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diff --git a/25619-8.txt b/25619-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f7260d0 --- /dev/null +++ b/25619-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,9644 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Mystic London:, by Charles Maurice Davies + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Mystic London: + or, Phases of occult life in the metropolis + +Author: Charles Maurice Davies + +Release Date: May 27, 2008 [EBook #25619] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MYSTIC LONDON: *** + + + + +Produced by Curtis Weyant and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by Case +Western Reserve University Preservation Department Digital +Library) + + + + + + + +------------------------------------------------------------+ + | Transcriber's Note: | + | | + | Obvious typographical errors have been corrected in | + | this text. For a complete list, please see the bottom of | + | this document. | + | Text printed using the Greek alphabet in the original book | + | is shown as follows: [Greek: pistis] | + +------------------------------------------------------------+ + + + + +MYSTIC LONDON: + +OR, + +PHASES OF OCCULT LIFE IN THE METROPOLIS. + +BY + +REV. CHARLES MAURICE DAVIES, D.D. +AUTHOR OF "ORTHODOX" AND "UNORTHODOX LONDON," ETC. + +"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, + Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." + _Hamlet._ + +LONDON: TINSLEY BROTHERS, 8, CATHERINE STREET, STRAND. 1875. +[_All rights of Translation and Reproduction are reserved._] + +LONDON: +SAVILL, EDWARDS AND CO., PRINTERS, CHANDOS STREET, +COVENT GARDEN. + + + + +CONTENTS. + + + CHAP. PAGE + + I. LONDON ARABS 1 + + II. EAST LONDON ARABS 11 + + III. LONDON ARABS IN CANADA 21 + + IV. WAIFS AND STRAYS 29 + + V. A LUNATIC BALL 38 + + VI. A BABY SHOW 51 + + VII. A NIGHT IN A BAKEHOUSE 58 + + VIII. A LONDON SLAVE MARKET 67 + + IX. TEA AND EXPERIENCE 73 + + X. SUNDAY LINNET-SINGING 85 + + XI. A WOMAN'S RIGHTS DEBATE 92 + + XII. AN OPEN-AIR TICHBORNE MEETING 100 + + XIII. SUNDAY IN A PEOPLE'S GARDEN 108 + + XIV. UTILIZING THE YOUNG LADIES 116 + + XV. FAIRLOP FRIDAY 122 + + XVI. A CHRISTMAS DIP 129 + + XVII. BOXING-DAY ON THE STREETS 134 + + XVIII. THE VIGIL OF THE DERBY 141 + + XIX. THE WIFESLAYER'S "HOME" 150 + + XX. BATHING IN THE FAR EAST 157 + + XXI. AMONG THE QUAKERS 164 + + XXII. PENNY READINGS 172 + + XXIII. DARWINISM ON THE DEVIL 179 + + XXIV. PECULIAR PEOPLE 198 + + XXV. INTERVIEWING AN ASTROLOGER 204 + + XXVI. A BARMAID SHOW 212 + + XXVII. A PRIVATE EXECUTION 217 + + XXVIII. BREAKING UP FOR THE HOLIDAYS 224 + + XXIX. PSYCHOLOGICAL LADIES 228 + + XXX. SECULARISM ON BUNYAN 233 + + XXXI. AL FRESCO INFIDELITY 242 + + XXXII. AN "INDESCRIBABLE PHENOMENON" 250 + + XXXIII. A LADY MESMERIST 260 + + XXXIV. A PSYCHOPATHIC INSTITUTION 269 + + XXXV. A PHRENOLOGICAL EVENING 277 + + XXXVI. A SPIRITUAL PICNIC 284 + + XXXVII. A GHOSTLY CONFERENCE 290 + +XXXVIII. AN EVENING'S DIABLERIE 300 + + XXXIX. SPIRITUAL ATHLETES 307 + + XL. "SPOTTING" SPIRIT MEDIUMS 313 + + XLI. A SÉANCE FOR SCEPTICS 320 + + XLII. AN EVENING WITH THE HIGHER SPIRITS 328 + + XLIII. SPIRIT FORMS 340 + + XLIV. SITTING WITH A SIBYL 347 + + XLV. SPIRITUALISTS AND CONJURERS 355 + + XLVI. PROS AND CONS OF SPIRITUALISM 362 + + + + +INTRODUCTION. + + +It is perhaps scarcely necessary to say that I use the term Mystic, as +applied to the larger portion of this volume, in its technical sense to +signify my own _initiation_ into some of the more occult phases of +metropolitan existence. It is only to the Spiritualistic, or concluding +portion of my work, that the word applies in its ordinary signification. + +C. M. D. + + + + +MYSTIC LONDON. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +LONDON ARABS. + + +Of all the protean forms of misery that meet us in the bosom of that +"stony-hearted stepmother, London," there is none that appeals so +directly to our sympathies as the spectacle of a destitute child. In the +case of the grown man or woman, sorrow and suffering are often traceable +to the faults, or at best to the misfortunes of the sufferers +themselves; but in the case of the child they are mostly, if not always, +vicarious. The fault, or desertion, or death of the natural protectors, +turns loose upon the desert of our streets those nomade hordes of +Bedouins, male and female, whose presence is being made especially +palpable just now, and whose reclamation is a perplexing, yet still a +hopeful problem. In the case of the adult Arab, there is a life's work +to undo, and the facing of that fact it is which makes some of our +bravest workers drop their hands in despair. With these young Arabs, on +the contrary, it is only the wrong bias of a few early years to +correct, leaving carte blanche for any amount of hope in youth, +maturity, and old age. Being desirous of forming, for my own +edification, some notion of the amount of the evil existing, and the +efforts made to counteract it, I planned a pilgrimage into this Arabia +Infelix--this Petræa of the London flagstones; and purpose setting down +here, in brief, a few of my experiences, for the information of +stay-at-home travellers, and still more for the sake of pointing out to +such as may be disposed to aid in the work of rescuing these little +Arabs the proper channels for their beneficence. Selecting, then, the +Seven Dials and Bethnal Green as the foci of my observation in West and +East London respectively, I set out for the former one bleak March +night, and by way of breaking ground, applied to the first +police-constable I met on that undesirable beat for information as to my +course. After one or two failures, I met with an officer literally +"active and intelligent," who convoyed me through several of that +network of streets surrounding the Seven Dials, leaving me to my own +devices when he had given me the general bearings of the district it +would be desirable to visit. + +My first raid was on the Ragged School and Soup Kitchen in Charles +Street, Drury Lane, an evil-looking and unfragrant locality; but the +institution in question stands so close to the main thoroughfare that +the most fastidious may visit it with ease. Here I found some twenty +Arabs assembled for evening school. They were of all ages, from seven to +fifteen, and their clothing was in an inverse ratio to their dirt--very +little of the former, and a great deal of the latter. They moved about +with their bare feet in the most feline way, like the veritable Bedouin +himself. There they were, however, over greasy slates and grimy +copy-books, in process of civilization. The master informed me that his +special difficulties arose from the attractions of the theatre and the +occasional intrusion of wild Arabs, who came only to kick up a row. At +eight o'clock the boys were to be regaled with a brass band practice, +so, finding from one of the assembled Arabs that there was a second +institution of the kind in King Street, Long Acre, I passed on thereto. +Here I was fortunate enough to find the presiding genius in the person +of a young man engaged in business during the day, and devoting his +extra time to the work of civilizing the barbarians of this district. +Sunday and week-day services, night schools, day schools, Bands of Hope, +temperance meetings, and last, not least, the soup kitchen, were the +means at work here. Not a single officer is paid. The task is undertaken +"all for love, and nothing for reward," and it has thriven so far that +my presence interrupted a debate between the gentleman above-mentioned +and one of his coadjutors on the subject of taking larger premises. The +expenses were met by the weekly offerings, and I was surprised to see by +a notice posted in the room where the Sunday services are held, that +the sum total for the past week was only _19s. 4d._ So there must be +considerable sacrifice of something more than time to carry on this +admirable work. Under the guidance of the second gentleman mentioned +above, I proceeded to the St. George's and St. Giles's Refuge in Great +Queen Street, where boys are admitted on their own application, the only +qualification being destitution. Here they are housed, clothed, boarded, +and taught such trades as they may be fitted for, and not lost sight of +until they are provided with situations. A hundred and fifty-four was +the number of this truly miraculous draught from the great ocean of +London streets, whom I saw all comfortably bedded in one spacious +dormitory. Downstairs were the implements and products of the day's +work, dozens of miniature cobblers' appliances, machines for sawing and +chopping firewood, &c., whilst, in a spacious refectory on the first +floor, I was informed, the resident Arabs extended on a Friday their +accustomed hospitality to other tribes, to such an extent, that the +party numbered about 500. Besides the 154 who were fortunate enough to +secure beds, there were twenty new arrivals, who had to be quartered on +the floor for the night; but at all events they had a roof above them, +and were out of the cruel east wind that made Arabia Petræa that evening +an undesirable resting-place indeed. Lights were put out, and doors +closed, when I left, as this is not a night refuge; but notices are +posted, I am informed, in the various casual wards and temporary +refuges, directing boys to this. There is a kindred institution for +girls in Broad Street. Such was my first experience of the western +portion of Arabia Infelix. + +The following Sunday I visited the Mission Hall belonging to Bloomsbury +Chapel, in Moor Street, Soho, under the management of Mr. M'Cree, and +the nature of the work is much the same as that pursued at King Street. +The eleven o'clock service was on this particular day devoted to +children, who were assembled in large numbers, singing their cheerful +hymns, and listening to a brief, practical, and taking address. These +children, however, were of a class above the Arab type, being generally +well dressed. I passed on thence to what was then Mr. Brock's chapel, +where I found my veritable Arabs, whom I had seen in bed the previous +evening, arrayed in a decent suit of "sober livery," and perched up in a +high gallery to gather what they could comprehend of Mr. Brock's +discourse--not very much, I should guess; for that gentleman's long +Latinized words would certainly fire a long way over their heads, high +as was their position. I found the whole contingent of children provided +for at the refuge was 400, including those on board the training ship +_Chichester_ and the farm at Bisley, near Woking, Surrey. This is +certainly the most complete way of dealing with the Arabs par +excellence, as it contemplates the case of utter destitution and +homelessness. It need scarcely be said, however, that such a work must +enlarge its boundaries very much, in order to make any appreciable +impression on the vast amount of such destitution. Here, nevertheless, +is the germ, and it is already fructifying most successfully. The other +institutions, dealing with larger masses of children, aim at civilizing +them at home, and so making each home a centre of influence. + +Passing back again to the King Street Mission Hall, I found assembled +there the band of fifty missionaries, male and female, who visit every +Sunday afternoon the kitchens of the various lodging-houses around the +Seven Dials. Six hundred kitchens are thus visited every week. After +roll-call, and a brief address, we sallied forth, I myself accompanying +Mr. Hatton--the young man to whom the establishment of the Mission is +due--and another of his missionaries. I had heard much of the St. +Giles's Kitchens, but failed to realize any idea of the human beings +swarming by dozens and scores in those subterranean regions. Had it not +been for the fact that nearly every man was smoking, the atmosphere +would have been unbearable. In most of the kitchens they were beguiling +the ennui of Sunday afternoon with cards; but the game was invariably +suspended on our arrival. Some few removed their hats--for all wore +them--and a smaller number still joined in a verse or two of a hymn, +and listened to a portion of Scripture and a few words of exhortation. +One or two seemed interested, others smiled sardonically; the majority +kept a dogged silence. Some read their papers and refused the tracts and +publications offered them. These, I found, were the Catholics. I was +assured there were many men there who themselves, or whose friends, had +occupied high positions. I was much struck with the language of one +crop-headed young fellow of seventeen or eighteen, who, seeing me grope +my way, said, "They're not very lavish with the gas here, sir, are +they?" It may appear that this "experience" has little bearing on the +Arab boys; but really some of the inmates of these kitchens _were_ but +boys. Those we visited were in the purlieus of the old "Rookery," and +for these dens, I was informed, the men paid fourpence a night! Surely a +little money invested in decent dwellings for such people would be well +and even remuneratively spent. The kitchens, my informant--who has spent +many years among them--added, are generally the turning point between +honesty and crime. The discharged soldier or mechanic out of work is +there herded with the professional thief or burglar, and learns his +trade and gets to like his life. + +The succeeding evening I devoted first of all to the Girls' Refuge, 19, +Broad Street, St. Giles's. Here were sixty-two girls of the same class +as the boys in Great Queen Street, who remain until provided with +places as domestic servants. A similar number were in the Home at +Ealing. The Institution itself is the picture of neatness and order. I +dropped in quite unexpectedly; and any visitor who may be induced to +follow my example, will not fail to be struck with the happy, "homely" +look of everything, the clean, cheerful appearance of the female Arabs, +and the courtesy and kindness of the matron. These girls are considered +to belong to St. Giles's parish, as the boys to Bloomsbury Chapel. So +far the good work has been done by the Dissenters and Evangelical party +in the Established Church. The sphere of the High Church--as I was +reminded by the Superintendent Sergeant--is the Newport Market Refuge +and Industrial Schools. Here, besides the male and female refuges, is a +Home for Destitute Boys, who are housed and taught on the same plan as +at St. Giles's. Their domicile is even more cosy than the other, and +might almost tempt a boy to act the part of an "amateur Arab." I can +only say the game that was going on, previously to bed, in the large +covered play room, with bare feet and in shirt sleeves, was enough to +provoke the envy of any member of a Dr. Blimber's "Establishment." The +Institution had just had a windfall in the shape of one of those +agreeable _1000l._ cheques that have been flying about lately, or their +resources would have been cramped; but the managers are wisely sensible +that such windfalls do not come every day, and so forbear enlarging +their borders as they could wish. + +Strangely enough, the Roman Catholics, who usually outdo us in their +work among the poor, seemed a little behindhand in this special +department of settling the Arabs. They have schools largely attended in +Tudor Place, Tottenham Court Road, White Lion Street, Seven Dials, &c., +but, as far as I could ascertain, nothing local in the shape of a +Refuge. To propagate the faith may be all very well, and will be only +the natural impulse of a man sincere in his own belief; but we must not +forget that these Arabs have bodies as well as souls, and that those +bodies have been so shamefully debased and neglected as to drag the +higher energies down with them; and it is a great question whether it is +not absolutely necessary to begin on the very lowest plane first, and so +to work towards the higher. Through the body and the mind we may at last +reach the highest sphere of all. + +Without for one moment wishing to write down the "religious" element, it +is, I repeat, a grave question whether the premature introduction of +that element does not sometimes act as a deterrent, and frustrate the +good that might otherwise be done. Still there is the great fact, good +_is_ being done. It would be idle to carp at any means when the end is +so thoroughly good. I could not help, as I passed from squalid kitchen +to kitchen that Sunday afternoon, feeling Lear's words ring through my +mind:-- + + O, I have ta'en + Too little care of this. Take physic, pomp, + Expose thyself to feel what wretches feel, + That thou mayst shake the superflux to them, + And show the heavens more just. + +And now "Eastward ho!" for "experiences" in Bethnal Green. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +EAST LONDON ARABS. + + +Notwithstanding my previous experiences among the Western tribes of +Bedouins whose locale is the Desert of the Seven Dials, I must confess +to considerable strangeness when first I penetrated the wilderness of +Bethnal Green. Not only was it utterly terra incognita to me, but, with +their manifold features in common, the want and squalor of the East have +traits distinct from those of the West. I had but the name of one +Bethnal Green parish and of one lady--Miss Macpherson--and with these +slender data I proceeded to my work, the results of which I again +chronicle seriatim. + +Passing from the Moorgate Street Station I made for the Eastern Counties +Terminus at Shoreditch, and soon after passing it struck off to my right +in the Bethnal Green Road. Here, amid a pervading atmosphere of +bird-fanciers and vendors of live pets in general, I found a Mission +Hall, belonging to I know not what denomination, and, aided by a +vigorous policeman, kicked--in the absence of knocker or bell--at all +the doors, without result. Nobody was there. I went on to the Bethnal +Green parish which had been named to me as the resort of nomade tribes, +and found the incumbent absent in the country for a week or so, and the +Scripture-reader afraid, in his absence, to give much information. He +ventured, however, to show me the industrial school, where some forty +children were employed in making match-boxes for Messrs. Bryant and May. +However, as I was told that the incumbent in question objected very +decidedly to refuges and ragged schools, and thought it much better for +the poor to strain a point and send their little ones to school, I felt +that was hardly the regimen to suit my Arabian friends, who were +evidently teeming in that locality. I was even returning home with the +view of getting further geographical particulars of this Eastern Arabia +Petræa, when, as a last resource, I was directed to a refuge in +Commercial Street. I rang here, and found myself in the presence of the +veritable Miss Macpherson herself, with whom I passed two pleasant and +instructive hours. + +At starting, Miss Macpherson rather objected to being made the subject +of an article--first of all, for the very comprehensible reason that +such publicity would draw down upon her a host of visitors; and when I +suggested that visitors probably meant funds, she added a second, and +not quite so comprehensible an objection--that these funds themselves +might alloy the element of Faith in which the work had been so far +carried on. She had thoroughly imbibed the spirit of Müller, whose Home +at Bristol was professedly the outcome of Faith and Prayer alone. +However, on my promise to publish only such particulars--name, locality, +&c.--as she might approve, this lady gave me the details of her truly +wonderful work. The building in which I found her had been erected to +serve as large warehouses, and here 110 of the most veritable Arabs were +housed, fed, taught, and converted into Christians, when so convertible. +Should they prove impressionable, Miss Macpherson then contemplates +their emigration to Canada. Many had already been sent out; and her idea +was to extend her operations in this respect: not, be it observed, to +cast hundreds of the scum of the East End of London upon Canada--a +proceeding to which the Canadians would very naturally object--but to +form a Home on that side to be fed from the Homes on this, and so to +remove from the old scenes of vice and temptation those who had been +previously trained in the refuges here. She has it in contemplation to +take a large hotel in Canada, and convert it into an institution of this +kind; and I fancy it was the possibility that publicity might aid this +larger scheme which eventually induced the good lady to let the world so +far know what she is doing. At all events, she gave me carte blanche to +publish the results of my observations. + +In selecting and dealing with the inmates of her refuges, Miss +Macpherson avails herself of the science of phrenology, in which she +believes, and she advances good reason for so doing. I presume my +phrenological development must have been satisfactory, since she not +only laid aside her objection to publicity, but even allowed me to carry +off with me her MS. "casebooks," from which I cull one or two of several +hundred:-- + +"1. T. S., aged ten (March 5, 1869).--An orphan. Mother died in St. +George's Workhouse. Father killed by coming in contact with a diseased +sheep, being a slaughterman. A seller of boxes in the street. Slept last +in a bed before Christmas. Slept in hay-carts, under a tarpaulin. Says +the prayers his mother 'teached him.'" + +"2. J. H., aged twelve (March 5).--No home but the streets. Father +killed by an engine-strap, being an engineer. Mother died of a broken +heart. Went into ---- Workhouse; but ran away through ill-treatment last +December. Slept in ruins near Eastern Counties Railway. _Can't remember_ +when he last lay in a bed." + +"3. A. R., aged eleven (March 5).--Mother and father left him and two +brothers in an empty room in H---- Street. Policeman, hearing them +crying, broke open the door and took them to the workhouse. His two +brothers died. Was moved from workhouse by grandmother, and she, unable +to support him, turned him out on the streets. Slept in railway ruins; +lived by begging. July 24, sent to Home No. 1 as a reward for good +conduct." + +Besides thus rescuing hundreds of homeless ones, Miss Macpherson has in +many instances been the means of restoring runaway children of +respectable parents. Here is an instance:-- + +"Feb. 25th.--S. W. T., aged fourteen, brought into Refuge by one of the +night teachers, who noticed him in a lodging-house respectably dressed. +Had walked up to London from N----, in company with two sailors +(disreputable men, whom the lodging-house keeper declined to take in). +Had been reading sensational books. Wrote to address at N----. Father +telegraphed to keep him. Uncle came for him with fresh clothes and took +him home. He had begun to pawn his clothes for his night's lodging. His +father had been for a fortnight in communication with the police." + +The constables in the neighbourhood all know Miss Macpherson's Refuge, +and her readiness to take boys in at any time; so that many little +vagrants are brought thither by them and reclaimed, instead of being +locked up and sent to prison, to go from bad to worse. Besides this +receptacle for boys, Miss Macpherson has also a Home at Hackney, where +girls of the same class are housed. The plan she adopts is to get a +friend to be responsible for one child. The cost she reckons at _6l. +10s._ per annum for those under ten years, and _10l._ for those above. + +But this excellent lady's good works are by no means catalogued yet. +Besides the children being fed and taught in these Homes, the parents +and children are constantly gathered for sewing classes, tea meetings, +&c. at the Refuge. Above 400 children are thus influenced; and Miss +Macpherson, with her coadjutors, systematically visits the wretched dens +and lodging-houses into which no well-dressed person, unless favourably +known like her for her work among the children, would dare to set foot. +I was also present when a hearty meal of excellent soup and a large lump +of bread were given to between three and four hundred men, chiefly dock +labourers out of employ. It was a touching sight to notice the stolid +apathy depicted on most of the countenances, which looked unpleasantly +like despair. One of the men assured me that for every package that had +to be unladen from the docks there were ten pair of hands ready to do +the work, where only one could be employed. Many of the men, he assured +me, went for two, sometimes three, days without food; and with the large +majority of those assembled the meal they were then taking would +represent the whole of their subsistence for the twenty-four-hours. +After supper a hymn was sung, and a few words spoken to them by Miss +Macpherson on the allegory of the Birds and Flowers in the Sermon on the +Mount; and so they sallied forth into the darkness of Arabia Petræa. I +mounted to the little boys' bedroom, where the tiniest Arabs of all +were enjoying the luxury of a game, with bare feet, before retiring. +Miss Macpherson dragged a mattress off one of the beds and threw it down +in the centre for them to tumble head-over-tail; and, as she truly said, +it was difficult to recognise in those merry shouts and happy faces any +remains of the veriest reprobates of the London streets. + +Let us hear Miss Macpherson herself speak. In a published pamphlet, "Our +Perishing Little Ones," she says: "As to the present state of the +mission, we simply say 'Come and see.' It is impossible by words to give +an idea of the mass of 120,000 precious souls who live on this one +square mile.... My longing is to send forth, so soon as the ice breaks, +500 of our poor street boys, waifs and strays that have been gathered +in, to the warm-hearted Canadian farmers. In the meantime, who will help +us to make outfits, and collect _5l._ for each little Arab, that there +be no hindrance to the complement being made up when the spring time is +come?... Ladies who are householders can aid us much in endeavours to +educate these homeless wanderers to habits of industry by sending orders +for their firewood--_4s._ per hundred bundles, sent free eight miles +from the City." And, again, in Miss Macpherson's book called "The Little +Matchmakers," she says: "In this work of faith and labour of love among +the very lowest in our beloved country, let us press on, looking for +great things. Preventing sin and crime is a much greater work than +curing it. There are still many things on my heart requiring more +pennies. As they come, we will go forward." + +Miss Macpherson's motto is, "The Word first in all things; afterwards +bread for this body." There are some of us who would be inclined to +reverse this process--to feed the body and educate the mind--not +altogether neglecting spiritual culture, even at the earliest stage, but +leaving anything like definite religious schooling until the poor mind +and body were, so to say, acclimatized. It is, of course, much easier to +sit still and theorize and criticise than to do what these excellent +people have done and are doing to diminish this gigantic evil. "By their +fruits ye shall know them" is a criterion based on authority that we are +none of us inclined to dispute. Miss Macpherson boasts--and a very +proper subject for boasting it is--that she belongs to no _ism_. It is +significant, however, that the Refuge bears, or bore, the name of the +"Revival" Refuge, and the paper which contained the earliest accounts of +its working was called the _Revivalist_, though now baptized with the +broader title of the _Christian_. Amid such real work it would be a pity +to have the semblance of unreality, and I dreaded to think of the +possibility of its existing, when little grimy hands were held out by +boys volunteering to say a text for my behoof. By far the most +favourite one was "Jesus wept;" next came "God is love"--each most +appropriate; but the sharp boy, a few years older, won approval by a +longer and more doctrinal quotation, whilst several of these held out +hands again when asked whether, in the course of the day, they had felt +the efficacy of the text given on the previous evening, "Set a watch, O +Lord, before my mouth; keep Thou the door of my lips." Such an +experience would be a sign of advanced spirituality in an adult. Is it +ungenerous to ask whether its manifestation in an Arab child must not be +an anticipation of what might be the normal result of a few years' +training? May not this kind of _forcing_ explain the cases I saw quoted +in the books--of one boy who "felt like a fish out of water, and left +the same day of his own accord;" another who "climbed out of a +three-floor window and escaped?" + +However, here is the good work being done. Let us not carp at the +details, but help it on, unless we can do better ourselves. One thing +has been preeminently forced in upon me during this brief examination of +our London Arabs--namely, that individuals work better than communities +amongst these people. The work done by the great establishments, whether +of England, Rome, or Protestant Dissent, is insignificant compared with +that carried out by persons labouring like Mr. Hutton in Seven Dials and +Miss Macpherson in Whitechapel, untrammelled by any particular system. +The want, and sorrow, and suffering are individual, and need individual +care, just as the Master of old worked Himself, and sent His scripless +missionaries singly forth to labour for Him, as--on however +incommensurate a scale--they are still labouring, East and West, amongst +our London Arabs. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +LONDON ARABS IN CANADA. + + +In the previous chapter an account was given of the Arabs inhabiting +that wonderful "square mile" in East London, which has since grown to be +so familiar in men's mouths. The labours of Miss Macpherson towards +reclaiming these waifs and strays in her "Refuge and Home of Industry, +Commercial Street, Spitalfields," were described at some length, and +allusion was at the same time made to the views which that lady +entertained with regard to the exportation of those Arabs to Canada +after they should have undergone a previous probationary training in the +"Home." A short time afterwards it was my pleasing duty to witness the +departure of one hundred of these young boys from the St. Pancras +Station, en route for Canada; and it now strikes me that some account of +the voyage out, in the shape of excerpts from the letters of the devoted +ladies who themselves accompanied our Arabs across the Atlantic, may +prove interesting; while, at the same time, a calculation of their +probable success in their new life and homes may not improbably +stimulate those who cannot give their time, to give at least their +countenance, and it may be, their material aid, to a scheme which +recommends itself to all our sympathies--the permanent reclamation of +the little homeless wanderers of our London streets. + +The strange old rambling "Home" in Commercial Street, built originally +for warehouses, then used as a cholera hospital, and now the Arab +Refuge, presented a strange appearance during the week before the +departure of the chosen hundred. On the ground-floor were the packages +of the young passengers; on the first floor the "new clothes, shirts, +and stockings, sent by kind lady friends from all parts of the kingdom, +trousers and waistcoats made by the widows, and the boots and pilot +jackets made by the boys themselves." The dormitory was the great +store-closet for all the boys' bags filled with things needful on board +ship; and on the top floor, we can well imagine, the last day was a +peculiarly melancholy one. The work attendant upon the boys' last meal +at the Refuge was over, and there, in the long narrow kitchen, stood the +cook wiping away her tears with her apron, and the six little waiting +maids around them, with the novel feeling of having nothing to +do--there, where so much cutting, buttering, and washing-up had been the +order of the day. When the summons came to start, the police had great +difficulty in clearing a way for the boys to the vans through the +surging mass of East London poverty. Some of the little match-box makers +ran all the three miles from Commercial Street to St. Pancras Station +to see the very last of their boy-friends. + +Derby was the stopping-place on the journey to Liverpool, and the +attention of passengers and guards was arrested by this strange company +gathering on the platform at midnight and singing two of the favourite +Refuge hymns. Liverpool was reached at 4 A.M., and the boys filed off in +fours, with their canvas bags over their shoulders, to the river side, +where their wondering eyes beheld the _Peruvian_, which was to bear them +to their new homes. + +At this point, Miss Macpherson's sister--who is carrying on the work of +the Refuge during that lady's absence--wrote as follows:--"Could our +Christian friends have seen the joy that beamed in the faces of those +hundred lads from whom we have just parted--could they know the misery, +the awful precipice of crime and sin from which they have been +snatched--we are sure their hearts would be drawn out in love for those +little ones. If still supported," she continues, "I hope to send out +another party of fifty boys and fifty girls while my sister remains in +Canada, and shall be happy to forward the name and history of a boy or +girl to any kind friend wishing to provide for a special case. In the +broad fields of that new country where the farmers are only too glad to +adopt healthy young boys or girls into their families, hundreds of our +perishing little ones may find a happy home." + +On Thursday, the 12th of May, the _Peruvian_ dropped down the river; +and, as the last batch of friends left her when she passed out into the +Channel, these one hundred boys, with Miss Macpherson, leaned over the +bulwarks, singing the hymn, "Yes, we part, but not for ever." + +From Derry Miss Macpherson wrote under date May 13th:--"With the +exception of two, all are on deck now, as bright as larks; they have +carried up poor Jack Frost and Franks the runner. It is most touching to +see them wrap them up in their rugs. Michael Flinn, the Shoreditch +shoeblack, was up all night, caring for the sick boys. Poor Mike! He and +I have exchanged nods at the Eastern Counties Railway corner these five +years. It is a great joy to give him such a chance for life." + +The voyage out was prosperous enough, though there were some contrary +winds, and a good deal of sea-sickness among the lads. The captain seems +to have been quite won by the self-denying kindness of the ladies, and +he lightened their hands by giving occupation to the boys. Then came out +the result of training at the Refuge. Those who had been some time there +showed themselves amenable to discipline; but the late arrivals were +more fractious, and difficult to manage. These were the lads "upon +whom," as Miss Macpherson says, "the street life had left sore marks." +Even when only nearing the American coast, this indomitable lady's +spirit is planning a second expedition. "As far as I dare make plans, I +should like to return, starting from Montreal July 16th, reaching the +Home July 27th; and then return with another lot the second week in +August. This second lot must be lads who are now under influence, and +who have been not less than six months in a refuge." The finale to this +second letter, written from Canada, adds: "The boys, _to a man_, behaved +splendidly. The agent's heart is won. All have improved by the voyage, +and many are brown hearty-looking chaps fit for any toil." + +In the _Montreal Herald_, of May 27th, there is an account of these boys +after their arrival, which says:--"Miss Macpherson is evidently a lady +whose capacity for organization and command is of the very highest +order; for boys, in most hands, are not too easily managed, but in hers +they were as obedient as a company of soldiers.... These boys will +speedily be placed in positions, where they will grow up respectable and +respected members of society, with access to the highest positions in +the country freely open to them.... We hope that Miss Macpherson will +place all her boys advantageously, and will bring us many more. She is a +benefactor to the Empire in both hemispheres." + +The importance of this testimony can scarcely be overrated, since many +persons hold themselves aloof from a work of this nature through a +feeling that it is not fair to draft our Arab population on a colony. It +will be seen, however, that it is not proposed to export these boys +until they shall have been brought well under influence, and so have got +rid of what Miss Macpherson so graphically terms the "sore marks of +their street life." + +Apropos of this subject, it may not be irrelevant to quote a +communication which has been received from Sir John Young, the +Governor-General of Canada, dated Ottawa, May 3rd, 1870:--"For emigrants +able and willing to work, Canada offers at present a very good prospect. +The demand for agricultural labourers in Ontario during the present year +is estimated at from 30,000 to 40,000; and an industrious man may expect +to make about one dollar a day throughout the year, if he is willing to +turn his hand to clearing land, threshing, &c., during the winter. But +it is of no use for emigrants to come here unless they make up their +minds to take whatever employment offers itself most readily, without +making difficulties because it is not that to which they have been +accustomed, or which they prefer." + +I visited the Refuge and Home of Industry a few nights afterwards, and, +though Miss Macpherson was absent, found all in working order. +Sixty-three boys were then its occupants. The superintendent was +anxiously looking forward to be able to carry out the plan of +despatching fifty boys and fifty girls during the ensuing summer. The +sum required for an East End case is _5l._; for a special case, _10l._ +The following are specimens of about sixty cases of boys whom she would +like to send out, knowing that in Canada they could readily obtain +places:-- + +P. E., aged seventeen.--Mother died of fever, leaving seven children; +father a dock labourer, but cannot get full employment. + +L. J., aged thirteen.--Mother dead; does not know where her father is; +has been getting her living by singing songs in the lodging-houses; is +much improved by her stay in the Home, and will make a tidy little maid. +This is just one of the many who might thus be rescued from a life of +sin and misery. + +Returning home through the squalid streets that night, where squatters +were vending old shoes and boots that seemed scarcely worth picking out +of the kennel, and garments that appeared beneath the notice of the rag +merchant, I saw the little Bedouins still in full force, just as though +no effort had been made for their reclamation and housing. As they +crowded the doorsteps, huddled in the gutters, or vended boxes of lights +and solicited the honour of shining "your boots, sir," I could not help +picturing them crossing the sea, under kindly auspices, to the "better +land" beyond, and anon, in the broad Canadian fields or busy Canadian +towns, growing into respectable farmers and citizens; and straightway +each little grimed, wan face seemed to bear a new interest for me, and +to look wistfully up into mine with a sort of rightful demand on my +charity, saying to me, and through me to my many readers, "Come and +help us!" + +After the foregoing was written, a further letter arrived from Miss +Macpherson. All the boys were well placed. The agent at Quebec wished to +take the whole hundred in a lump, but only eleven were conceded to him. +At Montreal, too, all would have been taken, but twenty-one only were +left. All found excellent situations, many as house servants at _10l._ +and _15l._ a year. Eight were in like manner left at Belleville, half +way between Montreal and Toronto. Sixty were taken on to Toronto; and +here we are told "the platform was crowded with farmers anxious to +engage them all at once. It was difficult to get them to the office." A +gentleman arrived from Hamilton, saying that sixty applications had been +sent in for boys, directly it was known that Miss Macpherson was coming +out. So there is no need of anticipating anything like repugnance on the +part of the Canadians to the reception of our superfluous Arabs. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +WAIFS AND STRAYS. + + +Among the various qualifications for the festivities of Christmastide +and New Year, there is one which is, perhaps, not so generally +recognised as it might be. Some of us are welcomed to the bright +fireside or the groaning table on the score of our social and +conversational qualities. At many and many a cheery board, poverty is +the only stipulation that is made. I mean not now that the guests shall +occupy the unenviable position of "poor relations," but, in the +large-hearted charity that so widely prevails at that festive season, +the need of a dinner is being generally accepted as a title to that +staple requirement of existence. Neither of these, however, is the +distinction required in order to entitle those who bear it to the +hospitality of Mr. Edward Wright, better known under the abbreviated +title of "Ned," and without the prefatory "Mr." That one social quality, +without which a seat at Ned Wright's festive board cannot be compassed, +is Felony. A little rakish-looking green ticket was circulated a few +days previously among the members of Mr. Wright's former fraternity, +bidding them to a "Great Supper" in St. John's Chapel, Penrose Street +(late West Street), Walworth, got up under the auspices of the +South-East London Mission. The invitation ran as follows:-- + + "This ticket is only available for a male person who has + been convicted at least once for felony, and is not + transferable. We purpose providing a good supper of bread + and soup, after which an address will be given. At the close + of the meeting a parcel of provisions will be given to each + man. Supper will be provided in the lower part of the + chapel. Boys not admitted this time.--Your friend, for + Christ's sake, + + "NED WRIGHT." + +Why juvenile felons should be excluded "this time," and whether the fact +of having been convicted more than once would confer any additional +privileges, did not appear at first sight. So it was, however; adult +felonious Walworth was bidden to the supper, and to the supper it came. +Among the attractions held out to spectators of the proceedings was the +announcement that a magistrate was to take part in them--a fact that +possibly was not made generally known among the guests, in whose regard +it is very questionable whether the presence of the dreaded "beak" might +not have proved the reverse of a "draw." However, they came, possibly in +happy ignorance of the potentate who was awaiting them, and than whom +there is one only creation of civilized life considered by the London +cadger his more natural enemy, that is the policeman. + +Six o'clock was the hour appointed for the repast, and there was no need +for the wanderer in Walworth Road to inquire which was Penrose Street. +Little groups of shambling fellows hulked about the corner waiting for +some one to lead the way to the unaccustomed chapel. Group after group, +however, melted away into the dingy building where Ned was ready to +welcome them. With him I found, not one magistrate, but two; one the +expected magnate from the country, the other a well-known occupant of +the London bench, with whom, I fancy, many of the guests could boast a +previous acquaintance of a character the reverse of desirable. Penrose +Street Chapel had been formerly occupied by the Unitarians, but was then +taken permanently by Ned Wright at a rental of between _60l._ and _70l._ +per annum, and formed the third of his "centres," the others being under +a railway arch in the New Kent Road, and the Mission Hall, Deptford. As +row by row filled with squalid occupants, I could but scan from my +vantage-ground in the gallery the various physiognomies. I am bound to +say the typical gaol-bird was but feebly represented. The visitors +looked like hard-working men--a little pinched and hungry, perhaps, and +in many cases obviously dejected and ashamed of the qualification which +gave them their seat. One or two, mostly of the younger, came in with a +swagger and a rough joke; but Ned and his guests knew one another, and +he quickly removed the lively young gentleman to a quiet corner out of +harm's way. A fringe of spectators, mostly female, occupied the front +seat in the gallery when proceedings commenced, which they did with a +hymn, composed by Ned Wright himself. The ladies' voices proved very +useful in this respect; but most of the men took the printed copies of +the hymns, which were handed round, and looked as if they could read +them, not a few proving they could by singing full-voiced. After the +hymn, Wright announced that he had ordered eighty gallons of soup--some +facetious gentleman suggesting, "That's about a gallon apiece"--and he +hoped all would get enough. Probably about 100 guests had by this time +assembled, and each was provided with a white basin, which was filled by +Ned and his assistants, with soup from a washing jug. A paper bag +containing half a quartern loaf was also given to each, and the contents +rapidly disappeared. As the fragrant steam mounted provokingly from the +soup-basins up to the gallery, Mr. Wright took occasion to mention that +at the last supper Mr. Clark, of the New Cut, furnished the soup +gratuitously--a fact which he thought deserved to be placed on record. + +In the intervals of the banquet, the host informed me that he had +already witnessed forty genuine "conversions" as the results of these +gatherings. He had, as usual, to contend with certain obtrusive +gentlemen who "assumed the virtue" of felony, "though they had it not," +and were summarily dismissed with the assurance that he "didn't want no +tramps." One mysterious young man came in and sat down on a front row, +but did not remain two minutes before a thought seemed to strike him, +and he beat a hasty retreat. Whether he was possessed with the idea I +had to combat on a previous occasion of the same kind, that I was a +policeman, I cannot tell, but he never reappeared. I hope I was not the +innocent cause of his losing his supper. The only "felonious" trait I +observed was a furtive glance every now and then cast around, and +especially up to the gallery. Beyond this there really was little to +distinguish the gathering from a meeting of artisans a little bit "down +on their luck," or out on strike, or under some cloud of that sort. + +As supper progressed, the number of spectators in the gallery increased; +and, with all due deference to Ned Wright's good intentions, it may be +open to question whether this presence of spectators in the gallery is +wise. It gives a sort of spurious dash and bravado to the calling of a +felon to be supping in public, and have ladies looking on, just like the +"swells" at a public dinner. I am sure some of the younger men felt +this, and swaggered through their supper accordingly. There certainly +was not a symptom of shame on the face of a single guest, or any +evidences of dejection, when once the pea-soup had done its work. Some +of the very lively gentlemen in the front row even devoted themselves to +making critical remarks on the occupants of the gallery. As a rule, and +considering the antecedents of the men, the assembly was an orderly one; +and would, I think, have been more so, but for the presence of the fair +sex in the upper regions, many of whom, it is but justice to say, were +enjoying the small talk of certain oily-haired young missionaries, and +quite unconscious of being the objects of admiring glances from below. + +Supper took exactly an hour, and then came another hymn, Ned Wright +telling his guests that the tune was somewhat difficult, but that the +gallery would sing it for them first, and then they would be able to do +it for themselves. Decidedly, Mr. Wright is getting "æsthetic." This +hymn was, in fact, monopolized by the gallery, the men listening and +evidently occupied in digesting their supper. One would rather have +heard something in which they could join. However, it was a lively +march-tune, and they evidently liked it, and kept time to it with their +feet, after the custom of the gods on Boxing Night. At this point Ned +and five others mounted the little railed platform, Bible in hand, and +the host read what he termed "a portion out of the Good Old Book," +choosing appropriately Luke xv., which tells of the joy among angels +over one sinner that repenteth, and the exquisite allegory of the +Prodigal Son, which Ned read with a good deal of genuine pathos. It +reminded him, he said, of old times. He himself was one of the first +prisoners at Wandsworth when "old Brixton" was shut up. He had "done" +three calendar months, and when he came out he saw an old grey-headed +man, with a bundle. "That," said Ned, "was my godly old father, and the +bundle was new clothes in place of my old rags." + +The country magistrate then came forward, and drew an ironical contrast +between the "respectable" people in the gallery and the "thieves" down +below. "God says we have all 'robbed Him.' All are equal in God's sight. +But some of us are pardoned thieves." At this point the discourse became +theological, and fired over the heads of the people down below. They +listened much as they listen to a magisterial remark from the bench; but +it was not their own language, such as Ned speaks. It was the "beak," +not the old "pal." It was not their vernacular. It did for the +gallery--interested the ladies and the missionaries vastly, but not the +thieves. It was wonderful that they bore it as well as they did. The +magisterial dignity evidently overawed them; but they soon got used to +it, and yawned or sat listlessly. Some leant their heads on the rail in +front and slept. The latest arrivals left earliest. They had come to +supper, not to sermon. + +Another of Ned Wright's hymns was then sung--Mr. Wright's muse having +been apparently prolific in the past year, no less than six hymns on the +list being written by himself during those twelve months. It is much to +be hoped that these poetical and æsthetical proclivities will not deaden +his practical energies. This hymn was pitched distressingly high, and +above the powers of all but the "gallery" and a very few indeed of the +guests; but most of them put in a final "Glory, Hallelujah," at the end +of each stanza. Mr. Wright's tunes are bright and cheerful in the +extreme, without being vulgar or offensively secular. + +The host himself then spoke a few words on the moral of the Sermon on +the Mount: "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness." He +claimed many of those before him as old pals who had "drunk out of the +same pot and shuffled the same pack of cards," and contrasted his +present state with theirs. Then they listened, open-mouthed and +eager-eyed, though they had been sitting two full hours. He pictured the +life of Christ, and His love for poor men. "Christ died for you," he +said, "as well as for the 'big people.' Who is that on the cross beside +the Son of God?" he asked in an eloquent apostrophe. "It is a thief. +Come to Christ, and say, 'I've no character. I'm branded as a felon. I'm +hunted about the streets of London. He will accept you.'" He drew a +vivid picture of the number of friends he had when he rowed for Dogget's +Coat and Badge. He met with an accident midway; "and when I got to the +Swan at Chelsea," he said, "I had no friends left. I was a losing man. +Christ will never treat you like that. He has never let me want in the +nine years since I have been converted." After a prayer the assembly +broke up, only those being requested to remain who required advice. The +prayer was characteristic, being interspersed with groans from the +gallery; and then a paper bag, containing bread and cakes, was given to +each, Ned observing, "There, the devil don't give you that. He gives you +toke and skilly." Being desired to go quietly, one gentleman expressed a +hope that there was no policeman; another adding, "We don't want to get +lagged." Ned had to reassure them on my score once more, and then nearly +all disappeared--some ingenious guests managing to get two and three +bags by going out and coming in again, until some one in the gallery +meanly peached! + +Only some half-dozen out of the hundred remained, and Ned Wright +kneeling at one of the benches prayed fervently, and entered into +conversation with them one by one. Two or three others dropped in, and +there was much praying and groaning, but evidently much sincerity. And +so with at least some new impressions for good, some cheering hopeful +words to take them on in the New Year, those few waifs and strays passed +out into the darkness, to retain, let it be hoped, some at least of the +better influences which were brought to bear upon them in that brighter +epoch in their darkened lives when Ned Wright's invitation gathered them +to the Thieves' Supper. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +A LUNATIC BALL. + + +One half of the world believes the other half to be mad; and who shall +decide which moiety is right, the reputed lunatics or the supposed sane, +since neither party can be unprejudiced in the matter? At present the +minority believe that it is a mere matter of numbers, and that if +intellect carried the day, and right were not overborne by might, the +position of parties would be exactly reversed. The dilemma forced itself +strongly on my consciousness for a solution when I attended the annual +ball at Hanwell Lunatic Asylum. The prevailing opinion inside the walls +was that the majority of madmen lay outside, and that the most +hopelessly insane people in all the world were the officers immediately +concerned in the management of the establishment itself. + +It was a damp, muggy January evening when I journeyed to this suburban +retreat. It rained dismally, and the wind nearly blew the porter out of +his lodge as he obeyed our summons at the Dantesque portal of the +institution, in passing behind which so many had literally abandoned +hope. I tried to fancy how it would feel if one were really being +consigned to that receptacle by interested relatives, as we read in +three-volume novels; but it was no use. I was one of a merry company on +that occasion. The officials of Hanwell Asylum had been a little shy of +being handed down to fame; so I adopted the ruse of getting into Herr +Gustav Küster's corps of fiddlers for the occasion. However, I must in +fairness add that the committee during the evening withdrew the taboo +they had formerly placed on my writing. I was free to immortalize them; +and my fiddling was thenceforth a work of supererogation. + +High jinks commenced at the early hour of six; and long before that time +we had deposited our instruments in the Bazaar, as the ball-room is +somewhat incongruously called, and were threading the Dædalean mazes of +the wards. Life in the wards struck me as being very like living in a +passage; but when that preliminary objection was got over, the long +corridors looked comfortable enough. They were painted in bright warm +colours, and a correspondingly genial temperature was secured by +hot-water pipes running the entire length. Comfortable rooms opened out +from the wards at frequent intervals, and there was every form of +amusement to beguile the otherwise irksome leisure of those temporary +recluses. Most of my hermits were smoking--I mean on the male side--many +were reading; one had a fiddle, and I scraped acquaintance immediately +with him; whilst another was seated at the door of his snug little +bedroom, getting up cadenzas on the flute. He was an old +trombone-player in one of the household regiments, an inmate of Hanwell +for thirty years, and a fellow-bandsman with myself for the evening. He +looked, I thought, quite as sane as myself, and played magnificently; +but I was informed by the possibly prejudiced officials that he had his +occasional weaknesses. A second member of Herr Küster's band whom I +found in durance was a clarionet-player, formerly in the band of the +Second Life Guards; and this poor fellow, who was an excellent musician +too, felt his position acutely. He apologized sotto voce for sitting +down with me in corduroys, as well as for being an "imbecile." He did +not seem to question the justice of the verdict against him, and had not +become acclimatized to the atmosphere like the old trombone-player. + +That New Year's night--for January was very young--the wards, especially +on the women's side, were gaily decorated with paper flowers, and all +looked as cheerful and happy as though no shadow ever fell across the +threshold; but, alas, there were every now and then padded rooms opening +out of the passage; and as this was not a refractory ward, I asked the +meaning of the arrangement, which I had fancied was an obsolete one. I +was told they were for epileptic patients. In virtue of his official +position as bandmaster, Herr Küster had a key; and, after walking +serenely into a passage precisely like the rest, informed me, with the +utmost coolness, that I was in the refractory ward. I looked around for +the stalwart attendant, who is generally to be seen on duty, and to my +dismay found he was quite at the other end of an exceedingly long +corridor. I do not know that I am particularly nervous; but I candidly +confess to an anxiety to get near that worthy official. We were only +three outsiders, and the company looked mischievous. One gentleman was +walking violently up and down, turning up his coat-sleeves, as though +bent on our instant demolition. Another, an old grey-bearded man, came +up, and fiercely demanded if I were a Freemason. I was afraid he might +resent my saying I was not, when it happily occurred to me that the +third in our party, an amateur contra-bassist, was of the craft. I told +our old friend so. He demanded the sign, was satisfied, and, in the +twinkling of an eye, our double-bass friend was struggling in his +fraternal embrace. The warder, mistaking the character of the hug, +hastened to the rescue, and I was at ease. + +We then passed to the ball-room, where my musical friends were beginning +to "tune up," and waiting for their conductor. The large room was gaily +decorated, and filled with some three or four hundred patients, arranged +Spurgeon-wise: the ladies on one side, and the gentlemen on the other. +There was a somewhat rakish air about the gathering, due to the fact of +the male portion not being in full dress, but arrayed in free-and-easy +costume of corduroys and felt boots. The frequent warders in their dark +blue uniforms lent quite a military air to the scene; and on the ladies' +side the costumes were more picturesque; some little latitude was given +to feminine taste, and the result was that a large portion of the +patients were gorgeous in pink gowns. One old lady, who claimed to be a +scion of royalty, had a resplendent mob-cap; but the belles of the +ball-room were decidedly to be found among the female attendants, who +were bright, fresh-looking young women, in a neat, black uniform, with +perky little caps, and bunches of keys hanging at their side like the +rosary of a soeur de charité, or the chatelaines with which young ladies +love to adorn themselves at present. Files of patients kept streaming +into the already crowded room, and one gentleman, reversing the order +assigned to him by nature, walked gravely in on the palms of his hands, +with his legs elevated in air. He had been a clown at a theatre, and +still retained some of the proclivities of the boards. A wizen-faced +man, who seemed to have no name beyond the conventional one of "Billy," +strutted in with huge paper collars, like the corner man in a nigger +troupe, and a tin decoration on his breast the size of a cheeseplate. He +was insensible to the charms of Terpsichore, except in the shape of an +occasional pas seul, and laboured under the idea that his mission was to +conduct the band, which he occasionally did, to the discomfiture of +Herr Küster, and the total destruction of gravity on the part of the +executants, so that Billy had to be displaced. It was quite curious to +notice the effect of the music on some of the quieter patients. One or +two, whose countenances really seemed to justify their incarceration, +absolutely hugged the foot of my music-stand, and would not allow me to +hold my instrument for a moment when I was not playing on it, so anxious +were they to express their admiration of me as an artist. "I used to +play that instrument afore I come here," said a patient, with a squeaky +voice, who for eleven years has laboured under the idea that his mother +is coming to see him on the morrow; indeed, most of the little group +around the platform looked upon their temporary sojourn at Hanwell as +the only impediment to a bright career in the musical world. + +Proceedings commenced with the Caledonians, and it was marvellous to +notice the order, not to say grace and refinement with which these +pauper lunatics went through their parts in the "mazy." The rosy-faced +attendants formed partners for the men, and I saw a herculean warder +gallantly leading along the stout old lady in the mob-cap. The larger +number of the patients of course were paired with their +fellow-prisoners, and at the top of the room the officials danced with +some of the swells. Yes, there were swells here, ball-room coxcombs in +fustian and felt. One in particular was pointed out to me as an +University graduate of high family, and on my inquiring how such a man +became an inmate of a pauper asylum the official said, "You see, sir, +when the mind goes the income often goes too, and the people become +virtually paupers." Insanity is a great leveller, true; but I could not +help picturing that man's lucid intervals, and wondering whether his +friends might not do better for him. But there he is, pirouetting away +with the pretty female organist, the chaplain standing by and smiling +approval, and the young doctors doing the polite to a few invited +guests, but not disdaining, every now and then, to take a turn with a +patient. Quadrilles and Lancers follow, but no "round dances." A popular +prejudice on the part of the majority sets down such dances as too +exciting for the sensitive dancers. The graduate is excessively irate at +this, and rates the band soundly for not playing a valse. Galops are +played, but not danced; a complicated movement termed a "Circassian +circle" being substituted in their place. "Three hours of square dances +are really too absurd," said the graduate to an innocent second fiddle. + +In the centre of the room all was gravity and decorum, but the merriest +dances went on in corners. An Irish quadrille was played, and an +unmistakable Paddy regaled himself with a most beautiful jig. He got on +by himself for a figure or two, when, remembering, no doubt, that +"happiness was born a twin," he dived into the throng, selected a +white-headed old friend of some sixty years, and impressed him with the +idea of a pas de deux. There they kept it up in a corner for the whole +of the quadrille, twirling imaginary shillelaghs, and encouraging one +another with that expressive Irish interjection which it is so +impossible to put down on paper. For an hour all went merry as the +proverbial marriage bell, and then there was an adjournment of the male +portion of the company to supper. The ladies remained in the Bazaar and +discussed oranges, with an occasional dance to the pianoforte, as the +band retired for refreshment too, in one of the attendants' rooms. I +followed the company to their supper room, as I had come to see, not to +eat. About four hundred sat down in a large apartment, and there were, +besides, sundry snug supper-parties in smaller rooms. Each guest partook +of an excellent repast of meat and vegetables, with a sufficiency of +beer and pipes to follow. The chaplain said a short grace before supper, +and a patient, who must have been a retired Methodist preacher, improved +upon the brief benediction by a long rambling "asking of a blessing," to +which nobody paid any attention. Then I passed up and down the long rows +with a courteous official, who gave me little snatches of the history of +some of the patients. Here was an actor of some note in his day; there a +barrister; here again a clergyman; here a tradesman recently "gone," +"all through the strikes, sir," he added. The shadow--that most +mysterious shadow of all--had chequered life's sunshine in every one of +these cases. Being as they are they could not be in a better place. They +have the best advice they could get even were they--as some of them +claim to be--princes. If they can be cured, here is the best chance. If +not--well, there were the little dead-house and the quiet cemetery lying +out in the moonlight, and waiting for them when, as poor maddened Edgar +Allen Poe wrote, the "fever called living," should be "over at last." +But who talks of dying on this one night in all the year when even that +old freemason in the refractory ward was forgetting, after his own +peculiar fashion, the cruel injustice that kept him out of his twelve +thousand a year and title? Universal merriment is the rule to-night. Six +or seven gentlemen are on their legs at once making speeches, which are +listened to about as respectfully as the "toast of the evening" at a +public dinner. As many more are singing inharmoniously different songs; +the fun is getting fast and furious, perhaps a little too fast and +furious, when a readjournment to the ball-room is proposed, and readily +acceded to, one hoary-headed old flirt remarking to me as he went by, +that he was going to look for his sweetheart. + +A long series of square dances followed, the graduate waxing more and +more fierce at each disappointment in his anticipated valse, and Billy +giving out every change in the programme like a parish clerk, which +functionary he resembled in many respects. It was universally agreed +that this was the best party that had ever been held in the asylum, just +as the last baby is always the finest in the family. Certainly the +guests all enjoyed themselves. The stalwart attendants danced more than +ever with a will, the rosy attendants were rosier and nattier than +before, if possible. The mob-cap went whizzing about on the regal head +of its owner down the middle of tremendous country dances, hands across, +set to partners, and then down again as though it had never tasted the +anxieties of a throne, or learnt by bitter experience the sorrows of +exile. Even the academical gentleman relaxed to the fair organist, +though he stuck up his hair stiffer than ever, and stamped his felt +boots again as he passed the unoffending double-bass with curses both +loud and deep on the subject of square dances. At length came the +inevitable "God Save the Queen," which was played in one key by the +orchestra, and sung in a great many different ones by the guests. It is +no disrespect to Her Majesty to say that the National Anthem was +received with anything but satisfaction. It was the signal that the +"jinks" were over, and that was quite enough to make it unpopular. +However, they sang lustily and with a good courage, all except the old +woman in the mob-cap, who sat with a complacent smile as much as to say, +"This is as it should be, I appreciate the honour done to my royal +brothers and sisters." + +This is the bright side of the picture; but it had its sombre tints +also. There were those in all the wards who stood aloof from the +merriment, and would have none of the jinks. Lean-visaged men walked +moodily up and down the passages like caged wild beasts. Their lucid +interval was upon them, and they fretted at the irksome restraint and +degrading companionship. It was a strange thought; but I fancied they +must have longed for their mad fit as the drunkard longs for the +intoxicating draught, or the opium-eater for his delicious narcotic to +drown the idea of the present. There were those in the ball-room itself +who, if you approached them with the proffered pinch of snuff, drove you +from them with curses. One fine, intellectual man, sat by the window all +the evening, writing rhapsodies of the most extraordinary character, and +fancying himself a poet. Another wrapped round a thin piece of lath with +paper, and superscribed it with some strange hieroglyphics, begging me +to deliver it. All made arrangements for their speedy departure from +Hanwell, though many in that heart-sick tone which spoke of +long-deferred hope--hope never perhaps to be realized. Most painful +sight of all, there was one little girl there, a child of eleven or +twelve years--a child in a lunatic asylum! Think of that, parents, when +you listen to the engaging nonsense of your little ones--think of the +child in Hanwell wards! Remember how narrow a line separates innocence +from idiocy; so narrow a line that the words were once synonymous! + +Then there was the infirmary full of occupants on that merry New Year's +night. Yonder poor patient being wheeled in a chair to bed will not +trouble his attendant long. There is another being lifted on his +pallet-bed, and having a cup of cooling drink applied to his parched +lips by the great loving hands of a warder who tends him as gently as a +woman. It seemed almost a cruel kindness to be trying to keep that poor +body and soul together. + +Another hour, rapidly passed in the liberal hospitality of this great +institution, and silence had fallen on its congregated thousands. It is +a small town in itself, and to a large extent self-dependent and +self-governed. It bakes and brews, and makes its gas; and there is no +need of a Licensing Bill to keep its inhabitants sober and steady. The +method of doing that has been discovered in nature's own law of +kindness. Instead of being chained and treated as wild beasts, the +lunatics are treated as unfortunate men and women, and every effort is +made to ameliorate, both physically and morally, their sad condition. +Hence the bright wards, the buxom attendants, the frequent jinks. Even +the chapel-service has been brightened up for their behoof. + +This was what I saw by entering as an amateur fiddler Herr Küster's band +at Hanwell Asylum; and as I ran to catch the last up-train--which I did +as the saying is by the skin of my teeth--I felt that I was a wiser, +though it may be a sadder man, for my evening's experiences at the +Lunatic Ball. + +One question would keep recurring to my mind. It has been said that if +you stop your ears in a ball-room, and then look at the people--reputed +sane--skipping about in the new valse or the last galop, you will +imagine they must be all lunatics. I did not stop my ears that night, +but I opened my eyes and saw hundreds of my fellow-creatures, all with +some strange delusions, many with ferocious and vicious propensities, +yet all kept in order by a few warders, a handful of girls, and all +behaving as decorously as in a real ball-room. And the question which +_would_ haunt me all the way home was, which are the sane people, and +which the lunatics? + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +A BABY SHOW. + + +There is no doubt that at the present moment the British baby is +assuming a position amongst us of unusual prominence and importance. +That he should be an institution is inevitable. That he grows upon us +Londoners at the rate of some steady five hundred a week, the +Registrar-General's statistics of the excess of births over deaths prove +beyond question. His domestic importance and powers of revolutionizing a +household are facts of which every Paterfamilias is made, from time to +time, unpleasantly aware. But the British baby is doing more than this +just at present. He is assuming a public position. Perhaps it is only +the faint index of the extension of women's rights to the infantile +condition of the sexes. Possibly our age is destined to hear of Baby +Suffrage, Baby's Property Protection, Baby's Rights and Wrongs in +general. It is beyond question that the British baby _is_ putting itself +forward, and demanding to be heard--as, in fact, it always had a habit +of doing. Its name has been unpleasantly mixed up with certain +revelations at Brixton, Camberwell, and Greenwich. Babies have come to +be farmed like taxes or turnpike gates. The arable infants seem to +gravitate towards the transpontine districts south of the Thames. It +will be an interesting task for our Legislature to ascertain whether +there is any actual law to account for the transfer, as it inevitably +will have to do when the delicate choice is forced upon it between +justifiable infanticide, wholesale Hospices des Enfants Trouvés, and +possibly some kind of Japanese "happy despatch" for high-minded infants +who are superior to the slow poison administered by injudicious +"farmers." At all events, one fact is certain, and we can scarcely +reiterate it too often--the British baby is becoming emphatic beyond +anything we can recollect as appertaining to the infantile days of the +present generation. It is as though a ray of juvenile "swellishness," a +scintillation of hobbledehoyhood, were refracted upon the long clothes +or three-quarter clothes of immaturity. + +For, if it is true--as we may tax our infantile experiences to assure +us--that "farmed" infants were an article unknown to husbandry in our +golden age, it is equally certain that the idea of the modern Baby Show +was one which, in that remote era, would not have been tolerated. Our +mothers and grandmothers would as soon have thought of sacrificing an +innocent to Moloch as to Mammon. What meant it then--to what can it be +due--to precocity on the part of the British baby, or degeneracy on the +part of the British parent--that two Baby Shows were "on" nearly at the +same moment--one at Mr. Giovannelli's at Highbury Barn, the other at Mr. +Holland's Gardens, North Woolwich? + +Anxious to keep au courant with the times, even when those times are +chronicled by the rapid career of the British baby--anxious also to blot +out the idea of the poor emaciated infants of Brixton, Camberwell, and +Greenwich, by bringing home to my experience the opposite pole of +infantile development--I paid a visit, and sixpence, at Highbury Barn +when the Baby Show opened. On entering Mr. Giovannelli's spacious hall, +consecrated on ordinary occasions to the Terpsichorean art, I found it a +veritable shrine of the "Diva triformis." Immediately on entering I was +solicited to invest extra coppers in a correct card, containing the +names, weights, and--not colours; they were all of one colour, that of +the ordinary human lobster--but weights, of the various forms of +Wackford Squeers under twelve months, who were then and there assembled, +like a lot of little fat porkers. It was, in truth, a sight to whet the +appetite of an "annexed" Fiji Islander, or any other carnivorous animal. +My correct card specified eighty "entries;" but, although the exhibition +only opened at two o'clock, and I was there within an hour after, I +found the numbers up to 100 quite full. The interesting juveniles were +arranged within rails, draped with pink calico, all arrayed in "gorgeous +attire," and most of them partaking of maternal sustenance. The +mammas--all respectable married women of the working class--seemed to +consider the exhibition of their offspring by no means infra dig., and +were rather pleased than otherwise to show you the legs and other points +of their adipose encumbrances. Several proposed that I should test the +weight, which I did tremulously, and felt relieved when the infant +Hercules was restored to its natural protector. The prizes, which +amounted in the gross to between two and three hundred pounds, were to +be awarded in sums of _10l._ and _5l._, and sometimes in the shape of +silver cups, on what principle I am not quite clear; but the decision +was to rest with a jury of three medical men and two "matrons." If +simple adiposity, or the approximation of the human form divine to that +of the hippopotamus, be the standard of excellence, there could be no +doubt that a young gentleman named Thomas Chaloner, numbered 48 in the +correct card, aged eight months, and weighing 33lbs., would be facile +princeps, a prognostication of mine subsequently justified by the event. +I must confess to looking with awe, and returning every now and then to +look again, on this colossal child. At my last visit some one asked on +what it had been fed. Shall I own that the demon of mischief prompted me +to supplement the inquiry by adding, "Oil cake, _or_ Thorley's Food for +Cattle?" + +On the score, I suppose, of mere peculiarity, my own attention--I +frankly confess I am not a connoisseur--was considerably engrossed by +"two little Niggers." No doubt the number afterwards swelled to the +orthodox "ten little Niggers." One was a jovial young "cuss" of eleven +months--weighted at 29lbs., and numbered 62 on the card. He was a +clean-limbed young fellow, with a head of hair like a furze-bush, and +his mother was quite untinted. I presume Paterfamilias was a fine +coloured gentleman. The other representative of the sons of Ham--John +Charles Abdula, aged three months, weight 21lbs., and numbered 76--was +too immature to draw upon my sympathies; since I freely acknowledge such +specimens are utterly devoid of interest for me until their bones are of +sufficient consistency to enable them to sit upright and look about as a +British baby should. This particular infant had not an idea above +culinary considerations. He was a very Alderman in embryo, if there are +such things as coloured Aldermen. Then there were twins--that +inscrutable visitation of Providence--three brace of gemini. Triplets, +in mercy to our paternal feelings, Mr. Giovannelli spared us. + +There was one noteworthy point about this particular exhibition. The +mothers, at all events, got a good four days' feed whilst their +infantile furniture was "on view." I heard, sotto voce, encomiums on the +dinner of the day confidingly exchanged between gushing young matrons, +and I myself witnessed the disappearance of a decidedly comfortable tea, +to say nothing of sundry pints of porter discussed sub rosâ and free of +expense to such as stood in need of sustenance; and indeed a good many +seemed to stand in need of it. Small wonder, when the mammas were so +forcibly reminded by the highly-developed British baby that, in Byron's +own words, "our life is twofold." + +It is certainly passing, not from the sublime to the ridiculous, but +vice versâ, yet it is noting another testimony to the growing importance +of the British baby, if one mentions the growth of crèches, or +day-nurseries for working-men's children in the metropolis. Already an +institution in Paris, they have been recently introduced into England, +and must surely prove a boon to the wives of our working men. What in +the world does become of the infants of poor women who are forced to +work all day for their maintenance? Is it not a miracle if something +almost worse than "farming"--death from negligence, fire, or bad +nursing--does not occur to them? The good ladies who have founded, and +themselves work, these crèches are surely meeting a confessed necessity. +I paid a visit one day to 4, Bulstrode Street, where one of these useful +institutions was in full work. I found forty little toddlers, some +playing about a comfortable day-nursery, others sleeping in tiny cribs +ranged in a double line along a spacious, well-aired sleeping-room; +some, too young for this, rocked in cosy cradles; but all clean, safe, +and happy. What needs it to say whether the good ladies who tended them +wore the habit of St. Vincent de Paul, the poke-bonnet of the Puseyite +"sister," or the simple garb of unpretending Protestantism? The thing is +being done. The most helpless of all our population--the children of the +working poor--are being kept from the streets, kept from harm, and +trained up to habits of decency, at 4, Bulstrode Street, Marylebone +Lane. Any one can go and see it for himself; and if he does--if he sees, +as I did, the quiet, unostentatious work that is there being done for +the British baby, "all for love and nothing for reward"--I shall be very +much surprised if he does not confess that it is one of the best +antidotes imaginable to baby-farming, and a sight more decorous and +dignified than any Baby Show that could possibly be imagined. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +A NIGHT IN A BAKEHOUSE. + + +Alarmed at the prospect of "a free breakfast table" in a sense other +than the ordinary one--that is, a breakfast table which should be minus +the necessary accompaniment of bread, or the luxury of French rolls--I +resolved to make myself master, so far as might be possible, of the pros +and cons of the question at issue between bakers and masters at the +period of the anticipated strike some years ago. I confess to having +greatly neglected the subject of strikes. I had attended a few meetings +of the building operatives; but the subject was one in which I myself +was not personally interested. I am not likely to want to build a house, +and might manage my own little repairs while the strike lasted. But I +confess to a leaning for the staff of life. There are sundry small +mouths around me, too, of quite disproportionate capacities in the way +of bread and butter, to say nothing at all of biscuits, buns, and +tartlets. The possibility of having to provide for an impending state of +siege, then, was one that touched me immediately and vitally. Should I, +before the dreaded event, initiate the wife of my bosom in the +mysteries of bread baking? Should I commence forthwith a series of +practical experiments within the limited confines of my kitchen oven? To +prevent the otherwise inevitable heaviness and possible ropiness in my +loaves of the future, some such previous process would certainly have to +be adopted. But, then, in order to calculate the probabilities of the +crisis, an examination of the status in quo was necessary. Having a +habit of going to head-quarters in such questions, I resolved to do so +on the present occasion; so I took my hat, and, as Sam Slick says, "I +off an' out." + +The actual head-quarters of the men I found to be at the Pewter Platter, +White Lion Street, Bishopsgate. Thither I adjourned, and, after drinking +the conventional glass of bitter at the bar, asked for a baker. One came +forth from an inner chamber, looking sleepy, as bakers always look. In +the penetralia of the parlour which he left I saw a group of floury +comrades, the prominent features of the gathering being depression and +bagatelle. By my comatose friend I was referred to the Admiral Carter, +in Bartholomew Close, where the men's committee sat daily at four. The +society in front of the bar there was much more cheerful than that of +the Pewter Platter, and the bakers were discussing much beer, of which +they hospitably invited me to partake. Still I learned little of their +movements, save that they were to a man resolved to abide by the now +familiar platform of work from four to four, higher wages, and no Sunday +bakings. These were the principal features of the demands, the sack +money and perquisites being confessedly subsidiary. Nauseated as the +public was and is with strikes, there are certain classes of the +community with whom it is disposed to sympathize; and certainly one of +those classes is that of journeymen bakers. Bread for breakfast we must +have, and rolls we should like; but we should also like to have these +commodities with as little nightwork as possible on the part of those +who produce them. The "Appeal to the Public" put forth by the Strike +Committee on the evening of the day concerning which I write was, +perhaps, a trifle sensational; but if there was any truth in it, such a +state of things demanded careful investigation--especially if it was a +fact that the baker slept upon the board where the bread was made, and +mingled his sweat and tears with the ingredients of the staff of life. +Pardonably, I hope, I wished to eat bread without baker for my +breakfast; but how could I probe this dreadful problem? I had it--by a +visit to the bakehouse of my own baker, if possible, during the hours of +work. + +So I set out afresh after supper, and was most obligingly received by +the proprietor of what one may well take as a typical West-end +shop--neither very large nor very small--what is graphically termed a +"snug" concern with a good connexion, doing, as the technical phrase +goes, from sixteen to twenty sacks a week. The resources of this +establishment were at once placed at my disposal for the night. Now, the +advantage of conferring with this particular master was, that he was not +pig-headed on the one hand, nor unduly concessive, as he deemed some of +his fellow-tradesmen to be, on the other. He did not consider a +journeyman baker's berth a bed of roses, or his remuneration likely to +make him a millionaire; but neither did he lose sight of the fact that +certain hours must be devoted to work, and a limit somewhere placed to +wage, or the public must suffer through the employer of labour by being +forced to pay higher prices. The staff of this particular establishment +consisted of four men at the following wages: A foreman at _28s._ and a +second hand at _20s._ a week, both of whom were outsiders; while, +sleeping on the premises, and, at the time of my arrival, buried in the +arms of Morpheus, were a third hand, at _16s._, and a fourth, at _12s._ +Besides these wages they had certain perquisites, such as bread, butter, +sugar, flour, sack-money, yeast-money, &c.; and the master, moreover, +took his adequate share of day-work. He was seated outside his shop, +enjoying the cool breezes, not of evening, but of midnight, when I +presented myself before his astonished gaze. His wife and children had +long since retired. The foreman and second "hand" had not arrived; the +third and fourth "hands" were, as I said, sweetly sleeping, in a chamber +on the basement, well out of range of the bakehouse, to which, like a +couple of conspirators, we descended. It was not exactly the spot one +would have selected for a permanent residence if left free to choose. It +was, perhaps, as Mr. Dickens's theatrical gentleman phrased it, +pernicious snug; but the ventilation was satisfactory. There were two +ovens, which certainly kept the place at a temperature higher than might +have been agreeable on that hot September night. Kneading troughs were +ranged round the walls, and in the centre, like an altar-tomb, was the +fatal "board" where, however, I sought in vain for the traces of +perspiration or tears. All was scrupulously clean. In common phrase, you +might have "eaten your dinner" off any portion of it. + +Soon after midnight the outsiders turned in, first the second hand and +then the foreman, and, plunging into the "Black Hole," made their +toilettes du soir. Then active operations commenced forthwith. In one +compartment of the kneading-trough was the "sponge," which had been +prepared by the foreman early in the evening, and which now, having +properly settled, was mixed with the flour for the first batch, and left +to "prove." The process of making the dough occupied until about one +o'clock, and then followed two hours of comparative tranquillity, +during which the men adjourned to the retirement of certain millers' +sacks hard by, which they rolled up cleverly into extempore beds, and +seemed to prefer to the board. The proving takes about two hours, but +varies with the temperature. If the dough is left too long, a sour +batch, or a "pitch in," is the result. It is then cut out, weighed, and +"handed up;" after which it stands while the dough for the second batch +is being made, and those fatal rolls, around which so much of this +contest is likely to turn, are being got forward. It must be understood +that I am here describing what took place in my typical bakehouse. +Proceedings will of course vary in details according to the +neighbourhood, the season, and other circumstances. This makes, as my +informant suggested, the race of bakers necessarily in some degree a +varium atque mutabile genus, whom it is difficult to bind by rigid "hard +and fast" lines. The first batch is in the oven at four, and is drawn +about 5.30. During the intervals there has been the preparation of fancy +bread and the "getting off" of the rolls. Then the "cottage" batch is +moulded and got off, and comes out of the oven at eight. From three +o'clock up to this hour there has been active work enough for everybody, +and I felt myself considerably in the way, adjourning ever and anon to +the master's snuggery above stairs to note down my experiences. As for +the men, they must have fancied that I was an escaped lunatic, with +harmless eccentricities; and the fourth hand, who was young, gazed at me +all night with a fixed and sleepy glare, as though on his guard lest I +should be seized with a refractory fit. At eight the close atmosphere of +the bakehouse was exchanged for the fresh morning breeze by three out of +the four hands, who went to deliver the bread. The foreman remained with +the master to work at "small goods" until about one, when he prepares +the ferment for the next night's baking. All concerned can get their +operations over about one or half-past one; so that, reckoning them to +begin at half-past twelve, and deducting two hours of "sweat and tears" +from one to three, when they can sleep if they will, there are some +eleven hours of active labour. After the delivery of the bread is over, +it should be mentioned, each man has about half an hour's bakehouse work +in the way of getting coals, cleaning biscuit tins, brushing up, &c. +When this is done, all, with the exception of the foreman, who will have +to look in and make the sponge at eight P.M., are free until the +commencement of their most untimely work at midnight. + +On Sunday, the work in this particular bakehouse is comparatively nil. +The ovens have to be started on Sunday morning; but this the master does +himself, and puts in the ferment, so that there is only the sponge to +be made in the evening--a brief hour's job, taken on alternate Sundays +by the foreman and the second hand. The "undersellers," my informant +told me, made large sums by Sunday bakings, often covering their rent by +them, so that their abandonment would be a serious question; but there +was little in the way of Sabbath-breaking in my typical bakehouse. As +there were no Sunday bakings, Saturday was a rather harder day than +others, there being a general scrub-up of the premises. The work, my +informant thought, could be condensed by judicious co-operation, and the +"four to four" rule might be adopted in some establishments, but by no +means in all--as, for instance, where there was a speciality for rolls +and fancy bread. It seems, as usual, that the difficulties thicken, not +about the necessaries, but about the luxuries and kickshaws of life. The +master relieved my immediate fears by saying that he scarcely imagined +matters would come to a crisis. There was this difference between the +building and the baking trades, that all the master bakers had been +journeymen themselves, and were thus able to sympathize with the men's +difficulties. They were not, he seemed to think, disposed to haggle over +a few shillings; but he added, "This is not a question of labour against +capital only, but of labour against capital plus labour. I could," he +said, "if my men left me on the 21st, make bread enough myself to +supply all my customers, only they would have to fetch it for +themselves." + +Thus my worst fears were relieved. If it only came to going out for my +loaf, and even foregoing French rolls, I could face that like a man; so +I paced the streets gaily in the morning air and arrived home safely +some time after the milk, and about the same hour as those rolls +themselves whose hitherto unguessed history I had so far fathomed by my +brief experiences in the bakehouse. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +A LONDON SLAVE MARKET. + + +There is a story called "Travellers' Wonders" in that volume which used +to be the delight of our childhood, when the rising generation was more +easily amused and not quite so wide-awake as at present. The point of +the narrative is, that a facetious old gentleman named Captain Compass +beguiles a group of juveniles--who must have been singularly gullible +even for those early days--by describing in mysterious and +alien-sounding terms the commonest home objects, such as coals, cheese, +butter, and so on. It would almost seem as though Hood must have been +perpetrating a kindred joke upon grown-up children when he wrote the +lines-- + + It's O to be a slave + Along with the barbarous Turk, + Where woman has never a soul to save, + If this is Christian Work! + +Was he aware that here, in the heart of Christian London, without going +farther east than Bethnal Green, there had existed from time immemorial, +as there exists still, a genuine Slave Market? Such there is, and +actually so named; less romantic, indeed, than that we read of in "Don +Juan," or used to see on the Adelphi boards in the drama of the +"Octoroon"--but still interesting in its way to those who have a +penchant for that grotesque side of London life where the sublime and +the ridiculous sometimes blend so curiously. + +With only the vague address of Bethnal Green and the date of Tuesday +morning to guide me, I set out for Worship Street Police Court, thinking +it possible to gain some further particulars from the police. I found +those functionaries civil, indeed, but disposed to observe even more +than official reticence about the Slave Market. They told me the +locality precisely enough, but were even more vague as to the hour than +my own impressions. In fact, the sum of what I could gain from them was, +in slightly Hibernian language, that there was nothing to see, and I +could see it any time on a Tuesday morning when I chose to go down White +Street, Bethnal Green. Leaving the Court and inquiring my route to White +Street, I found that it ran off to the right some way down the Bethnal +Green Road from Shoreditch Station. Having turned out of the main +thoroughfare, you proceed down one of those characteristic East End +streets where every small householder lives behind an elaborate bright +green door with portentous knocker, going on until an arch of the Great +Eastern Railway spans the road. Arriving at this point any time between +the hours of eight and half-past nine on a Monday or Tuesday morning, +you have no need to be told that this is the East London Slave +Market--supposing you knew such a thing as a slave market was to be seen +in East London at all. + +There was, indeed, nothing resembling Byron's graphic description in +"Don Juan." Our English slaves were all apparently of one nation, and +there were no slave merchants. The hundred young ladies and gentlemen, +of all ages from seven to seventeen, were, as they would have expressed +it, "on their own hook." Ranged under the dead brick wall of the railway +arch, there was a generally mouldy appearance about them. Instead of a +picturesque difference of colour, there was on every visage simply a +greater or less degree of that peculiar neutral tint, the unmistakable +unlovely hue of London dirt. In this respect, too, they differed from +the fresh country lads and lasses one sees at a hiring in the North. +They were simply male and female City Arabs, with that superabundant +power of combining business and pleasure which characterizes their race. +The young gentlemen, in the intervals of business--and it seemed to be +all interval and no business--devoted themselves to games at buttons. +Each of the young ladies--I am afraid to say _how_ young--had her +cavalier, and applied herself to very pronounced flirtation. The +language of one and all certainly fulfilled the baptismal promise of +their sponsors, if the poor little waifs ever had any--for it was very +"vulgar tongue" indeed; and there was lots of it. The great sensation +of the morning was a broken window in an unoffending tradesman's shop--a +far from unusual occurrence, as I learnt from the sufferer. This led to +a slave hunt on the part of the single policeman who occasionally showed +himself to keep as quiet as might be the seething mass of humanity; and +the young lady or gentleman who was guilty of the damage was "off +market" for the morning--while the suffering tradesman was assailed with +a volley of abuse, couched in strongest Saxon, for meekly protesting +against the demolition of his window-pane. + +The scene was most characteristic--very unlike the genteel West End +Servants' Registry, where young ladies and gentlemen's gentlemen saunter +in to find places with high wages and the work "put out." It was on +Tuesday morning, and a little late in the day, that I timed my visit; +and I was informed that the Market was somewhat flat. Certainly, one +could not apply to it the technicalities of the Stock Exchange, and say +that little boys were "dull," or girls, big or little, "inactive;" but +early on a Monday morning is, it appears, the time to see the Slave +Market in full swing. Strangely enough, so far as I could judge, it was +all slaves and no buyers--or, rather, hirers. I did not see the symptom +of a bargain being struck, though I was informed that a good many small +tradesmen do patronize the Market, for shop-boys, nurse-girls, or +household drudges. I do not know whether my appearance was particularly +attractive; but the number of offers I received from domestics of all +kinds would have sufficed to stock half-a-dozen establishments. "Want a +boy, sir?" "A girl for the childer, sir?" said the juveniles, while the +offers of the adult ladies were more emphatic and less quotable. All, of +course, was mere badinage, or, as they would have called it, "chaff," +and it was meant good-humouredly enough; though, had I been a legitimate +hirer, I do not know that I should have been tempted to add to my +household from this source. Indeed, there were some not exactly pleasant +reflections cast on the Slave Market by those whom I consulted as to its +merits. It was not unusual, I was told, for slaves who were hired on a +Monday to turn up again on Tuesday morning, either from incompatibility +of temper on the part of domestic and superior, or from other causes +unexplained. Tuesday morning is, in fact, to a large extent, the mere +residuum either of Monday's unhired incapables, or of "returns." And +yet, as I looked around, I saw--as where does one not see?--some fair +young faces; girls who might have played with one's little children all +the better because they were so nearly children themselves; and boys of +preternatural quickness, up to any job, and capable of being useful--ay, +and even ornamental--members of society, if only that dreadful Bethnal +Green twang could have been eradicated. The abuse of the mother tongue +on the part even of these children was simply frightful. If this were so +in their playful moods, what--one could not help thinking--would it be +if any dispute arose on a contested point of domestic economy: as, for +instance, the too rapid disappearance of the cold mutton, or sudden +absence of master's boots? + +There was a garrulous cobbler whose stall bordered on the Market, and +his panacea for all the evils the Slave Market brought with it was the +London School Board. "Why don't the officers come down and collar some +o' them youngsters, sir?" Why, indeed? At present the Slave Market is +undoubtedly a nuisance; but there is no reason why, under proper police +supervision, it should not become a local convenience. The ways of East +London differ in all respects from those of the West, and Servants' +Registries would not pay. Masters and servants are alike too poor to +advertise; and there seems to be no reason why the Slave Market, under a +changed name, and with improved regulations, may not as really supply a +want as the country "hirings" do. The Arab, at present, is not to be +trusted with too much liberty. Both male and female have odd Bedouin +ways of their own, requiring considerable and judicious manipulation to +mould them to the customs of civilized society. The respectable +residents, tired of the existing state of things, look not unreasonably, +as ratepayers, to the School Board to thin down the children, and the +police to keep the adults in order. Under such conditions, the Bethnal +Green Slave Market may yet become a useful institution. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +TEA AND EXPERIENCE. + + +I was walking the other day in one of the pleasant western suburbs, and +rashly sought a short cut back; when, as is generally the case, I found +that the longer would have been much the nearer way home. Before I knew +it, I was involved in the labyrinths of that region, sacred to +washerwomen and kindred spirits, known as Kensal New Town; and my +further progress was barred by the intervention of the Paddington Canal, +which is spanned at rare intervals in this locality by pay-bridges, to +the great discomfort of the often impecunious natives. There was not +even one of these at hand, or my halfpenny would have been paid under +protest; so I had to wander like a lost sprite among the network of +semi-genteel streets that skirt that most ungenteel thoroughfare, the +Kensal New Town Road, and forthwith I began to find the neighbourhood +papered with placards, announcing a "Tea and Experience Meeting" at a +local hall, under the presidency of the Free Church pastor, for the +following Monday evening. Bakers' shops bristled with the handbills, and +they studded the multitudinous pork butchers' windows in juxtaposition +with cruel-looking black puddings and over-fat loin chops. I determined +I would go, if not to the tea, certainly to the "Experience," for I like +novel experiences of all kinds: and this would certainly be new, whether +edifying or not. + +I got at length out of the labyrinth, and on the following Monday +ventured once more within its mazes, though not exactly at six o'clock, +which was the hour appointed for the preliminary experience of tea. I +had experienced that kind of thing once or twice before, and never found +myself in a position of such difficulty as on those occasions. In the +first place I do not care about tea, when it is good; but loathe it when +boiled in a washhouse copper, and poured out from a large tin can, of +which it tastes unpleasantly. But, then again, the quantity as well as +the quality of the viands to be consumed was literally too much for me. +I might have managed one cup of decidedly nasty tea, or what passes +muster for such, but not four or five, which I found to be the minimum. +I could stomach, or secretly dispose of in my pockets, a single slice of +leaden cake or oleaginous bread-and-butter; but I could not do this with +multitudinous slabs of either. I never went to more than one tea-meeting +where I felt at home, and that was at the Soirée Suisse, which takes +place annually in London, where pretty Helvetian damsels brew the most +fragrant coffee and hand round delicious little cakes, arrayed as they +are in their killing national costume and chattering in a dozen +different patois. I had a notion that tea at Kensal New Town would be +very much less eligible, so I stopped away. Perhaps I was prejudiced. +The tea might have been different from what I expected. The experiences +certainly were. + +I got there about half-past seven, having allowed an interval of an hour +and a half, which I thought would be sufficient for the most inveterate +tea-drinker, even among the Kensal Town laundresses, should such happen +to be present. I took the precaution, however, of bespeaking a lad of +fifteen to accompany me, in case any of the fragments of the feast +should yet have to be disposed of, since I knew his powers to equal +those of the ostrich in stowing away eatables, especially in the lumpy +cake line. Arrived at the hall, however, I found no symptoms of the tea +save a steamy sort of smell and the rattle of the retreating cups and +saucers. Whether "to my spirit's gain or loss," I had escaped the +banquet and yet got in good time for the subsequent experiences. + +A motherly-looking woman stood at the door, and gave me a cheery +invitation to come in. She looked rather askance at my boy, but finding +him properly convoyed by my sober self, she admitted him within the +portal. A good many young gentlemen of a similar age were evidently +excluded, and were regaling themselves with pagan sports outside. The +hall was partially filled with respectable-looking mechanics, their +wives, and families, there being more wives than mechanics, and more +families than either. Children abounded, especially babies in every +stage of infantile development. Many were taking their maternal tea; and +the boys and girls were got up in the most festive attire, the boys +particularly shining with yellow soap. Most of the mammas wore perky +hats, and many had follow-me-lads down the back, but all were +exceedingly well-dressed and well-behaved, though evidently brimful of +hilarity as well as cake and tea. + +At the end of the hall was the inevitable platform, with chairs and a +large cushion spread over the front rail for convenience of praying; +since the "experiences" were to be interspersed with sacred song and +prayer. Two gentlemen--I use the term advisedly--mounted the rostrum, +one a long-bearded, middle-aged man, in a frock coat, who was the +pastor, and another an aged minister, superannuated, as I afterwards +discovered, and not altogether happy in his worldly lot. He was very +old, grey-haired, and feeble, with a worn suit of clerical black, and a +voluminous white tie. He sat humbly, almost despondingly, by the side of +his younger brother in the ministry, while the latter delivered a merry +little opening address, hoping all had made a good tea; if not, there +was still about half a can left. Nobody wanted any more; so they had a +hymn from the "Sacred Songster," a copy of which volume I purchased in +the hall for twopence halfpenny. The tune was a martial one, well sung +by a choir of men and women to the accompaniment of a harmonium, and +bravely borne part in, you may depend upon it, by the whole assembly, I +verily believe, except the babies, and one or two of these put in a note +sometimes. The hymn was called, "Oh, we are Volunteers!" and was very +Church-militant indeed, beginning thus:-- + + Oh, we are volunteers in the army of the Lord, + Forming into line at our Captain's word; + We are under marching orders to take the battle-field, + And we'll ne'er give o'er the fight till the foe shall yield. + +Then came the chorus, repeated after every verse:-- + + Come and join the army, the army of the Lord, + Jesus is our Captain, we rally at His word: + Sharp will be the conflict with the powers of sin, + But with such a leader we are sure to win. + +The poor old minister offered up a short prayer. The pastor read the 1st +Corinthians, chapter 13, and explained briefly what charity meant there; +adding that this gathering was very like one of the Agapæ of the early +Christians--a remark I had not expected to hear in that assembly. Then +there was another hymn, "Beautiful Land of Rest," when it did one good +to hear the unction with which the second syllable of the refrain was +given:-- + + Jerusalem, Jerusalem, + Beautiful land of rest. + +After this the "Experiences" commenced in real earnest. Brothers and +Sisters were exhorted to lay aside shyness and mount the platform. Of +course no one would do so at first; and the poor shaky old minister had +to come to the rescue. + +He told us, at rather too great length, the simple story of his +life--how he was a farmer's son, and had several brothers "besides +himself." He had to learn verses of the Bible for his father, which used +to go against the grain, until at last, instead of being "a wicked boy," +he took up religion on his own account. He began to be afraid that, if +he died, he should go to "a bad place," and therefore started saying his +prayers. His brother George used to push him over when he was praying +half-dressed in the bedroom, or occasionally vary proceedings by +stirring him up with a sweeping brush. At last he found out a quiet +place under a haystack, and there retired to pray. The old man drew a +perfect picture of the first prayer thus offered, and told us he could +remember every little detail of the spot, and the great oak tree +spreading its branches over it. "Here I am," he said, "a poor old +pilgrim on the bright side of seventy now, and yet I can remember it +all. I say the 'bright' side, for I know it is a bright home I am soon +going to." Then he told us how God took his wife from him and all his +worldly goods, and he was quite eloquent about the comfort his religion +was to him now as he went to his little lonely lodging. He drew next too +truthful a picture of the state of things he saw around him in Kensal +New Town--mothers with infants in their arms crowding the tavern doors; +and finished up with a story, of which he did not see the irrelevancy, +about a fine lady going to the "theatre," and saying how much she had +enjoyed the anticipation, then the play itself, and, lastly, the thought +of it afterwards. She was overheard by a faithful pastor, who told her +she had omitted one detail. "No," she said, "I have told you all." "You +have told us how you enjoyed the thoughts of the theatre, and the +performance, and the recollection of it afterwards; but you have not +told us how you will enjoy the thoughts of it on your death-bed." Of +course the "fine lady" was converted on the spot, as they always are in +tracts; and the good old fellow brought his long-winded narrative of +experiences to an end by-and-by, the pastor having omitted to pull his +coat-tails, as he promised to do if any speaker exceeded the allotted +time. "The people were certainly very attentive to hear him," and one +man next my boy expressed his satisfaction by letting off little groans, +like minute guns, at frequent intervals. + +Then another hymn was sung, "The Beautiful Land on High," which, by the +way, is a favourite with the spiritualists at their "Face Séances." I +half expected to see a ghostly-looking visage peep out of some corner +cupboard, as I had often done with my spiritual friends--that being +another experience which I cultivate with considerable interest and +curiosity. The hymn being over, a black-bearded, but soft-voiced man, in +a velveteen coat, got upon the platform, and told us how the chief +delight of his life was at one time making dogs fight. When the animals +were not sufficiently pugnacious of themselves, his habit was to +construct an apparatus, consisting of a pin at the end of a stick, and +so urge them to the combat, until it proved fatal to one of them. It +was, he said, dreadful work; and he now considered it the direct +machination of Satan. Another favourite pursuit was interrupting the +proceedings of open-air missionaries. One day after he had done so, he +went home with a companion who had taken a tract from one of the +missionaries. He had a quarrel with his "missis." "Not that missis +sittin' there," he said, alluding to a smart lady in front, "but my +first missis." In order to show his sulks against his missis, he took to +reading the tract, and it soon made him cry. Then he went to chapel and +heard a sermon on Lot's wife being turned into a pillar of salt. He was +a little exercised by this, and saw the minister in the vestry, but soon +fell back into bad habits again, singing canaries for _10s. 6d._ a side. +As he was taking his bird out one Sunday morning, the bottom of the cage +came out, and the canary escaped. This he looked upon as "God's work," +since it caused him to go to chapel that morning. His conversion soon +followed, and he applied to that circumstance, in a very apposite +manner, the Parable of the Prodigal, concluding with a stanza from the +well-known hymn-- + + God moves in a mysterious way + His wonders to perform. + +Another moustached man followed. He was exceedingly well-dressed, +though he told us he was only a common labourer. He had long given up +his "'art" to God, but to little purpose until he came to this chapel. +"But there," he said, "down in that corner under the gas-lamp, I prayed +for the first time. I prayed that God would take away my stony 'art and +give me a 'art of flesh, and renew a right sperrit within me." From that +time he led a new life. His fellow-workmen began to sneer at the change, +and said ironically they should take to going to chapel too. "I wish to +God you would," was his reply. He described the personal influence of +the pastor upon him, which strengthened the good resolutions he had +formed, and enabled him to say, "I will not let Thee go." + +I could not help thinking, as I listened to the simple, earnest words of +the speaker, that here was an element the National Church is too apt to +ignore. The Roman Catholic Church would seize hold upon that man, and +put him in a working men's guild or confraternity. The Free Church found +him work to do, and gave him a chief seat in the synagogue, and an +opportunity of airing his "experiences" on a platform. Surely better +either one or the other, than sotting his life at a public-house, or +turning tap-room orator. He ended by crying shame upon himself for +having put off the change until so late in life, and added a wish that +all the labouring classes could see, as he had been brought to see, +where their chief interest as well as happiness lay. + +A tall man from the choir followed, and was considerably more +self-possessed than the other two speakers. He told us at the outset +that he had been "a Christian" for fourteen years. It was generally laid +down as a rule, he said, that big men were good-tempered. He was not a +small man; but until he gave his heart to God he was never +good-tempered. He had, for thirty-two years, been brought up in the +Church of England, but had found no conversion there. He had no wish to +speak against the Church, but such was the case. He wandered about a +good deal in those years, from Roman Catholic to Old Methodist chapels; +but the latter settled him. He was attending a class meeting in Kensal +New Town one night, and suddenly a determination came over him that he +would not sleep that night until he had kneeled down and prayed with his +wife, though it would be the first time he had done so for thirty-two +years. When it came to bedtime his courage failed him. He could not get +into bed; and he did not like to tell his wife why. "That," he said, +"was the devil worritin' me." His wife said, "I know what's the matter +with you. You want to pray. We will see what we can do." His wife, he +told us, was "unconverted," but still she "throwed open the door" on +that occasion. He never knew happiness, he said, until he came to Jesus; +and he added, "Oh, I do love my Jesus." He often talked to his +fellow-workmen about the state of their souls, and they asked him how +it was he was so certain of being converted (a question I fancy others +than they would like to have solved), and he answered them, "I feel it. +I was uncomfortable before; and now I am happy. I don't wonder so much +at the old martyrs going boldly up to the stake, because I feel I could +do anything rather than give up my Jesus." + +Hereupon the pastor, anticipating the departure of some of the +assembly--for the clock was pointing to ten--announced a Temperance +Meeting for the following Monday, and also said he should like the +congregation to get up these meetings entirely on their own account, +without any "clerical" element at all, and to make the Tea Meeting a +"Free and Easy" in the best sense of the word. + +I went--shall I confess it?--to the experience meeting rather inclined +to scoff, and I stopped, if not altogether to pray, at least to think +very seriously of the value of the instrumentality thus brought to +bear on such intractable material as the Kensal New Town population. +The more cumbrous, even if more perfect or polished, machinery of the +Established Church has notoriously failed for a long time to affect +such raw material; and if it is beginning to succeed it is really by +"taking a leaf out of the book" of such pastors as the one whose +Tea-and-Experience Meeting I had attended. "Palmam qui meruit ferat." + +Stiggins element, I must, in all justice, say there was none. The pastor +was a simple but a refined and gentlemanly man; so was the poor broken +old minister. There was no symptom of raving or rant; no vulgarity or +bad taste. A gathering at a deanery or an episcopal palace could not +have been more decorous, and I doubt if the hymns would have been sung +as heartily. There was as little clerical starch as there was of the +opposite element. Rubbing off the angles of character was one of the +objects actually proposed by the pastor as the result of these +gatherings; and I really felt as though a corner or two had gone out of +my constitution. If a man is disposed to be priggish, or a lady +exclusive, in religious matters, I would recommend the one or the other +to avail themselves of the next opportunity to attend a +Tea-and-Experience Meeting at Kensal New Town. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +SUNDAY LINNET-SINGING. + + +There is something very Arcadian and un-Cockney-like in the idea of +linnet-singing in Lock's Fields. Imagination pictures so readily the +green pastures and the wild bird's song, and Corydon with his pipe and +his Phyllis, that it seems a pity to disabuse that exquisite faculty of +our nature so far as to suggest that the linnets of which we speak are +not wild, but tame and caged, and the fields very much less rural than +those of Lincoln's Inn. This was the announcement that drew me to the +New Kent Road on a recent Sunday morning to hear what poor Cockney Keats +called the "tender-legged linnets:" "Bird-singing.--A match is made +between Thomas Walker (the Bermondsey Champion) and William Hart +(Champion of Walworth) to sing two linnets, on Sunday, for _2l._ a side; +birds to be on the nail precisely at two o'clock; the host to be +referee. _10s._ is now down; the remainder by nine this evening, at the +Jolly Butchers, Rodney Road, Lock's Fields. Also a copper kettle will be +sung for on the same day by six pairs of linnets; first pair up at +half-past six o'clock in the evening. Any person requiring the said +room for matches, &c., on making application to the host, will +immediately be answered." + +Rodney Road, be it known, is anything but a romantic thoroughfare, +leading out of the New Kent Road, a little way from the Elephant and +Castle; and the caravanserai bearing the title of the Jolly Butchers is +an unpretending beershop, with no outward and visible signs of especial +joviality. On entering I met mine host, rubicund and jolly enough, who +politely pioneered me upstairs, when I reported myself as in quest of +the linnets. The scene of contest I found to be a largish room, where +some twenty or thirty most un-Arcadian looking gentlemen were already +assembled, the only adjunct at all symptomatic of that pastoral district +being their pipes, at which they were diligently puffing. The whole of +the tender-legged competitors, both for the money and the copper kettle, +were hanging in little square green cages over the fireplace; and the +one idea uppermost in my mind was how well the linnets must be seasoned +to tobacco smoke if they could sing at all in the atmosphere which those +Corydons were so carefully polluting. Corydon, besides his pipe, had +adopted nuts and beer to solace the tedium of the quarter of an hour +that yet intervened before the Bermondsey bird and its Walworth +antagonist were to be "on the nail;" and ever and anon fresh Corydons +kept dropping in, until some fifty or sixty had assembled. They were all +of one type. There was a "birdiness" discernible on the outer man of +each; for birdiness, as well as horseyness, writes its mark on the +countenance and the attire. In the latter department there was a +proclivity to thick pea-jackets and voluminous white comforters round +the neck, though the day was springlike and the room stuffy. The talk +was loud, but not boisterous, and garnished with fewer elegant flowers +of speech than one would have expected. Five minutes before two the +non-competing birds were carefully muffled up in pocket-handkerchiefs, +and carried in their cages out of earshot, lest their twitterings might +inspire the competing minstrels. Bermondsey and Walworth alone occupied +the nails. Scarcely any bets were made. They seemed an impecunious +assemblage, gathered for mere sport. One gentleman did, indeed, offer to +stake "that 'ere blowsy bob," as though a shilling in his possession +were a rarity of which his friends must be certainly aware. What was the +occult meaning of the epithet "Blowsy" I could not fathom, but there +were no takers; and, after the windows had been opened for a few minutes +to clear the atmosphere, they were closed again; the door locked; the +two markers took their place at a table in front of the birds, with bits +of chalk in their hands; mine host stood by as referee in case of +disputes; time was called; and silence reigned supreme for a quarter of +an hour, broken only by the vocal performances of the Bermondsey and +Walworth champions respectively. If a hapless human being did so far +forget himself as to cough or tread incontinently upon a nutshell, he +was called to silence with curses not loud but deep. + +The Walworth bird opened the concert with a brilliant solo by way of +overture, which was duly reported by the musical critic in the shape of +a chalk line on the table. The length of the effusion did not matter; a +long aria, or a brilliant but spasmodic cadenza, each counted one, and +one only. The Bermondsey bird, heedless of the issue at stake, devoted +the precious moments to eating, emitting nothing beyond a dyspeptic +twitter which didn't count; and his proprietor stood by me evidently +chagrined, and perspiring profusely, either from anxiety or superfluous +attire. Nearly half the time had gone by before Bermondsey put forth its +powers. Meanwhile, Walworth made the most of the opportunity, singing in +a manner of which I did not know linnets were capable. There were notes +and passages in the répertoire of Walworth which were worthy of a +canary. The bird no doubt felt that the credit of home art was at stake, +and sang with a vigour calculated to throw foreign feathered artistes +into the shade. Bermondsey evidently sang best after dinner, so he dined +like an alderman; yet dined, alas! not wisely, but too well, or rather +too long. Then he sang, first, a defiant roulade or so, as much as to +say, "Can you beat that, Walworth?" pausing, with his head wickedly on +one side, for a reply. That reply was not wanting, for Walworth was +flushed with success; and one could not help regretting ignorance of +bird-language so as to gather exactly what the reply meant. Then came a +protracted duet between the two birds, which was the pièce de résistance +of the whole performance. The silence became irksome. I could not help +congratulating myself on the fact that no Corydon had brought his +Phyllis; for Phyllis, I am sure, would not have been able to stand it. +Phyllis, I feel certain, would have giggled. We remained mute as mice, +solemn as judges. The ghost of a twitter was hailed with mute signs of +approval by the backers of each bird; but a glance at the expressive +features of the host warned the markers that nothing must be chalked +down that did not come up to his idea of singing. Had the destinies of +empires hung upon his nod he could scarcely have looked more oracular. +But Walworth could afford to take matters easily now. For the last five +minutes the Bermondsey bird did most of the music; still it was a +hopeless case. Success was not on the cards. By-and-by, time was again +called. Babel recommenced, and the result stood as follows: + + Walworth 3 score 18 + Bermondsey 1 score 10 + +It was an ignominious defeat truly; and, had one been disposed to +moralize, it had not been difficult to draw a moral therefrom. It was +not a case of "no song, no supper;" but of supper--or, rather, +dinner--and no song. Bermondsey had failed in the artistic combat, not +from lack of powers, as its brilliant part in the duet and its +subsequent soli proved, but simply from a Sybaritic love for creature +comforts. I ventured to suggest it might have been expedient to remove +the seed, but was informed that, under those circumstances, the +creature--its proprietor called it an uglier name--would not have sung +at all. The remarkable part of the business to me was that they did sing +at the proper time. They had not uttered anything beyond a twitter until +silence was called, and from that moment one or the other was singing +incessantly. I suppose it was the silence. I have noticed not only caged +birds, but children--not to speak ungallantly of the fair sex--generally +give tongue most freely when one is silent, and presumably wants to keep +so. + +The contest, however, was over, the stakes paid, and Corydon sought his +pastoral pipe again--not without beer. It was a new experience, but not +a very exciting one--to me, at least. It evidently had its attractions +for the very large majority of attendants. In fact, Rodney Road is +generally a "birdy" neighbourhood. Its staple products, to judge by the +shops, seemed birds and beer. I was much pressed by mine host to stay +for the evening entertainment, when six birds were to sing, and the +attendance would be more numerous. As some five hours intervened I +expressed regret at my inability to remain, reserving my opinion that +five hours in Lock's Fields might prove the reverse of attractive, and +Corydon in greater force might not have an agreeable effect on that +already stuffy chamber. So I took myself off, wondering much, by the +way, what strange association of ideas could have led any imaginative +man to propose such an incongruous reward as a copper kettle by way of +præmium for linnet-singing. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +A WOMAN'S RIGHTS DEBATE. + + +There never was a time when, on all sorts of subjects, from Mesmerism to +Woman's Rights, the ladies had so much to say for themselves. There is +an ancient heresy which tells us that, on most occasions, ladies are +prone to have the last word; but certain it is that they are making +themselves heard now. On the special subject of her so-called "Rights" +the abstract Woman was, I knew, prodigiously emphatic--how emphatic, +though, I was not quite aware, until having seen from the top of a +City-bound omnibus that a lady whom I will describe by the Aristophanic +name of Praxagora would lecture at the Castle Street Co-operative +Institute. I went and co-operated so far as to form one of that lady's +audience. Her subject--the "Political Status of Women"--was evidently +attractive, not only to what we used in our innocence to call the weaker +sex, but also to those who are soon to have proved to them the fallacy +of calling themselves the stronger. A goodly assemblage had gathered in +the fine hall of the Co-operators to join in demolishing that ancient +myth as to the superiority of the male sex. My first intention was to +have reported verbatim or nearly so the oration of Praxagora on the +subject; and if I changed my scheme it was not because that lady did not +deserve to be reported. She said all that was to be said on the matter, +and said it exceedingly well too; but when the lecture, which lasted +fifty minutes, was over, I found it was to be succeeded by a debate; and +I thought more might be gained by chronicling the collision of opinion +thence ensuing than by simply quoting the words of any one speaker, +however eloquent or exhaustive. + +I own with fear and trembling--for it is a delicate, dangerous +avowal--that, as a rule, I do not sympathize with the ladies who declaim +on the subject of Woman's Rights. I do not mean to say I lack sympathy +with the subject--I should like everybody to have their rights, and +especially women--but they are sometimes asserted in such a +sledge-hammer fashion, and the ladies who give them utterance are so +prone to run large and be shrill-voiced that their very physique proves +their claim either unnecessary or undesirable. I feel certain that in +whatever station of domestic life those ladies may be placed, they would +have their full rights, if not something more; and as for Parliamentary +rights, I tremble for the unprotected males should such viragos ever +compass the franchise; or, worse still, realize the ambition of the +Ecclesiazusæ of Aristophanes, and sit on the benches of St. Stephen's +clad in the nether garments of the hirsute sex. There was nothing of +that kind on Tuesday night. In manner and appearance our present +Praxagora was thoroughly feminine, and, by her very quietude of manner, +impressed me with a consciousness of power, and determination to use it. +Her voice was soft and silvery almost as that of Miss Faithfull herself; +and when, at the outset of her lecture, she claimed indulgence on the +score of never having spoken in a public hall before, we had to press +forward to the front benches to catch the modulated tones, and men who +came clumping in with heavy boots in the course of the lecture were +severely hushed down by stern-visaged females among the audience. + +Disclaiming connexion with any society, Praxagora still adopted the +first person plural in speaking of the doctrines and intentions of the +down-trodden females. "We" felt so and so; "we" intended to do this or +that; and certainly her cause gained by the element of mystery thus +introduced, as well as by her own undoubted power of dealing with the +subject. When the "we" is seen to refer to the brazen-voiced ladies +aforesaid, and a few of the opposite sex who appear to have changed +natures with the gentle ones they champion, that plural pronoun is the +reverse of imposing, but the "we" of Praxagora introduced an element of +awe, if only on the omne ignotum pro magnifico principle. In the most +forcible way she went through the stock objections against giving women +the franchise, and knocked them down one by one like so many ninepins. +That coveted boon of a vote she proved to be at the basis of all the +regeneration of women. She claimed that woman should have her share in +making the laws by which she was governed, and denied the popular +assertion that in so doing she would quit her proper sphere. In fact, we +all went with her up to a certain point, and most of the audience beyond +that point. For myself I confess I felt disheartened when, having dealt +in the most consummate way with other aspects of the subject, she came +to the religious phase, and begging the question that the Bible and +religion discountenanced woman's rights, commenced what sounded to me +like a furious attack on each. + +Now I happen to know--what perhaps those who look from another +standpoint do not know--that this aggressive attitude assumed so +unnecessarily by the advocates of woman's rights is calculated to keep +back the cause more than anything else; and matter and manner had been +so much the reverse of hostile up to the moment she plunged +incontinently into the religious question, that it quite took me by +surprise. I have known scores of people who, when they came under +vigorous protest to hear Miss Emily Faithfull on the same fertile +subject, went away converted because they found no iconoclasm of this +kind in her teaching. They came to scoff and stopped, not indeed to +pray, but to listen very attentively to a theme which has so much to be +said in its favour that it is a pity to complicate its advocacy by the +introduction of an extraneous and most difficult question. So it was, +however; with pale, earnest face, and accents more incisive than before, +Praxagora said if Bible and religion stood in the way of Woman's Rights, +then Bible and religion must go. That was the gist of her remarks. I +need not follow her in detail, because the supplementary matter sounded +more bitterly still; and, had she not been reading from MS. I should +have thought the lecturer was carried away by her subject; but no, she +was reading quite calmly what were clearly enough her natural and +deliberate opinions. I said I was surprised at the line she took. +Perhaps I ought scarcely to have been so, for she was flanked on one +side by Mr. Bradlaugh, on the other by Mr. Holyoake! but I never +remember being so struck with a contrast as when at one moment Praxagora +pictured the beauty of a well-regulated home, and the tender offices of +woman towards the little children, and then shot off at a tangent to +fierce invectives against the Bible and religion, which seemed so +utterly uncalled for that no adversary who wanted to damage the cause +could possibly have invented a more complete method of doing so. + +The lecture over, the chairman invited discussion, and a fierce little +working man immediately mounted the platform and took Praxagora to task +for her injudicious onslaught. But, as usual, this gentleman was wildly +irrelevant and carried away by his commendable zeal. Over and over again +he had to be recalled to the question, until finally he set his whole +audience against him, and had to sit down abruptly in the middle of a +sort of apotheosis of Moses--as far as I could hear, for his zeal outran +his eloquence as well as his discretion, and rendered him barely +audible. A second speaker followed, and, though cordially sympathizing +with the address, and tracing woman's incapacity to her state of +subjugation, regretted that such a disturbing element as religion had +been mixed up with a social claim. He considered that such a subject +must inevitably prove an apple of discord. For this he was at once +severely handled by Mr. Bradlaugh, who, consistently enough, defended +the line Praxagora adopted towards the religious question, and justified +the introduction of the subject from the charge of irrelevance. He also +deprecated the surprise which the last speaker had expressed at the +excellent address of Praxagora by pointing out that in America about +one-third of the press were females, a fact which he attributed to the +plan of Mixed Education. Then a new line was opened up by a speaker--it +was as impossible to catch their names as to hear the stations announced +by porters on the Underground Railway. He predicted that if women did +get the franchise, Mr. Bradlaugh's "Temple" would be shut up in six +months, as well as those of Messrs. Voysey and Conway and Dr. Perfitt. +The ladies, he said, were swayed by Conventionalism and Priestcraft, and +until you educated them, you could not safely give them the franchise. + +A youthful Good Templar mounted the rostrum, for the purpose of patting +Praxagora metaphorically on the back, and also ventilating his own +opinions on the apathy of the working man in claiming his vote. Then +somebody got up and denied that ladies were by nature theological. Their +virtues were superior to those of men just as their voices were an +octave higher. He was for having a Moral Department of the State +presided over by ladies. Only one lady spoke; a jaunty young woman in a +sailor's hat, who said that in religious persecutions men, not women, +had been the persecutors; and then Praxagora rose to reply. She first of +all explained her position with regard to the Bible, which she denied +having unnecessarily attacked. The Bible forbade a woman to speak; and, +that being so, the Bible must stand on one side, for "we" were going to +speak. That the highest intellects had been formed on Bible models she +denied by instancing Shelley. If she thought that this movement was +going to destroy the womanhood of her sex she would not move a finger +for its furtherance. She only thought it would give a higher style of +womanhood. As to women requiring to be educated before they would know +how to use the franchise, she pointed triumphantly to the Government +which men had placed in power. It was significant, she said, that the +first exercise of the working men's franchise had been to place a +Conservative Government in office. + +I daresay I am wrong, but the impression left on my mind by the +discussion was that the liberty of thought and action claimed was the +liberty of thinking as "_we_" think and doing what "_we_" want to have +done--a process which has been before now mistaken for absolute freedom. +Stripped of its aggressive adjuncts, Praxagora's advocacy of her main +subject would be telling in the extreme from the fact of her blending +such thorough womanliness of person, character, and sentiment with such +vigorous championship of a doctrine against which I do not believe any +prejudice exists. Drag in the religious difficulty, however, and you +immediately array against it a host of prejudices, whether reasonable +ones or the reverse is not now the question. I am only concerned with +the unwisdom of having called them into existence. I own I thought that +Christianity had been the means of raising woman from her state of +Oriental degradation to the position she occupies in civilized +countries. But I was only there to listen, not to speak; and I confess I +came away in a divided frame of mind. I was pleased with the paper, but +irritated to think that a lady, holding such excellent cards, should +risk playing a losing game. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +AN OPEN-AIR TICHBORNE MEETING. + + +When Sydney Smith, from the depths of his barbarian ignorance, sought to +rise to the conception of a Puseyite, he said in substance much as +follows:--"I know not what these silly people want, except to revive +every obsolete custom which the common sense of mankind has allowed to +go to sleep." Puseyism is not to our present purpose; but Tichborne-ism +is--for it has attained to the dignity of a veritable ism--and we may +define it much after the same method, as an attempt, not, indeed, to +revive the claims of, but to restore to society a person, who, after a +trial of unexampled length, was consigned by the verdict of a jury, and +the consequent sentence of the Lord Chief Justice, to the possibly +uncongenial retirement of Millbank Penitentiary. With the rights or +wrongs of such an event I have simply nothing to do. I abandoned the +Tichborne Trial at an early stage in a condition of utter bewilderment; +and directly an old gentleman sought to button-hole me, and argue that +he must be the man, or he couldn't be the man, I made off, or changed +the conversation as rapidly as I could. + +But when the question had at length been resolved by wiser heads than +mine, and when, too, I felt I could write calmly, with no fear of an +action for contempt of court before my eyes, I confess that a poster +announcing an open-air Tichborne meeting in Mr. Warren's cricket-field, +Notting Hill, was too fascinating for me. I had heard of such gatherings +in provincial places and East End halls; but this invasion of the West +was breaking new ground. I would go; in fine I went. On the evening of +an exceptionally hot July day, I felt there might be worse places than +Mr. Warren's breezy cricket ground alongside Notting Barn Farm; so six +o'clock, the hour when the chair was to be taken, found me at the +spot--first of the outer world--and forestalled only by a solitary +Tichbornite. How I knew that the gentleman in question deserved that +appellation I say not; but I felt instinctively that such was the case. +He had a shiny black frock-coat on, like a well-to-do artisan out for a +holiday, and a roll of paper protruding from his pocket I rightly +inferred to be a Tichborne petition for signature. As soon as we got on +the ground, and I was enjoying the sensation of the crisp well rolled +turf beneath my feet, a man hove in sight with a table, and this +attracted a few observers. A gentleman in a light coat, too, who was +serenely gazing over the hedge at the Kensington Park Cricket Club in +the next ground, was, they informed me, Mr. Guildford Onslow. The +presiding genius of the place, however, was Mrs. Warren, who, arrayed +in a gown of emerald green--as though she were attending a Fenian +meeting--bustled about in a state of intense excitement until the +greengrocer's cart, which was to serve as a rostrum, had arrived. When +this occurred, the table and half a dozen Windsor chairs were hoisted +into it; another table was arranged below the van, with the Tichborne +Petition outspread upon it; and I fancied that arrangements were +complete. + +Not so, however. The gentleman in the shiny coat and emerald green Mrs. +Warren between them tin-tacked up a long scroll or "legend" along the +rim of the van, consisting of the text from Psalm xxxv. 11:--"False +witnesses did rise up against me. They laid to my charge things that I +knew not." The association of ideas was grotesque, I know, but really as +Mrs. Warren and the shiny artisan were nailing this strip to the +greengrocer's van, they put me very much in mind of a curate and a lady +friend "doing decorations" at Christmas or Eastertide. Nor was this all. +When the "strange device" was duly tin-tacked, some workmen brought four +long pieces of quartering, and a second strip of white calico with +letters stuck on it was nailed to these; and when the stalwart fellows +hoisted it in air and tied the two centre pieces of wood to the wheels +of the greengrocer's cart, I found that it consisted of the Ninth +Commandment. The self-sacrificing carpenters were to hold--and did +hold--the outside poles banner-wise during the entire evening; and, with +one slight exception, this banner with the strange device, No. 2, formed +an appropriate, if not altogether ornamental background for the +greengrocer's van. Knots of people had gathered during these +proceedings; and I was confused to find that I was being generally +pointed out as Mr. Onslow, that gentleman having retired to the privacy +of Mr. Warren's neighbouring abode. Later on I was taken for a +detective, because, in my innocence, I withdrew ever and anon from the +crowd, and, sitting on a verdurous bank, jotted down a note in my +pocket-book; but this got me into such bad odour by-and-by that I felt +it better to desist, and trust to memory. Some of the smaller boys also +averred that I was Sir Roger himself, but their youthful opinions were +too palpably erroneous to carry weight. + +In due course the van was occupied by Mr. Onslow, the Rev. Mr. +Buckingham (about whom I felt, of course, very curious), my shining +artisan, and a few others. A thin-faced gentleman, whose name I could +not catch, was voted to the chair, and announced to us that he should go +on talking awhile in order that Messrs. Onslow and Buckingham might +"refresh," as they had each come from the country. This they did coram +publico in the cart, while the chairman kept us amused. The wind, too, +was blowing pretty freshly, and was especially hard on the Ninth +Commandment, which gave considerable trouble to the holders of the +props. It was directly in the teeth of the speaker, too--an arrangement +which Mrs. Warren, in her zeal, had overlooked; and it was decided by +common consent to "reverse the meeting"--that is, to turn the chairs of +the speakers round, so that the Ninth Commandment was nowhere, and +looked like an Egyptian hieroglyph, as the reversed letters showed dimly +through the calico. The chairman eventually read to the meeting, which +was now a tolerably full one, the form of petition which was to serve as +the single resolution of the evening. I was struck with this gentleman's +departure from conventional legal phraseology on this occasion. Instead +of naming the cause célèbre "The Queen _versus_ Castro" (it being +written, as Sam Weller says, with a "wee") he termed it "The Queen _via_ +Castro!" The petition was as follows:-- + +"That in the trial at Bar in the Court of Queen's Bench, on an +indictment of the Queen v. Castro, alias Arthur Orton, alias Sir Roger +Charles Doughty Tichborne, Bart., for perjury, the jury, on the 28th day +of February, 1874, brought in a verdict of guilty against him, declaring +him to be Arthur Orton, and he was sentenced to fourteen years' penal +servitude, which he is now undergoing. + +"That your petitioners have reason to know and believe and are +satisfied, both from the evidence produced at the trial and furnished +since, and from their own personal knowledge that he is not Arthur +Orton. + +"That though 280 witnesses were examined at the said trial in his +behalf, a very large number more, as your petitioners have been informed +and believe, were also ready to be examined, but that funds were not +available for the purpose, the defendant having been entirely dependent +on the voluntary subscriptions of the public for his defence. + +"That your petitioners submit that such a large number as 280 witnesses, +most of whom gave positive evidence that the defendant was not Arthur +Orton, and whose testimony in two instances only was questioned in a +court of law--as against about 200 witnesses for the prosecution, whose +evidence was chiefly of a negative character--was of itself enough to +raise a doubt in the defendant's favour, of which doubt he ought to have +had the benefit, in accordance both with the law and the custom of the +country. + +"That, under the circumstances, your petitioners submit that he had not +a fair trial, and they pray your honourable House to take the matter +into your serious consideration, with a view to memorialize her Majesty +to grant a free pardon." + +The Rev. Mr. Buckingham, a cheery gentleman who bore a remarkable +resemblance to the celebrated Mr. Pickwick, rose to move the resolution; +and I could not help noticing that, not content with the ordinary white +tie of clerical life, he had "continued the idea downwards" in a white +waistcoat, which rather altered the state of things. He spoke well and +forcibly I should think for an hour, confining his remarks to the +subject of "Sir Roger" not being Arthur Orton. He (Mr. Buckingham) +belonged to some waterside mission at Wapping, and had known Arthur +Orton familiarly from earliest boyhood. His two grievances were that his +negative evidence had not been taken, and that he was now being +continually waited on by "Jesuits," who temptingly held out cheques for +_1000l._ to him if he would only make affidavit that the man in Millbank +was Arthur Orton. + +Mr. Onslow, who seconded the resolution, however, made the speech of the +evening, and was so enthusiastically received that he had to recommence +several times after glowing perorations. The burden of Mr. Onslow's +prophecy was the unfairness of the trial; and his "bogies" were +detectives, just as Mr. Buckingham's were Jesuits. The Jean Luie affair +was the most infernal "plant" in the whole case; and he read records of +conflicting evidence which really were enough to make one pack up one's +traps and resolve on instant emigration. He was, however, certainly +right on one point. He said that such meetings were safety-valves which +prevented revolution. No doubt this was a safety-valve. It amused the +speakers, and Mrs. Warren and the glazed artisan; and it could do nobody +any possible harm. Whether it was likely to do the man of Millbank any +good was quite another matter, and one which, of course, it was quite +beside my purpose to discuss. There was a deal of--to me--very +interesting speaking; for I gained new light about the case, and stood +until my legs fairly ached listening to Messrs. Buckingham and Onslow. + +When the editor of the _Tichborne Gazette_ claimed an innings it was +another matter; and--perhaps with lack of esprit de corps--I decamped. I +only saw this gentleman gesticulating as I left the field; but the rate +at which he was getting up the steam promised a speech that would last +till nightfall. + +As I went off the ground I was struck with the clever way in which a +London costermonger will turn anything and everything to account. One of +them was going about with a truck of cherries, crying out, "Sir Roger +Tichborne cherries. Penny a lot!" + +There was no symptom of overt opposition, though opponents were blandly +invited to mount the waggon and state their views; but there was a good +deal of quiet chaff on the outskirts of the crowd, which is the portion +I always select on such occasions for my observation. On the whole, +however, the assembly was pretty unanimous; and though it never assumed +the dimensions of a "monster meeting," the fact that even so many people +could be got together for such a purpose seemed to me sufficiently a +sign of the times to deserve annotation in passing. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +SUNDAY IN A PEOPLE'S GARDEN. + + +I have often thought that an interesting series of articles might be +written on the subject of "London out of Church," dealing with the +manners and customs of those people who patronize no sort of religious +establishment on the Sunday. I have seen pretty well all the typical +phases of religious London and London irreligious; but these would +rather be characterized as non-religious than as irreligious folks. They +do not belong to any of the varied forms of faith; in fact faith is from +their life a thing apart. It is in this negative way that they are +interesting. Sunday is with them only a regularly recurring Bank +Holiday. It would be interesting to know what they do with it. A special +difficulty, however, exists for me in any such inquiry, resulting from +the fact that, in my capacity of clerical casual, I am pretty generally +engaged on the Sunday; and when I am not, my Day of Rest is too valuable +to be devoted to any of the manifold forms of metropolitan +Sabbath-breaking. I have a great idea that parsons ought to be +frequently preached at; and so I generally go to some church or chapel +when out of harness myself; and if "hearing sermons" constitute the +proper carrying out of the things promised and vowed on my behalf at +baptism I must have undergone as complete a course of Christian +discipline as any man in Christendom, for I have been preached at by +everybody from Roman Catholics down to Walworth Jumpers and Plumstead +Peculiars! + +But impressed with anxiety to know about the doings of the +non-Church-goers, I have for a long time cast sheep's eyes at the Sunday +League, and more than once definitely promised to join one of their +Sunday outings; but I am strongly of Tom Hood's opinion that-- + + The man who's fond precociously of stirring + Must be a _spoon_. + +The Sunday League commence their excursions at untimely hours; and it is +a cardinal point in my creed that Sunday ought to be a Day of Rest, at +all events in the matter of breakfast in bed. I missed the excursion to +Shakspeare's House in this way, and the paper on the Bard of Avon, full +of the genius loci, must have been as edifying as a sermon. So, too, on +a recent Sunday, when the Sunday League on their way to Southend got +mixed up with the Volunteer Artillery going to Shoebury, I was again +found wanting. But still the old penchant remained, and Sunday was my +last free one for a long time. How could I utilize it? I had it; I would +go to the People's Garden at Willesden. I had heard that certain very +mild forms of Sabbath breaking prevailed there. I would go and see for +myself. + +I had been at the People's Garden twice before; once on the occasion of +a spiritualistic picnic, and once, more recently, at a workmen's flower +show; and felt considerable interest in the place, especially as the +People had been polite enough to send me a season ticket, so that I was +one of the People myself. + +This People's Garden was not exactly a Paradise yet, though it is in a +fair way of becoming one. It is a spot of some fifty acres reclaimed +from the scrubbiest part of Wormwood Scrubbs, and made the focus of a +club of working men, of whom I am very proud indeed to be one. Indeed, I +do not see why throughout the remainder of this article I should not use +the first person plural. I will. Well, then, we secured this spot, and +we have got in the first place one of the finest--I believe the +finest--dancing platforms in England, for we as a community are +Terpsichorean, though I, as an individual, am not. I felt it necessary +to give up dancing when my weight turned the balance at fourteen stone +odd. Then we can give our friends refreshments from a bottle of +champagne down to tea and cresses. We have all sorts of clubs, dramatic +and otherwise, and rather plume ourselves on having put up our +proscenium ourselves, that is with our own hands and hammers and nails. +There is the great advantage of being a Working Man or one of the +People. If you had been with me that Sunday you would have seen a glow +of conscious pride suffusing my countenance as I read the bills of our +last amateur performance, consisting of the "Waterman" and "Ici on parle +Français," played on the boards which I, in my corporate capacity, had +planed, and sawn, and nailed. My route last Sunday lay across the crisp +sward of the Scrubbs; and it was quite a pleasure to be able to walk +there without danger of falling pierced by the bullet of some erratic +volunteer; for there are three butts on Wormwood Scrubbs, which I +examined with minuteness on Sunday, and was exercised to see by marks on +the brickwork how very wide of the target a volunteer's shot can go. I +wonder there is not a wholesale slaughter of cattle in the neighbouring +fields. The garden lies on the other side of the Great Western Railway, +across which I had to trespass in order to get to it. But the man in +charge regarded me with indulgence, for was I not a working man and a +"mate?" The portion of the garden abutting on the rail is still +unreclaimed prairie. The working men have begun at the top of the hill, +and are working downwards. + +There is a good-sized refreshment-room at the entrance, with all the +paraphernalia of secretary's office, &c.; and this large room, which is +exceedingly useful in wet weather, opens right on to the +dancing-platform, in the centre of which is a pretty kiosk for the band. +We have no gas; but tasty paraffin lamps at frequent intervals give +sufficient light, and, at all events, do not smell _worse_ than modern +metropolitan gas. There is a large tent standing en permanence during +the summer for flower shows, and terrace after terrace of croquet lawns, +all of which it will, I fear, shock some Sabbatarian persons to learn +were occupied on that Sunday afternoon, and the balls kept clicking like +the week-day shots of the erratic riflemen on the Scrubbs. I had a young +lady with me who was considerably severe on the way in which we workmen +male and female, handled our mallets. There was, I confess, something to +be desired in the way of position; and one group of German artisans in +the corner lawn made more noise than was necessary, howling and uttering +all sorts of guttural interjections, as though they were playing polo at +least, or taking part in a bull-fight, instead of in croquet--beloved of +curates. + +And then the flowers. We are making the desert blossom like the rose. It +is really marvellous to see what has been done in so short a time. We +might have been a society of market gardeners. We don't get so many +flowers along the walk of life, we working men; so that we want to see a +bit of green sward and a flower or two on Sundays. There is a capital +gymnasium, and our observation of the young men who disport themselves +there would lead an uninitiated observer to form the opinion that the +normal condition of humanity was upside down. The way one youthful +workman hung by his legs on the trapeze was positively Darwinian to +behold. Swings attracted the attention of the ladies; and I regret to +say that the particular young lady I escorted--who was of the mature age +of twelve--passed most of the afternoon in a state of oscillation, and +was continually adjuring me to push her. + +An interesting addition to the gardens--our gardens--since I was last +there, consisted of a cage of meditative monkeys, four in number, who +were stationed so near the gymnasium as inevitably to suggest the +Darwinian parallel. They had their gymnasium too, and swung gaily on +their tree-trunks at such times as they were not engaged in eating or +entomological researches. I could not help thinking what a deprivation +it was to the gymnasts that, in course of evolution, we have lost our +tails. They would have been so convenient on the horizontal bar, where +that persevering young workman was still engaged in the pursuit of +apoplexy by hanging head downwards. Soon after we got there an excellent +band commenced playing, not in the kiosk, lest we should be beguiled +into dancing. The first piece was a slow movement, which could scarcely +have been objected to by any Sabbatarian, unless he was so +uncompromising as to think all trumpets wrong. The second was the +glorious march from "Athalie;" and then--my blood runs cold as I write +it--a sort of pot pourri, in the midst of which came the "Dutchman's +Little Wee Dog," considerably disguised in the way of accompaniment and +variation, I own, but the "Little Wee Dog" beyond a doubt. Then I +understood why the band was not in the kiosk; for, fourteen stone though +I be, I felt all my toes twiddling inside my boots at that time as +wickedly as though it had been Monday morning. There were fourteen or +fifteen loud brass instruments, with a side and bass drum and cymbals. +All these were playing the "Little Wee Dog" to their brazen hearts' +content, and only one gentleman on a feeble piccolo-flute trying to +choke their impiety by tootling out a variation, just as the stringed +instruments in the glorious "Reformation Symphony" of Mendelssohn try in +vain to drown with their sensuous Roman airs the massive chords of the +old Lutheran chorale--"Ein feste Burg ist unser Gott." I really could +not bear it any longer, and was rising to go when they stopped; and as +the gentleman who played the circular bass got outside his portentous +instrument, I found he had a little wee dog of his own who retired into +the bell of the big trumpet when his master laid it on the grass. +Perhaps it was in honour of this minute animal the air was selected. +However, I could not lend myself to such proceedings; so I bribed my +youthful charge with a twopenny bottle of frothless ginger beer to come +out of her swing and return to the regions of orthodoxy. The Teutonic +gentlemen were still hooting and yelling as we crossed the corner of +their croquet lawn, until I expected to see them attack one another +with the mallets and use the balls for missile warfare; but it was only +their peculiar way of enjoying themselves. + +My little friend described the action of our working men in the croquet +lawn as "spooning," and also drew my attention to the fact that two +lovers were doing the same on a seat, in the approved fashion prevalent +among us workmen, with the manly arm around the taper waist coram +publico. This arrangement is quite a necessity with us. We should often +like to forego it, especially when little boys make rude remarks about +us in the street; but it is expected of us, and we submit. + +The sun was beginning to sink grandly over that magnificent panorama of +country visible from Old Oak Common as we passed down the hill and again +violated the bye-laws of the Great Western Railway Company. The spires +of the West End churches were bathed in the soft glow of departing day; +and in the distance the Crystal Palace glittered like a fairy bower. We +got back after making a little détour on account of some gentlemen who +were bathing in a very Paradisiacal way indeed--we actually got back in +time to go to church like good Christians; and I do not think either of +us felt much the worse for the hours we had spent in the People's +Garden--save and except the wicked Little Wee Dog! + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +UTILIZING THE YOUNG LADIES. + + +Time was when it was accepted as an axiom that young ladies had no +object in life but to be ornamental--no mission but matrimony. The +"accomplishments" were the sum total of a genteel education, though +charged as "extras" on the half-yearly accounts; and all the finished +creature had to do, after once "coming out," was to sit down and +languidly wait for an eligible suitor. + +Times changed. And, in England, when we make a change, we always rush +violently into an opposite extreme. Woman had a mission, and no mistake. +Now it was the franchise and Bloomer costume, just as aforetime it was +the pianoforte and general fascination. Blue spectacles rose in the +market. We had lady doctors and female lawyers. The only marvel is that +there was no agitation for feminine curates. + +Then came reaction again. It was discovered that woman could be educated +without becoming a bluestocking, and practical without wearing bloomers +or going in for the suffrage. Still holding to the wholesome principle +that "woman is not undeveloped man, but diverse," the real friends of +the gentler sex discovered a hundred and one ways in which it could +employ itself usefully and remuneratively. It was no longer feared lest, +as Sydney Smith puts it, if a woman learnt algebra she would "desert her +infant for a quadratic equation;" and the University of Cambridge soon +fell in with the scheme for the Higher Education of Women; while Miss +Faithfull, and several others, organized methods for employing +practically the talents which education could only develope in a general +way. It was to one of these methods--not Miss Faithfull's--my attention +was drawn a short time since by a letter in the daily papers. The +Victoria Press and International Bureau are faits accomplis, and it is +well that efforts should be made for utilizing in other ways that +interesting surplus in our female population. Mrs. Fernando, of Warwick +Gardens, Kensington, has set herself to the solution of the problem, and +the shape her method takes is a Technical Industrial School for Women. + +The object and aim of the institution is to examine, plan, and organize +such branches of industrial avocation as are applicable to females, and +open up new avocations of useful industry compatible with the +intellectual and mechanical capabilities of the sex, not forgetting +their delicacy, and the untutored position of females for practical +application in all industrial labour: to give the same facilities to +females as are enjoyed by males, in collective classes for special +training or special preparation for passing examinations open to women, +thereby to enable them to earn their livelihood with better success than +is attainable by mere school education only: to give special training to +females to qualify them to enter special industrial avocations with such +competency as will enable them to be successful in obtaining employment: +to apprentice females, or to employ them directly into trades where such +employers will receive them beyond the limits of the industrial school +and where females can be constantly employed, such as in composing, +embossing, illuminating, black-bordering, ticket-writing, +circular-addressing, flower-making, flower-cultivating, &c. + +Being a determined sceptic in the matter of prospectuses, I determined +to go and see for myself the working of this scheme, which looked so +well on paper. The Institution occupies a large house exactly opposite +Dr. Punshon's chapel: and there is no chance of one's missing it, for it +is placarded with announcements like a hoarding at election time. I +found Mrs. Fernando an exceedingly practical lady, doing all the work of +the institution herself, with the exception of a few special subjects +such as botany, &c., which are conducted by her husband. There are no +"assistants," therefore, or deputed interests, the bane of so many +high-priced schools. + +These classes are held in the evening from seven to nine o'clock, and +are intended for ladies above the age of fifteen years, who may be +engaged through the day in various occupations, and for such as suffer +from neglected education, and who wish conveniently and economically to +improve themselves, without being necessitated to mix with their juniors +in day-schools. These classes prepare ladies to meet the qualifications +necessary to enter clerkships and other official departments; to bring +them also to a standard to meet the qualifications for post offices and +telegraph departments; and also to pass certain examinations open to +them. The charge is only _2s._ per week--_8s._ per month--_1l. 4s._ per +quarter. The first course embraces spelling, reading, writing, +arithmetic, history, geography, and grammar. The second course consists +of advanced arithmetic, book-keeping and commercial instruction, so as +to qualify women to take posts of responsibility with marked success. +The third course consists of French, for practical usefulness. The +fourth course embraces simple or technical training in such departments +as are available within the limits of the class-room--to qualify women +to enter industrial avocations with competency, and to make them +successful in obtaining employment. This department will be extended to +greater usefulness as conveniences arise, by apprenticing the girls or +employing them directly in trades beyond the limits of the class-room, +where employers will receive them, or where women could be consistently +engaged--as, for instance, in the work of compositors, ticket-writers, +embossers, &c. &c. + +The two classes with which I was brought into contact were the +book-keeping and embossing. In the former, more than a dozen young +ladies were being initiated in the mysteries of single and double entry, +and they posted up their books in a way that made me feel very much +ashamed of myself, when I thought how incapable I should be of doing +anything half so useful. Many girls go from this department to be +book-keepers at large hotels, places of business, &c. + +I then went to the embossing room, where six presses were being worked +by as many young ladies, one in an adjoining room being reserved for +Mrs. Fernando, who not only tells her pupils what to do, but shows them +how to do it. The gilding and colouring of the stamps was most +elaborate; two monograms of the Queen's name and that of the Empress +Eugénie being perfect marvels of artistic and intricate workmanship. +Every process, from mixing the colours up to burnishing the gold, was +gone through in detail by this practical lady and her intelligent pupils +for my special edification, and I passed out a much wiser and certainly +not a sadder man than I entered this veritable hive of human bees. + +No expense was spared in the education of these girls, low as are the +terms they pay. I saw quite a ruinous heap of spoilt envelopes and +fashionable sheets of thick cream-laid; for they have to make their +experiments on the best material, and the slightest alteration in the +position of a pin where the stamping process has to be several times +repeated spoils the whole result. Mrs. Fernando has also introduced +envelope and circular addressing by women, as a department of female +industrial work in the Technical Industrial School for Women, where a +number of females are employed between the hours of ten and four +o'clock, receiving satisfactory remuneration. She provides the females +employed in this department evening classes free of charge, to improve +themselves in general education. + +I am an intense admirer of the female sex in general, and young ladies +in particular, but really when I came away, leaving my pretty +book-keepers and embossers to resume their normal work, and saw the +numbers of young ladies sitting listlessly over misnamed "work" at the +window, or walking languidly nowhither in the streets, I thought that, +without losing any of their attractions, nay, adding a new claim to the +many existing ones on our regard, they might with great advantage take a +turn at Mrs. Fernando's sixpenny lessons in technical education. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +FAIRLOP FRIDAY. + + +Amongst those customs "more honoured in the breach than the observance" +which are rapidly being stamped out by the advancing steps of +civilization, are the institutions which we can yet remember as so +popular in the days of our childhood, called pleasure fairs. Like that +social dodo in a higher section of society, the "three-bottle man," with +the stupid Bacchanalian usages of which he was the embodiment, these +fairs are slowly but surely disappearing as education spreads among the +masses of the people. In the country a fair is a simple and a necessary +thing enough. At certain seasons of the year, according to the staple +commodities for the sale of which the assemblage was originally +instituted, our bucolic friends gather at early morning with the +products of their farms; a good deal of noisy buying, selling, and +barter takes place. Later in the day the ladies invest their profits in +a little mild finery, or in simple pleasures; and, later still, when the +public-houses have done their work, comes a greater or lesser amount of +riot, rude debauchery, and vice; and then, voilà tout--the fair is over +for a year. One can easily imagine the result of the transition when, +from the quiet country, the fair removes to the city or suburb. In such +places every utilitarian element is wanting, and the gilt ginger-bread +and gewgaws are only a speciously innocent attraction towards the +drinking and dancing booth where the mischief is done. Well-wishers to +society are unromantic enough not to regret the decidedly waning glories +of these gatherings, from the great Bartholomew Fair itself down to that +which, on the Friday of which I write, converted many miles of +thoroughfare at the East End of London, as well as one of the prettiest +forest scenes still surrounding the metropolis, into a vast al fresco +tavern, where the "worship of Bacchus" was as freely indulged as in any +heathen temple of ancient times. + +Fairlop Fair--which has not yet died out, though beginning to show +satisfactory signs of decay--commenced its existence, innocently enough, +about a century ago. At that time Mr. Day, a shipbuilder, wishing to +have a day's outing in the forest with his friends and employés, fitted +up a vessel on wheels, fully rigged, in which he conveyed his picnic +party to Hainault Forest, on the outskirts of which, some distance from +Ilford, stood the famous Fairlop Oak. The holiday became an annual +custom, and gradually changed its character from the simple gathering of +a master and his men into regular saturnalia; during which, each year, +from the first Friday in July, over the ensuing Saturday and Sunday, +riot and debauchery reigned supreme in the glades of the forest and the +eastern districts of London. The example set by Mr. Day was followed by +other ship, boat, and barge builders, but of late years, more +particularly by the mast and block makers, riggers, shipwrights, and +shipyard labourers; and more recently still by the licensed victuallers. +Finding the custom good for trade, the publicans formed a society for +building or hiring these boats on wheels, which, covered with flags, and +provided each with a band of music and filled with revellers, annually +make their progress into Hainault Forest. They go no longer, alas! to +Fairlop Oak--for that is numbered with the things of the past--but now +to Barking side, where, at the Maypole Inn, the festivities of Fairlop +Fair are still kept up. + +These ship and boat cars attract immense multitudes along the Mile End, +Bow, and Whitechapel Roads, down as far as Aldgate; the crowd assemble +in the morning to see the holiday people start on their expedition. The +most remarkable sight, however, is at night, when the "boats" return +lighted with coloured lanterns, red and green fires, &c.; and at every +public-house along the road similar fires are burnt, and brass bands +stationed to strike up as the cars pass, and stop at certain favoured +establishments "for the good of the house." Anxious to witness the +fading glories of Fairlop Friday myself, before the advancing tide of +civilization shall have done their inevitable work upon them, I sallied +forth to the East End, and walking along one of the finest approaches to +London, from Aldgate, by Whitechapel, to Bow and Stratford Churches, +succeeded in realizing more completely than ever before two facts: +first, how gigantic is the population of the East End of London; and, +secondly, how little is required to amuse and attract it. There were +only two of the "boats" sent to the Forest that year. Their return could +gratify the sight of these people but for a single instant; yet there, +from early dusk almost to succeeding daylight, those working men, +literally "in their thousands"--and not in the Trafalgar Square +diminutive of that expression--gathered to gratify themselves with the +sight of the pageant. In comparison, the "Boeuf Gras," which annually +sends the gamins of Paris insane, is really a tasteful and refined +exhibition. Yet there they were, women, men, and children--infants in +arms, too, to a notable extent--swarming along that vast thoroughfare, +boozing outside the public-houses, investing their pence in +"scratch-backs" and paper noses, feathers and decorations, as do their +betters on the course at Epsom, under the feeble excuse of "waiting for +the boats." The first arrived en retour at Stratford Church about ten +o'clock; and certainly the appearance of the lumbering affair as it +moved along, with its rigging brought out by means of coloured fires, +lanterns, and lamps, was odd enough. As soon as it passed me at +Stratford, I jumped outside one of the Bow and Stratford omnibuses, and +so had an opportunity of following, or rather joining in, the procession +as far as Whitechapel, where the "boat" turned off into Commercial Road. +For the whole of that space the footway was filled with one seething +mass of humanity, and the publicans were driving a rattling trade +outside and inside their establishments. As the glare of the coloured +fires lighted up the pale faces of the crowd with a ghastly hue, and I +heard the silly and too often obscene remarks bandied between the +bystanders and the returning revellers, I could not help agitating the +question, whether it would not be possible to devise some innocent +recreation, with a certain amount of refinement in it, to take the place +of these--to say the best--foolish revelries. In point of fact, they are +worse than foolish. Not only was it evident that the whole affair from +beginning to end, as far as adults were concerned, was an apotheosis of +drink; but amongst another section of the populace, the boys and girls, +or what used to be boys and girls--for, as the Parisians say, "Il n'y a +plus de garçons"--one must have been blind indeed not to see the +mischief that was being done on those East End pavements; done more +thoroughly perhaps, certainly on a vastly larger scale, than in the +purlieus of the forest. It is an uninviting subject to dwell upon; but +one could understand all about baby farms, and Lock Hospitals, and +Contagious Diseases Acts, out there that July night, in the crowded +streets of East London. + +It would be unfair to dilate upon these evils, and not to mention an +organization which, for the last ten years, has been seeking to remedy +the mischief. Some hundreds of working men of a more serious stamp, +aided by a few gentlemen and ministers of various denominations, form +themselves into small bands of street preachers, and sallying forth in a +body, hold services and preach sermons at the most populous points of +the Fairlop route. Being curious to see the effect of their bold +labours--for it requires immense "pluck" to face a Whitechapel mob--I +joined one of these detachments, where the Rev. Newman Hall was the +preacher. Before starting, this gentleman gave it as the result of his +long experience with the British workman that there is no use in waiting +for him to come to church. If the church is to do anything with him, it +must go out and meet him in the streets and fields, as it originally +did. Mr. Hall gave some amusing illustrations of his experience at +Hastings, where, for several weeks, he had been preaching on the beach +to large congregations. He was idling there, he said, for health's sake, +and one evening, seeing a number of men loafing about, he proposed to +one of them that he should give them an address. This gentleman declined +the address, but added, characteristically enough, "If ye'll gie me +some beer I'll drink it." Two others, being asked if they would listen, +"didn't know as they would." Under these unpromising auspices Mr. Hall +began, and, attracting a crowd, was "moved on" by a policeman. A +gentleman who recognised him proposed an adjournment to the beach, and +there a sermon was preached, and has been repeated by Mr. Hall on +several occasions, with a congregation of thousands. He has a peculiar +knack of speaking in a tongue "understanded of the people," and his +address to the Fairlop crowd on that Friday night "told" considerably. +At its conclusion he quietly put on his hat, dropped into the crowd, and +went his way; but the tone of criticism amongst his hearers was very +favourable, and I quite agree with the critics that it's a pity we +haven't "more parsons like that." It is not, however, simply by +religious zeal such a want as that to which I allude is to be supplied, +but by the substitution of some sensible recreation for the low +attractions of the beershop and gin-palace. It is a problem worthy of +our deepest thinkers: "What shall we offer our huge populations in +exchange for the silly pageant even now being enacted in the outskirts +of the metropolis--which may well be taken to embody the pastime of the +lower orders--Fairlop Fair?" + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +A CHRISTMAS DIP. + + +There are few more exhilarating things, on a breezy spring morning, than +a spurt across that wonderful rus in urbe--Kensington Gardens and Hyde +Park--for a prospective dip in the Serpentine, where, at specified hours +every morning and evening, water-loving London is privileged to disport +itself in its congenial element. So congenial is it, in fact, that some +enthusiastic individuals do not limit themselves to warm summer +mornings, or the cooler ones of springtide and autumn, but bathe all the +year round--even, it is said, when a way for their manoeuvres has to be +cut through the ice. Skirting the north bank of the Serpentine at +morning or evening in the summer, the opposite shore appears absolutely +pink with nude humanity, the younger portion dancing and gambolling very +much after the manner of Robinson Crusoe's cannibals. The bathers +occasionally look a great deal better out of their integuments than in +them. Not from this class, however, do your all-the-year-round bathers +come. The Arab is an exotic--a child of the Sun, loving not to disport +himself in water the temperature of which shocks his tentative +knuckles, as he dips them in the unaccustomed element. His wardrobe, +again, is too much after the fashion of that pertaining to Canning's +needy knife-grinder to make an al fresco toilette other than +embarrassing. From the all-the-year-round bathers, as a nucleus, there +has grown up, within the last few years, the Serpentine Swimming Club; +and on Christmas-day in the morning they have an annual match open to +all comers--though, it need scarcely be said, patronized only by those +whom, for brevity's sake, we may term all-rounders. + +Now, I had often heard of this Christmas-day match, and as often, on +Christmas-eve, made up my mind to go; but the evening's resolution faded +away, as such resolutions have only too often been known to do, before +the morning's light. This year, however--principally, I believe, because +I had been up very late the previous night--I struggled out of bed +before dawn, and steered for the Serpentine. A crescent moon was +shining, and stars studded the clear spaces between ominous patches of +cloud. A raw, moist wind was blowing, and on the muddy streets were +evident traces of a recent shower. I had no notion that the gates of +Kensington Gardens were open so early; and the sensation was novel as I +threaded the devious paths in morning dawn, and saw the gas still alight +along the Bayswater Road. A solitary thrush was whistling his Christmas +carol as I struggled over the inundated sward; presently the sun threw a +few red streaks along the East, over the Abbey Tower; but, until I had +passed the Serpentine Bridge, not a single human being met my gaze. +There, however, I found some fifty men, mostly with a "sporting" look +about them. The ubiquitous boy was there, playing at some uncomfortable +game in the puddles round the seats. The inevitable dog stood pensively +by the diving board; and when, by-and-by straggling all-rounders came +and took their morning header, the quadruped rushed after them to the +very edge of the water, as though he had been a distinguished member of +the Humane Society. He shirked the element itself, however, as +religiously as though he had been one of London's great unwashed. In the +pause which preceded the race, I learned, from the Honorary Secretary of +the Serpentine Swimming Club, particulars of its history and of the race +itself. For six years it had been merely a club race; but last year it +was thrown open. Strangely enough the race had never been won twice by +one man, though the competitors had been pretty much the same every +year. I also conversed with one of the intending competitors, who showed +me on his breast with pardonable pride, five medals of the Royal Humane +Society, awarded for saving life in cases of danger from drowning. The +wearer was a Professor of Natation, and told me that, among his pupils, +he had an old lady sixty-seven years of age, who had just commenced, and +was able to swim some twenty yards already. The brave old lady's +example may do good; though it is to be hoped that she may not, at her +time of life, be compelled to exert her art for her own protection. + +Names were now called, and fourteen competitors presented themselves--a +motley group, clad for the most part in trousers, horse-rug, and +wide-awake, or, more simply still, in Ulster frieze coat only. The group +of spectators had by this time grown to some hundreds, nearly all +directly interested in the noble art; and the dips became fast and +frequent. Two flags were placed in the water at the distance of 100 +yards from the diving board; on this slender platform fourteen shivering +specimens of humanity ranged themselves, and at the word of the starter +plunged into the water with that downward plunge so incomprehensible to +the uninitiated. A short, sharp struggle followed, the competitors +swimming with the sidelong movement and obstreperous puffing which +likens the swimmer so closely to the traditional grampus. Eventually one +of the group is seen heading the others, and breasting the water with +calm and equable stroke in the old-fashioned style. He reaches the flag +a full yard before his nearest antagonist. Numbers two and three, +following, are about half a yard apart. The others come in pretty much +in a group. All were picked men, and there were no laggards. The names +of the winners were as follows:--1. Ainsworth; 2. Quartermain; 3. H. +Coulter. The time occupied in the race was 1 min. 24 sec. Immediately +after the race there was a rapid re-assumption of rugs and Ulsters, +though some of the more hardy walked about in the garb of Nature, making +everybody shiver who looked at them. Finally, the prizes, consisting of +three handsome medals, were distributed by Mr. H. Bedford, who stood on +a park seat and addressed a few genial words to each of the successful +candidates; then, with a cheer, and frequent wishes for a Merry +Christmas, the assembly resolved itself into its component parts. + +I had taken my accustomed cold tub before coming out, yet each of these +fourteen devoted men appeared to me as a hero. They were not Herculean +individuals: several of them were mere youths. Some of the all-rounders +were grey-headed men, but there was about them all a freshness and +ruddiness which showed that their somewhat severe regimen agreed with +them. Fresh from such a Spartan exhibition, everything seemed very late +and Sybaritic in my domestic establishment, and I could not help +revolving in my mind the question, what would one of these hardy +all-the-year-rounders think of me if he knew I was ever guilty of such a +malpractice as breakfast in bed? It is a novel method; but there are +many worse ways of inaugurating the Great Holiday than by taking--what +it had been a novel sensation for me even to witness--a Christmas Dip in +the Serpentine. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +BOXING-DAY ON THE STREETS. + + +Boxing-day in the London streets, and especially a wet Boxing-day, can +scarcely fail to afford us some tableaux vivants illustrative of English +metropolitan life. In a metaphorical and technical sense, Boxing-day is +always more or less "wet"--generally more, and not less; but this year +the expression is used climatically, and in its first intention. +Christmas-eve of the year about which I write was bright and springlike; +Christmas-day dismal, dark, and un-Christmas-like; but Boxing-day that +year was essentially muggy, sloppy, drizzly, and nasty. A day to avoid +the London streets if you want to take a romantic Rosa-Matilda view of +London life; but the very day of all others, if you wish to see real +London as it is. Boxing-day will inevitably be "wetter" in every sense +than usual this year, internally and externally. So let us commence our +series of living pictures at ten o'clock in the morning. Suppose we +begin with something that shall bear reference to the past festival--the +eve and the day of the Great Birth, recollect. See, here is Grotto +Passage, Marylebone, and at its extremity Paradise Street--the names +sound promising, but alas for the reality! We are going to turn for a +moment into the Marylebone Police Court, where Mr. D'Eyncourt is +dispensing summary justice to the accumulations of the last two days. +These are the people who have been spending Christmas-eve, +Christmas-day, and some portion of Boxing-day already in the +police-cells. Let us take one as a typical case. Let that poor little +eight-year-old Arab step down from the dock and go off with his mother, +who, we hope, will take the magistrate's excellent advice, and keep the +child from begging--that is why he has spent Christmas in the +cells--lest he be sent to a school for eight years, and she have to pay +for him--God help her! she does not look as though she could afford very +high terms. A bruised and bleeding woman, not young or good-looking, +enters the box with her head bound up. Her lord and master confronts her +in the dock. It is the "old, old story." A drop of drink yesterday--the +day of the Great Nativity, never forget--series of "drops of drink" all +day long; and, at five o'clock, just when gentility was beginning to +think of dinner, the kitchen poker was used with frightful effect. A +triangular cut over the right eye, and another in the dangerous +neighbourhood of the left ear, administered with that symbol of domestic +bliss, the kitchen poker, sends the wife doubled up into a corner, with +an infant of two years old in her arms. The head of the family goes out +for a walk after his exertions. The woman lies there bleeding until the +neighbours hear her "mourning," as she terms it--the result being that +the lord and master's "constitutional" is cut short by a policeman, and +the happy pair are this morning separated for six months, at the +expiration of which period Paterfamilias is to find surety for another +six months' good behaviour. Such, starred round with endless episodes of +"drunk and disorderly," "foul language," and so on, is our first tableau +this Boxing-day. It is not a pleasant one. Let us pass on. + +Along Oxford Street, despite the Bank Holidays Act, many shops are open, +chiefly those devoted to the sale of articles eatable, drinkable, and +avoidable; these last being in the shape of chemists' shops, and shops +for Christmas presents--to be shunned by miserly old bachelors. Let us +turn into the British Museum and see sensible, decorous Boxing-day +there. At the corner of Museum Street there is a lively itinerant +musician, evidently French, who plays the fiddle until his bow tumbles +all to pieces, but he goes on playing with the stick as though nothing +had happened. When his instrument has come entirely to grief he turns to +a clarionet, which he carries under his arm, and plays "Mourir pour la +Patrie" with extraordinary vocal effect and irreverent gestures. +Punch-and-Judy is largely attended at the other end; Punch is +kitchen-pokering his wife, too, like the gentleman we have just left; +but we pass in with the crowds to the Museum itself. Halting a moment +in the reading-room, to jot down there a few notes, one is struck with +the scanty show of students. _They_ are spending Boxing-day somewhere +else. Passing through the little knot of people who are permitted by +special order to come as far as the door of the reading-room, and who +evidently regard the readers as some curious sort of animal exhibited +for their special delectation--perhaps the book-"worm" of which they +have heard so much--we go up the stairs, now thronged with crowds in +unwonted broadcloth and fragrant with the odour of the inevitable +orange. Next to the drinking fountain, which is decidedly the chief +attraction, comes the gorilla, and then the extinct animals. One stout +old lady, contemplating the megatherium and mastodon, inquires in what +parts "them creeturs" are to be found, and seems considerably damped by +being informed that Nature has been "out" of such articles for several +æons. The mummies, with the bones of their toes sticking out, also come +in for a large share of admiration. There is a good deal of rough +flirtation going on; but, on the whole, the pleasure is rather of a +placid order, though still contrasting favourably with the settled gloom +visible on the faces of the attendants in the various galleries. How +well we can understand such gloom! How utterly hateful must that giant +elk and overgrown extinct armadillo be to a man condemned to spend a +lifetime in their close contemplation! + +But let us pass on to the artistic Boxing-day keepers at the National +Gallery. The walk will take us through the Seven Dials, and can scarcely +fail to be suggestive. It is now one o'clock, the traditional hour of +dinner; and in Broad Street, St. Giles's, I see, for the first time +to-day, the human barometer evidently standing at "much wet." A +gentleman in a grey coat and red comforter, who bears palpable signs of +having been more than once on his back, has just reached that perplexing +point of inebriety when he can walk quickly or run, but cannot stand +still or walk steadily. He is pursued by small children, mostly girls, +after whom, every now and then, he runs hopelessly, to their intense +gratification. The poultry and bird shops in the Seven Dials are objects +of some attraction, though they savour too much of "business" to be in +very great force. The National Gallery is crowded with unaccustomed art +students. There is about the visitors a quiet air of doing their duty, +and being determined to go through with it at any price. One +brazen-faced quean speculates audibly--in fact, very audibly--as to +which "picter" she should choose if she had her "pick," and decent +matrons pass the particularly High Art of the old masters with +half-averted gaze, as though they were not quite sure of doing right in +countenancing such exhibitions. Hogarth's evergreen "Marriage à la +Mode" is a great centre of attraction, and the youngsters never tire of +listening, as "with weeping and with laughter still is the story told" +over and over again by their elders. Gainsborough's likeness of Mrs. +Siddons is also a great favourite; but perhaps the picture that attracts +most attention is Van Eyck's "John Arnolfini, of Lucca, and his Wife." +The gentleman wears a portentous hat, which tickled the fancy of the +Boxing-day people immensely. There were great speculations too among +them as to whether the curious Tuscan pictures at the top of the stairs +were "needlework" or not. Still, who shall say that these visitors were +not the better for their visit, surrounded as they were by forms of +beauty on every side, even if they did not examine them with the eyes of +connoisseurs? + +Boxing-day on the river: The silent street is almost deserted. There is +no rush for the Express boat to-day. It is literally the +streets--muddier and sloppier than the Thames itself--that are the +attraction. Some little boys are making the trip from Westminster to +London Bridge as a treat; and it is an intense joke with them to pretend +to be dreadfully seasick. Boxing-day in the City is synonymous with +stagnation. It is a howling wilderness, with nobody to howl. On the +Metropolitan Railway I verily believe travellers were tripping it like +the little boys on board the penny boat. And so theatre time draws on, +and the interest of Boxing-day grows to a climax. Soon after five +o'clock groups furtively collect outside the playhouses, half-ashamed of +being so early, but gathering courage from numbers to form the +disorderly queue, so unlike that of a Parisian theatre. Boxing-night in +the theatres others will describe. It is too much to expect of one whose +mission has been the whole day long on the streets. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +THE VIGIL OF THE DERBY. + + +In those days--happily now gone by--when public strangulation was the +mode in Merry England, there was always an evident fascination +appertaining to the spot where, on the morrow, some guilty wretch was to +expiate his crimes on the gallows. Long before the erection of that +elegant apparatus commenced, and generally on a Sunday evening, when +decent citizens had newly come from houses of God, where they had heard +the message of life, crowds began to collect on that central spot in the +heart of the great City dedicated to sudden and violent death. The +coming event seemed to cast its shadow before; and throughout the night +the roisterer or belated traveller made a détour to visit the human +shambles. I confess to having felt the attraction. I could not then +bring myself to be present at the strangulation proper; so, as the +nearest approach to a "sensation," sometimes visited Newgate on the eve +of the victim elect's last morrow. In the same way, being unfortunate +enough to be London-bound on the day of our great annual holiday, and +having heard graphic accounts of the Downs on the eve of the Derby, I +determined that year, as I could not go to the race by day, to visit the +racecourse by night. Let me own the soft impeachment: I am not a racing +man--not in any degree "horsey." When I do go to the Derby it is to see +the bipeds rather than the quadrupeds; to empty the hamper from Fortnum +and Mason's, rather than to study the "names, weights, and colours of +the riders" on the "c'rect card." If you prefer to have the sentiment in +Latin--and there is no doubt Latin does go much farther than English--I +am not one of those "quos pulverem Olympicum collegisse juvat," except +in so far that "homo sum; nihil humanum alienum a me puto." It was to +see humanity under a new aspect, I took the last train to Epsom on the +eve of the Derby. + +In order to combine business with pleasure, and economy with both, I +took a third-class ticket at Victoria, and was fortunate enough to find +a compartment already partially occupied by a nigger troupe. In this, +which under ordinary circumstances I should have avoided, I took my +seat, and was regaled all the way down with choice morceaux from the +répertoire of my musical friends. The "talking man" of the party, too, +enlivened the proceedings by anxiously inquiring of the porters at the +different stations what they would take in the way of refreshment, and +issuing unlimited orders to imaginary waiters on their behoof. It was a +strange sensation, being whirled away from home and bed down to a wild +heath towards midnight; and as we neared our destination, the air began +to "bite shrewdly," and the sky to look uncommonly like rain--a +contretemps which would have been fatal to my proposed experience. We +had to change carriages at Sutton, and here a sociable Aunt-Sally-man, +struggling under the implements of his craft, sought to beguile me from +my African friends by offers of a shake-down in his tent, with which he +proposed to walk across from Ewell and erect, instead of journeying on +to Epsom. My Ethiopian friends jumped at the proposal, and forthwith +fraternized with Aunt Sally. I determined to follow out my previous +plans; so having drunk to our next merry meeting, we parted, ostensibly +until to-morrow, but, I fear, for ever. + +I had been led to expect "high jinks" at Epsom--a sort of Carnival in +the quiet town. Nothing could have been farther from the truth. The +town, so far as outward semblance went, was almost as quiet as ever. A +few sporting men thronged the bar of the principal hotel, and stragglers +hung about the low beer-shops; but there was nothing at all to indicate +the imminence of the great event. So I fell back on my usual expedient +of applying to the executive, and found not only an active and +intelligent but exceedingly civil sergeant of police, to whom I told my +errand. He was pleased with the novelty of the idea, and as he happened +to be then going the round of the town previously to visiting the +course, I cast in my lot with him for the night. We first visited what +he termed the "German Opera," on Epsom Common. This is an encampment of +organ-grinders, hurdy-gurdy-players, German bands, &c., who pitch their +tents here instead of going to the Downs. It was, however, rather late +when we reached the spot where these artists were bivouacking, and they +had retired for the night, so we could not form much idea of them beyond +their numbers, which seemed considerable, and their odour, which was +unfragrant. Thence we passed down a short alley to a railway arch, which +was aglow with many fires, and rang with the sounds of many voices. +Bidding me make no observation, whatever might be said, and requesting +me to try and look like an officer in plain clothes, my cicerone led me +into the strange arcade, which I certainly could not have entered +without his protection. Hundreds of men, women, and boys were gathered +in groups round coke fires, some partaking of coffee, others singing, +the majority sleeping. After satisfying himself that the fires were +legitimate ones, and not composed of broken fences, my guide left this +teeming hive unmolested. We then steered for the course, not by the high +road, but skirting it along the fields. The policeman, like myself, +carried a stout stick, which really seemed to be endowed with creative +powers that night. Wherever he poked that staff--and he did poke it +everywhere--a human being growled, or snored, or cursed. Every bush +along the hedgerow bore its occupant--often its group of four or five, +sometimes a party of a dozen or a score. One shed filled with carts +yielded at least a hundred, though the sergeant informed me it must have +been already cleared several times that evening, as he had a file of men +along the road, besides a cordon inside the Park palings, which border a +great portion of it. It is with these palings the tramps chiefly do +mischief, pulling them down to make fires along their route. Wherever my +guide found these, he trampled the fires remorselessly out, and kicked +the burning embers over the sleepers in a manner that must have been +uncomfortable. The men submitted in comparative silence; but the +ladies--where there happened to be any--exerted the privilege of their +sex, and treated us to some choice specimens of the vernacular. In one +case, a female cried out that he was kicking the fire over the +"childer;" and, sure enough, we found half-a-dozen little ones huddled +up asleep. The policeman remonstrated with her for bringing them to such +a place; but she informed us it was to "make their living." In what way, +she did not add. To us, it seemed very much like reversing the process, +and causing their death. Fancy young children camping out on the road to +the Downs at midnight! Boys of thirteen and fourteen abounded, sleeping +in large groups along the hedgerows, and sometimes out in the open +fields, where the dew lay thick. + +At length, after many windings, we reached the Downs. The white booths, +following the direction of the course in their sinuous lines, looked +like stately white marble streets and crescents in the dim, uncertain +light of that hour which, between May 31 and June 1, is neither day nor +night. Under the stands and around the booths, tabernacling beneath +costermongers' barrows, and even lying out openly sub dio, were still +the hundreds of human beings. In one small drinking booth was a sight +the policeman said he had never seen equalled in his twenty years' +experience. A long, narrow table ran down the centre, with benches on +each side. The table itself was occupied with recumbent figures; on the +benches the sleepers sat, bending forward over it, and under the benches +sleepers sprawled upon the grass. The whole of the front of the booth +was open, and exposed to the biting wind; but there they snored as +calmly as though on eider-down. We climbed the steps of the stand above +the ring, and waited for the day, which slowly broke to the song of the +lark and nightingale over that strange scene. With the first suspicion +of dawn the sleepers awoke and got up; what for I cannot imagine. It was +barely two o'clock, and how they were going to kill the next twelve +hours I could not guess. Rise they did however, and an itinerant vendor +of coffee, who was literally up with the lark, straightway began to +drive a roaring trade. I saw no stronger drink than this consumed; nor +did I witness a single case of drunkenness during the whole night. But +this was before the Derby! At this juncture we were all surprised by the +apparition of a hansom-lamp toiling up the hill. Two adventurous +gentlemen from Liverpool, it appeared, had arrived at the Euston +Station, and insisted upon being driven at once to an hotel on Epsom +Downs. The Jehu, secure of a fabulous fare, drove them accordingly; and, +of course, had to drive them back again to Epsom--the hotels on the +Downs quietly but firmly declining to be knocked up at that untimely +hour even by gentlemen from Liverpool. As the sun showed his first +up-slanting rays above the horizon, with the morning star hanging +impertinently near, the two gipsy encampments began to exhibit signs of +life. The Zingari encamp exclusively by themselves, and some picturesque +specimens of the male sex, looking remarkably like the lively photograph +of the Greek brigands, showed themselves on the outskirts. The ladies +reserved themselves for later in the day. My guide cautioned me not to +attempt to enter the encampment, as the men are dangerous, and their +position on the Downs a privileged one. It was only when the tramps were +trespassing, or evidently bent on mischief, that they were disturbed. On +the Downs they were monarchs of all they surveyed. + +When the sun was fairly up, and the morning mists rolled away from those +glorious Downs, I felt my mission accomplished. I had seen the sun rise +on Epsom course. As it was many hours before a train would return, and +I still felt fresh, I resolved to give the coup de grace to my night's +adventure by walking home--at least, walking to the radius of workmen's +trains. The vanguard of the Derby procession now began to show strongly +in the shape of the great unwashed climbing the ridge of the hill by the +paddock; and I felt I should see some characteristic sights along the +road. Bidding good-bye, therefore, to my guide at Epsom, I set out on +foot along the now-populous road, mine being the only face turned +London-wards. Carts laden with trestles and boards for stands now began +to be in force. By-and-by the well-known paper bouquets and outrageous +head-gear showed themselves as forming the cargo of costermongers' +carts. The travellers were all chatty, many of them chaffy. Frequent +were the inquiries I had to answer as to the hour and the distance to +the course. Occasionally a facetious gentleman anxiously inquired +whether it was all over, as I was returning? I believe the majority +looked upon me as a harmless lunatic, since I was travelling away from +Epsom on the Derby morning, and pitied me accordingly. An Irishman aptly +illustrated the genial character of Hibernian chaff as compared with +English. "Good day to your honner!" he said. "It does me good to see +your honner's happy face again;" though, of course, he had never seen it +before. As I passed on with a brief salutation, he took the trouble to +run after me, and slapping me on the shoulder, added, in a beautiful +brogue: "Wait a minnit; I don't want to ax you for anything, but only to +tell you how glad I am to see yer honner's happy face agin. Good +mornin'!" + +So through Ewell, Cheam, and Morden, up to Tooting; the throng +increasing at every mile. At Balham, finding no train for an hour, I +footed it again. I found preparations for endless Aunt Sally already +being made on Clapham Common. Soon after six, I jumped into a train on +the London, Chatham, and Dover, and came home "with the milk;" having +not only had a healthy night's exercise--for the weather had all along +been splendid--but having added to my experiences of London life one new +"wrinkle" at least: I had seen the life of St. Giles's kitchen and +Bethnal Green lodging-house à la campagne. What I had already seen under +the garish candlelight of the Seven Dials and Commercial Road I saw +gilded into picturesqueness by that glorious and never-to-be-forgotten +sunrise on Epsom Downs which ushered in the Derby Day. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +THE WIFESLAYER'S "HOME." + + +There is something very weird and strange in that exceptional avocation +which takes one to-day to a Lord Mayor's feast or a croquet tournament, +to-morrow to a Ritualistic service, next day to the home of a homicide. +I am free to confess that each has its special attractions for me. I am +very much disposed to "magnify my office" in this respect, not from any +foolish idea that I am "seeing life," as it is termed, but still from a +feeling that the proper study of mankind _is_ man in all his varied +aspects. + +It need not always be a morbid feeling that takes one to the scene of a +murder or other horrible event, though, as we well know, the majority of +those who visit such localities do go out of mere idle curiosity. It may +be worth while, however, for some who look a little below the surface of +things, to gauge, as it were, the genius loci, and see whether, in the +influences surrounding the spot and its inhabitants there be anything to +afford a clue as to the causes of the crime. + +In summing up the evidence concerning a certain tragedy at Greenwich, +where a man killed his wife by throwing a knife, the coroner "referred +to the horrible abode--a coal cellar--in which the family, nine in +number, had resided, which was unfit for human habitation, and ought to +have been condemned by the parish authorities." Having seen and +described in these pages something of how the poor are housed in the +cellars of St. Giles's and Bethnal Green, and traced the probable +influences of herding together the criminal and innocent in the low +lodging-houses, it occurred to me to visit the scene of this awful +occurrence, and see how far the account given before the coroner's jury +was correct. + +With this view I took the train to Greenwich, and, consulting the first +policeman I met, was by him directed to Roan Street as the scene of the +tragedy. Roan Street I found to be a somewhat squalid by-street, running +out of Skelton Street, close--it seemed significantly close--to the old +parish church. One could not help thinking of the familiar proverb, "The +nearer the church, the farther from God." The actual locality is called +Munyard's Row, being some dozen moderate-sized houses in Roan Street, +let out in lodgings, the particular house in question being again, with +a horrible grotesqueness, next door but one to a beer-shop called the +"Hit or Miss!" I expected to find Roan Street the observed of all +observers, but the nine days' wonder was over since what Dickens called +the "ink-widge." Indeed, a homicide has ceased to be a nine days' +wonder now. This only happened on Saturday; and when I was there, on the +following Wednesday, Roan Street had settled down into its wonted +repose. A woman with a child was standing on the door-step, and, on my +inquiring if I could see the kitchen, referred me to Mrs. Bristow at the +chandler's shop, who farms the rent of these populous tenements; for +Munyard's Row is peopled "from garret to basement," and a good way +underground too. + +Mrs. Bristow, a civil, full-flavoured Irishwoman, readily consented to +act cicerone, and we went through the passage into the back garden, +where all the poor household furniture of the homicide's late "home" was +stacked. It did not occupy a large space, consisting only of the +bedstead on which the poor woman sat when the fatal deed was done, two +rickety tables, and two chairs. These were all the movables of a family +of nine. The mattress was left inside--too horrible a sight, after what +had taken place, to be exposed to the light of day. + +We passed--Honora Bristow and myself--with a "gossip" or two, who had +come to see what I was after, into the back kitchen, for the wifeslayer +had two rooms en suite, though the family elected to occupy only one. +The floor of this apartment was either mother earth, or, if flagged, so +grimed with filth as to be a very fair resemblance of the soil. Here +stood only that terrible memento, the drenched mattress. In the front +kitchen--which, let me state, would have been palatial in comparison +with the Seven Dials or Spitalfields, had it been only clean--there was +very little light, for the window, which was well down below the surface +of the pavement, had not a whole pane in it, and the broken ones had +been stuffed up with old rags which were very protuberant indeed. That +window alone would show that the ménage had not been a judicious one. + +"He was a quiet man," said Honora, "and gave trouble to no one. He and +his wife never had a word." The gossips all believed that the story of +the throwing the knife was true, notwithstanding the medical evidence +went against it. The boy of twelve, who provoked the father to throw the +knife, was evidently the incubus of the wretched home. "Almost before +the breath was out of his mother, that boy was searching about the bed +to see if he could find any ha'pence," said Honora. That boy was +evidently not satisfactory. His evidence was refused by the Coroner, +because he could not read or write. But then what had been the child's +surroundings? They have been described above. The man himself had a +patriarchal family of seven, from a girl of seventeen down to a baby of +two, and all, as we have seen, slept in one room, though there were two, +and though a bucket of whitewash would have made the pair habitable, +besides giving the lad some useful employment. + +The father was of no particular occupation, picking up odd jobs, and +leaning largely to the shrimp trade. He stood high in Honora Bristow's +regards as having regularly paid his _1s. 9d._ a week for five years, +or, at least, being some _5s._ behind now; a sum which will probably be +covered by the chattels in the back garden. The poor home was silent +then. The mother lay calmly in the dead-house, after the post-mortem +examination, "terrible cut and hacked about," said the one gossip who +had ventured to go and see her quondam friend. The father was in +Maidstone Gaol. The little children were being taken care of by the +grandmother until such time as the mother should have been buried, when +they would gravitate to the workhouse. + +In the meantime the boy, æt. twelve, the cause of all the mischief, +disports himself in Munyard's Row as though nothing had happened. +Perhaps he is the most difficult part of the problem; but the whole +question of the home is a puzzling one. The boy is evidently the product +of the home. It very much concerns the community that such produce +should become extinct; and therefore the sooner some improvements can be +introduced into such homes the better. In the first place, there is +decidedly too little light. Sunshine, under any circumstances, would +have been impossible there. The advisability of human beings burrowing +underground may be questioned, whether in cellars or genteel underground +kitchens. + +Then again, one bedroom--nay, one bedstead--for father, mother, and +seven children ranging from seventeen to two is decidedly deficient. +This sounds almost too horrible to be true; but I was careful to +ascertain that the eldest girl, though in domestic service in Greenwich, +slept at the "home." More horrible still is the fact disclosed, that +they had a second room, yet had not the decency to use it. "De mortuis +nil nisi bonum." They lived according to their light; but they had very +little light, literally or figuratively. Surely we want to teach our +poor the simple rules of hygiene. One of the gossips, a clean, healthy +little woman, with a fine baby at her breast, referred with pride to her +poor kitchen, identical in all respects, save dirt, with the home. + +Then, again, there was one thing that struck me forcibly, and that was +the sort of qualified reprobation with which these good gossips--really +decent people in their way--spoke of the habit of throwing knives. +Honora had once thrown one at her daughter of eighteen, but never meant +to do so again. And all this under the bells of the old parish church of +Greenwich in the year of grace 1870! + +Clearly, however, the first question is what to do with the boy, æt. +twelve. Comporting himself as he did in the face of the awful tragedy he +had caused, this young gentleman must clearly not be lost sight of, or +it will be the worse for himself and those with whom he is brought into +contact. Nay, in a few years, he will become a centre of influence, and +radiate around him another such "home," worse, perhaps, than the first. + +Let our Social Science so far break through the programme it may have +laid down as to touch on this very appropriate subject of squalid homes, +and its next sitting may be a very useful one indeed. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + +BATHING IN THE FAR EAST. + + +Visions of Oriental splendour and magnificence float across the +imagination at the mere mention of the storied East. Soaring above all +the routine of ordinary existence and the commonplaces of history, that +creative faculty within us pictures Pactolus with its golden sands; or +recalls from the legendary records of childhood the pomp of Aladdin's +Princess going to her luxurious bath; or brings back to mind the almost +prosaic minuteness with which the Greek poet describes the bath of +Ulysses when he returned from his wanderings. In the East the bath has +ever been an institution--not merely a luxury, but a necessity; and it +is a proof of the eclectic tendencies of our generation that we have +domesticated here in the West that great institution, the Hammam, or +Turkish bath, which the Romans were wise enough to adopt, after their +Eastern experience, more than two thousand years ago. Of none of these +Oriental splendours, however, has the present narrative to tell. I ask +those interested in social questions to take a very early Sunday +expedition to the East End of London, and catch a glimpse of those whom, +after what I have to relate, it would be libel to call the "Great +Unwashed." We will look at East London engaged in the interesting +process of performing its ablutions. + +Very enjoyable is a Saturday afternoon stroll in Victoria Park. Those +gentlemen of London who sit at home at ease are apt to think of the East +End as a collection of slums, with about as much breathing space for its +congregated thousands as that supplied to the mites in a superannuated +Cheshire cheese. Let us pass through Bethnal Green Road, and, leaving +behind the new Museum, go under a magic portal into the stately acres +which bear the name of our Sovereign. On our right is the Hospital for +Diseases of the Chest, of which the foundation-stone was laid by the +Prince Consort, and the new wing of which our Orientals hope one day to +see opened by her Majesty in person. Most convincing test of all is the +situation of this Consumptive Hospital--showing the salubrity of the +Eastern breezes. Inside the imposing gate the visitor will find +extensive cricket-grounds interspersed with broad pastures, whose flocks +are the reverse of Arcadian in hue. Cricket-balls whiz about us like +shells at Inkermann; and the suggestive "Thank you" of the scouts forces +the passer-by into unwonted activity as he shies the ball to the bowler. +Then there are roundabouts uncountable, and gymnasia abundant. There are +bosquets for the love-makers, and glassy pools, studded with islands +innumerable, over which many a Lady of the Lake steers her shallop, +while Oriental sailor-boys canoe wildly along. There are flower-beds +which need not blush to be compared with Kew or the Crystal Palace. But +it is not with such that we are now concerned. On one of those same +lakes over which, on Saturday evening, sailors in embryo float their +mimic craft--and one young gentleman, slightly in advance of the rest, +directs a very miniature steamship--we see boards suggesting that daily, +from four to eight A.M., the Orientals may immerse themselves in the +limpid and most tempting waters. The depth, they are paternally +informed, increases towards the centre, buoys marking where it is six +feet; so that our Eastern friends have no excuse for suicide by +drowning. + +East London birds are early birds, and to catch them at their bath you +must be literally up with the lark. Towards six o'clock is the most +fashionable hour for our metropolitan Pactolus; and, as it is some miles +distant from what can, by any stretch of courtesy, be called the West +End, and as there are no workmen's trains on a Sunday morning, a long +walk or cab drive is inevitable for all who would witness the disporting +of our amphibious Orientals. Rising thus betimes on a recent "Sunday +morning before the bells did ring," I sped me to the bathing pond, +judiciously screened off by shrubs from the main path. It was between +the appointed hours that I arrived; and, long before I saw anything, the +ringing laughter of the young East reached me through the shrubs. +Threading the path which led to the lake, I found the water literally +alive with men, boys, and hobbledehoys, revelling in the water like +young hippopotami on the Nile. Boys were largely in the ascendant--boys +from ten to fifteen years of age swam like young Leanders, and sunned +themselves on the bank, in the absence of towels, as the preparative to +dressing, or smoked their pipes in a state of nature. It is only just to +say that while I remained, I heard little if any language that could be +called "foul." Very free and easy, of course, were the remarks, and +largely illustrative of the vulgar tongue; not without a share of light +chaff directed against myself, whose presence by the lake-side puzzled +my young friends. I received numerous invitations to "peel" and have a +dip; and one young urchin assured me in the most patronizing way +possible that he "wouldn't laugh at me" if I could not get on. The +language may not have been quite so refined as that which I heard a few +days before from the young gentlemen with tall hats and blue ties at +Lord's; but I do say advisedly that it would more than bear comparison +with that of the bathers in the Serpentine, where my ears have often +been assailed with something far worse than anything I heard in East +London. In the matter of clothes, too, the apparel of our young friends +was indeed Eastern in its simplicity; yet they left it unprotected on +the bank with a confidence that did honour to our common humanity in +general, and to the regulations of Victoria Park in particular. Swimming +in some sort was almost universal among the bathers, showing that their +visit to the water was not an isolated event in their existence, but a +constant as it is a wholesome habit. The Oriental population were for +the most part apparently well fed; and one saw there lithe and active +frames, either careering gracefully along in the old style of swimming, +or adopting the new and scientific method which causes the human form +divine to approach very nearly to the resemblance of a rather excited +grampus. + +But inexorable Time warns the youthful bathers that they must sacrifice +to the Graces; and some amusing incidents occur during the process. +Generally speaking, though the amount of attire is not excessive, +considerable effort in the way of pinning and hitching is required to +get things in their proper places. A young gentleman was reduced to +inexpressible grief, and held up to the scorn of his fellow-bathers, by +the fact that, in the course of his al fresco toilette, one of his feet +went through his inexpressibles in an honourable quarter, instead of +proceeding by the proper route; the error interested his friends +vastly--for they are as critical as the most fastidious could be of any +singularity in attire, and they held the unfortunate juvenile in his +embarrassing position for a long time, to his intense despair, until he +was rescued from his ignoble position by some grown-up friend. Then, +the young East is prone to the pleasures of tobacco. It was, I presume, +before breakfast with most of the bathers, and smoking under those +conditions is a trial even to the experienced. Some, pale from their +long immersion--for theirs was no transient dip--grew paler still after +they had discussed the pipe or cigar demanded of them by rigorous +custom. Fashion reigns supreme among the gamins of the East as well as +among the ladies of the West. Off they went, however, cleaner and +fresher than before--tacitly endorsing by their matutinal amusement the +motto that has come down from the philosopher of old, and even now +reigns supreme from Bermondsey to Belgravia, that "water is a most +excellent thing." + +The day may arrive perhaps when, having embanked the Thames, we shall +follow suit to the Seine and the Rhine, by tenanting it with cheap baths +for the many. Until we do so, the stale joke of the "Great Unwashed" +recoils upon ourselves, and is no less symptomatic of defective sanitary +arrangements than the possibility of a drought in Bermondsey. But we are +forgetting our bathers. They have gone, leaving the place to +solitude--some, I hope, home to breakfast, others out among the +flower-walks or on the greensward. It is a gloomy, overcast, muggy, +unseasonable July morning; and the civil attendant by the lake-side +tells me that the gathering has not been so large as usual. The young +Orientals--as is the custom of their race--love sunshine. They get +little enough of it, Heaven knows. The next bright Sunday morning, any +one who happens to be awake between the hours mentioned, and who would +like to add to his experiences of metropolitan existence, may do a worse +thing, and see many a less pleasant sight, than if he hailed a hansom +and drove by the principal entrance of Victoria Park to our Eastern +Bath. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + +AMONG THE QUAKERS. + + +There is no more engaging or solemn subject of contemplation than the +decay of a religious belief. Right or wrong, by that faith men have +lived and died, perhaps for centuries; and one cannot see it pass out +from the consciousness of humanity without something more than a cursory +thought as to the reasons of its decadence. Being led by exceptional +causes to take a more than common interest in those forms of belief +which lie beyond the pale of the Church of England, I was attracted by a +notice in the public journals that on the following morning the Society +of Friends would assemble from all parts of England and open a +Conference to inquire into the causes which had brought about the +impending decay of their body. So, then, the fact of such decay stood +confessed. In most cases the very last persons to realize the unwelcome +truth are those who hold the doctrines that are becoming effete. +Quakerism must, I felt, be in a very bad condition indeed when its own +disciples called together a conference to account for its passing away. +Neither men nor communities, as a rule, act crowner's 'quest on their +own decease. That faith, it was clear, must be almost past praying for +which, disbelieving, as our modern Quietism does, the efficacy of +assemblies, and trusting all to the inward illumination of individuals, +should yet summon a sort of Quaker Oecumenical Council. I thought I +should like to probe this personal light myself, and by inquiring of one +or two of the members of the body, learn what they thought of the +matter. I was half inclined to array myself in drab, and _tutoyer_ the +first of the body I chanced to encounter in my walks abroad. But then it +occurred to me how very seldom one did meet a Quaker nowadays except in +the "month of Maying." I actually had to cast about for some time before +I could select from a tolerably wide and heterogeneous circle of +acquaintance two names of individuals belonging to the Society of +Friends; though I could readily remember half a dozen of every other +culte, from Ultramontanes down to Jumpers. These two, at all events, I +would "interview," and so forestall the Conference with a little select +synod of my own. + +It was possible, of course, to find a ludicrous side to the question; +but, as I said, I approached it seriously. Sydney Smith, with his +incorrigible habit of joking, questioned the existence of Quaker +babies--a position which, if proven, would, of course, at once account +for the diminution of adult members of the sect. It was true I had never +seen a Quaker infant; but I did not therefore question their existence, +any more than I believed postboys and certain humble quadrupeds to be +immortal because I had never seen a dead specimen of either. The +question I acknowledged at once to be a social and religious, not a +physiological one. Why is Quakerism, which has lived over two hundred +years, from the days of George Fox, and stood as much persecution as any +system of similar age, beginning to succumb to the influences of peace +and prosperity? Is it the old story of Capua and Cannæ over again? +Perhaps it is not quite correct to say that it is now beginning to +decline; nor, as a fact, is this Conference the first inquiry which the +body itself has made into its own incipient decay. It is even said that +symptoms of such an issue showed themselves as early as the beginning of +the eighteenth century; and prize essays have been from time to time +written as to the causes, before the Society so far fell in with the +customs of the times as to call a council for the present very difficult +and delicate inquiry. The first prize essay by William Rountree +attributes the falling off to the fact that the early Friends, having +magnified a previously slighted truth--that of the Indwelling Word--fell +into the natural error of giving it an undue place, so depriving their +representations of Christian doctrine of the symmetry they would +otherwise have possessed, and influencing their own practices in such a +way as to contract the basis on which Christian fellowship rests. A +second prize essay, called "The Peculium," takes a still more practical +view, and points out in the most unflattering way that the Friends, by +eliminating from their system all attention to the arts, music, poetry, +the drama, &c., left nothing for the exercise of their faculties save +eating, drinking, and making money. "The growth of Quakerism," says Mr. +T. Hancock, the author of this outspoken essay, "lies in its +enthusiastic tendency. The submission of Quakers to the commercial +tendency is signing away the life of their own schism. Pure enthusiasm +and the pursuit of money (which _is_ an enthusiasm) can never coexist, +never co-operate; but," he adds, "the greatest loss of power reserved +for Quakerism is the reassumption by the Catholic Church of those +Catholic truths which Quakerism was separated to witness and to +vindicate." + +I confess myself, however, so far Quaker too that I care little for the +written testimony of friends or foes. I have, in all my religious +wanderings and inquiries, adopted the method of oral examination; so I +found myself on a recent November morning speeding off by rail to the +outskirts of London to visit an ancient Quaker lady whom I knew very +slenderly, but who I had heard was sometimes moved by the spirit to +enlighten a little suburban congregation, and was, therefore, I felt the +very person to enlighten me too, should she be thereunto moved. She was +a venerable, silver-haired old lady, clad in the traditional dress of +her sect, and looking very much like a living representation of +Elizabeth Fry. She received me very cordially; though I felt as if I +were a fussy innovation of the nineteenth century breaking in upon the +sacred, old-fashioned quiet of her neat parlour. She "thee'd and thou'd" +me to my heart's content: and--to summarize the conversation I held with +her--it was to the disuse of the old phraseology and the discarding of +the peculiar dress that she attributed most of the falling off which she +was much too shrewd a woman of the world to shut her eyes to. These +were, of course, only the outward and visible signs of a corresponding +change within; but this was why the Friends fell off, and gravitated, as +she confessed they were doing, to steeple-houses, water-dipping, and +bread-and-wine-worship. She seemed to me like a quiet old Prophetess +Anna chanting a "Nunc Dimittis" of her own on the passing away of her +faith. She would be glad to depart before the glory had quite died out. +She said she did not hope much from the Conference, and, to my +amazement, rather gloried in the old irreverent title given by the +Independents to her forefathers from their "quaking and trembling" when +they heard the Word of God, though she preferred still more the older +title of "Children of the Light." She was, in fact, a rigid old +Conservative follower of George Fox, from the top of her close-bordered +cap to the skirts of her grey silk gown. I am afraid my countenance +expressed incredulity as to her rationale of the decay; for, as I rose +to go, she said, "Thou dost not agree, friend, with what I have said to +thee--nay, never shake thy head; it would be wonderful if thou didst, +when our own people don't. Stay; I'll give thee a note to my son in +London, though he will gainsay much of what I have told thee." She gave +me the letter, which was just what I wanted, for I felt I had gained +little beyond a pleasant experience of old-world life from my morning's +jaunt. I partook of her kindly hospitality, was shown over her +particularly cosy house, gardens, and hothouses, and meditated, on my +return journey, upon many particulars I learnt for the first time as to +the early history of Fox; realizing what a consensus there was between +the experiences of all illuminati. I smiled once and again over the +quaint title of one of Fox's books which my venerable friend had quoted +to me--viz., "A Battle-door for Teachers and Professors to learn Plural +and Singular. _You_ to _Many_, and _Thou_ to _One_; Singular, One, +_Thou_; Plural, Many, _You_." While so meditating, my cab deposited me +at the door of a decidedly "downy" house, at the West End, where my +prospective friend was practising in I will not mention which of the +learned professions. Both the suburban cottage of the mother and the +London ménage of the son assured me that they had thriven on Quakerism; +and it was only then I recollected that a poor Quaker was as rare a +personage as an infantile member of the Society. + +The young man--who neither in dress, discourse, nor manner differed +from an ordinary English gentleman--smiled as he read his mother's +lines, and, with a decorous apology for disturbing the impressions which +her discourse might have left upon me, took precisely the view which had +been latent in my own mind as to the cause of the Society's decay. +Thoroughly at one with them still on the doctrine of the illuminating +power of the Spirit in the individual conscience, he treated the archaic +dress, the obsolete phraseology, the obstinate opposition to many +innocent customs of the age, simply as anachronisms. He pointed with +pride to the fact that our greatest living orator was a member of the +Society; and claimed for the underlying principle of Quakerism--namely, +the superiority of a conscience void of offence over written scripture +or formal ceremony--the character of being in essence the _broadest_ +creed of Christendom. Injudicious retention of customs which had grown +meaningless had, he felt sure, brought down upon the body that most +fatal of all influences--contempt. "You see it in your own Church," he +said. "There is a school which, by reviving obsolete doctrines and +practices, will end in getting the Church of England disestablished as +it is already disintegrated. You see it even in the oldest religion of +all--Judaism. You see, I mean, a school growing into prominence and +power which discards all the accumulations of ages, and by going back to +real antiquity, at once brings the system more into unison with the +century, and prevents that contempt attaching to it which will accrue +wherever a system sets its face violently against the tone of current +society." He thought the Conference quite unnecessary. "There needs no +ghost come from the dead to tell us that, Horatio," he said, cheerily. +"They will find out that Quakerism is not a proselytizing religion," he +added; "which, of course, we knew before. They will point to the +fashionable attire, the gold rings, and lofty chignons of our younger +sisters as direct defiance of primitive custom. I am unorthodox +enough"--and he smiled as he used that word--"to think that the attire +is more becoming to my younger sisters, just as the Society's dress is +to my dear mother." That young man, and the youthful sisters he told me +of, stood as embodied answers to the question I had proposed to myself. +They were outward and visible evidences of the doctrine of Quaker +"development." The idea is not dead. The spirit is living still. It is +the spirit that underlies all real religion--namely, the personal +relation of the human soul to God as the source of illumination. That +young man was as good a Quaker at heart as George Fox or William Penn +themselves; and the "apology" he offered for his transformed faith was a +better one than Barclay's own. I am wondering whether the Conference +will come to anything like so sensible a conclusion as to why Quakerism +is declining. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + +PENNY READINGS. + + +Who has ever penetrated beneath the surface of clerical society--meaning +thereby the sphere of divinities (mostly female) that doth hedge a +curate of a parish--without being sensible of the eligibility of Penny +Readings for a place in Mystic London? When the Silly Season is at its +very bathos; when the monster gooseberries have gone to seed and the +showers of frogs ceased to fall; after the matrimonial efforts of +Margate or Scarborough, and before the more decided business of the +Christmas Decorations, then there is deep mystery in the penetralia of +every parish. The great scheme of Penny Readings is being concocted, and +all the available talent of the district--all such as is "orthodox" and +"correct"--is laid under contribution. + +It is true to a proverb that we English people have a knack of doing the +best possible things in the worst possible way; and that not +unfrequently when we do once begin doing them we do them to death. It +takes some time to convince us that the particular thing is worth doing +at all; but, once persuaded, we go in for it with all our British might +and main. The beard-and-moustache movement was a case in point. Some +years ago a moustache was looked upon by serious English people as +decidedly reckless and dissipated. A beard was fit only for a bandit. +Nowadays, the mildest youth in the Young Men's Christian Association may +wear a moustache without being denounced as "carnal," and paterfamilias +revels in the beard of a sapeur, no misopogon daring to say him nay. To +no "movement," however, does the adage "Vires acquirit eundo" apply more +thoroughly than to that connected with "Penny Readings." Originally +cropping up timidly in rustic and suburban parishes, it has of late +taken gigantic strides, and made every parish where it does _not_ exist, +rural or metropolitan, very exceptional indeed. There was a sound +principle lying at the bottom of the movement, in so far as it was +designed to bring about a fusion of classes; though, perhaps, it +involved too much of an assumption that the "working man" had to be +lectured to, or read to, by his brother in purple and fine linen. Still +the theory was so far sound. Broad cloth was to impart to fustian the +advantages it possessed in the way of reading, singing, fiddling, or +what not; and that not gratuitously, which would have offended the +working man's dignity, but for the modest sum of one penny, which, +whilst Lazarus was not too poor to afford, Dives condescended to accept, +and apply to charitable purposes. + +Such being, in brief, the theory of the Penny Reading movement, it may +be interesting to see how it is carried out in practice. Now, in order +to ascertain this, I availed myself of several opportunities afforded by +the commencement of the Penny Reading season, which may be said to +synchronize very nearly with the advent of London fogs, and attended the +opening of the series in several widely different localities. In +describing my experiences it would perhaps be invidious to specify the +exact locality where they were gathered. I prefer to collate those +experiences which range from Campden Hill to Camden Town inclusive. Amid +many distinguishing traits there are common elements traceable in all, +which may enable us to form some estimate of the working of the scheme, +and possibly to offer a few words of advice to those interested therein. + +In most cases the Penny Readings are organized by the parochial clergy. +We will be orthodox, and consider them so to be on the present occasion. +In that case, the series would probably be opened by the incumbent in +person. Some ecclesiastical ladies, young and middle-aged, who, rightly +or wrongly, believe their mission is music, and to whom the curate is +very probably an attraction, aid his efforts. Serious young men read, +and others of a more mundane turn of mind sing doleful "comic" songs, +culled from the more presentable of the music-hall répertoire. In many +cases skilled amateurs or professionals lend their valuable assistance; +and it is not too much to say that many a programme is presented to the +audience--ay, and faithfully carried out too--which would do credit to a +high-priced concert-room. But, then, who make up the audience? Gradually +the "penny" people have been retiring into the background, as slowly but +as surely as the old-fashioned pits at our theatres are coyly +withdrawing under the boxes to make way for the stalls. The Penny +Readings have been found to "draw" a higher class of audience than those +for whom they were originally intended. The curate himself, if +unmarried, secures the whole spinsterhood of the parish. His rendering +of the lines, "On the receipt of my mother's picture out of Norfolk," is +universally acknowledged to be "delightful;" and so, in course of time, +the Penny Readings have been found to supply a good parochial income; +and the incumbent, applying the proceeds to some local charity, +naturally wishes to augment that income as much as possible. The +consequence is that the penny people are as completely nowhere at the +Penny Readings as they are in the free seats at their parish church. The +whole of the body of the room is "stalled off," so to say, for sixpenny +people, and the penny folk are stowed away anywhere. Then, again, in +several programmes I have been at the pains to analyse, it is palpable +that, whilst the bulk of the extracts fire over the heads of the poor +people, one or two are inserted which are as studiously aimed at them as +the parson's remarks in last Sunday's sermon against public-house +loafing. Still "naming no names," I attended some readings where one of +the clergy read a long extract from Bailey's "Festus," whilst he was +succeeded by a vulgar fellow, evidently put in for "the gods," who +delivered himself of a parody on Ingoldsby, full of the coarsest +slang--nay, worse than that, abounding in immoralities which, I hope, +made the parochial clergy sit on thorns, and place the reader on their +"Index Expurgatorius" from henceforth. + +Excellent in its original design, the movement is obviously degenerating +into something widely different. First, I would say, Let your Penny +Readings be really Penny Readings, and not the egregious _lucus a non_ +they now are. If there is any distinction, the penny people should have +the stalls, and then, _if there were room_, the "swells" (I must use an +offensive term) could come in for sixpence, and stand at the back. But +there should be no difference at all. Dives and Lazarus should sit +together, or Dives stop away if he were afraid his fine linen may get +soiled. Lazarus, at all events, must not be lost sight of, or treated to +second best. The experiment of thus mingling them has been tried, I +know, and succeeds admirably. Dives and Lazarus _do_ hobnob; and though +the former occasionally tenders a silver coin for his entrée, he does +not feel that he is thereby entitled to a better seat. The committee +gets the benefit of his liberality; and when the accounts are audited in +the spring, Lazarus is immensely pleased at the figure his pence make. +Then, again, as to the quality of the entertainment. Let us remember +Lazarus comes there to be elevated. That was the theory we set out +with--that we, by our reading, or our singing, or fiddling, or +tootle-tooing on the cornet, could civilize our friend in fustian. Do +not let us fall into the mistake, then, of descending to his standard. +We want to level him up to ours. Give him the music we play in our own +drawing-rooms; read the choice bits of fiction or poetry to his wife and +daughters which we should select for our own. Amuse his poor little +children with the same innocent nonsense with which we treat our young +people. Above all, don't bore him. I do not say, never be serious, +because it is a great mistake to think Lazarus can only guffaw. Read +"The Death of Little Nell" or of Paul Dombey, and look at Mrs. Lazarus's +eyes. Read Tom Hood's "Song of the Shirt," and see whether the poor +seamstress out in the draughty penny seats at the back appreciates it or +not. I did hear of one parish at the West End--the very same, by the +way, I just now commended for sticking to the "penny" system--where +Hood's "Nelly Gray," proposed to be read by the son of one of our best +known actors, was tabooed as "unedifying." Lazarus does not come to be +"edified," but to be amused. If he can be at the same time instructed, +so much the better; but the bitter pill must be highly gilded, or he +will pocket his penny and spend it in muddy beer at the public-house. +If the Penny Reading can prevent this--and we see no reason why it +should not--it will have had a mission indeed. Finally, I feel sure that +there is in this movement, and lying only a very little way from the +surface, a wholesome lesson for Dives too; and that is, how little +difference there is, after all, between himself and Lazarus. I have been +surprised to see how some of the more recherché "bits" of our genuine +humorists have told upon the penny people, and won applause which the +stalest burlesque pun or the nastiest music-hall inanity would have +failed to elicit. Lazarus must be represented on the platform then, as +well as comfortably located in the audience. He must be asked to read, +or sing, or fiddle, or do whatever he can. If not, he will feel he is +being read at, or sung to, or fiddled for, and will go off to the Magpie +and Stump, instead of bringing missus and the little ones to the +"pa'son's readings." Let the Penny Reading teach us the truth--and how +true it is--that we are all "working men." What matters it whether we +work with head or with hand--with brain or muscle? + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +DARWINISM ON THE DEVIL. + + +It has been said--perhaps more satirically than seriously--that theology +could not get on without its devil. Certain it is that wherever there +has been a vivid realization of the Spirit of Light, there, as if by way +of antithesis, there has been an equally clear recognition of the Power +of Darkness. Ormuzd--under whatever name recognised--generally supposes +his opponent Ahriman; and there have even been times, as in the +prevalence of the Manichean heresy, when the Evil Spirit has been +affected in preference to the good--probably only another way of saying +that morals have been held subordinate to intellect. But I am growing at +once prosy and digressive. + +The announcement that the "Liberal Social Union" would devote one of +their sweetly heretical evenings at the Beethoven Rooms, Harley Street, +to an examination of the Darwinian development of the Evil Spirit, was +one not to be scorned by an inquirer into the more eccentric and erratic +phases of theology. Literary engagements stood in the way--for the +social heretics gather on a Friday--but come what might, I would hear +them discuss diabolism. Leaving my printer's devil to indulge in +typographical errors according to his own sweet will (and I must confess +he _did_ wander), I presented myself, as I thought in good time, at the +portals of the Harley Street room, where his Satanic Majesty was to be +heretically anatomized. But, alas! I had not calculated aright the power +of that particular potentate to "draw." No sooner had I arrived at the +cloak-room than the very hats and umbrellas warned me of the number of +his votaries. Evening Dress was "optional;" and I frankly confess, at +whatever risk of his displeasure, that I had not deemed Mephistopheles +worthy of a swallow-tailed coat. I came in the garb of ordinary life; +and at once felt uncomfortable when, mounting the stairs, I was received +by a portly gentleman and an affable lady in violent tenue de soir. The +room was full to the very doors; and as soon as I squeezed into earshot +of the lecturer (who had already commenced his discourse) I was greeted +by a heterodox acquaintance in elaborate dress-coat and rose-pink +gloves. Experience in such matters had already told me--and thereupon I +proved it by renewed personal agony--that an Englishman never feels so +uncomfortable as when dressed differently from his compeers at any kind +of social gathering. Mrs. T---- asks you to dinner, and you go clad in +the correct costume in deference to the prandial meal, but find all the +rest in morning dress. Mrs. G----, on the contrary, sends you a +rollicking note to feed with a few friends--no party; and you go +straight from office to find a dozen heavily-got-up people sniggering at +your frock coat and black tie. However, as I said, on this occasion the +lecturer, Dr. Zerffi, was in the thick of what proved to be a very +attractive lecture; so I was not the observed of all observers for more +than two or three minutes, and was able to give him my whole attention +as soon as I had recovered from my confusion. Dr. Zerffi said:-- + +Dr. Darwin's theory of evolution and selection has changed our modern +mode of studying the inorganic and organic phenomena of nature, and +investigating the realities of truth. His theory is not altogether new, +having been first proclaimed by Leibnitz, and followed up with regard to +history by Giovanni Battista Vico. Oken and Goethe amplified it towards +the end of the last, and at the beginning of the present century. +Darwin, however, has systematized the theory of evolution, and now the +branches of human knowledge can only be advantageously pursued if we +trace in all phenomena, whether material or spiritual, a beginning and a +gradual development. One fact has prominently been established, that +there is order in the eternal change, that this order is engendered by +law, and that law and order are the criterions of an all-wise ruling +Spirit pervading the Universe. To this positive spirit of law a spirit +of negation, an element of rebellion and mischief, of mockery and +selfishness, commonly called the Devil, has been opposed from the +beginning. + +It appeared, till very lately, as though God had created the world only +for the purpose of amusing the Devil, and giving him an abundance of +work, all directed to destroying the happiness of God's finest +creation--man. Treating the Devil from a Darwinian point of view, we may +assert that he developed himself from the protoplasm of ignorance, and +in the gloomy fog of fear and superstition grew by degrees into a +formidable monster, being changed by the overheated imaginations of +dogmatists into a reptile, an owl, a raven, a dog, a wolf, a lion, a +centaur, a being half monkey, half man, till, finally, he became a +polite and refined human being. + +Man once having attained a certain state of consciousness, saw sickness, +evil, and death around him, and as it was usual to assign to every +effect some tangible cause, man developed the abstract notion of evil +into a concrete form, which changed with the varying impressions of +climate, food, and the state of intellectual progress. To the white man +the Devil was black, and to the black man white. Originally, then, the +Devil was merely a personification of the apparently destructive forces +of nature. Fire was his element. The Indians had their Rakshas and +Uragas, the Egyptians their Typhon, and the Persians their Devas. The +Israelites may claim the honour of having brought the theory of evil +into a coarse and sensual form, and the Christians took up this +conception, and developed it with the help of the Gnostics, Plato, and +the Fathers dogmatically into an entity. + +I shall not enter on a minute inquiry into the origin of this formidable +antagonist of common sense and real piety; I intend to take up the three +principal phases of the Devil's development, at a period when he already +appears to us as a good Christian Devil, and always bearing in mind Mr. +Darwin's theory of evolution, I shall endeavour to trace spiritually the +changes in the conceptions of evil from the Devil of Luther to that of +Milton, and at last to that of Goethe. + +The old Jewish Rabbis and theological doctors were undoubtedly the first +to trace, genealogically, the pedigree of the Christian Devil in its +since general form. If we take the trouble to compare chap. i. v. 27 of +Genesis with chap. ii. v. 21, we will find that two distinct creations +of man are given. The one is different from the other. In the first +instance we have the clear, indisputable statement, "So God created man +in his own image:" and to give greater force to this statement the text +goes on, "in the image of God created he him; male and female created he +them." Both man and woman were then created. Nothing could be plainer. +But as though no creation of man had taken place at all, we find, chap. +ii. v. 7: "And the Lord formed man of the dust of the ground, and +breathed into his nostrils the breath of life." This was evidently a +second man, differently created from the first, who is stated to have +been made "in the image of God himself." This second creature was +entrusted with the nomination and classification of all created things; +that is, with the formation of language, and the laying down of the +first principles of botany and zoology. After he had performed this +arduous task it happened that "for Adam there was not found an help meet +for him" (verse 20), and chap. ii. v. 21 tells us, "The Lord God caused +a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his +ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof;" and verse 22, "And of the +rib which the Lord God had taken from man made He a woman, and brought +her unto man." Adam then joyfully exclaims (verse 23), "This _is_ now +bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh." This cannot but lead to the +conclusion that this woman was an altogether different creature from the +first. The contradiction was most ingeniously explained by the learned +Jewish Rabbis, who considered the first woman the organic germ from +which the special Hebrew-Christian devils were evolved. The Rabbis +discovered that the name of the first woman was "Lilith"[1] (the +nightly); they knew positively--and who can disprove their +assertion?--that she was the most perfect beauty, more beautiful than +Eve; she had long waving hair, bright eyes, red lips and cheeks, and a +charmingly finished form and complexion; but having been created at the +same moment as the first man, and like him, in the image of God, she +refused to become man's wife; she objected to being subordinate to the +male part of creation--she was, in fact, the first strong-minded woman, +claiming the same rights as man, though a woman in body and form. Under +these circumstances the existence of the human race was deemed to be an +impossibility, and therefore the Lord had to make good his error, and He +created Eve as the completing part of man. The first woman left her +co-equally created male, and was changed into an enormous, most +beautiful, and seducing "She Devil," and her very thoughts brought forth +daily a legion of devils--incarnations of pride, vanity, conceit, and +unnaturalness. Happily these devils were so constituted that they +devoured one another. But in their rage they could take possession of +others, and more especially entered little children--boys under three +days old, girls under twenty days--and devoured them. This myth, by +means of evolution and the law of action and re-action, engendered the +further legend about the existence of three special angels who acted as +powerful antidotes to these devils, and whose names, "Senoi, Sansenoi, +and Sanmangeloph," if written on a piece of parchment suspended round +the neck of children afforded certain protection against them. + +The origin of the Devil may thus be traced to the first vain contempt +for the eternal laws of nature. The woman, refusing to be a woman, +engenders devils; the man, trying to be a God, loses paradise and his +innocence, for the element of the supernatural intruded upon him and +abstracted his thoughts from this earth. These were the half idealistic +and half realistic elements from which the three greatest spiritual +incarnations of the Evil Spirit sprung up. Luther took the Evil Spirit +as a bodily entity, with big horns, fiery eyes, a reddish, protruding +tongue, a long tail, and the hoof of a horse. In this latter attribute +we trace at once the Kentaur element of ancient times. Through nearly +one thousand three hundred years from Tertullian and Thaumaturgus down +to Luther, every one was accustomed to look upon life as one great +battle with tens of thousands of devils, assaulting, harassing, +annoying, and seducing humanity. All fought, quarrelled, talked, and +wrestled with the Devil. He was more spoken of in the pulpits of the +Christian Churches, written about in theological and scientific books, +than God or Christ. All misfortunes were attributed to him. Thunder and +lightning, hailstorms and the rinderpest, the hooping cough and +epileptic fits were all the Devil's work. A man who suffered from +madness was said to be possessed by a legion of Evil Spirits. The Devil +settled himself in the gentle dimples of a pretty girl with the same +ease and comfort as in the wrinkles of an old woman. Everything that +was inexplicable was evil. Throughout the Middle Ages the masses and the +majority of their learned theological teachers believed the Greek and +Latin classics were inspired by Evil Spirits; that sculptures or +paintings, if beautiful, were of evil; that all cleverness in +Mathematics, Chemistry, or Medicine proved the presence of the +corrupting Evil Spirit working in man. Any bridge over a chasm or a +rapid river was the work of the Devil; even the most beautiful Gothic +cathedrals, like those of Cologne and St. Stephen at Vienna were +constructed by architects who served their apprenticeship in the +infernal regions. The Devil sat grinning on the inkstands of poets and +learned men, dictating to the poor deluded mortals, as the price for +their souls, charming love-songs or deep theological and philosophical +essays. It was extremely dangerous during this period of man's +historical evolution to be better or wiser than the ignorant masses. +Learning, talent, a superior power of reasoning, love for truth, a +spirit of inquiry, the capacity of making money by clever trading, an +artistic turn of mind, success in life, even in the Church, were only so +many proofs that the soul had been sold to some dwarfish or giant +messenger from Lucifer, who could appear in a thousand different forms. +Man was, since his assumed Fall, the exclusive property of the coarse +and vulgar conception of the Evil Spirit. Luther was full of these +ideas, he was brought up in this belief, and though he unconsciously +felt that the Devil ought to be expelled from our creed, he did not dare +to attempt the reform of humanity by annihilating the mischief-maker: he +could not rob man of his dearest spiritual possession; had he thought of +consigning the Devil to the antediluvian period of our moral and social +formation, he never could have succeeded in his reform. The Devil, in +fact, was his strongest helpmate; he could describe the ritual of the +Romish Church as the work of the Evil Spirit, produced to delude +mankind. The Devil had his Romish prayers, his processions, his worship +of relics, his remission of sins, his confessional, his infernal synods; +he was to Luther an active, rough, and material incarnation of the +roaring lion of the Scriptures in the shape of the Romish Church, +walking about visibly, tangibly, bodily amongst men, devouring all who +believed in the Pope, and who disbelieved in this stupid phantom of a +dogmatically blinded imagination. + +The Evolution-theory may be clearly traced in the two next conceptions: +Milton's Satan and Goethe's Mephistopheles. They differ as strongly as +the periods and the poems in which they appear. Milton's Satan loses the +vulgar flesh and bone, horn and hoof nature--he is an epic character; +whilst Goethe's Devil is an active dramatic entity of modern times. +Milton's representative of evil is a very powerful conception--it is +evil in abstracto; whilst Mephistopheles is evil in concreto--the +intelligible, tangible Devil, evolved by the power of selection from an +antediluvian monster, and transformed through a civilizing process of at +least six thousand years into its present form. Milton's Satan is a +debased intellect who in his boundless ambition is still a supernatural +being. Mephistopheles is the incarnation of our complicated modern +social evils, full of petty tricks and learned quotations; he piously +turns up his eyes, he lies, doubts, calumniates, seduces, philosophizes, +sneers, but all in a polite and highly educated way; he is a scholar, a +divine, a politician, a diplomatist. Satan is capable of wild +enthusiasm, he sometimes remembers his bright sinless past; "from the +lowest deep," he yearns, "once more to lift himself up, in spite of +fate, nearer to his ancient seat;"--he hopes to re-enter heaven, "to +purge off his gloom;" some remnant of heavenly innocence still clings to +him, for, though _fallen_, he is still an _angel_! Mephistopheles in his +real nature is without any higher aspirations, he argues with a +sarcastic smile on his lips, he is ironical with sophisticated +sharpness. Satan has unconsciously gigantic ideas, he is ready to +wrestle with God for the dominion of heaven. Mephistopheles is perfectly +conscious of his littleness as opposed to our better intellectual +nature, and does evil for evil's sake. Satan is sublime through the +grandeur of his primitive elements, pride and ambition. Mephistopheles +is only grave in his pettiness; he does not refuse an orgie with +drunken students, indulges in jokes with monkeys, works miracles in the +witch's kitchen, delights in the witch's "one-time-one;" distributes +little tracts "to stir up the witch's heart with special fire." Satan +has nothing vulgar in him: he is capable of melancholy feelings, he can +be pathetic and eloquent. Mephistopheles laughs at the stupidity of the +world, and at his own. Satan believes in God and in himself, whilst +Mephistopheles is the "Spirit that denies;" he believes neither in God +nor in heaven nor in hell; he does not believe in his own entity--he is +no supernatural, fantastic being, but man incarnate: he is the evil part +of a good whole, which loses its entity when once seen and recognised in +its real nature; for Mephistopheles in reality is our own ignorant, +besotted, animal nature, cultivated and developed at the expense of our +intellectual part. + +Luther's devil is the outgrowth of humanity in long-clothes. Man, +ignorant of the forces of the Cosmos, blinded by theological dialectics +and metaphysical subtleties, incapable of understanding the real essence +of our moral and intellectual nature, philosophically untrained to +observe that evil is but a sequence of the disturbed balance between our +double nature--spirit and matter--attributed all mischief in the +intellectual as well as in our social spheres to an absolute powerful +being who continually tormented him. + +Milton's Satan is the poetical conception of man developed from an +infant in long-clothes into a boisterous but dreamy youth, ascribing to +every incomprehensible effect an arbitrary, poetical cause. Goethe's +Mephistopheles, lastly is the truthful conception of evil as it really +exists in a thousand forms, evolved from our own misunderstood and +artificially and dogmatically distorted nature. + +Goethe in destroying the Devil as such, consigned him to the primeval +myths and legends of ignorance and fear, and has shown us the real +nature of the evil. + +What then is the Devil? + +The Devil took, as I said in the beginning, his origin in our blinded +senses, in an undue preponderance of that which is material in us over +that which is intellectual. The moment we look the Evil Spirit in the +face, he vanishes as an _absolute_ being and becomes-- + + A portion of that power + Which wills the bad and works the good at every hour. + +After having been exposed during several periods of generations to new +conditions, thus rendering a great amount of variation possible, the +Devil has developed from a monster into a monkey, and from a monkey into +a man endowed with the nature of a monkey and the propensities of a +monster. In the State and in the Church, in Arts and Sciences, the Devil +is the principle of injustice, hypocrisy, ugliness, and ignorance. +Goethe has annihilated the ideal poetical grandeur of Milton's Satan; he +has stripped Luther's Devil of his vulgar realism; Goethe has driven +Satan from an imaginary hell, where he preferred to rule instead of +worshipping and serving in heaven, and with the sponge of common sense +he wiped the horned monster, drawn by the imagination of dogmatists, +from the black board of ignorance. In banishing the Evil Spirit into the +dominion of myths, Goethe showed him in his real nature. Darwin +displaced man from the exalted pedestal of a special creation, and +endeavoured to trace him as the development of cosmical elements. Darwin +enabled us to look upon man as the completing link in the great chain of +the gradual evolution of the life-giving forces of the Universe, and he +rendered thus our position more comprehensible and natural. Goethe, in +proving that the Evil Spirit of ancient and Hebrew-Christian times was a +mere phantom of an ill-regulated fantasy, taught us to look for the real +origin of evil. What was a metaphysical incomprehensibility became an +intelligible reality. The Demon can be seen in "Faust" as in a mirror, +and in glancing into it we behold our Darwinian progenitor, the animal, +face to face. Before the times of Goethe, with very few exceptions, the +Evil Spirit was an entity with whom any one might become familiar--in +fact, the "spiritus familiaris" of old. The Devil spoke, roared, +whispered, could sign contracts. We were able to yield our soul to him; +and he could bodily enter our body. The Devil was a corporeal entity. +The rack, water, and fire were used to expel him from sorcerers and +witches, and to send him into all sorts of unclean animals. Goethe, in +unmasking this phantom, introduced him not as something _without_, but +as an element _within_ us. The service rendered to humanity in showing +us the true nature of evil is as grand as the service rendered by Mr. +Darwin in assigning to man his place _in_ nature, and not _above_ +nature. It is curious that those who have most of the incorrigible and +immovable animal nature in them should protest with the greatest +vehemence and clamour against this theory. They think by asserting their +superiority, based on a special creation, to become at once special and +superior beings, and prefer this position to trying, through a +progressive development in science and knowledge, in virtue and honesty, +to prove the existence of the higher faculties with which man has been +endowed through his gradual development from the lowest phases of living +creatures to the highest. In assuming the Devil to be something absolute +and positive, and not something relative and negative, man hoped to be +better able to grapple with him. Mephistopheles is nothing personal; he +can, like the Creator himself, be only traced in his works. The Devil +lurks beneath the venerable broadcloth of an intolerant and ignorant +priest; he uses the seducing smiles of a wicked beauty; he stirs the +blood of the covetous and grasping; he strides through the gilded halls +of ambitious emperors and ministers, who go with "light hearts" to kill +thousands of human beings with newly-invented infernal machines; he +works havoc in the brains of the vain. The Devil shuffles the cards for +the gambler, and destroys our peace whether he makes us win or lose on +the turf; he sits joyfully grinning on the tops of bottles and tankards +filled with alcoholic drinks; he entices us on Sundays to shut our +museums and open our gin-palaces; to neglect the education of the +masses; and then prompts us to accuse them with hypocritical +respectability of drunkenness and stupidity. It is the Devil who turns +us into friends of lapdogs and makes us enemies of the homeless. The +Devil is the greatest master in dogmatism; he creates sects who, in the +name of love and humility, foster hatred and pride; the Devil encloses +men in a magic circle on the barren heath of useless speculation; drives +them round and round like blinded horses in a mill, starting from one +point, and after miles and miles of travel and fatigue, leading us to +the point, sadder but not wiser, from which we set out. The Devil makes +us quarrel whether we ought to have schools with or without bigoted +religious teachings; he burns incense to stupefy our senses, lights +candles to obscure our sight, amuses the masses with buffooneries to +prevent them from thinking, draws us away from common-sense morality, +and leads us, under the pretext of a mystic and symbolic religion, to +the confessional, the very hothouse of mischief. Satan in all his +shapes and forms as he rules the world has been described by Goethe as +Egotism. Selfishness is his element and real nature. Selfishness not yet +realizing the divine, because so entirely _humane_ command--"Do unto +others as you wish that they should do unto you." Selfishness is the +only essence of evil. Selfishness has divided men into different +nations, and fosters in them pride, envy, jealousy, and hatred. Mr. +Darwin has shown that one animal preys on the other, that the weaker +species has to yield to the stronger. Goethe again has shown us how the +Evil Spirit drags us through life's wild scenes and its flat +unmeaningness, to seek mere sensual pleasures and to neglect altogether +our higher and better nature, which is the outgrowth of our more +complicated, more highly developed organization. Were we only to +recognise this, our real nature, we should leave less to chance and +prejudices; were we to study man from a physiological, psychological, +and honestly historical point of view, we should soon eliminate +selfishness from among us, and be able to appreciate what is really the +essence of evil. The more nearly we approach Darwin's primitive man, the +ape, the nearer do we draw to the Mephistopheles who shows us his exact +nature with impudent sincerity in Goethe's "Faust." + +That which changes our Psyche, that is our intellectual faculty with its +airy wings of imagination, its yearnings for truth, into an ugly, +submissive, crawling worm, is heartless selfishness. Not without reason +is poor guileless Margaret horrified at Mephistopheles. She shudders, +hides herself on the bosom of Faust, like a dove under the wings of an +eagle, and complains that the Evil Spirit-- + + ... Always wears such mocking grin, + Half cold, half grim, + One sees that nought has interest for him; + 'Tis writ on his brow, and can't be mistaken, + No soul in him can love awaken. + +When all goes wrong, when religious, social, and political animosities and +hatred disturb the peace; when unintelligible controversies on the +inherited sin, the origin of evil, justification, and transubstantiation, +"grace and free will," the creative and the created, mystic incantations, +real and unreal presences, the like but not equal, the affirmative and the +negative natures of God and man confuse the finite brains of infinite +talkers and repeaters of the same things; when they quarrel about the +wickedness of the hen who dared to lay an egg on the Sabbath; when the +glaring torch of warfare is kindled by the fire of petty animosities, then +the Evil Spirit of egotism celebrates its most glorious festivals. + +What can banish this monster, this second and worse part of our nature? +To look upon it from a Darwinian point of view. Goethe saves his fallen +Faust through useful "occupation," through honest hard work for the +benefit of mankind. The more we make ourselves acquainted with evil, the +last remnant of our animal nature, in a rational and not mystic +dogmatical sense, the less we exalt ourselves as exceptional creatures +above nature, the easier it must be for us to dry up the source of +superstition and ignorance which serves to nourish this social monster. + +Let our relations to each other be based on "mutual love," for God is +love, and selfishness as the antagonist of love, and the Devil as the +antagonist of God, will both vanish. + +Let us strive to vanquish our unnatural social organization by a +natural, social, but at the same time, liberal union of all into one +common brotherhood, and the roaring lion will be silenced for ever. + +Let us purify society of all its social, or rather unsocial, iniquities +and falsehoods, of all ingratitude and envy, in striving for an honest +regeneration of ourselves, and through ourselves of humanity at large, +convincing one another that man has developed by degrees into earth's +fairest creature, destined for good and happiness, and not for evil and +wretchedness, and there will be an end of the _Devil_ and all his +_devilries_. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[1] The word is found in Isaiah xxxiv. 14. Translated in the Vulgate as +"Lamia;" in Luther's translation as "Kobold;" in the English version as +"screech-owl;" and in others as "an ugly night-bird." + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +PECULIAR PEOPLE. + + +In this title, be it distinctly understood, no reference is intended to +those anti-Æsculapian persons who, from time to time, sacrifice to +Moloch among the Essex marshes. It is not necessary to journey even as +far as Plumstead in search of peculiarity, since the most manifold and +ever-varying types of it lie at one's very doors. And here, at the +outset, without quite endorsing the maxim that genius is always +eccentric, let it be confessed that a slight deviation from the beaten +track is generally apt to be interesting. When we see the photograph of +some distinguished artist, musician, or poet, and find the features very +like those of the pork butcher in the next street, or the footman over +the way, we are conscious of a feeling of disappointment almost +amounting to a personal grievance. Mr. Carlyle and Algernon Swinburne +satisfy us. They look as we feel graphic writers and erotic poets ought +to look. Not so the literary females who affect the compartment labelled +"For ladies only," in the reading room of the British Museum or on the +Metropolitan Railway. They are mostly like one's maiden aunts, and +savour far less of the authoress than some of the charming girls who +studiously avoid their exclusive locale, and evidently use their reading +ticket only to cover with an appearance of propriety a most unmistakable +flirtation. This they carry on sotto voce with ardent admirers of the +male sex, who, though regular frequenters of the reading room, are no +more literary than themselves. One might pick out a good many peculiar +people from that learned retreat--that poor scholar's club room; but let +us rather avoid any such byways of life, and select our peculiars from +the broad highway. Hunting there, Diogenes-wise, with one's modest +lantern, in search--not of honest--but eccentric individuals. + +And first of all, having duly attended to the ladies at the outset, let +there be "Place for the Clergy." There is my dear friend the Rev. Gray +Kidds, the best fellow breathing, but, from a Diogenes point of view, +decidedly eccentric. Gray Kidds is one of those individuals whose +peculiarity it is never to have been a boy. Kidds at fifteen had +whiskers as voluminous as he now has at six-and-twenty, and as he +gambolled heavily amongst his more puerile schoolfellows, visitors to +the playground used to ask the assistant masters who that man was +playing with the boys. They evidently had an uneasy notion that a +private lunatic asylum formed a branch of the educational establishment, +and that Gray Kidds was a harmless patient allowed to join the boys in +their sports. Gray Kidds was and is literally harmless. He grew up +through school and college, innocently avoiding all those evils which +proved the ruin of many who were deemed far wiser than himself. He +warbled feebly on the flute, and was adored as a curate, not only for +his tootle-tooings, but for his diligent presence at mothers' meetings, +and conscientious labours among the poor. A preacher Kidds never +pretended to be; but he had the singular merit of brevity, and crowded +more harmless heresies into ten minutes' pulpit oratory than Colenso or +Voysey could have done in double the time. The young ladies made a dead +set at him, of course, for Kidds was in every respect eligible; and he +let them stroke him like a big pet lamb, but there matters ended. Kidds +never committed himself. He is now the incumbent of a pretty church in +the suburbs, built for him by his aunt, and, strange to say, the church +fills. Whether it is that his brevity is attractive, or his transparent +goodness compensates for his other peculiarities, certainly he has a +congregation; and if you polled that congregation, the one point on +which all would agree, in addition to his eligibility or innocence, +would be that the Rev. Gray Kidds was "so funny." + +And now, for our second type of peculiarity, let us beat back for one +moment to the fair sex again. Mrs. Ghoul is the reverse of spirituelle; +but she is something more--she is spiritualistic. She devoutly believes +that the spirits of deceased ancestors come at her bidding, and tilt the +table, move furniture insanely about, or write idiotic messages +automatically. She is perfectly serious. She does "devoutly" believe +this. It is her creed. It is a comfort to her. It is extremely difficult +to reconcile such a source of comfort with any respect for one's +departed relatives, but that is Mrs. Ghoul's peculiarity and +qualification for a niche amongst our originals. + +Miss Deedy, on the other hand, is ecclesiastical to the backbone. Miss +Deedy ruins her already feeble health with early mattins (she insists on +the double t) and frequent fasts. Beyond an innocuous flirtation with +the curate at decorations, or a choral meeting, Miss Deedy has as few +sins as most of us to answer for; but, from her frequent penances, she +might be a monster of iniquity. She is known to confess, and is +suspected of wearing sackcloth. Balls and theatres she eschews as +"worldly," and yet she is only just out of her teens. She would like to +be a nun, she says, if the habits were prettier, and they allowed long +curls down the back, and Gainsboroughs above the brow. As it is, Miss +Deedy occupies a somewhat abnormal position, dangling, like Mahomet's +coffin, between the Church and the world. That, again, is Miss Deedy's +peculiarity. + +Miss Wiggles is a "sensitive." That is a new vocation struck out by the +prolific ingenuity of the female mind. Commonplace doctors would simply +call her "hysterical;" but she calls herself magnetic. She is stout and +inclined to a large appetite, particularly affecting roast pork with +plenty of seasoning; but she passes readily into "the superior +condition" under the manipulations of a male operator. She makes +nothing, save notoriety, by her clairvoyance and other peculiarities; +but she _is_ very peculiar, though the type of a larger class than is +perhaps imagined in this highly sensational age of ours. + +Peculiar boys, too--what lots of them there are! What is called +affectation in a girl prevails to quite as large an extent in the shape +of endless peculiarities among boys. A certain Dick (his name is +Adolphus, but he is universally, and for no assignable reason, known as +Dick) rejoices in endorsing Darwinism by looking and acting like a human +gorilla. Dick is no fool, but assumes that virtue though he has it not. +To see him mumbling his food at meals, or making mops and mows at the +wall, you would think him qualified for Earlswood; but if it comes to +polishing off a lesson briskly or being mulct of his pudding or +pocket-money, Master Dick accomplishes the polishing process with a +rapidity that gives the lie to his Darwinian assumption. + +Well, they are a source of infinite fun, these eccentrics--the comets of +our social system. They have, no doubt, an object in their +eccentricity, a method in their madness, which we prosaic planetary +folks cannot fathom. At all events, they amuse us and don't harm +themselves. They are uniformly happy and contented with themselves. Of +them assuredly is true, and without the limitation he appends, Horace's +affirmation, _Dulce est desipere_, which Mr. Theodore Martin translates, +"'Tis pleasing at times to be slightly insane." + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + +INTERVIEWING AN ASTROLOGER. + + +For several years--in fact ever since my first acquaintance with these +"occult" matters whereinto I am now such a veteran investigator--my +great wish has been to become practically acquainted with some Professor +of Astral Science. One friend, indeed, I had who had devoted a long +lifetime to this and kindred subjects, and of whom I shall have to speak +anon; but he had never utilized his knowledge so as to become the guide, +philosopher, and friend of amorous housemaids on the subject of their +matrimonial alliances, or set himself to discover petty larcenies for a +fee of half-a-crown. He assured me, however, that the practice of +astrology was as rife as ever in London at this moment, and that +businesses in that line were bought and sold for sterling coin of the +realm, just as though they had been "corner" publics, or "snug concerns" +in the cheesemongery line. All this whetted my appetite for inquiry, and +seeing one Professor Wilson advertise persistently in the _Medium_ to +the effect that "the celebrated Astrologer may be consulted on the +events of life" from two to nine P.M., I wrote to Professor Wilson +asking for an interview; but the celebrated astrologer did not favour +me with a reply. + +Foiled in my first attempt I waited patiently for about a year, and then +broke ground again--I will not say whether with Professor Wilson, or +some other practitioner of astral science. I will call my Archimago +Professor Smith, of Newington Causeway, principally for the reason that +this is neither the real name nor the correct address. I have no wish to +advertise any wizard gratuitously; nor would it be fair to him, since, +as will be seen from the sequel, his reception of me was such as to make +it probable that he would have an inconvenient number of applicants on +the conditions observed at my visit. + +Availing myself, then, of the services of my friend above-mentioned, I +arranged that we should together pay a visit to Professor Smith, of +Newington Causeway, quite "permiscuous," as Mrs. Gamp would say. My +companion would go with his own horoscope already constructed, as he +happened to know the exact hour and minute of his birth--particulars as +to which I only possessed the vaguest information, which is all I fancy +most of us have; though there was one circumstance connected with my own +natal day which went a long way towards "fixing" it. + +It was on a Monday evening that I visited this modern Delphic oracle; +and, strangely enough, as is often the case, other events seemed to lead +up to this one. The very lesson on Sunday evening was full of +astrology. It was, I may mention, the story of the handwriting on the +wall and the triumph of Daniel over the magicians. Then I took up my +Chaucer on Monday morning; and instead of the "Canterbury Tales," opened +it at the "Treatise on the Astrolabe," which I had never read before, +but devoured then as greedily as no doubt did "Little Lowis," to whom it +is addressed. All this tended to put me in a proper frame of mind for my +visit to Newington; so, after an early tea, we took my friend's figure +of his nativity with us, and went. + +Professor Smith, we found, lived in a cosy house in the main road, the +parlours whereof he devoted to the purposes of a medical magnetist, +which was his calling, as inscribed upon the wire blinds of the ground +floor front. We were ushered at once into the professor's presence by a +woman who, I presume, was his wife--a quiet respectable body with +nothing uncanny about her. The front parlour was comfortably furnished +and scrupulously clean, and the celebrated Professor himself, a pleasant +elderly gentleman, was sitting over a manuscript which he read by the +light of a Queen's reading lamp. There was not, on the one hand, any +charlatan assumption in his get-up, nor, on the other, was there that +squalor and neglect of the decencies of life which I have heard +sometimes attaches to the practitioners in occult science. Clad in a +light over-coat, with spectacles on nose, and bending over his MS., +Professor Smith might have been a dissenting parson en déshabille +"getting off" his Sunday discourse, or a village schoolmaster correcting +the "themes" of his pupils. He was neither; he was a nineteenth century +astrologer, calculating the probabilities of success for a commercial +scheme, the draft prospectus of which was the document over which he +pored. As he rose to receive us I was almost disappointed to find that +he held no wand, wore no robe, and had no volume of mystic lore by his +side. The very cat that emerged from underneath his table, and rubbed +itself against my legs was not of the orthodox sable hue, but simple +tabby and white. + +My friend opened the proceedings by producing the figure of his +nativity, and saying he had come to ask a question in horary astrology +relative to a certain scheme about which he was anxious, such anxiety +constituting what he termed a "birth of the mind." Of course this was +Dutch to me, and I watched to see whether the Professor would be taken +off his guard by finding he was in presence of one thoroughly posted up +in astral science. Not in the least; he greeted him as a brother chip, +and straightway the two fell to discussing the figure. The Professor +worked a new one, which he found to differ in some slight particulars +from the one my friend had brought. Each, however, had worked it by +logarithms, and there was much talk of "trines" and "squares" and +"houses," which I could not understand; but eventually the coveted +advice was given by the Professor and accepted by my friend as devoutly +as though it had been a response of the Delphic oracle itself. The +business would succeed, but not without trouble, and possibly litigation +on my friend's part. He was to make a call on a certain day and "push +the matter" a month afterwards; all of which he booked in a +business-like manner. This took a long time, for the Professor was +perpetually making pencil signs on the figure he had constructed, and +the two also discussed Zadkiel, Raphael, and other astrologers they had +mutually known. Continual reference had to be made to the "Nautical +Almanack;" but by-and-by my friend's innings was over and mine +commenced. I have said that I did not know the exact hour and minute of +my birth, and when, with appropriate hesitation, I named the 1st of +April as the eventful day, the Professor looked at me for a moment with +a roguish twinkle of the eye as though to ascertain that I was not +poking fun at him. I assured him, however, that such was the +inauspicious era of my nativity, and moreover that I was born so closely +on the confines of March 31--I do not feel it necessary to specify the +year--as to make it almost dubious whether I could claim the honours of +April-Fooldom. This seemed enough for him--though he warned me that the +absence of the exact time might lead to some vagueness in his +communications--and he proceeded forthwith to erect my figure; which, +by the way, looked to me very much like making a "figure" in Euclid; +and I peered anxiously to see whether mine bore any resemblance to the +Pons Asinorum! + +I feared I had led my philosopher astray altogether when the first item +of information he gave me was that, at about the age of twenty-one, I +had met with some accident to my arm, a circumstance which I could not +recall to memory. Several years later I broke my leg, but I did not tell +him that. Going further back, he informed me that about the age of +fourteen, if I happened to be apprenticed, or in any way placed under +authority, I kicked violently over the traces, which was quite true, +inasmuch as I ran away from school twice at that precise age, so that my +astrologer scored one. At twenty-eight I married (true), and at +thirty-two things were particularly prosperous with me--a fact which I +was also constrained to acknowledge correct. Then came a dreadful +mistake. If ever I had anything to do with building or minerals, I +should be very successful. I never had to do with building save once in +my life, and then Mr. Briggs's loose tile was nothing to the +difficulties in which I became involved. Minerals I had never dabbled in +beyond the necessary consumption of coals for domestic purposes. I had +an uncle who interested himself in my welfare some years ago--this was +correct--and something was going to happen to my father's sister at +Midsummer, 1876. This, of course, I cannot check; but I trust, for the +sake of my venerable relation, it may be nothing prejudicial. I was also +to suffer from a slight cold about the period of my birthday in that +same year, and was especially to beware of damp feet. My eldest brother, +if I had one, he said, had probably died, which was again correct; and +if my wife caught cold she suffered in her throat, which piece of +information, if not very startling, I am also constrained to confess is +quite true. Then followed a most delicate piece of information which I +blush as I commit to paper. I wished to marry when I was twenty-one, but +circumstances prevented. Then it was that memories of a certain +golden-haired first love came back through the vista of memory. I was +then a Fellow of my College, impecunious except as regarded my +academical stipend, so the young lady took advice and paired off with a +well-to-do cousin. Sic transit gloria mundi! We are each of us stout, +unromantic family people now; but the reminiscence made me feel quite +romantic for the moment in that ground floor front in Newington +Causeway; and I was inclined to say, "A Daniel come to judgment!" but I +checked myself and remarked, sotto voce, in the vernacular, "Right +again, Mr. Smith!" + +Before passing on to analyse me personally he remarked that my wife's +sister and myself were not on the best of terms. I owned that words had +passed between us; and then he told me that in my cerebral development +there was a satisfactory fusion of caution and combativeness. I was not +easily knocked over, or, if so, had energy to get up again. This energy +was to tell in the future. This, I believe, is a very usual feature of +horoscopic revelation. Next year was to be particularly prosperous. I +should travel a good deal--had travelled somewhat this year, and was +just now going to take a short journey; but I should travel a great deal +more next year. I own to asking myself whether this could bear any +reference to the Pontigny Pilgrimage in which I shared this year, and +the possible pilgrimage to Rome next summer, and also a projected +journey to Scotland by the Limited Mail next Tuesday evening! On the +whole, my astrologer had scored a good many points. + +The most marvellous revelation of all yet remains to be made, however. +When we rose to go we each of us endeavoured to force a fee on Professor +Smith, but nothing would induce him to receive a farthing! I had got all +my revelations, my "golden" memories of the past, my bright promises of +the future free, gratis, for nothing! It will be evident, then, why I do +not give this good wizard's address lest I inundate him with gratuitous +applicants, and why I therefore veil his personality under the +misleading title of Professor Smith of Newington Causeway. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + +A BARMAID SHOW. + + +The present age, denounced by some ungenial censors as the age of shams, +may be described by more kindly critics as emphatically an age of +"shows." Advancing from the time-honoured shows of Flora and Pomona--if +not always improving on the type--and so on from the cattle show, +suggestive of impending Christmas fare, we have had horse shows, dog +shows, and bird shows. To these the genius of Barnum added baby shows; +and, if we are not misinformed, a foreign firm, whose names have become +household words amongst us, originated, though not exactly in its +present form, the last kind of show which has been acclimatized in +England--an exhibition of barmaids. We had two baby shows in one +year--one at Highbury Barn by Mr. Giovannelli, the other at North +Woolwich Gardens by Mr. Holland; and it is to the talent of this latter +gentleman in the way of adaptation that we owe the exhibition of young +ladies "practising at the bar." From babies to barmaids is indeed a +leap, reversing the ordinary process of going from the sublime to the +ridiculous, for while to all but appreciative mammas those infantile +specimens of humanity savour largely of the ridiculous, there can be no +question that the present generation of _dames de comptoir_ is a very +sublime article indeed. I do not say this in derision, nor am I among +those who decry the improvements introduced during the last few years, +both into refreshment bars themselves, and notably into the class of +ladies who preside over them. The discriminating visitor will decidedly +prefer to receive his sandwich and glass of bitter at the hands of a +pretty barmaid rather than from an oleaginous pot-man in his +shirt-sleeves; and the sherry-cobbler acquires a racier flavour from the +arch looks of the Hebe who dispenses it. If silly young men do dawdle at +the bar for the sake of the sirens inside, and occasionally, as we have +known to be the case, take unto themselves these same sirens "for better +or for worse," we can only cite the opinion of well-informed +authorities, that very possibly the young gentlemen in question might +have gone farther and fared worse, and that it is not always the young +lady who has, in such a case, the best of the bargain. + +So, then, the "Grand Barmaid Contest" opened; and in spite of the very +unmistakable appearance put in by Jupiter Fluvius, a numerous assemblage +gathered in the North Woolwich Gardens to inaugurate a festival which, +whatever else we may think of it, is at all events sui generis. Prizes +to the value of _300l._ were to be presented to the successful +candidates, varying from a purse of twenty sovereigns and a gold watch +and chain, down to "a purse of two sovereigns," with "various other +prizes, consisting of jewellery, &c." + +Among the conditions it was required, that every young lady should be +over sixteen years of age; that she should be dressed in _plain_ but +_good_ articles of attire, "in which a happy blending of colours without +prominent display is most suitable;" and it was moreover stipulated that +each "young lady" should "ingratiate herself with the public in the most +affable manner at her command, without undue forwardness or frivolity, +but still retaining a strict attention to business." No young lady was +permitted to take part in the contest unless she had been in the +refreshment business for twelve months, and could produce good +testimonials of character. + +Upwards of 700 applications were made, out of which Mr. Holland selected +fifty. Whence the large number of rejections "deponeth sayeth not." Of +these twenty-eight actually put in an appearance at three P.M. on the +opening day and four were expected to join in a day or two. Every +visitor is provided with a voting ticket, which he hands to the lady of +his admiration, and which counts towards the prize. Each young lady also +receives 5 per cent. on what she sells at her bar. The places are +awarded by lot; and, by a freak of fortune, the two most attractive +demoiselles happened to come together. These were Numbers One and +Fourteen. The former young lady--who desires to be known by her number +only, true genius being ever modest--was certain to stand Number One in +popular esteem; and, if chignons are taken into account, she ought +literally to "head" the list by a very long way. The room was tastefully +decorated by Messrs. Defries, and an excellent band enlivened the +proceedings. As evening drew on the meeting grew more hilarious, but +there was not the slightest impropriety of any kind, the faintest +approach thereto leading to immediate expulsion. + +Many persons may be disposed to ask, in respect of such exhibitions, Cui +bono? But at all events there was nothing which the veriest Cato could +denounce as demoralizing. The "young ladies" were all most modestly +attired in "sober livery;" and certainly--though comparisons are +odious--not so pressing in their attentions as we have seen some other +young ladies at Dramatic Fêtes, or even some dévouées at charitable +bazaars. If we may judge from the large numbers that visited North +Woolwich, "in spite of wind and weather," Mr. Holland was likely to reap +an abundant harvest from this latest "idea," excogitated from his +fertile brain. As the babies have had their "show," and the stronger sex +is not likely to be equal to the task of being exhibited just yet, there +seems only one section of society open to the speculations of a skilful +entrepreneur. Why does not some one, in a more serious line than Mr. +Holland, try what Sydney Smith calls the "third sex," and open an +exhibition of curates, with a genuine competition for prizes? There +could be no possible doubt as to the success of such a display, and the +instruction to be derived from it would be equally beyond question. In +the meantime we have advanced one step towards such a consummation. The +adult human being has taken the place of the baby; and people evidently +like it. Where will the rage for exhibitions stop? Who can say to the +advancing tide of shows, "Thus far shalt thou go, and no farther?" Other +classes of society will probably have their turn, and may think +themselves fortunate if they show up as well as Mr. Holland's "young +ladies." + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII. + +A PRIVATE EXECUTION. + + +I was quietly fiddling away one evening in the Civil Service band at +King's College, as was my custom while my leisure was larger than at +present, when the gorgeous porter of the college entered with a huge +billet which he placed on my music-stand with a face of awe. It was +addressed to me, and in the corner of it was written "Order for +Execution." The official waited to see how I bore it, and seemed rather +surprised that I went on with my fiddling, and smilingly said, "All +right." I knew it was an order from the authorities of Horsemonger Lane +Gaol admitting me to the private execution of Margaret Waters, the +notorious baby-farmer. + +If anything is calculated to promote the views of those who advocate the +abolition of capital punishment, it is the fact of a woman meeting her +death at the hands of the common hangman. There is something abhorrent, +especially to the mind of the stronger sex, in the idea of a female +suffering the extreme penalty of the law. On the other hand, the crime +for which Margaret Waters suffered--which is too much a cause célèbre to +need recapitulation--is exactly the one that would exile her from the +sympathy of her own sex. Whilst therefore her case left the broad +question much in the same position as before, we are not surprised to +find that strenuous efforts had been made to obtain a commutation of the +sentence. Mr. Gilpin, Mr. Samuel Morley, and Mr. Baines had been +conspicuous for their efforts in the cause of mercy. All, however, had +been to no purpose. Margaret Waters was privately executed within the +walls of Horsemonger Lane Gaol at nine o'clock. + +It was a thankless errand that called one from one's bed whilst the moon +was still struggling with the feeble dawn of an October morning, and +through streets already white with the incipient frost of approaching +winter, to see a fellow-creature--and that a woman--thus hurried out of +existence. On arriving at the gloomy prison-house I saw a fringe of +roughs lounging about, anxious to catch a glimpse, if only of the black +flag that should apprize them of the tragedy they were no longer +privileged to witness. Even these, however, did not muster in strong +force until the hour of execution drew near. On knocking at the outer +wicket, the orders of admission were severely scrutinized, and none +allowed to pass except those borne by the representatives of the press, +or persons in some way officially connected with the impending "event." +There was an air of grim "business" about all present, which showed +plainly that none were there from choice, nor any who would not feel +relief when the fearful spectacle was over. After assembling, first of +all, in the porter's lodge, we were conducted by the governor, Mr. +Keene, to the back of the prison, through courtyards and kitchen +gardens; and in a corner of one of the former we came upon the ghastly +instrument of death itself. Here half-a-dozen warders only were +scattered about, and Mr. Calcraft was arranging his paraphernalia with +the air of a connoisseur. I remember--so strangely does one's mind take +in unimportant details at such a crisis--being greatly struck with the +fine leeks which were growing in that particular corner of the prison +garden where the grim apparatus stood, and we--some five-and-twenty at +most, and all in the way of "business"--stood, too, waiting for the +event! + +Then ensued a quarter of an hour's pause, in that cold morning air, when +suddenly boomed out the prison bell, that told us the last few minutes +of the convict's life had come. The pinioning took place within the +building; and on the stroke of nine, the gloomy procession emerged, the +prisoner walking between the chaplain and Calcraft, with a firm step, +and even mounting the steep stair to the gallows without needing +assistance. She was attired in a plaid dress with silk mantle, her head +bare, and hair neatly arranged. + +As this was my first experience in private hanging, I do not mind +confessing that I misdoubted my powers of endurance. I put a small +brandy-flask in my pocket, and stood close by a corner around which I +could retire if the sight nauseated me; but such is the strange +fascination attaching to exhibitions even of this horrible kind, that I +pushed forward with the rest, and when the governor beckoned me on to a +"good place," I found myself standing in the front rank with the rest of +my confrères, and could not help picturing what that row of upturned, +unsympathizing, pitiless faces must have looked like to the culprit as +contrasted with the more sympathetic crowds that used to be present at a +public execution. + +One of the daily papers in chronicling this event went so far as to +point a moral on the brutalizing effect of such exhibitions from my +momentary hesitation and subsequent struggle forward into the front +rank. The convict's perfect sang froid had a good deal to do with my own +calmness, I expect. + +When the executioner had placed the rope round her neck, and the cap on +her head ready to be drawn over the face, she uttered a long and fervent +prayer, expressed with great volubility and propriety of diction, every +word of which could be distinctly heard by us as we circled the +scaffold. She could not have rounded her periods more gracefully or +articulated them more perfectly, if she had rehearsed her part +beforehand! Though most of the spectators were more or less inured to +scenes of horror, several were visibly affected, one kneeling on the +bare ground, and another leaning, overcome with emotion, against the +prison wall. At last she said to the chaplain, "Mr. Jessopp, do you +think I am saved?" A whispered reply from the clergyman conveyed his +answer to that momentous question. All left the scaffold except the +convict. The bolt was withdrawn, and, almost without a struggle, +Margaret Waters ceased to exist. Nothing could exceed the calmness and +propriety of her demeanour, and this, the chaplain informed us, had been +the case throughout since her condemnation. She had been visited on one +occasion by a Baptist minister, to whose persuasion she belonged; but he +had, at her own request, forborne to repeat his visit. The prisoner said +he was evidently unused to cases like hers, and his ministrations rather +distracted than comforted her. The chaplain of the gaol had been +unremitting in his attentions, and seemingly with happy effect. Though +she constantly persisted in saying she was not a murderess in intent, +she was yet brought to see her past conduct in its true light; and on +the previous Saturday received the Holy Communion in her cell with one +of her brothers. Two of them visited her, and expressed the strongest +feelings of attachment. In fact, the unhappy woman seemed to have been +deeply attached to and beloved by all the members of her family. She +had, since her condemnation, eaten scarcely anything, having been kept +alive principally by stimulants. Although this, of course, induced great +bodily weakness, she did not from the first exhibit any physical fear of +death. On the night before her execution--that peaceful moonlit +night--when so many thoughts must have turned to this unhappy woman, she +slept little, and rose early. The chaplain had arranged to be with her +at eight, but she sent for him an hour earlier, and he continued with +her until the end. On Monday night she penned a long statement addressed +to Mr. Jessopp. This was written with a firm hand on four sides of a +foolscap sheet, expressed with great perspicuity, and signed with the +convict's name. Whilst still repudiating the idea of being a murderess +in intent, she pleaded guilty to great deceit, and to having obtained +money under false pretences. If she had not given proper food, that, she +contended, was an error of judgment. It was hard, she thought, that she +should be held accountable for the child who died in the workhouse. She +dwelt much upon the difficulties brought upon her by her dread of the +money-lender--that fungus growth of our so-called civilization, who has +brought so many criminals to the gallows, besides ruining families every +day in each year of grace! That she had administered laudanum she +denied. The evidence as to the dirty condition of the children she +asserted to be false. She wished to avoid all bitterness; but those who +had so deposed had sworn falsely. "I feel sure their consciences will +condemn them to-night," she wrote, "for having caused the death of a +fellow-creature." In the face of the evidence, she felt the jury could +not find any other verdict, or the judge pass any other sentence than +had been done. The case had been got up, she argued, to expose a system +which was wrong. Parents wished to get rid of their ill-gotten +offspring. Their one thought was to hide their own shame. "They," she +concluded, "are the real sinners. If it were not for their sin, _we_ +should not be sought after." + +There must surely be some whose consciences these words will prick. +However this woman deserved the bitter penalty she has now paid, there +is indeed a tremendous truth in her assertion that she, and such as she, +are but the supply which answers their demand. + +And so we filed away as the autumnal sun shone down upon that gloomy +spectacle, leaving her to the "crowner's 'quest," and the dishonoured +grave in the prison precincts. Up to the previous night strong hopes of +a commutation of the sentence were entertained. Her brothers had +memorialized the Home Secretary, and were only on the previous day +informed that the law must take its course. Let us hope that this stern +example will put a stop, not only to "baby-farming," which, as the dead +woman truly said, is but a consequence of previous crime--but also to +those "pleasant vices" which are its antecedents and encouragements. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + +BREAKING UP FOR THE HOLIDAYS. + + +Unromantic as it sounds to say it, I know of few things more disgusting +than to revisit one's old school after some twenty or thirty years. Let +that dubious decade still remain as to the number of years that have +elapsed since I left school. In fact, it matters to nobody when I left +it; I revisited it lately. I went to see the boys break up, as I once +broke up, and I felt disgusted--not with the school, or the breaking up, +but with myself. I felt disgracefully old. In fact, I went home, and +began a poem with these words:-- + + My years, I feel, are getting on: + Yet, ere the trembling balance kicks, I + Will imitate the dying swan, + And sing an ode threnodic--vixi. + +I never got any farther than that. By the way, I shall have to mention +eventually that the school was King's College, in the Strand. I am not +going to unbosom beyond this, or to add anything in the way of an +autobiography; but the locale would have to come out anon, and there is +no possible reason for concealment. + +Well, I went to see them break up for the holidays, and only got over my +antediluvian feelings by seeing one of the masters still on the staff +who was there when I was a boy. It was a comfort to think what a +Methuselah he must be; and yet, if he will excuse the personality, he +looked as rosy and smooth-faced as when he used to stand me outside his +door with my coat-sleeves turned inside out. It was a way he had. Well, +the presence of that particular master made me feel an Adonis forthwith. + +I will not go into the prizes. There were lots of them, and they were +very nice, and the boys looked very happy, and their mammas legitimately +proud. What I want to speak of is the school speeches or recitations, as +they are termed. King's College School speeches are, to my thinking, a +model of what such things ought to be. + +Some schools--I name no names--go in for mere scholastic recitations +which nobody understands, and the boys hate. Others burst out in +full-blown theatricals. King's College acts on the motto, Medio +tutissimus ibis. It keeps the old scholastic recitations, but gilds the +pill by adding the accessory of costume. I can quote Latin as well as +Dr. Pangloss, and certain lines were running in my mind all the time I +was in King's College Hall. They were + + Pueris olim dant crustula blandi + Doctores, elementa velint ut discere prima. + +First we had a bit of German in the shape of an extract from Kotzebue's +"Die Schlaue Wittwe," or "Temperaments." I wish I had my programme, I +would compliment by name the lad who played the charming young Frau. +Suffice it to say the whole thing went off sparkling like a firework. It +was short, and made you wish for more--a great virtue in speeches and +sermons. The dancing-master was perfect. Then came a bit of Colman's +"Heir at Law." Dr. Pangloss--again I regret the absence of the +programme--was a creation, and--notwithstanding the proximity of King's +College to the Strand Theatre--the youth wisely abstained from copying +even so excellent a model as Mr. Clarke. Of course, the bits of Latinity +came out with a genuine scholastic ring. Then a bit of a Greek play, at +which--mirabile dictu!--everybody laughed, and with which everybody was +pleased. And why? Because the adjuncts of costume and properties added +to the correct enunciation of the text, prevented even those, who knew +little Latin and less Greek, from being one moment in the dark as to +what was going on. The passage was one from the "Birds" of Aristophanes; +and the fact of a treaty being concluded between the Olympians and +terrestrials, led to the introduction of some interpolations as to the +Washington Treaty, which, when interpreted by the production of the +American flag and English Union Jack, brought down thunders of applause. +The final chorus was sung to "Yankee Doodle," and accompanied by a +fiddle. The acting and accessories were perfect; and what poor Robson +used to term the "horgan" of Triballos, was wonderful. That youth would +be a nice young man for a small tea party. It is to be hoped that, like +Bottom the weaver, he can modulate his voice, and roar as gently as any +sucking-dove. + +Most wonderful, however, of all the marvels--that met me at my old +school--was a scene from the "Critic," played by the most Lilliputian +boys. Puff--played by Powell (I don't forget that name)--was simply +marvellous. And yet Powell, if he will forgive me for saying so, was the +merest whipper-snapper. Sir Christopher Hatton could scarcely have +emerged from the nursery; and yet the idea of utter stolidity never +found a better exponent than that same homoeopathic boy. + +Last of all came the conventional scene from Molière's "L'Avare." Maître +Jacques was good; Harpagon more than good. I came away well satisfied, +only regretting I had not brought my eldest boy to see it. My eldest +boy! Egad, and I was just such as he is now, when I used to creep like a +snail unwillingly to those scholastic shades. The spirit of Pangloss +came upon me again as I thought of all I had seen that day,--there was +nothing like it in my day. King's College keeps pace with the times. +"Tempora mutantur!" I mentally exclaimed; and added, not without a +pleasant scepticism, as I gazed once more on the pippin-faced master, "I +wonder whether--nos mutamur in illis?" + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX. + +PSYCHOLOGICAL LADIES. + + +There is no doubt that the "Woman's Rights" question is going ahead with +gigantic strides, not only in social and political, but also in +intellectual matters. Boys and girls--or rather we ought to say young +ladies and young gentlemen--are grouped together on the class list of +the Oxford Local Examination, irrespective of sex. A glance at the daily +papers will show us that women are being lectured to on all subjects +down from physical sciences, through English literature and art, to the +construction of the clavecin. We had fancied, however, that what are +technically termed "the Humanities," or, in University diction, +"Science"--meaning thereby ethics and logic--were still our own. Now, we +are undeceived. We are reminded that woman can say, without a solecism, +"Homo sum," and may therefore claim to embrace even the humanities among +her subjects of study. Henceforth the realm of woman is not merely what +may be called "pianofortecultural," as was once the case. It has soared +even above art, literature, and science itself into what might at first +sight appear the uncongenial spheres of dialectics and metaphysics. + +Professor G. Croom Robertson recently commenced a course of thirty +lectures to ladies on Psychology and Logic, at the Hall, 15, Lower +Seymour Street, Portman Square. Urged, it may be, rather by a desire to +see whether ladies would be attracted by such a subject, and, if so, +what psychological ladies were like, than by any direct interest in the +matters themselves, I applied to the hon. secretary, inquiring whether +the inferior sex were admissible; and was answered by a ticket admitting +one's single male self and a party of ladies à discrétion. The very +entrance to the hall--nay, the populous street itself--removed my doubts +as to whether ladies would be attracted by the subjects; and on entering +I discovered that the audience consisted of several hundred ladies, and +two unfortunate--or shall it not rather be said privileged?--members of +the male sex. The ladies were of all ages, evidently matrons as well as +spinsters, with really nothing at all approaching a "blue stocking" +element; but all evidently bent on business. All were taking vigorous +notes, and seemed to follow the Professor's somewhat difficult Scotch +diction at least as well as our two selves, who appeared to represent +not only the male sex in general, but the London press in particular. + +Professor Robertson commenced by a brief and well-timed reference to the +accomplished Hypatia, familiar to ladies from Kingsley's novel--in the +days when ladies used to read novels--and also the Royal ladies whom +Descartes and Leibnitz found apter disciples than the savants. It was, +however, he remarked, an impertinence to suppose that any apology was +needed for introducing such subjects before ladies. He plunged therefore +at once in medias res, and made his first lecture not a mere isolated or +introductory one, but the actual commencement of his series. Unreasoned +facts, he said, formed but a mere fraction of our knowledge--even the +simplest processes resolving themselves into a chain of inference. Truth +is the result of logical reasoning; and not only truth, but truth _for +all_. The sciences deal with special aspects of truth. These sciences +may be arranged in the order--1. Mathematics; 2. Physics; 3. Chemistry; +4. Biology--each gradually narrowing its sphere; the one enclosed, so to +say, in the other, and each presupposing those above it. Logic was +presupposed in all. Each might be expressed by a word ending in "logy," +therefore logic might be termed the "science of sciences." The sciences +were special applications of logic. Scientific men speak lightly of +logic, and say truth can be discovered without it. This is true, but +trivial. We may as well object to physiology because we can digest +without a knowledge of it; or to arithmetic, because it is possible to +reckon without it. Scientific progress has been great; but its course +might have been strewn with fewer wrecks had its professors been more +generally logicians. But then logic presupposes something else. We have +to investigate the origin and growth of knowledge--the laws under which +knowledge comes to be. Under one aspect this science--psychology--should +be placed highest up in the scale; but under another it would rank later +in point of development than even biology itself, because it is not +every being that thinks. This twofold aspect is accounted for by the +peculiarity of its subject-matter--viz., mind. + +The sciences are comparatively modern. Mathematics but some 3000 or 4000 +years old; physics, three centuries; chemistry, a thing of the last, +biology only of the present century. But men philosophized before the +sciences. The ancient Greeks had but one science--mathematics. Now men +know a little of many sciences; but what we want is men to connect--to +knit together--the sciences; to have their knowledge all of a piece. The +knowledge of the ancient Greek directed his actions, and entered far +more into his daily life than ours does. This, he observed, was +philosophy. This is what we want now; and this is what is to be got from +psychology. There is not a single thing between heaven and earth that +does not admit of a mental expression; or, in other words, possess a +subjective aspect, and therefore come under psychology. + +This, in briefest outline, is a sketch of the "strong meat" offered to +the psychological ladies. A single branch of psychology--that, namely, +of the intellect, excluding that of feeling and action--is to occupy ten +lectures, the above being number one. The other twenty will be devoted +to logic. + +The next lecture was devoted to an examination of the brain and nervous +system, and their office in mental processes. Alas, however, how +different was now the audience! Only some thirty ladies--scarcely more +than one-tenth of those who were present at the opening lecture--have +permanently entered for the course. It is no disrespect to the ladies to +hazard the conjecture whether the subject be not a little out of range +for the present. We are moving ahead rapidly, and many foolish ideas as +to the intellectual differences of the sexes are becoming obsolete. We +have literary and artistic ladies by thousands. Scientific ladies, in +the ordinary acceptation of the term, are coming well to the front. +Possibly we may have to "wait a little longer" before we get, on +anything like a large scale, psychological or even logical ladies. + + + + +CHAPTER XXX. + +SECULARISM ON BUNYAN. + + +It is very marvellous to observe the number of strange and unexpected +combinations that are continually occurring in that moral kaleidoscope +we call society. I do not suppose that I am exceptional in coming across +these; nor do I use any particular industry in seeking them out. They +come to me; all I do is to keep my eyes open, and note the impressions +they make on me. I was humbly pursuing my way one Tuesday evening +towards the abode of a phrenologist with the honest intention of +discovering my craniological condition, when, in passing down Castle +Street, Oxford Market, I was made aware that Mr. G. J. Holyoake was +there and then to deliver himself on the "Literary Genius of Bunyan." +This was one of the incongruous combinations I spoke of; and forthwith I +passed into the Co-operative Hall, resolving to defer my visit to the +phrenologist. There are some facts of which it is better to remain +contentedly ignorant; and I have no doubt my own mental condition +belongs to that category. + +I found the Co-operative Hall a handsome and commodious building; and a +very fair audience had gathered to listen to Mr. Holyoake, who is an +elderly thin-voiced man, and his delivery was much impeded on the +occasion in question by the circumstance of his having a bad cold and +cough. After a brief extempore allusion to the fact of the Duke of +Bedford having erected a statue to Bunyan, which he regarded as a sort +of compensation for his Grace ceasing to subscribe to the races, Mr. +Holyoake proceeded to read his treatise, which he had written on several +slips of paper--apparently backs of circulars--and laid one by one on a +chair as he finished them. + +The world, he said, is a big place; but people are always forgetting +what a variety of humanity it contains. Two hundred years ago, the +authorities of Bedford made it very unpleasant for one John Bunyan, +because they thought they knew everything, and could not imagine that a +common street workman might know more. The trade of a tinker seems an +unpromising preparation for a literary career. A tinker in Bedford +to-day would not find himself much flattered by the attentions paid him, +especially if he happened to be an old gaol-bird as well. So much the +more creditable to Bunyan the ascendancy he gained. If he mended pots as +well as he made sentences he was the best tinker that ever travelled. + +Bunyan had no worldly notions. His doctrine was that men were not saved +by any good they might do--a doctrine that would ruin the morals of any +commercial establishment in a month! He declared himself the "chief of +sinners;" but judged by his townsmen he was a stout-hearted, +stout-minded, scrupulous man. + +He was not a pleasant man to know. He had an unrelenting sincerity which +often turned into severity. Yet he had much tenderness. He had a soul +like a Red Indian's--all tomahawk and truth, until the literary passion +came and added humour to it. He demands in his vigorous doggerel:-- + + May I not write in such a style as this, + In such a method, too, and yet not miss + My end, thy good? Why may it not be done? + Dark clouds bring waters, when the bright bring none. + +Like all men of original genius, this stout-minded pot-mender had +unbounded confidence in himself. He was under no delusion as to his own +powers. No man knew better what he was about. He could take the measure +of all the justices about him, and he knew it. Every shallow-headed +gentleman in Bedfordshire towns and villages was made to wince under his +picturesque and satiric tongue. To clergymen, bishops, lawyers, and +judges he gave names which all his neighbours knew. Mr. Pitiless, Mr. +Hardheart, Mr. Forget-good, Mr. No-truth, Mr. Haughty--thus he named the +disagreeable dignitaries of the town of Mansoul. + +At first he was regarded by his "pastors and masters" as a mere wilful, +noisy, praying sectary. Very soon they discovered that he was a +fighting preacher. As tinker or Christian he always had his sleeves +turned up. When he had to try his own cause he put in the jury-box Mr. +True-Heart, Mr. Upright, Mr. Hate-Bad, Mr. See-Truth, and other amiable +persons. His witnesses were Mr. Know-All, Mr. Tell-True, Mr. Hate-Lies, +Mr. Vouch-Truth, Mr. Did-See. His Town Clerk was Mr. Do-Right, the +Recorder was Mr. Conscience, the gaoler was Mr. True-Man, Lord +Understanding was on the bench, and the Judge bears the dainty name of +the "Golden-headed Prince." + +Bunyan's adversaries are always a bad set. They live in Villain's Lane, +in Blackmouth Street, or Blasphemer's Row, or Drunkard's Alley, or +Rascal's Corner. They are the sons of one Beastly, whose mother bore +them in Flesh Square: they live at the house of one Shameless, at the +sign of the Reprobate, next door to the Descent into the Pit, whose +retainers are Mr. Flatter, Mr. Impiety, Mr. False-Peace, Mr. +Covetousness, who are housed by one Mr. Simple, in Folly's Yard. + +Bunyan had a perfect wealth of sectarian scurrility at his command. His +epithets are at times unquotable and ferocious. When, however, his +friends are at the bar, the witnesses against them comprise the choicest +scoundrels of all time--Mr. Envy, Mr. Pick-thank, and others, whose +friends are Lord Carnal-Delight, Lord Luxurious, Lord Lechery, Sir +Having Greedy, and similar villanous people of quality. The Judge's +name is now Lord Hate-Good. The Jury consist of Mr. No-Good, Mr. Malice, +Mr. Love-Lust, Mr. Live-Loose, Mr. Heady, Mr. Hate-Light, Mr. Enmity, +Mr. Liar, Mr. Cruelty, and Mr. Implacable, with Mr. Blindman for +Foreman. + +Never was such an infamous gang impanelled. Rancour and rage and +vindictiveness, and every passion awakened in the breasts of the strong +by local insolence and legal injustice, is supplied by Bunyan with +epithets of immense retaliative force. He is the greatest name-maker +among authors. He was a spiritual Comanche. He prayed like a savage. He +said himself, when describing the art of the religious rhetorician--an +art of which he was the greatest master of his time:-- + + You see the ways the fisherman doth take + To catch the fish; what engines doth he make! + Behold! how he engageth all his wits, + Also his snares, lines, angles, hooks, and nets; + Yet fish there be that neither hook nor line, + Nor snare, nor net, nor engine can make thine; + They must be grop'd for, and be tickled too, + Or they will not be catch'd, whate'er you do. + +Bunyan never tickled the sinner. It was not his way. He carried a prong. +He pricked the erring. He published a pamphlet to suggest what ought to +be done to holy pedestrians, whose difficulties lay rearward. He put +detonating balls under their feet which exploded as they stepped and +alarmed them along. He lined the celestial road with horrors. If they +turned their heads they saw a fiend worse than Lot's wife who was merely +changed into a pillar of sweet all-preserving salt. Bunyan's unfortunate +converts who looked back fell into a pit filled with fire, where they +howled and burnt for evermore. + +Ah! with what pleasure must the great Bedfordshire artist have +contemplated his masterly pages as day by day he added to them the +portrait of some new scoundrel, or painted with dexterous and loving +hand the wholesome outlines of some honest man, or devised some new +phrase which like a new note or new colour would delight singer or +painter for generations yet to come. He must have strode proudly along +his cell as he put his praise and his scorn into imperishable similes. + +But Bunyan had never been great had he been merely disagreeable. He had +infinite wit in him. It was his carnal genius that saved him. He wrote +sixty books, and two of them--the "Siege of the Town of Mansoul" and the +"Pilgrim's Progress"--exceed all ever written for creative swiftness of +imagination, racy English speech, sentences of literary art, cunningness +in dialogue, satire, ridicule, and surpassing knowledge of the +picturesque ways of the obscure minds of common men. In his pages men +rise out of the ground--they always come up on an open space so that +they can be seen. They talk naturally, so that you know them at once; +and they act without delay, so that you never forget them. They +surprise you, delight you, they interest you, they instruct you, and +disappear. They never linger, they never weary you. Incidents new and +strange arise at every step in his story. The scene changes like the men +and their adventures. Now it is field or morass, plain or bypath, bog or +volcano, castle or cottage, sandy scorching desert or cold river; the +smoke of the bottomless pit or bright, verdant, delectable mountains and +enchanted lands where there are no bishops, no gaols, and no tinkers; +where aboundeth grapes, calico, brides, eternal conversation, and +trumpets. The great magician's genius forsakes him when he comes to the +unknown regions, and he knoweth no more than the rest of us. But while +his foot is on the earth he steps like a king among writers. His +Christian is no fool. He is cunning of fence, suspicious, sagacious, +witty, satirical, abounding in invective, and broad, bold, delicious +insolence. Bye-Ends is a subtle, evasive knave drawn with infinite +skill. + +Had Bunyan merely preached the Gospel he had no more been remembered +than thousands of his day who are gratefully forgotten--had he prayed to +this time he had won no statue; but his literary genius lives when the +preacher is very dead. + +He saw with such vividness that the very passions and wayward moods of +men stood apart and distinct in his sight, and he gave names to them and +endowed them with their natural speech. He created new men out of +characteristics of mind, and sent them into the world in shapes so +defined and palpable that men know them for evermore. It was the way of +his age for writers to give names to their adversaries. Bunyan imitated +this in his life of Mr. Badman. Others did this, but Bunyan did it +better than any man. His invention was marvellous, and he had besides +the faculty of the dramatist. + +If any man wrote the adventures of a Co-operator, he would have to tell +of his meeting with Mr. Obstinate, who will not listen to him, and wants +to pull him back. We all get the company of Mr. Pliable, who is +persuaded without being convinced, who at the first splash into +difficulty crawls out and turns back with a cowardly adroitness. We have +all encountered the stupidity of Mr. Ignorance, which nothing can +enlighten. We know Mr. Turnaway, who comes from the town of Apostacy, +whose face we cannot perfectly see. Others merely gave names, he drew +characters, he made the qualities of his men speak; you knew them by +their minds better than by their dress. That is why succeeding ages have +read the "Pilgrim's Progress," because the same people who met that +extraordinary traveller are always turning up in the way of every man +who has a separate and a high purpose, and is bent upon carrying it out. +Manners change, but humanity has still its old ways. It is because +Bunyan painted these that his writing lasts like a picture by one of the +old masters who painted for all time. + +Such is an outline of the paper, which was interesting from its +associations, and only spoilt by the cough. We had had Bunyan in pretty +well every shape possible during the last few weeks. Certainly one of +the most original is this which presents the man of unbounded faith in +the light of utter scepticism. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI. + +AL FRESCO INFIDELITY. + + +In a series of papers like the present it is necessary, every now and +then, to pause and apologize, either for the nature of the work in +general, or for certain particulars in its execution calculated to shock +good people whose feelings one would wish to respect. Having so long been +engaged in the study of infidelity in London, I may, perhaps, be +permitted to speak with something like authority in the matter; and I +have no hesitation in saying that I believe the policy of shirking the +subject is the most fatal and foolish one that could be adopted. Not only +does such a course inspire people, especially young people, with the idea +that there is something very fascinating in infidelity--something which, +if allowed to meet their gaze, would be sure to attract and convince +them--than which nothing is farther from the truth--not only so, however, +but many of the statements and most of the arguments which sound +plausibly enough on the glib tongue of a popular speaker read very +differently indeed, when put down in cold-blooded letter-press, and +published in the pages of a book. I protest strongly against making a +mystery of London infidelity. It has spread and is spreading, I know, +and it is well the public should know; but I believe there would be no +such antidote to it as for people to be fully made aware how and where it +is spreading. That is the rôle I have all along proposed to myself: not +to declaim against any man or any system, not to depreciate or disguise +the truth, but simply to describe. I cannot imagine a more legitimate +method of doing my work. + +I suppose no one will regard it in any way as an indulgence or a luxury +on the part of a clergyman, who be it remembered, is, during a portion +of the Sunday, engaged in ministering to Christian people, that he +should devote another portion of that day to hearing Christ vilified, +and having his own creed torn to pieces. I myself feel that my own +belief is not shaken, but in a tenfold degree confirmed by all I have +heard and seen and written of infidelity; and therefore I cannot concede +the principle that to convey my experiences to others is in any way +dangerous. Take away the halo of mystery that surrounds this subject, +and it would possess very slender attractions indeed. + +It was, for instance, on what has always appeared to me among the most +affecting epochs of our Christian year, the Fifth Sunday after +Easter--Christ's last Sunday upon earth--that, by one of those violent +antitheses, I went to Gibraltar Walk, Bethnal Green Road, to hear Mr. +Ramsey there demolish the very system which, for many years, it has +been my mission to preach. I did not find, and I hope my congregation +did not find, that I faltered in my message that evening. I even venture +to think that Mr. Ramsey's statements, which I shall repeat as +faithfully as possible, will scarcely seem as convincing here as they +did when he poured them forth so fluently to the costermongers and +navvies of the Bethnal Green Road; and if this be true of Mr. Ramsey it +is certainly so of the smaller men; for he is a master in his craft, and +certainly a creditable antagonist for a Christian to meet with the mild +defensive weapons we have elected to use. + +When the weather proves fine, as it ought to have done in May, 1874, +infidelity adjourns from its generally slummy halls to the street +corners, and to fields which are often the reverse of green; thus +adopting, let me remark in passing, one of the oldest instrumentalities +of Christianity itself, one, too, in which we shall do well to follow +its example. Fas est ab hoste doceri--I cannot repeat too often. +Scorning the attractions of the railway arches in the St. Pancras Road, +where I hope soon to be a listener, I sped viâ the Metropolitan Railway +and tram to Shoreditch Church, not far from which, past the Columbia +Market and palatial Model Lodging Houses, is the unpicturesque corner +called Gibraltar Walk, debouching from the main road, with a triangular +scrap of very scrubby ground, flanked by a low wall, which young +Bethnal Green is rapidly erasing from the face of the earth. When I got +here, I found an unclerical-looking gentleman in a blue great-coat and +sandy moustache erecting his rostrum in the shape of a small deal stool, +from whence I could see he was preparing to pour forth the floods of his +rhetoric by diligent study of some exceedingly greasy notes which he +held in his hand and perused at what I feel sure must have been the +windiest street corner procurable outside the cave of Æolus. I fell back +into the small but very far from select crowd which had already begun to +gather, and an old man, who was unmistakably a cobbler, having +ascertained that I had come to hear the lecture, told me he had +"listened to a good many of 'em, but did not feel much for'arder." +Undismayed by this intelligence I still elected to tarry, despite the +cruel nor'-easter that was whistling round the corner of the Bethnal +Green Road. In a few minutes I perceived a slight excitement in the +small gathering due to the fact that the Christians had put in an +appearance, so that there would be some opposition. Mr. Harrington, a +young man whom I had heard once speak fluently enough on the theistic +side at an infidel meeting, was unpacking his rostrum, which was a +patent folding one, made of deal, like that of his adversary, but neatly +folded along with a large Bible, inside a green baize case. Both +gentlemen commenced proceedings at the same time; and as they had +pitched their stools very close to one another, the result was very +much like that of two grinding organs in the same street. Of the two, +Mr. Harrington's voice was louder than Mr. Ramsey's. The latter +gentleman had a sore throat, and had to be kept lubricated by means of a +jug of water, which a brother heretic held ready at his elbow. Mr. +Harrington was in prime condition, but his congregation was smaller than +ours; for I kept at first--I was going to say religiously, I suppose I +ought to say _ir_-religiously--to the infidels. + +Mr. Ramsey, who had a rooted aversion to the letter "h," except where a +smooth breathing is usual, began by saying that Christianity differed +from other religions in the fact of its having an eternal 'Ell. The +Mahometans had their beautiful ladies; the North American Indian looked +for his 'Appy 'Unting Grounds; but 'Ell was a speciality of the +Christian system. On the other side was the fact that you continually +had salvation inundated upon you. Tracts were put into your hand, +asking--"What must I do to be saved?" We had to pay for this salvation +about _11,000,000l._ a year to the Church of England, and something like +an equal amount to the Dissenters. In fact every tub-thumper went about +preaching and ruining servant girls, and for this we paid over twenty +millions a year--more than the interest on the whole National Debt. +After this elegant exordium, Mr. Ramsey said he proposed to divide his +remarks under four heads. 1. Is Salvation necessary? 2. What are we to +be saved from? 3. What for? 4. How? + +1. According to the Christian theory, God, after an eternity of "doin' +nothin'," created the world. He made Adam sin by making sin for him to +commit; and then damned him for doing what He knew he would do. He +predestined you--the audience--to be damned because of Adam's sin; but +after a time God "got sick and tired of damning people," and sent His +Son to redeem mankind. + +This flower of rhetoric tickled Bethnal Green immensely; but Mr. +Harrington was equal to the occasion, and thundered out his orthodoxy so +successfully that Mr. Ramsey took a longer drink than usual, and +complained that he was not having "a free platform"--it was so he +dignified the rickety stool on which he was perched. He then meandered +into a long dissection of Genesis i., appearing to feel particularly +aggrieved by the fact of the moon being said to "rule the night," though +I could not see how this was relevant to the Christian scheme of +salvation; and a superb policeman, who had listened for a moment to Mr. +Ramsey's astronomical lucubrations, evidently shared my feelings and +passed on superciliously. I devoutly wished my duty had permitted me to +do the same. + +The speaker then went into a long dissertation on the primal sin; the +gist of which was that though the woman had never been warned not to eat +of the Forbidden Fruit, she had to bear the brunt of the punishment. +Then--though one is almost ashamed to chronicle such a triviality--he +waxed very wroth because the serpent was spoken of as being cursed above +all "cattle." Who ever heard of snakes being called cattle? He was +condemned to go on his belly. How did he go before? Did he go on his +back or "'op" along on the tip of his tail? These pleasantries drew all +Mr. Harrington's audience away except a few little dirty boys on the +wall. Mr. Ramsey clearly knew his audience, and "acted to the gallery." + +2. But what were we to be saved from? Eternal 'Ell-fire. This 'Ell-fire +was favourite sauce for sermons, and served to keep people awake. Where +was 'Ell? It was said to be a bottomless pit; if so, he should be all +right, because he could get out at the other end! Then, again, 'Ell was +said to be a very 'ot place. When the missionaries told the Greenlanders +that, everybody wanted to go to 'Ell; so they had to change their tune +and say it was very cold. Mr. Ramsey omitted to mention his authority +for this statement. + +Into his pleasantries on the monotony of life in 'Eaven, I do not feel +inclined to follow this gentleman. The Atonement, he went on to remark, +if necessary at all, came 4000 years too late. It should have been--so +we were to believe on his ipse dixit--contemporaneous with the Fall. +This atonement we were to avail ourselves of by means of faith. Idiots +could not have faith, but were allowed to be saved. Consequently, argued +Mr. Ramsey, in conclusion, the best thing for all of us would have been +to have been born idiots, and, consistently enough, Christianity tried +to turn us all into idiots. + +Such were some of the statements. I refrain from quoting the most +offensive, which were deliberately put forward at this al fresco +infidels' meeting; and with what result? Though a vast population kept +moving to and fro along that great highway there were never, I am sure, +more than a hundred people gathered at the shrine of Mr. Ramsey. They +laughed at his profanities, yes; but directly he dropped these, and grew +argumentative, they talked, and had to be vigorously reduced to order. +Gallio-like they cared for none of these things, and I am quite sure a +good staff of working clergy, men like Mr. Body or Mr. Steele of St. +Thomas's, who could talk to the people, would annihilate Mr. Ramsey's +prestige. As for Mr. Harrington, he meant well, and had splendid +lung-power, but his theology was too sectarian to suit a mixed body of +listeners embracing all shades of thought and no-thought. + +Supposing Mr. Ramsey to have put forth all his power that morning--and I +have no reason to doubt that he did so--I deliberately say that I should +not hesitate to take my own boy down to hear him, because I feel that +even his immature mind would be able to realize how little there was to +be said against Christianity, if that were all. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXII. + +AN "INDESCRIBABLE PHENOMENON." + + +When the bulk of the London Press elects to gush over anything or +anybody, there are at all events, primâ facie grounds for believing that +there is something to justify such a consensus. When, moreover, the +object of such gush is a young lady claiming to be a spirit-medium, the +unanimity is so unusual as certainly to make the matter worth the most +careful inquiry, for hitherto the London Press has either denounced +spiritualism altogether, or gushed singly over individual mediums, +presumably according to the several proclivities of the correspondents. +Of Miss Annie Eva Fay, however--is not the very name fairy-like and +fascinating?--I read in one usually sober-minded journal that "there is +something not of this earth about the young lady's powers." Another +averred that she was "a spirit medium of remarkable and extraordinary +power." Others, more cautious, described the "mystery" as "bewildering," +the "entertainment" as "extraordinary and incomprehensible," while yet +another seemed to me to afford an index to the cause of this gush by +saying that "Miss Fay is a pretty young lady of about twenty, with a +delicate spirituelle face, and a profusion of light hair, frizzled on +the forehead." + +I made a point of attending Miss Annie Eva Fay's opening performance at +the Hanover Square Rooms, and found all true enough as to the pretty +face and the frizzled hair. Of the "indescribable" nature of the +"phenomenon" (for by that title is Miss Fay announced, à la Vincent +Crummles) there may be two opinions, according as we regard the young +lady as a kind of Delphic Priestess and Cumæan Sibyl rolled into one, or +simply a clever conjuror--conjuress, if there be such a word. + +Let me, then, with that delightful inconsistency so often brought to +bear on the so-called or self-styled "supernatural," first describe the +"indescribable," and then, in the language of the unspiritual Dr. Lynn, +tell how it is all done; for, of course, I found it all out, like a +great many others of the enlightened and select audience which gathered +at Miss Annie Eva Fay's first drawing-room reception in the Queen's +Concert Rooms. + +Arriving at the door half an hour too early, as I had misread the time +of commencement, I found at the portal Mr. Burns, of the Progressive +Library, and a gentleman with a diamond brooch in his shirt-front, whom +I guessed at once, from that adornment, to be the proprietor of the +indescribable phenomenon, and I was, in fact, immediately introduced to +him as Colonel Fay. + +Passing in due course within the cavernous room which might have suited +well a Cumæan Sibyl on a small scale, I found the platform occupied by a +tiny cabinet, unlike that of the Davenports in that it was open in +front, with a green curtain, which I could see was destined to be let +down during the performance of the phenomenal manifestations. There was +a camp-stool inside the cabinet; a number of cane-bottomed chairs on the +platform, and also the various properties of a spirit séance, familiar +to me from long experience, guitar, fiddle, handbells, tambourine, &c. +One adjunct alone was new; and that was a green stable bucket, destined, +I could not doubt, to figure in what my Rimmel-scented programme +promised as the climax of Part I.--the "Great Pail Sensation." Presently +Colonel Fay, in a brief speech, nasal but fluent, introduced the +subject, and asked two gentlemen to act as a Committee of Inspection. +Two stepped forward immediately--indeed too immediately, as the result +proved; one a "citizen of this city," as Colonel Fay had requested; but +the other a Hindoo young gentleman, who, I believe, lost the confidence +of the audience at once from his foreign face and Oriental garb. +However, they were first to the front, and so were elected, and +proceeded at once to "examine" the cabinet in that obviously helpless +and imperfect way common to novices who work with the gaze of an +audience upon them. Then, from a side door, stage left, enter the +Indescribable Phenomenon. A pretty young lady, yes, and with light +frizzled hair to any extent. There was perhaps "a spirit look within her +eyes;" but then I have often found this to be the case with young ladies +of twenty. Her dress of light silk was beyond reproach. I had seen +Florence Cook and Miss Showers lately; and,--well, I thought those two, +with the assistance of Miss Annie Eva Fay, would have made a very pretty +model for a statuette of the Three Graces. + +Miss Fay, after being described by the Colonel vaguely enough as "of the +United States," was bound on both wrists with strips of calico; the +knots were sewn by the European gentleman--as distinguished from the +Asiatic youth. He was not quite au fait at the needle, but got through +it in time. Miss Fay was then placed on the camp-stool, her wrists +fastened behind her, and her neck also secured to a ring screwed into +the back of the cabinet. A rope was tied round her ankles, and passed +right to the front of the stage, where the Hindoo youth was located and +bidden hold it taut, which he did conscientiously, his attitude being +what Colman describes "like some fat gentleman who bobbed for eels." + +First of all, another strip of calico was placed loosely round Miss +Fay's neck; the curtain descended. Hey, presto! it was up again, sooner +than it takes to write, and this strip was knotted doubly and trebly +round her neck. A tambourine hoop was put in her lap, and this, in like +manner, was found encircling her neck, as far as the effervescent hair +would allow it. + +The audience at this point grew a little fidgety; and though they did +not say anything against the Oriental young gentleman, the 'cute +American colonel understood it, adding two others from the audience to +the committee on the stage, and leaving the young gentleman to "bob" +down below as if to keep him out of mischief. + +The other "manifestations" were really only different in detail from the +first. The guitar was placed on the lap, the curtain fell and it played; +so did the fiddle--out of tune, as usual--and also a little glass +harmonicon with actually a soupçon of melody. A mouth-organ +tootle-tooed, and what Colonel Fay described as a "shingle nail" was +driven with a hammer into a piece of wood. A third of a tumbler of water +laid on the lap of the Indescribable Phenomenon was drunk, and the great +Pail Sensation consisted in the bucket being put on her lap and then +discovered slung by the handle around her neck. The last "manifestation" +is the one to which I would draw attention; for it was by this I +discovered how it was all done. A knife was put on Miss Fay's lap; the +curtain lowered, the knife pitched on to the platform, and behold the +Indescribable Phenomenon stepped from the cabinet with the ligature that +had bound her wrists and neck severed. + +Now, all through this portion of the entertainment the audience, +instead of sitting quiet, amused themselves with proposing idiotic +tests, or suggesting audibly how it was all done. One man behind me +pertinaciously clung to the theory of a concealed boy, and trotted him +to the front after every phase of the exhibition. He must have been +infinitesimally small; but that did not matter. It was "that boy again" +after every trick. One manifestation consisted in putting a piece of +paper and pair of scissors on Miss Fay's lap, and having several "tender +little infants" cut out, as the Colonel phrased it. + +Hereupon sprang up a 'cute individual in the room, and produced a sheet +of paper he had marked. Would Miss Fay cut out a tender little infant +from that? Miss Fay consented, and of course did it, the 'cute +individual retiring into private life for the rest of the evening. +Another wanted Miss Fay's mouth to be bound with a handkerchief, and +there was no objection raised, until the common-sense and humanity of +the audience protested against such a needless cruelty on a broiling +night and in that Cumæan cave. An excited gentleman in front of me, too, +whose mission I fancy was simply to protest against the spiritual +character of the phenomena (which was never asserted) would interrupt us +all from time to time by declaring his intense satisfaction with it all. +It was a splendid trick. We tried to convince him that his individual +satisfaction was irrelevant to us, but it was, as Wordsworth says, +"Throwing words away." It was a beautiful trick; and he was satisfied, +quite satisfied. + +The Dark Séance, which formed the second part of the performance, was a +dreadful mistake. It was not only unsatisfactory in result, but--and no +doubt this was the reason--it was so mismanaged as to threaten more than +once to eventuate in a riot. Twelve or fourteen persons were to form a +committee representing the audience, and to sit in a circle, with the +Indescribable Phenomenon in their centre, while we remained below in +Egyptian darkness and received their report. Of course we all felt that +we--if not on the committee--might just as well be sitting at home or in +the next parish as in the cave of Cumæ. The method of electing the +committee was briefly stated by Colonel Fay to be "first come first +served," and the consequence was a rush of some fifty excited people on +to the platform, with earnest requests on the part of the proprietary to +be "still." There was no more stillness for the rest of the evening. The +fifty were pruned down to about fifteen of the most pertinacious, who +would not move at any price; in fact, the others only descended on being +promised that the dark sitting should be divided into two, and another +committee appointed. The Indescribable Phenomenon took her seat on the +camp-stool in the centre, where she was to remain clapping her hands, to +show she was not producing the manifestations. The gas was put out and +darkness prevailed--darkness, but not silence. The disappointed and +rejected committee men--and women--first began to grumble in the freedom +which the darkness secured. The committee was a packed one. They were +Spiritualists. This was vigorously denied by somebody, who said he saw a +Press man in the circle, and therefore (such was his logic) he could not +be a Spiritualist. All this time the Indescribable Phenomenon was +clapping her hands, and now some of the more restless of the audience +clapped theirs in concert. The guitar and fiddle began to thump and +twang, and the bells to ring, and then again the more refractory +lunatics amongst us began to beat accompaniment on our hats. The whole +affair was worthy of Bedlam or Hanwell, or, let us add, an Indescribable +Phenomenon. + +The committee was changed with another rush, and those who were finally +exiled from the hope of sitting took it out in the subsequent darkness +by advising us to "beware of our pockets." When Colonel Fay asked for +quietude he was rudely requested "not to talk through his nose." It was +not to be wondered at that the séance was very brief, and the meeting +adjourned. + +Now to describe the indescribable. If it be a spiritual manifestation, +of course there is an end of the matter; but if a mere conjuring trick, +I would call attention to the following facts. The fastening of Miss +Fay's neck to the back of the cabinet at first is utterly gratuitous. It +offers no additional difficulty to any manifestations, and appears only +intended to prevent the scrutineers seeing behind her. A very simple +exercise of sleight of hand would enable the gallant Colonel to cut the +one ligature that binds the two wrists, when, for instance, he goes into +the cabinet with scissors to trim off the ends of the piece of calico in +the opening trick. The hands being once free all else is easy. The hands +are _never once seen_ during the performance. The committee can feel +them, and feel the knots at the wrists; but they cannot discover whether +the ligature connecting the wrists is entire. + +The last trick, be it recollected, consists in the ligature being cut +and Miss Fay's coming free to the front. If my theory is incorrect--and +no doubt it _is_ ruinously wrong--will she consent to _omit the last +trick_ and come to the front with wrists bound as she entered the +cabinet? Of course, if I had suggested it, she would have done it as +easily as she cut out the tender infants for the 'cute gentleman behind +me; so, to adopt the language of Miss Fay's fellow-citizen, I "bit in my +breath and swallered it down." I adopted the course Mr. Maskelyne told +me he did with the Davenports, sat with my eyes open and my mouth shut. +It is marvellous to see how excited we phlegmatic islanders grow when +either spirits are brought to the front, or we think we have found out a +conjuring trick. I am not going to follow the example of my gushing +brethren, but I can safely say that if anybody has an afternoon or +evening to spare, he may do worse than go to the Crystal Palace or the +Hanover Square Rooms, to see a very pretty and indescribable phenomenon, +and to return as I did, a wiser, though perhaps a sadder man, in the +proud consciousness of having "found out how it is all done." + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIII. + +A LADY MESMERIST. + + +When a man's whole existence has resolved itself into hunting up strange +people and poking his nose into queer nooks and corners, he has a sorry +time of it in London during August; for, as a rule, all the funny folks +have gone out of town, and the queer nooks and corners are howling +wildernesses. There is always, of course, a sort of borderland, if he +can only find it out, some peculiar people who never go out of town, +some strange localities which are still haunted by them; only he has to +find them out--people and places--for it is so universally allowed +now-a-days that all genteel people must be out of London in August, and +all respectable places must be covered up in old newspapers, that it is +difficult to get them to own the soft impeachment. + +However, there is one queer place that is never shut up, the Progressive +Library in Southampton Row; and Mr. Burns and the Spiritualists, as a +rule, do not shut up shop even in August. Their Summerland lies +elsewhere than Margate or the Moors; and a valse with a pirouetting +table or a little gentle levitation or elongation delights them more +than all the revels of the countryside. I was getting a little blasé, I +own, on the subject of Spiritualism after my protracted experiences +during the Conference, and I do not think I should have turned my steps +in the direction of the Progressive Institution that week had not the +following announcement caught my eye as I scanned the ghostly pages of +the _Medium and Daybreak_:-- + + "A MESMERIC SÉANCE. + + "We have been authorized to announce that Miss Chandos, + whose advertisement appears in another part of this paper, + will give a mesmeric séance at the Spiritual Institution, + 15, Southampton Row, on Wednesday evening, August 19th, at + eight o'clock. Admission will be free by ticket, which may + be obtained at the Institution. The object which Miss + Chandos has in view is to interest a few truth-seekers who + could aid her in promoting a knowledge of psychological + phenomena. As a crowded meeting is not desired, an early + application should be made for tickets." + +I do not know that I said "Eureka!" Indeed I have considerable historic +doubts as to whether anybody ever did, but I felt it. I was a +truth-seeker forthwith. I resolved to sit at the feet of Miss Chandos, +and, should her mesmeric efforts prove satisfactory, "aid her in +promoting a knowledge of psychological phenomena." I did not go through +the prescribed process of getting a ticket beforehand, because I +thought in my innocence that everybody would be out of town, or that the +Hall of the Progressive Institute would certainly accommodate those who +remained. Never was a more fatal mistake. The psychological folks were +all in London, and the capacities of the Progressive Library are not +palatial. Miss Chandos had a crowded meeting whether she desired it or +not. Genius will not be concealed; and Miss Chandos was learning that +lesson in a very satisfactory way. It was a sultry evening when a small +boy opened the back door of the little first floor apartment in +Southampton Row, and squeezed me in like the thirteenth in an omnibus, +and I found myself walking on people's toes, and sitting down on their +hats in the most reckless manner. At length, however, I struggled to a +vacant corner, and deposited myself perspiring and expectant. + +Mr. Burns was "orating" on the revival mesmerism was destined to make, +and telling us how, like the Plumstead Peculiars, we should be able to +do without doctors as soon as the healing powers of animal magnetism +were properly recognised and diffused. I did not listen very carefully, +I fear, for I was nervously looking about for Miss Chandos. Nervously, I +say, because lady mediums and mesmerizers are so apt to run to eighteen +stone, or be old and frumpish, that I had terrible fears lest I should +be scared when I met Miss Chandos in the flesh. I was very agreeably +surprised, however, for when Mr. Burns resumed--not his chair but his +table, since he sat on that article of furniture, a very pretty young +lady indeed, of not more than eighteen or twenty years of age, took his +place, and, in a few well-chosen words, said this was her first +appearance as a public mesmerist, and claimed indulgence should any +failure in the phenomena result. She also drew attention to the fact +that the apartment was "pernicious snug" (she put it, of course, in more +scientific language), and straightway proceeded to business. + +When Miss Chandos invited patients to put themselves in her hands I +thought the room had risen en masse. Everybody wanted to be mesmerized. +I had no chance in my retired position; but she soon got a front row of +likely people, and I sat down once more disappointed and exuding. + +She was a tall active young lady was Miss Chandos, and had a mystic crop +of long black curls, which waved about like the locks of a sibyl when +she made a lunge at an innocent looking young man who sat No. 1--and +whom, with the other patients, I shall designate thus numerically. He +seemed to like it immensely, and smiled a fatuous smile as those taper +fingers lighted on his head, while the other hand rested on the frontal +portion of his face, as though Miss Chandos were going to pull his nose. +He was off in a moment, and sat facing the audience in his magnetic +trance, looking like a figure at a waxwork show. Miss Chandos then +passed on to a gentleman, No. 2, who never succumbed during the entire +evening, though she made several onslaughts upon him. Consequently I +dismiss No. 2 as incorrigible forthwith. No. 3 was a lady who only gave +way after a lengthened attack, and did not seem to appreciate the effect +of Miss Chandos' lustrous eyes so much as No. 1 did. He gave signs of +"coming to," but Miss Chandos kept looking round at him and No. 2, while +she was attending to No. 3, and directly she did this No. 1 closed his +eyes, and slept the sleep of innocence again. + +Having reduced No. 3 to a comatose condition Miss Chandos reverted to +No. 1, and by attractive passes got him on his legs and made him follow +her up and down the limited space at her disposal. She looked then like +a pretty Vivien manipulating a youthful Merlin; and I was not at all +surprised at the effect of her "woven paces and her waving hands." She +asked him his name, and he told her. It was W----. "No," she said, "it's +Jones. Mary Jones. What's your name?" But the youth was not quite so far +gone as to rebaptize himself with a female cognomen just yet. He stuck +to his W., and Miss Chandos put him into his waxwork position again, and +got No. 3 on her legs at last, but did nothing more with her than make +her walk up and down. Presently No. 3 woke up, and was put to air at the +window. + +No. 4 was now selected, in the person of a big burly man; and I could +not help thinking, as she manipulated him, what a capital pose it would +have been for Hercules and Omphale. He seemed to like it exceedingly, +and I thought was dropping comfortably off when he whispered something +to his operator (I have no notion what the feminine of that word is), +who fixed her brilliant eyes on somebody near me--I feared it was +actually on me--and said, "Somebody at the back of the room is +exercising control. I shall be glad if they will refrain." I was quite +innocent of exercising conscious control, and did not quite know what +the phrase meant. I certainly had once or twice thought it must be much +pleasanter to be operated upon by so pretty a young lady than by some +bull-necked male mesmerist or aged spinster above-mentioned, but I could +scarcely believe that such a mild sentiment could affect that colossal +man. However, I recollected the delicacy of these psychological +relations, and sat down conscience-stricken and warmer than ever. + +Miss Chandos selected No. 5 in the person of a young man with a nascent +moustache, who had successfully struggled into the front row at the +outset. He promised well at first; but, like other young men with +incipient moustaches, disappointed us afterwards. Then came No. 6 upon +the scene. + +No. 6 was a lady who came late, and at once pushed to the front with the +air of a person who was not doing so for the first time. She went off in +a moment--far too suddenly, in fact, and then did everything she was +told in a very obedient way. Being told that she was in a beautiful +garden, she stooped down on the floral carpet and proceeded to gather +materials for a bouquet. I confess I did not care about No. 6, and was +proceeding to read Professor Tyndall's Belfast Address, which I had in +my pocket, when Miss Chandos looked up No. 1 again. + +Reduced to a proper frame of mind, either by Miss Chandos' continued +attentions or the contagion of No. 6's docility, the youth was now all +submission. He walked up and down any number of times like a tame animal +at the Zoological Gardens, and now quite agreed that his name was Mary +Jones. He sang "Tom Bowling" at command, and No. 6, not to be outdone, +warbled a ditty called, I think, "The Slave Girl's Love," the refrain of +which, according to her version, was, "I cannot love, because I _ham_ a +slave." She broke down in the middle of this aspiring ditty, and then +personated a Jew old clo' man, a woman selling "ornaments for your +firestoves," and various other characters, all of which she overacted +considerably. I may be wrong, of course, but I fancied the fair +lecturess was as dissatisfied with No. 6 as I was. The audience was an +indulgent one, and thought it splendid. Mr. Burns sat on the table and +yawned. I relapsed into Tyndall, and wondered what he would have said +about it all; or, at least, I did not wonder, for I knew he would have +consigned us all to the nearest lunatic asylum as exceptions to the rule +that the European has so many more cubic inches of cerebral development +than the Papuan. + +When it was drawing near ten, Miss Chandos brought the proceedings to a +close by animating--like Pygmalion--her waxwork statues. She apologized +once more, in a few well-chosen sentences, for what she was pleased to +call her "failure," but the audience would not hear of the term, and +applauded to the echo, only there was no room for an echo in the +Progressive Institute. The young man, No. 1, who I found was a spirit +medium, wound up by an address from his Indian guide on the subject of +"control." + +I confess I failed to gather from the perambulating youth and maidens +No. 1 and 3, or the impersonations of No. 6, any signs of the revival +alluded to by Mr. Burns at the outset; and there was not the remotest +connexion with the healing art. In fact, nobody seemed suffering from +anything except heat. + +Miss Chandos said to me, however, in a sensible conversation with which +she favoured me in private, that all she had attempted to show was but +the lowest manifestation of a power which had far higher ends in view. +She doubted almost whether it was not something like sacrilege to use +such a power for playing tricks and gratifying curiosity. + +She was thoroughly in earnest; and laboured both physically during the +evening and logically in her after-discourse, with an energy which some +persons would have said was worthy of a better cause. + +It was nearly eleven when I left the miniature hall of the Progressive +Institute, and as I passed along the streets, digesting what I had seen +and heard during the evening, I took myself to task severely--as it is +always well to do, if only to prevent somebody else doing it for me--and +asked whether, if the lecturess had not been a lecturess but a +lecturer--if being a lecturess she weighed eighteen stone, or was old +and wizen, or dropped her h's--whether I should have stayed three mortal +hours in that stuffy room, and I frankly own I came to the conclusion I +should _not_. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIV. + +A PSYCHOPATHIC INSTITUTION. + + +Reading my _Figaro_ the other day--as I hope I need not state it is my +custom devoutly to do--I came upon the following passage in the review +of a book called "Psychopathy; or, the True Healing Art. By Joseph +Ashman. London: Burns, Southampton Row. We have not the pleasure of +being personally acquainted with Joseph Ashman, and we fear that the +loss is ours. Judging him through the medium of his book, he must, +indeed, be a rara avis.... The one great thing," it went on to say, +"that Joseph Ashman wants the world to know is, that he cures disease by +very simple means. And all that the world wants to know from Joseph +Ashman is, Are these cures real--are his statements facts? Why, then, +does not Joseph content himself with his facts? He has plenty of them. +Here is one:--'Seeing one day a cabman with a swollen face standing by a +police-court ready to prosecute a man who had assaulted him, I asked if, +on condition I healed him, he would forgive his adversary. He replied +that he would, and we accordingly got into his cab together. Bringing +out the magnetized carte, I told him to look at it, and at the same +time made a few motions over the swelling with my hand. I then left him +feeling much better, and returned in an hour's time, when I found him +taking a glass of beer with his antagonist, whom he had forgiven.'" + +Now as the one pursuit and end of my present existence is the discovery +of raræ aves, I need not say I at once took up the clue herein afforded, +and went in pursuit of Joseph Ashman. I found not only him but his +institution, for Mr. Ashman does not work single-handed. It is in the +Marylebone Road, almost opposite the Yorkshire Stingo; and is most +modest and unpretending in its outward semblance, being situated in one +of those semi-rustic houses so indicative of suburban London, down an +overstocked garden, into which you enter by means of a blistered iron +gate, painted violently green, and swinging heavily on its hinges. Down +a vista of decrepit dahlias one sped to the portal, alongside which was +a trio of bell-handles, one above the other, showing that the +Psychopathic Institution did not occupy the whole even of that modest +domicile. I always approach these manifold bells with considerable +diffidence, conscious that I must inevitably ring the wrong one; so, on +this occasion, I rang none at all, but knocked a faint double knock on +the knocker by way of compromise--very faint, indeed, lest I should +disturb any patients who were being "psychopathized." While I waited I +had leisure to observe that hidden among the dahlias, and thatched over +as it were with a superannuated costermonger's barrow, was a double +perambulator, which set me calculating the probabilities of Mr. Ashman +being a family man. + +The door was opened before I had settled the point to my own mental +satisfaction, by a short, cheery-looking man, with long, straight flaxen +hair flowing down over the shoulders of his black frock-coat, a beard a +few shades lighter, and a merry twinkling eye, which looked more +sympathetic than psychopathic, and I should think was calculated to do +patients good directly it lighted on them. He looked as much as to ask +whether I was psychopathically wrong, when I informed him that I had not +come as a patient, but simply to inspect his institution if he would +permit me. The permission was at once accorded. "We are hard at work," +he said, as he ushered me into the front parlour; "but come in and see +what we are about." + +A man who looked like a respectable artisan was sitting at the table; +and a second, in his shirt sleeves, was astride of a chair in what +appeared to be rather an idiotic ride-a-cock-horse-to-Banbury-Cross +fashion, and Mr. Ashman was pinching him and prodding him as butchers do +fat animals at the Smithfield Show. + +"That there gentleman," said Mr. Ashman, in a broad provincial dialect, +"couldn't get astride that chair when he come here half-an-hour ago. How +d'ye feel now, sir?" + +"Feel as though I should like to race somebody twenty rods for five +pound a-side," answered the patient, getting up and walking about the +room as if it were a new sensation. He had been brought, it appeared, to +Mr. Ashman by his friend, who was sitting at the table, and who was an +old psychopathic patient. He assured me he had suffered from rheumatism +for twenty years, and was completely disabled without his stick until he +came into that room half-an-hour since. He walked up and down stickless +and incessantly as the carnivora at the Zoo all the time he was telling +me. + +"Would you mind putting your ear to this man's back, sir?" said Mr. +Ashman to me. I did so; and when he bent, his backbone seemed to go off +with a lot of little cracks like the fog-signals of a railway. "That +there old rusty hinge we mean to grease." And away he went +psychopathizing him again. When he was done, Mr. Ashman explained to me +learnedly, and with copious illustrations from anatomical plates, his +theory of this disease, which was his favourite one for treatment, +because it yielded rapidly. Paralysis and that class of disease are much +slower. He had succeeded in acute rheumatism, and also in calculus. "I +like fat men--fighting men to heal," he said. "I leave the delicate ones +to others." The sturdy little psychopathist looked healthy enough to +heal a sick rhinoceros. + +While he was lecturing me his hands were not idle. I should think they +seldom were. He was pouring salad oil from a flask on to flannel to give +to the other man who was sitting at the table, and had approached +convalescence from a chronic disease after one or two visits, and who +used this oiled flannel to keep up the influence. Both the men seemed +perfectly genuine; and the rheumatic gentleman, when he left, pronounced +the effect of his psychopathizing miraculous. The fee was five +shillings. "I shan't charge you nothin' for the flannel," he said to No. +2. I began to take quite a fancy to Joseph Ashman, and thanked _Figaro_ +inwardly for directing me to the institution. + +A working woman who was next in the little row of patients assembled in +the back room, came in with her wrists bound up in bits of flannel, and +her hands looking puffed and glazy. She, too, had lost the use of them +for six years, she told me, and had been pronounced incurable by the +doctors. This was her fourth visit to Mr. Ashman. "Take up the chair, +ma'am," he said to his patient; and she did carry it in rather a wobbly +fashion across the room. "Now the other hand," and she did it with the +other hand. "Now show the gentleman how you did it when you came to me. +She's rather hard o' hearin'," he explained to me; but after one or two +repetitions the poor old body comprehended, and carried it in her +crooked elbow. "Now I'll call my assistant," he said, and summoned a +ruddy, red-bearded man, who looked as though he might have just come in +from a brisk country walk. "When these cases require a good deal of +rubbing I let my assistants do the preliminary work, and then come in as +the Healing Medium myself." The rubbers, he informed me, like the +Medium, must be qualified, not only physically, but morally. Benevolence +was the great requisite; and certainly both these men seemed running +over with it, if looks meant anything. When Joseph Ashman took his turn, +working the poor old patient's stiff wrists, and pulling her fingers +till they cracked, like children playing "sweethearts," she never +winced, but actually seemed to like it, and trotted off well satisfied +with her fourth instalment of good health. + +The next rubber who was introduced to me was not such a ruddy man, +being, in fact, somewhat saturnine in appearance; but I could quite +understand that he was, as he described himself, brimful of electricity. +His chevelure was like that on the little man we stick on the conductor +of an electrical machine and make each particular hair stand on end like +quills upon the fretful porcupine. + +I could not for the life of me see the difference between this treatment +and simple mesmerism, except that it was much more rapid in its effects +than any magnetic treatment I have ever witnessed. Indeed, I frankly +confess I do not understand it now, though Mr. Ashman made me accept one +of his little books on Psychopathic healing, and told me I should see +the distinction when I had read it. I must be very dense, for I have +read it diligently through, and still fail to trace the distinction. + +The man made a great impression on me. I felt he was just one of those +who would carry life into a sick room, and communicate vital +power--supposing it to be communicable--from the dumpy fingers of his +fat soft hand. The perambulator did not belie him. Numbers of pretty +black-eyed children were running about, and there was a Mrs. Ashman +somewhere among the poor patients in the back room. All the children +came to me except the eldest boy, who, his father told me in a +mysterious tone, had suffered some indignity at the hands of my cloth, +and dreaded a parson ever after. I believe my injudicious brother had +set him a long task (perhaps his Duty to his Neighbour), and the poor +lad was always afraid he should be dropped down upon to "say it." Mr. +Ashman's book is a little bewildering to an outsider who fails to +distinguish the _two_ vital forces. He says: "It is much rarer to find a +high development of a temperament in which the psychical element +prevails, than in which it is well blended with the vital-magnetic, or +than in which the latter excels. In nearly all popular public men there +is a blending of the two. We see it well exemplified in John Bright, +Spurgeon, and others. This is the secret of their drawing, magnetic +power. It is the secret, too, of many a physician's success: his genial +magnetism cures when his medicine is useless, although, of course, he +does not know it. As is the difference between these two forces, so is +the difference in the method of their employment for the purpose of +cure." However, when I left I promised--and I mean to keep my vow--that +if ever I am unfortunate enough to find my vertebræ creaking like "an +old hinge," I will come to Mr. Ashman and have it greased. The remark in +his book as to the success of medicine depending on the qualities of him +who administered it was, we may recollect, confirmed at the 1874 meeting +of the British Association in Belfast. + +Joseph Ashman has had a chequered history. He has dwelt in the tents of +the Mormonites; has been one of the Peculiar People. In early life he +was in service in the country, where his master used to flog him until, +to use his own expression, he nearly cut him in two. His earliest +patients were cattle. "For a healer," he said, "give me a man as can +clean a window or scrub a floor. Christ himself, when He chose those who +were to be healers as well as preachers, chose fishermen, fine, deep +chested men, depend upon it, sir," and he rapped upon his own sonorous +lungs until they reverberated. He was certainly blessed with a +superabundance of good health, and looked benevolent enough to impart +all his surplus stock to anybody who wanted it. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXV. + +A PHRENOLOGICAL EVENING. + + +The experience I am about to chronicle occurred when the Beecher-Tilton +scandal was at its height; and I was attracted by the somewhat ambiguous +title "Burns upon Beecher." + +Mr. James Burns, the spirited proprietor of the Progressive Library, +Southampton Row, having devoted himself to the study of phrenology, has +for some time past held a series of craniological séances on Tuesday +evenings, at which he "takes off" the head of some well-known person, or +your own, if you like, whether you are well-known or born to blush +unseen, not in the way of physical decapitation, but by the method of +phrenological diagnosis. I greatly regretted having, on a previous +occasion, missed the analysis of Dr. Kenealy's cerebral developments. I +believe the Claimant himself was once the object of Mr. Burns' remarks; +but when Mr. Beecher's cranium was laid down for dissection at the +height of the Beecher-Tilton sensation, I could resist no longer, but, +despite all obstacles, repaired to the Institute of Progress. + +About a score of people were gathered in that first-floor front where I +had seen so many strange things. Of these persons some formed the +regular phrenological class conducted there weekly by Mr. Burns. The +others were, generally speaking, of the ordinary lecture-audience type. +One stout lady occupied an easy-chair in a corner, and slept from first +to last. + +The first part of the lecture was a little discursive, I fancy for my +especial benefit, and summarized Mr. Burns' system, which is to a great +extent original. Beginning by a disavowal of all dogmas, he began by +advancing what was to me the entirely novel doctrine, that the brain was +not the sole organ of the mind, but that the whole organism of man had +to be taken into account in the diagnosis of character, since the entire +body was permeated with the mind. The bones, fluids, and viscera were +all related to mental phenomena. The lecturer even questioned whether +the science he promulgated was properly termed phrenology. It certainly +did not answer to the conventional idea of that craft. Referring to a +calico diagram which was pinned to the curtains of the first-floor +front, and at which he pointed with a walking-stick, Mr. Burns notified +four divisions of the animal frame--1, the vital organs; 2, the +mechanical; 3, the nervous (which in the lower orders were ganglionic +only); 4, the cerebral apparatus. He defended the animal powers from the +debased idea usually attached to them, and pointed out their close +connexion with the spirit, nearer to which they were placed than any +portion of the economy. + +He then proceeded to apply his preliminary remarks to preachers in +general. Theodore Parker, for instance, was a man of spare body and +large brain. He was surrounded by intellectual people, and his disciples +were quite sui generis. On the other hand, Spurgeon was a man of strong +animal and perceptive powers, and so able to send the Walworth +shopkeepers into ecstasies. His ganglions were big, as was the case in +all great preachers. Emotion, he said, was more a matter of bowels than +of brain. The ganglionic power carried the brain; but there were, of +course, combinations of all grades. + +In the case of Henry Ward Beecher, two of whose photographs he held in +his hand, he dwelt on the disadvantage of having only the shadow instead +of the substance of his head to deal with. Here, he said, we had all the +elements on a large scale. The brain, thoracic system, osseous +structure, and abdominal development were all in excess. The face was, +as it were, the picture of all. Henry Ward Beecher was emphatically a +large man. The blood was positive; the circulation good. The digestion +was perfect, and the man enjoyed good food. Especially the length from +the ear to the front of the eyebrows denoted intellectual grasp. There +was not much will power. Whatever he had done (and Mr. Burns +emphatically disclaimed passing any judgment on the "scandal") he had +not done of determination, but had rather "slid into it." He was no +planner. He gathered people round him by the "solar" force of his mind. +If he had been a designing man--if largely developed behind the ears--he +would have gone to work in a different way. There was good development +in the intellectual, sympathetic, and emotional part of his nature; and +this combination made him a popular preacher. There was more than mere +animal magnetism needed to account for this; there was intellectual +power, but not much firmness or conscientiousness. If he were present, +he would probably acknowledge that something had led him on to do +whatever he had done in spite of himself. What was very peculiar in the +man was his youthfulness. He had been before the world for forty years. +Mr. Fowler, the phrenologist, of Ludgate Circus, had been a fellow +student of Beecher, and had measured his head, which he ascertained to +have grown an inch in ten years. Beecher was essentially a growing +man--growing like a boy. The ganglionic power was that which kept people +always growing, and was the great means of their getting a hold over +other people. + +Mr. Burns then passed in review the three portraits of Beecher, Tilton, +and Mrs. Tilton respectively, in the _Pictorial World_. Mrs. Tilton he +described as a negative person, inclined to be hysterical and +"clinging." There was in her a high type of brain, morally, +intellectually, and spiritually. Still the brain, he said, did not make +us good or bad. Again repudiating all judgment as to the scandal, he +dwelt upon the close social relationships between Beecher and Mrs. +Tilton, and recurred to the strong vital influence of the former, +comparing it to that of Brigham Young upon his "spiritual affinities." +In all probability, taking into account the different natures of Beecher +and Mrs. Tilton, whatever had occurred "the people couldn't help +themselves." + +Then as to Theodore Tilton. Mr. Burns had read the _Golden Age_, and +pronounced it a smart publication. There was, however, in Tilton a want +of ganglionic power; he was all brain. He was a man who might be read, +but he could not lecture or preach. His was a higher mind than +Beecher's, but not one that would command much human sympathy. + +Suppose Mrs. Tilton were not the wife of either, her relations to each +might be conscientious, but still violate the laws of monogamic life. +The influence of Beecher over her would be ganglionic as well as +intellectual; that of Tilton purely intellectual: when lo, a gust of +ganglionic power would supervene on the latter, and carry all before it. + +Concluding his analysis of Mr. Beecher thus, Mr. Burns discovered that +he had two clerics among his audience, and asked us--for I was one of +them--if we would be examined. I readily consented, and handed my notes +to Miss Chandos (the young lady mesmerist, whose séance I reported a +few pages back) to report progress. She, therefore, is responsible for +the diagnosis that follows. + +Handling me from head to foot, much as a fancier does a prize ox at +Smithfield, Mr. Burns found the life power good, and the muscles well +nourished, the working faculties being in a high state of activity. The +head--I blushed to hear--measured one inch beyond the average of a man +of my size, and the cerebral faculties were harmoniously organized. I +had large perceptive powers; and my human nature (wherever that may be +located) was full, as was also firmness. The thinking sphere was good. I +should have made, Mr. Burns informed me, a good sculptor or artist. + +Omitting one or two complimentary remarks which Miss Chandos has +faithfully, if not flatteringly, reported, and the enunciation of which +quite confused me as I sat the centre and cynosure of that wondering +group, I was glad to learn that I was an open man, though possessed of +sufficient caution and not defective in moral courage. In fact "pluck" +was large. I really wished Mr. Burns would relieve me by finding some +bad bumps; but no--the worst he could say of me was that I was restless. +What chiefly seemed to strike him, though, were my vital powers, and he +really covered me with confusion when he began to calculate my Beecher +powers on a possible Mrs. Tilton. However, he toned down this remark by +noticing that my domestic faculties were well developed. My faith and +hope were small. I was a "doubting" man. The positive and negative were +well blent in me, and I was also "mediumistic." + +The diagnosis of two ladies concluded the evening's exercises, but +neither of these personages displayed any very remarkable traits; Mr. +Burns declaring he felt some difficulty in discovering the bumps under +the "back hair." + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVI. + +A SPIRITUAL PICNIC. + + +In a volume bearing the title of _Mystic London_ it would seem perchance +that Spiritualism, as par excellence the modern mystery, should stand +first. I have thought it better, however, to defer its treatment +somewhat, working up to it as to a climax, and then gently descending to +mundane matters once more ere I close my present work. + +Of London at this hour, just as of Rome in the later Republic and +Empire, it may be safely affirmed that there is in its midst an element +of the mysterious and occult utterly undreamed of by the practical +people. Many phases of this element have already been treated of in my +different works; and I add some of the more exceptional as properly +belonging to my present subject. + +Now I candidly confess that, up to a recent date, I had not given +Spiritualists--quâ spiritualists--credit for being a cheerful or +convivial people. Though there exist upon the tablets of my memory +recollections of certain enjoyable dinners, cosy teas, and charming +petits soupers, eaten at the mahogany of believers in the modern +mystery, yet these were purely exceptional events, oases in the desert +of spiritualistic experiences. Generally speaking, the table, instead of +groaning under its accumulated bounties, leapt about as if from the +absence thereof; and the only adjuncts of the inhospitable mahogany were +paper tubes for the spirit voices, handbells for the spirit hands, and +occasional accordions and musical boxes for the delectation of +harmonious ghosts. It was a "flow of soul" if not always a "feast of +reason;" but, as regarded creature comforts, or any of the ordinary +delights of mundane existence, a very Siberian desert. A grave subject +of discussion (I am not, I assure you, indulging in a sepulchral pun) at +the recent Liverpool Conference was how to feed mediums, and I fancy the +preponderating opinion was that fasting was a cardinal virtue in their +case--a regimen that had come to be in my mind, perhaps unfairly, +associated with séances in general. I was glad, therefore, when I read +in the columns of the _Medium_ the announcement of the spiritual picnic +or "demonstration," at the People's Garden, Willesden. Still I wanted to +see Spiritualists enjoy themselves in the "normal condition." I +sympathized with the avowed object of the gathering, that the followers +of the new creed should know one another, as surely the disciples of a +common school ought to do. Armed, therefore, with a ticket, I proceeded, +viâ the North London Railway, to the scene of action. It was not what we +materialistic people should call a fine August day. It was cold and +dull, and tried hard to rain; but it was far more in keeping with the +character of the meeting than what Father Newman calls the "garish day" +one looks for in mid-August. In the words of the circle the "conditions +were excellent;" and as I journeyed on, reading my _Medium_ like a true +believer, I marvelled to see, by the evidence of its advertisements, how +the new creed had taken hold of a certain section, at all events, of +society. Besides a dozen public mediums who paraded their varied +attractions at terms ranging from _2s. 6d._ to _21s._, there were +spiritualistic young men who put forward their creed as a qualification +for clerkships--perhaps they had no other claim--spiritual lodging-house +keepers, and even spiritual undertakers, all pervaded by what we may +literally call a common esprit de corps. + +In due course we reached the People's Garden, the popular title whereof +seemed to have been given on the lucus a non principle, for the London +folk have not, as yet, affected it largely. Why this should be so one +cannot guess, for it is the very ideal of a Cockney Paradise, and is +admirably worked by a body of shareholders, most of whom belong to the +artisan class, though under very distinguished patronage indeed. When I +got to the grounds the Spiritualists were indulging in a merry-go-round +during a refreshing drizzle. A temporary rush under cover ensued, and +then the weather became more favourable, though the skies preserved +their neutral tint. Mrs. Bullock, a suburban medium, who had become +entranced, had located herself in a bower, and beckoned people from the +audience to receive her "benediction," which was given in a remarkable +dialect. I thought it was Yorkshire, but a spiritualistic gentleman +explained to me that it was "partly North American Indian." The Osborne +Bellringers next gave a campanological concert, which was exceedingly +good of its kind, the small gentleman who played the bass bell working +so actively as to suggest the idea that he could not long survive such +hard labour in his fleshly condition. These campanologists are said to +be big mediums, and occasionally to be floated or otherwise spirited +during their performances; but nothing abnormal occurred at the People's +Garden. Then there was dancing on the monster platform, which is, I +should think, correctly described as "the largest in the world." This +was indeed a new phase of Spiritualism: the terpsichorean spiritualists +generally let their tables do the dancing for them, as Eastern +potentates hire their dancing-girls. Donkey-races, croquet, and other +unspiritual diversions varied the order of proceedings; and as for the +one-and-ninepenny teas, I can only say I should think the Garden +Committee did not get much profit out of them, for the Spiritualists +regaled themselves in the most material fashion. During the afternoon +the arrivals were fast and frequent. All the medium-power of London +seemed present; and the only wonder was that we were not all floated +bodily away. There was Mrs. Guppy, who, in answer to my demand whether +she had been "floated" from Highbury, informed me that she had come far +less romantically--"nine in a cab!" There was Dr. Monk, too, a +Nonconformist clergyman, who had lately been taking aërial journeys of +the Guppy order about Bristol. In fact, the élite of the sect were well +represented; and during the whole afternoon, despite the dirty-looking +day, the fun was fast and furious, and all went merry as the proverbial +marriage-bell. + +Part of the programme was an entertainment by a gentleman bearing the +delightfully sepulchral name of Dr. Sexton, whose mission in life it is +to "expose" the tricks of Dr. Lynn and Messrs. Maskelyne and Cooke. How +those gentlemen are to be "exposed," seeing they only claim to deceive +you by legerdemain, I cannot comprehend; but they made the Spiritualists +very angry by taking their names in vain on the handbills of the +Egyptian Hall, and more than insinuating that there was a family +likeness between their performances; and, consequently, the conjurors +were to be "exposed;" that is, the public were to have their visit to +the Temple of Magic spoilt by being shown beforehand how the tricks were +done. Aided by an expert assistant named Organ, Dr. Sexton soon let us +into the mysteries of the cabinet business, which seemed just as easy as +making the egg stand on end--when you know how. It is perfectly true +that, after hearing Dr. Sexton's exposition--rather than exposé--it is +quite easy for any one to frustrate the designs of these clever +conjurors, if he wishes to do so. I am not sure that the exposé is wise. +Illogical people will not see the force of Dr. Sexton's argument, and +will possibly think it "proves too much." If so much can be done by +sleight of hand and ingenious machinery, they will argue, perhaps, that +the Davenports and other mediums are only cleverer conjurors still, or +have better machinery. Alas! all my fairyland is pasteboard now. I know +how the man gets out of the corded box--I could do it myself. I know +where the gorilla goes when he seems lost in the magic cabinet. It is +all a clever combination of mirrors. The blood-red letters of some dear +departed friend are only made with red ink and a quill pen, and the name +of the "dear departed" forged. Well, I suppose _I_ am illogical, too. If +one set of things is so simple when it is shown to you, why may not all +be? I fear the Willesden outing has unsettled my convictions, and shaken +my faith in most sublunary things. + +The gathering clearly proved the growth of Spiritualism in London. That +such numbers could be got together in the dead season bespeaks a very +extensive ramification indeed. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVII. + +A GHOSTLY CONFERENCE. + + +A distinct and well-marked epoch is reached in the history of any +particular set of opinions when its adherents begin to organize and +confer, and the individual tenets become the doctrines of a party. Such +a culmination has been attained by the believers in Modern Spiritualism. +For a long while after the date of the now historical Rochester +Rappings, the manifestations were mostly individual, and in a great +degree limited to such exercises as Mr. Home's elongation, Mrs. Guppy's +flight from Highbury to Lamb's Conduit Street, or, more recently still, +the voices and manipulations of John and Katie King, the orations of +Mrs. Hardinge, Mr. Morse, and Mrs. Tappan. But all this was spasmodic, +and not likely to take the world by storm, while Spiritualists had +adopted the time-honoured maxim--"Magna est veritas et prevalebit." +Therefore they must organize. They have done so, not without protest on +the part of some of the most noted of their adherents; but the majority +carried the day, and the result is the British National Association of +Spiritualists, which has recently been sitting in solemn conclave at +its first Annual Conference in Lawson's Rooms, Gower Street. + +Now I plead guilty to being greatly interested in this subject of +Spiritualism generally, and in the doings of the Conference in +particular. I cannot help thinking that clergymen and scientists ought +to look into any set of opinions whose professors have attained the +dimensions of this body. Their doctrines have spread and are spreading. +Already the Spiritualists number among them such men as Mr. Alfred +Wallace, Mr. Varley, Mr. Crookes, Mr. S. C. Hall, &c., and are extending +their operations amongst all classes of society, notably among the +higher. I could even name clergymen of all denominations who hold +Spiritualistic views, but refrain, lest it should seem invidious, though +I cannot see why it should be incongruous for the clergy to examine +doctrines which profess to amplify rather than supplant those of +revelation, any more than I can why scientists stand aloof from what +professes to be a purely positive philosophy, based upon the inductive +method. So it is, however; Spiritualism is heterodox at once in its +religious and philosophical aspects. I suppose that is why it had such +special attraction for me. Certain it is, I have been following the +ghostly conference like a devotee. + +We began on Monday evening with a musical soirée at the Beethoven Rooms, +in Harley Street; and there was certainly nothing ghostly or sepulchral +in our opening day; only then there was nothing very spiritualistic +either. For a long time I thought it was going to be all tea and muffins +and pianoforte. By-and-by, however, Mr. Algernon Joy read a report of +the organization, which was rather more interesting than reports +generally are, and Mr. Benjamin Coleman, a venerable gentleman, the +father of London Spiritualists, delivered a Presidential address. Still +there were no ghosts--not even a spirit rap to augment the applause +which followed the speakers. Once my hopes revived when two new physical +mediums, with letters of recommendation from Chicago, were introduced, +and I expected to see the young gentlemen elongate or float round the +room; but nothing of the kind occurred; and a young lady dashed my hopes +to the ground by singing "The Nightingale's Trill." Mr. Morse gave an +address in the trance state--as I was afterwards informed; but he looked +and spoke so like an ordinary mortal that I should not have found out +that he was in an abnormal condition. + +I fear I went home from Harley Street not quite in so harmonious a frame +of mind as could have been wished. + +The next morning (Wednesday) Dr. Gully presided at the opening of the +Conference proper in Gower Street, where the rooms were more like vaults +and smelt earthy. The President ably enough summarized the objections +which had been raised to the Association, and also the objects it +proposed to itself. He said:--"If the Association keeps clear of +dogmatic intrusion, then will there be no fear of its becoming +sectarian. Already, however, there is a signal of dogmatism among +Spiritualists--and already the dogmatizers call themselves by another +name. But the Association has nothing to do with this. It knows its +function to be the investigation of facts, and of facts only; and, as +was said, no sect was ever yet framed on undoubted facts. Now what are +the facts of Spiritualism up to this date? They are reducible to +two:--1st. The continued life and individuality of the spirit body of +man after it has quitted its body of flesh; and, 2nd. Its communion with +spirits still in the flesh, under certain conditions, by physical +exhibition and mental impression. Spirit identity cannot be regarded yet +as an established fact--at all events, not so as to warrant us in +building upon it." + +I was agreeably surprised with the moderate tone of this address; and +after a brief theological discussion, Mr. W. H. Harrison, the editor of +the _Spiritualist_, followed with a paper on Organization. I do not know +what Mr. Harrison was not for organizing. Libraries, reading-rooms, +colleges, everything was to be spiritualized. Later in the day there was +a paper on Physical Manifestations. I should have preferred the +manifestations without the paper, for I fear I am a poor believer at +second hand. The reader told some "stumping" stories. Here is one as a +specimen--spiritual in more senses than one:-- + +"One evening I accompanied the Davenports to Mr. Guppy's residence in +Great Marlborough Street. After supper Ira, the eldest of the brothers, +Mr. Guppy, and myself, adjourned to a dark room, which Mr. Guppy had had +prepared for experimental purposes. To get to this room we had to pass +through a room that served the combined purposes of a sculptor's studio +and a billiard room. Emerging from this room we came into a yard, in one +corner of which the dark cabinet in question was constructed. Taking our +seats, we extinguished the light. Mr. Guppy was at the time smoking a +cigar. This was at once taken from his hand, and carried in the air, +where it could be seen by the light given out by its combustion. Some +whisky and water was standing on the table. This was handed to us to +drink. When it came to my turn, I found there was but little left in the +glass. This I pointed out. The glass was forthwith taken from my mouth, +and replenished and brought back again." + +On Thursday Mr. Everitt read a paper on Direct Writing by Spirits, +telling us that on one occasion nine hundred and thirty-six words were +written in six seconds. Mr. Everitt must be a bold man--I don't mean +altogether for asking us to believe that, but for saying what he did +about the medium, who was his wife:--"There are many considerations why +it would be impossible for the medium to have produced these writings. +For instance, we have sixteen papers upon the same subject, and in those +papers there are a great many ancient authors referred to. Mrs. Everitt +has never read or seen a single book of any of these authors, and, with +a few exceptions, their names had never been heard by her before, much +less did she know the age they lived in, the country they belonged to, +the works they had written, or the arguments made use of for the defence +of their doctrines and teachings. Besides the above reasons there are +physical and mental difficulties which preclude the possibility of their +being produced by the medium. The physical impossibility is the +marvellous rapidity of their production, as many as 936 words having +been written in six seconds. The mental difficulty is that the medium +has not a logical mind. Like most females, she takes a short cut by +jumping to conclusions. She does not, indeed cannot, argue out any +proposition by the ordinary rules of logic. Now the papers referred to +show that the author or authors are not only well acquainted with +ancient lore and the classics, but also possessed very high ability as +logicians. For the above reasons we conclude that the medium, from sheer +incapacity, both mentally and physically, could not have written these +papers, nor any other human being under the same circumstances. We are +therefore absolutely driven, after looking at the subject from every +conceivable point of view, to conclude respecting their production that +they came from a supernatural source, and were produced by supernatural +means." + +In the afternoon of this day a clergyman, whose name it would be highly +indecorous in me to mention, descanted on the aspect of Spiritualism +from his point of view in the Church of England. I understood the +purport of the paper to be (1) that he claimed the right of members of +the Church of England to investigate the phenomena; (2) that, if +convinced of their spiritual origin, such conviction need not shake the +investigator's previous faith. If the clergyman in question really said +no more than the printed reports of the Conference represent him to have +done, he rather reversed the conduct of Balaam, and cursed those he came +to bless. This is the curt résumé that went forth:-- + +"The Rev. ---- read a paper, in which he defined his position with +regard to Spiritualism as that of a mere inquirer, adding that even if +he became convinced of its truth, he saw no reason why he should alter +the opinions he at present held as a clergyman of the Church of England. +After eighteen months' inquiry into the subject, however, he was, +perhaps, more of a sceptic than before." If that was all the clergyman +in question had to say for the Association, they must rather regret they +ever "organized" him, and might well pray to be saved from their +friends; but I heard it whispered--presumably by a spirit voice--that +there had been a passage at arms between the lady secretary and the +clergyman in question, and that Miss--but no, I must not mention +names--the fair official punished the delinquent that most awful +penalty--silence. + +Friday finished the Conference with a trance paper--I did not know there +were such things--dictated to Mrs. Cora Tappan by invisible guides, and +was read by Miss--I mean by the fair incognita above-mentioned. Not a +manifestation--literally not the ghost of one--only this very glowing +peroration:--"But it is in a larger sense of social, mental, political, +and even religious renovation, that Spiritualism is destined to work its +chief results. The abrogation of the primal terror of mankind, the most +ancient spectre in the world of thought, grim and shadowy Death, is, in +itself, so vital a change that it constitutes a revolution in the world +of mind. Chemistry has already revealed the wonderful fact that no +ultimate atom can perish. The subtle chemistry of Spiritualism steps in +where science ceases, gathering up the ultimate atoms of thought into a +spiritual entity and proving them imperishable. Already has this thought +pervaded the popular mind, tinged the decaying forms of theology and +external science with its glow, and made the life of man a heritage of +immortal glory. More than this, taking spirit as the primal basis of +life, each individual, and all members of society and humanity in the +aggregate, must for ever strive to express its highest life (i.e. the +life of the spirit). The child will be taught from within, external +methods being employed only as aids, but never as dictators of thought. +Society will be the flowing out of spiritual truths, taking shape and +substance as the expression of the soul. Governments will be the +protecting power of a parent over loving children, instead of the +dictates of force or tyranny. Religion will wear its native garb of +simplicity and truth, the offspring of the love and faith that gave it +birth. Modern Spiritualism is as great a solvent of creeds, dogmas, +codes, scientific sophisms, as is the sunlight of the substances +contained in earth and air, revealing by the stages of intermediate +life, from man, through spirits, angels, archangels, seraphim, and +cherubim, to God, the glorious destiny of every soul. There is a vine +growing in the islands of the tropic seas that thrives best upon the +ancient ruins or crumbling walls of some edifice built by man; yet ever +as it thrives, the tiny tendrils penetrate between the fibres of the +stone, cutting and cutting till the whole fabric disappears, leaving +only the verdant mass of the foliage of the living vine. Spiritualism is +to the future humanity what this vine is to the ancient ruin." + +There was another paper coming on "Compound Consciousness," but the +title did not attract me. After my four days' patient waiting for ghosts +who never came and spirits that would not manifest, I felt, perhaps, a +little impatient, put on my hat and left abruptly--the fair secretary, +of whom I shall evermore stand in supreme awe, scowling at me when I did +so. As I passed into Gower Street--sweet, serene Gower Street, sacred +from the wheels of profane cabmen, I was almost surprised to see the +"materialized" forms around me; and it really was not until I got well +within sound--and smell--of the Underground Railway that I quite +realized my abased position, or got out of the spheres whither the lofty +periods of Mrs. Tappan's paper, so mellifluously delivered, had wafted +me! + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVIII. + +AN EVENING'S DIABLERIE. + + +Mr. Spurgeon a short time since oracularly placed it on record that, +having hitherto deemed Spiritualism humbug, he now believes it to be the +devil. This sudden conversion is, of course, final; and I proceed to +narrate a somewhat exceptional endorsement of the opinion which has +recently occurred within my own experience. There was a time, how long +ago it boots not to say, when _I_ considered Spiritualism humbug; and a +good deal came in my way which might have led me to the same conclusion +as Mr. Spurgeon, if I had been disposed--which I am not--to go with a +hop, skip, and jump. + +The investigator who first presented the "diabolical" theory to my +notice was a French Roman Catholic priest, who had broken discipline so +far as to enter the married state, but retained all the doctrines of his +former faith intact. He had, in fact, anticipated to some extent the +position of Père Hyacinthe; for it was several years ago I first became +acquainted with him. Individually as well as nationally this gentleman, +too, was prone to jump at conclusions. He lost a dear friend, and +immediately proceeded to communicate with the departed by means of +table-turning and rapping. For a few days he was quite convinced of the +identity of the communicating spirit; but then, and all within the +compass of a single week, he pronounced the exorcism of the Catholic +Church on the intelligence, I suppose experimentally in the first +instance; found his challenge not satisfactorily answered, and +immediately jumped to the conclusion that it was the foul fiend himself. +I sat very frequently with this gentleman afterwards, prior to the +experience I am about to narrate; and certainly the intelligence always +gave itself out to be the spirit unmentionable to ears polite, whose +presence my friend had taken for granted. + +I once went with this gentleman to the Marshalls, when they were at +their zenith. We arranged previously that he should not sit at the +table, but on one side, and give me a secret signal when he was silently +pronouncing the exorcism. He did so; and certainly all manifestations at +once ceased, though we had been in full converse with the invisibles a +moment before. Old Mrs. M. had to announce with much chagrin, "The +sperrits is gone!" + +My other partner in diablerie was a barrister whom I must not mention by +name, but who possessed considerable power as a writing medium. The +presiding intelligence in his case was, however, of a low character, and +given to very bad language. He avowed himself to have been a bargee in +the earth-plane--should one say the water-plane?--and certainly swore +like one. + +As for myself, I am destitute of all "medium-power," whatever that may +be, though enthusiastic spirituelle ladies tell me I am "mediumistic"--a +qualification which is still more occult to me. I own to being greatly +interested in spiritualistic inquiries, except as regards dark séances, +which have a tendency to send me to sleep; and I believe that my +presence does not "stop manifestations:" so that I suppose I am not a +hopeless sceptic. + +On the occasion of which I am about to speak we met in my study, where I +am in the habit of rearing a few pet snakes. I had just got a fine new +specimen; and having no proper habitation for it, had turned my +waste-basket upside-down on a small chess table, and left him to +tabernacle under it for the night. This was the table we generally used +for séances; and my legal friend, who was writing, immediately began to +use most foul language, on the subject of the snake, exhorting me to +"put him anywhere, put him in the cupboard, old boy." Such was the +edifying style of communication we always got through this worthy limb +of the law, but it was so much worse than usual on the present occasion +as to fairly make us roar at its insane abuse. The gentleman himself, I +ought to add, is by no means prone to profane swearing. My priestly +friend was making a wide-awake hat reply by tilts; and still got his old +reply that his Satanic Majesty was personally present. I did not in the +least credit this assertion, any more than I accepted as proven the +identity of the bargee, though I hold the impersonation in either case +to be a strange psychological fact. That I did not do so is best +evidenced by the circumstance that I said, "This spirit asserts himself +to be his Satanic Majesty. Have you either of you any objection to +communicate with him supposing such to be the case?" + +Neither one nor the other had the slightest. My Catholic friend, I knew, +always carried a bottle of holy water in his pocket, and at my entreaty +forbore for the moment to exorcise. The legal gentleman, though a +"writer" himself, was not at all convinced about the phenomena, as was +perhaps natural, seeing the exceedingly bad company to which it +professed to relegate him. As for me, my scepticism was to me robur et +æs triplex. I disposed of the snake, put out the gas; and down we three +sat, amid profound darkness, like three male witches in "Macbeth," +having previously locked the door to prevent any one disturbing our +hocus-pocus. + +Any one who has sat at an ordinary dark séance will recollect the number +of false starts the table makes, the exclamations, "Was that a rap?" +when the wood simply cracks, or, "Did you feel a cold air?" when +somebody breathes a little more heavily than usual. I have myself made +the experiment, though not without adding an open confession +immediately afterwards. I have blown on the fingers of the sitters, and +made them feel sure it was a "spirit aura," have done the neatest of +raps with my index-finger when my little finger has been securely hooked +in that of my next neighbour. In fact, for test purposes, dark séances +are a mistake, though they are admirable for a flirtation. + +On this occasion, however, we were very much in earnest, and there was +no waiting--I hope no collusion. I am quite sure I did not myself +consciously produce any manifestation. I can answer for my legal friend, +as far as any one person can answer for another; and we neither of us +suspected--or suspect--the priest of the order of St. Benedict; only we +would rather he had not pronounced such decided opinions; because the +wish might have been father to the thought, or rather the thought might, +in some utterly unaccountable way, have produced the effects that +followed. I have an idea that if Mr. Spurgeon in his present frame of +mind were to sit at a table for manifestations, he would obtain the +clearest assurance that it was "all the devil," just as it is well known +Roman Catholic sitters get communications from Roman Catholic spirits, +theists from theistic, and Mormons from the denizens of some +spiritualistic Utah. + +We had not, on this occasion, a moment to wait. The table forthwith +began to plunge and career about the room as though the bargee--or the +other personage himself--had actually been "in possession." It required +all our agility to follow it in its rapid motion about the room. At last +it became comparatively quiet; and I received in reply to a question as +to who was present the exceedingly objectionable name which Mr. Spurgeon +has coupled with the whole subject. Some persons I know entertain a +certain amount of respect, or at all events awe, for the intelligence in +question. For myself I feel nothing of the kind, and therefore I added, +"If you are what you profess to be, give us some proof." We were sitting +with only the tips of our fingers on the table; but it forthwith rose up +quite perpendicularly, and came down with a crash that completely +shivered it in pieces. I have not the slightest idea how it was +done--but it certainly was done. A large portion of the table was +reduced to a condition that fitted it for Messrs. Bryant and May's +manufactory. When we lighted the gas and looked at our watches we found +we had only been sitting a very few minutes. + +Of course the obvious explanation will be that the gentleman with the +diabolical theory and the evidently strong will-power (as evidenced in +the dénouement at Mrs. Marshall's) produced the diabolical effects +consciously or unconsciously. I do not think the former was the case; +and if it is possible to get such results unconsciously, that phenomenon +is quite as curious as the spiritualistic explanation. In fact I am not +sure that the psychological is not more difficult than the +pneumatological theory. My own notion is that the "Psychic Force" people +are clearly on the right track, though their cause, as at present +elaborated, is not yet equal to cover all the effects. + +Mr. Spurgeon and the "diabolists" concede the whole of the +spiritualistic position. They not only say that the effects are due to +spiritual causes, but they also identify the producing spirit. I have +never been able to get as far as that. I did not feel on the occasion in +question at all as though I had been in communication with his sable +Majesty. If I was, certainly my respect for that potentate is not +increased, for I should have fancied he would have done something much +"bigger" in reply to my challenge than smash up a small chess-table. +However, there was a sort of uncanny feeling about the experience, and +it seemed to me so far illustrative of Mr. Spurgeon's position as to be +worth committing to paper. If that gentleman, however, lends such a +doctrine the sanction of his approval, he will, let him be assured, do +more to confirm the claims of Spiritualism than all the sneers of +Professors Huxley and Tyndall, and the scorn of Mr. George Henry Lewes +can undo. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIX. + +SPIRITUAL ATHLETES. + + +I am about for once to depart from my usual custom of narrating only +personal experiences, and in this and the two following chapters print +the communications of a friend who shares my interest in these matters, +and has frequently accompanied me in my investigations into this +mysterious Borderland. In these cases, however, he investigated on his +own account, and I am not responsible for the conclusions at which he +arrives:-- + +"Attracted," he says, "by an article in a popular journal on the subject +of 'Spirit Faces,' I determined, if possible, to 'assist' at a séance. I +had not hitherto taken much interest in spiritualistic matters, because +in the first place, the cui bono question remained persistently +unanswered; and, secondly, because most of the 'doings' were in the +dark; and it appears to me that, given darkness, there are few things in +the way of conjuring and ventriloquism that could _not_ be done. +Terpsichorean tables and talking hats never had any particular charm for +me, because I could always make a table dance, or a hat say anything I +wanted it to say. I saw the Davenports, and preferred Professor +Anderson. I even went to a dark séance at the Marshalls', and noticed +that when Mr. and Mrs. Marshall had perceptibly partaken of beefsteak +and onions, or some equally fragrant food, for dinner, the breath which +accompanied the spirit-voices was unmistakably impregnated with onions +too; and hence I drew my own conclusions. I am not saying I know how Mr. +and Mrs. Marshall do John King and Katie King. I don't know how +Professor Anderson or Professor Pepper do their tricks. I confess Mr. +Home and the Marshalls have the pull of the professors in one way--that +is, they don't perform on a platform but in a private room, and they let +you examine everything beforehand. Theirs is the ars celare artem. +Again, I don't know how men in the street get out of the very curious +knots in which I have tied them, but I know they do it; and therefore I +am sure the Davenports could do it without calling in the ghost of one's +deceased grandmamma as a sort of Deus--or rather Dea--ex machinâ. I have +never seen Mr. Home handle fire or elongate. I have seen him 'levitate,' +or float, and I candidly confess I don't know how he does it, any more +than I can solve Sir David Brewster's trick by which four young ladies +can lift a heavy man on the points of their fingers. It's very +mysterious, and very nice for the man. + +"So it happened that I had shelved spiritualism for some time, when the +article on 'Spirit Faces' came under my notice. I did not care so much +about the face part of the matter (at least not the spirit face), but I +wanted to test it as a matter of athletics. In one respect the +physiognomy did interest me, for I read that the medium was +pretty--mediums, according to my experience, being generally very much +the reverse--and I found that report had certainly not misrepresented +the young lady in this respect. Her name is now public property, so I +need not veil it under the pseudonyms of Miss Blank, or Asterisk, or +anything of that sort. Miss Florence Cook, then, is a trim little lady +of sweet sixteen, and dwells beneath the parental roof in an eastern +suburb of London. It is quite true she does not accept payment for +séances, which I strove to impress upon her was very foolish indeed, for +she works almost as hard as Lulu twice in the week. However, she, or +rather her parents, take high ground in the matter, which of course is +very praiseworthy on their parts, and convenient for their guests if +they happen to be impecunious. + +"Now, I do not purpose going through the details of the séance, which +was considerably irksome, being protracted by endless psalm singing. +What I want to do--with Miss Cook's permission--is to calculate the +chances of her being sufficiently athletic to perform the tricks +herself, without the aid of spirits. Does she not underrate her unaided +powers in assigning a supernatural cause for the effects produced? + +"Well, then, this lithe little lady is arrayed in the ordinary garb of +the nineteenth century with what is technically termed a 'pannier,' and +large open sleeves, each of which, I fear, she must have found +considerably in the way, as also the sundry lockets and other nick-nacks +suspended from her neck. However, there they were. We put her in a +cupboard, which had a single Windsor chair in it, and laid a stoutish +new cord on her lap. Then came singing, which may or may not have been +intended to drown any noise in the cupboard; but, after some delay, she +was found tied around the waist, neck, and two wrists, and the ends of +the cord fastened to the back of the chair. These knots we sealed, and +consigned her to the cupboard again. Shortly after there appeared at an +aperture in the upper portion of the cupboard a face which looked +utterly unspiritual and precisely like that of the medium, only with +some white drapery thrown over the head. The aperture was just the +height that would have allowed Miss Cook to stand on the chair and peep +out. I do not say she did; I am only calculating the height. The face +remained some minutes in a strong light; then descended. We opened the +cupboard, and found the little lady tied as before with the seals +unbroken. Spiritual, or material, it was clever. + +"After a pause, the same process was gone through again; only this time +stout tape was substituted for rope. The cord cut the girl's wrists; and +tape was almost more satisfactory. Again she was bound, and we sealed +the knots; and again a face appeared--this time quite black, and not +like the medium at all. I noticed that the drapery ran right round the +face, and cut it off at a straight line on the lower part. This gave the +idea of a mask. I am not saying it was a mask. I am only throwing out a +hint that, if the 'spirits' wish to convince people they should let the +neck be well seen. I am bound to say it bore a strong light for several +minutes; and some people say they saw eyelids. I did not. I do not say +they were not there. I know how impossible it is to prove a negative, +and only say I did not see them. + +"What followed possessed no special interest for any but the professed +spiritualist, as it was done without any tying; Miss Cook arguing +logically enough that, if the previous manifestations were clearly +proved to have taken place by other agency than that of the medium +herself, mere multiplication of proofs was unnecessary. I had only gone +to study the matter from an athletic point of view; and I certainly came +away impressed with the idea that, if Miss Florence Cook first got into +and then got out of those knots, she was even more nimble and lithesome +than she looked, and ought to start an Amateur Ladies' Athletic Society +forthwith. As to her making faces at us through the window, I did not +care sufficiently about the matter to inquire whether she did or not, +because, if she got out of the ropes, it was easy enough to get on the +chair and make faces. + +"Of course the cui bono remains. The professors make money by it; and +Miss Cook can make at most, only a little mild and scarcely enviable +notoriety. A satirical old friend of mine, when I told him the above +facts, chuckled, and said, 'That's quite enough for a girl of sixteen; +and anything that's do-able, a girl of those years will do.' It was no +use talking to him of panniers and loose sleeves, and lockets. He was an +old bachelor, and knew nothing about such things. At least, he had no +business to, if he did. + +"I cannot forbear adding a domestic episode, though it is perhaps +scarcely relevant to the subject. Certain young imps in my house, +hearing what I had seen, got up an exhibition of spirit faces for my +benefit. They rigged up a kind of Punch-and-Judy erection, and the +cleanest of them did the spirit face, with a white pocket-handkerchief +over his head. He looked as stolid and unwinking as the genuine +spirit-physiognomy itself. The gas was lowered to a 'dim religious +light,' and then a black coal-scuttle, with features chalked on it, +deceived some of the circle into the idea that it was a nigger. But the +one element which interested me was wanting; there was no rope-tying +which could at all entitle the juvenile performance to be categorized +under 'Spiritual Athletics.'" + + + + +CHAPTER XL. + +"SPOTTING" SPIRIT MEDIUMS. + + +"Among the recent utterances of spiritualistic organs is one to the +effect that 'manifestations' come in cycles--in 'great waves,' I believe +was the actual expression; and of the many fluctuations to which +spiritualistic society has been exposed of late is a very prominent +irruption of young lady mediums. The time seems to have gone by for +portly matrons to be wafted aërially from the northern suburbs to the +W.C. district, or elderly spinsters to exhibit spirit drawings which +gave one the idea of a water-colour palette having been overturned, and +the resulting 'mess' sat upon for the purposes of concealment. Even +inspirational speakers have so far 'gone out' as to subside from +aristocratic halls to decidedly second-rate institutions down back +streets. In fact, the 'wave' that has come over the spirit world seems +to resemble that which has also supervened upon the purely mundane +arrangements of Messrs. Spiers and Pond; and we anxious investigators +can scarcely complain of the change which brings us face to face with +fair young maidens in their teens to the exclusion of the matrons and +spinsters aforesaid, or the male medium who was once irreverently +termed by a narrator a 'bull-necked young man.' + +"The names of these interesting young denizens of two worlds are so well +known that it is perhaps unnecessary caution or superfluous gallantry to +conceal them; but I will err, if error it be, on the safe side, and call +No. 1 Miss C. and No. 2 Miss S., premising only that each is decidedly +attractive, with the unquestioned advantage of having seen only some +sixteen or seventeen summers apiece. Miss C. has been 'out' some time; +her familiar being 'Katie King;' while Miss S. has made her debut more +recently, having for her attendant sprites one 'Florence Maple,' a young +lady spirit who has given a wrong terrestrial address in Aberdeen, and +Peter, a defunct market gardener, who sings through the young lady's +organism in a clear baritone voice. It was to me personally a source of +great satisfaction when I learnt that Miss C. had been taken in hand by +a F.R.S.--whom I will call henceforth the Professor--and Miss S. by a +Serjeant learned in the law. Now, if ever, I thought, we have a chance +of hearing what science and evidential acumen have to say on the subject +of 'Face Manifestations.' Each of these gentlemen, I ought to mention, +had written voluminously on the subject of Spiritualism, and both seemed +inclined to contest its claims in favour of some occult physical--or, as +they named it, psychic--force. This would make their verdict the more +valuable to outsiders, as it was clear they had not approached the +subject with a foregone conclusion in its favour. True, the +Spiritualists claimed both the Professor and the Serjeant persistently +as their own; but Spiritualists have a way of thinking everybody +'converted' who simply sits still in a decorous manner, and keeps his +eyes open without loudly proclaiming scepticism. + +"Personally I had been, up to the date of present occurrences, +accustomed to summarize my convictions on the subject by the +conveniently elastic formula that there might be 'something in it.' I +still think so; but perhaps with a difference. + +"For the former of the two exposés--if such they shall be deemed--I am +compelled to rely on documentary evidence; but I have 'sat' so many +times with Miss S., have been requested so often by the inspirational +Peter to 'listen to the whip-poor-will, a-singin' on the tree,' have +shaken the spirit hand, gazed on the spirit face, and even cut off +portions of the spirit veil of the fair Florence, that I can follow the +order of events just as though I had been present. I must confess the +wonderful similarity existing between Miss S. and Florence had exercised +me considerably, and perhaps prepared me to accept with calmness what +followed. Why delay the result? Miss S. and her mamma were invited to +the country house of the learned Serjeant. A 'cabinet' was extemporized +in the bay of the window, over which the curtains were drawn and a shawl +pinned. With a confidence which is really charming to contemplate, no +'tests' were asked of the medium, no 'conditions' imposed on the sitter. +Miss S. was put in the cabinet with only a chair, and the expectant +circle waited with patience. In due time the curtains were drawn aside, +and the spirit-face appeared at the opening. It was still the facsimile +of Miss S., with the eyes piously turned up and a ghostly head-dress +covering the hair. One by one the assembled were summoned to look more +closely. The initiated gazed and passed on, knowing they must not peep; +but, alas, one lady who was _not_ initiated, and therefore unaware of +the tacitly imposed conditions, imitated the example of Mother Eve, drew +aside the curtains and exposed the unspiritual form of Miss S. standing +on the chair; the 'spirit-hands' at the same time struggling so +convulsively to close the aperture that the head-gear fell off, and +betrayed the somewhat voluminous chignon of Miss S. herself. Hereupon +ensued a row, it being declared that the medium was killed, though +eventually order was restored by the rather incongruous process of a +gentleman present singing a comic song. The learned Serjeant still +clings to the belief that Miss S. was in a condition of 'unconscious +somnambulism.' I only hope, if ever I am arraigned before him in his +judicial capacity, he will extend his benevolent credulity to me in an +equal degree, and give me the benefit of the doubt. + +"It may be in the recollection of those who follow the fluctuations of +the Spiritual 'wave' that some months ago a Dialectical gentleman seized +rudely on the spirit form of Katie, which struggled violently with him, +scratching his face and pulling out his whiskers, eventually making good +its retreat into the cupboard, where Miss C. was presumably bound hand +and foot. I must confess the fact of that escape rather prejudiced me in +favour of Katie, though I would rather she had evaporated into thin air, +and left the dialectical whiskers intact. Still it scored a point on +Katie's side, and I eagerly availed myself of the opportunity to pay my +devoirs at the shrine of Miss C.; the more so as the Professor had +asserted twice that he had seen and handled the form of the medium while +looking on and conversing with that of the spirit at the same time. If I +could retain my former faith in the Professor, of course this would be +final and my conversion an accomplished fact. + +"We sat no longer in the subterranean breakfast room of Miss C.'s +parental abode; but moved up to the parlour floor, where two rooms +communicated through folding doors, the front apartment being that in +which we assembled, and the back used as a bedroom, where the ladies +took off their 'things.' This latter room, be it remembered, had a +second room communicating with the passage, and so with the universe of +space in general. One leaf of the folding doors was closed, and a +curtain hung over the other. Pillows were placed on the floor, just +inside the curtain, and the little medium, who was nattily arrayed in a +blue dress, was laid upon them. We were requested to sing and talk +during 'materialization,' and there was as much putting up and lowering +of the light as in a modern sensation drama. The Professor acted all the +time as Master of the Ceremonies, retaining his place at the aperture; +and I fear, from the very first, exciting suspicion by his marked +attentions, not to the medium, but to the ghost. When it did come it was +arrayed according to orthodox ghost fashion, in loose white garments, +and I must confess with no resemblance to Miss C. We were at the same +time shown the recumbent form of the pillowed medium, and there +certainly was something blue, which might have been Miss C., or only her +gown going to the wash. By-and-by, however, with 'lights down,' a bottle +of phosphorized oil was produced, and by this weird and uncanny radiance +one or two privileged individuals were led by the 'ghost' into the back +bedroom, and allowed to put their hands on the entranced form of the +medium. I was not of the 'elect,' but I talked to those who were, and +their opinion was that the 'ghost' was a much stouter, bigger woman than +the medium; and I must confess that certain unhallowed ideas of the +bedroom door and the adjacent kitchen stairs connected themselves in my +mind with recollections of a brawny servant girl who used to sit sentry +over the cupboard in the breakfast room. Where was she? + +"As a final bonne bouche the spirit made its exit from the side of the +folding door covered by the curtain, and immediately Miss C. rose up +with dishevelled locks in a way that must have been satisfactory to +anybody who knew nothing of the back door and the brawny servant, or who +had never seen the late Mr. Charles Kean act in the 'Corsican Brothers' +or the 'Courier of Lyons.' + +"I am free to confess the final death-blow to my belief that there might +be 'something in' the Face Manifestations was given by the effusive +Professor who has 'gone in' for the Double with a pertinacity altogether +opposed to the calm judicial examination of his brother learned in the +law, and with prejudice scarcely becoming a F.R.S. + +"I am quite aware that all this proves nothing. Miss S. and Miss C. may +each justify Longfellow's adjuration-- + + 'Trust her not, she is fooling thee;' + +and yet ghosts be as genuine as guano. Only I fancy the 'wave' of young +ladies will have to ebb for a little while; and I am exceedingly +interested in speculating as to what will be the next 'cycle.' From +'information I have received,' emanating from Brighton, I am strongly of +opinion that babies are looking up in the ghost market, and that our +next manifestations may come through an infant phenomenon." + + + + +CHAPTER XLI. + +A SÉANCE FOR SCEPTICS. + + +"Attracted by the prominence recently given to the subject of +Spiritualism in the _Times_, and undeterred by that journal's subsequent +recantation, or the inevitable scorn of the _Saturday Review_, I +determined to test for myself the value of the testimony so copiously +quoted by believers in the modern marvel. Clearly if certain published +letters of the period were to be put in evidence, Spiritualism had very +much the better, and Science exceedingly little to say for itself. But +we all know that this is a subject on which scientific men are apt to be +reticent. 'Tacere tutum est' seems the Fabian policy adopted by those +who find this new Hannibal suddenly come from across sea into their +midst. It is moreover a subject about which the public will not be +convinced by any amount of writing or talking, but simply by what it can +see and handle for itself. It may be of service, then, if I put on +record the result of an examination made below the surface of this +matter. + +"Like most other miracles this particular one evidently has its phases +and comes about in cycles. For a generation past, or nearly so, Modern +Spiritualism has been so far allied with Table-turning and mysterious +rappings as to have appropriated to itself in consequence certain +ludicrous titles, against which it vainly protests. Then cropped up +'levitations' and 'elongations' of the person, and Mr. Home delighted to +put red-hot coals on the heads of his friends. None of these +manifestations, however, were sufficient to make the spiritualistic +theory any other than a huge petitio principii. The Davenports were the +first to inaugurate on anything like an extended scale the alleged +appearance of the human body, or rather of certain members of the human +body, principally arms and hands, through the peep-hole of their +cabinet. Then came 'spirit-voices' with Mrs. Marshall, and aërial +transits on the part of Mrs. Guppy; then the entire 'form of the +departed' was said to be visible chez Messrs. Herne and Williams in +Lamb's Conduit Street, whose abode formed Mrs. Guppy's terminus on the +occasion of her nocturnal voyage. Then came Miss Florence Cook's spirit +faces at Hackney, which were produced under a strong light, which +submitted to be touched and tested in what seemed a very complete +manner, and even held conversations with persons in the circle. Finally, +I heard it whispered that these faces were being recognised on a +somewhat extensive scale at the séances of Mrs. Holmes, in Old Quebec +Street, where certain other marvels were also to be witnessed, which +decided me on paying that lady a visit. + +"Even these, however, were not the principal attractions which drew me +to the tripod of the seeress in Quebec Street. It had been continually +urged as an argument against the claims of Modern Spiritualism, first, +that it shunned the light and clave to 'dark' circles; secondly, that it +was over-sensitive on the subject of 'sceptics.' Surely, we are all +sceptics in the sense of investigators. The most pretentious disciple of +Spiritualism does not claim to have exhausted the subject. On the +contrary, they all tell us we are now only learning the alphabet of the +craft. Perhaps the recognised Spirit-faces may have landed us in words +of one syllable, but scarcely more. However, the great advantage which +Mrs. Holmes possessed in my eyes over all professors of the new art was +that she did not object to sceptics. Accordingly to Quebec Street I +went, for the distinct purpose of testing the question of recognition. +If I myself, or any person on whose testimony I could rely, established +a single case of undoubted recognition, that, I felt, would go farther +than anything else towards solving the spiritualistic problem. + +"I devoted two Monday evenings to this business; that being the day on +which Mrs. Holmes, as she phrases it, 'sits for faces.' On the former of +the two occasions twenty-seven persons assembled, and the first portion +of the evening was devoted to the Dark Séance, which presented some +novel features in itself, but was not the special object for which I +was present. Mrs. Holmes, who is a self-possessed American lady, +evidently equal to tackling any number of sceptics, was securely tied in +a chair. All the circle joined hands; and certainly, as soon as the +light was out, fiddles, guitars, tambourines and bells did fly about the +room in a very unaccountable manner, and when the candle was lighted, I +found a fiddle-bow down my back, a guitar on my lap, and a tambourine +ring round my neck. But there was nothing spiritual in this, and the +voice which addressed us familiarly during the operation may or may not +have been a spirit voice. + +"Mrs. Holmes having been released from some very perplexing knots, +avowedly by Spirit power, proceeded to what is called the 'Ring Test,' +and I was honoured by being selected to make the experiment. I sat in +the centre of the room and held both her hands firmly in mine. I passed +my hands over her arms, without relaxing my grasp, so as to feel that +she had nothing secreted there; when suddenly a tambourine ring, +jinglers and all, was passed on to my arm. Very remarkable; but still +not necessarily spiritual. Certain clairvoyants present said they could +witness the 'disintegration' of the ring. I only felt it pass on to my +arm. On the occasion of my second visit this same feat was performed on +an elderly gentleman, a very confirmed sceptic indeed. This second +circle consisted of twenty persons, many of them very pronounced +disbelievers, and not a little inclined to be 'chaffy.' However all +went on swimmingly. + +"After about an hour of rather riotous dark séance, lights were +rekindled and circles re-arranged for the Face Séance which takes place +in subdued light. In the space occupied by the folding doors between the +front and back room a large black screen is placed, with an aperture, or +peep-hole, about eighteen inches square, cut in it. The most minute +examination of this back room is allowed, and I took care to lock both +doors, leaving the keys crosswise in the key-hole, so that they could +not be opened from the outside. We then took our seats in the front room +in three or four lines. I myself occupied the centre of the first row, +about four feet from the screen, Mr. and Mrs. Holmes sitting at a small +table in front of the screen; the theory being that the spirits behind +collect from their 'emanations' material to form the faces. Soon after +we were in position a most ghostly-looking child's face appeared at the +aperture, but was not recognised. Several other corpse-like visages +followed with like absence of recognition. Then came a very old lady's +face, quite life-like, and Mrs. Holmes informed us that the cadaverous +people were those only recently deceased. The old lady looked anxiously +round as if expecting to be recognised, but nobody claimed acquaintance. +In fact no face was recognised at my first visit. The next was a jovial +Joe Bagstock kind of face which peered quite merrily round our circle, +and lastly came a most life-like countenance of an elderly man. This +face, which had a strange leaden look about the eyes, came so close to +the orifice that it actually _lifted_ its grey beard outside. On the +occasion of my second visit a lady present distinctly recognised this as +the face of her husband, and asked the form to show its hand as an +additional mark of identity. This request was complied with, the figure +lifting a thin, white and--as the widow expressed it--'aristocratic' +hand, and kissing it most politely. I am bound to say there was less +emotion manifested on the part of the lady than I should have expected +under the circumstances; and a young man who accompanied her, and who +from the likeness to her must have been her son, surveyed his +resuscitated papa calmly through a double-barrelled opera glass. I am +not sure that I am at liberty to give this lady's name; but, at this +second visit, Mrs. Makdougall Gregory, of 21, Green Street, Grosvenor +Square, positively identified the old lady above-mentioned as a Scotch +lady of title well known to her. + +"I myself was promised that a relation of my own would appear on a +future occasion; but on neither of those when I attended did I see +anything that would enable me to test the value of the identifications. +The faces, however, were so perfectly life-like, with the solitary +exception of a dull leaden expression in the eye, that I cannot imagine +the possibility of a doubt existing as to whether they belonged to +persons one knew or not. At all events here is the opportunity of making +the test. No amount of scepticism is a bar to being present. The +appearances are not limited to a privileged few. All see alike: so that +the matter is removed out of the sphere of 'hallucinations.' Everything +is done in the light, too, as far as the faces are concerned. So that +several not unreasonable test-conditions are fulfilled in this case, and +so far a step made in advance of previous manifestations. + +"We may well indeed pause--at least I know I did--to shake ourselves, +and ask whereabouts we are. Is this a gigantic imposture? or are the +Witch of Endor and the Cumæan Sibyl revived in the unromantic +neighbourhood of the Marble Arch, and under circumstances that +altogether remove them from the category of the miraculous? England will +take a good deal of convincing on this subject, which is evidently one +that no amount of 'involuntary muscular action,' or 'unconscious +cerebration,' will cover. What if the good old-fashioned ghost be a +reality after all, and Cock Lane no region of the supernatural? + +"What then? Why, one may expect to meet one's deceased ancestors at any +hour of the day or night, provided only there be a screen for them to +'form' behind, and a light sufficiently subdued to prevent +disintegration; with, of course, the necessary pigeon-hole for the +display of their venerable physiognomies. On their side of the question, +it will be idle to say, 'No rest but the grave!' for there may not be +rest even there, if Delphic priestesses and Cumæan Sibyls come into +vogue again; and we may as well omit the letters R. I. P. from our +obituary notices as a purely superfluous form of speech." + + * * * * * + +Speaking now in my own proper person as author, I may mention--as I have +purposely deferred doing up to this point--that a light was subsequently +struck at one of Mrs. Holmes's Dark Séances, and that the discoveries +thus made rendered the séance a final one. Mr. and Mrs. Holmes retired, +first to Brighton, and then to America. + +They were, at the time of my writing, holding successful séances in the +latter place; and public (Spiritualistic) opinion still clings to the +belief that Mrs. Holmes is a genuine medium. + + + + +CHAPTER XLII. + +AN EVENING WITH THE HIGHER SPIRITS. + + +At the head of social heresies, and rapidly beginning to take rank as a +religious heresy as well, I have no hesitation in placing modern +Spiritualism. Those who associate this latest mystery only with gyrating +articles of furniture, rapping tables, or simpering planchettes, are +simply in the abyss of ignorance, and dangerously underrate the gravity +of the subject. The later development of Spirit Faces and Spirit Forms, +each of which I have examined thoroughly, and made the results of my +observations public, fail to afford any adequate idea of the pitch to +which the mania--if mania it be--has attained. To many persons +Spiritualism forms the ultimatum, not only in science, but also in +religion. Whatever the Spirits tell them they believe and do as devoutly +as the Protestant obeys his Bible, the Catholic his Church, or the +scientific man follows up the results of his demonstrations. That is, in +fact, the position they assume. They claim to have attained in matters +of religion to demonstration as clear and infallible as the philosopher +does in pure science. They say no longer "We believe," but "We know." +These people care little for the vagaries of Dark Circles, or even the +doings of young ladies with "doubles." The flight of Mrs. Guppy through +the air, the elongation of Mr. Home's braces, the insertion of live +coals among the intricacies of Mr. S. C. Hall's exuberant locks, are but +the A B C which have led them to their present advanced position. These +physical "manifestations" may do for the neophytes. They are the +initiated. I am the initiated; or I ought to be, if patience and +perseverance constitute serving an apprenticeship. I have devoted a good +portion of my late life to the study. I have given up valuable evenings +through several consecutive winters to dark séances; have had my hair +pulled, my head thumped with paper tubes, and suffered other indignities +at the hands of the "Invisibles;" and, worse than all, my friends have +looked upon me as a lunatic for my pains, and if my enemies could have +wrought their will they would have incarcerated me as non compos, or +made an auto-da-fe of me as a heretic years ago. + +Through sheer length of service, then, if on no other account, I had +grown somewhat blasé with the ordinary run of manifestations. Spirit +Faces no longer interest me; for I seek among them in vain the +lineaments of my departed friends. Spirit Hands I shake as unconcernedly +as I do those of my familiar acquaintances at the club or in the street. +I have even cut off a portion of the veil of Miss Florence Maple, the +Aberdeen Spirit, and gone away with it in my pocket: so that it was, at +all events, a new sensation when I received an invitation to be present +at a trance séance, where one of the Higher Spirits communicated to the +assembled things undreamed of in mundane philosophy. The sitting was a +strictly private one; so I must not mention names or localities; but +this does not matter, as I have no marvels in the vulgar sense of the +word to relate: only Higher Teachings, which will do just as well with +asterisks or initials as with the names in full. + +The scene, then, was an artist's studio at the West End of London, and +the medium a magnetic lady with whom I had frequently sat before, though +not for the "Higher" teachings. Her instruction had so far come in the +shape of very vigorous raps, which ruined my knuckles to imitate them, +and in levitation of a small and volatile chess table, which resisted +all my efforts to keep it to the paths of propriety. This lady was not +young; and I confess frankly this was, to my thinking, an advantage. +When I once told a sceptical friend about Miss Florence Cook's séance, +and added, triumphantly, "Why, she's a pretty little simple girl of +sixteen," that clenched the doubts of this Thomas at once, for he +rejoined, "What is there that a pretty little _simple_ girl of sixteen +won't do?" Miss Showers is sweet sixteen, too; and when "Peter" sings +through her in a clear baritone voice, I cannot, despite myself, help +the thought occasionally flitting across my mind, "Would that you were +six-and-twenty, or, better still, six-and-thirty, instead of sixteen!" +Without specifying to which of the two latter classes our present medium +belonged, one might venture to say she had safely passed the former. She +was of that ripe and Rubens-like beauty to which we could well imagine +some "Higher" spirit offering the golden apple of its approval, however +the skittish Paris of the spheres might incline to sweet sixteen. I had +a short time before sat infructuously with this lady, when a distressing +contretemps occurred. We were going in for a dark séance then, and just +as we fancied the revenants were about to justify the title, we were +startled by a crash, and on my lighting up, all of the medium I could +see were two ankles protruding from beneath the table. She had fainted +"right off," as the ladies say, and it required something strong to +bring her to. In fact, we all had a "refresher," I recollect, for +sitting is generally found to be exhausting to the circle as well as to +the medium. On the present occasion, however, everything was, if not en +plein jour, en plein gaz. There was a good deal of preliminary +difficulty as to the choice of a chair for the medium. Our artist-friend +had a lot of antique affairs in his studio, no two being alike, and I +was glad to see the lady select a capacious one with arms to it, from +which she would not be likely to topple off when the spirits took +possession. The rest of us sat in a sort of irregular circle round the +room, myself alone being accommodated with a small table, not for the +purposes of turning (I am set down as "too physical") but in order to +report the utterances of the Higher Spirits. We were five "assistants" +in all--our host, a young lady residing with him, another lady well +known as a musical artiste, with her mamma and my unworthy self. +Installed in her comfortable chair, the medium went through a series of +facial contortions, most of which looked the reverse of pleasing, though +occasionally she smiled benignantly par parenthèse. I was told--or I +understood it so--that this represented her upward passage through +different spheres. She was performing, in fact, a sort of spiritualistic +"Excelsior." By way of assimilating our minds to the matter in hand, we +discussed the Apocryphal Gospels, which happened to be lying on the +table; and very soon, without any other process than the facial +contortions having been gone through, the medium broke silence, and, in +measured tones of considerable benignity, said:--"Friends, we greet you +in the name of our Lord and Master. Let us say the Lord's Prayer." + +She then repeated the Lord's Prayer, with considerable alterations from +the Authorized Version, especially, I noticed, inserting the +Swedenborgian expressions, "the Heavens," "on earth;" but also altering +the order of the clauses, and omitting one altogether. She then informed +us that she was ready to answer questions on any subject, but that we +were not bound to accept any teaching which she--or let us say they, +for it was the spirits now speaking--might give us. "What did we wish to +know?" I always notice that when this question is asked at a spirit +circle everybody simultaneously shuts up, as though the desire for +knowledge were dried at its source. Nobody spoke, and I myself was not +prepared with a subject, but I had just been reviewing a Swedenborgian +book, and I softly insinuated "Spiritual Marriage." It was graciously +accepted; and our Sibyl thus delivered herself:--Mankind, the higher +Spirit or Spirits, said was originally created in pairs, and the soul +was still dual. Somehow or other--my notes are not quite clear how--the +parts had got mixed up, separated, or wrongly sorted. There were, +however, some advantages in this wrong sorting, which was so frequent an +accident of terrestrial marriage, since it was possible for people to be +too much alike--an observation I fancied I had heard before, or at least +not so profound a one as to need a ghost "Come from the dead to tell us +that, Horatio!" When the right halves did get together on earth the good +developed for good, the evil for evil, until they got to the heavens or +the other places--they were all plurals. Swedenborgianism has an +objection to the singular number; and I could not fail to identify the +teaching of the Higher Spirit at once with that of the New Jerusalem +Church. Two preliminary facts were brought before us; the Higher Spirits +were in theology Swedenborgian, and in medical practice homoeopaths. So +was the Medium. Although there was no marriage in the spiritual world, +in our sense of the term, there was not only this re-sorting and +junction of the disunited bivalves, but there were actual "nuptials" +celebrated. We were to be careful and understand that what terrestrials +called marriage celestials named nuptials--it seemed to me rather a +distinction without a difference. There was no need of any ceremony, but +still a ceremony was pleasing and also significant. I asked if it was +true, as I had read in the Swedenborgian book, that all adult angels +were married. She replied, "Yes; they married from the age of 18 to 24, +and the male was always a few years older than the female." + +There was a tendency, which I continually had to check, on the part of +the Medium to wander off from matrimonial to theological subjects; and +the latter, though trite, were scarcely so heterodox as I expected. I +had found most "spiritualistic" teaching to be purely Theistic. Love to +God and man were declared to be the great essentials, and creeds to +matter little. If a man loved truth, it was no matter how wild or absurd +his ideas might be. The love of God might seem a merely abstract idea, +but it was not so. To love goodness was to love God. The love of the +neighbour, in the sense of loving all one's kind, might seem hard, too; +but it was not really so. There were in the sphere where this +Intelligence dwelt millions of angels, or good spirits, working for the +salvation of men. + +I ought to mention that this lady, in her normal condition, is +singularly reticent, and that the "communications" I chronicle were +delivered fluently in one unbroken chain of what often rose into real +eloquence. + +So Christ came for the good of man, and Christ was not the only Messiah +who had appeared on earth. In the millions of ages that had passed over +our globe, and in the other planets of our solar system, there had risen +up "other men filled with the spirit of good, and so Sons of God." I +here tried to get at the views of the Higher Spirits on the Divinity of +Christ, but found considerable haziness; at one time it was roundly +asserted, at another it seemed to me explained away by such expressions +as I have quoted above. + +Our planet, I was informed, had been made the subject of special care +because we were more material, more "solid" than the inhabitants of any +other orb. There was an essential difference between Christ and all +other great teachers, such as Buddha; and there were no historical +records of any other manifestation of the Messiah than that we +possessed; but such manifestations had taken place. + +The Spirit then gave us an account of its surroundings, which is, I +believe, purely Swedenborgian. The "celestial" angels were devoted to +truth, the "spiritual" angels to goodness; and so, too, there were the +Homes of the Satans, where falsehoods prevailed, and of the Devils, +where evils predominated. Spirits from each of these came to man and +held him in equilibrio; but gained power as his will inclined towards +them. The will was not altogether free, because affected by inherited +tendencies; but the "determination" was. I have no idea what the Higher +Spirit meant by this; and I rather fancy the Higher Spirit was in some +doubt itself. It rather put me in mind of the definition of metaphysics: +"If you are talking to me of what you know nothing about, and I don't +understand a word of what you are saying--that's metaphysics." + +All can do good, continued the Sibyl. Evil cannot compel you. Utter only +such an aspiration as, "God help me," and it brings a crowd of angels +round you. From those who came to them from this world, however, they +(the Higher Spirits) found that teachers taught more about what we were +to think than what we were to do. Goodness was so easy. A right belief +made us happier; but right action was essential. + +Pushed by our host, who was rather inclined to "badger" the Higher +Spirit, as to irresistible tendencies, the Intelligence said they were +_not_ irresistible. When we arrived in the Spirit World we should find +everything that had occurred in our lives photographed. You will condemn +yourselves, it was added. You will not be "had up" before an angry God. +_You_ will decide, in reference to any wrong action, whether you could +help it. Even in the act of doing it a man condemns himself; much more +so there. The doctrine of the Atonement was summarily disposed of as a +"damnable heresy." "Does the Great Spirit want one man to die? It hurts +us even to think of it!" + +I then questioned the Medium with regard to the resurrection of the +body; and was told that man, as originally created, was a spiritual +being, but had "superinduced" his present body of flesh--how he managed +it I did not quite gather. As to possible sublimation of corporeal +integument, the case of ghosts was mentioned. It was to no purpose I +gently insinuated I had never seen a ghost, or had the existence of one +properly authenticated. I was told that if I fired a pistol through a +ghost only a small particle of dust would remain which could be swept +up. I was not aware that even so much would remain. Fancy "sweeping up" +a Higher Spirit! + +I could not help once or twice pausing to look round on this strange +preacher and congregation. The comfortable-looking lady propped in an +arm-chair, and with an urbane smile discoursing on these tremendous +topics, our little congregation of five, myself writing away for dear +life, the young hostess nursing a weird-looking black cat; the other +young lady continually harking back to "conjugal" subjects, which +seemed to interest her; the mamma slightly flabbergastered at the rather +revolutionary nature of the communications; and our host every now and +then throwing in a rude or caustic remark. I dreaded to think what might +have been the result of a domiciliary visit paid by a Commissioner in +Lunacy to that particular studio! + +Back, then, the musical young lady took us to conjugal pairs. It was +very difficult to convey to us what this conjugal love was like. Was it +Elective Affinity? I asked. Yes; something like that, but still not +that. It was the spontaneous gravitation in the spheres, either to +other, of the halves of the dual spirit dissociated on earth. Not at +all--again in reply to me--like flirting in a corner. The two, when +walking in the spheres, looked like one. This conjugal puzzle was too +much for us. We "gave it up;" and with an eloquent peroration on the +Dynamics of Prayer, the séance concluded. + +The Lord's Prayer was again said, with even more varieties than before; +a few extemporaneous supplications were added. The process of coming-to +seemed even more disagreeable, if one may judge by facial expression, +than going into the trance. Eventually, to get back quite to earth, our +Sibyl had to be demesmerized by our host, and in a few minutes was +partaking of a ham sandwich and a cup of coffee as though she had never +been in nubibus at all. + +What the psychological condition had been I leave for those more +learned than myself to determine. That some exaltation of the faculties +took place was clear. That the resulting intelligence was of deep +practical import few, I fancy, would aver. Happily my mission is not to +discuss, but to describe; and so I simply set down my experience in the +same terms in which it was conveyed to me as "An Evening with the Higher +Spirits." + + + + +CHAPTER XLIII. + +SPIRIT FORMS. + + +Some years ago I contributed to the columns of a daily paper an article +on Spirit Faces, which was to me the source of troubles manifold. In the +first place, the inquirers into Spiritualism, whose name I found to be +legion, inundated me with letters, asking me to take them to the house +of pretty Miss Blank, the medium. Miss Blank might have been going on +till now, holding nightly receptions, without having exhausted her list +of self-invited guests; I had but one answer; the lady was a comparative +stranger to me, and not a professional medium; ergo, the legion must ask +some one to chaperone them elsewhere. Spirit Faces had got comparatively +common and almost gone out since I wrote. We are a long way beyond faces +now. Then, again, my second source of trouble was that forthwith, from +the date of my writing, the Spiritualists claimed me for their own, as +Melancholy did the young gentleman in Gray's elegy. Though I fancied my +paper was only a calm judicial statement of things seen, and I carefully +avoided saying whether I was convinced or not, I found myself nolens +volens enrolled among the initiated, and expected to devote about five +evenings out of the seven to séances. I did go, and do go still to a +great many; so that I feel pretty well posted up in the "Latest +Intelligence" of the Spiritual world. But the worst of all is that my +own familiar friends, in whom I trusted, have also lifted up their heels +against me--I mean metaphorically, of course. "What's the last new thing +in spirits?" they ask me out loud in omnibuses or railway carriages, +causing my fellow-travellers to look at me in doubt as to whether I am a +licensed victualler or a necromancer. As "bigots feign belief till they +believe," I really begin to have some doubts myself as to the state of +my convictions. + +But I wish to make this paper again a simple statement of things heard +and seen--especially seen. I flatter myself the title is a nice, weird, +ghostly one, calculated to make people feel uncomfortable about the +small hours of the morning. Should such be the case--as they say in +prefaces--the utmost hopes of the writer will be realized. When last I +communicated my experiences, the ultimate end we had reached was the +appearance of a white counterpart of pretty Miss Blank's face at the +peep-hole of a corner cupboard. There were a good many more or +less--generally less--successful imitations of this performance in +various quarters, and the sensation subsided. Miss B. was still facile +princeps from the fact that she stood full light--I mean her spirit-face +did--whilst all the others leaned to a more or less dim religious kind +of gloom. In a short time, however, "Katie"--as the familiar of Miss B. +was termed--thought she would be able to "materialize" herself so far as +to present the whole form, if we re-arranged the corner cupboard so as +to admit of her doing so. Accordingly we opened the door, and from it +suspended a rug or two opening in the centre, after the fashion of a +Bedouin Arab's tent, formed a semicircle, sat and sang Longfellow's +"Footsteps of Angels." Therein occurs the passage: "Then the forms of +the departed enter at the open door." And, lo and behold, though we had +left Miss B. tied and sealed to her chair, and clad in an ordinary black +dress somewhat voluminous as to the skirts, a tall female figure draped +classically in white, with bare arms and feet, did enter at the open +door, or rather down the centre from between the two rugs, and stood +statue-like before us, spoke a few words, and retired; after which we +entered the Bedouin tent and found pretty Miss B. with her dress as +before, knots and seals secure, and her boots on! This was Form No. 1, +the first I had ever seen. It looked as material as myself; and on a +subsequent occasion--for I have seen it several times--we took four very +good photographic portraits of it by magnesium light. The difficulty I +still felt, with the form as with the faces, was that it seemed so +thoroughly material and flesh-and-blood like. Perhaps, I thought, the +authoress of "The Gates Ajar" is right, and the next condition of things +may be more material than we generally think, even to the extent of +admitting, as she says, pianofortes among its adjuncts. But I was to see +something much more ghostly than this. + +The great fact I notice about Spiritualism is, that it is obeying the +occult impetus of all great movements, and steadily going from east to +west. From Hackney and Highbury it gravitates towards Belgravia and +Tyburnia. I left the wilds of Hackney behind, and neared Hyde Park for +my next Form. I must again conceal names and localities; I have no +desire to advertise mediums, or right to betray persons who have shown +me hospitality--and Spirit Forms. We arranged ourselves in a semicircle +around the curtains which separated the small back drawing-room from the +large front one, joined hands, sang until we were hoarse as crows, and +kept our eyes steadily fixed on an aperture left between the curtains +for the faces to show themselves. The room was in blank darkness, and, +feeling rather tired of the incantation, I looked over my shoulder into +the gloom, and lo! a shadowy form stood self-illuminated not far from +me. At last I had seen it--a good orthodox ghost in white, and visible +in the darkness. It was the form of the redoubtable John King himself, +who was, I believe, a bold buccaneer in the flesh, but who looked more +like an Arab sheikh in the spirit. He sailed about the room, talked to +us, and finally disappeared. Eventually he reappeared behind the +curtains, and for a brief space the portière was drawn aside, and the +spirit form was seen lighting up the recumbent figure of the medium, +who was stretched on a sofa, apparently in deep trance. It must be borne +in mind that we were forming a cordon round the passage from one room to +the other during the whole of this time. A trio of "spirits" generally +puts in an appearance at these séances. In this case there were John +King, whom I had now seen, as well as heard; Katie, the familiar of Miss +B.; and a peculiarly lugubrious gentleman named Peter, who, I fancy, has +not been seen, but who has several times done me the favour of grasping +my hand and hoisting me towards the ceiling, as though he were going to +carry me off bodily to spirit-land. I stand some six feet in my boots, +and have stepped upon my chair, and still felt the hand coming downwards +to me--where from I have no idea. + +But my later experiences have still to be told. I was invited a few +weeks ago to a very select séance indeed, where the same medium was to +officiate. This family, who spared no expense in their investigations, +had actually got a large, handsome cabinet standing in their dining-room +as a recognised piece of furniture. It was only used, however, on this +occasion for the imprisonment of the medium. The evolutions of John +King, who soon appeared, all took place outside the cabinet door. He was +only "materialized" to the middle; and, to our utter amazement, came up +to the table, and apparently _through_ the table, into the very middle +of the circle, where he disported himself in various ways, keeping up +an animated conversation the whole time, and frequently throwing himself +into the attitude of a person swimming on his back. He also went upwards +as high as the gasalier, and altogether did a good many marvellous +things, considering that all this time he presented the appearance of +only half a man illuminated by his own light. + +On one occasion only have I been seated next to the medium during the +manifestation of any of these forms. At this séance I held him firmly by +one hand, and a slightly sceptical lady had the other. We never let go +for a moment, but during the whole of the sitting, while John King, +Katie, and Peter were talking, tiny children's hands were playing with +my arm, hands, and hair. There were, of course, no children in the room. +Peter, the lugubrious, is great at light porterage. I have known him +bring a large collection of valuable Sèvres china, and a timepiece with +its glass case, from the chimney-piece to the table--no easy task in the +light, much less in blank darkness. He also frequently takes down the +pictures from the wall and puts them on the table. Katie winds up a +large musical box, and wafts it, while playing, all over the room. Of +course we rub our eyes and ask what on earth, if it be on earth, does +this mean? I have not--to keep up the diction of my subject--the _ghost_ +of an idea. If it's conjuring, why don't the mediums say so, and enter +the field openly against Messrs. Maskelyne and Cooke and Dr. Lynn? Even +if I had a decided opinion about it I should refrain from propounding it +here, because, in the first place, it would be an impertinence, and, in +the second, no conclusion can be arrived at upon testimony alone. People +must see for themselves and draw their own inferences. In the meantime +the thing, whatever it is, grows and grows upwards. A year ago I had to +journey down east to find it. Now I must array myself gorgeously like a +Staffordshire miner, and seek the salons of the West. The great +desideratum, it still appears to me, is that some man with a name in +science should examine the matter, honestly resolving to endorse the +facts if true, but to expose them mercilessly if there be a loophole for +suspicion. Omne ignotum pro magnifico habetur. I used to think ghosts +big things, but that was before I knew them. I should think no more of +meeting a ghost now than a donkey on a dark night, and would infinitely +sooner tackle a spirit than a burglar. People's curiosity is roused, and +the sooner somebody gets at the truth the better. It is a somewhat +irksome task, it is true; but no general principle can be arrived at +except by an induction of particulars. Let us be Baconian, even to our +ghosts. If they _are_ ghosts, they are a good deal more substantial than +I had thought. If they are not, let somebody, in the name of +nineteenth-century science, send them off as with the crow of +chanticleer, and let us hear no more of Spirit Faces or Spirit Forms. + + + + +CHAPTER XLIV. + +SITTING WITH A SIBYL. + + +The connexion of modesty with merit is proverbial, though questioned by +Sydney Smith, who says their only point in common is the fact that each +begins with an--m. Modesty, however--waiving the question of +accompanying merit--is a trait which, in my mystic inquiries and devious +wanderings, I meet with far more frequently than might be expected. I +have just met with two instances which I hasten to put on record, if +only to confute those who say that the age in general, and spirit +mediums in particular, are not prone to be modest and retiring. My first +modest person was a Spirit Photographer; my second was a Sibyl. I might +have looked for bashfulness in the latter, but was certainly surprised +to meet with it in the former. I suddenly learnt from the Medium the +fact that a Spirit Photographer had settled down in my immediate +neighbourhood, and the appearance of his ghostly advertisement brings to +my recollection some previous mystic experiences I myself had in this +way. + +A now celebrated medium, Mrs. Guppy, née Miss Nicholl, was, in the days +of her maidenhood, a practitioner of photography in Westbourne Grove; +and, as far as I know, she might have been the means of opening up to +the denizens of the Summer Land this new method of terrestrial +operations. Ever on the qui vive for anything new in the occult line, I +at once interviewed Miss Nicholl and sat for my portrait, expecting at +the least to find the attendant spirit of my departed grandmamma or +defunct maiden aunt standing sentinel over me, as I saw departed +relations doing in many cartes de visite in the room. I confess there +was a kind of made-up theatrical-property look about the attendant +spirits which gave one the idea that the superior intelligences must +have dressed in a hurry when they sat or stood for their portraits. They +looked, in fact, if it be not irreverent to say it, rather like so many +bundles of pneumatical rags than respectable domestic ghosts. However, +as long as I got the ghosts I did not care about the dress. Tenue de +soir point de rigueur, I would have said, as they do outside the cheap +casinos in Paris, or "Evening dress not required," if one must descend +to the vernacular. Well, I sat persistently and patiently through I am +afraid to say how many operations, and the operator described me as +being surrounded by spirits--I always am according to Mediums, but my +spirits must be eminently unsociable ones, for they seldom give me a +word, and on this occasion refused to be "taken" as resolutely as the +bashful gentleman in the _Graphic_ who resisted the operations of the +prison officials to obtain a sun-picture of his interesting +physiognomy. There was indeed a blotch on one of the negatives, which I +was assured was a spirit. I could not see things in that light. + +Foiled on this particular occasion my anxiety was dormant, but never +died out. I still longed for a denizen of the other world to put in an +appearance, and kept on being photographed over and over again until I +might have been the vainest man alive, on the bare hope that the artist +might be a Medium malgré lui or undeveloped. I had heard there were such +beings, but they never came in my way. I was really serious in this +wish, because I felt if it could be granted, the possibility of +deception being prevented, the objectivity of the phenomena would be +guaranteed. At this time I was heretical enough to believe that most +ghosts were due to underdone pork or untimely Welsh rare-bits, and that +the raps assigned to their agency were assignable to the active toes of +the Medium which might be anywhere and up to anything with the +opportunities of a dark séance. + +A short time since, however, M. Buguet, a celebrated French Spirit +Photographer came from Paris to London, and received sitters for the +modest sum of _30s._ each. This would have been much beyond my means; +but I suppose my wish had transpired, and that gentleman sent me an +invitation to sit gratis, which, I need not say, I thankfully accepted. +I felt sure that M. Buguet did not know either my long-lost grandmother +or lamented maiden aunt, so that any portraits I might get from him +would be presumably genuine. I sat; and over my manly form, when the +negative came to be cleaned, was a female figure in the act of +benediction. I have no notion how she got there--for I watched every +stage in the operation, and selected my plate myself; but neither, on +the other hand, does she bear the faintest resemblance to anybody I ever +knew. + +Still M. Buguet is not my modest photographer. Elated by success so far, +I called on the local gentleman who advertised in the _Medium_; but the +local gentleman was "engaged." I wrote to the local gentleman appointing +an interview; but the local gentleman replied not. Yet still his +advertisement remains; and I see in every spiritualistic album dozens of +"property" relations in the shape of quasi-spirits, and wonder why the +local gentleman would not take me, so as to be immortalized in these +pages. + +Equally modest was the advertising Sibyl. I wrote to the Sibyl, and +somebody replied, and "respectfully declined." But I was not to be done. +There is more than one Sibyl in the world. I called on No. 2 without +announcing my intention or sending in my name. This Sibyl at once +admitted me, and I mounted to the first floor front of a respectable +suburban lodging-house. + +I waited anxiously for a long time, wondering whether Sibyl was +partaking of the onions, whose presence in that modest domicile was +odoriferously evidenced to my nose, though it was then scarcely +half-past one o'clock. Presently a portly middle-aged man, who might +have been Sibyl's youthful papa, or rather aged husband, entered, wiping +his mouth. He had clearly been partaking of the fragrant condiment. + +Where was Sibyl? + +"She would be with us directly," the gentleman said, varying the +proceedings by picking his teeth in the interim. + +She _was_ with us in a minute, and never, I suppose, did picturesque +anticipations more suddenly collapse and come to grief than mine. I had +pictured Sibyl a bright ethereal being, and the realization of my ideal +weighed twelve stone, if an ounce. She was a big, fleshy, large-boned +woman of an utterly uncertain age, not without considerable good-nature +in her extensive features; but the pervading idea that you had when you +looked at Sibyl was that there was _too much of her_. I could not help +thinking of the husband who said he did not like a big wife: he +preferred two small ones; and then again I fell into wonderment as to +whether the man who was still engaged with his dental apparatus was +Sibyl's husband or papa. + +I told them I was anxious to test Sibyl's powers; and, with a few passes +from his fat dumpy hands, the man soon put her to sleep. It looked to me +like an after-dinner nap, but I was told it was magnetic. It might have +been. By the way, I had unmistakable evidence from my olfactory organ +that Sibyl _had_ been eating onions. + +I had provided myself with two locks of hair, as I had heard that +"psychometry" was among Sibyl's qualifications. I handed her the first, +and she immediately proceeded to describe a series of tableaux which +appeared to pass through her mind. She kept handling the lock of hair, +and said, "The person to whom this belongs is ill--weak," which was true +enough, but might, I thought, be a shot. I should mention, however, that +it was quite impossible Sibyl could know me. She had not even heard my +name. She then described a bedroom, with some person--she could not see +what person--lying in bed, and a lady in a blue dress bending over her. +This, again, I thought might flow out as a deduction from her premises +of the hair belonging to an invalid. The blue dress was correct enough, +but still so little special as to be a very possible coincidence. She +then, however, startled me by saying, "I notice this, that on the table +by the bedside, where the bottles of medicine are standing, milk has +been spilt--a large quantity--and not wiped up." This was a trivial +detail, not known to me at the time, but confirmed on subsequent +inquiry. + +She then passed on to describe a second tableau, where the same person +in the blue dress was in a room _all hung over with plates_, along with +a gentleman whom she described very accurately. He was the occupant of +the house where the patient lay, and, having a hobby for old china, had +turned his dining-room into a sort of crockery shop by hanging it all +over with the delf. + +This was curious enough, though not very convincing. It seemed as though +the influence of this person who had given me the hair was stronger than +that of the hair itself. With the second lock of hair we failed utterly. +She said that also came from a sick person, but a person not sick with +the same disease as the other. She was quite positive they came from +different people, and asked me to feel the difference of texture. I am +sorry, for Sibyl's sake, to say they both came from the same person, and +were cut at the same time, though from different parts of the head, +which made one look silkier than the other. + +As a test of Sibyl's clairvoyance, this was not very satisfactory. She +read the inscription on a card when her eyes were bandaged, pressing it +to her forehead; but then olden experiences in the way of blindman's +buff convince me that it is very difficult to say when a person is +properly blinded. + +Altogether, then, I never quite got over my previous disappointment at +Sibyl's bulk. Had she been pretty and frizzle-headed like Miss Annie Eva +Fay, or like Miss Showers or Miss Florence Cook, I might have been +disposed to make more of her coincidences and to wink at her failures. +We _are_ so liable to be led away by our feelings in these matters. +Sibyl was large, had eaten onions, and would have been improved if she +had brushed her hair, and so I am afraid I rather grudged the somewhat +exorbitant fee which the fat-handed man--not Sibyl--took and pocketed in +an interval of his dental pursuit, and I passed out from that suburban +lodging, none of us, I fancy, very well satisfied with one another. I +have an idea I unconsciously expressed my inner feelings of +disappointment with Sibyl and something stronger in reference to her +male companion. + + + + +CHAPTER XLV. + +SPIRITUALISTS AND CONJURERS. + + +"How it's done" is the question which, in the words of Dr. Lynn, we want +to settle with reference to his own or kindred performances, and, still +more, in the production of the phenomena known as spiritual. I have +spent some years of my existence in a hitherto vain endeavour to solve +the latter problem; and the farther I go, the more the mystery seems to +deepen. Of late, the two opposed parties, the Spiritualists and the +Conjurers, have definitely entered the arena, and declared war to the +knife. Each claims to be Moses, and denounces the others as mere +magicians. Mr. Maskelyne holds a dark séance, professing to expose the +spiritualistic ones; Dr. Lynn brandishes against them his strong right +arm upon which is written in letters all of blood the name of one's +deceased grandmother, while, in return, Dr. Sexton exposes the +conjurers, and spoils one's enjoyment of a hitherto enjoyable evening, +by showing "how it's done"--how the name of one's departed relative is +forged and painted early in the afternoon, instead of "coming out" on +the spot--and in spots--like measles or nettle-rash (as we feel defunct +relations ought to come) or walking in and out of the corded box at +pleasure, and even going so far as to give the address of the clever +mechanist down a by-street near Notting-hill Gate, who will make the +mysterious packing case to order in return for a somewhat heavy +"consideration." + +I accepted Dr. Lynn's invitation to be present on his "opening night;" +and wondered, in passing, why everybody should not make their cards of +invitation such thorough works of art as his. Now I am going to do +even-handed justice all the way round; and I must say that Dr. Lynn's +experiment of fastening his attendant to a sort of penitential stool +with copper wire, surrounded by scrutineers from the audience, and then +making the man's coat come off, and a ring pass over his arm, behind a +simple rug held in front of him, is quite as wonderful as anything I +have ever witnessed at a séance. It has the great advantage of being +done in the light, instead of, as in Mr. Fay's case, in darkness, and +without a cabinet. In fact, I have no idea how it's done; though I have +no doubt the first time I see Dr. Sexton he will point to something +unsatisfactory in the bolts to which that doorkeeper is fastened, and +give me the addresses of the ironmonger who will sell me some like them, +or the tailor who will manufacture me a swallow tail coat with an +imperceptible slit down the back. Then again, I have, as I said, seen +young Mr. Sexton go in and out of the corded box, and I know how that's +done; but Dr. Lynn's man goes into three, one inside the other. Well, I +can understand that if Dr. Sexton's theory be correct, it may perhaps be +as easy to get into a "nest" of three as into one box; but how, in the +name of nature--or art--does the nautical gentleman get out of the +double sack in which he is tied? I cannot bring myself to print what Dr. +Sexton's theory of the box is, because it appears to be such a wanton +cruelty to "expose" things when people go to the Egyptian Hall on +purpose to be mystified. I remember how the fact of having seen Dr. +Sexton do the trick of reading the names in the hat spoilt my enjoyment +of Dr. Lynn's experiment. He really appeared quite bungling when I knew +all he was about. He did not, on this occasion, produce the letters on +his arm; but I saw he could quite easily have done so, though the doing +it would have been no sort of reproduction of Mr. Forster's +manifestation, who showed you the name of some relative when you had +looked in on him quite unexpectedly. I can quite understand how it is +that the spiritualists, who hold these matters to be sacred as +revelation itself--in fact, to be revelation itself, are shocked at +seeing their convictions denounced as trickery and "exposed" on a public +platform; but I confess I do not quite see how they can adopt the tu +quoque principle, and "expose" Dr. Lynn and Messrs. Maskelyne and Cooke +as tricksters, because they do not pretend to be anything else. It +would have been fatal if the magicians had "found out" Moses, and they +wisely refrained from trying; but it would have served no purpose for +Moses to "find out" the magicians: and it strikes me Moses would have +deemed it very infra dig. to make the attempt. The two things stand on +quite different grounds; and I cannot help thinking that the +spiritualists unwisely concede a point when they accept the challenge of +the conjurers. I am quite aware that the theory of the spiritualists +makes of many a conjurer a medium malgré lui, and says he ought to come +out in his true colours. It was so Messrs. Maskelyne and Cooke were +originally introduced to a London public at the Crystal Palace under the +auspices of an eminent spiritualist; but it really appears to me that +such an assertion amounts to begging the question; for I doubt whether +it would not "pay" quite as well to come out boldly in Mr. Williams's or +Mr. Morse's line as in that of Dr. Lynn or Mr. Maskelyne. + +In a lengthened confab which I once had with Mr. Maskelyne himself after +one of his performances, he told me that by constant attendance at the +séances of the Davenports he found out how that was all done; and, being +a working watchmaker, was able soon to get the necessary apparatus +constructed. I must again be just, and state that while the cabinet +séance of Messrs. Maskelyne and Cooke seems to me the exact counterpart +of the Davenports', their dark séance fails to reproduce that of the +spiritualists as the performances of Professor Pepper himself. True, +this latter gentleman does all his exposés on a platform which is sacred +against all intrusion, and Messrs. Maskelyne and Cooke assume to allow +as much examination as the spiritualists. But I myself, who have seen +Mr. Home float around Mr. S. C. Hall's drawing-room, and handled him +above and below in transitu, quite fail to discern any reproduction of +that phenomenon in the heavy, lumbering levitation of the lady by means +of the scissors-like apparatus behind her, which we are only privileged +to behold from the stalls. The dancing walking-stick is as palpably made +terpsichorean by a string as the chairs I have seen cross Mr. Hall's +drawing-room in full light were not drawn by strings, for I was able to +look closely at them; and I do not know how that was done. + +Fresh from Dr. Lynn's really marvellous performances of recent times, +and with Messrs. Maskelyne and Cooke's equally clever tricks in my +mind's eye, though not quite so recently, I still am bold to say I +believe there are still six of one to half-a-dozen of the other. If the +conjurers reproduce the spiritual phenomena in some instances, the +spiritualists distance the conjurers in others. I speak of phenomena +only. The magicians produced many of the same phenomena as Moses; but, +even so, if we are orthodox we must believe the source of such +manifestations to have been utterly different. + +But I am, as I said, wise in my generation, and stick to phenomena. I +venture to think the conjurers unwise in irritating the spiritualists, +who are a growing body, by placarding their entertainment as exposés, +even though such announcements may "draw" the non-spiritual public. I +suppose, however, they understand the science of advertising better than +I do; but I feel sure the spiritualists are unwise to follow their +example, because they have got nothing to expose. Dr. Lynn or Messrs. +Maskelyne and Cooke are as much pleased as conscientious mediums would +be shocked at being proved clever tricksters. The only folks who are +injured by being told "how it's done," are the British Public, who pay +their five shillings to be mystified at the Egyptian Hall, just as the +spiritualists do in Lamb's Conduit Street. + +If it is to come to a race for the championship--and seriously it would +seem that, having begun, the two parties are bound to continue the +strife--one can scarcely imagine anything more attractive than such a +combined display of talent. Dr. Lynn gets lots of people to come and see +"How it's done"--the gentleman with the mandolin is well worth a visit, +and I cannot guess how he does it--while Messrs. Maskelyne and Cooke +must really be making a good thing of it. Mr. Williams's séances are +decidedly attractive (and how he does it has puzzled me for years, as I +said), nor does the Progressive Institute seem to decrease in interest; +but let us only picture the fascination of a long evening where Pepper's +Ghost should be pitted against John King, Mrs. Guppy and Messrs. +Maskelyne and Cooke's lady float in competition round the room or even +in from the suburbs, while the Davenports and Dr. Lynn's man should +wriggle out of or into iron rings and their own dress coats! Until some +such contest takes place, the public mind will probably gravitate +towards the conjurers rather than the spiritualists, and that through +the actually suicidal policy of the latter; because while the +spiritualists of necessity can show no visible source of their +manifestations, one of their own rank devotes himself to aiding the +conjurers by showing in reference to their tricks, "How it's done." It +would have been wiser, surely, to stand upon dignity, and in a truly +conservative spirit (is it too late even now to reassume it?), say, +"These men are mediums, but it does not suit their pockets to confess +it." + +Well, they are signs of the times. London loves to be mystified, and +would only have one instead of manifold methods to be so if the +spiritualists and conjurers were to strike hands, and reduce us all to +the dead level of pure faith or relentless reason and cold common +sense! + + + + +CHAPTER XLVI. + +PROS AND CONS OF SPIRITUALISM. + + +It has been repeatedly urged upon me on previous occasions, and also +during the progress of these sheets through the press, that I should +make a clean breast of my own belief or disbelief in spiritualism; that +besides being descriptive, I should go one step beyond a mere catalogue +of phenomena, and, to some extent at least, theorize on this mysterious +and generally proscribed subject. + +Let me say at the outset that against the proscription of this, or +indeed any topic which does not offend against morals, I would at the +very outset protest as the height of unwisdom. Thus to taboo a subject +is at once to lend it a factitious interest, and more than half to +endorse its truth: and I believe modern spiritualism has been very +generally treated in this way. Whether truth has gained by such +indiscriminate condemnation and prejudgment is, I think, greatly open to +question. + +For myself, I have, from the first, steadily refused to look upon +spiritualism in this bugbear fashion. The thing was either true or +false--or, more probably still, partly true and partly false: and I must +bring to bear on the discovery of its truth or falsehood, just the same +critical faculties that I should employ on any other problem of common +life. That, I fancy, is no transcendental view of the matter; but just +the plain common sense way of going to work. It was, at all events, +right or wrong, the method I adopted to get at such results as I proceed +to make public. I declined to be scared from the study either by Bogey +or my esteemed friend Mrs. Grundy, but went at it just in the calm +Baconian inductive method in which I should have commenced any other +study or pursuit. + +What I want to do is to tabulate these results in the same order as that +in which they occurred to me; and here I am met by a preliminary +difficulty, not incidental to this subject only, but common to any +narrative where we have to take a retrospective glance over a number of +years. We are apt to view the subject from our present standpoint; and I +shall try to avoid this by quoting, whenever I can, what I published, or +committed to writing in the course of my investigations. I shall not +cull from others, because I want to make this purely a personal +narrative. + +Let me add, too, I do not in the least expect persons to believe what I +say. Some, I think, will regard me as a harmless (_if_ a harmless) +lunatic, on account of certain statements I may have to make. Others +will consider the whole thing as decidedly unorthodox and "wrong." For +each of these issues I am prepared. I would not have believed any one +else if they had, prior to my experience, told me what I am going to +tell them here; and therefore I do not expect them to believe me. All I +hope to do is to interest persons sufficiently in the subject to induce +them to look into the matter on their own account; for verily I believe, +as a distinguished spiritualist once said to me, that this thing is +either an important truth or else one of the biggest swindles ever +palmed off upon humanity. + +One word more, and I proceed to my narrative. Of the three aspects under +which it is possible to view spiritualism, the scientific, the +theological, and the social, I shall not touch at all on the first since +I am not a scientific man; shall only glance at the second, because this +is not the place for a theological discussion. I shall confine myself to +the third, therefore, which I call the social aspect; looking at the +subject as a question of the day, the truth about which we are as much +interested in solving as any other political or social question, but the +investigation of which need not make us get excited and angry and call +one another bad names. I venture to hope that by these means I may +manage to compile a not unedifying or uninteresting narrative, though +our subject be withal somewhat a ponderous one. + +In order then to cover the preliminary part of my narrative, and to let +my readers somewhat into the state of my own mind, when I had looked at +the subject for several years, I will quote some extracts from a paper +I read before a society of spiritualists at the Beethoven Rooms a few +years ago under the title "Am I a Spiritualist?" I may mention that the +assembly was divided, and never decided whether I was or not, and what +is more, I do not think they are quite decided to the present day. I am +a patient investigator still; but I really do not feel it necessary to +issue perpetual bulletins as to the state of my convictions. + +Taking as my thesis, then, the question, Am I a Spiritualist? it will +certainly appear, at first sight, I said, that the person best qualified +to answer this question is precisely the person who puts it; but a +little consideration will, I think, show that the term "Spiritualist" is +one of such wide and somewhat elastic meaning--in fact, that the word +varies so widely according to the persons who use it--that the question +may really be asked of one's self without involving an inconsistency. + +When persons ask me, as they often do, with a look of unmitigated +horror, "Is it possible that you, a clergyman, are a spiritualist?" I am +often inclined to answer, "Yes, madam,"--(for it is generally a lady who +puts the question in that particular shape)--"I _am_ a spiritualist, and +precisely because I am a clergyman. I have had to express more than once +my unfeigned assent and consent to the Common Prayer Book, and the +Thirty Nine Articles; and that involves belief in the inspiration of all +the Bible (except the Apocrypha), and the whole of that (_not_ excepting +the Apocrypha) is spiritual, or spiritualistic (if you prefer the term) +from beginning to end; and therefore it is not _in spite of_ my being a +clergyman, but _because_ I am a clergyman that I am such a confirmed +spiritualist." + +I could answer thus, only I do not, simply because to do so would be +dishonest. I know my questioner is using the word in an utterly +different sense from what I have thought proper to suppose. Besides such +an answer would only lead to argumentation, and the very form of the +question shows me the person who puts it has made up her mind on this, +as probably on most other subjects; and when a feminine mind is once +made up (others than ladies have feminine minds on these subjects) it is +very little use trying to alter it. I never do. I administer some +orthodox verbal sedative, and change the subject. But even accepting the +term in the way I know it is meant to be used--say, for instance, as it +comes from the mouth of some conservative old gentleman, or supposed +scientific authority--one's medical man to wit--"Do you believe in +spiritualism?" meaning "Are you such an ass as to believe in +table-turning, and rapping, and all that kind of nonsense?"--even so, +the question would admit of being answered by another question; though I +rarely enter so far on the matter with those whose minds are evidently +quite comfortably made up on the matter. It is such a pity to interfere +with cherished opinions. I have found out that there are Athanasian +creeds in science as well as in theology; and really, whilst they form +recognised formulæ in the one or the other, it is positively lost labour +to go running one's head against them. The question I want to ask--not +the gentle apothecaries, but my readers--is, What do you mean by +believing in spiritualism? Many of the phenomena of spiritualism I +cannot but believe, if I am to take my five senses as my guides in this +as in other matters, and quite setting aside any credence I may give to +respectable testimony. When, however, I pass from facts to theories, and +am asked to account for those facts, then I hesitate. There are some +here, I know, who will say that the spiritualist like the lady who +hesitates is lost--who think me as heterodox for doing so, as the +inflexible old ladies and the omniscient apothecaries did on account of +my even deigning to look into the evidence of such phenomena. I feel +really that I have set myself up like an animated ninepin to be knocked +down by the first thorough-going spiritualist who cares to bowl at me. +But whatever else they think of me--sceptical though they deem me on +subjects where perhaps you are, many of you, a little prone to +dogmatize--I claim the character at least of an honest sceptic. I do not +altogether disavow the title, but I understand it to mean "inquirer." I +confess myself, after long years of perfectly unbiassed inquiry, still +an investigator--a sceptic. It is the fashion to abuse St. Thomas +because he sought sensible proofs on a subject which it was certainly +most important to have satisfactorily cleared up. I never could read the +words addressed to him at all in the light of a rebuke--"Because thou +hast seen thou hast believed." The Church of England treats the doubt of +St. Thomas as permitted by God "for the more confirmation of the faith;" +and I feel sure that professed spiritualists will not be so inconsistent +as to censure any man for examining long and carefully matters which +they believe to admit of demonstration. I heard the most eloquent of +their advocates say, when comparing spiritual with credal conviction, +"Our motto no longer is 'I believe,' but 'I know.'" Belief may be +instantaneous, but knowledge will be gradual; and so it is that, +standing at a certain fixed point in very many years' study of +spiritualism, I pause, and--so to say, empanelling a jury--ask the +question it seems I ought to answer at others' asking--Am I a +Spiritualist? + +One word of apology further before entering on the details of the +matter. It will be inevitable that the first personal pronoun shall +recur frequently in the course of this paper, and that so the paper +shall seem egotistical. The very question itself sounds so. I am not +vain enough to suppose that it matters much to anybody here whether I am +a spiritualist or not, except in so far as I may be in any sense a +representative man. I believe I am. That is, I believe, nay, am sure, +that a great many persons go as far as I do, and stop where I stop. +There is a largish body of investigators, I believe, dangling there, +like Mahomet's coffin, between heaven and earth, and it would be a +charity to land them somewhere. Of the clerical mind, I do _not_ claim +to be a representative, because the clerical mind, quâ clerical, has +made up itself that the phenomena in question are diabolical. Of course +if I accepted this theory my question would be utterly irrelevant, and I +should claim a place among the spiritualists at once. The diabolical +people not only accept the phenomena, but admit their spiritual origin, +and, more than this, identify the spirits. They are in point of fact the +most thorough-going spiritualists of all. + +In sketching their creed, I have mentioned the three stages through +which most minds must go in this matter. Some few, indeed, take them by +intuition, but most minds have to plod patiently along the path of +inquiry, as I have done. The first stage is acceptance of the phenomena, +the second the assignment of those phenomena to spirits as their source, +the third is identification of these spirits. + +1. On the first part of my subject I shall venture to speak with some +boldness. I am not a philosopher, therefore I can afford to do so. I +shall suppose my five senses to serve my purposes of observation, as +they would be supposed to serve me if I were giving evidence in a court +of justice. If I saw a table move, I shall say _it did_ move, not "it +appeared to move." I do this in my capacity of a commonplace instead of +a philosophical investigator; and I must say, if I were, as I supposed +myself just now, in the witness-box, with a good browbeating counsel +cross-examining me on this point, I would rather have to defend the +position of the commonplace inquirer than the philosopher, pledged to +defend the philosophy of the last fifty years, and bound hand and foot +by his philosophic Athanasian Creed, and I don't know how many articles, +more than thirty-nine, I fancy. + +In the latter part of the year 1856, or beginning of 1857, then, I was +residing in Paris, that lively capital being full of Mr. Home's doings +at the Tuileries. At that time I knew nothing, even of table-turning. I +listened to the stories of Mr. Home and the Emperor as mere canards. I +never stopped to question whether the matter were true, because I in my +omniscience knew it to be impossible. It is this phase of my experience +that makes me so unwilling to argue with the omniscient people now; it +is such a waste of time. At this period my brother came to visit me, and +he had either been present himself or knew persons who had been present +at certain séances at Mr. Rymer's. He seemed staggered, if not +convinced, by what he had heard or seen, and this staggered me too, for +he was not exactly a gullible person and certainly by no means +"spiritual." I was staggered, I own, but then I was omniscient, and so I +did what is always safest, laughed at the matter. He suggested that we +should try experiments instead of laughing, and, not being a +philosopher, I consented. We sat at the little round table in our tiny +salon, which soon began to turn, then answered questions, and finally +told us that one of the three, viz., my wife, was a medium, and +consequently we could receive communications. I went to a side table and +wrote a question as to the source of the manifestations, keeping it +concealed from those at the table, and not rejoining them myself. The +answer spelt out by them was--"We, the spirits of the departed, are +permitted thus to appear to men." Again I wrote--"What object is served +by your doing so?" The answer was--"It may make men believe in God." I +have said I am not a philosopher, therefore I do not mind confessing +that I collapsed. I struck my flag at once as to the _impossibility_ of +the matter. At the same time I did not--as I know many ardent +spiritualists will think I ought--at once swallow the whole thing, +theory and all. I should not have believed if a man had told me this; +was it to be expected that I should believe a table? Honesty is my best +policy; and I had better, therefore, say I was never so utterly knocked +over by anything that occurred to me in my life before or since. My +visage of utter, blank astonishment is a joke against me to this hour. +We pursued the inquiry almost nightly during the remainder of my stay in +Paris--up to late in the summer of 1857 that is--and also on our return +to England; but, strangely as it seems to me now, considering how we +began, we did it more as a pastime than anything else. The only time we +were serious was when my wife and I sat alone, as we often did. Of +course when I came to inquire at all into the matter I was met by +Faraday's theory of involuntary muscular action, and also with the +doctrine of unconscious cerebration--I was quite ready to accept either. +My own position, as far as I can recall it, then was that the spiritual +agency was "not proven." My wife had great reluctance against admitting +the spiritual theory. I was simply passive; but two circumstances seemed +to me to militate against the theories I have mentioned: (1.) The table +we used for communicating was a little gimcrack French affair, the top +of which spun round on the slightest provocation, and no force whatever, +not even a philosopher's, applied to the surface would do more than spin +the top round; but when the table turned, _it turned bodily, legs and +all_. (2.) As to that ponderously difficult theory of unconscious +cerebration communicated by involuntary muscular action, whenever we +asked any questions as to the future, we were instantly checked, and +told it was better that the future should not be revealed to us. I was +anxious about a matter in connexion with an election to an appointment +in England, and we asked some questions as to what form the proceedings +would take. The reply was that certain candidates would be selected from +the main body, and the election made from these. I thought I had caught +the table in an inconsistency, and said--"There now you _have_ told us +something about the future." It immediately replied--"No, I have not; +the matter is already settled in the minds of the examiners." Whence +came that answer? Certainly not from our minds, for it took us both by +surprise. I could multiply a hundredfold instances of this kind, but, of +course, to educated spiritualists these are mere A B C matters; whilst +non-spiritualists would only accept them on the evidence of their own +senses. I do not mean to say they actually question the facts to the +extent of doubting one's veracity, or else nearly all testimony must go +for nothing; but there is in these matters always room for doubting +whether the narrator has not been deceived; and, moreover, even if +accepted at secondhand, I doubt whether facts so accepted ever become, +as it were, assimilated, so as to have any practical effect. + +My facts at all events came at first-hand. I suppose a man need not be +considered credulous for believing in his own wife, and nearly all these +phenomena were produced by my wife's mediumship. It was not until late +in the year 1865 or early in 1866, that I ever sat with a professional +medium. My wife, moreover, from first to last, has steadily disbelieved +the spirit theory, so that she has not laid herself open to suspicion of +being prejudiced in favour of the subject. She has been emphatically an +involuntary, nay, even unwilling agent in these matters. + +During these eight or nine years the communications were generally given +by automatic writing, though sometimes still by tilting of the table. I +am very much tempted to quote two, which linger in my recollection, +principally, I believe, because they were so destructive of the +cerebration theory, besides being curious in themselves. I kept no +records until a later date. At present all rests on tradition. Each of +these cases occurred in presence of myself, my wife, and a pupil. In the +former, he was a young Englishman, who had lived a great deal abroad, +whose mother was a Catholic and father a Protestant. He had been brought +up in the latter faith; and when I desired him to ask a mental question, +he asked, in French--that being the language most familiar to him--"Is +the Catholic or the Protestant religion the true one?" Mark you, he +never articulated this, or gave the least hint that he was asking in +French. He did it in fact, spontaneously. My wife immediately wrote "Ta +mère est Catholique"--so far, in French, with difficulty, and then +breaking off into English, "Respect her faith." + +In the second instance, my pupil was a French youth, a Catholic, who was +living in my house, but used to go to his priest frequently to be +prepared for his first communion. One day when we were writing, this +youth asked who the communicating spirit was, and received in reply the +name of Louis D----. The name was totally unknown to us; but to our +surprise when the youth came back from his visit to the priest that day +he informed us that his reverend instructor had dwelt strongly on the +virtues of Louis D----. Seeing the boy look amazed as the name which had +just been given at our séance was pronounced, the priest inquired the +reason; and, on being informed, of course directed his catechumen never +to join in such diablerie again. + +The impression, then, left on my mind by these years of desultory +dabbling with--rather than study of--the subject, was decidedly that the +phenomena of spiritualism were genuine. Looking at the matter from my +present standpoint and frame of mind, it seems to me incredible that I +should have thought so little of the source of the phenomena. It was, as +I said, that I was then dabbling with, not studying, the subject. + +But even without advancing beyond this rudimentary stage, I saw a very +serious result produced. I saw men who literally believed in nothing, +and who entered on this pursuit in a spirit of levity, suddenly +staggered with what appeared to afford even possibility of demonstration +of another world, and the continued existence of the spirit after bodily +death. I believe a great many persons who have never felt doubt +themselves are unaware of the extent to which doubt prevails amongst +young men especially; and I have seen many instances of this doubt +being--if not removed--shaken to its very foundation by their witnessing +the phenomena of spiritualism. "Yes, but did it make good consistent +Christians of them?" asks one of my excellent simple-minded objectors. +Alas! my experience does not tell me that good consistent Christians are +so readily made. Does our faith--I might have asked--make _us_ the good +consistent Christians it ought to do, and would do perhaps, if we gave +it fair play? + +So, then, my study of spiritualism had been purely phenomenal. It was a +very sad and serious event which drove me to look deeper. Some people +will, I daresay, think it strange that I allude to this cause here. The +fact that I do so shows, at all events, that I have looked seriously at +spiritualism since. It was none other than the loss, under painful +circumstances, of one of my children. Now I had always determined that, +in the event of my losing one near and dear to me, I would put +spiritualism to the test, by trying to communicate with that one. This +will, I think, show that, even then, if I did not accept the +spiritualistic theory, I did not by any means consider the position +untenable. The very day after my boy's death, I got his mother to sit, +and found she was writing a little loving message purporting to come +from him. This, a sceptic would say, was natural enough under the +circumstances. I said no word, but sat apart, and kept writing "Who is +it that communicates? write your name." Suddenly the sentence was +broken off, and the child's name written, though I had not expressed my +wish aloud. This was strange; but what followed was stranger still. Of +course, so far all might have been fairly attributed to cerebration--if +such a process exists. It was natural enough, it might be urged, that +the mother, previously schooled in the belief of the probability of +communication, should write in her lost child's name. For years the same +thing never occurred again, though we sat night after night for the +purpose of renewing such communications. I can certainly say of myself +that, at this time, I _was_ a spiritualist--as thorough and devout a one +as any existing; and the fact that I was so, when carried away by my +feelings, makes me the more cautious to test and try myself as to +whether my feelings may not sometimes sway my judgment even now; whether +the wish be not often father of the thought, at all events in the +identification of spiritual communications, and so, possibly, of the +spiritual nature of such communications altogether. + +However, from this time--the autumn of 1865--my spiritual studies +underwent an entire change--they _were_ studies--serious studies. I now +kept a careful journal of all communications, which journal I continued +for three years, so that I can trace all my fluctuations of opinion--for +I did fluctuate--during that period. Now, too, it was necessary for me +to consult those who had already gone deeply into the subject; and the +record of my experiences would be both imperfect and ungracious if I did +not here acknowledge the prompt kindness of the two gentlemen to whom I +applied--Mr. Benjamin Coleman and Mr. Samuel Carter Hall. I was +comparatively a stranger to each of them, but they replied to my +inquiries with the most ready courtesy, and I am happy to date my +present friendship with each of them from this time. At Mr. Hall's I met +Mr. Home, and on the second occasion of my doing so, not only saw him +float, but handled him above and below during the whole of the time he +floated round Mr. Hall's drawing-room. I am unphilosophical enough to +say that I entirely credit the evidence of my senses on that occasion, +and am as certain that Mr. Home was in space for five minutes as I am of +my own existence. The ordinary solution of cranes and other cumbrous +machinery in Mr. Hall's drawing-room I cannot credit, for I think we +should have seen them, and I am sure I should have felt ropes round Mr. +Home's body. Chairs went from one end of the room to the other _in full +light_; and nobody had previously tumbled over strings and wires, so +that I don't think there could have been any there. + +I fancy, as far as any order is traceable in the somewhat erratic course +of spiritualistic experiences, that most people arrive at spiritualism +viâ mesmerism. It so happened that this order was exactly inverted in +my case. It was not until 1866 that I found I possessed the power of +magnetism, and moreover, had in my house a subject whom Alphonse Didier +(with whom I afterwards put myself in communication) declared to be "one +in a thousand." Some of the details of this lady's case are very +curious, but this is scarcely the place to dilate upon them further than +as they affected my spiritualistic studies. She passed with +extraordinary ease into the condition of lucidity, when she was +conscious only of basking in light, anxious to be magnetized more deeply +so as to get more thoroughly into the light, and, moreover, aware only +of the existence of those who had passed away from earth. She knew they +were with her: said I _must_ know it, as I was there too, and that it +was I only who would not "let her" see them. The fact that "our life is +twofold" was to me most marvellously brought out by my magnetic +treatment of this lady; and, moreover, the power of influencing action +could not fail to be suggestive of the truth of one of the cardinal +doctrines of spiritualism--that we are thus influenced by disembodied +spirits, as I, an embodied spirit, could influence another spirit in the +body. Some of the likes and dislikes which I, so to say, produced then +in 1866 have remained to the present hour. For instance, one particular +article of food (I will not mention what, or it would be fatal to my +reader's gravity), for which she previously had a penchant, I rendered +so distasteful to her that the very smell of it now makes her +uncomfortable. I must plead guilty to having experimented somewhat in +this way; but what a wonderful light it sheds upon the great problem of +the motives of human action! By the simple exercise of my will I could +make my patient perform actions the most abhorrent to her. For +instance--the ladies will appreciate this power--at a time when +crinolines were extensive, I made that poor creature draggle about in a +costume conspicuous by the absence of crinoline, and making her look +like some of the ladies out of a Noah's ark. + +During this period my wife and I constantly sat alone, and she wrote. It +is no disrespect to her to say that writing is not her forte, but the +communications she made in this way were exceedingly voluminous, and +couched in a particularly happy style, though on subjects far above the +range of ordinary compositions. We never obtained a single communication +purporting to come from our child, but the position claimed by the +communicating intelligence was that of his spirit-guardian. + +Having now probably said enough in these confessions to convince every +non-spiritualist that I am insane, because I believed the evidence of my +senses, and even ventured to look into matters so unorthodox and +unscientific as mesmerism and spiritualism, I go on to "make a clean +breast," and set myself wrong with the other moiety of my readers. I +must candidly confess that the experiences of this year (1866) did not +confirm my sudden conviction of the spiritual agency in these phenomena. +I drifted back, in fact, to my previous position, accepting the +phenomena, but holding the cause an open question. The preface to the +book, "From Matter to Spirit," exactly expressed--shall I say +expresses?--my state of mind. There is one passage in that preface which +appears to me to clinch the difficulty--"I am perfectly convinced that I +have both seen and heard, in a manner which should make unbelief +impossible, things called spiritual, which cannot be taken by a +reasonable being to be capable of explanation by imposture, coincidence, +or mistake. So far I feel the ground firm under me. But when it comes to +what is the cause of these phenomena I find I cannot adopt any +explanation which has yet been suggested. If I were bound to choose +among things which I can conceive, I should say that there is some sort +of action--some sort of combination of will, intellect, and physical +power, which is not that of any of the human beings present. But +thinking it very likely that the universe may contain a few agencies, +say half a million, about which no man knows anything, I cannot but +suspect that a small proportion of these agencies, say five thousand, +may be severally competent to the production of all the phenomena, or +may be quite up to the task among them. _The physical explanations which +I have seen are easy, but miserably insufficient: the spiritual +hypothesis is sufficient but ponderously difficult._" This statement is +natural enough from the scientific side of the question. Perhaps the +theological inquirer, taking the fact into consideration that Scripture +certainly concedes the spiritual origin of kindred phenomena, would +rather reverse the statement, and say (what I individually feel) that +the psychological explanation is the ponderously difficult--the +pneumatological, the comparatively easy one. + +It is now no secret that the author of this excellent treatise, is +Professor De Morgan; and I can only say that if I am accused of +heterodoxy, either from the spiritualist or anti-spiritualist side of +the discussion, I am not ashamed to be a heretic in such company. Let me +put the matter in the present tense, indicative mood--that is the state +of my opinion on the cause of the phenomena. Admitting the facts, I hold +the spiritual theory to be "not proven," but still to be a hypothesis +deserving our most serious consideration, not only as being the only one +that will cover all the facts, but as the one I believe invariably given +in explanation by the intelligence that produces the phenomena, even +when, as in our case, all those present are sceptical of or opposed to +such a theory. + +3. It may perhaps sound illogical if, after stating that I hold the +spiritual origin of these phenomena unproven, I go on to speak of the +identification of the communicating spirit; but I hope I have made it +clear that, even if I do not consider the spiritualistic explanation +demonstrated, it is still a hypothesis which has much in its favour. + +I have already mentioned the subject of identification in the case of +the first communication purporting to come from our little child, and +how no such communications were received for a period of some years +after. In December, 1866, I went to the Marshalls', entering as an +entire stranger, and sitting down at the table. I saw some strong +physical manifestations--a large table being poised in space, in full +light, for some seconds. It was signified there was a spirit present who +wished to communicate, and the message given by raps to me was--"Will +you try to think of us more than you have done?" I asked the name, and +my child's was correctly given, though I had not been announced, and I +have no reason to believe my name was known. The place where he passed +away from earth was also correctly specified. I then asked for my +father, and his name was correctly given, and a message added, which I +cannot say was equally suggestive of individuality. It was--"Bright +inspiration will dawn upon your soul, and do not hide your light under a +bushel." + +Another case in which I tested individuality strongly, with utter +absence of success, was also brought before me somewhat earlier in this +year. I was sent for by a lady who had been a member of my congregation, +and who had taken great interest in these questions. She was suddenly +smitten down with mortal disease, and I remained with her almost to the +last--indeed, I believe her last words were addressed to me, and +referred to this very subject of identification--she consulting _me_ as +to the great problem she was then on the very point of solving! As soon +as she had gone from us, I went home, and tried to communicate with her. +I was informed that her spirit was present, and yet every detail as to +names, &c., was utterly wrong. + +In the spring of the following year I went again to the Marshalls', in +company with one or two other persons, my own object being to see if I +could obtain communication from the spirit of a highly-gifted lady who +had recently died--and also, I may mention--had been the medium of my +previous slight acquaintance with Mr. Coleman. She was very much +interested in these matters, and, when in this world, her great forte +had been writing. She published a volume of poems, which won the special +commendation of the late Charles Dickens, and her letters were most +characteristic ones. I mentioned that I wished to communicate with the +spirit I was thinking of, and said I should be quite satisfied if the +initials were correctly given. Not so--the whole three names were +immediately given in full. I do not feel at liberty to mention the +names; but the surname was one that nine out of ten people always spelt +wrongly (just as they do _my_ name), but on this occasion it was +correctly spelt. I asked for a characteristic message, and received the +words, "I am saved, and will now save others;"--about as unlike my +friend's ordinary style as possible. It may be said her nature had +undergone revolution, but that was not the question. The test was that +something should be given, identifying the spirit, by the style of its +_former_ writing while embodied on earth. + +With one more case, bearing on this subject of identity, and bringing +the matter up to the present date, I feel I may advantageously close +this portion of my experiences--though as I do so, I am thoroughly +dissatisfied with myself to find how much I have left unsaid. It is so +difficult to put these things on paper, or in any way to convey them to +another;--most difficult of all for one unblessed with leisure, and +combining in his single self the pursuits of some three laborious +callings. + +Last year, whilst sitting at Mrs. B----'s, I was touched by a hand which +seemed to me that of a small girl, and which attracted my attention by +the way it lingered in mine--this would amuse Professor Pepper--and the +pertinacity with which it took off my ring. However, I never took any +steps to identify the owner of the hand. + +Some few months ago, my wife and I were sitting, and a communication +came ostensibly from our child. It was quite unexpected; and I said, "I +thought you could not communicate." "I could not before," was the reply. +"But you have not tried me for two years." This we found was true; but +we actually had to look into dates to ascertain it. He added, that he +always was present at séances where I went, and especially at Mrs. +B----'s. It will, I daresay, sound strange to non-spiritualists, but the +initiated can understand the conversational tone we adopt. I said, "But, +Johnny, that was not your hand that touched me at Mrs. B----'s. It was +too large." The answer was, "No! it was Charlie's turn." I said, "What +_do_ you mean by Charlie's turn?" The word was rewritten with almost +petulant haste and remarkable plainness, "Charlie's _twin_." Charlie is +my eldest boy, and his twin-brother was still-born. He would be between +thirteen and fourteen years of age, and that was precisely the sized +hand I felt. This was curious; as the event had occurred a year before, +and such an explanation had never even crossed my mind. I was promised +that, if I would go to Mrs. B----'s again, each of the children would +come and place a hand in mine. I went to the ordinary séance some time +before Christmas, and was then told that the test I wished--which I had +not then specified--should be given to me at a private séance. We had +the private séance, but nothing occurred. + +Such is my case. To one section of my readers I shall appear credulous, +to another hard of belief. I believe that I represent the candid +inquirer. As for being scared off from the inquiry by those who call it +unorthodox, or cry out "fire and brimstone," I should as little think of +heeding them as the omniscient apothecaries who smile at my believing in +mesmerism. If a man's opinions are worth anything--if he has fought his +way to those opinions at the bayonet's point--he will not be scared off +from them by the whole bench of Bishops on the one side, or the College +of Surgeons on the other. Not that I for one moment plead guilty to +heterodoxy, either scientific or theological. I am not, as I have said +several times, a philosopher, but I believe it is scientific to hold as +established what you can prove by experiment. I don't think my creed +contains a jot or tittle beyond this. And as for theological orthodoxy, +I simply take my stand upon the Canons of the Church of England. If all +this spiritual business is delusion, how comes it that No. 72 of the +Constitutions and Canons Ecclesiastical says: "Neither shall any +minister, not licensed, attempt, upon any pretence whatever, either of +possession or obsession, by fasting or prayer, to cast out any devil or +devils?" + +The question, however, is not of this kind of orthodoxy. It rather +refers to the creed of spiritualism. The question, in fact, to which I +and the many who think with me pause for a reply, is:--Allowing, as we +do, some of the phenomena--but considering the pneumatological +explanation hypothetical only--and therefore any identification of +communicating intelligence impossible--are we (for I am sincerely tired +of that first person singular, and glad to take refuge in a community), +are we, or are we not, spiritualists? + +So far was I able to commit myself in my address to the spiritualists of +Harley Street. I was, I confess, greatly pleased when, in 1869, the +Dialectical Society took up this matter, because I felt they were just +the people to look into it dispassionately. They were bound to no set of +opinions, but regarded everything as an open question, accepting nothing +save as the conclusion of a logical argument. I joined the +Society--straining my clerical conscience somewhat to do so--and +eventually formed one of the committee appointed by the Society to +inquire into the matter, and having a sub-committee sitting at my own +house. This, however, broke up suddenly, for I found even philosophers +were not calm in their examination of unpalatable facts. One gentleman +who approached the subject with his mind fully made up, accused the lady +medium of playing tricks, and me of acting showman on the occasion. As +there was no method of shunting this person, I was obliged to break up +my sub-committee. To mention spiritualism to these omniscient gentlemen +is like shaking a red rag at a bull. As a case in point (though, of +course, I do not credit these gentlemen with the assumption of +omniscience), I may quote the replies of Professor Huxley and Mr. G. H. +Lewes to the Society's invitation to sit on their committee:-- + +"Sir,--I regret that I am unable to accept the invitation of the Council +of the Dialectical Society to co-operate with a committee for the +investigation of 'spiritualism;' and for two reasons. In the first +place, I have no time for such an inquiry, which would involve much +trouble and (unless it were unlike all inquiries of that kind I have +known) much annoyance. In the second place, I take no interest in the +subject. The only case of 'spiritualism' I have had the opportunity of +examining into for myself, was as gross an imposture as ever came under +my notice. But supposing the phenomena to be genuine--they do not +interest me. If anybody would endow me with the faculty of listening to +the chatter of old women and curates in the nearest cathedral town, I +should decline the privilege, having better things to do. + +"And if the folk in the spiritual world do not talk more wisely and +sensibly than their friends report them to do, I put them in the same +category. + +"The only good that I can see in a demonstration of the truth of +'spiritualism' is to furnish an additional argument against suicide. +Better live a crossing-sweeper than die and be made to talk twaddle by a +'medium' hired at a guinea a séance. + +"I am, Sir, &c., +"T. H. HUXLEY. + +"29th January, 1869." + +Confessedly Professor Huxley only tried one experiment. I cannot help +thinking if he had not approached the subject with a certain amount of +prejudice he would have been content to "Try again." The side-hit at +curates of course I appreciate! + +"Dear Sir,--I shall not be able to attend the investigation of +'spiritualism;' and in reference to your question about suggestions +would only say that the one hint needful is that all present should +distinguish between facts and inferences from facts. When any man says +that phenomena are produced by _no_ known physical laws, he declares +that he knows the laws by which they are produced. + +"Yours, &c., +"G. H. LEWES. + +"Tuesday, 2nd February, 1869." + +I am not, as I have said, a scientific man, nor do I advance the +slightest pretensions to genius; therefore I have no doubt it is some +mental defect on my part which prevents my seeing the force of Mr. G. H. +Lewes's concluding sentence. I have worked at it for years and am +compelled to say I cannot understand it. + +I sat, however, through the two years' examination which the Society +gave to the subject; and it is not anticipating the conclusion of this +chapter to say I was fully able to concur in the report they +subsequently issued, the gist of which is continued in the final +paragraph:-- + +"In presenting their report, your committee taking into consideration +the high character and great intelligence of many of the witnesses to +the more extraordinary facts, the extent to which their testimony is +supported by the reports of the sub-committees, and the absence of any +proof of imposture or delusion as regards a large portion of the +phenomena; and further, having regard to the exceptional character of +the phenomena, the large number of persons in every grade of society and +over the whole civilized world who are more or less influenced by a +belief in their supernatural origin, and to the fact that no +philosophical explanation of them has yet been arrived at, deem it +incumbent upon them to state their conviction that the subject is worthy +of more serious attention and careful investigation than it has hitherto +received." + +With those cautiously guarded words I venture to think that any one who +even reads the body of evidence contained in the Dialectical Society's +report will be able to coincide. + +To return to my more personal narrative. + +As far as I can trace any order in this somewhat erratic subject, I +think I may venture to say that the manifestations of the last few years +have assumed a more _material_ form than before. It sounds a little +Hibernian to say so, I know; but I still retain the expression. +Supposing, for the moment, that the effects were produced by spirits, +the control of the medium for the production of trance, spirit-voice, +automatic writing, or even communications through raps and tilts of the +table was much more intellectual--less physical than those of which I +now have to speak--namely, the production of the materialized Spirit +Faces and Spirit Forms. + +Two phases of manifestation, I may mention in passing, I have not +seen--namely, the elongation of the body, and the fire test--both as far +as I know peculiar to Mr. Home: nor again have I had personal experience +of Mrs. Guppy's aërial transit, or Dr. Monk's nocturnal flight from +Bristol to Swindon. Nothing of the kind has ever come at all within the +sphere of my observation: therefore I forbear to speak about it. + +I shall never forget the delight with which I received a letter from a +gentleman connected with the literature of spiritualism, informing me +that materialized Spirit Faces had at last been produced in full light, +and inviting me to come and see. I was wearied of dark séances, of fruit +and flowers brought to order. John King's talk wearied me; and Katie's +whispers had become fatally familiar: so I went in eagerly for the new +sensation, and communicated my results to the world in the two papers +called _Spirit Faces_ and _Spirit Forms_, the former published in +_Unorthodox London_, the latter in Chapter 43 of the present volume. +This class of manifestation has since become very common. I cannot say I +ever considered it very satisfactory. I have never discovered any +trickery--and I assure my readers I have kept my eyes and ears very wide +open--but there are in such manifestations facilities for charlatanism +which it is not pleasant to contemplate. This, let me continually +repeat, is a purely personal narrative, and I have never seen any Spirit +Face or Form that I could in the faintest way recognise. Others, I know, +claim to have done so; but I speak strictly of what has occurred to +myself. The same has been the case with Spirit Photographs. I have sat, +after selecting my own plate and watching every stage in the process; +and certainly over my form there has been a shadowy female figure +apparently in the act of benediction;[2] but I cannot trace resemblance +to any one I ever saw in the flesh. Perhaps I have been unfortunate in +this respect. + +Very similar to Miss Cook's mediumship was that of Miss Showers; a young +lady whom I have met frequently at the house of a lady at the West-end +of London, both the medium and her hostess being quite above suspicion. +In this case, besides the face and full form we have singing in a clear +baritone voice presumably by a spirit called Peter--who gives himself +out as having been in earth-life, I believe, a not very estimable +specimen of a market-gardener. I am exceedingly puzzled how to account +for these things. I dare not suspect the medium; but even granting the +truth of the manifestations, they seem to me to be of a low class which +one would only come into contact with under protest and for the sake of +evidence. + +Mr. Crookes used to explain, and Serjeant Cox still explains these +manifestations as being the products of a so-called Psychic Force--a +term which I below define. Although I am as little inclined to +hero-worship, and care as little for large names as any man living, yet +it is quite impossible not to attach importance to the testimony of +these gentlemen; one so eminent in the scientific world, and privileged +to write himself F.R.S., the other trained to weigh evidence and decide +between balanced probabilities. But it would seem that while Psychic +Force might cover the ground of my earlier experiences, it singularly +fails to account for the materializations, and obliges us to relegate +them to the category of fraud, unless we accept them as being what they +profess to be. This I believe Serjeant Cox ruthlessly does. He claims as +we have seen to have "caught" Miss Showers, and was not, I believe, +convinced by Miss Cook. Mr. Crookes was: and, when we remember that Mr. +Wallace, the eminent naturalist, and Mr. Cromwell Varley, the +electrician, both accept the spiritual theory, it really looks as though +the scientific mind was more open to receive--perhaps driven to +receive--this which I frankly concede to be the only adequate cause for +the effects, while the legal mind still remains hair-splitting upon +conflicting evidence. Whereabouts the theological mind is I do not quite +know--perhaps still dangling between the opposite poles of Faith and +Reason, and dubiously debating with me "Am I a Spiritualist or not?" + +In a recent pamphlet reprinted from the Quarterly Journal of Science, +Mr. Crookes thus compendiously sums up the various theories which have +been invented to account for spiritualistic phenomena, and, in so doing, +incidentally defines his now discarded theory of Psychic Force which +owns Mr. Serjeant Cox for its patron:-- + +_First Theory._--The phenomena are all the results of tricks, clever +mechanical arrangements, or legerdemain; the mediums are impostors, and +the rest of the company fools. + +It is obvious that this theory can only account for a very small +proportion of the facts observed. I am willing to admit that some +so-called mediums of whom the public have heard much are arrant +impostors who have taken advantage of the public demand for +spiritualistic excitement to fill their purses with easily earned +guineas; whilst others who have no pecuniary motive for imposture are +tempted to cheat, it would seem, solely by a desire for notoriety. + +_Second Theory._--The persons at a séance are the victims of a sort of +mania or delusion, and imagine phenomena to occur which have no real +objective existence. + +_Third Theory._--The whole is the result of conscious or unconscious +cerebral action. + +These two theories are evidently incapable of embracing more than a +small portion of the phenomena, and they are improbable explanations for +even those. They may be dismissed very briefly. + +I now approach the "spiritual" theories. It must be remembered that the +word "spirits" is used in a very vague sense by the generality of +people. + +_Fourth Theory._--The result of the spirit of the medium, perhaps in +association with the spirits of some or all of the people present. + +_Fifth Theory._--The actions of evil spirits or devils, personifying who +or what they please, in order to undermine Christianity and ruin men's +souls. + +_Sixth Theory._--The actions of a separate order of beings, living on +this earth, but invisible and immaterial to us. Able, however, +occasionally to manifest their presence; known in almost all countries +and ages as demons not necessarily bad, gnomes, fairies, kobolds, elves, +goblins, Puck, &c. + +_Seventh Theory._--The actions of departed human beings--the spiritual +theory _par excellence_. + +_Eighth Theory._--(_The Psychic Force Theory_).--This is a necessary +adjunct to the 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th theories, rather than a theory by +itself. + +According to this theory the "medium," or the circle of people +associated together as a whole, is supposed to possess a force, power, +influence, virtue, or gift, by means of which intelligent beings are +enabled to produce the phenomena observed. What these intelligent beings +are is a subject for other theories. + +It is obvious that a "medium" possesses a _something_ which is not +possessed by an ordinary being. Give this _something_ a name. Call it +"_x_" if you like. Mr. Serjeant Cox calls it Psychic Force. There has +been so much misunderstanding on this subject that I think it best to +give the following explanation in Mr. Serjeant Cox's own words:-- + +"The Theory of _Psychic Force_ is in itself merely the recognition of +the now almost undisputed fact that under certain conditions, as yet but +imperfectly ascertained, and within a limited, but as yet undefined, +distance from the bodies of certain persons having a special nerve +organization, a Force operates by which, without muscular contact or +connexion, action at a distance is caused, and visible motions and +audible sounds are produced in solid substances. As the presence of such +an organization is necessary to the phenomenon, it is reasonably +concluded that the Force does, in some manner as yet unknown, proceed +from that organization. As the organism is itself moved and directed +within its structure by a Force which either is, or is controlled by, +the Soul, Spirit, or Mind (call it what we may) which constitutes the +individual being we term 'the Man,' it is an equally reasonable +conclusion that the Force which causes the motions beyond the limits of +the body is the same Force that produces motion within the limits of the +body. And, inasmuch as the external force is seen to be often directed +by Intelligence, it is an equally reasonable conclusion that the +directing Intelligence of the external force is the same Intelligence +that directs the Force internally. This is the force to which the name +of _Psychic Force_ has been given by me as properly designating a force +which I thus contend to be traced back to the Soul or Mind of the Man as +its source. But I, and all who adopt this theory of Psychic Force, as +being the agent through which the phenomena are produced, do not thereby +intend to assert that this Psychic Force may not be sometimes seized and +directed by some other Intelligence than the Mind of the Psychic. The +most ardent spiritualists practically admit the existence of Psychic +Force under the very inappropriate name of Magnetism (to which it has no +affinity whatever), for they assert that the Spirits of the Dead can +only do the acts attributed to them by using the Magnetism (that is, the +Psychic Force) of the Medium. The difference between the advocates of +Psychic Force and the spiritualists consists in this--that we contend +that there is as yet insufficient proof of any other directing agent +than the Intelligence of the Medium, and no proof whatever of the agency +of Spirits of the Dead; while the spiritualists hold it as a faith, not +demanding further proof, that Spirits of the Dead are the sole agents in +the production of all the phenomena. Thus the controversy resolves +itself into a pure question of _fact_, only to be determined by a +laborious and long continued series of experiments and an extensive +collection of psychological facts, which should be the first duty of the +Psychological Society, the formation of which is now in progress." + +It has frequently struck me, especially in connexion with certain +investigations that I have been making during the last few years, that +Spiritualism is going through much the same phases as Positivism. It +seemed at first impossible that the Positive Philosophy of Auguste Comte +could culminate in a highly ornate Religion of Humanity, with its fall +ritual, its ninefold sacramental system. It is even curious to notice +that it was the death of Clotilde which brought about the change, by +revealing to him the gap which Philosophy always does leave between the +present and the future. So too Spiritualism is beginning to "organize" +and exhibits some symptoms of formulating a Creed and Articles of +Belief. The British National Association of Spiritualists, which has +honoured me by placing my name on its Council, thus states its +principles, under the mottoes:-- + +"He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame +unto him."--Proverbs xviii. 13. + +"In Scripture we are perpetually reminded that the Laws of the Spiritual +World are, in the highest sense, Laws of Nature."--Argyll. + +"He who asserts that, outside of the domain of pure Mathematics, +anything is impossible, lacks a knowledge of the first principles of +Logic."--Arago. + + +DECLARATION OF PRINCIPLES AND PURPOSES. + +"Spiritualism implies the recognition of an inner nature in man. It +deals with facts concerning that inner nature, the existence of which +has been the subject of speculation, dispute, and even of denial, +amongst philosophers in all ages; and in particular, with certain +manifestations of that inner nature which have been observed in persons +of peculiar organizations, now called Mediums or Sensitives, and in +ancient times Prophets, Priests, and Seers. + +"Spiritualism claims to have established on a firm scientific basis the +immortality of man, the permanence of his individuality, and the Open +Communion, under suitable conditions, of the living with the so-called +dead, and affords grounds for the belief in progressive spiritual states +in new spheres of existence. + +"Spiritualism furnishes the key to the better understanding of all +religions, ancient and modern. It explains the philosophy of +Inspiration, and supersedes the popular notion of the miraculous by the +revelation of hitherto unrecognised laws. + +"Spiritualism tends to abrogate exaggerated class distinctions; to +reunite those who are now too often divided by seemingly conflicting +material interests; to encourage the co-operation of men and women in +many new spheres; and to uphold the freedom and rights of the +individual, while maintaining as paramount the sanctity of family life. + +"Finally, the general influence of Spiritualism on the individual is to +inspire him with self-respect, with a love of justice and truth, with a +reverence for Divine law, and with a sense of harmony between man, the +universe, and God. + +"The British National Association of Spiritualists is formed to unite +Spiritualists of every variety of opinion, for their mutual aid and +benefit; to promote the study of Pneumatology and Psychology; to aid +students and inquirers in their researches, by placing at their disposal +the means of systematic investigation into the now recognised facts and +phenomena, called Spiritual or Psychic; to make known the positive +results arrived at by careful scientific research; and to direct +attention to the beneficial influence which those results are calculated +to exercise upon social relationships and individual conduct. It is +intended to include spiritualists of every class, whether members of +Local and Provincial Societies or not, and all inquirers into +psychological and kindred phenomena. + +"The Association, whilst cordially sympathizing with the teachings of +Jesus Christ, will hold itself entirely aloof from all dogmatism or +finalities, whether religious or philosophical, and will content itself +with the establishment and elucidation of well-attested facts, as the +only basis on which any true religion or philosophy can be built up." + +This last clause has, I believe, been modified to suit certain members +of my profession who were a little staggered by its apparent +_patronizing_ of Christianity. For myself (but then, I am unorthodox) I +care little for these written or printed symbola. Having strained my +conscience to join the Dialecticians, I allow my name, without +compunction, to stand on the Council of the Association,--and shall be +really glad if it does them any good. The fact is, I care little for +formal creeds, but much for the fruit of those creeds. I stand by that +good old principle--"By their fruits ye shall know them;" and that +reminds me that to my shreds and patches of "experience" I am to append +some pros and cons of this matter. They have cropped up incidentally as +we have gone on: but I could with advantage collect them if my limits +admitted of sermonizing. + +As to the fruits of Spiritualism, I can only say that I have never +witnessed any of these anti-Christianizing effects which some persons +say arise from a belief in Spiritualism. They simply have not come +within the sphere of my observation, nor do I see any tendency towards +them in the tenets of Spiritualism--rather the reverse. + +Then again, to pass from practice to faith, Spiritualism professes to be +the reverse of exclusive. In addressing the Conference of 1874, and +defending my position as a clerical inquirer, I was able to say:--"On +the broad question of theology I can conceive no single subject which a +clergyman is more bound to examine than that which purports to be a new +revelation, or, at all events, a large extension of the old; and which, +if its claims be substantiated, will quite modify our notions as to what +we now call faith. It proposes, in fact, to supply in matters we have +been accustomed to take on trust, something so like demonstration, that +I feel not only at liberty, but actually bound, whether I like it or +not, to look into the thing. + + * * * * * + +Whether your creed is right or wrong is not for me to tell you; but it +is most important for me that I should assure myself. And while I +recognise that my own duty clearly is to examine the principles you +profess, I find this to be eminently their characteristic, _that they +readily assimilate with those of my own Church_. I see nothing +revolutionary in them. You have no propaganda. You do not call upon me, +as far as I understand, to come out of the body I belong to and join +yours, as so many other bodies do; but you ask me simply to take your +doctrines into my own creed, and vitalize it by their means. That has +always attracted me powerfully towards you. You are the broadest +Churchmen I find anywhere." + +I am not writing thus in any sense as the apologist of Spiritualism. I +am not offering anything like an Apologia pro vitâ meâ in making the +inquiries I have done, am doing, and hope to do. I have elected to take, +and I elect to maintain, a neutral position in this matter. All I have +done is to select from the Pros and Cons that present themselves to my +mind. If the Pros seem to outweigh the Cons--or vice versâ--be it so. I +cannot help it. I have scarcely decided for myself yet, and I am a +veteran investigator. Others may be more speedy in arriving at a +conclusion. + +Among the more obvious "Cons" are the oft-quoted facts that some people +have lost their heads and wasted a good deal of their time on +Spiritualism. But people lose their heads by reading classics or +mathematics, or overdoing any one subject however excellent--even +falling in love: and the ingenuity displayed in wasting time is so +manifold that this is an objection that can scarcely be urged specially +against Spiritualism, though I own Dark Séances do cut terribly into +time. + +Then again one is apt to be taken in by mediums or even by spirits. Yes; +but this only imposes the ordinary obligation of keeping one's eyes +open. I know spiritualists who believe in every medium quâ medium, and +others who accept as unwritten gospel the idiotic utterances of a +departed buccaneer or defunct clown: but these people are so purely +exceptional as simply to prove a rule. Do _not_ accept as final in +so-called spiritual what you would not accept in avowedly mundane +matters. Keep your eyes open and your head cool, and you will not go far +wrong. These are the simple rules that I have elaborated during my +protracted study of the subject. + +"We do not believe, we know," was, as I said, the proud boast a +spiritualist once made to me. And if the facts--any of the facts--of +Spiritualism stand _as_ facts, there is no doubt that it would form the +strongest possible counterpoise to the materialism of our age. It +presses the method of materialism into its service, and meets the +doubter on his own ground of demonstration--a low ground, perhaps, but a +tremendously decisive one, the very one perhaps on which the Battle of +Faith and Reason will have to be fought out. + +If--let us not forget that pregnant monosyllable--if the assumptions of +Spiritualism be true, and that we can only ascertain by personal +investigation, I believe the circumstance would be efficacious in +bringing back much of the old meaning of the word [Greek: pistis] which +was something more than the slipshod Faith standing as its modern +equivalent. It would make it really the substance of things hoped for, +the evidence of things not seen. + +Even if the dangers of Spiritualism were much greater than they +are--aye, as great as the diabolical people themselves make out--I +should still think (in the cautious words of the Dialecticians) +Spiritualism was worth looking into, if only on the bare chance, however +remote, of lighting on some such Philosophy as that so beautifully +sketched by Mr. S. C. Hall in some of the concluding stanzas of his poem +"Philosophy," with which I may fitly conclude-- + + And those we call "the dead" (who are not dead-- + Death was their herald to Celestial Life)-- + May soothe the aching heart and weary head + In pain, in toil, in sorrow, and in strife. + + That is a part of every natural creed-- + Instinctive teaching of another state: + When manacles of earth are loosed and freed-- + Which Science vainly strives to dissipate. + + In tortuous paths, with prompters blind, we trust + One Guide--to lead us forth and set us free! + Give us, Lord God! all merciful and just! + The FAITH that is but Confidence in Thee! + +THE END. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[2] Alluded to above, p. 350. + + +--------------------------------------------------------------+ + | Transcriber's Notes: | + | | + | Page 36: Single closing quote mark after "He will accept | + | you" _sic_ | + | Page 79: "next my boy" _sic_ | + | Page 110: Wormwood Scrubbs _sic_; platform amended to | + | platforms | + | Page 185: anatotomized amended to anatomized; full stop | + | following "few friends" removed | + | Page 186: hooping cough _sic_ | + | Page 234: umpromising amended to unpromising | + | Page 244: "vary scrubby ground" amended to "very scrubby | + | ground" | + | Page 338: flabbergastered _sic_ | + | Page 341: facilè princeps amended to facile princeps | + | Page 360: scarely amended to scarcely | + | Page 365: closing parenthesis added after "particular shape" | + | Page 370: invesgator amended to investigator | + | Page 388: closing parenthesis added after "assumption of | + | omniscience" | + | | + | In the last essay, while there are paragraphs numbered 1 | + | and 3, there is no paragraph numbered 2 in the original. | + | | + | Hyphenation has generally been standardized. However, when | + | hyphenated and unhyphenated versions of a word each occur | + | an equal number of times, both versions have been retained | + | (beershop/beer-shop; nowadays/now-a-days; | + | reaction/re-action; reassumption/re-assumption). | + +--------------------------------------------------------------+ + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Mystic London:, by Charles Maurice Davies + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MYSTIC LONDON: *** + +***** This file should be named 25619-8.txt or 25619-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/5/6/1/25619/ + +Produced by Curtis Weyant and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by Case +Western Reserve University Preservation Department Digital +Library) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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