diff options
| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 05:19:37 -0700 |
|---|---|---|
| committer | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 05:19:37 -0700 |
| commit | 0c95bfdcc735e685c714fa96b6276ebb02074730 (patch) | |
| tree | ca966db1ce00bef6ae1a3d0bb66d7b4b7930c66e /2665-h | |
Diffstat (limited to '2665-h')
| -rw-r--r-- | 2665-h/2665-h.htm | 11009 |
1 files changed, 11009 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/2665-h/2665-h.htm b/2665-h/2665-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..19fa117 --- /dev/null +++ b/2665-h/2665-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,11009 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + The Professor at the Breakfast Table, by Oliver Wendell Holmes + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd7; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Professor at the Breakfast Table +by Oliver Wendell Holmes (Sr.) + +[The Physician and Poet--Not the Jurist O. W. Holmes, Jr.] + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Professor at the Breakfast Table + +Author: Oliver Wendell Holmes (Sr.) + +Release Date: August 15, 2006 [EBook #2665] +Last Updated: February 18, 2018 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PROFESSOR AT BREAKFAST TABLE *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + <h1> + THE PROFESSOR<br /> AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE + </h1> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + by Oliver Wendell Holmes + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <p class="toc"> + <big><b>CONTENTS</b></big> + </p> + <p> + <br /> <a href="#link2H_PREF"> PREFACE TO REVISED EDITION. </a><br /><br /> + <a href="#link2H_PREF2"> PREFACE TO THE NEW EDITION </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#link2H_4_0003"> <b>THE PROFESSOR AT THE BREAKFAST-TABLE.</b> </a> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> I </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> II </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0006"> III </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0007"> IV </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0008"> V </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0009"> VI </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0010"> VII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0011"> VIII </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0012"> IX </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#linkten"> X </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0013"> XI </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0014"> XII </a> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_PREF" id="link2H_PREF"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + PREFACE TO REVISED EDITION. + </h2> + <p> + The reader of to-day will not forget, I trust, that it is nearly a quarter + of a century since these papers were written. Statements which were true + then are not necessarily true now. Thus, the speed of the trotting horse + has been so much developed that the record of the year when the fastest + time to that date was given must be very considerably altered, as may be + seen by referring to a note on page 49 of the “Autocrat.” No doubt many + other statements and opinions might be more or less modified if I were + writing today instead of having written before the war, when the world and + I were both more than a score of years younger. + </p> + <p> + These papers followed close upon the track of the “Autocrat.” They had to + endure the trial to which all second comers are subjected, which is a + formidable ordeal for the least as well as the greatest. Paradise Regained + and the Second Part of Faust are examples which are enough to warn every + one who has made a jingle fair hit with his arrow of the danger of missing + when he looses “his fellow of the selfsame flight.” + </p> + <p> + There is good reason why it should be so. The first juice that runs of + itself from the grapes comes from the heart of the fruit, and tastes of + the pulp only; when the grapes are squeezed in the press the flow betrays + the flavor of the skin. If there is any freshness in the original idea of + the work, if there is any individuality in the method or style of a new + author, or of an old author on a new track, it will have lost much of its + first effect when repeated. Still, there have not been wanting readers who + have preferred this second series of papers to the first. The new papers + were more aggressive than the earlier ones, and for that reason found a + heartier welcome in some quarters, and met with a sharper antagonism in + others. It amuses me to look back on some of the attacks they called + forth. Opinions which do not excite the faintest show of temper at this + time from those who do not accept them were treated as if they were the + utterances of a nihilist incendiary. It required the exercise of some + forbearance not to recriminate. + </p> + <p> + How a stray sentence, a popular saying, the maxim of some wise man, a line + accidentally fallen upon and remembered, will sometimes help one when he + is all ready to be vexed or indignant! One day, in the time when I was + young or youngish, I happened to open a small copy of “Tom Jones,” and + glance at the title-page. There was one of those little engravings + opposite, which bore the familiar name of “T. Uwins,” as I remember it, + and under it the words “Mr. Partridge bore all this patiently.” How many + times, when, after rough usage from ill-mannered critics, my own + vocabulary of vituperation was simmering in such a lively way that it + threatened to boil and lift its lid and so boil over, those words have + calmed the small internal effervescence! There is very little in them and + very little of them; and so there is not much in a linchpin considered by + itself, but it often keeps a wheel from coming off and prevents what might + be a catastrophe. The chief trouble in offering such papers as these to + the readers of to-day is that their heresies have become so familiar among + intelligent people that they have too commonplace an aspect. All the + lighthouses and land-marks of belief bear so differently from the way in + which they presented themselves when these papers were written that it is + hard to recognize that we and our fellow-passengers are still in the same + old vessel sailing the same unfathomable sea and bound to the same as yet + unseen harbor. + </p> + <p> + But after all, there is not enough theology, good or bad, in these papers + to cause them to be inscribed on the Protestant Index Expurgatorius; and + if they are medicated with a few questionable dogmas or antidogmas, the + public has become used to so much rougher treatments, that what was once + an irritant may now act as an anodyne, and the reader may nod over pages + which, when they were first written, would have waked him into a paroxysm + of protest and denunciation. + </p> + <p> + November, 1882. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_PREF2" id="link2H_PREF2"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + PREFACE TO THE NEW EDITION + </h2> + <p> + This book is one of those which, if it lives for a number of decades, and + if it requires any Preface at all, wants a new one every ten years. The + first Preface to a book is apt to be explanatory, perhaps apologetic, in + the expectation of attacks from various quarters. If the book is in some + points in advance of public opinion, it is natural that the writer should + try to smooth the way to the reception of his more or less aggressive + ideas. He wishes to convince, not to offend,—to obtain a hearing for + his thought, not to stir up angry opposition in those who do not accept + it. There is commonly an anxious look about a first Preface. The author + thinks he shall be misapprehended about this or that matter, that his + well-meant expressions will probably be invidiously interpreted by those + whom he looks upon as prejudiced critics, and if he deals with living + questions that he will be attacked as a destructive by the conservatives + and reproached for his timidity by the noisier radicals. The first + Preface, therefore, is likely to be the weakest part of a work containing + the thoughts of an honest writer. + </p> + <p> + After a time the writer has cooled down from his excitement,—has got + over his apprehensions, is pleased to find that his book is still read, + and that he must write a new Preface. He comes smiling to his task. How + many things have explained themselves in the ten or twenty or thirty years + since he came before his untried public in those almost plaintive + paragraphs in which he introduced himself to his readers,—for the + Preface writer, no matter how fierce a combatant he may prove, comes on to + the stage with his shield on his right arm and his sword in his left hand. + </p> + <p> + The Professor at the Breakfast-Table came out in the “Atlantic Monthly” + and introduced itself without any formal Preface. A quarter of a century + later the Preface of 1882, which the reader has just had laid before him, + was written. There is no mark of worry, I think, in that. Old opponents + had come up and shaken hands with the author they had attacked or + denounced. Newspapers which had warned their subscribers against him were + glad to get him as a contributor to their columns. A great change had come + over the community with reference to their beliefs. Christian believers + were united as never before in the feeling that, after all, their common + object was to elevate the moral and religious standard of humanity. But + within the special compartments of the great Christian fold the marks of + division have pronounced themselves in the most unmistakable manner. As an + example we may take the lines of cleavage which have shown themselves in + the two great churches, the Congregational and the Presbyterian, and the + very distinct fissure which is manifest in the transplanted Anglican + church of this country. Recent circumstances have brought out the fact of + the great change in the dogmatic communities which has been going on + silently but surely. The licensing of a missionary, the transfer of a + Professor from one department to another, the election of a Bishop,—each + of these movements furnishes evidence that there is no such thing as an + air-tight reservoir of doctrinal finalities. + </p> + <p> + The folding-doors are wide open to every Protestant to enter all the + privileged precincts and private apartments of the various exclusive + religious organizations. We may demand the credentials of every creed and + catechise all the catechisms. So we may discuss the gravest questions + unblamed over our morning coffee-cups or our evening tea-cups. There is no + rest for the Protestant until he gives up his legendary anthropology and + all its dogmatic dependencies. + </p> + <p> + It is only incidentally, however, that the Professor at the + Breakfast-Table handles matters which are the subjects of religious + controversy. The reader who is sensitive about having his fixed beliefs + dealt with as if they were open to question had better skip the pages + which look as if they would disturb his complacency. “Faith” is the most + precious of possessions, and it dislikes being meddled with. It means, of + course, self-trust,—that is, a belief in the value of our own + opinion of a doctrine, of a church, of a religion, of a Being, a belief + quite independent of any evidence that we can bring to convince a jury of + our fellow beings. Its roots are thus inextricably entangled with those of + self-love and bleed as mandrakes were said to, when pulled up as weeds. + Some persons may even at this late day take offence at a few opinions + expressed in the following pages, but most of these passages will be read + without loss of temper by those who disagree with them, and by-and-by they + may be found too timid and conservative for intelligent readers, if they + are still read by any. + </p> + <p> + BEVERLY FARM, MASS., June 18, 1891. O. W. H. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h1> + THE PROFESSOR<br /> AT THE BREAKFAST-TABLE. + </h1> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + What he said, what he heard, and what he saw. +</pre> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + I + </h2> + <p> + I intended to have signalized my first appearance by a certain large + statement, which I flatter myself is the nearest approach to a universal + formula, of life yet promulgated at this breakfast-table. It would have + had a grand effect. For this purpose I fixed my eyes on a certain + divinity-student, with the intention of exchanging a few phrases, and then + forcing my court-card, namely, The great end of being.—I will thank + you for the sugar,—I said.—Man is a dependent creature. + </p> + <p> + It is a small favor to ask,—said the divinity-student,—and + passed the sugar to me. + </p> + <p> + —Life is a great bundle of little things,—I said. + </p> + <p> + The divinity-student smiled, as if that were the concluding epigram of the + sugar question. + </p> + <p> + You smile,—I said.—Perhaps life seems to you a little bundle + of great things? + </p> + <p> + The divinity-student started a laugh, but suddenly reined it back with a + pull, as one throws a horse on his haunches.—Life is a great bundle + of great things,—he said. + </p> + <p> + (NOW, THEN!) The great end of being, after all, is.... + </p> + <p> + Hold on!—said my neighbor, a young fellow whose name seems to be + John, and nothing else,—for that is what they all call him,—hold + on! the Sculpin is go'n' to say somethin'. + </p> + <p> + Now the Sculpin (Cottus Virginianus) is a little water-beast which + pretends to consider itself a fish, and, under that pretext, hangs about + the piles upon which West-Boston Bridge is built, swallowing the bait and + hook intended for flounders. On being drawn from the water, it exposes an + immense head, a diminutive bony carcass, and a surface so full of spines, + ridges, ruffles, and frills, that the naturalists have not been able to + count them without quarrelling about the number, and that the colored + youth, whose sport they spoil, do not like to touch them, and especially + to tread on them, unless they happen to have shoes on, to cover the thick + white soles of their broad black feet. + </p> + <p> + When, therefore, I heard the young fellow's exclamation, I looked round + the table with curiosity to see what it meant. At the further end of it I + saw a head, and a—a small portion of a little deformed body, mounted + on a high chair, which brought the occupant up to a fair level enough for + him to get at his food. His whole appearance was so grotesque, I felt for + a minute as if there was a showman behind him who would pull him down + presently and put up Judy, or the hangman, or the Devil, or some other + wooden personage of the famous spectacle. I contrived to lose the first of + his sentence, but what I heard began so: + </p> + <p> + —by the Frog-Pond, when there were frogs in and the folks used to + come down from the tents on section and Independence days with their pails + to get water to make egg-pop with. Born in Boston; went to school in + Boston as long as the boys would let me.—The little man groaned, + turned, as if to look around, and went on.—Ran away from school one + day to see Phillips hung for killing Denegri with a logger-head. That was + in flip days, when there were always two three loggerheads in the fire. + I'm a Boston boy, I tell you,—born at North End, and mean to be + buried on Copp's Hill, with the good old underground people,—the + Worthylakes, and the rest of 'em. Yes,—up on the old hill, where + they buried Captain Daniel Malcolm in a stone grave, ten feet deep, to + keep him safe from the red-coats, in those old times when the world was + frozen up tight and there was n't but one spot open, and that was right + over Faneuil all,—and black enough it looked, I tell you! There 's + where my bones shall lie, Sir, and rattle away when the big guns go off at + the Navy Yard opposite! You can't make me ashamed of the old place! Full + crooked little streets;—I was born and used to run round in one of + 'em— + </p> + <p> + —I should think so,—said that young man whom I hear them call + “John,”—softly, not meaning to be heard, nor to be cruel, but + thinking in a half-whisper, evidently.—I should think so; and got + kinked up, turnin' so many corners.—The little man did not hear what + was said, but went on,— + </p> + <p> + —full of crooked little streets; but I tell you Boston has opened, + and kept open, more turnpikes that lead straight to free thought and free + speech and free deeds than any other city of live men or dead men,—I + don't care how broad their streets are, nor how high their steeples! + </p> + <p> + —How high is Bosting meet'n'-house?—said a person with black + whiskers and imperial, a velvet waistcoat, a guard-chain rather too + massive, and a diamond pin so very large that the most trusting nature + might confess an inward suggestion,—of course, nothing amounting to + a suspicion. For this is a gentleman from a great city, and sits next to + the landlady's daughter, who evidently believes in him, and is the object + of his especial attention. + </p> + <p> + How high?—said the little man.—As high as the first step of + the stairs that lead to the New Jerusalem. Is n't that high enough? + </p> + <p> + It is,—I said.—The great end of being is to harmonize man with + the order of things, and the church has been a good pitch-pipe, and may be + so still. But who shall tune the pitch-pipe? Quis cus-(On the whole, as + this quotation was not entirely new, and, being in a foreign language, + might not be familiar to all the boarders, I thought I would not finish + it.) + </p> + <p> + —Go to the Bible!—said a sharp voice from a sharp-faced, + sharp-eyed, sharp-elbowed, strenuous-looking woman in a black dress, + appearing as if it began as a piece of mourning and perpetuated itself as + a bit of economy. + </p> + <p> + You speak well, Madam,—I said;—yet there is room for a gloss + or commentary on what you say. “He who would bring back the wealth of the + Indies must carry out the wealth of the Indies.” What you bring away from + the Bible depends to some extent on what you carry to it.—Benjamin + Franklin! Be so good as to step up to my chamber and bring me down the + small uncovered pamphlet of twenty pages which you will find lying under + the “Cruden's Concordance.” [The boy took a large bite, which left a very + perfect crescent in the slice of bread-and-butter he held, and departed on + his errand, with the portable fraction of his breakfast to sustain him on + the way.] + </p> + <p> + —Here it is. “Go to the Bible. A Dissertation, etc., etc. By J. J. + Flournoy. Athens, Georgia, 1858.” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Flournoy, Madam, has obeyed the precept which you have judiciously + delivered. You may be interested, Madam, to know what are the conclusions + at which Mr. J. J. Flournoy of Athens, Georgia, has arrived. You shall + hear, Madam. He has gone to the Bible, and he has come back from the + Bible, bringing a remedy for existing social evils, which, if it is the + real specific, as it professes to be, is of great interest to humanity, + and to the female part of humanity in particular. It is what he calls + TRIGAMY, Madam, or the marrying of three wives, so that “good old men” may + be solaced at once by the companionship of the wisdom of maturity, and of + those less perfected but hardly less engaging qualities which are found at + an earlier period of life. He has followed your precept, Madam; I hope you + accept his conclusions. + </p> + <p> + The female boarder in black attire looked so puzzled, and, in fact, “all + abroad,” after the delivery of this “counter” of mine, that I left her to + recover her wits, and went on with the conversation, which I was beginning + to get pretty well in hand. + </p> + <p> + But in the mean time I kept my eye on the female boarder to see what + effect I had produced. First, she was a little stunned at having her + argument knocked over. Secondly, she was a little shocked at the + tremendous character of the triple matrimonial suggestion. Thirdly.—I + don't like to say what I thought. Something seemed to have pleased her + fancy. Whether it was, that, if trigamy should come into fashion, there + would be three times as many chances to enjoy the luxury of saying, “No!” + is more than I, can tell you. I may as well mention that B. F. came to me + after breakfast to borrow the pamphlet for “a lady,”—one of the + boarders, he said,—looking as if he had a secret he wished to be + relieved of. + </p> + <p> + —I continued.—If a human soul is necessarily to be trained up + in the faith of those from whom it inherits its body, why, there is the + end of all reason. If, sooner or later, every soul is to look for truth + with its own eyes, the first thing is to recognize that no presumption in + favor of any particular belief arises from the fact of our inheriting it. + Otherwise you would not give the Mahometan a fair chance to become a + convert to a better religion. + </p> + <p> + The second thing would be to depolarize every fixed religious idea in the + mind by changing the word which stands for it. + </p> + <p> + —I don't know what you mean by “depolarizing” an idea,—said + the divinity-student. + </p> + <p> + I will tell you,—I said.—When a given symbol which represents + a thought has lain for a certain length of time in the mind, it undergoes + a change like that which rest in a certain position gives to iron. It + becomes magnetic in its relations,—it is traversed by strange forces + which did not belong to it. The word, and consequently the idea it + represents, is polarized. + </p> + <p> + The religious currency of mankind, in thought, in speech, and in print, + consists entirely of polarized words. Borrow one of these from another + language and religion, and you will find it leaves all its magnetism + behind it. Take that famous word, O'm, of the Hindoo mythology. Even a + priest cannot pronounce it without sin; and a holy Pundit would shut his + ears and run away from you in horror, if you should say it aloud. What do + you care for O'm? If you wanted to get the Pundit to look at his religion + fairly, you must first depolarize this and all similar words for him. The + argument for and against new translations of the Bible really turns on + this. Skepticism is afraid to trust its truths in depolarized words, and + so cries out against a new translation. I think, myself, if every idea our + Book contains could be shelled out of its old symbol and put into a new, + clean, unmagnetic word, we should have some chance of reading it as + philosophers, or wisdom-lovers, ought to read it,—which we do not + and cannot now any more than a Hindoo can read the “Gayatri” as a fair man + and lover of truth should do. When society has once fairly dissolved the + New Testament, which it never has done yet, it will perhaps crystallize it + over again in new forms of language. + </p> + <p> + I did n't know you was a settled minister over this parish,—said the + young fellow near me. + </p> + <p> + A sermon by a lay-preacher may be worth listening—I replied, calmly. + —It gives the parallax of thought and feeling as they appear to the + observers from two very different points of view. If you wish to get the + distance of a heavenly body, you know that you must take two observations + from remote points of the earth's orbit,—in midsummer and midwinter, + for instance. To get the parallax of heavenly truths, you must take an + observation from the position of the laity as well as of the clergy. + Teachers and students of theology get a certain look, certain conventional + tones of voice, a clerical gait, a professional neckcloth, and habits of + mind as professional as their externals. They are scholarly men and read + Bacon, and know well enough what the “idols of the tribe” are. Of course + they have their false gods, as all men that follow one exclusive calling + are prone to do.—The clergy have played the part of the flywheel in + our modern civilization. They have never suffered it to stop. They have + often carried on its movement, when other moving powers failed, by the + momentum stored in their vast body. Sometimes, too, they have kept it back + by their vis inertia, when its wheels were like to grind the bones of some + old canonized error into fertilizers for the soil that yields the bread of + life. But the mainspring of the world's onward religious movement is not + in them, nor in any one body of men, let me tell you. It is the people + that makes the clergy, and not the clergy that makes the people. Of + course, the profession reacts on its source with variable energy.—But + there never was a guild of dealers or a company of craftsmen that did not + need sharp looking after. + </p> + <p> + Our old friend, Dr. Holyoke, whom we gave the dinner to some time since, + must have known many people that saw the great bonfire in Harvard College + yard. + </p> + <p> + —Bonfire?—shrieked the little man.—The bonfire when + Robert Calef's book was burned? + </p> + <p> + The same,—I said,—when Robert Calef the Boston merchant's book + was burned in the yard of Harvard College, by order of Increase Mather, + President of the College and Minister of the Gospel. You remember the old + witchcraft revival of '92, and how stout Master Robert Calef, trader of + Boston, had the pluck to tell the ministers and judges what a set of fools + and worse than fools they were— + </p> + <p> + Remember it?—said the little man.—I don't think I shall forget + it, as long as I can stretch this forefinger to point with, and see what + it wears. There was a ring on it. + </p> + <p> + May I look at it?—I said. + </p> + <p> + Where it is,—said the little man;—it will never come off, till + it falls off from the bone in the darkness and in the dust. + </p> + <p> + He pushed the high chair on which he sat slightly back from the table, and + dropped himself, standing, to the floor,—his head being only a + little above the level of the table, as he stood. With pain and labor, + lifting one foot over the other, as a drummer handles his sticks, he took + a few steps from his place,—his motions and the deadbeat of the + misshapen boots announcing to my practised eye and ear the malformation + which is called in learned language talipes varus, or inverted club-foot. + </p> + <p> + Stop! stop!—I said,—let me come to you. + </p> + <p> + The little man hobbled back, and lifted himself by the left arm, with an + ease approaching to grace which surprised me, into his high chair. I + walked to his side, and he stretched out the forefinger of his right hand, + with the ring upon it. The ring had been put on long ago, and could not + pass the misshapen joint. It was one of those funeral rings which used to + be given to relatives and friends after the decease of persons of any note + or importance. Beneath a round fit of glass was a death's head. Engraved + on one side of this, “L. B. AEt. 22,”—on the other, “Ob. 1692” + </p> + <p> + My grandmother's grandmother,—said the little man.—Hanged for + a witch. It does n't seem a great while ago. I knew my grandmother, and + loved her. Her mother was daughter to the witch that Chief Justice Sewall + hanged and Cotton Mather delivered over to the Devil.—That was + Salem, though, and not Boston. No, not Boston. Robert Calef, the Boston + merchant, it was that blew them all to— + </p> + <p> + Never mind where he blew them to,—I said; for the little man was + getting red in the face, and I did n't know what might come next. + </p> + <p> + This episode broke me up, as the jockeys say, out of my square + conversational trot; but I settled down to it again. + </p> + <p> + —A man that knows men, in the street, at their work, human nature in + its shirt-sleeves, who makes bargains with deacons, instead of talking + over texts with them, a man who has found out that there are plenty of + praying rogues and swearing saints in the world,—above all, who has + found out, by living into the pith and core of life, that all of the Deity + which can be folded up between the sheets of any human book is to the + Deity of the firmament, of the strata, of the hot aortic flood of + throbbing human life, of this infinite, instantaneous consciousness in + which the soul's being consists,—an incandescent point in the + filament connecting the negative pole of a past eternity with the positive + pole of an eternity that is to come,—that all of the Deity which any + human book can hold is to this larger Deity of the working battery of the + universe only as the films in a book of gold-leaf are to the broad seams + and curdled lumps of ore that lie in unsunned mines and virgin placers,—Oh!—I + was saying that a man who lives out-of-doors, among live people, gets some + things into his head he might not find in the index of his “Body of + Divinity.” + </p> + <p> + I tell you what,—the idea of the professions' digging a moat round + their close corporations, like that Japanese one at Jeddo, on the bottom + of which, if travellers do not lie, you could put Park Street Church and + look over the vane from its side, and try to stretch another such spire + across it without spanning the chasm,—that idea, I say, is pretty + nearly worn out. Now when a civilization or a civilized custom falls into + senile dementia, there is commonly a judgment ripe for it, and it comes as + plagues come, from a breath,—as fires come, from a spark. + </p> + <p> + Here, look at medicine. Big wigs, gold-headed canes, Latin prescriptions, + shops full of abominations, recipes a yard long, “curing” patients by + drugging as sailors bring a wind by whistling, selling lies at a guinea + apiece,—a routine, in short, of giving unfortunate sick people a + mess of things either too odious to swallow or too acrid to hold, or, if + that were possible, both at once. + </p> + <p> + —You don't know what I mean, indignant and not unintelligent + country-practitioner? Then you don't know the history of medicine,—and + that is not my fault. But don't expose yourself in any outbreak of + eloquence; for, by the mortar in which Anaxarchus was pounded! I did not + bring home Schenckius and Forestus and Hildanus, and all the old folios in + calf and vellum I will show you, to be bullied by the proprietor, of a + “Wood and Bache,” and a shelf of peppered sheepskin reprints by + Philadelphia Editors. Besides, many of the profession and I know a little + something of each other, and you don't think I am such a simpleton as to + lose their good opinion by saying what the better heads among them would + condemn as unfair and untrue? Now mark how the great plague came on the + generation of drugging doctors, and in what form it fell. + </p> + <p> + A scheming drug-vender, (inventive genius,) an utterly untrustworthy and + incompetent observer, (profound searcher of Nature,) a shallow dabbler in + erudition, (sagacious scholar,) started the monstrous fiction (founded the + immortal system) of Homoeopathy. I am very fair, you see,—you can + help yourself to either of these sets of phrases. + </p> + <p> + All the reason in the world would not have had so rapid and general an + effect on the public mind to disabuse it of the idea that a drug is a good + thing in itself, instead of being, as it is, a bad thing, as was produced + by the trick (system) of this German charlatan (theorist). Not that the + wiser part of the profession needed him to teach them; but the routinists + and their employers, the “general practitioners,” who lived by selling + pills and mixtures, and their drug-consuming customers, had to recognize + that people could get well, unpoisoned. These dumb cattle would not learn + it of themselves, and so the murrain of Homoeopathy fell on them. + </p> + <p> + —You don't know what plague has fallen on the practitioners of + theology? I will tell you, then. It is Spiritualism. While some are crying + out against it as a delusion of the Devil, and some are laughing at it as + an hysteric folly, and some are getting angry with it as a mere trick of + interested or mischievous persons, Spiritualism is quietly undermining the + traditional ideas of the future state which have been and are still + accepted,—not merely in those who believe in it, but in the general + sentiment of the community, to a larger extent than most good people seem + to be aware of. It need n't be true, to do this, any more than Homoeopathy + need, to do its work. The Spiritualists have some pretty strong instincts + to pry over, which no doubt have been roughly handled by theologians at + different times. And the Nemesis of the pulpit comes, in a shape it little + thought of, beginning with the snap of a toe-joint, and ending with such a + crack of old beliefs that the roar of it is heard in all the ministers' + studies of Christendom? Sir, you cannot have people of cultivation, of + pure character, sensible enough in common things, large-hearted women, + grave judges, shrewd business-men, men of science, professing to be in + communication with the spiritual world and keeping up constant intercourse + with it, without its gradually reacting on the whole conception of that + other life. It is the folly of the world, constantly, which confounds its + wisdom. Not only out of the mouths of babes and sucklings, but out of the + mouths of fools and cheats, we may often get our truest lessons. For the + fool's judgment is a dog-vane that turns with a breath, and the cheat + watches the clouds and sets his weathercock by them,—so that one + shall often see by their pointing which way the winds of heaven are + blowing, when the slow-wheeling arrows and feathers of what we call the + Temples of Wisdom are turning to all points of the compass. + </p> + <p> + —Amen!—said the young fellow called John—Ten minutes by + the watch. Those that are unanimous will please to signify by holding up + their left foot! + </p> + <p> + I looked this young man steadily in the face for about thirty seconds. His + countenance was as calm as that of a reposing infant. I think it was + simplicity, rather than mischief, with perhaps a youthful playfulness, + that led him to this outbreak. I have often noticed that even quiet + horses, on a sharp November morning, when their coats are beginning to get + the winter roughness, will give little sportive demi-kicks, with slight + sudden elevation of the subsequent region of the body, and a sharp short + whinny,—by no means intending to put their heels through the dasher, + or to address the driver rudely, but feeling, to use a familiar word, + frisky. This, I think, is the physiological condition of the young person, + John. I noticed, however, what I should call a palpebral spasm, affecting + the eyelid and muscles of one side, which, if it were intended for the + facial gesture called a wink, might lead me to suspect a disposition to be + satirical on his part. + </p> + <p> + —Resuming the conversation, I remarked,—I am, ex officio, as a + Professor, a conservative. For I don't know any fruit that clings to its + tree so faithfully, not even a “froze-'n'-thaw” winter-apple, as a + Professor to the bough of which his chair is made. You can't shake him + off, and it is as much as you can do to pull him off. Hence, by a chain of + induction I need not unwind, he tends to conservatism generally. + </p> + <p> + But then, you know, if you are sailing the Atlantic, and all at once find + yourself in a current, and the sea covered with weeds, and drop your + Fahrenheit over the side and find it eight or ten degrees higher than in + the ocean generally, there is no use in flying in the face of facts and + swearing there is no such thing as a Gulf-Stream, when you are in it. + </p> + <p> + You can't keep gas in a bladder, and you can't keep knowledge tight in a + profession. Hydrogen will leak out, and air will leak in, through + India-rubber; and special knowledge will leak out, and general knowledge + will leak in, though a profession were covered with twenty thicknesses of + sheepskin diplomas. + </p> + <p> + By Jove, Sir, till common sense is well mixed up with medicine, and common + manhood with theology, and common honesty with law, We the people, Sir, + some of us with nut-crackers, and some of us with trip-hammers, and some + of us with pile-drivers, and some of us coming with a whish! like + air-stones out of a lunar volcano, will crash down on the lumps of + nonsense in all of them till we have made powder of them—like + Aaron's calf. + </p> + <p> + If to be a conservative is to let all the drains of thought choke up and + keep all the soul's windows down,—to shut out the sun from the east + and the wind from the west,—to let the rats run free in the cellar, + and the moths feed their fill in the chambers, and the spiders weave their + lace before the mirrors, till the soul's typhus is bred out of our + neglect, and we begin to snore in its coma or rave in its delirium,—I, + Sir, am a bonnet-rouge, a red cap of the barricades, my friends, rather + than a conservative. + </p> + <p> + —Were you born in Boston, Sir?—said the little man,—looking + eager and excited. + </p> + <p> + I was not,—I replied. + </p> + <p> + It's a pity,—it's a pity,—said the little man;—it 's the + place to be born in. But if you can't fix it so as to be born here, you + can come and live here. Old Ben Franklin, the father of American science + and the American Union, was n't ashamed to be born here. Jim Otis, the + father of American Independence, bothered about in the Cape Cod marshes + awhile, but he came to Boston as soon as he got big enough. Joe Warren, + the first bloody ruffed-shirt of the Revolution, was as good as born here. + Parson Charming strolled along this way from Newport, and stayed here. + Pity old Sam Hopkins hadn't come, too;—we'd have made a man of him,—poor, + dear, good old Christian heathen! There he lies, as peaceful as a young + baby, in the old burying-ground! I've stood on the slab many a time. Meant + well,—meant well. Juggernaut. Parson Charming put a little oil on + one linchpin, and slipped it out so softly, the first thing they knew + about it was the wheel of that side was down. T' other fellow's at work + now, but he makes more noise about it. When the linchpin comes out on his + side, there'll be a jerk, I tell you! Some think it will spoil the old + cart, and they pretend to say that there are valuable things in it which + may get hurt. Hope not,—hope not. But this is the great Macadamizing + place,—always cracking up something. + </p> + <p> + Cracking up Boston folks,—said the gentleman with the diamond-pin, + whom, for convenience' sake, I shall hereafter call the Koh-i-noor. + </p> + <p> + The little man turned round mechanically towards him, as Maelzel's Turk + used to turn, carrying his head slowly and horizontally, as if it went by + cogwheels.—Cracking up all sorts of things,—native and foreign + vermin included,—said the little man. + </p> + <p> + This remark was thought by some of us to have a hidden personal + application, and to afford a fair opening for a lively rejoinder, if the + Koh-i-noor had been so disposed. The little man uttered it with the + distinct wooden calmness with which the ingenious Turk used to exclaim, + E-chec! so that it must have been heard. The party supposed to be + interested in the remark was, however, carrying a large knife-bladeful of + something to his mouth just then, which, no doubt, interfered with the + reply he would have made. + </p> + <p> + —My friend who used to board here was accustomed sometimes, in a + pleasant way, to call himself the Autocrat of the table,—meaning, I + suppose, that he had it all his own way among the boarders. I think our + small boarder here is like to prove a refractory subject, if I undertake + to use the sceptre my friend meant to bequeath me, too magisterially. I + won't deny that sometimes, on rare occasions, when I have been in company + with gentlemen who preferred listening, I have been guilty of the same + kind of usurpation which my friend openly justified. But I maintain, that + I, the Professor, am a good listener. If a man can tell me a fact which + subtends an appreciable angle in the horizon of thought, I am as receptive + as the contribution-box in a congregation of colored brethren. If, when I + am exposing my intellectual dry-goods, a man will begin a good story, I + will have them all in, and my shutters up, before he has got to the fifth + “says he,” and listen like a three-years' child, as the author of the “Old + Sailor” says. I had rather hear one of those grand elemental laughs from + either of our two Georges, (fictitious names, Sir or Madam,) glisten to + one of those old playbills of our College days, in which “Tom and Jerry” + (“Thomas and Jeremiah,” as the old Greek Professor was said to call it) + was announced to be brought on the stage with whole force of the Faculty, + read by our Frederick, (no such person, of course,) than say the best + things I might by any chance find myself capable of saying. Of course, if + I come across a real thinker, a suggestive, acute, illuminating, informing + talker, I enjoy the luxury of sitting still for a while as much as + another. + </p> + <p> + Nobody talks much that does n't say unwise things,—things he did not + mean to say; as no person plays much without striking a false note + sometimes. Talk, to me, is only spading up the ground for crops of + thought. I can't answer for what will turn up. If I could, it would n't be + talking, but “speaking my piece.” Better, I think, the hearty abandonment + of one's self to the suggestions of the moment at the risk of an + occasional slip of the tongue, perceived the instant it escapes, but just + one syllable too late, than the royal reputation of never saying a foolish + thing. + </p> + <p> + —What shall I do with this little man?—There is only one thing + to do,—and that is to let him talk when he will. The day of the + “Autocrat's” monologues is over. + </p> + <p> + —My friend,—said I to the young fellow whom, as I have said, + the boarders call “John,”—My friend,—I said, one morning, + after breakfast,—can you give me any information respecting the + deformed person who sits at the other end of the table? + </p> + <p> + What! the Sculpin?—said the young fellow. + </p> + <p> + The diminutive person, with angular curvature of the spine,—I said, + —and double talipes varus,—I beg your pardon,—with two + club-feet. + </p> + <p> + Is that long word what you call it when a fellah walks so?—said the + young man, making his fists revolve round an imaginary axis, as you may + have seen youth of tender age and limited pugilistic knowledge, when they + show how they would punish an adversary, themselves protected by this + rotating guard,—the middle knuckle, meantime, thumb-supported, + fiercely prominent, death-threatening. + </p> + <p> + It is,—said I.—But would you have the kindness to tell me if + you know anything about this deformed person? + </p> + <p> + About the Sculpin?—said the young fellow. + </p> + <p> + My good friend,—said I,—I am sure, by your countenance, you + would not hurt the feelings of one who has been hardly enough treated by + Nature to be spared by his fellows. Even in speaking of him to others, I + could wish that you might not employ a term which implies contempt for + what should inspire only pity. + </p> + <p> + A fellah 's no business to be so crooked,—said the young man called + John. + </p> + <p> + Yes, yes,—I said, thoughtfully,—the strong hate the weak. It's + all right. The arrangement has reference to the race, and not to the + individual. Infirmity must be kicked out, or the stock run down. Wholesale + moral arrangements are so different from retail!—I understand the + instinct, my friend,—it is cosmic,—it is planetary,—it + is a conservative principle in creation. + </p> + <p> + The young fellow's face gradually lost its expression as I was speaking, + until it became as blank of vivid significance as the countenance of a + gingerbread rabbit with two currants in the place of eyes. He had not + taken my meaning. + </p> + <p> + Presently the intelligence came back with a snap that made him wink, as he + answered,—Jest so. All right. A 1. Put her through. That's the way + to talk. Did you speak to me, Sir?—Here the young man struck up that + well-known song which I think they used to sing at Masonic festivals, + beginning, “Aldiborontiphoscophornio, Where left you + Chrononhotonthologos?” + </p> + <p> + I beg your pardon,—I said;—all I meant was, that men, as + temporary occupants of a permanent abode called human life, which is + improved or injured by occupancy, according to the style of tenant, have a + natural dislike to those who, if they live the life of the race as well as + of the individual, will leave lasting injurious effects upon the abode + spoken of, which is to be occupied by countless future generations. This + is the final cause of the underlying brute instinct which we have in + common with the herds. + </p> + <p> + —The gingerbread-rabbit expression was coming on so fast, that I + thought I must try again.—It's a pity that families are kept up, + where there are such hereditary infirmities. Still, let us treat this poor + man fairly, and not call him names. Do you know what his name is? + </p> + <p> + I know what the rest of 'em call him,—said the young fellow.—They + call him Little Boston. There's no harm in that, is there? + </p> + <p> + It is an honorable term,—I replied.—But why Little Boston, in + a place where most are Bostonians? + </p> + <p> + Because nobody else is quite so Boston all over as he is,—said the + young fellow. + </p> + <p> + “L. B. Ob. 1692.”—Little Boston let him be, when we talk about him. + The ring he wears labels him well enough. There is stuff in the little + man, or he would n't stick so manfully by this crooked, crotchety old + town. Give him a chance.—You will drop the Sculpin, won't you?—I + said to the young fellow. + </p> + <p> + Drop him?—he answered,—I ha'n't took him up yet. + </p> + <p> + No, no,—the term,—I said,—the term. Don't call him so + any more, if you please. Call him Little Boston, if you like. + </p> + <p> + All right,—said the young fellow.—I would n't be hard on the + poor little— + </p> + <p> + The word he used was objectionable in point of significance and of + grammar. It was a frequent termination of certain adjectives among the + Romans,—as of those designating a person following the sea, or given + to rural pursuits. It is classed by custom among the profane words; why, + it is hard to say,—but it is largely used in the street by those who + speak of their fellows in pity or in wrath. + </p> + <p> + I never heard the young fellow apply the name of the odious pretended fish + to the little man from that day forward. + </p> + <p> + —Here we are, then, at our boarding—house. First, myself, the + Professor, a little way from the head of the table, on the right, looking + down, where the “Autocrat” used to sit. At the further end sits the + Landlady. At the head of the table, just now, the Koh-i-noor, or the + gentleman with the diamond. Opposite me is a Venerable Gentleman with a + bland countenance, who as yet has spoken little. The Divinity Student is + my neighbor on the right,—and further down, that Young Fellow of + whom I have repeatedly spoken. The Landlady's Daughter sits near the + Koh-i-noor, as I said. The Poor Relation near the Landlady. At the right + upper corner is a fresh-looking youth of whose name and history I have as + yet learned nothing. Next the further left-hand corner, near the lower end + of the table, sits the deformed person. The chair at his side, occupying + that corner, is empty. I need not specially mention the other boarders, + with the exception of Benjamin Franklin, the landlady's son, who sits near + his mother. We are a tolerably assorted set,—difference enough and + likeness enough; but still it seems to me there is something wanting. The + Landlady's Daughter is the prima donna in the way of feminine attractions. + I am not quite satisfied with this young lady. She wears more “jewelry,” + as certain young ladies call their trinkets, than I care to see on a + person in her position. Her voice is strident, her laugh too much like a + giggle, and she has that foolish way of dancing and bobbing like a + quill-float with a “minnum” biting the hook below it, which one sees and + weeps over sometimes in persons of more pretensions. I can't help hoping + we shall put something into that empty chair yet which will add the + missing string to our social harp. I hear talk of a rare Miss who is + expected. Something in the schoolgirl way, I believe. We shall see. + </p> + <p> + —My friend who calls himself The Autocrat has given me a caution + which I am going to repeat, with my comment upon it, for the benefit of + all concerned. + </p> + <p> + Professor,—said he, one day,—don't you think your brain will + run dry before a year's out, if you don't get the pump to help the cow? + Let me tell you what happened to me once. I put a little money into a + bank, and bought a check-book, so that I might draw it as I wanted, in + sums to suit. Things went on nicely for a time; scratching with a pen was + as easy as rubbing Aladdin's Lamp; and my blank check-book seemed to be a + dictionary of possibilities, in which I could find all the synonymes of + happiness, and realize any one of them on the spot. A check came back to + me at last with these two words on it,—NO FUNDS. My check-book was a + volume of waste-paper. + </p> + <p> + Now, Professor,—said he,—I have drawn something out of your + bank, you know; and just so sure as you keep drawing out your soul's + currency without making new deposits, the next thing will be, NO FUNDS,—and + then where will you be, my boy? These little bits of paper mean your gold + and your silver and your copper, Professor; and you will certainly break + up and go to pieces, if you don't hold on to your metallic basis. + </p> + <p> + There is something in that,—said I.—Only I rather think life + can coin thought somewhat faster than I can count it off in words. What if + one shall go round and dry up with soft napkins all the dew that falls of + a June evening on the leaves of his garden? Shall there be no more dew on + those leaves thereafter? Marry, yea,—many drops, large and round and + full of moonlight as those thou shalt have absterged! + </p> + <p> + Here am I, the Professor,—a man who has lived long enough to have + plucked the flowers of life and come to the berries,—which are not + always sad-colored, but sometimes golden-hued as the crocus of April, or + rosy-cheeked as the damask of June; a man who staggered against books as a + baby, and will totter against them, if he lives to decrepitude; with a + brain full of tingling thoughts, such as they are, as a limb which we call + “asleep,” because it is so particularly awake, is of pricking points; + presenting a key-board of nerve-pulps, not as yet tanned or ossified, to + finger-touch of all outward agencies; knowing nothing of the filmy threads + of this web of life in which we insects buzz awhile, waiting for the gray + old spider to come along; contented enough with daily realities, but + twirling on his finger the key of a private Bedlam of ideals; in knowledge + feeding with the fox oftener than with the stork,—loving better the + breadth of a fertilizing inundation than the depth of narrow artesian + well; finding nothing too small for his contemplation in the markings of + the grammatophora subtilissima, and nothing too large in the movement of + the solar system towards the star Lambda of the constellation Hercules;—and + the question is, whether there is anything left for me, the Professor, to + suck out of creation, after my lively friend has had his straw in the + bung-hole of the Universe! + </p> + <p> + A man's mental reactions with the atmosphere of life must go on, whether + he will or no, as between his blood and the air he breathes. As to + catching the residuum of the process, or what we call thought,—the + gaseous ashes of burned-out thinking,—the excretion of mental + respiration,—that will depend on many things, as, on having a + favorable intellectual temperature about one, and a fitting receptacle.—I + sow more thought-seeds in twenty-four hours' travel over the desert-sand + along which my lonely consciousness paces day and night, than I shall + throw into soil where it will germinate, in a year. All sorts of bodily + and mental perturbations come between us and the due projection of our + thought. The pulse-like “fits of easy and difficult transmission” seem to + reach even the transparent medium through which our souls are seen. We + know our humanity by its often intercepted rays, as we tell a revolving + light from a star or meteor by its constantly recurring obscuration. + </p> + <p> + An illustrious scholar once told me, that, in the first lecture he ever + delivered, he spoke but half his allotted time, and felt as if he had told + all he knew. Braham came forward once to sing one of his most famous and + familiar songs, and for his life could not recall the first line of it;—he + told his mishap to the audience, and they screamed it at him in a chorus + of a thousand voices. Milton could not write to suit himself, except from + the autumnal to the vernal equinox. One in the clothing-business, who, + there is reason to suspect, may have inherited, by descent, the great + poet's impressible temperament, let a customer slip through his fingers + one day without fitting him with a new garment. “Ah!” said he to a friend + of mine, who was standing by, “if it hadn't been for that confounded + headache of mine this morning, I'd have had a coat on that man, in spite + of himself, before he left-the store.” A passing throb, only,—but it + deranged the nice mechanism required to persuade the accidental human + being, X, into a given piece of broadcloth, A. + </p> + <p> + We must take care not to confound this frequent difficulty of transmission + of our ideas with want of ideas. I suppose that a man's mind does in time + form a neutral salt with the elements in the universe for which it has + special elective affinities. In fact, I look upon a library as a kind of + mental chemist's shop filled with the crystals of all forms and hues which + have come from the union of individual thought with local circumstances or + universal principles. + </p> + <p> + When a man has worked out his special affinities in this way, there is an + end of his genius as a real solvent. No more effervescence and hissing + tumult—as he pours his sharp thought on the world's biting alkaline + unbeliefs! No more corrosion of the old monumental tablets covered with + lies! No more taking up of dull earths, and turning them, first into clear + solutions, and then into lustrous prisms! + </p> + <p> + I, the Professor, am very much like other men: I shall not find out when I + have used up my affinities. What a blessed thing it is, that Nature, when + she invented, manufactured, and patented her authors, contrived to make + critics out of the chips that were left! Painful as the task is, they + never fail to warn the author, in the most impressive manner, of the + probabilities of failure in what he has undertaken. Sad as the necessity + is to their delicate sensibilities, they never hesitate to advertise him + of the decline of his powers, and to press upon him the propriety of + retiring before he sinks into imbecility. Trusting to their kind offices, + I shall endeavor to fulfil— + </p> + <p> + —Bridget enters and begins clearing the table. + </p> + <p> + —The following poem is my (The Professor's) only contribution to the + great department of Ocean-Cable literature. As all the poets of this + country will be engaged for the next six weeks in writing for the premium + offered by the Crystal-Palace Company for the Burns Centenary, (so called, + according to our Benjamin Franklin, because there will be nary a cent for + any of us,) poetry will be very scarce and dear. Consumers may, + consequently, be glad to take the present article, which, by the aid of a + Latin tutor—and a Professor of Chemistry, will be found intelligible + to the educated classes. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + DE SAUTY + + AN ELECTRO-CHEMICAL ECLOGUE. + + Professor. Blue-Nose. + + PROFESSOR. + + Tell me, O Provincial! speak, Ceruleo-Nasal! + Lives there one De Sauty extant now among you, + Whispering Boanerges, son of silent thunder, + Holding talk with nations? + + Is there a De Sauty, ambulant on Tellus, + Bifid-cleft like mortals, dormient in night-cap, + Having sight, smell, hearing, food-receiving feature + Three times daily patent? + + Breathes there such a being, O Ceruleo-Nasal? + Or is he a mythus,—ancient word for “humbug,” + —Such as Livy told about the wolf that wet-nursed + Romulus and Remus? + + Was he born of woman, this alleged De Sauty? + Or a living product of galvanic action, + Like the status bred in Crosses flint-solution? + Speak, thou Cyano-Rhinal! +</pre> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + BLUE-NOSE. + + Many things thou askest, jackknife-bearing stranger, + Much-conjecturing mortal, pork-and-treacle-waster! + Pretermit thy whittling, wheel thine ear-flap toward me, + Thou shalt hear them answered. + + When the charge galvanic tingled through the cable, + At the polar focus of the wire electric + Suddenly appeared a white-faced man among us + Called himself “DE SAUTY.” + + As the small opossum held in pouch maternal + Grasps the nutrient organ whence the term mammalia, + So the unknown stranger held the wire electric, + Sucking in the current. + + When the current strengthened, bloomed the pale-faced stranger, + Took no drink nor victual, yet grew fat and rosy, + And from time to time, in sharp articulation, + Said, “All right! DE SAUTY.” + + From the lonely station passed the utterance, spreading + Through the pines and hemlocks to the groves of steeples + Till the land was filled with loud reverberations + Of “All right! DE SAUTY.” + + When the current slackened, drooped the mystic stranger, + Faded, faded, faded, as the stream grew weaker, + Wasted to a shadow, with a hartshorn odor + Of disintegration. + + Drops of deliquescence glistened on his forehead, + Whitened round his feet the dust of efflorescence, + Till one Monday morning, when the flow suspended, + There was no De Sauty. + + Nothing but a cloud of elements organic, + C. O. H. N. Ferrum, Chor. Flu. Sil. Potassa, + Calc. Sod. Phosph. Mag. Sulphur, Mang.(?) Alumin.(?) Cuprum,(?) + Such as man is made of. + + Born of stream galvanic, with it he had perished! + There is no De Sauty now there is no current! + Give us a new cable, then again we'll hear him + Cry, “All right! DE SAUTY.” + </pre> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + II + </h2> + <p> + Back again!—A turtle—which means a tortoise—is fond of + his shell; but if you put a live coal on his back, he crawls out of it. So + the boys say. + </p> + <p> + It is a libel on the turtle. He grows to his shell, and his shell is in + his body as much as his body is in his shell.—I don't think there is + one of our boarders quite so testudineous as I am. Nothing but a + combination of motives, more peremptory than the coal on the turtle's + back, could have got me to leave the shelter of my carapace; and after + memorable interviews, and kindest hospitalities, and grand sights, and + huge influx of patriotic pride,—for every American owns all America,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Creation's heir,—the world, the world is” + </pre> + <p> + his, if anybody's,—I come back with the feeling which a boned turkey + might experience, if, retaining his consciousness, he were allowed to + resume his skeleton. + </p> + <p> + Welcome, O Fighting Gladiator, and Recumbent Cleopatra, and Dying Warrior, + whose classic outlines (reproduced in the calcined mineral of Lutetia) + crown my loaded shelves! Welcome, ye triumphs of pictorial art (repeated + by the magic graver) that look down upon me from the walls of my sacred + cell! Vesalius, as Titian drew him, high-fronted, still-eyed, + thick-bearded, with signet-ring, as beseems a gentleman, with book and + carelessly-held eyeglass, marking him a scholar; thou, too, Jan Kuyper, + commonly called Jan Praktiseer, old man of a century and seven years + besides, father of twenty sons and two daughters, cut in copper by + Houbraken, bought from a portfolio on one of the Paris quais; and ye Three + Trees of Rembrandt, black in shadow against the blaze of light; and thou + Rosy Cottager of Sir Joshua, roses hinted by the peppery burin of + Bartolozzi; ye, too, of lower grades in nature, yet not unlovely for + unrenowned, Young Bull of Paulus Potter, and sleeping Cat of Cornelius + Visscher; welcome once more to my eyes! The old books look out from the + shelves, and I seem to read on their backs something asides their titles,—a + kind of solemn greeting. The crimson carpet flushes warm under my feet. + The arm-chair hugs me; the swivel-chair spins round with me, as if it were + giddy with pleasure; the vast recumbent fauteuil stretches itself out + under my weight, as one joyous with food and wine stretches in + after-dinner laughter. + </p> + <p> + The boarders were pleased to say that they were glad to get me back. One + of them ventured a compliment, namely,—that I talked as if I + believed what I said.—This was apparently considered something + unusual, by its being mentioned. + </p> + <p> + One who means to talk with entire sincerity,—I said,—always + feels himself in danger of two things, namely,—an affectation of + bluntness, like that of which Cornwall accuses Kent in “Lear,” and actual + rudeness. What a man wants to do, in talking with a stranger, is to get + and to give as much of the best and most real life that belongs to the two + talkers as the time will let him. Life is short, and conversation apt to + run to mere words. Mr. Hue I think it is, who tells us some very good + stories about the way in which two Chinese gentlemen contrive to keep up a + long talk without saying a word which has any meaning in it. Something + like this is occasionally heard on this side of the Great Wall. The best + Chinese talkers I know are some pretty women whom I meet from time to + time. Pleasant, airy, complimentary, the little flakes of flattery + glimmering in their talk like the bits of gold-leaf in eau-de-vie de + Dantzic; their accents flowing on in a soft ripple,—never a wave, + and never a calm; words nicely fitted, but never a colored phrase or a + highly-flavored epithet; they turn air into syllables so gracefully, that + we find meaning for the music they make as we find faces in the coals and + fairy palaces in the clouds. There is something very odd, though, about + this mechanical talk. + </p> + <p> + You have sometimes been in a train on the railroad when the engine was + detached a long way from the station you were approaching? Well, you have + noticed how quietly and rapidly the cars kept on, just as if the + locomotive were drawing them? Indeed, you would not have suspected that + you were travelling on the strength of a dead fact, if you had not seen + the engine running away from you on a side-track. Upon my conscience, I + believe some of these pretty women detach their minds entirely, sometimes, + from their talk,—and, what is more, that we never know the + difference. Their lips let off the fluty syllables just as their fingers + would sprinkle the music-drops from their pianos; unconscious habit turns + the phrase of thought into words just as it does that of music into notes.—Well, + they govern the world for all that, these sweet-lipped women,—because + beauty is the index of a larger fact than wisdom. + </p> + <p> + —The Bombazine wanted an explanation. + </p> + <p> + Madam,—said I,—wisdom is the abstract of the past, but beauty + is the promise of the future. + </p> + <p> + —All this, however, is not what I was going to say. Here am I, + suppose, seated—we will say at a dinner-table—alongside of an + intelligent Englishman. We look in each other's faces,—we exchange a + dozen words. One thing is settled: we mean not to offend each other,—to + be perfectly courteous,—more than courteous; for we are the + entertainer and the entertained, and cherish particularly amiable + feelings, to each other. The claret is good; and if our blood reddens a + little with its warm crimson, we are none the less kind for it. + </p> + <p> + I don't think people that talk over their victuals are like to say + anything very great, especially if they get their heads muddled with + strong drink before they begin jabberin'. + </p> + <p> + The Bombazine uttered this with a sugary sourness, as if the words had + been steeped in a solution of acetate of lead.—The boys of my time + used to call a hit like this a “side-winder.” + </p> + <p> + —I must finish this woman.— + </p> + <p> + Madam,—I said,—the Great Teacher seems to have been fond of + talking as he sat at meat. Because this was a good while ago, in a far-off + place, you forget what the true fact of it was,—that those were real + dinners, where people were hungry and thirsty, and where you met a very + miscellaneous company. Probably there was a great deal of loose talk among + the guests; at any rate, there was always wine, we may believe. + </p> + <p> + Whatever may be the hygienic advantages or disadvantages of wine,—and + I for one, except for certain particular ends, believe in water, and, I + blush to say it, in black tea,—there is no doubt about its being the + grand specific against dull dinners. A score of people come together in + all moods of mind and body. The problem is, in the space of one hour, more + or less, to bring them all into the same condition of slightly exalted + life. Food alone is enough for one person, perhaps,—talk, alone, for + another; but the grand equalizer and fraternizer, which works up the + radiators to their maximum radiation, and the absorbents to their maximum + receptivity, is now just where it was when + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + The conscious water saw its Lord and blushed, +</pre> + <p> + —when six great vessels containing water, the whole amounting to + more than a hogshead-full, were changed into the best of wine. I once + wrote a song about wine, in which I spoke so warmly of it, that I was + afraid some would think it was written inter pocula; whereas it was + composed in the bosom of my family, under the most tranquillizing domestic + influences. + </p> + <p> + —The divinity-student turned towards me, looking mischievous.—Can + you tell me,—he said,—who wrote a song for a temperance + celebration once, of which the following is a verse? + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Alas for the loved one, too gentle and fair + The joys of the banquet to chasten and share! + Her eye lost its light that his goblet might shine, + And the rose of her cheek was dissolved in his wine! +</pre> + <p> + I did,—I answered.—What are you going to do about it?—I + will tell you another line I wrote long ago:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Don't be “consistent,”—but be simply true. +</pre> + <p> + The longer I live, the more I am satisfied of two things: first, that the + truest lives are those that are cut rose-diamond-fashion, with many facets + answering to the many-planed aspects of the world about them; secondly, + that society is always trying in some way or other to grind us down to a + single flat surface. It is hard work to resist this grinding-down action.—Now + give me a chance. Better eternal and universal abstinence than the + brutalities of those days that made wives and mothers and daughters and + sisters blush for those whom they should have honored, as they came + reeling home from their debauches! Yet better even excess than lying and + hypocrisy; and if wine is upon all our tables, let us praise it for its + color and fragrance and social tendency, so far as it deserves, and not + hug a bottle in the closet and pretend not to know the use of a wine-glass + at a public dinner! I think you will find that people who honestly mean to + be true really contradict themselves much more rarely than those who try + to be “consistent.” But a great many things we say can be made to appear + contradictory, simply because they are partial views of a truth, and may + often look unlike at first, as a front view of a face and its profile + often do. + </p> + <p> + Here is a distinguished divine, for whom I have great respect, for I owe + him a charming hour at one of our literary anniversaries, and he has often + spoken noble words; but he holds up a remark of my friend the “Autocrat,”—which + I grieve to say he twice misquotes, by omitting the very word which gives + it its significance,—the word fluid, intended to typify the mobility + of the restricted will,—holds it up, I say, as if it attacked the + reality of the self-determining principle, instead of illustrating its + limitations by an image. Now I will not explain any farther, still less + defend, and least of all attack, but simply quote a few lines from one of + my friend's poems, printed more than ten years ago, and ask the + distinguished gentleman where he has ever asserted more strongly or + absolutely the independent will of the “subcreative centre,” as my + heretical friend has elsewhere called man. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + —Thought, conscience, will, to make them all thy own + He rent a pillar from the eternal throne! + —Made in His image, thou must nobly dare + The thorny crown of sovereignty to share. + —Think not too meanly of thy low estate; + Thou hast a choice; to choose is to create! +</pre> + <p> + If he will look a little closely, he will see that the profile and the + full-face views of the will are both true and perfectly consistent! + </p> + <p> + Now let us come back, after this long digression, to the conversation with + the intelligent Englishman. We begin skirmishing with a few light ideas,—testing + for thoughts,—as our electro-chemical friend, De Sauty, if there + were such a person, would test for his current; trying a little + litmus-paper for acids, and then a slip of turmeric-paper for alkalies, as + chemists do with unknown compounds; flinging the lead, and looking at the + shells and sands it brings up to find out whether we are like to keep in + shallow water, or shall have to drop the deep-sea line;—in short, + seeing what we have to deal with. If the Englishman gets his H's pretty + well placed, he comes from one of the higher grades of the British social + order, and we shall find him a good companion. + </p> + <p> + But, after all, here is a great fact between us. We belong to two + different civilizations, and, until we recognize what separates us, we are + talking like Pyramus and Thisbe, without any hole in the wall to talk + through. Therefore, on the whole, if he were a superior fellow, incapable + of mistaking it for personal conceit, I think I would let out the fact of + the real American feeling about Old-World folks. They are children to us + in certain points of view. They are playing with toys we have done with + for whole-generations. + </p> + <p> + ————FOOTNOTE: The more I have observed and + reflected, the more limited seems to me the field of action of the human + will. Every act of choice involves a special relation between the ego and + the conditions before it. But no man knows what forces are at work in the + determination of his ego. The bias which decides his choice between two or + more motives may come from some unsuspected ancestral source, of which he + knows nothing at all. He is automatic in virtue of that hidden spring of + reflex action, all the time having the feeling that he is + self-determining. The Story of Elsie Yenner, written-soon after this book + was published, illustrates the direction in which my thought was moving. + 'The imaginary subject of the story obeyed her will, but her will Obeyed + the mysterious antenatal poisoning influence. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + That silly little drum they are always beating on, and the trumpet and the + feather they make so much noise and cut such a figure with, we have not + quite outgrown, but play with much less seriously and constantly than they + do. Then there is a whole museum of wigs, and masks, and lace-coats, and + gold-sticks, and grimaces, and phrases, which we laugh at honestly, + without affectation, that are still used in the Old-World puppet-shows. I + don't think we on our part ever understand the Englishman's concentrated + loyalty and specialized reverence. But then we do think more of a man, as + such, (barring some little difficulties about race and complexion which + the Englishman will touch us on presently,) than any people that ever + lived did think of him. Our reverence is a great deal wider, if it is less + intense. We have caste among us, to some extent; it is true; but there is + never a collar on the American wolf-dog such as you often see on the + English mastiff, notwithstanding his robust, hearty individuality. + </p> + <p> + This confronting of two civilizations is always a grand sensation to me; + it is like cutting through the isthmus and letting the two oceans swim + into each other's laps. The trouble is, it is so difficult to let out the + whole American nature without its self-assertion seeming to take a + personal character. But I never enjoy the Englishman so much as when he + talks of church and king like Manco Capac among the Peruvians. Then you + get the real British flavor, which the cosmopolite Englishman loses. + </p> + <p> + How much better this thorough interpenetration of ideas than a barren + interchange of courtesies, or a bush-fighting argument, in which each man + tries to cover as much of himself and expose as much of his opponent as + the tangled thicket of the disputed ground will let him! + </p> + <p> + —My thoughts flow in layers or strata, at least three deep. I follow + a slow person's talk, and keep a perfectly clear under-current of my own + beneath it. Under both runs obscurely a consciousness belonging to a third + train of reflections, independent of the two others. I will try to write + out a Mental movement in three parts. + </p> + <p> + A.—First voice, or Mental Soprano,—thought follows a woman + talking. + </p> + <p> + B.—Second voice, or Mental Barytone,—my running accompaniment. + </p> + <p> + C.—Third voice, or Mental Basso,—low grumble of importunate + self-repeating idea. + </p> + <p> + A.—White lace, three skirts, looped with flowers, wreath of + apple-blossoms, gold bracelets, diamond pin and ear-rings, the most + delicious berthe you ever saw, white satin slippers— + </p> + <p> + B.—Deuse take her! What a fool she is! Hear her chatter! (Look out + of window just here.—Two pages and a half of description, if it were + all written out, in one tenth of a second.)—Go ahead, old lady! (Eye + catches picture over fireplace.) There's that infernal family nose! Came + over in the “Mayflower” on the first old fool's face. Why don't they wear + a ring in it? + </p> + <p> + C.—You 'll be late at lecture,—late at lecture,—late,—late— + </p> + <p> + I observe that a deep layer of thought sometimes makes itself felt through + the superincumbent strata, thus:—The usual single or double currents + shall flow on, but there shall be an influence blending with them, + disturbing them in an obscure way, until all at once I say,—Oh, + there! I knew there was something troubling me,—and the thought + which had been working through comes up to the surface clear, definite, + and articulates itself,—a disagreeable duty, perhaps, or an + unpleasant recollection. + </p> + <p> + The inner world of thought and the outer world of events are alike in + this, that they are both brimful. There is no space between consecutive + thoughts, or between the never-ending series of actions. All pack tight, + and mould their surfaces against each other, so that in the long run there + is a wonderful average uniformity in the forms of both thoughts and + actions, just as you find that cylinders crowded all become hexagonal + prisms, and spheres pressed together are formed into regular polyhedra. + </p> + <p> + Every event that a man would master must be mounted on the run, and no man + ever caught the reins of a thought except as it galloped by him. So, to + carry out, with another comparison, my remark about the layers of thought, + we may consider the mind as it moves among thoughts or events, like a + circus-rider whirling round with a great troop of horses. He can mount a + fact or an idea, and guide it more or less completely, but he cannot stop + it. So, as I said in another way at the beginning, he can stride two or + three thoughts at once, but not break their steady walk, trot, or gallop. + He can only take his foot from the saddle of one thought and put it on + that of another. + </p> + <p> + —What is the saddle of a thought? Why, a word, of course.—Twenty + years after you have dismissed a thought, it suddenly wedges up to you + through the press, as if it had been steadily galloping round and round + all that time without a rider. + </p> + <p> + The will does not act in the interspaces of thought, for there are no such + interspaces, but simply steps from the back of one moving thought upon + that of another. + </p> + <p> + —I should like to ask,—said the divinity-student,—since + we are getting into metaphysics, how you can admit space, if all things + are in contact, and how you can admit time, if it is always now to + something? + </p> + <p> + —I thought it best not to hear this question. + </p> + <p> + —I wonder if you know this class of philosophers in books or + elsewhere. One of them makes his bow to the public, and exhibits an + unfortunate truth bandaged up so that it cannot stir hand or foot,—as + helpless, apparently, and unable to take care of itself, as an Egyptian + mummy. He then proceeds, with the air and method of a master, to take off + the bandages. Nothing can be neater than the way in which he does it. But + as he takes off layer after layer, the truth seems to grow smaller and + smaller, and some of its outlines begin to look like something we have + seen before. At last, when he has got them all off, and the truth struts + out naked, we recognize it as a diminutive and familiar acquaintance whom + we have known in the streets all our lives. The fact is, the philosopher + has coaxed the truth into his study and put all those bandages on; or + course it is not very hard for him to take them off. Still, a great many + people like to watch the process,—he does it so neatly! + </p> + <p> + Dear! dear! I am ashamed to write and talk, sometimes, when I see how + those functions of the large-brained, thumb-opposing plantigrade are + abused by my fellow-vertebrates,—perhaps by myself. How they spar + for wind, instead of hitting from the shoulder! + </p> + <p> + —The young fellow called John arose and placed himself in a neat + fighting attitude.—Fetch on the fellah that makes them long words!—he + said,—and planted a straight hit with the right fist in the concave + palm of the left hand with a click like a cup and ball.—You small + boy there, hurry up that “Webster's Unabridged!” + </p> + <p> + The little gentleman with the malformation, before described, shocked the + propriety of the breakfast-table by a loud utterance of three words, of + which the two last were “Webster's Unabridged,” and the first was an + emphatic monosyllable.—Beg pardon,—he added,—forgot + myself. But let us have an English dictionary, if we are to have any. I + don't believe in clipping the coin of the realm, Sir! If I put a + weathercock on my house, Sir, I want it to tell which way the wind blows + up aloft,—off from the prairies to the ocean, or off from the ocean + to the prairies, or any way it wants to blow! I don't want a weathercock + with a winch in an old gentleman's study that he can take hold of and + turn, so that the vane shall point west when the great wind overhead is + blowing east with all its might, Sir! Wait till we give you a dictionary; + Sir! It takes Boston to do that thing, Sir! + </p> + <p> + —Some folks think water can't run down-hill anywhere out of Boston, + —remarked the Koh-i-noor. + </p> + <p> + I don't know what some folks think so well as I know what some fools say,—rejoined + the Little Gentleman.—If importing most dry goods made the best + scholars, I dare say you would know where to look for 'em.—Mr. + Webster could n't spell, Sir, or would n't spell, Sir,—at any rate, + he did n't spell; and the end of it was a fight between the owners of some + copyrights and the dignity of this noble language which we have inherited + from our English fathers. Language!—the blood of the soul, Sir! into + which our thoughts run and out of which they grow! We know what a word is + worth here in Boston. Young Sam Adams got up on the stage at Commencement, + out at Cambridge there, with his gown on, the Governor and Council looking + on in the name of his Majesty, King George the Second, and the girls + looking down out of the galleries, and taught people how to spell a word + that was n't in the Colonial dictionaries! R-e, re, s-i-s, sis, t-a-n-c-e, + tance, Resistance! That was in '43, and it was a good many years before + the Boston boys began spelling it with their muskets;—but when they + did begin, they spelt it so loud that the old bedridden women in the + English almshouses heard every syllable! Yes, yes, yes,—it was a + good while before those other two Boston boys got the class so far along + that it could spell those two hard words, Independence and Union! I tell + you what, Sir, there are a thousand lives, aye, sometimes a million, go to + get a new word into a language that is worth speaking. We know what + language means too well here in Boston to play tricks with it. We never + make a new word til we have made a new thing or a new thought, Sir! then + we shaped the new mould of this continent, we had to make a few. When, by + God's permission, we abrogated the primal curse of maternity, we had to + make a word or two. The cutwater of this great Leviathan clipper, the + OCCIDENTAL,—this thirty-wasted wind-and-steam wave-crusher,—must + throw a little spray over the human vocabulary as it splits the waters of + a new world's destiny! + </p> + <p> + He rose as he spoke, until his stature seemed to swell into the fair human + proportions. His feet must have been on the upper round of his high chair; + that was the only way I could account for it. + </p> + <p> + Puts her through fast-rate,—said the young fellow whom the boarders + call John. + </p> + <p> + The venerable and kind-looking old gentleman who sits opposite said he + remembered Sam Adams as Governor. An old man in a brown coat. Saw him take + the Chair on Boston Common. Was a boy then, and remembers sitting on the + fence in front of the old Hancock house. Recollects he had a glazed + 'lectionbun, and sat eating it and looking down on to the Common. Lalocks + flowered late that year, and he got a great bunch off from the bushes in + the Hancock front-yard. + </p> + <p> + Them 'lection-buns are no go,—said the young man John, so called.—I + know the trick. Give a fellah a fo'penny bun in the mornin', an' he downs + the whole of it. In about an hour it swells up in his stomach as big as a + football, and his feedin' 's spilt for that day. That's the way to stop + off a young one from eatin' up all the 'lection dinner. + </p> + <p> + Salem! Salem! not Boston,—shouted the little man. + </p> + <p> + But the Koh-i-noor laughed a great rasping laugh, and the boy Benjamin + Franklin looked sharp at his mother, as if he remembered the + bun-experiment as a part of his past personal history. + </p> + <p> + The Little Gentleman was holding a fork in his left hand. He stabbed a + boulder of home-made bread with it, mechanically, and looked at it as if + it ought to shriek. It did not,—but he sat as if watching it. + </p> + <p> + —Language is a solemn thing,—I said.—It grows out of + life,—out of its agonies and ecstasies, its wants and its weariness. + Every language is a temple, in which the soul of those who speak it is + enshrined. Because time softens its outlines and rounds the sharp angles + of its cornices, shall a fellow take a pickaxe to help time? Let me tell + you what comes of meddling with things that can take care of themselves.—A + friend of mine had a watch given him, when he was a boy,—a “bull's + eye,” with a loose silver case that came off like an oyster-shell from its + contents; you know them,—the cases that you hang on your thumb, + while the core, or the real watch, lies in your hand as naked as a peeled + apple. Well, he began with taking off the case, and so on from one liberty + to another, until he got it fairly open, and there were the works, as good + as if they were alive,—crown-wheel, balance-wheel, and all the rest. + All right except one thing,—there was a confounded little hair had + got tangled round the balance-wheel. So my young Solomon got a pair of + tweezers, and caught hold of the hair very nicely, and pulled it right + out, without touching any of the wheels,—when,—buzzzZZZ! and + the watch had done up twenty-four hours in double magnetic-telegraph time!—The + English language was wound up to run some thousands of years, I trust; but + if everybody is to be pulling at everything he thinks is a hair, our + grandchildren will have to make the discovery that it is a hair-spring, + and the old Anglo-Norman soul's-timekeeper will run down, as so many other + dialects have done before it. I can't stand this meddling any better than + you, Sir. But we have a great deal to be proud of in the lifelong labors + of that old lexicographer, and we must n't be ungrateful. Besides, don't + let us deceive ourselves,—the war of the dictionaries is only a + disguised rivalry of cities, colleges, and especially of publishers. After + all, it is likely that the language will shape itself by larger forces + than phonography and dictionary-making. You may spade up the ocean as much + as you like, and harrow it afterwards, if you can,—but the moon will + still lead the tides, and the winds will form their surface. + </p> + <p> + —Do you know Richardson's Dictionary?—I said to my neighbor + the divinity-student. + </p> + <p> + Haow?—said the divinity-student.—He colored, as he noticed on + my face a twitch in one of the muscles which tuck up the corner of the + mouth, (zygomaticus major,) and which I could not hold back from making a + little movement on its own account. + </p> + <p> + It was too late.—A country-boy, lassoed when he was a half-grown + colt. Just as good as a city-boy, and in some ways, perhaps, better,—but + caught a little too old not to carry some marks of his earlier ways of + life. Foreigners, who have talked a strange tongue half their lives, + return to the language of their childhood in their dying hours. Gentlemen + in fine linen, and scholars in large libraries, taken by surprise, or in a + careless moment, will sometimes let slip a word they knew as boys in + homespun and have not spoken since that time,—but it lay there under + all their culture. That is one way you may know the country-boys after + they have grown rich or celebrated; another is by the odd old family + names, particularly those of the Hebrew prophets, which the good old + people have saddled them with. + </p> + <p> + —Boston has enough of England about it to make a good English + dictionary,—said that fresh-looking youth whom I have mentioned as + sitting at the right upper corner of the table. + </p> + <p> + I turned and looked him full in the face,—for the pure, manly + intonations arrested me. The voice was youthful, but full of character.—I + suppose some persons have a peculiar susceptibility in the matter of + voice.—Hear this. + </p> + <p> + Not long after the American Revolution, a young lady was sitting in her + father's chaise in a street of this town of Boston. She overheard a little + girl talking or singing, and was mightily taken with the tones of her + voice. Nothing would satisfy her but she must have that little girl come + and live in her father's house. So the child came, being then nine years + old. Until her marriage she remained under the same roof with the young + lady. Her children became successively inmates of the lady's dwelling; and + now, seventy years, or thereabouts, since the young lady heard the child + singing, one of that child's children and one of her grandchildren are + with her in that home, where she, no longer young, except in heart, passes + her peaceful days.—Three generations linked together by so light a + breath of accident! + </p> + <p> + I liked—the sound of this youth's voice, I said, and his look when I + came to observe him a little more closely. His complexion had something + better than the bloom and freshness which had first attracted me;—it + had that diffused tone which is a sure index of wholesome, lusty life. A + fine liberal style of nature seemed to be: hair crisped, moustache + springing thick and dark, head firmly planted, lips finished, as is + commonly sees them in gentlemen's families, a pupil well contracted, and a + mouth that opened frankly with a white flash of teeth that looked as if + they could serve him as they say Ethan Allen's used to serve their owner,—to + draw nails with. This is the kind of fellow to walk a frigate's deck and + bowl his broadsides into the “Gadlant Thudnder-bomb,” or any + forty-port-holed adventurer who would like to exchange a few tons of iron + compliments.—I don't know what put this into my head, for it was not + till some time afterward I learned the young fellow had been in the naval + school at Annapolis. Something had happened to change his plan of life, + and he was now studying engineering and architecture in Boston. + </p> + <p> + When the youth made the short remark which drew my attention to him, the + little deformed gentleman turned round and took a long look at him. + </p> + <p> + Good for the Boston boy!—he said. + </p> + <p> + I am not a Boston boy,—said the youth, smiling,—I am a + Marylander. + </p> + <p> + I don't care where you come from,—we'll make a Boston man of you,—said + the little gentleman. Pray, what part of Maryland did you come from, and + how shall I call you? + </p> + <p> + The poor youth had to speak pretty loud, as he was at the right upper + corner of the table, and the little gentleman next the lower left-hand + corner. His face flushed a little, but he answered pleasantly, telling who + he was, as if the little man's infirmity gave him a right to ask any + questions he wanted to. + </p> + <p> + Here is the place for you to sit,—said the little gentleman, + pointing to the vacant chair next his own, at the corner. + </p> + <p> + You're go'n' to have a young lady next you, if you wait till to-morrow,—said + the landlady to him. + </p> + <p> + He did not reply, but I had a fancy that he changed color. It can't be + that he has susceptibilities with reference to a contingent young lady! It + can't be that he has had experiences which make him sensitive! Nature + could not be quite so cruel as to set a heart throbbing in that poor + little cage of ribs! There is no use in wasting notes of admiration. I + must ask the landlady about him. + </p> + <p> + These are some of the facts she furnished.—Has not been long with + her. Brought a sight of furniture,—could n't hardly get some of it + upstairs. Has n't seemed particularly attentive to the ladies. The + Bombazine (whom she calls Cousin something or other) has tried to enter + into conversation with him, but retired with the impression that he was + indifferent to ladies' society. Paid his bill the other day without saying + a word about it. Paid it in gold,—had a great heap of twenty-dollar + pieces. Hires her best room. Thinks he is a very nice little man, but + lives dreadful lonely up in his chamber. Wants the care of some capable + nuss. Never pitied anybody more in her life—never see a more + interestin' person. + </p> + <p> + —My intention was, when I began making these notes, to let them + consist principally of conversations between myself and the other + boarders. So they will, very probably; but my curiosity is excited about + this little boarder of ours, and my reader must not be disappointed, if I + sometimes interrupt a discussion to give an account of whatever fact or + traits I may discover about him. It so happens that his room is next to + mine, and I have the opportunity of observing many of his ways without any + active movements of curiosity. That his room contains heavy furniture, + that he is a restless little body and is apt to be up late, that he talks + to himself, and keeps mainly to himself, is nearly all I have yet found + out. + </p> + <p> + One curious circumstance happened lately which I mention without drawing + an absolute inference. Being at the studio of a sculptor with whom I am + acquainted, the other day, I saw a remarkable cast of a left arm. On my + asking where the model came from, he said it was taken direct from the arm + of a deformed person, who had employed one of the Italian moulders to make + the cast. It was a curious case, it should seem, of one beautiful limb + upon a frame otherwise singularly imperfect—I have repeatedly + noticed this little gentleman's use of his left arm. Can he have furnished + the model I saw at the sculptor's? + </p> + <p> + —So we are to have a new boarder to-morrow. I hope there will be + something pretty and pleasing about her. A woman with a creamy voice, and + finished in alto rilievo, would be a variety in the boarding-house,—a + little more marrow and a little less sinew than our landlady and her + daughter and the bombazine-clad female, all of whom are of the + turkey-drumstick style of organization. I don't mean that these are our + only female companions; but the rest being conversational non-combatants, + mostly still, sad feeders, who take in their food as locomotives take in + wood and water, and then wither away from the table like blossoms that + never came to fruit, I have not yet referred to them as individuals. + </p> + <p> + I wonder what kind of young person we shall see in that empty chair + to-morrow! + </p> + <p> + —I read this song to the boarders after breakfast the other morning. + It was written for our fellows;—you know who they are, of course. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + THE BOYS. + + Has there any old fellow got mixed with the boys? + If there has, take him out, without making a noise! + Hang the Almanac's cheat and the Catalogue's spite! + Old Time is a liar! We're twenty to-night! + + We're twenty! We're twenty! Who says we are more? + He's tipsy,—young jackanapes!—show him the door! + —“Gray temples at twenty?”—Yes! white, if we please; + Where the snow-flakes fall thickest there's nothing can freeze! + + Was it snowing I spoke of? Excuse the mistake! + Look close,—you will see not a sign of a flake; + We want some new garlands for those we have shed, + And these are white roses in place of the red! + + We've a trick, we young fellows, you may have been told. + Of talking (in public) as if we were old; + That boy we call Doctor, (1) and this we call Judge (2) + —It's a neat little fiction,—of course it's all fudge. + + That fellow's the Speaker, (3)—the one on the right; + Mr. Mayor, (4) my young one, how are you to-night? + That's our “Member of Congress,“ (5) we say when we chaff; + There's the “Reverend” (6) What's his name?—don't make me laugh! + + That boy with the grave mathematical look(7) + Made believe he had written a wonderful book, + And the ROYAL SOCIETY thought it was true! + So they chose him right in; a good joke it was, too. + + There's a boy,—we pretend,—with a three-decker-brain + That could harness a team with a logical chain: + When he spoke for our manhood in syllabled fire, + We called him “The Justice,”—but now he's “The Squire.“ (1) + + And there's a nice youngster of excellent pith,(2) + Fate tried to conceal him by naming him Smith, + But he shouted a song for the brave and the free, + —Just read on his medal,—“My country,—of thee!” + + You hear that boy laughing?—you think he's all fun, + But the angels laugh, too, at the good he has done; + The children laugh loud as they troop to his call, + And the poor man that knows him laughs loudest of all!(3) + + Yes, we're boys,—always playing with tongue or with pen, + —And I sometimes have asked,—Shall we ever be men? + Shall we always be youthful and laughing and gay, + Till the last dear companion drops smiling away? + + Then here's to our boyhood, its gold and its gray! + The stars of its Winter, the dews of its May! + And when we have done with our life-lasting toys, + Dear Father, take care of thy children, the Boys! + + 1 Francis Thomas. + 2 George Tyler Bigelow. + 3 Francis Boardman Crowninshield. + 4 G. W. Richardson. + 5 George Thomas Davis. + 6 James Freeman Clarke. + 7 Benjamin Peirce. +</pre> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + III + </h2> + <h3> + [The Professor talks with the Reader. He tells a Young Girl's Story.] + </h3> + <p> + When the elements that went to the making of the first man, father of + mankind, had been withdrawn from the world of unconscious matter, the + balance of creation was disturbed. The materials that go to the making of + one woman were set free by the abstraction from inanimate nature of one + man's-worth of masculine constituents. These combined to make our first + mother, by a logical necessity involved in the previous creation of our + common father. All this, mythically, illustratively, and by no means + doctrinally or polemically. + </p> + <p> + The man implies the woman, you will understand. The excellent gentleman + whom I had the pleasure of setting right in a trifling matter a few weeks + ago believes in the frequent occurrence of miracles at the present day. So + do I. I believe, if you could find an uninhabited coral-reef island, in + the middle of the Pacific Ocean, with plenty of cocoa-palms and + bread-fruit on it, and put a handsome young fellow, like our Marylander, + ashore upon it, if you touched there a year afterwards, you would find him + walking under the palm-trees arm in arm with a pretty woman. + </p> + <p> + Where would she come from? + </p> + <p> + Oh, that 's the miracle! + </p> + <p> + —I was just as certain, when I saw that fine, high-colored youth at + the upper right-hand corner of our table, that there would appear some + fitting feminine counterpart to him, as if I had been a clairvoyant, + seeing it all beforehand. + </p> + <p> + —I have a fancy that those Marylanders are just about near enough to + the sun to ripen well.—How some of us fellows remember Joe and + Harry, Baltimoreans, both! Joe, with his cheeks like lady-apples, and his + eyes like black-heart cherries, and his teeth like the whiteness of the + flesh of cocoanuts, and his laugh that set the chandelier-drops rattling + overhead, as we sat at our sparkling banquets in those gay times! Harry, + champion, by acclamation, of the college heavy-weights, broad-shouldered, + bull-necked, square-jawed, six feet and trimmings, a little science, lots + of pluck, good-natured as a steer in peace, formidable as a red-eyed bison + in the crack of hand-to-hand battle! Who forgets the great muster-day, and + the collision of the classic with the democratic forces? The huge butcher, + fifteen stone,—two hundred and ten pounds,—good weight,—steps + out like Telamonian Ajax, defiant. No words from Harry, the Baltimorean,—one + of the quiet sort, who strike first; and do the talking, if there is any, + afterwards. No words, but, in the place thereof, a clean, straight, hard + hit, which took effect with a spank like the explosion of a + percussion-cap, knocking the slayer of beeves down a sand-bank,—followed, + alas! by the too impetuous youth, so that both rolled down together, and + the conflict terminated in one of those inglorious and inevitable Yankee + clinches, followed by a general melee, which make our native fistic + encounters so different from such admirably-ordered contests as that which + I once saw at an English fair, where everything was done decently and in + order; and the fight began and ended with such grave propriety, that a + sporting parson need hardly have hesitated to open it with a devout + petition, and, after it was over, dismiss the ring with a benediction. + </p> + <p> + I can't help telling one more story about this great field-day, though it + is the most wanton and irrelevant digression. But all of us have a little + speck of fight underneath our peace and good-will to men, just a speck, + for revolutions and great emergencies, you know,—so that we should + not submit to be trodden quite flat by the first heavy-heeled aggressor + that came along. You can tell a portrait from an ideal head, I suppose, + and a true story from one spun out of the writer's invention. See whether + this sounds true or not. + </p> + <p> + Admiral Sir Isaac Coffin sent out two fine blood-horses, Barefoot and + Serab by name, to Massachusetts, something before the time I am talking + of. With them came a Yorkshire groom, a stocky little fellow, in velvet + breeches, who made that mysterious hissing noise, traditionary in English + stables, when he rubbed down the silken-skinned racers, in great + perfection. After the soldiers had come from the muster-field, and some of + the companies were on the village-common, there was still some skirmishing + between a few individuals who had not had the fight taken out of them. The + little Yorkshire groom thought he must serve out somebody. So he threw + himself into an approved scientific attitude, and, in brief, emphatic + language, expressed his urgent anxiety to accommodate any classical young + gentleman who chose to consider himself a candidate for his attentions. I + don't suppose there were many of the college boys that would have been a + match for him in the art which Englishmen know so much more of than + Americans, for the most part. However, one of the Sophomores, a very + quiet, peaceable fellow, just stepped out of the crowd, and, running + straight at the groom, as he stood there, sparring away, struck him with + the sole of his foot, a straight blow, as if it had been with his fist, + and knocked him heels over head and senseless, so that he had to be + carried off from the field. This ugly way of hitting is the great trick of + the French gavate, which is not commonly thought able to stand its ground + against English pugilistic science. These are old recollections, with not + much to recommend them, except, perhaps, a dash of life, which may be + worth a little something. + </p> + <p> + The young Marylander brought them all up, you may remember. He recalled to + my mind those two splendid pieces of vitality I told you of. Both have + been long dead. How often we see these great red-flaring flambeaux of life + blown out, as it were, by a puff of wind,—and the little, + single-wicked night-lamp of being, which some white-faced and attenuated + invalid shades with trembling fingers, flickering on while they go out one + after another, until its glimmer is all that is left to us of the + generation to which it belonged! + </p> + <p> + I told you that I was perfectly sure, beforehand, we should find some + pleasing girlish or womanly shape to fill the blank at our table and match + the dark-haired youth at the upper corner. + </p> + <p> + There she sits, at the very opposite corner, just as far off as accident + could put her from this handsome fellow, by whose side she ought, of + course, to be sitting. One of the “positive” blondes, as my friend, you + may remember, used to call them. Tawny-haired, amber-eyed, full-throated, + skin as white as a blanched almond. Looks dreamy to me, not + self-conscious, though a black ribbon round her neck sets it off as a + Marie-Antoinette's diamond-necklace could not do. So in her dress, there + is a harmony of tints that looks as if an artist had run his eye over her + and given a hint or two like the finishing touch to a picture. I can't + help being struck with her, for she is at once rounded and fine in + feature, looks calm, as blondes are apt to, and as if she might run wild, + if she were trifled with. It is just as I knew it would be,—and + anybody can see that our young Marylander will be dead in love with her in + a week. + </p> + <p> + Then if that little man would only turn out immensely rich and have the + good-nature to die and leave them all his money, it would be as nice as a + three-volume novel. + </p> + <p> + The Little Gentleman is in a flurry, I suspect, with the excitement of + having such a charming neighbor next him. I judge so mainly by his silence + and by a certain rapt and serious look on his face, as if he were thinking + of something that had happened, or that might happen, or that ought to + happen,—or how beautiful her young life looked, or how hardly Nature + had dealt with him, or something which struck him silent, at any rate. I + made several conversational openings for him, but he did not fire up as he + often does. I even went so far as to indulge in, a fling at the State + House, which, as we all know, is in truth a very imposing structure, + covering less ground than St. Peter's, but of similar general effect. The + little man looked up, but did not reply to my taunt. He said to the young + lady, however, that the State House was the Parthenon of our Acropolis, + which seemed to please her, for she smiled, and he reddened a little,—so + I thought. I don't think it right to watch persons who are the subjects of + special infirmity,—but we all do it. + </p> + <p> + I see that they have crowded the chairs a little at that end of the table, + to make room for another newcomer of the lady sort. A well-mounted, + middle-aged preparation, wearing her hair without a cap, —pretty + wide in the parting, though,—contours vaguely hinted, —features + very quiet,—says little as yet, but seems to keep her eye on the + young lady, as if having some responsibility for her My record is a blank + for some days after this. In the mean time I have contrived to make out + the person and the story of our young lady, who, according to appearances, + ought to furnish us a heroine for a boarding-house romance before a year + is out. It is very curious that she should prove connected with a person + many of us have heard of. Yet, curious as it is, I have been a hundred + times struck with the circumstance that the most remote facts are + constantly striking each other; just as vessels starting from ports + thousands of miles apart pass close to each other in the naked breadth of + the ocean, nay, sometimes even touch, in the dark, with a crack of + timbers, a gurgling of water, a cry of startled sleepers,—a cry + mysteriously echoed in warning dreams, as the wife of some Gloucester + fisherman, some coasting skipper, wakes with a shriek, calls the name of + her husband, and sinks back to uneasy slumbers upon her lonely pillow,—a + widow. + </p> + <p> + Oh, these mysterious meetings! Leaving all the vague, waste, endless + spaces of the washing desert, the ocean-steamer and the fishing-smack sail + straight towards each other as if they ran in grooves ploughed for them in + the waters from the beginning of creation! Not only things and events, but + our own thoughts, are so full of these surprises, that, if there were a + reader in my parish who did not recognize the familiar occurrence of what + I am now going to mention, I should think it a case for the missionaries + of the Society for the Propagation of Intelligence among the Comfortable + Classes. There are about as many twins in the births of thought as of + children. For the first time in your lives you learn some fact or come + across some idea. Within an hour, a day, a week, that same fact or idea + strikes you from another quarter. It seems as if it had passed into space + and bounded back upon you as an echo from the blank wall that shuts in the + world of thought. Yet no possible connection exists between the two + channels by which the thought or the fact arrived. Let me give an + infinitesimal illustration. + </p> + <p> + One of the Boys mentioned, the other evening, in the course of a very + pleasant poem he read us, a little trick of the Commons-table boarders, + which I, nourished at the parental board, had never heard of. Young + fellows being always hungry—Allow me to stop dead-short, in order to + utter an aphorism which has been forming itself in one of the blank + interior spaces of my intelligence, like a crystal in the cavity of a + geode. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Aphorism by the Professor. +</pre> + <p> + In order to know whether a human being is young or old, offer it food of + different kinds at short intervals. If young, it will eat anything at any + hour of the day or night. If old, it observes stated periods, and you + might as well attempt to regulate the time of highwater to suit a + fishing-party as to change these periods. The crucial experiment is this. + Offer a bulky and boggy bun to the suspected individual just ten minutes + before dinner. If this is eagerly accepted and devoured, the fact of youth + is established. If the subject of the question starts back and expresses + surprise and incredulity, as if you could not possibly be in earnest, the + fact of maturity is no less clear. + </p> + <p> + —Excuse me,—I return to my story of the Commons-table.—Young + fellows being always hungry, and tea and dry toast being the meagre fare + of the evening meal, it was a trick of some of the Boys to impale a slice + of meat upon a fork, at dinner-time, and stick the fork holding it beneath + the table, so that they could get it at tea-time. The dragons that guarded + this table of the Hesperides found out the trick at last, and kept a sharp + look-out for missing forks;—they knew where to find one, if it was + not in its place.—Now the odd thing was, that, after waiting so many + years to hear of this college trick, I should hear it mentioned a second + time within the same twenty-four hours by a college youth of the present + generation. Strange, but true. And so it has happened to me and to every + person, often and often, to be hit in rapid succession by these twinned + facts or thoughts, as if they were linked like chain-shot. + </p> + <p> + I was going to leave the simple reader to wonder over this, taking it as + an unexplained marvel. I think, however, I will turn over a furrow of + subsoil in it.—The explanation is, of course, that in a great many + thoughts there must be a few coincidences, and these instantly arrest our + attention. Now we shall probably never have the least idea of the enormous + number of impressions which pass through our consciousness, until in some + future life we see the photographic record of our thoughts and the + stereoscopic picture of our actions. There go more pieces to make up a + conscious life or a living body than you think for. Why, some of you were + surprised when a friend of mine told you there were fifty-eight separate + pieces in a fiddle. How many “swimming glands”—solid, organized, + regularly formed, rounded disks taking an active part in all your vital + processes, part and parcel, each one of them, of your corporeal being—do + you suppose are whirled along, like pebbles in a stream, with the blood + which warms your frame and colors your cheeks?—A noted German + physiologist spread out a minute drop of blood, under the microscope, in + narrow streaks, and counted the globules, and then made a calculation. The + counting by the micrometer took him a week.—You have, my full-grown + friend, of these little couriers in crimson or scarlet livery, running on + your vital errands day and night as long as you live, sixty-five billions, + five hundred and seventy thousand millions. Errors excepted.—Did I + hear some gentleman say, “Doubted? “—I am the Professor. I sit in my + chair with a petard under it that will blow me through the skylight of my + lecture-room, if I do not know what I am talking about and whom I am + quoting. + </p> + <p> + Now, my dear friends, who are putting your hands to your foreheads, and + saying to yourselves that you feel a little confused, as if you had been + waltzing until things began to whirl slightly round you, is it possible + that you do not clearly apprehend the exact connection of all that I have + been saying, and its bearing on what is now to come? Listen, then. The + number of these living elements in our bodies illustrates the incalculable + multitude of our thoughts; the number of our thoughts accounts for those + frequent coincidences spoken of; these coincidences in the world of + thought illustrate those which we constantly observe in the world of + outward events, of which the presence of the young girl now at our table, + and proving to be the daughter of an old acquaintance some of us may + remember, is the special example which led me through this labyrinth of + reflections, and finally lands me at the commencement of this young girl's + story, which, as I said, I have found the time and felt the interest to + learn something of, and which I think I can tell without wronging the + unconscious subject of my brief delineation. IRIS. + </p> + <p> + You remember, perhaps, in some papers published awhile ago, an odd poem + written by an old Latin tutor? He brought up at the verb amo, I love, as + all of us do, and by and by Nature opened her great living dictionary for + him at the word filia, a daughter. The poor man was greatly perplexed in + choosing a name for her. Lucretia and Virginia were the first that he + thought of; but then came up those pictured stories of Titus Livius, which + he could never read without crying, though he had read them a hundred + times. + </p> + <p> + —Lucretia sending for her husband and her father, each to bring one + friend with him, and awaiting them in her chamber. To them her wrongs + briefly. Let them see to the wretch,—she will take care of herself. + Then the hidden knife flashes out and sinks into her heart. She slides + from her seat, and falls dying. “Her husband and her father cry aloud.”—No, + not Lucretia. + </p> + <p> + -Virginius,—a brown old soldier, father of a nice girl. She engaged + to a very promising young man. Decemvir Appius takes a violent fancy to + her,—must have her at any rate. Hires a lawyer to present the + arguments in favor of the view that she was another man's daughter. There + used to be lawyers in Rome that would do such things.—All right. + There are two sides to everything. Audi alteram partem. The legal + gentleman has no opinion,—he only states the evidence.—A + doubtful case. Let the young lady be under the protection of the Honorable + Decemvir until it can be looked up thoroughly.—Father thinks it + best, on the whole, to give in. Will explain the matter, if the young lady + and her maid will step this way. That is the explanation,—a stab + with a butcher's knife, snatched from a stall, meant for other lambs than + this poor bleeding Virginia. + </p> + <p> + The old man thought over the story. Then he must have one look at the + original. So he took down the first volume and read it over. When he came + to that part where it tells how the young gentleman she was engaged to and + a friend of his took up the poor girl's bloodless shape and carried it + through the street, and how all the women followed, wailing, and asking if + that was what their daughters were coming to,—if that was what they + were to get for being good girls,—he melted down into his accustomed + tears of pity and grief, and, through them all, of delight at the charming + Latin of the narrative. But it was impossible to call his child Virginia. + He could never look at her without thinking she had a knife sticking in + her bosom. + </p> + <p> + Dido would be a good name, and a fresh one. She was a queen, and the + founder of a great city. Her story had been immortalized by the greatest + of poets,—for the old Latin tutor clove to “Virgilius Maro,” as he + called him, as closely as ever Dante did in his memorable journey. So he + took down his Virgil, it was the smooth-leafed, open-lettered quarto of + Baskerville,—and began reading the loves and mishaps of Dido. It + would n't do. A lady who had not learned discretion by experience, and + came to an evil end. He shook his head, as he sadly repeated, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “—misera ante diem, subitoque accensa furore;” + </pre> + <p> + but when he came to the lines, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Ergo Iris croceis per coelum roscida pennis + Mille trahens varios adverso Sole colores,” + </pre> + <p> + he jumped up with a great exclamation, which the particular recording + angel who heard it pretended not to understand, or it might have gone hard + with the Latin tutor some time or other. + </p> + <p> + “Iris shall be her name!”—he said. So her name was Iris. + </p> + <p> + —The natural end of a tutor is to perish by starvation. It is only a + question of time, just as with the burning of college libraries. These all + burn up sooner or later, provided they are not housed in brick or stone + and iron. I don't mean that you will see in the registry of deaths that + this or that particular tutor died of well-marked, uncomplicated + starvation. They may, even, in extreme cases, be carried off by a thin, + watery kind of apoplexy, which sounds very well in the returns, but means + little to those who know that it is only debility settling on the head. + Generally, however, they fade and waste away under various pretexts,—calling + it dyspepsia, consumption, and so on, to put a decent appearance upon the + case and keep up the credit of the family and the institution where they + have passed through the successive stages of inanition. + </p> + <p> + In some cases it takes a great many years to kill a tutor by the process + in question. You see they do get food and clothes and fuel, in appreciable + quantities, such as they are. You will even notice rows of books in their + rooms, and a picture or two,—things that look as if they had surplus + money; but these superfluities are the water of crystallization to + scholars, and you can never get them away till the poor fellows effloresce + into dust. Do not be deceived. The tutor breakfasts on coffee made of + beans, edulcorated with milk watered to the verge of transparency; his + mutton is tough and elastic, up to the moment when it becomes tired out + and tasteless; his coal is a sullen, sulphurous anthracite, which rusts + into ashes, rather than burns, in the shallow grate; his flimsy broadcloth + is too thin for winter and too thick for summer. The greedy lungs of fifty + hot-blooded boys suck the oxygen from the air he breathes in his + recitation-room. In short, he undergoes a process of gentle and gradual + starvation. + </p> + <p> + —The mother of little Iris was not called Electra, like hers of the + old story, neither was her grandfather Oceanus. Her blood-name, which she + gave away with her heart to the Latin tutor, was a plain old English one, + and her water-name was Hannah, beautiful as recalling the mother of + Samuel, and admirable as reading equally well from the initial letter + forwards and from the terminal letter backwards. The poor lady, seated + with her companion at the chessboard of matrimony, had but just pushed + forward her one little white pawn upon an empty square, when the Black + Knight, that cares nothing for castles or kings or queens, swooped down + upon her and swept her from the larger board of life. + </p> + <p> + The old Latin tutor put a modest blue stone at the head of his late + companion, with her name and age and Eheu! upon it,—a smaller one at + her feet, with initials; and left her by herself, to be rained and snowed + on,—which is a hard thing to do for those whom we have cherished + tenderly. + </p> + <p> + About the time that the lichens, falling on the stone, like drops of + water, had spread into fair, round rosettes, the tutor had starved into a + slight cough. Then he began to draw the buckle of his black trousers a + little tighter, and took in another reef in his never-ample waistcoat. His + temples got a little hollow, and the contrasts of color in his cheeks more + vivid than of old. After a while his walks fatigued him, and he was tired, + and breathed hard after going up a flight or two of stairs. Then came on + other marks of inward trouble and general waste, which he spoke of to his + physician as peculiar, and doubtless owing to accidental causes; to all + which the doctor listened with deference, as if it had not been the old + story that one in five or six of mankind in temperate climates tells, or + has told for him, as if it were something new. As the doctor went out, he + said to himself,—“On the rail at last. Accommodation train. A good + many stops, but will get to the station by and by.” So the doctor wrote a + recipe with the astrological sign of Jupiter before it, (just as your own + physician does, inestimable reader, as you will see, if you look at his + next prescription,) and departed, saying he would look in occasionally. + After this, the Latin tutor began the usual course of “getting better,” + until he got so much better that his face was very sharp, and when he + smiled, three crescent lines showed at each side of his lips, and when he + spoke; it was in a muffled whisper, and the white of his eye glistened as + pearly as the purest porcelain, —so much better, that he hoped—by + spring—he—might be able—to—attend———to + his class again.—But he was recommended not to expose himself, and + so kept his chamber, and occasionally, not having anything to do, his bed. + The unmarried sister with whom he lived took care of him; and the child, + now old enough to be manageable and even useful in trifling offices, sat + in the chamber, or played, about. + </p> + <p> + Things could not go on so forever, of course. One morning his face was + sunken and his hands were very, very cold. He was “better,” he whispered, + but sadly and faintly. After a while he grew restless and seemed a little + wandering. His mind ran on his classics, and fell back on the Latin + grammar. + </p> + <p> + “Iris!” he said,—“filiola mea!”—The child knew this meant my + dear little daughter as well as if it had been English.—“Rainbow!” + for he would translate her name at times,—“come to me,—veni”—and + his lips went on automatically, and murmured, “vel venito!”—The + child came and sat by his bedside and took his hand, which she could not + warm, but which shot its rays of cold all through her slender frame. But + there she sat, looking steadily at him. Presently he opened his lips + feebly, and whispered, “Moribundus.” She did not know what that meant, but + she saw that there was something new and sad. So she began to cry; but + presently remembering an old book that seemed to comfort him at times, got + up and brought a Bible in the Latin version, called the Vulgate. “Open + it,” he said,—“I will read, segnius irritant,—don't put the + light out,—ah! hoeret lateri,—I am going,—vale, vale, + vale, goodbye, good-bye,—the Lord take care of my child! Domine, + audi—vel audito!” His face whitened suddenly, and he lay still, with + open eyes and mouth. He had taken his last degree. + </p> + <p> + —Little Miss Iris could not be said to begin life with a very + brilliant rainbow over her, in a worldly point of view. A limited wardrobe + of man's attire, such as poor tutors wear,—a few good books, + principally classics,—a print or two, and a plaster model of the + Pantheon, with some pieces of furniture which had seen service,—these, + and a child's heart full of tearful recollections and strange doubts and + questions, alternating with the cheap pleasures which are the anodynes of + childish grief; such were the treasures she inherited.—No,—I + forgot. With that kindly sentiment which all of us feel for old men's + first children,—frost-flowers of the early winter season, the old + tutor's students had remembered him at a time when he was laughing and + crying with his new parental emotions, and running to the side of the + plain crib in which his alter egg, as he used to say, was swinging, to + hang over the little heap of stirring clothes, from which looked the + minute, red, downy, still, round face, with unfixed eyes and working lips,—in + that unearthly gravity which has never yet been broken by a smile, and + which gives to the earliest moon-year or two of an infant's life the + character of a first old age, to counterpoise that second childhood which + there is one chance in a dozen it may reach by and by. The boys had + remembered the old man and young father at that tender period of his hard, + dry life. There came to him a fair, silver goblet, embossed with classical + figures, and bearing on a shield the graver words, Ex dono pupillorum. The + handle on its side showed what use the boys had meant it for; and a kind + letter in it, written with the best of feeling, in the worst of Latin, + pointed delicately to its destination. Out of this silver vessel, after a + long, desperate, strangling cry, which marked her first great lesson in + the realities of life, the child took the blue milk, such as poor tutors + and their children get, tempered with water, and sweetened a little, so as + to bring it nearer the standard established by the touching indulgence and + partiality of Nature,—who had mingled an extra allowance of sugar in + the blameless food of the child at its mother's breast, as compared with + that of its infant brothers and sisters of the bovine race. + </p> + <p> + But a willow will grow in baked sand wet with rainwater. An air-plant will + grow by feeding on the winds. Nay, those huge forests that overspread + great continents have built themselves up mainly from the air-currents + with which they are always battling. The oak is but a foliated atmospheric + crystal deposited from the aerial ocean that holds the future vegetable + world in solution. The storm that tears its leaves has paid tribute to its + strength, and it breasts the tornado clad in the spoils of a hundred + hurricanes. + </p> + <p> + Poor little Iris! What had she in common with the great oak in the shadow + of which we are losing sight of her?—She lived and grew like that,—this + was all. The blue milk ran into her veins and filled them with thin, pure + blood. Her skin was fair, with a faint tinge, such as the white rosebud + shows before it opens. The doctor who had attended her father was afraid + her aunt would hardly be able to “raise” her,—“delicate child,”—hoped + she was not consumptive,—thought there was a fair chance she would + take after her father. + </p> + <p> + A very forlorn-looking person, dressed in black, with a white neckcloth, + sent her a memoir of a child who died at the age of two years and eleven + months, after having fully indorsed all the doctrines of the particular + persuasion to which he not only belonged himself, but thought it very + shameful that everybody else did not belong. What with foreboding looks + and dreary death-bed stories, it was a wonder the child made out to live + through it. It saddened her early years, of course,—it distressed + her tender soul with thoughts which, as they cannot be fully taken in, + should be sparingly used as instruments of torture to break down the + natural cheerfulness of a healthy child, or, what is infinitely worse, to + cheat a dying one out of the kind illusions with which the Father of All + has strewed its downward path. + </p> + <p> + The child would have died, no doubt, and, if properly managed, might have + added another to the long catalogue of wasting children who have been as + cruelly played upon by spiritual physiologists, often with the best + intentions, as ever the subject of a rare disease by the curious students + of science. + </p> + <p> + Fortunately for her, however, a wise instinct had guided the late Latin + tutor in the selection of the partner of his life, and the future mother + of his child. The deceased tutoress was a tranquil, smooth woman, easily + nourished, as such people are,—a quality which is inestimable in a + tutor's wife,—and so it happened that the daughter inherited enough + vitality from the mother to live through childhood and infancy and fight + her way towards womanhood, in spite of the tendencies she derived from her + other parent. + </p> + <p> + —Two and two do not always make four, in this matter of hereditary + descent of qualities. Sometimes they make three, and sometimes five. It + seems as if the parental traits at one time showed separate, at another + blended,—that occasionally, the force of two natures is represented + in the derivative one by a diagonal of greater value than either original + line of living movement,—that sometimes there is a loss of vitality + hardly to be accounted for, and again a forward impulse of variable + intensity in some new and unforeseen direction. + </p> + <p> + So it was with this child. She had glanced off from her parental + probabilities at an unexpected angle. Instead of taking to classical + learning like her father, or sliding quietly into household duties like + her mother, she broke out early in efforts that pointed in the direction + of Art. As soon as she could hold a pencil she began to sketch outlines of + objects round her with a certain air and spirit. Very extraordinary + horses, but their legs looked as if they could move. Birds unknown to + Audubon, yet flying, as it were, with a rush. Men with impossible legs, + which did yet seem to have a vital connection with their most improbable + bodies. By-and-by the doctor, on his beast,—an old man with a face + looking as if Time had kneaded it like dough with his knuckles, with a + rhubarb tint and flavor pervading himself and his sorrel horse and all + their appurtenances. A dreadful old man! Be sure she did not forget those + saddle-bags that held the detestable bottles out of which he used to shake + those loathsome powders which, to virgin childish palates that find heaven + in strawberries and peaches, are—Well, I suppose I had better stop. + Only she wished she was dead sometimes when she heard him coming. On the + next leaf would figure the gentleman with the black coat and white cravat, + as he looked when he came and entertained her with stories concerning the + death of various little children about her age, to encourage her, as that + wicked Mr. Arouet said about shooting Admiral Byng. Then she would take + her pencil, and with a few scratches there would be the outline of a + child, in which you might notice how one sudden sweep gave the chubby + cheek, and two dots darted at the paper looked like real eyes. + </p> + <p> + By-and-by she went to school, and caricatured the schoolmaster on the + leaves of her grammars and geographies, and drew the faces of her + companions, and, from time to time, heads and figures from her fancy, with + large eyes, far apart, like those of Raffaelle's mothers and children, + sometimes with wild floating hair, and then with wings and heads thrown + back in ecstasy. This was at about twelve years old, as the dates of these + drawings show, and, therefore, three or four years before she came among + us. Soon after this time, the ideal figures began to take the place of + portraits and caricatures, and a new feature appeared in her drawing-books + in the form of fragments of verse and short poems. + </p> + <p> + It was dull work, of course, for such a young girl to live with an old + spinster and go to a village school. Her books bore testimony to this; for + there was a look of sadness in the faces she drew, and a sense of + weariness and longing for some imaginary conditions of blessedness or + other, which began to be painful. She might have gone through this + flowering of the soul, and, casting her petals, subsided into a sober, + human berry, but for the intervention of friendly assistance and counsel. + </p> + <p> + In the town where she lived was a lady of honorable condition, somewhat + past middle age, who was possessed of pretty ample means, of cultivated + tastes, of excellent principles, of exemplary character, and of more than + common accomplishments. The gentleman in black broadcloth and white + neckerchief only echoed the common voice about her, when he called her, + after enjoying, beneath her hospitable roof, an excellent cup of tea, with + certain elegancies and luxuries he was unaccustomed to, “The Model of all + the Virtues.” + </p> + <p> + She deserved this title as well as almost any woman. She did really + bristle with moral excellences. Mention any good thing she had not done; I + should like to see you try! There was no handle of weakness to take hold + of her by; she was as unseizable, except in her totality, as a + billiard-ball; and on the broad, green, terrestrial table, where she had + been knocked about, like all of us, by the cue of Fortune, she glanced + from every human contact, and “caromed” from one relation to another, and + rebounded from the stuffed cushion of temptation, with such exact and + perfect angular movements, that the Enemy's corps of Reporters had long + given up taking notes of her conduct, as there was no chance for their + master. + </p> + <p> + What an admirable person for the patroness and directress of a slightly + self-willed child, with the lightning zigzag line of genius running like a + glittering vein through the marble whiteness of her virgin nature! One of + the lady-patroness's peculiar virtues was calmness. She was resolute and + strenuous, but still. You could depend on her for every duty; she was as + true as steel. She was kind-hearted and serviceable in all the relations + of life. She had more sense, more knowledge, more conversation, as well as + more goodness, than all the partners you have waltzed with this winter put + together. + </p> + <p> + Yet no man was known to have loved her, or even to have offered himself to + her in marriage. It was a great wonder. I am very anxious to vindicate my + character as a philosopher and an observer of Nature by accounting for + this apparently extraordinary fact. + </p> + <p> + You may remember certain persons who have the misfortune of presenting to + the friends whom they meet a cold, damp hand. There are states of mind in + which a contact of this kind has a depressing effect on the vital powers + that makes us insensible to all the virtues and graces of the proprietor + of one of these life-absorbing organs. When they touch us, virtue passes + out of us, and we feel as if our electricity had been drained by a + powerful negative battery, carried about by an overgrown human torpedo. + </p> + <p> + “The Model of all the Virtues” had a pair of searching eyes as clear as + Wenham ice; but they were slower to melt than that fickle jewelry. Her + features disordered themselves slightly at times in a surface-smile, but + never broke loose from their corners and indulged in the riotous tumult of + a laugh,—which, I take it, is the mob-law of the features;—and + propriety the magistrate who reads the riot-act. She carried the brimming + cup of her inestimable virtues with a cautious, steady hand, and an eye + always on them, to see that they did not spill. Then she was an admirable + judge of character. Her mind was a perfect laboratory of tests and + reagents; every syllable you put into breath went into her intellectual + eudiometer, and all your thoughts were recorded on litmus-paper. I think + there has rarely been a more admirable woman. Of course, Miss Iris was + immensely and passionately attached to her.—Well,—these are + two highly oxygenated adverbs, —grateful,—suppose we say,—yes,—grateful, + dutiful, obedient to her wishes for the most part,—perhaps not quite + up to the concert pitch of such a perfect orchestra of the virtues. + </p> + <p> + We must have a weak spot or two in a character before we can love it much. + People that do not laugh or cry, or take more of anything than is good for + them, or use anything but dictionary-words, are admirable subjects for + biographies. But we don't always care most for those flat-pattern flowers + that press best in the herbarium. + </p> + <p> + This immaculate woman,—why could n't she have a fault or two? Is n't + there any old whisper which will tarnish that wearisome aureole of saintly + perfection? Does n't she carry a lump of opium in her pocket? Is n't her + cologne-bottle replenished oftener than its legitimate use would require? + It would be such a comfort! + </p> + <p> + Not for the world would a young creature like Iris have let such words + escape her, or such thoughts pass through her mind. Whether at the bottom + of her soul lies any uneasy consciousness of an oppressive presence, it is + hard to say, until we know more about her. Iris sits between the Little + Gentleman and the “Model of all the Virtues,” as the black-coated + personage called her.—I will watch them all. + </p> + <p> + —Here I stop for the present. What the Professor said has had to + make way this time for what he saw and heard. + </p> + <p> + -And now you may read these lines, which were written for gentle souls who + love music, and read in even tones, and, perhaps, with something like a + smile upon the reader's lips, at a meeting where these musical friends had + gathered. Whether they were written with smiles or not, you can guess + better after you have read them. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + THE OPENING OF THE PIANO. + + In the little southern parlor of the house you may have seen + With the gambrel-roof, and the gable looking westward to the green, + At the side toward the sunset, with the window on its right, + Stood the London-made piano I am dreaming of to-night. + + Ah me! how I remember the evening when it came! + What a cry of eager voices, what a group of cheeks in flame, + When the wondrous boa was opened that had come from over seas, + With its smell of mastic-varnish and its flash of ivory keys! + + Then the children all grew fretful in the restlessness of joy, + For the boy would push his sister, and the sister crowd the boy, + Till the father asked for quiet in his grave paternal way, + But the mother hushed the tumult with the words, “Now, Mary, play.” + + For the dear soul knew that music was a very sovereign balm; + She had sprinkled it over Sorrow and seen its brow grow calm, + In the days of slender harpsichords with tapping tinkling quills, + Or caroling to her spinet with its thin metallic thrills. + + So Mary, the household minstrel, who always loved to please, + Sat down to the new “Clementi,” and struck the glittering keys. + Hushed were the children's voices, and every eye grew dim, + As, floating from lip and finger, arose the “Vesper Hymn.” + + —Catharine, child of a neighbor, curly and rosy-red, + (Wedded since, and a widow,—something like ten years dead,) + Hearing a gush of music such as none before, + Steals from her mother's chamber and peeps at the open door. + + Just as the “Jubilate” in threaded whisper dies, + —“Open it! open it, lady!” the little maiden cries, + (For she thought 't was a singing creature caged in a box she heard,) + “Open it! open it, lady! and let me see the bird!” + </pre> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0007" id="link2H_4_0007"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + IV + </h2> + <p> + I don't know whether our literary or professional people are more amiable + than they are in other places, but certainly quarrelling is out of fashion + among them. This could never be, if they were in the habit of secret + anonymous puffing of each other. That is the kind of underground machinery + which manufactures false reputations and genuine hatreds. On the other + hand, I should like to know if we are not at liberty to have a good time + together, and say the pleasantest things we can think of to each other, + when any of us reaches his thirtieth or fortieth or fiftieth or eightieth + birthday. + </p> + <p> + We don't have “scenes,” I warrant you, on these occasions. No “surprise” + parties! You understand these, of course. In the rural districts, where + scenic tragedy and melodrama cannot be had, as in the city, at the expense + of a quarter and a white pocket-handkerchief, emotional excitement has to + be sought in the dramas of real life. Christenings, weddings, and + funerals, especially the latter, are the main dependence; but babies, + brides, and deceased citizens cannot be had at a day's notice. Now, then, + for a surprise-party! + </p> + <p> + A bag of flour, a barrel of potatoes, some strings of onions, a basket of + apples, a big cake and many little cakes, a jug of lemonade, a purse + stuffed with bills of the more modest denominations, may, perhaps, do well + enough for the properties in one of these private theatrical exhibitions. + The minister of the parish, a tender-hearted, quiet, hard-working man, + living on a small salary, with many children, sometimes pinched to feed + and clothe them, praying fervently every day to be blest in his “basket + and store,” but sometimes fearing he asks amiss, to judge by the small + returns, has the first role,—not, however, by his own choice, but + forced upon him. The minister's wife, a sharp-eyed, unsentimental body, is + first lady; the remaining parts by the rest of the family. If they only + had a playbill, it would run thus: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + ON TUESDAY NEXT + WILL BE PRESENTED + THE AFFECTING SCENE + CALLED + + THE SURPRISE-PARTY + + OR + + THE OVERCOME FAMILY; +</pre> + <p> + WITH THE FOLLOWING STRONG CAST OF CHARACTERS. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + The Rev. Mr. Overcome, by the Clergyman of this Parish. + Mrs. Overcome, by his estimable lady. + Masters Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John Overcome, + Misses Dorcas, Tabitha, Rachel, and Hannah, Overcome, by their + interesting children. + Peggy, by the female help. +</pre> + <p> + The poor man is really grateful;—it is a most welcome and unexpected + relief. He tries to express his thanks,—his voice falters,—he + chokes,—and bursts into tears. That is the great effect of the + evening. The sharp-sighted lady cries a little with one eye, and counts + the strings of onions, and the rest of the things, with the other. The + children stand ready for a spring at the apples. The female help weeps + after the noisy fashion of untutored handmaids. + </p> + <p> + Now this is all very well as charity, but do let the kind visitors + remember they get their money's worth. If you pay a quarter for dry + crying, done by a second-rate actor, how much ought you to pay for real + hot, wet tears, out of the honest eyes of a gentleman who is not acting, + but sobbing in earnest? + </p> + <p> + All I meant to say, when I began, was, that this was not a surprise-party + where I read these few lines that follow: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + We will not speak of years to-night; + For what have years to bring, + But larger floods of love and light + And sweeter songs to sing? + + We will not drown in wordy praise + The kindly thoughts that rise; + If friendship owns one tender phrase, + He reads it in our eyes. + + We need not waste our schoolboy art + To gild this notch of time; + Forgive me, if my wayward heart + Has throbbed in artless rhyme. + + Enough for him the silent grasp + That knits us hand in hand, + And he the bracelet's radiant clasp + That locks our circling band. + + Strength to his hours of manly toil! + Peace to his starlit dreams! + Who loves alike the furrowed soil, + The music-haunted streams! + + Sweet smiles to keep forever bright + The sunshine on his lips, + And faith, that sees the ring of light + Round Nature's last eclipse! +</pre> + <p> + —One of our boarders has been talking in such strong language that I + am almost afraid to report it. However, as he seems to be really honest + and is so very sincere in his local prejudices, I don't believe anybody + will be very angry with him. + </p> + <p> + It is here, Sir! right here!—said the little deformed gentleman,—in + this old new city of Boston,—this remote provincial corner of a + provincial nation, that the Battle of the Standard is fighting, and was + fighting before we were born, and will be fighting when we are dead and + gone,—please God! The battle goes on everywhere throughout + civilization; but here, here, here is the broad white flag flying which + proclaims, first of all, peace and good-will to men, and, next to that, + the absolute, unconditional spiritual liberty of each individual immortal + soul! The three-hilled city against the seven-hilled city! That is it, + Sir,—nothing less than that; and if you know what that means, I + don't think you'll ask for anything more. I swear to you, Sir, I believe + that these two centres of civilization are just exactly the two points + that close the circuit in the battery of our planetary intelligence! And I + believe there are spiritual eyes looking out from Uranus and unseen + Neptune,—ay, Sir, from the systems of Sirius and Arcturus and + Aldebaran, and as far as that faint stain of sprinkled worlds confluent in + the distance that we call the nebula of Orion,—looking on, Sir, with + what organs I know not, to see which are going to melt in that fiery + fusion, the accidents and hindrances of humanity or man himself, Sir,—the + stupendous abortion, the illustrious failure that he is, if the + three-hilled city does not ride down and trample out the seven-hilled + city! + </p> + <p> + —Steam 's up!—said the young man John, so called, in a low + tone. —Three hundred and sixty-five tons to the square inch. Let him + blow her off, or he'll bu'st his b'iler. + </p> + <p> + The divinity-student took it calmly, only whispering that he thought there + was a little confusion of images between a galvanic battery and a charge + of cavalry. + </p> + <p> + But the Koh-i-noor—the gentleman, you remember, with a very large + diamond in his shirt-front laughed his scornful laugh, and made as if to + speak. + </p> + <p> + Sail in, Metropolis!—said that same young man John, by name. And + then, in a lower lane, not meaning to be heard,—Now, then, Ma'am + Allen! + </p> + <p> + But he was heard,—and the Koh-i-noor's face turned so white with + rage, that his blue-black moustache and beard looked fearful, seen against + it. He grinned with wrath, and caught at a tumbler, as if he would have + thrown it or its contents at the speaker. The young Marylander fixed his + clear, steady eye upon him, and laid his hand on his arm, carelessly + almost, but the Jewel found it was held so that he could not move it. It + was of no use. The youth was his master in muscle, and in that deadly + Indian hug in which men wrestle with their eyes;—over in five + seconds, but breaks one of their two backs, and is good for threescore + years and ten;—one trial enough,—settles the whole matter,—just + as when two feathered songsters of the barnyard, game and dunghill, come + together,-after a jump or two at each other, and a few sharp kicks, there + is the end of it; and it is, Apres vous, Monsieur, with the beaten party + in all the social relations for all the rest of his days. + </p> + <p> + I cannot philosophically account for the Koh-i-noor's wrath. For though a + cosmetic is sold, bearing the name of the lady to whom reference was made + by the young person John, yet, as it is publicly asserted in respectable + prints that this cosmetic is not a dye, I see no reason why he should have + felt offended by any suggestion that he was indebted to it or its + authoress. + </p> + <p> + I have no doubt that there are certain exceptional complexions to which + the purple tinge, above alluded to, is natural. Nature is fertile in + variety. I saw an albiness in London once, for sixpence, (including the + inspection of a stuffed boa-constrictor,) who looked as if she had been + boiled in milk. A young Hottentot of my acquaintance had his hair all in + little pellets of the size of marrow-fat peas. One of my own classmates + has undergone a singular change of late years,—his hair losing its + original tint, and getting a remarkable discolored look; and another has + ceased to cultivate any hair at all over the vertex or crown of the head. + So I am perfectly willing to believe that the purple-black of the + Koh-i-noor's moustache and whiskers is constitutional and not pigmentary. + But I can't think why he got so angry. + </p> + <p> + The intelligent reader will understand that all this pantomime of the + threatened onslaught and its suppression passed so quickly that it was all + over by the time the other end of the table found out there was a + disturbance; just as a man chopping wood half a mile off may be seen + resting on his axe at the instant you hear the last blow he struck. So you + will please to observe that the Little Gentleman was not, interrupted + during the time implied by these ex-post-facto remarks of mine, but for + some ten or fifteen seconds only. + </p> + <p> + He did not seem to mind the interruption at all, for he started again. The + “Sir” of his harangue was no doubt addressed to myself more than anybody + else, but he often uses it in discourse as if he were talking with some + imaginary opponent. + </p> + <p> + —America, Sir,—he exclaimed,—is the only place where man + is full-grown! + </p> + <p> + He straightened himself up, as he spoke, standing on the top round of his + high chair, I suppose, and so presented the larger part of his little + figure to the view of the boarders. + </p> + <p> + It was next to impossible to keep from laughing. The commentary was so + strange an illustration of the text! I thought it was time to put in a + word; for I have lived in foreign parts, and am more or less cosmopolitan. + </p> + <p> + I doubt if we have more practical freedom in America than they have in + England,—I said.—An Englishman thinks as he likes in religion + and politics. Mr. Martineau speculates as freely as ever Dr. Channing did, + and Mr. Bright is as independent as Mr. Seward. + </p> + <p> + Sir,—said he,—it is n't what a man thinks or says; but when + and where and to whom he thinks and says it. A man with a flint and steel + striking sparks over a wet blanket is one thing, and striking them over a + tinder-box is another. The free Englishman is born under protest; he lives + and dies under protest,—a tolerated, but not a welcome fact. Is not + freethinker a term of reproach in England? The same idea in the soul of an + Englishman who struggled up to it and still holds it antagonistically, and + in the soul of an American to whom it is congenital and spontaneous, and + often unrecognized, except as an element blended with all his thoughts, a + natural movement, like the drawing of his breath or the beating of his + heart, is a very different thing. You may teach a quadruped to walk on his + hind legs, but he is always wanting to be on all fours. Nothing that can + be taught a growing youth is like the atmospheric knowledge he breathes + from his infancy upwards. The American baby sucks in freedom with the milk + of the breast at which he hangs. + </p> + <p> + —That's a good joke,—said the young fellow John,—considerin' + it commonly belongs to a female Paddy. + </p> + <p> + I thought—I will not be certain—that the Little Gentleman + winked, as if he had been hit somewhere—as I have no doubt Dr. + Darwin did when the wooden-spoon suggestion upset his theory about why, + etc. If he winked, however, he did not dodge. + </p> + <p> + A lively comment!—he said.—But Rome, in her great founder, + sucked the blood of empire out of the dugs of a brute, Sir! The Milesian + wet-nurse is only a convenient vessel through which the American infant + gets the life-blood of this virgin soil, Sir, that is making man over + again, on the sunset pattern! You don't think what we are doing and going + to do here. Why, Sir, while commentators are bothering themselves with + interpretation of prophecies, we have got the new heavens and the new + earth over us and under us! Was there ever anything in Italy, I should + like to know, like a Boston sunset? + </p> + <p> + —This time there was a laugh, and the little man himself almost + smiled. + </p> + <p> + Yes,—Boston sunsets;—perhaps they're as good in some other + places, but I know 'em best here. Anyhow, the American skies are different + from anything they see in the Old World. Yes, and the rocks are different, + and the soil is different, and everything that comes out of the soil, from + grass up to Indians, is different. And now that the provisional races are + dying out— + </p> + <p> + —What do you mean by the provisional races, Sir?—said the + divinity-student, interrupting him. + </p> + <p> + Why, the aboriginal bipeds, to be sure,—he answered,—the + red-crayon sketch of humanity laid on the canvas before the colors for the + real manhood were ready. + </p> + <p> + I hope they will come to something yet,—said the divinity-student. + </p> + <p> + Irreclaimable, Sir,—irreclaimable!—said the Little Gentleman.—Cheaper + to breed white men than domesticate a nation of red ones. When you can get + the bitter out of the partridge's thigh, you can make an enlightened + commonwealth of Indians. A provisional race, Sir,—nothing more. + Exhaled carbonic acid for the use of vegetation, kept down the bears and + catamounts, enjoyed themselves in scalping and being scalped, and then + passed away or are passing away, according to the programme. + </p> + <p> + Well, Sir, these races dying out, the white man has to acclimate himself. + It takes him a good while; but he will come all right by-and-by, Sir,—as + sound as a woodchuck,—as sound as a musquash! + </p> + <p> + A new nursery, Sir, with Lake Superior and Huron and all the rest of 'em + for wash-basins! A new race, and a whole new world for the new-born human + soul to work in! And Boston is the brain of it, and has been any time + these hundred years! That's all I claim for Boston,—that it is the + thinking centre of the continent, and therefore of the planet. + </p> + <p> + —And the grand emporium of modesty,—said the divinity-student, + a little mischievously. + </p> + <p> + Oh, don't talk to me of modesty!—answered the Little Gentleman,—I + 'm past that! There is n't a thing that was ever said or done in Boston, + from pitching the tea overboard to the last ecclesiastical lie it tore + into tatters and flung into the dock, that was n't thought very indelicate + by some fool or tyrant or bigot, and all the entrails of commercial and + spiritual conservatism are twisted into colics as often as this + revolutionary brain of ours has a fit of thinking come over it.—No, + Sir,—show me any other place that is, or was since the megalosaurus + has died out, where wealth and social influence are so fairly divided + between the stationary and the progressive classes! Show me any other + place where every other drawing-room is not a chamber of the Inquisition, + with papas and mammas for inquisitors,—and the cold shoulder, + instead of the “dry pan and the gradual fire,” the punishment of “heresy”! + </p> + <p> + —We think Baltimore is a pretty civilized kind of a village,—said + the young Marylander, good-naturedly.—But I suppose you can't + forgive it for always keeping a little ahead of Boston in point of + numbers,—tell the truth now. Are we not the centre of something? + </p> + <p> + Ah, indeed, to be sure you are. You are the gastronomic metropolis of the + Union. Why don't you put a canvas-back-duck on the top of the Washington + column? Why don't you get that lady off from Battle Monument and plant a + terrapin in her place? Why will you ask for other glories when you have + soft crabs? No, Sir,—you live too well to think as hard as we do in + Boston. Logic comes to us with the salt-fish of Cape Ann; rhetoric is born + of the beans of Beverly; but you—if you open your mouths to speak, + Nature stops them with a fat oyster, or offers a slice of the breast of + your divine bird, and silences all your aspirations. + </p> + <p> + And what of Philadelphia?—said the Marylander. + </p> + <p> + Oh, Philadelphia?—Waterworks,—killed by the Croton and + Cochituate; —Ben Franklin,—borrowed from Boston;—David + Rittenhouse,—made an orrery;—Benjamin Rush,—made a + medical system;—both interesting to antiquarians;—great + Red-river raft of medical students,—spontaneous generation of + professors to match;—more widely known through the Moyamensing + hose-company, and the Wistar parties;-for geological section of social + strata, go to The Club.—Good place to live in,—first-rate + market,—tip-top peaches.—What do we know about Philadelphia, + except that the engine-companies are always shooting each other? + </p> + <p> + And what do you say to New York?—asked the Koh-i-noor. + </p> + <p> + A great city, Sir,—replied the Little Gentleman,—a very + opulent, splendid city. A point of transit of much that is remarkable, and + of permanence for much that is respectable. A great money-centre. San + Francisco with the mines above-ground,—and some of 'em under the + sidewalks. I have seen next to nothing grandiose, out of New York, in all + our cities. It makes 'em all look paltry and petty. Has many elements of + civilization. May stop where Venice did, though, for aught we know.—The + order of its development is just this:—Wealth; architecture; + upholstery; painting; sculpture. Printing, as a mechanical art,—just + as Nicholas Jepson and the Aldi, who were scholars too, made Venice + renowned for it. Journalism, which is the accident of business and crowded + populations, in great perfection. Venice got as far as Titian and Paul + Veronese and Tintoretto,—great colorists, mark you, magnificent on + the flesh-and-blood side of Art,—but look over to Florence and see + who lie in Santa Crocea, and ask out of whose loins Dante sprung! + </p> + <p> + Oh, yes, to be sure, Venice built her Ducal Palace, and her Church of St. + Mark, and her Casa d' Or, and the rest of her golden houses; and Venice + had great pictures and good music; and Venice had a Golden Book, in which + all the large tax-payers had their names written;—but all that did + not make Venice the brain of Italy. + </p> + <p> + I tell you what, Sir,—with all these magnificent appliances of + civilization, it is time we began to hear something from the djinnis donee + whose names are on the Golden Book of our sumptuous, splendid, + marble-placed Venice,—something in the higher walks of literature, + —something in the councils of the nation. Plenty of Art, I grant + you, Sir; now, then, for vast libraries, and for mighty scholars and + thinkers and statesmen,—five for every Boston one, as the population + is to ours,—ten to one more properly, in virtue of centralizing + attraction as the alleged metropolis, and not call our people provincials, + and have to come begging to us to write the lives of Hendrik Hudson and + Gouverneur Morris! + </p> + <p> + —The Little Gentleman was on his hobby, exalting his own city at the + expense of every other place. I have my doubts if he had been in either of + the cities he had been talking about. I was just going to say something to + sober him down, if I could, when the young Marylander spoke up. + </p> + <p> + Come, now,—he said,—what's the use of these comparisons? Did + n't I hear this gentleman saying, the other day, that every American owns + all America? If you have really got more brains in Boston than other + folks, as you seem to think, who hates you for it, except a pack of + scribbling fools? If I like Broadway better than Washington Street, what + then? I own them both, as much as anybody owns either. I am an American,—and + wherever I look up and see the stars and stripes overhead, that is home to + me! + </p> + <p> + He spoke, and looked up as if he heard the emblazoned folds crackling over + him in the breeze. We all looked up involuntarily, as if we should see the + national flag by so doing. The sight of the dingy ceiling and the + gas-fixture depending therefrom dispelled the illusion. + </p> + <p> + Bravo! bravo!—said the venerable gentleman on the other side of the + table.—Those are the sentiments of Washington's Farewell Address. + Nothing better than that since the last chapter in Revelations. + Five-and-forty years ago there used to be Washington societies, and little + boys used to walk in processions, each little boy having a copy of the + Address, bound in red, hung round his neck by a ribbon. Why don't they + now? Why don't they now? I saw enough of hating each other in the old + Federal times; now let's love each other, I say,—let's love each + other, and not try to make it out that there is n't any place fit to live + in except the one we happen to be born in. + </p> + <p> + It dwarfs the mind, I think,—said I,—to feed it on any + localism. The full stature of manhood is shrivelled— + </p> + <p> + The color burst up into my cheeks. What was I saying,—I, who would + not for the world have pained our unfortunate little boarder by an + allusion? + </p> + <p> + I will go,—he said,—and made a movement with his left arm to + let himself down from his high chair. + </p> + <p> + No,—no,—he does n't mean it,—you must not go,—said + a kind voice next him; and a soft, white hand was laid upon his arm. + </p> + <p> + Iris, my dear!—exclaimed another voice, as of a female, in accents + that might be considered a strong atmospheric solution of duty with very + little flavor of grace. + </p> + <p> + She did not move for this address, and there was a tableau that lasted + some seconds. For the young girl, in the glory of half-blown womanhood, + and the dwarf, the cripple, the misshapen little creature covered with + Nature's insults, looked straight into each other's eyes. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps no handsome young woman had ever looked at him so in his life. + Certainly the young girl never had looked into eyes that reached into her + soul as these did. It was not that they were in themselves supernaturally + bright,—but there was the sad fire in them that flames up from the + soul of one who looks on the beauty of woman without hope, but, alas! not + without emotion. To him it seemed as if those amber gates had been + translucent as the brown water of a mountain brook, and through them he + had seen dimly into a virgin wilderness, only waiting for the sunrise of a + great passion for all its buds to blow and all its bowers to ring with + melody. + </p> + <p> + That is my image, of course,—not his. It was not a simile that was + in his mind, or is in anybody's at such a moment,—it was a pang of + wordless passion, and then a silent, inward moan. + </p> + <p> + A lady's wish,—he said, with a certain gallantry of manner,—makes + slaves of us all.—And Nature, who is kind to all her children, and + never leaves the smallest and saddest of all her human failures without + one little comfit of self-love at the bottom of his poor ragged pocket,—Nature + suggested to him that he had turned his sentence well; and he fell into a + reverie, in which the old thoughts that were always hovering dust outside + the doors guarded by Common Sense, and watching for a chance to squeeze + in, knowing perfectly well they would be ignominiously kicked out again as + soon as Common Sense saw them, flocked in pell-mell,—misty, + fragmentary, vague, half-ashamed of themselves, but still shouldering up + against his inner consciousness till it warmed with their contact:—John + Wilkes's—the ugliest man's in England—saying, that with + half-an-hour's start he would cut out the handsomest man in all the land + in any woman's good graces; Cadenus—old and savage—leading + captive Stella and Vanessa; and then the stray line of a ballad, “And a + winning tongue had he,”—as much as to say, it is n't looks, after + all, but cunning words, that win our Eves over,—just as of old when + it was the worst-looking brute of the lot that got our grandmother to + listen to his stuff and so did the mischief. + </p> + <p> + Ah, dear me! We rehearse the part of Hercules with his club, subjugating + man and woman in our fancy, the first by the weight of it, and the second + by our handling of it,—we rehearse it, I say, by our own + hearth-stones, with the cold poker as our club, and the exercise is easy. + But when we come to real life, the poker is in the fore, and, ten to one, + if we would grasp it, we find it too hot to hold;—lucky for us, if + it is not white-hot, and we do not have to leave the skin of our hands + sticking to it when we fling it down or drop it with a loud or silent cry! + </p> + <p> + —I am frightened when I find into what a labyrinth of human + character and feeling I am winding. I meant to tell my thoughts, and to + throw in a few studies of manner and costume as they pictured themselves + for me from day to day. Chance has thrown together at the table with me a + number of persons who are worth studying, and I mean not only to look on + them, but, if I can, through them. You can get any man's or woman's + secret, whose sphere is circumscribed by your own, if you will only look + patiently on them long enough. Nature is always applying her reagents to + character, if you will take the pains to watch her. Our studies of + character, to change the image, are very much like the surveyor's + triangulation of a geographical province. We get a base-line in + organization, always; then we get an angle by sighting some distant object + to which the passions or aspirations of the subject of our observation are + tending; then another;—and so we construct our first triangle. Once + fix a man's ideals, and for the most part the rest is easy. A wants to die + worth half a million. Good. B (female) wants to catch him,—and + outlive him. All right. Minor details at our leisure. + </p> + <p> + What is it, of all your experiences, of all your thoughts, of all your + misdoings, that lies at the very bottom of the great heap of acts of + consciousness which make up your past life? What should you most dislike + to tell your nearest friend?—Be so good as to pause for a brief + space, and shut the volume you hold with your finger between the pages.—Oh, + that is it! + </p> + <p> + What a confessional I have been sitting at, with the inward ear of my soul + open, as the multitudinous whisper of my involuntary confidants came back + to me like the reduplicated echo of a cry among the craggy bills! + </p> + <p> + At the house of a friend where I once passed the night was one of those + stately upright cabinet desks and cases of drawers which were not rare in + prosperous families during the last century. It had held the clothes and + the books and the papers of generation after generation. The hands that + opened its drawers had grown withered, shrivelled, and at last been folded + in death. The children that played with the lower handles had got tall + enough to open the desk, to reach the upper shelves behind the + folding-doors,—grown bent after a while,—and then followed + those who had gone before, and left the old cabinet to be ransacked by a + new generation. + </p> + <p> + A boy of ten or twelve was looking at it a few years ago, and, being a + quick-witted fellow, saw that all the space was not accounted for by the + smaller drawers in the part beneath the lid of the desk. Prying about with + busy eyes and fingers, he at length came upon a spring, on pressing which, + a secret drawer flew from its hiding-place. It had never been opened but + by the maker. The mahogany shavings and dust were lying in it as when the + artisan closed it,—and when I saw it, it was as fresh as if that day + finished. + </p> + <p> + Is there not one little drawer in your soul, my sweet reader, which no + hand but yours has ever opened, and which none that have known you seem to + have suspected? What does it hold?—A sin?—I hope not. What a + strange thing an old dead sin laid away in a secret drawer of the soul is! + Must it some time or other be moistened with tears, until it comes to life + again and begins to stir in our consciousness,—as the dry + wheel-animalcule, looking like a grain of dust, becomes alive, if it is + wet with a drop of water? + </p> + <p> + Or is it a passion? There are plenty of withered men and women walking + about the streets who have the secret drawer in their hearts, which, if it + were opened, would show as fresh as it was when they were in the flush of + youth and its first trembling emotions. + </p> + <p> + What it held will, perhaps, never be known, until they are dead and gone, + and same curious eye lights on an old yellow letter with the fossil + footprints of the extinct passion trodden thick all over it. + </p> + <p> + There is not a boarder at our table, I firmly believe, excepting the young + girl, who has not a story of the heart to tell, if one could only get the + secret drawer open. Even this arid female, whose armor of black bombazine + looks stronger against the shafts of love than any cuirass of triple + brass, has had her sentimental history, if I am not mistaken. I will tell + you my reason for suspecting it. + </p> + <p> + Like many other old women, she shows a great nervousness and restlessness + whenever I venture to express any opinion upon a class of subjects which + can hardly be said to belong to any man or set of men as their strictly + private property,—not even to the clergy, or the newspapers commonly + called “religious.” Now, although it would be a great luxury to me to + obtain my opinions by contract, ready-made, from a professional man, and + although I have a constitutional kindly feeling to all sorts of good + people which would make me happy to agree with all their beliefs, if that + were possible, still I must have an idea, now and then, as to the meaning + of life; and though the only condition of peace in this world is to have + no ideas, or, at least, not to express them, with reference to such + subjects, I can't afford to pay quite so much as that even for peace. + </p> + <p> + I find that there is a very prevalent opinion among the dwellers on the + shores of Sir Isaac Newton's Ocean of Truth, that salt, fish, which have + been taken from it a good while ago, split open, cured and dried, are the + only proper and allowable food for reasonable people. I maintain, on the + other hand, that there are a number of live fish still swimming in it, and + that every one of us has a right to see if he cannot catch some of them. + Sometimes I please myself with the idea that I have landed an actual + living fish, small, perhaps, but with rosy gills and silvery scales. Then + I find the consumers of nothing but the salted and dried article insist + that it is poisonous, simply because it is alive, and cry out to people + not to touch it. I have not found, however, that people mind them much. + </p> + <p> + The poor boarder in bombazine is my dynamometer. I try every questionable + proposition on her. If she winces, I must be prepared for an outcry from + the other old women. I frightened her, the other day, by saying that + faith, as an intellectual state, was self-reliance, which, if you have a + metaphysical turn, you will find is not so much of a paradox as it sounds + at first. So she sent me a book to read which was to cure me of that + error. It was an old book, and looked as if it had not been opened for a + long time. What should drop out of it, one day, but a small heart-shaped + paper, containing a lock of that straight, coarse, brown hair which sets + off the sharp faces of so many thin-flanked, large-handed bumpkins! I read + upon the paper the name “Hiram.”—Love! love! love!—everywhere! + everywhere!—under diamonds and housemaids' “jewelry,”—lifting + the marrowy camel's-hair, and rustling even the black bombazine!—No, + no,—I think she never was pretty, but she was young once, and wore + bright ginghams, and, perhaps, gay merinos. We shall find that the poor + little crooked man has been in love, or is in love, or will be in love + before we have done with him, for aught that I know! + </p> + <p> + Romance! Was there ever a boarding-house in the world where the seemingly + prosaic table had not a living fresco for its background, where you could + see, if you had eyes, the smoke and fire of some upheaving sentiment, or + the dreary craters of smouldering or burnt-out passions? You look on the + black bombazine and high-necked decorum of your neighbor, and no more + think of the real life that underlies this despoiled and dismantled + womanhood than you think of a stone trilobite as having once been full of + the juices and the nervous thrills of throbbing and self-conscious being. + There is a wild creature under that long yellow pin which serves as brooch + for the bombazine cuirass,—a wild creature, which I venture to say + would leap in his cage, if I should stir him, quiet as you think him. A + heart which has been domesticated by matrimony and maternity is as + tranquil as a tame bullfinch; but a wild heart which has never been fairly + broken in flutters fiercely long after you think time has tamed it down,—like + that purple finch I had the other day, which could not be approached + without such palpitations and frantic flings against the bars of his cage, + that I had to send him back and get a little orthodox canary which had + learned to be quiet and never mind the wires or his keeper's handling. I + will tell you my wicked, but half involuntary experiment on the wild heart + under the faded bombazine. + </p> + <p> + Was there ever a person in the room with you, marked by any special + weakness or peculiarity, with whom you could be two hours and not touch + the infirm spot? I confess the most frightful tendency to do just this + thing. If a man has a brogue, I am sure to catch myself imitating it. If + another is lame, I follow him, or, worse than that, go before him, + limping. + </p> + <p> + I could never meet an Irish gentleman—if it had been the Duke of + Wellington himself—without stumbling upon the word “Paddy,”—which + I use rarely in my common talk. + </p> + <p> + I have been worried to know whether this was owing to some innate + depravity of disposition on my part, some malignant torturing instinct, + which, under different circumstances, might have made a Fijian + anthropophagus of me, or to some law of thought for which I was not + answerable. It is, I am convinced, a kind of physical fact like + endosmosis, with which some of you are acquainted. A thin film of + politeness separates the unspoken and unspeakable current of thought from + the stream of conversation. After a time one begins to soak through and + mingle with the other. + </p> + <p> + We were talking about names, one day.—Was there ever anything,—I + said,—like the Yankee for inventing the most uncouth, pretentious, + detestable appellations,—inventing or finding them,—since the + time of Praise-God Barebones? I heard a country-boy once talking of + another whom he called Elpit, as I understood him. Elbridge is common + enough, but this sounded oddly. It seems the boy was christened Lord Pitt,—and + called for convenience, as above. I have heard a charming little girl, + belonging to an intelligent family in the country, called Anges + invariably; doubtless intended for Agnes. Names are cheap. How can a man + name an innocent new-born child, that never did him any harm, Hiram?—The + poor relation, or whatever she is, in bombazine, turned toward me, but I + was stupid, and went on.—To think of a man going through life + saddled with such an abominable name as that!—The poor relation grew + very uneasy.—I continued; for I never thought of all this till + afterwards.—I knew one young fellow, a good many years ago, by the + name of Hiram—What's got into you, Cousin,—said our landlady,—to + look so?—There! you 've upset your teacup! + </p> + <p> + It suddenly occurred to me what I had been doing, and I saw the poor woman + had her hand at her throat; she was half-choking with the “hysteric ball,”—a + very odd symptom, as you know, which nervous women often complain of. What + business had I to be trying experiments on this forlorn old soul? I had a + great deal better be watching that young girl. + </p> + <p> + Ah, the young girl! I am sure that she can hide nothing from me. Her skin + is so transparent that one can almost count her heart-beats by the flushes + they send into her cheeks. She does not seem to be shy, either. I think + she does not know enough of danger to be timid. She seems to me like one + of those birds that travellers tell of, found in remote, uninhabited + islands, who, having never received any wrong at the hand of man, show no + alarm at and hardly any particular consciousness of his presence. + </p> + <p> + The first thing will be to see how she and our little deformed gentleman + get along together; for, as I have told you, they sit side by side. The + next thing will be to keep an eye on the duenna,—the “Model” and so + forth, as the white-neck-cloth called her. The intention of that estimable + lady is, I understand, to launch her and leave her. I suppose there is no + help for it, and I don't doubt this young lady knows how to take care of + herself, but I do not like to see young girls turned loose in + boarding-houses. Look here now! There is that jewel of his race, whom I + have called for convenience the Koh-i-noor, (you understand it is quite + out of the question for me to use the family names of our boarders, unless + I want to get into trouble,)—I say, the gentleman with the diamond + is looking very often and very intently, it seems to me, down toward the + farther corner of the table, where sits our amber-eyed blonde. The + landlady's daughter does not look pleased, it seems to me, at this, nor at + those other attentions which the gentleman referred to has, as I have + learned, pressed upon the newly-arrived young person. The landlady made a + communication to me, within a few days after the arrival of Miss Iris, + which I will repeat to the best of my remembrance. + </p> + <p> + He, (the person I have been speaking of,)—she said,—seemed to + be kinder hankerin' round after that young woman. It had hurt her + daughter's feelin's a good deal, that the gentleman she was a-keepin' + company with should be offerin' tickets and tryin' to send presents to + them that he'd never know'd till jest a little spell ago,—and he as + good as merried, so fur as solemn promises went, to as respectable a young + lady, if she did say so, as any there was round, whosomever they might be. + </p> + <p> + Tickets! presents!—said I.—What tickets, what presents has he + had the impertinence to be offering to that young lady? + </p> + <p> + Tickets to the Museum,—said the landlady. There is them that's glad + enough to go to the Museum, when tickets is given 'em; but some of 'em + ha'n't had a ticket sence Cenderilla was played,—and now he must be + offerin' 'em to this ridiculous young paintress, or whatever she is, + that's come to make more mischief than her board's worth. But it a'n't her + fault,—said the landlady, relenting;—and that aunt of hers, or + whatever she is, served him right enough. + </p> + <p> + Why, what did she do? + </p> + <p> + Do? Why, she took it up in the tongs and dropped it out o' winder. + </p> + <p> + Dropped? dropped what?—I said. + </p> + <p> + Why, the soap,—said the landlady. + </p> + <p> + It appeared that the Koh-i-noor, to ingratiate himself, had sent an + elegant package of perfumed soap, directed to Miss Iris, as a delicate + expression of a lively sentiment of admiration, and that, after having met + with the unfortunate treatment referred to, it was picked up by Master + Benjamin Franklin, who appropriated it, rejoicing, and indulged in most + unheard-of and inordinate ablutions in consequence, so that his hands were + a frequent subject of maternal congratulation, and he smelt like a + civet-cat for weeks after his great acquisition. + </p> + <p> + After watching daily for a time, I think I can see clearly into the + relation which is growing up between the little gentleman and the young + lady. She shows a tenderness to him that I can't help being interested in. + If he was her crippled child, instead of being more than old enough to be + her father, she could not treat him more kindly. The landlady's daughter + said, the other day, she believed that girl was settin' her cap for the + Little Gentleman. + </p> + <p> + Some of them young folks is very artful,—said her mother,—and + there is them that would merry Lazarus, if he'd only picked up crumbs + enough. I don't think, though, this is one of that sort; she's kinder + childlike,—said the landlady,—and maybe never had any dolls to + play with; for they say her folks was poor before Ma'am undertook to see + to her teachin' and board her and clothe her. + </p> + <p> + I could not help overhearing this conversation. “Board her and clothe + her!”—speaking of such a young creature! Oh, dear!—Yes,—she + must be fed,—just like Bridget, maid-of-all-work at this + establishment. Somebody must pay for it. Somebody has a right to watch her + and see how much it takes to “keep” her, and growl at her, if she has too + good an appetite. Somebody has a right to keep an eye on her and take care + that she does not dress too prettily. No mother to see her own youth over + again in these fresh features and rising reliefs of half-sculptured + womanhood, and, seeing its loveliness, forget her lessons of + neutral-tinted propriety, and open the cases that hold her own ornaments + to find for her a necklace or a bracelet or a pair of ear-rings,—those + golden lamps that light up the deep, shadowy dimples on the cheeks of + young beauties,—swinging in a semi-barbaric splendor that carries + the wild fancy to Abyssinian queens and musky Odalisques! I don't believe + any woman has utterly given up the great firm of Mundus & Co., so long + as she wears ear-rings. + </p> + <p> + I think Iris loves to hear the Little Gentleman talk. She smiles sometimes + at his vehement statements, but never laughs at him. When he speaks to + her, she keeps her eye always steadily upon him. This may be only natural + good-breeding, so to speak, but it is worth noticing. I have often + observed that vulgar persons, and public audiences of inferior collective + intelligence, have this in common: the least thing draws off their minds, + when you are speaking to them. I love this young creature's rapt attention + to her diminutive neighbor while he is speaking. + </p> + <p> + He is evidently pleased with it. For a day or two after she came, he was + silent and seemed nervous and excited. Now he is fond of getting the talk + into his own hands, and is obviously conscious that he has at least one + interested listener. Once or twice I have seen marks of special attention + to personal adornment, a ruffled shirt-bosom, one day, and a diamond pin + in it,—not so very large as the Koh-i-noor's, but more lustrous. I + mentioned the death's-head ring he wears on his right hand. I was + attracted by a very handsome red stone, a ruby or carbuncle or something + of the sort, to notice his left hand, the other day. It is a handsome + hand, and confirms my suspicion that the cast mentioned was taken from his + arm. After all, this is just what I should expect. It is not very uncommon + to see the upper limbs, or one of them, running away with the whole + strength, and, therefore, with the whole beauty, which we should never + have noticed, if it had been divided equally between all four extremities. + If it is so, of course he is proud of his one strong and beautiful arm; + that is human nature. I am afraid he can hardly help betraying his + favoritism, as people who have any one showy point are apt to do,—especially + dentists with handsome teeth, who always smile back to their last molars. + </p> + <p> + Sitting, as he does, next to the young girl, and next but one to the calm + lady who has her in charge, he cannot help seeing their relations to each + other. + </p> + <p> + That is an admirable woman, Sir,—he said to me one day, as we sat + alone at the table after breakfast,—an admirable woman, Sir,—and + I hate her. + </p> + <p> + Of course, I begged an explanation. + </p> + <p> + An admirable woman, Sir, because she does good things, and even kind + things,—takes care of this—this—young lady—we have + here, talks like a sensible person, and always looks as if she was doing + her duty with all her might. I hate her because her voice sounds as if it + never trembled and her eyes look as if she never knew what it was to cry. + Besides, she looks at me, Sir, stares at me, as if she wanted to get an + image of me for some gallery in her brain,—and we don't love to be + looked at in this way, we that have—I hate her,—I hate her,—her + eyes kill me,—it is like being stabbed with icicles to be looked at + so,—the sooner she goes home, the better. I don't want a woman to + weigh me in a balance; there are men enough for that sort of work. The + judicial character is n't captivating in females, Sir. A woman fascinates + a man quite as often by what she overlooks as by what she sees. Love + prefers twilight to daylight; and a man doesn't think much of, nor care + much for, a woman outside of his household, unless he can couple the idea + of love, past, present, or future, with her. I don't believe the Devil + would give half as much for the services of a sinner as he would for those + of one of these folks that are always doing virtuous acts in a way to make + them unpleasing.—That young girl wants a tender nature to cherish + her and give her a chance to put out her leaves,—sunshine, and not + east winds. + </p> + <p> + He was silent,—and sat looking at his handsome left hand with the + red stone ring upon it.—Is he going to fall in love with Iris? + </p> + <p> + Here are some lines I read to the boarders the other day:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + THE CROOKED FOOTPATH + + Ah, here it is! the sliding rail + That marks the old remembered spot, + —The gap that struck our schoolboy trail, + —The crooked path across the lot. + + It left the road by school and church, + A pencilled shadow, nothing more, + That parted from the silver birch + And ended at the farmhouse door. + + No line or compass traced its plan; + With frequent bends to left or right, + In aimless, wayward curves it ran, + But always kept the door in sight. + + The gabled porch, with woodbine green, + —The broken millstone at the sill, + —Though many a rood might stretch between, + The truant child could see them still. + + No rocks, across the pathway lie, + —No fallen trunk is o'er it thrown, + —And yet it winds, we know not why, + And turns as if for tree or stone. + + Perhaps some lover trod the way + With shaking knees and leaping heart, + —And so it often runs astray + With sinuous sweep or sudden start. + + Or one, perchance, with clouded brain + From some unholy banquet reeled, + —And since, our devious steps maintain + His track across the trodden field. + + Nay, deem not thus,—no earthborn will + Could ever trace a faultless line; + Our truest steps are human still, + —To walk unswerving were divine! + + Truants from love, we dream of wrath; + —Oh, rather let us trust the more! + Through all the wanderings of the path, + We still can see our Father's door! +</pre> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0008" id="link2H_4_0008"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + V + </h2> + <h3> + The Professor finds a Fly in his Teacup. + </h3> + <p> + I have a long theological talk to relate, which must be dull reading to + some of my young and vivacious friends. I don't know, however, that any of + them have entered into a contract to read all that I write, or that I have + promised always to write to please them. What if I should sometimes write + to please myself? + </p> + <p> + Now you must know that there are a great many things which interest me, to + some of which this or that particular class of readers may be totally + indifferent. I love Nature, and human nature, its thoughts, affections, + dreams, aspirations, delusions,—Art in all its forms,—virtu in + all its eccentricities,—old stories from black-letter volumes and + yellow manuscripts, and new projects out of hot brains not yet imbedded in + the snows of age. I love the generous impulses of the reformer; but not + less does my imagination feed itself upon the old litanies, so often + warmed by the human breath upon which they were wafted to Heaven that they + glow through our frames like our own heart's blood. I hope I love good men + and women; I know that they never speak a word to me, even if it be of + question or blame, that I do not take pleasantly, if it is expressed with + a reasonable amount of human kindness. + </p> + <p> + I have before me at this time a beautiful and affecting letter, which I + have hesitated to answer, though the postmark upon it gave its direction, + and the name is one which is known to all, in some of its representatives. + It contains no reproach, only a delicately-hinted fear. Speak gently, as + this dear lady has spoken, and there is no heart so insensible that it + does not answer to the appeal, no intellect so virile that it does not own + a certain deference to the claims of age, of childhood, of sensitive and + timid natures, when they plead with it not to look at those sacred things + by the broad daylight which they see in mystic shadow. How grateful would + it be to make perpetual peace with these pleading saints and their + confessors, by the simple act that silences all complainings! Sleep, + sleep, sleep! says the Arch-Enchantress of them all,—and pours her + dark and potent anodyne, distilled over the fires that consumed her foes,—its + large, round drops changing, as we look, into the beads of her convert's + rosary! Silence! the pride of reason! cries another, whose whole life is + spent in reasoning down reason. + </p> + <p> + I hope I love good people, not for their sake, but for my own. And most + assuredly, if any deed of wrong or word of bitterness led me into an act + of disrespect towards that enlightened and excellent class of men who make + it their calling to teach goodness and their duty to practise it, I should + feel that I had done myself an injury rather than them. Go and talk with + any professional man holding any of the medieval creeds, choosing one who + wears upon his features the mark of inward and outward health, who looks + cheerful, intelligent, and kindly, and see how all your prejudices melt + away in his presence! It is impossible to come into intimate relations + with a large, sweet nature, such as you may often find in this class, + without longing to be at one with it in all its modes of being and + believing. But does it not occur to you that one may love truth as he sees + it, and his race as he views it, better than even the sympathy and + approbation of many good men whom he honors,—better than sleeping to + the sound of the Miserere or listening to the repetition of an effete + Confession of Faith? + </p> + <p> + The three learned professions have but recently emerged from a state of + quasi-barbarism. None of them like too well to be told of it, but it must + be sounded in their ears whenever they put on airs. When a man has taken + an overdose of laudanum, the doctors tell us to place him between two + persons who shall make him walk up and down incessantly; and if he still + cannot be kept from going to sleep, they say that a lash or two over his + back is of great assistance. + </p> + <p> + So we must keep the doctors awake by telling them that they have not yet + shaken off astrology and the doctrine of signatures, as is shown by the + form of their prescriptions, and their use of nitrate of silver, which + turns epileptics into Ethiopians. If that is not enough, they must be + given over to the scourgers, who like their task and get good fees for it. + A few score years ago, sick people were made to swallow burnt toads and + powdered earthworms and the expressed juice of wood-lice. The physician of + Charles I. and II. prescribed abominations not to be named. Barbarism, as + bad as that of Congo or Ashantee. Traces of this barbarism linger even in + the greatly improved medical science of our century. So while the solemn + farce of over-drugging is going on, the world over, the harlequin + pseudo-science jumps on to the stage, whip in hand, with half-a-dozen + somersets, and begins laying about him. + </p> + <p> + In 1817, perhaps you remember, the law of wager by battle was unrepealed, + and the rascally murderous, and worse than murderous, clown, Abraham + Thornton, put on his gauntlet in open court and defied the appellant to + lift the other which he threw down. It was not until the reign of George + II. that the statutes against witchcraft were repealed. As for the English + Court of Chancery, we know that its antiquated abuses form one of the + staples of common proverbs and popular literature. So the laws and the + lawyers have to be watched perpetually by public opinion as much as the + doctors do. + </p> + <p> + I don't think the other profession is an exception. When the Reverend Mr. + Cauvin and his associates burned my distinguished scientific brother,—he + was burned with green fagots, which made it rather slow and painful,—it + appears to me they were in a state of religious barbarism. The dogmas of + such people about the Father of Mankind and his creatures are of no more + account in my opinion than those of a council of Aztecs. If a man picks + your pocket, do you not consider him thereby disqualified to pronounce any + authoritative opinion on matters of ethics? If a man hangs my ancient + female relatives for sorcery, as they did in this neighborhood a little + while ago, or burns my instructor for not believing as he does, I care no + more for his religious edicts than I should for those of any other + barbarian. + </p> + <p> + Of course, a barbarian may hold many true opinions; but when the ideas of + the healing art, of the administration of justice, of Christian love, + could not exclude systematic poisoning, judicial duelling, and murder for + opinion's sake, I do not see how we can trust the verdict of that time + relating to any subject which involves the primal instincts violated in + these abominations and absurdities.—What if we are even now in a + state of semi-barbarism? + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + [Note: This physician believes we “are even now in a state + of semi-barbarism”: invasive procedures for the prolongation + of death rather than prolongation of life; “faith” as slimly + based as medieval faith in minute differences between + control and treated groups; statistical manipulation to + prove a prejudice. Medicine has a good deal to answer for! + D.W.] +</pre> + <p> + Perhaps some think we ought not to talk at table about such things.—I + am not so sure of that. Religion and government appear to me the two + subjects which of all others should belong to the common talk of people + who enjoy the blessings of freedom. Think, one moment. The earth is a + great factory-wheel, which, at every revolution on its axis, receives + fifty thousand raw souls and turns off nearly the same number worked up + more or less completely. There must be somewhere a population of two + hundred thousand million, perhaps ten or a hundred times as many, + earth-born intelligences. Life, as we call it, is nothing but the edge of + the boundless ocean of existence where it comes on soundings. In this + view, I do not see anything so fit to talk about, or half so interesting, + as that which relates to the innumerable majority of our fellow-creatures, + the dead-living, who are hundreds of thousands to one of the live-living, + and with whom we all potentially belong, though we have got tangled for + the present in some parcels of fibrine, albumen, and phosphates, that keep + us on the minority side of the house. In point of fact, it is one of the + many results of Spiritualism to make the permanent destiny of the race a + matter of common reflection and discourse, and a vehicle for the + prevailing disbelief of the Middle-Age doctrines on the subject. I cannot + help thinking, when I remember how many conversations my friend and myself + have sported, that it would be very extraordinary, if there were no + mention of that class of subjects which involves all that we have and all + that we hope, not merely for ourselves, but for the dear people whom we + love best,—noble men, pure and lovely women, ingenuous children, + about the destiny of nine tenths of whom you know the opinions that would + have been taught by those old man-roasting, woman-strangling dogmatists.—However, + I fought this matter with one of our boarders the other day, and I am + going to report the conversation. + </p> + <p> + The divinity-student came down, one morning, looking rather more serious + than usual. He said little at breakfast-time, but lingered after the + others, so that I, who am apt to be long at the table, found myself alone + with him. + </p> + <p> + When the rest were all gone, he turned his chair round towards mine, and + began. + </p> + <p> + I am afraid,—he said,—you express yourself a little too freely + on a most important class of subjects. Is there not danger in introducing + discussions or allusions relating to matters of religion into common + discourse? + </p> + <p> + Danger to what?—I asked. + </p> + <p> + Danger to truth,—he replied, after a slight pause. + </p> + <p> + I didn't know Truth was such an invalid,' I said.—How long is it + since she could only take the air in a close carriage, with a gentleman in + a black coat on the box? Let me tell you a story, adapted to young + persons, but which won't hurt older ones. + </p> + <p> + —There was a very little boy who had one of those balloons you may + have seen, which are filled with light gas, and are held by a string to + keep them from running off in aeronautic voyages on their own account. + This little boy had a naughty brother, who said to him, one day,—Brother, + pull down your balloon, so that I can look at it and take hold of it. Then + the little boy pulled it down. Now the naughty brother had a sharp pin in + his hand, and he thrust it into the balloon, and all the gas oozed out, so + that there was nothing left but a shrivelled skin. + </p> + <p> + One evening, the little boy's father called him to the window to see the + moon, which pleased him very much; but presently he said,—Father, do + not pull the string and bring down the moon, for my naughty brother will + prick it, and then it will all shrivel up and we shall not see it any + more. + </p> + <p> + Then his father laughed, and told him how the moon had been shining a good + while, and would shine a good while longer, and that all we could do was + to keep our windows clean, never letting the dust get too thick on them, + and especially to keep our eyes open, but that we could not pull the moon + down with a string, nor prick it with a pin.—Mind you this, too, the + moon is no man's private property, but is seen from a good many + parlor-windows. + </p> + <p> + —Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, + you may kick it about all day, like a football, and it will be round and + full at evening. Does not Mr. Bryant say, that Truth gets well if she is + run over by a locomotive, while Error dies of lockjaw if she scratches her + finger? [Would that this was so:—error, superstition, mysticism, + authoritarianism, pseudo-science all have a tenacity that survives + inexplicably. D.W.] I never heard that a mathematician was alarmed for the + safety of a demonstrated proposition. I think, generally, that fear of + open discussion implies feebleness of inward conviction, and great + sensitiveness to the expression of individual opinion is a mark of + weakness. + </p> + <p> + —I am not so much afraid for truth,—said the divinity-student,—as + for the conceptions of truth in the minds of persons not accustomed to + judge wisely the opinions uttered before them. + </p> + <p> + Would you, then, banish all allusions to matters of this nature from the + society of people who come together habitually? + </p> + <p> + I would be very careful in introducing them,—said the + divinity-student. + </p> + <p> + Yes, but friends of yours leave pamphlets in people's entries, to be + picked up by nervous misses and hysteric housemaids, full of doctrines + these people do not approve. Some of your friends stop little children in + the street, and give them books, which their parents, who have had them + baptized into the Christian fold and give them what they consider proper + religious instruction, do not think fit for them. One would say it was + fair enough to talk about matters thus forced upon people's attention. + </p> + <p> + The divinity-student could not deny that this was what might be called + opening the subject to the discussion of intelligent people. + </p> + <p> + But,—he said,—the greatest objection is this, that persons who + have not made a professional study of theology are not competent to speak + on such subjects. Suppose a minister were to undertake to express opinions + on medical subjects, for instance, would you not think he was going beyond + his province? + </p> + <p> + I laughed,—for I remembered John Wesley's “sulphur and + supplication,” and so many other cases where ministers had meddled with + medicine,—sometimes well and sometimes ill, but, as a general rule, + with a tremendous lurch to quackery, owing to their very loose way of + admitting evidence,—that I could not help being amused. + </p> + <p> + I beg your pardon,—I said,—I do not wish to be impolite, but I + was thinking of their certificates to patent medicines. Let us look at + this matter. + </p> + <p> + If a minister had attended lectures on the theory and practice of + medicine, delivered by those who had studied it most deeply, for thirty or + forty years, at the rate of from fifty to one hundred a year,—if he + had been constantly reading and hearing read the most approved text-books + on the subject,—if he had seen medicine actually practised according + to different methods, daily, for the same length of time,—I should + think, that if a person of average understanding, he was entitled to + express an opinion on the subject of medicine, or else that his + instructors were a set of ignorant and incompetent charlatans. + </p> + <p> + If, before a medical practitioner would allow me to enjoy the full + privileges of the healing art, he expected me to affirm my belief in a + considerable number of medical doctrines, drugs, and formulae, I should + think that he thereby implied my right to discuss the same, and my ability + to do so, if I knew how to express myself in English. + </p> + <p> + Suppose, for instance, the Medical Society should refuse to give us an + opiate, or to set a broken limb, until we had signed our belief in a + certain number of propositions,—of which we will say this is the + first: + </p> + <p> + I. All men's teeth are naturally in a state of total decay or caries, and, + therefore, no man can bite until every one of them is extracted and a new + set is inserted according to the principles of dentistry adopted by this + Society. + </p> + <p> + I, for one, should want to discuss that before signing my name to it, and + I should say this:—Why, no, that is n't true. There are a good many + bad teeth, we all know, but a great many more good ones. You must n't + trust the dentists; they are all the time looking at the people who have + bad teeth, and such as are suffering from toothache. The idea that you + must pull out every one of every nice young man and young woman's natural + teeth! Poh, poh! Nobody believes that. This tooth must be straightened, + that must be filled with gold, and this other perhaps extracted, but it + must be a very rare case, if they are all so bad as to require extraction; + and if they are, don't blame the poor soul for it! Don't tell us, as some + old dentists used to, that everybody not only always has every tooth in + his head good for nothing, but that he ought to have his head cut off as a + punishment for that misfortune! No, I can't sign Number One. Give us + Number Two. + </p> + <p> + II. We hold that no man can be well who does not agree with our views of + the efficacy of calomel, and who does not take the doses of it prescribed + in our tables, as there directed. + </p> + <p> + To which I demur, questioning why it should be so, and get for answer the + two following: + </p> + <p> + III. Every man who does not take our prepared calomel, as prescribed by us + in our Constitution and By-Laws, is and must be a mass of disease from + head to foot; it being self-evident that he is simultaneously affected + with Apoplexy, Arthritis, Ascites, Asphyxia, and Atrophy; with + Borborygmus, Bronchitis, and Bulimia; with Cachexia, Carcinoma, and + Cretinismus; and so on through the alphabet, to Xerophthahnia and Zona, + with all possible and incompatible diseases which are necessary to make up + a totally morbid state; and he will certainly die, if he does not take + freely of our prepared calomel, to be obtained only of one of our + authorized agents. + </p> + <p> + IV. No man shall be allowed to take our prepared calomel who does not give + in his solemn adhesion to each and all of the above-named and the + following propositions (from ten to a hundred) and show his mouth to + certain of our apothecaries, who have not studied dentistry, to examine + whether all his teeth have been extracted and a new set inserted according + to our regulations. + </p> + <p> + Of course, the doctors have a right to say we sha'n't have any rhubarb, if + we don't sign their articles, and that, if, after signing them, we express + doubts (in public), about any of them, they will cut us off from our jalap + and squills,—but then to ask a fellow not to discuss the + propositions before he signs them is what I should call boiling it down a + little too strong! + </p> + <p> + If we understand them, why can't we discuss them? If we can't understand + them, because we have n't taken a medical degree, what the Father of Lies + do they ask us to sign them for? + </p> + <p> + Just so with the graver profession. Every now and then some of its members + seem to lose common sense and common humanity. The laymen have to keep + setting the divines right constantly. Science, for instance,—in + other words, knowledge,—is not the enemy of religion; for, if so, + then religion would mean ignorance: But it is often the antagonist of + school-divinity. + </p> + <p> + Everybody knows the story of early astronomy and the school-divines. Come + down a little later, Archbishop Usher, a very learned Protestant prelate, + tells us that the world was created on Sunday, the twenty-third of + October, four thousand and four years before the birth of Christ. Deluge, + December 7th, two thousand three hundred and forty-eight years B. C. Yes, + and the earth stands on an elephant, and the elephant on a tortoise. One + statement is as near the truth as the other. + </p> + <p> + Again, there is nothing so brutalizing to some natures as moral surgery. I + have often wondered that Hogarth did not add one more picture to his four + stages of Cruelty. Those wretched fools, reverend divines and others, who + were strangling men and women for imaginary crimes a little more than a + century ago among us, were set right by a layman, and very angry it made + them to have him meddle. + </p> + <p> + The good people of Northampton had a very remarkable man for their + clergyman,—a man with a brain as nicely adjusted for certain + mechanical processes as Babbage's calculating machine. The commentary of + the laymen on the preaching and practising of Jonathan Edwards was, that, + after twenty-three years of endurance, they turned him out by a vote of + twenty to one, and passed a resolve that he should never preach for them + again. A man's logical and analytical adjustments are of little + consequence, compared to his primary relations with Nature and truth: and + people have sense enough to find it out in the long ran; they know what + “logic” is worth. + </p> + <p> + In that miserable delusion referred to above, the reverend Aztecs and + Fijians argued rightly enough from their premises, no doubt, for many men + can do this. But common sense and common humanity were unfortunately left + out from their premises, and a layman had to supply them. A hundred more + years and many of the barbarisms still lingering among us will, of course, + have disappeared like witch-hanging. But people are sensitive now, as they + were then. You will see by this extract that the Rev. Cotton Mather did + not like intermeddling with his business very well. + </p> + <p> + “Let the Levites of the Lord keep close to their Instructions,” he says, + “and God will smite thro' the loins of those that rise up against them. I + will report unto you a Thing which many Hundreds among us know to be true. + The Godly Minister of a certain Town in Connecticut, when he had occasion + to be absent on a Lord's Day from his Flock, employ'd an honest Neighbour + of some small Talents for a Mechanick, to read a Sermon out of some good + Book unto 'em. This Honest, whom they ever counted also a Pious Man, had + so much conceit of his Talents, that instead of Reading a Sermon + appointed, he to the Surprize of the People, fell to preaching one of his + own. For his Text he took these Words, 'Despise not Prophecyings'; and in + his Preachment he betook himself to bewail the Envy of the Clergy in the + Land, in that they did not wish all the Lord's People to be Prophets, and + call forth Private Brethren publickly to prophesie. While he was thus in + the midst of his Exercise, God smote him with horrible Madness; he was + taken ravingly distracted; the People were forc'd with violent Hands to + carry him home. I will not mention his Name: He was reputed a Pious Man.”—This + is one of Cotton Mather's “Remarkable Judgments of God, on Several Sorts + of Offenders,”—and the next cases referred to are the Judgments on + the “Abominable Sacrilege” of not paying the Ministers' Salaries. + </p> + <p> + This sort of thing does n't do here and now, you see, my young friend! We + talk about our free institutions;—they are nothing but a coarse + outside machinery to secure the freedom of individual thought. The + President of the United States is only the engine driver of our + broad-gauge mail-train; and every honest, independent thinker has a seat + in the first-class cars behind him. + </p> + <p> + —There is something in what you say,—replied the + divinity-student; —and yet it seems to me there are places and times + where disputed doctrines of religion should not be introduced. You would + not attack a church dogma—say Total Depravity—in a + lyceum-lecture, for instance? + </p> + <p> + Certainly not; I should choose another place,—I answered.—But, + mind you, at this table I think it is very different. I shall express my + ideas on any subject I like. The laws of the lecture-room, to which my + friends and myself are always amenable, do not hold here. I shall not + often give arguments, but frequently opinions,—I trust with courtesy + and propriety, but, at any rate, with such natural forms of expression as + it has pleased the Almighty to bestow upon me. + </p> + <p> + A man's opinions, look you, are generally of much more value than his + arguments. These last are made by his brain, and perhaps he does not + believe the proposition they tend to prove,—as is often the case + with paid lawyers; but opinions are formed by our whole nature,—brain, + heart, instinct, brute life, everything all our experience has shaped for + us by contact with the whole circle of our being. + </p> + <p> + —There is one thing more,—said the divinity-student,—that + I wished to speak of; I mean that idea of yours, expressed some time + since, of depolarizing the text of sacred books in order to judge them + fairly. May I ask why you do not try the experiment yourself? + </p> + <p> + Certainly,—I replied,—if it gives you any pleasure to ask + foolish questions. I think the ocean telegraph-wire ought to be laid and + will be laid, but I don't know that you have any right to ask me to go and + lay it. But, for that matter, I have heard a good deal of Scripture + depolarized in and out of the pulpit. I heard the Rev. Mr. F. once + depolarize the story of the Prodigal Son in Park-Street Church. Many years + afterwards, I heard him repeat the same or a similar depolarized version + in Rome, New York. I heard an admirable depolarization of the story of the + young man who “had great possessions” from the Rev. Mr. H. in another + pulpit, and felt that I had never half understood it before. All + paraphrases are more or less perfect depolarizations. But I tell you this: + the faith of our Christian community is not robust enough to bear the + turning of our most sacred language into its depolarized equivalents. You + have only to look back to Dr. Channing's famous Baltimore discourse and + remember the shrieks of blasphemy with which it was greeted, to satisfy + yourself on this point. Time, time only, can gradually wean us from our + Epeolatry, or word-worship, by spiritualizing our ideas of the thing + signified. Man is an idolater or symbol-worshipper by nature, which, of + course, is no fault of his; but sooner or later all his local and + temporary symbols must be ground to powder, like the golden calf,—word-images + as well as metal and wooden ones. Rough work, iconoclasm,—but the + only way to get at truth. It is, indeed, as that quaint and rare old + discourse, “A Summons for Sleepers,” hath it, “no doubt a thankless + office, and a verie unthriftie occupation; veritas odium parit, truth + never goeth without a scratcht face; he that will be busie with voe vobis, + let him looke shortly for coram nobas.” + </p> + <p> + The very aim and end of our institutions is just this: that we may think + what we like and say what we think. + </p> + <p> + —Think what we like!—said the divinity-student;—think + what we like! What! against all human and divine authority? + </p> + <p> + Against all human versions of its own or any other authority. At our own + peril always, if we do not like the right,—but not at the risk of + being hanged and quartered for political heresy, or broiled on green + fagots for ecclesiastical treason! Nay, we have got so far, that the very + word heresy has fallen into comparative disuse among us. + </p> + <p> + And now, my young friend, let-us shake hands and stop our discussion, + which we will not make a quarrel. I trust you know, or will learn, a great + many things in your profession which we common scholars do not know; but + mark this: when the common people of New England stop talking politics and + theology, it will be because they have got an Emperor to teach them the + one, and a Pope to teach them the other! + </p> + <p> + That was the end of my long conference with the divinity-student. The next + morning we got talking a little on the same subject, very good-naturedly, + as people return to a matter they have talked out. + </p> + <p> + You must look to yourself,—said the divinity-student,—if your + democratic notions get into print. You will be fired into from all + quarters. + </p> + <p> + If it were only a bullet, with the marksman's name on it!—I said.—I + can't stop to pick out the peep-shot of the anonymous scribblers. + </p> + <p> + Right, Sir! right!—said the Little Gentleman. The scamps! I know the + fellows. They can't give fifty cents to one of the Antipodes, but they + must have it jingled along through everybody's palms all the way, till it + reaches him,—and forty cents of it gets spilt, like the water out of + the fire-buckets passed along a “lane” at a fire;—but when it comes + to anonymous defamation, putting lies into people's mouths, and then + advertising those people through the country as the authors of them,—oh, + then it is that they let not their left hand know what their right hand + doeth! + </p> + <p> + I don't like Ehud's style of doing business, Sir. He comes along with a + very sanctimonious look, Sir, with his “secret errand unto thee,” and his + “message from God unto thee,” and then pulls out his hidden knife with + that unsuspected hand of his,—(the Little Gentleman lifted his + clenched left hand with the blood-red jewel on the ring-finger,)—and + runs it, blade and haft, into a man's stomach! Don't meddle with these + fellows, Sir. They are read mostly by persons whom you would not reach, if + you were to write ever so much. Let 'em alone. A man whose opinions are + not attacked is beneath contempt. + </p> + <p> + I hope so,—I said.—I got three pamphlets and innumerable + squibs flung at my head for attacking one of the pseudo-sciences, in + former years. When, by the permission of Providence, I held up to the + professional public the damnable facts connected with the conveyance of + poison from one young mother's chamber to another's,—for doing which + humble office I desire to be thankful that I have lived, though nothing + else good should ever come of my life,—I had to bear the sneers of + those whose position I had assailed, and, as I believe, have at last + demolished, so that nothing but the ghosts of dead women stir among the + ruins.—What would you do, if the folks without names kept at you, + trying to get a San Benito on to your shoulders that would fit you?—Would + you stand still in fly-time, or would you give a kick now and then? + </p> + <p> + Let 'em bite!—said the Little Gentleman,—let 'em bite! It + makes 'em hungry to shake 'em off, and they settle down again as thick as + ever and twice as savage. Do you know what meddling with the folks without + names, as you call 'em, is like?—It is like riding at the quintaan. + You run full tilt at the board, but the board is on a pivot, with a bag of + sand on an arm that balances it. The board gives way as soon as you touch + it; and before you have got by, the bag of sand comes round whack on the + back of your neck. “Ananias,” for instance, pitches into your lecture, we + will say, in some paper taken by the people in your kitchen. Your servants + get saucy and negligent. If their newspaper calls you names, they need not + be so particular about shutting doors softly or boiling potatoes. So you + lose your temper, and come out in an article which you think is going to + finish “Ananias,” proving him a booby who doesn't know enough to + understand even a lyceum-lecture, or else a person that tells lies. Now + you think you 've got him! Not so fast. “Ananias” keeps still and winks to + “Shimei,” and “Shimei” comes out in the paper which they take in your + neighbor's kitchen, ten times worse than t'other fellow. If you meddle + with “Shimei,” he steps out, and next week appears “Rab-shakeh,” an + unsavory wretch; and now, at any rate, you find out what good sense there + was in Hezekiah's “Answer him not.”—No, no,—keep your temper.—So + saying, the Little Gentleman doubled his left fist and looked at it as if + he should like to hit something or somebody a most pernicious punch with + it. + </p> + <p> + Good!—said I.—Now let me give you some axioms I have arrived + at, after seeing something of a great many kinds of good folks. + </p> + <p> + —Of a hundred people of each of the different leading religious + sects, about the same proportion will be safe and pleasant persons to deal + and to live with. + </p> + <p> + —There are, at least, three real saints among the women to one among + the men, in every denomination. + </p> + <p> + —The spiritual standard of different classes I would reckon thus: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + 1. The comfortably rich. + 2. The decently comfortable. + 3. The very rich, who are apt to be irreligious. + 4. The very poor, who are apt to be immoral. +</pre> + <p> + —The cut nails of machine-divinity may be driven in, but they won't + clinch. + </p> + <p> + —The arguments which the greatest of our schoolmen could not refute + were two: the blood in men's veins, and the milk in women's breasts. + </p> + <p> + —Humility is the first of the virtues—for other people. + </p> + <p> + —Faith always implies the disbelief of a lesser fact in favor of a + greater. A little mind often sees the unbelief, without seeing the belief + of a large one. + </p> + <p> + The Poor Relation had been fidgeting about and working her mouth while all + this was going on. She broke out in speech at this point. + </p> + <p> + I hate to hear folks talk so. I don't see that you are any better than a + heathen. + </p> + <p> + I wish I were half as good as many heathens have been,—I said.—Dying + for a principle seems to me a higher degree of virtue than scolding for + it; and the history of heathen races is full of instances where men have + laid down their lives for the love of their kind, of their country, of + truth, nay, even for simple manhood's sake, or to show their obedience or + fidelity. What would not such beings have done for the souls of men, for + the Christian commonwealth, for the King of Kings, if they had lived in + days of larger light? Which seems to you nearest heaven, Socrates drinking + his hemlock, Regulus going back to the enemy's camp, or that old New + England divine sitting comfortably in his study and chuckling over his + conceit of certain poor women, who had been burned to death in his own + town, going “roaring out of one fire into another”? + </p> + <p> + I don't believe he said any such thing,—replied the Poor Relation. + </p> + <p> + It is hard to believe,—said I,—but it is true for all that. In + another hundred years it will be as incredible that men talked as we + sometimes hear them now. + </p> + <p> + Pectus est quod facit theologum. The heart makes the theologian. Every + race, every civilization, either has a new revelation of its own or a new + interpretation of an old one. Democratic America, has a different humanity + from feudal Europe, and so must have a new divinity. See, for one moment, + how intelligence reacts on our faiths. The Bible was a divining-book to + our ancestors, and is so still in the hands of some of the vulgar. The + Puritans went to the Old Testament for their laws; the Mormons go to it + for their patriarchal institution. Every generation dissolves something + new and precipitates something once held in solution from that great + storehouse of temporary and permanent truths. + </p> + <p> + You may observe this: that the conversation of intelligent men of the + stricter sects is strangely in advance of the formula that belong to their + organizations. So true is this, that I have doubts whether a large + proportion of them would not have been rather pleased than offended, if + they could have overheard our talk. For, look you, I think there is hardly + a professional teacher who will not in private conversation allow a large + part of what we have said, though it may frighten him in print; and I know + well what an under-current of secret sympathy gives vitality to those poor + words of mine which sometimes get a hearing. + </p> + <p> + I don't mind the exclamation of any old stager who drinks Madeira worth + from two to six Bibles a bottle, and burns, according to his own premises, + a dozen souls a year in the cigars with which he muddles his brains. But + as for the good and true and intelligent men whom we see all around us, + laborious, self-denying, hopeful, helpful,—men who know that the + active mind of the century is tending more and more to the two poles, Rome + and Reason, the sovereign church or the free soul, authority or + personality, God in us or God in our masters, and that, though a man may + by accident stand half-way between these two points, he must look one way + or the other,—I don't believe they would take offence at anything I + have reported of our late conversation. + </p> + <p> + But supposing any one do take offence at first sight, let him look over + these notes again, and see whether he is quite sure he does not agree with + most of these things that were said amongst us. If he agrees with most of + them, let him be patient with an opinion he does not accept, or an + expression or illustration a little too vivacious. I don't know that I + shall report any more conversations on these topics; but I do insist on + the right to express a civil opinion on this class of subjects without + giving offence, just when and where I please,—unless, as in the + lecture-room, there is an implied contract to keep clear of doubtful + matters. You did n't think a man could sit at a breakfast-table doing + nothing but making puns every morning for a year or two, and never give a + thought to the two thousand of his fellow-creatures who are passing into + another state during every hour that he sits talking and laughing. Of + course, the one matter that a real human being cares for is what is going + to become of them and of him. And the plain truth is, that a good many + people are saying one thing about it and believing another. + </p> + <p> + —How do I know that? Why, I have known and loved to talk with good + people, all the way from Rome to Geneva in doctrine, as long as I can + remember. Besides, the real religion of the world comes from women much + more than from men,—from mothers most of all, who carry the key of + our souls in their bosoms. It is in their hearts that the “sentimental” + religion some people are so fond of sneering at has its source. The + sentiment of love, the sentiment of maternity, the sentiment of the + paramount obligation of the parent to the child as having called it into + existence, enhanced just in proportion to the power and knowledge of the + one and the weakness and ignorance of the other,—these are the + “sentiments” that have kept our soulless systems from driving men off to + die in holes like those that riddle the sides of the hill opposite the + Monastery of St. Saba, where the miserable victims of a + falsely-interpreted religion starved and withered in their delusion. + </p> + <p> + I have looked on the face of a saintly woman this very day, whose creed + many dread and hate, but whose life is lovely and noble beyond all praise. + When I remember the bitter words I have heard spoken against her faith, by + men who have an Inquisition which excommunicates those who ask to leave + their communion in peace, and an Index Expurgatorius on which this article + may possibly have the honor of figuring,—and, far worse than these, + the reluctant, pharisaical confession, that it might perhaps be possible + that one who so believed should be accepted of the Creator,—and then + recall the sweet peace and love that show through all her looks, the price + of untold sacrifices and labors, and again recollect how thousands of + women, filled with the same spirit, die, without a murmur, to earthly + life, die to their own names even, that they may know nothing but their + holy duties,—while men are torturing and denouncing their fellows, + and while we can hear day and night the clinking of the hammers that are + trying, like the brute forces in the “Prometheus,” to rivet their + adamantine wedges right through the breast of human nature,—I have + been ready to believe that we have even now a new revelation, and the name + of its Messiah is WOMAN! + </p> + <p> + —I should be sorry,—I remarked, a day or two afterwards, to + the divinity-student,—if anything I said tended in any way to foster + any jealousy between the professions, or to throw disrespect upon that one + on whose counsel and sympathies almost all of us lean in our moments of + trial. But we are false to our new conditions of life, if we do not + resolutely maintain our religious as well as our political freedom, in the + face of any and all supposed monopolies. Certain men will, of course, say + two things, if we do not take their views: first, that we don't know + anything about these matters; and, secondly, that we are not so good as + they are. They have a polarized phraseology for saying these things, but + it comes to precisely that. To which it may be answered, in the first + place, that we have good authority for saying that even babes and + sucklings know something; and, in the second, that, if there is a mote or + so to be removed from our premises, the courts and councils of the last + few years have found beams enough in some other quarters to build a church + that would hold all the good people in Boston and have sticks enough left + to make a bonfire for all the heretics. + </p> + <p> + As to that terrible depolarizing process of mine, of which we were talking + the other day, I will give you a specimen of one way of managing it, if + you like. I don't believe it will hurt you or anybody. Besides, I had a + great deal rather finish our talk with pleasant images and gentle words + than with sharp sayings, which will only afford a text, if anybody repeats + them, for endless relays of attacks from Messrs. Ananias, Shimei, and + Rabshakeh. + </p> + <p> + [I must leave such gentry, if any of them show themselves, in the hands of + my clerical friends, many of whom are ready to stand up for the rights of + the laity,—and to those blessed souls, the good women, to whom this + version of the story of a mother's hidden hopes and tender anxieties is + dedicated by their peaceful and loving servant.] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + A MOTHER'S SECRET. + + How sweet the sacred legend—if unblamed + In my slight verse such holy things are named + —Of Mary's secret hours of hidden joy, + Silent, but pondering on her wondrous boy! + Ave, Maria! Pardon, if I wrong + Those heavenly words that shame my earthly song! + + The choral host had closed the angel's strain + Sung to the midnight watch on Bethlehem's plain; + And now the shepherds, hastening on their way, + Sought the still hamlet where the Infant lay. + They passed the fields that gleaning Ruth toiled O'er, + They saw afar the ruined threshing-floor + Where Moab's daughter, homeless and forlorn, + Found Boaz slumbering by his heaps of corn; + And some remembered how the holy scribe, + Skilled in the lore of every jealous tribe, + Traced the warm blood of Jesse's royal son + To that fair alien, bravely wooed and won. + So fared they on to seek the promised sign + That marked the anointed heir of David's line. + + At last, by forms of earthly semblance led, + They found the crowded inn, the oxen's shed. + No pomp was there, no glory shone around + On the coarse straw that strewed the reeking ground; + One dim retreat a flickering torch betrayed, + In that poor cell the Lord of Life was laid! + + The wondering shepherds told their breathless tale + Of the bright choir that woke the sleeping vale; + Told how the skies with sudden glory flamed; + Told how the shining multitude proclaimed + “Joy, joy to earth! Behold the hallowed morn! + In David's city Christ the Lord is born! + 'Glory to God!' let angels shout on high, + 'Good-will to men!' the listening Earth reply!” + + They spoke with hurried words and accents wild; + Calm in his cradle slept the heavenly child. + No trembling word the mother's joy revealed, + One sigh of rapture, and her lips were sealed; + Unmoved she saw the rustic train depart, + But kept their words to ponder in her heart. + + Twelve years had passed; the boy was fair and tall, + Growing in wisdom, finding grace with all. + The maids of Nazareth, as they trooped to fill + Their balanced urns beside the mountain-rill, + The gathered matrons, as they sat and spun, + Spoke in soft words of Joseph's quiet son. + No voice had reached the Galilean vale + Of star-led kings or awe-struck shepherds' tale; + In the meek, studious child they only saw + The future Rabbi, learned in Israel's law. + + So grew the boy; and now the feast was near, + When at the holy place the tribes appear. + Scarce had the home-bred child of Nazareth seen + Beyond the hills that girt the village-green, + Save when at midnight, o'er the star-lit sands, + Snatched from the steel of Herod's murdering bands, + A babe, close-folded to his mother's breast, + Through Edom's wilds he sought the sheltering West. + + Then Joseph spake: “Thy boy hath largely grown; + Weave him fine raiment, fitting to be shown; + Fair robes beseem the pilgrim, as the priest + Goes he not with us to the holy feast?” + + And Mary culled the flaxen fibres white; + Till eve she spun; she spun till morning light. + The thread was twined; its parting meshes through + From hand to hand her restless shuttle flew, + Till the full web was wound upon the beam, + Love's curious toil,—a vest without a seam! + + They reach the holy place, fulfil the days + To solemn feasting given, and grateful praise. + At last they turn, and far Moriah's height + Melts in the southern sky and fades from sight. + All day the dusky caravan has flowed + In devious trails along the winding road, + (For many a step their homeward path attends, + And all the sons of Abraham are as friends.) + Evening has come,—the hour of rest and joy; + Hush! hush!—that whisper,-“Where is Mary's boy?” + + O weary hour! O aching days that passed + Filled with strange fears, each wilder than the last: + The soldier's lance,—the fierce centurion's sword, + The crushing wheels that whirl some Roman lord, + The midnight crypt that suck's the captive's breath, + The blistering sun on Hinnom's vale of death! + + Thrice on his cheek had rained the morning light, + Thrice on his lips the mildewed kiss of night, + Crouched by some porphyry column's shining plinth, + Or stretched beneath the odorous terebinth. + + At last, in desperate mood, they sought once more + The Temple's porches, searched in vain before; + They found him seated with the ancient men, + The grim old rufflers of the tongue and pen, + Their bald heads glistening as they clustered near; + Their gray beards slanting as they turned to hear, + Lost in half-envious wonder and surprise + That lips so fresh should utter words so wise. + + And Mary said,—as one who, tried too long, + Tells all her grief and half her sense of wrong, + “What is this thoughtless thing which thou hast done? + Lo, we have sought thee sorrowing, O my son!” + Few words he spake, and scarce of filial tone, + Strange words, their sense a mystery yet unknown; + Then turned with them and left the holy hill, + To all their mild commands obedient still. + + The tale was told to Nazareth's sober men, + And Nazareth's matrons told it oft again; + The maids retold it at the fountain's side; + The youthful shepherds doubted or denied; + It passed around among the listening friends, + With all that fancy adds and fiction fends, + Till newer marvels dimmed the young renown + Of Joseph's son, who talked the Rabbis down. + + But Mary, faithful to its lightest word, + Kept in her heart the sayings she had heard, + Till the dread morning rent the Temple's veil, + And shuddering Earth confirmed the wondrous tale. + + Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall; + A mother's secret hope outlives them all. +</pre> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0009" id="link2H_4_0009"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + VI + </h2> + <p> + You don't look so dreadful poor in the face as you did a while back. + Bloated some, I expect. + </p> + <p> + This was the cheerful and encouraging and elegant remark with which the + Poor Relation greeted the divinity-student one morning. + </p> + <p> + Of course every good man considers it a great sacrifice on his part to + continue living in this transitory, unsatisfactory, and particularly + unpleasant world. This is so much a matter of course, that I was surprised + to see the divinity-student change color. He took a look at a small and + uncertain-minded glass which hung slanting forward over the chapped + sideboard. The image it returned to him had the color of a very young pea + somewhat overboiled. The scenery of a long tragic drama flashed through + his mind as the lightning-express-train whishes by a station: the gradual + dismantling process of disease; friends looking on, sympathetic, but + secretly chuckling over their own stomachs of iron and lungs of + caoutchouc; nurses attentive, but calculating their crop, and thinking how + soon it will be ripe, so that they can go to your neighbor, who is good + for a year or so longer; doctors assiduous, but giving themselves a mental + shake, as they go out of your door, which throws off your particular grief + as a duck sheds a raindrop from his oily feathers; undertakers solemn, but + happy; then the great subsoil cultivator, who plants, but never looks for + fruit in his garden; then the stone-cutter, who puts your name on the slab + which has been waiting for you ever since the birds or beasts made their + tracks on the new red sandstone; then the grass and the dandelions and the + buttercups,——Earth saying to the mortal body, with her sweet + symbolism, “You have scarred my bosom, but you are forgiven”; then a + glimpse of the soul as a floating consciousness without very definite form + or place, but dimly conceived of as an upright column of vapor or mist + several times larger than life-size, so far as it could be said to have + any size at all, wandering about and living a thin and half-awake life for + want of good old-fashioned solid matter to come down upon with foot and + fist,—in fact, having neither foot nor fist, nor conveniences for + taking the sitting posture. + </p> + <p> + And yet the divinity-student was a good Christian, and those heathen + images which remind one of the childlike fancies of the dying Adrian were + only the efforts of his imagination to give shape to the formless and + position to the placeless. Neither did his thoughts spread themselves out + and link themselves as I have displayed them. They came confusedly into + his mind like a heap of broken mosaics,—sometimes a part of the + picture complete in itself, sometimes connected fragments, and sometimes + only single severed stones. + </p> + <p> + They did not diffuse a light of celestial joy over his countenance. On the + contrary, the Poor Relation's remark turned him pale, as I have said; and + when the terrible wrinkled and jaundiced looking-glass turned him green in + addition, and he saw himself in it, it seemed to him as if it were all + settled, and his book of life were to be shut not yet half-read, and go + back to the dust of the under-ground archives. He coughed a mild short + cough, as if to point the direction in which his downward path was + tending. It was an honest little cough enough, so far as appearances went. + But coughs are ungrateful things. You find one out in the cold, take it up + and nurse it and make everything of it, dress it up warm, give it all + sorts of balsams and other food it likes, and carry it round in your bosom + as if it were a miniature lapdog. And by-and-by its little bark grows + sharp and savage, and—confound the thing!—you find it is a + wolf's whelp that you have got there, and he is gnawing in the breast + where he has been nestling so long.—The Poor Relation said that + somebody's surrup was good for folks that were gettin' into a bad way.—The + landlady had heard of desperate cases cured by cherry-pictorial. + </p> + <p> + Whiskey's the fellah,—said the young man John.—Make it into + punch, cold at dinner-time 'n' hot at bed-time. I'll come up 'n' show you + how to mix it. Have n't any of you seen the wonderful fat man exhibitin' + down in Hanover Street? + </p> + <p> + Master Benjamin Franklin rushed into the dialogue with a breezy + exclamation, that he had seen a great picter outside of the place where + the fat man was exhibitin'. Tried to get in at half-price, but the man at + the door looked at his teeth and said he was more'n ten year old. + </p> + <p> + It is n't two years,—said the young man John, since that fat fellah + was exhibitin' here as the Livin' Skeleton. Whiskey—that's what did + it,—real Burbon's the stuff. Hot water, sugar, 'n' jest a little + shavin' of lemon-skin in it,—skin, mind you, none o' your juice; + take it off thin,—shape of one of them flat curls the factory-girls + wear on the sides of their foreheads. + </p> + <p> + But I am a teetotaller,—said the divinity-student in a subdued tone;—not + noticing the enormous length of the bow-string the young fellow had just + drawn. + </p> + <p> + He took up his hat and went out. + </p> + <p> + I think you have worried that young man more than you meant,—I said.—I + don't believe he will jump off one of the bridges, for he has too much + principle; but I mean to follow him and see where he goes, for he looks as + if his mind were made up to something. + </p> + <p> + I followed him at a reasonable distance. He walked doggedly along, looking + neither to the right nor the left, turned into State Street, and made for + a well-known Life-Insurance Office. Luckily, the doctor was there and + overhauled him on the spot. There was nothing the matter with him, he + said, and he could have his life insured as a sound one. He came out in + good spirits, and told me this soon after. + </p> + <p> + This led me to make some remarks the next morning on the manners of + well-bred and ill-bred people. + </p> + <p> + I began,—The whole essence of true gentle-breeding (one does not + like to say gentility) lies in the wish and the art to be agreeable. + Good-breeding is surface-Christianity. Every look, movement, tone, + expression, subject of discourse, that may give pain to another is + habitually excluded from conversational intercourse. This is the reason + why rich people are apt to be so much more agreeable than others. + </p> + <p> + —I thought you were a great champion of equality,—said the + discreet and severe lady who had accompanied our young friend, the Latin + Tutor's daughter. + </p> + <p> + I go politically for equality,—I said,—and socially for the + quality. + </p> + <p> + Who are the “quality,”—said the Model, etc., in a community like + ours? + </p> + <p> + I confess I find this question a little difficult to answer,—I said. + —Nothing is better known than the distinction of social ranks which + exists in every community, and nothing is harder to define. The great + gentlemen and ladies of a place are its real lords and masters and + mistresses; they are the quality, whether in a monarchy or a republic; + mayors and governors and generals and senators and ex-presidents are + nothing to them. How well we know this, and how seldom it finds a distinct + expression! Now I tell you truly, I believe in man as man, and I + disbelieve in all distinctions except such as follow the natural lines of + cleavage in a society which has crystallized according to its own true + laws. But the essence of equality is to be able to say the truth; and + there is nothing more curious than these truths relating to the + stratification of society. + </p> + <p> + Of all the facts in this world that do not take hold of immortality, there + is not one so intensely real, permanent, and engrossing as this of social + position,—as you see by the circumstances that the core of all the + great social orders the world has seen has been, and is still, for the + most part, a privileged class of gentlemen and ladies arranged in a + regular scale of precedence among themselves, but superior as a body to + all else. + </p> + <p> + Nothing but an ideal Christian equality, which we have been getting + farther away from since the days of the Primitive Church, can prevent this + subdivision of society into classes from taking place everywhere,—in + the great centres of our republic as much as in old European monarchies. + Only there position is more absolutely hereditary,—here it is more + completely elective. + </p> + <p> + —Where is the election held? and what are the qualifications? and + who are the electors?—said the Model. + </p> + <p> + Nobody ever sees when the vote is taken; there never is a formal vote. The + women settle it mostly; and they know wonderfully well what is + presentable, and what can't stand the blaze of the chandeliers and the + critical eye and ear of people trained to know a staring shade in a + ribbon, a false light in a jewel, an ill-bred tone, an angular movement, + everything that betrays a coarse fibre and cheap training. As a general + thing, you do not get elegance short of two or three removes from the + soil, out of which our best blood doubtless comes,—quite as good, no + doubt, as if it came from those old prize-fighters with iron pots on their + heads, to whom some great people are so fond of tracing their descent + through a line of small artisans and petty shopkeepers whose veins have + held “base” fluid enough to fill the Cloaca Maxima! + </p> + <p> + Does not money go everywhere?—said the Model. + </p> + <p> + Almost. And with good reason. For though there are numerous exceptions, + rich people are, as I said, commonly altogether the most agreeable + companions. The influence of a fine house, graceful furniture, good + libraries, well-ordered tables, trim servants, and, above all, a position + so secure that one becomes unconscious of it, gives a harmony and + refinement to the character and manners which we feel, if we cannot + explain their charm. Yet we can get at the reason of it by thinking a + little. + </p> + <p> + All these appliances are to shield the sensibility from disagreeable + contacts, and to soothe it by varied natural and artificial influences. In + this way the mind, the taste, the feelings, grow delicate, just as the + hands grow white and soft when saved from toil and incased in soft gloves. + The whole nature becomes subdued into suavity. I confess I like the + quality ladies better than the common kind even of literary ones. They + have n't read the last book, perhaps, but they attend better to you when + you are talking to them. If they are never learned, they make up for it in + tact and elegance. Besides, I think, on the whole, there is less + self-assertion in diamonds than in dogmas. I don't know where you will + find a sweeter portrait of humility than in Esther, the poor play-girl of + King Ahasuerus; yet Esther put on her royal apparel when she went before + her lord. I have no doubt she was a more gracious and agreeable person + than Deborah, who judged the people and wrote the story of Sisera. The + wisest woman you talk with is ignorant of something that you know, but an + elegant woman never forgets her elegance. + </p> + <p> + Dowdyism is clearly an expression of imperfect vitality. The highest + fashion is intensely alive,—not alive necessarily to the truest and + best things, but with its blood tingling, as it were, in all its + extremities and to the farthest point of its surface, so that the feather + in its bonnet is as fresh as the crest of a fighting-cock, and the rosette + on its slipper as clean-cut and pimpant (pronounce it English fashion,—it + is a good word) as a dahlia. As a general rule, that society where + flattery is acted is much more agreeable than that where it is spoken. + Don't you see why? Attention and deference don't require you to make fine + speeches expressing your sense of unworthiness (lies) and returning all + the compliments paid you. This is one reason. + </p> + <p> + —A woman of sense ought to be above flattering any man,—said + the Model. + </p> + <p> + [My reflection. Oh! oh! no wonder you did n't get married. Served you + right.] My remark. Surely, Madam,—if you mean by flattery telling + people boldly to their faces that they are this or that, which they are + not. But a woman who does not carry about with her wherever she goes a + halo of good feeling and desire to make everybody contented,—an + atmosphere of grace, mercy, and peace, of at least six feet radius, which + wraps every human being upon whom she voluntarily bestows her presence, + and so flatters him with the comfortable thought that she is rather glad + he is alive than otherwise, isn't worth the trouble of talking to, as a + woman; she may do well enough to hold discussions with. + </p> + <p> + —I don't think the Model exactly liked this. She said,—a + little spitefully, I thought,—that a sensible man might stand a + little praise, but would of course soon get sick of it, if he were in the + habit of getting much. + </p> + <p> + Oh, yes,—I replied,—just as men get sick of tobacco. It is + notorious how apt they are to get tired of that vegetable. + </p> + <p> + —That 's so!—said the young fellow John,—I've got tired + of my cigars and burnt 'em all up. + </p> + <p> + I am heartily glad to hear it,—said the Model,—I wish they + were all disposed of in the same way. + </p> + <p> + So do I,—said the young fellow John. + </p> + <p> + Can't you get your friends to unite with you in committing those odious + instruments of debauchery to the flames in which you have consumed your + own? + </p> + <p> + I wish I could,—said the young fellow John. + </p> + <p> + It would be a noble sacrifice,—said the Model, and every American + woman would be grateful to you. Let us burn them all in a heap out in the + yard. + </p> + <p> + That a'n't my way,—said the young fellow John;—I burn 'em one + 't' time,—little end in my mouth and big end outside. + </p> + <p> + —I watched for the effect of this sudden change of programme, when + it should reach the calm stillness of the Model's interior apprehension, + as a boy watches for the splash of a stone which he has dropped into a + well. But before it had fairly reached the water, poor Iris, who had + followed the conversation with a certain interest until it turned this + sharp corner, (for she seems rather to fancy the young fellow John,) + laughed out such a clear, loud laugh, that it started us all off, as the + locust-cry of some full-throated soprano drags a multitudinous chorus + after it. It was plain that some dam or other had broken in the soul of + this young girl, and she was squaring up old scores of laughter, out of + which she had been cheated, with a grand flood of merriment that swept all + before it. So we had a great laugh all round, in which the Model—who, + if she had as many virtues as there are spokes to a wheel, all compacted + with a personality as round and complete as its tire, yet wanted that one + little addition of grace, which seems so small, and is as important as the + linchpin in trundling over the rough ways of life—had not the tact + to join. She seemed to be “stuffy” about it, as the young fellow John + said. In fact, I was afraid the joke would have cost us both our new + lady-boarders. It had no effect, however, except, perhaps, to hasten the + departure of the elder of the two, who could, on the whole, be spared. + </p> + <p> + —I had meant to make this note of our conversation a text for a few + axioms on the matter of breeding. But it so happened, that, exactly at + this point of my record, a very distinguished philosopher, whom several of + our boarders and myself go to hear, and whom no doubt many of my readers + follow habitually, treated this matter of manners. Up to this point, if I + have been so fortunate as to coincide with him in opinion, and so + unfortunate as to try to express what he has more felicitously said, + nobody is to blame; for what has been given thus far was all written + before the lecture was delivered. But what shall I do now? He told us it + was childish to lay down rules for deportment,—but he could not help + laying down a few. + </p> + <p> + Thus,—Nothing so vulgar as to be in a hurry. True, but hard of + application. People with short legs step quickly, because legs are + pendulums, and swing more times in a minute the shorter they are. + Generally a natural rhythm runs through the whole organization: quick + pulse, fast breathing, hasty speech, rapid trains of thought, excitable + temper. Stillness of person and steadiness of features are signal marks of + good-breeding. Vulgar persons can't sit still, or, at least, they must + work their limbs or features. + </p> + <p> + Talking of one's own ails and grievances.—Bad enough, but not so bad + as insulting the person you talk with by remarking on his ill-looks, or + appealing to notice any of his personal peculiarities. + </p> + <p> + Apologizing.—A very desperate habit,—one that is rarely cured. + Apology is only egotism wrong side out. Nine times out of ten, the first + thing a man's companion knows of his shortcoming is from his apology. It + is mighty presumptuous on your part to suppose your small failures of so + much consequence that you must make a talk about them. + </p> + <p> + Good dressing, quiet ways, low tones of voice, lips that can wait, and + eyes that do not wander,—shyness of personalities, except in certain + intimate communions,—to be light in hand in conversation, to have + ideas, but to be able to make talk, if necessary, without them,—to + belong to the company you are in, and not to yourself,—to have + nothing in your dress or furniture so fine that you cannot afford to spoil + it and get another like it, yet to preserve the harmonies, throughout your + person and—dwelling: I should say that this was a fair capital of + manners to begin with. + </p> + <p> + Under bad manners, as under graver faults, lies very commonly an + overestimate of our special individuality, as distinguished from our + generic humanity. It is just here that the very highest society asserts + its superior breeding. Among truly elegant people of the highest ton, you + will find more real equality in social intercourse than in a country + village. As nuns drop their birth-names and become Sister Margaret and + Sister Mary, so high-bred people drop their personal distinctions and + become brothers and sisters of conversational charity. Nor are fashionable + people without their heroism. I believe there are men who have shown as + much self-devotion in carrying a lone wall-flower down to the supper-table + as ever saint or martyr in the act that has canonized his name. There are + Florence Nightingales of the ballroom, whom nothing can hold back from + their errands of mercy. They find out the red-handed, gloveless + undergraduate of bucolic antecedents, as he squirms in his corner, and + distill their soft words upon him like dew upon the green herb. They reach + even the poor relation, whose dreary apparition saddens the perfumed + atmosphere of the sumptuous drawing-room. I have known one of these angels + ask, of her own accord, that a desolate middle-aged man, whom nobody + seemed to know, should be presented to her by the hostess. He wore no + shirt-collar,—he had on black gloves,—and was flourishing a + red bandanna handkerchief! Match me this, ye proud children of poverty, + who boast of your paltry sacrifices for each other! Virtue in humble life! + What is that to the glorious self-renunciation of a martyr in pearls and + diamonds? As I saw this noble woman bending gracefully before the social + mendicant,—the white billows of her beauty heaving under the foam of + the traitorous laces that half revealed them,—I should have wept + with sympathetic emotion, but that tears, except as a private + demonstration, are an ill-disguised expression of self-consciousness and + vanity, which is inadmissible in good society. + </p> + <p> + I have sometimes thought, with a pang, of the position in which political + chance or contrivance might hereafter place some one of our + fellow-citizens. It has happened hitherto, so far as my limited knowledge + goes, that the President of the United States has always been what might + be called in general terms a gentleman. But what if at some future time + the choice of the people should fall upon one on whom that lofty title + could not, by any stretch of charity, be bestowed? This may happen,—how + soon the future only knows. Think of this miserable man of coming + political possibilities,—an unpresentable boor sucked into office by + one of those eddies in the flow of popular sentiment which carry straws + and chips into the public harbor, while the prostrate trunks of the + monarchs of the forest hurry down on the senseless stream to the gulf of + political oblivion! Think of him, I say, and of the concentrated gaze of + good society through its thousand eyes, all confluent, as it were, in one + great burning-glass of ice that shrivels its wretched object in fiery + torture, itself cold as the glacier of an unsunned cavern! No,—there + will be angels of good-breeding then as now, to shield the victim of free + institutions from himself and from his torturers. I can fancy a lovely + woman playfully withdrawing the knife which he would abuse by making it an + instrument for the conveyance of food,—or, failing in this kind + artifice, sacrificing herself by imitating his use of that implement; how + much harder than to plunge it into her bosom, like Lucretia! I can see her + studying in his provincial dialect until she becomes the Champollion of + New England or Western or Southern barbarisms. She has learned that haow + means what; that think-in' is the same thing as thinking, or she has found + out the meaning of that extraordinary mono syllable, which no + single-tongued phonographer can make legible, prevailing on the banks of + the Hudson and at its embouchure, and elsewhere,—what they say when + they think they say first, (fe-eest,—fe as in the French le),—or + that cheer means chair,—or that urritation means irritation,—and + so of other enormities. Nothing surprises her. The highest breeding, you + know, comes round to the Indian standard,—to take everything coolly,—nil + admirari,—if you happen to be learned and like the Roman phrase for + the same thing. + </p> + <p> + If you like the company of people that stare at you from head to foot to + see if there is a hole in your coat, or if you have not grown a little + older, or if your eyes are not yellow with jaundice, or if your complexion + is not a little faded, and so on, and then convey the fact to you, in the + style in which the Poor Relation addressed the divinity-student,—go + with them as much as you like. I hate the sight of the wretches. Don't for + mercy's sake think I hate them; the distinction is one my friend or I drew + long ago. No matter where you find such people; they are clowns. + </p> + <p> + The rich woman who looks and talks in this way is not half so much a lady + as her Irish servant, whose pretty “saving your presence,” when she has to + say something which offends her natural sense of good manners, has a hint + in it of the breeding of courts, and the blood of old Milesian kings, + which very likely runs in her veins,—thinned by two hundred years of + potato, which, being an underground fruit, tends to drag down the + generations that are made of it to the earth from which it came, and, + filling their veins with starch, turn them into a kind of human vegetable. + </p> + <p> + I say, if you like such people, go with them. But I am going to make a + practical application of the example at the beginning of this particular + record, which some young people who are going to choose professional + advisers by-and-by may remember and thank me for. If you are making choice + of a physician, be sure you get one, if possible, with a cheerful and + serene countenance. A physician is not—at least, ought not to be—an + executioner; and a sentence of death on his face is as bad as a warrant + for execution signed by the Governor. As a general rule, no man has a + right to tell another by word or look that he is going to die. It may be + necessary in some extreme cases; but as a rule, it is the last extreme of + impertinence which one human being can offer to another. “You have killed + me,” said a patient once to a physician who had rashly told him he was + incurable. He ought to have lived six months, but he was dead in six' + weeks. If we will only let Nature and the God of Nature alone, persons + will commonly learn their condition as early as they ought to know it, and + not be cheated out of their natural birthright of hope of recovery, which + is intended to accompany sick people as long as life is comfortable, and + is graciously replaced by the hope of heaven, or at least of rest, when + life has become a burden which the bearer is ready to let fall. + </p> + <p> + Underbred people tease their sick and dying friends to death. The chance + of a gentleman or lady with a given mortal ailment to live a certain time + is as good again as that of the common sort of coarse people. As you go + down the social scale, you reach a point at length where the common talk + in sick rooms is of churchyards and sepulchres, and a kind of perpetual + vivisection is forever carried on, upon the person of the miserable + sufferer. + </p> + <p> + And so, in choosing your clergyman, other things being equal, prefer the + one of a wholesome and cheerful habit of mind and body. If you can get + along with people who carry a certificate in their faces that their + goodness is so great as to make them very miserable, your children cannot. + And whatever offends one of these little ones cannot be right in the eyes + of Him who loved them so well. + </p> + <p> + After all, as you are a gentleman or a lady, you will probably select + gentlemen for your bodily and spiritual advisers, and then all will be + right. + </p> + <p> + This repetition of the above words,—gentleman and lady,—which + could not be conveniently avoided, reminds me what strange uses are made + of them by those who ought to know what they mean. Thus, at a marriage + ceremony, once, of two very excellent persons who had been at service, + instead of, Do you take this man, etc.? and, Do you take this woman? how + do you think the officiating clergyman put the questions? It was, Do you, + Miss So and So, take this GENTLEMAN? and, Do you, Mr. This or That, take + this LADY?! What would any English duchess, ay, or the Queen of England + herself, have thought, if the Archbishop of Canterbury had called her and + her bridegroom anything but plain woman and man at such a time? + </p> + <p> + I don't doubt the Poor Relation thought it was all very fine, if she + happened to be in the church; but if the worthy man who uttered these + monstrous words—monstrous in such a connection—had known the + ludicrous surprise, the convulsion of inward disgust and contempt, that + seized upon many of the persons who were present,—had guessed what a + sudden flash of light it threw on the Dutch gilding, the pinchbeck, the + shabby, perking pretension belonging to certain social layers,—so + inherent in their whole mode of being, that the holiest offices of + religion cannot exclude its impertinences,—the good man would have + given his marriage-fee twice over to recall that superb and full-blown + vulgarism. Any persons whom it could please could have no better notion of + what the words referred to signify than of the meaning of apsides and + asymptotes. + </p> + <p> + MAN! Sir! WOMAN! Sir! Gentility is a fine thing, not to be undervalued, as + I have been trying to explain; but humanity comes before that. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “When Adam delved and Eve span, + Who was then the gentleman?” + </pre> + <p> + The beauty of that plainness of speech and manners which comes from the + finest training is not to be understood by those whose habitat is below a + certain level. Just as the exquisite sea-anemones and all the graceful + ocean-flowers die out at some fathoms below the surface, the elegances and + suavities of life die out one by one as we sink through the social scale. + Fortunately, the virtues are more tenacious of life, and last pretty well + until we get down to the mud of absolute pauperism, where they do not + flourish greatly. + </p> + <p> + —I had almost forgotten about our boarders. As the Model of all the + Virtues is about to leave us, I find myself wondering what is the reason + we are not all very sorry. Surely we all like good persons. She is a good + person. Therefore we like her.—Only we don't. + </p> + <p> + This brief syllogism, and its briefer negative, involving the principle + which some English conveyancer borrowed from a French wit and embodied in + the lines by which Dr. Fell is made unamiably immortal, this syllogism, I + say, is one that most persons have had occasion to construct and demolish, + respecting somebody or other, as I have done for the Model. “Pious and + painefull.” Why has that excellent old phrase gone out of use? Simply + because these good painefull or painstaking persons proved to be such + nuisances in the long run, that the word “painefull” came, before people + thought of it, to mean pain-giving instead of painstaking. + </p> + <p> + —So, the old fellah's off to-morrah,—said the young man John. + </p> + <p> + Old fellow?—said I,—whom do you mean? + </p> + <p> + Why, the one that came with our little beauty, the old fellah in + petticoats. + </p> + <p> + —Now that means something,—said I to myself.—These rough + young rascals very often hit the nail on the head, if they do strike with + their eyes shut. A real woman does a great many things without knowing why + she does them; but these pattern machines mix up their intellects with + everything they do, just like men. They can't help it, no doubt; but we + can't help getting sick of them, either. Intellect is to a woman's nature + what her watch-spring skirt is to her dress; it ought to underlie her + silks and embroideries, but not to show itself too staringly on the + outside.—You don't know, perhaps, but I will tell you; the brain is + the palest of all the internal organs, and the heart the reddest. Whatever + comes from the brain carries the hue of the place it came from, and + whatever comes from the heart carries the heat and color of its + birthplace. + </p> + <p> + The young man John did not hear my soliloquy, of course, but sent up one + more bubble from our sinking conversation, in the form of a statement, + that she was at liberty to go to a personage who receives no visits, as is + commonly supposed, from virtuous people. + </p> + <p> + Why, I ask again, (of my reader,) should a person who never did anybody + any wrong, but, on the contrary, is an estimable and intelligent, nay, a + particularly enlightened and exemplary member of society, fail to inspire + interest, love, and devotion? Because of the reversed current in the flow + of thought and emotion. The red heart sends all its instincts up to the + white brain to be analyzed, chilled, blanched, and so become pure reason, + which is just exactly what we do not want of woman as woman. The current + should run the other-way. The nice, calm, cold thought, which in women + shapes itself so rapidly that they hardly know it as thought, should + always travel to the lips via the heart. It does so in those women whom + all love and admire. It travels the wrong way in the Model. That is the + reason why the Little Gentleman said “I hate her, I hate her.” That is the + reason why the young man John called her the “old fellah,” and banished + her to the company of the great Unpresentable. That is the reason why I, + the Professor, am picking her to pieces with scalpel and forceps. That is + the reason why the young girl whom she has befriended repays her kindness + with gratitude and respect, rather than with the devotion and passionate + fondness which lie sleeping beneath the calmness of her amber eyes. I can + see her, as she sits between this estimable and most correct of personages + and the misshapen, crotchety, often violent and explosive little man on + the other side of her, leaning and swaying towards him as she speaks, and + looking into his sad eyes as if she found some fountain in them at which + her soul could quiet its thirst. + </p> + <p> + Women like the Model are a natural product of a chilly climate and high + culture. It is not + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “The frolic wind that breathes the spring, + Zephyr with Aurora playing,” + </pre> + <p> + when the two meet + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “—on beds of violets blue, + And fresh-blown roses washed in dew,” + </pre> + <p> + that claim such women as their offspring. It is rather the east wind, as + it blows out of the fogs of Newfoundland, and clasps a clear-eyed wintry + noon on the chill bridal couch of a New England ice-quarry.—Don't + throw up your cap now, and hurrah as if this were giving up everything, + and turning against the best growth of our latitudes,—the daughters + of the soil. The brain-women never interest us like the heart women; white + roses please less than red. But our Northern seasons have a narrow green + streak of spring, as well as a broad white zone of winter,—they have + a glowing band of summer and a golden stripe of autumn in their + many-colored wardrobe; and women are born to us that wear all these hues + of earth and heaven in their souls. Our ice-eyed brain-women are really + admirable, if we only ask of them just what they can give, and no more. + Only compare them, talking or writing, with one of those babbling, + chattering dolls, of warmer latitudes, who do not know enough even to keep + out of print, and who are interesting to us only as specimens of arrest of + development for our psychological cabinets. + </p> + <p> + Good-bye, Model of all the Virtues! We can spare you now. A little clear + perfection, undiluted with human weakness, goes a great way. Go! be + useful, be honorable and honored, be just, be charitable, talk pure + reason, and help to disenchant the world by the light of an achromatic + understanding. Goodbye! Where is my Beranger? I must read a verse or two + of “Fretillon.” + </p> + <p> + Fair play for all. But don't claim incompatible qualities for anybody. + Justice is a very rare virtue in our community. Everything that public + sentiment cares about is put into a Papin's digester, and boiled under + high pressure till all is turned into one homogeneous pulp, and the very + bones give up their jelly. What are all the strongest epithets of our + dictionary to us now? The critics and politicians, and especially the + philanthropists, have chewed them, till they are mere wads of + syllable-fibre, without a suggestion of their old pungency and power. + </p> + <p> + Justice! A good man respects the rights even of brute matter and arbitrary + symbols. If he writes the same word twice in succession, by accident, he + always erases the one that stands second; has not the first-comer the + prior right? This act of abstract justice, which I trust many of my + readers, like myself, have often performed, is a curious + anti-illustration, by the way, of the absolute wickedness of human + dispositions. Why doesn't a man always strike out the first of the two + words, to gratify his diabolical love of injustice? + </p> + <p> + So, I say, we owe a genuine, substantial tribute of respect to these + filtered intellects which have left their womanhood on the strainer. They + are so clear that it is a pleasure at times to look at the world of + thought through them. But the rose and purple tints of richer natures they + cannot give us, and it is not just to them to ask it. + </p> + <p> + Fashionable society gets at these rich natures very often in a way one + would hardly at first think of. It loves vitality above all things, + sometimes disguised by affected languor, always well kept under by the + laws of good-breeding,—but still it loves abundant life, opulent and + showy organizations,—the spherical rather than the plane + trigonometry of female architecture,—plenty of red blood, flashing + eyes, tropical voices, and forms that bear the splendors of dress without + growing pale beneath their lustre. Among these you will find the most + delicious women you will ever meet,—women whom dress and flattery + and the round of city gayeties cannot spoil,—talking with whom, you + forget their diamonds and laces,—and around whom all the nice + details of elegance, which the cold-blooded beauty next them is scanning + so nicely, blend in one harmonious whole, too perfect to be disturbed by + the petulant sparkle of a jewel, or the yellow glare of a bangle, or the + gay toss of a feather. + </p> + <p> + There are many things that I, personally, love better than fashion or + wealth. Not to speak of those highest objects of our love and loyalty, I + think I love ease and independence better than the golden slavery of + perpetual matinees and soirees, or the pleasures of accumulation. + </p> + <p> + But fashion and wealth are two very solemn realities, which the frivolous + class of moralists have talked a great deal of silly stuff about. Fashion + is only the attempt to realize Art in living forms and social intercourse. + What business has a man who knows nothing about the beautiful, and cannot + pronounce the word view, to talk about fashion to a set of people who, if + one of the quality left a card at their doors, would contrive to keep it + on the very top of their heap of the names of their two-story + acquaintances, till it was as yellow as the Codex Vaticanus? + </p> + <p> + Wealth, too,—what an endless repetition of the same foolish + trivialities about it! Take the single fact of its alleged uncertain + tenure and transitory character. In old times, when men were all the time + fighting and robbing each other,—in those tropical countries where + the Sabeans and the Chaldeans stole all a man's cattle and camels, and + there were frightful tornadoes and rains of fire from heaven, it was true + enough that riches took wings to themselves not unfrequently in a very + unexpected way. But, with common prudence in investments, it is not so + now. In fact, there is nothing earthly that lasts so well, on the whole, + as money. A man's learning dies with him; even his virtues fade out of + remembrance, but the dividends on the stocks he bequeaths to his children + live and keep his memory green. + </p> + <p> + I do not think there is much courage or originality in giving utterance to + truths that everybody knows, but which get overlaid by conventional + trumpery. The only distinction which it is necessary to point out to + feeble-minded folk is this: that, in asserting the breadth and depth of + that significance which gives to fashion and fortune their tremendous + power, we do not indorse the extravagances which often disgrace the one, + nor the meanness which often degrades the other. + </p> + <p> + A remark which seems to contradict a universally current opinion is not + generally to be taken “neat,” but watered with the ideas of common-sense + and commonplace people. So, if any of my young friends should be tempted + to waste their substance on white kids and “all-rounds,” or to insist on + becoming millionaires at once, by anything I have said, I will give them + references to some of the class referred to, well known to the public as + providers of literary diluents, who will weaken any truth so that there is + not an old woman in the land who cannot take it with perfect impunity. + </p> + <p> + I am afraid some of the blessed saints in diamonds will think I mean to + flatter them. I hope not;—if I do, set it down as a weakness. But + there is so much foolish talk about wealth and fashion, (which, of course, + draw a good many heartless and essentially vulgar people into the glare of + their candelabra, but which have a real respectability and meaning, if we + will only look at them stereoscopically, with both eyes instead of one,) + that I thought it a duty to speak a few words for them. Why can't somebody + give us a list of things that everybody thinks and nobody says, and + another list of things that everybody says and nobody thinks? + </p> + <p> + Lest my parish should suppose we have forgotten graver matters in these + lesser topics, I beg them to drop these trifles and read the following + lesson for the day. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + THE TWO STREAMS. + + Behold the rocky wall + That down its sloping sides + Pours the swift rain-drops, blending, as they fall, + In rushing river-tides! + + Yon stream, whose sources run + Turned by a pebble's edge, + Is Athabasca, rolling toward the sun + Through the cleft mountain-ledge. + + The slender rill had strayed, + But for the slanting stone, + To evening's ocean, with the tangled braid + Of foam-flecked Oregon. + + So from the heights of Will + Life's parting stream descends, + And, as a moment turns its slender rill, + Each widening torrent bends, + + From the same cradle's side, + From the same mother's knee, + —One to long darkness and the frozen tide, + One to the Peaceful Sea! +</pre> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0010" id="link2H_4_0010"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + VII + </h2> + <p> + Our landlady's daughter is a young lady of some pretensions to gentility. + She wears her bonnet well back on her head, which is known by all to be a + mark of high breeding. She wears her trains very long, as the great ladies + do in Europe. To be sure, their dresses are so made only to sweep the + tapestried floors of chateaux and palaces; as those odious aristocrats of + the other side do not go draggling through the mud in silks and satins, + but, forsooth, must ride in coaches when they are in full dress. It is + true, that, considering various habits of the American people, also the + little accidents which the best-kept sidewalks are liable to, a lady who + has swept a mile of them is not exactly in such a condition that one would + care to be her neighbor. But then there is no need of being so hard on + these slight weaknesses of the poor, dear women as our little deformed + gentleman was the other day. + </p> + <p> + —There are no such women as the Boston women, Sir,—he said. + Forty-two degrees, north latitude, Rome, Sir, Boston, Sir! They had grand + women in old Rome, Sir,—and the women bore such men—children + as never the world saw before. And so it was here, Sir. I tell you, the + revolution the Boston boys started had to run in woman's milk before it + ran in man's blood, Sir! + </p> + <p> + But confound the make-believe women we have turned loose in our streets!—where + do they come from? Not out of Boston parlors, I trust. Why, there is n't a + beast or a bird that would drag its tail through the dirt in the way these + creatures do their dresses. Because a queen or a duchess wears long robes + on great occasions, a maid-of-all-work or a factory-girl thinks she must + make herself a nuisance by trailing through the street, picking up and + carrying about with her pah!—that's what I call getting vulgarity + into your bones and marrow. Making believe be what you are not is the + essence of vulgarity. Show over dirt is the one attribute of vulgar + people. If any man can walk behind one of these women and see what she + rakes up as she goes, and not feel squeamish, he has got a tough stomach. + I wouldn't let one of 'em into my room without serving 'em as David served + Saul at the cave in the wilderness,—cut off his skirts, Sir! cut off + his skirts! + </p> + <p> + I suggested, that I had seen some pretty stylish ladies who offended in + the way he condemned. + </p> + <p> + Stylish women, I don't doubt,—said the Little Gentleman.—Don't + tell me that a true lady ever sacrifices the duty of keeping all about her + sweet and clean to the wish of making a vulgar show. I won't believe it of + a lady. There are some things that no fashion has any right to touch, and + cleanliness is one of those things. If a woman wishes to show that her + husband or her father has got money, which she wants and means to spend, + but doesn't know how, let her buy a yard or two of silk and pin it to her + dress when she goes out to walk, but let her unpin it before she goes into + the house;—there may be poor women that will think it worth + disinfecting. It is an insult to a respectable laundress to carry such + things into a house for her to deal with. I don't like the Bloomers any + too well,—in fact, I never saw but one, and she—or he, or it—had + a mob of boys after her, or whatever you call the creature, as if she had + been a—— + </p> + <p> + The Little Gentleman stopped short,—flushed somewhat, and looked + round with that involuntary, suspicious glance which the subjects of any + bodily misfortune are very apt to cast round them. His eye wandered over + the company, none of whom, excepting myself and one other, had, probably, + noticed the movement. They fell at last on Iris,—his next neighbor, + you remember. + </p> + <p> + —We know in a moment, on looking suddenly at a person, if that + person's eyes have been fixed on us. + </p> + <p> + Sometimes we are conscious of it before we turn so as to see the person. + Strange secrets of curiosity, of impertinence, of malice, of love, leak + out in this way. There is no need of Mrs. Felix Lorraine's reflection in + the mirror, to tell us that she is plotting evil for us behind our backs. + We know it, as we know by the ominous stillness of a child that some + mischief or other is going-on. A young girl betrays, in a moment, that her + eyes have been feeding on the face where you find them fixed, and not + merely brushing over it with their pencils of blue or brown light. + </p> + <p> + A certain involuntary adjustment assimilates us, you may also observe, to + that upon which we look. Roses redden the cheeks of her who stoops to + gather them, and buttercups turn little people's chins yellow. When we + look at a vast landscape, our chests expand as if we would enlarge to fill + it. When we examine a minute object, we naturally contract, not only our + foreheads, but all our dimensions. If I see two men wrestling, I wrestle + too, with my limbs and features. When a country-fellow comes upon the + stage, you will see twenty faces in the boxes putting on the bumpkin + expression. There is no need of multiplying instances to reach this + generalization; every person and thing we look upon puts its special mark + upon us. If this is repeated often enough, we get a permanent resemblance + to it, or, at least, a fixed aspect which we took from it. Husband and + wife come to look alike at last, as has often been noticed. It is a common + saying of a jockey, that he is “all horse”; and I have often fancied that + milkmen get a stiff, upright carriage, and an angular movement of the arm, + that remind one of a pump and the working of its handle. + </p> + <p> + All this came in by accident, just because I happened to mention that the + Little Gentleman found that Iris had been looking at him with her soul in + her eyes, when his glance rested on her after wandering round the company. + What he thought, it is hard to say; but the shadow of suspicion faded off + from his face, and he looked calmly into the amber eyes, resting his cheek + upon the hand that wore the red jewel. + </p> + <p> + —If it were a possible thing,—women are such strange + creatures! Is there any trick that love and their own fancies do not play + them? Just see how they marry! A woman that gets hold of a bit of manhood + is like one of those Chinese wood-carvers who work on any odd, fantastic + root that comes to hand, and, if it is only bulbous above and bifurcated + below, will always contrive to make a man—such as he is—out of + it. I should like to see any kind of a man, distinguishable from a + Gorilla, that some good and even pretty woman could not shape a husband + out of. + </p> + <p> + —A child,—yes, if you choose to call her so, but such a child! + Do you know how Art brings all ages together? There is no age to the + angels and ideal human forms among which the artist lives, and he shares + their youth until his hand trembles and his eye grows dim. The youthful + painter talks of white-bearded Leonardo as if he were a brother, and the + veteran forgets that Raphael died at an age to which his own is of + patriarchal antiquity. + </p> + <p> + But why this lover of the beautiful should be so drawn to one whom Nature + has wronged so deeply seems hard to explain. Pity, I suppose. They say + that leads to love. + </p> + <p> + —I thought this matter over until I became excited and curious, and + determined to set myself more seriously at work to find out what was going + on in these wild hearts and where their passionate lives were drifting. I + say wild hearts and passionate lives, because I think I can look through + this seeming calmness of youth and this apparent feebleness of + organization, and see that Nature, whom it is very hard to cheat, is only + waiting as the sapper waits in his mine, knowing that all is in readiness + and the slow-match burning quietly down to the powder. He will leave it + by-and-by, and then it will take care of itself. + </p> + <p> + One need not wait to see the smoke coming through the roof of a house and + the flames breaking out of the windows to know that the building is on + fire. Hark! There is a quiet, steady, unobtrusive, crisp, not loud, but + very knowing little creeping crackle that is tolerably intelligible. There + is a whiff of something floating about, suggestive of toasting shingles. + Also a sharp pyroligneous-acid pungency in the air that stings one's eyes. + Let us get up and see what is going on.—Oh,—oh,—oh! do + you know what has got hold of you? It is the great red dragon that is born + of the little red eggs we call sparks, with his hundred blowing red manes, + and his thousand lashing red tails, and his multitudinous red eyes glaring + at every crack and key-hole, and his countless red tongues lapping the + beams he is going to crunch presently, and his hot breath warping the + panels and cracking the glass and making old timber sweat that had + forgotten it was ever alive with sap. Run for your life! leap! or you will + be a cinder in five minutes, that nothing but a coroner would take for the + wreck of a human being! + </p> + <p> + If any gentleman will have the kindness to stop this run-away comparison, + I shall be much obliged to him. All I intended to say was, that we need + not wait for hearts to break out in flames to know that they are full of + combustibles and that a spark has got among them. I don't pretend to say + or know what it is that brings these two persons together;—and when + I say together, I only mean that there is an evident affinity of some kind + or other which makes their commonest intercourse strangely significant, as + that each seems to understand a look or a word of the other. When the + young girl laid her hand on the Little Gentleman's arm,—which so + greatly shocked the Model, you may remember,—I saw that she had + learned the lion-tamer's secret. She masters him, and yet I can see she + has a kind of awe of him, as the man who goes into the cage has of the + monster that he makes a baby of. + </p> + <p> + One of two things must happen. The first is love, downright love, on the + part of this young girl, for the poor little misshapen man. You may laugh, + if you like. But women are apt to love the men who they think have the + largest capacity of loving;—and who can love like one that has + thirsted all his life long for the smile of youth and beauty, and seen it + fly his presence as the wave ebbed from the parched lips of him whose + fabled punishment is the perpetual type of human longing and + disappointment? What would become of him, if this fresh soul should stoop + upon him in her first young passion, as the flamingo drops out of the sky + upon some lonely and dark lagoon in the marshes of Cagliari, with a + flutter of scarlet feathers and a kindling of strange fires in the shadowy + waters that hold her burning image? + </p> + <p> + —Marry her, of course?—Why, no, not of course. I should think + the chance less, on the whole, that he would be willing to marry her than + she to marry him. + </p> + <p> + There is one other thing that might happen. If the interest he awakes in + her gets to be a deep one, and yet has nothing of love in it, she will + glance off from him into some great passion or other. All excitements run + to love in women of a certain—let us not say age, but youth. An + electrical current passing through a coil of wire makes a magnet of a bar + of iron lying within it, but not touching it. So a woman is turned into a + love-magnet by a tingling current of life running round her. I should like + to see one of them balanced on a pivot properly adjusted, and watch if she + did not turn so as to point north and south,—as she would, if the + love-currents are like those of the earth our mother. + </p> + <p> + Pray, do you happen to remember Wordsworth's “Boy of Windermere”? This boy + used to put his hands to his mouth, and shout aloud, mimicking the hooting + of the owls, who would answer him + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “with quivering peals, + And long halloos and screams, and echoes loud + Redoubled and redoubled.” + </pre> + <p> + When they failed to answer him, and he hung listening intently for their + voices, he would sometimes catch the faint sound of far distant + waterfalls, or the whole scene around him would imprint itself with new + force upon his perceptions.—Read the sonnet, if you please;—it + is Wordsworth all over,—trivial in subject, solemn in style, vivid + in description, prolix in detail, true metaphysically, but immensely + suggestive of “imagination,” to use a mild term, when related as an actual + fact of a sprightly youngster. All I want of it is to enforce the + principle, that, when the door of the soul is once opened to a guest, + there is no knowing who will come in next. + </p> + <p> + —Our young girl keeps up her early habit of sketching heads and + characters. Nobody is, I should think, more faithful and exact in the + drawing of the academical figures given her as lessons, but there is a + perpetual arabesque of fancies that runs round the margin of her drawings, + and there is one book which I know she keeps to run riot in, where, if + anywhere, a shrewd eye would be most likely to read her thoughts. This + book of hers I mean to see, if I can get at it honorably. + </p> + <p> + I have never yet crossed the threshold of the Little Gentleman's chamber. + How he lives, when he once gets within it, I can only guess. His hours are + late, as I have said; often, on waking late in the night, I see the light + through cracks in his window-shutters on the wall of the house opposite. + If the times of witchcraft were not over, I should be afraid to be so + close a neighbor to a place from which there come such strange noises. + Sometimes it is the dragging of something heavy over the floor, that makes + me shiver to hear it,—it sounds so like what people that kill other + people have to do now and then. Occasionally I hear very sweet strains of + music,—whether of a wind or stringed instrument, or a human voice, + strange as it may seem, I have often tried to find out, but through the + partition I could not be quite sure. If I have not heard a woman cry and + moan, and then again laugh as though she would die laughing, I have heard + sounds so like them that—I am a fool to confess it—I have + covered my head with the bedclothes; for I have had a fancy in my dreams, + that I could hardly shake off when I woke up, about that so-called witch + that was his great-grandmother, or whatever it was,—a sort of fancy + that she visited the Little Gentleman,—a young woman in + old-fashioned dress, with a red ring round her white neck,—not a + neck-lace, but a dull-stain. + </p> + <p> + Of course you don't suppose that I have any foolish superstitions about + the matter,—I, the Professor, who have seen enough to take all that + nonsense out of any man's head! It is not our beliefs that frighten us + half so much as our fancies. A man not only believes, but knows he runs a + risk, whenever he steps into a railroad car; but it does n't worry him + much. On the other hand, carry that man across a pasture a little way from + some dreary country-village, and show him an old house where there were + strange deaths a good many years ago, and there are rumors of ugly spots + on the walls,—the old man hung himself in the garret, that is + certain, and ever since the country-people have called it “the haunted + house,”—the owners have n't been able to let it since the last + tenants left on account of the noises,—so it has fallen into sad + decay, and the moss grows on the rotten shingles of the roof, and the + clapboards have turned black, and the windows rattle like teeth that + chatter with fear, and the walls of the house begin to lean as if its + knees were shaking, —take the man who did n't mind the real risk of + the cars to that old house, on some dreary November evening, and ask him + to sleep there alone,—how do you think he will like it? He doesn't + believe one word of ghosts,—but then he knows, that, whether waking + or sleeping, his imagination will people the haunted chambers with ghostly + images. It is not what we believe, as I said before, that frightens us + commonly, but what we conceive. A principle that reaches a good way if I + am not mistaken. I say, then, that, if these odd sounds coming from the + Little Gentleman's chamber sometimes make me nervous, so that I cannot get + to sleep, it is not because I suppose he is engaged in any unlawful or + mysterious way. The only wicked suggestion that ever came into my head was + one that was founded on the landlady's story of his having a pile of gold; + it was a ridiculous fancy; besides, I suspect the story of sweating gold + was only one of the many fables got up to make the Jews odious and afford + a pretext for plundering them. As for the sound like a woman laughing and + crying, I never said it was a woman's voice; for, in the first place, I + could only hear indistinctly; and, secondly, he may have an organ, or some + queer instrument or other, with what they call the vox humana stop. If he + moves his bed round to get away from the window, or for any such reason, + there is nothing very frightful in that simple operation. Most of our + foolish conceits explain themselves in some such simple way. And, yet, for + all that, I confess, that, when I woke up the other evening, and heard, + first a sweet complaining cry, and then footsteps, and then the dragging + sound,—nothing but his bed, I am quite sure,—I felt a stirring + in the roots of my hair as the feasters did in Keats's terrible poem of + “Lamia.” + </p> + <p> + There is nothing very odd in my feeling nervous when I happen to lie awake + and get listening for sounds. Just keep your ears open any time after + midnight, when you are lying in bed in a lone attic of a dark night. What + horrid, strange, suggestive, unaccountable noises you will hear! The + stillness of night is a vulgar error. All the dead things seem to be + alive. Crack! That is the old chest of drawers; you never hear it crack in + the daytime. Creak! There's a door ajar; you know you shut them all. + </p> + <p> + Where can that latch be that rattles so? Is anybody trying it softly? or, + worse than any body, is——? (Cold shiver.) Then a sudden gust + that jars all the windows;—very strange!—there does not seem + to be any wind about that it belongs to. When it stops, you hear the worms + boring in the powdery beams overhead. Then steps outside,—a stray + animal, no doubt. All right,—but a gentle moisture breaks out all + over you; and then something like a whistle or a cry,—another gust + of wind, perhaps; that accounts for the rustling that just made your heart + roll over and tumble about, so that it felt more like a live rat under + your ribs than a part of your own body; then a crash of something that has + fallen,—blown over, very likely——Pater noster, qui es in + coelis! for you are damp and cold, and sitting bolt upright, and the bed + trembling so that the death-watch is frightened and has stopped ticking! + </p> + <p> + No,—night is an awful time for strange noises and secret doings. Who + ever dreamed, till one of our sleepless neighbors told us of it, of that + Walpurgis gathering of birds and beasts of prey,—foxes, and owls, + and crows, and eagles, that come from all the country round on moonshiny + nights to crunch the clams and muscles, and pick out the eyes of dead + fishes that the storm has thrown on Chelsea Beach? Our old mother Nature + has pleasant and cheery tones enough for us when she comes in her dress of + blue and gold over the eastern hill-tops; but when she follows us + up-stairs to our beds in her suit of black velvet and diamonds, every + creak of her sandals and every whisper of her lips is full of mystery and + fear. + </p> + <p> + You understand, then, distinctly, that I do not believe there is anything + about this singular little neighbor of mine which is as it should not be. + Probably a visit to his room would clear up all that has puzzled me, and + make me laugh at the notions which began, I suppose, in nightmares, and + ended by keeping my imagination at work so as almost to make me + uncomfortable at times. But it is not so easy to visit him as some of our + other boarders, for various reasons which I will not stop to mention. I + think some of them are rather pleased to get “the Professor” under their + ceilings. + </p> + <p> + The young man John, for instance, asked me to come up one day and try some + “old Burbon,” which he said was A 1. On asking him what was the number of + his room, he answered, that it was forty-'leven, sky-parlor floor, but + that I shouldn't find it, if he did n't go ahead to show me the way. I + followed him to his habitat, being very willing to see in what kind of + warren he burrowed, and thinking I might pick up something about the + boarders who had excited my curiosity. + </p> + <p> + Mighty close quarters they were where the young man John bestowed himself + and his furniture; this last consisting of a bed, a chair, a bureau, a + trunk, and numerous pegs with coats and “pants” and “vests,”—as he + was in the habit of calling waist-coats and pantaloons or trousers,—hanging + up as if the owner had melted out of them. Several prints were pinned up + unframed,—among them that grand national portrait-piece, “Barnum + presenting Ossian E. Dodge to Jenny Lind,” and a picture of a famous trot, + in which I admired anew the cabalistic air of that imposing array of + expressions, and especially the Italicized word, “Dan Mace names b. h. + Major Slocum,” and “Hiram Woodruff names g. m. Lady Smith.” “Best three in + five. Time: 2.40, 2.46, 2.50.” + </p> + <p> + That set me thinking how very odd this matter of trotting horses is, as an + index of the mathematical exactness of the laws of living mechanism. I saw + Lady Suffolk trot a mile in 2.26. Flora Temple has trotted close down to + 2.20; and Ethan Allen in 2.25, or less. Many horses have trotted their + mile under 2.30; none that I remember in public as low down as 2.20. From + five to ten seconds, then, in about a hundred and sixty is the whole range + of the maxima of the present race of trotting horses. The same thing is + seen in the running of men. Many can run a mile in five minutes; but when + one comes to the fractions below, they taper down until somewhere about + 4.30 the maximum is reached. Averages of masses have been studied more + than averages of maxima and minima. We know from the Registrar-General's + Reports, that a certain number of children—say from one to two dozen—die + every year in England from drinking hot water out of spouts of teakettles. + We know, that, among suicides, women and men past a certain age almost + never use fire-arms. A woman who has made up her mind to die is still + afraid of a pistol or a gun. Or is it that the explosion would derange her + costume? + </p> + <p> + I say, averages of masses we have, but our tables of maxima we owe to the + sporting men more than to the philosophers. The lesson their experience + teaches is, that Nature makes no leaps,—does nothing per saltum. The + greatest brain that ever lived, no doubt, was only a small fraction of an + idea ahead of the second best. Just look at the chess-players. Leaving out + the phenomenal exceptions, the nice shades that separate the skilful ones + show how closely their brains approximate,—almost as closely as + chronometers. Such a person is a “knight-player,”—he must have that + piece given him. Another must have two pawns. Another, “pawn and two,” or + one pawn and two moves. Then we find one who claims “pawn and move,” + holding himself, with this fractional advantage, a match for one who would + be pretty sure to beat him playing even.—So much are minds alike; + and you and I think we are “peculiar,”—that Nature broke her + jelly-mould after shaping our cerebral convolutions. So I reflected, + standing and looking at the picture. + </p> + <p> + —I say, Governor,—broke in the young man John,—them + bosses '11 stay jest as well, if you'll only set down. I've had 'em this + year, and they haven't stirred.—He spoke, and handed the chair + towards me,—seating himself, at the same time, on the end of the + bed. + </p> + <p> + You have lived in this house some time?—I said,—with a note of + interrogation at the end of the statement. + </p> + <p> + Do I look as if I'd lost much flesh—said he, answering my question + by another. + </p> + <p> + No,—said I;—for that matter, I think you do credit to “the + bountifully furnished table of the excellent lady who provides so + liberally for the company that meets around her hospitable board.” + </p> + <p> + [The sentence in quotation-marks was from one of those disinterested + editorials in small type, which I suspect to have been furnished by a + friend of the landlady's, and paid for as an advertisement. This impartial + testimony to the superior qualities of the establishment and its head + attracted a number of applicants for admission, and a couple of new + boarders made a brief appearance at the table. One of them was of the + class of people who grumble if they don't get canvas-backs and woodcocks + every day, for three-fifty per week. The other was subject to + somnambulism, or walking in the night, when he ought to have been asleep + in his bed. In this state he walked into several of the boarders' + chambers, his eyes wide open, as is usual with somnambulists, and, from + some odd instinct or other, wishing to know what the hour was, got + together a number of their watches, for the purpose of comparing them, as + it would seem. Among them was a repeater, belonging to our young + Marylander. He happened to wake up while the somnambulist was in his + chamber, and, not knowing his infirmity, caught hold of him and gave him a + dreadful shaking, after which he tied his hands and feet, and so left him + till morning, when he introduced him to a gentleman used to taking care of + such cases of somnambulism.] + </p> + <p> + If you, my reader, will please to skip backward, over this parenthesis, + you will come to our conversation, which it has interrupted. + </p> + <p> + It a'n't the feed,—said the young man John,—it's the old + woman's looks when a fellah lays it in too strong. The feed's well enough. + After geese have got tough, 'n' turkeys have got strong, 'n' lamb's got + old, 'n' veal's pretty nigh beef, 'n' sparragrass 's growin' tall 'n' slim + 'n' scattery about the head, 'n' green peas are gettin' so big 'n' hard + they'd be dangerous if you fired 'em out of a revolver, we get hold of all + them delicacies of the season. But it's too much like feedin' on live + folks and devourin' widdah's substance, to lay yourself out in the eatin' + way, when a fellah 's as hungry as the chap that said a turkey was too + much for one 'n' not enough for two. I can't help lookin' at the old + woman. Corned-beef-days she's tolerable calm. Roastin'-days she worries + some, 'n' keeps a sharp eye on the chap that carves. But when there's + anything in the poultry line, it seems to hurt her feelin's so to see the + knife goin' into the breast and joints comin' to pieces, that there's no + comfort in eatin'. When I cut up an old fowl and help the boarders, I + always feel as if I ought to say, Won't you have a slice of widdah?—instead + of chicken. + </p> + <p> + The young man John fell into a train of reflections which ended in his + producing a Bologna sausage, a plate of “crackers,” as we Boston folks + call certain biscuits, and the bottle of whiskey described as being A 1. + </p> + <p> + Under the influence of the crackers and sausage, he grew cordial and + communicative. + </p> + <p> + It was time, I thought, to sound him as to those of our boarders who had + excited my curiosity. + </p> + <p> + What do you think of our young Iris?—I began. + </p> + <p> + Fust-rate little filly;-he said.—Pootiest and nicest little chap + I've seen since the schoolma'am left. Schoolma'am was a brown-haired one,—eyes + coffee-color. This one has got wine-colored eyes,—'n' that 's the + reason they turn a fellah's head, I suppose. + </p> + <p> + This is a splendid blonde,—I said,—the other was a brunette. + Which style do you like best? + </p> + <p> + Which do I like best, boiled mutton or roast mutton?—said the young + man John. Like 'em both,—it a'n't the color of 'em makes the + goodness. I 've been kind of lonely since schoolma'am went away. Used to + like to look at her. I never said anything particular to her, that I + remember, but— + </p> + <p> + I don't know whether it was the cracker and sausage, or that the young + fellow's feet were treading on the hot ashes of some longing that had not + had time to cool, but his eye glistened as he stopped. + </p> + <p> + I suppose she wouldn't have looked at a fellah like me,—he said,—but + I come pretty near tryin'. If she had said, Yes, though, I shouldn't have + known what to have done with her. Can't marry a woman now-a-days till + you're so deaf you have to cock your head like a parrot to hear what she + says, and so longsighted you can't see what she looks like nearer than + arm's-length. + </p> + <p> + Here is another chance for you,—I said.—What do you want nicer + than such a young lady as Iris? + </p> + <p> + It's no use,—he answered.—I look at them girls and feel as the + fellah did when he missed catchin' the trout.—'To'od 'a' cost more + butter to cook him 'n' he's worth,—says the fellah.—Takes a + whole piece o' goods to cover a girl up now-a-days. I'd as lief undertake + to keep a span of elephants,—and take an ostrich to board, too,—as + to marry one of 'em. What's the use? Clerks and counter-jumpers ain't + anything. Sparragrass and green peas a'n't for them,—not while + they're young and tender. Hossback-ridin' a'n't for them,—except + once a year, on Fast-day. And marryin' a'n't for them. Sometimes a fellah + feels lonely, and would like to have a nice young woman, to tell her how + lonely he feels. And sometimes a fellah,—here the young man John + looked very confidential, and, perhaps, as if a little ashamed of his + weakness,—sometimes a fellah would like to have one o' them small + young ones to trot on his knee and push about in a little wagon,—a + kind of a little Johnny, you know;—it's odd enough, but, it seems to + me, nobody can afford them little articles, except the folks that are so + rich they can buy everything, and the folks that are so poor they don't + want anything. It makes nice boys of us young fellahs, no doubt! And it's + pleasant to see fine young girls sittin', like shopkeepers behind their + goods, waitin', and waitin', and waitin', 'n' no customers,—and the + men lingerin' round and lookin' at the goods, like folks that want to be + customers, but have n't the money! + </p> + <p> + Do you think the deformed gentleman means to make love to Iris?—I + said. + </p> + <p> + What! Little Boston ask that girl to marry him! Well, now, that's cumin' + of it a little too strong. Yes, I guess she will marry him and carry him + round in a basket, like a lame bantam: Look here!—he said, + mysteriously;—one of the boarders swears there's a woman comes to + see him, and that he has heard her singin' and screechin'. I should like + to know what he's about in that den of his. He lays low 'n' keeps dark,—and, + I tell you, there's a good many of the boarders would like to get into his + chamber, but he don't seem to want 'em. Biddy could tell somethin' about + what she's seen when she 's been to put his room to rights. She's a Paddy + 'n' a fool, but she knows enough to keep her tongue still. All I know is, + I saw her crossin' herself one day when she came out of that room. She + looked pale enough, 'n' I heard her mutterin' somethin' or other about the + Blessed Virgin. If it had n't been for the double doors to that chamber of + his, I'd have had a squint inside before this; but, somehow or other, it + never seems to happen that they're both open at once. + </p> + <p> + What do you think he employs himself about? said I. + </p> + <p> + The young man John winked. + </p> + <p> + I waited patiently for the thought, of which this wink was the blossom, to + come to fruit in words. + </p> + <p> + I don't believe in witches,—said the young man John. + </p> + <p> + Nor I. + </p> + <p> + We were both silent for a few minutes. + </p> + <p> + —Did you ever see the young girl's drawing-books,—I said, + presently. + </p> + <p> + All but one,—he answered;—she keeps a lock on that, and won't + show it. Ma'am Allen, (the young rogue sticks to that name, in speaking of + the gentleman with the diamond,) Ma'am Allen tried to peek into it one day + when she left it on the sideboard. “If you please,” says she,—'n' + took it from him, 'n' gave him a look that made him curl up like a + caterpillar on a hot shovel. I only wished he had n't, and had jest given + her a little sass, for I've been takin' boxin'-lessons, 'n' I 've got a + new way of counterin' I want to try on to somebody. + </p> + <p> + —The end of all this was, that I came away from the young fellow's + room, feeling that there were two principal things that I had to live for, + for the next six weeks or six months, if it should take so long. These + were, to get a sight of the young girl's drawing-book, which I suspected + had her heart shut up in it, and to get a look into the Little Gentleman's + room. + </p> + <p> + I don't doubt you think it rather absurd that I should trouble myself + about these matters. You tell me, with some show of reason, that all I + shall find in the young girl's—book will be some outlines of angels + with immense eyes, traceries of flowers, rural sketches, and caricatures, + among which I shall probably have the pleasure of seeing my own features + figuring. Very likely. But I'll tell you what I think I shall find. If + this child has idealized the strange little bit of humanity over which she + seems to have spread her wings like a brooding dove,—if, in one of + those wild vagaries that passionate natures are so liable to, she has + fairly sprung upon him with her clasping nature, as the sea-flowers fold + about the first stray shell-fish that brushes their outspread tentacles, + depend upon it, I shall find the marks of it in this drawing-book of hers,—if + I can ever get a look at it,—fairly, of course, for I would not play + tricks to satisfy my curiosity. + </p> + <p> + Then, if I can get into this Little Gentleman's room under any fair + pretext, I shall, no doubt, satisfy myself in five minutes that he is just + like other people, and that there is no particular mystery about him. + </p> + <p> + The night after my visit to the young man John, I made all these and many + more reflections. It was about two o'clock in the morning,—bright + starlight,—so light that I could make out the time on my + alarm-clock,—when I woke up trembling and very moist. It was the + heavy dragging sound, as I had often heard it before that waked me. + Presently a window was softly closed. I had just begun to get over the + agitation with which we always awake from nightmare dreams, when I heard + the sound which seemed to me as of a woman's voice,—the clearest, + purest soprano which one could well conceive of. It was not loud, and I + could not distinguish a word, if it was a woman's voice; but there were + recurring phrases of sound and snatches of rhythm that reached me, which + suggested the idea of complaint, and sometimes, I thought, of passionate + grief and despair. It died away at last,—and then I heard the + opening of a door, followed by a low, monotonous sound, as of one talking,—and + then the closing of a door,—and presently the light on the opposite + wall disappeared and all was still for the night. + </p> + <p> + By George! this gets interesting,—I said, as I got out of bed for a + change of night-clothes. + </p> + <p> + I had this in my pocket the other day, but thought I would n't read it at + our celebration. So I read it to the boarders instead, and print it to + finish off this record with. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + ROBINSON OF LEYDEN. + + He sleeps not here; in hope and prayer + His wandering flock had gone before, + But he, the shepherd, might not share + Their sorrows on the wintry shore. + + Before the Speedwell's anchor swung, + Ere yet the Mayflower's sail was spread, + While round his feet the Pilgrims clung, + The pastor spake, and thus he said:— + + “Men, brethren, sisters, children dear! + God calls you hence from over sea; + Ye may not build by Haerlem Meer, + Nor yet along the Zuyder-Zee. + + “Ye go to bear the saving word + To tribes unnamed and shores untrod: + Heed well the lessons ye have heard + From those old teachers taught of God. + + “Yet think not unto them was lent + All light for all the coming days, + And Heaven's eternal wisdom spent + In making straight the ancient ways. + + “The living fountain overflows + For every flock, for every lamb, + Nor heeds, though angry creeds oppose + With Luther's dike or Calvin's dam.” + + He spake; with lingering, long embrace, + With tears of love and partings fond, + They floated down the creeping Maas, + Along the isle of Ysselmond. + + They passed the frowning towers of Briel, + The “Hook of Holland's” shelf of sand, + And grated soon with lifting keel + The sullen shores of Fatherland. + + No home for these!—too well they knew + The mitred king behind the throne; + The sails were set, the pennons flew, + And westward ho! for worlds unknown. + + —And these were they who gave us birth, + The Pilgrims of the sunset wave, + Who won for us this virgin earth, + And freedom with the soil they gave. + + The pastor slumbers by the Rhine, + —In alien earth the exiles lie, + —Their nameless graves our holiest shrine, + His words our noblest battle-cry! + + Still cry them, and the world shall hear, + Ye dwellers by the storm-swept sea! + Ye have not built by Haerlem Meer, + Nor on the land-locked Zuyder-Zee! +</pre> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0011" id="link2H_4_0011"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + VIII + </h2> + <p> + There has been a sort of stillness in the atmosphere of our boarding-house + since my last record, as if something or other were going on. There is no + particular change that I can think of in the aspect of things; yet I have + a feeling as if some game of life were quietly playing and strange forces + were at work, underneath this smooth surface of every-day boardinghouse + life, which would show themselves some fine morning or other in events, if + not in catastrophes. I have been watchful, as I said I should be, but have + little to tell as yet. You may laugh at me, and very likely think me + foolishly fanciful to trouble myself about what is going on in a + middling-class household like ours. Do as you like. But here is that + terrible fact to begin with,—a beautiful young girl, with the blood + and the nerve-fibre that belong to Nature's women, turned loose among live + men. + </p> + <p> + -Terrible fact? + </p> + <p> + Very terrible. Nothing more so. Do you forget the angels who lost heaven + for the daughters of men? Do you forget Helen, and the fair women who made + mischief and set nations by the ears before Helen was born? If jealousies + that gnaw men's hearts out of their bodies,—if pangs that waste men + to shadows and drive them into raving madness or moping melancholy,—if + assassination and suicide are dreadful possibilities, then there is always + something frightful about a lovely young woman.—I love to look at + this “Rainbow,” as her father used sometimes to call her, of ours. + Handsome creature that she is in forms and colors,—the very picture, + as it seems to me, of that “golden blonde” my friend whose book you read + last year fell in love with when he was a boy, (as you remember, no + doubt,)—handsome as she is, fit for a sea-king's bride, it is not + her beauty alone that holds my eyes upon her. Let me tell you one of my + fancies, and then you will understand the strange sort of fascination she + has for me. + </p> + <p> + It is in the hearts of many men and women—let me add children—that + there is a Great Secret waiting for them,—a secret of which they get + hints now and then, perhaps oftener in early than in later years. These + hints come sometimes in dreams, sometimes in sudden startling flashes,—second + wakings, as it were,—a waking out of the waking state, which last is + very apt to be a half-sleep. I have many times stopped short and held my + breath, and felt the blood leaving my cheeks, in one of these sudden + clairvoyant flashes. Of course I cannot tell what kind of a secret this + is, but I think of it as a disclosure of certain relations of our personal + being to time and space, to other intelligences, to the procession of + events, and to their First Great Cause. This secret seems to be broken up, + as it were, into fragments, so that we find here a word and there a + syllable, and then again only a letter of it; but it never is written out + for most of us as a complete sentence, in this life. I do not think it + could be; for I am disposed to consider our beliefs about such a possible + disclosure rather as a kind of premonition of an enlargement of our + faculties in some future state than as an expectation to be fulfilled for + most of us in this life. Persons, however, have fallen into trances,—as + did the Reverend William Tennent, among many others,—and learned + some things which they could not tell in our human words. + </p> + <p> + Now among the visible objects which hint to us fragments of this infinite + secret for which our souls are waiting, the faces of women are those that + carry the most legible hieroglyphics of the great mystery. There are + women's faces, some real, some ideal, which contain something in them that + becomes a positive element in our creed, so direct and palpable a + revelation is it of the infinite purity and love. I remember two faces of + women with wings, such as they call angels, of Fra Angelico,—and I + just now came across a print of Raphael's Santa Apollina, with something + of the same quality,—which I was sure had their prototypes in the + world above ours. No wonder the Catholics pay their vows to the Queen of + Heaven! The unpoetical side of Protestantism is, that it has no women to + be worshipped. + </p> + <p> + But mind you, it is not every beautiful face that hints the Great Secret + to us, nor is it only in beautiful faces that we find traces of it. + Sometimes it looks out from a sweet sad eye, the only beauty of a plain + countenance; sometimes there is so much meaning in the lips of a woman, + not otherwise fascinating, that we know they have a message for us, and + wait almost with awe to hear their accents. But this young girl has at + once the beauty of feature and the unspoken mystery of expression. Can she + tell me anything? + </p> + <p> + Is her life a complement of mine, with the missing element in it which I + have been groping after through so many friendships that I have tired of, + and through—Hush! Is the door fast? Talking loud is a bad trick in + these curious boarding-houses. + </p> + <p> + You must have sometimes noted this fact that I am going to remind you of + and to use for a special illustration. Riding along over a rocky road, + suddenly the slow monotonous grinding of the crushing gravel changes to a + deep heavy rumble. There is a great hollow under your feet,—a huge + unsunned cavern. Deep, deep beneath you in the core of the living rock, it + arches its awful vault, and far away it stretches its winding galleries, + their roofs dripping into streams where fishes have been swimming and + spawning in the dark until their scales are white as milk and their eyes + have withered out, obsolete and useless. + </p> + <p> + So it is in life. We jog quietly along, meeting the same faces, grinding + over the same thoughts, the gravel of the soul's highway,—now and + then jarred against an obstacle we cannot crush, but must ride over or + round as we best may, sometimes bringing short up against a + disappointment, but still working along with the creaking and rattling and + grating and jerking that belong to the journey of life, even in the + smoothest-rolling vehicle. Suddenly we hear the deep underground + reverberation that reveals the unsuspected depth of some abyss of thought + or passion beneath us. + </p> + <p> + I wish the girl would go. I don't like to look at her so much, and yet I + cannot help it. Always that same expression of something that I ought to + know,—something that she was made to tell and I to hear,—lying + there ready to fall off from her lips, ready to leap out of her eyes and + make a saint of me, or a devil or a lunatic, or perhaps a prophet to tell + the truth and be hated of men, or a poet whose words shall flash upon the + dry stubble-field of worn-out thoughts and burn over an age of lies in an + hour of passion. + </p> + <p> + It suddenly occurs to me that I may have put you on the wrong track. The + Great Secret that I refer to has nothing to do with the Three Words. Set + your mind at ease about that,—there are reasons I could give you + which settle all that matter. I don't wonder, however, that you confounded + the Great Secret with the Three Words. + </p> + <p> + I LOVE YOU is all the secret that many, nay, most women have to tell. When + that is said, they are like China-crackers on the morning of the fifth of + July. And just as that little patriotic implement is made with a slender + train which leads to the magazine in its interior, so a sharp eye can + almost always see the train leading from a young girl's eye or lip to the + “I love you” in her heart. But the Three Words are not the Great Secret I + mean. No, women's faces are only one of the tablets on which that is + written in its partial, fragmentary symbols. It lies deeper than Love, + though very probably Love is a part of it. Some, I think,—Wordsworth + might be one of them,—spell out a portion of it from certain + beautiful natural objects, landscapes, flowers, and others. I can mention + several poems of his that have shadowy hints which seem to me to come near + the region where I think it lies. I have known two persons who pursued it + with the passion of the old alchemists,—all wrong evidently, but + infatuated, and never giving up the daily search for it until they got + tremulous and feeble, and their dreams changed to visions of things that + ran and crawled about their floor and ceilings, and so they died. The + vulgar called them drunkards. + </p> + <p> + I told you that I would let you know the mystery of the effect this young + girl's face produces on me. It is akin to those influences a friend of + mine has described, you may remember, as coming from certain voices. I + cannot translate it into words,—only into feelings; and these I have + attempted to shadow by showing that her face hinted that revelation of + something we are close to knowing, which all imaginative persons are + looking for either in this world or on the very threshold of the next. + </p> + <p> + You shake your head at the vagueness and fanciful incomprehensibleness of + my description of the expression in a young girl's face. You forget what a + miserable surface-matter this language is in which we try to reproduce our + interior state of being. Articulation is a shallow trick. From the light + Poh! which we toss off from our lips as we fling a nameless scribbler's + impertinence into our waste-baskets, to the gravest utterances which comes + from our throats in our moments of deepest need, is only a space of some + three or four inches. Words, which are a set of clickings, hissings, + lispings, and so on, mean very little, compared to tones and expression of + the features. I give it up; I thought I could shadow forth in some feeble + way, by their aid, the effect this young girl's face produces on my + imagination; but it is of no use. No doubt your head aches, trying to make + something of my description. If there is here and there one that can make + anything intelligible out of my talk about the Great Secret, and who has + spelt out a syllable or two of it on some woman's face, dead or living, + that is all I can expect. One should see the person with whom he converses + about such matters. There are dreamy-eyed people to whom I should say all + these things with a certainty of being understood;— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + That moment that his face I see, + I know the man that must hear me + To him my tale I teach. +</pre> + <p> + —I am afraid some of them have not got a spare quarter of a dollar + for this August number, so that they will never see it. + </p> + <p> + —Let us start again, just as if we had not made this ambitious + attempt, which may go for nothing, and you can have your money refunded, + if you will make the change. + </p> + <p> + This young girl, about whom I have talked so unintelligibly, is the + unconscious centre of attraction to the whole solar system of our + breakfast-table. The Little Gentleman leans towards her, and she again + seems to be swayed as by some invisible gentle force towards him. That + slight inclination of two persons with a strong affinity towards each + other, throwing them a little out of plumb when they sit side by side, is + a physical fact I have often noticed. Then there is a tendency in all the + men's eyes to converge on her; and I do firmly believe, that, if all their + chairs were examined, they would be found a little obliquely placed, so as + to favor the direction in which their occupants love to look. + </p> + <p> + That bland, quiet old gentleman, of whom I have spoken as sitting opposite + to me, is no exception to the rule. She brought down some mignonette one + morning, which she had grown in her chamber. She gave a sprig to her + little neighbor, and one to the landlady, and sent another by the hand of + Bridget to this old gentleman. + </p> + <p> + —Sarvant, Ma'am I Much obleeged,—he said, and put it gallantly + in his button-hole.—After breakfast he must see some of her + drawings. Very fine performances,—very fine!—truly elegant + productions, truly elegant!—Had seen Miss Linwood's needlework in + London, in the year (eighteen hundred and little or nothing, I think he + said,)—patronized by the nobility and gentry, and Her Majesty,—elegant, + truly elegant productions, very fine performances; these drawings reminded + him of them;—wonderful resemblance to Nature; an extraordinary art, + painting; Mr. Copley made some very fine pictures that he remembered + seeing when he was a boy. Used to remember some lines about a portrait + Written by Mr. Cowper, beginning, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Oh that those lips had language! Life has pass'd + With me but roughly since I heard thee last.” + </pre> + <p> + And with this the old gentleman fell to thinking about a dead mother of + his that he remembered ever so much younger than he now was, and looking, + not as his mother, but as his daughter should look. The dead young mother + was looking at the old man, her child, as she used to look at him so many, + many years ago. He stood still as if in a waking dream, his eyes fixed on + the drawings till their outlines grew indistinct and they ran into each + other, and a pale, sweet face shaped itself out of the glimmering light + through which he saw them.—What is there quite so profoundly human + as an old man's memory of a mother who died in his earlier years? Mother + she remains till manhood, and by-and-by she grows to be as a sister; and + at last, when, wrinkled and bowed and broken, he looks back upon her in + her fair youth, he sees in the sweet image he caresses, not his parent, + but, as it were, his child. + </p> + <p> + If I had not seen all this in the old gentleman's face, the words with + which he broke his silence would have betrayed his train of thought. + </p> + <p> + —If they had only taken pictures then as they do now!—he said.—All + gone! all gone! nothing but her face as she leaned on the arms of her + great chair; and I would give a hundred pound for the poorest little + picture of her, such as you can buy for a shilling of anybody that you + don't want to see.—The old gentleman put his hand to his forehead so + as to shade his eyes. I saw he was looking at the dim photograph of + memory, and turned from him to Iris. + </p> + <p> + How many drawing-books have you filled,—I said,—since you + began to take lessons?—This was the first,—she answered,—since + she was here; and it was not full, but there were many separate sheets of + large size she had covered with drawings. + </p> + <p> + I turned over the leaves of the book before us. Academic studies, + principally of the human figure. Heads of sibyls, prophets, and so forth. + Limbs from statues. Hands and feet from Nature. What a superb drawing of + an arm! I don't remember it among the figures from Michel Angelo, which + seem to have been her patterns mainly. From Nature, I think, or after a + cast from Nature.—Oh! + </p> + <p> + —Your smaller studies are in this, I suppose,—I said, taking + up the drawing-book with a lock on it,—Yes,—she said.—I + should like to see her style of working on a small scale.—There was + nothing in it worth showing,—she said; and presently I saw her try + the lock, which proved to be fast. We are all caricatured in it, I haven't + the least doubt. I think, though, I could tell by her way of dealing with + us what her fancies were about us boarders. Some of them act as if they + were bewitched with her, but she does not seem to notice it much. Her + thoughts seem to be on her little neighbor more than on anybody else. The + young fellow John appears to stand second in her good graces. I think he + has once or twice sent her what the landlady's daughter calls bo-kays of + flowers,—somebody has, at any rate.—I saw a book she had, + which must have come from the divinity-student. It had a dreary + title-page, which she had enlivened with a fancy portrait of the author,—a + face from memory, apparently,—one of those faces that small children + loathe without knowing why, and which give them that inward disgust for + heaven so many of the little wretches betray, when they hear that these + are “good men,” and that heaven is full of such.—The gentleman with + the diamond—the Koh-i-noor, so called by us—was not + encouraged, I think, by the reception of his packet of perfumed soap. He + pulls his purple moustache and looks appreciatingly at Iris, who never + sees him, as it should seem. The young Marylander, who I thought would + have been in love with her before this time, sometimes looks from his + corner across the long diagonal of the table, as much as to say, I wish + you were up here by me, or I were down there by you,—which would, + perhaps, be a more natural arrangement than the present one. But nothing + comes of all this,—and nothing has come of my sagacious idea of + finding out the girl's fancies by looking into her locked drawing-book. + </p> + <p> + Not to give up all the questions I was determined to solve, I made an + attempt also to work into the Little Gentleman's chamber. For this + purpose, I kept him in conversation, one morning, until he was just ready + to go up-stairs, and then, as if to continue the talk, followed him as he + toiled back to his room. He rested on the landing and faced round toward + me. There was something in his eye which said, Stop there! So we finished + our conversation on the landing. The next day, I mustered assurance enough + to knock at his door, having a pretext ready.—No answer.—Knock + again. A door, as if of a cabinet, was shut softly and locked, and + presently I heard the peculiar dead beat of his thick-soled, misshapen + boots. The bolts and the lock of the inner door were unfastened,—with + unnecessary noise, I thought,—and he came into the passage. He + pulled the inner door after him and opened the outer one at which I stood. + He had on a flowered silk dressing-gown, such as “Mr. Copley” used to + paint his old-fashioned merchant-princes in; and a quaint-looking key in + his hand. Our conversation was short, but long enough to convince me that + the Little Gentleman did not want my company in his chamber, and did not + mean to have it. + </p> + <p> + I have been making a great fuss about what is no mystery at all,—a + schoolgirl's secrets and a whimsical man's habits. I mean to give up such + nonsense and mind my own business.—Hark! What the deuse is that odd + noise in his chamber? + </p> + <p> + —I think I am a little superstitious. There were two things, when I + was a boy, that diabolized my imagination,—I mean, that gave me a + distinct apprehension of a formidable bodily shape which prowled round the + neighborhood where I was born and bred. The first was a series of marks + called the “Devil's footsteps.” These were patches of sand in the + pastures, where no grass grew, where the low-bush blackberry, the + “dewberry,” as our Southern neighbors call it, in prettier and more + Shakspearian language, did not spread its clinging creepers,—where + even the pale, dry, sadly-sweet “everlasting” could not grow, but all was + bare and blasted. The second was a mark in one of the public buildings + near my home,—the college dormitory named after a Colonial Governor. + I do not think many persons are aware of the existence of this mark,—little + having been said about the story in print, as it was considered very + desirable, for the sake of the Institution, to hush it up. In the + northwest corner, and on the level of the third or fourth story, there are + signs of a breach in the walls, mended pretty well, but not to be + mistaken. A considerable portion of that corner must have been carried + away, from within outward. It was an unpleasant affair; and I do not care + to repeat the particulars; but some young men had been using sacred things + in a profane and unlawful way, when the occurrence, which was variously + explained, took place. The story of the Appearance in the chamber was, I + suppose, invented afterwards; but of the injury to the building there + could be no question; and the zig-zag line, where the mortar is a little + thicker than before, is still distinctly visible. The queer burnt spots, + called the “Devil's footsteps,” had never attracted attention before this + time, though there is no evidence that they had not existed previously, + except that of the late Miss M., a “Goody,” so called, or sweeper, who was + positive on the subject, but had a strange horror of referring to an + affair of which she was thought to know something.—I tell you it was + not so pleasant for a little boy of impressible nature to go up to bed in + an old gambrel-roofed house, with untenanted, locked upper-chambers, and a + most ghostly garret,—with the “Devil's footsteps” in the fields + behind the house and in front of it the patched dormitory where the + unexplained occurrence had taken place which startled those godless youths + at their mock devotions, so that one of them was epileptic from that day + forward, and another, after a dreadful season of mental conflict, took + holy orders and became renowned for his ascetic sanctity. + </p> + <p> + There were other circumstances that kept up the impression produced by + these two singular facts I have just mentioned. There was a dark + storeroom, on looking through the key-hole of which, I could dimly see a + heap of chairs and tables, and other four-footed things, which seemed to + me to have rushed in there, frightened, and in their fright to have + huddled together and climbed up on each other's backs,—as the people + did in that awful crush where so many were killed, at the execution of + Holloway and Haggerty. Then the Lady's portrait, up-stairs, with the + sword-thrusts through it,—marks of the British officers' rapiers,—and + the tall mirror in which they used to look at their red coats,—confound + them for smashing its mate?—and the deep, cunningly wrought + arm-chair in which Lord Percy used to sit while his hair was dressing;—he + was a gentleman, and always had it covered with a large peignoir, to save + the silk covering my grandmother embroidered. Then the little room + downstairs from which went the orders to throw up a bank of earth on the + hill yonder, where you may now observe a granite obelisk,—“the + study” in my father's time, but in those days the council-chamber of armed + men,—sometimes filled with soldiers; come with me, and I will show + you the “dents” left by the butts of their muskets all over the floor. + With all these suggestive objects round me, aided by the wild stories + those awful country-boys that came to live in our service brought with + them;—of contracts written in blood and left out over night, not to + be found the next morning, (removed by the Evil One, who takes his nightly + round among our dwellings, and filed away for future use,)—of dreams + coming true,—of death-signs,—of apparitions, no wonder that my + imagination got excited, and I was liable to superstitious fancies. + </p> + <p> + Jeremy Bentham's logic, by which he proved that he couldn't possibly see a + ghost is all very well-in the day-time. All the reason in the world will + never get those impressions of childhood, created by just such + circumstances as I have been telling, out of a man's head. That is the + only excuse I have to give for the nervous kind of curiosity with which I + watch my little neighbor, and the obstinacy with which I lie awake + whenever I hear anything going on in his chamber after midnight. + </p> + <p> + But whatever further observations I may have made must be deferred for the + present. You will see in what way it happened that my thoughts were turned + from spiritual matters to bodily ones, and how I got my fancy full of + material images,—faces, heads, figures, muscles, and so forth,—in + such a way that I should have no chance in this number to gratify any + curiosity you may feel, if I had the means of so doing. + </p> + <p> + Indeed, I have come pretty near omitting my periodical record this time. + It was all the work of a friend of mine, who would have it that I should + sit to him for my portrait. When a soul draws a body in the great lottery + of life, where every one is sure of a prize, such as it is, the said soul + inspects the said body with the same curious interest with which one who + has ventured into a “gift enterprise” examines the “massive silver + pencil-case” with the coppery smell and impressible tube, or the “splendid + gold ring” with the questionable specific gravity, which it has been his + fortune to obtain in addition to his purchase. + </p> + <p> + The soul, having studied the article of which it finds itself proprietor, + thinks, after a time, it knows it pretty well. But there is this + difference between its view and that of a person looking at us:—we + look from within, and see nothing but the mould formed by the elements in + which we are incased; other observers look from without, and see us as + living statues. To be sure, by the aid of mirrors, we get a few glimpses + of our outside aspect; but this occasional impression is always modified + by that look of the soul from within outward which none but ourselves can + take. A portrait is apt, therefore, to be a surprise to us. The artist + looks only from without. He sees us, too, with a hundred aspects on our + faces we are never likely to see. No genuine expression can be studied by + the subject of it in the looking-glass. + </p> + <p> + More than this; he sees us in a way in which many of our friends or + acquaintances never see us. Without wearing any mask we are conscious of, + we have a special face for each friend. For, in the first place, each puts + a special reflection of himself upon us, on the principle of assimilation + you found referred to in my last record, if you happened to read that + document. And secondly, each of our friends is capable of seeing just so + far, and no farther, into our face, and each sees in it the particular + thing that he looks for. Now the artist, if he is truly an artist, does + not take any one of these special views. Suppose he should copy you as you + appear to the man who wants your name to a subscription-list, you could + hardly expect a friend who entertains you to recognize the likeness to the + smiling face which sheds its radiance at his board. Even within your own + family, I am afraid there is a face which the rich uncle knows, that is + not so familiar to the poor relation. The artist must take one or the + other, or something compounded of the two, or something different from + either. What the daguerreotype and photograph do is to give the features + and one particular look, the very look which kills all expression, that of + self-consciousness. The artist throws you off your guard, watches you in + movement and in repose, puts your face through its exercises, observes its + transitions, and so gets the whole range of its expression. Out of all + this he forms an ideal portrait, which is not a copy of your exact look at + any one time or to any particular person. Such a portrait cannot be to + everybody what the ungloved call “as nat'ral as life.” Every good picture, + therefore, must be considered wanting in resemblance by many persons. + </p> + <p> + There is one strange revelation which comes out, as the artist shapes your + features from his outline. It is that you resemble so many relatives to + whom you yourself never had noticed any particular likeness in your + countenance. + </p> + <p> + He is at work at me now, when I catch some of these resemblances, thus: + </p> + <p> + There! that is just the look my father used to have sometimes; I never + thought I had a sign of it. The mother's eyebrow and grayish-blue eye, + those I knew I had. But there is a something which recalls a smile that + faded away from my sister's lips—how many years ago! I thought it so + pleasant in her, that I love myself better for having a trace of it. + </p> + <p> + Are we not young? Are we not fresh and blooming? Wait, a bit. The artist + takes a mean little brush and draws three fine lines, diverging outwards + from the eye over the temple. Five years.—The artist draws one + tolerably distinct and two faint lines, perpendicularly between the + eyebrows. Ten years.—The artist breaks up the contours round the + mouth, so that they look a little as a hat does that has been sat upon and + recovered itself, ready, as one would say, to crumple up again in the same + creases, on smiling or other change of feature.—Hold on! Stop that! + Give a young fellow a chance! Are we not whole years short of that + interesting period of life when Mr. Balzac says that a man, etc., etc., + etc.? + </p> + <p> + There now! That is ourself, as we look after finishing an article, getting + a three-mile pull with the ten-foot sculls, redressing the wrongs of the + toilet, and standing with the light of hope in our eye and the reflection + of a red curtain on our cheek. Is he not a POET that painted us? + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Blest be the art that can immortalize!” + COWPER. +</pre> + <p> + —Young folks look on a face as a unit; children who go to school + with any given little John Smith see in his name a distinctive + appellation, and in his features as special and definite an expression of + his sole individuality as if he were the first created of his race: As + soon as we are old enough to get the range of three or four generations + well in hand, and to take in large family histories, we never see an + individual in a face of any stock we know, but a mosaic copy of a pattern, + with fragmentary tints from this and that ancestor. The analysis of a face + into its ancestral elements requires that it should be examined in the + very earliest infancy, before it has lost that ancient and solemn look it + brings with it out of the past eternity; and again in that brief space + when Life, the mighty sculptor, has done his work, and Death, his silent + servant, lifts the veil and lets us look at the marble lines he has + wrought so faithfully; and lastly, while a painter who can seize all the + traits of a countenance is building it up, feature after feature, from the + slight outline to the finished portrait. + </p> + <p> + —I am satisfied, that, as we grow older, we learn to look upon our + bodies more and more as a temporary possession and less and less as + identified with ourselves. In early years, while the child “feels its life + in every limb,” it lives in the body and for the body to a very great + extent. It ought to be so. There have been many very interesting children + who have shown a wonderful indifference to the things of earth and an + extraordinary development of the spiritual nature. There is a perfect + literature of their biographies, all alike in their essentials; the same + “disinclination to the usual amusements of childhood “; the same + remarkable sensibility; the same docility; the same conscientiousness; in + short, an almost uniform character, marked by beautiful traits, which we + look at with a painful admiration. It will be found that most of these + children are the subjects of some constitutional unfitness for living, the + most frequent of which I need not mention. They are like the beautiful, + blushing, half-grown fruit that falls before its time because its core is + gnawed out. They have their meaning,—they do not-live in vain,—but + they are windfalls. I am convinced that many healthy children are injured + morally by being forced to read too much about these little meek sufferers + and their spiritual exercises. Here is a boy that loves to run, swim, kick + football, turn somersets, make faces, whittle, fish, tear his clothes, + coast, skate, fire crackers, blow squash “tooters,” cut his name on + fences, read about Robinson Crusoe and Sinbad the Sailor, eat the + widest-angled slices of pie and untold cakes and candies, crack nuts with + his back teeth and bite out the better part of another boy's apple with + his front ones, turn up coppers, “stick” knives, call names, throw stones, + knock off hats, set mousetraps, chalk doorsteps, “cut behind” anything on + wheels or runners, whistle through his teeth, “holler” Fire! on slight + evidence, run after soldiers, patronize an engine-company, or, in his own + words, “blow for tub No. 11,” or whatever it may be;—isn't that a + pretty nice sort of a boy, though he has not got anything the matter with + him that takes the taste of this world out? Now, when you put into such a + hot-blooded, hard-fisted, round-cheeked little rogue's hand a sad-looking + volume or pamphlet, with the portrait of a thin, white-faced child, whose + life is really as much a training for death as the last month of a + condemned criminal's existence, what does he find in common between his + own overflowing and exulting sense of vitality and the experiences of the + doomed offspring of invalid parents? The time comes when we have learned + to understand the music of sorrow, the beauty of resigned suffering, the + holy light that plays over the pillow of those who die before their time, + in humble hope and trust. But it is not until he has worked his way + through the period of honest hearty animal existence, which every robust + child should make the most of,—not until he has learned the use of + his various faculties, which is his first duty,—that a boy of + courage and animal vigor is in a proper state to read these tearful + records of premature decay. I have no doubt that disgust is implanted in + the minds of many healthy children by early surfeits of pathological + piety. I do verily believe that He who took children in His arms and + blessed them loved the healthiest and most playful of them just as well as + those who were richest in the tuberculous virtues. I know what I am + talking about, and there are more parents in this country who will be + willing to listen to what I say than there are fools to pick a quarrel + with me. In the sensibility and the sanctity which often accompany + premature decay I see one of the most beautiful instances of the principle + of compensation which marks the Divine benevolence. But to get the + spiritual hygiene of robust natures out of the exceptional regimen of + invalids is just simply what we Professors call “bad practice”; and I know + by experience that there are worthy people who not only try it on their + own children, but actually force it on those of their neighbors. + </p> + <p> + —Having been photographed, and stereographed, and chromatographed, + or done in colors, it only remained to be phrenologized. A polite note + from Messrs. Bumpus and Crane, requesting our attendance at their + Physiological Emporium, was too tempting to be resisted. We repaired to + that scientific Golgotha. + </p> + <p> + Messrs. Bumpus and Crane are arranged on the plan of the man and the woman + in the toy called a “weather-house,” both on the same wooden arm suspended + on a pivot,—so that when one comes to the door, the other retires + backwards, and vice versa. The more particular speciality of one is to + lubricate your entrance and exit,—that of the other to polish you + off phrenologically in the recesses of the establishment. Suppose yourself + in a room full of casts and pictures, before a counterful of books with + taking titles. I wonder if the picture of the brain is there, “approved” + by a noted Phrenologist, which was copied from my, the Professor's, folio + plate, in the work of Gall and Spurzheim. An extra convolution, No. 9, + Destructiveness, according to the list beneath, which was not to be seen + in the plate, itself a copy of Nature, was very liberally supplied by the + artist, to meet the wants of the catalogue of “organs.” Professor Bumpus + is seated in front of a row of women, —horn-combers and + gold-beaders, or somewhere about that range of life,—looking so + credulous, that, if any Second-Advent Miller or Joe Smith should come + along, he could string the whole lot of them on his cheapest lie, as a boy + strings a dozen “shiners” on a stripped twig of willow. + </p> + <p> + The Professor (meaning ourselves) is in a hurry, as usual; let the + horn-combers wait,—he shall be bumped without inspecting the + antechamber. + </p> + <p> + Tape round the head,—22 inches. (Come on, old 23 inches, if you + think you are the better man!) + </p> + <p> + Feels thorax and arm, and nuzzles round among muscles as those horrid old + women poke their fingers into the salt-meat on the provision-stalls at the + Quincy Market. Vitality, No. 5 or 6, or something or other. Victuality, + (organ at epigastrium,) some other number equally significant. + </p> + <p> + Mild champooing of head now commences. 'Extraordinary revelations! + Cupidiphilous, 6! Hymeniphilous, 6 +! Paediphilous, 5! Deipniphilous, 6! + Gelasmiphilous, 6! Musikiphilous, 5! Uraniphilous, 5! Glossiphilous, 8!! + and so on. Meant for a linguist.—Invaluable information. Will invest + in grammars and dictionaries immediately.—I have nothing against the + grand total of my phrenological endowments. + </p> + <p> + I never set great store by my head, and did not think Messrs. Bumpus and + Crane would give me so good a lot of organs as they did, especially + considering that I was a dead-head on that occasion. Much obliged to them + for their politeness. They have been useful in their way by calling + attention to important physiological facts. (This concession is due to our + immense bump of Candor.) + </p> + <p> + A short Lecture on Phrenology, read to the Boarders at our + Breakfast-Table. + </p> + <p> + I shall begin, my friends, with the definition of a Pseudo-science. A + Pseudo-science consists of a nomenclature, with a self-adjusting + arrangement, by which all positive evidence, or such as favors its + doctrines, is admitted, and all negative evidence, or such as tells + against it, is excluded. It is invariably connected with some lucrative + practical application. Its professors and practitioners are usually shrewd + people; they are very serious with the public, but wink and laugh a good + deal among themselves. The believing multitude consists of women of both + sexes, feeble minded inquirers, poetical optimists, people who always get + cheated in buying horses, philanthropists who insist on hurrying up the + millennium, and others of this class, with here and there a clergyman, + less frequently a lawyer, very rarely a physician, and almost never a + horse-jockey or a member of the detective police.—I do not say that + Phrenology was one of the Pseudo-sciences. + </p> + <p> + A Pseudo-science does not necessarily consist wholly of lies. It may + contain many truths, and even valuable ones. The rottenest bank starts + with a little specie. It puts out a thousand promises to pay on the + strength of a single dollar, but the dollar is very commonly a good one. + The practitioners of the Pseudo-sciences know that common minds, after + they have been baited with a real fact or two, will jump at the merest rag + of a lie, or even at the bare hook. When we have one fact found us, we are + very apt to supply the next out of our own imagination. (How many persons + can read Judges xv. 16 correctly the first time?) The Pseudo-sciences take + advantage of this.—I did not say that it was so with Phrenology. + </p> + <p> + I have rarely met a sensible man who would not allow that there was + something in Phrenology. A broad, high forehead, it is commonly agreed, + promises intellect; one that is “villanous low” and has a huge hind-head + back of it, is wont to mark an animal nature. I have as rarely met an + unbiassed and sensible man who really believed in the bumps. It is + observed, however, that persons with what the Phrenologists call “good + heads” are more prone than others toward plenary belief in the doctrine. + </p> + <p> + It is so hard to prove a negative, that, if a man should assert that the + moon was in truth a green cheese, formed by the coagulable substance of + the Milky Way, and challenge me to prove the contrary, I might be puzzled. + But if he offer to sell me a ton of this lunar cheese, I call on him to + prove the truth of the Gaseous nature of our satellite, before I purchase. + </p> + <p> + It is not necessary to prove the falsity of the phrenological statement. + It is only necessary to show that its truth is not proved, and cannot be, + by the common course of argument. The walls of the head are double, with a + great air-chamber between them, over the smallest and most closely crowded + “organs.” Can you tell how much money there is in a safe, which also has + thick double walls, by kneading its knobs with your fingers? So when a man + fumbles about my forehead, and talks about the organs of Individuality, + Size, etc., I trust him as much as I should if he felt of the outside of + my strong-box and told me that there was a five-dollar or a + ten-dollar-bill under this or that particular rivet. Perhaps there is; + only he does n't know anything about at. But this is a point that I, the + Professor, understand, my friends, or ought to, certainly, better than you + do. The next argument you will all appreciate. + </p> + <p> + I proceed, therefore, to explain the self-adjusting mechanism of + Phrenology, which is very similar to that of the Pseudo-sciences. An + example will show it most conveniently. + </p> + <p> + A. is a notorious thief. Messrs. Bumpus and Crane examine him and find a + good-sized organ of Acquisitiveness. Positive fact for Phrenology. Casts + and drawings of A. are multiplied, and the bump does not lose in the act + of copying.—I did not say it gained.—What do you look so for? + (to the boarders.) + </p> + <p> + Presently B. turns up, a bigger thief than A. But B. has no bump at all + over Acquisitiveness. Negative fact; goes against Phrenology.—Not a + bit of it. Don't you see how small Conscientiousness is? That's the reason + B. stole. + </p> + <p> + And then comes C., ten times as much a thief as either A. or B.,—used + to steal before he was weaned, and would pick one of his own pockets and + put its contents in another, if he could find no other way of committing + petty larceny. Unfortunately, C. has a hollow, instead of a bump, over + Acquisitiveness. Ah, but just look and see what a bump of Alimentiveness! + Did not C. buy nuts and gingerbread, when a boy, with the money he stole? + Of course you see why he is a thief, and how his example confirms our + noble science. + </p> + <p> + At last comes along a case which is apparently a settler, for there is a + little brain with vast and varied powers,—a case like that of Byron, + for instance. Then comes out the grand reserve-reason which covers + everything and renders it simply impossible ever to corner a Phrenologist. + “It is not the size alone, but the quality of an organ, which determines + its degree of power.” + </p> + <p> + Oh! oh! I see.—The argument may be briefly stated thus by the + Phrenologist: “Heads I win, tails you lose.” Well, that's convenient. + </p> + <p> + It must be confessed that Phrenology has a certain resemblance to the + Pseudo-sciences. I did not say it was a Pseudo-science. + </p> + <p> + I have often met persons who have been altogether struck up and amazed at + the accuracy with which some wandering Professor of Phrenology had read + their characters written upon their skulls. Of course the Professor + acquires his information solely through his cranial inspections and + manipulations.—What are you laughing at? (to the boarders.)—But + let us just suppose, for a moment, that a tolerably cunning fellow, who + did not know or care anything about Phrenology, should open a shop and + undertake to read off people's characters at fifty cents or a dollar + apiece. Let us see how well he could get along without the “organs.” + </p> + <p> + I will suppose myself to set up such a shop. I would invest one hundred + dollars, more or less, in casts of brains, skulls, charts, and other + matters that would make the most show for the money. That would do to + begin with. I would then advertise myself as the celebrated Professor + Brainey, or whatever name I might choose, and wait for my first customer. + My first customer is a middle-aged man. I look at him,—ask him a + question or two, so as to hear him talk. When I have got the hang of him, + I ask him to sit down, and proceed to fumble his skull, dictating as + follows: SCALE FROM 1 TO 10. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + LIST OF FACULTIES FOR PRIVATE NOTES FOR MY PUPIL. + CUSTOMER. + Each to be accompanied with a wink. + + Amativeness, 7. Most men love the conflicting sex, and all + men love to be told they do. + + Alimentiveness, 8. Don't you see that he has burst off his + lowest waistcoat-button with feeding,—hey + + Acquisitiveness, 8. Of course. A middle-aged Yankee. + + Approbativeness 7+. Hat well brushed. Hair ditto. Mark the + effect of that plus sign. + + Self-Esteem 6. His face shows that. + + Benevolence 9. That'll please him. + + Conscientiousness 8 1/2 That fraction looks first-rate. + + Mirthfulness 7 Has laughed twice since he came in. + + Ideality 9 That sounds well. + + Form, Size, Weight, 4 to 6. Average everything that Color, Locality, + cannot be guessed. Eventuality, etc. etc. + + And so of the other faculties. +</pre> + <p> + Of course, you know, that isn't the way the Phrenologists do. They go only + by the bumps.—What do you keep laughing so for? (to the boarders.) I + only said that is the way I should practise “Phrenology” for a living. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + End of my Lecture. +</pre> + <p> + —The Reformers have good heads, generally. Their faces are commonly + serene enough, and they are lambs in private intercourse, even though + their voices may be like + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + The wolf's long howl from Oonalaska's shore, +</pre> + <p> + when heard from the platform. Their greatest spiritual danger is from the + perpetual flattery of abuse to which they are exposed. These lines are + meant to caution them. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + SAINT ANTHONY THE REFORMER. + + HIS TEMPTATION. + + No fear lest praise should make us proud! + We know how cheaply that is won; + The idle homage of the crowd + Is proof of tasks as idly done. + + A surface-smile may pay the toil + That follows still the conquering Right, + With soft, white hands to dress the spoil + That sunbrowned valor clutched in fight. + + Sing the sweet song of other days, + Serenely placid, safely true, + And o'er the present's parching ways + Thy verse distils like evening dew. + + But speak in words of living power, + —They fall like drops of scalding rain + That plashed before the burning shower + Swept o'er the cities of the plain! + + Then scowling Hate turns deadly pale, + —Then Passion's half-coiled adders spring, + And, smitten through their leprous mail, + Strike right and left in hope to sting. + + If thou, unmoved by poisoning wrath, + Thy feet on earth, thy heart above, + Canst walk in peace thy kingly path, + Unchanged in trust, unchilled in love,— + + Too kind for bitter words to grieve, + Too firm for clamor to dismay, + When Faith forbids thee to believe, + And Meekness calls to disobey,— + + Ah, then beware of mortal pride! + The smiling pride that calmly scorns + Those foolish fingers, crimson dyed + In laboring on thy crown of thorns! +</pre> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0012" id="link2H_4_0012"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + IX + </h2> + <p> + One of our boarders—perhaps more than one was concerned in it—sent + in some questions to me, the other day, which, trivial as some of them + are, I felt bound to answer. + </p> + <p> + 1.—Whether a lady was ever known to write a letter covering only a + single page? + </p> + <p> + To this I answered, that there was a case on record where a lady had but + half a sheet of paper and no envelope; and being obliged to send through + the post-office, she covered only one side of the paper (crosswise, + lengthwise, and diagonally). + </p> + <p> + 2.—What constitutes a man a gentleman? + </p> + <p> + To this I gave several answers, adapted to particular classes of + questioners. + </p> + <p> + a. Not trying to be a gentleman. + </p> + <p> + b. Self-respect underlying courtesy. + </p> + <p> + c. Knowledge and observance of the fitness of things in social + intercourse. + </p> + <p> + d. f. s. d. (as many suppose.) + </p> + <p> + 3.—Whether face or figure is most attractive in the female sex? + </p> + <p> + Answered in the following epigram, by a young man about town: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Quoth Tom, “Though fair her features be, + It is her figure pleases me.” + “What may her figure be?” I cried. + “One hundred thousand!” he replied. +</pre> + <p> + When this was read to the boarders, the young man John said he should like + a chance to “step up” to a figger of that kind, if the girl was one of the + right sort. + </p> + <p> + The landlady said them that merried for money didn't deserve the blessin' + of a good wife. Money was a great thing when them that had it made a good + use of it. She had seen better days herself, and knew what it was never to + want for anything. One of her cousins merried a very rich old gentleman, + and she had heerd that he said he lived ten year longer than if he'd staid + by himself without anybody to take care of him. There was nothin' like a + wife for nussin' sick folks and them that couldn't take care of + themselves. + </p> + <p> + The young man John got off a little wink, and pointed slyly with his thumb + in the direction of our diminutive friend, for whom he seemed to think + this speech was intended. + </p> + <p> + If it was meant for him, he did n't appear to know that it was. Indeed, he + seems somewhat listless of late, except when the conversation falls upon + one of those larger topics that specially interest him, and then he grows + excited, speaks loud and fast, sometimes almost savagely,—and, I + have noticed once or twice, presses his left hand to his right side, as if + there were something that ached, or weighed, or throbbed in that region. + </p> + <p> + While he speaks in this way, the general conversation is interrupted, and + we all listen to him. Iris looks steadily in his face, and then he will + turn as if magnetized and meet the amber eyes with his own melancholy + gaze. I do believe that they have some kind of understanding together, + that they meet elsewhere than at our table, and that there is a mystery, + which is going to break upon us all of a sudden, involving the relations + of these two persons. From the very first, they have taken to each other. + The one thing they have in common is the heroic will. In him, it shows + itself in thinking his way straightforward, in doing battle for “free + trade and no right of search” on the high seas of religious controversy, + and especially in fighting the battles of his crooked old city. In her, it + is standing up for her little friend with the most queenly disregard of + the code of boarding-house etiquette. People may say or look what they + like,—she will have her way about this sentiment of hers. + </p> + <p> + The Poor Relation is in a dreadful fidget whenever the Little Gentleman + says anything that interferes with her own infallibility. She seems to + think Faith must go with her face tied up, as if she had the toothache,—and + that if she opens her mouth to the quarter the wind blows from, she will + catch her “death o' cold.” + </p> + <p> + The landlady herself came to him one day, as I have found out, and tried + to persuade him to hold his tongue.—The boarders was gettin' uneasy,—she + said,—and some of 'em would go, she mistrusted, if he talked any + more about things that belonged to the ministers to settle. She was a poor + woman, that had known better days, but all her livin' depended on her + boarders, and she was sure there was n't any of 'em she set so much by as + she did by him; but there was them that never liked to hear about sech + things, except on Sundays. + </p> + <p> + The Little Gentleman looked very smiling at the landlady, who smiled even + more cordially in return, and adjusted her cap-ribbon with an unconscious + movement,—a reminiscence of the long-past pairing-time, when she had + smoothed her locks and softened her voice, and won her mate by these and + other bird-like graces.—My dear Madam,—he said,—I will + remember your interests, and speak only of matters to which I am totally + indifferent.—I don't doubt he meant this; but a day or two after, + something stirred him up, and I heard his voice uttering itself aloud, + thus: + </p> + <p> + -It must be done, Sir!—he was saying,—it must be done! Our + religion has been Judaized, it has been Romanized, it has been + Orientalized, it has been Anglicized, and the time is at hand when it must + be AMERICANIZED! Now, Sir, you see what Americanizing is in politics;—it + means that a man shall have a vote because he is a man,—and shall + vote for whom he pleases, without his neighbor's interference. If he + chooses to vote for the Devil, that is his lookout;—perhaps he + thinks the Devil is better than the other candidates; and I don't doubt + he's often right, Sir. Just so a man's soul has a vote in the spiritual + community; and it doesn't do, Sir, or it won't do long, to call him + “schismatic” and “heretic” and those other wicked names that the old + murderous Inquisitors have left us to help along “peace and goodwill to + men”! + </p> + <p> + As long as you could catch a man and drop him into an oubliette, or pull + him out a few inches longer by machinery, or put a hot iron through his + tongue, or make him climb up a ladder and sit on a board at the top of a + stake so that he should be slowly broiled by the fire kindled round it, + there was some sense in these words; they led to something. But since we + have done with those tools, we had better give up those words. I should + like to see a Yankee advertisement like this!—(the Little Gentleman + laughed fiercely as he uttered the words,—) + </p> + <p> + —Patent thumb-screws,—will crush the bone in three turns. + </p> + <p> + —The cast-iron boot, with wedge and mallet, only five dollars! + </p> + <p> + —The celebrated extension-rack, warranted to stretch a man six + inches in twenty minutes,—money returned, if it proves + unsatisfactory. + </p> + <p> + I should like to see such an advertisement, I say, Sir! Now, what's the + use of using the words that belonged with the thumb-screws, and the + Blessed Virgin with the knives under her petticoats and sleeves and + bodice, and the dry pan and gradual fire, if we can't have the things + themselves, Sir? What's the use of painting the fire round a poor fellow, + when you think it won't do to kindle one under him,—as they did at + Valencia or Valladolid, or wherever it was? + </p> + <p> + —What story is that?—I said. + </p> + <p> + Why,—he answered,—at the last auto-da-fe, in 1824 or '5, or + somewhere there,—it's a traveller's story, but a mighty knowing + traveller he is,—they had a “heretic” to use up according to the + statutes provided for the crime of private opinion. They could n't quite + make up their minds to burn him, so they only hung him in a hogshead + painted all over with flames! + </p> + <p> + No, Sir! when a man calls you names because you go to the ballot-box and + vote for your candidate, or because you say this or that is your opinion, + he forgets in which half of the world he was born, Sir! It won't be long, + Sir, before we have Americanized religion as we have Americanized + government; and then, Sir, every soul God sends into the world will be + good in the face of all men for just so much of His “inspiration” as + “giveth him understanding”!—None of my words, Sir! none of my words! + </p> + <p> + —If Iris does not love this Little Gentleman, what does love look + like when one sees it? She follows him with her eyes, she leans over + toward him when he speaks, her face changes with the changes of his + speech, so that one might think it was with her as with Christabel,— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + That all her features were resigned + To this sole image in her mind. +</pre> + <p> + But she never looks at him with such intensity of devotion as when he says + anything about the soul and the soul's atmosphere, religion. + </p> + <p> + Women are twice as religious as men;—all the world knows that. + Whether they are any better, in the eyes of Absolute Justice, might be + questioned; for the additional religious element supplied by sex hardly + seems to be a matter of praise or blame. But in all common aspects they + are so much above us that we get most of our religion from them,—from + their teachings, from their example,—above all, from their pure + affections. + </p> + <p> + Now this poor little Iris had been talked to strangely in her childhood. + Especially she had been told that she hated all good things,—which + every sensible parent knows well enough is not true of a great many + children, to say the least. I have sometimes questioned whether many + libels on human nature had not been a natural consequence of the celibacy + of the clergy, which was enforced for so long a period. + </p> + <p> + The child had met this and some other equally encouraging statements as to + her spiritual conditions, early in life, and fought the battle of + spiritual independence prematurely, as many children do. If all she did + was hateful to God, what was the meaning of the approving or else the + disapproving conscience, when she had done “right” or “wrong”? No + “shoulder-striker” hits out straighter than a child with its logic. Why, I + can remember lying in my bed in the nursery and settling questions which + all that I have heard since and got out of books has never been able to + raise again. If a child does not assert itself in this way in good season, + it becomes just what its parents or teachers were, and is no better than a + plastic image.—How old was I at the time?—I suppose about 5823 + years old,—that is, counting from Archbishop Usher's date of the + Creation, and adding the life of the race, whose accumulated intelligence + is a part of my inheritance, to my own. A good deal older than Plato, you + see, and much more experienced than my Lord Bacon and most of the world's + teachers.—Old books, as you well know, are books of the world's + youth, and new books are fruits of its age. How many of all these ancient + folios round me are like so many old cupels! The gold has passed out of + them long ago, but their pores are full of the dross with which it was + mingled. + </p> + <p> + And so Iris—having thrown off that first lasso which not only + fetters, but chokes those whom it can hold, so that they give themselves + up trembling and breathless to the great soul-subduer, who has them by the + windpipe had settled a brief creed for herself, in which love of the + neighbor, whom we have seen, was the first article, and love of the + Creator, whom we have not seen, grew out of this as its natural + development, being necessarily second in order of time to the first + unselfish emotions which we feel for the fellow-creatures who surround us + in our early years. + </p> + <p> + The child must have some place of worship. What would a young girl be who + never mingled her voice with the songs and prayers that rose all around + her with every returning day of rest? And Iris was free to choose. + Sometimes one and sometimes another would offer to carry her to this or + that place of worship; and when the doors were hospitably opened, she + would often go meekly in by herself. It was a curious fact, that two + churches as remote from each other in doctrine as could well be divided + her affections. + </p> + <p> + The Church of Saint Polycarp had very much the look of a Roman Catholic + chapel. I do not wish to run the risk of giving names to the + ecclesiastical furniture which gave it such a Romish aspect; but there + were pictures, and inscriptions in antiquated characters, and there were + reading-stands, and flowers on the altar, and other elegant arrangements. + Then there were boys to sing alternately in choirs responsive to each + other, and there was much bowing, with very loud responding, and a long + service and a short sermon, and a bag, such as Judas used to hold in the + old pictures, was carried round to receive contributions. Everything was + done not only “decently and in order,” but, perhaps one might say, with a + certain air of magnifying their office on the part of the dignified + clergymen, often two or three in number. The music and the free welcome + were grateful to Iris, and she forgot her prejudices at the door of the + chapel. For this was a church with open doors, with seats for all classes + and all colors alike,—a church of zealous worshippers after their + faith, of charitable and serviceable men and women, one that took care of + its children and never forgot its poor, and whose people were much more + occupied in looking out for their own souls than in attacking the faith of + their neighbors. In its mode of worship there was a union of two + qualities,—the taste and refinement, which the educated require just + as much in their churches as elsewhere, and the air of stateliness, almost + of pomp, which impresses the common worshipper, and is often not without + its effect upon those who think they hold outward forms as of little + value. Under the half-Romish aspect of the Church of Saint Polycarp, the + young girl found a devout and loving and singularly cheerful religious + spirit. The artistic sense, which betrayed itself in the dramatic + proprieties of its ritual, harmonized with her taste. The mingled murmur + of the loud responses, in those rhythmic phrases, so simple, yet so + fervent, almost as if every tenth heart-beat, instead of its dull tic-tac, + articulated itself as “Good Lord, deliver us! “—the sweet + alternation of the two choirs, as their holy song floated from side to + side, the keen young voices rising like a flight of singing-birds that + passes from one grove to another, carrying its music with it back and + forward,—why should she not love these gracious outward signs of + those inner harmonies which none could deny made beautiful the lives of + many of her fellow-worshippers in the humble, yet not inelegant Chapel of + Saint Polycarp? + </p> + <p> + The young Marylander, who was born and bred to that mode of worship, had + introduced her to the chapel, for which he did the honors for such of our + boarders as were not otherwise provided for. I saw them looking over the + same prayer-book one Sunday, and I could not help thinking that two such + young and handsome persons could hardly worship together in safety for a + great while. But they seemed to mind nothing but their prayer-book. + By-and-by the silken bag was handed round.—I don't believe she will; + so awkward, you know;—besides, she only came by invitation. There + she is, with her hand in her pocket, though,—and sure enough, her + little bit of silver tinkled as it struck the coin beneath. God bless her! + she has n't much to give; but her eye glistens when she gives it, and that + is all Heaven asks.—That was the first time I noticed these young + people together, and I am sure they behaved with the most charming + propriety,—in fact, there was one of our silent lady-boarders with + them, whose eyes would have kept Cupid and Psyche to their good behavior. + A day or two after this I noticed that the young gentleman had left his + seat, which you may remember was at the corner diagonal to that of Iris, + so that they have been as far removed from each other as they could be at + the table. His new seat is three or four places farther down the table. Of + course I made a romance out of this, at once. So stupid not to see it! How + could it be otherwise?—Did you speak, Madam? I beg your pardon. (To + my lady-reader.) + </p> + <p> + I never saw anything like the tenderness with which this young girl treats + her little deformed neighbor. If he were in the way of going to church, I + know she would follow him. But his worship, if any, is not with the throng + of men and women and staring children. + </p> + <p> + I, the Professor, on the other hand, am a regular church-goer. I should go + for various reasons if I did not love it; but I am happy enough to find + great pleasure in the midst of devout multitudes, whether I can accept all + their creeds or not. One place of worship comes nearer than the rest to my + ideal standard, and to this it was that I carried our young girl. + </p> + <p> + The Church of the Galileans, as it is called, is even humbler in outside + pretensions than the Church of Saint Polycarp. Like that, it is open to + all comers. The stranger who approaches it looks down a quiet street and + sees the plainest of chapels,—a kind of wooden tent, that owes + whatever grace it has to its pointed windows and the high, sharp roofs—traces, + both, of that upward movement of ecclesiastical architecture which soared + aloft in cathedral-spires, shooting into the sky as the spike of a + flowering aloe from the cluster of broad, sharp-wedged leaves below. This + suggestion of medieval symbolism, aided by a minute turret in which a + hand-bell might have hung and found just room enough to turn over, was all + of outward show the small edifice could boast. Within there was very + little that pretended to be attractive. A small organ at one side, and a + plain pulpit, showed that the building was a church; but it was a church + reduced to its simplest expression: + </p> + <p> + Yet when the great and wise monarch of the East sat upon his throne, in + all the golden blaze of the spoils of Ophir and the freights of the navy + of Tarshish, his glory was not like that of this simple chapel in its + Sunday garniture. For the lilies of the field, in their season, and the + fairest flowers of the year, in due succession, were clustered every + Sunday morning over the preacher's desk. Slight, thin-tissued blossoms of + pink and blue and virgin white in early spring, then the full-breasted and + deep-hearted roses of summer, then the velvet-robed crimson and yellow + flowers of autumn, and in the winter delicate exotics that grew under + skies of glass in the false summers of our crystal palaces without knowing + that it was the dreadful winter of New England which was rattling the + doors and frosting the panes,—in their language the whole year told + its history of life and growth and beauty from that simple desk. There was + always at least one good sermon,—this floral homily. There was at + least one good prayer,—that brief space when all were silent, after + the manner of the Friends at their devotions. + </p> + <p> + Here, too, Iris found an atmosphere of peace and love. The same gentle, + thoughtful faces, the same cheerful but reverential spirit, the same + quiet, the same life of active benevolence. But in all else how different + from the Church of Saint Polycarp! No clerical costume, no ceremonial + forms, no carefully trained choirs. A liturgy they have, to be sure, which + does not scruple to borrow from the time-honored manuals of devotion, but + also does not hesitate to change its expressions to its own liking. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps the good people seem a little easy with each other;—they are + apt to nod familiarly, and have even been known to whisper before the + minister came in. But it is a relief to get rid of that old Sunday—no,—Sabbath + face, which suggests the idea that the first day of the week is + commemorative of some most mournful event. The truth is, these brethren + and sisters meet very much as a family does for its devotions, not putting + off their humanity in the least, considering it on the whole quite a + delightful matter to come together for prayer and song and good counsel + from kind and wise lips. And if they are freer in their demeanor than some + very precise congregations, they have not the air of a worldly set of + people. Clearly they have not come to advertise their tailors and + milliners, nor for the sake of exchanging criticisms on the literary + character of the sermon they may hear. There is no restlessness and no + restraint among these quiet, cheerful worshippers. One thing that keeps + them calm and happy during the season so evidently trying to many + congregations is, that they join very generally in the singing. In this + way they get rid of that accumulated nervous force which escapes in all + sorts of fidgety movements, so that a minister trying to keep his + congregation still reminds one of a boy with his hand over the nose of a + pump which another boy is working,—this spirting impatience of the + people is so like the jets that find their way through his fingers, and + the grand rush out at the final Amen! has such a wonderful likeness to the + gush that takes place when the boy pulls his hand away, with immense + relief, as it seems, to both the pump and the officiating youngster. + </p> + <p> + How sweet is this blending of all voices and all hearts in one common song + of praise! Some will sing a little loud, perhaps,—and now and then + an impatient chorister will get a syllable or two in advance, or an + enchanted singer so lose all thought of time and place in the luxury of a + closing cadence that he holds on to the last semi-breve upon his private + responsibility; but how much more of the spirit of the old Psalmist in the + music of these imperfectly trained voices than in the academic niceties of + the paid performers who take our musical worship out of our hands! + </p> + <p> + I am of the opinion that the creed of the Church of the Galileans is not + laid down in as many details as that of the Church of Saint Polycarp. Yet + I suspect, if one of the good people from each of those churches had met + over the bed of a suffering fellow-creature, or for the promotion of any + charitable object, they would have found they had more in common than all + the special beliefs or want of beliefs that separated them would amount + to. There are always many who believe that the fruits of a tree afford a + better test of its condition than a statement of the composts with which + it is dressed, though the last has its meaning and importance, no doubt. + </p> + <p> + Between these two churches, then, our young Iris divides her affections. + But I doubt if she listens to the preacher at either with more devotion + than she does to her little neighbor when he talks of these matters. + </p> + <p> + What does he believe? In the first place, there is some deep-rooted + disquiet lying at the bottom of his soul, which makes him very bitter + against all kinds of usurpation over the right of private judgment. Over + this seems to lie a certain tenderness for humanity in general, bred out + of life-long trial, I should say, but sharply streaked with fiery lines of + wrath at various individual acts of wrong, especially if they come in an + ecclesiastical shape, and recall to him the days when his mother's + great-grandmother was strangled on Witch Hill, with a text from the Old + Testament for her halter. With all this, he has a boundless belief in the + future of this experimental hemisphere, and especially in the destiny of + the free thought of its northeastern metropolis. + </p> + <p> + —A man can see further, Sir,—he said one day,—from the + top of Boston State House, and see more that is worth seeing, than from + all the pyramids and turrets and steeples in all the places in the world! + No smoke, Sir; no fog, Sir; and a clean sweep from the Outer Light and the + sea beyond it to the New Hampshire mountains! Yes, Sir,—and there + are great truths that are higher than mountains and broader than seas, + that people are looking for from the tops of these hills of ours;—such + as the world never saw, though it might have seen them at Jerusalem, if + its eyes had been open!—Where do they have most crazy people? Tell + me that, Sir! + </p> + <p> + I answered, that I had heard it said there were more in New England than + in most countries, perhaps more than in any part of the world. + </p> + <p> + Very good, Sir,—he answered.—When have there been most people + killed and wounded in the course of this century? + </p> + <p> + During the wars of the French Empire, no doubt,—I said. + </p> + <p> + That's it! that's it!—said the Little Gentleman;—where the + battle of intelligence is fought, there are most minds bruised and broken! + We're battling for a faith here, Sir. + </p> + <p> + The divinity-student remarked, that it was rather late in the world's + history for men to be looking out for a new faith. + </p> + <p> + I did n't say a new faith,—said the Little Gentleman;—old or + new, it can't help being different here in this American mind of ours from + anything that ever was before; the people are new, Sir, and that makes the + difference. One load of corn goes to the sty, and makes the fat of swine,—another + goes to the farm-house, and becomes the muscle that clothes the right arms + of heroes. It is n't where a pawn stands on the board that makes the + difference, but what the game round it is when it is on this or that + square. + </p> + <p> + Can any man look round and see what Christian countries are now doing, and + how they are governed, and what is the general condition of society, + without seeing that Christianity is the flag under which the world sails, + and not the rudder that steers its course? No, Sir! There was a great raft + built about two thousand years ago,—call it an ark, rather,—the + world's great ark! big enough to hold all mankind, and made to be launched + right out into the open waves of life,—and here it has been lying, + one end on the shore and one end bobbing up and down in the water, men + fighting all the time as to who should be captain and who should have the + state-rooms, and throwing each other over the side because they could not + agree about the points of compass, but the great vessel never getting + afloat with its freight of nations and their rulers;—and now, Sir, + there is and has been for this long time a fleet of “heretic” lighters + sailing out of Boston Bay, and they have been saying, and they say now, + and they mean to keep saying, “Pump out your bilge-water, shovel over your + loads of idle ballast, get out your old rotten cargo, and we will carry it + out into deep waters and sink it where it will never be seen again; so + shall the ark of the world's hope float on the ocean, instead of sticking + in the dock-mud where it is lying!” + </p> + <p> + It's a slow business, this of getting the ark launched. The Jordan was n't + deep enough, and the Tiber was n't deep enough, and the Rhone was n't deep + enough, and the Thames was n't deep enough, and perhaps the Charles is n't + deep enough; but I don't feel sure of that, Sir, and I love to hear the + workmen knocking at the old blocks of tradition and making the ways smooth + with the oil of the Good Samaritan. I don't know, Sir,—but I do + think she stirs a little,—I do believe she slides;—and when I + think of what a work that is for the dear old three-breasted mother of + American liberty, I would not take all the glory of all the greatest + cities in the world for my birthright in the soil of little Boston! + </p> + <p> + —Some of us could not help smiling at this burst of local + patriotism, especially when it finished with the last two words. + </p> + <p> + And Iris smiled, too. But it was the radiant smile of pleasure which + always lights up her face when her little neighbor gets excited on the + great topics of progress in freedom and religion, and especially on the + part which, as he pleases himself with believing, his own city is to take + in that consummation of human development to which he looks forward. + </p> + <p> + Presently she looked into his face with a changed expression,—the + anxiety of a mother that sees her child suffering. + </p> + <p> + You are not well,—she said. + </p> + <p> + I am never well,—he answered.—His eyes fell mechanically on + the death's-head ring he wore on his right hand. She took his hand as if + it had been a baby's, and turned the grim device so that it should be out + of sight. One slight, sad, slow movement of the head seemed to say, “The + death-symbol is still there!” + </p> + <p> + A very odd personage, to be sure! Seems to know what is going on, —reads + books, old and new,—has many recent publications sent him, they tell + me, but, what is more curious, keeps up with the everyday affairs of the + world, too. Whether he hears everything that is said with preternatural + acuteness, or whether some confidential friend visits him in a quiet way, + is more than I can tell. I can make nothing more of the noises I hear in + his room than my old conjectures. The movements I mention are less + frequent, but I often hear the plaintive cry,—I observe that it is + rarely laughing of late;—I never have detected one articulate word, + but I never heard such tones from anything but a human voice. + </p> + <p> + There has been, of late, a deference approaching to tenderness, on the + part of the boarders generally so far as he is concerned. This is + doubtless owing to the air of suffering which seems to have saddened his + look of late. Either some passion is gnawing at him inwardly, or some + hidden disease is at work upon him. + </p> + <p> + —What 's the matter with Little Boston?—said the young man + John to me one day.—There a'n't much of him, anyhow; but 't seems to + me he looks peakeder than ever. The old woman says he's in a bad way, 'n' + wants a puss to take care of him. Them pusses that take care of old rich + folks marry 'em sometimes,—'n' they don't commonly live a great + while after that. No, Sir! I don't see what he wants to die for, after + he's taken so much trouble to live in such poor accommodations as that + crooked body of his. I should like to know how his soul crawled into it, + 'n' how it's goin' to get out. What business has he to die, I should like + to know? Let Ma'am Allen (the gentleman with the diamond) die, if he + likes, and be (this is a family-magazine); but we a'n't goin' to have him + dyin'. Not by a great sight. Can't do without him anyhow. A'n't it fun to + hear him blow off his steam? + </p> + <p> + I believe the young fellow would take it as a personal insult, if the + Little Gentleman should show any symptoms of quitting our table for a + better world. + </p> + <p> + —In the mean time, what with going to church in company with our + young lady, and taking every chance I could get to talk with her, I have + found myself becoming, I will not say intimate, but well acquainted with + Miss Iris. There is a certain frankness and directness about her that + perhaps belong to her artist nature. For, you see, the one thing that + marks the true artist is a clear perception and a firm, bold hand, in + distinction from that imperfect mental vision and uncertain touch which + give us the feeble pictures and the lumpy statues of the mere artisans on + canvas or in stone. A true artist, therefore, can hardly fail to have a + sharp, well-defined mental physiognomy. Besides this, many young girls + have a strange audacity blended with their instinctive delicacy. Even in + physical daring many of them are a match for boys; whereas you will find + few among mature women, and especially if they are mothers, who do not + confess, and not unfrequently proclaim, their timidity. One of these young + girls, as many of us hereabouts remember, climbed to the top of a jagged, + slippery rock lying out in the waves,—an ugly height to get up, and + a worse one to get down, even for a bold young fellow of sixteen. Another + was in the way of climbing tall trees for crows' nests,—and crows + generally know about how far boys can “shin up,” and set their household + establishments above that high-water mark. Still another of these young + ladies I saw for the first time in an open boat, tossing on the ocean + ground-swell, a mile or two from shore, off a lonely island. She lost all + her daring, after she had some girls of her own to look out for. + </p> + <p> + Many blondes are very gentle, yielding in character, impressible, + unelastic. But the positive blondes, with the golden tint running through + them, are often full of character. They come, probably enough, from those + deep-bosomed German women that Tacitus portrayed in such strong colors. + The negative blondes, or those women whose tints have faded out as their + line of descent has become impoverished, are of various blood, and in them + the soul has often become pale with that blanching of the hair and loss of + color in the eyes which makes them approach the character of Albinesses. + </p> + <p> + I see in this young girl that union of strength and sensibility which, + when directed and impelled by the strong instinct so apt to accompany this + combination of active and passive capacity, we call genius. She is not an + accomplished artist, certainly, as yet; but there is always an air in + every careless figure she draws, as it were of upward aspiration,—the + elan of John of Bologna's Mercury,—a lift to them, as if they had on + winged sandals, like the herald of the Gods. I hear her singing sometimes; + and though she evidently is not trained, yet is there a wild sweetness in + her fitful and sometimes fantastic melodies,—such as can come only + from the inspiration of the moment,—strangely enough, reminding me + of those long passages I have heard from my little neighbor's room, yet of + different tone, and by no means to be mistaken for those weird harmonies. + </p> + <p> + I cannot pretend to deny that I am interested in the girl. Alone, + unprotected, as I have seen so many young girls left in boarding-houses, + the centre of all the men's eyes that surround the table, watched with + jealous sharpness by every woman, most of all by that poor relation of our + landlady, who belongs to the class of women that like to catch others in + mischief when they themselves are too mature for indiscretions, (as one + sees old rogues turn to thief-catchers,) one of Nature's gendarmerie, clad + in a complete suit of wrinkles, the cheapest coat-of-mail against the + shafts of the great little enemy,—so surrounded, Iris spans this + commonplace household-life of ours with her arch of beauty, as the + rainbow, whose name she borrows, looks down on a dreary pasture with its + feeding flocks and herds of indifferent animals. + </p> + <p> + These young girls that live in boarding-houses can do pretty much as they + will. The female gendarmes are off guard occasionally. The sitting-room + has its solitary moments, when any two boarders who wish to meet may come + together accidentally, (accidentally, I said, Madam, and I had not the + slightest intention of Italicizing the word,) and discuss the social or + political questions of the day, or any other subject that may prove + interesting. Many charming conversations take place at the foot of the + stairs, or while one of the parties is holding the latch of a door,—in + the shadow of porticoes, and especially on those outside balconies which + some of our Southern neighbors call “stoops,” the most charming places in + the world when the moon is just right and the roses and honeysuckles are + in full blow,—as we used to think in eighteen hundred and never + mention it. + </p> + <p> + On such a balcony or “stoop,” one evening, I walked with Iris. We were on + pretty good terms now, and I had coaxed her arm under mine,—my left + arm, of course. That leaves one's right arm free to defend the lovely + creature, if the rival—odious wretch! attempt, to ravish her from + your side. Likewise if one's heart should happen to beat a little, its + mute language will not be without its meaning, as you will perceive when + the arm you hold begins to tremble, a circumstance like to occur, if you + happen to be a good-looking young fellow, and you two have the “stoop” to + yourselves. + </p> + <p> + We had it to ourselves that evening. The Koh-inoor, as we called him, was + in a corner with our landlady's daughter. The young fellow John was + smoking out in the yard. The gendarme was afraid of the evening air, and + kept inside, The young Marylander came to the door, looked out and saw us + walking together, gave his hat a pull over his forehead and stalked off. I + felt a slight spasm, as it were, in the arm I held, and saw the girl's + head turn over her shoulder for a second. What a kind creature this is! + She has no special interest in this youth, but she does not like to see a + young fellow going off because he feels as if he were not wanted. + </p> + <p> + She had her locked drawing-book under her arm.—Let me take it,—I + said. + </p> + <p> + She gave it to me to carry. + </p> + <p> + This is full of caricatures of all of us, I am sure,—said I. + </p> + <p> + She laughed, and said,—No,—not all of you. + </p> + <p> + I was there, of course? + </p> + <p> + Why, no,—she had never taken so much pains with me. + </p> + <p> + Then she would let me see the inside of it? + </p> + <p> + She would think of it. + </p> + <p> + Just as we parted, she took a little key from her pocket and handed it to + me. This unlocks my naughty book,—she said,—you shall see it. + I am not afraid of you. + </p> + <p> + I don't know whether the last words exactly pleased me. At any rate, I + took the book and hurried with it to my room. I opened it, and saw, in a + few glances, that I held the heart of Iris in my hand. + </p> + <p> + —I have no verses for you this month, except these few lines + suggested by the season. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + MIDSUMMER. + + Here! sweep these foolish leaves away, + I will not crush my brains to-day! + Look! are the southern curtains drawn? + Fetch me a fan, and so begone! + + Not that,—the palm-tree's rustling leaf + Brought from a parching coral-reef! + Its breath is heated;—I would swing + The broad gray plumes,—the eagle's wing. + + I hate these roses' feverish blood! + Pluck me a half-blown lily-bud, + A long-stemmed lily from the lake, + Cold as a coiling water-snake. + + Rain me sweet odors on the air, + And wheel me up my Indian chair, + And spread some book not overwise + Flat out before my sleepy eyes. + + —Who knows it not,—this dead recoil + Of weary fibres stretched with toil, + The pulse that flutters faint and low + When Summer's seething breezes blow? + + O Nature! bare thy loving breast + And give thy child one hour of rest, + One little hour to lie unseen + Beneath thy scarf of leafy green! + + So, curtained by a singing pine, + Its murmuring voice shall blend with mine, + Till, lost in dreams, my faltering lay + In sweeter music dies away. +</pre> + <p> + X + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + IRIS, HER BOOK + + I pray thee by the soul of her that bore thee, + By thine own sister's spirit I implore thee, + Deal gently with the leaves that lie before thee! + + For Iris had no mother to infold her, + Nor ever leaned upon a sister's shoulder, + Telling the twilight thoughts that Nature told her. + + She had not learned the mystery of awaking + Those chorded keys that soothe a sorrow's aching, + Giving the dumb heart voice, that else were breaking. + + Yet lived, wrought, suffered. Lo, the pictured token! + Why should her fleeting day-dreams fade unspoken, + Like daffodils that die with sheaths unbroken? + + She knew not love, yet lived in maiden fancies, + Walked simply clad, a queen of high romances, + And talked strange tongues with angels in her trances. + + Twin-souled she seemed, a twofold nature wearing, + Sometimes a flashing falcon in her daring, + Then a poor mateless dove that droops despairing. + + Questioning all things: Why her Lord had sent her? + What were these torturing gifts, and wherefore lent her? + Scornful as spirit fallen, its own tormentor. + + And then all tears and anguish: Queen of Heaven, + Sweet Saints, and Thou by mortal sorrows riven, + Save me! oh, save me! Shall I die forgiven? + + And then—Ah, God! But nay, it little matters + Look at the wasted seeds that autumn scatters, + The myriad germs that Nature shapes and shatters! + + If she had—Well! She longed, and knew not wherefore + Had the world nothing she might live to care for? + No second self to say her evening prayer for? + + She knew the marble shapes that set men dreaming, + Yet with her shoulders bare and tresses streaming + Showed not unlovely to her simple seeming. + + Vain? Let it be so! Nature was her teacher. + What if a lonely and unsistered creature + Loved her own harmless gift of pleasing feature, + + Saying, unsaddened,—This shall soon be faded, + And double-hued the shining tresses braided, + And all the sunlight of the morning shaded? + + —This her poor book is full of saddest follies, + Of tearful smiles and laughing melancholies, + With summer roses twined and wintry hollies. + + In the strange crossing of uncertain chances, + Somewhere, beneath some maiden's tear-dimmed glances + May fall her little book of dreams and fancies. + + Sweet sister! Iris, who shall never name thee, + Trembling for fear her open heart may shame thee, + Speaks from this vision-haunted page to claim thee. + + Spare her, I pray thee! If the maid is sleeping, + Peace with her! she has had her hour of weeping. + No more! She leaves her memory in thy keeping. +</pre> + <p> + These verses were written in the first leaves of the locked volume. As I + turned the pages, I hesitated for a moment. Is it quite fair to take + advantage of a generous, trusting impulse to read the unsunned depths of a + young girl's nature, which I can look through, as the balloon-voyagers + tell us they see from their hanging-baskets through the translucent waters + which the keenest eye of such as sail over them in ships might strive to + pierce in vain? Why has the child trusted me with such artless + confessions,—self-revelations, which might be whispered by trembling + lips, under the veil of twilight, in sacred confessionals, but which I + cannot look at in the light of day without a feeling of wronging a sacred + confidence? + </p> + <p> + To all this the answer seemed plain enough after a little thought. She did + not know how fearfully she had disclosed herself; she was too profoundly + innocent. Her soul was no more ashamed than the fair shapes that walked in + Eden without a thought of over-liberal loveliness. Having nobody to tell + her story to,—having, as she said in her verses, no musical + instrument to laugh and cry with her,—nothing, in short, but the + language of pen and pencil,—all the veinings of her nature were + impressed on these pages as those of a fresh leaf are transferred to the + blank sheets which inclose it. It was the same thing which I remember + seeing beautifully shown in a child of some four or five years we had one + day at our boarding-house. The child was a deaf mute. But its soul had the + inner sense that answers to hearing, and the shaping capacity which + through natural organs realizes itself in words. Only it had to talk with + its face alone; and such speaking eyes, such rapid alternations of feeling + and shifting expressions of thought as flitted over its face, I have never + seen in any other human countenance. + </p> + <p> + I wonder if something of spiritual transparency is not typified in the + golden-blonde organization. There are a great many little creatures,—many + small fishes, for instance,—which are literally transparent, with + the exception of some of the internal organs. The heart can be seen + beating as if in a case of clouded crystal. The central nervous column + with its sheath runs as a dark stripe through the whole length of the + diaphanous muscles of the body. Other little creatures are so darkened + with pigment that we can see only their surface. Conspirators and + poisoners are painted with black, beady-eyes and swarthy hue; Judas, in + Leonardo's picture, is the model of them all. + </p> + <p> + However this may be, I should say there never had been a book like this of + Iris,—so full of the heart's silent language, so transparent that + the heart itself could be seen beating through it. I should say there + never could have been such a book, but for one recollection, which is not + peculiar to myself, but is shared by a certain number of my former + townsmen. If you think I over-color this matter of the young girl's book, + hear this, which there are others, as I just said, besides myself, will + tell you is strictly true. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /><a name="linkten" id="linkten"></a> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + X + </h2> + <p> + THE BOOK OF THE THREE MAIDEN SISTERS. + </p> + <p> + In the town called Cantabridge, now a city, water-veined and gas + windpiped, in the street running down to the Bridge, beyond which dwelt + Sally, told of in a book of a friend of mine, was of old a house inhabited + by three maidens. They left no near kinsfolk, I believe; whether they did + or not, I have no ill to speak of them; for they lived and died in all + good report and maidenly credit. The house they lived in was of the small, + gambrel-roofed cottage pattern, after the shape of Esquires' houses, but + after the size of the dwellings of handicraftsmen. The lower story was + fitted up as a shop. Specially was it provided with one of those + half-doors now so rarely met with, which are to whole doors as spencers + worn by old folk are to coats. They speak of limited commerce united with + a social or observing disposition—on the part of the shopkeeper,—allowing, + as they do, talk with passers-by, yet keeping off such as have not the + excuse of business to cross the threshold. On the door-posts, at either + side, above the half-door, hung certain perennial articles of merchandise, + of which my memory still has hanging among its faded photographs a kind of + netted scarf and some pairs of thick woollen stockings. More articles, but + not very many, were stored inside; and there was one drawer, containing + children's books, out of which I once was treated to a minute quarto + ornamented with handsome cuts. This was the only purchase I ever knew to + be made at the shop kept by the three maiden ladies, though it is probable + there were others. So long as I remember the shop, the same scarf and, I + should say, the same stockings hung on the door-posts.—You think I + am exaggerating again, and that shopkeepers would not keep the same + article exposed for years. Come to me, the Professor, and I will take you + in five minutes to a shop in this city where I will show you an article + hanging now in the very place where more than thirty years ago I myself + inquired the price of it of the present head of the establishment. [ This + was a glass alembic, which hung up in Daniel Henchman's apothecary shop, + corner of Cambridge and Chambers streets.] + </p> + <p> + The three maidens were of comely presence, and one of them had had claims + to be considered a Beauty. When I saw them in the old meeting-house on + Sundays, as they rustled in through the aisles in silks and satins, not + gay, but more than decent, as I remember them, I thought of My Lady + Bountiful in the history of “Little King Pippin,” and of the Madam Blaize + of Goldsmith (who, by the way, must have taken the hint of it from a + pleasant poem, “Monsieur de la Palisse,” attributed to De la Monnoye, in + the collection of French songs before me). There was some story of an old + romance in which the Beauty had played her part. Perhaps they all had had + lovers; for, as I said, they were shapely and seemly personages, as I + remember them; but their lives were out of the flower and in the berry at + the time of my first recollections. + </p> + <p> + One after another they all three dropped away, objects of kindly attention + to the good people round, leaving little or almost nothing, and nobody to + inherit it. Not absolutely nothing, of course. There must have been a few + old dresses—perhaps some bits of furniture, a Bible, and the + spectacles the good old souls read it through, and little keepsakes, such + as make us cry to look at, when we find them in old drawers;—such + relics there must have been. But there was more. There was a manuscript of + some hundred pages, closely written, in which the poor things had + chronicled for many years the incidents of their daily life. After their + death it was passed round somewhat freely, and fell into my hands. How I + have cried and laughed and colored over it! There was nothing in it to be + ashamed of, perhaps there was nothing in it to laugh at, but such a + picture of the mode of being of poor simple good old women I do believe + was never drawn before. And there were all the smallest incidents + recorded, such as do really make up humble life, but which die out of all + mere literary memoirs, as the houses where the Egyptians or the Athenians + lived crumble and leave only their temples standing. I know, for instance, + that on a given day of a certain year, a kindly woman, herself a poor + widow, now, I trust, not without special mercies in heaven for her good + deeds,—for I read her name on a proper tablet in the churchyard a + week ago,—sent a fractional pudding from her own table to the Maiden + Sisters, who, I fear, from the warmth and detail of their description, + were fasting, or at least on short allowance, about that time. I know who + sent them the segment of melon, which in her riotous fancy one of them + compared to those huge barges to which we give the ungracious name of + mudscows. But why should I illustrate further what it seems almost a + breach of confidence to speak of? Some kind friend, who could challenge a + nearer interest than the curious strangers into whose hands the book might + fall, at last claimed it, and I was glad that it should be henceforth + sealed to common eyes. I learned from it that every good and, alas! every + evil act we do may slumber unforgotten even in some earthly record. I got + a new lesson in that humanity which our sharp race finds it so hard to + learn. The poor widow, fighting hard to feed and clothe and educate her + children, had not forgotten the poorer ancient maidens. I remembered it + the other day, as I stood by her place of rest, and I felt sure that it + was remembered elsewhere. I know there are prettier words than pudding, + but I can't help it,—the pudding went upon the record, I feel sure, + with the mite which was cast into the treasury by that other poor widow + whose deed the world shall remember forever, and with the coats and + garments which the good women cried over, when Tabitha, called by + interpretation Dorcas, lay dead in the upper chamber, with her charitable + needlework strewed around her. + </p> + <p> + —Such was the Book of the Maiden Sisters. You will believe me more + readily now when I tell you that I found the soul of Iris in the one that + lay open before me. Sometimes it was a poem that held it, sometimes a + drawing, angel, arabesque, caricature, or a mere hieroglyphic symbol of + which I could make nothing. A rag of cloud on one page, as I remember, + with a streak of red zigzagging out of it across the paper as naturally as + a crack runs through a China bowl. On the next page a dead bird,—some + little favorite, I suppose; for it was worked out with a special love, and + I saw on the leaf that sign with which once or twice in my life I have had + a letter sealed,—a round spot where the paper is slightly + corrugated, and, if there is writing there, the letters are somewhat faint + and blurred. Most of the pages were surrounded with emblematic traceries. + It was strange to me at first to see how often she introduced those + homelier wild-flowers which we call weeds,—for it seemed there was + none of them too humble for her to love, and none too little cared for by + Nature to be without its beauty for her artist eye and pencil. By the side + of the garden-flowers,—of Spring's curled darlings, the hyacinths, + of rosebuds, dear to sketching maidens, of flower-de-luces and + morning-glories, nay, oftener than these, and more tenderly caressed by + the colored brush that rendered them,—were those common growths + which fling themselves to be crushed under our feet and our wheels, making + themselves so cheap in this perpetual martyrdom that we forget each of + them is a ray of the Divine beauty. + </p> + <p> + Yellow japanned buttercups and star-disked dandelions,—just as we + see them lying in the grass, like sparks that have leaped from the + kindling sun of summer; the profuse daisy-like flower which whitens the + fields, to the great disgust of liberal shepherds, yet seems fair to + loving eyes, with its button-like mound of gold set round with milk-white + rays; the tall-stemmed succory, setting its pale blue flowers aflame, one + after another, sparingly, as the lights are kindled in the candelabra of + decaying palaces where the heirs of dethroned monarchs are dying out; the + red and white clovers, the broad, flat leaves of the plantain,—“the + white man's foot,” as the Indians called it,—the wiry, jointed stems + of that iron creeping plant which we call “knot-grass,” and which loves + its life so dearly that it is next to impossible to murder it with a hoe, + as it clings to the cracks of the pavement;—all these plants, and + many more, she wove into her fanciful garlands and borders.—On one + of the pages were some musical notes. I touched them from curiosity on a + piano belonging to one of our boarders. Strange! There are passages that I + have heard before, plaintive, full of some hidden meaning, as if they were + gasping for words to interpret them. She must have heard the strains that + have so excited my curiosity, coming from my neighbor's chamber. The + illuminated border she had traced round the page that held these notes + took the place of the words they seemed to be aching for. Above, a long + monotonous sweep of waves, leaden-hued, anxious and jaded and sullen, if + you can imagine such an expression in water. On one side an Alpine needle, + as it were, of black basalt, girdled with snow. On the other a threaded + waterfall. The red morning-tint that shone in the drops had a strange + look,—one would say the cliff was bleeding;—perhaps she did + not mean it. Below, a stretch of sand, and a solitary bird of prey, with + his wings spread over some unseen object.—And on the very next page + a procession wound along, after the fashion of that on the title-page of + Fuller's “Holy War,” in which I recognized without difficulty every + boarder at our table in all the glory of the most resplendent caricature—three + only excepted,—the Little Gentleman, myself, and one other. + </p> + <p> + I confess I did expect to see something that would remind me of the girl's + little deformed neighbor, if not portraits of him.—There is a left + arm again, though;—no,—that is from the “Fighting Gladiator,” + the “Jeune Heros combattant” of the Louvre;—there is the broad ring + of the shield. From a cast, doubtless. [The separate casts of the + “Gladiator's” arm look immense; but in its place the limb looks light, + almost slender,—such is the perfection of that miraculous marble. I + never felt as if I touched the life of the old Greeks until I looked on + that statue.]—Here is something very odd, to be sure. An Eden of all + the humped and crooked creatures! What could have been in her head when + she worked out such a fantasy? She has contrived to give them all beauty + or dignity or melancholy grace. A Bactrian camel lying under a palm. A + dromedary flashing up the sands,—spray of the dry ocean sailed by + the “ship of the desert.” A herd of buffaloes, uncouth, shaggy-maned, + heavy in the forehand, light in the hind-quarter. [The buffalo is the lion + of the ruminants.] And there is a Norman horse, with his huge, rough + collar, echoing, as it were, the natural form of the other beast. And here + are twisted serpents; and stately swans, with answering curves in their + bowed necks, as if they had snake's blood under their white feathers; and + grave, high-shouldered herons standing on one foot like cripples, and + looking at life round them with the cold stare of monumental effigies.—A + very odd page indeed! Not a creature in it without a curve or a twist, and + not one of them a mean figure to look at. You can make your own comment; I + am fanciful, you know. I believe she is trying to idealize what we + vulgarly call deformity, which she strives to look at in the light of one + of Nature's eccentric curves, belonging to her system of beauty, as the + hyperbola, and parabola belong to the conic sections, though we cannot see + them as symmetrical and entire figures, like the circle and ellipse. At + any rate, I cannot help referring this paradise of twisted spines to some + idea floating in her head connected with her friend whom Nature has warped + in the moulding.—That is nothing to another transcendental fancy of + mine. I believe her soul thinks itself in his little crooked body at + times,—if it does not really get freed or half freed from her own. + Did you ever see a case of catalepsy? You know what I mean,—transient + loss of sense, will, and motion; body and limbs taking any position in + which they are put, as if they belonged to a lay-figure. She had been + talking with him and listening to him one day when the boarders moved from + the table nearly all at once. But she sat as before, her cheek resting on + her hand, her amber eyes wide open and still. I went to her, she was + breathing as usual, and her heart was beating naturally enough,—but + she did not answer. I bent her arm; it was as plastic as softened wax, and + kept the place I gave it.—This will never do, though, and I + sprinkled a few drops of water on her forehead. She started and looked + round.—I have been in a dream,—she said;—I feel as if + all my strength were in this arm;—give me your hand!—She took + my right hand in her left, which looked soft and white enough, but—Good + Heaven! I believe she will crack my bones! All the nervous power in her + body must have flashed through those muscles; as when a crazy lady snaps + her iron window-bars,—she who could hardly glove herself when in her + common health. Iris turned pale, and the tears came to her eyes;—she + saw she had given pain. Then she trembled, and might have fallen but for + me;—the poor little soul had been in one of those trances that + belong to the spiritual pathology of higher natures, mostly those of + women. + </p> + <p> + To come back to this wondrous book of Iris. Two pages faced each other + which I took for symbolical expressions of two states of mind. On the left + hand, a bright blue sky washed over the page, specked with a single bird. + No trace of earth, but still the winged creature seemed to be soaring + upward and upward. Facing it, one of those black dungeons such as Piranesi + alone of all men has pictured. I am sure she must have seen those awful + prisons of his, out of which the Opium-Eater got his nightmare vision, + described by another as “cemeteries of departed greatness, where monstrous + and forbidden things are crawling and twining their slimy convolutions + among mouldering bones, broken sculpture, and mutilated inscriptions.” + Such a black dungeon faced the page that held the blue sky and the single + bird; at the bottom of it something was coiled,—what, and whether + meant for dead or alive, my eyes could not make out. + </p> + <p> + I told you the young girl's soul was in this book. As I turned over the + last leaves I could not help starting. There were all sorts of faces among + the arabesques which laughed and scowled in the borders that ran round the + pages. They had mostly the outline of childish or womanly or manly beauty, + without very distinct individuality. But at last it seemed to me that some + of them were taking on a look not wholly unfamiliar to me; there were + features that did not seem new.—Can it be so? Was there ever such + innocence in a creature so full of life? She tells her heart's secrets as + a three-years-old child betrays itself without need of being questioned! + This was no common miss, such as are turned out in scores from the + young-lady-factories, with parchments warranting them accomplished and + virtuous,—in case anybody should question the fact. I began to + understand her;—and what is so charming as to read the secret of a + real femme incomprise?—for such there are, though they are not the + ones who think themselves uncomprehended women. + </p> + <p> + Poets are never young, in one sense. Their delicate ear hears the far-off + whispers of eternity, which coarser souls must travel towards for scores + of years before their dull sense is touched by them. A moment's insight is + sometimes worth a life's experience. I have frequently seen children, long + exercised by pain and exhaustion, whose features had a strange look of + advanced age. Too often one meets such in our charitable institutions. + Their faces are saddened and wrinkled, as if their few summers were + threescore years and ten. + </p> + <p> + And so, many youthful poets have written as if their hearts were old + before their time; their pensive morning twilight has been as cool and + saddening as that of evening in more common lives. The profound melancholy + of those lines of Shelley, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “I could lie down like a tired child + And weep away the life of care + Which I have borne and yet must bear.” + </pre> + <p> + came from a heart, as he says, “too soon grown old,”—at twenty-six + years, as dull people count time, even when they talk of poets. + </p> + <p> + I know enough to be prepared for an exceptional nature,—only this + gift of the hand in rendering every thought in form and color, as well as + in words, gives a richness to this young girl's alphabet of feeling and + imagery that takes me by surprise. And then besides, and most of all, I am + puzzled at her sudden and seemingly easy confidence in me. Perhaps I owe + it to my—Well, no matter! How one must love the editor who first + calls him the venerable So-and-So! + </p> + <p> + —I locked the book and sighed as I laid it down. The world is always + ready to receive talent with open arms. Very often it does not know what + to do with genius. Talent is a docile creature. It bows its head meekly + while the world slips the collar over it. It backs into the shafts like a + lamb. It draws its load cheerfully, and is patient of the bit and of the + whip. But genius is always impatient of its harness; its wild blood makes + it hard to train. + </p> + <p> + Talent seems, at first, in one sense, higher than genius,—namely, + that it is more uniformly and absolutely submitted to the will, and + therefore more distinctly human in its character. Genius, on the other + hand, is much more like those instincts which govern the admirable + movements of the lower creatures, and therefore seems to have something of + the lower or animal character. A goose flies by a chart which the Royal + Geographical Society could not mend. A poet, like the goose, sails without + visible landmarks to unexplored regions of truth, which philosophy has yet + to lay down on its atlas. The philosopher gets his track by observation; + the poet trusts to his inner sense, and makes the straighter and swifter + line. + </p> + <p> + And yet, to look at it in another light, is not even the lowest instinct + more truly divine than any voluntary human act done by the suggestion of + reason? What is a bee's architecture but an unobstructed divine thought?—what + is a builder's approximative rule but an obstructed thought of the + Creator, a mutilated and imperfect copy of some absolute rule Divine + Wisdom has established, transmitted through a human soul as an image + through clouded glass? + </p> + <p> + Talent is a very common family-trait; genius belongs rather to + individuals;—just as you find one giant or one dwarf in a family, + but rarely a whole brood of either. Talent is often to be envied, and + genius very commonly to be pitied. It stands twice the chance of the other + of dying in hospital, in jail, in debt, in bad repute. It is a perpetual + insult to mediocrity; its every word is a trespass against somebody's + vested ideas,—blasphemy against somebody's O'm, or intangible + private truth. + </p> + <p> + —What is the use of my weighing out antitheses in this way, like a + rhetorical grocer?—You know twenty men of talent, who are making + their way in the world; you may, perhaps, know one man of genius, and very + likely do not want to know any more. For a divine instinct, such as drives + the goose southward and the poet heavenward, is a hard thing to manage, + and proves too strong for many whom it possesses. It must have been a + terrible thing to have a friend like Chatterton or Burns. And here is a + being who certainly has more than talent, at once poet and artist in + tendency, if not yet fairly developed,—a woman, too;—and + genius grafted on womanhood is like to overgrow it and break its stem, as + you may see a grafted fruit-tree spreading over the stock which cannot + keep pace with its evolution. + </p> + <p> + I think now you know something of this young person. She wants nothing but + an atmosphere to expand in. Now and then one meets with a nature for which + our hard, practical New England life is obviously utterly incompetent. It + comes up, as a Southern seed, dropped by accident in one of our gardens, + finds itself trying to grow and blow into flower among the homely roots + and the hardy shrubs that surround it. There is no question that certain + persons who are born among us find themselves many degrees too far north. + Tropical by organization, they cannot fight for life with our eastern and + northwestern breezes without losing the color and fragrance into which + their lives would have blossomed in the latitude of myrtles and oranges. + Strange effects are produced by suffering any living thing to be developed + under conditions such as Nature had not intended for it. A French + physiologist confined some tadpoles under water in the dark. Removed from + the natural stimulus of light, they did not develop legs and arms at the + proper period of their growth, and so become frogs; they swelled and + spread into gigantic tadpoles. I have seen a hundred colossal human + tadpoles, overgrown Zarvce or embryos; nay, I am afraid we Protestants + should look on a considerable proportion of the Holy Father's one hundred + and thirty-nine millions as spiritual larvae, sculling about in the dark + by the aid of their caudal extremities, instead of standing on their legs, + and breathing by gills, instead of taking the free air of heaven into the + lungs made to receive it. Of course we never try to keep young souls in + the tadpole state, for fear they should get a pair or two of legs + by-and-by and jump out of the pool where they have been bred and fed! + Never! Never. Never? + </p> + <p> + Now to go back to our plant. You may know, that, for the earlier stages of + development of almost any vegetable, you only want air, water, light, and + warmth. But by-and-by, if it is to have special complex principles as a + part of its organization, they must be supplied by the soil;—your + pears will crack, if the root of the tree gets no iron,—your + asparagus-bed wants salt as much as you do. Just at the period of + adolescence, the mind often suddenly begins to come into flower and to set + its fruit. Then it is that many young natures, having exhausted the + spiritual soil round them of all it contains of the elements they demand, + wither away, undeveloped and uncolored, unless they are transplanted. + </p> + <p> + Pray for these dear young souls! This is the second natural birth;—for + I do not speak of those peculiar religious experiences which form the + point of transition in many lives between the consciousness of a general + relation to the Divine nature and a special personal relation. The litany + should count a prayer for them in the list of its supplications; masses + should be said for them as for souls in purgatory; all good Christians + should remember them as they remember those in peril through travel or + sickness or in warfare. + </p> + <p> + I would transport this child to Rome at once, if I had my will. She should + ripen under an Italian sun. She should walk under the frescoed vaults of + palaces, until her colors deepened to those of Venetian beauties, and her + forms were perfected into rivalry with the Greek marbles, and the east + wind was out of her soil. Has she not exhausted this lean soil of the + elements her growing nature requires? + </p> + <p> + I do not know. The magnolia grows and comes into full flower on Cape Ann, + many degrees out of its proper region. I was riding once along that + delicious road between the hills and the sea, when we passed a thicket + where there seemed to be a chance of finding it. In five minutes I had + fallen on the trees in full blossom, and filled my arms with the sweet, + resplendent flowers. I could not believe I was in our cold, northern + Essex, which, in the dreary season when I pass its slate-colored, + unpainted farm-houses, and huge, square, windy, 'squire-built “mansions,” + looks as brown and unvegetating as an old rug with its patterns all + trodden out and the colored fringe worn from all its border. + </p> + <p> + If the magnolia can bloom in northern New England, why should not a poet + or a painter come to his full growth here just as well? Yes, but if the + gorgeous tree-flower is rare, and only as if by a freak of Nature springs + up in a single spot among the beeches and alders, is there not as much + reason to think the perfumed flower of imaginative genius will find it + hard to be born and harder to spread its leaves in the clear, cold + atmosphere of our ultra-temperate zone of humanity? + </p> + <p> + Take the poet. On the one hand, I believe that a person with the poetical + faculty finds material everywhere. The grandest objects of sense and + thought are common to all climates and civilizations. The sky, the woods, + the waters, the storms, life, death love, the hope and vision of eternity,—these + are images that write themselves in poetry in every soul which has + anything of the divine gift. + </p> + <p> + On the other hand, there is such a thing as a lean, impoverished life, in + distinction from a rich and suggestive one. Which our common New England + life might be considered, I will not decide. But there are some things I + think the poet misses in our western Eden. I trust it is not unpatriotic + to mention them in this point of view as they come before us in so many + other aspects. + </p> + <p> + There is no sufficient flavor of humanity in the soil out of which we + grow. At Cantabridge, near the sea, I have once or twice picked up an + Indian arrowhead in a fresh furrow. At Canoe Meadow, in the Berkshire + Mountains, I have found Indian arrowheads. So everywhere Indian + arrowheads. Whether a hundred or a thousand years old, who knows? who + cares? There is no history to the red race,—there is hardly an + individual in it;—a few instincts on legs and holding a tomahawk—there + is the Indian of all time. The story of one red ant is the story of all + red ants. So, the poet, in trying to wing his way back through the life + that has kindled, flitted, and faded along our watercourses and on our + southern hillsides for unknown generations, finds nothing to breathe or + fly in; he meets + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “A vast vacuity! all unawares, + Fluttering his pennons vain, plumb down he drops + Ten thousand fathom deep.” + </pre> + <p> + But think of the Old World,—that part of it which is the seat of + ancient civilization! The stakes of the Britons' stockades are still + standing in the bed of the Thames. The ploughman turns up an old Saxon's + bones, and beneath them is a tessellated pavement of the time of the + Caesars. In Italy, the works of mediaeval Art seem to be of yesterday,—Rome, + under her kings, is but an intruding newcomer, as we contemplate her in + the shadow of the Cyclopean walls of Fiesole or Volterra. It makes a man + human to live on these old humanized soils. He cannot help marching in + step with his kind in the rear of such a procession. They say a dead man's + hand cures swellings, if laid on them. There is nothing like the dead cold + hand of the Past to take down our tumid egotism and lead us into the + solemn flow of the life of our race. Rousseau came out of one of his sad + self-torturing fits, as he cast his eye on the arches of the old Roman + aqueduct, the Pont du Gard. + </p> + <p> + I am far from denying that there is an attraction in a thriving railroad + village. The new “depot,” the smartly-painted pine houses, the spacious + brick hotel, the white meeting-house, and the row of youthful and leggy + trees before it, are exhilarating. They speak of progress, and the time + when there shall be a city, with a His Honor the Mayor, in the place of + their trim but transient architectural growths. Pardon me, if I prefer the + pyramids. They seem to me crystals formed from a stronger solution of + humanity than the steeple of the new meeting-house. I may be wrong, but + the Tiber has a voice for me, as it whispers to the piers of the Pons + Alius, even more full of meaning than my well-beloved Charles eddying + round the piles of West Boston Bridge. + </p> + <p> + Then, again, we Yankees are a kind of gypsies,—a mechanical and + migratory race. A poet wants a home. He can dispense with an apple-parer + and a reaping-machine. I feel this more for others than for myself, for + the home of my birth and childhood has been as yet exempted from the + change which has invaded almost everything around it. + </p> + <p> + —Pardon me a short digression. To what small things our memory and + our affections attach themselves! I remember, when I was a child, that one + of the girls planted some Star-of-Bethlehem bulbs in the southwest corner + of our front-yard. Well, I left the paternal roof and wandered in other + lands, and learned to think in the words of strange people. But after many + years, as I looked on the little front-yard again, it occurred to me that + there used to be some Star-of-Bethlehems in the southwest corner. The + grass was tall there, and the blade of the plant is very much like grass, + only thicker and glossier. Even as Tully parted the briers and brambles + when he hunted for the sphere-containing cylinder that marked the grave of + Archimedes, so did I comb the grass with my fingers for my monumental + memorial-flower. Nature had stored my keepsake tenderly in her bosom; the + glossy, faintly streaked blades were there; they are there still, though + they never flower, darkened as they are by the shade of the elms and + rooted in the matted turf. + </p> + <p> + Our hearts are held down to our homes by innumerable fibres, trivial as + that I have just recalled; but Gulliver was fixed to the soil, you + remember, by pinning his head a hair at a time. Even a stone with a + whitish band crossing it, belonging to the pavement of the back-yard, + insisted on becoming one of the talismans of memory. This intussusception + of the ideas of inanimate objects, and their faithful storing away among + the sentiments, are curiously prefigured in the material structure of the + thinking centre itself. In the very core of the brain, in the part where + Des Cartes placed the soul, is a small mineral deposit, consisting, as I + have seen it in the microscope, of grape-like masses of crystalline + matter. + </p> + <p> + But the plants that come up every year in the same place, like the + Star-of-Bethlehems, of all the lesser objects, give me the liveliest + home-feeling. Close to our ancient gambrel-roofed house is the dwelling of + pleasant old Neighbor Walrus. I remember the sweet honeysuckle that I saw + in flower against the wall of his house a few months ago, as long as I + remember the sky and stars. That clump of peonies, butting their purple + heads through the soil every spring in just the same circle, and by-and-by + unpacking their hard balls of buds in flowers big enough to make a double + handful of leaves, has come up in just that place, Neighbor Walrus tells + me, for more years than I have passed on this planet. It is a rare + privilege in our nomadic state to find the home of one's childhood and its + immediate neighborhood thus unchanged. Many born poets, I am afraid, + flower poorly in song, or not at all, because they have been too often + transplanted. + </p> + <p> + Then a good many of our race are very hard and unimaginative;—their + voices have nothing caressing; their movements are as of machinery without + elasticity or oil. I wish it were fair to print a letter a young girl, + about the age of our Iris, wrote a short time since. “I am *** *** ***,” + she says, and tells her whole name outright. Ah!—said I, when I read + that first frank declaration,—you are one of the right sort!—She + was. A winged creature among close-clipped barn door fowl. How tired the + poor girl was of the dull life about her,—the old woman's “skeleton + hand” at the window opposite, drawing her curtains,—“Ma'am shooing + away the hens,”—the vacuous country eyes staring at her as only + country eyes can stare,—a routine of mechanical duties, and the + soul's half-articulated cry for sympathy, without an answer! Yes,—pray + for her, and for all such! Faith often cures their longings; but it is so + hard to give a soul to heaven that has not first been trained in the + fullest and sweetest human affections! Too often they fling their hearts + away on unworthy objects. Too often they pine in a secret discontent, + which spreads its leaden cloud over the morning of their youth. The + immeasurable distance between one of these delicate natures and the + average youths among whom is like to be her only choice makes one's heart + ache. How many women are born too finely organized in sense and soul for + the highway they must walk with feet unshod! Life is adjusted to the wants + of the stronger sex. There are plenty of torrents to be crossed in its + journey; but their stepping-stones are measured by the stride of man, and + not of woman. + </p> + <p> + Women are more subject than men to atrophy of the heart. So says the great + medical authority, Laennec. Incurable cases of this kind used to find + their hospitals in convents. We have the disease in New England,—but + not the hospitals. I don't like to think of it. I will not believe our + young Iris is going to die out in this way. Providence will find her some + great happiness, or affliction, or duty,—and which would be best for + her, I cannot tell. One thing is sure: the interest she takes in her + little neighbor is getting to be more engrossing than ever. Something is + the matter with him, and she knows it, and I think worries herself about + it. + </p> + <p> + I wonder sometimes how so fragile and distorted a frame has kept the fiery + spirit that inhabits it so long its tenant. He accounts for it in his own + way. + </p> + <p> + The air of the Old World is good for nothing, he said, one day.—Used + up, Sir,—breathed over and over again. You must come to this side, + Sir, for an atmosphere fit to breathe nowadays. Did not worthy Mr. + Higginson say that a breath of New England's air is better than a sup of + Old England's ale? I ought to have died when I was a boy, Sir; but I could + n't die in this Boston air,—and I think I shall have to go to New + York one of these days, when it's time for me to drop this bundle,—or + to New Orleans, where they have the yellow fever,—or to + Philadelphia, where they have so many doctors. + </p> + <p> + This was some time ago; but of late he has seemed, as I have before said, + to be ailing. An experienced eye, such as I think I may call mine, can + tell commonly whether a man is going to die, or not, long before he or his + friends are alarmed about him. I don't like it. + </p> + <p> + Iris has told me that the Scottish gift of second-sight runs in her + family, and that she is afraid she has it. Those who are so endowed look + upon a well man and see a shroud wrapt about him. According to the degree + to which it covers him, his death will be near or more remote. It is an + awful faculty; but science gives one too much like it. Luckily for our + friends, most of us who have the scientific second-sight school ourselves + not to betray our knowledge by word or look. + </p> + <p> + Day by day, as the Little Gentleman comes to the table, it seems to me + that the shadow of some approaching change falls darker and darker over + his countenance. Nature is struggling with something, and I am afraid she + is under in the wrestling-match. You do not care much, perhaps, for my + particular conjectures as to the nature of his difficulty. I should say, + however, from the sudden flushes to which he is subject, and certain other + marks which, as an expert, I know how to interpret, that his heart was in + trouble; but then he presses his hand to the right side, as if there were + the centre of his uneasiness. + </p> + <p> + When I say difficulty about the heart, I do not mean any of those + sentimental maladies of that organ which figure more largely in romances + than on the returns which furnish our Bills of Mortality. I mean some + actual change in the organ itself, which may carry him off by slow and + painful degrees, or strike him down with one huge pang and only time for a + single shriek,—as when the shot broke through the brave Captain + Nolan's breast, at the head of the Light Brigade at Balaklava, and with a + loud cry he dropped dead from his saddle. + </p> + <p> + I thought it only fair to say something of what I apprehended to some who + were entitled to be warned. The landlady's face fell when I mentioned my + fears. + </p> + <p> + Poor man!—she said.—And will leave the best room empty! Has + n't he got any sisters or nieces or anybody to see to his things, if he + should be took away? Such a sight of cases, full of everything! Never + thought of his failin' so suddin. A complication of diseases, she + expected. Liver-complaint one of 'em? + </p> + <p> + After this first involuntary expression of the too natural selfish + feelings, (which we must not judge very harshly, unless we happen to be + poor widows ourselves, with children to keep filled, covered, and taught,—rents + high,—beef eighteen to twenty cents per pound,)—after this + first squeak of selfishness, followed by a brief movement of curiosity, so + invariable in mature females, as to the nature of the complaint which + threatens the life of a friend or any person who may happen to be + mentioned as ill,—the worthy soul's better feelings struggled up to + the surface, and she grieved for the doomed invalid, until a tear or two + came forth and found their way down a channel worn for them since the + early days of her widowhood. + </p> + <p> + Oh, this dreadful, dreadful business of being the prophet of evil! Of all + the trials which those who take charge of others' health and lives have to + undergo, this is the most painful. It is all so plain to the practised + eye!—and there is the poor wife, the doting mother, who has never + suspected anything, or at least has clung always to the hope which you are + just going to wrench away from her!—I must tell Iris that I think + her poor friend is in a precarious state. She seems nearer to him than + anybody. + </p> + <p> + I did tell her. Whatever emotion it produced, she kept a still face, + except, perhaps, a little trembling of the lip.—Could I be certain + that there was any mortal complaint?—Why, no, I could not be + certain; but it looked alarming to me.—He shall have some of my + life,—she said. + </p> + <p> + I suppose this to have been a fancy of hers, or a kind of magnetic power + she could give out;—at any rate, I cannot help thinking she wills + her strength away from herself, for she has lost vigor and color from that + day. I have sometimes thought he gained the force she lost; but this may + have been a whim, very probably. + </p> + <p> + One day she came suddenly to me, looking deadly pale. Her lips moved, as + if she were speaking; but I could not at first hear a word. Her hair + looked strangely, as if lifting itself, and her eyes were full of wild + light. She sunk upon a chair, and I thought was falling into one of her + trances. Something had frozen her blood with fear; I thought, from what + she said, half audibly, that she believed she had seen a shrouded figure. + </p> + <p> + That night, at about eleven o'clock, I was sent for to see the Little + Gentleman, who was taken suddenly ill. Bridget, the servant, went before + me with a light. The doors were both unfastened, and I found myself + ushered, without hindrance, into the dim light of the mysterious apartment + I had so longed to enter. + </p> + <p> + I found these stanzas in the young girl's book among many others. I give + them as characterizing the tone of her sadder moments. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + UNDER THE VIOLETS. + + Her hands are cold; her face is white; + No more her pulses come and go; + Her eyes are shut to life and light; + Fold the white vesture, snow on snow, + And lay her where the violets blow. + + But not beneath a graven stone, + To plead for tears with alien eyes; + A slender cross of wood alone + Shall say, that here a maiden lies + In peace beneath the peaceful skies. + + And gray old trees of hugest limb + Shall wheel their circling shadows round + To make the scorching sunlight dim + That drinks the greenness from the ground, + And drop their dead leaves on her mound. + + When o'er their boughs the squirrels run, + And through their leaves the robins call, + And, ripening in the autumn sun, + The acorns and the chestnuts fall, + Doubt not that she will heed them all. + + For her the morning choir shall sing + Its matins from the branches high, + And every minstrel voice of spring, + That trills beneath the April sky, + Shall greet her with its earliest cry. + + When, turning round their dial-track, + Eastward the lengthening shadows pass, + Her little mourners, clad in black, + The crickets, sliding through the grass, + Shall pipe for her an evening mass. + + At last the rootlets of the trees + Shall find the prison where she lies, + And bear the buried dust they seize + In leaves and blossoms to the skies. + So may the soul that warmed it rise! + + If any, born of kindlier blood, + Should ask, What maiden lies below? + Say only this: A tender bud, + That tried to blossom in the snow, + Lies withered where the violets blow. +</pre> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0013" id="link2H_4_0013"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + XI + </h2> + <p> + You will know, perhaps, in the course of half an hour's reading, what has + been haunting my hours of sleep and waking for months. I cannot tell, of + course, whether you are a nervous person or not. If, however, you are such + a person,—if it is late at night,—if all the rest of the + household have gone off to bed,—if the wind is shaking your windows + as if a human hand were rattling the sashes,—if your candle or lamp + is low and will soon burn out,—let me advise you to take up some + good quiet sleepy volume, or attack the “Critical Notices” of the last + Quarterly and leave this to be read by daylight, with cheerful voices + round, and people near by who would hear you, if you slid from your chair + and came down in a lump on the floor. + </p> + <p> + I do not say that your heart will beat as mine did, I am willing to + confess, when I entered the dim chamber. Did I not tell you that I was + sensitive and imaginative, and that I had lain awake with thinking what + were the strange movements and sounds which I heard late at night in my + little neighbor's apartment? It had come to that pass that I was truly + unable to separate what I had really heard from what I had dreamed in + those nightmares to which I have been subject, as before mentioned. So, + when I walked into the room, and Bridget, turning back, closed the door + and left me alone with its tenant, I do believe you could have grated a + nutmeg on my skin, such a “goose-flesh” shiver ran over it. It was not + fear, but what I call nervousness,—unreasoning, but irresistible; as + when, for instance, one looking at the sun going down says, “I will count + fifty before it disappears”; and as he goes on and it becomes doubtful + whether he will reach the number, he gets strangely flurried, and his + imagination pictures life and death and heaven and hell as the issues + depending on the completion or non-completion of the fifty he is counting. + Extreme curiosity will excite some people as much as fear, or what + resembles fear, acts on some other less impressible natures. + </p> + <p> + I may find myself in the midst of strange facts in this little conjurer's + room. Or, again, there may be nothing in this poor invalid's chamber but + some old furniture, such as they say came over in the Mayflower. All this + is just what I mean to, find out while I am looking at the Little + Gentleman, who has suddenly become my patient. The simplest things turn + out to be unfathomable mysteries; the most mysterious appearances prove to + be the most commonplace objects in disguise. + </p> + <p> + I wonder whether the boys who live in Roxbury and Dorchester are ever + moved to tears or filled with silent awe as they look upon the rocks and + fragments of “puddingstone” abounding in those localities. I have my + suspicions that those boys “heave a stone” or “fire a brickbat,” composed + of the conglomerate just mentioned, without any more tearful or + philosophical contemplations than boys of less favored regions expend on + the same performance. Yet a lump of puddingstone is a thing to look at, to + think about, to study over, to dream upon, to go crazy with, to beat one's + brains out against. Look at that pebble in it. From what cliff was it + broken? On what beach rolled by the waves of what ocean? How and when + imbedded in soft ooze, which itself became stone, and by-and-by was lifted + into bald summits and steep cliffs, such as you may see on + Meetinghouse-Hill any day—yes, and mark the scratches on their faces + left when the boulder-carrying glaciers planed the surface of the + continent with such rough tools that the storms have not worn the marks + out of it with all the polishing of ever so many thousand years? + </p> + <p> + Or as you pass a roadside ditch or pool in springtime, take from it any + bit of stick or straw which has lain undisturbed for a time. Some little + worm-shaped masses of clear jelly containing specks are fastened to the + stick: eggs of a small snail-like shell-fish. One of these specks + magnified proves to be a crystalline sphere with an opaque mass in its + centre. And while you are looking, the opaque mass begins to stir, and + by-and-by slowly to turn upon its axis like a forming planet,—life + beginning in the microcosm, as in the great worlds of the firmament, with + the revolution that turns the surface in ceaseless round to the source of + life and light. + </p> + <p> + A pebble and the spawn of a mollusk! Before you have solved their + mysteries, this earth where you first saw them may be a vitrified slag, or + a vapor diffused through the planetary spaces. Mysteries are common + enough, at any rate, whatever the boys in Roxbury and Dorchester think of + “brickbats” and the spawn of creatures that live in roadside puddles. + </p> + <p> + But then a great many seeming mysteries are relatively perfectly plain, + when we can get at them so as to turn them over. How many ghosts that + “thick men's blood with cold” prove to be shirts hung out to dry! How many + mermaids have been made out of seals! How many times have horse-mackerels + been taken for the sea-serpent! + </p> + <p> + —Let me take the whole matter coolly, while I see what is the matter + with the patient. That is what I say to myself, as I draw a chair to the + bedside. The bed is an old-fashioned, dark mahogany four-poster. It was + never that which made the noise of something moving. It is too heavy to be + pushed about the room.—The Little Gentleman was sitting, bolstered + up by pillows, with his hands clasped and their united palms resting on + the back of the head, one of the three or four positions specially + affected by persons whose breathing is difficult from disease of the heart + or other causes. + </p> + <p> + Sit down, Sir,—he said,—sit down! I have come to the hill + Difficulty, Sir, and am fighting my way up.—His speech was laborious + and interrupted. + </p> + <p> + Don't talk,—I said,—except to answer my questions.—And I + proceeded to “prospect” for the marks of some local mischief, which you + know is at the bottom of all these attacks, though we do not always find + it. I suppose I go to work pretty much like other professional folks of my + temperament. Thus: + </p> + <p> + Wrist, if you please.—I was on his right side, but he presented his + left wrist, crossing it over the other.—I begin to count, holding + watch in left hand. One, two, three, four,—What a handsome hand! + wonder if that splendid stone is a carbuncle.—One, two, three, four, + five, six, seven,—Can't see much, it is so dark, except one white + object.—One, two, three, four,—Hang it! eighty or ninety in + the minute, I guess.—Tongue, if you please.—Tongue is put out. + Forget to look at it, or, rather, to take any particular notice of it;—but + what is that white object, with the long arm stretching up as if pointing + to the sky, just as Vesalius and Spigelius and those old fellows used to + put their skeletons? I don't think anything of such objects, you know; but + what should he have it in his chamber for? As I had found his pulse + irregular and intermittent, I took out a stethoscope, which is a + pocket-spyglass for looking into people's chests with your ears, and laid + it over the place where the heart beats. I missed the usual beat of the + organ.—How is this?—I said,—where is your heart gone to?—He + took the stethoscope and shifted it across to the right side; there was a + displacement of the organ.—I am ill-packed,—he said;—there + was no room for my heart in its place as it is with other men.—God + help him! + </p> + <p> + It is hard to draw the line between scientific curiosity and the desire + for the patient's sake to learn all the details of his condition. I must + look at this patient's chest, and thump it and listen to it. For this is a + case of ectopia cordis, my boy,—displacement of the heart; and it is + n't every day you get a chance to overhaul such an interesting + malformation. And so I managed to do my duty and satisfy my curiosity at + the same time. The torso was slight and deformed; the right arm + attenuated,—the left full, round, and of perfect symmetry. It had + run away with the life of the other limbs,—a common trick enough of + Nature's, as I told you before. If you see a man with legs withered from + childhood, keep out of the way of his arms, if you have a quarrel with + him. He has the strength of four limbs in two; and if he strikes you, it + is an arm-blow plus a kick administered from the shoulder instead of the + haunch, where it should have started from. + </p> + <p> + Still examining him as a patient, I kept my eyes about me to search all + parts of the chamber and went on with the double process, as before.—Heart + hits as hard as a fist,—bellows-sound over mitral valves + (professional terms you need not attend to).—What the deuse is that + long case for? Got his witch grandmother mummied in it? And three big + mahogany presses,—hey?—A diabolical suspicion came over me + which I had had once before,—that he might be one of our modern + alchemists,—you understand, make gold, you know, or what looks like + it, sometimes with the head of a king or queen or of Liberty to embellish + one side of the piece.—Don't I remember hearing him shut a door and + lock it once? What do you think was kept under that lock? Let's have + another look at his hand, to see if there are any calluses. + </p> + <p> + One can tell a man's business, if it is a handicraft, very often by just + taking a look at his open hand. Ah! Four calluses at the end of the + fingers of the right hand. None on those of the left. Ah, ha! What do + those mean? + </p> + <p> + All this seems longer in the telling, of course, than it was in fact. + While I was making these observations of the objects around me, I was also + forming my opinion as to the kind of case with which I had to deal. + </p> + <p> + There are three wicks, you know, to the lamp of a man's life: brain, + blood, and breath. Press the brain a little, its light goes out, followed + by both the others. Stop the heart a minute and out go all three of the + wicks. Choke the air out of the lungs, and presently the fluid ceases to + supply the other centres of flame, and all is soon stagnation, cold, and + darkness. The “tripod of life” a French physiologist called these three + organs. It is all clear enough which leg of the tripod is going to break + down here. I could tell you exactly what the difficulty is;—which + would be as intelligible and amusing as a watchmaker's description of a + diseased timekeeper to a ploughman. It is enough to say, that I found just + what I expected to, and that I think this attack is only the prelude of + more serious consequences,—which expression means you very well know + what. + </p> + <p> + And now the secrets of this life hanging on a thread must surely come out. + If I have made a mystery where there was none, my suspicions will be + shamed, as they have often been before. If there is anything strange, my + visits will clear it up. + </p> + <p> + I sat an hour or two by the side of the Little Gentleman's bed, after + giving him some henbane to quiet his brain, and some foxglove, which an + imaginative French professor has called the “Opium of the Heart.” Under + their influence he gradually fell into an uneasy, half-waking slumber, the + body fighting hard for every breath, and the mind wandering off in strange + fancies and old recollections, which escaped from his lips in broken + sentences. + </p> + <p> + —The last of 'em,—he said,—the last of 'em all,—thank + God! And the grave he lies in will look just as well as if he had been + straight. Dig it deep, old Martin, dig it deep,—and let it be as + long as other folks' graves. And mind you get the sods flat, old man,—flat + as ever a straight-backed young fellow was laid under. And then, with a + good tall slab at the head, and a foot-stone six foot away from it, it'll + look just as if there was a man underneath. + </p> + <p> + A man! Who said he was a man? No more men of that pattern to bear his + name!—Used to be a good-looking set enough.—Where 's all the + manhood and womanhood gone to since his great-grandfather was the + strongest man that sailed out of the town of Boston, and poor Leah there + the handsomest woman in Essex, if she was a witch? + </p> + <p> + —Give me some light,—he said,—more light. I want to see + the picture. + </p> + <p> + He had started either from a dream or a wandering reverie. I was not + unwilling to have more light in the apartment, and presently had lighted + an astral lamp that stood on a table.—He pointed to a portrait + hanging against the wall.—Look at her,—he said,—look at + her! Wasn't that a pretty neck to slip a hangman's noose over? + </p> + <p> + The portrait was of a young woman, something more than twenty years old, + perhaps. There were few pictures of any merit painted in New England + before the time of Smibert, and I am at a loss to know what artist could + have taken this half-length, which was evidently from life. It was + somewhat stiff and flat, but the grace of the figure and the sweetness of + the expression reminded me of the angels of the early Florentine painters. + She must have been of some consideration, for she was dressed in paduasoy + and lace with hanging sleeves, and the old carved frame showed how the + picture had been prized by its former owners. A proud eye she had, with + all her sweetness.—I think it was that which hanged her, as his + strong arm hanged Minister George Burroughs;—but it may have been a + little mole on one cheek, which the artist had just hinted as a beauty + rather than a deformity. You know, I suppose, that nursling imps addict + themselves, after the fashion of young opossums, to these little + excrescences. “Witch-marks” were good evidence that a young woman was one + of the Devil's wet-nurses;—I should like to have seen you make fun + of them in those days!—Then she had a brooch in her bodice, that + might have been taken for some devilish amulet or other; and she wore a + ring upon one of her fingers, with a red stone in it, that flamed as if + the painter had dipped his pencil in fire;—who knows but that it was + given her by a midnight suitor fresh from that fierce element, and + licensed for a season to leave his couch of flame to tempt the + unsanctified hearts of earthly maidens and brand their cheeks with the + print of his scorching kisses? + </p> + <p> + She and I,—he said, as he looked steadfastly at the canvas,—she + and I are the last of 'em.—She will stay, and I shall go. They never + painted me,—except when the boys used to make pictures of me with + chalk on the board-fences. They said the doctors would want my skeleton + when I was dead.—You are my friend, if you are a doctor,—a'n't + you? + </p> + <p> + I just gave him my hand. I had not the heart to speak. + </p> + <p> + I want to lie still,—he said,—after I am put to bed upon the + hill yonder. Can't you have a great stone laid over me, as they did over + the first settlers in the old burying-ground at Dorchester, so as to keep + the wolves from digging them up? I never slept easy over the sod;—I + should like to lie quiet under it. And besides,—he said, in a kind + of scared whisper,—I don't want to have my bones stared at, as my + body has been. I don't doubt I was a remarkable case; but, for God's sake, + oh, for God's sake, don't let 'em make a show of the cage I have been shut + up in and looked through the bars of for so many years. + </p> + <p> + I have heard it said that the art of healing makes men hard-hearted and + indifferent to human suffering. I am willing to own that there is often a + professional hardness in surgeons, just as there is in theologians,—only + much less in degree than in these last. It does not commonly improve the + sympathies of a man to be in the habit of thrusting knives into his + fellow-creatures and burning them with red-hot irons, any more than it + improves them to hold the blinding-white cantery of Gehenna by its cool + handle and score and crisp young souls with it until they are scorched + into the belief of—Transubstantiation or the Immaculate Conception. + And, to say the plain truth, I think there are a good many coarse people + in both callings. A delicate nature will not commonly choose a pursuit + which implies the habitual infliction of suffering, so readily as some + gentler office. Yet, while I am writing this paragraph, there passes by my + window, on his daily errand of duty, not seeing me, though I catch a + glimpse of his manly features through the oval glass of his chaise, as he + drives by, a surgeon of skill and standing, so friendly, so modest, so + tenderhearted in all his ways, that, if he had not approved himself at + once adroit and firm, one would have said he was of too kindly a mould to + be the minister of pain, even if he were saving pain. + </p> + <p> + You may be sure that some men, even among those who have chosen the task + of pruning their fellow-creatures, grow more and more thoughtful and truly + compassionate in the midst of their cruel experience. They become less + nervous, but more sympathetic. They have a truer sensibility for others' + pain, the more they study pain and disease in the light of science. I have + said this without claiming any special growth in humanity for myself, + though I do hope I grow tenderer in my feelings as I grow older. At any + rate, this was not a time in which professional habits could keep down + certain instincts of older date than these. + </p> + <p> + This poor little man's appeal to my humanity against the supposed rapacity + of Science, which he feared would have her “specimen,” if his ghost should + walk restlessly a thousand years, waiting for his bones to be laid in the + dust, touched my heart. But I felt bound to speak cheerily. + </p> + <p> + —We won't die yet awhile, if we can help it,—I said,—and + I trust we can help it. But don't be afraid; if I live longest, I will see + that your resting place is kept sacred till the dandelions and buttercups + blow over you. + </p> + <p> + He seemed to have got his wits together by this time, and to have a vague + consciousness that he might have been saying more than he meant for + anybody's ears.—I have been talking a little wild, Sir, eh? he said.—There + is a great buzzing in my head with those drops of yours, and I doubt if my + tongue has not been a little looser than I would have it, Sir. But I don't + much want to live, Sir; that's the truth of the matter, and it does rather + please me to think that fifty years from now nobody will know that the + place where I lie does n't hold as stout and straight a man as the best of + 'em that stretch out as if they were proud of the room they take. You may + get me well, if you can, Sir, if you think it worth while to try; but I + tell you there has been no time for this many a year when the smell of + fresh earth was not sweeter to me than all the flowers that grow out of + it. There's no anodyne like your good clean gravel, Sir. But if you can + keep me about awhile, and it amuses you to try, you may show your skill + upon me, if you like. There is a pleasure or two that I love the daylight + for, and I think the night is not far off, at best.—I believe I + shall sleep now; you may leave me, and come, if you like, in the morning. + </p> + <p> + Before I passed out, I took one more glance round the apartment. The + beautiful face of the portrait looked at me, as portraits often do, with a + frightful kind of intelligence in its eyes. The drapery fluttered on the + still outstretched arm of the tall object near the window;—a crack + of this was open, no doubt, and some breath of wind stirred the hanging + folds. In my excited state, I seemed to see something ominous in that arm + pointing to the heavens. I thought of the figures in the Dance of Death at + Basle, and that other on the panels of the covered Bridge at Lucerne, and + it seemed to me that the grim mask who mingles with every crowd and glides + over every threshold was pointing the sick man to his far home, and would + soon stretch out his bony hand and lead him or drag him on the unmeasured + journey towards it. + </p> + <p> + The fancy had possession of me, and I shivered again as when I first + entered the chamber. The picture and the shrouded shape; I saw only these + two objects. They were enough. The house was deadly still, and the + night-wind, blowing through an open window, struck me as from a field of + ice, at the moment I passed into the creaking corridor. As I turned into + the common passage, a white figure, holding a lamp, stood full before me. + I thought at first it was one of those images made to stand in niches and + hold a light in their hands. But the illusion was momentary, and my eyes + speedily recovered from the shock of the bright flame and snowy drapery to + see that the figure was a breathing one. It was Iris, in one of her + statue-trances. She had come down, whether sleeping or waking, I knew not + at first, led by an instinct that told her she was wanted,—or, + possibly, having overheard and interpreted the sound of our movements,—or, + it may be, having learned from the servant that there was trouble which + might ask for a woman's hand. I sometimes think women have a sixth sense, + which tells them that others, whom they cannot see or hear, are in + suffering. How surely we find them at the bedside of the dying! How + strongly does Nature plead for them, that we should draw our first breath + in their arms, as we sigh away our last upon their faithful breasts! + </p> + <p> + With white, bare feet, her hair loosely knotted, clad as the starlight + knew her, and the morning when she rose from slumber, save that she had + twisted a scarf round her long dress, she stood still as a stone before + me, holding in one hand a lighted coil of waxtaper, and in the other a + silver goblet. I held my own lamp close to her, as if she had been a + figure of marble, and she did not stir. There was no breach of propriety + then, to scare the Poor Relation with and breed scandal out of. She had + been “warned in a dream,” doubtless suggested by her waking knowledge and + the sounds which had reached her exalted sense. There was nothing more + natural than that she should have risen and girdled her waist, and lighted + her taper, and found the silver goblet with “Ex dono pupillorum” on it, + from which she had taken her milk and possets through all her childish + years, and so gone blindly out to find her place at the bedside,—a + Sister of Charity without the cap and rosary; nay, unknowing whither her + feet were leading her, and with wide blank eyes seeing nothing but the + vision that beckoned her along.—Well, I must wake her from her + slumber or trance.—I called her name, but she did not heed my voice. + </p> + <p> + The Devil put it into my head that I would kiss one handsome young girl + before I died, and now was my chance. She never would know it, and I + should carry the remembrance of it with me into the grave, and a rose + perhaps grow out of my dust, as a brier did out of Lord Lovers, in memory + of that immortal moment! Would it wake her from her trance? and would she + see me in the flush of my stolen triumph, and hate and despise me ever + after? Or should I carry off my trophy undetected, and always from that + time say to myself, when I looked upon her in the glory of youth and the + splendor of beauty, “My lips have touched those roses and made their + sweetness mine forever”? You think my cheek was flushed, perhaps, and my + eyes were glittering with this midnight flash of opportunity. On the + contrary, I believe I was pale, very pale, and I know that I trembled. Ah, + it is the pale passions that are the fiercest,—it is the violence of + the chill that gives the measure of the fever! The fighting-boy of our + school always turned white when he went out to a pitched battle with the + bully of some neighboring village; but we knew what his bloodless cheeks + meant,—the blood was all in his stout heart,—he was a slight + boy, and there was not enough to redden his face and fill his heart both + at once. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps it is making a good deal of a slight matter, to tell the internal + conflicts in the heart of a quiet person something more than juvenile and + something less than senile, as to whether he should be guilty of an + impropriety, and, if he were, whether he would get caught in his + indiscretion. And yet the memory of the kiss that Margaret of Scotland + gave to Alain Chartier has lasted four hundred years, and put it into the + head of many an ill-favored poet, whether Victoria, or Eugenie, would do + as much by him, if she happened to pass him when he was asleep. And have + we ever forgotten that the fresh cheek of the young John Milton tingled + under the lips of some high-born Italian beauty, who, I believe, did not + think to leave her card by the side of the slumbering youth, but has + bequeathed the memory of her pretty deed to all coming time? The sound of + a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a deal + longer. + </p> + <p> + There is one disadvantage which the man of philosophical habits of mind + suffers, as compared with the man of action. While he is taking an + enlarged and rational view of the matter before him, he lets his chance + slip through his fingers. Iris woke up, of her own accord, before I had + made up my mind what I was going to do about it. + </p> + <p> + When I remember how charmingly she looked, I don't blame myself at all for + being tempted; but if I had been fool enough to yield to the impulse, I + should certainly have been ashamed to tell of it. She did not know what to + make of it, finding herself there alone, in such guise, and me staring at + her. She looked down at her white robe and bare feet, and colored,—then + at the goblet she held in her hand, then at the taper; and at last her + thoughts seemed to clear up. + </p> + <p> + I know it all,—she said.—He is going to die, and I must go and + sit by him. Nobody will care for him as I shall, and I have nobody else to + care for. + </p> + <p> + I assured her that nothing was needed for him that night but rest, and + persuaded her that the excitement of her presence could only do harm. Let + him sleep, and he would very probably awake better in the morning. There + was nothing to be said, for I spoke with authority; and the young girl + glided away with noiseless step and sought her own chamber. + </p> + <p> + The tremor passed away from my limbs, and the blood began to burn in my + cheeks. The beautiful image which had so bewitched me faded gradually from + my imagination, and I returned to the still perplexing mysteries of my + little neighbor's chamber. + </p> + <p> + All was still there now. No plaintive sounds, no monotonous murmurs, no + shutting of windows and doors at strange hours, as if something or + somebody were coming in or going out, or there was something to be hidden + in those dark mahogany presses. Is there an inner apartment that I have + not seen? The way in which the house is built might admit of it. As I + thought it over, I at once imagined a Bluebeard's chamber. Suppose, for + instance, that the narrow bookshelves to the right are really only a + masked door, such as we remember leading to the private study of one of + our most distinguished townsmen, who loved to steal away from his stately + library to that little silent cell. If this were lighted from above, a + person or persons might pass their days there without attracting attention + from the household, and wander where they pleased at night,—to + Copp's-Hill burial-ground, if they liked,—I said to myself, + laughing, and pulling the bed-clothes over my head. There is no logic in + superstitious-fancies any more than in dreams. A she-ghost wouldn't want + an inner chamber to herself. A live woman, with a valuable soprano voice, + wouldn't start off at night to sprain her ankles over the old graves of + the North-End cemetery. + </p> + <p> + It is all very easy for you, middle-aged reader, sitting over this page in + the broad daylight, to call me by all manner of asinine and anserine + unchristian names, because I had these fancies running through my head. I + don't care much for your abuse. The question is not, what it is reasonable + for a man to think about, but what he actually does think about, in the + dark, and when he is alone, and his whole body seems but one great nerve + of hearing, and he sees the phosphorescent flashes of his own eyeballs as + they turn suddenly in the direction of the last strange noise,—what + he actually does think about, as he lies and recalls all the wild stories + his head is full of, his fancy hinting the most alarming conjectures to + account for the simplest facts about him, his common-sense laughing them + to scorn the next minute, but his mind still returning to them, under one + shape or another, until he gets very nervous and foolish, and remembers + how pleasant it used to be to have his mother come and tuck him up and go + and sit within call, so that she could hear him at any minute, if he got + very much scared and wanted her. Old babies that we are! + </p> + <p> + Daylight will clear up all that lamp-light has left doubtful. I longed for + the morning to come, for I was more curious than ever. So, between my + fancies and anticipations, I had but a poor night of it, and came down + tired to the breakfast-table. My visit was not to be made until after this + morning hour; there was nothing urgent, so the servant was ordered to tell + me. + </p> + <p> + It was the first breakfast at which the high chair at the side of Iris had + been unoccupied.—You might jest as well take away that chair,—said + our landlady,—he'll never want it again. He acts like a man that 's + struck with death, 'n' I don't believe he 'll ever come out of his chamber + till he 's laid out and brought down a corpse.—These good women do + put things so plainly! There were two or three words in her short remark + that always sober people, and suggest silence or brief moral reflections. + </p> + <p> + —Life is dreadful uncerting,—said the Poor Relation,—and + pulled in her social tentacles to concentrate her thoughts on this fact of + human history. + </p> + <p> + —If there was anything a fellah could do,—said the young man + John, so called,—a fellah 'd like the chance o' helpin' a little + cripple like that. He looks as if he couldn't turn over any handier than a + turtle that's laid on his back; and I guess there a'n't many people that + know how to lift better than I do. Ask him if he don't want any watchers. + I don't mind settin' up any more 'n a cat-owl. I was up all night twice + last month. + </p> + <p> + [My private opinion is, that there was no small amount of punch absorbed + on those two occasions, which I think I heard of at the time];—but + the offer is a kind one, and it is n't fair to question how he would like + sitting up without the punch and the company and the songs and smoking. He + means what he says, and it would be a more considerable achievement for + him to sit quietly all night by a sick man than for a good many other + people. I tell you this odd thing: there are a good many persons, who, + through the habit of making other folks uncomfortable, by finding fault + with all their cheerful enjoyments, at last get up a kind of hostility to + comfort in general, even in their own persons. The correlative to loving + our neighbors as ourselves is hating ourselves as we hate our neighbors. + Look at old misers; first they starve their dependants, and then + themselves. So I think it more for a lively young fellow to be ready to + play nurse than for one of those useful but forlorn martyrs who have taken + a spite against themselves and love to gratify it by fasting and watching. + </p> + <p> + —The time came at last for me to make my visit. I found Iris sitting + by the Little Gentleman's pillow. To my disappointment, the room was + darkened. He did not like the light, and would have the shutters kept + nearly closed. It was good enough for me; what business had I to be + indulging my curiosity, when I had nothing to do but to exercise such + skill as I possessed for the benefit of my patient? There was not much to + be said or done in such a case; but I spoke as encouragingly as I could, + as I think we are always bound to do. He did not seem to pay any very + anxious attention, but the poor girl listened as if her own life and more + than her own life were depending on the words I uttered. She followed me + out of the room, when I had got through my visit. + </p> + <p> + How long?—she said. + </p> + <p> + Uncertain. Any time; to-day,—next week, next month,—I + answered.—One of those cases where the issue is not doubtful, but + may be sudden or slow. + </p> + <p> + The women of the house were kind, as women always are in trouble. But Iris + pretended that nobody could spare the time as well as she, and kept her + place, hour after hour, until the landlady insisted that she'd be killin' + herself, if she begun at that rate, 'n' haf to give up, if she didn't want + to be clean beat out in less 'n a week. + </p> + <p> + At the table we were graver than common. The high chair was set back + against the wall, and a gap left between that of the young girl and her + nearest neighbor's on the right. But the next morning, to our great + surprise, that good-looking young Marylander had very quietly moved his + own chair to the vacant place. I thought he was creeping down that way, + but I was not prepared for a leap spanning such a tremendous parenthesis + of boarders as this change of position included. There was no denying that + the youth and maiden were a handsome pair, as they sat side by side. But + whatever the young girl may have thought of her new neighbor she never + seemed for a moment to forget the poor little friend who had been taken + from her side. There are women, and even girls, with whom it is of no use + to talk. One might as well reason with a bee as to the form of his cell, + or with an oriole as to the construction of his swinging nest, as try to + stir these creatures from their own way of doing their own work. It was + not a question with Iris, whether she was entitled by any special relation + or by the fitness of things to play the part of a nurse. She was a wilful + creature that must have her way in this matter. And it so proved that it + called for much patience and long endurance to carry through the duties, + say rather the kind offices, the painful pleasures, which she had chosen + as her share in the household where accident had thrown her. She had that + genius of ministration which is the special province of certain women, + marked even among their helpful sisters by a soft, low voice, a quiet + footfall, a light hand, a cheering smile, and a ready self-surrender to + the objects of their care, which such trifles as their own food, sleep, or + habits of any kind never presume to interfere with. Day after day, and too + often through the long watches of the night, she kept her place by the + pillow. + </p> + <p> + That girl will kill herself over me, Sir,—said the poor Little + Gentleman to me, one day,—she will kill herself, Sir, if you don't + call in all the resources of your art to get me off as soon as may be. I + shall wear her out, Sir, with sitting in this close chamber and watching + when she ought to be sleeping, if you leave me to the care of Nature + without dosing me. + </p> + <p> + This was rather strange pleasantry, under the circumstances. But there are + certain persons whose existence is so out of parallel with the larger laws + in the midst of which it is moving, that life becomes to them as death and + death as life.—How am I getting along?—he said, another + morning. He lifted his shrivelled hand, with the death's-head ring on it, + and looked at it with a sad sort of complacency. By this one movement, + which I have seen repeatedly of late, I know that his thoughts have gone + before to another condition, and that he is, as it were, looking back on + the infirmities of the body as accidents of the past. For, when he was + well, one might see him often looking at the handsome hand with the + flaming jewel on one of its fingers. The single well-shaped limb was the + source of that pleasure which in some form or other Nature almost always + grants to her least richly endowed children. Handsome hair, eyes, + complexion, feature, form, hand, foot, pleasant voice, strength, grace, + agility, intelligence,—how few there are that have not just enough + of one at least of these gifts to show them that the good Mother, busy + with her millions of children, has not quite forgotten them! But now he + was thinking of that other state, where, free from all mortal impediments, + the memory of his sorrowful burden should be only as that of the case he + has shed to the insect whose “deep-damasked wings” beat off the golden + dust of the lily-anthers, as he flutters in the ecstasy of his new life + over their full-blown summer glories. + </p> + <p> + No human being can rest for any time in a state of equilibrium, where the + desire to live and that to depart just balance each other. If one has a + house, which he has lived and always means to live in, he pleases himself + with the thought of all the conveniences it offers him, and thinks little + of its wants and imperfections. But once having made up his mind to move + to a better, every incommodity starts out upon him, until the very + ground-plan of it seems to have changed in his mind, and his thoughts and + affections, each one of them packing up its little bundle of + circumstances, have quitted their several chambers and nooks and migrated + to the new home, long before its apartments are ready to receive their + coming tenant. It is so with the body. Most persons have died before they + expire,—died to all earthly longings, so that the last breath is + only, as it were, the locking of the door of the already deserted mansion. + The fact of the tranquillity with which the great majority of dying + persons await this locking of those gates of life through which its airy + angels have been going and coming, from the moment of the first cry, is + familiar to those who have been often called upon to witness the last + period of life. Almost always there is a preparation made by Nature for + unearthing a soul, just as on the smaller scale there is for the removal + of a milktooth. The roots which hold human life to earth are absorbed + before it is lifted from its place. Some of the dying are weary and want + rest, the idea of which is almost inseparable in the universal mind from + death. Some are in pain, and want to be rid of it, even though the anodyne + be dropped, as in the legend, from the sword of the Death-Angel. Some are + stupid, mercifully narcotized that they may go to sleep without long + tossing about. And some are strong in faith and hope, so that, as they + draw near the next world, they would fair hurry toward it, as the caravan + moves faster over the sands when the foremost travellers send word along + the file that water is in sight. Though each little party that follows in + a foot-track of its own will have it that the water to which others think + they are hastening is a mirage, not the less has it been true in all ages + and for human beings of every creed which recognized a future, that those + who have fallen worn out by their march through the Desert have dreamed at + least of a River of Life, and thought they heard its murmurs as they lay + dying. + </p> + <p> + The change from the clinging to the present to the welcoming of the future + comes very soon, for the most part, after all hope of life is + extinguished, provided this be left in good degree to Nature, and not + insolently and cruelly forced upon those who are attacked by illness, on + the strength of that odious foreknowledge often imparted by science, + before the white fruit whose core is ashes, and which we call death, has + set beneath the pallid and drooping flower of sickness. There is a + singular sagacity very often shown in a patient's estimate of his own + vital force. His physician knows the state of his material frame well + enough, perhaps,—that this or that organ is more or less impaired or + disintegrated; but the patient has a sense that he can hold out so much + longer,—sometimes that he must and will live for a while, though by + the logic of disease he ought to die without any delay. + </p> + <p> + The Little Gentleman continued to fail, until it became plain that his + remaining days were few. I told the household what to expect. There was a + good deal of kind feeling expressed among the boarders, in various modes, + according to their characters and style of sympathy. The landlady was + urgent that he should try a certain nostrum which had saved somebody's + life in jest sech a case. The Poor Relation wanted me to carry, as from + her, a copy of “Allein's Alarm,” etc. I objected to the title, reminding + her that it offended people of old, so that more than twice as many of the + book were sold when they changed the name to “A Sure Guide to Heaven.” The + good old gentleman whom I have mentioned before has come to the time of + life when many old men cry easily, and forget their tears as children do.—He + was a worthy gentleman,—he said,—a very worthy gentleman, but + unfortunate,—very unfortunate. Sadly deformed about the spine and + the feet. Had an impression that the late Lord Byron had some malformation + of this kind. Had heerd there was something the matter with the + ankle-j'ints of that nobleman, but he was a man of talents. This gentleman + seemed to be a man of talents. Could not always agree with his statements,—thought + he was a little over-partial to this city, and had some free opinions; but + was sorry to lose him,—and if—there was anything—he—could—. + In the midst of these kind expressions, the gentleman with the diamond, + the Koh-i-noor, as we called him, asked, in a very unpleasant sort of way, + how the old boy was likely to cut up,—meaning what money our friend + was going to leave behind. + </p> + <p> + The young fellow John spoke up, to the effect that this was a diabolish + snobby question, when a man was dying and not dead.—To this the + Koh-i-noor replied, by asking if the other meant to insult him. Whereto + the young man John rejoined that he had no particul'r intentions one way + or t'other.-The Kohi-noor then suggested the young man's stepping out into + the yard, that he, the speaker, might “slap his chops.”—Let 'em + alone, said young Maryland,—it 'll soon be over, and they won't hurt + each other much.—So they went out. + </p> + <p> + The Koh-i-noor entertained the very common idea, that, when one quarrels + with another, the simple thing to do is to knock the man down, and there + is the end of it. Now those who have watched such encounters are aware of + two things: first, that it is not so easy to knock a man down as it is to + talk about it; secondly, that, if you do happen to knock a man down, there + is a very good chance that he will be angry, and get up and give you a + thrashing. + </p> + <p> + So the Koh-i-noor thought he would begin, as soon as they got into the + yard, by knocking his man down, and with this intention swung his arm + round after the fashion of rustics and those unskilled in the noble art, + expecting the young fellow John to drop when his fist, having completed a + quarter of a circle, should come in contact with the side of that young + man's head. Unfortunately for this theory, it happens that a blow struck + out straight is as much shorter, and therefore as much quicker than the + rustic's swinging blow, as the radius is shorter than the quarter of a + circle. The mathematical and mechanical corollary was, that the Koh-i-noor + felt something hard bring up suddenly against his right eye, which + something he could have sworn was a paving-stone, judging by his + sensations; and as this threw his person somewhat backwards, and the young + man John jerked his own head back a little, the swinging blow had nothing + to stop it; and as the Jewel staggered between the hit he got and the blow + he missed, he tripped and “went to grass,” so far as the back-yard of our + boardinghouse was provided with that vegetable. It was a signal + illustration of that fatal mistake, so frequent in young and ardent + natures with inconspicuous calves and negative pectorals, that they can + settle most little quarrels on the spot by “knocking the man down.” + </p> + <p> + We are in the habit of handling our faces so carefully, that a heavy blow, + taking effect on that portion of the surface, produces a most unpleasant + surprise, which is accompanied with odd sensations, as of seeing sparks, + and a kind of electrical or ozone-like odor, half-sulphurous in character, + and which has given rise to a very vulgar and profane threat sometimes + heard from the lips of bullies. A person not used to pugilistic gestures + does not instantly recover from this surprise. The Koh-i-noor exasperated + by his failure, and still a little confused by the smart hit he had + received, but furious, and confident of victory over a young fellow a good + deal lighter than himself, made a desperate rush to bear down all before + him and finish the contest at once. That is the way all angry greenhorns + and incompetent persons attempt to settle matters. It does n't do, if the + other fellow is only cool, moderately quick, and has a very little + science. It didn't do this time; for, as the assailant rushed in with his + arms flying everywhere, like the vans of a windmill, he ran a prominent + feature of his face against a fist which was travelling in the other + direction, and immediately after struck the knuckles of the young man's + other fist a severe blow with the part of his person known as the + epigastrium to one branch of science and the bread-basket to another. This + second round closed the battle. The Koh-i-noor had got enough, which in + such cases is more than as good as a feast. The young fellow asked him if + he was satisfied, and held out his hand. But the other sulked, and + muttered something about revenge.—Jest as ye like,—said the + young man John.—Clap a slice o' raw beefsteak on to that mouse o' + yours 'n' 't'll take down the swellin'. (Mouse is a technical term for a + bluish, oblong, rounded elevation occasioned by running one's forehead or + eyebrow against another's knuckles.) The young fellow was particularly + pleased that he had had an opportunity of trying his proficiency in the + art of self-defence without the gloves. The Koh-i-noor did not favor us + with his company for a day or two, being confined to his chamber, it was + said, by a slight feverish, attack. He was chop-fallen always after this, + and got negligent in his person. The impression must have been a deep one; + for it was observed, that, when he came down again, his moustache and + whiskers had turned visibly white about the roots. In short, it disgraced + him, and rendered still more conspicuous a tendency to drinking, of which + he had been for some time suspected. This, and the disgust which a young + lady naturally feels at hearing that her lover has been “licked by a + fellah not half his size,” induced the landlady's daughter to take that + decided step which produced a change in the programme of her career I may + hereafter allude to. + </p> + <p> + I never thought he would come to good, when I heard him attempting to + sneer at an unoffending city so respectable as Boston. After a man begins + to attack the State-House, when he gets bitter about the Frog-Pond, you + may be sure there is not much left of him. Poor Edgar Poe died in the + hospital soon after he got into this way of talking; and so sure as you + find an unfortunate fellow reduced to this pass, you had better begin + praying for him, and stop lending him money, for he is on his last legs. + Remember poor Edgar! He is dead and gone; but the State-House has its + cupola fresh-gilded, and the Frog-Pond has got a fountain that squirts up + a hundred feet into the air and glorifies that humble sheet with a fine + display of provincial rainbows. + </p> + <p> + —I cannot fulfil my promise in this number. I expected to gratify + your curiosity, if you have become at all interested in these puzzles, + doubts, fancies, whims, or whatever you choose to call them, of mine. Next + month you shall hear all about it. + </p> + <p> + —It was evening, and I was going to the sick-chamber. As I paused at + the door before entering, I heard a sweet voice singing. It was not the + wild melody I had sometimes heard at midnight:—no, this was the + voice of Iris, and I could distinguish every word. I had seen the verses + in her book; the melody was new to me. Let me finish my page with them. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + HYMN OF TRUST. + + O Love Divine, that stooped to share + Our sharpest pang, our bitterest tear, + On Thee we cast each earthborn care, + We smile at pain while Thou art near! + + Though long the weary way we tread, + And sorrow crown each lingering year, + No path we shun, no darkness dread, + Our hearts still whispering, Thou art near! + + When drooping pleasure turns to grief, + And trembling faith is changed to fear, + The murmuring wind, the quivering leaf + Shall softly tell us, Thou art near! + + On Thee we fling our burdening woe, + O Love Divine, forever dear, + Content to suffer, while we know, + Living and dying, Thou art near! +</pre> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0014" id="link2H_4_0014"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + XII + </h2> + <p> + A young fellow, born of good stock, in one of the more thoroughly + civilized portions of these United States of America, bred in good + principles, inheriting a social position which makes him at his ease + everywhere, means sufficient to educate him thoroughly without taking away + the stimulus to vigorous exertion, and with a good opening in some + honorable path of labor, is the finest sight our private satellite has had + the opportunity of inspecting on the planet to which she belongs. In some + respects it was better to be a young Greek. If we may trust the old + marbles, my friend with his arm stretched over my head, above there, (in + plaster of Paris,) or the discobolus, whom one may see at the principal + sculpture gallery of this metropolis,—those Greek young men were of + supreme beauty. Their close curls, their elegantly set heads, column-like + necks, straight noses, short, curled lips, firm chins, deep chests, light + flanks, large muscles, small joints, were finer than anything we ever see. + It may well be questioned whether the human shape will ever present itself + again in a race of such perfect symmetry. But the life of the youthful + Greek was local, not planetary, like that of the young American. He had a + string of legends, in place of our Gospels. He had no printed books, no + newspaper, no steam caravans, no forks, no soap, none of the thousand + cheap conveniences which have become matters of necessity to our modern + civilization. Above all things, if he aspired to know as well as to enjoy, + he found knowledge not diffused everywhere about him, so that a day's + labor would buy him more wisdom than a year could master, but held in + private hands, hoarded in precious manuscripts, to be sought for only as + gold is sought in narrow fissures, and in the beds of brawling streams. + Never, since man came into this atmosphere of oxygen and azote, was there + anything like the condition of the young American of the nineteenth + century. Having in possession or in prospect the best part of half a + world, with all its climates and soils to choose from; equipped with wings + of fire and smoke than fly with him day and night, so that he counts his + journey not in miles, but in degrees, and sees the seasons change as the + wild fowl sees them in his annual flights; with huge leviathans always + ready to take him on their broad backs and push behind them with their + pectoral or caudal fins the waters that seam the continent or separate the + hemispheres; heir of all old civilizations, founder of that new one which, + if all the prophecies of the human heart are not lies, is to be the + noblest, as it is the last; isolated in space from the races that are + governed by dynasties whose divine right grows out of human wrong, yet + knit into the most absolute solidarity with mankind of all times and + places by the one great thought he inherits as his national birthright; + free to form and express his opinions on almost every subject, and assured + that he will soon acquire the last franchise which men withhold from man,—that + of stating the laws of his spiritual being and the beliefs he accepts + without hindrance except from clearer views of truth,—he seems to + want nothing for a large, wholesome, noble, beneficent life. In fact, the + chief danger is that he will think the whole planet is made for him, and + forget that there are some possibilities left in the debris of the + old-world civilization which deserve a certain respectful consideration at + his hands. + </p> + <p> + The combing and clipping of this shaggy wild continent are in some measure + done for him by those who have gone before. Society has subdivided itself + enough to have a place for every form of talent. Thus, if a man show the + least sign of ability as a sculptor or a painter, for instance, he finds + the means of education and a demand for his services. Even a man who knows + nothing but science will be provided for, if he does not think it + necessary to hang about his birthplace all his days,—which is a most + unAmerican weakness. The apron-strings of an American mother are made of + India-rubber. Her boy belongs where he is wanted; and that young + Marylander of ours spoke for all our young men, when he said that his home + was wherever the stars and stripes blew over his head. + </p> + <p> + And that leads me to say a few words of this young gentleman, who made + that audacious movement lately which I chronicled in my last record,—jumping + over the seats of I don't know how many boarders to put himself in the + place which the Little Gentleman's absence had left vacant at the side of + Iris. When a young man is found habitually at the side of any one given + young lady,—when he lingers where she stays, and hastens when she + leaves,—when his eyes follow her as she moves and rest upon her when + she is still,—when he begins to grow a little timid, he who was so + bold, and a little pensive, he who was so gay, whenever accident finds + them alone,—when he thinks very often of the given young lady, and + names her very seldom,— + </p> + <p> + What do you say about it, my charming young expert in that sweet science + in which, perhaps, a long experience is not the first of qualifications? + </p> + <p> + —But we don't know anything about this young man, except that he is + good-looking, and somewhat high-spirited, and strong-limbed, and has a + generous style of nature,—all very promising, but by no means + proving that he is a proper lover for Iris, whose heart we turned inside + out when we opened that sealed book of hers. + </p> + <p> + Ah, my dear young friend! When your mamma then, if you will believe it, a + very slight young lady, with very pretty hair and figure—came and + told her mamma that your papa had—had—asked No, no, no! she + could n't say it; but her mother—oh the depth of maternal sagacity!—guessed + it all without another word!—When your mother, I say, came and told + her mother she was engaged, and your grandmother told your grandfather, + how much did they know of the intimate nature of the young gentleman to + whom she had pledged her existence? I will not be so hard as to ask how + much your respected mamma knew at that time of the intimate nature of your + respected papa, though, if we should compare a young girl's + man-as-she-thinks-him with a forty-summered matron's man-as-she-finds-him, + I have my doubts as to whether the second would be a facsimile of the + first in most cases. + </p> + <p> + The idea that in this world each young person is to wait until he or she + finds that precise counterpart who alone of all creation was meant for him + or her, and then fall instantly in love with it, is pretty enough, only it + is not Nature's way. It is not at all essential that all pairs of human + beings should be, as we sometimes say of particular couples, “born for + each other.” Sometimes a man or a woman is made a great deal better and + happier in the end for having had to conquer the faults of the one + beloved, and make the fitness not found at first, by gradual assimilation. + There is a class of good women who have no right to marry perfectly good + men, because they have the power of saving those who would go to ruin but + for the guiding providence of a good wife. I have known many such cases. + It is the most momentous question a woman is ever called upon to decide, + whether the faults of the man she loves are beyond remedy and will drag + her down, or whether she is competent to be his earthly redeemer and lift + him to her own level. + </p> + <p> + A person of genius should marry a person of character. Genius does not + herd with genius. The musk-deer and the civet-cat are never found in + company. They don't care for strange scents,—they like plain animals + better than perfumed ones. Nay, if you will have the kindness to notice, + Nature has not gifted my lady musk-deer with the personal peculiarity by + which her lord is so widely known. + </p> + <p> + Now when genius allies itself with character, the world is very apt to + think character has the best of the bargain. A brilliant woman marries a + plain, manly fellow, with a simple intellectual mechanism;—we have + all seen such cases. The world often stares a good deal and wonders. She + should have taken that other, with a far more complex mental machinery. + She might have had a watch with the philosophical compensation-balance, + with the metaphysical index which can split a second into tenths, with the + musical chime which can turn every quarter of an hour into melody. She has + chosen a plain one, that keeps good time, and that is all. + </p> + <p> + Let her alone! She knows what she is about. Genius has an infinitely + deeper reverence for character than character can have for genius. To be + sure, genius gets the world's praise, because its work is a tangible + product, to be bought, or had for nothing. It bribes the common voice to + praise it by presents of speeches, poems, statues, pictures, or whatever + it can please with. Character evolves its best products for home + consumption; but, mind you, it takes a deal more to feed a family for + thirty years than to make a holiday feast for our neighbors once or twice + in our lives. You talk of the fire of genius. Many a blessed woman, who + dies unsung and unremembered, has given out more of the real vital heat + that keeps the life in human souls, without a spark flitting through her + humble chimney to tell the world about it, than would set a dozen theories + smoking, or a hundred odes simmering, in the brains of so many men of + genius. It is in latent caloric, if I may borrow a philosophical + expression, that many of the noblest hearts give out the life that warms + them. Cornelia's lips grow white, and her pulse hardly warms her thin + fingers,—but she has melted all the ice out of the hearts of those + young Gracchi, and her lost heat is in the blood of her youthful heroes. + We are always valuing the soul's temperature by the thermometer of public + deed or word. Yet the great sun himself, when he pours his noonday beams + upon some vast hyaline boulder, rent from the eternal ice-quarries, and + floating toward the tropics, never warms it a fraction above the + thirty-two degrees of Fahrenheit that marked the moment when the first + drop trickled down its side. + </p> + <p> + How we all like the spirting up of a fountain, seemingly against the law + that makes water everywhere slide, roll, leap, tumble headlong, to get as + low as the earth will let it! That is genius. But what is this transient + upward movement, which gives us the glitter and the rainbow, to that + unsleeping, all-present force of gravity, the same yesterday, to-day, and + forever, (if the universe be eternal,)—the great outspread hand of + God himself, forcing all things down into their places, and keeping them + there? Such, in smaller proportion, is the force of character to the + fitful movements of genius, as they are or have been linked to each other + in many a household, where one name was historic, and the other, let me + say the nobler, unknown, save by some faint reflected ray, borrowed from + its lustrous companion. + </p> + <p> + Oftentimes, as I have lain swinging on the water, in the swell of the + Chelsea ferry-boats, in that long, sharp-pointed, black cradle in which I + love to let the great mother rock me, I have seen a tall ship glide by + against the tide, as if drawn by some invisible towline, with a hundred + strong arms pulling it. Her sails hung unfilled, her streamers were + drooping, she had neither side-wheel nor stern-wheel; still she moved on, + stately, in serene triumph, as if with her own life. But I knew that on + the other side of the ship, hidden beneath the great hulk that swam so + majestically, there was a little toiling steam-tug, with heart of fire and + arms of iron, that was hugging it close and dragging it bravely on; and I + knew, that, if the little steam-tug untwined her arms and left the tall + ship, it would wallow and roll about, and drift hither and thither, and go + off with the refluent tide, no man knows whither. And so I have known more + than one genius, high-decked, full-freighted, wide-sailed, gay-pennoned, + that, but for the bare toiling arms, and brave, warm, beating heart of the + faithful little wife, that nestled close in his shadow, and clung to him, + so that no wind or wave could part them, and dragged him on against all + the tide of circumstance, would soon have gone down the stream and been + heard of no more.—No, I am too much a lover of genius, I sometimes + think, and too often get impatient with dull people, so that, in their + weak talk, where nothing is taken for granted, I look forward to some + future possible state of development, when a gesture passing between a + beatified human soul and an archangel shall signify as much as the + complete history of a planet, from the time when it curdled to the time + when its sun was burned out. And yet, when a strong brain is weighed with + a true heart, it seems to me like balancing a bubble against a wedge of + gold. + </p> + <p> + —It takes a very true man to be a fitting companion for a woman of + genius, but not a very great one. I am not sure that she will not + embroider her ideal better on a plain ground than on one with a brilliant + pattern already worked in its texture. But as the very essence of genius + is truthfulness, contact with realities, (which are always ideas behind + shows of form or language,) nothing is so contemptible as falsehood and + pretence in its eyes. Now it is not easy to find a perfectly true woman, + and it is very hard to find a perfectly true man. And a woman of genius, + who has the sagacity to choose such a one as her companion, shows more of + the divine gift in so doing than in her finest talk or her most brilliant + work of letters or of art. + </p> + <p> + I have been a good while coming at a secret, for which I wished to prepare + you before telling it. I think there is a kindly feeling growing up + between Iris and our young Marylander. Not that I suppose there is any + distinct understanding between them, but that the affinity which has drawn + him from the remote corner where he sat to the side of the young girl is + quietly bringing their two natures together. Just now she is all given up + to another; but when he no longer calls upon her daily thoughts and cares, + I warn you not to be surprised, if this bud of friendship open like the + evening primrose, with a sound as of a sudden stolen kiss, and lo! the + flower of full-blown love lies unfolded before you. + </p> + <p> + And now the days had come for our little friend, whose whims and + weaknesses had interested us, perhaps, as much as his better traits, to + make ready for that long journey which is easier to the cripple than to + the strong man, and on which none enters so willingly as he who has borne + the life-long load of infirmity during his earthly pilgrimage. At this + point, under most circumstances, I would close the doors and draw the veil + of privacy before the chamber where the birth which we call death, out of + life into the unknown world, is working its mystery. But this friend of + ours stood alone in the world, and, as the last act of his life was mainly + in harmony with the rest of its drama, I do not here feel the force of the + objection commonly lying against that death-bed literature which forms the + staple of a certain portion of the press. Let me explain what I mean, so + that my readers may think for themselves a little, before they accuse me + of hasty expressions. + </p> + <p> + The Roman Catholic Church has certain formulas for its dying children, to + which almost all of them attach the greatest importance. There is hardly a + criminal so abandoned that he is not anxious to receive the “consolations + of religion” in his last hours. Even if he be senseless, but still living, + I think that the form is gone through with, just as baptism is + administered to the unconscious new-born child. Now we do not quarrel with + these forms. We look with reverence and affection upon all symbols which + give peace and comfort to our fellow-creatures. But the value of the + new-born child's passive consent to the ceremony is null, as testimony to + the truth of a doctrine. The automatic closing of a dying man's lips on + the consecrated wafer proves nothing in favor of the Real Presence, or any + other dogma. And, speaking generally, the evidence of dying men in favor + of any belief is to be received with great caution. + </p> + <p> + They commonly tell the truth about their present feelings, no doubt. A + dying man's deposition about anything he knows is good evidence. But it is + of much less consequence what a man thinks and says when he is changed by + pain, weakness, apprehension, than what he thinks when he is truly and + wholly himself. Most murderers die in a very pious frame of mind, + expecting to go to glory at once; yet no man believes he shall meet a + larger average of pirates and cut-throats in the streets of the New + Jerusalem than of honest folks that died in their beds. + </p> + <p> + Unfortunately, there has been a very great tendency to make capital of + various kinds out of dying men's speeches. The lies that have been put + into their mouths for this purpose are endless. The prime minister, whose + last breath was spent in scolding his nurse, dies with a magnificent + apothegm on his lips, manufactured by a reporter. Addison gets up a + tableau and utters an admirable sentiment,—or somebody makes the + posthumous dying epigram for him. The incoherent babble of green fields is + translated into the language of stately sentiment. One would think, all + that dying men had to do was to say the prettiest thing they could,—to + make their rhetorical point,—and then bow themselves politely out of + the world. + </p> + <p> + Worse than this is the torturing of dying people to get their evidence in + favor of this or that favorite belief. The camp-followers of proselyting + sects have come in at the close of every life where they could get in, to + strip the languishing soul of its thoughts, and carry them off as spoils. + The Roman Catholic or other priest who insists on the reception of his + formula means kindly, we trust, and very commonly succeeds in getting the + acquiescence of the subject of his spiritual surgery, but do not let us + take the testimony of people who are in the worst condition to form + opinions as evidence of the truth or falsehood of that which they accept. + A lame man's opinion of dancing is not good for much. A poor fellow who + can neither eat nor drink, who is sleepless and full of pains, whose flesh + has wasted from him, whose blood is like water, who is gasping for breath, + is not in a condition to judge fairly of human life, which in all its main + adjustments is intended for men in a normal, healthy condition. It is a + remark I have heard from the wise Patriarch of the Medical Profession + among us, that the moral condition of patients with disease above the + great breathing-muscle, the diaphragm, is much more hopeful than that of + patients with disease below it, in the digestive organs. Many an honest + ignorant man has given us pathology when he thought he was giving us + psychology. With this preliminary caution I shall proceed to the story of + the Little Gentleman's leaving us. + </p> + <p> + When the divinity-student found that our fellow-boarder was not likely to + remain long with us, he, being a young man of tender conscience and kindly + nature, was not a little exercised on his behalf. It was undeniable that + on several occasions the Little Gentleman had expressed himself with a + good deal of freedom on a class of subjects which, according to the + divinity-student, he had no right to form an opinion upon. He therefore + considered his future welfare in jeopardy. + </p> + <p> + The Muggletonian sect have a very odd way of dealing with people. If I, + the Professor, will only give in to the Muggletonian doctrine, there shall + be no question through all that persuasion that I am competent to judge of + that doctrine; nay, I shall be quoted as evidence of its truth, while I + live, and cited, after I am dead, as testimony in its behalf. But if I + utter any ever so slight Anti-Muggletonian sentiment, then I become + incompetent to form any opinion on the matter. This, you cannot fail to + observe, is exactly the way the pseudo-sciences go to work, as explained + in my Lecture on Phrenology. Now I hold that he whose testimony would be + accepted in behalf of the Muggletonian doctrine has a right to be heard + against it. Whoso offers me any article of belief for my signature implies + that I am competent to form an opinion upon it; and if my positive + testimony in its favor is of any value, then my negative testimony against + it is also of value. + </p> + <p> + I thought my young friend's attitude was a little too much like that of + the Muggletonians. I also remarked a singular timidity on his part lest + somebody should “unsettle” somebody's faith,—as if faith did not + require exercise as much as any other living thing, and were not all the + better for a shaking up now and then. I don't mean that it would be fair + to bother Bridget, the wild Irish girl, or Joice Heth, the centenarian, or + any other intellectual non-combatant; but all persons who proclaim a + belief which passes judgment on their neighbors must be ready to have it + “unsettled,” that is, questioned, at all times and by anybody,—just + as those who set up bars across a thoroughfare must expect to have them + taken down by every one who wants to pass, if he is strong enough. + </p> + <p> + Besides, to think of trying to water-proof the American mind against the + questions that Heaven rains down upon it shows a misapprehension of our + new conditions. If to question everything be unlawful and dangerous, we + had better undeclare our independence at once; for what the Declaration + means is the right to question everything, even the truth of its own + fundamental proposition. + </p> + <p> + The old-world order of things is an arrangement of locks and canals, where + everything depends on keeping the gates shut, and so holding the upper + waters at their level; but the system under which the young republican + American is born trusts the whole unimpeded tide of life to the great + elemental influences, as the vast rivers of the continent settle their own + level in obedience to the laws that govern the planet and the spheres that + surround it. + </p> + <p> + The divinity-student was not quite up to the idea of the commonwealth, as + our young friend the Marylander, for instance, understood it. He could not + get rid of that notion of private property in truth, with the right to + fence it in, and put up a sign-board, thus: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + ALL TRESPASSERS ARE WARNED OFF THESE + GROUNDS! +</pre> + <p> + He took the young Marylander to task for going to the Church of the + Galileans, where he had several times accompanied Iris of late. + </p> + <p> + I am a Churchman,—the young man said,—by education and habit. + I love my old Church for many reasons, but most of all because I think it + has educated me out of its own forms into the spirit of its highest + teachings. I think I belong to the “Broad Church,” if any of you can tell + what that means. + </p> + <p> + I had the rashness to attempt to answer the question myself.—Some + say the Broad Church means the collective mass of good people of all + denominations. Others say that such a definition is nonsense; that a + church is an organization, and the scattered good folks are no + organization at all. They think that men will eventually come together on + the basis of one or two or more common articles of belief, and form a + great unity. Do they see what this amounts to? It means an equal division + of intellect! It is mental agrarianism! a thing that never was and never + will be until national and individual idiosyncrasies have ceased to exist. + The man of thirty-nine beliefs holds the man of one belief a pauper; he is + not going to give up thirty-eight of them for the sake of fraternizing + with the other in the temple which bears on its front, “Deo erexit + Voltaire.” A church is a garden, I have heard it said, and the + illustration was neatly handled. Yes, and there is no such thing as a + broad garden. It must be fenced in, and whatever is fenced in is narrow. + You cannot have arctic and tropical plants growing together in it, except + by the forcing system, which is a mighty narrow piece of business. You + can't make a village or a parish or a family think alike, yet you suppose + that you can make a world pinch its beliefs or pad them to a single + pattern! Why, the very life of an ecclesiastical organization is a life of + induction, a state of perpetually disturbed equilibrium kept up by another + charged body in the neighborhood. If the two bodies touch and share their + respective charges, down goes the index of the electrometer! + </p> + <p> + Do you know that every man has a religious belief peculiar to himself? + Smith is always a Smithite. He takes in exactly Smith's-worth of + knowledge, Smith's-worth of truth, of beauty, of divinity. And Brown has + from time immemorial been trying to burn him, to excommunicate him, to + anonymous-article him, because he did not take in Brown's-worth of + knowledge, truth, beauty, divinity. He cannot do it, any more than a + pint-pot can hold a quart, or a quart-pot be filled by a pint. Iron is + essentially the same everywhere and always; but the sulphate of iron is + never the same as the carbonate of iron. Truth is invariable; but the + Smithate of truth must always differ from the Brownate of truth. + </p> + <p> + The wider the intellect, the larger and simpler the expressions in which + its knowledge is embodied. The inferior race, the degraded and enslaved + people, the small-minded individual, live in the details which to larger + minds and more advanced tribes of men reduce themselves to axioms and + laws. As races and individual minds must always differ just as sulphates + and carbonates do, I cannot see ground for expecting the Broad Church to + be founded on any fusion of intellectual beliefs, which of course implies + that those who hold the larger number of doctrines as essential shall come + down to those who hold the smaller number. These doctrines are to the + negative aristocracy what the quarterings of their coats are to the + positive orders of nobility. + </p> + <p> + The Broad Church, I think, will never be based on anything that requires + the use of language. Freemasonry gives an idea of such a church, and a + brother is known and cared for in a strange land where no word of his can + be understood. The apostle of this church may be a deaf mute carrying a + cup of cold water to a thirsting fellow-creature. The cup of cold water + does not require to be translated for a foreigner to understand it. I am + afraid the only Broad Church possible is one that has its creed in the + heart, and not in the head,—that we shall know its members by their + fruits, and not by their words. If you say this communion of well-doers is + no church, I can only answer, that all organized bodies have their limits + of size, and that when we find a man a hundred feet high and thirty feet + broad across the shoulders, we will look out for an organization that + shall include all Christendom. + </p> + <p> + Some of us do practically recognize a Broad Church and a Narrow Church, + however. The Narrow Church may be seen in the ship's boats of humanity, in + the long boat, in the jolly boat, in the captain's gig, lying off the poor + old vessel, thanking God that they are safe, and reckoning how soon the + hulk containing the mass of their fellow-creatures will go down. The Broad + Church is on board, working hard at the pumps, and very slow to believe + that the ship will be swallowed up with so many poor people in it, + fastened down under the hatches ever since it floated. + </p> + <p> + —All this, of course, was nothing but my poor notion about these + matters. I am simply an “outsider,” you know; only it doesn't do very well + for a nest of Hingham boxes to talk too much about outsiders and insiders! + </p> + <p> + After this talk of ours, I think these two young people went pretty + regularly to the Church of the Galileans. Still they could not keep away + from the sweet harmonies and rhythmic litanies of Saint Polycarp on the + great Church festival-days; so that, between the two, they were so much + together, that the boarders began to make remarks, and our landlady said + to me, one day, that, though it was noon of her business, them that had + eyes couldn't help seein' that there was somethin' goin', on between them + two young people; she thought the young man was a very likely young man, + though jest what his prospecs was was unbeknown to her; but she thought he + must be doing well, and rather guessed he would be able to take care of a + femily, if he didn't go to takin' a house; for a gentleman and his wife + could board a great deal cheaper than they could keep house;—but + then that girl was nothin' but a child, and wouldn't think of bein' + married this five year. They was good boarders, both of 'em, paid regular, + and was as pooty a couple as she ever laid eyes on. + </p> + <p> + —To come back to what I began to speak of before,—the + divinity-student was exercised in his mind about the Little Gentleman, + and, in the kindness of his heart,—for he was a good young man,—and + in the strength of his convictions,—for he took it for granted that + he and his crowd were right, and other folks and their crowd were wrong,—he + determined to bring the Little Gentleman round to his faith before he + died, if he could. So he sent word to the sick man, that he should be + pleased to visit him and have some conversation with him; and received for + answer that he would be welcome. + </p> + <p> + The divinity-student made him a visit, therefore and had a somewhat + remarkable interview with him, which I shall briefly relate, without + attempting to justify the positions taken by the Little Gentleman. He + found him weak, but calm. Iris sat silent by his pillow. + </p> + <p> + After the usual preliminaries, the divinity-student said; in a kind way, + that he was sorry to find him in failing health, that he felt concerned + for his soul, and was anxious to assist him in making preparations for the + great change awaiting him. + </p> + <p> + I thank you, Sir,—said the Little Gentleman, permit me to ask you, + what makes you think I am not ready for it, Sir, and that you can do + anything to help me, Sir? + </p> + <p> + I address you only as a fellow-man,—said the divinity-student,—and + therefore a fellow-sinner. + </p> + <p> + I am not a man, Sir!—said the Little Gentleman.—I was born + into this world the wreck of a man, and I shall not be judged with a race + to which I do not belong. Look at this!—he said, and held up his + withered arm.—See there!—and he pointed to his misshapen + extremities.—Lay your hand here!—and he laid his own on the + region of his misplaced heart.—I have known nothing of the life of + your race. When I first came to my consciousness, I found myself an object + of pity, or a sight to show. The first strange child I ever remember hid + its face and would not come near me. I was a broken-hearted as well as + broken-bodied boy. I grew into the emotions of ripening youth, and all + that I could have loved shrank from my presence. I became a man in years, + and had nothing in common with manhood but its longings. My life is the + dying pang of a worn-out race, and I shall go down alone into the dust, + out of this world of men and women, without ever knowing the fellowship of + the one or the love of the other. I will not die with a lie rattling in my + throat. If another state of being has anything worse in store for me, I + have had a long apprenticeship to give me strength that I may bear it. I + don't believe it, Sir! I have too much faith for that. God has not left me + wholly without comfort, even here. I love this old place where I was born;—the + heart of the world beats under the three hills of Boston, Sir! I love this + great land, with so many tall men in it, and so many good, noble women.—His + eyes turned to the silent figure by his pillow.—I have learned to + accept meekly what has been allotted to me, but I cannot honestly say that + I think my sin has been greater than my suffering. I bear the ignorance + and the evil-doing of whole generations in my single person. I never drew + a breath of air nor took a step that was not a punishment for another's + fault. I may have had many wrong thoughts, but I cannot have done many + wrong deeds,—for my cage has been a narrow one, and I have paced it + alone. I have looked through the bars and seen the great world of men busy + and happy, but I had no part in their doings. I have known what it was to + dream of the great passions; but since my mother kissed me before she + died, no woman's lips have pressed my cheek,—nor ever will. + </p> + <p> + —The young girl's eyes glittered with a sudden film, and almost + without a thought, but with a warm human instinct that rushed up into her + face with her heart's blood, she bent over and kissed him. It was the + sacrament that washed out the memory of long years of bitterness, and I + should hold it an unworthy thought to defend her. The Little Gentleman + repaid her with the only tear any of us ever saw him shed. + </p> + <p> + The divinity-student rose from his place, and, turning away from the sick + man, walked to the other side of the room, where he bowed his head and was + still. All the questions he had meant to ask had faded from his memory. + The tests he had prepared by which to judge of his fellow-creature's + fitness for heaven seemed to have lost their virtue. He could trust the + crippled child of sorrow to the Infinite Parent. The kiss of the + fair-haired girl had been like a sign from heaven, that angels watched + over him whom he was presuming but a moment before to summon before the + tribunal of his private judgment. Shall I pray with you?—he said, + after a pause. A little before he would have said, Shall I pray for you?—The + Christian religion, as taught by its Founder, is full of sentiment. So we + must not blame the divinity-student, if he was overcome by those yearnings + of human sympathy which predominate so much more in the sermons of the + Master than in the writings of his successors, and which have made the + parable of the Prodigal Son the consolation of mankind, as it has been the + stumbling-block of all exclusive doctrines. + </p> + <p> + Pray!—said the Little Gentleman. + </p> + <p> + The divinity-student prayed, in low, tender tones, + </p> + <p> + Iris and the Little Gentleman that God would look on his servant lying + helpless at the feet of his mercy; that He would remember his long years + of bondage in the flesh; that He would deal gently with the bruised reed. + Thou hast visited the sins of the fathers upon this their child. Oh, turn + away from him the penalties of his own transgressions! Thou hast laid upon + him, from infancy, the cross which thy stronger children are called upon + to take up; and now that he is fainting under it, be Thou his stay, and do + Thou succor him that is tempted! Let his manifold infirmities come between + him and Thy judgment; in wrath remember mercy! If his eyes are not opened + to all Thy truth, let Thy compassion lighten the darkness that rests upon + him, even as it came through the word of thy Son to blind Bartimeus, who + sat by the wayside, begging! + </p> + <p> + Many more petitions he uttered, but all in the same subdued tone of + tenderness. In the presence of helpless suffering, and in the + fast-darkening shadow of the Destroyer, he forgot all but his Christian + humanity, and cared more about consoling his fellow-man than making a + proselyte of him. + </p> + <p> + This was the last prayer to which the Little Gentleman ever listened. Some + change was rapidly coming over him during this last hour of which I have + been speaking. The excitement of pleading his cause before his + self-elected spiritual adviser,—the emotion which overcame him, when + the young girl obeyed the sudden impulse of her feelings and pressed her + lips to his cheek,—the thoughts that mastered him while the + divinity-student poured out his soul for him in prayer, might well hurry + on the inevitable moment. When the divinity-student had uttered his last + petition, commending him to the Father through his Son's intercession, he + turned to look upon him before leaving his chamber. His face was changed.—There + is a language of the human countenance which we all understand without an + interpreter, though the lineaments belong to the rudest savage that ever + stammered in an unknown barbaric dialect. By the stillness of the + sharpened features, by the blankness of the tearless eyes, by the + fixedness of the smileless mouth, by the deadening tints, by the + contracted brow, by the dilating nostril, we know that the soul is soon to + leave its mortal tenement, and is already closing up its windows and + putting out its fires.—Such was the aspect of the face upon which + the divinity-student looked, after the brief silence which followed his + prayer. The change had been rapid, though not that abrupt one which is + liable to happen at any moment in these cases.—The sick man looked + towards him.—Farewell,—he said,—I thank you. Leave me + alone with her. + </p> + <p> + When the divinity-student had gone, and the Little Gentleman found himself + alone with Iris, he lifted his hand to his neck, and took from it, + suspended by a slender chain, a quaint, antique-looking key,—the + same key I had once seen him holding. He gave this to her, and pointed to + a carved cabinet opposite his bed, one of those that had so attracted my + curious eyes and set me wondering as to what it might contain. + </p> + <p> + Open it,—he said,—and light the lamp.—The young girl + walked to the cabinet and unlocked the door. A deep recess appeared, lined + with black velvet, against which stood in white relief an ivory crucifix. + A silver lamp hung over it. She lighted the lamp and came back to the + bedside. The dying man fixed his eyes upon the figure of the dying + Saviour.—Give me your hand, he said; and Iris placed her right hand + in his left. So they remained, until presently his eyes lost their + meaning, though they still remained vacantly fixed upon the white image. + Yet he held the young girl's hand firmly, as if it were leading him + through some deep-shadowed valley and it was all he could cling to. But + presently an involuntary muscular contraction stole over him, and his + terrible dying grasp held the poor girl as if she were wedged in an engine + of torture. She pressed her lips together and sat still. The inexorable + hand held her tighter and tighter, until she felt as if her own slender + fingers would be crushed in its gripe. It was one of the tortures of the + Inquisition she was suffering, and she could not stir from her place. + Then, in her great anguish, she, too, cast her eyes upon that dying + figure, and, looking upon its pierced hands and feet and side and + lacerated forehead, she felt that she also must suffer uncomplaining. In + the moment of her sharpest pain she did not forget the duties of her under + office, but dried the dying man's moist forehead with her handkerchief, + even while the dews of agony were glistening on her own. How long this + lasted she never could tell. Time and thirst are two things you and I talk + about; but the victims whom holy men and righteous judges used to stretch + on their engines knew better what they meant than you or I!—What is + that great bucket of water for? said the Marchioness de Brinvilliers, + before she was placed on the rack.—For you to drink,—said the + torturer to the little woman.—She could not think that it would take + such a flood to quench the fire in her and so keep her alive for her + confession. The torturer knew better than she. + </p> + <p> + After a time not to be counted in minutes, as the clock measures, —without + any warning,—there came a swift change of his features; his face + turned white, as the waters whiten when a sudden breath passes over their + still surface; the muscles instantly relaxed, and Iris, released at once + from her care for the sufferer and from his unconscious grasp, fell + senseless, with a feeble cry,—the only utterance of her long agony. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps you sometimes wander in through the iron gates of the Copp's Hill + burial-ground. You love to stroll round among the graves that crowd each + other in the thickly peopled soil of that breezy summit. You love to lean + on the freestone slab which lies over the bones of the Mathers,—to + read the epitaph of stout William Clark, “Despiser of Sorry Persons and + little Actions,”—to stand by the stone grave of sturdy Daniel + Malcolm and look upon the splintered slab that tells the old rebel's + story,—to kneel by the triple stone that says how the three + Worthylakes, father, mother, and young daughter, died on the same day and + lie buried there; a mystery; the subject of a moving ballad, by the late + BENJAMIN FRANKLIN, as may be seen in his autobiography, which will explain + the secret of the triple gravestone; though the old philosopher has made a + mistake, unless the stone is wrong. + </p> + <p> + Not very far from that you will find a fair mound, of dimensions fit to + hold a well-grown man. I will not tell you the inscription upon the stone + which stands at its head; for I do not wish you to be sure of the + resting-place of one who could not bear to think that he should be known + as a cripple among the dead, after being pointed at so long among the + living. There is one sign, it is true, by which, if you have been a + sagacious reader of these papers, you will at once know it; but I fear you + read carelessly, and must study them more diligently before you will + detect the hint to which I allude. + </p> + <p> + The Little Gentleman lies where he longed to lie, among the old names and + the old bones of the old Boston people. At the foot of his resting-place + is the river, alive with the wings and antennae of its colossal + water-insects; over opposite are the great war-ships, and the heavy guns, + which, when they roar, shake the soil in which he lies; and in the steeple + of Christ Church, hard by, are the sweet chimes which are the Boston boy's + Ranz des Vaches, whose echoes follow him all the world over. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + In Pace! +</pre> + <p> + I, told you a good while ago that the Little Gentleman could not do a + better thing than to leave all his money, whatever it might be, to the + young girl who has since that established such a claim upon him. He did + not, however. A considerable bequest to one of our public institutions + keeps his name in grateful remembrance. The telescope through which he was + fond of watching the heavenly bodies, and the movements of which had been + the source of such odd fancies on my part, is now the property of a + Western College. You smile as you think of my taking it for a fleshless + human figure, when I saw its tube pointing to the sky, and thought it was + an arm, under the white drapery thrown over it for protection. So do I + smile now; I belong to the numerous class who are prophets after the fact, + and hold my nightmares very cheap by daylight. + </p> + <p> + I have received many letters of inquiry as to the sound resembling a + woman's voice, which occasioned me so many perplexities. Some thought + there was no question that he had a second apartment, in which he had made + an asylum for a deranged female relative. Others were of opinion that he + was, as I once suggested, a “Bluebeard” with patriarchal tendencies, and I + have even been censured for introducing so Oriental an element into my + record of boarding-house experience. + </p> + <p> + Come in and see me, the Professor, some evening when I have nothing else + to do, and ask me to play you Tartini's Devil's Sonata on that + extraordinary instrument in my possession, well known to amateurs as one + of the masterpieces of Joseph Guarnerius. The vox humana of the great + Haerlem organ is very lifelike, and the same stop in the organ of the + Cambridge chapel might be mistaken in some of its tones for a human voice; + but I think you never heard anything come so near the cry of a prima donna + as the A string and the E string of this instrument. A single fact will + illustrate the resemblance. I was executing some tours de force upon it + one evening, when the policeman of our district rang the bell sharply, and + asked what was the matter in the house. He had heard a woman's screams,—he + was sure of it. I had to make the instrument sing before his eyes before + he could be satisfied that he had not heard the cries of a woman. The + instrument was bequeathed to me by the Little Gentleman. Whether it had + anything to do with the sounds I heard coming from his chamber, you can + form your own opinion;—I have no other conjecture to offer. It is + not true that a second apartment with a secret entrance was found; and the + story of the veiled lady is the invention of one of the Reporters. + </p> + <p> + Bridget, the housemaid, always insisted that he died a Catholic. She had + seen the crucifix, and believed that he prayed on his knees before it. The + last circumstance is very probably true; indeed, there was a spot worn on + the carpet just before this cabinet which might be thus accounted for. Why + he, whose whole life was a crucifixion, should not love to look on that + divine image of blameless suffering, I cannot see; on the contrary, it + seems to me the most natural thing in the world that he should. But there + are those who want to make private property of everything, and can't make + up their minds that people who don't think as they do should claim any + interest in that infinite compassion expressed in the central figure of + the Christendom which includes us all. + </p> + <p> + The divinity-student expressed a hope before the boarders that he should + meet him in heaven.—The question is, whether he'll meet you,—said + the young fellow John, rather smartly. The divinity-student had n't + thought of that. + </p> + <p> + However, he is a worthy young man, and I trust I have shown him in a + kindly and respectful light. He will get a parish by-and-by; and, as he is + about to marry the sister of an old friend,—the Schoolmistress, whom + some of us remember,—and as all sorts of expensive accidents happen + to young married ministers, he will be under bonds to the amount of his + salary, which means starvation, if they are forfeited, to think all his + days as he thought when he was settled,—unless the majority of his + people change with him or in advance of him. A hard ease, to which nothing + could reconcile a man, except that the faithful discharge of daily duties + in his personal relations with his parishioners will make him useful + enough in his way, though as a thinker he may cease to exist before he has + reached middle age. + </p> + <p> + —Iris went into mourning for the Little Gentleman. Although, as I + have said, he left the bulk of his property, by will, to a public + institution, he added a codicil, by which he disposed of various pieces of + property as tokens of kind remembrance. It was in this way I became the + possessor of the wonderful instrument I have spoken of, which had been + purchased for him out of an Italian convent. The landlady was comforted + with a small legacy. The following extract relates to Iris: “in + consideration of her manifold acts of kindness, but only in token of + grateful remembrance, and by no means as a reward for services which + cannot be compensated, a certain messuage, with all the land thereto + appertaining, situated in ______ Street, at the North End, so called, of + Boston, aforesaid, the same being the house in which I was born, but now + inhabited by several families, and known as 'The Rookery.'” Iris had also + the crucifix, the portrait, and the red-jewelled ring. The funeral or + death's-head ring was buried with him. + </p> + <p> + It was a good while, after the Little Gentleman was gone, before our + boarding-house recovered its wonted cheerfulness. There was a flavor in + his whims and local prejudices that we liked, even while we smiled at + them. It was hard to see the tall chair thrust away among useless lumber, + to dismantle his room, to take down the picture of Leah, the handsome + Witch of Essex, to move away the massive shelves that held the books he + loved, to pack up the tube through which he used to study the silent + stars, looking down at him like the eyes of dumb creatures, with a kind of + stupid half-consciousness that did not worry him as did the eyes of men + and women,—and hardest of all to displace that sacred figure to + which his heart had always turned and found refuge, in the feelings it + inspired, from all the perplexities of his busy brain. It was hard, but it + had to be done. + </p> + <p> + And by-and-by we grew cheerful again, and the breakfast-table wore + something of its old look. The Koh-i-noor, as we named the gentleman with + the diamond, left us, however, soon after that “little mill,” as the young + fellow John called it, where he came off second best. His departure was no + doubt hastened by a note from the landlady's daughter, inclosing a lock of + purple hair which she “had valued as a pledge of affection, ere she knew + the hollowness of the vows he had breathed,” speedily followed by another, + inclosing the landlady's bill. The next morning he was missing, as were + his limited wardrobe and the trunk that held it. Three empty bottles of + Mrs. Allen's celebrated preparation, each of them asserting, on its word + of honor as a bottle, that its former contents were “not a dye,” were all + that was left to us of the Koh-i-noor. + </p> + <p> + From this time forward, the landlady's daughter manifested a decided + improvement in her style of carrying herself before the boarders. She + abolished the odious little flat, gummy side-curl. She left off various + articles of “jewelry.” She began to help her mother in some of her + household duties. She became a regular attendant on the ministrations of a + very worthy clergyman, having been attracted to his meetin' by witnessing + a marriage ceremony in which he called a man and a woman a “gentleman” and + a “lady,”—a stroke of gentility which quite overcame her. She even + took a part in what she called a Sabbath school, though it was held on + Sunday, and by no means on Saturday, as the name she intended to utter + implied. All this, which was very sincere, as I believe, on her part, and + attended with a great improvement in her character, ended in her bringing + home a young man, with straight, sandy hair, brushed so as to stand up + steeply above his forehead, wearing a pair of green spectacles, and + dressed in black broadcloth. His personal aspect, and a certain solemnity + of countenance, led me to think he must be a clergyman; and as Master + Benjamin Franklin blurted out before several of us boarders, one day, that + “Sis had got a beau,” I was pleased at the prospect of her becoming a + minister's wife. On inquiry, however, I found that the somewhat solemn + look which I had noticed was indeed a professional one, but not clerical. + He was a young undertaker, who had just succeeded to a thriving business. + Things, I believe, are going on well at this time of writing, and I am + glad for the landlady's daughter and her mother. Sextons and undertakers + are the cheerfullest people in the world at home, as comedians and + circus-clowns are the most melancholy in their domestic circle. + </p> + <p> + As our old boarding-house is still in existence, I do not feel at liberty + to give too minute a statement of the present condition of each and all of + its inmates. I am happy to say, however, that they are all alive and well, + up to this time. That amiable old gentleman who sat opposite to me is + growing older, as old men will, but still smiles benignantly on all the + boarders, and has come to be a kind of father to all of them,—so + that on his birthday there is always something like a family festival. The + Poor Relation, even, has warmed into a filial feeling towards him, and on + his last birthday made him a beautiful present, namely, a very handsomely + bound copy of Blair's celebrated poem, “The Grave.” + </p> + <p> + The young man John is still, as he says, “in fustrate fettle.” I saw him + spar, not long since, at a private exhibition, and do himself great credit + in a set-to with Henry Finnegass, Esq., a professional gentleman of + celebrity. I am pleased to say that he has been promoted to an upper + clerkship, and, in consequence of his rise in office, has taken an + apartment somewhat lower down than number “forty-'leven,” as he + facetiously called his attic. Whether there is any truth, or not, in the + story of his attachment to, and favorable reception by, the daughter of + the head of an extensive wholesale grocer's establishment, I will not + venture an opinion; I may say, however, that I have met him repeatedly in + company with a very well-nourished and high-colored young lady, who, I + understand, is the daughter of the house in question. + </p> + <p> + Some of the boarders were of opinion that Iris did not return the + undisguised attentions of the handsome young Marylander. Instead of fixing + her eyes steadily on him, as she used to look upon the Little Gentleman, + she would turn them away, as if to avoid his own. They often went to + church together, it is true; but nobody, of course, supposes there is any + relation between religious sympathy and those wretched “sentimental” + movements of the human heart upon which it is commonly agreed that nothing + better is based than society, civilization, friendship, the relation of + husband and wife, and of parent and child, and which many people must + think were singularly overrated by the Teacher of Nazareth, whose whole + life, as I said before, was full of sentiment, loving this or that young + man, pardoning this or that sinner, weeping over the dead, mourning for + the doomed city, blessing, and perhaps kissing, the little children, so + that the Gospels are still cried over almost as often as the last work of + fiction! + </p> + <p> + But one fine June morning there rumbled up to the door of our + boarding-house a hack containing a lady inside and a trunk on the outside. + It was our friend the lady-patroness of Miss Iris, the same who had been + called by her admiring pastor “The Model of all the Virtues.” Once a week + she had written a letter, in a rather formal hand, but full of good + advice, to her young charge. And now she had come to carry her away, + thinking that she had learned all she was likely to learn under her + present course of teaching. The Model, however, was to stay awhile,—a + week, or more,—before they should leave together. + </p> + <p> + Iris was obedient, as she was bound to be. She was respectful, grateful, + as a child is with a just, but not tender parent. Yet something was wrong. + She had one of her trances, and became statue-like, as before, only the + day after the Model's arrival. She was wan and silent, tasted nothing at + table, smiled as if by a forced effort, and often looked vaguely away from + those who were looking at her, her eyes just glazed with the shining + moisture of a tear that must not be allowed to gather and fall. Was it + grief at parting from the place where her strange friendship had grown up + with the Little Gentleman? Yet she seemed to have become reconciled to his + loss, and rather to have a deep feeling of gratitude that she had been + permitted to care for him in his last weary days. + </p> + <p> + The Sunday after the Model's arrival, that lady had an attack of headache, + and was obliged to shut herself up in a darkened room alone. Our two young + friends took the opportunity to go together to the Church of the + Galileans. They said but little going,—“collecting their thoughts” + for the service, I devoutly hope. My kind good friend the pastor preached + that day one of his sermons that make us all feel like brothers and + sisters, and his text was that affectionate one from John, “My little + children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue, but in deed and in + truth.” When Iris and her friend came out of church, they were both pale, + and walked a space without speaking. + </p> + <p> + At last the young man said,—You and I are not little children, Iris! + </p> + <p> + She looked in his face an instant, as if startled, for there was something + strange in the tone of his voice. She smiled faintly, but spoke never a + word. + </p> + <p> + In deed and in truth, Iris,—— + </p> + <p> + What shall a poor girl say or do, when a strong man falters in his speech + before her, and can do nothing better than hold out his hand to finish his + broken sentence? + </p> + <p> + The poor girl said nothing, but quietly laid her ungloved hand in his,—the + little soft white hand which had ministered so tenderly and suffered so + patiently. + </p> + <p> + The blood came back to the young man's cheeks, as he lifted it to his + lips, even as they walked there in the street, touched it gently with + them, and said, “It is mine!” + </p> + <p> + Iris did not contradict him. + </p> + <p> + The seasons pass by so rapidly, that I am startled to think how much has + happened since these events I was describing. Those two young people would + insist on having their own way about their own affairs, notwithstanding + the good lady, so justly called the Model, insisted that the age of + twenty-five years was as early as any discreet young lady should think of + incurring the responsibilities, etc., etc. Long before Iris had reached + that age, she was the wife of a young Maryland engineer, directing some of + the vast constructions of his native State,—where he was growing + rich fast enough to be able to decline that famous Russian offer which + would have made him a kind of nabob in a few years. Iris does not write + verse often, nowadays, but she sometimes draws. The last sketch of hers I + have seen in my Southern visits was of two children, a boy and girl, the + youngest holding a silver goblet, like the one she held that evening when + I—I was so struck with her statue-like beauty. If in the later, + summer months you find the grass marked with footsteps around that grave + on Copp's Hill I told you of, and flowers scattered over it, you may be + sure that Iris is here on her annual visit to the home of her childhood + and that excellent lady whose only fault was, that Nature had written out + her list of virtues an ruled paper, and forgotten to rub out the lines. + </p> + <p> + One thing more I must mention. Being on the Common, last Sunday, I was + attracted by the cheerful spectacle of a well-dressed and somewhat + youthful papa wheeling a very elegant little carriage containing a stout + baby. A buxom young lady watched them from one of the stone seats, with an + interest which could be nothing less than maternal. I at once recognized + my old friend, the young fellow whom we called John. He was delighted to + see me, introduced me to “Madam,” and would have the lusty infant out of + the carriage, and hold him up for me to look at. + </p> + <p> + Now, then,—he said to the two-year-old,—show the gentleman how + you hit from the shoulder. Whereupon the little imp pushed his fat fist + straight into my eye, to his father's intense satisfaction. + </p> + <p> + Fust-rate little chap,—said the papa.—Chip of the old block. + Regl'r little Johnny, you know. + </p> + <p> + I was so much pleased to find the young fellow settled in life, and + pushing about one of “them little articles” he had seemed to want so much, + that I took my “punishment” at the hands of the infant pugilist with great + equanimity.—And how is the old boarding-house?—I asked. + </p> + <p> + A 1,—he answered.—Painted and papered as good as new. Gabs in + all the rooms up to the skyparlors. Old woman's layin' up money, they say. + Means to send Ben Franklin to college. Just then the first bell rang for + church, and my friend, who, I understand, has become a most exemplary + member of society, said he must be off to get ready for meetin', and told + the young one to “shake dada,” which he did with his closed fist, in a + somewhat menacing manner. And so the young man John, as we used to call + him, took the pole of the miniature carriage, and pushed the small + pugilist before him homewards, followed, in a somewhat leisurely way, by + his pleasant-looking lady-companion, and I sent a sigh and a smile after + him. + </p> + <p> + That evening, as soon as it was dark, I could not help going round by the + old boarding-house. The “gahs” was lighted, but the curtains, or more + properly, the painted shades; were not down. And so I stood there and + looked in along the table where the boarders sat at the evening meal,—our + old breakfast-table, which some of us feel as if we knew so well. There + were new faces at it, but also old and familiar ones.—The landlady, + in a wonderfully smart cap, looking young, comparatively speaking, and as + if half the wrinkles had been ironed out of her forehead.—Her + daughter, in rather dressy half-mourning, with a vast brooch of jet, got + up, apparently, to match the gentleman next her, who was in black costume + and sandy hair,—the last rising straight from his forehead, like the + marble flame one sometimes sees at the top of a funeral urn.—The + Poor Relation, not in absolute black, but in a stuff with specks of white; + as much as to say, that, if there were any more Hirams left to sigh for + her, there were pin-holes in the night of her despair, through which a ray + of hope might find its way to an adorer. —Master Benjamin Franklin, + grown taller of late, was in the act of splitting his face open with a + wedge of pie, so that his features were seen to disadvantage for the + moment.—The good old gentleman was sitting still and thoughtful. All + at once he turned his face toward the window where I stood, and, just as + if he had seen me, smiled his benignant smile. It was a recollection of + some past pleasant moment; but it fell upon me like the blessing of a + father. + </p> + <p> + I kissed my hand to them all, unseen as I stood in the outer darkness; and + as I turned and went my way, the table and all around it faded into the + realm of twilight shadows and of midnight dreams. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + —————————— +</pre> + <p> + And so my year's record is finished. The Professor has talked less than + his predecessor, but he has heard and seen more. Thanks to all those + friends who from time to time have sent their messages of kindly + recognition and fellow-feeling! Peace to all such as may have been vexed + in spirit by any utterance these pages have repeated! They will, + doubtless, forget for the moment the difference in the hues of truth we + look at through our human prisms, and join in singing (inwardly) this hymn + to the Source of the light we all need to lead us, and the warmth which + alone can make us all brothers. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + A SUN-DAY HYMN. + + Lord of all being! throned afar, + Thy glory flames from sun and star, + Centre and soul of every sphere, + Yet to each loving heart how near! + + Sun of our life, thy quickening ray + Sheds on our path the glow of day; + Star of our hope, thy softened light + Cheers the long watches of the night. + + Our midnight is thy smile withdrawn; + Our noontide is thy gracious dawn; + Our rainbow arch thy mercy's sign; + All, save the clouds of sin, are thine! + + Lord of all life, below, above, + Whose light is truth, whose warmth is love, + Before thy ever-blazing throne + We ask no lustre of our own. + + Grant us thy truth to make us free, + And kindling hearts that burn for thee, + Till all thy living altars claim + One holy light, one heavenly flame. + One holy light, one heavenly flame. +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Professor at the Breakfast Table +by Oliver Wendell Holmes (Sr.) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PROFESSOR AT BREAKFAST TABLE *** + +***** This file should be named 2665-h.htm or 2665-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/6/6/2665/ + +Produced by David Widger + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project +Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +https://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation” + or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project +Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase “Project Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +“Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, “Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.” + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +“Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right +of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +https://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: https://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + + +</pre> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> + </body> +</html> |