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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The First Distiller, by Leo Tolstoy
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The First Distiller
+
+Author: Leo Tolstoy
+
+Translator: Louise Maude
+ Aylmer Maude
+
+Release Date: September 20, 2008 [EBook #26662]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FIRST DISTILLER ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Bryan Ness, Jana Srna and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ [ Transcriber's Note:
+ This e-book belongs to Tolstoy's Plays (Complete Edition). The
+ front matter, including the table of contents, can be found in
+ e-book #26660; it lists the other plays in the collection.
+
+ Every effort has been made to replicate this text as faithfully as
+ possible; changes (corrections of punctuation) made to the original
+ text are listed at the end of this file.
+ ]
+
+
+
+
+ THE FIRST DISTILLER
+
+ A COMEDY IN SIX ACTS
+
+ (1886)
+
+
+
+
+CHARACTERS
+
+
+A PEASANT.
+
+ { WIFE.
+HIS { MOTHER.
+ { GRANDFATHER.
+ { LITTLE DAUGHTER.
+
+A NEIGHBOUR.
+
+FOUR VILLAGE ELDERS.
+
+OLD WOMEN, WOMEN, GIRLS AND LADS.
+
+
+THE CHIEF OF THE DEVILS.
+
+HIS SECRETARY.
+
+A DANDY IMP.
+
+THE OFFICIALS' IMP.
+
+THE PEASANTS' IMP.
+
+SENTINELS, DOORKEEPERS AND IMPS.
+
+
+
+
+ THE FIRST DISTILLER
+
+ A COMEDY
+
+
+
+
+ACT I
+
+
+PEASANT [ploughing. Looks up] It's noon. Time to unharness. Gee up, get
+along! Fagged out? Poor old beast! One more turn and back again, that
+will be the last furrow, and then dinner. It was a good idea to bring
+that chunk of bread with me. I'll not go home, but sit down by the well
+and have a bite and a rest, and Peggy can graze awhile. Then, with God's
+help, to work again, and the ploughing will be done in good time.
+
+ Enter Imp; hides behind a bush.
+
+IMP. See what a good fellow he is! Keeps calling on God. Wait a bit,
+friend,--you'll be calling on the Devil before long! I'll just take away
+his chunk. He'll miss it before long, and will begin to hunt for it.
+He'll be hungry, and then he'll swear and call on the Devil.
+
+ Takes the chunk of bread and sits down behind the bush watching to
+ see what the Peasant will do.
+
+PEASANT [unharnesses the horse] With God's blessing! [Lets the horse
+loose, and goes towards the place where his coat is lying] I'm awfully
+hungry. The wife cut a big chunk, but see if I don't eat it all. [Coming
+up to the coat] Gone! I must have put it under the coat. [Lifting the
+coat] No, it's not here either! What has happened? [Shakes the coat].
+
+IMP [behind the bush] Go on, go on, search away! I've got it safe!
+
+PEASANT [moves the plough and shakes his coat again] This is strange!
+Very strange! No one was here, yet the chunk is gone! If the birds had
+been at it there would be some crumbs left, but there's not a single
+crumb! No one has been here, and yet some one has taken it!
+
+IMP [rises and looks out] Now he'll call on the Devil.
+
+PEASANT. Well, it seems there's no help for it! Never mind, I shan't
+starve to death. If some one has taken it, he's taken it; let him eat
+it, and may it do him good.
+
+IMP [spits] Oh, the damned peasant! Instead of swearing properly, he
+only says, "May it do him good." What can one do with such a fellow?
+
+ Peasant lies down to rest, makes the sign of the cross, yawns, and
+ falls asleep.
+
+IMP [comes out from behind the bush] It's all very well for the boss to
+talk. The boss keeps on saying, "You don't bring enough peasants to
+Hell! See what a lot of tradesmen, gentlefolk, and all sorts of people
+flock in every day, and how few peasants!" Now, how's one to get round
+this one? There's no way of getting hold of him. Haven't I stolen his
+last crust? What can I do better than that? And yet he didn't swear. I'm
+at my wits' end what to do! Well, I must go and report!
+
+ Disappears into the ground.
+
+
+ Curtain.
+
+
+
+
+ACT II
+
+ Hell. The Chief of the Devils sits in the highest place. The Devil's
+ Secretary sits lower down, at a table with writing materials.
+ Sentinels stand at each side. To the right are five Imps of
+ different kinds. To the left, by the door, the Doorkeeper. A
+ dandified Imp stands before the Chief.
+
+
+THE DANDY IMP. The whole of my booty for the three years has been
+220,005 men. They're all in my power now.
+
+THE CHIEF. All right. Thank you. Pass on.
+
+ The Dandy Imp goes to the right.
+
+THE CHIEF [to the Secretary] I'm tired! Is there much business left?
+Whose reports have we had, and whose are still to come?
+
+THE SECRETARY [counts on his fingers and, as he counts, points to the
+Imps to the right. When he mentions any Imp, the one referred to bows]
+We've had the Gentlefolks' Devil's report. He's captured 1836 in all.
+And the Tradesmen's Devil's with 9643. From the Lawyers', 3423. The
+Women's we've also just had: 186,315 married women, and 17,438 maids.
+Only two Devils are left, the Officials' and the Peasants'. There are
+altogether 220,005 souls on the list.
+
+CHIEF. Well then, we'd better finish it all to-day. [To the Doorkeeper]
+Let them in!
+
+ The Officials' Devil enters, and bows to the Chief.
+
+CHIEF. Well, how have you got on?
+
+OFFICIALS' IMP [laughing, and rubbing his hands] My affairs are all
+right, just as soot they are white! The booty is such that I don't
+remember anything like it since the creation of the world.
+
+CHIEF. What, have you captured a great many?
+
+OFFICIALS' IMP. It's not so much the quantity. Only 1350 men in all, but
+such splendid fellows! Such fellows, they might shame any Devil! They
+can embroil people better than we ourselves can. I've introduced a new
+fashion among them.
+
+CHIEF. What's that new fashion?
+
+OFFICIALS' IMP. Why, in former times lawyers were in attendance on the
+judges and deceived people. Now, I've arranged for them to do business
+also apart from the judges. Whoever pays most, is the one to whose
+business they attend. And they'll take such trouble over it that they'll
+make out a case where there is none! They and the officials between them
+embroil people far better than we Devils can.
+
+CHIEF. All right. I'll have a look at them. You may pass on.
+
+ The Officials' Imp goes to the right.
+
+CHIEF [to Doorkeeper] Let in the last one.
+
+ Enter the Peasants' Imp with the chunk of bread. He bows to the
+ ground.
+
+PEASANTS' IMP. I can't live like this any longer! Give me another
+appointment!
+
+CHIEF. What appointment? What are you jabbering about? Get up and talk
+sense. Give in your report! How many peasants have you captured this
+week?
+
+PEASANTS' IMP [crying] Not one!
+
+CHIEF. What? Not one! What do you mean? What have you been doing? Where
+have you been loafing?
+
+PEASANTS' IMP [whimpering] I've not been loafing; I've been straining
+every nerve all the time, but I can't do anything! There now, I went and
+took his last crust from under the very nose of one of them, and,
+instead of swearing, he wished it might do me good!
+
+CHIEF. What?... What?... What are you mumbling there? Just blow your
+nose, and then speak sensibly! One can't make head or tail of what
+you're saying.
+
+PEASANTS' IMP. Why, there was a peasant ploughing; and I knew he had
+brought only a chunk of bread with him, and had nothing else to eat. I
+stole his crust. By rights he should have sworn; but what does he do? He
+says, "Let him who has taken it eat it, and may it do him good!" I've
+brought the chunk of bread away with me. Here it is!
+
+CHIEF. Well, and what of the others?
+
+PEASANTS' IMP. They're all alike. I could not manage to take a single
+one.
+
+CHIEF. How dare you appear before me with empty hands? And as if that
+were not enough, you must needs bring some stinking crust or other here!
+Do you mean to mock me? Do you mean to live in Hell and eat the bread of
+idleness? The others do their best, and work hard! Why, they [points to
+the Imps] have each supplied 10,000 or 20,000, or even 200,000. And you
+come with empty hands, and bring a miserable crust, and begin spinning
+your yarns. You chatter, but don't work; and that's why you've lost hold
+of them. But wait a bit, my friend, I'll teach you a thing or two!
+
+PEASANTS' IMP. Before you punish me, listen to what I'll tell you. It's
+all very well for those other Devils, who have to do with gentlefolk,
+with merchants, or with women. It's all plain sailing for them! Show a
+nobleman a coronet, or a fine estate, and you've got him, and may lead
+him where you like. It's the same with a tradesman. Show him some money
+and stir up his covetousness, and you may lead him as with a halter. And
+with the women it's also plain sailing. Give them finery and sweets--and
+you may do what you like with them. But as to the peasants--there's a
+long row to hoe with them! When he's at work from morn till
+night--sometimes even far into the night--and never starts without a
+thought of God, how's one to get at him? Master, remove me from these
+peasants! I'm tired to death of them, and have angered you into the
+bargain!
+
+CHIEF. You're humbugging, you idler! It's no use your talking about the
+others. They've got hold of the merchants, the nobles, and the women,
+because they knew how to treat them, and invented new traps for them!
+The official one there--he has made quite a new departure. You must
+think of something too! You've stolen a crust, and brag about it! What a
+clever thing to do! Surround them with snares, and they'll get caught in
+one or other of them. But loafing about as you do, and leaving the way
+open for them, those peasants of yours have gained strength. They begin
+not to care about their last crust. If they take to such ways, and teach
+their women the same, they'll get quite beyond us! Invent something! Get
+out of the hole as best you can.
+
+PEASANTS' IMP. I can't think how to set about it. Let me off! I can
+stand it no longer!
+
+CHIEF [angrily] Can't stand it! What do you think, then? Am I to do your
+work for you?
+
+PEASANTS' IMP. I can't!
+
+CHIEF. Can't? Wait a bit! Hollo, there! bring the switches; give him a
+thrashing.
+
+ The Sentinels seize the Imp and whip him.
+
+PEASANTS' IMP. Oh! Oh! Oh!...
+
+CHIEF. Have you thought of something?
+
+PEASANTS' IMP. Oh, oh, I can't!
+
+CHIEF. Give him some more. [They whip] Well--thought of something?
+
+PEASANTS' IMP. Yes--yes, I have!
+
+CHIEF. Well, tell us what it is.
+
+PEASANTS' IMP. I've invented a dodge that will bring them all into my
+grasp, if you'll only let me take a labourer's place with that peasant.
+But I can't explain what it is beforehand.
+
+CHIEF. All right. Only remember, that if you don't atone for that crust
+within three years, I'll flay you alive!
+
+PEASANTS' IMP. They'll all be mine in three years' time.
+
+CHIEF. All right. When the three years are past, I shall come and see
+for myself!
+
+
+ Curtain.
+
+
+
+
+ACT III
+
+ A barn. Carts loaded with grain. The Imp as a Labourer. He is
+ shovelling grain off the cart, and the Peasant is carrying it away
+ in a measure.
+
+
+LABOURER. Seven!
+
+PEASANT. How many quarters?
+
+LABOURER [looks at the numbers marked on the barn door] Twenty-six
+quarters. And this is the seventh bushel of the twenty-seventh quarter.
+
+PEASANT. It won't all go in; the barn is nearly full!
+
+LABOURER. Shovel it nice and even.
+
+PEASANT. So I will.
+
+ Exit with measure.
+
+LABOURER [alone, takes off his cap, his horns appear] It will be some
+time before he returns. I'll ease my horns a bit. [Horns rise] And I'll
+take my boots off too; I can't do it when he's here. [Takes his boots
+off, his hoofs appear. Sits on the threshold] It's the third year now.
+It's near the time of reckoning. There's more corn than there's room
+for. Only one more thing left to teach him, and then let the Chief come
+and see for himself. I'll have something worth showing him! He'll
+forgive me for that crust!
+
+ Neighbour approaches. Labourer hides his horns and hoofs.
+
+NEIGHBOUR. Good day to you.
+
+LABOURER. The same to you.
+
+NEIGHBOUR. Where's your master?
+
+LABOURER. He's gone to spread the grain more even; it won't all go in.
+
+NEIGHBOUR. Dear me, what a run of luck your master is having! More than
+he has room for? We're all amazed at the harvests your master has had
+these two years. It's as if some one had told him what was coming. Last
+year was a dry season, and he had sown in the bog. Others had no
+harvest, but your threshing ground was covered with sheaves! This year
+we've a rainy summer, and he's been sharp enough to sow on the hill.
+Everybody's corn has rotted, but you have a splendid harvest. What
+grain! Ah, what grain!
+
+ Takes some grain, weighs it in his hand, and chews it.
+
+PEASANT [enters with empty measure] How d'ye do, neighbour?
+
+NEIGHBOUR. Good day. I was saying to your man here, how well you managed
+to guess where to sow your corn. Every one envies you. What heaps, what
+heaps of corn you have got! You'll not eat it all in ten years.
+
+PEASANT. It's all thanks to Nicholas here. [Points to Labourer] It was
+his luck. Last year I sent him to plough, and what did he do but plough
+in the bog. I gave him a scolding, but he persuaded me to sow there. And
+so I did, and it turned out all for the best! And this year he again
+guessed right, and sowed on the hill!
+
+NEIGHBOUR. It's as if he knew what kind of season it would be. Yes, you
+have got corn enough and no mistake! [Silence] And I have come to ask
+you to lend me a sack of rye. Ours is all used up. I'll return it next
+year.
+
+PEASANT. All right, you may have it.
+
+LABOURER [nudging the Peasant] Don't give it!
+
+PEASANT. No more words about it. Take it.
+
+NEIGHBOUR. Thank you. I'll just run and fetch a sack.
+
+LABOURER [aside] He keeps to his old ways ... still goes on giving. He
+doesn't always obey me. But just wait a bit. He'll soon stop giving
+away.
+
+ Exit Neighbour.
+
+PEASANT [sitting down on the threshold] Why should one not give to a
+good man?
+
+LABOURER. Giving is one thing, getting back another! You know--
+
+ "It's a good world to lend in, a good world to spend in,
+ But to get back one's own, it's the worst world that's known."
+
+That's what the old folk say.
+
+PEASANT. Don't worry. We've plenty of corn.
+
+LABOURER. Well, what of that?
+
+PEASANT. We've enough, not only till next harvest but for two years
+ahead. What are we to do with it all?
+
+LABOURER. What are we to do with it? I could make such stuff of this
+corn as would make you rejoice all the days of your life.
+
+PEASANT. Why, what would you make of it?
+
+LABOURER. A kind of drink. Drink, that would give you strength when you
+are weak, satisfy you when you are hungry, give you sleep when you are
+restless, make you merry when you're sad, give you courage when you're
+afraid. That's the drink I'd make!
+
+PEASANT. Rubbish!
+
+LABOURER. Rubbish indeed! It was just the same when I told you to sow in
+the bog, and then on the hill. You did not believe me then, but now you
+know! You'll find out about the drink the same way.
+
+PEASANT. But what will you make it of?
+
+LABOURER. Why, of this same corn.
+
+PEASANT. But won't that be a sin?
+
+LABOURER. Just hear him! Why should it be a sin? Everything is given for
+a joy to man.
+
+PEASANT. And where did you get all your wisdom from, Nick? You seem a
+very ordinary man to look at, and hard-working too. Why, I don't
+remember you so much as ever taking your boots off all these two years
+you've been with me. And yet you seem to know everything. Where did you
+learn it?
+
+LABOURER. I've been about a good deal!
+
+PEASANT. And so you say this drink will give one strength?
+
+LABOURER. Just wait till you try it and see the good that comes of it.
+
+PEASANT. And how are we to make it?
+
+LABOURER. It's not hard to make when you know how! Only we shall want a
+copper and a couple of iron vessels.
+
+PEASANT. And does it taste nice?
+
+LABOURER. As sweet as honey. When once you've tasted it you'll never
+give it up.
+
+PEASANT. Is that so? Well, I'll go to the neighbour's; he used to have a
+copper. We'll have a try!
+
+
+ Curtain.
+
+
+
+
+ACT IV
+
+ A barn. In the middle a closed copper on the fire, with another
+ vessel, under which is a tap.
+
+
+LABOURER [holds a tumbler under the tap and drinks the spirit] Well,
+master, it's ready now.
+
+PEASANT [sitting on his heels and looking on] What a queer thing. Here's
+water coming out of the mixture. Why are you letting this water off
+first?
+
+LABOURER. It's not water. It is the very stuff itself!
+
+PEASANT. Why is it so clear? I thought it would be yellow like grain.
+This is just like water.
+
+LABOURER. But you just smell it!
+
+PEASANT. Ah, what a scent! Well, well, let's see what it's like in the
+mouth. Let me taste! [Tries to take the tumbler out of the Labourer's
+hand].
+
+LABOURER. Mind, you'll spill it! [Turns the tap off, drinks and smacks
+his lips] It's ready! Here you are. Drink it!
+
+PEASANT [drinks, first sipping, then taking more and more, till he
+empties the glass and gives it back] Now then, some more. One can't tell
+the taste from such a drop.
+
+LABOURER [laughing] Well, you seem to like it! [Draws some more].
+
+PEASANT [drinks] Eh, that's the sort! Let's call the missis. Hey,
+Martha! Come along! It's ready! Come on there!
+
+ Enter Wife and little girl.
+
+WIFE. What's the matter? Why are you kicking up such a row?
+
+PEASANT. You just taste what we've been distilling. [Hands her the
+glass] Smell! What does it smell of?
+
+WIFE [smells] Dear me!
+
+PEASANT. Drink!
+
+WIFE. But perhaps it may do one some harm?
+
+PEASANT. Drink, fool!
+
+WIFE. True. It is nice!
+
+PEASANT [a little tipsy] Nice indeed! You wait and see what'll happen.
+Nick says it drives all weariness out of one's bones. The young grow
+old. I mean, the old grow young. There now, I've only had two glasses of
+it, and all my bones have got easy. [Swaggers] You see? Wait a bit, when
+you and I drink it every day we'll grow young again! Come, Martha!
+[Embraces her].
+
+WIFE. Get along. Why, it's made you quite silly.
+
+PEASANT. There, you see! You said Nick and I were wasting the corn, but
+just see what stuff we've concocted. Eh? It's good, ain't it?
+
+WIFE. Of course, it's good if it makes the old young again. Just see how
+jolly it has made you! And I feel jolly too! Now then, join in! Ah ...
+Ah ... Ah ... [Sings].
+
+PEASANT. Yes, that's the way! We'll all be young, all young.
+
+WIFE. We must call mother-in-law, for she's always sad and grumbling.
+She needs renewing. When she's younger she'll get kinder.
+
+PEASANT [tipsy] Yes, call mother. Call her here, and grandfather too. I
+say, Mary, run and call your granny and great-grandfather. Tell him he
+must get down from the oven! We'll make him young again. Now then,
+quick! One, two, three, and away! Off like a shot! [Girl runs off. To
+Wife] We'll have another glass.
+
+ Labourer fills and hands the glasses.
+
+PEASANT [drinks] At first we got young at the top, in the tongue; then
+it went down into the arms. Now it has reached the feet. I feel my feet
+getting younger. They're moving of themselves. [Starts dancing].
+
+WIFE [drinks] You're a real clever 'un, Nick! Now then, strike up!
+
+ Labourer takes a balaláyka[1] and plays. Peasant and Wife dance.
+
+ [1] The balaláyka is an instrument (generally three-stringed) used by
+ Russian peasants, and answering to the negroes' banjo.
+
+LABOURER [plays in the foreground of the scene, laughing and winking as
+he watches them. Then he leaves off playing, but they still continue to
+dance] You'll pay for that crust! You've done it now, my fine fellows.
+They'll never get out of it. The Chief can come when he likes now!
+
+ Enter a fresh-looking elderly woman, and a very old white-haired
+ man, the Peasant's Grandfather.
+
+GRANDFATHER. What's the matter? Have you gone mad? Dancing while every
+one else is at work!
+
+WIFE [dances and claps her hands] Oh--Oh--Oh-- [Sings]
+
+ "That I'm sinning I will own,
+ Free from sin is God alone!"
+
+OLD WOMAN. Oh, you wretch! The oven's not cleaned out yet, and here you
+are dancing!
+
+PEASANT. Wait a bit, mother. See what has been happening here. We can
+make old people young again! Here you are! Just drink this! [Passes
+tumbler].
+
+OLD WOMAN. There's plenty of water in the well. [Smells it] But what
+have you put in? My--what a smell!
+
+PEASANT. You just drink it.
+
+OLD WOMAN [tastes] Dear me! But won't one die of it?
+
+WIFE. It will make you more alive. You'll grow young again!
+
+OLD WOMAN. Nonsense! [Drinks] But it's nice! Better than our drinks.
+Here, father, have some too.
+
+ Grandfather sits down and shakes his head.
+
+LABOURER. Never mind him. But granny must have another glass. [Hands
+some to the old woman].
+
+OLD WOMAN. If only no harm comes of it. Oh dear, it does burn! But it is
+nice.
+
+WIFE. Drink it! Then you'll feel it running through your veins.
+
+OLD WOMAN. Well, I suppose I'll have to try. [Drinks].
+
+WIFE. Has it reached your feet yet?
+
+OLD WOMAN. True enough, it does run through you. I feel it here now! And
+it really makes one feel quite light. Come--give me some more. [Drinks
+again] Fine! Now I'm quite young again.
+
+PEASANT. Didn't I tell you?
+
+OLD WOMAN. Ah, it's a pity my old man is no longer here. He might have
+seen once more what I was like in my young days.
+
+ Labourer plays. Peasant and Wife dance.
+
+OLD WOMAN [comes into the middle] Do you call that dancing? Let me show
+you. [Dances] That's the way! Then like this, and like that! Do you see?
+
+ Grandfather goes up to the vessel and lets the spirit run out on to
+ the ground.
+
+PEASANT [notices and rushes at his Grandfather] What are you up to, you
+old fool? Spilling such fine stuff! Oh, you old dotard! [Pushes him away
+and holds tumbler under tap] You've emptied it all!
+
+GRANDFATHER. It's evil and not good! God has sent you a good harvest for
+you to feed yourself and others, but you have turned the corn into
+devils' drink. No good will come of it. Give up this business. Else
+you'll perish and ruin others! You think this is drink? It's fire, and
+will burn you up! [Takes a brand from the fire and lights the spilt
+spirit. The spirit burns. They all look on with horror].
+
+
+ Curtain.
+
+
+
+
+ACT V
+
+ Interior of hut. The Labourer alone, his horns and hoofs showing.
+
+
+LABOURER. There's lots of corn. More than there's room for, and he's now
+got a taste for it. We've been distilling again, and we've filled a
+barrel and hidden it away. We're not going to treat any one for nothing,
+but when we want to get something out of a fellow, then we'll treat him!
+So to-day I told him to invite the village elders and treat them, that
+they should divide up the property between him and his grandfather, and
+give everything to him and nothing to the old man! My three years are up
+to-day, and my work is finished. Let the Chief come and see for himself.
+I needn't be ashamed of his seeing it!
+
+ Chief appears out of the ground.
+
+CHIEF. Time's up! Have you redeemed your bread-blunder? I told you I'd
+come and see for myself. Have you managed the Peasant?
+
+LABOURER. Done him completely! Judge for yourself. Some of them will
+meet here soon. Get into the oven, and see what they'll do. You'll be
+well satisfied!
+
+CHIEF [climbs into the oven] We'll see!
+
+ Enter the Peasant and four old men. The Wife follows. The men sit
+ down round the table. The Wife lays the cloth, sets ox-foot brawn
+ and pies on the table. The old men exchange greetings with Labourer.
+
+FIRST ELDER. Well, have you made more of the drink?
+
+LABOURER. Yes, we've distilled as much as we need. Why let valuable
+stuff be wasted?
+
+SECOND ELDER. And is it a success?
+
+LABOURER. Better than the first lot.
+
+SECOND ELDER. But where did you learn to make it?
+
+LABOURER. Going about in the world one learns many things!
+
+THIRD ELDER. Yes, yes, you're a knowing fellow.
+
+ Wife brings spirits and glasses.
+
+PEASANT. Have a drop!
+
+ Wife takes a decanter and fills glasses.
+
+WIFE. Do us the honour!
+
+FIRST ELDER [drinks] Your health! Ah, that's good. It runs right through
+all one's joints. That's what I call proper drink!
+
+ The other three Elders do the same. Chief gets out of the oven.
+ Labourer goes and stands by him.
+
+LABOURER [to Chief] See what will happen now! I'll trip up the woman
+with my foot and she'll spill the liquor. Formerly he did not grudge his
+last crust, but now see what he'll do about a glass of spirits!
+
+PEASANT. Now then, wife, fill again and hand it round in due
+order--first to our friend here, then to Daddy Michael.
+
+ Wife fills a glass and goes round the table. The Labourer trips her
+ up; she stumbles and upsets the glass.
+
+WIFE. Gracious goodness, I've spilt it! Why do you get in my way,
+confound you?
+
+PEASANT [to Wife] There now, what a clumsy beast! Her fingers are all
+thumbs, and she goes swearing at others! See what fine stuff she goes
+spilling on the ground!
+
+WIFE. I didn't do it on purpose.
+
+PEASANT. On purpose indeed! Wait till I get up; I'll teach you how to
+pour spirits on the ground. [To Labourer] And you too, you confounded
+fool, what are you prancing round the table for? Go to the Devil!
+
+ Wife again fills and hands the glasses round.
+
+LABOURER [goes back to the oven to the Chief] You see? Formerly he did
+not grudge his last crust, and now for a glass of spirits he nearly beat
+his wife and sent me to you--to the Devil!
+
+CHIEF. It's good, very good! I'm satisfied.
+
+LABOURER. You wait a bit. Let them empty the bottle--and you'll see what
+will happen. Even now they are giving each other smooth oily words;
+presently they'll start flattering each other,--as cunning as foxes.
+
+PEASANT. Well, old friends, what's your opinion of my business? My
+grandfather has been living with me, and I have been feeding him and
+feeding him, and now he's gone to live with my uncle, and wants to take
+his share of the property and give it to uncle! Consider it well; you
+are wise men. We could as well do without our own heads as without you.
+There's no one in the whole village to come near you. Take you for
+example, Iván Fedótitch--doesn't every one say you're first among men?
+And as for me, I'll tell you the truth, Iván Fedótitch, I'm fonder of
+you than of my own father or mother. As for Michael Stepánitch, he's an
+old friend.
+
+FIRST ELDER [to Peasant] It's good to talk with a good man. It's the way
+to get wisdom. It's just the same with you. One can't find any one to
+compare with you either.
+
+SECOND ELDER. Wise and affectionate--that's what I like you for.
+
+THIRD ELDER. You have my best sympathy. I can't find words to express
+it. I was saying to my old woman only to-day ...
+
+FOURTH ELDER. A friend, a real friend!
+
+LABOURER [nudges the Chief] Do you hear? All lies! They abuse one
+another behind their backs, but see how thick they are laying it on
+now,--like foxes wagging their tails! And it all comes from that drink.
+
+CHIEF. That drink is good, very good! If they take to lying like that,
+they'll all be ours. Very good; I'm satisfied!
+
+LABOURER. Wait a bit. When they've finished a second bottle it will be
+better still!
+
+WIFE [serves] Do have another glass.
+
+FIRST ELDER. Won't it be too much? Your health! [Drinks] It's pleasant
+to drink in the company of a good man.
+
+SECOND ELDER. How can one help drinking? Health to the host and hostess!
+
+THIRD ELDER. Friends, your health!
+
+FOURTH ELDER. This is a brew of the right sort! Let's be merry! We'll
+arrange things for you. 'Cos it all depends on me!
+
+FIRST ELDER. On you? No, not on you, but on what your seniors say.
+
+FOURTH ELDER. My seniors are greater fools. Go where you came from!
+
+SECOND ELDER. What are you up to now? You fool!
+
+THIRD ELDER. It's true what he's saying! 'Cos why? The host is not
+entertaining us for nothing. He means business. The business can be
+arranged. Only you must stand treat! Show us due respect. 'Cos it's you
+as wants me, and not I you! You're own brother to the pig!
+
+PEASANT. And you're itself! What are you yelling for? Think to surprise
+me? You are all good at stuffing yourselves!
+
+FIRST ELDER. What are you giving yourself airs for? See if I don't twist
+your nose to one side!
+
+PEASANT. We'll see whose nose will get twisted!
+
+SECOND ELDER. Think yourself such a marvel? Go to the Devil! I won't
+speak to you--I'll go away!
+
+PEASANT [holds him] What, will you break up the company?
+
+SECOND ELDER. Let me go, or I'll call for help!
+
+PEASANT. I won't! What right have you to ...?
+
+SECOND ELDER. This right! [Beats him].
+
+PEASANT [to the other Elders] Help me!
+
+ They fall on one another, and all speak at once.
+
+FIRST ELDER. That's why. 'Cos it means we're all having a spree-ee!
+
+SECOND ELDER. I can arrange everything!
+
+THIRD ELDER. Let's have some more!
+
+PEASANT [to Wife] Bring another bottle!
+
+ All sit round the table again and drink.
+
+LABOURER [to Chief] Have you noticed? The wolf's blood in them was
+aroused, and they've turned as fierce as wolves.
+
+CHIEF. The drink is good! I'm satisfied!
+
+LABOURER. Wait a bit. Let them empty a third bottle. Things will be
+better still!
+
+
+ Curtain.
+
+
+
+
+ACT VI
+
+ The scene represents a village street. To the right some old women
+ are sitting on logs of wood with the Grandfather. In the centre, is
+ a ring of women, girls, and lads. Dance music is played and they
+ dance. Noise is heard from the hut, and drunken screams. An old man
+ comes out and shouts in a tipsy voice. The Peasant follows him and
+ leads him back.
+
+
+GRANDFATHER. Ah, what doings! what doings! One would think, what more
+would any one want than to do his work on week days, and when Sunday
+comes round, to have a good wash, clean the harness, and rest a bit and
+sit with his family; or go outside and have a talk with the old folk
+about matters concerning the Commune. Or, if you're young, have a game.
+There they are playing,--and it's pleasant to look at them. It's all
+pleasant and good. [Screams inside the hut] But this sort of thing, what
+is it? It only leads men astray, and pleases the Devils. And it all
+comes of fat living!
+
+ Tipsy men come tumbling out of the hut, shout, and catch hold of the
+ girls.
+
+GIRLS. Leave off, Daddy Tom! What do you mean by it?
+
+LADS. Let's go into the lane. It's impossible to play here.
+
+ Exeunt all who were playing in the ring.
+
+PEASANT [goes up to Grandfather] What have you got now? The Elders will
+allot everything to me! [Snaps his fingers at him] That's what you'll
+get! So there you are! It's all mine and you've nothing! They'll tell
+you so themselves!
+
+ The four Elders speak all at once.
+
+FIRST ELDER. 'Cos I know what's what!
+
+SECOND ELDER.
+
+ "'Fore all I'll be heard,
+ 'Cos I'm an old bird!"
+
+THIRD ELDER. Friend! dear friend, dearest friend!
+
+FOURTH ELDER.
+
+ "Jog along hut, jog along bed,
+ The missis has nowhere to lay down her head!"
+
+Now then, come along!
+
+ The Elders take each other's arms in couples and go off reeling, one
+ couple following the other. The Peasant turns back to the hut, but
+ stumbles before he reaches it,--falls down, and lies muttering
+ incomprehensible words that sound like grunts. The Grandfather and
+ those he was with, rise and exeunt.
+
+ Enter Labourer and Chief of Devils.
+
+LABOURER. Did you see? Now the swine's blood has been roused in them,
+and from wolves they have turned into swine! [Points to Peasant] There
+he lies in the dirt and grunts like a hog!
+
+CHIEF. You have succeeded! First like foxes, then like wolves, and now
+like swine! Well, that is a drink! But tell me, how did you make it? I
+suppose it's made of a mixture of foxes', wolves', and swine's blood?
+
+LABOURER. Oh no! I only supplied him with too much corn! As long as he
+had only as much corn as he needed, he did not grudge his last crust,
+but when he had more than he knew what to do with, the fox's, the
+wolf's, and the swine's blood in him awoke. He always had beast's blood
+in him, only it could not get the upper hand.
+
+CHIEF. Well, you're a fine fellow! You've atoned for your crust-blunder.
+Now they only need to drink spirits, and they're altogether ours!
+
+
+ Curtain.
+
+
+ END OF "THE FIRST DISTILLER."
+
+
+
+
+[ Transcriber's Note:
+
+ The following is a list of corrections made to the original. The first
+ line is the original line, the second the corrected one.
+
+ Curtain [at the ends of Acts III and V]
+ Curtain.
+
+ Wife again fills and hands the glasses round
+ Wife again fills and hands the glasses round.
+]
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The First Distiller, by Leo Tolstoy
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+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The First Distiller, by Leo Tolstoy
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The First Distiller
+
+Author: Leo Tolstoy
+
+Translator: Louise Maude
+ Aylmer Maude
+
+Release Date: September 20, 2008 [EBook #26662]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FIRST DISTILLER ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Bryan Ness, Jana Srna and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<div id="tnote"><p class="center" style="font-weight: bold;">Transcriber's Note:</p>
+<p>This e-book belongs to Tolstoy's <cite>Plays (Complete Edition)</cite>.
+The front matter, including the table of contents, can be found in a
+<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/files/26660/26660-h/26660-h.htm">separate e-book</a>;
+it links to the other plays in the collection.</p>
+<hr/>
+<p>Every effort has been made to replicate this text as faithfully as
+possible; changes (corrections of punctuation) made to
+the original text are marked <ins title="transcriber's note">like this</ins>.
+The original text appears when hovering the cursor over the marked text.</p></div>
+
+<h1 style="line-height: 2em; font-size: large; font-weight: normal; margin-top: 120px;"><big style="font-size: 1.3em;">THE FIRST DISTILLER</big><br/>
+
+<i>A COMEDY IN SIX ACTS</i></h1>
+
+<p class="center">(1886)</p>
+
+
+
+<div style="margin-top: 10em;">&nbsp;</div>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_99">98</a></span></p>
+<h2>CHARACTERS</h2>
+
+<div style="font-size: 0.9em; width: 22em; margin: auto;">
+<p>A PEASANT.</p>
+<table id="family" summary="The peasant's family">
+<tr>
+ <td rowspan="4" style="padding-right: 0.4em;">HIS</td>
+ <td rowspan="2" style="padding-left: 0.4em; border-bottom: 1px solid black; border-right: 1px solid black;">&nbsp;</td>
+ <td rowspan="4" style="padding-left: 0.4em; border-top: 1px solid black; border-bottom: 1px solid black;">&nbsp;</td>
+ <td style="padding-left: 0.4em;">WIFE.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+ <td style="padding-left: 0.4em;">MOTHER.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+ <td rowspan="2" style="border-right: 1px solid black;">&nbsp;</td>
+ <td style="padding-left: 0.4em;">GRANDFATHER.</td>
+</tr>
+<tr>
+ <td style="padding-left: 0.4em; border-bottom: 0px solid white;">LITTLE DAUGHTER.</td>
+</tr>
+</table>
+
+<p>A NEIGHBOUR.</p>
+
+<p>FOUR VILLAGE ELDERS.</p>
+
+<p>OLD WOMEN, WOMEN, GIRLS AND LADS.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 4em; height: 1px; margin: 1em auto 1em auto; background-color: black; color: black; border: none;"/>
+
+<p>THE CHIEF OF THE DEVILS.</p>
+
+<p>HIS SECRETARY.</p>
+
+<p>A DANDY IMP.</p>
+
+<p>THE OFFICIALS' IMP.</p>
+
+<p>THE PEASANTS' IMP.</p>
+
+<p>SENTINELS, DOORKEEPERS AND IMPS.</p>
+</div>
+
+
+<div class="new-h2">&nbsp;</div>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_99">99</a></span></p>
+<p class="center" style="font-size: x-large; margin-top: 0em;">THE FIRST DISTILLER<br/><br/>
+
+<small>A COMEDY</small></p>
+
+
+
+<div class="new-h2">&nbsp;</div>
+<h2>ACT I</h2>
+
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT</span> [<i>ploughing. Looks up</i>] It's noon. Time to unharness.
+Gee up, get along! Fagged out? Poor old
+beast! One more turn and back again, that will be the
+last furrow, and then dinner. It was a good idea to bring
+that chunk of bread with me. I'll not go home, but sit
+down by the well and have a bite and a rest, and Peggy
+can graze awhile. Then, with God's help, to work again,
+and the ploughing will be done in good time.</p>
+
+<p><i>Enter Imp; hides behind a bush.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">IMP.</span> See what a good fellow he is! Keeps calling on
+God. Wait a bit, friend,&mdash;you'll be calling on the Devil
+before long! I'll just take away his chunk. He'll miss
+it before long, and will begin to hunt for it. He'll be
+hungry, and then he'll swear and call on the Devil.</p>
+
+<p><i>Takes the chunk of bread and sits down behind the bush
+watching to see what the Peasant will do.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT</span> [<i>unharnesses the horse</i>] With God's blessing!
+[<i>Lets the horse loose, and goes towards the place where his
+coat is lying</i>] I'm awfully hungry. The wife cut a big
+chunk, but see if I don't eat it all. [<i>Coming up to the coat</i>]
+Gone! I must have put it under the coat. [<i>Lifting the
+coat</i>] No, it's not here either! What has happened?
+[<i>Shakes the coat</i>].</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_100">100</a></span>
+<span class="speaker">IMP</span> [<i>behind the bush</i>] Go on, go on, search away! I've
+got it safe!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT</span> [<i>moves the plough and shakes his coat again</i>] This
+is strange! Very strange! No one was here, yet the chunk
+is gone! If the birds had been at it there would be
+some crumbs left, but there's not a single crumb! No
+one has been here, and yet some one has taken it!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">IMP</span> [<i>rises and looks out</i>] Now he'll call on the Devil.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> Well, it seems there's no help for it! Never
+mind, I shan't starve to death. If some one has taken it,
+he's taken it; let him eat it, and may it do him good.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">IMP</span> [<i>spits</i>] Oh, the damned peasant! Instead of swearing
+properly, he only says, &ldquo;May it do him good.&rdquo; What
+can one do with such a fellow?</p>
+
+<p><i>Peasant lies down to rest, makes the sign of the cross, yawns,
+and falls asleep.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">IMP</span> [<i>comes out from behind the bush</i>] It's all very well
+for the boss to talk. The boss keeps on saying, &ldquo;You
+don't bring enough peasants to Hell! See what a lot of
+tradesmen, gentlefolk, and all sorts of people flock in
+every day, and how few peasants!&rdquo; Now, how's one
+to get round this one? There's no way of getting hold
+of him. Haven't I stolen his last crust? What can I do
+better than that? And yet he didn't swear. I'm at my
+wits' end what to do! Well, I must go and report!</p>
+
+<p><i>Disappears into the ground.</i></p>
+
+<p class="center curtain"><i>Curtain.</i></p>
+
+
+<div class="new-h2">&nbsp;</div>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_101">101</a></span></p>
+<h2>ACT II</h2>
+
+<p class="scene">Hell. The Chief of the Devils sits in the highest place. The
+Devil's Secretary sits lower down, at a table with writing
+materials. Sentinels stand at each side. To the right are
+five Imps of different kinds. To the left, by the door, the
+Doorkeeper. A dandified Imp stands before the Chief.</p>
+
+
+<p><span class="speaker">THE DANDY IMP.</span> The whole of my booty for the three
+years has been 220,005 men. They're all in my power
+now.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">THE CHIEF.</span> All right. Thank you. Pass on.</p>
+
+<p><i>The Dandy Imp goes to the right.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">THE CHIEF</span> [<i>to the Secretary</i>] I'm tired! Is there much
+business left? Whose reports have we had, and whose
+are still to come?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">THE SECRETARY</span> [<i>counts on his fingers and, as he counts,
+points to the Imps to the right. When he mentions any Imp,
+the one referred to bows</i>] We've had the Gentlefolks' Devil's
+report. He's captured 1836 in all. And the Tradesmen's
+Devil's with 9643. From the Lawyers', 3423. The Women's
+we've also just had: 186,315 married women, and 17,438
+maids. Only two Devils are left, the Officials' and the
+Peasants'. There are altogether 220,005 souls on the
+list.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> Well then, we'd better finish it all to-day. [<i>To
+the Doorkeeper</i>] Let them in!</p>
+
+<p><i>The Officials' Devil enters, and bows to the Chief.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> Well, how have you got on?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">OFFICIALS' IMP</span> [<i>laughing, and rubbing his hands</i>] My affairs
+are all right, just as soot they are white! The booty is
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_102">102</a></span>such that I don't remember anything like it since the
+creation of the world.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> What, have you captured a great many?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">OFFICIALS' IMP.</span> It's not so much the quantity. Only
+1350 men in all, but such splendid fellows! Such fellows,
+they might shame any Devil! They can embroil people
+better than we ourselves can. I've introduced a new
+fashion among them.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> What's that new fashion?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">OFFICIALS' IMP.</span> Why, in former times lawyers were in
+attendance on the judges and deceived people. Now, I've
+arranged for them to do business also apart from the judges.
+Whoever pays most, is the one to whose business they
+attend. And they'll take such trouble over it that they'll
+make out a case where there is none! They and the
+officials between them embroil people far better than we
+Devils can.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> All right. I'll have a look at them. You may
+pass on.</p>
+
+<p><i>The Officials' Imp goes to the right.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF</span> [<i>to Doorkeeper</i>] Let in the last one.</p>
+
+<p><i>Enter the Peasants' Imp with the chunk of bread. He bows
+to the ground.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANTS' IMP.</span> I can't live like this any longer! Give
+me another appointment!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> What appointment? What are you jabbering
+about? Get up and talk sense. Give in your report!
+How many peasants have you captured this week?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANTS' IMP</span> [<i>crying</i>] Not one!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> What? Not one! What do you mean? What
+have you been doing? Where have you been loafing?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANTS' IMP</span> [<i>whimpering</i>] I've not been loafing; I've
+been straining every nerve all the time, but I can't do
+anything! There now, I went and took his last crust
+from under the very nose of one of them, and, instead of
+swearing, he wished it might do me good!</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_103">103</a></span>
+<span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> What?&hellip; What?&hellip; What are you mumbling
+there? Just blow your nose, and then speak sensibly!
+One can't make head or tail of what you're saying.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANTS' IMP.</span> Why, there was a peasant ploughing;
+and I knew he had brought only a chunk of bread with
+him, and had nothing else to eat. I stole his crust. By
+rights he should have sworn; but what does he do? He
+says, &ldquo;Let him who has taken it eat it, and may it do him
+good!&rdquo; I've brought the chunk of bread away with me.
+Here it is!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> Well, and what of the others?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANTS' IMP.</span> They're all alike. I could not manage
+to take a single one.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> How dare you appear before me with empty
+hands? And as if that were not enough, you must needs
+bring some stinking crust or other here! Do you mean to
+mock me? Do you mean to live in Hell and eat the bread
+of idleness? The others do their best, and work hard!
+Why, they [<i>points to the Imps</i>] have each supplied 10,000
+or 20,000, or even 200,000. And you come with empty
+hands, and bring a miserable crust, and begin spinning
+your yarns. You chatter, but don't work; and that's why
+you've lost hold of them. But wait a bit, my friend, I'll
+teach you a thing or two!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANTS' IMP.</span> Before you punish me, listen to what I'll
+tell you. It's all very well for those other Devils, who
+have to do with gentlefolk, with merchants, or with
+women. It's all plain sailing for them! Show a nobleman
+a coronet, or a fine estate, and you've got him, and may
+lead him where you like. It's the same with a tradesman.
+Show him some money and stir up his covetousness, and
+you may lead him as with a halter. And with the women
+it's also plain sailing. Give them finery and sweets&mdash;and
+you may do what you like with them. But as to the
+peasants&mdash;there's a long row to hoe with them! When
+he's at work from morn till night&mdash;sometimes even far
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_104">104</a></span>into the night&mdash;and never starts without a thought of God,
+how's one to get at him? Master, remove me from these
+peasants! I'm tired to death of them, and have angered
+you into the bargain!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> You're humbugging, you idler! It's no use
+your talking about the others. They've got hold of the
+merchants, the nobles, and the women, because they knew
+how to treat them, and invented new traps for them! The
+official one there&mdash;he has made quite a new departure.
+You must think of something too! You've stolen a crust,
+and brag about it! What a clever thing to do! Surround
+them with snares, and they'll get caught in one or other
+of them. But loafing about as you do, and leaving the
+way open for them, those peasants of yours have gained
+strength. They begin not to care about their last crust.
+If they take to such ways, and teach their women the
+same, they'll get quite beyond us! Invent something!
+Get out of the hole as best you can.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANTS' IMP.</span> I can't think how to set about it. Let
+me off! I can stand it no longer!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF</span> [<i>angrily</i>] Can't stand it! What do you think,
+then? Am I to do your work for you?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANTS' IMP.</span> I can't!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> Can't? Wait a bit! Hollo, there! bring the
+switches; give him a thrashing.</p>
+
+<p><i>The Sentinels seize the Imp and whip him.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANTS' IMP.</span> Oh! Oh! Oh!&hellip;</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> Have you thought of something?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANTS' IMP.</span> Oh, oh, I can't!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> Give him some more. [<i>They whip</i>] Well&mdash;thought
+of something?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANTS' IMP.</span> Yes&mdash;yes, I have!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> Well, tell us what it is.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANTS' IMP.</span> I've invented a dodge that will bring
+them all into my grasp, if you'll only let me take a
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_105">105</a></span>labourer's place with that peasant. But I can't explain
+what it is beforehand.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> All right. Only remember, that if you don't
+atone for that crust within three years, I'll flay you alive!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANTS' IMP.</span> They'll all be mine in three years' time.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> All right. When the three years are past, I
+shall come and see for myself!</p>
+
+<p class="center curtain"><i>Curtain.</i></p>
+
+
+
+<div class="new-h2">&nbsp;</div>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_106">106</a></span></p>
+<h2>ACT III</h2>
+
+<p class="scene">A barn. Carts loaded with grain. The Imp as a Labourer.
+He is shovelling grain off the cart, and the Peasant is carrying
+it away in a measure.</p>
+
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> Seven!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> How many quarters?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER</span> [<i>looks at the numbers marked on the barn door</i>]
+Twenty-six quarters. And this is the seventh bushel of
+the twenty-seventh quarter.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> It won't all go in; the barn is nearly full!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> Shovel it nice and even.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> So I will.</p>
+
+<p><i>Exit with measure.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER</span> [<i>alone, takes off his cap, his horns appear</i>] It will
+be some time before he returns. I'll ease my horns a bit.
+[<i>Horns rise</i>] And I'll take my boots off too; I can't do it
+when he's here. [<i>Takes his boots off, his hoofs appear. Sits
+on the threshold</i>] It's the third year now. It's near the
+time of reckoning. There's more corn than there's room
+for. Only one more thing left to teach him, and then let
+the Chief come and see for himself. I'll have something
+worth showing him! He'll forgive me for that crust!</p>
+
+<p><i>Neighbour approaches. Labourer hides his horns and hoofs.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">NEIGHBOUR.</span> Good day to you.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> The same to you.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">NEIGHBOUR.</span> Where's your master?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> He's gone to spread the grain more even; it
+won't all go in.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">NEIGHBOUR.</span> Dear me, what a run of luck your master is
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_107">107</a></span>having! More than he has room for? We're all amazed
+at the harvests your master has had these two years. It's
+as if some one had told him what was coming. Last year
+was a dry season, and he had sown in the bog. Others had
+no harvest, but your threshing ground was covered with
+sheaves! This year we've a rainy summer, and he's been
+sharp enough to sow on the hill. Everybody's corn has
+rotted, but you have a splendid harvest. What grain!
+Ah, what grain!</p>
+
+<p><i>Takes some grain, weighs it in his hand, and chews it.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT</span> [<i>enters with empty measure</i>] How d'ye do, neighbour?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">NEIGHBOUR.</span> Good day. I was saying to your man here,
+how well you managed to guess where to sow your corn.
+Every one envies you. What heaps, what heaps of corn
+you have got! You'll not eat it all in ten years.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> It's all thanks to Nicholas here. [<i>Points to
+Labourer</i>] It was his luck. Last year I sent him to plough,
+and what did he do but plough in the bog. I gave him a
+scolding, but he persuaded me to sow there. And so I
+did, and it turned out all for the best! And this year he
+again guessed right, and sowed on the hill!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">NEIGHBOUR.</span> It's as if he knew what kind of season it
+would be. Yes, you have got corn enough and no mistake!
+[<i>Silence</i>] And I have come to ask you to lend me a sack
+of rye. Ours is all used up. I'll return it next year.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> All right, you may have it.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER</span> [<i>nudging the Peasant</i>] Don't give it!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> No more words about it. Take it.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">NEIGHBOUR.</span> Thank you. I'll just run and fetch a sack.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER</span> [<i>aside</i>] He keeps to his old ways &hellip; still
+goes on giving. He doesn't always obey me. But just
+wait a bit. He'll soon stop giving away.</p>
+
+<p><i>Exit Neighbour.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT</span> [<i>sitting down on the threshold</i>] Why should one
+not give to a good man?</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_108">108</a></span>
+<span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> Giving is one thing, getting back another!
+You know&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem" style="width: 29em;"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">&ldquo;It's a good world to lend in, a good world to spend in,<br /></span>
+<span class="i1">But to get back one's own, it's the worst world that's known.&rdquo;<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>That's what the old folk say.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> Don't worry. We've plenty of corn.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> Well, what of that?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> We've enough, not only till next harvest but
+for two years ahead. What are we to do with it all?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> What are we to do with it? I could make
+such stuff of this corn as would make you rejoice all the
+days of your life.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> Why, what would you make of it?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> A kind of drink. Drink, that would give
+you strength when you are weak, satisfy you when you
+are hungry, give you sleep when you are restless, make
+you merry when you're sad, give you courage when you're
+afraid. That's the drink I'd make!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> Rubbish!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> Rubbish indeed! It was just the same when
+I told you to sow in the bog, and then on the hill. You
+did not believe me then, but now you know! You'll
+find out about the drink the same way.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> But what will you make it of?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> Why, of this same corn.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> But won't that be a sin?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> Just hear him! Why should it be a sin?
+Everything is given for a joy to man.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> And where did you get all your wisdom from,
+Nick? You seem a very ordinary man to look at, and
+hard-working too. Why, I don't remember you so much
+as ever taking your boots off all these two years you've been
+with me. And yet you seem to know everything. Where
+did you learn it?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> I've been about a good deal!</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_109">109</a></span>
+<span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> And so you say this drink will give one
+strength?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> Just wait till you try it and see the good
+that comes of it.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> And how are we to make it?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> It's not hard to make when you know how!
+Only we shall want a copper and a couple of iron vessels.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> And does it taste nice?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> As sweet as honey. When once you've tasted
+it you'll never give it up.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> Is that so? Well, I'll go to the neighbour's;
+he used to have a copper. We'll have a try!</p>
+
+<p class="center curtain"><i><ins title="Curtain">Curtain.</ins></i></p>
+
+
+
+<div class="new-h2">&nbsp;</div>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_110">110</a></span></p>
+<h2>ACT IV</h2>
+
+<p class="scene">A barn. In the middle a closed copper on the fire, with another
+vessel, under which is a tap.</p>
+
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER</span> [<i>holds a tumbler under the tap and drinks the
+spirit</i>] Well, master, it's ready now.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT</span> [<i>sitting on his heels and looking on</i>] What a queer
+thing. Here's water coming out of the mixture. Why
+are you letting this water off first?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> It's not water. It is the very stuff itself!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> Why is it so clear? I thought it would be
+yellow like grain. This is just like water.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> But you just smell it!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> Ah, what a scent! Well, well, let's see what
+it's like in the mouth. Let me taste! [<i>Tries to take the
+tumbler out of the Labourer's hand</i>].</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> Mind, you'll spill it! [<i>Turns the tap off,
+drinks and smacks his lips</i>] It's ready! Here you are.
+Drink it!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT</span> [<i>drinks, first sipping, then taking more and more,
+till he empties the glass and gives it back</i>] Now then, some
+more. One can't tell the taste from such a drop.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER</span> [<i>laughing</i>] Well, you seem to like it! [<i>Draws
+some more</i>].</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT</span> [<i>drinks</i>] Eh, that's the sort! Let's call the
+missis. Hey, Martha! Come along! It's ready! Come
+on there!</p>
+
+<p><i>Enter Wife and little girl.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">WIFE.</span> What's the matter? Why are you kicking up
+such a row?</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_111">111</a></span>
+<span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> You just taste what we've been distilling.
+[<i>Hands her the glass</i>] Smell! What does it smell of?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">WIFE</span> [<i>smells</i>] Dear me!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> Drink!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">WIFE.</span> But perhaps it may do one some harm?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> Drink, fool!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">WIFE.</span> True. It is nice!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT</span> [<i>a little tipsy</i>] Nice indeed! You wait and see
+what'll happen. Nick says it drives all weariness out of
+one's bones. The young grow old. I mean, the old
+grow young. There now, I've only had two glasses of it,
+and all my bones have got easy. [<i>Swaggers</i>] You see?
+Wait a bit, when you and I drink it every day we'll grow
+young again! Come, Martha! [<i>Embraces her</i>].</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">WIFE.</span> Get along. Why, it's made you quite silly.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> There, you see! You said Nick and I were
+wasting the corn, but just see what stuff we've concocted.
+Eh? It's good, ain't it?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">WIFE.</span> Of course, it's good if it makes the old young
+again. Just see how jolly it has made you! And I feel
+jolly too! Now then, join in! Ah &hellip; Ah &hellip; Ah &hellip;
+[<i>Sings</i>].</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> Yes, that's the way! We'll all be young, all
+young.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">WIFE.</span> We must call mother-in-law, for she's always sad
+and grumbling. She needs renewing. When she's younger
+she'll get kinder.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT</span> [<i>tipsy</i>] Yes, call mother. Call her here, and
+grandfather too. I say, Mary, run and call your granny
+and great-grandfather. Tell him he must get down from
+the oven! We'll make him young again. Now then,
+quick! One, two, three, and away! Off like a shot!
+[<i>Girl runs off. To Wife</i>] We'll have another glass.</p>
+
+<p><i>Labourer fills and hands the glasses.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT</span> [<i>drinks</i>] At first we got young at the top, in the
+tongue; then it went down into the arms. Now it has
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_112">112</a></span>reached the feet. I feel my feet getting younger. They're
+moving of themselves. [<i>Starts dancing</i>].</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">WIFE</span> [<i>drinks</i>] You're a real clever 'un, Nick! Now then,
+strike up!</p>
+
+<p><i>Labourer takes a balal&aacute;yka<a name="FNanchor_1_1" href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> and plays. Peasant and Wife
+dance.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER</span> [<i>plays in the foreground of the scene, laughing
+and winking as he watches them. Then he leaves off playing,
+but they still continue to dance</i>] You'll pay for that crust!
+You've done it now, my fine fellows. They'll never get
+out of it. The Chief can come when he likes now!</p>
+
+<p><i>Enter a fresh-looking elderly woman, and a very old white-haired
+man, the Peasant's Grandfather.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">GRANDFATHER.</span> What's the matter? Have you gone
+mad? Dancing while every one else is at work!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">WIFE</span> [<i>dances and claps her hands</i>] Oh&mdash;Oh&mdash;Oh&mdash;
+[<i>Sings</i>]</p>
+
+<div class="poem" style="width: 14em;"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">&ldquo;That I'm sinning I will own,<br /></span>
+<span class="i1">Free from sin is God alone!&rdquo;<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">OLD WOMAN.</span> Oh, you wretch! The oven's not cleaned
+out yet, and here you are dancing!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> Wait a bit, mother. See what has been happening
+here. We can make old people young again! Here
+you are! Just drink this! [<i>Passes tumbler</i>].</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">OLD WOMAN.</span> There's plenty of water in the well. [<i>Smells
+it</i>] But what have you put in? My&mdash;what a smell!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> You just drink it.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">OLD WOMAN</span> [<i>tastes</i>] Dear me! But won't one die of it?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">WIFE.</span> It will make you more alive. You'll grow young
+again!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">OLD WOMAN.</span> Nonsense! [<i>Drinks</i>] But it's nice! Better
+than our drinks. Here, father, have some too.</p>
+
+<p><i>Grandfather sits down and shakes his head.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_113">113</a></span>
+<span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> Never mind him. But granny must have
+another glass. [<i>Hands some to the old woman</i>].</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">OLD WOMAN.</span> If only no harm comes of it. Oh dear, it
+does burn! But it is nice.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">WIFE.</span> Drink it! Then you'll feel it running through
+your veins.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">OLD WOMAN.</span> Well, I suppose I'll have to try. [<i>Drinks</i>].</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">WIFE.</span> Has it reached your feet yet?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">OLD WOMAN.</span> True enough, it does run through you. I
+feel it here now! And it really makes one feel quite
+light. Come&mdash;give me some more. [<i>Drinks again</i>] Fine!
+Now I'm quite young again.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> Didn't I tell you?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">OLD WOMAN.</span> Ah, it's a pity my old man is no longer
+here. He might have seen once more what I was like in
+my young days.</p>
+
+<p><i>Labourer plays. Peasant and Wife dance.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">OLD WOMAN</span> [<i>comes into the middle</i>] Do you call that dancing?
+Let me show you. [<i>Dances</i>] That's the way! Then
+like this, and like that! Do you see?</p>
+
+<p><i>Grandfather goes up to the vessel and lets the spirit run out
+on to the ground.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT</span> [<i>notices and rushes at his Grandfather</i>] What are
+you up to, you old fool? Spilling such fine stuff! Oh,
+you old dotard! [<i>Pushes him away and holds tumbler under
+tap</i>] You've emptied it all!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">GRANDFATHER.</span> It's evil and not good! God has sent you
+a good harvest for you to feed yourself and others, but you
+have turned the corn into devils' drink. No good will
+come of it. Give up this business. Else you'll perish and
+ruin others! You think this is drink? It's fire, and will
+burn you up! [<i>Takes a brand from the fire and lights the spilt
+spirit. The spirit burns. They all look on with horror</i>].</p>
+
+<p class="center curtain"><i>Curtain.</i></p>
+
+
+
+<div class="new-h2">&nbsp;</div>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_114">114</a></span></p>
+<h2>ACT V</h2>
+
+<p class="scene">Interior of hut. The Labourer alone, his horns and hoofs
+showing.</p>
+
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> There's lots of corn. More than there's
+room for, and he's now got a taste for it. We've been
+distilling again, and we've filled a barrel and hidden it
+away. We're not going to treat any one for nothing, but
+when we want to get something out of a fellow, then we'll
+treat him! So to-day I told him to invite the village
+elders and treat them, that they should divide up the
+property between him and his grandfather, and give
+everything to him and nothing to the old man! My three
+years are up to-day, and my work is finished. Let the
+Chief come and see for himself. I needn't be ashamed of
+his seeing it!</p>
+
+<p><i>Chief appears out of the ground.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> Time's up! Have you redeemed your bread-blunder?
+I told you I'd come and see for myself. Have
+you managed the Peasant?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> Done him completely! Judge for yourself.
+Some of them will meet here soon. Get into the oven,
+and see what they'll do. You'll be well satisfied!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF</span> [<i>climbs into the oven</i>] We'll see!</p>
+
+<p><i>Enter the Peasant and four old men. The Wife follows.
+The men sit down round the table. The Wife lays the cloth,
+sets ox-foot brawn and pies on the table. The old men exchange
+greetings with Labourer.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">FIRST ELDER.</span> Well, have you made more of the drink?</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_115">115</a></span>
+<span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> Yes, we've distilled as much as we need.
+Why let valuable stuff be wasted?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">SECOND ELDER.</span> And is it a success?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> Better than the first lot.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">SECOND ELDER.</span> But where did you learn to make it?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> Going about in the world one learns many
+things!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">THIRD ELDER.</span> Yes, yes, you're a knowing fellow.</p>
+
+<p><i>Wife brings spirits and glasses.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> Have a drop!</p>
+
+<p><i>Wife takes a decanter and fills glasses.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">WIFE.</span> Do us the honour!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">FIRST ELDER</span> [<i>drinks</i>] Your health! Ah, that's good. It
+runs right through all one's joints. That's what I call
+proper drink!</p>
+
+<p><i>The other three Elders do the same. Chief gets out of the
+oven. Labourer goes and stands by him.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER</span> [<i>to Chief</i>] See what will happen now! I'll
+trip up the woman with my foot and she'll spill the
+liquor. Formerly he did not grudge his last crust, but
+now see what he'll do about a glass of spirits!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> Now then, wife, fill again and hand it round
+in due order&mdash;first to our friend here, then to Daddy
+Michael.</p>
+
+<p><i>Wife fills a glass and goes round the table. The Labourer
+trips her up; she stumbles and upsets the glass.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">WIFE.</span> Gracious goodness, I've spilt it! Why do you
+get in my way, confound you?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT</span> [<i>to Wife</i>] There now, what a clumsy beast! Her
+fingers are all thumbs, and she goes swearing at others!
+See what fine stuff she goes spilling on the ground!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">WIFE.</span> I didn't do it on purpose.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> On purpose indeed! Wait till I get up; I'll
+teach you how to pour spirits on the ground. [<i>To Labourer</i>]
+And you too, you confounded fool, what are you prancing
+round the table for? Go to the Devil!</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_116">116</a></span>
+<i>Wife again fills and hands the glasses <ins title="round">round.</ins></i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER</span> [<i>goes back to the oven to the Chief</i>] You see?
+Formerly he did not grudge his last crust, and now for a
+glass of spirits he nearly beat his wife and sent me to you&mdash;to
+the Devil!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> It's good, very good! I'm satisfied.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> You wait a bit. Let them empty the bottle&mdash;and
+you'll see what will happen. Even now they are
+giving each other smooth oily words; presently they'll
+start flattering each other,&mdash;as cunning as foxes.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> Well, old friends, what's your opinion of my
+business? My grandfather has been living with me, and
+I have been feeding him and feeding him, and now he's
+gone to live with my uncle, and wants to take his share
+of the property and give it to uncle! Consider it well;
+you are wise men. We could as well do without our own
+heads as without you. There's no one in the whole village
+to come near you. Take you for example, Iv&aacute;n Fed&oacute;titch&mdash;doesn't
+every one say you're first among men? And
+as for me, I'll tell you the truth, Iv&aacute;n Fed&oacute;titch, I'm
+fonder of you than of my own father or mother. As for
+Michael Step&aacute;nitch, he's an old friend.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">FIRST ELDER</span> [<i>to Peasant</i>] It's good to talk with a good
+man. It's the way to get wisdom. It's just the same
+with you. One can't find any one to compare with you
+either.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">SECOND ELDER.</span> Wise and affectionate&mdash;that's what I like
+you for.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">THIRD ELDER.</span> You have my best sympathy. I can't
+find words to express it. I was saying to my old woman
+only to-day&nbsp;&hellip;</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">FOURTH ELDER.</span> A friend, a real friend!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER</span> [<i>nudges the Chief</i>] Do you hear? All lies!
+They abuse one another behind their backs, but see how
+thick they are laying it on now,&mdash;like foxes wagging their
+tails! And it all comes from that drink.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_117">117</a></span>
+<span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> That drink is good, very good! If they take to
+lying like that, they'll all be ours. Very good; I'm
+satisfied!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> Wait a bit. When they've finished a second
+bottle it will be better still!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">WIFE</span> [<i>serves</i>] Do have another glass.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">FIRST ELDER.</span> Won't it be too much? Your health!
+[<i>Drinks</i>] It's pleasant to drink in the company of a good
+man.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">SECOND ELDER.</span> How can one help drinking? Health
+to the host and hostess!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">THIRD ELDER.</span> Friends, your health!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">FOURTH ELDER.</span> This is a brew of the right sort! Let's
+be merry! We'll arrange things for you. 'Cos it all
+depends on me!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">FIRST ELDER.</span> On you? No, not on you, but on what
+your seniors say.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">FOURTH ELDER.</span> My seniors are greater fools. Go where
+you came from!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">SECOND ELDER.</span> What are you up to now? You fool!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">THIRD ELDER.</span> It's true what he's saying! 'Cos why?
+The host is not entertaining us for nothing. He means
+business. The business can be arranged. Only you must
+stand treat! Show us due respect. 'Cos it's you as wants
+me, and not I you! You're own brother to the pig!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> And you're itself! What are you yelling for?
+Think to surprise me? You are all good at stuffing
+yourselves!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">FIRST ELDER.</span> What are you giving yourself airs for?
+See if I don't twist your nose to one side!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> We'll see whose nose will get twisted!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">SECOND ELDER.</span> Think yourself such a marvel? Go to
+the Devil! I won't speak to you&mdash;I'll go away!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT</span> [<i>holds him</i>] What, will you break up the company?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">SECOND ELDER.</span> Let me go, or I'll call for help!</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_118">118</a></span>
+<span class="speaker">PEASANT.</span> I won't! What right have you to&nbsp;&hellip;?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">SECOND ELDER.</span> This right! [<i>Beats him</i>].</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT</span> [<i>to the other Elders</i>] Help me!</p>
+
+<p><i>They fall on one another, and all speak at once.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">FIRST ELDER.</span> That's why. 'Cos it means we're all having
+a spree-ee!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">SECOND ELDER.</span> I can arrange everything!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">THIRD ELDER.</span> Let's have some more!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT</span> [<i>to Wife</i>] Bring another bottle!</p>
+
+<p><i>All sit round the table again and drink.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER</span> [<i>to Chief</i>] Have you noticed? The wolf's
+blood in them was aroused, and they've turned as fierce as
+wolves.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> The drink is good! I'm satisfied!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> Wait a bit. Let them empty a third bottle.
+Things will be better still!</p>
+
+<p class="center curtain"><i><ins title="Curtain">Curtain.</ins></i></p>
+
+
+
+<div class="new-h2">&nbsp;</div>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_119">119</a></span></p>
+<h2>ACT VI</h2>
+
+<p class="scene">The scene represents a village street. To the right some old
+women are sitting on logs of wood with the Grandfather. In
+the centre, is a ring of women, girls, and lads. Dance music
+is played and they dance. Noise is heard from the hut, and
+drunken screams. An old man comes out and shouts in a tipsy
+voice. The Peasant follows him and leads him back.</p>
+
+
+<p><span class="speaker">GRANDFATHER.</span> Ah, what doings! what doings! One
+would think, what more would any one want than to do
+his work on week days, and when Sunday comes round,
+to have a good wash, clean the harness, and rest a bit and
+sit with his family; or go outside and have a talk with
+the old folk about matters concerning the Commune.
+Or, if you're young, have a game. There they are playing,&mdash;and
+it's pleasant to look at them. It's all pleasant and
+good. [<i>Screams inside the hut</i>] But this sort of thing, what
+is it? It only leads men astray, and pleases the Devils.
+And it all comes of fat living!</p>
+
+<p><i>Tipsy men come tumbling out of the hut, shout, and catch
+hold of the girls.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">GIRLS.</span> Leave off, Daddy Tom! What do you mean by it?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LADS.</span> Let's go into the lane. It's impossible to play here.</p>
+
+<p><i>Exeunt all who were playing in the ring.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">PEASANT</span> [<i>goes up to Grandfather</i>] What have you got
+now? The Elders will allot everything to me! [<i>Snaps
+his fingers at him</i>] That's what you'll get! So there you
+are! It's all mine and you've nothing! They'll tell you
+so themselves!</p>
+
+<p><i>The four Elders speak all at once.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">FIRST ELDER.</span> 'Cos I know what's what!</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_120">120</a></span>
+<span class="speaker">SECOND ELDER.</span></p>
+
+<div class="poem" style="width: 11em;"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">&ldquo;'Fore all I'll be heard,<br /></span>
+<span class="i1">'Cos I'm an old bird!&rdquo;<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">THIRD ELDER.</span> Friend! dear friend, dearest friend!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">FOURTH ELDER.</span></p>
+
+<div class="poem" style="width: 23em;"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">&ldquo;Jog along hut, jog along bed,<br /></span>
+<span class="i1">The missis has nowhere to lay down her head!&rdquo;<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>Now then, come along!</p>
+
+<p><i>The Elders take each other's arms in couples and go off
+reeling, one couple following the other. The Peasant turns
+back to the hut, but stumbles before he reaches it,&mdash;falls down,
+and lies muttering incomprehensible words that sound like grunts.
+The Grandfather and those he was with, rise and exeunt.</i></p>
+
+<p><i>Enter Labourer and Chief of Devils.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> Did you see? Now the swine's blood has
+been roused in them, and from wolves they have turned
+into swine! [<i>Points to Peasant</i>] There he lies in the dirt
+and grunts like a hog!</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> You have succeeded! First like foxes, then like
+wolves, and now like swine! Well, that is a drink! But
+tell me, how did you make it? I suppose it's made of a
+mixture of foxes', wolves', and swine's blood?</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">LABOURER.</span> Oh no! I only supplied him with too much
+corn! As long as he had only as much corn as he needed,
+he did not grudge his last crust, but when he had more
+than he knew what to do with, the fox's, the wolf's, and
+the swine's blood in him awoke. He always had beast's
+blood in him, only it could not get the upper hand.</p>
+
+<p><span class="speaker">CHIEF.</span> Well, you're a fine fellow! You've atoned for
+your crust-blunder. Now they only need to drink spirits,
+and they're altogether ours!</p>
+
+<p class="center curtain"><i>Curtain.</i></p>
+
+<p class="center" style="margin-top: 8em; font-size: 0.85em;">END OF &ldquo;THE FIRST DISTILLER.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="footnotes">
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_1" href="#FNanchor_1_1" class="label">[1]</a> The balal&aacute;yka is an instrument (generally three-stringed) used
+by Russian peasants, and answering to the negroes' banjo.</p></div>
+</div>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The First Distiller, by Leo Tolstoy
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