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diff --git a/26662-8.txt b/26662-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c19d798 --- /dev/null +++ b/26662-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1322 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The First Distiller, by Leo Tolstoy + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The First Distiller + +Author: Leo Tolstoy + +Translator: Louise Maude + Aylmer Maude + +Release Date: September 20, 2008 [EBook #26662] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FIRST DISTILLER *** + + + + +Produced by Bryan Ness, Jana Srna and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + [ Transcriber's Note: + This e-book belongs to Tolstoy's Plays (Complete Edition). The + front matter, including the table of contents, can be found in + e-book #26660; it lists the other plays in the collection. + + Every effort has been made to replicate this text as faithfully as + possible; changes (corrections of punctuation) made to the original + text are listed at the end of this file. + ] + + + + + THE FIRST DISTILLER + + A COMEDY IN SIX ACTS + + (1886) + + + + +CHARACTERS + + +A PEASANT. + + { WIFE. +HIS { MOTHER. + { GRANDFATHER. + { LITTLE DAUGHTER. + +A NEIGHBOUR. + +FOUR VILLAGE ELDERS. + +OLD WOMEN, WOMEN, GIRLS AND LADS. + + +THE CHIEF OF THE DEVILS. + +HIS SECRETARY. + +A DANDY IMP. + +THE OFFICIALS' IMP. + +THE PEASANTS' IMP. + +SENTINELS, DOORKEEPERS AND IMPS. + + + + + THE FIRST DISTILLER + + A COMEDY + + + + +ACT I + + +PEASANT [ploughing. Looks up] It's noon. Time to unharness. Gee up, get +along! Fagged out? Poor old beast! One more turn and back again, that +will be the last furrow, and then dinner. It was a good idea to bring +that chunk of bread with me. I'll not go home, but sit down by the well +and have a bite and a rest, and Peggy can graze awhile. Then, with God's +help, to work again, and the ploughing will be done in good time. + + Enter Imp; hides behind a bush. + +IMP. See what a good fellow he is! Keeps calling on God. Wait a bit, +friend,--you'll be calling on the Devil before long! I'll just take away +his chunk. He'll miss it before long, and will begin to hunt for it. +He'll be hungry, and then he'll swear and call on the Devil. + + Takes the chunk of bread and sits down behind the bush watching to + see what the Peasant will do. + +PEASANT [unharnesses the horse] With God's blessing! [Lets the horse +loose, and goes towards the place where his coat is lying] I'm awfully +hungry. The wife cut a big chunk, but see if I don't eat it all. [Coming +up to the coat] Gone! I must have put it under the coat. [Lifting the +coat] No, it's not here either! What has happened? [Shakes the coat]. + +IMP [behind the bush] Go on, go on, search away! I've got it safe! + +PEASANT [moves the plough and shakes his coat again] This is strange! +Very strange! No one was here, yet the chunk is gone! If the birds had +been at it there would be some crumbs left, but there's not a single +crumb! No one has been here, and yet some one has taken it! + +IMP [rises and looks out] Now he'll call on the Devil. + +PEASANT. Well, it seems there's no help for it! Never mind, I shan't +starve to death. If some one has taken it, he's taken it; let him eat +it, and may it do him good. + +IMP [spits] Oh, the damned peasant! Instead of swearing properly, he +only says, "May it do him good." What can one do with such a fellow? + + Peasant lies down to rest, makes the sign of the cross, yawns, and + falls asleep. + +IMP [comes out from behind the bush] It's all very well for the boss to +talk. The boss keeps on saying, "You don't bring enough peasants to +Hell! See what a lot of tradesmen, gentlefolk, and all sorts of people +flock in every day, and how few peasants!" Now, how's one to get round +this one? There's no way of getting hold of him. Haven't I stolen his +last crust? What can I do better than that? And yet he didn't swear. I'm +at my wits' end what to do! Well, I must go and report! + + Disappears into the ground. + + + Curtain. + + + + +ACT II + + Hell. The Chief of the Devils sits in the highest place. The Devil's + Secretary sits lower down, at a table with writing materials. + Sentinels stand at each side. To the right are five Imps of + different kinds. To the left, by the door, the Doorkeeper. A + dandified Imp stands before the Chief. + + +THE DANDY IMP. The whole of my booty for the three years has been +220,005 men. They're all in my power now. + +THE CHIEF. All right. Thank you. Pass on. + + The Dandy Imp goes to the right. + +THE CHIEF [to the Secretary] I'm tired! Is there much business left? +Whose reports have we had, and whose are still to come? + +THE SECRETARY [counts on his fingers and, as he counts, points to the +Imps to the right. When he mentions any Imp, the one referred to bows] +We've had the Gentlefolks' Devil's report. He's captured 1836 in all. +And the Tradesmen's Devil's with 9643. From the Lawyers', 3423. The +Women's we've also just had: 186,315 married women, and 17,438 maids. +Only two Devils are left, the Officials' and the Peasants'. There are +altogether 220,005 souls on the list. + +CHIEF. Well then, we'd better finish it all to-day. [To the Doorkeeper] +Let them in! + + The Officials' Devil enters, and bows to the Chief. + +CHIEF. Well, how have you got on? + +OFFICIALS' IMP [laughing, and rubbing his hands] My affairs are all +right, just as soot they are white! The booty is such that I don't +remember anything like it since the creation of the world. + +CHIEF. What, have you captured a great many? + +OFFICIALS' IMP. It's not so much the quantity. Only 1350 men in all, but +such splendid fellows! Such fellows, they might shame any Devil! They +can embroil people better than we ourselves can. I've introduced a new +fashion among them. + +CHIEF. What's that new fashion? + +OFFICIALS' IMP. Why, in former times lawyers were in attendance on the +judges and deceived people. Now, I've arranged for them to do business +also apart from the judges. Whoever pays most, is the one to whose +business they attend. And they'll take such trouble over it that they'll +make out a case where there is none! They and the officials between them +embroil people far better than we Devils can. + +CHIEF. All right. I'll have a look at them. You may pass on. + + The Officials' Imp goes to the right. + +CHIEF [to Doorkeeper] Let in the last one. + + Enter the Peasants' Imp with the chunk of bread. He bows to the + ground. + +PEASANTS' IMP. I can't live like this any longer! Give me another +appointment! + +CHIEF. What appointment? What are you jabbering about? Get up and talk +sense. Give in your report! How many peasants have you captured this +week? + +PEASANTS' IMP [crying] Not one! + +CHIEF. What? Not one! What do you mean? What have you been doing? Where +have you been loafing? + +PEASANTS' IMP [whimpering] I've not been loafing; I've been straining +every nerve all the time, but I can't do anything! There now, I went and +took his last crust from under the very nose of one of them, and, +instead of swearing, he wished it might do me good! + +CHIEF. What?... What?... What are you mumbling there? Just blow your +nose, and then speak sensibly! One can't make head or tail of what +you're saying. + +PEASANTS' IMP. Why, there was a peasant ploughing; and I knew he had +brought only a chunk of bread with him, and had nothing else to eat. I +stole his crust. By rights he should have sworn; but what does he do? He +says, "Let him who has taken it eat it, and may it do him good!" I've +brought the chunk of bread away with me. Here it is! + +CHIEF. Well, and what of the others? + +PEASANTS' IMP. They're all alike. I could not manage to take a single +one. + +CHIEF. How dare you appear before me with empty hands? And as if that +were not enough, you must needs bring some stinking crust or other here! +Do you mean to mock me? Do you mean to live in Hell and eat the bread of +idleness? The others do their best, and work hard! Why, they [points to +the Imps] have each supplied 10,000 or 20,000, or even 200,000. And you +come with empty hands, and bring a miserable crust, and begin spinning +your yarns. You chatter, but don't work; and that's why you've lost hold +of them. But wait a bit, my friend, I'll teach you a thing or two! + +PEASANTS' IMP. Before you punish me, listen to what I'll tell you. It's +all very well for those other Devils, who have to do with gentlefolk, +with merchants, or with women. It's all plain sailing for them! Show a +nobleman a coronet, or a fine estate, and you've got him, and may lead +him where you like. It's the same with a tradesman. Show him some money +and stir up his covetousness, and you may lead him as with a halter. And +with the women it's also plain sailing. Give them finery and sweets--and +you may do what you like with them. But as to the peasants--there's a +long row to hoe with them! When he's at work from morn till +night--sometimes even far into the night--and never starts without a +thought of God, how's one to get at him? Master, remove me from these +peasants! I'm tired to death of them, and have angered you into the +bargain! + +CHIEF. You're humbugging, you idler! It's no use your talking about the +others. They've got hold of the merchants, the nobles, and the women, +because they knew how to treat them, and invented new traps for them! +The official one there--he has made quite a new departure. You must +think of something too! You've stolen a crust, and brag about it! What a +clever thing to do! Surround them with snares, and they'll get caught in +one or other of them. But loafing about as you do, and leaving the way +open for them, those peasants of yours have gained strength. They begin +not to care about their last crust. If they take to such ways, and teach +their women the same, they'll get quite beyond us! Invent something! Get +out of the hole as best you can. + +PEASANTS' IMP. I can't think how to set about it. Let me off! I can +stand it no longer! + +CHIEF [angrily] Can't stand it! What do you think, then? Am I to do your +work for you? + +PEASANTS' IMP. I can't! + +CHIEF. Can't? Wait a bit! Hollo, there! bring the switches; give him a +thrashing. + + The Sentinels seize the Imp and whip him. + +PEASANTS' IMP. Oh! Oh! Oh!... + +CHIEF. Have you thought of something? + +PEASANTS' IMP. Oh, oh, I can't! + +CHIEF. Give him some more. [They whip] Well--thought of something? + +PEASANTS' IMP. Yes--yes, I have! + +CHIEF. Well, tell us what it is. + +PEASANTS' IMP. I've invented a dodge that will bring them all into my +grasp, if you'll only let me take a labourer's place with that peasant. +But I can't explain what it is beforehand. + +CHIEF. All right. Only remember, that if you don't atone for that crust +within three years, I'll flay you alive! + +PEASANTS' IMP. They'll all be mine in three years' time. + +CHIEF. All right. When the three years are past, I shall come and see +for myself! + + + Curtain. + + + + +ACT III + + A barn. Carts loaded with grain. The Imp as a Labourer. He is + shovelling grain off the cart, and the Peasant is carrying it away + in a measure. + + +LABOURER. Seven! + +PEASANT. How many quarters? + +LABOURER [looks at the numbers marked on the barn door] Twenty-six +quarters. And this is the seventh bushel of the twenty-seventh quarter. + +PEASANT. It won't all go in; the barn is nearly full! + +LABOURER. Shovel it nice and even. + +PEASANT. So I will. + + Exit with measure. + +LABOURER [alone, takes off his cap, his horns appear] It will be some +time before he returns. I'll ease my horns a bit. [Horns rise] And I'll +take my boots off too; I can't do it when he's here. [Takes his boots +off, his hoofs appear. Sits on the threshold] It's the third year now. +It's near the time of reckoning. There's more corn than there's room +for. Only one more thing left to teach him, and then let the Chief come +and see for himself. I'll have something worth showing him! He'll +forgive me for that crust! + + Neighbour approaches. Labourer hides his horns and hoofs. + +NEIGHBOUR. Good day to you. + +LABOURER. The same to you. + +NEIGHBOUR. Where's your master? + +LABOURER. He's gone to spread the grain more even; it won't all go in. + +NEIGHBOUR. Dear me, what a run of luck your master is having! More than +he has room for? We're all amazed at the harvests your master has had +these two years. It's as if some one had told him what was coming. Last +year was a dry season, and he had sown in the bog. Others had no +harvest, but your threshing ground was covered with sheaves! This year +we've a rainy summer, and he's been sharp enough to sow on the hill. +Everybody's corn has rotted, but you have a splendid harvest. What +grain! Ah, what grain! + + Takes some grain, weighs it in his hand, and chews it. + +PEASANT [enters with empty measure] How d'ye do, neighbour? + +NEIGHBOUR. Good day. I was saying to your man here, how well you managed +to guess where to sow your corn. Every one envies you. What heaps, what +heaps of corn you have got! You'll not eat it all in ten years. + +PEASANT. It's all thanks to Nicholas here. [Points to Labourer] It was +his luck. Last year I sent him to plough, and what did he do but plough +in the bog. I gave him a scolding, but he persuaded me to sow there. And +so I did, and it turned out all for the best! And this year he again +guessed right, and sowed on the hill! + +NEIGHBOUR. It's as if he knew what kind of season it would be. Yes, you +have got corn enough and no mistake! [Silence] And I have come to ask +you to lend me a sack of rye. Ours is all used up. I'll return it next +year. + +PEASANT. All right, you may have it. + +LABOURER [nudging the Peasant] Don't give it! + +PEASANT. No more words about it. Take it. + +NEIGHBOUR. Thank you. I'll just run and fetch a sack. + +LABOURER [aside] He keeps to his old ways ... still goes on giving. He +doesn't always obey me. But just wait a bit. He'll soon stop giving +away. + + Exit Neighbour. + +PEASANT [sitting down on the threshold] Why should one not give to a +good man? + +LABOURER. Giving is one thing, getting back another! You know-- + + "It's a good world to lend in, a good world to spend in, + But to get back one's own, it's the worst world that's known." + +That's what the old folk say. + +PEASANT. Don't worry. We've plenty of corn. + +LABOURER. Well, what of that? + +PEASANT. We've enough, not only till next harvest but for two years +ahead. What are we to do with it all? + +LABOURER. What are we to do with it? I could make such stuff of this +corn as would make you rejoice all the days of your life. + +PEASANT. Why, what would you make of it? + +LABOURER. A kind of drink. Drink, that would give you strength when you +are weak, satisfy you when you are hungry, give you sleep when you are +restless, make you merry when you're sad, give you courage when you're +afraid. That's the drink I'd make! + +PEASANT. Rubbish! + +LABOURER. Rubbish indeed! It was just the same when I told you to sow in +the bog, and then on the hill. You did not believe me then, but now you +know! You'll find out about the drink the same way. + +PEASANT. But what will you make it of? + +LABOURER. Why, of this same corn. + +PEASANT. But won't that be a sin? + +LABOURER. Just hear him! Why should it be a sin? Everything is given for +a joy to man. + +PEASANT. And where did you get all your wisdom from, Nick? You seem a +very ordinary man to look at, and hard-working too. Why, I don't +remember you so much as ever taking your boots off all these two years +you've been with me. And yet you seem to know everything. Where did you +learn it? + +LABOURER. I've been about a good deal! + +PEASANT. And so you say this drink will give one strength? + +LABOURER. Just wait till you try it and see the good that comes of it. + +PEASANT. And how are we to make it? + +LABOURER. It's not hard to make when you know how! Only we shall want a +copper and a couple of iron vessels. + +PEASANT. And does it taste nice? + +LABOURER. As sweet as honey. When once you've tasted it you'll never +give it up. + +PEASANT. Is that so? Well, I'll go to the neighbour's; he used to have a +copper. We'll have a try! + + + Curtain. + + + + +ACT IV + + A barn. In the middle a closed copper on the fire, with another + vessel, under which is a tap. + + +LABOURER [holds a tumbler under the tap and drinks the spirit] Well, +master, it's ready now. + +PEASANT [sitting on his heels and looking on] What a queer thing. Here's +water coming out of the mixture. Why are you letting this water off +first? + +LABOURER. It's not water. It is the very stuff itself! + +PEASANT. Why is it so clear? I thought it would be yellow like grain. +This is just like water. + +LABOURER. But you just smell it! + +PEASANT. Ah, what a scent! Well, well, let's see what it's like in the +mouth. Let me taste! [Tries to take the tumbler out of the Labourer's +hand]. + +LABOURER. Mind, you'll spill it! [Turns the tap off, drinks and smacks +his lips] It's ready! Here you are. Drink it! + +PEASANT [drinks, first sipping, then taking more and more, till he +empties the glass and gives it back] Now then, some more. One can't tell +the taste from such a drop. + +LABOURER [laughing] Well, you seem to like it! [Draws some more]. + +PEASANT [drinks] Eh, that's the sort! Let's call the missis. Hey, +Martha! Come along! It's ready! Come on there! + + Enter Wife and little girl. + +WIFE. What's the matter? Why are you kicking up such a row? + +PEASANT. You just taste what we've been distilling. [Hands her the +glass] Smell! What does it smell of? + +WIFE [smells] Dear me! + +PEASANT. Drink! + +WIFE. But perhaps it may do one some harm? + +PEASANT. Drink, fool! + +WIFE. True. It is nice! + +PEASANT [a little tipsy] Nice indeed! You wait and see what'll happen. +Nick says it drives all weariness out of one's bones. The young grow +old. I mean, the old grow young. There now, I've only had two glasses of +it, and all my bones have got easy. [Swaggers] You see? Wait a bit, when +you and I drink it every day we'll grow young again! Come, Martha! +[Embraces her]. + +WIFE. Get along. Why, it's made you quite silly. + +PEASANT. There, you see! You said Nick and I were wasting the corn, but +just see what stuff we've concocted. Eh? It's good, ain't it? + +WIFE. Of course, it's good if it makes the old young again. Just see how +jolly it has made you! And I feel jolly too! Now then, join in! Ah ... +Ah ... Ah ... [Sings]. + +PEASANT. Yes, that's the way! We'll all be young, all young. + +WIFE. We must call mother-in-law, for she's always sad and grumbling. +She needs renewing. When she's younger she'll get kinder. + +PEASANT [tipsy] Yes, call mother. Call her here, and grandfather too. I +say, Mary, run and call your granny and great-grandfather. Tell him he +must get down from the oven! We'll make him young again. Now then, +quick! One, two, three, and away! Off like a shot! [Girl runs off. To +Wife] We'll have another glass. + + Labourer fills and hands the glasses. + +PEASANT [drinks] At first we got young at the top, in the tongue; then +it went down into the arms. Now it has reached the feet. I feel my feet +getting younger. They're moving of themselves. [Starts dancing]. + +WIFE [drinks] You're a real clever 'un, Nick! Now then, strike up! + + Labourer takes a balaláyka[1] and plays. Peasant and Wife dance. + + [1] The balaláyka is an instrument (generally three-stringed) used by + Russian peasants, and answering to the negroes' banjo. + +LABOURER [plays in the foreground of the scene, laughing and winking as +he watches them. Then he leaves off playing, but they still continue to +dance] You'll pay for that crust! You've done it now, my fine fellows. +They'll never get out of it. The Chief can come when he likes now! + + Enter a fresh-looking elderly woman, and a very old white-haired + man, the Peasant's Grandfather. + +GRANDFATHER. What's the matter? Have you gone mad? Dancing while every +one else is at work! + +WIFE [dances and claps her hands] Oh--Oh--Oh-- [Sings] + + "That I'm sinning I will own, + Free from sin is God alone!" + +OLD WOMAN. Oh, you wretch! The oven's not cleaned out yet, and here you +are dancing! + +PEASANT. Wait a bit, mother. See what has been happening here. We can +make old people young again! Here you are! Just drink this! [Passes +tumbler]. + +OLD WOMAN. There's plenty of water in the well. [Smells it] But what +have you put in? My--what a smell! + +PEASANT. You just drink it. + +OLD WOMAN [tastes] Dear me! But won't one die of it? + +WIFE. It will make you more alive. You'll grow young again! + +OLD WOMAN. Nonsense! [Drinks] But it's nice! Better than our drinks. +Here, father, have some too. + + Grandfather sits down and shakes his head. + +LABOURER. Never mind him. But granny must have another glass. [Hands +some to the old woman]. + +OLD WOMAN. If only no harm comes of it. Oh dear, it does burn! But it is +nice. + +WIFE. Drink it! Then you'll feel it running through your veins. + +OLD WOMAN. Well, I suppose I'll have to try. [Drinks]. + +WIFE. Has it reached your feet yet? + +OLD WOMAN. True enough, it does run through you. I feel it here now! And +it really makes one feel quite light. Come--give me some more. [Drinks +again] Fine! Now I'm quite young again. + +PEASANT. Didn't I tell you? + +OLD WOMAN. Ah, it's a pity my old man is no longer here. He might have +seen once more what I was like in my young days. + + Labourer plays. Peasant and Wife dance. + +OLD WOMAN [comes into the middle] Do you call that dancing? Let me show +you. [Dances] That's the way! Then like this, and like that! Do you see? + + Grandfather goes up to the vessel and lets the spirit run out on to + the ground. + +PEASANT [notices and rushes at his Grandfather] What are you up to, you +old fool? Spilling such fine stuff! Oh, you old dotard! [Pushes him away +and holds tumbler under tap] You've emptied it all! + +GRANDFATHER. It's evil and not good! God has sent you a good harvest for +you to feed yourself and others, but you have turned the corn into +devils' drink. No good will come of it. Give up this business. Else +you'll perish and ruin others! You think this is drink? It's fire, and +will burn you up! [Takes a brand from the fire and lights the spilt +spirit. The spirit burns. They all look on with horror]. + + + Curtain. + + + + +ACT V + + Interior of hut. The Labourer alone, his horns and hoofs showing. + + +LABOURER. There's lots of corn. More than there's room for, and he's now +got a taste for it. We've been distilling again, and we've filled a +barrel and hidden it away. We're not going to treat any one for nothing, +but when we want to get something out of a fellow, then we'll treat him! +So to-day I told him to invite the village elders and treat them, that +they should divide up the property between him and his grandfather, and +give everything to him and nothing to the old man! My three years are up +to-day, and my work is finished. Let the Chief come and see for himself. +I needn't be ashamed of his seeing it! + + Chief appears out of the ground. + +CHIEF. Time's up! Have you redeemed your bread-blunder? I told you I'd +come and see for myself. Have you managed the Peasant? + +LABOURER. Done him completely! Judge for yourself. Some of them will +meet here soon. Get into the oven, and see what they'll do. You'll be +well satisfied! + +CHIEF [climbs into the oven] We'll see! + + Enter the Peasant and four old men. The Wife follows. The men sit + down round the table. The Wife lays the cloth, sets ox-foot brawn + and pies on the table. The old men exchange greetings with Labourer. + +FIRST ELDER. Well, have you made more of the drink? + +LABOURER. Yes, we've distilled as much as we need. Why let valuable +stuff be wasted? + +SECOND ELDER. And is it a success? + +LABOURER. Better than the first lot. + +SECOND ELDER. But where did you learn to make it? + +LABOURER. Going about in the world one learns many things! + +THIRD ELDER. Yes, yes, you're a knowing fellow. + + Wife brings spirits and glasses. + +PEASANT. Have a drop! + + Wife takes a decanter and fills glasses. + +WIFE. Do us the honour! + +FIRST ELDER [drinks] Your health! Ah, that's good. It runs right through +all one's joints. That's what I call proper drink! + + The other three Elders do the same. Chief gets out of the oven. + Labourer goes and stands by him. + +LABOURER [to Chief] See what will happen now! I'll trip up the woman +with my foot and she'll spill the liquor. Formerly he did not grudge his +last crust, but now see what he'll do about a glass of spirits! + +PEASANT. Now then, wife, fill again and hand it round in due +order--first to our friend here, then to Daddy Michael. + + Wife fills a glass and goes round the table. The Labourer trips her + up; she stumbles and upsets the glass. + +WIFE. Gracious goodness, I've spilt it! Why do you get in my way, +confound you? + +PEASANT [to Wife] There now, what a clumsy beast! Her fingers are all +thumbs, and she goes swearing at others! See what fine stuff she goes +spilling on the ground! + +WIFE. I didn't do it on purpose. + +PEASANT. On purpose indeed! Wait till I get up; I'll teach you how to +pour spirits on the ground. [To Labourer] And you too, you confounded +fool, what are you prancing round the table for? Go to the Devil! + + Wife again fills and hands the glasses round. + +LABOURER [goes back to the oven to the Chief] You see? Formerly he did +not grudge his last crust, and now for a glass of spirits he nearly beat +his wife and sent me to you--to the Devil! + +CHIEF. It's good, very good! I'm satisfied. + +LABOURER. You wait a bit. Let them empty the bottle--and you'll see what +will happen. Even now they are giving each other smooth oily words; +presently they'll start flattering each other,--as cunning as foxes. + +PEASANT. Well, old friends, what's your opinion of my business? My +grandfather has been living with me, and I have been feeding him and +feeding him, and now he's gone to live with my uncle, and wants to take +his share of the property and give it to uncle! Consider it well; you +are wise men. We could as well do without our own heads as without you. +There's no one in the whole village to come near you. Take you for +example, Iván Fedótitch--doesn't every one say you're first among men? +And as for me, I'll tell you the truth, Iván Fedótitch, I'm fonder of +you than of my own father or mother. As for Michael Stepánitch, he's an +old friend. + +FIRST ELDER [to Peasant] It's good to talk with a good man. It's the way +to get wisdom. It's just the same with you. One can't find any one to +compare with you either. + +SECOND ELDER. Wise and affectionate--that's what I like you for. + +THIRD ELDER. You have my best sympathy. I can't find words to express +it. I was saying to my old woman only to-day ... + +FOURTH ELDER. A friend, a real friend! + +LABOURER [nudges the Chief] Do you hear? All lies! They abuse one +another behind their backs, but see how thick they are laying it on +now,--like foxes wagging their tails! And it all comes from that drink. + +CHIEF. That drink is good, very good! If they take to lying like that, +they'll all be ours. Very good; I'm satisfied! + +LABOURER. Wait a bit. When they've finished a second bottle it will be +better still! + +WIFE [serves] Do have another glass. + +FIRST ELDER. Won't it be too much? Your health! [Drinks] It's pleasant +to drink in the company of a good man. + +SECOND ELDER. How can one help drinking? Health to the host and hostess! + +THIRD ELDER. Friends, your health! + +FOURTH ELDER. This is a brew of the right sort! Let's be merry! We'll +arrange things for you. 'Cos it all depends on me! + +FIRST ELDER. On you? No, not on you, but on what your seniors say. + +FOURTH ELDER. My seniors are greater fools. Go where you came from! + +SECOND ELDER. What are you up to now? You fool! + +THIRD ELDER. It's true what he's saying! 'Cos why? The host is not +entertaining us for nothing. He means business. The business can be +arranged. Only you must stand treat! Show us due respect. 'Cos it's you +as wants me, and not I you! You're own brother to the pig! + +PEASANT. And you're itself! What are you yelling for? Think to surprise +me? You are all good at stuffing yourselves! + +FIRST ELDER. What are you giving yourself airs for? See if I don't twist +your nose to one side! + +PEASANT. We'll see whose nose will get twisted! + +SECOND ELDER. Think yourself such a marvel? Go to the Devil! I won't +speak to you--I'll go away! + +PEASANT [holds him] What, will you break up the company? + +SECOND ELDER. Let me go, or I'll call for help! + +PEASANT. I won't! What right have you to ...? + +SECOND ELDER. This right! [Beats him]. + +PEASANT [to the other Elders] Help me! + + They fall on one another, and all speak at once. + +FIRST ELDER. That's why. 'Cos it means we're all having a spree-ee! + +SECOND ELDER. I can arrange everything! + +THIRD ELDER. Let's have some more! + +PEASANT [to Wife] Bring another bottle! + + All sit round the table again and drink. + +LABOURER [to Chief] Have you noticed? The wolf's blood in them was +aroused, and they've turned as fierce as wolves. + +CHIEF. The drink is good! I'm satisfied! + +LABOURER. Wait a bit. Let them empty a third bottle. Things will be +better still! + + + Curtain. + + + + +ACT VI + + The scene represents a village street. To the right some old women + are sitting on logs of wood with the Grandfather. In the centre, is + a ring of women, girls, and lads. Dance music is played and they + dance. Noise is heard from the hut, and drunken screams. An old man + comes out and shouts in a tipsy voice. The Peasant follows him and + leads him back. + + +GRANDFATHER. Ah, what doings! what doings! One would think, what more +would any one want than to do his work on week days, and when Sunday +comes round, to have a good wash, clean the harness, and rest a bit and +sit with his family; or go outside and have a talk with the old folk +about matters concerning the Commune. Or, if you're young, have a game. +There they are playing,--and it's pleasant to look at them. It's all +pleasant and good. [Screams inside the hut] But this sort of thing, what +is it? It only leads men astray, and pleases the Devils. And it all +comes of fat living! + + Tipsy men come tumbling out of the hut, shout, and catch hold of the + girls. + +GIRLS. Leave off, Daddy Tom! What do you mean by it? + +LADS. Let's go into the lane. It's impossible to play here. + + Exeunt all who were playing in the ring. + +PEASANT [goes up to Grandfather] What have you got now? The Elders will +allot everything to me! [Snaps his fingers at him] That's what you'll +get! So there you are! It's all mine and you've nothing! They'll tell +you so themselves! + + The four Elders speak all at once. + +FIRST ELDER. 'Cos I know what's what! + +SECOND ELDER. + + "'Fore all I'll be heard, + 'Cos I'm an old bird!" + +THIRD ELDER. Friend! dear friend, dearest friend! + +FOURTH ELDER. + + "Jog along hut, jog along bed, + The missis has nowhere to lay down her head!" + +Now then, come along! + + The Elders take each other's arms in couples and go off reeling, one + couple following the other. The Peasant turns back to the hut, but + stumbles before he reaches it,--falls down, and lies muttering + incomprehensible words that sound like grunts. The Grandfather and + those he was with, rise and exeunt. + + Enter Labourer and Chief of Devils. + +LABOURER. Did you see? Now the swine's blood has been roused in them, +and from wolves they have turned into swine! [Points to Peasant] There +he lies in the dirt and grunts like a hog! + +CHIEF. You have succeeded! First like foxes, then like wolves, and now +like swine! Well, that is a drink! But tell me, how did you make it? I +suppose it's made of a mixture of foxes', wolves', and swine's blood? + +LABOURER. Oh no! I only supplied him with too much corn! As long as he +had only as much corn as he needed, he did not grudge his last crust, +but when he had more than he knew what to do with, the fox's, the +wolf's, and the swine's blood in him awoke. He always had beast's blood +in him, only it could not get the upper hand. + +CHIEF. Well, you're a fine fellow! You've atoned for your crust-blunder. +Now they only need to drink spirits, and they're altogether ours! + + + Curtain. + + + END OF "THE FIRST DISTILLER." + + + + +[ Transcriber's Note: + + The following is a list of corrections made to the original. The first + line is the original line, the second the corrected one. + + Curtain [at the ends of Acts III and V] + Curtain. + + Wife again fills and hands the glasses round + Wife again fills and hands the glasses round. +] + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The First Distiller, by Leo Tolstoy + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FIRST DISTILLER *** + +***** This file should be named 26662-8.txt or 26662-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/6/6/6/26662/ + +Produced by Bryan Ness, Jana Srna and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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