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diff --git a/26669-h/26669-h.htm b/26669-h/26669-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..93c56c0 --- /dev/null +++ b/26669-h/26669-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,8660 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Strange Adventures of Captain Dangerous, Vol. III, by George Augustus Sala. + </title> + <style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[ XML blockout */ +<!-- + p {margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + text-indent: 1.25em; + margin-bottom: .75em; + } + img {border: 0;} + .tnote {border: dashed 1px; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; padding-bottom: .5em; padding-top: .5em; + padding-left: .5em; padding-right: .5em;} + ins {text-decoration:none; border-bottom: thin dotted gray;} + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; + } + hr { width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; + } + + table {margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} + + body{margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + } + + .pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ + /* visibility: hidden; */ + position: absolute; + left: 92%; + font-size: smaller; + text-align: right; + } /* page numbers */ + .copyright {text-align: center; font-size: 70%;} + .blockquot{margin-left: 5%; margin-right: 10%; text-align: justify;} + + .bbox {border: solid 2px; margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; padding-bottom: .5em; padding-top: .5em; + padding-left: .5em; padding-right: .5em;} + + .center {text-align: center;} + .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + + .caption {font-weight: bold;} + + .figcenter {margin: auto; text-align: center;} + + .figleft {float: left; clear: left; margin-left: 0; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: + 1em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 0; text-align: center;} + + .figright {float: right; clear: right; margin-left: 1em; margin-bottom: 1em; + margin-top: 1em; margin-right: 0; padding: 0; text-align: center;} + + .unindent {margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; + } + .right {text-align: right;} + .poem {margin-left: 30%; margin-right: 10%; text-align: left;} + .poem2 {margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 10%; text-align: left;} + .sig {margin-right: 10%; text-align: right;} + .u {text-decoration: underline;} + .linenum {position: absolute; top: auto; left: 4%;} /* poetry number */ + .sidenote {width: 20%; padding-bottom: .5em; padding-top: .5em; + padding-left: .5em; padding-right: .5em; margin-left: 1em; + float: right; clear: right; margin-top: 1em; + font-size: smaller; color: black; background: #eeeeee; border: dashed 1px;} + + .footnotes {border: dashed 1px;} + .footnote {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;} + .fnanchor {vertical-align:baseline; + position: relative; + bottom: 0.33em; + font-size: .8em; + text-decoration: none;} + .hang1 {text-indent: -3em; margin-left: 3em;} + // --> + /* XML end ]]>*/ + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Strange Adventures of Captain +Dangerous, Vol. 3 of 3, by George Augustus Sala + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Strange Adventures of Captain Dangerous, Vol. 3 of 3 + Who was a sailor, a soldier, a merchant, a spy, a slave + among the moors... + +Author: George Augustus Sala + +Release Date: September 19, 2008 [EBook #26669] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CAPTAIN DANGEROUS, VOL. 3 OF 3 *** + + + + +Produced by Robert Cicconetti, Emmy and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This +book was produced from scanned images of public domain +material from the Google Print project.) + + + + + + +</pre> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_i" id="Page_i">[i]</a></span></p> + + + + +<h2>THE STRANGE ADVENTURES</h2> + +<h3>OF</h3> + +<h1>CAPTAIN DANGEROUS:</h1> + +<h3> +WHO WAS A SOLDIER, A SAILOR, A MERCHANT, A SPY, A SLAVE<br /> +AMONG THE MOORS, A BASHAW IN THE SERVICE<br /> +OF THE GRAND TURK,<br /> +<br /> +AND<br /> +<br /> +<b>Died at last in his own House in Hanover Square.</b><br /></h3> +<div class='center'><br /><br /><br /> +A NARRATIVE IN OLD-FASHIONED ENGLISH.<br /> +<br /> +ATTEMPTED BY<br /></div> +<h2>GEORGE AUGUSTUS SALA.</h2> +<div class='center'><br /><br /> +<br /> +IN THREE VOLUMES.<br /> +<br /> +VOL. III.<br /> +<br /> +<br /><br /><br /> +LONDON:<br /> +TINSLEY BROTHERS, 18, CATHERINE STREET, STRAND.<br /> +1863.<br /> +<br /> +[<small><i>The right of Translation is reserved.</i></small>]<br /></div> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii" id="Page_ii">[ii]</a></span></p> + + + + +<div class='copyright'> +LONDON:<br /> +SAVILL AND EDWARDS, PRINTERS, CHANDOS STREET,<br /> +COVENT GARDEN.<br /></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_iii" id="Page_iii">[iii]</a></span></p> + +<h2>CONTENTS OF VOL. III.</h2> + + + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align='left'> </td><td align='right'><small>PAGE</small></td></tr> +<tr><td align='center' colspan='2'>CHAPTER THE FIRST.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>I SEE MUCH OF THE INSIDE OF THE WORLD, AND THEN GO RIGHT ROUND IT</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_1">1</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='center' colspan='2'><br /> THE SECOND.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>MERCATOR, HIS PROJECTION, AND WHAT CAME OF IT</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_44">44</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='center' colspan='2'><br /> THE THIRD.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>THE CONTINUATION OF MY VOYAGE UNTIL MY RETURN AGAIN TO EUROPE</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_71">71</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='center' colspan='2'><br /> THE FOURTH.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>OF THE SINGULAR MISFORTUNES WHICH BEFELL ME IN HOLLAND</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_115">115</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='center' colspan='2'><br /> THE FIFTH.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>OF A STRANGE AND HORRIBLE ADVENTURE I HAD IN PARIS, WHICH WAS NEARLY MY UNDOING</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_154">154</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='center' colspan='2'><br /> THE SIXTH.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_iv" id="Page_iv">[iv]</a></span>OF MY SECRET EMPLOYMENT IN THE SERVICE OF THE CARDINAL DE ——</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_181">181</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='center' colspan='2'><br /> THE SEVENTH.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>I FALL INTO THE HANDS OF RECREANT PAYNIMS, AND AM REDUCED TO A STATE OF MISERABLE SLAVERY</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_196">196</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='center' colspan='2'><br /> THE EIGHTH.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>AFTER MANY SURPRISING VICISSITUDES, J. DANGEROUS BECOMES BESTUSCHID BASHAW</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_230">230</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align='center' colspan='2'><br /> THE NINTH AND LAST.</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>OF MY SERVICE UNDER THE GREAT TURK AS A BASHAW; OF MY ADVENTURES IN RUSSIA AND OTHER COUNTRIES; AND OF MY COMING HOME AT LAST AND BUYING MY GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE (WHICH IS NOW MINE) IN HANOVER SQUARE.</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_272">272</a></td></tr> +</table></div> + + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[1]</a></span></p> +<h3>THE STRANGE ADVENTURES</h3> + +<h4>OF</h4> + +<h2>CAPTAIN DANGEROUS.</h2> + +<div class='center'><b>A Narrative in Old fashioned English.</b></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER THE FIRST.</h2> + +<h3>I SEE MUCH OF THE INSIDE OF THE WORLD, AND THEN +GO RIGHT ROUND IT.</h3> + + +<p>1748. I was not yet Forty years of age, +Hale and Stout, Comely enough,—so said +Mistress Prue and many other damsels,—with +a Military Education, an approved reputation +for Valour, and very little else +besides. A gentleman at large, with a +purse well-nigh as slender as an ell-wand, +and as wobegone as a dried eel-skin. But +I was never one that wanted many Superfluities; +and having no Friends in the +world, was of a most Contented Disposition.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[2]</a></span></p> + +<p>Some trouble, indeed, must I have with +that luckless Mistress Prue, the Waiting-Maid—sure, +I did the girl no Harm, beyond +whispering a little soft nonsense in her ear +now and then. But she must needs have +a succession of Hysterical Fits after my +departure from the Tower, and write me +many scores of Letters couched in the most +Lamentable Rigmarole, threatening to throw +herself into Rosamond's Pond in St. James's +Park (then a favourite Drowning-Place for +Disconsolate Lovers), with many other nonsensical +Menaces. But I was firm to my +Determination to do her no harm, and +therefore carefully abstained from answering +any of her letters. She did not break +her heart; but (being resolved to wed one +that wore the King's cloth) she married +Miles Bandolier about three months after +my Departure, and broke his head, ere the +Honeymoon was over, with a Bed-staff. A +most frivolous Quean this, and I well rid +of her.</p> + +<p>Coming out of the Tower, I took lodgings +for a season in Great Ryder Street, St.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[3]</a></span> +James's, and set up for a Person of Pleasure. +There were many Military Officers of my +Acquaintance who honoured me with their +company over a Bottle, for even as a Tower +Warder I had been a kind of a Gentleman, +and there was no treating me as one of +base Degree. They laughed somewhat at +my Brevet rank of Captain, and sometimes +twitted me as to what Regiment I was in; +but I let them laugh, so long as they did +not go too far, when I would most assuredly +have shown them, by the length of my Blade, +not only what Regiment I belonged to, but +what Mettle I was of. By favour of some +of my Martial Friends, I was introduced to +a favourite Coffee-House, the "Ramilies," +in Jermyn Street ('tis Slaughter's, in St. +Martin's Lane, now, that the Soldier-Officers +do most use); and there we had +many a pleasant Carouse, and, moreover, +many a good game at cards; at the which, +thanks to the tuition of Mr. Hodge, when +I was in Mr. Pinchin's service, I was a +passable adept, being able to hold my own +and More, in almost every Game that is to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[4]</a></span> +be found in Hoyle. And so our card-playing +did result, not only to mutual +pleasure, but to my especial Profit; for I was +very lucky. But I declare that I always +played fair; and if any man doubted the +strict probity of my proceeding, there was +then, as there is now, my Sword to vindicate +my Honour.</p> + +<p>'Tis ill-living, however, on Gambling. +Somehow or another the Money you win +at Cards—I would never touch Dice, which +are too chancy, liable to be Sophisticated, +and, besides, sure to lead to Brawling, +Stabbing, and cracking of Crowns—this +Money, gotten over Old Nick's back, I say, +never seems to do a Man any Good. 'Tis +light come, and light go; and the Store of +Gold Pieces that glitter so bravely when +you sweep them off the green cloth seems, +in a couple of days afterwards, to have +turned to dry leaves, like the Magician's +in the Fairy Tale. Excepting Major +Panton, who built the Street and the +Square which bear his name out of One +Night's Profit at the Pharoah table, can<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span> +you tell me of one habitual Gambler who +has been able to realise anything substantial +out of his Winnings? No, no; a Hand at +Cards is all very well, and 'tis pleasant to +win enough to pay one's Reckoning, give a +Supper to the Loser, and have a Frisk upon +Town afterwards; but I do abhor your +steady, systematic Gamblers, with their +restless eyes, quivering lips, hair bristling +under their wigs, and twitching fingers, as +they watch the Game. Of course, when +Cards are played, you must play for Money. +As to playing for Love, I would as soon +play for nutshells or cheese-parings. But +the whole business is too feverish and exciting +for a Man of warm temperament. +'Tis killing work when your Bed and Raiment, +your Dinner and your Flask, depend +on the turn up of a card. And so I very +speedily abandoned this line of life.</p> + +<p>'Twas necessary, nevertheless, for something +to be done to bring Grist to the Mill. +About this time it was a very common +practice for Great Noblemen—notably those +who were in any way addicted to pleasure,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span> +and ours was a mighty Gay Nobility thirty +or forty years since—to entertain Men of +Honour, Daring, and Ability, cunning in the +use of their Swords, and exceedingly discreet +in their conversations, to attend them upon +their private affairs, and render to them +Services of a kind that required Secrecy as +well as Courage. One or two Duels in +Hyde Park and behind Montagu House, +in which I had the honour to be concerned +as Second,—and in one of which I engaged +the Second of my Patron's Adversary, and +succeeded, by two dexterous side slices, in +Quincing his face as neatly as a housewife +would slice Fruit for a Devonshire Squab +Pie,—gained me the notice of some of the +Highest Nobility, to whom I was otherwise +recommended by the easiness of my +Manners, and the amenity of my Language. +The young Earl of Modesley did in particular +affect me, and I was of Service to +his Lordship on many most momentous and +delicate Occasions. For upwards of Six +Months I was sumptuously entertained in +his Lordship's Mansion in Red Lion Square;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span>—a +Kind of Hospitality, indeed, which he +was most profuse in the dispensation of:—there +being at the same time in the House +a French Dancing-Master, an Italian Singer, +a Newmarket Horse-Jockey, and a Domestic +Chaplain, that had been unfrocked for too +much fighting of Cocks and drinking of +Cider with clowns at his Vicarage; but to +whom the Earl of Modesley was always a +fast friend. Unfortunate Young Nobleman! +He died of a malignant Fever at +Avignon, just before attaining his Thirtieth +Year! His intentions towards me were of +the most Bounteous Description; and he +even, being pleased to say that I was a +good-looking Fellow enough, and come to +an Age when it behoved me to be settled +in Life, proposed that I should enter in the +bonds of Wedlock with one Miss Jenny +Lightfoot, that had formerly been a Milliner +in Liquorpond Street, but who, when his +Lordship introduced me to her, lived in +most splendid Lodgings under the Piazza, +Covent Garden, and gave the handsomest +Chocolate Parties to the Young Nobility<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span> +that ever were seen. So Boundless was +his Lordship's generosity that he offered to +bestow a portion of Five Hundred Pounds +on Miss Lightfoot if she would become +Madame Dangerous—said portion to be at +my absolute disposal—and to give me +besides a long Lease at a Peppercorn Rent +of a Farm of his in Wiltshire. The Match, +however, came to nothing. I was not yet +disposed to surrender my Liberty; and, +indeed, the Behaviour of Miss Lightfoot, +while the Treaty of Alliance between us +was being discussed, did not augur very +favourably for our felicity in the Matrimonial +State. Indeed, she was pleased to +call me Rogue, Gambler, Bully, Led Captain, +and many other uncivil names. She +snapped off the silver hilt of my dress-sword +(presented to me after I had fought +the Second in Hyde Park), and obstinately +refused to restore that gewgaw to me, +telling me that she had given it to her +Landlady (one Mother Bishopsbib, a monstrous +Fat Woman, that was afterwards +Carted, and stood in the Pillory in Spring<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span> +Gardens, for evil practices) in part payment +for rent-owing. Moreover, she wilfully +spoilt my best periwig by overturning a +Chocolate Mill thereupon; and otherwise +so misconducted herself that I bade her a +respectful Farewell,—she leaving the marks +of her Nails on my face as a parting Gift,—and +told my Lord Modesley that I would +as lief wed a Roaring Dragon as this Termagant +of the Piazza. This Refusal +brought about a Rupture between myself +and my Lord. He was imprudent enough to +talk about my Ingratitude, to tell me that +the very coat on my back was bought and +paid for with his Money, and to threaten +to have me kicked out of doors by two of +his Tall Lacqueys. But I speedily let him +have a piece of my Mind. "My Lord," +says I, going up to him, and thrusting my +face full in his, "you will be pleased to +know that I am a Gentleman, whose ancestors +were ennobled centuries before your +rascally grandfather got his peerage for +turning against the true King."</p> + +<p>He began to murmur something (as many<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span> +have done before when my blood was up, +and I have mentioned Royalty) about my +being "a Jacobite."</p> + +<p>"I'll Jacobite your jacket for you, you +Jackadandy!" I retorted. "You have most +foully insulted me. I know your Lordship's +ways well. If I sent you a cartel, you and +your whippersnapper Friends would sneer +at it, because I am poor, and fling Led +Captain in my teeth. You won't fight with +a poor Gentleman of the Sword. I am too +much of a Man of Honour to waylay you at +night, and give you the private Stab, as you +deserve; but so sure as you are your father's +son, if you don't make me this instant a +Handsome Apology, I will cudgel you till +there is not a whole bone in your body."</p> + +<p>The young Ruffian—he was not such a +coward as Squire Pinchin, but rather murderous—makes +no more do, but draws upon +me. I caught up a quarter-staff that lay +handy (for we were always exercising ourselves +at athletic amusements), struck the +weapon from his grasp, and hit him a sounding<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span> +thwack across the shins that brought +him down upon his marrow-bones.</p> + +<p>"Below the Belt!" he cries out, holding +up his hands. "Foul! foul!"</p> + +<p>"Foul be hanged!" I answered. "I'm +not going to fight, but to Beat You;" and I +rushed upon him, shortening the Staff, and +would have belaboured him Soundly, but +that he saw it was no use contending against +John Dangerous, and very humbly craved +a parley. He Apologised as I had Demanded, +and lent me Twenty Guineas, and +we parted on the most friendly terms.</p> + +<p>This Lord essayed, notwithstanding, to +do me much harm in Town, saying that I +had used him with black Cruelty, had re-requited +his many favours with gross +Treachery, and the like Falsehoods, until I +was obliged to send him a Message to this +purport: that unless he desisted, I should +be obliged to keep my promise as to the +Cudgel. Upon which he presently surceased. +So much meanness had he, even, +as to fudge up a pretended debt of nineteen<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span> +guineas against me as for money lent, for +the which I was arrested by bailiffs and +conveyed—being taken at Jonathan's—to a +vile spunging-house in Little Bell Alley, +Moorfields; but the keeper of the House +stood my friend, and procured a Bail for +me in the shape of an Honest Gentleman, +who was to be seen every day about Westminster +Hall with a straw in his shoe, and +for a crown and a dinner at the eating-house +would suddenly become worth five hundred +a year, or at least swear himself black in the +face that such was his estate:—which was +all that was required. And when it came +to justifying of Bail before the Judges, what +so easy as to hire a suit of clothes in Monmouth +Street, and send him into court fully +equipped as a reputable gentleman? However, +there was no occasion for this, for on +the very night of my enlargement I won +fifty guineas at the tables; and walking +very Bold to my Lord's House, sends up +the nineteen guineas to my Lord with a +note, asking to what lawyer I should pay +the cost of suit, and whether I should wait<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span> +upon him at his Levee for a receipt. On +the which he, still with the fear of a cudgelling +before his eyes, sends me down a +Receipt in Full, <i>and the Money back to boot</i>, +begging me to trouble myself in no way +about the lawyer; which, I promise you, I +did not. And so an end of this troublesome +acquaintance,—a profitable one enough to +me while it lasted. As for Miss Jenny, her +Behaviour soon became as light as her name. +I have heard that she got into trouble about +a Spanish Merchant that was flung down +stairs and nigh killed, and that but for the +Favour of Justice Cogwell, who had a hankering +for her, 'twould have been a Court-Job. +Afterwards I learnt that she had +been seen beating Hemp in Bridewell in a +satin sack laced with silver; and I warrant +that she was fain to cry, "Knock! oh, good +Sir Robert, knock!" many a time before the +Blue-coated Beadles on court day had done +swingeing of her.</p> + +<p>There are certain periods in the life even +of the most fortunate man when his Luck is +at a desperately low ebb,—when everything<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span> +seems to go amiss with him,—when nothing +that he can turn his hand to prospers,—when +friends desert him, and the companions +of his sunshiny days chide him for not +having made better use of his opportunities,—when, +Do what he will, he cannot avert +the Black Storm,—when Ruin seems impending, +and Catastrophe is on the cards,—when +he is Down, in a word, and the despiteful +are getting ready to gibe at him in +his Misfortune, and to administer unto him +the last Kick. These times of Trial and +Bitter Travail ofttimes strike one who has +just attained Middle age,—the Halfway-House +of Life; and then, 'tis the merest +chance in the world whether he will be +enabled to pick himself up again, or be condemned +for evermore to poverty and contumely,—to +the portion of weeds and out-worn +faces. I do confess that about this +period of my career things went very badly +with me, and that I was grievously hard-driven, +not alone to make both ends meet, +but to discover anything that could have its +ending in a Meal of Victuals. I have heard<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span> +that some of the greatest Prelates, Statesmen, +Painters, Captains, and Merchants—I +speak not of Poets, for it is their eternal +portion, seemingly, to be born, to live, and +to Die Poor—have suffered the like straits +at some time or another of their lives. +Many times, however, have I put it on +record in these pages, that Despair and I +were never Bedfellows. As for Suicide, I +do condemn it, and abhor it utterly, as the +most cowardly, Dishonest, and unworthy +Method to which a Man can resort that he +may rid himself of his Difficulties. To +make a loathsome unhandsome corpse of +yourself, and deny yourself Christian Burial, +nay, run the risk of crowner's quest, and +interment at the meeting of four cross-roads +with a Stake driven through your Heart. +Oh, 'tis shameful! Hang yourself, forsooth! +why should you spend money in threepenny +cord, when Jack Ketch, if you deserve it, +will hang you for nothing, and the County +find the rope? Take poison! why, you are +squeamish at accepting physic from the +doctor, which may possibly do you good.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span> +Why, then, should you swallow a vile mess +which you are <i>certain</i> must do you harm? +Fall upon your sword, as Tully—I mean +Brutus—or some of those old Romans, were +wont to do when the Game was up! In the +first place, I should like to see the man, +howsoever expert a fencer, who could so +tumble on his own blade and kill himself. +'Tis easier to swallow a sword than to fall +upon one, and the first is quite as much a +Mountebank's Trick as t'other. Blow your +brains out! A mighty fine climax truly, to +make a Horrible Mess all over the floor, and +frighten the neighbours out of their wits, +besides, as a waggish friend of mine has it, +rendering yourself stone-deaf for life. If it +comes to powder and ball, why, a Man of +courage would much sooner blow out somebody +else's Brains instead of his own.</p> + +<p>I did not, I am thankful to say, want +Bread during this my time of ill luck; and +I never parted with my sword; but sure it +is that Jack Dangerous was woundily +pushed, and had to adopt many extraordinary +shifts for a livelihood. <i><ins title="Transcriber's Note: this word not italicised in original text'">Item.</ins></i> I engaged<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span> +myself to one Mr. O'Teague, an +Irishman, that had been a pupil of the +famous Mr. Figg, Master of the Noble Art +of Self-Defence, at his Theatre of Arms, on +the right hand side of the Oxford Road, +near Adam and Eve Court. Mr. Figg was, +as is well known, the very Atlas of the +Sword; and Mr. O'Teague's body was a +very Mass of Scars and Cicatrices gotten in +hand-to-hand conflicts with the broadsword +on the public stage. He had once presumed +to rival Mr. Figg, whence arose a cant saying +of the time, "A fig for the Irish;" but +having been honourably vanquished by him, +even to the slicing of his nose in two pieces, +the cracking of his crown in sundry places, +and the scoring of his body as though it had +been a Loin of Pork for the Bakehouse, he +was taken into his service, and became a +principal figure in all the grand gladiatorial +encounters, at wages of forty shillings a +week and his meat. As for Mr. Figg himself, +who was as good at backsword as at +broadsword, at quarter-staff as at foil, and +at fisticuffs as any one of them,—to say<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span> +nothing of his Cornish wrestling,—I saw +him once, and shall never forget him. There +was a Majesty blazed in his countenance +and shone in all his actions beyond all I +ever beheld. His right leg bold and firm; +and his Left, which could hardly ever be +disturbed, gave him the surprising advantages +he so often proved, and struck his +Adversary with Despair and Panic. He +had that peculiar way of stepping in, in a +Parry, which belongs to the Grand School +alone; he knew his arm, and its just time +of moving; put a firm faith in that, and +never let his foe escape a parry. He was +just as much as great a master as any I +ever saw, as he was a greater judge of time +and Measure. It was his method, when he +fought in his Amphitheatre, to send round +to a select number of his scholars to borrow +a shirt for the ensuing combat, and seldom +failed of half-a-dozen of superfine Holland +from his prime Pupils. Most of the young +Nobility and Gentry made it a part of +their education to march under his warlike +banner. Most of his Scholars were at every<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span> +battle, and were sure to exult at their great +master's victories; every person supposing +he saw the wounds his shirt received. Then +Mr. Figg would take an opportunity to inform +his Lenders of the charm their Linen +had received, with an offer to send the +garments home; but he seldom received any +other answer than "Hang you, keep it." +A most ingenious and courageous person, +and immeasurably beyond all his competitors, +such as O'Teague, Will Holmes, Felix +Maguire, Broughton, Sutton, and the like.</p> + +<p>Many good bouts with all kinds of +weapons did we have at Mr. O'Teague's +theatre, which was down a Stable-yard +behind Newport Market, not far from +Orator Henley's chapel. The shirt manœuvre +we tried over and over again with +varying success; but we found it in the +end impossible to preserve order among +our Patrons, the greater part of whom were +Butchers; and I am fain to admit that +many of these unctuous sky-blue jerkins +could fight as well as we. Then Mr. O'Teague +was much given to drinking, and in his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span> +potations quarrelsome. 'Twas all very well +fighting on a stage for profit, and with +the chance of applause, a clean shirt, and +perchance a Right Good Supper given to us +by our admirers afterwards at some neighbouring +Tavern; but I never could see the +humour of Swashbuckling for nothing, and +without occasion; and as my Employer was +somewhat too prompt to call in cold iron +when his Head was so Hot, I shook hands +with him, and bade him find another assistant. +This was the Mr. O'Teague that was +afterwards so unfortunate as to be hanged +at Tyburn for devalising a gentleman at +Roehampton. Great interest was made to +save him, his very prosecutor (who knew +not at the first his assailant, or that he +had been driven to the road by hard times) +heading the signatures to a petition for him. +But 'twas all in vain. He made a beautiful +end of it in a fine white nightcap fringed; +and his funeral was attended by some of +the most eminent swordsmen in town, who +had a gallant set-to afterwards for the benefit +of his widow. 'Tis sad to think of the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span> +numbers of brave men that I have known, +and how many of them are Hanged.</p> + +<p>About this time I was much with the +Players, but misliked them exceedingly; +and although numbers of brilliant offers +were made to me, I could not be persuaded +to try the sock and buskin. Hard as were +the names by which my enemies would +sometimes call me, I could never abide that +of Rogue and Vagabond, and such, by Act +of Parliament, was the player at that time. +No, I said, whatever straits I am driven to, +I will be a Soldier of Fortune, and Captain +Dangerous to the last.</p> + +<p>Of my Adventure with Madam Taffetas +the Widow, I am not disposed to say much. +Indeed, until my being finally settled, and +made the Happiest Man upon earth by my +union with the departed Saint who was the +mother of my Lilias, it must be admitted +that my commerce with the Sex was mostly +of the unluckiest description. I have been +used most shamefully by women; but it +behoves me not to complain, seeing how +much felicity I was permitted to enjoy in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span> +my latter days. This much, however, I will +discreetly set down. That meeting Madam +Taffetas in a side box at Drury Lane play-house, +She was pleased to accept my +Addresses, and to inform me that my conversation +was in the highest degree tasteful +to her. I entertained her very handsomely—indeed +much beyond my means, for I +was very heavily in debt for necessaries, +and I could scarcely walk the streets +without apprehensions of the grim Sergeant +with his capias. Madam Taffetas +was an exceedingly comely person, amazingly +well dressed, and, as I was given to +understand, in very prosperous circumstances. +She kept an Italian Warehouse +by the Sign of The two Olive Posts, in the +broad part of the Strand, almost opposite to +Exeter Change, and sold all sorts of Italian +Silks, Lustrings, Satins, Paduasoys, Velvets, +Damasks, Fans, Leghorn Hats, Flowers, +Violin Strings, Books of Essences, Venice +Treacle, Balsams, Florence Cordials, Oil, +Olives, Anchovies, Capers, Vermicelli, Bologna +Sausages, Parmesan Cheese, Naples<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span> +Soap, and similar delicate cates from foreign +parts. All her friends put her down as a +forty-thousand-pounder. In Brief, she professed +to be satisfied with my gentility and +Ancient Lineage, though worldly goods I +had none to offer her. All congratulated +me on my Good Fortune; and not wanting +to make any unnecessary bustle about the +affair, we took coach one fine Monday morning +down to Fleet Market, and were married +by a Fleet parson—none other, indeed, than +my old friend Chaplain Hodge, who had +taken to this way of life and found it very +profitable, marrying his twenty or thirty +couple a week, when Business was brisk, at +fees varying from five guineas to seven-and-sixpence, +and from a dozen of Burgundy to +half a pint of Geneva. But 'twas a rascally +business, the venerable man said, and he +sorely longed for the good old days when he, +and I, and Squire Pinchin, made the Grand +Tour together. Alas, for that poor little +man! His Reverence told me that he had +gone from bad to worse; that his Mamma +had married a knavish lawyer, who so bewildered<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span> +Mr. Pinchin with Mortgages, and +Deeds of Gift, and Loans at usurious interest, +that he got at last the whole of his property +from him, brought him in many thousands +in debt besides, and, after keeping him +for three years locked up and half-starved +in the Compter, was only forced to consent +to his enlargement when the unhappy little +man—whose head was never of the strongest, +and his wits always going a wool-gathering—went +stark-staring mad, and was, by +the City charity, removed to Bedlam Hospital +in Moorfields. There he raved for a +time, imagining himself to be the Pope of +Rome, with a paper-cap for a tiara, an ell-wand +for a crosier, a blanket for a rochet, +and bestowing his blessings on the other +Maniacs with much force and vehemence; +and there, poor demented creature, he died +in the year 1740.</p> + +<p>Much better would it have been for me, +had I gone straight off my Head and had +been sent to howl in Bedlam, than that I +should have married that same thievish catamaran, +Madam Taffetas. Surely never<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span> +Madman deserved a Dark House and a +Whip more than I did for that most foolishly +contracted union. I defy Calumny to +prove that I ever used anything approaching +false Representations in this matter. I +told her plainly that my Hand, Sword, and +Deep Devotion were all I had to offer, and +that for mere vile pounds, shillings, and +pence, and other Mercantile Arrangements, I +must look to her. Absolutely I borrowed ten +pieces, although I was then at a very Low +Ebb, to defray the expenses of the wedding +Treat, which was done most handsomely at +the Bible and Crown, in Pope's Head Alley, +Cornhill. "Now then," I said to myself, as +we came home towards the Strand (for we +were resolved to have no foolish honeymooning +in the Country, but to remain in town +and keep an eye to Business)—"now then, +Jack Dangerous, thou art at last Married +and Settled, and need trouble thyself no +more about the cares and anxieties of +money-grubbing and bread-getting. Thou +art tiled-in handsomely, Jack; thatched and +fenced, and girt about with Comfort and Re<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span>spectability. +Thy hat is on, and thy house +is covered." Alas, poor fool! alas, triply +distilled zany and egregiously doting idiot! +No sooner did a Hackney coach set us down +at the Leghorn Warehouse in the broad part +of the Strand, than we found Margery the +maid and Tom the shopboy in a great confusion +of tears on the threshold; and immediately +afterwards we heard that during +our absence to get married, Bailiffs had +made their entrance, and seized all the Merchandise +for a bill owing by Madam Taffetas +to her Factor of Seven Hundred Pounds. +The false Quean that I was wedded to was +hopelessly bankrupt, and with the greatest +impudence in the world she calls upon me +to pay the Money; the Bailiffs adding, with +a grin, that to their knowledge she owed +much more than their Execution stood for, +and that no doubt, so soon as it was bruited +abroad that I was her Husband, the Sheriff +of Middlesex would have something to say +to me in the way of a capias against my person. +In vain did I Rave and Swear, and +endeavour to show that I could in no way<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span> +be held liable for Debts which I had never +contracted. Such, I was told, was the Law; +and such it remains to this day, to the Great +Scandal of justice, and the detriment of +Gentlemen cavalieros who may be entrapped +into marrying vulgar Adventuresses whom +they deem Gentlewomen of Property, and +who turn out instead to be not worth two-pence-halfpenny +in the world. Nor were +words wanting to add dire Insult to this +astounding Injury; for Madam Taffetas, +now Dangerous, as I groaningly remembered, +must needs call me Mercenary Rascal, +Shuffling Pickthank, Low-minded Fortune-hunter, +and the like unkind names.</p> + +<p>Madam Dangerous indeed! But I am +thankful to Providence that the title she +assumed very soon fell away from her, and +that I was once more left free and Independent. +For whilst we were in the very +midst of Hot Dispute and violent Recrimination +comes a great noise at the door as +though some one were striving to Batter +it down. And then Margery the maid and +Tom the shop-lad began to howl and yelp<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span> +again, crying out Murder and thieves, and +that they were undone, the Bailiffs smoking +their Pipes and drinking their Beer meanwhile, +as though they enjoyed the Humours +of the Scene hugely, and my wicked wife +now pretending to faint, and now making +at me with the avowed Design of tearing +my eyes out. Presently comes lurching +and staggering into the room a Great Hulking +Brute of a Man that was attired like a +Sea Captain; and this Roystering Tarpaulin +makes up without more ado to my Precious +Partner, gives her two sounding Busses on +either side of her cheeks, and salutes her as +his wife.</p> + +<p>"Your wife!" I cried, starting up; "why, +she's my wife! I married her this very +morning, and to my sorrow, before Parson +Hodge, the Couple-Beggar, at the Fleet."</p> + +<p>"That may be, Brother," answers the Sea +Captain, with drunken gravity; "but she's +my wife, for all that. You married her +this morning, you say. I married her five +years ago, at Horsleydown, and in the +Parish church. I've got the 'Stifficate to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span> +prove it; and though I say it that shouldn't, +there's not a Finer woman, with a neater +ankle and such a Devil of a temper, to be +found 'twixt Beachy Head and Cape Horn."</p> + +<p>"A fig for both of you," bellows Madam +Taffetas, who had gone into one of her +Sham Faints in the arm-chair, but was now +conveniently recovered again. "If I'm +married to both of you—to you, you pitiless +Grampus" (this was to the Sea Captain), +"and to you, Ruffian, Bully, and Stabster" +(this was to <i>me</i>), "I'm married to somebody +else, and my real Husband is a Gentleman, +who, if he were here, would quoit the pair of +you into the street from Exeter Change to +the Fox under the Hill."</p> + +<p>She said this in one Scream, and then +Fainted, or pretended to Faint again.</p> + +<p>"Brother," said the Sea Captain to me, +staggering a little (for he confessed to +having much mixed punch under hatches), +but still very grave,—"brother, I think as +how it's clear that we're both of us d—d +fools, and d—d lucky fellows at the same +time."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Amen!" cries one of the Bailiffs, with a +guffaw.</p> + +<p>"<i>You</i> belay," remarked the Captain, +turning towards the vermin of Law with +profound disdain. "Brother" (turning to +me), "is the Press out?"</p> + +<p>"What do you mean?" I inquired. +"You know that there's no warrant for +press-gangs in this part of the Liberties of +Westminster."</p> + +<p>"Liberty be Hanged!" quoth the Sea +Captain. "If there was any liberty, there +couldn't be a press, for which I don't care a +groat, for I'm a master mariner. This is +what I mean. Is them landlubbers there +part of a press-gang? Are you trapped, +brother? Are you in the bilboes? Are +you in any danger of being put under +hatches?"</p> + +<p>"Why," upspoke one of the Bailiffs, +answering for me, "the truth is that we +are Sheriff's Sergeants, and have made +seizure, according to due writ of <i>fi. fa.</i> of this +worthy lady's goods. We've nothing at all +against the gentleman who says that he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span> +married her this morning; but as you said +that you married her five years ago, it's +very likely that we, or some of our mates, +shall have something to say to you, in the +form of parchment, between this and noon +to-morrow."</p> + +<p>"Very well," answers the Strange Seaman. +"You speak like a Man o' War's +chaplain, some Lies and some Lingo, but +all of it d—d Larned. Have you got ere a +drop of rum, brother?"</p> + +<p>"There's nothing here but some Three-Thread +Swipes," responds Mr. Bailiff; +"and, indeed, we were waiting until the +gentleman treated us to something better."</p> + +<p>"Then," continues the Captain, "you +shall have some rum. Younker, go and +fetch these gentlemen some liquor;" and he +flings a crown to the shop-lad. "You may +drink your grog and blow your baccy," he +went on, "as long as ever you like, and +much good may it do you. And as for you, +Pig-faced Nan,"—in this uncivil manner +did he address the false Madam Taffetas,—"you +may go to bed, or to the Devil, 'zactly<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span> +as you choose, and settle your Business with +the Bailiffs in the morning 'zactly as you +like. And you and I, brother," he wound +up, taking me by the arm in quite a friendly +manner, "will just go and take our grog +and blow our baccy in peace and quietness, +and thank the Lord for it."</p> + +<p>All this he said with great thickness and +indistinctness of utterance, but with an immovable +gravity of countenance. I never +saw a Man who was manifestly so Drunk +speak so sensibly, and behave himself in +such a proper manner in my life.</p> + +<p>As he turned on his heel to leave the +parlour where all this took place, I saw one +of the Bailiffs rise stealthily as if to follow +us.</p> + +<p>"Belay there!" the Captain cried, advancing +his mahogany paw in a warning +manner. "Hold hard, shipmates. I'm a +peaceable man, and aboard they call me +Billy the Lamb; but, by the Lord Harry, +if I catch you sneaking about, or trying to +find out where I and this noble gentleman +be agoing, I'm blest if I don't split your skull<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span> +in two with this here speaking-trumpet." +And so saying the Captain produced a +very long tin tube, such as Mariners carry +to make their voices heard at a distance +at sea, but which they generally have +aboard, and do not carry with them in their +walks.</p> + +<p>The Bailiffs were sensible men, and forbore +to intermeddle with us any more. So +we marched out of the House, it being now +about nine o'clock at night; and, upon my +word, from that moment to this, I never +set eyes upon Madam Taffetas, or Dangerous, +or Blokes,—for the Sea Captain's +name, he afterwards told me, was Blokes,—or +whatever her real name was. It is very +certain that she used me most scandalously, +and cruelly betrayed the trusting confidence +of one that was not only a Bachelor, +but an Orphan.</p> + +<p>Captain Blokes was a strange character. +We had a grand Carouse that night, he +paying the Shot like a gentleman; and over +our flowing Bowls, he told me that he had +long had suspicions of his wife's real cha<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span>racter; +and was, indeed, in possession of +evidence (though he had kept it secret) to +prove that she had given herself in marriage +to another man before she had wedded +him. And then, through the serving-lad, +he had heard that very morning, on his +coming into the Pool from Gravesend and +Foreign Parts, that Madam, who thought +him in China at least, and hoped him Dead, +was about to enter into Wedlock once +again; so that, determined to have Sport, +he had well Primed himself with Punch, +and lurked about the neighbourhood until +Monsieur Tomfool and his Spouse (by +which I mean myself, although no other +man should call me so) had come home +from the Fleet. And so all the Crying, +and Lord ha' Mercies, of the Wench and +the Boy, were all subterfuges; and they +knew very well, the sly rogues, that the +Sea Captain would soon be to the Fore.</p> + +<p>Nothing would suit him after this but +that we should have Supper at the King of +Prussia's Head, in the Savoy, and, as I had +given up my Lodgings as not Grand enough<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span> +for me on the eve of my wedding, and the +Vessel of which he was Commander was +lying in the Pool, that we should have Beds—at +his charges—at the same Tavern; and, +indeed, your Seafaring Men, although rough +enough, and smelling woundily of tar and +bilge-water, are the most Hospitable Creatures +breathing; and that makes Me so free +with my Money when there is a treat afoot; +albeit I can, without Vanity, declare myself +Amphibious, for I have seen as much service +by Sea as by Land, and have always +approved myself a Gentleman of Courage, +Honour, and Discretion, on both Elements.</p> + +<p>The next morning, after a Nip of Aquavitæ, +to clear the Cobwebs out of our throats, +we went down to Billingsgate, where we saw +my old humorous acquaintances, Brandy +Sall, the fishwife, and the humorous porter, +the Duke of Puddledock; likewise a merry +Wag that did porterage work for the Fish +Factors in the Market, and thereby seemed +to have caught somewhat of the form of the +fish beneath which his shoulders were continually +groaning, so that all who could take<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span> +that liberty with him called him Cod's Head +and Shoulders. Here we breakfasted on +new Oysters and Fried Flounders, with a +lappet of Kippered Salmon, for Goodman +Thirst's sake, and a rare bowl of hot Coffee, +which made us relish a Jug of Punch afterwards +in a highly jocund manner. And +then we fell to conversation; and I, who had +nothing to Conceal, and nothing to be +Ashamed of, did recount those of my Adventures +which I deemed would be most +diverting (for I forbore to tell him those +which were tedious and uneventful) to +Captain Blokes. And he, not to be behindhand +in frank confidence, told me how many +years he had been at sea; how many merchant +vessels he had commanded; and what +Luck he had had in his divers Trading +Adventures. Likewise, that he was now +under engagement with some very worthy +Merchants of Bristol, to man, equip, and +command a vessel called the <i>Marquis</i>, which, +in company with two others, the <i>Hope</i> and +the <i>Delight</i>, were about to undertake a +Cruising Voyage round the World. Find<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span>ing +from my speech that I was not wholly +unaccustomed to the Sea, and being made +acquainted with what I had done in the +West Indies and elsewhere, Captain Blokes +was pleased to say that I was the very man +for him, if I would join him. And at this +time, in verity, it seemed as though nothing +could suit me better; for my Resources were +quite exhausted, and I was brought very +Low. So, after some further parley, and a +good Beefsteak and Onions, and a bottle of +Portugee Wine for dinner, we went to the +Scrivener's in Thames Street, by the name +of Pritchett, that was Agent for the Company +of Merchant Adventurers at Bristol; +and an Agreement was drawn up, by which, +for Fifty Shillings a month pay, all due +rations and allowances, and a certain proportion +of the profits to be divided among +the Ship's Company at the termination of +our Adventure, I bound myself to serve +Captain Blokes as Secretary and Purser of +the ship <i>Marquis</i>.</p> + +<p>"Which means," says he, when we had +taken a Dram and shaken hands on signing<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span> +articles, "that you are to Write, Fight, +Drink, and keep Accompts, play put with +me in the Cabin, assist me in preserving the +Discipline of the Ship, sing a good song +when you are called upon, help the Doctor +to take care of the sick, and see that the +Steward don't steal the Grog and Tobacco; +and if you'll stick to me, by the Lord Harry, +Billy Blokes will stick to you. I like you +because you were such a d—d fool as to go +and marry that old woman."</p> + +<p>The next day we took Coach at the Swan, +by Paddington Church, for Bristol, and two +days afterwards arrived at that great and +flourishing Mercantile city. Nothing worthy +of note on the road; the Highwaymen, that +were wont to be so troublesome, being mostly +put down, owing to Justice Fielding and De +Vit's stringent measures. We were much +beset with gangs of wild Irish coming over +from their own country a-harvesting in our +fertile fields; and those gentry were like to +have bred a riot, quarrelling with the English +husbandmen at Stow. Being at Bristol, +comfortably housed at the Bible and Crown<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span> +in Wine Street,—the landlord much given +to swearing, but one of the best hands at +making of Mum that ever I knew,—Captain +Blokes had great work in settling business +with the Company of Merchant Adventurers +and Alderman Quarterbutt, their President. +As it seems we were at war with the French +and Spaniards, the <i>Marquis</i> (burden about +320 tons) was to carry twenty-six guns and +a complement of 108 men, letters of marque +being granted to us by private Commission, +with secret instruction as to Prizes and +Plunder, so that the disposal of both should +redound to the advantage of the Mariners, +the Profit of our Employers, and the honour +of His Majesty's arms. We had nigh double +the usual complement of officers usual in +private ships, to prevent Mutinies, which +ofttimes happen in long voyages, and that +we might have a large provision for a succession +of officers in case of Mortality. In +the <i>Marquis</i> we had Captain Blokes, commander-in-chief +of the whole Armament, a +Mariner; a Second Captain, who was a Dr. +of Physick, and also acted as President of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span> +our Committee (having much book-learning), +and Commander of the Marines; two Leftenants; +a Sailing Master; a Pilot that was +well acquainted with the South Seas, having +been in those latitudes twice before; a +Surgeon and his Mate, or Loblolly Boy; +Self as Secretary and Purser; two young +lawyers, designed to act as Midshipmen; +Giles Cash, as Reformado,—that was the title +of courtesy given to those who were sent to +sea in lieu of being hanged; a Gunner and +his crew; a Boatswain, cooper, carpenter, +sailmaker, smith, and armourer, ship's corporal, +Sergeant of Marines, cook; a Negro +that could shave and play the fiddle; and +the Ship's company as aforesaid, one-third +of whom were foreigners of every nation +under the Sun; and of those that were His +Majesty's subjects, many Tinkers, Tailors, +Haymakers, Pedlars, &c.—a terribly mixed +Gang, requiring much three-strand cord to +keep 'em in order.</p> + +<p>On the 2nd August, 1748, we weighed +from King's Road, by Bristol, and at ten at +night, having very little wind, anchored be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span>tween +the Holms and Minehead. Coming +on a fresh gale at S.E. and E.S.E., we ran +by Minehead at six in the morning. Next +day the wind veered to N.E. and E.N.E.; +on the 4th there was but little wind, and +smooth water; on the 5th we saw Land; +and finding that we had overshot our port, +which was Cork, came to an anchor at noon +off the two rocks near Kinsale. At eight +at night we weighed, having a Kinsale Pilot +on board, who was like to have endangered +our safety, the night being dark and foggy, +and the Pilot not understanding his Business; +so that he nearly turned us into the +next Bay to the westward of Cork, which +provoked Captain Blokes to chastise him +publicly on the quarter-deck. Our two +consorts got into Cork before us, and we +did not anchor in the Cove until the 7th +August, at three in the afternoon. We +stayed here until the 28th of the month, +getting in stores and provisions, and replacing +as many of our tailors and haymakers +as we could with real Sailors that could +work the Ship. Our crew, however, were<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span> +continually Marrying while we were at Cork, +to the great Merriment of Self and Captain +Blokes, who had seen enough and to spare +of that Game; but they <i>would</i> be Spliced, +although they expected to sail immediately; +among others, there was a Danish man +coupled by a Romish Priest to an Irish +woman, without understanding a word of +each other's language, so that they were +forced to use an Interpreter; yet I perceived +this pair seemed more afflicted at separation +than any of the rest. The Fellow +continued melancholy for many days after +we were at Sea. The rest, understanding +each other and the world better, drank their +cans of Flip till the very last Minute, concluded +with a health to our good voyage +and their next Happy Meeting, and then +Departed, quite unconcerned.</p> + +<p>We took sailing orders on the 1st of September; +and then Captain Blokes discovered +to the crew whither we were bound,—that +is to say, on a four years' voyage,—in order +that, if any Disorders should arise among +us, we might exchange our Malcontents<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span> +while in company with one of His Majesty's +ships. But no complaint was found on +board the <i>Marquis</i>, except from one fellow +who was expected to have been Tithing man +that year in his Parish, and said his wife +would be obliged to pay Forty shillings in +his absence; but seeing all hands satisfied, +he was easily quieted, and drank with the +rest to a prosperous voyage. On the 2nd +September we, having cleaned and tallowed +our ship's five streaks below the Water-line, +the fiddler struck up "Lumps o' Pudding," +and to follow that "Cold and Raw," the +Ship's company joining chorus with a will, +and so fell down to the Spit End by the +<i>Culloden</i> Man of War, as our two Consorts +had done the Night before. When we came +to the Spit End, Captain Blokes saluted the +<i>Culloden</i> with seven Guns, to which they +returned Five in courtesy, and then we +again Three for thanks. And so commenced +my Journey round the World.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span></p> +<h2>CHAPTER THE SECOND.</h2> + +<h3>MERCATOR HIS PROJECTION, AND WHAT CAME OF IT.</h3> + + +<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">Meaning</span> simply this, that I have often and +often, as a little Lad, gazed upon the Great +Map—very yellow, and shiny, and cracked +on its canvas mounting it was—of the +World, upon Mercator's Projection, and +devoutly longed for the day to arrive when +it might be my fortune to make a Voyage +of Circumnavigation. Such a Map, I remember, +hung in the Schoolroom at Gnawbit's; +and I have often been cruelly beaten +for gazing at it and pondering over it, instead +of endeavouring to commit to memory +a quantity of Words, the meaning of which +I could not for the life of me understand.</div> + +<p>Now, indeed, I had got my Desire, and +was going round the World in a Ship well<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span> +found with Men and Stores, occupying myself +a responsible position, and one giving +me some Authority, and enjoying the full +Confidence of my Commander, who was, +both when sober and inebriated (and he +was mostly the latter), one of the most +sagacious men I ever knew. He spoke seldom, +and then generally with a Hiccup; +but what he said was always to the Purpose. +I doubt not, if Captain Blokes had +been in the Royal Navy, he would by this +time be flying his pendant as Admiral.</p> + +<p>'Twould fill a volume to give you a Narrative, +however brief, of our Voyage. One +does not go round the World quite so easily +as a Cit taking a Wherry from Lambeth +Walk to Chelsea Reach. No, no, my Masters; +there are Perils to encounter, Obstacles +to overcome, Difficulties to surmount; +and I flatter myself that Jack Dangerous +was not found wanting when a Stout Heart, +a Strong Hand, and a Clear Head were +needed. I repeat that 'tis impossible for +me to give you an exact Log of so lengthy +a Cruise; and you must needs be content<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span> +if I set down a few bare Items of the most +notable Things that befell us.</p> + +<p>On 11th September we chased a strange +Sail, and after three hours came up with +her. She proved to be a Swedishman. +After firing a couple of shots at full Random +at her, to show that we meant Mischief +if provoked, and one of which Shots, I believe, +passed over her Taffrail, and killed a +Black Servant and the Captain's Monkey, +Captain Blokes boarded her in his Yall; +examined the Master, and searched the Ship +for Contraband of War; but not finding any +save a suspicious quantity of salted Reindeer's +Tongues, our Committee agreed that +she could not be considered a lawful Prize; +and not being willing to hinder time by carrying +her into any Harbour for further +Examination, we let her go without the +least Embezzlement. The Master gave us +a dozen of his Reindeer Tongues, and a piece +of dry Rufft Beef; and we presented him +with a dozen bottles of Red-streak Cider. +But while Captain Blokes and the Doctor +of Physic and Self were aboard the Swede<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</a></span> +taking a social Glass with him, our rascally +crew took it into their heads to Mutiny, +their Grievance being that the vessel was a +Contraband, and ought to be made a Prize +of. The plain truth was, that the Rogues +thirsted for Plunder. The Boatswain was +one of the Mutineers. Him we caused to +receive Four Dozen from the hands of his +own Mates, and well laid on; about a dozen +of the rest we put in Irons, after having +Drubbed 'em soundly, and fed 'em upon +Bread-and-Water; but at the end of a few +days they begged Pardon, and, on promising +Amendment, were allowed to return to +their Duty.</p> + +<p>18th September we came in sight of Pico +Teneriffe, bearing S.W. by W., distant about +eight leagues. This day we spied a Sail +under our Lee Bow, between the Islands of +Grand Canaries and Forteventura. She +showed us a clean Pair of Heels; but we +gave Chase, and after seven hours came up +with her. She proved a Prize, safe enough: +a Spanish Bark, about 25 tons, with some +45 Passengers, who rejoiced much when<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</a></span> +they found we were English, having fancied +that we were Turks or Sallee Rovers. +Amongst our Prisoners were four Friars, +and with them the Padre Guardian of Forteventura, +a good, honest old fellow, fat, and +given to jollity. Him we made heartily +merry, drinking the Spanish King's Health, +for naught else would he Toast. After we +had made all Snug, we stood to the Westward +with our Prize to Teneriffe, to have +her ransomed, that is to say, her Hull; for +her Cargo was not worth redeeming, being +extremely shabby,—one or two Butts of +Wine, a Hogshead of Brandy, and other +small matters, which we determined to keep +for our own use. The Spanish Dons made +a mighty pother about paying, pleading that +the Trade of these Islands enjoyed an immunity +from Privateering by arrangement +between his Catholic Majesty and the King +of Great Britain, and were even seconded +by some English merchants of Teneriffe +that were frightened at the thought of the +cruel Reprisals the Dons might exercise +after we went away, both on their Persons<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</a></span> +and Properties; for Jack Spaniard is one +that, if he cannot have Meal, will have +Malt. But we soon let 'em know that Possession +was Nine Points of the Law, and +that we were resolved to stick to our Prize +unless we got Ransom, which they presently +agreed to. At eight o'clock the next morning +we stood into the Port, close to the +Town, and spied a Boat coming off, which +proved to be the Deputy Governor, a +Spanish Don with as many names as an +English pickpocket has Aliases, and one +Mr. Harbottle, that was English Vice-Consul. +They brought us Wine, Figs, Grapes, +Hogs, and other Necessaries, as Ransom in +Kind for the Bark; and accordingly we +restored her, as also the Prisoners, with as +much as we could find of what belonged to +their Persons; although, Truth to tell, some +of our wild Reformadoes had used them +somewhat unhandsomely. All the Books, +Crucifixes, Reliques, and other superstitious +things, we carefully gave back to the Friars; +to the Padre a large Cheese, at which he +was much delighted; and to another Reli<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</a></span>gious, +who had been stripped nearly as bare +as a Robin, a pair of Breeches and a Red +Nightcap. And so stood off, giving Three +Cheers for King George, and one, with +better luck next time, for the King of Spain; +and I doubt not that they cursed us heartily +that same night in their Churches, for Heretics. +Now we had an indifferent good stock +of Liquor, to be the better able to endure +the Cold when we got to the length of Cape +Horn, which, we were informed, had always +very Cold Weather near it.</p> + +<p>On the 25th, according to custom, we +Ducked those that had never passed the +Tropic before. The manner of doing it was +to reeve a Rope in the Mainyard, to hoist +'em about half-way up to the Yard, and let +'em fall at once into the Water; they being +comfortably Trussed by having a Stick 'cross +through their Legs, and well fastened to the +Rope, that they might not be surprised and +let go their Hold. This proved of great use +to our Fresh-water Sailors, to recover the +Colour of their Skins, which had grown very +Black and Nasty. Those that we Ducked<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</a></span> +in this manner Three Times were about 60; +and others that would not undergo it could +redeem themselves by a Fine of Half-a-Crown, +to be Levied and Spent at a Public +Meeting of all the Ships' Companies when +we returned to England. The Dutchmen +we had on board, and some few English, +desired to be Ducked, some six, others eight +and ten times, to have the better title for +being Treated when they came home.</p> + +<p>On the 1st October we made St. Vincent, +where our Water began to smell insufferably; +so had some Coopers from the <i>Hope</i> and +<i>Delight</i> to make us Casks, and take in a fresh +Stock.</p> + +<p>On the 3d we sent a boat to St. Antonio, +with one of our Gunners' Crew that was a +very fair Linguist, to get Truck for our +Prize Goods what we wanted; they having +plenty of Cattle, Pigs, Goats, Fowls, Melons, +Potatoes, Limes, and ordinary Brandies, +Tobacco, Indian Corn, &c. Our people were +very meanly stocked with Clothes; yet we +were forced to watch our men very narrowly, +and Punish some of 'em smartly, to prevent<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</a></span> +their selling what Garments they had, for +mere Trifles, to the Negroes.</p> + +<p>We got all we wanted by the 8th; but +our Linguist gave us leg-bail; and as he +was much given to telling of Lies, we did +not go to the pains of sending a party of +Marines on shore after him. This is the +place whither the Blacks come from St. +Nicholas to make Oil of Turtle for the +anointing of their Nasty Bodies withal. +There was much good Green Turtle at this +time of the year, which made me think of +my old Jamaica days; but our men, in a +body, refused to eat it, much preferring Salt +Junk.</p> + +<p><i>Item.</i>—Many Flying Fish about here.</p> + +<p>Nothing more worthy of note till the 22d +October, when Mr. Page, Second Mate, made +an attack on his superior officer, the Doctor +of Physic, with a Marline-spike; and, but +for a very large Periwig he wore, which was +accounted odd in one having a Maritime +Command, would have finished him. Mr. +Page was had to the Forecastle and clapped +in the Bilboes, and Captain Blokes was for<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</a></span> +Hanging him off-hand as an Example to the +rest; but I, as Secretary, pointed out to him +that there was no Power of Life and Death +in our Instructions, and that it would be +folly to run the risk of a Præmunire when +we made Home again. With much trouble +I succeeded in dissuading him from his +Design: so that the Mate was only lashed +to the Main-gears and soundly Drubbed. +Fair, pleasant Weather, and a fresh Gale. +One that had secreted a Peruke, and a pair +of scarlet Stockings with silver Clocks, out +of the plunder of the Spanish Bark, did also +receive Rib-roasting enough (this was on a +Sunday, after Prayers) to last him for a +fortnight.</p> + +<p>On the 10th of November, after a terrific +Tornado and Thunder and Lightning, that +frightened some of our Tailors and Haymakers +half into Fits, we came to an Anchor +in 22-fathom water, in a sandy bay off the +land of Brazil. Caught some Tortoises for +their Shells, for they have too strong a taste +to be Eatable. A Portugee boat came from +a Cove in the Island of Grande, on our<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</a></span> +Starboard side, and said they had been +robbed by the French not long since. Captain +Blokes, the Doctor, and Self went ashore +to Angre de Keys, as it is called in Sea-Draughts; +but, as the Portugee call it, +Nostra Senora de la Concepcion, a small +village about three leagues distant, to +wait on the Governor, and make him +a present of Butter and Cheese. As we +neared the shore, the People, taking us for +Mounseers, fired a few Musquetoons at us, +which did us no Hurt; and when they found +out who we were, they very Humbly Begged +our Pardon. The Friars invited us to their +Convent, and told us they had been so often +stripped and abused by King Lewis's frog-eating +Subjects, that they were obliged to +take measures to Defend themselves; and, +indeed, 'twas these said Padres who had +fired at us. The Governor was gone to Rio +Janeiro, a city about twelve leagues distant, +but was expected back next day. We got +our empty Casks ashore, and sent our Carpenter, +with a friendly Portugee, to look out +Wood for Trustle-trees, both our Main and +Fore being broke; but the Weather was so<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[55]</a></span> +Wet and violent Sultry, that we could do +nothing. Here are abundant Graves of +Dead Men; and the Portugees told us that +two great French ships, homeward bound +from the South Seas, that Watered in this +same place about nine months before, had +buried nearly Half their men here; but +'twas at the Sickly season, and the French +have a marvellous foul way of Living. The +people very Civil; and we offered 'em handsome +Gratuities if they would catch such of +our men as might run away, which they +promised to do most Cheerfully.</p> + +<p>Hearing of a Brigantine (this was some +days afterwards) at the entrance of the Bay +of Grande, we sent our Pinnace manned +and armed to know all about her. She +turned out to be a Portugee laden with +Negroes, poor Creatures! for the Gold-mines. +Our boat returned, and brought as +presents a Roove of Fine Sugar and a Pot +of Sweetmeats from the Master, who spoke +a little English, and had formerly sailed +with 'em. The Portugees are cautious in +saying how far it is to the Gold-mines; but, +I believe, the distance by water is not great;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[56]</a></span> +and there is certainly abundance of Gold in +the country. The French took about 1200<i>l.</i> +worth out of their boats last autumn at one +Haul, which makes the Portugees hate 'em +so. Some of 'em brought us a Monstrous +Creature which they had killed, having +Prickles or Quills like a Hedgehog, and the +head and tail of a Monkey. It stank +abominably, which the Portugees said was +only the Skin, and that the Meat of it was +very Delicious, and often used for the table; +but our men not being yet on Short Commons, +none of 'em had Stomach enough to +try the Experiment, so that we were forced +to throw it overboard to make a Sweet Ship. +Our people could now hardly go ashore +without being frightened, as they thought, +by Tigers, and holloaing to be taken aboard +again; but there was nothing more dangerous +hereabouts than Apes and Baboons.</p> + +<p>Twenty-seventh November was a grand +Festival at Angre de Keys, in honour of one +of their Saints. We, and most of our +officers from the <i>Hope</i> and the <i>Delight</i>, went +ashore and were received by the Governor,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</a></span> +Signor Raphael da Silva Lagos, with much +civility. He asked if we would see the +Convent and Procession; and on our telling +him our Religion differed very much from +his, answered that we were willing to see it +without partaking in the Ceremony. We +waited on him in a Body, being ten of us, +with two Trumpets and Hautboys, which +he desired might play us to Church, where +our Music did the office of an Organ, but +separate from the Singing, which was very +well chanted by the Padres. Our Trumpets +and Hautboys played "Hey Boys, up go +we!" and all manner of paltry noisy tunes; +and, after service, the Musicians, who were +by this time more than half-drunk, marched +at the head of the Company: next to them +an old Padre and two Friars, carrying +Lamps of Incense. Then the Image of the +Saint, as Fine as a Milkmaid's Garland, +borne on a Bier, all spangled, on the shoulders +of four men, and bedizened out with +Flowers, Wax-candles, &c. After these, +the Padre Guardian of the Convent, and +about forty Priests in their full Habits.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</a></span> +Next came the Governor; Captain Blokes, +in a blue Navy Coat laced with Gold, a pair +of scarlet-velvet Breeches, and a Military +Hat; and the rest of the English officers in +their very best Apparel. I was fit to die +a-laughing, and whispered to our Doctor of +Physic, that had I known I was fated to +walk in such a Procession, I would never +have sold my old Tower Warder's slashed +doublet to the Frippery Man in Monmouth +Street, but would have brought it round +the World with me to wear at this Outlandish +place. Each of us had, moreover, +in Compliment to his Saintship, a long +Candle, lighted, in his hand; the which +gave us great Diversion, flaring the tapers +about, and seeking to smoke one another. +The Ceremony held about two hours, after +which we were splendidly entertained at the +Convent, and then by the Governor at the +Guard-house, his own habitation being about +three leagues off. It is to be noted, they +Kneeled at every Crossway, and turning, +walked round the Convent, and came in at +another door, bowing down and paying<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</a></span> +their devotion to the Images and the Wax-candles, +with the like superstitious observances. +They unanimously told us, however, +that they expected nothing from us +but our Company; and, beyond the Trumpets +and Hautboys, and a jolly Song or two +from us, they had no more. Many Sharks +were in the Road, that keep the Negro +Slaves in good order, should they, poor +Black Fellows, attempt Escape to any +foreign ship by swimming to her. But the +Portugees are not very hard with their +Negroes, save up at the Gold-mines, where +Mercy is quite unknown. <i>Aqua d'oro</i> may +be a very good Eye-water; but, sure, there's +nothing like it for hardening of the Heart.</p> + +<p>On the 28th of this Month we bade farewell +to our kind friends of Angre de Keys. +Just before sailing we sent a Boat to the +town for more Necessaries, and brought off +some Gentlemen, whom we treated to the +very best we could. They were very glorious, +and in their Cups proposed the Pope's +Health to us; but we were quits with 'em +by toasting that of the Archbishop of Can<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</a></span>terbury; +and, to keep up the humour, we +also proposed Martin Luther: but this fell +flat, as they had never Heard of him; +whereas that of his Grace at Lambeth +turned out rather against us than for us; +for they cried out that they knew him very +well, and that he was a Catholic Saint, +under the style and title of San Tomaso de +Cantorberi.</p> + +<p>December 1st, we weighed with a breeze +at N.E.; but later came on a gale S.S.W., +forcing us to anchor close under the Island +of Grande. About 10 next morning we +weighed again, and bore away and steered +away S.W. Now the product of Brazil is +well known to be Red Wood, Sugars, Gold, +Tobaccos (of every kind, and very choice), +Whale Oil, Snuff, and several sorts of +Drugs. The Portugees build their best +ships here. The people very Martial; and +'tis but a few years since they would be +under no Government, but have now submitted +to the House of Braganza, which +makes a Pretty Penny out of them. Their +Customs are very nasty; their Houses mar<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</a></span>vellously +foul; and they are for ever smoking +of Tobacco; but the Portugees are still +a very friendly folk, cordial to us English, +although they call us Heretics, and, but for +their great love for roasting Jews, very +tender-hearted. I like them much better +than those Proud Paupers the Spaniards. +A Beggar on Horseback is bad enough; but +Goodness deliver us from a Beggar on an +Andalusian Jackass!</p> + +<p><i>Memorandum.</i>—Brazil discovered by the +famous Americus Vespucius, that came after +Captain Christopher Colomb.</p> + +<p>Nothing remarkable happened until December +6th, when we had close cloudy +Weather, with Showers; and, after that, +some pretty sharp Gales. On the 15th the +colour of the water changed; and we +sounded, but had no ground. On the 18th +one of the <i>Hope's</i> men fell out of the Mizen-top +on the Quarter-deck, and broke his +Skull; so that he died, and was buried next +day. A brisk fellow, that, from his merry +ways, used to be called Brimstone Jemmy. +After this, cold airy weather, and numbers<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</a></span> +of Porpoises, black on their backs and fins, +with sharp white Noses. They often leaped +high up in the water, showing their white +bellies. Also, a plenty of seals. December +23d we saw Land, appearing first in three, +and afterwards in several Islands. The +Wind being westerly, and blowing fresh, we +could not weather it, but were forced to bear +away and run along Shore from three to +four leagues distant. This we saw first was +Falkland's Land, described in few Draughts, +and none lay it down right, though the +Latitude agrees pretty well. December +25th saw Land again; but could not get +near enough to see whether it was inhabited; +in truth we were too much in a hurry to +think of making Discoveries; for at four in +the Afternoon we sighted a Sail under our +Lee-bow, gave chase, and got ground of her +apace till Night came on. In the Morning +we saw nothing, it being thick hazy +Weather; then, as ill luck would have it, it +fell Calm, and having nothing else to do we +Piped all hands to Punishment, and gave +the Cook three dozen for burning Captain<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</a></span> +Blokes' burgoo. Then Grog served out, +and we took an Observation. Lat. 52·40.</p> + +<p>We kept on rowing and towing with +Sweeps, and our Boats ahead, until about +six in the Evening; and the Chase appearing +to be a large ship, we sent Boats aboard +our Consorts, and agreed to engage her. A +fine breeze sprang up, and we got in our +Sweeps and Boats, making all possible sail; +it came on thick again; but we kept her +open on the Larboard, and the <i>Hope</i> and +<i>Delight</i> on the Starboard bow, and it being +now Short Nights, we thought it impossible +to lose one another. But the Master persuaded +our Commander to shorten sail, +saying that we should lose our Consorts if +we kept on. Another Fog, and be hanged +to it; but the next morning the Yellow +Curtain was lifted up, and we saw the Chase +about four miles ahead, which gave us a +new Life. We ran at a great Rate, it being +smooth water; but it coming on to blow +more and more, the Chase outbore our +Consorts, and being to windward she gave off, +and then came down very melancholy to us,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</a></span> +supposing her to be a French Homeward-bound +Ship from the South Seas. Thus, +this Ship escaped; and left us all, from the +Commander to the Cabin-boys (who had a +hard time of it that night, you may be sure), +in the most doleful Dumps.</p> + +<p>Strong gales to the 1st of January. This +being New-Year's Day, every officer was +wished a Merry New Year by our Trumpets +and Hautboys; and we had a large tub of +Punch, hot, upon the Quarter-deck, where +every man in the Ship had above a Pint to +his share, and drank to our Owners' and +Friends' healths in Great Britain, to a Happy +New Year, a good Voyage, plenty of Plunder +(Wo is me for that Homeward-bound +Frenchman from the Southern Seas!), and +a Safe Return. And then we bore down +on our Consorts and gave them three Huzzas, +wishing them the like.</p> + +<p>Now, it being very raw cold Weather, we +very much dreaded scudding upon Ice; so +we fired Guns as Signals for the <i>Hope</i> and +<i>Delight</i> to bring to, and on the 5th of January +brought ourselves to, under the same<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</a></span> +reefed Topsails. We feared at one time, +from our Consorts having an Ensign in +their Maintopmast shrouds, as a Signal of +Distress, that they had sprung their Mainmast; +so we made the Large again, our +Ship working very well in a mighty great +sea. When we were able to get within +Hail of our Consorts, we asked them how +they did, and how they had come to hoist +the Wretched Rag. They answered, Pretty +well, but that they had shipped a great deal +of Water in lying by, and being forced to +put before the wind, the Sea had broke in +at the Cabin Windows, filling the Steerage +and Waist, and was like to have spoiled +several Men; but, Heaven be thanked! all +else was indifferent well with 'em; only it +was intolerably Cold, and everything Wet. +Captain Blokes sent me on board the <i>Delight</i> +in our Yall, and I found them in a +very disorderly Pickle, with all their Clothes +a-drying: the Ship and Rigging covered +with 'em from the Deck to the Maintop. +They got six of their Guns into the Hold, +to make the Ship lively.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</a></span></p> + +<p>Aboard the <i>Marquis</i> died, on the 8th, +John Veale, a Landsman, having lain ill a +Fortnight, and had a Swelling in the Legs +ever since he left the Island of Grande. At +nine at night we buried him; and this was +the first we had lost by Sickness since we +left England. Until the 15th, cloudy Weather +with Squalls of Rain, and fresh Gales +at S.W. We now accounted ourselves +round Cape Horn, and so in the South +Seas. The French ships that first came to +trade in these seas were wont to come +through the Straits of Magellan; but Experience +has taught 'em since, that this is +the best Passage to go round the Horn, +where they have Sea Room enow, without +being crushed and crowded as at a Ranelagh +Masquerade; and the Straits are in many +places very narrow, with strong Tides and +no Anchor Ground.</p> + +<p>On the 31st of January, at seven in the +Morning, we made the Island of Juan Fernandez, +bearing W.S.W., and about two in +the Afternoon we hoisted our Pinnace out, +and essayed to send one of our Lieutenants<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</a></span> +ashore, though we could not be less than +four leagues off. As soon as it was Dark +our men cried out that they saw a Light +ashore; our Boat was then about a mile +from the Shore, and bore away for the Ship +on our firing a Quarter-deck Gun, and several +Muskets, showing Lanterns in our Mizen +and Foreshrouds, that the Pinnace might +find us again, whilst we plied to the lee of +the Island. About two in the Morning she +came aboard, all safe. Next day we sent +our Yall ashore about noon with the Master +and Six Men, all well Armed; meanwhile +we cleared all ready for Action on board +the <i>Marquis</i>. Our Boat did not return, so +we sent our Pinnace with the Crew, likewise +Armed: for we were afraid that the +Spaniards might have had a Garrison there, +and so seized 'em. However, the Pinnace +returned, and brought abundance of Crawfish, +but found nothing human; so that the +alarm about the Light must have been a +mere superstition of the Ship's Company.</p> + +<p><i>It was at this same Island of Juan Fernandez, +in the year of our Lord 1708-9, that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</a></span> +Captain Woodes Rogers, commanding the +"Duke" Frigate, and with whom also Captain +Dampier, that famous Circumnavigator, +sailed, found a Man clothed in Goatskins, +who looked wilder than they who had been +the first owners of 'em. He had been on the +Island four years and four months, being left +there by Captain Stradling in the "Cinque +Ports;" his name was</i> <span class="smcap">Alexander Selkirk</span>, +<i>a Scottish man, who had been Sailing Master +to the "Cinque Ports;" but quarrelling with +the Commander, was by him accused of +Mutiny, and so Abandoned on this Uninhabited +Island. During his stay he saw several +Ships pass by, but only two came to an +Anchor. As he went to view 'em he found +they were Spaniards, and so retired, upon +which they Shot at him. Had they been +French, he would have submitted; but chose +to risk his dying alone on the Island rather +than fall into the hands of the Spaniards, because +he apprehended they would Murder +him, or make a Slave of him in the Mines; +for he feared they would spare no Stranger +that might be capable of Discovering the South<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</a></span> +Sea. He had with him when left his Clothes +and Bedding, with a Firelock, some Powder, +Bullets, and Tobacco, a Hatchet, a Knife, a +Kettle, a Bible, some practical Pieces, and +some Mathematical Instruments and Books. +During the first eight months of his stay he +suffered much from Melancholy and Terror; +but afterwards got on pretty well. He built +two Huts with Pimento Wood, which he also +burnt for Fuel and Candle; and which, besides, +refreshed him with its fragrant smell. +He had grown very Pious in his Retreat, and +was much given to singing of Psalms, having +before led a very naughty life. Being a very +good sailor, Captain Woodes Rogers took him +away with him as Second Mate. He told 'em +that he had been at first much pestered with +Cats and Rats, the latter of which gnawed +his feet and clothes, so that he was obliged to +cherish the Cats with Goat's-flesh, and they +grew so familiar with him as to lie about him +in hundreds. But I cannot stay to recount +half the wonderful Adventures of Mr. Selkirk. +I knew him afterwards, a very old Man, +lodging with one Mrs. Branbody, that kept a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</a></span> +Chandler's Shop over against the Jews' Harp +Tavern at Stepney. He was wont bitterly to +complain that the Manuscript in which he +had written down an Account of his Life at +Juan Fernandez had been cozened out of him +by some crafty Booksellers; and that a Paraphrase, +or rather Burlesque, of it, in a most +garbled and mutilated form, had been printed +as a Children's Story-book, under the name +of</i> <span class="smcap">Robinson Crusoe</span>. <i>This was done by +one Mr. Daniel Foe, a Newswriter, who, in +my Youth, stood in the Pillory by Temple +Bar, for a sedition in some plaguey Church-matters. +But it is fitting to let these Gentry +know that they have Ears, lest they become too +Saucy.</i></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</a></span></p> +<h2>CHAPTER THE THIRD.</h2> + +<h3>THE CONTINUATION OF MY VOYAGE UNTIL MY RETURN +AGAIN TO EUROPE.</h3> + + +<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">Now</span>, being got away from Juan Fernandez, +did an unconquerable Greed and Longing +for Prize and Plunder come over us; and +did we sweep the Horizon hour after hour +as long as it was Light, in hope of satisfaction +to our long-deferred Hope. March 2d +we sighted Land, and a vast high ridge of +Mountains they call the Cordilleras, and are +in the Country of Chili. Some parts are, +I believe, full as high, if not higher, than +the Pico of Teneriffe, and the tops of all +of 'em covered with Snow. This day we +came to an allowance of Three Pints of +Water a day for each man; judging it best +to be Economical, although we had a good<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[72]</a></span> +stock of water aboard (taken in at Juan +Fernandez); but Captain Blokes' reason was, +to be able to keep at Sea for some time +longer, and take some Prizes to keep the +Deuce out of our pockets, without being +discovered by Watering; for our South-Sea +Pilot told us that the timorous people of +these Latitudes once smelling an Enemy +hovering about, will put to sea with nothing +of value from one end of the Coast to the +other. Much baffled by several white Rocks +that looked like Ships, and Captain Blokes +much incensed at continual Disappointments, +takes to making the Cabin-boy weary of his +life; and after drubbing him with a Rope's +end three times doubled, was for sousing +him in the Pickle-tub; but I dissuaded him +(remembering the Torments I had myself +endured as a Moose; and even now when I +think of 'em I am Afraid, and Trembling +takes hold of my Flesh), and so no more +was Done to him, beyond a Threat that he +should be Keel-hauled next time; although +the poor lad had in no way misbehaved +himself. We got the two Pinnaces into the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</a></span> +water, to try 'em under sail, having fixed +each of 'em with a Gun, after the manner +of a Patterero, to be useful as small Privateers, +hoping they'd be serviceable to us in +little winds to take vessels. March 15th, +Land again, and we supposed it was Lobos; +and sure enough, on the 17th, we got well +unto anchor off that Island, but found nobody +at the place. On the 19th we determined +to fit out our small Bark for a Privateer, +and launched her into blue water, under +the name of the <i>Beginning</i>. To his great +pride and delight, Captain Blokes appointed +the Doctor of Physic to command her. She +was well built for sailing, so she was had +round to a small Cove in the Southernmost +part of Lobos. A small Spar out of the +<i>Marquis</i> made a Mainmast for her, and one +of our Mizen Topsails was altered to make +her a Mainsail. March 21st, All being ready, +and the <i>Beginning</i> christened by Captain +Blokes emptying a Bowl of hot Punch over +her bow, she was victualled from the general +store; and the Doctor of Physic, who, for +all his Degree, claimed to be a good Mariner,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</a></span> +took possession of his high and important +command. Twenty men from our ship, and +ten from our Consorts, were put aboard her, +all well Armed. We saw her out of the +Harbour, and she looked very pretty, having +all Masts, Sails, Rigging, and Materials, like +one of those Half Galleys fitted out for his +Majesty's Service in England. They gave +our Ship's Company three Huzzas, and we +returned them the like at parting. We told +the Captain-Doctor that if we were forced +out of the Road, or gave chase hence, we +would leave a Glass Bottle, buried under a +remarkable Great Stone agreed upon, with +Letters in it, to give an Account of how it +was with us at the moment of our Departure, +and where to meet again. And he was +to do the like. When the <i>Beginning</i> was +gone we fell to and scrubbed Ship, getting +abundance of Barnacles off her much bigger +than Mussels. Seals numerous, but not so +many as at Juan Fernandez. A large one +seized upon a fat Dutchman that belonged +to us, and had like to have pulled him into +the water, biting him to the bone about the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[75]</a></span> +arms and legs. This Hollander was henceforth +known as the Lord Chancellor, having +been so very near the Great Seal. After +barnacling, we gave the <i>Marquis</i> a good +Keel, and Tallowed her low down. Another +Dutchman we had died of the Scurvy. His +Messmates said that it was because we had +no more Cheese aboard, and that we could +not catch Red Herrings by angling for them +in Blue Water.</div> + +<p>March 28th. The little <i>Beginning</i> came +in with a Prize, called the <i>Santa Josepha</i>, +bound from Guayaquil to Truxillo, 50 tons +burden, full of Timber, with some Cocoa-nuts +and Tobacco. A very paltry Spoil. +There were about twelve Spaniards aboard, +who told us (after some little Persuasion, in +the way of Drubbing) that the Widow of +the late Viceroy of Peru would shortly +embark at Acapulco, with her Family and +Riches, and stop at Payta to Refresh; and +that about eight months ago there was a +Galleon with 200,000 pieces of Eight on +board, that passed Payta on her way to +Acapulco. They continued, however, to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[76]</a></span> +Lie and Contradict themselves when questioned; +and so (as they howled most dismally +on deck while under Punishment) they +were had down to the Cockpit, where the +Boatswain and his Mates had their Will of +them, and I don't know what became of +them afterwards. These Spanish Prisoners +give a great deal of Trouble.</p> + +<p>April 2d. The Superstitious among us +were heartily frightened at the Colour of +the Water, which for several miles looked +as Red as any Blood. Some fellows among +the crew that were of a Preaching Turn, +gave out that this unusual appearance was +an Omen, or Warning to us of Judgments +coming for what had been done to the +Spanish Prisoners (in the which Duresse I +declare I had no hand; 'twas all done by +Captain Blokes' orders, and 'tis very likely +that the Boatswain, who was a Rough +Fellow, very ignorant, exceeded his instructions). +It was explained, however, that this +Sanguinary Hue in the water was a perfectly +natural appearance, caused by the Spawn of +Fish; and two or three of the preaching<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</a></span> +fellows being had to the Maingears and well +Drubbed, Grog was served out to the rest, +and an Alarm, which might have bred a +Mutiny, soon subsided.</p> + +<p>But huzza! on the 5th of April we had +things more substantial to think of than +Red Seawater; for we took, after a very +slight Resistance, a Ship called the <i>Ascension</i>, +built Galleon-fashion, very high, with Galleries, +Burden between 400 and 500 tons, +and two Brothers Commanders, both Dons +of families that were Grandees 500 years +before Adam was born, and of course with +five-and-twenty Christian Names apiece. +She had a number of Passengers and some +fifty Negroes; but the former being persons +of Condition, far above the Common Sort, +and not poor Coasting people, such as were +those in the Timber Bark, we used 'em handsomely. +They, without any such persuasion +as was employed to their forerunners, told +us that the Bishop of Chokeaqua, a place +far up the Country in the South Parts of +Peru, was to have come from Panama in +this vessel for Lima, but would stop at<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</a></span> +Payta to Recruit. Being near that place, +we resolved to Watch narrowly, in order to +catch his Lordship.</p> + +<p>Now to the Norrard, and on the 10th of +April we were off the Hummocks they call +the Saddle of Payta; and being very Calm, +we held a Court-Martial on one of our Midshipmen +who had threatened to shoot one +of our men when at Lobos, merely for refusing +to carry some Crows that he had +shot. The Court was held in Captain +Blokes' Cabin, and consisted of the Commander, +Self, First-Lieutenant, assisted in +our deliberations by sundry Pipes of Tobacco +and a great Jug of Punch. Found Guilty. +Sentenced to be Degraded before the Mast, +to have his Grog stopped for a Fortnight, +and to receive Four Dozen at the Gun (for +he being a kind of Officer, we did not wish +to Humiliate him on deck). Half of his +Punishment he endured with more doleful +Squalling than ever I heard from a Penitent +in my Life, although the Boatswain was +very tender with him, and three Tails of the +Cat were tied up. He begged pardon, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</a></span> +so Captain Blokes remitted him the rest of +his Punishment. This Midshipman was one +who sang a very good Song; and so a Cushion +being brought to Ease him, we finished the +Evening and the Punch jovially enough, he +being before the end in high favour with +the Commander, and promised his Rating +back again.</p> + +<p>April 15th. The Officers of all three Ships +met on board the <i>Marquis</i>, and the Committee +came to a Resolution to attack Guayaquil +at once. The Bark we had called the +<i>Beginning</i> by this time had come back to +us, having begun nothing and found nothing, +since its first prize, except a great Sea +Lubber, some kind of Monster that the +Doctor of Physic had caught and wanted +to preserve in Rum, to make a Present of +to the Royal Society when we came Home; +but we forbade his wasting good Liquor +for so unworthy an end, and the Monster, +smelling intolerably, was thrown +overboard. 'Twould have caused me no +great sorrow to see the Doctor follow his +Prodigy, for he was a very uncomfortable<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[80]</a></span> +Person, and was much given to cheating +at Cards.</p> + +<p>April 20th. To our Boats off Guayaquil, +a Great Company of Men and Officers all +armed to the teeth. We rowed till 12 at +night, when we saw Lights, which we judged +to be a place called Puna. It blew fresh, +with a small rolling Sea, the Boat I commanded +being deep laden and crammed with +men; some of us say they would rather be +in a Storm at Sea than here; but, in regard +we were about a charming Undertaking, we +thought no Fatigue too hard. At daybreak +we saw a Bark above us in the River; and, +running down upon her, found it was a +large Pinnace, full of the most considerable +Inhabitants of Puna, escaping towards +Guayaquil. Here were at least a dozen +handsome genteel young Women, extremely +well dressed, and from them our men got +some fine Gold Chains and Earrings. Some +of these Nicknacks were concealed about +'em; but the Gentlewomen in these parts +being very thinly dressed in Silk and Fine +Linen, they could hide but little, and our<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</a></span> +Linguist was bidden to advise them to be +Wise in Time, and surrender their Valuables, +which they did. And so civil were our +Sailors to them, that they offered to dress +some Victuals for us when we got 'em +aboard; which made us hope that the Fair +Sex would be kind to us when we returned +to England, for our discreet behaviour to +these charming Prisoners.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>I am afraid that during the Attack on +Guayaquil, which took place the next day, +and continued for the three following ones, +when the place Capitulated to our force, and +a Treaty was signed between our Commanders +and the Governor and Corregidor +of Guayaquil, sundry proceedings took place +that would not very well have squared with +the public ideas of what is due to the Fair +Sex just treated of; but I declare that I had +neither Art nor Part in them, and that I am +entirely Free from any Responsibility that +Censure might cast on the Authors of Cruel +Disturbances; for early in the Attack I was +hit by a Musket-ball in the chest, and borne<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</a></span> +senseless to our Boats. That I did my Duty +bravely, my Commander was good enough +to say, and the whole Ship's Company to +admit. I was carried away to the <i>Marquis</i>, +and for a long time lay between Hawk and +Buzzard; for a smart Fever came about the +third day, like Burgundy wine after Sherris, +and I was for awhile quite off my head and +Raving about Old Times;—about Captain +Night and the Blacks, and Maum Buckey +and her Negro Washerwomen, and my +Campaign against the Maroons, and some +Other Things that had befallen me during +those fifteen years which I have chosen to +leave a Blank in my life, and which I scorn +to deny did—some of them—lie heavy on +my Conscience. All these were mixed up +with the old Gentleman at Gnawbit's, and +my Lord Lovat with his head off, and my +Grandmother in Hanover Square; so that I +doubt whether those who tended me knew +what to make of me. There was some difficulty +too as to medical attendance, for we +had cashiered our Surgeon—that is to say,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</a></span> +he had run away at Grande in the Brazils, +to marry a brown Portugee woman; and the +Doctor of Physic he was all for Herbal +Treatment, demanding Succory, Agrimony, +Asarabacca, Knights-pound-wort, Cuckoo-point, +Hulver-bush, with Alehoof, and other +things not to be found in this part of the +World. And Captain Blokes said that he +knew nothing half so good for a Gunshot +Wound as cold Rum-and-Water; and between +the two I had like to have died, but +all were very kind to me, even to extracting +the Ball with a Pair of Snuffers; and a +great clumsy thing the said missile was, +being, I verily believe, part of a Door-hinge +which these clumsy Spanish Brutes had +broken off short to cram into their Guns; +and yet it might have gone worse with me +had it been a smooth round cast Bullet, and +drilled a clean Wound right through my +Body.</p> + +<p>As I was coming round, even to the +taking of some Sangaree and Chicken +Panada (for we were now very well pro<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</a></span>vided +with Live Stock), the Captain said +to me: "You ha'n't murdered a man, +Brother, have you?"</p> + +<p>I replied, starting up, that my hands were +free from the stain of <ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'Bood'">Blood</ins> unrighteously +spilt.</p> + +<p>"No offence, Brother Dangerous," continued +the Captain. "In our line of life we +ar'n't particular. It wouldn't take very +dirty weather to make our Ensign look like +a Black Flag. Piracy and Privateering—they +both begin with a P. I thought you had +something o' that sort on your mind, because +you took it so woundily about being hanged."</p> + +<p>"I have had a strange life," I answered +faintly.</p> + +<p>"No doubt about that," says the Captain. +"So have I, Brother, and not an over-good +one: that's why I asked you. If +the old woman hadn't been in the oven +herself, she'd never have gone there to +look for her daughter. But have you +anything on your mind, Brother? Is +there anything that Billy Blokes can do +for you?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</a></span></p> + +<p>I answered, very gratefully, that there +was nothing I could think of.</p> + +<p>"'Cause why," he resumed, "if there is, +you have only to sing out. If you think +you're like to slip your Cable and would +like to say something, we've got a Padre on +board out of the last Prize, and he shall +come and do the Right Thing for you. You +don't know anything about his lingo; but +what odds is that? Spanish, or Thieves' +Latin, or rightdown Cockney,—it's all +one when the word's given to pipe all +hands."</p> + +<p>I answered that I was no Papist, but a +humble member of the Church of England +as by Law established.</p> + +<p>"Of course," concluded the Captain. "So +am I. God bless King George and the +Protestant Succession, and confound the +Pope, the Devil, and the Pretender! But +any Port in a storm, you know; and a +Padre's better than no Prayers at all. I've +done all I could for you, Brother. I've read +you most part of the story of Bel and the +Dragon, likewise the Articles of War, and a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</a></span> +lot of psalms out of Sternhold and Hopkins; +and now, if you feel skeery about losing the +number of your mess, I'll make your Will +for you, to be all shipshape before the Big +Wigs of London. There must be a matter +of Four Hundred Pounds coming to you +already for your share of Plunder; and no +one shall say that Billy Blokes ever robbed +a Messmate of even a twopenny tester of his +Rights."</p> + +<p>Again I thanked this singular person, +who, for all his Addictedness to Rum-and-Water, +of which he drank vast quantities, +was one of the most Sagacious men I have +known. But I told him that I had neither +kith nor kin belonging to me; that I did +not even know the name of my Father and +Mother; and that my Grandmother, even, +was an Unknown Lady, and been dead nigh +forty years. Finally, that if I made my +Will, it would only be to the effect that my +Property, if any, might be divided among +the Ship's Company of the <i>Marquis</i>, with +a donative of Fifty guineas to the <i>Hope</i><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</a></span> +and <i>Delight</i> people to drink to my +Memory.</p> + +<p>"Ay, and to a pleasant journey to Fiddler's +Green," cries out the Captain. "But cheer +up, Heart; ye're not weighed for the Long +Journey yet." Nor had I; for I presently +recovered, and in less than a month after +my Mishap was again whole and fit for +Duty. And I have set this down in order +to confute those malignant men who have +declared that all my Wounds were from +Stripes between the Shoulders; whereas I +can show the marks, 1°, of an English +Grenadier's bayonet; 2°, of a Frenchman's +sword; 3°, of a Spanish bullet; with many +more Scars gotten as honourably, and which +it would be only braggadocio to tell the +History of.</p> + +<p><i>Item.</i>—The Corregidores, or Head-Men +of Guayaquil, are great Thieves. The Mercenary +Viceroys not being permitted to +Trade themselves, do use the Corregidores +as middle-men, and these again employ a +third hand; so that ships are constantly em<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</a></span>ployed +carrying Quicksilver, and all manner +of precious and prohibited goods, to and +from Mexico out of by-ports. Thus, too, +being their own Judges, they get vast +Estates, and stop all complaints in Old +Spain by Bribes. But now and then comes +out a Viceroy who is a Man of Honesty and +Probity, and will have none of these Scoundrelly +ways of Making Money (like Mr. +Henry Fielding among the Trading Justices, +a Bright exception for integrity, though his +Life, as I have heard, was otherwise dissolute), +and then he falls too and squeezes +the Corregidores, in the same manner as +Cardinal Richelieu, that was Lewis Thirteenth's +Minister, was wont to do with the +Financiers. "You must treat 'em like +Leeches," said he; "and when they are +bloated with blood, put salt upon them, to +make them disgorge." And I have heard +that this rigid System of Probity, and +putting salt on the gorged Corregidores, +has ofttimes turned out more profitable to +the Viceroys than trading on their own +account.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</a></span></p> + +<p>Many of our men falling sick here, and +our Ransom being now fully disbursed by +the authorities of Guayaquil, we made haste +to get away from the place, which was fast +becoming pestiferous.</p> + +<p>We set sail with more than fifty men +Down with the Distemper (of which they +were dying like Sheep with the Rot in the +town, and all the Churches turned into Hospitals); +but we hoped the Sea Air, for which +we longed, would set us all healthy again. +So plying to windward, bearing for the +Galligapos Islands, and on the 21st of May +made the most Norrard of that Group. +Jan Serouder, a West Frieslander, and very +good Sailor, though much given to smoking +in his Hammock, for which he had many +times been Drubbed, died of the Distemper. +A great want of Medicines aboard, and the +Rum running very low. Sent a boat ashore +to see for Water, Fish, and Turtle, which +our men (being now less Dainty by Roughing) +had, by this time, condescended to eat. +Kept on our course; on the 27th the +Easternmost Island bore S.E. by S., distant<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</a></span> +about four leagues: and nothing more remarkable +happened till the 6th of June, +when we spied a Sail, the <i>Hope</i> being then +about two miles ahead of us; and about +seven in the Evening she took her in a very +courageous manner. This was a Vessel of +about 90 tons, bound from Panama to +Guayaquil, called the <i>San Tomaso y San +Demas</i> (for these Spaniards can never have +too much of a good thing in the way of +Saints), Juan Navarro Navarret y Colza, +Commander. About forty people on board, +and eleven Negro Slaves, but little in the +way of European goods save some Iron and +Cloth. They had a passenger of note on +board, one Don Pantaleone and Something +as long as my Arm, who was going to be +Governor of Baldivia, and said he had been +taken not long since in the North Sea by +Jamaica Cruisers. On the 7th June we +made the Island of Gorgona; and, on the +8th, got to an anchor in 30-fathom water. +The next day sent out our Pinnace a'cruising, +and took a prize called the <i>Golden Sun</i>, +belonging to a Creek on the Main,—a two<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</a></span>penny-halfpenny +little thing, 35 tons; ten +Spaniards and Indians, and a Negro that +was chained down to the deck to amuse the +Ship Company with playing on the Guitar +(a kind of Lute). However, we found a +few ounces of Gold-dust aboard her, worth +some sixty pounds sterling. After examining +our Prisoners (who gave us much +trouble, for we had no Linguist, and 'twas a +Word and a Blow in questioning them: +that is, the Blow came from us to get the +Word from 'em; but not more than two or +three Spaniards were Expended),—after +this tedious work was over we held a Committee, +and agreed to go to Malaga,<a name="FNanchor_A_1" id="FNanchor_A_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_1" class="fnanchor">[A]</a> an +Island which had a Road, and with our +Boats tow up the River in quest of the rich +Gold-mines of Barbacore, also called by the +Spaniards San Juan. But heavy Rains +coming on, we were obliged to beat back +and come to Gorgona again, building a Tent +ashore for our Armour and Sick Men. We<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</a></span> +spent till the 25th in Careening; on the 28th +we got all aboard agen, rigged and stowed +all ready for sea; the Spaniards who were +our Prisoners, and who are very Dilatory +Sailors (for they hearken more to their +Saints than to the Boatswain's Pipe), were +much amazed at our Despatch; telling us +that they usually took Six Weeks or a +Month to Careen one of their King's Ships +at Lima, where they are well provided with +all Necessaries, and account that Quick Expedition. +We allowed Liberty of Conscience +on board our floating Commonwealth to our +Prisoners; for there being a Priest in each +ship, they had the Great Cabin for their +Mass, whilst we used the Church-of-England +Service over them on the Quarter-deck. So +that the Papists here were the Low Churchmen. +Shortly after the beginning of July +we freed our prisoners at fair Ransom in +Gold-dust; but the Village where we landed +them was so poor in common Necessaries, +that we were obliged to give them some +corned beef and biscuit for their subsistence +until they could get up the Country, where<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</a></span> +there was a Town. Same day a Negro +belonging to the <i>Delight</i> was bit by a small +brown speckled Snake, and died in a few +hours.</p> + +<p>We had with us, too, a very good prize +taken by the <i>Hope</i>, and continued unloading +this and transferring the rich contents +to our ships, having promised to restore the +Hull itself to the Spaniards, on her being +handsomely Ransomed; and the Don that +was to be Governor of Baldivia was appointed +Agent for us, and suffered to go +freely on his Parole to and fro to arrange +Money-Matters with the Authorities up the +Country.</p> + +<p><i>Memorandum,</i>—Amongst our Prisoners +(taken on board the Panama ship) there +was a Gentlewoman and her Family, the +Eldest Daughter, a pretty young woman of +Eighteen, newly Married, and had her +husband with her. We assigned them the +Great Cabin on board the Prize, and none +were suffered to intrude amongst them; yet +the Husband (we were told) showed evident +Marks of a Violent Jealousy, which is<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</a></span> +the Spaniard's Epidemic Disease. I hope he +had not the least Reason for it, seeing that +the Prize-Master (our Second Lieutenant) +was above Fifty years of Age, and of a +very Grave Countenance, appearing to be +the most secure Guardian to females that +had the least Charm, though all our young +Men (that were Officers) had hitherto appeared +Modest beyond Example among +privateers; yet we thought it improper to +expose them to Temptation. And I am +sure, when the Lieutenant, being superseded +for somewhat Scorching of a Negro +with a stick of fire for answering him +Saucily, and Captain Blokes bade me take +temporary command of the Prize and Prisoners, +that I behaved myself so well as +to gain Thanks and Public Acknowledgments +for my civility to the Ladies. We +had notice that more than one of these +Fair Creatures had concealed Treasure about +'em; and so in the most Delicate Manner +we ordered a Female Negro who spoke +English to overhaul 'em privately, and at +the same time to tell 'em that it would<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</a></span> +pain us to the Heart to be obliged to use +Stripes or other Unhandsome Means to +come to a Discovery. Many Gold Chains, +Bracelets, Ouches, and suchlike Whim-Whams +the Sable Nymph found cunningly +stowed away; upon which we gave her +half a pint of Wine and a large pot of +Sweets, forgiving her at the same time a +Whipping at the Capstan which had been +promised her for Romping and Gammocking +among the people in the Forecastle. +For I suppose there was never a modester +man than Captain Blokes.</p> + +<p>August 10th. All Money-Matters being +arranged, we disposed of our Prisoners. +We burnt down the Village for some Impertinence +of the Head Man (who was a +Half-caste Indian),—but no great harm +done, since 'twas mostly Mud and Plantain +thatch, and could be built up again in a +Week,—and got to Windward very slowly, +there being a constant current flowing to +Leeward to the Bay of Panama. 13th we +saw the Island of Gallo; the 18th we spied +a Sail bearing W.N.W. of us, when we all<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</a></span> +three gave chase, and took her in half an +hour. 70 tons. Panama to Lima. Forty +people aboard, upon examining whom they +could tell us little News from Europe, but +said that there came Advices from Portobello +in Spain, and by a French ship from +France, not long before they came out of +Panama; but that was all kept private; +only, they heard that his Royal Highness +the Duke of Cumberland was Dead, the +which Sad Intelligence we were not willing +to Believe, but drank his Health at Night, +which we thought could do him no hurt +even if he really happened to be Dead. +By this time we had gotten another Surgeon +out of the <i>Delight</i>, whom we daily +exercised at his Instruments in the Cockpit, +and his Mate at making of Bandages +and spreading of Ointment; and Captain +Blokes (who was always giving some fresh +proof of Sagacity), just to try 'em, and imitate +business for 'em a little, ordered Red +Lead, mixed with Water, to be thrown on +two of our Fellows, and sent 'em down to +the Hold, when the Surgeon, thinking they<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[97]</a></span> +had really been wounded, went about to +Dress them; but the mistake being discovered, +it was a very agreeable Diversion.</p> + +<p>After this we made sail to the Marias +Islands (for I feel I must be brief in this +abstract of my Log, and must compress into +a few pages the events of many Months), +and all November were cruising about Cape +St. Lucas in quest of Prizes. Christmas +we spent in a very dismal manner; for a +Complaint, something akin to Mumps with +Scurvy in the gums, and a touch of Lockjaw +to boot, broke out among us, and eight +men died. Then we engaged or took a +very big Spaniard out of Manilla, 250 tons, +and a very rich Cargo, mostly in Gold-dust +and embroidered Stuffs. January 10th, +1748-9, at anchor at Port Segura; and +here, to our dismal dismay, we heard that +Peace had been proclaimed between Spain +and England, and that all our Privateering +for the present was at an end. Then to +Acapulco in Mexico, seeing if we could do +some honest trading; but at all the Towns +along the Coast they looked upon us as<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[98]</a></span> +little better than Pirates. But we felt a +little comforted at the thought that we had +already taken some very rich Prizes, and +my own part of the Plunder was now over +1500<i>l.</i> January 11th, we weighed from +Port Segura, and ran towards the Island +of Guam. Our Steward missing some +pieces of Pork, we immediately searched +and found the Thieves. One of them had +been guilty before, and Forgiven on promise +of Amendment; but was punished +now, lest Forbearance should encourage +the rest to follow his bad practice. Provisions +being so short, and our run now so +long, might, without great caution, have +brought evil consequences upon us. They +(the Thieves) were ordered to the Main-gear, +and every man of the watch to give +'em a blow with the Cat-o'-nine-tails. On +the 14th of February, in commemoration +of the ancient English custom of choosing +Valentines, a list was drawn up of all the +Fair Ladies in Bristol in any way related +or concerned in our Ships; and all the +officers were sent for to the Cabin, where<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</a></span> +every one drew, and drank his Valentine's +health in a cup of Punch, and to a happy +sight of 'em all. This was done to put 'em +in mind of Home.</p> + +<p>From Guam, a very poor place, and the +Natives uncommonly nasty, we shaped our +course to Ternate; and about the 2d of May +saw land, which we took for some of the +Islands lying about the N.E. part of Celebes, +but were satisfied soon after that we were in +the Straits of Guiana. 18th May passed +several Islands, and the South point of Gillolo. +This was the time of the S.E. Monsoon, +which made Weather and Wind very +uncertain. May 25th we fell in with a parcel +of Islands to the Eastward of Bouton, an +island where there is a kind of Indian King, +very Savage and Warlike, and with a considerable +flotilla of Galleys. We traded with +him, and made good profit in the way of +Barter; for these Savages will give gold and +Goods for the veriest trumpery that was +ever picked up at a Groat the handful at the +hucksters' stalls in Barbican. From Bouton +on the 11th June, having well watered and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</a></span> +provisioned, and taken a Native pilot on +board, we sailed for Batavia, and on the 30th +cast anchor in the Road there. We waited +on his Excellency the Governor-General (for +the States of Holland), and begged permission +to refit our Ships, which was granted. +Many strange Humours now to be seen +aboard. Some of the crew hugging each +other; others blessing themselves that they +were come to such a glorious place for +Punch, where they could have Arrack for +Eightpence a Gallon; for now the Labour +was worth more than the Liquor, whereas, +a few weeks since, a Bowl of Punch was +worth more to them than half the Voyage. +Now we began to Careen, going over to +Horn Island, and a Sampan ready to heave +down by, and take in our Guns, Carriages, +&c. Several of our men fell ill of Fevers, +as they said, from drinking the Water of the +Island; but as Captain Blokes opined, more +from the effects of Arrack Punch at Eightpence +a Gallon. All English ships are +allowed by the Government here half a +leaguer of Arrack a day for ship's use per<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</a></span> +man; but boats are not suffered to bring +the least thing off shore without being first +severely searched. As to the town of Batavia, +it lies in a bay full of islands, which +so break off the Sea, that though the Road +is very large, yet it is safe. The Banks of +the Canals through the City are paved with +stones as far as the Boom, which is shut up +every night at nine o'clock, and guarded by +Soldiers. All the Streets are very well built +and inhabited; fifteen of 'em have Canals just +as in Amsterdam and Rotterdam, and from +end to end they reckon fifty-six bridges. +The vast number of Cocoa-nut trees in and +about the City everywhere afford delightful +and profitable Groves. There are Hospitals, +Spin-houses, and so forth, as in Holland, +where the idle and vicious are set to work, +and, when need arises, receive smart Discipline. +The Chinese have also a large Sick +House, and manage their charity so well that +you never see a Chinaman looking despicable +in the street. The Dutch Women have +greater privileges in India than in Holland, +or, indeed, anywhere else; for on slight<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[102]</a></span> +occasions they are often divorced from their +Husbands, and share the Estate betwixt +'em. A Lawyer told me at Batavia he had +known, out of fifty-eight causes, all depending +in the Council Chamber, fifty-two of +them were Divorces. The Governor's Palace +of Brick, very stately and well laid. He +lives in as great splendour as a king; he has +a Train and Guards—viz. a Troop of Horse +and a Company of Foot with Halberds, in +liveries of yellow satin adorned with silver +laces and fringe—to attend his Coach when +he goes abroad. His Lady has also her +Guards and Train. The Javanese, or +Ancient Natives, are numerous, and said +to be barbarous and proud, of a dark colour, +with flat faces, thin short Black hair, large +eyebrows and cheeks. The Men are strong-limbed, +but the Women small. The Men +have many Wives, and are much given to +lying and stealing. They are all Pagans, +and worship Devils. The Women tawny, +sprightly, and Amorous, and very apt to give +poison to their Husbands when they can do +it cunningly. There are at least 10,000<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</a></span> +Chinese who pay the Dutch a dollar a month +for liberty to wear their Hair, which they +are not allowed to do at home since the +Tartars conquered 'em. There comes hither +from China fourteen or sixteen Junks a year, +being flat-bottomed vessels. The Merchants +come with their goods, and marvellous queer +folks they are. I don't think the whole City +is as large as Bristol; but 'tis much more +populous.</p> + +<p>October 12th. We, according to our +Owners' orders to keep our Ships full-manned, +whether the War continued or not—and, +oh, how we cursed this plaguey +Peace!—shipped here seventeen men that +were Dutch. Though we looked upon our +hardships as being now pretty well over, +several Ran from us here that had come out +of England with us, being straggling, lazy, +good-for-nothings, that can't leave their old +Trade of deserting, though now they had a +good sum due to each of 'em for Wages. +Their shares for Plunder of course were forfeited, +and equitably divided among those +that stuck by us. From this to the 23d we<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</a></span> +continued taking in wood and water for our +Passage to the Cape of Good Hope; and +just before we sailed held a Council on board +the <i>Marquis</i>, by which 'twas agreed, that if +any of our Consorts should happen to part +company, the one that arrived first was to +stay at the Cape twenty days; and, then, if +they didn't find the other Ships, to make +their utmost despatch to the Island of +Helena; and if not there, to proceed, according +to Owners' orders, to Great Britain.</p> + +<p>Nothing particular happened till the 27th +December, when the <i>Marquis</i> proved very +Leaky, and rare work we had at the Pumps, +they being most of them choked up from +long disuse. December 28th we came in +sight of the Lion's Head and Rump, being +two Hills over the Cape Town. Saluted the +Dutch fortress with Nine Guns, and got but +Three for thanks; it being surprising what +airs these Pipe-smoking, Herring-curing, +Cheese-making, Twenty-breeches Gentry +give themselves. 29th, we moored Ship, +and sent our Sick ashore. We stayed here +until the end of February, when we went<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</a></span> +into Sardinia Bay to Careen; for a Survey +of Carpenters had reported very badly concerning +the Leak. 27th Feb. we had a +good rummage for Bale Goods to dispose of +ashore, having leave of the Governor, and +provided a Store-house, where I and the +Supercargo of the <i>Delight</i> took it by turns +weekly during the sale of 'em. 28th March +came in a Portugee frigate, with news that +Five stout French Ships had attempted Rio +Janeiro, but were repulsed, and had a great +number of men killed, with over 400 taken +prisoners by the Portuguese.</p> + +<p>April 5th we hoisted a Blue Ensign, +loosened our Fore Topsail, and fired a Gun +as a Signal for our Consorts to unmoor, +and so fell down to Robin and Penguin +Islands.</p> + +<p><i>Memorandum.</i>—We buried four while at +the Cape; eight ran away to be eaten up, as +we heartily hoped, by the Hottentots, who +have a great gusto for White Man's Flesh; +but reject Negroes as too strong and Aromatic; +to say little of the major number of +our Ship's Companies getting Married to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</a></span> +Black Wenches. But there's no Doctors' +Commons at Cape Town; and the best Way +of Divorce is by shoving off a boat from +Shore, and leaving your Wife behind you. +<i>Item.</i>—The Dutch generally send a Ship +every year to Madagascar for Slaves to +supply their Plantations; for the said +beastly Hottentots have their Liberty and +Ease so much, that they cannot be brought +to work, even though they should Starve +(which they do pretty well all the year +round) for the lack of it. Here, too, we +spoke with an Englishman and an Irishman, +that had been several years with the +famous Madagascar Pirates, but were now +pardoned, and allowed to settle here. They +told us that these Miserable Wretches, who +once made such a Noise in the World, dwindled +away one by one, most of them very +poor and despicable, even to the Natives, +among whom they had Married. They +added, that they had no Embarkations, only +mere Canoes and Rowboats in Madagascar; +so that these Pirates (so long a terrible +Bugbear to peaceable Merchantmen) are<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</a></span> +now become so inconsiderable as to be +scarcely worth mentioning; yet I do think +that if care be not always taken after a +Peace to clear all out-of-the-way Islands of +these piratical Vermin, and hinder others +from joining them, it may prove a Temptation +for loose scampish Fellows to resort +thither, and make every Creek in the +Southern Seas a troublesome nest of Freebooters.</p> + +<p>The Cape having been so frequently described, +I shall only add that the Character +of the Hottentots, at which I have hinted, +has been found to be too True, that they +scarce deserve to be reckoned of the Human +Kind: they are such a nasty, ill-looking, and +worse-smelling people. Their Apparel is +the Skins of Beasts; their chief Ornament +is to be very Greasy and Black; so that +they besmear themselves with an abominable +Oil, mixed with Tallow and Soot; and the +Women twist the Entrails of Beasts or +Thongs of Hides round their legs, which +resemble Rolls of Tobacco. Here's plenty, +however, of all kinds of Flesh and Fowl;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[108]</a></span> +there's nothing wanting at the Cape of Good +Hope for a good subsistence; nor is there +any place more Commodious for a Retirement +to such as would be out of the Noise +of the World, than the adjacent country in +the possession of the Dutch.</p> + +<p>Nothing of note happened till May 1st, +only that sometimes we had Thunder, Lightning, +Rain, and Squalls of Wind. On the +7th we made the Island of Ascension, S. +Lat. 8.2. On the 14th at noon we found +we had just crossed the Equator, being the +eighth time we had done so in our course +round the World. We had a Dutch Squadron +with us, who expected Convoy Rates, +and all manner of Civilities from us, though +there was now Peace, and we wanted +nothing from 'em; but 'tis always the way +with this Grasping and Avaricious People. +Soon too we observed that the Dutch ships +began to scrape and clean their sides, painting +and polishing and beeswaxing 'em inside +and out, bending new sails, and the very +Mariners putting on half a dozen pair of +new breeches apiece. This it is their cus<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[109]</a></span>tom +to do as they draw near home; so that +they look as if newly come out of Holland.</p> + +<p>On the morning of the 15th July we made +Fair Island and Foul Island, lying off Shetland; +and sighted two or three Fishing +Doggers cruising off the Islands. Having +little wind, we lay by, and the Inhabitants +came off with what Provisions they had; +but they are very poor people, wild and +savage, subsisting chiefly on Fish. When +that provision fails, I have heard they live +on Seaweed.</p> + +<p>We being, so to speak, in charge, although +unwillingly, of the Dutch Squadron, which +had been willy-nilly our Convoy, were +compelled to put into a port of Holland instead +of into a British one, as we had fondly +hoped. On the 23rd July the Dutch Commodore +made a signal for seeing Land, +and the whole fleet answered him with all +their colours. The Pilot-boat coming off, +we took two aboard, and about noon parted +with some of our Dutch Consorts that were +Rotterdam and Middleburg ships. We gave +'em a Huzza and a half in derision, and our<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[110]</a></span> +Trumpet and Hautboy were for striking up +the Rogue's March; but this was forbidden +by the Sagacious Captain Blokes. Some +English ships now hove in sight, and saluted +the Dutch Commodore; and afterwards we, +though with an ill grace, saluted his Worship +to welcome in sight of the land, which +by right belongs to the Rats (though I have +little doubt that for all the Vandykes and +Vandams the long-whiskered Gentry will +come to their own again some of these fine +days). As soon as they got over the Bar +the Dutchmen fired all their guns for joy at +their safe arrival in their own country, which +they very affectionately call Fatherland; +and, indeed, it was not easy under these circumstances +to be angry with the Poor Souls +that had been so long at Sea, and wandering +about Strange Lands. At 8 at night +we came to an anchor in 6-fathom water, +about 2 miles off shore.</p> + +<p>On the 24th, in the morning, the Dutch +Flag-ship weighed, in order to go up to the +unlivering place. In the afternoon Captain +Blokes sent me ashore, and up to Amster<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[111]</a></span>dam, +with a letter for our Owners' Agents, +to ask how we were to act and proceed from +hence. Coming back with instructions from +the Agent (one Mr. Vandepeereboom, who +made me half-fuddled with Schiedam drinking +to our prosperous return; but he was a +very Civil Gentleman, speaking English to +admiration, and had a monstrous pretty +Housekeeper, with eyes as bright as her own +Pots and Pans), by Consent of our Council +we discharged such men as we had shipped +at Batavia and the Cape, and sold the half-dozen +Negroes we had from time to time +picked up for about a Hundred Dollars +apiece. But this last had to be managed by +private Contract, and somewhat under the +Rose; for their High Mightinesses, the +States-General, allow no Slaves to be sold +openly in Amsterdam.</p> + +<p>On the 10th we went up to the Vlieder, +which is a better Road than the Texel, and +then to Amsterdam again, where Captain +Blokes and his chief officers had to make +Affidavits before a Notary Public to the +truth of an Abstract of our Voyage, the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[112]</a></span> +which I had drawn up from the Log of the +<i>Marquis</i>, to justify our proceedings to our +own Government in answer to what the +East India Company had to allege against +us; they being, as we were informed, resolved +to trouble us on pretence that we +had Encroached upon their Charter. On the +31st August comes Mr. Vandepeereboom on +board to take Account of what Plate, Gold, +and Pearl was in the Ship; and on the 5th +September he took his leave of us.</p> + +<p>But not of me; for as I had been much +with him ever since we had lain at Amsterdam, +we had become great Chums, and he +had persuaded me not to return just yet to +England, but to remain with him in Holland, +and become his partner in Mercantile Adventure, +that should not necessitate my +going to Sea again. And by this time, to +tell truth, I was heartily sick of being Tossed +and Tumbled about by the Waves. No +man could say that I had not done my Duty +during my momentous Voyage round the +World. I had worked as hard as any Moose +on board the <i>Marquis</i>, doing hand-work and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[113]</a></span> +head-work as well. I had been Wounded, +had had two Fevers and one bout of Scurvy; +but was seldom in such evil case as to shirk +either my Duty or my Grog. I prudently +redoubted the Chances of returning in haste +to my native Country, for, although being +alone in the world, and the marriage with +Madam Taffetas not provable in Law, with +no other Domestic Troubles to grieve me, I +knew from long experience what Ducks and +Drakes Seafaring men do make of their +money coming home from a long voyage +with their heads empty and their pockets +full, and was determined that what I had +painfully gathered from the uttermost Ends +of the Earth should not be riotously and +unprofitably squandered in the Taverns of +Wapping and Rotherhithe. Mr. Vandepeereboom +entering with me into the State +of his Affairs, proved, as far as Ledger and +Cash-book could prove any thing, that he +was in a most prosperous way of business, +in the Dutch East India trade, of which by +this time I knew something; so that, although +Captain Blokes was loth to part<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[114]</a></span> +with his old Shipmate and Secretary, he was +yet glad to see me better myself. And in +truth Mr. Vandepeereboom's Housekeeper +was marvellous pretty. I drew my Pay and +Allowances, which amounted to but a small +matter; but to my great Joy and Gladness +I found that my share of the Plunder from +our Prizes and the Ransom of Guayaquil +came to Twenty Hundred Pounds. The +order for this sum was duly transferred to +me, and lodged to my Account in the Bank +of Amsterdam, then the most famous Corporation +of Cofferers (since that of Venice +began to decline) in Europe. I bade farewell +to Captain Blokes and all my Messmates; +left Twenty Pounds to be divided +among the Ship's Company (for which they +manned Shrouds and gave me three Huzzas +as the Shoreboat put off); and after a last +roaring Carouse on board the <i>Marquis</i>, gave +up for Ever my berth in the gallant Craft +in which I had sailed round the World.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[115]</a></span></p> +<h2>CHAPTER THE FOURTH.</h2> + +<h3>OF THE SINGULAR MISFORTUNES WHICH BEFELL ME +IN HOLLAND.</h3> + + +<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">'Twas</span> no such very bad Title for a Mercantile +Firm, "Vandepeereboom and Dangerous." +Aha, Rogues! will you call me +Pauper, Card-sharper, Led-Captain, Half-penny-Jack, +now? Who but I was +Mynheer Jan van Dangerous? (I took +my Gentility out of my Trunk, as the +Spanish Don did his Sword when the Sun +shone and there were Pistoles galore, and +added the Van as a prefix to which I was +entitled by Lineage.) Who but I was a +wealthy and prosperous Merchant of Amsterdam, +the richest city in Holland? Soon +was I well known and Capped to, as one +that could order wine, and pay for it, at<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[116]</a></span> +the sign of the Amsterdam Wappen, the +great Inn here.</div> + +<p>Although 'tis now nigh thirty years since, +I do preserve the pleasantest remembrance +of my life in the Low Countries; for, albeit +hating the Dutch when I was Poor, I grew +to like 'em as a reputable Merchant Adventurer. +'Twas but a small matter prevented me +from setting up my Coach, and was only +hindered by the fact that the Police Laws of +Amsterdam are very strict against Wheeled +carriages, allowing only a certain and very +small number, lest the rumbling of the +Wheels should disturb the good thrifty +Burghers at their Accompts. For most +vehicles they have what they call a Sley, +which is the body of a Coach fastened on to +a Sledge with ropes, and drawn by one +Horse. A Fellow walks by the side on't, +and holds on with one hand to prevent its +falling over, while with the other he manages +the Reins. A most melancholy Machine +this, moving at the rate of about +Three miles an hour, and makes you think +that you are in a Hospital Conveyance, or<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[117]</a></span> +else going on a Hurdle to be Hanged, +Drawn, and Quartered.</p> + +<p>This Amsterdam is the famous town built +upon Wooden Piles, as is also Petersburg, +and in some order Venice; and from +its Timber supports, gave rise to the sportive +saying of Erasmus when he first came +hither, that he had reached a City where the +Citizens lived, like Crows, upon the tops of +Trees. And again he waggishly compared +Amsterdam to a maimed Soldier, as having +Wooden Legs. This Erasmus was, I conjecture, +a kind of Schoolmaster, and very +learned; but conceited, as are most Bookish +Persons.</p> + +<p>A Dutchman will save any thing; and +this rich place has all come out of saving +the Mud, and starving the Fishes. Here +Traffic is wooed as though she were a +Woman, and Gold is put to bed with Time, +and there is much joy over their Bantling, +which is christened Interest. A strange, +cleanly, money-grubbing Country of Botanic +Gardens and Spitting-pans, universal Industry +and Tobacco-pipes, Gingerbread and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[118]</a></span> +Sawing-mills, Tulip-roots and the Strong +Waters of Schiedam, Cheese, Red Herrings, +and the Protestant Religion. Peculiar to +these People is the functionary called the +Aansprecker, a kind of human Bird of Evil +Omen, who goes about in a long Black +Gown and a monstrous Cocked Hat with a +Crape depending from it, to inform the +Friends and Acquaintances of Genteel Persons +of any one being Dead. This Aansprecker +pays very handsome Compliments +to the Departed, at so many Stuyvers the +Ounce of Butter; and this saves the Dutch +(who are very frugal towards their Dead) +from telling lies upon their Tombstones. +When a Man quits, they wind up his Accounts, +strike a Balance, and go on to a +fresh Folio in the Ledger without carrying +any thing forward. At Marriage-time, also, +is it the custom among Persons of Figure +for the Bride and Bridegroom to send round +Bottles of Wine, generally fine Hock, well +spiced and sugared, and adorned with all +sorts of Ribbons. They have also a singular +mode of airing their Linen and Beds,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[119]</a></span> +by means of what they call a Trokenkorb, +or Fire-basket, which is of the size and +shape of a Magpie's Cage, and within it is +a pan filled with burning Turf, and the +Linen is spread over the Wicker-frame; or, +to air the Bed, the whole Machine is placed +between the Sheets. Nay, there are sundry +Dowager Fraws who do warm their Legs +with this same Trokenkorb, using it as +though it were a footstool; and considering +the quantity of Linsey Woolsey they wear, +I wonder there are not more Fires. To +guard against this last, there are Persons +appointed whose office it is to remain all +day and all night in the Steeples of the +highest Churches; and as soon as they spy +a Flame, they hang out a Flag if it's Day, +or a Lantern if at Night, towards the quarter +where the Fire is, blowing a Trumpet +lustily meanwhile.</p> + +<p>Eating and Drinking here very good, +save the Water, which is so Brackish that +it is not drunk even by the Common People. +There are Water-Merchants constantly +occupied in supplying the City with drink<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[120]</a></span>able +Water, which they bring in Boats from +Utrecht and Germany in large stone Bottles, +that cost you about Eightpence a-piece +English. The Poor, who cannot afford it, +drink Rain-water, which gives rise to the +merry saying, that a Dutchman's Mouth +is for ever open, either to swallow down +Smoke or to drink up Rain. And indeed +they are a wide-gaping Generation.</p> + +<p>Being as yet a Bachelor, I agreed for my +Lodging and Victuals with Mr. Vandepeereboom, +who had a fair House, very +stately, on one of the Canals behind the +Heeren Gragt, or Lord's Street. 'Twould +have had quite a princely appearance, but +for a row of Elms in front, which, with their +fan, almost concealed the Mansion. The +noble look of the House, too, was somewhat +spoilt by its being next door to a +shop where they sold Drugs; which like all +others of this trade in Holland, had for a +sign a huge Carved Head, with the mouth +wide open, in front of the window: sometimes +it rudely resembles a Mercury's Head, +and at other times has a Fool's Cap upon it.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[121]</a></span> +This clumsy sign is called <i>de Gaaper</i>,—the +Gaper,—and I know not the origin of it. +Some of the Shop-boards they call <i>Uithang +Borden</i>, and have ridiculous Verses written +upon them; and 'tis singular to mark how +much of the Jackpudding these Dutchmen, +who are keener than Jews in their Cash-matters, +have in them.</p> + +<p>Mr. Vandepeereboom was high in the +College of Magistrates, and I was ofttimes +privileged to witness with him the administration +of Justice and the infliction of its +Dread Awards,—all here very Decent and +Solemn. The Awful Sentence of Death is +delivered in a room on the basement-floor of +the Stadt House: the entrance through a +massy folding-door covered with brass Emblems, +such as Jove's Beams of Lightning, +and Flaming Swords; above, between the +Rails, are the old and new City Arms; and +at the bottom are Death's Heads and Bones. +The inside of the Hall, mighty handsome, +in white Marble, and proper History pieces +of the Judgment of Solomon, and Zeleucus +the Locrian King tearing out one of his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[122]</a></span> +Eyes to save one of his Son's, and Junius +Brutus putting his children to Death. On +the fore part of the Judgment-seat a fine +Marble Statue of Silence, gallantly, but +quite falsely, represented by the figure of +a Woman on the ground, her finger to her +lips, and two Children by her, Weeping +over a Death's Head. When the dire Doom +of Death is about to be pronounced, the +Criminal is brought into this Hall, guarded; +and nothing is omitted in point of solemnity +to impress on his mind (poor wretch!) and +on those about him the awful consequences +of violating the Laws of the Country; which +is a much better mode, I think, of striking +Terror into 'em than the French way, where +the Magistrates settle the Sentence among +themselves in private, and the <i>Greffier</i> comes +all of a sudden into the unhappy Person's +Cell to tell him that he is to be presently +Executed; or even our Old Bailey fashion +(though the Black Cap is frightful), where +the Culprit is more or less sent to Hang +like a Dog,—one down, another come up; +and Jack Ketch Drunk all the while with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[123]</a></span> +burnt Brandy. 'Twas a thorough knowledge +of Human Nature, too, that thought of +placing this Dutch hall of Justice on the +ground-floor, and its Brazen Door opening +into a common Thoroughfare through the +Stadt House. I never passed by this door +without seeing numbers of the Lower Orders +of people gazing wistfully through the +Rails upon the emblematic objects within, +apparently in Melancholy Meditation, and +reflecting upon the Ignominious Effects of +deviating from the Paths of Virtue.</p> + +<p>Out of the Burgomaster's parlour in the +same building is a passage to the Execution +Chamber, or Hall of the Last Prayers, +where the Condemned take leave of their +Clergy, and pass through a Window, the +lower part of Wood, so that it opens level +with <ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'the the'">the</ins> floor of the Scaffold, which is +constructed on the outside, opposite the +Waag or Weigh House.</p> + +<p>As associate of one of the Magistrates, I +often visited the Dungeons beneath the +Stadt House, which are hermetically Sealed +unto all Strangers. As places of Confine<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[124]</a></span>ment, +nothing can be more secure; as places +of punishment, nothing more Horrible. +Here, by the faint light of a Rush Candle, +you gaze only on Emaciated Figures, while +out of the Dark Shadows issue faint but dismal +Groans. Some are here condemned to +linger for Life; yet have I known convicted +Creatures in this Rat's hole as merry as +French Dancing-Masters, whistling, trolling, +and gambolling in the Dark; while in the +next cell were a number of Women, who, +like the general of their sex when in Durance, +did nothing but Yell and tear their +Clothes to Pieces. But 'tis true that all +confined in these dreadful places had committed +crimes of a very Malignant nature, +and which heartily warranted their being +thus cut off from Light and Air, and immured +in Regions fit only to be Receptacles +for the Dead. Under the Hall of Justice is +likewise the Torture Chamber, where Miserable +Creatures, at the bidding of their Barbarous +Judges, undergo a variety of Torments; +one of which is to fasten the Hands +behind the Neck with a cord through pul<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[125]</a></span>leys +secured to the vaulted Ceiling, so as to +be jerked up and down. Weights of Fifty +Pounds each are then suspended to the Feet, +until anguish overpowers the senses, and a +Confession of Guilt is heard to quiver on the +lips. Public Punishments are inflicted only +Four Times a Year, when a vast Scaffold is +erected in the Space between the Stadt +House and Waag House, as before mentioned. +Those that are only to be Whipped +endure that compliment with Merciless Severity, +and are not permitted to Retire till +those who are to Die have suffered, which is +either by Decapitation or by the Rope. And +this acts as a Warning as to what will happen +to 'em next time. On this occasion the +Chief Magistrates attend in their Robes. +But though Strict, they are mighty Just in +administering their Laws, and will not permit +the least deviation or aggravation of the +Sentence meted out. I did hear of one +jocular Rogue, that was condemned, for the +murder of half-a-dozen women and children, +to have his Head severed from the Trunk at +one stroke of the Sword. This Mynheer<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[126]</a></span> +Merry-Andrew, previous to quitting the +Prayer Chamber, lays a Wager with a +Friend that the Executioner should not be +able to perform his office according to the +exact terms of the Sentence. So, the moment +he knelt to receive the Fatal Stroke, +he rolled his Head in every direction so +violently and rapidly, that the Headsman +could not hit him with any chance of severing +his Neck at once; and after many fruitless +aims, was obliged to renounce the Task. +The Officers who were to see the Sentence +executed were now in a Great Dilemma. In +vain did they try by argument to persuade +the Fellow to remain still, and have his +Head quietly taken off. At last he was +remanded back to Prison, and after an hour's +deliberation the presiding Magistrate, upon +his own Responsibility, ordered the Gallows +to be brought out, and the Fellow to be +straightway Hanged thereupon; which was +done, to the contentment of the Populace, +who were howling with Rage at the fear of +being deprived of their Sport. But the +strait-laced Dutch Judges and Lawyers<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[127]</a></span> +all took alarm, and declared that the Fellow +had been murdered; and nothing but the +high rank and character of the Magistrate +preserved him from grievous consequences.</p> + +<p>They observe, however, degrees in their +Punishments, and are, even in extreme +cases, averse from Bloodshed, and willing to +try all ways with a criminal before Hanging +or Beheading him. Thus have they their +famous Rasphuys for the Confinement and +Correction of those whose Crimes are not +capital. Over the Gate are some insignificant +painted wooden figures, representing +Rogues sawing Log-wood, and Justice holding +a Rod over them; and the like of these, +with figures of scourging and branding, they +stick up in their Public Walks and Gardens, +to show what is Done to those who pluck the +Flowers or carve Names upon the Trunks of +the Trees, and it has a most wholesome effect +in frightening Evil-doers. So in the Yard +of the Rasphuys is a Whipping-post in Terrorem, +with another little figure of Justice +flagrant with Execution. Here the Rogues +saw Campeachy-wood, which seems to be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[128]</a></span> +most toilsome work; and yet by practice +they can saw Two Hundred Pounds' weight +every week with ease, and also make many +little Articles in Straw, Wood, Bone, and +Copper, to sell to Visitors. They are all +clad in White Woollen, which, when they +are stained with the Red Sawdust, gives +them a Hobgoblin kind of appearance. +Here too, in a corner of the Yard, they +show the Cell in which if the person who +was confined in it did not incessantly Pump +out the Water let into it, he must inevitably +be Drowned; but this Engine, the Gaolers +said, had not been used for many Years, +and was only kept up as an object of +Terror.</p> + +<p>In the east quarter of Amsterdam, Justice +is administered in its mildest form; there +being the Workhouse close to the Muider +Gragt, a place which, I believe, has not its +parallel in the whole World. 'Tis partly +Correctional and partly Charitable; and +when I saw it, there were Seven Hundred and +Fifty Persons within the Walls, the yearly +expense being about One Hundred Thou<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[129]</a></span>sand +Florins. In the rooms belonging to +the Governors and Directresses some exquisite +Paintings by Van Dyck, Rembrandt, +and Jordaens; and, indeed, you can go +scarcely any where in Holland, from a Pig-stye +to a Palace, without finding Paintings. +Here, in a vast room very cleanly kept, are +an immense number of Women occupied in +Sewing and Spinning. Among them I saw +once a fine hearty-looking Irishwoman, who +had been Confined here two whole Years, +for being a little more fond of true Schiedam +Gin than her lawful Spouse. In another +vast Apartment, secured by many Iron Railings +and Grated Windows, are the Female +Convicts in the highest state of Discipline, +and very industriously and silently engaged +in making Lace, under the superintendence +of a Governess. From the Walls of the +Boom are suspended Instruments of Punishment, +such as Scourges, Gags, and Manacles, +the which are not spared upon the slightest +appearance of Insubordination. Then there +are Wards for the Men, Schoolrooms for a +vast number of Children, and Dormitories,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[130]</a></span> +all in the highest state of Neatness. In +another part of the Building, which only +the Magistrates are permitted to visit, are +usually detained ten or a dozen Young Ladies—some +of very high Families—sent here by +their Parents or Friends for undutiful Deportment, +or some other Domestic Offence. +They are compelled to wear a particular +Dress as a mark of Degradation; are kept +apart; forced to work a certain number of +hours a day; and are occasionally Whipped. +Here, too, upon complaints of Extravagance, +Tipsiness, &c., duly proved, can Husbands +send their Wives, to be confined and receive +the Discipline of the House; <i>and hither, too, +can Wives send their Husbands for the same +Cause, for Two, Three, and Four Years together, +till they show signs of amended Behaviour</i>. +The Food is abundant, and good; but the +Work is hard, and the Stripes are many. +Might not such a course be tried with +advantage in England, to abate and cure +the frivolities and extravagances of Fashionable +People?</p> + +<p>So then, as an Honourable Merchant in a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[131]</a></span> +city and country where Commerce is reckoned +among the noblest of Pursuits, I might, but +for my Perverse Fate, have grown Rich, and +taken unto myself a Dutch Wife, and had a +Brood of little Broad-beamed Children, that +should smoke their Tobacco and quaff their +Schiedam, even from their Cradle upwards. +Indeed, Madam Vanderkipperhaerin of +Gouda (the place where the Cows feed in the +Meadows clad in Blue-striped Jackets and +Petticoats) was pleased to look upon me with +Eyes of Favour, and often said it was a Sin +and Shame that such a Proper Man as I (as +she was good enough to say) was not Married +and Settled. And, indeed, why not? I ofttimes +asked myself. I had Florins, Guilders, +and Stuyvers in abundance; my Partner was +a Magistrate, and well reputed worthy: why +should I not give Hostages to Fortune, and +have done for good and all with the Life of +a Roving Bachelor? By this time (although +by no means forgetting my own dear native +Tongue) I spoke French with Ease and +Fluency, if not with Grammatical correctness; +and had likewise an indifferently<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[132]</a></span> +copious acquaintance with the Hollands +Dialect. Why should not I be a Magistrate, +a Burgomaster? Madam Vanderkipperhaerin +was Rich, and had a beautiful Summer +Villa all glistening with Bee's-waxed +Campeachy-wood and Polished Brass on the +River Amstel, some three miles from the +City. She had a whole Cabinet full of +Ostades and Jan Steens in ebony frames, and +a Side-board of Antique Plate that might +have made Cranbourn Alley jealous. Why +did not I avail myself of the many Propitious +Moments that offered, and demand the Hand +of that most respectable Dutch Dame.</p> + +<p>The Melancholy Truth is, that she chose +to be jealous of Betje, Mr. Vandepeereboom's +comely Housekeeper, upon whom I +declare that I had never cast any thing but +innocently Paternal Glances, and utterly +deny that I ever foregathered with that +young Fraw. She was for moving Mr. Vandepeereboom +to have Betje sent to the Workhouse, +there to be set to Spinning, and to +receive the usual unhandsome Treatment; +and when he refused,—having, in truth, no<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[133]</a></span> +fault to find with the Poor Girl,—Madam, +in a Huff, withdrew her Countenance and +Favour from me, and, with sundry of her +spiteful gossips, revived the old Story of my +having several Wives alive in different parts +of Europe and the New World. Surely +there was never yet a man so exposed to +calumny as poor John Dangerous!</p> + +<p>Then, to make matters worse, there came +that sad Affair of the Beguine. Flesh and +blood! a mortal man (I suppose) is not to +be reckoned among the vilest of Humanity +because he falls in Love. How could I help +Wilhelmina van Praag being a Beguine? +Moreover, a Beguine is not a Nun. The +Beguines belong to a modified kind of +Monastic Order. They reside in a large +House with a wall and ditch around it, and +that has a Church and Hospital inside, and +is for all the world like a little Town. But +the Sisterhood is perfectly secular; they +mingle with the inhabitants of the city, quit +the Convent when they choose, and even +marry when they are so minded; but they +are obliged, so long as they belong to the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[134]</a></span> +Order, to attend Prayers a certain number +of times a day, and to be within the Convent-walls +at a stated hour every evening. To +be admitted to this Order, they must be +either unmarried or widows without children; +and the only certificate required of them is +that of Good Behaviour, and that they have +a Competence to live upon. You may ask, +if this almost entire Liberty be granted +them, what there was to hinder Mynheer +Jan van Dangerous and the Fair Beguine +Wilhelmina van Praag from coming together +as Man and Wife? Wilhelmina was the +comeliest Creature (save one) that I have +ever seen; and, but that she was a little +Stout, would have passed as the living model +for the St. Catherine which Signor Raphael +the Painter did so well in Oils. I don't +think I loved her; but she took my Fancy +immensely, and meeting her in the houses +of divers Honourable Families in Amsterdam, +'tis not to be concealed that I courted +her with much assiduity. This, by some +mischief-making Persons, was held to be +highly compromising to the Fair Beguine.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[135]</a></span> +For all that I had become a Grave Merchant, +there was yet somewhat of the Gentleman +of the Sword and Adventurer on the High +Seas about me; and a great hulking Cousin +of the young Fraw, that was a Lieutenant +in their High Mightinesses Land Forces,—the +Amphibious Grenadiers I call 'em, +and more used to Salt-water than Salt-petre,—must +needs challenge me to the +Duello. The laws against private warfare +being very strict in Holland, we were +obliged to make a journey into Austrian +Flanders, to Arrange our Difficulty; and +meeting on the borders of the Duchy of +Luxembourg, I—Well, is Jack Dangerous +to be blamed for that he was, in the prime +of Life, an approved Master of Fence?</p> + +<p>The Lieutenant being dead of his Wounds +(received in perfectly fair fight), the whole +City of Amsterdam must needs cry out that +I had murdered the Man; and the Families +who had once been eager to receive me +turned their backs upon me. Then the +Fair Beguine must go into a craze; and, +upon my word, when I heard how Mad she<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[136]</a></span> +was, and how they had been obliged to shut +her up in the Hospital, I could not help +thinking of the History of my Grandmother, +and did mistrust meeting the young Fraw +van Praag again (for she was very Sweet, +I believe, with the Spark that forced me to +fight with him), for fear that she should +Pistol me. But she did not; and Recovered, +to marry a very Wealthy Shipmaster named +Druyckx.</p> + +<p>While this Ugly Business was the talk of +all tongues (but Mr. Vandepeereboom +clapped me on the Shoulder, and bade me +take my Diversion while he minded Business, +for that all would Blow Over soon), I took +an Excursion ('twas in the third year of my +Residence here) into North Holland, to visit +the famous village of Brock. Here the +streets are divided by little Rivulets, for all +the world like Lilliputian Canals; the Houses +and Summer-houses all of Wood, painted +Green and White, very handsome, albeit +whimsical in their shape, and scrupulously +neat. The Inhabitants have a peculiar association +among themselves, and scarcely<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[137]</a></span> +ever admit a Stranger within their Doors. +During my stay I only saw the Faces of two +of 'em, and then only by a stealthy Peep. +They are said to be very rich, and in some +of their Kitchens to have Pots and Pans of +solid Gold. The Shutters of the Windows +always kept closed, and the Householders go +to and fro by a Back Door, the Principal +Entrance being opened only at Marriages +and Deaths. The Street Pavement all set +out with Pebbles and Cockleshells, and no +Dogs or Cats were seen to trespass upon +it; and formerly there was a law to oblige +all Passengers to take off their Shoes. +Here it was that a Man was once Convened +and Reprimanded for Sneezing in the +Streets; and, latterly, a Parson, I heard, +upon being appointed to fill the Church on +the Demise of an old Predecessor, gave great +offence to his Flock for not taking off his +Shoes when he ascended the Pulpit. The +Gardens of this strange Village produce Deer, +Dogs, Peacocks, Chairs, and Ladders, all cut +out in Box. I never saw such a Museum of +vegetable Statuary in my Life before. On<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[138]</a></span> +the whole, Brock resembles a trim, sprightly +Ball-room, all garnished, lighted up, and the +floor well chalked, but not a Soul to Scrape +Fiddle or Foot Minuet. Farther from here +is Saardam, which, at a distance, looks like +a City of Windmills.</p> + +<p><i>Item.</i>—I forgot to say, that at Brock +they tie up the Cows' Tails with Blue +Ribbons.</p> + +<p>The Houses of Saardam are principally +built of Wood, and every one has a Fantastic +kind of Baby Garden. Here is the +Wooden Hut where Peter the Great lived, +when he wrought as a Shipwright in the +Navy-yard. It stands in a Garden, and is +in Decent Preservation. The women in +North Holland are said to be handsomer than +in any other part of the country; but I was +out of taste with Beauty when I came +hither, and could see naught but ugly +Faces.</p> + +<p>So, coming back to Amsterdam, I found that +Mr. Vandepeereboom's Prediction was fulfilled +with a Vengeance, and with Compound +Interest. The Business of the Beguine had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[139]</a></span> +Blown Over; but another affair had Blown +On, and this very speedily ended in a Blow +Up. I am sorry to say that this Fairspoken +and seemingly Reputable Mr. Vandepeereboom +turned out to be a very Great Rogue. +Our Firm was in the Batavian trade, dealing +in fine Spices, Nutmegs, Cloves, Mace, Cinnamon, +and so forth; also in Rice, Cotton, +and Pepper; and especially in the Java +Coffee, which is held to be second only to +that of Arabia. In this branch of Trade +the Dutch have no competition, and they +are able to keep the price of their Spices as +high as they choose, by ordering what remains +unsold at the price they have fixed +upon it to be Burnt. How it came to pass +that the Spice Ships consigned to us were +all wrecked on the High Seas and never +insured; that the Batavian Merchants, to +whom we advanced money on their Consignments, +all failed dismally; that every Speculation +we entered into went against us, and +that we always burnt our Surplus Goods +just as prices were about to rise,—I know +not; but certain it is, that I had not been<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[140]</a></span> +three weeks back in Amsterdam before the +House of Vandepeereboom and Dangerous +went Bankrupt. Now 'tis an ugly thing to +be Bankrupt in Holland. The people are +so thrifty and persevering, and so jealous of +keeping their Engagements, that the very +rarity of Insolvency makes it Scandalous. +A Trading Debtor being a character very +seldom to be met with, he is held in more +Odium in Holland than in any other part of +Europe. Yet are their Laws of Arrest +milder than with us in England, where for +a matter of Forty Shillings an Honest Man +becomes the prey of a Catchpole, and for +years after he has paid the Debt itself, with +exorbitant Costs to some Knavish Limb of +the Law, may still continue to Rot in Gaol +for the Keeper's Fees or Garnish. Here, +if the Debtor be a Citizen or Registered +Burgher (as I was), he is not subject to +have his Person seized at the suit of his +Creditors, until three regular Summonses +have been duly served upon him to appear +in the Court, which Processes are completed +in about a month; after which, if he does<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[141]</a></span> +not obey it, he may be laid hold of, but only +when he has quitted his House; for in +Holland a Man's Dwelling is held even +more sacred than in England, and no Writ +or Execution whatever is capable of being +served upon him so long as he keeps close, +or even if he stands on the threshold of his +Home. In this Sanctuary he may set at +Defiance every Claimant; but if he have the +Hardihood to appear Abroad, the Sergeants +collar him forthwith. But even in this case +he goes not to a common Gaol or Prison for +Felons, but to a House of Restriction, where +he is properly entreated, and maintained +with Liberal Humanity; the Expense of +which, as well as the Proceedings, must all +be defrayed by the Creditors. This regards +only the private Gentleman Debtor; but +woe betide the Fraudulent Trader! The +Bankrupt Laws of Holland differ from ours +in this respect, that all the Creditors must +sign the Debtor's Certificate, or Agreement +of Liberation. If any decline, the Ground +of their Refusal is submitted to Arbitrators, +who decide as to the merits of the case; and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[142]</a></span> +if the Broken Merchant be found to be a +Cheat, no Mercy is shown him. The Rasphuys, +the Pillory, nay, even the Dungeons +beneath the Stadt House, may be his +Doom.</p> + +<p>This, Mr. Vandepeereboom (being a born +Dutchman) knew very well; and he waited +neither for Deliberations as to his Certificate, +nor for Arbitrators' award. He e'en showed +his Creditors a clean Pair of Heels, and took +Shipping for Harwich in England. I +believe he afterwards prospered exceedingly +in London as a Crimp, or Purveyor of Men +for the Sea-Service, and submitted to the +East India Company many notable plans +for injuring the Commerce of the Hollanders. +I have likewise reason to think that he did +me a great deal of harm amongst my late +Owners at Bristol and elsewhere, saying that +I had been the Ruin of him with Wasteful +Extravagance and Deboshed Ways, and that +but for his Intercession I should have been +Broken on the Wheel for unhandsome +Behaviour to the Fair Beguine. Ere he +flitted, he left me a Letter, in which he had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[143]</a></span> +the Impudence to tell me that he had long +since drawn out my Account from the Bank +of Amsterdam, thinking himself much better +able to take care of the Money than I was. +Furthermore he contemptuously advised me +to try some other line than Commerce, for +which I was, through my Former Career—or +Vagabond Habits, as he had the face to +call it—in no wise Fitted. Finally, he +ironically wished me a Good Deliverance +from the hands of the Assessors of the Commercial +Tribunal, and, with a Devilish Sneer, +recommended his Housekeeper Betje to my +care. O Mr. Vandepeereboom, Mr. Vandepeereboom! +if ever we meet again, old as I +am, there shall be Weeping in Holland for +you—if, indeed, there be anybody left to +shed tears for such a Worthless Rascal.</p> + +<p>This most Dishonest Person, however, did +me unwittingly a trifle of good, and at all +events saved me from Gyves and Stripes. +That Passage of his in the Letter about my +Funds in the Bank of Amsterdam was my +Deliverance. 'Twas widely known that I +was but a simple Seafaring Man, unused to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[144]</a></span> +Mercantile Affairs, and that I had really +brought with me the considerable Sum of +Twenty Hundred Pounds. I was arrested, +it is true, and lay for many Months in the +House of Restriction; but interest was +made for me, and the Creditors of the +Broken House agreed to sign a Certificate of +Liberation. I believe that but for that +mournful business of the Beguine, and for +that confounded Officer that I sworded, some +of the Wealthy Merchants would have subscribed +to an Association for setting me up +again; but that Rencounter was remembered +to my hurt, and, says Mynheer van +Bommel, when he brought me my Certificate, +"Hark ye, Friend Englander; you are +Free this time. Take my advice, and get +you out of Holland as quick as ever you +can; for their High Mightinesses, to say +nothing of the Worshipful Burgomasters of +this City, have a misliking for Men that are +too quick with the Sword and too slow with +the Pen; and if you don't speedily mend +your way of Life, and bid farewell to this +Country, you will find yourself sawing of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[145]</a></span> +Campeachy-wood at the Rasphuys, with +Dirk Juill, the Beadle, standing over you +with a Thong." Upon which I thanked +him heartily; and he had the Generosity to +lend me Fifty Florins to furnish my present +needs.</p> + +<p>I was no longer a Young Man. I was +now long past my fortieth year, again almost +a Pauper, Friendless and Unknown in the +World; yet did I feel Undaunted, and confident +that Better Days were in store for me. +Pouching my Fifty Florins, I first followed +the Burgomaster's advice by getting out of +Holland as quick as ever I could, and betook +myself by Treyckshuyt and Stage Wagon to +the city of Bruxelles in Brabant. Here I +abode for some months in the house of a +clean Widow-woman that was a Walloon, +who, finding that I was English, and, besides, +a very tolerable French Scholar, procured +me several Pupils among the Tradesfolk +in the neighbourhood of the Petit Sablon +(hard by the Archduchess Governante's Palace), +where I dwelt on a Sixth Floor. By +degrees I did so increase my number of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[146]</a></span> +Pupils, that I was able to open a School of +some thirty Lads and Lasses. To both +indifferently I taught the Languages, with +Writing and Accompts; while for the instruction +of the latter in Needlework and +other Feminine Accomplishments I engaged +my Landlady's Daughter, a comely Maiden, +albeit Red-haired, and very much pitted with +the Small-pox. Figure to yourself Captain +Jack Dangerous turned Dominie! I am +venturesome enough to believe that I was a +very passable Pedagogue; and of this I am +certain, that I was entirely beloved by my +Scholars. The sufferings I had undergone +while a Captive in the hands of that Barbarous +Wretch, Gnawbit, had never been +effaced from my Memory, and had made me +infinitely tender towards little Children. +Indeed I could scarcely bear to use the +Ferula to them, or nip 'em with a Fescue, +much less to untruss and Scourge 'em, as 'tis +the brutal fashion of Pedants to do; nor do +I think, though I disobeyed Solomon's +maxim, and Spared the Rod, that I did much +towards Spoiling any Child that was under<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[147]</a></span> +my care. I made Learning easy and pleasant +to my Youngsters, by telling them all +sorts of moving and marvellous Stories, +drawn from what Books of History I had +handy (and these I admit I coloured a little, +to suit the Imaginations of the Young), +and others concerning my own remarkable +Adventures, in which, however extraordinary +they seemed, I always took care to adhere +strictly to the Truth, only suppressing that +which it was not proper for Youth and Innocence +to be made acquainted with.</p> + +<p>But Schoolkeeping is a tiresome trade. +One cannot be at it day and night too; and +a Man must have some place to Divert himself +in, when the toils of the day are over. +I found out a Coffee-House in the Rue de +Merinos, or Spaan Scheep Straet, as the +Flemings call it, in strange likeness to our +tongue, and there, over my Tobacco, made +some strange Acquaintance. There was one +De Suaso, an Empiric, that had writ against +the English College of Physicians, and was +like to have made a Fortune by his famous +Nostrum for the Gout, <i>the Sudorific Expulsive<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[148]</a></span> +Mixture</i>; but that Scheme had fallen through, +it having been discovered that the Mixture +was naught but Quicksilver and Suet, +which made the Patients perspire indeed, +but turned 'em all, to the very Silver in their +Pockets, as Black as Small-Coal Men. Now, +he had become a kind of Pedlar, selling +Handkerchiefs made at Amsterdam, in imitation +of those of Naples, with Women's +Gloves, Fans, Essences, and Pomatums—and +in fact all the Whim-Whams that are +known in the Italian trade as <i>Galanterie le +più curiose di Venezia e di Milano</i>. But his +prime trade was in Selling of Snuff, for the +choicer sorts of which there was at that time +a perfect Rage among the Quality, both of +the Continent and of England. This De +Suaso used to Laugh, and say that the best +venture he had ever made was from a Parcel +of Snuff so bad and rotten, that he was +about to send it back to the Hamburg +Merchant who had sold it him, when one +day, plying at the chief Coffee-House, as +was his wont, my Lord Hautgoustham, an +English Nobleman, desired him to fill his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[149]</a></span> +box with the choicest Snuff he had. Thinking +my Lord really a Judge, he gives him +some undeniable <i>Bouquet Dauphine</i>; but the +Peer would have none of it. Then he tries +him with one Mixture after another, but +always unsuccessfully; until at last he bethinks +him of the Musty Parcel he has at +home, and accordingly, having fetched some +of that, returns to the Coffee-House, and +says that he has indeed a Snuff of extraordinary +Smell and Taste, but that 'tis extravagantly +dear. Lord Hautgoustham tries +it, and calls out in an ecstasy that 'tis the +most beautiful Snuff he ever put to his Nose. +He bought a Pound of it, for which De +Suaso charged him at the moderate rate of +Four Guineas; and desires to know his +Lodging, that he may send his Friends to +buy some of this Incomparable Mixture. +The Artful Rogue then affects the Coy, says +that his Stock of the Snuff is very low, and +by degrees raises his price to Eleven Pistoles +a Pound, until the English in Brussels have +been half-poisoned with his filthy Remnant; +when there comes upon the scene a certain<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[150]</a></span> +Mr. Dubiggin, a rich old English Merchant +of the Caraccas, who knew all kinds of Snuff +as well as a Yorkshire Tyke knows Horses; +and he, telling the Nobleman and his Friends +how they have been duped, my Lord Hautgoustham, +who was of a hot temper, makes +no more ado, but kicks this unhappy De +Suaso half way down the Montagne de la +Cour.</p> + +<p>Here, too, I made an Acquaintance who +was afterwards the means of working me +much Mischief. This was one Ferdinando +Carolyi, that said he was a Styrian, but spoke +most Tongues, and was a thoroughly accomplished +Rascal. He had been a painter of +Flower-pieces, and from what I could learn +had also made the Mill to go in the way of +coining False Money; but at the time I +knew him was all for the occult Science called +the Cabala. He showed me a whole chestful +of Writings at his Lodgings—which were +very mean—and declared that he had invented +a perfect and particular System, which +he called the Astronomical Terrestrial Cabala. +He had run through the whole Pen<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[151]</a></span>tateuch, +and had reduced to the Signs of the +Zodiac the words of such Scripture Verses as +answered to the same; one to Aries, the second +to Taurus, the third to Gemini, and the +like. In short, there appeared a kind of +Harmony in 'em, particularly when the Terrestrial +Cabala (which was of the Dryest) +was moistened with a flask or two of good +old Rhenish. The whole of this contrivance +was to tend towards the Discovery of the +Philosopher's Stone. He pretended by these +Astronomical Figures to have penetrated into +the most essential Arcana of Nature, and all +the necessary operations for attaining the +<i>Elixir Philosophorum</i>, or some such word. +But this Carolyi had such a winning Way +with him, that he would well-nigh have +talked a Donkey's Hind-leg off. He began to +tell me about Peter of Lombardy and the +great adept Zacharias, and of the blessed +Terra Foliata, or Land of Leaves, where Gold +is sown to be radically Dissolved in order to +its Putrefaction and Regermination in a +Fixation which has Power over its Brethren +the Imperfect Metals, and makes them like<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[152]</a></span> +unto itself; and this process (which I believe +to have been only a story about a Cock and +a Bull) he called Re-incrudation. In fact +my Gentleman almost talked me out of my +Senses: and as I thought him a monstrous +clever Man, I lent him (although my Purse +was as lean as might be) half-a-score of +Austrian Ducats, to carry out his experiments +in the Universal Menstruum. Alas! +I never saw my Ducats nor my Alchemist +again. A week after I had lent him the +money, he fled on a suspicion of Base Coin; +and I had hard work to persuade the Officers +of Justice that I had not a hand in his Malpractices. +As it was, nearly all my Scholars +fell away from my School; and the Impudent +Flemings sneered at me as <i>Mozzoo +Kabala</i>,—in their barbarous Lingo,—and I +was pointed out in the streets as a Wizard, +a Fortune-teller, a Cunning Man, and what +not. So that I was fain, after about ten +years' sojourn at Bruxelles, to call in my +Dues, gather my few Effects together, and +bidding farewell to Flanders, proceed to Paris. +It was time; for the Priests were up in arms<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[153]</a></span> +against me as a Heretic Outlaw, dealing in +Magic. The Black Gentry are hereabouts +very Bigoted; and although they have no +Inquisition, would, I doubt not, have led +me a sorry Life, but for my Discretion +in timely Flitting.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[154]</a></span></p> +<h2>CHAPTER THE FIFTH.</h2> + +<h3>OF A STRANGE AND HORRIBLE ADVENTURE I HAD +IN PARIS, WHICH WAS NEARLY MY UNDOING.</h3> + + +<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">The</span> Manner of its Coming About was this. +I arrived in Paris very Poor and Miserable, +and was for some days (when that which I +brought with me was spent) almost destitute +of Bread. At last, hearing that some Odd +Hands were wanted at the Opera-House to +caper about in a new Ballet upon the Story +of Orpheus, the Master of the Tavern where +I Lodged, who had been a Property-Master +at the Theatres, and entertained many of the +Playing Gentry, made interest for me, as +much to keep me from Starving as to put me +in the way of earning enough money to pay +my Score to him. For I have found that +there never was in this world a man so Poor<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[155]</a></span> +but he could manage to run into Debt. In +virtue of his Influence, I, who had never so +much as stood up in a polite Minuet in my +life, and knew no more of Dancing than +sufficed to foot it on a Shuffleboard at a +Tavern to the tune of Green Sleeves, was +engaged at the wages of one Livre ten Sols +a night to be a Mime in the same Ballet. +But 'twas little proficiency in Dancing they +wanted from me. One need not have +been bound 'prentice to a Hackney Caper-Merchant +to play one of the Furies that +hold back Eurydice, and vomit Flames +through a Great Mask. They gave me a +Monstrous Dress, akin to the <i>San Benitos</i> +which are worn by the poor wretches who +are burnt by the Inquisition; and my flame-burning +was done by an Ingenious Mechanical +Contrivance, that had a most delectable +effect, albeit the Fumes of the Sulphur +half-choked me. And they did not +ask for any Characters for their Furies. I +tumbled and vomited Flames for at least +thirty nights, when one evening, standing +at the Side-Scenes waiting for my turn to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[156]</a></span> +come on, it chanced that the light gauzy +Coats of a pretty little Dancing-girl, that was +playing a Dryad in the Wood where Orpheus +charms the Beast, caught Fire. I think +'twas the Candle fell out of the Moon-box, +and so on to her Drapery; but, at all events, +she was Alight, and ran about the Scene, +screaming piteously. The poor little +cowardly wretches her Companions all ran +away in sheer terror; and as for the two +Musqueteers of the Guard who stood sentry +at each side of the Proscenium, one dastard +Losel fell on his Marrow-bones and began +bawling for his Saints, whilst the other, a +more active Craven, drops his musket and +bayonet with a clang, and clambers into the +Orchestra, hitting out right and left among +the Fiddlers, and very nearly tumbling into +the Big Drum. All this took much less +time to pass than I have taken to relate; +but as quick as thought I rushed on to the +stage, seized hold of the little Dancing-girl, +tripped her up, and rolling her over and over +on the Boards, I encompassed her till the +flames were Extinguished. Luckily there<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[157]</a></span> +was no Harm done. She was Bruised all +over, and one of her pretty little Elbows +was scratched; but that was all. One of +the Gentlemen of the King's Chamber came +round from his Box; and the Sardinian +Ambassador sends round at once a Purse of +Fifty Pistoles, and an offer for her to become +his Madam; "For I should like one," his +Excellency said, "that had been half-roasted. +All these Frenchwomen look as though +they had been boiled." When the Little +Girl was brought to her Dressing-room, and +had somewhat recovered from her Fright, +she began to thank me, her Preserver, as +she called me, with great Fervour and +Vehemence; yet did I fancy that, although +her words were excellently well chosen, she +spoke with somewhat of an English Accent. +And indeed she proved to be English. She +was the Daughter of one Mr. Lovell, an +English Gentleman of very fair extraction, +who had been unfortunately mixed up in +the troubles of the Forty-five; and having +been rather a dangerous Plotter, and so excepted +from the Act of Oblivion, had been<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[158]</a></span> +fain to reside in Paris ever since, picking up +a Crust as he could by translating, teaching +of the Theorbo and Harpsichord, and suchlike +sorry Shifts. But he was very well +connected, and had powerful friends among +the French Quality. He was now a very +old man, but of a most Genteel Presence +and Majestic Carriage. The Little Girl's +name—she was now about Eighteen years +old—was Lilias, and she was the only one. +As she had a marvellous turn for Dancing, +old Mr. Lovell had (in the stress of his +Affairs) allowed her to be hired at the Opera +House, where she received no less than a +Hundred Ecus a month; but he knew too +well what mettle Gentlemen of the King's +Chamber and Musqueteers of the Guard +were made of; and every night after the +Performance he came down to the Theatre +to fetch her—his Hat fiercely cocked, and +his long Sword under his arm. So that +none dared follow or molest her. And I +question even, if he had heard of the Ambassador's +offer, whether the old Gentleman<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[159]</a></span> +would not have demanded Satisfaction from +his Excellency for that slight.</div> + +<p>When I discovered that this dear little +Creature, who was as fair as her name and +as good as gold, was my Countrywoman, I +made bold to tell her that I was English +too; whereupon she Laughed, and in her +sweet manner expressed her wonder that I +had come to be playing a Fury at the +French Opera House. I chose to keep my +Belongings private for the nonce; so the +old Gentleman, treating me as an honest +fellow of Low Degree, presented me with +ten Livres, which I accepted, nothing loth, +and the Theatre People even made a purse +for me amounting to Fifty more. So that +I got as rich as a Jew, and was much in +favour with my Landlord. But, better than +all, the Little Girl, as I was her Preserver, +insisted that I should be her Protector too; +and old Mr. Lovell being laid up very bad +with the rheumatism, I was often privileged +to attend her home after the Theatre, walking +respectfully a couple of paces behind +her, and grasping a stout Cudgel. Father<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[160]</a></span> +and Daughter lived in the Impasse Mauvaise +Langue, Rue des Moineaux, behind St. +Rogue's Church; and often when I had got +my precious charge home, she would press +me to stop to supper, the which I took very +humbly at a side table, and listened to the +stories of old Mr. Lovell (who was very +garrulous) about the Forty-five. "Bless his +old heart," thought I; "I could tell him +something about the Forty-five that would +astonish him."</p> + +<p>'Twas one night after leaving the Impasse +Mauvaise Langue that, feeling both cold +and dry, I turned into a Tavern that was +open late, for a measure of Hot Spiced +Wine, as a Night-cap. There was no one +there, beyond the People of the House, save +a man in a Drugget coat, a green velveteen +Waistcoat, red plush Nethers, and a flapped +Hat, all very Worn and Greasy. He was +about my own age, and wore his own Hair; +but the most remarkable thing about him +was his Face. I never saw such a Red +Face. 'Twas a hundred times more fiery +than that of Bardolph in the Play. 'Twas<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[161]</a></span> +more glowing than a Salamander's. 'Twas +redder than Sir Robert Walpole's (the +great Whig Minister who, in my youth, +was called by the Common "Brandy-faced +Bob!"). This man's Face was most terribly +puffed and swollen, and the veins +all injected with purplish Blood. The +tips of his Ears were like two pendant +Carbuncles. His little bloodshot Eyes +seemed starting from their Sockets, while +the Cheeks beneath puffed out like Pillows +for his Orbits to rest upon. Not +less worthy of remark was it that this +Red-faced Man's Lips were of a tawny +White. He was for ever scrabbling with +his hands among his tufted Locks, and +pressing them to his Temples, as though +his Head pained him—which there was +reason to believe it did.</p> + +<p>This strange Person was, when I entered +the Wine-shop, in hot Dispute with the +Master about some trifling Liquor Score. +He would not Pay, he said; no, not he. +He had been basely Robbed and Swindled. +He had plenty of Money, but he would not<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[162]</a></span> +disburse a Red Liard. He showed, indeed, +a Leathern Purse with two or three Gold +Pieces in it, and smaller Money; but declared +that he would Die sooner than disburse. +And as he said this, he drew out of +his pocket a long Clasp-Knife, two-bladed; +and opening it, brandished it about, and +said they had better let him go, or Worse +would come of it.</p> + +<p>The Master of the Tavern and his Wife, +decent bodies both, were wofully frightened +at the behaviour of this Desperado; but I +was not to be frightened by such Racketing. +I bade him put up his Toothpick, giving +him at the same time a Back-Hander, which +drove him into a Corner, where he crouched, +snarling like a Wild-beast, but offering to +do me no hurt. Then I asked what the +To-do was about, and was told that he stood +indebted but for Eight Sols, for Half a Litre +of Wine, and that they could not account +for his Fury. The Man was evidently not +in Liquor, which was strange.</p> + +<p>These good people were so flustered at +the Man's uncommon Demeanour, that, see<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[163]</a></span>ing +I was Strong and Valiant, they begged +me to take him away. This I did, first discharging +his Reckoning; for as he had +Money about him, I doubted not but that +he would recoup me. I got him into the +Street (which was close to the Market of the +Innocents, and I lived in the Street of the +Ancient Comedy, t'other side of the River), +and asked him where he was going.</p> + +<p>"To get a Billet of Confession," he made +answer.</p> + +<p>"Stuff and Nonsense!" I answered, in +the French Tongue. "They sell them not +at this Hour of Night. Where do you +live?"</p> + +<p>"In the Parvis of Notre Dame," says he, +staring like a Stuck Pig. "O Arnault! O +Jansenius! O Monsieur de Paris! all this +is your fault!"</p> + +<p>And he lugs out of his Pocket a ragged +Sheet of Paper, which he said was the last +Mandement or Charge of the Archbishop of +Paris, and was for reading it to me by the +Moonlight; but I stopped him short. I +had heard in a vague manner that the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[164]</a></span> +Public Mind was just then much agitated +by some Dispute between the Clergy and +the Parliament concerning Billets or Certificates +of Confession; but they concerned +neither me nor the Opera House. Besides, +an Hour after Midnight is not the time for +reading Archbishops' Charges in the Public +Streets.</p> + +<p>"'Tis my belief, Brother," I said, as +soothingly as I could, "that you'd better +go Home, and tie a Wet Clout round your +Head; or, better still, hie to a Chirurgeon +and be let Blood. Have you e'er a +Home?"</p> + +<p>He began to tell me that his Name was +<span class="smcap">Robert François Damiens</span>; that he had +come from Picardy; that he had been a +Stableman, a Locksmith, a Camp-follower, +and a Servant at the College of Louis-le-Grand; +that he had a Wife who was a Cook +in a Noble Family, and a Daughter who +coloured Prints for a Seller of Engravings. +In short, he told me all save what I desired +to know. And in the midst of his rambling<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[165]</a></span> +recital he stops, and claps his Hand to his +Forehead again.</p> + +<p>"What ails you?" I asked.</p> + +<p>"<i>C'est le Sang, c'est le Sang qui me monte +à la Tête!</i>" cries he. "<i>La Faute est à Monseigneur +et à son Mandement. Je périrai; +mais les Grands de la Terre périront avec +moi.</i>"<a name="FNanchor_B_2" id="FNanchor_B_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_B_2" class="fnanchor">[B]</a></p> + +<p>And with this Bedlamite Speech he broke +away from me,—for I had kept a slight hold +of him,—and set off Running as hard as +his legs could carry him.</p> + +<p>I concluded that this Red-faced Man +must be some Mad Fellow just escaped out +of Charenton; and, having other Fish to +fry, let him follow his own devices. Whereupon +I kindled a Pipe of Tobacco, and went +home to Bed.</p> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[166]</a></span></p> +<p>Two days after this (March, 1757), the +whole Troop of the Opera House were commanded +to Versailles, there to perform the +Ballet of Orpheus before Mesdames the +King's Daughters. I had by this time received +slight Promotion, and played the +Dog Cerberus,—at which my dear little +Angel of a Lilias made much mirth. His +Majesty was to have waited at Versailles +for the playing of the Piece; but after +Dinner he changes his mind, and determines +on returning to his other Palace of +Trianon.</p> + +<p>'Twas about Five o'clock in the Afternoon, +and there was a great Crowd in the +Court of Marble to see the Most Christian +King take Coach for Trianon. The Great +Court was full of Gardes Françaises, Musqueteers +Red and Gray carrying Torches, +with Coaches, Led Horses, Prickers, Grooms, +Pages, Valets, Waiting Women, and all the +Hurley-Burly of a great Court. Some few +of the Commonalty also managed to squeeze +themselves in—amongst others, your humble<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[167]</a></span> +Servant, John Dangerous, who was now +reckoned no better than a Rascal Buffoon.</p> + +<p>'Twas bitterly cold, and freezing hard, +and the Courtiers had their hands squeezed +into great fur Muffs. I saw the King come +down the Marble Staircase; a fair portly +Gentleman, with a Greatcoat, lined with fur, +over his ordinary vestments—then a novelty +among the French, and called a <i>Redingote</i>, +from our English Riding-coat.</p> + +<p>"Is that the King?" I heard a Voice, +which I seemed to remember, ask behind +me, as the Monarch passed between a double +line of Spectators to his Coach.</p> + +<p>"Yes, Dog," answered he who had been +addressed, and who was an Officer in the +Gray Musqueteers. "Pig, why dost thou +not take off thy Hat?"</p> + +<p>I was all at once pushed violently on one +side. A Man with a Drugget Coat and +Flapped Hat, and whom I at once recognised +by the light of the glaring torches +as the Red-faced Brawler of the Wine-shop, +darted through the line of Guards, an open<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[168]</a></span> +Knife in his hand, and rushing up to him, +stabbed King Lewis the Fifteenth in the +side.</p> + +<p>I could hear his Majesty cry out, "<i>Oh! +je suis blessé!</i>"—"I am wounded!"—but all +the rest was turbulence and confusion; in +the midst of which, not caring that the +Red-faced Man should claim me as an Acquaintance, +I slipped away. I need scarcely +say that there was no Ballet at Versailles +that night.</p> + +<p>A great deal of Blood came from the +King's Wound; for he was a Plethoric +Sovereign, much given to High Living; +but he was, on the whole, more Frightened +than Hurt. Although when the Assassin +was first laid hold of, His Majesty cried out +in an Easy Manner that no Harm was to be +done him, he never afterwards troubled his +Royal Self in the slightest Manner to put a +stop to the Hellish Torments inflicted on a +Poor Wretch, who had, at the most, but +scratched his Flesh, and for whom the most +fitting Punishment would have been a Cell +in a Madhouse.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[169]</a></span></p> + +<p>As for this most miserable Red-faced +Man, Robert François Damiens, this is what +was done to him. At first handling, he was +very nearly murdered by the Young Gentlemen +Officers of the Body Guard, who, having +tied him to a Bench, pricked him with +their Sword Points, beat him with their +Belts, and pummelled him about the Mouth +with the Butt-ends of Pistols. Then he was +had to the Civil Prison; and a certain President, +named Michault, came to interrogate +him, who being most zealous to discover +whether the Parricide (as he was +called) had any Accomplices, heated a Pair +of Pincers in the Fire, and when they were +red-hot, clawed and dragged away at the +Unhappy Man's Legs, till the whole Dungeon +did reek with the horrible Odour of +Burnt Flesh. Just imagine one of our English +Judges of the Land undertaking such a +Hangman's Office! The poor Wretch made +no other complaint than to murmur that +the King had directed that he was not to +be ill-treated; and when they further questioned +him, could only stammer out some<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[170]</a></span> +Incoherent Balderdash about the Archbishop, +the Parliament, and the Billets of Confession.</p> + +<p>After many Days, he was removed from +Versailles to Paris; but his Legs were so +bad with the Burning, that they were +obliged to carry him away on a Mattress. +So to Paris; the Journey taking +Six Hours, through his great attendance +of Guards and the thickness of the Crowd. +He was had to the Prison of the Conciergerie, +and put into a Circular Dungeon in +the Tower called of Montgomery—the very +same one where Ravaillac, that killed Henry +the Fourth, had formerly lain. There they +put him into a kind of Sack of Shamoy +Leather, leaving only his Head free; and +he was tied down to his bed—which was +a common Hospital Pallet—by an immense +number of Leathern Straps, secured by Iron +Rings to the Floor of his Dungeon. But +what Dr. Goldsmith, the Poetry-writer, +means by "Damiens' Bed of Steel," I'm +sure I don't know. At the head and foot +of his Bed an Exempt kept watch Night<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[171]</a></span> +and Day, and every three-quarters of an +hour the Guard was relieved; so that the +Miserable Creature had little chance of +Sleeping. He would have sunk under all +this Cruelty, but that they kept him up +with Rich Meats and Generous Wines, +which they had all but to force down his +Throat.</p> + +<p>But while all this was being done to +Damiens, other steps were being taken by +Justice, the which narrowly concerned me. +As he would denounce no Accomplices, +real or imaginary, the Police did their +best to find out his Confederates for themselves, +and by diligent Inquiry made +themselves acquainted with all Damiens' +movements for days before he committed +his Crime. They found out the Wine-shop +where he had refused to pay his Reckoning +and made a Disturbance; and learning +from the people of the House what manner +of Man had paid for him and taken him +away, they were soon on <i>my</i> track. One +night, just before the Ballet began, I was +taken by two Exempts; and, in the very<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[172]</a></span> +play-acting dress as Cerberus that I wore, +was forced into a Sedan, and taken, surrounded +by Guards, to the Prison of the +Châtelet. I thought of appealing to our +Ambassador in Paris, and proving that I +was a faithful Subject of King George; +but, as it happened, I owed my safety to +one who disowned that Monarch, and kept +all his Allegiance for King James. For old +Mr. Lovell, hearing of my Arrest, and importuned +by poor Pretty Miss Lilias, who +was kind enough to shed many Tears on +the occasion, hurried off to his Eminence +the Cardinal de ——, who was all but +supreme at Court, and with whom he had +great Influence. The Cardinal listens to +him very graciously, and by and by comes +down the President Pasquier to interrogate +me, to whom I told a plain Tale, setting +forth how I had been unfortunate in Business +in Holland and Flanders, and was +earning an honest Livelihood by playing a +Dog in a Pantomime. The people in the +Wine-shop could not but bear me out in +stating that I had come across the Red-<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[173]</a></span>faced +Man by pure Accident, and was no +Friend of his. It was moreover established +by the Police, that I had not been seen in +Damiens' company after the Night I first +met him, and that I had a legitimate call +to be at Versailles on the day of the Assassination; +so that after about a fortnight's +detention I was set at Liberty, to my own +great joy and that of my good and kind +Mistress Lilias, who had now repaid ten-thousand-fold +whatever paltry Service I had +been fortunate enough to render her. Nay, +this seeming Misadventure was of present +service to me; for his Eminence was pleased +to say that he should be glad to hear something +more concerning me, for that I seemed +a Bold Fellow; and at an Interview with +him, which lasted more than an Hour, I +told him my whole Life and Adventures, +which caused him to elevate his Eyebrows +not a little.</p> + +<p>"<i>Cospetto!</i> Signor Dangerous," says he +(for though he spoke French like a Native +he was by Birth an Italian, and sometimes +swore in that Language), "if all be true<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[174]</a></span> +what you say,—and you do not look like a +Man who tells Lies,—you have led a strange +Life. When a Boy, you were nearly +Hanged; and now at the <i>mezzo cammin</i> of +Life you have been on the point of having +your Limbs broken on a St. Andrew's +Cross. However, we must see what we +can do for you. Strength, Valour, Experience, +and Discretion do not often go +together; but I give you credit for possessing +a fair show of all Four. I suppose, +now, that you are tired of squatting at the +Wicket of the Infernal Regions at the +Opera House?"</p> + +<p>I bowed in acknowledgment of his +Eminence's compliments, and said that I +should be glad of any Employment.</p> + +<p>"Well, well," continued his Eminence, +"we will see. At present, as you say you +are a fair Scholar, my Secretary will find +you some work in copying Letters. And +here, Signor Dangerous, take these ten +Louis, and furnish yourself with some more +Clerkly Attire than your present trim. It +would never do for a Prince of the Church<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[175]</a></span> +to have a Flavour of the Opera Side-Scenes +about his house."</p> + +<p>Unless Rumour lied, there hung sometimes +about his Eminence's sumptuous +hotel a Flavour, not alone of the Opera +Side-Scenes, but of the Ballet-Dancers' +Tiring-room. However, let that pass. I +took the ten Louis with many Thanks, +and six hours afterwards was strutting +about in a suit of Black, full trimmed, with +a little short Cloak, for all the world like +a Notary's Clerk.</p> + +<p>I had been in the Employ of his Eminence—who +showed me daily more and +more favour—about a month, when all +Paris was agog with the News that the +Monster Parricide and Hell-Hound (as +they called him from the Pulpit), Robert +François Damiens, was to suffer the last +Penalty of his Crime. I know not what +strange horrible fascination I yielded to, +but I could not resist the desire to see the +End of the Red-faced Man. I went. The +Tragedy took place on the Place de Grêve; +but ere he came on to his last Scene,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[176]</a></span> +Damiens had gone through other Woes +well-nigh unutterable. I speak not of his +performing the <i>amende honorable</i>, bare-footed, +in his Shirt, a Halter round his Neck, and +a lighted Taper of six pounds' weight in +his Hand, at the Church-door, confessing +his Crime, and asking Pardon of God, the +King, and all Christian Men. Ah! no; +he had suffered more than this. Part of +his Sentence was that, prior to Execution, +he was to undergo the Question Ordinary +and Extraordinary; and so at the Conciergerie, +in the presence of Presidents, Counsellors +of the Parliament, Great Noblemen +of the Court, and other Dignitaries, the +Poor Thing was put into the <i>Brodequins</i>, +or Boots, and wedge after wedge driven in +between his Legs—already raw and inflamed +with the Devilries of the President Michault—and +the Iron Incasement. He rent the +air with his Screams, until the Surgeons +declared that he could hold out no longer. +But he confessed nothing; for what had he +to confess?</p> + +<p>Then came the last awful Day, when all<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[177]</a></span> +this Agony was to end. I saw it all. The +Grêve was densely packed; and although +the space is not a third so large as Tower +Hill, there seemed to be Thousands more +persons present than at the beheading of my +Lord Lovat. A sorrier Sight was it to see +the windows of the Hôtel de Ville thronged +with Great Ladies of the Court, many of +them Young and Beautiful, and all bravely +Dressed, who laughed and chattered and ate +Sweetmeats while the Terrible Show was +going on. The Sentence ran that the +Assassin's Hand, holding the Knife which +he had used, should be Burnt in a Slow-fire +of Sulphur. Then that his Flesh should be +torn on the Breast, Arms, Stomach, Thighs, +and Calves of the Legs with Pincers; and +then that into the gaping Wounds there +should be poured Melted Lead, Rosin, Pitch, +Wax, and Boiling Oil. And finally, that by +the Four Extremities he should be attached +to Four Horses, and rent Asunder; his +Body then to be Burnt, and his Ashes +scattered to the Winds. There was nothing +said about the Lord having mercy upon his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[178]</a></span> +Soul; but careful injunction was made that +he was to be condemned in the Costs of the +Prosecution.</p> + +<p>All this was done, although I sicken to +record it; but in the most Blundering +Butcherly manner. The Chief-Executioner +of the Parliament was Sick, and so the task +was deputed to his Nephew, Gabriel Sanson, +who being, notwithstanding his Sanguinary +Office (which is hereditary), a Humane kind +of Young Man, was all in a Shiver at what +he had to perform, and quite lost his Head. +Both his Valets, or Under-Hangmen, were +Drunk. They had forgotten the Pitch, Oil, +Rosin, and other things; and at the last +moment they had to be sent for to the +neighbouring Grocers'. But these Shopkeepers +declared, out of humanity, that they +had them not; whereupon Guards and +Exempts were sent, who searched their +Stores, and seized what was wanted in the +King's Name. Then the Fiendish Show +began. I can hear the miserable man's +Shrieks as I sit writing this now.—But no +more.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[179]</a></span></p> + +<p>So strong is our Human Frame, that the +great strong Brewer's Horses, although +Dragged and Whipped this way and t'other, +could not pull his limbs Asunder. So the +Surgeons were obliged to sever the great +Sinews with Knives, and then the Horses +managed it, somehow.</p> + +<p><i>Note.</i>—When the Horses were Lashed, +to make 'em pull Lustily, the Fine Ladies +at the windows fluttered their Fans, and, in +their sweet little Court Lingo, cried out +compassionately, "<i>Oh, les pauv' Zevaux!</i>"—"Oh, +the poor Dobbins!" They didn't +say any thing about a poor Damiens.</p> + +<p><i>Note.</i>—Also, that when they took his +Head, to cram it into the Brazier, and burn +it with the rest of his Members, they found +that his Hair, which when he was arrested +was of a Dark Brown, had turned quite +White.</p> + +<p>This Story is Naked Truth, and it was +done in the Christian country of France, +and in the Year of our Lord Seventeen +Hundred and Fifty-Seven. It all fell out +because a poor, ignorant, half-crazy Serving-<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[180]</a></span>Man +chose to muddle his Head about the +Archbishop of Paris and his Billets of Confession, +and because he would not go to a +Chirurgeon and be let Blood when Jack +Dangerous bade him.</p> + +<p>A week after this his Eminence was +pleased to send for me into his Cabinet, and +told me that he had heard great Accounts +from his Secretary of my Parts, Application, +and Capacity, and that he designed to +restore me to the position of a Gentleman. +He asked me if I had a mind for a particular +Employment and a Secret Mission; +and on my signifying my willingness to +embark in such an Undertaking, bade me +hold myself in readiness to travel forthwith +into Italy.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[181]</a></span></p> +<h2>CHAPTER THE SIXTH.</h2> + +<h3>OF MY SECRET EMPLOYMENT IN THE SERVICE +OF THE CARDINAL DE ——.</h3> + + +<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">Paris</span> was now clearly no place for me; +so bidding adieu to my kind Protectress, I +made what haste I could to quit the city +where I had witnessed, and in some sense +been implicated in, so Frightful a Tragedy. +There had always been mingled with my +Adventurous Temperament a turn for sober +Reflection; and I did not fail to Reflect +with much seriousness upon the appalling +perils from which I had just, by the Mercy +of Providence, escaped. Setting altogether +on one side the Pretty Sight I should have +presented had I been subject to the Hellish +Tortures which this poor crazy Wretch +Damiens underwent, I justly conceived an +extreme Horror for this Fiendish yet<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[182]</a></span> +frivolous People, who could mingle the +twirling of Fans and the sucking of Sugarplums, +with the most excruciating Torments +ever inflicted upon a Human Being. At +least, so I reasoned to myself; if we English +hang and disembowel a Traitor, at least we +strangle him first; and though the sentence +is Bloodthirsty, the mob would rend 'Squire +Ketch in pieces were it known that a Spark +of Life remained in the Body of the Patient +when the Hangman's Knife touched his +Breast; but these Frenchmen have neither +Humanity nor Decency, and positively pet +and pamper up their Victim in order that +he may be the better able to endure the full +effects of their infernal Spite.</div> + +<p>Not without considerable Misgivings did +I undertake my new Employment, the more +so as I was both forbidden and ashamed to +impart any inkling of its nature to my dear +Mistress. Say what you will, no man that +has a spark of Honesty remaining in him +can have much relish for the calling of a +Spy. I tried hard to persuade myself that +this was a kind of Diplomatic Employment;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[183]</a></span> +that I was intrusted with Secrets of State; +and that by faithfully carrying out my Instructions, +I was serving the cause of +Civilisation, and in my humble way helping +to maintain the Peace of Europe. For in +all ages there have been, and in all to come +there must be, sober and discreet Persons to +act as Emissaries, to inquire into the conditions +of the People, and bring back +Tidings of the Nakedness or Fertility of the +Land. It would never have been known +that there was Corn in Egypt, but for the +sagacious Investigations of Messengers sent +to quest about in the interest of a Famished +Community. Nevertheless I admit that, +although I spread much such Balsam upon +my galled and chafed Conscience, I could +not avoid a dismal Distrust that all these +Arguments were vain and Sophistical. The +words, "Spy, Spy, Spy," haunted me both +by day and by night. I saw, in imagination, +the Finger of Derision pointed at me, +and heard, in spirit, the wagging of the +Tongues of Evil-minded Men. The worst +of it was, that the occult nature of my<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[184]</a></span> +Mission prevented me from loudly proclaiming +my Honesty in order to vindicate it +against all comers, and glued my Sword to +its Scabbard, whence it would otherwise +furiously have leapt to avenge the merest +Slight put upon me.</p> + +<p>His Eminence the Cardinal de —— was +pleased to equip me for my Journey in the +most munificent Manner. First he directed +me to procure a plentiful stock of Clothes +both for travelling and for gala Occasions, +not forgetting a couple of good serviceable +Rapiers, as well as a Walking-sword, a +Dress-foil, and a Hanger, with a pair of +Holster Pistols, and two smaller ones of +Steel in case of Emergencies. Also, by his +advice, within the lining of my Coat, by the +nape of my Neck, just where the bag of my +Wig hung, I secreted a neat little Poniard +or Dagger. In a small Emerald Ring, of +which he made me a Present, was compactly +stowed a quantity of very subtle and potent +Poison, sufficient to kill Two Men. "One +never knows what may happen, dear +Captain," says his Eminence to me, with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[185]</a></span> +his unctuous Smile. "Your Profession is +one of sudden Risks, leading sometimes to +prospects of painful Inconvenience. If you +are brought to such a pass that all your +Ingenuity will not enable you to extricate +yourself from it, and if you have any rational +Objection, say, to being Burnt Alive, or +Broken on the Wheel, 'tis always as well to +have the means at hand of executing oneself +with genteel Tranquillity. Such means you +will always carry with you on your Little +Finger; and I can see, by the circumference +of the Ring, that 'tis only by Sawing off +that it can be got from off your Digit. Poison +yourself then, <i>mio caro</i>, if you see no other +way of getting out of the Scrape; but pray +remember this; That he who has poison +about him, and only enough for one, is an +Ass. <i>Always carry enough for Two.</i> The +immersion of that little finger in a Glass of +Wine, and the pressure of a little Spring, +would make Hercules so much cold chicken +in a Moment. There are times, dear Captain, +when you may have to save Half your +Potion to kill yourself, but when you may<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[186]</a></span> +safely lay out the other Half with the view +of killing somebody else." A mighty +pleasant Way had his Eminence with him; +and his conversation was a kind of Borgia +Brocade shot with Machiavelism.</p> + +<p>My Despatches and other Secret Documents +I was to carry neatly folded and moulded +within a Ball of Wax not much larger than +a Pill. This again was put into a Comfit-box +of Gold, and suspended by a minute but +strong Chain of Steel round my Neck.</p> + +<p>"In difficult Circumstances," says his +Eminence, "you will open that Comfit-box +and swallow that little Ball of Wax. I +have often thought," he pursued, "that +Spies, to be perfect in their Vocation, should +first of all be apprenticed to Mountebanks. +At the Fair of St. Germain, I have gazed +with admiration on the grotesquely bedizened +fellows who swallow Swords, Redhot Pokers, +and Yards of Ribbon without number, and +thought of what invaluable service their +Powers of Gullet would be in the rapid +and effectual concealment of Documents the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[187]</a></span> +which it is expedient to conceal from the +eyes of the Vulgar."</p> + +<p>Again, in the folds of a silken belt, in the +which I was to keep my Letters of Credit +and a large unset Diamond, in case I should +be pressed for Money in places where there +were no Bankers,—for Diamonds are convertible +into Cash from one end of the +World to the other, except among the +Cannibals,—in this Belt was a little Scrap +of Parchment secured between two squares +of Glass, and bearing an Inscription in +minute characters, which I was unable to +decipher. I have the Scrap of Parchment +by me yet, and have shown it to Doctor +Dubiety, who is a very learned man; but +even he is puzzled with it; and beyond +opining that the characters are either Arabic +or Sanscrit, cannot give me any information +regarding their Purport.</p> + +<p>"This Parchment," observed the Cardinal +when he delivered it to me, "will be of no +service to you with Civil or Military Governors, +and it will be well for you not to show<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[188]</a></span> +it to carnal-minded Men; but if ever you +get into difficulties with Holy Mother +Church—I speak not of Heretic Communions—you +may produce it at once, and it +will be sure to deliver you from those Fiery +Furnaces and the Jaws of those Devouring +Dragons of whom the said Holy Mother +Church is sometimes forced (through the +perversity of Mankind) to make use."</p> + +<p>Finally, this same Belt contained a +curious Contrivance, by means of a piece of +Vellum perforated in divers places, for +deciphering the Letters I might receive +from his Eminence or his agents. On +placing the Vellum over the Letter sent, the +words intended to meet the eyes of the +recipient, and none other, would appear +through the incisions made; while, the +Vellum removed, the body of the Epistle +would read like the veriest Balderdash. +This the French call a <i>chiffre à grille</i>, and +'tis much used in their secret Diplomatic +Affairs. The best of it is, that when the +two Parties who wish to correspond have +once settled where the incisions are to be,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[189]</a></span> +and have each gotten their <i>grille</i>, or Peephole +Vellum, no human being can, under ten +thousand combinations of letters, and years +of toilsome labour, decipher what is meant +to be expressed, or Weed out the few Words +of Meaning from the mass of surrounding +Rubbish.</p> + +<p>I bade his Eminence farewell, having the +honour to be admitted to his <i>petit lever</i>, the +felicity to kiss his hand and receive his +Benediction, and the distinction of being +conducted down the Back Stairs by his +Maître d'Hôtel, and let out by a Side Door +in the Garden-wall of his Mansion. A close +Chariot took me one morning in the Spring +of '58 to the Barrière de Lyon, and there I +found a Chaise and Post-horses, and was +soon on my road to the South, with three +hundred Louis in Gold in my Valise, and a +Letter of Credit for any sum under five +hundred at a time, I liked to draw, in my +Waist-belt. I was Richer in Purse and +more bravely Dressed than ever I had been +in my life, and travelled under the name of +the Chevalier Escarbotin; but I was a Spy,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[190]</a></span> +and in mine own eyes I was the Meanest +of the Mean.</p> + +<p>A happy Mercurial Temper and cheerful +Flow of Spirits soon, however, revived +within me; and, ere Ten Leagues of my +Journey were over, the Chevalier Escarbotin +became once more to himself Jack Dangerous. +"I will work the Mine of my +Manhood," I cried out in the Chaise, "to +the last Vein of the Ore. <i>Vive la Joie!</i>" +Yet in my innermost heart did I wish myself +once more with Captain Blokes as the +daring Supercargo of the dear old <i>Marquis</i>, +or else a Peaceful Merchant at Amsterdam, +giving good advice to the Rogues and Sluts +in the Rasphuys. O Mr. Vandepeereboom, +Mr. Vandepeereboom!</p> + +<p>Six days after my departure from Paris, I +embarked from Marseille on board a Tartane +bound for Genoa. We had fine sailing for +about three days, till by contrary winds we +were driven into San Remo, a pretty +Seaport belonging to the Genoese. This +abounds so much with Oranges, Lemons,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[191]</a></span> +and other Delicious Fruit, that it is called +the Paradise of Italy. So on to Genoa, +where the Beggars live in Palaces cheek by +jowl with the Nobles, who are well-nigh as +beggarly as they; and the Houses are as +lofty as any in Europe, and the Streets +between them as dark and narrow as Adam +and Eve Court in the Strand. The Suburb +called San Pietro d'Arena very pretty, and +full of commodious Villas. There are thirty +Parish Churches, and at San Lorenzo they +show a large Dish made out of One +Emerald, which they say was given to King +Solomon by the Queen of Sheba. The +Genoese are a cunning and industrious +People, with a great gusto for the Arts, but +terrible Thieves. The Government a Republic, +headed by a Doge, that is chosen +every two years from among the Nobility, +and must be a Genoese, at least Fifty years +of age, and no Byblow. He cannot so much +as lie One Night out of the City, without +leave had from the Senate. When he is +elected, they place a Crown of Gold on his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[192]</a></span> +Head, and a Sceptre in his Hand. His +Robes are of Crimson Velvet, and he has +the title of Serenity.</p> + +<p>Here I did business with several Persons +of Consideration; the Senators B—c—i and +Delia G——, the rich Banker L——, and +Monsignore the Archprelate X——. So by +Cortona, where there is a strong Castle on +a Hill, to Pavia, an old decaying City on +the River Tessin, which is so rapid that +Bishop Burnet says he ran down the Stream +thirty miles in three hours by the help of +one Rower only. This may be, or t'other +way; but I own to placing very little faith +in the veracity of these Cat-in-Pan Revolution +Bishops. Here (at Pavy) is a Brass +Statue of Marcus Antoninus on Horseback; +though the Pavians will have it to be +Charles the Fifth, and others declare it to +be Constantine the Great.</p> + +<p>After two days here, waiting for Despatches +from his Eminence, which came at +last in the False Bottom of a Jar of Narbonne +Honey, and I answering by a Billet +discreetly buried in the recesses of a large<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[193]</a></span> +Bologna Sausage, I posted to Milan, through +a fertile and delicious country, which some +call the Garden of Italy. A broad, clean +place, with spacious Streets; but the Wine +and Maccaroni not half so good as at Genoa. +The Cathedral full of Relics, some of which +run up as high as Abraham. In the Ambrosian +Library are a power of Books, and, +what is more curious, the Dried <i>Heads</i> of +several Learned Men—amongst others, that +of our Bishop Fisher, whom King Harry +the Eighth put to death for not acknowledging +his Supremacy. About two miles +from hence is a Curiosity, in the shape of a +Building, where, if you fire off a Pistol; the +Sound returns about Fifty times. 'Tis +done, they told me, by two Parallel Walls +of a considerable length, which reverberate +the Sound to each other till the undulation +is quite spent. The which, being so informed, +I was as wise concerning the Echo +as I had been before.</p> + +<p>It was my Design to have proceeded from +Milan either to Venice or to the famous +Capital City of Rome; but Instructions<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[194]</a></span> +from his Eminence forced me to retrace my +steps, and at Genoa I embarked for Naples. +This is a very handsome place, but villanously +Dirty, and governed in a most +Despotic Manner. Nearly all the Corn +Country round about belongs to the Jesuits, +who make a pretty Penny by it. The taxes +very high, and laid on Wine, Meat, Oil, and +other Necessaries of Life; indeed on every +thing eatable except Fruit and Fowls, which +you may buy for a Song. All Foreigners +who have here purchased Estates are loaded +with Extraordinary Taxes and Impositions. +The City is remarkable for its Silk Stockings, +Waistcoats, Breeches, and Caps; Soap, +Perfume, and Snuff-boxes. They cool their +Wine with Snow, which they get out of +pits dug in the Mountain-sides. Near here, +too, is a Burning Mountain they call +Vesuvio. It may be mighty curious, but +'tis as great a Nuisance and Perpetual +Alarm to the peaceable Inhabitants of +Naples as a Powder Magazine. Very often +this Vesuvio gives itself up to hideous +Bellowing, causing the Windows, nay the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[195]</a></span> +very Houses, in Naples to Shake, and then +it vomits forth vast Quantities of melted +Stuff, which streams down the Mountain-sides +like a pot boiling over. Sometimes it +darkens the Sun with Smoke, causing a kind +of Eclipse; then a Pillar of Black Smoke +will start up to a prodigious Height in the +air, and the next morning you will find the +Court and Terrace of your House, be it ten +miles away, all strewn with Fine Ashes from +Vesuvio.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[196]</a></span></p> +<h2>CHAPTER THE SEVENTH.</h2> + +<h3>I FALL INTO THE HANDS OF RECREANT PAYNIMS, AND +AM SEDUCED TO A STATE OF MISERABLE SLAVERY.</h3> + + +<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">I think</span> I should have been much better off, +if, stopping at Naples, I had fallen into the +blazing Crater of Vesuvio, and have cast up +again into the air in the shape of Red-Hot +Ashes. I think it would have been better +for me to be Bitten by the Tarantula Spider +(which is about the size of a small Nutmeg, +and when it bites a person throws him into +all kinds of Tumblings, Anger, Fear, Weeping, +Crazy Talk, and Wild Actions, accompanied +by a kind of Bedlam Gambado), than +to have gone upon the pretty Dance I was +destined to Lead. However, there was no +disobeying the commands of his Eminence, +who, in his Smooth Italian way, told me at +Paris that those of his Servants who did not<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[197]</a></span> +attend to his Behests, were much subject to +dying Suddenly after Supper; and so, +Willy-nilly, I sped upon my Dark Errand.</div> + +<p>Business now took me to Venice. This +is a very grand City, both for the Magnificence +of its Nobles and the Extent of its +Commerce. The Doge is only a Sumptuous +kind of Puppet, the Real Government being +vested in the Seignory, or Council of Ten, +that carry matters with a very High Hand, +but, on the whole, give Satisfaction both to +the Quality and the Common. Here are +numbers of Priests of a very Free Life and +Conversation, and swarms of Monks that +are notorious Evil-doers; for during the +Carnival (a very famous one here) they wear +Masks, sing upon Stages, and fall into many +other Practices unbecoming their Profession. +The Venetian Nuns are the merriest in all +Europe, and have a not much better Repute +than the Monks, many of them being the +Daughters of the Nobility, who dispose of +'em in this manner to save the Charges of +keeping 'em at home. They wear no Veils; +have their Necks uncovered; and receive<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[198]</a></span> +the Addresses of Suitors at the Grates of +their Parlours. The Patriarch did indeed +at one time essay to Reform the abuses that +had crept into the Nunneries; but the +Ladies of San Giacomo, with whom he +began, told him plainly that they were +Noble Venetians, and scorned his Regulations. +Thereupon he attempted to shut up +their House, which so provoked 'em that +they were going to set Fire to it; but the +Senate interposing, commanded the Patriarch +to desist, and these Merry Maidens had full +liberty to resume their Madcap Pranks.</p> + +<p>Here they make excellent fine Drinking-glasses +and Mirrors; likewise Gold and +Silver Stuffs, Turpentine, Cream of Tartar, +and other articles. The Streets mostly with +Water running thro' 'em, like unto Rotterdam, +all going to and fro done in Boats +called Gondoles,—a dismal, Hearse-looking +kind of Wherry, with a prow like the head +of a Bass-Viol, and rowed, or rather shoved +along with a Pole by a Mad, Ragged +Fellow, that bawls out verses from Tasso, +one of their Poets, as he plies his Oar. The<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[199]</a></span> +great Sight at Venice, after the Grand Canal +and St. Mark's Place, is the Carnival, which +begins on Twelfth Day, and holds all Lent. +The Diversion of the Venetians is now all +for Masquerading. Under a Disguise, they +break through their Natural Gravity, and +fall heartily into all the Follies and Extravagances +of these occasions. With Operas, +Plays, and Gaming-Houses, they seem to +forget all Habits, Customs, and Laws; lay +aside all cares of Business, and swamp all +Distinctions of Rank. This practice of +Masking gives rise to a variety of Love +Adventures, of which the less said the +better; for the Venetian Bona Robas, or +Corteggiane, as they call 'em now, are a +most Artful Generation. The pursuit of +Amours is often accompanied by Broils and +Bloodshed; and Fiery Temper is not confined +to the Men, but often breaks out in +the Weaker Sex; an instance of which I +saw one day in St. Mark's Place, where two +Fine Women, Masked, that were Rivals for +the favour of the same Gallant, happening +to meet, and by some means knowing one<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[200]</a></span> +another, they fell out, went to Cuffs, tore off +each other's Mask, and at last drew Knives +out of their pockets, with which they Fought +so seriously, that one of them was left for +Dead upon the Spot.</p> + +<p>Another Frolic of the Carnival is Gaming, +which is commonly in Noblemen's Houses, +where there are Tables for that purpose in +ten or twelve Rooms on a floor, and seldom +without abundance of Company, who are all +Masked, and observe a profound Silence. +Here one meets Ladies of Pleasure cheek by +jowl with Ladies of Quality, who, under the +protection of a convenient piece of Black +Satin or Velvet, are allowed to enjoy the +entertainments of the Season; but are generally +attended either by the Husband or his +Spies, who keep a watchful eye on their +Behaviour. Besides these Gaming-Rooms, +there are others, where Sweetmeats, Wine, +Lemonade, and other Refreshments may be +purchased, the Haughty Nobility of Venice +not disdaining to turn Tavern-keepers at +this season of the year. Here it is usual for +Gentlemen to address the Ladies and employ<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[201]</a></span> +their wit and raillery; but they must take +care to keep within the bounds of Politeness, +or they may draw upon themselves the +Resentment of the Husbands, who seldom +put up with an Affront of this kind, though +perhaps only imaginary, without exacting a +severe Satisfaction. For the Common People +there are Jugglers, Rope-dancers, Fortune-tellers, +and other Buffoons, who have stages +in the Square of St. Mark, where, at all +times during the Carnival, 'tis almost impossible +to pass along, owing to the crowd of +Masqueraders. Bull Baitings, Races of +Gondoles, and other Amusements, too tedious +to enumerate, also take place. But among +the several Shows which attract the eyes of +the Populace, I cannot forbear describing +one which is remarkable for its oddity, and +perhaps peculiar to the Venetians. A +number of Men, by the help of Poles laid +across each other's Shoulders, build themselves +up almost as children do Cards—four +or five Rows of 'em standing one above the +other, and lessening as they advance in +height, till at last a little Boy forms the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[202]</a></span> +Top, or Point, of the Structure. After they +have stood in this manner, to be gazed at, +some time, the Boy leaps down into the +arms of people appointed to catch him at +the Bottom; the rest follow his example, +and so the whole Pile falls to Pieces.</p> + +<p>The Nobility of Venice are remarkable +for their Persons as well as for their Polite +Behaviour, and have a great deal of Gravity +and Wisdom in their Countenances. They +wear a light Cap with a kind of black +Fringe, and a long black Gown of Paduan +Cloth, as their Laws require; though the +English have found means to introduce their +Manufactures among 'em. Underneath +these Gowns they have suits of Silk; and +are extremely neat as to their Shoes and +Stockings. Their Perukes are long, full-bottomed, +and very well Powdered; and +they usually carry their Caps in their Hands. +The Women very well shaped, though they +endeavour to improve their Complexions +with Washes and Paint. These of Quality +wear such high-heeled Shoes, that they can +scarce walk without having two people to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[203]</a></span> +support them. In matters of Religion +(though their worship is as pompous as Gold +and Jewels can make it) the Venetians are +very Easy and Unconcerned; and neither +Pope nor Inquisition is thought much of in +the Dominions of the Seignory. For Music +in their Churches they have a perfect Passion. +The City is well furnished with Necessaries; +but the want of Cellarage makes all the +Wine sour. The Inhabitants are of a Fresh +Complexion, and not much troubled with +Coughs; which is strange, they having so +much Water about 'em. They begin their +day at Sunset, and count one o'clock an +hour after, and so on to twenty-four; which +is likewise a Custom, I believe, among the +Chineses.</p> + +<p>They bury their Dead within the Four-and-Twenty +Hours, and sometimes sooner. +The Funerals of Persons of Quality are performed +with great Pomp and Solemnity; +and the deceased are carried to the Place of +Interment with their Faces bare. Whilst I +was in Venice, their Patriarch (who is a +kind of Independent Pontiff in his own<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[204]</a></span> +way; for, as I have said, they reckon but +little of his Holiness here) died, and was +buried with this Ceremony. He was carried +in one of his own Coaches, by night, to St. +Mark's Church, which was all hung with +Black for the occasion; and next day the +Corpse was laid on a Bed in the very middle +of the Church, dressed in the Sacerdotal +Habit, with the Head towards the Choir, +and his Tiara, or Mitre, lying at the feet. +At each corner of the bed stood a <i>valet de +chambre</i>, holding a Banner of Black Taffety, +with the Arms of the Deceased. A hundred +large Wax Tapers were placed in Candlesticks +round the bed, and High Mass was +sung; the Sopranos very beautiful. After +Mass was over, all retired; but the Body +lay exposed till evening, when it was stripped +of its Vestments (for though a very Gorgeous +people, they are Economical in their ways), +and put into a Leaden Coffin, enclosed in +another of Cypress, and was then let down +into the Grave. 'Tis not usual with the +Relations to attend the Funeral, which they +look upon as a Barbarous Custom. But<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[205]</a></span> +they wear Mourning longer and more regularly +than in many other countries. A +woman in a Mourning Habit appears Black +from Head to Foot, not the least Bit of +Linen being to be seen.</p> + +<p>The nature of my Employment now +brought me into intimate Commerce with +Monsieur B——, a French Merchant of +Lyons, who treated me with extraordinary +Civility, and made great Offers of being of +Assistance to me in my Voyage to Constantinople, +whither I was now Bound. This +Gentleman, by means of the French Ambassador +at the Porte, had gotten a Firman, +or passport, to enable him to Travel to that +City, and with a proper number of Attendants, +through any part of the Turkish +Dominions. As 'tis inconvenient and dangerous +Voyaging though the territories of +the Great Turk without such a Protection, +nothing could be more Agreeable than the +offer he made me of his Company, the more +so as his Eminence had enjoined me to keep +a Strict Watch upon every thing that +M. B—— said or did. He had designed to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[206]</a></span> +reach Constantinople by Land through +Bosnia, Servia, Bulgaria, and Roumania; +yet, in compliance with my Inclination (I +wish my Inclination had been at the Deuce), +which was all for a Sea Passage, he consented +to embark on board a Vessel bound +to Candia and other Islands of the Archipelago, +from which we were to procure a +Passage to the Capital of the Ottoman Empire. +What made this Gentleman's Society +more acceptable, was his thorough Knowledge +of the Trade of the Levant, and the +Genius and Temper of the People. Thus, +he informed me of the Method of Dealing +with Jews, Armenians, and Greeks; of the +Eastern manner of travelling in Caravans, +and the necessary precautions against such +Accidents as are mostly fatal to Strangers; +and instructed me in the Art of concealing +Things of Value,—although I think I too +could have given him a lesson in that Device,—and +avoiding those Snares which +Governors, Military Officers, and Petty +Princes make use of in order to plunder +Travellers and Merchants. Under these<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[207]</a></span> +favourable Auspices, we embarked, in the Autumn +of '37, on board a Trading Vessel called +the <i>San Marco</i>, bound for Candia, but first +for Malta, so famous for its Order of Knights. +A fine Gale at North-West carried us pleasantly +down the Gulf of Venice, or Adriatic +Sea; and on the fifth day we came in sight +of Otranto, a Town destroyed by the Turks +nigh Three Hundred years ago, since which +time it has hardly regained its Ancient +Lustre, but at present well Fortified, and +defended by a High Castle, which I have +heard the Honourable Mr. Walpole, a Fine, +Lardy-Dardy, Maccaroni Gentleman, that +lives at a place called Strawberry Hill, by +Twitnam, in England, has written a silly +Romantic Tale about. So we got clear of +the Gulf of Venice, and in three days more, +after making Cape Passaro in Sicily, entered +the Haven of Malta.</p> + +<p>This is an Island that lies between Sicily +and the Coast of Africa, and is of an Egg-shaped +figure, about twenty miles long and +twelve broad. The City of Malta is divided +into three parts, which are properly so many<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[208]</a></span> +Rocks jutting out into the Sea, with large +Harbours between them. That called Valetta, +in honour of the Grand Master who +so gallantly defended the place against the +Turks, is extremely well Fortified, and also +defended by a Castle, held to be impregnable. +The City contains about Two Thousand +Houses, well built with white Stone, and +Flat-roofed, surrounded by Rails and Balusters. +On t'other side of the Harbour is +another City, formerly called Il Borgo, or +the Borough, but now named Città Vittoriosa, +alluding to the terrible Mauling the +Turks got here in 1566. St. John's Church +very handsome, and on one side of it a +fine Piazza, with a Fountain in the corner. +Here are all the Tombs of the Grand +Masters, and a great many Flags taken +from the Turks. The Right Hand of St. +John Baptist, wanting but Two Fingers, +shown here for Money, with many other +Relics and Ornaments. The Grand Master +lives in a magnificent Palace; and close +by is an Arsenal, with Arms for Thirty +Thousand Men.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[209]</a></span></p> + +<p>The Treasury is a very stately Edifice; +but what gives the highest Idea of the +Charity of this illustrious Order is their +noble Hospital, where all the Sick are +received and provided for with the utmost +Care. The Rooms are large and commodious, +and in each of them there are but +two Patients. Their Diet is brought to +them in rich Silver Plate by the Knights +themselves, who are obliged to this attendance +by their Constitutions; and such an +exact Decorum is observed, and every thing +performed with such Magnificence, that it +raises the astonishment of Strangers.</p> + +<p>But if there be Charity and Benevolence +for the Christian Sick, there is little Mercy +shown towards Infidels and Miscreants. +The Prison for the Slaves is an enormous +Building, with a Colonnade running round +it, and capable of lodging three or four +Thousand of those Unhappy People. There +are seldom less than Two Thousand in the +House, except when the Galleys of the +Order are at Sea upon some Expedition. +Then the poor Wretches are Chained, Night<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[210]</a></span> +and Day, to the Oar; but when on Shore +they have only a small Lock on their Ankles, +like the slaves at Leghorn, and are permitted +to go to any part of the Island, from which +they have seldom an opportunity of making +their Escape.</p> + +<p>The Knights of the Order of St. John of +Jerusalem, commonly called Knights of +Malta, after removing from Jerusalem to +Magrath, from thence to Acre, and thence +to Rhodes, were expelled from that Island +by the Sultan Solyman, having an Army of +Three Hundred Thousand Men. The +Knights retired, first to Candia, and then to +Sicily; but at last the Emperor Charles the +Fifth gave 'em the Island of Malta, which +they hold to this day. They formerly consisted +of Eight Languages or Tongues, according +to their Different Nations, viz. those +of Provence, Auvergne, France, Italy, Arragon, +Germany, Castile, and England; but +this last one has been extinct since our Harry +the Eighth's time, and what English Knights +there be who are Papists are forced to find +their Tongue where they can. Each of the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[211]</a></span> +Languages has its Chiefs, who are also called +Pillars and Grand Crosses, being distinguished +by a large White Cross 'broidered +on their Breasts. The Seven Languages +have their respective Colleges and Halls in +Malta, the Head of each House being called +the Grand Prior of his Nation; and to each +belongs a certain number of his Commanderies. +The Knights, at their entrance +into the Order, must prove their Legitimacy, +as well as Nobility, by four Descents, and +are termed Chevaliers by Right. Those who +are raised to the rank of Nobles, for some +Valiant Exploit, are called Chevaliers by +Favour. None are admitted by the Statutes +of the Order under the age of Sixteen; but +some are received from their very Infancy +on paying a large Sum of Money, or by Dispensation +from the Pope. All the Knights +oblige themselves to Celibacy, which does +not hinder their leading very Disorderly +Lives; and indeed Malta is full of Loose +Cattle of all kinds. When they are Professed, +a Carpet is spread on the Ground, on which +is set a Piece of Bread, a Cup of Water, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[212]</a></span> +a Naked Blade; and they are told, "This is +what Religion gives you. You must procure +yourself the rest with your Sword." The +which they do, to a pretty considerable Tune, +by spoiling of the Turks. After they make +their Vows, they wear a White Cross or +Star, with Eight Points, over their Cloaks or +Coats, on the Left Side, which is the proper +Badge of their Order, the Golden Maltese +Cross being only an Ornament. The ordinary +Habit of the Grand Master is a kind of Cassock, +open before, and tied about him with +a Girdle, at which hangs a Purse, alluding +to the Charitable ends of their Order;—but +'tis not to be denied that they have grown +very Proud, and Live, many of 'em, in as +Shameful Luxury as the Prince Bishops of +Germany. Over his Cassock the Grand +Master wears a Velvet Gown or Cloak when +he goes to Church on Solemn Festivals. He +is addressed under the Title of Eminence by +all the Knights; but his Subjects of Malta, +and the Neighbouring Islands, style him +Your Highness. As Sovereign, he coins +Money, pardons Criminals, and bestows the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[213]</a></span> +places of Grand Priors, Bailiffs, &c.; but in +most cases of importance is obliged to seek +the advice of his Council, so that he is not +wholly Absolute. The Ecclesiastics proper +of the Order—for the rest are but Military +Monks, that do a great deal more Fighting +than Praying, and savour much more of +the Camp than of the Convent—are Chaplains, +Monastic Clerks, and Deacons. They +likewise wear a White Cross, partake of the +Privileges of the Institution, and are great +Rascals.</p> + +<p>'Tis well known that the Knights of +Malta are destined to the Profession of Arms +for the Defence of the Christian Faith, and +the Protection of Pilgrims of all Nations. +It is to be observed, that there are also +Female Hospitallers of the Order of St. +John, sometimes called Chevalières, or She-Knights, +of equal Antiquity with the +Knights, whose business it is to take care of +the Women Pilgrims in a Hospital apart +from that of the Men. As the Order look +upon the Turks as the Great Enemies of +Christianity, they think themselves obliged<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[214]</a></span> +to be in a state of perpetual Hostility with +that people, and, for Centuries, have never so +much as signed the preliminaries of a Peace +with 'em. They have performed innumerable +and astonishing exploits against their +much-hated Enemies, the Insolence of whose +Rovers they continue to Restrain and +Chastise, except when the Rovers, as sometimes +happens, get the better of 'em. They +have Seven Galleys belonging to the Order, +each of which carries Five Hundred Men, +and as many Wretches in Fetters tugging +away at the Oar, for Dear Life. Every one +of these Galleys mounts Sixteen Pieces of +Heavy Artillery; and besides these they fit +out a great many Private Ships, by license +from the Grand Master, to cruise up and +down among the Turks, doing great Havoc, +and thereby growing very Rich. Thus it +will be plain to the Reader that a Knight +of Malta is a kind of Medley of Seaman, +Swashbuckler, and Saint—Admiral Benbow, +Field-Marshal Wade, and Friar Tuck all +rolled up into one.</p> + +<p>I did become acquainted with one of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[215]</a></span> +these Holy Roystering Cavalieros, by the +name of Don Ercolo Amadeo Sparafucile di +San Lorenzo, that was a perfect Model of all +these Characteristics. He Confessed with +almost as great regularity as he Sinned. +The Chaplains must have held him as one +of the heartiest of Penitents; for he never +came back from a Cruise without a whole +Sackful of Misdeeds, and straightway hied +him to St. John's Church, to fling his Sinful +Ballast overboard and lighten ship. How +he swore! I never heard a man take the +entrails of Alexander the Great in vain +before; but this was an ordinary expletive +with Don Ercolo. He belonged to the +Italian Language, though I suspected he +had a dash of the Spanish in him; and +many a Gay Bout over the choicest of +Wines have I had with him at his Inn, as +their College-halls are sometimes called. He +could drink like a Fish, and fight like a +Paladin. He was a good Practical Sailor and +Master of Navigation; Rode with ease and +dexterity; and was a Proficient in that most +difficult trick of the <i>Manège</i>, that of riding<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[216]</a></span> +a horse <i>en Biais</i>, as the French term it, and +of which our Newcastle has learnedly +treated; was an admirable Performer on the +Guitar and Viol di Gamba; Sung very +sweetly; Fenced exquisitely; must have +been in his Youth (he was now about Sixty, +and his Hair was grizzled grey) as Beautiful +as a Woman, as Graceful as my Sweet Protectress +Lilias, as Brave as the Cid, and as +Cruel as Pedro of Spain. As it is so long +ago, and the Principal Parties in the Affair +are all Dead, I don't mind disclosing that +my Instructions from his Eminence the Cardinal +were to Buy the Cavaliere di San +Lorenzo at any Price. I told him so plainly +over a Flask of Right Alicant, at a little +Feast I had made for him in return for his +many Hospitalities, and gave him to understand +that he had but to say the word, and +Scroppa, the great Goldsmith of Strada +Reale, would be glad to cash his Draft for +any Sum under Fifty Thousand Ducats. For +his Eminence wanted the Cavaliere to be a +Friend of France, and France at that time<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[217]</a></span> +thought that she very much wanted the +Island of Malta.</p> + +<p>Don Ercolo was not in the least angry; +only, he Laughed in my Face.</p> + +<p>"Chevalier Escarbotin," he said gaily, +"you have mistaken your man. Tell his +Eminence the Cardinal de —— that he may +go and hang himself. I am not to be +bought. I am Rich to Two Hundred and +Fifty Thousand ounces of Gold, all got out +of spoiling the Infidels. When I die, I shall +leave half to the Order, and half to the families +of certain Poor Women Creatures whom +I have wronged, and who are Dead."</p> + +<p>I said, to appease him, that I was but +Joking.</p> + +<p>"Ta, ta, ta!" retorts he. "I know your +Trade well enough. I have been too much +among men not to be able to scent out a +Spy. But you are a very Jovial Fellow, +Escarbotin; and I don't care what you are, +so long as you are not a Turk, which, by +the way, I don't think you would mind +turning."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[218]</a></span></p> + +<p>"O, Signore Cavaliere!"—I began to expostulate.</p> + +<p>"What does it matter?" quoth Don +Ercolo. "Does it matter anything at all? +Perhaps some of these days, when I am tired +of the Eight Points, I shall take the Turban +myself."</p> + +<p>"A Renegado!" I cried.</p> + +<p>"Many a brave Gentleman has turned +Renegado ere this," answered he. "Next to +the pleasure of Fighting the Turks, I should +esteem the condition of being a Turk myself, +and fighting against the Order of Malta. +But I forgot. You are a Lutheran; although +how you came to be a Protestant, with that +name of Escarbotin, I can't make out."</p> + +<p>I murmured something about belonging +to the Reformed Church at Geneva; although +I forgot that they were mostly Calvinists +there, not Lutherans. But of this Don Ercolo +took little notice, and went on.</p> + +<p>"When you write to the Cardinal, tell him +that Ercolo Amadeo Sparafucile di San Lorenzo +is not to be purchased. The sly old +Fox! He knows I have great influence with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[219]</a></span> +my Uncle the Grand Master. Tell him that +I am very much obliged to him for his Offer, +and thank him for old Acquaintance' sake. +Nay; I believe I am some kind of Kinsman +of his Eminence, on the Mother's side. But +assure him that I am not in the least Angry +with him. If I were Poor, I should probably +accept his Offer; but none of the Poor +Knights of our Order are worth Buying. It +matters little to me whether France, or Spain, +or even Heretic England gets hold of this +scorching Rock, with its Swarms of Hussies +and Rascals; only I prefer amusing myself, +and fighting the Turks, to meddling in +Politics, and running the risk of a life-long +dungeon in the Castle of St. Elmo."</p> + +<p>There was a long Silence after this, and +he seemed plunged in profound Meditation. +Suddenly he fills a Cup with Wine, drains +it, and, in his old careless manner, says +to me,</p> + +<p>"Tell him this—be sure to tell him, lest +he should be at the trouble of sending Emissaries +to Poison me—I have the best Antidote +of any in the Levant, and shall take<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[220]</a></span> +three drops of it after every Bite and Sup for +Six Months to come. Not that I dread you. +All Spy as you are, you still look like an +Honest Fellow. <i>You</i> would not poison an +old Friend, would you, Little <span class="smcap">Jack Dangerous</span>?"</p> + +<p>I started to my feet, and stared at the +grizzled, handsome Knight in blank amazement. +We had been conversing in the +French tongue; but the latter part of his +Speech he had uttered in mine own English, +and with a faultless accent. Moreover, +where before had I heard that Voice, had I +seen that Face? My Memory rolled back +over the hills and valleys of years; but the +Mountains were too high, and the Recesses +behind them inaccessible without Mental +Climbing, for which I was not prepared.</p> + +<p>"Little Jack Dangerous," continued the +grizzled Knight, "where have you been +these Seven-and-thirty Years? When I +knew you first, you were but a poor little +Runaway Schoolboy, and I was a Tearing +Fellow in the Flush and Pride of my hot +Youth."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[221]</a></span></p> + +<p>"A Runaway Schoolboy!" I stammered.</p> + +<p>"Ay! had you not fled from the Tyranny +of one Gnawbit?"</p> + +<p>"I remember Gnawbit well," I answered, +with a shudder.</p> + +<p>"Do you remember Charlwood Chase, +and the Blacks that were wont to kill +Venison there?"</p> + +<p>"I do."</p> + +<p>"And Mother Drum, and Cicely, and +Jowler, and the Night Attack, and how +near you were being hanged? Do you remember +Captain Night?"</p> + +<p>A Light broke in upon me. I recognised +my earliest Protector. I seized his Hand. +I was fairly blubbering, and would have +rushed into his Arms; but there was something +Cold and Haughty in his Manner that +repulsed me.</p> + +<p>"'Tis well," he said. "I am a Knight +of the most Illustrious Order of St. John of +Jerusalem, and an Italian Cavalier of Degree. +You——"</p> + +<p>"I am a Spy," I cried out half-sobbing. +"What was I to do? My Malignant Fate<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[222]</a></span> +hath ever been against me. I am despicable +in your Eyes, but not so despicable as I am +in mine own."</p> + +<p>"There, there," he cries out, very placably. +"There's no great harm done, and there's +much of a muchness between us. When +you first came across me, was I not stealing +the King's Deer in Charlwood Chase, besides +being in trouble—I don't mind owning to +you now—on account of King James? +'Twixt you, Jack Dangerous, Flibustier, +Saltabadil, and Spy, and Captain Night, now +called Don Ercolo et cetera, et cetera di San +Lorenzo, and a Knight of Malta, there is +not much, perhaps, to choose. The World +hath its strange Ups and Downs, and we +must e'en make the best of them. Sit you +down, Jack Dangerous, and we will have +t'other Flask."</p> + +<p>We had t'other Flask, and very good +Wine it was; and for the rest of the time I +remained in Malta, Don Ercolo continued to +be my Fast Friend, even as he had been in +my Youth. And yet 'twas mainly through +his Instrumentality that I quitted the Island;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[223]</a></span> +for he sent his Page to me with a Letter, +written in our own dear English Tongue, in +the which he instantly desired me, as I +valued my Life and the Interests of my Employers, +to put the Broad Seas between myself +and the Grand Master; for that an +Inkling of my Errand had got wind, and +that the Party unfavourable to France being +then uppermost, I ran immediate risk of +being cast into a Dungeon, if not Hanged. +For this Reason, said Don Ercolo, he must +forbear any further Commerce with me (not +wishing to draw Suspicion on himself, for +the Knights are very jealous in Political +Affairs); but he assured me of his continued +Friendship, and desired if I stood in Need +of any Funds for my Journey, to inform the +Page, that he might furnish me secretly +with what Gold I needed. But I wanted +nothing in this way, having ample Credits; +so making up my Valises with all convenient +Speed, the Chevalier Escarbotin bade +adieu to Malta.</p> + +<p>I took a passage in a Speronare that was +bound to Candia, where I hoped to find<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[224]</a></span> +some Trading Vessel of heavier Burden to +take me to Constantinople. The Mediterranean +Sea here very beautiful, and delightful +to see the Dolphins, Tunnies, and other Fish, +that frequently leapt out of the Water, and +followed our Ship in great Numbers. Also +a Waterspout, which is a Phenomenon very +well known to Seamen in the Levant Trade, +and reckoned very dangerous. It looked +mighty Fierce and Terrific; and our Sailors, +to conjure it away, had recourse to the Superstitious +Devices of cutting the air with a +Black-Handled Knife, and reading the First +Chapter of St. John's Gospel, accounted of +great Efficacy in dispersing these Spouts.</p> + +<p>Woe is me! After Six Days' most pleasant +Sailing, and after doubling Cape Spada, +and in very sight of Canea (which is the +Port of Candia), a strange Sail hove in Sight, +gave Chase, came up to us an hour before +sundown, and without as much as, By your +leave, or With your leave, opened Fire upon +us. A Couple of Swingeers from her Double-shotted +Guns were a Bellyful for our poor +little Speronare, in which there were but Ten<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[225]</a></span> +Men and a Boy, Passengers included; and +we were fain to submit. Oh, the intolerable +Shame and Disgrace! that Jack Dangerous, +who had been All Round the World with +that Renowned Commander, Captain Blokes, +and had Chased, Taken, and Plundered +many a good tall ship belonging to the +Spaniards,—ay, and had landed on their +Main, Spoiled their Cities and Settlements, +Toasted their fine Ladies, and held their +Chief Governors to Ransom,—should be laid +in the Bilboes by a Rascally African Pirate +Vessel mounting Nine Guns, and belonging +to the most Heathenish, Knavish, and Bloodthirsty +Town of Algiers. My Gall works +now to think of it; but Force was against +us, and the Disaster was not to be helped. +I was in such a Mad Rage as to be near +Braining the Captain of the Speronare with +a Marline-Spike, and would have assuredly +blown out the Brains of the first Moor that +boarded us, had not the Italian Captain and +his Mate seized each one of my arms, and by +Main Force wrested my Weapons from me. +And in this (though hotly enraged with 'em<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[226]</a></span> +at first, and calling them all kinds of Abusive +Epithets) I think they acted less like +Traitors than like Persons of Sense and Discretion; +for what were we Ten (and the +Boy) against full Fifty powerful Devils, all +armed to the Teeth, and who would assuredly +have cut all our Throats had we +shown the least Resistance?</p> + +<p>So they had their Will of us, and we were +all made Prisoners, preparatory to undergoing +the worse Fate of Slaves. Vain now, +indeed, were all his Eminence's Secret Precautions +about the Concealment of Missives; +for these Rascal Moors made no more ado, +but stripped us of every Rag of Clothing, +ripping up the Seams thereof, and examining +our very Hair, in quest of Gold and Jewels. +The Boatswain, however, that was appointed +to search me, after taking from me all my +Stock of Money, which was Considerable, +returned to me the famous Bit of Parchment +between the Glasses, which was to bear me +Harmless against the Claws of Holy Mother +Church if she happened to turn Tiger-Cat; +for these Mahometans have a profound re<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227">[227]</a></span>spect +for Charms and Amulets, and very +like he took this for one, which could be no +good to him, an Infidel, but might serve a +Frank at a pinch. There was another +Article, too, which he restored to me, after +Examination, and of which I have hitherto +made no mention. What was this but a +little Portrait of my Beloved Protectress, +which I carried with me next my Heart? +Not that I had ever ventured to be so bold +as to Ask her for such a pledge, or that +she had been complaisant enough to give it +me; but while I was in Paris there had been +limned by the great French Painter, +Monsieur Boucher, a Picture of one of the +Opera Ballets, not Orpheus's Story, but +something out of Homer's Poetry,—<i>Ulysse +chez Alcinous</i>, I think 'twas called,—and this +Picture contained very Life-like Effigies of +all the Dancers that stood in the front rank, +of whom my sweet Mistress Lilias was one. +From this an Engraving in the Line Manner +was made, which was put forth by the Print-sellers +just before I left Paris; and I declare +I gave a Louis d'Or, and Ten Livres, Twelve<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_228" id="Page_228">[228]</a></span> +Sols, for a Copy, and cutting out the Pictured +Head of my Protectress with a sharp +Penknife, had it pasted down and framed in +a Golden Locket. When the Boatswain saw +this, he Grinned, till the Turban round his +tawny Head might have been taken for a +Horse-collar. He wrenched the Portrait out +of its Frame, and put the Gold among the +heap of Plunder that was gathered, for after +division, on the Deck, and was then about to +throw the dear Bit of Paper into the Sea,—for +these Moors think it Sinful to portray +the Human Countenance in any way,—but +I besought him so Earnestly, both by Signs +and supplicatory Gestures, and even, I believe, +Tears, to restore it to me, that he desisted; +and putting his Finger to his Lips, +as a Hint that I was not to reveal his +Clemency to his Commander, gave me back +my precious Portrait. He would have, however, +the fine Chain I wore round my Neck; +so I was fain to make an Opening between +the two Sheets of Glass that covered my +Amulet, and push in the Portrait, face downwards; +and the two together I hung to a bit<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_229" id="Page_229">[229]</a></span> +of slender Lanyard. But all my brave Clothes +were taken from me, and in an Hour after +my Capture I was Bare-footed, and with no +other Apparel than a Ragged Shirt and a +Pair of Drawers of Canvas. To this Accoutrement +was speedily added about +Twenty-one Pounds of Fetters on the +Wrists and Ankles; and then I, and the +Captain, and the Mate, and the Men, and +the Boy, were put into a Boat and taken on +board the Algerine, where we were flung into +the Hold, and had nothing better to eat for +many days than Mouldy Biscuit and Bilge-Water. +The Cargo of the Speronare was +mostly Crockery-ware and Household Stuff, +for the use of the Candiotes; and the Moors +would not be at the trouble of Removing, so +they Scuttled her, and bore away to the +Norrard.</p> + +<p><i>Item.</i>—I swallowed my Despatches; but +the Moors got hold of my Letters of Credit +and my Cipher.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_230" id="Page_230">[230]</a></span></p> +<h2>CHAPTER THE EIGHTH.</h2> + +<h3>AFTER MANY SURPRISING VICISSITUDES, J. DANGEROUS +BECOMES BESTUSCHID BASHAW.</h3> + + +<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">So</span> we were all taken into Algiers. 'Tis +called "The Warlike" by that proud People, +the Turks; but with much more Reason, I +think, should it be named "The Thievish." +Out upon the Robbers' Den! This most +abominable Place, which has, during so many +Ages, braved the Resentment of the most +powerful Princes of Christendom, is said to +contain above 100,000 Mahometans,—among +them not above Thirty Renegadoes,—15,000 +Jews, and 4000 Christian Slaves. 'Tis full +of Mosques and other Heathenish places of +Worship, and is strongly Fortified, both +towards the Sea and the Land. The Ship +that took us was a Brigantine; and they<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_231" id="Page_231">[231]</a></span> +have nigh a Hundred of 'em (besides Rowboats), +mounting from Ten to Fifty Guns, +with which they ravage the Trade of Europe. +There is little within the City that is Curious, +save the Dogs, which are very abundant, and +very Fierce and Nasty. The Street Bab-Azoun +is full of Shops, and Jews dealing in +Gems and Goldsmiths' Work. The Hills and +Valleys round the City are every where +beautified with Gardens and Country Seats, +whither the Wealthy Turks retire during +the Heats of Summer. Some of the Wild +Bedoween Tribes up the country go Bare-headed, +binding their Temples only with a +Fillet to prevent their hair growing troublesome. +But the Moors and Turks in Algiers +wear on the Crowns of their Heads a small +Cap of Scarlet Woollen Cloth, that is made +at Fez. The Turban is folded round the +bottom of these Caps, and by the fashion of +the folds you can tell the Soldiers from the +Citizens. The Arabs wear a loose Garment +called a Hyke, which serves them as a complete +Dress by Day, and a Bed and Coverlet +by Night. 'Tis observable that when the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_232" id="Page_232">[232]</a></span> +Moorish Women appear in Public, they +constantly fold themselves so close up in +their Hykes that very little of their Faces +can be seen; but in the Summer Months, +when they retire to their Country Seats, +they walk about with less Caution and +Reserve, and, at the approach of a Stranger, +only let fall their Veils.</div> + +<p>What became of the Master and Crew of +the Speronare I know not. They were but +Weakly Creatures; and I conjecture were +sold off into private Hands and sent up the +country. Now, although I was past the +Middle Age, and indeed drifting into years, +I was still of Unbowed Stature and great +Strength, and a Personable Fellow, hardened +in the furnace of Danger and Adventure. +This led to my being reserved from the +public Slave-Market for the Dey of Algiers' +own use. Woe is me, again! The Distinction +profited me little, for it merely amounted +to my being made Stroke-oar of the third +row of the Dey's State-barge, or Galleasse. +Imagine me now, in a Tunic and Drawers +of Scarlet Serge, and a White Turban round<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233">[233]</a></span> +my Head to keep me from Sun-stroke, +chained by the Ankles to a bench, and with +an Iron Collar round my Neck, from which +another Chain passed to a Bar running fore +and aft the whole length of the Galleasse. +Between the benches of Rowers runs a +narrow Planking; and up and down this +continually patrols a great Tawny Ruffian +of a Moorish Boatswain, armed with a Whip +of Rhinoceros Hide, which, with a Will, he +lays on to the Shoulders of those who do not +tug hard enough at the Oar. Miserable and +fallen as was my state, I did yet manage to +evade the crowning Degradation of Stripes; +for, being a Man used to the Sea, and full +of Courageous Activity, I got through my +toil so as to make it impossible for my +Superiors to find fault with me; and besides, +in a few words of Lingua Franca that I +picked up, I gave the Boatswain to understand +that if he ever hit me with his Rhinoceros +Thong, I should take the earliest +opportunity of Strangling him. As for our +Food, 'twas mainly Beans, and in the morning +a Mess of boiled Maize they call Cous<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234">[234]</a></span>coussou, +with some villanous Rank Butter, +melted, poured over it. And sometimes the +Carcass of a Sheep that had died of Disease +was given to us. But whatever we had was +eaten on our benches, and the Cook of the +Galleasse passed up and down the planking +to serve out the Rations. We Ate on our +benches, we Slept on our benches, and some +of us died on our benches. There were +Ninety-two Christian Slaves on board the +Dey's Galleasse, and Twelve on my Bench. +Being Stroke-oar, I was spared the continual +contemplation of a Man's back in front of +me, which other Slaves have told me makes +you so mad that you want to Bite him; but +'twas scarcely less Vexatious to have behind, +as I had, a Chattering Fellow of a Frenchman, +for ever jabbering forth his complaints, +and not bearing them with the surly Dignity +of a Briton. I could almost <i>hear</i> this fellow +grimace; and he was never tired of bemoaning +his bygone happy state as a Hairdresser's +Journeyman in the Rue St. Honoré at Paris. +"Why did a Vain Ambition prompt me to +journey from Marseilles to Constantinople?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235">[235]</a></span> +cried he about Fifty times a day. "Why +did I rely on the protection of my Wife's +Cousin, who gave me recommendations to +his brother, Cook-in-Chief to the Ambassador +of France at the court of the Antique +Byzantium (<i>l'antique Byzance</i>)? Where is +my Wife? Where is my Wife's Cousin? +They are drinking the wine of Ramponneau; +they are dancing at the Barriers. Oh, my +Cocotte! where is my Cocotte?"</p> + +<p>"Hang your Cocotte!" I used to cry out +in a rage. "'Tis bad enough to be mewed +up here like a Bear in a pit, without being +worried by a counfounded Barber's Clerk!"</p> + +<p>I had been Tugging at the Oar full Six +Months, when a change came over my +lamentable Lot. The Dey of Algiers was +at this time one Mahomet Bassa, a very +Bold, Fierce, Fighting Man, but of the +meanest Extraction, and one, indeed, that +had been no more than a common Soldier, +from which he had sprung to be, by turns, +Oda-Bashee or Lieutenant, Bullock-Bashee +or Captain, Tiah-Bashee or Colonel, and +Aga or General. For among these strange<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_236" id="Page_236">[236]</a></span> +people every valiant and aspiring Soldier,—I +wish 'twas so in England,—though taken +yesterday from the Plough, may be considered +as Heir-Apparent to the Throne. +Nor are they ashamed of the obscurity of +their birth. This Mahomet Bassa, in a dispute +he once had with the Spanish Consul, +said: "My mother sold Sheep's Trotters, +and my father Neat's Tongues; but they +would have been ashamed to expose for sale +on their stalls a Tongue so worthless as +thine." Mahomet Bassa was, like most of +the Turks, a man of Pleasure, and his Harem +was furnished with an extraordinary number +of choice Beauties.</p> + +<p>His Highness (as he is called), happening +to single me out from the rest of the Slaves +on board of the Galleasse, and being told that +I was English—for equally in hopes of +Bettering my Condition, and for the purpose +of keeping Secret my Employment with his +Eminence, I had avowed myself to be of +that Nation—ordered me to be released +from my Chains, and brought before him at +the Divan. Through his Interpreter, a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_237" id="Page_237">[237]</a></span> +cunning Rogue from Corfu, who spoke most +Languages indifferently well, he asked me +who I was, and how I came to be aboard +the Speronare. I answered, conveniently +mixing fact with fiction, that I had been a +Captain by Sea and Land in the Service of +the King of England; that I had earned a +good deal of Prize-Money; had retired +from Active Duties, being now nigh upon +Fifty years of Age, and was taking my +pleasure by voyaging in a part of Europe +with which I had hitherto been little +acquainted. This Answer seemed to satisfy +him pretty well; although he was very +curious to know whether I had any Kindred +in the Island of Malta, or any foregathering +among the Knights. Fortunately for me +the Interpreter, to whom I had given a +hint of ultimate Reward, deposed that I +could not speak twenty words of Maltese +(which is a kind of Bastard Italian); and he +told me that if it had been discovered that +I was in any way Connected with the Order, +I should surely have been Impaled; the +Dey being then in a towering rage with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_238" id="Page_238">[238]</a></span> +the Knights, one of whose commanders had +just captured one of his finest Brigantines, +and Dressed Ship, as he humorously put +it, by hanging every Man-Jack of the Crew +at the Yard-arm, and the Algerine Captain +at the Mizen. The Dey then asked me if I +had any Friends who I thought would pay +my Ransom, the which he placed at the +Moderate Computation of Four Thousand +Gold Achmedies (about Fifteen Hundred +Pounds sterling). I answered, that I +thought I could raise about half that Sum, +if I were allowed to communicate with one +Monsieur Foscue, a Banker at Marseilles, +upon whom I had—or rather my Captors +had—a Letter of Credit, which they had +taken from me. But by Ill-luck this Letter +of Credit could not be found. The Captain +and Crew of the Rover that took the Speronare +were all well bastinadoed about it, +but no Letter was forthcoming; and I am +more inclined to think that it was thrown, +in sheer Ignorance, overboard, than that it +was Embezzled. However, as 'twas not to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_239" id="Page_239">[239]</a></span> +be discovered, <ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'they'">the</ins> Dey began to look upon +me as an Impostor; but I earnestly represented +to the Interpreter that, if I had time +to write to Monsieur Foscue, all would be +right. This I had his Highness's gracious +permission to do, and meanwhile was to +remain a Slave; but was not sent back to +the Galleys. Being a Strong Fellow, and professing +to know something about Gardening—Lord +help me! I had never touched a +Spade ten times in my Life—I was sent to +work in his Highness's Gardens at the +Castle of Sitteet-ako-Leet. As for my +Letter, I penned it in as good French as +I could muster, begging Monsieur Foscue +to communicate at once with his Eminence, +telling him how I had been captured, and +that my Letter of Credit had been taken +from me, and of the Sorry Plight I was now +in. I was given to understand that from +Six to Nine Months must pass by before I +could expect an Answer; for that Safe Conducts +to Christian Packets between Algiers +and Marseilles were only granted thrice a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_240" id="Page_240">[240]</a></span> +year, and the last was but just departed. +Whereupon I resigned myself to my Captivity, +hoping for Better Days.</p> + +<p>The Head Gardener of the Dey was an +old Renegado German, named Baupwitz, +who tried hard to convert me to the Mussulman +Faith. But in addition to my stanch +Attachment to the Protestant Religion, I +could see that the State and Condition of +the few Renegados in Algiers was very +mean and miserable, and that they were +despised alike by Turks, Moors, Arabs, +Bedoweens, and Jews. And, indeed, what +good had Baupwitz done himself by turning +Paynim? Thus much I put to him plainly; +at which the Old Man was angered, and for +some days used me very spitefully; when +the Dey, coming to the Castle, took it into +his head to have me brought back to +Algiers, and enrolled among his Musicians +as a Player upon the Cymbals. I declare +that although able to troll out a Stave now +and then, I could not so much as Whistle +"God save the King;" but I managed to +clash my two Saucepan-Lids or Cymbals<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241">[241]</a></span> +together and to make a Noise, which is all +the Turks care for, they having no proper +Ear for Music. As one of his Highness's +Musicians, I was dressed very grandly, with +a monstrous Turban all covered with Gold +Spangles and Silk Tassels; but I had a +Collar of Silver riveted round my Neck, and +Silver Shackles round my Ancles, and Silver +Manacles round my Wrists; and was still +a Slave.</p> + +<p>The rest of the Musicians were either +Black Negroes or Cophtic Christians, and +they used me with Decent Civility; nor did +the Master of the Musicians—otherwise a +most cruel Moor—go out of his way to +flout, much less smite me with his Rattan. +If he had dared but to lay one Stripe upon +me, I would have sprang upon the Wretch +and dashed out his Brains with my Cymbals, +even if I had been put upon the Pale for it +half an hour afterwards.</p> + +<p>Lodged in the Guard-house at the Dey's +Palace, with pretty abundant Rations, and +some few Piastres daily to buy Wine (I +being a Frank) and Tobacco, and pretty well<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_242" id="Page_242">[242]</a></span> +treated by the Colologlies, or Moorish Soldiers, +I did not pass such a very bad time of +it; and when off Duty, had liberty to go +about the City and Suburbs pretty much as +I chose. And I was a hundred times better +off than the Moslem Slaves are at Malta.</p> + +<p>These Algerines are an Uncouth, Savage +People; and the Turkish Despotism has +quite destroyed that security and Liberty +which of old gave birth and encouragement +to Learning: hence the knowledge of Medicine, +Philosophy, and the Mathematics, +which once so flourished among the Arabs, +is now almost entirely lost. The Children +of the Moors and Turks are sent to School +at about Six years old, where they are +taught to Read and Write for the value of +about a Penny a week of our Money. +Instead of Paper or a Slate, each boy has a +piece of thin square Board, slightly daubed +over with Whiting; on this he makes his +Letters, which may be wiped off or renewed +at pleasure. Having made some progress +in the Koran, he is initiated into the Ceremonies +and Mysteries of the Mahometan<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_243" id="Page_243">[243]</a></span> +Religion; and when he has distinguished +himself in any of these branches of Learning, +he is Richly Dressed, mounted on a Horse +finely Caparisoned, and paraded, amidst the +Huzzas of his School-fellows, through the +Streets; while his Friends and Relations +assemble to congratulate his Parents, and +load him with Toys and Sweetmeats. And +this Observance answers to our Western +Rite of Confirmation. But after being three +or four years at School, the Boys are put +'Prentice to Trades or enrolled in the Army, +where they very speedily forget all they +have learnt.</p> + +<p>Though such bold Sailors, the Algerines +are very despicable as Navigators. Their +chief Astronomer, Muley Hamet Ben Daoud, +when I was there, who superintended and +regulated the Hours of Prayer by the Moon +and Stars, had not the skill to make a Sundial; +and in Navigation they cannot get +beyond Pricking of a Chart, and distinguishing +the Eight principal Points of the +Compass. Even Chemistry, which was +once the favourite Science of these people, is<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244">[244]</a></span> +at present only applied to the Distilling of +a little Rose-water. The Physicians chiefly +study the Spanish Translation of Dioscorides +(that was a Learned Leech in Olden Times); +but the Figures of the Plants and Animals +are more consulted than the Descriptions: +yet are these Knaves naturally Subtle and +Ingenious; wanting nothing but Application +and Patronage to cultivate and improve +their Faculties. They are for the most part +Predestinarians, and pay little regard to +Physic, either leaving the Disorder to contend +with Nature, or making use of Charms +and Incantations. They, however, resort +to the Hammam, or Hot Bagnio (a great +Sweating-bath, and a sovereign Remedy for +most Distempers), and have a few Specifics +in general use. Thus, in Pleurisy and the +Rheumatics they make several Punctures on +the part affected with a Red-hot Needle; +and into simple Gun-shot Wounds they +pour Fresh Butter almost boiling hot. The +Prickly Pear roasted in Ashes is applied to +Bruises, Swellings, and Inflammations; and +a dram or two of the Round Birthwort is<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_245" id="Page_245">[245]</a></span> +esteemed the best remedy in the world for +the Choler. But few Compound Medicines; +only, for that dreadful scourge the Plague +(from which Lord deliver all Men not being +Heathens!), they commonly use a Mixture +of Myrrh, Saffron, Aloes, and Syrup of +Myrtle-berries,—which does not hinder 'em +from dying like Sheep with the Rot.</p> + +<p>There are no Public Clocks here; those +contrivances, with Bells, being held an +Impious Aping of Providence. And the +only way you have of telling the Time is by +the Fellows up in the Minarets calling 'em +to Prayers. Some of the rich Agas have +Watches, bought or stolen out of Europe; +but they are usually spoilt by the Women +of the Harem playing with 'em. The Dey's +principal Wife, Zoraïde Khanum, is said to +have boiled a large Gold Chronometer, made +by Silvain of Paris, with Cream and Sweet +Almonds. Yet does a remnant of their +Ancestors' old skill in Arithmetic and +Algebra linger among 'em; for whereas not +One in Twenty Thousand can do an Equation +(and Captain Blokes taught me, and I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_246" id="Page_246">[246]</a></span> +have since forgotten How), yet the Merchants +are frequently very dexterous in Reckoning +by Memory, and have also a singular method +of Numeration, by putting their hands into +each other's Sleeves, and touching one +another with this or that Finger, or a particular +joint, each standing for a determined +Sum or Number. Thus, without ere moving +their lips,—and your Mussulman has a wholesome +horror of squandering Words,—they +conclude Bargains of the Greatest Value.</p> + +<p>None of the Women think themselves +completely Adorned till they have tinged +the Lashes and the edges of their Eyelids +with the powder of Lead-Ore. This they +do by dipping a Bodkin of the thickness of +a Quill into the Powder, and dragging it +under the Eyelids. This gives their Eyes a +Sooty colour, but is thought to add a Wonderful +Grace to their Complexions. And +was not this that which Jezebel did in the +Ancient Time?<a name="FNanchor_C_3" id="FNanchor_C_3"></a><a href="#Footnote_C_3" class="fnanchor">[C]</a> The Old Custom of plighting +their Troth by drinking out of each<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_247" id="Page_247">[247]</a></span> +other's Hand is the only Ceremony used by +the Algerines at their Marriages. The +Bridegroom may put away his Wife whenever +he pleases, upon the forfeiture of the +Dowry he has settled upon her; but he +cannot afterwards take her again until she +has been Re-married and Divorced from +another Man. After all, the Wives are +only held as a better class of Servants, that +when their Toil is over become Toys. The +greater part of the Moorish Women would +be esteemed Beauties even in England, and +as Children they have the finest Complexions +in the World; but at Thirty they become +Wrinkled Old Women. For a Girl is often +a Mother at Eleven, and a Grandmother at +Twenty-two; and their Lives being generally +as long as Europeans, these Matrons often +live to see Children of many Generations. +They are desperately Superstitious, and +hang the Figure of an Open Hand round +the Necks of their Children; and never an +Algerine Pirate goes out of Port without +such a Hand painted on the Stern, as a +counter Charm to an Evil Eye. Truly there<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_248" id="Page_248">[248]</a></span> +are some Christian Folks not much less +foolish in their Superstitions; and Rich and +Poor among the Neapolitans carry a forked +bit of Coral about with them, to conjure +away this same Evil Eye, which they call +<i>Gettatura</i>.</p> + +<p>They have a kind of Monks called Marabutts, +who are supposed to lead an Austere +Life, and pass their lives in counting a +Chaplet of Ninety-nine Beads; but who +are, in truth, Impudent Beggars, Thieves, +and Profligates. And this is pretty well the +Character of the whole body of Algerines, +from the Dey in his Palace to his Father +who sells Sheep's Trotters. There are a +few Grave People, in no constant Employ +(that it is to say, they have made their +fortunes by Murder and Piracy, and are +now Retired), who spend the day, either in +conversing with one another at the Barber's +Shops, or at the Bazaars and Coffee-houses. +But the greater part of the Moorish and +Turkish Youth are the wildest of Gallants +and Roysterers, and waste their time in the +most unseemly Fandangoes.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249">[249]</a></span></p> + +<p><i>Item.</i>—These Marabutts are no better +than the Mountebanks I have seen at the +Carnival of Venice or at Southwark Fair. +One Seedy Mustapha tells me that a neighbouring +Marabutt had a solid Iron Bar, +which, upon command, would give the same +Report and do as much Mischief as a Piece +of Cannon. At Seteef, too, there was one +famous for Vomiting Fire; but the Renegado +Baupwitz, who had seen him, assured +me 'twas all a trick; that his Mouth did +certainly seem to be all in a Blaze, while he +counterfeited Violent Agony; but that on +close inspection it appeared that the Flames +and Smoke with which he was surrounded +arose from Tow and Sulphur, which he had +contrived to kindle under his Hyke. The +most commendable thing I can find in the +Algerine Character is the great respect they +pay to their Dead. They don't cram 'em +into stifling little Graveyards in the midst +of crowded towns, as we do, to our injury +and shame; but have large Burial-grounds, +at a good distance from their towns and +villages. Each Family has a particular<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_250" id="Page_250">[250]</a></span> +Part, walled in like a garden, where the +Bones of their Ancestors have remained +undisturbed for many generations. The +Graves are all distinct and separate, and the +space between as planted with Beautiful +Flowers, bordered round with Stone, or +paved over with Tiles. The Graves of the +Great People are likewise distinguished by +Square Rooms with Cupolas built over +them, which, being kept constantly clean, +whitewashed, and beautified, nevertheless +continue like the hypocrites, and are but +Sepulchres full within of nothing but Dead +Men's Bones.</p> + +<p>It happened one fine Autumnal Afternoon, +that, my Services as Cymbal-Player +not being required until the Dey's Supper +after Evening Prayers, I was wandering for +mere Amusement in some of the least-frequented +Streets of the City; which are +here, for the sake of Shade, mere narrow +Lanes, without any Pavement but Dust, and +without a Door or Window from twenty +yards to twenty yards. In fact they are +but Passages between almost dead walls;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_251" id="Page_251">[251]</a></span> +the Houses themselves generally standing +in the midst of the Gardens. Now I quitted +the Street of Baba-zoun by the Street of +the Shroffs, or Money-changers, designing +to reach the Gate of the River; but the +Streets are all so much alike that I lost my +Way, and went blundering on from one +Lane into another, till I almost despaired +of finding my Road back again. I should +be too late for the Dey's Supper, thought I; +and although Jack Dangerous was never +given to Trembling, I began to feel very +uncomfortable concerning the Notice that +Mahomet Bassa, who was never known to +have Pity on any Human Being, Man, +Woman, or Child, might take of my +Absence. For these accursed Algerines are +most cruel in their Punishments. Trials are +very swift, and Sentence is always executed +within half an hour afterwards. Small +Offences are punished with the Bastinado, +or the Rhinoceros Whip. For Clipping +or Debasing the Public Coin the old +Egyptian punishment of cutting off the +Hands is inflicted, although the Dey, in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_252" id="Page_252">[252]</a></span> +one of his Furies, has been known to have +the Base Money melted and poured down +the Coiner's Throat. If a Jew or a Christian +is guilty of Murder, he is Burnt alive +without the gates of the City; but for +the same Crime the Moors and Arabs +are either Impaled, hung up by the +Neck over the Battlements of the City, +or thrown upon Hooks fixed upon the +Walls, below, where they sometimes +hang in Dreadful Torments for Thirty and +Forty hours together before they Expire. +The Turks, however, out of respect for their +Characters, are sent to the Aga's house, +where they are either Bastinadoed or +Strangled; and when the Women offend, +they are not exposed to the populace, but +are sent to a private House of Correction; +or, if the Crime be Capital, they are sewn +up in a Sack, carried out to Sea, and Drowned. +And for especial Criminals is reserved the +Extraordinary Barbarous punishment of +Sawing Asunder; for which purpose they +prepare two Boards, of the same length and +breadth as the Unfortunate Person, and,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_253" id="Page_253">[253]</a></span> +having tied him betwixt them, begin sawing +at the Head, and so proceed till he is divided +into Halves. 'Tis said that Kardinash, a +person who was not long since Ambassador +at the Court of England, suffered in this +wise merely for maintaining, in the face of +the Dey, that the King of Great Britain +had only One Wife.</p> + +<p>All these Grim Probabilities did I revolve +in my mind, as the Sun went on sinking, +and I could meet nothing but a few Rapscallion +Boys that, when I strove to stammer +out a few words of Arabic to ask my Way, +laughed and jeered in their Impudent manner, +and flung handfuls of Dust at me. Just as +I was losing all Patience, and determined to +Knock at the first door I came to, and make +my state known at all hazards, there came +upon me at the corner of a street the Figure +of a Woman, Muffled up, as 'tis their fashion, +in her Hyke and Burnouse, so that I could +only see her Eyes, which were smeared over +with the usual Black Stuff, but which seemed +to have somewhat of a Yellowish Cast. I +started, as if she were a Ghost just risen<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_254" id="Page_254">[254]</a></span> +from the ground; but indeed she had only +just stepped out from a little Garden-door, +that now stood Ajar. From the folds of +her White Burnouse now came out a plump +Hand, very Glossy, but very Black. She +first laid her Finger on that part of her +Hyke where her Mouth might be, to command +me to silence; then touched me on +the Arm; then pointed to a Latticed Window +high up in the wall, to give me to +understand that some one had been Watching +me from there; and then beckoned me +to Follow her. I was wofully perplexed, +and, thought I, "The Dey will have no +Cymbals to his Supper to-night, that's certain." +Still, it is never to be said that J. D. +ever shirked an adventure that promised +aught of Love or Peril; and had it been +into the jaws of a Lion, I must have followed +the Negro Emissary. After all, I +reasoned, I was a proper-looking Fellow, +although no longer in my First Youth, and +my hair beginning to whiten somewhat; +but Love levels ranks, as my Lord Grizzle<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_255" id="Page_255">[255]</a></span> +has it in Tom Thumb; and I was, perhaps, +not the first Frank Slave who was favoured +by a beauteous Moorish Lady. A Moorish +Beauty! Why, this might be, after all, a +Princess, a Sultana, a Turkish Khanum! +It turned out, however, far differently from +what I had expected. Following the Slave, +we quitted the street and passed through a +Porch, or Gateway, which the Negress carefully +locked after her. We now entered +upon a Court, with Benches on either side, +and paved very handsomely with Marble, +covered in the middle with a rich Turkey +Mat, and sheltered from the heat of the +weather by a kind of Veil, expanded by +Ropes from one side of the Parapet-wall, or +Lattice of the Flat Roof, to the other. So +into a little Cloister running round this +Court, and up a little winding stone Staircase +into another Cloister or Upper Gallery. +Then at a Door all covered with rich Filigree-work +in Gold and Colours did the Negress +knock; and by and by a soft silvery +Voice, of which the sound, somehow, made<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256">[256]</a></span> +me start and tremble much more than that +of the Old Knight of Malta had done, said +a few words in Arabic, and we went in.</p> + +<p>I found myself in a large square Apartment, +with curious latticed Windows, +through which the Evening Sunlight came, +in the prettiest of patterns, and fell, like so +many spangles disposed by an artful Embroiderer, +upon the rich Carpet. A great +Divan, or stuffed Bench of Crimson Damask, +ran all round the room, with many +soft pillows and shawls upon it; and on +this Divan, upon the side opposite the door, +sat an Eastern Lady, amazingly Dressed. +She had laid aside her Hyke, which was of +white silk gorgeously striped with gold and +crimson Bars, and all dotted with Bullion +Tassels, and sat in a tight-fitting jacket of +Red Velvet, open in front, where you could +see the Bosom of her Snowy Smock all blazing +with Emeralds and Rubies. I had never +seen so many of the latter kind of Jewels +since the days of my Grandmother, in her +Cabinet of Relics. Round her Waist was +swathed a great Cashmerian Shawl, very<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_257" id="Page_257">[257]</a></span> +rich and noble, and with a heavy Fringe; +and from among the folds peeped out a little +Poniard with a jewelled Hilt, and a knife +with a Gold and Mother-of-pearl Haft to +cut her Victuals. She wore loose Trowsers, +or Drawers, of a very fine spun silk, covered +with a raised pattern in gold thread, that, as +is the custom of the Moorish Women, were +fastened at the Knee, and then fell in quite +a torrent of Drapery down to her Ankles, +nearly covering her pretty Feet. A sweet +Fashion, and very Modest. As to the Feet +themselves,—the smallest, sure, that mortal +woman ever had,—I could, rapid as was my +survey, see that she wore no Hose; but her +tiny Toes were thrust into Slippers or Papowshes +of blue velvet, all heightened and +enriched with Gold Orris and Seed Pearls. +On her head was a dainty little cap, of the +Fez Pattern, but of velvet instead of cloth, +jewelled; and from it hung a monstrous +Tassel of Gold, which reached half-way down +the Back. As for her Hair, it hung very +nearly down to the ground, being all collected +into one Lock, and bound and plaited<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_258" id="Page_258">[258]</a></span> +with Ribbons; and being thus adorned, +were tied close together above the Lock, +the several corners of a Kerchief, made of +thin flexible plates of Gold, cut through, and +engraved in imitation of Lace. In one hand +she held a great Fan, of Peacock's Feathers, +with a Mirror in the midst; and a handle of +Gold, Emeralds, and Agate, that would have +driven a Duke's-Place Jew crazy to look at; +and in the other,—well, you know that Oriental +Fashions are different from ours, and +that the Paynim nations have the strangest +of Manners and Customs,—I declare that in +the other Hand—the dexter one—the Lady +held the Tube of a Tobacco-pipe, the which +she was smoking with great Deliberation +and apparent Relish. But 'twas a very different +Pipe to what we are in the habit of +seeing in England—having a Bowl of fine +Red Clay encrusted with Gems, a long +straight tube of Cherry-wood, and a Mouthpiece +of Amber studded with Precious Stones. +This Pipe they call a Chibook, and they +smoke it much as we do our common Clay +things; but there's another, which they<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_259" id="Page_259">[259]</a></span> +call a Nargilly, like the Hubble-bubble +smoked by the proud Planters in the Dutch +East Indies. With the Nargilly, the Smoke +passes first through Rose-water, to purify +it; and after passing through many snake-like +coils of silk and wire tubing, the Smoker +gulps it down bodily; so that it goes into +his Lungs, and must make them as sooty as +a foul Chimney. Many of the Turks are so +handy at this nasty trick, that they can +make the Smoke they have swallowed come +out of their ears, eyes, and nostrils; but I +envy them not such Mountebankery, and +when I smoke my Pipe, am content to +Blow a Cloud in a moderate and Christian +manner.</p> + +<p>I have kept you so long describing this +Eastern Lady's Dress, that you must be +growing impatient to know whether her +Face matched in handsomeness with her +Apparel; but there was the Deuce of it; +for while I stood before her, staring and +Wondering over her splendid Habiliments, I +could catch ne'er a glimpse of her Countenance, +which was entirely concealed from<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_260" id="Page_260">[260]</a></span> +view by the Veil they call a <i>Formah</i>, which +is made of a very fine gauzy stuff, but +painted in body-colour in a pattern so as to +make it Opaque, and so artfully disposed as +to hide the Face without shading any of the +splendour of the Dress. And though I +could not make out so much as the tip of +the Lady's Nose, I had a queer sensation +that she was looking at <i>me</i>, nay, even that +her eyes were twinkling in a merry manner +under her Veil. And so I remained Dumbfoundered, +quite uncertain as to the kind of +Adventure that had befallen me. Had +some Moorish or Turkish Dame designed +only to Divert herself at the expense of a +poor Christian Slave? or was the Veiled +Lady only some artful Adventuress of the +Jewish, Armenian, or Cophtic Nation, of +whom there were many here, affecting +great magnificence in their Habits and +Living?</p> + +<p>Full Ten Minutes had the Lady so gazed +upon me, I staring stupidly at her, and the +Negress continuing to enjoin me to silence +by putting her finger to her Lips. Then<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_261" id="Page_261">[261]</a></span> +clapping her little hands together (I mean +that the Lady did, for the Black Woman's +were sad Paws), in tumbles from a little +door at the side of the Divan a Negro +Urchin about eight years of age, very richly +clad, who at her command brings Pipes and +Coffee; and, signs being made to me, I sat +down on a couple of Pillows on the Ground, +smoked a Chibook, emptied a Cup, not +much bigger than an egg-shell, of Coffee,—very +Bitter and Nauseous here, for they +give you the Dregs as well as the Liquor,—all +the while staring at the Lady as though +my Eyeballs would have started out of my +Head. And by this time the Sun had quite +gone down, and as there is but little Twilight +in these parts, the Shade of Evening +fell like a great black Pall over the Room; +so the little Black Urchin came tumbling in +again with a couple of Lamps, which he set +down before the Divan. These cast a very +soft and rosy Light, passing through folds +of Pink Silk; and as soon as my eyes grew +accustomed to 'em, I could see that the +Lady had raised her Veil, that she was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_262" id="Page_262">[262]</a></span> +looking upon me with a pair of Dark, +Roguish, Twinkling Orbs, and that I was +sitting in the presence of my kind Protectress, +Lilias.</p> + +<p>"What think you of this for an Opera +Habit, goodman Cerberus?" cried she. "Is +this not much better than the Ballet of +Orpheus? And, goodness! what strange +Accoutrement have you, too, got into?"</p> + +<p>When my first ecstasies of Joy and +Amazement were over, I explained to my +Dear Patroness the Reasons (none of my +own choosing) for appearing in such a Garb +as I then wore; telling her how I had been +Galley-Slave, and was now Cymbal Player, +to the Unbelieving Dey of Algiers; and +with great Humility did I ask after her +Honoured Parent, and seek to know by +what uncommon Accident she, the erst +Ballet Dancer in the King's Opera-House +at Paris, had come to be the tenant of this +Outlandish House, and arrayed in this +Heathen Habit. She answered me with +that Candour and Simplicity which I ever +found characteristic of her. Old Mr. Lovell<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_263" id="Page_263">[263]</a></span> +was still alive, and in Paris; and this is +how his Daughter had become separated +from him. A very brilliant Engagement, as +First Dancer, indeed, had been offered to +her at the King's Theatre at Palermo; and, +after long unsuccessful importunities addressed +to the Gentlemen of the French +King's Chamber to cancel her Engagement, +these instances, owing to the untiring influence +of Cardinal de ——, had succeeded, +and she was allowed to depart. Full willingly +would she have taken her Papa with +her as a Travelling Companion; but the +Old Gentleman was now very Infirm, and +averse from Moving; and so Lilias was +placed under the Guardianship of an old +Spanish Lady, the Señora Satisfacion de +Mismar, who was the Palermo Manager's +Aunt, made his engagements for him +abroad, and played the Duenna or Singing +Old Woman in his Comedies and Operas at +home. Nothing could be properer than +this arrangement, Donna Satisfacion being +a Personage of exceeding Discretion and +Propriety of Behaviour; so the two, with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_264" id="Page_264">[264]</a></span> +half a dozen more little Dancing-girls that +had been hired to fill inferior places, started +for Bordeaux, whence they designed to take +shipping for Palermo. But by ill luck there +was no Packet or Merchant Vessel bound +for Sicily to be taken up for a long time; +and so they were fain to travel to Toulon, +avoiding Marseilles, where the Plague then +was very bad, and thence by way of Nizza +to Genoa, where they found a Brig bound +for Messina, which they thought would serve +their turn. And, in truth, the poor souls +found it but too well served; for the Brig +was captured off Bastia in Corsica by one +of these diabolical Barbary Rovers, all on +board made Slaves, and carried, not into +Algiers, but into Sallee. There, after much +suffering, poor Donna Satisfacion de Mismar +died of a Distemper of the country, and poor +Lilias was left without any other Protector +than her own Virtue and a kind Providence.</p> + +<p>'Twas a terrible condition to be left in: +Young, Fair, Friendless, and a Slave among +these Moorish Barbarians. By Heaven's +Mercy, however, the dear Girl came to no<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_265" id="Page_265">[265]</a></span> +Harm. 'Tis the custom, before the Christian +Women-captives are exposed for sale in the +public Slave-Market, where they are Handled +and put through their paces as though they +were so many Cattle, for a Private Inspection +of 'em to be made by the rich Persons +of the place, who come and take Pipes and +Coffee with the Merchant, glance over his +Stock in a respectful Manner, and often +strike a Bargain there and then. The Girls +for sale are apparelled in a sumptuous +manner, bathed, perfumed, and trinketed +out for their Private View; and their Captors +seek to render 'em docile by giving 'em +plenty of Sweetmeats. As if the intolerable +pangs of Slavery were to be allayed by +Lollipops! It chanced that among the +visitors to the Merchant's House was one +Hamet Abdoollah, a very Learned Man, a +Physician by Trade, and equally trusted by +the Bey of Tunis, the Dey of Algiers, and +him who reigned at Tripoli; but who would +not devote himself to the service of any of +these Potentates, but, loving an independent +life, served all with equal fidelity, sometimes<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_266" id="Page_266">[266]</a></span> +even travelling so far as the Capital of +Morocco, where he was in high favour with +the Savage who calls himself Emperor of +that country, which would be as piratical as +the Barbary States, only it has less Seaboard. +The father of this Physician had +been quite as learned a Man as he, and by +the name of Muley Abdoollah had travelled +much in Western Europe, where by his +Skill and Erudition he had gained so much +consideration among the Polite as to be +elected a Correspondent Member of the +Royal Society of England and the Paris +Academy of Sciences. His son was one of +the wisest and justest and most merciful of +his Species, as you will presently have cause +to admit. He was struck at once by the +Beauty, Intelligence, and Goodness of Lilias, +and his humane heart recoiled at the thought +of what her fate might have been among a +people given up to Cruelty and Lust. He +forthwith bought her of the Merchant at a +fair price; for although that crafty and rapacious +Slave-Dealer would have made him pay +Through the Nose for his Treasure, knowing<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_267" id="Page_267">[267]</a></span> +the Physician to be a man of great Wealth, +he forbore in very shame from his extortion; +for Hamet Abdoollah had but just saved his +little son out of a Fever, after he had been +given up by all the Ignorant Leeches of +Sallee.</p> + +<p>So Lilias became the Bond-servant, but +only so in name, to this Wise and Good +Man. As her dearest wish was now to +rejoin her Father, he undertook to send her +back to France, and with that view did +remove with his precious charge to Algiers, +only exacting from her a promise that while +she remained under his protection she would +wear the Moorish Habit and pass as his +Wife, so as to avoid Insult when she walked +abroad. But of any thoughts of Love and +Intrigue the Good Man was entirely free. +He was wrapped up in the study of the +Healing Art, and troubled his head much +more about Drugs, Cataplasms, and Electuaries, +than about the Bow and Arrows of +Dan Cupid. Though why the God of Love +should have been christened Daniel, it +puzzles me to comprehend. This accounts<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_268" id="Page_268">[268]</a></span> +for the manner in which I had found my +dear Protectress caparisoned in every respect +as a Moorish Dame. She told me that this +was by no means the first time she had +seen me, and that my being Cymbal-Player +in the Dey's Musicians was very well known +to her, and that her kind Guardian was on +the point of petitioning the Dey to release +me from Servitude, when by accident she +espied me from the Window, and could not +resist the temptation of having me called in.</p> + +<p>But, in her sweet regard for what was due +to Modesty and Decorum, she would have +no Parley with me save in the presence of +the Black slave,—'tis true that she did not +understand a word of English—and directly +she had come to an end of her Narrative, +she sent the Tumbling Urchin to inquire +whether the Physician had come home, the +part of the House she occupied being quite +separate and distinct from his. The smutty +little Imp comes back bringing word that +Hamet would wait upon her presently; and +anon, after discreetly tapping at the door, +he came in, a grave, Reverend Man, in a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_269" id="Page_269">[269]</a></span> +flowing Robe of Sad-coloured Taffety, and +with a long White Beard and Green Turban; +for he had made the Mecca Pilgrimage, and +yet abstained from assuming the title of +Hadji, to which he was entitled. He spoke +very good French, and even a little English +(learned from his Papa); and when I was +made known to him, asked for news of Dr. +Mead and Sir Hans Sloane, although I could +tell him but little of that worthy and +deceased Gentleman.</p> + +<p>"Happy is the Wooing that is not long +a Doing," they say; and, by this time, you +will probably have discovered that I Loved +Lilias Lovell very dearly. 'Twas no Ramping, +Rantipoling, Fiery-Furnace kind of +Calf Love on my part, but a matured <ins title="Transcriber's Note: the 'd' in this word originally printed upside down">and</ins> +sensible admixture of Gratitude and Sincere +Affection. I scorn to conceal that although +I knew myself to be by Lineage worthy the +hand of a Gentleman's Daughter,<a name="FNanchor_D_4" id="FNanchor_D_4"></a><a href="#Footnote_D_4" class="fnanchor">[D]</a> I was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_270" id="Page_270">[270]</a></span> +aware that, by the Meanness of the condition +under which I was first known to the +Lovell Family, a Gulf yawned between their +Estate and mine; and that, warm and +devoted as was my Love for the Pretty +Little Creature I had saved from the +Flames, I could but deem that she reckoned +the Humane Dog Cerberus of the Opera +Ballet as of no greater account than a real +Doggish Mastiff. But, to my extreme +Amazement and Felicity, this was not +so. I was beloved by this amiable Young +Person, to whom Ambassadors were proud +to go on their knees, and whom Gentlemen +of the Chamber would have covered with +Diamonds. With a charming frankness, +blushing and stammering, yet with Virginal +Pride, she confessed that she was enamoured +of me, and, if Fortune were propitious, +would gladly be my Wife. I could at first +scarcely realize the possibility of such great<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_271" id="Page_271">[271]</a></span> +and unmerited Happiness; for well did I +know the disparity in Age that existed +between us—how Rough and Weather-beaten +was I; and she, how Tender, +Delicate, and Good! "But does not the +Ivy twine round the Oak?" quoth the Physician, +as he smote me cheerfully on the +Shoulder. And behold, now, gnarled and +battered old Jack Dangerous, with this delicious +little Parasite creeping toward and +Nestling Round him.</p> +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_272" id="Page_272">[272]</a></span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER THE NINTH AND LAST.</h2> + +<h3>OF MY SERVICE UNDER THE GREAT TURK AS A BASHAW; +OF MY ADVENTURES IN RUSSIA AND OTHER COUNTRIES; +AND OF MY COMING HOME AT LAST AND +BUYING MY GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE (WHICH IS NOW +MINE) IN HANOVER SQUARE.</h3> + + +<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">'Twas</span> the advice of the Good Physician, +that, to prevent Accidents, we should be +Married without delay; for in these hot +countries you are here to-day and gone to-morrow, +and no one can tell what may +happen. Difficulties almost insurmountable, +'tis true, seemed to stand in the way of our +Union; but Hamet Abdoollah was able to +act almost a Magician's part to bring about +our Happiness. I was for the time being +bestowed in his House, and the next morning +the Physician hies him to the Dey, who<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_273" id="Page_273">[273]</a></span> +was in a Fury about me, and was threatening +all kinds of Bowstrings and Bastinadoes. +But his Highness happening likewise to be +suffering from Toothache, and as a Man +with a Raging Tooth would give all the +Treasures of Potosi to be quit of his Agony, +the Physician promised to Relieve him forthwith +if he would grant his Suit. The Dey +promised him any thing he could wish for, +and so Hamet Abdoollah cures him with a +little Phial full of nothing but Tar Balsam. +'Tis but just to the Mussulmans to say, that +when they have once given their Word of +Honour, they keep it with Extreme Rigour; +so that when the Physician begged pardon +for me, and License to purchase me out of +the Dey's service and take me into his own, +the Suit was very cheerfully granted. Joyfully +Hamet Abdoollah repairs to us again, +with a Firman under the Dey's own Signet +granting me my Liberty; and that very +forenoon my silver Collar, Anklets, and +Manacles were stricken off,—the Physician +returning them to the Dey's Treasury,—and +I was no longer a Slave.</div><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_274" id="Page_274">[274]</a></span> + +Although there is no Man alive who mislikes +Popery and its Superstitious Practices +more than does J. D., there is one order of +Nuns and one of Monks for whose members +I entertain a profound Love and Reverence. +Of She-Religious, I mean those Blessed +Sisters of Charity who go about the World +doing good, braving Sickness, succouring +Misery, assuaging Hunger, drying up Tears, +and smiling in the Face of Death: God +bless those Holy Women, say I, wheresoever +they are to be found! and in our own Protestant +country of England, why should we +not have similar Sisterhoods of Women of +Mercy, or Deaconesses, bound by no rigid +vows, and suffering no ridiculous Penances +of Stripes and Macerations, but obeying +only the call of Religious Charity, and going +Quietly and Trustfully about their Master's +Business? Of He-Monks, I mean the +Fathers of the Work of Redemption, or +Redemptorists, whose sole business it is to +travel about Begging and Praying of the +Rich for money to Ransom poor Christian +bodies out of Slavery; which is a better<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_275" id="Page_275">[275]</a></span> +work, I think, than praying for the deliverance +of their Souls out of Purgatory. +These Redemptorist Fathers have a permanent +Station and Correspondence at all +the Piratical Ports of the Barbary Coast; +and at stated times, when they have gathered +enough Money to redeem a certain number +of Christians, a body of the Fraternity visit +the Station, take away their Sanctified Merchandise, +and by their Humble and Devout +Carriage, and exemplary Poverty of Life, +extort admiration even from the Bloodthirsty +Heathens.</p> + +<p>Now at Algiers, about this time, there +was suffered to dwell an old Religious of +this Order, Le Père Lefanu,—who for his +Virtues and Piety was esteemed even by the +Mussulman Ulemas, and was thought a good +deal more of than any of their Marabutts +or Santons, which is a name they give to a +kind of wandering Idiots, who, the Crazier +they are, are thought the more deserving of +Superstitious Veneration. Père Lefanu was +nearly ninety years of age, and had dwelt +among these Barbarians for full sixty years<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_276" id="Page_276">[276]</a></span> +of his Life, passing his time in Meditation, +Prayer, and the Visitation of the Sick and +Needy, both among the Unbelievers and the +Christian Slaves, and at the same time transacting +all necessary business with the Dey's +Head-men for periodically redeeming those +that were in Bondage. Our good Physician +had a profound esteem for this Reverend +Person, and often visited him; and now it +was through his Ministry that Lilias and I +were to be made One. I had forgotten to +say, that my departed Saint was of the Communion +opposite to mine; but in a land of +Pagans 'tis as well to forget all differences +between Papists and Protestants, and to remember +only that we are Christians. Père +Lefanu had been ordained a Secular Priest +before he had become a Regular Monk, and, +he told me that if I had any Conscientious +Scruples as to the Husband being a Protestant +and the Wife of another way of +Thinking, I could have the marriage done +over again in whatever way I thought proper +on our return to Europe. But I was in far +too great a Hurry to be Married to look too<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_277" id="Page_277">[277]</a></span> +narrowly which way the Cat jumped; and +a Romish Wedding is surely better than +jumping over a Broomstick, which, unless +we had adopted the uncouth Moresque +custom, would have been all the Ceremony +of Matrimony we could have had. So Père +Lefanu came privately, to avoid Gossip, to +the Physician's House, and Lilias Lovell +and John Dangerous were made One in the +French Language, the contracting parties +being English, the Bridegroom's best man +a tawny Mahometan Moor, and the only +Bridesmaid a Black Negress.</p> + +<p>Our Honeymoon (we continuing to dwell +in the House of the good Hamet Abdoollah) +was one of unmixed Joy and Gladness; but +'twas too complete to last long, and soon +came a black Storm to lash into fury the +calm surface of our Life's Lake. Seized +with a Malignant Distemper, and after but +three days' Sickness, the good Hamet Abdoollah +died. His Pillow was smoothed by +our reverent hands, and with his dying +breath he blessed us. I know not if there +be any Saints in the Mussulman Church;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_278" id="Page_278">[278]</a></span> +but if ever a man deserved Canonization +from whatsoever Communion he belonged +to, I am sure it was Hamet Abdoollah, the +Moorish Physician.</p> + +<p>His Skill in Medicine had brought him +great Wealth, of which, although he was +always distributing Alms to the Poor, he +left a considerable Portion behind him. In +his last moments he sent for the Cadi and +Ulema of his Quarter, for his will to be +made, or at least to assure them by word of +mouth of his Testamentary Intentions, which +among this People would have been as religiously +carried out as though he had written +them. But, alas! when the Cadi and +Ulema arrived, he was speechless, and died +without word or sign of his Wishes.</p> + +<p>His Relations came forthwith to administer +to his Effects, and (if truth be not +unpalatable to English Heirs, that often do +the same thing) to fight and squabble over +the administration thereof. A pretty Noise +and Riot they made: now weeping and +howling over the Corse; now bursting open +Trunks, wrenching Trinkets from each other,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_279" id="Page_279">[279]</a></span> +striving to convey away Garments and Furniture, +and even tearing down the hangings +of Rich Stuff. Only the Harem, where my +one True Wife was, remained inviolate from +these Harpies; but me they overwhelmed +with the most injurious Invectives and accosted +by the foulest epithets, calling me +Infidel, Pig, Giaour Dog, Frankish Thief, +and the like, telling me that I had fattened +long enough on the Substance of a True +Believer, with the like opprobrious speeches. +I let them have their way, only giving +them to understand that the first Man who +should attempt to cross the Threshold of +my Harem, it were better for him that he +never had been Born.</p> + +<p>Soon, however, came a greater Heir at +Law than any of these, to take possession of +the Dead Man's heritage. The news of Hamet +Abdoollah's decease had come to the ears of +the Dey; and straightway he sends down a +strong guard of <ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'Coglololies'">Coglolies</ins> to Seize all in +his Name, specially enjoining the Bullock +Bashee in command to put the big Christian +Slave (meaning myself) in Fetters, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_280" id="Page_280">[280]</a></span> +equally secure, although with lighter bonds, +the fair Frankish Woman, meaning my dear +Wife Lilias. All this was no sooner said +than done. The Rough Soldiers burst into +the House, and, to prevent any misunderstanding +about me, a Cloth (for which I +was quite unprepared) was thrown over my +head from Behind; and while I was yet +struggling to free myself from this blinding +Incumbrance, the Gyves were passed over +my Wrists and Ankles. And then they removed +the Cloth, and, laden with heavy +Chains, I had to behold in Despair their +Invading the Sanctity of my Harem, and +tearing therefrom my Lilias. In vain did I +Shout, Threaten, Grind my Teeth, Implore, +Promise, and strive to Tear my Hair. They +only Laughed; and one Brutish Coglolie +made as though to strike me with the flat +of his Sabre, when I out with my foot, all +fettered as it was, and gave the Ruffian a +blow on the Jaw, the which, by the momentum +given by the Iron, I thought had +stove it in. This much infuriated his Savage +Companions; and I doubt not but they<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_281" id="Page_281">[281]</a></span> +would have finished me, but the Bullock +Bashee, who had orders to the contrary, +constrained them to stay their hand.</p> + +<p>What became of my dear Lilias, I was +not allowed to know. She was borne away, +shrieking and calling on me, with Streaming +Eyes, for help; and I saw her no more. +Myself they dragged downstairs; and when +we were come into the street, flung me, fettered +as I was, over the back of an Artillery +Horse, where I lay, face downwards, and in +a kind of stupor, as listless as a Miller's +Sack; and so, my Gyves jingling and clattering, +I was conveyed away.</p> + +<p>The cruel and remorseless Dey of Algiers +I saw no more. Some spark of shame there +might perchance be in the Ruffian's Breast +that forbade him to gaze upon the man he +had pardoned and enfranchised, and had +now traitorously Kidnapped. I suppose +that in the Thieves' philosophy of this Fellow +he reasoned that, if promises are to be +kept to Live Men, there is no need to keep +them unto Dead ones; that he was released +from all his obligations by the demise of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_282" id="Page_282">[282]</a></span> +Hamet Abdoollah; and that, as the Physician +could not cure him of the Toothache +again, if he chanced to get it, 'twas idle to +continue bestowing Favours where no Benefits +could be derived.</p> + +<p>Into a wretched Dungeon of the Arsenal +was poor J. Dangerous thrust, with naught +for victuals but Musty Beans and Stinking +Water. When I had been here, groaning +and gnashing my teeth, for seven days,—which +seemed to me thrice seven years,—a +Rascally Fellow that I knew to be a Scribe +belonging to the Divan of the Dey comes +into my Dungeon to tell me that the Packet-ship +has come in from Marseilles, and that +in answer to my letter to Monsieur Foscue, +that Merchant sends word that he knows +nothing at all about me; to which the +Rascally Scribe adds, in the Lingua Franca, +that I was no doubt an Impostor who had +trumped up a convenient Fable of my being +a Gentleman, and having Correspondents +who would be Answerable for my Ransom +in Europe, in order to get better food and +treatment until the real truth could be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_283" id="Page_283">[283]</a></span> +known. Whereupon he tells me that his +Highness the Dey had not yet quite made +up his mind as to whether he shall have me +Impaled, or merely Flayed Alive, and so +slams the door in my Face.</p> + +<p>In this Horrible Dungeon did I continue +for seven days more, mostly grovelling on +the ground, my face downwards, and praying +for Deliverance or Death. I had a mind +to dash my Brains out against the slimy +walls of the Cell, but was only stayed by +the thought of my Lilias. 'Twas always +night in the abominable Hole, which was +lighted only by a hole in the roof, about +four inches square, and which gave not into +the open air, but into a Corridor above. +But on the fifteenth night of my Captivity, +for I judged it so by the utter darkness, the +door of the Dungeon opened, and the Blessed +Old Man that was a Redemptorist Father +appeared, bearing a Lantern.</p> + +<p>"You have that about you, my son," +says he, "which should be a sign that you +are a trusted Agent of Holy Mother Church. +Can you show it?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_284" id="Page_284">[284]</a></span></p> + +<p>I pointed with one of my fettered hands +to my Breast, and made signs for him to +search for that he was in quest of. The +which he did, and after reverently kissing +the Parchment I had between the Glasses, +restored it to me.</p> + +<p>"You have been most basely entreated," +he continued. "Monsieur Foscue sent +ample funds for your Ransom, and his Eminence +is most anxious for your safety; but +the cruel Moorish Prince who governs this +unhappy city, after taking the money, +feigned that you had made your Escape +from the Arsenal, designing to keep you +here in Chains and Hunger until you should +Perish."</p> + +<p>He paused for a moment, for his Great +Age made him very feeble, and then continued:</p> + +<p>"I can deliver you from this Abode of +Misery; but it is not in my power, my son, +to give you entire Deliverance. Would +that I could! You have but to follow me +to the Quayside, where you will find a boat +to convey you on board a Turkish Mer<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_285" id="Page_285">[285]</a></span>chant-ship, +that to-morrow morning weighs +anchor for Constantinople. You will still +be a Slave to the Captain, but to your own +ingenuity I leave it to obtain complete +Freedom."</p> + +<p>"And my Wife—my dear, dear Lilias?" +I asked.</p> + +<p>The Ancient Man shook his head.</p> + +<p>"I can do nothing to bring you together +again. She cannot follow you to Stamboul; +but by Perseverance, and in Time, you may +be restored to her."</p> + +<p>"Time!" I cried out in bitter desperation. +"Time! O Father! I am growing +an old man. She is the stay and prop of +my Life; she is the one ray of sunshine cast +on a Black and Wicked Career! And she +is taken from me by these Butchers! and I +am to see her no more? What care I for +Hunger and Chains, and a Dungeon-floor +for a Pallet? They have been familiar to +me from my earliest youth. If I am not +to have my Lilias's sweet companionship +again, I will remain here, in this Hole, and +die like a Dog, as I am."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_286" id="Page_286">[286]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Take comfort, my son," said the Redemptorist +Monk. "Time and Perseverance +may, I repeat, enable you to attain +your heart's desire. Meanwhile, console +yourself with the assurance that the Fair +and Good Woman, who is your Wife, is out +of peril from lawless men. By the same +Packet-ship that brought the Letters from +Monsieur Foscue came a Sum sufficient +Doubly to Ransom the Young Woman. +The benignant protection of his Eminence +has been extended to her, and she will in +a few days return to France, and to her +Father."</p> + +<p>"But can I not see her?—cannot I touch +her Hand?—can I not press her Lip?—for +one brief moment, and for the last time?"</p> + +<p>"It is impossible," answered the Monk. +"She is watched, both by Day and Night, +by zealous agents of the Dey, and I have +no means of access to her. 'Twould be +death both to you and to myself were I +to seek to bring about a meeting between +you. Even now the precious moments are +wasting away. In another hour the Guard<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_287" id="Page_287">[287]</a></span> +will be changed, and your Escape impossible."</p> + +<p>"And how is it possible now?" I asked. +"And will no one come to Hurt through +my evasion?"</p> + +<p>"It <i>is</i> possible," he repeated. "You have +to walk but from hence to the Outer Gate +and the Quayside. Immediately you have +departed, the Body of a poor Christian +Slave, of your age and stature, who died +this morning at the Arsenal, will be conveyed +here, and garnished with your Chains. The +Dey will be told that you have died in +Prison. He loves not to look upon the faces +of those he has murdered, and will take the +word of the Aga, who is in our pay. Come! +there is not an instant to be lost. Here is +the key to your Fetters. Unlock them, +and follow me."</p> + +<p>With a heart that was now elated with +the prospect of Deliverance, and now sunk +at the thought that I was still to be separated +from my Lilias, I did as the good +Redemptorist bade me, and, casting my accursed +Shackles from me in a heap, limped<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_288" id="Page_288">[288]</a></span> +slowly forth—for the Iron had wofully +galled me. Outside the Dungeon-door +stood a couple of Coglolies, with their +Turban-cloths let down over their faces to +serve as Masks, who swiftly unlocked what +Doors remained between us and the Sea +Rampart. The Monk pressed my Hand, +gave me his Blessing, bidding me hope for +Better Times, and disappeared. Guided by +the Coglolies, and, indeed, half supported +by them, I was put into a Boat waiting at +the Quayside, as the Monk had told me, and +ten minutes' hard pulling brought us alongside +a large craft, on board which, I being +so weak, they were fain to hoist me with +Ropes. By this time I had sunk into a +kind of Lethargy, and, being conveyed +below and put into a cot in the Master's +Cabin, fell into a slumber, which lasted for +very many hours.</p> + +<p>The Captain of this ship was an English +Renegado, named Sparkenhoe. He had +served as Midshipman and Master's Mate in +a King's ship; but having been, as he conceived, +unjustly Broken for hot words that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_289" id="Page_289">[289]</a></span> +passed between him and the Captain,—this +took place at Gibraltar,—had deserted, and +hid himself on board a Merchant Brig bound +for Tangier. At last, being fond of a +Roving Life (and having the misfortune to +kill the Captain of the Merchant Brig in a +dispute concerning some Bullocks they were +shipping), he had turned Mussulman; and +after living some time among the Buccaneers +of the Riff, had come to Algiers, and been +made Captain of a Merchantman trading to +the Dardanelles, and doing a bit of Piracy +when opportunity served. 'Twas full five-and-twenty +years since he had Run from +the King of Great Britain's service; and +although his Blue Eyes and enormous Red +Whiskers still gave him somewhat of a +Saxon appearance, he had very nearly forgotten +his Mother Tongue, and only retained +English enough to enable him to mingle a +few Billingsgate Oaths with his barbarous +Levantine Lingo.</p> + +<p>This fellow, whom I heartily despised, for +he had kept all the Vices of his former +Religion, and had acquired none of the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_290" id="Page_290">[290]</a></span> +Virtues of his new one, was civil enough to +me, and informed me that all he could do +for me, in return for the Bribe he had received +from his Employers, would be to +deliver me to a Slave Merchant at Constantinople, +who would place me out in Domestic +Service where I should not be ill-treated. +But he very strongly advised me to turn +Turk or Renegado, as he himself was, saying, +that in such a case he would land me +perfectly free at the Porte, where I should +doubtless find some profitable Employment. +This I scornfully refused; whereupon he +shrugged his Shoulders, and said that I was +a Fool, but might possibly think Better of +it in Time.</p> + +<p>After three weeks' coasting among the +Isles of the Grecian Archipelago, and so +into the Sea of Marmora, we steered into the +Dardanelles 'twixt the Castles of Europe and +Asia; and the same night the Slave-Dealer +comes off in a private Caique—as the Turks +call their Canoes,—and the Renegado delivered +me up to him. I was taken to his +House at Galata, where I was kept very<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_291" id="Page_291">[291]</a></span> +close for two or three weeks, and was then +sold to a Merchant of Damascus in Asia, +that had come to Constantinople with the +Autumn Caravans, to dispose of his cargo of +Silk and Attar of Roses—a very fine and +subtle Perfume, one drop of which is sufficient +to scent an entire House.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>'Twas in the autumn of the year 1759 +that I so came to Damascus, and for ten +years did I remain in that city,—all the +time without hearing one word from my +dear Wife. Had I been in the Capital, where +Foreign Ambassadors reside, I could not, as +a Christian, be detained in Slavery; that +being guarded against by Treaties between +the Crown of Great Britain and the Sublime +Porte. But in this remote part of the +Empire, these and many other worse enormities +were possible; and I remained as one +Dead and Buried. To a few English and +French Travellers passing through Damascus +did I tell my piteous Tale, and entreat their +help; but the account that I gave of myself +was so rambling and confused, and con<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_292" id="Page_292">[292]</a></span>tained, +I could but confess it, many Incredible +Particulars, that I could plainly see +no one believed my Tale, or accounted me +as aught but a half-mad Fellow that had +run away for some misdeed from a Ship in +port on the Coast of Syria, and was now +trying to cadge Sympathy for a Pretended +Grievance. At last I gave up complaining. +Slowly, but surely, my memory of my +former life began to Decay, and even the +knowledge of mine own Language faded +away, and became weaker and weaker every +day. I dressed, I ate, I drank, I slept in +the Eastern Fashion, and in all but religion +I was a Turk.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile I had gained in the favour of +my Master. He was about mine own age +when he purchased me, and we grew old +Together. At first I was employed as a +mere Menial, in carrying of Bales and +Packages, and tending of Camels; but by +degrees I was promoted to be his Warehouseman, +Clerk, Cashkeeper, and at last +his Partner. In that capacity he sent me +to manage a large silk-plantation of his in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_293" id="Page_293">[293]</a></span> +the Lebanon; and after two years of that +work I left him with a fortune of no less +than five hundred Purses of Gold (about +20,000<i>l.</i> of our Money), to set up on my +own account in the City of Broussa. He +made no attempt (nor had he at any time +done so) to combat my Religious Scruples, +but counselled me to behave in all things +outwardly as a Turk; and if anything was +said of my being in countenance a Frank +(though I was swarthy enough from my +Long Journeyings), to account for it by +saying that I was an Affghan born, out of +India. He died very soon after I settled at +Broussa, and the secret of my being a +Christian died with him. It is true that, +for mere Policy's sake, I did go through the +Mummeries of outward Mahometans, and +had my Rosary and my Prayer-carpet like +other Merchants of Broussa; but I scornfully +deny that I was initiated, or submitted +to, any Heathenish Rites; and I am ready +to maintain now, Cut, Thrust, or Backsword, +that I was then as stanch and leal a Protestant +as I am now.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_294" id="Page_294">[294]</a></span></p> + +<p>Under the name of Gholab Hassan, of +Affghanistan, and a True Believer, I prospered +exceedingly, almost entirely forgetting +my own country. 'Tis true I always preserved +an affectionate remembrance of my +dear Wife Lilias; but she seemed to me in +the guise of some Departed Angel, whom I +had been privileged to behold but for a +Short and Transient Period. Among these +Pagans, as is well known, Polygamy is +permitted; but that is neither here nor +there; and I was now an Old, Old Man.</p> + +<p>'Tis ten years since, namely, <span class="smcap">a.d.</span> 1770, +that a great Insurrection against the Authority +of the Porte, or rather of the Bashaw +of the Province, who had been laying on the +Taxes with somewhat too heavy a hand, +broke out in Broussa. The infuriate Populace +burnt the House of the Bashaw about +his ears, plundered the Bazaar, and were +proceeding to further extremities, when, a +puff of my old Martial Spirit reviving within +me, I collected a trusted band of Porters +and Camel-drivers, rallied the Turkish +Troops, who were flying in all directions,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_295" id="Page_295">[295]</a></span> +reformed them, scattered the Insurgent +Mobile, and did (I promise you) speedy +execution on some Scores of them. The +Insurrection was very speedily subdued, +and all Broussa was filled with the praises +of my Valour and Discretion. The Bashaw +was a poor Good-natured kind of Creature, +Brave enough, but so Fat that when he +mounted on Horseback they were obliged to +put one of the Pillows of his Divan on the +pummel of his saddle to keep his Stomach +steady. An end, however, was put to the +discomfort he suffered through Corpulence, +by the arrival, three weeks after the suppression +of the Insurrection, of a Tartar +Courier, who brought with him a Bowstring +and a Firman from the Grand Seignor. By +means of the Bowstring, the Fat Bashaw +was then and there strangled,—for they do +things in a very off-hand manner in Turkey,—and +when the Firman was opened by his +Vizier it was found to contain, not his own +nomination to the Bashawlik, which he +fondly expected, but the appointment of the +Merchant Gholab Hassan, that is to say,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_296" id="Page_296">[296]</a></span> +<span class="smcap">John Dangerous</span>, that is to say, your +Humble Servant, to the vacant Post, and +commanding my immediate attendance at +the Porte to receive investiture with the +Three Horse-tails of Office.</p> + +<p>I was at once saluted as Gholab Bashaw, +and the next day set forth amidst great +Acclamations, and in sumptuous state, for +Constantinople. Arrived there, I was handsomely +lodged in a Palace close to the Old +Seraglio, and admitted to no less than three +solemn Audiences with the Commander of +the Faithful, the Caliph Al Islam, the +Padishaw of Roum, the Great Turk himself.</p> + +<p>I could not help smiling at myself, now +arrayed in all the pomp and glory of an +Exalted Functionary, and in the true +Turkish fashion. 'Tis a custom (through +Ignorance of those parts) with the Limners +of Europe to portray all Osmanlis with +long Beards; and, for truth, as a Merchant +at Broussa, I had a great grizzled one of +most Goatish appearance; but among the +Bashaws and all those engaged in the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_297" id="Page_297">[297]</a></span> +Military Service of the Grand Seignor, or +holding Employments in the Seraglio, they +wear only a fierce and martial pair of +Whiskers. The most distinguishing sign +of a true Mussulman is, after all, his Sarik +or Turban, made in two parts, namely, a +Bonnet, and the Linen that is wrapped +round it. The former a kind of Cap, red +or green, without Brims, and quilted with +Cotton. About this they roll several folds +of Linen Cloth; and it is a particular art +to know how to give a Turban a good air; +it being a trade with 'em, as the Selling of +Hats is with us. The Emirs, who boast of +being descended from the race of Mahomet, +wear a turban all green; but that of the +common Turks is red, with a white border, +so distinguishing 'em from the Christians. +Next I wore great long Breeches of a +'broidered stuff, and a Shirt of fine soft +calico, with wide Sleeves, but no Wristbands +or Collar; and over this a Cassock +or Vest of fine English Cloth, reaching to +the ankles, and buttoned with buttons of +gold, about the bigness of a peppercorn.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_298" id="Page_298">[298]</a></span> +This was tied with a broad Sash or Girdle, +which went thrice round the waist, with +the ends hanging down before, and two +handsome Tassels. Over all this another +Garment, richly laced, and lined with Furs +of the Martin or the Badger. In my +Girdle a Dagger, about the size of a case-knife, +the handle curiously wrought, and +adorned with Precious Stones. And as +the Turkish tailors make no pockets to +their vestments, Purse, Handkerchief, Tobacco-box, +and things of that nature must +needs be put into the Bosom, or thrust +under the Girdle. Instead of Shoes, a pair +of Slippers of yellow leather; which, whenever +you enter a Mosque or the presence +of a Superior, you must put off on the +threshold. This custom makes the soles of +a Turk's feet always ready for the application +of the Talack or Bastinado, from which +argument neither high nor low are exempt.</p> + +<p><i>Item.</i>—The Women here very richly +dressed, but sad Gossips, and a Lazy, Lolloping +kind of creatures; which they must +needs be, poor souls, seeing that they have<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_299" id="Page_299">[299]</a></span> +no sort of Education, and are kept mostly +in seclusion, talking of scandal, sucking of +sugar-plums, showing their brave apparel +to each other, and thrumming upon the +Mandolin. A galloping, dreary, dull place +indeed is a Turkish Harem. As to the +qualities of the mind, the Turkish Women +want neither Wit, Good Sense, nor Tenderness; +but the constraint that is put upon +'em, and the jealous eye with which they +are guarded, makes 'em go a great way in +a little time, and make an ill use of the +Liberty which is sometimes granted them. +The old women-slaves of the Armenian and +Jew Merchants, who are the confidantes of +the Turkish women, enter their apartments +at all hours, under the pretence of bringing +them Jewels, and often favour their amours +with brisk young fellows. The usual hour +for intrigue is the hour of morning and +evening Prayers, when the Husbands are +away at the Mosques. In case of Discovery +the Turks are masters of the Lives of their +Wives; and if they have been convicted +in form, they are sewn up in Sacks, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_300" id="Page_300">[300]</a></span> +thrown into the Sea. And even if a Guilty +Woman's life is spared, she is condemned +to marry her Gallant, who is sentenced to +die, or must turn Mahometan, supposing +him to be a Christian. The least punishment +for a man who has broken the Seventh +Commandment is to ride through the streets +upon an Ass, with his face towards the Tail, +to receive a certain number of Blows upon +the Soles of his Feet, and to pay a Fine in +proportion to his Estate.</p> + +<p>But though a duly invested Bashaw of +Three Tails, I was not fated to remain long +in that Capacity. For once, however, my +Destiny, in subjecting me to Change, played +me a kind instead of a spiteful Turn. Going +to visit the French Ambassador, who was +then in high favour at the Porte, I found +there, living under the protection of his +Family, a Lady, who was no other than my +dear Wife Lilias, and with her a Daughter, +called after her own name, who was now +twelve years of age. Her History, as she +related it to me, was brief, but amazing. +Both her Father and the Cardinal died<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_301" id="Page_301">[301]</a></span> +about two years after her return from Captivity; +but she found a new guardian in +my old friend Captain Night, or Don Ercolo +Sparafucile di San Lorenzo, the Knight of +Malta, who had retired from that Island to +end his days in France. She was enabled +to cheer the declining years of that Gallant +Gentleman, who had preserved a lively remembrance +of his old <i>Protégé</i>, Jack Dangerous; +and when he died, he left her the +whole of his large fortune. All these years +she had remained in a dreadful state of +uncertainty, till, through the kind offices +of the French Minister of Police, she was +made acquainted with the last dying avowal +of a Pirate Renegado, named Sparkenhoe, +who had expired at the Galleys of Marseille, +and stated that, in the year 1759, he had +conveyed a refugee Christian Slave from +Algiers to Constantinople, where he had +been sold to a Merchant of Damascus. In +the almost desperate hope of discovering +some Tidings of me, my Wife and Child +had journeyed to the Porte, where they +were most kindly received at the French<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_302" id="Page_302">[302]</a></span> +Embassy. They had given up almost every +prospect of meeting me again, when I made +my sudden appearance in the strange Guise +of a Turkish Bashaw.</p> + +<p>Under ordinary Circumstances, it might +have gone hard with me; for the Turks +reckon it as an unpardonable crime for a +Christian to assume the Mussulman Garb, +and conform outwardly to that religion, +without having gone through the Proper +Rites. However, as I have said, the French +Ambassador was just then in high favour +with the Porte. He made interest with the +Captain Bashaw, the Kislar Aga, and the +Grand Vizier himself. The services I +had rendered to the Great Turk by suppressing +the Insurrection at Broussa were +taken into consideration; and it was at +length agreed, that if I would convey myself +away privately, and take my Wife with +me, no more should be said about the +matter. It was given out at Broussa that +I had been appointed to another and more +distant Government; and he who had been +Vizier to the unlucky Fat Man got his much-<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_303" id="Page_303">[303]</a></span>coveted +Preferment, and, I have no doubt, +was very happy in it, till the inevitable +Tartar came, and he was Bowstrung, like +his predecessor. So Gholab Bashaw resigned +the Three Horse-tails that during so +brief a period had waved at his Flagstaff, +and became once more plain <span class="smcap">John Dangerous</span>. +The Sublime Porte, however, confiscated +all my Property at Broussa, including +my Wives—I mean, my Women +Servants.</p> + +<p>With my Wife and Child I now returned +to Europe, full of Years, and, I hope, notwithstanding +some Ups and Downs, full of +Honours too. We were in no hurry, however, +to return to England; for I had wandered +about Foreign Parts so long in +Discredit, and Danger, and Distress, that I +thought myself well entitled to see the +world a little in Freedom and Independence, +and with a Handsome competence at my +Back. Therefore, as the Chevalier Captain +John Dangerous,—I have dropped my +Knightly rank of late years,—and furnished +with all necessary passports and safe-con<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_304" id="Page_304">[304]</a></span>ducts, +we made our way across the Black +Sea to Odessa, a mean kind of place, but +rising in the way of trade; and after a most +affable reception by the Russian Governor +of that place, journeyed at our ease through +the Tauric Chersonese, now wrested from +the Tartar Khans of Simpheropol, and belonging +to the Muscovites. Next, in a +handsome wheeled carriage-and-four, we +made for the great City of Moscow,—the +old Capital of the Great Dukes of Russia,—where +we abode two whole years, and went +among the very best people in the place; +although I had an ugly Equivoque with a +young gentleman of Quality that was an +officer of Dragoons, and who, I declare, +stole a diamond-mounted Snuff-box of mine +off my wife's Harpsichord, putting the same +(the Snuff-box, I mean) into the pocket of +his pantaloons. Him I was compelled to +expel from my house, the Toe of my Boot +aiding; and meeting him subsequently at a +Coffee-house, and he not seeming sufficiently +impressed with the turpitude of his Offence, +but the rather inclined to regard it as a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_305" id="Page_305">[305]</a></span> +venial Prank or Whimsey, I did Batoon him +within an inch of his life, and until there +were more wheals on his Body than bars of +silver-braid on his Jacket. This led to a +serious misunderstanding between Justice +and myself. I was not Imprisoned, but was +summoned no less than fifty-seven times +before a kind of Judge they call an Assessor, +who addressed a number of interrogatories +to me, which, at a moderate computation, +reached, in the course of five weeks, three +thousand seven hundred and nine questions. +This might have gone on till Doomsday, +but for the kind offices of a Muscovite +friend, who hinted to me that if I discreetly +slipped a Bank-bill for five hundred roubles +into the hand of the Examining Judge, I +should hear no more of the affair. This I +did, and was soon after honourably acquitted; +after which I gave the young Spark +whom I had batooned his revenge, by allowing +him to duff me out of a few score pieces +at the game of Lansquenet. By and by, +being tired of Moscow, we removed to the +stately northern Capital, Petersburg, where<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_306" id="Page_306">[306]</a></span> +I had a handsome mansion on the Fontanka +Canal, and was on more than one occasion +admitted to an audience with the Empress +of Russia, the mighty Czarina Catherine; a +fine, bold, strapping woman, with a great +taste for Politics, Diamonds, the Fine Arts, +and affairs of Gallantry. The First time +I made my obeisance to her Majesty (which +was at her summer residence of Peterhoff, +on the River Neva), she deigned, smiling +affably, to say to me:—</p> + +<p>"<i>Ah, ah! vous êtes le Sabreur anglais qui +avez rossé mes gens, là-bas, à Moscou. Je +voudrais que vous en fissiez autant pour mes +faquins de Chevalier-Gardes à Petersbourg.</i>"</p> + +<p>I was given to understand in very high +quarters that I had only to ask, to receive a +lucrative and honourable Appointment in +the service of the Czarina,—either as a +General by Land, or as an Admiral at Sea; +but I was sick of fighting, and of working +too; so at last, in disgust, I gave up my +House, and taking shipping with my family +at Cronstadt, retired to Hamburg, whence, +after a brief sojourn, I travelled to France.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_307" id="Page_307">[307]</a></span></p> + +<p>My sainted Wife, with whom, after our +reunion, I lived most happily, died in Paris, +in the year 1773; and then, feeling my Days +drawing to a close, and desiring to lay my +Bones in my own Country, I returned to +England, after an absence of more than +Thirty Years. Finding that the old Mansion +that had belonged to my Grandmother was +for sale by Public Auction, I purchased the +Freehold, repaired and beautified it, and +came to reside in it, occupying my long +and happy leisure by the composition of +these Memoirs. And if any one of my +Readers experiences one-hundredth part +the pleasure in Reading these Pages (and +that I dare scarcely hope) that I have +experienced in Writing them, John Dangerous +will indeed be amply repaid.</p> + + +<h3> +THE END OF THE STRANGE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN<br /> +DANGEROUS.<br /> +</h3> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_308" id="Page_308">[308]</a></span></p> +<h2>NOTE EXCULPATORY.</h2> + + +<p><span class="smcap">It</span> may be as well to state, for the benefit +of sticklers for matters of fact, that, in the +episode relating to Arabella Greenville, the +manner of death ascribed to Lord Francis +Villiers is, as Dr. Colenso would say, "un-historical." +The young nobleman in question +was slain in battle; and the description +of his execution at Hampton Court is one +of the few instances of the Romancer's +licence I have allowed myself in these +volumes.</p> + +<div class='sig'> +G. A. S.<br /></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_v" id="Page_v">[v]</a></span></p> + +<h2>Messrs. Tinsley Brothers'</h2> + +<h3>PUBLICATIONS.</h3> +<hr style="width: 25%;" /> +<h3>WORKS IN THE PRESS.</h3> + +<div class='center'>In the Press, in 2 vols., 8vo,</div> + +<h2>ABEKOÚTA:</h2> + +<div class='center'>AND<br /><br /> + +AN EXPLORATION OF THE CAMEROON +MOUNTAINS.<br /> + +<br />By CAPTAIN RICHARD F. BURTON,<br /> +Author of "A Pilgrimage to Elmedinah and Meccah," &c.</div> + +<hr style='width: 25%;' /> + +<div class='center'>In the Press, in 2 vols.,</div> + +<h2>MARTIN POLE.</h2> + +<div class='center'>By JOHN SAUNDERS,<br /> +Author of "Abel Drake's Wife," &c.</div> + + + + +<hr style="width: 25%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_vi" id="Page_vi">[vi]</a></span></p> +<div class='center'>Now ready,<br /> + +<span class="smcap">A New and Cheaper Edition in 1 vol., price 6s.</span></div> + +<h2>LADY AUDLEY'S SECRET.</h2> + +<div class='center'>By the Author of "Aurora Floyd."</div> + +<hr style='width: 25%;' /> + +<div class='center'>In the Press, in 3 vols., post 8vo.</div> + +<h2>MY WANDERINGS IN WEST +AFRICA:</h2> + +<h3>FROM LIVERPOOL TO FERNANDO PO.</h3> + +<div class='center'>By F. R. G. S.</div> + +<div class='right'><span style="margin-right: 5em;">[Ready in April.</span><br /></div> + +<hr style='width: 25%;' /> + +<div class='center'>In the Press, in 3 vols., post 8vo.</div> + +<h2>ALTOGETHER WRONG.</h2> + +<div class='center'>By the Author of "The World's Furniture."</div> + +<hr style='width: 25%;' /> + +<div class='center'>In the Press, a New Edition, price 6s., uniform with "Guy +Livingstone,"</div> + +<h2>BARREN HONOUR.</h2> + +<div class='center'>By the Author of "Guy Livingstone," "Sword and Gown," +&c.</div> + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_vii" id="Page_vii">[vii]</a></span></p> + +<h3>WORKS JUST PUBLISHED, AND IN CIRCULATION<br /> +AT ALL THE LIBRARIES.</h3> + +<div class='center'>NOTICE:</div> + +<h2>AURORA FLOYD,</h2> + +<div class='center'>BY THE AUTHOR OF</div> + +<h3>"LADY AUDLEY'S SECRET."</h3> + +<div class='center'>The Fifth Edition is now Ready, at all the Libraries, +in 3 vols.</div> + +<hr style='width: 25%;' /> + +<div class='center'>This day, at every Library, in 3 vols.</div> + +<h2>THE HOUSE</h2> + +<div class='center'>BY THE</div> + +<h3>CHURCHYARD.</h3> + +<div class='center'>By J. SHERIDAN LE FANU.</div> + +<hr style='width: 25%;' /> + +<div class='center'>Now ready, at every Library, in 3 vols.</div> + +<h2>A TANGLED SKEIN.</h2> + +<div class='center'>By ALBANY FONBLANQUE.</div> +<hr style='width: 45%;' /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_viii" id="Page_viii">[viii]</a></span></p> + + +<div class='center'>Now ready, the Five-Shilling Edition of</div> + +<h2>GUY LIVINGSTONE.</h2> + +<div class='center'>By the Author of "Barren Honour," "Sword +and Gown."</div> + +<hr style='width: 25%;' /> + +<div class='center'>Now ready, in 2 vols.</div> + +<h2>THE LITERATURE</h2> + +<div class='center'>OF</div> + +<h3>SOCIETY.</h3> + +<div class='center'>By GRACE WHARTON,<br /> + +One of the Authors of "The Queens of Society," &c.</div> + +<hr style='width: 25%;' /> + +<div class='center'>Now ready, at all the Libraries, in 1 vol. 8vo.</div> + +<h2>THE PUBLIC LIFE</h2> + +<div class='center'>OF</div> + +<h3>LORD MACAULAY.</h3> + +<div class='center'>By FREDERICK ARNOLD, B.A.,<br /> +Of Christ Church, Oxford.</div> + +<hr style='width: 25%;' /> + +<h4>TINSLEY BROTHERS, 18, CATHERINE STREET, STRAND.</h4> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> +<div class="footnotes"><h3>FOOTNOTES:</h3> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_A_1" id="Footnote_A_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_1"><span class="label">[A]</span></a> There is a River in Macedon and a River in +Monmouth, and more Malagas than one.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_B_2" id="Footnote_B_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_B_2"><span class="label">[B]</span></a> "'Tis the Blood, the Blood mounting to my Head! +'Tis the Archbishop's fault, and that of his Charge. +I shall perish; but the Mighty Ones of the Earth +shall perish with me."</p> +<p>I have, contrary to my practice, given these Words +as they were spoken, in the French Tongue: for they +sunk into my Mind, so as never to be forgotten.—J. D.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_C_3" id="Footnote_C_3"></a><a href="#FNanchor_C_3"><span class="label">[C]</span></a> 2 Kings, ix. 30.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_D_4" id="Footnote_D_4"></a><a href="#FNanchor_D_4"><span class="label">[D]</span></a> I preserve a fragment of what His Eminence +was pleased once upon a time to write to me, in his +curious Italian way of spelling the French tongue:</p> + +<p>"<i>Si cieu che vous m'avez dict sur vostre Naissance è +vray, vos esteo digne di monter dedans le carozze du +Roy.</i>"</p></div></div> + +<hr style='width: 65%;' /> + +<div class='tnote'><h3>Transcriber's Notes:</h3> +<p>Obvious punctuation errors repaired.</p> + +<p>Spelling being fluid in Captain Dangerous' life, spellings such as "Quean" (which shows up +twice) were retained.</p> + +<p>Varied hyphenation in this book includes: a-piece and apiece, Gunshot and Gun-shot; +maingears and main-gears; Night-cap and Nightcap; Red-hot and Redhot.</p> + +<p>The remaining corrections made are indicated by dotted lines under the corrections. Scroll the mouse over the word and the original text will <ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'apprear'">appear</ins>.</p></div> + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Strange Adventures of Captain +Dangerous, Vol. 3 of 3, by George Augustus Sala + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CAPTAIN DANGEROUS, VOL. 3 OF 3 *** + +***** This file should be named 26669-h.htm or 26669-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/6/6/6/26669/ + +Produced by Robert Cicconetti, Emmy and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This +book was produced from scanned images of public domain +material from the Google Print project.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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