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+Project Gutenberg's Love--Marriage--Birth Control, by Bertrand  Dawson
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Love--Marriage--Birth Control
+       Being a Speech delivered at the Church Congress at
+       Birmingham, October, 1921
+
+Author: Bertrand  Dawson
+
+Release Date: October 7, 2008 [EBook #26837]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOVE--MARRIAGE--BIRTH CONTROL ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Bryan Ness, Markus Brenner and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                            LOVE—MARRIAGE—
+                             BIRTH CONTROL
+
+
+                Being a Speech delivered at the Church
+                Congress at Birmingham, October, 1921:
+
+
+                            WITH A FOREWORD
+
+                                  BY
+                          LORD DAWSON OF PENN
+
+
+                         [Illustration: logo]
+
+
+                                London
+                           NISBET & CO. LTD.
+                        22 BERNERS STREET, W.1
+
+
+
+    _First Published January, 1922_
+    _Reprinted January, 1922_
+    _Reprinted February, 1922_
+    _Reprinted April, 1922_
+
+    _All rights reserved_
+
+
+
+
+                               FOREWORD
+
+
+At the Church Congress held this autumn at Birmingham I was honoured by
+an invitation to speak on “Sexual Relationships.”
+
+The subject-matter of that speech has aroused widespread interest and
+some controversy. It is being published in response to numerous requests
+and because most of the reports, being of necessity condensed,
+inadequately and even in some instances incorrectly set forth the views
+I endeavoured to champion; for any speech on a subject so difficult to
+handle needs to be read in its entirety if misapprehensions are to be
+avoided.
+
+And first, may I thank numerous correspondents; and those in
+disagreement equally with those in agreement with me. One and all they
+bear testimony, if indeed such were needed, to how widespread and
+responsible is the interest on this question, and therefore to the
+wisdom of its full consideration. Amongst the letters are intimate human
+documents which pathetically disclose, as does professional experience,
+how frequently happiness is marred by ignorance of either the principles
+or the methods which should condition the true conception of sexual
+relationships.
+
+I elected to deal with these relationships in their healthy rather than
+their morbid aspects, because the study of health is a sure way to
+lessen disease. Mere denunciations of evil serve but small purpose. The
+aim of statesmanship is rather to seek out causes and ponder over
+remedies, and prominent among remedies is surely the study of the
+significance and purport of sex love in a well-ordered and Christian
+community and provision for its healthy outlet. To this the first part
+of my speech was devoted. The view there upheld has brought forth a
+large measure of agreement and no reasoned disagreement.
+
+The second part of my speech dealing with birth control (or what in
+strict accuracy should be called conception control) has aroused more
+controversy, but I venture to think that some, at least, of the
+criticism directed against my argument will disappear with a perusal of
+this full text of my speech. Therein will be found condemnation of
+infertile marriages and a strong plea that children are essential to the
+health and happiness of man and woman, are necessary to each other and
+of vital importance to the nation.
+
+The difference between my critics and myself is not as to the vital
+necessity of the family following marriage, but rather this—they would
+like to see the large families prevalent fifty years ago restored (and
+where means and circumstances are favourable, such large families may be
+the source of much happiness); whereas under present-day conditions I
+should regard them as seldom attainable and desirable, and would favour
+smaller families of children born at predetermined intervals.
+
+A married couple who have produced four children in twenty years cannot
+be said to have ignored the precept “be fruitful and multiply and
+replenish the earth” because they have so selected the times for the
+conceptions of their children as to enable them to give those children a
+better upbringing rather than have selfishly left the sequence of their
+offspring to blind chance.
+
+The argument that the nation should foster large families in order more
+quickly to people the untenanted portions of the Empire, and so add to
+the strength and wealth of the British Dominions, requires serious
+attention, not in isolation, but in conjunction with other
+considerations, and calls forth varying opinions from economists.
+
+On the other hand, emigration into _foreign_ lands would seem to be a
+source of weakness to a nation. The feeding, clothing and educating of a
+young Briton cost the nation a definite sum of money, say, £400; if at
+the age of twenty, when he is ready to produce, that young Briton
+emigrates to a foreign state, he is a definite loss to the country of
+his birth and the country of his adoption is the gainer.
+
+From another standpoint the criticism is made that I have not urged the
+paramount necessity of diminishing the population of these islands. With
+the economic soundness of this view others are better fitted to deal,
+but no economic considerations would outweigh the importance of child
+life inspiring the homes of the land, and if the number and sequence of
+children can be regulated by the parents’ circumstances, these homes
+will increase in number, will start when parents are younger and confer
+greater benefits alike on the family and the State. If need be, the
+State could grant a progressive rebate of taxation, and educational
+facilities for each of three children born after the second and where
+the father is twenty-five years of age or upwards.
+
+It is held by some that artificial birth control is contrary to
+Christian morals. This is the view firmly held by the Roman Catholic
+Church, and since the governance of the Roman communion is based on
+“authority,” its decisions are binding on its members and command our
+respect. But pronouncements of Protestant communions do not owe their
+force to “authority,” but to the conviction they carry in the minds and
+consciences of their people, and no clear scriptural sanction for the
+condemnation of birth control has been given, nor does the report of the
+Lambeth Conference vouchsafe any reasons why it is physically and
+morally harmful.
+
+A distinguished prelate of our Church has characterised the views herein
+set forth as “very unguarded.”[1] If by that expression he means
+“careless,” he cannot have done me the honour of reading my speech,
+which, whatever its demerits, bears ample evidence of carefully
+considered thought and expression. If by “unguarded” he means
+“outspoken,” I will plead justification. For is it not time that a
+question which deeply concerns not only the thought, but the practice of
+the thinking portions of communities should be fully considered and its
+strength and its weakness disclosed by full discussion? The world looks
+to its leaders for reasoned guidance, not for assertion which may be but
+the husk of a thought that has gone. What is wanted is reasoned
+consideration, not unreasoned condemnation. For churchmen and statesmen
+alike, opportunism helps in situations which are small, but never in
+those which are large; there clarity of principle alone stands forth as
+a beacon to light the path.
+
+    [Footnote 1: Diocesan Conference at York.]
+
+The fear that discussion of this vital problem will endanger morality
+surely loses sight of the fact of knowledge being so fundamental to our
+well-being, that incidental dangers encountered along its path must not
+deter us from its continued pursuit.
+
+Moreover, it will be noticed that I have discriminated between the
+principle of birth control and the methods of its application, the
+latter being preferably determined by the advice of the family doctor
+rather than by the perusal of books in general circulation.
+
+The attitude of mind of the Church towards the problems of sexual
+relationships is part of a larger question, viz., the ever-widening gap
+between the formal teaching of the Church and the actual belief of the
+present generation, including many who by baptism and early training
+belong to her fold.
+
+This gap between authority and actuality of belief imposes a strain on
+intellectual integrity and weakens the foundations of a real allegiance.
+For those of us who are of mature years the gap is bridged by the tender
+associations of our childhood and the memory of parents, for whom no
+such gap existed, and whose faith and character have left indelible
+impressions on our lives. But for the youth of to-day no such bridge
+exists. The War has caused a hiatus and thought has broken with
+tradition. Thus, youth is no longer willing to accept forms and formulæ
+only on account of their age. So it has set out on a voyage of inquiry,
+and finding some things which are doubtful and others which are
+insufficient, is searching for forms of expression more in harmony with
+the realities of life and knowledge. Although becoming estranged in
+thought from the Church, it is possessed of deep religious feeling and,
+firm on the rock foundation of faith, is trying to build a
+superstructure more in accord with the progress of revelation, not only
+in religion, but in science, and the needs of the world in which it
+moves and has its being.
+
+
+    Far be it, that I should write thee sin or blame,
+    Or think thee unbefitting holiest place,
+    Perpetual fountain of domestic sweets,
+    Whose bed is undefiled and chaste pronounced,
+    Present, or past, as saints and patriarchs used.
+    Here Love his golden shafts employs, here lights
+    His constant lamp, and waves his purple wings,
+    Reigns here and revels; not in the bought smile
+    Of harlots, loveless, joyless, unendeared,
+    Casual fruition; nor in court-amours,
+    Mixed dance, or wanton mask, or midnight ball,
+    Or serenate, which the starved lover sings
+    To his proud fair, best quitted with disdain.
+    These, lulled by nightingales, embracing slept,
+    And on their naked limbs the flowery roof
+    Showered roses, which the morn repaired.
+
+                                        _Paradise Lost,_
+                                                    Book IV.
+
+
+
+
+                      LOVE—MARRIAGE—BIRTH CONTROL
+
+
+May I make certain preliminary observations? Painters and poets depict
+Love to us in golden hues and arouse in us happy and sympathetic, and, I
+trust, reminiscent response, helping us to realise that life without the
+love of man and woman would be like the world without sunshine.
+
+Though, therefore, the social student in his approach to the subject is
+not helped by the beauties of colour and song, it behoves him to avoid
+undue solemnity, and still more an air of portentous foreboding.
+
+In each age customs have been deplored as heralds of evil, but the evils
+have seldom materialised.
+
+One of the difficulties of this subject is that those who are called
+upon to give counsel are apt to forget the strength of the forces to be
+dealt with, for it is during youth especially that sex attractions are
+so powerful, and, may I add, so delightful. Middle-aged people may be
+divided into three classes.
+
+Those who are still young.
+
+Those who have forgotten they were young.
+
+Those who were never young.
+
+And it is with the first class before my eyes that I am privileged to
+address this audience.
+
+I will confine my attention to the sexual relationships between
+unrelated adult people in youth and prime.
+
+It is common ground that sex love between such people should be the
+physical expression of a lasting affection, and be so intimately blended
+with the feelings of helpfulness, sympathy, and intimate friendship as
+to form a union of body, mind and spirit. It further should be
+associated with the love of and desire for children.
+
+This complex is best secured by the institution of marriage.
+
+All its constituent features, except two, are vividly realised in
+intimate friendship, and above all, in that unique bond between mother
+and son which with some of us is the most wonderful thing in our lives.
+
+Its two exclusively distinctive features are: _sex love_ and _child
+love_.
+
+These are the real problems before us to-day, particularly the former,
+and if in these remarks I seem to concentrate on the problems of sex
+love, be it understood I do so from a desire to save the time of the
+meeting and not because I think sex love should reign alone in
+unbalanced supremacy.
+
+And by sex love I mean that love which involves intercourse or the
+desire for such.
+
+It is necessary to my argument to emphasise that sex love is one of the
+clamant dominating forces of the world. Not only does history show the
+destinies of nations and dynasties determined by its sway—but here in
+our every-day life we see its influence, direct or indirect, forceful
+and ubiquitous beyond aught else.
+
+
+                        AN IMPERIOUS INSTINCT.
+
+Any statesmanlike review, therefore, will recognise that here we have an
+instinct—so fundamental, so imperious—that its influence is a fact which
+has to be accepted: suppress it you cannot. You may guide it into
+healthy channels—but an outlet it will have, and if that outlet is
+inadequate or unduly obstructed, irregular channels will be forced.
+
+We uphold the control of sex love outside marriage by the individual—and
+that we are right in so doing is incontestable. But let us realise that
+in practice self-control has a breaking point, and that if in any
+community marriage is difficult or late of attainment, an increase of
+irregular unions will inevitably result.
+
+That the Church recognises this is shown by the statement that marriage
+was instituted to prevent sin. In considering the problem of illicit
+intercourse and its attendant evils the social conditions that make for
+a wholesome life are of more efficiency than Acts of Parliament to
+suppress vice.
+
+My desire, however, on this occasion is rather to consider sex love in
+relation to marriage. The first point I wish to make is that people need
+more knowledge of the scientific bearings of sex relations and more
+clearly defined guidance of their rightful purport and practice. They
+are imperfectly provided with both. We talk about instructing the young
+when we are neither clear nor agreed amongst ourselves, and the young
+are endangered as much by crudity as by absence of instruction.
+
+All are agreed that union of body should be in association with union of
+mind and soul; all are agreed that the rearing of children is a
+pre-eminent purpose. But what purport is there beyond these? Here there
+is a lack of precision.
+
+
+                       THE CHURCH AND MARRIAGE.
+
+What does the Church service say? It says “Marriage was ordained for a
+remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication; that such persons as have
+not the gift of continency might marry and keep themselves undefiled
+members of Christ’s body.”
+
+Now this is a very negative blessing. It implies that where
+unfortunately people cannot be continent that marriage gives the best
+way out—enables them to get relief within the pale of virtue. This
+attitude affords to sex love no positive purport or merit of its own,
+and is in striking conflict with the facts of life through the
+ages—facts which carry social approval.
+
+The recent pronouncement of the Church as set forth in Resolution 68 of
+the Lambeth Conference seems to imply condemnation of sex love as such,
+and to imply sanction of sex love _only_ as a means to an end—namely,
+procreation, though it must be admitted it lacks that clearness of
+direction which in so vital a matter one would have expected. It almost
+reminds me of one of those diplomatic formulæ which is not intended to
+be too clear. Allow me to quote from it:—
+
+“In opposition to the teaching which under the name of science and
+religion encourages married people in the deliberate cultivation of
+sexual union as an end in itself, we steadfastly uphold what must always
+be regarded as the governing consideration of Christian marriage. One is
+the primary purpose for which marriage exists—namely, the continuation
+of the race through the gift and heritage of children; the other is the
+paramount importance in married life of deliberate and thoughtful
+self-control.”
+
+
+                          THE FACTS OF LIFE.
+
+Now the plain meaning of this statement is that sexual union should take
+place for the sole purpose of procreation, that sexual union as _an_ end
+in itself—not, mind you, _the_ only end—(there we should all agree), but
+sexual union as _an_ end in itself is to be condemned.
+
+That means that sexual intercourse should rightly take place _only_ for
+the purpose of procreation.
+
+Now the large majority of conceptions take place immediately after and
+before the monthly period.
+
+Quite a large family could easily result from quite a few sexual unions.
+For the rest the couple should be celibate. Any intercourse not having
+procreation as its intention is “sexual union as an end in itself,” and
+therefore by inference condemned by the Lambeth Conference.
+
+Think of the facts of life. Let us recall our own love—our marriage,
+our honeymoon. Has not sexual union over and over again been the
+physical expression of our love without thought or intention of
+procreation? Have we all been wrong? Or is it that the Church lacks that
+vital contact with the realities of life which accounts for the gulf
+between her and the people?
+
+The love envisaged by the Lambeth Conference is an invertebrate joyless
+thing—not worth the having. Fortunately it is in contrast to the real
+thing as practised by clergy and laity.
+
+Fancy an ardent lover (and what respect have you for a lover who is not
+ardent)—the type you would like your daughter to marry—virile,
+ambitious, chivalrous—a man who means to work hard and love hard. Fancy
+putting before these lovers—eager and expectant of the joys before
+them—the Lambeth picture of marriage. Do you expect to gain their
+confidence?
+
+They ask for bread; you give them a stone.
+
+
+                       ALLEGIANCE OF THE YOUNG.
+
+Authority, and I include under authority the Churches, will never gain
+the allegiance of the young unless their attitude is more frank, more
+courageous, and more in accordance with realities.
+
+And to tell you the truth, I am not sure that too much prudent
+self-restraint suits love and its purport. Romance and deliberate
+self-control do not, to my mind, rhyme very well together. A touch of
+madness to begin with does no harm. Heaven knows life sobers it soon
+enough. If you don’t start life with a head of steam you won’t get far.
+
+Sex love has, apart from parenthood, a purport of its own. It is
+something to prize and to cherish for its own sake. It is an essential
+part of health and happiness in marriage. And now, if you will allow me,
+I will carry this argument a step further.
+
+If sexual union is a gift of God it is worth learning how to use it.
+Within its own sphere it should be cultivated so as to bring physical
+satisfaction to both, not merely to one. The attainment of mutual and
+reciprocal joy in their relations constitutes a firm bond between two
+people and makes for durability of their marriage tie.
+
+Reciprocity in sex love is the physical counterpart of sympathy. More
+marriages fail from inadequate and clumsy sex love than from too much
+sex love.
+
+
+                     PASSION A WORTHY POSSESSION.
+
+The lack of proper understanding is in no small measure responsible for
+the unfulfilment of (connubial) happiness, and every degree of
+discontent and unhappiness may from this cause occur, leading to rupture
+of the marriage bond itself. How often do medical men have to deal with
+these difficulties, and how fortunate if such difficulties are disclosed
+early enough in married life to be rectified. Otherwise how tragic may
+be their consequences, and many a case in the Divorce Court has thus
+had its origin.
+
+To the foregoing contentions it might be objected you are encouraging
+passion. My reply would be, passion is a worthy possession; most men,
+who are any good, are capable of passion.
+
+You all enjoy ardent and passionate love in art and literature. Why not
+give it a place in real life?
+
+Why some people look askance at passion is because they are confusing it
+with sensuality. Sex love without passion is a poor, lifeless thing.
+Sensuality, on the other hand, is on a level with gluttony—a physical
+excess—detached from sentiment, chivalry, or tenderness.
+
+It is just as important to give sex love its place as to avoid its over
+emphasis. Its real and effective restraints are those imposed by a
+loving and sympathetic companionship, by the privileges of parenthood,
+the exacting claims of career and that civic sense which prompts men to
+do social service.
+
+Now that the revision of the Prayer Book is receiving consideration, I
+should like to suggest, with great respect, that an addition be made to
+the objects of marriage in the Marriage Service, in these terms: “The
+complete realisation of the love of this man and this woman, the one for
+the other.”
+
+
+                            BIRTH CONTROL.
+
+And now, if you will permit me, I will pass on to consider the
+all-important question of Birth Control.
+
+First, I will put forward with confidence the view that birth control
+is here to stay. It is an established fact, and for good or evil has to
+be accepted. Although the extent of its application can be and is being
+modified, no denunciations will abolish it.
+
+Despite the influence and condemnations of the Church, it has been
+practised in France for well over half a century, and in Belgium and
+other Catholic countries is extending. And if the Roman Catholic Church,
+with its compact organisation, its power of authority, and its
+discipline, cannot check this procedure, is it likely that Protestant
+Churches will be able to do so?—for Protestant religions depend for
+their strength on the conviction and esteem they establish in the heads
+and hearts of their people.
+
+The reasons which lead parents to limit their offspring are sometimes
+selfish, but more often honourable and cogent. The desire to marry and
+to rear children well equipped for life’s struggle, limited incomes, the
+cost of living, burdensome taxation, are forcible motives; and, further,
+amongst the educated classes there is the desire of women to take a part
+in life and their husband’s careers, which is incompatible with
+oft-recurring pregnancies. Absence of birth control means late
+marriages, and these carry with them irregular unions and all the
+baneful consequences.
+
+It is idle to decry illicit intercourse and interpose obstacles to
+marriage at one and the same time.
+
+But, say many whose opinions are entitled to our respect: “Yes—birth
+control may be necessary, but the only birth control which is
+justifiable is voluntary abstention from connubial relations.” Such
+abstention would be either ineffective or, if effective, impracticable
+and harmful to health and happiness.
+
+To limit the size of a family to, say, four children during a
+child-bearing period of 20–25 years, would be to impose on a married
+couple an amount of abstention which for long periods would almost be
+equivalent to celibacy, and when one remembers that owing to economic
+reasons the abstention would have to be most strict during the earlier
+years of married life when desires are strongest, I maintain a demand is
+being made which for the mass of people it is impossible to meet; that
+the endeavours to meet it would impose a strain hostile to health and
+happiness and carry with them grave dangers to morals.
+
+Imagine a young married couple in love with each other—the parents, say,
+of one child, who feel they cannot afford another child for, say, three
+years—being expected to occupy the same room and to abstain for two
+years. The thing is preposterous. You might as well put water by the
+side of a man suffering from thirst and tell him not to drink it.
+
+And further than that, if the efforts to abstain are seriously made the
+strain involved is harmful to the health and temper—if the efforts do
+not succeed the minds of husband and wife are troubled by doubts and
+anxieties which are damaging to their intimate relationships. And,
+moreover, if this harmful restraint succeeds in preventing conception
+there eventuates the inevitable prevalence of sex excitement followed
+by abortive and half-realised satisfaction, and the enhanced risk of the
+man or woman yielding to outside sex temptations.
+
+No—birth control by abstention is either ineffective, or, if effective,
+is pernicious.
+
+
+                      THE HOME’S TRUE INTERESTS.
+
+I will next consider Artificial Control. The forces in modern life which
+make for birth control are so strong that only convincing reasons will
+make people desist from it. It is said to be unnatural and intrinsically
+immoral. This word unnatural perplexes me. Civilisation involves the
+chaining of natural forces and their conversion to man’s will and uses.
+Much of medicine and surgery consists of means to overcome nature.
+
+When anæsthetics were first used at childbirth there was an outcry on
+the part of many worthy and religious people that their use under such
+circumstances was unnatural and wicked, because God meant woman to
+suffer the struggles and pains of childbirth. Now we all admit it is
+right to control the process of childbirth, and to save the mother as
+much pain as possible. It is no more unnatural to control conception by
+artificial means than to control childbirth by artificial means. Surely
+the whole question turns on whether these artificial means are for the
+good or harm of the individual and the community! Do all contraceptive
+measures damage the individual? The answer to that depends on the
+purpose for which they are used. If they are used to render unions
+childless or inadequately fruitful they are harmful. There are grounds
+for thinking that unrealisation of maternity favours sterility.
+
+Generally speaking, birth control before the first child is inadvisable.
+On the other hand, the justifiable use of birth control is to limit the
+number of children, and to spread out their arrival in such a way as to
+serve their true interests and those of their home.
+
+That such applications of birth control produce no harm receives support
+from the study of the numbers and distribution of the children of the
+professional classes.
+
+The advantage and disadvantage of this or that contraceptive is a
+technical matter for the doctors to determine.
+
+Again, it has been stated that artificial control is harmful because it
+leads to excessive indulgence. Experience and evidence are against this
+being a fact.
+
+Contraceptives by the time and circumstance of their application involve
+prudence and control. The proper and efficient restraints on undue
+sexual indulgence are to be found in mutual consideration, sympathy, and
+tenderness and the pressing claims of life’s duties.
+
+The sensualist who is not deterred from excess by these considerations
+will be completely careless whether his indulgence results in children
+or not—he is moved by his selfish impulses alone.
+
+
+                         CAREFUL DISTINCTION.
+
+Once more, careful distinction needs to be made between the use and the
+bad effects of the abuse of birth control. That its abuse produces harm
+I fully agree—harm to parents, to families, and to the nation. But abuse
+is not a just condemnation of legitimate use. Over-eating,
+over-drinking, over-smoking, over-sleeping, over-work do not carry
+condemnation of eating, drinking, smoking, sleeping, work.
+
+But the evils of excessive birth control are very real. There is first
+the individual—every woman is better in body and mind for child
+bearing—the periodic completion of the maternal cycle brings out the
+best, preserves youth and maintains vital contact with life. Maternity
+gives to woman her most beautiful attributes. Fancy being mad enough to
+suppress it! If one watches the woman with one child and all maternity
+finished before thirty, and compare her at forty with the woman of the
+same age who has had, say, four children at proper intervals, who
+usually has the advantage in preservation of youth and beauty? Not the
+former.
+
+On the other hand, it must be admitted that baby after baby every year
+or eighteen months wears and often exhausts a woman’s strength. The
+inference is that the use of birth control is good, its abuse bad.
+
+Next, the children. Is it even necessary to refer to the failure of the
+single-child household? Poor little thing! Surrounded by over-anxious
+parents, spoilt, no children to play with, bored stiff by adults. And
+then, perhaps, illness, and it may be death—and when it is too late to
+produce another.
+
+Of the many tragedies I met in the war none exceeded that attaching to
+the loss of only children. It often means the end of all things; nothing
+to live for—just blank despair.
+
+
+                         THE WAY OF HAPPINESS.
+
+The parents and the home both need children of varying ages. That is the
+way of happiness and enduring youth.
+
+And lastly, the national aspect may be stated very briefly. If England
+is not to lose her place in the world her population must be maintained.
+Unless fathers and mothers produce an average of over three children
+that population will not be maintained.
+
+If you say to a young husband and wife with their one or two children,
+“Do you like to contemplate that when you both leave life your country
+will, through your action, be worse off than when you entered life?”
+that is an appeal to patriotism, and likely to be a successful appeal.
+
+There are signs of a public opinion forming which will condemn the
+selfishness of marriages without their proper heritage of children, but
+such public opinion will not be strengthened by an indiscriminate
+condemnation of birth control.
+
+May I end my speech with an appeal that the Church approaches this
+question, in common with certain others, in the light of modern
+knowledge and the needs of a new world, and unhampered by traditions
+which have outworn their usefulness?
+
+
+
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+Project Gutenberg's Love--Marriage--Birth Control, by Bertrand  Dawson
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Love--Marriage--Birth Control
+       Being a Speech delivered at the Church Congress at
+       Birmingham, October, 1921
+
+Author: Bertrand  Dawson
+
+Release Date: October 7, 2008 [EBook #26837]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOVE--MARRIAGE--BIRTH CONTROL ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Bryan Ness, Markus Brenner and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                            LOVE--MARRIAGE--
+                             BIRTH CONTROL
+
+
+                Being a Speech delivered at the Church
+                Congress at Birmingham, October, 1921:
+
+
+                            WITH A FOREWORD
+
+                                  BY
+                          LORD DAWSON OF PENN
+
+
+                         [Illustration: logo]
+
+
+                                London
+                           NISBET & CO. LTD.
+                        22 BERNERS STREET, W.1
+
+
+
+    _First Published January, 1922_
+    _Reprinted January, 1922_
+    _Reprinted February, 1922_
+    _Reprinted April, 1922_
+
+    _All rights reserved_
+
+
+
+
+                               FOREWORD
+
+
+At the Church Congress held this autumn at Birmingham I was honoured by
+an invitation to speak on "Sexual Relationships."
+
+The subject-matter of that speech has aroused widespread interest and
+some controversy. It is being published in response to numerous requests
+and because most of the reports, being of necessity condensed,
+inadequately and even in some instances incorrectly set forth the views
+I endeavoured to champion; for any speech on a subject so difficult to
+handle needs to be read in its entirety if misapprehensions are to be
+avoided.
+
+And first, may I thank numerous correspondents; and those in
+disagreement equally with those in agreement with me. One and all they
+bear testimony, if indeed such were needed, to how widespread and
+responsible is the interest on this question, and therefore to the
+wisdom of its full consideration. Amongst the letters are intimate human
+documents which pathetically disclose, as does professional experience,
+how frequently happiness is marred by ignorance of either the principles
+or the methods which should condition the true conception of sexual
+relationships.
+
+I elected to deal with these relationships in their healthy rather than
+their morbid aspects, because the study of health is a sure way to
+lessen disease. Mere denunciations of evil serve but small purpose. The
+aim of statesmanship is rather to seek out causes and ponder over
+remedies, and prominent among remedies is surely the study of the
+significance and purport of sex love in a well-ordered and Christian
+community and provision for its healthy outlet. To this the first part
+of my speech was devoted. The view there upheld has brought forth a
+large measure of agreement and no reasoned disagreement.
+
+The second part of my speech dealing with birth control (or what in
+strict accuracy should be called conception control) has aroused more
+controversy, but I venture to think that some, at least, of the
+criticism directed against my argument will disappear with a perusal of
+this full text of my speech. Therein will be found condemnation of
+infertile marriages and a strong plea that children are essential to the
+health and happiness of man and woman, are necessary to each other and
+of vital importance to the nation.
+
+The difference between my critics and myself is not as to the vital
+necessity of the family following marriage, but rather this--they would
+like to see the large families prevalent fifty years ago restored (and
+where means and circumstances are favourable, such large families may be
+the source of much happiness); whereas under present-day conditions I
+should regard them as seldom attainable and desirable, and would favour
+smaller families of children born at predetermined intervals.
+
+A married couple who have produced four children in twenty years cannot
+be said to have ignored the precept "be fruitful and multiply and
+replenish the earth" because they have so selected the times for the
+conceptions of their children as to enable them to give those children a
+better upbringing rather than have selfishly left the sequence of their
+offspring to blind chance.
+
+The argument that the nation should foster large families in order more
+quickly to people the untenanted portions of the Empire, and so add to
+the strength and wealth of the British Dominions, requires serious
+attention, not in isolation, but in conjunction with other
+considerations, and calls forth varying opinions from economists.
+
+On the other hand, emigration into _foreign_ lands would seem to be a
+source of weakness to a nation. The feeding, clothing and educating of a
+young Briton cost the nation a definite sum of money, say, �400; if at
+the age of twenty, when he is ready to produce, that young Briton
+emigrates to a foreign state, he is a definite loss to the country of
+his birth and the country of his adoption is the gainer.
+
+From another standpoint the criticism is made that I have not urged the
+paramount necessity of diminishing the population of these islands. With
+the economic soundness of this view others are better fitted to deal,
+but no economic considerations would outweigh the importance of child
+life inspiring the homes of the land, and if the number and sequence of
+children can be regulated by the parents' circumstances, these homes
+will increase in number, will start when parents are younger and confer
+greater benefits alike on the family and the State. If need be, the
+State could grant a progressive rebate of taxation, and educational
+facilities for each of three children born after the second and where
+the father is twenty-five years of age or upwards.
+
+It is held by some that artificial birth control is contrary to
+Christian morals. This is the view firmly held by the Roman Catholic
+Church, and since the governance of the Roman communion is based on
+"authority," its decisions are binding on its members and command our
+respect. But pronouncements of Protestant communions do not owe their
+force to "authority," but to the conviction they carry in the minds and
+consciences of their people, and no clear scriptural sanction for the
+condemnation of birth control has been given, nor does the report of the
+Lambeth Conference vouchsafe any reasons why it is physically and
+morally harmful.
+
+A distinguished prelate of our Church has characterised the views herein
+set forth as "very unguarded."[1] If by that expression he means
+"careless," he cannot have done me the honour of reading my speech,
+which, whatever its demerits, bears ample evidence of carefully
+considered thought and expression. If by "unguarded" he means
+"outspoken," I will plead justification. For is it not time that a
+question which deeply concerns not only the thought, but the practice of
+the thinking portions of communities should be fully considered and its
+strength and its weakness disclosed by full discussion? The world looks
+to its leaders for reasoned guidance, not for assertion which may be but
+the husk of a thought that has gone. What is wanted is reasoned
+consideration, not unreasoned condemnation. For churchmen and statesmen
+alike, opportunism helps in situations which are small, but never in
+those which are large; there clarity of principle alone stands forth as
+a beacon to light the path.
+
+    [Footnote 1: Diocesan Conference at York.]
+
+The fear that discussion of this vital problem will endanger morality
+surely loses sight of the fact of knowledge being so fundamental to our
+well-being, that incidental dangers encountered along its path must not
+deter us from its continued pursuit.
+
+Moreover, it will be noticed that I have discriminated between the
+principle of birth control and the methods of its application, the
+latter being preferably determined by the advice of the family doctor
+rather than by the perusal of books in general circulation.
+
+The attitude of mind of the Church towards the problems of sexual
+relationships is part of a larger question, viz., the ever-widening gap
+between the formal teaching of the Church and the actual belief of the
+present generation, including many who by baptism and early training
+belong to her fold.
+
+This gap between authority and actuality of belief imposes a strain on
+intellectual integrity and weakens the foundations of a real allegiance.
+For those of us who are of mature years the gap is bridged by the tender
+associations of our childhood and the memory of parents, for whom no
+such gap existed, and whose faith and character have left indelible
+impressions on our lives. But for the youth of to-day no such bridge
+exists. The War has caused a hiatus and thought has broken with
+tradition. Thus, youth is no longer willing to accept forms and formul�
+only on account of their age. So it has set out on a voyage of inquiry,
+and finding some things which are doubtful and others which are
+insufficient, is searching for forms of expression more in harmony with
+the realities of life and knowledge. Although becoming estranged in
+thought from the Church, it is possessed of deep religious feeling and,
+firm on the rock foundation of faith, is trying to build a
+superstructure more in accord with the progress of revelation, not only
+in religion, but in science, and the needs of the world in which it
+moves and has its being.
+
+
+    Far be it, that I should write thee sin or blame,
+    Or think thee unbefitting holiest place,
+    Perpetual fountain of domestic sweets,
+    Whose bed is undefiled and chaste pronounced,
+    Present, or past, as saints and patriarchs used.
+    Here Love his golden shafts employs, here lights
+    His constant lamp, and waves his purple wings,
+    Reigns here and revels; not in the bought smile
+    Of harlots, loveless, joyless, unendeared,
+    Casual fruition; nor in court-amours,
+    Mixed dance, or wanton mask, or midnight ball,
+    Or serenate, which the starved lover sings
+    To his proud fair, best quitted with disdain.
+    These, lulled by nightingales, embracing slept,
+    And on their naked limbs the flowery roof
+    Showered roses, which the morn repaired.
+
+                                        _Paradise Lost,_
+                                                    Book IV.
+
+
+
+
+                      LOVE--MARRIAGE--BIRTH CONTROL
+
+
+May I make certain preliminary observations? Painters and poets depict
+Love to us in golden hues and arouse in us happy and sympathetic, and, I
+trust, reminiscent response, helping us to realise that life without the
+love of man and woman would be like the world without sunshine.
+
+Though, therefore, the social student in his approach to the subject is
+not helped by the beauties of colour and song, it behoves him to avoid
+undue solemnity, and still more an air of portentous foreboding.
+
+In each age customs have been deplored as heralds of evil, but the evils
+have seldom materialised.
+
+One of the difficulties of this subject is that those who are called
+upon to give counsel are apt to forget the strength of the forces to be
+dealt with, for it is during youth especially that sex attractions are
+so powerful, and, may I add, so delightful. Middle-aged people may be
+divided into three classes.
+
+Those who are still young.
+
+Those who have forgotten they were young.
+
+Those who were never young.
+
+And it is with the first class before my eyes that I am privileged to
+address this audience.
+
+I will confine my attention to the sexual relationships between
+unrelated adult people in youth and prime.
+
+It is common ground that sex love between such people should be the
+physical expression of a lasting affection, and be so intimately blended
+with the feelings of helpfulness, sympathy, and intimate friendship as
+to form a union of body, mind and spirit. It further should be
+associated with the love of and desire for children.
+
+This complex is best secured by the institution of marriage.
+
+All its constituent features, except two, are vividly realised in
+intimate friendship, and above all, in that unique bond between mother
+and son which with some of us is the most wonderful thing in our lives.
+
+Its two exclusively distinctive features are: _sex love_ and _child
+love_.
+
+These are the real problems before us to-day, particularly the former,
+and if in these remarks I seem to concentrate on the problems of sex
+love, be it understood I do so from a desire to save the time of the
+meeting and not because I think sex love should reign alone in
+unbalanced supremacy.
+
+And by sex love I mean that love which involves intercourse or the
+desire for such.
+
+It is necessary to my argument to emphasise that sex love is one of the
+clamant dominating forces of the world. Not only does history show the
+destinies of nations and dynasties determined by its sway--but here in
+our every-day life we see its influence, direct or indirect, forceful
+and ubiquitous beyond aught else.
+
+
+                        AN IMPERIOUS INSTINCT.
+
+Any statesmanlike review, therefore, will recognise that here we have an
+instinct--so fundamental, so imperious--that its influence is a fact which
+has to be accepted: suppress it you cannot. You may guide it into
+healthy channels--but an outlet it will have, and if that outlet is
+inadequate or unduly obstructed, irregular channels will be forced.
+
+We uphold the control of sex love outside marriage by the individual--and
+that we are right in so doing is incontestable. But let us realise that
+in practice self-control has a breaking point, and that if in any
+community marriage is difficult or late of attainment, an increase of
+irregular unions will inevitably result.
+
+That the Church recognises this is shown by the statement that marriage
+was instituted to prevent sin. In considering the problem of illicit
+intercourse and its attendant evils the social conditions that make for
+a wholesome life are of more efficiency than Acts of Parliament to
+suppress vice.
+
+My desire, however, on this occasion is rather to consider sex love in
+relation to marriage. The first point I wish to make is that people need
+more knowledge of the scientific bearings of sex relations and more
+clearly defined guidance of their rightful purport and practice. They
+are imperfectly provided with both. We talk about instructing the young
+when we are neither clear nor agreed amongst ourselves, and the young
+are endangered as much by crudity as by absence of instruction.
+
+All are agreed that union of body should be in association with union of
+mind and soul; all are agreed that the rearing of children is a
+pre-eminent purpose. But what purport is there beyond these? Here there
+is a lack of precision.
+
+
+                       THE CHURCH AND MARRIAGE.
+
+What does the Church service say? It says "Marriage was ordained for a
+remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication; that such persons as have
+not the gift of continency might marry and keep themselves undefiled
+members of Christ's body."
+
+Now this is a very negative blessing. It implies that where
+unfortunately people cannot be continent that marriage gives the best
+way out--enables them to get relief within the pale of virtue. This
+attitude affords to sex love no positive purport or merit of its own,
+and is in striking conflict with the facts of life through the
+ages--facts which carry social approval.
+
+The recent pronouncement of the Church as set forth in Resolution 68 of
+the Lambeth Conference seems to imply condemnation of sex love as such,
+and to imply sanction of sex love _only_ as a means to an end--namely,
+procreation, though it must be admitted it lacks that clearness of
+direction which in so vital a matter one would have expected. It almost
+reminds me of one of those diplomatic formul� which is not intended to
+be too clear. Allow me to quote from it:--
+
+"In opposition to the teaching which under the name of science and
+religion encourages married people in the deliberate cultivation of
+sexual union as an end in itself, we steadfastly uphold what must always
+be regarded as the governing consideration of Christian marriage. One is
+the primary purpose for which marriage exists--namely, the continuation
+of the race through the gift and heritage of children; the other is the
+paramount importance in married life of deliberate and thoughtful
+self-control."
+
+
+                          THE FACTS OF LIFE.
+
+Now the plain meaning of this statement is that sexual union should take
+place for the sole purpose of procreation, that sexual union as _an_ end
+in itself--not, mind you, _the_ only end--(there we should all agree), but
+sexual union as _an_ end in itself is to be condemned.
+
+That means that sexual intercourse should rightly take place _only_ for
+the purpose of procreation.
+
+Now the large majority of conceptions take place immediately after and
+before the monthly period.
+
+Quite a large family could easily result from quite a few sexual unions.
+For the rest the couple should be celibate. Any intercourse not having
+procreation as its intention is "sexual union as an end in itself," and
+therefore by inference condemned by the Lambeth Conference.
+
+Think of the facts of life. Let us recall our own love--our marriage,
+our honeymoon. Has not sexual union over and over again been the
+physical expression of our love without thought or intention of
+procreation? Have we all been wrong? Or is it that the Church lacks that
+vital contact with the realities of life which accounts for the gulf
+between her and the people?
+
+The love envisaged by the Lambeth Conference is an invertebrate joyless
+thing--not worth the having. Fortunately it is in contrast to the real
+thing as practised by clergy and laity.
+
+Fancy an ardent lover (and what respect have you for a lover who is not
+ardent)--the type you would like your daughter to marry--virile,
+ambitious, chivalrous--a man who means to work hard and love hard. Fancy
+putting before these lovers--eager and expectant of the joys before
+them--the Lambeth picture of marriage. Do you expect to gain their
+confidence?
+
+They ask for bread; you give them a stone.
+
+
+                       ALLEGIANCE OF THE YOUNG.
+
+Authority, and I include under authority the Churches, will never gain
+the allegiance of the young unless their attitude is more frank, more
+courageous, and more in accordance with realities.
+
+And to tell you the truth, I am not sure that too much prudent
+self-restraint suits love and its purport. Romance and deliberate
+self-control do not, to my mind, rhyme very well together. A touch of
+madness to begin with does no harm. Heaven knows life sobers it soon
+enough. If you don't start life with a head of steam you won't get far.
+
+Sex love has, apart from parenthood, a purport of its own. It is
+something to prize and to cherish for its own sake. It is an essential
+part of health and happiness in marriage. And now, if you will allow me,
+I will carry this argument a step further.
+
+If sexual union is a gift of God it is worth learning how to use it.
+Within its own sphere it should be cultivated so as to bring physical
+satisfaction to both, not merely to one. The attainment of mutual and
+reciprocal joy in their relations constitutes a firm bond between two
+people and makes for durability of their marriage tie.
+
+Reciprocity in sex love is the physical counterpart of sympathy. More
+marriages fail from inadequate and clumsy sex love than from too much
+sex love.
+
+
+                     PASSION A WORTHY POSSESSION.
+
+The lack of proper understanding is in no small measure responsible for
+the unfulfilment of (connubial) happiness, and every degree of
+discontent and unhappiness may from this cause occur, leading to rupture
+of the marriage bond itself. How often do medical men have to deal with
+these difficulties, and how fortunate if such difficulties are disclosed
+early enough in married life to be rectified. Otherwise how tragic may
+be their consequences, and many a case in the Divorce Court has thus
+had its origin.
+
+To the foregoing contentions it might be objected you are encouraging
+passion. My reply would be, passion is a worthy possession; most men,
+who are any good, are capable of passion.
+
+You all enjoy ardent and passionate love in art and literature. Why not
+give it a place in real life?
+
+Why some people look askance at passion is because they are confusing it
+with sensuality. Sex love without passion is a poor, lifeless thing.
+Sensuality, on the other hand, is on a level with gluttony--a physical
+excess--detached from sentiment, chivalry, or tenderness.
+
+It is just as important to give sex love its place as to avoid its over
+emphasis. Its real and effective restraints are those imposed by a
+loving and sympathetic companionship, by the privileges of parenthood,
+the exacting claims of career and that civic sense which prompts men to
+do social service.
+
+Now that the revision of the Prayer Book is receiving consideration, I
+should like to suggest, with great respect, that an addition be made to
+the objects of marriage in the Marriage Service, in these terms: "The
+complete realisation of the love of this man and this woman, the one for
+the other."
+
+
+                            BIRTH CONTROL.
+
+And now, if you will permit me, I will pass on to consider the
+all-important question of Birth Control.
+
+First, I will put forward with confidence the view that birth control
+is here to stay. It is an established fact, and for good or evil has to
+be accepted. Although the extent of its application can be and is being
+modified, no denunciations will abolish it.
+
+Despite the influence and condemnations of the Church, it has been
+practised in France for well over half a century, and in Belgium and
+other Catholic countries is extending. And if the Roman Catholic Church,
+with its compact organisation, its power of authority, and its
+discipline, cannot check this procedure, is it likely that Protestant
+Churches will be able to do so?--for Protestant religions depend for
+their strength on the conviction and esteem they establish in the heads
+and hearts of their people.
+
+The reasons which lead parents to limit their offspring are sometimes
+selfish, but more often honourable and cogent. The desire to marry and
+to rear children well equipped for life's struggle, limited incomes, the
+cost of living, burdensome taxation, are forcible motives; and, further,
+amongst the educated classes there is the desire of women to take a part
+in life and their husband's careers, which is incompatible with
+oft-recurring pregnancies. Absence of birth control means late
+marriages, and these carry with them irregular unions and all the
+baneful consequences.
+
+It is idle to decry illicit intercourse and interpose obstacles to
+marriage at one and the same time.
+
+But, say many whose opinions are entitled to our respect: "Yes--birth
+control may be necessary, but the only birth control which is
+justifiable is voluntary abstention from connubial relations." Such
+abstention would be either ineffective or, if effective, impracticable
+and harmful to health and happiness.
+
+To limit the size of a family to, say, four children during a
+child-bearing period of 20-25 years, would be to impose on a married
+couple an amount of abstention which for long periods would almost be
+equivalent to celibacy, and when one remembers that owing to economic
+reasons the abstention would have to be most strict during the earlier
+years of married life when desires are strongest, I maintain a demand is
+being made which for the mass of people it is impossible to meet; that
+the endeavours to meet it would impose a strain hostile to health and
+happiness and carry with them grave dangers to morals.
+
+Imagine a young married couple in love with each other--the parents, say,
+of one child, who feel they cannot afford another child for, say, three
+years--being expected to occupy the same room and to abstain for two
+years. The thing is preposterous. You might as well put water by the
+side of a man suffering from thirst and tell him not to drink it.
+
+And further than that, if the efforts to abstain are seriously made the
+strain involved is harmful to the health and temper--if the efforts do
+not succeed the minds of husband and wife are troubled by doubts and
+anxieties which are damaging to their intimate relationships. And,
+moreover, if this harmful restraint succeeds in preventing conception
+there eventuates the inevitable prevalence of sex excitement followed
+by abortive and half-realised satisfaction, and the enhanced risk of the
+man or woman yielding to outside sex temptations.
+
+No--birth control by abstention is either ineffective, or, if effective,
+is pernicious.
+
+
+                      THE HOME'S TRUE INTERESTS.
+
+I will next consider Artificial Control. The forces in modern life which
+make for birth control are so strong that only convincing reasons will
+make people desist from it. It is said to be unnatural and intrinsically
+immoral. This word unnatural perplexes me. Civilisation involves the
+chaining of natural forces and their conversion to man's will and uses.
+Much of medicine and surgery consists of means to overcome nature.
+
+When an�sthetics were first used at childbirth there was an outcry on
+the part of many worthy and religious people that their use under such
+circumstances was unnatural and wicked, because God meant woman to
+suffer the struggles and pains of childbirth. Now we all admit it is
+right to control the process of childbirth, and to save the mother as
+much pain as possible. It is no more unnatural to control conception by
+artificial means than to control childbirth by artificial means. Surely
+the whole question turns on whether these artificial means are for the
+good or harm of the individual and the community! Do all contraceptive
+measures damage the individual? The answer to that depends on the
+purpose for which they are used. If they are used to render unions
+childless or inadequately fruitful they are harmful. There are grounds
+for thinking that unrealisation of maternity favours sterility.
+
+Generally speaking, birth control before the first child is inadvisable.
+On the other hand, the justifiable use of birth control is to limit the
+number of children, and to spread out their arrival in such a way as to
+serve their true interests and those of their home.
+
+That such applications of birth control produce no harm receives support
+from the study of the numbers and distribution of the children of the
+professional classes.
+
+The advantage and disadvantage of this or that contraceptive is a
+technical matter for the doctors to determine.
+
+Again, it has been stated that artificial control is harmful because it
+leads to excessive indulgence. Experience and evidence are against this
+being a fact.
+
+Contraceptives by the time and circumstance of their application involve
+prudence and control. The proper and efficient restraints on undue
+sexual indulgence are to be found in mutual consideration, sympathy, and
+tenderness and the pressing claims of life's duties.
+
+The sensualist who is not deterred from excess by these considerations
+will be completely careless whether his indulgence results in children
+or not--he is moved by his selfish impulses alone.
+
+
+                         CAREFUL DISTINCTION.
+
+Once more, careful distinction needs to be made between the use and the
+bad effects of the abuse of birth control. That its abuse produces harm
+I fully agree--harm to parents, to families, and to the nation. But abuse
+is not a just condemnation of legitimate use. Over-eating,
+over-drinking, over-smoking, over-sleeping, over-work do not carry
+condemnation of eating, drinking, smoking, sleeping, work.
+
+But the evils of excessive birth control are very real. There is first
+the individual--every woman is better in body and mind for child
+bearing--the periodic completion of the maternal cycle brings out the
+best, preserves youth and maintains vital contact with life. Maternity
+gives to woman her most beautiful attributes. Fancy being mad enough to
+suppress it! If one watches the woman with one child and all maternity
+finished before thirty, and compare her at forty with the woman of the
+same age who has had, say, four children at proper intervals, who
+usually has the advantage in preservation of youth and beauty? Not the
+former.
+
+On the other hand, it must be admitted that baby after baby every year
+or eighteen months wears and often exhausts a woman's strength. The
+inference is that the use of birth control is good, its abuse bad.
+
+Next, the children. Is it even necessary to refer to the failure of the
+single-child household? Poor little thing! Surrounded by over-anxious
+parents, spoilt, no children to play with, bored stiff by adults. And
+then, perhaps, illness, and it may be death--and when it is too late to
+produce another.
+
+Of the many tragedies I met in the war none exceeded that attaching to
+the loss of only children. It often means the end of all things; nothing
+to live for--just blank despair.
+
+
+                         THE WAY OF HAPPINESS.
+
+The parents and the home both need children of varying ages. That is the
+way of happiness and enduring youth.
+
+And lastly, the national aspect may be stated very briefly. If England
+is not to lose her place in the world her population must be maintained.
+Unless fathers and mothers produce an average of over three children
+that population will not be maintained.
+
+If you say to a young husband and wife with their one or two children,
+"Do you like to contemplate that when you both leave life your country
+will, through your action, be worse off than when you entered life?"
+that is an appeal to patriotism, and likely to be a successful appeal.
+
+There are signs of a public opinion forming which will condemn the
+selfishness of marriages without their proper heritage of children, but
+such public opinion will not be strengthened by an indiscriminate
+condemnation of birth control.
+
+May I end my speech with an appeal that the Church approaches this
+question, in common with certain others, in the light of modern
+knowledge and the needs of a new world, and unhampered by traditions
+which have outworn their usefulness?
+
+
+
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+<pre>
+
+Project Gutenberg's Love--Marriage--Birth Control, by Bertrand  Dawson
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Love--Marriage--Birth Control
+       Being a Speech delivered at the Church Congress at
+              Birmingham, October, 1921
+
+Author: Bertrand  Dawson
+
+Release Date: October 7, 2008 [EBook #26837]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOVE--MARRIAGE--BIRTH CONTROL ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Bryan Ness, Markus Brenner and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
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+</pre>
+
+
+
+<!-- <p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[1]</a></span>LOVE&mdash;MARRIAGE&mdash;BIRTH CONTROL</p> -->
+
+<!-- <p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[2]</a></span>[Blank Page]</p> -->
+
+<h1><!-- <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[3]</a></span> -->
+LOVE&mdash;MARRIAGE&mdash;<br />
+BIRTH CONTROL</h1>
+
+<p class="subtitle">Being a Speech delivered at the Church<br />
+Congress at Birmingham, October, 1921:</p>
+
+<p class="subtitle" style="margin-top: 2.5em">WITH A FOREWORD</p>
+
+<p class="by">BY</p>
+<p class="author">LORD DAWSON OF PENN</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 53px; margin-top: 2.5em; margin-bottom: 2.5em">
+<img src="images/logo.jpg" width="53" height="85" alt="" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="publisher">London<br />
+<big>NISBET &amp; CO. LTD.</big><br />
+<small>22 BERNERS STREET, W.1</small></p>
+
+
+<div class="editions">
+<p><!-- <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[4]</a></span> -->
+<i>First Published January,</i> 1922<br />
+<i>Reprinted January,</i> 1922<br />
+<i>Reprinted February,</i> 1922<br />
+<i>Reprinted April,</i> 1922</p>
+</div>
+
+<p class="copyright"><i>All rights reserved</i></p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span><a name="FOREWORD" id="FOREWORD"></a>FOREWORD</h2>
+
+
+<p class="newsection"><span class="uppercase"><span class="dropcap">A</span>t</span> the Church Congress held this autumn at
+Birmingham I was honoured by an invitation
+to speak on &#8220;Sexual Relationships.&#8221;</p>
+
+<p>The subject-matter of that speech has aroused
+widespread interest and some controversy. It is
+being published in response to numerous requests
+and because most of the reports, being of necessity
+condensed, inadequately and even in some instances
+incorrectly set forth the views I endeavoured to
+champion; for any speech on a subject so difficult
+to handle needs to be read in its entirety if misapprehensions
+are to be avoided.</p>
+
+<p>And first, may I thank numerous correspondents;
+and those in disagreement equally with those in
+agreement with me. One and all they bear testimony,
+if indeed such were needed, to how widespread
+and responsible is the interest on this question,
+and therefore to the wisdom of its full consideration.
+Amongst the letters are intimate human
+documents which pathetically disclose, as does professional
+experience, how frequently happiness is
+marred by ignorance of either the principles or the
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span>methods which should condition the true conception
+of sexual relationships.</p>
+
+<p>I elected to deal with these relationships in their
+healthy rather than their morbid aspects, because
+the study of health is a sure way to lessen disease.
+Mere denunciations of evil serve but small purpose.
+The aim of statesmanship is rather to seek out causes
+and ponder over remedies, and prominent among
+remedies is surely the study of the significance and
+purport of sex love in a well-ordered and Christian
+community and provision for its healthy outlet. To
+this the first part of my speech was devoted. The
+view there upheld has brought forth a large measure
+of agreement and no reasoned disagreement.</p>
+
+<p>The second part of my speech dealing with birth
+control (or what in strict accuracy should be called
+conception control) has aroused more controversy,
+but I venture to think that some, at least, of the
+criticism directed against my argument will disappear
+with a perusal of this full text of my speech. Therein
+will be found condemnation of infertile marriages
+and a strong plea that children are essential to the
+health and happiness of man and woman, are necessary
+to each other and of vital importance to the
+nation.</p>
+
+<p>The difference between my critics and myself is
+not as to the vital necessity of the family following
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span>marriage, but rather this&mdash;they would like to see the
+large families prevalent fifty years ago restored (and
+where means and circumstances are favourable, such
+large families may be the source of much happiness);
+whereas under present-day conditions I should
+regard them as seldom attainable and desirable, and
+would favour smaller families of children born at
+predetermined intervals.</p>
+
+<p>A married couple who have produced four children
+in twenty years cannot be said to have ignored the
+precept &#8220;be fruitful and multiply and replenish the
+earth&#8221; because they have so selected the times for
+the conceptions of their children as to enable them
+to give those children a better upbringing rather
+than have selfishly left the sequence of their offspring
+to blind chance.</p>
+
+<p>The argument that the nation should foster large
+families in order more quickly to people the untenanted
+portions of the Empire, and so add to the
+strength and wealth of the British Dominions,
+requires serious attention, not in isolation, but in
+conjunction with other considerations, and calls forth
+varying opinions from economists.</p>
+
+<p>On the other hand, emigration into <i>foreign</i> lands
+would seem to be a source of weakness to a nation.
+The feeding, clothing and educating of a young
+Briton cost the nation a definite sum of money, say,
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span>&pound;400; if at the age of twenty, when he is ready to
+produce, that young Briton emigrates to a foreign
+state, he is a definite loss to the country of his birth
+and the country of his adoption is the gainer.</p>
+
+<p>From another standpoint the criticism is made
+that I have not urged the paramount necessity of
+diminishing the population of these islands. With
+the economic soundness of this view others are better
+fitted to deal, but no economic considerations would
+outweigh the importance of child life inspiring the
+homes of the land, and if the number and sequence
+of children can be regulated by the parents&#8217; circumstances,
+these homes will increase in number, will
+start when parents are younger and confer greater
+benefits alike on the family and the State. If need
+be, the State could grant a progressive rebate of
+taxation, and educational facilities for each of three
+children born after the second and where the father
+is twenty-five years of age or upwards.</p>
+
+<p>It is held by some that artificial birth control is
+contrary to Christian morals. This is the view firmly
+held by the Roman Catholic Church, and since the
+governance of the Roman communion is based on
+&#8220;authority,&#8221; its decisions are binding on its members
+and command our respect. But pronouncements of
+Protestant communions do not owe their force to
+&#8220;authority,&#8221; but to the conviction they carry in
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span>the minds and consciences of their people, and no
+clear scriptural sanction for the condemnation of
+birth control has been given, nor does the report of
+the Lambeth Conference vouchsafe any reasons why
+it is physically and morally harmful.</p>
+
+<p>A distinguished prelate of our Church has
+characterised the views herein set forth as &#8220;very
+unguarded.&#8221;<a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> If by that expression he means
+&#8220;careless,&#8221; he cannot have done me the honour of
+reading my speech, which, whatever its demerits,
+bears ample evidence of carefully considered thought
+and expression. If by &#8220;unguarded&#8221; he means
+&#8220;outspoken,&#8221; I will plead justification. For is it
+not time that a question which deeply concerns not
+only the thought, but the practice of the thinking
+portions of communities should be fully considered
+and its strength and its weakness disclosed by full
+discussion? The world looks to its leaders for
+reasoned guidance, not for assertion which may be
+but the husk of a thought that has gone. What is
+wanted is reasoned consideration, not unreasoned
+condemnation. For churchmen and statesmen alike,
+opportunism helps in situations which are small, but
+never in those which are large; there clarity of principle
+alone stands forth as a beacon to light the path.</p>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> Diocesan Conference at York.</p></div>
+
+<p>The fear that discussion of this vital problem will
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span>endanger morality surely loses sight of the fact of
+knowledge being so fundamental to our well-being,
+that incidental dangers encountered along its path
+must not deter us from its continued pursuit.</p>
+
+<p>Moreover, it will be noticed that I have discriminated
+between the principle of birth control
+and the methods of its application, the latter being
+preferably determined by the advice of the family
+doctor rather than by the perusal of books in general
+circulation.</p>
+
+<p>The attitude of mind of the Church towards the
+problems of sexual relationships is part of a larger
+question, viz., the ever-widening gap between the
+formal teaching of the Church and the actual belief
+of the present generation, including many who by
+baptism and early training belong to her fold.</p>
+
+<p>This gap between authority and actuality of belief
+imposes a strain on intellectual integrity and weakens
+the foundations of a real allegiance. For those of
+us who are of mature years the gap is bridged by the
+tender associations of our childhood and the memory
+of parents, for whom no such gap existed, and whose
+faith and character have left indelible impressions on
+our lives. But for the youth of to-day no such
+bridge exists. The War has caused a hiatus and
+thought has broken with tradition. Thus, youth is
+no longer willing to accept forms and formul&aelig; only
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span>on account of their age. So it has set out on a voyage
+of inquiry, and finding some things which are
+doubtful and others which are insufficient, is searching
+for forms of expression more in harmony with
+the realities of life and knowledge. Although becoming
+estranged in thought from the Church, it is
+possessed of deep religious feeling and, firm on the
+rock foundation of faith, is trying to build a superstructure
+more in accord with the progress of
+revelation, not only in religion, but in science, and
+the needs of the world in which it moves and has its
+being.</p>
+
+<div class="poem">
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Far be it, that I should write thee sin or blame,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Or think thee unbefitting holiest place,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Perpetual fountain of domestic sweets,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Whose bed is undefiled and chaste pronounced,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Present, or past, as saints and patriarchs used.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Here Love his golden shafts employs, here lights<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">His constant lamp, and waves his purple wings,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Reigns here and revels; not in the bought smile<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of harlots, loveless, joyless, unendeared,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Casual fruition; nor in court-amours,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Mixed dance, or wanton mask, or midnight ball,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Or serenate, which the starved lover sings<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To his proud fair, best quitted with disdain.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">These, lulled by nightingales, embracing slept,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And on their naked limbs the flowery roof<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Showered roses, which the morn repaired.<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p style="margin-left: 15em; text-indent: 0em"><i>Paradise Lost,</i><br />
+<span style="padding-left: 4em">Book IV.</span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span>LOVE&mdash;MARRIAGE&mdash;BIRTH CONTROL</h2>
+
+
+<p class="newsection"><span class="uppercase"><span class="dropcap">M</span>ay</span> I make certain preliminary observations?
+Painters and poets depict Love to us in golden
+hues and arouse in us happy and sympathetic, and,
+I trust, reminiscent response, helping us to realise
+that life without the love of man and woman would
+be like the world without sunshine.</p>
+
+<p>Though, therefore, the social student in his
+approach to the subject is not helped by the beauties
+of colour and song, it behoves him to avoid undue
+solemnity, and still more an air of portentous
+foreboding.</p>
+
+<p>In each age customs have been deplored as heralds
+of evil, but the evils have seldom materialised.</p>
+
+<p>One of the difficulties of this subject is that those
+who are called upon to give counsel are apt to forget
+the strength of the forces to be dealt with, for it is
+during youth especially that sex attractions are so
+powerful, and, may I add, so delightful. Middle-aged
+people may be divided into three classes.</p>
+
+<p>Those who are still young.</p>
+
+<p>Those who have forgotten they were young.</p>
+
+<p>Those who were never young.</p>
+
+<p>And it is with the first class before my eyes that I
+am privileged to address this audience.</p>
+
+<p>I will confine my attention to the sexual relationships
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span>between unrelated adult people in youth and
+prime.</p>
+
+<p>It is common ground that sex love between such
+people should be the physical expression of a lasting
+affection, and be so intimately blended with the
+feelings of helpfulness, sympathy, and intimate
+friendship as to form a union of body, mind and
+spirit. It further should be associated with the love
+of and desire for children.</p>
+
+<p>This complex is best secured by the institution of
+marriage.</p>
+
+<p>All its constituent features, except two, are vividly
+realised in intimate friendship, and above all, in
+that unique bond between mother and son which
+with some of us is the most wonderful thing in our
+lives.</p>
+
+<p>Its two exclusively distinctive features are: <i>sex
+love</i> and <i>child love</i>.</p>
+
+<p>These are the real problems before us to-day,
+particularly the former, and if in these remarks I
+seem to concentrate on the problems of sex love, be it
+understood I do so from a desire to save the time of
+the meeting and not because I think sex love should
+reign alone in unbalanced supremacy.</p>
+
+<p>And by sex love I mean that love which involves
+intercourse or the desire for such.</p>
+
+<p>It is necessary to my argument to emphasise that
+sex love is one of the clamant dominating forces of
+the world. Not only does history show the destinies
+of nations and dynasties determined by its sway&mdash;but
+here in our every-day life we see its influence,
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span>direct or indirect, forceful and ubiquitous beyond
+aught else.</p>
+
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">An Imperious Instinct.</span></h3>
+
+<p>Any statesmanlike review, therefore, will recognise
+that here we have an instinct&mdash;so fundamental, so
+imperious&mdash;that its influence is a fact which has to
+be accepted: suppress it you cannot. You may
+guide it into healthy channels&mdash;but an outlet it will
+have, and if that outlet is inadequate or unduly
+obstructed, irregular channels will be forced.</p>
+
+<p>We uphold the control of sex love outside marriage
+by the individual&mdash;and that we are right in so doing
+is incontestable. But let us realise that in practice
+self-control has a breaking point, and that if in any
+community marriage is difficult or late of attainment,
+an increase of irregular unions will inevitably result.</p>
+
+<p>That the Church recognises this is shown by the
+statement that marriage was instituted to prevent sin.
+In considering the problem of illicit intercourse and
+its attendant evils the social conditions that make for
+a wholesome life are of more efficiency than Acts of
+Parliament to suppress vice.</p>
+
+<p>My desire, however, on this occasion is rather to
+consider sex love in relation to marriage. The first
+point I wish to make is that people need more
+knowledge of the scientific bearings of sex relations
+and more clearly defined guidance of their rightful
+purport and practice. They are imperfectly provided
+with both. We talk about instructing the
+young when we are neither clear nor agreed amongst
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span>ourselves, and the young are endangered as much by
+crudity as by absence of instruction.</p>
+
+<p>All are agreed that union of body should be in
+association with union of mind and soul; all are
+agreed that the rearing of children is a pre-eminent
+purpose. But what purport is there beyond these?
+Here there is a lack of precision.</p>
+
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">The Church and Marriage.</span></h3>
+
+<p>What does the Church service say? It says
+&#8220;Marriage was ordained for a remedy against sin,
+and to avoid fornication; that such persons as have
+not the gift of continency might marry and keep
+themselves undefiled members of Christ&#8217;s body.&#8221;</p>
+
+<p>Now this is a very negative blessing. It implies
+that where unfortunately people cannot be continent
+that marriage gives the best way out&mdash;enables them
+to get relief within the pale of virtue. This attitude
+affords to sex love no positive purport or merit of
+its own, and is in striking conflict with the facts of
+life through the ages&mdash;facts which carry social
+approval.</p>
+
+<p>The recent pronouncement of the Church as set
+forth in Resolution 68 of the Lambeth Conference
+seems to imply condemnation of sex love as such,
+and to imply sanction of sex love <i>only</i> as a means to
+an end&mdash;namely, procreation, though it must be
+admitted it lacks that clearness of direction which in
+so vital a matter one would have expected. It almost
+reminds me of one of those diplomatic formul&aelig;
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span>which is not intended to be too clear. Allow me to
+quote from it:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>&#8220;In opposition to the teaching which under the
+name of science and religion encourages married
+people in the deliberate cultivation of sexual union
+as an end in itself, we steadfastly uphold what must
+always be regarded as the governing consideration
+of Christian marriage. One is the primary purpose
+for which marriage exists&mdash;namely, the continuation
+of the race through the gift and heritage of children;
+the other is the paramount importance in married
+life of deliberate and thoughtful self-control.&#8221;</p>
+
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">The Facts of Life.</span></h3>
+
+<p>Now the plain meaning of this statement is that
+sexual union should take place for the sole purpose
+of procreation, that sexual union as <i>an</i> end in itself&mdash;not,
+mind you, <i>the</i> only end&mdash;(there we should all
+agree), but sexual union as <i>an</i> end in itself is to be
+condemned.</p>
+
+<p>That means that sexual intercourse should rightly
+take place <i>only</i> for the purpose of procreation.</p>
+
+<p>Now the large majority of conceptions take place
+immediately after and before the monthly period.</p>
+
+<p>Quite a large family could easily result from quite
+a few sexual unions. For the rest the couple should
+be celibate. Any intercourse not having procreation
+as its intention is &#8220;sexual union as an end in itself,&#8221;
+and therefore by inference condemned by the
+Lambeth Conference.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span>Think of the facts of life. Let us recall our own
+love&mdash;our marriage, our honeymoon. Has not
+sexual union over and over again been the physical
+expression of our love without thought or intention
+of procreation? Have we all been wrong? Or is
+it that the Church lacks that vital contact with the
+realities of life which accounts for the gulf between
+her and the people?</p>
+
+<p>The love envisaged by the Lambeth Conference is
+an invertebrate joyless thing&mdash;not worth the having.
+Fortunately it is in contrast to the real thing as
+practised by clergy and laity.</p>
+
+<p>Fancy an ardent lover (and what respect have you
+for a lover who is not ardent)&mdash;the type you would
+like your daughter to marry&mdash;virile, ambitious,
+chivalrous&mdash;a man who means to work hard and
+love hard. Fancy putting before these lovers&mdash;eager
+and expectant of the joys before them&mdash;the
+Lambeth picture of marriage. Do you expect to
+gain their confidence?</p>
+
+<p>They ask for bread; you give them a stone.</p>
+
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Allegiance of the Young.</span></h3>
+
+<p>Authority, and I include under authority the
+Churches, will never gain the allegiance of the
+young unless their attitude is more frank, more
+courageous, and more in accordance with realities.</p>
+
+<p>And to tell you the truth, I am not sure that too
+much prudent self-restraint suits love and its purport.
+Romance and deliberate self-control do not,
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span>to my mind, rhyme very well together. A touch of
+madness to begin with does no harm. Heaven
+knows life sobers it soon enough. If you don&#8217;t start
+life with a head of steam you won&#8217;t get far.</p>
+
+<p>Sex love has, apart from parenthood, a purport of
+its own. It is something to prize and to cherish for
+its own sake. It is an essential part of health and
+happiness in marriage. And now, if you will allow
+me, I will carry this argument a step further.</p>
+
+<p>If sexual union is a gift of God it is worth learning
+how to use it. Within its own sphere it should be
+cultivated so as to bring physical satisfaction to both,
+not merely to one. The attainment of mutual and
+reciprocal joy in their relations constitutes a firm
+bond between two people and makes for durability
+of their marriage tie.</p>
+
+<p>Reciprocity in sex love is the physical counterpart
+of sympathy. More marriages fail from inadequate
+and clumsy sex love than from too much sex love.</p>
+
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Passion a Worthy Possession.</span></h3>
+
+<p>The lack of proper understanding is in no small
+measure responsible for the unfulfilment of (connubial)
+happiness, and every degree of discontent
+and unhappiness may from this cause occur, leading
+to rupture of the marriage bond itself. How often
+do medical men have to deal with these difficulties,
+and how fortunate if such difficulties are disclosed
+early enough in married life to be rectified. Otherwise
+how tragic may be their consequences, and
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span>many a case in the Divorce Court has thus had its
+origin.</p>
+
+<p>To the foregoing contentions it might be objected
+you are encouraging passion. My reply would be,
+passion is a worthy possession; most men, who are
+any good, are capable of passion.</p>
+
+<p>You all enjoy ardent and passionate love in art
+and literature. Why not give it a place in real life?</p>
+
+<p>Why some people look askance at passion is
+because they are confusing it with sensuality. Sex
+love without passion is a poor, lifeless thing. Sensuality,
+on the other hand, is on a level with gluttony&mdash;a
+physical excess&mdash;detached from sentiment, chivalry,
+or tenderness.</p>
+
+<p>It is just as important to give sex love its place as
+to avoid its over emphasis. Its real and effective
+restraints are those imposed by a loving and sympathetic
+companionship, by the privileges of parenthood,
+the exacting claims of career and that civic
+sense which prompts men to do social service.</p>
+
+<p>Now that the revision of the Prayer Book is
+receiving consideration, I should like to suggest,
+with great respect, that an addition be made to the
+objects of marriage in the Marriage Service, in these
+terms: &#8220;The complete realisation of the love of this
+man and this woman, the one for the other.&#8221;</p>
+
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Birth Control.</span></h3>
+
+<p>And now, if you will permit me, I will pass on to
+consider the all-important question of Birth Control.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span>First, I will put forward with confidence the view
+that birth control is here to stay. It is an established
+fact, and for good or evil has to be accepted. Although
+the extent of its application can be and is being
+modified, no denunciations will abolish it.</p>
+
+<p>Despite the influence and condemnations of the
+Church, it has been practised in France for well over
+half a century, and in Belgium and other Catholic
+countries is extending. And if the Roman Catholic
+Church, with its compact organisation, its power of
+authority, and its discipline, cannot check this procedure,
+is it likely that Protestant Churches will be
+able to do so?&mdash;for Protestant religions depend for
+their strength on the conviction and esteem they
+establish in the heads and hearts of their people.</p>
+
+<p>The reasons which lead parents to limit their
+offspring are sometimes selfish, but more often
+honourable and cogent. The desire to marry and
+to rear children well equipped for life&#8217;s struggle,
+limited incomes, the cost of living, burdensome
+taxation, are forcible motives; and, further, amongst
+the educated classes there is the desire of women to
+take a part in life and their husband&#8217;s careers, which
+is incompatible with oft-recurring pregnancies.
+Absence of birth control means late marriages, and
+these carry with them irregular unions and all the
+baneful consequences.</p>
+
+<p>It is idle to decry illicit intercourse and interpose
+obstacles to marriage at one and the same time.</p>
+
+<p>But, say many whose opinions are entitled to our
+respect: &#8220;Yes&mdash;birth control may be necessary, but
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span>the only birth control which is justifiable is voluntary
+abstention from connubial relations.&#8221; Such abstention
+would be either ineffective or, if effective, impracticable
+and harmful to health and happiness.</p>
+
+<p>To limit the size of a family to, say, four children
+during a child-bearing period of 20&ndash;25 years, would
+be to impose on a married couple an amount of
+abstention which for long periods would almost be
+equivalent to celibacy, and when one remembers that
+owing to economic reasons the abstention would
+have to be most strict during the earlier years of
+married life when desires are strongest, I maintain
+a demand is being made which for the mass of
+people it is impossible to meet; that the endeavours
+to meet it would impose a strain hostile to health and
+happiness and carry with them grave dangers to
+morals.</p>
+
+<p>Imagine a young married couple in love with each
+other&mdash;the parents, say, of one child, who feel they
+cannot afford another child for, say, three years&mdash;being
+expected to occupy the same room and to
+abstain for two years. The thing is preposterous.
+You might as well put water by the side of a man
+suffering from thirst and tell him not to drink it.</p>
+
+<p>And further than that, if the efforts to abstain are
+seriously made the strain involved is harmful to the
+health and temper&mdash;if the efforts do not succeed the
+minds of husband and wife are troubled by doubts
+and anxieties which are damaging to their intimate
+relationships. And, moreover, if this harmful
+restraint succeeds in preventing conception there
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span>eventuates the inevitable prevalence of sex excitement
+followed by abortive and half-realised satisfaction,
+and the enhanced risk of the man or woman
+yielding to outside sex temptations.</p>
+
+<p>No&mdash;birth control by abstention is either ineffective,
+or, if effective, is pernicious.</p>
+
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">The Home&#8217;s True Interests.</span></h3>
+
+<p>I will next consider Artificial Control. The
+forces in modern life which make for birth control
+are so strong that only convincing reasons will make
+people desist from it. It is said to be unnatural and
+intrinsically immoral. This word unnatural perplexes
+me. Civilisation involves the chaining of
+natural forces and their conversion to man&#8217;s will and
+uses. Much of medicine and surgery consists of
+means to overcome nature.</p>
+
+<p>When an&aelig;sthetics were first used at childbirth
+there was an outcry on the part of many worthy and
+religious people that their use under such circumstances
+was unnatural and wicked, because God
+meant woman to suffer the struggles and pains of
+childbirth. Now we all admit it is right to control
+the process of childbirth, and to save the mother as
+much pain as possible. It is no more unnatural to
+control conception by artificial means than to control
+childbirth by artificial means. Surely the whole
+question turns on whether these artificial means are
+for the good or harm of the individual and the community!
+Do all contraceptive measures damage the
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span>individual? The answer to that depends on the
+purpose for which they are used. If they are
+used to render unions childless or inadequately
+fruitful they are harmful. There are grounds for
+thinking that unrealisation of maternity favours
+sterility.</p>
+
+<p>Generally speaking, birth control before the first
+child is inadvisable. On the other hand, the justifiable
+use of birth control is to limit the number of
+children, and to spread out their arrival in such a
+way as to serve their true interests and those of
+their home.</p>
+
+<p>That such applications of birth control produce
+no harm receives support from the study of the
+numbers and distribution of the children of the
+professional classes.</p>
+
+<p>The advantage and disadvantage of this or that
+contraceptive is a technical matter for the doctors
+to determine.</p>
+
+<p>Again, it has been stated that artificial control is
+harmful because it leads to excessive indulgence.
+Experience and evidence are against this being a
+fact.</p>
+
+<p>Contraceptives by the time and circumstance of
+their application involve prudence and control. The
+proper and efficient restraints on undue sexual
+indulgence are to be found in mutual consideration,
+sympathy, and tenderness and the pressing claims
+of life&#8217;s duties.</p>
+
+<p>The sensualist who is not deterred from excess by
+these considerations will be completely careless
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span>whether his indulgence results in children or not&mdash;he
+is moved by his selfish impulses alone.</p>
+
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">Careful Distinction.</span></h3>
+
+<p>Once more, careful distinction needs to be made
+between the use and the bad effects of the abuse
+of birth control. That its abuse produces harm
+I fully agree&mdash;harm to parents, to families, and to the
+nation. But abuse is not a just condemnation of
+legitimate use. Over-eating, over-drinking, over-smoking,
+over-sleeping, over-work do not carry
+condemnation of eating, drinking, smoking, sleeping,
+work.</p>
+
+<p>But the evils of excessive birth control are very
+real. There is first the individual&mdash;every woman is
+better in body and mind for child bearing&mdash;the
+periodic completion of the maternal cycle brings out
+the best, preserves youth and maintains vital contact
+with life. Maternity gives to woman her most
+beautiful attributes. Fancy being mad enough to
+suppress it! If one watches the woman with one
+child and all maternity finished before thirty, and
+compare her at forty with the woman of the same
+age who has had, say, four children at proper intervals,
+who usually has the advantage in preservation
+of youth and beauty? Not the former.</p>
+
+<p>On the other hand, it must be admitted that baby
+after baby every year or eighteen months wears and
+often exhausts a woman&#8217;s strength. The inference
+is that the use of birth control is good, its abuse bad.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span>Next, the children. Is it even necessary to refer
+to the failure of the single-child household? Poor
+little thing! Surrounded by over-anxious parents,
+spoilt, no children to play with, bored stiff by adults.
+And then, perhaps, illness, and it may be death&mdash;and
+when it is too late to produce another.</p>
+
+<p>Of the many tragedies I met in the war none
+exceeded that attaching to the loss of only children.
+It often means the end of all things; nothing to live
+for&mdash;just blank despair.</p>
+
+
+<h3><span class="smcap">The Way of Happiness.</span></h3>
+
+<p>The parents and the home both need children of
+varying ages. That is the way of happiness and
+enduring youth.</p>
+
+<p>And lastly, the national aspect may be stated very
+briefly. If England is not to lose her place in the
+world her population must be maintained. Unless
+fathers and mothers produce an average of over
+three children that population will not be maintained.</p>
+
+<p>If you say to a young husband and wife with
+their one or two children, &#8220;Do you like to contemplate
+that when you both leave life your country
+will, through your action, be worse off than when
+you entered life?&#8221; that is an appeal to patriotism,
+and likely to be a successful appeal.</p>
+
+<p>There are signs of a public opinion forming which
+will condemn the selfishness of marriages without
+their proper heritage of children, but such public
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span>opinion will not be strengthened by an indiscriminate
+condemnation of birth control.</p>
+
+<p>May I end my speech with an appeal that the
+Church approaches this question, in common with
+certain others, in the light of modern knowledge and
+the needs of a new world, and unhampered by
+traditions which have outworn their usefulness?</p>
+
+<p class="printer"><!-- <span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span> -->PRINTED IN GREAT BRITAIN BY<br />
+THE WHITEFRIARS PRESS, LTD., LONDON AND TONBRIDGE.</p>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Love--Marriage--Birth Control, by Bertrand  Dawson
+
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+
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+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
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+</pre>
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+</body>
+</html>
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@@ -0,0 +1,1021 @@
+Project Gutenberg's Love--Marriage--Birth Control, by Bertrand  Dawson
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Love--Marriage--Birth Control
+       Being a Speech delivered at the Church Congress at
+       Birmingham, October, 1921
+
+Author: Bertrand  Dawson
+
+Release Date: October 7, 2008 [EBook #26837]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOVE--MARRIAGE--BIRTH CONTROL ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Bryan Ness, Markus Brenner and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+                            LOVE--MARRIAGE--
+                             BIRTH CONTROL
+
+
+                Being a Speech delivered at the Church
+                Congress at Birmingham, October, 1921:
+
+
+                            WITH A FOREWORD
+
+                                  BY
+                          LORD DAWSON OF PENN
+
+
+                         [Illustration: logo]
+
+
+                                London
+                           NISBET & CO. LTD.
+                        22 BERNERS STREET, W.1
+
+
+
+    _First Published January, 1922_
+    _Reprinted January, 1922_
+    _Reprinted February, 1922_
+    _Reprinted April, 1922_
+
+    _All rights reserved_
+
+
+
+
+                               FOREWORD
+
+
+At the Church Congress held this autumn at Birmingham I was honoured by
+an invitation to speak on "Sexual Relationships."
+
+The subject-matter of that speech has aroused widespread interest and
+some controversy. It is being published in response to numerous requests
+and because most of the reports, being of necessity condensed,
+inadequately and even in some instances incorrectly set forth the views
+I endeavoured to champion; for any speech on a subject so difficult to
+handle needs to be read in its entirety if misapprehensions are to be
+avoided.
+
+And first, may I thank numerous correspondents; and those in
+disagreement equally with those in agreement with me. One and all they
+bear testimony, if indeed such were needed, to how widespread and
+responsible is the interest on this question, and therefore to the
+wisdom of its full consideration. Amongst the letters are intimate human
+documents which pathetically disclose, as does professional experience,
+how frequently happiness is marred by ignorance of either the principles
+or the methods which should condition the true conception of sexual
+relationships.
+
+I elected to deal with these relationships in their healthy rather than
+their morbid aspects, because the study of health is a sure way to
+lessen disease. Mere denunciations of evil serve but small purpose. The
+aim of statesmanship is rather to seek out causes and ponder over
+remedies, and prominent among remedies is surely the study of the
+significance and purport of sex love in a well-ordered and Christian
+community and provision for its healthy outlet. To this the first part
+of my speech was devoted. The view there upheld has brought forth a
+large measure of agreement and no reasoned disagreement.
+
+The second part of my speech dealing with birth control (or what in
+strict accuracy should be called conception control) has aroused more
+controversy, but I venture to think that some, at least, of the
+criticism directed against my argument will disappear with a perusal of
+this full text of my speech. Therein will be found condemnation of
+infertile marriages and a strong plea that children are essential to the
+health and happiness of man and woman, are necessary to each other and
+of vital importance to the nation.
+
+The difference between my critics and myself is not as to the vital
+necessity of the family following marriage, but rather this--they would
+like to see the large families prevalent fifty years ago restored (and
+where means and circumstances are favourable, such large families may be
+the source of much happiness); whereas under present-day conditions I
+should regard them as seldom attainable and desirable, and would favour
+smaller families of children born at predetermined intervals.
+
+A married couple who have produced four children in twenty years cannot
+be said to have ignored the precept "be fruitful and multiply and
+replenish the earth" because they have so selected the times for the
+conceptions of their children as to enable them to give those children a
+better upbringing rather than have selfishly left the sequence of their
+offspring to blind chance.
+
+The argument that the nation should foster large families in order more
+quickly to people the untenanted portions of the Empire, and so add to
+the strength and wealth of the British Dominions, requires serious
+attention, not in isolation, but in conjunction with other
+considerations, and calls forth varying opinions from economists.
+
+On the other hand, emigration into _foreign_ lands would seem to be a
+source of weakness to a nation. The feeding, clothing and educating of a
+young Briton cost the nation a definite sum of money, say, L400; if at
+the age of twenty, when he is ready to produce, that young Briton
+emigrates to a foreign state, he is a definite loss to the country of
+his birth and the country of his adoption is the gainer.
+
+From another standpoint the criticism is made that I have not urged the
+paramount necessity of diminishing the population of these islands. With
+the economic soundness of this view others are better fitted to deal,
+but no economic considerations would outweigh the importance of child
+life inspiring the homes of the land, and if the number and sequence of
+children can be regulated by the parents' circumstances, these homes
+will increase in number, will start when parents are younger and confer
+greater benefits alike on the family and the State. If need be, the
+State could grant a progressive rebate of taxation, and educational
+facilities for each of three children born after the second and where
+the father is twenty-five years of age or upwards.
+
+It is held by some that artificial birth control is contrary to
+Christian morals. This is the view firmly held by the Roman Catholic
+Church, and since the governance of the Roman communion is based on
+"authority," its decisions are binding on its members and command our
+respect. But pronouncements of Protestant communions do not owe their
+force to "authority," but to the conviction they carry in the minds and
+consciences of their people, and no clear scriptural sanction for the
+condemnation of birth control has been given, nor does the report of the
+Lambeth Conference vouchsafe any reasons why it is physically and
+morally harmful.
+
+A distinguished prelate of our Church has characterised the views herein
+set forth as "very unguarded."[1] If by that expression he means
+"careless," he cannot have done me the honour of reading my speech,
+which, whatever its demerits, bears ample evidence of carefully
+considered thought and expression. If by "unguarded" he means
+"outspoken," I will plead justification. For is it not time that a
+question which deeply concerns not only the thought, but the practice of
+the thinking portions of communities should be fully considered and its
+strength and its weakness disclosed by full discussion? The world looks
+to its leaders for reasoned guidance, not for assertion which may be but
+the husk of a thought that has gone. What is wanted is reasoned
+consideration, not unreasoned condemnation. For churchmen and statesmen
+alike, opportunism helps in situations which are small, but never in
+those which are large; there clarity of principle alone stands forth as
+a beacon to light the path.
+
+    [Footnote 1: Diocesan Conference at York.]
+
+The fear that discussion of this vital problem will endanger morality
+surely loses sight of the fact of knowledge being so fundamental to our
+well-being, that incidental dangers encountered along its path must not
+deter us from its continued pursuit.
+
+Moreover, it will be noticed that I have discriminated between the
+principle of birth control and the methods of its application, the
+latter being preferably determined by the advice of the family doctor
+rather than by the perusal of books in general circulation.
+
+The attitude of mind of the Church towards the problems of sexual
+relationships is part of a larger question, viz., the ever-widening gap
+between the formal teaching of the Church and the actual belief of the
+present generation, including many who by baptism and early training
+belong to her fold.
+
+This gap between authority and actuality of belief imposes a strain on
+intellectual integrity and weakens the foundations of a real allegiance.
+For those of us who are of mature years the gap is bridged by the tender
+associations of our childhood and the memory of parents, for whom no
+such gap existed, and whose faith and character have left indelible
+impressions on our lives. But for the youth of to-day no such bridge
+exists. The War has caused a hiatus and thought has broken with
+tradition. Thus, youth is no longer willing to accept forms and formulae
+only on account of their age. So it has set out on a voyage of inquiry,
+and finding some things which are doubtful and others which are
+insufficient, is searching for forms of expression more in harmony with
+the realities of life and knowledge. Although becoming estranged in
+thought from the Church, it is possessed of deep religious feeling and,
+firm on the rock foundation of faith, is trying to build a
+superstructure more in accord with the progress of revelation, not only
+in religion, but in science, and the needs of the world in which it
+moves and has its being.
+
+
+    Far be it, that I should write thee sin or blame,
+    Or think thee unbefitting holiest place,
+    Perpetual fountain of domestic sweets,
+    Whose bed is undefiled and chaste pronounced,
+    Present, or past, as saints and patriarchs used.
+    Here Love his golden shafts employs, here lights
+    His constant lamp, and waves his purple wings,
+    Reigns here and revels; not in the bought smile
+    Of harlots, loveless, joyless, unendeared,
+    Casual fruition; nor in court-amours,
+    Mixed dance, or wanton mask, or midnight ball,
+    Or serenate, which the starved lover sings
+    To his proud fair, best quitted with disdain.
+    These, lulled by nightingales, embracing slept,
+    And on their naked limbs the flowery roof
+    Showered roses, which the morn repaired.
+
+                                        _Paradise Lost,_
+                                                    Book IV.
+
+
+
+
+                      LOVE--MARRIAGE--BIRTH CONTROL
+
+
+May I make certain preliminary observations? Painters and poets depict
+Love to us in golden hues and arouse in us happy and sympathetic, and, I
+trust, reminiscent response, helping us to realise that life without the
+love of man and woman would be like the world without sunshine.
+
+Though, therefore, the social student in his approach to the subject is
+not helped by the beauties of colour and song, it behoves him to avoid
+undue solemnity, and still more an air of portentous foreboding.
+
+In each age customs have been deplored as heralds of evil, but the evils
+have seldom materialised.
+
+One of the difficulties of this subject is that those who are called
+upon to give counsel are apt to forget the strength of the forces to be
+dealt with, for it is during youth especially that sex attractions are
+so powerful, and, may I add, so delightful. Middle-aged people may be
+divided into three classes.
+
+Those who are still young.
+
+Those who have forgotten they were young.
+
+Those who were never young.
+
+And it is with the first class before my eyes that I am privileged to
+address this audience.
+
+I will confine my attention to the sexual relationships between
+unrelated adult people in youth and prime.
+
+It is common ground that sex love between such people should be the
+physical expression of a lasting affection, and be so intimately blended
+with the feelings of helpfulness, sympathy, and intimate friendship as
+to form a union of body, mind and spirit. It further should be
+associated with the love of and desire for children.
+
+This complex is best secured by the institution of marriage.
+
+All its constituent features, except two, are vividly realised in
+intimate friendship, and above all, in that unique bond between mother
+and son which with some of us is the most wonderful thing in our lives.
+
+Its two exclusively distinctive features are: _sex love_ and _child
+love_.
+
+These are the real problems before us to-day, particularly the former,
+and if in these remarks I seem to concentrate on the problems of sex
+love, be it understood I do so from a desire to save the time of the
+meeting and not because I think sex love should reign alone in
+unbalanced supremacy.
+
+And by sex love I mean that love which involves intercourse or the
+desire for such.
+
+It is necessary to my argument to emphasise that sex love is one of the
+clamant dominating forces of the world. Not only does history show the
+destinies of nations and dynasties determined by its sway--but here in
+our every-day life we see its influence, direct or indirect, forceful
+and ubiquitous beyond aught else.
+
+
+                        AN IMPERIOUS INSTINCT.
+
+Any statesmanlike review, therefore, will recognise that here we have an
+instinct--so fundamental, so imperious--that its influence is a fact which
+has to be accepted: suppress it you cannot. You may guide it into
+healthy channels--but an outlet it will have, and if that outlet is
+inadequate or unduly obstructed, irregular channels will be forced.
+
+We uphold the control of sex love outside marriage by the individual--and
+that we are right in so doing is incontestable. But let us realise that
+in practice self-control has a breaking point, and that if in any
+community marriage is difficult or late of attainment, an increase of
+irregular unions will inevitably result.
+
+That the Church recognises this is shown by the statement that marriage
+was instituted to prevent sin. In considering the problem of illicit
+intercourse and its attendant evils the social conditions that make for
+a wholesome life are of more efficiency than Acts of Parliament to
+suppress vice.
+
+My desire, however, on this occasion is rather to consider sex love in
+relation to marriage. The first point I wish to make is that people need
+more knowledge of the scientific bearings of sex relations and more
+clearly defined guidance of their rightful purport and practice. They
+are imperfectly provided with both. We talk about instructing the young
+when we are neither clear nor agreed amongst ourselves, and the young
+are endangered as much by crudity as by absence of instruction.
+
+All are agreed that union of body should be in association with union of
+mind and soul; all are agreed that the rearing of children is a
+pre-eminent purpose. But what purport is there beyond these? Here there
+is a lack of precision.
+
+
+                       THE CHURCH AND MARRIAGE.
+
+What does the Church service say? It says "Marriage was ordained for a
+remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication; that such persons as have
+not the gift of continency might marry and keep themselves undefiled
+members of Christ's body."
+
+Now this is a very negative blessing. It implies that where
+unfortunately people cannot be continent that marriage gives the best
+way out--enables them to get relief within the pale of virtue. This
+attitude affords to sex love no positive purport or merit of its own,
+and is in striking conflict with the facts of life through the
+ages--facts which carry social approval.
+
+The recent pronouncement of the Church as set forth in Resolution 68 of
+the Lambeth Conference seems to imply condemnation of sex love as such,
+and to imply sanction of sex love _only_ as a means to an end--namely,
+procreation, though it must be admitted it lacks that clearness of
+direction which in so vital a matter one would have expected. It almost
+reminds me of one of those diplomatic formulae which is not intended to
+be too clear. Allow me to quote from it:--
+
+"In opposition to the teaching which under the name of science and
+religion encourages married people in the deliberate cultivation of
+sexual union as an end in itself, we steadfastly uphold what must always
+be regarded as the governing consideration of Christian marriage. One is
+the primary purpose for which marriage exists--namely, the continuation
+of the race through the gift and heritage of children; the other is the
+paramount importance in married life of deliberate and thoughtful
+self-control."
+
+
+                          THE FACTS OF LIFE.
+
+Now the plain meaning of this statement is that sexual union should take
+place for the sole purpose of procreation, that sexual union as _an_ end
+in itself--not, mind you, _the_ only end--(there we should all agree), but
+sexual union as _an_ end in itself is to be condemned.
+
+That means that sexual intercourse should rightly take place _only_ for
+the purpose of procreation.
+
+Now the large majority of conceptions take place immediately after and
+before the monthly period.
+
+Quite a large family could easily result from quite a few sexual unions.
+For the rest the couple should be celibate. Any intercourse not having
+procreation as its intention is "sexual union as an end in itself," and
+therefore by inference condemned by the Lambeth Conference.
+
+Think of the facts of life. Let us recall our own love--our marriage,
+our honeymoon. Has not sexual union over and over again been the
+physical expression of our love without thought or intention of
+procreation? Have we all been wrong? Or is it that the Church lacks that
+vital contact with the realities of life which accounts for the gulf
+between her and the people?
+
+The love envisaged by the Lambeth Conference is an invertebrate joyless
+thing--not worth the having. Fortunately it is in contrast to the real
+thing as practised by clergy and laity.
+
+Fancy an ardent lover (and what respect have you for a lover who is not
+ardent)--the type you would like your daughter to marry--virile,
+ambitious, chivalrous--a man who means to work hard and love hard. Fancy
+putting before these lovers--eager and expectant of the joys before
+them--the Lambeth picture of marriage. Do you expect to gain their
+confidence?
+
+They ask for bread; you give them a stone.
+
+
+                       ALLEGIANCE OF THE YOUNG.
+
+Authority, and I include under authority the Churches, will never gain
+the allegiance of the young unless their attitude is more frank, more
+courageous, and more in accordance with realities.
+
+And to tell you the truth, I am not sure that too much prudent
+self-restraint suits love and its purport. Romance and deliberate
+self-control do not, to my mind, rhyme very well together. A touch of
+madness to begin with does no harm. Heaven knows life sobers it soon
+enough. If you don't start life with a head of steam you won't get far.
+
+Sex love has, apart from parenthood, a purport of its own. It is
+something to prize and to cherish for its own sake. It is an essential
+part of health and happiness in marriage. And now, if you will allow me,
+I will carry this argument a step further.
+
+If sexual union is a gift of God it is worth learning how to use it.
+Within its own sphere it should be cultivated so as to bring physical
+satisfaction to both, not merely to one. The attainment of mutual and
+reciprocal joy in their relations constitutes a firm bond between two
+people and makes for durability of their marriage tie.
+
+Reciprocity in sex love is the physical counterpart of sympathy. More
+marriages fail from inadequate and clumsy sex love than from too much
+sex love.
+
+
+                     PASSION A WORTHY POSSESSION.
+
+The lack of proper understanding is in no small measure responsible for
+the unfulfilment of (connubial) happiness, and every degree of
+discontent and unhappiness may from this cause occur, leading to rupture
+of the marriage bond itself. How often do medical men have to deal with
+these difficulties, and how fortunate if such difficulties are disclosed
+early enough in married life to be rectified. Otherwise how tragic may
+be their consequences, and many a case in the Divorce Court has thus
+had its origin.
+
+To the foregoing contentions it might be objected you are encouraging
+passion. My reply would be, passion is a worthy possession; most men,
+who are any good, are capable of passion.
+
+You all enjoy ardent and passionate love in art and literature. Why not
+give it a place in real life?
+
+Why some people look askance at passion is because they are confusing it
+with sensuality. Sex love without passion is a poor, lifeless thing.
+Sensuality, on the other hand, is on a level with gluttony--a physical
+excess--detached from sentiment, chivalry, or tenderness.
+
+It is just as important to give sex love its place as to avoid its over
+emphasis. Its real and effective restraints are those imposed by a
+loving and sympathetic companionship, by the privileges of parenthood,
+the exacting claims of career and that civic sense which prompts men to
+do social service.
+
+Now that the revision of the Prayer Book is receiving consideration, I
+should like to suggest, with great respect, that an addition be made to
+the objects of marriage in the Marriage Service, in these terms: "The
+complete realisation of the love of this man and this woman, the one for
+the other."
+
+
+                            BIRTH CONTROL.
+
+And now, if you will permit me, I will pass on to consider the
+all-important question of Birth Control.
+
+First, I will put forward with confidence the view that birth control
+is here to stay. It is an established fact, and for good or evil has to
+be accepted. Although the extent of its application can be and is being
+modified, no denunciations will abolish it.
+
+Despite the influence and condemnations of the Church, it has been
+practised in France for well over half a century, and in Belgium and
+other Catholic countries is extending. And if the Roman Catholic Church,
+with its compact organisation, its power of authority, and its
+discipline, cannot check this procedure, is it likely that Protestant
+Churches will be able to do so?--for Protestant religions depend for
+their strength on the conviction and esteem they establish in the heads
+and hearts of their people.
+
+The reasons which lead parents to limit their offspring are sometimes
+selfish, but more often honourable and cogent. The desire to marry and
+to rear children well equipped for life's struggle, limited incomes, the
+cost of living, burdensome taxation, are forcible motives; and, further,
+amongst the educated classes there is the desire of women to take a part
+in life and their husband's careers, which is incompatible with
+oft-recurring pregnancies. Absence of birth control means late
+marriages, and these carry with them irregular unions and all the
+baneful consequences.
+
+It is idle to decry illicit intercourse and interpose obstacles to
+marriage at one and the same time.
+
+But, say many whose opinions are entitled to our respect: "Yes--birth
+control may be necessary, but the only birth control which is
+justifiable is voluntary abstention from connubial relations." Such
+abstention would be either ineffective or, if effective, impracticable
+and harmful to health and happiness.
+
+To limit the size of a family to, say, four children during a
+child-bearing period of 20-25 years, would be to impose on a married
+couple an amount of abstention which for long periods would almost be
+equivalent to celibacy, and when one remembers that owing to economic
+reasons the abstention would have to be most strict during the earlier
+years of married life when desires are strongest, I maintain a demand is
+being made which for the mass of people it is impossible to meet; that
+the endeavours to meet it would impose a strain hostile to health and
+happiness and carry with them grave dangers to morals.
+
+Imagine a young married couple in love with each other--the parents, say,
+of one child, who feel they cannot afford another child for, say, three
+years--being expected to occupy the same room and to abstain for two
+years. The thing is preposterous. You might as well put water by the
+side of a man suffering from thirst and tell him not to drink it.
+
+And further than that, if the efforts to abstain are seriously made the
+strain involved is harmful to the health and temper--if the efforts do
+not succeed the minds of husband and wife are troubled by doubts and
+anxieties which are damaging to their intimate relationships. And,
+moreover, if this harmful restraint succeeds in preventing conception
+there eventuates the inevitable prevalence of sex excitement followed
+by abortive and half-realised satisfaction, and the enhanced risk of the
+man or woman yielding to outside sex temptations.
+
+No--birth control by abstention is either ineffective, or, if effective,
+is pernicious.
+
+
+                      THE HOME'S TRUE INTERESTS.
+
+I will next consider Artificial Control. The forces in modern life which
+make for birth control are so strong that only convincing reasons will
+make people desist from it. It is said to be unnatural and intrinsically
+immoral. This word unnatural perplexes me. Civilisation involves the
+chaining of natural forces and their conversion to man's will and uses.
+Much of medicine and surgery consists of means to overcome nature.
+
+When anaesthetics were first used at childbirth there was an outcry on
+the part of many worthy and religious people that their use under such
+circumstances was unnatural and wicked, because God meant woman to
+suffer the struggles and pains of childbirth. Now we all admit it is
+right to control the process of childbirth, and to save the mother as
+much pain as possible. It is no more unnatural to control conception by
+artificial means than to control childbirth by artificial means. Surely
+the whole question turns on whether these artificial means are for the
+good or harm of the individual and the community! Do all contraceptive
+measures damage the individual? The answer to that depends on the
+purpose for which they are used. If they are used to render unions
+childless or inadequately fruitful they are harmful. There are grounds
+for thinking that unrealisation of maternity favours sterility.
+
+Generally speaking, birth control before the first child is inadvisable.
+On the other hand, the justifiable use of birth control is to limit the
+number of children, and to spread out their arrival in such a way as to
+serve their true interests and those of their home.
+
+That such applications of birth control produce no harm receives support
+from the study of the numbers and distribution of the children of the
+professional classes.
+
+The advantage and disadvantage of this or that contraceptive is a
+technical matter for the doctors to determine.
+
+Again, it has been stated that artificial control is harmful because it
+leads to excessive indulgence. Experience and evidence are against this
+being a fact.
+
+Contraceptives by the time and circumstance of their application involve
+prudence and control. The proper and efficient restraints on undue
+sexual indulgence are to be found in mutual consideration, sympathy, and
+tenderness and the pressing claims of life's duties.
+
+The sensualist who is not deterred from excess by these considerations
+will be completely careless whether his indulgence results in children
+or not--he is moved by his selfish impulses alone.
+
+
+                         CAREFUL DISTINCTION.
+
+Once more, careful distinction needs to be made between the use and the
+bad effects of the abuse of birth control. That its abuse produces harm
+I fully agree--harm to parents, to families, and to the nation. But abuse
+is not a just condemnation of legitimate use. Over-eating,
+over-drinking, over-smoking, over-sleeping, over-work do not carry
+condemnation of eating, drinking, smoking, sleeping, work.
+
+But the evils of excessive birth control are very real. There is first
+the individual--every woman is better in body and mind for child
+bearing--the periodic completion of the maternal cycle brings out the
+best, preserves youth and maintains vital contact with life. Maternity
+gives to woman her most beautiful attributes. Fancy being mad enough to
+suppress it! If one watches the woman with one child and all maternity
+finished before thirty, and compare her at forty with the woman of the
+same age who has had, say, four children at proper intervals, who
+usually has the advantage in preservation of youth and beauty? Not the
+former.
+
+On the other hand, it must be admitted that baby after baby every year
+or eighteen months wears and often exhausts a woman's strength. The
+inference is that the use of birth control is good, its abuse bad.
+
+Next, the children. Is it even necessary to refer to the failure of the
+single-child household? Poor little thing! Surrounded by over-anxious
+parents, spoilt, no children to play with, bored stiff by adults. And
+then, perhaps, illness, and it may be death--and when it is too late to
+produce another.
+
+Of the many tragedies I met in the war none exceeded that attaching to
+the loss of only children. It often means the end of all things; nothing
+to live for--just blank despair.
+
+
+                         THE WAY OF HAPPINESS.
+
+The parents and the home both need children of varying ages. That is the
+way of happiness and enduring youth.
+
+And lastly, the national aspect may be stated very briefly. If England
+is not to lose her place in the world her population must be maintained.
+Unless fathers and mothers produce an average of over three children
+that population will not be maintained.
+
+If you say to a young husband and wife with their one or two children,
+"Do you like to contemplate that when you both leave life your country
+will, through your action, be worse off than when you entered life?"
+that is an appeal to patriotism, and likely to be a successful appeal.
+
+There are signs of a public opinion forming which will condemn the
+selfishness of marriages without their proper heritage of children, but
+such public opinion will not be strengthened by an indiscriminate
+condemnation of birth control.
+
+May I end my speech with an appeal that the Church approaches this
+question, in common with certain others, in the light of modern
+knowledge and the needs of a new world, and unhampered by traditions
+which have outworn their usefulness?
+
+
+
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+          THE WHITEFRIARS PRESS, LTD., LONDON AND TONBRIDGE.
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