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diff --git a/26837.txt b/26837.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..41dd8fb --- /dev/null +++ b/26837.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1021 @@ +Project Gutenberg's Love--Marriage--Birth Control, by Bertrand Dawson + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Love--Marriage--Birth Control + Being a Speech delivered at the Church Congress at + Birmingham, October, 1921 + +Author: Bertrand Dawson + +Release Date: October 7, 2008 [EBook #26837] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOVE--MARRIAGE--BIRTH CONTROL *** + + + + +Produced by Bryan Ness, Markus Brenner and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + + LOVE--MARRIAGE-- + BIRTH CONTROL + + + Being a Speech delivered at the Church + Congress at Birmingham, October, 1921: + + + WITH A FOREWORD + + BY + LORD DAWSON OF PENN + + + [Illustration: logo] + + + London + NISBET & CO. LTD. + 22 BERNERS STREET, W.1 + + + + _First Published January, 1922_ + _Reprinted January, 1922_ + _Reprinted February, 1922_ + _Reprinted April, 1922_ + + _All rights reserved_ + + + + + FOREWORD + + +At the Church Congress held this autumn at Birmingham I was honoured by +an invitation to speak on "Sexual Relationships." + +The subject-matter of that speech has aroused widespread interest and +some controversy. It is being published in response to numerous requests +and because most of the reports, being of necessity condensed, +inadequately and even in some instances incorrectly set forth the views +I endeavoured to champion; for any speech on a subject so difficult to +handle needs to be read in its entirety if misapprehensions are to be +avoided. + +And first, may I thank numerous correspondents; and those in +disagreement equally with those in agreement with me. One and all they +bear testimony, if indeed such were needed, to how widespread and +responsible is the interest on this question, and therefore to the +wisdom of its full consideration. Amongst the letters are intimate human +documents which pathetically disclose, as does professional experience, +how frequently happiness is marred by ignorance of either the principles +or the methods which should condition the true conception of sexual +relationships. + +I elected to deal with these relationships in their healthy rather than +their morbid aspects, because the study of health is a sure way to +lessen disease. Mere denunciations of evil serve but small purpose. The +aim of statesmanship is rather to seek out causes and ponder over +remedies, and prominent among remedies is surely the study of the +significance and purport of sex love in a well-ordered and Christian +community and provision for its healthy outlet. To this the first part +of my speech was devoted. The view there upheld has brought forth a +large measure of agreement and no reasoned disagreement. + +The second part of my speech dealing with birth control (or what in +strict accuracy should be called conception control) has aroused more +controversy, but I venture to think that some, at least, of the +criticism directed against my argument will disappear with a perusal of +this full text of my speech. Therein will be found condemnation of +infertile marriages and a strong plea that children are essential to the +health and happiness of man and woman, are necessary to each other and +of vital importance to the nation. + +The difference between my critics and myself is not as to the vital +necessity of the family following marriage, but rather this--they would +like to see the large families prevalent fifty years ago restored (and +where means and circumstances are favourable, such large families may be +the source of much happiness); whereas under present-day conditions I +should regard them as seldom attainable and desirable, and would favour +smaller families of children born at predetermined intervals. + +A married couple who have produced four children in twenty years cannot +be said to have ignored the precept "be fruitful and multiply and +replenish the earth" because they have so selected the times for the +conceptions of their children as to enable them to give those children a +better upbringing rather than have selfishly left the sequence of their +offspring to blind chance. + +The argument that the nation should foster large families in order more +quickly to people the untenanted portions of the Empire, and so add to +the strength and wealth of the British Dominions, requires serious +attention, not in isolation, but in conjunction with other +considerations, and calls forth varying opinions from economists. + +On the other hand, emigration into _foreign_ lands would seem to be a +source of weakness to a nation. The feeding, clothing and educating of a +young Briton cost the nation a definite sum of money, say, L400; if at +the age of twenty, when he is ready to produce, that young Briton +emigrates to a foreign state, he is a definite loss to the country of +his birth and the country of his adoption is the gainer. + +From another standpoint the criticism is made that I have not urged the +paramount necessity of diminishing the population of these islands. With +the economic soundness of this view others are better fitted to deal, +but no economic considerations would outweigh the importance of child +life inspiring the homes of the land, and if the number and sequence of +children can be regulated by the parents' circumstances, these homes +will increase in number, will start when parents are younger and confer +greater benefits alike on the family and the State. If need be, the +State could grant a progressive rebate of taxation, and educational +facilities for each of three children born after the second and where +the father is twenty-five years of age or upwards. + +It is held by some that artificial birth control is contrary to +Christian morals. This is the view firmly held by the Roman Catholic +Church, and since the governance of the Roman communion is based on +"authority," its decisions are binding on its members and command our +respect. But pronouncements of Protestant communions do not owe their +force to "authority," but to the conviction they carry in the minds and +consciences of their people, and no clear scriptural sanction for the +condemnation of birth control has been given, nor does the report of the +Lambeth Conference vouchsafe any reasons why it is physically and +morally harmful. + +A distinguished prelate of our Church has characterised the views herein +set forth as "very unguarded."[1] If by that expression he means +"careless," he cannot have done me the honour of reading my speech, +which, whatever its demerits, bears ample evidence of carefully +considered thought and expression. If by "unguarded" he means +"outspoken," I will plead justification. For is it not time that a +question which deeply concerns not only the thought, but the practice of +the thinking portions of communities should be fully considered and its +strength and its weakness disclosed by full discussion? The world looks +to its leaders for reasoned guidance, not for assertion which may be but +the husk of a thought that has gone. What is wanted is reasoned +consideration, not unreasoned condemnation. For churchmen and statesmen +alike, opportunism helps in situations which are small, but never in +those which are large; there clarity of principle alone stands forth as +a beacon to light the path. + + [Footnote 1: Diocesan Conference at York.] + +The fear that discussion of this vital problem will endanger morality +surely loses sight of the fact of knowledge being so fundamental to our +well-being, that incidental dangers encountered along its path must not +deter us from its continued pursuit. + +Moreover, it will be noticed that I have discriminated between the +principle of birth control and the methods of its application, the +latter being preferably determined by the advice of the family doctor +rather than by the perusal of books in general circulation. + +The attitude of mind of the Church towards the problems of sexual +relationships is part of a larger question, viz., the ever-widening gap +between the formal teaching of the Church and the actual belief of the +present generation, including many who by baptism and early training +belong to her fold. + +This gap between authority and actuality of belief imposes a strain on +intellectual integrity and weakens the foundations of a real allegiance. +For those of us who are of mature years the gap is bridged by the tender +associations of our childhood and the memory of parents, for whom no +such gap existed, and whose faith and character have left indelible +impressions on our lives. But for the youth of to-day no such bridge +exists. The War has caused a hiatus and thought has broken with +tradition. Thus, youth is no longer willing to accept forms and formulae +only on account of their age. So it has set out on a voyage of inquiry, +and finding some things which are doubtful and others which are +insufficient, is searching for forms of expression more in harmony with +the realities of life and knowledge. Although becoming estranged in +thought from the Church, it is possessed of deep religious feeling and, +firm on the rock foundation of faith, is trying to build a +superstructure more in accord with the progress of revelation, not only +in religion, but in science, and the needs of the world in which it +moves and has its being. + + + Far be it, that I should write thee sin or blame, + Or think thee unbefitting holiest place, + Perpetual fountain of domestic sweets, + Whose bed is undefiled and chaste pronounced, + Present, or past, as saints and patriarchs used. + Here Love his golden shafts employs, here lights + His constant lamp, and waves his purple wings, + Reigns here and revels; not in the bought smile + Of harlots, loveless, joyless, unendeared, + Casual fruition; nor in court-amours, + Mixed dance, or wanton mask, or midnight ball, + Or serenate, which the starved lover sings + To his proud fair, best quitted with disdain. + These, lulled by nightingales, embracing slept, + And on their naked limbs the flowery roof + Showered roses, which the morn repaired. + + _Paradise Lost,_ + Book IV. + + + + + LOVE--MARRIAGE--BIRTH CONTROL + + +May I make certain preliminary observations? Painters and poets depict +Love to us in golden hues and arouse in us happy and sympathetic, and, I +trust, reminiscent response, helping us to realise that life without the +love of man and woman would be like the world without sunshine. + +Though, therefore, the social student in his approach to the subject is +not helped by the beauties of colour and song, it behoves him to avoid +undue solemnity, and still more an air of portentous foreboding. + +In each age customs have been deplored as heralds of evil, but the evils +have seldom materialised. + +One of the difficulties of this subject is that those who are called +upon to give counsel are apt to forget the strength of the forces to be +dealt with, for it is during youth especially that sex attractions are +so powerful, and, may I add, so delightful. Middle-aged people may be +divided into three classes. + +Those who are still young. + +Those who have forgotten they were young. + +Those who were never young. + +And it is with the first class before my eyes that I am privileged to +address this audience. + +I will confine my attention to the sexual relationships between +unrelated adult people in youth and prime. + +It is common ground that sex love between such people should be the +physical expression of a lasting affection, and be so intimately blended +with the feelings of helpfulness, sympathy, and intimate friendship as +to form a union of body, mind and spirit. It further should be +associated with the love of and desire for children. + +This complex is best secured by the institution of marriage. + +All its constituent features, except two, are vividly realised in +intimate friendship, and above all, in that unique bond between mother +and son which with some of us is the most wonderful thing in our lives. + +Its two exclusively distinctive features are: _sex love_ and _child +love_. + +These are the real problems before us to-day, particularly the former, +and if in these remarks I seem to concentrate on the problems of sex +love, be it understood I do so from a desire to save the time of the +meeting and not because I think sex love should reign alone in +unbalanced supremacy. + +And by sex love I mean that love which involves intercourse or the +desire for such. + +It is necessary to my argument to emphasise that sex love is one of the +clamant dominating forces of the world. Not only does history show the +destinies of nations and dynasties determined by its sway--but here in +our every-day life we see its influence, direct or indirect, forceful +and ubiquitous beyond aught else. + + + AN IMPERIOUS INSTINCT. + +Any statesmanlike review, therefore, will recognise that here we have an +instinct--so fundamental, so imperious--that its influence is a fact which +has to be accepted: suppress it you cannot. You may guide it into +healthy channels--but an outlet it will have, and if that outlet is +inadequate or unduly obstructed, irregular channels will be forced. + +We uphold the control of sex love outside marriage by the individual--and +that we are right in so doing is incontestable. But let us realise that +in practice self-control has a breaking point, and that if in any +community marriage is difficult or late of attainment, an increase of +irregular unions will inevitably result. + +That the Church recognises this is shown by the statement that marriage +was instituted to prevent sin. In considering the problem of illicit +intercourse and its attendant evils the social conditions that make for +a wholesome life are of more efficiency than Acts of Parliament to +suppress vice. + +My desire, however, on this occasion is rather to consider sex love in +relation to marriage. The first point I wish to make is that people need +more knowledge of the scientific bearings of sex relations and more +clearly defined guidance of their rightful purport and practice. They +are imperfectly provided with both. We talk about instructing the young +when we are neither clear nor agreed amongst ourselves, and the young +are endangered as much by crudity as by absence of instruction. + +All are agreed that union of body should be in association with union of +mind and soul; all are agreed that the rearing of children is a +pre-eminent purpose. But what purport is there beyond these? Here there +is a lack of precision. + + + THE CHURCH AND MARRIAGE. + +What does the Church service say? It says "Marriage was ordained for a +remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication; that such persons as have +not the gift of continency might marry and keep themselves undefiled +members of Christ's body." + +Now this is a very negative blessing. It implies that where +unfortunately people cannot be continent that marriage gives the best +way out--enables them to get relief within the pale of virtue. This +attitude affords to sex love no positive purport or merit of its own, +and is in striking conflict with the facts of life through the +ages--facts which carry social approval. + +The recent pronouncement of the Church as set forth in Resolution 68 of +the Lambeth Conference seems to imply condemnation of sex love as such, +and to imply sanction of sex love _only_ as a means to an end--namely, +procreation, though it must be admitted it lacks that clearness of +direction which in so vital a matter one would have expected. It almost +reminds me of one of those diplomatic formulae which is not intended to +be too clear. Allow me to quote from it:-- + +"In opposition to the teaching which under the name of science and +religion encourages married people in the deliberate cultivation of +sexual union as an end in itself, we steadfastly uphold what must always +be regarded as the governing consideration of Christian marriage. One is +the primary purpose for which marriage exists--namely, the continuation +of the race through the gift and heritage of children; the other is the +paramount importance in married life of deliberate and thoughtful +self-control." + + + THE FACTS OF LIFE. + +Now the plain meaning of this statement is that sexual union should take +place for the sole purpose of procreation, that sexual union as _an_ end +in itself--not, mind you, _the_ only end--(there we should all agree), but +sexual union as _an_ end in itself is to be condemned. + +That means that sexual intercourse should rightly take place _only_ for +the purpose of procreation. + +Now the large majority of conceptions take place immediately after and +before the monthly period. + +Quite a large family could easily result from quite a few sexual unions. +For the rest the couple should be celibate. Any intercourse not having +procreation as its intention is "sexual union as an end in itself," and +therefore by inference condemned by the Lambeth Conference. + +Think of the facts of life. Let us recall our own love--our marriage, +our honeymoon. Has not sexual union over and over again been the +physical expression of our love without thought or intention of +procreation? Have we all been wrong? Or is it that the Church lacks that +vital contact with the realities of life which accounts for the gulf +between her and the people? + +The love envisaged by the Lambeth Conference is an invertebrate joyless +thing--not worth the having. Fortunately it is in contrast to the real +thing as practised by clergy and laity. + +Fancy an ardent lover (and what respect have you for a lover who is not +ardent)--the type you would like your daughter to marry--virile, +ambitious, chivalrous--a man who means to work hard and love hard. Fancy +putting before these lovers--eager and expectant of the joys before +them--the Lambeth picture of marriage. Do you expect to gain their +confidence? + +They ask for bread; you give them a stone. + + + ALLEGIANCE OF THE YOUNG. + +Authority, and I include under authority the Churches, will never gain +the allegiance of the young unless their attitude is more frank, more +courageous, and more in accordance with realities. + +And to tell you the truth, I am not sure that too much prudent +self-restraint suits love and its purport. Romance and deliberate +self-control do not, to my mind, rhyme very well together. A touch of +madness to begin with does no harm. Heaven knows life sobers it soon +enough. If you don't start life with a head of steam you won't get far. + +Sex love has, apart from parenthood, a purport of its own. It is +something to prize and to cherish for its own sake. It is an essential +part of health and happiness in marriage. And now, if you will allow me, +I will carry this argument a step further. + +If sexual union is a gift of God it is worth learning how to use it. +Within its own sphere it should be cultivated so as to bring physical +satisfaction to both, not merely to one. The attainment of mutual and +reciprocal joy in their relations constitutes a firm bond between two +people and makes for durability of their marriage tie. + +Reciprocity in sex love is the physical counterpart of sympathy. More +marriages fail from inadequate and clumsy sex love than from too much +sex love. + + + PASSION A WORTHY POSSESSION. + +The lack of proper understanding is in no small measure responsible for +the unfulfilment of (connubial) happiness, and every degree of +discontent and unhappiness may from this cause occur, leading to rupture +of the marriage bond itself. How often do medical men have to deal with +these difficulties, and how fortunate if such difficulties are disclosed +early enough in married life to be rectified. Otherwise how tragic may +be their consequences, and many a case in the Divorce Court has thus +had its origin. + +To the foregoing contentions it might be objected you are encouraging +passion. My reply would be, passion is a worthy possession; most men, +who are any good, are capable of passion. + +You all enjoy ardent and passionate love in art and literature. Why not +give it a place in real life? + +Why some people look askance at passion is because they are confusing it +with sensuality. Sex love without passion is a poor, lifeless thing. +Sensuality, on the other hand, is on a level with gluttony--a physical +excess--detached from sentiment, chivalry, or tenderness. + +It is just as important to give sex love its place as to avoid its over +emphasis. Its real and effective restraints are those imposed by a +loving and sympathetic companionship, by the privileges of parenthood, +the exacting claims of career and that civic sense which prompts men to +do social service. + +Now that the revision of the Prayer Book is receiving consideration, I +should like to suggest, with great respect, that an addition be made to +the objects of marriage in the Marriage Service, in these terms: "The +complete realisation of the love of this man and this woman, the one for +the other." + + + BIRTH CONTROL. + +And now, if you will permit me, I will pass on to consider the +all-important question of Birth Control. + +First, I will put forward with confidence the view that birth control +is here to stay. It is an established fact, and for good or evil has to +be accepted. Although the extent of its application can be and is being +modified, no denunciations will abolish it. + +Despite the influence and condemnations of the Church, it has been +practised in France for well over half a century, and in Belgium and +other Catholic countries is extending. And if the Roman Catholic Church, +with its compact organisation, its power of authority, and its +discipline, cannot check this procedure, is it likely that Protestant +Churches will be able to do so?--for Protestant religions depend for +their strength on the conviction and esteem they establish in the heads +and hearts of their people. + +The reasons which lead parents to limit their offspring are sometimes +selfish, but more often honourable and cogent. The desire to marry and +to rear children well equipped for life's struggle, limited incomes, the +cost of living, burdensome taxation, are forcible motives; and, further, +amongst the educated classes there is the desire of women to take a part +in life and their husband's careers, which is incompatible with +oft-recurring pregnancies. Absence of birth control means late +marriages, and these carry with them irregular unions and all the +baneful consequences. + +It is idle to decry illicit intercourse and interpose obstacles to +marriage at one and the same time. + +But, say many whose opinions are entitled to our respect: "Yes--birth +control may be necessary, but the only birth control which is +justifiable is voluntary abstention from connubial relations." Such +abstention would be either ineffective or, if effective, impracticable +and harmful to health and happiness. + +To limit the size of a family to, say, four children during a +child-bearing period of 20-25 years, would be to impose on a married +couple an amount of abstention which for long periods would almost be +equivalent to celibacy, and when one remembers that owing to economic +reasons the abstention would have to be most strict during the earlier +years of married life when desires are strongest, I maintain a demand is +being made which for the mass of people it is impossible to meet; that +the endeavours to meet it would impose a strain hostile to health and +happiness and carry with them grave dangers to morals. + +Imagine a young married couple in love with each other--the parents, say, +of one child, who feel they cannot afford another child for, say, three +years--being expected to occupy the same room and to abstain for two +years. The thing is preposterous. You might as well put water by the +side of a man suffering from thirst and tell him not to drink it. + +And further than that, if the efforts to abstain are seriously made the +strain involved is harmful to the health and temper--if the efforts do +not succeed the minds of husband and wife are troubled by doubts and +anxieties which are damaging to their intimate relationships. And, +moreover, if this harmful restraint succeeds in preventing conception +there eventuates the inevitable prevalence of sex excitement followed +by abortive and half-realised satisfaction, and the enhanced risk of the +man or woman yielding to outside sex temptations. + +No--birth control by abstention is either ineffective, or, if effective, +is pernicious. + + + THE HOME'S TRUE INTERESTS. + +I will next consider Artificial Control. The forces in modern life which +make for birth control are so strong that only convincing reasons will +make people desist from it. It is said to be unnatural and intrinsically +immoral. This word unnatural perplexes me. Civilisation involves the +chaining of natural forces and their conversion to man's will and uses. +Much of medicine and surgery consists of means to overcome nature. + +When anaesthetics were first used at childbirth there was an outcry on +the part of many worthy and religious people that their use under such +circumstances was unnatural and wicked, because God meant woman to +suffer the struggles and pains of childbirth. Now we all admit it is +right to control the process of childbirth, and to save the mother as +much pain as possible. It is no more unnatural to control conception by +artificial means than to control childbirth by artificial means. Surely +the whole question turns on whether these artificial means are for the +good or harm of the individual and the community! Do all contraceptive +measures damage the individual? The answer to that depends on the +purpose for which they are used. If they are used to render unions +childless or inadequately fruitful they are harmful. There are grounds +for thinking that unrealisation of maternity favours sterility. + +Generally speaking, birth control before the first child is inadvisable. +On the other hand, the justifiable use of birth control is to limit the +number of children, and to spread out their arrival in such a way as to +serve their true interests and those of their home. + +That such applications of birth control produce no harm receives support +from the study of the numbers and distribution of the children of the +professional classes. + +The advantage and disadvantage of this or that contraceptive is a +technical matter for the doctors to determine. + +Again, it has been stated that artificial control is harmful because it +leads to excessive indulgence. Experience and evidence are against this +being a fact. + +Contraceptives by the time and circumstance of their application involve +prudence and control. The proper and efficient restraints on undue +sexual indulgence are to be found in mutual consideration, sympathy, and +tenderness and the pressing claims of life's duties. + +The sensualist who is not deterred from excess by these considerations +will be completely careless whether his indulgence results in children +or not--he is moved by his selfish impulses alone. + + + CAREFUL DISTINCTION. + +Once more, careful distinction needs to be made between the use and the +bad effects of the abuse of birth control. That its abuse produces harm +I fully agree--harm to parents, to families, and to the nation. But abuse +is not a just condemnation of legitimate use. Over-eating, +over-drinking, over-smoking, over-sleeping, over-work do not carry +condemnation of eating, drinking, smoking, sleeping, work. + +But the evils of excessive birth control are very real. There is first +the individual--every woman is better in body and mind for child +bearing--the periodic completion of the maternal cycle brings out the +best, preserves youth and maintains vital contact with life. Maternity +gives to woman her most beautiful attributes. Fancy being mad enough to +suppress it! If one watches the woman with one child and all maternity +finished before thirty, and compare her at forty with the woman of the +same age who has had, say, four children at proper intervals, who +usually has the advantage in preservation of youth and beauty? Not the +former. + +On the other hand, it must be admitted that baby after baby every year +or eighteen months wears and often exhausts a woman's strength. The +inference is that the use of birth control is good, its abuse bad. + +Next, the children. Is it even necessary to refer to the failure of the +single-child household? Poor little thing! Surrounded by over-anxious +parents, spoilt, no children to play with, bored stiff by adults. And +then, perhaps, illness, and it may be death--and when it is too late to +produce another. + +Of the many tragedies I met in the war none exceeded that attaching to +the loss of only children. It often means the end of all things; nothing +to live for--just blank despair. + + + THE WAY OF HAPPINESS. + +The parents and the home both need children of varying ages. That is the +way of happiness and enduring youth. + +And lastly, the national aspect may be stated very briefly. If England +is not to lose her place in the world her population must be maintained. +Unless fathers and mothers produce an average of over three children +that population will not be maintained. + +If you say to a young husband and wife with their one or two children, +"Do you like to contemplate that when you both leave life your country +will, through your action, be worse off than when you entered life?" +that is an appeal to patriotism, and likely to be a successful appeal. + +There are signs of a public opinion forming which will condemn the +selfishness of marriages without their proper heritage of children, but +such public opinion will not be strengthened by an indiscriminate +condemnation of birth control. + +May I end my speech with an appeal that the Church approaches this +question, in common with certain others, in the light of modern +knowledge and the needs of a new world, and unhampered by traditions +which have outworn their usefulness? + + + + PRINTED IN GREAT BRITAIN BY + THE WHITEFRIARS PRESS, LTD., LONDON AND TONBRIDGE. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Love--Marriage--Birth Control, by Bertrand Dawson + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOVE--MARRIAGE--BIRTH CONTROL *** + +***** This file should be named 26837.txt or 26837.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/6/8/3/26837/ + +Produced by Bryan Ness, Markus Brenner and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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