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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Bad Child's Book of Beasts, by Hilaire Belloc
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Bad Child's Book of Beasts
+
+Author: Hilaire Belloc
+
+Illustrator: Ian Basil Gawaine Temple, Lord. Blackwood
+
+Release Date: November 6, 2008 [EBook #27175]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BAD CHILD'S BOOK OF BEASTS ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Chris Curnow, Joseph Cooper, some images
+courtesy of The Internet Archive and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+          THE
+          BAD CHILD'S
+          BOOK OF
+          BEASTS
+
+          Verses by
+          H. BELLOC
+
+          Pictures by
+          B. T. B.
+
+          DUCKWORTH,
+          3 HENRIETTA STREET, COVENT GARDEN
+
+          Child! do not throw this book about;
+            Refrain from the unholy pleasure
+          Of cutting all the pictures out!
+            Preserve it as your chiefest treasure.
+
+          Child, have you never heard it said
+            That you are heir to all the ages?
+          Why, then, your hands were never made
+            To tear these beautiful thick pages!
+
+          Your little hands were made to take
+            The better things and leave the worse ones.
+          They also may be used to shake
+            The Massive Paws of Elder Persons.
+
+          And when your prayers complete the day,
+            Darling, your little tiny hands
+          Were also made, I think, to pray
+            For men that lose their fairylands.
+
+
+         _Made and Printed in Great Britain by The Camelot
+         Press Limited, London and Southampton_
+
+
+
+
+DEDICATION
+
+
+          To
+
+          Master EVELYN BELL
+          Of Oxford
+
+          Evelyn Bell,
+          I love you well.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION
+
+
+          I CALL you bad, my little child,
+            Upon the title page,
+          Because a manner rude and wild
+            Is common at your age.
+
+          The Moral of this priceless work
+            (If rightly understood)
+          Will make you--from a little Turk--
+            Unnaturally good.
+
+          Do not as evil children do,
+          Who on the slightest grounds
+          Will imitate the Kangaroo,
+          With wild unmeaning bounds:
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          Do not as children badly bred,
+            Who eat like little Hogs,
+          And when they have to go to bed
+            Will whine like Puppy Dogs:
+
+          Who take their manners from the Ape,
+            Their habits from the Bear,
+          Indulge the loud unseemly jape,
+            And never brush their hair.
+
+          But so control your actions that
+            Your friends may all repeat.
+          'This child is dainty as the Cat,
+            And as the Owl discreet.'
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+The Yak
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          As a friend to the children
+                             commend me the Yak.
+            You will find it exactly the thing:
+          It will carry and fetch,
+                        you can ride on its back,
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          Or lead it about
+            with a string.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          The Tartar who dwells on the plains of Thibet
+            (A desolate region of snow)
+          Has for centuries made it a nursery pet,
+            And surely the Tartar should know!
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          Then tell your papa where the Yak can be got,
+            And if he is awfully rich
+          He will buy you the creature--
+          or else
+                  he will _not_.
+          (I cannot be positive which.)
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+The Polar Bear
+
+
+          The Polar Bear is unaware
+            Of cold that cuts me through:
+          For why? He has a coat of hair.
+            I wish I had one too!
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+The Lion
+
+
+          The Lion, the Lion, he dwells in the waste,
+          He has a big head and a very small waist;
+          But his shoulders are stark, and his jaws they are grim,
+          And a good little child will not play with him.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+The Tiger
+
+
+          The Tiger on the other hand, is kittenish and mild,
+          He makes a pretty playfellow for any little child;
+          And mothers of large families (who claim to common sense)
+          Will find a Tiger well repay the trouble and expense.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+The Dromedary
+
+
+          The Dromedary is a cheerful bird:
+          I cannot say the same about the Kurd.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+The Whale
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          The Whale that wanders round the Pole
+            Is not a table fish.
+          You cannot bake or boil him whole
+            Nor serve him in a dish;
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          But you may cut his blubber up
+              And melt it down for oil.
+          And so replace the colza bean
+            (A product of the soil).
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          These facts should all be noted down
+              And ruminated on,
+          By every boy in Oxford town
+              Who wants to be a Don.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+The Camel
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          "The Ship of the Desert."
+
+
+
+
+The Hippopotamus
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          I shoot the Hippopotamus
+            with bullets made of platinum,
+          Because if I use leaden ones
+                  his hide is sure to flatten 'em.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+The Dodo
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          The Dodo used to walk around,
+            And take the sun and air.
+          The sun yet warms his native ground--
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          The Dodo is not there!
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          The voice which used to squawk and squeak
+            Is now for ever dumb--
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          Yet may you see his bones and beak
+            All in the Mu-se-um.
+
+
+
+
+The Marmozet
+
+
+          The species Man and Marmozet
+            Are intimately linked;
+          The Marmozet survives as yet,
+            But Men are all extinct.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+The Camelopard
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          The Camelopard, it is said
+            By travellers (who never lie),
+          He cannot stretch out straight in bed
+            Because he is so high.
+          The clouds surround his lofty head,
+            His hornlets touch the sky.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          How shall
+            I hunt this quadruped?
+              I cannot tell!
+                            Not I!
+
+          (A picture of how people try
+          And fail to hit that head so high.)
+          I'll buy a little parachute
+          (A common parachute with wings),
+          I'll fill it full of arrowroot
+          And other necessary things,
+          And I will slay this fearful brute
+          With stones and sticks and guns and slings.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          (A picture of how people shoot
+          With comfort from a parachute.)
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+The Learned Fish
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          This learned Fish has not sufficient brains
+          To go into the water when it rains.
+
+
+
+
+The Elephant
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          When people call this beast to mind,
+              They marvel more and more
+          At such a +_LITTLE_+ tail behind,
+          So _LARGE_ a trunk before.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+The Big Baboon
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          The Big Baboon is found upon
+              The plains of Cariboo:
+          He goes about
+                        with nothing on
+          (A shocking thing to do).
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          But if he
+              dressed respectably
+          And let his whiskers grow,
+          How like this Big Baboon would be
+                 To Mister So-and-so!
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+The Rhinoceros
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          Rhinoceros, your hide looks all undone,
+          You do not take my fancy in the least:
+          You have a horn where other brutes have none:
+              Rhinoceros, you are an ugly beast.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+The Frog
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          Be kind and tender to the Frog,
+              And do not call him names,
+          As 'Slimy skin,' or 'Polly-wog,'
+              Or likewise 'Ugly James,'
+          Or 'Gap-a-grin,' or 'Toad-gone-wrong,'
+              Or 'Bill Bandy-knees':
+          The Frog is justly sensitive
+              To epithets like these.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          No animal will more repay
+              A treatment kind and fair;
+          At least
+                    so lonely people say
+          Who keep a frog (and, by the way,
+          They are extremely rare).
+
+[Illustration]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+          Oh! My!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Transcriber's Note: The original edition was well-illustrated. The
+illustrations were scattered amongst the poetry. For ease of
+readability, the poems have been put back together with every effort of
+retaining the original style.
+
+For the poem titled "The Elephant," a word in small-capitals is denoted
+by +. As usual, italics are indicated by _.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Bad Child's Book of Beasts, by Hilaire Belloc
+
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