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diff --git a/old/28637-8.txt b/old/28637-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1c7fb3e --- /dev/null +++ b/old/28637-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,16899 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Marriage of Elinor, by Margaret Oliphant + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Marriage of Elinor + +Author: Margaret Oliphant + +Release Date: April 29, 2009 [EBook #28637] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MARRIAGE OF ELINOR *** + + + + +Produced by Delphine Lettau and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Canada Team at http://www.pgdpcanada.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + + + + +THE MARRIAGE OF ELINOR + + +BY + +MRS. OLIPHANT + + +CHICAGO +W. B. CONKEY COMPANY + + + + +COPYRIGHT, 1891, +BY +UNITED STATES BOOK COMPANY + +[_All rights reserved._] + + + + +THE MARRIAGE OF ELINOR. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + + +John Tatham, barrister-at-law, received one summer morning as he sat at +breakfast the following letter. It was written in what was once known +distinctively as a lady's hand, in pointed characters, very fine and +delicate, and was to this effect:-- + + +"DEAR JOHN, Have you heard from Elinor of her new prospects and +intentions? I suppose she must have written to you on the subject. Do +you know anything of the man?... You know how hard it is to convince her +against her will of anything, and also how poorly gifted I am with the +power of convincing any one. And I don't know him, therefore can speak +with no authority. If you can do anything to clear things up, come and +do so. I am very anxious and more than doubtful; but her heart seems set +upon it. + +"Your affect. +"M. S. D." + + +Mr. Tatham was a well-built and vigorous man of five-and-thirty, with +health, good behaviour, and well-being in every line of his cheerful +countenance and every close curl of his brown hair. His hair was very +curly, and helped to give him the cheerful look which was one of his +chief characteristics. Nevertheless, when these innocent seeming words, +"Do you know the man?" which was more certainly demonstrative of +certain facts than had those facts been stated in the fullest detail, +met his eye, Mr. Tatham paused and laid down the letter with a start. +His ruddy colour paled for the moment, and he felt something which was +like the push or poke of a blunt but heavy weapon somewhere in the +regions of the heart. For the moment he felt that he could not read any +more. "Do you know the man?" He did not even ask what man in the +momentary sickness of his heart. Then he said to himself, almost +angrily, "Well!" and took up the letter again and read to the end. + +Well! of course it was a thing that he knew might happen any day, and +which he had expected to happen for the last four or five years. It was +nothing to him one way or another. Nothing could be more absurd than +that a hearty and strong young man in the full tide of his life and with +a good breakfast before him should receive a shock from that innocent +little letter as if he had been a sentimental woman. But the fact is +that he pushed his plate away with an exclamation of disgust and a +feeling that everything was bad and uneatable. He drank his tea, though +that also became suddenly bad too, full of tannin, like tea that has +stood too long, a thing about which John was very particular. He had +been half an hour later than usual this morning consequent on having +been an hour or two later than usual last night. These things have their +reward, and that very speedily; but as for the letter, what could that +have to do with the bad toasting of the bacon and the tannin in the tea? +"Do you know the man?" There was a sort of covert insult, too, in the +phraseology, as if no explanation was needed, as if he must know by +instinct what she meant--he who knew nothing about it, who did not know +there was a man at all! + +After a while he began to smile rather cynically to himself. He had got +up from the breakfast table, where everything was so bad, and had gone +to look out of one of the windows of his pleasant sitting-room. It was +in one of the wider ways of the Temple, and looked out upon various +houses with a pleasant misty light upon the redness of their old +brickwork, and a stretch of green grass and trees, which were scanty in +foliage, yet suited very well with the bright morning sun, which was not +particularly warm, but looked as if it were a good deal for effect and +not so very much for use. That thought floated across his mind with +others, and was of the same cynical complexion. It was very well for the +sun to shine, making the glistening poplars and plane-trees glow, and +warming all the mellow redness of the old houses, but what did he mean +by it? No warmth to speak of, only a fictitious gleam--a thing got up +for effect. And so was the affectionateness of woman--meaning nothing, +only an effect of warmth and geniality, nothing beyond that. As a matter +of fact, he reminded himself after a while that he had never wanted +anything beyond, neither asked for it, nor wished it. He had no desire +to change the conditions of his life: women never rested till they had +done so, manufacturing a new event, whatever it might be, pleased even +when they were not pleased, to have a novelty to announce. That, no +doubt, was the state of mind in which the lady who called herself his +aunt was: pleased to have something to tell him, to fire off her big +guns in his face, even though she was not at all pleased with the event +itself. But John Tatham, on the other hand, had desired nothing to +happen; things were very well as they were. He liked to have a place +where he could run down from Saturday to Monday whenever he pleased, and +where his visit was always a cheerful event for the womankind. He had +liked to take them all the news, to carry the picture-papers, quite a +load; to take down a new book for Elinor; to taste doubtfully his aunt's +wine, and tell her she had better let him choose it for her. It was a +very pleasant state of affairs: he wanted no change; not, certainly, +above everything, the intrusion of a stranger whose very existence had +been unknown to him until he was thus asked cynically, almost brutally, +"Do you know the man?" + +The hour came when John had to assume the costume of that order of +workers whom a persistent popular joke nicknames the "Devil's Own:"--that +is, he had to put on gown and wig and go off to the courts, where he was +envied of all the briefless as a man who for his age had a great deal to +do. He "devilled" for Mr. Asstewt, the great Chancery man, which was the +most excellent beginning: and he was getting into a little practice of +his own which was not to be sneezed at. But he did not find himself in a +satisfactory frame of mind to-day. He found himself asking the judge, +"Do you know anything of the man?" when it was his special business so +to bewilder that potentate with elaborate arguments that he should not +have time to consider whether he had ever heard of the particular man +before him. Thus it was evident that Mr. Tatham was completely _hors de +son assiette_, as the French say; upset and "out of it," according to +the equally vivid imagination of the English manufacturer of slang. John +Tatham was a very capable young lawyer on ordinary occasions, and it was +all the more remarkable that he should have been so confused in his mind +to-day. + +When he went back to his chambers in the evening, which was not until it +was time to dress for dinner, he saw a bulky letter lying on his table, +but avoided it as if it had been an overdue bill. He was engaged to +dine out, and had not much time: yet all the way, as he drove along the +streets, just as sunset was over and a subduing shade came over the +light, and that half-holiday look that comes with evening--he kept +thinking of the fat letter upon his table. Do you know anything of +the man? That would no longer be the refrain of his correspondent, +but some absurd strain of devotion and admiration of the man whom John +knew nothing of, not even his name. He wondered as he went along in his +hansom, and even between the courses at dinner, while he listened with +a smile, but without hearing a word, to what the lady next him was +saying--what she would tell him about this man? That he was everything +that was delightful, no doubt; handsome, of course; probably clever; and +that she was fond of him, confound the fellow! Elinor! to think that she +should come to that--a girl like her--to tell him, as if she was saying +that she had caught a cold or received a present, that she was in love +with a man! Good heavens! when one had thought her so much above +anything of that kind--a woman, above all women that ever were. + +"Not so much as that," John said to himself as he walked home. He always +preferred to walk home in the evening, and he was not going to change +his habit now out of any curiosity about Elinor's letter. Oh, not so +much as that! not above all women, or better than the rest, perhaps--but +different. He could not quite explain to himself how, except that he +had always known her to be Elinor and not another, which was a quite +sufficient explanation. And now it appeared that she was not different, +although she would still profess to be Elinor--a curious puzzle, which +his brain in its excited state was scarcely able to tackle. His thoughts +got somewhat confused and broken as he approached his chambers. He was +so near the letter now--a few minutes and he would no longer need to +wonder or speculate about it, but would know exactly what she said. He +turned and stood for a minute or so at the Temple gates, looking out +upon the busy Strand. It was still as lovely as a summer night could be +overhead, but down here it was--well, it was London, which is another +thing. The usual crowd was streaming by, coming into bright light as it +streamed past a brilliant shop window, then in the shade for another +moment, and emerging again. The faces that were suddenly lit up as they +passed--some handsome faces, pale in the light; some with heads hung +down, either in bad health or bad humour; some full of cares and troubles, +others airy and gay--caught his attention. Did any of them all know +anything of this man, he wondered--knowing how absurd a question it was. +Had any of them written to-day a letter full of explanations, of a +matter that could not be explained? There were faces with far more +tragic meaning in them than could be so easily explained as that--the +faces of men, alas! and women too, who were going to destruction as fast +as their hurrying feet could carry them; or else were languidly drifting +no one knew where--out of life altogether, out of all that was good in +life. John Tatham knew this very well too, and had it in him to do +anything a man could to stop the wanderers in their downward career. But +to-night he was thinking of none of these things. He was only wondering +how she would explain it, how she could explain it, what she would say; +and lingering to prolong his suspense, not to know too soon what it was. + +At last, however, as there is no delay but must come to an end one time +or another, he found himself at last in his room, in his smoking-coat +and slippers, divested of his stiff collar--at his ease, the windows +open upon the quiet of the Temple Gardens, a little fresh air breathing +in. He had taken all this trouble to secure ease for himself, to put +off a little the reading of the letter. Now the moment had come when +it would be absurd to delay any longer. It was so natural to see her +familiar handwriting--not a lady's hand, angular and pointed, like her +mother's, but the handwriting of her generation, which looks as if it +were full of character, until one perceives that it _is_ the writing of +the generation, and all the girls and boys write much the same. He took +time for this reflection still as he tore open the envelope. There were +two sheets very well filled, and written in at the corners, so that no +available spot was lost. "My dear old John," were the first words he +saw. He put down the letter and thought over the address. Well, she had +always called him so. He was old John when he was fourteen, to little +Elinor. They had always known each other like that--like brother and +sister. But not particularly like brother and sister--like cousins twice +removed, which is a more interesting tie in some particulars. And now +for the letter. + + +"MY DEAR OLD JOHN: I want to tell you myself of a great thing that has +happened to me--the very greatest thing that could happen in one's +life. Oh, John, dear old John, I feel as if I had nobody else I could +open my heart to; for mamma--well, mamma is mamma, a dear mother and a +good one; but you know she has her own ways of thinking----" + + +He put down the letter again with a rueful little laugh. "And have not I +my own ways of thinking, too?" he said to himself. + + +"Jack dear," continued the letter, "you must give me your sympathy, all +your sympathy. You never were in love, I suppose (oh, what an odious +way that is of putting it! but it spares one's feelings a little, for +even in writing it is too tremendous a thing to say quite gravely and +seriously, as one feels it). Dear John, I know you never were in love, +or you would have told me; but still----" + + +"Oh," he said to himself, with the merest suspicion of a little quiver +in his lip, which might, of course, have been a laugh, but, on the other +hand, might have been something else, "I never was--or I would have told +her--That's the way she looks at it." Then he took up the letter again. + + +"Because--I see nothing but persecution before me. It was only a week +ago that it happened, and we wanted to keep it quiet for a time; but +things get out in spite of all one can do--things of that sort, at +least. And, oh, dear Jack, fancy! I have got three letters already, all +warning me against him; raking up trifling things that have occurred +long ago, long before he met me, and holding them up before me like +scarecrows--telling me he is not worthy of me, and that I will be +wretched if I marry him, and other dreadful lies like that, which +show me quite plainly that they neither know him nor me, and that they +haven't eyes to see what he really is, nor minds to understand. But +though I see the folly of it and the wickedness of it, mamma does not. +She is ready to take other people's words; indeed, there is this to be +said for her, that she does not know him yet, and therefore cannot be +expected to be ready to take his own word before all. Dear Jack, my +heart is so full, and I have so much to tell you, and such perfect +confidence in your sympathy, and also in your insight and capacity to +see through all the lies and wicked stories which I foresee are going to +be poured upon us like a flood that--I don't know how to begin, I have +so many things to say. I know it is the heart of the season, and that +you are asked out every night in the week, and are so popular everywhere; +but if you could but come down from Saturday to Monday, and let me tell +you everything and show you his picture, and read you parts of his +letters, I know you would see how false and wrong it all is, and help me +to face it out with all those horrid people, and to bring round mamma. +You know her dreadful way of never giving an opinion, but just saying a +great deal worse, and leaving you to your own responsibility, which +nearly drives me mad even in little things--so you may suppose what it +does in this. Of course, she must see him, which is all I want, for I +know after she has had a half-hour's conversation with him that she will +be like me and will not believe a word--not one word. Therefore, Jack +dear, come, oh, come! I have always turned to you in my difficulties, +since ever I have known what it was to have a difficulty, and you have +done everything for me. I never remember any trouble I ever had but you +found some means of clearing it away. Therefore my whole hope is in you. +I know it is hard to give up all your parties and things; but it would +only be two nights, after all--Saturday and Sunday. Oh, do come, do +come, if you ever cared the least little bit for your poor cousin! Come, +oh, come, dear old John! + +"Your affect. +"E------." + + +"Is that all?" he said to himself; but it was not all, for there +followed a postscript all about the gifts and graces of the unknown +lover, and how he was the victim of circumstances, and how, while other +men might steal the horse, he dared not look over the wall, and other +convincing pleadings such as these, till John's head began to go round. +When he had got through this postscript John Tatham folded the letter +and put it away. He had a smile on his face, but he had the air of a man +who had been beaten about the head and was confused with the hurry and +storm of the blows. She had always turned to him in all her difficulties, +that was true: and he had always stood by her, and often, in the +freemasonry of youth, had thought her right and vindicated her capacity +to judge for herself. He had been called often on this errand, and he +had never refused to obey. For Elinor was very wilful, she had always +been wilful--"a rosebud set about with wilful thorns, But sweet as +English air could make her, she." He had come to her aid many a time. +But he had never thought to be called upon by her in such a way as this. +He folded the letter up carefully and put it in a drawer. Usually +when he had a letter from Elinor he put it into his pocket, for the +satisfaction of reading it over again: for she had a fantastic way of +writing, adding little postscripts which escaped the eye at first, and +which it was pleasant to find out afterwards. But with this letter he +did not do so. He put it in a drawer of his writing-table, so that he +might find it again when necessary, but he did not put it in his breast +pocket. And then he sat for some time doing nothing, looking before him, +with his legs stretched out and his hand beating a little tattoo upon +the table. "Well: well? well!" That was about what he said to himself, +but it meant a great deal: it meant a vague but great disappointment, a +sort of blank and vacuum expressed by the first of these words--and then +it meant a question of great importance and many divisions. How could it +ever have come to anything? Am I a man to marry? What could I have done, +just getting into practice, just getting a few pounds to spend for +myself? And then came the conclusion. Since I can't do anything else +for her; since she's done it for herself--shall I be a beast and not +help her, because it puts my own nose out of joint? Not a bit of it! +The reader must remember that in venturing to reflect a young man's +sentiments a dignified style is scarcely possible; they express +themselves sometimes with much force in their private moments, but not +as Dr. Johnson would have approved, or with any sense of elegance; and +one must try to be truthful to nature. He knew very well that Elinor was +not responsible for his disappointment, and even he was aware that if +she had been so foolish as to fix her hopes upon him, it would probably +have been she who would have been disappointed, and left in the lurch. +But still---- + +John had gone through an interminable amount of thinking, and a good +deal of soda-water (with or without, how should I know, some other +moderate ingredient), and a cigar or two--not to speak of certain hours +when he ought to have been in bed to keep his head clear for the cases +of to-morrow: when it suddenly flashed upon him all at once that he was +not a step further on than when he had received Mrs. Dennistoun's letter +in the morning, for Elinor, though she had said so much about him, had +given no indication who her lover was. Who was the man? + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + +It was a blustering afternoon when John, with his bag in his hand, set +out from the station at Hurrymere for Mrs. Dennistoun's cottage. Why +that station should have had "mere" in its name I have never been able +to divine, for there is no water to be seen for miles, scarcely so much +as a duckpond: but, perhaps, there are two meanings to the words. It was +a steep walk up a succession of slopes, and the name of the one upon +which the cottage stood was Windyhill not an encouraging title on such +a day, but true enough to the character of the place. The cottage lay, +however, at the head of a combe or shelving irregular valley, just +sheltered from the winds on a little platform of its own, and commanding +a view which was delightful in its long sweeping distance, and varied +enough to be called picturesque, especially by those who were familiar +with nothing higher than the swelling slopes of the Surrey hills. It was +wild, little cultivated, save in the emerald green of the bottom, a +few fields which lay where a stream ought to have been. Nowadays there +are red-roofed houses peeping out at every corner, but at that period +fashion had not even heard of Hurrymere, and, save for a farm-house or +two, a village alehouse and posting-house at a corner of the high-road, +and one or two great houses within the circuit of six or seven miles, +retired within their trees and parks, there were few habitations. Mrs. +Dennistoun's cottage was red-roofed like the rest, but much subdued by +lichens, and its walls were covered by climbing plants, so that it +struck no bold note upon the wild landscape, yet was visible afar off in +glimpses, from the much-winding road, for a mile or two before it could +be come at. There was, indeed, a nearer way, necessitating a sharp +scramble, but when John came just in sight of the house his heart failed +him a little, and, notwithstanding that his bag had come to feel very +heavy by this time, he deliberately chose the longer round to gain a +little time--as we all do sometimes, when we are most anxious to be +at our journey's end, and hear what has to be told us. It looked very +peaceful seated in that fold of the hill, no tossing of trees about it, +though a little higher up the slim oaks and beeches of the copse were +flinging themselves about against the grey sky in a kind of agonised +appeal. John liked the sound of the wind sweeping over the hills, rending +the trees, and filling the horizon as with a crowd of shadows in pain, +twisting and bending with every fresh sweep of the breeze. Sometimes +such sounds and sights give a relief to the mind. He liked it better +than if all had been undisturbed, lying in afternoon quiet as might have +been expected at the crown of the year--but the winds had always to be +taken into account at Windyhill. + +When he came in sight of the gate, John was aware of some one waiting +for him, walking up and down the sandy road into which it opened. Her +face was turned the other way, and she evidently looked for him by way +of the combe, the scrambling steep road which he had avoided in despite: +for why should he scramble and make himself hot in order to hear ten +minutes sooner what he did not wish to hear at all? She turned round +suddenly as he knocked his foot against a stone upon the rough, but +otherwise noiseless road, presenting a countenance flushed with sudden +relief and pleasure to John's remorseful eye. "Oh, there you are!" she +said; "I am so glad. I thought you could not be coming. You might have +been here a quarter of an hour ago by the short road." + +"I did not think there was any hurry," said John, ungraciously. "The +wind is enough to carry one off one's feet; though, to be sure, it's +quiet enough here." + +"It's always quiet here," she said, reading his face with her eyes after +the manner of women, and wondering what the harassed look meant that was +so unusual in John's cheerful face. She jumped at the idea that he was +tired, that his bag was heavy, that he had been beaten about by the wind +till he had lost his temper, always a possible thing to happen to a man. +Elinor flung herself upon the bag and tried to take possession of it. +"Why didn't you get a boy at the station to carry it? Let me carry it," +she said. + +"That is so likely," said John, with a hard laugh, shifting it to his +other hand. + +Elinor caught his arm with both her hands, and looked up with wistful +eyes into his face. "Oh, John, you are angry," she said. + +"Nonsense. I am tired, buffeting about with this wind." Here the +gardener and man-of-all-work about the cottage came up and took the bag, +which John parted with with angry reluctance, as if it had been a sort +of weapon of offence. After it was gone there was nothing for it but to +walk quietly to the house through the flowers with that girl hanging on +his arm, begging a hundred pardons with her eyes. The folly of it! as +if she had not a right to do as she pleased, or he would try to prevent +her; but finally, the soft, silent apology of that clinging, and the +look full of petitions touched his surly heart. "Well--Nelly," he said, +with involuntary softening. + +"Oh, if you call me that I am not afraid!" she cried, with an instant +upleaping of pleasure and confidence in her changeable face, which (John +tried to say to himself) was not really pretty at all, only so full of +expression, changing with every breath of feeling. The eyes, which had +only been brown a moment before, leaped up into globes of light, yet +not too dazzling, with some liquid medium to soften their shining. Even +though you know that a girl is in love with another man, that she thinks +of you no more than of the old gardener who has just hobbled round the +corner, it is pleasant to be able to change the whole aspect of affairs +to her and make her light up like that, solely by a little unwilling +softening of your gruff and surly tone. + +"You know, John," she said, holding his arm tight with her two hands, +"that nobody ever calls me Nelly--except you." + +"Possibly I shall call you Nelly no longer. Why? Why, because that +fellow will object." + +"That fellow! Oh, _he_!" Elinor's face grew very red all over, from the +chin, which almost touched John's arm, to the forehead, bent back a +little over those eyes suffused with light which were intent upon all +the changes of John's face. This one was, like the landscape, swept by +all the vicissitudes of sun and shade. It was radiant now with the +unexpected splendour of the sudden gleam. + +"Oh, John, John, I have so much to say to you! He will object to +nothing. He knows very well you are like my brother--almost more than my +brother--for you could help it, John. You almost chose me for your +friend, which a brother would not. He says, 'Get him to be our friend +and all will be well!'" + +_He_ had not said this, but Elinor had said it to him, and he had +assented, which was almost the same--in the way of reckoning of a girl, +at least. + +"He is very kind, I am sure," said John, gulping down something which +had almost made him throw off Elinor's arm, and fling away from her in +indignation. Her brother----!! But there was no use making any row, he +said to himself. If anything were to be done for her he must put up with +all that. There had suddenly come upon John, he knew not how, as he +scanned her anxious face, a conviction that the man was a scamp, from +whom at all hazards she should be free. + +Said Elinor, unsuspecting, "That is just what he is, John! I knew you +would divine his character at once. You can't think how kind he is--kind +to everybody. He never judges anyone, or throws a stone, or makes an +insinuation." ("Probably because he knows he cannot bear investigation +himself," John said, in his heart.) "That was the thing that took my +heart first. Everybody is so censorious--always something to say against +their neighbours; he, never a word." + +"That's a very good quality," said John, reluctantly, "if it doesn't +mean confounding good with bad, and thinking nothing matters." + +Elinor gave him a grieved, reproachful look, and loosened the clasping +of her hands. "It is not like you to imagine that, John!" + +"Well, what is a man to say? Don't you see, if you do nothing but blow +his trumpet, the only thing left for me to do is to insinuate something +against him? I don't know the man from Adam. He may be an angel, for +anything I can say." + +"No; I do not pretend he is that," said Elinor, with impartiality. "He +has his faults, like others, but they are _nice_ faults. He doesn't know +how to take care of his money (but he hasn't got very much, which makes +it the less matter), and he is sometimes taken in about his friends. +Anybody almost that appeals to his kindness is treated like a friend, +which makes precise people think----but, of course, I don't share that +opinion in the very least." + +("A very wasteful beggar, with a disreputable set," was John's practical +comment within himself upon this speech.) + +"And he doesn't know how to curry favour with people who can help him +on; so that though he has been for years promised something, it never +turns up. Oh, I know his faults very well indeed," said Elinor; "but a +woman can do so much to make up for faults like that. We're naturally +saving, you know, and we always keep those unnecessary friends that were +made before our time at a distance; and it's part of our nature to coax +a patron--that is what Mariamne says." + +"Mariamne?" said John. + +"His sister, who first introduced him to me; and I am very fond of +her, so you need not say anything against her, John. I know she +is--fashionable, but that's no harm." + +"Mariamne," he repeated; "it is a very uncommon name. You don't mean +Lady Mariamne Prestwich, do you? and not--not----Elinor! not Phil +Compton, for goodness' sake? Don't tell me he's the man?" + +Elinor's hands dropped from his arm. She drew herself up until she +seemed to tower over him. "And why should I say it is not Mr. Compton," +she asked, with a scarlet flush of anger, so different from that rosy +red of love and happiness, covering her face. + +"Phil Compton! the _dis_-Honourable Phil! Why, Elinor! you cannot mean +it! you must not mean it!" he cried. + +Elinor said not a word. She turned from him with a look of pathetic +reproach but with the air of a queen, and walked into the house, he +following in a ferment of wrath and trouble, yet humbled and miserable +more than words could say. Oh, the flowery, peaceful house! jasmine and +rose overleaping each other upon the porch, honeysuckle scenting the +air, all manner of feminine contrivances to continue the greenness and +the sweetness into the little bright hall, into the open drawing-room, +where flowers stood on every table amid the hundred pretty trifles of a +woman's house. There was no one in this room where she led him, and then +turned round confronting him, taller than he had ever seen her before, +pale, with her nostrils dilating and her lips trembling. "I never +thought it possible that you of all people in the world, you, John--my +stand-by since ever I was a baby--my---- Oh! what a horrid thing it is +to be a woman," cried Elinor, stamping her foot, "to be ready to cry for +everything!--you, John! that I always put my trust in--that you should +turn against me--and at the very first word!" + +"Elinor," he said, "my dear girl! not against you, not against you, for +all the world!" + +"And what is _me_?" she said, with that sudden turning of the tables and +high scorn of her previous argument which is common with women; "do I +care what you do to _me_? Oh, nothing, nothing! I am of no account, you +can trample me down under your feet if you like. But what I will not +bear," she said, clenching her hands, "is injustice to him: that I will +not bear, neither from you, Cousin John, who are only my distant cousin, +after all, and have no right to thrust your advice upon me--or from any +one in the world." + +"What you say is quite true, Elinor, I am only a distant cousin--after +all: but----" + +"Oh, no, no," she cried, flying to him, seizing once more his arm with +her clinging hands, "I did not mean that--you know I did not mean that, +my more than brother, my good, good John, whom I have trusted all my +life!" + +And then the poor girl broke out into passionate weeping with her head +upon his shoulder, as she might have leant upon the handy trunk of a +tree, or on the nearest door or window, as John Tatham said in his +heart. He soothed her as best he could, and put her in a chair and stood +with his hand upon the back of it, looking down upon her as the fit of +crying wore itself out. Poor little girl! he had seen her cry often +enough before. A girl cries for anything, for a thorn in her finger, +for a twist of her foot. He had seen her cry and laugh, and dash the +tears out of her eyes on such occasions, oh! often and often: there was +that time when he rushed out of the bushes unexpectedly and frightened +her pony, and she fell among the grass and vowed, sobbing and laughing, +it was her fault! and once when she was a little tot, not old enough for +boy's play, when she fell upon her little nose and cut it and disfigured +herself, and held up that wounded little knob of a feature to have it +kissed and made well. Oh, why did he think of that now! the little thing +all trust and simple confidence! There was that time too when she jumped +up to get a gun and shoot the tramps who had hurt somebody, if John +would but give her his hand! These things came rushing into his mind as +he stood watching Elinor cry, with his hand upon the back of her chair. + +She wanted John's hand now when she was going forth to far greater +dangers. Oh, poor little Nelly! poor little thing! but he could not put +her on his shoulder and carry her out to face the foe now. + +She jumped up suddenly while he was thinking, with the tears still wet +upon her cheeks, but the paroxysm mastered, and the light of her eyes +coming out doubly bright like the sun from the clouds. "We poor women," +she said with a laugh, "are so badly off, we are so handicapped, as you +call it! We can't help crying like fools! We can't help caring for what +other people think, trying to conciliate and bring them round to approve +us--when we ought to stand by our own conscience and judgment, and sense +of what is right, like independent beings." + +"If that means taking your own way, Elinor, whatever any one may say to +you, I think women do it at least as much as men." + +"No, it does not mean taking our own way," she cried, "and if you do not +understand any better than that, why should I---- But you do understand +better, John," she said, her countenance again softening: "you know I +want, above everything in the world, that you should approve of me and +see that I am right. That is what I want! I will do what I think right; +but, oh, if I could only have you with me in doing it, and know that you +saw with me that it was the best, the only thing to do! Happiness lies +in that, not in having one's own way." + +"My dear Elinor," he said, "isn't that asking a great deal? To prevent +you from doing what you think right is in nobody's power. You are of +age, and I am sure my aunt will force nothing; but how can we change our +opinions, our convictions, our entire points of view? There is nobody in +the world I would do so much for as you, Elinor: but I cannot do that, +even for you." + +The hot tears were dried from her cheeks, the passion was over. She +looked at him, her efforts to gain him at an end, on the equal footing +of an independent individual agreeing to differ, and as strong in her +own view as he could be. + +"There is one thing you can do for me," she said. "Mamma knows nothing +about--fashionable gossip. She is not acquainted with the wicked things +that are said. If she disapproves it is only because---- Oh, I suppose +because one's mother always disapproves a thing that is done without +her, that she has no hand in, what she calls pledging one's self to a +stranger, and not knowing his antecedents, his circumstances, and so +forth! But she hasn't any definite ground for it as you--think you have, +judging in the uncharitable way of the world--not remembering that if we +love one another the more there is against him the more need he has of +me! But all I have to ask of you, John, is not to prejudice my mother. I +know you can do it if you please--a hint would be enough, an uncertain +word, even hesitating when you answer a question--that would be quite +enough! John, if you put things into her head----" + +"You ask most extraordinary things of me," said John, turning to bay. +"To tell her lies about a man whom everybody knows--to pretend I think +one thing when I think quite another. Not to say that my duty is to +inform her exactly what things are said, so that she may judge for +herself, not let her go forth in ignorance--that is my plain duty, +Elinor." + +"But you won't do it; oh, you won't do it!" she said. "Oh, John, for +the sake of all the time that you have been so good to Nelly--your own +little Nelly, nobody else's! Remember that I and everybody who loves +him know these stories to be lies--and don't, don't put things into my +mother's head! Let her judge for herself--don't, don't prejudice her, +John. It can be no one's duty to repeat malicious stories when there is +no possibility of proving or disproving them. Don't make her think---- +Oh, mamma! we couldn't think where you had gone to. Yes, here is John." + +"So I perceive," said Mrs. Dennistoun. It was getting towards evening, +and the room was not very light. She could not distinguish their looks +or the agitation that scarcely could have been hidden but for the dusk. +"You seem to have been having a very animated conversation. I heard your +voices all along the garden walk. Let me have the benefit of it, if +there is anything to tell." + +"You know well enough, mamma, what we must have been talking about," +said Elinor, turning half angrily away. + +"To be sure," said the mother, "I ought to have known. There is nothing +so interesting as that sort of thing. I thought, however, you would +probably have put it off a little, Elinor." + +"Put it off a little--when it is the thing that concerns us more than +anything else in the world!" + +"That is true," said Mrs. Dennistoun, with a sigh. "Did you walk all the +way, John? I meant to have sent the pony-cart for you, but the man was +too late. It is a nice evening though, and coming out of town it is a +good thing for you to have a good walk." + +"Yes, I like it more than anything," said John, "but the evening is not +so very fine. The wind is high, and I shouldn't wonder if we had rain." + +"The wind is always high here," said Mrs. Dennistoun. "We don't have our +view for nothing; but the sky is quite clear in the west, and all the +clouds blowing away. I don't think we shall have more than a shower." + +Elinor stood listening to this talk with restrained impatience, as if +waiting for the moment when they should come to something worth talking +about. Then she gave herself a sort of shake--half weary, half +indignant--and left the room. There was a moment's silence, until her +quick step was heard going to the other end of the house and up-stairs, +and the shutting of a door. + +"Oh, John, I am very uneasy, very uneasy," said Mrs. Dennistoun. "I +scarcely thought she would have begun to you about it at once; but then +I am doing the very same. We can't think of anything else. I am not +going to worry you before dinner, for you must be tired with your walk, +and want to refresh yourself before we enter upon that weary, weary +business. But my heart misgives me dreadfully about it all. If I only +had gone with her! It was not for want of an invitation, but just my +laziness. I could not be troubled to leave my own house." + +"I don't see what difference it would have made had you been with her, +aunt." + +"Oh, I should have seen the man: and been able to judge what he was and +his motive, John." + +"Elinor is not rich. He could scarcely have had an interested motive." + +"There is some comfort in that. I have said that to myself again and +again. He could not have an interested motive. But, oh! I am uneasy! +There is the dressing-bell. I will not keep you any longer, John; but +in the evening, or to-morrow, when we can get a quiet moment----" + +The dusk, was now pervading all the house--that summer dusk which +there is a natural prejudice everywhere against cutting short by +lights. He could not see her face, nor she his, as they went out of the +drawing-room together and along the long passage, which led by several +arched doorways to the stairs. John had a room on the ground floor which +was kept for gentlemen visitors, and in which the candles were twinkling +on the dressing-table. He was more than ever thankful as he caught a +glimpse of himself in the vague reflected world of the mirror, with its +lights standing up reflected too, like inquisitors spying upon him, that +there had not been light enough to show how he was looking: for though +he was both a lawyer and a man of the world, John Tatham had not been +able to keep the trouble which his interview with Elinor had caused him +out of his face. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + +The drawing-room of the cottage was large and low, and had that _faux +air_ of being old-fashioned which is dear to the hearts of superior +people generally. Mrs. Dennistoun and her daughter scarcely belonged to +that class, yet they were, as ladies of leisure with a little taste for +the arts are bound to be, touched by all the fancies of their time, +which was just beginning to adore Queen Anne. There was still, however, +a mixture of luxury with the square settees and spindle-legged cabinets +which were "the fashion:" and partly because that was also "the fashion," +and partly because on Windyhill even a July evening was sometimes a +little chill, or looked so by reason of the great darkness of the +silent, little-inhabited country outside--there was a log burning on the +fire-dogs (the newest thing in furnishing in those days though now so +common) on the hearth. The log burned as little as possible, being, +perhaps, not quite so thoroughly dry and serviceable as it would have +been in its proper period, and made a faint hissing sound in the silence +as it burned, and diffused its pungent odour through the house. The bow +window was open behind its white curtains, and it was there that the +little party gathered out of reach of the unnecessary heat and the +smoke. There was a low sofa on either side of this recess, and in the +centre the French window opened into the garden, where all the scents +were balmy in the stillness which had fallen upon the night. + +Mrs. Dennistoun was tall and slim, a woman with a presence, and sat with +a sort of dignity on her side of the window, with a little table beside +her covered with her little requirements, the properties, so to speak, +without which she was never known to be--a book for moments when there +was nothing else to interest her, a case for work should there arise +any necessity for putting in a stitch in time, a bottle of salts should +she or any one else become suddenly faint, a paper cutter in cases of +emergency, and finally, for mere ornament, two roses, a red and a white, +in one of those tall old-fashioned glasses which are so pretty for +flowers. I do wrong to dismiss the roses with such vulgar qualifications +as white and red--the one was a _Souvenir de Malmaison_, the other a +_General_ ---- something or other. If you spoke to Mrs. Dennistoun +about her flowers she said, "Oh, the Malmaison," or "Oh, the General +So-and-so." Rose was only the family name, but happily, as we all know, +under the other appellation they smelt just as sweet. Mrs. Dennistoun +kept up all this little state because she had been used to do so; +because it was part of a lady's accoutrements, so to speak. She had also +a cushion, which was necessary, if not for comfort, yet for her sense of +being fully equipped, placed behind her back when she sat down. But with +all this she was not a formal or prim person. She was a woman who had +not produced a great deal of effect in life; one of those who are not +accustomed to have their advice taken, or to find that their opinion has +much weight upon others. Perhaps it was because Elinor resembled her +father that this peculiarity which had affected all Mrs. Dennistoun's +married life should have continued into a sphere where she ought to have +been paramount. But she was with her daughter as she had been with her +husband, a person of an ineffective character, taking refuge from the +sensation of being unable to influence those about her whose wills were +stronger than her own, by relinquishing authority, and in her most +decided moments offering an opinion only, no more. This was not because +she was really undecided, for on the contrary she knew her own mind well +enough; but it had become a matter of habit with her to insist upon no +opinion, knowing, as she did, how little chance she had of imposing her +opinion upon the stronger wills about her. She had two other children +older than Elinor: one, the eldest of all, married in India, a woman +with many children of her own, practically altogether severed from +the maternal nest; the other an adventurous son, who was generally +understood to be at the ends of the earth, but seldom or never had any +more definite address. This lady had naturally gone through many pangs +and anxieties on behalf of these children, who had dropped away from her +side into the unknown; but it belonged to her character to have said +very little about this, so that she was generally supposed to take +things very easily, and other mothers were apt to admire the composure +of Mrs. Dennistoun, whose son might be being murdered by savages at any +moment, for anything she knew--or minded, apparently. "Now it would have +driven _me_ out of my senses!" the other ladies said. Mrs. Dennistoun +perhaps did not feel the back so well fitted to the burden as +appeared--but she kept her own sentiments on this subject entirely to +herself. + +(I may say too--but this, the young reader may skip without +disadvantage--by way of explanation of a peculiarity which has lately +been much remarked as characteristic of those records of human history +contemptuously called fiction, _i.e._, the unimportance, or ill-report, +or unjust disapproval of the mother in records of this description--that +it is almost impossible to maintain her due rank and character in a +piece of history, which has to be kept within certain limits--and where +her daughter the heroine must have the first place. To lessen _her_ +pre-eminence by dwelling at length upon the mother, unless that mother +is a fool, or a termagant, or something thoroughly contrasting with the +beauty and virtues of the daughter--would in most cases be a mistake in +art. For one thing the necessary incidents are wanting, for I strongly +object, and so I think do most people, to mothers who fall in love, or +think of marriage, or any such vanity in their own person, and unless +she is to interfere mischievously with the young lady's prospects, or +take more or less the part of the villain, how is she to be permitted +any importance at all? For there cannot be two suns in one sphere, or +two centres to one world. Thus the mother has to be sacrificed to the +daughter: which is a parable; or else it is the other way, which is +against all the principles and prepossessions of life.) + +Elinor did not sit up like her mother. She had flung herself upon the +opposite sofa, with her arms flung behind her head, supporting it with +her fingers half buried in the twists of her hair. She was not tall +like Mrs. Dennistoun, and there was far more vivid colour than had ever +been the mother's in her brown eyes and bright complexion, which was +milk-white and rose-red after an old-fashioned rule of colour, too crude +perhaps for modern artistic taste. Sometimes these delightful tints go +with a placid soul which never varies, but in Elinor's case there was a +demon in the hazel of the eyes, not dark enough for placidity, all fire +at the best of times, and ready in a moment to burst into flame. She +it was who had to be in the forefront of the interest, and not her +mother, though for metaphysical, or what I suppose should now be +called psychological interests, the elder lady was probably the most +interesting of the two. Elinor beat her foot upon the carpet, out of +sheer impatience, while John lingered alone in the dining-room. What did +he stay there for? When there are several men together, and they drink +wine, the thing is comprehensible; but one man alone who takes his +claret with his dinner, and cares for nothing more, why should he stay +behind when there was so much to say to him, and not one minute too +much time till Monday morning, should the house be given up to talk not +only by day but by night? But it was no use beating one's foot, for John +did not come. + +"You spoke to your cousin, Elinor, before dinner?" her mother said. + +"Oh, yes, I spoke to him before dinner. What did he come here for but +that? I sent for him on purpose, you know, mamma, to hear what he would +say." + +"And what did he say?" + +This most natural question produced a small convulsion once more on +Elinor's side. She loosed the hands that had been supporting her head +and flung them out in front of her. "Oh, mamma, how can you be so +exasperating! What did he say? What was he likely to say? If the beggar +maid that married King Cophetua had a family it would have been exactly +the same thing--though in that case surely the advantage was all on the +gentleman's side." + +"We know none of the particulars in that case," said Mrs. Dennistoun, +calmly. "I have always thought it quite possible that the beggar maid +was a princess of an old dynasty and King Cophetua a _parvenu_. But in +your case, Elinor----" + +"You know just as little," said the girl, impetuously. + +"That is what I say. I don't know the man who has possessed himself of +my child's fancy and heart. I want to know more about him. I want----" + +"For goodness' sake, whatever you want, don't be sentimental, mamma!" + +"Was I sentimental? I didn't mean it. He has got your heart, my dear, +whatever words may be used." + +"Yes--and for ever!" said the girl, turning round upon herself. "I know +you think I don't know my own mind; but there will never be any change +in me. Oh, what does John mean, sitting all by himself in that stuffy +room? He has had time to smoke a hundred cigarettes!" + +"Elinor, you must not forget it is rather hard upon John to be brought +down to settle your difficulties for you. What do you want with him? +Only that he should advise you to do what you have settled upon doing. +If he took the other side, how much attention would you give him? You +must be reasonable, my dear." + +"I would give him every attention," said Elinor, "if he said what was +reasonable. You don't think mere blind opposition is reasonable, I hope, +mamma. To say Don't, merely, without saying why, what reason is there in +that?" + +"My dear, when you argue I am lost. I am not clever at making out my +ground. Mine is not mere blind opposition, or indeed opposition at all. +You have been always trained to use your own faculties, and I have never +made any stand against you." + +"Why not? why not?" said the girl, springing to her feet. "That is just +the dreadful, dreadful part of it! Why don't you say straight out what +I am to do and keep to it, and not tell me I must make use of my own +faculties? When I do, you put on a face and object. Either don't object, +or tell me point-blank what I am to do." + +"Do you think for one moment if I did, you would obey me, Elinor?" + +"Oh, I don't know what I might do in that case, for it will never +happen. You will never take that responsibility. For my part, if you +locked me up in my room and kept me on bread and water I should think +_that_ reasonable; but not this kind of letting I dare not wait upon I +would, saying I am to exercise my own faculties, and then hesitating and +finding fault." + +"I daresay, my dear," said Mrs. Dennistoun, with great tolerance, "that +this may be provoking to your impatient mind: but you must put yourself +in my place a little, as I try to put myself in yours. I have never seen +Mr. Compton. It is probable, or at least quite possible, that if I knew +him I might look upon him with your eyes----" + +"Probable! Possible! What words to use! when all my happiness, all my +life, everything I care for is in it: and my own mother thinks it just +possible that she might be able to tolerate the man that--the man +who----" + +She flung herself down on her seat again, panting and excited. "Did you +wear out Adelaide like that," she cried, "before she married, papa and +you----" + +"Adelaide was very different, Elinor. She married _salon les règles_ a +man whom we all knew. There was no trouble about it. Your father was +the one who was impatient then. He thought it too well arranged, too +commonplace and satisfactory. You may believe he did not object to that +in words, but he laughed at them and it worried him. It has done very +well on the whole," said Mrs. Dennistoun, with a faint sigh. + +"You say that--and then you sigh. There is always a little reserve. You +are never wholly satisfied." + +"One seldom is in this world," said Mrs. Dennistoun, this time with a +soft laugh. "This world is not very satisfactory. One makes the best one +can of it." + +"And that is just what I hate to hear," said Elinor, "what I have always +heard. Oh, yes, when you don't say it you mean it, mamma. One can read +it in the turn of your head. You put up with things. You think perhaps +they might have been worse. In every way that's your philosophy. And +it's killing, killing to all life! I would rather far you said out, +'Adelaide's husband is a prig and I hate him.'" + +"There is only one drawback, that it would not be true. I don't in the +least hate him. I am glad I was not called upon to marry him myself, I +don't think I should have liked it. But he makes Adelaide a very good +husband, and she is quite happy with him--as far as I know." + +"The same thing again--never more. I wonder, I wonder after I have been +married a dozen years what you will say of me?" + +"I wonder, too: if we could but know that it would solve the question," +the mother said. Elinor looked at her with a provoked and impatient air, +which softened off after a moment--partly because she heard the door of +the dining-room open--into a smile. + +"I try you in every way," she said, half laughing. "I do everything to +beguile you into a pleasanter speech. I thought you must at least have +said then that you hoped you would have nothing to say but happiness. +No! you are not to be caught, however one tries, mamma." + +John came in at this moment, not without a whiff about him of the +cigarette over which he had lingered so. It relieved him to see the +two ladies seated opposite each other in the bow window, and to hear +something like a laugh in the air. Perhaps they were discussing other +things, and not this momentous marriage question, in which certainly no +laughter was. + +"You have your usual fire," he said, "but the wind has quite gone down, +and I am sure it is not wanted to-night." + +"It looks cheerful always, John." + +"Which is the reason, I suppose, why you carefully place yourself out of +sight of it--one of the prejudices of English life." + +And then he came forward into the recess of the window, which was partly +separated from the room by a table with flowers on it, and a great bush +in a pot, of delicate maiden-hair fern. It was perhaps significant, +though he did not mean it for any demonstration of partisanship, that +he sat down on Elinor's side. Both the ladies felt it so instinctively, +although, on the contrary, had the truth been known, all John's real +agreement was with the mother; but in such a conjuncture it is not truth +but personal sympathy that carries the day. "You are almost in the dark +here," he said. + +"Neither of us is doing anything. One is lazy on a summer night." + +"There is a great deal more in it than that," said Elinor, in a voice +which faltered a little. "You talk about summer nights, and the weather, +and all manner of indifferent things, but you know all the time there +is but one real subject to talk of, and that we are all thinking of +that." + +"That is my line, aunt," said John. "Elinor is right. We might sit +and make conversation, but of course this is the only subject we are +thinking of. It's very kind of you to take me into the consultation. Of +course I am in a kind of way the nearest in relation, and the only man +in the family--except my father--and I know a little about law, and all +that. Now let me hear formally, as if I knew nothing about it (and, in +fact, I know very little), what the question is. Elinor has met someone +who--who has proposed to her--not to put too fine a point upon it," said +John, with a smile that was somewhat ghastly--"and she has accepted him. +Congratulations are understood, but here there arises a hitch." + +"There arises no hitch. Mamma is dissatisfied (which mamma generally is) +chiefly because she does not know Mr. Compton; and some wretched old +woman, who doesn't know him either, has written to her--to her and also +to me--telling us a pack of lies," said Elinor, indignantly, "to which I +do not give the least credence for a moment--not for a moment!" + +"That's all very well for you," said John, "it's quite simple; but for +us, Elinor--that is, for your mother and me, as you are good enough to +allow me to have a say in the matter--it's not so simple. We feel, you +know, that, like Cæsar's wife, our Elinor's--husband"--he could not help +making a grimace as he said that word, but no one saw or suspected +it--"should be above suspicion." + +"That is exactly what I feel, John." + +"Well, we must do something about it, don't you see? Probably it will be +as easy as possible for him to clear himself." (The dis-Honourable Phil! +Good heavens! to think it was a man branded with such a name that was to +marry Elinor! For a moment he was silenced by the thought, as if some +one had given him a blow.) + +"To clear himself!" said Elinor. "And do you think I will permit him to +be asked to clear himself? Do you think I will allow him to believe for +a moment that _I_ believed anything against him? Do you think I will +take the word of a spiteful old woman?" + +"Old women are not always spiteful, and they are sometimes right." +John put out his hand to prevent Mrs. Dennistoun from speaking, which, +indeed, she had no intention of doing. "I don't mean so, of course, in +Mr. Compton's case--and I don't know what has been said." + +"Things that are very uncomfortable--very inconsistent with a happy life +and a comfortable establishment," said Mrs. Dennistoun. + +"Oh, if you could only hear yourself, mamma! You are not generally a +Philistine, I must say that for you; but if you only heard the tone +in which you said 'comfortable establishment!' the most conventional +match-making in existence could not have done it better; and as for +what has been said, there has nothing been said but what is said about +everybody--what, probably, would be said of you yourself, John, for you +play whist sometimes, I hear, and often billiards, at the club." + +A half-audible "God forbid!" had come from John's lips when she said, +"What would probably be said of yourself"--audible that is to Elinor, +not to the mother. She sprang up as this murmur came to her ear: "Oh, if +you are going to prejudge the case, there is nothing for me to say!" + +"I should be very sorry to prejudge the case, or to judge it all," said +John. "I am too closely interested to be judicial. Let somebody who +knows nothing about it be your judge. Let the accusations be submitted--to +your Rector, say; he's a sensible man enough, and knows the world. He +won't be scared by a rubber at the club, or that sort of thing. Let him +inquire, and then your mind will be at rest." + +"There is only one difficulty, John," said Mrs. Dennistoun. "Mr. Hudson +would be the best man in the world, only for one thing--that it is from +his sister and his wife that the warning came." + +"Oh!" said John. This fact seemed to take him aback in the most +ludicrous way. He sat and gazed at them, and had not another word to +say. Perhaps the fact that he himself who suggested the inquiry was +still better informed of the true state of the case, and of the truth of +the accusation, than were those to whom he might have submitted it, gave +him a sense of the hopelessness and also absurdity of the attempt more +than anything else could have done. + +"And that proves, if there was nothing else," said Elinor, "how false +it is: for how could Mrs. Hudson and Mary Dale know? They are not +fashionable people, they are not in society. How could they or any one +like them know anything of Phil"--she stopped quickly, drew herself up, +and added--"of Mr. Compton, I mean?" + +"They might not know, but they might state their authority," Mrs. +Dennistoun said; "and if the Rector cannot be used to help us, surely, +John, you are a man of the world, you are not like a woman, unacquainted +with evidence. Why should not you do it, though you are, as you kindly +say, an interested party?" + +"He shall not do it. I forbid him to do it. If he takes in hand anything +of the kind he must say good-by to me." + +"You hear?" said John; "but I could not do it in any case, my dear +Elinor. I am too near. I never could see this thing all round. Why not +your lawyer, old Lynch, a decent old fellow----" + +"I will tell him the same," cried Elinor; "I will never speak to him +again." + +"My dear," said her mother, "you will give everybody the idea that you +don't want to know the truth." + +"I know the truth already," said Elinor, rising with great dignity. "Do +you think that any slander would for a moment shake my faith in you--or +you? You don't deserve it, John, for you turn against me--you that I +thought were going to take my part; but do you think if all the people +in London set up one story that I would believe it against you? And how +should I against _him_?" she added, with an emphasis upon the word, as +expressing something immeasurably more to be loved and trusted than +either mother or cousin, by which, after having raised John up to a sort +of heaven of gratified affection, she let him down again to the ground +like a stone. Oh, yes! trusted in with perfect faith, nothing believed +against him, whom she had known all her life--but yet not to be mentioned +in the same breath with the ineffable trust she reposed in the man she +loved--whom she did not know at all. The first made John's countenance +beam with emotion and pleasure, the second brought a cold shade over his +face. For a moment he could scarcely speak. + +"She bribes us," he said at last, forcing a smile. "She flatters us, but +only to let us drop again, Mrs. Dennistoun; it is as good as saying, +'What are we to _him_?'" + +"They all do so," said the elder lady, calmly; "I am used to it." + +"But, perhaps, I am not quite--used to it," said John, with something in +his voice which made them both look at him--Elinor only for a moment, +carelessly, before she swept away--Mrs. Dennistoun with a more warmly +awakened sensation, as if she had made some discovery. "Ah!" she said, +with a tone of pain. But Elinor did not wait for any further disclosures. +She waved her hand, and went off with her head high, carrying, as she +felt, the honours of war. They might plot, indeed, behind her back, and +try to invent some tribunal before which her future husband might be +arraigned; but John, at least, would say nothing to make things worse. +John would be true to her--he would not injure Phil Compton. Elinor, +perhaps, guessed a little of what John was thinking, and felt, though +she could scarcely have told how, that it would be a point of honour +with him not to betray her love. + +He sat with Mrs. Dennistoun in partial silence for some time after +this. He felt as if he had been partially discovered--partially, and yet +more would be discovered than there was to discover; for if either of +them believed that he was in love with Elinor, they were mistaken, he +said to himself. He had been annoyed by her engagement, but he had never +come to the point of asking her that question in his own person. No, nor +would not, he said to himself--certainly would not--not even to save her +from the clutches of this gambler and adventurer. No; they might think +what they liked, but this was the case. He never should have done +it--never would have exposed himself to refusal--never besought this +high-tempered girl to have the control of his life. Poor Nelly all the +same! poor little thing! To think she had so little judgment as to +ignore what might have been a great deal better, and to pin her faith to +the dis-Honourable Phil. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + +In the morning John accompanied Elinor to church. Mrs. Dennistoun had +found an excuse for not going, which I am sorry to say was a way she +had. She expressed (and felt) much sorrow for it herself, saying, which +was quite true, that not to go was a great distress to her, and put the +household out, and was a custom she did not approve of. But somehow +it had grown upon her. She regretted this, but did it, saying that +everybody was illogical, and that when Elinor had some one to go with +she thought herself justified at her age in this little indulgence. +Neither Elinor nor John objected to the arrangement. There are things +that can be said in a walk while both parties are in motion, and when it +is not necessary to face each other and to be subjected each to the +other's examination of feature and expression. It is easier in this way +to say many things, to ask questions which might be embarrassing, to +receive the fire of an examination which it might be otherwise difficult +to meet. Thus the two had not walked above half the way to church, +which was on the other edge of the combe, and stood, a lovely old +place--but not the trim and restored and well-decorated edifice it is +nowadays--tinkling its little bells into the sweet moorland air, amid +such a hum of innumerable bees as seemed to make the very sunshine a +vehicle for sound--before John began to perceive that he was being +ingeniously driven to revelations which he had never intended, by a +process for which he was not at all prepared. She who had been so +indignant last night and determined not to allow a word to be said +against the immaculate honour of the man she loved, was now--was it +possible?--straining all her faculties to obtain from him, whom she +would not permit to be Phil Compton's judge, such unguarded admissions +as would enlighten her as to what Phil Compton was accused of. It was +some time before John perceived her aim; he did not even grasp the idea +at first that this girl whose whole heart was set upon marrying Phil +Compton, and defying for his sake every prophecy of evil and all the +teachings of prudence, did not indeed at all know what it was which Phil +had been supposed to have done. Had she been a girl in society she could +scarcely have avoided some glimmerings of knowledge. She would have +heard an unguarded word here and there, a broken phrase, an expression +of scorn or dislike, she might even have heard that most unforgettable +of nicknames, the dis-Honourable Phil. But Elinor, who was not in +society, heard none of these things. She had been warned in the first +fervour of her betrothal that he was not a man she ought to marry, but +why? nobody had told her; how was she to know? + +"You don't like Lady Mariamne, John?" + +"It matters very little whether I like her or not: we don't meet once in +a year." + +"It will matter if you are to be in a kind of way connected. What has +she ever done that you shouldn't like her? She is very nice at home; +she has three nice little children. It's quite pretty to see her with +them." + +"Ah, I daresay; it's pretty to see a tiger with her cubs, I don't +doubt." + +"What do you mean, John? What has she ever done?" + +"I cannot tell you, Elinor; nothing perhaps. She does not take my fancy: +that's all." + +"That's not all; you could never be so unjust and so absurd. How +dreadful you good people are! Pretending to mean kindness," she cried, +"you put the mark of your dislike upon people, and then you won't say +why. What have _they_ done?" + +It was this "they" that put John upon his guard. Hitherto she had only +been asking about the sister, who did not matter so very much. If a man +was to be judged by his sister! but "they" gave him a new light. + +"Can't you understand, Elinor," he said, "that without doing anything +that can be built upon, a woman may set herself in a position of enmity +to the world, her hand against every one, and every one's hand against +her?" + +"I know that well enough--generally because she does not comply with +every conventional rule, but does and thinks what commends itself to +her; I do that myself--so far as I can with mamma behind me." + +"You! the question has nothing to do with you." + +"Why not with me as much as with another of my family?" said Elinor, +throwing back her head. + +He turned round upon her with something like a snort of indignation: she +to be compared--but Elinor met his eyes with scornful composure and +defiance, and John was obliged to calm himself. "There's no analogy," +he said; "Lady Mariamne is an old campaigner. She's up to everything. +Besides, a sister-in-law--if it comes to that--is not a very near +relation. No one will judge you by her." He would not be led into any +discussion of the other, whose name, alas! Elinor intended to bear. + +"If it comes to that. Perhaps you think," said Elinor, with a smile of +fine scorn, "that you will prevent it ever coming to that?" + +"Oh, no," he said, "I'm very humble; I don't think much of my own powers +in that way: nothing that I can do will affect it, if Providence doesn't +take it in hand." + +"You really think it's a big enough thing to invoke Providence about?" + +"If Providence looks after the sparrows as we are told," said John, "it +certainly may be expected to step in to save a nice girl like you, +Nelly, from--from connections you'll soon get to hate--and--and a shady +man!" + +She turned upon him with sparkling eyes in a sudden blaze of indignation. +"How dare you! how dare you!" + +"I dare a great deal more than that to save you. You must hear me, +Nelly: they're all badly spoken of, not one, but all. They are a shady +lot--excuse a man's way of talking. I don't know what other words to +use--partly from misfortune, but more from---- Nelly, Nelly, how could +you, a high-minded, well-brought-up girl like you, tolerate that?" + +She turned upon him again, breathing hard with restrained rage and +desperation; evidently she was at a loss for words to convey her +indignant wrath: and at last in sheer inability to express the vehemence +of her feelings she fastened on one word and repeated "well-brought-up!" +in accents of scorn. + +"Yes," said John, "my aunt and you may not always understand each other, +but she's proved her case to every fair mind by yourself, Elinor. A girl +could not be better brought up than you've been: and you could not put +up with it, not unless you changed your nature as well as your name." + +"With what?" she said, "with what?" They had gone up and down the +sloping sides of the combe, through the rustling copse, sometimes where +there was a path, sometimes where there was none, treading over the +big bushes of ling and the bell-heather, all bursting into bloom, past +groups of primeval firs and seedling beeches, self-sown, over little +hillocks and hollows formed of rocks or big old roots of trees covered +with the close glittering green foliage and dark blue clusters of the +dewberry, with the hum of bees filling the air, the twittering of the +birds, the sound of the church bells--nothing more like the heart of +summer, more peaceful, genial, happy than that brooding calm of nature +amid all the harmonious sounds, could be. + +But as Elinor put this impatient question, her countenance all ablaze +with anger and vehemence and resolution, yet with a gleam of anxiety in +the puckers of her forehead and the eyes which shone from beneath them, +they stepped out upon the road by which other groups were passing, all +bound towards the centre of the church and its tinkling bells. Elinor +stopped, and drew a longer panting breath, and gave him a look of +fierce reproach, as if this too were his fault: and then she smoothed +her ruffled plumes, after the manner of women, and replied to the +Sunday-morning salutations, with the smiles and nods of use and wont. +She knew everybody, both the rich and the poor, or rather I should say +the well-off and the less-well-off, for there were neither rich nor +poor, formally speaking, on Windyhill. John did not find it so easy to +put his emotions in his pocket. He cast an admiring glance upon her as +with heightened colour and a little panting of the breath, but no other +sign of disturbance, she made her inquiries after this one's mother and +that one's child. It was wonderful to him to see how the storm was got +under in a moment. An occasional glance aside at himself from the corner +of her eye, a sort of dart of defiance as if to bid him remember that +she was not done with him, was shot at John from time to time over the +heads of the innocent country people in whom she pretended to be so much +interested. Pretended!--was it pretence, or was the one as real as the +other? He heard her promising to come to-morrow to see an invalid, to +send certain articles as soon as she got home, to look up certain books. +Would she do so? or was all this a mere veil to cover the other which +engaged all her soul? + +And then there came the service--that soothing routine of familiar +prayers, which the lips of men and women absorbed in the violence and +urgency of life murmur over almost without knowing, with now and then an +awakening to something that touches their own aspirations, to something +that offers or that asks for help. "Because there is none other that +fighteth for us but only Thou, O God." That seems to the careless soul +such a _non sequitur_, as if peace was asked for, only because there +was none other to fight; but to the man heavily laden, what a cry out +of the depths! Because there is none other--all resources gone, all +possibilities: but one that fighteth for us, standing fast, always the +champion of the perplexed, the overborne, the weak. John was a little +careless in this respect, as so many young men are. He thought most of +the music when he joined the fashionable throng in the Temple Church. +But there was no music to speak of at Windyhill. There was more sound of +the bees outside, and the birds and the sighing bass of the fir-trees +than of anything more carefully concerted. The organ was played with a +curious drone in it, almost like that of the primitive bagpipe. But +there was that one phrase, a strong strain of human appeal, enough to +lift the world, nay, to let itself go straight to the blue heavens: +"Because there is none other that fighteth for us but only Thou, O God." + +Mr. Hudson preached his little sermon like a discord in the midst. What +should he have preached it for, that little sermon, which was only +composed because he could not help himself, which was about nothing in +heaven or earth? John gave it a sort of partial attention because he +could not help it, partly in wonder to think how a sensible man like Mr. +Hudson could account to himself for such strange little interruption of +the natural sequence of high human emotion. What theory had he in his +mind? This was a question John was fond of putting to himself, with +perhaps an idea peculiar to a lawyer, that every man must be thinking +what he is about, and be able to produce a clear reason, and, as it +were, some theory of the meaning of his own actions--which everybody +must know is nonsense. For the Rector of course preached just because it +was in his day's work, and the people would have been much surprised, +though possibly much relieved, had he not done so--feeling that to +listen was in the day's work too, and to be gone through doggedly as a +duty. John thought how much better it would be to have some man who +could preach now and then when he had something to say, instead of +troubling the Rector, who, good man, had nothing. But it is not to be +supposed that he was thinking this consecutively while the morning +went on. It flitted through his mind from time to time among his many +thinkings about the Compton family and Elinor; poor Nelly, standing upon +the edge of that precipice and the helplessness of every one to save +her, and the great refrain like the peal of an organ going through +everything, "None other that fighteth for us but only Thou, O God." +Surely, surely to prevent this sacrifice He would interfere. + +She turned to him the moment they were out of the church doors with +that same look of eager defiance yet demand, and as soon as they left +the road, the first step into the copse, putting out her hand to +call his attention: "You said I could not put up with it, a girl so +well-brought-up as I am. What is it a well-brought-up girl can't put +up with? A disorderly house, late hours, and so forth, hateful to the +well-brought-up? What is it, what is it, John?" + +"Have you been thinking of that all through the morning prayers?" he +said. + +"Yes, I have been thinking about it. What did you expect me to think +about? Is there anything else so important? Mr. Hudson's sermon, +perhaps, which I have heard before, which I suppose _you_ listened to," +she said, with a troubled laugh. + +"I did a little, wondering how a good man like that could go on doing +it; and there were other things----" John did not like to say what it +was which was still throbbing through the air to him, and through his +own being. + +"Nothing that is of so much moment to me: come back, John, to the +well-brought-up girl." + +"You think that's a poor sort of description, Elinor; so it is. You are +of course a great deal more than that. Still it's what one can turn to +most easily. You don't know what life is in a sort of fast house, where +there is nothing thought of but amusement or where it's a constant round +of race meetings, yachting, steeplechases--I don't know if men still +ride steeplechases--I mean that sort of thing: Monte Carlo in the winter: +betting all the year round--if not on one thing then on another; +expedients to raise money, for money's always wanted. You don't +know--how can you know?--what goes on in a fast life." + +"Don't you see, John," she cried, eagerly, "that all that, if put in a +different way not to their prejudice, if put in the right way would +sound delightful? There is no harm in these things at all. Betting's not +a sin in the Bible any more than races are. Don't you see it's only the +abuse of them that's wrong? One might ruin one's health, I believe, with +tea, which is the most righteous thing! I should like above all things a +yacht, say in the Mediterranean, and to go to Monte Carlo, which is a +beautiful place, and where there is the best music in the world, besides +the gambling. I should like even to see the gambling once in a way, +for the fun of the thing. You don't frighten me at all. I have been a +fortnight at Lady Mariamne's, and the continual 'go' was delightful; +there was never a dull moment. As for expedients to raise money, +_there_----" + +"To be sure--old Prestwich is as rich as Croesus--or was," said John, +with significance, "but you are not going to live with Lady Mariamne, I +suppose." + +"Oh, John!" she cried, "oh, John!" suddenly seizing him by the arm, +clasping her hands on it in the pretty way of earnestness she had, +though one hand held her parasol, which was inconvenient. The soft face +was suffused with rosy colour, so different from the angry red, the +flush of love and tenderness--her eyes swam in liquid light, looking up +with mingled happiness and entreaty to John's face. "Fancy what he says, +that he will not object to come here for half the year to let me be with +my mother! Remember what he is, a man of fashion, and fond of the world, +and of going out and all that. He has consented to come, nay, he almost +offered to come for six months in the year to be with mamma." + +"Good heavens," cried John to himself, "he must indeed be down on his +luck!" but what he said was, "Does your mother know of this, Elinor?" + +"I have not told her yet. I have reserved it to hear first what you had +to say: and so far as I can make out you have nothing at all to say, +only general things, disapproval in the general. What should you say if +I told you that he disapproves too? He said himself that there had been +too much of all that--that he had backed something--isn't that what you +say?--backed it at odds, and stood to win what he calls a pot of money. +But after that was decided--for he said he could not be off bets that +were made--never any more. Now that I know you have nothing more to say +my heart is free, and I can tell you. He has never really liked that +sort of life, but was led into it when he was very young. And now as +soon as--we are together, you know"--she looked so bright, so sweet in +the happiness of her love, that John could have flung her from his arms, +and felt that she insulted him by that clinging hold--"he means to turn +entirely to serious things, and to go into politics, John." + +"Oh, he is going into politics!" + +"Of course, on the people's side--to do everything for them--Home Rule, +and all that is best: to see that they are heard in Parliament, and have +their wants attended to, instead of jobs and corruption everywhere. So +you will see, John, that if he has been fast, and gone a little too +far, and been very much mixed up in the Turf, and all that, it was only +in the exuberance of youth, liking the fun of it, as I feel I should +myself. But that now, now all that is to be changed when he steps into +settled, responsible life. I should not have told you if you had +repeated the lies that people say. But as you did not, but only found +fault with him for being fast----" + +"Then you have heard--what people say?" He shifted his arm a little, +so that she instinctively perceived that the affectionate clasp of her +hands was no longer agreeable to him, and his face seemed suddenly to +have become a blank page, absolutely devoid of all expression. He kicked +vigorously at one of the hillocks he had stumbled against, as if he +thought he could dislodge it and get it out of his way. + +"Mariamne told me there was a lot of lies--that people said--I am so +glad, John, oh! so thankful, that you have not repeated any of them; +for now I can feel you are my own good John, as you always were, not a +slanderer of any one, and we can go on being fond of each other like +brother and sister. I have told him you have been the best of brothers +to me." + +"Oh," said John, without a sign of wonder or admiration in him, with a +dead blank in his face. + +"And what do you think he said? 'Then I know he must be a capital +fellow, Ne----'" + +"Not Nelly," said poor John, with a foolish pang that seemed to rend his +heart. Oh, if that scamp, that cheat, that low betting, card-playing +rascal were but here! he would capital-fellow him. To take not herself +only, but the dear pet name that she had said was only John's---- + +"He says Nell sometimes, John. Oh, not Nelly--Nelly is for you only. I +would never let him call me that. But they are all for short names, +one syllable--he is Phil, and Mariamne, well at home they call her +Jew--horrible, isn't it?--because she was called after some Jewess; but +somehow it seems queer when you see her, so fair and frizzy, like +anything but a Jew." + +"So I have got one letter to myself," said John. "I don't know that I +think that worth very much, however. And so far as I can see, you seem +to think everything very fine--the bets, perhaps, and the rows and all." + +"Well they are, you know," said Elinor, with a laugh, "to a little +country mouse like me that has never seen anything. There is always +something going on, and their slang way of speaking is certainly very +amusing if it is not at all dignified, and they have such droll ways of +looking at things. All so entirely different! Don't you know, John, +sometimes in one's life one longs for something to be quite different. A +complete change, anything new." + +"If that is what you long for, no doubt you will get it, Elinor." + +"Well!" she cried, "I have had the other for three-and-twenty years, +long enough to have exhausted it, don't you think? but I don't mean +to throw it over, oh, no! Coming back to mamma makes the arrangement +perfect. Probably in the end it is the old life, the life I was brought +up in that I shall like best in the long run. That is one thing of being +well brought up. Phil will laugh till he cries when I tell him of your +description of me as a well-brought-up girl." + +John set his teeth as he walked or rather stumbled along by her side, +catching in the roots of the trees as he had never done before, and +swearing under his breath. Her flutter of talk running on, delighted, +full of laughter and softness, as if he had fully declared his +satisfaction and was interested in every detail, kept John in a state +of suppressed fury which made his countenance dark, and almost took the +sight from his eyes. He did not know how to escape from that false +position, nor did she give him time, she had so much to say. Mrs. +Dennistoun looked anxiously at the pair as they came up through the +copse to the level of the cottage. There were no enclosures in that +primitive place. From the copse you came straight into the garden with +its banks of flowers. She was seated near the cottage door in a corner +sheltered from the sun, with a number of books about her. But I don't +think she had read anything except some portions of the lessons in the +morning service. She had been sitting with her eyes vaguely fixed upon +the horizon and her hands clasped in her lap, and a heavy shadow like an +overhanging cloud upon her mind. But when she heard Elinor's voice +approaching so gay and tuneful her heart rose a little. John evidently +could have had nothing very bad to say. Elinor had been satisfied +with the morning. Mrs. Dennistoun had expected to see them come back +estranged and silent. The conclusion she drew was entirely satisfactory. +After all John must have been moved solely by general disapproval, which +is so very different from the dreadful hints and warnings that might +mean any criminality. Elinor was talking to him as freely as she had +done before this spectre rose. It must, Mrs. Dennistoun concluded, be +all right. + +It was not till he was going away that she had an opportunity of talking +with him alone. Her satisfaction, it must be allowed, had been a little +subdued by John's demeanour during the afternoon and evening. But Mrs. +Dennistoun had said to herself that there might be other ways of +accounting for this. She had long had a fancy that John was more +interested in Elinor than he had confessed himself to be. It had been +her conviction that as soon as he felt it warrantable, as soon as he +was sufficiently well-established, and his practice secured, he would +probably declare himself, with, she feared, no particular issue so far +as Elinor was concerned. And perhaps he was disappointed, poor fellow, +which was a very natural explanation of his glum looks. But at breakfast +on Monday Elinor announced her intention of driving her cousin to the +station, and went out to see that the pony was harnessed, an operation +which took some time, for the pony was out in the field and had to be +caught, and the man of all work, who had a hundred affairs to look +after, had to be caught too to perform this duty; which sometimes, +however, Elinor performed herself, but always with some expenditure of +time. Mrs. Dennistoun seized the opportunity, plunging at once into the +all-important subject. + +"You seemed to get on all right together yesterday, John, so I suppose +you found that after all there was not very much to say." + +"I was not allowed to say----anything. You mean----" + +"Oh, John, John, do you mean to tell me after all----" + +"Aunt Ellen," he said, "stop it if you can; if there is any means in the +world by which you can stop it, do so. I can't bring accusations against +the man, for I couldn't prove them. I only know what everybody knows. He +is not a man fit for Elinor to marry. He is not fit to touch the tie of +her shoe." + +"Oh, don't trouble me with your superlatives, John. Elinor is a good +girl and a clever girl, but not a lady of romance. Is there anything +really against him? Tell me, for goodness' sake! Even with these few +words you have made me very unhappy," Mrs. Dennistoun said, in a half +resentful tone. + +"I can't help it," said the unfortunate man, "I can't bring accusations, +as I tell you. He is simply a scamp--that is all I know." + +"A scamp!" said Mrs. Dennistoun, with a look of alarm. "But then that is +a word that has so many meanings. A scamp may be only a careless fellow, +nice in his way. That is not enough to break off a marriage for. And, +John, as you have said so much, you must say more." + +"I have no more to say, that's all I know. Inquire what the Hudsons have +heard. Stop it if you can." + +"Oh, dear, dear, here is Elinor back already," Mrs. Dennistoun said. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + +The next time that John's presence was required at the cottage was for +the signing of the very simple settlements; which, as there was nothing +or next to nothing in the power of the man to settle upon his wife, +were easy enough. He met Mr. Lynch, who was Mrs. Dennistoun's "man of +business," and a sharp London solicitor, who was for the husband. +Elinor's fortune was five thousand pounds, no more, not counting her +expectations from him, which were left out of the question. It was a +very small matter altogether, and one which the smart solicitor who was +in Mr. Compton's interest spoke of with a certain contempt, as who +should say he was not in the habit of being disturbed and brought to the +country for any such trifle. It was now August--not a time when any man +was supposed to be available for matters like these. Mr. Lynch was just +about starting for his annual holiday, but came, at no small personal +inconvenience, to do his duty by the poor girl whom he had known all his +life. John and he travelled to the cottage together, and their aspect +was not cheerful. "Did you ever hear," said Mr. Lynch, "such a piece of +folly as this--a man with no character at all? This is what it is to +leave a girl in the sole care of her mother. What does a woman know +about such things?" + +"I don't think it was her mother's fault," said John, anxious to do +justice all round. "Elinor is very head-strong, and when she has made up +her mind to a thing----" + +"A bit of a girl!" said Mr. Lynch, contemptuously. He was an old bachelor +and knew nothing about the subject, as the reader will perceive. "Her +mother ought never to have permitted it for a moment. She should have +put down her foot: and then Miss Elinor would soon have come to reason. +What I wonder is the ruffian's own motives? for it can't be a little bit +of money like that. Five thousand's a mere mouthful to such a man as he +is. He'll get rid of it all in a week." + +"It must be tied up as tight as possible," said John. + +Here Mr. Lynch faltered a little. "She has got an idea into her head, +with the intention, I don't doubt, of defrauding herself if she can. He +has got some investment for it, it appears. He is on the board of some +company--a pretty board to take in such a fellow? But the Honourable is +always something, I suppose." + +John did not say the _dis_-Honourable, though it trembled on the edge of +his tongue. "But you will not permit that?" he said. + +"No, no; we will not permit it," said Mr. Lynch, with an emphasis on the +negative which sounded like failing resolution. + +"That would be giving the lamb to the wolf with a vengeance." + +"Exactly what I said; exactly what I said. I am very glad, Mr. Tatham, +that you take the same view." + +"There is but one view to be taken," said John. "He must not have the +slightest power over her money. It must be tied up as tight as the law +can do it; not that I think it of the least consequence," he added. "Of +course, he will get it all from her one way or another. Law's but a poor +barrier against a determined man." + +"I'm glad you see that too," said Mr. Lynch, "and you might say a +determined woman: for she has set her mind on this, and we'll have a +nice business with her, I can see." + +"A bit of a girl!" said John, with a laugh, echoing the previous +sentiment. + +"That's very true," said the old lawyer; "and still I think her +mother--but I don't put any great confidence in my own power to resist +Elinor. Poor little thing, I've known her since she was _that_ high; +indeed, I may say I knew her before she was born. And you are a +relation, Mr. Tatham?" + +"Third or fourth cousin." + +"But still, more intimate than a person unconnected with them, and able +to speak your mind more freely. I wonder now that you never said +anything. But in family matters sometimes one is very reluctant to +interfere." + +"I said everything I could say, not to offend them mortally; but I could +only tell them the common talk of society. I told my aunt he was a +scamp: but after the first shock I am not sure that she thought that was +any such bad thing. It depended upon the sense you put upon the word, +she said." + +"Oh, women, women!" said Mr. Lynch. "That's their way--a reformed rake +makes the best husband. It's an old-fashioned sentiment, but it's in the +background of their minds, a sort of tradition that they can't shake +off--or else the poor fellow has had so many disadvantages, and they +think they can make it all right. It's partly ignorance and partly +vanity. But they are all the same, and their ways in the matter of +marriage are not to be made out." + +"You have a great deal of experience." + +"Experience--oh, don't speak of it!" said the old gentleman. "A man has +a certain idea of the value of money, however great a fool he may be, +but the women----" + +"And yet they are said to stick to money, and to be respectful of it +beyond anything but a miser. I have myself remarked----" + +"In small matters," said Mr. Lynch, "in detail--sixpences to railway +porters and that sort of thing--so people say at least. But a sum of +money on paper has no effect on a woman, she will sign it away with a +wave of her hand. It doesn't touch their imagination. Five pounds in her +pocket is far more than five thousand on paper, to Elinor, for instance. +I wish," cried the old gentleman, with a little spitefulness, "that this +Married Women's Property Bill would push on and get itself made law. It +would save us a great deal of trouble, and perhaps convince the world at +the last how little able they are to be trusted with property. A nice +mess they will make of it, and plenty of employment for young +solicitors," he said, rubbing his hands. + +For this was before that important bill was passed, which has not had +(like so many other bills) the disastrous consequences which Mr. Lynch +foresaw. + +They were met at the station by the pony carriage, and at the door by +Elinor herself, who came flying out to meet them. She seized Mr. Lynch +by both arms, for he was a little old man, and she was bigger than he +was. + +"Now you will remember what I said," she cried in his ear, yet not so +low but that John heard it too. + +"You are a little witch; you mustn't insist upon anything so foolish. +Leave all that to me, my dear," said Mr. Lynch. "What do you know about +business? You must leave it to me and the other gentleman, who I suppose +is here, or coming." + +"He is here, but I don't care for him. I care only for you. There are +such advantages: and I do know a great deal about business; and," she +said, with her mouth close to the old lawyer's ear, "it will please Phil +so much if I show my confidence in him, and in the things with which he +has to do." + +"It will not please him so much if the thing bursts, and you are left +without a penny, my dear." + +Elinor laughed. "I don't suppose he will mind a bit: he cares nothing +for money. But I do," she said. "You know you always say women love +acquisition. I want good interest, and of course with Phil on it, it +must be safe for me." + +"Oh, that makes it like the Bank of England, you think! but I don't +share your confidence, my pretty Elinor. I'm an old fellow. No Phil in +the world has any charm for me. You must trust me to do what I feel is +best for you. And Mr. Tatham here is quite of my opinion." + +"Oh, John! he is sure to be against me," said Elinor, with an angry +glimmer in her eyes. She had not as yet taken any notice of him while +she welcomed with such warmth his old companion. And John had stood by +offering no greeting, with his bag in his hand. But when she said this +the quick feeling girl was seized with compunction. She turned from Mr. +Lynch and held out both her hands to her cousin. "John, I didn't mean +that; it is only that I am excited and cross. And don't, oh, don't go +against me," she cried. + +"I never did, and never will, Elinor," he said gravely. Then he asked, +after a moment, "Is Mr. Compton here?" + +"No; how could he be here? Three gentlemen in the cottage is enough to +overwhelm us already. Mr. Sharp, fortunately, can't stay," she added, +lowering her voice; "he has to be driven back to the station to catch +the last express. And it is August," she said with a laugh; "you forget +the 15th. Now, could Phil be anywhere but where there is grouse? You +shall have some to dinner to-night that fell by his gun. That should +mollify you, for I am sure you never got grouse at the cottage before +in August. Mamma would as soon think of buying manna for you to eat." + +"I think it would have been more respectful, Elinor, if he had been +here. What is grouse to you?" + +"Then I don't think anything of the kind," cried Elinor. "He is much +better away. And I assure you, John, I never mean to put myself in +competition with the grouse." + +The old lawyer had gone into the drawing-room, where Mrs. Dennistoun was +holding parley with Mr. Sharp. Elinor and John were standing alone in +the half light of the summer evening, the sun down, the depths of the +combe below falling into faint mist, but the sunset-tinted clouds still +floating like a vapour made of roses upon the clearness of the blue +above. "Come and take a turn through the copse," said John. "They don't +want either of us indoors." + +She went with a momentary reluctance and a glance back at the bow-window +of the drawing-room, from which the sound of voices issued. "Don't you +think I should be there to keep them up to the mark?" she said, half +laughing. And then, "Well, yes--as you are going to Switzerland too. I +think you might have stayed and seen me married after all, and made +acquaintance with Phil." + +"I thought I should have met him here to-day, Elinor." + +"Now, how could you? You know the accommodation of the cottage just as +well as I do. We have two spare rooms, and no more." + +"You could have sent me out somewhere to sleep. That has been done +before now." + +"Oh, John, how persistent you are, and worrying! When I tell you that +Phil is shooting, as everybody of his kind is--do you think I want him +to give up all the habits of his life? He is not like us: we adapt +ourselves: but these people parcel out their time as if they were in a +trade, don't you know? So long in London, so long abroad, and in the +Highlands for the grouse, and somewhere else for the partridges, or they +would die." + +"I think he might have departed from that routine once in a way, Elinor, +for you." + +"I tell you again, John, I shall never put myself in competition"--Elinor +stopped abruptly, with perhaps, he thought, a little glimmer of +indignation in her eyes. "I hate women who do that sort of thing," she +cried. "'Give up your cigar--or me,' as I've heard girls say. Such an +unworthy thing! When one accepts a man one accepts him as he stands, +with all his habits. What should I think of him if he said, 'Give up +your tea--or me!' I should laugh in his face and throw him overboard +without a pause." + +"You would never look at tea again as long as you lived if he did not +like it; I suppose that is what you mean, Elinor?" + +"Perhaps if I found that out, afterwards; but to be given the choice +beforehand, never! After all, you don't half know me, John." + +"Perhaps not," he said, gravely. They had left the garden behind in +its blaze of flowers, and strayed off into the subdued twilight of the +copse, where everything was in a half tone of greenness and shadow and +waning light. "There are always new lights arising on a many-sided +creature like you--and that makes one think. Do you know you are not at +all the person to take a great disappointment quietly, if that should +happen to come to you in your life?" + +"A great disappointment?" she said, looking up at him with a wondering +glance. Then he thought the colour paled a little in her face. "No," she +said, "I don't suppose I should take it quietly. Who does?" + +"Oh, many people--people with less determination and more patience than +you. You are not very patient by nature, Elinor." + +"I never said I was." + +"And though no one would give up more generously, as a voluntary matter, +you could not bear being made a nonentity of, or put in a secondary +place." + +"I should not like it, I suppose." + +"You would give everything, flinging it away; but to have all your +sacrifices taken for granted, your tastes made of no account----" + +There was no doubt now that she had grown pale. "May I ask what all +these investigations into my character mean? I never was so anatomized +before." + +"It was only to say that you are not a good subject for this kind of +experiment, Elinor. I don't see you putting up with things, making the +best of everything, submitting to have your sense of right and wrong +outraged perhaps. Some women would not be much disturbed by that. They +would put off the responsibility and feel it their duty to accept +whatever was put before them. But you--it would be a different matter +with you." + +"I should hope so, if I was ever exposed to such dangers. But now may +I know what you are driving at, John, for you have some meaning in what +you say!" + +He took her hand and drew it through his arm. He was in more moved than +he wished to show. "Only this, Elinor,"--he said. + +"Oh, John, will you never call me Nelly any more?" + +"Only this, Nelly, my little Nelly, never mine again--and that never was +mine, except in my silly thought. Only this: that if you have the least +doubt, the smallest flutter of an uncertainty, just enough to make you +hold your breath for a moment, oh, my dear girl, stop! Don't go on with +it; pause until you can make sure." + +"John!" she forced her arm from his with an indignant movement. "Oh, how +do you dare to say it?" she said. "Doubt of Mr. Compton! Uncertainty +about Phil!" She laughed out, and the echo seemed to ring into all the +recesses of the trees. "I would be much more ready to doubt myself," she +said. + +"Doubt yourself; that is what I mean. Think if you are not deceiving +yourself. I don't think you are so very sure as you believe you are, +Nelly. You don't feel so certain----" + +"Do you know that you are insulting me, John? You say as much as that I +am a fool carried away by a momentary enthusiasm, with no real love, no +true feeling in me, tempted, perhaps, as Mrs. Hudson thinks, by the +Honourable!" Her lip quivered, and the fading colour came back in a rush +to her face. "It is hard enough to have a woman like that think it, who +ought to know better, who has always known me--but you, John!" + +"You may be sure, Elinor, that I did not put it on that ground." + +"No, perhaps: but on ground not much more respectful to me--perhaps that +I have been fascinated by a handsome man, which is not considered +derogatory. Oh, John, a girl does not give herself away on an argument +like that. I may be hasty and self-willed and impatient, as you say; but +when you--love!" Her face flushed like a rose, so that even in the grey +of the evening it shone out like one of the clouds full of sunset that +still lingered on the sky. A few quick tears followed, the natural +consequence of her emotion. And then she turned to him with the ineffable +condescension of one farther advanced in life stooping sweetly to his +ignorance. "You have not yet come to the moment in your experience when +you can understand that, dear John." + +Oh, the insight and the ignorance, the knowledge and the absence of all +perception! He, too, laughed out, as she had done, with a sense of the +intolerable ridicule and folly and mistake. "Perhaps that's how it is," +he said. + +Elinor looked at him gravely, in an elder-sisterly, profoundly-investigating +way, and then she took his arm quietly and turned towards home. "I shall +forget what you have said, and you will forget that you ever said it; +and now we will go home, John, and be just the same dear friends as +before." + +"Will you promise me," he said, "that whatever happens, without pride, +or recollection of what I've been so foolish as to say, in any need +or emergency, or whenever you want anything, or if you should be in +trouble--trouble comes to everybody in this life--you will remember what +you have said just now, and send for your cousin John?" + +Her whole face beamed out in one smile, she clasped her other hand +round his arm; "I should have done it without being asked, without ever +doubting for a moment, because it was the most natural thing in the +world. Whom should I turn to else if not to my dear old---- But call me +Nelly, John." + +"Dear little Nelly!" he said with faltering voice, "then that is a +bargain." + +She held up her cheek to him, and he kissed it solemnly in the shadow of +the little young oak that fluttered its leaves wistfully in the breeze +that was getting up--and then very soberly, saying little, they walked +back to the cottage. He was going abroad for his vacation, not saying to +himself even that he preferred not to be present at the wedding, but +resigning himself to the necessity, for it was not to be till the middle +of September, and it would be breaking up his holiday had he to come +back at that time. So this little interview was a leave-taking as well +as a solemn engagement for all the risks and dangers of life. The pain +in it, after that very sharp moment in the copse, was softened down into +a sadness not unsweet, as they came silently together from out of the +shadow into the quiet hemisphere of sky and space, which was over the +little centre of the cottage with its human glimmer of fire and lights. +The sky was unusually clear, and among those soft, rose-tinted clouds of +the sunset, which were no clouds at all, had risen a young crescent of a +moon, just about to disappear, too, in the short course of one of her +earliest nights. They lingered for a moment before they went indoors. +The depth of the combe was filled with the growing darkness, but the +ridges above were still light and softly edged with the silver of the +moon, and the distant road, like a long, white line, came conspicuously +into sight, winding for a little way along the hill-top unsheltered, +before it plunged into the shadow of the trees--the road that led into +the world, by which they should both depart presently to stray into such +different ways. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + +The drawing-room after dinner always looked cheerful. Perhaps the fact +that it was a sort of little oasis in the desert, and that the light +from those windows shone into three counties, made the interior more +cosy and bright. (There are houses now upon every knoll, and the wind +cannot blow on Windyhill for the quantity of obstructions it meets +with.) There was the usual log burning on the hearth, and the party in +general kept away from it, for the night was warm. Only Mr. Sharp, the +London lawyer, was equal to bearing the heat. He stood with his back to +it, and his long legs showing against the glow behind, a sharp-nosed, +long man in black, who had immediately suggested Mephistopheles to +Elinor, even though he was on the Compton side. He had taken his coffee +after dinner, and now he stood over the fire slowly sipping a cup of +tea. There was a look of acquisitiveness about him which suggested an +inclination to appropriate anything from the unnecessary heat of the +fire to the equally unnecessary tea. But Mr. Sharp had been on the +winning side. He had demonstrated the superior sense of making the +money--which was not large enough sum to settle--of real use to the +young pair by an investment which would increase Mr. Compton's +importance in his company, besides producing very good dividends--much +better dividends than would be possible if it were treated in the +old-fashioned way by trustees. This was how the bride wished it, which +was the most telling of arguments: and surely, to insure good interest +and an increase of capital to her, through her husband's hands, was +better than to secure some beggarly hundred and fifty pounds a year for +her portion, though without any risks at all. + +Mr. Sharp had also taken great pains to point out that there were only +three brothers--one an invalid and the other two soldiers--between Mr. +Phil and the title, and that even to be the Honourable Mrs. Compton was +something for a young lady, who was, if he might venture to say so, +nobody--not to say a word against her charms. Lord St. Serf was hourly +getting an old man, and the chances that his client might step over a +hecatomb of dead relations to the height of fortune was a thing quite +worth taking into account. It was a much better argument, however, to +return to the analogy of other poor young people, where the bride's +little fortune would be put into the husband's business, and thus +their joint advantage considered. Mr. Sharp, at the same time, did not +hesitate to express politely his opinion that to call him down to the +country for a discussion which could have been carried on much better +in one or other of their respective offices was a most uncalled for +proceeding, especially as even now the other side was wavering, and +would not consent to conclude matters, and make the signatures that were +necessary at once. Mr. Lynch, it must be allowed, was of the same +opinion too. + +"Your country is a little bleak at night," said Mr. Sharp, partially +mollified by a good dinner, but beginning to remember unpleasantly the +cold drive in a rattletrap of a little rustic pony carriage over the +hills and hollows. "Do you really remain here all the year? How wonderful! +Not even a glimpse of the world in summer, or a little escape from the +chills in winter? How brave of you! What patience and powers of +endurance must be cultivated in that way!" + +"One would think Windyhill was Siberia at least," said Mrs. Dennistoun, +laughing; "we do not give ourselves credit for all these fine +qualities." + +"Some people are heroes--or heroines--without knowing it," said Mr. +Sharp, with a bow. + +"And yet," said the mother, with a little indignation, "there was some +talk of Mr. Compton doing me the honour to share my hermitage for a part +of the year." + +"Mr. Compton! my dear lady! Mr. Compton would die of it in a week," said +Mr. Sharp. + +"I am quite well aware of it," said Mrs. Dennistoun; and she added, +after a pause, "so should I." + +"What a change it will be for your daughter," said Mr. Sharp. "She will +see everything that is worth seeing. More in a month than she would see +here in a dozen years. Trust Mr. Compton for knowing all that's worth +going after. They have all an instinct for life that is quite remarkable. +There's Lady Mariamne, who has society at her feet, and the old lord is +a most remarkable old gentleman. Your daughter, Mrs. Dennistoun, is a +very fortunate young lady. She has my best congratulations, I am sure." + +"Sharp," said Mr. Lynch from the background, "you had better be thinking +of starting, if you want to catch that train." + +"I'll see if the pony is there," said John. + +Mr. Sharp put down his teacup with precipitation. "Is it as late as +that?" he cried. + +"It is the last train," said Mrs. Dennistoun, with great satisfaction. +"And I am afraid, if you missed it, as the house is full, there would be +nothing but a bed at the public-house to offer----" + +"Oh, not another word," the lawyer said: and fortunately he never knew +how near that rising young man at the bar, John Tatham, who had every +object in conciliating a solicitor, was to a charge of manslaughter, if +killing an attorney can thus be called. But the feelings of the party +were expressed only in actions of the greatest kindness. They helped him +on with his coat, and covered him with rugs as he got in, shivering, to +the little pony carriage. It was a beautiful night, but the wind is +always a thing to be considered on Windyhill. + +"Well, that's a good thing over," said Mr. Lynch, going to the fire as +he came in from the night air at the door and rubbing his hands. + +"It would have been a relief to one's feeling to have kicked that fellow +all the way down and up the other side of the combe, and kept him warm," +said John, with a laugh of wrath. + +"It is a pity a man should have so little taste," said Mrs. Dennistoun. + +Elinor still stood where she had been standing, with every feeling in +her breast in commotion. She had not taken any part in the insidious +kindnesses of speeding the parting guest; and now she remembered that he +was her Phil's representative: whatever she might herself think of the +man, how could she join in abuse of one who represented Phil? + +"He is no worse, I suppose, than others," she said. "He was bound to +stand up for those in whose interest he was. Mr. Lynch would have made +himself quite as disagreeable for me." + +"Not I," said the old gentleman; "for what is the good of standing up +for you? You would throw me over on the first opportunity. You have +taken all the force out of my sword-arm, my dear, as it is. How can I +make myself disagreeable for those who won't stand up for themselves? I +suppose you must have it your own way." + +"Yes, I suppose it will be the best," said Mrs. Dennistoun, in subdued +tones. + +"It would come to about the same thing, however you settled it," said +John. + +Elinor looked from one to another with eyes that began to glow. "You are +a cheerful company," she said. "You speak as if you were arranging my +funeral. On the whole I think I like Mr. Sharp best; for if he was +contemptuous of me and my little bit of money, he was at all events +cheerful about the future, and that is always something; whereas you +all----" + +There was a little pause, no one responding. There was no pleasant jest, +no bright augury for Elinor. The girl's heart rose against this gloom +that surrounded her. "I think," she said, with an angry laugh, "that I +had better run after Mr. Sharp and bring him back, for he had at least a +little sympathy with me!" + +"Don't be too sure of that," said Mr. Lynch, "for if we think you are +throwing yourself away, Elinor, so does he on his side. He thinks the +Honourable Mr. Compton is going dreadfully cheap for five thousand +pounds." + +"Elinor need not take any of us _au pied de la lettre_--of course we are +all firm for our own side," said John. + +Elinor turned her head from one to another, growing pale and red by +turns. There was a certain surprise in her look, as she found herself +thus at bay. The triumph of having got the better of their opposition +was lost in the sense of isolation with which the girl, so long the +first object of everybody about her, felt herself thus placed alone. And +the tears were very ready to start, but were kept back by jealous pride +which rose to her help. Well! if they put her outside the circle she +would remain so; if they talked to her as one no longer of them, but +belonging to another life, so be it! Elinor determined that she would +make no further appeal. She would not even show how much it hurt her. +After that pale look round upon them all, she went into the corner of +the room where the piano stood, and where there was little light. She +was too proud to go out of the room, lest they should think she was +going to cry. She went with a sudden, quick movement to the piano +instead, where perhaps she might cry too, but where nobody should see. +Poor Elinor! they had made her feel alone by their words, and she made +herself more alone by this little instinctive withdrawal. She began to +play softly one thing after another. She was not a great performer. Her +little "tunes" were of the simplest--no better indeed than tunes, things +that every musician despises: they made a little atmosphere round her, a +voluntary hermitage which separated her as if she had been a hundred +miles away. + +"I wish you could have stayed for the marriage," Mrs. Dennistoun said. + +"My dear lady, it would spoil my holiday--the middle of September. +You'll have nobody except, of course, the people you have always. To +tell the truth," John added. "I don't care tuppence for my holiday. I'd +have come--like a shot: but I don't think I could stand it. She has +always been such a pet of mine. I don't think I could bear it, to tell +the truth." + +"I shall have to bear it, though she is more than a pet of mine," said +Mrs. Dennistoun. + +"I know, I know! the relatives cannot be let off--especially the mother, +who must put up with everything. I trust," said Mr. Lynch, with a sigh, +"that it may all turn out a great deal better than we hope. Where are +they going after the marriage?" + +"Some one has lent them a place--a very pretty place--on the Thames, +where they can have boating and all that--Lord Sudbury, I think. And +later they are going on a round of visits, to his father, Lord St. Serf, +and to Lady Mariamne, and to his aunt, who is Countess of--something or +other." Mrs. Dennistoun's voice was not untouched by a certain vague +pleasure in these fine names. + +"Ah," said the old lawyer, nodding his head at each, "all among the +aristocracy, I see. Well, my dear lady, I hope you will be able to find +some satisfaction in that; it is better than to fall among--nobodies at +least." + +"I hope so," said Mrs. Dennistoun, with a sigh. + +They were speaking low, and fondly hoped that they were not heard; but +Elinor's ears and every faculty were quickened and almost every word +reached her. But she was too proud to take any notice. And perhaps these +dreary anticipations, on the whole, did her good, for her heart rose +against them, and any little possible doubts in her own mind were put +to sudden flight by the opposition and determination which flooded her +heart. This made her playing a little more unsteady than usual, and she +broke down several times in the middle of a "tune;" but nobody remarked +this: they were all fully occupied with their own thoughts. + +All, at least, except John, who wandered uneasily about the room, now +studying the names of the books on the bookshelves--which he knew by +heart, now pulling the curtain aside to look out at the moonlight, now +pulling at the fronds of the great maidenhair in his distraction till +the table round was scattered with little broken leaves. He wanted to +keep out of that atmosphere of emotion which surrounded Elinor at the +piano. But it attracted him, all the same, as the light attracts a moth. +To get away from that, to make the severance which so soon must be a +perfect severance, was the only true policy he knew; for what was he to +her, and what could she be to him? He had already said everything which +a man in his position ought to say. He took out a book at last, and sat +down doggedly by the table to read, thus making another circle of +atmosphere, so to speak, another globe of isolated being in the little +room, while the two elder people talked low in the centre, conventionally +inaudible to the girl who was playing and the young man who was reading. +But John might as well have tried to solve some tremendous problem as to +read that book. He too heard every word the elders were saying. He heard +them with his own ears, and also he heard them through the ears of +Elinor, gauging the effect which every word would have upon her. At last +he could bear it no longer. He was driven to her side to bear a part of +her burden, even to prevent her from hearing, which would be something. +He resisted the impulse to throw down his book, and only placed it very +quietly on the table, and even in a deliberate way, that there might be +no appearance of feeling about him--and made his way by degrees, pausing +now and then to look at a picture, though he knew them all by heart. +Thus he arrived at last at the piano, in what he flattered himself was +an accidental way. + +"Elinor, the stars are so bright over the combe, do come out. It is not +often they are so clear." + +"No," she said, more with the movement of her lips than with any sound. + +"Why not? You can't want to play those old pieces just at this moment. +You will have plenty of time to play them to-morrow." + +She said "No" again, with a little impatient movement of her hands on +the keys and a look towards the others. + +"You are listening to what they are saying? Why should you? They don't +want you to hear. Come along, Elinor. It's far better for you not to +listen to what is not intended----" + +"Oh, go away, John." + +"I must say no in my turn. Leave the tunes till to-morrow, and come out +with me." + +"I thought," she said, roused a little, "that you were fond of music, +John." + +This brought John up suddenly in an unexpected way. "Oh, as for +that,"--he said, in a dubious tone. Poor Elinor's tunes were not music +in his sense, as she very well knew. + +She laughed in a forlorn way. "I know what you mean; but this is quite +good enough for what I shall want. I am going down, you know, to a +different level altogether. Oh, you can hear for yourself what mamma and +Mr. Lynch are saying." + +"Going up you mean, Elinor. I thought them both very complaisant over +all those titles." + +"Ah," she said, "they say that mocking. They think I am going down; so +do you, too, to the land of mere fast people, people with no sense. +Well; there is nothing but the trial will teach any of us. We shall +see." + +"It is rather a dreadful risk to run, if it's only a trial, Elinor." + +"A trial--for you, not for me--I am not the one that thinks so, except +so far as the tunes are concerned," she said with a laugh. "I confess so +far as that Lady Mariamne is fond of a comic song. I don't think she +goes any further. I shall be good enough for them in the way of music." + +"I should be content never to hear another note of music all my life, +Elinor, if----" + +"Ah, there you begin again. Not you, John, not you! I can't bear any +more. Neither stars, nor walks, nor listening; no more! This rather," +and she brought down her hands with a great crash upon the piano, making +every one start. Then Elinor rose, having produced her effect. "I think +it must be time to go to bed, mamma. John is talking of the stars, which +means that he wants his cigar, and Mr. Lynch must want just to look at +the tray in the dining-room. And you are tired by all this fuss, all +this unnatural fuss about me, that am not worth---- Come, mother, to +bed." + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + +The days in the cottage were full of excitement and of occupation during +the blazing August weather, not so much indeed as is common in many +houses in which the expectant bridegroom is always coming and going; +though perhaps the place of that exhilarating commotion was more or +less filled by the ever-present diversity of opinion, the excitement +of a subdued but never-ended conflict in which one was always on the +defensive, and the other covertly or openly attacking, or at least +believed to be so doing, the distant and unseen object to which all +their thoughts turned. Mrs. Dennistoun, indeed, was not always aggressive, +her opposition was but in fits and starts. Often her feelings of pain +and alarm were quiescent in that unfeigned and salutary interest in +clothes and necessities of preparation which is almost always a resource +to a woman's mind. It is wrong to undervalue this possibility which +compensates a woman in a small degree for some of her special troubles. +When the mother's heart was very heavy, it was often diverted a little +by the discussion of a dinner dress, or made to forget itself for the +moment in a question about the cut of a sleeve, or which would be most +becoming to Elinor of two colours for a ball gown. But though Mrs. +Dennistoun forgot often, Elinor never forgot. The dresses and "things" +generally occupied her a great deal, but not in the form of the anodyne +which they supplied to her mother. Her mind was always on the alert, +looking out for those flying arrows of warfare which your true fighter +lets fly in the most innocent conversation at the most unexpected +moments. Elinor thus flung her shield in her mother's face a hundred +times when that poor lady was thinking no evil, when she was altogether +occupied by the question of frills and laces, or whether tucks or +flounces were best, and she was startled many times by that unnecessary +rattle of Elinor's arms. "I was not thinking of Mr. Compton," she would +sometimes be driven to say; "he was not in my head at all. I was +thinking of nothing more important than that walking dress, and what you +had best wear in the afternoon when you are on those grand visits." + +There was one thing which occasioned a little discussion between them, +and that was the necessary civility of asking the neighbours to inspect +these "things" when they were finally ready. It was only the argument +that these neighbours would be Mrs. Dennistoun's sole resource when she +was left alone that made Elinor assent at last. Perhaps, however, +as she walked quickly along towards the moorland Rectory, a certain +satisfaction in showing them how little their hints had been taken, +mingled with the reluctance to admit those people who had breathed a +doubt upon the sacred name of Phil, to such a sign of intimacy. + +"I have been watching you along the side of the combe, and wondering if +it was you such a threatening day," said Alice Hudson, coming to the +door to meet her. "How nice of you to come, Elinor, when you must be so +busy, and you have not been here since--I don't know how long ago!" + +"No, I have not been here," said Elinor with a gravity worthy the bride +of a maligned man. "But the time is so near when I shall not be able to +come at all that I thought it was best. Mamma wishes you to come over +to-morrow, if you will, to see my things." + +"Oh!" the three ladies said together; and Mrs. Hudson came forward and +gave Elinor a kiss. "My dear," she said, "I take it very kind you coming +yourself to ask us. Many would not have done it after what we felt it +our duty---- But you always had a beautiful spirit, Elinor, bearing no +malice, and I hope with all my heart that it will have its reward." + +"Well, mother," said Alice, "I don't see how Elinor could do anything +less, seeing we have been such friends all our lives as girls, she and +I, and I am sure I have always been ready to give her patterns, or to +show her how a thing was done. I should have been very much disappointed +if she had not asked me to see her things." + +Mary Dale, who was Mrs. Hudson's sister, said nothing at all, but +accepted the visit as in the course of nature. Mary was the one who +really knew something about Phil Compton: but she had been against the +remonstrance which Mrs. Hudson thought it her duty to make. What was the +good? Miss Dale had said; and she had refrained from telling two or +three stories about the Comptons which would have made the hair stand +upright on the heads of the Rector and the Rectoress. She did not even +now say that it was kind, but met Elinor in silence, as, in her position +as the not important member of the family, it was quite becoming for her +to do. + +Then the Rector came in and took her by both hands, and gave her the +most friendly greeting. "I heard Elinor's voice, and I stopped in the +middle of my sermon," he said. "You will remark in church on Sunday a +jerky piece, which shows how I stopped to reflect whether it could be +you--and then went on for another sentence, and then decided that it +must be you. There is a big Elinor written across my sermon paper." He +laughed, but he was a little moved, to see, after the "coolness," the +little girl whom he had christened come back to her old friends again. + +"She has come to ask us to go and see her things, papa," said Mrs. +Hudson, twinkling an eye to get rid of a suspicion of a tear. + +"Am I to come, too?" said the Rector; and thus the little incident of +the reconciliation was got over, to the great content of all. + +Elinor reflected to herself that they were really kind people, as she +went out again into the grey afternoon where everything was getting up +for rain. She made up her mind she would just have time to run into the +Hills', at the Hurst, and leave her message, and so get home before the +storm began. The clouds lay low like a dark grey hood over the fir-trees +and moorland shaggy tops of the downs all round. There was not a break +anywhere in the consistent grey, and the air, always so brisk, had +fallen still with that ominous lull that comes over everything before +a convulsion of nature. Some birds were still hurrying home into the +depths of the copses with a frightened straightness of flight, as if +they were afraid they would not get back in time, and all the insects +that are so gay with their humming and booming had disappeared under +leaves and stones and grasses. Elinor saw a bee burrowing deep in +the waxen trumpet of a foxglove, as if taking shelter, as she walked +quickly past. The Hills--there were two middle-aged sisters of them, +with an old mother, too old for such diversion as the inspection of +wedding-clothes, in the background--would scarcely let Elinor go out +again after they had accepted her invitation with rapture. "I was just +wondering where I should see the new fashions," said Miss Hill, "for +though we are not going to be married we must begin to think about our +winter things----" "And this will be such an opportunity," said Miss +Susan, "and so good of you to come yourself to ask us." + +"What has she come to ask you to," said old Mrs. Hill; "the wedding? I +told you girls, I was sure you would not be left out. Why, I knew her +mother before she was married. I have known them all, man and boy, for +nearer sixty than fifty years--before her mother was born! To have left +you out would have been ridiculous. Yes, yes, Elinor, my dear; tell your +mother they will come--delighted! They have been thinking for the last +fortnight what bonnets they would wear----" + +"Oh, mother!" and "Oh, Elinor!" said the "girls," "you must not mind +what mother says. We know very well that you must have worlds of people +to ask. Don't think, among all your new connections, of such little +country mice as us. We shall always just take the same interest in you, +dear child, whether you find you can ask us or not." + +"But of course you are asked," said Elinor, in _gaieté de coeur_, not +reflecting that her mother had begun to be in despair about the number +of people who could be entertained in the cottage dining-room, "and you +must not talk about my new grand connections, for nobody will ever be +like my old friends." + +"Dear child!" they said, and "I always knew that dear Elinor's heart was +in the right place." But it was all that Elinor could do to get free of +their eager affection and alarm lest she should be caught in the rain. +Both of the ladies produced waterproofs, and one a large pair of +goloshes to fortify her, when it was found that she would go; and they +stood in the porch watching her as she went along into the darkening +afternoon, without any of their covers and shelters. The Miss Hills were +apt to cling together, after the manner of those pairs of sweet sisters +in the "Books of Beauty" which had been the delight of their youth; they +stood, with arms intertwined, in their porch, watching Elinor as she +hurried home, with her light half-flying step, like the belated birds. +"Did you hear what she said about old friends, poor little thing?" "I +wonder if she is finding out already that her new grand connections are +but vanity!" they said, shaking their heads. The middle-aged sisters +looked out of the sheltered home, which perhaps they had not chosen for +themselves, with a sort of wistful feeling, half pity, perhaps half +envy, upon the "poor little thing" who was running out so light-hearted +into the storm. They had long ago retired into waterproofs and goloshes, +and had much unwillingness to wet their feet--which things are a +parable. They went back and closed the door, only when the first flash +of lightning dazzled them, and they remembered that an open door is +dangerous during a thunderstorm. + +Elinor quickened her pace as the storm began and got home breathless +with running, shaking off the first big drops of thunder-rain from her +dress. But she did not think of any danger, and sat out in the porch +watching how the darkness came down on the combe; how it was met with +the jagged gleam of the great white flash, and how the thunderous +explosion shook the earth. The combe, with its hill-tops on either side, +became like the scene of a battle, great armies, invisible in the sharp +torrents of rain, meeting each other with a fierce shock and recoil, +with now and then a trumpet-blast, and now the gleam that lit up tree +and copse, and anon the tremendous artillery. When the lightning came +she caught a glimpse of the winding line of the white road leading away +out of all this--leading into the world where she was going--and for a +moment escaped by it, even amid the roar of all the elements: then came +back, alighting again with a start in the familiar porch, amid all the +surroundings of the familiar life, to feel her mother's hand upon her +shoulder, and her mother's voice saying, "Have you got wet, my darling? +Did you get much of it? Come in, come in from the storm!" + +"It is so glorious, mamma!" Mrs. Dennistoun stood for a few minutes +looking at it, then, with a shudder, withdrew into the drawing-room. "I +think I have seen too many storms to like it," she said. But Elinor had +not seen too many storms. She sat and watched it, now rolling away +towards the south, and bursting again as though one army or the other +had got reinforcements; while the flash of the explosions and the roar +of the guns, and the white blast of the rain, falling like a sheet from +the leaden skies, wrapped everything in mystery. The only thing that was +to be identified from time to time was that bit of road leading out of +it--leading her thoughts away, as it should one day lead her eager feet, +from all the storm and turmoil out into the bright and shining world. +Elinor never asked herself, as she sat there, a spectator of this great +conflict of nature, whether that one human thing, by which her swift +thoughts traversed the storm, carried any other suggestion as of coming +back. + +Perhaps it is betraying feminine counsels too much to the modest public +to narrate how Elinor's things were all laid out for the inspection of +the ladies of the parish, the dresses in one room, the "under things" in +another, and in the dining-room the presents, which everybody was doubly +curious to see, to compare their own offerings with those of other +people, or else to note with anxious eye what was wanting, in order, if +their present had not yet been procured, to supply the gap. How to get +something that would look well among the others, and yet not be too +expensive, was a problem which the country neighbours had much and +painfully considered. The Hudsons had given Elinor a little tea-kettle +upon a stand, which they were painfully conscious was only plated, and +sadly afraid would not look well among all the gorgeous articles with +which no doubt her grand new connections had loaded her. The Rector came +himself, with his ladies to see how the kettle looked, with a great line +of anxiety between his brows; but when they saw that the revolving +dishes beside it, which were the gift of the wealthy Lady Mariamne, were +plated too, and not nearly such a pretty design, their hearts went up in +instant exhilaration, followed a moment after by such indignation as +they could scarcely restrain. "That rich sister, the woman who married +the Jew" (which was their very natural explanation of the lady's +nickname), "a woman who is rolling in wealth, and who actually made up +the match!" This was crescendo, a height of scorn impossible to describe +upon a mere printed page. "One would have thought she would have given +a diamond necklace or something of consequence," said Mrs. Hudson in +her husband's ear. "Or, at least silver," said the Rector. "These +fashionable people, though they give themselves every luxury, have +sometimes not very much money to spend; but silver, at least, she might +have been expected to give silver." "It is simply disgraceful," said the +Rector's wife. "I am glad, at all events, my dear," said he, "that our +little thing looks just as well as any." "It is one of the prettiest +things she has got," said Mrs. Hudson, with a proud heart. Lord St. Serf +sent an old-fashioned little ring in a much worn velvet case, and the +elder brother, Lord Lomond, an album for photographs. The Rector's +wife indicated these gifts to her husband with little shrugs of her +shoulders. "If that's all the family can do!" she said: "why Alice's +cushion, which was worked with floss silks upon satin, was a more +creditable present than that." The Miss Hills, who as yet had not had +an opportunity, as they said, of giving their present, roamed about, +curious, inspecting everything. "What is the child to do with a kettle, +a thing so difficult to pack, and requiring spirit for the lamp, and all +that--and only plated!" the Hills said to each other. "Now, that little +teapot of ours," said Jane to Susan, "if mother would only consent to +it, is no use to us, and would look very handsome here." "Real silver, +and old silver, which is so much the rage, and a thing she could use +every day when she has her visitors for afternoon tea," said Susan to +Jane. "It is rather small," said Miss Hill, doubtfully. "But quite +enough for two people," said the other, forgetting that she had just +declared that the teapot would be serviceable when Elinor had visitors. +But that was a small matter. Elinor, however, had other things better +than these--a necklace, worth half a year's income, from John Tatham, +which he had pinched himself to get for her that she might hold up her +head among those great friends; and almost all that her mother possessed +in the way of jewellery, which was enough to make a show among these +simple people. "Her own family at least have done Elinor justice," said +the Rector, going again to have a look at the kettle, which was the +chief of the display to him. Thus the visitors made their remarks. The +Hills did nothing but stand apart and discuss their teapot and the means +by which "mother" could be got to assent. + +The Rector took his cup of tea, always with a side glance at the kettle, +and cut his cake, and made his gentle jest. "If Alick and I come over in +the night and carry them all off you must not be surprised," he said; +"such valuable things as these in a little poor parish are a dreadful +temptation, and I don't suppose you have much in the way of bolts and +bars. Alick is as nimble as a cat, he can get in at any crevice, and +I'll bring over the box for the collections to carry off the little +things." This harmless wit pleased the good clergyman much, and he +repeated it to all the ladies. "I am coming over with Alick one of these +dark nights to make a sweep of everything," he said. Mr. Hudson retired +in the gentle laughter that followed this, feeling that he had acquitted +himself as a man ought who is the only gentleman present, as well as the +Rector of the parish. "I am afraid I would not be a good judge of the +'things,'" he said, "and for anything I know there may be mysteries not +intended for men's eyes. I like to see your pretty dresses when you are +wearing them, but I can't judge of their effect in the gross." He was a +man who had a pleasant wit. The ladies all agreed that the Rector was +sure to make you laugh whatever was the occasion, and he walked home +very briskly, pleased with the effect of the kettle, and saying to +himself that from the moment he saw it in Mappin's window he had felt +sure it was the very thing. + +The other ladies were sufficiently impressed with the number and +splendour of Elinor's gowns. Mrs. Dennistoun explained, with a humility +which was not, I fear, untinctured by pride, that both number and +variety were rendered necessary by the fact that Elinor was going upon a +series of visits among her future husband's great relations, and would +have to be much in society and among fine people who dressed very much, +and would expect a great deal from a bride. "Of course, in ordinary +circumstances the half of them would have been enough: for I don't +approve of too many dresses." + +"They get old-fashioned," said Mrs. Hudson, gravely, "before they are +half worn out." + +"And to do them up again is quite as expensive as getting new ones, and +not so satisfactory," said the Miss Hills. + +The proud mother allowed both of these drawbacks, "But what could I do?" +she said. "I cannot have my child go away into such a different sphere +unprovided. It is a sacrifice, but we had to make it. I wish," she said, +looking round to see that Elinor was out of hearing, "it was the only +sacrifice that had to be made." + +"Let us hope," said the Rector's wife, solemnly, "that it will all turn +out for the best." + +"It will do that however it turns out," said Miss Dale, who was even +more serious than it was incumbent on a member of a clerical household +to be, "for we all know that troubles are sent for our advantage as well +as blessings, and poor dear Elinor may require much discipline----" + +"Oh, goodness, don't talk as if the poor child was going to be +executed," said Susan Hill. + +"I am not at all alarmed," said Mrs. Dennistoun. It was unwise of her +to have left an opening for any such remark. "My Elinor has always been +surrounded by love wherever she has been. Her future husband's family +are already very fond of her. I am not at all alarmed on Elinor's +account." + +She laid the covering wrapper over the dresses with an air of pride and +confidence which was remembered long afterwards--as the pride that goeth +before a fall by some, but by others with more sympathy, who guessed the +secret workings of the mother's heart. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + +Time went on quickly enough amid all these preparations and the little +attendant excitements of letters, congratulations, and presents which +came in on every side. Elinor complained mildly of the fuss, but it was +a new and far from unpleasant experience. She liked to have the packets +brought in by the post, or the bigger boxes that arrived from the +station, and to open them and produce out of the wadding or the saw-dust +one pretty thing after another. At first it was altogether fresh and +amusing, this new kind of existence, though after a while she grew +_blasée_, as may be supposed. Lady Mariamne's present she was a little +ashamed of: not that she cared much, but because of the look on her +mother's face when those inferior articles were unpacked; and at the +ring which old Lord St. Serf sent her she laughed freely. + +"I will put it with my own little old baby rings in this little silver +tray, and they will all look as if they were antiques, or something +worth looking at," said Elinor. Happily there were other people who +endowed her more richly with rings fit for a bride to wear. The +relations at a distance were more or less pleased with Elinor's +prospects. A few, indeed, from different parts of the world wrote in +the vein of Elinor's home-advisers, hoping that it was not the Mr. +Compton who was so well known as a betting man whom she was going to +marry; but the fact that she was marrying into a noble family, and +would henceforward be known as the Honourable Mrs. Compton, mollified +even these critics. Only three brothers--one a great invalid, and two +soldiers--between him and the title. Elinor's relations promptly +inaugurated in their imaginations a great war, in which two noble +regiments were cut to pieces, to dispose of the two Captains Compton; +and as for the invalid, that he would obligingly die off was a +contingency which nobody doubted--and behold Elinor Dennistoun Lady +St. Serf! This greatly calmed criticism among her relations, who +were all at a distance, and whose approval or disapproval did not +much affect her spirits anyhow. John Tatham's father, Mrs. Dennistoun's +cousin, was of more consequence, chiefly as being John's father, but +also a little for himself, and it was remarked that he said not a +word against the marriage, but sent a very handsome present, and many +congratulations--chiefly inspired (but this Elinor did not divine) by an +unfeigned satisfaction that it was not his son who was the bridegroom. +Mr. Tatham, senr., did not approve of early marriages for young men +pushing their way at the bar, unless the bride was, so to speak, in the +profession and could be of use to her husband. Even in such cases, the +young man was better off without a wife, he was of opinion. How could he +get up his cases properly if he had to drag about in society at the tail +of a gay young woman? Therefore he sent Elinor a very nice present in +gratitude to her and providence. She was a danger removed out of his +boy's way. + +All this kept a cheerful little commotion about the house, and often +kept the mother and daughter from thinking more than was good for them. +These extraneous matters did not indeed preserve Elinor altogether from +the consciousness that her _fiancé's_ letters were very short and a +little uncertain in their arrival, sometimes missing several days +together, and generally written in a hurry to catch the post. But they +kept Mrs. Dennistoun from remarking that fact, as otherwise she would +have been sure to do. If any chill of disappointment was in Elinor's +mind, she said to herself that men were generally bad correspondents, +not like girls, who had nothing else to do, and other consolations of +this kind, which to begin with beg the question, and show the beginning +of that disenchantment which ought to be reserved at least for a later +period. Elinor had already given up a good deal of her own ideal. She +would not, as she said, put herself in competition with the grouse, she +would not give him the choice between her and a cigar; but already the +consciousness that he preferred the grouse, and even a cigar, to her +society, had come an unwilling intruder into Elinor's mind. She would +not allow to herself that she felt it in either case. She said to +herself that she was proud of it, that it showed the freedom and +strength of a man, and that love was only one of many things which +occupied his life. She rebelled against the other deduction that "'tis +woman's sole existence," protesting loudly (to herself) that she too had +a hundred things to do, and did not want him always at her apron-strings +like a tame curate. But as a matter of fact, no doubt the girl would +have been flattered and happy had he been more with her. The time was +coming very quickly in which they should be together always, even when +there was grouse in hand, when his wife would be invited with him, and +all things would be in common between them; so what did it matter for a +few days? The marriage was fixed for the 16th of September, and that +great date was now scarcely a fortnight off. The excitement quickened as +everything grew towards this central point. Arrangements had to be made +about the wedding breakfast and where the guests were to be placed. The +Hudsons had put their spare rooms at the disposition of the Cottage, +and so had the Hills. The bridegroom was to stay at the Rectory. +Lady Mariamne must of course, Mrs. Dennistoun felt, be put up at the +Cottage, where the two rooms on the ground floor--what were called the +gentlemen's rooms--had to be prepared to receive her. It was with a +little awe indeed that the ladies of the Cottage endeavoured, by the aid +of Elinor's recollections, to come to an understanding of what a fine +lady would want even for a single night. Mrs. Dennistoun's experiences +were all old-fashioned, and of a period when even great ladies were less +luxurious than now; and it made her a little angry to think how much +more was required for her daughter's future sister-in-law than had been +necessary to herself. But after all, what had herself to do with it? +The thing was to do Elinor credit, and make the future sister-in-law +perceive that the Cottage was no rustic establishment, but one in which +it was known what was what, and all the requirements of the most refined +life. Elinor's bridesmaid, Mary Tatham, was to have the spare room +up-stairs, and some other cousins, who were what Mrs. Dennistoun called +"quiet people," were to receive the hospitalities of the Hills, whose +house was roomy and old-fashioned. Thus the arrangements of the crisis +were more or less settled and everything made smooth. + +Elinor and her mother were seated together in the drawing-room on one of +those evenings of which Mrs. Dennistoun desired to make the most, as +they would be the last, but which, as they actually passed, were--if not +occupied with discussions of how everything was to be arranged, which +they went over again and again by instinct as a safe subject--heavy, +almost dull, and dragged sadly over the poor ladies whose hearts were so +full, but to whom to be separated, though it would be bitter, would also +at the same time almost be a relief. They had been silent for some time, +not because they had not plenty to say, but because it was so difficult +to say it without awaking too much feeling. How could they talk of the +future in which one of them would be away in strange places, exposed to +the risks and vicissitudes of a new life, and one of them be left alone +in the unbroken silence, sitting over the fire, with nothing but that +blaze to give her any comfort? It was too much to think of, much more +to talk about, though it need not be said that it was in the minds of +both--with a difference, for Elinor's imagination was most employed upon +the brilliant canvas where she herself held necessarily the first place, +with a sketch of her mother's lonely life, giving her heart a pang, in +the distance; while Mrs. Dennistoun could not help but see the lonely +figure in her own foreground, against the brightness of all the +entertainments in which Elinor should appear as a queen. They were +sitting thus, the mother employed at some fine needlework for the +daughter, the daughter doing little, as is usual nowadays. They had been +talking over Lady Mariamne and her requirements again, and had come to +an end of that subject. What a pity that it was so hard to open the door +of their two hearts, which were so close together, so that each might +see all the tenderness and compunction in the other; the shame and +sorrow of the mother to grudge her child's happiness, the remorse +and trouble of the child to be leaving that mother out in all her +calculations for the future! How were they to do it on either side? They +could not talk, these poor loving women, so they were mostly silent, +saying a word or two at intervals about Mrs. Dennistoun's work (which of +course, was for Elinor), or of Elinor's village class for sewing, which +was to be transferred to her mother, skirting the edges of the great +separation which could neither be dismissed nor ignored. + +Suddenly Elinor looked up, holding up her finger. "What was that?" she +said. "A step upon the gravel?" + +"Nonsense, child. If we were to listen to all these noises of the night +there would always be a step upon---- Oh! I think I did hear something." + +"It is someone coming to the door," said Elinor, rising up with that +sudden prevision of trouble which is so seldom deceived. + +"Don't go, Elinor; don't go. It might be a tramp; wait at least till +they knock at the door." + +"I don't think it can be a tramp, mamma. It may be a telegram. It is +coming straight up to the door." + +"It will be the parcel porter from the station. He is always coming and +going, though I never knew him so late. Pearson is in the house, you +know. There is not any cause to be alarmed." + +"Alarmed!" said Elinor, with a laugh of excitement; "but I put more +confidence in myself than in Pearson, whoever it may be." + +She stood listening with a face full of expectation, and Mrs. Dennistoun +put down her work and listened too. The step advanced lightly, scattering +the gravel, and then there was a pause as if the stranger had stopped to +reconnoitre. Then came a knock at the window, which could only have been +done by a tall man, and the hearts of the ladies jumped up, and then +seemed to stop beating. To be sure, there were bolts and bars, but +Pearson was not much good, and the house was full of valuables and very +lonely. Mrs. Dennistoun rose up, trembling a little, and went forward to +the window, bidding Elinor go back and keep quite quiet. But here they +were interrupted by a voice which called from without, with another +knock on the window, "Nell! Nell!" + +"It is Phil," said Elinor, flying to the door. + +Mrs. Dennistoun sat down again and said nothing. Her heart sank in her +breast. She did not know what she feared; perhaps that he had come to +break off the marriage, perhaps to hurry it and carry her child away. +There was a pause as was natural at the door, a murmur of voices, a fond +confusion of words, which made it clear that no breach was likely, and +presently after that interval, Elinor came back beaming, leading her +lover. "Here is Phil," she said, in such liquid tones of happiness as +filled her mother with mingled pleasure, gratitude, and despite. "He has +found he had a day or two to spare, and he has rushed down here, fancy, +with an apology for not letting us know!" + +"She thinks everyone is like herself, Mrs. Dennistoun, but I am aware +that I am not such a popular personage as she thinks me, and you have +least reason of all to approve of the man who is coming to carry her +away." + +"I am glad to see you, Mr. Compton," she said, gravely, giving him her +hand. + +The Hon. Philip Compton was a very tall man, with very black hair. He +had fine but rather hawk-like features, a large nose, a complexion too +white to be agreeable, though it added to his romantic appearance. There +was a furtive look in his big dark eyes, which had a way of surveying +the country, so to speak, before making a reply to any question, +like a man whose response depended upon what he saw. He surveyed Mrs. +Dennistoun in this way while she spoke; but then he took her hand, +stooped his head over it, and kissed it, not without grace. "Thank you +very much for that," he said, as if there had been some doubt on his +mind about his reception. "I was glad enough to get the opportunity, I +can tell you. I've brought you some birds, Mrs. Dennistoun, and I hope +you'll give me some supper, for I'm as hungry as a hawk. And now, Nell, +let's have a look at you," the lover said. He was troubled by no false +modesty. As soon as he had paid the required toll of courtesy to the +mother, who naturally ought to have at once proceeded to give orders +about his supper, he held Elinor at arm's length before the lamp, then, +having fully inspected her appearance, and expressed by a "Charming, by +Jove!" his opinion of it, proceeded to demonstrations which the presence +of the mother standing by did not moderate. There are few mothers to +whom it would be agreeable to see their child engulfed in the arms of a +large and strong man, and covered with his bold kisses. Mrs. Dennistoun +was more fastidious even than most mothers, and to her this embrace was +a sort of profanation. The Elinor who had been guarded like a flower +from every contact--to see her gripped in his arms by this stranger, +made her mother glow with an indignation which she knew was out of the +question, yet felt to the bottom of her soul. Elinor was abashed before +her mother, but she was not angry. She forced herself from his embrace, +but her blushing countenance was full of happiness. What a revolution +had thus taken place in a few minutes! They had been so dull sitting +there alone; alone, though each with the other who had filled her life +for more than twenty years; and now all was lightened, palpitating with +life. "Be good, sir," said Elinor, pushing him into a chair as if he had +been a great dog, "and quiet and well-behaved; and then you shall have +some supper. But tell us first where you have come from, and what put it +into your head to come here." + +"I came up direct from my brother Lomond's shooting-box. Reply No. 1. +What put it into my head to come? Love, I suppose, and the bright eyes +of a certain little witch called Nell. I ought to have been in Ireland +for a sort of a farewell visit there; but when I found I could steal two +days, you may imagine I knew very well what to do with them. Eh? Oh, +it's mamma that frightens you, I see." + +"It is kind of you to give Elinor two days when you have so many other +engagements," said Mrs. Dennistoun, turning away. + +But he was not in the least abashed. "Yes isn't it?" he said; "my last +few days of freedom. I consider I deserve the prize for virtue--to cut +short my very last rampage; and she will not as much as give me a kiss! +I think she is ashamed before you, Mrs. Dennistoun." + +"It would not be surprising if she were," said Mrs. Dennistoun, gravely. +"I am old-fashioned, as you may perceive." + +"Oh, you don't need to tell me that," said he; "one can see it with half +an eye. Come here, Nell, you little coquette: or I shall tell the Jew +you were afraid of mamma, and you will never hear an end of it as long +as you live." + +"Elinor, I think you had better see, perhaps, what there is to make up +as good a meal as possible for Mr. Compton," said her mother, sitting +down opposite to the stranger, whose long limbs were stretched over +half the floor, with the intention of tripping up Elinor, it seemed; +but she glided past him and went on her way--not offended, oh, not at +all--waving her hand to him as she avoided the very choice joke of his +stretched-out foot. + +"Mr. Compton," said Mrs. Dennistoun, "you will be Elinor's husband in +less than a fortnight." + +"I hope so," he said, displaying the large cavern of a yawn under his +black moustache as he looked her in the face. + +"And after that I will have no right to interfere; but, in the meantime, +this is my house, and I hope you will remember that these ways are not +mine, and that I am too old-fashioned to like them. I prefer a little +more respect to your betrothed." + +"Oh, respect," he said. "I have never found that girls like too much +respect. But as you please. Well, look here, Nell," he said, catching +her by the arm as she came back and swinging her towards him, "your +mother thinks I'm too rough with you, my little dear." + +"Do you, mamma?" said Elinor, faltering a little; but she had the +sweetest rose-flush on her cheeks and the moisture of joy in her eyes. +In all her twenty-three years she had never looked as she looked now. +Her life had been a happy one, but not like this. She had been always +beloved, and never had known for a day what it was to be neglected; yet +love had never appeared to her as it did now, so sweet, nor life so +beautiful. What strange delusion! what a wonderful incomprehensible +mistake! or so at least the mother thought, looking at her beautiful +girl with a pang at her heart. + +"It is only his bad manners," said Elinor, in a voice which sounded like +a caress. "He knows very well how to behave. He can be as nice as any +one, and as pretty spoken, and careful not to offend. It is only +arriving so suddenly, and not being expected--or that he has forgotten +his nice manners to-night. Phil, do you hear what I say?" + +Phil made himself into the semblance of a dog, and sat up and begged +for pardon. It was a trick which made people "shriek with laughing;" +but Mrs. Dennistoun's gravity remained unbroken. Perhaps her extreme +seriousness had something in it that was rather ridiculous too. It was a +relief when he went off to his supper, attended by Elinor, and Mrs. +Dennistoun was left alone over her fire. She had a slight sense that she +had been absurd, as well as that Philip Compton had lacked breeding, +which did not make her more comfortable. Was it possible that she would +be glad when it was all over, and her child gone--her child gone, and +with that man! Her child, her little delicately bred, finely nurtured +girl, who had been wrapped in all the refinements of life from her +cradle, and had never heard a rough word, never been allowed to know +anything that would disturb her virginal calm!--yet now in a moment +passed away beyond her mother to the unceremonious wooer who had no +reverence for her, none of the worship her mother expected. How strange +it was! Yet a thing that happened every day. Mrs. Dennistoun sat over +the fire, though it was not cold, and listened to the voices and +laughter in the next room. How happy they were to be together! She did +not, however, dwell upon the fact that she was alone and deserted, as +many women would have done. She knew that she would have plenty of time +to dwell on this in the lonely days to come. What occupied her was the +want of more than manners, of any delicate feeling in the lover who had +seized with rude caresses upon Elinor in her mother's presence, and the +fact that Elinor did not object, nor dislike that it should be so. That +she should feel forlorn was no wonderful thing; that did not disturb her +mind. It was the other matter about Elinor that pained and horrified +her, she could not tell why; which, perhaps, was fantastic, which, +indeed, she felt sure must be so. + +They were so long in the dining-room, where Compton had his supper, that +when that was over it was time to go to bed. Still talking and laughing +as if they could never exhaust either the fountain of talk or the mirth, +which was probably much more sheer pleasure in their meeting than +genuine laughter produced by any wit or _bon mot_, they came out into +the passage, and stood by Mrs. Dennistoun and the housemaid, who had +brought her the keys and was now fastening the hall door. A little +calendar hung on the wall beneath the lamp, and Phil Compton walked up +to it and with a laugh read out the date. "Sixth September," he said, +and turned round to Elinor. "Only ten days more, Nell." The housemaid +stooping down over the bolt blushed and laughed too under her breath in +sympathy; but Mrs. Dennistoun turning suddenly round caught Compton's +eye. Why had he given that keen glance about him? There was nothing to +call for his usual survey of the company in that sentiment. He might +have known well enough what were the feelings he was likely to call +forth. A keen suspicion shot through her mind. Suspicion of what? She +could not tell. There was nothing that was not most natural in his +sudden arrival, the delightful surprise of his coming, his certainty of +a good reception. The wonder was that he had come so little, not that he +should come now. + +The next morning the visitor made himself very agreeable: his raptures +were a little calmed. He talked over all the arrangements, and entered +into everything with the interest of a man to whom that great day +approaching was indeed the greatest day in his life. And it turned out +that he had something to tell which was of practical importance. "I may +relieve your mind about Nell's money," he said, "for I believe my +company is going to be wound up. We'll look out for another investment +which will pay as well and be less risky. It has been found not to be +doing quite so well as was thought, so we're going to wind up." + +"I hope you have not lost anything," said Mrs. Dennistoun. + +"Oh, nothing to speak of," he said, carelessly. + +"I am not fond of speculative companies. I am glad you are done with +it," Mrs. Dennistoun said. + +"And I'm glad to be done with it. I shall look out for something +permanent and decline joint-stock companies. I thought you would like +to know. But that is the last word I shall say about business. Come, +Nell, I have only one day; let's spend it in the woods." + +Elinor, who felt that the day in the woods was far more important than +any business, hurried to get her hat and follow him to the door. It +chanced to her to glance at the calendar as she passed hastily out to +where he stood awaiting her in the porch. Why that should have happened +to anyone in the Cottage twice in the twenty-four hours is a coincidence +which I cannot explain, but so it was. Her eye caught the little white +plaque in passing, and perceived with surprise that it had moved up two +numbers, and that it was the figure 8 which was marked upon it now. + +"We cannot have slept through a day and night," she said, laughing as +she joined him. "The calendar says the eighth September now." + +"But I arrived on the sixth," he said. "Mind that, Nell, whatever +happens. You saw it with your own eyes. It may be of consequence to +remember." + +"Of what consequence could it be?" said Elinor, wondering. + +"One can never tell. The only thing is I arrived on the sixth--that you +know. And, Nell, my darling, supposing any fellow should inquire too +closely into my movements, you'll back me up, won't you, and agree in +everything I say?" + +"Who should inquire into your movements? There is no one here who would +be so impertinent, Phil." + +"Oh," he said, "there is never any telling how impertinent people may +be." + +"And what is there in your movements that any one dare inquire about? I +hope you are not ashamed of coming to see me." + +"That is just what is the saving of me, Nell. I can't explain what I +mean now, but I will later on. Only mind you don't contradict me if we +should meet any inquisitive person. I arrived on the sixth, and you'll +back me like my true love in everything I say." + +"As far as--as I know, Phil." + +"Oh, we must have no conditions. You must stand by me in everything I +say." + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + +This day in the copse was one that Elinor never forgot. At the moment it +seemed to her the most blissful period of all her life. There had been +times in which she had longed that Phil knew more and cared more for the +objects which had always been most familiar, and told for most in her +own existence--although it is true that at first his very ignorance, +real or assumed, his careless way of treating all intellectual subjects, +his indifference to books and pictures, and even nature, had amused and +pleased her, giving a piquancy to the physical strength and enjoying +manhood, the perpetual activity and state of doing something in which he +was. It was not a kind of life which she had ever known before, and it +dazzled her with its apparent freedom and fulness, the variety in it, +the constant movement, the crowd of occupations and people. To her who +had been used to finding a great deal of her amusement in reading, in +sketching (not very well), in playing (tunes), and generally practising +with very moderate success arts for which she had no individual +enthusiasm, it had seemed like a new life to be plunged into the society +of horses and dogs, into the active world which was made up of a round +of amusements, race meetings, days on the river, follies of every +conceivable kind, exercise, and air, and movement. The ignorance of all +these people dazzled her as if it had been a new science. It had seemed +something wonderful and piquant to Elinor to find people who knew so +much of subjects she had never heard of, and nothing at all of those she +had been trained to know. And then there had come a moment when she had +begun to sigh under her breath, as it were, and wish that Phil would +sometimes open a book, that when he took up the newspaper he would look +at something more than the sporting news and the bits of gossip, that he +would talk now and then of something different from the racings and the +startings, and the odds, and the scrapes other men got into, and the +astonishing "frocks" of the Jew--those things, so wonderful at first, +like a new language, absurd, yet amusing, came to be a little tiresome, +especially when scraps of them made up the bulk of the very brief +letters which Phil scribbled to his betrothed. But during this day, +after his unexpected arrival, the joy of seeing him suddenly, the +pleasure of feeling that he had broken through all his engagements to +come to her, and the fervour of his satisfaction in being with her again +(that very fervour which shocked her mother), Elinor's first glow of +delight in her love came fully back. And as they wandered through the +pleasant paths of the copse, his very talk seemed somehow changed, and +to have gained just that little mingling of perception of her tastes and +wishes which she had desired. There was a little autumnal mist about the +softening haze which was not decay, but only the "mellow fruitfulness" +of the poet; and the day, notwithstanding this, was as warm as June, the +sky blue, with only a little white puff of cloud here and there. Phil +paused to look down the combe, with all the folds of the downs that +wrapped it about, going off in blue outlines into the distance, and said +it was "a jolly view"--which amused Elinor more than if he had used the +finest language, and showed that he was beginning (she thought) to care +a little for the things which pleased her. "And I suppose you could see +a man coming by that bit of road." + +"Yes," said Elinor, "you could see a man coming--or going: but, unless +you were to make believe very strong, like the Marchioness, you could +not make out who the man was." + +"What Marchioness?" said Phil. "I didn't know you had anybody with a +title about here. I say, Nell, it's a very jolly view, but hideously +dull for you, my pet, to have lived so long here." + +"I never found it in the least dull," she said. + +"Why, there is nothing to do! I suppose you read books, eh? That's what +you call amusing yourself. You ought to have made the old lady take you +about a deal, abroad, and all over the place: but I expect you have +never stood up for yourself a bit, Nell." + +"Don't call mamma the old lady, Phil. She is not old, and far prettier +than most people I know." + +"Well, she should have done it for herself. Might have picked up a good +match, eh? a father-in-law that would have left you a pot of money. You +don't mean to say you wouldn't have liked that?" + +"Oh, Phil, Phil! I wish you could understand." + +"Well, well, I'll let the old girl alone." And then came the point at +which Phil improved so much. "Tell me what you've been reading last," he +said. "I should like to know what you are thinking about, even if I +don't understand it myself. I say, Nell, who do you think that can be +dashing so fast along the road?" + +"It is the people at Reddown," she said. "I know their white horses. +They always dash along as if they were in the greatest hurry. Do you +really want to know what I have been reading, Phil? though it is very +little, I fear, because of the dressmakers and--all the other things." + +"You see," he said, "when you have lots to do you can't keep up with +your books: which is the reason why I never pretend to read--I have no +time." + +"You might find a little time. I have seen you look very much bored, and +complain that there was nothing to do." + +"Never when you were there, Nell, that I'll answer for--but of course +there are times when a fellow isn't doing anything much. What would you +have me read? There's always the _Sporting and Dramatic_, you know, the +_Pink 'un_, and a few more." + +"Oh, Phil! you don't call them literature, I hope." + +"I don't know much about what you call literature. There's Ruff, and +Hoyle, and--I say, Nell, there's a dog-cart going a pace! Who can that +be, do you suppose?" + +"I don't know all the dog-carts about. I should think it was some one +coming from the station." + +"Oh!" he said, and made a long pause. "Driving like that, if they don't +break their necks, they should be here in ten minutes or so." + +"Oh, not for twice that time--the road makes such a round--but there is +no reason to suppose that any dog-cart from the station should be coming +here." + +"Well, to return to the literature, as you call it. I suppose I shall +have to get a lot of books for you to keep you amused--eh, Nell? even in +the honeymoon." + +"We shall not have time to read very much if we are moving about all the +time." + +"Not me, but you. I know what you'll do. You'll go and leave me planted, +and run up-stairs to read your book. I've seen the Jew do it with some +of her confounded novels that she's always wanting to turn over to me." + +"But there are some novels that you would like to read, Phil." + +"Not a bit. Why, Nell, I know far better stories of fellows in our own +set than any novel these writing men ever can put on paper: fellows, and +women, too--stories that would make your hair stand on end, and that +would make you die with laughing. You can't think what lots I know. That +cart would have been here by this time if it had been coming here, eh?" + +"Oh, no, not yet--the road makes such a long round. Do you expect any +one, Phil?" + +"I don't quite know; there's something on at that confounded office of +ours; everything, you know, has gone to smash. I didn't think it well to +say too much to the old lady last night. There's been a regular row, and +the manager's absconded, and all turns on whether they can find some +books. I shouldn't wonder if one of the fellows came down here, if they +find out where I am. I say, Nell, mind you back me up whatever I say." + +"But I can't possibly know anything about it," said Elinor, astonished. + +"Never mind--about dates and that--if you don't stand by me, there may +be a fuss, and the wedding delayed. Remember that, my pet, the wedding +delayed--that's what I want to avoid. Now, come, Nell, let's have +another go about the books. All English, mind you. I won't buy you any +of the French rot. They're too spicy for a little girl like you." + +"I don't know what you mean, Phil. I hope you don't think that I read +nothing but novels," Elinor said. + +"Nothing but novels! Oh, if you go in for mathematics and that sort of +thing, Nell! the novels are too deep for me. Don't say poetry, if you +love me. I could stand most things from you, Nell, you little +darling--but, Nell, if you come spouting verses all the time----" + +His look of horror made Elinor laugh. "You need not be afraid. I never +spout verses," she said. + +"Come along this way a little, where we can see the road. All women seem +to like poetry. There's a few fellows I don't mind myself. Ingoldsby, +now that's something fine. We had him at school, and perhaps it was the +contrast from one's lessons. Do you know Ingoldsby, Nell?" + +"A--little--I have read some----" + +"Ah, you like the sentimental best. There's Whyte Melville, then, +there's always something melancholy about him--'When the old horse +died,' and that sort of thing--makes you cry, don't you know. You all +like that. Certainly, if that dog-cart had been coming here it must have +come by this time." + +"Yes, it must have come," Elinor admitted, with a little wonder at the +importance which he gave to this possible incident. "But there is +another train at two if you are very anxious to see this man." + +"Oh, I'm not anxious to see him," said Mr. Compton, with a laugh, "but +probably he will want to see me. No, Nell, you will not expect me to +read poetry to you while we're away. There's quite a library at Lomond's +place. You can amuse yourself there when I'm shooting; not that I shall +shoot much, or anything that takes me away from my Nell. But you must +come out with us. There is no such fun as stumping over the moors--the +Jew has got all the turn-out for that sort of thing--short frocks and +knickerbockers, and a duck of a little breech-loader. She thinks she's a +great shot, poor thing, and men are civil and let her imagine that she's +knocked over a pheasant or a hare, now and then. As for the partridges, +she lets fly, of course, but to say she hits anything----" + +"I should not want to hit anything," said Elinor. "Oh, please Phil! I +will try anything else you like, but don't make me shoot." + +"You little humbug! See what you'll say when you get quite clear of the +old lady. But I don't want you to shoot, Nell. If you don't get tired +sitting at home, with all of us out on the hill, I like to come in for +my part and find a little duck all tidy, not blowzy and blown about by +the wind, like the Jew with her ridiculous bag, that all the fellows +snigger at behind her back." + +"You should not let any fellow laugh at your sister, Phil----" + +"Oh, as for that! they are all as thick with her as I am, and why should +I interfere? But I promise you nobody shall cut a joke upon my Nell." + +"I should hope not, indeed," said Elinor, indignant; "but as for your +'fellows,' Phil, as you call them, you mustn't be angry with me, but I +don't much like those gentlemen; they are a little rude and rough. They +shall not call me by my Christian name, or anything but my own +formal----" + +"Mrs. Compton," he said, seizing her in his arms, "you little duck! +they'll be as frightened of you as if you were fifty. But you mustn't +spoil good company, Nell. I shall like you to keep them at a distance, +but you mustn't go too far; and, above all, my pet, you mustn't put out +the Jew. I calculate on being a lot there; they have a nice house and a +good table, and all that, and Prestwich is glad of somebody to help +about his horses. You mustn't set up any of your airs with the Jew." + +"I don't know what you mean by my airs, Phil." + +"Oh, but I do, and they're delicious, Nell: half like a little girl and +half like a queen: but it will never do to make the Jew feel small in +her own set. Hallo! there's some one tumbling alone over the stones on +that precious road of yours. I believe it's that cart from the station +after all." + +"No," said Elinor, "it is only one of the tradespeople. You certainly +are anxious about those carts from the station, Phil." + +"Not a bit!" he said, and then, after a moment, he added, "Yes, on the +whole, I'd much rather the man came, if he's coming while I'm here, and +while you are with me, Nell; for I want you to stick to me, and back me +up. They might think I ought to go after that manager fellow and spoil +the wedding. Therefore mind you back me up." + +"I can't think, dear Phil, what there is for me to do. I know nothing +about the business nor what has happened. You never told me anything, +and how can I back you up about things I don't know?" + +"Oh, yes, you can," he said, "you'll soon see if the fellow comes; just +you stand by me, whatever I say. You mayn't know--or even I may seem to +make a mistake; but you know me if you don't know the circumstances, and +I hope you can trust me, Nell, that it will be all right." + +"But----" said Elinor, confused. + +"Don't go on with your buts; there's a darling, don't contradict me. +There is nothing looks so silly to strangers as a woman contradicting +every word a fellow says. I only want you to stand by me, don't you +know, that's all; and I'll tell you everything about it after, when +there's time." + +"Tell me about it now," said Elinor; "you may be sure I shall be +interested; there's plenty of time now." + +"Talk about business to you! when I've only a single day, and not half +time enough, you little duck, to tell you what a darling you are, and +how I count every hour till I can have you all to myself. Ah, Nell, +Nell, if that day were only here----" + +And then Phil turned to those subjects and those methods which cast so +much confusion into the mind of Mrs. Dennistoun, when practised under +her sedate and middle-aged eyes. But Elinor, as has been said, did not +take exactly the same view. + +Presently they went to luncheon, and Phil secured himself a place at +table commanding the road. "I never knew before how jolly it was," he +said, "though everything is jolly here. And that peep of the road must +give you warning when any invasion is coming." + +"It is too far off for that," said Mrs. Dennistoun. + +"Oh, no, not for sharp eyes. Nell there told me who several people +were--those white horses--the people at--where did you say, Nell?" + +"Reddown, mamma--the Philistines, as you call them, that are always +dashing about the country--_nouveaux riches_, with the finest horses in +the county." + +"I like the _nouveaux riches_ for that," said Phil (he did not go wrong +in his French, which was a great consolation to Elinor), "they like to +have the best of everything. Your poor swell has to take what he can +get, but the _parvenu's_ the man in these days; and then there was a +dog-cart, which she pronounced to be from the station, but which turned +out to be the butcher, or the baker, or the candle-stick maker----" + +"It is really too far off to make sure of anything, except white +horses." + +"Ah, there's no mistaking them. I see something sweeping along, but +that's a country wagon, I suppose. It gives me a great deal of diversion +to see the people on the road--which perhaps you will think a vulgar +amusement." + +"Not at all," said Mrs. Dennistoun, politely, but she thought within +herself how empty the brain must be which sought diversion from the +distant carriages passing two miles off: to be sure across the combe, +as the crow flies, it was not a quarter part so far as that. + +"Phil thinks some one may possibly come to him on business--to explain +things," said Elinor, anxious on her part to make it clear that it was +not out of mere vacancy that her lover had watched so closely the +carriages on the road. + +"Unfortunately, there is something like a smash," he said; "they'll keep +it out of the papers if they can, but you may see it in the papers; the +manager has run away, and there's a question about some books. I don't +suppose you would understand--they may come to me here about it, or they +may wait till I go back to town." + +"I thought you were going to Ireland, Phil." + +"So I shall, probably, just for three days--to fill up the time. One +wants to be doing something to keep one's self down. You can't keep +quiet and behave yourself when you are going to be married in a week: +unless you're a little chit of a girl without any feelings," he said +with a laugh. And Elinor laughed too; while Mrs. Dennistoun sat as grave +as a judge at the head of the table. But Phil was not daunted by her +serious face: so long as the road was quite clear he had all the +appearance of a perfectly easy mind. + +"We have been talking about literature," he said. "I am a stupid fellow, +as perhaps you know, for that sort of thing. But Nell is to indoctrinate +me. We mean to take a big box of books, and I'm to be made to read +poetry and all sorts of fine things in my honeymoon." + +"That is a new idea," said Mrs. Dennistoun. "I thought Elinor meant to +give up reading, on the other hand, to make things square." + +There was a little breath of a protest from Elinor. "Oh, mamma!" but she +left the talk (he could do it so much better) in Compton's hand. + +"I expect to figure as a sort of prodigy in my family," he said; "we're +not bookish. The Jew goes in for French novels, but I don't intend to +let Nell touch them, so you may be easy in your mind." + +"I have no doubt Lady Mariamne makes a good selection," said Mrs. +Dennistoun. + +"Not she! she reads whatever comes, and the more salt the better. The +Jew is quite an emancipated person. Don't you think she'll bore you +rather in this little house? She carries bales of rubbish with her +wherever she goes, and her maid, and her dog, and I don't know what. If +I were you I'd write, or better wire, and tell her there's a capital +train from Victoria will bring her here in time for the wedding, and +that it's a thousand pities she should disturb herself to come for the +night." + +"If your sister can put up with my small accommodation, I shall of +course be happy to have her, whatever she brings with her," Mrs. +Dennistoun said. + +"Oh! it's not a question of putting up--she'd be delighted, I'm sure: +but I think you'll find her a great bore. She is exceedingly fussy when +she has not all her things about her. However, you must judge for +yourself. But if you think better of it, wire a few words, and it'll be +all right. I'm to go to the old Rectory, Nell says." + +"It is not a particularly old Rectory; it is a very nice, pleasant +house. I think you will find yourself quite comfortable--you and the +gentleman----" + +"Dick Bolsover, who is going to see me through it: and I daresay I +should not sleep much, if I were in the most luxurious bed in the world. +They say a man who is going to be hanged sleeps like a top, but I don't +think I shall; what do you say, Nell?" + +"Elinor, I should think, could have no opinion on the subject," said +Mrs. Dennistoun, pale with anger. "You will all dine here, of course. +Some other friends are coming, and a cousin, Mr. Tatham, of Tatham's +Cross." + +"Is that," said Phil, "the Cousin John?" + +"John, I am sorry to say, is abroad; the long vacation is the worst +time. It is his father who is coming, and his sister, Mary Tatham, who +is Elinor's bridesmaid--she and Miss Hudson at the Rectory." + +"Only two; and very sensible, instead of the train one sees, all +thinking how best to show themselves off. Dick Bolsover is man enough to +tackle them both. He expects some fun, I can tell you. What is there to +be after we are gone, Nell?" He stopped and looked round with a laugh. +"Rather close quarters for a ball," he said. + +"There will be no ball. You forget that when you take Elinor away I +shall be alone. A solitary woman living in a cottage, as you remark, +does not give balls. I am much afraid that there will be very little fun +for your friend." + +"Oh, he'll amuse himself well enough; he's the sort of fellow who always +makes himself at home. A Rectory will be great fun for him; I don't +suppose he was ever in one before, unless perhaps when he was a boy at +school. Yes, as you say--what a lot of trouble it will be for you to +be sure: not as if Nell had a sister to enjoy the fun after. It's a +thousand pities you did not decide to bring her up to town, and get +us shuffled off there. You might have got a little house for next +to nothing at this time of the year, and saved all the row, turning +everything upside down in this nice little place, and troubling yourself +with visitors and so forth. But one always thinks of that sort of thing +too late." + +"I should not have adopted such an expedient in any case. Elinor must be +married among her own people, wherever her lot may be cast afterwards. +Everybody here has known her ever since she was born." + +"Ah, that's a thing ladies think of, I suppose," said Compton. He had +stuck his glass into his eye and was gazing out of the window. "Very +jolly view," he continued. "And what's that, Nell, raising clouds of +dust? I haven't such quick eyes as you." + +"I should think it must be a circus or a menagerie, or something, +mamma." + +"Very likely," said Mrs. Dennistoun. "They sometimes come this way on +the road to Portsmouth, and give little representations in all the +villages, to the great excitement of the country folk." + +"We are the country folk, and I feel quite excited," said Phil, dropping +his glass. "Nell, if there's a representation, you and I will go +to-night." + +"Oh, Phil, what----" Elinor was about to say folly: but she paused, +seeing a look in his eye which she had already learned to know, and +added "fun," in a voice which sounded almost like an echo of his own. + +"There is nothing like being out in the wilderness like this to make one +relish a little fun, eh? I daresay you always go. The Jew is the one for +every village fair within ten miles when she is in the country. She says +they're better than any play. Hallo! what is that?" + +"It is some one coming round the gravel path." + +A more simple statement could not be, but it made Compton strangely +uneasy. He rose up hastily from the table. "It is, perhaps, the man I am +looking for. If you'll permit me, I'll go and see." + +He went out of the room, calling Elinor by a look and slight movement of +his head, but when he came out into the hall was met by a trim clerical +figure and genial countenance, the benign yet self-assured looks of the +Rector of the Parish: none other could this smiling yet important +personage be. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + + +The Rector came in with his smiling and rosy face. He was, as many of +his parishioners thought, a picture of a country clergyman. Such a +healthy colour, as clear as a girl's, limpid blue eyes, with very light +eyelashes and eyebrows; a nice round face, "beautifully modelled," +according to Miss Sarah Hill, who did a little in that way herself, and +knew how to approve of a Higher Sculptor's work. And then the neatest +and blackest of coats, and the whitest and stiffest of collars. Mr. +Hudson, I need scarcely say, was not so left to himself as to permit his +clerical character to be divined by means of a white tie. He came in, as +was natural among country neighbours, without thinking of any bell or +knocker on the easily opened door, and was about to peep into the +drawing-room with "Anybody in?" upon his smiling lips, when he saw a +gentleman approaching, picking up his hat as he advanced. Mr. Hudson +paused a moment in uncertainty. "Mr. Compton, I am sure," he said, +holding out both of his plump pink hands. "Ah, Elinor too! I was +sure I could not be mistaken. And I am exceedingly glad to make your +acquaintance." He shook Phil's hand up and down in a sort of see-saw. +"Very glad to make your acquaintance! though you are the worst enemy +Windyhill has had for many a day--carrying off the finest lamb in all +the fold." + +"Yes, I'm a wolf, I suppose," said Phil. He went to the door and took a +long look out while Elinor led the Rector into the drawing-room. Then +Mr. Compton lounged in after them, with his hands in his pockets, and +placed himself in the bow-window, where he could still see the white +line across the combe of the distant road. + +"They'll think I have stolen a march upon them all, Elinor," said the +Rector, "chancing upon Mr. Compton like this, a quite unexpected +pleasure. I shall keep them on the tenterhooks, asking them whom they +suppose I have met? and they will give everybody but the right person. +What a thing for me to have been the first person to see your intended, +my dear! and I congratulate you, Elinor," said the Rector, dropping his +voice; "a fine handsome fellow, and such an air! You are a lucky girl--" +he paused a little and said, with a slight hesitation, in a whisper, "so +far as meets the eye." + +"Oh, Mr. Hudson, don't spoil everything," said Elinor, in the same tone. + +"Well, I cannot tell, can I, my dear?--the first peep I have had." He +cleaved his throat and raised his voice. "I believe we are to have the +pleasure of entertaining you, Mr. Compton, on a certain joyful occasion +(joyful to you, not to us). I need not say how pleased my wife and I +and the other members of the family will be. There are not very many of +us--we are only five in number--my son, and my daughter, and Miss Dale, +my wife's sister, but much younger than Mrs. Hudson--who has done us the +pleasure of staying with us for part of the year. I think she has met +you somewhere, or knows some of your family, or--something. She is a +great authority on noble families. I don't know whether it is because +she has been a good deal in society, or whether it is out of +Debrett----" + +"Nell, come and tell me what this is," Compton said. + +"Oh, Phil! it is nothing, it is a carriage. I don't know what it is. Be +civil to the Rector, please." + +"So I am, perfectly civil." + +"You have not answered a single word, and he has been talking to you for +ten minutes." + +"Well, but he hasn't said anything that I can answer. He says Miss +Something or other knows my family. Perhaps she does. Well, much good +may it do her! but what can I say to that? I am sure I don't know hers. +I didn't come here to be talked to by the Rector. Could we slip out and +leave him with your mother? That would suit his book a great deal +better. Come, let's go." + +"Oh! he is speaking to you, Phil." + +Compton turned round and eyed the Rector. "Yes?" he said in so marked an +interrogative that Mr. Hudson stopped short and flushed. He had been +talking for some time. + +"Oh! I was not precisely asking a question," he said, in his quiet +tones. "I was saying that we believe and hope that another gentleman is +coming with you--for the occasion." + +"Dick Bolsover," said Compton, "a son of Lord Freshfield's; perhaps Miss +----, the lady you were talking of, may know his family too. His brother +got a little talked of in that affair about Fille d'Or, don't you know, +at Newmarket. But Dick is a rattling good fellow, doesn't race, and has +no vices. He is coming to stand by me and see that all's right." + +"We shall be happy to see Mr. Bolsover, I am sure." The Rector rubbed +his hands and said to himself with pleasure that two Honourables in his +quiet house was something to think of, and that he hoped it would not +turn the heads of the ladies, and make Alice expect--one couldn't tell +what. And then he said, by way of changing yet continuing the subject, +"I suppose you've been looking at the presents. Elinor must have shown +you her presents." + +"By Jove, I never thought of the presents. Have you got a lot, Nell?" + +"She has got, if I may be allowed to answer for her, having known her +all her life, a great many pretty things, Mr. Compton. We are not rich, +to be sure, her old friends here. We have to content ourselves with but +a small token of a great deal of affection; but still there are a number +of pretty things. Elinor, what were you thinking of, my dear, not to +show Mr. Compton the little set out which you showed us? Come, I should +myself like to look them over again." + +Phil gave another long look at the distant road, and then he thrust his +arm into Elinor's and said, "To be sure, come along, Nell. It will be +something to do." He did not wait for the Rector to pass first, which +Elinor thought would have been better manners, but thrust her before him +quite regardless of the older people. "Let's see the trumpery," he said. + +"Don't use such a word, Phil: the Rector will be so hurt." + +"Oh, will he? did he work you an--antimacassar or something?" + +"Phil, speak low at least. No, but his daughter did; and they gave +me----" + +"I know: a cardcase or a button-hook, or something. And how many +biscuit-boxes have you got, and clocks, and that sort of thing? I advise +you to have an auction as soon as we get away. Hallo! that's a nice +little thing; look pretty on your pretty white neck I should say, Nell. +Who gave you that?" He took John's necklace out of its box where it had +lain undisturbed until now, and pulled it through his fingers. "Cost a +pretty bit of money that, I should say. You can raise the wind on it +when we're down on our luck, Nell." + +"My cousin John, whom you have heard me speak of, gave me that, Phil," +said Elinor, with great gravity. She thought it necessary, she could +scarcely tell why, to make a stand for her cousin John. + +"Ah, I thought it was one of the disappointed ones," said Phil, flinging +it back carelessly onto the bed of white velvet where it had been fitted +so exactly. "That's how they show their spite; for of course I can't +give you anything half as good as that." + +"There was no disappointment in the matter," said Elinor, almost angry +with the misconceptions of her lover. + +"You are a nice one," said Compton, taking her by the chin, "to tell me! +as if I didn't know the world a long sight better than you do, my little +Nell." + +The Rector, who was following slowly, for he did not like to go up-stairs +in a hurry, saw this attitude and drew back, a little scandalized. +"Perhaps we were indiscreet to--to follow them too closely," he said, +disconcerted. "Please to go in first, Mrs. Dennistoun--the young couple +will not mind you." + +Mr. Hudson was prim; but he was rather pleased to see that "the young +couple" were, as he said, so fond of each other. He went into the room +under the protection of the mother--blushing a little. It reminded him, +as he said afterwards, of his own young days; but it was only natural +that he should walk up direct to the place where his kettle stood +conspicuous, waiting only the spark of a match to begin to boil the +water for the first conjugal tea. It appeared to him a beautiful +idea as he put his head on one side and looked at it. It was like the +inauguration of the true British fireside, the cosy privacy in which, +after the man had done his work, the lady awaited him at home, with the +tea-kettle steaming. A generation before Mr. Hudson there would have +been a pair of slippers airing beside the fire. But neither of these +preparations supply the ideal of perfect happiness now. + +"I say, where did you get these hideous things?" said Compton, +approaching the table on which "the silver" was laid out. By a special +dispensation it was Lady Mariamne's dishes which caught Phil's +attention. "Some old grandmother, I suppose, that had 'em in the house. +Hallo! if it isn't the Jew! Nell, you don't mean to tell me you got +these horrors from the Jew?" + +"They are supposed to be--quite handsome," said Elinor, with a +suppressed laugh. "We must not criticise. It is very kind of people to +send presents at all. We all know it is a very severe tax--to those who +have a great many friends----" + +"The stingy old miser," said Compton. "Rolling in money, and to send you +these! By Jove! there's a neat little thing now that looks what it is; +probably one of your nice country friends, Nell----" (It was the kettle, +as a kind Providence decreed; and both the ladies breathed an internal +thanksgiving.) "Shows like a little gem beside that old, thundering, +mean-spirited Jew!" + +"That," said the Rector, bridling a little and pink with pleasure, "is +our little offering: and I'm delighted to think that it should please so +good a judge. It was chosen with great care. I saw it first myself, +and the idea flashed upon me--quite an inspiration--that it was the +very thing for Elinor; and when I went home I told my wife--the very +thing--for her boudoir, should she not be seeing company--or just for +your little teas when you are by yourselves. I could at once imagine the +dear girl looking so pretty in one of those wonderful white garments +that are in the next room." + +"Hallo!" said Compton, with a laugh, "do you show off your things in +this abandoned way, Nell, to the killingest old cov----" + +She put her hand up to his mouth with a cry of dismay and laughter, but +the Rector, with a smile and another little blush, discreetly turned his +back. He was truly glad to see that they were so fond of each other, and +thought it was pretty and innocent that they should not mind showing +it--but it was a little embarrassing for an old and prim clergyman to +look on. + +"What a pleasure it must be to you, my dear lady," he said when the +young couple had gone: which took place very soon, for Phil soon grew +tired of the presents, and he was ill at ease when there was no window +from which he could watch the road--"what a pleasure to see them so much +attached! Of course, family advantage and position is always of +importance--but when you get devoted affection, too----" + +"I hope there is devoted affection," said Mrs. Dennistoun; "at all +events, there is what we are all united in calling 'love,' for the +present. He is in love with Elinor--I don't think there can be much +doubt of that." + +"I did not of course know that he was here," said the Rector, with some +hesitation. "I came with the intention of speaking--I am very sorry to +see in the papers to-day something about that Joint-Stock Company of +which Mr. Compton was a director. It's rather a mysterious paragraph: +but it's something about the manager having absconded, and that some of +the directors are said to be involved." + +"Do you mean my future son-in-law?" she said, turning quickly upon him. + +"Good heavens, no! I wouldn't for the world insinuate---- It was only +that one felt a desire to know. Just upon the eve of a marriage +it's--it's alarming to hear of a business the bridegroom is involved in +being--what you may call broken up." + +"That was one of the things Mr. Compton came to tell us about," said +Mrs. Dennistoun. "He said he hoped it might be kept out of the papers, +but that some of the books have got lost or destroyed. I am afraid I +know very little about business. But he has lost very little--nothing to +speak of--which was all that concerned me." + +"To be sure," said the Rector, but in a tone not so assured as his +words. "It is not perhaps quite a nice thing to be director of a company +that--that collapses in this way. I fear some poor people will lose +their money. I fear there will be things in the papers." + +"On what ground?" she said. "Oh, I don't deny there may be some one to +blame; but Mr. Compton was, I suspect, only on the board for the sake of +his name. He is not a business man. He did it, as so many do, for the +sake of a pretence of being in something. And then, I believe, the +directors got a little by it; they had a few hundreds a year." + +"To be sure," said Mr. Hudson, but still doubtfully; and then he +brightened up. "For my part, I don't believe there is a word of truth in +it. Since I have seen him, indeed, I have quite changed my opinion--a +fine figure of a man, looking an aristocrat every inch of him. Such a +contrast and complement to our dear Elinor--and so fond of her. A man +like that would never have a hand in any sham concern. If it was really +a bogus company, as people say, he must be one of the sufferers. That is +quite my decided opinion; only the ladies, you know--the ladies who have +not seen him, and who are so much more suspicious by nature (I don't +know that you are, my dear Mrs. Dennistoun), would give me no rest. They +thought it was my duty to interfere. But I am sure they are quite +wrong." + +To think that it was the ladies of the Rector's family who were +interfering made Mrs. Dennistoun very wroth. "Next time they have +anything to say, you should make them come themselves," she said. + +"Oh, they would not do that. They say it is the clergyman's business, +not theirs. Besides, you know, I have not time to read all the papers. +We get the _Times_, and Mary Dale has the _Morning Post_, and another +thing that is all about stocks and shares. She has such a head for +business--far more than I can pretend to. She thought----" + +"Mr. Hudson, I fear I do not wish to know what was thought by Miss +Dale." + +"Well, you are, perhaps, right, Mrs. Dennistoun. She is only a woman, +of course, and she may make mistakes. It is astonishing, though, how +often she is right. She has a head for business that might do for a +Chancellor of the Exchequer. She made me sell out my shares in that Red +Gulch--those American investments have most horrible names--just a week +before the smash came, all from what she had read in the papers. She +knows how to put things together, you see. So I have reason to be +grateful to her, for my part." + +"And what persuaded you, here at Windyhill, a quiet clergyman, to put +money in any Red Gulch? It is a horrible name!" + +"Oh, it was Mary, I suppose," said Mr. Hudson. "She is always looking +out for new investments. She said we should all make our fortunes. We +did not, unfortunately. But she is so clever, she got us out of it with +only a very small loss indeed." + +"No doubt she is very clever. I wish, though, that she would let us know +definitely on what ground----" + +"Oh, there is no ground," cried the Rector. "Now that I have seen Mr. +Compton I am certain of it. I said to her before I left the Rectory, +'Now, my dear Mary, I am going like a lamb to the slaughter. I have no +reason to give if Mrs. Dennistoun should ask me, and you have no reason +to give. And she will probably put me to the door.' If I said that +before I started, you may fancy how much more I feel it now, when I have +made Mr. Compton's acquaintance. A fine aristocratic face, and all the +ease of high breeding. There are only three lives--and those not very +good ones--between him and the title, I believe?" + +"Two robust brothers, and an invalid who will probably outlive them all; +that is, I believe, the state of the case." + +"Dear me, what a pity!" said the Rector, "for our little Elinor would +have made a sweet little Countess. She would grow a noble lady, like the +one in Mr. Tennyson's poem. Well, now I must be going, and I am +extremely glad to have been so lucky as to come in just in time. It has +been the greatest pleasure to me to see them together--such a loving +couple. Dear me, like what one reads about, or remembers in old days, +not like the commonplace pairs one has to do with now." + +Mrs. Dennistoun accompanied the Rector to the garden gate. She was half +inclined to laugh and half to be angry, and in neither mood did Mr. +Hudson's insinuations which he made so innocently have much effect +upon her mind. But when she took leave of him at the gate and came +slowly back among her brilliant flower-beds, pausing here and there +mechanically to pick off a withered leaf or prop up the too heavy head +of a late rose; her mind began to take another turn. She had always been +conscious of an instinctive suspicion in respect to her daughter's +lover. Probably only, she said to herself, because he was her daughter's +lover, and she was jealous of the new devotion that withdrew from her so +completely the young creature who had been so fully her own. That is a +hard trial for a woman to undergo. It is only to be borne when she, too, +is fascinated by her future son-in-law, as happens in some fortunate +cases. Otherwise, a woman with an only child is an alarming critic to +encounter. She was not fascinated at all by Phil. She was disappointed +in Elinor, and almost thought her child not so perfect as she had +believed, when it proved that she could be fascinated by this man. She +disliked almost everything about him--his looks, the very air which the +Rector thought so aristocratic, his fondness for Elinor, which was not +reverential enough to please the mother, and his indifference, nay, +contempt, for herself, which was not calculated to please any woman. She +had been roused into defence of him in anger at the interference, and at +the insinuation which had no proof; but as that anger died away, other +thoughts came into her mind. She began to put the broken facts together +which already had roused her to suspicion: his sudden arrival, so +unexpected; walking from the station--a long, very long walk--carrying +his own bag, which was a thing John Tatham did, but not like Phil +Compton. And then she remembered, suddenly, his anxiety about the +carriage on the distant road, his care to place himself where he could +see it. She had thought with a little scorn that this was a proof of his +frivolity, of the necessity of seeing people, whoever these people might +be. But now there began to be in it something that could have a deeper +meaning. For whom was he looking? Who might be coming? Stories she had +heard of fugitives from justice, of swindlers taking refuge in the +innocence of their families, came up into her mind. Could it be possible +that Elinor's pure name could be entangled in such a guilty web as this? + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + + +"Funny old poop!" said Compton. "And that is your Rector, Nell. I shall +tell Dick there's rare fun to be had in that house: but not for me. I +know what I shall be thinking of all the time I'm there. Odious little +Nell! to interfere like this with a fellow's fun. But I say, who's that +woman who knows me or my family?--much good may it do her, as I said +before. Tell me, Nell, did she speak ill of me?" + +"Oh, Phil, how could you ask? or what would it matter if she spoke ever +so ill?" + +"She did then," he said with a graver face. "Somebody was bound to do +it. And what did she say?" + +"Oh, what does it matter, Phil? I don't remember; nothing of any +consequence. We paid no attention, of course, neither mamma nor I." + +"That was plucky of the old girl," said Compton. "I didn't suppose you +would give ear, my Nell. Ain't so sure about her. If I'd been your +father, my pet, I should never have given you to Phil Compton. And +that's the fact: I wonder if the old lady would like to reconsider the +situation now." + +"Phil!" said Elinor, clinging to his arm. + +"Perhaps it would be best for you if you were to do so, Nell, or if she +were to insist upon it. Eh! You don't know me, my darling, that's the +fact. You're too good to understand us. We're all the same, from the old +governor downwards--a bad lot. I feel a kind of remorseful over you, +child, to-day. That rosy old bloke, though he's a snob, makes a man +think of innocence somehow. I do believe you oughtn't to marry me, +Nell." + +"Oh, Phil! what do you mean? You cannot mean what you say." + +"I suppose I don't, or I shouldn't say it, Nell. I shouldn't certainly, +if I thought you were likely to take my advice. It's a kind of luxury to +tell you we're a bad lot, and bid you throw me over, when I know all +along you won't." + +"I should think not indeed," she said, clinging to him and looking up in +his face. "Do you know what my cous--I mean a friend, said to me on that +subject?" + +"You mean your cousin John, whom you are always quoting. Let's hear what +the fellow said." + +"He said--that I wasn't a girl to put up with much, Phil. That I wasn't +one of the patient kind, that I would not bear---- I don't know what it +was I would not bear; but you see you must consider my defects, which +you can understand well enough, whether I can understand yours or not." + +"That you could not put up with--that you could not bear? that meant me, +Nell. He had been talking to you on the same subject, me and my faults. +Why didn't you listen to him? I suppose he wanted you to have him +instead of me." + +"Phil! how dare you even think of such a thing? It is not true." + +"Wasn't it? Then he is a greater fool than I took him for, and his +opinion's no good. So you're a spitfire, are you? Can't put up with +anything that doesn't suit you? I don't know that I should have found +that out." + +"I am afraid though that it is true," she said, half-laughingly looking +up at him. "Perhaps you will want to reconsider too." + +"If you don't want it any more than I want it, Nell---- What's that?" he +cried hastily, changing his expression and attitude in a moment. "Is +that one of your neighbours at the gate?" + +Elinor looked round, starting away a little from his side, and saw some +one--a man she had never seen before--approaching along the path. She +was just about to say she did not know who it was when Phil, to her +astonishment, stepped past her, advancing to meet the newcomer. But as +he did so he put out his hand and caught her as he passed, leading her +along with him. + +"Mind what I said, and stick to me," he said, in a whisper; then-- + +"Stanfield!" he cried with an air of perfect ease and cordiality, yet +astonishment. "I thought it looked like you, but I could not believe my +eyes." + +"Mr. Compton!" said the other. "So you are here. I have been hunting +after you all over the place. I heard only this morning this was a +likely spot." + +"A very likely spot!" said Phil. "I suppose you know the good reason I +have for being in these parts. Elinor, this is Mr. Stanfield, who has to +do with our company, don't you know. But I say, Stanfield, what's all +this row in the papers? Is it true that Brown's bolted? I should have +taken the first train to see if I could help; but my private affairs are +most urgent just at this moment, as I suppose you know." + +"I wish you had come," said the other; "it would have looked well, and +pleased the rest of the directors. There has been some queer +business--some of the books abstracted or destroyed, we can't tell +which, and no means of knowing how we stand." + +"Good Heavens!" said Phil, "to cover that fellow's retreat." + +"It you mean Brown, it was not he. They were all there safe enough after +he was gone; somebody must have got in by night and made off with them, +some one that knew all about the place; the watchman saw a light, but +that's all. It's supposed there must have been something compromising +others besides Brown. He could not have cheated the company to such an +extent by himself." + +"Good Heavens!" cried Phil again in natural horror; "I wish I had +followed my impulse and gone up to town straight: but it was very vague +what was in the papers; I hoped it might not have been our place at all. +And I say, Stanfield--who's the fellow they suspect?" Elinor had +disengaged herself from Compton's arm; she perceived vaguely that the +stranger paused before he replied, and that Phil, facing him with a +certain square attitude of opposition which affected her imagination +vaguely, though she did not understand why--was waiting with keen +attention for his reply. She said, a little oppressed by the situation, +"Phil, perhaps I had better go." + +"Don't go," he said; "there's nothing secret to say. If there's anyone +suspected it must very soon be known." + +"It's difficult to say who is suspected," said the stranger, confused. +"I don't know that there's much evidence. You've been in Scotland?" + +"Yes, till the other day, when I came down here to see----" He paused +and turned upon Elinor a look which gave the girl the most curious +incomprehensible pang. It was a look of love; but, oh! heaven, was it a +look called up that the other man might see? He took her hand in his, +and said lightly yet tenderly, "Let's see, what day was it? the sixth, +wasn't it the sixth, Nell?" + +A flood of conflicting thoughts poured through Elinor's mind. What did +it mean? It was yesterday, she was about to say, but something stopped +her, something in Phil's eye--in the touch of his hand. There was +something warning, almost threatening, in his eye. Stand by me; mind you +don't contradict me; say what I say. All these things which he had +repeated again and again were said once more in the look he gave her. +"Yes," she said timidly, with a hesitation very unlike Elinor, "it was +the sixth." She seemed to see suddenly as she said the words that +calendar with the date hanging in the hall: the big 6 seemed to hang +suspended in the air. It was true, though she could not tell how it +could be so. + +"Oh," said Stanfield, in a tone which betrayed a little surprise, and +something like disappointment, "the sixth? I knew you had left Scotland, +but we did not know where you had gone." + +"That's not to be wondered at," said Phil, with a laugh, "for I should +have gone to Ireland, to tell the truth; I ought to have been there now. +I'm going to-morrow, ain't I, Nell? I had not a bit of business to be +here. Winding up affairs in the bachelor line, don't you know; but I had +to come on my way west to see this young lady first. It plays the deuce +and all with one's plans when there's such a temptation in the way." + +"You could have gone from Scotland to Ireland," said Stanfield, gravely, +"without coming to town at all." + +"Very true, old man. You speak like a book. But, as you perceive, I have +not gone to Ireland at all; I am here. Depends upon your motive, I +suppose, which way you go." + +"It is a good way roundabout," said the other, without relaxing the +intent look on his face. + +"Well," said Phil, "that's as one feels. I go by Holyhead wherever I may +be--even if I had nowhere else to go to on the way." + +"And Mr. Compton got here on the sixth?--this is the eighth," said the +stranger, pointedly. He turned to Elinor, and it seemed to the girl that +his eyes, though they were not remarkable eyes, went through and through +her. He spoke very slowly, with a curious meaning. "But it was on the +sixth, you say, that he got here?" + +That big 6 on the calendar stood out before her eyes; it seemed to cover +all the man's figure that stood before her. Elinor's heart and mind went +through the strangest convulsion. Was it false--was it true? What was +she saying? What did it all mean? She repeated mechanically, "It was on +the sixth," and then she recovered a kind of desperate courage, and +throwing off the strange spell that seemed to be upon her, "Is there any +reason," she asked, suddenly, with a little burst of impatience, looking +from one to another, "why it should not be the sixth, that you repeat it +so?" + +"I beg your pardon," said the stranger, visibly startled. "I did not +mean to imply--only thought----Pray, Mr. Compton, tell the lady I had no +intention of offending. I never supposed----" + +Phil's laugh, loud and clear, rang through the stillness of the afternoon. +"He's so used to fibs, he thinks everybody's in a tale," said Phil, "but +I can assure you he is a very good fellow, and a great friend of mine, +and he means no harm, Nell." + +Elinor made Mr. Stanfield an extremely dignified bow. "I ought to have +gone away at once, and left you to talk over your business," she said, +turning away, and Phil did not attempt to detain her. Then the natural +rural sense of hospitality came over Elinor. She turned back to find the +two men looking after her, standing where she had left them. "I am +sure," she said, "that mamma would wish me to ask the gentleman if he +would stay to dinner--or at least come in with you, Phil, to tea." + +Mr. Stanfield took off his hat with anxious politeness, and exclaimed +hastily that he must go back to town by the next train, and that the cab +from the station was waiting to take him. And then she left them, and +walked quietly away. She was almost out of hearing before they resumed +their conversation; that is, she was beyond the sound, not of their +voices, but of what they said. The murmur of the voices was still +audible when she got to her favourite seat on the side of the copse +looking down the combe. It was a very retired and silent place, not +visible from either the cottage or the garden. And there Elinor took +refuge in the quiet and hush of the declining day. She was in a great +tremor of agitation and excitement as she sat down upon the rustic +seat--so great a tremor that she had scarcely been able to walk steadily +down the roughly-made steps--a tremor which had grown with every step +she took. She did not in the least understand the transaction in which +she had been engaged. It was something altogether strange to her +experiences, without any precedent in her life. What was it she had been +called upon to do? What had she said, and why had she been made to say +it? Her heart beat so that she put her two hands upon it crossed over +her breast to keep it down, lest it should burst away. She had the +sensation of having been brought before some tribunal, put suddenly +to the last shift, made to say--what, what? She was so bewildered +that she could not tell. Was it the truth, said with the intention to +deceive--was it----? She could not tell. There was that great numeral +wavering in the air, stalking along with her like a ghost. 6--. She had +read it in all innocence, they had all read it, and nobody had said it +was wrong. No one was very careful about the date in the cottage. If it +was right, if it was wrong, Elinor could not tell. But yet somehow she +was conscious that the man to whom she had spoken had been deceived. +And Phil! and Phil! what had he meant, adjuring her to stick to him, to +stand by him, not to contradict him? Elinor's mind was in such a wild +commotion that she could not answer these inquiries. She could not feel +that she had one solid step of ground to place herself upon in the +whirlwind which swept her about and about. Had she--lied? And why had he +asked her to lie? And what, oh, what did it all mean? + +One thing that at last appeared to her in the chaos which seemed like +something solid that she could grasp at was that Phil had never changed +in his aspect. The other man had been very serious, staring at her as if +to intimidate her, like a man who had something to find out; but Phil +had been as careless, as indifferent, as he appeared always to be. He +had not changed his expression. It is true there was that look in which +there was at once an entreaty and a command--but only she had seen +that, and perhaps it was merely the emotion, the excitement, the strange +feeling of having to face the world for him, and say----what, what? +Was it simply, the truth, nothing but the truth, or was it---- Again +Elinor's mind began to whirl. It was the truth: she could see now that +big 6 on the calendar distinct as the sunshine. And yet it was only +yesterday--and there was 8 this morning. Had she gone through an +intervening dream for a whole day without knowing it; or had she, +Elinor--she who would not have done it to save her life--told--a lie for +Phil? And why should he want her to tell a lie? + +Elinor got up from her seat, and stood uncertain, with a cold dew on her +forehead, and her hands clasping and holding each other. Should she go +back to them and say there must be some mistake--that though she had +said the truth it was not true, that there was some mistake, some +dreadful mistake! There was no longer any sound of voices where she was. +The whole incident seemed to have died out. The sudden commotion of +Phil's visit and everything connected with it had passed away. She was +alone in the afternoon, in the hush of nature, looking over the combe, +listening to the rustle of the trees, hearing the bees drone homeward. +Had Phil ever been here at all? Had he watched the distant road winding +over the slopes for some one whom he had expected to come after him all +the time? Had he ever told her to stand by him? to say what he said, to +back him up? Had there ever been another man standing with that big 6 +wavering between her and him like a ghost? Had all that been at all, or +was it merely a foolish dream? And ought she to go back now, and find +the man before he disappeared, and tell him it was all true, yet somehow +a dreadful, dreadful mistake? + +Elinor sat down again abruptly on her seat, and put her handkerchief to +her forehead and pushed back the damp clusters of her hair, turning her +face to the wind to get a little refreshment and calm, if that were +possible. She heard in the sunny distance behind her, where the garden +and the peaceful house lay in the light, the clang of the gate, a sound +which could not be mistaken. The man then had gone--if there was +anything to rectify in what she said it certainly could not be rectified +now--he was gone. The certainty came to her with a feeling of relief. It +had been horrible to think of standing before the two men again and +saying--what could she have said? She remembered now that it was not her +assertion alone, but that it all hung together, a whole structure of +incidents, which would be put wrong if she had said it was a mistake--a +whole account of Phil's time, how it had been passed--which was quite +true, which he had told them on his arrival; how he had been going to +Ireland, and had stopped, longing for a glimpse of her, his bride, +feeling that he must have her by him, see her once again before he came +for her to fetch her away. He had told the ladies at the cottage the +very same, and of course it was true. Had he not come straight from +Scotland with his big bundle of game, the grouse and partridges which +had already been shared with all the friends about? Was he not going off +to Ireland to-morrow to fulfil his first intention? It was all quite +right, quite true, hanging perfectly together--except that curious +falling out of a day. And then again Elinor's brain swam round and +round. Had he been two days at the cottage instead of one, as he said? +Was it there that the mistake lay? Had she been in such a fool's +paradise having him there, that she had not marked the passage of +time--had it all been one hour of happiness flying like the wind? A +blush, partly of sweet shame to think that this was possible, that she +might have been such a happy fool as to ignore the divisions of night +and day, and partly of stimulating hope that such might be the case, a +wild snatch at justification of herself and him flushed over her from +head to foot, wrapping her in warmth and delight; and then this all +faded away again and left her as in ashes--black and cold. No! +everything, she saw, now depended upon what she had been impelled to +say; the whole construction, Phil's account of his time, his story of +his doings--all would have fallen to pieces had she said otherwise. +Body and soul, Elinor felt herself become like a machine full of +clanging wheels and beating pistons, her heart, her pulses, her breath, +all panting, beating, bursting. What did it mean? What did it mean? And +then everything stood still in a horrible suspense and pause. + +She began to hear voices again in the distance and raised her head, +which she had buried in her hands--voices that sounded so calmly in the +westering sunshine, one answering another, everything softened in the +golden outdoor light. At first as she raised herself up she thought with +horror that it was the man, the visitor whom she had supposed to be +gone, returning with Phil to give her the opportunity of contradicting +herself, of bringing back that whirlwind of doubt and possibility. But +presently her excited senses perceived that it was her mother who was +walking calmly through the garden talking with Phil. There was not a +tone of excitement in the quiet voices that came gradually nearer and +nearer, till she could hear what they were saying. It was Phil who was +speaking, while her mother now and then put in a word. Elinor did not +wish on ordinary occasions for too many private talks between her mother +and Phil. They rubbed each other the wrong way, they did not understand +each other, words seemed to mean different things in their comprehension +of them. She knew that her lover would laugh at "the old girl," which +was a phrase which offended Elinor deeply, and Mrs. Dennistoun would +become stiffer and stiffer, declaring that the very language of the +younger generation had become unintelligible to her. But to hear them +now together was a kind of anodyne to Elinor, it stayed and calmed +her. The cold moisture dried from her forehead. She smoothed her hair +instinctively with her hand, and put herself straight in mind as she did +with that involuntary action in outward appearance, feeling that no sign +of agitation, no trouble of demeanour must meet her mother's eye. And +then the voices came so near that she could hear what they were saying. +They were coming amicably together to her favourite retreat. + +"It's a very queer thing," said Phil, "if it is as they think, that +somebody went there the night before last and cleared off the books. +Well, not all the books, some that are supposed to contain the secret +transactions. Deucedly cleverly done it must have been, if it was done +at all, for nobody saw the fellow, or fellows, if there were more than +one----" + +"Why do you doubt?" said Mrs. Dennistoun. "Is there any way of +accounting for it otherwise?" + +"Oh, a very good way--that Brown, the manager, simply took them with +him, as he would naturally do, if he wasn't a fool. Why should he go off +and leave papers that would convict him, for the pleasure of involving +other fellows, and ruining them too?" + +"Are there others, then, involved with him?" Oh, how calm, how +inconceivably calm, was Mrs. Dennistoun's voice! Had she been asking the +gardener about the slugs that eat the young plants it would have been +more disturbed. + +"Well, Stanfield seemed to think so. He's a sort of head clerk, a fellow +enormously trusted. I shouldn't wonder if he was at the bottom of it +himself, they're so sure of him," said Phil, with a laugh. "He says +there's a kind of suspicion of two or three. Clumsy wretches they must +be if they let themselves be found out like that. But I don't believe +it. I believe Brown's alone in it, and that it's him that's taken +everything away. I believe it's far the safest way in those kind of +dodges to be alone. You get all the swag, and you're in no danger of +being rounded on, don't you know--till you find things are getting too +hot, and you cut away." + +"I don't understand the words you use, but I think I know what you +mean," said Mrs. Dennistoun. "How dreadful it is to think that in +business, where honesty is the very first principle, there should be +such terrible plots and plans as those!" + +"'Tis awful, isn't it?" said Phil, with a laugh that seemed to ring all +down the combe, and came back in echoes from the opposite slope, where +in the distance the cab from the station was seen hastening back towards +the railway in a cloud of dust. The laugh was like a trumpet of triumph +flung across the distance at the discomfited enemy thus going off +drooping in the hurry of defeat. He added, "But you may imagine, even if +I had known anything, he wouldn't have got much out of me. I didn't know +anything, however, I'm very glad to say." + +"That is always the best," said Mrs. Dennistoun, with a certain grave +didactic tone. "And here is Elinor, as I thought. When one cannot find +her anywhere else she's sure to be found here." + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + + +"Well," said Compton, placing himself beside her, "here you are, Nell; +kind of the old lady to bring me, wasn't it? I should never have found +you out by myself." + +"Has he gone, Phil?" Elinor raised her scared face from her hands, and +gave him a piteous look. + +"Why, Nell! you are trembling like a leaf. Was it frightened, my pretty +pet, for Stanny? Stanny's gone off with his tail between his legs. Not a +bit of starch left in him. As limp a lawyer as ever you saw." + +"Was he a lawyer?" she said, not knowing why she said it, for it +mattered nothing at all to Elinor what the man was. + +"Not exactly; and yet, I suppose, something of the kind. He is the one +that knows about law points, and such things. But now he's as quiet as a +lamb, thanks to you." + +"Phil," she cried, "what did you make me say? I don't know what I have +done. I have done something dreadful--deceived the man, as good as told +him a lie." + +"You told him the truth," said Phil, with a laugh, "in the most +judgmatical way. You stuck to it like a--woman. There's nothing like a +woman for sticking to a text. You didn't say a word too much. And I say, +Nell, that little defiant bit of yours--'Was there any reason why it +shouldn't be the sixth?' was grand. That was quite magnificent, my pet. +I never thought you had such spirit in you." + +"Oh, Phil," she cried, "why did you make me say it? What was it I said? +I don't know; I don't understand a bit. Whatever it was, I know that it +was wrong. I deceived the man." + +"That's not so great a sin," he said. "I've known worse things done. Put +an old reynard off the scent to save his prey. I don't see what's wrong +in that, especially as the innocent chicken to be saved was your own +poor old Phil." + +"Phil, Phil," she cried, "what could that man have done to you? What had +put you in his power? You have made me lose all my innocence. I have got +horrible things in my head. What could he have done to you that you made +me tell a lie?" + +"What lie did I make you tell? be reasonable; I did arrive on the sixth, +you know that just as well as I do. Don't you really remember the +calendar in the hall? You saw it, Nell, as well as I." + +"I know, I know," she cried, putting her hands up to her eyes, "I see it +everywhere staring at me, that big, dreadful 6. But how is it the 8th +now? There is something in it--something I don't understand." + +He laughed loudly and long: one of those boisterous laughs which always +jarred upon Elinor. "I don't in the least mind how it was," he said. "It +was, and that's quite enough for me; and let it be for you too, Nell. I +hope you're not going to search into the origin of things like this; +we've quite enough to do in this world to take things as they come." + +"Oh, Phil! if at least I could understand--I don't understand: or if I +had not been made to say what is so mysterious--what must be false." + +"Hush, Nell; how could it be false when you saw with your own eyes it +was true? Now let us be done with this, my darling. The incident is +terminated, as the French say. I came here as fast as I could come to +have a good laugh with you over it, and lo! you're nearer crying. Why +should you have Stanny on your conscience, Nell? a fellow that would +like no better than to hang me if he could get the chance." + +"But Phil, Phil--oh, tell me, what could this man have done to you? Why +are you afraid of him? Why, why have you made me tell him----" + +"Now, Nell, no exaggerated expression. It was a fact you told him, +according to the best of evidence; and what he could have done to me is +just this--he might have given me a deal of trouble, and put off our +marriage. I should have had to go back to town, and my time would have +been taken up with finding out about those books, and our marriage would +have been put off; that's what he could have done." + +"Is that all?" cried Elinor, "was that all?" + +"All!" he said, with that loud laugh again; "you don't mind a bit how +you hurt a fellow's pride, and his affections, and all that. Do you mean +to say, you hard-hearted little coquette, that you wouldn't mind? I +don't believe you would mind! Here am I counting the hours, and you, you +little cold puss, you aggravating little----" + +"Oh, Phil, don't talk such nonsense. If we were to be separated, for a +week or a month, what could that matter, in comparison with saying what +wasn't----" + +"Hush," he said, putting his hand to her mouth. "It's not nice of you +to take it so easily, Nell. I'd tell as many what-d'ye-call-'ems as +you like, rather than put it off an hour. Why, feeling apart (and I +don't think you've any feeling, you little piece of ice), think how +inconvenient it would have been; the people all arriving; the breakfast +all ready; the Rector with his surplice on; and no wedding! Fancy the +Jew with all her fallals, on the old lady's hands, and your cousin +John----" + +"I have told you already, Phil, my cousin John will not be there." + +"So much the better," he said, with a laugh, "I don't want him to be +there--shows his sense, when his nose is put out of joint, to keep out +of the way." + +"I wish you would understand," she said, with a little vexation, "that +John is not put out of joint, as you say in that odious way. He has +never been anything more to me, nor I to him, than we are now--like +brother and sister." + +"The more fool he," said Compton, "to have the chance of a nice girl +like you, Nell, and not to go in for it. But I don't believe a bit in +the brother and sister dodge." + +"We will be just the same all our lives," cried Elinor. + +"Not if I know it," said Phil. "I'm an easy-going fellow in most ways, +but you'll find I'm an old Turk about you, my little duck of a Nell. No +amateur brother for me. If you can't get along with your old Phil, +without other adorers----" + +"Phil! as if I should ever think or care whether there was another man +in the world!" + +"Oh, that's going too far," he said, laughing. "I shan't mind a little +flirtation. You may have a man or two in your train to fetch and carry, +get your shawl for you, and call your carriage, and so forth; but no +serious old hand, Nell--nothing to remind you that there was a time when +you didn't know Phil Compton." His laugh died away at this point, and +for a moment his face assumed that grave look which changed its +character so much. "If you don't come to repent before then that you +ever saw that fellow's ugly face, Nell----" + +"Phil, how could I ever repent? Nobody but you should dare to say such a +thing to me!" + +"I believe that," he said. "If that old John of yours tried it on---- +Well, my pet, he is your old John. You can't change facts, even if you +do throw the poor fellow over. Now, here's a new chance for all of them, +Nell. I shouldn't wonder a bit if you had another crop of letters +bidding you look before you leap. That Rectory woman, what's her name? +that knows my family. You'll see she'll have some new story before we're +clear of her. They'll never stop blackguarding me, I know, until you're +Phil Compton yourself, my beauty. I wish that day was come. I'm afraid +to go off again and leave you, Nell. They'll be putting something into +your head, or the old lady's. Let's get it over to-morrow morning, and +come to Ireland with me; you've never been there." + +"Phil, what nonsense! mamma would go out of her senses." + +"My pet, what does it matter? She'd come back to them again as soon as +we were gone, and think what a botheration spared her! All the row of +receiving people, turning the house upside down. And here I am on the +spot. And what do you want with bridesmaids and so forth? You've got all +your things. Suppose we walk out to church to-morrow before breakfast, +Nell----" + +"Phil, you are mad, I think; and why should we do such a thing, +scandalizing everybody? But of course you don't mean it. You are excited +after seeing that man." + +"Excited about Stanny!--not such a fool; Stanny is all square, thanks +to---- But what I want is just to take you up in my arms, like this, and +run off with you, Nell. Why we should call the whole world to watch us +while we take that swing off--into space." + +"Phil!" + +"So it is, for you, Nell. You don't know a bit what's going to happen. +You don't know where I'm going to take you, and what I'm going to do +with you, you little innocent lamb in the wolf's grip. I want to eat you +up, straight off. I shall be afraid up to the last moment that you'll +escape me, Nell." + +"I did not know that you were so fond of innocence," said Elinor, half +afraid of her lover's vehemence, and trying to dispel his gravity with a +laugh. "You used to say you did not believe in the _ingénue_." + +"I believe in you," he said, with an almost fierce pressure of her arm; +then, after a pause, "No, I don't believe in women at all, Nell, only +you. They're rather worse than men, which is saying a good deal. What +would the Jew care if we were all drawn and quartered; so long as she +had all her paraphernalia about her and got everything she wanted? For +right-down selfishness commend me to a woman. A fellow may have gleams +of something better about him, like me, warning you against myself." + +"It is a droll way of warning me against yourself to want to carry me +off to-morrow." + +"It's all the same thing," he said. "I've warned you that those old hags +are right, and I'm not good enough for you, not fit to come near you, +Nell. But if the sacrifice is to be, let's get it over at once, don't +let us stand and think of it. I'm capable of jilting you," he said, +"leaving you _planté là_, all out of remorse of conscience; or else just +catching you up in my arms, like this, and carrying you off, never to be +seen more." + +"You are very alarming," said Elinor. "I don't know what you mean. You +can be off with your bargain if you please, Phil; but you had better +make up your mind at once, so that mamma may countermand her invitations, +and stop Gunter from sending the cake." + +(It was Gunter who was the man in those days. I believe people go to +Buszard now.) + +He gave her again a vehement hug, and burst into a laugh. "I might jilt +you, Nell; such a thing is on the cards. I might leave you in the lurch +at the church door; but when you talk of countermanding the cake, I +can't face that situation. Society would naturally be up in arms about +that. So you must take your chance like the other innocents. I'll eat +you up as gently as I can, and hide my tusks as long as it's possible. +Come on, Nell, don't let us sit here and get the mopes, and think of our +consciences. Come and see if that show is in the village. Life's better +than thinking, old girl." + +"Do you call the show in the village, life?" she said, half pleased to +rouse him, half sorry to be thus carried away. + +"Every show is life," said Phil, "and everywhere that people meet is +better than anywhere where you're alone. Mind you take in that axiom, +Nell. It's our rule of life, you know, among the set you're marrying +into. That's how the Jew gets on. That's how we all get on. By this time +next year you'll be well inured into it like all the rest. That's what +your Rector never taught you, I'll be bound; but you'll see the old +fellow practises it whenever he has a chance. Why, there they begin, +tootle-te-too. Come on, Nell, and don't let us lose the fun." + +He drew her along hastily, hurrying while the flute and the drum began +to perform their parts. Sound spreads far in that tranquil country, +where no railway was visible, and where the winds for the moment were +still. It was Pan's pipes that were being played, attracting a few +stragglers from the scattered houses. Within a hundred yards from the +church, at the corner of four roads, stood the Bull's Head, with a +cottage or two linked on to its long straggling front. And this was all +that did duty for a village at Windyhill. The Rectory stood back in its +own copse, surrounded by a growth of young birches and oak near the +church. The Hills dwelt intermediate between the Bull's Head and the +ecclesiastical establishment. The school and schoolmaster's house were +behind the Bull. The show was surrounded by the children of the place, +who looked on silent with ecstasy, while a burly showman piped his pipes +and beat his drum. A couple of ostlers, with their shirt-sleeves rolled +up to their shoulders, and one of them with a pail in his hand, stood +arrested in their work. And in the front of the spectators was Alick +Hudson, a sleepy-looking youth of twenty, who started and took his hands +out of his pockets at sight of Elinor. Mr. Hudson himself came walking +briskly round the corner, swinging his cane with the air of a man who +was afraid of being too late. + +"Didn't I tell you?" said Compton, pressing Elinor's arm. + +As the tootle-te-too went on, other spectators appeared--the two Miss +Hills, one putting on her hat, the other hastily buttoning her jacket as +they hurried up. "Oh, you here, Elinor! What fun! We all run as if we +were six years old. I'm going to engage the man to come round and do it +opposite Rosebank to amuse mother. She likes it as much as any of us, +though she doesn't see very well, poor dear, nor hear either. But we +must always consider that the old have not many amusements," said the +elder Miss Hill. + +"Though mother amuses herself wonderfully with her knitting," said Miss +Sarah. "There's a sofa-cover on the stocks for you, Elinor." + +It appeared to be only at this moment that the sisters became aware of +the presence of "the gentleman" by whom Elinor stood. They had been too +busy with their uncompleted toilettes to observe him at first. But now +that Miss Hill's hat was settled to her satisfaction, and the blue veil +tied over her face as she liked it to be, and Miss Sarah had at last +succeeded, after two false starts, in buttoning her jacket straight, +their attention was released for other details. They both gave a glance +over Elinor at the tall figure on the other side, and then looked at +each other with a mutual little "Oh!" and nod of recognition. Then Miss +Hill took the initiative as became her dignity. "I hope you are going to +introduce us to your companion, Elinor," she said. "Oh, Mr. Compton, how +do you do? We are delighted to make your acquaintance, I am sure. It is +charming to have an opportunity of seeing a person of so much importance +to us all, our dear Elinor's intended. I hope you know what a prize you +are getting. You might have sought the whole country over and you +wouldn't have found a girl like her. I don't know how we shall endure +your name when you carry her away." + +"Except, indeed," said Miss Sarah, "that it will be Elinor's name too." + +"So here we all are again," said the Rector, gazing down tranquilly upon +his flock, "not able to resist a little histrionic exhibition--and Mr. +Compton too, fresh from the great world. I daresay our good friend Mrs. +Basset would hand us out some chairs. No Englishman can resist Punch. +Alick, my boy, you ought to be at your work. It will not do to neglect +your lessons when you are so near your exam." + +"No Englishman, father, can resist Punch," said the lad: at which the +two ostlers and the landlord of the Bull's Head, who was standing with +his hands in his pockets in his own doorway, laughed loud. + +"Had the old fellow there," said Compton, which was the first observation +he had made. The ladies looked at him with some horror, and Alick a +little flustered, half pleased, half horrified, by this support, while +the Rector laughed, but stiffly _au bout des lèvres_. He was not +accustomed to be called an old fellow in his own parish. + +"The old fellows, as you elegantly say, Mr. Compton, have always the +worst of it in a popular assembly. Elinor, here is a chair for you, my +love. Another one please, Mrs. Basset, for I see Miss Dale coming up +this way." + +"By Jove," said Compton, under his breath. "Elinor, here's the one that +knows society. I hope she isn't such an old guy as the rest." + +"Oh, Phil, be good!" said Elinor, "or let us go away, which would be the +best." + +"Not a bit," he said. "Let's see the show. I say, old man, where are you +from last?" + +"Down from Guildford ways, guv'nor--awful bad trade; not taken a bob, +s' help me, not for three days, and bed and board to get off o' that, +me and my mate." + +"Well, here is a nice little party for you, my man," said the Rector, +"it is not often you have such an audience--nor would I encourage it, +indeed, if it were not so purely English an exhibition." + +"Master," said the showman, "worst of it is, nobody pays till we've done +the show, and then they goes away, and they've got it, don't you see, +and we can't have it back once it's in their insides, and there ain't +nothink then, neither for my mate nor me." + +"Here's for you, old fellow," said Phil. He took a sovereign from his +waistcoat pocket and chucked it with his thumbnail into the man's hand, +who looked at it with astonished delight, tossed it into the air with a +grin, a "thank'ee, gentleman!" and a call to his "mate" who immediately +began the ever-exciting, ever-amusing drama. The thrill of sensation +which ran through the little assembly at this incident was wonderful. +The children all turned from Punch to regard with large open eyes and +mouths the gentleman who had given a gold sovereign to the showman. +Alick Hudson looked at him with a grin of pleasure, a blush of envy on +his face; the Rector, with an expression of horror, slightly shaking his +head; the Miss Hills with admiration yet dismay. "Goodness, Sarah, +they'll never come now and do it for a shilling to amuse mother!" the +elder of the sisters said. + +Miss Dale came hurrying up while still the sensation lasted. "Here is a +chair for you, Mary," said her brother-in-law, "and the play is just +going to begin. I can't help shaking my head when I think of it, but +still you must hear what has just happened. Mr. Compton, let me present +you to my sister-in-law, Miss Dale. Mr. Compton has made the widow's +heart, nay, not the widow's, but the showman's heart to sing. He has +presented our friend with a----" + +"Mind you," said Phil, from behind Elinor's shoulders, "I've paid the +fellow only for two." + +At which the showman turned and winked at the Rector. To think that such +a piece of audacity could be! A dingy fellow in a velveteen coat, with a +spotted handkerchief round his neck, and a battered hat on his unkempt +locks, with Pan's pipes at his mouth and a drum tied round his +waist--winked at the Rector! Mr. Hudson fell back a step, and his very +lips were livid with the indignity. He had to support himself on the +back of the chair he had just given to Miss Dale. + +"I think we are all forgetting our different positions in this world," +he said. + +"I ain't," said the showman, "not taking no advantage through the +gentleman's noble ways. He's a lord, he is, I don't make no doubt. And +we're paid. Take the good of it, Guv'nor, and welcome; all them as is +here is welcome. My mate and I are too well paid. A gentleman like that +good gentleman, as is sweet upon a pretty young lady, and an open 'eart +a-cause of her, I just wish we could find one at every station; don't +you, Joe?" + +Joe assented, in the person of Mr. Punch, with a horrible squeak from +within the tent. + +The sensations of Elinor during this episode were peculiar and full of +mingled emotion. It is impossible to deny that she was proud of the +effect produced by her lover. The sovereign chucked into the showman's +hand was a cheap way of purchasing a little success, and yet it dazzled +Elinor, and made her eyelids droop and her cheek light up with the +glow of pleasure. Amid all the people who would search for pennies, +or perhaps painfully and not without reluctance produce a sixpence +to reward the humble artists, there was something in the careless +familiarity and indifference which tossed a gold coin at them which was +calculated to charm the youthful observer. Elinor felt the same mixture +of pleasure and envy which had moved Alick Hudson; yet it was not envy, +for was not he her own who did this thing which she would have liked to +have done herself, overwhelming the poor tramps with delight? Elinor +knew, as Alick also did, that it would never have occurred to her to do +it. She would have been glad to be kind to the poor men, to give them a +good meal, to speak to Basset at the Bull's Head in their favour that +they might be taken in for the night and made comfortable, but to open +her purse and take a real sovereign from it, a whole potential pound, +would not have come into her head. Had such a thing been done, for +instance, by the united subscriptions of the party, in case of some +peculiarly touching situation, the illness of a wife, the loss of a +child, it would have been done solemnly, the Rector calling the men up, +making a little speech to them, telling them how all the ladies and +gentlemen had united to make up this, and how they must be careful not +to spend it unworthily. Elinor thought she could see the little scene, +and the Rector improving the occasion. Whereas Phil spun the money +through the air into the man's ready hand as if it had been a joke, a +trick of agility. Elinor saw that everybody was much impressed with the +incident, and her heart went forth upon a flood of satisfaction and +content. And it was no premeditated triumph. It was so noble, so +accidental, so entirely out of his good heart! + +When he hurried her home at the end of the performance, that Mrs. +Dennistoun might not be kept waiting, the previous events of the +afternoon, and all that happened in the copse and garden, had faded out +of Elinor's mind. She forgot Stanfield and the 6th and everything about +it. Her embarrassment and trouble were gone. She went in gayly and told +her mother all about this wonderful incident. "The Rector was trying for +a sixpence. But, mamma, Phil must not be so ready with his sovereigns, +must he? We shall have nothing to live upon if he goes chucking +sovereigns at every Punch and Judy he may meet." + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + + +Phil Compton went off next morning by an early train, having in the +meanwhile improved the impression of him left upon the family in +general, and specially upon Mrs. Dennistoun, to whom he had talked with +enthusiasm about Elinor, expressed indeed in terms unusual to her ears, +but perhaps only more piquant on that account, which greatly conciliated +the mother. "Don't you think," said the Honourable Phil, "because I +speak a little free and am not one for tall talk, that I don't know +what she is. I've got no poetry in me, but for the freest goer and the +highest spirit, without a bit of vice in her, there never was one like +Nell. The girls of my set, they're not worthy to tie her shoes--thing I +most regret is taking her among a lot that are not half good enough for +her. But you can't help your relations, can you? and you have to stick +to them for dozens of reasons. There's the Jew, when you know her she's +not such a bad sort--not generous, as you may see from what she's given +Nell, the old screw: but yet in her own way she stands by a fellow, and +we'll need it, not having just the Bank of England behind us. Her +husband, old Prestwich, isn't bad for a man that has made his own money, +and they've got a jolly house, always something going on." + +"But I hope," said Mrs. Dennistoun, "that as soon as these autumn visits +are over you will have a house of your own." + +"Oh, that!" said Compton, with a wave of his hand, which left it in some +doubt whether he was simply throwing off the suggestion, or treating it +as a foregone conclusion of which there could be no doubt. "Nell," he +went on, "gets on with the Jew like a house on fire--you see they don't +clash. Nell ain't one of the mannish sort, and she doesn't flirt--at +least not as far as I've seen----" + +"I should hope not, indeed," said Mrs. Dennistoun. + +"Oh, I'm not one of your curmudgeons. Where's the harm? But she don't, +and there's an end of it. She keeps herself to herself, and lets the Jew +go ahead, and think she's the attraction. And she'll please the old lord +down to the ground. For he's an old-fashioned old coon, and likes what +he calls _tenue_, don't you know: but the end is, there ain't one of +them that can hold a candle to Nell. And I should not wonder a bit if +she made a change in the lot of us. Conversion of a family by the +influence of a pious wife, don't you know. Sort of thing that they make +tracts out of. Capital thing, it would be," said Phil, philosophically, +"for some of us have been going a pace----" + +"Mr. Compton," said Mrs. Dennistoun, solemnly, "I don't understand very +well what you mean by these phrases. They may be much more innocent +than they seem to a country lady's ears. But I implore you to keep my +Elinor clear of anything that you call going the pace. It must mean +something very unlike her, whatever it means. She has been used to a +very quiet, orderly life. Don't hurry her off into a whirl of society, +or among noisy gay people. Indeed I can assure you that the more you +have her to herself the more you will be happy in her. She is the +brightest companion, the most entertaining---- Oh, Mr. Compton!" + +"I think it's about time, now, mater, to call me Phil." + +She smiled, with the tears in her eyes, and held out her hand. "Philip, +then," she said, "to make a little difference. Now remember what I say. +It is only in the sacredness of her home that you will know what is in +Elinor. One is never dull with her. She has her own opinions--her bright +way of looking at things--as you know. It is, perhaps, a strange thing +for a mother to say, but she will amuse you, Philip; she is such +company. You will never be dull with Elinor: she has so much in her, +which will come out in society, it is true, but never so brightly as +between you two alone." + +This did not seem to have quite the effect upon the almost-bridegroom +which the mother intended. "Perhaps" (she said to herself), "he was a +little affected by the thought" (which she kept so completely out of the +conversation) "of the loss she herself was about to undergo." At all +events, his face was not so bright as in the vision of that sweet +prospect held before him it ought to have been. + +"The fact is," he said, "she knows a great deal more than I do, or ever +will. It's she that will be the one to look blue when she finds herself +alone with a fool of a follow that doesn't know a book from a brick. +That's the thing I'm most afraid---- As for society, she can have her +pick of that," he added, brightening up, "I'll not bind her down." + +"You may be sure she'll prefer you to all the world." + +He shrugged his shoulders a little. + +"They say it's always a leap in the dark," he said, "for how's she to +know the sort of fellow I am with what she sees of me here? But I +promise you I'll do my best to take her in, and keep her in that +delusion, for her good--making believe to be all that's virtuous: and +perhaps not a bad way--some of it may stick. Come, mater, don't look so +horrified. I'm not of the Cousin John sort, but there may be something +decent in me after all." + +"I am sure," said Mrs. Dennistoun, "that you will try to make her happy, +Philip." She was crying by this time, which was a thing very odious to +Phil. He took her by both hands and gave her a hearty kiss, which was a +thing for which she was not at all prepared. + +"I'll do by her----" he said, with a murmur which sounded like an oath, +"as well as I know how." + +Perhaps this was not the very greatest comfort to her mother, but it was +the best she was at all likely to get from a man so entirely different +in all ways from her own species. She had her cry out quietly while he +went off to get his bag. The pony carriage was at the door in which +Elinor was to drive him to the station, and a minute after Mrs. +Dennistoun heard his voice in the hall calling to his Nell, his old +girl, in terms which went against all the mother's prejudices of soft +and reverent speech. To have her carefully-trained child, her Elinor, +whom every one had praised and honoured, her maiden-princess so high +apart from all such familiarity, addressed so, gave the old-fashioned +lady a pang. It meant nothing but love and kindness, she said to +herself. He reverenced Elinor as much as it was in such a man to do. He +meant with all his heart to do by her as well as he knew how. It was as +fantastic to object to his natural language as it would be to object to +a Frenchman speaking French. That was his tongue, the only utterance he +knew---- She dried her eyes and went out to the door to see them start. +The sun was blazing over all the brilliant autumnal colours Of the +garden, though it was still full and brilliant summer in the September +morning, and only the asters and dahlias replacing the roses betrayed +the turn of the season. And nothing could be more bright than the face +of Elinor as she sat in the homely little carriage, with the reins +gathered up in her hand. He was going away, indeed, but in a week he was +coming back. Philip, as Mrs. Dennistoun now called him with dignity, yet +a little beginning of affection, packed up his long limbs as well as he +could in the small space. "I believe she'll spill us on the road," he +said, "or bring back the shandrydan with a hole in it." + +"There is too much of you, Phil," said Elinor, giving the staid pony a +quiet touch. + +"I should like some of those fellows to see me," he said, "joggled off +to market like a basket of eggs; but don't smash me, Nell, on the way." + +Mrs. Dennistoun stood on the steps looking after them, or rather, +listening after them, for they had soon turned the corner of the house +and were gone. She heard them jogging over the stony road, and the sound +of their voices in the air for a long time after they were out of +sight--the air was so still and so close, nothing in it to break the +sound. The atmosphere was all sunshine, not a cloud upon the sky, +scarcely a breath stirring over those hill-tops, which had almost the +effect of a mountainous landscape, being the highest ground in all the +visible space. Along the other side of the combe, where the road became +visible, there were gleams of heather brilliant under the dark foliage +of the firs. She sat down in the porch and waited to see them pass; +there was a sorrowful background to her thoughts, but for the moment she +was not actually sad, if perhaps a little forlorn. They had gone away +leaving her alone, but yet in an hour or two Elinor was coming back. +Time enough to think of the final parting. Next week Elinor would go and +would not return. Mrs. Dennistoun held on by both hands to to-day and +would not think of that future, near as it was. She waited in a hush of +feeling, so near to great commotions of the heart and mind, but holding +them at a distance in a suspense of all thought, till the shandrydan +appeared in the opening of the road. They were thinking of her, for she +saw a gleam of white, the waving of a handkerchief, as the little +carriage trundled along the road, and for a moment the tears again +blinded her eyes. But Mrs. Dennistoun was very reasonable. She got +up from the cottage porch after the pony carriage had passed in the +distance, with that determination to make the best of it, which is the +inspiration of so many women's lives. + +And what a drive the others had through the sunshine--or at least +Elinor! You can never tell by what shadows a man's thoughts may be +haunted, who is a man of the world, and has had many other things to +occupy him besides this vision of love. But the girl had no shadows. The +parting which was before her was not near enough to harm as yet, and +she was still able to think, in her ignorance of the world, that even +parting was much more in appearance than in reality, and that she would +always be running home, always going upon long visits brightening +everything, instead of saddening. But even had she been going to the end +of the world with her husband next week, Elinor would still have been +happy to-day. The sunshine itself was enough to go to any one's head, +and the pony stepped out so that Phil had the grace to be ashamed of his +reflections upon "the old girl." They got to the station too early for +the train, and had half an hour's stroll together, with all the railway +porters looking on admiring. They all knew Miss Dennistoun from her +childhood, and they were interested in her "young man." + +"And to think you will be in Ireland to-morrow," said Elinor, "over the +sea, with the Channel between us--in another island!" + +"I don't see much that's wonderful in that," said Phil, "the boat goes +every day." + +"Oh, there's nothing wonderful about the boat. Hundreds might go, and I +shouldn't mind, but you---- It's strange to think of your going off into +a world I don't know at all--and then coming back." + +"To take you off to that world you don't know, Nell; and then the time +will come when you will know it as well as I do, and more, too; and be +able to set me down in my proper place." + +"What is your proper place? Your place will always be the same. Phil, +you've been so good to me this time; you've made everybody like you so. +Mamma--that's the best of all. She was a little--I can't say jealous, +that is not the right word, but uncertain and frightened--which just +means that she did not know you, Phil; now you've condescended to let +yourself be known." + +"Have I, Nell? I've had more luck than meaning if that's so." + +"'Tis that you've condescended to let yourself be known. A man has such +odious pride. He likes to show himself all on the wrong side, to brave +people's opinions--as if it was better to be liked for the badness in +you than for the goodness in you!" + +"What's the goodness in me, Nell? I'd like to know, and then I can have +it ready in other emergencies and serve it out as it is wanted." + +"Oh, Phil! the goodness in you is--yourself. You can't help being nice +when you throw off those society airs. When you are talking with +Mariamne and all that set of people----" + +"Why can't you call her Jew? life is too short to say all those +syllables." + +"I don't like you to call her Jew. It's unkind. I don't think she +deserves it. It's a sort of an insult." + +"Shut up, Nell. It's her name and that's enough. Mar-ry-am-ne! It's a +beast of a name to begin with. And do you think any of us has got time +to say as much as that for one woman? Oh, I suppose I'm fond of her--as +men are of their sisters. She is not a bad sort--mean as her name, and +never fond of parting with her money--but stands by a fellow in a kind +of a way all the same." + +"I'll never call her Jew," said Elinor; "and, Phil, all this wonderful +amount of things you have to do is simply--nothing. What do you ever +do? It is the people who do things that have time to spare. I know +one----" + +"Don't come down on me, Nell, again with that eternal Cousin John." + +"Phil! I never think of him till you put him into my head. I was +thinking of a gentleman who writes----" + +"Rubbish, Nell! What have I to do with men that write, or you either? We +are none of us of that sort. I do what my set do, and more--for there +was this director business; and I should never mind a bit of work that +was well paid, like attending Board meetings and so forth, or signing my +name to papers." + +"What, without reading them, Phil?" + +"Don't come over a fellow with your cleverness, Nell! I am not a reader; +but I should take good care I knew what was in the papers before I +signed them, I can tell you. Eh! you'd like me to slave, to get you +luxuries, you little exacting Nell." + +"Yes, Phil," she said, "I'd like to think you were working for our +living. I should indeed. It seems somehow so much finer--so real a life. +And I should work at home." + +"A great deal you would work," he said, laughing, "with those scraps +of fingers! Let's hear what you would do--bits of little pictures, or +impossible things in pincushions, or so forth--and walk out in your most +becoming bonnet to force them down some poor shop-keeper's throat?" + +"Phil!" she said, "how contemptuous you are of my efforts. But I never +thought of either sketches or pincushions. I should work at home to keep +the house nice--to look after the servants, and guide the cook, and see +that you had nice dinners." + +"And warm my slippers by the parlour fire," said Phil. "That's too +domestic, Nell, for you and me." + +"But we are going to be very domestic, Phil." + +"Are we? Not if I knows it; yawn our heads off, and get to hate one +another. Not for me, Nell. You'll find yourself up to the eyes in +engagements before you know where you are. No, no, old girl, you may do +a deal with me, but you don't make a domestic man of Phil Compton. Time +enough for that when we've had our fling." + +"I don't want any fling, Phil," she said, clinging a little closer to +his arm. + +"But I do, my pet, in the person of Benedick the married man. Don't you +think I want to show all the fellows what a stunning little wife I've +got? and all the women I used to flirt with----" + +"Did you use to flirt much with them, Phil?" + +"You didn't think I flirted with the men, did you? like you did," said +Phil, who was not particular about his grammar. "I want to show you off +a bit. Nell. When we go down to the governor's, there you can be as +domestic as you like. That's the line to take with him, and pays too if +you do it well." + +"Oh, don't talk as if you were always calculating for your advantage," +she said, "for you are not, Phil. You are not a prudent person, but a +horrid, extravagant spendthrift; if you go on chucking sovereigns about +as you did yesterday." + +"Well," he said, laughing, "wasn't it well spent? Didn't I make your +Rector open his old eyes, and stop the mouths of the old maids? I don't +throw away sovereigns in a general way, Nell, only when there's a +purpose in it. But I think I did them all finely that time--had them on +toast, eh?" + +"You made an impression, if that is what you mean; but I confess I +thought you did it out of kindness, Phil." + +"To the Punch and Judy? catch me! Sovereigns ain't plentiful enough for +that. You little exacting thing, ain't you pleased, when I did it to +please you, and get you credit among your friends?" + +"It was very kind of you, I'm sure, Phil," she said, very soberly, "but +I should so much rather you had not thought of that. A shilling would +have done just as well and they would have got a bed at the Bull's +Head, and been quite kindly treated. Is this your train coming? It's a +little too soon, I think." + +"Thanks for the compliment, Nell. It is really late," he said, looking +at his watch, "but the time flies, don't it, pet, when you and I are +together? Here, you fellow, put my bag in a smoking carriage. And now, +you darling, we've got to part; only for a little time, Nell." + +"Only for a week," she said, with a smile and a tear. + +"Not so long--a rush along the rail, a blow on the sea, and then back +again; I shall only be a day over there, and then--bless you, Nell. +Good-bye--take care of yourself, my little duck: take care of yourself +for me." + +"Good-bye," said Elinor, with a little quiver of her lip. A parting at a +roadside station is a very abrupt affair. The train stops, the passenger +is shoved in, there is a clanging of the doors, and in a moment it is +gone. She had scarcely realized that the hour had come before he was +whirled off from her, and the swinging line of carriages disappeared +round the next curve. She stood looking vaguely after it till the old +porter came up, who had known her ever since she was a child. + +"Beg your pardon, miss, but the pony is a-waiting," he said. And then he +uttered his sympathy in the form of a question:--"Coming back very soon, +miss, ain't the gentleman?" he said. + +"Oh, yes; very soon," she said, rousing herself up. + +"And if I may make bold to say it, miss," said the porter, "an +open-hearted gentleman as ever I see. There's many as gives us a +threepenny for more than I've done for 'im. And look at what he's give +me," he said, showing the half-crown in his hand. + +Did he do that from calculation to please her, ungracious girl as she +was, who was so hard to please? But he never could have known that +she would see it. She walked through the little station to the pony +carriage, feeling that all the eyes of the people about were upon her. +They were all sympathetic, all equally aware that she had just parted +with her lover: all ready to cheer her, if she had given them an +opportunity, by reminding her of his early return. The old porter +followed her out, and assisted at her ascent into the pony carriage. He +said, solemnly, "And an 'andsome gentleman, miss, as ever I see," as he +fastened the apron over her feet. She gave him a friendly nod as she +drove away. + +How dreadful it is to be so sensitive, to receive a wound so easily! +Elinor was vexed more than she could say by her lover's denial of the +reckless generosity with which she had credited him. To think that he +had done it in order to produce the effect which had given her so +distinct a sensation of pleasure changed that effect into absolute +pain. And yet in the fantastic susceptibility of her nature, there was +something in old Judkin's half-crown which soothed her again. A shilling +would have been generous, Elinor said to herself, with a feminine +appreciation of the difference of small things as well as great, whereas +half-a-crown was lavish--ergo, he gave the sovereign also out of natural +prodigality, as she had hoped, not out of calculation as he said. She +drove soberly home, thinking over all these things in a mood very +different from that triumphant happiness with which she started from +the cottage with Phil by her side. The sunshine was still as bright, +but it had taken an air of routine and commonplace to Elinor. It had +come to be only the common day, not the glory and freshness of the +morning. She felt herself, as she had never done before, on the edge of +a world unknown, where everything would be new to her, where--it was +possible--that which awaited her might not be unmixed happiness, might +even be the reverse. It is seldom that a girl on the eve of marriage +either thinks this or acknowledges to herself that she thinks it. Elinor +did so involuntarily, without thinking upon her thought. Perhaps it +would not be unmixed happiness. Strange clouds seemed to hang upon the +horizon, ready to roll up in tragic darkness and gloom. Oh, no, not +tragic, only commonplace, she said to herself; opaqueness, not +blackness. But yet it was ominous and lowering, that distant sky. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + + +The days of the last week hurried along like the grains of sand out of +an hour-glass when they are nearly gone. It is true that almost +everything was done--a few little bits of stitching, a few things still +to be "got up" alone remaining, a handkerchief to mark with Elinor's +name, a bit of lace to arrange, just enough to keep up a possibility +of something to do for Mrs. Dennistoun in the blank of all other +possibilities--for to interest herself or to occupy herself about +anything that should be wanted beyond that awful limit of the +wedding-day was of course out of the question. Life seemed to stop there +for the mother, as it was virtually to begin for the child; though +indeed to Elinor also, notwithstanding her love, it was visible more in +the light of a point at which all the known and certain ended, and where +the unknown and almost inconceivable began. The curious thing was that +this barrier which was placed across life for them both, got somehow +between them in those last days which should have been the most tender +climax of their intercourse. They had a thousand things to say to each +other, but they said very little. In the evening after dinner, whether +they went out into the garden together to watch the setting of the young +moon, or whether they sat together in that room which had witnessed all +Elinor's commencements of life, free to talk as no one else in the world +could ever talk to either of them, they said very little to each other, +and what they said was of the most commonplace kind. "It is a lovely +night; how clear one can see the road on the other side of the combe!" +"And what a bright star that is close to the moon! I wish I knew a +little more about the stars." "They are just as beautiful," Mrs. +Dennistoun would say, "as if you knew everything about them, Elinor." +"Are you cold, mamma? I am sure I can see you shiver. Shall I run and +get you a shawl?" "It is a little chilly: but perhaps it will be as well +to go in now," the mother said. And then indoors: "Do you think you will +like this lace made up as a jabot, Elinor?" "You are giving me all your +pretty things, though you know you understand lace much better than I +do." "Oh, that doesn't matter," Mrs. Dennistoun said hurriedly; "that is +a taste which comes with time. You will like it as well as I do when you +are as old as I am." "You are not so dreadfully old, mamma." "No, that's +the worst of it," Mrs. Dennistoun would say, and then break out into a +laugh. "Look at the shadow that handkerchief makes--how fantastic it +is!" she cried. She neither cared for the moon, nor for the quaintness +of the shadows, nor for the lace which she was pulling into dainty folds +to show its delicate pattern--for none of all these things, but for her +only child, who was going from her, and to whom she had a hundred, and +yet a hundred, things to say: but none of them ever came from her lips. + +"Mary Dale has not seen your things, Elinor: she asked if she might come +to-morrow." + +"I think we might have had to-morrow to ourselves, mamma--the last day +all by ourselves before those people begin to arrive." + +"Yes, I think so too; but it is difficult to say no, and as she was not +here when the others came---- She is the greatest critic in the parish. +She will have so much to say." + +"I daresay it may be fun," said Elinor, brightening up a little, "and +of course anyhow Alice must have come to talk about her dress. I am +tired of those bride's-maids' dresses; they are really of so little +consequence." Elinor was not vain, to speak of, but she thought it +improbable that when she was there any one would look much at the +bride's-maids' dresses. For one thing, to be sure, the bride is always +the central figure, and there were but two bride's-maids, which +diminished the interest; and then--well, it had to be allowed at the end +of all, that, though her closest friends, neither Alice Hudson nor Mary +Tatham were, to look at, very interesting girls. + +"They are of great consequence to them," said Mrs. Dennistoun, with the +faintest smile. + +"I didn't mean that, of course," said Elinor, with a blush; "only I +never should have worried about my own dress, which after all is the +most important, as Alice does about hers." + +"Which nobody will look at," Mrs. Dennistoun said. + +"I did not say that: but to tell the truth, it is a pity for the girls +that the men will not quite be, just of their world, you know. Oh, +mamma, you know it is not that I think anything of that, but I am sorry +for Alice and Mary. Mr. Bolsover and the other gentlemen will not take +that trouble which country neighbours, or--or John's friends from the +Temple might have done." + +"Why do you speak of John's friends from the Temple, Elinor?" + +"Mamma! for no reason at all. Why should I? They were the only other men +I could think of." + +"Elinor, did John ever give you any reason to think----" + +"Mamma," cried Elinor again, with double vehemence, her countenance all +ablaze, "of course he never did! how could you think such foolish +things?" + +"Well, my dear," said her mother, "I am very glad he did not; it will +prevent any embarrassment between him and you--for I must always +believe----" + +"Don't, please, oh, don't! it would make me miserable; it would take all +my happiness away." + +Mrs. Dennistoun said nothing, but she sighed--a very small, infinitesimal +sigh--and there was a moment's silence, during which perhaps that sigh +pervaded the atmosphere with a sort of breath of what might have been. +After a moment she spoke again: + +"I hope you have not packed up your ornaments yet, Elinor. You must +leave them to the very last, for Mary would like to see that beautiful +necklace. What do you think you shall wear on the day?" + +"Nothing," said Elinor, promptly. She was about to add, "I have nothing +good enough," but paused in time. + +"Not my little star? It would look very well, my darling, to fix your +veil on. The diamonds are very good, though perhaps a little +old-fashioned; you might get them reset. But--your father gave it me +like that." + +"I would not change it a bit, mamma, for anything in the world." + +"Thanks, my dearest. I thought that was how you would feel about it. It +is not very big, of course, but it really is very good." + +"Then I will wear it, mamma, if it will please you, but nothing else." + +"It would please me: it would be like having something from your father. +I think we had less idea of ornaments in my day. I cannot tell you how +proud I was of my diamond star. I should like to put it in for you +myself, Elinor." + +"Oh, mamma!" This was the nearest point they had come to that outburst +of two full hearts which both of them would have called breaking down. +Mrs. Dennistoun saw it and was frightened. She thought it would be +betraying to Elinor what she wished her never to know, the unspeakable +desolation to which she was looking forward when her child was taken +from her. Elinor's exclamation, too, was a protest against the imminent +breaking down. They both came back with a hurry, with a panting breath, +to safer ground. + +"Yes, that's what I regret," she said. "Mr. Bolsover and Harry Compton +will laugh a little at the Rectory. They will not be so--nice as young +men of their own kind." + +"The Rectory people are just as well born as any of us, Elinor." + +"Oh, precisely, mamma: I know that; but we too---- It is what they call +a different _monde_. I don't think it is half so nice a _monde_," said +the girl, feeling that she had gone further than she intended to do; +"but you know, mamma----" + +"I know, Elinor: but I scarcely expected from you----" + +"Oh," cried Elinor again, in exasperation, "if you think that I share +that feeling! I think it odious, I think their _monde_ is vulgar, nasty, +miserable! I think----" + +"Don't go too far the other way, Elinor. Your husband will be of it, and +you must learn to like it. You think, perhaps, all that is new to me?" + +"No," said Elinor, her bright eyes, all the brighter for tears, falling +before her mother's look. "I know, of course, that you have seen--all +kinds----" + +But she faltered a little, for she did not believe that her mother was +acquainted with Phil's circle and their wonderful ways. + +"They will be civil enough," she went on, hurriedly, "and as everybody +chaffs so much nowadays they will, perhaps, never be found out. But I +don't like it for my friends." + +"They will chaff me also, no doubt," Mrs. Dennistoun said. + +"Oh, _you_, mamma! they are not such fools as that," cried poor Elinor; +but in her own mind she did not feel confident that there was any such +limitation to their folly. Mrs. Dennistoun laughed a little to herself, +which was, perhaps, more alarming than that other moment when she was +almost ready to cry. + +"You had better wear Lord St. Serf's ring," she said, after a moment, +with a tone of faint derision which Elinor knew. + +"You might as well tell me," cried the bride, "to wear Lady Mariamne's +revolving dishes. No, I will wear nothing, nothing but your star." + +"You have got nothing half so nice," said the mother. Oh yes, it was a +little revenge upon those people who were taking her daughter from her, +and who thought themselves at liberty to jeer at all her friends: but as +was perhaps inevitable it touched Elinor a little too. She restrained +herself from some retort with a sense of extreme and almost indignant +self-control: though what retort Elinor could have made I cannot tell. +It was much "nicer" than anything else she had. None of Phil Compton's +great friends, who were not of the same _monde_ as the people at +Windyhill, had offered his bride anything to compare with the diamonds +which her father had given to her mother before she was born. And Elinor +was quite aware of the truth of what her mother said. But she would have +liked to make a retort--to say something smart and piquant and witty in +return. + +And thus the evening was lost, the evening in which there was so much to +say, one of the three only, no more, that were left. + +Miss Dale came next day to see "the things," and was very amiable: but +the only thing in this visit which affected Elinor's mind was a curious +little unexpected assault this lady made upon her when she was going +away. Elinor had gone out with her to the porch, according to the +courteous usage of the house. But when they had reached that shady +place, from which the green combe and the blue distance were visible, +stretching far into the soft autumnal mists of the evening, Mary Dale +turned upon her and asked her suddenly, "What night was it that Mr. +Compton came here?" + +Elinor was much startled, but she did not lose her self-possession. All +the trouble about that date had disappeared out of her mind in the +stress and urgency of other things. She cast back her mind with an +effort and asked herself what the conflict and uncertainty of which she +was dimly conscious, had been? It came back to her dimly without any of +the pain that had been in it. "It was on the sixth," she said quietly, +without excitement. She could scarcely recall to her mind what it was +that had moved her so much in respect to this date only a little time +ago. + +"Oh, you must be mistaken, Elinor, I saw him coming up from the station. +It was later than that. It was, if I were to give my life for it, +Thursday night." + +This was four or five nights before and a haze of uncertainty had +fallen on all things so remote. But Elinor cast her eyes upon the +calendar in the hall and calm possessed her breast. "It was the sixth," +she said with composed tones, as certain as of anything she had ever +known in the course of her life. + +"Well, I suppose you must know," said Mary Dale. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + + +"Look at that, Elinor," said Mrs. Dennistoun, next day, when she had +read, twice over, a letter, large and emblazoned with a very big +monogram, which Elinor, well perceiving from whom it came, had furtively +watched the effect of from behind an exceeding small letter of her own. +Phil was not remarkable as a correspondent: his style was that of the +primitive mind which hopes its correspondent is well, "as this leaves +me." He had never much more to say. + +"From Mariamne, mamma?" + +"She takes great pains to make us certain of that fact at least," Mrs. +Dennistoun said; which indeed was very true, for the name of the writer +was sprawled in gilt letters half over the sheet. And this was how it +ran:-- + + +"DEAR MRS. DENNISTOUN,-- + +"I have been thinking what a great pity it would be to bore you with me, +and my maid, and all my belongings. I am so silly that I can never be +happy without dragging a lot of things about with me--dogs, and people, +and so forth. Going to town in September is dreadful, but it is rather +_chic_ to do a thing that is quite out of the way, and one may perhaps +pick up a little fun in the evening. So if you don't mind, instead of +inflicting Fifine and Bijou and Leocadie, not to mention some people +that might be with me, upon you, and putting your house all out +of order, as these odious little dogs do when people are not used +to them--I will come down by the train, which I hope arrives quite +punctually, in time to see poor Phil turned off. I am sure you will +be so kind as to send a carriage for me to the railway. We shall be +probably a party of four, and I hear from Phil you are so hospitable and +kind that I need not hesitate to bring my friends to breakfast after +it's all over. I hope Phil will go through it like a man, and I wouldn't +for worlds deprive him of the support of his family. Love to Nell. I am, + +"Yours truly, +"MARIAMNE PRESTWICH." + + +"The first name very big and the second very small," said Mrs. +Dennistoun, as she received the letter back. + +"I am sure we are much obliged to her for not coming, mamma!" + +"Perhaps--but not for this announcement of her not coming. I don't wish +to say anything against your new relations, Elinor----" + +"You need not put any restraint upon yourself in consideration of my +feelings," said Elinor, with a flush of annoyance. + +And this made Mrs. Dennistoun pause. They ate their breakfast, which was +a very light meal, in silence. It was the day before the wedding. The +rooms down-stairs had been carefully prepared for Phil's sister. Though +Mrs. Dennistoun was too proud to say anything about it, she had taken +great pains to make these pretty rooms as much like a fine lady's +chamber as had been possible. She had put up new curtains, and a Persian +carpet, and looked out of her stores all the pretty things she could +find to decorate the two rooms of the little apartment. She had gone in +on the way down-stairs to take a final survey, and it seemed to her that +they were very pretty. No picture could have been more beautiful than +the view from the long low lattice window, in which, as in a frame, was +set the foreground of the copse with its glimpses of ruddy heather and +the long sweep of the heights beyond, which stretched away into the +infinite. That at least could not be surpassed anywhere; and the Persian +carpet was like moss under foot, and the chairs luxurious--and there was +a collection of old china in some open shelves which would have made the +mouth of an amateur water. Well! it was Lady Mariamne's own loss if she +preferred the chance of picking up a little fun in the evening, to +spending the night decorously in that pretty apartment, and making +further acquaintance with her new sister. It was entirely, Mrs. +Dennistoun said to herself, a matter for her own choice. But she was +much affronted all the same. + +"It will be very inconvenient indeed sending a carriage for her, Elinor. +Except the carriage that is to take you to church there is none good +enough for this fine lady. I had concluded she would go in your uncle +Tatham's carriage. It may be very fine to have a Lady Mariamne in one's +party, but it is a great nuisance to have to change all one's +arrangements at the last moment." + +"If you were to send the wagonette from the Bull's Head, as rough as +possible, with two of the farm horses, she would think it _genre_, if +not _chic_----" + +"I cannot put up with all this nonsense!" cried Mrs. Dennistoun, with a +flush on her cheek. "You are just as bad as they are, Elinor, to suggest +such a thing! I have held my own place in society wherever I have been, +and I don't choose to be condescended to or laughed at, in fact, by any +visitor in the world!" + +"Mamma! do you think any one would ever compare you with Mariamne--the +Jew?" + +"Don't exasperate me with those abominable nicknames. They will give you +one next. She is an exceedingly ill-bred and ill-mannered woman. Picking +up a little fun in the evening! What does she mean by picking up a +little fun----" + +"They will perhaps go to the theatre--a number of them; and as nobody is +in town they will laugh very much at the kind of people, and perhaps the +kind of play--and it will be a great joke ever after among themselves--for +of course there will be a number of them together," said Elinor, +disclosing her acquaintance with the habits of her new family with +downcast eyes. + +"How can well-born people be so vulgar and ill-bred?" cried Mrs. +Dennistoun. "I must say for Philip that though he is careless and not +nearly so particular as I should like, still he is not like that. He has +something of the politeness of the heart." + +Elinor did not raise her downcast eyes. Phil had been on his very good +behaviour on the occasion of his last hurried visit, but she did not +feel that she could answer even for Phil. "I am very glad anyhow, that +she is not coming, mamma: at least we shall have the last night and the +last morning to ourselves." + +Mrs. Dennistoun shook her head. "The Tathams will be here," she said; +"and everybody, to dinner--all the party. We must go now and see how we +can enlarge the table. To-night's party will be the largest we have +ever had in the cottage." She sighed a little and paused, restraining +herself. "We shall have no quiet evening--nor morning either--again; it +will be a bustle and a rush. You and I will never have any more quiet +evenings, Elinor: for when you come back it will be another thing." + +"Oh, mother!" cried Elinor, throwing herself into her mother's arms: and +for a moment they stood closely clasped, feeling as if their hearts +would burst, yet very well aware, too, underneath, that any number of +quiet evenings would be as the last, when, with hearts full of a +thousand things to say to each other, they said almost nothing--which +in some respects was worse than having no quiet evenings evermore. + +In the afternoon Phil arrived, having returned from Ireland that +morning, and paused only to refresh himself in the chambers which he +still retained in town. He had met all his hunting friends during +the three days he had been away; and though he retained a gallant +appearance, and looked, as Alice Hudson thought, "very aristocratic," +Mrs. Dennistoun caught with anxiety a worn-out look--the look of +excitement, of nights without sleep, much smoke, and, perhaps, much +wine, in his eyes. What a woman feels who has to hand over her spotless +child, the most dear and pure thing upon earth, to a man fresh from +those indulgences and dissipations which never seem harmless, and always +are repellent to a woman, is not to be described. Fortunately the bride +herself, in invincible ignorance and unconsciousness, seldom feels in +that way. To Elinor her lover looked tired about the eyes, which was +very well explained by his night journey, and by the agitation of the +moment. And, indeed, she did not see very much of Phil, who had his +friends with him--his aide-de-camp, Bolsover, and his brother Harry. +These three gentlemen carried an atmosphere of smoke and other scents +with them into the lavender of the Rectory, which was too amazing in +that hemisphere for words, and talked their own talk in the midst +of the fringe of rustics who were their hosts, with a calm which was +extraordinary, breaking into the midst of the Rector's long-winded, +amiable sentences, and talking to each other over Mrs. Hudson's head. +"I say, Dick, don't you remember?" "By Jove, Phil, you are too bad!" +sounded, with many other such expressions and reminders, over the +Rectory party, strictly silent round their own table, trying to make a +courteous remark now and then, but confounded, in their simple country +good manners, by the fine gentlemen. And then there was the dinner-party +at the cottage in the evening, to which Mr. and Mrs. Hudson were invited. +Such a dinner-party! Old Mr. Tatham, who was a country gentleman from +Dorsetshire, with his nice daughter, Mary Tatham, a quiet country young +lady, accustomed, when she went into the world at all, to the serious +young men of the Temple, and John's much-occupied friends, who had their +own asides about cases, and what So-and-So had said in court, but were +much too well-bred before ladies to fall into "shop;" and Mr. and Mrs. +Hudson, who were such as we know them; and the bride's mother, a little +anxious, but always debonair; and Elinor herself, in all the haze and +sweet confusion of the great era which approached so closely. The three +men made the strangest addition that can be conceived to the quiet +guests; but things went better under the discipline of the dinner, +especially as Sir John Huntingtower, who was a Master of the hounds +and an old friend of the Dennistouns, was of the party, and Lady +Huntingtower, who was an impressive person, and knew the world. This +lady was very warm in her congratulations to Mrs. Dennistoun after +dinner on the absence of Lady Mariamne. "I think you are the luckiest +woman that ever was to have got clear of that dreadful creature," she +said. "Oh, there is nothing wrong about her that I know. She goes +everywhere with her dogs and her _cavaliers servantes_. There's safety +in numbers, my dear. She has always two of them at least hanging about +her to fetch and carry, and she thinks a great deal more of her dogs; +but I can't think what you could have done with her here." + +"And what will my Elinor do in such a sphere?" the troubled mother +permitted herself to say. + +"Oh, if that were all," said Lady Huntingtower, lifting up her fat +hands--she was one of those who had protested against the marriage, but +now that it had come to this point, and could not be broken off, the +judicious woman thought it right to make the best of it--"Elinor need +not be any the worse," she said. "Thank heaven, you are not obliged to +be mixed up with your husband's sister. Elinor must take a line of her +own. You should come to town yourself her first season, and help her on. +You used to know plenty of people." + +"But they say," said Mrs. Dennistoun, "that it is so much better to +leave a young couple to themselves, and that a mother is always in the +way." + +"If I were you I would not pay the least attention to what they say. If +you hold back too much they will say, 'There was her own mother, knowing +numbers of nice people, that never took the trouble to lend her a +hand.'" + +"I hope," said Mrs. Dennistoun, turning round immediately to this other +aspect of affairs, "that it never will be necessary for the world to +interest itself at all in my child's affairs." + +"Well, of course, that is the best," Lady Huntingtower allowed, "if she +just goes softly for a year or two till she feels her way." + +"But then she is so young, and so little accustomed to act for herself," +said the mother, with another change of flank. + +"Oh, Elinor has a great deal of spirit. She must just make a stand +against the Compton set and take her own line." + +Mrs. Hudson and Alice and Miss Tatham were at the other end of the room +exchanging a few criticisms under their breath, and disposed to think +that they were neglected by their hostess for the greater personage with +whom she was in such close conversation. And Lady Mariamne's defection +was a great disappointment to them all. "I should like to have seen a +fine lady quite close," said Mary (it was not, I think, usual to speak +of "smart" people in those days), "one there could be no doubt about, a +little fast and all that. I have seen them in town at a distance, but +all the people we know are sure country people." + +"My dear," said Mrs. Hudson, primly, "I don't like to hear you talk of +any other kind. An English lady, I hope, whatever is her rank, can only +be of one kind." + +"Oh, mamma, you know very well Lady Mariamne is as different from Lady +Huntingtower as----" + +"Don't mention names, my dear; it is not well-bred. The one is young, +and naturally fond of gayety; the other--well, is not quite so young, +and stout, and all that." + +"Oh, that is all very well," said Alice; "but Aunt Mary says----" + +Miss Dale was coming in the evening, and the Miss Hills, and the curate, +and the doctor, and various other people, who could not be asked to +dinner, to whom it had been carefully explained (which, indeed, was a +fact they knew) that to dine twelve people in the little dining-room +of the cottage was a feat which was accomplished with difficulty, +and that more was impossible. Society at Windyhill was very tolerant +and understanding on this point, for all the dining-rooms were small, +except, indeed, when you come to talk of such places as Huntingtower--and +they were very glad to be permitted to have a peep at the bridegroom on +these terms, or rather, if truth were told, of the bride, and how she +was bearing herself so near the crisis of her fate. The bridegroom is +seldom very interesting on such occasions. On the present occasion he +was more interesting than usual, because he was the Honourable Philip, +and because he had a reputation of which most people had heard something. +There was a mixture of alarm and suspicion in respect to him which +increased the excitement; and many remarks of varied kinds were made. "I +think the fellow's face quite bears out his character," said the doctor +to the Rector. "What a man to trust a nice girl to!" Mr. Hudson felt +that as the bridegroom was living under his roof he was partially +responsible, and discouraged this pessimistic view. "Mr. Compton has +not, perhaps, had all the advantages one tries to secure for one's own +son," he said, "but I have reason to believe that the things that have +been said of him are much exaggerated." "Oh, advantages!" said the +doctor, thinking of Alick, of whom it was his strongly expressed opinion +that the fellow should be turned out to rough it, and not coddled up and +spoiled at home. But while these remarks were going on, Miss Hill had +been expressing to the curate an entirely different view. "I think he +has a _beautiful_ face," she said with the emphasis some ladies use; "a +little worn, perhaps, with being too much in the world, and I wish he +had a better colour. To me he looks delicate: but what delightful +features, Mr. Whitebands, and what an aristocratic air!" + +"He looks tremendously up to everything," the curate said, with a faint +tone of envy in his voice. + +"Don't he just?" cried Alick Hudson. "I should think there wasn't a +thing he couldn't do--of things that men _do_ do, don't you know," cried +that carefully trained boy, whose style was confused, though his meaning +was good. But probably there were almost as many opinions about Phil +as there were people in the room. His two backers-up stood in a +corner--half intimidated, half contemptuous of the country people. +"Queer lot for Phil to fall among," said Dick Bolsover. "Que diable +allait-il faire dans cette galère?" said Harry Compton, who had been +about the world. "Oh, bosh with your French, that nobody understands," +said the best man. + +But in the meantime Phil was not there at all to be seen of men. He had +stolen out into the garden, where there was a white vision awaiting him +in the milky moonlight. The autumn haze had come early this season, and +the moon was misty, veiled with white amid a jumble of soft floating +vapours in the sky. Elinor stood among the flowers, which showed some +strange subdued tints of colours in the flooding of the white light, +like a bit of consolidated moonlight in her white dress. She had a white +shawl covering her from head to foot, with a corner thrown over her +hair. What had they to say to each other that last night? Not much; +nothing at all that had any information in it--whispers inaudible almost +to each other. There was something in being together for this stolen +moment, just on the eve of their being together for always, which had a +charm of its own. After to-night, no stealing away, no escape to the +garden, no little conspiracy to attain a meeting--the last of all those +delightful schemings and devices. They started when they heard a sound +from the house, and sped along the paths into the shadow like the +conspirators they were--but never to conspire more after this last +enthralling time. + +"You're not frightened, Nell?" + +"No--except a little. There is one thing----" + +"What is it, my pet? If it's to the half of my kingdom, it shall be +done." + +"Phil, we are going to be very good when we are together? don't +laugh--to help each other?" + +He did laugh low, not to be heard, but long. "I shall have no +temptation," he said, "to be anything but good, you little goose of a +Nell," taking it for a warning of possible jealousy to come. + +"Oh, but I mean both of us--to help each other." + +"Why, Nell, I know you'll never go wrong----" + +She gave him a little impatient shake. "You will not understand me, +Phil. We will try to be better than we've ever been. To be good--don't +you know what that means?--in every way, before God." + +Her voice dropped very low, and he was for a moment overawed. "You mean +going to church, Nell?" + +"I mean--yes, that for one thing; and many other things." + +"That's dropping rather strong upon a fellow," he said, "just at this +moment, don't you think, when I must say yes to everything you say." + +"Oh, I don't mean it in that way; and I was not thinking of church +particularly; but to be good, very good, true and kind, in our hearts." + +"You are all that already, Nell." + +"Oh, no, not what I mean. When there are two of us instead of one we can +do so much more." + +"Well, my pet, it's for you to make out the much more. I'm quite content +with you as you are; it's me that you want to improve, and heaven knows +there's plenty of room for that." + +"No, Phil, not you more than me," she said. + +"We'll choose a place where the sermon's short, and we'll see about it. +You mean little minx, to bind a man down to go to church, the night +before his wedding day!" + +And then there was a sound of movement indoors, and after a little while +the bride appeared among the guests with a little more colour than +usual, and an anxiously explanatory description of something she had +been obliged to do; and the confused hour flew on with much sound of +talking and very little understanding of what was said. And then all +the visitors streamed away group after group into the moonlight, +disappearing like ghosts under the shadow of the trees. Finally, the +Rectory party went too, the three mild ladies surrounded by an exciting +circle of cigars; for Alick, of course, had broken all bonds, and even +the Rector accepted that rare indulgence. Alice Hudson half deplored, +half exulted for years after in the scent that would cling round one +particular evening dress. Five gentlemen, all with cigars, and papa as +bad as any of them! There had never been such an extraordinary +experience in her life. + +And then the Tathams, too, withdrew, and the mother and daughter stood +alone on their own hearth. Oh, so much, so much as there was to say! but +how were they to say it?--the last moment, which was so precious and so +intolerable--the moment that would never come again. + +"You were a long time with Philip, Elinor, in the garden. I think all +your old friends ---- the last night." + +"I wanted to say something to him, mamma, that I had never had the +courage to say." + +Mrs. Dennistoun had been looking dully into the dim mirror over the +mantelpiece. She turned half round to her daughter with an inquiring +look. + +"Oh, mamma, I wanted to say to him that we must be good! We're so happy. +God is so kind to us; and you--if you suppose I don't think of you! It +was to say to him--building our house upon all this, God's mercy and +your loss, and all--that we are doubly, doubly bound to serve--and to +love--and to be good people before God; and like you, mother, like you!" + +"My darling!" Mrs. Dennistoun said. And that was all. She asked no +questions as to how it was to be done, or what he replied. Elinor had +broken down hysterically, and sobbed out the words one at a time, as +they would come through the choking in her throat. Needless to say that +she ended in her mother's arms, her head upon the bosom which had nursed +her, her slight weight dependent upon the supporter and protector of +all her life. + +That was the last evening. There remained the last morning to come; and +after that--what? The great sea of an unknown life, a new pilot, and a +ship untried. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + + +And now the last morning had come. + +The morning of a wedding-day is a flying and precarious moment which +seems at once as if it never would end, and as if it were a hurried +preliminary interval in which the necessary preparations never could be +done. Elinor was not allowed to come down-stairs to help, as she felt it +would be natural to do. It was Mary Tatham who arranged the flowers on +the table, and helped Dennistoun to superintend everything. All the +women in the house, though they were so busy, were devoted at every +spare moment to the service of Elinor. They brought her simple breakfast +up-stairs, one maid carrying the tray and another the teapot, that each +might have their share. The cook, though she was overwhelmed with work, +had made some cakes for breakfast, such us Elinor liked. "Most like as +we'll never have her no more--to mind," she said. The gardener sent up +an untidy bundle of white flowers. And Mrs. Dennistoun came herself to +pour out the tea. "As if I had been ill, or had turned into a baby +again," Elinor said. But there was not much said. Mary Tatham was there +for one thing, and for another and the most important they had said all +they had to say; the rest which remained could not be said. The wedding +was to be at a quarter to twelve, in order to give Lady Mariamne time to +come from town. It was not the fashion then to delay marriages to the +afternoon, which no doubt would have been much more convenient for +her ladyship; but the best that could be done was done. Mr. Tatham's +carriage, which he had brought with him to grace the ceremony, was +despatched to the station to meet Lady Mariamne, while he, good man, +had to get to church as he could in one of the flys. And then came the +important moment, when the dressing of the bride had to be begun. The +wedding-breakfast was not yet all set out in perfect order, and there +were many things to do. Yet every woman in the house had a little share +in the dressing of the bride. They all came to see how it fitted when +the wedding-dress was put on. It fitted like a glove! The long glossy +folds of the satin were a wonder to see. Cook stood just within the door +in a white apron, and wept, and could not say a word to Miss Elinor; but +the younger maids sent forth a murmur of admiration. And the Missis they +thought was almost as beautiful as the bride, though her satin was grey. +Mrs. Dennistoun herself threw the veil over her child's head, and put in +the diamond star, the old-fashioned ornament, which had been her +husband's present to herself. And then again she had meant to say +something to Elinor--a last word--but the word would not come. They were +both of them glad that somebody should be there all the time, that they +should not be left alone. And after that the strange, hurried, +everlasting morning was over, and the carriage was at the door. + +Then again it was a relief that old Mr. Tatham had missed his proper +place in the fly, and had to go on the front seat with the bride and her +mother. It was far better so. If they had been left even for ten minutes +alone, who could have answered that one or the other would not have +cried, and discomposed the bouquet and the veil? It seemed a great +danger and responsibility over when they arrived at last safely at the +church door. Lady Mariamne was just then arriving from the station. She +drew up before them in poor Mr. Tatham's carriage, keeping them back. +Harry Compton and Mr. Bolsover sprang to the carriage window to talk to +her, and there was a loud explosion of mirth and laughter in the midst +of the village people, and the children with their baskets of flowers +who were already gathered. Lady Mariamne's voice burst out so shrill +that it overmastered the church bells. "Here I am," she cried, "out in +the wilderness. And Algy has come with me to take care of me. And how +are you, dear boys; and how is poor Phil?" "Phil is all ready to be +turned off, with the halter round his neck," said Dick Bolsover; and +Harry Compton said, "Hurry up, hurry up, Jew, the bride is behind you, +waiting to get out." "She must wait, then," said Lady Mariamne, and +there came leisurely out of the carriage, first, her ladyship's +companion, by name, Algy, a tall person with an eye-glass, then a little +pug, which was carefully handed into his arms, and then lightly jumping +down to the ground, a little figure in black--in black of all things in +the world! a sight that curdled the blood of the village people, and +of Mrs. Hudson, who had walked across from the Rectory in a gown of +pigeon's-breast silk which scattered prismatic reflections as she +walked. In black! Mrs. Hudson bethought herself that she had a white +China crape shawl in her cupboard, and wondered if she could offer it to +conceal this ill omened gown. But if Lady Mariamne's dress was dark, she +herself was fair enough, with an endless fluff of light hair under her +little black lace bonnet. Her gloves were off, and her hands were white +and glistening with rings. "Give me my puggy darling," she said in her +loud, shrill tone. "I can go nowhere, can I, pet, without my little +pug!" + +"A Jew and a pug, both in church. It is enough," said her brother, "to +get the poor parson into trouble with his bishop." + +"Oh, the bishop's a great friend of mine," said the lady; "he will say +nothing to me, not if I put Pug in a surplice and make him lead the +choir." At this speech there was a great laugh of the assembled party, +which stood in the centre of the path, while Mr. Tatham's carriage edged +away, and the others made efforts to get forward. The noise of their +talk disturbed the curious abstraction in which Elinor had been going +through the morning hours. Mariamne's jarring voice seemed louder than +the bells. Was this the first voice sent out to greet her by the new +life which was about to begin? She glanced at her mother, and then +at old Uncle Tatham, who sat immovable, prevented by decorum from +apostrophising the coachman who was not his own, but fuming inwardly at +the interruption. Mrs. Dennistoun did not move at all, but her daughter +knew very well what was meant by that look straight before her, in which +her mother seemed to ignore all obstacles in the way. + +"I got here very well," Lady Mariamne went on; "we started in the middle +of the night, of course, before the lamps were out. Wasn't it good of +Algy to get himself out of bed at such an unearthly hour! But he snapped +at Puggy as we came down, which was a sign he felt it. Why aren't you +with the poor victim at the altar, you boys?" + +"Phil will be in blue funk," said Harry; "go in and stand by your man, +Dick: the Jew has enough with two fellows to see her into her place." + +The bride's carriage by this time pushed forward, making Lady Mariamne +start in confusion. "Oh! look here; they have splashed my pretty +toilette, and upset my nerves," she cried, springing back into her +supporter's arms. + +That gentleman regarded the stain of the damp gravel on the lady's skirt +through his eye-glass with deep but helpless anxiety. "It's a pity for +the pretty frock!" he said with much seriousness. And the group gathered +round and gazed in dismay, as if they expected it to disappear of +itself--until Mrs. Hudson bustled up. "It will rub off; it will not make +any mark. If one of you gentlemen will lend me a handkerchief," she +said. And Algy and Harry and Dick Bolsover, not to speak of Lady +Mariamne herself, watched with great gravity while the gravel was swept +off. "I make no doubt," said the Rector's wife, "that I have the +pleasure of speaking to Lady Mariamne: and I don't doubt that black is +the fashion and your dress is beautiful: but if you would just throw on +a white shawl for the sake of the wedding--it's so unlucky to come in +black----" + +"A white shawl!" said Lady Mariamne in dismay. + +"The Jew in a white shawl!" echoed the others with a burst of laughter +which rang into the church itself and made Phil before the altar, alone +and very anxious, ask himself what was up. + +"It's China crape, I assure you, and very nice," Mrs. Hudson said. + +Lady Mariamne gave the good Samaritan a stony stare, and took Algy's arm +and sailed into the church before the Rector's wife, without a word +said; while all the women from the village looked at each other and +said, "Well, I never!" under their breath. + +"Let me give you my arm, Mrs. Hudson," said Harry Compton, "and please +pardon me that I did not introduce my sister to you. She is dreadfully +shy, don't you know, and never does speak to anyone when she has not +been introduced." + +"My observation was a very simple one," said Mrs. Hudson, very angry, +yet pleased to lean upon an Honourable arm. + +"My dear lady!" cried the good-natured Harry, "the Jew never wore a +shawl in her life----" + +And all this time the organ had been pealing, the white vision passing +up the aisle, the simple villagers chanting forth their song about the +breath that breathed o'er Eden. Alas! Eden had not much to do with it, +except perhaps in the trembling heart of the white maiden roused out of +her virginal dream by the jarring voices of the new life. The laughter +outside was a dreadful offence to all the people, great and small, who +had collected to see Elinor married. + +"What could you expect? It's that woman whom they call the Jew," +whispered Lady Huntingtower to her next neighbour. + +"She should be put into the stocks," said Sir John, scarcely under his +breath, which, to be sure, was also an interruption to the decorum of +the place. + +And then there ensued a pause broken by the voice, a little lugubrious +in tone, of the Rector within the altar rails, and the tremulous answers +of the pair outside. The audience held its breath to hear Elinor make +her responses, and faltered off into suppressed weeping as the low tones +ceased. Sir John Huntingtower, who was very tall and big, and stood out +like a pillar among the ladies round, kept nodding his head all the time +she spoke, nodding as you might do in forced assent to any dreadful vow. +Poor little thing, poor little thing, he was saying in his heart. His +face was more like the face of a man at a funeral than a man at a +wedding. "Blessed are the dead that die in the Lord"--he might have been +nodding assent to that instead of to Elinor's low-spoken vow. Phil +Compton's voice, to tell the truth, was even more tremulous than +Elinor's. To investigate the thoughts of a bridegroom would be too much +curiosity at such a moment. But I think if the secrets of the hearts +could be revealed, Phil for a moment was sorry for poor little Elinor +too. + +And then the solemnity was all over in a moment, and the flutter of +voices and congratulations began. + +I do not mean to follow the proceedings through all the routine of the +wedding-day. Attempts were made on the part of the bridegroom's party +to get Lady Mariamne dismissed by the next train, an endeavour into +which Harry Compton threw himself--for he was always a good-hearted +fellow--with his whole soul. But the Jew declared that she was dying of +hunger, and whatever sort of place it was, must have something to eat; a +remark which naturally endeared her still more to Mrs. Dennistoun, who +was waiting by the door of Mr. Tatham's carriage, which that anxious old +gentleman had managed to recover control of, till her ladyship had taken +her place. Her ladyship stared with undisguised amazement when she was +followed into the carriage by the bride's mother, and when the neat +little old gentleman took his seat opposite. "But where is Algy? I want +Algy," she cried, in dismay. "Absolutely I can't go without Algy, who +came to take care of me." + +"You will be perfectly safe, my dear lady, with Mrs. Dennistoun and me. +The gentlemen will walk," said Mr. Tatham, waving his hand to the +coachman. + +And thus it was that the forlorn lady found herself without her cavalier +and without her pug, absolutely stranded among savages, notwithstanding +her strong protest almost carried the length of tears. She was thus +carried off in a state of consternation to the cottage over the rough +road, where the wheels went with a din and lurch over the stones, and +dug deep into the sand, eliciting a succession of little shrieks from +her oppressed bosom. "I shall be shaken all to bits," she said, grasping +the arm of the old gentleman to steady herself. Mr. Tatham was not +displeased to be the champion of a lady of title. He assured her in +dulcet tones that his springs were very good and his horses very +sure--"though it is not a very nice road." + +"Oh, it is a dreadful road!" said Lady Mariamne. + +But in due time they did arrive at the cottage, where her ladyship could +not wait for the gathering of the company, but demanded at once +something to eat. "I can't really go another moment without food. I must +have something or I shall die. Phil, come here this instant and get me +something. They have brought me off at the risk of my life, and there's +nobody to attend to me. Don't stand spooning there," cried Lady Mariamne, +"but do what I tell you. Do you think I should ever have put myself into +this position but for you?" + +"You would never have been asked here if they had consulted me. I knew +what a nuisance you'd be. Here, get this lady something to eat, old +man," said the bridegroom, tapping Mr. Tatham on the back, who did, +indeed, look rather like a waiter from that point of view. + +"I shall have to help myself," said the lady in despair. And she sat +down at the elaborate table in the bride's place and began to hack at +the chicken. The gentlemen coming in at the moment roared again with +laughter over the Jew's impatience; but it was not regarded with the +same admiration by the rest of the guests. + +These little incidents, perhaps, helped to wile away the weary hours +until it was time for the bridal pair to depart. Mrs. Dennistoun was so +angry that it kept up a little fire, so to speak, in her heart when the +light of her house was extinguished. Lady Mariamne, standing in the +porch with a bag full of rice to throw, kept up the spirit of the +mistress of the house, which otherwise might, perhaps, have failed her +altogether at that inconceivable moment; for though she had been looking +forward to it for months it was inconceivable when it came, as death is +inconceivable. Elinor going away!--not on a visit, or to be back in a +week, or a month, or a year--going away for ever! ending, as might be +said, when she put her foot on the step of the carriage. Her mother +stood by and looked on with that cruel conviction that overtakes all +at the last. Up to this moment had it not seemed as if the course of +affairs was unreal, as if something must happen to prevent it? Perhaps +the world will end to-night, as the lover says in the "Last Ride." But +now here was the end: nothing had happened, the world was swinging on in +space in its old careless way, and Elinor was going--going away for ever +and ever. Oh, to come back, perhaps--there was nothing against that--but +never the same Elinor. The mother stood looking, with her hand over her +eyes to shield them from the sun. Those eyes were quite dry, and she +stood firm and upright by the carriage door. She was not "breaking down" +or "giving way," as everybody feared. She was "bearing up," as everybody +was relieved to see. And in a moment it was all over, and there was +nothing before her eyes--no carriage, no Elinor. She was so dazed that +she stood still, looking with that strange kind of smile for a full +minute after there was nothing to smile at, only the vacant air and the +prospect of the combe, coming in in a sickly haze which existed only in +her eyes. + +But, by good luck, there was Lady Mariamne behind, and the fire of +indignation giving a red flicker upon the desolate hearth. + +"I caught Phil on the nose," said that lady, in great triumph; "spoilt +his beauty for him for to-day. But let's hope she won't mind. She thinks +him beautiful, the little goose. Oh, my Puggy-wuggy, did that cruel Algy +pull your little, dear tail, you darling? Come to oos own mammy, now +those silly wedding people are away." + +"Your little dog, I presume, is of a very rare sort," said Mr. Tatham, +to be civil. He had proposed the bride and bridegroom's health in a most +appropriate speech, and he felt that he had deserved well of his kind, +which made him more amiable even than usual. "Your ladyship's little +dog," he added, after a moment, as she did not take any notice, "I +presume, is of a rare kind?" + +Lady Mariamne gave him a look, or rather a stare. "Is Puggy of a rare +sort?" she said over her shoulder, to one of the attendant tribe. + +"Don't be such a duffer, Jew! You know as well as any one what breed +he's of," Harry Compton said. + +"Oh, I forgot," said the fine lady. She was standing full in front of +the entrance, keeping Mrs. Dennistoun in the full sun outside. "I hope +there's a train very soon," she said. "Did you look, Algy, as I told +you? If it hadn't been that Phil would have killed me I should have gone +now. It would have been such fun to have spied upon the turtle doves!" + +The men thought it would have been rare fun with obedient delight, but +that Phil would have cut up rough, and made a scene. At this Lady +Mariamne held up her finger, and made a portentous face. + +"Oh, you naughty, naughty boy," she cried, "telling tales out of +school." + +"Perhaps, my dear lady," said Mr. Tatham, quietly, "you would let Mrs. +Dennistoun pass." + +"Oh!" said Lady Mariamne, and stared at him again for half a minute; +then she turned and stared at the tall lady in grey satin. "Anybody can +pass," she said: "I'm not so very big." + +"That is quite true--quite true. There is plenty of room," said the +little gentleman, holding out his hand to his cousin. + +"My dear John," said Mrs. Dennistoun, "I am sure you will be kind enough +to lend your carriage again to Lady Mariamne, who is in a hurry to get +away. There is another train, which stops at Downforth station, in half +an hour, and there will just be time to get there, if you will order it +at once. I told your man to be in readiness: and it would be a thousand +pities to lose this train, for there is not another for an hour." + +"By Jove, Jew! there's a slap in the face for you," said, in an audible +whisper, one of the train, who had been standing in front of all the +friends, blocking out the view. As for Lady Mariamne, she stared more +straight than ever into Mrs. Dennistoun's eyes, but for the moment did +not seem to find anything to say. She was left in the hall with her band +while the mistress of the house went into the drawing-room, followed by +all the country ladies, who had not lost a word, and who were already +whispering to each other over that terrible betrayal about the temper of +Phil. + +"Cut up rough! Oh! poor little Elinor, poor little Elinor!" the ladies +said to each other under their breath. + +"I am not at all surprised. It is not any news to me. You could see it +in his eyes," said Miss Mary Dale. And then they all were silent to +listen to the renewed laughter that came bursting from the hall. Mrs. +Hudson questioned her husband afterwards as to what it was that made +everybody laugh, but the Rector had not much to say. "I really could +not tell you, my dear," he said. "I don't remember anything that was +said--but it seemed funny somehow, and as they all laughed one had to +laugh too." + +The great lady came in, however, dragged by her brother to say good-by. +"It has all gone off very well, I am sure, and Nell looked very nice, +and did you great credit," she said, putting out her hand. "And it's +very kind of you to take so much trouble to get us off by the first +train." + +"Oh, it is no trouble," Mrs. Dennistoun said. + +"Shouldn't you like to say good-by to Puggy-muggy?" said Lady Mariamne, +touching the little black nose upon her arm. "He enjoyed that _pâté_ so +much. He really never has _foie gras_ at home: but he doesn't at all +mind if you would like to give him a little kiss just here." + +"Good-by, Lady Mariamne," said Mrs. Dennistoun, with one of the curtseys +of the old school. But there was another gust of laughter as Lady +Mariamne was placed in the carriage, and a shrill little trumpet gave +forth the satisfaction of the departing guest at having "got a rise out +of the old girl." The gentlemen heaped themselves into Mr. Tatham's +carriage, and swept off along with her, all but civil Harry, who +waited to make their apologies, and to put up along with his own Dick +Bolsover's "things." And thus the bridegroom's party, the new associates +of Elinor, the great family into which the Honourable Mrs. Phil Compton +had been so lucky as to marry, to the great excitement of all the country +round, departed and was seen no more. Harry, who was civil, walked home +with the Hudsons when all was over, and said the best he could for the +Jew and her friends. "You see, she has been regularly spoiled: and +then when a girl's so dreadful shy, as often as not it sounds like +impudence." "Dear me, I should never have thought Lady Mariamne was +shy," the gentle Rector said. "That's just how it is," said Harry. He +went over again in the darkening to take his leave of Mrs. Dennistoun. +He found her sitting out in the garden before the open door, looking +down the misty walk. The light had gone out of the skies, but the usual +cheerful lights had not yet appeared in the house, where the hum of a +great occasion still reigned. The Tathams were at the Rectory, and Mrs. +Dennistoun was alone. Harry Compton had a good heart, and though he +could not conceive the possibility of a woman not being glad to have +married her daughter, the loneliness and darkness touched him a little +in contrast with the gayety of the previous night. "You must think us a +dreadful noisy lot," he said, "and as if my sister had no sense. But +it's only the Jew's way. She's made like that--and at bottom she's not +at all a bad sort." + +"Are you going away?" was all the answer that Mrs. Dennistoun made. + +"Oh, yes, and we shall be a good riddance," said Harry; "but please +don't think any worse of us than you can help---- Phil--well, he's got a +great deal of good in him--he has indeed, and she'll bring it all out." + +It was very good of Harry Compton. He had a little choking in his throat +as he walked back. "Blest if I ever thought of it in that light before," +he said to himself. + +But I doubt if what he said, however well meant, brought much comfort to +Mrs. Dennistoun's heart. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + + +Thus Elinor Dennistoun disappeared from Windyhill and was no more seen. +There are many ways in which a marriage is almost like a death, +especially when the marriage is that of an only child. The young go +away, the old remain. There is all the dreary routine of the solitary +life unbrightened by that companionship which is all the world to the +one who is left behind. So little--only the happy going away into +brighter scenes of one whose happiness was the whole thought of that +dreary survivor at the chimney corner--and yet so much. And if that +survivor is a woman she has to smile and tell her neighbours of the +bride's happiness, and how great the comfort to herself that her +Elinor's life is assured, and her own ending is now of no particular +importance to her daughter; if it is a man, he is allowed to lament, +which is a curious paradox, but one of the many current in this world. +Mrs. Dennistoun had to put a very brave face upon it all the more +because of the known unsatisfactoriness of Elinor's husband: and she had +to go on with her life, and sit down at her solitary meals, and invent +lonely occupations for herself, and read and read, till her brains were +often dazed by the multiplicity of the words, which lost their meaning +as she turned over page by page. To sit alone in the house, without +a sound audible, except perhaps the movement of the servants going +up-stairs or down to minister to the wants, about which she felt she +cared nothing whether they were ministered to or not, of their solitary +mistress, where a little while ago there used to be the rhythm of the +one quick step, the sound of the one gay voice which made the world a +warm inhabited place to Mrs. Dennistoun--this was more dismal than words +could say. To be sure, there were some extraordinary and delightful +differences; there were the almost daily letters, which afforded the +lonely mother all the pleasure that life could give; and there was +always the prospect, or at least possibility and hope, of seeing her +child again. Those two particulars, it need scarcely be said, make a +difference which is practically infinite: but yet for Mrs. Dennistoun, +sitting alone all the day and night, walking alone, reading alone, +with little to do that was of the slightest consequence, not even the +reading--for what did it matter to her dreary, lonely consciousness +whether she kept afloat of general literature or improved her mind +or not? this separation by marriage was dreadfully like the dreary +separation by death, and in one respect it was almost worse; for death, +if it reaches our very hearts, takes away at least the gnawing pangs of +anxiety. He or she who is gone that way is well; never more can trouble +touch them, their feet cannot err nor their hearts ache; while who can +tell what troubles and miseries may be befalling, out there in the +unknown, the child who has embarked upon the troubled sea of mortal +life? + +And it may be imagined with what anxious eyes those letters, which made +all the difference, were read; how the gradually changing tone in them +was noted as it came in, slowly but also surely. Sometimes they got +to be very hurried, and then Mrs. Dennistoun saw as in a glass the +impatient husband waiting, wondering what she could constantly find +to say to her mother; sometimes they were long and detailed, and +that meant, as would appear perhaps by a phrase slurred over in the +postscript, that Phil had gone away somewhere. There was never a +complaint in them, never a word that could be twisted into a complaint: +but the anxious mother read between the lines innumerable things, not +half of them true. There is perhaps never a half true of what anxiety +may imagine: but then the half that is true! + +John Tatham was very faithful to her during that winter. As soon as he +came back from Switzerland, at the end of the long vacation, he went +down to see her, feeling the difference in the house beyond anything he +had imagined, feeling as if he were stepping into some darkened outer +chamber of the grave: but with a cheerful face and eager but confident +interest in "the news from Elinor." "Of course she is enjoying herself +immensely," he said, and Mrs. Dennistoun was able to reply with a smile +that was a little wistful, that yes, Elinor was enjoying herself +immensely. "She seems very happy, and everything is new to her and +bright," she said. They were both very glad that Elinor was happy, and +they were very cheerful themselves. Mrs. Dennistoun truly cheered by his +visit and by the necessity for looking after everything that John might +be comfortable, and the pleasure of seeing his face opposite to her at +table. "You can't think what it is to see you there; sitting down to +dinner is the most horrible farce when one is alone." "Poor aunt!" John +Tatham said: and nobody would believe how many Saturdays and Sundays he +gave up to her during the long winter. Somehow he himself did not care +to go anywhere else. In Elinor's time he had gone about freely enough, +liking a little variety in his Saturday to Mondays, though always +happiest when he went to Windyhill: but now somehow the other houses +seemed to pall upon him. He liked best to go down to that melancholy +house which his presence made more or less bright, where there was an +endless talk of Elinor, where she was, what she was doing, and what was +to be her next move, and, at last, when she was coming to town. Mrs. +Dennistoun did not say, as she did at first, "when she is coming home." +That possibility seemed to slip away somehow, and no one suggested it. +When she was coming to town, that was what they said between themselves. +She had spent the spring on the Riviera, a great part of it at Monte +Carlo, and her letters were full of the beauty of the place; but she +said less and less about people, and more and more about the sea and the +mountains, and the glorious road which gave at every turn a new and +beautiful vision of the hills and the sea. It was a little like a +guide-book, they sometimes felt, but neither said it; but at last it +became certain that in the month of May she was coming to town. + +More than that, oh, more than that! One evening in May, when it was fine +but a little chilly, when Mrs. Dennistoun was walking wistfully in her +garden, looking at the moon shining in the west, and wondering if her +child had arrived in England, and whether she was coming to a house of +her own, or a lodging, or to be a visitor in some one else's house, +details which Elinor had not given--her ear was suddenly caught by the +distant rumbling of wheels, heavy wheels, the fly from the station +certainly. Mrs. Dennistoun had no expectation of what it could be, no +sort of hope: and yet a woman has always a sort of hope when her child +lives and everything is possible. The fly seemed to stop, not coming up +the little cottage drive; but by and by, when she had almost given up +hoping, there came a rush of flying feet, and a cry of joy, and Elinor +was in her mother's arms. Elinor! yes, it was herself, no vision, no +shadow such as had many a time come into Mrs. Dennistoun's dreams, but +herself in flesh and blood, the dear familiar figure, the face which, +between the twilight and those ridiculous tears which come when one is +too happy, could scarcely be seen at all. "Elinor, Elinor! it is you, my +darling!" "Yes, mother, it is me, really me. I could not write, because +I did not know till the last minute whether I could get away." + +It may be imagined what a coming home that was. Mrs. Dennistoun, when +she saw her daughter even by the light of the lamp, was greatly +comforted. Elinor was looking well; she was changed in that +indescribable way in which marriage changes (though not always) the +happiest woman. And her appearance was changed; she was no longer the +country young lady very well dressed and looking as well as any one +could in her carefully made clothes. She was now a fashionable young +woman, about whose dresses there was no question, who wore everything as +those do who are at the fountain-head, no matter what it was she wore. +Mrs. Dennistoun's eyes caught this difference at once, which is also +indescribable to the uninitiated, and a sensation of pride came into her +mind. Elinor was improved, too, in so many ways. Her mother had never +thought of calling her anything more, even in her inmost thoughts, than +very pretty, very sweet; but it seemed to Mrs. Dennistoun now as if +people might use a stronger word, and call Elinor beautiful. Her face +had gained a great deal of expression, though it was always an +expressive face; her eyes looked deeper; her manner had a wonderful +youthful dignity. Altogether, it was another Elinor, yet, God be +praised, the same. + +It was but for one night, but that was a great deal, a night subtracted +from the blank, a night that seemed to come out of the old times--those +old times that had not been known to be so very happy till they were +over and gone. Elinor had naturally a great deal to tell her mother, but +in the glory of seeing her, of hearing her voice, of knowing that it was +actually she who was speaking, Mrs. Dennistoun did not observe, what she +remembered afterwards, that again it was much more of places than of +people that Elinor talked, and that though she named Phil when there was +any occasion for doing so, she did not babble about him as brides do, as +if he were altogether the sun, and everything revolved round him. It is +not a good sign, perhaps, when the husband comes down to his "proper +place" as the representative of the other half of the world too soon. +Elinor looked round upon her old home with a mingled smile and sigh. +Undoubtedly it had grown smaller, perhaps even shabbier, since she went +away: but she did not say so to her mother. She cried out how pretty it +was, how delightful to come back to it! and that was true too. How often +it happens in this life that there are two things quite opposed to each +other, and yet both of them true. + +"John will be delighted to hear that you have come, Elinor," her mother +said. + +"John, dear old John! I hope he is well and happy, and all that; and he +comes often to see you, mother? How sweet of him! You must give him ever +so much love from his poor Nelly. I always keep that name sacred to +him." + +"But why should I give him messages as if you were not sure to meet? of +course you will meet--often." + +"Do you think so?" said Elinor. She opened her eyes a little in +surprise, and then shook her head. "I am afraid not, mamma. We are in +two different worlds." + +"I assure you," said Mrs. Dennistoun, "John is a very rising man. He is +invited everywhere." + +"That I don't doubt at all." + +"And why then shouldn't you meet?" + +"I don't know. I don't fancy we shall go to the same places. John has a +profession; he has something to do. Now you know we have nothing to do." + +She laughed and laid a little emphasis on the _we_, by way of taking off +the weight of the words. + +"I always thought it was a great pity, Elinor." + +"It may be a pity or not," said Elinor, "but it is, and it cannot be +helped. We have got to make up our minds to it. I would rather Phil did +nothing than mixed himself up with companies. Thank heaven, at present +he is free of anything of that kind." + +"I hope he is free of that one at least, that he was going to invest all +your money in, Elinor. I hope you found another investment that was +quite steady and safe." + +"Oh, I suppose so," said Elinor, with some of her old petulance: "don't +let us spoil the little time I have by talking about money, mamma!" + +And then it was that Mrs. Dennistoun noticed that what Elinor did talk +of, hurrying away from this subject, were things of not the least +importance--the olive woods on the Riviera, the wealth of flowers, the +strange little old towns upon the hills. Surely even the money, which +was her own and for her comfort, would be a more interesting subject +to discuss. Perhaps Elinor herself perceived this, for she began +immediately to ask questions about the Hudsons and Hills, and all the +people of the parish, with much eagerness of questioning, but a flagging +interest in the replies, as her mother soon saw. "And Mary Dale, is she +still there?" she asked. Mrs. Dennistoun entered into a little history +of how Mary Dale had gone away to nurse a distant cousin who had been +ill, and finally had died and left a very comfortable little fortune to +her kind attendant. Elinor listened with little nods and appropriate +exclamations, but before the evening was out asked again, "And Mary +Dale?" then hastily corrected herself with an "Oh, I remember! you told +me." But it was perhaps safer not to question her how much she +remembered of what she had been told. + +Thus there were notes of disquiet in even that delightful evening, such +a contrast as it was to all the evenings since she had left home. Even +when John came, what a poor substitute for Elinor! The ingratitude of +those whose heart is set on one object made Mrs. Dennistoun thus make +light of what had been her great consolation. He was very kind, very +good, and oh, how glad she had been to see him through that heavy +winter--but he was not Elinor! It was enough for Elinor to step across +her mother's threshold to make Mrs. Dennistoun feel that there was no +substitute for her--none: and that John was of no more consequence than +the Rector or any habitual caller. But, at the same time, in all the +melody of the home-coming, in the sweetness of Elinor's voice, and look, +and kiss, in the perfection of seeing her there again in her own place, +and listening to her dear step running up and down the no longer silent +house, there were notes of disquiet which could not be mistaken. She was +not unhappy, the mother thought; her eyes could not be so bright, nor +her colour so fair unless she was happy. Trouble does not embellish, and +Elinor was embellished. But yet--there were notes of disquiet in the +air. + +Next day Mrs. Dennistoun drove her child to the railway in order not +to lose a moment of so short a visit, and naturally, though she had +received that unexpected visit with rapture, feeling that a whole night +of Elinor was worth a month, a year of anybody else, yet now that Elinor +was going she found it very short. "You'll come again soon, my darling?" +she said, as she stood at the window of the carriage ready to say +good-bye. + +"Whenever I can, mother dear, of that you may be sure; whenever I can +get away." + +"I don't wish to draw you from your husband. Don't get away--come with +Philip from Saturday to Monday. Give him my love, and tell him so. He +shall not be bored; but Sunday is a day without engagements." + +"Oh, not now, mamma. There are just as many things to do on Sundays as +on any other day." + +There were a great many words on Mrs. Dennistoun's lips, but she did not +say them; all she did say was, "Well, then, Elinor--when you can get +away." + +"Oh, you need not doubt me, mamma." And the train, which sometimes +lingers so long, which some people that very day were swearing at as so +slow, "Like all country trains," they said--that inevitable heartless +thing got into motion, and Mrs. Dennistoun watched it till it +disappeared; and--what was that that came over Elinor's face as she sank +back into the corner of her carriage, not knowing her mother's anxious +look followed her still--what was it? Oh, dreadful, dreadful life! oh, +fruitless love and longing!--was it relief? The mother tried to get that +look out of her mind as she drove silently and slowly home, creeping up +hill after hill. There was no need to hurry. All that she was going to +was an empty and silent house, where nobody awaited her. What was that +look on Elinor's face? Relief! to have it over, to get away again, +away from her old home and her fond mother, away to her new life. Mrs. +Dennistoun was not a jealous mother nor unreasonable. She said to +herself--Well! it was no doubt a trial to the child to come back--to +come alone. All the time, perhaps, she was afraid of being too closely +questioned, of having to confess that _he_ did not want to come, perhaps +grudged her coming. She might be afraid that her mother would divine +something--some hidden opposition, some dislike, perhaps, on his part. +Poor Elinor! and when everything had passed over so well, when it was +ended, and nothing had been between them but love and mutual +understanding, what wonder if there came over her dear face a look of +relief! This was how this good woman, who had seen a great many things +in her passage through life, explained her child's look: and though she +was sad was not angry, as many less tolerant and less far-seeing might +have been in her place. + +John, that good John, to whom she had been so ungrateful, came down next +Saturday, and to him she confided her great news, but not all of it. +"She came down--alone?" he said. + +"Well," said Mrs. Dennistoun, bravely; "she knew very well it was her I +wanted to see, and not Philip. They say a great deal about mothers-in-law, +but why shouldn't we in our turn have our fling at sons-in-law, John? It +was not him I wanted to see: it was my own child: and Elinor understood +that, and ran off by herself. Bless her for the thought." + +"I understand that," said John. He had given the mother more than one +look as she spoke, and divined her better than she supposed. "Oh, yes, I +can understand that. The thing I don't understand is why he let her; why +he wasn't too proud to bring her back to you, that you might see she had +taken no harm. If it had been I----" + +"Ah, but it was not you," said Mrs. Dennistoun; "you forget that. It +never could have been you." + +He looked quickly at her again, and it was on his lips to ask, "Why +could it never have been I?" but he did not; for he knew that if it had +ever been him, it could not have been for years. He was too prudent, and +Elinor, even if she had escaped Phil Compton, would have met some one +else. He had no right to say, or even think, what, in the circumstances, +he would have done. He did not make any answer, but she understood him +as he understood her. + +And later in the evening she asked his advice as to what she should do. +"I am not fond of asking advice," she said, "and I don't think there is +another in the world I would ask it from but you. What should I do? It +would cost me nothing to run up to town for a part of the season at +least. I might get a little house, and be near her, where she could come +to me when she pleased. Should I do it, or would it be wise not to do +it? I don't want to spy upon her or to force her to tell me more than +she wishes. John, my dear, I will tell you what I would tell no one +else. I caught a glimpse of her dear face when the train was just going +out of sight, and she was sinking back in her corner with a look of +relief----" + +"Of relief!" he cried. + +"John, don't form any false impression! it was no want of love: but I +think she was thankful to have seen me, and to have satisfied me, and +that I had asked no questions that she could not answer--in a way." + +John clenched his fist, but he dared not make any gesture of disgust, +or suggest again, "If it had been I." + +"Well, now," she said, "remember I am not angry--fancy being angry with +Elinor!--and all I mean is for her benefit. Should I go? it might be a +relief to her to run into me whenever she pleased; or should I not go? +lest she might think I was bent on finding out more than she chose to +tell?" + +"Wouldn't it be right that you should find out?" + +"That is just the point upon which I am doubtful. She is not unhappy, +for she is--she is prettier than ever she was, John. A girl does not +get like that--her eyes brighter, her colour clearer, looking--well, +beautiful!" cried the mother, her eyes filling with bright tears, "if +she is unhappy. But there may be things that are not quite smooth, that +she might think it would make me unhappy to know, yet that if let alone +might come all right. Tell me, John, what should I do?" + +And they sat debating thus till far on in the night. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + + +Mrs. Dennistoun did not go up to town. There are some women who would +have done so, seeing the other side of the subject--at all hazards; and +perhaps they would have been right--who can tell? She did not--denying +herself, keeping herself by main force in her solitude, not to interfere +with the life of her child, which was drawn on lines so different from +any of hers--and perhaps she was wrong. Who knows, except by the event, +which is the best or the worst way in any of our human movements, which +are so short-sighted? And twice during the season Elinor found means to +come to the cottage for a night as she had done at first. These were +occasions of great happiness, it need not be said--but of many thoughts +and wonderings too. She had always an excuse for Phil. He had meant +until the last moment to come with her--some one had turned up, quite +unexpectedly, who had prevented him. It was a fatality; especially when +she came down in July did she insist upon this. He had been invited +quite suddenly to a political dinner to meet one of the Ministers from +whom he had hopes of an appointment. "For we find that we can't go on +enjoying ourselves for ever," she said gayly, "and Phil has made up his +mind he must get something to do." + +"It is always the best way," said Mrs. Dennistoun. + +"I am not so very sure, mamma, when you have never been used to it. Of +course, some people would be wretched without work. Fancy John with +nothing to do! How he would torment his wife--if he had one. But Phil +never does that. He is very easy to live with. He is always after +something, and leaves me as free as if he had a day's work in an +office." + +This slipped out, with a smile: but evidently after it was said Elinor +regretted she had said it, and thought that more might be drawn from the +admission than she intended. She added quietly, "Of course a settled +occupation would interfere with many things. We could not go out +together continually as we do now." + +Was there any way of reconciling these two statements? Mrs. Dennistoun +tried and tried in vain to make them fit into each other: and yet no +doubt there was some way. + +"And perhaps another season, mother, if Phil was in a public office--it +seems so strange to think of Phil having an office--you might come up, +don't you think, to town for a time? Would it be a dreadful bore to you +to leave the country just when it is at its best? I'm afraid it would be +a dreadful bore: but we could run about together in the mornings when he +was busy, and go to see the pictures and things. How pleasant it would +be!" + +"It would be delightful for me, Elinor. I shouldn't mind giving up the +country, if it wouldn't interfere with your engagements, my dear." + +"Oh, my engagements! Much I should care for them if Phil was occupied. I +like, of course, to be with him." + +"Of course," said Mrs. Dennistoun. + +"And it is good for him, too, I think." This was another of the little +admissions that Elinor regretted the moment they were made. "I mean it's +a pity, isn't it, when a man likes to have his wife with him that she +shouldn't always be there, ready to go?" + +"A great pity," said Mrs. Dennistoun, and then she changed the subject. +"I thought it required all sorts of examinations and things for a man to +get into a public office now." + +"So it does for the ordinary grades, which would be far, far too much +routine for Phil. But they say a minister always has things in his +power. There are still posts----" + +"Sinecures, Elinor?" + +"I did not mean exactly sinecures," she said, with an embarrassed laugh, +"though I think those must have been fine things; but posts where it is +not merely routine, where a man may have a chance of acting for himself +and distinguishing himself, perhaps. And to be in the service of the +country is always better, safer, than that dreadful city. Don't you +think so?" + +"I have never thought the city dreadful, Elinor. I have had many friends +connected with the city." + +"Ah, but not in those horrid companies, mamma. Do you know that company +which we just escaped, which Phil saved my money out of, when it was all +but invested--I believe that has ruined people right and left. He got +out of it, fortunately, just before the smash; that is, of course, he +never had very much to do with it, he was only on the Board." + +"And where is your money now?" + +"Oh, I can answer that question this time," said Elinor, gayly. "He had +just time to get it into another company which pays--beautifully! The +Jew is in it, too, and the whole lot of them. Oh! I beg your pardon, +mamma. I tried hard to call her by her proper name, but when one never +hears any other, one can't help getting into it!" + +"I hope," said Mrs. Dennistoun, "that Philip was not much mixed up with +this company if other people have been ruined, and he has escaped?" + +"How could that be?" said Elinor, with a sort of tremulous dignity. "You +don't suppose for a moment that he----. But of course you don't," she +added with a heightened colour and a momentary cloud over her eyes, "of +course you don't. There was a dreadful manager who destroyed the books +and then fled, so that there never could be a right winding up of the +affairs." + +"I hope Philip will take great care never to have to do with anything of +the kind again." + +"Oh, no, he has promised me he will not. I will not have it. He has a +kind of ornamental directorship on this new company, just for the sake +of his name: but he has promised me he will have nothing more to do with +it for my peace of mind." + +"I wonder that they should care in the city for so small a matter as a +peer's younger son." + +"Oh, do you think it a small matter, mamma? I don't mean that I care, +but people give a good deal of weight to it, you know." + +"I meant only in the city, Elinor." + +"Oh!" Elinor said. She was half offended with her mother's indifference. +She had found that to be the Hon. Mrs. Compton was something, or so at +least she supposed: and she began timidly to give her mother a list of +her engagements, which were indeed many in number, and there were some +dazzling names among a great many with which Mrs. Dennistoun was +unacquainted. But how could she know who were the fashionable people +nowadays, a woman living so completely out of the world? + +John Tatham, for his part, went through his engagements that year with a +constant expectation of seeing Elinor, which preoccupied him more than a +rising young barrister going everywhere ought to have been preoccupied. +He thought he went everywhere, and so did his family at home, especially +his sister, Mary Tatham, who was his father's nurse and attendant, and +never had any chance of sharing these delights. She made all the more, +as was natural, of John's privileges and social success from the fact of +her own seclusion, and was in the habit of saying that she believed +there was scarcely a party in London to which John was not invited--three +or four in a night. But it would seem with all this that there were many +parties to which he was not invited, for the Phil Comptons (how strange +and on the whole disgusting to think that this now meant Elinor!) also +went everywhere, and yet they very seldom met. It was true that John +could not expect to meet them at dinner at a Judge's or in the legal +society in high places which was his especial sphere, and nothing could +be more foolish than the tremor of expectation with which this very +steady-going man would set out to every house in which the fashionable +world met with the professional, always thinking that perhaps----But it +was rarely, very rarely, that this perhaps came to pass. When it did it +was amid the crowd of some prodigious reception to which people "looked +in" for half an hour, and where on one occasion he found Elinor alone, +with that curious dignity about her, a little tragical, which comes of +neglect. He agreed with her mother, that he had never imagined Elinor's +youthful prettiness could have come to anything so near beauty. There +was a strained, wide open look in her eyes, which was half done by +looking out for some one, and half by defying any one to think that she +felt herself alone, or was pursuing that search with any anxiety. She +stood exceedingly erect, silent, observing everything, yet endeavouring +to appear as if she did not observe, altogether a singular and very +striking figure among the fashionable crowd, in which it seemed +everybody was chattering, smiling, gay or making believe to be gay, +except herself. When she saw John a sudden gleam of pleasure, followed +by a cloud of embarrassment, came over her face: but poor Elinor could +not help being glad to see some one she knew, some one who more or less +belonged to her; although it appeared she had the best of reasons for +being alone. "I was to meet Phil here," she said, "but somehow I must +have missed him." "Let us walk about a little, and we'll be sure to find +him," said John. She was so glad to take his arm, almost to cling to +him, to find herself with a friend. "I don't know many people here," +she confided to John, leaning on his arm, with the familiar sisterly +dependence of old, "and I am so stupid about coming out by myself. It is +because I have never been used to it. There has always been mamma, and +then Phil; but I suppose he has been detained somewhere to-night. I +think I never felt so lost before, among all these strange people. He +knows everybody, of course." + +"But you have a lot of friends, Elinor." + +"Oh, yes," she said, brightly enough; "in our own set: but this is what +Phil calls more serious than our set. I should not wonder in the least +if he had shirked it at the last, knowing I would be sure to come." + +"That is just the reason why I should have thought he would not shirk +it," said John. + +"Ah, that's because you're not married," said Elinor, but with a laugh +in which there was no bitterness. "Don't you know one good of a wife is +to do the man's social duties for him, to appear at the dull places and +save his credit? Oh, I don't object at all; it is quite a legitimate +division of labour. I shall get into it in time: but I am so stupid +about coming into a room alone, and instead of looking about to see what +people I really do know, I just stiffen into a sort of shell. I should +never have known you if you had not come up to me, John." + +"You see I was looking out for you, and you were not looking out for me, +that makes all the difference." + +"You were looking out for us!" + +"Ever since the season began I have been looking out for you, +everywhere," said John, with a rather fierce emphasis on the pronoun, +which, however, as everybody knows, is plural, and means two as much as +one, though it was the reverse of this that John Tatham meant to show. + +"Ah!" said Elinor. "But then I am afraid our set is different, John. +There will always be some places--like this, for instance--where I hope +we shall meet; but our set perhaps is a little frivolous, and your set a +little--serious, don't you see? You are professional and political, and +all that; and Phil is--well, I don't know exactly what Phil is--more +fashionable and frivolous, as I said. A race-going, ball-going, always +in motion set." + +"Most people," said John, "go more or less to races and balls." + +"More or less, that makes the whole difference. We go to them all. Now +you see the distinction, John. You go to Ascot perhaps on the cup day; +we go all the days and all the other days, at the other places." + +"How knowing you have become!" + +"Haven't I?" she said, with a smile that was half a sigh. + +"But I shouldn't have thought that would have suited you, Elinor." + +"Oh, yes, it does," she said, and then she eyed him with something of +the defiance that had been in her look when she was standing alone. She +did not avoid his look as a less brave woman might have done. "I like +the fun of it," she said. + +And then there was a pause, for he did not know what to reply. + +"We have been through all the rooms," she said at last, "and we have not +seen a ghost of Phil. He cannot be coming now. What o'clock is it? Oh, +just the time he will be due at---- I'm sure he can't come now. Do you +think you could get my carriage for me? It's only a brougham that we +hire," she said, with a smile, "but the man is such a nice, kind man. If +he had been an old family coachman he couldn't take more care of me." + +"That looks as if he had to take care of you often, Elinor." + +"Well," she said, looking him full in the face again, "you don't suppose +my husband goes out with me in the morning shopping? I hope he has +something better to do." + +"Shouldn't you like to have your mother with you for the shopping, +etc.?" + +"Ah, dearly!" then with a little quick change of manner, "another +time--not this season, but next, if I can persuade her to come; for next +year I hope we shall be more settled, perhaps in a house of our own, if +Phil gets the appointment he is after." + +"Oh, he is after an appointment?" + +"Yes, John; Phil is not so lucky as to have a profession like you." + +This was a new way of looking at the matter, and John Tatham found +nothing to say. It seemed to him, who had worked very hard for it, a +little droll to describe his possession of a profession as luck. But he +made no remark. He took Elinor down-stairs and found her brougham for +her, and the kind old coachman on the box, who was well used to taking +care of her, though only hired from the livery stables for the +season--John thought the old man looked suspiciously at him, and would +have stopped him from accompanying her, had he designed any such +proceeding. Poor little Nelly, to be watched over by the paternal +fly-man on the box! she who might have had---- but he stopped himself +there, though his heart felt as heavy as a stone to see her go away +thus, alone from the smart party where she had been doing duty for her +husband. John could not take upon himself to finish his sentence--she +who might have had love and care of a very different kind. No, he had +never offered her that love and care. Had Phil Compton never come in her +way it is possible that John Tatham might never have offered it to +her--not, at least, for a long time. He could never have had any right +to be a dog in the manger, neither would he venture to pretend now that +it was her own fault if she had chosen the wrong man; was it his fault +then, who had never put a better man within her choice? but John, who +was no coxcomb, blushed in the dark to himself as this question flitted +through his mind. He had no reason to suppose that Elinor would have +been willing to change the brotherly tie between them into any other. +Thank heaven for that brotherly tie! He would always be able to befriend +her, to stand by her, to help her as much as any one could help a woman +who was married, and thus outside of all ordinary succour. And as for +that blackguard, that _dis_-Honourable Phil---- But here John, who was a +man of just mind, paused again. For a man to let his wife go to a party +by herself was not after all so dreadful a thing. Many men did so, and +the women did not complain; to be sure they were generally older, more +accustomed to manage for themselves than Elinor: but still, a man need +not be a blackguard because he did that. So John stopped his own ready +judgment, but still I am afraid in his heart pronounced Phil Compton's +sentence all the same. He did not say a word about this encounter to +Mrs. Dennistoun; at least, he did tell her that he had met Elinor at the +So-and-So's, which, as it was one of the best houses in London, was +pleasing to a mother to hear. + +"And how was she looking?" Mrs. Dennistoun cried. + +"She was looking--beautiful----" said John. "I don't flatter, and I +never thought her so in the old times--but it is the only word I can +use----" + +"Didn't I tell you so?" said the mother, pleased. "She is quite +embellished and improved--therefore she must be happy." + +"It is certainly the very best evidence----" + +"Isn't it? But it so often happens otherwise, even in happy marriages. A +girl feels strange, awkward, out of it, in her new life. Elinor must +have entirely accustomed herself, adapted herself to it, and to them, or +she would not look so well. That is the greatest comfort I can have." + +And John kept his own counsel about Elinor's majestic solitude and the +watchful old coachman in the hired brougham. Her husband might still be +full of love and tenderness all the same. It was a great effort of the +natural integrity of his character to pronounce like this; but he did it +in the interests of justice, and for Elinor's sake and her mother's said +nothing of the circumstances at all. + +It may be supposed that when Elinor paid the last of her sudden visits +at the cottage it was a heavy moment both for mother and daughter. It +was the time when fashionable people finish the season by going to +Goodwood--and to Goodwood Elinor was going with a party, Lady Mariamne +and a number of the "set." She told her mother, to amuse her, of the new +dresses she had got for this important occasion. "Phil says one may go +in sackcloth and ashes the remainder of the year, but we must be fine +for Goodwood," she said. "I wanted him to believe that I had too many +clothes already, but he was inexorable. It is not often, is it, that +one's husband is more anxious than one's self about one's dress?" + +"He wants you to do him credit, Elinor." + +"Well, mamma, there is no harm in that. But more than that--he wants me +to look nice, for myself. He thinks me still a little shy--though I +never was shy, was I?--and he thinks nothing gives you courage like +feeling yourself well dressed--but he takes the greatest interest in +everything I wear." + +"And where do you go after Goodwood, Elinor?" + +"Oh, mamma, on such a round of visits!--here and there and everywhere. I +don't know," and the tears sprang into Elinor's eyes, "when I may see +you again." + +"You are not coming back to London," said the mother, with the heart +sinking in her breast. + +"Not now--they all say London is insupportable--it is one of the things +that everybody says, and I believe that Phil will not set foot in it +again for many months. Perhaps I might get a moment, when he is +shooting, or something, to run back to you; but it is a long way from +Scotland--and he must be there, you know, for the 12th. He would think +the world was coming to an end if he did not get a shot at the grouse +on that day." + +"But I thought he was looking for an appointment, Elinor?" + +A cloud passed over Elinor's face. "The season is over," she said, "and +all the opportunities are exhausted--and we don't speak of that any +more." + +She gave her mother a very close hug at the railway, and sat with her +head partly out of the window watching her as she stood on the platform, +until the train turned round the corner. No relief on her dear face now, +but an anxious strain in her eyes to see her mother as long as possible. +Mrs. Dennistoun, as she walked again slowly up the hills that the pony +might not suffer, said to herself, with a chill at her heart, that she +would rather have seen her child sinking back in the corner, pleased +that it was over, as on the first day. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + + +The next winter was more dreary still and solitary than the first at +Windyhill. The first had been, though it looked so long and dreary as it +passed, full of hope of the coming summer, which must, it seemed, bring +Elinor back. But now Mrs. Dennistoun knew exactly what Elinor's coming +back meant, and the prospect was less cheering. Three days in the whole +long season--three little escapades, giving so very little hope of more +sustained intercourse to come. Mrs. Dennistoun, going over all the +circumstances--she had so little else to do but to go over them in her +long solitary evenings--came to the conclusion that whatever might +happen, she herself would go to town when summer came again. She amused +herself with thinking how she would find a little house--quite a small +house, as there are so many--in a good situation, where even the most +fashionable need not be ashamed to come, and where there would be room +enough for Elinor and her husband if they chose to establish themselves +there. Mrs. Dennistoun was of opinion, already expressed, that if +mothers-in-law are obnoxious to men, sons-in-law are very frequently so +to women, which is a point of view not popularly perceived. And Philip +Compton was not sympathetic to her in any point of view. But still she +made up her mind to endure him, and even his family, for the sake of +Elinor. She planned it all out--it gave a little occupation to the +vacant time--how they should have their separate rooms and even meals if +that turned out most convenient; how she would interfere with none of +their ways: only to have her Elinor under her roof, to have her when the +husband was occupied--in the evenings, if there were any evenings that +she spent alone; in the mornings, when perhaps Phil got up late, or had +engagements of his own; for the moment's freedom when her child should +be free. She made up her mind that she would ask no questions, would +never interfere with any of their habits, or oppose or put herself +between them--only just to have a little of Elinor every day. + +"For it will not be the same thing this year," she said to John, +apologetically. "They have quite settled down into each other's ways. +Philip must see I have no intention of interfering. For the most +obdurate opponent of mothers-in-law could not think--could he, +John?--that I had any desire to put myself between them, or make myself +troublesome now." + +"There is no telling," said John, "what such asses might think." + +"But Philip is not an ass; and don't you think I have behaved very well, +and may give myself this indulgence the second year?" + +"I certainly think you will be quite right to come to town: but I should +not have them to live with you, if I were you." + +"Shouldn't you? It might be a risk: but then I shouldn't do it unless +there was room enough to leave them quite free. The thing I am afraid of +is that they wouldn't accept." + +"Oh, Phil Compton will accept," said John, hurriedly. + +"Why are you so sure? I think often you know more about him than you +ever say." + +"I don't know much about him, but I know that a man of uncertain income +and not very delicate feelings is generally glad enough to have the +expenses of the season taken off him: and even get all the more pleasure +out of it when he has his living free." + +"That's not a very elevated view to take of the transaction, John." + +"My dear aunt, I did not think you expected anything very elevated from +the Comptons. They are not the sort of family from which one +expects----" + +"And yet it is the family that my Elinor belongs to: she is a Compton." + +"I did not think of that," said John, a little disconcerted. Then he +added, "There is no very elevated standard in such matters. Want of +money has no law: and of course there are better things involved, for he +might be very glad that Elinor should have her mother to go out with +her, to stand by when--a man might have other engagements." + +Mrs. Dennistoun looked at him closely and shook her head. She was not +very much reassured by this view of the case. "At all events I shall try +it," she said. + +Quite early in the year, when she was expecting no such pleasure, she +was rewarded for her patience by another flying visit from her child, +who this time telegraphed to say she was coming, so that her mother +could go and meet her at the station, and thus lose no moment of her +visit. Elinor, however, was not in good spirits on this occasion, nor +was she in good looks. She told her mother hurriedly that Phil had come +up upon business; that he was very much engaged with the new company, +getting far more into it than satisfied her. "I am terrified that +another catastrophe may come, and that he might share the blame if +things were to go wrong"--which was by no means a good preface for the +mission with which it afterwards appeared Elinor herself was charged. + +"Phil told me to say to you, mamma, that if you were not satisfied with +any of your investments, he could help you to a good six or seven per +cent.----" + +She said this with her head turned away, gazing out of the window, +contemplating the wintry aspect of the combe with a countenance as +cloudy and as little cheerful as itself. + +There was an outcry on Mrs. Dennistoun's lips, but fortunately her +sympathy with her child was so strong that she felt Elinor's sentiments +almost more forcibly than her own, and she managed to answer in a quiet, +untroubled voice. + +"Philip is very kind, my dear: but you know my investments are all +settled for me and I have no will of my own. I get less interest, but +then I have less responsibility. Don't you know I belong to the time in +which women were not supposed to be good for anything, and consequently +I am in the hands of my trustees." + +"I think he foresaw that, mother," said Elinor, still with her head +averted and her eyes far away; "but he thought you might represent to +the trustees that not only would it give you more money, but it would be +better in the end for me. Oh, how I hate to have to say this to you, +mamma!" + +How steadily Mrs. Dennistoun kept her countenance, though her daughter +now flung herself upon her shoulder with uncontrollable tears! + +"My darling, it is quite natural you should say it. You must tell Philip +that I fear I am powerless. I will try, but I don't think anything will +come of it. I have been glad to be free of responsibility, and I have +never attempted to interfere." + +"Mother, I am so thankful. I oughtn't to go against him, ought I? But I +would not have you take his advice. It is so dreadful not to appear----" + +"My dear, you must try to think that he understands better than you do: +men generally do: you are only a girl, and they are trained more or less +to business." + +"Not Phil! not Phil!" + +"Well, he must have some capacity for it, some understanding, or they +would not want him on those boards; and you cannot have, Elinor, for you +know nothing about it. To hear you speak of per cents. makes me laugh." +It was a somewhat forlorn kind of laugh, yet the mother executed it +finely: and by and by the subject dropped, and Elinor was turned to talk +of other things--other things of which there was a great deal to say, +and over which they cried and laughed together as nature bade. + +In the same evening, the precious evening of which she did not like to +waste a moment, Mrs. Dennistoun unfolded her plan for the season. "I +feel that I know exactly the kind of house I want; it will probably be +in some quiet insignificant place, a Chapel Street, or a Queen Street, +or a Park Street somewhere, but in a good situation. You shall have the +first floor all to yourself to receive your visitors, and if you think +that Philip would prefer a separate table----" + +"Oh, mamma, mamma!" cried Elinor, clinging to her, kissing passionately +her mother's cheek, which was still as soft as a child's. + +"It is not anything you have told me now that has put this into my head, +my darling. I had made it all up in my own mind. Then, you know, when +your husband is engaged with those business affairs--in the city--or +with his own friends--you would have your mother to fall back upon, +Elinor. I should have just the _moments perdus_, don't you see, when you +were doing nothing else, when you were wanted for nothing else. I +promise you, my darling, I should never be _de trop_, and would never +interfere." + +"Oh, mamma, mamma!" Elinor cried again as if words failed her; and so +they did, for she said scarcely anything more, and evaded any answer. It +went to her mother's heart, yet she made her usual excuses for it. Poor +child, once so ready to decide, accepting or rejecting with the +certainty that no opposition would be made to her will, but now afraid +to commit herself, to say anything that her husband would not approve! +Well! Mrs. Dennistoun said to herself, many a young wife is like that, +and yet is happy enough. It depends so much on the man. Many a man +adores his wife and is very good to her, and yet cannot bear that she +should seem to settle anything without consulting his whim. And Philip +Compton had never been what might be called an easy-going man. It was +right of Elinor to give no answer till she knew what he would like. The +dreadful thing was that she expressed no pleasure in her mother's +proposal, scarcely looked as if she herself would like it, which was a +thing which did give an unquestionable wound. + +"Mamma," she said, as they were driving to the station, not in the pony +carriage this time, but in the fly, for the weather was bad, "don't be +vexed that I don't say more about your wonderful, your more than kind +offer." + +"Kind is scarcely a word to use, Elinor, between you and me." + +"I know, I know, mamma--and I as good as refuse it, saying nothing. Oh, +if I could tell you without telling you! I am so frightened--how can I +say it?--that you should see things you would not approve!" + +"My dear, I am of one generation and you are of another. I am an old +woman, and your husband is a young man. But what does that matter? We +can agree to differ. I will never thrust myself into his private +affairs, and he----" + +"Oh, mother, mother darling, it is not that," Elinor said. And she +went away without any decision. But in a few days there came to Mrs. +Dennistoun a letter from Philip himself, most nobly expressed, saying +that Elinor had told him of her mother's kind offer, and that he +hastened to accept it with the utmost gratitude and devotion. He had +just been wondering, he wrote, how he was to muster all things necessary +for Elinor, with the business engagements which were growing upon +himself. Nobody could understand better than Nell's good mother how +necessary it was that he should neglect no means of securing their +position, and he had found that often he would have to leave his darling +by herself: but this magnificent, this magnanimous offer on her part +would make everything right. Need he say how gratefully he accepted it? +Nell and he being on the spot would immediately begin looking out for +the house, and when they had a list of three or four to look at he hoped +she would come up to their rooms and select what she liked best. This +response took away Mrs. Dennistoun's breath, for, to tell the truth, she +had her own notions as to the house she wanted and as to the time to be +spent in town, and would certainly have preferred to manage everything +herself. But in this she had to yield, with thankfulness that in the +main point she was to have her way. + +Did she have her way? It is very much to be doubted whether in such a +situation of affairs it would have been possible. The house that was +decided upon was not one which she would have chosen for herself, +neither would she have taken it from Easter to July. She had meant a +less expensive place and a shorter season; but after all, what did that +matter for once if it pleased Elinor? The worst of it was that she could +not at all satisfy herself that it pleased Elinor. It pleased Philip, +there was no doubt, but then it had not been intended except in a very +secondary way to please him. And when the racket of the season began +Mrs. Dennistoun had a good deal to bear. Philip, though he was supposed +to be a man of business and employed in the city, got up about noon, +which was dreadful to all her orderly country habits; the whole afternoon +through there was a perpetual tumult of visitors, who, when by chance +she encountered them in the hall or on the stairs, looked at her +superciliously as if she were the landlady. The man who opened the door, +and brushed Philip Compton's clothes, and was in his service, looked +superciliously at her too, and declined to have anything to say to "the +visitors for down-stairs." A noise of laughter and loud talk was +(distinctly) in her ears from noon till late at night. When Philip came +home, always much later than his wife, he was in the habit of bringing +men with him, whose voices rang through the house after everybody was +in bed. To be sure, there were compensations. She had Elinor often for +an hour or two in the morning before her husband was up. She had her in +the evenings when they were not going out, but these were few. As for +Philip, he never dined at home. When he had no engagements he dined at +his club, leaving Elinor with her mother. He gave Mrs. Dennistoun very +little of his company, and when they did meet there was in his manner +too a sort of reflection of the superciliousness of the "smart" visitors +and the "smart" servant. She was to him, too, in some degree the +landlady, the old lady down-stairs. Elinor, as was natural, redoubled +her demonstrations of affection, her excuses and sweet words to make up +for this neglect: but all the time there was in her mother's mind that +dreadful doubt which assails us when we have committed ourselves to one +act or another, "Was it wise? Would it not have been better to have +denied herself and stayed away?" So far as self-denial went, it was more +exercised in Curzon Street than it would have been at the Cottage. For +she had to see many things that displeased her and to say no word; to +guess at the tears, carefully washed away from Elinor's eyes, and to ask +no questions, and to see what she could not but feel was the violent +career downward, the rush that must lead to a catastrophe, but make no +sign. There was one evening when Elinor, not looking well or feeling +well, had stayed at home, Philip having a whole long list of engagements +in hand; men's engagements, his wife explained, a stockbroking dinner, +an adjournment to somebody's chambers, a prolonged sitting, which meant +play, and a great deal of wine, and other attendant circumstances into +which she did not enter. Elinor had no engagement for that night, and +was free to be petted and fêted by her mother. She was put at her ease +in a soft and rich dressing-gown, and the prettiest little dinner +served, and the room filled with flowers, and everything done that used +to be done when she was recovering from some little mock illness, some +child's malady, just enough to show how dear above everything was the +child to the mother, and with what tender ingenuity the mother could +invent new delights for the child. These delights, alas! did not +transport Elinor now as they once had done, and yet the repose was +sweet, and the comfort of this nearest and dearest friend to lean upon +something more than words could say. + +On this evening, however, in the quiet of those still hours, poor +Elinor's heart was opened, or rather her mouth, which on most occasions +was closed so firmly. She said suddenly, in the midst of something quite +different, "Oh, I wish Phil was not so much engaged with those dreadful +city men." + +"My dear!" said Mrs. Dennistoun, who was thinking of far other things; +and then she said, "there surely cannot be much to fear in that respect. +He is never in the city--he is never up, my dear, when the city men are +doing their work." + +"Ah," said Elinor, "I don't think that matters; he is in with them all +the same." + +"Well, Elinor, there is no reason that there should be any harm in it. I +would much rather he had some real business in hand than be merely a +butterfly of fashion. You must not entertain that horror of city men." + +"The kind he knows are different from the kind you know, mamma." + +"I suppose everything is different from what it was in my time: but it +need not be any worse for that----" + +"Oh, mother! you are obstinate in thinking well of everything; but +sometimes I am so frightened, I feel as if I must do something dreadful +myself--to precipitate the ruin which nothing I can do will stop----" + +"Elinor, Elinor, this is far too strong language----" + +"Mamma, he wants me to speak to you again. He wants you to give your +money----" + +"But I have told you already I cannot give it, Elinor." + +"Heaven be praised for that! But he will speak to you himself, he will +perhaps try to--bully you, mamma." + +"Elinor!" + +"It is horrible, what I say; yes, it is horrible, but I want to warn +you. He says things----" + +"Nothing that he can say will make me forget that he is your husband, +Elinor." + +"Ah, but don't think too much of that, mamma. Think that he doesn't know +what he is doing--poor Phil, oh, poor Phil! He is hurried on by these +people; and then it will break up, and the poor people will be ruined, +and they will upbraid him, and yet he will not be a whit the better. He +does not get any of the profit. I can see it all as clear---- And there +are so many other things." + +Mrs. Dennistoun's heart sank in her breast, for she too knew what were +the other things. "We must have patience," she said; "he is in his +hey-day, full of--high spirits, and thinking everything he touches must +go right. He will steady down in time." + +"Oh, I am not complaining," cried Elinor, hurriedly dashing her tears +away; "if you were not a dreadfully good mamma, if you would grumble +sometimes and find fault, that I might defend him! It is the sight of +you there, seeing everything and not saying a word that is too much for +me." + +"Then I will grumble, Elinor. I will even say something to him for our +own credit. He should not come in so late--at least when he comes in he +should come in to rest and not bring men with him to make a noise. You +see I can find fault as much as heart could desire. I am dreadfully +selfish. I don't mind when he goes out now and then without you, for +then I have you; but he should not bring noisy men with him to disturb +the house in the middle of the night. I think I will speak to him----" + +"No," said Elinor, with a clutch upon her mother's arm; "no, don't do +that. He does not like to be found fault with. Unless in the case--if +you were giving him that money, mother." + +"Which I cannot do: and Elinor, my darling, which I would not do if I +could. It is all you will have to rely upon, you and----" + +"It would have been the only chance," said Elinor. "I don't say it would +have been much of a chance. But he might have listened, if---- Oh, no, +dear mother, no. I would not in my sober senses wish that you should +give him a penny. It would do no good, but only harm. And yet if you had +done it, you might have said---- and he might have listened to you for +once----" + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + + +A few days after this Philip Compton came in, in the afternoon, to the +little room down-stairs which Mrs. Dennistoun had made into a +sitting-room for herself. Elinor had gone out with her sister-in-law, +and her mother was alone. It was a very rare thing indeed for Mrs. +Dennistoun's guest--who, indeed, was to all intents and purposes the +master of the house, and had probably quite forgotten by this time that +he was not in reality so--to pay a visit "down-stairs." "Down-stairs" +had a distinct meaning in the Compton vocabulary. It was spoken of with +significance, and with a laugh, as something half hostile, half +ridiculous. It meant a sort of absurd criticism and inspection, +as of some old crone sitting vigilant, spying upon everything--a +mother-in-law. Phil's cronies thought it was the most absurd weakness on +his part to let such an intruder get footing in his house. "You will +never get rid of her," they said. And Phil, though he was generally +quite civil to his wife's mother (being actually and at his heart more a +gentleman than he had the least idea he was), did not certainly in any +way seek her society. He scarcely ever dined at home, as has been said; +when he had not an engagement--and he had a great many engagements--he +found that he was obliged to dine at his club on the evenings when he +might have been free; and as this was the only meal which was supposed +to be common, it may be perceived that Phil had little means of meeting +his mother-in-law; and that he should come to see her of his own free +will was unprecedented. Phil Compton had not improved since his +marriage. His nocturnal enjoyments, the noisy parties up-stairs in the +middle of the night, had not helped to dissipate the effect of the +anxieties of the city, which his wife so deplored. Mrs. Dennistoun that +very day, when she came down-stairs in the fresh summer morning to her +early breakfast, had seen through an open door the room up-stairs which +was appropriated to Phil, with a lamp still burning in the daylight, +cards lying strewn about the floor, and all in that direful disorder +which a room so occupied overnight shows in the clear eye of the day. +The aspect of the room had given her a shock almost more startling than +any moral certainty, as was natural to a woman used to all the decorums +and delicacies of a well-ordered life. There is no sin in going late to +bed, or even letting a lamp burn into the day; but the impression that +such a sight makes even upon the careless is always greater than any +mere apprehension by the mind of the midnight sitting, the eager game, +the chances of loss and ruin. She had not been able to get that sight +out of her eyes. Though on ordinary occasions she never entered Phil's +rooms, on this she had stolen in to put out the lamp, with the sensation +in her mind of destroying some evidence against him, which someone less +interested than she might have used to his disadvantage. And she had +sent up the housemaid to "do" the room, with an admonition. "I cannot +have Mr. Compton's rooms neglected," she said. "The gentlemen is always +so late," the housemaid said in self-defence. "I hears them let +themselves out sometimes after we're all up down-stairs." "I don't want +to hear anything about the gentlemen. Do your work at the proper time; +that is all that is asked of you." Phil's servant appeared at the moment +pulling on his coat, with the air of a man who has been up half the +night--which, indeed, was the case, for "the gentlemen" when they came +in had various wants that had to be supplied. "What's up now?" he said +to the housemaid, within hearing of her mistress, casting an insolent +look at the old lady, who belonged to "down-stairs." "She've been prying +and spying about like they all do----" Mrs. Dennistoun had retreated +within the shelter of her room to escape the end of this sentence, which +still she heard, with the usual quickness of our faculties in such +cases. She swallowed her simple breakfast with what appetite she might, +and her stout spirit for the moment broke down before this insult which +was ridiculous, she said to herself, from a saucy servant-man. What did +it matter to her what Johnson did or said? But it was like the lamp +burning in the sunshine: it gave a moral shock more sharp than many a +thing of much more importance would have been capable of doing, and she +had not been able to get over it all day. + +It may be supposed, therefore, that it was an unfortunate moment for +Phil Compton's visit. Mrs. Dennistoun had scarcely seen them that day, +and she was sitting by herself, somewhat sick at heart, wondering if +anything would break the routine into which their life was falling; or +if this was what Elinor must address herself to as its usual tenor. It +would be better in the country, she said to herself. It was only in the +bustle of the season, when everybody of his kind was congregated in +town, that it would be like this. In their rounds of visits, or when the +whole day was occupied with sport, such nocturnal sittings would be +impossible--and she comforted herself by thinking that they would not be +consistent with any serious business in the city such as Elinor feared. +The one danger must push away the other. He could not gamble at night in +that way, and gamble in the other among the stockbrokers. They were both +ruinous, no doubt, but they could not both be carried on at the same +time--or so, at least, this innocent woman thought. There was enough to +be anxious and alarmed about without taking two impossible dangers into +her mind together. + +And just then Phil knocked at her door. He came in smiling and gracious, +and with that look of high breeding and _savoir faire_ which had +conciliated her before and which she felt the influence of now, although +she was aware how many drawbacks there were, and knew that the respect +which her son-in-law showed was far from genuine. "I never see you to +have a chat," he said; "I thought I would take the opportunity to-day, +when Elinor was out. I want you to tell me how you think she is." + +"I think she is wonderfully well," said Mrs. Dennistoun. + +"_Wonderfully_ well--you mean considering--that there is too much racket +in her life?" + +"Partly, I mean that--but, indeed, I meant it without condition; she is +wonderfully well. I am surprised, often----" + +"It is rather a racket of a life," said Phil. + +"Too much, indeed--it is too much--for a woman who is beginning her +serious life--but if you think that, it is a great thing gained, for you +can put a stop to it, or moderate--'the pace' don't you call it?" she +said, with a smile. + +"Well, yes. I suppose we could moderate the pace--but that would mean a +great deal for me. You see, when a man's launched it isn't always so +easy to stop. Nell, of course, if you thought she wanted it--might go to +the country with you." + +Mrs. Dennistoun's heart gave a leap. "Might go to the country with you!" +It seemed a glimpse of Paradise that burst upon her. But then she shook +her head. "You know Elinor would not leave you, Philip." + +"Well! she has a ridiculous partiality," he said, with a laugh, "though, +of course, I'd make her--if it was really for her advantage," he added, +after a moment; "you don't think I'd let that stand in her way." + +"In the meantime," said Mrs. Dennistoun, with hesitation, "without +proceeding to any such stringent measures--if you could manage to be a +little less late at night." + +"Oh, you listen for my coming in at night?" + +His face took a sombre look, as if a cloud had come over it. + +"I do not listen--for happily for me I have been asleep for hours. I +generally jump up thinking the house is on fire at the sound of voices, +which make listening quite unnecessary, Philip." + +"Ah, yes, the fellows are rather noisy," he said, carelessly, "but Nell +sleeps like a top, and pays no attention--which is the best thing she +can do." + +"I would not be too sure she slept like a top." + +"It's true; women are all hypocrites alike. You never know when you have +them," Phil said. + +And then there was a pause; for she feared to say anything more lest she +should go too far; and he for once in his life was embarrassed, and did +not know how to begin what he had to say. + +"Well," he said, quickly, getting up, "I must be going. I have business +in the city. And now that I find you're satisfied about Nell's +health---- By the way, you never show in our rooms; though Nell spends +every minute she has to spare here." + +"I am a little old perhaps for your friends, Philip, and the room is not +too large." + +"Well, no," he said, "they are wretched little rooms. Good-by, then; I'm +glad you think Nell is all right." + +Was this all he meant to say? There was, however, an uncertainty about +his step, and by the time he had opened the door he came to a pause, +half closed it again, and said, "Oh, by the bye!" + +"What is it?" said Mrs. Dennistoun. + +He closed the door again and came back half a step. "I almost forgot, I +meant to tell you: if you have any money to invest, I could help you +to---- The best thing I've heard of for many a day!" + +"You are very kind, Philip; but you know everything I have is in the +hands of trustees." + +"Oh, bother trustees. The only thing they do is to keep your dividends +down to the lowest amount possible and cut short your income. Come, +you're quite old enough to judge for yourself. You might give them a +jog. At your time of life they ought to take a hint from you." + +"I have never done it, Philip, and they would pay no attention to me." + +"Oh, nonsense, mamma. Why, except you, who has a right to be consulted +except Nell? and if I, her husband, am your adviser----" + +"I know they would do nothing but mock at me." + +"Rubbish! I'd like to see who would mock at you. Just you send them to +me, that is all." + +"Philip, will you not believe me when I say that it is impossible? I +have never interfered. They would ask what made me think of such a thing +now." + +"And you could tell them a jolly good opportunity, as safe as the bank, +and paying six or seven per cent.--none of your fabulous risky ten or +twelve businesses, but a solid steady---- How could it be to my interest +to mislead you? It would be Nell who would be the loser. I should be +simply cutting off my own head." + +"That is true, no doubt----" + +"And," he said, scarcely waiting for her reply, "Nell is really the +person who should be consulted: for if there was loss eventually it +would come upon her--and so upon me. I mean taking into consideration +all the chances of the future: for it is perfectly safe for your time, +you may be quite sure of that." + +No one, though he might be ninety, likes to have his time limited, and +his heir's prospects dwelt upon as the only things of any importance, +and Mrs. Dennistoun was a very long way from ninety. She would have +sacrificed everything she had to make her child happy, but she did not +like, all the same, to be set down as unimportant so far as her own +property was concerned. + +"I am afraid," she said, with a slight quaver in her voice, "that my +trustees would not take Elinor's wishes into consideration in the first +place, nor yours either, Philip. They think of me, and I suppose that is +really their duty. If I had anything of my own----" + +"Do you mean to say," he said, bluntly, "that with a good income and +living in the country in a hole, in the most obscure way, you have +saved nothing all these years?" + +"If I had," said Mrs. Dennistoun, roused by his persistent attack, "I +should be very sorry to fling it away." + +"Oh, that is what you think?" he said. "Now we're at the bottom of it. +You think that to put it in my hands would be to throw it away! I +thought there must be something at the bottom of all this pretty +ignorance of business and so forth. Good gracious! that may be well +enough for a girl; but when a grandmother pretends not to know, not to +interfere, etc., that's too much. So this is what you meant all the +time! To put it into my hands would be throwing it away!" + +"I did not mean to say so, Philip--I spoke hastily, but I must remind +you that I am not accustomed to this tone----" + +"Oh, no, not at all accustomed to it, you all say that--that's Nell's +dodge--never was used to anything of the kind, never had a rough word +said to her, and so forth and so forth." + +"Philip--I hope you don't say rough words to my Elinor." + +"Oh!" he said, "I have got you there, have I. _Your_ Elinor--no more +yours than she is--Johnson's. She is my Nell, and what's more, she'll +cling to me, whatever rough words I may say, or however you may coax or +wheedle. Do you ever think when you refuse to make a sacrifice of one +scrap of your hoards for her, that if I were not a husband in a hundred +I might take it out of her and make her pay?" + +"For what?" said Mrs. Dennistoun, standing up and confronting him, her +face pale, her head very erect--"for what would you make her pay?" + +He stood staring at her for a moment and then he broke out into a laugh. +"We needn't face each other as if we were going to have a stand-up +fight," he said. "And it wouldn't be fair, mamma, we're not equally +matched, the knowing ones would all lay their money on you. So you won't +take my advice about investing your spare cash? Well, if you won't you +won't, and there's an end of it: only stand up fair and don't bother me +with nonsense about trustees." + +"It is no nonsense," she said. + +His eyes flashed, but he controlled himself and turned away, waving his +hand. "I'll not beat Nell for it when I come home to-night," he said. + +Once more Phil dined at his club that evening and Elinor with her +mother. She was in an eager and excited state, looking anxiously in Mrs. +Dennistoun's eyes, but it was not till late in the evening that she made +any remark. At last, just before they parted for the night, she threw +herself upon her mother with a little cry--"Oh, mamma, I know you are +right, I know you are quite right. But if you could have done it, it +would have given you an influence! I don't blame you--not for a +moment--but it might have given you an opening to speak. It might +have--given you a little hold on him." + +"My darling, my darling!" said Mrs. Dennistoun. + +"No," said Elinor, "there's nothing to pity me about, nothing at +all--Phil is always kind and good to me--but you would have had a +standing ground. It might have given you a right to speak--about those +dreadful, dreadful city complications, mamma." + +Mrs. Dennistoun went to bed that night a troubled woman, and lay awake +watching and expecting when the usual midnight tumult should arise. But +that evening there was none. No sound but the key in the latch, the +shutting of a door or two, and all quiet. Compunctions filled the +mother's heart. What was the wrong if, perhaps, she could satisfy +Elinor, perhaps get at the heart of Phil, who had a heart, though it +was getting strangled in all those intricacies of gambling and wretched +business. She turned over and over in her mind all that she had, and all +that she had any power over. And she remembered a small sum she had in a +mortgage, which was after all in her own power. No doubt it would be to +throw the money away, which would be so much gone from the future +provision of Elinor--but if by that means she could acquire an influence +as Elinor said--be allowed to speak--to protest or perhaps even insist +upon a change of course? Thinking over such a question for a whole +sleepless night, and feeling beneath all that at least, at worst, this +sacrifice would give pleasure to Elinor, which was really the one and +sole motive, the only thing that could give her any warrant for such a +proceeding--is not a process which is likely to strengthen the mind. In +the morning, as soon as she knew he was up, which was not till late +enough, she sent to ask if Phil would give her five minutes before he +went out. He appeared after a while, extremely correct and _point +device_, grave but polite. "I must ask you to excuse me," he said, "if I +am hurried, for to-day is one of my Board days." + +"It was only to say, Philip--you spoke to me yesterday of money--to be +invested." + +"Yes?" he said politely, without moving a muscle. + +"I have been thinking it all over, and I remember that there is a +thousand pounds or two which John Tatham placed for me in a mortgage, +and which is in my own power." + +"Ah!" he said, "a thousand pounds or two," with a shrug of his +shoulders; "it is scarcely worth while, is it, changing an investment +for so small a matter as a thousand pounds?" + +"If you think so, Philip--it is all I can think of that is in my own +power." + +"It is really not worth the trouble," he said, "and I am in a hurry." He +made a step towards the door and then turned round again. "Well," he +said, "just to show there is no ill-feeling, I'll find you something, +perhaps, to put your tuppenceha'penny in to-day." + +And then there was John Tatham to face after that! + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + + +It cost Mrs. Dennistoun a struggle to yield to her daughter and her +daughter's husband, and with her eyes open and no delusion on the +subject to throw away her two thousand pounds. Two thousand pounds is a +big thing to throw away. There are many people much richer than Mrs. +Dennistoun who would have thought it a wicked thing to do, and some who +would have quarrelled with both daughter and son-in-law rather than do +so foolish a thing. For it was not merely making a present, so to speak, +of the money, it was throwing it away. To have given it to Elinor would +have been nothing, it would have been a pleasure; but in Phil's +investment Mrs. Dennistoun had no confidence. It was throwing her money +after Elinor's money into that hungry sea which swallows up everything +and gives nothing again. + +But if that had been difficult for her, it may be imagined with what +feelings she contemplated her necessary meeting with John Tatham. She +knew everything he would say--more, she knew what he would look: his +astonishment, his indignation, the amazement with which he would regard +it. John was far from being incapable of a sacrifice. Mrs. Dennistoun, +indeed, did him more than justice in that respect, for she believed that +he had himself been on the eve of asking Elinor to marry him when she +was snatched up by, oh, so much less satisfactory a man! which the +reader knows is not quite the case, though perhaps it required quite as +much self-denial on John's part to stand by Elinor and maintain her +cause under her altered circumstances as if it had been the case. But +notwithstanding this, she knew that John would be angry with what she +had done or promised to do, and would put every possible impediment in +her way: and when she sent for him, in order that she might carry out +her promise, it was with a heart as sick with fright and as much +disturbed by the idea of a scolding as ever child's was. + +John had been very little to the house at Curzon Street. He had dined +two or three times with Mrs. Dennistoun alone, and once or twice Elinor +had been of the party; but the Comptons had never any guests at that +house, and the fact already mentioned that Philip Compton never dined at +home made it a difficult matter for Mrs. Dennistoun to ask any but her +oldest friends to the curious little divided house, which was neither +hers nor theirs. Thus Cousin John had met, but no more, Elinor's +husband, and neither of the gentlemen had shown the least desire to +cultivate the acquaintance. John had not expressed his sentiments +on the subject to any one, but Phil, as was natural, had been more +demonstrative. "I don't think much of your relations, Nell," he said, +"if that's a specimen: a prig if ever there was one--and that old sheep +that was at the wedding, the father of him, I suppose----" + +"As they are my relations, Phil, you might speak of them a little more +respectfully." + +"Oh, respectfully! Bless us all! I have no respect for my own, and why I +should have for yours, my little dear, I confess I can't see. Oh, by the +way, this is Cousin John, who I used to think by your blushing and all +that----" + +"Phil, I think you are trying to make me angry. Cousin John is the best +man in the world; but I never blushed--how ridiculous! I might as well +have blushed to speak of my brother." + +"I put no confidence in brothers, unless they're real ones," said Phil; +"but I'm glad I've seen him, Nell. I doubt after all that you're such a +fool, when you see us together--eh?" He laughed that laugh of conscious +superiority which, when it is not perfectly well-founded, sounds so +fatuous to the hearer. Elinor did not look at him. She turned her head +away and made no reply. + +John, on his part, as has been said, made no remark. If he had possessed +a wife at home to whom he could have confided his sentiments, as Phil +Compton had, it is possible that he might have said something not +unsimilar. But then had he had a wife at home he would have been more +indifferent to Phil, and might not have cared to criticise him at all. + +Mrs. Dennistoun received him when he came in obedience to her call, as a +child might do who had the power of receiving its future corrector. She +abased herself before him, servilely choosing his favourite subjects, +talking of what she thought would please him, of former times at the +Cottage, of Elinor, and her great affection for Cousin John, and so +forth. I imagine that he had a suspicion of the cause of all this +sweetness. He looked at her suspiciously, though he allowed himself to +be drawn into reminiscences, and to feel a half pleasure, half pain in +the affectionate things that Elinor had said. At length, after some time +had passed, he asked, in a pause of the conversation, "Was this all you +wanted with me, aunt, to talk of old times?" + +"Wasn't it a good enough pretext for the pleasure of seeing you, John?" + +He laughed a little and shook his head. + +"An excellent pretext where none was wanted. It is very kind of you to +think it a pleasure: but you had something also to say?" + +"It seems there is no deceiving you, John," she said, and with many +hesitations and much difficulty, told him her story. She saw him begin +to flame. She saw his eyes light up, and Mrs. Dennistoun shook in her +chair. She was not a woman apt to be afraid, but she was frightened now. + +Nevertheless, when she had finished her story, John at first spoke no +word: and when he did find a tongue it was only to say, + +"You want to get back the money you have on that mortgage. My dear aunt, +why did not you tell me so at once?" + +"But I have just told you, John." + +"Well, so be it. You know it will take a little time; there are some +formalities that must be gone through. You cannot make a demand on +people in that way to pay you cash at once." + +"Oh, I thought it was so easy to get money--on such very good security +and paying such a good adequate rate of interest." + +"It is easy," he said, "perfectly easy; but it wants a little time: and +people will naturally wonder, if it is really good security and good +interest, why you should be in such a hurry to get out of it." + +"But surely, to say private reasons--family reasons, that will be +enough." + +"Oh, there is no occasion for giving any reason at all. You wish to do +it; that is reason enough." + +"Yes," said Mrs. Dennistoun, with diffidence, yet also a little +self-assertion, "I think it is enough." + +"Of course, of course." But his eyes were flaming, and Mrs. Dennistoun +would not allow herself to believe that she had got off. "And may I +ask--not that I have any right to ask, for of course you have better +advisers--what do you mean to put the money in, when you have got it +back?" + +"Oh, John," said Mrs. Dennistoun, "you are implacable, though you +pretend different. You know what I want with the money, and you +disapprove of it, and so do I. I am going to throw it away. I know that +just as well as you do, and I am ashamed of myself: but I am going to do +it all the same." + +"You are going to give it to Elinor? I don't think there is anything to +disapprove of in that. It is the most natural thing in the world." + +"If I could be sure that Elinor would get any good by it," she said. + +And then his face suddenly blazed up, so that the former flame in his +eyes was nothing. He sat for a moment staring at her, and then he said, +"Yes, if--but I suppose you take the risk." There were a great many +things on his lips to say, but he said none of them, except hurriedly, +"You have a motive, I suppose----" + +"I have a motive--as futile probably as my act--if I could by that +means, or any other, acquire an influence----" + +John was very seldom, if ever, rude--it was not in his way--but at this +moment he was so bitterly exasperated that he forgot his manners +altogether. He burst out into a loud laugh, and then he jumped up to his +feet and said, "Forgive me. I really have a dozen engagements. I can't +stay. I'll see to having this business done for you as soon as possible. +You would rather old Lynch had no hand in it? I'll get it done for you +at once." + +She followed him out to the door as if they had been in the country, and +that the flowery cottage door, with the great world of down and sky +outside, instead of Curzon Street: longing to say something that +would still, at the last moment, gain her John's approval, or his +understanding at least. But she could think of nothing to say. He had +promised to manage it all for her: he had not reproached her; and yet +not content with that she wanted to extort a favourable word from him +before he should go. But she could not find a word to say. He it was +only who spoke. He asked when she was going to return home, with his +hand upon the street door. + +"I don't know. I have not made any plans. The house is taken till July." + +"And you have enjoyed it?" he said. "It has answered?" + +What a cruel, cruel question to put to her! She going so unsuspectingly +with him to the very door! Philip Compton's servant, always about when +he was not wanted, spying about to see whom it was that "down-stairs" +was letting out, came strolling into sight. Anyhow, whether that was the +reason or not, she made him no reply. He caught her look--a look that +said more than words--and turned round quickly and held out his hand. "I +did not mean to be cruel," he said. + +"Oh, no, no, no--you did not mean it--you were not cruel. The +reverse--you are always so kind. Yes, it has answered--I am more glad +than I can tell you--that I came." + +He it was now that looked at her anxiously, while she smiled that +well-worn smile which is kept for people in trouble. She went in +afterwards and sat silent for some time, covering her face with her +hands; in which attitude Elinor found her after her afternoon visitors +had gone away. + +"What is it, mother? What is it, dear mother? Something has happened to +vex you." + +"Nothing, nothing, Elinor. John Tatham has been here. He is going to do +that little piece of business for me." + +"And he--has been bullying you too? poor mamma!" + +"On the contrary, he did not say a word. He considered it--quite +natural." + +Elinor gave her mother a kiss. She had nothing to say. Neither of them +had a word to say to the other. The thought that passed through both +their minds was: "After all it is only two thousand pounds"--and then, +_après_? was Elinor's thought. And then, never more, never more! was +what passed through Mrs. Dennistoun's mind. + +Phil Compton smiled upon her that day she handed him over the money. "It +is a great pity you took the trouble," he said. "It is a pity to change +an investment for such a bagatelle as two thousand pounds. Still, if +you insist upon it, mamma. I suppose Nell's been bragging of the big +interest, but you never will feel it on a scrap like this. If you would +let me double your income for you now." + +"You know, Philip, I cannot. The trustees would never consent." + +"Bother trustees. They are the ruin of women," he said, and as he left +the room he turned back to ask her how long she was going to stay in +town. + +"How long do you stay?" + +"Oh, till Goodwood always," said Phil. "Nell's looking forward to it, +and there's generally some good things just at the end when the heavy +people have gone away; but I thought you might not care to stay so +long." + +"I came not for town, but for Elinor, Philip." + +"Exactly so. But don't you think Elinor has shown herself quite able to +take care of herself--not to say that she has me? It's a thousand pities +to keep you from the country which you prefer, especially as, after all, +Nell can be so little with you." + +"It would be much better for her at present, Philip, to come with me, +and rest at home, while you go to Goodwood. For the sake of the future +you ought to persuade her to do it." + +"I daresay. Try yourself to persuade her to leave me. She won't, you +know. But why should you bore yourself to death staying on here? You +don't like it, and nobody----" + +"Wants me, you mean, Philip." + +"I never said anything so dashed straightforward. I am not a chap of +that kind. But what I say is, it's a shame to keep you hanging on, +disturbed in your rest and all that sort of thing. That noisy beggar, +Dismar, that came in with us last night must have woke you up with his +idiotic bellowing." + +"It doesn't matter for me; but Elinor, Philip. It does matter for your +wife. If her rest is broken it will react upon her in every way. I wish +you would consent to forego those visitors in the middle of the night." + +He looked at her with a sort of satirical indifference. "Sorry I can't +oblige you," he said. "When a girl's friends fork out handsomely a man +has some reason for paying a little attention. But when there's nothing, +or next to nothing, on her side, why of course he must pick up a little +where he can, as much for her sake as his own." + +"Pick up a little!" said Mrs. Dennistoun. + +"I wish you wouldn't repeat what I say like that. It makes a fellow +nervous. Yes, of course, a man that knows what he's about does pick up a +little. About your movements, however. I advise you to take my advice +and go back to your snug little house. It would kill me in a week, but I +know it suits you. Why hang on for Nell? She's as well as can be, and +there's a few things that it would be good for us to do." + +"Which you cannot do while I am here? Is that what you mean, Philip?" + +"I never saw any good in being what the French call brutal," he said, "I +hate making a woman cry, or that sort of thing. But you're a woman of +sense, and I'm sure you must see that a young couple like Nell and me, +who have our way to make in the world----" + +"You know it was for her sake entirely that I came here." + +"Yes, oh, yes. To do coddling and that sort of thing--which she doesn't +require a bit; but if I must be brutal you know there's things of much +consequence we could do if----" + +"If what, Philip?" + +"Well," he said, turning on his heel, "if we had the house to +ourselves." + +This was the influence Mrs. Dennistoun hoped to acquire by the sacrifice +of her two thousand pounds! When he was gone, instead of covering her +face as she had done when John left her, Mrs. Dennistoun stared into the +vacant air for a minute and then she burst into a laugh. It was not a +mirthful laugh, it may be supposed, or harmonious, and it startled her +as she heard it pealing into the silence. Whether it was loud enough to +wake Elinor up-stairs, or whether she was already close by and heard it, +I cannot tell, but she came in with a little tap at the door and a +smile, a somewhat anxious and forced smile, it is true, upon her face. + +"What is the joke?" she said. "I heard you laugh, and I thought I might +come in and share the fun. Somehow, we don't have so much fun as we used +to have. What is it, mamma?" + +"It is only a witticism of Philip's, who has been in to see me," said +Mrs. Dennistoun. "I won't repeat it, for probably I should lose the +point of it--you know I always did spoil a joke in repeating it. I have +been speaking to him," she said, after a little pause, during which both +her laugh and Elinor's smile evaporated in the most curious way, leaving +both of them very grave--"of going away, Elinor." + +"Of going away!" Elinor suddenly assumed a startled look; but there is +a difference between doing that and being really startled, which her +mother, alas! was quite enlightened enough to see; and surely once more +there was that mingled relief and relaxation in the lines of her face +which Mrs. Dennistoun had seen before. + +"Yes, my darling," she said, "it is June, and everything at the Cottage +will be in full beauty. And, perhaps, it would do you more good to come +down there for a day or two when there is nothing doing than to have me +here, which, after all, has not been of very much use to you." + +"Oh, don't say that, mamma. Use!--it has been of comfort unspeakable. +But," Elinor added, hurriedly, "I see the force of all you say. To +remain in London at this time of the year must be a far greater +sacrifice than I have any right to ask of you, mamma." + +Oh, the furtive, hurried, unreal words! which were such pain and horror +to say with the consciousness of the true sentiment lying underneath; +which made Elinor's heart sink, yet were brought forth with a sort of +hateful fervour, to imitate truth. + +Mrs. Dennistoun saw it all. There are times when the understanding of +such a woman is almost equal to those "larger other eyes" with which it +is our fond hope those who have left us for a better country see, if +they are permitted to see, our petty doings, knowing, better than we +know ourselves, what excuses, what explanations, they are capable of. +"As for the sacrifice," she said, "we will say nothing of that, Elinor. +It is a vain thing to say that if my life would do you any pleasure--for +you don't want to take my life, and probably the best thing I can do +for you is to go on as long as I can. But in the meantime there's no +question at all of sacrifice--and if you can come down now and then for +a day, and sleep in the fresh air----" + +"I will, I will, mamma," said Elinor, hiding her face on her mother's +shoulder; and they would have been something more than women if they had +not cried together as they held each other in that embrace--in which +there was so much more than met either eye or ear. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + + +It was about the 10th of June when Mrs. Dennistoun left London. She had +been in town for about five weeks, which looked like as many months, and +it was with a mingled sense of relief, and of that feeling which is like +death in the heart, the sense of nothing further to be done, of the end +of opportunity, the conclusion of all power to help, which sometimes +comes over an anxious mind, without in any respect diminishing the +anxiety, giving it indeed a depth and pang beyond any other feeling that +is known to the heart of man. What could she do more for her child? +Nothing. It was her only policy to remain away, not to see, certainly +not to remark anything that was happening, to wait if perhaps the moment +might come when she would be of use, and to hope that perhaps that +moment might never need to come, that by some wonderful turn of affairs +all might yet go well. She went back to Windyhill with the promise of a +visit "soon," Philip himself had said--in the pleasure of getting the +house, which was her house, which she had paid for and provisioned, to +himself for his own uses. Mrs. Dennistoun could not help hearing through +her maid something of the festivities which were in prospect after she +was gone, the dinners and gay receptions at which she would have been +_de trop_. She did not wish to hear of them, but these are things that +will make themselves known, and Mrs. Dennistoun had to face the fact +that Elinor was more or less consenting to the certainty of her mother +being _de trop_, which gave her a momentary pang. But after all, what +did it matter? It was not her fault, poor child. I have known a loving +daughter in whose mind there was a sentiment almost of relief amid her +deep grief when her tender mother died. Could such a thing be possible? +It was; because after then, however miserable she might be, there was no +conflict over her, no rending of the strained heart both ways. A woman +who has known life learns to understand and forgive a great many things; +and Mrs. Dennistoun forgave her Elinor, her only child, for whose +happiness she had lived, in that she was almost glad when her mother +went away. + +Such things, however, do not make a lonely little house in the country +more cheerful, or tend to make it easier to content one's self with the +Rector's family, and the good old, simple-minded, retired people, with +their little complaints, yet general peacefulness, and incompetence to +understand what tragedy was. They thought on the whole their neighbour +at the Cottage ought to be very thankful that she had got her daughter +well, or, if not very well, at least fashionably, married, with good +connections and all that, which are always of use in the long run. It +was better than marrying a poor curate, which was almost the only chance +a girl had on Windyhill. + +It was a little hard upon Mrs. Dennistoun, however, that she lost not +only Elinor, but John, who had been so good about coming down when she +was all alone at first. Of course, during the season, a young rising +man, with engagements growing upon him every day, was very unlikely to +have his Saturdays to Mondays free. So many people live out of town +nowadays, or, at least, have a little house somewhere to which they go +from Saturday to Monday, taking their friends with them. This was no +doubt the reason why John never came; and yet the poor lady suspected +another reason, and though she no longer laughed as she had done on +that occasion when the Honourable Phil gave her her dismissal, a smile +would come over her face sometimes when she reflected that with her two +thousand pounds she had purchased the hostility of both Philip and John. + +John Tatham was indeed exceedingly angry with her for the weakness with +which she had yielded to Phil Compton's arguments, though indeed he knew +nothing of Phil Compton's arguments, nor whether they had been exercised +at all on the woman who was first of all Elinor's mother and ready to +sacrifice everything to her comfort. When he found that this foolish +step on her part had been followed by her retirement from London, he was +greatly mystified and quite unable to understand. He met Elinor some +time after at one of those assemblies to which "everybody" goes. It was, +I think, the soirée at the Royal Academy--where amid the persistent +crowd in the great room there was a whirling crowd, twisting in and out +among the others, bound for heaven knows how many other places, and +pausing here and there on tiptoe to greet an acquaintance, at the tail +of which, carried along by its impetus, was Elinor. She was not looking +either well or happy, but she was responding more or less to the impulse +of her set, exchanging greetings and banal words with dozens of people, +and sometimes turning a wistful and weary gaze towards the pictures on +the walls, as if she would gladly escape from the mob of her companions +to them, or anywhere. It was no impulse of taste or artistic feeling, +however, it is to be feared, but solely the weariness of her mind. John +watched her for some time before he approached her. Phil was not of the +party, which was nothing extraordinary, for little serious as that +assembly is, it was still of much too serious a kind for Phil; but Lady +Mariamne was there, and other ladies with whom Elinor was in the habit +of pursuing that gregarious hunt after pleasure which carries the train +of votaries along at so breakneck a pace, and with so little time to +enjoy the pleasure they are pursuing. When he saw indications that the +stream was setting backwards to the entrance, again to separate and +take its various ways to other entertainments, he broke into the throng +and called Elinor's attention to himself. For a moment she smiled with +genuine pleasure at the sight of him, but then changed her aspect almost +imperceptibly. "Oh, John!" she said with that smile: but immediately +looked towards Lady Mariamne, as if undecided what to do. + +"You need not look--as if I would try to detain you, Elinor." + +"Do you think I am afraid of your detaining me? I thought I should be +sure to meet you to-night, and was on the outlook. How is it that we +never see you now?" + +He refused the natural retort that she had never asked to see him, and +only said, with a smile, "I hear my aunt is gone." + +"Do you mean to say that you only came for her? That is an unkind +speech. Yes, she has gone. It was cruel to keep her in town for the best +part of the year." + +"But she intended to stay till July, Elinor." + +"Did she? I think you are mistaken, John. She intended to watch over +me--dear mamma, she thinks too much of me--but when she saw that I was +quite well----" + +"You don't look to me so extraordinarily well." + +"Don't I? I must be a fraud then. Nobody could be stronger. I'm going to +a multitude of places to-night. Wherever my Hebrew leader goes I go," +said Elinor, with a laugh. "I have given myself up for to-night, and she +is never satisfied with less than a dozen." + +"Ten minutes to each." + +"Oh, half an hour at least: and with having our carriage found for us at +every place, and the risk of getting into a _queue_, and all the delays +of coming and going, it cannot be much less than three-quarters of an +hour. This is the third. I think three more will weary even the Jew." + +"You are with Lady Mariamne then, Elinor?" + +"Yes--oh, you need not make that face. She is as good as the rest, and +pretends to nothing, at least. I have no carriage, you know, and Phil +took fright at my dear old fly. He thought a hired brougham was not good +when I was alone." + +"That was quite true. Nevertheless, I should like above all things to +keep you here a little longer to look at some of the pictures, and take +you home in a hansom after." + +She laughed. "Oh, so should I--fancy, I have not seen the pictures, not +at all. We came in a mob to the private view; and then one day I was +coming with mamma, but was stopped by something, and now---- Always +people, people--nothing else. 'Did you see So-and-so? There's some one +bowing to you, Nell. Be sure you speak a word to the Thises or the +Thats'--while I don't care for one of them. But I fear the hansom would +not do, John." + +"It would have done very well in the old days. Your mother would not +have been displeased." + +"The old days are gone and will never return," she said, half sad, half +smiling, shaking her head. "So far as I can see, nothing ever returns. +You have your day, and if you do not make the best of that----" + +She stopped, shaking her head again with a laugh, and there were various +ways in which that speech might be interpreted. John for one knew a +sense of it which he believed had never entered Elinor's head. He too +might have had his day and let it slip. "So you are making the most of +yours," he said. "I hear that you are very gay." + +Elinor coloured high under his look. "I don't know who can have told you +that. We have had a few little dinners since mamma left us, chiefly +Phil's business friends. I would not have them while she was with +us--that is to say, to be honest," cried Elinor, "while we were with +her: which of course was the real state of the case. I myself don't like +those people, John, but they would have been insupportable to mamma. It +was for her sake----" + +"I understand," he said. + +"Oh, but you must not say 'I understand' with that air of knowing a +great deal more than there is to understand," she said, with heat. +"Mamma said it would do me much more good to go--home for a night now +and then and sleep in the fresh air than for her to stay; and though I +think she is a little insane on the subject of my health, still it was +certainly better than that she should stay here, making herself +wretched, her rest broken, and all that. You know we keep such late +hours." + +"I should not have thought she would have minded that." + +"But what would you have thought of me if I did not mind it for her? +There, John, do you see they are all going? Ah, the pictures! I wish I +could have stayed with you and gone round the rooms. But it must not be +to-night. Come and see me!" she said, turning round to him with a smile, +and holding out her hand. + +"I would gladly, Elinor--but should not I find myself in the way of your +fine friends like----" + +He had not the heart to finish the sentence when he met her eyes +brimming full of tears. + +"Not my fine friends, but my coarse friends," she said; "not friends at +all, our worst enemies, I am sure." + +"Nell!" cried Lady Mariamne, in her shrill voice. + +"You will come and see me, John?" + +"Yes," he said, "and in the meantime I will take you down-stairs, let +your companions think as they please." + +It proved when he did so that John had to escort both ladies to the +carriage, which it was not very easy to find, no other cavalier being at +hand for the moment; and that Lady Mariamne invited him to accompany +them to their next stage. "You know the Durfords, of course. You are +going there? What luck for us, Nell! Jump in, Mr. Tatham, we will take +you on." + +"Unfortunately Lady Durford has not taken the trouble to invite me," +said John. + +"What does that matter? Jump in, all the same, she'll be delighted to +see you, and as for not asking you, when you are with me and Nell----" + +But John turned a deaf ear to this siren's song. + +He went to Curzon Street a little while after to call, as he had been +invited to do, and went late to avoid the bustle of the tea-table, and +the usual rabble of that no longer intimate but wildly gregarious house. +And he was not without his reward. Perhaps a habit he had lately formed +of passing by Curzon Street in the late afternoon, when he was on his +way to his club, after work was over, had something to do with his +choice of this hour. He found Elinor, as he had hoped, alone. She was +sitting so close to the window that her white dress mingled with the +white curtains, so that he did not at first perceive her, and so much +abstracted in her own thoughts that she did not pay any attention to the +servant's hurried murmur of his name at the door. When she felt rather +than saw that there was some one in the room, Elinor jumped up with a +shock of alarm that seemed unnecessary in her own drawing-room; then +seeing who it was, was so much and so suddenly moved that she shed a few +tears in some sudden revulsion of feeling as she said, "Oh, it is you, +John!" + +"Yes," he said, "but I am very sorry to see you so nervous." + +"Oh, it's nothing. I was always nervous"--which indeed was the purest +invention, for Elinor Dennistoun had not known what nerves meant. "I +mean I was always startled by any sudden entrance--in this way," she +cried, and very gravely asked him to be seated, with a curious +assumption of dignity. Her demeanour altogether was incomprehensible to +John. + +"I hope," he said, "you were not displeased with me, Elinor, for going +off the other night. I should have been too happy, you know, to go with +you anywhere; but Lady Mariamne is more than I can stand." + +"I was very glad you did not come," she said with a sigh; then smiling +faintly, "But you were ungrateful, for Mariamne formed a most favourable +opinion of you. She said, 'Why didn't you tell me, Nell, you had a +cousin so presentable as that?'" + +"I am deeply obliged, Elinor; but it seems that what was a compliment to +me personally involved something the reverse for your other relations." + +"It is one of their jokes," said Elinor, with a voice that faltered a +little, "to represent my relations as--not in a complimentary way. I am +supposed not to mind, and it's all a joke, or so they tell me; but it is +not a joke I like," she said, with a flash from her eyes. + +"All families have jokes of that description," said John; "but tell me, +Nelly, are you really going down to the cottage, to your mother?" + +Her eyes thanked him with a gleam of pleasure for the old familiar name, +and then the light went out of them. "I don't know," she said, abruptly. +"Phil was to come; if he will not, I think I will not either. But I will +say nothing till I make sure." + +"Of course your first duty is to him," said John; "but a day now or a +day then interferes with nothing, and the country would be good for you, +Elinor. Doesn't your husband see it? You are not looking like yourself." + +"Not like myself? I might easily look better than myself. I wish I +could. I am not so bigoted about myself." + +"Your friends are, however," he said: "no one who cares for you wants to +change you, even for another Elinor. Come, you are nervous altogether +to-night, not like yourself, as I told you. You always so courageous and +bright! This depressed state is not one of your moods. London is too +much for you, my little Nelly." + +"Your little Nellie has gone away somewhere John. I doubt if she'll ever +come back. Yes, London is rather too much for me, I think. It's such a +racket, as Phil says. But then he's used to it, you know. He was brought +up to it, whereas I--I think I hate a racket, John--and they all like it +so. They prefer never having a moment to themselves. I daresay one +would end by being just the same. It keeps you from thinking, that is +one very good thing." + +"You used not to think so, Elinor." + +"No," she said, "not at the Cottage among the flowers, where nothing +ever happened from one year's end to another. I should die of it now in +a week--at least if not I, those who belong to me. So on the whole +perhaps London is the safest--unless Phil will go." + +"I can only hope you will be able to persuade him," said John, rising to +go away, "for whatever you may think, you are a country bird, and you +want the fresh air." + +"Are you going, John? Well, perhaps it is better. Good-by. Don't trouble +your mind about me whether I go or stay." + +"Do you mean I am not to come again, Elinor?" + +"Oh, why should I mean that?" she said. "You are so hard upon me in your +thoughts;" but she did not say that he was wrong, and John went out from +the door saying to himself that he would not go again. He saw through +the open door of the dining-room that the table was prepared sumptuously +for a dinner-party. It was shining with silver and crystal, the silver +Mrs. Dennistoun's old service, which she had brought up with her from +Windyhill, and which as a matter of convenience she had left behind with +her daughter. Would it ever, he wondered, see Windyhill again? + +He went on to his club, and there some one began to amuse him with an +account of Lady Durford's ball, to which Lady Mariamne had wished to +take him. "Are not those Comptons relations of yours, Tatham?" he said. + +"Connections," said John, "by marriage." + +"I'm very glad that's all. They are a queer lot. Phil Compton you +know--the dis-Honourable Phil, as he used to be called--but I hear he's +turned over a new leaf----" + +"What of him?" said John. + +"Oh, nothing much: only that he was flirting desperately all the evening +with a Mrs. Harris, an American widow. I believe he came with her--and +his own wife there--much younger, much prettier, a beautiful young +creature--looking on with astonishment. You could see her eyes growing +bigger and bigger. If it had not been kind of amusing to a looker-on, it +would be the most pitiful sight in the world." + +"I advise you not to let yourself be amused by such trifles," said John +Tatham, with a look of fire and flame. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + + +As a matter of fact, Elinor did not go to the Cottage for the fresh air +or anything else. She made one hurried run in the afternoon to bid her +mother good-by, alone, which was not a visit, but the mere pretence of a +visit, hurried and breathless, in which there was no time to talk of +anything. She gave Mrs. Dennistoun an account of the usual lists of +visits that her husband and she were to make in the autumn, which the +mother, with the usual instinct of mothers, thought too much. "You will +wear yourself to death, Elinor." + +"Oh, no," she said, "it is not that sort of thing that wears one to +death. I shall--enjoy it, I suppose, as other people do----" + +"I don't know about enjoyment, Elinor, but I am sure it would be much +better for you to come and stay here quietly with me." + +"Oh, don't talk to me of any paradises, mamma. We are in the working-day +world, and we must make out our life as we can." + +"But you might let Philip go by himself and come and stay quietly here +for a little, for the sake of your health, Elinor." + +"Not for the world, not for the world," she cried. "I cannot leave +Phil:" and then with a laugh that was full of a nervous thrill, "You +are always thinking of my health, mamma, when my health is perfect: +better, far better, than almost anybody's. The most of them have +headaches and that sort of thing, and they stay in bed for a day or two +constantly, but I never need anything of the kind." + +"My darling, it would not be leaving Philip to take, say, a single +week's rest." + +"While he went off without me I should not know where," she said, +sullenly; then gave her mother a guilty look and laughed again. "No, +no, mamma; he would not like it. A man does not like his wife to be an +incapable, to have to leave him and be nursed up by her mother. Besides, +it is to the country we are going, you know, to Scotland, the finest +air; better even, if that were possible, than Windyhill." + +This was all that was said, and there was indeed time for little more; +for as the visit was unexpected the Hudsons, by bad luck, appeared to +take tea with Mrs. Dennistoun by way of cheering her in her loneliness, +and were of course enchanted to see Elinor, and to hear, as Mrs. Hudson +said, of all her doings in the great world. "We always look out for your +name at all the parties. It gives one quite an interest in fashionable +life," said the Rector's wife, nodding her head, "and Alice was eager to +hear what the last month's novelties were in the fashions, and if Elinor +had any nice new patterns, especially for under-things. But what should +you want with new under-things, with such a trousseau as you had?" she +added, regretfully. Elinor in fact was quite taken from her mother for +that hour. Was it not, perhaps, better so? Her mother herself was half +inclined to think that it was, though with an ache in her heart, and +there could be no doubt that Elinor herself was thankful that it so +happened. When there are many questions on one side that must be asked, +and very little answer possible on the other, is it a good thing when +the foolish outside world breaks in with its _banal_ interest and +prevents this dangerous interchange? + +So short time did Elinor stay that she had kept the fly waiting which +brought her from the station: and she took leave of her mother with a +sort of determination, not allowing it even to be suggested that she +should accompany her. "I like to bid you good-by here," she said, "at +our own door, where you have always come all my life to see me off, even +when I was only going to tea at the Rectory. Good-by, good-by, mother +dear." She drove off waving her hand, and Mrs. Dennistoun sat out in the +garden a long time till she saw the fly go round the turn of the road, +the white line which came suddenly in sight from among the trees and as +suddenly disappeared again round the side of the hill. Elinor waved her +handkerchief from the window and her mother answered--and then she was +gone like a dream, and the loneliness closed down more overwhelming than +ever before. + +Elinor was at Goodwood, her name in all the society papers, and even a +description of one of her dresses, which delighted and made proud the +whole population of Windyhill. The paper which contained it, and which, +I believe, belonged originally to Miss Dale, passed from hand to hand +through almost the entire community; the servants getting it at last, +and handing it round among the humbler friends, who read it, half a +dozen women together round a cottage door, wiping their hands upon their +aprons before they would touch the paper, with many an exclamation and +admiring outcry. And then her name appeared among the lists of smart +people who were going to the North--now here, now there--in company with +many other fine names. It gave the Windyhill people a great deal of +amusement, and if Mrs. Dennistoun did not quite share this feeling it +was a thing for which her friends blamed her gently. "For only think +what a fine thing for Elinor to go everywhere among the best people, and +see life like that!" "My dear friend," said the Rector, "you know we +cannot hope to keep our children always with us. They must go out into +the world while we old birds stay at home; and we must not--we really +must not--grudge them their good times, as the Americans say." It was +more wonderful than words could tell to Mrs. Dennistoun that it should +be imagined she was grudging Elinor her "good time!" + +The autumn went on, with those occasional public means of following her +footsteps which, indeed, made even John Tatham--who was not in an +ordinary way addicted to the _Morning Post_, being after his fashion a +Liberal in politics and far from aristocratical in his sentiments +generally--study that paper, and also other papers less worthy: and +with, of course, many letters from Elinor, which gave more trustworthy +accounts of her proceedings. These letters, however, were far less long, +far less detailed, than they had once been; often written in a hurry, +and short, containing notes of where she was going, and of a continual +change of address, rather than of anything that could be called +information about herself. John, I think, went only once to the Cottage +during the interval which followed. He went abroad as usual in +the Long Vacation, and then he had this on his mind--that he had +half-surreptitiously obtained a new light upon the position of Elinor, +which he had every desire to keep from her mother; for Mrs. Dennistoun, +though she felt that her child was not happy, attributed that to +any reason rather than a failure in her husband's love. Elinor's +hot rejection of the very idea of leaving Phil, her dislike of any +suggestion to that effect, even for a week, even for a day, seemed to +her mother a proof that her husband, at all events, remained as dear to +her as ever; and John would rather have cut his tongue out than betray +any chance rumour he heard--and he heard many--to this effect. He was of +opinion, indeed, that in London, and especially at a London club, not +only is everything known that is to be known, but much is known that has +never existed, and never will exist if not blown into being by those +whose office it is to invent the grief to come; therefore he thought it +wisest to keep away, lest by any chance something might drop from him +which would awaken a new crowd of disquietudes in Mrs. Dennistoun's +heart. Another incident, even more disquieting than gossip, had indeed +occurred to John. It had happened to him to meet Lady Mariamne at a +great _omnium gatherum_ of a country house, where all sorts of people +were invited, and where that lady claimed his acquaintance as one +of the least alarming of the grave "set." She not only claimed his +acquaintance, but set up a sort of friendship on the ground of his +relationship to Elinor, and in an unoccupied moment after dinner one day +poured a great many confidences into his ear. + +"Isn't it such a pity," she said, "that Phil and she do not get on? Oh, +they did at first, like a house on fire! And if she had only minded her +ways they might still have been as thick---- But these little country +girls, however they may disguise it at first, they all turn like that. +The horridest little puritan! Phil does no more than a hundred men--than +almost all men do: amuse himself with anything that throws itself in his +way, don't you know. And sometimes, perhaps, he does go rather far. I +think myself he sometimes goes a little too far--for good taste you +know, and that sort of thing." + +It was more amazing to hear Lady Mariamne talk of good taste than +anything that had ever come in John Tatham's way before, but he was too +horribly, desperately interested to see the fun. + +"She will go following him about wherever he goes. She oughtn't to do +that, don't you know. She should let him take his swing, and the chances +are it will bring him back all right. I've told her so a dozen times, +but she pays no attention to me. You're a great pal of hers. Why don't +you give her a hint? Phil's not the sort of man to be kept in order like +that. She ought to give him his head." + +"I'm afraid," said John, "it's not a matter in which I can interfere." + +"Well, some of her friends should, anyhow, and teach her a little sense. +You're a cautious man, I see," said Lady Mariamne. "You think it's too +delicate to advise a woman who thinks herself an injured wife. I didn't +say to console her, mind you," she said with a shriek of a laugh. + +It may be supposed that after this John was still more unwilling to go +to the Cottage, to run the risk of betraying himself. He did write to +Elinor, telling her that he had heard of her from her sister-in-law; but +when he tried to take Lady Mariamne's advice and "give her a hint," +John felt his lips sealed. How could he breathe a word even of such a +suspicion to Elinor? How could he let her know that he thought such a +thing possible?--or presume to advise her, to take her condition for +granted? It was impossible. He ended by some aimless wish that he might +meet her at the Cottage for Christmas; "you and Mr. Compton," he +said--whom he did not wish to meet, the last person in the world: and of +whom there was no question that he should go to the Cottage at Christmas +or any other time. But what could John do or say? To suggest to her that +he thought her an injured wife was beyond his power. + +It was somewhere about Christmas--just before--in that dread moment for +the lonely and those who are in sorrow and distress, when all the rest +of the world is preparing for that family festival, or pretending to +prepare, that John Tatham was told one morning in his chambers that a +lady wanted to see him. He was occupied, as it happened, with a client +for whom he had stayed in town longer than he had intended to stay, and +he paid little more attention than to direct his clerk to ask the lady +what her business was, or if she could wait. The client was long-winded, +and lingered, but John's mind was not free enough nor his imagination +lively enough to rouse much curiosity in him in respect to the lady who +was waiting. It was only when she was ushered in by his clerk, as the +other went away, and putting up her veil showed the pale and anxious +countenance of Mrs. Dennistoun, that the shock as of sudden calamity +reached him. "Aunt!" he cried, springing from his chair. + +"Yes, John--I couldn't come anywhere but here--you will feel for me more +than any one." + +"Elinor?" he said. + +Her lips were dry, she spoke with a little difficulty, but she nodded +her head and held out to him a telegram which was in her hand. It was +dated from a remote part of Scotland, far in the north. "Ill--come +instantly," was all it said. + +"And I cannot get away till night," cried Mrs. Dennistoun, with a burst +of subdued sobbing. "I can't start till night." + +"Is this all? What was your last news?" + +"Nothing, but that they had gone there--to somebody's shooting-box, +which was lent them, I believe--at the end of the world. I wrote to beg +her to come to me. She is--near a moment--of great anxiety. Oh, John, +support me: let me not break down." + +"You will not," he said; "you are wanted; you must keep all your wits +about you. What were they doing there at this time of the year?" + +"They have been visiting about--they were invited to Dunorban for +Christmas, but she persuaded Philip, so she said, to take this little +house. I think he was to join the party while she--I cannot tell you +what was the arrangement. She has written very vaguely for some time. +She ought to have been with me--I told her so--but she has always said +she could not leave Philip." + +Could not leave Philip! The mother, fortunately, had no idea why this +determination was. "I went so far as to write to Philip," she said, "to +ask him if she might not come to me, or, at least begging him to bring +her to town, or somewhere where she could have proper attention. He +answered me very briefly that he wished her to go, but she would not: as +he had told me before I left town--that was all. It seemed to fret +him--he must have known that it was not a fit place for her, in a +stranger's house, and so far away. And to think I cannot even get away +till late to-night!" + +John had to comfort her as well as he could, to make her eat something, +to see that she had all the comforts possible for her night journey. +"You were always like her brother," the poor lady said, finding at last +relief in tears. And then he went with her to the train, and found her a +comfortable carriage, and placed her in it with all the solaces his mind +could think of. A sleeping-carriage on the Scotch lines is not such a +ghastly pretence of comfort as those on the Continent. The solaces John +brought her--the quantities of newspapers, the picture papers and +others, rugs and shawls innumerable--all that he possessed in the shape +of wraps, besides those which she had with her. What more could a man +do? If she had been young he would have bought her sugar-plums. All that +they meant were the dumb anxieties of his own breast, and the vague +longing to do something, anything that would be a help to her on her +desolate way. + +"You will send me a word, aunt, as soon as you get there?" + +"Oh, at once, John." + +"You will tell me how she is--say as much as you can--no three words, +like that. I shall not leave town till I hear." + +"Oh, John, why should this keep you from your family? I could telegraph +there as easily as here." + +He made a gesture almost of anger. "Do you think I am likely to put +myself out of the way--not to be ready if you should want me?" + +How should she want him?--a mother summoned to her daughter at such a +moment--but she did not say so to trouble him more: for John had got to +that maddening point of anxiety when nothing but doing something, or at +least keeping ready to do something, flattering yourself that there must +be something to do, affords any balm to the soul. + +He saw her away by that night train, crowded with people going +home--people noisy with gayety, escaping from their daily cares to the +family meeting, the father's house, all the associations of pleasure +and warmth and consolation--cold, but happy, in their third-class +compartments--not wrapped up in every conceivable solace as she was, yet +no one, perhaps, so heavy-hearted. He watched for the last glimpse of +her face just as the train plunged into the darkness, and saw her smile +and wave her hand to him; then he, too, plunged into the darkness like +the train. He walked and walked through the solitary streets not knowing +where he was going, unable to rest. Had he ever been, as people say, in +love with Elinor? He could not tell--he had never betrayed it by word or +look if he had. He had never taken any step to draw her near him, to +persuade her to be his and not another's; on the contrary, he had +avoided everything that could lead to that. Neither could he say, "She +was as my sister," which his relationship might have warranted him in +doing. It was neither the one nor the other--she was not his love nor +his sister--she was simply Elinor; and perhaps she was dying; perhaps +the news he would receive next day would be the worst that the heart +can hear. He walked and walked through those dreary, semi-respectable +streets of London, the quiet, the sordid, the dismal, mile after mile, +and street after street, till half the night was over and he was tired +out, and might have a hope of rest. + +But for three whole days--days which he could not reckon, which seemed +of the length of years--during which he remained closeted in his +chambers, the whole world having, as it seemed, melted away around him, +leaving him alone, he did not have a word. He did not go home, feeling +that he must be on the spot, whatever happened. Finally, when he was +almost mad, on the morning of the third day, he received the following +telegram: "Saved--as by a miracle; doing well. Child--a boy." + +"Child--a boy!" Good heavens! what did he want with that? it seemed an +insult to him to tell him. What did he care for the child, if it was +a boy or not?--the wretched, undesirable brat of such parentage, born +to perpetuate a name which was dishonoured. Altogether the telegram, +as so many telegrams, but lighted fresh fires of anxiety in his mind. +"Saved--as by a miracle!" Then he had been right in the dreadful fancies +that had gone through his mind. He had passed by Death in the dark; and +was it now sure that the miracle would last, that the danger would have +passed away? + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + + +It was not till nearly three weeks after this that John received another +brief dispatch. "At home: come and see us." He had indeed got a short +letter or two in the interval, saying almost nothing--a brief report +of Elinor's health, and of the baby, against whom he had taken an +unreasoning disgust and repugnance. "Little beast!" he said to himself, +passing over that part of the bulletin: for the letters were scarcely +more than bulletins, without a word about the circumstances which +surrounded her. A shooting lodge in Ross-shire in the middle of the +winter! What a place for a delicate woman! John was well enough aware +that many elements of comfort were possible even in such a place; but he +shut his eyes, as was natural, to anything that went against his own +point of view. + +And now this telegram from Windyhill--"At home: come and see us"--_us_. +Was it a mistake of the telegraph people?--of course they must make +mistakes. They had no doubt taken the _me_ in Mrs. Dennistoun's angular +writing for _us_--or was it possible---- John had no peace in his mind +until he had so managed matters that he could go and see. There was no +very pressing business in the middle of January, when people had hardly +yet recovered the idleness of Christmas. He started one windy afternoon, +when everything was grey, and arrived at Hurrymere station in the dim +twilight, still ruddy with tints of sunset. He was in a very contradictory +frame of mind, so that though his heart jumped to see Mrs. Dennistoun +awaiting him on the platform, there mingled in his satisfaction in +seeing her and hearing what she had to tell so much sooner, a perverse +conviction of cold and discomfort in the long drive up in the pony +carriage which he felt sure was before him. He was mistaken, however, on +this point, for the first thing she said was, "I have secured the fly, +John. Old Pearson will take your luggage. I have so much to tell you." +There was an air of excitement in her face, but not that air of subdued +and silent depression which comes with solitude. She was evidently full +of the report she had to make; but yet the first thing she did when she +was ensconced in the fly with John beside her was to cover her face with +her hands, and subside into her corner in a silent passion of tears. + +"For mercy's sake tell me what is the matter. What has happened? Is +Elinor ill?" + +He had almost asked is Elinor dead? + +She uncovered her face, which had suddenly lighted up with a strange +gleam of joy underneath the tears. "John, Elinor is here," she said. + +"Here?" + +"At home--safe. I have brought her back--and the child." + +"Confound the child!" John said in his excitement. "Brought her back! +What do you mean?" + +"Oh, John, it is a long story. I have a hundred things to tell you, and +to ask your advice upon; but the main thing is that she is here. I have +brought her away from him. She will go back no more." + +"She has left her husband?" he said, with a momentary flicker of +exultation in his dismay. But the dismay, to do him justice, was the +strongest. He looked at his companion almost sternly. "Things," he said, +"must have been very serious to justify that." + +"They were more than serious--they had become impossible," Mrs. +Dennistoun said. + +And she told him her story, which was a long one. She had arrived to +find Elinor alone in the little solitary lodge in the midst of the +wilds, not without attention indeed or comfort, but alone, her husband +absent. She had been very ill, and he had been at the neighbouring +castle, where a great party was assembled, and where, the mother +discovered at last, there was--the woman who had made Elinor's life a +burden to her. "I don't know with what truth. I don't know whether there +is what people call any harm in it. It is possible he is only amusing +himself. I can't tell. But it has made Elinor miserable this whole +autumn through, that and a multitude of other things. She would not let +me send for him when I got there. It had gone so far as that. She said +that the whole business disgusted him, that he had lost all interest in +her, that to hear it was over might be a relief to him, but nothing +more. Her heart has turned altogether against him, John, in every way. +There have been a hundred things. You think I am almost wickedly glad to +have her home. And so I am. I cannot deny it. To have her here even in +her trouble makes all the difference to me. But I am not so careless as +you think. I can look beyond to other things. I shrink as much as you do +from such a collapse of her life. I don't want her to give up her duty, +and now that there is the additional bond of the child----" + +"Oh, for heaven's sake," said John, "leave the child out of it! I want +to hear nothing of the child!" + +"That is one chief point, however, that we want your advice about, John. +A man, I suppose, does not understand it; but her baby is everything to +Elinor: and I suppose--unless he can really be proved as guilty as she +thinks--he could take the child away." + +John smiled to himself a little bitterly: this was why he was sent for +in such a hurry, not for the sake of his society, or from any affection +for him, but that he might tell them what steps to take to secure them +in possession of the child. He said nothing for some time, nor did Mrs. +Dennistoun, whose disappointment in the coldness of his response was +considerable, and who waited in vain for him to speak. At length she +said, almost tremblingly, "I am afraid you disapprove very much of the +whole business, John." + +"I hope it has not been done rashly," he said. "The husband's mere +absence, though heartless as--as I should have expected of the +fellow--would yet not be reason enough to satisfy any--court." + +"Any court! You don't think she means to bring him before any court? She +wants only to be left alone. We ask nothing from him, not a penny, not +any money--surely, surely no revenge--only not to be molested. There +shall not be a word said on our side, if he will but let her alone." + +John shook his head. "It all depends upon the view the man takes of it," +he said. + +Now this was very cold comfort to Mrs. Dennistoun, who had by this time +become very secure in her position, feeling herself entirely justified +in all that she had done. "The man," she said, "the man is not the +sufferer: and surely the woman has some claim to be heard." + +"Every claim," said John. "That is not what I was thinking of. It is +this: if the man has a leg to stand upon, he will show fight. If he +hasn't--why that will make the whole difference, and probably Elinor's +position will be quite safe. But you yourself say----" + +"John, don't throw back upon me what I myself said. I said that perhaps +things were not so bad as she believed. In my experience I have found +that folly, and playing with everything that is right is more common +than absolute wrong--and men like Philip Compton are made up of levity +and disregard of everything that is serious." + +"In that case," said John, "if you are right, he will not let her go." + +"Oh, John! oh, John! don't make me wish that he may be a worse man than +I think. He could not force her to go back to him, feeling as she does." + +"Nobody can force a woman to do that; but he could perhaps make her +position untenable; he would, perhaps, take away the child." + +"John," said Mrs. Dennistoun, in alarm, "if you tell her that, she will +fly off with him to the end of the world. She will die before she will +part with the child." + +"I suppose that's how women are made," said John, not yet cured of his +personal offence. + +"Yes," she said, "that's how women are made." + +"I beg your pardon," he said, coming to himself; "but you know, aunt, a +man may be pardoned for not understanding that supreme fascination of +the baby who cares no more for one than another, poor little animal, so +long as it gets its food and is warm enough. We must await and see what +the man will do." + +"Is that the best?--is there nothing we can do to defend ourselves in +the meantime--to make any sort of barricade against him?" + +"We must wait and see what he is going to do," said John; and they went +over and over the question, again and again, as they climbed the hills. +It grew quite dark as they drove along, and when they came out upon the +open part of the road, from which the Cottage was visible, they both +looked out across the combe to the lights in the windows with an +involuntary movement. The Cottage was transformed; instead of the one +lonely lighted window which had indicated to John in former visits where +Mrs. Dennistoun sat alone, there was now a twinkle from various points, +a glow of firelight, a sensation of warmth, and company. Mrs. Dennistoun +looked out upon it and her face shone. It was not a happy thing that +Elinor should have made shipwreck of her life, should have left her +husband and sought refuge in her mother's house. But how could it be +otherwise than happy that Elinor was there--Elinor and the other little +creature who was something more than Elinor, herself and yet another? +As for John, he looked at it too, with an interest which stopped all +arguments on the cause of it. She was there--wrong, perhaps, impatient; +too quick to fly as she had been too quick to go--but still Elinor all +the same, whether she was right or wrong. + +The cab arrived soberly at the door, where Pearson with the pony +carriage, coming by the shorter way with the luggage, had just arrived +also. Mrs. Dennistoun said, hurriedly, "You will find Elinor in the +drawing-room, John," and herself went hastily through the house and up +the stairs. She was going to the baby! John guessed this with a smile of +astonishment and half contempt. How strange it was! There could not be +a more sad position than that in which, in their rashness, these two +women had placed themselves; and yet the mother, a woman of experience, +who ought to have known better, got out of the carriage like a girl, +without waiting to be helped or attended to, and went up-stairs like +the wind, forgetting everything else for that child--that child, the +inheritor of Phil Compton's name and very likely of his qualities--fated +from his birth (most likely) to bring trouble to everybody connected +with him! And yet Elinor was of less interest to her mother. What +strange caprices of nature! what extraordinary freaks of womankind! + +The Cottage down-stairs was warm and bright with firelight and +lamplight, and in the great chair by the fire was reclining, lying back +with her book laid on her lap and her face full of eager attention to +the sounds outside, a pale young woman, surrounded by cushions and warm +wraps and everything an invalid could require, who raised to him eyes +more large and shining than he had ever seen before, suffused with a dew +of pain and pleasure and eager welcome. Elinor, was it Elinor? He had +never seen her in any way like an invalid before--never knew her to +be ill, or weak, or unable to walk out to the door and meet him or +anyone she cared for. The sight of her ailing, weak, with those large +glistening eyes, enlarged by feebleness, went to his very heart. +Fortunately he did not in any way connect this enfeebled state with the +phenomenon up-stairs, which was best for all parties. He hurried up to +her, taking her thin hands into his own. + +"Elinor! my poor little Nelly--can this be you!" + +The water that was in her eyes rolled over in two great tears; a brief +convulsion went over her face. "Yes, John," she said, almost in a +whisper. "Strange as it may seem, this is all that is left of me." + +He sat down beside her and for a moment neither of them spoke. Pity, +tenderness, wrath, surged up together in John's breast; pity, tender +compassion, most strong of all. Poor little thing; this was how she had +come back to her home; her heart broken, her wings broken, as it were; +all her soaring and swiftness and energy gone. He could scarcely look +upon her for the pity that overflowed his heart. But underneath lay +wrath, not only against the man who had brought her to such a pass, but +against herself too. + +"John," she said, after a while, "do you remember saying to me that I +was not one to bear, to put up with things, to take the consequences if +I tried a dangerous experiment and failed?" + +"Did I ever say anything so silly and so cruel?" + +"Oh, no, no; it was neither silly nor unkind, but quite, quite true. I +have thought of it so often. I used to think of it to stir up my pride, +to remind myself that I ought to try to be better than my nature, not to +allow you to be a true prophet. But it was so, and I couldn't change it. +You can see you were right, John, for I have not been like a strong +woman, able to endure; I have only been able to run away." + +"My poor little Nelly!" + +"Don't pity me," she said, the tears running over again. "I am too well +off; I am too well taken care of. A prodigal should not be made so much +of as I am." + +"Don't call yourself a prodigal, Nelly! Perhaps things may not be as bad +as they appear. At least, it is but the first fall--the greatest athlete +gets many before he can stand against the world." + +"I'll never be an athlete, John. Besides, I'm a woman, you know, and a +fall of any kind is fatal to a woman, especially anything of this kind. +No, I know very well it's all over; I shall never hold up my head again. +But that's not the question--the question is, to be safe and as free as +can be. Mamma takes me in, you know, just as if nothing had happened. +She is quite willing to take the burden of me on her shoulders--and of +baby. She has told you that there are two of me, now, John--my baby, as +well as myself." + +John could only nod an assent; he could not speak. + +"It's a wonderful thing to come out of a wreck with a treasure in one's +arms; everything going to pieces behind one; the rafters coming down, +the walls falling in and yet one's treasure in one's arms. Oh, I had not +the heart or the strength to come out of the tumbling house. My mother +did it all, dragged me out, wrapped me up in love and kindness, carried +me away. I don't want you to think I was good for anything. I should +just have lain there and died. One thing, I did not mind dying at all--I +had quite made up my mind. That would not have been so disgraceful as +running away." + +"There is nothing that is disgraceful," said John, "for heaven's sake +don't say so, Nelly. It is unfortunate--beyond words--but that is all. +Nobody can think that you are in any way disgraced. And if you are +allowed just to stay quietly here in your natural home, I suppose you +desire nothing more." + +"What should I desire more, John? You don't suppose I should like to go +and live in the world again, and go into society and all that? I have +had about enough of society. Oh, I want nothing but to be quiet and +unmolested, and bring up my baby. They could not take my baby from me, +John?" + +"I do not think so," he said, with a grave face. + +"You do not--think so? Then you are not _sure_? My mother says dreadful +things, but I cannot believe them. They would never take an infant from +its mother to give it to--to give it to--a man--who could do nothing, +nothing for it. What could a man do with a young child? a man always on +the move, who has no settled home, who has no idea what an infant wants? +John, I know law is inhuman, but surely, surely not so inhuman as that." + +"My dear Nelly," he said, "the law, you know, which, as you say, is +often inhuman, recognizes the child as belonging to the father. He is +responsible for it. For instance, they never could come upon you for its +maintenance or education, or anything of that kind, until it had been +proved that the father----" + +"May I ask," said Elinor, with uplifted head, "of what or of whom you +are talking when you say _it_?" + +It was all John could do not to burst into a peal of aggrieved and +indignant laughter. He who had been brought from town, from his own +comforts such as they were, to be consulted about this brat, this child +which belonged to the dis-Honourable Phil; and Elinor, _Elinor_, of all +people in the world, threw up her head and confronted him with disdain +because he called the brat it, and not him or her, whichever it was. +John recollected well enough that sentence at which he had been so +indignant in the telegram--"child, a boy "--but he affected to himself +not to know what it was for the indulgence of a little contumely: and +the reward he had got was contumely upon his own head. But when he +looked at Elinor's pale face, the eyes so much larger than they ought +to be, with tears welling out unawares, dried up for a moment by +indignation or quick hasty temper, the temper which made her sweeter +words all the more sweet he had always thought--then rising again +unawares under the heavy lids, the lips so ready to quiver, the pathetic +lines about the mouth: when he looked at all these John's heart smote +him. He would have called the child anything, if there had been a sex +superior to him the baby should have it. And what was there that man +could do that he would not do for the deliverance of the mother and the +child? + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + + +It cannot be said that this evening at the Cottage was an agreeable one. +To think that Elinor should be there, and yet that there should be so +little pleasure in the fact that the old party, which had once been so +happy together, should be together again, was bewildering. And yet there +was one member of it who was happy with a shamefaced unacknowledged joy. +To think that that which made her child miserable should make her happy +was a dreadful thought to Mrs. Dennistoun, and yet how could she help +it? Elinor was there, and the baby was there, the new unthought-of +creature which had brought with it a new anxiety, a rush of new thoughts +and wishes. Already everything else in the mind of Elinor's mother began +to yield to the desire to retain these two--the new mother and the +child. But she did not avow this desire. She was mostly silent, +taking little part in the discussion, which was indeed a very curious +discussion, since Elinor, debating the question how she was to abandon +her husband and defend herself against him, never mentioned his name. + +She did not come in to dinner, which Mrs. Dennistoun and John Tatham ate +solemnly alone, saying but little, trying to talk upon indifferent +topics, with that very wretched result which is usual when people at one +of the great crises of life have to make conversation for each other +while servants are about and the restraints of common life are around +them. Whether it is the terrible flood of grief which has to be barred +and kept within bounds so that the functions of life may not altogether +be swept away, or the sharper but warmer pang of anxiety, that which +cuts like a serpent's tooth, yet is not altogether beyond the reach of +hope, what poor pretences these are at interest in ordinary subjects; +what miserable gropings after something that can furnish a thread of +conversation just enough to keep the intercourse of life going! These +two were not more successful than others in this dismal pursuit. Mrs. +Dennistoun found a moment when the meal was over before she left John, +poor pretence! to his wine. "Remember that she will not mention his +name; nothing must be said about him," she said. "How can we discuss him +and what he is likely to do without speaking of him?" said John, with a +little scorn. "I don't know," replied the poor lady. "But you will find +that she will not have his name mentioned. You must try and humour her. +Poor Elinor! For I know that you are sorry for her, John." + +Sorry for her! He sat over his glass of mild claret in the little +dining-room that had once been so bright; even now it was the cosiest +little room, the curtains all drawn, shutting out the cold wind, which +in January searches out every crevice, the firelight blazing fitfully, +bringing out all the pretty warm decorations, the gleam of silver on the +side-board, the pictures on the wall, the mirror over the mantelpiece. +There was nothing wanted under that roof to make it the very home of +domestic warmth and comfort. And yet--sorry for Elinor! That was not +the word. His heart was sore for her, torn away from all her moorings, +drifting back a wreck to the little youthful home, where all had been so +tranquil and so sweet. John had nothing in him of that petty sentiment +which derives satisfaction from a calamity it has foreseen, nor had he +even an old lover's thrill of almost pleasure in the downfall of the +clay idol that has been preferred to his gold. His pain for Elinor, the +constriction in his heart at thought of her position, were unmixed with +any baser feeling. Sorry for her! He would have given all he possessed +to restore her happiness--not in his way, but in the way she had chosen, +even, last abnegation of all, to make the man worthy of her who had +never been worthy. Even his own indignation and wrath against that +man were subservient in John's honest breast to the desire of somehow +finding that it might be possible to whitewash him, nay to reform him, +to make him as near as possible something which she could tolerate for +life. I doubt if a woman, notwithstanding the much more ready power of +sacrifice which women possess, could have so fully desired this renewal +and amendment as John did. It was scarcely too much to say that he hated +Phil Compton: yet he would have given the half of his substance at this +moment to make Phil Compton a good man; nay, even to make him a passable +man--to rehabilitate him in his wife's eyes. + +John stayed a long time over "his wine," the mild glass of claret (or +perhaps it was Burgundy) which was all that was offered him--partly to +think the matter over, but also partly perhaps because he heard certain +faint gurglings, and the passage of certain steps, active and full of +energy, past the door of the room within which he sat, going now to the +drawing-room, now up-stairs, from which he divined that the new inmate +of the house was at present in possession of the drawing-room, and of +all attention there. He smiled at himself for his hostility to the +child, which, of course, was entirely innocent of all blame. Here the +man was inferior to the woman in comprehension and sympathy; for he not +only could not understand how they could possibly obtain solace in their +trouble from this unconscious little creature, but he was angry and +scornful of them for doing so. Phil Compton's brat, no doubt the germ of +a thousand troubles to come, but besides that a nothing, a being without +love or thought, or even consciousness, a mere little animal feeding +and sleeping--and yet the idol and object of all the thoughts of two +intelligent women, capable of so much better things! This irritated John +and disgusted him in the midst of all his anxious thoughts, and his +profound compassion and deliberations how best to help: and it was +not till the passage of certain feeble sounds outside his door, which +proceeded audibly up-stairs, little bleatings in which, if they had come +from a lamb, or even a puppy, John would have been interested, assured +him that the small enemy had disappeared--that he finally rose and +proceeded to "join the ladies," as if he had been holding a little +private debauch all by himself. + +There was a little fragrance and air of the visitor still in the room, a +little disturbance of the usual arrangements, a surreptitious, quite +unjustifiable look as of pleasure in Elinor's eyes, which were less +expanded, and if as liquid as ever, more softly bright than before. +Something white actually lay on the sofa, a small garment which Mrs. +Dennistoun whisked away. They were conscious of John's critical eye +upon them, and received him with a warmth of conciliatory welcome which +betrayed that consciousness. Mrs. Dennistoun drew a chair for him to +the other side of the fire. She took her own place in the middle at the +table with a large piece of white knitting, to which she gave her whole +attention, and thus the deliberation began. + +"Elinor wants to know, John, what you think we ought to do--to make +quite sure--that there will be no risk, about the baby." + +"I must know more of the details of the question before I can give any +advice," said John. + +"John," said Elinor, raising herself in her chair, "here are all the +details that are necessary. I have come away. I have come home, finding +that life was impossible there. That is the whole matter. It may be, +probably it is, my own fault. It is simply that life became impossible. +You know you said that I was not one to endure, to put up with things. I +scoffed at you then, for I did not expect to have anything to put up +with; but you were quite right, and life had become impossible--that is +all there is any need to say." + +"To me, yes," said John, "but not enough, Elinor, if it ever has to come +within the reach of the law." + +"But why should it come within the reach of the law? You, John, you are +a lawyer; you know the rights of everything. I thought you might have +arranged it all. Couldn't you try to make a kind of a bargain? What +bargain? Oh, am I a lawyer, do I know? But you, John, who have it all at +your fingers' ends, who know what can be done and what can't be done, +and the rights that one has and that another has! Dear John! if you were +to try, don't you think that you could settle it all, simply as between +people who don't want any exposure, any struggle, but only to be quiet +and to be let alone?" + +"Elinor, I don't know what I could do with so little information as I +have. To know that you found your life impossible is enough for me. But +you know most people are right in their own eyes. If we have some one +opposed to us who thinks, for instance, that the fault was yours?" + +"Well," she cried, eagerly, "I am willing to accept that: say that the +fault was mine! You could confirm it, that it was likely to be mine. You +could tell them what an impatient person I was, and that you said I +was not one to try an experiment, for I never, never could put up with +anything. John, you could be a witness as well as an advocate. You could +prove that you always expected--and that I am quite, quite willing to +allow that it was I----" + +"Elinor, if I could only make you understand what I mean! I am told that +I am not to mention any names?" + +"No, no names, no names! What is the good? We both know very well what +we mean." + +"But I don't know very well what you mean. Don't you see that if it is +your fault--if the other party is innocent--there can be no reason in +the world why he should consent to renounce his rights. It is not a mere +matter of feeling. There is right in it one way or another--either on +your side or else on the other side; and if it is on the other side, why +should a man give up what belongs to him, why should he renounce what +is--most dear to him?" + +"Oh, John, John, John!" she made this appeal and outcry, clasping her +hands together with a mixture of supplication and impatience. Then +turning to her mother--"Oh, tell him," she cried, "tell him!"--always +clasping those impatient yet beseeching hands. + +"You see, John," said Mrs. Dennistoun, "Elinor knows that the right +is on her side: but she will consent to say nothing about it to any +one--to give herself out as the offender rather--that is to say, as an +ill-disciplined person that cannot put up with anything, as you seem to +have said." + +John laughed with vexation, yet a kind of amusement. "I never said it +nor thought it: still if it pleases her to think so---- The wiser thing +if this separation is final----" + +"If it is final!" Elinor cried. She raised herself up again in her +chair, and contemplated the unfortunate John with a sort of tragic +superiority. "Do you think that of me," she said, "that I would take +such a step as this and that it should not be final? Is dying final? +Could one do such a thing as this and change?" + +"Such things have been done," said John. "Elinor, forgive me. I must say +it--it is all your life that is in the balance, and another life. There +is this infant to be struggled over, perhaps rent in two by those who +should have united to take care of him--and it's a boy, I hear. There's +his name and his after-life to think of--a child without a father, +perhaps the heir of a family to which he will not belong. Elinor--tell +her, aunt, you understand: is it my wish to hand her back to--to---- No, +I'll speak no names. But you know I disliked it always, opposed it always. +It is not out of any favour to--to the other side. But she ought to take +all these things into account. Her own position, and the position in the +future of the child----" + +Elinor had crushed her fan with her hands, and Mrs. Dennistoun let the +knitting with which she had gone on in spite of all fall at last in her +lap. There was a little pause. John Tatham's voice itself had began to +falter, or rather swelled in sound as when a stream swells in flood. + +"I do not go into the question about women and what they ought to put up +with," said John, resuming. "There's many things that law can do nothing +for--and nature in many ways makes it harder for women, I acknowledge. +We cannot change that. Think what her position will be--neither a wife +nor with the freedom of a widow; and the boy, bearing the name of one he +must almost be taught to think badly of--for one of them must be in the +wrong----" + +"He shall never, never hear that name; he shall know nothing, he shall +be free of every bond; his mind shall never be cramped or twisted or +troubled by any--man--if I live." + +This Elinor said, lifting her pale face from her hands with eyes that +flashed and shone with a blaze of excitement and weakness. + +"There already," said John, "is a tremendous condition--if you live! Who +can make sure that they will live? We must all die--some sooner, some +later--and you wearing yourself out with excitement, that never were +strong; you exposing your heart, the weakest organ----" + +"John," said Mrs. Dennistoun, grasping him by the arm, "you are talking +nonsense, you don't know what you are saying. My darling! she was never +weak nor had a feeble heart, nor--anything! She will live to bring up +_his_ children, her baby's children, upon her knees." + +"And what would it matter?" said Elinor--looking at him with clear eyes, +from which the tears had disappeared in the shock of this unlooked-for +suggestion--"suppose I have no more strength than that, suppose I were +to die? you shall be his guardian, John, bring him up a good man; and +his Heavenly Father will take care of him. I am not afraid." + +A man had better not deal with such subjects between two women. What +with Mrs. Dennistoun's indignant protest and Elinor's lofty submission, +John was at his wits' end. "I did not mean to carry things to such a +bitter end as that," he said. "You want to force me into a corner and +make me say things I never meant. The question is serious enough without +that." + +There was again a little pause, and then Elinor, with one of those +changes which are so perplexing to sober-minded people, suddenly turned +to him, holding out both her hands. + +"John--we'll leave that in God's hands whatever is to happen to me. But +in the meantime, while I am living--and perhaps my life depends upon +being quiet and having a little peace and rest. It is not that I care +very much for my life," said Elinor, with that clear, open-eyed look, +like the sky after rain--"I am shipwrecked, John, as you say--but my +mother does, and it's of--some--consequence--to baby; and if it depends +upon whether I am left alone, you are too good a friend to leave me in +the lurch. And you said--one night--whatever happened I was to send for +you." + +John sprang up from his seat, dropping the hands which he had taken into +his own. She was like Queen Katherine, "about to weep," and her breast +strained with the sobbing effort to keep it down. + +"For God's sake," he cried, "don't play upon our hearts like this! I +will do anything--everything--whatever you choose to tell me. Aunt, +don't let her cry, don't let her go on like that. Why, good heavens!" he +cried, bursting himself into a kind of big sob, "won't it be bad for +that little brat of a baby or something if she keeps going on in this +way?" + +Thus John Tatham surrendered at discretion. What could he do more? A +man cannot be played upon like an instrument without giving out sounds +of which he will, perhaps, be ashamed. And this woman appealing to +him--this girl--looking like the little Elinor he remembered, younger +and softer in her weakness and trouble than she had been in her beauty +and pride--was the creature after all, though she would never know it, +whom he loved best in the world. He had wanted to save her, in the +one worldly way of saving her, from open shipwreck, for her own sake, +against every prejudice and prepossession of his mind. But if she would +not have that, why it was his business to save her as she wished, to do +for her whatever she wanted; to act as her agent, her champion, whatever +she pleased. + +He was sent away presently, and accepted his dismissal with thankfulness, +to smoke his cigar. This is one amusing thing in a feminine household. A +man is supposed to want all manner of little indulgences and not to be +able to do without them. He is carefully left alone over "his wine"--the +aforesaid glass of claret; and ways and means are provided for him to +smoke his cigar, whether he wishes it or not. He had often laughed at +these regulations of his careful relatives, but he was rather glad of +them to-night. "I am going to get Elinor to bed," said Mrs. Dennistoun. +"It has, perhaps, been a little too much for her: but when you have +finished your cigar, John, if you will come back to the drawing-room for +a few minutes you will find me here." + +John did not smoke any cigar. It is all very well to be soothed and +consoled by tobacco in your own room, at your own ease: but when you are +put into a lady's dining-room, where everything is nice, and where the +curtains will probably smell of smoke next morning: and when your mind +is exercised beyond even the power of the body to keep still, that is +not a time to enjoy such calm and composing delights. But he walked +about the room in which he was shut up like a wild beast in his cage, +sometimes with long strides from wall to wall, sometimes going round, +with that abstract trick of his, staring at the pictures, as if he did +not know every picture in the place by heart. He forgot that he was to +go back to the drawing-room again after Elinor had been taken to bed, +and it was only after having waited for him a long time that Mrs. +Dennistoun came, almost timidly, knocking at her own dining-room door, +afraid to disturb her visitor in the evening rites which she believed in +so devoutly. She did go in, however, and they stood together over the +fire for a few minutes, he staring down upon the glow at his feet, she +contemplating fitfully, unconsciously, her own pale face and his in the +dim mirror on the mantelpiece. They talked in low tones about Elinor and +her health, and her determination which nothing would change. + +"Of course I will do it," said John; "anything--whatever she may require +of me--there are no two words about that. There is only one thing: I +will not compromise her by taking any initiative. Let us wait and see +what they are going to do----" + +"But, John, might it not be better to disarm him by making overtures? +anything, I would do anything if he would but let her remain +unmolested--and the baby." + +"Do you mean money?" he said. + +Mrs. Dennistoun gave him an abashed look, deprecatory and wistful, but +did not make any reply. + +"Phil Compton is a cad, and a brute, and a scamp of the first water," +said John, glad of some way to get rid of his excitement; "but I do not +think that even he would sell his wife and his child for money. I +wouldn't do him so much discredit as that." + +"Oh, I beg your pardon, John," Mrs. Dennistoun said. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + + +John left the Cottage next morning with the full conduct of the affairs +of the family placed in his hands. The ladies were both a little +doubtful if his plan was the best--they were still frightened for what +might happen, and kept up a watch, as John perceived, fearing every +step that approached, trembling at every shadow. They remembered many +stories, such as rush to the minds of persons in trouble, of similar +cases, of the machinations of the bad father whose only object was to +overcome and break down his wife, and who stole his child away to let it +languish and die. There are some circumstances in which people forget +all the shades of character, and take it for granted that a man who can +go wrong in one matter will act like a very demon in all. This was +doubly strong in Mrs. Dennistoun, a woman full of toleration and +experience; but the issues were so momentous to her, and the possible +results so terrible, that she lost her accustomed good sense. It was +more natural, perhaps, that Elinor, who was weak in health and still +full of the arbitrariness of youth, should entertain this fear--without +considering that Phil was the very last man in the world to burden +himself with an infant of the most helpless age--which seemed to John +an almost quite unreasonable one. Almost--for, of course, he too was +compelled to allow, when driven into a corner, that there was nothing +that an exasperated man might not do. Elinor had come down early to see +her cousin before he left the house, bringing with her in her arms the +little bundle of muslin and flannel upon the safety of which her very +life seemed to depend. John looked at it, and at the small pink face and +unconscious flickering hands that formed the small centre to all those +wrappings, with a curious mixture of pity and repugnance. It was like +any other blind new-born kitten or puppy, he thought, but not so +amusing--no, it was not blind, to be sure. At one moment, without any +warning, it suddenly opened a pair of eyes, which by a lively exercise +of fancy might be supposed like Elinor's, and seemed to look him in the +face, which startled him very much, with a curious notification of the +fact that the thing was not a kitten or a puppy. But then a little +quiver came over the small countenance, and the attendant said it was +"the wind." Perhaps the opening of the eyes was the wind too, or some +other automatic effect. He would not hold out his finger to be clasped +tight by the little flickering fist, as Elinor would have had him. He +would none of those follies; he turned away from it not to allow himself +to be moved by the effect, quite a meretricious one, of the baby in the +young mother's arms. That was all poetry, sentiment, the trick of the +painter, who had found the combination beautiful. Such ideas belonged, +indeed, to the conventional-sacred, and he had never felt any profane +resistance of mind against the San Sisto picture or any of its kind. +But Phil Compton's brat was a very different thing. What did it matter +what became of it? If it were not for Elinor's perverse feeling on +the subject, and that perfectly imbecile prostration of her mother, +a sensible woman who ought to have known better, before the little +creature, he would himself have been rather grateful to Phil Compton for +taking it away. But when he saw the look of terror upon Elinor's face +when an unexpected step came to the door, when he saw her turn and fly, +wrapping the child in her arms, on her very heart as it seemed, bending +over it, covering it so that it disappeared altogether in her embrace, +John's heart was a little touched. It was only a hawking tramp with pins +and needles, who came by mistake to the hall door, but her panic and +anguish of alarm were a spectacle which he could not get out of his +eyes. + +"You see, she never feels safe for a moment. It will be hard to persuade +her that that man, though I've seen him about the roads for years, is +not an emissary--or a spy--to find out if she is here." + +"I am sure it is quite an unnecessary panic," said John. "In the first +place, Phil Compton's the last man to burden himself with a child; in +the second, he's not a brute nor a monster." + +"You called him a brute last night, John." + +"I did not mean in that way. I don't mean to stand by any rash word that +may be forced from me in a moment of irritation. Aunt, get her to give +over that. She'll torture herself to death for nothing. He'll not try to +take the child away--not just now, at all events, not while it is a +mere---- Bring her to her senses on that point. You surely can do that?" + +"If I was quite sure of being in my own," Mrs. Dennistoun said, with a +forlorn smile. "I am as much frightened as she is, John. And, remember, +if there is anything to be done--anything----" + +"There is nothing but a little common sense wanted," said John. But as +he drove away from the door, and saw the hawker with the needles still +about, the ladies had so infected him that it was all he could do to +restrain an inclination to take the vagrant by the collar and throw him +down the combe. + +"Who's that fellow hanging about?" he said to Pearson, who was driving +him; "and what does he want here?" + +"Bless you, sir! that's Joe," Pearson said. "He's after no harm. He's +honest enough as long as there ain't nothing much in his way; and he's +waiting for the pieces as cook gives him once a week when he comes his +rounds. There's no harm in poor Joe." + +"I suppose not, since you say so," said John; "but you know the ladies +are rather nervous, Pearson. You must keep a look-out that no +suspicious-looking person hangs about the house." + +"Bless us! Mr. John," said Pearson, "what are they nervous about?--the +baby? But nobody wants to steal a baby, bless your soul!" + +"I quite agree with you," said John, much relieved (though he considered +Pearson an old fool, in a general way) to have his own opinion confirmed. +"But, all the same, I wish you would be doubly particular not to admit +anybody you don't know; and if any man should appear to bother them send +for me on the moment. Do you hear?" + +"What do you call any man, sir?" said Pearson, smartly. He had ideas of +his own, though he might be a fool. + +"I mean what I say," said John, more sharply still. "Any one that +molests or alarms them. Send me off a telegram at once--'You're wanted!' +That will be quite enough. But don't go with it to the office yourself; +send somebody--there's always your boy about the place--and keep about +like a dragon yourself." + +"I'll do my best, sir," said Pearson, "though I don't know what a dragon +is, except it's the one in the Bible; and that's not a thing anybody +would want about the place." + +It was a comfort to John, after all his troubles, to be able to laugh, +which he did with a heartiness which surprised Pearson, who was quite +unaware that he had made any joke. + +These fears, however, which were imposed upon him by the contagion +of the terrors of the others, soon passed from John's mind. He was +convinced that Phil Compton would take no such step; and that, however +much he might wish his wife to return, the possession of the baby was +not a thing which he would struggle over. It cannot be denied, however, +that he was anxious, and eagerly inspected his letters in the morning, +and looked out for telegrams during the day. Fortunately, however, no +evil tidings came. Mrs. Dennistoun reported unbroken peace in the +Cottage and increasing strength on the part of Elinor; and, in a +parenthesis with a sort of apology, of the baby. Nobody had come near +them to trouble them. Elinor had received no letters. The tie between +her and her husband seemed to be cut as with a knife. "We cannot of +course," she said, "expect this tranquillity to last." + +And it came to be a very curious thought with John, as week after week +passed, whether it was to last--whether Phil Compton, who had never been +supposed wanting in courage, intended to let his wife and child drop +off from him as if they had never been. This seemed a thing impossible +to conceive: but John said to himself with much internal contempt that +he knew nothing of the workings of the mind of such a man, and that it +might for aught he knew be a common incident in life with the Phil +Comptons thus to shake off their belongings when they got tired of them. +The fool! the booby! to get tired of Elinor! That rumour which flies +about the world so strangely and communicates information about +everybody to the vacant ear, to be retailed to those whom it may +concern, provided him, as the days went by, with many particulars which +he had not been able to obtain from Elinor. Phil, it appeared, had gone +to Glenorban--the great house to which he had been invited--alone, with +an excuse for his wife, whose state of health was not appropriate to a +large party, and had stayed there spending Christmas with a brilliant +houseful of guests, among whom was the American lady who had captivated +him. Phil had paid one visit to the lodge to see Elinor, by her mother's +summons, at the crisis of her illness, but had not hesitated to go away +again when informed that the crisis was over. Mrs. Dennistoun never told +what had passed between them on that occasion, but the gossips of the +club were credibly informed that she had bullied and stormed at Phil, +after the fashion of mothers-in-law, till she had driven him away. Upon +which he had returned to his party and flirted with Mrs. Harris more +than ever. John discovered also that the party having dispersed some +time ago, Phil had gone abroad. Whether in ignorance of his wife's +flight or not he could not discover; but it was almost impossible to +believe that he would have gone to Monte Carlo without finding out +something about Elinor--how and where she was. But whether this was the +cause of his utter silence, or whether it was the habit of men of his +class to treat such tremendous incidents in domestic life with levity, +John Tatham could not make out. He was congratulating himself, however, +upon keeping perfectly quiet, and leaving the conduct of the matter to +the other party, when the silence was disturbed in what seemed to him +the most curious way. + +One afternoon when he returned from the court he was aware, when he +entered the outer office in which his clerk abode, of what he described +afterwards as a smell fit to knock you down. It would have been +described more appropriately in a French novel as the special perfume, +subtle and exquisite, by which a beautiful woman may be recognised +wherever she goes. It was, indeed, neither more nor less than the +particular scent used by Lady Mariamne, who came forward with a sweep +and rustle of her draperies, and the most ingratiating of her smiles. + +"It appears to be fated that I am to wait for you," she said. "How do +you do, Mr. Tatham? Take me out of this horrible dirty place. I am quite +sure you have some nice rooms in there." She pointed as she spoke to +the inner door, and moved towards it with the air of a person who knew +where she was going, and was fully purposed to be admitted. John said +afterwards, that to think of this woman's abominable scent being left in +his room in which he lived (though he also received his clients in it) +was almost more than he could bear. But, in the meantime, he could do +nothing but open the door to her, and offer her his most comfortable +chair. + +She seated herself with all those little tricks of movement which are +also part of the stock-in-trade of the pretty woman. Lady Mariamne's +prettiness was not of a kind which had the slightest effect upon John, +but still it was a kind which received credit in society, being the +product of a great deal of pains and care and exquisite arrangement and +combination. She threw her fur cloak back a little, arranged the strings +of her bonnet under her chin, which threw up the daintiness and rosiness +of a complexion about which there were many questions among her closest +friends. She shook up, with what had often been commented upon as the +prettiest gesture, the bracelets from her wrists. She arranged the veil, +which just came over the tip of her delicate nose, she put out her foot +as if searching for a footstool--which John made haste to supply, though +he remained unaffected otherwise by all these pretty preliminaries. + +"Sit down, Mr. Tatham," then said Lady Mariamne. "It makes me wretchedly +uncomfortable, as if you were some dreadful man waiting to be paid or +something, to see you standing there." + +Though John's first impulse was that of wrath to be thus requested to +sit down in his own chambers, the position was amusing as well as +disagreeable, and he laughed and drew a chair towards his writing-table, +which was as crowded and untidy as the writing-table of a busy man +usually is, and placed himself in an attitude of attention, though +without asking any question. + +"Well," said Lady Mariamne, slowly drawing off her glove; "you know, of +course, why I have come, Mr. Tatham--to talk over with you, as a man who +knows the world, this deplorable business. You see it has come about +exactly as I said. I knew what would happen: and though I am not one of +those people who always insist upon being proved right, you remember +what I said----" + +"I remember that you said something--to which, perhaps, had I thought I +should have been called upon to give evidence as to its correctness--I +should have paid more attention, Lady Mariamne." + +"How rude you are!" she said, with her whole interest concentrated upon +the slow removal of her glove. Then she smoothed a little, softly, the +pretty hand which was thus uncovered, and said, "How red one's hands +get in this weather," and then laughed. "You don't mean to tell me, Mr. +Tatham," she said, suddenly raising her eyes to his, "that, considering +what a very particular person we were discussing, you can't remember +what I said?" + +John was obliged to confess that he remembered more or less the gist of +her discourse, and Lady Mariamne nodded her head many times in +acceptance of his confession. + +"Well," she said, "you see what it has come to. An open scandal, a +separation, and everything broken up. For one thing, I knew if she did +not give him his head a little that's what would happen. I don't believe +he cares a brass farthing for that other woman. She makes fun of +everybody, and that amused him. And it amused him to put Nell in a +state--that as much as anything. Why couldn't she see that and learn to +_prendre son parti_ like other people? She was free to say, 'You go your +way and I'll go mine:' the most of us do that sooner or later: but to +make a vulgar open rupture, and go off--like this." + +"I fail to see the vulgarity in it," said John. + +"Oh, of course; everything she does is perfect to you. But just think, +if it had been your own case--followed about and bullied by a jealous +woman, in a state of health that of itself disgusts a man----" + +"Lady Mariamne, you must pardon me if I refuse to listen to anything +more of this kind," said John, starting to his feet. + +"Oh, I warn you, you'll be compelled to listen to a great deal more if +you're her agent as I hear! Phil will find means of compelling you to +hear if you don't like to take your information from me." + +"I should like to know how Mr. Phil Compton will succeed in compelling +me--to anything I don't choose to do." + +"You think, perhaps, because there's no duelling in this country he +can't do anything. But there is, all the same. He would shame you into +it--he could say you were--sheltering yourself----" + +"I am not a man to fight duels," said John, very angry, but smiling, "in +any circumstances, even were such a thing not utterly ridiculous; but +even a fighting man might feel that to put himself on a level with the +dis-Hon----" + +He stopped himself as he said it. How mean it was--to a +woman!--descending to their own methods. But Lady Mariamne was too quick +for him. + +"Oh," she said; "so you've heard of that, a nickname that no +gentleman----" then she too paused and looked at him, with a momentary +flush. He was going to apologize abjectly, when with a slight laugh she +turned the subject aside. + +"Pretty fools we are, both of us, to talk such nonsense. I didn't come +here carrying Phil on my shoulders, to spring at your throat if you +expressed your opinion. Look here--tell me, don't let us go beating +about the bush, Mr. Tatham--I suppose you have seen Nell?" + +"I know my cousin's mind, at least," he said. + +"Well, then, just tell me as between friends--there's no need we should +quarrel because they have done so. Tell me this, is she going to get up +a divorce case----" + +"A divorce----!" + +"Because," said Lady Mariamne, "she'll find it precious difficult to +prove anything. I know she will. She may prove the flirting and so +forth--but what's that? You can tell her from me, it wants somebody far +better up to things than she is to prove anything. I warn her as a +friend she'll not get much good by that move." + +"I am not aware," said John, "whether Mrs. Compton has made up her mind +about the further steps----" + +"Then just you advise her not," cried Lady Mariamne. "It doesn't matter +to me: I shall be none the worse whatever she does: but if you are her +true friend you will advise her not. She might tell what she thinks, but +that's no proof. Mr. Tatham, I know you have great influence with Nell." + +"Not in a matter like this," said John, with great gravity. "Of course +she alone can be the judge." + +"What nonsense you talk, you men! Of course she is not the least the +judge, and of course she will be guided by you." + +"You may be sure she shall have the best advice that I can give," John +said with a bow. + +"You want me to go, I see," said Lady Mariamne; "you are dreadfully +rude, standing up all the time to show me I had better go." Hereupon she +recommenced her little _manège_, drawing on her glove, letting her +bracelets drop again, fastening the fur round her throat. "Well, Mr. +Tatham," she said, "I hope you mean to have the civility to see after my +carriage. I can't go roaming about hailing it as if it were a hansom +cab--in this queer place." + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII. + + +John went down to Windyhill that evening. His appearance alarmed the +little household more than words could say. As he was admitted at once +by the servants, delighted to see him, he walked in suddenly into the +midst of a truly domestic scene. The baby lay on Elinor's knee in the +midst of a mass of white wrappings, kicking out a pair of pink little +legs in the front of the fire. Elinor herself was seated on a very low +chair, and illuminated by the cheerful blaze, which threw a glare upon +her countenance, and called out unthought-of lights in her hair, there +was no appearance in her looks of anxiety or trouble. She was altogether +given up to the baby and the joy of its new life. The little kicking +limbs, the pleasure of the little creature in the warmth, the curling +of its rosy little toes in the agreeable sensation of the heat, were +more to Elinor and to her mother, who was kneeling beside her on the +hearth-rug, than the most refined and lofty pleasures in the world. The +most lofty of us have to come down to those primitive sources of bliss, +if we are happy enough to have them placed in our way. The greatest poet +by her side, the music of the spheres sounding in her ear, would not +have made Elinor forget her troubles like the stretching out towards the +fire of those little pink toes. + +When the door opened, and the voice and step of a man--dreaded +sounds--were audible, a thrill of terror ran over this little group. +Mrs. Dennistoun sprang to her feet and placed herself between the +intruder and the young mother, while Elinor gathered up, covering him +all over, so that he disappeared altogether, her child in her arms. + +"It is John," said Mrs. Dennistoun. "God be thanked, it is only John." + +But Elinor, quite overcome by the shock, burst suddenly into tears, to +which the baby responded by a vigorous cry, not at all relishing the +sudden huddling up among its shawls to which it had been subjected. It +may be supposed what an effect this cloudy side of the happiness, which +he had not been able to deny to himself made a very pretty scene, had +upon John. He said, not without a little offence, "I am sure I beg your +pardon humbly. I'll go away." + +Elinor turned round her head, smiling through her tears. "It was only +that you gave me a fright," she said. "I am quite right again; don't, +oh, don't go away! unless you object to the sight of baby, and to hear +him cry; but he'll not cry now, any more than his silly mother. Mamma, +make John sit down and tell us--Oh, I am sure he has something to tell +us--Perhaps I took comfort too soon; but the very sight of John is a +protection and a strength," she said, holding out her hand to him. This +sudden change of front reduced John, who had been perhaps disposed for a +moment to stand on his dignity, to utter subjection. He neither said nor +even thought a word against the baby, who was presently unfolded again, +and turned once more the toes of comfort towards the fire. He did not +approach too near, feeling that he had no particular share in the scene, +and indeed cut an almost absurd figure in the midst of that group, but +sat behind, contemplating it from a little distance against the fire. +The evening had grown dark by this time, but the two women, absorbed +by their worship, had wanted no light. It had happened to John by an +extreme piece of luck to catch the express train almost as soon as Lady +Mariamne had left him, and to reach the station at Hurrymere before the +February day was done. + +"You have something to tell us, John--good news or bad?" Mrs. Dennistoun +said. + +"Good; or I should not have come like this unannounced," he said. "The +post is quick enough for bad. I think you may be quite at your ease +about the child--no claim will be made on the child. Elinor, I think, +will not be disturbed if--she means to take no steps on her side." + +"What steps?" said Mrs. Dennistoun. Elinor turned her head to look at +him anxiously over the back of her chair. + +"I have had a visit this afternoon," he said. + +"From--" Elinor drew a long hurried breath. She said no name, but it was +evident that one was on her lips--a name she never meant to pronounce +more, but to which her whole being thrilled still even when it was +unspoken. She looked at him full of eagerness to hear yet with a hand +uplifted, as if to forbid any utterance. + +"From Lady Mariamne." + +How her countenance fell! She turned round again, and bent over her +baby. It was a pang of acute disappointment, he could not but see, that +went through her, though she would not have allowed him to say that +name. Strange inconsistency! it ran over John too with a sense of keen +indignation, as if he had taken from her an electric touch. + +"----Whose object in coming to me was to ascertain whether you intended +to bring a suit for--divorce." + +A cry rang through the room. Elinor turned upon him for a moment a face +blazing with hot and painful colour. The lamp had been brought in, and +he saw the fierce blush and look of horror. Then she turned round and +buried it in her hands. + +"Divorce!" said Mrs. Dennistoun. "Elinor----! To drag her private +affairs before the world. Oh, John, John, that could not be. You would +not wish that to be." + +"I!" he cried with a laugh of tuneless mirth. "Is it likely that I would +wish to drag Elinor before the world?" + +Elinor did not say anything, but withdrew one hand from her burning +cheek and put it into his. These women treated John as if he were a man +of wood. What he might be feeling, or if he were feeling anything, did +not enter their minds. + +"It was like her," said Elinor after a time in a low hurried voice, "to +think of that. She is the only one who would think of it. As if I had +ever thought or dreamed----" + +"It is possible, however," he said, "that it might be reasonable enough. +I don't speak to Elinor," who had let go his hand hastily, "but to you, +aunt. If it is altogether final, as she says, to be released would +perhaps be better, from a bond that was no bond." + +"John, John, would you have her add shame to pain?" + +"The shame would not be to her, aunt." + +"The shame is to every one concerned--to every one! My Elinor's name, +her dear name, dragged through all that mud! She a party, perhaps, to +revelations--Oh, never, never! We would bear anything rather." + +"This of course," said John, "is perhaps a still more bitter punishment +for the other side." + +She looked round at him again. Looking up with a look of pale horror, +her eyelids in agonised curves over her eyes, her mouth quivering. "What +did you say, John?" + +"I said it might be a more bitter punishment still for--the other side." + +Elinor lifted up her baby to her breast, raising herself with a new +dignity, with her head high. "I meant no punishment," she said, "I want +none. I have left--what killed me--behind me; many things, not one only. +I have brought my boy away that he may never--never-- But if it would be +better that--another should be free--" + +"I will never give my consent to it, Elinor." + +"Nor I with my own mind; but if it is vindictive--if it is revenge, +mother! I am not alone to think of myself. If it were better for ---- +that he should be free; speak to John about it and tell me. I cannot, +cannot discuss it. I will leave it all to John and you. It will kill me! +but what does that matter?--it is not revenge that I seek." + +She turned with the baby pressed to her breast and walked away, her +every movement showing the strain and excitement of her soul. + +"Why did you do this, John, without at least consulting me? You have +thrown a new trouble into her mind. She will never, never do this +thing--nor would I permit it. There are some things in which I must take +a part. I could not forbid her marriage; God grant that I had had the +strength to do it--but this I will forbid, to expose her to the whole +world, when everything we have done has been with the idea of concealing +what had happened. Never, never. I will never consent to it, John." + +"I had no intention of proposing such a step; but the other side--as we +are bound to call him--are frightened about it. And when I saw her look +up, so young still, so sweet, with all her life before her, and thought +how she must spend it--alone; with no expanding, no development, in this +cottage or somewhere else, a life shipwrecked, a being so capable, so +full of possibilities--lost." + +"I have spent my life in this cottage," said Mrs. Dennistoun. "My +husband died when I was thirty--my life was over, and still I was young; +but I had Elinor. There were some who pitied me too, but their pity was +uncalled for. Elinor will live like her mother, she has her boy." + +"But it is different; you cannot but see the difference." + +"Yes, I see it--it is different; but not so different that my Elinor's +name should be placarded about the streets and put in all the +newspapers. Oh, never, never, John. If the man suffers, it is his fault. +She will suffer, and it is not her fault; but I will not, to release +him, drag my child before the world." + +Mrs. Dennistoun was so much excited that she began to pace about the +room, she who was usually so sober and self restrained. She had borne +much, but this she was unable even to contemplate with calm. For once in +her life she had arrived at something which she would not bear. John +felt his own position very strange sitting looking on as a spectator, +while this woman, usually so self-controlled, showed her impatience of +circumstances and fate. It was ruefully comic that this should be, so to +speak, his doing, though he was the last in the world to desire any +exposure of Elinor, or to have any sympathy with those who sought +justice for themselves or revenge on others at such a cost. + +"I was rash perhaps to speak as I did," he said; "I had no intention of +doing it when I came. It was a mere impulse, seeing Elinor: but you must +know that I agree with you perfectly. I see that Elinor's lot is fixed +anyhow. I believe that no decree of a court would make any difference to +her, and she would not change the name that is the child's name. All +that I recognise. And one thing more, that neither you nor Elinor has +recognised. They--he is afraid of any proceedings--I suppose I may +mention him to you. It's rather absurd, don't you think, speaking of a +fellow of that sort, or rather, not speaking of him at all, as if his +name was sacred? He is afraid of proceedings--whatever may be the +cause." + +"John, can't you understand that she cannot bear to speak of him, a man +she so fought for, against us all? And now her eyes are opened, she is +undeceived, she knows him all through and through, more, far more, than +we do. She opened her mind to me once, and only once. It was not _that_ +alone; oh, no, no. There are things that rankle more than that, something +he did before they were married, and made her help him to conceal. +Something dishon--I can't say the word, John." + +"Oh," said John, grimly, "you need not mind me." + +"Well, the woman--I blush to have to speak to you even of such a +thing--the woman, John, was not the worst. She almost might, I think, +have forgiven that. It was one thing after another, and that, that first +business the worst of all. She found it out somehow, and he had made her +take a part--I can't tell what. She would never open her lips on the +subject again. Only that once it all burst forth. Oh, divorce! What +would that do to her, besides the shame? You understand some things, +John," said Mrs. Dennistoun, with a smile, "though you are a man. She +would never do anything to give herself a name different from her +child's." + +"Yes," said John, with a laugh, "I think I understand a thing or two, +though, as you say, my dear aunt, I am only a man. However, it is +just as well I am that imperfect creature, to take care of you. It +understands the tactics of the wicked better than you do. And now you +must persuade Elinor and persuade yourself of what I came here on +purpose to tell you--not to disturb you, as I have been so unfortunate +as to do. You are perfectly safe from him. I will not let the enemy know +your sentiments, or how decided you are on the subject. I will perhaps, +if you will let me, crack the whip a little over their heads, and keep +them in a pleasing uncertainty. But as long as he is afraid that she +will take proceedings against him, he will take none, you may be sure, +against her. So you may throw aside all your precautions and be happy +over your treasure in your own way." + +"Thank God for what you say, John; you take a weight off my heart. But +happy--how can you speak of being happy after such a catastrophe?" + +"I thought I came in upon a very happy little scene. It might be only +pretence, but it looked uncommonly like the real thing." + +"You mean the baby, John, the dear infant that knows no harm. He does +take off our thoughts a little, and enable us to bear----" + +"Oh, aunt, don't be a hypocrite; that was never a fault of yours. +Confess that with all your misery about Elinor you are happy to have her +here and her child--notwithstanding everything--happy as you have not +been for many a day." + +She sat down by him and gave him her hand. "John, to be a man you have +wonderful insight, and it's I who am a very, very imperfect creature. +You don't think worse of me to be glad to have her, even though it is +purchased by such misery and trouble? God knows," cried the poor lady, +drying her eyes, "that I would give her up to-morrow, and with joy, and +consent never to see her again, if that would be for her happiness. +John! I've not thrust myself upon them, have I, nor done anything +against him, nor said a word? But now that she is here, and the baby, +and all to myself--which I never hoped--would I not be an ungrateful +woman if I did not thank God for it, John?" + +"You are an excellent special pleader, aunt," he said, with a laugh, "as +most women whom I have known are: and I agree with you in everything. +You behaved to them, while it was _them_, angelically: you effaced +yourself, and I fully believe you never said a word against him. Also, I +believe that if circumstances changed, if anything happened to make her +see that she could go back to him----" + +Mrs. Dennistoun started in spite of herself, and pressed her hands +together, with a half sob of dismay. + +"I don't think it likely, but if it were so, you would sacrifice +yourself again--I haven't a doubt of it. Why, then, set up this piece of +humbug to me who know you so well, and pretend that you are not very +happy for the moment? You are, and you have a good right to be: and I +say enjoy it, my dear aunt; take all the good of it, you will have no +trouble from him." + +"You think so, you really think so, John?" + +"I have no doubt of it: and you must persuade Elinor. Don't think I am +making light of the situation: you'll have plenty to trouble you no +doubt, when that little shaver grows up----" + +"John!" + +"Well, he is a little shaver (whatever that may mean I'm sure I don't +know), if he were a little prince. When he grows up you will have your +business laid out for you, and I don't envy you the clearing up----" + +"John don't speak as if a time would come when you would not stand by +us. I mean stand by Elinor." + +"Your first phrase was much the best. I will stand by you both as a +matter of course." + +"You must consider I shall be an old woman then; and who knows if I may +live to see the poor little darling grow up?" + +"The poor little darling may never grow up, and none of us may live to +see it. One prediction is as good as another: but I think better things +of you, aunt, than that you would go and die and desert Elinor, unless +'so be as you couldn't help it,' as Pearson says. But, however, in the +meantime, dying of anybody is not in the question, and I hope both you +and she will take as much pleasure out of the baby and be as happy as +circumstances will allow. And I'll tell Pearson that there is no need +for him to act the dragon--either the Bible one, whom he did not think +you would like to have about the house, or any other--for the danger is +over. Trust me at least for that." + +"I trust you for everything, John; but," added Mrs. Dennistoun, "I +wouldn't say anything to Pearson. If you've told him to be a dragon, let +him be a dragon still. I am sure you are right, and I will tell Elinor +so, and comfort her heart; but we may as well keep a good look out, and +our eyes about us, all the same." + +"They are sure I am right, but think it better to go on as if I +were wrong," John said to himself as he went to dress for dinner. +And while he went through this ceremony, he had a great many +thoughts--half-impatient, half-tender--of the wonderful ways of women +which are so amazing to men in general, as the ways of men are amazing +to women, and will be so, no doubt, as long as the world goes on. The +strange mixture of the wise and the foolish, the altogether heroic, +and the involuntarily fictitious, struck his keen perception with +a humourous understanding, and amusement, and sympathy. That Mrs. +Dennistoun should pose a little as a sufferer while she was unmitigatedly +happy in the possession of Elinor and the child, and be abashed when +she was forced to confess how ecstatic was the fearful joy which she +snatched in the midst of danger, was strange enough. But that Elinor, +at this dreadful crisis of her life, when every bond was rent asunder, +and all that is ordinarily called happiness wrecked for ever, should be +moved to the kind of rapture he had seen in her face by the reaching out +and curling in of those little pink toes in the warm light of the fire, +was inconceivable--a thing that was not in any philosophy. She had made +shipwreck of her life. She had torn the man whom she loved out of her +heart, and fled from his neglect and treachery--a fugitive to her +mother's house. And yet as she sat before the fire with this little +infant cooing in the warmth--like a puppy or a little pig, or any +other little animal you can suggest--this was the thought of the +irreverent man--there was a look of almost more than common happiness, +of blessedness, in her face. Who can fathom these things? They were at +least beyond the knowledge, though not the sympathy, of this very rising +member of the bar. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + + +Thus there came a sort of settling down and composure of affairs. Phil +Compton and all belonging to him disappeared from the scene, and Elinor +returned to all the habits of her old life--all the habits, with one +extraordinary and incalculable addition which changed all these habits. +The baby--so inconsiderable a little creature, not able to show a +feeling, or express a thought, or make even a tremulous step from one +pair of loving arms to another--an altogether helpless little bundle, +but nevertheless one who had already altered the existence of the +cottage and its inhabitants, and made life a totally different thing for +them. Can I tell how this was done? No doubt for the wisest objects, to +guard the sacred seed of the race as mere duty could never guard it, +rendering it the one thing most precious in the world to those to whom +it is confided--at least to most of them. When that love fails, then is +the deepest abyss of misery reached. I do not say that Elinor was happy +in this dreadful breaking up of her life, or that her heart did +not go back, with those relentings which are the worst part of every +disruption, to the man who had broken her heart and unsettled her +nature. The remembrance of him in his better moments would flash upon +her, and bear every resentment away. Dreadful thoughts of how she might +herself have done otherwise, have rendered their mutual life better, +would come over her; and next moment recollections still more terrible +of what he had done and said, the scorn she had borne, the insults, the +neglect, and worse of all the complicity he had forced upon her, by +which he had made her guilty when she knew and feared nothing--when +these thoughts overcame her, as they did twenty times in a day, for it +is the worst of such troubles that they will not be settled by one +struggle, but come back and back, beginning over again at the same +point, after we have wrestled through them, and have thought that we had +come to a close--when these thoughts, I say, overcame her, she would +rush to the room in which the baby held his throne, and press him to the +heart which was beating so hotly, till it grew calm. And in the midst of +all to sit down by the fire with the little atom of humanity in her lap, +and see it spread and stretch its rosy limbs, would suffice to bring +again to her face that beatitude which had filled John Tatham with +wonder unspeakable. She took the baby and laid him on her heart to take +the pain away: and so after a minute or two there was no more question +of pain, but of happiness, and delicious play, and the raptures of +motherhood. How strange were these things! She could not understand it +herself, and fortunately did not try, but accepted that solace provided +by God. As for Mrs. Dennistoun, she made no longer any pretences to +herself, but allowed herself, as John had advised, to take her +blessedness frankly without hypocrisy. When Elinor's dear face was +veiled by misery her mother was sympathetically miserable, but at all +other moments her heart sang for joy. She had her child again, and she +had her child's child, an endless occupation, amusement, and delight. +All this might come to an end--who can tell when?--but for the moment +her house was no more lonely, the requirements of her being were +satisfied. She had her Elinor--what more was to be said? And yet there +was more to be said, for in addition there was the boy. + +This was very well so far as the interior of the house and of their +living was concerned, but very soon other difficulties arose. It had +been Mrs. Dennistoun's desire, when she returned home, to communicate +some modified version of what had happened to the neighbours around. She +had thought it would not only be wise, but easier for themselves, that +their position should be understood in the little parish society which, +if it did not know authoritatively, would certainly inquire and +investigate and divine, with the result of perhaps believing more than +the truth, perhaps setting up an entirely fictitious explanation which +it would be impossible to set aside, and very hard to bear. It is the +worst of knowing a number of people intimately, and being known by them +from the time your children were in their cradles, that every domestic +incident requires some sort of explanation to this close little circle +of spectators. But Elinor, who had not the experience of her mother in +such matters, nor the knowledge of life, made a strenuous opposition to +this. She would not have anything said. It was better, she thought, to +leave it to their imagination, if they chose to interfere with their +neighbours' concerns and imagine anything. "But why should they occupy +themselves about us? And they have no imaginations," she said, with a +contempt of her neighbours which is natural to young people, though very +unjustifiable. "But, my darling," Mrs. Dennistoun would say, "the +position is so strange. There are not many young women who--And there +must be some way of accounting for it. Let us just tell them----" + +"For heaven's sake, mamma, tell them nothing! I have come to pay you +a long visit after my neglect of you for these two years, which, of +course, they know well enough. What more do they want to know? It is a +very good reason: and while baby is so young of course it is far better +for him to be in a settled home, where he can be properly attended to, +than moving about. Isn't that enough?" + +"Well, Elinor; at least you will let me say as much as that----" + +"Oh, they can surely make it out for themselves. What is the use of +always talking a matter over, to lead to a little more, and a little +more, till the appetite for gossip is satisfied? Surely, in our +circumstances, least said is soonest mended," Elinor said, with that air +of superior understanding which almost always resides in persons of the +younger generation. Mrs. Dennistoun said no more to her, but she did +take advantage of the explanation thus suggested. She informed the +anxious circle at the Rectory that Elinor had come to her on a long +visit, "partly for me, and partly for the baby," she said, with one +of those smiles which are either the height of duplicity or the most +pathetic evidence of self-control, according as you choose to regard +them. "She thinks she has neglected her mother, though I am sure I have +never blamed her; and she thinks--of which there can be no doubt--that +to carry an infant of that age moving about from place to place is the +worst thing in the world; and that I am very thankful she should think +so, I need not say." + +"It is very nice for you, dear Mrs. Dennistoun," Mrs. Hudson said. + +"And a good thing for Elinor," said Alice, "for she is looking very +poorly. I have always heard that fashionable life took a great deal out +of you if you are not quite brought up to it. I am sure I couldn't +stand it," the young lady said with fervour, who had never had that +painful delight in her power. + +"That is all very well," said the Rector, rubbing his hands, "but what +does Mr. Compton say to it? I don't want to say a word against your +arrangements, my dear lady, but you know there must be some one on the +husband's side. Now, I am on the husband's side, and I am sorry for the +poor young man. I hope he is going to join his wife. I hope, excuse me +for saying it, that Elinor--though we are all so delighted to see +her--will not forsake him, for too long." + +And then Mrs. Dennistoun felt herself compelled to embroider a little +upon her theme. + +"He has to be a great deal abroad during this year," she said; "he has a +great many things to do. Elinor does not know when he will be--home. +That is one reason----" + +"To be sure, to be sure," the Rector said, rubbing his hands still +more, and coming to her aid just as she was breaking down. "Something +diplomatic, of course. Well, we must not inquire into the secrets of the +State. But what an ease to his mind, my dear lady, to think that his +wife and child will be safe with you while he's away!" + +Mary Dale not being present could not of course say anything. She was a +person who was always dreadfully well informed. It was a comfort +unspeakable that at this moment she was away! + +This explanation made the spring pass quietly enough, but not without +many questions that brought the blood to Elinor's face. When she was +asked by some one, for the first time, "When do you expect Mr. Compton, +Elinor?" the sudden wild flush of colour which flooded her countenance +startled the questioner as much as the question did herself. "Oh, I beg +your pardon!" said the injudicious but perfectly innocent seeker for +information. I fear that Elinor fell upon her mother after this, and +demanded to know what she had said. But as Mrs. Dennistoun was innocent +of anything but having said that Philip was abroad, there was no +satisfaction to be got out of that. Some time after, one of the Miss +Hills congratulated Elinor, having seen in the papers that Mr. Compton +was returning to town for the season. "I suppose, dear Elinor, we shan't +have you with us much longer," this lady said. And then it became known +at the Cottage that Mary Dale was returning to the Rectory. This was the +last aggravation, and Elinor, who had now recovered her strength and +energy, and temper along with it, received the news with an outburst of +impatience which frightened her mother. "You may as well go through the +parish and ring the bell, and tell everybody everything," she said. +"Mary Dale will have heard all, and a great deal more than all; she will +come with her budget, and pour it out far and wide; she will report +scenes that never took place: and quarrels, and all that--that woman +insinuated to John--and she will be surrounded with people who will +shake their heads, and sink their voices when we come in and say, 'Poor +Elinor!' I cannot bear it, I cannot bear it," she cried. + +"My darling! that was bound to come sooner or later. We must set our +faces like a rock, and look as if we were unaware of anything----" + +"I cannot look as if I were unaware. I cannot meet all their cruel eyes. +I can see, now, the smile on Mary Dale's face, that will say, 'I told +you so.' I shall hear her say it even when I am in my room, with the +combe between. I know exactly how she will say it--'If Elinor had +listened to me----'" + +"Elinor," said poor Mrs. Dennistoun, "I cannot contradict you, dear. It +will be so--but none of them are cruel, not even Mary Dale. They will +make their remarks--who could help it? we should ourselves if it were +some one else's case: but they will not be cruel--don't think so--they +will be full of sympathy----" + +"Which is a great deal worse," Elinor said, in her unreason; "the one +might be borne, but the other I will not endure. Sympathy, yes! They +will all be sorry for me--they will say they knew how it would be. Oh, I +know I have not profited as I ought by what has happened to me. I am +unsubdued. I am as impatient and as proud as ever. It is quite true, but +it cannot be mended. It is more than I can bear." + +"My darling," said her mother, again. "We all say that in our trouble, +and yet we know that we have got to bear it all the same. It is +intolerable--one says that a thousand times--and yet it has to be put up +with. All the time that we have been flattering ourselves that nobody +took any notice it has been a delusion, Elinor. How could it be +otherwise? We must set our faces----" + +"Not I, mamma!" she said. "Not I! I must go away----" + +"Go away? Elinor!" + +"Among strangers; where nobody has heard of me before--where nobody can +make any remark. To live like this, among a crowd of people who think +they ought to know everything that one is doing--who are nothing to you, +and yet whom you stand in awe of and must explain everything to!--it is +this that is intolerable. I cannot, cannot bear it. Mother, I will take +my baby, and I will go away----" + +"Where?" said Mrs. Dennistoun, with all the colour fading out of her +face. What panic had taken her I cannot tell. She grew pale to her lips, +and the words were almost inaudible which she breathed forth. I think +she thought for a moment that Elinor's heart had turned, that she was +going back to her husband to find refuge with him from the strife of +tongues which she could not encounter alone. All the blood went back +upon the mother's heart--yet she set herself to suppress all emotion, +and if this should be so, not to oppose it--for was it not the thing of +all others to be desired--the thing which everybody would approve, the +reuniting of those whom God had put together? Though it might be death +to her, not a word of opposition would she say. + +"Where? how can I tell where--anywhere, anywhere out of the world," +cried Elinor, in the boiling tide of her impatience and wretchedness, +"where nobody ever heard of us before, where there will be no one to +ask, no one to require a reason, where we should be free to move when we +please and do as we please. Let me go, mother. It seemed too dear, too +peaceful to come home, but now home itself has become intolerable. I +will take my baby and I will go--to the farthest point the railway can +take me to--with no servant to betray me, not even an address. Mother, +let me go away and be lost; let me be as if I had never been." + +"And me--am I to remain to bear the brunt behind?" + +"And you--mamma! Oh, I am the most unworthy creature. I don't deserve to +have you, I that am always giving you pain. Why should I unroot you from +your place where you have lived so long--from your flowers, and your +landscape, and your pretty rooms that were always a comfort to think of +in that horrible time when I was away? I always liked to think of you +here, happy and quiet, in the place you had chosen." + +"Flowers and landscapes are pretty things," said Mrs. Dennistoun, whose +colour had begun to come again a little, "but they don't make up for +one's children. We must not do anything rashly, Elinor; but if what you +mean is really that you will go away to a strange place among +strangers----" + +"What else could I mean?" Elinor said, and then she in her turn grew +pale. "If you thought I could mean that I would go--back----" + +"Oh, my darling, my darling! God knows if we are right or wrong--I not +to advise you so, or you not to take my advice. Elinor, it is my duty, +and I will say it though it were to break my heart. There only could you +avoid this strife of tongues. John spoke the truth. He said, as the +boy grew up we should have--many troubles. I have known women endure +everything that their children might grow up in a natural situation, +in their proper sphere. Think of this--I am saying it against my own +interest, against my own heart. But think of it, Elinor. Whatever you +might have to bear, you would be in your natural place." + +Elinor received this agitated address standing up, holding her head +high, her nostrils expanded, her lips apart. "Have you quite done, +mother?" she said. + +Mrs. Dennistoun made an appealing movement with her hands, and sank, +without any power to add a word, into a chair. + +"I am glad you said it against your heart. Now you must feel that your +conscience is clear. Mother, if I had to wander the world from place to +place, without even a spot of ground on which to rest my foot, I would +never, never do what you say. What! take my child to grow up in that +tainted air; give him up to be taught such things as they teach! Never, +never, never! His natural place, did you say? I would rather the slums +of London were his natural place. He would have some chance there! If I +could bear it for myself, yet I could not for him--for him most of all. +I will take him up in my arms. Thank God, I am strong now and can carry +him--and go away--among strangers, I don't care where--where there can +be no questions and no remarks." + +"But not without me, Elinor!" + +"Oh, mother, mother! What a child I am to you, to rend your heart as I +have done, and now to tear you out of your house and home!" + +"My home is where my children are," Mrs. Dennistoun said: and then she +made a little pause. "But we must think it over, Elinor. Such a step as +this must not be taken rashly. We will ask John to come down and advise +us. My dear----" + +"No, mother, not John or any one. I will go first if you like and find a +place, and you will join me after. That woman" (it was poor Mary Dale, +who was indeed full of information, but meant no harm) "is coming +directly. I will not wait here to see her, or their faces after she has +told them all the lies she will have heard. I am not going to take +advice from any one. Let me alone, mother. I must, I must go away." + +"But not by yourself, Elinor," Mrs. Dennistoun said. + +This was how it happened that John Tatham, who had meant to go down to +the Cottage the very next Saturday to see how things were going, was +driven into a kind of stupefaction one morning in May by a letter which +reached him from the North, a letter conveying news so unexpected and +sudden, so unlike anything that had seemed possible, that he laid it +down, when it was half read, with a gasp of astonishment, unable to +believe his eyes. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX. + + +It was Mrs. Dennistoun whose letter brought John Tatham such dismay. It +was dated Lakeside, Waterdale, Penrith--an address with which he had no +associations whatever, and which he gazed at blankly for a moment before +he attempted to read the letter, not knowing how to connect it with the +well-known writing which was as familiar as the common day. + + +"You will wonder to see this address," she wrote. "You will wonder still +more, dear John, when I tell you we have come here for good. I have left +the Cottage in an agent's hands with the hope of letting it. Windyhill +is such a healthy place that I hope somebody will soon be found to take +it. You know Elinor would not let me make any explanation. And the +constant questions and allusions to _his_ movements which people had +seen in the papers, and so forth, had got on her nerves, poor child. You +can understand how easily this might come about. At last she got that +she could not bear it longer. Mary Dale, who always lives half the year +with her sister at the Rectory, was coming back. You know it was she who +brought the first tale about him, and she knows, I think, all the gossip +that ever was got up about any one. Poor Elinor--though I don't believe +Mary had any bad meaning; and it would, alas! have been for all our good +had we listened to what she said--Elinor cannot bear her; and when she +heard she was coming, she declared she would take her baby and go away. +I tried to bring her to reason, but I could not. Naturally it was she +who convinced me--you know the process, John. Indeed, in many things I +can see it is the best thing we could do. I am not supremely attached to +Windyhill. The Cottage had got to be very homelike after living in it so +long, but home is where those are whom one loves. And to live among one +set of people for so many years, if it has great advantages, has at the +same time very great disadvantages too. You can't keep anything to +yourself. You must explain every step you take, and everything that +happens to you. This is a lovely country, a little cold as yet, and a +little damp perhaps, being so near the lake--but the mountains are +beautiful, and the air delicious. Elinor is out all the day long, and +baby grows like a flower. You must come and see us as soon as ever you +can. That is one dreadful drawback, that we shall not have you running +up and down from Saturday to Monday: and I am afraid you will be vexed +with us that we did not take your advice first--you, who have always +been our adviser. But Elinor would not hear a word of any advice. I +think she was afraid you would disapprove: and it would have been worse +to fly in your face if you had disapproved than to come away without +consulting you: and you know how impetuous she is. At all events the die +is cast. Write kindly to her; don't say anything to vex her. You can let +yourself out, if you are very angry, upon me. + +"One thing more. She desires that if you write you should address her as +_Mrs. Compton_ only, no Honourable. That might attract attention, and +what we desire is to escape notice altogether, which I am sure is a +thing you will thoroughly understand, now that we have transplanted +ourselves so completely. Dear John, form the most favourable idea you +can of this sudden step, and come and see us as soon as it is possible. + +"Yours affectly., +"M. D." + + +To say that John was thunderstruck by this letter is to describe his +sensations mildly, for he was for a time bitterly angry, wounded, +disappointed, disturbed to the bottom of his soul; but perhaps if truth +were told it could scarcely be said that he disapproved. He thought it +over, which he naturally did all that day, to the great detriment of his +work, first with a sort of rage against Elinor and her impetuosity, +which presently shaded down into understanding of her feelings, and +ended in a sense that he might have known it from the first, and that +really no other conclusion was possible. He came gradually to acquiesce +in the step the ladies had taken. To have to explain everything to the +Hudsons, and Hills, and Mary Dales, to open up your most sacred heart in +order that they might be able to form a theory sufficient for their +outside purposes of your motives and methods, or, what was perhaps worse +still--to know that they were on the watch, guessing what you did not +tell them, putting things together, explaining this and that in their +own way--would have been intolerable. "That is the good of having +attached friends," John exclaimed to himself, very unjustly: for it is +human nature that is to blame, if there is any blame attaching to an +exercise of ingenuity so inevitable. As a matter of fact, when Miss Dale +brought the true or something like the true account to Windyhill, the +warmth of the sympathy for Elinor, the wrath of the whole community with +her unworthy husband, was almost impassioned. Had she been there it +would not have been possible for those good people altogether to conceal +from her how sorry and how indignant they were; even perhaps there might +have been some who could not have kept out of their eyes, who must have +betrayed in some word or shake of the head the "I told you so" which is +so dear to human nature. But how was it possible that they could remain +uninterested, unaffected by the trouble in the midst of them, or even +appear to be so? John, like Elinor, threw a fiery dart of impatience at +the country neighbours, not allowing that everywhere in the greatest +town, in the most cosmopolitan community, this would have been the +same. + +"The chattering gossips!" he said, as if a club would not have been a +great deal worse, as if indeed his own club, vaguely conscious of a +connection by marriage between him and the dis-Honourable Phil, had not +discussed it all, behind his back, long ago. + +But on the whole John was forced not to disapprove. To say that he went +the length of approving would be too much, and to deny that he launched +forth a tremendous letter upon Mrs. Dennistoun, who always bore the +brunt, is more than my conscience would permit. He did do this, throwing +out, as the French say, fire and flame, but a few days after followed it +up by a much milder letter (need I say this was addressed to Elinor?), +allowing that he understood their motives, and that perhaps, from their +own point of view, they were not so very much to blame. "You will find +it very damp, very cold, very different from Windyhill," he said, with a +sort of savage satisfaction. But as it happened to be unusually good +weather among the lakes when his letter came, this dart did not do much +harm. And that John felt the revolution in his habits consequent upon +this move very much, it would be futile to deny. To have nowhere to go +to freely when he pleased from Saturday to Monday (he had at least a +score of places, but none like the Cottage) made a wonderful difference +in his life. But perhaps when he came to think of it soberly, as he did +so often in the brilliant Saturday afternoons of early summer, when the +sunshine on the trees made his heart a little sick with the idea that he +had, as he said to himself, nowhere to go to, he was not sure that the +difference was not on the whole to his advantage. A man perhaps should +not have it in his power to enjoy, in the most fraternal intimacy, the +society of another man's wife whenever he pleased, even if to her he +was, as he knew, of as little importance (notwithstanding that she was, +as she would have said, so fond of John) as the postman, say, or any +other secondary (yet sufficiently interesting) figure in the country +neighbourhood. John knew in his heart of hearts that this was not a +good thing nor a wholesome thing for him. He was not a man, as has been +said, who would ever have hurried events, or insisted upon appropriating +a woman, even when he loved her, and securing her as his very own. He +would always have been able to put that off, to subordinate it to the +necessity of getting on in the world, and securing his position: and he +was by no means sure when he questioned his own heart (which was a thing +he did seldom, knowing, like a wise man, that that shifty subject +often made queer revelations, and was not at all an easy object to +cross-examine), that the intercourse which he had again dropped into +with Elinor was not on the whole as much as he required. There was no +doubt that it kept him alive from one period to another; kept his heart +moderately light and his mind wonderfully contented--as nothing else had +ever done. He looked forward to his fortnightly or monthly visit to the +Cottage (sometimes one, and sometimes the other; he never indulged +himself so far as to go every week), and it gave him happiness enough +to tide over all the dull moments between: and if anything came in +his way and detained him even from his usual to a later train, he was +ridiculously, absurdly angry. What right had he to feel so in respect to +another man's wife? What right had he to watch the child--the child whom +he disliked so much to begin with--developing its baby faculties with an +interest he was half ashamed of, but which went on increasing? Another +man's wife and another man's child. He saw now that it was not a +wholesome thing for him, and he could never have given it up had they +remained. It had become too much a part of his living; should he not be +glad therefore that they had taken it into their own hands, and gone +away? When it suddenly occurred to John, however, that this perhaps had +some share in the ladies' hasty decision, that Mrs. Dennistoun perhaps +(all that was objectionable was attributed to this poor lady) had been +so abominably clear-sighted, so odiously presuming as to have suspected +this, his sudden blaze of anger was _foudroyant_. Perhaps she had +settled upon it for his sake, to take temptation out of his way. John +could scarcely contain himself when this view of the case flashed upon +him, although he was quite aware for himself that though it was a bitter +wrench, yet it was perhaps good for him that Elinor should go away. + +It was probably this wave of fierce and, as we are aware, quite +unreasonable anger rushing over him that produced the change which +everybody saw in John's life about this time. It was about the beginning +of the season when people's enjoyments begin to multiply, and for the +first time in his life John plunged into society like a very novice. He +went everywhere. By this time he had made a great start in life, had +been brought into note in one or two important cases, and was, as +everybody knew, a young man very well thought of, and likely to do great +things at the bar; so that he was free of many houses, and had so many +invitations for his Sundays that he could well afford to be indifferent +to the loss of such a humble house as the Cottage at Windyhill. Perhaps +he wanted to persuade himself that this was the case, and that there +really was nothing to regret. And it is certain that he did visit a +great deal during that season at one house where there were two or three +agreeable daughters; the house, indeed, of Sir John Gaythorne, who was +Solicitor-General at that time, and a man who had always looked upon +John Tatham with a favourable eye. The Gaythornes had a house near +Dorking, where they often went from Saturday to Monday with a few choice +_convives_, and "picknicked," as they themselves said, but it was a +picknicking of a highly comfortable sort. John went down with them the +very Saturday after he received that letter--the Saturday on which he +had intended to go to Windyhill. And the party was very gay. To compare +it for a moment with the humdrum family at the Cottage would have been +absurd. The Gaythornes prided themselves on always having pleasant +people with them, and they had several remarkably pleasant people +that day, among whom John himself was welcomed by most persons; and +the family themselves were lively and agreeable to a high degree. A +distinguished father, a very nice mother, and three charming girls, up +to everything and who knew everybody; who had read or skimmed all the +new books of any importance, and had seen all the new pictures; who +could talk of serious things as well as they could talk nonsense, and +who were good girls to boot, looking after the poor, and visiting at +hospitals, in the intervals of their gaieties, as was then the highest +fashion in town. I do not for a moment mean to imply that the Miss +Gaythornes did their good work because it was the fashion: but the fact +that it is the fashion has liberated many girls, and allowed them to +carry out their natural wishes in that way, who otherwise would have +been restrained and hampered by parents and friends, who would have +upbraided them with making themselves remarkable, if in a former +generation they had attempted to go to Whitechapel or St. Thomas's with +any active intentions. And Elinor had never done anything of this kind, +any more than she had pursued music almost as a profession, which was +what Helena Gaythorne had done; or learned to draw, like Maud (who once +had a little thing in the Royal Academy); or studied the Classics, +like Gertrude. John thought of her little tunes as he listened to Miss +Gaythorne's performance, and almost laughed out at the comparison. He +was very fond of music, and Miss Gaythorne's playing was something which +the most cultivated audience might have been glad to listen to. He was +ashamed to confess to himself that he liked the "tunes" best. No, he +would not confess it even to himself; but when he stood behind the +performer listening, it occurred to him that he was capable of walking +all the miles of hill and hollow which divided the one place from the +other, only for the inane satisfaction of seeing that baby spread on +Elinor's lap, or hearing her play to him one of her "tunes." + +He went with the Gaythornes to their country-place twice in the month of +June, and dined at the house several times, and was invited on other +occasions, becoming, in short, one of the _habitués_ when there was +anything going on in the house--till people began to ask, which was it? +It was thought generally that Helena was the attraction, for John was +known to be a musical man, always to be found where specially good music +was going. Some friends of the family had even gone so far as to say +among themselves what a good thing it was that dear Helena's lot was +likely to be cast with one who would appreciate her gift. "It generally +happens in these cases that a girl marries somebody who does not know +one note from another," they said to each other. When, all at once, John +flagged in his visits; went no more to Dorking; and finally ceased to be +more assiduous or more remarked than the other young men who were on +terms of partial intimacy at the Gaythorne house. He had, indeed, tried +very hard to make himself fall in love with one of Sir John's girls. It +would have been an excellent connection, and the man might think himself +fortunate who secured any one of the three for his wife. Proceeding from +his certainty on these points, and also a general liking for their +company, John had gone into it with a settled purpose, determined to +fall in love if he could: but he found that the thing was not to be +done. It was a pity; but it could not be helped. He was in a condition +now when it would no longer be rash to marry, and he knew now that there +was the makings of a domestic man in him. He never could have believed +that he would take an interest in the sprawling of the baby upon its +mother's knee, and he allowed to himself that it might be sweet to have +that scene taking place in a house of his own. Ah! but the baby would +have to be Elinor's. It must be Elinor who should sit on that low +chair with the firelight on her face. And that was impossible. Helena +Gaythorne was an exceedingly nice girl, and he wished her every +success in life (which she attained some time after by marrying Lord +Ballinasloe, the eldest son of the Earl of Athenree, a marriage which +everybody approved), but he could not persuade himself to be in love +with her, though with the best will in the world. + +During this time he did not correspond much with his relations in the +country. He had, indeed, some letters to answer from his father, in +which the interrogatories were very difficult: "Where has Mary +Dennistoun gone? What's become of Elinor and her baby? Has that +fashionable fellow of a husband deserted her? What's the meaning of the +move altogether?" And, "Mind you keep yourself out of it," his father +wrote. John had great trouble in wording his replies so as to convey as +little information as possible. "I believe Aunt Mary has got a house +somewhere in the North, probably to suit Elinor, who would be able to be +more with her if she were in that neighbourhood." (It must be confessed +that he thought this really clever as a way of getting over the question.) +"As for Compton, I know very little about him. He was never a man much +in my way." Mr. Tatham's household saw nothing remarkable in these +replies; upon which, however, they built an explanation, such as it was, +of the other circumstances. They concluded that it must be in order to +be near Elinor that Mrs. Dennistoun had gone to the North, and that it +was a very good thing that Elinor's husband was not a man who was in +John's way. "A scamp, if I ever saw one!" Mr. Tatham said. "But what's +that Jack says about Gaythorne? Mary, I remember Gaythorne years ago; a +capital friend for a young man. I'm glad your brother's making such nice +friends for himself; far better than mooning about that wretched little +cottage with Mary Dennistoun and her girl." + + + + +CHAPTER XXX. + + +It happened thus that it was not till the second autumn after the +settlement of the ladies in Waterdale, when all the questions had died +out, and there was no more talk of them, except on occasions when a +sudden recollection cropped up among their friends at Windyhill, that +John Tatham paid them his first visit. He had been very conscientious +in his proposed bestowal of himself. Perhaps it is scarcely quite +complimentary to a woman when she is made choice of by a man who is +consciously to himself "on the outlook," thinking that he ought to +marry, and investigating all the suitable persons about with an eye to +finding one who will answer his requirements. This sensible way of +approaching the subject of matrimony does not somehow commend itself to +our insular notions. It is the right way in every country except our +own, but it has a cold-blooded look to the Anglo-Saxon; and a girl is +not flattered (though perhaps she ought to be) by being the subject of +this sensible choice. "As if I were a housekeeper or a cook!" she is apt +to say, and is far better pleased to be fallen in love with in the most +rash and irresponsible way than to be thus selected from the crowd: +though that, everybody must allow, after due comparison and inspection, +is by far the greater compliment. John having arrived at the conclusion +that it would be better for him in many ways to marry, and specially +in the way of Elinor, fortifying him for ever from all possible +complications, and making it possible for him to regard her evermore +with the placid feelings of a brother, which was, he expected, to be the +consequence--worked at the matter really with great pertinacity and +consistency. He kept his eyes open upon the whole generation of girls +whom he met with in society. When he went abroad during the long +vacation (instead of going to Lakeside, as he was invited to do), he +directed his steps rather to the fashionable resorts, where families +disport themselves at the foot of the mountains, than to the Alpine +heights where he had generally found a more robust amusement. And +wherever he went he bent his attention on the fairer portion of the +creation, the girls who fill all the hotels with the flutter of their +fresh toilettes and the babble of their pleasant voices. It was very +mean and poor of him, seeing he was a mountaineer himself--but still it +must be recorded that the only young ladies he systematically neglected +were those in very short petticoats, with very sunburnt faces and nails +in their boots, who ought to have been most congenial to him as sharing +his own tastes. It is said, I don't know with what truth, that at Ouch, +or Interlachen, or some other of the most mundane and banal resorts of +the tourists, he came upon one girl who he thought might make him a +suitable wife: and that, though with much moderation and prudence, he +more or less followed her party for some time, meeting them over and +over again, with expressions of astonishment, round the most well-known +corners, and persisting for a considerable time in this quest. But +whether he ever came the length of proposing at all, or whether the +young lady was engaged beforehand, or if she thought the prospect of +making a suitable wife not good enough, I cannot say, and I doubt +whether any one knows--except, of course, the parties immediately +concerned. It is very clear, at all events, that it came to nothing. +John did not altogether give it up, I fancy, for he went a great deal +into society still, especially in that _avant saison_, which people who +live in London declare to be the most enjoyable, and when it is supposed +you can enjoy the best of company at your ease without the hurry and +rush of the summer crowd. He would have been very glad, thankful, +indeed, if he could have fallen in love. How absurd to think that any +silly boy can do it, to whom it is probably nothing but a disadvantage +and the silliest of pastimes, and that he, a reasonable man with a good +income, and arrived at a time of life when it is becoming and rational +to marry, could not do it, let him try as he would! There was something +ludicrous in it, when you came to think, as well as something very +depressing. Mothers who wanted a good position for their daughters +divined him, and many of them were exceedingly civil to John, this man +in search of a wife; and many of the young ladies themselves divined +him, and with the half indignation, half mockery, appropriate to the +situation, were some of them not unaverse to profit by it, and +accordingly turned to him their worst side in the self-consciousness +produced by that knowledge. And thus the second year turned round +towards the wane, and John was farther from success than ever. + +He said to himself then that it was clear he was not a marrying man. He +liked the society of ladies well enough, but not in that way. He was +not made for falling in love. He might very well, he was aware, have +dispensed with the tradition, and found an excellent wife, who would not +at all have insisted upon it from her side. But he had his prejudices, +and could not do this. Love he insisted upon, and love would not come. +Accordingly, when the second season was over he gave up both the quest +and the idea, and resolved to think of marrying no more, which was a +sensible relief to him. For indeed he was exceedingly comfortable as he +was; his chambers were excellent, and he did not think that any street +or square in Belgravia would have reconciled him to giving up the +Temple. He had excellent servants, a man and his wife, who took the +greatest care of him. He had settled into a life which was arranged as +he liked, with much freedom, and yet an agreeable routine which John +was too wise to despise. He relinquished the idea of marrying then and +there. To be sure there is never any prophesying what may happen. A +little laughing gipsy of a girl may banish such a resolution out of a +man's mind in the twinkling of an eye, at any moment. But short of such +accidents as that, and he smiled at the idea of anything of the kind, he +quite made up his mind on this point with a great sensation of relief. + +It is curious how determined the mind of the English public at least is +on this subject--that the man or woman who does not marry (especially +the woman, by-the-bye) has an unhappy life, and that a story which does +not end in a wedding is no story at all, or at least ends badly, as +people say. It happened to myself on one occasion to put together in a +book the story of some friends of mine, in which this was the case. They +were young, they were hopeful, they had all life before them, but they +did not marry. And when the last chapter came to the consciousness of +the publisher he struck, with the courage of a true Briton, not ashamed +of his principles, and refused to pay. He said it was no story at +all--so beautiful is marriage in the eyes of our countrymen. I hope, +however, that nobody will think any harm of John Tatham because he +concluded, after considerable and patient trial, that he was not a +marrying man. There is no harm in that. A great number of those Catholic +priests whom it was the habit in my youth to commiserate deeply, as if +they were vowed to the worst martyrdom, live very happy lives in their +celibacy and prefer it, as John Tatham did. It will be apparent to the +reader that he really preferred it to Elinor, while Elinor was in his +power. And though afterwards it gave a comfort and grace to his life to +think that it was his faithful but subdued love for Elinor which made +him a bachelor all his days, I am by no means certain that this was +true. Perhaps he never would have made up his mind had she remained +always within his reach. Certain it is that he was relieved when he +found that to give up the idea of marriage was the best thing for him. +He adopted the conclusion with pleasure. His next brother had already +married, though he was younger than John; but then he was a clergyman, +which is a profession naturally tending to that sort of thing. There +was, however, no kind of necessity laid upon him to provide for the +continuance of the race. And he was a happy man. + +By what sequence of ideas it was that he considered himself justified, +having come to this conclusion, in immediately paying his long-promised +visit to Lakeside, is a question which I need not enter into, and indeed +do not feel entirely able to cope with. It suited him, perhaps, as +he had been so long a time in Switzerland last year: and he had an +invitation to the far north for the grouse, which he thought it would be +pleasant to accept. Going to Scotland or coming from it, Waterdale of +course lies full in the way. He took it last on his way home, which was +more convenient, and arrived there in the latter part of September, +when the hills were golden with the yellow bracken. The Cumberland hills +are a little cold, in my opinion, without the heather, which clothes +with such a flush of life and brightness our hills in the north. The +greenness is chilly in the frequent rain; one feels how sodden and +slippery it is--a moisture which does not belong to the heather: but +when the brackens have all turned, and the slopes reflect themselves in +the tranquil water like hills of gold, then the landscape reaches its +perfect point. Lakeside was a white house standing out on a small +projection at the head of the lake, commanding the group of hills above +and part of the winding body of water below, in which all these golden +reflections lay. A little steamer passed across the reflected glory, and +came to a stop not a hundred yards from the gate of the house. It was a +scene as unlike as could be conceived to the Cottage at Windyhill: the +trees were all glorious in colour; yellow birches like trees made of +light, oaks all red and fiery, chestnuts and elms and beeches in a +hundred hues. The house was white, with a sort of broad verandah round, +supported on pillars, furnishing a sheltered walk below and a broad +balcony above, which gave it a character of more importance than perhaps +its real size warranted. When John approached there ran out to meet him +into the wide gravel drive before the door a little figure upon two +sturdy legs, calling out, in inarticulate shoutings, something that +sounded a little like his own name. It was, "'tle John! 'tle John!" +made into a sort of song by the baby, nearly two years old, and "very +forward," as everybody assured the stranger, for his age. Uncle John! +his place was thus determined at once by that little potentate and +master of the house. Behind the child came Elinor, no longer pale and +languid as he had seen her last, but matured into vigorous beauty, +bright-eyed, a little sober, as might have become maturer years than +hers. Perhaps there was something in the style of her dress that +favoured the idea, not of age indeed, but of matronly years, and beyond +those which Elinor counted. She was dressed in black, of the simplest +description, not of distinctive character like a widow's, yet something +like what an ideal widow beyond fashion or conventionalities of woe +might wear. It seemed to give John the key-note of the character she had +assumed in this new sphere. + +Mrs. Dennistoun, who had not changed in the least, stood in the open +door. They gave him a welcome such as John had not had, he said to +himself, since he had seen them before. They were unfeignedly glad to +see him, not wounded (which, to think of afterwards, wounded him a +little) that he had not come sooner, but delighted that he was here now. +Even when he went home it was not usual to John to be met at the door in +this way by all his belongings. His sister might come running down the +stairs when she heard the dog-cart draw up, but that was all. And Mary's +eagerness to see him was generally tempered by the advice she had to +give, to say that or not to say this, because of papa. But in the +present case it was the sight of himself which was delightful to all, +and, above all, though the child could have no reason for it, to the +little shouting excited boy. "'Tle John! 'tle John!" What was Uncle John +to him? yet his little voice filled the room with shouts of joy. + +"What does he know about me, the little beggar, that he makes such a +noise in my honour?" said John, touched in spite of himself. "But I +suppose anything is good enough for a cry at that age." + +"Come," said Elinor, "you are not to be contemptuous of my boy any +longer. You called him _it_ when he was a baby." + +"And what is he now?" said John, whose heart was affected by strange +emotions, he, the man who had just decided (with relief) that he was not +a marrying man. There came over him a curious wave of sensation which he +had no right to. If he had had a right to it, if he had been coming home +to those who belonged to him, not distantly in the way of cousinship, +but by a dearer right, what sensations his would have been! But sitting +at the corner of the fire (which is very necessary in Waterdale in the +end of September) a little in the shadow, his face was not very clearly +perceptible: though indeed had it been so the ladies would have thought +nothing but that John's kind heart was touched, as was so natural, by +this sight. + +"What is he now? Your nephew! Tell Uncle John what you are now," said +Elinor, lifting her child on her lap; at which the child between the +kisses which were his encouragement and reward produced, in a large +infant voice, very treble, yet simulating hers, the statement, "Mamma's +bhoy." + +"Now, Elinor," said Mrs. Dennistoun, "he has played his part +beautifully; he has done everything you taught him. He has told you who +he is and who Uncle John is. Let him go to his nursery now." + +"Come up-stairs, Pippo. Mother will carry her boy," said Elinor. "They +don't want us any more, these old people. Say good-night to Uncle John, +and come to bed." + +"Dood-night, 'tle John," said the child; which, however, was not enough, +for he tilted himself out of his mother's arms and put his rosy face and +open mouth, sweet but damp, upon John's face. This kiss was one of the +child's accomplishments. He himself was aware that he had been good, and +behaved himself in every way as a child should do, as he was carried off +crowing and jabbering in his mother's arms. He had formed a sort of +little human bridge between them when he made that dive from Elinor's +arms upon John's face. Ah, heaven! if it had been the other way, if the +child and the mother had both been his! + +"He has grown up very sweet. You may think we are foolish, John; but you +can't imagine what a delight that child is. Hasn't he grown up sweet?" + +"If you call that grown up!" + +"Oh, yes, I know he is only a baby still; but so forward for his age, +such a little man, taking care of his mother before he is two years +old!" + +"What did I hear her call him?" John asked, and it seemed to Mrs. +Dennistoun that there was something severe in the sound of his voice. + +"He had to be Philip. It is a pretty name, though we may have reason to +mourn the day--and belongs to his family. We must not forget that he +belongs to a known family, however he may have suffered by it." + +"Then you intend the child to know about his family? I am glad to hear +it," said John, though his voice perhaps was not so sweet as his words. + +"Oh, John, that is quite another thing! to know about his family--at +two! He has his mother--and me to take care of them both, and what does +he want more?" + +"But he will not always be two," said John, the first moment almost of +his arrival, before he had seen the house, or said a word about the +lake, or anything. She was so disappointed and cast down that she made +him no reply. + +"I am a wretched croaker," he said, after a moment, "I know. I ought +after all this time to try to make myself more agreeable; but you must +pardon me if this was the first thing that came into my mind. Elinor is +looking a great deal better than when I saw her last." + +"Isn't she! another creature. I don't say that I am satisfied, John. Who +would be satisfied in such a position of affairs? but while the child is +so very young nothing matters very much. And she is quite happy. I do +think she is quite happy. And so well--this country suits them both +perfectly. Though there is a good deal of rain, they are both out every +day. And little Pippo thrives, as you see, like a flower." + +"That is a very fantastic name to give the child." + +"How critical you are, John! perhaps it is, but what does it matter at +his age? any name does for a baby. Why, you yourself, as grave as you +are now----" + +"Don't, aunt," said John. "It is a grave matter enough as it appears to +me." + +"Not for the present; not for the present, John." + +"Perhaps not for the present: if you prefer to put off all the +difficulties till they grow up and crush you. Have there been any +overtures, all this time, from--the other side?" + +"Dear John, don't overwhelm me all in a moment, in the first pleasure of +seeing you, both with the troubles that are behind and the troubles that +are in front of us," the poor lady said. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI. + + +The weather was fine, which was by no means always a certainty at +Waterdale, and Elinor had become a great pedestrian, and was ready to +accompany John in his walks, which were long and varied. It was rather a +curious test to which to subject himself after the long time he had been +away, and the other tests through which he had gone. Never had he been +so entirely the companion of Elinor, never before had they spent so many +hours together without other society. At Windyhill, indeed, their +interviews had been quite unrestrained, but then Elinor had many friends +and interests in the parish and outside of it, visits to pay and duties +to perform. Now she had her child, which occupied her mornings and +evenings, but left her free for hours of rambling among the hills, for +long walks, from which she came back blooming with the fresh air and +breezes which had blown her about, ruffling her hair, and stirring up +her spirits and thoughts. Sometimes when there has been heavy and +premature suffering there occurs thus in the young another spring-time, +an almost childhood of natural, it may be said superficial pleasure--the +power of being amused, and of enjoying every simple satisfaction without +any _arrière pensée_ like a child. She had recovered her strength and +vigour in the mountain air--and in that freedom of being unknown, with +no look ever directed to her which reminded her of the past, no question +which brought back her troubles, had blossomed out into that fine +youthful maturity of twenty-six, which has already an advantage over the +earlier girlhood, the perfection of the woman grown. Elinor had thought +of many things and understood many things, which she had still regarded +with the high assumptions of ignorance three or four years ago. And poor +John, who had tried so hard to find himself a mate that suited him, who +had studied so many girls more beautiful, more accomplished than Elinor, +in the hope of goading himself, so to speak, into love, and had not +succeeded--and who had felt so strongly that another man's wife must not +occupy so much of his thoughts, nor another man's child give him an +unwilling pleasure which was almost fatherly--poor John felt himself +placed in a position more trying than any he had known before, more +difficult to steer his way through. He had never had so much of her +company, and she did not conceal the pleasure it was to her to have some +one to walk with, to talk with, who understood what she said and what +she did not say, and was in that unpurchasable sympathy with herself +which is not to be got by beauty, or by will, or even by love itself, +but comes by nature. Elinor felt this with simple pleasure. Without any +complicating suspicion, she said, "What a brother John is! I always felt +him so, but now more than ever." "You have been, so to speak, brought up +together," said Mrs. Dennistoun, whose mind was by no means so easy on +the subject. "That is the reason, I suppose," said Elinor, with happy +looks. + +But poor John said nothing of this kind. What he felt was that he might +have spared himself the trouble of all those researches of his; that to +roam about looking for a young lady whom he might--not devour, but learn +to love, was pains as unnecessary as ever man took. He still hugged +himself, however, over the thought that in no circumstances would he +have been a marrying man; that if Elinor had been free he would have +found plenty of reasons why they should remain on their present terms +and go no farther. As it was clear that they must remain on their +present terms, and could go no farther, it was certainly better that he +should cherish that thought. + +And curiously enough, though they heard so little from the outside +world, they had heard just so much as this, that John's assiduities to +the Miss Gaythornes (which the reader may remember was the first of all +his attempts, and quite antiquated in his recollection) had occasioned +remarks, and he had not been many evenings at Lakeside before he was +questioned on the subject. Had it been true, or had he changed his mind +or had the lady----? It vexed him that there was not the least little +opposition or despite in their tones, such as a man's female friends +often show towards the objects of his admiration, not from any feeling +on their own part, except that most natural one, which is surprised and +almost hurt to find that, "having known me, he could decline"--a feeling +which, in its original expression, was not a woman's sentiment, but a +man's, and therefore is, I suppose, common to both sides. But the ladies +at Lakeside did not even betray this feeling. They desired to know if +there had been anything in it--with smiles, it is true; but Mrs. +Dennistoun at the same time expressed her regret warmly. + +"We were in great hopes something would come of it, John. Elinor has met +the Gaythornes, and thought them very nice; and if there is a thing in +the world that would give me pleasure, it would be to see you with a +nice wife, John." + +"I am sure I am much obliged to you, aunt; but there really was nothing +in it. That is, I was seized with various impulses on the subject, and +rather agreed with you: but I never mentioned the matter to any of the +Miss Gaythornes. They are charming girls, and I don't suppose would have +looked at me. At the same time, I did not feel it possible to imagine +myself in love with any of them. That's quite a long time since," he +added with a laugh. + +"Then there have been others since then? Let us put him in the +confessional, mother," cried Elinor with a laugh. "He ought not to have +any secrets of that description from you and me." + +"Oh, yes, there have been others since," said John. "To tell the truth, +I have walked round a great many nice girls asking myself whether I +shouldn't find it very delightful to have one of them belonging to me. I +wasn't worthy the least attractive of them all, I quite knew; but still +I am about the same as other men. However, as I've said, I never +mentioned the matter to any of them." + +"Never?" cried Mrs. Dennistoun, feeling a hesitation in his tone. + +He laughed a little, shamefaced: "Well, if you like, I will say hardly +ever," he said. "There was one that might, perhaps, have taken pity upon +me--but fortunately an old lover of hers, who was much more +enterprising, turned up before anything decisive had been said." + +"Fortunately, John?" + +"Well, yes, I thought so. You see I am not a marrying man. I tried to +screw myself up to the point, but it was altogether, I am afraid, as a +matter of principle. I thought it would be a good thing, perhaps, to +have a wife." + +"That was a very cold-blooded idea. No wonder you--it never came to +anything. That is not the way to go about it," said Elinor with the +ringing laugh of a child. + +And yet her way of going about it had been far from a success. How +curious that she did not remember that! + +"Yes," he said, "I am quite aware that I did not go about it in the +right way, but then that was the only way in which it presented itself +to me; and when I had made up my mind at last that it was a failure, I +confess it was with a certain sense of relief. I suppose I was born to +live and die an old bachelor." + +"Do not be so sure of that," said Elinor. "Some day or other, in the +most unlooked-for moment, the fairy princess will bound upon the scene, +and the old bachelor will be lost." + +"We'll wait quite contentedly for that day--which I don't believe in," +he said. + +Mrs. Dennistoun did not take any part in the later portion of this +discussion; her smile was feeble at the places where Elinor laughed. She +said seriously after this fireside conference, when he got up to prepare +for dinner, putting her hand tenderly on his shoulder, "I wish you had +found some one you could have loved, John." + +"So did I--for a time," he said, lightly. "But you see, it was not to +be." + +She shook her head, standing against the firelight in the dark room, so +that he could not see her face. "I wish," she said, "I wish--that I saw +you with a nice wife, John." + +"You might wish--to see me on the woolsack, aunt." + +"Well--and it might come to pass. I shall see you high up--if I live +long enough; but I wish I was as sure of the other, John." + +"Well," he said with a laugh, "I did my best; but there is no use in +struggling against fate." + +No, indeed! how very, very little use there was. He had kept away from +them for nearly two years; while he had done his best in the meantime to +get a permanent tenant for his heart which should prevent any wandering +tendencies. But he had not succeeded; and now if ever a man could be put +in circumstances of danger it was he. If he did not appear in time for +their walk Elinor would call him. "Aren't you coming, John?" And she +overflowed in talk to him of everything--excepting always of that one +dark passage in her life of which she never breathed a word. She asked +him about his work, and about his prospects, insisting upon having +everything explained to her--even politics, to which he had a tendency, +not without ideas of their use in reaching the higher ranks of his +profession. Elinor entered into all with zest and almost enthusiasm. She +wrapped him up in her sympathy and interest. There was nothing he did +that she did not wish to know about, did not desire to have a part in. +A sister in this respect is, as everybody knows, often more full of +enthusiasm than a wife, and Elinor, who was vacant of all concerns of +her own (except the baby) was delighted to take up these subjects of +excitement, and follow John through them, hastening after him on every +line of indication or suggestion which he gave--nay, often with her +lively intelligence hastening before him, making incursions into +undiscovered countries of which he had not yet perceived the importance. +They walked over all the country, into woods which were a little damp, +and up hill-sides where the scramble was often difficult enough, and +along the side of the lake--or, for a variety, went rowing across to +the other side, or far down the gleaming water, out of sight, round +the wooded corner which, with all its autumnal colours, blazed like +a brilliant sentinel into the air above and the water below. Mrs. +Dennistoun watched them, sometimes with a little trouble on her face. +She would not say a word to throw suspicions or doubts between them. +She would not awaken in Elinor's mind the thought that any such +possibilities as arise between two young people free of all bonds could +be imagined as affecting her and any man such as her cousin John. Poor +John! if he must be the victim, the victim he must be. Elinor could +not be disturbed that he might go free. And indeed, what good would it +have done to disturb Elinor? It would but have brought consciousness, +embarrassment, and a sense of danger where no such sense was. She was +trebly protected, and without a thought of anything but the calm yet +close relations that had existed so long. He---- but he could take care +of himself, Mrs. Dennistoun reflected in despair; he must take care of +himself. He was a man and must understand what his own risks and perils +were. + +"And do you think this plan is a success?" John asked her one day as +they were rowing homeward up the lake. The time of his visit was drawing +to a close; indeed it had drawn to a close several times, and been +lengthened very unadvisedly, yet very irresistibly as he felt. + +Her face grew graver than usual, as with a sudden recollection of that +shadow upon her life which Elinor so often seemed to have forgotten. "As +much of a success," she said, "as anything of the kind is likely to be." + +"It suits you better than Windyhill?" + +"Only in being more out of the world. It is partially out of the world +for a great part of the year; but I suppose no place is so wholly. It +seems impossible to keep from making acquaintances." + +"Of course," he said, "I have noticed. You know people here already." + +"How can we keep from knowing people? Mamma says it is the same thing +everywhere. If we lived up in that little house which they say is the +highest in England--at the head of the pass--we should meet people I +suppose even there." + +"Most likely," he replied; "but the same difficulties can hardly arise." + +"You mean we shall not know people so well as at--at home, and will not +be compelled to give an account of ourselves whatever we do? Heaven +knows! There is a vicarage here, and there is a squire's house: and +there are two or three people besides who already begin to inquire if we +are related to So-and-So, if we are the Scotch Dennistouns, or the Irish +Comptons, or I don't know what; and whether we are going to Penrith or +any other capital city for the winter." Elinor ended with a laugh. + +"So soon?" John said. + +"So soon--very much sooner, the first year: with mamma so friendly as +she is and with me so silly, unable to keep myself from smiling at +anybody who smiles at me!" + +"Poor Elinor!" + +"Oh, you may laugh; but it is a real disadvantage. I am sure there was +not very much smile in me when we came; and yet, notwithstanding, the +first pleasant look is enough for me, I cannot but respond; and I shall +always be so, I suppose," she said, with a sigh. + +"I hope so, Elinor. It would be an evil day for all of us if you did not +respond." + +"For how many, John? For my mother and--ah, you are so good, more like +my brother than my cousin--for you, perhaps, a little; but what is it to +anybody else in the world whether I smile or sigh? It does not matter, +however," she said, flinging back her head; "there it is, and I can't +help it. If you smile at me I must smile back again--and so we make +friends; and already I get a great deal of advice about little Pippo. +If we live here till he grows up, the same thing will happen as at the +Cottage. We will require to account to everybody for what we do with +him--for the school he goes to, and all he does; to explain why he has +one kind of training or another; and, in short, all that I ran away +from: the world wherever one goes seems to be so much the same." + +"The world is very much the same everywhere; and you cannot get out of +it were you to take refuge in a cave on the hill. The best thing is +generally to let it know all that can be known, and so save the +multitude of guesses it always makes." + +Elinor looked at him for a moment with her lips pressed tightly +together, and a light in her eyes; then she looked away across the water +to the golden hills, and said nothing; but there was a great deal in +that look of eager contradiction, yet forced agreement, of determination +above all, with which right and wrong had nothing to do. + +"Elinor," he said, "do you mean that child to grow up here between your +mother and you--in ignorance of all that there is in the world besides +you two?" + +"That child!" she cried. "John, I think you dislike my boy; for, of +course, it is Pippo you mean." + +"I wish you would not call him by that absurd name." + +"You are hard to please," she said, with an angry laugh. "I think it is +a very sweet little name." + +"The child will not always be a baby," said John. + +"Oh, no: I suppose if we all live long enough he will some time be +a--possibly disagreeable man, and punish us well for all the care we +have spent upon him," Elinor said. + +"I don't want to make you angry, Elinor----" + +"No, I don't suppose you do. You have been very nice to me, John. You +have neither scolded me nor given me good advice. I never expected you +would have been so forbearing. But I have always felt you must mean to +give me a good knock at the end." + +"You do me great injustice," he said, much wounded. "You know that I +think only of what is best for you--and the child." + +They were approaching the shore, and Mrs. Dennistoun's white cap was +visible in the waning light, looking out for them from the door. Elinor +said hastily, "And the child? I don't think that you care much for the +child." + +"There you are mistaken, Elinor. I did not perhaps at first: but I +acknowledge that a little thing like that does somehow creep into one's +heart." + +Her face, which had been gloomy, brightened up as if a sunbeam had +suddenly burst upon it. "Oh, bless you, John--Uncle John; how good and +how kind, and what a dear friend and brother you are! And I such a +wretch, ready to quarrel with those I love best! But, John, let me keep +quiet, let me keep still, don't make me rake up the past. He is such a +baby, such a baby! There cannot be any question of telling him anything +for years and years!" + +"I thought you were lost," said Mrs. Dennistoun, calling to them. "I +began to think of all kinds of things that might have happened--of the +steamboat running into you, or the boat going on a rock, or----" + +"You need not have had any fear when I was with John," Elinor said, with +a smile that made him warm at once, like the sun. He knew very well, +however, that it was only because he had made that little pleasant +speech about her boy. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXII. + + +There passed after this a number of years of which I can make no record. +The ladies remained at Lakeside, seldom moving. When they took a holiday +now and then, it was more for the sake of the little community which, +just as in Windyhill, had gathered round them, and which inquired, +concerned, "Are you not going to take a little change? Don't you think, +dear Mrs. Dennistoun, your daughter would be the better for a change? Do +you really think that a little sea air and variety wouldn't be good for +the boy?" Forced by these kind speeches they did go away now and then to +unknown seaside places in the north when little Philip was still a +child, and to quiet places abroad when he grew a boy, and it was thought +a good thing for him to learn languages, and to be taught that there +were other countries in the world besides England. They were absent for +one whole winter in France and another in Germany with this motive, that +Philip should learn these languages, which he did _tant bien que mal_ +with much assistance from his mother, who taught herself everything +that she thought the boy should know, and shared his lessons in order +to push him gently forward. And on the whole, he did very well in this +particular of language, showing much aptitude, though not perhaps much +application. I would not assert that the ladies, with an opinion very +common among women, and also among youth in general, did not rather +glory in the thought that he could do almost anything he liked (which +was their opinion, and in some degree while he was very young, the +opinion of his masters), with the appearance of doing nothing at all. +But on the whole, his education was the most difficult matter in which +they had yet been engaged. How was he to be educated? His birth and +condition pointed to one of the great public schools, and Mrs. Dennistoun, +who had made many economics in that retirement, was quite able to give +the child what they both called the best education. But how could they +send him to Eton or Harrow? A boy who knew nothing about his parentage +or his family, a boy bearing a well-known name, who would be subject to +endless questions where he came from, who he belonged to? a hundred +things which neither in Waterdale nor in their travels had ever been +asked of him. What the Waterdale people thought on the subject, or how +much they knew, I should not like to inquire. There are ways of finding +out everything, and people who possess family secrets are often +extraordinarily deceived in respect to what is known and what is not +known of those secrets. My own opinion is that there is scarcely such a +thing as a secret in the world. If any moment of great revolution comes +in your life you generally find that your neighbours are not much +surprised. They have known it, or they have suspected it, all along, and +it is well if they have not suspected more than the truth. So it is +quite possible that these excellent people knew all about Elinor: but +Elinor did not think so, which was the great thing. + +However, there cannot be any question that Philip's education was a very +great difficulty. John Tatham, who paid them a visit soberly from time +to time, but did not now come as of old, never indeed came as on that +first occasion when he had been so happy and so undeceived. To be sure, +as Philip grew up it was of course impossible for any one to be like +that. From the time Pippo was five or six he went everywhere with his +mother, her sole companion in general, and when there was a visitor +always making a third in the party, a third who was really the first, +for he appealed to his mother on every occasion, directed her attention +to everything. He only learned with the greatest difficulty that it was +possible she should find it necessary to give her attention in a greater +degree to any one else. When she said, "You know, Pippo, I must talk to +Uncle John," Pippo opened his great eyes, "Not than to me, mamma?" + +"Yes, dearest, more than to you for the moment: for he has come a long +way to see us, and he will soon have to go away again." When this was +first explained to him, Pippo inquired particularly when his Uncle John +was going away, and was delighted to hear that it was to be very soon. +However, as he grew older the boy began to take great pleasure in Uncle +John, and hung upon his arm when they went out for their walks, and +instead of endeavouring to monopolise his mother, turned the tables upon +her by monopolising this the only man who belonged to him, and to whom +he turned with the instinct of budding manhood. John too was very +willing to be thus appropriated, and it came to pass that now and then +Elinor was left out, or left herself out of the calculation, urging that +the walk they were planning was too far for her, or too steep for her, +or too something, so that the boy might have the enjoyment of the man's +society all to himself. This changed the position in many ways, and I am +not sure that at first it did not cost Elinor a little thus to stand +aside and put herself out of that first place which had always been by +all of them accorded to her. But if this was so, it was soon lost in the +consideration of how good it was for Pippo to have a man like John to +talk to and to influence him in every way. A man like John! That was the +thing; not a common man, not one who might teach him the baseness, or +the frivolity, or the falsehood of the world, but a good man, who was +also a distinguished man, a man of the world in the best sense, knowing +life in the best sense, and able to modify the boy's conception of what +he was to find in the world, as women could never do. + +"For after all that can be said, we are not good for much on those +points, mother," Mrs. Compton would say. + +"I don't know, Elinor; I doubt whether I would exchange my own ideas for +John's," the elder lady replied. + +"Ah, perhaps, mother; but for Pippo his experience and his knowledge +will do so much. A boy should not be brought up entirely with women any +more than a girl should be with men." + +"I have often thought, my dear," said Mrs. Dennistoun, "if in God's +providence it had been a girl instead of a boy----" + +"Oh!" said the younger mother, with a flush, "how can you speak--how +could you think of any possible child but Pippo? I would not give him +for a score of girls." + +"And if he had been a girl you would not have changed him for scores of +boys," said Mrs. Dennistoun, who added after a while, with a curious +sense of competition, and a determination to allow no inferiority, "You +forget, Elinor, that my only child is a girl." The elder lady (whom they +began to call the old lady) showed a great deal of spirit in defence of +her own. + +But Philip was approaching fourteen, and the great question had to be +decided now or never; where was he to be sent to school? It was +difficult now to send him to bed to get him out of the way, he who was +used to be the person of first importance in the house--in order that +the others might settle what was to be his fate. And accordingly the two +ladies came down-stairs again after the family had separated in the +usual way, in order to have their consultation with their adviser. There +was now a room in the house furnished as a library in order that Philip +might have a place in which to carry on his studies, and where "the +gentlemen" might have their talks by themselves, when there was any one +in the house. And here they found John when they stole in one after the +other, soft-footed, that the boy might suspect no complot. They had +their scheme, it need not be doubted, and John had his. He pronounced at +once for one of the great public schools, while the ladies on their part +had heard of one in the north, an old foundation as old as Eton, where +there was at the moment a head master who was quite exceptional, and +where boys were winning honours in all directions. There Pippo would +be quite safe. He was not likely to meet with anybody who would put +awkward questions, and yet he would receive an education as good as any +one's. "Probably better," said Elinor: "for Mr. Sage will have few +pupils like him, and therefore will give him the more attention." + +"That means," said John, "that the boy will not be among his equals, +which is of all things I know the worst for a boy." + +"We are not aristocrats, as you are, John. They will be more than his +equal in one way, because many of them will be bigger and stronger than +he, and that is what counts most among boys. Besides, we have no +pretensions." + +"My dear Elinor," said John Tatham (who was by this time an exceedingly +successful lawyer, member for his native borough, and within sight of a +Solicitor-Generalship), "your modesty is a little out of character, +don't you think? There can be no two opinions about what the boy is: an +aristocrat--if you choose to use that word, every inch of him--a little +gentleman, down to his fingers' ends." + +"Oh, thank you, John," cried Pippo's inconsistent mother; "that is the +thing of all others that we hoped you would say." + +"And yet you are going to send him among the farmers' sons. Fine +fellows, I grant you, but not of his kind. Have you heard," he said, +more gravely, "that Reginald Compton died last year?" + +"We saw it in the papers," said Mrs. Dennistoun. Elinor said nothing, +but turned her head away. + +"And neither of the others are married, or likely to marry; one of them +is very much broken down----" + +"Oh, John, John, for God's sake don't say anything more!" + +"I must, Elinor. There is but one good life, and that in a dangerous +climate, and with all the risks of possible fighting, between the boy +and----" + +"Don't, don't, John!" + +"And he does not know who he is. He is ignorant of everything, even the +fact, the great fact, which you have no right to keep from him----" + +"John," she cried, starting to her feet, "the boy is mine: I have a +right to deal with him as I think best. I will not hear a word you have +to say." + +"It is vain to say anything," said Mrs. Dennistoun; "she will not hear a +word." + +"That is all very well, so far as she is concerned," said John, "but I +have a part of my own to play. You give me the name of adviser and so +forth--a man cannot be your adviser if his mouth is closed before he +speaks. I have a right to speak, being summoned for that purpose. I tell +you, Elinor, that you have no right to conceal from the boy who he is, +and that his father is alive." + +She gave a cry as if he had struck her, and shrank away behind her +mother, hiding her face in her hands. + +"I am, more or less, of your opinion, John. I have told her the same. +While he was a baby it mattered nothing, now that he is a rational +creature with an opinion of his own, like any one of us----" + +"Mother," cried Elinor, "you are unkind. Oh, you are unkind! What did it +matter so long as he was a baby? But now he is just at the age when he +would be--if you don't wish to drive me out of my senses altogether, +don't say a word more to me of this kind." + +"Elinor," said John, "I have said nothing on the subject for many years, +though I have thought much: and you must for once hear reason. The boy +belongs--to his father as much as to you. I have said it! I cannot take +it back. He belongs to the family of which he may one day be the head. +You cannot throw away his birthright. And think, if you let him grow up +like this, not knowing that he has a family or a--unaware whom he +belongs to." + +"Have you done, John?" asked Elinor, who had made two or three efforts +to interrupt, and had been beating her foot impatiently upon the ground. + +"If you ask me in that tone, I suppose I must say yes: though I have a +great deal more that I should like to say." + +"Then hear me speak," cried Elinor. "Of us three at least, I am the +only one to whom he belongs. I only have power to decide for him. And I +say, No, no: whatever argument there may be, whatever plea you may bring +forward, No and no, and after that No! What! at fourteen, just the age +when anything that was said to him would tell the most; when he would +learn a lesson the quickest, learn what I would die to keep him from! +When he would take everything for gospel that was said to him, when the +very charm of--of that unknown name----" + +She stopped for a moment to take breath, half choked by her own words. + +"And you ought to remember no one has ever laid claim to him. Why should +I tell him of one that never even inquired---- No, John, no, no, no! +A baby he might have been told, and it would have done him no harm. +Perhaps you were right, you and mother, and I was wrong. He might have +known it from the first, and thought very little of it, and he may know +when he is a man, and his character is formed and he knows what things +mean--but a boy of fourteen! Imagine the glamour there would be about +the very name; how he would feel we must all have been unjust and +the--the other injured. You know from yourself, John, how he clings to +you--you who are only a cousin; he knows that, yet he insists upon Uncle +John, the one man who belongs to him, and looks up to you, and thinks +nothing of any of us in comparison. I like it! I like it!" cried Elinor, +dashing the tears from her eyes. "I am not jealous: but fancy what it +would be with the--other, the real, the---- I cannot, cannot, say the +word; yes, the father. If it is so with you, what would it be with him?" + +John listened with his head bent down, leaning on his hand: every word +went to his heart. Yes, he was nothing but a cousin, it was true. The +boy did not belong to him, was nothing to him. If the father stepped in, +the real father, the man of whom Philip had never heard, in all the +glory of his natural rights and the novelty and wonder of his existence, +how different would that be from any feeling that could be raised by a +cousin, an uncle, with whom the boy had played all his life! No doubt it +was true: and Phil Compton would probably charm the inexperienced boy +with his handsome, disreputable grace, and the unknown ways of the man +of the world. And yet, he thought to himself, there is a perspicacity +about children which is not always present in a man. Philip had no +precocious instincts to be tempted by his father's habits; he had the +true sight of a boy trained amid everything that was noble and pure. +Would it indeed be more dangerous now, when the boy was a boy, with all +those safeguards of nature, than when he was a man? John kept his mind +to this question with the firmness of a trained intelligence, not +letting himself go off into other matters, or pausing to feel the sting +that was in Elinor's words, the reminder that though he had been so +much, he was still nothing to the family to whom he had consecrated so +much of his life, so much now of his thoughts. + +"I do not think I agree with you, Elinor," he said at last. "I think it +would have been better had he always known that his father lived, and +who he was, and what family he belonged to; that is not to say that you +were to thrust him into his father's arms. And I think now that, though +we cannot redeem the past, it should be done as soon as possible, and +that he should know before he goes to school. I think the effect will be +less now than if the discovery bursts upon him when he is a young man, +when he finds, perhaps, as may well be, that his position and all his +prospects are changed in a moment, when he may be called upon without +any preparation to assume a name and a rank of which he knows nothing." + +"Not a name. He has always borne his true name." + +"His true name may be changed at any moment, Elinor. He may become Lord +Lomond, and the heir----" + +"My dear," said Mrs. Dennistoun, growing red, "that is a chance we have +never taken into account." + +"What has that to do with it?" she said. "Is his happiness and his +honour to be put in comparison with a chance, a possibility that may +never come true? John, for the sake of everything that is good, let him +wait till he is a man and knows good from evil." + +"It is that I am thinking of, Elinor; a boy of fourteen often knows good +from evil much better than a youth of twenty-one, which is, I suppose, +what you call a man. My opinion is that it would be better and safer +now." + +"No!" she said. "And no! I will never consent to it. If you go and +poison my boy's mind I will never forgive you, John." + +"I have no right to do anything," he said; "it is of course you who must +decide, Elinor: I advise only; and I might as well give that up," he +added, "don't you think? for you are not to be guided by me." + +And she was of course supreme in everything that concerned her son. +John, when he could do no more, knew how to be silent, and Mrs. +Dennistoun, if not so wise in this respect, was yet more easily silenced +than John. And Philip Compton went to the old grammar-school among the +dales, where was the young and energetic head-master, who, as Elinor +anticipated, found this one pupil like a pearl among the pebbles of the +shore, and spared no pains to polish him and perfect him in every way +known to the ambitious schoolmaster of modern times. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIII. + + +It is needless to say that the years which developed Elinor's child into +a youth on the verge of manhood, had not passed by the others of the +family without full evidence of its progress. John Tatham was no longer +within the elastic boundaries of that conventional youth which is +allowed to stretch so far when a man remains unmarried. He might have +been characterized as _encore jeune_, according to the fine distinction +of our neighbours in France, had he desired it. But he did not desire +it. He had never altogether neglected society, having a wholesome liking +for the company of his fellow creatures, but neither had he ever plunged +into it as those do who must keep their places in the crowd or die. +John had pursued the middle path, which is the most difficult. He had +cultivated friends, not a mob of acquaintances, although as people say +he "knew everybody," as a man who had attained his position and won his +success could scarcely fail to do. He had succeeded indeed, not in the +fabulous way that some men do, but in a way which most men in his +profession looked upon as in the highest degree satisfactory. He had a +silk gown like any dowager. He had been leading counsel in many cases +which were now of note. He was among, not the two or three perhaps, but +the twenty or thirty, who were at the head of his profession. If he had +not gone further it was perhaps more from lack of ambition than from +want of power. He had been for years in Parliament, but preferred his +independence to the chance of office. It is impossible to tell how +John's character and wishes might have been modified had he married and +had children round him like other men. Had the tall boy in the north, +the young hero of Lakeside, been his, what a difference would that +have made in his views of life! But Philip was not his, nor Philip's +mother--probably, as he always said to himself, from his own fault. +This, as the reader is aware, had always been fully recognised by John +himself. Perhaps in the old days, in those days when everything was +possible, he had not even recognised that there was but one woman in +the world whom he could ever wish to marry. Probably it was only +her appropriation by another that revealed this fact to him. There +are men like this to be found everywhere; not so hotly constituted +as to seize for themselves what is most necessary for their personal +happiness--possessed by so many other subjects that this seems a thing +to be thought of by-and-by--which by-and-by is generally too late. + +But John Tatham was neither a disappointed nor an unhappy man. He might +have attained a higher development and more brilliant and full life, but +that was all; and how few men are there of whom this could not be said! +He had become Mr. Tatham of Tatham's Cross, as well as Q.C. and M.P., +a county gentleman of modest but effective standing, a lawyer of high +reputation, quite eligible either for the bench or for political +elevation, had he cared for either, a member of Parliament with a +distinct standing, and therefore importance of his own. There was +probably throughout England no society in which he could have found +himself where his position and importance would have been unknown. He +was a man approaching fifty, who had not yet lost any of the power of +enjoyment or begun to feel the inroads of decay, at the very height of +life, and unconscious that the ground would shortly begin to slope +downwards under his feet; indeed, it showed no such indication as yet, +and probably would not do so for years. The broad plateau of middle age +lasts often till sixty, or even beyond. There was no reason to doubt +that for John Tatham it would last as long as for any man. His health +was perfect, and his habits those of a man whose self had never demanded +indulgences of the vulgar kind. He had given up with some regret, but +years before, his chambers in the Temple: that is, he retained them as +chambers, but lived in them no longer. He had a house in one of the +streets about Belgrave Square, one of those little bits of awkward, +three-cornered streets where there are some of the pleasantest houses +of a moderate kind in London; furnished from top to bottom, the stairs, +the comfortable quaint landings, the bits of corridor and passage, +nothing naked or neglected about it--no cold corner; but nothing +fantastic; not very much ornament, a few good pictures, a great deal +of highly-polished, old-fashioned dark mahogany, with a general flavour +of Sherraton and Chippendale: and abundance of books everywhere. John +was able to permit himself various little indulgences on which wives +are said to look with jealous eyes. He had a fancy for rare editions +(in which I sympathise) and also for bindings, which seems to me a +weakness--however, it was one which he indulged in moderation. He +possessed in his drawing-room (which was not very much used) a beautiful +old-fashioned harpsichord, and also he had belonging to him a fiddle +of value untold. I ought, of course, to say violin, or rather to +distinguish the instrument by its family name; I have no doubt it was a +Stradivarius. But there is an affectionate humour in the fiddle which +does not consist with fine titles. He had always been fond of music, but +even the Stradivarius did not beguile him, in the days of which I speak, +to play, nor perhaps was his performance worthy of it, though his taste +was said to be excellent. It will be perceived by all this that John +Tatham's life had many pleasures. + +And I am not myself sorry for him because he was not married, as many +people will be. Perhaps it is a little doleful coming home, when there +is never anybody looking out for you, expecting you. But then he had +never been accustomed to look for that, and the effect might have been +irksome rather than pleasant. His household went on velvet under the +care of a respectable couple who had "done for" Mr. Tatham for years. He +would not have submitted to extortion or waste, but everything was ample +in the house; the cook by no means stinted in respect to butter or any +of those condiments which are as necessary to good cooking as air is to +life. Mr. Tatham would not have understood a lack of anything, or that +what was served to him should not have been the best, supplied and +served in the best way. Failure on such points would have so much +surprised him that he would scarcely have known what steps to take. But +Jervis, his butler, knew what was best as well as Mr. Tatham did, and +was quite as little disposed to put up with any shortcoming. I say I am +not sorry for him that he was not married--up to this time. But, as a +matter of fact, the time does come when one becomes sorry for the +well-to-do, highly respectable, refined, and agreeable man who has +everything that heart can desire, except the best things in life--love, +and the companionship of those who are his very own. When old age looms +in sight everything is changed. But Mr. Tatham, as has been said, was +not quite fifty, and old age seemed as far off as if it could never be. + +He was a man who was very good to a number of people, and spent almost +as much money in being kind as if he had possessed extravagant children +of his own. His sister Mary, for instance, had married a clergyman not +very well off, and the natural result had followed. How they could have +existed without Uncle John, much less how they could have stumbled into +public schools, scholarships, and all the rest of it, would be difficult +to tell, especially now in these days when a girl's schooling ought, we +are told, to cost as much as a boy's. This latter is a grievance which +must be apparent to the meanest capacity. Unless the girl binds herself +by the most stringent vows _not_ to marry a poor curate or other +penniless man the moment that you have completed her expensive education, +I do not think she should in any case be permitted to go to Girton. +It is all very well when the parents are rich or the girls have a +sufficiency of their own. But to spend all that on a process which, +instead of fructifying in other schools and colleges, or producing in +life a highly accomplished woman, is to be lost at once and swallowed up +in another nursery, is the most unprofitable of benefactions. This is +what Mary Tatham's eldest girl had just done, almost before her bills at +Newnham had been paid. A wedding present had, so to speak, been demanded +from Uncle John at the end of the bayonet to show his satisfaction in +the event which had taken all meaning out of his exertions for little +Mary. He had given it indeed--in the shape not of a biscuit-box, which +is what she would have deserved, but of a cheque--but he was not +pleased. Neither was he pleased, as has been seen, by the proceedings of +Elinor, who had slighted all his advice yet clung to himself in a way +some women have. I do not know whether men expect you to be quite as +much their friend as ever after they have rejected your counsel and +taken their own (exactly opposite) way: but women do, and indeed I think +expect you to be rather grateful that they have not taken amiss the +advice which they have rejected and despised. This was Elinor's case. +She hoped that John was ashamed of advising her to make her boy +acquainted with his family and the fact of his father's existence, and +that he duly appreciated the fact that she did not resent that advice; +and then she expected from him the same attention to herself and her son +as if the boy had been guided in his and not in her way. Thus it will be +seen his friends and relations expected a very great deal from John. + +He had gone to his chambers one afternoon after he left the law courts, +and was there very busily engaged in getting up his notes for to-morrow's +work, when he received a visit which awakened at once echoes of the past +and alarms for the future in John's mind. It was very early in the year, +the end of January, and the House was not sitting, so that his public +duties were less overwhelming than usual. His room was the same in which +we have already seen on various occasions, and which Elinor in her +youth, before anything had happened to make life serious for her, had +been in the habit of calling the Star Chamber, for no reason in the +world except that law and penalties or judgments upon herself in her +unripe conviction, and suggestions of what ought to be done, came from +that place to which Mrs. Dennistoun had made resort in her perplexities +almost from the very beginning of John's reign there. Mr. Tatham had +been detained beyond his usual time by the importance of the case for +which he was preparing, and a clerk, very impatient to get free, yet +obliged to simulate content, had lighted the lamp and replenished the +fire. It had always been a comfortable room. The lamp by which John +worked had a green shade which concentrated the light upon a table +covered with that litter of papers in which there seemed so little +order, yet which Mr. Tatham knew to the last scrap as if they had been +the tidiest in the world. The long glazed book-case which filled up one +side of the room gave a dark reflection of the light and of the leaping +brightness of the fire. The curtains were drawn over the windows. If the +clerk fumed in the outer rooms, here all was studious life and quiet. +No spectator could have been otherwise than impressed by the air of +absolute self-concentration with which the eminent lawyer gave himself +up to his work. He was like his lamp, giving all the light in him to the +special subject, indifferent to everything outside. + +"What is it, Simmons?" he said abruptly, without looking up. + +"A lady, sir, who says she has urgent business and must see you." + +"A lady--who _must_ see me." John Tatham smiled at the very ineffectual +_must_, which meant coercion and distraction to him. "I don't see how +she is going to accomplish that." + +"I told her so," said the clerk. + +"Well, you must tell her so again." He had scarcely lifted his head from +his work, so that it was unnecessary to return to it when the door +closed, and Mr. Tatham went on steadily as before. + +It is easy to concentrate the light of the lamp when it is duly shaded +and no wind to blow it about, and it is easy to concentrate a man's +attention in the absolute quiet when nothing interrupts him; but when +there suddenly rises up a wind of talk in the room which is separated +from him only by a door, a tempest of chattering words and laughter, +shrill and bursting forth in something like shrieks, making the student +start, that is altogether a different business. The lady outside, who +evidently had multiplied herself--unless it was conceivable that the +serious Simmons had made himself her accomplice--had taken the cleverest +way of showing that she was not to be beat by any passive resistance of +busy man, though not even an audible conversation with Simmons would +have startled or disturbed his master, to whom it would have been +apparent that his faithful vassal was thus defending his own stronghold +and innermost retirement. But this was quite independent of Simmons, a +discussion in two voices, one high-pitched and shrill, the other softer, +but both absolutely unrestrained by any consciousness of being in a +place where the chatter of strange voices is forbidden, and stillness +and quiet a condition of being. The sound of the talk rang through Mr. +Tatham's head as if all the city bells were ringing. One of the unseen +ladies had a very shrill laugh, to which she gave vent freely. John +fidgeted in his chair, raised up his eyes above the level of his +spectacles (he wore spectacles, alas! by this time habitually when he +worked) as if lifting a voiceless appeal to those powers who interest +themselves in law cases to preserve him from disturbance, then made a +manly effort to disregard the sounds that filled the air, returning with +a shake of his head to his reading. But at the end of a long day, and in +the dulness of the afternoon, perhaps a man is less capable than at +other moments to fight against interruption of this kind and finally he +threw down his papers and touched his bell. Simmons came in full of pale +indignation, which made itself felt even beyond the circle illuminated +by the lamp. + +"What can I do?" he said. "They've planted themselves by the fire, and +there they mean to stay. 'Oh, very well, we'll wait,' they said, quite +calm. And I make no doubt they will, having nothing else to do, till all +is blue." + +Mr. Simmons had a gift of expression of which all his friends were +flatteringly sensible, and he was very friendly and condescending to +John, of whom he had taken care for many years. + +"What is to be done?" said Mr. Tatham. "Can't you do anything to get +them away?" + +Simmons shook his head. "There's two of them," he said, "and they +entertain each other, and they think it's fun to jabber like that in a +lawyer's office. The young one says, 'What a queer place!' and the +other, she holds forth about other times when she's been here." + +"Oh, she's been here other times---- Do you know her, Simmons?" + +"Not from Adam, Mr. Tatham--or, I should say, from Eve, as she's a +lady. But a real lady I should say, though she don't behave herself as +such--one of the impudent ones. They are never impudent like that," said +Mr. Simmons, with profound observation, "unless they are real high +or--real low." + +"Hum!" said John, hesitating. And then he added, "There is a young one, +you say?" + +But I do not myself think, though the light-minded may imagine it to be +so, that it was because there was a young one that John gave in. It was +because he could do nothing else, the noise and chatter of the voices +being entirely destructive of that undisturbed state of the atmosphere +in which work can be done. It was not merely the sounds but the vibration +they made in the air, breaking all its harmony and concentration. He +tried a little longer, but was unsuccessful, and finally in despair he +said to Simmons, "You had better show them in, and let me get done with +them," in an angry tone. + +"Oh, he will see us after all," said the high-pitched voice. "So good of +Mr. Tatham; but of course I should have waited all the same. Dolly, take +Toto; I can't possibly get up while I have him on my knee. You can tell +Mr. Tatham I did not send in my name to disturb him, which makes it all +the more charitable of him to receive me; but, dear me, of course I can +tell him that himself as he consents to see us. Dolly, don't strangle my +poor darling! I never saw a girl that didn't know how to take up a dear +dog before." + +"He's only a snappish little demon, and you spoil him so," said the +other voice. This was attended by the sound of movement as if the party +were getting under weigh. + +"My poor darling pet, it is only her jealousy: is that the way? Yes, to +be sure it is the next room. Now, Dolly, remember this is where all the +poor people are ruined and done for. Leave hope behind all ye who enter +here." A little shriek of laughter ended this speech. And John, looking +up, taking off his spectacles, and raising a little the shade of the +lamp, saw in the doorway Lady Mariamne, altered as was inevitable by the +strain and stress of nearly twenty years. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIV. + + +I do not mean to assert that John Tatham had not seen Lady Mariamne +during these twenty years, or that her changed appearance burst upon him +with anything like a shock. In society, when you are once a member of +that little world within a world, everybody sees everybody else from +time to time. He had not recognised her voice, for he was not in the +smallest degree thinking of Lady Mariamne or of any member of her +family, notwithstanding that they now and then did make a very marked +appearance in his mind in respect of the important question of that +connection which Elinor in her foolishness tried to ignore. And John was +not at all shocked by the progress of that twenty years, as reflected in +the appearance of this lady, who was about his own standing, a woman +very near fifty, but who had fought strenuously against every sign of +her age, as some women foolishly do. The result was in Lady Mariamne's +case, as in many others, that the number of her years looked more like a +hundred and fifty than their natural limit. A woman of her class has but +two alternatives as she gets old. She must get stout, in which case, +though she becomes unwieldy, she preserves something of her bloom; or +she may grow thin, and become a spectre upon which art has to do so much +that nature, flouted and tortured, becomes vindictive, and withdraws +every modifying quality. Lady Mariamne had, I fear, false hair, false +teeth, false complexion, everything that invention could do in a +poor little human countenance intended for no such manipulation. The +consequence was that every natural advantage (and there are some which +age confers, as well as many that age takes away) was lost. The skin was +parchment, the eyes were like eyes of fishes, the teeth--too white and +too perfect--looked like the horrible things in the dentists' windows, +which was precisely what they were. On such a woman, the very height +of the fashion, to which she so often attaches herself with desperation, +has an antiquated air. Everything "swears," as the French say, +with everything else. The softness, the whiteness, the ease, the +self-abnegation of advancing age are all so many ornaments if people +but knew. But Lady Mariamne had none of these. She wore a warm cloak +in her carriage, it is true, but that had dropped from her shoulders, +leaving her in all the bound-up rigidity in which youth is trim and +slim and elastic, as becomes it. It is true that many a woman of fifty +is, as John Tatham was, serenely dwelling on that tableland which +shows but little difference between thirty-five, the crown of life, and +fifty-five; but Lady Mariamne was not one of these. She had gone "too +fast," she would herself have allowed; "the pace" had been too much for +such survivals. She was of the awful order of superannuated beauties of +which Mr. Rider Haggard would in vain persuade us "She" was not one. I +am myself convinced that "She's" thousands of years were all written on +her fictitious complexion, and that other people saw them clearly if not +her unfortunate lover. And Lady Mariamne had come to be of the order of +"She." By dint of wiping out the traces of her fifty years, she had made +herself look as if she might have been a thousand, and in this guise she +appeared to the robust, ruddy, well-preserved man of her own age, as she +stood, with a fantastic little giggle, calling his attention, on the +threshold of his door. + +Behind Lady Mariamne was a very different figure--that of the serious +and independent girl without any illusions, who is in so many cases the +child of such a mother, and who is in revolt so complete from all that +mother's traditions, so highly set on the crown of every opposite +principle, that nature vindicates itself by the possibility that she +may at any moment topple over and become again what her mother was. He +would have been a bold man, however, who in the present stage would +have prophesied any such fate for Dolly Prestwich, who between working +at Whitechapel, attending on a ward in St. Thomas's, drawing three +days a week in the Slade School, and other labours of equally varied +descriptions, had her time very fully taken up, and only on special +occasions had time to accompany her mother. She had been beguiled on +this occasion by the family history which was concerned, and which, _fin +de siècle_ as Dolly was, excited her curiosity almost as much as if she +had been born in the "forties." Dolly was never unkind, sometimes indeed +was quite the reverse, to her mother. When Mr. Tatham, with a man's +brutal unconsciousness of what is desirable, placed a chair for Lady +Mariamne in front of the fire, Dolly twisted it round with a dexterous +movement so as to shield the countenance which was not adapted for any +such illumination. For herself, Dolly cared nothing, whether it was the +noonday sun or the blaze of a furnace that shone upon her; she defied +them both to make her wink. As for complexion, she scorned that +old-fashioned vanity. She had not very much, it is true. Having been +scorched red and brown in Alpine expeditions in the autumn, she was now +of a somewhat dry whitish-greyish hue, the result of much loss of +cuticle and constant encounter with London fogs and smoke. She carried +Toto--who was a shrinking, chilly Italian greyhound--in a coat, +carelessly under one arm, and sat down beside her mother, studying the +papers on John's table with exceedingly curious eyes. She would have +liked to go over all his notes about his case, and form her own opinion +on it--which she would have done, we may be sure, much more rapidly, and +with more decision, than Mr. Tatham could do. + +"So here I am again, you will say," said Lady Mariamne. She had taken +off her gloves, and was smoothing her hands, from the points of the +fingers downwards, not, I believe, with any intention of demonstrating +their whiteness, but solely because she had once done so, and the habit +remained. She wore several fine rings, and her hands were still pretty, +and--unlike the rest of her--younger than her age. They made a little +show with their sparkling diamonds, just catching the edge of the light +from John's shaded lamp. Her face by Dolly's help was in the shadow of +the green shade. "You will say so, Mr. Tatham, I know: here she is +again--without thinking how self-denying I have been, never to come, +never to ask a single question, for all these years." + +"The loss is mine, Lady Mariamne," said John, gravely. + +"It's very pretty of you to say that, isn't it, Dolly? One's old flirts +don't always show up so well." And here the lady gave a laugh, such as +had once been supposed to be one of Lady Mariamne's charms, but which +was rather like a giggle now--an antiquated giggle, which is much less +satisfactory than the genuine article. "How I used to worry you about +poor Phil, and that little spitfire of a Nell--and what a mess they have +made of it! I suppose you know what changes have happened in the family, +Mr. Tatham, since those days?" + +"I heard indeed, with regret, Lady Mariamne, that you had lost a +brother----" + +"A brother! two!" she cried. "Isn't it extraordinary--poor Hal, that was +the picture of health? How little one knows! He just went, don't you +know, without any one ever thinking he would go. Regg in India was +different--you expect that sort of thing when a man is in India. But +poor Hal! I told you Mr. Tatham wouldn't have heard of it, Dolly, not +being in our own set, don't you know." + +"It was in all the papers," said Miss Dolly. + +"Ah, well, you didn't notice it, I suppose: or perhaps you were away. I +always say it is of no use being married or dying or anything else in +September--your friends never hear of it. You will wonder that I am not +in black, but black was always very unbecoming to me, and dark grey is +just as good, and doesn't make one quite so ghastly. But the funny thing +is that now Phil--who looked as if he never could be in the running, +don't you know--is heir presumptive. Isn't it extraordinary? Two gone, +and Phil, that lived much faster than either of them, and at one time +kept up an awful pace, has seen them both out. And St. Serf has never +married. He won't now, though I have been at him on the subject for +years. He says, not if he knows it, in the horrid way men have. And I +don't wonder much, for he has had some nasty experiences, poor fellow. +There was Lady---- Oh, I almost forgot you were there, Dolly." + +"You needn't mind me," said Dolly, gravely; "I've heard just as bad." + +"Well," said Lady Mariamne, with a giggle, "did you ever know anything +like those girls? They are not afraid of anything. Now, when I was a +girl--don't you remember what an innocent dear I was, Mr. Tatham?--like +a lamb; never suspecting that there was any naughtiness in the +world----" + +John endeavoured to put on a smile, in feeble sympathy with the +uproariousness of Lady Mariamne's laugh--but her daughter took no such +trouble. She sat as grave as a young judge, never moving a muscle. The +dog, however, held in her arms, and not at all comfortable, then making +prodigious efforts to struggle on to its mistress's more commodious lap, +burst out into a responsive bark, as shrill and not much unlike. + +"Darling Toto," said Lady Mariamne, "come!--it always knows what +it's mummy means. Did you ever see such a darling little head, Mr. +Tatham?--and the faithful pet always laughs when I laugh. What was I +talking of?--St. Serf and his ladies. Well, it is not much wonder, you +know, is it? for he has always been a sort of an invalid, and he will +never marry now--and poor Hal being gone there's only Phil. Phil's been +going a pace, Mr. Tatham; but he has had a bad illness, too, and the +other boys going has sobered him a bit; and I do believe, _now_, that +he'll probably mend. And there he is, you know, tied to a---- Oh, of +course, _she_ is as right as a--as right as a--trivet, whatever that may +be. Those sort of heartless people always are: and then there's the +child. Is it living, Mr. Tatham?--that's what I want to know." + +"Philip is alive and well, Lady Mariamne, if that is what you want to +know." + +"Philip!--she called him after Phil, after all! Well, that is something +wonderful. I expected to hear he was John, or Jonathan, or something. +Now, where is he?" said Lady Mariamne, with the most insinuating air. + +John burst into a short laugh. "I don't suppose you expect me to tell +you," he said. + +"Why not?--you can't hide a boy that is heir to a peerage, Mr. Tatham!--it +is impossible. Nell has done the best she could in that way. They know +nothing about her in that awful place she was married from--of course +you remember it--a dreadful place, enough to make one commit suicide, +don't you know. The Cottage, or whatever they call it, is let, and +nobody knows anything about them. I took the trouble to go there, I +assure you, on my own hook, to see if I could find out something. Toto +nearly died of it, didn't you, darling? Not a drop of cream to be had +for him, the poor angel; only a little nasty skim milk. But Mr. Tatham +has the barbarity to smile," she went on, with a shrill outcry. "Fancy, +Toto--the cruelty to smile!" + +"No cream for the angel, and no information for his mistress," said +John. + +"You horrid, cruel, cold-blooded man!--and you sit there at your ease, +and will do nothing for us----" + +"Should you like me," said John, "to send out for cream for your dog, +Lady Mariamne?" + +"Cream in the Temple?" said the lady. "What sort of a compound would it +be, Dolly? All plaster of Paris, or stuff of that sort. Perhaps you have +tea sometimes in these parts----" + +"Very seldom," said John; "but it might be obtainable if you would like +it." He put forward his hand, but not with much alacrity, to the bell. + +"Mother never takes any tea," said Miss Dolly, hastily; "she only +crumbles down cake into it for that little brute." + +"It is you who are a little brute, you unnatural child. Toto likes his +tea very much--he is dying for it. But you must have patience, my pet, +for probably it would be very bad, and the cream all stucco, or something. +Mr. Tatham, do tell us what has become of Nell? Now, have you hidden her +somewhere in London, St. John's Wood, and that sort of thing, don't you +know? or where is she? Is the old woman living? and how has that boy +been brought up? At a dame's school, or something of that sort, I +suppose." + +"Mother," said Dolly, "you ought to know there are now no dame's +schools. There's Board Schools, which is what you mean, I suppose; and +it would be very good for him if he had been there. They would teach him +a great deal more than was ever taught to Uncle Phil." + +"Teach him!" said Lady Mariamne, with another shriek. "Did I ask +anything about teaching? Heaven forbid! Mr. Tatham knows what I mean, +Dolly. Has he been at any decent place--or has he been where it will +never be heard of? Eton and Harrow one knows, and the dame's schools one +knows, but horrible Board Schools, or things, where they might say young +Lord Lomond was brought up--oh, goodness gracious! One has to bear a +great many things, but I could not bear that." + +"It does not matter much, does it, so long as he does not come within +the range of his nearest relations?" This was from John, who was almost +at the end of his patience. He began to put his papers back in a +portfolio, with the intention of carrying them home with him, for his +hour's work had been spoilt as well as his temper. "I am afraid," he +added, "that I cannot give you any information, Lady Mariamne." + +"Oh, such nonsense, Mr. Tatham!--as if the heir to a peerage could be +hid." + +It was not often that Lady Mariamne produced an unanswerable effect, +but against this last sentence of hers John had absolutely nothing to +say. He stared at her for a moment, and then he returned to his papers, +shovelling them into the portfolio with vehemence. Fortunately, she did +not herself see how potent was her argument. She went on diluting it +till it lost all its power. + +"There is the 'Peerage,' if it was nothing else--they must have the +right particulars for that. Why, Dolly is at full length in it, her age +and all, poor child; and Toto, too, for anything I know. Is du in the +'Peerage,' dear Toto, darling? And yet Toto can't succeed, nor Dolly +either. And this year Phil will be in as heir presumptive and his +marriage and all--and then a blank line. It's ridiculous, it's horrible, +it's a thing that can't, can't be! Only think of all the troops of +people, nice people, the best people, that read the 'Peerage,' Mr. +Tatham!--and that know Phil is married, and that there is a child, and +yet will see nothing but that blank line. Nell was always a little fool, +and never could see things in a common-sense way. But a man ought to +know better--and a lawyer, with chambers in the Temple! Why, people come +and consult you on such matters--I might be coming to ask you to send +out detectives, and that sort of thing. How do you dare to hide away +that boy?" + +Lady Mariamne stamped her foot at John, but this proceeding very much +incommoded Toto, who, disturbed in his position on her knee, got upon +his feet and began to bark furiously, first at his mistress and then, +following her impulse, at the gentleman opposite to her, backing against +the lady's shoulder and setting up his little nose furiously with +vibrations of rage against John, while stumbling upon the uncertain +footing of the lap, volcanically shaken by the movement. The result of +this onslaught was to send Lady Mariamne into shrieks of laughter, in +the midst of which she half smothered Toto with mingled endearments and +attempts at restraint, until Dolly, coming to the rescue, seized him +summarily and snatched him away. + +"The darling!" cried Lady Mariamne, "he sees it, and you can't see it, a +great big lawyer though you are. Dolly, don't throttle my angel child. +Stands up for his family, don't he, the dear? Mr. Tatham, how can you be +so bigoted and stubborn, when our dear little Toto---- But you always +were the most obstinate man. Do you remember once, when I wanted to take +you to Lady Dogberry's dance--wasn't it Lady Dogberry's?--well, it was +Lady Somebody's--and you said you were not asked, and I said, what did +it matter: but to make you go, and Nell was with me--we might as well +have tried to make St. Paul's go----" + +"My dear Lady Mariamne," said John. + +She held up a finger at him with the engaging playfulness of old. "How +can I be your dear Lady Mariamne, Mr. Tatham, when you won't do a thing +I ask you? What, Dolly? Yes, we must go, of course, or I shall not have +my nap before dinner. I always have a nap before dinner, for the sake of +my complexion, don't you know--my beauty nap, they call it. Now, Mr. +Tatham, come to me to-morrow, and you shall give Toto his cream, to show +you bear no malice, and tell me all about the boy. Don't be an obstinate +pig, Mr. Tatham. Now, I shall look for you--without fail. Shan't we look +for him, Dolly?--and Toto will give you a paw and forgive you--and you +must tell me all about the boy." + + + + +CHAPTER XXXV. + + +To tell her all about the boy! + +John Tatham shovelled his papers into his portfolio, and shut it up with +a snap of embarrassment, a sort of confession of weakness. He pushed +back his chair with the same sharpness, almost making a noise upon the +old Turkey carpet, and he touched his bell so that it sounded with a +shrill electric ping, almost like a pistol-shot. Simmons understood all +these signs, and he was very sympathetic when he came in to take Mr. +Tatham's last orders and help him on with his coat. + +"Spoilt your evening's work," said Simmons, compassionately. "I knew +they would. Ladies never should enter a gentleman's chambers if I could +help it. They've got nothing to do in the Temple." + +"You forget some men in the Temple are married, Simmons." + +"What does that matter?" said the clerk; "let 'em see their wives at +home, sir. What I will maintain is that ladies have no business here." + +This was a little ungrateful, it must be said, for Simmons probably got +off three-quarters of an hour earlier than he would have done had Mr. +Tatham remained undisturbed. As it was, John had some ten minutes to +wait before his habitual hansom drew up at the door. + +It was not the first time by many times that Mr. Tatham had considered +the question which he now took with him into his hansom, and which +occupied him more or less all the way to Halkin Street. Lady Mariamne, +however, had put it very neatly and very conclusively when she said that +you can't hide the heir to a peerage--more concisely at least than John +had himself put it in his many thoughts on the subject--for, to tell the +truth, John had never considered the boy in this aspect. That he should +ever be the heir to a peerage had seemed one of those possibilities +which so outrage nature, and are so very like fiction, that the sober +mind rejects them with almost a fling of impatience. And yet how often +they come true! He had never heard--a fact of which he felt partly +ashamed, for it was an event of too much importance to be ignored +by any one connected with Elinor--of Hal Compton's death. John was not +acquainted with Hal Compton any more than he was with other men who come +and go in society, occasionally seen, but open to no particular remark. +A son of Lord St. Serf--the best of the lot--a Compton with very little +against him: these were things which he had heard said and had taken +little notice of. Hal was healthier, less objectionable, a better life +than Phil's, and yet Hal was gone, who ought by all rights to have +succeeded his invalid brother. It was true that the invalid brother, who +had seen the end of two vigorous men, might also see out Phil. But that +would make little difference in the position, unless indeed by modifying +Elinor's feelings and removing her reluctance to make her boy known. +John shook his head as he went on with his thoughts, and decided within +himself that this was the very reason why Phil Compton should survive +and become Lord St. Serf, and make the imbroglio worse, if worse were +possible. It had not required this to make it a hideous imbroglio, the +most foolish and wanton that ever a woman made. He wondered at himself +when he thought of it how he had ever consented to it, ever permitted +such a state of affairs; and yet what could he have done? He had no +right to interfere even in the way of advice, which he had given until +everybody was sick of him and his counsels. He could not have betrayed +his cousin. To tell her that she was conducting her affairs very +foolishly, laying up untold troubles for herself, was what he had done +freely, going to the very edge of a breach. And he had no right to do +any more. He could not force her to adopt his method, neither could he +betray her when she took her own way. Nevertheless, there can be no +doubt that John felt himself almost an accomplice, involved in this +unwise folly, with a sort of responsibility for it, and almost guilt. It +did not indeed change young Philip's moral position in any way, or +make the discovery that he had a father living more likely to shock +and bewilder him that this discovery should come mingled with many +extraneous wonders. And yet these facts did alter the circumstances. +"You cannot hide the heir to a peerage." Lady Mariamne was far, very +far, from being a philosopher or a person of genius, and yet this which +she had said was in reality quite unanswerable. Phil Compton might have +been ignored for ever by his wife and child had he remained only the +_dis_-Honourable Phil, a younger son and a nobody. But Phil Compton as +Lord St. Serf could not be ignored. Elinor had been wise enough never to +change her name, that is to say, she had been too proud to do so, though +nobody knew of the existence of that prefix which was so inappropriate +to her husband's character. But now Mrs. Compton would no longer be her +name; and Philip, the boy at the big northern grammar-school, would be +Lord Lomond. An unlooked-for summons like this has sometimes the power +of turning the heads of the heirs so suddenly ennobled, but it did +anything but convey elation to John's mind in the prospect of its effect +upon his relations. Would she see reason _now?_ Would she be brought to +allow that something must be done, or would she remain obdurate to the +end of the chapter? A great impatience with Elinor filled John's mind. +She was, as the reader knows, the only woman to John Tatham; but what +does that matter? He did not approve of her any more on that account. He +was even more conscious of the faults of which she was guilty. He was +aware of her obstinacy, her determined adherence to her own way as no +other man in the world was. Would she acknowledge now at last that she +was wrong, and give in? I am obliged to confess that the giving in of +Elinor was the last spectacle in heaven or earth which John Tatham could +conceive. + +He went over these circumstances as he drove through all of London that +is to some people worth calling London, on that dark January night, +passing from the light of the busy streets into the comparative darkness +of those in which people live, without in the least remarking where he +was going, except in his thoughts. He had not the least intention of +accepting the invitation of Lady Mariamne, nor did his mind dwell upon +her or the change that age had wrought in her. But yet the Compton +family had gained an interest in John's eyes which it did not possess +even at the time when Elinor's marriage first brought its name into his +thoughts. Philip--young Philip--the boy, as John called him in his own +mind, in fond identification--was as near John's own child as anything +ever could be in this world. He had many nephews and nieces belonging to +him by a more authentic title, but none of these was in the least like +Philip, whom none of all the kindred knew but himself, and who, so +far as he was aware, had but one kinsman in the world, who was Uncle +John. He had followed the development of the boy's mind always with a +reference to those facts of which Philip knew nothing, which would be +so wonderful to him when the revelation came. To John that little world +at Lakeside--where the ladies had made an artificial existence for +themselves, which was at the same time so natural, so sweet, so full +of all the humanities and charities--was something like what we might +suppose this erring world to be to some archangel great enough to see +how everything is, not great enough to give the impulse that would put +it right. If the great celestial intelligences are allowed to know and +mark out perverse human ways, how much impatience with us must mingle +with their tenderness and pity! John Tatham had little perhaps that was +heavenly about him, but he loved Elinor and her son, and was absolutely +free of selfishness in respect to them. Never, he was aware, could +either woman or child be more to him than they were now. Nay, they were +everything to him, but on their own account, not his; he desired their +welfare absolutely, and not his own through them. Elinor was capable at +any moment of turning upon him, of saying, if not in words, yet in +undeniable inference, what is it to you? and the boy, though he gladly +referred to Uncle John when Uncle John was in the way, took him with +perfect composure as a being apart from his life. They were everything +to him, but he was nothing to them. His whole heart was set upon their +peace, upon their comfort and well-being, but as much apart from himself +as if he had not been. + +Mr. Tatham was dining out that night, which was a good thing for him to +distract his thoughts from this problem, which he could only torment +himself about and could not solve; and there was an evening party at the +same house--one of those quieter, less-frequented parties which are, +people in London tell you, so much more agreeable than in the crowd of +the season. It was a curious kind of coincidence that at this little +assembly, which might have been thought not at all in her way, he met +Lady Mariamne, accompanied by her daughter, again. It was not in her +way, being a judge's house, where frivolity, though it had a certain +place, was not the first element. But then when there are few things to +choose from, people must not be too particular, and those who cannot +have society absolutely of their own choosing, are bound, as in other +cases of necessity, to take what they can get. And then Dolly liked to +hear people talking of things which she did not understand. When Lady +Mariamne saw that John Tatham was there she gave a little shriek of +satisfaction, and rushed at him as if they had been the dearest friends +in the world. "So delighted to see you _again_," she cried, giving +everybody around the idea of the most intimate relationship. "It was the +most wonderful good fortune that I got my Toto home in safety, poor +darling; for you know, Mr. Tatham, you would not give him any tea, and +Dolly, who is quite unnatural, pitched him into the carriage and simply +sat upon him--sat upon him, Mr. Tatham! before I could interfere. Oh, +you do not know half the trials a woman has to go through! And now +please take me to have some coffee or something, and let us finish the +conversation we were having when Dolly made me go away." + +John could not refuse his arm, nor his services in respect to the +coffee, but he was mute on the subject on which his companion was bent. +He tried to divert her attention by some questions on the subject of +Dolly instead. + +"Dolly! oh, yes, she's a girl of the period, don't you know--not what a +girl of the period used to be in _our_ day, Mr. Tatham, when those nasty +newspaper people wrote us down. Look at her talking to those two men, +and laying down the law. Now, we never laid down the law; we knew best +about things in our sphere--dress, and the drawing-room, and what people +were doing in society. But Dolly would tell you how to manage your next +great case, Mr. Tatham, or she could give one of those doctor-men a +wrinkle about cutting off a leg. Gracious, I should have fainted only to +hear of such a thing! Tell me, are those doctor-men supposed to be in +society?" Lady Mariamne cried, putting up her thin shoulder (which was +far too like a specimen of anatomy) in the direction of a famous +physician who was blandly smiling upon the instruction which Miss Dolly +assuredly intended to convey. + +"As much as lawyer-men are in society," replied John. + +"Oh, Mr. Tatham, such nonsense! Lawyers have always been in society. +What are the Attorney General and Lord Chancellor and so forth? They +are all lawyers; but I never heard of a doctor that was in the Cabinet, +which makes all the difference. Here is a quiet corner, where nobody can +disturb us. Sit down; it will be for all the world like sitting out a +dance together: and tell me about Nell and her boy." + +"And what if I have nothing to tell?" said John, who did not feel at all +like sitting out a dance; but, on the contrary, was much more upright +and perpendicular than even a queen's counsel of fifty has any need to +be. + +"Oh, sit down, _please!_ I never could bear a man standing over me, as +if he had swallowed a poker. Why did she go off and leave Phil? Where +did she go to? I told you I went off on my own hook to that horrid place +where they lived, and knocked up the old clergyman and the woman who +wanted me to put on a shawl over one of the prettiest gowns I ever had. +Fancy, the Vandal! But they knew nothing at all of her there. Where is +Nell, Mr. Tatham? You don't pretend not to know. And the boy? Why he +must be about eighteen--and if St. Serf were to die---- Mr. Tatham, you +know it is quite, quite intolerable, and not to be borne! I don't know +what steps Phil has taken. He has been awfully good--he has never said +a word. To hear him you would think she was far too nice to be mixed up +with a set of people like us. But now, you know, he must be got hold +of--he must, he must! Why, he'd be Lomond if St. Serf were to die! and +everybody would be crying out, 'Where's the heir?' After Phil there's +the Bagley Comptons, and they would set up for being heirs presumptive, +unless you can produce that boy." + +"But the boy is not mine that I should produce him," said John. + +"Oh, Mr. Tatham! when Nell is your relation, and always, always was +advised by you. You may tell that to the Marines, or anybody that will +believe it. You need not think you can take me in." + +"I hope not to take in anybody. If being advised by me means +persistently declining to do what I suggest and recommend----" + +"Oh, then, you are of the same opinion as I am!" said Lady Mariamne. +"Bravo! now we shall manage something. If you had been like that years +ago when I used to go to you, don't you remember, to beg you to smooth +things down--but you would never see it, till the smash came." + +"I wish," said John, not without a little bitterness, "that I could +persuade you how little influence I have. There are some women, I +suppose, who take advice when it is given to them; but the women whom I +have ever had anything to do with, I am sorry to say----" + +"I'll promise," cried Lady Mariamne, putting her hands and rings +together in an attitude of supplication, "to do what you tell me +faithfully, if you'll advise me where I'll find the boy. Oh, let Nell +alone, if you want to keep her to yourself--I sha'n't spoil sport, Mr. +Tatham, I promise you," she cried, with her shrill laugh; "only tell me +where I'll find the boy. What is it you want, Dolly, coming after me +like a policeman? Don't you see I am busy? We are sitting out the dance, +Mr. Tatham and I." + +Dolly did not join in her mother's laugh nor unbend in the least. "As +there is no dancing," she said, "and everybody is going, I thought you +would prefer to go too." + +"But we shall see you to-morrow, Mr. Tatham? Now, I cannot take any +refusal. You must come, if it were only for Toto's sake; and Dolly will +go out, I hope, on one of her great works and will not come to disturb +us, just when I have persuaded you to speak--for you were just going +to open your mouth. Now you know you were! Five o'clock to-morrow, +Mr. Tatham, whatever happens. Now remember! and you are to tell me +everything." She held up her finger to him, half threatening, half +coaxing, and then, with a peal of laughter, yielded to Dolly, and was +taken away. + +"I did not know, Tatham," said the Judge who was his host, "that you +were on terms of such friendship with Lady Mariamne." + +"Nor did I," said John Tatham, with a yawn. + +"Queer thing this is about that old business, in which her brother was +mixed up--haven't you heard? one of those companies that came to smash +somewhere about twenty years ago. The manager absconded, and there was +something queer about the books. Well, the fellow, the manager, has been +caught at last, and there will be a trial. It's in your way--you will be +offered a brief, no doubt, with refreshers every day, you lucky fellow. +I have just as much trouble and no refreshers. What a fool a man is, +Tatham, ever to change the Bar for the Bench! Don't you do it, my dear +fellow--take a man's advice who knows." + +"At least I shall wait till I am asked," said John. + +"Oh, you will be asked sooner or later--but don't do it--take example by +those who have gone before you," said the great functionary, shaking his +learned head. + +And the Judge's wife had also a word to say. "Mr. Tatham," she said, as +he took his leave, "I know now what I have to do when I want to secure +Lady Mariamne--I shall ask you." + +"Do you often want to secure Lady Mariamne?" said John. + +"Oh, it is all very well to look as if you didn't care! She is, perhaps, +a little _passée_, but still a great many people think her charming. +Isn't there a family connection?" Lady Wigsby said, with a curiosity +which she tried not to make too apparent, for she was acquainted with +the ways of the profession, and knew that was the last thing likely to +procure her the information she sought. + +"It cannot be called a connection. There was a marriage--which turned +out badly." + +"Oh, I beg your pardon, Mr. Tatham, if the question was indiscreet! I +hear Lord St. Serf is worse again, and not likely to last long; and +there is some strange story about a lost heir." + +"Good-night, Lady Wigsby," John replied. + +And he added, "Confound Lord St. Serf," under his breath, as he went +down-stairs. + +But it was not Lord St. Serf, poor man, who had done him no harm, whom +John wished to be confounded because at last, after many threatenings, +he was about to be so ill-advised as to die. It was some one very +different. It was the woman who for much more than twenty years had been +the chief object of John Tatham's thoughts. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVI. + + +Things relapsed into quietness for some time after that combination +which seemed to be directed against John's peace of mind. If I said that +it is not unusual for the current of events to run very quietly before +a great crisis, I should not be saying anything original, since the +torrent's calmness ere it dash below has been remarked before now. But +it certainly was so in this instance. John, I need scarcely say, did not +present himself at Lady Mariamne's on the afternoon at five when he was +expected. He wrote a very civil note to say that he was unable to come, +and still less able to give the information her ladyship required; and, +to tell the truth, in his alarm lest Lady Mariamne should repeat her +invasion, Mr. Tatham was guilty of concerting with his clerk, the +excellent Simmons, various means of eluding such a danger. And he +exercised the greatest circumspection in regard to his own invitations, +and went nowhere where there was the least danger of meeting her. In +this way for a few months he had kept himself safe. + +It may be imagined, then, how great was his annoyance when Simmons came +in again, very diffident, coughing behind his hand, and taking shelter +in the shaded part of the room, with the hesitating statement that a +lady--who would take no denial, who looked as if she knew the chambers +as well as he did, and could hardly be kept from walking straight in--was +waiting to see Mr. Tatham. John sprang to his feet with words which were +not benedictions. "I thought," he said, "you ass, that you knew exactly +what to say." + +"But, sir," said Simmons, "it is not the same lady--it is not at all the +same lady. It is a lady who----" + +But here the question was summarily settled, for the door was pushed +open though Simmons still held it with his hand, and a voice, which was +more like the voice of Elinor Dennistoun at eighteen than that of Mrs. +Compton, said quickly, "I know, John, that your door can't be shut for +me." + +"Elinor!" he said, getting up from his chair. + +"I know," she repeated, "that there must be some mistake--that your door +could not be shut for me." + +"No, of course not," he said. "It is all right, Simmons; but who +could have thought of seeing you here? It was a contingency I never +anticipated. When did you come? where are you staying? Is Philip with +you?" He overwhelmed her with questions, perhaps by way of stopping her +mouth lest she should put questions still more difficult to answer to +himself. + +"Let me take breath a little," she said. "I scarcely have taken breath +since the--thing happened which has brought me here; but I feel a little +confidence now with the strong backing I have in you, John." + +"My dear Elinor," he said, "I am afraid you must not look for any strong +backing in me." + +"Why?" she cried. "Have you judged it all beforehand? And do you +know--are you quite, quite sure, John, that I cannot avoid it in any +way, that I am obliged at all costs to appear? I would rather fly the +country, I would rather leave Lakeside altogether and settle abroad. +There is nothing in the world that I would not rather do." + +"Elinor," said John, with some sternness, "you cannot believe that I +would oppose you in any possible thing. Your pleasure has been a law to +me. I may have differed with you, but I have never made any difference." + +"John! you do not mean to say," she cried, turning pale, "that you are +going to abandon me now?" + +"Of course, that is merely a figure of speech," he said. "How could I +abandon you? But it is quite true what that woman says, and I entirely +agree with her and not with you in this respect, that the heir to a +peerage cannot be hid----" + +"The heir to a peerage!" she faltered, looking at him astonished. +Gradually a sort of slowly growing light seemed to diffuse itself over +her face. "The heir to a peerage, John! I don't know what you mean." + +"Is this not your reason for coming to town?" + +"There is nothing--that I know of--about the heir to a peerage. Who is +this heir to a peerage? I don't know what you mean, but you frighten me. +Is that a reason why I should be dragged out of my seclusion and made to +appear in his defence? Oh, no--surely no; if he is _that_, they will let +him off. They will not press it. I shall not be wanted. John, the more +reason that you should stand by me----" + +"We are at cross-purposes, Elinor. What has brought you to London? Let +me know on your side and then I shall understand what I have got to +do." + +"_That_ has brought me to London." She handed him a piece of paper which +John knew very well the appearance of. He understood it better than she +did, and he was not afraid of it, which she was, but he opened it all +the same with a great deal of surprise. It was a subpoena charging +Elinor Compton to appear and bear testimony--in the case of the _Queen_ +versus _Brown_. + +"The _Queen_ versus _Brown!_ What have you got to do with such a case? +You, Elinor, of all people in the world! Oh!" he said suddenly as a +light, but a dim one, began to break upon him. It was the case of which +his friend the judge had spoken, and in which he had been offered a +retainer, as a matter of fact, shortly after that talk. He had been +obliged to refuse, his time being already fully taken up, and he had not +looked into the case. But now it began slowly to dawn upon him that the +trial was that of the once absconded manager of a certain joint-stock +company, and that this was precisely the company in which Elinor's money +had been all but invested by her husband. It might be upon that subject +that she had to appear. + +"Well," he said, "I can imagine a possible reason why you should be +called, and yet not a good one; for it was not of course you who were +acting, but your--husband for you. It is he that should appear, and not +you." + +"Oh, John," she cried. "Oh, John!" wringing her hands. She had followed +his looks eagerly, noticing the light that seemed to dawn over his face +with a strange anxiety and keen interest. But John, it was evident, had +not got the clue which she expected, and her face changed into +impatience, disappointment, exasperation. "You have not heard anything +about it," she said; "you don't know." + +"It was brought to me," he said, "but I could not take it up--no, I +don't know--except that it's curious from the lapse of time--twenty +years or thereabouts: that's all I know." + +"The question is," she said, "about a date. There were some books +destroyed, and it is not known who did it. Suspicion fell upon one--who +might have been guilty: but that on that day--he arrived at the house of +the girl--whom he was going to marry: and consequently could not have +been there----" + +"Elinor!" + +"Yes," she said, "that is what I am wanted for, John, an excellent +reason after all these years. I must appear to--clear my husband: and +that is how Pippo will find out that I have a husband and he a father. +Oh, John, John! support me with your approval, and help me, oh, help me +to go away." + +"Good gracious!" was all that John could say. + +"I should have gone first and asked you after," she cried, "for you are +a lawyer, and I suppose you will think you must not advise any one to +fly in the face of the law. And I don't even know whether it will be of +any use to fly. Will they have it in the papers all the same? Will they +put it in that his wife refused to appear on his behalf, that she had +gone away to avoid the summons? Will it be all there for Pippo to guess +and wonder at the name and come to me with questions, mother, who is +this? and mother, what is that? John, can't you answer me, you that I +came to to guide me, to tell me what I must do; have you nothing, +nothing to say?" + +"I am too much bewildered to know what I am doing, Elinor. This is all +sprung upon me like a mine: and there was plenty before." + +"There was nothing before," she cried, indignantly, "it was all plain +sailing before. He knew nothing of family troubles--how should he, poor +child, being so young? That was simple enough. And I think I see a way +still, John. I will take him off at Easter for a trip abroad, and when +we have started to go to Switzerland or somewhere, I will change my +mind, and make him think of Greece or somewhere far, far away--the East +where there will be no newspapers. Tell me when the trial will come on, +and how long you think it will last, and I will keep him away till it is +all over. John! you have nothing surely to say against that? Think from +how much it will save the boy." + +"It is impossible, Elinor, that the boy can be saved. I never knew of +this complication, but there are other circumstances, of which I have +lately heard." + +"What can any other circumstances have to do with it, John, even if he +must hear? I know, I know, you have always been determined upon that. Is +that the way you would have him hear, not only that he has a father, but +that his father was involved in--in transactions like that before ever +he was born?" + +"Elinor, let us understand each other," said Mr. Tatham. "You mean that +you have it in your power to exonerate your husband, and he has had you +subpoenaed, knowing this?" + +She looked at him with a look which he could not fathom. Was it reluctance +to save Phil Compton that was in Elinor's eyes? Was she ready to leave +her husband to destruction when she could prevent it, in order to save +her boy from the knowledge of his existence? John Tatham was horrified +by the look she fixed upon him, though he could not read it. He thought +he could read it, and read it that way, in the way of hate and deliberate +preference of her own will to all law and justice. There could be +no such tremendous testimony to the power of that long continued, +absolutely-faithful, visionary love which John Tatham bore to Elinor +than that this discovery which he thought he had made did not destroy +it. He was greatly shocked, but it made no difference in his feelings. +Perhaps there was more of the brotherly character in them than he +thought. For a moment they looked at each other, and he thought he made +this discovery--while she met his eyes with that look which she did not +know was inscrutable, which she feared was full of self-betrayal. "I +believe," she said, bending her head, "that that is what he thinks." + +"If it had been me," said John Tatham, moved out of his habitual calm, +"I would rather be proved guilty of anything than owe my safety to such +an expedient as that. Drag in a woman who hates me to prove my alibi as +if she loved me! By Jove, Elinor! you women have the gift of drawing out +everything that's worst in men." + +"It seems to make you hate me, John, which I don't think I have +deserved." + +"Oh, no, I don't hate you. It's a consequence, I suppose, of use and +wont. It makes little difference to me----" + +She gave him another look which he did not understand--a wistful look, +appealing to something, he did not know what--to his ridiculous +partiality, he thought, and that stubborn domestic affection to which it +was of so little importance what she did, as long as she was Elinor; and +then she said with a woman's soft, endless pertinacity, "Then you think +I may go?" + +He sprang from his seat with that impatient despair which is equally +characteristic of the man. "Go!" he said, "when you are called upon by +law to vindicate a man's character, and that man your husband! I ought +not to be surprised at anything with my experience, but, Elinor, you +take away my breath." + +She only smiled, giving him once more that look of appeal. + +"How can you think of it?" he said. "The subpoena is enough to keep any +reasonable being, besides the other motive. You must not budge. I should +feel my own character involved, as well as yours, if after consulting me +on the subject you were guilty of an evasion after all." + +"It would not be your fault, John." + +"Elinor! you are mad--it must not be done," he cried. "Don't defy me, I +am capable of informing upon you, and having you stopped--by force--if +you do not give this idea up." + +"By force!" she said, with her nostril dilating. "I shall go, of course, +if I am threatened." + +"Then Philip must not go. Do you know what has happened in the family to +which he belongs, and must belong, whether you like it or not? Do you +know--that the boy may be Lord Lomond before the week is out? that his +uncle is dying, and that your husband is the heir?" + +She turned round upon him slowly, fixing her eyes upon his, with simple +astonishment and no more in her look. Her mind, so absorbed in other +thoughts, hardly took in what he could mean. + +"Have you not heard this, Elinor?" + +"But there is Hal," she said, "Hal--the other brother--who comes first." + +"Hal is dead, and the one in India is dead, and Lord St. Serf is dying. +The boy is the heir. You must not, you cannot, take him away. It is +impossible, Elinor, it is against all nature and justice. You have had +him for all these years; his father has a right to his heir." + +"Oh, John!" she cried, in a bitter note of reproach, "oh, John, John!" + +"Well," he cried, "is not what I tell you the truth? Would Philip give +it up if it were offered to him? He is almost a man--let him judge for +himself." + +"Oh, John, John! when you know that the object of my life has been to +keep him from knowing--to shut that chapter of my life altogether; to +bring him up apart from all evil influences, from all instructions----" + +"And from his birthright, Elinor?" + +She stopped, giving him another sudden look, the natural language +of a woman brought to bay. She drew a long breath in impatience and +desperation, not knowing what to reply; for what could she reply? His +birthright! to be Lord Lomond, Lord St. Serf, the head of the house. +What was that? Far, far better Philip Dennistoun, of Lakeside, the heir +of his mother and his grandmother, two stainless women, with enough +for everything that was honest and of good report, enough to permit +him to be an unworldly scholar, a lover of art, a traveller, any +play-profession that he chose if he did not incline to graver work. Ah! +but she had not been so wise as that, she had not brought him up as +Philip Dennistoun. He was Philip Compton, she had not been bold enough +to change his name. She stood at bay, surrounded as it were by her +enemies, and confronted John Tatham, who had been her constant companion +and defender, as if all that was hostile to her, all that was against +her peace was embodied in him. + +"I must go a little further, Elinor," said John, "though God knows that +to add to your pain is the last thing in the world I wish. You have +been left unmolested for a very long time, and we have all thought your +retreat was unknown. I confess it has surprised me, for my experience +has always been that everything is known. But you have been subpoenaed +for this trial, therefore, my dear girl, we must give up that idea. +Everybody, that is virtually everybody, all that are of any consequence, +know where you are and all you are about now." + +She sank into a chair, still keeping her eyes upon him, as if it were +possible that he might take some advantage of her if she withdrew them; +then, still not knowing what to reply, seized at the last words because +they were the last, and had little to do with the main issue. "All about +me?" she said faintly, as if there had been something else besides the +place of her refuge to conceal. + +"You know what I mean, Elinor. The moment that your home is known all is +known. That Philip lives and is well, a promising boy; that you have +brought him up to do honour to any title or any position." + +He could not help saying this, and partly in the testimony to her, +partly for love of the boy, John Tatham's voice faltered a little and +the water came into his eyes. + +"Ah, John! you say that!" she cried, as if it had been an admission +forced from him against his will. + +"What could I say otherwise? Elinor, because I don't approve of all your +proceedings, because I don't think you have been wise in one respect, is +that to say that I do not understand and know _you?_ I am not such a +fool or a formalist as you give me credit for being. You have made him +all that the fondest and proudest could desire. You have done far +better for him, I do not doubt for a moment, than---- But, my dear +cousin, my dear girl, my poor Nellie----" + +"Yes, John?" + +He paused a moment, and then he said, "Right is right, and justice is +justice at the end of all." + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVII. + + +When Elinor received the official document which had so extraordinary an +effect upon her life, and overturned in a moment all the fabric of +domestic quiet and security which she had been building up for years, it +was outside the tranquil walls of the house at Lakeside, in the garden +which lay between it and the high-road, opening upon that not very +much-frequented road by a pair of somewhat imposing gates, which gave +the little establishment an air of more pretension than it really +possessed. Some fine trees shrouded the little avenue, and Elinor was +standing under one of them, stooping over a little nest of primroses at +its roots, from which the yellow buds were peeping forth, when she heard +behind her the sound of a vehicle at the gates, and the quick leap to +the ground of someone who opened them. Then there was a pause; the +carriage, whatever it was, did not come farther, and presently she +herself, a little curious, turned round to see a man approaching her, +whom she did not know. A dog-cart driven by another, whose face she +recognized, waited in the road while the stranger came forward. "You are +Mrs. Compton, ma'am?" he said. A swift thrill of alarm, she could +scarcely tell why, ran over Elinor from head to foot. She had been +settled for nearly eighteen years at Lakeside. What could happen to +frighten her now? but it tingled to her very fingers' ends. And then he +said something to her which she scarcely understood, but which sent that +tingle to her very heart and brain, and gave her the suspicious looking +blue paper which he held in his hand. It all passed in a moment of time +to her dazed yet excited consciousness. The early primrose which she had +gathered had not had time to droop in her grasp, though she crushed the +stalk unconsciously in her fingers, before the gates were closed again, +the sound of the departing wheels growing faint on the road, and she +herself standing like one paralyzed with that thing in her hand. A +subpoena!--what was a subpoena? She knew as little, perhaps less, than +the children in the parish school, who began to troop along the road in +their resounding clogs at their dinner hour. The sound of this awoke her +a little to a frightened sense that she had better put this document out +of sight, at least until she could manage to understand it. And then she +sped swiftly away past the pretty white house lying in the sunshine, +with all its doors and windows open, to the little wood behind, where it +would be possible to think and find out at her leisure what this was. It +was a small wood and a public path ran through it; but where the public +was so limited as at Lakeside this scarcely impaired the privacy of the +inhabitants, at least in the morning, when everybody in the parish was +at work. Elinor hurried past the house that her mother might not see +her, and climbed the woody hillock to a spot which was peculiarly her +own, and where a seat had been placed for her special use. It was a +little mount of vision from which she could look out, up and down, at +the long winding line of the lake cleaving the green slopes, and away to +the rugged and solemn peaks among which lay, in his mountain fastnesses, +Helvellyn, with his hoary brethren crowding round him. Elinor had +watched the changes of many a north-country day, full of endless +vicissitudes, of flying clouds and gleams of sunshine, from that seat, +and had hoped and tried to believe that nothing, save these vicissitudes +of nature, would ever again disturb her. Had she really believed that? +Her heart thumping against her breast, and the pulses of her brain +beating loud in her ears, answered "No." She had never believed it--she +had known, notwithstanding all her obstinacy, and indignant opposition +to all who warned her, that some day or other her home must be broken +up, and the storm burst upon her. But even such a conviction, desperately +fought against and resisted, is a very different matter from the awful +sense of certainty that it has come, _now_---- + +The trees were thick enough to conceal her from any passer-by on the +path, the young half-unfolded foliage of the birches fluttered over her +head, while a solid fir or two stood, grim guardians, yet catching +pathetic airs from every passing wind to soothe her. But Elinor neither +heard nor saw lake, mountain, nor sunshine, nor spring breezes, but only +the bit of paper in her hand, and the uncomprehended words she had heard +when it was given to her. It was not long, however, before she perceived +and knew exactly what it meant. It was a subpoena in the case of "The +Queen _versus_ Brown," to attend and give evidence on a certain day in +May, in London. It was for a few minutes a mystery to her as great as it +was alarming, notwithstanding the swift and certain mental conviction +she had that it concerned infallibly the one secret and mystery of +her life. But as she sat there pondering, those strange strays of +recollection that come to the mind, of things unnoted, yet unconsciously +stored by memory, drew gradually about her, piecing out the threads of +conviction. She remembered to have heard her mother read, among the many +scraps which Mrs. Dennistoun loved to read out when the newspaper +arrived, something about a man who had absconded, whose name was Brown, +who had brought ruin on many, and had at length, after a number of +years, ventured back to England and had been caught. It was one of the +weaknesses of Mrs. Dennistoun's advancing years to like these bits +of news, though there might be little interest in them to so quiet +a household; and her daughter was wont to listen with a very vague +attention, noting but a word now and then, answering vaguely the lively +remarks her mother would make on the subjects. In this case even she had +paid no attention; and yet, the moment that strong keynote had been +struck, which vibrated through her whole being, this echo suddenly woke +up and resounded as if it had been thundered in her ears--"Brown!" She +began to remember bit by bit--and yet what had she to do with Brown? +He had not defrauded her; she had never seen him; she knew nothing +about his delinquencies. Then there came another note faintly out +of the distance of the years: her husband's image, I need not say, +had come suddenly into her sight with the first burst of this new +event. His voice seemed to be in the air saying half-forgotten things. +What had he to do with this man? Oh, she knew very well there was +something--something! which she would have given her life not to +recollect; which she knew in another moment would flash completely upon +her as she tried not to remember it. And then suddenly her working mind +caught another string which was not that; which was a relief to that for +the moment. Brown!--who was it that had talked of Brown?--and the books +that were destroyed--and the----and the----day that Phil Compton arrived +at Windyhill? + +Elinor rose up from her seat with a gasp. She put her arm round the +rough stem of the fir-tree to support herself, but it shook with her +though there was no wind, only the softest of morning airs. She saw +before her a scene very different from this--the flowery garden at the +cottage with the copse and the sandy road beyond, and the man whom Phil +had expected, whom he had been so anxious to see--and his fingers +catching hers, keeping her by him, and the questions to which she had +replied. Twenty years! What a long time it is! time enough for a boy to +grow into almost a man who had not been born or thought of--and yet what +a moment, what a nothing! Her mind flashed from that scene in the garden +to the little hall in the cottage, the maid stooping down fastening the +bolt of the door, the calendar hanging on the wall with the big 6 +showing so visible, so obtrusive, forcing itself as it were on the +notice of all. "Only ten days, Nell!" And the maid's glance upwards of +shy sympathy, and the blank of Mrs. Dennistoun's face, and his look. Oh, +that look of his! which was true and yet so false; which meant so much +besides, and yet surely, surely meant love too! + +The young fir-tree creaked and swayed in Elinor's grip. She unloosed it +as if the slim thing had cried under the pressure, and sat down again. +She had nothing to grasp at, nothing. Oh, her life had not been without +support! Her mother--how extraordinary had been her good fortune to have +her mother to fall back upon when she was shipwrecked in her life--to +have a home, a shelter, a perpetual protector and champion, who, whether +she approved or disapproved, would forsake her never. And then the boy, +God bless him! who might quiver like the little fir if she flung herself +upon him, but who, she knew, would stand as true. Oh, God forbid, God +forbid that he should ever know! Oh, God help her, God help her! how was +she to keep it from his knowledge? Elinor flung herself down upon the +mossy knoll in her despair as this came pouring into her mind a flood of +horrible light, of unimaginable bitterness. He must not know, he must +not know; and yet how was it to be kept from his knowledge? It was a +public thing; it could not be hid. It would be in all the papers, his +father's name: and the boy did not know he had a father living. And his +mother's evidence on behalf of her husband; and the boy thought she had +no husband. + +This was what had been said to her again and again and again. Sometime +the boy must know--and she had pushed it from her angrily, indignantly +asking why should he know? though in the bottom of her own heart she too +was aware that it was the delusion of a fool, and that the time must +come---- But how could she ever have thought that it would come like +this, that the boy would discover his father through the summons of his +mother to a public court to defend her husband from a criminal +accusation? Oh, life that pardons nothing! Oh, severe, unchanging +heaven!--that this should be the way! + +And then there came into Elinor's mind wild thoughts of flight. She +was not a woman whose nature it was to endure. When things became +intolerable to her she fled from them, as the reader knows; escaped, +shutting her ears to all advice and her heart to all thoughts except +that life had become intolerable, and that she could bear it no longer. +It is not easy to hold the balance even in such matters. Had Elinor +fulfilled what would appear to many her first duty, and stood by Phil +through neglect, ill-treatment, and misery, as she had vowed, for +better, for worse, she would by this time have been not only a wretched +but a deteriorated woman, and her son most probably would have been +injured both in his moral and intellectual being. What she had done was +not the abstract duty of her marriage vow, but it had been better--had +it not been better for them both? In such a question who is to be the +judge? And now again there came surging up into Elinor's veins the +impulse of flight. To take the boy and fly. She could take him where he +wished most to go, to the scenes of that literature and history of which +his schoolboy head was full, to the happiest ideal wandering, his mother +and he, two companions almost better than lovers. How his eyes would +brighten at the thought! among the summer seas, the golden islands, the +ideal countries--away from all the trouble and cares, all the burdens of +the past, all the fears of the future! Why should she be held by that +villainous paper and obey that dreadful summons? Why allow all her +precautions, all the fabric of her life to fall in a moment? Why pour +upon the boy the horror of that revelation, when everything she had done +and planned all his life had been to keep it from him? In the sudden +energy of that new possibility of escape Elinor rose up again from the +prostration of despair. She saw once more the line of shining water at +her feet full of heavenly splendour, the mountain tops sunning +themselves in the morning light, the peace and the beauty that was over +all. And there was nothing needed but a long journey, which would be +delightful, full of pleasure and refreshment, to secure her peace to +her, and to save her boy. + +When she had calmed herself with this new project, which, the moment it +took form in her mind seemed of itself, without reference to the cause, +the most delightful project in the world and full of pleasure--Elinor +smoothed back her hair, put her garden hat, which had got a little out +of order, straight, and took her way again towards the house. Her heart +had already escaped from the shock and horror and was beating softly, +exhausted yet refreshed, in her bosom. She felt almost like a child who +had sobbed all its troubles out, or like a convalescent recovering from +a brief but violent illness, and pathetically happy in the cessation of +pain. She went along quietly, slowly, by the woodland path among the +trees full of the sweetness of the morning which seemed to have come +back to her. Should she say anything about it to her mother, or only by +degrees announce to her the plan she had begun to form for Pippo's +pleasure, the long delightful ramble which would come between his +school-time and the university? She had almost decided that she would do +this when she went into the house; but she had not been half an hour +with her mother when her intention became untenable, for the good reason +that she had already told Mrs. Dennistoun of the new incident. They were +not in the habit of keeping secrets from each other, and in that case +there is nothing in the world so difficult. It requires training to keep +one's affairs to one's self in the constant presence of those who are +our nearest and dearest. Some people may be capable of this effort of +self-control, but Elinor was not. She had showed that alarming paper to +her mother with a partial return of her own terror at the sight of it +before she knew. And I need not say that for a short time Mrs. +Dennistoun was overwhelmed by that natural horror too. + +"But," she said, "what do you know, what can you tell about this Mr. +Brown, Elinor? You never saw him in your life." + +"I think I know what it means," said Elinor, with a sudden dark glow +of colour, which faded instantly, leaving her quite pale. She added +hurriedly, "There were some books destroyed. I cannot tell you the +rights of the story. It is too dreadful altogether, but--another was +exculpated by the date of the day he arrived at Windyhill. This must be +the reason I am called." + +"The date he arrived--before your marriage, Elinor? But then they might +call me, and you need not appear." + +"Not for the world, mother!" cried Elinor. The colour rose again and +faded. "Besides, you do not remember." + +"Oh, I could make it out," said Mrs. Dennistoun. "It was when he came +from Scotland, and went off in the evening next day. I don't at this +moment remember what the day was, but I could make it out. It was about +a fortnight before, it was----" + +"Do you remember, mother, the little calendar in the hall, and what it +marked, and what he said?" + +"I remember, of course, perfectly well the little calendar in the hall. +You gave it me at Christmas, and it was always out of order, and never +kept right. But I could make it out without that." + +"You must not think of it for a moment," cried Elinor, with a shudder. +There had been so many things to think of that it had scarcely occurred +to her what it was to which she had to bear witness. She told her mother +hurriedly the story of that incident, and then she added, without stopping +to take breath, "But I will not appear. I cannot appear. We must keep it +out of the papers, at every cost. Mother, do not think it dreadful of +me. I will run away with Pippo; far away, if you will not be anxious. +This is just his chance between school and college. I will take him to +Greece." + +"To Greece, Elinor?" Mrs. Dennistoun cried, with almost a shriek. + +"Mother, dear, it is not so very far away." + +"I am not thinking how far away it is, Elinor. And leave his father's +reputation to suffer? Leave him perhaps to be ruined--by a false +charge?" + +"Oh, mother," cried Elinor, starting to her feet. She was quite +unprepared for such remonstrance. + +"My dear, I have not opposed you; though there have been many things I +have scarcely approved of. But, Elinor, this must not be. Run away from +the law? Allow another to suffer when you can clear him? Elinor, Elinor, +this must not be--unless I can go and be his witness in your place. I +might do that," said Mrs. Dennistoun, seriously. She paused a moment, +and then she said, "But I think you are wrong about the sixth. He stayed +only one night, and the night he went away was the night that Alick +Hudson--who was going up for his examination. I can make it out exactly, +if you will give me a little time to think it over. My poor child! that +you should have this to disturb your peace. But I will go, Elinor. I can +clear him as well as you." + +Elinor stood up before her, pallid as a ghost. "For God's sake, mother, +not another word," she said, with a dreadful solemnity. "The burden is +mine, and I must bear it. Let us not say a word more." + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVIII. + + +I will not confuse the reader with a description of all Elinor's +thoughts during the slow progress of that afternoon and evening, which +were as the slow passing of a year to her impatient spirit. She +took the usual afternoon walk with her mother soberly, as became Mrs. +Dennistoun's increasing years, and then she made a pretext of some +errands in the village to occupy her until dark, or rather to leave +her free to twist the thread of her own thoughts as she went along the +silent country road. Her thoughts varied in the afternoon from those +which had seized upon her with such vulture's claws in the morning; but +they were not less overwhelming in that respect. Her mother's suggestion +that _she_ and not Elinor should be the witness of that date, and then +her ponderings as to that date, her slow certainty that she could make +it out, or puzzle it out, as Elinor in her impatience said, which was +the last of all things to be desired--had stung the daughter into a new +and miserable realization of what it was that was demanded of her, which +nobody could do but she. What was it that would be demanded of her? To +stand up in the face of God and man and swear to tell the truth, and +tell--a lie: or else let the man who had been her husband, the love of +her youth, the father of her boy, sink into an abyss of shame. She +thought rapidly, knowing nothing, that surely there could be no +punishment for him, even if it were proved, at the long interval of +twenty years. But, shame--there would be shame. Nothing could save him +from that. Shame which would descend more or less to his son. And then +Elinor reflected, with hot moisture coming out upon her forehead against +the cold breeze of the spring night, on what would be asked of her. +Oh, no doubt, it would be cleverly done! She would be asked if she +remembered his visit, and why she remembered it. She would be led on +carefully to tell the story of the calendar in the hall, and of how it +was but ten days before her marriage--the last hurried, unexpected visit +of the lover before he came as a bridegroom to take her away. It would +be all true, every word, and yet it would be a lie. And standing up +there in that public place, she would be made to repeat it, as she had +done in the flowery garden, in the sunshine, twenty years ago--then +dazed and bewildered, not knowing what she did, and with something of +the blind confidence of youth and love in saying what she was told to +say; but now with clearer insight, with a horrible certainty of the +falsehood of that true story, and the object with which it was required +of her. Happily for herself, Elinor did not think of the ordeal of +cross-examination through which witnesses have to pass. She would not, +I think, have feared that if the instinct of combativeness had been +roused in her: her quick wit and ready spirit would not have failed in +defending herself, and in maintaining the accuracy of the fact to which +she had to bear witness. It was herself, and not an opposing counsel, +that was alarming to Elinor. But I have promised that the reader should +not be compelled to go through all the trouble and torment of her +thoughts. + +Dinner, with the respect which is necessary for the servant who waits, +whether that may be a solemn butler with his myrmidons, or a little +maid--always makes a pause in household communications; but when the +ladies were established afterwards by the pleasant fireside which had +been their centre of life for so many years, and with the cheerful lamp +on the table between them which had lighted so many cheerful talks, +readings, discussions, and consultations, the new subject of anxiety and +interest immediately came forth again. It was Mrs. Dennistoun who spoke +first. She had grown older, as we all do; she wore spectacles as she +worked, and often a white shawl on her shoulders, and was--as sometimes +her daughter felt, with shame of herself to remark it--a little slower +in speech, a little more pertinacious and insistent, not perhaps +perceiving with such quick sympathy the changes and fluctuations of +other minds, and whether it was advisable or not to follow a subject to +the bitter end. She said, looking up from her knitting, with a little +rhetorical movement of her hand which Elinor feared, and which showed +that she felt herself on assured and certain ground: + +"My dear, I have been thinking. I have made it out day by day. God knows +there were plenty of landmarks in it to keep any one from forgetting. I +can now make out certainly the day--of which we were speaking; and if +you will give me your attention for a minute or two, Elinor, you will +see that whatever the calendar said--which I never noticed, for it was +as often wrong as right--you are making a mis----" + +"Oh, for Heaven's sake, mother," cried Elinor, "don't let us talk of +that any more!" + +"I have no desire to talk of it, my dear child; but for what you said +I should never---- But of course we must take some action about this +thing--this paper you have got. And it seems to me that the best thing +would be to write to John, and see whether he could not manage to get it +transferred from you to me. I can't see what difficulty there could be +about that." + +"I would not have it for the world, mother! And what good would it do? +The great thing in it, the dreadful thing, would be unchanged. Whether +you appear or me, Pippo would be made to know, all the same, what it has +been our joint object to conceal from him all his life." + +Mrs. Dennistoun did not say anything, but she would not have been mortal +if she had not, very slightly, but yet very visibly to keen eyes, shaken +her head. + +"I know what you mean," said Elinor, vehemently, "that it has been I, +and not we, whose object has been to conceal it from him. Oh, yes, I +know you are right; but at least you consented to it, you have helped in +it, it is your doing as well as mine." + +"Elinor, Elinor!" cried her mother, who, having always protested, was +not prepared for this accusation. + +"Is there any advantage to be got," said Elinor, like an injured and +indignant champion of the right, "in opening up the whole question over +again now?" + +What could poor Mrs. Dennistoun do? She was confounded, as she often had +been before, by those swift and sudden tactics. She gave a glance up at +her daughter over her spectacles, but she said nothing. Argument, she +knew by long experience, was difficult to keep up with such an opponent. + +"But John is an idea," said Elinor. "I don't know why I should not have +thought of him. He may suggest something that could be done." + +"I thought of him, of course, at once," said Mrs. Dennistoun, not able +to refrain from that small piece of self-assertion. "It is not a time +that it would be easy for him to leave town; but at least you could +write and lay your difficulties before him, and suggest----" + +"Oh, you may be sure, mother," cried Elinor, "I know what I have to +say." + +"I never doubted it, my dear," said Mrs. Dennistoun, gently. + +And then there was a little pause. They sat and worked, the elder lady +stumbling a little over her knitting, her thoughts being so much engaged; +the younger one plying a flying needle, the passion and impetus of her +thoughts lending only additional swiftness and vigour to everything she +did. And for ten minutes or more there was nothing to be heard in the +room but the little drop of ashes from the fire, the sudden burst of a +little gas-flame from the coals, the rustle of Elinor's arm as it moved. +The cat sat with her tail curled round her before the fire, the image of +dignified repose, winking at the flames. The two human inhabitants, save +for the movements of their hands, might have been in wax, they were so +still. Suddenly, however, the quietness was broken by an energetic +movement. Elinor threw her work down on the table and rose from her +chair. She went to the window and drew the curtain aside, and looked +out upon the night. She shut it carefully again, and going to the +writing-table, struck a match and lighted the candles there, and sat +down and began, or appeared to begin, to write. Then she rose quickly +again and returned to the table at which Mrs. Dennistoun was still +seated, knitting on, but watching every movement of her restless +companion. "Mother," she said, "I can't write, I have far too much to +say. I will run up to town to-morrow myself and see John." + +"To town, Elinor, by yourself? My dear, you forget it is not an hour's +journey, as it was to Windyhill." + +"I know that very well, mother. But even the journey will be an +advantage. The movement will do me good, and I can tell John much better +than I could write. Who could write about a complicated business like +this? He will understand me when he sees me at half a word; whereas in +writing one can never explain. Don't oppose me, please, mother! I feel +that to do something, to get myself in motion, is the only thing for me +now." + +"I will not oppose you, Elinor. I have done so, perhaps, too little, my +dear; but we will not speak of that. No doubt, as you say, you will +understand each other better if you tell him the circumstances face to +face. But, oh, my dear child, do nothing rash! Be guided by John; he is +a prudent adviser. The only thing is that he, no more than I, has ever +been able to resist you, Elinor, if you had set your heart upon any +course. Oh, my dear, don't go to John with a foregone conclusion. Hear +first what he has to say!" + +Elinor came behind her mother with one of those quick returns of +affectionate impulse which were natural to her, and put her arms +suddenly round Mrs. Dennistoun. "You have always been far too good to +me, mamma," she said, kissing her tenderly, "both John and you." + +And next morning she carried out her swiftly conceived intention and +went to town, as the reader is aware. A long railway journey is +sometimes soothing to one distracted with agitation and trouble. The +quiet and the noise, which serves as a kind of accompaniment, half +silencing, half promoting too active thought; the forced abstraction +and silence, and semi-imprisonment of mind and body, which are equally +restless, but which in that enclosure are bound to self-restraint, +exercise, in spite of all struggles of the subject, a subduing effect. +And it was a strange thing that in the seclusion of the railway +compartment in which she travelled alone there came for the first time +to Elinor a softening thought, the sudden sensation of a feeling, of +which she had not been sensible for years, towards the man whose name +she bore. It occurred to her quite suddenly, she could not tell how, as +if some one invisible had thrown that reflection into her mind (and I +confess that I am of opinion they do: those who are around us, who are +unseen, darting into our souls thoughts which do not originate with us, +thoughts not always of good, blasphemies as well as blessings)--it +occurred to her, I say, coming into her mind like an arrow, that after +all she had not been so well hidden as she thought all these years, +seeing that she had been found at once without difficulty, it appeared, +when she was wanted. Did this mean that he had known where she was all +the time--known, but never made any attempt to disturb her quiet? The +thought startled her very much, revealing to her a momentary glimpse of +something that looked like magnanimity, like consideration and generous +self-restraint. Could these things be? He could have hurt her very much +had he pleased, even during the time she had remained at Windyhill, when +certainly he knew where she was: and he had not done so. He might have +taken her child from her: at least he might have made her life miserable +with fears of losing her child: and he had not done so. If indeed it was +true that he had known where she was all the time and had never done +anything to disturb her, what did that mean? This thought gave Elinor +perhaps the first sense of self-reproach and guilt that she had ever +known towards this man, who was her husband, yet whom she had not seen +for more than eighteen years. + +And then there was another thing. After that interval he was not afraid +to put himself into her hands--to trust to her loyalty for his +salvation. He knew that she could betray him--and he knew equally well +that she would not do so, notwithstanding the eighteen years of +estrangement and mutual wrong that lay between. It did not matter that +the loyalty he felt sure of would be a false loyalty, an upholding of +what was not true. He would think little of that, as likely as not he +had forgotten all about that. He would know that her testimony would +clear him, and he would not think of anything else; and even did he +think of it the fact of a woman making a little mis-statement like that +would never have affected Philip. But the strange thing was that he had +no fear she would revenge herself by standing up against him--no doubt +of her response to his appeal; he was as ready to put his fate in her +hands as if she had been the most devoted of wives--his constant +companion and champion. This had the most curious effect upon her mind, +almost greater than the other. She had shown no faith in him, but he had +faith in her. Reckless and guilty as he was, he had not doubted her. He +had put it in her power to convict him not only of the worst accusation +that was brought against him, but of a monstrous trick to prove his +_alibi_, and a cruel wrong to her compelling her to uphold that as true. +She was able to expose him, if she chose, as no one else could do; but +he had not been afraid of that. This second thought, which burst upon +Elinor without any volition of her own, had the most curious effect +upon her. She abstained carefully, anxiously, from allowing herself +to be drawn into making any conclusion from these darts of unintended +thoughts. But they moved her in spite of herself. They made her think of +him, which she had for a long time abstained from doing. She had shut +her heart for years from any recollection of her husband, trying to +ignore his existence in thought as well as in fact. And she had +succeeded for a long time in doing this. But now in a moment all her +precautions were thrown to the winds. He came into her memory with a +sudden rush for which she was no way responsible, breaking all the +barriers she had put up against him: that he should have known where she +was all this time, and never disturbed her, respected her solitude all +these years--that when the moment of need came he should, without a word +to conciliate her, without an explanation or an apology, have put his +fate into her hands---- To the reader who understands I need not say +more of the effect upon the mind of Elinor, hasty, generous, impatient +as she was of these two strange facts. There are many in the world who +would have given quite a different explanation--who would have made out +of the fact that he had not disturbed her only the explanation that +Phil Compton was tired of his wife and glad to get rid of her at any +price: and who would have seen in his appeal to her now only audacity +combined with the conviction that she would not compromise herself by +saying anything more than she could help about him. I need not say which +of these interpretations would have been the true one. But the first +will understand and not the other what it was that for the first time +for eighteen years awakened a struggle and controversy which she could +not ignore, and vainly endeavoured to overcome, in Elinor's heart. + + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIX. + + +Elinor had not been three days gone, indeed her mother had but just +received a hurried note announcing her arrival in London, when as she +sat alone in the house which had become so silent, Mrs. Dennistoun +suddenly became aware of a rising of sound of the most jubilant, almost +riotous description. It began by the barking of Yarrow, the old colley, +who was fond of lying at the gate watching in a philosophic way of his +own the mild traffic of the country road, the children trooping by to +school, who hung about him in clusters, with lavish offerings of crust +and scraps of biscuit, and all the leisurely country _flâneurs_ whom the +good dog despised, not thinking that he himself did nothing but _flâner_ +at his own door in the sun. A bark from Yarrow was no small thing in +the stillness of the spring afternoon, and little Urisk, the terrier, +who lay wrapt in dreams at Mrs. Dennistoun's feet, heard where he lay +entranced in the folds of sleep and cocked up an eager ear and uttered a +subdued interrogation under his breath. The next thing was no bark, but +a shriek of joy from Yarrow, such as could mean nothing in the world but +"Philip!" or Pippo, which was what no doubt the dogs called him between +following their mistress. Urisk heard and understood. He made but one +spring from the footstool on which he lay and flung himself against the +door. Mrs. Dennistoun sat for a moment and listened, much disturbed. +When some troublous incident occurs in the deep quiet of domestic life +how often is it followed by another, and her heart turned a little sick. +She was not comforted even by the fact that Urisk was waggling not his +tail only, but his whole little form in convulsions of joy, barking, +crying aloud for the door to open, to let him forth. By this time all +the friendly dogs about had taken up the sound out of sympathy with +Yarrow's yells of delight--and into this came the clang of the gate, +the sound of wheels, an outcry in a human voice, that of Barbara, the +maid--and then a young shout that rang through the air--"Where's my +mother, Barbara, where's granny?" Philip, it may be imagined, did not +wait for any answer, but came in headlong. Yarrow leaping after him, +Urisk springing into the air to meet him--himself in too great a hurry +to heed either, flinging himself upon the astonished lady who rose to +meet him, with a sudden kiss, and a "Where's my mother, granny?" of +eager greeting. + +"Pippo! Good gracious, boy, what's brought you home now?" + +"Nothing but good news," he said, "so good I thought I must come. I've +got it, granny: where _is_ my mother----" + +"You've got it?" she said, so full of other thoughts that she could not +recollect what it was he meant. Pippo thought, as Elinor sometimes +thought, that his granny was getting slow of understanding--not so +bright as she used to be in her mind. + +"Oh, granny, you've been dozing: the scholarship! I've got it--I thought +you would know the moment you heard me at the door----" + +"My dear boy," she said, putting her arms about him, while the tall boy +stood for the homage done to him--the kiss of congratulation. "You have +got the scholarship! notwithstanding Howard and Musgrave and the hard +fight there was to be----" + +Pippo nodded, with a bright face of pleasure. "But," he said--"I can't +say I'm sorry I've got it, granny--but I wish there had been another for +Musgrave: for he worked harder than I did, and he wanted so to win. But +so did I, for that matter. And where is my mother all this time?" + +"How delighted she will be: and what a comfort to her just now when she +is upset and troubled! My dear, it'll be a dreadful disappointment to +you: your mother is in London. She had to hurry off the day before +yesterday--on business." + +"In London!" cried Pippo. His countenance fell: he was so much +disappointed that for a moment, big boy as he was, he looked ready to +cry. He had come in bursting with his news, expecting a reception almost +as tumultuous as that given him by the dogs outside. And he found only +his grandmother, who forgot what it was he was "in for"--and no mother +at all! + +"It is a disappointment, Pippo--and it will be such a disappointment to +her not to hear it from your own lips: but you must telegraph at once, +and that will be next best. She has some worrying business--things that +she hates to look after--and this will give her a little heart." + +"What a bore!" said Pippo, with his crest down and the light gone out of +him. He gave himself up to the dogs who had been jumping about him, +biding their time. "Yarrow knew," he said, laughing, to get the water +out of his eyes. "He gave me a cheer whenever he saw me, dear old +fellow--and little Risky too----" + +"And only granny forgot," said Mrs. Dennistoun; "that was very hard upon +you, Pippo; my thoughts were all with your mother. And I couldn't think +how you could get back at this time----" + +"Well," said the boy, "my work's over, you know. There's nothing for a +fellow to do after he's got the scholarship. I needn't go back at +all--unless you and my mother wish it. I've--in a sort of a way, done +everything that I can do. Don't laugh at me, granny!" + +"Laugh at you, my boy! It is likely I should laugh at you. Don't you +know I am as proud of you as your mother herself can be? I am glad and +proud," said Mrs. Dennistoun, "for I am glad for her as well as for you. +Now, Pippo, you want something to eat." + +The boy looked up with a laugh. "Yes, granny," he said, "you always +divine that sort of thing. I do." + +Mrs. Dennistoun did not occupy her mind with any thought of that little +unintentional and grateful jibe--that she always divined that sort of +thing. Among the other great patiences of her life she had learnt to +know that the mother and son, loving and tender as they were, had put +her back unconsciously into the proper place of the old woman--always +consulted, always thought of, never left out; but divining chiefly _that +sort of thing_, the actual needs, the more apparent thoughts of those +about her. She knew it, but she did not dwell upon it--sometimes it +made her smile, but it scarcely hurt her, and never made her bitter, +she comprehended it all so well. Meanwhile Pippo, left alone, devoted +himself to the dogs for a minute or two, making them almost too happy. +Then, at the very climax of riotous enjoyment, cast them off with a +sudden, "Down, Yarrow!" which took all the curl in a moment out of the +noble tail with which Yarrow was sweeping all the unconsidered trifles +off Mrs. Dennistoun's work-table. The young autocrat walked to the +window as he shook off his adoring vassal, and stared out for a little +with his hands deeply dug into his pockets. And then a new idea came +into Pippo's head; the most brilliant new idea, which restored at once +the light to his eyes and elevation to his crest. He said nothing of +this, however, till he had done justice to the excellent luncheon, while +his grandmother, seated beside him in the dining-room with her knitting, +looked on with pride and pleasure and saw him eat. This was a thing, +they were all of accord, which she always thoroughly understood. + +"You will run out now and telegraph to your mother. She is in the old +rooms in Ebury Street, Pippo." + +"Yes, granny; don't you think now a fellow of my age, having done pretty +well and all that, might be trusted to--make a little expedition out of +his own head?" + +"My dear! you have always been trusted, Pippo, you know. I can't +remember when your mother or I either have shown any want of trust----" + +"Oh, it's not that," said Pippo, confused. "I know I've had lots, +lots--far more than most fellows--of my own way. It was not that +exactly. I meant without consulting any one, just to do a thing out of +my own head." + +"I have no doubt it will be quite a right thing, Pippo; but I should +know better if you were to tell me." + +"That would scarcely be doing it out of my own head, would it, granny? +But I can't keep a thing to myself; now Musgrave can, you know; that's +the great difference. I suppose it is having nobody but my mother and +you, who always spoil me, that has made me that I can't keep a secret." + +"It is something about making it up to Musgrave for not winning the +scholarship?" + +Philip grew red all over with a burning blush of shame. "What a beast I +am!" he said. "You will scarcely believe me, but I had forgotten +that--though I do wish I could. I do wish there was any way----No, +granny, it was all about myself." + +"Well, my dear?" she said, in her benignant, all-indulgent grandmother's +voice. + +"It is no use going beating about the bush," he said. "Granny, I'm not +going to telegraph to mamma. I'll run up to London by the night mail." + +"Pippo!" + +"Well, it isn't so extraordinary; naturally I should like to tell her +better than to write. It didn't quite come off, my telling it to you, +did it? but my mother will be excited about it--and then it will be a +surprise seeing me at all--and then if she is worried by business it +will be a good thing to have me to stand by her. And--why there are a +hundred reasons, granny, as you must see. And then I should like it +above all." + +"My dear," said Mrs. Dennistoun, trembling a little. She had time during +this long speech to collect herself, to get over the first shock, but +her nerves still vibrated. "In ordinary circumstances, I should think it +an excellent plan. And you have worked well for it, and won your +holiday; and your mother always enjoys wandering about town with you. +Still, Pippo----" + +"Now what can there be against it?" the boy said, with the same spark of +fire coming into his blue eyes which had often been seen in Elinor's +hazel ones. He was like the Comptons, a refined image of his father, +with the blue eyes and very dark hair which had once made Phil Compton +irresistible. Pippo had the habit, I am sorry to say, of being a little +impatient with his grandmother. Her objections seemed old-world and +obsolete at the first glance. + +"The chief thing against it is that I don't think your mother--would +wish it, Pippo." + +"Mamma--think me a bore, perhaps!" the lad cried, with a laugh of almost +scornful amusement at this ridiculous idea. + +"She would never, of course, think you a bore in any circumstances--but +she will be very much confined--she could not take you with her +to--lawyers' offices. She will scarcely have any time to herself." + +"What is this mysterious business, granny?" + +"Indeed, Pippo, I can scarcely tell you. It is something connected with +old times--that she wishes to have settled and done with. I did not +inquire very closely; neither, I think, should you. You know your poor +mother has had troubles in her life----" + +"Has she?" said Pippo, with wide open eyes. "I have never seen any. I +think, perhaps, don't you know, granny, ladies--make mountains of +molehills--or so at least people say----" + +"Do they?" said Mrs. Dennistoun, with a laugh. "So you have begun to +learn that sort of thing already, Pippo, even here at the end of the +world!" + +Pippo was a little mortified by her laugh, and a little ashamed of what +he had said. It is very tempting at eighteen to put on a man's +superiority, yet he was conscious that it was perhaps a little +ungenerous, he who owed all that he was and had to these two ladies; but +naturally he was the more angry because of this. + +"I suppose," he said, "that what is in every book that ever was written +is likely to be true! But that has nothing to do with the question. I +won't do anything against you if you forbid me absolutely, granny; but +short of that I will go----" + +Mrs. Dennistoun looked at the boy with all the heat in him of his first +burst of independence. It is only wise to compute the forces opposed to +one before one launches a command which one may not have force to ensure +obedience to. He said that he would not disobey her "absolutely" with +his lips; but his eyes expressed a less dutiful sentiment. She had no +mind to be beaten in such a struggle. Elinor had complained of her +mother in her youth that she was too reasonable, too unwilling to +command, too reluctant to assume the responsibility of an act; and it +was not to be supposed that she had mended of this, in all the experience +she had had of her impatient daughter, and under the influence of so +many additional years. She looked at Philip, and concluded that he would +at least find some way of eluding her authority if she exercised it, and +it did not consist with her dignity to be either "absolutely" or +partially disobeyed. + +"You forget," she said, "that I have never taken such authority upon me +since you were a child. I will not forbid you to do what you have set +your heart upon. I can only say, Philip, that I don't think your mother +would wish you to go----" + +"If that's all, granny," said the boy, "I think I can take my mother +into my own hands. But why do you call me Philip? You never call me that +but when you are angry." + +"Was I ever angry?" she said, with a smile; "but if we are to consider +you a man, looking down upon women, and taking your movements upon your +own responsibility, my dear, it would be ridiculous that you should be +little Pippo any more." + +"Not little Pippo," he said, with a boyish, complacent laugh, rising up +to his full height. A young man nearly six feet high, with a scholarship +in his pocket, how is he to be expected to take the law from his old +grandmother as to what he is to do? + +And young Philip did go to town triumphantly by the night mail. He had +never done such a thing before, and his sense of manly independence, of +daring, almost of adventure, was more delightful than words could say. +There was not even any one, except the man who had driven him into +Penrith, to see him away, he who was generally accompanied to the last +minute by precautions, and admonitions, and farewells. To feel himself +dart away into the night with nobody to look back to on the platform, +no gaze, half smiling, half tearful, to follow him, was of itself an +emancipation to Pippo. He was a good boy and no rebel against the double +maternal bond which had lain so lightly yet so closely upon him all his +life. It was only for a year or two that he had suspected that this was +unusual, or even imagined that for a growing man the sway of two ladies, +and even their devotion, might make others smile. Perhaps he had been a +little more particular in his notions, in his manners, in his fastidious +dislike to dirt and careless habits, than was common in the somewhat +rough north country school which had so risen in scholastic note under +the last head master, but which was very far from the refinements of +Eton. And lately it had begun to dawn upon him that a mother and a +grandmother to watch over him and care for him in everything might be +perhaps a little absurd for a young man of his advanced age. Thus his +escapade, which was against the will of his elder guardian, and without +the knowledge of his mother--which was entirely his own act, and on +his own responsibility, went to Philip's head, and gave him a sort of +intoxication of pleasure. That his mother should be displeased, really +displeased, should not want him--incredible thought! never entered into +his mind save as an accountable delusion of granny's. His mother not +want him! All the arguments in the world would never have got that into +young Pippo's head. + +Mrs. Dennistoun waking up in the middle of the night to think of the boy +rushing on through the dark on his adventurous way, recollected only +then with much confusion and pain that she ought to have telegraphed to +Elinor, who might be so engaged as to make it very embarrassing for her +in her strange circumstances to see Pippo--that the boy was coming. In +her agitation she had forgotten this precaution. Was it perhaps true, as +the young ones thought, that she was getting a little slower in her +movements, a little dulled in her thoughts? + + + + +CHAPTER XL. + + +John Tatham had in vain attempted to persuade Elinor to come to his +house, to dine there in comfort--he was going out himself--so that +at least in this time of excitement and trouble she might have the +careful service and admirable comfort of his well-managed house. Elinor +preferred her favourite lodgings and a cup of tea to all the luxuries of +Halkin Street. And she was fit for no more consultations that night. She +had many, many things to think of, and some new which as yet she barely +comprehended. The rooms in Ebury Street were small, and they were more +or less dingy, as such rooms are; but they were comfortable enough, and +had as much of home to Elinor as repeated visits there with all her +belongings could give them. The room in which she slept was next to +that in which her boy had usually slept. That was enough to make it +no strange place. And I need not say that it became the scene of many +discussions during the few days that followed. The papers by this time +were full of the strange trial which was coming on: the romance of +commercial life and ruin--the guilty man who had been absent so long, +enjoying his ill-gotten gains, and who now was dragged back into the +light to give an account of himself--and of other guilt perhaps less +black than his own, yet dreadful enough to hear of. The story of the +destroyed books was a most remarkable and picturesque incident in the +narrative. The leading papers looked up their own account of the facts +given at the time, and pointed out how evidently justified by the new +facts made known to the public was the theory they had themselves given +forth. As these theories, however, were very different, and as all +claimed to be right, perhaps the conclusion was less certain than +this announcement gave warrant to believe. But each and all promised +"revelations" of the most surprising kind--involving some of the highest +aristocracy, the democratic papers said--bringing to light an exciting +story of the private relations between husband and wife, said those of +society, and revealing a piquant chapter of social history hushed up at +the time. It was a modest print indeed that contented itself with the +statement that its readers would find a romance of real life involved in +the trial which was about to take place. Elinor did not, fortunately, +see all these comments. The _Times_ and the _Morning Post_ were +dignified and reticent, and she did not read, and was indeed scarcely +cognisant of the existence of most of the others. But the faintest +reference to the trial was enough, it need hardly be said, to make the +blood boil in her veins. + +It was a curious thing in her state of mind, and with the feelings she +had towards her husband's family, that one of the first things she did +on establishing herself in her Ebury Street rooms, was to look for an +old "Peerage" which had lain for several years she remembered on a +certain shelf. Genteel lodgings in Ebury Street which did not possess +somewhere an old "Peerage" would be out of the world indeed. She found +it in the same corner as of old, where she had noted it so often and +avoided it as if it had been a serpent; but now the first thing she did, +as soon as her tray was brought her, and all necessary explanations +given, and the door shut, was to take the book furtively from its place, +almost as if she were afraid of what she should see. What a list there +was of sons of Lord St. Serf! some she had never known, who died young: +and Reginald in India, and Hal, who was so kind--what a good laugh +he had, she remembered, not a joyless cackle like Mariamne's, a good +natural laugh, and a kind light in his eyes: and he had been kind. She +could remember ever so many things, nothings, things that made a little +difference in the dull, dull cloudy sky of a neglected wife. Poor Hal! +and he too was gone, and St. Serf dying, and---- Pippo the heir!--Pippo +was perhaps, for any thing she knew, Lord Lomond now. + +To say that this did not startle Elinor, did not make her heart beat, +did not open new complications and vistas in life, would be a thing +impossible. Pippo Lord Lomond! Pippo, whom she had feared to expose to +his father's influence, whom she had kept apart, who did not know +anything about himself except that he was her son--had she kept and +guarded the boy thus in the very obscurity of life, in the stillest +and most protected circumstances, only to plunge him suddenly at last, +without preparation, without warning, into the fiery furnace of +temptation, into a region where he might pardonably (perhaps) put +himself beyond her influence, beyond her guidance? Poor Elinor! and yet +she was not wholly to be pitied either. For her heart was fired by the +thought of her boy's elevation in spite of herself. It did not occur to +her that such an elevation for him meant something also for her. That +view of the case she did not take into consideration for a moment. Nay, +she did not think of it. But that Pippo should be Lord Lomond went +through her like an arrow--like an arrow that gave a wound, acute and +sharp, yet no pain, if such a thing could be said. That he should +discover his father had been the danger before her all his life, but if +he must find out that he had a father that was a way in which it might +not be all pain. I do not pretend that she was very clear in all these +thoughts. Indeed, she was not clear at all. John Tatham, knowing but one +side, had begun to think vaguely of Elinor what Elinor thought of her +mother, that her mind was not quite as of old, not so bright nor so +vivid, not so clear in coming to a conclusion; had he known everything +he might not have been so sure even on that point. But then had he known +everything that Elinor knew, and been aware of what it was which Elinor +had been summoned by all the force of old fidelity and the honour of +her name to do, John would have been too much horrified to have been +able to form an opinion. No, poor Elinor was not at all clear in her +thoughts--less clear than ever after these revelations--the way before +her seemed dark in whatever way she looked at it, complications were +round her on every side. She had instinctively, without a word said, +given up that idea of flight. Who was it that said the heir to a peerage +could not be hid? John had said it, she remembered, and John was always +right. If she was to take him away to the uttermost end of the earth, +they would seek him out and find him. And then there was--his father, +who had known all the time, had known and never disturbed her----No +wonder that poor Elinor's thoughts were mixed and complicated. She +walked up and down the room, not thinking, but letting crowds and +flights of thoughts like birds fly through her mind; no longer clear +indeed as she had been wont to be, no longer coming to sudden, sharp +conclusions, admitting possibilities of which Elinor once upon a time +would never have thought. + +And day by day as he saw her, John Tatham understood her less and less. +He did not know what she meant, what she was going to do, what were her +sentiments towards her husband, what were her intentions towards her +son. He had found out a great deal about the case, merely as a case, and +it began to be clear to him where Elinor's part came in. Elinor Compton +could not have appeared on her husband's behalf, and whether there might +not arise a question whether, being now his wife, her evidence could be +taken on what had happened before she was his wife, was by no means +sure--"Why didn't they call your mother?" John said, as Mrs. Dennistoun +also had said--but he did not at all understand, how could he? the dismay +that came over Elinor, and the "Not for the world," which came from her +lips. He had come in to see her in the morning as he went down to his +chambers, on the very morning when Pippo, quite unexpected and also not +at all desired, was arriving at Euston Square. + +"It would have been much better," he said, "in every way if they had +called your mother--who of course must know exactly what you know, +Elinor, in respect to this matter----" + +"No," said Elinor with dry lips. "She knows nothing. She--calculates +back by little incidents--she does not remember: I--do----" + +"That's natural, I suppose," said John, with an impatient sigh and a +half-angry look. "Still--my aunt----" + +"Would do no good at all: you may believe me, John. Don't let us speak +of this any more. I know what has to be done: my mother would twist +herself up among her calculations--about Alick Hudson's examination and +I know not what. Whereas I--there is nothing, nothing more to be said. I +thought I could escape, and it is your doing if I now see that I cannot +escape. I can but hope that Providence will protect my boy. He is at +school, where they have little time for reading the papers. He may never +even see--or at least if he does he may think it is another +Compton--some one whom he never heard of----" + +"And how if he becomes Lord Lomond, as I said, before the secret is +out?" + +"Oh, John," cried Elinor, wringing her hands--"don't, don't torment me +with that idea now--let only this be past and then: Oh, I see, I see--I +am not a fool--I perceive that I cannot hide him as you say if that +happens. But oh, John, for pity's sake let this be over first! Let us +not hurry everything on at the same time. He is at school. What do +schoolboys care for the newspapers, especially for trials in the law +courts? Oh, let this be over first! A boy at school--and he need never +know----" + +It was at this moment that a hansom drew up, and a rattling peal came at +the door. Hansoms are not rare in Ebury Street, and how can one tell in +these small houses if the peal is at one's door or the next? Elinor +was not disturbed. She paid no attention. She expected no one, she was +afraid of nothing new for the present. Surely, surely, as she said, +there was enough for the present. It did not seem possible that any new +incident should come now. + +"I do not want to torment you, Elinor--you may imagine I would be the +last--I would only save you if I could from what must be---- What! what? +who's this?--PHILIP! the boy!" + +The door had burst open with an eager, impatient hand upon it, and there +stood upon the threshold, in all the mingled excitement and fatigue of +his night journey, pale, sleep in his eyes, yet happy expectation, +exultation, the certainty of open arms to receive him, and cries of +delight--the boy. He stood for a second looking into the strange yet +familiar room. John Tatham had sprung to his feet and stood startled, +hesitating, while young Philip's eyes, noting him with a glance, flashed +past him to the other more important, more beloved, the mother whom he +had expected to rush towards him with an outcry of joy. + +And Elinor sat still in her chair, struck dumb, grown pale like a ghost, +her eyes wide open, her lips apart. The sight of the boy, her beloved +child, her pride and delight, was as a horrible spectacle to Elinor. She +stared at him like one horrified, and neither moved nor spoke. + +"Elinor!" cried John, terrified, "there's nothing wrong. Don't you see +it's Philip? Boy, what do you mean by giving her such a fright? She's +fainting, I believe." + +"I--give her a fright!" cried, half in anguish, half in indignation, the +astonished boy. + +"No, I'm not fainting. Pippo! there's nothing wrong--at home?" Elinor +cried, holding out her hand to him--coming to herself, which meant only +awakening to the horror of a danger far more present than she had ever +dreamt, and to the sudden sight not of her boy, but of that Nemesis +which she had so carefully prepared for herself, and which had been +awaiting her for years. She was not afraid of anything wrong at home. +It was the first shield she could find in the shock which had almost +paralysed her, to conceal her terror and distress at the sight of him +from the astonished, disappointed, mortified, and angry boy. + +"I thought," he said, "you would have been glad to see me, mother! No, +there's nothing wrong at home." + +"Thank heaven for that!" cried Elinor, feeling herself more and more a +hypocrite as she recovered from the shock. "Pippo, I was saying this +moment that you were at school. The words were scarcely off my lips--and +then to see you in a moment, standing there." + +"I thought," he repeated again, trembling with the disappointment and +mortification, wounded in his cheerful, confident affection, and in his +young pride, the monarch of all he surveyed--"I thought you would have +been pleased to see me, mother!" + +"Of course," said John, cheerfully, "your mother is glad to see you: and +so am I, you impetuous boy, though you don't take the trouble of shaking +hands with me. He wants to be kissed and coddled, Elinor, and I must be +off to my chambers. But I should like to know first what's up, boy? +You've got something to say." + +"Pippo, what is it, my dearest? You did give me a great fright, and I am +still nervous a little. Tell me, Pippo; something has brought you--your +uncle John is right. I can see it in your eyes. You've got something to +tell me!" + +The tired and excited boy looked from one to another, two faces both +full of a veiled but intense anxiety, looking at him as if what they +expected was no good news. He burst out into a big, hoarse laugh, the +only way to keep himself from crying. "You don't even seem to remember +anything about it," he cried, flinging himself down in the nearest +chair; "and for my part I don't care any longer whether any one knows or +not." + +And Elinor, whose thoughts were on such different things--whose whole +mind was absorbed in the question of what he could have heard about +the trial, about his father, about the new and strange future before +him--gazed at him with eyes that seemed hollowed out all round with +devouring anxiety. "What is it?" she said, "what is it? For God's sake +tell me! What have you heard?" + +It goes against all prejudices to imagine that John Tatham, a man who +never had had a child, an old bachelor not too tolerant of youth, should +have divined the boy better than his mother. But he did, perhaps because +he was a lawyer, and accustomed to investigate the human countenance and +eye. He saw that Philip was full of something of his own, immediately +interesting to himself; and he cast about quickly in his mind what it +could be. Not that the boy was heir to a peerage: he would never have +come like _this_ to announce _that_: but something that Philip was +cruelly disappointed his mother did not remember. This passed through +John's mind like a flash, though it takes a long time to describe. "Ah," +he said, "I begin to divine. Was not there something about +a--scholarship?" + +"Pippo!" cried Elinor, lighting up great lamps of relief, of sudden ease +and quick coming joy, in her brightened eyes and face. "My boy! you've +won your battle! You've got it, you've got it, Pippo! And your foolish, +stupid mother that thought for a moment you could rush to her like this +with anything but good news!" + +It took a few moments to soothe Pippo down, and mend his wounded +feelings. "I began to think nobody cared," he said, "and that made me +that I didn't care myself. I'd rather Musgrave had got it, if it had not +been to please you all. And you never seemed so much as to +remember--only Uncle John!" he added after a moment, with a half scorn +which made John laugh at the never-failing candour of youth. + +"Only the least important of all," he said. "It was atrocious of the +ladies, Philip. Shake hands, my boy, I owe you five pounds for the +scholarship. And now I'll take myself off, which will please you most of +all." + +He went down-stairs laughing to himself all the way, but got suddenly +quite grave as he stepped outside--whether because he remembered that it +does not become a Q.C. and M.P. to laugh in the street, or for other +causes, it does not become us to attempt to say. + +And Elinor meanwhile made it up to her boy amply, and while her heart +ached with the question what to do with him, how to dispose of him during +those dreadful following days, behaved herself as if her head too was +half turned with joy and exultation, only tempered by the regret that +Musgrave, who had worked so hard, could not have got the scholarship +too. + + + + +CHAPTER XLI. + + +Elinor made much of her boy during that day and the following days, to +take away the sense of disappointment which even after the first great +mortification was got over still haunted young Philip's mind. It +surprised him beyond measure to find that she did not wish to go out +with him, indeed in so far as was possible avoided it altogether, save +for a hurried drive to a few places, during which she kept her veil +down and sheltered herself with an umbrella in the most ridiculous way. +"Are you afraid of your complexion, mother?" the boy asked of her with +disdain. "It looks like it," she said, but with a laugh that was full of +embarrassment, "though it is a little late in the day." Elinor was +perhaps better aware than Pippo was that she had a complexion which a +girl might have envied, and was still as fresh as a rose, notwithstanding +that she was a year or two over forty; but I need not say it was not of +her complexion she was thinking. She had been careful to choose her time +on previous visits to London so as to risk as little as possible the +chance of meeting her husband. But now there was no doubt that he was in +town, and not the least that if he met her anywhere with Pippo, her +secret, so far as it had ever been a secret, would be in his hands. Even +when John took the boy out it was with a beating heart that his mother +saw him go, for John was too well known to make any secret possible +about his movements, or who it was who was with him. Perhaps it was for +this reason that John desired to take him out, and even cut short his +day's work on one or two occasions to act as cicerone to Philip. He took +him to the House, to the great excitement and delight of the boy, who +only wished that the entertainment could have been made complete by a +speech from Uncle John, which was a point in which his guide, philosopher, +and friend, though in every other way so complaisant, did not humour +Pippo. On one occasion during the first week they had an encounter which +made John's middle-aged pulses move a little quicker. When they were +walking along through Hyde Park, having strolled that way in the fading +of the May afternoon, when the carriages were still promenading up and +down, before they returned to Halkin Street to dinner, where Elinor +awaited them--it happened to Mr. Tatham to meet the roving eyes of +Lady Mariamne, who lay back languidly in her carriage, wrapped in a +fur cloak, and shivering in the chill of the evening. She was not +particularly interested in anything or any person whom she had seen, +and was a little cross and desirous of getting home. But when she saw +John she roused up immediately, and gave a sign to Dolly, who sat by +her, to pull the check-string. "Mr. Tatham!" she cried, in her shrill +voice. Lady Mariamne was not one of the people who object to hear +their voice in public or are reluctant to make their wishes known to +everybody. She felt herself to be of the cast in which everybody is +interested, and that the public liked to know whom she honoured with her +acquaintance. "Mr. Tatham! are you going to carry your rudeness so far +as not to seem to know me? Oh, come here this moment, you impertinent +man!" + +"Can I be of any use to you, Lady Mariamne?" said John, gravely, at the +carriage door. + +"Oh, dear no; you can't be of any use. What should I have those men for +if I wanted you to be of use? Come and talk a moment, that's all; or get +into the carriage and I'll take you anywhere. Dolly and I have driven +round and round, and we have not seen a creature we cared to see. Yes! +there was a darling, darling little Maltese terrier, with white silk +curls hanging over his eyes, on an odious woman's lap; but I cannot +expect you to find that angel for me. Mr. Tatham, who is that tall boy?" + +"Pippo," said John, quickly (though probably he had never in his life +before used that name, which he disapproved of angrily, as people often +do of a childish name which does not please them), "go on. I'll come +after you directly. The boy is a cousin of mine, Lady Mariamne, just +from school." + +"Mr. Tatham, I am quite sure it is Nell's boy. Call after him. What's +his name? Bring him back! John Thomas, run after that young gentleman, +and say with my compliments----" + +"Nothing," said John, stopping the footman with a lifted hand and a +still more emphatic look. "He is hastening home to--an engagement. And +it's evident I had better go too--for your little friend there is +showing his teeth." + +"The darling!" said Lady Mariamne, "did it show its little pearls at the +wicked man that will not do what its mummy says? Dolly, can't you jump +down and run after that boy? I am sure it is your Uncle Philip's boy." + +"He is out of sight, mother," said Miss Dolly, calmly. + +"You are the most dreadful, wicked, unkind people, all of you. Show its +little teeth, then, darling! Oo's the only one that has any feeling. Mr. +Tatham, do tell me something about this trial. What is going to be +done? Phil is mixed up in it. I know he is. Can they do anything to +anybody--after all this time? They can't make you pay up, I know, after +a certain time. Oh, couldn't it all be hushed up and stopped and kept +out of the newspapers? I hate the newspapers, always chuckling over +every new discovery. But this cannot be called a new discovery. If it's +true it's old, as old as the old beginning of the world. Don't you think +somebody could get at the newspaper men and have it hushed up?" + +"I doubt if you could get hold of all of them, their name is legion," +said John. + +"Oh, I don't care what their name is. If you will help me, Mr. Tatham, +we could get hold of most of them--won't you? You know, don't you, poor +St. Serf is so bad; it may be over any day--and then only think what a +complication! Dolly, turn your head the other way; look at that silly +young Huntsfield capering about to catch your eye. I don't want you to +hear what I have got to say." + +"I don't in the least way want to hear what you have got to say, dear +mamma," said Dolly. + +"That would have made me listen to every word," said Lady Mariamne; +"but girls are more queer nowadays than anything that ever was. Mr. +Tatham"--she put her hand upon his, which was on the carriage door, and +bent her perfumed, powdered face towards him--"for goodness' sake--think +how awkward it would be--a man just succeeding to a title and that sort +of thing put in all the papers about him. Do, do stop it, or try +something to stop it, for goodness' sake!" + +"I assure you," said John, "I can do nothing to stop it. I am as +powerless as you are." + +"Oh, I don't say that I am powerless," said Lady Mariamne, with her +shrill laugh. "One has one's little ways of influence." Then she put her +hand again upon John with a sudden grip. "Mr. Tatham," she said, "tell +me, in confidence, was that Phil's boy?" + +"I have told you, Lady Mariamne, it is a nephew of mine." + +"A nephew--oh, I know what kind of a nephew--_à la mode de Bretagne_!" + +She turned her head to the other side, where her daughter was gazing +calmly in front of her. + +"Dolly! I was sure of it," she cried, "don't you hear? Dolly, don't you +hear?" + +"Which, mamma?" said Dolly, gravely; "of course I could not help hearing +it all. Which part was I to notice? about the newspapers or about the +boy?" + +Lady Mariamne appealed to earth and heaven with the loud cackle of her +laugh. "He can't deny it," she said; "he as good as owns it. I am +certain that's the boy that will be Lomond." + +"Uncle St. Serf is not dead yet," said Dolly, reprovingly. + +"Poor Serf!--but he's so very bad," said Lady Mariamne, "that it's +almost the same thing. Mr. Tatham, can't we take you anywhere? I'm so +glad I've seen Nell's boy. Can't we drive you home? Perhaps you've got +Nell there too?" + +John stood back from the carriage door, just in time to escape the start +of the horses as the remorseless string was touched and the footman +clambered up into his seat. Lady Mariamne's smile went off her face, and +she had forgotten all about it, to judge from appearances, before he had +got himself in motion again. And a little farther on, behind the next +tree, he found young Philip waiting, full of curiosity and questions. + +"Who was that lady, Uncle John? Was she asking about me? I thought I +heard her call. I had half a mind to run back and say 'Here I am.'" + +"It was much better that you didn't do anything of the kind. Never pay +any attention when you think you hear a fine lady calling you, Philip. +It is better not to hear the Siren's call." + +"When they're elderly Sirens like that!" said the boy, with a laugh. +"But I say, Uncle John, if you won't tell me who the lady is, who is the +girl? She has a pair of eyes!--not like Sirens though--eyes that go +through you--like--like a pair of lancets." + +"A surgical operation in fact: and I shouldn't wonder if she meant +to be a doctor," said John. "The mother has done nothing all her life, +therefore the daughter means to do much. It is the natural reaction of +the generations. But I never noticed that Miss Dolly had any eyes--to +speak of," said the highly indifferent middle-aged man. + +The boy flushed with a sense of indignation. "Perhaps you think the old +lady's were finer?" he said. + +"I never admired the old lady, as you call her," said John, shortly; and +then he turned Philip's attention to something, possibly with the easily +satisfied conviction of a spectator that the boy thought of it no more. + +"We met my Lady Mariamne in the park," he said to Elinor when they sat +at dinner an hour later at that bachelor table in Halkin Street, where +everything was so exquisitely cared for. It was like Elinor, but most +unlike the place in which she found herself, that she started so violently +as to shake the whole table, crying out in a tone of consternation, +"John!" as if he did not know very well what he might venture to say, +or as if he had any intention of betraying her to her son. + +"She was very anxious," he said, perhaps playing a little with her +excitement, "to have Philip presented to her: but I sent him on--that is +to say, I thought I sent him on. The fellow went no farther than to the +next tree, where he stood and watched Miss Dolly, not feeling any +interest in the old lady, as he said." + +"Well, Uncle John--did you expect me to look at the old lady? You are +not so fond of old ladies yourself." + +"And who is Miss Dolly?" said Elinor, trying to conceal the beating of +her heart and the quiver on her lips with a smile; and then she added, +with a little catch of her breath, "Oh, yes, I remember there was a +little girl." + +"You will be surprised to hear that we are by way of being great +friends. Her ladyship visits me in my chambers----" + +Again Elinor uttered that startled cry, "John!" but she tried this time +to cover it with a tremulous laugh. "Are you becoming a flirt in your +old age?" + +"It appears so," said John. And then he added, "That aphorism, which +struck you as it struck me, Elinor, by its good sense--about the heir to +a peerage--is really her production, and not mine." + +"Miss Dolly's? And what was the aphorism, Uncle John?" cried Philip. + +"No, it was not Miss Dolly's, my young man. It was the mother's, and so +of course does not interest you any more." + +It did not as a matter of fact: the old lady was supremely indifferent +to Pippo; but as he looked up saying something else which did not bear +upon the subject, it occurred to the boy, as it will sometimes occur by +the merest chance to a young observer, to notice his mother. She caught +his eye somehow in the most accidental way; and Pippo was too well +acquainted with her looks not to perceive that there was a thrill in +every line of her countenance, a slight nervous tremble in her hands +and entire person, such as was in no way to be accounted for (he thought) +by anything that had been said or done. There was nothing surely to +disquiet her in dining at Uncle John's, the three alone, not even one +other guest to fill up the vacant side of the table. Philip had himself +thought that Uncle John might have asked some one to meet them. He should +have remembered that he himself, Philip, was now of an age to dine out, +and see a little society, and go into the world. But what in the name +of all that was wonderful was there in this entertainment to agitate his +mother? And John Tatham had a look--which Philip did not understand--the +look of a man who was successful in argument, who was almost crushing an +opponent. It was as if a duel had been going on between them, and the +man was the victor, which, as was natural, immediately threw Philip +violently on the other side. + +"You're not well, mother," he said. + +"Do you think not, Pippo? Well, perhaps you are right. London is too +much for me. I am a country bird," said Elinor, with smiling yet +trembling lips. + +"You shall not go to the theatre if you are not up to it," said the boy +in his imperious way. + +She gave him an affectionate look, and then she looked across the table +at John. What did that look mean? There was a faint smile in it: and +there was a great deal which Philip did not understand, things understood +by Uncle John--who was after all what you might call an outsider, no +more--and not by him, her son! Could anything be so monstrous? Philip +blazed up with sudden fire. + +"No," said John Tatham; "I think Philip's right. We'll take her home to +be coddled by her maid, and we'll go off, two wild young fellows, to the +play by ourselves." + +"No," said Philip, "I'll leave her to be coddled by no maid. I can take +care of my mother myself." + +"My dear boy," said Elinor, "I want no coddling. But I doubt whether I +could stand the play. I like you to go with Uncle John." + +And then it began to dawn upon Philip that his mother had never meant +to be of the party, and that this was what had been settled all along. +He was more angry; more wounded and hurt in his spirit than he had of +course the least occasion to be. He was of opinion that his mother +had never had any secrets from him, that she had taken him into her +confidence since he was a small boy, even things that Granny did not +know! And here all at once there was rising between them a cloud, a +mist, which there was no reason for. If he had done anything to make him +less worthy he would have understood; had there been a bad report from +school, had he failed in his work and disappointed her, there might have +been some reason for it. But he had done nothing of the kind! Never +before had he been so deserving of confidence; he had got his scholarship, +he had finished the first phase of his education in triumph, and +fulfilled all her expectations. And now just at this point of all +others, just when he was most fit to understand, most worthy of trust, +she turned from him. His heart swelled as if it would burst, with anger +first, almost too strong to be repressed, and with that sense of injured +merit which is of all things the most hard to bear. It is hard enough +even when one is aware one deserves no better. But to be conscious of +your worth and to feel that you are not appreciated, that is indeed too +much for any one. There was not even the satisfaction of giving up the +play which he had looked forward to, making a sacrifice of it to his +mother, in which there would have been a severe pleasure. But she did +not want him! She preferred that he should leave her by herself to be +coddled by her maid, as Uncle John (vulgarly) said. Or perhaps was there +somebody else coming, some old friend whom he knew nothing of, somebody, +some one or other like that old witch in the carriage whom Pippo was not +meant to know? + +It ended, however, in the carrying out of the plan settled beforehand by +those old conspirators. The old conspirators do generally manage to +carry out their plans for the management of rebellious youth, however +injured the latter may feel. Pippo wound himself up in solemn dignity +and silence when he understood that it was ordained that he should +proceed to the play with John Tatham. And the pair had got half way to +Drury Lane--or it may have been the Lyceum, or the Haymarket, or any of +half-a-dozen other theatres, for here exact information fails--before he +condescended to open his lips for more than Yes or No. But Philip's +gloom did not survive the raising of the curtain, and he had forgotten +all offences and had taken his companion into favour again, and was +talking to Uncle John between the acts with all the excitement of a +country youth to whom a play still was the greatest of novelties and +delights, when he suddenly saw a change come over John Tatham's +countenance and a slight bow of recognition directed towards a box, +which made Philip turn round and look too. And there was the old witch +of the carriage, and, what was more interesting, the girl with the keen +eyes, who looked out suddenly from the shade of the draperies, and fixed +upon Philip--Philip himself--a look which startled that young hero much. +Nor was this all; for later in the evening, after another act of the +play, some one else appeared in the same box, and fixed the dark and +impassive stare of a long pair of opera-glasses upon Philip. It amused +him at first, and afterwards it half frightened him, and finally made +him very angry. The gazer was a man, of whom, however, Philip could make +nothing out but his white shirt front and his tall stature, and the long +black tubes of the opera-glass. Was it at him the man was looking, or +perhaps at Uncle John? But the boy thought it on the whole unlikely that +anybody should stare in that way at anything so little out of the +ordinary as Uncle John. + +"I say," he said, in the next interval, "who is that fellow staring at +us out of your old lady's box?" + +"Staring at the ladies behind us, you mean," said John. "Pippo, do you +think we could make a rush for it the moment the play's over? I've got +something to look over when I get home. Are you game to be out the very +first before the curtain's down?" + +"Certainly I'm game," said Philip, delighted, "if you wish it, Uncle +John." + +"Yes, I wish it," said the other, and he put his hand on the boy's +shoulder as the act finished and the characters of the piece drew +together for the final tableau. And the pair managed it triumphantly, +and were the very first to get out at the head of the crowd, to Philip's +immense amusement and John Tatham's great relief. The elder hurried the +younger into the first hansom, all in the twinkling of an eye: and then +for the first time his gravity relaxed. Philip took it all for a great +joke till they reached Ebury Street. But when his companion left him, +and he had time to think of it, he began to ask himself why? + + + + +CHAPTER XLII. + + +I will not say that Philip's sleep was broken by this question, but it +undoubtedly recurred to his mind the first thing in the morning when he +jumped out of bed very late for breakfast, and the events of the past +night and the lateness of the hour at which he got to rest came back +upon him as excuses in the first place for his tardiness. And then, +which was remarkable, it was not the scene in the play in which he had +been most interested which came to his mind, but a vision of that box +and the man standing in front of it staring at him through the black +tubes of the opera-glass which came before Philip like a picture. Uncle +John had said it was at the ladies behind, but the boy felt sure it was +no lady behind, but himself, on whom that stare was fixed. Who would +care to stare so at him? It faintly gleamed across his thoughts that it +might be some one who had heard of the scholarship, but he dismissed +that thought instantly with a blush. It also gleamed upon him with +equal vagueness like a momentary but entirely futile light, consciously +derived from story books, and of which he was much ashamed, that the +inexplicable attention given to himself might have something to do with +the girl who had such keen eyes. Philip blushed fiery red at this +involuntary thought, and chased it from his mind like a mad dog; but he +could not put away the picture of the box, the girl putting aside the +curtain to look at him, and the opera-glass fixed upon his face. And +then why was Uncle John in such a hurry to get away? It had seemed a +capital joke at that moment, but when he came to think of it, it was +rather strange that a man who might be Solicitor-General to-morrow if +he liked, and probably Lord Chancellor in a few years, should make a +schoolboy rush from the stalls of a theatre with the object of being +first out. Philip disapproved of so undignified a step on the part of +his elderly relation. And he saw now in the serious morning that Uncle +John was very unlikely to have done it for fun. What, then, did it mean? + +He came down full of these thoughts, and rather ashamed of being late, +wondering whether his mother would have waited for him (which would have +annoyed him), or if she would have finished her breakfast (which would +have annoyed him still more). Happily for Elinor, she had hit the golden +mean, and was pouring out for herself a second cup of coffee (but Philip +was not aware it was the second) when the boy appeared. She was quite +restored to her usual serenity and freshness, and as eager to know how +he had enjoyed himself as she always was. He gave her a brief sketch of +the play and of what pleased him in it as in duty bound. "But," he +added, "what interested me almost more was that we had a sort of +a--little play of our own." + +"What?" she cried, with a startled look in her eyes. One thing that +puzzled him was that she was so very easily startled, which it seemed to +Philip had never been the case before. + +"Well," he said, "the lady was there whom Uncle John met in the +park--and the girl with her--and I believe the little dog. She made all +sorts of signs to him, but he took scarcely any notice. But that's not +all, mother----" + +"It's a good deal, Pippo----" + +"Is it? Why do you speak in that choked voice, mother? I suppose it is +just one of his society acquaintances. But the thing was that before +the last act somebody else came forward to the front of the box, and +fixed--I was going to say his eyes, I mean his opera-glasses upon us." + +Philip had meant to say upon me--but he had produced already so great +an effect on his mother's face that he moderated instinctively the point +of this description. "And stared at us," he added, "all the rest of the +time, paying not the least attention to anything that was going on. +It's a queer sensation," he went on, with a laugh, "to feel that black +mysterious-looking thing like the eyes of some monster with no speculation +in them, fixed upon you. Now, I want you to tell me---- What's the +matter, mother?" + +"Nothing, Pippo; nothing," said Elinor, faintly, stooping to lift up a +book she had let fall. "Go on with your story. I am very much +interested; and then, my dear?" + +"Mother," cried Philip, "I don't know what has come over you, or over +me. There's something going on I can't understand. You never used to +have any secrets from me. I was always in your confidence--wasn't I, +mother?" + +It was not a book she had let fall, but a ring that she had dropped from +her finger, and which had to be followed over the carpet. It made her +red and flushed when she half raised her head to say, "Yes, Pippo--you +know--I have always told you----" + +Philip did not remark that what his mother said was nothing after all. +He got up to help her to look for her ring, and put his arm round her +waist as she knelt on the floor. + +"Yes, mamma," he said, tenderly, protectingly, "I do know: but +something's changed; either it's in me that makes you feel you can't +trust me--or else it is in you. And I don't know which would be worst." + +"There is no change," she said, after a moment, for she could not help +the ring being found, and immediately when his quick, young eyes came +to the search: but she did not look him in the face. "There is no +change, dear. There is only some worrying business which involves a +great many troubles of my old life before you were born. You shall +hear--everything--in a little while: but I cannot enter into it all at +this moment. It is full of complications and--secrets that belong to +other people. Pippo, you must promise me to wait patiently, and to +believe--to believe--always the best you can--of your mother." + +The boy laughed as he raised her up, still holding her with his arm. +"Believe the best I can! Well, I don't think that will be a great +effort, mother. Only to think that you can't trust me as you always have +done makes me wretched. We've been such friends, haven't we, mamma? +I've always told you everything, or at least everything except just the +nonsense at school: and you've told me everything. And if we are going +to be different now----" + +"You've told me everything!" the boy was as sure of it as that he was +born. She had to hold by him to support herself, and it cost her a +strong effort to restrain the shiver that ran through her. "We are not +going to be different," she said, "as soon as we leave London--or +before--you shall know everything about this business of mine, Pippo. +Will that satisfy you? In the meantime it is not pleasant business, +dear; and you must bear with me if I am abstracted sometimes, and +occupied, and cross." + +"But, mother," said Philip, bending over her with that young celestial +foolish look of gravity and good advice with which a neophyte will +sometimes address the much-experienced and heavily-laden pilgrim, "don't +you think it would be easier if it was all open between us, and I took +my share? If it is other people's secrets I would not betray them, you +know that." + +Unfortunately Elinor here murmured, scarcely knowing what words came +from her lips, "That is what John says." + +"John," said the boy, furious with the quick rage of injured tenderness +and pride, "Uncle John! and you tell him more, him, an outsider, than +you tell me!" + +He let her go then, which was a great relief to Elinor, for she could +command herself better when he was a little farther off, and could not +feel the thrill that was in her, and the thumping of her heart. + +"You must remember, Pippo," she said, "what I have told you, that my +present very disagreeable, very painful business is about things that +happened before you were born, which John knew everything about. He was +my adviser then, as far as I would take any advice, which I am afraid +never was much, Pippo," she said; "never, alas! all my life. Granny will +tell you that. But John, always the kindest friend and the best brother +in the world, did everything he could. And it would have been better for +us all if I had taken his advice instead of always, I fear, always my +own way." + +Strangely enough this cheered Pippo and swept the cloud from his face. +"I'm glad you didn't take anybody's advice, mother. I shouldn't have +liked it. I've more faith in you than anybody. Well, then, now about +this man. What man in the world--I really mean in the world, in what is +called society, for that is the kind of people they were--could have +such a curiosity about--me?" + +She had resumed her seat, and her face was turned away from him. Also +the exquisite tone of complacency and innocent self-appreciation with +which Philip expressed this wonder helped her a little to surmount the +situation. Elinor could have laughed had her heart been only a trifle +less burdened. She said: "Are you sure it was at you?" + +"Uncle John said something about ladies behind us, but I am sure it was +no ladies behind. It might, of course," the boy added, cautiously, "have +been _him_, you know. I suppose Uncle John's a personage, isn't he? But +after all, you know, hang it, mother, it isn't easy to believe that a +fellow like that would stare so at Uncle John." + +"Poor John! It is true there is not much novelty about him," said +Elinor, with a tremble in her voice, which, if it was half agitation, +was yet a little laughter too: for there are scarcely any circumstances, +however painful, in which those who are that way moved by nature are +quite able to quench the unconquerable laugh. She added, with a falter +in which there was no laughter, "and what--was the--fellow like?" + +"All that I could see was that he was a tall man. I saw his large +shirt-front and his black evening clothes, and something like grey hair +above those two big, black goggles----" + +"Grey hair!" Elinor said, with a low suppressed cry. + +"He never took them away from his eyes for a moment, so of course I +could not see his face, or anything much except that he was more than +common tall--like myself," Pippo said, with a little air of pleased +vanity in the comparison. + +Like himself! She did not make any remark. It is very doubtful whether +she could have done so. There came before her so many visions of the +past, and such a vague, confused, bewildering future, of which she could +form no definite idea what it would be. Was it with a pang that she +foresaw that drawing towards another influence: that mingled instinct, +curiosity, perhaps admiration and wonder, which already seemed to move +her boy's unconscious mind? Elinor did not even know whether that would +hurt her at all. Even now there seemed a curious pungent sense of +half-pleasure in the pain. Like himself! So he was. And if it should be +that it was his father, who for hours had stood there, not taking his +eyes off the boy (for hours her imagination said, though Pippo had not +said so), his father who had known where she was and never disturbed +her, never interfered with her; the man who had summoned her to perform +her martyrdom for him, never doubting--Phil, with grey hair! To say what +mingled feelings swept through Elinor's mind, with all these elements in +them, is beyond my power. She saw him with his face concealed, standing +up unconscious of the crowded place and of the mimic life on the stage, +his eyes fixed upon his son whom he had never seen before. Where was +there any drama in which there was a scene like this? His son, his +only child, the heir! Unconsciously even to herself that fact had some +influence, no doubt, on Elinor's thoughts. And it would be impossible to +say how much influence had that unexpected subduing touch of the grey +hair: and the strange change in the scene altogether. The foolish, +noisy, "fast" woman, with her _tourbillon_ of men and dogs about her, +turned into the old lady of Pippo's careless remark, with her daughter +beside her far more important than she: and the tall figure in the front +of the box, with grey hair---- + +Young Philip had not the faintest light or guidance in the discovery of +his mother's thoughts. He was much more easy and comfortable now that +there had been an explanation between them, though it was one of those +explanations which explained nothing. He even forgave Uncle John for +knowing more than he did, moved thereto by the consolatory thought that +John's advice had never been taken, and that his mother had always +followed her own way. This was an incalculable comfort to Pippo's mind, +and gave him composure to wait calmly for the clearing up of the +mystery, and the restoration of that perfect confidence between his +mother and himself which he was so firmly convinced had existed all his +life. He was a great deal happier after, and gave her an excellent +account of the play, which he had managed to see quite satisfactorily, +notwithstanding the other "little play of our own" which ran through +everything. At Philip's age one can see two things at once well enough. +I knew a boy who at one and the same moment got the benefit of (1st) +his own story book, which he read lying at full length before the fire, +half buried in the fur of a great rug; and (2nd) of the novel which was +being read out over his head for the benefit of the other members of +the family--or at least he strenuously asserted he did, and indeed +proved himself acquainted with both. Philip in the same way had taken +in everything in the play, even while his soul was intent upon the +opera-glass in the box. He had not missed anything of either. He gave an +account of the first, from which the drama might have been written down +had fate destroyed it: and had noticed the _minauderies_ of the heroine, +and the eager determination not to be second to her in anything which +distinguished the first gentleman, as if he had nothing else in his +mind: while all the time he had been under the fascination of the two +black eyeholes _braqués_ upon him, the mysterious gaze as of a ghost +from eyes which he never saw. + +This occupied some part of the forenoon, and Philip was happy. But when +he had completed his tale and began to feel the necessity of going out, +and remembered that he had nowhere to go and nothing to do, the prospect +was not alluring. He tried very hard to persuade his mother to go out +with him, but this was a risk from which Elinor shrank. She shrank, too, +from his proposal at last to go out to the park by himself. + +"To the Row. I sha'n't know the people except those who are in _Punch_ +every week, and I shall envy the fellows riding--but at least it will be +something to see." + +"I wish you would not go to the Row, Pippo." + +"Why, mother? Doesn't everybody go? And you never were here at this time +of the year before." + +"No," she said, with a long breath of despair. No; of all times of the +year this was the one in which she had never risked him in London. And, +oh! that he had been anywhere in the world except London now! + +Philip, who had been watching her countenance with great interest, +here patted her on the shoulder with condescending, almost paternal, +kindness. "Don't you be frightened, mother. I'll not get into any +mischief. I'll neither be rode over, nor robbed, nor run away. I'll +take as great care of myself as if you had been there." + +"I'm not afraid that you will be ridden over or robbed," she said, +forcing a smile; "but there is one thing, Pippo. Don't talk to anybody +whom you--don't know. Don't let yourself be drawn into---- If you should +meet, for instance, that lady--who was in the theatre last night." + +"Yes, mother?" + +"Don't let her make acquaintance with you; don't speak to her, nor the +girl, nor any one that may be with her. At the risk even of being +uncivil----" + +"Why, mother," he said, elevating his eyebrows, "how could I be uncivil +to a lady?" + +"Because I tell you," she cried, "because you must--because I shall sit +here in terror counting every moment till you come back, if you don't +promise me this." + +He looked at her with the most wondering countenance, half disapproving, +half pitying. Was she going mad? what was happening to her? was she +after all, though his mother, no better than the jealous foolish women +in books, who endeavoured at all costs to separate their children from +every influence but their own? How could Pippo think such things of his +mother? and yet what else could he think? + +"I had better," he said, "if that is how you feel, mother, not go to the +Row at all." + +"Much better, much better!" she cried. "I'll tell you what we'll do, +Pippo--you have never been to see--the Tower." She had run over all the +most far-off and unlikely places in her mind, and this occurred to her +as the most impossible of all to attract any visitor of whom she could +be afraid. "I have changed my mind," she added. "Well have a hansom, and +I will go with you to see the Tower." + +"So long as you go with me," said Pippo, "I don't care where I go." + +And they set out almost joyfully as in their old happy expeditions of +old, for that long drive through London in the hansom. And yet the boy +was only lulled for the moment, and in his heart was more and more +perplexed what his mother could mean. + + + + +CHAPTER XLIII. + + +Fortune was favourable to Elinor that day. At the Tower, where she duly +went over everything that was to be seen with Pippo, conscious all the +time of his keen observance of her through all that he was doing, and +even through his interest in what he saw--and feeling for the first time +in her life that there was between her boy and her something that he +felt, something that was not explained by anything she had said, and +that awaited the dreadful moment when everything would have to be +told--at the Tower, as I say, they met some friends from the north, the +rector of the parish, who had come up with his son to see town, and was +naturally taking his boy, as Elinor took hers, to see all that was not +town, in the usual sense of the word. They were going to Woolwich and +Greenwich next day, and with a pang of mingled trouble and relief in her +mind Elinor contrived to engage Pippo to accompany them. On the second +day I think they were to go to St. Katherine's Docks, or the Isle of +Dogs, or some other equally important and interesting sight--far better +no doubt for the two youths than to frequent such places as the Row, and +gaze at the stream of gaiety and luxury which they could not join. Pippo +in ordinary circumstances would have been delighted to see Woolwich and +the docks--but it was so evident to him that his mother was anxiously +desirous to dispose of him so, that his satisfaction was much lessened. +The boy, however, was magnanimous enough to consent without any appearance +of reluctance. In the many thoughts which filled his mind Philip showed +his fine nature, by having already come to consent to the possibility +that his mother might have business of her own into which he had no +right to enter unless at her own time and with her full consent. It +cost him an effort, I allow, to come to that: but yet he did so, and +resolved, a little pride helping him, to inquire no more, and if possible +to wonder or be offended no more, but to wait the time she had promised, +when the old rule of perfect confidence should be re-established between +them. The old rule! if Pippo had but known! nothing yet had given +Elinor such a sense of guilt as his conviction that she had told him +everything, that there had been no secrets between them during all the +happy life that was past. + +How entirely relieved Elinor was when he started to join his friends +next morning it would be impossible to put into words. She watched all +his lingering movements before he went with eyes in which she tried to +quench the impatience, and look only with the fond admiration and +interest she felt upon all his little preparations, his dawning sense of +what was becoming in apparel, the flower in his coat, the carefully +rolled umbrella, the hat brushed to the most exquisite smoothness, the +handkerchief just peeping from his breast-pocket. It is always a +revelation to a woman to find that these details occupy as much of a +young man's attention as her own toilette occupies hers; and that he is +as tremulously alive to "what is worn" in many small particulars that +never catch her eye, as she is to details which entirely escape him. She +smiles at him as he does at her, each in that conscious superiority to +the other, which is on the whole an indulgent sentiment. Underneath all +her anxiety to see him go, to get rid of him (was that the dreadful +truth in this terrible crisis of her affairs?), she felt the amusement +of the boy's little coquetries, and the mother's admiration of his fresh +looks, his youthful brightness, his air of distinction; how different +from the Rector's boy, who was a nice fellow enough, and a credit to his +rectory, and whose mother, I do not doubt, felt in his ruddy good looks +something much superior in robustness, and strength, and manhood to the +too-tall and too-slight golden youth of the ladies at Lakeside! It even +flitted across Elinor's mind to give him within herself the title that +was to be his, everybody said--Lord Lomond! And then she asked herself +indignantly what honour it could add to her spotless boy to have such a +vain distinction; a name that had been soiled by so much ignoble use? +Elinor had prided herself all her life on an indifference to, almost a +contempt for, the distinctions of rank: and that it should occur to her +to think of that title as an embellishment to Pippo--nay, to think +furtively, without her own knowledge, so to speak, that Pippo looked +every inch a lord and heir to a peerage, was an involuntary weakness +almost incredible. She blushed for herself as she realised it:--a +peerage which had meant so little that was excellent--a name connected +with so many undesirable precedents: still I suppose when it is his own +even the veriest democrat is conscious at least of the picturesqueness, +the superiority, as a mode of distinguishing one man from another, of +anything that can in the remotest sense be called a historical name. + +When Pippo was out of sight Elinor turned from the window with a sigh, +and came back to the dark chamber of her own life, full at this moment +of all the gathered blackness of the past and of the future. She put her +hands over her eyes, and sank down upon a seat, as if to shut out from +herself all that was before her. But shut it out as she might, there it +was--the horrible court with the judgment-seat, the rows of faces bent +upon her, the silence through which her own voice must rise alone, +saying--what? What was it she was called there to say? Oh, how little +they knew who suggested that her mother should have been called instead +of her, with all her minute old-fashioned calculations and exact memory, +who even now, when all was over, would probably convict Elinor of a +mistake! Even at that penalty what would not she give to have it over, +the thing said, the event done with, whatever it might bring after it! +And it could now be only a very short time till the moment of the +ordeal would come, when she should stand up in the face of her country, +before the solemn judge on his bench, before all the gaping, wondering +people--before, oh! thought most dreadful of all, which we would not, +could not, contemplate--before one who knew everything, and say---- She +picked herself up trembling as it were, and uncovered her eyes, and +protested to herself that she would say nothing that was not true. +Nothing that was not true! She would tell her story--so well remembered, +so often conned; that story that had been put into her lips twenty years +ago which she had repeated then confused, not knowing how it was that +what was a simple fact should nevertheless not be true. Alas! she knew +that very well now, and yet would have to repeat it before God and the +world. But thinking would make it no better--thinking could only make it +worse. She sprang up again, and began to occupy herself with something +she had to do: the less it was thought over the better: for now the +trial had begun, and her ordeal would soon be done too. If only the boy +could be occupied, kept away--if only she could be left alone to do what +she had to do! That he should be there was the last aggravation of which +her fate was capable; there in idleness, reading the papers in the +morning, which was a thing she had so lately calculated a boy at school +was unlikely to do; and what so likely as that his eye would be caught +by his own name in the report of the trial, which would be an exciting +trial and fully reported--a trial which interested society. The boy +would see his own name: she could almost hear him cry out, looking up +from his breakfast, "Hallo, mother! here's something about a Philip +Compton!" And all the questions that would follow--"Is he the same +Comptons that we are? What Comptons do we belong to? You never told +me anything about my family. Is this man any relation, I wonder? +Both surname and Christian name the same. It's strange if there is no +connection!" She could almost hear the words he would say--all that +and more--and what should she reply? + +"I have only one thing to say, Elinor," said John, to whom in her +desperation she turned again, as she always did, disturbing him, poor +man, in his chambers as he was collecting his notes and his thoughts +in the afternoon after his work was over: "it is the same as I have +always said; even now make a clean breast of it to the boy. Tell him +everything; better that he should hear it from your own lips than that +it should burst upon him as a discovery. He has but to meet Lady +Mariamne in the park, the most likely thing in the world----" + +"No, John," cried Elinor, "no; the Marshalls are here, our Rector from +Lakeside, and he is taking his boy to see all the sights. I have got +Pippo to go with them. They are going to Woolwich to-day, and afterwards +to quite a long list of things--oh, entirely out of everybody's way." + +Her little look of uneasy triumph and satisfaction made John smile. She +was not half so sure as she tried to look; but, all the same, had a little +pride, a little pleasure in her own management, and in the happy chance +of the Marshalls being in London, which was a thing that could not have +been planned, an intervention of Providence. He could not refuse to +smile--partly with her, partly at her simplicity--but, all the same, he +shook his head. + +"The only way in which there is any safety--the only chance of preserving +him from a shock, a painful shock, Elinor, that may upset him for +life----" + +"How do you mean, upset him for life?" + +"By showing him that his mother, whom he believes in like heaven, has +deceived him since ever he was born." + +She covered her face with her hands, and burst into a sobbing cry. "Oh, +John, you don't know how true that is! He said to me only yesterday, +'You have always told me everything, mother. There has never been any +secret between us.' Oh! John, John, only think of having that said to +me, and knowing what I know!" + +"Well, Elinor; believe me, my dear, there is but one thing to do. The +boy is a good boy, full of love and kindness." + +"Oh, isn't he, John? the best boy, the dearest----" + +"And adores his mother, as a boy should," John got up from his chair and +walked about the room for a little, and then he came behind her and put +his hand on her shoulder. "Tell him, Elinor: my dear Nelly, as if I had +never said a word on the subject before, I beseech you tell him, trust +him fully, even now, at the eleventh hour." + +She raised her head with a quivering, wistful smile. "The moment the +trial is over, the moment it is over! I give you my word, John." + +"Do not wait till it is over, do it now; to-night when he comes home." + +She began to tremble so that John Tatham was alarmed--and kept looking +at him with an imploring look, her lips quivering and every line in her +countenance. "Oh, not to-night. Spare me to-night! After the trial; +after my part of it. At least--after--after--oh, give me till to-morrow +to think of it!" + +"My dear Elinor, I count for nothing in it. I am not your judge; I am +your partisan, you know, whatever you do. But I am sure it will be the +better done, and even the easier done, the sooner you do it." + +"I will--I will: at the very latest the day after I have done my part at +the trial. Is not that enough to think of at one time, for a poor woman +who has never stood up before the public in all her life, never had a +question put to her? Oh, John! oh, John!" + +"Elinor, Elinor! you are too sensible a woman to make a fuss about a +simple duty like this." + +"There speaks the man who has stood before the world all his life, and +is not afraid of any public," she said, with a tremulous laugh. But she +had won her moment's delay, and thus was victorious after a fashion, as +it was her habit to be. + +I do not know that young Philip much amused himself at Woolwich that +day. He did and he did not. He could not help being interested in +all he saw, and he liked the Marshalls well enough, and in ordinary +circumstances would have entered very heartily into any sight-seeing. +But he kept thinking all the time what his mother was doing, and +wondering over the mysterious business which was to be explained to him +sooner or later, and which he had so magnanimously promised to wait for +the revelation of, and entertain no suspicions about in the meantime. +The worst of such magnanimity is that it is subject to dreadful failings +of the heart in its time of waiting--never giving in, indeed, but yet +feeling the pressure whenever there is a moment to think. This matter +mixed itself up so with all Philip saw that he never in after life +saw a great cannon, or a pyramid of balls (which is not, to be sure, an +every-day sight) without a vague sensation of trouble, as of something +lying behind which was concealed from him, and which he would scarcely +endure to have concealed. When he left his friends in the evening, +however, it was with another engagement for to-morrow, and several +to-morrows after, and great jubilation on the part of both father and +son, as to their good luck in meeting, and having his companionship in +their pleasures. And, in fact, these pleasures were carried on for +several days, always with the faint bitter in them to Philip, of that +consciousness that his mother was pleased to be rid of him, glad to see +his back turned, the most novel, extraordinary sensation to the boy. +And it must also be confessed that he kept a very keen eye on all the +passing carriages, always hoping to see that one in which the witch, +as he called her, and the girl with the keen eyes were--for he had not +picked up the name of Lady Mariamne, keen as his young ears were, and +though John had mentioned it in his presence, partly, perhaps, because +it was so very unlikely a name. As for the man with the opera-glasses, +he had not seen his face at all, and therefore could not hope to +recognise him. And yet he felt a little thrill run through him when any +tall man with grey hair passed in the street. He almost thought he could +have known the tall slim figure with a certain swaying movement in it, +which was not like anybody else. I need not say, however, that even had +these indications been stronger, Woolwich and the Isle of Dogs were +unlikely places in which to meet Lady Mariamne, or any gentleman likely +to be in attendance on her. In Whitechapel, indeed, had he but known, he +might have met Miss Dolly: but then in Whitechapel there were no +sights which virtuous youth is led to see. And Philip's man with the +opera-glass was, during these days, using that aid to vision in a very +different place, and had neither leisure nor inclination to move vaguely +about the world. + +For three days this went on successfully enough: young Philip Compton +and Ralph Marshall saw enough to last them all the rest of their lives, +and there was no limit to the satisfaction of the good country clergyman, +who felt that he never could have succeeded so completely in improving +his son's mind, instead of delivering him over to the frivolous amusements +of town, if it had not been for the companionship of Philip, who made +Ralph feel that it was all right, and that he was not being victimised +for nothing. But on the fourth day a hitch occurred. John Tatham had +been made to give all sorts of orders and admissions for the party +to see every nook and corner of the Temple, much to Elinor's alarm, +who felt that place was too near to be safe; but she was herself in +circumstances too urgent to permit her dwelling upon it. She had left +the house on that particular morning long before Philip was ready, and +every anxiety was dulled in her mind for the moment by the overwhelming +sense of the crisis arrived. She went to his room before he had left it, +and gave him a kiss, and told him that she might be detained for a long +time; that she did know exactly at what hour she should return. She +was very pale, paler than he had ever seen her, and her manner had a +suppressed agitation in it which startled Philip; but she managed to +smile as she assured him she was quite well, and that there was nothing +troubling her. "Nothing, nothing that has to do with us--a little +disturbed for a friend--but that will be all over," she said, "to-night, +I hope." Philip made a leisurely breakfast after she was gone, and it +happened to him that morning for the first time as he was alone to make +a study of the papers. And the consequence was that he said to himself +really those words which his mother in imagination had so often heard +him say, "Hallo! Philip Compton, my name! I wonder if he is any relation. +I wonder if we have anything to do with those St. Serf Comptons." Then +he reflected, but vaguely, that he did not know to what Comptons he +belonged, nor even what county he came from, to tell the truth. And then +it was time to hurry over his breakfast, to swallow his cup of tea, to +snatch up his hat and gloves, and to rush off to meet his friends. But +on that day Philip was unlucky. When he got to the place of meeting he +found nothing but a telegram from Ralph, announcing that his father was +so knocked up with his previous exertions that they were obliged to take +a quiet day. And thus Philip was left in the Temple, of all places in +the world, on the day when his mother was to appear in the law-courts +close by--on the day of all others when if she could have sent him for +twenty-four hours to the end of the earth she would have done so--on the +day when so terrible was the stress and strain upon herself that for +once in the world even Pippo had gone as completely out of her mind as +if he had not been. + +The boy looked about him for awhile, and reflected what to do, and +then he started out into the Strand, conscientiously waiting for the +Marshalls before he should visit the Temple and all its historical ways; +and then he was amused and excited by seeing a barrister or two in wig +and gown pass by; and then he thought of the trial in the newspapers, +in which somebody who, like himself, was called Philip Compton, was +involved. Philip was still lingering, wondering if he could get into the +court, a little shy of trying, but gradually growing eager, thinking at +least that he would try and get a sight of the wonderful grand building, +still so new, when he suddenly saw Simmons, his uncle John's clerk, +passing through the quadrangle of the law-courts. Here was his chance. +He rushed forward and caught the clerk by the arm, who was in a great +hurry, as everybody seemed to be. "Oh, Simmons, can you get me into that +Brown trial?" cried Philip. "Brown!" Simmons said. "Mr. Tatham is not on +in that." "Oh, never mind about Mr. Tatham," said the boy. "Can't you +get me in? I have never seen a trial, and I take an interest in that." +"I advise you," said Simmons, "to wait for one that your uncle's in." +"Can't you get me in?" said Philip, impatiently: and this touched the +pride of Simmons, who had many friends, if not in high places, yet in +low. + + + + +CHAPTER XLIV. + + +Philip had never been in a court of law before. I am almost as ignorant +as he was, yet I cannot imagine anything more deeply interesting than +to find one's self suddenly one of a crowded assembly trying more or +less--for is not the public but a larger jury, sometimes contradicting +the verdict of the other, and when it does so almost invariably winning +the cause?--a fellow-creature, following out the traces of his crime or +his innocence, looking on while a human drama is unrolled, often far +more interesting than any dramatic representation of life. He was +confused for the moment by the crowd, by the new and unusual spectacle, +by the bewilderment of seeing for the first time what he had so often +heard of, the judge on the bench, the wigged barristers below, the one +who was speaking, so different from any other public speaker Philip had +ever heard, addressing not the assembly, but the smaller circle round +him, interrupted by other voices: the accused in his place and the +witness--standing there more distinctly at the bar than the culprit +was--bearing his testimony before earth and heaven, with the fate +of another hanging on his words. The boy was so full of the novel +sight--which yet he had heard of so often that he could identify every +part of it, and soon perceived the scope of what was going on--that he +did not at first listen, so full was he of the interest of what he saw. +The imperturbable judge, grave, letting no emotion appear on his face; +the jury, just the reverse, showing how this and that piece of evidence +affected them; the barristers who were engaged, so keenly alive to +everything, starting up now and then when the witness swerved from the +subject, when the opposition proposed a leading question, or one that +was irrelevant to the issue; the others who were not "in it," as Simmons +said, so indifferent; and then the spectators who had places about or +near the central interest. Philip saw, with a sudden leap of his heart, +the ladies of the theatre and park, the witch and the girl with the keen +eyes, in a conspicuous place; the old lady, as he called her, full of +movement and gesture, making signs to others near her, keeping up an +interrupted whispering, the girl at her side as impassive as the judge +himself. And then Pippo's roving eye caught a figure seated among the +barristers with an opera-glass, which made his heart jump still more. +Was that the man? He had, at the moment Philip perceived him, his +opera-glass in his hand: a tall man leaning back with a look of +interest, very conspicuous among the wigged heads about him, with grey +hair in a mass on his forehead as if it had grown thin and had been +coaxed to cover some denuded place, and a face which it seemed to Philip +he had seen before, a face worn--was it with study, was it with trouble? +Pippo knew of no other ways in which the eyes could be so hollowed out, +and the lines so deeply drawn. A man, perhaps, hard worn with life and +labor and sorrow. A strange sympathy sprang up in the boy's mind: he was +sure he knew the face. It was a face full of records, though young +Philip could not read them--the face, he thought, of a man who had had +much to bear. Was it the same man who had fixed so strange a gaze upon +himself at the theatre? And what interest could this man have in the +trial that was going on? + +The accused at the bar was certainly not of a kind to arouse the +interest which sprang into being at sight of this worn and noble hero. +He had the air of a comfortable man of business, a man evidently well +off, surprised at once and indignant to find himself there, sometimes +bursting with eagerness to explain, sometimes leaning back with an air +of affected contempt--not a good man in trouble, as Philip would have +liked to think him, nor a criminal fully conscious of what might be +awaiting him; but a man of the first respectability, indignant and +incredulous that anything should be brought against him. Philip felt +himself able to take no interest whatever in Mr. Brown. + +It was not till he had gone through all these surprises and observations +that he began to note what was being said. Philip was not learned in the +procedure of the law, nor did he know anything about the case; but it +became vaguely apparent to him after awhile that the immediate question +concerned the destruction of the books of a joint-stock company, of +which Brown was the manager, an important point which the prosecution +had some difficulty in bringing home to him. After it had been proved +that the books had been destroyed, and that so far as was known it +was to Brown's interest alone to destroy them, the evidence as to what +had been seen on the evening on which this took place suddenly took a +new turn, and seemed to introduce a new actor on the scene. Some one +had been seen to enter the office in the twilight who could not be +identified with Brown; whom, indeed, even Philip, with his boyish +interest in the novelty of the proceedings, vaguely perceived to be +another man. The action of the piece, so to speak (for it was like a +play to Philip), changed and wavered here--and he began to be sensible +of the character of the different players in it. The counsel for the +prosecution was a well-known and eminent barrister, one of the most +noted of the time, a man before whom witnesses trembled, and even the +Bench itself was sometimes known to quail. That this was the case on the +present occasion Philip vaguely perceived. There were points continually +arising which the opposing counsel made objections to, appealing to the +judge; but it rarely failed that the stronger side, which was that of +the prosecution, won the day. The imperious accuser, whose resources of +precedent and argument seemed boundless, carried everything with a +high hand. The boy, of course, was not aware of the weakness of the +representative of the majesty of the law, nor the inferiority, in force +and skill, of the defence; but he gradually came to a practical +perception of how the matter stood. + +Philip listened with growing interest, sometimes amused, sometimes +indignant, as the remorseless prosecutor ploughed his way through the +witnesses, whom he bullied into admissions that they were certain of +nothing, and that in the dusk of that far-off evening, the man whom they +had sworn at the time to be quite unlike him, might in reality have been +Brown. Philip got greatly interested in this question. He took up the +opposite side himself with much heat, feeling as sure as if he had been +there that it was not Brown: and he was delighted in his excitement, +when there stood up one man who would not be bullied, a man who had the +air of a respectable clerk of the lower class, and who held his own. He +had been an office boy, the son apparently of the housekeeper in charge +of the premises referred to when the incident occurred, and the gist of +his evidence was that the prisoner at the bar--so awful a personage once +to the little office boy, so curtly discussed now as Brown--had left the +office at four o'clock in the afternoon of the 6th of September, and had +not appeared again. + +"A different gentleman altogether came in the evening, a much taller +man, with a large moustache." + +"Where was it that you saw this man?" + +"Slipping in at the side door of the office as if he didn't want to be +seen." + +"Was that a door which was generally open, or used by the public?" + +"Never, sir; but none of the doors were used at that time of night." + +"And how, then, could any one get admittance there?" + +"Only those that had private keys; the directors had their private +keys." + +"Then your conclusion was that it was a director, and that he had a +right to be there?" + +"I knew it was a director, sir, because I knew the gentleman," the +witness said. + +"You say it was late in the evening of the 6th of September. Was it +daylight at the time?" + +"Oh, no, sir; nearly dark--a sort of a half light." + +"Did the person you saw go in openly, or make any attempt at concealment?" + +"He had a light coat on, like the coats gentlemen wear when they go to +the theatre, and something muffled round his throat, and his hat pulled +down over his face." + +"Like a person who wished to conceal himself?" + +"Yes, sir," said the witness. + +"And how, then, if he was muffled about the throat, and his hat pulled +over his face, in the half light late in the evening, could you see that +he had a large moustache?" + +The witness stood and stared with his mouth open, and made no reply. + +The counsel, with a louder voice and those intonations of contemptuous +insinuation which are calculated to make a man feel that he is convicted +of the basest perjury, and is being held up to the reprobation of the +world, repeated the question, "How could you see that he had a large +moustache?" + +"I saw it," said the witness, hotly, "because I knew the gentleman." + +"And how did you know the gentleman? You thought you recognised the +gentleman, and therefore, though you could not possibly perceive it, you +saw his moustache? I fear that is not an answer that will satisfy the +jury." + +"I submit," said the counsel for the defence, "that it is very evident +what the witness means. He recognised a man with whose appearance he was +perfectly familiar." + +"I saw him," said the witness, "as clear as I see you, sir." + +"What! in the dark, late on a September night, with a coat collar up to +his ears, and a hat pulled down over his face! You see my learned friend +in broad daylight, and with the full advantage of standing opposite +to him and studying his looks at your leisure. You might as well say +because you know the gentleman that you could see his half was dark and +abundant under his wig." + +At this a laugh ran through the court, at which Philip, listening, was +furiously indignant, as it interrupted the course of the investigation. +It was through the sound of this laugh that he heard the witness demand +loudly, "How could I be mistaken, when I saw Mr. Compton every day?" + +Mr. Compton! Philip's heart began to beat like the hammers of a +steam-engine. Was this, then, the real issue? And who was Mr. Compton? +He could not have told how it was that he somehow identified the man +whom the witness had seen, or had not seen, with the man who had the +opera-glass, and who had fixed a dreadful blank stare upon the other in +the witness-box during a great part of this discussion. Was it he who +was on his trial, and not Brown? And who was he? And where was it that +Philip had known and grown familiar with that face, which, so far as he +could remember, he had never seen before, but which belonged to the man +who bore his own name? + +When the counsel for the prosecution had turned the unfortunate witness +outside in, and proved that he knew nothing and had seen nobody: and +that, besides, he was a man totally unworthy of credit, who had lied +from his cradle, and whose own mother and friends put no trust in him, +the court adjourned for lunch. But Philip forgot that he required any +lunch. His mind was filled with echoes of that name. He began to feel a +strange certainty that it was the same man who had fixed him with the +same gaze in the theatre. Who was Mr. Compton, and what was he? The +question took the boy's breath away. + +He sat through the interval, finding a place where he could see better, +through the kind offices of the usher to whom Simmons had commended him, +and waiting with impatience till the trial should be resumed. Nobody +remarked the boy among the crowd of the ordinary public, many of whom +remained, as he did, to see it out, Philip cared nothing about Brown: +all that he wanted to know was about this namesake of his--this Compton, +this other man, who was not Brown. If it was the man with the opera-glass, +he was not so much excited as his young namesake, for he went to +luncheon with the rest; while the boy remained counting the minutes, +eager to begin the story, the drama, again. The impression left, +however, on Philip's impartial mind was that the last witness, though +driven and badgered out of what wits he had by the examination, had +really seen a man whom he perfectly knew, his recognition of whom was +not really affected either by the twilight or the disguise. + +The thrill of interest which he felt running through all his veins as +the court filled again was like, but stronger than, the interest with +which he had ever seen the curtain rise in the theatre. His heart beat: +he felt as if in some sort it was his own fate that was going to be +decided: all his prepossessions were in favour of that other accused, +yet not openly accused, person who was not Brown; and yet he felt almost +as sure as if he had been there that the office boy of twenty years ago +had seen that man stealing in at the side door. + +Young Philip did not catch the name of the next witness who was called; +such a thing will happen sometimes even with the quickest ear at a +moment when every whisper is important. If he had heard he would +probably have thought that he was deceived by his excitement, impossible +as it was that such a name should have anything to do with this or any +other trial. The shock therefore was unbroken when, watching with all +the absorbed interest of a spectator at the most exciting play, the boy +saw a lady come slowly forward into the witness-box. Philip had the +same strange sense of knowing who it was that he had felt the previous +witness to have in respect to the man whom he could not see, but yet had +infallibly recognised: but he said to himself, No! it was not possible! +No! it was not possible! She came forward slowly, put up the veil that +had covered her face, and grasped the bar before her to support herself; +and then the boy sprang to his feet, in the terrible shock which +electrified him from head to feet! His movements, and the stifled cry +he uttered, made a little commotion in the crowd, and called forth the +cry of "Silence in the court." His neighbours around him hustled him +back into his place, where he sank down incapable indeed of movement, +knowing that he could not go and pluck her from that place--could not +rush to her side, could do nothing but sit there and gasp and gaze +at his mother. His mother, in such a place! in such a case! with +which--surely, surely--she could have nothing to do. Elinor Compton, at +the time referred to Elinor Dennistoun, of Windyhill, in Surrey--there +was no doubt about the name now. And Philip had time enough to +identify everything, name and person, for there rose a vague surging +of contention about the first questions put to her, which were not +evidence, according to the counsel on the other side, which he felt with +fury was done on purpose to prolong the agony. During this time she +stood immovable, holding on by the rail before her, her eyes fixed upon +it, perfectly pale, like marble, and as still. Among all the moving, +rustling, palpitating crowd, and the sharp volleys of the lawyers' +voices, and even the contradictory opinions elicited from the harassed +judge himself--to look at that figure standing there, which scarcely +seemed to breathe, had the most extraordinary effect. For a time Philip +was like her, scarcely breathing, holding on in an unconscious sympathy +to the back of the seat before him, his eyes wide open, fixed upon her. +But as his nerves began to accustom themselves to that extraordinary, +inconceivable sight, the other particulars of the scene came out of +the mist, and grew apparent to him in a lurid light that did not seem +the light of day. He saw the eager looks at her of the ladies in the +privileged places, the whispers that were exchanged among them. He saw +underneath the witness-box, almost within reach of her, John Tatham, +with an anxious look on his face. And then he saw, what was the most +extraordinary of all, the man--who had been the centre of his interest +till now--the man whose name was Philip Compton, like his own; he who +fixed the last witness with the stare of his opera-glass, who had kept +it in perpetual use. He had put it down now on the table before him, his +arms were folded on his breast, and his head bent. Philip thought he +detected now and then a furtive look under his brows at the motionless +witness awaiting through the storm of words the moment when her turn +would come; but though he had leant forward all the time, following +every point of the proceedings with interest, he now drew back, effaced +himself, retired as it were from the scene. What was there between these +two? Was there any link between them? What was the drama about to be +played out before Pippo's innocent and ignorant eyes? At last the storm +and wrangling seemed to come to an end, and there came out low but clear +the sound of her voice. It seemed only now, when he heard his mother +speak, that he was certified that so inconceivable a thing as that she +should be here was a matter of fact: his mother here! Philip fixed his +whole being upon her--eyes, thoughts, absorbed attention, he scarcely +seemed to breathe except through her. Could she see him, he wondered, +through all that crowd? But then he perceived that she saw nothing with +those eyes that looked steadily in front of her, not turning a glance +either to the right or left. + +For some time Philip was baffled completely by the questions put, which +were those to which the counsel on the other side objected as not +evidence, and which seemed, even to the boy's inexperienced mind, to be +mere play upon the subject, attempts to connect her in some way with the +question as to Brown's guilt or innocence. Something in the appearance, +at this stage, of a lady so unlike the other witnesses, seemed to +exercise a certain strange effect, however, quickening everybody's +interest, and when the examining counsel approached the question of the +date which had already been shown to be so momentous, all interruptions +were silenced, and the court in general, like Philip, held its breath. +There were many there expecting what are called in the newspapers +"revelations:" the defence was taken by surprise, and did not know what +new piece of evidence was about to be produced: and even the examining +counsel was, for such a man, subdued a little by the other complicating +threads of the web among which he had to pick his way. + +"You recollect," he said in his most soothing tones; "the evening of the +6th September, 1863?" + +She bowed her head in reply. And then as if that was sparing herself too +much, added a low "Yes." + +"As I am instructed, you were not then married, but engaged to Mr. +Philip Compton. Is that so?" + +"Yes." + +"One of the directors of the company of which the defendant was +manager?" + +"I believe so." + +"I am sorry to have to enter upon matters so private: but there was some +question, I believe, about an investment to be made of a portion of your +fortune in the hands of this company?" + +"Yes." + +"You received a visit from Mr. Compton on the subject on the day I have +mentioned." + +The witness made a slight movement and pause: then answered as before, +but more firmly, "Yes:" she added, "not on this subject," in a lower +tone. + +"You can recollect, more or less exactly, the time of his arrival?" + +"Yes. It was in the evening, after dinner; in the darkening before the +lamps were lit." + +"Were you looking for him on that night?" + +"No; it was an unexpected visit. He was going to Ireland, and paused on +his way through town to come down to Windyhill." + +"You have particular reasons for remembering the date, which make it +impossible that there could be any mistake?" + +"No; there could be no mistake." + +"You will perhaps inform the court, Mrs. Compton, why your memory is so +exact on this point." + +Once more she hesitated for a moment, and then replied-- + +"It was exactly ten days before my marriage." + +"I think that will do, Mrs. Compton. I will trouble you no further," the +counsel said. + +The hubbub which sprang up upon this seemed to Philip for the moment as +if it were directed against his mother, which, of course, was not the +case, but intended to express the indignant surprise of the defence at +the elaborate examination of a witness who had nothing to say on the +main subject. + +The leader on the other side, however, though taken by surprise, and +denouncing the trick which his learned brother had played upon the court +by producing evidence which had really nothing to do with the matter, +announced his intention to put a further question or two to Mrs. +Compton. Young Philip in the crowd started again from his seat with the +feeling that he would like to fly at that man's throat. + +"Twenty years is a long time," he said, "and it is difficult to be sure +of any circumstance at such a distance. Perhaps the witness will kindly +inform us what were the circumstances which fixed this, no doubt one of +many visits, on her mind?" + +Elinor turned for the first time to the side from which the question +came with a little movement of that impatience which was habitual to +her, which three persons in that crowd recognised in a moment as +characteristic. One of these was John Tatham, who had brought her to the +court, and kept near that she might feel that she was not alone; the +other was her son, of whose presence there nobody knew; the third, sat +with his eyes cast down, and his arms folded on his breast, not looking +at her, yet seeing every movement she made. + +"It was a very simple circumstance," she said with the added spirit of +that impetuous impulse: but then the hasty movement failed her, and she +came back to herself and to a consciousness of the scene in which she +stood. A sort of tremulous shiver came into her voice. She paused and +then resumed, "There was a calendar hanging in the hall; it caught Mr. +Compton's eye, and he pointed it out to me. It marked the 6th. He said, +'Just ten days----'" + +Here her voice stopped altogether. She could say no more. And there was +an answering pause throughout the whole crowded court, a holding of the +general breath, the response to a note of passion seldom struck in such +a place. Even in the cross-examination there was a pause. + +"Till when? What was the other date referred to?" + +"The sixteenth of September," she said in a voice that was scarcely +audible to the crowd. She added still more low so that the judge curved +his hand over his ear to hear her, "Our wedding-day." + +"I regret to enter into private matters, Mrs. Compton, but I believe it +is not a secret that your married life came to a--more rapid conclusion +than could have been augured from such a beginning. May I ask what your +reasons were for----" + +But here the other counsel sprang to his feet, and the contention arose +again. Such a question was not clearly permissible. And the prosecution +was perfectly satisfied with the evidence. It narrowed the question by +the production of this clear and unquestionable testimony--the gentleman +whom it had been attempted to involve being thus placed out of the +question, and all the statements of the previous witness about the +moustache which he could not see, etc., set aside. + +Philip, it may be supposed, paid little attention to this further +discussion. His eyes and thoughts were fixed upon his mother, who for a +minute or two stood motionless through it, as pale as ever, but with her +head a little thrown back, facing, though not looking at, the circling +lines of faces. Had she seen anything she must have seen the tall boy +standing up as pale as she, following her movements with an unconscious +repetition which was more than sympathy, never taking his gaze from her +face. + +And then presently her place was empty, and she was gone. + +Philip was not aware how the discussion of the lawyers ended, but only +that in a moment there was vacancy where his mother had been standing, +and his gaze seemed thrown back to him by the blank where she had been. +He was left in the midst of the crowd, which, after that one keen +sensation, fell back upon the real trial with interest much less keen. + + + + +CHAPTER XLV. + + +Philip did not know how long he remained, almost paralysed, in the +court, dazed in his mind, incapable of movement. He was in the centre of +a long row of people, and to make his way out was difficult. He felt +that the noise would call attention to him, and that he might be somehow +identified--identified, as what? He did not know--his head was not clear +enough to give any reason. When he came more to himself, and his eyes +regained a little their power of vision, it seemed to him that everybody +had stolen away. There was the judge, indeed, still sitting imperturbable, +the jury restless in their box, the lawyers going on with their eternal +quarrel over a bewildered witness, all puppets carrying on some +unintelligible, wearisome, automaton process, contending, contending for +ever about nothing. But all that had secured Philip's attention was +gone. John Tatham's head was no longer visible under the witness-box; +the ladies had disappeared from their elevated seats; the man with the +opera-glass was gone. They were all gone, and the empty husks of a +question which only concerned the comfort and life of the commonplace +culprit in the dock were being turned over and over like chaff by +the wind. And yet it was some time before poor young Pippo, shy of +attracting attention, feeling some subtle change even in himself which +he did not understand, afraid to have people look at him and divine him, +knowing more of him perhaps than he himself knew, could make up his mind +to move. He might have remained there till the court broke up but for +the movement of some one beside him, who gathered up his hat and +umbrella, and with some commotion pushed his way between the rows +of seats. Philip followed, thankful of the opportunity, and, as it +happened, the sensation of the day being over, many others followed too, +and thus he got out into the curious, wondering daylight, which seemed +to look him in the face, as if this Philip had never been seen by it +before. That was the impression given him--that when he first came out +the atmosphere quivered round him with a strange novelty, as if he were +some other being, some one without a name, new to the world, new to +himself. He did not seem sure that he would know his way home, and yet +he did not call a passing hansom, as he would have done yesterday, with +a schoolboy's pleasure in assuming a man's careless, easy ways. It is a +long way from the Law Courts to Ebury Street, but it seemed a kind of +satisfaction to be in motion, to walk on along the crowded streets. And, +as a matter of fact, Philip did lose his way, and got himself entangled +in a web of narrow streets and monotonous little openings, all so like +each other that it took him a long time to extricate himself and find +again the thread of a locality known to him. He did not know what he was +to do when he got in. Should he find her there, in the little dingy +drawing-room as usual, with the tea on the table? Would she receive him +with her usual smile, and ask where he had been and what he had seen, +and if the Musgraves had enjoyed it, exactly as if nothing had happened? +Even this wonder was faint in Philip's mind, for the chief wonder to him +was himself, and to find out how he had changed since the morning--what +he was now, who he was? what were the relations to him of other people, +of that other Philip Compton who had been seated in the court with the +opera-glass, who had arrived at Windyhill to visit Elinor Dennistoun on +the 6th of September, 1863, twenty years ago? Who was that man? and what +was he, himself Philip Compton, of Lakeside, named Pippo, whom his +mother had never once in all his life called by his real name? + +To his great wonder, and yet almost relief, Philip found that his mother +had not yet returned when he got to Ebury Street. "Mrs. Compton said as +she would very likely be late. Can I get you some tea, sir? or, perhaps +you haven't had your lunch? you're looking tired and worrited," said the +landlady, who had known Pippo all his life. He consented to have tea, +partly to fill up the time, and went up languidly to the deserted room, +which looked so miserable and desert a place without her who put a soul +into it and made it home. He did not know what to do with himself, +poor boy, but sat down vacantly, and stared into empty space, seeing, +wherever he turned, the rows of faces, the ladies making signs to each +other, the red robes of the judge, the lawyers contending, and that +motionless pale figure in the witness-box. He shut his eyes and saw the +whole scene, then opened them again, and still saw it--the dingy walls +disappearing, the greyness of the afternoon giving a depth and distance +to the limited space. Should he always carry it about with him wherever +he went, the vision of that court, the shock of that revelation? And yet +he did not yet know what the revelation was; the confusion in his mind +was too great, and the dust and mist that rose up about him as all the +old building of his life crumbled and fell away. + +"I'm sure as it's that nasty trial, sir, as has been turning your mamma +all out of her usual ways," said the landlady, appearing with her tray. + +"Oh, the trial! Did you know about the trial?" said Philip. + +"Not, Mr. Pippo, as ever she mentioned it to me. Mrs. Compton is a lady +as isn't that confidential, though always an affable lady, and not a bit +proud; but when you've known folks for years and years, and take an +interest, and put this and that together---- Dear, dear, I hope as you +don't think it's taking a liberty. It's more kindness nor curiosity, and +I hope as you won't mention it to your mamma." + +Pippo shook his head and waved his hand, at once to satisfy the woman +and dismiss her if possible; but this was not so easy to do. + +"And Lord St. Serf so bad, sir," she said. "Lord, to think that before +we know where we are there may be such changes, and new names, and no +knowing what to say! But it's best not to talk of it till it comes to +pass, for there's many a slip between the cup and the lip, and there's +no saying what will happen with a man that's been a-dying for years and +years." + +What did the woman mean? He got rid of her at length, chiefly by dint of +making no reply: and then, to tell the truth, Pippo's eye had been +caught by the pile of sandwiches which the kind woman, pitying his tired +looks, had brought up with the tea. He was ashamed of himself for being +hungry in such a dreadful emergency as this, but he was so, and could +not help it, though nothing would have made him confess so much, or even +touch the sandwiches till she had gone away. He pretended to ignore them +till the door was shut after her, but could not help vividly remembering +that he had eaten nothing since the morning. The sandwiches did him a +little good in his mind as well as in his body. He got rid of the vision +of the faces and of the red figure on the bench. He began to believe +that when he saw her she would tell him. Had she not said so? That after +awhile he should hear everything, and that all should be as it was +before? All as it was before--in the time when she told him everything, +even things that Granny did not know. But she had never told him this, +and the other day she had told him that it was other people's secrets, +not her own, that she was keeping from him. "Other people's secrets"--the +secrets of the man who was Philip Compton, who went to Windyhill on the +6th of September, ten days before Elinor Dennistoun's marriage day. +"What Philip Compton? Who was he? What had he to do with her? What, oh, +what," Pippo said to himself, "has he to do with me?" After all, that +was the most tremendous question. The others, or anything that had +happened twenty years ago, were nothing to that. + +Meanwhile Elinor, of all places in the world, was in John Tatham's +chambers, to which he had taken her to rest. I cannot tell how Mr. +Tatham, a man so much occupied, managed to subtract from all he had to +do almost a whole day to see his cousin through the trial, and stand by +her, sparing her all the lesser annoyances which surround and exaggerate +such a great fact. He had brought her out into the fresh air, feeling +that movement was the best thing for her, and instead of taking her home +in the carriage which was waiting, had made her walk with him, supported +on his arm, on which she hung in a sort of suspended life, across the +street to the Temple, hoping thus to bring her back, by the necessity of +exertion, to herself. And indeed she was almost more restored to herself +by this remedy than John Tatham had expected or hoped. For though he +placed her in the great easy-chair, in which her slender person was +engulfed and supported, expecting her to rest there and lie motionless, +perhaps even to faint, as women are supposed to do when it is particularly +inconvenient and uncomfortable, Elinor had not been there two minutes +before she rose up again and began to walk about the room, with an +aspect so unlike that of an exhausted and perhaps fainting woman, that +even John, used as he was to her capricious ways, was confounded. +Instead of being subdued and thankful that it was over, and this +dreadful crisis in her life accomplished, Elinor walked up and down, +wringing her hands, moaning and murmuring to herself; what was it she +was saying? "God forgive me! God forgive me!" over and over and over, +unconscious apparently that she was not alone, that any one heard or +observed her. No doubt there is in all our actions, the very best, much +for God to forgive; mingled motives, imperfect deeds, thoughts full of +alloy and selfishness; but in what her conscience could accuse her +now he could not understand. She might be to blame in respect to her +husband, though he was very loth to allow the possibility; but in this +act of her life, which had been so great a strain upon her, it was +surely without any selfishness, for his interest only, not for her own. +And yet John had never seen such a fervour of penitence, so strong a +consciousness of evil done. He went up to her and laid his hand upon her +arm. + +"Elinor, you are worn out. You have done too much. Will you try and rest +a little here, or shall I take you home?" + +She started violently when he touched her. "What was I saying?" she +said. + +"It does not matter what you were saying. Sit down and rest. You will +wear yourself out. Don't think any more. Take this and rest a little, +and then I will take you home." + +"It is easy to say so," she said, with a faint smile. "Don't think! Is +it possible to stop thinking at one's pleasure?" + +"Yes," said John, "quite possible; we must all do it or we should die. +And now your trial's over, Nelly, for goodness' sake exert yourself and +throw it off. You have done your duty." + +"My duty! do you think that was my duty? Oh, John, there are so many +ways to look at it." + +"Only one way, when you have a man's safety in your hands." + +"Only one way--when one has a man's safety--his honour, honour! Do you +think a woman is justified in whatever she does, to save that?" + +"I don't understand you, Elinor; in anything you have done, or could do, +certainly you are justified. My dear Nelly, sit down and take this. And +then I will take you home." + +She took the wine from his hand and swallowed a little of it; and then +looking up into his face with the faint smile which she put on when she +expected to be blamed, and intended to deprecate and disarm him, as she +had done so often: "I don't know," she said, "that I am so anxious to +get home, John. You were to take Pippo to dine with you, and to the +House to-night." + +"So I was," he said. "We did not know what day you would be called. It +is a great nuisance, but if you think the boy would be disappointed not +to go----" + +"He would be much, much disappointed. The first chance he has had of +hearing a debate." + +"He would be much better at home, taking care of you." + +"As if I wanted taking care of! or as if the boy, who has always been +the object of everybody's care himself, would be the proper person to do +it! If he had been a girl, perhaps--but it is a little late at this time +of day to wish for that now." + +"You were to tell him everything to-night, Elinor." + +"Oh, I was to tell him! Do you think I have not had enough for one day? +enough to wear me out body and soul? You have just been telling me so, +John." + +He shook his head. "You know," he said, "and I know, that in any case +you will have it your own way, Elinor; but you have promised to tell +him." + +"John, you are unkind. You take advantage of me being here, and so +broken down, to say that I will have my own way. Has this been my own +way at all? I would have fled if I could, and taken the boy far, far +away from it all; but you would not let me. Yes, yes, I have promised. +But I am tired to death. How could I look him in the face and tell +him----" She hid her face suddenly in her hands with a moan. + +"It will be in the papers to-morrow morning, Elinor." + +"Well! I will tell him to-morrow morning," she said. + +John shook his head again; but it was done behind her, where she could +not see the movement. He had more pity of her than words could say. When +she covered her face with her hands in that most pathetic of attitudes, +there was nothing that he would not have forgiven her. What was to +become of her now? Her position through all these years had never been +so dangerous, in John's opinion, never so sad, as now. Philip Compton +had been there looking on while she put his accusers to silence, at what +cost to herself John only began dimly to guess--to divine, to forbid +himself to inquire. The fellow had been there all the time. He had +the grace not to look at her, not to distract her with the sight of +him--probably for his own sake, John thought bitterly, that she might +not risk breaking down. But he was there, and knew where she was to be +found. And he had seen the boy, and had cared enough to fix his gaze +upon him, that gaze which John had found intolerable at the theatre. And +he was on the eve of becoming Lord St. Serf, and Pippo his heir. What +was to be the issue of these complications? What was to happen to her +who had hid the boy so long, who certainly could hide him no more? + +He took her home to Ebury Street shortly after, where Philip, weary of +waiting, and having made a meal he much wanted off the sandwiches, had +gone out again in his restlessness and unhappiness. Elinor, who had +become paler and paler as the carriage approached Ebury Street, and who +by the time she reached the house looked really as if at last she must +swoon, her heart choking her, her breathing quick and feverish, had +taken hold of John to support herself, clutching at his arm, when she +was told that Philip was out. She came to herself instantly on the +strength of that news. "Tell him when he comes in to make haste," she +said, "for Mr. Tatham is waiting for him. As for me I am fit for nothing +but bed. I have had a very tiring day." + +"You do look tired, ma'am," said the sympathetic landlady. "I'll run up +and put your room ready, and then I'll make you a nice cup of tea." + +John Tatham thought that, notwithstanding her exhaustion, her anxiety, +all the realities of troubles present and to come that were in her mind +and in her way, there was a flash something like triumph in Elinor's +eyes. "Tell Pippo," she said, "he can come up and say good-night to me +before he goes. I am good for nothing but my bed. If I can sleep I shall +be able for all that is before me to-morrow." The triumph was quenched, +however, if there had been triumph, when she gave him her hand, with a +wistful smile, and a sigh that filled that to-morrow with the terror and +the trouble that must be in it, did she do what she said. John went up +to the little drawing-room to wait for Pippo, with a heavy heart. It +seemed to him that never had Elinor been in so much danger. She had +exposed herself to the chance of losing the allegiance of her son: she +was at the mercy of her husband, that husband whom she had renounced, +yet whom she had not refused to save, whose call she had obeyed to help +him, though she had thrown off all the bonds of love and duty towards +him. She had not had the strength either way to be consistent, to carry +out one steady policy. It was cruel of John to say this, for but for him +and his remonstrances Elinor would, or might have, fled, and avoided +this last ordeal. But he had not done so, and now here she was in the +middle of her life, her frail ship of safety driven about among the +rocks, dependent upon the magnanimity of the husband from whom she had +fled, and the child whom she had deceived. + +"Your mother is very tired, Philip," he said, when the boy appeared. "I +was to tell you to go up and bid her good-night before you went out; for +it will probably be late before you get back, if you think you are game +to sit out the debate." + +"I will sit it out," said Philip, with no laughter in his eye, with +an almost solemn air, as if announcing a grave resolution. He went +up-stairs, not three steps at a time, as was his wont, but soberly, +as if his years had been forty instead of eighteen. And he showed no +surprise to find the room darkened, though Elinor was a woman who loved +the light. He gave his mother a kiss and smoothed her pillow with a +tender touch of pity. "Is your head very bad?" he said. + +"It is only that I am dreadfully tired, Pippo. I hope I shall sleep: and +it will help me to think you are happy with Uncle John." + +"Then I shall try to be happy with Uncle John," he said, with a sort of +smile. "Good-night, mother; I hope you'll be better to-morrow." + +"Oh, yes," she said. "To-morrow is always a new day." + +He seemed in the half light to nod his head, and then to shake it, as +one that assents, but doubts--having many troubled thoughts and +questions in his mind. But Pippo did not at all expect to be happy with +Uncle John. + + + + +CHAPTER XLVI. + + +It cannot be said that Uncle John was very happy with Philip, but that +was a thing the others did not take into account. John Tatham was doing +for the boy as much as a man could do. A great debate was expected that +evening, in which many eminent persons were to speak, and Mr. Tatham +gave Philip a hasty dinner in the House so that he should lose nothing, +and he found him a corner in the distinguished strangers' gallery, +telling him with a smile that he expected him hereafter to prove his +title to such a place. But Philip's smile in return was very unlike the +flush of pleasure that would have lighted it up only yesterday. John +felt that the boy was not at all the delightful young companion, full of +interest in everything, that he had been. Perhaps he was on his good +behaviour, on his dignity, bent upon showing how much of a man he was +and how little influenced by passing sentiments, as some boys do. Anyhow +it was certain that he was much less agreeable in his self-subdued +condition. But John was fortunately much interested in the discussion, +in which, indeed, he took himself a slight part, and, save for a passing +wonder and the disappointment of the moment, did not occupy himself so +very much with Pippo. When he looked into the corner, however, in a lull +of the debate, when one of those fools who rush in at unguarded moments, +when the Speaker chances to look their way, had managed to get upon his +foolish feet to the despair of all around, the experienced man of the +world received a curious shock from the sight of young Philip's intense +gravity, and the self-absorbed, unconscious look he wore. The boy had +the look of hearing nothing, seeing nothing that was around him, of +being lost in thoughts of his own, thoughts far too serious and troubled +for his age. Had he discovered something? What did he know? This was the +instinctive question that rose in John's mind, and not an amused +anticipation of Pippo's original boyish view of the question and the +speakers, such as had delighted him on the boy's previous visits to the +House. And indeed Philip's attention was little fixed upon the debate. +He tried hard to bring it back, to keep it there, to get the question +into his mind, but in spite of himself his thoughts flew back to the +other public assembly in which he had sat unnoticed that day: till +gradually the aspect of things changed to him, the Speaker became the +judge, the wigged secretaries the pleaders, and he almost expected to +see that sudden apparition, that sight that had plucked him out of his +careless life of boyhood and trust, the sight of his mother standing +before the world on trial for her life. Oh, no, no, not on trial at all! +he was aware of that: a harmless witness, doing only good. The judge +could have nothing but polite regard for her, the jury admiration and +thanks for the clear testimony which took a weight from their shoulders. +But before her son she was on her trial, her trial for more than +life--and he who said with so much assurance that his mother had no +secrets from him! until the moment arrived, without any warning, in the +midst of his security, which proved that everything had been secret, and +that all was mystery--all mystery! and nothing sure in life. + +It crossed Philip's mind more than once to question John Tatham upon +this dreadful discovery of his--John, who was a relation, who had been +the universal referee of the household as long as he could remember, +Uncle John must know. But there were two things which held him back: +first, the recollection of his own disdainful offence at the suggestion +that Uncle John, an outsider, could know more than he did of the family +concerns; and partly from the proud determination to ask no questions, +to seek no information that was not freely given to him. He made up his +mind to this while he looked out from his corner upon the lighted House, +seeing men move up and down, and voices going on, and the sound of +restless members coming and going, while the business of the country +went on. It was far more important than any private affairs that could +be passing in an individual brain, and Philip knew with what high-handed +certainty he would have put down the idea that to himself at his age +there could be anything private half so exciting, half so full of +interest, as a debate on the policy of the country which might carry +with it the highest issues. But conviction comes readily on such +subjects when the personal interest comes which carries every other +away. It was while a minister was speaking, and everything hanging on +his words, that the boy made up his mind finally that he would ask no +questions. He would ignore that scene in the Law Courts, as if it had +not been. He would say nothing, try to look as if nothing had passed, +and wait to see if any explanation would come. + +It was not, perhaps, then to be wondered at if John found him a much +less interesting companion than ever before, as they walked home +together in the small hours of the night. Mr. Tatham's own speech had +been short, but he had the agreeable consciousness that it had been an +effective one, and he was prepared to find the boy excited by it, and +full of applause and satisfaction. But Philip did not say a word about +the speech. He was only a boy, and it may be supposed that any applause +from him would have had little importance for the famous lawyer--the +highly-esteemed member who kept his independence, and whose speeches +always secured the attention of the House, and carried weight as among +the few utterances which concerned the real import of a question and not +its mere party meaning. But John was hurt more than he could have thought +possible by Philip's silence. He even tried to lead the conversation +artfully to that point in the debate, thinking perhaps the boy was shy +of speaking on the subject--but with no effect. It was exceedingly +strange. Had he been deceived in Philip? had the boy really no interest +in subjects of an elevated description? or was he ill? or what was the +matter with him? It troubled John to let him go on alone from Halkin +Street to his lodging, with a vague sense that something might happen. +But that was, of course, too absurd. "Tell your mother I'll come round +in the afternoon to-morrow, as soon as I am free," he said, holding +Philip's hand. And then he added, paternally, still holding that hand, +"Go to bed at once, boy. You've had a tiring day." + +"Yes--I suppose so," said Philip, drawing his hand away. + +"I hope you haven't done too much," said John, still lingering. "You're +too young for politics--and to sit up so late. I was wrong to keep you +out of bed." + +"I hope I'm not such a child as that," said Philip, with a half-smile: +and then he went away, and John Tatham, with an anxious heart, closed +behind him his own door. If it were not for Elinor and her boy what a +life free of anxiety John would have had! Never any need to think with +solicitude of anything outside that peaceful door, no trouble with other +people's feelings, with investigations what this or that look or word +meant. But perhaps it was Elinor and her boy, after all (none of his! +thinking of him as an outsider, having nothing to do with their most +intimate circle of confidence and natural defence), who, by means of +that very anxiety, kept alive the higher principles of humanity in John +Tatham's heart. + +Philip went home, walking quickly through the silent streets. They were +very silent at that advanced hour, yet not so completely but that there +was a woman who came up to the boy at the corner. Philip neither knew +nor desired to know what she said. He thought nothing about her one way +or another. He took a shilling out of his pocket and threw it to her as +he passed--walking on with the quick, elastic step which the sudden +acquaintance he had made with care had not been able to subdue. He saw +that there was still a faint light in his mother's window when he +reached the house, but he would not disturb her. How little would he +have thought of disturbing her on any other occasion! "Are you asleep, +mother?" he would have said, looking in; and the time had never been +when Elinor was asleep. She had always heard him, always replied, +always been delighted to hear the account of what he had been doing, +and how he had enjoyed himself. But not to-night. With a heart full of +longing, yet of a sick revolt against the sight of her, he went past her +door to his room. He did not want to see her, and yet--oh, if she had +only called to him, if she had but said a word! + +Elinor for her part was not asleep. She had slept a little while she was +sure that Philip was safely disposed of and herself secured from all +interruption; but when the time came for his return she slept no longer, +and had been lying for a long time holding her breath, listening to +every sound, when she heard his key in the latch and his foot on the +stair. Would he come in as he always did? or would he remember her +complaint of being tired, a complaint she so seldom made? It was as a +blow to Elinor when she heard his step go on past her door: and yet she +was glad. Had he come in there was a desperate thought in her mind that +she would call him to her bedside and in the dark, with his hand in +hers, tell him--all that there was to tell. But it was again a relief +when he passed on, and she felt that she was spared for an hour or two, +spared for the new day, which perhaps would give her courage. It was an +endless night, long hours of dark, and then longer hours of morning +light, too early for anything, while still nobody in the house was +stirring. She had scarcely slept at all during that long age of weary +and terrible thought. For it was not as if she had but one thing to +think of. When her mind turned, like her restless body, from one side to +another, it was only to a change of pain. What was it she had said, +standing up before earth and heaven, and calling God to witness that +what she said was true? It had been true, and yet she knew that it was +not, and that she had saved her husband's honour at the cost of her own. +Oh, not in those serious and awful watches of the night can such a +defence be accepted as that the letter of her testimony was true! She +did not attempt to defend herself. She only tried to turn to another +thought that might be less bitter: and then she was confronted by the +confession that she must make to her boy. She must tell him that she had +deceived him all his life, hid from him what he ought to have known, +separated him from his father and his family, kept him in ignorance, +despite all that had been said to her, despite every argument. And when +Elinor in her misery fled from that thought, what was there else to +think of? There was her husband, Pippo's father, from whom he could no +longer be kept. If she had thought herself justified in stealing her +child away out of fear of the influence that father might have upon him, +how would it be now when they must be restored to each other, at an age +much more dangerous for the boy than in childhood, and with all the +attractions of mystery and novelty and the sense that his father had +been wronged! When she escaped from that, the most terrible thought of +all, feeling her brain whirl and her heart burn as she imagined her +child turning from the mother who had deceived him to the father who had +been deprived of him, her mind went off to that father himself, from +whom she had fled, whom she had judged and condemned, but who had repaid +her by no persecution, no interference, no pursuit, but an acceptance of +her verdict, never molesting her, leaving her safe in the possession +of her boy. Perhaps there were other ways in which Phil Compton's +magnanimity have been looked at, in which it would have shown in less +favourable colours. But Elinor was not ready to take that view. Her +tower of justice and truth and honour had crumbled over her head. She +was standing among her ruins, feeling that nothing was left to her, +nothing upon which she could build herself a structure of self-defence. +All was wrong; a series of mistakes and failures, to say no worse. She +had driven on ever wilful all through, escaping from every pang she +could avoid, throwing off every yoke that she did not choose to bear: +until now here she stood to face all that she had fled from, unable to +elude them more, meeting them as so many ghosts in her way. Oh, how true +it was what John had said to her so long, so long ago--that she was not +one who would bear, who if she were disappointed and wronged could +endure and surmount her trouble by patience! Oh, no, no! She had been +one who had put up with nothing, who had taken her own way. And now she +was surrounded on every side by the difficulties she had thrust away +from her, but which now could be thrust away no more. + +It may be imagined what the night was which Elinor spent sleepless, +struggling one after another with these thoughts, finding no comfort +anywhere wherever she turned. She had not been without many a struggle +even in the most quiet of the years that had passed--in one long dream +of peace as it seemed now; but never as now had she been met wherever +she turned by another and another lion in the way. She got up very +early, with a feeling that movement had something lulling and soothing +in it, and that to lie there a prey to all these thoughts was like lying +on the rack--to the great surprise of the kind landlady, who came +stealing into her room with the inevitable cup of tea, and whose inquiry +how the poor lady was, was taken out of her mouth by the unexpected +apparition of the supposed invalid, fully dressed, moving about the +room, with all the air of having been up for hours. Elinor asked, with a +sudden precaution, that the newspapers might be brought up to her, not +so much for her own satisfaction--for it made her heart sick to think +of reading over in dreadful print, as would be done that morning at +millions of breakfast-tables, her own words: perhaps with comments on +herself and her history, which might fall into Pippo's hands, and be +read by him before he knew: which was a sudden spur to herself and +evidence of the dread necessity of letting him know that story from her +own lips, which had not occurred to her before. She glanced over the +report with a sickening sense that all the privacy of sheltered life and +honourable silence was torn off from her, and that she was exposed as on +a pillory to the stare and the remarks of the world, and crushed the +paper away like a noxious thing into a drawer where the boy at least +would never find it. Vain thought! as if there was but one paper in the +world, as if he could not find it at every street corner, thrust into +his hand even as he walked along; but at all events for the moment he +would not see it, and she would have time--time to tell him before that +revelation could come in his way. She went down-stairs, with what a +tremor in her and sinking of her heart it would be impossible to say. To +have to condemn herself to her only child; to humble herself before him, +her boy, who thought there was no one like his mother; to let him know +that he had been deceived all his life, he who thought she had always +told him everything. Oh, poor mother! and oh, poor boy! + +She was still sitting by the breakfast-table, waiting, in a chill fever, +if such a thing can be, for Philip, when a thing occurred which no one +could have thought of, and yet which was the most natural thing in the +world--which came upon Elinor like a thunderbolt, shattering all her +plans again just at the moment when, after so much shrinking and delay, +she had at last made up her mind to the one thing that must be done at +once. The sound of the driving up of a cab to the door made her go to +the window to look out, without producing any expectation in her mind: +for people were coming and going in Ebury Street all day long. She saw, +however, a box which she recognised upon the cab, and then the door was +opened and Mrs. Dennistoun stepped out. Her mother! the wonder was not +that she came now, but that she had not come much sooner. No letters for +several days, her child and her child's child in town, and trouble in +the air! Mrs. Dennistoun had borne it as long as she could, but there +had come a moment when she could bear it no longer, and she too had +followed Pippo's example and taken the night mail. Elinor stood +motionless at the window, and saw her mother arrive, and did not feel +capable of going to meet her, or of telling whether it was some dreadful +aggravation of evil, or an interposition of Providence to save her for +another hour at least from the ordeal before her. + + + + +CHAPTER XLVII. + + +Mrs. Dennistoun had a great deal to say about herself and the motives +which had at the last been too much for her, which had forced her to +come after her children at a moment's notice, feeling that she could +bear the uncertainty about them no longer; and it was a thing so unusual +with her to have much to say about herself that there was certainly +something apologetic, something self-defensive in this unaccustomed +outburst. Perhaps she had begun to feel a little the unconscious +criticism that gathers round the elder person in a house, the inclination +involuntarily--which every one would repudiate, yet which nevertheless +is true--to attribute to her a want of perception, perhaps--oh, not +unkindly!--a little blunting of the faculties, a suggestion quite +unintentional that she is not what she once was. She explained herself +so distinctly that there was no doubt there was some self-defence in it. +"I had not had a letter for three days." + +And Elinor was far more humble than her wont. "I know, mother: I felt as +if it were impossible to write--till it was over----" + +"My darling! I thought at last I must come and stand by you. I felt that +I ought to have seen that all the time--that you should have had your +mother by your side to give you countenance." + +"I had John with me, mother." + +"Then it is over!" Mrs. Dennistoun cried. + +And at that moment Pippo, very late, pale, and with eyes which were red +with sleeplessness, and perhaps with tears, came in. Elinor gave her +mother a quick look, almost of blame, and then turned to the boy. She +did not mean it, and yet Mrs. Dennistoun felt as if the suggestion, "He +might never have known had you not called out like that," was in her +daughter's eyes. + +"Pippo!" she said. "Why, Elinor! what have you been doing to the boy?" + +"He does not look well," said Elinor, suddenly waking up to that anxiety +which had been always so easily roused in respect to Pippo. "He was very +late last night. He was at the House with John," she added, involuntarily, +with an apology to her mother for the neglect which had extended to +Pippo too. + +"There is nothing the matter with me," he said, with a touch of +sullenness in his tone. + +The two women looked at each other with all the vague trouble in their +eyes suddenly concentrated upon young Philip, but they said nothing +more, as he sat down at table and began to play with the breakfast, for +which he had evidently no appetite. No one had ever seen that sullen +look in Pippo's face before. He bent his head over the table as if he +were intent upon the food which choked him when he tried to eat, and +which he loathed the very sight of--and did not say a word. They had +certainly not been very light-hearted before, but the sight of the boy +thus obscured and changed made all the misery more evident. There was +always a possibility of over-riding the storm so long as all was well +with Pippo: but his changed countenance veiled the very sun in the +skies. + +"You don't seem surprised to see me here," his grandmother said. + +"Oh!--no, I am not surprised. I wonder you did not come sooner. Have you +been travelling all night?" he said. + +"Just as you did, Pippo. I drove into Penrith last night and caught the +mail train. I was seized with a panic about you, and felt that I must +see for myself." + +"It is not the first time you have taken a panic about us, mother," said +Elinor, forcing a smile. + +"No; but it is almost the first time I have acted upon it," said Mrs. +Dennistoun, with that faint instinct of self-defence; "but I think you +must have needed me more than usual to keep you in order. You must have +been going out too much, keeping late hours. You are pale enough, +Elinor, but Pippo--Pippo has suffered still more." + +"I tell you," said Philip, raising his shoulders and stooping his head +over the table, "granny, that there is nothing the matter with me." + +And he took no part in the conversation as they went on talking, of any +subjects but those that were most near their hearts. They had, indeed, +no thoughts at all to spare but those that were occupied with the +situation, and with this new feature in it, Pippo's worn and troubled +looks, yet had to talk of something, of nothing, while the meal went on, +which was no meal at all for any of them. When it was over at last Pippo +rose abruptly from the table. + +"Are you going out?" Elinor said, alarmed, rising too. "Have you any +engagement with the Marshalls for to-day?" + +"I don't know," Philip said; "Mr. Marshall was ill yesterday. I didn't +see them. I'm not going out. I am going to my room." + +"You've got a headache, Pippo!" + +"Nothing of the kind! I tell you there is nothing the matter with me. +I'm only going to my room." + +Elinor put her hands on his arm. "Pippo, I have something to say to you +before you go out. Will you promise to let me know before you go out? I +don't want to keep you back from anything, but I have something that I +must say." + +He did not ask with his usual interest what it was. He showed no +curiosity; on the contrary, he drew his arm out of her hold almost +rudely. "Of course," he said, "I will come in here before I go out. I +have no intention of going out now." + +And thus he left them, and went with a heavy step, oh, how different +from Pippo's flying foot: so that they could count every step, +up-stairs. + +"What is the matter, what is the matter, Elinor?" + +"I know nothing," she said; "nothing! He was like himself yesterday +morning, full of life. Unless he is ill, I cannot understand it. But, +mother, I have to tell him--everything to-day." + +"God grant it may not be too late, Elinor!" Mrs. Dennistoun said. + +"Too late? How can it be too late? Yes; perhaps you are right, John and +you. He ought to have known from the beginning; he ought to have been +told when he was a child. I acknowledge that I was wrong; but it is no +use," she said, wiping away some fiery tears, "to go back upon that +now." + +"John could not have told him anything?" Mrs. Dennistoun said, +doubtfully. + +"John! my best friend, who has always stood by me. Oh, never, never. How +little you know him, mother! He has been imploring me every day, almost +upon his knees, to tell Pippo everything; and I promised to do it as +soon as the time was come. And then last night I was so glad to think +that he was engaged with John, and I so worn out, not fit for anything. +And then this morning----" + +"Then--this morning I arrived, just when I would have been better away!" + +"Don't say that, mother. It is always, always well you should be with +your children. And, oh, if I had but taken your advice years and years +ago!" + +How easy it is to wish this when fate overtakes us, when the thing so +long postponed, so long pushed away from us, has to be done at last! +There is, I fear, no repentance in it, only the intolerable sense that +the painful act might have been over long ago, and the soul free now of +a burden which is so terrible to bear. + +Philip did not leave his room all the morning. His mother, overwhelmed +now by the new anxiety about his health, which had no part in her +thoughts before, went to his door and knocked several times, always with +the intention of going in, of insisting upon the removal of all +barriers, and of telling her story, the story which now was as fire in +her veins and had to be told. But he had locked his door, and only +answered from within that he was reading--getting up something that he +had forgotten--and begged her to leave him undisturbed till lunch. Poor +Elinor! Her story was, as I have said, like fire in her veins; but +when the moment came, and a little more delay, an hour, a morning was +possible, she accepted it like a boon from heaven, though she knew very +well all the same that it was but prolonging the agony, and that to get +it accomplished--to get it over--was the only thing to desire. She +tried to arrange her thoughts, to think how she was to tell it, in the +hurrying yet flying minutes when she sat alone, listening now and then +to Philip's movements over her head, for he was not still as a boy +should be who was reading, but moved about his room, with a nervous +restlessness that seemed almost equal to her own. Mrs. Dennistoun, to +leave her daughter free for the conversation that ought to take place +between Elinor and her son, had gone to lie down, and lay in Elinor's +room, next door to the boy, listening to every sound, and hoping, hoping +that they would get it over before she went down-stairs again. She did +not believe that Philip would stand out against his mother, whom he +loved. Oh, if they could but get it over, that explanation--if the boy +but knew! But it was apparent enough, when she came down to luncheon, +where Elinor awaited her, pale and anxious, and where Philip followed, +so unlike himself, that no explanation had yet taken place between them. +And the luncheon was as miserable a pretence at a meal as the breakfast +had been--worse as a repetition, yet better in so far that poor Pippo, +with his boyish wholesome appetite, was by this time too hungry to be +restrained even by the unusual burden of his unhappiness, and ate +heartily, although he was bitterly ashamed of so doing: which perhaps +made him a little better, and certainly did a great deal of good to the +ladies, who thus were convinced that whatever the matter might be, he +was not ill at least. He was about to return up-stairs after luncheon +was over, but Elinor caught him by the arm: "You are not going to your +room again, Pippo?" + +"I--have not finished my reading," he said. + +"I have a claim before your reading. I have a great deal to say to you, +and I cannot put it off any longer. It must be said----" + +"As you please, mother," he replied, with an air of endurance. And he +opened the door for her and followed her up to the drawing-room, the +three generations going one before the other, the anxious grandmother +first, full of sympathy for both; the mother trembling in every limb, +feeling the great crisis of her life before her; the boy with his heart +seared, half bitter, half contemptuous of the explanation which he had +forestalled, which came too late. Mrs. Dennistoun turned and kissed +first one and then the other with quivering lips. "Oh, Pippo, be kind +to your mother; she never will have such need of your kindness again in +all your life." The boy could almost have struck her for this advice. +It raised a kind of savage passion in him to be told to be kind to his +mother--kind to her, when he had held her above all beings on the earth, +and prided himself all his life upon his devotion to her! What Mrs. +Dennistoun said to Elinor I cannot tell, but she clasped her hands and +gave her an imploring look, which was almost as bitterly taken as her +appeal to Philip. It besought her to tell everything, to hide nothing; +and what was Elinor's meaning but to tell everything, to lay bare her +heart? + +But once more at this moment an interruption--the most wonderful and +unthought-of of all interruptions--came. I suppose it must have been +announced by the usual summons at the street-door, and that in their +agitation they had not heard it. But all that I know is, that when Mrs. +Dennistoun turned to leave the mother and son to their conversation, +which was so full of fate, the door of the drawing-room opened almost +upon her as she was about to go out, and with a little demonstration and +pride, as of a name which it was a distinction even to be permitted +to say, of a visitor whose arrival could not be but an honour and +delightful surprise, the husband of the landlady--the man of the house, +once a butler of the highest pretensions, now only condescending to +serve his lodgers when the occasion was dignified--swept into the room, +noiseless and solemn, holding open the door, and announced "Lord St. +Serf." Mrs. Dennistoun fell back as if she had met a ghost; and Elinor, +too, drew back a step, becoming as pale as if she had been the ghost her +mother saw. The gasp of the long breath they both drew made a sound in +the room where the very air seemed to tingle; and young Philip, raising +his head, saw, coming in, the man whom he had seen in court--the man who +had gazed at him in the theatre, the man of the opera-glass. But was +this then not the Philip Compton for whom Elinor Dennistoun had stood +forth, and borne witness before all the world? + +He came in and stood without a word, waiting for a moment till the +servant was gone and the door closed; and then he advanced with a step, +the very assurance and quickness of which showed his hesitation and +uncertainty. He did not hold out his hands--much less his arms--to her. +"Nell?" he said, as if he had been asking a question, "Nell?" + +She seemed to open her lips to speak, but brought forth no sound; and +then Mrs. Dennistoun came in with the grave voice of every day, "Will +you sit down?" + +He looked round at her, perceiving her for the first time. "Ah," he +said, "mamma! how good that you are here. It is a little droll though, +don't you think, when a man comes into the bosom of his family after +an absence of eighteen years, that the only thing that is said to him +should be, 'Will you sit down?' Better that, however, a great deal, than +'Will you go away?'" + +He sat down as she invited him, with a short laugh. He was perfectly +composed in manner. Looking round him with curious eyes, "Was this one +of the places," he said, "Nell, that we stayed in in the old times?" + +She answered "No" under her breath, her paleness suddenly giving way +to a hot flush of feverish agitation. And then she took refuge in a +vacant chair, unable to support herself, and he sat too, and the party +looked--but for that agitation in Elinor's face, which she could not +master--as if the ladies were receiving and he paying a morning call. +The other two, however, did not sit down. Young Philip, confused and +excited, went away to the second room, the little back drawing-room of +the little London house, which can never be made to look anything but +an anteroom--never a habitable place--and went to the window, and stood +there as if he were looking out, though the window was of coloured +glass, and there was nothing to be seen. Mrs. Dennistoun stood with her +hand upon the back of a chair, her heart beating too, and yet the most +collected of them all, waiting, with her eyes on Elinor, for a sign to +know her will, whether she should go or stay. It was the visitor who was +the first to speak. + +"Let me beg you," he said, with a little impatience in his voice, "to +sit down too. It is evident that Nell's reception of me is not likely to +be so warm as to make it unpleasant for a third party. There was a +fourth party in the room a minute ago, if my eyes did not deceive me. +Ah!"--his glance went rapidly to where Philip's tall boyish figure, with +his back turned, was visible against the further window--"that's all +right," he said, "now I presume everybody's here." + +"Had we expected your visit," said Mrs. Dennistoun, faltering, after a +moment, as Elinor did not speak, "we should have been--better prepared +to receive you, Mr. Compton." + +"That's not spoken with your usual cleverness," he said, with a laugh. +"You used to be a great deal too clever for me, you and Nell too. But if +she did not expect to see me, I don't know what she thought I was made +of--everything that is bad, I suppose: and yet you know I could have +worried your life out of you if I had liked, Nell." + +She turned to him for the first time, and, putting her hands together, +said almost inaudibly, "I know--I know. I have thought of that, and I am +not ungrateful." + +"Grateful! Well, perhaps you have not much call for that, poor little +woman. I don't doubt I behaved like a brute, and you were quite right in +doing what you did; but you've taken it out of me since, Nell, all the +same." + +Then there was again a silence, broken only by the labouring, which she +could not quite conceal, of her breath. + +"You wouldn't believe me," he resumed after a moment, "if I were to set +up a sentimental pose, like a sort of a disconsolate widower, eh, would +you? Of course it was a position that was not without its advantages. I +was not much made for a family man, and both in the way of expense and +in--other ways, it suited me well enough. Nobody could expect me to +marry them or their daughters, don't you see, when they knew I had a +wife alive? So I was allowed my little amusements. You never went in for +that kind of thing, Nell? Don't snap me up. You know I told you I never +was against a little flirtation. It makes a woman more tolerant, in my +opinion, just to know how to amuse herself a little. But Nell was never +one of that kind----" + +"I hope not, indeed," said Mrs. Dennistoun, to whom he had turned, with +indignation. + +"I don't see where the emphasis comes in. She was one that a man could +be as sure of as of Westminster Abbey. The heart of her husband rests +upon her--isn't that what the fellow in the Bible says, or words to that +effect? Nell was always a kind of a Bible to me. And you may say that +in that case to think of her amusing herself! But you will allow she +always did take everything too much _au grand serieux_. No? to be sure, +you'll allow nothing. But still that was the truth. However, I'll allow +something if you won't. I'm past my first youth. Oh, you, not a bit of +it! You're just as fresh and as pretty, by George! as ever you were. +When I saw you stand up in that court yesterday looking as if--not a +week had passed since I saw you last, by Jove! Nell---- And how you were +hating it, poor old girl, and had come out straining your poor little +conscience, and saying what you didn't want to say--for the sake of a +worthless fellow like me----" + +A sob came out of Elinor's breast, and something half inaudible besides, +like a name. + +"I can tell you this," he said, turning to Mrs. Dennistoun again, "I +couldn't look at her. I'm an unlikely brute for that sort of thing, but +if I had looked at her I should have cried. I daresay you don't believe +me. Never mind, but it's true." + +"I do believe you," said the mother, very low. + +"Thank you," he said, with a laugh. "I have always said for a +mother-in-law you were the least difficult to get on with I ever saw. Do +you remember giving me that money to make ducks and drakes of? It was +awfully silly of you. You didn't deserve to be trusted with money to +throw it away like that, but still I have not forgotten it. Well! I came +to thank you for yesterday, Nell. And there are things, you know, that +we must talk over. You never gave up your name. That was like your +pluck. But you will have to change it now. It was indecent of me to have +myself announced like that and poor old St. Serf not in his grave yet. +But I daresay you didn't pay any attention. You are Lady St. Serf +now, my dear. You don't mind, I know, but it's a change not without +importance. Well, who is that fellow behind there, standing in the +window? I think you ought to present him to me. Or I'll present him to +you instead. I saw him in the theatre, by Jove! with that fellow Tatham, +that cousin John of yours that I never could bear, smirking and smiling +at him as if it were _his_ son! but _I_ saw the boy then for the first +time. Nell, I tell you there are some things in which you have taken it +well out of me----" + +"Mr. Compton," she said, labouring to speak. "Lord St. Serf. Oh, Phil, +Phil!----" + +"Ah," he said, with a start, "do you remember at last? the garden at +that poky old cottage with all the flowers, and the days when you looked +out for wild Phil Compton that all the world warned you against? And +here I am an old fogey, without either wife or child, and Tatham taking +my boy about and Nell never looking me in the face." + +Philip, at the window looking out at nothing through the +hideous-coloured glass, had heard every word, with wonder, with horror, +with consternation, with dreadful disappointment and sinking of the +heart. For indeed he had a high ideal of a father, the highest, such as +fatherless boys form in their ignorance. And every word made it more +sure that this was his father, this man who had so caught his eyes and +filled him with such a fever of interest. But to hear Phil Compton talk +had brought the boy's soaring imagination down, down to the dust. He had +not been prepared for anything like this. Some tragic rending asunder he +could have believed in, some wild and strange mystery. But this man of +careless speech, of chaff and slang, so little noble, so little serious, +so far from tragic! The disappointment had been too sudden and dreadful +to leave him with any ears for those tones that went to his mother's +heart. He had no pity or sense of the pathos that was in them. He stood +in his young absolutism disgusted, miserable. This man his father!--this +man! so talking, so thinking. Young Philip stood with his back to the +group, more miserable than words could say. He heard some movement +behind, but he was too sick of heart to think what it was, until suddenly +he felt a hand on his shoulder, and most unwillingly suffered himself to +be turned round to meet his father's eyes. He gave one glance up at the +face, which he did not now feel was worn with study and care--which +now that he saw it near was full of lines and wrinkles which meant +something else, and which even the emotion in it, emotion of a kind +which Pippo did not understand, hidden by a laugh, did not make more +prepossessing--and then he stood with his eyes cast down, not caring to +see it again. + +The elder Philip Compton had, I think, though he was, as he said, an +unlikely subject for that mood, tears in his eyes--and he had no +inclination to see anything that was painful in the face of his son, +whose look he had never read, whose voice he had never heard, till now. +He held the boy with his hands on his shoulders, with a grasp more full +perhaps of the tender strain of love (though he did not know him) than +ever he had laid upon any human form before. The boy's looks were not +only satisfactory to him, but filled his own heart with an unaccustomed +spring of pride and delight--his stature, his complexion, his features, +making up as it were the most wonderful compliment, the utmost sweetness +of flattery that he had ever known. For the boy was himself over again, +not like his mother, like the unworthy father whom he had never seen. +It took him some time to master the sudden rush of this emotion which +almost overwhelmed him: and then he drew the boy's arm through his own +and led him back to where the two ladies sat, Elinor still too much +agitated for speech. "I said I'd present my son to you, Nell--if you +wouldn't present him to me," he said, with a break in his voice which +sounded like a chuckle to that son's angry ears. "I don't know what you +call the fellow--but he's big enough to have a name of his own, and he's +Lomond from this day." + +Pippo did not know what was meant by those words: but he drew his arm +from his father's and went and stood behind Elinor's chair, forgetting +in a moment all grievances against her, taking her side with an energy +impossible to put into words, clinging to his mother as he had done when +he was a little child. + + + + +CHAPTER XLVIII. + + +It was while this conversation was going on that John Tatham, anxious +and troubled about many things, knocked at the door in Ebury Street. +He was anxious to know how the explanations had got accomplished, how +the boy took it, how Elinor had borne the strain upon her of such a +revelation. Well as he knew Elinor, he still thought, as is generally +thought in circumstances so painful, that a great crisis, a great mental +effort, would make her ill. He wanted to know how she was, he wanted to +know how Pippo had borne it, what the boy thought. It had glanced across +him that young Philip might be excited by so wonderful a new thing, +and form some false impression of his father (whom doubtless she would +represent under the best light, taking blame upon herself, not to +destroy the boy's ideal), and be eager to know him--which was a thing, +John felt, which would be very difficult to bear. + +The door was opened to him not by good Mrs. Jones, the kind landlady, +but by the magnificent Jones himself, who rarely appeared. John said +"Mrs. Compton?" as a matter of course, and was about to pass in, in his +usual familiar way. But something in the man's air made him pause. He +looked at Jones again, who was bursting with importance. "Perhaps she's +engaged?" he said. + +"I think, sir," said John, "that her ladyship is engaged--his lordship +is with her ladyship up-stairs." + +"His--what?" John Tatham cried. + +"His lordship, Mr. Tatham. I know, sir, as the title is not usually +assumed till after the funeral; but in the very 'ouse where her ladyship +is residing for the moment, there's allowances to be made. Naturally +we're a little excited over it, being, if I may make so bold as to say +so, a sort of 'umble friends, and long patronized by her ladyship, and +young Lord Lomond too." + +"Young Lord Lomond too!" John Tatham stood for a moment and stared at +Mr. Jones; and then he laughed out, and turned his back and walked away. + +Young Lord Lomond too! The boy! who had been more like John's boy than +anything else, but now tricked out in a new name, a new position, his +father's heir. Oh, yes, it was John himself who had insisted on that +only a few days ago! "The heir to a peerage can't be hid." It was he +that had quoted this as an aphorism worthy of a social sage. But when +the moment came and the boy was taken from him, and introduced into +that other sphere, by the side of that man who had once been the +_dis_-Honourable Phil! Good heavens, what changes life is capable +of! What wrongs, what cruelties, what cuttings-off, what twists and +alterations of every sane thought and thing! John Tatham was a sensible +man as well as an eminent lawyer, and knew that between Elinor's son, +who was Phil Compton's son, and himself, there was no external link at +all--nothing but affection and habit, and the ever-strengthening link +that had been twisted closer and closer with the progress of these +years; but nothing real, the merest shadow of relationship, a cousin, +who could count how often removed? And it was he who had insisted, +forced upon Elinor the necessity of making his father known to Philip, +of informing him of his real position. Nobody had interfered in this +respect but John. He had made himself a weariness to her by insisting, +never giving over, blaming her hourly for her delay. And yet now, when +the thing he had so worked for, so constantly urged, was done----! + +He smiled grimly to himself as he walked away: they were all together, +the lordship and the ladyship, young Lord Lomond too!--and Phil Compton, +whitewashed, a peer of the realm, and still, the scoundrel! a handsome +fellow enough: with an air about him, a man who might still dazzle a +youngster unaccustomed to the world. He had re-entered the bosom of his +family, and doubtless was weeping upon Philip's neck, and bandying about +that name of "Nell" which had always seemed to John an insult--an insult +to himself. And in that moment of bitterness John did not know how she +would take it, what effect it would produce upon her. Perhaps the very +sight of the fellow who had once won her heart, the lover of her youth, +with whom John had never for a moment put himself in competition, +notwithstanding the bitter wonder in his heart that Elinor--Elinor of +all people!--could ever have loved such a man. Yet she had loved him, +and the sight of him again after so many years, what effect might it +not produce? As he walked away, it was the idea of a happy family that +came into John Tatham's mind--mutual forgiveness, mutual return to +the old traditions which are the most endearing of all; expansions, +confessions, recollections, and lives of reunion. Something more than +a prodigal's return, the return of a sinner bringing a coronet in his +hand, bringing distinction, a place and position enough to dazzle any +boy, enough to make a woman forgive. And was not this what John wished +above all things, every advancement for the boy, and an assured place in +the world, as well as every happiness that might be possible--happiness! +yet it was possible she might think it so--for Elinor? Yes, this was +what he had wished for, been ready to make any sacrifice to secure. +In the sudden shock Mr. Tatham thought of the only other person who +perhaps--yet only perhaps--might feel a little as he did--the mother, +Mrs. Dennistoun, upon whom he thought all this would come like a +thunder-clap, not knowing that she was up-stairs in the family party, +among the lordships and the ladyship too. + +He went home and into his handsome library, and shut the door upon +himself, to have it out there--or rather to occupy himself in some more +sensible way and shut this foolish subject out of his mind. It occurred +to him, however, when he sat down that the best thing to do would be +to write an account of it all to Mrs. Dennistoun, who doubtless in the +excitement would have a long time to wait for news of this great change. +He drew his blotting-book towards him with this object, and opened it, +and dipped his pen in the ink, and wrote "My dear Aunt;" but he did not +get much further. He raised his head, thinking how to introduce his +narrative, for which she would in all likelihood be wholly unprepared, +and in so doing looked round upon his book-cases, on one shelf of which +the reflection of a ray of afternoon sunshine caught in the old Louis +Treize mirror over the mantelpiece was throwing a shaft of light. He got +up to make sure that it was only a reflection, nothing that would harm +the binding of a particular volume upon which he set great store--though +of course he knew very well that it could only be a reflection, no +impertinent reality of sunshine being permitted to penetrate there. And +then he paused a little to draw his hand lovingly over the line of +choice books--very choice--worth a little fortune, which he laughed at +himself a little for being proud of, fully knowing that what was inside +them (which generally is the cream of a book, as of a letter, according +to Tony Lumpkin) was in many cases worth nothing at all. And then John +went and stood upon the hearth-rug, and looked round him upon this the +heart of his domain. It was a noble library, any man might have been +proud of it. He asked himself whether it did not suit him better, with +all the comforts and luxuries beyond it, than if he had been like other +men, with an entirely different centre of life up-stairs in the empty +drawing-room, and the burden upon him of setting out children, boys and +girls, upon the world. + +When a man asks himself this question, however complacent may be the +reply, it betrays perhaps a doubt whether the assurance he has is so +very sure after all; and he returned to his letter to Mrs. Dennistoun, +which would be quite easy to write if it were only once well begun. But +he had not written above a few words, having spent some time in his +previous reflections, when he paused again at the sound of a tumultuous +summons at the street-door. As may be well supposed, his servant took +more time than usual to answer it, resenting a noise so out of character +with the house, during which John listened half-angrily, fearing, yet +wishing for, a diversion. And then his own door burst open, not, I need +not say, by any intervention of legitimate hands, but by the sudden rush +of Philip, who seemed to come in in a whirl of long limbs and eager eyes, +flinging himself into a chair and fixing his gaze across the corner of +the table upon his astonished yet expectant friend. "Oh, Uncle John!" +the boy cried, and had not breath to say any more. + +John put forth his hand across the table, and grasped the young flexible +warm hand that wanted something to hold. "Well, my boy," he said. + +"I suppose you know," said Philip. "I have nothing to tell you, though +it is all so strange to me." + +"I know--nothing about what interests me most at present--yourself, +Pippo, and what has happened to you." + +John had always made a great stand against that particular name, but +several times had used it of late, not knowing why. + +"I don't know what you thought of me last night," said the boy, "I was +so miserable. May I tell you everything, Uncle John?" + +What balm that question was! He clasped Pippo's hand in his own, but +scarcely could answer to bid him go on. + +"It was unnecessary, all she wanted to tell me. I fought it off all the +morning. I was there yesterday in the court and heard it all." + +"In the court! At the trial?" + +"I had no meaning in it," said Philip. "I went by chance, as people say, +because the Marshalls had not turned up. I got Simmons to get me into +the court. I had always wanted to see a trial. And there I saw my mother +stand up--my mother, that I never could bear the wind to blow on, +standing up there alone with all these people staring at her to be +tried--for her life." + +"Don't be a fool, Philip," said John Tatham, dropping his hand; "tried! +she was only a witness. And she was not alone. I was there to take care +of her." + +"I saw you--but what was that? She was alone all the same; and for me, +it was she who was on her trial. What did I know about any other? I +heard it, every word." + +"Poor boy!" + +"So what was the use of making herself miserable to tell me? She tried +to all this morning, and I fought it off. I was miserable enough. Why +should I be made more miserable to hear her perhaps excusing herself to +me? But at last she had driven me into a corner, angry as I was--Uncle +John, I was angry, furious, with my mother--fancy! with my mother." + +John did not say anything, but he nodded his head in assent. How well he +understood it all! + +"And just then, at that moment, he came. I am angry with her no more. +I know whatever happened she was right. Angry with her, my poor dear, +dearest mother! Whatever happened she was right. It was best that she +should not tell me. I am on her side all through--all through! Do you +hear me, Uncle John! I have seen you look as if you blamed her. Don't +again while I am there. Whatever she has done it has been the right +thing all through!" + +"Pippo," said John, with a little quivering about the mouth, "give me +your hand again, old fellow, you're my own boy." + +"Nobody shall so much as look as if they blamed her," cried the boy, +"while I am alive!" + +Oh, how near he was to crying, and how resolute not to break down, +though something got into his throat and almost choked him, and his eyes +were so full that it was a miracle they did not brim over. Excitement, +distress, pain, the first touch of human misery he had ever known almost +overmastered Philip. He got up and walked about the room, and talked and +talked. He who had never concealed anything, who had never had anything +to conceal. And for four-and-twenty hours he had been silent with a +great secret upon his soul. John was too wise to check the outpouring. +He listened to everything, assented, soothed, imperceptibly led him to +gentler thoughts. + +"And what does he mean," cried the boy at last, "with his new name? I +shall have no name but my own, the one my mother gave me. I am Philip +Compton, and nothing else. What right has he, the first time he ever saw +me, to put upon me another name?" + +"What name?" + +"He called me Lomond--or something like that," said young Philip: and +then there came a sort of stillness over his excitement, a lull in the +storm. Some vague idea what it meant came all at once into the boy's +mind: and a thrill of curiosity, of another kind of excitement, of +rising thoughts which he did not hardly understand, struggled up through +the other zone of passion. He was half ashamed, having just poured forth +all his feelings, to show that there was something else, something +that was no longer indignation, nor anger, nor the shock of discovery, +something that had a tremor perhaps of pleasure in it, behind. But John +was far too experienced a man not to read the boy through and through. +He liked him better in the first phase, but this was natural too. + +"It happens very strangely," he said, "that all these things should +come upon you at once: but it is well you should know now all about it. +Lomond is the second title of the Comptons, Earls of St. Serf. Haven't I +heard you ask what Comptons you belonged to, Philip? It has all happened +within a day or two. Your father was only Philip Compton yesterday at +the trial, and a poor man. Now he is Lord St. Serf, if not rich, at +least no longer poor. Everything has changed for you--your position, +your importance in the world. The last Lord Lomond bore the name +creditably enough. I hope you will make it shine." He took the boy by +the hand and grasped it heartily again. "I am thankful for it," said +John. "I would rather you were Lord Lomond than----" + +"What! Uncle John?" + +"Steady, boy. I was going to say Philip Compton's son; but Lord St. Serf +is another man." + +There was a long pause in the room where John Tatham's life was centred +among his books. He had so much to do with all this business, and yet so +little. It would pass away with all its tumults, and he after being +absorbed by it for a moment would be left alone to his own thoughts and +his own unbroken line of existence. So much the better! It is not good +for any man to be swept up and put down again at the will of others in +matters in which he has no share. As for Philip, he was silent chiefly +to realise this great thing that had come upon him. He, Lord Lomond, +a peer's son, who was only Pippo of Lakeside like any other lad in +the parish, and not half so important at school as Musgrave, who did not +get that scholarship. What the school would say! the tempest that would +arise! They would ask a holiday, and the head master would grant it. +Compton a lord! Philip could hear the roar and rustle among the boys, +the scornful incredulity, the asseverations of those who knew it was +true. And a flush that was pleasure had come over his musing face. It +would have been strange if in the wonder of it there had not been some +pleasure too. + +He had begun to tolerate his father before many days were over, to +cease to be indignant and angry that he was not the ideal father of his +dreams. That was not Lord St. Serf's fault, who was not at all aware +of his son's dreams, and had never had an ideal in his life. But John +Tatham was right in saying that Lord St. Serf was another man. The shock +of a new responsibility, of a position to occupy and duties to fulfil, +were things that might not have much moved the dis-Honourable Phil two +years before. But he was fifty, and beginning to feel himself an old +fogey, as he confessed. And his son overawed Lord St. Serf. His son, who +was so like him, yet had the mother's quick, impetuous eyes, so rapid to +see through everything, so disdainful of folly, so keen in perception. +He was afraid to bring upon himself one of those lightning flashes from +the eyes of his boy, and doubly afraid to introduce his son anywhere, to +show him anything that might bring upon him the reproach of doing harm +to Pippo. His house, which had been very decent and orderly in the late +Lord St. Serf's time, became almost prim in the terror Phil had lest +they should say that it was bad for the boy. + +As for Lady St. Serf, it was popularly reported that the reason why she +almost invariably lived in the country was her health, which kept her +out of society--a report, I need not say, absolutely rejected by society +itself, which knew all the circumstances better than you or I do: but +which sufficed for the outsiders who knew nothing. When Elinor did +appear upon great occasions, which she consented to do, her matured +beauty gave the fullest contradiction to the pretext on which she +continued to live her own life. But old Lord St. Serf, who got old +so long before he need to have done, with perhaps the same sort of +constitutional weakness which had carried off all his brothers before +their time, or perhaps because he had too much abused a constitution +which was not weak--grew more and more fond in his latter days of the +country too, and kept appearing at Lakeside so often that at last the +ladies removed much nearer town, to the country-house of the St. Serfs, +which had not been occupied for ages, where they presented at last +the appearance of a united family; and where "Lomond" (who would have +thought it very strange now to be addressed by any other name) brought +his friends, and was not ill-pleased to hear his father discourse, in a +way which sometimes still offended the home-bred Pippo, but which the +other young men found very amusing. It was not in the way of morals, +however, that Lord St. Serf ever offended. The fear of Elinor kept him +as blameless as any good-natured preacher of the endless theme, that +all is vanity, could do. + +These family arrangements, however, and the modified happiness obtained +by their means, were still all in the future, when John Tatham, a little +afraid of the encounter, yet anxious to have it over, went to Ebury Street +the day after these occurrences, to see Elinor for the first time under +her new character as Lady St. Serf. He found her in a languor and +exhaustion much unlike Elinor, doing nothing, not even a book near, +lying back in her chair, fallen upon herself, as the French say. Some of +those words that mean nothing passed between them, and then she said, +"John, did Pippo tell you that he had been there?" + +He nodded his head, finding nothing to say. + +"Without any warning, to see his mother stand up before all the world to +be tried--for her life." + +"Elinor," said John, "you are as fantastic as the boy." + +"I was--being tried for my life--before him as the judge. And he has +acquitted me; but, oh, I wonder, I wonder if he would have done so had +he known all that I know?" + +"I do so," said John, "perhaps a little more used to the laws of +evidence than Pippo." + +"Ah, you!" she said, giving him her hand, with a look which John did +not know how to take, whether as the fullest expression of trust, or an +affectionate disdain of the man in whose partial judgment no justice +was. And then she asked a question which threw perhaps the greatest +perplexity he had ever known into John Tatham's life. "When you tell a +fact--that is true: with the intention to deceive: John, you that know +the laws of evidence, is that a lie?" + +THE END. + + + + + BY THE SAME AUTHOR IN UNIFORM STYLE + + MARRIAGE OF ELINOR + WHITELADIES + THE MAKERS OF VENICE + + CHICAGO + W. B. CONKEY COMPANY + + + + + We are the Sole Publishers of Ella Wheeler Wilcox's Books + + + The Poetical and Prose Works of + + _ELLA WHEELER WILCOX_ + + Mrs. Wilcox's writings have been the inspiration of many young men and + women. Her hopeful, practical, masterful views of life give the reader + new courage in the very reading and are a wholesome spur to flagging + effort. Words of truth so vital that they live in the reader's memory + and cause him to think--to his own betterment and the lasting improvement + of his own work in the world, in whatever line it lies--flow from this + talented woman's pen. + + + MAURINE + + Is a love story told in exquisite verse. "An ideal poem about as true + and lovable a woman as ever poet created." It has repeatedly been + compared with Owen Meredith's _Lucile_. In point of human interest it + excels that noted story. + + "Maurine" is issued in an _edition de luxe_, where the more important + incidents of the story are portrayed by means of photographic studies + from life. + + Presentation Edition, 12mo, olive green cloth $1.00 + De Luxe Edition, white vellum, gold top 1.50 + New Illustrated Edition, extra cloth, gold top 1.50 + De Luxe New Illustrated Edition, white vellum, gold top 2.00 + + + POEMS OF POWER. + + New and revised edition. This beautiful volume contains more than _one + hundred new poems_, displaying this popular poet's well-known taste, + cultivation, and originality. The author says: "The final word in the + title of the volume refers to the Divine power in every human being, + the recognition of which is the secret of all success and happiness. + It is this idea which many of the verses endeavor to inculcate and + to illustrate." + + "The lines of Mrs. Wilcox show both sweetness and strength."--_Chicago + American_. "Ella Wheeler Wilcox has a strong grip upon the affections of + thousands all over the world. Her productions are read to-day just as + eagerly as they were when her fame was new, no other divinity having yet + risen to take her place."--_Chicago Record-Herald._ + + + Presentation Edition, 12mo, dark blue cloth $1.00 + De Luxe Edition, white vellum, gold top 1.50 + + + THREE WOMEN. A STORY IN VERSE. + + "THREE WOMEN is the best thing I have ever done."--_Ella Wheeler + Wilcox._ + + This marvelous dramatic poem will compel instant praise because it + touches every note in the scale of human emotion. It is intensely + interesting, and will be read with sincere relish and admiration. + + Presentation Edition, 12mo, light red cloth $1.00 + De Luxe Edition, white vellum, gold top 1.50 + + + AN ERRING WOMAN'S LOVE. + + There is always a fascination in Mrs. Wilcox's verse, but in these + beautiful examples of her genius she shows a wonderful knowledge of the + human heart. + + "Ella Wheeler Wilcox has impressed many thousands of people with the + extreme beauty of her philosophy and the exceeding usefulness of her + point of view."--_Boston Globe._ + + "Mrs. Wilcox stands at the head of feminine writers, and her verses and + essays are more widely copied and read than those of any other American + literary woman."--_New York World._ "Power and pathos characterize this + magnificent poem. A deep understanding of life and an intense sympathy + are beautifully expressed."--_Chicago Tribune._ + + Presentation Edition, 12mo, light brown cloth $1.00 + De Luxe Edition, white vellum, gold top 1.50 + + + MEN, WOMEN AND EMOTIONS. + + A skilful analysis of social habits, customs, and follies. A + common-sense view of life from its varied standpoints, ... full of + sage advice. + + "These essays tend to meet difficulties that arise in almost every + life.... Full of sound and helpful admonition, and is sure to assist + in smoothing the rough ways of life wherever it be read and + heeded."--_Pittsburg Times._ + + 12mo, heavy enameled paper $0.50 + Presentation Edition, dark brown cloth 1.00 + + + THE BEAUTIFUL LAND OF NOD. + + A collection of poems, songs, stories, and allegories dealing with child + life. The work is profusely illustrated with dainty line engravings and + photographs from life. + + "The delight of the nursery; the foremost baby's book in the + world."--_N. O. Picayune._ + + Quarto, sage green cloth $1.00 + + + + +TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE + +Contemporary spellings have been retained even when inconsistent. A +small number of obvious typographical errors have been corrected, and +missing punctuation has been silently added. The list of additional +works by the author has been moved to the end. + +The following additional changes have been made: + +I seemed too dear _It_ seemed too dear + +do a thing that its do a thing that _is_ + +three tittle escapades three _little_ escapades + +"you gave me a fright," "you gave me a fright," +she she said _she_ said + +waiting, with her eyes waiting, with her eyes +on Elinora, sign on Elinor, for a sign + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The Marriage of Elinor, by Margaret Oliphant + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MARRIAGE OF ELINOR *** + +***** This file should be named 28637-8.txt or 28637-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/8/6/3/28637/ + +Produced by Delphine Lettau and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Canada Team at http://www.pgdpcanada.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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