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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/28646-8.txt b/28646-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d546022 --- /dev/null +++ b/28646-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,624 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Solar Stiff, by Chas. A. Stopher + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Solar Stiff + +Author: Chas. A. Stopher + +Release Date: April 30, 2009 [EBook #28646] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SOLAR STIFF *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + SOLAR STIFF + + By + + CHAS. A. STOPHER + + + _Totem poles are a dime a dozen north + of 63° ... but only Ketch, the lying + Eskimo, vowed they dropped out of + frigid northern skies._ + + +Probos Five gazed at the white expanse ahead, trying to determine where +his ship would crash. Something was haywire in the fuel system of his +Interstar Runabout. He was losing altitude fast, so fast that all five +pairs of his eyes couldn't focus on a place to land. + +Five pairs of arms, each pair about three feet apart on the loglike +body, pushed buttons and rotated controls frantically, but to no avail. +In a few short minutes it would all be over for Probos Five. Even if by +some miracle he remained unhurt after crashing, he would die shortly +thereafter. The frigid climatic conditions of the third planet were +deadly to a Mercurian. He thought once of donning his space suit but +decided against it. That would merely prolong the agony. From Planet +Three, when one has a smashed space cruiser, there is no return. Probos +Five knew that death was riding with him in the helpless ship. The +situation did not unnecessarily dismay him; Mercurians are philosophers. + +Probos Five ceased to manipulate the unresponding controls. Stretching +his trunklike torso to its full twenty feet, four heads gazed through +observation ports at the four points of the compass while the remaining +head desultorily watched the instrument panel. + +Since die he must, Probos Five would meet his end stoically, and five +pairs of stumpy arms folded over five chests in a coordinated gesture of +resignation. + +Probos Five thought fleetingly of his wife Lingua Four and remembered +with some annoyance that she was the author of his present predicament. +A social climber, Probos Five thought to himself, but aside from that a +good wife and mother in addition to being a reigning beauty. Lingua Four +was tall even for a Mercurian. Already she scaled seven dergs, or in +Earth terms, fourteen feet and was beginning to show evidences of a +fifth head. Five heads were rarely found on females and Probos Five was +justly proud of his good fortune. In all Mercury at the present time, he +knew of but two females possessing five heads and soon Lingua Four would +be the third of her sex to be thus endowed. + +Yes, thought Probos Five, a woman to be proud of; for today after three +vargs of marriage the memory of her trim trunk with four pairs of eyes +laughing mischievously, filled his five brains with flame. Slim as a +birch she stood in his memory, and eight eyes whispered lovers' thoughts +across space and time. + +Probos Five recalled his five minds from their nostalgic reverie and +gazed at the contour of the Earth that was rushing up to meet him. +White, blazing white reflecting the rays of the midnight sun covered the +region as far as the eye could reach. + +"Good," thought Probos Five, "the Polar regions. That means the end will +come quickly. One or two seconds at the most of that bitter cold would +be enough." + + * * * * * + +Turning away from the windows Probos Five let his thoughts return to +Lingua Four, to Probos Two, his son, and his home on the first planet +from the sun. Ah, that is the place to live, thought Probos, the +temperature an unchanging 327°; just comfortably warm, where one could +enjoy a life of warmth and ease. Too bad that he would not live to see +it again. Thirty vargs, he reflected, is such a short time. With luck, +perhaps he may have lived to see a hundred vargs slip by. And perhaps in +time he may have added three more heads and five dergs in length to his +towering trunk. + +He thought of Probos Two and wondered idly if his son would also visit +the barbarian worlds to collect data for Lingua Four. + +He wished that he could have seen more of Probos Two. There's an +up-and-coming lad, he thought, not quite two vargs old and two heads +already. Yes, indeed, he's quite a boy, Probos Five remembered proudly; +maybe his mother will keep him at home instead of running him all over +the universe to get material for her committees. + +He wished that Lingua Four would settle down and be content as a +housewife, but he doubted that she would. Social ambition was boring +like a termite under her bark. + +Lingua Four was determined to be the first lady of Arbor, the capital +city of Mercury. To this end Lingua Four had labored unceasingly. She +was president of half the women's clubs of Arbor. She could always be +depended upon to furnish the best in new and diverting subjects. + +She headed almost all committees for aid or research on any type of +problem. It was owing to Lingua Four being president of the Committee +for Undernourished Arborians that Probos Five was making this +ill-starred trip. His purpose was to capture a few of the upright, +divided trunk animals that inhabited the third planet. + +They were to be transported to Mercury and given over to scientific +study as to their edible qualities. If it were found that the divided +trunk creatures were fit for Mercurian consumption, the problem of +undernourishment would no longer exist since the supply of divided +trunks was seemingly inexhaustible. Mercurians had made expeditions to +the third planet before and every report concluded with--"Divided trunk +creatures increasing in number." + +Privately Probos Five doubted the possibility of using the divided +trunks for food, since the last expedition once again reported a +complete lack of captives due to the frail and tenuous bodies of the +divided trunks. Then, too, transportation and preservation posed a +tremendous problem, not to mention the difficulty of trying to eat +something that might vaporize on your fork. But then these questions may +never arise, he decided, for of all the reports perused by Probos Five +not one expedition had succeeded in bringing a divided trunk to Mercury. + +All reports were read to the last letter by Probos Five before +assembling equipment for his own trip. In the reports he had noted many +of the difficulties of the earlier missions. Planet Three was impossible +for a Mercurian without a heated space suit. The temperature of Planet +Three was so low that it would literally freeze a Mercurian stiff in a +matter of seconds. + +The casualties of the early expeditions had been numerous. Many +Mercurians had succumbed to the bitter cold due to flaws in space suits +and other accidents. A break in the suit meant instant death. The +victims of such mishaps were invariably buried in the isolated, sparsely +inhabited Polar regions to avoid alarming the divided trunk creatures. + +It was strange, mused Probos Five, that the divided trunks were +seemingly unable to bear the slightest increase in temperature. Their +bodies disintegrated upon contact with a Mercurian. Some were roped and +dragged from a distance up to the doors of the space ships, but no +inhabitant of Planet Three had been closer to Mercury than the air lock +of the space cruisers. As the divided trunk people were dragged into the +air lock, warm air from the ship would be pumped into the lock to dispel +the frigid air of Planet Three. As the warmth of Mercury enveloped the +divided trunks they became quite red, began to melt and finally +dissolved into a gaseous state, leaving a small pile of ashes and a +disagreeable odor in the air lock that sometimes lingered for days. + +Probos Five believed he had the solution for these obstacles in the path +of scientific study of the divided trunks. He had decided to use guile +in place of strength. For this reason he had come alone and in a small +space runabout to put his solution to the test. But his solution now +could never be tried, he remembered morosely. + + * * * * * + +In the aft compartment Probos Five had constructed a refrigeration +plant. By maintaining a constant degree of frigidity he hoped to deliver +a pair of each species of divided trunks to Mercury. He hoped especially +to capture a complete set and perhaps a few over to make up for breakage +and losses. As to what form of sustenance the divided trunks were +accustomed to, he had no idea whatsoever. He had intended to bring +samples of earth, vegetation and anything else that may have suggested a +source of food for the divided trunks. + +The thought too had occurred to him that possibly the divided trunk +creatures ate one another. On the possibility of this Probos Five had +determined to capture three black ones, three white ones, three yellows, +three browns and three reds, and three of any other color that he might +find. He rather doubted that more colors or combination of colors +existed. All previous expedition reports had mentioned only the five +colors. However, Probos Five had determined to keep several eyes open on +the off chance that he might find a new and different species. + +His refrigerator was modeled along the architectural lines of the dens +of the divided trunks. The main room of the refrigerator opened to the +outside of the ship by means of a small air lock. A Mercurian size air +lock was not needed for the divided trunks, as few had been found to be +much over three dergs in height. + +Winches and cables to pull the divided trunks into the refrigerator were +installed in the refrigerator room itself to avoid burning the divided +trunks with hot cables from other parts of the ship. + +In addition, Probos Five had cunningly devised a refrigerated trap. This +too was designed to simulate the caves of the divided trunk creatures +but was smaller. It was constructed with entrances readily seen and +exits well hidden. Probos Five had expected great things of his trap. He +had conceived the idea after reading the report of a Mercurian +expedition that explored the dens of the divided trunks at some place +marked "Coney Island." According to the reports the divided trunks +showed no hesitancy in entering these types of dens. In fact, the writer +of the report gave it as his opinion that the divided ones perhaps +played games in these types of caves. It also mentioned that some of the +dens were equipped with flat shiny surfaces that cast reflections or +images. Probos Five had incorporated the image-making surfaces into his +trap design. A pity that all this effort must be wasted, thought Probos +as he once more turned to the observation ports to check his remaining +distance from the planet's surface. Seeing that his time was short, +Probos Five turned all five faces forward in the Mercurian gesture of +disdain for death. A moment later came the shock. + + * * * * * + +A week later the proprietor of a novelty shop in Fairbanks watched two +natives with their dog team pulling something loglike through the snow +toward the trading post. Turning to a customer he remarked, + +"Here comes Ketch and Ah Koo dragging in another Totem Pole. Guess that +Ketch must be the biggest liar ever produced by the Eskimos. He tried to +tell me that Totem Poles fall from the sky. Says he can always find one +if he sees it fall because it's so hot it melts the snow around it. +Personally I think he should be elected president of the Liars' Club, +but I'll buy the Totem Pole anyway. Those pesky tourists always whittle +a chunk out of my Totem Pole for a souvenir. + +"I'm glad he's bringing me another one," the storekeeper concluded, "the +one he sold me last year is about whittled away." + + + + +Transcriber's Note: + + This etext was produced from _Planet Stories_ January 1954. + Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. + copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and + typographical errors have been corrected without note. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Solar Stiff, by Chas. A. Stopher + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SOLAR STIFF *** + +***** This file should be named 28646-8.txt or 28646-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/8/6/4/28646/ + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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A. Stopher + </title> + <style type="text/css"> + + p {margin-top: .75em; text-align: justify; margin-bottom: .75em;} + h1,h2 {text-align: center; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 0;} + h2 {line-height: 1.5em;} + hr {width: 45%; margin: 1em auto; clear: both; visibility: hidden;} + body {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .trn {border: solid 1px; margin: 3em 15%; padding: 1em; text-align: justify;} + p.cap:first-letter {float: left; margin-right: .05em; padding-top: .05em; font-size: 300%; line-height: .8em; width: auto;} + .cap {clear: both;} + .dcap {text-transform: uppercase;} + .bk1 {float: left; width: auto; margin: 0 1em 2em 0;} + .bk2 {float: right; width: 18em; text-align: center; margin: 1em 0 1em 1em;} + + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Solar Stiff, by Chas. A. Stopher + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Solar Stiff + +Author: Chas. A. Stopher + +Release Date: April 30, 2009 [EBook #28646] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SOLAR STIFF *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="bk1"><h1><big>SOLAR STIFF</big></h1> + +<h2>By<br /> +CHAS. A. STOPHER</h2></div> + +<div class="bk2"><i><b><big>Totem poles are a dime a dozen north +of 63° ... but only Ketch, the lying +Eskimo, vowed they dropped out of +frigid northern skies.</big></b></i></div> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Probos Five</span> gazed at the white expanse +ahead, trying to determine where +his ship would crash. Something was +haywire in the fuel system of his Interstar +Runabout. He was losing altitude fast, so +fast that all five pairs of his eyes couldn't +focus on a place to land.</p> + +<p>Five pairs of arms, each pair about three +feet apart on the loglike body, pushed buttons +and rotated controls frantically, but +to no avail. In a few short minutes it would +all be over for Probos Five. Even if by some +miracle he remained unhurt after crashing, +he would die shortly thereafter. The frigid +climatic conditions of the third planet were +deadly to a Mercurian. He thought once of +donning his space suit but decided against +it. That would merely prolong the agony. +From Planet Three, when one has a smashed +space cruiser, there is no return. Probos Five +knew that death was riding with him in the +helpless ship. The situation did not unnecessarily +dismay him; Mercurians are philosophers.</p> + +<p>Probos Five ceased to manipulate the unresponding +controls. Stretching his trunklike +torso to its full twenty feet, four heads +gazed through observation ports at the four +points of the compass while the remaining +head desultorily watched the instrument +panel.</p> + +<p>Since die he must, Probos Five would +meet his end stoically, and five pairs of +stumpy arms folded over five chests in a coordinated +gesture of resignation.</p> + +<p>Probos Five thought fleetingly of his wife +Lingua Four and remembered with some annoyance +that she was the author of his present +predicament. A social climber, Probos +Five thought to himself, but aside from that +a good wife and mother in addition to being +a reigning beauty. Lingua Four was tall even +for a Mercurian. Already she scaled seven +dergs, or in Earth terms, fourteen feet and +was beginning to show evidences of a fifth +head. Five heads were rarely found on +females and Probos Five was justly proud +of his good fortune. In all Mercury at the +present time, he knew of but two females +possessing five heads and soon Lingua Four +would be the third of her sex to be thus +endowed.</p> + +<p>Yes, thought Probos Five, a woman +to be proud of; for today after three vargs +of marriage the memory of her trim trunk +with four pairs of eyes laughing mischievously, +filled his five brains with flame. Slim +as a birch she stood in his memory, and +eight eyes whispered lovers' thoughts across +space and time.</p> + +<p>Probos Five recalled his five minds from +their nostalgic reverie and gazed at the contour +of the Earth that was rushing up to +meet him. White, blazing white reflecting +the rays of the midnight sun covered the +region as far as the eye could reach.</p> + +<p>"Good," thought Probos Five, "the Polar +regions. That means the end will come +quickly. One or two seconds at the most of +that bitter cold would be enough."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">Turning</span> away from the windows Probos +Five let his thoughts return to Lingua +Four, to Probos Two, his son, and his home +on the first planet from the sun. Ah, that +is the place to live, thought Probos, the +temperature an unchanging 327°; just comfortably +warm, where one could enjoy a +life of warmth and ease. Too bad that he +would not live to see it again. Thirty vargs, +he reflected, is such a short time. With luck, +perhaps he may have lived to see a hundred +vargs slip by. And perhaps in time he may +have added three more heads and five dergs +in length to his towering trunk.</p> + +<p>He thought of Probos Two and wondered +idly if his son would also visit the barbarian +worlds to collect data for Lingua Four.</p> + +<p>He wished that he could have seen more +of Probos Two. There's an up-and-coming +lad, he thought, not quite two vargs old and +two heads already. Yes, indeed, he's quite a +boy, Probos Five remembered proudly; maybe +his mother will keep him at home instead +of running him all over the universe to get +material for her committees.</p> + +<p>He wished that Lingua Four would settle +down and be content as a housewife, but he +doubted that she would. Social ambition was +boring like a termite under her bark.</p> + +<p>Lingua Four was determined to be the +first lady of Arbor, the capital city of Mercury. +To this end Lingua Four had labored +unceasingly. She was president of half the +women's clubs of Arbor. She could always +be depended upon to furnish the best in new +and diverting subjects.</p> + +<p>She headed almost all committees for aid +or research on any type of problem. It was +owing to Lingua Four being president of +the Committee for Undernourished Arborians +that Probos Five was making this ill-starred +trip. His purpose was to capture a +few of the upright, divided trunk animals +that inhabited the third planet.</p> + +<p>They were to be transported to Mercury +and given over to scientific study as to their +edible qualities. If it were found that the +divided trunk creatures were fit for Mercurian +consumption, the problem of undernourishment +would no longer exist since the +supply of divided trunks was seemingly inexhaustible. +Mercurians had made expeditions +to the third planet before and every +report concluded with—"Divided trunk +creatures increasing in number."</p> + +<p>Privately Probos Five doubted the possibility +of using the divided trunks for food, +since the last expedition once again reported +a complete lack of captives due to the frail +and tenuous bodies of the divided trunks. +Then, too, transportation and preservation +posed a tremendous problem, not to mention +the difficulty of trying to eat something +that might vaporize on your fork. But then +these questions may never arise, he decided, +for of all the reports perused by Probos +Five not one expedition had succeeded in +bringing a divided trunk to Mercury.</p> + +<p>All reports were read to the last letter by +Probos Five before assembling equipment +for his own trip. In the reports he had noted +many of the difficulties of the earlier missions. +Planet Three was impossible for a +Mercurian without a heated space suit. The +temperature of Planet Three was so low that +it would literally freeze a Mercurian stiff in +a matter of seconds.</p> + +<p>The casualties of the early expeditions +had been numerous. Many Mercurians had +succumbed to the bitter cold due to flaws +in space suits and other accidents. A break +in the suit meant instant death. The victims +of such mishaps were invariably buried in +the isolated, sparsely inhabited Polar regions +to avoid alarming the divided trunk creatures.</p> + +<p>It was strange, mused Probos Five, that +the divided trunks were seemingly unable +to bear the slightest increase in temperature. +Their bodies disintegrated upon contact +with a Mercurian. Some were roped and +dragged from a distance up to the doors of +the space ships, but no inhabitant of Planet +Three had been closer to Mercury than the +air lock of the space cruisers. As the divided +trunk people were dragged into the air lock, +warm air from the ship would be pumped +into the lock to dispel the frigid air of +Planet Three. As the warmth of Mercury +enveloped the divided trunks they became +quite red, began to melt and finally dissolved +into a gaseous state, leaving a small +pile of ashes and a disagreeable odor in the +air lock that sometimes lingered for days.</p> + +<p>Probos Five believed he had the solution +for these obstacles in the path of scientific +study of the divided trunks. He had decided +to use guile in place of strength. For this +reason he had come alone and in a small +space runabout to put his solution to the +test. But his solution now could never be +tried, he remembered morosely.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">In the</span> aft compartment Probos Five had +constructed a refrigeration plant. By +maintaining a constant degree of frigidity +he hoped to deliver a pair of each species of +divided trunks to Mercury. He hoped especially +to capture a complete set and perhaps +a few over to make up for breakage and +losses. As to what form of sustenance the +divided trunks were accustomed to, he had +no idea whatsoever. He had intended to +bring samples of earth, vegetation and anything +else that may have suggested a source +of food for the divided trunks.</p> + +<p>The thought too had occurred to him that +possibly the divided trunk creatures ate one +another. On the possibility of this Probos +Five had determined to capture three black +ones, three white ones, three yellows, three +browns and three reds, and three of any +other color that he might find. He rather +doubted that more colors or combination +of colors existed. All previous expedition +reports had mentioned only the five +colors. However, Probos Five had determined +to keep several eyes open on the off +chance that he might find a new and different +species.</p> + +<p>His refrigerator was modeled along the +architectural lines of the dens of the divided +trunks. The main room of the refrigerator +opened to the outside of the ship by means +of a small air lock. A Mercurian size air +lock was not needed for the divided trunks, +as few had been found to be much over +three dergs in height.</p> + +<p>Winches and cables to pull the divided +trunks into the refrigerator were installed +in the refrigerator room itself to avoid +burning the divided trunks with hot cables +from other parts of the ship.</p> + +<p>In addition, Probos Five had cunningly +devised a refrigerated trap. This too was +designed to simulate the caves of the divided +trunk creatures but was smaller. It was constructed +with entrances readily seen and +exits well hidden. Probos Five had expected +great things of his trap. He had conceived +the idea after reading the report of a Mercurian +expedition that explored the dens of +the divided trunks at some place marked +"Coney Island." According to the reports +the divided trunks showed no hesitancy in +entering these types of dens. In fact, the +writer of the report gave it as his opinion +that the divided ones perhaps played games +in these types of caves. It also mentioned +that some of the dens were equipped with +flat shiny surfaces that cast reflections or +images. Probos Five had incorporated the +image-making surfaces into his trap design. +A pity that all this effort must be wasted, +thought Probos as he once more turned to +the observation ports to check his remaining +distance from the planet's surface. Seeing +that his time was short, Probos Five turned +all five faces forward in the Mercurian gesture +of disdain for death. A moment later +came the shock.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">A week</span> later the proprietor of a novelty +shop in Fairbanks watched two natives with +their dog team pulling something loglike +through the snow toward the trading post. +Turning to a customer he remarked,</p> + +<p>"Here comes Ketch and Ah Koo dragging +in another Totem Pole. Guess that Ketch +must be the biggest liar ever produced by +the Eskimos. He tried to tell me that Totem +Poles fall from the sky. Says he can always +find one if he sees it fall because it's so hot +it melts the snow around it. Personally I +think he should be elected president of the +Liars' Club, but I'll buy the Totem Pole +anyway. Those pesky tourists always whittle +a chunk out of my Totem Pole for a +souvenir.</p> + +<p>"I'm glad he's bringing me another one," +the storekeeper concluded, "the one he sold +me last year is about whittled away."</p> + +<div class="trn"><b>Transcriber's Note:</b> +This etext was produced from <i>Planet Stories</i> January 1954. +Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. +copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and +typographical errors have been corrected without note.</div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Solar Stiff, by Chas. A. 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Stopher + +Release Date: April 30, 2009 [EBook #28646] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SOLAR STIFF *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + SOLAR STIFF + + By + + CHAS. A. STOPHER + + + _Totem poles are a dime a dozen north + of 63 deg. ... but only Ketch, the lying + Eskimo, vowed they dropped out of + frigid northern skies._ + + +Probos Five gazed at the white expanse ahead, trying to determine where +his ship would crash. Something was haywire in the fuel system of his +Interstar Runabout. He was losing altitude fast, so fast that all five +pairs of his eyes couldn't focus on a place to land. + +Five pairs of arms, each pair about three feet apart on the loglike +body, pushed buttons and rotated controls frantically, but to no avail. +In a few short minutes it would all be over for Probos Five. Even if by +some miracle he remained unhurt after crashing, he would die shortly +thereafter. The frigid climatic conditions of the third planet were +deadly to a Mercurian. He thought once of donning his space suit but +decided against it. That would merely prolong the agony. From Planet +Three, when one has a smashed space cruiser, there is no return. Probos +Five knew that death was riding with him in the helpless ship. The +situation did not unnecessarily dismay him; Mercurians are philosophers. + +Probos Five ceased to manipulate the unresponding controls. Stretching +his trunklike torso to its full twenty feet, four heads gazed through +observation ports at the four points of the compass while the remaining +head desultorily watched the instrument panel. + +Since die he must, Probos Five would meet his end stoically, and five +pairs of stumpy arms folded over five chests in a coordinated gesture of +resignation. + +Probos Five thought fleetingly of his wife Lingua Four and remembered +with some annoyance that she was the author of his present predicament. +A social climber, Probos Five thought to himself, but aside from that a +good wife and mother in addition to being a reigning beauty. Lingua Four +was tall even for a Mercurian. Already she scaled seven dergs, or in +Earth terms, fourteen feet and was beginning to show evidences of a +fifth head. Five heads were rarely found on females and Probos Five was +justly proud of his good fortune. In all Mercury at the present time, he +knew of but two females possessing five heads and soon Lingua Four would +be the third of her sex to be thus endowed. + +Yes, thought Probos Five, a woman to be proud of; for today after three +vargs of marriage the memory of her trim trunk with four pairs of eyes +laughing mischievously, filled his five brains with flame. Slim as a +birch she stood in his memory, and eight eyes whispered lovers' thoughts +across space and time. + +Probos Five recalled his five minds from their nostalgic reverie and +gazed at the contour of the Earth that was rushing up to meet him. +White, blazing white reflecting the rays of the midnight sun covered the +region as far as the eye could reach. + +"Good," thought Probos Five, "the Polar regions. That means the end will +come quickly. One or two seconds at the most of that bitter cold would +be enough." + + * * * * * + +Turning away from the windows Probos Five let his thoughts return to +Lingua Four, to Probos Two, his son, and his home on the first planet +from the sun. Ah, that is the place to live, thought Probos, the +temperature an unchanging 327 deg.; just comfortably warm, where one could +enjoy a life of warmth and ease. Too bad that he would not live to see +it again. Thirty vargs, he reflected, is such a short time. With luck, +perhaps he may have lived to see a hundred vargs slip by. And perhaps in +time he may have added three more heads and five dergs in length to his +towering trunk. + +He thought of Probos Two and wondered idly if his son would also visit +the barbarian worlds to collect data for Lingua Four. + +He wished that he could have seen more of Probos Two. There's an +up-and-coming lad, he thought, not quite two vargs old and two heads +already. Yes, indeed, he's quite a boy, Probos Five remembered proudly; +maybe his mother will keep him at home instead of running him all over +the universe to get material for her committees. + +He wished that Lingua Four would settle down and be content as a +housewife, but he doubted that she would. Social ambition was boring +like a termite under her bark. + +Lingua Four was determined to be the first lady of Arbor, the capital +city of Mercury. To this end Lingua Four had labored unceasingly. She +was president of half the women's clubs of Arbor. She could always be +depended upon to furnish the best in new and diverting subjects. + +She headed almost all committees for aid or research on any type of +problem. It was owing to Lingua Four being president of the Committee +for Undernourished Arborians that Probos Five was making this +ill-starred trip. His purpose was to capture a few of the upright, +divided trunk animals that inhabited the third planet. + +They were to be transported to Mercury and given over to scientific +study as to their edible qualities. If it were found that the divided +trunk creatures were fit for Mercurian consumption, the problem of +undernourishment would no longer exist since the supply of divided +trunks was seemingly inexhaustible. Mercurians had made expeditions to +the third planet before and every report concluded with--"Divided trunk +creatures increasing in number." + +Privately Probos Five doubted the possibility of using the divided +trunks for food, since the last expedition once again reported a +complete lack of captives due to the frail and tenuous bodies of the +divided trunks. Then, too, transportation and preservation posed a +tremendous problem, not to mention the difficulty of trying to eat +something that might vaporize on your fork. But then these questions may +never arise, he decided, for of all the reports perused by Probos Five +not one expedition had succeeded in bringing a divided trunk to Mercury. + +All reports were read to the last letter by Probos Five before +assembling equipment for his own trip. In the reports he had noted many +of the difficulties of the earlier missions. Planet Three was impossible +for a Mercurian without a heated space suit. The temperature of Planet +Three was so low that it would literally freeze a Mercurian stiff in a +matter of seconds. + +The casualties of the early expeditions had been numerous. Many +Mercurians had succumbed to the bitter cold due to flaws in space suits +and other accidents. A break in the suit meant instant death. The +victims of such mishaps were invariably buried in the isolated, sparsely +inhabited Polar regions to avoid alarming the divided trunk creatures. + +It was strange, mused Probos Five, that the divided trunks were +seemingly unable to bear the slightest increase in temperature. Their +bodies disintegrated upon contact with a Mercurian. Some were roped and +dragged from a distance up to the doors of the space ships, but no +inhabitant of Planet Three had been closer to Mercury than the air lock +of the space cruisers. As the divided trunk people were dragged into the +air lock, warm air from the ship would be pumped into the lock to dispel +the frigid air of Planet Three. As the warmth of Mercury enveloped the +divided trunks they became quite red, began to melt and finally +dissolved into a gaseous state, leaving a small pile of ashes and a +disagreeable odor in the air lock that sometimes lingered for days. + +Probos Five believed he had the solution for these obstacles in the path +of scientific study of the divided trunks. He had decided to use guile +in place of strength. For this reason he had come alone and in a small +space runabout to put his solution to the test. But his solution now +could never be tried, he remembered morosely. + + * * * * * + +In the aft compartment Probos Five had constructed a refrigeration +plant. By maintaining a constant degree of frigidity he hoped to deliver +a pair of each species of divided trunks to Mercury. He hoped especially +to capture a complete set and perhaps a few over to make up for breakage +and losses. As to what form of sustenance the divided trunks were +accustomed to, he had no idea whatsoever. He had intended to bring +samples of earth, vegetation and anything else that may have suggested a +source of food for the divided trunks. + +The thought too had occurred to him that possibly the divided trunk +creatures ate one another. On the possibility of this Probos Five had +determined to capture three black ones, three white ones, three yellows, +three browns and three reds, and three of any other color that he might +find. He rather doubted that more colors or combination of colors +existed. All previous expedition reports had mentioned only the five +colors. However, Probos Five had determined to keep several eyes open on +the off chance that he might find a new and different species. + +His refrigerator was modeled along the architectural lines of the dens +of the divided trunks. The main room of the refrigerator opened to the +outside of the ship by means of a small air lock. A Mercurian size air +lock was not needed for the divided trunks, as few had been found to be +much over three dergs in height. + +Winches and cables to pull the divided trunks into the refrigerator were +installed in the refrigerator room itself to avoid burning the divided +trunks with hot cables from other parts of the ship. + +In addition, Probos Five had cunningly devised a refrigerated trap. This +too was designed to simulate the caves of the divided trunk creatures +but was smaller. It was constructed with entrances readily seen and +exits well hidden. Probos Five had expected great things of his trap. He +had conceived the idea after reading the report of a Mercurian +expedition that explored the dens of the divided trunks at some place +marked "Coney Island." According to the reports the divided trunks +showed no hesitancy in entering these types of dens. In fact, the writer +of the report gave it as his opinion that the divided ones perhaps +played games in these types of caves. It also mentioned that some of the +dens were equipped with flat shiny surfaces that cast reflections or +images. Probos Five had incorporated the image-making surfaces into his +trap design. A pity that all this effort must be wasted, thought Probos +as he once more turned to the observation ports to check his remaining +distance from the planet's surface. Seeing that his time was short, +Probos Five turned all five faces forward in the Mercurian gesture of +disdain for death. A moment later came the shock. + + * * * * * + +A week later the proprietor of a novelty shop in Fairbanks watched two +natives with their dog team pulling something loglike through the snow +toward the trading post. Turning to a customer he remarked, + +"Here comes Ketch and Ah Koo dragging in another Totem Pole. Guess that +Ketch must be the biggest liar ever produced by the Eskimos. He tried to +tell me that Totem Poles fall from the sky. Says he can always find one +if he sees it fall because it's so hot it melts the snow around it. +Personally I think he should be elected president of the Liars' Club, +but I'll buy the Totem Pole anyway. Those pesky tourists always whittle +a chunk out of my Totem Pole for a souvenir. + +"I'm glad he's bringing me another one," the storekeeper concluded, "the +one he sold me last year is about whittled away." + + + + +Transcriber's Note: + + This etext was produced from _Planet Stories_ January 1954. + Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. + copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and + typographical errors have been corrected without note. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Solar Stiff, by Chas. A. 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