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diff --git a/28646.txt b/28646.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0fdb45e --- /dev/null +++ b/28646.txt @@ -0,0 +1,624 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Solar Stiff, by Chas. A. Stopher + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Solar Stiff + +Author: Chas. A. Stopher + +Release Date: April 30, 2009 [EBook #28646] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SOLAR STIFF *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + SOLAR STIFF + + By + + CHAS. A. STOPHER + + + _Totem poles are a dime a dozen north + of 63 deg. ... but only Ketch, the lying + Eskimo, vowed they dropped out of + frigid northern skies._ + + +Probos Five gazed at the white expanse ahead, trying to determine where +his ship would crash. Something was haywire in the fuel system of his +Interstar Runabout. He was losing altitude fast, so fast that all five +pairs of his eyes couldn't focus on a place to land. + +Five pairs of arms, each pair about three feet apart on the loglike +body, pushed buttons and rotated controls frantically, but to no avail. +In a few short minutes it would all be over for Probos Five. Even if by +some miracle he remained unhurt after crashing, he would die shortly +thereafter. The frigid climatic conditions of the third planet were +deadly to a Mercurian. He thought once of donning his space suit but +decided against it. That would merely prolong the agony. From Planet +Three, when one has a smashed space cruiser, there is no return. Probos +Five knew that death was riding with him in the helpless ship. The +situation did not unnecessarily dismay him; Mercurians are philosophers. + +Probos Five ceased to manipulate the unresponding controls. Stretching +his trunklike torso to its full twenty feet, four heads gazed through +observation ports at the four points of the compass while the remaining +head desultorily watched the instrument panel. + +Since die he must, Probos Five would meet his end stoically, and five +pairs of stumpy arms folded over five chests in a coordinated gesture of +resignation. + +Probos Five thought fleetingly of his wife Lingua Four and remembered +with some annoyance that she was the author of his present predicament. +A social climber, Probos Five thought to himself, but aside from that a +good wife and mother in addition to being a reigning beauty. Lingua Four +was tall even for a Mercurian. Already she scaled seven dergs, or in +Earth terms, fourteen feet and was beginning to show evidences of a +fifth head. Five heads were rarely found on females and Probos Five was +justly proud of his good fortune. In all Mercury at the present time, he +knew of but two females possessing five heads and soon Lingua Four would +be the third of her sex to be thus endowed. + +Yes, thought Probos Five, a woman to be proud of; for today after three +vargs of marriage the memory of her trim trunk with four pairs of eyes +laughing mischievously, filled his five brains with flame. Slim as a +birch she stood in his memory, and eight eyes whispered lovers' thoughts +across space and time. + +Probos Five recalled his five minds from their nostalgic reverie and +gazed at the contour of the Earth that was rushing up to meet him. +White, blazing white reflecting the rays of the midnight sun covered the +region as far as the eye could reach. + +"Good," thought Probos Five, "the Polar regions. That means the end will +come quickly. One or two seconds at the most of that bitter cold would +be enough." + + * * * * * + +Turning away from the windows Probos Five let his thoughts return to +Lingua Four, to Probos Two, his son, and his home on the first planet +from the sun. Ah, that is the place to live, thought Probos, the +temperature an unchanging 327 deg.; just comfortably warm, where one could +enjoy a life of warmth and ease. Too bad that he would not live to see +it again. Thirty vargs, he reflected, is such a short time. With luck, +perhaps he may have lived to see a hundred vargs slip by. And perhaps in +time he may have added three more heads and five dergs in length to his +towering trunk. + +He thought of Probos Two and wondered idly if his son would also visit +the barbarian worlds to collect data for Lingua Four. + +He wished that he could have seen more of Probos Two. There's an +up-and-coming lad, he thought, not quite two vargs old and two heads +already. Yes, indeed, he's quite a boy, Probos Five remembered proudly; +maybe his mother will keep him at home instead of running him all over +the universe to get material for her committees. + +He wished that Lingua Four would settle down and be content as a +housewife, but he doubted that she would. Social ambition was boring +like a termite under her bark. + +Lingua Four was determined to be the first lady of Arbor, the capital +city of Mercury. To this end Lingua Four had labored unceasingly. She +was president of half the women's clubs of Arbor. She could always be +depended upon to furnish the best in new and diverting subjects. + +She headed almost all committees for aid or research on any type of +problem. It was owing to Lingua Four being president of the Committee +for Undernourished Arborians that Probos Five was making this +ill-starred trip. His purpose was to capture a few of the upright, +divided trunk animals that inhabited the third planet. + +They were to be transported to Mercury and given over to scientific +study as to their edible qualities. If it were found that the divided +trunk creatures were fit for Mercurian consumption, the problem of +undernourishment would no longer exist since the supply of divided +trunks was seemingly inexhaustible. Mercurians had made expeditions to +the third planet before and every report concluded with--"Divided trunk +creatures increasing in number." + +Privately Probos Five doubted the possibility of using the divided +trunks for food, since the last expedition once again reported a +complete lack of captives due to the frail and tenuous bodies of the +divided trunks. Then, too, transportation and preservation posed a +tremendous problem, not to mention the difficulty of trying to eat +something that might vaporize on your fork. But then these questions may +never arise, he decided, for of all the reports perused by Probos Five +not one expedition had succeeded in bringing a divided trunk to Mercury. + +All reports were read to the last letter by Probos Five before +assembling equipment for his own trip. In the reports he had noted many +of the difficulties of the earlier missions. Planet Three was impossible +for a Mercurian without a heated space suit. The temperature of Planet +Three was so low that it would literally freeze a Mercurian stiff in a +matter of seconds. + +The casualties of the early expeditions had been numerous. Many +Mercurians had succumbed to the bitter cold due to flaws in space suits +and other accidents. A break in the suit meant instant death. The +victims of such mishaps were invariably buried in the isolated, sparsely +inhabited Polar regions to avoid alarming the divided trunk creatures. + +It was strange, mused Probos Five, that the divided trunks were +seemingly unable to bear the slightest increase in temperature. Their +bodies disintegrated upon contact with a Mercurian. Some were roped and +dragged from a distance up to the doors of the space ships, but no +inhabitant of Planet Three had been closer to Mercury than the air lock +of the space cruisers. As the divided trunk people were dragged into the +air lock, warm air from the ship would be pumped into the lock to dispel +the frigid air of Planet Three. As the warmth of Mercury enveloped the +divided trunks they became quite red, began to melt and finally +dissolved into a gaseous state, leaving a small pile of ashes and a +disagreeable odor in the air lock that sometimes lingered for days. + +Probos Five believed he had the solution for these obstacles in the path +of scientific study of the divided trunks. He had decided to use guile +in place of strength. For this reason he had come alone and in a small +space runabout to put his solution to the test. But his solution now +could never be tried, he remembered morosely. + + * * * * * + +In the aft compartment Probos Five had constructed a refrigeration +plant. By maintaining a constant degree of frigidity he hoped to deliver +a pair of each species of divided trunks to Mercury. He hoped especially +to capture a complete set and perhaps a few over to make up for breakage +and losses. As to what form of sustenance the divided trunks were +accustomed to, he had no idea whatsoever. He had intended to bring +samples of earth, vegetation and anything else that may have suggested a +source of food for the divided trunks. + +The thought too had occurred to him that possibly the divided trunk +creatures ate one another. On the possibility of this Probos Five had +determined to capture three black ones, three white ones, three yellows, +three browns and three reds, and three of any other color that he might +find. He rather doubted that more colors or combination of colors +existed. All previous expedition reports had mentioned only the five +colors. However, Probos Five had determined to keep several eyes open on +the off chance that he might find a new and different species. + +His refrigerator was modeled along the architectural lines of the dens +of the divided trunks. The main room of the refrigerator opened to the +outside of the ship by means of a small air lock. A Mercurian size air +lock was not needed for the divided trunks, as few had been found to be +much over three dergs in height. + +Winches and cables to pull the divided trunks into the refrigerator were +installed in the refrigerator room itself to avoid burning the divided +trunks with hot cables from other parts of the ship. + +In addition, Probos Five had cunningly devised a refrigerated trap. This +too was designed to simulate the caves of the divided trunk creatures +but was smaller. It was constructed with entrances readily seen and +exits well hidden. Probos Five had expected great things of his trap. He +had conceived the idea after reading the report of a Mercurian +expedition that explored the dens of the divided trunks at some place +marked "Coney Island." According to the reports the divided trunks +showed no hesitancy in entering these types of dens. In fact, the writer +of the report gave it as his opinion that the divided ones perhaps +played games in these types of caves. It also mentioned that some of the +dens were equipped with flat shiny surfaces that cast reflections or +images. Probos Five had incorporated the image-making surfaces into his +trap design. A pity that all this effort must be wasted, thought Probos +as he once more turned to the observation ports to check his remaining +distance from the planet's surface. Seeing that his time was short, +Probos Five turned all five faces forward in the Mercurian gesture of +disdain for death. A moment later came the shock. + + * * * * * + +A week later the proprietor of a novelty shop in Fairbanks watched two +natives with their dog team pulling something loglike through the snow +toward the trading post. Turning to a customer he remarked, + +"Here comes Ketch and Ah Koo dragging in another Totem Pole. Guess that +Ketch must be the biggest liar ever produced by the Eskimos. He tried to +tell me that Totem Poles fall from the sky. Says he can always find one +if he sees it fall because it's so hot it melts the snow around it. +Personally I think he should be elected president of the Liars' Club, +but I'll buy the Totem Pole anyway. Those pesky tourists always whittle +a chunk out of my Totem Pole for a souvenir. + +"I'm glad he's bringing me another one," the storekeeper concluded, "the +one he sold me last year is about whittled away." + + + + +Transcriber's Note: + + This etext was produced from _Planet Stories_ January 1954. + Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. + copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and + typographical errors have been corrected without note. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Solar Stiff, by Chas. A. 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