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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Literary Tours in The Highlands and Islands
+of Scotland, by Daniel Turner Holmes
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Literary Tours in The Highlands and Islands of Scotland
+
+Author: Daniel Turner Holmes
+
+Release Date: June 20, 2009 [EBook #29178]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LITERARY TOURS ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Susan Skinner and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+_LITERARY TOURS_
+
+
+
+
+ Literary Tours in
+ The Highlands and
+ Islands of Scotland
+
+ By D. T. Holmes, B.A.
+
+
+ "Gaudia, discursus, nostri est farrago libelli"
+ --_Juvenal_, i. 74
+
+
+ _PAISLEY: ALEXANDER GARDNER_
+ Publisher by Appointment to the late Queen Victoria
+ 1909
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ _To_
+ _James Coats, Junr., Esq.,_
+ _Ferguslie House, Paisley._
+
+
+ _You, but for whom I'd never been
+ Much further north than Aberdeen;
+ Whose mandate sent my willing feet
+ To realms of heather, broom, and peat:
+ Accept this record of my tours
+ As something less my own than yours._
+
+ _D. T. HOLMES._
+
+
+
+
+_PREFACE._
+
+
+ _White stands the long Kilpatrick row
+ Of hills with deep and dazzling snow,
+ And eastward, in a glimmering haze,
+ Stretch to the Forth the Campsie Braes._
+
+ _But see! beyond the Clyde, a stain
+ Of smoke that runs across the plain,
+ And flecks for miles the vivid gleam:
+ It is the tireless steed of steam._
+
+ _An old acquaintance! Ben and Strath
+ Daily behold his thunderous path,
+ That ceases not, until he feels
+ The breeze of Mallaig cool his wheels._
+
+ _And Memory, fondly gazing back
+ On many a journey by that track
+ Of splendour, would, at home, retrace
+ The charms and lore of every place;_
+
+ _Yea, pass, in thought, to storied Skye,
+ Where all the glens in glamour lie;
+ And, lightly scorning gust and spray,
+ Leap o'er the Minch to Stornoway._
+
+ _And many a northern beach besides,
+ Splashed by the foam of racing tides,
+ Rises in thought: from here to there,
+ Let Fancy's coinage pay the fare,--_
+
+ _Fancy, that wafts us o'er the main
+ To utmost Thule and home again,
+ Through mingled din of sea and sky,
+ Even in the twinkling of an eye._
+
+ _D. T. H._
+
+ _Ingleholm, Bridge of Weir,
+ 16th January, 1909._
+
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+ PAGE
+
+CHAPTER I.--INTRODUCTORY, 9
+
+ Village libraries--Difficulties of travel--Literary Societies in
+ the Highlands--Gaelic books--Happiness and geniality of
+ natives--Oban to Gairloch--Winter sailing--A crofting
+ village--Horrors of the Minch--Notes on Lewis--Highland
+ doctors--Hotels and anglers--Recent books--Military--Moray
+ Firth--Among the miners--Handloom weaving--Professor Blackie and
+ the Highlands.
+
+CHAPTER II.--MUSIC, SPEECHES, AND LITERATURE, 60
+
+ Scotch a reading nation--Hardships of students in old
+ days--Homer in Scalloway--When education ends--Objects of
+ chapter--Music--M.P.'s--Rural depopulation--Its
+ causes--Emigration--Village halls--The moon--A lecture in
+ Islay--Mental and material wealth--Real greatness--A Highland
+ laird on literature--Varieties of chairmen--"Coming to the
+ point"--Moral obligation--Compliment to Paisley--Oratory at
+ Salen--Lecture in a dungeon--Surprises--A visit to the
+ Borders--Tarbolton--Scotch language--Choice books--The
+ essayists--A Banff theory--Goldsmith in Gaelic--_Biblia
+ abiblia_--Favourites for the road--Horace--Shakespeare's
+ Sonnets--Xenophon--French literature and journalism--Romance and
+ Augustanism--Victorian writers--Celt and Saxon.
+
+CHAPTER III.--ECCLESIASTICAL, 134
+
+ Sectarian feeling--Typical anecdotes--Music and
+ religion--Ethical teaching in schools--The Moderates--A savoury
+ book--The Sabbath--"The Men of Skye"--The auldest kirk--The
+ Episcopal Church--An interlude of metre--The Christian
+ Brethren--Drimnin in Morven--Craignish--A model
+ minister--Ministerial trials in olden times--An artful
+ dodger--Some anecdotes from Gigha--Growing popularity of Ruskin.
+
+CHAPTER IV.--EDUCATIONAL, 180
+
+ Some Insular Dominies--Education Act of 1872--Education in the
+ Highlands--Feeding the hungry--Parish Council
+ boarders--Dwindling attendances--Arnisdale--Golspie Technical
+ School--On the Sidlaws--Some surprises--Arran schools--Science
+ and literature--Study of Scott--The old classical dominie--Vogue
+ of Latin in former times--Teachers and
+ examinations--Howlers--Competing subjects.
+
+CHAPTER V.--A TRIP TO SHETLAND, 217
+
+ Aberdeen--En route--Lerwick--Past and present saints--Some notes
+ on the islands--A Shetland poet--A visit to Bressay--From
+ Lerwick to Sandwick--Quarff--"That holy man,
+ Noah"--Fladibister--Cunningsburgh--"Keeping off"--The indignant
+ elder--Torquil Halcrow--Philology--A Sandwick gentleman--Local
+ tales--Foulah and Fair Isle--The fishing season.
+
+CHAPTER VI.--COMMERCIAL TRAVELLERS AND THEIR ANECDOTES, 255
+
+ Trials of commercials--The two-est-faced knave--Mary, the maid
+ of the inn--Anecdotes of the smoking-room: Sonnet to
+ Raleigh--Peelin's below the tree--"She's away!"--A mean
+ house--One of the director's wives--Temperance hotels--A
+ memorial window--The blasted heath--The day for it--The
+ converted drummer--A circular ticket--A compound
+ possessive--Sixteen medals--"She's auld, and she's thin, and
+ she'll keep"--The will o' the dead--Sorry for London--"Raither
+ unceevil"--An unwelcome recitation--A word in season--A Nairn
+ critic--A grand day for it--A pro-Boer--"Falls of Bruar, only,
+ please!"--A bad case of nerves.
+
+CHAPTER VII.--LEGENDS AND LITERARY NOTABILIA, 278
+
+ Gairloch folk-lore: Prince Olaf and his bride--A laird who had
+ seen a fairy--Tales from Loch Broom: The dance of death--The
+ Kildonan midwife--The magic herring--Taisch--Antiquities of
+ Dunvegan--Miscellaneous terrors--St. Kilda--Lady
+ Grange--Pierless Tiree--Lochbuie in Mull--Inveraray Castle--The
+ sacred isle--Appin--Macdonald's gratitude--Notes on the
+ Trossachs--Lochfyneside: Macivors, Macvicars, and
+ Macallisters--Red Hector--Macphail of Colonsay--Tales from
+ Speyside: Tom Eunan!--Shaws and Grants--The wishing well--Ossian
+ and Macpherson--At the foot o' Bennachie--Harlaw--Lochaber
+ reivers--Reay and Twickenham--Rob Donn--Rev. Mr. Mill of
+ Dunrossness.
+
+CHAPTER VIII.--METRICAL AND SUPPLEMENTARY, 340
+
+ Arrival of the Mail-train at a Highland Station--Defoe, the
+ Father of Journalism--A Village Toper--A Reverend
+ Hellenist--Antigone--Shadows of the Manse--"My Heart's in the
+ Highlands"--Saddell, Kintyre--Springtime in Perthshire--Dr.
+ George Macdonald's Creed--Abbotsford--Carlyle--Shelley--Picture
+ in an Inn--Rain-storm at Loch Awe--Kinlochewe--General
+ Wade--Sound of Raasay in December--Les Neiges d' Antan--The
+ Islands of the Ness--American Tourist Loquitur--The Miners--In a
+ Country Graveyard--No Place like Home.
+
+INDEX, 369
+
+
+
+
+LITERARY TOURING.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+INTRODUCTORY.
+
+ Village libraries--Difficulties of travel--Literary Societies in
+ the Highlands--Gaelic books--Happiness and geniality of
+ natives--Oban to Gairloch--Winter sailing--A crofting
+ village--Horrors of the Minch--Notes on Lewis--Highland
+ doctors--Hotels and anglers--Recent books--Military--Moray
+ Firth--Among the miners--Handloom weaving--Professor Blackie and
+ the Highlands.
+
+
+VILLAGE LIBRARIES.
+
+At pretty frequent intervals, during the last four years, I have sallied
+forth from my home in Renfrewshire, north, south, east, and west, to
+some of the most remote and isolated nooks of insular and provincial
+Scotland, on a mission so uncommon as to justify the writing of a book
+of impressions and experiences. The Highlands and Islands of Scotland
+are, of course, visited every summer by a great host of excursionists,
+who go thither to fish, play golf, lounge, climb hills, and otherwise
+picturesquely disport themselves. A few earnest devotees of science
+spend their holidays botanising in the glens, scanning the geological
+strata, looking for fossils, measuring the outlines of brochs and
+prehistoric forts, or collecting relics of Culdee churches. My journeys
+were undertaken for none of the objects named: they were entirely
+connected with _libraries_ and _lecturing_, and, being undertaken mainly
+in the months of winter and spring, they have given me the opportunity
+of noting a great many interesting particulars that the summer
+traveller, bent on recreation or science, cannot be expected to notice.
+
+_I do not think any finer gift could be given to a village community
+than a collection of useful and entertaining books._ The libraries with
+which my work was connected were sent, free of charge, to strath and
+glen, and nothing was asked in return, except that the volumes should be
+well housed and delivered to the people to read by some local librarian.
+You will find these libraries in all the townships of the Hebrides, from
+Ness in Lewis, down the long chain of islands, to Islay and Jura. About
+thirty of them are established in the Shetlands, and as many in the
+Orkneys. Scores of little villages in Aberdeen, Ross, Sutherland,
+Argyle, Bute, and Perth, have been gratuitously supplied with them. The
+same is true of many a weather-beaten, quaint, red-tiled little
+fishing-village along the shores of the Moray Firth. In the barracks of
+Fort-George, Inverness, and Dingwall, the soldiers can solace their
+leisure hours by delightful, patriotic, and instructive reading,
+furnished to them without money and without price. Even in quiet,
+pastoral Roxburghshire, at a spot near the birthplace of Dandie
+Dinmont, you will find one of these serviceable collections of books.
+
+It is a pleasure to me to be able to say that I have visited a great
+number of the districts mentioned, for the purpose of speaking to the
+people in a familiar and non-academic way on some of the books which
+have been presented to them. In this way I have spoken to about 40,000
+people, the majority of whom had never previously been present at a
+discourse on a literary topic. Most of them had, of course, been in the
+habit of attending religious services and election meetings: but neither
+of these is the very best preparation for a literary evening. Some of my
+experiences have been intensely amusing, and I do not think any lecturer
+has ever, as regards rough roads, inclement weather, and amazing votes
+of thanks, had quite the same joys and sorrows as I have come through. I
+have often laughed (good-naturedly, I hope) at what came under my
+notice, but I am not so conceited as to suppose that the hilarity was
+always on one side.
+
+
+DIFFICULTIES OF TRAVEL.
+
+It can very easily be seen that he who proposed to visit all the above
+districts would have some hard and continuous work in prospect. Even on
+the mainland of Scotland there are many villages of difficult access.
+The nearest railway station to Durness on Loch Eriboll is Lairg, sixty
+miles away. Gairloch in Ross-shire is thirty miles distant from the
+railway station of Achnasheen. In the great county of Aberdeen there are
+a good many villages that can only be reached by long and tiresome
+driving in a mail coach. At different parts of the Moray Firth little
+townships lie huddled at the foot of precipitous cliffs, and, at first
+sight, seem inaccessible except by sea. To one accustomed to the
+sumptuous equipment of the Clyde steamers, even the journey to the
+shrine of Hugh Miller at Cromarty is pleasant only in good weather: a
+wee, puffing, hard-wrought steam-launch takes a slant course of five
+miles from Invergordon to Cromarty pier, accomplishing the journey in
+forty-five minutes. The fare between the two piers is one shilling, and
+there is no extra charge for the use of the cabin, which is reached by a
+perpendicular and very slippery ladder, and would be better suited for
+philosophical reflection in a gale if the crew did not use it as a
+store-room for engine-grease and old oilskins. In the Outer Islands,
+Watt's machine is, of course, unknown, and many of the roads which
+imaginative cartographers have inserted in their maps, will perhaps be
+finished when the last trump is about to sound.
+
+Railway travelling, too, is attended with some inconveniences in winter.
+The Glasgow-Inverness train, for example, may, on the coldest night of
+the year, break down at Dalnaspidal; and in such a case the passengers
+will have to sit, entertained by howling blasts, till a fresh engine
+comes up from Blair Atholl. Such an experience was once mine, and I
+always think of it when I read the ninth ode of Horace's first book.
+Outside were the great snow-sheeted mountains, and the moon was gazing
+in blear-eyed compassion through a screen of haze. From end to end of
+the train resounded the rhythmic beat of cold-footed passengers striving
+to bring some warmth of blood to the toes.
+
+In Grantown-on-Spey, I got an uncommon surprise one February. There had
+been some snow in the Lowlands, but at Grantown the fall had been
+excessive, and the roads were encumbered. On arriving at the station,
+the travellers saw a sleigh waiting to convey them to the hotel. The
+conveyance suited the weather admirably, and the horses seemed to be
+enjoying the fun. No wheeled vehicles were to be seen: even the milkmen
+sleighed their commodity from door to door. "_If we had a brace of
+grand-dukes and a bomb or two, we could fancy ourselves in Russia_,"
+said the facetious hotel-porter. He asserted that it was well for the
+country when abundant snow came down early in the year. It seems that
+Grantown is apt to suffer from drought in a hot summer following on a
+rainless spring. A copious fall of snow early in the year is retained in
+the mountains, and ensures plenty of moisture during the months of heat.
+Moisture is needed in summer, for the population is trebled then, and
+most tourists require a little water, sometimes, to qualify their
+potations.
+
+It is evident from what I have said, that the pedantic and vexatious
+system adopted by Euclid in his Elements of Geometry could not be
+employed in arranging the chapters of this book. The stern
+consecutiveness of that immortal but unpopular author would be out of
+place in describing journeys which might have been taken in the reverse
+order without much difference in the results.
+
+
+LITERARY SOCIETIES IN THE HIGHLANDS.
+
+Winter with its long nights gives leisure to the remote glensmen and
+crofters. The distractions of the town are not there to take their minds
+away from study and meditation. Books may not be abundant, but what
+literature is available is eagerly fastened on and thoroughly digested.
+In the Lowlands we skip over our books and know nothing thoroughly. The
+Highlander, with his limited means and choice, is forced to peruse and
+re-peruse, even though he has nothing more lively than Boston's
+_Fourfold State_, or Hervey's _Meditations among the Tombs_. But he
+knows well what he has so often read, and is quite competent to discuss
+and criticise his little row of volumes. A few of the Highland townships
+have literary societies in which every variety of subject is debated:
+the meetings are usually opened with prayer, but not always closed in
+that way. There is a tiny clachan, some twenty miles distant from
+Ullapool, on the side of a hill, in view of the grotesque peaks of
+Suilven, which has a most flourishing literary society--with president,
+vice-president, rules, minutes, and committees. Not once, but twice a
+week does this society meet, and when the full moon is propitious for a
+clear journey home through the morasses, the debates are often unduly
+prolonged and the chairman's summing-up luxuriantly prolix. How many
+politicians of note in London have been raked fore and aft in that
+little schoolroom! What measures and enactments, plausible to the
+unthinking metropolitans, have been cut and slashed there, while the
+conscious moon, gleaming in at the window, strove vainly to disperse
+the loquacious throng! Listen to the chairman's modest remarks: "_I do
+not wish_," he says, "_to embarrass the Government, but_...." Unthinking
+Asquith, here is a man who does not wish to embarrass you; he could do
+it, but he is merciful! You may breathe freely, you and your Cabinet,
+for spite of your slips and blunders, the Ross-shire crofters will not
+turn round and rend you. They do not wish to embarrass the Government;
+but have a care: their eyes are on you, and forbearance has its limits.
+Think not because they live remote from train and telegraph, that you
+are immune from their censure. Far from it! Round the hill-side at a
+stated hour every day, in shine or shower, gust or calm, comes the
+mail-coach of King Edward VII., bringing its pile of letters and
+newspapers. I see the little throng of village politicians, eager-eyed,
+peruse the latest parliamentary news. There they get all the needed
+pabulum for the next political debate. If the answers to Mr. Galloway
+Weir have been shifty and evasive, it will go hard with the Government
+to-night in the little schoolroom, and the plaster will fall in showers
+of dust from the ceiling as the iniquities of our rulers are ruthlessly
+shown up. I should not like to feel the rough side of that chairman's
+tongue.
+
+A library of representative English works, presented to a remote
+provincial society like the one I speak of, is a centre of unspeakable
+entertainment and instruction. The _entertainment_, during the long
+nights of winter, when the natives gather round the ingle and someone
+reads aloud, is a very palpable addition to the joys of life. The
+_instruction_ is perhaps slower in coming, but is none the less sure.
+Only by comparison of books can their relative value as literature be
+determined. Bigotry and narrow-mindedness in literature and religion are
+almost always the result of ignorance. In the Highlands it is oftenest
+the local teacher who is the librarian, and the books are accommodated
+in the school. The teacher is thus able to make his instruction in
+literature vivid and interesting to his senior pupils; he can authorise
+a pupil to take a particular volume home and require an essay to be
+written on it within a given time; and he can, in school, read aloud
+typical passages of good prose to supplement the limited extracts of the
+class text-books. The books have been selected (i.) to form useful
+reading for adults; (ii.) to supply suitable pabulum for literary
+societies; (iii.) to aid the schemes of the Education Department in
+connection with what is called the "Supplementary Course of Instruction
+in English Literature." The selection of the books for the use of senior
+scholars has been, as a rule, easy enough. Dictionaries of the French
+and German languages, good atlases, and works of reference have, in most
+cases been included.[1]
+
+ [1] Let the southern reader remember that a boy born in a city
+ like Glasgow has, as respects opportunities of getting on,
+ infinitely better chances than a lad of equal ability born in a
+ Highland village. The crofter's son has no reading-room with
+ costly works of reference, scientific manuals, English
+ translations of Latin authors, etc., to go to when he is in need
+ of help. He begins the battle of life at a very serious
+ disadvantage, and often gives up the fight altogether. Anything
+ that tends to equalise the chances of town and country, from the
+ point of view of mental equipment, would do more general good to
+ Scotland, by bettering the available brain power, than any
+ half-dozen Acts of Parliament taken at random.
+
+
+GAELIC BOOKS.
+
+In selecting the books specially intended for the perusal of the older
+people, an attempt is made to meet the needs of the various localities.
+In the bi-lingual districts there is always a shelf of Gaelic books,
+such as the original texts of Norman Macleod's exquisite sermons,
+M'Rury's religious compilations, Macleod's clever poetry _The Lyre of
+the Grove_, Campbell's _Popular Tales of the West Highlands_, and Magnus
+Maclean's manuals of Celtic Literature. There being a distinct dearth of
+comely Celtic reading that the ordinary native can understand,
+arrangements have been made for the translation into Gaelic in several
+volumes by competent scholars, of extracts from Mr. Lang's _True Story
+Book_, and from other sources.
+
+The regrettable thing about Gaelic is its hopelessly bewildering
+spelling. The sounds are pleasing and melodious in a high degree, but
+they hide themselves behind most peculiar disguisements of print. Most
+people will admit, I think, that a language which spells Avon,
+_Amhuinn_, and Rory, _Ruaridh_, would benefit greatly by a visit from
+Pitman. The utility of sane phonetics was brought home to me very
+forcibly by a story I heard from a gentleman in the west of Skye. This
+gentleman is an excellent English scholar, can speak Gaelic but is
+unable to read it. He got a letter once from St. Kilda composed by an
+islander who spelt Gaelic by ear and not according to the awe-inspiring
+orthography of the dictionary. The gentleman, who could not have made
+out the letter had it been spelt correctly, was able to read it as it
+stood, without the slightest hesitation. If a more rational spelling
+were generally adopted, an immense number of Lowlanders who are
+interested in philology, would study the grand old tongue, were it only
+to understand the numberless place names of Celtic origin that occur in
+British geography.
+
+What I have said about Gaelic spelling explains the inability of a large
+percentage of the population to read a book printed in the native idiom.
+What is the use then, it may be asked, of translating the _True Story
+Book_? The answer is obvious to one who knows the Highlands. In the
+Outer Isles there are many old people who know no English and whose only
+literary solace comes from listening to others reading. At the evening
+_ceilidh_ a competent reader of Gaelic can usually be found. Then,
+again, we are likely to see, in the near future, a notable revival of
+interest in the old language, consequent on the efforts of the _Mod_,
+and on the recognition of Gaelic by the Department as a fit subject of
+study in the Highland schools. Such a revival, to be lasting in its
+effects, must be enforced and sustained by a constant supply of pure and
+interesting Gaelic books, both native and translated. Religious books
+there are in abundance, thanks to the zeal of the Protestant clergy.
+Needless to say, the compilations of the Dean of Lismore are as
+unintelligible to the modern Gael as Cynewulf is to a London cab-driver.
+I should like to see a round dozen of good English novels put into
+Gaelic by translators who knew the idiom thoroughly.
+
+The fervour displayed at Highland gatherings, admirable as it is from a
+sentimental point of view, is apt to grow cold at the prospect of
+laborious work to be done. It is not creditable that the great majority
+of Gaelic speakers are unable to read a page of Gaelic print. Nor is it
+creditable that those who can both read and speak, do so little for the
+interpretation of the literature. Blackie's books and translations are
+still among the best, and Blackie was a Lowlander, was born, indeed, in
+the Saltmarket of Glasgow. My frequent visits to the north and west have
+convinced me that another difficulty in the way of a possible resurgence
+of Gaelic is the lack of a recognised standard of colloquial speech. The
+language is split up into many dialects, each possessing its own special
+idioms and vocabulary. A Glasgow firm of printers not long ago conceived
+the idea of printing post-cards with Gaelic greetings: they found that
+every city Highlander they consulted had either in grammar or turn of
+phrase some special way of framing the sentences. "Grand Gaelic to-day!"
+is an exclamation sometimes heard at the door of a Highland church in
+town, and indicates that the minister who has officiated comes from the
+same strath as the person speaking.
+
+A moderate amount of encouragement to Gaelic is all that can reasonably
+be expected from the Government, seeing that the prime duty of the
+schoolmaster everywhere is to impart a sound knowledge of English.[2]
+
+ [2] In an editorial of June 6, 1908, the _Glasgow Herald_
+ excellently says:--"The first requisite for a Highlander is such
+ a knowledge of English as will open up to him the lucrative
+ employment from which ignorance of English must shut him out,
+ and it is no kindness to him to interfere with his acquisition
+ of this indispensable accomplishment.... So good a Gael as
+ Professor Magnus Maclean has observed that 'even more remarkable
+ than the dearth of philosophical and dramatic poems, and, we
+ might add, of narrative and pastoral poetry proper, is the
+ scarcity of Gaelic prose.' By all means, however, let a literary
+ knowledge of the Gaelic language be encouraged among
+ Gaelic-speaking children. It is a very different matter to
+ enforce such steps as would lead to the teaching of Gaelic to
+ children that live indeed in Gaelic-speaking districts but yet
+ speak only English."
+
+
+HAPPINESS AND GENIALITY OF NATIVES.
+
+What has struck me most in my travels by land and sea, is the
+extraordinary amount of happiness, geniality, and good humour that still
+exists in the world. There is a substantial amount of felicity in the
+majority of men. Every one knows the sentence of Emerson: "Give me
+health and a day, and I will make the pomp of empires ridiculous." I
+like to give concrete examples of philosophic maxims, and I should
+particularise Emerson's dictum thus: "Bard Macdonald of Trotternish,
+Skye, whose only cow came near being impounded by the Congested
+Districts Board in order to pay for the price of seed-potatoes furnished
+to him by the said Board, having good health, makes the pomp of empires
+ridiculous three hundred and sixty-five days every year." Bard Macdonald
+is a very poor man, yet he has contrived to hitch his waggon on to a
+fixed star. He lives in one of those low thatch-roofed bothies that,
+with the accompanying croft, are rented at from £2 to £4 a year. He has
+a wife and a large family. Yet, tormented as he is by present poverty
+and past arrears, he eyes the future with serenity. I heard him sing a
+Gaelic poem of his own composition, containing twenty-five verses of
+intricate versification, and at the conclusion he was far less exhausted
+than any of the company. Then, again, Torquil M'Gillivray, schoolmaster
+of a rainy township on the sea-edge of one of the Skye _nishes_, has
+tranquillity of mind as great as any of the Seven Sages ever enjoyed. He
+is perfectly contented with his lot of rural dominie, and when I, in my
+presumption, ventured to speak critically of certain social conditions
+in his beloved island, he rebuked me by crooning tenderly the following
+lines:
+
+ "Jerusalem, Athens, and Rome,
+ I would see them before I die,
+ But I'd rather not see any one of the three,
+ Than be exiled for ever from Skye!"
+
+We all know what a unique poetical gem Wordsworth composed after he
+heard a Highland girl singing at Inversnaid. I witnessed many fine
+examples of concentrated joy which might have resulted in metre if I had
+not had the presence of mind to pull myself up and refrain. One was at
+Acharacle, where in front of a croft a young fellow was dancing the
+Highland fling with such whole-souled and consuming zeal that I stood
+transfixed with wonder and awe. He was alone, and I came suddenly upon
+him at a sharp bend of the road. He threw his legs about him with such
+regardless glee, that for a moment I was afraid one of them would get
+unfixed and come spinning through the air to hit me. I watched him like
+one fascinated for fully ten minutes. When at length he saw me, the
+glory flowed suddenly off his legs; he subsided into a country bumpkin,
+and beat a hasty retreat indoors. "If Greek dances were as artistic as
+this one," said I, "and if the lines of each chorus had a reference to
+the diversity of the steps, it is little wonder that God in His
+providence should have sent us so many commentators to explain the
+mysteries of ancient scansion."
+
+Another instance of natural and spontaneous bliss came under my notice
+about two miles along from Kinlochewe, on the banks of Loch Maree. It
+was a glorious, sun-illumined spring morning, and every crevice in the
+rough flanks of Ben Slioch was mirrored in the unwrinkled surface of the
+noble loch. Ben Eay had a bright covering of Nature's whitest, softest
+lawn. No sounds were heard except the low droning of a vagrant bee, the
+whizzing of a sea-mew's pinions, or a bark from this croft answered by a
+bark from that other a mile away. Suddenly the repose of the morning, in
+which a pedestrian could hear the echo of his own feet, was startled by
+the voice of a girl singing. For a moment I thought of the _Lorelei_;
+but it was soon evident where the notes were coming from. A maiden of
+ten or twelve was sitting in front of a cottage that faced the lake,
+combing her long, black hair that glistened in the morning rays, and
+pouring forth such exquisite trills as might have made Orpheus envious.
+The whole beauty of ben, loch, and sky seemed to be gathered up in that
+child's song. I had been wandering along in the sparkling air and
+feeling that something ought to be done to intimate to Heaven that it
+was a heavenly morning. The girl felt so happy in the gracious gift of
+another blue day that her nature responded at once in a spontaneous
+burst of melody. I was very grateful for her vicarious hymn of praise--
+
+ "Now thanks to Heaven! that of its grace
+ Hath led me to this lonely place.
+ Joy have I had; and going hence
+ I bear away my recompense."
+
+
+OBAN TO GAIRLOCH.
+
+It is impossible for anyone who has a fair supply of the uncurdled milk
+of human kindness to sail from Oban to Gairloch and not be struck with
+the heartiness and good humour of the native population. Such a trip is
+rarely accomplished without some memorable incident or some outstanding
+impression. The landscape is doubtless magnificent, but the people one
+sees on the way are infinitely more interesting. No one, I am sure, can
+fail to observe the well-groomed, fresh, and imperial aspect of the pier
+policemen. The general polish of their boots and belts, the
+self-satisfied, Parnassian smile that never comes off, the spotless
+gloves, the muscular frame, combine to make up a splendid type of
+impressive Law grounded on Strength. I am ashamed to employ the term
+"policemen" to a body of officials who command such instantaneous
+respect. These men are King Edward's Highland satraps, and they both
+know it and feel it: law in the North is never undignified or unkempt.
+Then, again, the captain of the steamer is a man whom it is impossible
+to regard without veneration. All Macbrayne's men are fine fellows; they
+look well as they stand in stately fashion on the bridge: yet many a
+scowling sky of torrential rain they have to face, many a time have
+their beards been shaken by the hurricanes of the Minch. If you speak to
+a ship-captain, you are certain to get the utmost civility and
+politeness. It is true that most of them have several sets of
+vocabularies: to passengers they are urbane and choice of speech; but
+they have, within easy reach, another set of phrases, which they find of
+service in addressing delinquent mariners.
+
+A student of Virgil in making the trip I have alluded to above, would
+run the risk of recalling the passage in which the poet suggests that
+the big island of Sicily was at one time connected with the mainland,
+but that some huge convulsion of nature disjoined the twain and allowed
+the Mediterranean to come roaring in a channel between. The scenery of
+Western Scotland stirs the imagination to suppose that some similar
+catastrophe permitted the sea to mangle the fair uniformity of a
+prehistoric coast, submerge the low-lying lands, and leave a great
+number of islands lying in lonely fashion out in the watery waste.
+Heavy weather, truly, it must have been ere Coll, Tiree, Rum, and Eigg
+were sundered from the mainland by the Atlantic flow.
+
+All the islands I mention (save Tiree) can be seen from the deck of the
+_Gael_ during the earlier part of the daily passage of that boat from
+Oban in the summer season. Tiree is off the main tourist track, but a
+few antiquarians are now finding it worth their while to go and dig
+there for relics of byegone civilisation. A friend of mine, a zealous
+and erudite F.S.A., has spent many a pleasant holiday in Tiree, and has
+come back with loaded trunks of valuable prehistoric remains. Certain
+artists go out to the island regularly in order to transfer to canvas
+some of Nature's most impressive aspects of cloud, wave, and crag. Nor
+let me forget the doughty members of the _Faith Mission_, who evangelise
+this and others of the outer isles, and sing such sweet melodies to the
+natives as would melt any "Wee Free" heart, let alone an ordinary heart
+of stone. Tiree has long been famous for its schools and for its
+intelligent inhabitants; as a consequence, the libraries have been
+enthusiastically welcomed in its townships, and are regarded by the
+teachers there as a new and valuable adjunct of education. I have often
+heard it said that Tiree produces more ministers than any other
+district, of like population, in the Celtic part of Scotland. The Duke
+of Argyll does not allow any licensed house on the island, but he has
+not as yet suppressed the _Fingal_ and the parcels post. Should His
+Grace ever unbend so far as to permit the temperance hotels to obtain
+the licence, learned men might flock in greater numbers to Tiree, and
+dazzle themselves and the world with further antiquarian finds.[3]
+
+Rum has not been dowered with a Paisley library, and I regret to say
+that the natives have the reputation of not keeping the Sunday with
+ostentatious strictness. Eigg, the little island contiguous, is a little
+heaven below. The missionary there well deserves a word of commendation:
+the island of Muck is under his spiritual supervision, and with a
+sandwich and a sermon in his pocket, he often sets sail, scorning gust
+and current, to preach to his parishioners in that tiny islet.
+
+ [3] Coll is also a very interesting island for the antiquarian.
+ It contains distinct traces of twenty-nine Hill-forts or Duns,
+ so that there must have been lively times out there long ago.
+ Some fine shells, beads, pins and pottery have been found in the
+ prehistoric _kitchen-middens_. Before the Reformation the island
+ was thickly peopled, and sites of old churches and deserted
+ crofts are numerous. Coll has gone back in population; in 1901
+ it had 432 inhabitants; in 1755 the number of natives was 1,193.
+
+
+WINTER SAILING.
+
+The summer tourist knows Skye very imperfectly, for he goes there in a
+commodious steamer and traverses the island at a season when the days
+are long and the weather benign. No one should vaunt of knowing Skye
+unless he has seen it in winter also. It is the small _Lochiel_ that, in
+the dark days of December, bears the passengers along the chilly Sound
+of Sleat, and through the narrows of Raasay, into the haven of Portree.
+At such a time there is something fearsome and weird in the aspect of
+the coast, as seen from the cabin window of the brave little boat as
+she battles and plunges along in the teeth of the north-eastern gale.
+Her progress is slow, for when passengers are few Macbrayne wisely
+economises his coal. The long-stretching hills of Raasay (on the highest
+of which Boswell danced a jig) are white from head to foot, and gleam
+through the darkness of the afternoon, vivid and ghostly. As Raasay
+House, with its lamp-lit windows shining in a snowy recess, is
+approached, the engines slow down, and through the howl of the wind can
+be heard the plashing of oars. The broad waves swirl and seethe cruelly
+around the ferry-boat and toss it about at all angles, up and down, on
+crest and in trough, till you fear it will end its struggles keel
+upwards, and send the mail-bags down among the mackerel. But the boatmen
+know their trade, and so do the dripping, top-booted seamen of the
+_Lochiel_. Amid much running and shuffling and casting of ropes and
+animated bandying of (I fear) strong expressions in Gaelic sung out upon
+the night, the ship's ladder is cast down and the boat tied thereto. In
+a few minutes the transfer of mails is over, the ladder up, and the
+small boat leaping back to land. (I speak of December 22, 1904). A new
+passenger has come on board and is seen to descend the cabin stairs to
+unfreeze his fingers over the tiny stove. Half-an-hour's heaving still
+remains before Portree. A lady who has been on the border-line of
+squeamishness for the last hour, hurriedly leaves the cabin, probably to
+see if her luggage is all right. Good news at last for all! Portree is
+visible, and its lights are twinkling on the height. The moon comes
+graciously out, silvering the snowy shoulders of Essie Hill. What a
+contrast is this moonlit haven, with its background of terraced lights,
+to the rough surges outside. Glad indeed is everyone to set foot on the
+pier and trudge through disregarded slush to the warmth of home or
+hotel. We are told by our island friends that all Skye is under snow and
+that the roads are impassable. No mail-coach has ventured to Dunvegan
+for two days and in other directions, the postmen, turned cavaliers,
+have gone off on horseback with their letters. (Let me say in passing,
+that a red-bearded Highland postman, clad in post-office livery and
+seated on a sheltie, is a sight which any artist would go a hundred
+miles to see.)
+
+Winter sailing may at times be as pleasant as a cruise in June. At 8
+A.M. in the snug cabin, the breakfast-table, with its tea, ham, eggs,
+and sausages, is a welcome piece of scenery, and the genial talk of the
+captain and his colleagues is far better than pepsine as a digestive.
+After breakfast, a pipe on deck is a necessity. Who that has once seen
+Ben-na-ceallich all white to the feet and softly veiled with airy mists,
+but wishes he were a Turner to paint, or a Shelley to sing? The sail
+from Broadford to Kyle on a calm, cold, snow-dazzling morning is (if one
+is wrapped and coated well) absolutely majestic. The sun pours, if not
+warmth, at least light and heat on the hundred bens of the mainland and
+the breeze aiding, wakens a multitudinous smile on the glittering face
+of the cold waters.
+
+I never take this trip without thinking of such books as _The Brave Sons
+of Skye_, which gives a record of the brave men born in the misty island
+who have come south and distinguished themselves in many a different
+walk in life. It is a most inspiring thing to reflect on the dauntless
+way in which genius treads the stony road that leads from poverty to
+glory. There is not a district in Skye but has its great man, who forms
+the subject of conversation round the peat fire when the winter winds
+are blowing down the strath. "From Log Cabin to White House" is the
+American way of putting it: in Scotland we might say "From Crofter's Cot
+to Professor's Chair."
+
+
+A CROFTING VILLAGE.
+
+The sight of a crofting village is at first rather surprising to one
+accustomed to large towns. The low roofs are not far from the ground.
+Often, while driving, if you turn a corner swiftly, you run the risk of
+being thrown out of the trap on to one of the chimneys. It does not take
+much imagination, especially in the dim dusk, to transform a
+low-thatched cot into some weird animal that might begin to walk along
+the hill-side at any moment. So irregularly grouped are the townships,
+dropped here and there, as it were, that you might fancy the houses had
+begun at one time to run a race with each other, and in the middle of it
+had suddenly stopped. Dr. Johnson complained that the windows were fixed
+into the walls and could not, in consequence, be opened to let in the
+air. That fault exists to some extent still: I have been told, however,
+that peat reek is very purifying, and that its thick fumes make short
+work of any noxious germs that might lodge about the nooks of the
+interior. Great changes are gradually coming over many of the clachans,
+changes not loved by an artist or a devotee of the picturesque. Instead
+of thatch, held down by ropes weighted with heavy stones, there is often
+to be seen a roofing of tarred cloth or corrugated iron. Romance might
+attach itself to a roof of thatch, but corrugated iron, with its
+distressing parallelism, could never awaken a genuine lyric note.
+Further, it does not make a very comfortable seat, whereas thatch is
+soft. Now, children in the Highlands are rather fond of sitting and even
+playing on the roof: thatch is less cruel on bare feet than iron is.
+
+
+HORRORS OF THE MINCH.
+
+I have alluded to the distresses of winter voyaging to Skye. But there
+are other routes worse, notably that from Tarbert in Harris to
+Lochmaddy, which is a perfect Tartar of a trip. When the wind is high
+and contrary, the traveller (if he can stay on deck and maintain an
+interest in the scenery), beholds a sight of extreme grandeur. The waves
+are to be seen all along the Harris coast leaping up to a terrific
+extent with an unbroken line of foam extending for miles. So much does
+the boat romp and dance, however, that most passengers forsake the deck
+and retire inelegantly below. When a man lies in a stuffy cabin wishing
+himself wedged into it to prevent the perpetual rolling to this side and
+to that, and hearing the desperate thud of the Minch flinging itself
+against the port-hole, a series of vivid panoramic pictures pass before
+his mental eye. Home appears so lovely and reposeful: faces of friends
+on shore arise, transfigured by the glow of love: the squeamishness and
+retching he endures seem to the sufferer a special and direct judgment
+on him for impiously endeavouring to find pleasure otherwise than by the
+practice of the domestic virtues. Disquieting memories of bursting
+boilers surge up to the surface of the mind, and old catches like the
+weird ballad of Sir Patrick Spens lilt themselves to the clank of the
+staggering ship's machinery--
+
+ "The anchor's brak and the tapmast lap,
+ It was sic a deadly storm,
+ And the waves dashed into the gude ship's side
+ Till a' her planks were torn."
+
+The romance of the sea is apt to vanish as you look out upon a
+wilderness of foaming water, tossing the boat like an insignificant toy,
+drenching the bulwarks and vehemently smiting everything in its riotous
+anger. Neptune seems a mere blind force without reverence or mercy for
+the works of man. It is good for a boy of romantic disposition to cross
+to the Long Island in a gale: it will effectually cure him of all desire
+to take up the profession of pirate. What a sad moment for such a youth
+when he sees his breakfast where it shouldn't be, and reflects that he
+has not the staying power of Sir Ralph the Rover!
+
+I regret to say that I have no specific to give as a preventive for
+sea-sickness. Even the Phœnicians who had time, during the intervals
+of their hardy voyaging, to invent the alphabet, were unable to devise a
+remedy for the _mal de mer_. Custom does not create immunity, for even
+the mighty Nelson, who had a life-long acquaintance with the ocean, was
+afflicted with sea-sickness to the end of his days. In France there
+exists a _Ligue contre le mal de mer_, commenting upon which a French
+journalist says: _Avec une ligue on est toujours assuré d'une chose: à
+défaut de progrès, qu'elle nous fera peut-être attendre, elle fera des
+congrès: et c'est du moins une consolation que de pouvoir discourir de
+son mal._
+
+He that will to Cupar maun through Fife, and he that has business in the
+Lews must brave the billows of the Minch.
+
+
+NOTES ON LEWIS.
+
+The great island of Lewis, formerly so distant from Edinburgh and
+Glasgow, can now be reached in fourteen hours by one who leaves the
+latter city at 5.40 A.M. The old route was very tiresome and circuitous:
+the traveller had to proceed to Inverness, take the Dingwall and Skye
+line to Strome Ferry, and then sail over the Minch to Stornoway. The
+opening up of the West Highlands by the railway to Mallaig has changed
+all that. At Mallaig pier, when you leave the train, you find the
+connecting steamer ready to set off, at noon, for its journey to
+Stornoway, where it arrives about eight in the evening.
+
+I don't think anyone would want to stay more than a week at a time in
+Stornoway. The town itself is just like the fishy part of
+Boulogne-sur-Mer, only more so. There is a pervading odour of mussels,
+bait, and herring, and the gulls go flapping overhead in crowds
+everywhere. If the tourist remained a week in the place, he would go
+every day to the Castle grounds. Here, if anywhere, is the paradise of
+the Lews. There is a profusion of dells, burns, glades, ivy-grown
+bridges, and far-extending vistas over sea, moorland, and town. As with
+a knife (so precise is the division) the well-wooded policies are
+separated from the barren and disheartening moor. When one gets to the
+highest point of the grounds and gazes over the long, tiresome slopes of
+the island, one's belief in _design in nature_ gets a sudden stab. A man
+will think long and sore before he arrives at any _raison d'être_ for
+including such a wilderness of bogs in the scheme of creation.
+
+The men of the island are, in the main, shrewd, resourceful, and
+intelligent--qualities fostered by their constant fighting with the sea.
+"The young fellows here," said one of the hotel-keepers to me, "will
+either make a spoon or spoil a horn. They come to a decision speedily
+and put it into practice at once. It is hit or miss with them, usually
+hit. At sea, in a gale, there is no time for parliamenting; and Lewismen
+act on land with the swift decision that is needed in a tempest." All
+round the coast are fishing-villages, thickly populated by these
+intrepid children of the tempest.
+
+Fishing is a precarious industry, and often fails. The harvest of the
+land may fail at the same time as that of the sea: in such a case the
+plight of the islanders is sad indeed. During the last five years, the
+trade of weaving has been wisely fostered by the Government, so that in
+future, when sea and soil are churlish, the loom will to some extent
+supply the lack. The Duchess of Sutherland and the Congested Districts
+Board have done excellent service in encouraging the tweed-weaving
+industry all over the Long Island. Her Grace, some years ago, made a
+progress through Lewis and addressed the people by means of an
+interpreter, on the advantages of such industry in their homes. She also
+instituted exhibition sales of work in the big cities of the south, with
+the result that large quantities of cloth were sold and a precious
+publicity given to the scheme. Depots for receiving the cloth from the
+workers are now established in Stornoway and Harris. The Congested
+Districts Board advance money without interest for the purchase of
+looms, provide an experienced instructor to supply the people with new
+patterns, and give an adequate supply of dye-pots free of charge. This
+instructor goes over the whole of Lewis and Harris, spending month about
+in each, erecting new looms and modernising old ones. There is a large
+carding mill in Stornoway, where the natives can have the wool
+expeditiously carded in the most approved modern style. An industry thus
+fostered and supervised is bound to succeed.
+
+Educationally, the Long Island is making great progress. Higher
+education is almost entirely centred in the Nicolson Institute,
+Stornoway, a school admirably conducted and finely equipped. The pupils
+of marked ability in the elementary schools of Lewis come here to
+continue their higher studies, and, in many cases, to prepare themselves
+for the University. I have seen specimens of a magazine, annually put
+forth by the senior pupils of this school, and containing many
+interesting essays and poems, grave and gay. The English of the essays
+was remarkably good, and contained here and there some piquant
+suggestions of Gaelic idiom. The pupils read French well, probably
+because their native Gaelic contains such a rich reservoir of nasal
+sounds to draw upon.
+
+
+HIGHLAND DOCTORS.
+
+I have a great respect for the medical gentlemen who have taken up their
+position in remote districts of Scotland, and devote themselves to the
+healing art under most disadvantageous circumstances. The distances are
+incredibly long and dangerous in winter: I have in my mind an insular
+doctor who has a deal of midnight boating to do in glacial weather, and
+whose bills are often paid not in coin but _in fleece newly off the
+sheep's back_. As the population gets smaller, the doctor's work becomes
+more laborious and less remunerative. The institution of district nurses
+has been a great success, and I wish there were more of them. A
+sympathetic and competent _nurse_ is a valuable asset in a crofting or
+seafaring community. In one district of Mull, recently visited, I found
+that the nurse was also the village librarian. She was quite at home
+both with lotions and literature, and could recommend a poet or prepare
+a poultice with equal skill. The ante-room to the village hall was her
+dispensary: it seemed to me remarkably complete, and to have as
+scientific an odour as any city pharmacy. I was glad to see that the
+Clan Maclean was so well supplied with the resources of modern
+civilisation.
+
+In every one of the village libraries there is a copy of Black's
+_Medical Dictionary_, a most useful compilation, written in clear and
+simple language, and detailing all the commonest remedies. Many rural
+teachers and clergymen have considerable skill in coping with illness.
+Every country minister should have at least a smattering of medical
+knowledge.[4]
+
+ [4] At Spean Bridge there is a worthy old farmer, Mr. Chalmers,
+ who has a widespread fame for dexterous bone-setting, a talent
+ which is said to have descended to him from a long line of
+ forbears. A young gentleman from Glasgow was in the hotel there
+ during my stay, and from personal experience spoke of Mr.
+ Chalmers's remarkable powers. He told me that patients come from
+ far and near (after eminent surgeons have failed to give
+ benefit), in order to be treated at Spean Bridge.
+
+
+HOTELS AND ANGLERS.
+
+Wherever the angler goes, you find a good hotel. Uist is low-lying and
+barren, with nothing to attract the eye--no tourist would go near the
+place for anything it has to show in the way of scenery. But as it has
+hundreds of small lochs, full of fish, ardent anglers go thither from
+all parts of the British Isles; and so at Lochmaddy and Lochboisdale the
+hotels are not merely good, they are excellent. The recording angel is
+kept busy, during the season, in taking a note of all the myths told
+there by the fishers in the evening over the whisky and soda.
+
+There may be heard, at night, in most hotels in the Western Isles, the
+riotous scampering of rats overhead and along the walls. In Lochmaddy
+hotel there used to be an old frisker (perhaps he is living still) that
+gave great entertainment, though no one ever saw him. He lifted a stone,
+evidently with his mouth, ran a yard or two with it, and then dropped it
+with a great clatter. The game was a pleasure to him, for he would
+practice it for half an hour at a time. The anglers who frequented the
+hotel called him _the mason_.
+
+I have got into conversation with innumerable knights of the rod, and
+can sympathise to a slight extent with their enthusiasm. Nothing seems
+to take hold of a man so irrevocably as Walton's mania. Travelling by
+night in the north lately, I looked out into the dusk from the carriage
+window and beheld a bright flash of lightning, and by the gleam thereof
+saw a midnight maniac with his rod silhouetted against the vast inane.
+How few fishers nowadays, except perhaps Mr. Andrew Lang, can write
+their experiences in good marrowy English--
+
+ The quaint loquacious wits of long ago,
+ Whose ease was never broken by the shrill
+ Whistle of engine panting round the hill,
+ Could by the brook where fishful waters flow,
+ Spend the long hours in angling to and fro,
+ And hooking lusty trout and salmon, till
+ The low-descending sun and evening chill
+ Would send them to the merry ingle-glow;
+ Then, after fit refection, pen and ink
+ Would consecrate on paper all their feats
+ In rippling phrases flashing with the blink
+ Of forest glades and living water-sheets;
+ The race is poorer now than it was then:
+ We have no anglers that can wield the pen.
+
+I believe the best region in all Scotland for trout is the wild and
+picturesque county of Sutherland. In the district of Assynt alone there
+are 150 lochs, fine sheets of water most of them, lying about among the
+hills. Half-way between the two seas and just on the borders of
+Sutherland and Ross, is the cosy wee hotel of Altnacealgach, with a
+well-stocked loch at the door, from which hundredweights of trout are
+taken every year. The air that blows about the house is to that of
+London as champagne is to dish-water.
+
+There is a close connection, as I said, between the frequentation of a
+district by anglers and the excellence of its hotels. Where there is no
+great influx of tourists, the hotel accommodation is decidedly poor. I
+remember one inn, at a cold windy clachan on the west coast, which only
+stress of weather and dire necessity would make a man enter. Dirty stone
+steps, worn and crumbled in the centre, led to an upper room which had
+apparently not been swept out for a year or two. Not even the city of
+Cologne in Coleridge's time could have produced from among its imposing
+catalogue of stenches anything to match the complex ensemble of that
+malodorous inn. There was stale fish intil't, and bad beer intil't, and
+peat reek intil't, and mice intil't, and candle grease intil't, and the
+devil and all intil't. Though I was the only visitor, I feared I should
+not have the bed to myself: so I e'en wrapped myself in my Highland
+plaidie (after the minimum of disinvestiture), and stretched my limbs on
+an arthritic settee, with intent to sleep. No sleep came till the
+quaffing roysterers of the clachan had ceased fighting under the moon
+outside, about 2 A.M. namely. Rather than stay two nights in such a
+place, I boated out early next day into the mid-channel of the Sound of
+Mull, and clambered up the sides of Macbrayne's _Lapwing_, which took me
+to Oban.
+
+
+RECENT BOOKS.
+
+The most charming of recent works on the Outer Islands is that one of
+which the preface was written in Jerusalem. I refer to the volume of
+Miss Goodrich Frere, a lady whose vivacity, fervour, and picturesque
+style are deserving of unqualified praise. All the libraries in the
+bilingual districts contain the book, and few are so often asked for. In
+conversation and publicly I have often given myself the pleasure of
+recommending it, alike to Highlander and Lowlander. My admiration for
+Miss Frere's talents makes me wish that one or two of her prejudices had
+been less glaringly displayed. She speaks, for example, with something
+like scornful reproach of Lochmaddy, because the habit of taking
+afternoon tea is common in that township. It would have been more to the
+purpose if Miss Frere had issued a general warning to the people of the
+Hebrides not to drink tea as black as porter, and, above all, not to
+boil it. The pale anæmic faces one so often sees in the north and west,
+the mental prostration and actual insanity so alarmingly on the increase
+in the Long Island, are unquestionably due, in great measure, to the
+abominably strong tea that is swilled in such quantities there. A
+Tarbert doctor told me that the medical profession now talk quite
+familiarly of the Harris stomach just as drapers talk of Harris tweed:
+the former is, he averred, as weak and devoid of tone as the latter is
+strong and of good texture. This doctor was called up at two one morning
+to attend a patient in one of the moorland townships. At that hour, away
+over there on the gusty rim of the Atlantic, the natives were all afoot.
+People were talking to each other at the doorsteps; lamps were lighted
+inside, and tea that had been boiling for hours among the red peats, was
+being imbibed with infinite gusto. This, the doctor assured me, was the
+normal style of living.[5]
+
+Talking of North Uist, Miss Frere shows indignation at the invasion of
+southern ideas, and thinks that everything is being vitiated by the
+taint of Lochmaddy. Lochmaddy, characterised in so droll a way, is a
+tiny township with a Sheriff Court, a church, a few well-built modern
+houses, a school, and an excellent hotel. Cleanliness is a welcome
+feature of the place, and I am sorry to say that the same can not be
+said of certain crofting villages not far distant. I expect that the
+visits of the Government Sanitary Officer, whom I met at Lochmaddy, and
+who knows his business well, will ultimately work an enormous amount of
+good. That gentleman gave me such unsavoury details regarding the
+conditions of life in certain of the townships as made me hope that the
+"taint of Lochmaddy," that is to say, the cleanliness and civilised
+life of that village, may more and more become evident throughout both
+the Uists. Improved sanitation would allow heaven's breath to circulate
+through the low-lying cots and prevent them from being hot-beds of
+malignant disease.
+
+One feature of Miss Frere's book which does honour to her fine sympathy,
+but which is not ethnologically justifiable, is the persistent attempt
+to draw a sharp racial distinction between Highlander and Lowlander. The
+truth is, that no part of the Highlands is purely Celtic: the population
+is a welter of Picts, Gaels, Norsemen, Danes, and Saxons. The Lowland
+blood is, in like manner, a bewildering blend, there being no
+uncontaminated Anglo-Saxon district in any single county of Scotland.
+Mr. J. M. Robertson's clever book, _The Saxon and the Celt_, seems to me
+to dispose finally of certain fallacies that Hill Burton and others have
+light-heartedly written on the subject of racial characteristics. The
+conditions of life, the ungeniality of sea and soil, the wild and grand
+aspect of nature, influence thought, feeling, and character at least as
+much as blood and heredity.[6]
+
+Another delightful book on the Outer Hebrides is that written by Mr. W.
+C. Mackenzie. Proceeding in the order of chronology, the author gives a
+vivid series of historic summaries (enlivened by many a piquant episode
+and humorous touch) of the Long Island from the earliest times. The
+wanderings of Prince Charlie, and the condition of the country after
+Culloden, have never been better told than in Mr. Mackenzie's narrative.
+
+ [5] The student of eugenics will note that among the tea-bibbing
+ islanders of the west the teeth of the natives are poor. My
+ experience tends to show that the best teeth in Scotland are to
+ be found in Aberdeenshire. When a Buchan audience laughs, there
+ is a gleam of polished ivory that is very impressive; but rural
+ Aberdeen has deviated less into slops than any other part of
+ Britain.
+
+ [6] "There are probably now more persons of Highland descent in
+ the Lowlands than in the Highlands themselves."--_Scotland of
+ To-Day_, by Henderson and Watt, p. 300. See also note at end of
+ chapter on Inverness surnames, etc.
+
+
+MILITARY.
+
+I hinted at the beginning of this chapter that the barracks of the
+Highland regiments had been supplied with extensive libraries for the
+use of the soldiers during their leisure hours. Fort-George, the
+erection of which was directly due to the Highland rebellions, has been
+presented with two fine libraries, and I am happy to say that the men
+greatly appreciate the gift. I happened to be in the vicinity of
+Fort-George when the Duke of Connaught was conducting an official
+inspection. The little town of Ardersier, which is some two miles from
+the Fort, was gay with bunting for the ducal visit. The books at the
+Fort are under the charge of Sergeant-Major Markham, an able
+elocutionist and one who, in his own sphere, does an immense amount of
+good. He gets the young recruits to band themselves together in social
+clubs, organises games and entertainments for them, and encourages them
+to read and study. The philanthropic Sergeant-Major was engaged in
+typing a catalogue of the books when the genial Duke came upon the
+scene. His Royal Highness was astonished to see such a magnificent
+selection of reading matter at the disposal of the soldiers, and eagerly
+asked for information as to the origin of the boon. His curiosity was
+satisfied, and when he heard that the same donor had given appropriate
+libraries to the garrisons at Inverness, Dingwall, and Kinbrace, he
+exclaimed, "Such a gentleman is indeed the Soldier's Friend."
+
+Since the Duke's visit, a small library of books has been sent to the
+children's school at the Fort. The population of this military
+community, containing as it does a great many married men with their
+wives and families, is fully equal to that of Ardersier, and
+necessitates a separate school. I was struck with the pronunciation of
+the children in this part of the country. Many of the Fort children,
+having mothers from the other side of the Border, speak with an
+unmistakable English accent and are rather unscrupulous with respect to
+the aspirate. The town of Inverness, which is at no great distance from
+Fort-George, has long been famous for its clear and unprovincial English
+speech, a fact which Johnson (oddly enough) thought due to some of
+Cromwell's soldiers having settled there.
+
+Dr. Johnson devotes two pleasant little paragraphs to describe his visit
+to Fort-George and his entertainment there by Sir Eyre Coote. I have
+always admired the Doctor's sly way of avoiding a description of the
+Fort: "I cannot," he says, "delineate it scientifically, and a loose and
+popular description is of use only when the imagination is to be
+amused."
+
+In spite of the menace of Fort-George, the Highlanders fondly cherished
+the memory of Charlie for many a year. To no subject even now do their
+descendants listen with such rapt attention as to his tragic story. I
+have heard indeed of a Highland minister who was so displeased at the
+homage paid to the Prince's memory by some of his flock, that he threw
+at them the unanswerable question, "What will Prince Charlie do for you
+at the day of judgment?"
+
+I have had the curiosity to ask some of the Session Clerks of country
+parishes that were in the line of the insurgents' advance or retreat, if
+any references to the rebellion appear in the minutes of the year 1745.
+No references appear, as a rule, for that year; but, under 1746, there
+are brief accounts of church discipline being exercised in the case of a
+few illegitimate births,--the paternity being ascribed usually to _ane
+sodger_.[7]
+
+At Inverness and Dingwall there exist similar libraries of great range
+and excellence. The men show an interest in Miss Marie Corelli's works
+that is rather astonishing. Their hard and strenuous drill does not
+deprive them of a curiosity to know something about _Barabbas_ and _The
+Sorrows of Satan_. Sir Conan Doyle and Dr. Neil Munro are also great
+favourites, and deserve to be.
+
+A large number of the Inverness recruits come from the Long Island. They
+almost invariably require to be taken to the hospital a week or two
+after their arrival. Change of diet and new modes of life seem to upset
+them at first. For those who have a mind to improve themselves, there
+are abundant opportunities. The reading and recreation rooms are well
+appointed and comfortable. Altogether, the regular life, physical drill,
+and healthy tone of the barracks must have a most beneficial effect on
+the men.
+
+I am bound to say that I do not greatly admire the English style of the
+gentleman who composes the War Office placards that one sees at railway
+stations in the north. These are meant to allure country labourers to
+join the army, but the following piece of fatuous rhetoric must surely
+act rather as a deterrent than otherwise:--"Are you, the descendants of
+those who conquered India and carried the colours of the Gordon
+Highlanders through the Peninsula and at Waterloo, _content to sit at
+home, or be satisfied with dull labours in the fields or at the mills_,
+whilst the ranks of your own regiment are filled by strangers from the
+South?" I heard two freckled rustics, with difficulty and labour hard,
+spelling out the phrases of the foregoing sentence at the little station
+of Fyvie. They did not seem at all impressed by the fervent
+interrogation nor by this picture of prospective delights: "_Many of
+your countrymen have seen the wonders of the Indian Empire and enjoyed
+the soft calm of Malta, and of Ceylon, the Paradise of the Ancients._"
+It does not evince much knowledge of a ploughman's mind to seek to
+awaken his martial ardour by old myths about the Garden of Eden; nor is
+it specially alluring to him to mention, as the acme of glory, that he
+may distinguish himself so much as to gain "_thanks from both Houses of
+Parliament_." Such weak and watery declamation won't do for a country
+that has had thirty-eight years of compulsory education. If our War
+Office wishes to rouse patriotic feeling, it should cease to contrast
+"the dull labour of the fields" with "the soft calm of Malta": the
+veriest clown would not be caught by such chaff. It would be more to the
+point to send gratuitous copies of _The Barrack Room Ballads_ to all the
+village libraries.
+
+ [7] I have heard it maintained by some zealots, whom I greatly
+ esteem, that Gaelic is a highly _moral_ language, that the use of
+ it conduces to purity of life and thought, and that everyone
+ would be improved in tone by contact with its roots. Those
+ ministers who have charge of Session Records, chronicling events
+ that happened before English was known in the West, cannot
+ unreservedly corroborate these views.
+
+
+MORAY FIRTH.
+
+My various visits to the shores of the Moray Firth have convinced me
+that a man may enjoy the majesty and terror of the sea without embarking
+on a boat at all. All he need do is to take a ticket to Portsoy in the
+month of March, when the wind is snell and the clouds low. I have never
+seen a more grim or cruel-looking coast than that which stretches for
+miles east and west of Portsoy. One shudders even at the thought of
+those detestable, razor-edged rocks, tilted up at all angles, with the
+tide for ever boiling and hissing about them. Neither by land nor sea,
+at many parts of the coast, can you get to what might be reasonably
+called a beach. The so-called shore-road is high up on the hills, and
+gives a good view far out over the billows, but does not take the
+traveller's feet near the water at all. Ill-advised would he be who
+should strive to guide his skiff from the outer firth to any chance cove
+on the shore, for the uncouth crags, huge and sombre, would have no
+mercy on any timber jointed by the hand of man. Perhaps the summer sun
+would give a gentler appearance to the rocky and wave-beaten shore, but
+I am certain Mr. Swinburne would prefer to see it in March.
+
+The town of Portsoy in itself cannot be said to have much comeliness;
+the streets are irregular, the houses dismal, and the shops few. God
+has, as is meet, the best of the architecture, most of the churches
+being graceful and well-spired.
+
+About twenty minutes by rail from Portsoy is the trim and typical
+fishing village of Portknockie, high-raised on a hill, and with little
+protection from any wind that Aeolus may send out of his cavern. The
+population comes near 1,600 souls, and it is rare to find a native who
+is not called by one of the following surnames: _Mair_, _Wood_, _Munro_,
+_Pirrie_. I believe such a dearth of appellatives is the invariable rule
+in the fishing villages of the North Sea. To counteract the confusion
+that would inevitably arise, an agnomen or "tee-name" is usually
+appended. The Portknockie tee-names are _Mash_, _Deer_, _Doodoo_,
+_Bobbin_, and _Shavie_. Examples of postal addresses are--
+
+ John Wood (Bobbin), Portknockie.
+ Duncan Munro (Doodoo), "
+ Samuel Pirrie (Shavie), "
+ Daniel Mair (Mash), "
+
+I don't envy the young minister who, fresh from Lucian, has to read with
+solemnity a roll of such communicants.
+
+Between Portknockie and the sea-town of Cullen is a charming stretch of
+links and sea-sands. Over the broad Firth, as one looks north-west, may
+be faintly seen the hills of Sutherland and Caithness.
+
+It is pleasant to read books amid the scenery in which they were
+conceived, and among the people they portray. Those who spend their
+holidays at Cullen would act wisely in reading George Macdonald's novels
+there. No one has drawn the character of the Moray Firth fisherman so
+lovingly, beautifully, and sympathetically as he. After reading such a
+tale as the _Marquis of Lossie_ one looks upon places like Portknockie
+and the sea-town of Cullen with different eyes. The toilers of the deep
+that go forth on the waters from these seaboard shires are serious and
+moral men. Contact with the sea and the presence of danger at all hours,
+have made them alert, keen, and dexterous. Most of the crews carry a box
+of choice books with them for their odd hours of leisure when they go to
+the Yarmouth fishing. Let a stranger get into conversation with one or
+two of these hardy heroes, and he will be surprised at their
+intelligence and wide interests. He will certainly conclude that the
+young fisherman, Malcolm Macphail, whom Macdonald introduces in the
+novel mentioned, is no exaggeration, but true to the life.
+
+The sea-town of Cullen consists of some hundreds of houses closely
+huddled together just at the edge of the sea. The rank odour of wreck,
+tar, fishing-gear, and bait, pervades the air, and is effectually kept
+from corruption by the searching sea-breezes that are ever blowing. When
+not engaged on the water, the men are busy mending their nets, stitching
+their sails, making fast the seams of their craft and tarring the big
+inflated floaters that support the lines. They are quite ready to chat
+with a stranger and discuss their methods of working, their gains,
+mishaps, and partnerships.
+
+When the fishing season is over and the crews are known to be on the way
+home, the excitement among the women is intense. No Bourse ever tingled
+more feverishly with rumours and sinister fears than Sandhaven or
+Rosehearty or Seatown at such a crucial time. Costly nets may be riven,
+boats may be stove in by untoward accidents, or worse than all, fathers,
+husbands and brothers may be drowned on the road home to their loved
+ones. Rarely does a season pass without bringing sorrow to the heart of
+some waiting wife or sister.
+
+The joys, hopes, and fears of these maritime townships have been
+worthily made vocal by Dr. George Macdonald. He has done this with a
+grace and an artistic conception that raise his stories to a very high
+rank in pure literature. I am afraid Macdonald is not much read by the
+present generation: his stories are too long, too philosophical, perhaps
+too poetical, for the taste of to-day. Every book of his is saturated
+from beginning to end with the religion of the Gospels--a religion of
+love, beauty, tolerance, and sympathy.
+
+I am happy to say that I saw Dr. Macdonald once and heard him speak. His
+venerable aspect and chaste elocution made a powerful impression on all
+who heard him. His discourse could not be reported in cold print, for
+the flash of the mystic's eye, the human kindness that emanated from his
+whole being, and the felt emotion of his every tone could not be
+reproduced by any artifice known to the printer.
+
+The Forfarshire fishwives have quite a Dutch mania for cleanliness. On
+Saturdays they give their homes a complete overhaul, and the men are
+driven out of doors during the ceremony. What man could stay at home
+when his wife, supplied with a mop and a big pail of soapy water, is
+sousing the floor and the walls? Furniture is scrubbed and dusted, glass
+ornaments, porcelain hens, and shell-boxes have to be carefully wiped,
+grates and fire-irons must be rubbed to a glittering polish. These
+industrious women, panting with the enthusiasm of work, enjoy Saturday
+more than any other day of the week. The enjoyment springs from various
+causes. There is first the delight that comes from a vigorous exercise
+of the muscles. This pleasure is heightened by the knowledge that the
+work is for a good end, and that on Sunday the house will be
+resplendent, immaculate, and peaceful. It is not to be denied that the
+feeling of satisfaction at having evicted the husband is also an
+important item. When he comes home from discussing politics with his
+co-mates and brothers in exile, she will not fail to jibe him on the
+general worthlessness of his existence, and accuse him of intemperance.
+
+
+AMONG THE MINERS.
+
+A fishing village has a picturesqueness and a kinship with Nature and
+the hills, utterly lacking in a mining locality. The squalid rows of the
+latter, arranged in wretched, heart-breaking symmetry, are an offence to
+the landscape. Mud and filth cumber the door-steps, runnels of
+malodorous water ooze along the rows, ragged and ill-kempt bairns tumble
+about like little savages. A pitiful sight it is to see the black squads
+of colliers returning to their homes after a day in the damp bowels of
+the earth: greasy caps with little oil-lamps attached, wet, miry
+clothing and grimy faces, all make up a most saddening spectacle. The
+wages given to these poor fellows are miserably meagre, considering that
+after the age of forty-five, their limbs are stiffened with rheumatism
+and their lungs the seat of chronic asthma. It is not surprising that
+miners should be intemperate, and that their recreations should rise no
+higher than dog-racing and cock-fighting.
+
+It is very unpleasant to think that so much good bone and muscle is
+being ground and destroyed by work so brutalising and unnatural. Coal
+must be brought to the surface for the wants of civilisation, and in the
+process the collier is destroyed, body and soul. Society needs
+constantly to be reminded of its duties towards those who, in Helot
+fashion, clean the drains and work the mines. Those duties involve more
+than the distribution of tracts.
+
+I had the opportunity of speaking to a crowded meeting of miners in the
+county of Stirling quite recently, and was immensely pleased with the
+behaviour and close attention of the audience. Before the speaking
+began, the proceedings resembled a University Graduation Ceremony, that
+is, there was a great deal of whistling, cat-calling, and rowdy
+merriment. The audience kept on their caps, and many of them, disdaining
+the use of chairs and benches, squatted against the walls in the
+position so dear to subterranean workers. Once the lecture began, the
+resemblance to a University gathering ceased, for the colliers behaved
+like gentlemen. What subject, it may be asked, could possibly interest
+an assembly of illiterate miners? It so happens that, in Scotland, we
+have a great number of working-men poets, who have, in a homely but very
+graphic way, voiced the feelings of the labouring classes, and given fit
+expression to every joy and sorrow that men experience in this mortal
+round. These hodden-gray bards furnish abundance of material for giving
+even the humblest and most untrained mind a few glimpses of what is
+meant by literature. Burns has a broad and brawny humanity that appeals
+to all men, and, besides Burns, there are scores of major and minor
+warblers that are interesting, quotable, and full of grace.
+
+The wild and unruly manners of some mining districts, even at the
+present day, may partly be explained by remembering that up to the end
+of the eighteenth century, colliers were serfs and, as such, were not
+allowed to leave the mines and seek work elsewhere. When a pit was sold,
+the workers passed as a matter of course into the hands of the new
+proprietor. The son of a miner was compelled to follow the father's
+occupation.[8] Slavery fixed a brutalising mark on generation after
+generation that is not yet entirely erased. In the first half of the
+nineteenth century the knights of the shuttle--intellectual,
+disputatious, and lyrical--looked down with infinite contempt on the
+ignorant and boorish slaves of the pick. Poetry has, in consequence,
+little to say about the digger for coal. The song of "The Collier
+Laddie," attributed to Burns, is one of the very few pleasant pieces of
+verse associated with the miner.
+
+The Scotch mining villages of to-day contain a queer juxtaposition of
+nationalities, and the proportion of native colliers is becoming less
+and less. Thousands of Irish families from Ulster and Connaught are now
+settled permanently in the counties of Lanark, Stirling, and Ayr. The
+alien Pole, too, is to be found in the same regions uttering melodious
+oaths learned on the banks of the Vistula. To complete the welter,
+huckstering Orientals may be seen gliding about among the rows of
+houses, fulfilling prophecy and selling highly-coloured pictures of the
+Virgin Mary.
+
+ [8] In his book, _Edinburgh and its Neighbourhood_, Hugh Miller
+ tells the following story, on the authority of Robert
+ Chambers:--"Though legally only transferable with the works and
+ the minerals to which they were attached, cases occasionally
+ occurred in which miners were actually transferred _by sale_ from
+ one part of the country to another. During the early part of the
+ XIXth century, the son of an extensive coal-proprietor was
+ examining with a friend the pits of another proprietor, and
+ finding a collier whose speech resembled that of the colliers of
+ his own district, he inquired where he came from. 'Oh!' exclaimed
+ the man with surprise, 'd'ye no' ken me? _Do ye no' ken that your
+ faither sell't me for a powny?_'"
+
+
+HAND-LOOM WEAVING.
+
+The miner is still with us, but the weaver is almost obsolete in the
+Lowlands. You must search diligently for him. In Laurencekirk (a quaint
+village of one long street, in the shire of Forfar), and in similar
+out-of-the-way nooks, can still be faintly heard the music of the
+hand-loom. I went recently into a weaver's shop in Laurencekirk, and
+found three old men and one aged woman plying their shuttles. The oldest
+of the men was born four years after the battle of Waterloo, and there
+he sat, like a vision of the vanished years, striving to weave a few
+more yards of drugget before going to rejoin his contemporaries of the
+reign of George III. He told me there were once seven hundred hand-loom
+weavers in the place, and "_that young fellow_" said he, pointing to a
+wrinkled carle of eighty on the loom behind, "remembers it as well as I
+do."
+
+The industry of hand-loom weaving, which, a century ago, made every town
+in Scotland resonant with the din of shuttles, is thus almost a thing of
+the past, and the men who engaged in it have gone the way of their
+shoe-buckles, knee-breeches, and seventeen-hundred linen. Yet weavers
+were typical of all that was intellectual in Scottish life: every shop
+was in its way a miniature university, and every weaver a man who
+believed himself capable of giving Pitt a lesson or two on the
+management of the war, and Dundas a few hints on political economy. They
+had, indeed, far clearer views on politics than most of their
+legislators; from their ranks at a subsequent period the Chartist
+agitators--regrettably extreme as they were--were largely recruited; and
+it is not too much to say that the minds of many of our leading
+accredited reformers took the ply from these politicians of the loom.
+These men who, in a way so characteristic of Scotland, managed to make
+high-thinking subsist on homely fare, can never quite fade from memory
+while their tuneful poetical exponent, Tannahill, is read and enjoyed.
+In his works we have a page out of the past; and as we read his life and
+poems, we behold the Scotch village as it was a century ago; we see the
+old houses with their outside stairs, the antique boulder-paved cross,
+and the assemblies of aproned craftsmen discussing news much older than
+their ale.
+
+In Broadford, Skye, there is an old crofter who, in his early years,
+worked at the loom with Alexander Bain, late Professor in the University
+of Aberdeen. Half a century ago, John Stuart Mill said that Bain's
+erudition was encyclopædic. From long residence in France, I know that
+few British philosophers are better known than Bain (whose name the
+French amusingly pronounce to rhyme with _vin_). This old crofter tells
+how he used to chaff the future professor for invariably having a book
+in front of him as the shuttle was plied. Bain, by slow and careful
+work, overcame prejudice, and secured a high position among the leaders
+of thought. Long ago, those who had to sit for the London degrees used
+to regard him as the greatest thinker in Europe. When he retired from
+the examinership at London, students lost some of their old veneration
+for him, and when he married a second time, a Miss Barbara Something,
+they even ventured to make a logical joke on him, and say that he had
+been fascinated by _Barbara's perfect figure_. I know that many pupils
+of our public schools, in love with football more than syntax, often
+regretted that Bain ever composed his _English Grammar_. No book (unless
+perhaps Morell's _Analysis_) has ever been more cordially execrated, and
+no book ever more richly deserved it, for though, like Aberdeen granite,
+it is stately and impressive, it is also ruthless, cold, and implacable.
+The draught may be wholesome and medicinal, but there is no honey on the
+rim of the cup.
+
+
+PROFESSOR BLACKIE IN THE HIGHLANDS.
+
+One hears a great deal of Professor Blackie in the North and West, and
+no wonder. He was a laughing, jocular, impressionable man, who hobnobbed
+with landlords and amiably slapped drivers and policemen on the back,
+throwing a Gaelic greeting at them as he did so. His faculty for writing
+poetry is seen in many a guidebook; Oban, Inverness, Pitlochry, and
+numberless other places, have had their beauties celebrated by this
+animated writer. He was a good friend to the Highlands--studied Gaelic
+most arduously, translated some of the finest of the Celtic bards,
+worked assiduously for the establishment of a Celtic Chair in Edinburgh,
+spoke many a good word for the crofters--in fact, did everything well
+except what he was paid to do, viz., teach Greek to his students. Grave
+D.D.'s could not understand or condone his cantrips. I have been assured
+that on one occasion, when Professor in the College of Aberdeen, he
+actually _stood on his head_ before a class of students. Mr. Barrie has
+given a very amusing and quite unexaggerated account of the Professor's
+normal demeanour in Edinburgh. Blackie's text books of _Greek Dialogues_
+are full of the most waggish remarks.
+
+The landlady of Kinlochewe Hotel gave some lessons in Gaelic to this
+convulsive old scholar. He would come in with a Celtic Bible below his
+arm, and, opening the sacred volume, read a chapter or two at a terrific
+rate of speed, and whistle triumphantly when he had finished. Highland
+folk did not care to converse with Blackie for three reasons: (1) he
+spoke too quickly for the leisurely and composed conversation of the
+Gael; (2) his pronunciation was bad, and people did not like to tell him
+so or correct him--(no one ever pronounced Gaelic to perfection who did
+not get the language with his mother's milk); (3) he was fond of using
+literary words, taken from the older bards, in his ordinary
+conversation; now, such words are obsolete in every-day talk and quite
+unfamiliar to crofters and cottars. In the Highlands, Blackie's English
+was better understood than his Gaelic.
+
+Blackie was undoubtedly a very able scholar--not, indeed, of that minute
+burrowing kind famous in Germany, but rather of the class that delights
+in the literature and vivid force of a language. He _spoke_ Latin and
+Greek, and held views on the teaching of these tongues that seemed more
+eccentric in his time than they do now. He declared that the linguistic
+achievement of which he was proudest was his mastery, such as it was, of
+the language of the Gael.
+
+It affords me pleasure in the retrospect to think of old Blackie at a
+distribution of prizes to school-children in a town of the West some
+years before his death. During the chairman's opening remarks the merry
+old man continued to whistle like a mavis. When the chairman sat down,
+Blackie embraced him and called him fellow-sinner. Some recitations
+followed from the children, one of which was Burns's "Address to a
+Haggis." When the young elocutionist came to the lines--
+
+ "Till a' their weel-swall'd kites belyve
+ Are bent like drums."
+
+Blackie rolled in his chair, held his sides and uproariously expressed
+his approbation. Then came the distribution of prizes, during which the
+Grand Old Boy made some pun or quaint remark on each of the children's
+names, as he presented the books: _"Miss Minnie Morrow_: never put off
+till to-morrow what you can do to-day; _James Glen_: be a real genuine
+_Glen_ all through life, not a _valet_ or flunkey; _William Lindsay_:
+Willie, my lad, imitate your ancestors at Otterburn: 'The Lindsays flew
+like fire about till a' the fray was done'; _Mary Black_: black but
+comely like the daughters of Jerusalem," and so on, in a bird-witted,
+half-daft way that the audience contemplated with benevolent wonder.
+
+
+NOTE ON INVERNESS SURNAMES, ETC.
+
+Let me mention here a very useful and interesting piece of philology
+that was done by Dr. Macbain in 1895. That eminent scholar, working on
+the _Inverness Directory_, analysed the names occurring there, explained
+them on sound principles of etymology, and gave percentages of Celtic
+and Saxon surnames in the Highland capital.
+
+Roughly speaking, the _Directory_ of 1894-1895 had 5,000 single entries,
+and _750 distinct surnames_. Of these surnames, only 110 are pure
+Gaelic. About 70 per cent. of the natives are, however, supposed to be
+of Highland descent.
+
+Dr. Macbain points out that certain Highland clans have names that are
+not Celtic: _Grant_ is from the French "grand"; _Fraser_ from the French
+"fraise," a strawberry (the Frasers have a strawberry in their
+coat-of-arms); _Chisholm_ is English and means "gravel-holm,"--the
+Anglo-Saxon _ceosol_ (pebble) is preserved in _Chesil Beach_ and
+_Chiselhurst_; _MacLeod_ signifies "son of Ljot"; and _ljotr_ is the
+Norse word for "ugly." _Campbell_ is probably Norman-French, though Dr.
+Macbain suggests _cam-beul_, Gaelic for "crooked mouth." In olden times
+an external conqueror would sometimes subdue a district, and call the
+natives after his noble self.
+
+The commonest names in the town are Fraser, Macdonald, Mackenzie,
+Macintosh, Ross, Cameron, and Munro. About 1,200 of the population have
+one or other of the first three names. The Frasers are an easy first,
+and form more than 9 per cent. of the population.
+
+_John_, _Alexander_, and _William_, are the commonest Christian names in
+Inverness. "It is remarkable and indeed regrettable," says Dr. Macbain,
+"that the Gaelic Christian names (Donald, Duncan, Kenneth, Murdoch, and
+Angus), are not higher in the list."
+
+The name of the first recorded inhabitant of Inverness (A.D. 1200) is
+Geoffrey Blount, a feudal warrior no doubt (French _blond_). In the
+thirteenth century we have the names _Noreys_, _Grant_, and _Hay_. In
+the fourteenth century the leading name is Pilch, derived from
+_peluche_, the French for "plush." In the fifteenth century, _Reid_,
+_Vaus_, and _Cuthbert_ are prominent citizens. _Vaus_ is said to mean
+"of the vales," _i.e._, _de Vallibus_; _Reid_ is Scotch for "red"; and
+_Cuthbert_ is pure Lowland. Evidently the leading men were aliens and
+interlopers.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+MUSIC, SPEECHES, AND LITERATURE.
+
+ Scotch a reading nation--Hardships of students in old
+ days--Homer in Scalloway--When education ends--Objects of
+ chapter--Music--M.P.'s--Rural depopulation--Its
+ causes--Emigration--Village halls--The moon--A lecture in
+ Islay--Mental and material wealth--Real greatness--A Highland
+ laird on literature--Varieties of chairmen--"Coming to the
+ point"--Moral obligation--Compliment to Paisley--Oratory at
+ Salen--Lecture in a dungeon--Surprises--A visit to the
+ Borders--Tarbolton--Scotch language--Choice books--The
+ essayists--A Banff theory--Goldsmith in Gaelic--_Biblia
+ abiblia_--Favourites for the road--Horace--Shakespeare's
+ Sonnets--Xenophon--French literature and journalism--Romance and
+ Augustanism--Victorian writers--Celt and Saxon.
+
+
+SCOTCH A READING NATION.
+
+I think it was Mr. Holyoake, the veteran lecturer, who, in a volume of
+reminiscences, declared he found the audiences in Scotland more
+intelligent than elsewhere. I cannot draw such comparisons, for I have
+not spoken often south of the Tweed; this I can say with assurance,
+however, that no one need hesitate to address an audience of Scotch
+peasants on a topic of literary interest. Predestination and such
+religious trifles may stir them to disrespectful heat, but pure
+literature invariably draws forth their cool and critical attention.
+Probably no nation has ever devoted so much attention to books, and, as
+the result of this characteristic, Scotland, considering its size and
+population, has produced far more than its proportion of eminent men. At
+the Reformation epoch, when the comforts of a Lowland cottage would be
+little in advance of those in a present-day Uist croft, writers like
+George Buchanan and his fellows of the _Deliciæ Poetarum Scotorum_ made
+the excellence of Scotch scholarship known in every university of
+Europe. Buchanan was really a typical Caledonian man of
+genius--open-eyed, sagacious, patriotic, and cosmopolitan--and I can
+strongly recommend the occasional perusal of his Latin Psalms to all
+modern readers who wish to keep their feelings of reverence fresh and
+prevent their Latin quantities from getting amorphous.
+
+
+HARDSHIPS OF STUDENTS IN OLD DAYS.
+
+Those who think highly of the Scotch intellect, point with pride to the
+fact that for many a year the Prime Minister, the leader of the
+Opposition, and the Archbishop of Canterbury all hailed from the North.
+For my own part, I am chiefly interested in cases where eminence has
+resulted from the cultivation of literature on a little oatmeal. A few
+months ago, I had the pleasure of chatting, over a cup of tea, with the
+suave old gentleman who combines the postmastership of Dunvegan with the
+office of factor to the Macleod of Macleod. He held me spell-bound for
+an afternoon as he narrated in graphic language the hardships of the
+Skye students in former times. Many a Skye youth, I was told, bent on
+studying the humanities at Aberdeen, would mount his sheltie, traverse
+thereon the rough roads of his misty island as far as Kyleakin, cross
+the ferry there, ride on east through the ben-shadowed track of Glen
+Moriston, and finally bear down on the streets of the Granite City.
+There the o'erlaboured sheltie would be sold to pay the matriculation
+fees.
+
+
+HOMER IN SCALLOWAY.
+
+Many little out-of-the-way townships in insular Scotland contain
+scholars who would find themselves quite at home among a set of college
+dons. In the course of my travels in Shetland I came to the tiny village
+of Scalloway, and while standing on the pier gazing alternately at the
+confusion of sea and island, and at the grim old ruined castle where
+Earl Patrick, the wicked viceroy, once resided, I heard a conversation
+on geology being carried on between a tall and brawny shopman and some
+sailors. The latter, who were on board a ship, shouted their replies
+over a few yards of water to the shopman, who was on the pier near me. I
+was interested in the men's talk, which had to do with the subsidence of
+the land at this part of the coast. One of the sailors alleged that his
+grandmother's cabbage-patch was now covered by the water on which his
+boat was floating. The big shopman, turning to me, quoted the well-known
+passage of Tennyson (everyone can repeat it) of the sea flowing where
+the tree used to grow. "O Earth, what changes thou hast seen." This
+quotation led to a literary talk in which he remarked that of all poets
+he preferred Homer. "What translator do you like best?" I enquired.
+"Blackie's," he replied, "as being the most faithful to the original.
+But I rarely read a translation, '_I prefer Homer in his own Greek._'"
+This remark made by one whose fingers were glistening with
+herring-scales, came to me as a pleasant surprise. Later on in the day,
+I visited his house and saw his fine library and his splendid selection
+of classical books. Not many teachers of my acquaintance have a better
+array of the editions of Homer. He was not one of your ignorant
+collectors who know only the outside of what they buy. He had read over
+the whole forty-eight books of the text again and again, and could
+discuss knotty passages in most interesting and original fashion. His
+memory was evidently an excellent one. He informed me that most of his
+reading was done in the early morning, and that he found five hours'
+sleep quite adequate. I have a most agreeable recollection of my
+interview with this self-taught scholar. I believe there are many like
+him in not a few outlandish nooks of Scotland,--men who read books not
+for any material advantages that result from their studies, but simply
+and solely for the intense pleasure that comes from communion with the
+masterminds of bygone generations.
+
+Travel in remote districts of Britain reveals the fact that our
+provincials, whenever they have the chance, are a studious and
+thoughtful race. The isolation and monotony of life in many parts are
+bound to drive men to study and reflection if the means for these are at
+hand. Sisyphus himself had hardly less variety of occupation than some
+of our shepherds whose work on the hills involves long absences from
+social intercourse. To such men (whose life is suggestive of a repeating
+decimal) the access to an ell or two of good books often means mental
+salvation. Nothing is so melancholy as to find a countryman of brains
+who has never had the opportunity of cultivating his mind in such a way
+as to eliminate prejudice and widen the range of interest.
+
+
+WHEN EDUCATION ENDS.
+
+I am sometimes inclined to think that many of our rural clergymen,
+intent on shielding their congregations from pestilent doctrine and
+latitudinarism, are actuated by much the same spirit as the Sultan Omar
+when he set fire to the great Library at Alexandria. The Bible is no
+doubt the best of books, and it may be that the Confession of Faith
+comes next: but when these have got their share, there still remains the
+religious duty of educating the intellect by a wide perusal of the
+inspired apostles of secular literature. A Highland teacher, who
+presided at one of the lectures in the north, expressed himself very
+appositely thus on the subject of education: "The supposition that
+education is over when a boy leaves school, is far too prevalent," he
+said. "Education properly considered comes to an end when the last
+breath of life is drawn. Edward Young in his _Night Thoughts_ says:
+'Were man to live coeval with the sun, the patriarch-pupil would be
+learning still.' Young was undoubtedly right: some of the most forceful
+and penetrating lessons of life are given to us long after we have cast
+our text-books into some dusty corner, never to be opened more. In our
+early days, we cannot choose our own teachers, and there is often a good
+deal of force and constraint. The delightful thing about our education
+in mature life is that we have the selection of our own masters. There
+is no compulsion whatever. I am convinced that for everyone of us there
+is some one author whose works will act as medicine for the mind and be
+an unfailing tonic in all conditions of the soul."
+
+
+OBJECT OF CHAPTER.
+
+I intend to devote this chapter to a description of a few of the
+speeches delivered by some of the speakers at such literary evenings in
+various parts of the country. After I had said my say, I sometimes
+invited an expression of opinion. Almost invariably someone responded to
+the invitation, with the object of asking a question, expressing
+dissent, or intimating concurrence. I do not recollect a single meeting
+out of hundreds that could be called monotonous. It did not in the
+slightest detract from the interest of a meeting that many of the
+remarks erred on the score of irrelevancy. The attention never flagged
+from first to last, and it was no uncommon thing for the proceedings to
+last for over three hours. In giving typical speeches delivered by
+crofters, lairds, tradesmen, and clergymen, I mean to indicate to the
+reader _the subjects that are of interest to our provincial population,
+their attitude to questions of literature and social life, and
+incidentally the great amount of humour that still exists in the world_.
+
+
+MUSIC.
+
+The free and unconventional character of these meetings was perhaps seen
+best of all in the musical part of the proceedings, which was always
+arranged locally. Usually the songs were well-known Highland or Lowland
+airs, in many cases so exquisitely rendered that it was quite evident
+there had been much previous preparation. When my opinion was asked
+beforehand, I invariably recommended national melodies. It was always a
+treat to get a Gaelic song or two well rendered. At Acharacle (a little
+place at the far end of Lochshiel) Mr. Rudd's piper gave some fine
+Highland tunes, which evoked great enthusiasm. Personally I prefer the
+pipes to every other instrument, for this reason, that even if I don't
+understand all the music, I can appreciate the scenic effects. The
+Acharacle piper was a fine specimen of the Celt, and his get-up was
+glorious:
+
+ "He screwed his pipes and gart them skirl
+ Till roof and rafters a' did dirl."
+
+Sometimes the phonograph formed part of the musical programme. I do not
+approve of this demoralising instrument except to a very limited extent.
+The cylinders usually gyrate with records of fatuous music-hall songs,
+unedifying coster-airs and farcical speeches. The _vox humana_
+interpreting national melodies is infinitely better. What vigour and
+illustrative expression the islanders can throw into their songs! I have
+but to shut my eyes to see the policeman of Staffin interpreting "The
+Bonnie House o' Airlie." When his big, manly voice threw out the
+terrible threat, "_I'll no' leave a staunin' stane in Airlie_," his eyes
+shot fire, his teeth gleamed, and his ponderous fist came thundering
+down on the table in front of him.
+
+I still remember with infinite pleasure the strains of Mr. Cameron's
+Poolewe Choir, heard in Gairloch school-house. That energetic and
+complaisant conductor brought his clear-throated minstrels over to the
+meeting in a brake. It was a luxury to see them with their white robes
+and tartan sashes, while in front of them stood their genial leader clad
+in kilts. The Gaelic _Mod_, which is now a regular institution in the
+land, is bound to do splendid service towards keeping alive the fine old
+music of the North. The Poolewe Choir, I am happy to say, won much
+distinction at the _Mods_ of both Inverness and Greenock. _There is
+great need for choirs, and great need, also, for innocent songs of a
+secular character._ Before I spoke to the people of Eigg, I requested
+the teacher to arrange, if possible, for a musical programme. The reply
+staggered me: "No man, woman, or child in this island would for a moment
+even dream of singing a worldly song. We are all converted here, except
+a few benighted Catholics. The vain, fleeting joys of this world are as
+dross to us. The missionary has a modulator, and he trains the young men
+and women in the sol-fa so that they may sing Sankey's hymns in all the
+parts." I was dreadfully floored by this answer, and could only mutter
+mechanically, "_Dross_," "_Missionary_,'" "_Modulator_," in a vain
+effort to seize the situation. Conversion I understood and approved of,
+but where, in the wee island of Eigg, were the vain, fleeting joys?
+There is no public-house in the place, and little temptation of any
+kind. The most disquieting item of all was the modulator: I have not
+seen one for a long time, and am not sorry, for there is nothing which
+so spoils the appearance of a wall nor anything so dismal as practising
+scales. A compromise was come to, and it was arranged that some Gaelic
+readings, containing a dash of religion, should take the place of songs,
+and give some variety to the evening's proceedings.
+
+At some of the meetings there was perhaps an _excess of realism_.
+Bottom, in "A Midsummer Night's Dream," wishing to avoid excitement and
+fear among the ladies when he is acting the part of Pyramus, says:
+"Write me a prologue; and let the prologue seem to say, we will do no
+harm with our swords, and that Pyramus is not killed indeed; and for the
+more better assurance tell them that I, Pyramus, am not Pyramus, but
+Bottom the weaver: this will put them out of fear." I thought of
+Bottom's extreme delicacy when I was present at a meeting in Tomatin not
+long ago. An outstanding feature of the evening's proceedings was the
+vividly dramatic rendering of the song, "Macpherson swore a feud," by
+the local postman. The latter, a big, burly man, was extremely
+formidable in his Highland attire. When he came to the verse dealing
+with the untimely decease of Macpherson, he whipped the dagger out of
+its sheath, flourished it as in act to kill, and terrified some of the
+lady visitors by his vivid suiting of the action to the word. They were
+as much astonished at the flash of the _skian dhu_ as the Commons were
+when Burke threw a dagger on the floor of the House.
+
+A musical treat is sometimes got in the most unexpected places. I was
+particularly struck with a children's glee-party in Jura (a rough island
+known chiefly for its sterile Paps). The bairns admirably rendered Ben
+Jonson's delightful ditty, "Drink to me only with thine eyes," and the
+Shakespearian song, "Where the bee sucks, there suck I." In such islands
+a musical teacher is a valuable asset. Let me add that all the libraries
+have been gratuitously supplied with fine collections of Scottish music.
+
+At Acha, in the island of Coll, four sturdy farm-maidens, ruddy with
+health and robed in white, gave various English and Gaelic airs in
+admirable style. A divinity student sang a _coster song_ (think of this
+in an island of craggy shores, gulls, wild-swans, and curlews!), and on
+being encored, he gave a "Cradle Lullaby," and by gently swaying a chair
+backwards and forwards on the platform, he strove to illustrate the
+movements of childhood's earliest receptacle.
+
+A military gentleman--an ex-major--in proposing a vote of thanks, one
+evening, to the singers, said he had sung a song but once in his life,
+the occasion being his admission to the Royal Engineers, thirty years
+before. It was a standing law in that body that every novice should sing
+a song or drink a mixture consisting of whisky, ink, and cayenne pepper.
+He chose the former alternative, and at the end of the first verse the
+Royal Engineers had all left the room in a demoralised condition!
+
+
+M.P.'s.
+
+At one of the meetings in Argyleshire, I had the joy of speaking under
+the chairmanship of the glib and able Mr. Ainsworth, M.P. for that
+county. Among the votes of thanks was one for the chairman: it made a
+profound impression upon me, as much by its form as by its substance: "I
+hope, Mr. Ainsworth, that you will take better care of your health in
+future (hear, hear). No, no, you are not taking care of your health at
+all (laughter). We all expect you to be Prime Minister, and that is the
+reason we would like you not to roam about so much and undermine your
+constitution (cheers). You are always travelling. You are like the
+Wandering Jew. No! you are like a little bird on a bough. To-day, we see
+you on a tree near the door; to-morrow, we see you on a tree a hundred
+miles away" (great cheering). Mr. Ainsworth kindly promised that, in
+view of his destiny, he would cease to range around the country so
+indiscriminately.
+
+Unfortunately, I have never met Mr. Galloway Weir, but I have heard much
+of the zeal of himself and his agents. The following story hinges on the
+fact that _Weir_ and _wire_ have the same pronunciation in Lewis. An old
+illiterate crofter came to record his vote by word of mouth, and told
+the polling sheriff: "I will vote for the right man, yes, yes, it's the
+right man I will be voting for this time." "That may be," said the
+sheriff, "but unless you will tell me his name, you can't vote." "Well,
+if you must know," said the old man, handing the sheriff a
+stocking-wire, "_I will be voting for the man that has the same name as
+that_."
+
+
+RURAL DEPOPULATION.
+
+The mention of that eminent politician brings to my mind the frequent
+references made at these meetings to the painful subject of rural
+depopulation. Everyone regrets the exodus of young men from the country
+to the town, a practice which depletes the rural villages and deprives
+the land of the strong arms that should find employment in working it.
+The ministers are not without hope that the rush city-wards may be
+checked by improving the conditions of country life, rendering it more
+attractive to the young, and enlisting the aid of Government in the
+scheme of small-holdings. Motives of health, morality, and patriotism,
+are all concerned in the fostering of a hardy peasantry. Everything that
+makes country life attractive to young men must operate to make them
+regret to quit it. I wish I could reproduce textually all the strong and
+astounding speeches I have heard in the Highlands on this subject of
+depopulation.
+
+"We often hear," said a farmer, "that it's healthy men and women that
+make up the true wealth of a country, and if that is true, Scotland, for
+all its increase of riches, is every year growing poorer. How can the
+people left in the glens continue to propagate a hardy race, if all the
+young healthy bloods leave for the cities and settle there? I am afraid
+that both brain and brawn will continue to get feebler among us, unless
+the Government give some kind of inducement for the peopling of the land
+with bien, self-respecting men _that have a bit land of their own_. It's
+impossible to get farm-hands round Tayside nowadays, and it's not to be
+wondered at. Suppose a young man stays here, what prospect has he, what
+incentive has he to work? At the age of seventeen he has earned the
+highest wage he will ever earn. Thereafter his life is a slow,
+monotonous serfdom; he has no hope whatever of rising, he is doomed to
+live from hand to mouth all the years of his existence. But put before
+that young man the hope that he can _become the owner_ of a morsel of
+land, however small, and you put life and pride into him. He will work
+in that case with intelligent purpose, knowing that every penny he saves
+is to be employed in making him a landed proprietor, and every detail of
+experience he gains will tell in the future for his direct benefit. Our
+young fellows don't really want to leave the land and go to die
+prematurely (as a great many of them do) in the slums of Glasgow and
+Edinburgh. They go to the cities because there is at least _a chance_ of
+bettering their lot there, a chance which is entirely lacking at home.
+Some of them go away to the colonies and thrive as farmers there. I
+rejoice to hear of such success; but I rejoice with trembling when I
+think how much of Britain's best manhood has to leave her shores to till
+Transatlantic fields, while so much land at home remains unoccupied. By
+and by, if you want to see a good specimen of the Highlander, you will
+have to go to Canada. Sooner or later, and the sooner the better, the
+vigorous action of Government will be demanded to remedy the present
+iniquities of land-tenure, and to put a stop to the compulsory
+degradation of those who till the soil."
+
+
+ITS CAUSES.
+
+The present seems to be an opportune time for directing public attention
+to some remarkable changes that are taking place in the population of
+the rural districts of Scotland. A great deal of speaking and writing
+has been expended of late years in lamenting the depopulation of the
+country. Young fellows do not like the monotony of village and farm
+life: they prefer the stir and excitement of the cities. Such things are
+not to be wondered at. Town life has always had an attraction for those
+whose energy requires a wide scene of action. Energy and ambition go
+together, and it is the possessor of such qualities that makes the
+successful city man. The country does not give scope enough for their
+adequate display.
+
+The railway train and the inventions of modern times are both answerable
+for a certain amount of depopulation. I believe the condition of
+farm-hands has been markedly improved of late years. They have now a
+shorter day, higher wages, better food, and superior house
+accommodation. Mechanical appliances have made farm-work lighter and
+more agreeable. The drudgery of the threshing flail is now unknown; the
+hook and the scythe have given way to the reaping-machine: in every way
+hand labour has been lightened. But it is precisely this machinery that
+lessens the need for large numbers of agricultural labourers. It is also
+notorious that shoemakers, tailors, and blacksmiths, are not so much
+required in the country as they used to be. Ready-made shoes and clothes
+are brought by rail from the city, and local tradesmen are reduced in
+numbers.
+
+
+EMIGRATION.
+
+There seems to be in our day a competition among the Governments of the
+New World, which of them can lure away the greatest number of our
+peasantry. The latest candidate for our rural youth is the State of
+Virginia, the legislature of which has voted a large sum of money to
+pay the expenses of two delegates, who are at work in the East of
+Scotland, hunting for likely emigrants. These Virginian delegates--Mr.
+Koiner and Col. Talliafer--paid the passage-money of over a hundred
+stalwart lads from Lochtayside in the autumn of 1906.
+
+No one who has the opportunity of travelling through Scotland can fail
+to be struck by the absolute frenzy for emigration that exists
+everywhere. There is a constant stream of emigrants from all our
+agricultural counties to the wide plains of Canada. That great colony is
+being "boomed" in a most energetic way. In Sutherlandshire, I saw a
+large van, with placards and specimens of Canadian produce, being driven
+through Strath Halladale, to tempt the crofters over the deep. I have
+also, at the railway stations in the North, beheld heart-rending scenes
+of parting as the young fellows said good-bye to their parents and
+friends:
+
+ "Who could guess
+ If ever more should meet these mutual eyes."[9]
+
+ [9] Such emigration has, of course, nothing to do with the
+ systematic work instituted by Mr. William Quarrier of Bridge of
+ Weir. That devout philanthropist occupied himself with the waifs
+ and strays of Glasgow, taught them trades, and sent large numbers
+ of them to the colonies to learn farming. One Saturday, in 1907,
+ I saw a hundred and twenty of these lads, who were on Bridge of
+ Weir platform waiting for the train. The scene was pathetic in
+ the extreme--enough to melt a heart of nether millstone. Many of
+ the lads were in tears as they answered the roll-call for the
+ last time. In the afternoon they (and over two thousand
+ emigrants) left the Clyde, amid sobs, cheers, and the waving of
+ multitudinous handkerchiefs. These boys go, in the first
+ instance, to Brockville, in the province of Ontario, whence they
+ are distributed out among the Canadian farmers.
+
+
+VILLAGE HALLS.
+
+In most of the places I have visited, the school-house is the only
+available hall for public meetings. Now, a school-room, with its small,
+cramped seats, its lack of platform, and its defective ventilation, is
+not well adapted for large gatherings. No man likes to speak _up to the
+waist in audience_, under a low roof, and in stifling air. If less money
+were spent on needless church-building, every district in the Highlands
+might have its hall for purposes of recreation, reading, and lecturing.
+As it is, the churches should everywhere be used far more than they are
+for secular gatherings of an elevating kind. Religion suffers greatly
+from the closing of churches to concerts and lectures.
+
+The kindness of local lairds is nowhere more pleasantly shown than in
+the giving of funds towards the creation of village halls and recreation
+rooms. The little village of Alness has a splendid Working Men's Club,
+furnished with everything requisite for pleasure and
+profit--smoking-room, billiard-room, and reading-room. This Club owes
+its existence to the generosity of Mr. Perrins--known everywhere for the
+excellence of his famous condiment--who has an estate in the vicinity.
+Kiltarlity and Beauly have, for similar instances of discreet bounty,
+permanent reason for blessing the name of Mr. Phipps. Other instances
+that occur to me are the spacious Dunbar Hall in Auldearn, due to the
+kindness of the family of which the genial Sir Frederick Dunbar, Bart.,
+is the present representative, and the Astley Hall in Arisaig, named
+after the family so long associated with that charming West Highland
+village.
+
+It must not be supposed that the natives do not thankfully welcome such
+work on their behalf. Many of the townships, it is true, have had
+libraries and halls for many a year, and have established these entirely
+on their own initiative; but outside help and enterprise stimulate local
+effort in a way often impossible otherwise, as the natives themselves
+admit. At Nethy Bridge, a fine hall, with club-room, has been recently
+erected, largely owing to the enthusiasm of a London lady resident in
+the vicinity. She was distressed to see the young fellows of the place
+loafing aimlessly about at night, and proceeded to organise some
+rational amusement for them. Her philanthropy has been greatly
+appreciated. At Kilmartin, the jubilee of Queen Victoria was signalized
+by the erection of the Poltalloch Victoria Hall--an enterprise in which
+laird and crofter alike willingly co-operated. It is in this hall that
+the Library is established. Mr. Dixon, the erudite historian of
+Gairloch, set aside the profits of his book to help in furnishing the
+reading-room at Poolewe, in Wester Ross.
+
+When a rural community has a library and a place to meet in, a literary
+society is, as a rule, soon formed. Such a society, founded for an
+elevating and educational purpose, forms a common meeting-ground for all
+sects, schisms, and parties. I am aware that in most towns of any size
+there are such societies in connection with the special churches. In the
+Highlands it is better to eliminate the denominational element, for the
+very good reason that, the population being small, no one of the too
+numerous churches would furnish a representative enough roll of
+members. I was charmed to find that the little town of Portree, of which
+the population is not much more than eight hundred, has a fine literary
+society, established on the broad and rational lines I have indicated.
+As might be expected from the intellectual advancement and strong
+literary bent of the inhabitants, the lectures given and the subjects
+discussed at the meetings of the Portree society are of a more erudite
+nature than anywhere else in the West Highlands. Most of the Portree
+clergymen and professional men are on the list of members.
+
+
+THE MOON.
+
+Very few city people pay much attention to the moon: in the country that
+luminary has to be constantly deferred to when arrangements are being
+made for social meetings, dances, or lectures. When many of the audience
+have to come six, or even ten miles by land or water, light is needed,
+and light from above is best. It increases a lecturer's pride to be told
+that the plashing of oars over there on the argent face of the waters is
+an indication that some of his audience are coming from the other side
+of the loch. At the conclusion of many of the lectures, I have seen half
+a dozen traps, boats, and bicycles speeding away merrily in different
+directions. But for the bright moon, the audience would have been
+limited to the immediate neighbourhood of the place of meeting.
+
+It has often happened that my hotel was as much as seven miles from the
+lecture hall. As closed carriages are rare in certain districts, and as
+it frequently rains--when it is not snowing--in the West and North of
+Scotland, I had many good opportunities for gauging my powers of
+endurance. The road from Killin to Ardeonaig is a fair example of a
+Highland highway:--
+
+ "Rough, hilly roads, that stain the spokes with mire;
+ Thick folds of ebon night on loch and law;
+ The moan of breezes wailing through the shaw
+ Like the weird plaints of an Æolian lyre:
+ And intermittently through the clouds, the fire
+ Of lightning streaks the night with glitter and awe,
+ And lapses swiftly in the dismal maw
+ Of darkness, 'mid the din of thunder dire.
+ But to relieve the sad night's sullenness,
+ And clear the heavens for the timid moon,
+ The straight-descending rain riots like hail
+ For a fierce hour, in prodigal excess;
+ Anon the clouds unmuffle, and the pale,
+ Thin crescent of Diana gilds night's noon."
+
+The place of meeting at Ardeonaig was on the shores of Loch Tay, and the
+main road from Killin is high up and does not go near the water at this
+point. After alighting from the machine, I had to descend to the
+loch-side by a steep, miry, and circuitous road through a wood. As the
+"thin crescent of Diana," alluded to above, was not adequate to light my
+footsteps here, I struck some futile vestas, which the dripping leaves
+at once extinguished. Two elders, swinging lanterns and calling me by
+name, by and by divided the night in my vicinity. Their appearance was
+welcome, for the torrential rain had made the track one continuous
+slippery quagmire. The hospitality of the Ardeonaig minister speedily
+banished all recollection of the "sad night's sullenness."[10]
+
+A more trying, because a longer, drive is that from Kilmun to Strachur,
+by way of Loch Eck. In the leafy month of June, nothing could be finer;
+but in a winter blizzard, one's appreciation of the glory of nature is
+somewhat less than rapturous. I mention the Strachur meeting because it
+was graced by the presence of a large contingent of local volunteers in
+civilian attire. The War Office ought to know that the inclement weather
+prevented these warriors appearing in their uniform.
+
+ [10] It is not often possible, in the _islands_, to get anything
+ but a trap or open coach. In Lochranza, on a day of dreary,
+ disheartening rain, I found on enquiry that there was no covered
+ vehicle to be had except the _hearse_.
+
+
+A LECTURE IN ISLAY.
+
+The westerly leg of Islay contains one or two places that have public
+libraries sent from Paisley: Portnahaven and Port Charlotte on the sea,
+and Gruinart inland and more to the north. It is a weird experience to
+drive along the shore road from Bridgend on a night of pitiless rain,
+and see the heavy mists broken every now and then by the far-reaching
+flash of the Portnahaven lighthouse. Equally weird is it to lecture in a
+school with no lamps (as happened at Port Charlotte). At eight o'clock I
+could see the faces of the audience well enough, but by and by the room
+became quite dark, and I seemed to be addressing an audience of silent
+and attentive ghosts. After I had finished, a Phantom arose in the far
+corner of the room and proposed a vote of thanks; and thereafter a Voice
+somewhere pronounced the benediction. Then there was a movement of feet,
+and the shadowy spectres trooped out into the night. The foolish virgins
+had no oil in their lamps; in Port Charlotte, there was neither oil
+_nor_ lamps.[11]
+
+ [11] Islay is yearly becoming better known. It is an undulating
+ island, covered with rich meadow-land, the home of horses, sheep,
+ and cattle. There should not be a hungry man within its
+ circumference. Under the old lairds--the Campbells--there were
+ 14,000 inhabitants, now there are 6000.
+
+
+SOME SPEECHES.
+
+
+MENTAL AND MATERIAL WEALTH.
+
+I never heard the difference between mental and material wealth more
+forcibly expressed than by an old Perthshire shoemaker. "Supposing,"
+said he, "that I had fifty pounds in my pocket at the present moment.
+What a wild supposition, but good enough for an illustration! What
+inference would you draw from me having that sum of money? This, namely,
+that no other person in the universe has the same fifty pounds. The same
+pair of boots cannot be worn by two persons at the same time. The same
+guinea cannot be twice spent by the same man. It is different with
+spiritual things, and with works of art. Scores of people can
+simultaneously enjoy a great painting or a fine piece of music: _my_
+enjoyment does not interfere with _yours_, indeed, it is more than
+likely that my enjoyment will be greatly increased from knowing that
+other people are enjoying it as I am. Then again, you can't eat the same
+loaf of bread twice: but you can return a hundred times to the same
+song, poem, or picture, and like them better the hundredth time than the
+first. A pathetic old tune does not lose anything in being sung by
+generation after generation. It is always as good as new. Like the
+widow's cruise of oil, it can be used without being consumed. These
+facts show that works of art--good books, good poems, good music--are,
+in a certain sense, immortal and divine. A hundred years ago, our
+ancestors sang 'Bonnie Doon'; we, to-day, sing it with undiminished
+fervour; a hundred years after this, the song will be fresh. Aye, and a
+humorous American writer thinks some of us will hanker for it in heaven:
+
+ 'Perhaps in that refulgent sphere
+ That knows not sun or moon,
+ An earth-born saint would long to hear
+ One verse of Bonnie Doon.'"
+
+
+REAL GREATNESS.
+
+The Rev. Chairman of this meeting emphasised the shoemaker's remarks in
+the following admirable words: "I often wonder what is really the
+greatest thing ever done by a citizen of this country of ours, by a man
+of English speech. If we agree with our worthy shoemaker and his way of
+thinking, we shall not look at the big accumulation of guineas as an
+indication of greatness. Certain commercial men (who ought to know
+better) seem to think God has sent us into this lovely world for the
+sole purpose of piling up as much money as possible, and then, by death,
+leaving it to others to spend. _That_ can hardly be considered our
+reasonable service. Life is not so low-pitched as that. The best work of
+man does not admit of being put into an equation with cash. The greatest
+feat, to my mind, an Englishman ever performed was the writing of
+_Paradise Lost_. How much did John Milton get in money for his
+incomparable epic during his lifetime? _Five Pounds_: and if he had got
+five million pounds, the recompense would have been absolutely
+inadequate. History, however, has indemnified Milton for the neglect and
+poverty he endured. He has shot up into stature while those of his
+contemporaries who bulked largest in the eyes of the world have dwindled
+and shrunk into insignificance in comparison with him. The witty,
+dissolute king, Charles II., is now seen to be a wretched pigmy: Milton,
+who died in blindness and political disgrace, is the real king of that
+era, overtopping all the rulers, cabals, and intriguers. So, too, in
+Scotland, Burns is the giant of _his_ period. During Burns's life, the
+Earl of Dundas was to all intents and purposes king of the country. He
+could say to whomsoever he pleased, '_Friend, come up higher; be you a
+Sheriff, or Lord-Lieutenant, or Justice of the Peace_.' Dundas is pretty
+well forgotten by this time: probably he will by and by be remembered
+solely by Burns's description of him: _That slee, auld-farrant chiel
+Dundas._ Kings and men of temporary renown do well to keep on good terms
+with the men of letters."
+
+It is always a great treat to hear a working-man who has the power of
+utterance deliver a speech in a straightforward and unrhetorical way.
+There is _always_ a pith and vigour about such deliverances quite
+unattainable in a formal harangue. The magnates of the little Fife
+villages are specially notorious for their gift of the gab: when Bailie
+M'Scales or Provost Cleaver gets up to speak, no one has any inclination
+to fall asleep.
+
+
+A HIGHLAND LAIRD ON LITERATURE.
+
+Max O'Rell has told us that his chairmen sometimes took advantage of
+their position to push their claims for the Town Council. I have not had
+the time at my disposal curtailed by any such municipal oratory, though,
+occasionally, my remarks on literature have seemed to the chairmen to
+stand in need of supplementing. One gentleman, in proposing a vote of
+thanks, pulled a copy of Bacon out of his pocket and read the whole of
+the famous essay on _Studies_. Another managed to bring in a lengthy
+dissertation on radium! The following speech, delivered by a Highland
+laird of a poetical turn, is noteworthy: "I am very fond of poetry," he
+said, "and yet I turn with a very languid interest to the writings of
+modern poets like Watson and Davidson. The verses of these gifted
+singers are for others, not for me. The truth is, I don't want any more
+lyrics and such like sugar pellets. My brain is already stocked with a
+plenteous supply on which I browse in weal and woe, which I almost think
+I personally composed, and to which I have attached a great many
+emotions and extraneous incidents known to nobody but myself. My old
+poetic favourites have been lying in various corners of my brain for
+forty or fifty years; I know every turn, rhyme and rhythm of them; and
+as they have served my need and alleviated my sorrow so long, I do not
+intend to give them many fellow-lodgers more. I do not know at what
+particular time literary nausea sets in, but Solomon had it when he said
+that of the making of books there was no end. No doubt his father David
+had primed him well in boyhood in the Psalms, and Solomon, feeling (like
+many others since) that the paternal psaltery met all his need of
+literary stimulus, would turn wearily from the heaps of presentation
+copies of new verse sent by the rising poets of Judæa for their
+sovereign's inspection. When a new book came out, Charles Lamb re-read
+an old one,--an excellent practice and one which has the additional
+recommendation of economy. It is not an unpleasant thing to find
+yourself falling back on old favourites and losing interest in the
+current hour. I knew a happy old gentleman whose reading was confined to
+Walter Scott. Every evening the lamp was lighted in the trim snuggery,
+and the appropriate _Waverley_ taken down from the shelf. For such a man
+to begin a new novel would have been as irksome as travelling in a
+foreign land."
+
+I am bound to say that I have great sympathy with the sentiments I have
+quoted from the speech of this kilted critic. If it were possible to
+retain the elasticity and adjustableness of the mind till the end of
+life, new authors would perhaps fix our attention as much as the old.
+But only a limited number of articulate-speaking men, such as the
+omnivorous Professor Saintsbury of Edinburgh, preserve their appetite
+tireless and intact. The Professor, like a literary Livingstone, can
+grapple with the most arid and dusty libraries, and is the envy of all
+scholars; but, alas! the majority of us have to take something less than
+the whole of knowledge for our province.
+
+It must not be supposed that all the remarks made at these meetings were
+like those I have quoted. An airy irrelevancy was quite as common as the
+serious note.
+
+
+VARIETIES OF CHAIRMEN.
+
+I have had experience of hundreds of chairmen, and admired most of them.
+It is rather a painful thing to have one who is utterly unversed in
+speaking. I remember being introduced in the ante-room to the chairman
+of the evening, and, big bucolic giant as he was, he seemed fearfully
+perturbed. His hand trembled, his lips were ashy-gray, and his laugh was
+a nervous grin. "I am not much used to this sort of thing," said he,
+with a poor attempt at mirth and a furtive movement of his hand to his
+waistcoat pocket, where he had his introductory speech. "All you have to
+do is to introduce me," I hinted; "you needn't say much." On the
+platform he shook so much that the whole structure quivered. He rose,
+and was received with loud applause. Happily he did not read his speech,
+but simply pointed to me and said, "G-g-go on." He sank in his chair,
+while runnels of sweat coursed down his cheeks. I admired that chairman
+more than one in Caithness, who, after angling for the honour of taking
+the chair, grew so terrified towards the hour of meeting, that he went
+to bed and sent word he couldn't be present owing to flying pains in his
+leg! In country districts, reluctance to take the chair arises from a
+man's fear of making himself ridiculous; once he cuts a poor figure in
+public, discredit is for ever attached to his name.
+
+Highlanders as a rule make excellent chairmen. The superior gifts of the
+Celtic mind, in imagination and wealth of florid expression, nowhere
+show themselves to better purpose than when compliments have to be paid.
+Then again, the kilt is very impressive on a brawny chairman's legs: it
+commands attention and respect at once. I have little knowledge of
+colloquial Gaelic, though I have studied the grammar, and have some
+skill in reading. A little Gaelic goes a long way in stirring the soul
+of a Highland audience. Often I have heard a kilted chairman quitting
+his English for a little and giving the audience a mellifluous Ossianic
+sentence or two. The effect was electric: eyes gleamed, breath came
+quick and fast, the souls of the hearers seemed to have tasted a tonic.
+Spoken Gaelic is akin to the elements: it has a mystic affinity with the
+winds that sough around the flanks of the mountains and along the
+surface of the lonely lochs. There is perhaps not much business
+precision about it, but for preaching, praying, and poetry, it is a
+splendid medium.
+
+In Arran, a jovial chairman thus introduced me: "Before I left home, I
+thought of a great many nice things to say as a preface to the remarks
+of our friend from Paisley. (Here he coughed violently.) Unfortunately,
+I am unable to bestow these tit-bits on the audience owing to a
+_kittlin'_ in my throat. Instead of saying what I meant to say, I think
+I had better tell you a story. A minister one Sunday had occasion to be
+highly displeased with the precentor, who broke down twice in quite a
+simple psalm-tune. 'Excuse me, minister,' said the precentor, 'but I've
+got a kittlin' in my throat this morning.' '_Kittlin'!_' hissed the holy
+man in scornful wrath: '_it's mair like a big tom-cat_.' Ladies and
+gentlemen, after these few and decidedly imperfect remarks, I resume my
+seat, merely expressing the hope that our friend will feel himself as
+much at home here as the deil did in the Court of Session."
+
+Another chairman in an adjoining island, while engaged in tremulously
+reading his introductory speech, came to a sudden stop. An irreverent
+youth shouted, "_Is that a blot?_" After the laughter provoked by this
+query had subsided, the chairman said: "I feel to-night like a square
+pin in a round hole, or rather, like the Irishman who, when asked if he
+was dead, replied, '_No, I'm not dead, I'm only spacheless._'" Having
+said these words with a weird attempt at mirth, the chairman sat down
+too hurriedly, and struck his head so violently against the back of his
+chair, that the noise of the impact was heard in every part of the hall.
+
+I may hint to anyone who lectures or preaches in the Highlands, not to
+adopt a patronising attitude or make it appear that he is talking down
+to the audience. Such a feature would be at once detected and deeply
+resented. A well-known Professor lectured to a Bute audience on
+Electricity, and out of ignorance, spoke in a very elementary way to the
+audience, defining the simplest terms, and interspersing a great many
+"_you know's_" and "_you see's_." The chairman, in proposing a vote of
+thanks, slyly remarked: "We have listened to-night to a very good
+discourse, and I'm only sorry there are so few young people here. Next
+time the Professor comes to speak to us, I hope to see all the
+school-children in the hall, for the lecture to-night was admirably
+adapted to their capacity."
+
+
+COMING TO THE POINT.
+
+A very loquacious lawyer proposed a vote of thanks to the chairman in
+the following fashion: "Ladies and gentlemen," he said, "it is often a
+very difficult thing to come to the point. When I was at College, I
+consented once to write an essay on 'The Progress of America,' the
+subject being one of my own choosing. I wrote twenty-five pages of
+preliminary matter, and at the end of my writing, I found that Columbus
+was not landed. As my essay was to bring my hearers up-to-date on
+American progress, I became nettled at my failure to _get Columbus
+ashore_ and went round canvassing among my friends to secure a
+substitute. No one would relieve me, so I was forced to slaughter an
+aunt. I was wired for, by arrangement, on the day before the meeting,
+and responded with great alacrity, knowing that there would be no
+funeral. Without wasting more words let me on _this_ occasion come to
+the point, and ask you to accord to our worthy chairman a very hearty
+vote of thanks for the brilliant way in which he has kept us all in
+order this evening."
+
+
+MORAL OBLIGATION.
+
+A minister of a western parish thought it his duty, in the course of his
+introductory speech, to make some jovial remarks on the subject of
+conscience and moral obligation. "A student of my acquaintance," said
+he, "went to Arrochar on Loch Long by excursion steamer. At mid-day,
+being thirsty, he _drifted thoughtlessly_ into the hotel and asked for a
+cup of tea. With this beverage he washed over some dry biscuits he had
+brought with him from home. Imagine his surprise on being told that the
+cup of tea would cost him two shillings. Bang went not one sixpence but
+four! He looked at the maid and his breath came quick and fast; but he
+counted out the money nevertheless. Having occasion to visit the
+bathroom to cool his throbbing brow, he perceived a razor on a little
+shelf near the mirror there. At once he pocketed this razor and made
+off, whistling _Scots Wha Hae_. He had recouped himself for the
+overcharge on the cup of tea. Strange to say, every time he shaved with
+the stolen razor he feared some impending calamity. He knew enough Greek
+to be aware that Ajax committed suicide with the very sword that hero
+got from the enemy. Whenever the student disfigured his chin and
+reddened the lather with a new-made gash, he felt in his inmost soul
+that a Nemesis was being wrought out. _By this simple tale, my friends,
+one may see the sovereign power of conscience, which, though dormant for
+a time, invariably asserts itself and flogs the culprit._"
+
+
+COMPLIMENT TO PAISLEY.
+
+The following remarks made by a speaker at one of the meetings are worth
+citing: "I do not wish our Paisley friend," he said, "to go back to the
+banks of the Cart under the impression that we are not a very literary
+people up here in Ross-shire. On the contrary, we are clean gone on
+literature. Just look at our syllabus! One night we have a discussion on
+Shakespeare. Eh? What do you think of that? Shakespeare no less! Next
+night we deal with _an equally great poet--Tannahill_." (No doubt the
+speaker meant to compliment Paisley in thus comparing the author of
+_Lear_ and _Hamlet_ with the poet-laureate of the loom.) I have heard
+Milton's _Paradise Lost_ and Pollok's _Course of Time_ clashed together
+in the same ludicrous way. I was dreadfully nonplussed on one occasion
+by hearing a speaker strongly recommend the audience to give their days
+and nights to the study of Bunyan and M'Cheyne. "Bunyan by all means,"
+said I to myself, "but who is M'Cheyne that one should be mindful of him
+and put him for importance alongside of the immortal tinker?"
+
+
+ORATORY AT SALEN.
+
+I shall never forget a vote of thanks proposed in my hearing by the
+excellent doctor of Salen, a pleasant little place situated on a
+V-shaped creek of Loch Sunart. I never expect to meet a more genial or
+more humorous man than the doctor, on this side of eternity. He knows
+the roads of gusty Ardnamurchan better than any other living man, and,
+night and day, by sun and by moon, in weather of clear blue, and under
+the eddying blinding flakes, he is ever on the move. He found time to
+come to the meeting and propose a vote of thanks to the donor of the
+library. Everyone listened intently to him as he stood there in his
+professional frock-coat,--a thin, wiry, twinkling-eyed gentleman. "If
+the donor by any chance," said he, looking at me, "should ever sail up
+Loch Sunart in his yacht, and land among the people of Salen, to whom
+his books have given such pleasure, I should advise him not to stand too
+near the edge of the pier, for fear some of the grateful natives might
+push him over into the loch, _in order to have the pleasure of saving
+his life!_" This unexpected sally convulsed the audience, and gave a gay
+and rollicking touch to the speeches that came after. Mr. M'Gregor, a
+farmer from Resipol, broad and brawny, rose to make a few remarks. The
+schoolhouse was very hot and close, but he disdained to throw off the
+thick and ample Highland cloak which he had on, and which he had worn
+all day at the Oban Cattle Show, and on the deck of the boat that had
+brought him thence. Mr. M'Gregor had been much struck by my remarks on
+the knights of King Arthur, and their custom of sitting at the Round
+Table, to avoid questions of precedence. He spoke to this effect: "I do
+not wish the lecturer to go back to Paisley under the impression that
+Salen is not a very bye-ordinary and consequential place. We have a
+fleet of yachts out there, the like of which is not to be seen _between
+this and Manch-oo-ria_. We have a blacksmith that can preach and quote
+Scripture as well as any D.D. in the land; my friend the grocer over
+there, will give you such bargains as you could never get in
+Sauchie-_hall_ Street; and we have a choir here that might give the
+angels singing-lessons. I am a very modest man, but I would like to say
+just a word about this Round Table business. The lecturer says the Table
+was round so that every knight might be at the head of it. That's the
+theory, but what's the fact? I'll tell you. _One of King Arthur's
+knights was an ancestor of mine, and his name was M'Greegor._[12] Now,
+wherever M'Greegor sat, that was always considered the head of the
+table." This contribution to Arthurian criticism was delivered with such
+force, faith, and genial glee, that no one, considering the powerful
+muscles of the speaker, was disposed to question it. (Mr. M'Gregor's
+eulogy of Salen did not comprise a reference to the local hotel, which
+is conducted on the Gothenburg system. It is comfortable and snug, but
+not whole-heartedly patronised by some of the natives, as they consider
+the system is an un-Celtic innovation, and believe further that every
+drink they take is written down in a big book with an alphabet on the
+edge of the leaves to facilitate reference).
+
+ [12] Judging from the number of clans that make a similar claim,
+ we might fancy that all King Arthur's knights
+
+ "Gartened low their leg,
+ And rowed their hurdies in a philabeg."
+
+
+
+
+LECTURE IN A DUNGEON, ETC.
+
+I have an agreeable recollection of my stay in Saddell, on the coast of
+Kintyre, as the guest of Colonel Macleod, son of the never-to-be-forgotten
+Dr. Norman Macleod. The Colonel was born in 1820, was present at the
+Eglinton Tournament, and is, to-day, in spite of his eighty-eight
+years, hale in body, sound of wind, and perfectly clear in the
+intellect. He is a walking encyclopædia of all the social and political
+changes that have come about since the accession of Victoria. He is also
+an authority on live stock, and it is intensely amusing to see his
+horses scampering from the far-end of the field when they see him, in
+the hope of getting some of the bits of sugar he always carries in his
+pocket for their benefit.
+
+The school-house being badly situated for the convenience of the people,
+the meeting was held in the _dungeon of the old castle_, a spacious and
+airy place quite near the beach. Altogether, I reckon this meeting as
+the drollest in all my experience. There were no windows in the
+overhanging vaulted roof, and the long stone stair leading to the ground
+above, was filled with the audience that could not get accommodation
+below. The aged Colonel presided over about one hundred prisoners, and
+humorously remarked that the table at which he was standing, was really
+a _patent incubating apparatus_, under which four dozen of Mrs.
+Macleod's chickens were coming to maturity. He hoped these embryo fowls
+would not interrupt the lecture by any unseemly remarks. At the risk of
+wearying the chickens, I spoke for an hour and a half, dealing in the
+course of my remarks (to be as apposite as possible) with the dungeon
+scene in "The Legend of Montrose," where Dugald Dalgetty squeezes the
+windpipe of the Duke of Argyll.
+
+In one little village hall in Kintyre, I was much perturbed by some of
+the placards that had been placed on the walls. The hall had been used
+for evangelical purposes, and there, facing me, in yard-long type, was
+the dreadful command, _Get right with God_. To speak on Hood and his
+puns with those colossal letters burning their message into your soul,
+would need nerves of steel. I have not nerves of steel, and I felt
+dreadfully incommoded by the bill. For the space of five minutes I might
+occasionally forget it, and then, in the midst of some light and
+skittish quotation, my eye would light upon it, and the verses would
+come feebly and falteringly off the tongue. _Vox faucibus haesit._
+
+
+SURPRISES.
+
+My narrative would be lacking in completeness if I did not frankly
+confess that I have sometimes met with humiliations of a kind to wring
+the heart and call forth a sigh. In one nook of the north I stayed in
+the manse of an excellent clergyman, an eloquent preacher, but austere
+and extremely devout. He took the chair at the lecture, which was very
+well attended. Before the meeting began I was told that a local
+gentleman wished to ask me _an important question_. This was good news
+for me, as I thought the inquirer might have some literary difficulty
+which it would be profitable to handle in the course of my remarks. The
+anxious enquirer proved to be the local hotel-keeper, who, in a deadly
+earnest whisper made the following request: "You have a big meeting," he
+said, "and it's not likely there will be such a number of people so near
+my hotel for many a long day. _Would it be asking too much of you to
+finish up about half-past nine and give the audience time to sample
+some of my commodities before departing homewards?_ It's chiefly the
+minister I have to fear; for if he suspects I wish to do business, he'll
+prolong the vote of thanks till after the stroke of ten."
+
+One of my compensations in wandering Scotland thorough has been the
+heartfelt but rather naïve way in which some of the provincials have
+expressed their gratitude. "_I've paid half-a-crown for worse_," said an
+old man of Ross to me, shaking me warmly by the hand and believing he
+was uttering a most delicate and hyperbolical compliment. (Now, during
+my remarks, I had noticed this man taking copious pinches of snuff to
+enable him, as I suspected, to sit out the meeting.) Another rustic,
+this time an Aberdonian, was impressed by the number of authors
+mentioned and the copious citations from their works. "Heavens!" he
+cried, "what a memory that man has! That's the kind of partner I should
+like to have at whist: he would never forget the cards that were out."
+
+I know not whether to laugh or weep when I think of the occasion on
+which the following charmingly irrelevant remarks were made to me: "We
+are all proud of our village library and _even prouder of the feeling
+that prompted such a gift_. I am reminded," the speaker went on to say,
+"of a cousin of mine who got a present of exquisite fruit (preserved in
+wine) from a friend in a distant part of the country. He wrote to the
+donor saying, 'Your fruit is delicious: I like it very much; but I like
+even more _the spirit in which it has been sent_.'"
+
+
+A VISIT TO THE BORDERS.
+
+In order that these pages may fitly represent all the districts of
+Caledonia that I have traversed as an uncommercial traveller, I should
+like to give a short sketch of how I reached Tweedside by way of Lanark,
+at a season when the Glasgow people were beginning their Fair holidays.
+Winter, as I remarked, is the time I prefer for travelling, but untoward
+circumstances have now and again compelled me to be on the move when
+"mid-summer, like an army with banners, was marching through the
+mid-heavens."
+
+I may say at once that it is a great trial to leave Glasgow at that
+particular date. The city pours forth its myriads at such a time. The
+stations are surging and heaving with throngs of men, women, and
+children, all in a hurry and all impatient. Families by tens and dozens
+are swarming about. How pathetic it is to see the father with one child
+in his arms and two clinging to his coat-tails, while the mother (poor
+bedraggled soul) is vainly striving to quieten a squalling fourth! Some
+children have lost their parents, and grope about underneath, nipping
+the legs of tourists to attract attention and get hold of the right
+father; others fall among bales of strawberries that were pulled
+yesterday in the fresh country air, but are now being trampled into gory
+pulp. Even in the fetid and dust-laden air, rendered almost unbearable
+by the hot sunlight that blazes through the overarching glass of the
+station roof, Cupid twangs his arrows, and soft eyes speak love to eyes
+that speak again. Suddenly the train arrives, and on the already
+crowded platform lands the human freight of twenty carriages--a fresh
+addition to the welter and confusion worse confounded. What a wealth of
+language one hears! Cyclists tinkle with bell and horn to secure the
+needed lane of passage. Porters, in desperate madness, throw wooden
+boxes down and rope-tied trunks of tin with little sympathy for injured
+knees and fiery corns. The train just in will shortly leave with a new
+load of passengers. A rush is made for the vacated seats: in tumbles the
+surging crowd without regard for the class of ticket they have
+purchased. A score of occupants per carriage is about the average; many
+swarm into the guard's van, where they are regaled with pandemoniac
+odours of ancient fish and decaying vegetables. The heavy train at
+length steams out into the open, and in an hour's time Lanark is
+reached. "_God made the country and man made the town_" is the
+involuntary reflection of the city man as he steps out of the train and
+breathes the fresh air of the hills.
+
+From Lanark to Peebles, by road, is thirty miles. The track is
+excellent, and if the wind is not adversely strong the joy of cycling
+the distance is difficult to parallel.
+
+On this route, no lumbering vehicles, laden with heavy merchandise, tear
+up the soil into ruts. No cab-drivers cast sarcastic remarks at you from
+their high perch. The only annoyance comes from the cast-off nail of a
+horse-shoe or the sharp splinter of a macadamised stone. The air is as
+fresh as on Creation's morn. Up hill and down again one can hurry on
+without ever touching the brake. For the first ten miles, the stately
+bulk of Tinto dominates the landscape. What a splendid range of scenery
+the eye could grasp from the high vantage-ground of its summit in clear
+weather! As one approaches the base of the big hill, the road turns
+sharply to the east, and you feel about your ears innumerable breezes
+that blow along from the little glens leading down from Tinto's breast.
+By and by, the clean, trim, little town of Biggar appears. (The
+inhabitants are proud of the fact that John Brown, author of the
+beautiful story, _Rab and his Frien's_, was a native of the town.) One
+notices the name of Gladstone prominent above the shops, and it is a
+fact that the ancestors of the Grand Old Man were, in the days of yore,
+denizens of those quiet hamlets. After a short rest here, we (for you
+are with me, _ami lecteur_) shoot on and pass the sleepy street of
+Broughton, lying clear and radiant in the slanting rays of the sun. Here
+is the ideal spot for a country clergyman in love with Hebrew roots and
+gardening and quiet contemplation. Soon we strike the tiny waters of the
+infant Tweed, prattling and gushing up and bubbling clear over its
+snow-white pebbles. Now the breeze of gloaming blows more snell. Away
+low in the west the sun begins to gather golden clouds in pomp around
+his setting. A gorgeous glimmer, gold and red, is thrown over the whole
+sky. Keeping close beside the ever-widening stream, we dash through
+little clachans on the bank, beneath long, over-arching avenues of
+trees, and past the gates of ivy-mantled homes of blessed outlook. Here
+a croquet party stops playing, for the grass is getting wet with
+evening dew, and there, in the river, and up to the knees in it, are
+half a dozen anglers sweeping the wave with their spurious fly. Peebles
+is not far off, and the quiet nooks of the high road are filled with
+pedestrians. The entrance to Peebles is exquisite. The long rows of
+trees, the situation of the road high above the river in the dell,
+combine to make an eerie blend of sound from sighing leaves and gurgling
+waters. An old Border peel, Needpath Castle, stands near the straggling
+outskirts of the town, and proves, by its choice situation on the knoll,
+that our cattle-reiving ancestors were quite alive to the advantages of
+a good view. It was a stirring quarter here in the days of the old
+Scotch kings. The deadly thrust of lance has reddened every burn in the
+wide Borderland. Every brae has had its gory bicker.
+
+On this _tournée_ I had the pleasure of giving a lecture on "Scotch
+Ballads," at a little village not more than half a mile from the
+birthplace of Dandie Dinmont. The place was full of sturdy, firm-knit
+Borderers, descendants of the dare-devil troopers who wrought such
+devastation along the Marches when the Stuarts reigned in Holyrood.
+Fresh, ruddy faces, coloured by breeze and sun; hard, keen, inquisitive
+looks; intelligence such as comes from knowledge of nature, hereditary
+quickness and good circulation of blood: all these could be instantly
+seen by glancing round the audience. (How insignificant a mere bookworm
+or scholar feels among a company of brawny Liddesdale farmers!) During
+the lecture, it was easy to note by the grim smile on their faces, their
+flashing eyes and the way they gripped their big sticks, that the old
+stirring rhymes of fight struck a sympathetic chord in their hearts. Now
+and again, during the address, one could see the lips of the listeners
+moving in soft repetition of the lines, as some typical quotations were
+being made.
+
+It is not likely that there has been much change or influx of population
+in these districts for centuries. The alertness and intelligence of the
+natives must be to some extent an inheritance from the generations of
+strenuous clansmen whose blood flows in their veins. Life in a
+historical district is bound to have an ennobling effect on a man,
+especially if he feels knit to the past by lineal descent from the
+historical actors. A glamour of romance clings to hill and glen. The
+dalesman you meet on the highway can tell you all the lore of his
+parish, giving dates and citing illustrative lays. It is pleasant to
+find that the stories of the Borderland are still known where they first
+took birth, and that the local names, which to students instantly
+suggest delightful bits of rhyme, have also to those who dwell near
+them, a romance that is borrowed from the olden time.[13]
+
+Anyone who has travelled in the shires that run along the Cheviots and
+the Tweed, will conclude that poetry and romance may ever find a home
+there. The hills, with their green pastoral slopes and abundant leafage,
+are a delight to the eye in fresh spring and tinted fall. The sound of
+the streams, as Ruskin has pointed out, is sweet and rhythmic to an
+extraordinary degree, combining with the sough of the winds to form an
+undersong of Nature's own melody. As the traveller drives or cycles
+along the roads, he now and again gets such impressive vistas of
+long-stretching waterways, wooded to the brink with graceful trees, as
+grave themselves on the memory for evermore. For rock, crag, and dashing
+linn, the northern Highlands are supreme; but in the green Borderland,
+there is a more sedate and proportioned beauty. Nature is none the less
+attractive for losing somewhat of her wildness and austerity.
+
+ [13] A favourite and appropriate book in this part of Scotland is
+ Wilson's _Tales of the Borders_. There are not many farm-houses
+ in the Lowlands of Scotland in which one does not find old
+ copies, bound and unbound, of Wilson's _Tales_. Usually they show
+ unmistakable evidence of having been frequently perused. One is
+ bound to admit that the modern reader, if he spends an evening
+ turning over these old pages, will find little reason to pride
+ himself on the superiority of the popular reading of to-day. The
+ short story, now in vogue, may be finely illustrated, and highly
+ sensational, but its matter is certainly inferior, as a rule, to
+ the general run of Wilson's stories. Wilson, in his humble way,
+ was a gleaner in the field so richly harvested by Sir Walter
+ Scott. _The Minstrelsy of the Scottish Border_ had called
+ attention to the great stores of poetry and romance lingering
+ among the peasantry of the Debateable Land. Wilson's _Tales_
+ showed how much of the old spirit remained more than two
+ centuries after the Union, and, in spite of all Christianity and
+ an orderly Government had done for the softening of manners.
+ Hogg, in speaking of his own countryside, said: "The poor people
+ of these glens know no other entertainment in the long winter
+ nights than repeating and listening to the feats of their
+ ancestors recorded in songs which I believe to have been handed
+ down from father to son for many generations." Wilson and his
+ successors gathered up as much of the romantic material as they
+ found available, and printed it for the delight of their
+ generation.
+
+
+TARBOLTON.
+
+In the agricultural lowlands of Scotland it is not rare to come upon
+little villages that seem entirely left behind by modern progress. Not
+long ago my work took me to Tarbolton, a quiet, uneven village in the
+heart of the queenly shire of Ayr. The railway company has treated the
+place very badly: a full fifteen minutes' drive is needed to reach the
+town from the station. It is as if the company said: "Make what you can
+of our line, ye insignificant Tarboltonians; our trains are in a hurry
+to get from Ayr to Muirkirk; be thankful if we set you down only three
+miles from your home." If it is not wet, the drive is a grand one. Five
+miles to the right, Mauchline shows its red complexion on the green
+hillside, and awakens lyric memories of Burns's imperishable mouse and
+share-torn gowan. Over the pasture lands on the right come freshening
+winds that hint of the heaving Firth not far away. The road pursued by
+the coach meanders among all that is best of rural and pastoral scenery,
+for coaly Annbank, defaced by the exhumed entrails of the earth, is
+happily on the rear. At a turn of the road, a majestic spire, that of
+Tarbolton Parish Church, suddenly stands before the view of the
+traveller, and suggests Eternity even when tolling the hours of Time.
+Soon the village is reached, and one is in a position to form an idea of
+eighteenth century Scotland. The main street is built with that
+irregularity so charmingly illustrative of the evolution of the
+builder's art. Old cots roofed with thatch take the mind back to the
+time when George I. was defending the faith and maltreating his wife.
+Side by side with such are trim two-storey houses with all modern
+elegancies.
+
+I have a pleasant recollection of this interesting village, not merely
+from its associations with Burns (which Mr. T.F. Henderson in a dainty
+little book has recently recounted anew), but also from the fact that
+the natives keep alive the literary traditions of the place in quite a
+worthy way. The local baker has written a fluent volume of Essays
+dealing with village incidents and worthies, which proves, as Mr. Barrie
+says, that life in every stage, if truthfully portrayed, is intensely
+interesting, and that every window-blind is the curtain for some tragedy
+or comedy.
+
+
+THE SCOTCH LANGUAGE.
+
+Very fine Scotch is still spoken in the rural districts of Ayrshire, and
+most of Burns's dialect words are in daily use, at least by the older
+generation. The Education Department has most wisely given encouragement
+to the study of Lowland Scotch, and I do not see why a special grant
+should not be given for special excellence in that department. Some
+national movement for a complete Dictionary of Modern Scotch with
+explanations in up-to-date philology ought to be organised.
+
+During the lifetime of Sir Walter Scott, Dr. Jamieson published the
+famous _Scottish Dictionary_, which still holds the field as the most
+elaborate compendium of the Lowland dialects. Looked at in the light of
+modern science, the derivations are often absurd and fanciful.
+Jamieson's love for Gothic parallels led him constantly astray.
+Nevertheless, his dictionary, as amended by various revisers, remains a
+stately monument of industry and a necessary adjunct in the study of the
+Scotch language.
+
+In our own day, Dr. Murray of Oxford has compiled an illuminating
+grammar of the language, indicating the various dialects of the Lowlands
+and their geographical areas. Local antiquarians have also written out
+lists of words special to particular counties. Dialect books, such as
+the entertaining _Johnnie Gibb of Gushetneuk_, as well as Mr. Barrie's
+delightful sketches, have put excellent specimens of provincial speech
+within the hands of a wide circle of readers. A good dictionary of
+modern Scotch, dealing with what has been written during the last two
+centuries, would be a very useful and a very interesting compendium. It
+would show that a great many expressive words employed by thirteenth
+century English writers are still in use on the Scotch side of the
+Border.
+
+There is no denying the fact that book-English will soon push out the
+relics of the old Scotch tongue. Burns will soon be read by lexicon,
+even in the shire of Ayr. Men now write poetry in Scotch as boys at Eton
+and Harrow write Latin verses, the result in both cases being, as a
+rule, hideous and artificial doggrel. The little book, _Wee Macgregor_,
+written in what may be called the Scotch Cockney dialect, was a brave
+and amusing attempt to phonograph the talk of a Glasgow boy of the lower
+middle class. The unlovely speech employed by the author is, happily,
+quite unlike the careful and deliberate speech of the educated citizen
+of Glasgow or Paisley. The main differences between the educated Scot
+and the educated Englishman are that the vowel sounds of the former are
+pure and that _r_ and _h_ have a real value in most words where these
+letters occur.
+
+It seems to me a _very undesirable_ thing that a uniform system of
+pronunciation should be aimed at in every country of the British Isles.
+So long as clear and expressive enunciation of English is attained,
+intelligible differences of vocalisation, pitch, and even of vocabulary,
+are allowable, and at times positively charming. Monotony is the bane of
+life.
+
+
+CHOICE BOOKS.
+
+ "Whether the books are borrowed books or no
+ That show their varied stature row on row
+ Along your walls, there will I truly find
+ The image of your character and mind.
+ Light, flimsy novels suit the flying train
+ Or _Western Isle_ excursions of Macbrayne,
+ Where, dazed by gleaming firths of visible heat,
+ The torpid soul disdains substantial meat;
+ But oft-read volumes, to which men recur
+ The whole year round, bespeak the character."
+
+The above lines, written by some unknown poetaster, indicate that it is
+the book we read over and over again that has the greatest potency in
+our education. I quite agree with the author, and I love to behold the
+well-thumbed pocket-edition that speaks to the eye of much handling and
+frequent perusal. There are very few books _worth_ reading once that are
+not worth reading oftener. Hobbes used to say that if he had read as
+much literature as the majority of men, he would have been as ignorant
+as they. In that remark what depths of meaning lie! The sage of
+Malmesbury attributed his success in philosophy to his habit of
+judicious selection--to the fact that he concentrated his attention on
+those authors who were likely to help the development of his powers.
+Selection is more required now than in Hobbes's time. Few men would care
+to read more than a hundred books through in a year, and yet there are
+twenty thousand volumes added annually to the shelves of the British
+Museum.
+
+
+THE ESSAYISTS.
+
+It has been my privilege, during the last three or four years, to
+examine with more or less care something like four hundred bookcases,
+containing works on all departments of literature. _I am inclined to
+turn away in disgust if the Essayists are not patronised._
+
+Those delightful Essayists! Happy is the man who has his shelves full of
+them--writers who talk sense with wanton heed and giddy cunning, who
+spread their souls out on paper, who disarm hostility by taking you
+completely into their confidence. Addison, with the roguish gleam in his
+eye as he is calculating the number of sponges in the cost of a lady's
+finery; Goldsmith, in his London garret, talking of the ludicrous
+escapades of the Man in Black; Lamb luxuriating in reminiscences of Old
+Benchers. All these splendid, unsystematic delights, mingled with the
+breezes of byegone summers and the sunsets of long ago! Old ghosts
+whisper you their secrets; you hear the brush of sweeping garments that
+have been moth-eaten these hundred years. Crowded streets of people
+appear before the eye of fancy--London in the days of Anne and the
+Georges. In the company of such wits, there are no slow-moving hours:
+you have in them friends who never need tire you, for should the
+slightest tedium intervene, you may, without offence, stop their flow of
+conversation. Our living intimates are prone to drynesses and huffs; but
+these old prattling wits ever welcome us with a smile of affability.
+
+
+A BANFF THEORY.
+
+While speaking of Essayists, I ought to mention a peculiar Banffshire
+theorist who addressed me in the following words: "Give me an old set of
+_Blackwood_ in the Kit North days, and I can easily forego your
+pinchbeck stories and propagandist novels of to-day. I put the most
+interesting period for reading at _sixty years ago_, and I think Scott
+must have known the charm of that number when he gave the alternative
+title to _Waverley_. It is pleasant to know how the world wagged when
+your grandfather was a ruddy egg-purloining rogue of five. When I read
+farther back than a century, I feel imagination flagging--the Merry
+Monarch is not much more to me than John the Baptist. But the men of the
+forties stand out clear and distinct. If I have never seen an
+out-and-out fiery Chartist, I have at least seen some smouldering
+specimens--men with much of the eloquence and a little of the enterprise
+of the original five-pointers. It may be that as I grow older, my most
+interesting historical period will move with me, keeping always at a
+distance of sixty years from the present, until, when I get within hail
+of the Psalmist's stint, I shall be most interested in childish things."
+These words rather staggered me, and set me thinking of geometrical
+_loci_. A man holding such views would find it difficult to obtain a
+bird's-eye view of history.
+
+
+GOLDSMITH IN GAELIC.
+
+If I had an adequate knowledge of Gaelic, combined with plenty of money
+and leisure, I should set myself the task of translating the whole of
+Goldsmith's Essays and Tales into that language, for the benefit of
+those who had no English. It would be a great feat if one could impress
+on the modern Celtic mind the conviction that piety and diversion are by
+no means incompatible. Goldsmith's _Auburn_ introduces us to the most
+delightful prospect on earth: a simple village community, unacquainted
+with luxury and uncorrupted by vice. The inhabitants are full of health
+and joy--they till the soil and gain ample satisfaction for their
+unambitious wants. Life passes along bringing a pleasant succession of
+happy hours. After the labours of the day, the young people dance
+merrily on the green, and the old folk look on and regret that their own
+legs are too stiff to keep time to the fiddles. Certain Highland
+landlords might also read with advantage the exquisitely pathetic lines
+in which the poet pictures the desolation and ruin of the rural
+paradise, and perhaps conclude therefrom that, when glen and strath are
+depleted of their inhabitants, and these latter driven over the seas to
+seek a foothold in strange lands, it is the very heart's blood of
+Britain that is being drained away.
+
+On the whole, probably no English writer has given such genuine delight
+as Goldsmith, and such genuine instruction too. Ineradicably frivolous,
+culpably negligent of the morrow, whimsically vain and living all his
+days from hand to mouth, he had the faculty of drawing upon himself the
+pity, and even the contempt, of his associates. But in the eyes of
+posterity, his happy-go-lucky life is amply redeemed by the work he has
+left behind him, for _it_ is pure and good. His river of speech flows
+ever on shining like molten gold. No man of his time possessed the
+adroit knack of bright writing in a more eminent degree. The pawky
+humour of his side-hits, the blending of light and shade in the process
+of the narrative, the beauty and melody that can be noted even in the
+sound of the sentences, combine to delight the judgment, the ear, and
+the fancy. Though the _Vicar of Wakefield_ is a prose production, it
+produces all the effect of a poem on the affections of the heart. Of
+wit, properly speaking, it is as full as any volume of _The Spectator_;
+with humour it is flooded from beginning to end; and in those pathetic
+delineations of life which no one can read without being profoundly
+touched, there are few poems so rich.
+
+
+BIBLIA ABIBLIA.
+
+In many (indeed most) houses I have visited, I see in the bookcase large
+publications in six or seven well-bound parts and as good as new,
+dealing with subjects of little interest to anyone who breathes the
+vital air of heaven. Such titles as _Science for All_, _The Thames from
+its Source to the Sea_, _The Queens of England_ are among the commonest
+on the boards of the books I allude to. The presence of these editions
+indicates that the possessor at a certain period of his life was shy and
+could not say _no_ to that limb of the Evil One--the book-canvasser. The
+latter individual is the forerunner of the colporteur, who will bring
+you, if you wish poetry, an edition of the works of Shakespeare which is
+peculiarly ill-adapted for holding in the hand and reading. The print is
+large, the page is in size like a miniature wall-map, and the
+illustrations are got up with an easy defiance of archeology. The
+annotations, though stolen, are distinguished for extreme futility.
+After you have begun the purchase of such a book, shame and chagrin
+drive you to attempt the study of it; but it is of no use, and on each
+occasion of the very regular advent of the colporteur, you are inclined
+to swear horribly, after which a period of extreme dejection supervenes
+when you recollect the many fine things you could purchase for the
+half-guinea periodically expended. The knowledge of human nature
+displayed by the man who books the order surpasses anything in the works
+of the analytical philosophers. Every artifice of attack is his, and he
+knows how to play on all the emotions so ably and exhaustively
+catalogued in the manuals of Professor Bain. I believe a gay and
+chaffing rejoinder is what he can least overcome. Suggest to him that
+you are far gone in poverty and offer to _sell_ him a few of your own
+books. Frequent exercise will confirm your principles, until finally,
+when you see one of the book-canvassing tribe, you will foresee half an
+hour's innocent amusement.
+
+Certain of the points he so feelingly brings before you may no doubt
+awaken a responsive echo in your own bosom. You are well aware, for
+example, that your knowledge of the Queens of England is culpably
+imperfect. You know you are never likely to go in steadily for the study
+of constitutional developments, and so are led to admit the
+reasonableness of tackling history from a lighter and more entertaining
+point of view. Again, as to the River Thames, one must really grant that
+a considerable amount of self-complacency and internal sunniness would
+result from the ability to contradict your friends as to the length in
+miles of some of its minor tributaries. In science, too, you are no
+Kepler or Linnaeus, and there is something satisfactory when pedants
+talk of orbits, planes, bulbs, or beetles, in being able to say that
+_you have a big book at home that tells all about those things_.
+
+Many people buy books, not because they have a present need for them,
+but on the chance that at some time in the future such volumes as they
+see for sale will solve a doubt or answer a need. The precise doubt or
+the pressing need rarely arises. I met a Celt who had bought a copy of
+Josephus in most irritating type, in the hope that it would help him to
+confute a Roman Catholic on the Power of the Keys. Then again, people of
+a wavering and bird-witted type of mind are constantly changing the
+subject of their interest: this month they are attacked by the _furor
+poeticus_, next month it will be a _furor botanicus_ or _politicus_.
+Each separate frenzy means expenditure. When Browning is the temporary
+subject of the mania, a host of expository books on that poet have to be
+purchased, all of which are duly consigned to the topmost shelves when
+the soreness of the fit is past. There is also a tendency to purchase,
+because on the chance opening of a book you light on something that
+pleases the whim of the moment. It is a thousand to one that when you
+have bought the book you will not find another item worth perusing in
+the entire contents. This tendency to buy a book in a panic may be
+neutralised by remembering the story (whether true or not) of Defoe, who
+is said to have boomed the languid sale of the dreary _Drelincourt on
+Death_ by means of a spicy little ghost story as introduction! Buy in
+haste, repent at leisure.
+
+
+SECOND-HAND BOOKS.
+
+It is a much pleasanter sight to my eyes to see a bookcase with
+second-hand books in it, for these are almost always bought to be read.
+In a teacher's house near Elgin, I recently saw a most remarkable
+collection--a veritable ragged regiment of books: single volumes of
+Plutarch, unexpurgated plays by Farquhar and Mrs. Behn, Civil War
+pamphlets, and rows of oddities. Mr. Forbes (the owner) was at one
+period of his life assistant in Falkirk, and every Saturday morning,
+rain or shine, he proceeded to the city of Glasgow, for no purpose but
+to roam through the dusty byeways and side streets in quest of
+bookstalls. He knew all the dealers by name, and they welcomed him, for
+he never left them without a purchase, however slight. It was a saying
+of his that while it took half-a-crown to purchase you two hours'
+amusement at a theatre, for a couple of shillings, or even less, you
+might divide out a whole Saturday most enjoyably in the old book-shops.
+He simply rioted in haggling over a threepenny piece. Even old Henderson
+feared him. This Henderson was a thirsty old bookseller who kept a shop
+at the corner of Cowcaddens and Ingram Street, and whose leading
+speciality was second-hand family Bibles, with the former genealogical
+leaf riven out and replaced by a clean sheet pasted in for the family of
+the next purchaser. To him, sitting enthroned on a pile of Bibles,
+Forbes, entering, spake: "Have you a copy of the _Lives of the Twelve
+Cæsars_?" "Aye, aye," said old Henderson, with a gracious smile;
+"_thirteen_ if you like." The copy of Suetonius was produced, and "How
+much do you want for Suet.?" queried Forbes. "Half-a-crown," said old
+Henderson. "I'll give you ninepence," said Forbes. "Make it
+one-and-six," said the bookseller, rising from his Biblical throne, "and
+the book's yours." "I'll give you a shilling and a half of whisky,"
+retorted Forbes. "Say a whole glass and the shilling, and we'll do
+business," quoth the vendor of volumes. This was agreed upon, and the
+two retired into the nearest dram-shop to conclude the bargain. Every
+Saturday evening, Forbes came home by the last train, carrying his
+bundle of volumes. He was careful to fumigate them for the purpose of
+destroying any microbes, and finally would sprinkle them with _eau de
+Cologne_ to make them tolerable to the nose. On Sunday, he enjoyed the
+luxury of desultory reading.
+
+Like Mr. Forbes, I enjoy a ramble among these old shops, and can say, as
+he said to me at parting:--
+
+ "I love the trundling stall
+ Where ragged authors wait the buyer's call,
+ Where, for the tariff of a modest supper,
+ You'll buy a twelvemonth's moral feast in Tupper;
+ Where Virgil's tome is labelled at a groat,
+ And twopence buys what tittering Flaccus wrote;
+ Where lie the quips of Addison and Steele,
+ And the thrice-blessed songs of Rob Mossgiel;
+ And some that resurrection seek in vain
+ From the swart dust that chokes the lumbering wain."
+
+
+FAVOURITES.
+
+I have often been asked: "You who are so much on the move, who have had
+so much train-travelling to do, what books would you recommend for a
+long railway journey?" I do not know that one man's likes and dislikes
+in reading are of value save as showing his own limitations, yet there
+are certain books of which I never tire. I never leave home without the
+following books handy for perusal: (i.) The _Odes of Horace_, (ii.) The
+_Sonnets of Shakespeare_, (iii.) A French novel and a few copies of the
+Paris _Matin_, (iv.) A Greek book of some kind, (v.) Pope or Addison,
+(vi.) Some Victorian classic. The list is varied enough, and has
+furnished me with much of the material for my speaking.
+
+
+HORACE.
+
+The pleasant thing about Horace is that his odes are so short: you can
+read one in a few minutes--shut your eyes and enjoy the mental taste of
+it--try to repeat it, and, if you fail, consult the original--then,
+finally (as Pope and many others have done), endeavour to find modern
+parallels. Suppose, _e.g._, you are reading, as is likely, the first Ode
+of the first Book, you might find present-day resemblances like the
+following:--
+
+_Curriculo pulverem._
+
+ What mad attractions sway the world!
+ Some are unhappy save when whirled
+ In motor cars that madly race,
+ To leave a stench in every place,
+ And maim those foolish folk that stray
+ Abroad upon the king's highway.
+
+_Tergeminis honoribus._
+
+ Yon babbling wight, of sense forlorn,
+ Who thinks himself a Gladstone born,
+ Although a bailie, still must strain
+ To gain himself a Provost's chain.
+ And, after that, the worthy prater
+ Aspires to be a legislator;
+ Dreams of St. Stephen's, where he sees
+ Himself hobnobbing with M.P.'s.
+
+_Patrios agros._
+
+ But Farmer Bob is somewhat saner--
+ He minds his stock and is the gainer;
+ Content to pass his life amid
+ The scenes that his old father did.
+ With hose in hand he cleans the byre,
+ And saves himself a menial's hire;
+ But gives his girls an education
+ That may unfit them for their station.
+ But don't ask Bob to tempt the tide,
+ Even on a turbine down the Clyde;
+ Neptune and Ceres don't agree,
+ And farmers hate the name of sea.
+
+_Mox reficit rates._
+
+ When Skipper Smith (whose usual goal
+ Is Campbeltown with Ayrshire coal)
+ Is labouring thro' Kilbrannan Sound,
+ He sighs for Troon and solid ground,
+ And swears, if he were safe on shore,
+ He'd never be a sailor more.
+ But once on shore--he thinks it dull,
+ And soon begins to tar the hull
+ And caulk the timbers of his ship:
+ "I'll try," he says, "another trip."
+
+_Lene Caput._
+
+ Some love to mangle turf: I see
+ Them drive their balls from sandy tee,
+ And think their day's delight begins
+ When they are up among the whins.
+ Some elders, full of godly zeal,
+ Turn crazy about rod and reel;
+ And ministers, reputed wise,
+ Take service with the Lord of Flies
+ (Beelzebub), and like the work
+ Better than prosing in a kirk.
+
+_Conjugis immemor._
+
+ Sir Samuel Crœsus (noble wight!
+ Who paid so dear to be a knight)
+ Forsakes his lady for the hills,
+ And aims at birds he never kills.
+ Too late in life he shouldered gun,
+ Breathless he toils beneath the sun,
+ Sips whisky every other minute,
+ Until his flask has nothing in it;
+ Then, at the end of strength and tether,
+ Falls tipsy in the blooming heather.
+
+_Praemia frontium._
+
+ But as for me, my wants are few:
+ £3,000 a year would do;
+ A villa built upon a height,
+ With ample view to left and right;
+ A garden with a sunny seat,
+ A grassy lawn with borders neat.
+ Inside, a study furnished well
+ (Like a true scholar's citadel)
+ With books and pipes and easy chairs;
+ Here, in despite of worldly cares,
+ If I should write a verse or two--
+ A lyric that a _judge_ like you
+ Could read, without once yawning, through--
+ I'd be as proud as any man
+ That scribbled since the world began.
+
+Horace is thus fit for all times and conjunctures, and is the most
+modern of all the Latin writers--
+
+ "Horace still charms with pleasing negligence,
+ And without method talks us into sense."
+
+The translation of Horace's Odes into modern speech is generally
+admitted to be one of the most difficult tasks to which a versifier can
+apply himself. And yet there is no task so often essayed. It is a common
+saying in France that, when a lawyer quits the bar and retires, he is
+certain to publish a new translation of Horace after a year or two's
+studious ease. M. Loubet, we know, is a zealous devotee of the Sabine
+bard. Not the least droll of Mr. Gladstone's many feats was the
+publication, shortly before his death, of a translation of Horace's
+Odes, a translation wholly worthless indeed, in spite of the writer's
+immense scholarship, but valuable as showing the fascination exercised
+by Horace over the most austere and ecclesiastical of minds. It seemed
+strange indeed to see the great statesman turn aside from his study of
+Butler and the Fathers of the Church, in order to put into English verse
+the gay, and often scandalous odes, of an old Pagan epicure. Mr. Morley,
+who revised the translation, must have smiled as he read the old man's
+rendering of--
+
+ "_Quis multa gracilis te puer in rosa._"
+
+It is a fact, I suppose, that poetic translations of Horace are rarely
+read, save by scholars, and the verdict is almost always unkind. Yet an
+excellent anthology could be compiled by selecting the happiest
+renderings of the most talented translators. Dryden's paraphrase of
+III., 29, has been uniformly praised, and was a great favourite of
+Thackeray's. Cowper's nimble wit and classic taste are seen in his
+translation of II., 10, an ode beautifully rendered also by Mr. William
+Watson. Sir Theodore Martin and Connington are always readable, Francis
+is uniformly insipid, and Professor Newman, with his metrical capers,
+absolutely absurd. Pope's "Imitations of Horace" are so brilliant, that
+no student of English literature can afford to neglect them. Pope's
+method of replacing ancient allusions by modern ones, was employed by
+Johnson in some magnificent renderings of Juvenal, and no doubt
+suggested to our Scotch vernacular poets a mode (still popular) of
+translating Horace into Doric speech. Our Scotch bards preferred, as a
+rule, to work on the Odes, and they succeeded best when they departed
+most widely from the Latin text.
+
+
+SHAKESPEARE'S SONNETS.
+
+The same blessed quality of brevity that attracts one in Horace is to me
+one of the recommendations of Shakespeare's Sonnets. I am glad the
+mystery of them is never likely to be discovered. From frequent perusal
+of them in the train, I know the majority by heart, but despair of
+finding any cryptogram in them.
+
+The cord on which these exquisite beads of poetry are strung is of the
+most flimsy and frayed character. In other words, the characters are all
+bad, and the verses that laud them are of the utmost brilliancy and
+fascination. The poet himself supplies material that would justify us in
+stigmatising his friend as a heartless and dissipated rogue. He also
+lets us know that the pale-faced lady was an unwholesome and treacherous
+minx. Yet he addresses the one in language that would be too laudatory
+for Sir Galahad, and the other he idolises and insults by turns.
+
+How strange it is that the poet, while lingering fondly over the doings
+of these two un-moral persons, should give utterance to some of the most
+impressive lines in English literature! Certain of the sonnets pierce
+the heart as with an arrow: such are those that deal, in broad and
+pathetic fashion, with the ceaseless flux of all things human, the grim
+realities of the grave, the ruthless sequence of earthly events, and the
+measureless melancholy of the reflecting mind. The effect produced is
+often like what we experience in reading Ecclesiastes or Omar Khayyam.
+"Golden lads and lasses must, like chimney-sweepers, turn to dust."
+
+Though Shakespeare is dolefully impressed by the decay and destruction
+of all material things and by the evanescent nature of beauty, he has no
+doubt whatever of the immortality of the verses he is writing. He vaunts
+as boldly as ever Horace did--indeed, in words that suggest the _Exegi
+monumentum_ ode--that his verses will outlast the proudest works of man.
+It is a sorry anti-climax to such a boast that the poet harps on the
+immortality of the dissolute youth as a consequence of the sonnets
+having an eternity of renown. Was there ever such a puzzling and
+unworthy association of ideas? The puzzle is rendered more perplexing
+still by the fact that Shakespeare took no pains to enlighten posterity
+as to the identity of the youth he praises, or even to supervise the
+publication of the sonnets. Thorpe's piratical edition was full of
+misprints, but Shakespeare, so far as we know, took no notice of it, and
+made no attempt, by giving the world a correct and authentic version, to
+secure what his verses declare him to be anxious to bring about, viz.,
+the renown of his friend among generations to come. For us the youth
+still exists, no doubt, but not as an historical character. _He takes
+his place among the creatures of the poets imagination, and is far more
+of a shadow or phantom than any one of them._[14]
+
+_If we suppose_ the sonnets to be connected with real life, it is not
+easy to understand why the radiant youth, "the world's fresh ornament,"
+"only herald to the gaudy spring," etc., should need such an amount of
+persuasion to marry. Seventeen sonnets of great poetical beauty and
+felicitous language are devoted to this object. It is an exquisite treat
+to read them as works of art, but taken literally they are unspeakably
+absurd. No sane man would draw out such lengths of linked sweetness for
+the purpose named; nor would any youth, however credulous, _take the
+sonnets at their face value_. Shakespeare is merely practising his art,
+and we may be perfectly sure that these "sugared" sonnets (as Meres
+calls them), if they did circulate among the poet's private friends,
+were regarded as rhetorical exercises. They are intensely interesting,
+as showing the overpoweringly dramatic nature of Shakespeare's genius.
+Being impressed with the desirability of perpetuating beauty, he is
+driven to express the idea in the conventional form of a
+sonnet-sequence. The result is an exhaustiveness of treatment, a wealth
+of imaginative ornament, and a dramatic vividness of presentation that
+makes the reader marvel how so much could be made out of so little.
+
+ [14] Mr. Lee has collected an amount of evidence which seems to
+ prove that T. T., _i.e._, Thomas Thorpe, who wrote the
+ dedication, was not only a piratical publisher, but also a
+ humourist. The dedication, read in the light of these
+ observations, acquires a character of jocularity, and _begetter_
+ means _procurer_ or _getter_. Thorpe thus becomes what we know
+ Curll to have been a century later, a printer of stolen copy,
+ with a turn for cynical waggery. Mr. W. H., the begetter,
+ accordingly, is not a glittering aristocrat, but an unscrupulous
+ go-between, who has made free with somebody's escritoire, and
+ handed the sonnets over to the gay T. T.!
+
+
+XENOPHON.
+
+There is one Greek book, of which I have gone through three or four
+copies by carrying it about in the pocket for my _moments perdus_. I
+refer to the _Economist_ of Xenophon, a gem of a book, and one on which
+I have often lectured. The title is not an attractive one, but the body
+of the work is charming in the highest degree, and gives a better notion
+of ancient Greek life than any other book in existence. Ruskin, who had
+an unerring instinct for good literature, got two of his disciples to
+put the book into English, himself furnishing a preface of
+characteristic insight and brilliancy. He might well do such homage to
+the old Greek soldier, for the _Economist_ contains teaching remarkably
+like what is to be found in certain of the chapters of _Unto This Last_.
+A reader cannot fail to be struck by the wonderful modernness of
+Xenophon's writing, his love for the country, his simple and genuine
+piety, his soldierly directness, and his practical common sense. Here is
+a delightful sidelight on Greek family life, written twenty-three
+centuries ago, but which might have been spoken yesterday: "_My wife_,"
+says one of the characters, "_often puts me on trial and takes me to
+task--When I am candid and tell her everything, I get on well enough,
+but if I hide or disguise anything, it goes hard with me, for I cannot
+make black seem white to her._"
+
+The _Economist_ is an ideal volume for the country calm: it will not
+deliver up its best to you in the city; but if it is leisurely perused
+while hayrick fragrances are in the air, while butterflies are
+fluttering round the lawns, and while the flow of a clear-gushing brook
+chimes with your fancy and the quiet tone of the old Greek's musings,
+then (be sure) the mellow sweetness of the "Attic Bee" will be
+adequately enjoyed.
+
+It is a great pity that life is so short, that there are only
+twenty-four hours in the day, and that, owing to the general scarcity of
+money among the intellectual portion of the community, the possession of
+free-will is a pathetic fallacy. Nobody, in these bonds of time and
+space, can do precisely what he would like to do. Mr. T. P. O'Connor
+once said that, if he were master of his fate, and his feet in every way
+clear, he would at once proceed to Athens and learn Greek. I can
+conceive no keener or greater joy than that: it is the wish of a genuine
+lover of letters. At the age of ten, I came upon an old copy of Pope's
+_Homer_, and have been in love with Greek literature ever since. The
+cares of this world, including rates and taxes, prevent me likewise from
+proceeding to the City of the Violet Crown, but there are plenty of
+cheap copies of Homer to be had in Scotland, and it is no disadvantage
+that some of them have the translation printed on the opposite page.
+
+So many things have to be learned at school now, that Greek is being
+pushed out. In future, it will be a University subject solely. That is a
+great pity, for although there are fine translations of the Greek
+authors in English, these are not so much read as they ought to be.
+Greek itself would be much easier to learn if editors would write fewer
+and shorter notes.[15]
+
+ [15] Penalties of a really deterrent kind might at least be laid
+ upon those gentlemen who write _more than three_ pages of notes
+ to one of the author's text:
+
+ O that the Kaiser showing sense for once
+ Would loose his fury on each learned dunce,
+ And visit with his summary proceedings
+ The rogues who tease us with their _variant readings_.
+
+
+FRENCH LITERATURE AND JOURNALISM.
+
+I am always delighted to see French books on the shelves of a rural
+library. I notice Dowden's _French Literature_ in many a Highland
+bookcase; and I am sure it will please that erudite and most excellent
+professor to know he has hundreds of students who never saw his face.
+Everybody should learn the French language: I don't know a better
+intellectual investment. French is rich in precisely those qualities
+that English lacks. It is not necessary, for proof of that statement, to
+read Gautier, Bourget, or Hugo. A daily paper from Paris supplies all
+the proof required.
+
+I freely admit that the French newspaper seems, on first acquaintance,
+to be a wonderful and puzzling affair. It is never dull or tiresome, or
+glum. You may have your dearest susceptibilities wounded by it, but you
+won't fall asleep as you read its columns. Humour trickles from
+paragraph to paragraph; wit coruscates in the accounts of the most
+ordinary police cases; and abundant of dexterous literary workmanship is
+to be found in the leading articles. In spite of such admirable
+qualities, there is an element of frivolity, a lack of seriousness (I
+speak of the typical Boulevard sheet) that is at first rather shocking
+to a British reader. He finds grave subjects treated with a fineness of
+touch and a lucidity of reasoning at once charming and full of
+edification: but, lo! a pun trails accidentally off the journalist's
+pen, or an odd collocation of ideas jostle each other in his brain: the
+writer at once stops his instructive reasoning; he goes off the main
+line and careers bounding down some devious side-path of entertaining
+nonsense. Our home papers are almost uniformly staid; they are written
+conscientiously, laboriously, commendably. But, after all, the French
+are right in trying to inject as much entertainment as possible into the
+daily record of mundane things.
+
+I regret to say that the majority of French newspapers do not give their
+readers a quite fair or accurate account of events happening outside of
+France. French topics, as is right, have the bulk of the space, and
+foreign events are usually treated in a very prejudiced and perfunctory
+way. The Frenchman's enthusiasm for home politics does not leave him
+much emotion to spare for the rest of the world. Political life with him
+is always more or less in a state of turmoil. There is usually some
+scandalous _affaire_ afoot or impending, to which political import can
+easily be given. Many of the most talented editors, being members of the
+Chamber, import into their articles much of the heat and unreasoning
+vehemence engendered by the violence of direct debate. There has always
+been a feeling since the _great_ Revolution that _others_ might follow,
+and that one or other of the royal gentlemen of this or that
+disestablished race might, by some cyclone of popular or military
+sympathy, be blown back to power in Paris. Unluckily, there are far too
+many parties in France, far too many nicknames, badges, and shibboleths.
+The language of political discussion is bitter, and heated beyond
+anything the cooler Anglo-Saxon would tolerate. And yet, amid all such
+electric discharges of wordy rancour, the French nation goes on its way
+rejoicing, not a penny the worse, making wines, silks, and fashions, for
+an ungrateful world.
+
+There is now, and always has been, a strange sympathy between France and
+Scotland. A Scot learns French, as a rule, easily. One of the striking
+differences between dialect Scotch and book English is precisely the
+peculiar French ingredients in the former. For three hundred years the
+two countries were allies, and the advantages to England may be gathered
+from the remark of King Henry V. in Shakespeare's play--
+
+ "For you shall read that my great-grandfather
+ Never went with his forces into France,
+ But that the Scot on his unfurnished kingdom,
+ Came rolling like the tide into the breach."
+
+
+GIL BLAS.
+
+One French book that has solaced my leisure (in train, steamer, and
+trap), is that altogether delectable volume _Gil Blas_. It would be
+worth learning French to be able to read the book in the original. The
+characters are non-moral reprobates who lie, rob, and drink with the
+most unaffected sincerity. Vice loses all its grossness, and becomes
+intensely entertaining. The tone of the confessions is at once subtle
+and naïve, tragic and trivial, comic and pathetic. The humour is
+absolutely colossal: many English books, alleged to be humorous, do not
+contain, in their entire bulk, as much humour as a single chapter of
+this great work. For brilliancy of style it stands very high, and few
+authors, either in France or elsewhere, have attained such admirable
+clearness, precision, and pith. Read _Gil Bias_, say I, if you wish to
+appreciate the possibilities of the French tongue, and taste all the
+delicate flavour of its racy idiom.
+
+
+ROMANCE AND AUGUSTANISM.
+
+There is a well-known text of Scripture, "In my father's house are many
+mansions" which, with a slight turn, might be applied to the House of
+Literature. There is room there for every pure and beautiful expression
+of human thought and emotion. Romance and Augustanism have both the
+right of entry.
+
+I am glad to see that Alexander Pope, the cleverest of our English
+bards, is still a popular favourite wherever I go. It would be a pity if
+this were not so, for he is head of the guild of Queen Anne wits, and
+no one of them can rival his instinctive delicacy, careful workmanship,
+and crystalline lucidity. His skill in the coining of impressive
+aphoristic couplets is unrivalled: it is almost as good as a novel
+addition to truth to find an old maxim supplied with the winged words of
+such a consummate verbal artist. Pope is a writer who appeals directly
+to all readers, for he never hides poverty of thought in a cloud of
+vague words.
+
+In Pope and his fellows we miss the lavish magnificence and unchartered
+freedom of the spacious times of great Elizabeth. Instead of Spenser's
+amazing luxuriance of matter and metre, we have a neat uniformity and
+trim array of couplets, which suggest the constant supervision of the
+pruning craftsman. Compared with the Elizabethans, Pope's time has less
+wealth but more careful mintage, less power but more husbanding of
+strength, fewer flights of imagination but finer flutterings of fancy,
+little humour but abundance of clear and sparkling wit. _It is not a
+difficult task, by means of suitable selections, to bring home to an
+audience of crofters the salient differences between the poetry of Pope
+and of Spenser._
+
+It is also easy to show to any audience that the quality which pleases
+to such a high degree in poems like the _Highland Lass_ and _Yarrow
+Revisited_, there is a romantic charm and thrilling magic which Pope
+never could produce. A line or two from one of the poems cited has a far
+more potent effect over the affections of the heart than the gorgeous
+declamatory rhetoric of _Eloisa and Abelard_. But it would be foolish
+to suppose that because Pope has not the passion for nature nor the glow
+of self-oblivious benevolence, he has not highly educative and estimable
+features. He should not be censured for what he never meant to supply:
+we should rather strive to cultivate catholicity of taste by extracting
+from his poems the information and enjoyment they are so well able to
+furnish.
+
+The Prologue of Pope's _Satires_ is, of course, the best introduction to
+a systematic study of the works of this writer. That poem is the
+masterpiece of Pope's volume, and exemplifies better than any other
+piece the striking and brilliant qualities for which he is so famous. In
+perusing it, the reader soon discovers that he is in presence of a work
+which is the result of incessant and prolonged labour, and which,
+consequently, deserves patient study. The works of a great technical
+artist require such elaborate treatment if the force of their genius is
+to be adequately felt.
+
+
+VICTORIAN WRITERS.
+
+If any man proposes to stay a month among scenery of hill, mountain, and
+lake, I should advise him to slip a copy of Wordsworth into his pocket,
+and read therefrom an hour daily; not hurrying over the pages, but
+turning aside, now and again, to take in the glory of pinewood, heather,
+and linn. In no volume, ancient or modern, can a tired man find such
+soft and genial balm for his weariness as in the calm pages of the Rydal
+singer. The poet is at his best in the broad region of natural religion.
+He looks round on the beauties of the world with that solemn awe a man
+feels in the hallowed precincts of a mediæval temple. The grandeur and
+mystery of the world throw him into a kind of enchantment: his own soul
+and that of the universe touch and commune with each other. In his rapt
+verses we feel some of that mystic thrill felt by a devotee in the open
+sanctuary of the Almighty. No man ever interpreted Nature in such
+inspired strains as William Wordsworth. What supremely delights the
+lover of scenery is that this poet's muse can overwrap the exact and
+detailed knowledge of Nature with a superb mantle of idealistic glory.
+He saw and understood the harmony of Nature's forms and colours through
+all the seasons: at the quiet ingleside he meditated on what he had seen
+and heard, enshrined these in verse, and added to them the warmth of his
+own devout and sensitive soul. There is no exaggeration in Arnold's
+tribute:--
+
+ "He laid us, as we lay at birth,
+ On the cool, flowery lap of earth,
+ Smiles broke from us, and we had ease;
+ The hills were round us, and the breeze
+ Went o'er the sunlit fields again.
+ Our foreheads felt the wind and rain,
+ Our youth returned; for there was shed
+ On spirits that had long been dead--
+ Spirits dried up and closely furled--
+ The freshness of the early world."
+
+Of Wordsworth and his successor, Tennyson, it is impossible to speak
+save in terms of affectionate gratitude. God looked kindly on Britain
+when he sent two such men to minister to us. Tennyson did more than all
+the bishops of the Church of England to stifle crude infidelity and
+equally crude religious bigotry. There is not a single line he ever
+wrote of which in his last days he had need, from the point of view of
+truth and morality, to be ashamed. He increased the world's stock of
+happiness by poems which have been the solace of men and women in the
+hours of darkness and doubt, which have led men to rise to nobler things
+on the stepping-stones of their dead selves, and which, I am certain,
+his grateful fellow-countrymen will not willingly let die.
+
+It is not the least of Tennyson's claims to our gratitude that his
+genius was sensitive alike to the beauties of Celtic and of Anglo-Saxon
+verse. It would be difficult to overpraise his masterly rendering of the
+"Battle of Brunanburh," a vigorous old poem he found in the _Saxon
+Chronicle_. Equally fine is his "Voyage of Maeldune," founded on a
+Celtic legend of the seventh century. Those who wish to know what is
+meant by Celtic glamour should read the last-named poem without delay.
+
+
+CELT AND SAXON.
+
+Between the literatures of the Celt and the Saxon there are, indeed,
+well-marked differences. The Anglo-Saxons were a set of enterprising
+pirates, who drove their keels over the misty ocean, came to Britain and
+took forcible possession of it, dispersing or enslaving the original
+possessors. They left a literature which is, in many respects, highly
+interesting, but is in the main devoid of sunshine, humour, and
+sprightliness. The old poem of "Beowulf," with its rough and sturdy
+verses, all splashed with brine, contains very few figures of speech: it
+is a poem, but not markedly poetical; it is solid and impressive, but
+not beautiful. Now, no one can read Celtic poetry, even in translation,
+without being powerfully struck by its refined beauty and mystic
+romance. The metaphors and similes are somewhat too abundant. The
+typical Anglo-Saxon has a firm grip of the world, but is not poetical
+enough; the Celt, on the other hand, is probably too much of a dreamer
+and a poet--he sits on the hill-side (forgetting sometimes to till it)
+and muses on fairies, second-sight, and enchantments. St. Paul used the
+right word in speaking to the old world Gaels, _i.e._, Galatians: "O
+foolish Galatians, who hath _bewitched_ you?" (τίς ὑμᾱς ἐβάσκανε;)
+
+Combine these two races in the right proportion, and you get an
+admirable blend. It is not for me to say where the just man made perfect
+is to be found, the man in whom the elements--practical and
+poetical--are mixed in such exquisite proportion, that Nature might
+stand up and say, "_There is a man_." What is certain, is that there is
+a very pronounced strain of Celtic blood coursing through the veins of
+the average Scotch Lowlander. Few Scots have to rummage far among their
+ancestry before they find a piece of tartan: such mixture of genealogy
+probably accounts for much that is best in their composition.
+
+The supposition that the Scotch race-combination is Celt and Saxon, and
+only that, is of course erroneous. There is a very marked Scandinavian
+element both in the east and the west of the country. In the year 1600
+A.D., the Norse tongue was spoken all over the Long Island from the Butt
+of Lewis to Barra. Certainly, in Lewis and Skye, an enormous number of
+the place-names are Scandinavian, and date from a time when the
+sea-kings had dominion over the islands of the West. Many fascinating
+problems of ethnology continue to occupy the attention of investigators,
+and are not likely to be settled for a long time to come. One thing is
+abundantly clear, viz., that purity of race and speech does not exist in
+any county of Scotland: everywhere there is a mixture of blood and
+language.[16]
+
+ [16] Mr. Tocher, a Peterhead gentleman, has adopted a special
+ line of investigation. He has sent out schedules to every school
+ in Scotland asking for detailed information as to the colour of
+ the eyes and hair of the boys and girls. His desire is to
+ connect _pigmentation_ and race-origin. He believes it is still
+ possible to get definite information, by such means, of the
+ settlement and blending of Picts, Celts, Norsemen, and
+ Anglo-Saxons.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+ECCLESIASTICAL.
+
+ Sectarian feeling--Typical anecdotes--Music and
+ religion--Ethical teaching in schools--The Moderates--A savoury
+ book--The Sabbath--"The Men of Skye"--The auldest kirk--The
+ Episcopal Church--An interlude of metre--The Christian
+ Brethren--Drimnin in Morven--Craignish--A model
+ minister--Ministerial trials in olden times--An artful
+ dodger--Some anecdotes from Gigha--Growing popularity of Ruskin.
+
+
+SECTARIAN FEELING.
+
+In a small country township, all the influences that operate to divide
+men into sects and parties are keenly and continuously felt. To a
+dweller there, it is well-nigh impossible to keep out of the arena of
+strife. Now that there is so much confusion and division in religious
+matters, strong feeling is more easily stirred on any secular subject
+that may happen to arise for discussion. If the Wee Frees, for example,
+desire a new road in a certain direction, the United Frees will probably
+deride the scheme and unanimously petition against it. Their antipathy
+to each other becomes envenomed by their persistent proximity: if you
+are a villager, you cannot get away from your adversary--in the morning,
+when looking out of the window, you see him tilling his croft, mending
+his nets, or washing his face in a tub at his front door. The fact that
+he is there is an obstacle to your peace of mind. If you did not see
+him so often, you would more readily come to believe that he possessed a
+conscience and some shred of principle and decent doctrine.
+
+In a distant seaside town a library had been procured, and (though
+doctrine was not at stake at all) a most virulent debate at once arose
+as to where it should be housed. The United Frees voted for the school;
+the Wee Frees called aloud for the post-office. It would require the pen
+of Dean Swift (who did such justice to the strife between the
+Big-Endians and Little-Endians) to recount in appropriate style the
+intrigues and stratagems of the rival religionists. The local teacher
+did not wish the books in school _because_ the proposal came from the
+enemy. He was powerfully supported by all the young fellows of the
+place, whose reverence for him, born of recent severe whackings, was
+limitless. This teacher had an eloquent and vitriolic tongue, and
+delivered himself thus: "What have I not done for the island? What have
+these reprobates ever done? Who was it that got the frequent Macbrayne
+connection with the mainland? _I did._ Who got up the concert to buy
+seats for visitors coming north from Glasgow? And yet for every blessing
+I give them, I get ten curses. _But I'll choke them yet._" It was
+needless for the United Frees to demand a plebiscite--or, as they called
+it, a _ple-biscuit_--the dominie was too forceful, persistent, and
+phraseful for them, and at the public meeting he laughed down a teetotal
+opponent by singing out: "Sit down on your seat, man; _it's the drink
+that's speaking, no' you!_"
+
+No matter what the subject may be, there is usually a smack of
+ecclesiasticism in the ordinary give-and-take of conversation. I cannot
+illustrate this better than by giving the Lewis man's reply to an
+enquiry as to _how his wooden leg was behaving_. The enquirer was a
+newly-elected United Free elder, while he of the timber toes was a
+staunch Disruptionist. "Well," said the latter, "my wooden leg is not
+unlike a U. F. elder; it's not exactly perfection, but, considering
+everything, we must just be putting up with what we can get." This was
+said at a time when the Wee Frees were in a big majority in certain
+parts of the Highlands, and when, as a consequence, United Free elders
+had to be selected out of diminished congregations.
+
+
+TYPICAL ANECDOTES.
+
+The venerable Lord Halsbury, so well known for his judgment in the great
+Church case, resided, shortly after the decision, in the neighbourhood
+of Forres. Men plucked each other by the sleeve as he passed along the
+street, and pointed with awe to the keen-witted lawyer who had caused
+such a kick-up in the realm. His most innocent doings were watched. One
+day he went into a book-shop and made a purchase. When he came out, in
+rushed a brace of theologians to enquire what he had bought. It turned
+out that he had purchased a copy of _Comic Cuts_. The news was all round
+Forres in an hour's time, and caused much consternation. "What great men
+do, the less will prattle of," and it is so difficult for the former to
+act up to their heroic rôle.
+
+How thoroughly our dear native land has enjoyed its theological battles!
+Will there ever be a truce to the long wars of faith? One cannot see
+much ground for a too sanguine hope. After a library had been given to a
+little village in the West, I paid the usual visit to the place, and
+requested a free expression of views as to the suitability of the books
+that had been given. One venerable old native, with eyes of fire, called
+out: "_This Paisley Library has one fatal lack: it contains no works on
+controversial divinity._" I ventured to hint that perhaps the omission
+was intentional, but that he absolutely refused to believe.
+
+Coming through the Sound of Mull one blustery November day, I heard a
+most animated discussion on the question "Has the Deity unlimited Free
+Will?" The disputants had all the appearance of sensible crofters--they
+certainly talked more intelligibly than most commentators on Kant. Some
+of the ship's crew joined in the talk in such a way as to show that they
+understood perfectly well the question at issue. Every member of the
+ring was wet (the rain was coming down in torrents during the whole
+argument), but neither "Ayes" nor "Noes" would admit defeat. When the
+boat touched the terminus of Tobermory, much still remained to be said,
+and the amateur theologians retired to sum up in a local bar-room. The
+incident is characteristic, and could have happened in no other country
+but Scotland. Presbyterianism has made the Scot somewhat too
+disputatious, but it is surely better to see a man interested in
+religion than in nothing at all.
+
+Talking of the union of the Free and U.P. Churches, I am reminded of a
+laughable tale told of a Hebridean minister. "Themselves and their
+Union, I say, themselves and their Union," he remarked; "I will have
+nothing to do with it. I was born Free, ordained Free; I have lived
+Free, and I will die Free." "But what about the stipend, Angus?" said
+his wife, douce and cautious woman. "Ah, the stipend! Well, if I lose my
+stipend, you will have to put on a short petticoat, strap a creel on
+your back, and sell _fush_." "And what will you do, Angus, when I'm away
+selling _fush_?" "Oh, I will stay at home and pray for a blessing on
+your efforts."
+
+The use of Scriptural expressions undoubtedly gives great force to the
+language of every-day life. As is well known, certain classes in cookery
+have recently been established in a few northern villages. A Highland
+minister, in publicly commending these classes, remarked, with a rueful
+grimace: "I _do_ wish such classes as these had been in existence when
+my wife was young; for, as it is, every dinner she serves up to me is
+either a _burnt offering or a bloody sacrifice_!"
+
+The following story comes from a minister in the neighbourhood of Loch
+Awe. "A clergyman of my acquaintance was stationed in a poor parish near
+my own, and he called on the local laird for financial aid to help on
+some of the church schemes. This laird was a well-known philanthropist,
+but the call was made at the wrong psychological moment, for he chanced
+on this particular day to be in a very bad humour. He listened to the
+minister with great impatience, and at last, bounding to his feet and
+pointing to the door, he shouted: 'Silver and gold have I none, but such
+as I have, give I unto thee: in the name of Beelzebub, rise and
+_walk_!'"
+
+It was my unfortunate experience to witness a great amount of sectarian
+strife in the north and west during my various visits. Sometimes my
+prospective chairman was unable to preside, owing to his having taken
+part in a doctrinal scuffle, and having his coat torn, and his church
+captured. These fantastic doings are in no way edifying, and are
+extremely shocking to our national pride.
+
+Theologically, many districts of the Highlands have not advanced beyond
+the stage occupied by Lowland Scotland in the time of Burns. In certain
+parishes, the communion is dispensed in the open air, in the way
+familiar to readers of the "Holy Fair." Sky overhead, grassy turf
+beneath, solemnity, sobs, and sighs all around, certainly make up a most
+impressive whole. The sermon is unmercifully long--two hours, at least:
+probably, if translated into English, and shorn of repetitions, it could
+be given in one-fourth of the time. If you or I, dear Lowlander, should
+stand on the outside of the crowd, and appear more curious than devout,
+we should certainly be alluded to in the sermon as _those wicked
+people_. The discourses are no gilt-edged harangues dealing with the
+"larger hope," and larded with quotations from Tennyson and Browning.
+They are, on the contrary, full of Tartarean sulphur and strange fire,
+and rich in grotesque illustrations, of which this is a sample: "My
+friends, crowds of loathsome fiends are sent by the Prince of the Power
+of the Air to tempt us to our destruction. They hang over us waiting for
+their opportunity, just like a regiment of black crows hovering over a
+potato-field."
+
+I am afraid that crude Calvinism, as preached in certain parts of the
+north, is nothing less than monstrous. The good God, beneficent Father
+of us all, is unrecognizable when eternal reprobation is represented as
+the inevitable fate of the vast majority of His children. In time, no
+doubt (and the sooner the better), the results of modern theological
+thought will penetrate into the uttermost nooks of the land.
+
+
+MUSIC AND RELIGION.
+
+It is not easy to see why religion should be associated with gloom and
+disheartening ugliness. The long-drawn music of an Old Testament psalm
+is not without a certain doleful impressiveness, but the human soul
+needs occasional stimulus, even on Sundays, of something less
+lugubrious. Certain congregations hate hymns: they consider them carnal
+and uninspired. As for organ-music in a church, that would be _praising
+God by machinery_, a preposterous and intolerable approximation to
+Popery. Not long ago, a poor crofter in a Hebridean township, came to
+his minister, requesting that good man's offices for the christening of
+a child. The crofter in question was the possessor of an asthmatic old
+concertina, and the clergyman, before the rite of admission to the
+visible church could be performed, insisted on the annihilation of the
+ungodly instrument of music. The minister, in person, visited the croft,
+and disabled the concertina with a hammer. The child was then
+christened, and the clerical zany strode off victorious, feeling he had
+done a good day's work for Heaven. "Who ever heard of the Apostle Paul
+playing on an organ?" was the question once propounded by Dr. Begg. The
+argument was a splendid _reductio ad absurdum_, and resembles the old
+reason for the reluctance of the peasantry to eat potatoes, because no
+mention was made of them in Holy Writ. But songs and music are filtering
+into the glens, in an official way, by the agency of the Scotch
+Education Department. Musical drill is a feature of the school-room, and
+it is a joy to think that such is the case. Some of the old folk,
+however, look on astounded and shocked; they shake their heads, and
+would, if they could, abolish such frivolity. "Why all this singing and
+tramping?" said a Skyeman to me once. "What good will all the songs of
+the world do to a man when he comes to his death-bed? I would rather,
+this very moment, sit down in a public-house, and drink till I was
+intoxicated, than screech and howl these worldly airs." Life was not so
+absurd in the days of the Catholic ascendency. But human nature is
+slowly asserting itself, and the days of the glum tyrannical zealot are
+assuredly numbered.
+
+
+ETHICAL TEACHING IN SCHOOLS.
+
+In some districts of the North, the inspectors have considerable trouble
+with certain teachers of the devout type who, from conscientious
+scruples, refuse to read to the children anything in the nature of a
+fairy tale. While examining a class in a remote Sutherland school, an
+inspector requested the schoolmaster to narrate to the children, in
+Gaelic, the story of Little Red Riding Hood, and get them thereafter to
+put it into English. But the teacher most emphatically refused: "No, no,
+I cannot do that: it is all a lie; wolves do not speak; _no animal
+speaks_." The inspector, to refute him, unwisely alluded to the
+Scripture account of Balaam's ass in the twenty-second chapter of
+Numbers; whereupon, the dominie nearly swooned at the impiety of
+comparing that inspired animal with a secular beast like Grimm's wolf.
+For some time after, the inspector was bombarded with anonymous letters,
+accusing him of habitually _sitting in the scorner's chair_. He was
+terrified lest some Member of Parliament, eager for a grievance, should
+be got to move the adjournment of the House of Commons, with the
+righteous object of directing the attention of Government to Little Red
+Riding Hood and the naughty inspector of schools.[17]
+
+The question of religious teaching in schools is capable of an easy
+solution, and we in the south have come pretty near solving it. The best
+solution is to have no dogma at all in the school-room. The Catechism
+and Prayer-book are excellent in their way, but the school is no place
+for them. We have a very complete and extensive organisation of churches
+in the land, and an army of officials ordained to teach doctrines and
+tenets: let them take up the inculcation of creeds and rites, but don't
+let us perplex the school children with catechisms and metaphysical
+definitions. It is easy to make a distinction between morality and
+doctrine--a distinction which is alike clear and reasonable. Morality is
+an earthly and secular affair, and has to do with matters of elementary
+honesty such as every responsible citizen of a free country ought to
+practice. Religion is a higher affair, dealing with our relationship to
+the unseen: it is outside the province of the teacher, and should not be
+thrust into the school programme along with history and geography and
+grammar. Morality is of this world: religion of the next. Let everything
+be kept in its proper place. As to that division of duty which deals
+with right conduct, there is no controversy whatever. _Thou shalt not
+steal_; _thou shalt not bear false witness_--these, and the like
+elementary rules of conduct, are universally admitted to be right, for
+they are the groundwork of society. Take these away, and the world
+lapses into chaos. The following virtues are capable of being taught in
+schools:--(1) a strict adherence to the truth; (2) the application of
+the golden rule; (3) cheerful obedience at the call of duty; (4)
+reverence and respect for everything noble and great in the history of
+the world. These can all be taught, and are actually taught, by every
+conscientious teacher in the country. They constitute not the whole of
+duty, indeed, but the most difficult part of it--certainly all that need
+come into the realm of pedagogy.
+
+ [17] How differently the items in the Sacred Canon are regarded
+ in scholastic circles in the South! A Glasgow teacher, discussing
+ the Origin of Evil with a Government official, expressed great
+ resentment at the loss of paradise through Adam's sin, and added:
+ "It comes specially hard on me, seeing that I don't care a
+ _docken_ for apples."
+
+
+THE MODERATES.
+
+_Ami lecteur_, have you ever heard of the _Moderates_? If, by chance,
+you have dipped into the interminable controversies that gyrated round
+the Disruption year, it is probable you may have heard more than enough
+of them. One gets the impression that they were an unimpassioned,
+easy-going, anti-brimstone, but highly estimable body of men. They were
+blamed for preaching morality and not the penetrating mysteries of the
+faith. In "The Holy Fair," Burns gives us an inimitable picture of the
+moral philosopher in the pulpit:--
+
+ "But hark! the tent has changed its voice,
+ There's peace an' rest nae langer,
+ For a' the real judges rise--
+ They canna sit for anger.
+ Smith opens out his cauld harangues
+ On practice and on morals,
+ An' aff the godly pour in thrangs
+ To gie the jars an' barrels
+ A lift that day.
+
+ "What signifies his barren shine
+ Of moral powers an' reason?
+ His English style and gesture fine
+ Are a' clean out o' season.
+ Like Socrates or Antonine,
+ Or some auld pagan heathen,
+ The moral man he does define,
+ But ne'er a word o' faith in
+ That's richt that day."
+
+I confess to a certain liking for Smith. He knew what was good for the
+Holy Willies and the other "chosen samples" and "swatches o' grace" in
+his auditory. Like a sensible man, and like the Apostle James, he laid
+more stress on "practice and on morals" than on lip-worship and faith.
+"Faith without works is dead" is a dictum that needs to be incessantly
+emphasised, and nowhere more than in certain ultra-orthodox localities
+of Scotland at the present day.
+
+The Established Church is, with few exceptions, a negligible
+denomination in the Hebrides. For some reason it is regarded as the
+modern representative of the Moderate or Broad type of Calvinistic
+Christianity, and, as such, an abomination to the zealots. To show what
+a poor hold the Establishment has in Lewis, it is enough to remark that
+there are in that island only 183 Auld Kirk communicants out of a
+population of 32,947. Figures almost equally striking could be given for
+the Presbyteries of Uist, Skye, and Glenelg. The chief occupation of
+some parish ministers in insular Scotland must be that of killing time.
+I once met one of these reverend gentlemen in one of the hotels in
+Stornoway. He seemed to take a pleasure in running contrary to all the
+darling prejudices of the islanders. Dancing he approved of; he did not
+believe in prefacing his prayer or homily with a sanctimonious whine;
+and he actually was willing to admit that a few Catholics might get to
+heaven. An equally glaring fault--in the eyes of bigotry, I mean--was
+that he _dropped into poetry_ at stated times, and sent his Gaelic
+verses to one of the Highland newspapers. The Parish Church buildings,
+in many localities of the West Highlands, are in a woeful state of
+disrepair. They have a prevailing odour of must and damp; the seats are
+hard deal, unkind to the human anatomy; doors and windows rattle and
+shake during the service; creeping things move along the walls;
+sometimes the floors are nothing but the uneven and unconcealed Scottish
+earth. In such churches, there is some credit in being devout.
+
+
+A SAVOURY BOOK.
+
+An outstanding member of the clan Macdonald, for some time minister at
+Applecross, deserves a cordial vote of thanks for a savoury book he has
+written on the social and religious condition of the Highlands. He is
+not a bit scared by the Darwinian theory of evolution. "We have a good
+deal in common," he says, "with the brute creation, and have no cause to
+feel ourselves degraded on that account. The lower animals, not
+excluding the much-despised monkey, are specimens of divine workmanship
+which _reflect the highest honour on the skill and power of the Maker_."
+Could any admission be more handsome or candid than that?
+
+I have learned a great deal from Mr. Macdonald's cheery and broad-minded
+volume. He is strong in history, and has had, it would seem, access to
+information that is closed to the general eye. There is a glorious
+simplicity in his views on Caledonian ethnology. A roguish prince,
+Gathelus, son of the king of Greece, migrated to Egypt, and married
+Scota, daughter of that Pharaoh who persecuted the Israelites. The
+various plagues "that o'er the realm of impious Pharaoh hung," terrified
+Gathelus, and he flitted in hot haste to Spain, and called his followers
+Scots, to please his wife. Later in life, he sent his son Hiber to
+Ireland, where the lad settled, and named the island after his noble
+self, Hibernia. Scots continued to pour into Ireland, _viâ_ the Bay of
+Biscay, and finally, under Simon Brek, subdued the entire extent of the
+Green Island. In 360 A.D., they came over to Argyllshire, and aided the
+indigenous Picts (who were also Celts) against the legions of Rome. This
+is so compact and clear an account, that I wish it were true. The way in
+which sacred and profane history are blended strikes me as singularly
+able.
+
+Mr. Macdonald has an intimate knowledge of Celtic superstitions, and
+always castigates the right thing. Certain diseases of the brain were,
+till quite recently, believed to be curable if the afflicted man could
+procure a suicide's skull and take a drink out of it. Mr. Macdonald
+rightly dwells upon the absurdity of such a specific, but confesses that
+one might as well try to "bale out the Atlantic" as eradicate the
+foolish pagan notions that still linger in the glens.
+
+Ministers have a great deal of captious criticism to stand, if we may
+judge by Mr. Macdonald's anecdotes. They are blamed for terminating
+their discourses _with a silver tail_ (_i.e._, intimating a special
+collection). The sermon itself is not immune from cruel jests, as the
+following report of a parishioner's criticism will show: "A minister is
+like a joiner. The joiner takes a piece of wood and shapes it roughly
+with the axe. Then he applies his rough plane, and smooths it down a
+bit. After that, he takes his fine plane; and, lastly, he rubs it with
+sandpaper, and finishes it with polish till he makes it appear like
+glass. And so with the minister: he works his sermon, from sheet to
+sheet, with pen and ink, till he makes it at last so smooth _that a
+flea could not stand on it_."[18]
+
+ [18] Ministers, being public men, are, of course, as Mr.
+ Macdonald means to point out, exposed to the criticism,
+ frequently so absurd, that eminence entails. I recently examined
+ the bye-laws of a literary association in Ross-shire, of which
+ the president is a sheep-farmer, and the secretary, a postman. It
+ is a rule of this association that no minister is ever to be
+ president, the reason assigned being that ministers would try to
+ elevate the natives _too hurriedly_. The people do not object to
+ be elevated, but they wish the process to be performed without
+ unnecessary haste.
+
+
+THE SABBATH.
+
+I was not a little surprised during my attendance at Highland churches
+to hear the ministers devoting much strong rhetoric to the sin of
+Sabbath-breaking. Taking the air on the first day of the week for quiet
+meditation and the good of one's health, has always seemed to me a
+laudable practice, but in many Highland parishes, a Sunday stroll
+implies ungodliness, even although the stroller may have attended one or
+more diets of worship earlier in the day. Such a state of matters is
+preposterously absurd, and, to my thinking, quite irreligious--it at
+least tends to make hypocrites. Some years ago, I spent a week in a
+typical insular village, lodging in the local inn. It was noticeable
+that on Sundays, the front blinds of the house were never drawn up. When
+the church-bells tolled the hour for public worship, the solemn devotees
+could be seen (through holes in the blind) pacing along, looking fixedly
+at the toes of their boots. The landlord of the house thought it no sin
+to observe the passers-by, so long as he could do so in a clandestine
+way. He had no desire to mend the blind.
+
+The restfulness and peace of a British Sunday is a blessed thing, as
+every Briton who has been long resident abroad, will readily admit.
+There is, however, a reasonable medium to be found between the unnatural
+Calvinistic Sabbath (with its limited view of the world through a torn
+blind) and the Continental Sunday, gay with skipping and junketing.
+Within recent years, to some extent owing to the bicycle and motor-car,
+the Sabbath has become rather too animated and bustling. The change is
+perhaps not entirely regrettable. The terrible Sunday dulness of some of
+our large towns has been, of late years, rendered less oppressive by the
+opening of museums and art galleries. I heard a man of fifty confess
+that in his boyhood he prayed fervently once, and only once, a week: the
+prayer in question was said on Sunday evening, and consisted of a
+heartfelt ejaculation of thanks to Heaven that the holy day was over for
+another week.
+
+Church-going is a splendid and salutary practice, and every man who does
+not base his life on some religious sanction, is leading a mutilated
+life. There is such a thing, however, as ecclesiastical dyspepsia, a
+disease engendered by forced attendance at too many religious services
+when one is young. The disease is unfortunately apt to develop in mature
+years, into complete indifference to doctrine of all kinds.
+
+After all, doctrine is largely useful as a mental exercise, and may
+easily become divorced from practical honesty. Not once but fifty times
+have I been told that the village experts in theology were precisely the
+men who needed most watching in mundane matters. "So-and-so is a
+specialist on the millennium: _beware of him_." "Old Duncan is the
+strictest Sabbatarian in the island, but on Monday he's worth keeping an
+eye on." "Many a man that keeps the fourth commandment is not so
+particular about the others." Such are the phrases one is perpetually
+hearing, and they go far to prove how inoperative are ritual,
+profession, and form, in the life of some Christians.
+
+To keep the ten commandments, or rather, I should say, the eleven, is no
+easy matter for either Celt or Saxon. It is far easier to be
+ostentatiously religious than scrupulously moral, to say prayers than to
+pay debts, to split hairs of doctrine than to love your enemies. I never
+read a more markedly scriptural book than _The Men of Skye_, nor one
+that displays such intolerance to the school of Laodiceans. I am not
+insensible to the intense enthusiasm of the author for the memory of the
+illiterate catechists who went round the island preaching to the people
+in a homely and graphic way. The unlovely feature of the book is the
+antagonism displayed towards those who wish to bring about a union of
+the Presbyterian bodies. "Not all the cement outside of heaven," one man
+says, "could bring about a union of the Free and U.P. Churches." The
+Declaratory Act, secular teaching in schools, instrumental music, and
+such like, all come in for severe treatment or ironical reference.
+
+
+_THE MEN OF SKYE._
+
+The book to which I have referred (_The Men of Skye_) gives a wonderful
+insight into the religious psychology of the Celtic zealot. It was in
+Portree that I first got a look at the little work, which consists of a
+series of biographies of outstanding lay preachers. I enjoyed the
+perusal of it immensely, and I am afraid the pious author will regard me
+as little better than one of the wicked when I say that I had many a
+hearty laugh at its contents. I am very unwilling to seek gaiety in
+pious books, very averse to laugh at honest, heart-felt beliefs, but the
+author of _The Men of Skye_ was too many for me. His quaint metaphors,
+droll tenses and unlicensed syntax, were a perpetual feast of nectared
+sweets.
+
+The language in which the book is written is not Gaelic, though it has
+not quite reached the stage of English. The following extract is a
+typical one: "John Mackenzie lived at Galtrigil, was a God-fearing man,
+and professed religion, and his conduct was worthy of his profession,
+consistent in all its parts. He was employed as fishcurer to Dr. Martin.
+When he would be busy in the store, on the shore, his wife would go down
+with his food. He had a large heap of salt beside him, but he was so
+scrupulously conscientious that when she took down an egg, she would
+need also to bring from his own house the grain of salt he would put in
+it. He would not take so much as a grain of salt that was not his own.
+He was careful about what belonged to the cause of Christ, and would
+like to know that those who took up a profession of religion had
+undergone what he termed a _clean conversion_."
+
+Some of the stories told of Angus Macleod, are altogether unique: "He
+was one day entrusted with the herding of the minister's cattle, but
+while he prayed, the cattle made their way into the corn. The minister
+came out and began to advise and rebuke him, but Angus said, 'Let the
+righteous smite me, it shall be a kindness; and let him reprove me, it
+shall be an excellent oil which shall not break my head.'" (Psalm cxli.
+5.) I consider that story and the two which follow quite equal, in their
+diverting pointlessness, to any of those told by Cicero in _De Oratore_,
+Book ii. At one time it was thought advisable to teach Angus how to
+read, but he never could be got to master the alphabet. He would utter
+aloud the following reflections: "_A_ _b_, _ab_: Ah! that is but dry.
+There is no food there for my soul. There is no word about Christ or God
+there, no word about forgiveness of sin. I would rather be at the back
+of a dyke where I would get a moment of the presence of the Lord." As
+Angus usually replied to his associates by a text of Scripture, he must
+have had a good ear for Holy Writ. "His father was one day repairing a
+dyke. Angus tried to assist him and broke the spade. His father's temper
+was roused, and he ran after his son to punish him. Angus ran away
+calling out, 'Oh, Lord, avenge me of mine adversary.'" On one occasion,
+when asked why he had refused to pray in public, he replied that it was
+out of his power to do so at the time. "Why," said his interlocutor,
+"Jonah was able to pray even in the whale's belly." "Yes, yes," said
+Angus, "but I was in a worse state than Jonah: for the whale was in my
+belly."
+
+It may not be unnecessary to state that the word Men in the title of the
+book is to be understood as meaning "men of exceptional piety." The word
+is a technical one in that sense. All the _men_ I have read about were
+fervid Frees, many of them being elders and catechists in that body.
+After the Disruption, there was a wonderful crop of these men produced
+in the Highlands, and through their means, _religion became a very real
+and forcible affair_. Their attitude to life and general outlook on the
+world are quite unlike anything to be found among the luke-warm
+believers of the Laodicean South. We read of one zealot devoting a whole
+winter to the task of combating shinty and tobacco. It is impossible to
+withhold some measure of admiration from Christians so staunch, logical,
+and uncompromising. _Logical?_ Well, here at least is a gem of
+ratiocination. What, for example, was the cause that forced so many
+Skyemen to emigrate to the Canadian plains and the Australian bush? The
+fathers of Skye believed that the crofters, having insufficiently
+appreciated the unique opportunities of divine worship at home, were
+driven by a wrathful deity over the water to a land where there were
+_few or no Presbyterian Churches_.
+
+
+THE AULDEST KIRK.
+
+There are some parts of Scotland that the Reformation seems never to
+have reached. I have been told that up till this day no Protestant
+minister ever preached in Morar (the delightful spot, with lake of same
+name, near Mallaig), and that in consequence Catholics call it "Blessed
+Morar" (_Morar Bheanaichte_). There is a Catholic strip of country,
+extending right through the heart of Scotland, along the Caledonian
+Canal; aristocrats, chiefs, and crofters there boast that their
+ecclesiastical history goes back, uncontaminated by schisms and private
+judgment, right to the time of Ninian and Columba.
+
+It appears evident that the iconoclastic Parliament of 1560, which made
+it unlawful to obey the Pope or say mass, pretty effectually paralysed
+the Catholic Church in the land. Only in secluded districts, such as
+Uist, Barra, Morar, Arisaig, and Glengarry, were the faithful safe from
+prosecution. The organisation of the Church was maimed and broken, and
+hundreds of priests took to flight. To use the cruel words of Milton--
+
+ "Then might ye see
+ Cowls, hoods, and habits, with their wearers, tossed
+ And fluttered into rags; then relics, beads,
+ Indulgences, dispenses, pardons, bulls--
+ The sport of winds."
+
+Having visited a fair number of Catholic districts in the West of
+Scotland, I have given myself the pleasure of reading, as far as is
+available, the historical records of the Pope's faithful adherents
+there. _These are most interesting as showing the pertinacity of
+religious faith among the most hostile surroundings._ The Scots College
+at Rome, founded by Clement VIII., supplied a large number of priests,
+who spread themselves abroad in the glens, and kept the old faith from
+completely perishing. The Roman Catholic College at Scanlan, on the
+Braes of Glenlivet, was a turf-built erection, dating from 1712. It was
+often compulsorily closed and the students dispersed. The most important
+school for priests in the West was at Buorblach, near Morar. Here the
+aspirants for priesthood studied for a year or two, after which they
+proceeded to some one of the Scots colleges abroad--such as Paris,
+Ratisbon, Valladolid, or Rome. Those students who received the whole of
+their instruction at home, and got ordained without going abroad, were
+styled _heather priests_.
+
+The best-known Catholic township of the West Highlands at the present
+time is undoubtedly Arisaig, a charming spot, where the mild air allows
+the wild flowers to spring in profusion and where the fuchsia thrives
+better than anywhere else in Scotland. There is a strikingly elegant
+Catholic Church here, built on a commanding site that dominates the bay.
+In September, 1904, I addressed a meeting in the Astley Hall of Arisaig,
+under the genial chairmanship of the Clerk of the House of Commons. The
+audience was overwhelmingly Catholic, and it was quite evident that all
+were keenly appreciative of the library that had recently been sent to
+the district. It gave me no ordinary pleasure to note that the literary
+society of the place was made up of both Catholics and Protestants, and
+that all the inhabitants, forgetting their religious differences, could
+assemble together as friends on the common meeting-ground of literature.
+Such an amalgamation is bound to mitigate the sectarian rancour that
+too often works like a pestilence in small villages and rural
+communities. It is an excellent feature, too, in such places as Arisaig,
+that the local priest gives every encouragement to his people to read
+and study secular books of an elevating character. It would be strange
+indeed if the representative of a Church which in mediæval times gave
+such splendid encouragement to art and letters, should deem it a duty to
+prohibit his people from availing themselves of the means of culture.
+
+It undoubtedly comes as a surprise to a Lowlander, who is prone to think
+that every born Scot is necessarily a born Protestant, to find in remote
+nooks of his native country, home-grown specimens of the faith that was
+once prevalent everywhere. He has to sit down and muse on the hillside
+over the matter, and, if he is imaginative, he will see by fancy's eye
+the skiff of St. Columba breasting the breakers on its way from Ireland
+to Iona.
+
+
+THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH.
+
+Of all the Churches or sects in Scotland, probably the most remarkable
+is the Episcopalian. Many Englishmen settle in the Lowlands for purposes
+of trade, and, in most cases, bring their religion with them. Such
+immigration explains the numerous Episcopal chapels in the towns of
+southern Scotland. But no such cause can explain the presence of scores
+of small Episcopal congregations in the rural districts of Aberdeen and
+Banff. These have not been imported from over the Border, but in reality
+have a long history behind them. Many of them date from the sixteenth
+and seventeenth centuries. The Stuart kings never liked Presbyterianism,
+and James I. tried to make the Scotch Church as like the English one as
+possible: in 1610, indeed, he managed to bring about the consecration of
+a certain number of Scotch bishops. The Episcopalians in the North
+showed a warm affection for the Stuarts during the distresses of that
+royal house, and such Jacobitism did the scattered congregations a deal
+of harm. The number of Episcopal chapels throughout the land is fairly
+high, but the total of the communicants is relatively small. The clergy
+are a most estimable and cultured body of men, and perform their duties,
+which are often very laborious, in an eminently exemplary fashion. Their
+stipends are ridiculously poor, and the scene of their labours is
+frequently the reverse of lively. Very often, in the bleak moors and
+glens of north-east Scotland, I have spent pleasant and memorable
+evenings in the village rectory. The modes of speech and general
+atmosphere of a Scotch rectory differ piquantly from those of the manse.
+It is certain that a clergyman who is in constant touch with the
+Anglican ritual, develops a special turn of talk and a characteristic
+set of mannerisms.
+
+I am convinced that, in learning and culture, the Episcopal clergy
+compare very favourably with those of the other Churches. Some of them
+have written, both in the departments of theology and general
+literature, works of outstanding and permanent value. In spite of all
+that, however, it does not seem probable that they will make many
+converts to their creed. Presbyterianism has a firm grip on the
+country: symbol and ritual do not thrive well in the cold air of the
+North. Once upon a time, in the Black Isle, as the records of the
+Arpafeelie Episcopal Church show, there was a strong feeling of
+antagonism to Presbyterianism; but that was in 1711, and was probably
+more political than religious.
+
+It is a well-known fact that a large proportion of the aristocracy and
+landed-gentry of Scotland are Episcopalians. This is due, not so much to
+the leisure they have for studying theological problems, as to the fact
+that most of them have been educated in English public schools.
+
+How pleasant it is to contemplate the broad-mindedness of the greatest
+of our Scotch Episcopalians, Sir Walter Scott, as seen in the
+thirty-seventh chapter of _Guy Mannering_! Speaking of religious
+differences, he makes Pleydell say: "_A plain man may go to heaven
+without thinking about them at all_." Even at the present day, there is
+a most regrettable lack of such urbanity in the disputes of educated
+theologians. I picked up a book not long since, which amused as well as
+shocked me greatly. It purported to be a history of _the_ Church in
+Scotland. The author was a facetious Episcopalian, for his history made
+no mention of either the Free, the Established, or the United
+Presbyterian denominations. The Episcopal sect alone had the honour of
+being dubbed a Church. Now, if a writer ever took it on him to write a
+history of the Church in England, he ought to devote space to _all_ the
+bodies, and be careful not to omit mention even of the Plymouth
+Brethren. I rather think that the Plymouth Brethren should have the
+lengthiest treatment of all, seeing that no shred of the Church
+resembles so closely the original type of Christianity.
+
+
+AN INTERLUDE OF METRE.
+
+I have often endeavoured to fix discourses from the Highland pulpits by
+embodying in metre (I do not say poetry) the leading thought or most
+striking illustration that I carried away. For the sake of variety and
+to prevent this chapter from appearing too frivolous, I, at this point,
+give one or two "moderate" sermons in little.
+
+
+I.
+
+ When heavy-laden Christian, panting sore,
+ Had gained the home of the Interpreter,
+ He saw a sorry fellow with great stir
+ Ply a vile muck-rake on a filthy floor;
+ And the more mire the churl raked, the more
+ He smiled, although a winged messenger
+ Floating aloft was eager to confer
+ On him the crown that in her hands she bore.
+ So is it with those fools that waste their days
+ In raking stores of dross and minted gear,
+ Oblivious of the crown of deathless rays
+ That God is offering freely to them here.
+ Miser! your stay on earth is short indeed,
+ Renounce the dross and choose the heavenly meed.
+
+
+II.
+
+ He that is wise will not in haste decide,
+ But look and think before believing aught;
+ Then, having long reflected, will confide
+ To no breast but his own his finished thought,
+ Until experience warrants every jot.
+ Man! Suffer not thy soul to yield to pride
+ Of intellect. Small is thy mortal lot
+ Of wisdom. Others seek the truth beside
+ Thyself. Behold aloft in air there fly
+ Fowls diverse all in nature, strength of wing
+ And keenness: even so the men who hie
+ On the soul's quests. In genius differing,
+ They all some twinkling sparks of truth may see,
+ But the whole flaming round is hid from them and thee.
+
+
+III.
+
+ Thou who in folly thinkest Heaven's King
+ Has sent thee into this fair world to gain
+ As many guineas as, with toil and pain,
+ In threescore years thine avarice can wring
+ From poorer men, be warned! With tiger-spring
+ Fell death will leap upon your life amain
+ And rive you from your opulence, though fain
+ To tarry. Then the jovial heir will fling
+ To the four winds of heaven thy gathered hoard
+ In flaunting joys and unrestricted glee,
+ While costly dishes glitter on the board
+ And the wine flows in ruddy runnels free.
+ Thou, meanwhile, in the shady realms below
+ A bloodless ghost, wilt wander to and fro.
+
+
+IV.
+
+I.
+
+ Though lilies on their graceful stalk
+ Droop, fade, and die,
+ Earth's still renewing forces mock
+ Death's cruelty.
+
+II.
+
+ For roots and seeds within the mould
+ Will thrust again
+ Their sheathed beauties manifold
+ Up to the plain.
+
+III.
+
+ Though flowery hopes of dazzling gleam
+ Wither and die,
+ New hopes in the soul's garden teem
+ Unceasingly.
+
+V.
+
+ O Lord of light, disperse my baffling fears,
+ Give me a look but for a moment's space
+ Upon the tranquil glory of Thy face,
+ To serve as force to fight the chilling years.
+ Clouds hide Thee from me, and the bitter tears
+ Run down my cheek in floods. Out of Thy grace
+ Let my heart's chamber be a dwelling-place
+ For Thee. Come for a little space. Mine ears
+ Strain for the hearing of a word divine
+ Straight from Thy holy lips. No single task
+ Can I at all accomplish or design
+ Without the full assurance that I ask
+ This, namely, that my soul is one with Thee,
+ And Thou dost work Thy purposes by me.
+
+
+THE CHRISTIAN BRETHREN.
+
+It would be well-spent labour if some sympathetic historian could find
+time to write a short account of the Plymouth Brethren, giving details
+of the origin, tenets, divisions, and influence of the sect. I am
+surprised that Mr. Barrie in his notable excursions into Scotch life and
+religion, has never portrayed such a fine specimen of the working-man
+turned theologian.
+
+It must not be supposed that only the rich and the leisurely have what
+is called religious experiences and shadowed souls. The finest
+developments, doubtless, of the religious sense require time and money.
+That leisurely groping after tendencies, that introspective analysis of
+the sins of omission and commission, that delightful perception of the
+falling away from righteousness of your brethren and sisters--all these
+choice sweets are, if they are to be adequately enjoyed, compatible only
+with a minimum of £300 a year. The religious sense and the musical are
+in many points alike. If you wish to develop an initially melodious
+soul, it means expense: you must go to professors, study counterpoint,
+practice many hours daily, and attend concerts of the most exclusive and
+expensive kind. Similarly with religion in its finest flower. You need
+slaves to cook and wash for you if you mean to ecstaticise and see
+beatific visions: you must get the most fashionable and picturesque
+specialists to come and feel your religious pulse, and you must on no
+account neglect the subscription lists. But only those rich enough to be
+hypochondriac can afford such luxuries. Now, in the toiling classes
+there are often good ears for music, and exquisite responsiveness to
+religious sensations. What satisfies such natures and such wants must be
+cheap. The Plymouth Brethren (I ought rather to say _Christian_
+Brethren), have no General Assembly, little or no pedantry of a costly
+kind, and yet, I believe, they supply all the exhilaration of schisms,
+splits, counter-splits, and heresy-hunts. Every man his own General
+Assembly! There may be a lack of the finer touches in such a system, but
+what is lacking in elegance is fully made up in clearness of view and
+rombustious vigour.
+
+In many of the fishing villages on the east coast of Scotland, there are
+large congregations of these worthy men raising their Ebenezers, and
+making a joyful noise on the first day of the week. I have a good deal
+of sympathy with their democratic and direct style of worship. In
+Scotland, when a man gets converted, he feels constrained to _do
+something_, but very often there is little outlet for his energy in the
+calm routine of the fashionable churches--hence the necessity for
+bethels and mission-houses. At their revivals, let me add, one is in
+presence of that mysterious awakening to which every religion owes its
+birth.
+
+In the autumn of 1906, I had an interesting talk with the minister of a
+seaside village on the shore of the Moray Firth, and was distressed to
+find that he was sorely harassed by the lively sect I have mentioned.
+Every now and again a wandering evangelist comes along the coast,
+pitches a tent, and begins a series of gospel services. Those who are
+converted, neglect the church and all its ordinances, and begin
+preaching on their own account; nay, they even buttonhole the minister
+and preach to _him_, accusing him of being an unjust steward, a
+hireling, and no shepherd, and so on. Such conduct creates a very
+painful situation. With a good deal of detail, the long-suffering
+clergyman gave me an account of a visit he had paid to an old woman
+recently converted. The narrative of her conversion as told by herself
+was quaint and touching: "They were a' gettin' it," she said, "and I
+wasna gettin' it. So I jist went to the door and steekit my e'en, and
+raised them to the lift, and _I got it_. Isn't that the way o't, auld
+man?" "Aye, aye, that's the way o't, auld wife," chimed in the husband.
+The latter then took up the wondrous tale: "When she came in and tell't
+me she had got it, I went doon on my knees to thank the Lord jist at the
+fireside, and lo and behold, when I opened my e'en, I was at the street
+door. The Spirit had taken me there, unbeknown to me. So I lifted up my
+voice and called on God's people. And in five minutes the room and
+kitchen were filled wi' saved folk, a' singing hymns, because my auld
+wife had got it at last."
+
+I also remember meeting an old thatcher of eminent talents who seemed to
+me to be on the straight road for Zion, for he fulfilled the Scriptural
+injunction to be fervent in spirit as well as not slothful in business.
+James had at one time been precentor in one of the regular churches, but
+owing to some cantankerous criticism of his melody, he seceded to the
+Brethren, who fearlessly accepted his services gratis. James was
+specially lyrical on the roof, and it was a treat to hear him sing
+"_There is rest for the weary_," as he pushed the thatch into its long
+home:--
+
+ "There is rest for the weary,
+ There is rest for the weary,
+ There is rest for _you_" (with a forceful thrust).
+
+I must not omit to mention (and with reverence be it spoken) that James
+had a reputation far and wide in the country-side, for the vigour and
+extreme unction of his grace before meat. Though giving a humble tenor
+to the initial phrases and using the tar-brush on himself, and the
+hungry company as putrid sinners unworthy even of the least of the
+mercies, he always contrived to reassure everyone by sunnily rounding
+off the matter with some rich and racy allusions to the gracious and
+ample promises of Holy Writ. One could have felt quite comfortable even
+in a slight excess of gluttony after such introductory words of
+blessing. You felt that the occasion had been met, that something like
+perfection had been attained. James was willing to admit shortcomings in
+thatching, or in any department of human activity, so long as his
+superiority in pre-prandial supplication was admitted. But it so
+happened that Fate, whose delight it is to imperil even the stablest
+reputations, sent his way a South-country Brother with a gift in prayer
+truly appalling. At a gathering at which James was present, this
+stranger was honoured by being asked to say grace. In the process, he
+soared to such heights of oratory and supplicatory fervour, that the
+uniform opinion of the guests, as evinced by looks, demeanour, and even
+congratulation, was that James had at last been beaten on his own
+ground. Supreme dejection settled on the thatcher, and neither bite nor
+sup could dislodge the settled melancholy of his soul. After long
+pondering with chin on chest in a corner of that pious throng, he had an
+idea. Sidling up to the matron of the house, he, with a terrible whisper
+of earnestness, addressed her in these words: "Mistress, before we gang
+hame, doon wi' a whang o' cheese and a farl o' cake--it'll no' cost ye
+much--and _I'll ha'e a tussle wi' him for't yet_." She gladly complied
+with his request. His excitement gave him inspiration, and over that
+cheese and oatcake, he delivered himself of such a grace as had never
+before proceeded from his lips. A murmur of involuntary admiration
+greeted the conclusion. James was comforted, and once more held his head
+erect.
+
+To talk of the Evolution of Religion to men like James would be a
+complete waste of time. Such men regard themselves as the acme of the
+process: whatever modifications may supervene after their day will be
+deteriorations. It is quite impossible to persuade an enthusiast that he
+is a mere phenomenon of development, and not, actually and now, the roof
+and crown of things. Even if persuasion were possible, it would be a
+cruelty to disillusionise these happy wights,--men who, with such
+sublime confidence, can read their title clear to mansions in the sky.
+They have a complete key to the universe, and are as happy as if they
+had seen the whole vast circle of truth.
+
+
+DRIMNIN IN MORVEN.
+
+How many of my readers know where Drimnin is? If I should say, "In the
+parish of Morven," it is possible the majority of them would not be
+greatly edified, unless they had acquaintance with the saintly Macleod's
+_Reminiscences of a Highland Parish_. Well, Drimnin is on the mainland,
+nearly opposite the entrance to the haven of Tobermory. The _Chevalier_
+nears into the coast when anyone wishes to land, and two boatmen,
+obeying a signal, pull out from shore into the open, and the passenger
+leaps, as gracefully as circumstances permit, into their arms--amid the
+cheers of those left on the steamer.
+
+The clergyman of Morven ministers to a parish that has over a hundred
+miles of seaboard, and, strange to say, there have been only three
+incumbents in it during the last hundred and thirty years, himself being
+the third, with twenty-six years' ministry to his credit so far. These
+facts procured him an extraordinary reception in America, where he spent
+a holiday recently. The Americans, with whom change is the permanent
+element, looked with amazement on a minister who came from a parish with
+such a record. They thronged round his hotel to get shaking hands with
+him, while he blushed to think that homage was being paid to the
+longevity of his predecessors. It is no treat to be a lion in Maine.
+
+The visitor to Drimnin should return to Oban by driving to Lochaline,
+where there is a pier. A mere glance up that inlet of Lochaline is
+sufficient to prove the unerring accuracy of Sir Walter's description:
+"Fair Lochaline's woodland shore." Scott had a marvellous eye for
+scenery, and having once seen a locality, could describe it better than
+a native could do who had lived in the neighbourhood from youth
+upwards.[19]
+
+ [19] I may here refer to a pleasant three hours spent in rowing
+ on Lochaline in the company of Mr. Hugh Macintyre, an old
+ gentleman full of Scott and well versed in the lore of the
+ locality. He was a policeman in Glasgow for thirty-five years
+ (latterly as guardian of the Kelvingrove Picture Gallery), and
+ now, in the enjoyment of good health and a pension, spends his
+ time reading and doing good in his native district. Mr.
+ Macintyre's earliest recollection is of his father being evicted
+ from a small holding, at the head of the loch, in the "forties."
+
+ Tennyson and Palgrave were visitors at Ardtornish, as Mr. Lang
+ tells us, but made no special impression on the natives, who
+ styled them respectively _Tinman_ and _Pancake_.
+
+
+CRAIGNISH.
+
+At Craignish (two miles _or so_ from Ardfern, next pier to Luing on the
+way from Crinan to Oban) I was astonished to find what I think is unique
+in Scotland, an old clergyman, born in 1824, still, without any aid
+whatever, performing all the duties of a parish minister in one of the
+wildest parts of Argyllshire. I refer to the Rev. Mr. M'Michael, who was
+chairman at the lecture. The old gentleman, who is remarkably hale in
+body and never melancholy at meal-time (as he slyly puts it), is prone
+to speak by preference of the events of "auld lang syne." He gave me a
+most vivid account of Professor John Wilson (whom, as I do not now live
+in Paisley, I may safely venture to call Paisley's _greatest_ son), who
+was one of his teachers, and who, as "Christopher North," wrote so many
+witty and solid articles that undeservedly perished in _Blackwood's
+Magazine_ at the beginning of last reign. I have rarely had such a treat
+as my talk with this hale-hearted octogenarian. His charming daughters
+keep house for him, and employ their leisure time weaving at a loom of
+their own. The sheep that graze on the glebe supply the wool, and the
+intermediate stages between the back of the sheep and the woollen
+overcoat on the back of the needy are all supervised by these dexterous
+daughters of the manse.
+
+The coach to Craignish passes through a bit of Scotland that, in the
+leafy month of June, must be glorious to behold. I passed along in a
+fierce and chilling blizzard of sleet and snow. If a poet could keep
+warm, thought I, this would be the spot for him to get impressive scenes
+for his word-pictures. At one part, the road ziz-zags up a hill for
+three miles, alongside a furious burn, to a height of six hundred feet;
+from which eminence one sees, on the right, great bare crags and steep
+heights, and, on the left, an inlet of the Atlantic foaming wildly
+below. Ye gentlemen of the cloth, whose lot is cast in towns and who sit
+at home in ease, think of the trials of your rural brethren in their
+attempts to drive in winter through drifting snow to a presbytery
+meeting fourteen miles away![20]
+
+ [20] I could mention another rural parish, considerably further
+ north, where, two winters ago, the roads were so badly blocked
+ with snow that for five consecutive weeks no church services
+ could be held! Both minister and congregation were overcome with
+ grief.
+
+
+A MODEL MINISTER.
+
+Not far from the city of Aberdeen is a little village of seafaring folk,
+and the worthy minister, the Rev. Mr. Pollock, is guide, philosopher,
+and friend to the entire community. Up to his manse, which is a mile
+from the uneven and fishy streets, there is a constant _va-et-vient_ of
+parishioners. One old widow wishes him to write to her son at the
+Yarmouth fishing, herself being ignorant of English spelling; this old
+man, painfully hobbling uphill on his stick, and muttering to himself as
+he goes, desires the faithful pastor to come and cheer a bed-ridden wife
+who is failing fast; that young fisher-lass will blush as she tells that
+her young man is on the way home to claim her as his own, with the
+Church's aid. Mr. Pollock is the confidential repository of all their
+secrets: nothing in their lives is hidden from him; he knows all of
+comic and tragic in their lowly careers. Along with his wife, he visits
+every house in the place, and from intimate knowledge can tell you,
+nodding his head to this or that house as he walks along, the worth or
+worthlessness of every native of the village. His time is so fully taken
+up with pure religion and undefiled, that he has no time to waste on the
+Higher Criticism.
+
+A tout for some wandering minstrels recently came over from Aberdeen,
+meaning to leave one of his red-and-yellow bills (announcing a
+performance) in each of the local shops. The minister saw him as he
+distributed the bills, and closely followed up on his trail. Mr. Pollock
+entered each shop and said to the shopkeeper: "Please let me see the
+bill you have there in the window." On getting it, he would scan it, and
+request to get keeping it. In no shop was he refused, so that by the
+time he got to the end of the village, he was carrying two dozen large
+concert placards, while the tout, merrily whistling, and all unconscious
+of the nullity of his labours, was on his way back to Aberdeen. "Lead us
+not into temptation," said the minister, as he thrust the garish
+announcements into his study stove. None of Mr. Pollock's flock were at
+the concert that night. Perhaps, if any had gone, little harm would have
+been done. The minister, however, thought they were better at home, or
+at the local prayer-meeting.
+
+Mr. Pollock's predecessor was a thin, unemotional man--a geologist--who
+spent an important percentage of his time chipping rocks and looking for
+fossils. Owing to this mania, his flock were forgotten, and came to
+forget _him_. No wonder if the church attendance dwindled! _Ab uno disce
+omnes_, as Virgil says. One day this ordained geologist had agreed to
+baptize a child in a hamlet some miles away, and set forth to walk to
+the place in good time. Unhappily, by the roadside, there was a quarry,
+into which, by instinct, the minister glided, keen and eager-eyed. He
+stayed therein for four hours, and forgot all about the infant
+(squalling, no doubt, in special robe, and impatient for the
+christening), the waiting relatives, the inevitable decanter, and the
+thick cuts of indigestible bun. The minister, I say, trudged home with
+his treasure-trove of petrified ferns and foot-marked shale--a greater
+fossil than any under his own cases of glass. His memory was stirred by
+his wife's catechising, but it was too late to undo the mischief.
+
+
+MINISTERIAL TRIALS IN OLDEN TIMES.
+
+In modern times, ministers are badly paid, considering the expenses of
+their training and long education, but they are better paid than they
+used to be. In 1756, the minister of Ferintosh, a big, active man, with
+the object of adding something to his stipend, leased the meal-mill of
+Alcaig from the laird of Culloden. The combination of miller and
+minister did not please his parishioners. It never occurred to these
+clowns that the occupation of miller is singularly adapted for
+reflection: spiritual and bodily nourishment (thought of together) might
+well form a field of thought fertile in instructive metaphors; "the dark
+round of the dripping wheel," the work of separating husks and flour,
+the topics of dearth and abundance, might all come to have a homiletic
+value to a serious-minded teacher of religion. But a cry of scandal,
+directed not against themselves for underpaying their minister, but
+against that worthy man for being an _ordained miller_, arose in the
+parish. A member of the congregation was deputed to give a gentle hint
+to the minister that the two occupations were incompatible. The
+interview took place on the high road. "What news this morning, Thomas?"
+said the minister. "Have you not heard of the fearful news?" said
+Thomas. "No, what is it?" "Well, everybody's saying," said Thomas, with
+a whisper of affected horror, "that _the minister's wife has taken up
+with the big miller of Alcaig_." The delicacy of this hint was such that
+the minister resigned his lease.
+
+The trials of ministers long ago were truly great. Witches had to be
+reckoned with, as the aforementioned Ferintosh minister, who was their
+foe, knew to his cost. By their incantations they caused him to be
+afflicted with somnolency. As this sleepy fit usually came on in church
+between the first psalm and the prayer, it can be easily seen how awful
+were the reprisals of these Satanic hags.
+
+
+AN ARTFUL DODGER.
+
+The Rev. Mr. Rogers, minister of a parish in Fife, was, like many
+another worthy man, in sore financial straits at one period of his life.
+He was a widower, and probably this fact accounts for his displenished
+exchequer. With supreme audacity he touched the bell of a rich old
+maiden lady, and on entering her boudoir he bluntly admitted his lack of
+funds, and said, "Give me £200 and I'll marry you." She gave him the
+money, and for months after never saw his face. Finally she wrote asking
+an interview. He came, and she tartly said, "Did you not say, Mr.
+Rogers, that if I gave you £200, you would marry me?" "Certainly I did,"
+said the cunning minister, "and _I'm ready to marry you whenever you
+produce your man: where is he_?" This anecdote shows the difficulty of
+being unambiguous when speaking English, and furnishes an argument for
+the adoption of French as the language of courtship as well as of
+diplomacy.
+
+The same foxy ecclesiastic wished two things, both of which his heritors
+flatly refused: (a) a new manse, and (b) a site with a wide
+prospect. Finding them intractable, he professed humility, and craved
+merely a species of scaffolding to buttress up one of the walls of the
+old manse. The heritors marvelled a little at the strange request, but,
+glad of being saved from the cost of a new building, authorised the
+buying of some sturdy joists to prop up a wall that the minister averred
+was off the plumb. No sooner was the buttressing timber in position than
+Mr. Rogers appeared with a violent complaint in the Sheriff Court,
+declaring that the manse was like to fall about his ears, and that the
+heritors had palpably admitted the danger by erecting a scaffold. The
+Sheriff expressed strong disapproval of the heritors' stinginess, and
+ordered them to get a new manse built for the minister. Now as to the
+site! To spite Mr. Rogers, the heritors determined to deprive him of a
+good view, and directed the St. Andrews builder to erect the new manse
+down in the valley on a broad bank by a burnside. The master-builder
+placed pegs and marks in the ground at the prescribed place and returned
+to St. Andrews, telling his workmen to proceed next day to begin the
+work, and mentioning that they would know the site by marks he had
+placed there. At cockcrow the minister was afoot, busy transferring the
+pegs to the summit of a lovely knoll. The tradesmen came out to the
+country, and looking for the site found it on the hill-top and began
+their work. After they had been a week or more on the walls, out from
+St. Andrews came the master to see how his men were progressing. He came
+near a complete collapse when he saw his men on the hill instead of in
+the valley. He spoke winged words to them, but it was too late. In such
+fashion did Mr. Rogers outwit his heritors. I regret that no literary
+relics of this acute divine are to be had. He seems to have been in his
+way a kind of Higher Critic judging from a remark he made on the Ark:
+"How did you manage," he said, as if addressing Noah in person, "how did
+you manage to keep the first plank of your boat from getting rotten
+before the last was nailed on, if you actually took 120 years to put the
+whole thing together?"
+
+
+SOME ANECDOTES FROM GIGHA.
+
+The late minister of Gigha, a small island community of 360 souls off
+the coast of Kintyre was a cleric of great humour and full of stories.
+His church was the only one in the island, a fact of which he was proud.
+At a communion service, a minister from the mainland, struck off a
+monumental phrase in one of his prayers. He said "Thou hast shown, O
+Lord, Thy confidence in Thy servant, the devout minister of Gigha, for
+lo! out of the plentitude of Thy great mercy Thou has seen fit _to give
+him an island all to himself_." I have heard and do in part believe it,
+that the effect of such a supplication in Gaelic is overpoweringly
+strong.
+
+This same minister "of the island," whose digestion I may say, was so
+perfect that he could triumphantly absorb strong tea and poached eggs as
+a regular midnight meal, told me one night over this collation, the
+story of a fisherman in one of the Western Islands, whose prayer before
+going to sea was of a singular character. He invariably addressed the
+Deity as _Sibshe_ (You) instead of the ordinary _Thusa_ (Thou). On one
+occasion, when the weather was squally and danger was anticipated, he
+prayed thus: "O Lord God, my Beloved, if You would be so good as to take
+the care of Mary and Jessie, my daughters; but that She-Devil, my wife,
+the daughter of Peter Macpherson, I am indifferent about her: she will
+have another husband before I am eaten by the crabs!"
+
+Here follows another well-known story from the same authority. A
+Lowlander, taking a week's sail on one of Macbrayne's cargo-boats
+stepped ashore, on Sunday morning, at a remote insular port, to attend
+church, as was fit and proper. The text was the well-known verse "Can
+the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard his spots?" The minister,
+strange to say, preached a long and painfully vivid sermon on _leprosy_.
+The tourist waited, after sermon, in order to talk with the minister and
+quietly remonstrate with him. He said: "You gave us an excellent
+discourse to-day, but do you think it followed quite appropriately from
+the text: surely you are aware that a _leopard_ and a _leper_ are two
+different things." The minister, eying the tourist with a look of
+indignant scorn for a second, lifted up his voice and denounced him
+thus: "Out of my sight with you: I know what you are; you are one of
+these pestilent fellows called Higher Critics. Begone!"
+
+In the Long Island, it is an article of fixed belief among the stricter
+Presbyterians that Catholics are outside any scheme of salvation.
+Episcopalians, too, are regarded as being in an extremely dubious
+position. Any stick, however, is good enough to beat the partisans of
+the Pope. "Brethren," said a minister near Stornoway, "I have forgotten
+my sermon to-day: but _I'll just say a word or two against the
+Catholics_." Such a philippic, he seemed to think, could never be out of
+season.
+
+Denunciation has always been a favourite method of the religious bigot.
+If the various sects of the Christian Church, could go on their way,
+ameliorating the world, and leaving each other in peace, the millennium
+would be within reasonable distance. I heard a U.F. say to a Wee Free:
+"Donald, you'll no' gang to Heaven, _because I'm bad_." The sentence is
+good enough for an epigram. Unfortunately, too many of our sectaries
+think it the prime virtue of their faith to run down their neighbours.
+
+
+GROWING POPULARITY OF RUSKIN.
+
+One of the most cheerful features in the present-day thought of
+Scotland, and one from which we may anticipate excellent results in
+every department of social and religious life, is the growing popularity
+of the great apostle of the nineteenth century, John Ruskin. Though
+dead, he continues to speak; and from close inspection of the registers
+that show in detail the nature of the books asked for, at the various
+village libraries, I have noted, with no small pleasure, that Ruskin's
+works are eagerly read all over the Highlands and islands of Scotland.
+This is something quite new, and will, I am certain, work immense good.
+
+For Ruskin's work in the department of religion, no words can be too
+commendatory. His genius was in thorough accord with the spirit of the
+Biblical writers, and his modes of speech and illustration perpetually
+reminiscent of Scripture. He loses no opportunity of dwelling on the
+culturing influence of the Bible. There is also a fine tolerance in his
+religious teaching, which is alike helpful and suggestive. His is that
+variety of teaching which we find most effectively outside of the ranks
+of professional commentators, and which comes through the keen flashes
+of genius that accompany the insight of the literary artist. He has
+pointed out to us with great eloquence that, while specific doctrines
+take at various epochs very different degrees of importance, and aspects
+of rite, ceremony, and all that, appeal with changing force to different
+generations, the essence of religious feeling, without which dogma
+becomes harsh and rite insipid, hardly varies at all; seeing that in the
+musings of the great minds of all ages, we have oftenest the pure gold
+of devotion, mingled, though it may sometimes be, with the adhesive
+dross of superstition. He also warns us of the danger of mistaking
+pugnacity for piety, and earnestly urges that, at every moment of our
+lives, we should be trying to find out, not in what we differ from other
+men, but in what we agree. Ruskin considers this to be the correct
+spirit in which to approach ancient as well as modern religion,
+believing that if a reader cannot understand a spiritual agency, or
+thinks that the best of ancient men were not dominated by any such, the
+understanding of the very alphabet of history will be endangered. It
+would tend greatly to salvation from arid formalism, if ministers would
+teach that Plato, Sophocles, Browning, Carlyle, are all apostles of
+religion. A living word from an intuitionist like the last-named not
+unfrequently vivifies with new force the dark sayings of a Hebrew seer,
+in much more direct fashion than half-a-score of mutilated Pentateuchs
+made in the delirium of the Higher Criticism.
+
+In spite of his unsystematic procedure, Ruskin deserves to be numbered
+among the men who have earned the gratitude of their fellows, by
+translating some of the ever-vital aspects of religion into the
+vocabulary of the hour. The language of religious discourse is liable to
+a subtle kind of pedantry, requiring a vigorous intellect adequately to
+dissolve. New illustrations, novel forms of definition, are often
+helpful in expelling the dreariness of outworn and meaningless phrases.
+Ruskin's task is facilitated by the nice balance of his intellectual and
+imaginative endowments, by the fact that his words are not mere symbols
+of definite connotation, but marvellous centres of emotional force.
+Happily he did not seek to elaborate any system of religion: but now
+here, now there, in his books, one comes upon the pure gold of religion,
+enshrined in exquisite jewelries of diction, which glimmer on (if I may
+say so) to the utmost verge of emotion, and more successfully than any
+formal harangue, work out their intended function. Such works as _Unto
+this Last_ and _Munera Pulveris_, however keen the mental antagonism
+they may initially provoke, mark a period in the spiritual life of the
+reader: no matter what the prepossessions of a man may be, these books
+will modify them. He is reverent, but, like Plato, he is dynamic. You
+can't sit at ease as you read his pages, for they are charged as much
+with defiance as with guidance.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+EDUCATIONAL.
+
+ Some Insular Dominies--Education Act of 1872--Education in the
+ Highlands--Feeding the hungry--Parish Council
+ boarders--Dwindling attendances--Arnisdale--Golspie Technical
+ School--On the Sidlaws--Some surprises--Arran schools--Science
+ and literature--Study of Scott--The old classical dominie--Vogue
+ of Latin in former times--Teachers and
+ examinations--Howlers--Competing subjects.
+
+
+SOME INSULAR DOMINIES.
+
+It is by no means an easy matter for a teacher to get south again once
+he is installed in a remote Highland school. He accepts a distant rural
+or insular post, marries the girl of his heart, gets settled in the
+schoolhouse of the glen or township, and rarely moves thence all the
+succeeding years of his life. He becomes identified with local affairs;
+plays whist maybe with the doctor, the factor, and the banker; and is
+apt to magnify the cackle of his bourg into the great Voice that echoes
+round the world. The monotony of his life is varied by such happenings
+as a birth or a death in his own household, a visit from the emissary of
+My Lords, an epidemic of measles, a general election, and the like. I
+don't say these men are unhappy, but unless they develop a hobby,
+torpidity is bound to settle like a mist upon their brains. Such studies
+as geology, botany, and gardening, are sovereign for driving off the
+vapours of ennui. Nor are golf, angling, and the composition of verse,
+specifics that the rural dominie can afford to despise.
+
+I have in my mind at this moment the portraits of many notable gentlemen
+(for true gentlemen they are, though their purses are thin) who have
+given up their lives to educating the progeny of the inclement North.
+Lamont, for example, whom I remember as a first-class mathematician, is
+living in the marshy navel of an Outer Isle, amid wild-fowl and spirals
+of peat-reek. If you want to visit him you have (1) to cross the billowy
+western deep; (2) drive fifteen miles in a trap; (3) traverse a
+four-mile arm of the sea in a ferry that needs baling; (4) proceed seven
+miles to another ferry two miles in breadth; (5) hop, step, and jump
+three miles along a narrow and tortuous track, enough to give vertigo to
+a goat. Lamont is not unhappy: he keeps his mind active by solving stiff
+quadratic equations and fiddling with Cartesian co-ordinates. I hope he
+will get credit for all these studies, when the last trump sounds, for
+he gets little enough at present.
+
+Ramsay, too, is a dweller among these treeless bogs, and is engaged,
+during his leisure, on a translation of Anacreon which will never be
+finished, or, if finished, will never be published. I called on him and
+immolated myself on the altar of his Anacreon in order to give him a
+little pleasure. He, later on, enlarged on his school, scholars, and
+daily life. The horizon of the boys and girls is extremely limited: most
+of them have never seen either a pig or a policeman. Cabbages have only
+been recently introduced into the district, but are already thriving
+wonderfully well considering the thin soil. There are of course no
+trees: for what trees could stand against the buffeting of the fierce
+wintry gales of the Atlantic? Ramsay's only chum is a missionary, who is
+of an antiquarian turn, and goes fumbling about for arrow-heads and
+prehistoric bracelets, especially after a storm, when the hill-sides are
+laid bare.
+
+Neither Lamont nor Ramsay know a word of Gaelic, and there they are in
+districts where English is a foreign language. Needless to say, the lack
+of Gaelic is a terrible drawback to these two men. They should never
+have been where they are, for they are aliens. The scholars, unbreeched
+little rogues, have an advantage over their teacher, and in the
+playground talk the tongue of the Celt invariably, and may be maligning
+him for all he knows. I am afraid, too, that teacher and minister do not
+always consider themselves as auxiliaries in these outer isles. The
+younger generation of teachers have, as might be expected, a more
+extensive knowledge of books than the old school of Presbyterian
+ministers. The latter, feeling their literary inferiority, are inclined
+to regard the teacher as an intruder whose work in the school-room will
+cause the rising generation to look slightingly on the "essentials." I
+have in my possession numerous letters from Highland teachers dealing
+with this fear on the part of the clergy, that novels and secular
+literature generally will pervert the minds of the people. The addition
+of Mrs. Humphrey Ward's books to a library was recently likened to the
+arrival of the Serpent in Eden.
+
+
+EDUCATION ACT OF 1872.
+
+In one of the best-known chapters of _Rob Roy_, Bailie Nicol Jarvie, the
+utilitarian Glasgow merchant, says to his cattle-reiving kinsman: "Your
+boys, Rob, dinna ken the very multiplication table, which is the root o'
+a useful knowledge, and it's my belief they can neither read, write, nor
+cipher, if sic a thing could be believed o' ane's ain connections in a
+Christian land." Rob replies in a sentence that is worthy of being put
+alongside the remark of old Earl Douglas in the poem of _Marmion_:
+"Hamish can bring down a blackcock on the wing with a single bullet, and
+Rob can drive a dirk through a twa-inch board." These quotations
+adequately explain the almost complete absence of prose remains in the
+literature of the Gael. Bards there were in plenty, but they could
+neither read nor write.
+
+In the year 1872, education was made the concern of the nation. It was
+rightly considered to be a standing menace to the security of the realm
+that ignorance, which is the parent of disorder and lawlessness, should
+be the doom of a large proportion of the nation. Rather than hazard the
+dangers of an illiterate population, education was undertaken by the
+State, and paid for out of the national purse. The analogy between
+disease and ignorance is, in truth, sufficiently close to justify both
+sanitation and education coming into the wide domain of imperial duties.
+
+Looking back on the changes that resulted in the Lowlands from the
+Education Act of 1872, we see grounds for criticism. The measure, like
+all earthly things, was imperfect. There was something hard and
+inelastic about the system fostered by the old Code. The psychology of
+Child Nature was almost totally ignored. A system of examination was
+established that assumed an equal and mechanical progress on the part of
+every child every year. Yet, in spite of grave defects, the Act of 1872
+brought inestimable blessings with it. For one thing, the health
+conditions of education were vastly improved. Many of the old schools
+were absolute hovels. After 1872, large, airy, and spacious buildings,
+were erected in every district of the land. It was no longer a case of
+one old dominie facing singly a whole regiment of unruly youngsters:
+every school was organised and disciplined into regular and seemly
+order. We had the advantage in Scotland of a complete system of School
+Boards, and that awakened an intense and universal interest in
+educational affairs. The old parochial schools of Scotland had many
+admirable features, but in 1872 they were quite unfit to cope with the
+nation's needs. On the whole, the School Board system was a decided boon
+to the land.
+
+
+EDUCATION IN THE HIGHLANDS.
+
+It is only since the Act of 1872 that any education of a serious or
+systematic kind has been attempted in the Celtic parts of Scotland.
+Nevertheless, a word of praise is due to the Society for Promoting
+Christian Knowledge and other civilising agencies of the Churches
+(Established and Free), for their work during the educational night that
+preceded the Act. These agencies were, of course, utterly inadequate to
+meet the needs of the Highlands, as may be easily seen from the fact
+that in 1862, over 47 per cent. of the men who married, could not sign
+their own names. But, indeed, what resources, save those of the Imperial
+Treasury, could ever be adequate to meet the expense of educating the
+children spread over such wide and sparsely-peopled tracts? Sheriff
+Nicolson, one of the most fervid Gaels that ever lived, made a report to
+Government in 1865, characterising the education given in the Highland
+schools as lamentably insufficient.
+
+The effects of the Act of 1872 were slow but sure, and in the course of
+fifteen years a change, analogous to that effected by General Wade in
+the state of the roads, was brought about in the realm of education. Yet
+the expenses involved in the working of the measure were of an unduly
+burdensome kind, in spite of the generous bounty of the Education
+Department. In some of the large parishes of the Long Island, the heavy
+school rate was such a cause of complaint that My Lords were forced to
+take very drastic measures to relieve the financial strain. In summing
+up the results of the Education Act, Professor Magnus Maclean says:
+"Among the good things that education has brought the Highlanders, are a
+knowledge of English, wider social and political interests, a brighter
+intelligence and brighter outlook, freedom from mental vacuity and
+traditional superstitions."
+
+
+FEEDING THE HUNGRY.
+
+Probably, as I have hinted, one of the chief benefits of the Education
+Act, was that teaching had to be carried on in conditions of space and
+air. Given such conditions and an enthusiastic master, some good
+progress will certainly be made.
+
+Connected with the physical side of education we have had, of late,
+signs of a new departure. There is a talk of _feeding the hungry_.
+
+Every parent worthy of the name is proud to provide food and clothing
+for his children. That's what he's there for. But it does not require
+much keenness of vision to see that there are many parents unworthy of
+the name, and that, by the dark and inscrutable degrees of Heaven, such
+worthless individuals are often allowed to be parents of a numerous
+progeny. We must (i) inject into these wastrels the feeling of
+responsibility and (ii) prevent the children from dying of starvation.
+The first problem requires lengthy treatment and is perhaps hopeless of
+accomplishment; the second can be done at once by philanthropy, either
+individual or national.
+
+However much it may wound the pride of our gilded youth, it can hardly
+be asserted that birth and rank are matters that involve the slightest
+personal merit. It seems to be an affair of the purest accident into
+what class of society a child is born. We have overcome the difficulties
+and dangers of youth--most of us--but it might well have been otherwise.
+Soften your hearts, ye political economists, and cease to regard the
+poor, the weak, and the wretched as criminals. If there is no wealth
+but life, our country must soon be poor indeed should the rising
+generation be sickly and underfed. Bairns must not be allowed to study
+on an empty stomach.
+
+
+PARISH COUNCIL BOARDERS.
+
+Let me here mention a point alluded to by more than one friend of the
+Highlands. It has reference to one aspect of the new science called
+Eugenics, which deals with the means for producing the maximum of vigour
+in our nation. It is not well enough known that for years the
+authorities have been pouring into a few of the islands and straths of
+the North and West a great number of maimed, consumptive, and mentally
+defective children. Some houses in the Hebrides have three or four of
+these children, who, but for the action of the authorities, would be
+living under the most deplorable conditions of life in the towns. The
+results, as regarding improvement in health and physique, are of the
+most encouraging kind.[21]
+
+After a certain age the official subsidy ceases, and the children as a
+rule go to work on the farms and crofts. It is evident that such
+extensive planting out of city boys and girls is bound by and by to work
+a great change in the composition of our rural districts. It is believed
+that some of the islands would soon be without children but for these
+incomers: it is a well-known fact that the indigenous youthful
+population of certain of them is very meagre indeed. We are thus in
+modern times witnessing some most instructive operations of Nature: for
+generations the country has been depleted to swell the bloated
+population of the towns; and now the wastage of the cities is being sent
+back to the country to get a renewal of vigour at the primeval fountain
+of health.
+
+There is one further point of great moment. As a proportion, relatively
+large, of these children come of morally dubious parentage, it is of
+supreme interest to know their subsequent career and conduct. I have
+seen reports and statistics which seem to prove that questionable
+heredity can be overborne by healthy surroundings and good training; in
+other words, that the offspring of criminals may, if rescued early from
+a vicious environment, become respectable citizens. Such facts ought to
+rejoice the hearts of all moral reformers.
+
+ [21] In that part of South Arran which lies between Dippen and
+ Shannochie, there is high up on the hillside, a row of cottages
+ and crofts collectively nicknamed "Mount Misery." The reason for
+ this sinister name is that in most of the houses there is some
+ maimed, consumptive, or imbecile child boarded out by the Parish
+ Council. The children are better there than selling matches at
+ St. Enoch's Station: they are well looked after and almost
+ invariably improve in health.
+
+
+DWINDLING ATTENDANCES.
+
+It is in the country school that the need for new blood is most apparent
+to the eye. In schools capable of holding 120 children, you will often
+find a shrunken roll of less than a dozen. A gentleman of mature years
+usually does all the teaching and keeps himself from getting insane by
+breeding hens and cultivating roses in his spare time. He has also, in
+all likelihood, the little pickings of officialdom in the district, and
+is registrar, session-clerk, and precentor. One facetious teacher, who
+dwelt on a wide moor, headed his letter to me _Parish Council Chambers_,
+thereby suggesting marble staircases and sumptuous furniture. It was
+this same teacher who, on being asked to bring forward Standard V. for
+inspection, had to admit that Standard V. was laid up with a broken leg.
+For such small schools there is an increasing difficulty in finding male
+teachers.[22] Widows, who in their ante-nuptial days, had been engaged
+in teaching are often preferred to men, for reasons of salary. The lot
+of such women, who have usually families to support out of their meagre
+earnings, is hard indeed: if they keep their health, they manage
+tolerably well, but when illness comes into the house, there must be a
+deal of suffering and distress. The young pupils who attend the remote
+schools of the uplands, also deserve much sympathy. During the heavy
+snows and extreme cold of winter, these children--often ill-shod and
+scantily fed--have to trudge along miles of country cross-roads or
+hill-paths to their little school. Our country is a glory to the eye
+when mid-summer and autumn are there, but think of the harsh winter
+months with their torrents of driving rain, their whirlwinds of hail
+and sleet and the icy nip of the blasts that blow down the snow-sheeted
+glens.
+
+ [22] A country teacher in Kintyre, with a roll of eight, said to
+ me: "We have had only one marriage in the district during the
+ last year, and the bridegroom was aged _three score and fifteen_.
+ I wonder what education is coming to: there is little or no
+ patriotism about Kintyre or my roll would be higher. I wish I
+ could get the people to think more imperially than they do at
+ present."
+
+
+ARNISDALE, ETC.
+
+It will be perhaps interesting to the general reader if I strive, by
+drawing on my reminiscences, to give him an idea of how education is
+carried on in certain remote corners of Scotland at the present time. He
+will, perhaps, be led to admire as much as I do the noble work that is
+being done by teachers and inspectors for the rising generation of the
+country.
+
+Arnisdale, on the mainland facing Skye, is a very destitute district,
+and has suffered much from the failure of the once-flourishing
+herring-fishery of Loch Hourn. One can see by the attire of the children
+that the poverty must be exceptional, even for the Highlands. The
+teacher says that in winter she has to think as much how to feed the
+children as to teach them. By the charity of some benevolent visitors,
+she was, last winter, able to give the pupils a mid-day meal of cocoa
+and biscuits. It is a sad contrast to the extraordinary beauty of this
+picturesque spot that such dire misery should overtake a proportion of
+the natives during the winter season.
+
+Arnisdale is not very accessible, even in the height of the summer
+traffic, and when one gets there, it is a problem how to get away. I
+asked the captain of the _Glencoe_ to set me down near what is called
+the _dry island_, in Loch Hourn, and thence I was rowed ashore by two
+very wild-looking, unkempt boatmen. The school-house, where I lodged, is
+right on the beach, and just at the base of the gigantic Ben Screel.
+Twelve miles along the coast, by a road of the most awe-inspiring kind,
+one comes to the interesting nook of Glenelg, with its Pictish towers
+and ruined barracks.
+
+It was a mild and hazy morning when I traversed the road between
+Arnisdale and Glenelg. On coming to the summit, a great breeze arose and
+drove away the heavy white mists from the Sound of Sleat, and showed the
+white, sentinel-like lighthouse of Isle Ornsay and great fertile
+stretches of the near portion of Skye. Reluctantly the clouds finally
+curled and rolled away before the wind and the glitter of the sun, until
+the Cuchullins were visible beyond the water and the green peninsula of
+Sleat.
+
+In a cosy recess near the highest part of the road, beside a bubbling
+spring, a _gipsy family_ had pitched its tent. I admired the taste shown
+in the selection of a place commanding such a view. The family was still
+under canvas, but hanging on the branch of a tree was a worn and
+mud-stained skirt. Do not ladies in hotels, in similar fashion, hang out
+their dusty and travel-soiled attire at the doors of their chambers? And
+perhaps the dark-skinned owner had hung up her dank and dripping weeds
+in the hope that some silvan faun or Robin Goodfellow would, without a
+tip, perform the dusting process, in this case so palpably necessary. We
+do wrong in supposing that imagination is not the portion of these
+woodland rovers.
+
+One of the most difficult problems of the Education Department is to see
+that gipsy children get a suitable amount of schooling. "Here awa',
+there awa', wandering Willie," is applicable to all their tribe. How
+can progressive instruction be carried on where there is no fixity of
+habitation? One day the camp is pitched on an eminence overlooking Loch
+Hourn; but before twelve hours have passed, the nomads may have crossed
+the ferry at Kyleakin and be warming their hands round a blaze of stolen
+peats in the wild moorland between Portree and Dunvegan. Only in winter,
+when frost and snow drive the gipsies into the city slums, do the
+children get some smattering of the three R's.
+
+
+GOLSPIE TECHNICAL SCHOOL.
+
+There are now in the Highlands a number of excellent higher class public
+schools, in which the elements of secondary education are taught. The
+pupils in these schools are drawn from wide areas, and, by means of
+bursaries, can board away from their own homes. The Golspie Technical
+School is an altogether unique higher-grade institution. At a library
+lecture delivered in Golspie, the boys belonging to the school
+(forty-eight in number, divided into four clans, each with a chief) were
+present, accompanied by the Principal and his staff. My attention was at
+once drawn to them by their fine physique, their gentlemanly bearing,
+and their earnest attention. Next day, I had the pleasure of visiting
+the school and seeing the working of the scheme initiated by the Duchess
+of Sutherland.
+
+The institution is really a boarding-school for poor lads of talent
+belonging to the northern counties. They are under the eye of some
+teacher at every hour of the day, and are kept incessantly busy, not at
+books alone. They are taught to do their own washing, dusting,
+scrubbing, cooking, and darning. The training is excellent: one is
+impressed by its practical character and educational thoroughness. Latin
+and Greek are not attempted at all, the literary instruction being
+entirely based on English and the modern tongues. The science part of
+the curriculum is remarkably complete, and art is by no means neglected.
+
+Before a pupil has the good fortune to be admitted, the Principal visits
+the parents. It is almost incredible (so he told me) the squalor of some
+of the cots he had seen. Too often, in the Highlands, the one bedroom of
+the family (frequently identical with the kitchen) has free
+communication with a malodorous byre or stye. What a contrast with the
+dormitory of the Technical School, where there is no lullaby of lowing
+kine, but a tranquil, high-roofed hall that would do for the siesta of
+the Duke of Sutherland himself!
+
+
+ON THE SIDLAWS.
+
+High up on a spur of the Sidlaw Hills in the county of Forfar, there is
+a wee school that supplies education for a wide and sparsely-peopled
+countryside. The teacher is Mr. Brown, who was once a dominie in the
+island of Whalsay. He is a jovial and courteous man, and leads you on
+very astutely to ask him how long he taught there. Such a question gives
+him the opportunity of replying with a laugh: "_I was there exactly the
+length of time Napoleon was in St. Helena, five years and seven
+months_." When in Whalsay, Mr. Brown took the service on Sunday, if the
+minister happened to be ill. In this capacity he achieved great
+popularity by the meritorious device of shortening the sermon to fifteen
+minutes. He was so much in love with the first sermon he wrote, that he
+never wrote another, contenting himself with giving it again and again,
+and merely varying the text. If he could only hit upon a suitable title,
+and a suitable publisher for this sermon, Mr. Brown would get it
+printed, and scattered broadcast over the Shetland Islands. I believe it
+would furnish unique food for thought even to sinners on the mainland.
+
+Mr. Brown received me with extreme kindness, and invited me inside to
+see his school. I heard his senior class read, and thought the
+pronunciation extremely good. About 12.55 the attention of the pupils
+became visibly impaired; glances were furtively cast towards the door;
+there was a feeling of expectancy all along the benches. Suddenly the
+door sprang open, as if by some violent external impact, and a
+middle-aged dame entered, carrying in each hand a large pail of steaming
+potato-soup. Accompanying her was a young woman with dozens of small
+pewter basins, and large spoons. I never saw such expeditious ladling,
+such quick distribution, such speed of consumption, and such manifest
+enjoyment all round. The steam of the soup obscured the wall-maps, and
+the parsing exercise on the blackboard. The children could get as many
+helpings as nature would permit, _for one farthing_. When the mist
+cleared away, teacher and taught once more proceeded to tackle simple
+proportion and analysis of sentences. I personally examined the soup,
+and found it to be "nae skinking ware that jaups in luggies."
+
+
+SOME SURPRISES.
+
+Some surprises are in store for one who calls in casually at some of the
+remoter schools. I have more than once found the teacher _giving
+instruction in his shirt sleeves_. In one school, I saw the master with
+_a large melodeon_ (the Board being too stingy to supply a piano),
+giving an inharmonious accompaniment to the musical drill. I got a
+dreadful surprise on meeting the schoolmaster of a district in Jura: the
+unfortunate gentleman was _stone-deaf_, his auditory nerves being
+completely destroyed. Yet he managed, unaided, a school of forty-seven
+pupils, and got excellent reports. The case is unparalleled in my
+experience, and I should not have believed it possible had I not
+personally seen the man at his work. He heard with his eyes, and could
+most nimbly interpret what his pupils said by watching their lips. The
+scholars liked him, and did not attempt to take advantage of his defect.
+In another insular school, I was introduced to a lady-teacher who had
+_lost both her arms in youth_, and who, in consequence, has been forced
+to bring up her pupils entirely on the principles of moral suasion. By
+holding the pen with her teeth, she can write a fine running _hand_ (if
+I may say so without violence to language). She is an extremely clever
+lady: it was a treat to see how well she could control the children with
+a word or a glance.
+
+Some teachers in the Lowlands complain of children playing truant. That
+vice is not common in the Highlands, but it exists to a slight extent.
+
+In my presence the teacher of a school in Skye made the absentees of
+the previous day, write out their reasons for non-attendance. I give
+some of the typical answers:
+
+ (i.) Dear Sir,--I had to work all day at the peats.
+
+ (ii.) I was kept at home for harrowing with the horses.
+
+ (iii.) I was herding the lambs and keeping them from the sheep.
+
+ (iv.) _I was on the shore all day, but I will not do it again._
+
+
+ARRAN SCHOOLS.
+
+The Arran schools that I had the pleasure of visiting struck me as being
+very well managed. It is wonderful how much excellent work some of these
+country children get through. The schools are almost all supplied with
+Paisley libraries, and thus the pupils, under the guidance of their
+masters, can overtake an extensive course of reading in British authors.
+At Loch Ranza the higher pupils study Shakespeare, Shelley, and
+Wordsworth.[23]
+
+There is no desire whatever on the part of the young people to be taught
+the language of their forefathers. As a consequence, Gaelic is rapidly
+dying out in the island. Twenty years ago it was the language of the
+playground at Whiting Bay: now the pupils speak English only. At my
+request the teacher there addressed a few Gaelic phrases to the
+assembled children, but only two knew what he was saying. In the
+neighbourhood of Lagg, there is a more general knowledge of the
+venerable tongue.
+
+In spite of the decay of Gaelic, Arran has produced some Celtic scholars
+of great brilliancy, the most eminent being the late Dr. Cameron of
+Brodick. Mr. Kennedy of Caticol has made a great reputation for himself
+in philology: he is in touch with Celtic scholarship on the Continent
+and is also an adept in Irish Gaelic. In his manse, I saw a famous
+Celtic manuscript, the _Fernaig MS._, a brown-leaved passbook, full of
+old poems written carefully in a very small neat hand. It is said to be
+worth £2,000, but not having that amount of loose cash about me, I could
+not gratify myself by offering to purchase it.
+
+ [23] A striking object-lesson on the instability of mortal life
+ is permanently given to the Loch Ranza pupils by the proximity of
+ the churchyard, which is just over the wall from the school. The
+ thoughtful visitor should not fail to read the tombstones. If a
+ lover of books, he will be interested in learning that the
+ founder of the famous publishing firm of Messrs. Macmillan
+ belonged to the North Cock farm near Loch Ranza. The pensive
+ moralist will perhaps be most affected by an old stone, A.D.
+ 1813, declaring that Elspa Macmillan left this _inhospitable
+ world_, aged 86. _That_ was no rash inference.
+
+
+SCIENCE AND LITERATURE.
+
+Those rural teachers cannot be too strongly commended who combine
+literary studies with work in the open air. I know some masters who
+encourage their pupils to collect, say, all the flowers mentioned in
+Wordsworth and Burns. That is idealising the study of botany in a most
+delicious way. Wordsworth's descriptions of flowers are nothing less
+than divine: to take a single example out of hundreds, his lines on the
+daffodils beginning--
+
+ "I wandered lonely as a cloud."
+
+Even the gayest of our lyrists, Herrick, has something to say about that
+flower that is as powerful as a sermon. Birds, trees, and flowers
+should, as far as possible, be known by all the young people, and some
+poetic word associated with each. It is astonishing how accurately our
+best poets describe the objects of nature, and how their imaginative
+touches show insight and give a pleasure above mere science. Spenser's
+catalogue of the trees is worth knowing by heart. All the vicissitudes
+of the changing months have their apt poetical descriptions if we only
+look for them. Cowper, Thomson, and Wordsworth might be especially
+recommended to pupils for their brilliant word-painting of landscape. I
+cannot think of a finer adjunct to the teaching of open-air science than
+the auxiliary descriptions of such great masters of verse.
+
+As Mendelssohn composed _songs_ without words, so may the schoolmaster
+give _lessons_ of the most powerful import without a word being spoken.
+A beautiful interior in a schoolroom is a silent lesson in order and
+good taste. Beauty and order have a most valuable influence on the
+emotions and the character. It is a pleasure to see the attention that
+is now given to the cultivation of taste. Clean, bright class-rooms;
+pictures of artistic merit on the walls; busts; collections of fossils,
+sea-shells, and the like--these are to be found even in remote country
+schools. Such spontaneous education of the eye is something that cannot
+be overestimated for importance and fruitfulness.
+
+Lord Avebury puts the case for artistic environment very well indeed.
+"Our great danger in education," he says, "is the worship of
+book-learning--the confusion of instruction and education. We strain the
+memory instead of cultivating the mind. The children are wearied by the
+mechanical act of writing and the interminable intricacies of spelling;
+they are oppressed by columns of dates, by lists of kings and places,
+which convey no definite idea to their minds, and have no near relation
+to their daily wants and occupations. We ought to follow exactly the
+opposite course, and endeavour to cultivate their taste rather than fill
+their minds with dry facts."
+
+There is one precious faculty that runs the risk of being stifled by too
+much memory work. I mean the faculty of imagination. Youth is the time
+when fancy is busy; it is the period when the brain can furnish
+unlimited scaffolding for castles in the air. Wordsworth was so
+impressed, indeed, by the opulence of the youthful fancy, that he could
+only account for it by supposing recent contact with heaven.
+
+
+STUDY OF SCOTT.
+
+I sometimes think that in the training of the youthful intellect and
+imagination we have not made sufficient use of the novels and romances
+of Scott. Of late years a great improvement is noticeable in this
+respect, and Scott is coming to be regarded as (for school purposes) our
+greatest historian. In some schools, as Lord Avebury has hinted, it was
+formerly thought that pupils knew history adequately when they could
+rattle off a list of dates and tell something of the deeds and misdeeds
+of a set of unhappy persons who masqueraded as statesmen and courtiers.
+Such unedifying farce has nothing to do with history, which is a
+serious, instructive, and all-embracing study. The social life of the
+great mass of a nation is far more important and interesting than the
+eccentric deeds of a few high-placed rogues or saints. The old
+school-history was, unfortunately, too often a glum compendium of
+insignificant detail, told without breadth of view or fire of
+restorative imagination.
+
+In the history of Scotland, most of what is worth knowing may be most
+enjoyably learned from the pages of Sir Walter. Hardly any epoch of
+Caledonian annals, hardly any county in the land has escaped the
+treatment of his masterly hand. From the Borders to the rain-lashed
+Shetlands (the _Pirate_ deals with gusty Thule), from Perth to Morven,
+the great wizard has made his country known to all lands. In his stories
+the past faithfully reproduces itself, and we are impressed, instructed,
+and amused.
+
+
+THE OLD CLASSICAL DOMINIE.
+
+It is a pleasure to think that a few of the old school of Scotch
+dominies, who date from before the 1872 Act, are still to the fore, and
+still engaged in teaching. They have all fixity of tenure, and so enjoy
+the privilege of criticising, as adversely as they like, the degeneracy
+of modern educational developments. These "_old parochials_," as they
+are called, are men of good scholarship, well versed in Horace and
+Virgil, and generally fond of snuff and Latin quotations.
+
+The Act of 1872 did a great deal for elementary education, but very
+little indeed to encourage that type of higher instruction, which was
+the glory of the old parish school. Ian Maclaren and other writers have
+given pleasant sketches of country schoolmasters who were strong in the
+ancient tongues, and who sent their pupils straight to the benches of
+the University. I believe such men as "Domsey" were quite common in this
+country. Porteous, whom I knew, was one of these. Porteous was a
+philologist second to none in these realms, and was on intimate terms of
+acquaintanceship with the famous Veitch, who gave such a _redding up_ to
+the Greek verbs. It was very amusing to hear the complete way in which
+Porteous could silence some imperial young examining professor on the
+weighty subject of classical derivation. The latter would appeal to some
+such authority as Curtius, whereupon Porteous would unlock the desk in
+which lay the tawse, and taking therefrom a copy of the invoked Curtius,
+open it at the root in question, and display the page all marked with
+pencil corrections and emendations. In support of his views, would come
+such a torrent of erudition from half a score of Classical, Sanscrit,
+Gothic, and Anglo-Saxon rills, that the young professor would feel "like
+one of sense forlorn," and be fain to put palm to forehead in dazed
+amazement. A pupil learning the rudiments under such a teacher, was
+dazzled rather than instructed by the ruthless surgery of words that
+constantly went on. No word was too small for Porteous to operate upon:
+he settled _hoti's_ business, and could so inflate Greek vocables by
+supplying digammas and dropped consonants, that Plato would have
+disowned them. Give him chalk, a blackboard, and a class of six, and he
+would in ten minutes fill the board with hieroglyphics, curves,
+arrow-headed diagonals, etc., all meant to illustrate the relationships,
+divergencies, and contrarieties of the Aryan roots. His life was spent
+in the company of these radicals, and he could call them forth out of
+their trickiest hiding-places. In the midst of his chalky toil, he would
+turn round with radiant glee as if to say, "This is a merry and exciting
+trade: it is my fun and is as good as poaching or golf." But woe betide
+the youth who showed levity. Soon would there be weeping and wailing and
+tingling of palms. His reputation for strap-wielding made roots
+respected.
+
+Another teacher of the school of Porteous was Thomas Taylor, whose death
+I saw announced a few weeks ago. Where has all _his_ Greek lore gone to,
+so assiduously cultivated, so continuously added to? If Taylor's soul is
+ever re-incarnated in a mortal body, it is absurd to suppose that he
+must begin to learn the Greek alphabet just like a novice. His clay is
+indeed mixed with the clay of common men, but I love to think of him
+dwelling on the other side of the River in the meads of asphodel,
+discussing with kindred shades, the topics he delighted to handle when
+he was here. With tearful eye I pen these doleful decasyllabics to his
+memory:--
+
+ What chums Tom Taylor and Charles Lamb had been
+ O'er bottled porter and the _Fairy Queen_!
+ In youth, one day, seeking forbidden fruit
+ Tom tumbled from the branches with his loot,
+ And broken bones compelled the lad to go
+ On straddling crutches, warily and slow,
+ Counting the pebbles on his path below.
+ The noisy pleasures of the open air,
+ The football kicked exuberant here and there.
+ Cricket, beloved of sinewy juvenals,
+ And golf with all its hazards, clubs and balls,
+ Were not in Taylor's province: so he turned
+ To calmer pastimes where the ingle burned,
+ And when the whole world turned to _goals_ and _tees_
+ He took to _Iliads_ and to _Odysseys_.
+ He'd croon like one possessed the magic strain
+ Of heroes tossed along the unvintaged main,
+ And, crutch aloft in air, would fondly beat
+ Time to the rushing of the poet's feet.
+ Poetry was all his solace: those bright dames
+ That old Dan Chaucer in his rapture names,
+ And those in Villon's pages that appear
+ As dazzling-white as snows of yester-year,
+ Trooped past his eye in long procession fair.
+ O, Sovereign Virgin, what a crowd was there!
+ Helen, alas! with Paris by her side,
+ On the high deck crossing the sunny tide,
+ Circé, bright-moving in her godlike bloom
+ Before the throbbing music of the loom.
+ The love-lorn heroines of Shakespeare's plays,
+ The red-cheeked country girls of Burns's lays,
+ Would to his raptured eye the tear-drop bring,
+ And set his crazy quill a-sonnetting.
+
+
+VOGUE OF LATIN IN FORMER TIMES.
+
+The old-world schoolmaster believed Latin was a universal specific. He
+loved the language and knew all the flock of frisky little exceptions of
+gender and conjugation, even as a shepherd knows his sheep. He gave his
+pupils gentle doses of the _Delectus_, and watched with eager, almost
+menacing, eye, for the working of the charm. It is quite possible that
+no pupil ever went over that _Delectus_, with its world-weary fragments
+of trite morality, without a feeling of pleasure at the _Decline and
+Fall of the Roman Empire_. Yet it was educative, and moreover a boy was
+equipped for life with quotations suiting every juncture. Fate was
+powerless against one who had mastered the _Delectus_. The faculty of
+Latin quotation was to some extent also a badge of respectability.
+Fancy, too, the glory of being the exclusive possessor in a mixed
+company of the knowledge that Castor and Pollux came out of the one egg!
+It was a sore drawback to a boy once upon a time if he were shaky on the
+compounds of _fero_.
+
+"_The pest of the present day is the prevalence of examinations_:"
+these, it is alleged, have destroyed the grand old freedom of learning
+which gave full scope for the individuality alike of teacher and pupil.
+Oh! those were days of the gods, when five hours were spent daily
+burrowing in Virgil and Horace! Arcadia was realised--a sunny clime of
+Nymphs, Fauns, and Graces. The supreme luxury of abundant time--the
+leisurely chewing of sweet-phrased morsels--is gone: it is gone, that
+chastity of phrase and perfection of idiom, which felt a bad quantity
+like a wound. The examination craze has destroyed the classical dominie,
+and the intrusion of science, falsely so-called, has well-nigh
+asphyxiated the Napææ of the dells. It was formerly possible for the
+teacher to develop to the full his literary taste and declaim the
+sonorous tit-bits of Virgil till the tears started from his eyes. Now
+the instructors of youth seem to regard the works of the tuneful Mantuan
+as composed for the purpose of illustrating the use of the Latin
+subjunctive. Youths cannot get at the Aeneid, the spirit and majesty of
+it, I mean, owing to the pestilential numbers of grammatical
+reminiscences recalled by almost every line. When once you begin to set
+examination papers on a subject, the romance seems to evaporate. There
+is something withering about test-questions. This modern disease of
+grammatical annotation, engendered largely by prosaic examiners, who
+have published grammars, is spreading to the English Classics, and we
+may soon expect Burns to furnish a text for exceptional scansion,
+bob-wheel metrics and general philological catechising. Items which
+glide effortless into the brain in desultory reading are not so easily
+remembered if the examination is in store. Certain gentlemen have
+recently been reading Milton with a pair of compasses in order to
+discover the exact point of the cæsural pause in every line: they give
+figures, strike percentages, and set questions which even the leading
+character in "Paradise Lost" couldn't answer. Literary microscopy is
+likely to ruin Shakespeare's reputation in school and would have done so
+long ago but for Lamb's _Tales_--a darling compilation and by far the
+best introduction to the poet. "_Shakespeare is a horrid man_" is the
+deliberate verdict of the schoolgirl who has been teased to death by the
+notes within the tawny covers of the Clarendon Press Edition. And fancy
+what Chaucer's Prologue must seem like, taught by a man bent only on
+philological hunts, variant readings, and a complete explanation of all
+the final e's.
+
+
+TEACHERS AND EXAMINATIONS.
+
+It has always seemed to me a matter for surprise that those who had for
+years studied the elements of Latin and Greek at school (and that with
+no small difficulty), should entirely neglect these tongues afterwards
+and read nothing composed in them. Most elaborate preparations are made
+to reach the Promised Land, but the weary passenger never gets there.
+Can it be that the preparations are too elaborate?[24] They are
+certainly not very interesting, and are, indeed, well fitted to disgust
+pupils with the classical tongues. Sir William Ramsay of Aberdeen, in a
+letter to the _Herald_ some time ago, spoke strongly on this subject.
+
+Sir William says, with justice, that a teacher should teach his subject
+without any thought of examination. Every teacher would like to do that
+if he could. As a matter of fact, the secondary schoolmaster is forced
+to become a crammer. He codifies the catch questions of previous
+university preliminaries, excogitates similar weird lists of anomalies
+and exceptions, and doses the pupils on such stuff instead of really
+teaching the important parts of his subject. Experience seems to prove
+that the most effective way of rendering a subject dry, uneducational,
+and generally useless is to set examination papers on it. What can be
+more outrageous and grotesque than the practice of setting
+out-of-the-way questions because of the ease thus afforded to the
+examiners in correcting the answers of the helpless and puzzled
+candidates! Even though the questions set were plain and
+straightforward, it would be absurd to suppose that an hour or two in an
+examination hall could furnish sufficient data to pass or fail a
+candidate.
+
+It used to be the glory of our universities that an average college
+class contained representatives of every grade of society in the land.
+Professor Ramsay says it is not so now: the professors have become
+pedagogic coaches, and the students grind rather than study. Sir William
+assures us that many who would make good students are frightened away by
+the preliminary examination. It would be interesting to know where these
+latter go when they leave school. Do they rush off to business at once,
+or do they proceed with their education in some extra-mural way? If they
+can afford the time, the university is certainly the place for them. Let
+the university gates be opened as wide as possible to all serious-minded
+youths, and let it be remembered that it is not necessarily those who
+sweat most over their books or take the highest honours that get most
+good from attendance at the lectures.
+
+It does not appear that, at present, our universities are adequately in
+touch with the nation. The great commercial community of Glasgow does
+not benefit nearly enough from having a famous seat of learning in its
+midst. We might learn a lesson from the Sorbonne how best to nationalise
+our universities. In Paris, the lecture halls are open to all, and it is
+possible for either native or foreigner to listen for hours daily, if he
+be so minded, to some of the finest and most erudite orators and
+scholars of Europe. There are, it is true, special students' courses,
+from which the general public is excluded, but the most important
+lectures are open to all. Hence the Sorbonne is a national institution
+in every sense of the word. I do not say that Glasgow does not benefit a
+little from the corps of professors at Gilmorehill. But the benefit is
+spasmodic, discontinuous, and extremely limited. Some of the professors
+do at times come down into the open and speak words of wisdom. But more
+is wanted than that if the universities are to be saved from
+denationalisation. We hear of Dugald Stewart's class-room being, in the
+old days, crowded with the keenest intellects of the Capital. But a
+university was not then a kind of higher-grade secondary school.
+
+ [24] It is a notorious fact that very few graduates, when they
+ leave college, are able to read Latin from an author they have
+ not specially studied, with ease or pleasure. For this melancholy
+ fact there are several reasons. The range of reading is miserably
+ meagre. Only a few authors are read, and almost every sentence of
+ these is cumbered with such an amount of annotation as to render
+ progress and literary appreciation alike painful. Composition in
+ Latin absorbs far too much time: the first duty of the teacher
+ ought to be to turn out pupils who can read Latin with fluency.
+ No amount of grammatical detail or laborious composition, as at
+ present practised, will ever make up for the lack of wide
+ reading. Professor Phillimore's recent suggestion that the
+ less-known authors should be read more than they are, is wise and
+ opportune. The authors he mentions would furnish a welcome relief
+ from the unspeakable dreariness of over-annotated texts.
+
+
+HOWLERS.
+
+Almost every schoolmaster I have met, either in the Highlands or
+Lowlands, has his budget of anecdotes, usually dealing with children's
+answers or the droll eccentricities of the local School Board. The
+answers of children are invariably entertaining; and I wish the
+Educational Institute of Scotland would appoint a committee to codify
+the howlers that come under the notice of its members. A collection of
+genuine howlers would be no unimportant service to the science of
+juvenile psychology. Let it be remembered that the eminent Professor
+Sully considered it in no way derogatory to his philosophical status to
+write on the subject of _dolls_. In bi-lingual districts children's
+answers would have a special value. Children are everywhere, of course,
+more or less bird-witted and inattentive. Here is a story which
+illustrates what Latin scholars call _contaminatio_. A teacher had given
+a lesson on the geography of Kent, laying special stress on Canterbury,
+as giving a title to the Anglican primate, and on Greenwich as the place
+through which, on the map, the first meridian is made to pass. At the
+close of the lesson, he wished to test the scholars, and asked one of
+them what Canterbury was famous for. At once came the glib reply:
+"Canterbury is the seat of an _archbishop through whom the first
+meridian passes_." The difficulty young pupils have in concentrating
+their ideas, is largely accountable for many of the diverting essays we
+have all heard and seen. On a recent visit to the romantic shores of
+Skye, I was shown the following essay on Water: "Water is a liquid, but
+in winter you can slide on it. In all kinds of water, little beasts
+occur to a greater or to a less extent. Even a great amount of heat
+cannot kill these curious little animals. _Hence some people prefer
+spirits._" From the same quarter I procured this nugget on patriotism.
+"Patriotism is love of country such as we see in Burns or Sir Walter
+Scott. Burns and Sir Walter wrote beautiful lines about their native
+land, and thousands of tourists came and circulated their money there.
+_It would be telling us_ if writers would imitate these great patriots
+in our day." Many of the young scribes on the mainland can also indulge
+in a deal of brilliant irrelevancy. One of them being asked to write an
+essay on "Rivers," began thus: "_In ancient times, the chief use of
+rivers was for the baptizing of converts_." Another, in the course of a
+short life of King Alfred, made a strong point of that monarch's
+humility, adding, "In order to discover the plans of the Danes, he
+demeaned himself so far as to go to their camp _disguised as a poet_."
+The annual blue book of the Scotch Education Department used to include
+a recreative series of howlers that had been sent up in the various
+reports of the Government Inspectors. These tit-bits were well
+calculated to keep up the gaiety of nations. Of late years these howlers
+have been excised, but if Scotland had Home Rule they might re-appear.
+
+The finer attenuations of speech are unknown to the soaring human boy.
+I was shown an essay on Ireland the other day in which the young writer
+compendiously remarked, "_The Irish are a bloodthirsty, lazy, and
+resentful race_." On Wordsworth, another juvenile critic thus expressed
+himself: "_Wordsworth's compositions are utter bosh_." The following
+extract is from an "Essay on the '15": "_The Rising of '15 was a failure
+because the Old Pretender was an unmitigated ass. Fancy an ass trying to
+take charge of a Rebellion!_"
+
+A genial gentleman, Mr. Sneyd-Kynnersley, who retired from the
+Inspectorate some years ago, published in 1908 a book of choice
+reminiscences, containing some good specimens of schoolboy answers. Some
+of his howlers have long been known in the North: but a howler (like
+history) is wont to repeat itself. I saw in a Paisley boy's essay on
+Lambert Simnel the following sentence: "Lambert Simnel was a claimant
+for the English crown, and went about the country boasting that he was
+one of the princes who had been murdered in the Tower." Mr. Kynnersley's
+examinee wrote thus: "Prince Charles Edward claimed to be one of the
+little princes murdered in the Tower. He was found to be a deceiver, and
+was put into the king's kitchen to work."
+
+A boy once told Mr. Kynnersley that _a quorum is a question asked at a
+meeting which the chairman is unable to answer_. I saw a definition of
+paradox, equally absurd: "_A paradox is something which is apparently
+not what it seems to be_."
+
+It is a favourite geographical test to require a pupil to describe a
+coast journey between two seaports, and mention capes, rivers, and towns
+seen on the way. "Describe a trip from Greenock to the Isle of Man,"
+said a teacher to his class; "I give you an hour to write it out." Very
+few were past Lochryan at the hour's end. One daring youth took his
+boat, which he christened "_The Comet_," right round the Mull of
+Kintyre, with intent to reach Douglas by way of Cape Wrath, the North
+Sea, Dover, Land's End, and St. George's Channel. When time was up, the
+_Comet_, all torn and tattered by the strumpet wind, was beating round
+the north end of Skye. That boy will, in all probability, turn out a
+deep-sea captain.
+
+"How many days are there in a year?" asked an inspector of a class of
+Highland youngsters. No answer was given. "Tut, tut," said the inspector
+testily, "this is ridiculous. Is there _no one_ who knows how many days
+there are in the year?" "Oh, yes, sir," said a boy reproachfully, "_God
+knows_."
+
+"What kind of king was William III.?" inquired another examiner. "He had
+an aquiline nose, sir," said a boy. "What does that mean?" said the
+examiner. "_It means_," answered the boy, "_that William III.'s nose was
+turned up at the point like the beak of an eagle!_" "What right had
+William to the English throne?" continued the examiner, changing his
+ground. "_No right under heaven_," was the forceful Jacobite rejoinder.
+
+Here is a tale, from the eastern seaboard of Scotland.
+
+_Inspector_, M.A., Ph.D., LL.D., etc. (examining a class of ten-year
+olds): "Now, boys, what is the shape of the earth?"
+
+_Boy:_ "Roon, like an orange."
+
+_Inspector:_ "But how do I _know_, how can I be _sure_ that the earth is
+round like an orange?"
+
+_Boy:_ "_Because I tell't ye._"
+
+Pupils show great affection for the phrases of their text-books. Not
+long ago, at a written examination, a lad wrote in reply to a historical
+question which was puzzling him: "_The answer to this question is known
+only to the Great Searcher of Hearts_." What could the boy mean? Was it
+"cheek," ignorance, or piety? It was none of these. _It was Collier!_
+About thirty years ago, Dr. Collier, a modern Euphuist, composed a
+_History of England_, which deserves to be reckoned among the glories of
+the reign. Carlyle may be great, but Collier is greater: Collier is a
+theologian, philosopher, and _a' that_. The style of his history is a
+wondrous blend of _Ossian_ and Hervey's _Meditations among the Tombs_;
+and its special peculiarity is that the words, owing to some feature,
+never really analysed, linger in the mind long after the sentences of
+the Shorter Catechism have become blurred. Collier is strong in
+tropes--a highly-dangerous feature. It is no doubt true, as he says,
+that William the Conqueror ruled with a rod of iron, but when a boy,
+after reading this metaphor, asserts that that sovereign ruled his
+subjects _with a long iron pole_, you begin to question the utility of
+historical study. "Joy-bells pealed and bonfires blazed," is a phrase of
+the Doctor's which sets all the caverns of the mind ringing, even though
+its historical setting is long forgotten. But unction is the chief
+feature of the history: there is a rotund finality about the author's
+spacious utterances, and a dodging of investigation by means of pious
+generalisations. The book has all the effect of a benediction. When it
+is really too tiresome to inquire into all the authorities on some
+affair of magnitude, it is so respectable to sum up in the phrase
+imitated by the youth alluded to above.
+
+It is in the Secondary Schools of the country that the confusion of
+thought is apt to be most painfully seen. Far too much is attempted, and
+the pupils are overworked. A teacher in the neighbourhood of Glasgow, a
+_laudator temporis acti_, has a manuscript collection of howlers, drawn
+from elementary, secondary, and university sources, with the following
+fearful lines as a preface:--
+
+ "Ye statesmen all, of high or humble station,
+ Collective conscience of the British nation,
+ Whether the frothing vat has made your name
+ Or tropes in carpet-bags begot your fame,
+ Behold the _product_ of the education
+ Wherewith is dosed the rising generation.
+ And see the modern devotee of cram
+ At midnight hour hard-grinding for the exam.,
+ A moistened towel garlanding his brow,
+ And coffee simmering on the hob below.
+ High on a three-legged stool uncushioned, he
+ Sits glowering through his goggles painfully,
+ Nagging his brain with all a grinder's might
+ Till _one_ sounds on the drowsy ear of night.
+ Like Sibyl's leaves the papers strew his floor
+ Wrought-out examples, 'wrinkles' by the score,
+ Conundrums algebraic, 'tips' on Conics
+ And thorny 'props' remembered by mnemonics.
+ Betweenwhiles as the slow time lagging goes,
+ He takes the spectacles from off his nose,
+ Removes the damper from his aching head,
+ Pours out the coffee, cuts a slice of bread,
+ Sips wistfully the liquid from his cup:
+ The zeal to pass the exam. has eaten _him_ up.
+ Thrice happy ye! born 'neath the ancient reign
+ When _Tityre tu_ alone possessed the brain
+ (Ere Tyndall's tubes made sweating students numb)
+ And the whole aim of life was _di, do, dum_."
+
+
+COMPETING SUBJECTS.
+
+So numerous indeed are the subjects of the school curriculum in our day
+that howlers and confusion are bound to result. Formerly there was but
+one scheme (containing classics, mathematics, and a little English), and
+everybody took it. Now there is a kind of competition among the
+departments of a school as to which is the most culturing. When a fond
+mother asks the opinion of the masters as to what course of study her
+boy (whom she is entitled to think a genius of the first order) ought to
+pursue, she is often puzzled by the variety of answers. Mr. Test-tube,
+the Science Master, invariably prescribes an extensive course of
+chemistry. If a boy is to be a lawyer, he ought to know the principles
+of atomic combination and the doctrine of gases; if he thinks of the
+ministry, why then, having a thorough acquaintance with science, he will
+be competent to close the mouths of heretics, infidels, and such vermin.
+Dr. Aorist, on the other hand, believes that a sound knowledge of "_qui_
+with the subjunctive" is a splendid sheet-anchor for every squall in
+life's rude sea. "I wish my boy to be a civil engineer; what advice
+would you give me as to his studies?" "I have no hesitation in
+affirming," the Doctor replies, "that the boy will build bridges all
+the better if he has his mind expanded and (so to speak) broadened by
+the study of subjects outside his special trade, such, _e.g._, as the
+interesting fact that in ancient times 'All Gaul was divided into three
+parts.'"
+
+The average boy has an impartial mind. As a rule, he has no prejudice in
+favour of either science or letters, his maxim being never to do to-day
+what he can put off till to-morrow.
+
+ His favourite books for home
+ Are buccaneering combats on the foam,
+ Or grim detective tales of Scotland Yard,
+ Where gleams the bull's-eye lamp and drips the poniard.
+
+Parents may be reminded that the wide spaces of the colonies remain to
+be peopled and that many a _stickit minister_ might have made a
+first-class empire-builder.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+A TRIP TO SHETLAND.
+
+ Aberdeen--En route--Lerwick--Past and present saints--Some notes
+ on the islands--A Shetland poet--A visit to Bressay--From
+ Lerwick to Sandwick--Quarff--"That holy man,
+ Noah"--Fladibister--Cunningsburgh--"Keeping off"--The indignant
+ elder--Torquil Halcrow--Philology--A Sandwick gentleman--Local
+ tales--Foulah and Fair Isle--The fishing season.
+
+
+ABERDEEN.
+
+The most expeditious and comfortable way of getting to Shetland is by
+way of Aberdeen.
+
+I have passed through the city of _Bon Accord_ about six times during
+the last twelvemonth, and like it better the more I see of it. It is one
+of the stateliest towns in Britain, and its main street, spacious, airy,
+and symmetrical, is hard to match. The architectural taste of the new
+University Buildings is perfect, and will be more striking still to the
+casual visitor, when the unsightly buildings all round have been torn
+down. It would be worth while going to Aberdeen if for nothing but to
+see the superb stretch of sandy beach between the mouths of the Don and
+the Dee: one could sit and dream away a whole forenoon there and be
+entirely oblivious to the proximity of a large town.
+
+The finest tribute paid to Aberdeen was written nearly four hundred
+years ago by the great Scotch poet, William Dunbar. Three years before
+Flodden, Queen Margaret passed through the town, and Dunbar, who
+accompanied her, was so delighted with the hospitality, loyalty, and
+lavish expenditure of the magistrates, that he wrote a eulogistic poem
+to commemorate the occasion. Dunbar carried away the impression that
+Aberdeen was a _blythe_ place:
+
+ "_Blythe_ Aberdeen thou beryl of all tounis,
+ Thou lamp of beauty, bounty and _blitheness_."
+
+I do not find that the town has produced many poets, but it has been the
+cause of poetry in others.[25] A few years ago Mr. William Watson, out
+of gratitude for the LL.D. bestowed on him by the University, wrote a
+pleasant sonnet in which Aberdeen is represented as
+
+ "Beaming benignant o'er the northern main."
+
+As I sat on the seashore, repeating to myself the lines of Mr. Watson's
+poem, and breathing the fresh air, which an official of the bath-house
+told me was _made in Germany_ (meaning thereby that the wind was blowing
+from the east), the thought struck me that it would be a pardonable
+pastime to employ the spare time I had before the boat started for
+Lerwick, in writing a _Sonnet to Mr. William Watson_. In such
+exercitations it is necessary to employ the second person singular:
+
+ Watson! I would thy pen were fluenter,
+ And yet, perchance, thou usest stores of ink,
+ Ampler than any of thy readers think,
+ In blotting that wherein the first quick stir
+ Of thought and genius made the language err.
+ If Heaven had lent thy polished Muse a blink
+ Of saving humour for her crambo-clink,
+ Then never-dying fame had fallen to her.
+ Yet Heaven be thanked for what it has bestowed
+ On thee of what is tunefullest and best:
+ The trim epistle, the heart-stirring ode,
+ The witching freshness of a _Prince's Quest_,
+ The soft romance that dreams of years gone by,
+ Bright noons and dewy glades of Arcady.
+
+ [25] A recent publication shows that Greek verse is well written
+ at the University. Paisley folk should know that an Aberdonian
+ Hellenist has put some of Tannahill's verses into Greek.
+
+
+EN ROUTE.
+
+The little steamer that plies between Aberdeen and Lerwick is timed to
+leave the former port at 11.30 a.m., _or as soon afterwards as the tide
+will permit_. Often the boat does not leave for some hours after 11.30
+a.m., the tide not being always to blame. What a capacity the boat has
+for empty barrels! I counted six heaped lorry-loads of them that were
+rolled on board, destined, later on, to be filled with herring up north
+among the islands.
+
+It is extremely interesting (see Virgil III., 690) to stand in calm
+weather on the deck of a moving vessel and talk about the notable places
+on the coast with one who knows them well. Much information of a varied
+and piquant kind may thus be acquired. The Aberdeenshire coast is rather
+unpicturesque, but many historical legends linger airily on the stern
+old ruins that are passed from time to time. I omit mention of these,
+preferring to tell an anecdote of recent years that is associated with
+the immense rocky sea-caverns, of world-wide fame, not far from Cruden
+Bay. During the Boer War, some Scotch journalists, strong in the science
+of genealogy, undertook to prove that all the generals at the front had
+Scotch blood in their veins. It seems that these patriotic penmen
+succeeded quite easily in making their contention good with respect to
+all the generals _save one_. No Scotch lineage could be found for
+General Buller. The difficulty was at last surmounted by the felicitous
+conjecture that he was one of the famous _Bullers of Buchan_!
+
+About eight miles past Cruden Bay is Peterhead, the most easterly town
+in Britain. Great efforts are being made at present to boom this place
+as a health resort. I have heard it said that "printers who die at 30 of
+consumption elsewhere, weigh 21 stone at over threescore in Peterhead,"
+also that "centenarians there have been known to get up at 5.30 a.m., to
+chop wood, no chill or bacillus daring to make them afraid." The Home
+Office has long thought highly of Peterhead as a place of permanent
+retreat for those afflicted with ethical infirmities.
+
+After Peterhead is left behind, the steamer soon gets entirely away from
+land. All night long she battles through the surges, passes about 2 a.m.
+the lonely Fair Isle, encompassed by the rushing roost, and two hours
+later Sumburgh Head is visible. The approach to Bressay, especially if
+the rocks and precipices are half seen through driving haze, is
+suggestive, to a student, of the landscape of "Beowulf," with its _windy
+walls_, _shadow-helms_, _broad nesses_, and _glimmering sea-cliffs_.
+
+As seen from the sea, Lerwick looks trim and picturesque, but when the
+visitor lands, he is apt to lose his bearings among its tortuous lanes.
+I followed a porter who was tottering under the weight of trunks, and
+asked him, as we treaded a flag-paved vennel: "Is it far to the main
+street?" He grimly replied: "This _is_ the main street, sir." The
+response unnerved me, shaky as I was with seventeen hours' tossing on
+the North Sea. Once in the hotel, my spirits rose. A most welcome and
+savoury breakfast--consumed near an open window commanding a view over a
+sun-lit sound--is well able to hearten the most downcast.
+
+
+LERWICK.
+
+The town of Lerwick is indeed one of the finest of our island capitals,
+and is constantly becoming finer. No visitor can fail to be impressed by
+its unique natural harbour, gloriously screened by the God-given shelter
+of the island of Bressay. Commercial Street, which runs along the
+water's edge, is at the foot of a hill, and is so narrow in parts that
+two vehicles can hardly get past each other. If I stayed in Lerwick, I
+should not like to have any resident enemies, for it would be difficult
+to keep from brushing clothes with them in the main street. Up from this
+main street to the newer town, on a plateau at the top, run numerous
+quaint wynds, sinuous, and not always well-scavenged. This new and
+well-built part contains the far-seen and notable Town Hall, the
+architecture of which would have pleased Ruskin, especially as its fine
+windows are all appositely illustrative of Shetlandic annals. By
+climbing the dusty clock-tower, one has a splendid view of all
+surrounding slopes and seas.
+
+Here is a hint to prospective tourists. Take to the left when you quit
+the hall, get down the lane leading to the sea-crags, and walk for two
+miles in the direction of the rifle-range. It is a glorious and solitary
+walk--not altogether solitary, for the sea is invariably good company.
+Don't be so foolish as to keep on your hat: off with it, and let the
+air-borne sea-spume wet your brow. It is also a good thing to recite
+Byron's vigorous "Address to the Ocean,"--the odd cows you may pass will
+not stop their grazing for that. There is no finer air in King Edward's
+dominions than that which blows in this region, for the hill air meets
+the sea air that has come all the way from Norway, and the two coalesce
+to give the rapt pedestrian a mouthful of exhilarating ether. One who is
+really a poet and not merely a casual sonneteer, should try to get a
+site for his tent on this particular shore, and retire to compose an
+epoch-making epic. The mediæval saints knew what they were doing when
+they retired to little nooks and isles along this coast to pray and
+meditate undisturbed: it is much easier to feel devout in a fresh
+atmosphere, than in the squalor of a town.
+
+
+PAST AND PRESENT SAINTS.
+
+What indeed astonishes the visitor to these northern isles is the
+immense number of ecclesiastical ruins. The Christian missionaries seem
+speedily to have translated their enthusiasm into stone and lime. What
+hymns were chanted and what sermons preached up there in bygone times,
+passes the wit of man to reckon! It is a far cry from Palestine to the
+Shetland creeks and voes, but the voice of the lowly Nazarene
+effectually reached the Celts and Norsemen of these treeless
+storm-lashed isles.
+
+Many of the smaller islands have the appellation _papa_, which
+indicates, as I hinted above, that some monk or hermit, withdrawing from
+the world to pray and meditate, has bequeathed a whiff of sanctity to
+headland and skerry.
+
+"The hermit good lives in the wood," says Coleridge, but for the
+Shetland _papa_ there was no _nemorum murmur_:--
+
+ No sun-illumined leafage met his eye
+ Raised from perusal of the Holy Word,
+ No murmur of the woodland zephyr-stirred
+ Blended with his devotions sped on high,
+ Only the chiding of the billows nigh.
+ The clangour of the wheeling ocean-bird,
+ Or soul-astounding shriek of storm-fiend heard
+ From the dun cloud-battalions hurrying by,
+ Greeted his ear: yet piously through all
+ His life the austere anchorite remained,
+ On his lone island, buffeted by squall
+ And sea, and faithful unto death obtained
+ The promised guerdon that the Lord bestows
+ Upon the pure in heart, and only those.
+
+It has been asserted by those who have means of knowing, that the days
+of theological rigidity are past and gone in the Shetlands. Thing
+unheard of in the Hebrides--the shops are open on Sunday mornings for
+the sale of Saturday's _Scotsman_ and _Herald_. In some parts of
+Scotland you could not hire a trap for a Sunday drive; in others, you
+_might_ manage, by salving the driver's conscience with a double fare.
+In Shetland the tariff is the same for the first and the last days of
+the week. To explain the ecclesiastical differences between the islands
+of the North and the West would require a philosopher with all Buckle's
+shrewdness and ingenuity. Buckle accounted for the sombre nature of
+Scotch theology by dwelling on the awe-inspiring reverberations of
+thunder among the Highland peaks. The easy-going creed of the Shetlands
+might perhaps be accounted for by a reference to the happy-go-lucky way
+in which the sea wanders at will among the confusion of peninsulas,
+islets, and skerries. Any theory is better than none at all, and
+geopsychical explanations are fashionable at present.
+
+The pulpit stars twinkle with great lustre in these boreal regions. A
+country minister, with no preparatory groans, but sharp and trippingly
+thus began his homily some Sundays ago: "It is now thirty-five years
+since the Lord sent me to labour in this part of his vineyard, if
+vineyard I may call it, where no grape was ever seen. On a bright summer
+morning thirty-five years ago, I turned the corner of the road and came
+among you. Young women, your mothers were in the fields, busy with the
+work of the crofts. Your mothers were exceedingly fair to look upon, and
+I am happy to say, my dear young sisters, that, by the providence of
+God, the beauty of your mothers has lost nothing by being transmitted to
+your comely selves. And now for my text, which you will find in Ezekiel,
+chapter _x_ and verse _y_."
+
+
+SOME NOTES ON THE ISLANDS.
+
+A century ago Shetland was almost an unknown land to the Lowlanders of
+Scotland. When a Shetland minister was deputed to attend the General
+Assembly, it might take him a year to get there and back. His journey
+was a very circuitous one: he had to go in a trading vessel to Hamburg,
+take boat from Hamburg to London, and from London proceed to Leith. To
+return from Edinburgh, the journey was performed the reverse way. Now
+that there is a regular service between Aberdeen and Lerwick, and
+between Leith and several of the Shetland ports, the journey can be
+performed with comfort and expedition. Tourists flock North in the
+summer season to admire the scenery, catch the trout, and inhale the
+health-giving breezes.
+
+The natives, being mainly of Norse descent, look with a kindly eye over
+the water in the direction of Bergen. They do not love Scotland, and
+they have their reasons. When the Shetlands were handed over to the
+Scotch kings, numbers of needy adventurers, armed with cheaply-got
+charters, swooped down on the islands and dispossessed the native
+proprietors. This has neither been forgotten nor forgiven. Mr. Russell,
+who lived for three years among them, says:--"They believe that the
+present lairds are interlopers, and that they themselves have been
+defrauded and despoiled. They speak of these things only among
+themselves, and not openly; but those who have been in the country, and
+have gained their confidence, know that there is a strong undercurrent
+of feeling against Scotland and Scotsmen.... They conceive that they
+have a claim even as things are, to dwell on the land, and that a
+proprietor has no right to remove them from his estate." I was
+dreadfully shocked to notice that in a volume of tales published by a
+Lerwick author only four years ago, the leading villain was from the
+mainland. "Scotland is nothing to us," said a Shetlander to an inspector
+of schools. "What has Scotland ever done for us except send us _greedy
+ministers and dear meal_?"
+
+In the old days, when communication with the mainland was uncertain and
+fitful, the luxuries of civilised life were quite unknown. In one
+outlying district a box of oranges was washed ashore from a wreck: these
+the natives boiled, under the impression that the orange was a novel
+kind of potato. A cask of treacle, come by in a similar way, was used
+like tar to daub the bottom of a smack. By and by a cow was seen to lick
+the boat with evident relish, and this opened the eyes of the natives to
+the real nature of the substance. Nowadays the natives are well in line
+with modern civilisation, one of the most convincing proofs being that
+they buy drugs and patent medicines of every kind. One has only to scan
+the advertisement pages of the Shetland newspapers to note the
+persistent way in which quacks of all shades bring their nostrums before
+the notice of the islanders. Dyspepsia and rheumatism are the commonest
+ailments; and to combat these, myriads of pills and numberless elixirs
+are annually swallowed. Faith does a lot even when the drugs of a
+legitimate practitioner are concerned: the fact that you have swallowed
+something with a bitter taste is often a distinct aid to recovery. Mr.
+Russell, whom I referred to above, says: "To my surprise, I learned that
+some who were in extreme poverty, and had hardly enough food to eat,
+were in the habit of sending South for pills and patent medicines."
+
+
+A SHETLAND POET.
+
+Long before I ever thought of visiting Shetland, I was acquainted with
+the dialect spoken there, through having studied a most interesting
+little book of poems called _Rasmie's Büdie_, published in Paisley. The
+author of this book is Mr. Haldane Burgess, a very prolific and able
+writer, but unfortunately afflicted with blindness. During my short stay
+in Lerwick, I gave myself the pleasure of calling upon him, and I was
+intensely delighted with my reception. When the sense of sight is lost,
+that of touch becomes inordinately keen: Mr. Burgess has accordingly
+excellent control over his type-writer, and can compose as nimbly as in
+the days when his eyesight was unimpaired. He spoke of his most recent
+novel, _The Treasure of Don Andreas_, and expressed himself as highly
+pleased at the criticism passed upon it by a reviewer in the _Athenæum_.
+Mr. Burgess begins composition every morning at seven, and regulates his
+life with military precision. On all departments of Shetlandic history,
+folk-lore, and dialect, he discourses with great knowledge, fluency, and
+animation. But his interests in the general field of modern literature
+are extremely wide. He speaks the Norse language almost as easily as
+English, has studied Icelandic, and knows a good deal about the writers
+of modern France. Some friend had been reading Arnold's _Literature and
+Dogma_ to him shortly before my visit. He was loud in praise of that
+book, the ironical insolence and pawky humour of which he had greatly
+enjoyed.
+
+On parting from Mr. Burgess, I received from him a copy of his pleasant
+Shetlandic story _Tang_, a careful and illuminating study of island life
+and manners. The English style struck me as full, robust, and strongly
+tinged with poetical figures, and the character sketches drawn with the
+precision of intimate knowledge. All his prose works display great
+wealth of material, and much psychological insight. His most
+characteristic production, however, is his little book of poems
+mentioned above, _Rasmie's Büdie_. Rasmie is a Shetland crofter who is
+typical of the race: shrewd, kindly, thoughtful, and gifted with a touch
+of quaint sarcasm. He has perfectly clear views of life, this old
+peasant, and is quite free from cant, or superstition, or mystery. Some
+of his metaphors are droll: after long pondering on the scheme of
+creation, he comes to the conclusion that earth is the field, heaven the
+house, and hell the "midden." Pope, speaking of _Paradise Lost_,
+complains that--
+
+ "In quibbles angels and archangels join,
+ And God the Father turns a school-divine."
+
+What would the great Augustan have thought of verse in which God the
+Father is likened to a cosmic Crofter?
+
+ "Dis Universe is Güd's grit croft,
+ It's His by richt, wis never koft
+ Frae gritter laird
+ And ne'er sall be, laek laand o Toft
+ Wi' idder shared."
+
+For those who have the patience to pierce through the husk of Rasmie's
+dialect, much amusement and delight is in store.
+
+
+A VISIT TO BRESSAY.
+
+If Charles Lamb and Herbert Spencer had been sent to Lerwick and Bressay
+to write a report on what they saw, I daresay the difference of their
+accounts would have astonished every reader. Lamb would probably have
+swilled porter in the _Ultima Thule_ Refreshment Bar and written a most
+interesting account of Bressay without ever crossing the Sound. The ribs
+of a big uncouth Dutch boat, square, cumbrous, shell-fretted, and tilted
+up on the beach, would probably have bulked more in Lamb's narrative
+than the modern steam-trawlers that abound in these waters. His
+politico-economical reflections on the rise in price of peppermint
+lozenges, consequent on the annual arrival of the Dutch fishing crews
+would, I am sure, have furnished excellent reading. Spencer's report
+would have dealt, I fancy, with the rotation of crops, the cause of the
+different currents, the varieties of pigmentation (with percentages)
+among the islanders, and the evolution of fishing gear from its
+rudimentary forms--in sum with the definite combination of heterogeneous
+changes both simultaneous and successive, in correspondence with
+external coexistences and sequences. No two out of a hundred visitors
+see the same things, a fact which may help to prove Bishop Berkeley's
+theory that the universe is subjective entirely.
+
+I went over to Bressay with a genial and erudite clergyman to visit the
+schoolhouse and inspect the ruins of an eighth century church. Three
+Shetland women rowed us over the Sound and handled the oars splendidly.
+The minister, a plump, jolly be-spectacled gentleman, who has not
+"perpetrated matrimony," declared with a sigh that he was an unprotected
+male, and on our arrival at the Bressay beach, he called aloud to the
+oarswomen to lift him out of the boat. These muscular dames shrieked
+with laughter and proceeded to unship their oars as if to buffet him:
+he, thereupon, leaped lightly enough on the strand and, turning round,
+would have improved the occasion by a word in season had not the
+tittering Nereids begun to splash him as he stood on the shingle.
+
+Innumerable sheep pasture on the Bressay slopes, and on the sky-line of
+some of the hills one can discern companies of rollicking Shetland
+ponies. My friend, the minister, who is writing a book on Darwin, got
+into conversation with Mr. Manson, the Bressay pony-breeder. The latter
+spoke thus about his tiny steeds: "Pony-breeding is a more puzzling
+business than anything else in God's universe. The parents,
+grandparents, and great grandparents of a given pony have all been
+perfect in every point. Good! You naturally expect that a pony with such
+exceptionable ancestry will itself be without a flaw. But is it? No,
+often it is not. Too frequently you get bitter water from sweet, and
+thistles instead of grapes. Just look at that tricky, mischievous,
+ill-tempered, wall-eyed little rascal. Where did he get his evil
+cantrips and his wall-eye? I have known his ancestors for four
+generations back and they were all without a blemish." The minister made
+a note of this fact within the book and volume of his brain: it may be
+useful in the pulpit, and I expect to see it in print when he publishes
+his book on Darwin.
+
+The eighth century church was at last reached. It is about three miles
+from the landing-place and quite near the water. Every point was most
+lucidly explained by my ecclesiastical guide. To the outer eye the place
+consisted of some low, ruined walls enclosing various species of rank,
+wet grass. Such remains of olden piety are provocative of gloomy
+reverie, which the rushing of the inconstant tide close by only serves
+to deepen. Immediately after the Crucifixion and long before this church
+was reared by saintly hands, the little Christian communities thought
+the kingdom of God would shortly be established and all sin and
+suffering be banished from the world. But the apostles died, and so
+successively have
+
+ "Priest, doctor, hermit, monk grown white
+ With prayer, the broken-hearted nun,
+ The martyr, the wan acolyte,
+ The incense-swinging child"--
+
+the bishop, the church-builder, and the patriot in all those
+generations, and the kingdom of God is not with us yet, seems, indeed,
+to be as far off as ever. When the world has been at peace for a while
+and the millennium seems imminent, all of a sudden a perverse,
+stiff-necked, _wall-eyed_ generation supervenes, and evolution gives way
+to deterioration!
+
+Lightly bounding down the ages, my companion turned my thoughts from
+unrealised dreams of religion to those of politics. Along these waters
+that cast their spray on the ancient ruin, James Hepburn, Earl of
+Bothwell, third husband of Queen Mary, fled in hot haste, with a
+pursuing squadron at his heels, in the year 1567. Kirkaldy of Grange
+entered the Sound of Bressay as Bothwell was leaving by the northern
+exit.
+
+Our walk lasted about four hours, and ended up in the school-house,
+where the teacher's hospitable dame regaled us to a welcome and
+excellent cup of tea. It did us good after the strain of so many
+reminiscences. The teacher is a hearty and sociable gentleman, who loves
+his books and his fireside. On the fine Saturdays, friends ferry across
+from Lerwick for a round of golf with him over the Bressay links. The
+fine library, recently sent from Paisley, furnishes a pleasant variety
+of reading both for himself and his pupils. On my remarking that, as
+chairman at the lecture next evening, he need not speak more than thirty
+minutes, he replied, with visible emotion, that he would concentrate his
+remarks into a space of thirty seconds.
+
+We got back to Lerwick in a lugsail that was full of passengers,
+potatoes, and milk-cans. There was a good deal of loud, elementary chaff
+during the twenty minutes' crossing. An old, wrinked, peat-smoked dame
+gave us much good advice and (better still) a sprig of white heather
+apiece. I found by subsequent experience that the trip is not always so
+amusing. Next evening a boatman pulled us over, and it was stiff work
+for him, as the Sound was lumpy and the wind contrary. Coming back, he
+hoisted his sail, and we careered over in rollicking style. I was a
+little scared at the swift-rushing currents and the switchback motion of
+the boat. Overhead were moon, stars, and flying clouds; the hulls of big
+steamers loomed like phantoms on the surface of the Sound; on the hill
+opposite twinkled the ever-nearing light of Lerwick.
+
+Bressay, I may add, has a nice little hall, with all items of modern
+convenience, including ventilation. The building is used for every
+legitimate purpose, from worship to _weel-timed daffin'_.
+
+
+FROM LERWICK TO SANDWICK.
+
+I have a vivid recollection of a day's drive from Lerwick to Sandwick,
+down the long, narrow peninsula that terminates in Sumburgh head. I was
+accompanied by the reverend gentleman already alluded to in connection
+with Bressay.
+
+It is a common saying in the isles that Shakespeare had his eye on the
+soil of Shetland when he pronounced the famous line:
+
+ "'Tis true, 'tis _peaty_, 'tis _peaty_ 'tis, 'tis true."
+
+On all sides in the country you see acre after acre of bog, dripping
+with moisture and exuding black runnels whenever the spade of the
+peat-cutter begins to slice its fibrous bulk. Should a wayfarer leave
+the road by mishap after nightfall, he would soon be plunging in the
+treacherous morasses. It is well for him to have a lantern swinging at
+his girdle when the sun has gone down.
+
+Such are the reflections suggested by a view of the country between
+Lerwick and the little clachan of Quarff.
+
+
+QUARFF.
+
+Quarff is the headquarters of a minister who is said to be the only
+extempore preacher in Shetland, if the word can be appropriately applied
+to one who, being blind, has to prepare his sermons in "the quick forge
+and working-house of thought" without the succour of books. This
+gentleman spent long years in the little islets called _Skerries_, and,
+like a miniature Augustine or Columba, claims to have been the first to
+preach the sublime truths of Christianity on these limestone formations.
+
+Though blind, he enjoys his pipe, and I had a smoke with him at the
+fireside. Between the puffs, he indulged in a furious onslaught on the
+Lord Chancellor and the Wee Frees. Lord Halsbury he considered a poor,
+benighted creature, who didn't know the difference between a Trades
+Union and a body of Christians. "_If he ever comes to Shetland_," said
+the minister, "_he had better bring his woolsack with him, for I won't
+let him down soft!_" After Lord Halsbury had been adequately trounced,
+the talk turned on notable things that had happened in the district
+within the last decade or two. One of the tales (which was very
+divertingly told) had to do with the trite subject of intemperance, but
+as it contains one or two novel touches, I here briefly rehearse it.
+
+An elder of the place, who, with his trap, had come to grief one market
+night on the way back from Lerwick, told his session a strange tale to
+account for the catastrophe. "When I got to Lerwick in the forenoon, I
+said to the driver: 'Young man, if I mistake not, you have had no tip
+from me for a long time.' 'That's very true, sir,' said he. 'Well,' said
+I, 'there's half-a-crown; go and spend it judiciously.' During the day I
+transacted business with various friends, omitting none of the usual
+rites. About five o'clock my driver returned, and harnessed the horse
+for the return journey. At first I thought he had brought his brother
+with him, but, on rubbing my eyes, I found it was an optical delusion.
+As I watched him narrowly, I saw the outlines of a bottle bulging out
+from his buttoned coat, and distinctly heard, as he moved to and fro,
+the gurgling sound of liquid in agitation. He was smiling in
+self-approval, and when I reproved him for his slowness, he quoted
+Habakkuk v. 5, 'Hurry no man's cattle,' adding that his authority was
+the Revised Version. As we went rattling along the road, his tricks
+were fantastic in the extreme. At a point about two miles from Lerwick,
+I saw, a little in front of us, a tall individual enveloped in a long
+waterproof, of which the collar was turned up to cover his ears. The
+eyes of this person glowed like live coal as he peremptorily demanded a
+lift. Not waiting for permission, he, with a sudden spring, vaulted on
+the trap and squeezed himself between the driver and myself. The air
+grew hot and close. The driver became ten times friskier than before. I
+determined to unmask the unceremonious stranger, and, putting down my
+hand, grasped him by the foot. He had no boots on, and what I seized was
+a cloven hoof. I asked him there and then if he was Beelzebub. 'I am,'
+said he, 'and clever and all as you are, it will take all your talents
+to slip out of my clutches this night.' At this point there is a blank
+in my souvenirs. I only remember sparks flying and the sensation of
+falling down from my seat on to a steep embankment. On recovering
+consciousness, I found myself lying on a crofter's bed, with aching
+limbs. I told him the story of my escape, and he said, after hearing it:
+'We live in troublous times, John, and the Arch-deceiver seems to be off
+the chain. Watch and pray, or you may fall further next time.'"
+
+
+"THAT HOLY MAN, NOAH."
+
+Particular stories are suggested by the place where one first heard
+them. This profound remark is worked out in detail by Sir William
+Hamilton and Professor Sully. As I look at the map of the road I
+traversed that day, I am reminded of certain anecdotes retailed by my
+genial and reverend guide.
+
+"After leaving college," said he, "I was appointed assistant to a worthy
+D.D. who regarded the higher critics as a species of vermin. Hell with
+him was not a mere unpleasant state passed in _this_ world, but an
+actual raging bonfire specially prepared for everyone who could not
+repeat the Shorter Catechism. The parishioners of this worthy man were,
+in consequence, devoutly orthodox, and had, one and all, a keen nose for
+bad doctrine. They did not like to be fobbed off with a sermon of the
+spineless order; they liked bones, blood, and fire--not a mosaic of
+cheery quotations from Tennyson about the larger hope and about worms
+not being cloven in vain. They had also a great liking for the
+patriarchs, especially Noah. By ill luck, I spoke one Sunday on the
+patriarchs, and handled them pretty roughly. I felt that sacred
+enthusiasm which every man feels in denouncing the sins of others. I
+gave the Captain of the Ark a special lick of tar. This sermon caused a
+mighty commotion in the district. I might as well have asserted that the
+paraphrases were inspired, or that Sankey's hymns were canonical. I
+could see that the elders began to look coldly upon me. In barn and byre
+little groups discussed my preaching, and there was much wagging of the
+head and shooting out of the lip. A deputation came out of a
+potato-field to me one day as I was walking along the road, and the
+leader, an old theological crofter, said bluntly: 'Your sermons are not
+pleasing us, if you please, sir.' 'Is the doctrine bad?' I asked. 'Not
+exactly that, but the folk say it's very unseemly.' 'What special sermon
+do they object to?' 'They think you're not sound on that holy man,
+Noah.' 'Do they go the length of saying Noah was perfect?' 'They don't
+just go that length; but, while admitting Noah was human, they desire'
+(here the old man raised his head, shut his eyes, and shouted) 'to hear
+no more from a young inexperienced lad like you, a single word about the
+patriarch's shortcomings. The man was a patriarch, and therefore a
+saint. Talk about his virtues as much as you like, but don't fash about
+his trespasses, there's a good boy, I speak as your friend.'"
+
+
+FLADIBISTER.
+
+When my friend had delivered himself of this story, he pointed with his
+pipe to a little confused collection of low, thatched cottages which we
+were rapidly approaching on the left, and, oblivious of Noah, went thus
+musing on: "You are now in the charmed domain of Fladibisteria, of which
+the core or citadel, as it were, is this village of Fladibister. This is
+no settlement of Norsemen: no, this is a Celtic nook where second sight
+and such witchcraft flourished not so many years ago. Did not the
+minister once rebuke them for their spells and mystic whims by aptly
+applying to them the words of St. Paul to the Galatians: '_Oh, foolish
+Fladibisterians, who hath bewitched you?_' There is an atmosphere of
+tranquillity and Arcadian peace swimming over Fladibister such as is
+nowhere else to be found in Shetland. The young men of the place roam
+far over the sea, as mariners and fishers; but like the exiled
+Jacobite--
+
+ 'Who sighed at Arno for his lovelier Tees,'
+
+they never feel happy till they are back home here under the roofs of
+thatch. And what a work their women folks make with them when they
+return! What feasting and merrymaking! What screwing of fiddle-pegs,
+nimble motion of elbows and long-sustained dancing and skipping. I don't
+deny that there is clink of glasses, too, at times, to aid the passage
+of the hours far past the noon of night."
+
+
+CUNNINGSBURGH.
+
+Cunningsburgh, the journey to which was shortened by these tales, is one
+of those places you might pass through without being aware of it; that
+is to say, there is no feature about it so startling or abrupt as to
+impress itself at once on the attention. The district all round is well
+tilled, and the houses bien and comfortable.
+
+The minister of the place arrests the attention instantly. His genial
+face and hearty handshake have a more Christianising effect on the soul
+than a ton of sermons. I have never heard a more kindly voice or seen a
+face in which tenderness, merriment, and intellectual keenness, were all
+so harmoniously blended. He does not smoke himself, but has that wise
+and wide perception of things which leads him to press those who are
+anxious to smoke, but say they are not, to take out their pipes in his
+drawing-room. It was easy to see the man he was, by a hasty look at his
+book-shelves. All the philosophers were represented there, from Plato
+to the present-day mystical Germans. Lang's _Odyssey_ was side by side
+with the Icelandic sagas and the Song of the Niebelungs. I did not see
+many books of Systematic Theology; but the Greek tragedians, the Sacred
+Books of the East, German and French novels, had all a place in the
+bookcase of this cosmopolitan clergyman of a remote Shetlandic parish.
+
+
+"KEEPING OFF."
+
+In secluded townships like Cunningsburgh where life's round has much of
+the monotony of fashionable society, and involves a still recurring
+succession of similar duties, the minister is indeed a power. If he is a
+man of broad and enlightened mind, his influence for good is
+incalculable. The Kirk-Session is a permanent Court of Justice, taking
+cognisance of minor matters of morality, and enforcing its decisions by
+religious sanctions. To be barred from participating in the communion
+rites might not seem a very alarming punishment to the easy-going
+Lowlander; but to a Shetland peasant, being _keepit off_, as it is
+technically called, is a terrible and humiliating penalty. A crofter
+came to the manse to complain about his wife's unruly and satirical
+tongue. "But what can I do to her?" said the minister, "she's your wife,
+and you must assert your authority." "I've tried everything," said the
+man, "but she still continues to be a troubler in Israel." The minister
+professed his inability to interfere. "I can do nothing at all," he
+said. "Yes you can," said the crofter, with a wink and a fearful
+whisper, "_You can keep her off!_"
+
+
+THE INDIGNANT ELDER.
+
+Since the Reformation the people have lived and thriven under the
+jurisdiction of the Session. In the records of the Session one finds a
+chronicle of the sins, eccentricities, and merriments of the people for
+the last two or three centuries. Several incidents based on these
+minutes will make what I say abundantly clear. The Quarrel of the Elder
+and the Minister's Housekeeper, for example, convulsed a still remoter
+parish in much the same overmastering way as the Dreyfus Trial agitated
+Paris. Herodotus is the only author I can think of who could have done
+justice to this northern _affaire_. Let me briefly summarise it. Between
+the minister's garden and that of one of his elders ran what was termed
+a hedge. The shrubs which formed the base of this hedge were so
+ill-grown that the minister's fowls could easily go, clucking and
+scraping, from one garden into the other. Evidence was given to prove
+that the cabbages and pot-herbs in the elder's plot were torn and
+spoiled in parts. Every morning he stood at a gap in the hedge and sang
+aloud like a skipper in a storm or Achilles at the trench of the Greeks:
+"I am being ruined and brought to poverty by the minister's hens." This
+cry grated upon the ears of the manse housekeeper, who by and by thought
+it her duty to go out and reason with the elder. "It's no' the
+minister's hens ava that's to blame, it's the craws o' the firmament."
+"It's the hens." "No, the craws." "Hens I declare!" "You're a _deceitful
+impostor_!" said the housekeeper. Now, no self-respecting elder could
+stand that. Boiling with wrath as he was, he remembered his
+ecclesiastical status, merely remarking that there was work for the
+Session at last. By nightfall he had been in every croft within the
+Session's jurisdiction, laying off his tale in each, and as he got
+practice and more vehemence with constant repetition, he attained
+extreme fluency and impressiveness before the day was done. An
+unspeakable joy came over the community at the prospect of a delicious
+scandal. To avoid the breach being healed by an apology, many of the
+crofters sought to envenom the quarrel by refusing to believe that the
+elder was altogether right. "Crows," they said, "had been known to play
+havoc with cabbage. Elders were but human, and so, hasty in laying
+charges on insufficient evidence. The case was certainly one for the
+Church courts. The housekeeper must have a good defence to make, and
+would no doubt make it at the proper time and in the proper place. We
+must hear both sides." One may see by this that the spirit which
+animates a great nation (the desire, namely, to divert itself with the
+contentions of those who come before the public eye), animates also the
+smallest communities in the realm. The great passion-stirring process,
+_Hens versus Crows_, lasted for some seven months. Over and over again
+the hedge was examined. Now the elder thought he had the best of it,
+only to be damped by a revulsion of feeling in favour of the
+housekeeper. The finding of the Session was adverse to the lady. The
+fact that she had practically called the elder a son of Belial could not
+be got over. The minister, holding the scales of justice, was forced, in
+spite of himself, to declare against her. Considering her position,
+some mildness was shown in pronouncing her condemnation and the penalty.
+Having regard to the dignity of the offended man, nothing less than the
+sentence of _keeping off_ could meet the ends of ecclesiastical law. But
+one "keeping off" was deemed adequate. The elder was avenged. At the
+ensuing communion, he was seen to smile and rub his hands diabolically,
+as he glanced towards the back of the church, where sat, outside the
+pale of the privileged elect, the unhappy and vanquished housekeeper,
+who had called him an impostor.
+
+
+TORQUIL HALCROW.
+
+Torquil Halcrow's case presents features of a different order. For some
+reason a _fama_ spread abroad respecting him to the effect that his
+language and demeanour left much to be desired, and that not even the
+presence, or at least proximity, of women operated to mellow the
+strength of his vocabulary. Nothing definite was openly formulated
+against him, but Torquil became aware that in certain quarters his
+reputation was being slowly undermined. It is precisely this vague kind
+of aggression on a man's character that is the most difficult to combat.
+He took the bull by the horns in a most heroic way. _He got up a public
+testimonial to himself, and went round canvassing for signatures._ The
+testimonial ran thus:--"We, the undersigned women of the parish, have
+pleasure in bearing witness that we have known Torquil Halcrow for
+twenty years, and never have we known him do an unseemly act or utter an
+unworthy expression." Thereafter followed a list of forty names.
+Furnished with this document, he strode up to the manse, fluttered it in
+the minister's face with a gesture of triumph, laid it down on the study
+table, then turned on his heel and walked away. The minister, when he
+examined the paper minutely, found that Torquil, in the belief that the
+heading of the testimonial was not sufficiently strong, had added this
+further clause in his own handwriting: "_but many a precious word of
+truth and gracious spiritual comfort have we heard proceeding from his
+lips_."
+
+I have already referred to the beautiful and pathetic saying of Mr.
+Barrie that every window-blind is the curtain of a tragedy. I thought of
+that dictum as the minister of Cunningsburgh pointed to one cot after
+another in the neighbourhood, and narrated the calamities that had
+fallen upon them within recent years. Here, an old widow was mourning
+the loss of a son who had gone to the deep-sea fishing and would never
+return: his bright young life had been swallowed up in the insatiable
+ocean, and she was left lamenting in her indigence. There, it was a
+father who had been engulfed in the roost; or again, the illness of a
+mother had cast a blight for years upon this other household. Sometimes
+I have seen two old people, all their sons dead, living a kind of
+stupefied half-life, automatically moving about, poor and wretchedly
+clad, unable to understand anything except the welcome heat of the sun
+and the animal comfort of a little food. There are many sad things in
+this world: none is more sad than the sight of two old people outliving
+their progeny and wandering about in decrepit second childhood with no
+more substance than a dream. The sea is mainly answerable for the great
+and deep tragedies of the Shetlands: it is like a pitiless monster,
+howling in anger at their doors and claiming its yearly prey. No native
+writer has as yet attempted to make vocal for us the immense dumb
+sorrows of these fisher folks in the way Loti has done for the seafarers
+of Brittany.
+
+
+PHILOLOGY.
+
+Jakobsen, the Danish philologist, spent some years recently in
+collecting the remains of the old Norwegian speech that still linger in
+the conversation and the place-names of the islanders. Perhaps the most
+interesting point brought out by Jakobsen is the prevalence in
+comparatively recent times of lucky words, which the fishermen used when
+at the deep-sea fishing, and only then. This practice is undoubtedly a
+relic of pagan ages when the sea-depths were regarded as the dominion of
+dread water spirits, who keenly watched those who intruded in their
+realms. The strange feature about this deep-sea speech is that its
+expressions were purely Norse, whereas the home idiom of the fishers was
+overwhelmingly English. The pagan beliefs respecting the hostile powers
+of the sea found expression in old words handed down from a
+pre-Christian epoch. These old words may have been originally liturgical
+or worship words, for the sea was an object of veneration and awe to the
+Norsemen who, in the conquering days, made their home on its angry
+waters. It was believed that the jealous powers of the ocean were
+vehemently hostile to Christianity, and hence the Shetland fishers, up
+till quite recently, carefully avoided any direct mention of _church_
+or _minister_ when on the water: the _haaf_ or lucky words being
+respectively _benihoose_ (prayer-house) and _upstander_. Even the
+domestic animals had special _haaf_ appellations. This conception of the
+sea as filled with weird mysterious beings of unspeakable malignity,
+ever ready to whelm the boat of an unwary intruder, carries the mind
+back to the old alliterative lay of _Beowulf_, the contest of that hero
+with the wallowing ocean-monsters, and the grim subterranean glow in the
+sea-home of Grendel's mother. The Shetlanders have only too much reason
+to brood over the cruelty of the sea. On July 20, 1881, during a
+terrific squall, sixty-three breadwinners were engulfed in the thwarting
+currents of the Sound of Yell.
+
+
+A SANDWICK GENTLEMAN.
+
+During all the foregoing discussion in the Cunningsburgh manse and
+garden, our driver had been wondering what subjects of talk could
+possibly be keeping us from continuing our journey to Sandwick. The two
+ministers--the original one and the Cunningsburgh man also--at length
+mounted the trap with me, and we all went joyfully on the final lap. The
+object of the journey was to visit Mr. Sinclair of Sandwick, a gentleman
+well worth going fifty miles to see. Mr. Sinclair has many qualities
+that make a man notorious. He went to Australia in an emigrant ship many
+years ago, and wrote a book upon it, in which he playfully remarks that
+he got the full value of his passage money, inasmuch as there was a
+birth, a death, and a suicide, between Plymouth and Melbourne. Another
+of his distinctions is great dexterity in playing the violin, his
+favourite pieces being "The Scalloway Lasses" and "The Auld Wife ayont
+the Fire." The title of the last-named piece rather staggered me, until
+I was informed by one of the ministers, who is a scholar and an
+antiquarian, that it relates to a time when the fire was in the middle
+of the room and when the smoke escaped by a hole in the roof, or in
+default of that, by the door. Mr. Sinclair rendered these pieces with
+infinite gusto, and, like all true artists, got as much pleasure as he
+gave. He had also the most diverting way of ejaculating the word _hooch_
+I have ever heard in my journey through life. It gives me pleasure to
+add that he wrote a poem on fifty whales that were driven from the sea
+by the local fishermen into Sandwick Bay. These whales were all
+beautifully cooped in the narrow inlet and stranded on the beach, when
+lo! the local landowners, citing some old statute, claimed from the
+fishermen a share of the spoil. Mr. Sinclair, indignant and astute at
+once, took upon himself the championship of the fishermen, and managed
+matters so admirably that the lords of the soil were completely worsted
+in the Edinburgh law-courts. Flushed with such signal success, he put
+the whole story into metre. A printed and framed copy of the poem hangs
+in a conspicuous place in his sitting-room. At our special request, he
+favoured us by singing the impassioned stanzas. It was a unique treat to
+hear him do so. There he was in the centre of the room holding the
+framed verses in his hand, gazing fondly thereat even as a mother
+regards her child. When the chorus came on, he laid down the poem, and
+lifted up his voice with glorious enthusiastic force. Inspiration was in
+his eye, his grey locks became dishevelled, his arms swung rhythmically
+to the beat of the melody. The entire interview was intense: it was one
+crowded hour, of which time is unable to cancel the memory.
+
+
+LOCAL TALES.
+
+The evening was a glorious one, and we _walked_ back some miles of the
+way. The Cunningsburgh minister was full of stories. He alluded
+laughingly to one of his flock who, when under the influence of drink,
+was powerful in prayer. "_When he gets a dram he goes to his knees at
+once._" The anecdote seemed to me to run counter to the views of the
+hymnologist who says "Satan trembles when he sees, the weakest saint
+upon his knees." Another of his stories had reference to two old
+crofters, both over eighty, who began one evening to talk of the follies
+of the young fisher-lads when they took to dram-drinking. One of the two
+remarked: "I wonder now what folly we two old men would commit if we
+chanced to get intoxicated, say at a funeral." "Well," said the other
+hoary-headed and infirm octogenarian, "I have no idea what you would do,
+but I am certain of this, that if I ever got the least bit touched, I
+would go and make love to the lasses at once." Thereupon the two feeble
+old fellows skirled a wicked laugh, and nearly gasped out their slim
+residue of life in unseemly merriment.
+
+Both ministers assured me that the belief in fairies still lingers on
+among the Shetland peasantry. Up on the hill-side the trow is supposed
+to wander about, and the little fellow can be seen skipping on the
+moon-light sward, by all who have eyes and the necessary faith. It is
+believed that he haunts the road-side even when the moon is not shining:
+consequently, when the crofters have to go out of doors at night, they
+protect themselves from his spells by carrying with them a blazing peat
+gripped with tongs. This smokes and sparkles in the darkness and the
+trow does not like it. It is easy for the electric-lighted citizens of
+Glasgow and Edinburgh to laugh at the simple folk-lore of fisher and
+crofter; but no one, however learned and sceptical, can quite escape
+from the mystic influence of fairy-lore if he lives through a winter
+among believing dalesmen. Let him look on the long silvery glimmer of a
+sea-voe, and hear the natives tell of trows chasing the ebbing Neptune
+down there on the dim sea-strand in a night of haze, before he says
+(with Theseus, in the _Midsummer Night's Dream_):
+
+ "I never may believe
+ These antick fables, nor those fairy toys."
+
+To the ear and eye of the philological Jakobsen, the Shetlanders both in
+speech and looks are remarkably like the Norwegians of the Saettersdal.
+In that part of Norway the trow is also a very popular terror. Children
+of a disobedient and obstreperous turn are afraid to venture near a wood
+at nightfall for fear of a little bogie with a red cap, who may suddenly
+slide down a pine-tree and snatch them off.
+
+
+FOULAH AND FAIR ISLE.
+
+I do not altogether envy the candidate for parliamentary honours who has
+to _nurse_ a remote insular constituency like Orkney and Shetland. I met
+Mr. Cathcart Wason in Lerwick, and learned that he had been going the
+round of the islands and had even paid a visit to the isolated and
+mountainous rock of Foulah. Now this was a very daring feat indeed, for
+I have heard of a young man who went once to visit his friends there and
+was kept a prisoner for five months owing to the squalls. The papers
+complimented Mr. Wason on his intrepidity: he went over from Walls in a
+smack, and did not make his address too lengthy, for fear the weather
+might change and Westminster be deprived of his eloquence for a space.
+Mr. Wason is a very tall gentleman, but in Foulah he met his peers in
+point of stature. The islanders are a fine set of men, hardy and godly.
+They are adroit fowlers and nimble cragsmen. It gives one a queer
+sensation to hear that the face of their sheer precipices used to be
+(like level land elsewhere) apportioned equitably among the various
+families. If A did not wish to catch birds on his aerial lot, he could
+let it to B and claim a certain percentage of the spoil. The population
+of the island is about 250: owing probably to intermarriage, there are
+many childless homes.
+
+I do not know if Mr. Wason has ever been to the Fair Isle, but I
+understand an Ex-Moderator of the Church of Scotland visited the little
+community there in 1903. There are two ways of getting to this islet:
+(1) by means of a sailing boat which leaves Grutness for Fair Isle once
+a fortnight with the mails; if the weather is bad, this mode of
+communication is suspended, as in winter no sane man would venture
+through the roost in such a boat; (2) by taking a passage on board the
+S.S. _Pole Star_, which calls on the first of every month with stores
+for the lighthouse. She is a strong, swift boat, and makes the journey
+from Stromness, seventy miles away. I may remark that a lecturer wishing
+to speak in the Fair Isle need not trouble himself about placards or
+handbills: the whole population will be on the shore to welcome him when
+he lands, and he could conveniently intimate his subject then, if he has
+any breath left in his body. The Fair Isle possesses a church organ and
+a non-surpliced choir. The islanders have a great appetite for sermons,
+as the following story, told by Mr. Russell, amply proves. "The minister
+of Dunrossness went one summer to dispense the communion in the Fair
+Isle, and a storm came on which detained him there for about eight days.
+The weather also prevented the boats from going to the fishing. As the
+people had no pressing work to do at the time, and as it was only on
+rare occasions that they enjoyed the presence of the parish minister,
+they were anxious to avail themselves of his services while he was among
+them. _Accordingly, at their desire, he preached every day during his
+stay. In all, he preached thirteen times._ He had taken the precaution
+of bringing a good stock of sermons with him. Before this was exhausted,
+the weather providentially improved, so that he was able to get
+home."[26]
+
+The cherished legends of one's youth get sorely demolished in the course
+of travel and investigation. The school-books used to say that the
+Shetlanders were taught to knit by Spanish women saved from the wreck of
+the Armada. The islanders stoutly deny any indebtedness, and declare
+that there never was the slightest friendship between their ancestors
+and the crews of King Philip's galleons.
+
+ [26] The prayers of as many righteous men as possible are
+ requested for the inspectors of schools who have to examine and
+ report on the state of education in the Orkneys and Shetlands. I
+ had the pleasure of conversing with one of these hard-worked
+ officials in November, 1906. He spoke very warmly of the improved
+ educational benefit of the libraries that have been sent from
+ Paisley to the isles and skerries. This gentleman inspects the
+ Fair Isle school once every two years. On the occasion of his
+ last visit, he was rowed from Lerwick in a "sixern," and had a
+ most tempestuous time going through the _roost_. Two of his
+ oarsmen sickened, and were helpless. On getting ashore at last,
+ he forgot all his sorrows and soaking, when he heard heartsome
+ strains of welcome being played on the _insular pianola_.
+
+
+THE FISHING SEASON.
+
+To Lerwick, during the fishing season, thousands of women come from the
+island of Lewis to gut the myriad herring that are daily brought into
+the bay. There is an extemporised town for the strangers on the
+outskirts, over which float many odours, weird, pungent, and unsavoury.
+All the processes of gutting, curing, and kippering go on in grand
+style. The women, clad in a kind of oilskin, handle their dangerous
+implements in most dexterous fashion. It is a horrid business, but well
+paid. Prolific Nature is never tired supplying these women with work,
+for as many as 68,000 eggs have been found in the roe of one female
+herring. My friend, Mr. M'Kenzie of Ullapool, who is in the service of
+the Fishery Board, took me to see the official examination of several
+hundred barrels of fish, preparatory to the branding thereon of the
+official stamp. The owners pay for this examination, but the additional
+value given to each barrel by the Government mark far surpasses the fee
+exacted by the Board. The branding-officer selects at random a barrel
+here and there, extracts some dozen fish from each, and satisfies
+himself as to the size and quality. If the herring are puny or of
+inferior sort, the officer refuses to brand, and the examination fee is
+refunded. Mr. M'Kenzie remarked that this was the only case in which he
+had ever seen men reluctant to receive money. I followed that gentleman
+as he walked over the long lines of slippery herring barrels, lying in
+horizontal juxtaposition, and I cannot recommend the exercise to those
+who have had no training in gymnastics.
+
+The great success of the Shetland fisheries during the last year or two
+has brought to Lerwick a palpable increase of business and droves of
+business men. In the Grand Hotel there were, in August last, thirty
+gentlemen resident who were in some way brought thither by the traffic
+in herring--among the number a young Russian, who, with his wife, sat at
+a little table apart, and kept jabbering their language with glib
+expressiveness. His name was Walk-off, and his object was the
+annexation of fish for Muscovite consumption. He had a flabby face and
+long, dark hair, which he publicly combed. _She_ was small and
+pretty--doll-like, indeed--with jewels in her ears, which glittered and
+flashed in the gas-light. She was a very loquacious wee creature, and
+her intonation reminded me of the caressing way the Swedes articulate
+English. I heard him read the Russian newspapers to her with evident
+emotion, but the only word I could make out was _Kouropatkin_. The
+herring-agents at the hotel table were full of drollery. One of them,
+hailing from Wick, addressed a neighbour abruptly to this effect: "I am
+a rather expensive man to sit beside, and to one like you especially so,
+for you seem to be a water-drinker. When I tell you who I am, however,
+you will insist on standing me a bottle of champagne." He was frigidly
+asked to state his grounds for such a preposterous expectation. "Prepare
+to gasp," he replied; "you see before you one who is a model and a
+beacon to all the men of Caithness. I am the sire of nine sturdy sons,
+and _they have only three birth-days among them_, seeing that they came
+into this vale of tears three at a time."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+COMMERCIAL TRAVELLERS AND THEIR ANECDOTES.
+
+ Trials of commercials--The two-est-faced knave--Mary, the maid
+ of the inn--Anecdotes of the smoking-room: Sonnet to
+ Raleigh--Peelin's below the tree--"She's away!"--A mean
+ house--One of the director's wives--Temperance hotels--A
+ memorial window--The blasted heath--The day for it--The
+ converted drummer--A circular ticket--A compound
+ possessive--Sixteen medals--"She's auld, and she's thin, and
+ she'll keep"--The will o' the dead--Sorry for London--"Raither
+ unceevil"--An unwelcome recitation--A word in season--A Nairn
+ critic--A grand day for it--A pro-Boer--"Falls of Bruar, only,
+ please!"--A bad case of nerves.
+
+
+TRIALS OF COMMERCIALS.
+
+The commercial traveller (that bustling and indispensable middleman)
+leads a life of mingled joy and pain. He is constantly on the move, and
+from meeting innumerable types of men, becomes very shrewd in judging
+character. Resource, readiness, abundance of glib phrases must in time
+become his. He must not, for fear of offence, show any marked bias in
+politics or religion. His temper must be well under control; he must
+have the patience of an angel; he must smile with those that are merry,
+be lugubrious with those that are in the dumps, and listen, with
+apparent interest, to the stock stories of hoary-headed prosers. It is
+not enough that he should book orders. Some shaky customers are only too
+ready to give these. It is his business to book orders only from those
+that are likely to pay. A big order delivered to a scoundrel who means
+to fail next week, is a horrible calamity, which, if it does not result
+in pains and penalties, means a sharp reprimand and a loss of prestige
+at headquarters, that may take years to redeem.
+
+He has to sleep in many a different bed. It is lucky for him if a damp
+couch has not rheumatised his limbs. No one knows better than he that
+what seems a bell-pull has often, owing to former violence and broken
+wires, no connection with the bell. Here a chimney smokes, there the
+flue is blocked with birds' nests. In certain country inns, the flimsy
+gossamer of spiders makes an undesirable fretwork over the greenish
+knobs of the ill-puttied panes. Mice, rats, and "such small deer"
+scamper uncannily the live-long night along the worn waxcloths and
+unspeakable carpets. As he undresses by the light of a three-inch
+candle, he has his soul horrified by early Victorian prints, of Paul
+tumbling from his horse on the way to Damascus, of the gory relief of
+Lucknow, or of some towsy-headed clansman smiling out of perspective. He
+is by no means a tourist on pleasure bent. He must face gust and surge,
+for he cannot choose his time and weather. His duty is to cover as much
+ground as he can in a given week, fill his order-book with
+irreproachable orders, and get home to report, preparatory to another
+sally in another direction. Competition stings him into feverish
+activity. If he sells tea, he well knows that an army of rivals is
+scouring the whole country with samples as good, or perhaps a great deal
+better, than his own.
+
+
+THE TWO-EST-FACED KNAVE.
+
+Nevertheless, the jovial facetiousness of these commercial gentlemen
+knows no limits, and hotel-waiters are, at all times, fair game for
+their stings and arrows. In one of the northern hotels, there used to be
+a portly and rubicund waiter who might have passed for the High Priest
+of the Goddess of Health. His face shone, if I may say so, with the
+radiance of perfect digestion. A pert commercial, one day, approached
+him with an affected look of deep concern and said, "_Well, I hope
+you're keeping better_," accompanying the remark with a dig in the
+waiter's stomach. The waiter, who had never known a minute's ill-health
+in his life, swore vividly for fifteen minutes without repeating
+himself, and among many references to the commercial's ancestry, called
+him the _two-est-faced_ knave that had ever set foot on the Shetland
+Islands. Such a superlative was felt by all to be a masterpiece of
+language, and turned the laugh against the bagman.[27]
+
+ [27] As to language, one hears, especially in the Hebrides,
+ phrases of amusing quaintness, due no doubt to the speaker
+ handling a foreign tongue. The school in one of the Mull villages
+ is very small, and I made a remark to that effect in the hearing
+ of the hotel-porter. "Oh, no," said he, "_it is a good deal
+ bigger than you would wonder_." The same waiter, who had a talent
+ for confusing his language, said in reply to an irate visitor who
+ had questioned his intelligence: "You need not talk like that; I
+ am as good as you; _I am as good as any other man put together_."
+
+
+MARY, THE MAID OF THE INN.
+
+I have a great deal of sympathy with hotel-porters and waiters, and
+think them unduly longsuffering at times. As to Mary, the exemplary maid
+of the hotel alluded to, she can hold her own in repartee with any of
+the visitors. She is a distinct character, and Molière could have made a
+"type" of her. She has no sinecure of a situation, and, after eleven at
+night, when the last supper is over, she has to polish the knives for
+the morrow's breakfast. She is young, slim, and active, and wears a
+string of red corals round her neck. The place is not frequented by
+plutocratic tourists, and so her tips are meagre. In spite of her long
+days and her slim perquisites, the girl is affable, smiling, and gay.
+She trips out and in, sylph-like, can carve fowls most dexterously by
+the light of nature, never spills the soup, and has a laughing and
+appropriate word for all. Mary, I hope, will get some decent fellow for
+husband, and be a stay and comfort to him all the days of his life.
+Meanwhile, however (to use the historic present), a nice old gentleman
+in the soft goods line, who hails from the flourishing village of
+Dundee, is paying her marked attentions. She will have none of him, for
+all his apostolic looks. He repeats to her, with a comically sentimental
+air, the lines of Omar:
+
+ "Here with a book of verse beneath the bough,
+ A loaf of bread, a cup of wine, and thou
+ Beside me singing in the wilderness,
+ The wilderness were Paradise enow."
+
+Mary looks in amazement at the old gentleman with the insinuating voice,
+anon bursts into a merry peal, and trips off with the remark, "_There's
+nae fules like auld anes_," which a listening Londoner takes to mean,
+"There's nothing fills like onions!"
+
+
+ANECDOTES OF THE SMOKING-ROOM.
+
+
+SONNET TO RALEIGH.
+
+The conversation of an intelligent commercial traveller is, as I said,
+of a facetious and entertaining turn. He speaks to so many people in the
+course of a day and hears so many anecdotes as he rushes about, that his
+sense of humour becomes very keen. Old Burton, author of the _Anatomy of
+Melancholy_, used to dissipate his sombre thoughts by listening to the
+coarse badinage of bargemen: a modern, afflicted with Burton's
+complaint, might well find a cure in the smoking-room of a hotel among a
+company of commercial travellers. One Saturday night, in a Shetland
+hotel, I listened to a crowd of these merry gentlemen communicating to
+each other their several collections of stories. Before doing so, they
+all sang with great fervour the well-known hymn _The Sands of Time are
+Sinking_, a whisky-traveller officiating at the harmonium. One of the
+number ostentatiously beat time with his pipe. It was a very affecting
+scene, and certain of the singers were moved to tears at their own
+melody.
+
+The company then settled down, in a pleased frame of mind, to tell
+stories. I noted some of these, and as they were new to me, I cherish
+the hope that they may not be stale to others. The following
+preliminary sonnet to Sir Walter Raleigh seems to be apposite and new;
+it is needed to give atmosphere to the tales:
+
+ Raleigh! the benefactor of thy kind,
+ May azure undulations ever roll
+ As incense to thee from the glowing bowl,
+ Thy rapt disciples fume with placid mind
+ In easy chair, by ingle-nook reclined!
+ Next to the mage, Prometheus, who stole
+ From Heaven's court with philanthropic soul,
+ The wonder-working fire, thou art enshrined
+ In mortal bosoms as a friend, for thou
+ Did'st bring from sunset isles the magic leaf
+ That weaves enchantment's halo round the brow,
+ Alleviates the pang of every grief
+ And stirs the bard, exempt from fretting cares,
+ To wail the weird of pipeless millionaires.
+
+And now for the stories.
+
+
+"PEELIN'S BELOW THE TREE."
+
+A Sunday School teacher in the island of Luing was giving a lesson on
+the disobedience of Adam and Eve, and the fruit of that forbidden tree
+whose mortal taste brought death into this world, and other ills. At the
+close of his harangue, which was rather above the heads of the children,
+he said, "Can any of you tell me _how the Creator knew_ that Adam had
+eaten the apple?" There was silence for a time. At last one boy, with a
+glimmer of light in his eyes, shouted: "Please, sir, because He _saw the
+peelin's below the tree_."
+
+
+"SHE'S AWAY."
+
+An Englishman staying in Oban, wished to visit the island of Coll, and
+discovered, on enquiry at Macbrayne's office, that the S.S. _Fingal_
+left for that outer isle at five in the morning. He accordingly gave
+serious instructions to the "boots" of his hotel to rap him up at 4.30
+A.M., and to show him no mercy. At _six_ o'clock, the tourist was
+awakened by a noise like that of a battering-ram at his door, and a
+stentorian voice sternly enquiring: "Are you the gentleman that's going
+with the early boat?" "Yes, yes, I am," said the tourist, leaping to his
+feet. "_Well, she's away_," said the boots. (This is a story that grows
+on one.)
+
+
+A MEAN HOUSE.
+
+Another hotel story: Feeling somewhat thirsty in the middle of his
+dinner and not judging that water was sufficiently slockening, a visitor
+rang the bell and asked the waiter to bring him a bottle of lager. This
+was done. "How much do you charge for this?" enquired the traveller.
+"Ninepence," replied the waiter. Anger, consternation, and incredulity
+were all depicted, by turns, on the visitor's cheek. "What!" he shouted,
+"_ninepence_. Why, I could buy a dozen bottles for half-a-crown. It's
+downright robbery to ask ninepence for one bottle. You've made a
+mistake." "I've made no mistake," said the waiter; "I was told to ask
+ninepence. _But_," (at this point he sidled up to the traveller and
+whispered, with terrible accents, in his ear) "_it's a damp mean house
+this you're in, and I'm leaving mysel' the morn!_"
+
+
+ONE OF THE DIRECTOR'S WIVES.
+
+A gentleman who loved tobacco exceedingly well, went into a first-class
+smoking compartment, filled his pipe, and settled down, with a newspaper
+in front of him, to enjoy the luxury of a long and undisturbed worship
+of the weed. He had a journey of fifty miles before him. Just as the
+train was moving off, a lady, who was panting and flustered, was pushed
+up into the compartment by a porter. It was soon evident that pipes and
+tobacco were not congenial to this dame. She began to sniff in a very
+haughty fashion, but the smoker, utterly indifferent to her presence,
+continued to roll out with deliberate relish his dense tobacco fumes.
+Soon she lost all patience, and said with extreme bitterness: "You
+there, behind that paper, you have no manners. You have no right to
+smoke before a lady. Do you know who I am? _I am one of the directors'
+wives, sir._" Down went the journal, and "Oh, indeed," said he, "you are
+one of the director's wives, are you? Well, let me tell you this, that
+even if you were the director's _only_ wife, I do not intend to
+encourage you, by any compliance of mine, in the bad habit of rushing
+for trains and getting into the wrong compartment!"
+
+
+TEMPERANCE HOTELS.
+
+An English clergyman--a pronounced teetotaler and temperance worker--was
+being driven through the streets of a Scotch town in an open machine.
+Looking round, with expansive benevolence, on the streets and people, he
+was overjoyed to see such a large number of temperance hotels. "Driver,"
+he exclaimed, "I am delighted to see, by the hotels, that total
+abstinence has got such a firm hold in this place." "Indeed, sir," said
+the driver, "don't be too sure of that. We have two kinds of temperance
+hotels here: the first kind would like the licence, but can't get it;
+the second kind have had the licence, and lost it through bad behaviour
+and disorderly conduct."
+
+
+A MEMORIAL WINDOW.
+
+An inn-keeper in Ross-shire, with great enthusiasm, said to a visitor:
+"There's nobody I work for with more satisfaction than an English
+gentleman. Now, there's Sir Samuel Oatts, the wealthy Liverpool merchant
+that has the shootings near here. He is a fine gentleman, and so
+considerate. He is not very good at shooting, I must admit: he often
+misses the birds, and he goes through a good number of dogs. One day he
+shot the keeper in the right eye, and blinded it. But he gave the keeper
+a handsome present and a fine new glass eye. We call that eye '_Oatts'
+Memorial Window_,' and the keeper can sleep during the sermon now
+without anybody knowing, provided he does not snore."
+
+
+THE BLASTED HEATH.
+
+Two English tourists--big, hearty fellows--were travelling in the same
+compartment with a communicative Scot, when the train stopped at Forres.
+"Gentlemen," said the Scot, "this is Forres, and I'm sure you've read
+about it; quite near Forres is the _blasted heath_ where Macbeth was
+accosted by the witches." "How shocking," said one of the Englishmen;
+"how really shocking! Well, you see, we haven't read about that yet:
+we've been up North for some time, and _we have'nt seen the pypers for
+ten dyes!_"
+
+
+THE DAY FOR IT.
+
+The driver of the bus which goes through the delightful part of
+Argyllshire known as Hell's Glen, is often chaffed by the summer
+tourists rather unmercifully. One day, a nervous southern was
+criticising him on his furious and careless driving: "You shouldn't be
+on the box at all; I never saw such a wild driver." "Drive!" said Jehu,
+in a voice of thunder. "Why, man, once every year, I drive the
+mail-coach _down that steep hill-side_ among the bracken. _And this is
+the day for it!_" So saying, the humorous fellow made as if to whip the
+horses down the cliff, and the terrified tourist shrieked aloud. "Seeing
+I've such a nervous passenger," said the driver, with a guffaw, "I had
+better break my own rules, and keep to the main road."
+
+
+THE CONVERTED DRUMMER.
+
+A dilapidated Scot, with a strong odour of the accursed, staggered into
+a Salvation Army meeting one night, and was deeply impressed by the
+service. He became a changed man, professed conversion, and got a
+thorough moral overhaul. Like many others, he had great difficulty in
+keeping his good resolutions, but persevered, nobly and successfully.
+Latterly, he was admitted into the orchestra, and got command of the big
+drum. He was so anxious to show his zeal, that he beat far too
+vehemently, and drowned all the other instruments in his ecstatic
+rataplan. The captain mildly remonstrated with him, and requested him to
+beat a little more gently. "_Gently!_" shouted the reformed drummer,
+"that's impossible. Since I've got salvation, I feel so happy, that I
+could ding the whole slammed thing to bits!" (or rather "slim the whole
+danged thing to bits").
+
+
+A CIRCULAR TICKET.
+
+Three commercials, travelling from Cork to Dublin, had a discussion on
+the illiteracy of the Irish railway employés. "Look here," said one of
+them, "the majority of the ticket collectors can't even _read_ the
+tickets they are supposed to check." The other two refused to believe
+him, but he stoutly maintained his assertion. Taking out of his pocket
+the round ticket given him at the office of the Cork hotel, and
+containing the number of his bedroom, he said, "I intend to offer this,
+instead of my railway ticket, at the first station where tickets are
+punched." Shortly thereafter, the train stopped, and a porter came round
+the carriages to look at the tickets. There was silence deep as death
+when the commercial handed his bedroom ticket to the official. The
+latter looked long and carefully at the thing and muttered, "Bejabbers,
+I never saw one like that before!" "Don't keep the train waiting," said
+the commercial, in a pretended fury, "don't you see it's a _circular
+ticket_." "Oh, and in faith it's you that's right: it _is_ a circular
+ticket," said the porter. So saying, he punched the hotel check and
+withdrew, leaving the three travellers to weep for joy all the way to
+Dublin.
+
+
+A COMPOUND POSSESSIVE.
+
+The following grammatical story will doubtless be new to most readers. A
+Sunday School jaunt had been arranged in an Ayrshire town, and the
+children were all ready to go in carts to a field, some miles away, for
+games and open-air junketing. Everyone was impatient to set out, but the
+piper was late, and the procession of carts could not start without
+music. The minister became impatient, and sent a youth to tell the piper
+to hurry up. The boy, on coming to the piper's house, saw a woman
+standing at the door, and addressed her in these words: "_Are you the
+man-that-plays-the-pipes's wife?_"
+
+
+SIXTEEN MEDALS.
+
+Those who doubt the efficacy of self-lauding advertisement are refuted
+by this story. A commercial traveller, representing a whisky firm,
+craved an order from a small Highland innkeeper. "Come, Donald," he
+said, "you must give me an order this time." "You will be getting no
+order from me, for your whisky is no good whatever. Dewar of Perth has
+got sixteen medals for his whisky; it is so good to drink, and makes
+people drunk so nice and quiet. But _your firm never got a single medal
+for filling folk fou_." The granting of medals for quiet and comely
+intoxication is a brilliant, although droll, idea.
+
+
+"SHE'S AULD, AND SHE'S THIN, AND SHE'LL KEEP."
+
+In a lone isle of the West, funerals are functions that cannot be
+celebrated (at least in the way consecrated tradition prescribes)
+without ample dispensing of whisky among the mourners. As there is no
+pier on the island, the steamer very frequently may not be able to call
+for days, during the terrific gales of winter. The legitimate stores of
+insular whisky thus occasionally become exhausted, and should a death
+occur during the period of dearth, a very regrettable situation arises.
+In the epigrammatic style of King James I., who used to say "_No bishop,
+no king_," we might express the difficulty by saying _No whisky, no
+funeral_. While a gale of exceptional ferocity was raging some winters
+ago, an old woman passed away, and there was not enough whisky on the
+island to bury her with credit. Her son scanned the angry sky and sea
+daily, in the hope that the weather would show signs of clearing up.
+After a week's blighted hopes, he still refused to sanction interment,
+remarking, "_She's auld, and she's thin, and she'll keep_." Next day the
+sea was calm, the _Dunara_ called, and the old lady got her _munera
+pulveris_.
+
+
+THE WILL O' THE DEAD.
+
+The foregoing story suggested to one of the auditors the tale told in
+connection with the death of Lord Forglen, one of the Judges of the
+Court of Session, in 1727. After a long illness, in which he had endured
+the expert advice of several eminent physicians, Forglen, one morning,
+departed into the land of shadows. Not knowing of the fatal termination,
+one of the medical men, Dr. Clark, called as usual and asked David Reid,
+clerk to Forglen, how his master was. David's answer was: "I houp he's
+well,"--a gentle euphuism, indicating that all was over, and also a
+timid hope that Heaven had received a new inhabitant. The doctor was
+shown into a room where he saw two dozen of wine under the table. Other
+doctors arriving, David made them all take seats, while he detailed,
+with much pathos, the affecting incidents of his master's dying hours.
+As an antidote to their grief, the company took a glass or two, and
+thereafter the doctors rose to depart, but David detained them. "No, no,
+gentlemen; not so. It was the express will o' the dead that I should
+fill ye a' fou, and I maun fulfil the will o' the dead." All the time
+the tears were streaming down his cheeks. "And indeed," said Dr. Clark
+afterwards, when telling the story, "he did fulfil the will o' the dead,
+for before the end o't there was na ane of us able to bite his ain
+thoom."
+
+
+SORRY FOR LONDON.
+
+The following story is a good example of insular patriotism. Certain
+shooting tourists in the island of Mull, who hailed from London, and who
+were expecting important news from the capital, were greatly exasperated
+to find, on calling at the local post-office, that telegraphic
+communication with the mainland had broken down. Some very uncanonical
+language was indulged in, which the local postmaster deeply resented.
+One tourist after another, exclaimed with blank despair: "Alas, poor
+Mull will get no news from London to-day." "What will Mull do without
+the London news?" "No news from London, what a misfortune for Mull!"
+This harping on the forlornness of the island caused the blood of the
+postmaster to boil with indignation, and he shouted in ire: "It is not
+Mull I will be sorry for, at all, at all. Mull can do without the
+London news. But what will poor London do, when she finds she will not
+be able to get any news from Tobermory, or from Salen, or from Dervaig,
+or from Craignure, or from Lochdon, or from Lochbuie, or from Bunessan,
+the whole of this blessed day!"
+
+
+"RAITHER UNCEEVIL."
+
+A well-known boat, _The Stormy Petrel_, had been to Ardrossan for coal,
+and was conveying the precious cargo to the romantic terminus of
+Cairndow at the head of Loch Fyne. At St. Catherine's a great thirst
+took possession of the crew, and they put in there for refreshments. The
+conversation was most animated, and extended itself over a wide tract of
+political and theological topics. On setting out for Cairndow early next
+morning, all the crew had wistful, lustreless eyes, confused thoughts,
+and bad consciences. He to whom the coal was being conveyed, was
+awaiting them. He rowed out to _The Stormy Petrel_ in a small boat, and
+on coming near assailed them, in English and Gaelic, with all the most
+vituperative expressions he could remember. But the crew, each and all
+of them, knew they had been guilty of culpable delay, and uttered not a
+word, good or bad, as their assailant rowed round their boat and
+withered them with his invective. They had no fight left in them, and
+sat, with bowed heads, till the storm would subside. After enduring the
+agony for half an hour, one of the crew looked up and said, "Do you no'
+think, Mr. Sanderson, that you're _raither unceevil so early in the
+morning_?" This remark, uttered in a quiet, sad, reproachful way,
+staggered Mr. Sanderson far more than the most thunderous abuse would
+have done, and brought home to him the undoubted fact that he had been
+defective on the score of good taste.
+
+
+AN UNWELCOME RECITATION.
+
+One of the travellers, on being asked to contribute his item to the fund
+of anecdotes, said that instead of telling a tale, he would give a
+recitation. Before doing so, he sneezed artificially six times, and then
+recited a poem on
+
+ _Influenza._
+
+ Influenza has come like the wolf on the fold,
+ And the duke and the ditcher are down with the cold.
+ The doctor is smiling, for business is here,
+ And the chink of the guinea resounds in his ear.
+ No household is spared: both the villa and cot
+ Their quota of swollen-nosed patients have got.
+ The clerk of the weather is gloating on high
+ At the lords of creation that bed-ridden lie.
+ Each chamber resounds with the echo of sneezing,
+ With deep-laboured coughing and bronchial wheezing.
+ While, loading the table, the victim can spy
+ Lotions, tonics, and ointments confusedly lie.
+ The druggist (douce man) is thanking his stars
+ For this nice epidemic of paying catarrhs,
+ He's making his hay, though no sunshine is seen,
+ And his till gleams with silver where copper has been.
+
+
+A WORD IN SEASON.
+
+This dismal piece of verse effectually cleared the smoking-room, and
+filled me with a great sorrow, since I had just recollected three or
+four stories of my own. I now take the liberty of laying these before
+the ingenuous reader. If he says they are dull, let me tell him (i.)
+that he has no perception of humour, and (ii.) that occasional dulness
+is the inalienable privilege of every free-born Briton. Many a spry
+wight thinks it his duty to be _continuously funny and monotonously
+merry_. Let a quiet and demure dulness be the foil of your
+side-splitting sallies. Learn to keep the peace, yea for hours at a
+time. If you are in a mixed company, cultivate the dictum of "give and
+take." Be not for ever doling out your scraps of mirth to the dyspeptic
+stomachs of your associates. A wise reciprocity and interplay of
+merriment is the best rule--a fair share among the entire party. Burns
+himself, sparkling talker as he was, is recorded to have been at times
+sunk in gloom and shadow. But anon emerging from his moodiness, he would
+utter such words as set the table in a roar. And now for these
+masterpieces of humour.
+
+
+A NAIRN CRITIC.
+
+Why is it that publishers, aye, and even booksellers, are so often out
+of sympathy with the poets? I spoke once to a bookseller in Nairn about
+a local poet's volume that was lying on the counter. "Do you personally
+know this bard?" I asked. "Ay, that I do," was the reply; "he's an
+eccentric wee chap. I've many a laugh at him as he goes along the
+street, muttering to himself and picking his teeth with a fountain-pen.
+Eccentric! bless my soul, how could a poet be anything but eccentric?
+Besides, he's bound to be a liar: for if he can't get the end of a line
+to come right with truth for a rhyme, he has got to make it _clink with
+a whopper_. Why, man, it's a great worry for an honest man like me to
+speak the truth in plain prose. If I were to send out my bills in metre
+to my customers, there would be a rise of temperature soon in the town
+of Nairn. No, no: the only thing that can be done with a poet's
+manuscript is to take it to the head of the garden, sprinkle it with
+paraffin, and apply a vesta."
+
+
+"A GRAND DAY FOR IT."
+
+While one of the great six-day battles of the Eastern war was going on,
+a country doctor, by some mistake in delivery, did not get his _Herald_
+to breakfast one morning. Anxious to get the news, he bolted his meal
+and sallied forth to hear the latest from the seat of war. He saw a
+wrinkled old churl trimming the roadside hedge with a bill-hook, and
+humming a tune like the gravedigger in _Hamlet_, Act v. "Any news of the
+war?" gasped the doctor. "Eh?" said the old man, without discontinuing
+his work. "Are you not aware," said the doctor, "that there is a great
+battle raging in Manchuria?" "No," said the man, "I know nothing about
+it, and care less." "What!" shouted the doctor. "You care nothing about
+it? Why, man, the Russians and Japanese are at this moment _fighting for
+the hegemony of all Eastern Asia_." "Lord, do you say so?" replied the
+old cock, lopping unconcernedly at his hedge; "well, all I can say is,
+that _they're gettin' a grand day for it_."
+
+
+A PRO-BOER.
+
+On one occasion, in the West Highlands, I availed myself of a lugsail
+ferry to cross an arm of the sea and so avoid a long détour by land. The
+boat was old, the sail was thick with big-stitched patches, and the
+ferryman was an elder. I had much edifying talk with him, and at last
+gliding from the Declaratory Act, of which he did not approve, I asked
+him if he had any family. "Yes," he replied, "I have two sons. One of
+them is a polissman in Glasgow, a nice lad, a very nice lad: he sends me
+ten shillings every month; oh! an excellent lad is he indeed. But my
+other son is a disgrace to me; he is bad, very bad. He is a drunkard and
+a card-player and a Sabbath-breaker, and what's a thousand times worse
+than all that, he's a _Pro-Boer_." This instance of patriotism in a
+remote Highland nook was very refreshing for me to hear, and I gave the
+anti-Krugerite elder a substantial fare for his trouble in ferrying me
+over the loch. He invoked the blessing of Heaven on me, and I hope his
+prayer will be answered.
+
+
+"FALLS OF BRUAR, ONLY, PLEASE!"
+
+Some years ago, I had occasion to spend a day at Blair Athol, where I
+was dosed with nothing but kindness by a genial son of the famous Clan
+Macdonald. He put his trap and driver at my disposal, in order that I
+might, with comfort and expedition, go and view the Falls of Bruar,
+immortalised in one of Burns's cleverest poems. No sooner had we set off
+than the driver began to calumniate Burns in unmeasured language, and to
+throw withering scorn on the Falls, which, he declared, were utterly
+unworthy of being visited by any sane man. "If you want to see real
+falls," said he, "I'll take you to the Falls of Tummel, which could
+knock those of Bruar into a cocked hat!" (such was the curious metaphor
+he employed). I told him he could take me to both if there was time, but
+Bruar I must see. He landed me at the Tummel, and drove on recklessly
+himself a mile further to see his sweetheart. The desire to pay a visit
+to his Bonnie Jean was the sole cause of his gibes at the poet. Back he
+came in an hour, chanting merrily, and we drove to Bruar. I found the
+varlet had lied most expansively: the Falls are gloriously fine, and
+worth walking a good many miles to see. On the homeward road, I could
+see he was ill at ease: he was dreadfully afraid that his amorous flight
+would be discovered by his master. He said to me once every minute,
+"_Falls of Bruar, only, please: keep your thumb on Tummel!_" Latterly he
+set these words to a kind of rough music, and sang them continuously in
+my ear, winking the while and smiling roguishly. I obeyed him.
+
+
+A BAD CASE OF NERVES.
+
+While I was sitting alone in the smoking-room of the hotel, a tall,
+thin, restless-eyed, aristocratic young fellow came quietly in. He went
+up to the sideboard, poured out half a tumbler of water, and carefully
+measured out about ten drops of phospherine therein. He swallowed the
+mixture, smacked his lips, and sighed. He then remarked that it was a
+nice evening and that he was very ill with a nervous complaint. "I
+suppose, now," he said, "you would actually tell me not to worry, to
+take everything easy, and, above all, to firmly believe there is nothing
+whatever the matter with me?" "Most certainly," I said, "you ought to
+consider yourself in perfectly good health; by and by you would come to
+be so in reality. The Christian Scientists say you might even learn to
+hold fire in your hand by thinking of the frosty Caucasus." "I suppose,
+too, you would recommend me to have a hobby, such as golf, or gardening,
+or amateur photography." "Yes, I believe a harmless hobby such as you
+mention would relieve the mental strain and take you out of yourself."
+"Well, I essayed golf, but, alas! I massacred a ram; I tried gardening,
+and tired of it before the flowers began to show; and as to photography,
+it only increased the number of my enemies." "What about cycling or
+horse-riding?" "These won't do--I can _think_ at both of them. Now, I
+_don't want to think: in fact, I mustn't_." "Fishing? wouldn't that be a
+reposeful diversion?" "No, no," he said, "I could not stand the sight of
+an animal enduring pain." "Well, you surely might try a little light
+reading." "The strange thing about my reading is this," said he, "I look
+at a sentence and understand it, but I am aware of something, either at
+the back of my head or behind me, which says, 'All this is futile stuff
+and nonsense: give it up, it's not for you; you are condemned to
+everlasting emptiness, and your life will never know any more fulness or
+joy.'
+
+ "Immense vacuity of intellect!
+ I lift a volume, but a sentence tires;
+ Even a flimsy magazine requires
+ From me more concentration and direct
+ Volition than my vagrant wits elect
+ To give the pages. All my soul desires
+ Is to gaze without purpose on the fire's
+ Crackle of glowing cinders, and detect
+ Weird shapes of beasts and palaces and men
+ In the red mass of photographic coal;
+ Perchance my lazy mind may, now and then,
+ Without exertion, read as on a scroll
+ (While the glede sinks to ashes in the grate)
+ The dust and nothingness of mortal state."
+
+"Well," I said, "your case is a queer one, and I am at a loss to suggest
+anything further." At this, the young man burst into a loud peal of
+laughter. He was supremely delighted at finding himself so unique, so
+singular. He took me by the hand, shook it most heartily, saying, "I
+haven't enjoyed myself so much for a long time. If I were oftener in the
+company of men like you, I might regain hope."
+
+The improvement was, unfortunately, of very short duration. He continued
+his observations thus:
+
+"And yet, and yet: _Sunt lacrimae rerum_. What is this world but a
+succession of fleeting images chasing each other across a background of
+joy or pain! Now we quaff the sour cup of misery, by and by we drink the
+intoxicating vintage of hope. Heaven alone stands firm, gemmed with the
+pitiless stars. The day breaks, rises to its glory in the shimmering
+height of noon, and dies away in the west: so does the utmost pride of
+man's career fade away to nothing, a harvest for Time's scythe. On all
+this growth and decay the stars gaze with their unpitying and eternal
+eyes. I think I'll have a little more phospherine."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+LEGENDS AND LITERARY NOTABILIA.
+
+ Gairloch folk-lore: Prince Olaf and his bride--A laird who had
+ seen a fairy--Tales from Loch Broom: The dance of death--The
+ Kildonan midwife--The magic herring--Taisch--Antiquities of
+ Dunvegan--Miscellaneous terrors--St. Kilda--Lady
+ Grange--Pierless Tiree--Lochbuie in Mull--Inveraray Castle--The
+ sacred isle--Appin--Macdonald's gratitude--Notes on the
+ Trossachs--Lochfyneside: Macivors, Macvicars, and
+ Macallisters--Red Hector--Macphail of Colonsay--Tales from
+ Speyside: Tom Eunan!--Shaws and Grants--The wishing well--Ossian
+ and Macpherson--At the foot o' Bennachie--Harlaw--Lochaber
+ reivers--Reay and Twickenham--Rob Donn--Rev. Mr. Mill of
+ Dunrossness.
+
+
+GAIRLOCH FOLK-LORE.
+
+I do not think anyone interested in local history and antiquities could
+find a greater treat than that furnished by Mr. Dixon's _Account of the
+Parish of Gairloch_. That romantic and lovely district is fortunate in
+having found a historian of unlimited enthusiasm and untiring industry.
+There is not a single dry page in his long and detailed narrative. Many
+of the legends he tells are known to me from other sources, but I am
+certain that no Scotch compiler (Mr. Dixon, let me say, is English) has
+written of them with such enjoyable sympathy and poetical ardour. I have
+been assured by local authorities that the facts adduced by Mr. Dixon
+are invariably reliable. That I can well believe; but what is still more
+rare, Mr. Dixon's facts are everywhere made to gleam and glitter in the
+radiance of romance. Let me narrate, in concentrated form, one of the
+legends which this clever writer has alluded to in more than one of his
+chapters.
+
+
+PRINCE OLAF AND HIS BRIDE.
+
+In the ninth century of the Christian era, one of the islands that in
+such picturesque fashion dot the surface of Loch Maree, was honoured by
+being the abode of a pious hermit, despatched thither from the sacred
+isle of Iona. His presence there, implying as it did austerity,
+perpetual worship of Heaven, and the reading of devout treatises,
+inspired veneration in the minds of the obstreperous tribes around. They
+felt themselves better from having such a good man near them. Wherever
+in these old times of war and gore, a saintly pioneer established
+himself, the kingdom of chaos and night was pushed back for miles around
+his cell.
+
+The Picts of the ninth century revered this man, and his fame was known
+also to the predatory seamen who came buccaneering among the islands of
+the West. A Viking of royal blood, Prince Olaf, in the intervals of his
+sea-roving, hied sometimes to the hermit's retreat, for instruction and
+spiritual blessing. The young man, as tradition alleges, was not beyond
+the need of guidance, for his temper was of the most fiery violence,
+and, at the slightest provocation, his hand was on the hilt of his
+sword. No doubt the saint of Isle Maree managed to moderate the Prince's
+vehemence, and draw him somewhat away from wrath which (as Homer puts
+it), waxeth like smoke in the breasts of warriors, and is far sweeter to
+them than trickling honey.
+
+By and by, this youth fell in love, and in characteristic fashion he
+loved with a whole-souled and overwhelming passion. The hot-tempered
+Viking became a new man, and he thus communed with himself: "How can I
+ask this maid to share my life on the stormy sea? She is too tender and
+gentle to go under the dark clouds in a war-galley with me and my rude
+mates, when we sail to meet the enemy. Nor, were she my wife, could I
+leave her behind and unprotected. Marry her I must, but I can neither
+take her with me thereafter, nor defend her in my absence. Go to, I'll
+e'en visit the monk of Isle Maree and get counsel from _him_."
+
+It is pleasant to note that the holy father found a way out of the
+difficulty. "Marry her, my son," said he, "and build a tower of strength
+as her abode on this isle of mine. When you are away, she will be near
+me. Old man as I am, the natives respect me for my devotion and my hoary
+hairs." The prince's scruples, so honourable to his love, were overcome.
+The marriage was celebrated with great pomp and rejoicing. The green
+pathways of the isle were thronged with feasters; tents were erected
+beside the thickets of oak and holly, and the Loch had little rest from
+the plashing of oars. The hermit blessed the couple and blessed the
+castle too in which the twain were for a time to reside.
+
+Prince Olaf and his lady were perfectly happy, and the golden hours of
+their wedlock sped merrily by. But the hours that were short to them,
+were long and dreary to the Norse rovers, lying inactive in the ships
+anchored hard by in the waters of Loch Ewe. Murmurs, growing at length
+in volume, were muttered by the men as they reflected, day by day, on
+the soft uxoriousness of their leader. They wished to be at sea on an
+expedition that had been planned aforetime ere the marriage had taken
+place. These murmurs reached the prince's ears, and, with many tears, he
+tore himself away from the bridal tower to take his place at the head of
+the squadron. It was a bitter severance, but tempered by the expectation
+of a speedy reunion. The prince took with him two pennons, a black and a
+white. "If I am successful in my expedition," he said, "I will display
+the white pennon on my galley; if misfortune befalls me (which God
+avert) the black will be flying on the prow. Do you come to meet my
+returning fleet and let a similar indication be visible on your barge to
+tell of your safety or your misfortune. A lover feels his excitement
+growing, the nearer he comes to his home: let us abridge, by such a
+device, the length of our anxiety."
+
+Love did not make Olaf a worse fighter: rather, indeed, it improved his
+prowess. The thought of the fair young wife in the lonely tower,
+protected mainly by the sanctity of an old hermit, nerved his arm, and
+he speedily got through the expedition with great applause. He swept
+everything before him, and turned homeward in the expectation of a
+cordial and meet welcome. During his absence, the lady had been
+fretting. Finally, as the days passed, she became downright angry. "He
+is neglecting me," she cried; "he goes away from my arms to the society
+of rough seamen. I am a mere bauble, a plaything for his leisure. He is
+tired of me, and perhaps on some distant coast he is dallying with a
+newer sweetheart. But I will try his heart. When I hear of his
+homecoming, I will go forth on my barge and have the black flag of
+desolation flying from the prow. In this way I may obtain some hint of
+his real feelings."
+
+Olaf came homeward in great glee, and on entering Loch Ewe from the
+outer sea, the white pennon of success flapped gaily in the wind. The
+princess, on the other hand, let prepare her boat, and, clothed in the
+weeds of death, lay down on the deck, while simulated sobs of woe and
+lamentation were raised by all her attendants. Slowly the boat, with its
+ill-omened signal, moved to meet the conquering hero. Olaf, the
+impetuous, was chilled to the heart, when he saw what he thought the
+sure indication of his lady's misfortune. What a sight met his eyes when
+he leapt on board! The princess stretched out in apparent death, and
+robed in the garments of the grave! He could not endure the torment and
+disillusion. He drove a dirk into his bosom with such passionate might
+that he fell down, bereft of life, mighty and mightily fallen, on the
+deck beside her.
+
+She had not expected such a tragic conclusion to her blamable artifice.
+Remorse, of course, got hold of her, and drawing the gory weapon from
+her dead lord's breast, she plunged it into her own. Too late was she
+convinced of his true love for her: she had only one duty, and that was
+to die with him. It is said in the legend that her life was not extinct
+when the barge, with its weird freight, returned to the hermit's isle.
+The old man, holding in his quaking hand the cross before her dying
+eyes, strove to comfort her somewhat as her blood ebbed quickly away.
+
+"The bodies of the unhappy pair," says Mr. Dixon, "were buried within
+the inclosure on the island, beneath the shade of the sacred hollies;
+they were laid with their feet towards each other, and smooth stones
+with outlines of mediæval crosses were placed over the graves, and there
+they remain to this day. A few stones still indicate the site of the
+hermit's cell, and a considerable mound marks where the tower stood."
+
+The last time I stood beside the little pier on Loch Maree, I noticed
+many indications of the advent of southern tourists. Empty bottles were
+floating on the waves, and the tiny steamer that plies on the loch was
+getting ready for the summer traffic. Visitors from the Lowlands do not
+suspect that such tales as I have narrated still live on the lips of the
+Gairloch natives, and help to pass the hours at many an evening reunion.
+How the centuries meet in such nooks of Ross! Steamers on Loch Maree,
+and Olaf's cross still standing on the hermit's isle! The driver of the
+mail-coach from Achnasheen to Gairloch will discuss creeds and schisms
+with you, and tell you he does not believe in modern religious
+developments at all; anon, as the coach passes the Gairloch Church, he
+will point with extended whip to a grassy hollow on the left, and say:
+"That is where the Free Church used to have its open-air Communion
+Service: the place is called _Leabaidh na Ba Bhàine_, because Fingal
+scooped it out as a bed where his white cow might calve." "But did
+Fingal lodge in this neighbourhood?" you ask. "Oh yes, he did whatever,"
+the driver will reply, "and the best proof of it is, that if you go to
+the north end of Loch Maree, you will see the _sweetheart's
+stepping-stones_, placed there by Fingal to keep his feet dry when he
+went that way to court Malvina."
+
+
+A LAIRD WHO HAD SEEN A FAIRY.
+
+Bailie Nicol Jarvie, whom we all know so well, confessed that when he
+heard the wild stories of the North, he felt his blood tingle and his
+pulses leap. This fact, which as a sober man of business he felt bound
+to apologize for, was probably due to heredity, his mother having been a
+Macgregor. The Bailie lived at a time when rumours of witchcraft and
+fairydom were more common than now, and when there was less
+dissemination of Scripture truth. It is a saying in some parts of the
+North that the profuse spread of the Shorter Catechism has been the
+means of driving witches and fairies out of their old haunts. For my own
+part, I know of nothing more likely to make them decamp.[28]
+
+I was lucky enough to meet a gentleman who declared, not with an oath,
+but with a _pretty strong_ asseveration, that he had once seen a fairy.
+It was in a railway train that I knit conversation with him. He was a
+kilted country squire, tall, thin, and soulful: on his head was a
+glengarry with a pair of flying ribbons. He spoke in rapt sentences, as
+if he were looking on a vision. This is the substance of his remarks:--
+
+ One autumn morning, when the world lay fair
+ Under the radiant blue, I musing lay
+ By a green knoll, beside a rippling bay,
+ When, suddenly, gliding through the silent air,
+ A green-clad apparition, wrinkled, spare,
+ Angry, and grieving, passed along the way
+ Before me for a moment's space. The fay
+ Was old and did not see me lying there.
+ I grieved to see her sob in fretful mood,
+ And often since I marvel in my mind
+ What grievous heart-pang drove her from the wood
+ To ease her heart away from her own kind.
+ Strange, that these tiny, soulless beings should,
+ Like us, be grieved and be with passion blind!
+
+These are the words of a man who speaks with conviction. I ought to
+mention that, ecclesiastically (and I hope in other ways, too,) he was a
+Moderate. Two things annoyed him greatly: (1) that the fairy did not
+deign to look at him; (2) that nobody but his little grand-daughter of
+eight would believe he had seen a fairy at all. "Why," he said, "I could
+draw that fairy now, if I had pencil and paper. I see her as plain as I
+see you. _Her little bosom was heaving, and she wore a necklace of
+twisted corn-stalks. I am sorry I did not offer her some refreshment._"
+
+ [28] A very similar account is given, of the dearth of the little
+ folk in England, by the poet Chaucer; only, that eminent writer
+ declares that the phenomenon is due to the zeal and prayers of
+ the monks and begging-friars, who paced about the country
+ muttering blessings and exorcistic paragraphs.
+
+
+TALES FROM LOCH BROOM.
+
+The enquirer will find a specially abundant crop of old stories if he
+stays long on Loch Broom side. The bard of Ullapool, Mr. Roderick
+Mackenzie, has made an excellent collection of romantic incidents
+associated with the neighbourhood, and has told them in a very quaint
+and effective fashion. From his collection I now cite a specimen or two.
+I by no means recommend them as reading for the small hours of the
+morning.
+
+
+THE DANCE OF DEATH.
+
+Three young fellows belonging to Strathmore, in the parish of Loch
+Broom, were returning from the Low Country, where they had been living
+for some time. It was long before the days of Watt and Macadam; roads
+were not good, progress was slow, and rain was frequent. When they, in
+the final lap of their journey, arrived at the green hillside of
+Lochdrom, the weather was extremely inclement. Seeing a commodious
+shieling on the braeface, the young men entered, and one of them, with
+the object of driving dull care away, struck up a lightsome tune on his
+pipes. His two comrades at once began to fling their legs about and
+caper merrily. Soon, having succeeded in dancing themselves dry, they
+all agreed that female partners would be a great acquisition. The wish
+was at once gratified. Three women mysteriously glided into the
+shieling, and the dancing began in earnest. One of the women stood close
+by the piper, while the other two skipped about, with their partners,
+all round the building. Outside it thundered and lightened in terrific
+fashion. Tired and sweating, the two couples were at length fain to
+stop, and they sat down to rest on seats of turf and heather. The piper
+stopped too: he felt some malign influence coming over him; he was
+certain some devilish deed was a-doing. Stealing a glance at his two
+friends, he perceived that they were both stark dead, and that the two
+infernal huzzies were smiling a hideous smile of triumph. Action, he
+felt, was immediately necessary: he flung the still groaning bagpipes
+full in the face of the witch near him, stunned her thus for an instant,
+and with one wild leap cleared the threshold. And now began a hot race
+and hot pursuit. Like another Tam o' Shanter, but without the mare, the
+piper sped over the moor and through the rain, plying a foot as good as
+wings. Not till they came in sight of the clachan of Fasagrianach, did
+the witches relinquish the chase. The exhausted piper had a sad tale to
+tell to the mothers of his two hapless friends. Next day a company of
+mourners went to the scene of the infernal dance, and, amid much
+mourning, they sang a weird wail with the sad refrain, _Airidh mo
+Dhubhaich_, which, being interpreted, means "Shieling of my Sorrow."
+
+Let me give another tale, but of less sombre issue, culled from the
+folk-lore of the same locality.
+
+
+THE KILDONAN MIDWIFE.
+
+A woman living at Kildonan, on the north shore of Little Loch Broom, and
+exercising the useful profession of howdie, or midwife, had been
+summoned to attend a case at Keppoch. She did not arrive at her
+destination, although she left home after telling her neighbours where
+she was going. It was on Christmas eve that Fair Sarah, as she was
+called, left Kildonan, and for the space of an entire year, not a word,
+good or bad, was heard of her. Search parties were organized, but all to
+no purpose. Exactly twelve months after her disappearance--the next
+Christmas eve, namely--back came the errant midwife to her home, not a
+hair the worse for her long absence. She was immensely astonished to
+find she had been so long away, her own impression being that only an
+hour or two had elapsed. It was evident to all the natives of Kildonan
+that Fair Sarah had been among the fairies, in whose company, as every
+one knows, months and years slip past as quickly as hours and days.
+Sarah was asked to speak out and tell her experiences. "It seems to me,"
+said the flustered howdie, "that it was but last night that I left for
+Keppoch. Just as I passed the White Knoll, between Strathmore and
+Strathbeg, I came upon a company of little folk, who would have me with
+them, right reason or none. I accepted their hospitality, and what
+drinking, skipping, revelry, and glee my eyes beheld! At last I grew
+sick of their cantrips and capers. Remembering I was a Christian and a
+communicant, _I blessed myself in the name of the Glorious Trinity_,
+with the result that I was unceremoniously bundled out of the place."
+
+The White Knoll had long had the repute of harbouring fairies; Sarah's
+experiences put the matter beyond all doubt. That worthy female
+continued to ply her vocation for many years after, with unvarying
+dexterity and signal success. She was certainly a more prosperous woman
+after her year's excursion into Fairy-land.
+
+
+THE MAGIC HERRING.
+
+There is an interesting legend told of the device by which shoals of
+herring were first induced to come into Loch Broom.
+
+It seems that long ago (the precise date is unessential) the lochs round
+the island of Lewis were invariably, at the herring season, visited by
+magnificent shoals of fish, while not a tail was ever seen to twinkle in
+the spacious waters of Loch Broom. Abundance on one side of the Minch,
+destitution (for no earthly or apparent reason) on the other! After
+mature consideration, the dwellers by Loch Broom came to the conclusion
+that the anomaly could only be explained by the malignant operation of
+the Lews witches. Query: How best neutralise the spells of these partial
+harridans? A remedy, both unique and effective, was at length devised. A
+silver herring was made and given into the hands of a sturdy crew, who
+set sail with it over the water to Lewis. On arriving there, the men
+partook of an adequate amount of refreshment, let down the silver fish
+(attached to a cord) among the jostling shoals in one of the lochs, and
+then, with the metallic animal trailing in the sea behind them, they
+turned the prow of the boat in the direction of home. The ruse was
+successful beyond all belief: glimmering clouds of phosphorence followed
+through the seas below in the wake of the boat and its silver lure.
+Under the stars of night, in all the rapture of excitement and success,
+the Loch Broom fishers led the droves of herring right up to the
+farthest reach of their loch. The metallic herring was then allowed to
+sink to the bottom: there it remains, and so long as it is there, an
+abundant harvest of the deep will be the portion of the resourceful
+toilers of these shores. Perhaps I ought to mention that the famous boat
+which did the feat was painted black on one side and red on the other. I
+am not sufficiently versed in the niceties of _grammarye_ to be able to
+render a reason for this piebald device.
+
+Of late years, as I have been told, the prosperity of Ullapool is not as
+high as it was. Can it be that the Lews witches are at their old tricks
+again? Or has the silver herring been borne, by the wash of retreating
+surges, out into the Hebridean deep. Every visitor who walks through the
+sea-facing, white-washed little town, must be struck by the silence of
+the streets and the utter lack of business animation.
+
+
+TAISCH.
+
+The most interesting place in the island of Skye is, beyond question,
+the neighbourhood of Dunvegan. It was of surly, superstitious,
+loyal-hearted Samuel Johnson that I chiefly thought when I leapt out of
+the trap that landed me at the Hotel of Dunvegan, for I had just been
+reading his famous _Journey_, with its diverting remarks on
+second-sight. It would not, I confess, have surprised me over much, in
+my tired and wind-beaten condition, to see the Doctor and the Auchinleck
+laird, walking arm in arm along the road. I should have put it down to a
+kind of inverted _taisch_, certainly to nothing stronger.
+
+It may surprise many southerners to know that the belief in _taisch_ is
+not by any means extinct. I have met educated Skyemen who firmly
+believed in the mysterious visual gifts of the seventh son of a seventh
+son. In old days, the Highlanders were wont to attribute the gift to
+none but those of an austere and devout cast, who, living a solitary
+life in the eye of nature, were thought to be specially prepared for
+receiving supernatural impressions. I am afraid the vast majority of
+_taisch_ tales are dreadful nonsense. Mr. MacCulloch, in his recent work
+on Skye, has usefully summarized the various types of second-sight as
+expounded by the very credulous Macleod of Hamera: (1) The seer is aware
+of a phantom winding-sheet enwrapping the doomed person; (2) he may see
+the corpse of some one still in life; (3) he may behold a drowning or
+accidental death; (4) he may hear noises as of a coffin being hammered;
+(5) he may see a living person dwindle to the size of a child, and anon
+expand to normal bulk. As Johnson remarks, many of the seers declared
+themselves poignantly afflicted by what they saw. Aubrey tells of a
+clairvoyant who asked the presbytery to pray that the gift (or curse)
+might be taken away. Instant prayer removed the obsession.
+
+The extraordinary futility and droll language of the sentences uttered
+by some of the seers are very mirth-provoking. Here are one or two
+prophecies of the Brahan Seer:--
+
+ "The heir of the Mackenzies will take
+ A white rook out of the wood,
+ And will take a wife from a music-house
+ With his people against him.
+ And the heir will be great
+ In deeds, and as an orator,
+ When the Pope in Rome
+ Will be cast off his throne,
+ Over opposite Creagh-a'-chon
+ Will dwell a little lean tailor," etc.
+
+The following is excellent: "_When the big-thumbed sheriff-officer and
+the blind man of the twenty-four fingers shall be together in Barra,
+Macneill may be making ready for the flitting._" It is said that the
+same seer prophesied thus of the Strathpeffer wells: "The day will come
+when this disagreeable spring, with thick-crusted surface and unpleasant
+smell, shall be put under lock and key, so great will be the crowd of
+people pressing to drink the waters."
+
+Belief in clairvoyance and prophecy was quite common among the Lowland
+Covenanters; and I believe _Peden's Prophecies_ may still be found among
+the lumber of the book-shops. An old lady, in Irvine, once repeated to
+me the following couplet, as having been uttered by Peden:--
+
+ "Between Segton and the sea
+ A bloody battle there shall be."
+
+Now, as Segton is the old name for Kilwinning, it would seem that the
+locale of the battle (probably, as the lady, indeed, thought, the battle
+of Armageddon) will be _in the immediate neighbourhood of the site at
+present occupied by Nobell's Dynamite Factory_.
+
+
+ANTIQUITIES OF DUNVEGAN.
+
+_Taisch_ has taken me a long way from Dunvegan, of which I meant to say
+something. No souvenir is to me more delicious than that of some days
+spent there, on one of which I visited the fine old castle of the
+Macleods, stablished on its rocks, and filled with romance from base to
+topmost turret. On the landward side are lawns, flowers, and abundance
+of eye-gladdening leafage, while, seaward, there is the unspeakable
+glory of isle-dotted loch and distant sea. By the kindness of Macleod of
+Macleod (you must not call that grand and most genial gentleman by any
+more garish title: he is _the_ Macleod; he typifies the clan--that is
+his highest glory), I visited the delightful old castle and saw every
+room, relic, and dirk of importance. What gave me the most pleasure was
+the illuminating commentary of Macleod himself and of his charming
+daughters. One cannot hear the history of some of the rooms without a
+feeling of terror. In the drawing-room of the castle (the room now used
+for prayers, and well it may be,) a horrible outrage was planned to take
+place by Black Ian, a usurping chief. The atrocious deed happened in the
+middle of the sixteenth century, and was due to Ian's fear that the
+Campbells, who had landed with a large force in Skye, would expel him
+from Dunvegan castle. Ian, pretending that he wished to discuss terms,
+invited eleven of the leading Campbells to a banquet. At table, Macleods
+and Campbells were seated side by side; and, at a given signal, which
+consisted in placing a cup of blood in front of each guest, all the
+Campbells were simultaneously stabbed to death, each Macleod
+exterminating his man. I was glad to get out of that drawing-room.
+
+The main relics in the castle are: (1) The Fairy Flag; (2) Rory Mor's
+Drinking-horn; and (3) the Dunvegan Cup.
+
+It is not as well known as it should be that one of the mediæval chiefs
+of the Macleods married a fairy. This dainty little woman presented her
+lord with a yellow silk flag, dotted here and there with red spots. The
+virtue of the flag, she told him, resided in its efficacy to save the
+chief of the Macleods on three different occasions. After the third
+employment of the flag, it would flutter away to fairy-land. The flag
+has twice saved a chief out of a particularly awkward predicament, and
+it is still in Dunvegan, though sadly grimed and rent. The present
+chief, who has served his country nobly, is quite fit, in soldierly
+fashion, to grapple single-handed with any difficulty he may encounter;
+but he is in hopes that the flag may yield its residual virtue to the
+contentment of some one or other of his successors.
+
+Rory Mor's drinking-horn, which could contain, I should think, between
+two and three bottles of wine, is an interesting indication of
+pre-Reformation thirst. Of old, each chief as he came of age, was
+expected to drink off its contents at one draught as a proof that he had
+arrived at years of discretion.
+
+The cup is made of dark wood, and is finely adorned with silver work. It
+is dated 1493, and contains a Latin inscription.
+
+The Fairy Tower in Dunvegan Castle contains the room in which Dr.
+Johnson and Sir Walter Scott slept during their respective visits to the
+castle. The burly lexicographer would have little wind left for
+argument after he had toiled up the steep and narrow spiral stairway
+leading to the room. Formerly, so the smiling chief told me, the young
+lady chosen by the Macleod to be his wife, had to pass a night alone in
+this haunted chamber, in order that the fairies might have an
+opportunity of seeing her, and formally approving the choice.
+
+
+MISCELLANEOUS TERRORS.
+
+He who investigates Celtic demonology will hear a good deal about a
+gruesome and insidious animal called the _Water Horse_. This fell beast,
+though able at need to transform itself into the shape of a human being,
+is normally like a horse, though much bulkier and fiercer. Its usual
+abode is in the deep lochs, but it may occasionally be seen, with wreck
+or sea-weed clinging to its hoof or mane, feeding on the hill-side among
+earthly horses. The detestable feature about the brute is its fondness
+for human beings. There is no hope for any man, woman, or child, who
+gets upon its back: at a furious gallop, the animal bounds off by the
+nearest road to the loch, and leaps under the waves to devour its prey.
+Foals of a specially vicious turn are believed to have this brute for
+their sire: in some such way the furious nature of the horse called
+"Kelpy" in George Macdonald's story might be explained.
+
+Certain lochs in Skye are believed to harbour a variant terror, the
+water-bull. Loch Morar, on the mainland, contains a huge mystic bogie,
+undefined in shape, but of terrible malignity. I have heard too, in
+Uist, of a phantom dog, with eyes of glede and unearthly bark, that
+frequents the entrance to the old wayside burying-ground. No driver,
+unless fortified by several glasses, will drive you that way after dark.
+
+"Duncan," said a commercial traveller to a driver, "I'll have to go to
+Gruiginish farm to-night. Have everything ready at 8.30."
+
+"I can't do that, Mr. Smith; it'll be dark."
+
+"But you have lamps, Duncan."
+
+"Yes, yes, but I can't go. You have to pass the old cemetery."
+
+"I know that, but I must attend to my business. What ails you at the
+cemetery?"
+
+"There's the dog at the gate, the dog with the eyes of burning coal.
+What is he doing there? And the wee man inside, _What is he doing
+there?_"
+
+"I don't know what he's doing, but to Gruiginish this night I must go.
+Do you think a glass of _forked lightning_ would do you any good?"
+
+"Well, it might help."
+
+In spite of more than one glass of forked lightning, poor Duncan was in
+a terrible state of excitement when the cemetery was approached. He kept
+his head averted, and clutched the reins so nervously that the vehicle
+was in imminent danger of being upset.
+
+It is a beautiful saying of Goldsmith that innocently to amuse the
+imagination in this dream of life is wisdom. Judged by this standard,
+the imaginative operations taking place in Duncan's brain, considering
+their effect on his happiness, cannot be pronounced either innocent or
+wise. To add ideal terrors to the prosaic hardships of a place like Uist
+is the very height of folly. And yet it is precisely in such bare and
+rough regions where man has to fight with nature as with a constant
+foe, that the unseen powers are believed to be most terrible. The
+_lutin_ of the smiling land of France is a mere capering trickster, and
+the "lubber fiend" of Milton's poem is pictured as an unpaid adjunct of
+the dairy. Duncan's "wee man up on the hill-side" is a permanent and
+unspeakable horror of the night. "_What is he doing there?_"[29]
+
+ [29] Collins's long _Ode on Popular Superstitions in the
+ Highlands of Scotland_, addressed to Home, author of _Douglas_,
+ contains some excellent rhetorical passages. Speaking of the
+ second-sighted seer, Collins represents him as one who
+
+ "In the _depth of Uist's dark forest_ dwells."
+
+ We may say of Uist what Lord Rosebery said of Caithness, that it
+ is _entirely delivered from the contaminating influence of
+ foliage_. The air one breathes there does not suffer
+ deterioration by coming through any such _dark forest_ as Collins
+ mentions: it blows from the Atlantic in an absolutely pure and
+ strong condition.
+
+
+ST. KILDA.
+
+St. Kilda, the lonely and precipitous island, forty miles west of Lewis,
+which Boswell at one time thought of buying, has now, like so many other
+islands of the West, a well-furnished library from Paisley. I hope the
+minister of the place encourages the reading of the books, and does
+everything in his power to broaden the religious views of the people by
+healthy secular literature. A luckless inspector of schools crossed over
+once to examine the school of this island. His boat arrived late on
+Saturday, and was to leave again early on Monday. To suit his own
+convenience, the greatly-daring official proposed to examine the
+scholars on Sunday. Never was their such indignation among the
+islanders. What! examine the school on the first day of the week! Did
+the unhappy man wish the wrath of Heaven to fall in fire and brimstone
+on the island? The inspector was angrily hooted and denounced. Still, as
+he must needs return by his steamer, the islanders agreed to send their
+children immediately after Sunday was over, _i.e._, _the bairns were
+assembled at midnight_, and parts of speech were bandied about then in
+the visible darkness of the tiny school.
+
+St. Kilda belongs to the Macleod, and every spring the factor goes over
+to collect the rents. All winter the island is isolated, and has no
+outer news save, perhaps, from some stray Aberdeen trawler. For twenty
+years the factor went over in a sailing-boat belonging to the chief, but
+by some mishap, in which no lives were lost, this boat was
+ill-manœuvred and, with sails full-set, was engulfed in a whirlpool.
+He now goes over in the steamer.
+
+The first question propounded to the factor is this: "_Has there been
+war anywhere, my dear?_" If the answer is "Yes," a great joy is visible
+on every face. "_That's good, that's good: tell us all about it._"
+Having heard all about the war, the natives show an eagerness for
+sweets, of which they are inordinately fond.
+
+The natives are expert cragsmen, and much of their time is occupied in
+collecting birds' feathers. The oil of the solan goose is also a source
+of wealth. Rough tweeds are now woven in many of the houses. The factor
+informed me that, for some unknown reason, everything that comes from
+the island is impregnated with a heavy odour that is most disagreeable.
+Means have been tried to neutralise this smell, but success is only for
+a time: by and by the odour returns, as bad as ever, to fabric and
+feather. Merchants, both at home and abroad, are loath to purchase such
+unfragrant wares.
+
+In Dunvegan Castle are to be seen several of the little letter-boats
+employed by the St. Kildeans to convey news to Scotland in the winter
+months. The tide is watched, and the letter-boat cast into the sea.
+Usually the message is washed ashore on some part of the Long Island.
+Natural superstition supplements, in a small degree, the lack of mails:
+when the islanders, for example, hear _the notes of the cuckoo_, they
+are convinced that the Macleod is dead. Happily the cuckoo is rarely
+heard breaking the silence of the seas so far west.
+
+
+LADY GRANGE.
+
+To this day there are in the possession of the Macleod family certain
+old accounts of the years 1744 and 1745, that recall one of the most
+diabolical and continuous pieces of cruelty recorded in history. I refer
+to the accounts paid in these years to the Laird of Macleod for the
+board and burial of Lady Grange. No one who knows the history of that
+ill-fated lady can look at these time-stained documents without a
+knocking of the seated heart at the ribs.
+
+Everyone who has enjoyed the light and graceful poetry of Ovid, has
+sighed over the relegation of that city man to the barbarous horrors of
+the Black Sea. As Gibbon exquisitely phrases it: "The tender Ovid,
+after a youth spent in the enjoyment of wealth and luxury, was condemned
+to a hopeless exile on the frozen banks of the Danube, where he was
+exposed without remorse to those fierce denizens of the desert with
+whose stern spirits he feared that his gentle shade might hereafter be
+confounded." The banishment of Lady Grange to St. Kilda, in 1734, by her
+rascally husband, is to me fully as pathetic as Ovid's expatriation to
+Tomi. She, a refined and beautiful woman, the light of Edinburgh
+drawing-rooms, was hustled off to a lonely rock and left remorselessly
+to pine there amid the squalls. Let me briefly summarise this affecting
+history.
+
+Lord Grange, a Scottish judge of strong Jacobite leanings, was known by
+his Lady to be concerned in a plot, along with Lovat, Mar, and others,
+to bring back the Pretender. This was in the year 1730. Stung in her
+wifely pride by her husband's ill-treatment and licentiousness, she
+openly threatened to expose his treason. To prevent such exposure,
+Grange caused his wife to be kidnapped and clandestinely conveyed first
+to a small island off North Uist, and subsequently to St. Kilda. In the
+latter island, no one could speak any English except the catechist, and
+here for seven years this polished society dame lived amid the blasts
+and the screaming ocean-fowl, lacking even the privilege, which Ovid
+enjoyed, of sending letters to child or friend. In 1741, when the
+catechist left the island, she made him bearer of letters to her
+law-agent, Hope of Rankeillor. Hope fitted out a sloop, with twenty-five
+armed men on board, and set out for St. Kilda to rescue the lady.
+Macleod, who was, of course, privy to her detention, at once removed her
+to Skye, and Hope's expedition came to nothing. The poor woman, worn out
+with sorrow and suffering, died in 1745, a helpless imbecile!
+
+The story, which throws a lurid light on the savagery of the eighteenth
+century, and which, to my thinking, surpasses in pathos anything
+occurring in fiction, was long disbelieved. But it was only too true. It
+is said that ill-luck pursued the lady even after death, and that her
+funeral was a miserable parody. A coffin filled with stones and turf was
+interred, before a large crowd, in the churchyard of Duirinish, the real
+remains being, with maimed rites or none at all, secretly buried
+elsewhere.
+
+It is noteworthy that Lady Grange died in 1745, the year when Prince
+Charlie's hopes were shattered on Culloden Moor. Like her, he too had
+the ill-luck to be a hopeless wanderer in the Misty Isle.
+
+
+PIERLESS TIREE.
+
+I regret to say that I did not stay long enough in the island of Tiree
+to add to my store of legends, and yet, I went there with a capacious
+note-book and excellent intentions. What is more, I read from beginning
+to end, Dr. Erskine Beveridge's detailed book on the island, and could
+have passed an examination on semi-brochs, rock-forts, marsh duns,
+islet-forts, sandhill dwellings, and prehistoric burial-sites. I steeped
+myself so thoroughly in the _minutiae_ of pre-Reformation churches, that
+I almost forgot to go to the modern ones. Tiree took hold of me
+completely, and so did the Norse invaders of the Hebrides--men like
+Ketil Flatnose, Magnus Barelegs, Hako, and Somerled. I got a pocket map
+arranged for my own use (copied from Dr. Beveridge's large one) with a
+red cross at all the sites of ancient forts. It was my fond hope, for
+pride attends us still, that I might find some inaccuracy in Dr.
+Beveridge's book, and, from measurements on the spot, be able to
+contradict some of his statements. But what are the hopes of man! I did
+not know that predestination, in the form of dirty weather, was working
+against me, and was about to quench all my interest in _duns_. On
+September 5th, 1907, I determined to take Dr. Beveridge's measurements
+for granted.
+
+On that day, in fact, I was for some time under the impression that my
+last lecture had been delivered. It was on the way between Coll and
+Tiree. The gale was a furious one and, combined with the greasy odours
+of the _Fingal_, was enough to sicken a practised seafarer. I did notice
+that some of the crew were prostrated, so that there was some excuse for
+a landsman not being proof against Neptune's dandling. So low, exposed,
+and precarious is the shore at Scarinish, that, often for weeks, the
+ferrymen dare not venture out to the steamer for passengers. I asked one
+of the _Fingal_ men if there was any chance of being landed. He was a
+cruel cynic, and said: "No, not to-day. The sea is too wild for the
+ferry to come out. We'll go right across to Bunessan in Mull, so prepare
+for three more hours' shaking. You won't forget the _Dutchman's Cap_
+for the rest of your life." Then with a remark addressed to the
+Creator, he added: "_There's the ferryboat after all; she's racing over
+the water like a stag._"
+
+He was right: the lugsail was careering out to us and came alongside at
+length, and, after fearful trouble, got fastened to the _Fingal_.
+Sometimes the ferryboat was even with our deck, sometimes far above it,
+sometimes fifteen feet below. It looked like certain death to leap into
+that lugsail.
+
+I hesitated, and shouted to the captain: "Is it safe to jump?"
+
+He replied, "I wish to Tophet I had the chance."
+
+I watched for the next opportunity of the ferryboat and the _Fingal_
+being approximately on the same plane, and leaped into the arms of a
+boatman.
+
+Other passengers followed,--men, women, even babies. Then came the
+mails; and finally, live stock. I remember being struck on the mouth by
+a sheep heaved into the boat by the above-mentioned cynic. "Come, come,
+that's enough, keep the rest; let us be off," shouted a boatman.
+Everybody was wet to the skin: the wind was howling; the women weeping;
+and the babies were mixed up with the sheep.
+
+Once clear of the _Fingal_, the adroit ferrymen did their duty well, and
+in less than ten minutes we were all landed. A crowd of islanders were
+waiting to lift us out. All agreed that it had been a _close shave_.
+
+Such was my introduction to _Pierless Tiree_.
+
+I did not stay long enough in the island to measure brochs, but quite
+long enough to experience the good-will and kindliness of the natives.
+The houses are solid and substantial, the inhabitants strong and
+muscular. Great gales from the Atlantic blow almost continually, sweep
+up the sand in clouds, and prevent any trees from taking root. I did not
+see much poverty with my own eyes, but the ministers all assured me
+there was a great deal. Maize, more than oatmeal, is the cereal used for
+porridge. For supplementary information, Dr. Beveridge's admirable and
+accurate work may be consulted.
+
+
+LOCHBUIE IN MULL.
+
+The great straggling island of Mull, so full of scenery, romance, and
+song, still awaits its historian. Few, who have ever visited the noble
+isle, will refuse to say with Macphail, the bard of Torosay:
+
+ "O the island of Mull is an isle of delight
+ With the wave on the shore and the sun on the height,
+ And the breeze on the hills and the blast on the Bens,
+ And the old green woods and the old grassy glens."
+
+The gem of the island is undoubtedly the haven of Lochbuie, one of the
+choicest nooks in insular Scotland. The modern mansion, which is but a
+step or two from the well-preserved castle of olden times, is quite near
+the shore, and looks straight south over the Atlantic to the island of
+Colonsay. The entire surroundings are a delight to the eye: great
+towering mountains behind, the sea in front, and in the space between,
+green lawns, rocks, gorse, and many-tinted garden-plots.
+
+The MacLaines of Lochbuie trace their descent from the great Gillean of
+the Battle-axe, a redoubtable warrior who flourished his weapon to some
+purpose in the reign of Alexander III. But the most notorious of all
+the MacLaines is _Ewen of the Little Head_, who died in battle, and
+thereafter assumed the rôle of family ghost. Before the death of any of
+his race, this phantom-warrior gallops along the sea-beach near the
+castle, announcing the event by cries and loud lamentations. The doctor,
+who attended the present chief's mother, declares that, while sitting
+beside her bed during the silent watches of the night, he heard the
+noise of the spectral horse just before the old lady's decease. The
+natives of Mull can describe the ghost and horse with accurate detail.
+The horse is a small, hardy, sure-footed animal of brown colour, and
+Ewen is known by the smallness of his head, and by a long floating
+mantle of green. He performed a weird and long-continued gallop round
+the bay in 1815, before the news of the valiant Sir Archibald MacLaine's
+death became known by official despatch from the seat of war.
+
+Lochbuie, like so many other places in Scotland, has its Piper's Cave.
+There is a remarkable similarity in all such tales--diversified,
+however, by quaint local additions. MacLaine's piper, a foolhardy man,
+determined once to test the allegation that a certain cave on Lochbuie
+was connected with another cave at Pennygown on the Sound of Mull.
+Attired in his official costume and having his dog at his heels, he
+entered the cave, blowing his pipes triumphantly. Those above, on the
+hills, were able to make out his line of passage by the sound of the
+music. At a certain point the pipes ceased, and nevermore did the piper
+come up to the shores of light. The dog got to the cave of Pennygown--a
+limp and hairless parody of its former self.
+
+Browning, in his "Pied Piper of Hamelin," has but poetised one version
+of a world-wide tale. Often, in the Highland tales, it is money the
+piper is after. There is a deep cave near Melvaig, in Wester Ross, into
+which a piper is said to have led a band of men in search of gold, and
+never returned. In this case the pipe-music is said to have continued
+for years--some natives even asserting that it may be heard still by
+those who have ears to hear.
+
+In spite of all the legendary lore connected with the family of the
+MacLaines, the chief interest of Lochbuie for a lover of literature,
+centres round the visit of Boswell and Johnson. In one of the rooms of
+the castle there is a fine portrait of Johnson. On looking at it, my
+mind reverted to the amusing question addressed to the sage by the
+"bluff, comely, noisy old gentleman" who was the laird of Lochbuie in
+1773: "Are you of the Johnstons of Glencro or of Ardnamurchan?" "Dr.
+Johnson," says Boswell, "gave him a significant look, but made no
+answer; and I told Lochbuie that he was not Johnston, but Johnson, and
+that he was an Englishman."
+
+I regret to say that the great war saddle, which was in Lochbuie's
+possession in 1773, and which Boswell did not see because the young
+laird had taken it to Falkirk with a drove of black cattle, is no longer
+in the island: somebody took it to America, and forgot to bring it
+back.
+
+The present laird is greatly beloved by his tenantry. At the lecture I
+gave at Lochbuie, he was unable, owing to illness, to take the chair.
+His absence was a terrible grief to the people, and the piper of the
+family, in a brief speech, alluded in a most touching way to the sorrow
+felt by all present.[30]
+
+
+INVERARAY CASTLE.
+
+Three days after Johnson and his friend left Lochbuie, they were
+entertained by the Duke of Argyll in Inveraray Castle. Boswell's
+description of the incidents of this visit is one of his finest efforts.
+He tells us that Johnson admired the "utter defiance of expense" shown
+by the Duke in the building and appointments of the place. Records exist
+which show that the masons were paid at the rate of 4½d. a day,
+_plus_ a weekly bonus of meal!
+
+It is interesting to note that the Rev. John Macaulay (grandfather of
+Lord Macaulay) was one of the ministers of Inveraray in 1773. Boswell
+gives him a very high character, but this had no emollient effect on the
+great historian, when he came to review _Croker's Edition of Boswell's
+Johnson_.
+
+Inveraray Castle is a superb object-lesson in Scotch history. All the
+Campbells of note for centuries past are hanging on the walls, from the
+old Duke who passed away last, to the squinting Marquis (_Gleed Argyll_
+mentioned in the "Bonnie House o' Airlie"), who was beheaded on the
+Castle Hill of Edinburgh in 1661. The Duke, who commanded at Sheriffmuir
+("when we ran and they ran, and they ran and we ran," etc.) is standing
+in his accoutrements of pride, painted by the son of Allan Ramsay:
+
+ "Argyll the State's whole thunder, born to wield
+ And shake alike the Senate and the Field."
+
+Mediæval armour, firelocks from Culloden, flags from a score of
+battlefields, mutely suggest the glory and gore of the olden times. It
+is impossible to walk through the rooms of such a place without feeling
+intimately in touch with the events of the past.
+
+The present hotel is the one in which Johnson and his biographer lodged.
+Burns came sixteen years later, and wrote on the pane of his bedroom
+window the scandalous epigram on Inveraray so often quoted. The present
+Duke (who has perpetrated a fair amount of poetry himself) would give
+much of his odd cash to recover that pane, which was cut out some years
+ago by a pilfering visitor.[31]
+
+ [30] I am inclined to think that the relationship formerly
+ existing between the Highland chief and the member of his clan
+ was perfect in its way--a _model_ of class relationship. There
+ was nothing menial about the clansman's attitude, though he gave
+ unbounded homage to his lord. At the battle of Inverkeithing, a
+ clansman and his seven sons gave up their lives to shield from
+ death their chieftain, Sir Hector Maclean. As the old man saw his
+ boys fall one after the other, he shouted with glee and pride,
+ "_Another for Sir Hector!_" until he himself lay, like a true
+ thane, beside his progeny. Nothing could be finer or more
+ touching than such a scene.
+
+ [31] Burns tells us that when in Inveraray Hotel, he was entirely
+ neglected by the servants, who gave all their attention to some
+ gentlemen from the Castle. In our day, the Campbells have shown
+ contrition by their willingness to admit that Burns was one of
+ their own clan. Burns's ancestors were, it is said, Campbells of
+ Taynuilt. Taynuilt means in English, Burnhouse. When the poet's
+ ancestors emigrated to Forfarshire, they were known as _Campbells
+ from Burnhouse_. In course of time the appellation was shortened
+ into Burnhouse simply, and latterly into Burness or
+ Burns.--Q.E.D.
+
+
+THE SACRED ISLE.
+
+Wordsworth came to Iona (which also belongs to the Argyll family) in
+1833, and wrote four poor sonnets on the sacred isle. This is what he
+saw:
+
+ "To each voyager
+ Some ragged child holds up for sale a store
+ Of wave-worn pebbles, pleading on the shore
+ Where once came monk and nun with gentle stir."
+
+Owing to its ecclesiastical renown as the cradle of Christianity in
+Britain, no island is so much visited as Iona. The audience I addressed
+was the most miscellaneous I have ever seen: there were boatmen and
+barristers, anglers and artists, curates and crofters, French and
+Germans.
+
+The present-day natives seem desirous of keeping up the old reputation
+for theology. The boatman who ferries visitors ashore, remarked to me
+with pride that his favourite book was one entitled _The Great
+Controversy between God and the Devil_, a book with which I was, and am
+still, unacquainted.
+
+Dr. Johnson's remarks on Iona remain the most eloquent tribute to the
+island. He never wrote anything finer. All the children in the Iona
+school should be made to learn the piece by heart.[32]
+
+It is most gratifying to think that Christianity has been the great
+purifying force in Europe. The introduction of Christianity into the
+world must be reckoned as the most revolutionary event of history.
+Nothing was ever more needed. To one who knows the morality of the most
+brilliant society of the Greeks and Romans, there is no need to extol
+the pure and lofty moral tone of Jesus of Nazareth. But those who have
+not read the masterpieces of ancient art, with their mingled beauty and
+foulness, may be assured that literature owes more to Christianity than
+has ever yet been told. With Christianity a great healthy breeze swept
+over the world. Men became ashamed of wallowing in the mire. An ideal
+was raised up before them for their worship and imitation. The old Adam
+and his deeds needed stern repression after the wild iniquities of the
+effete society of imperial Rome. The spirit needed to curb the flesh,
+literature needed to be cleansed. We, living to-day and nursed on the
+accumulated tradition of so many anterior Christian centuries, are
+sometimes disposed to minimise the debt we owe, in pure and simple
+morality, to the teachings of the New Testament. I find it impossible to
+imagine what the world would be without these teachings. They renewed
+the world, they made it do penance for its sins, they made advance
+practicable. An entirely retrograde movement is impossible when once man
+is indoctrinated with a grand ideal.
+
+ [32] Boswell's religious instincts come well out in his account
+ of the visit to Iona. Two of his descendants, Messrs. Albert and
+ James Boswell, devoted themselves entirely to religion, and were
+ well known in Ayrshire, thirty years ago, as zealous evangelists.
+ These two gentlemen went on a preaching campaign through the
+ northern islands, and did much highly appreciated philanthropic
+ and religious work there. They were members of the sect called
+ Plymouth Brethren.
+
+
+APPIN.
+
+In this chapter (as, indeed, in all the others) I am rummaging among my
+souvenirs for materials that are in some way noteworthy. It is utterly
+impossible to exhaust the romance and glamour of the Highlands. Those
+who go regularly North are certain to bring back, on each occasion, a
+host of interesting memories. "Swift as a weaver's shuttle fly our
+years": the chief difficulty is to jot down all that one sees and hears.
+
+On the occasion of my second visit to Appin, I stayed in the fine new
+hotel built on the eminence called Druim-an-t-Sealbhain. The landlord is
+a man of great wit and reading, and with him I had some enjoyable hours
+of miscellaneous conversation. Mr. Macdonald (for that is his name) has
+an excellent knowledge of the Celtic dialects, has translated into
+Gaelic verse some of the best-known poems of Burns, Tannahill, and
+Byron, and is extremely clever at retailing the legendary tales that
+still go rumouring along the Strath of Appin. He has also a good
+knowledge of English literature, and told me certain details regarding
+Scott and Wordsworth which I was pleased to know.
+
+It seems that Sir Walter was at one time tutor in Appin House, and was
+in the habit of visiting the cot of an old shepherd, a notorious
+_seanachie_, full of romantic lore, for the purpose of hearing, and
+writing down, the old man's tales. An oak tree is still pointed out,
+under which, it is said, Scott composed part of _The Lord of the Isles_.
+Appin is not very far from the castles of Dunollie and Dunstaffnage,
+which Sir Walter wrought skilfully into the texture of his tales.
+
+The most interesting item mentioned by Mr. Macdonald had reference to
+the visit of William Wordsworth and his sister Dorothy, in the year
+1803. Everyone who has read the life of the great poet of Nature knows
+the charming description of the district contained in one of his
+sister's letters. "We arrived," she says, "at Port-na-croish. It is a
+small village--a few huts and an indifferent inn, by the side of the
+loch; ordered a fowl for dinner, had a fire lighted, and went a few
+steps from the door up the road, and turning aside into a field, stood
+at the top of a low eminence, from which, looking down the loch to the
+sea through a long vista of hills and mountains, _we beheld one of the
+most delightful prospects that, even when we dream of fairer worlds than
+this, it is possible to conceive in our hearts_." Here follows a
+description so exquisite of the sea-scenery and the Morven Hills, that
+it deserves to be classed with the finest examples of word-painting in
+the English language.
+
+The new hotel at Appin is built on the low eminence referred to in the
+above-cited letter. The name Druim-an-t-Sealbhain is giving way to the
+complimentary title of "Dorothy Wordsworth's View." From the front
+windows of the hotel, the same calm inland seas, grassy hills, Morven
+mists, grim old forts, and intricate communion of land and water, can be
+seen precisely as they were seen by the Wordsworths more than a century
+ago. The Port-na-croish inn has become a village store: it is well
+worthy of note, not merely for the reference in the letter, but for a
+fine legend, which I shall now narrate.
+
+
+MACDONALD'S GRATITUDE.
+
+The first tenant of the inn was a Macdonald of Glencoe, a man between
+sixty and seventy at the time of the story, the year 1755 namely. He had
+around him a family of stalwart sons, all imbued with intense hatred of
+the clan Campbell. The peculiar and fiendish malignity of the terrible
+massacre of Glencoe precluded all possibility of forgiveness on the part
+of the clan. Highland hospitality has always been a lavish and
+magnificent thing, and Colonel Campbell and his assassins had been
+treated with exceptional kindness in Glencoe. The bloody outrage, in a
+midnight of winter snows, was too terrible a meed of hospitality to be
+readily forgotten or forgiven by the Macdonalds. This old innkeeper of
+Port-na-croish, then, hated the Campbells with the unquenchable hate
+that deep wrongs, done not alone to an individual but to a tribe,
+engender in the Celtic soul.
+
+One day a white-bearded wayfarer begged food and shelter in the little
+hostel, and in the course of conversation over the meal that was soon
+spread on the board for his wants, he let slip an avowal that, in his
+youth, as one of Campbell's men, he had taken part in the gruesome
+massacre of the "valley of weeping." Without more ado, the landlord
+slipped out and posted his sons at the door, with whispered orders to
+them that the stranger should be dirked to death on crossing the
+threshold of the inn. Returning indoors, old Macdonald, dissimulating
+his fell intentions, proceeded to ply the visitor with question upon
+question, so as to gain a detailed knowledge of all the incidents of the
+weird carnage. Finally he said, "Tell me, Campbell, what part of that
+devilish business made the strongest impression on your mind?" "I will
+tell you," said the old soldier, "what to me was the outstanding
+incident of that night. Towards the close of the massacre, a child's
+voice was heard piercingly on the night air--a scream it was, and seemed
+to come from no great distance. The captain sent me in the direction of
+the sound, bidding me, if the child should be a male Macdonald, to kill
+it forthwith; if a girl, to spare. I soon came up to the place whence
+the sound proceeded, and saw through the whirling snow, under the
+protection of a jutting cliff, a nurse with a boy of four years old,
+both of them wailing and shivering with cold. The child was gnawing a
+bone and, near by, a dog was crouching. Pity wrung my heart. I drove my
+bayonet through the trembling cur, and, going back to the captain,
+showed him the bloody steel as a proof that I had obeyed his commands."
+
+The innkeeper, who had been all ears, said: "You, then, were that
+soldier?" "I was, indeed," replied the old wanderer. "_And I was that
+child!_" said the landlord, "and _your_ life is saved. My sons stand at
+the threshold of the inn, ready to fall upon you when you leave. I
+countermand the order for your destruction. Here you shall stay, an
+honoured guest, till the end of your days, as a recompense for saving my
+life on that awful night."
+
+The story goes on to state that the foot-weary Campbell lived for some
+years a pensioner in Port-na-croish inn, and was buried at the expense
+of the grateful innkeeper. I do not know any story that comes nearer
+perfection.
+
+
+NOTES ON THE TROSSACHS.
+
+The Rev. Mr. Wilson, the cultured and genial minister of the Trossachs,
+has recently published a most readable little book on the district he
+knows so well. Perhaps no district indeed on the world's surface is so
+well known (even to those who have never seen it), as the Trossachs.
+Little did Sir Walter suspect, when he penned the stirring iambics of
+_The Lady of the Lake_, that he was furnishing materials to the
+pedagogue which would be parsed, analysed, and dissected by myriads of
+pupils in all the schools of the British Empire. We shall all carry with
+us to the grave the leading passages of that romantic lay: the
+stag-hunt, the duel at Coilantogle Ford, the whistle that garrisoned the
+glen, and the episode of the Fiery Cross. Such lines, we may say, have
+gone out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world.
+Happening to pass Strathyre station in July, 1907, I was requested by a
+bright-eyed little Japanese gentleman in the compartment to tell him
+where we were. On being informed, he (after casting an eye of pity on
+the deplorable stork that is supposed to decorate the drinking-fountain
+of the station), began to declaim, in capital English, the passage that
+begins--
+
+ "Benledi saw the Cross of Fire,
+ It glanced like lightning up Strathyre,
+ O'er dale and hill the summons flew,
+ Nor rest nor pause young Angus knew;
+ The tear that gathered in his eye
+ He left the mountain breeze to dry."
+
+Mr. Wilson's book to which I have alluded is a collection of the
+impressions written down by eminent visitors to the locality, from
+Dorothy Wordsworth to Queen Victoria. Carlyle, who was in Perthshire in
+1818, wrote the following note, which, though short, is finely
+characteristic of him: "The Trossachs I found really grand and
+impressive, Loch Katrine exquisitely so, my first taste of the beautiful
+in scenery. Not so, any of us, the dirty, smoky farm-hut at the
+entrance, with no provision in it but bad oatcakes and unacceptable
+whisky, or the Mrs. Stewart who somewhat royally presided over it, and
+dispensed these dainties, expecting to be flattered like an
+independency, as well as paid like an innkeeper." The foregoing note, by
+itself, is good value for the cost of Mr. Wilson's book (two shillings,
+namely), and raises regrets that the author of _Sartor_ did not travel
+oftener through the Land of Cakes. (The only other place in the
+Highlands where I have heard Carlyle spoken of, is Kyleakin in Skye,
+where he was the guest of Lady Ashburton, and where (as the natives
+say), the cocks and hens had to be removed out of ear-shot for his
+convenience.)
+
+One of Mr. Wilson's stories (contributed by a lady) is apposite at the
+present time, when so much is being heard of women's rights. Glengyle, a
+district of the Trossachs, was once _entirely ruled_ by a number of
+women, who constituted a sort of High Court with women as Judge and
+Jury. "The most notorious case which they dealt with, and which probably
+led to their downfall through drawing the ridicule of the country upon
+them, was a case of horse-stealing. The accused man had been seen riding
+furiously away on someone else's horse, and all evidence pointed to his
+guilt. To the astonishment of the outsiders, the jury returned a verdict
+of 'not guilty,' and the Judge on summing up declared the horse was the
+culprit, as it had run away with the man. _She condemned the unfortunate
+animal to be hanged, and hanged it was, while the man got off scot
+free._"
+
+
+LOCHFYNE-SIDE.
+
+None of the mainland counties of Scotland can boast of such wonderful
+ramifications of sea and loch as the county of Argyll. The present
+amiable and cultured head of the Clan Campbell declaimed, with great
+applause, at a social gathering not long ago, a fine poem, in which the
+beauties of his ancestral shire were floridly--but not
+unjustly--elaborated. It would be difficult to over-praise the county of
+Argyll, with its splendid sea-board, its rugged and impressive peaks,
+and its unrivalled fiords and lakes. Thanks to its proximity to large
+centres of population, few counties are so much visited. Its fame, in
+our day, is likely to be more widespread than ever, owing to the
+graceful and entertaining writings of Mr. Neil Munro, who probably
+knows the details of its local history better than any man living, and
+who possesses the inimitable art of interesting others in his
+delineations of the past. I confess that I feel, personally, as much
+interest in the Wars of Lorn as I do in the Siege of Sphacteria, and
+that "Glee'd Argyll" seems fully as attractive as Cleon or Brasidas.
+
+Of course, long before Mr. Munro, Loch Fyne had a European reputation,
+which it owed to its herring. The Popes of Rome used to eat these
+herring in mediæval times, and sent for them _viâ_ Amsterdam or Antwerp.
+Orthodox Catholics have always had good judgment in the matter of fish,
+and especially the French, who belong to a country which proudly boasts
+of being _the eldest daughter of the Church_. For many a generation the
+French came annually to Lochgilphead, and bartered their kegs of claret
+for barrels of salt herring. The French Revolution, among its many other
+effects, put a stop to this trade. War lasted for so many years between
+Britain and France, that, at the end of it all, the continental sailors
+had forgotten the way to Loch Fyne.
+
+Argyllshire is rich in legends, for many of which no date can be given
+except the elastic one _long ago_ or _in byegone times_. Let me cite one
+or two of these:--
+
+
+MACIVORS, MACVICARS, AND MACALLISTERS.
+
+On the road to Kilmartin is a place called the Robber's Den, the
+locality of which may be firmly fixed in the tourist's memory by noting
+that it is just behind a large distillery. Here, long ago, lived one
+Macvicar, whose wife was a Macivor. These names are important, and so
+also is that of the Macallisters of Tarbert, who one day stole cattle
+belonging to the Macivors. Mrs. Macvicar noticed these Tarbert
+scoundrels driving her father's cattle through the glen, and mentioned
+the fact to her boy. Young Macvicar followed the robbers, and found them
+in a forest feeding joyously on a slain bullock belonging to his
+grandfather. As each Macallister finished picking a bone, he would throw
+it violently against a big stone, remarking at the same time, with a
+chuckle: "_If a Macivor were here, that's how I would treat him_." The
+boy, from his hiding-place in the foliage, threw a stone and struck one
+of the feasters. The injured man blamed one of his own clansmen, and,
+after much recrimination, a free fight of Macallisters was the result.
+During the mêlée, the boy slunk off and told his mother's family what
+was happening. The Macivors, in a furious and determined band, soon fell
+upon their disordered foes, and completely routed them and regained
+their cattle, _minus_ the consumed bullock. The chief of the
+Macallisters was slain by a woman, who took off her stocking, placed a
+_large stone therein_, and heaved it at his head. That same night, Mrs.
+Macallister, wife of the chieftain thus ignominiously laid low, gave
+birth, perhaps prematurely, to a son, whom the care of a discriminate
+midwife secreted from the vengeance of the Macivors, who were howling
+all round the house. This child grew up to manhood with the picture of
+the stone-laden stocking ever before his mind's eye. He prepared a most
+effective retaliation: he sent to Ireland and got over a large band of
+Antrim men, who were quite pleased to help him in his bloody projects.
+The Macivors were completely overpowered, and even the Macvicars had a
+taste of Irish steel. Macvicar, father of the boy who distinguished
+himself in the wood, was attacked in his own house. He was an athlete of
+great powers, and was _able to jump thirty feet either in a backward or
+a forward direction_. The Irishmen set fire to his house, and
+Macvicar--hoping, no doubt, to make a final leap for life--tried to
+escape by the chimney. His foes struck him on the knee with a spear: he
+fell into their hands, and was at once despatched.
+
+
+RED HECTOR.
+
+We hear a good deal of the Irish in the traditions of Argyllshire. The
+ruthless Colkitto, notorious for his own deeds and also for Milton's
+mention of him, brought over a contingent of men from Ireland to help
+Montrose in the Royalist wars. These auxiliaries swooped down on
+Kintyre, murdered hundreds of Campbells, and devastated with fire and
+sword the whole of Argyll's country. To this period belongs the story of
+Red Hector and the Irish colossus, Phadrig Mor.
+
+Hector was a little, red-haired kern of the Campbell clan, who was
+caught by Colkitto's men skulking in the wood, and dragged with pinioned
+arms before the son of that bandit. Hector was about to be hanged
+without more ado, but as preparations were being made he cried out:
+"_Give me a sword and I'll fight any one of you. If I am beaten, kill me
+then._" The Irishmen, to whom an "illigant foight" has always been
+welcome, agreed to the proposal of Red Hector. They chose Phadrig Mor, a
+fierce giant of a man, to fight with the little fellow. The latter, to
+neutralise the advantages of Phadrig's stature, leapt nimbly on the sawn
+stump of a tree, and, in an attitude of defence, awaited the oncoming of
+his foe. The wee man parried most dexteriously every blow that Phadrig
+wished to deal, and there was much mirth and excitement among the
+spectators. At length, seeing a terrific blow coming his way, Hector
+speedily leapt off the trunk of the tree, and the Irishman's sword came
+fiercely down and was embedded in the timber. Now was Hector's chance:
+he laid about the defenceless giant to such purpose that Phadrig was
+soon a corpse.
+
+
+MACPHAIL OF COLONSAY.
+
+Leyden, the polyglott poet, has written a poem on an Argyllshire
+tradition attaching to the whirlpool of Corryvreckan. Near that dreaded
+tumult of waters, Macphail, a Colonsay man, was pulled out of his boat
+by a mermaid, and taken down to her shell-strewn chamber at the bottom
+of the sea. They stayed for years together, and five little, unbaptized
+Macphails claimed him at length as their sire. By and by he grew tired
+of the eternal swirling of the currents, the saltwater garden growths,
+and the irritating deflection of the sunlight. His mind continued to
+revert to Colonsay and the girl he had left behind him there. One day he
+got the mermaid to take him near the strand of his native island,
+whereupon he suddenly leapt ashore and escaped. In future years he
+avoided the sea as much as possible, preferring to devote his time and
+talents to cultivating the soil of Colonsay.
+
+
+TALES FROM SPEYSIDE.
+
+Part of my purpose in this chapter is to show to any of my readers who
+may have poetical talents, that abundance of material for verse, and
+that of the most pathetic, thrilling, and gruesome kind, is still to be
+found in the North country. No one since Scott has thought fit to draw
+much on traditions of the Highlands: and though Scott poetised a great
+many of these, plenty of them still remain unsung. Many fine tales are
+associated with the delightful district of Speyside.
+
+
+TOM EUNAN!
+
+Near the little village of Kincraig is a queer old church built on a
+hill called Tom Eunan, just beside the Spey. This church is declared to
+be the only one in Scotland in which services have been continuously
+held since the seventh century. The outside is antique in the extreme;
+inside, there have been renovations: there is a deal of varnished
+wainscoating that would have scared the Culdees, and instead of the
+uneven cobble stones of old, there is a modern floor of wood. On one of
+the windows of the church, there is a fine old bronze bell that exists
+as a relic of Culdee times. Some profane person once laid hands on this
+bell and carried it off to Perth; but it _would not_ ring away from
+Speyside. To speak figuratively, the bell was broken-hearted: from its
+metallic tongue, night and day, came the mournful wail, "Tom Eunan, Tom
+Eunan." I am happy to say that it was brought back to its beloved
+hillock.
+
+Rural churches with earthen floors were not uncommon in Scotland even in
+the nineteenth century: in such there would be no great trouble in
+interring the dead. Two Speyside stories, dealing with kirks and
+kirkyards, are told of the Grants of Rothiemurchus.
+
+
+SHAWS AND GRANTS.
+
+For several generations the possession of Rothiemurchus was a constant
+subject of dispute between the Shaws and the Grants. The Shaws were the
+original owners, but having waxed fat and kicked against the Government
+on more than one occasion, word was sent from Edinburgh to one of the
+Grants, who was Laird of Muckerach, that he should dispossess the Shaws
+of the lands of Rothiemurchus, _gin he could_. Grant was by no means
+"blate" in availing himself of the hint, but the Shaws were tough
+fighters. In a final and decisive contest between the two clans, the
+Grants were victorious and the chief of the Shaws slain. The victorious
+Muckerach, now unequivocal Laird of Rothiemurchus, caused his dead rival
+to be buried deep down within the kirk beneath his own seat. Every
+Sunday _when he went to pray_ he stamped his feet triumphantly upon the
+place under which lay the corpse of his enemy.
+
+Patrick Grant, surnamed Macalpine, cuts a rather picturesque figure in
+clan history. With a body of gaily-dressed retainers he paraded round
+the countryside, dispensing justice and letting the minimum of time
+elapse between the sentence and the execution. He was twice married,
+and his second wife survived him. That forlorn lady had much to endure
+from the first family, and notably from the wife of Macalpine's eldest
+son and heir. The widow took a very dramatic way of publicly showing her
+grievances. Once after the service in the kirk was over, she stepped up,
+with her fan in her hand, to the corner of the kirkyard, and, taking off
+her high-heeled slipper, she tapped with it on the stone laid over her
+husband's grave, crying out through her tears, "_Macalpine! Macalpine!
+rise up for ae half-hour and see me richted!_"
+
+A diverting legend explains the _low-lying situation of Ballindalloch
+Castle_, a beautiful specimen of baronial architecture, standing near
+the junction of the Spey and the Avon. In planning the place, somewhere
+about 1545, the laird fully intended to secure a wide prospect, and to
+that end, chose a commanding site. But his views did not commend
+themselves to the Powers of the Air, and the masons could make no
+progress. Every night, when the workers had retired from building the
+walls, a prodigious gale came roaring from the summit of Ben Rinnes and
+swept stones and mortar into the bed of the Avon. The laird, sorely
+puzzled at this strange phenomenon, lay in watch one night, with the
+result that he was blown off his feet, and landed right up among the
+branches of a holly-tree. Having taken the conceit out of the laird in
+this abrupt way, the Mysterious Power, chuckling in fiendish fashion,
+called out "_Build on the cow-haugh_." Frightened out of his wits, the
+laird was only too glad to comply.
+
+
+THE WISHING WELL.
+
+Round the old Castle of Rothes clings a legend of a more pathetic kind.
+"Fierce wars and faithful loves shall moralise my song," says Spenser,
+and it is with these well-worn but ever-fresh subjects that the story
+deals. The heiress of one of the old lairds of Rothes, being allowed to
+roam at will with her foster-mother, cast an eye of love on the son of
+the laird of Arndilly. As in ballad lore, the love seems to have been
+immediate, reciprocal, and unquenchable. The girl's father, hearing of
+the attachment, summarily forbade it, and commanded his daughter to turn
+her back on young Arndilly, and take a different road in future. But as
+journeys end in lovers meeting, the two young people, by whatever way
+they set out, invariably met at the _Wishing Well_. A sad severance
+came, however, for young Arndilly, like so many mediæval knights of song
+who had faithful mistresses, must needs go crusading to the Holy Land.
+During his absence, the lady hied daily to the Wishing Well, and many a
+tear she let fall therein as she thought of the lad that was so far
+away. But after many a month, back from Palestine came young Arndilly,
+and went, of course, straight to the old trysting-place, where he found
+his lady-love praying for his safe return. The meeting was rapturous but
+tragically short. A dark shape glided upon the scene, and drove a fatal
+dirk in the young soldier's back. The lady shrieked aloud and swooned
+away. For the rest of her life she was an imbecile: she never left the
+castle, and spent her time crooning a plaintive song and rocking a
+cradle. Her ghost still haunts the place, and those who have ears to
+hear can, at nightfall, make out, above the sough of the wind, the
+mournful notes of a weird lullaby, and mysterious cradle-rockings within
+the ruined walls. Close by the Well, at the spot of the murder, a bush
+sprang up, whereof the leaves resembled crosses; in autumn they turned
+to a bright scarlet colour, as if typical of the blood that had flowed
+there from its victim's wounds. Others will have it that the lady's
+ghost may be seen flitting about, distractedly, in the woods, on a
+particular night of the year--the anniversary, it is supposed, of
+Arndilly's murder.
+
+
+OSSIAN AND MACPHERSON.
+
+The beautiful little town of Kingussie is famous for its association
+with "Ossian" Macpherson, who was born near by. No man, born on Scottish
+earth, except perhaps, Sir Walter Scott, had ever such an influence on
+European literature as this Highland dominie. "His Ossian," as Professor
+Macmillan Brown says, "was translated into almost every European
+language; and its influence is apparent in Goethe's Werther, in
+Schiller's Robbers, and in all the Storm-and-Stress literature of
+Germany, in the productions and speeches of the French Revolutionists,
+in the romantic literary movement that preceded and followed the
+Revolution, and in much of the Italian, Spanish, and Danish poetry of
+the time. It generally affected the prose style of eighteenth century
+romance, and was a direct antidote to Johnsonianism in the imaginative
+literature. In our own century it bent the genius of Scott to the
+Highlands, and moulded the dramas of Byron, and the often vague imagery
+of Shelley; it appears in the style of Kingsley's Hereward, and directly
+or indirectly it is responsible for the pioneering efforts of Walt
+Whitman in prose poetry and for the rapid growth of poetic prose through
+De Quincey, Bulwer Lytton, and Ruskin. During last century it stirred
+Blake to misty prophecies, led writers of romance back into the less
+known periods of the past, and gave the new audience a delight in
+mysterious and almost formless legend and tale and idea."
+
+The extraordinary vogue of Macpherson's Ossianic poems was due to
+literary merit of a high order, and also to the parched and dry state
+into which the poetry of Europe had sunk in the middle of the eighteenth
+century. Boileau and his rules had crushed all sap and life out of
+European verse, and the poet had become either a teacher of rimed ethics
+or a framer of dexterous satire. How refreshing Ossian must have been to
+the men of such a time:
+
+ "The hills were round them, and the breeze
+ Went o'er the sun-lit fields again;
+ Their foreheads felt the wind and rain."
+
+Let the modern reader go through the _Rape of the Lock_, and then take
+up the song of the hunter Shilric from Macpherson's "Carric-thura."
+
+Shilric, not knowing that his love Vinvela is dead, thus communes with
+himself:
+
+ "I sit by the mossy mountain; on the top of the hill of winds.
+ One tree is rustling above me. Dark waves roll over the heath.
+ The lake is troubled below. The deer descend from the hill. No
+ hunter at a distance is seen. It is mid-day; but all is silent.
+ Sad are my thoughts alone. Didst thou but appear, O my love! a
+ wanderer on the heath! thy hair floating on the wind behind
+ thee; thy bosom heaving on the sight; thine eyes full of tears
+ for thy friends, whom the mist of the hill had concealed! Thee I
+ would comfort, my love, and bring thee to thy father's house!"
+
+To him mourning thus, the spirit of his dead love appears:
+
+ "But is it she that there appears, like a beam of light on the
+ heath? bright as the moon in autumn, as the sun in a
+ summer-storm, comest thou, O maid, over rocks, over mountains to
+ me? She speaks: but how weak her voice! like the breeze in the
+ reeds of the lake.
+
+ "'Alone I am, O Shilric! alone in the winter-house. With grief
+ for thee I fell. Shilric, I am pale in the tomb.'
+
+ "She fleets, she sails away; as mist before the wind! and wilt
+ thou not stay, Vinvela? Stay and behold my tears! fair thou
+ appearest, Vinvela! fair thou wast, when alive!
+
+ "By the mossy mountain I will sit; on the top of the hill of
+ winds. When mid-day is silent around, O talk with me, Vinvela!
+ come on the light-winged gale! on the breeze of the desert,
+ come! Let me hear thy voice, as thou passest, when mid-day is
+ silent around.'"
+
+The readers of the eighteenth century did not stay to consider whether
+the foregoing was, or was not, a genuine antique: it suited their taste
+admirably. Rousseau had brought sentimentalism into favour; the "return
+to nature" was a kind of creed with the French philosophers: these
+facts aided greatly in causing the epidemic of Ossianism that overran
+Europe.
+
+I should not like to be condemned to read nothing but Ossian for a year.
+The short staccato sentences, the difficulty of getting hold of anything
+definite amid so many moonbeams, gliding ghosts, whistling reeds, and
+feasts of shells, has a very debilitating effect on the mind. There is
+too much weeping: one is constantly saying with Tennyson, "Tears, idle
+tears, I know not what they mean." Yet, no one can dip into Macpherson
+without being rewarded by some phrase of an impressive or refreshing
+kind, _e.g._:--
+
+ "Thou art with the years that are gone; thou fadest on my soul."
+
+ "Why dost thou build the hall, son of the winged days?"
+
+ "Her steps were like the music of songs; she saw the youth and
+ loved him. He was the stolen sigh of her soul."
+
+ "Why does Ossian sing? Soon shall he lie in the narrow house,
+ and no bard shall raise his fame."
+
+ "When shall it be morn in the grave to bid the slumberer wake?"
+
+ "Mixed with the murmur of waters rose the voice of aged men, who
+ called the forms of night to aid them in the war."
+
+ "Autumn is dark on the mountains; grey mist rests on the hills."
+
+
+AT THE FOOT O' BENNACHIE.
+
+I have on several occasions, during the last year or two, visited that
+part of Aberdeenshire which is immediately under the glorious ridge of
+Bennachie. Like all lovers of ballad lore, I know by heart the poem of
+the little wee man who had such prowess, and who invited the poet to go
+with him to his green bower. After seeing magnificent examples of
+dancing, the poet found himself lying in the mist at the foot of
+Bennachie:--
+
+ "Out went the lichts, on cam' the mist,
+ Leddies nor mannie mair could I see;
+ I turned aboot, and gave a look,
+ I was just at the foot o' Bennachie."
+
+The exquisite little ballad from which I quote is calculated to raise
+expectations of beauty which the picturesque surroundings of Bennachie
+are well able to satisfy. Great tracts of Aberdeenshire are flat,
+treeless, and painful in their monotony; in winter, great gusts sweep
+the cold plains, and make driving or walking a trying ordeal; the
+country is thinly peopled, and the impression of the visitor is that, in
+some districts, railway stations are more numerous than villages. Round
+Bennachie, however, the scenery is most pleasant and picturesque. The
+villages of Oyne and Insch, in which hospitality to strangers is a
+religion, are beautifully placed and well-foliaged all around. The
+region is, indeed, one of romance, and the little brook of Gadie ripples
+on in the radiance and glamour of pathetic song.
+
+
+HARLAW.
+
+Those who consider, like Ruskin, that the stories of the past add no
+inconsiderable item to the beauty of a landscape, as it appears to the
+eye and intelligence of modern observers, will not fail to remember the
+momentous issues decided at no great distance from the foot of
+Bennachie, in 1411. Teutonic and Celtic Scotland came to grips at
+Harlaw, near by:--
+
+ "The Hielandmen, wi' their lang swords,
+ They laid on us fu' sair;
+ And they drave back our merry men
+ Three acres' breadth and mair.
+
+ . . . . . . . . . .
+
+ Gin anybody speer at ye
+ For them we took awa',
+ Ye may tell them plain and very plain,
+ They're sleeping at Harlaw."
+
+Burton, in his _History of Scotland_, declares that the check given to
+Donald of the Isles at Harlaw, was a greater relief to Scotland than
+even Bannockburn was. If the Stuart kings, hard pressed as they were by
+England on the south, had been threatened by a formidable Celtic
+sovereignty on the north, Holyrood might have been in ruins a good many
+centuries earlier. I am not going to shock my Highland friends by saying
+it was a good thing for the country that Donald, with the remnant of his
+plaids and claymores, had to retreat to the misty straths and islands of
+the west. The coalition of Celt and Teuton has taken place in an
+unostentatious way, to the advantage of both races: Macfadyen does not
+now, as in the days of Dunbar, bide "_far norrart in a neuk_;" he has
+come to the Lowlands long ago, and rarely goes North, except on holiday.
+And the language, which to the finical ears of James Fourth's
+poet-laureate, seemed too terrible even for the devil to tolerate, has
+come south, too, and has a chair all to itself in the University of
+Edinburgh. _Time_, says Sophocles, _is a god who performs difficult
+things with ease_.
+
+Mention of Harlaw suggests a comic tale told to the credit of the
+Provost of Inverness. That gentleman, on being threatened with a
+predatory visit from Donald in 1400, took the remarkable plan of sending
+an ample supply of Inverness whisky into the Celtic camp. The men of
+Lewis and Skye tackled the liquid bounty with great glee, and soon were
+in a state of maudlin intoxication. The wily Provost meanwhile collected
+a force and attacked Donald's men, who (as they magnified the attacking
+host to _double its real numbers_) were easily scared and routed. At
+Harlaw, eleven years later, the Provost of Aberdeen, evidently a man who
+lacked the resource of the chief magistrate of Inverness, was killed,
+and 500 men with him.
+
+
+LOCHABER REIVERS.
+
+The predatory habits of the Highlanders gave great trouble to the
+Aberdeenshire farmers _for fully three hundred years after Harlaw_. In
+1689 a dozen wild Lochaber men came right down into the heart of
+Aberdeenshire and lifted six score of black cattle. The fate of the
+marauders is thus described by the author of _Johnny Gibb_:--
+
+"They were pursued by a body of nearly 50 horsemen, well mounted and
+armed, and each carrying bags of meal and other provisions, both for
+their own support, and to offer in ransom for the cattle, if peaceful
+negotiations could be carried through. On through the hills, over
+marshes, rocks, and heather, the spirited horsemen followed, under
+their leader; and guided by a herd-boy whom they encountered, they
+traced the robbers by Loch Ericht side into the heart of their own
+country. At nightfall, they came upon them at Dalunchart, encamped and
+busily engaged roasting a portion of the flesh of one of the cattle they
+had stolen. They offered, after some parley, to give each of the
+freebooters a bag of meal and a pair of shoes in ransom for the cattle.
+The Highlanders treated such an offer for cattle driven so far and with
+so much trouble with contempt; the herd was gathered in, and the fight
+began in deep earnest, the result being that the Lochaber men were all
+shot down, killed or wounded, except three, who escaped unhurt to tell
+the tale; and the cattle were, of course, recovered."
+
+
+REAY AND TWICKENHAM.
+
+Perhaps the least attractive of the Scotch counties, in respect of
+scenery, is Caithness. The North-going train enters it a little after
+Helmsdale, and from thence to Thurso the journey is of a most dreary and
+depressing character. He who wishes to see the romantic part of the
+county should quit the train at Helmsdale, and go right to John o'
+Groats by the shore road: thereafter he should proceed along the line of
+the Pentland Firth to the dainty town of Thurso and to the village of
+Reay, the citadel of the Mackays. The district round Reay is a
+delightful one, and has great historical interest.
+
+Some good examples of the power assumed of old by the country ministers
+are furnished by a perusal of the life of an eighteenth century
+minister, the Rev. Alexander Pope, who was stationed for many years in
+Reay. He was a huge giant of a man, and invariably carried about with
+him a nail-studded cudgel that was a terror to sinners. A lout of a
+fellow in his parish refused to come to church and get rebuked for an
+infringement of the usual commandment. Mr. Pope sent three elders with
+ropes to pinion the adulterer, hale him to church, and fasten him to a
+conspicuous pew right under the pulpit. The minister cannonaded the
+culprit to his heart's content, beginning thus: "_Shame, shame, son of a
+beggar, where art thou now?_"
+
+Another parishioner who neglected family worship on the ground that he
+could not make up a prayer, was severely taken to task by Mr. Pope, who
+gave the man a year within which to manufacture one. At the end of the
+twelvemonth, Mr. Pope called and requested to hear the prayer. The man
+glibly rattled off a long succession of phrases that did not please the
+minister at all. "That won't do," he said, "you must prepare over
+again." "And is all my long labour to go for nothing," said the man,
+"all my year's toil? No, no: rather than lose my labour, I'll _break the
+prayer up and make two graces of it_." For the rest of his life, as the
+story runs, he did actually employ the two parts of his mutilated prayer
+as Grace before and Grace after meat respectively. Could there be a
+finer example of natural thrift in the spiritual world?
+
+An Inverness journalist, Mr. Carruthers, wrote a life of the great poet,
+Alexander Pope, in which occurs the following curious note respecting
+the minister of Reay, just mentioned: "The northern Alexander Pope
+entertained a profound admiration for his illustrious namesake of
+England; and it is a curious and well-ascertained fact that the simple
+enthusiastic clergyman, in the summer of 1732, rode on his pony all the
+way from Caithness to Twickenham, in order to pay the poet a visit. The
+latter felt his dignity a little touched by the want of the necessary
+pomp and circumstance with which the minister presumed to approach his
+domicile; but after the ice of ceremony had in some degree been broken,
+and their intellects had come in contact, the poet became interested,
+and a friendly feeling was established between them. Several interviews
+took place, and the poet presented his good friend and namesake, the
+minister of Reay, with a copy of the subscription edition of the
+'Odyssey' in five volumes quarto."
+
+A grandson of the Reay minister, a Mr. James Campbell of Edinburgh, gave
+a description to Mr. Carruthers of a snuff-box which the poet had
+presented to the Rev. Mr. Pope. A series of letters to the _Northern
+Ensign_, in April, 1883, brought out the information that a Wick
+gentleman, Mr. Duncan, had in his possession two volumes of de Vertot's
+_History of the Roman Republic_, bearing an inscription to the effect
+that they had been presented by the poet of Twickenham to his northern
+namesake.
+
+It has been suggested that the poet and the minister were distant
+blood-relations. Mr. Campbell, alluded to above, said that "the two
+Popes claimed kin." In any case, the friendship of the two men, one
+living on the shores of the wild Pentland Firth, in sight of the
+Orkneys, and the other not far "from streaming London's central roar,"
+is pleasant to think of. In 1737, Pope wrote the lines--
+
+ "Loud as the wolves on Orca's stormy steep
+ Howl to the roarings of the northern deep,"
+
+adding, in a note, that he refers to "the farthest northern promontory
+of Scotland, opposite to the Orcades." Perhaps his mind reverted to the
+burly incumbent of Reay as he penned the note.
+
+
+ROB DONN.
+
+The little township of Reay is less famous for the Rev. Mr. Pope's
+incumbency than for the fact of Rob Donn, the satirical Gaelic bard,
+being a native of the district. The author of the _Dunciad_ is the
+greatest satirist in British Literature; Rob Donn is supreme among
+Gaelic bards for the sharpness of his tongue and his clever way of
+showing up his contemporaries to ridicule. He was in the habit of giving
+praise to people in order to make his satire more biting. Praise on his
+tongue was compared to oil on the edge of a razor: the cut was all the
+deeper. Rob, although a master of language, was unable to read or write,
+so that though he "lisped in numbers"--he began to compose at the age of
+three--he could not say, like Pope:
+
+ "Why did I _write_? What sin to me unknown
+ _Dipt me in ink_, my parents' or my own?"
+
+Blackie speaks thus of him: "Rob Donn, according to all accounts, though
+outwardly of such fair respectability that he attained an honour,
+unknown to Robert Burns, of acting as an elder of the kirk, was not
+always so chaste in his words as he might seem to be in his deeds; he
+took his plash as a poet, and not always in the clearest waters;
+besides, he had a terrible lash at his command, which he could wield
+with an effect at times that paid little respect to the bounds set in
+such matters by Christian charity, or even by social politeness. The
+consequence has been that much of the wit and humour of his pieces,
+however telling for its immediate purpose, has lost half of its interest
+by the disappearance of the persons to whom it referred. These personal
+allusions also import an additional difficulty into the language which
+he uses, and cause his productions, however belauded, to be less known
+amongst Highlanders generally than those of Duncan Ban and Dugald
+Buchanan. Severe moralists also very properly object to the undue
+license and occasional coarseness of his verses."[33]
+
+ [33] Rob was at one time in the army, for every Mackay has the
+ fighting instinct in him. (Reay is one of the few townships in
+ the North that possess a drill-hall and a military instructor. It
+ is impossible adequately to describe the consternation in the
+ Mackay country at the time of our South African reverses.
+ Everyone was in a fury and it was felt there was urgent need for
+ the Mackays to straighten out matters at the seat of war. It was
+ at this time that the drill-hall was built in Reay. Many of the
+ young men went to the front as volunteers, and if the war had
+ lasted much longer, there would have been few Mackays left in
+ Sutherlandshire.)
+
+
+REV. MR. MILL OF DUNROSSNESS.
+
+Before concluding the present chapter, I should like to refer briefly to
+a valuable and amusing book (brought under my notice in Shetland) that
+furnishes details of the life of Mr. Mill, minister of Dunrossness from
+1742 till 1805. Mr. Mill's special talent was his unrivalled power of
+exorcism: he was a strenuous foe to the devil in every shape and form,
+and his life was one long battle with the Prince of Darkness. The latter
+was constantly bringing into play all manner of gins, traps, and wiles
+to confound the uncompromising clergyman; but, on a calm review of the
+evidence, one cannot but admit that the devil was far inferior in
+intelligence to his opponent.
+
+On one occasion, Satan had the effrontery to come into Dunrossness
+Church and take his seat at the Communion Table. Mr. Mill at once
+recognised his life-long adversary, and began to speak in all the deep
+languages, and, last of all, in Gaelic, and that beat him altogether.
+Satan went off like a flock of "doos" over the heads of the people, many
+of whom swooned. "As a permanent reminder of the hostility cherished
+against him by the Arch-Enemy, it was said that Mr. Mill always had the
+wind in his face. One day he came up to officiate at Sandwick, in the
+teeth, as usual, of a pretty stiff breeze. An ordinary person would
+naturally have expected the wind to be on his back on the return
+journey. But during the service the wind veered round. Mr. Mill's only
+comment, as he started for home, was, 'It's all he can do.' In one
+respect, Mr. Mill benefited by the penalty of always having the wind in
+his face, for on his very numerous sea-journeys he could always secure
+a favourable breeze _by sitting with his back to the head of the boat_."
+
+The following additional tale from Mr. Mill's biography only brings into
+more striking relief the resource of the minister in all emergencies.
+"One day a very respectable gentleman entered the house of a tailor in
+Channerwick, and ordered a suit of clothes to be made out of cloth which
+he brought with him. The tailor's delight at having such a fine
+gentleman for a customer was, however, turned into perplexity and fear
+as he opened up the cloth and found that the colour kept constantly
+changing. He at once sent for the minister and laid the matter before
+him. He was advised to spread a sheet on the floor and cut the cloth
+upon it, so that none of the clippings should be scattered about the
+room, and the minister said that he would be present to meet the
+stranger when the latter called to get the clothes. The day came, and
+when the stranger entered the house, Mr. Mill stepped forward to meet
+him. A terrible controversy ensued, and the respectable-looking
+gentleman was swept out of the house in a cloud of blue, sulphurous
+flame. It is not recorded if he took the new suit with him. A clue to
+his identification was furnished by his accidentally striking his foot
+against the door-step as he departed. The result of the collision was
+that a mark as of a cloven hoof was imprinted on the stone."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+METRICAL AND SUPPLEMENTARY.
+
+ I. Arrival of the Mail-train at a Highland Station.
+ II. Defoe, the Father of Journalism.
+ III. A Village Toper.
+ IV. A Reverend Hellenist.
+ V. Antigone.
+ VI. Shadows of the Manse.
+ VII. "My Heart's in the Highlands."
+ VIII. Saddell, Kintyre.
+ IX. Springtime in Perthshire.
+ X. Dr. George Macdonald's Creed.
+ XI. Abbotsford.
+ XII. Carlyle.
+ XIII. Shelley.
+ XIV. Picture in an Inn.
+ XV. Rain-storm at Loch Awe.
+ XVI. Kinlochewe.
+ XVII. General Wade.
+ XVIII. Sound of Raasay in December.
+ XIX. Les Neiges d' Antan.
+ XX. The Islands of the Ness.
+ XXI. American Tourist Loquitur.
+ XXII. The Miners.
+ XXIII. In a Country Graveyard.
+ XXIV. No Place like Home.
+
+
+I.
+
+ARRIVAL OF THE MAIL-TRAIN AT A HIGHLAND STATION.
+
+ "_Hark! 'tis the twanging horn._" So Cowper sang
+ Of the slow post-boy by the flooded Ouse;
+ In different fashion now the great world's news
+ Goes to each nook of Britain. The harangue
+ Of politician; great events that hang
+ In Fortune's hand, with magic speed diffuse
+ From London's centre to the furthest Lews,
+ Their tingling rumour and resounding clang.
+ Daily along yon track of curving steels
+ Comes to this Highland clachan, Watt's machine,
+ Rolling in triumph on its iron wheels,
+ And bringing letter, journal, magazine,
+ To kilted Celts with collies at their heels
+ And frivolous tourists from the putting-green.
+
+
+II.
+
+DEFOE[34]
+
+(FATHER OF JOURNALISM).
+
+ Father of journalists! illustrious liar!
+ Untiring wielder of the nimblest quill
+ That ever shed the stanchless inky rill
+ Upon the virgin whiteness of the quire.
+ What full and varied stores of gold and mire,
+ Magnificence and squalor, good and ill,
+ Prayers, curses, loyalty and treason fill
+ Thy books! But that which children most admire
+ Of all thy hundred volumes, is the one
+ Fated for ever more to charm mankind
+ From the far Orient to the Setting Sun.
+ Prompt-witted Daniel! thou has left behind
+ Upon the Sands of Time, distinctly traced,
+ One footmark that can never be effaced.
+
+ [34] Let me here pay a tribute to the marked excellence and
+ literary skill of the newspapers of provincial Scotland. These
+ are very numerous--even Ailsa Craig has a sheet of its own, _The
+ Ailsa Craig Banner_.
+
+
+III.
+
+A VILLAGE TOPER.
+
+ John loved strong waters and ne'er stirred his feet
+ Abroad in leafy spring or summer's heat,
+ Autumnal breeze or winter's rimy chill,
+ Unsolaced by the nectar of the still.
+ Spirits came always kindly to his lips,
+ And time he measured not by hours but "nips."
+ Teetotalers to him were curse and gall,
+ Grim Banquos at the world's wide festival,
+ Men, whom a weird and fate-ordainéd bale,
+ Had smitten with the hate of cakes and ale,
+ A soda-water, syphon-squirting crew,
+ Guilty of treason to the revenue:
+ Their lurid language and their unctuous warnings,
+ Their moral-pointings and their tale-adornings,
+ And, worst of all, their shameful _waste of ink_
+ In signing pledges to abstain from drink,
+ Proved them a witless and a churlish band,
+ Unfit to dwell in any Christian land.
+
+
+IV.
+
+A REVEREND HELLENIST.
+
+ In that old ivied manse exists
+ A scholar, wrinkled, bent, and gray,
+ His student lamp gleams through the mists
+ And twinkles on till break of day.
+
+ This sage is wedded to his books,
+ And Sultan-like his harem's full,
+ He dotes upon them in their nooks
+ With love and joy that never cool.
+
+ No wonder that his back is bent,
+ Or that his eye has mystic glows,
+ He pores on pages redolent
+ Of love and love's undying rose.
+
+ No earthly maiden, fresh and sweet,
+ Could please his fancy half so well
+ As a Greek nymph with twinkling feet
+ Skipping in some Arcadian dell.
+
+
+V.
+
+ANTIGONE
+
+(READ IN A HIGHLAND MANSE).
+
+ A form of beauty blent with hardihood,
+ Majestic as Olympus wreathed in snows,
+ What modern pages of romance disclose
+ A radiant maiden of such dauntless mood!
+ Yet, when the tyrant strives with outrage rude
+ The unyielding maid in darkness to enclose,
+ Then, only then, her burning heart outflows
+ In anguished cries of love, but unsubdued
+ By baser throbbings. Ah! that nuptial hymn
+ Unsung! that bond in death! All men agree
+ To crown thee in that chamber dark and dim
+ With love's immortal wreath, Antigoné.
+ Since love and duty in thy death combine,
+ An immortality of praise is thine.
+
+
+VI.
+
+SHADOWS OF THE MANSE.
+
+I.
+
+ Lo! we have him of shaven face
+ And curls of long and lustrous hair,
+ Who breathes an atmosphere of grace
+ And has a wondrous gift in prayer.
+ You'd ne'er suspect to see him there,
+ Shaking his head in solemn guise,
+ _The college life of deil-may-care
+ Diversion that behind him lies_.
+
+
+II.
+
+ And then the little starveling pope
+ Who strives to make his sermons new
+ By stringing florid scraps of hope
+ And faith and love to dazzle you:
+ From Stopford Brooke a phrase or two,
+ A gleaming line from Arnold's page,
+ Whole screeds of Browning and a few
+ Stolen thunders from the Chelsea sage.
+
+
+III.
+
+ Perhaps the most diverting wight
+ Is he who sees in Holy Writ
+ Old Jewish fables gross and trite
+ To semblance of a system knit--
+ Fables for modern taste unfit,
+ Until _he_ cleans the dross away
+ And shows the tiny little bit
+ Of gold that gleams amid the clay.
+
+
+IV.
+
+ But worst of all is he who jests,
+ Or tries to jest, in pulpit gown,
+ Lord, save us from such holy pests
+ Who so unseemly act the clown
+ And pull the tabernacle down
+ To something worse than pantomime:
+ On all such zanies let us frown
+ And scourge them both in prose and rhyme.
+
+
+VII.
+
+"MY HEART'S IN THE HIGHLANDS."
+
+ Puzzling over musty tomes,
+ What a life to lead,
+ While each gay companion roams
+ Where his fancies lead!
+
+ One beside a shady pool
+ Sweeps the wave for hours,
+ Comes home with his basket full,
+ When the evening lowers.
+
+ Some more energetic wights
+ Leave the level land,
+ Mountaineer on dizzy heights,
+ Alpenstock in hand.
+
+ Others boat in sunny bays
+ Where bright sands are seen
+ Glimmering amid a maze
+ Of tangled flowers marine.
+
+ Luck to all is what I wish
+ With a meed of fun,
+ I'll row, mountaineer, and fish,
+ When _your_ sports are done.
+
+
+VIII.
+
+SADDELL
+
+(KINTYRE).
+
+ Fresh gusts of wind ripple the ocean's face,
+ And the green slopes, after the night's soft rain,
+ Glitter beneath the blue.
+
+ Most glorious are the sea-descending glens,
+ Vivid with countless ferns, and with the blaze
+ Of sun-enamoured broom.
+
+ The dark, tip-tilted rocks of cruel mood,
+ Show a stern beauty through the creamy foam
+ That flecks their rugged flanks.
+
+ See, from this hill-top, how the blazing Sound
+ Is marked by moving shadows of the clouds
+ That skim aloft in air.
+
+ Through the clear radiance of the freshened morn,
+ The eye can see the far farm-windows gleam
+ Up on the Arran hills.
+
+
+IX.
+
+SPRINGTIME IN PERTHSHIRE.
+
+ Returning Springtime fills the woods with song--
+ The ring-dove, sick for love, is cooing sweet;
+ The lark, scorning the daisies, soars to greet
+ The sun, while the brown swarms of bees among
+ The flowery meadows skim in haste along.
+ Once more the young year glories in the feat
+ Of driving winter off with vernal heat
+ And tepid sap luxuriantly strong.
+ Winter has drawn aloof his snowy powers
+ To the high peaks that domineer the plain,
+ And, like a vanquished leader, grimly lowers,
+ From a safe distance, on the victor's reign.
+ E'er many months have passed, his arrowy showers
+ And gusty cohorts will descend again.
+
+
+X.
+
+DR. GEORGE MACDONALD'S CREED[35]
+
+(WRITTEN AT CULLEN).
+
+ God will not suffer that a single one
+ Of His own creatures, in His image made,
+ Should die, and in irrevocable shade
+ Lie evermore--neglected and undone.
+ It is not thus a father treats his son,
+ And those whose folly credits it, degrade
+ God's love and fatherhood, that never fade,
+ By lies as base as devils ever spun.
+ Man's love is but a pale reflex of God's,
+ And God _is_ love, and never will condemn
+ Beyond remission--though He school with rods--
+ His children, but will one day comfort them.
+ Dives will have his drink at last, and stand
+ Among the faithful ones at God's right hand.
+
+ [35] Reprinted (by kind permission) from the _Scotsman_.
+
+
+XI.
+
+ABBOTSFORD.
+
+ "Dryden and Scott, men of a giant seed!"
+ So said I to myself, gazing upon
+ The pictured countenance of Glorious John,
+ In Abbotsford, hard by the storied Tweed.
+ These twain were brothers, kin in mind and deed:
+ Old England never had a brawnier son
+ Than Dryden; and in fervid Scotland none
+ Better than Scott exemplified the breed.
+ After five centuries of blood and hate,
+ Britain is one leal land from north to south,
+ From gusty Thurso to St. Michael's Mount,
+ I therefore, Scot and Briton, am elate
+ To think that from Sir Walter's golden mouth
+ Dryden's career received the fit account.
+
+
+XII.
+
+CARLYLE
+
+(AT ECCLEFECHAN).
+
+ The ploughman in the loamy furrow sings,
+ The sailor whistles as he reefs the sail,
+ Blithe is the smith as the blows fall like hail
+ From his huge hammer, and the stithy rings.
+ Work is the sole and sovereign balm that brings
+ Peace to the torpid soul when doubts assail,
+ And sickening pleasures are of no avail
+ To lull the torture of affliction's stings.
+ Give me the work I love, the work I feel
+ God in His Heaven has willed that I should do,
+ And you may offer the whole commonweal,
+ Lands, mansions, jewels, gold, and temples too,
+ Vainly to me. By strenuous work alone
+ Man mounts on Jacob's ladder to God's throne.
+
+
+XIII.
+
+SHELLEY.[36]
+
+ 'Twas but a passing visit that he paid
+ To the gross air of earth, this mystic seer,
+ The tyrannies of sense were too severe
+ For one of clay more fine than Adam's made.
+ The inhumanity of man, the trade
+ Of coining gold from the serf's groan and tear,
+ The galling fetters of religious fear,
+ And vain ecclesiastic masquerade
+ Tortured his gentle soul, and made his life
+ One bitter struggle with the powers that be:
+ Yet not in vain he lived; his manful strife
+ With all the deadening despotisms we see
+ Will ring along the centuries, until
+ Good has her final triumph over ill.
+
+ [36] Suggested by a copy of his poems in a West Highland
+ bookcase.
+
+
+XIV.
+
+PICTURE IN AN INN.
+
+ A wood of pines through which the setting sun
+ Pours from the western sky a parting flame,
+ Beside the shore, a church called by the name
+ Of some old saint whose pious race was run
+ Long ere schismatic Luther had begun
+ To work the Pope and his disciples shame.
+ In earnest-seeming talk, a knight and dame
+ Sit in a painted galley, rowed by one
+ Whose back is to the setting orb of day.
+ The soldier and his mate, their faces lit
+ With all love's animation and the ray
+ Of the down-lapsing globe of crimson, sit
+ Together in the gilded vessel's prow,
+ And there will sit for evermore, as now.
+
+
+XV.
+
+RAIN-STORM AT LOCH AWE.
+
+ The topmost mountain-snows are melting fast,
+ See, how the swollen waters hurry down
+ In perpendicular runnels from the crown
+ Of every wreathéd hill. The train has past
+ Beside a dark stream into which are cast
+ A hundred huddling rills whose foam is brown
+ With pilfered soil. No dweller in a town
+ Ever beheld such manifold and vast
+ Torrents of roaring water. Each small isle
+ Spaced on the loch, glooms through the hanging haze
+ Like a dream-picture, and for many a mile
+ Beneath those clouds that lean upon the braes
+ Encompassing Loch Awe, the watery plain
+ Is pricked with million lances of the rain.
+
+
+XVI.
+
+KINLOCHEWE.
+
+ The mist, retreating, gems the leaves with dew,
+ Soft blows the breeze along the fragrant meads,
+ A little brawling burn runs through the reeds
+ And ripples away under the cloudless blue.
+ I never saw the world so fair to view,
+ For Spring has riven old Winter's funeral weeds
+ And given new sap and vigour to the seeds
+ That lay inanimate the cold months through.
+ Old man! with jaded limbs and wrinkled brow,
+ That walkest feebly in this lenient sun
+ Like a day-dream, thy life is winter now.
+ But life and death in ceaseless cycles run,
+ And tireless Time and Heaven have in store
+ For thee a myriad resurrections more.
+
+
+XVII.
+
+GENERAL WADE.
+
+ Houses are fewer here than milestones are:
+ We stand a thousand feet aloft in air
+ Upon a bouldered hillside stern and bare,
+ Down which the roadway serpentines afar.
+ There are no clouds in the wide blue to mar
+ The passage of the sun's imperial glare
+ Over a dreary-stretching landscape, where
+ Rough winds hold riot all the calendar.
+ Who that has footed o'er these firm-knit paths
+ But lauds the men whose strenuous axe and spade
+ Drove roads through the wild glens and hilly straths
+ Under the generalship of tireless Wade!
+ On the safe tracks behind them, commerce came
+ The unruly spirit of the Celt to tame.
+
+
+XVIII.
+
+THE SOUND OF RAASAY IN DECEMBER.
+
+ A snowy gust is whirling down the strait,
+ Raasay is gleaming ghostly to the sight,
+ And, robed in lawn, from sea to topmost height
+ Skye and her lordly mountains stand in state.
+ Ever from heaven falls the silent weight
+ Of wavering flakes that dim the stars of night.
+ Our gallant little boat with all the might
+ Of the wild-hissing surges holds debate,
+ Plunging and struggling, till at last we see
+ A spacious haven, sudden and serene
+ And, high aloft, the twinkle of Portree.
+ At once the winds are hushed, the moon is seen
+ To free her face from cloudy drift, and fill
+ With silver light the clefts of Essie Hill.
+
+
+XIX.
+
+LES NEIGES D'ANTAN.
+
+I.
+
+ Where is Macfee, that valiant preacher,
+ Gifted with voice, so harsh and loud,
+ Aye, louder and harsher than any screecher
+ Of birds that sail on the black storm-cloud?
+ And his beadle John, with back so bowed,
+ Where is _he_ that had never a peer?
+ Is he too rolled in his mortal shroud?
+ But where are the snows of yester-year?
+
+II.
+
+ Donald the Gay, that steered his steamer
+ Many a year through the Sound of Mull,
+ He that was never a Celtic dreamer,
+ But a captain of captains masterful:
+ O Death, thou madest the world more dull
+ When you nailed _him_ down in his narrow bier,
+ And sent his ghost into Charon's hull;
+ But where are the snows of yester-year?
+
+III.
+
+ Duncan, the bard of rocky Staffin,
+ Away in the north of rainy Skye:
+ Has _he_ given over his rimes and daffin',
+ In the mould of the bleak kirkyard to lie?
+ His cot was built where the sea-gulls fly,
+ And his misty isle to his soul was dear;
+ Ere his song is finished, the bard must die;
+ But where are the snows of yester-year?
+
+IV.
+
+ And Dougal, who carried King Edward's mails
+ Every day o'er the moor and heather,
+ Scorning the chill of the winter gales,
+ And the ten-mile walk in the sultry weather:
+ Has _he_ too come to the end of his tether
+ And gone to the ghosts with all his gear,
+ His whistle, his satchel and strap of leather?
+ But where are the snows of yester-year?
+
+V.
+
+ Prince, they have gone from the regions that knew them,
+ Gone at the summons that none can resist,
+ Praise and every honour be to them,
+ They did their best and they will be missed.
+ We, too, shall soon be erased from the list
+ Of workers below in this mortal sphere,
+ And be no more to those that exist
+ Than the vanished snows of yester-year.
+
+
+XX.
+
+THE ISLANDS OF THE NESS.
+
+ A fairyland of trees and leafy bowers
+ Where one may sit and dream the hours away,
+ Or 'mid the devious walks and alleys stray,
+ While perfume rises from a world of flowers,
+ The girdling river, swollen with upland showers,
+ Sends rippling round to every creek and bay
+ The vagrant branches of his water-way;
+ Then gathering up his current's parted powers,
+ Swiftly-majestic in a broadening bed,
+ He glistens on by many a chiming spire,
+ And past the castle's pennoned turrets red,
+ Till he attain the goal of his desire,
+ And into the salt sea exulting throws
+ His subsidy of rains and melted snows.
+
+
+XXI.
+
+AMERICAN TOURIST LOQUITUR
+
+(AT BERRIEDALE, CAITHNESS).
+
+ If I had wealth like Vanderbilt
+ Or some such millionaire,
+ I'd live in Scotland, don a kilt,
+ And _pay to prove_ my forbears spilt
+ Their blood in forays there.
+
+ I'd buy a picturesque estate
+ Beside the ocean's flow,
+ With knolls of heather at my gate,
+ And pine-clad hills to dominate,
+ The ferny dells below.
+
+ I'd be a father to the folk
+ That laboured on the soil,
+ With old and young I'd crack my joke,
+ Drink with them in their thirst, and smoke
+ The pipe that lightens toil.
+
+ For hens I'd have a special run,
+ For ducks a special pool,
+ My calves should frolic in the sun,
+ My sheep should be surpassed by none
+ Whose backs are clothed with wool.
+
+ Although I'm not a Walton quite,
+ Betweenwhiles I should try
+ To lure the finny tribe to bite
+ (At the right time, in the right light,)
+ My simulated fly.
+
+ When winter heaped his rattling hail
+ High on the window sill,
+ With pipe and wassail, rime and tale,
+ I'd never miss the nightingale
+ Or cuckoo on the hill.
+
+ Nay, musing by the ingle-lowe
+ With summer in my brain,
+ I'd cloth with leaves the frozen bough
+ And all the ice-bound brooks endow
+ With tinkling life again.[37]
+
+ [37] Berriedale, which moved the American to commemorative song,
+ is on the Caithness shore, and there the Duke of Portland has
+ one of his numerous residences. The Duke's seat is high up on
+ the hills and behind it is a mountain of grim aspect which
+ serves for a deer-forest. At Berriedale, the road traversed by
+ the coach is simply appalling: boards marked _Dangerous_
+ forewarn all wheel-men that risks cannot be taken with impunity.
+ An honest descent can be easily coped with, but here the road to
+ the glen is not merely steep, it is as lacking in
+ straightforwardness as the links of Forth. Once down at the
+ level of the village, the breeze no longer blows fresh and
+ chilly, but subsides into a quiet air, grateful with the odour
+ of flowers. Passengers are requested to walk up the
+ corresponding hill to a level equal to the height of the road
+ before the interruption of the terrible Berriedale chasm. When
+ the ascent is reached, one has a view of unsurpassed splendour.
+ The wooded Wye, which Wordsworth sang so rapturously and which
+ he saw with his mind's eye in the dinsome town, has no landscape
+ to compare in grandeur and beauty with the country round
+ Berriedale, viewed from this eminence. Hills of richest green,
+ diversified with purple heather; a back-ground of wild bog and
+ mountain; blue sea; and great banks of cloud shepherded over the
+ heights by the mighty winds.
+
+
+XXII.
+
+THE MINERS.
+
+ The afternoon is cool and calm,
+ Near by flashes the mighty sea,
+ Inland rise green, dewy hills,
+ Crowned with eye-bewitching trees.
+
+ Suddenly the eye is amazed and terrified,
+ A hideous procession sordid and grimy
+ Of men and boys, slaves of the coal-pit,
+ Is seen on the road, shaming the daylight.
+
+ All the day long they work in the darkness,
+ Far from the songs of the birds and the sunshine,
+ Now they return to their sordid villages,
+ Ill-smelling rows of comfortless cottages.
+
+ The rich and dainty ladies of fashion
+ Stand aloof from these swart coal-hewers,
+ Are ready to swoon as the air is poisoned
+ With odours of subterranean foulness.
+
+ Coarse of look, and of speech far coarser!
+ Laughter loud with no merriment in it!
+ No more soul than the beasts that perish!
+ These are the men despised for their toiling.
+
+
+XXIII.
+
+IN A COUNTRY GRAVEYARD.[38]
+
+ Man dreads the tomb, but dreads oblivion more;
+ He fears, when death has loosed the load of years,
+ His name shall cease to sound in mortal ears,
+ And, in the dusty darkness, all be o'er.
+ Some o'er the scrolls of ample science pore,
+ Tome after tome the nimble authors write,
+ And gain a meed of glory: soon the night
+ Comes: the author with his laurel disappears,
+ The painting fades, the marble busts decay,
+ The kingly structures fall in ruin down,
+ Devouring Time consumes the artist's prize,
+ The centuries like lightning pass away,
+ Or hurrying billows: emperor and clown
+ Sink with the myriads in impartial clay.
+
+ [38] Suggested by a French poem of Monsieur Desessarts, entitled
+ _Se Survivre_.
+
+
+XXIV.
+
+NO PLACE LIKE HOME.
+
+ Where'er these wandering footsteps lead me to,
+ Peak-dominated glen, hill where the sheep
+ Graze in the sun, mountains that ever keep
+ A solemn guard o'er lakes profound and blue,
+ Or undulating tracts of treeless view;
+ No matter if the rain and whirlwind sweep
+ The landscape, or the gladdening sunshine peep
+ Through muffled vapours that the winds undo;
+ Let it be night speckled with myriad fires,
+ Clear dawn, hot noon, or cool of dying day;
+ Be it in cities with their chiming spires,
+ Or country fields with fragrant ricks of hay;
+ Ever the voices of my hearth I hear,
+ And muse on those to me for ever dear.
+
+
+
+
+INDEX
+
+(Chiefly of Proper Names).
+
+
+Aberdeen, 217
+
+Acharacle, 21, 66
+
+Achnasheen, 11
+
+Ainsworth, Mr., 69
+
+Ajax, 89
+
+Aliens, 53
+
+Alness, 75
+
+Altnacealgach, 38
+
+Anacreon, 181
+
+Anglers, 36
+
+Anecdotes of Commercials, 255-277
+
+Appin, 311
+
+Ardeonaig, 78
+
+Ardersier, 42
+
+Argyll, Duke of, 25
+
+Arnisdale, 190
+
+Arnold, 130
+
+Arpafeelie, 158
+
+Asquith, Mr., 15
+
+Auldearn, 75
+
+Avebury, Lord, 198
+
+
+Bagpipes, 66
+
+Bain, Professor, 55
+
+Ballads, 99
+
+Banff theorist, 107
+
+Barrie, Mr., 66
+
+Battle of Brunanburh, 131
+
+Beauly, 75
+
+Ben Eay, 22
+
+Ben-na-Ceallich, 28
+
+Bennachie, 329
+
+Ben Screel, 191
+
+Ben Slioch, 22
+
+Beowulf, 131, 246
+
+Beveridge, Dr., 301
+
+Biggar, 98
+
+Biblia abiblia, 109
+
+Blackie, Professor, 19, 56
+
+Books, second-hand, 112
+
+Borders, 96, 99
+
+Boswell, 306, 313
+
+Brahan Seer, 291
+
+Bressay, 221, 229, 230, 233
+
+Broadford, 28, 55
+
+Browning, 306
+
+Buchanan, 61
+
+Bullers of Buchan, 220
+
+Burgess, Mr., 227
+
+Burke, 68
+
+Burns, 82, 144, 308
+
+Burton, 209
+
+
+Caithness father, a, 254
+
+Captains, 24
+
+Catholics, 153-155
+
+Chairmen, 85
+
+Chartists, 54
+
+Coll, 26, 69
+
+Columbus, 88
+
+Commercials (Chap. VI.), 255-277
+
+Competing School-subjects, 215
+
+Congested Districts Board, 34
+
+Connaught, H.R.H. Duke of, 42
+
+Connington, 119
+
+Corelli, Miss Marie, 44
+
+Cowper, 118
+
+Craignish, 168-9
+
+Crofters' cottages, 29-30
+
+Cromarty, 12
+
+Cullen, 47
+
+Cunningsburgh, 239
+
+
+Dancing, 21
+
+Dandie Dinmont, 99
+
+Defoe, 112
+
+Depopulation, 71, 189
+
+Dingwall, 44
+
+Dixon, Mr., 76, 278
+
+Doctors, 35
+
+Dodger, an artful, 173
+
+Dominies, insular, 180-1
+
+Dowden, Professor, 124
+
+Drimnin, 167
+
+Dryden, 118
+
+Dunbar, 218
+
+Dungeon lecture, a, 92
+
+Dunvegan, 28, 61, 292
+
+Durness, 11
+
+
+Educational (Chap. IV.), 180-216
+
+Education Department, 16, 141, 185
+
+Eigg, 26
+
+Emigration, 73-4
+
+Episcopalians, 156-8
+
+Essayists, 106
+
+Established Church, 145
+
+Ethical teaching, 141-3
+
+
+Fairies, 248, 285
+
+Fair Isle, 220, 250
+
+Faith Mission, 25
+
+Feeding the Hungry, 186, 194
+
+_Fernaig MS._, 197
+
+Fishing season, 253
+
+Fishwives, 249
+
+Fladibister, 239
+
+Fort George, 42
+
+Foulah, 250
+
+French Literature, 126
+
+Frere, Miss, 39, 40
+
+
+Gairloch, 278
+
+Gaelic, 17, 86
+
+Geologist, an ordained, 170
+
+Germany, made in, 218
+
+Gibbon, 300
+
+Gigha, 175
+
+Gipsies, 191
+
+Glasgow Fair, 96
+
+_Glasgow Herald_, quoted, 20, note
+
+Glenelg, 191
+
+Golspie, 192
+
+Grange, 299
+
+Grantown, 13
+
+Greatness, real, 81
+
+Greek, 124
+
+
+Haaf-words, 246
+
+Halsbury, Lord, 235
+
+Harlaw, 330
+
+Harris, 39
+
+Hector, Red, 320
+
+Hermits, 223
+
+Hobbes, 106
+
+Holyoake, Mr., 60
+
+Homer, 62
+
+Horace, 12, 115
+
+Hotels, 36
+
+Howlers, 209-214
+
+
+Inspectors, 252
+
+Inveraray, 307
+
+Inverness, 48, 58
+
+Iona, 309
+
+Islay, 79
+
+Isle Ornsay, 191
+
+
+Jakobsen, Dr., 245
+
+Jamieson, Dr., 103
+
+Johnson, 29, 43, 294, 306
+
+Josephus, 111
+
+Jura, 195
+
+
+Killin, 78
+
+Kilmartin, 76
+
+Kiltarlity, 75
+
+Kingussie, 326
+
+Kinlochewe, 22
+
+
+Lanark, 97
+
+Lang, Mr. Andrew, 17, 37
+
+Latin, 204
+
+Lerwick, 221-2
+
+Letter-boats, 299
+
+Lewis, 32, 33
+
+Libraries in schools, 16
+
+Liddesdale, 99
+
+Literature, 83
+
+Lochaber, 332
+
+Lochaline, 168
+
+Lochbuie, 304
+
+Loch Broom, 286
+
+Loch Eck, 79
+
+Loch Fyne, 317
+
+Loch Hourn, 190
+
+Lochmaddy, 36, 40
+
+Loch Maree, 283
+
+Loch Ranza, 196
+
+Loubet, M., 118
+
+
+Mallaig, 32
+
+Mary, the maid of the inn, 258
+
+Martin, Sir Theodore, 119
+
+_Men of Skye_, 150
+
+Military, 42
+
+Mill, Rev. Mr., 338-9
+
+Miller, an ordained, 172
+
+Milton, 154
+
+Miners, 49, 51, 52
+
+Mod, the, 18
+
+Model minister, a, 170
+
+Moderates, the, 144-5
+
+Moon, the, 77
+
+M.P.'s, 69
+
+Moray Firth, 46
+
+Morar, 154
+
+Morley, Lord, 118
+
+Muck, 267
+
+Munro, Dr. Neil, 44, 318
+
+Murray, Sir James, 103
+
+Music, 65-67, 141
+
+Macallisters, etc., 318
+
+Macbain, Dr., 58
+
+M'Cheyne, 90
+
+Macdonald, Dr. George, 48
+
+Macdonald's gratitude, 313
+
+Macdonald, Rev. Mr., 146
+
+M'Gregors, the, 91
+
+Macivors, 318
+
+Mackays, the, 337
+
+Macleod, 61
+
+
+Nicholson, Sheriff, 185
+
+_Night Thoughts_, 64
+
+Norse blood, 183, 225
+
+"North, Christopher," 107, 167
+
+
+Olaf and his bride, 279
+
+Old Parochials, 200
+
+Ossian, 326-339
+
+Ovid, 300
+
+
+Paisley, 89
+
+Parish Councils, 187
+
+Paul, St., 132
+
+Peat-reek, 29
+
+Peden, the prophet, 292
+
+Peterhead, 220
+
+Phillimore, Professor, 206, note
+
+Pigmentation, 133
+
+Plymouth Brethren, 162-5
+
+Poetry (Chap. VIII.), 340-367
+
+Policemen, 23
+
+Poolewe, 67, 76
+
+Pope, 115, 119, 123, 127-9
+
+Pope, Rev. Alexander, 334-6
+
+Portknockie, 47
+
+Portree, 27, 76
+
+Portsoy, 46, 47
+
+Postmen, 28
+
+Prince Charlie, 44
+
+
+Quarff, 234
+
+
+Raasay, 26
+
+Ramsay, Sir William, 207
+
+_Rasmie's Büdie_, 227
+
+Rats, 37
+
+Reay, 333-6
+
+"Red-riding Hood," 142
+
+Religious books, 18
+
+Rob Don, 337
+
+Robertson, Mr. J. M., 41
+
+"Rob Roy," 183
+
+Romance and Augustanism, 127
+
+Rosebery, Lord, 297
+
+Rosehearty, 49
+
+Rothes, 325
+
+Royal Engineers, 69
+
+Ruskin, 177
+
+Russian merchant, a, 254
+
+
+Sabbath, the, 148
+
+Saddell, 92
+
+St. Kilda, 297
+
+Salen, 90
+
+Sandwick, 246
+
+Saxon and Celt, 41, 131
+
+Scalloway, 62
+
+School Boards, 184
+
+Science and Literature, 198
+
+Scotch Dialect, 103
+
+Scott, 84, 107, 183, 199, 312, 315
+
+Sea-sickness, 31
+
+Sermons in metre, 159-161
+
+Session Records, 44
+
+Shakespeare's Sonnets, 119
+
+Shaws and Grants, 323
+
+Shetlands (Chap. V.), 217-254
+
+Sidlaws, 193
+
+Skye, 28, 61
+
+Sound of Sleat, 26
+
+Spencer, 229
+
+Spenser, 128
+
+Staffin, 66
+
+Stewart, Dugald, 208
+
+Stornoway, 32-4
+
+Strachur, 79
+
+Suetonius, 113
+
+Surprises, 195
+
+Sutherland, Duchess of, 33
+
+
+Taisch, 290
+
+Tarbolton, 102
+
+Tannahill, 54, 90
+
+Tea-drinking, 39
+
+Tee-names, 47
+
+Teeth, 40
+
+Tennyson, 130
+
+Tiree, 301
+
+"Tom Eunan," 322
+
+Trossachs, 315
+
+Truants, 196
+
+
+Ullapool, 290
+
+
+Village halls, 75
+
+Virgil, 24, 219
+
+
+Ward, Mrs. H., 182
+
+War Office, 45
+
+Wason, Mr. C., 250
+
+Watson, Mr. William, 118, 218
+
+Weaving, 53
+
+Weir, Mr. Galloway, 15, 70
+
+Whalsay, 193
+
+Whiting Bay, 197
+
+Wordsworth, 21, 128, 309
+
+
+Xenophon, 122
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ Publisher & Bookseller
+ by
+ Special Appointment
+ To Her late Majesty
+ Queen Victoria.
+
+
+A LIST OF BOOKS
+PUBLISHED BY
+ALEX. GARDNER, PAISLEY.
+
+ _Aitken._--Love in Its Tenderness. By J. R. Aitken. 3s. 6d.
+
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+ Lewis Morison-Grant. By Jessie Annie Anderson. 4s. 6d.
+
+ _Anderson._--Verses at Random. By Thistle Anderson (Mrs. Herbert
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+
+ ---- Dives' Wife, and other Fragments. By Thistle Anderson (Mrs.
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+
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+
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+
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+
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+
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+ W. H. Carslaw, D.D. 2s. nett.
+
+ ---- Exiles of the Covenant. By Rev. W. H. Carslaw, D.D. 2s.
+ nett.
+
+ _Chalmers._--Chalmers' Caledonia. 25s. and 40s. per vol. Vol.
+ VIII.--the Index--sold separately, 15s. and 25s. nett.
+
+ _Cheviot._--Proverbs, Proverbial Expressions, and Popular Rhymes
+ of Scotland. By Andrew Cheviot. 6s. nett.
+
+ _"Claverhouse."_--Gretna Green and Its Traditions. By
+ "Claverhouse." 1s. nett.
+
+ _Craigie._--Scandinavian Folk Lore. By W. A. Craigie, M.A.,
+ F.S.A. 7s. 6d.
+
+ _Drummond._--Life of Robert Nicoll. By the late P. R. Drummond,
+ Perth. 5s.
+
+ _Edgar._--Old Church Life in Scotland. By Andrew Edgar, D.D. 7s.
+ 6d.
+
+ ---- The Bibles of England. By Andrew Edgar, D.D. 7s. 6d.
+
+ _Eyre-Todd._--The Glasgow Poets. Edited by George Eyre-Todd. 7s.
+ 6d. nett.
+
+ _Fergusson._--Alexander Hume. By R. Menzies Fergusson, M.A. 5s.
+ nett.
+
+ ---- A Student of Nature. By R. Menzies Fergusson, M.A. 4s.
+ nett.
+
+ ---- A Village Poet. By R. Menzies Fergusson, M.A. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- Rambles in the Far North. By R. Menzies Fergusson, M.A. 3s.
+ and 2s.
+
+ ---- Logie: A Parish History. By R. Menzies Fergusson, M.A. 2
+ vols. 15s. nett. each vol.
+
+ ---- The Viking's Bride, and other Poems. By R. Menzies
+ Fergusson, M.A. 3s.
+
+ _Ferguson._--The King's Friend. By Dugald Ferguson. 3s. 6d.
+
+ _Fergusson._--The Poems of Robert Fergusson. Edited by Robt.
+ Ford. 5s. nett.
+
+ _Fife._--And I Knew It Not. By David Fife. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Findlay._--Medici Carmina. By William Findlay, M.D. 3s. 6d.
+ nett.
+
+ ---- Ayrshire Idylls of Other Days. By "George Umber." 5s.
+
+ ---- In My City Garden. By "George Umber." 6s.
+
+ ---- Robert Burns and the Medical Profession. By William
+ Findlay, M.D. ("George Umber.") 6s. nett.
+
+ _Fittis._--Curious Episodes in Scottish History. By R. Scott
+ Fittis. 6s.
+
+ ---- Heroines of Scotland. By R. Scott Fittis. 6s.
+
+ ---- Romantic Narratives from Scottish History and Tradition. By
+ R. Scott Fittis. 6s.
+
+ _Fleming._--Ancient Castles and Mansions of Stirling Nobility.
+ By J. S. Fleming, F.S.A. 21s. nett.
+
+ _Ford._--American Humourists. Selected and edited by Robert
+ Ford. 3s. 6d.
+
+ ---- Auld Scots Ballants. 6s.
+
+ ---- Ballads of Bairnhood. Selected and edited by Robert Ford.
+ 5s.
+
+ ---- Ballads of Babyland. Selected and edited by Robert Ford.
+ 5s.
+
+ ---- Children's Rhymes, Games, Songs, and Stories. By R. Ford.
+ 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ----Ford's Own Humorous Scotch Stories. 1st and 2nd Series, 1s.
+ each nett. Both Series in 1 vol., 2s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- Poems and Songs of Alexander Rodger. Edited by Robert Ford.
+ 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- Tayside Songs and other Verses. By Robert Ford. 3s. 6d.
+ nett.
+
+ ---- The Harp of Perthshire. Edited by Robert Ford. 15s. and 7s.
+ 6d.
+
+ ---- Thistledown. By Robert Ford. 3s. 6d. and 1s. nett.
+
+ ---- Vagabond Songs and Ballads of Scotland. Edited by R. Ford.
+ 5s. nett.
+
+ ---- Miller's "Willie Winkie," and other Songs and Poems. Edited
+ by Robert Ford. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- The Heroines of Burns. By Robert Ford. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- Popular American Readings. Popular English Readings.
+ Popular Irish Readings. Popular Scotch Readings. Edited by
+ Robert Ford. 1s. each. Also in one vol., 4s.
+
+ _Forsyth._--Elocution: Simple Rules and Exercises for Correct
+ and Expressive Reading and Reciting. By John Forsyth. 1s. 6d.
+ nett. Gardner's Verse for Schools. Parts I. and II. 6d. nett
+ each part.
+
+ _Grosart._--The Verse and Miscellaneous Prose of Alexander
+ Wilson, the Ornithologist of America. Edited by Rev. A. B.
+ Grosart, LL.D. 12s. 6d.
+
+ _Hogg._--A Tour in the Highlands in 1803. By James Hogg. 2s. 6d.
+
+ _Holmes._--The Teaching of Modern Languages in Schools and
+ Colleges. By D. T. Holmes, B.A. 2s. nett.
+
+ ---- Literary Touring in the Scottish Highlands and Islands. By
+ D. T. Holmes, B.A. 4s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Johnson._--A Journey to the Western Islands of Scotland in
+ 1773. By Samuel Johnson, LL.D. New Edition. 2s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Kennedy._--David Kennedy, the Scottish Singer: Reminiscences of
+ his Life and Work. By Marjory Kennedy. And Singing Round the
+ World: a Narrative of his Colonial Tours. By David Kennedy, Jun.
+ 7s. 6d.
+
+ _Kennedy._--Reminiscences of Walt Whitman. By William Sloane
+ Kennedy, Camden, N.J. 6s.
+
+ _Ker._--Mother Lodge, Kilwinning, "The Ancient Lodge of
+ Scotland." By Rev. W. Lee Ker, Kilwinning. 4s. 6d.
+
+ _Kilgour._--Twenty Years on Ben Nevis. By Wm. T. Kilgour. 2/6 &
+ 1/6 nett.
+
+ ---- Lochaber in War and Peace. Illustrated. By Wm. T. Kilgour.
+ 7s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _King._--Shipwreck Wood: A Story of "Some that lift and some
+ that lean." By Carrol King. 2s.
+
+ _Mackean._--The King's Quhair. Done into English by Wm. Mackean.
+ 3s. 6d.
+
+ _M'Gown._--Ten Bunyan Talks. By G. W. T. M'Gown. 2s. nett.
+
+ ---- A Primer of Burns. By G. W. T. M'Gown. 1s. nett.
+
+ _MacKenzie._--History of the Outer Hebrides. By William C.
+ MacKenzie. 12s. 6d. nett. Large Paper, 21s.
+
+ _MacKenzie._--The Lady of Hirta. By Wm. C. MacKenzie, F.S.A.
+ Scot. 6s.
+
+ ---- A Short History of the Scottish Highlands and Isles. By Wm.
+ C. MacKenzie. New Edition. 5s. nett.
+
+ _Menzies._--Provincial Sketches and other Verses. By G. K.
+ Menzies. 2s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Menzies._--Illustrated Guide to the Vale of Yarrow. By James M.
+ Menzies. 1s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Metcalfe._--SS. Ninian and Machor--the Legends of, in the
+ Scottish Dialect of the Fourteenth Century. By W. M. Metcalfe,
+ D.D. 10s. 6d. nett. On Whatman Paper, 15s. nett.
+
+ ---- A History of the Shire of Renfrew from the Earliest Times
+ down to the Close of the Nineteenth Century. By W. M. Metcalfe.
+ D.D., F.S.A. 25s. nett. On Whatman Paper, 40s.
+
+ ---- History of Paisley. By W. M. Metcalfe, D.D. Illustrated.
+
+ ---- Charters and Documents relating to the Burgh of Paisley. By
+ W. M. Metcalfe, D.D. 21s. nett.
+
+ ---- Ancient Lives of the Scottish Saints. Translated by W. M.
+ Metcalfe, D.D. 15s. On Whatman Paper, 25s.
+
+ ---- Pinkerton's Lives of the Scottish Saints. Revised and
+ enlarged by W. M. Metcalfe, D.D. 2 vols. 15s. per vol.
+
+ ---- The Natural Truth of Christianity. Edited by W. M.
+ Metcalfe, D.D. 5s.
+
+ ---- The Reasonableness of Christianity. By W. M. Metcalfe, D.D.
+ 5s.
+
+ _Metcalfe._--The Great Palace of Constantinople. Translated from
+ the Greek of Dr. A. G. Paspates, by William Metcalfe, B.D. 10s.
+ 6d.
+
+ _Miller._--Selections from the Works of Hugh Miller. Edited by
+ W. M. Mackenzie, M.A., F.S.A. (Scot.). 3s. 6d.
+
+ _Mitchell._--A Popular History of the Highlands and Gaelic
+ Scotland. By Dugald Mitchell, M.D., J.P. 12s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Mitchell._--Jephtha: a Drama. Translated by A. G. Mitchell. 3s.
+ 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- John the Baptist: a Drama. Translated by A. G. Mitchell.
+ 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Robertson._--Practical First Aid. By Wm. Robertson, M.D.,
+ D.P.H. 1s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- The Stone of Dunalter. By Wm. Robertson, M.D., D.P.H. 3s.
+ 6d.
+
+ Scotland Eighty Years Ago. Thirty-two Fine Copperplate Etchings
+ of the Chief Towns and their Surroundings. £5 5s. to subscribers
+ only.
+
+ _Smith._--The New Testament in Braid Scots. Rendered by Rev. Wm.
+ Wye Smith. New Edition. 6s. nett.
+
+ _Symington._--Hints to Our Boys. By A. J. Symington. 1s. 6d.
+
+ _Tannahill._--Poems and Songs of Robert Tannahill. Edited by the
+ late David Semple, F.S.A. New Edition. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Taylor._--The Autobiography of Peter Taylor. 3s. 6d.
+
+ _Taylor._--Twelve Favourite Hymns: their Messages and their
+ Writers. By Rev. Wm. Taylor, M.A. 2s. nett.
+
+ _Wright._--Laird Nicoll's Kitchen, and other Sketches of
+ Scottish Life and Manners. By Joseph Wright. 2s. 6d. nett.
+
+
+
+
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+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Literary Tours in The Highlands and
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Literary Tours in The Highlands and Islands
+of Scotland, by Daniel Turner Holmes
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Literary Tours in The Highlands and Islands of Scotland
+
+Author: Daniel Turner Holmes
+
+Release Date: June 20, 2009 [EBook #29178]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LITERARY TOURS ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Susan Skinner and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+_LITERARY TOURS_
+
+
+
+
+ Literary Tours in
+ The Highlands and
+ Islands of Scotland
+
+ By D. T. Holmes, B.A.
+
+
+ "Gaudia, discursus, nostri est farrago libelli"
+ --_Juvenal_, i. 74
+
+
+ _PAISLEY: ALEXANDER GARDNER_
+ Publisher by Appointment to the late Queen Victoria
+ 1909
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ _To_
+ _James Coats, Junr., Esq.,_
+ _Ferguslie House, Paisley._
+
+
+ _You, but for whom I'd never been
+ Much further north than Aberdeen;
+ Whose mandate sent my willing feet
+ To realms of heather, broom, and peat:
+ Accept this record of my tours
+ As something less my own than yours._
+
+ _D. T. HOLMES._
+
+
+
+
+_PREFACE._
+
+
+ _White stands the long Kilpatrick row
+ Of hills with deep and dazzling snow,
+ And eastward, in a glimmering haze,
+ Stretch to the Forth the Campsie Braes._
+
+ _But see! beyond the Clyde, a stain
+ Of smoke that runs across the plain,
+ And flecks for miles the vivid gleam:
+ It is the tireless steed of steam._
+
+ _An old acquaintance! Ben and Strath
+ Daily behold his thunderous path,
+ That ceases not, until he feels
+ The breeze of Mallaig cool his wheels._
+
+ _And Memory, fondly gazing back
+ On many a journey by that track
+ Of splendour, would, at home, retrace
+ The charms and lore of every place;_
+
+ _Yea, pass, in thought, to storied Skye,
+ Where all the glens in glamour lie;
+ And, lightly scorning gust and spray,
+ Leap o'er the Minch to Stornoway._
+
+ _And many a northern beach besides,
+ Splashed by the foam of racing tides,
+ Rises in thought: from here to there,
+ Let Fancy's coinage pay the fare,--_
+
+ _Fancy, that wafts us o'er the main
+ To utmost Thule and home again,
+ Through mingled din of sea and sky,
+ Even in the twinkling of an eye._
+
+ _D. T. H._
+
+ _Ingleholm, Bridge of Weir,
+ 16th January, 1909._
+
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+ PAGE
+
+CHAPTER I.--INTRODUCTORY, 9
+
+ Village libraries--Difficulties of travel--Literary Societies in
+ the Highlands--Gaelic books--Happiness and geniality of
+ natives--Oban to Gairloch--Winter sailing--A crofting
+ village--Horrors of the Minch--Notes on Lewis--Highland
+ doctors--Hotels and anglers--Recent books--Military--Moray
+ Firth--Among the miners--Handloom weaving--Professor Blackie and
+ the Highlands.
+
+CHAPTER II.--MUSIC, SPEECHES, AND LITERATURE, 60
+
+ Scotch a reading nation--Hardships of students in old
+ days--Homer in Scalloway--When education ends--Objects of
+ chapter--Music--M.P.'s--Rural depopulation--Its
+ causes--Emigration--Village halls--The moon--A lecture in
+ Islay--Mental and material wealth--Real greatness--A Highland
+ laird on literature--Varieties of chairmen--"Coming to the
+ point"--Moral obligation--Compliment to Paisley--Oratory at
+ Salen--Lecture in a dungeon--Surprises--A visit to the
+ Borders--Tarbolton--Scotch language--Choice books--The
+ essayists--A Banff theory--Goldsmith in Gaelic--_Biblia
+ abiblia_--Favourites for the road--Horace--Shakespeare's
+ Sonnets--Xenophon--French literature and journalism--Romance and
+ Augustanism--Victorian writers--Celt and Saxon.
+
+CHAPTER III.--ECCLESIASTICAL, 134
+
+ Sectarian feeling--Typical anecdotes--Music and
+ religion--Ethical teaching in schools--The Moderates--A savoury
+ book--The Sabbath--"The Men of Skye"--The auldest kirk--The
+ Episcopal Church--An interlude of metre--The Christian
+ Brethren--Drimnin in Morven--Craignish--A model
+ minister--Ministerial trials in olden times--An artful
+ dodger--Some anecdotes from Gigha--Growing popularity of Ruskin.
+
+CHAPTER IV.--EDUCATIONAL, 180
+
+ Some Insular Dominies--Education Act of 1872--Education in the
+ Highlands--Feeding the hungry--Parish Council
+ boarders--Dwindling attendances--Arnisdale--Golspie Technical
+ School--On the Sidlaws--Some surprises--Arran schools--Science
+ and literature--Study of Scott--The old classical dominie--Vogue
+ of Latin in former times--Teachers and
+ examinations--Howlers--Competing subjects.
+
+CHAPTER V.--A TRIP TO SHETLAND, 217
+
+ Aberdeen--En route--Lerwick--Past and present saints--Some notes
+ on the islands--A Shetland poet--A visit to Bressay--From
+ Lerwick to Sandwick--Quarff--"That holy man,
+ Noah"--Fladibister--Cunningsburgh--"Keeping off"--The indignant
+ elder--Torquil Halcrow--Philology--A Sandwick gentleman--Local
+ tales--Foulah and Fair Isle--The fishing season.
+
+CHAPTER VI.--COMMERCIAL TRAVELLERS AND THEIR ANECDOTES, 255
+
+ Trials of commercials--The two-est-faced knave--Mary, the maid
+ of the inn--Anecdotes of the smoking-room: Sonnet to
+ Raleigh--Peelin's below the tree--"She's away!"--A mean
+ house--One of the director's wives--Temperance hotels--A
+ memorial window--The blasted heath--The day for it--The
+ converted drummer--A circular ticket--A compound
+ possessive--Sixteen medals--"She's auld, and she's thin, and
+ she'll keep"--The will o' the dead--Sorry for London--"Raither
+ unceevil"--An unwelcome recitation--A word in season--A Nairn
+ critic--A grand day for it--A pro-Boer--"Falls of Bruar, only,
+ please!"--A bad case of nerves.
+
+CHAPTER VII.--LEGENDS AND LITERARY NOTABILIA, 278
+
+ Gairloch folk-lore: Prince Olaf and his bride--A laird who had
+ seen a fairy--Tales from Loch Broom: The dance of death--The
+ Kildonan midwife--The magic herring--Taisch--Antiquities of
+ Dunvegan--Miscellaneous terrors--St. Kilda--Lady
+ Grange--Pierless Tiree--Lochbuie in Mull--Inveraray Castle--The
+ sacred isle--Appin--Macdonald's gratitude--Notes on the
+ Trossachs--Lochfyneside: Macivors, Macvicars, and
+ Macallisters--Red Hector--Macphail of Colonsay--Tales from
+ Speyside: Tom Eunan!--Shaws and Grants--The wishing well--Ossian
+ and Macpherson--At the foot o' Bennachie--Harlaw--Lochaber
+ reivers--Reay and Twickenham--Rob Donn--Rev. Mr. Mill of
+ Dunrossness.
+
+CHAPTER VIII.--METRICAL AND SUPPLEMENTARY, 340
+
+ Arrival of the Mail-train at a Highland Station--Defoe, the
+ Father of Journalism--A Village Toper--A Reverend
+ Hellenist--Antigone--Shadows of the Manse--"My Heart's in the
+ Highlands"--Saddell, Kintyre--Springtime in Perthshire--Dr.
+ George Macdonald's Creed--Abbotsford--Carlyle--Shelley--Picture
+ in an Inn--Rain-storm at Loch Awe--Kinlochewe--General
+ Wade--Sound of Raasay in December--Les Neiges d' Antan--The
+ Islands of the Ness--American Tourist Loquitur--The Miners--In a
+ Country Graveyard--No Place like Home.
+
+INDEX, 369
+
+
+
+
+LITERARY TOURING.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+INTRODUCTORY.
+
+ Village libraries--Difficulties of travel--Literary Societies in
+ the Highlands--Gaelic books--Happiness and geniality of
+ natives--Oban to Gairloch--Winter sailing--A crofting
+ village--Horrors of the Minch--Notes on Lewis--Highland
+ doctors--Hotels and anglers--Recent books--Military--Moray
+ Firth--Among the miners--Handloom weaving--Professor Blackie and
+ the Highlands.
+
+
+VILLAGE LIBRARIES.
+
+At pretty frequent intervals, during the last four years, I have sallied
+forth from my home in Renfrewshire, north, south, east, and west, to
+some of the most remote and isolated nooks of insular and provincial
+Scotland, on a mission so uncommon as to justify the writing of a book
+of impressions and experiences. The Highlands and Islands of Scotland
+are, of course, visited every summer by a great host of excursionists,
+who go thither to fish, play golf, lounge, climb hills, and otherwise
+picturesquely disport themselves. A few earnest devotees of science
+spend their holidays botanising in the glens, scanning the geological
+strata, looking for fossils, measuring the outlines of brochs and
+prehistoric forts, or collecting relics of Culdee churches. My journeys
+were undertaken for none of the objects named: they were entirely
+connected with _libraries_ and _lecturing_, and, being undertaken mainly
+in the months of winter and spring, they have given me the opportunity
+of noting a great many interesting particulars that the summer
+traveller, bent on recreation or science, cannot be expected to notice.
+
+_I do not think any finer gift could be given to a village community
+than a collection of useful and entertaining books._ The libraries with
+which my work was connected were sent, free of charge, to strath and
+glen, and nothing was asked in return, except that the volumes should be
+well housed and delivered to the people to read by some local librarian.
+You will find these libraries in all the townships of the Hebrides, from
+Ness in Lewis, down the long chain of islands, to Islay and Jura. About
+thirty of them are established in the Shetlands, and as many in the
+Orkneys. Scores of little villages in Aberdeen, Ross, Sutherland,
+Argyle, Bute, and Perth, have been gratuitously supplied with them. The
+same is true of many a weather-beaten, quaint, red-tiled little
+fishing-village along the shores of the Moray Firth. In the barracks of
+Fort-George, Inverness, and Dingwall, the soldiers can solace their
+leisure hours by delightful, patriotic, and instructive reading,
+furnished to them without money and without price. Even in quiet,
+pastoral Roxburghshire, at a spot near the birthplace of Dandie
+Dinmont, you will find one of these serviceable collections of books.
+
+It is a pleasure to me to be able to say that I have visited a great
+number of the districts mentioned, for the purpose of speaking to the
+people in a familiar and non-academic way on some of the books which
+have been presented to them. In this way I have spoken to about 40,000
+people, the majority of whom had never previously been present at a
+discourse on a literary topic. Most of them had, of course, been in the
+habit of attending religious services and election meetings: but neither
+of these is the very best preparation for a literary evening. Some of my
+experiences have been intensely amusing, and I do not think any lecturer
+has ever, as regards rough roads, inclement weather, and amazing votes
+of thanks, had quite the same joys and sorrows as I have come through. I
+have often laughed (good-naturedly, I hope) at what came under my
+notice, but I am not so conceited as to suppose that the hilarity was
+always on one side.
+
+
+DIFFICULTIES OF TRAVEL.
+
+It can very easily be seen that he who proposed to visit all the above
+districts would have some hard and continuous work in prospect. Even on
+the mainland of Scotland there are many villages of difficult access.
+The nearest railway station to Durness on Loch Eriboll is Lairg, sixty
+miles away. Gairloch in Ross-shire is thirty miles distant from the
+railway station of Achnasheen. In the great county of Aberdeen there are
+a good many villages that can only be reached by long and tiresome
+driving in a mail coach. At different parts of the Moray Firth little
+townships lie huddled at the foot of precipitous cliffs, and, at first
+sight, seem inaccessible except by sea. To one accustomed to the
+sumptuous equipment of the Clyde steamers, even the journey to the
+shrine of Hugh Miller at Cromarty is pleasant only in good weather: a
+wee, puffing, hard-wrought steam-launch takes a slant course of five
+miles from Invergordon to Cromarty pier, accomplishing the journey in
+forty-five minutes. The fare between the two piers is one shilling, and
+there is no extra charge for the use of the cabin, which is reached by a
+perpendicular and very slippery ladder, and would be better suited for
+philosophical reflection in a gale if the crew did not use it as a
+store-room for engine-grease and old oilskins. In the Outer Islands,
+Watt's machine is, of course, unknown, and many of the roads which
+imaginative cartographers have inserted in their maps, will perhaps be
+finished when the last trump is about to sound.
+
+Railway travelling, too, is attended with some inconveniences in winter.
+The Glasgow-Inverness train, for example, may, on the coldest night of
+the year, break down at Dalnaspidal; and in such a case the passengers
+will have to sit, entertained by howling blasts, till a fresh engine
+comes up from Blair Atholl. Such an experience was once mine, and I
+always think of it when I read the ninth ode of Horace's first book.
+Outside were the great snow-sheeted mountains, and the moon was gazing
+in blear-eyed compassion through a screen of haze. From end to end of
+the train resounded the rhythmic beat of cold-footed passengers striving
+to bring some warmth of blood to the toes.
+
+In Grantown-on-Spey, I got an uncommon surprise one February. There had
+been some snow in the Lowlands, but at Grantown the fall had been
+excessive, and the roads were encumbered. On arriving at the station,
+the travellers saw a sleigh waiting to convey them to the hotel. The
+conveyance suited the weather admirably, and the horses seemed to be
+enjoying the fun. No wheeled vehicles were to be seen: even the milkmen
+sleighed their commodity from door to door. "_If we had a brace of
+grand-dukes and a bomb or two, we could fancy ourselves in Russia_,"
+said the facetious hotel-porter. He asserted that it was well for the
+country when abundant snow came down early in the year. It seems that
+Grantown is apt to suffer from drought in a hot summer following on a
+rainless spring. A copious fall of snow early in the year is retained in
+the mountains, and ensures plenty of moisture during the months of heat.
+Moisture is needed in summer, for the population is trebled then, and
+most tourists require a little water, sometimes, to qualify their
+potations.
+
+It is evident from what I have said, that the pedantic and vexatious
+system adopted by Euclid in his Elements of Geometry could not be
+employed in arranging the chapters of this book. The stern
+consecutiveness of that immortal but unpopular author would be out of
+place in describing journeys which might have been taken in the reverse
+order without much difference in the results.
+
+
+LITERARY SOCIETIES IN THE HIGHLANDS.
+
+Winter with its long nights gives leisure to the remote glensmen and
+crofters. The distractions of the town are not there to take their minds
+away from study and meditation. Books may not be abundant, but what
+literature is available is eagerly fastened on and thoroughly digested.
+In the Lowlands we skip over our books and know nothing thoroughly. The
+Highlander, with his limited means and choice, is forced to peruse and
+re-peruse, even though he has nothing more lively than Boston's
+_Fourfold State_, or Hervey's _Meditations among the Tombs_. But he
+knows well what he has so often read, and is quite competent to discuss
+and criticise his little row of volumes. A few of the Highland townships
+have literary societies in which every variety of subject is debated:
+the meetings are usually opened with prayer, but not always closed in
+that way. There is a tiny clachan, some twenty miles distant from
+Ullapool, on the side of a hill, in view of the grotesque peaks of
+Suilven, which has a most flourishing literary society--with president,
+vice-president, rules, minutes, and committees. Not once, but twice a
+week does this society meet, and when the full moon is propitious for a
+clear journey home through the morasses, the debates are often unduly
+prolonged and the chairman's summing-up luxuriantly prolix. How many
+politicians of note in London have been raked fore and aft in that
+little schoolroom! What measures and enactments, plausible to the
+unthinking metropolitans, have been cut and slashed there, while the
+conscious moon, gleaming in at the window, strove vainly to disperse
+the loquacious throng! Listen to the chairman's modest remarks: "_I do
+not wish_," he says, "_to embarrass the Government, but_...." Unthinking
+Asquith, here is a man who does not wish to embarrass you; he could do
+it, but he is merciful! You may breathe freely, you and your Cabinet,
+for spite of your slips and blunders, the Ross-shire crofters will not
+turn round and rend you. They do not wish to embarrass the Government;
+but have a care: their eyes are on you, and forbearance has its limits.
+Think not because they live remote from train and telegraph, that you
+are immune from their censure. Far from it! Round the hill-side at a
+stated hour every day, in shine or shower, gust or calm, comes the
+mail-coach of King Edward VII., bringing its pile of letters and
+newspapers. I see the little throng of village politicians, eager-eyed,
+peruse the latest parliamentary news. There they get all the needed
+pabulum for the next political debate. If the answers to Mr. Galloway
+Weir have been shifty and evasive, it will go hard with the Government
+to-night in the little schoolroom, and the plaster will fall in showers
+of dust from the ceiling as the iniquities of our rulers are ruthlessly
+shown up. I should not like to feel the rough side of that chairman's
+tongue.
+
+A library of representative English works, presented to a remote
+provincial society like the one I speak of, is a centre of unspeakable
+entertainment and instruction. The _entertainment_, during the long
+nights of winter, when the natives gather round the ingle and someone
+reads aloud, is a very palpable addition to the joys of life. The
+_instruction_ is perhaps slower in coming, but is none the less sure.
+Only by comparison of books can their relative value as literature be
+determined. Bigotry and narrow-mindedness in literature and religion are
+almost always the result of ignorance. In the Highlands it is oftenest
+the local teacher who is the librarian, and the books are accommodated
+in the school. The teacher is thus able to make his instruction in
+literature vivid and interesting to his senior pupils; he can authorise
+a pupil to take a particular volume home and require an essay to be
+written on it within a given time; and he can, in school, read aloud
+typical passages of good prose to supplement the limited extracts of the
+class text-books. The books have been selected (i.) to form useful
+reading for adults; (ii.) to supply suitable pabulum for literary
+societies; (iii.) to aid the schemes of the Education Department in
+connection with what is called the "Supplementary Course of Instruction
+in English Literature." The selection of the books for the use of senior
+scholars has been, as a rule, easy enough. Dictionaries of the French
+and German languages, good atlases, and works of reference have, in most
+cases been included.[1]
+
+ [1] Let the southern reader remember that a boy born in a city
+ like Glasgow has, as respects opportunities of getting on,
+ infinitely better chances than a lad of equal ability born in a
+ Highland village. The crofter's son has no reading-room with
+ costly works of reference, scientific manuals, English
+ translations of Latin authors, etc., to go to when he is in need
+ of help. He begins the battle of life at a very serious
+ disadvantage, and often gives up the fight altogether. Anything
+ that tends to equalise the chances of town and country, from the
+ point of view of mental equipment, would do more general good to
+ Scotland, by bettering the available brain power, than any
+ half-dozen Acts of Parliament taken at random.
+
+
+GAELIC BOOKS.
+
+In selecting the books specially intended for the perusal of the older
+people, an attempt is made to meet the needs of the various localities.
+In the bi-lingual districts there is always a shelf of Gaelic books,
+such as the original texts of Norman Macleod's exquisite sermons,
+M'Rury's religious compilations, Macleod's clever poetry _The Lyre of
+the Grove_, Campbell's _Popular Tales of the West Highlands_, and Magnus
+Maclean's manuals of Celtic Literature. There being a distinct dearth of
+comely Celtic reading that the ordinary native can understand,
+arrangements have been made for the translation into Gaelic in several
+volumes by competent scholars, of extracts from Mr. Lang's _True Story
+Book_, and from other sources.
+
+The regrettable thing about Gaelic is its hopelessly bewildering
+spelling. The sounds are pleasing and melodious in a high degree, but
+they hide themselves behind most peculiar disguisements of print. Most
+people will admit, I think, that a language which spells Avon,
+_Amhuinn_, and Rory, _Ruaridh_, would benefit greatly by a visit from
+Pitman. The utility of sane phonetics was brought home to me very
+forcibly by a story I heard from a gentleman in the west of Skye. This
+gentleman is an excellent English scholar, can speak Gaelic but is
+unable to read it. He got a letter once from St. Kilda composed by an
+islander who spelt Gaelic by ear and not according to the awe-inspiring
+orthography of the dictionary. The gentleman, who could not have made
+out the letter had it been spelt correctly, was able to read it as it
+stood, without the slightest hesitation. If a more rational spelling
+were generally adopted, an immense number of Lowlanders who are
+interested in philology, would study the grand old tongue, were it only
+to understand the numberless place names of Celtic origin that occur in
+British geography.
+
+What I have said about Gaelic spelling explains the inability of a large
+percentage of the population to read a book printed in the native idiom.
+What is the use then, it may be asked, of translating the _True Story
+Book_? The answer is obvious to one who knows the Highlands. In the
+Outer Isles there are many old people who know no English and whose only
+literary solace comes from listening to others reading. At the evening
+_ceilidh_ a competent reader of Gaelic can usually be found. Then,
+again, we are likely to see, in the near future, a notable revival of
+interest in the old language, consequent on the efforts of the _Mod_,
+and on the recognition of Gaelic by the Department as a fit subject of
+study in the Highland schools. Such a revival, to be lasting in its
+effects, must be enforced and sustained by a constant supply of pure and
+interesting Gaelic books, both native and translated. Religious books
+there are in abundance, thanks to the zeal of the Protestant clergy.
+Needless to say, the compilations of the Dean of Lismore are as
+unintelligible to the modern Gael as Cynewulf is to a London cab-driver.
+I should like to see a round dozen of good English novels put into
+Gaelic by translators who knew the idiom thoroughly.
+
+The fervour displayed at Highland gatherings, admirable as it is from a
+sentimental point of view, is apt to grow cold at the prospect of
+laborious work to be done. It is not creditable that the great majority
+of Gaelic speakers are unable to read a page of Gaelic print. Nor is it
+creditable that those who can both read and speak, do so little for the
+interpretation of the literature. Blackie's books and translations are
+still among the best, and Blackie was a Lowlander, was born, indeed, in
+the Saltmarket of Glasgow. My frequent visits to the north and west have
+convinced me that another difficulty in the way of a possible resurgence
+of Gaelic is the lack of a recognised standard of colloquial speech. The
+language is split up into many dialects, each possessing its own special
+idioms and vocabulary. A Glasgow firm of printers not long ago conceived
+the idea of printing post-cards with Gaelic greetings: they found that
+every city Highlander they consulted had either in grammar or turn of
+phrase some special way of framing the sentences. "Grand Gaelic to-day!"
+is an exclamation sometimes heard at the door of a Highland church in
+town, and indicates that the minister who has officiated comes from the
+same strath as the person speaking.
+
+A moderate amount of encouragement to Gaelic is all that can reasonably
+be expected from the Government, seeing that the prime duty of the
+schoolmaster everywhere is to impart a sound knowledge of English.[2]
+
+ [2] In an editorial of June 6, 1908, the _Glasgow Herald_
+ excellently says:--"The first requisite for a Highlander is such
+ a knowledge of English as will open up to him the lucrative
+ employment from which ignorance of English must shut him out,
+ and it is no kindness to him to interfere with his acquisition
+ of this indispensable accomplishment.... So good a Gael as
+ Professor Magnus Maclean has observed that 'even more remarkable
+ than the dearth of philosophical and dramatic poems, and, we
+ might add, of narrative and pastoral poetry proper, is the
+ scarcity of Gaelic prose.' By all means, however, let a literary
+ knowledge of the Gaelic language be encouraged among
+ Gaelic-speaking children. It is a very different matter to
+ enforce such steps as would lead to the teaching of Gaelic to
+ children that live indeed in Gaelic-speaking districts but yet
+ speak only English."
+
+
+HAPPINESS AND GENIALITY OF NATIVES.
+
+What has struck me most in my travels by land and sea, is the
+extraordinary amount of happiness, geniality, and good humour that still
+exists in the world. There is a substantial amount of felicity in the
+majority of men. Every one knows the sentence of Emerson: "Give me
+health and a day, and I will make the pomp of empires ridiculous." I
+like to give concrete examples of philosophic maxims, and I should
+particularise Emerson's dictum thus: "Bard Macdonald of Trotternish,
+Skye, whose only cow came near being impounded by the Congested
+Districts Board in order to pay for the price of seed-potatoes furnished
+to him by the said Board, having good health, makes the pomp of empires
+ridiculous three hundred and sixty-five days every year." Bard Macdonald
+is a very poor man, yet he has contrived to hitch his waggon on to a
+fixed star. He lives in one of those low thatch-roofed bothies that,
+with the accompanying croft, are rented at from 2 to 4 a year. He has
+a wife and a large family. Yet, tormented as he is by present poverty
+and past arrears, he eyes the future with serenity. I heard him sing a
+Gaelic poem of his own composition, containing twenty-five verses of
+intricate versification, and at the conclusion he was far less exhausted
+than any of the company. Then, again, Torquil M'Gillivray, schoolmaster
+of a rainy township on the sea-edge of one of the Skye _nishes_, has
+tranquillity of mind as great as any of the Seven Sages ever enjoyed. He
+is perfectly contented with his lot of rural dominie, and when I, in my
+presumption, ventured to speak critically of certain social conditions
+in his beloved island, he rebuked me by crooning tenderly the following
+lines:
+
+ "Jerusalem, Athens, and Rome,
+ I would see them before I die,
+ But I'd rather not see any one of the three,
+ Than be exiled for ever from Skye!"
+
+We all know what a unique poetical gem Wordsworth composed after he
+heard a Highland girl singing at Inversnaid. I witnessed many fine
+examples of concentrated joy which might have resulted in metre if I had
+not had the presence of mind to pull myself up and refrain. One was at
+Acharacle, where in front of a croft a young fellow was dancing the
+Highland fling with such whole-souled and consuming zeal that I stood
+transfixed with wonder and awe. He was alone, and I came suddenly upon
+him at a sharp bend of the road. He threw his legs about him with such
+regardless glee, that for a moment I was afraid one of them would get
+unfixed and come spinning through the air to hit me. I watched him like
+one fascinated for fully ten minutes. When at length he saw me, the
+glory flowed suddenly off his legs; he subsided into a country bumpkin,
+and beat a hasty retreat indoors. "If Greek dances were as artistic as
+this one," said I, "and if the lines of each chorus had a reference to
+the diversity of the steps, it is little wonder that God in His
+providence should have sent us so many commentators to explain the
+mysteries of ancient scansion."
+
+Another instance of natural and spontaneous bliss came under my notice
+about two miles along from Kinlochewe, on the banks of Loch Maree. It
+was a glorious, sun-illumined spring morning, and every crevice in the
+rough flanks of Ben Slioch was mirrored in the unwrinkled surface of the
+noble loch. Ben Eay had a bright covering of Nature's whitest, softest
+lawn. No sounds were heard except the low droning of a vagrant bee, the
+whizzing of a sea-mew's pinions, or a bark from this croft answered by a
+bark from that other a mile away. Suddenly the repose of the morning, in
+which a pedestrian could hear the echo of his own feet, was startled by
+the voice of a girl singing. For a moment I thought of the _Lorelei_;
+but it was soon evident where the notes were coming from. A maiden of
+ten or twelve was sitting in front of a cottage that faced the lake,
+combing her long, black hair that glistened in the morning rays, and
+pouring forth such exquisite trills as might have made Orpheus envious.
+The whole beauty of ben, loch, and sky seemed to be gathered up in that
+child's song. I had been wandering along in the sparkling air and
+feeling that something ought to be done to intimate to Heaven that it
+was a heavenly morning. The girl felt so happy in the gracious gift of
+another blue day that her nature responded at once in a spontaneous
+burst of melody. I was very grateful for her vicarious hymn of praise--
+
+ "Now thanks to Heaven! that of its grace
+ Hath led me to this lonely place.
+ Joy have I had; and going hence
+ I bear away my recompense."
+
+
+OBAN TO GAIRLOCH.
+
+It is impossible for anyone who has a fair supply of the uncurdled milk
+of human kindness to sail from Oban to Gairloch and not be struck with
+the heartiness and good humour of the native population. Such a trip is
+rarely accomplished without some memorable incident or some outstanding
+impression. The landscape is doubtless magnificent, but the people one
+sees on the way are infinitely more interesting. No one, I am sure, can
+fail to observe the well-groomed, fresh, and imperial aspect of the pier
+policemen. The general polish of their boots and belts, the
+self-satisfied, Parnassian smile that never comes off, the spotless
+gloves, the muscular frame, combine to make up a splendid type of
+impressive Law grounded on Strength. I am ashamed to employ the term
+"policemen" to a body of officials who command such instantaneous
+respect. These men are King Edward's Highland satraps, and they both
+know it and feel it: law in the North is never undignified or unkempt.
+Then, again, the captain of the steamer is a man whom it is impossible
+to regard without veneration. All Macbrayne's men are fine fellows; they
+look well as they stand in stately fashion on the bridge: yet many a
+scowling sky of torrential rain they have to face, many a time have
+their beards been shaken by the hurricanes of the Minch. If you speak to
+a ship-captain, you are certain to get the utmost civility and
+politeness. It is true that most of them have several sets of
+vocabularies: to passengers they are urbane and choice of speech; but
+they have, within easy reach, another set of phrases, which they find of
+service in addressing delinquent mariners.
+
+A student of Virgil in making the trip I have alluded to above, would
+run the risk of recalling the passage in which the poet suggests that
+the big island of Sicily was at one time connected with the mainland,
+but that some huge convulsion of nature disjoined the twain and allowed
+the Mediterranean to come roaring in a channel between. The scenery of
+Western Scotland stirs the imagination to suppose that some similar
+catastrophe permitted the sea to mangle the fair uniformity of a
+prehistoric coast, submerge the low-lying lands, and leave a great
+number of islands lying in lonely fashion out in the watery waste.
+Heavy weather, truly, it must have been ere Coll, Tiree, Rum, and Eigg
+were sundered from the mainland by the Atlantic flow.
+
+All the islands I mention (save Tiree) can be seen from the deck of the
+_Gael_ during the earlier part of the daily passage of that boat from
+Oban in the summer season. Tiree is off the main tourist track, but a
+few antiquarians are now finding it worth their while to go and dig
+there for relics of byegone civilisation. A friend of mine, a zealous
+and erudite F.S.A., has spent many a pleasant holiday in Tiree, and has
+come back with loaded trunks of valuable prehistoric remains. Certain
+artists go out to the island regularly in order to transfer to canvas
+some of Nature's most impressive aspects of cloud, wave, and crag. Nor
+let me forget the doughty members of the _Faith Mission_, who evangelise
+this and others of the outer isles, and sing such sweet melodies to the
+natives as would melt any "Wee Free" heart, let alone an ordinary heart
+of stone. Tiree has long been famous for its schools and for its
+intelligent inhabitants; as a consequence, the libraries have been
+enthusiastically welcomed in its townships, and are regarded by the
+teachers there as a new and valuable adjunct of education. I have often
+heard it said that Tiree produces more ministers than any other
+district, of like population, in the Celtic part of Scotland. The Duke
+of Argyll does not allow any licensed house on the island, but he has
+not as yet suppressed the _Fingal_ and the parcels post. Should His
+Grace ever unbend so far as to permit the temperance hotels to obtain
+the licence, learned men might flock in greater numbers to Tiree, and
+dazzle themselves and the world with further antiquarian finds.[3]
+
+Rum has not been dowered with a Paisley library, and I regret to say
+that the natives have the reputation of not keeping the Sunday with
+ostentatious strictness. Eigg, the little island contiguous, is a little
+heaven below. The missionary there well deserves a word of commendation:
+the island of Muck is under his spiritual supervision, and with a
+sandwich and a sermon in his pocket, he often sets sail, scorning gust
+and current, to preach to his parishioners in that tiny islet.
+
+ [3] Coll is also a very interesting island for the antiquarian.
+ It contains distinct traces of twenty-nine Hill-forts or Duns,
+ so that there must have been lively times out there long ago.
+ Some fine shells, beads, pins and pottery have been found in the
+ prehistoric _kitchen-middens_. Before the Reformation the island
+ was thickly peopled, and sites of old churches and deserted
+ crofts are numerous. Coll has gone back in population; in 1901
+ it had 432 inhabitants; in 1755 the number of natives was 1,193.
+
+
+WINTER SAILING.
+
+The summer tourist knows Skye very imperfectly, for he goes there in a
+commodious steamer and traverses the island at a season when the days
+are long and the weather benign. No one should vaunt of knowing Skye
+unless he has seen it in winter also. It is the small _Lochiel_ that, in
+the dark days of December, bears the passengers along the chilly Sound
+of Sleat, and through the narrows of Raasay, into the haven of Portree.
+At such a time there is something fearsome and weird in the aspect of
+the coast, as seen from the cabin window of the brave little boat as
+she battles and plunges along in the teeth of the north-eastern gale.
+Her progress is slow, for when passengers are few Macbrayne wisely
+economises his coal. The long-stretching hills of Raasay (on the highest
+of which Boswell danced a jig) are white from head to foot, and gleam
+through the darkness of the afternoon, vivid and ghostly. As Raasay
+House, with its lamp-lit windows shining in a snowy recess, is
+approached, the engines slow down, and through the howl of the wind can
+be heard the plashing of oars. The broad waves swirl and seethe cruelly
+around the ferry-boat and toss it about at all angles, up and down, on
+crest and in trough, till you fear it will end its struggles keel
+upwards, and send the mail-bags down among the mackerel. But the boatmen
+know their trade, and so do the dripping, top-booted seamen of the
+_Lochiel_. Amid much running and shuffling and casting of ropes and
+animated bandying of (I fear) strong expressions in Gaelic sung out upon
+the night, the ship's ladder is cast down and the boat tied thereto. In
+a few minutes the transfer of mails is over, the ladder up, and the
+small boat leaping back to land. (I speak of December 22, 1904). A new
+passenger has come on board and is seen to descend the cabin stairs to
+unfreeze his fingers over the tiny stove. Half-an-hour's heaving still
+remains before Portree. A lady who has been on the border-line of
+squeamishness for the last hour, hurriedly leaves the cabin, probably to
+see if her luggage is all right. Good news at last for all! Portree is
+visible, and its lights are twinkling on the height. The moon comes
+graciously out, silvering the snowy shoulders of Essie Hill. What a
+contrast is this moonlit haven, with its background of terraced lights,
+to the rough surges outside. Glad indeed is everyone to set foot on the
+pier and trudge through disregarded slush to the warmth of home or
+hotel. We are told by our island friends that all Skye is under snow and
+that the roads are impassable. No mail-coach has ventured to Dunvegan
+for two days and in other directions, the postmen, turned cavaliers,
+have gone off on horseback with their letters. (Let me say in passing,
+that a red-bearded Highland postman, clad in post-office livery and
+seated on a sheltie, is a sight which any artist would go a hundred
+miles to see.)
+
+Winter sailing may at times be as pleasant as a cruise in June. At 8
+A.M. in the snug cabin, the breakfast-table, with its tea, ham, eggs,
+and sausages, is a welcome piece of scenery, and the genial talk of the
+captain and his colleagues is far better than pepsine as a digestive.
+After breakfast, a pipe on deck is a necessity. Who that has once seen
+Ben-na-ceallich all white to the feet and softly veiled with airy mists,
+but wishes he were a Turner to paint, or a Shelley to sing? The sail
+from Broadford to Kyle on a calm, cold, snow-dazzling morning is (if one
+is wrapped and coated well) absolutely majestic. The sun pours, if not
+warmth, at least light and heat on the hundred bens of the mainland and
+the breeze aiding, wakens a multitudinous smile on the glittering face
+of the cold waters.
+
+I never take this trip without thinking of such books as _The Brave Sons
+of Skye_, which gives a record of the brave men born in the misty island
+who have come south and distinguished themselves in many a different
+walk in life. It is a most inspiring thing to reflect on the dauntless
+way in which genius treads the stony road that leads from poverty to
+glory. There is not a district in Skye but has its great man, who forms
+the subject of conversation round the peat fire when the winter winds
+are blowing down the strath. "From Log Cabin to White House" is the
+American way of putting it: in Scotland we might say "From Crofter's Cot
+to Professor's Chair."
+
+
+A CROFTING VILLAGE.
+
+The sight of a crofting village is at first rather surprising to one
+accustomed to large towns. The low roofs are not far from the ground.
+Often, while driving, if you turn a corner swiftly, you run the risk of
+being thrown out of the trap on to one of the chimneys. It does not take
+much imagination, especially in the dim dusk, to transform a
+low-thatched cot into some weird animal that might begin to walk along
+the hill-side at any moment. So irregularly grouped are the townships,
+dropped here and there, as it were, that you might fancy the houses had
+begun at one time to run a race with each other, and in the middle of it
+had suddenly stopped. Dr. Johnson complained that the windows were fixed
+into the walls and could not, in consequence, be opened to let in the
+air. That fault exists to some extent still: I have been told, however,
+that peat reek is very purifying, and that its thick fumes make short
+work of any noxious germs that might lodge about the nooks of the
+interior. Great changes are gradually coming over many of the clachans,
+changes not loved by an artist or a devotee of the picturesque. Instead
+of thatch, held down by ropes weighted with heavy stones, there is often
+to be seen a roofing of tarred cloth or corrugated iron. Romance might
+attach itself to a roof of thatch, but corrugated iron, with its
+distressing parallelism, could never awaken a genuine lyric note.
+Further, it does not make a very comfortable seat, whereas thatch is
+soft. Now, children in the Highlands are rather fond of sitting and even
+playing on the roof: thatch is less cruel on bare feet than iron is.
+
+
+HORRORS OF THE MINCH.
+
+I have alluded to the distresses of winter voyaging to Skye. But there
+are other routes worse, notably that from Tarbert in Harris to
+Lochmaddy, which is a perfect Tartar of a trip. When the wind is high
+and contrary, the traveller (if he can stay on deck and maintain an
+interest in the scenery), beholds a sight of extreme grandeur. The waves
+are to be seen all along the Harris coast leaping up to a terrific
+extent with an unbroken line of foam extending for miles. So much does
+the boat romp and dance, however, that most passengers forsake the deck
+and retire inelegantly below. When a man lies in a stuffy cabin wishing
+himself wedged into it to prevent the perpetual rolling to this side and
+to that, and hearing the desperate thud of the Minch flinging itself
+against the port-hole, a series of vivid panoramic pictures pass before
+his mental eye. Home appears so lovely and reposeful: faces of friends
+on shore arise, transfigured by the glow of love: the squeamishness and
+retching he endures seem to the sufferer a special and direct judgment
+on him for impiously endeavouring to find pleasure otherwise than by the
+practice of the domestic virtues. Disquieting memories of bursting
+boilers surge up to the surface of the mind, and old catches like the
+weird ballad of Sir Patrick Spens lilt themselves to the clank of the
+staggering ship's machinery--
+
+ "The anchor's brak and the tapmast lap,
+ It was sic a deadly storm,
+ And the waves dashed into the gude ship's side
+ Till a' her planks were torn."
+
+The romance of the sea is apt to vanish as you look out upon a
+wilderness of foaming water, tossing the boat like an insignificant toy,
+drenching the bulwarks and vehemently smiting everything in its riotous
+anger. Neptune seems a mere blind force without reverence or mercy for
+the works of man. It is good for a boy of romantic disposition to cross
+to the Long Island in a gale: it will effectually cure him of all desire
+to take up the profession of pirate. What a sad moment for such a youth
+when he sees his breakfast where it shouldn't be, and reflects that he
+has not the staying power of Sir Ralph the Rover!
+
+I regret to say that I have no specific to give as a preventive for
+sea-sickness. Even the Phoenicians who had time, during the intervals
+of their hardy voyaging, to invent the alphabet, were unable to devise a
+remedy for the _mal de mer_. Custom does not create immunity, for even
+the mighty Nelson, who had a life-long acquaintance with the ocean, was
+afflicted with sea-sickness to the end of his days. In France there
+exists a _Ligue contre le mal de mer_, commenting upon which a French
+journalist says: _Avec une ligue on est toujours assur d'une chose:
+dfaut de progrs, qu'elle nous fera peut-tre attendre, elle fera des
+congrs: et c'est du moins une consolation que de pouvoir discourir de
+son mal._
+
+He that will to Cupar maun through Fife, and he that has business in the
+Lews must brave the billows of the Minch.
+
+
+NOTES ON LEWIS.
+
+The great island of Lewis, formerly so distant from Edinburgh and
+Glasgow, can now be reached in fourteen hours by one who leaves the
+latter city at 5.40 A.M. The old route was very tiresome and circuitous:
+the traveller had to proceed to Inverness, take the Dingwall and Skye
+line to Strome Ferry, and then sail over the Minch to Stornoway. The
+opening up of the West Highlands by the railway to Mallaig has changed
+all that. At Mallaig pier, when you leave the train, you find the
+connecting steamer ready to set off, at noon, for its journey to
+Stornoway, where it arrives about eight in the evening.
+
+I don't think anyone would want to stay more than a week at a time in
+Stornoway. The town itself is just like the fishy part of
+Boulogne-sur-Mer, only more so. There is a pervading odour of mussels,
+bait, and herring, and the gulls go flapping overhead in crowds
+everywhere. If the tourist remained a week in the place, he would go
+every day to the Castle grounds. Here, if anywhere, is the paradise of
+the Lews. There is a profusion of dells, burns, glades, ivy-grown
+bridges, and far-extending vistas over sea, moorland, and town. As with
+a knife (so precise is the division) the well-wooded policies are
+separated from the barren and disheartening moor. When one gets to the
+highest point of the grounds and gazes over the long, tiresome slopes of
+the island, one's belief in _design in nature_ gets a sudden stab. A man
+will think long and sore before he arrives at any _raison d'tre_ for
+including such a wilderness of bogs in the scheme of creation.
+
+The men of the island are, in the main, shrewd, resourceful, and
+intelligent--qualities fostered by their constant fighting with the sea.
+"The young fellows here," said one of the hotel-keepers to me, "will
+either make a spoon or spoil a horn. They come to a decision speedily
+and put it into practice at once. It is hit or miss with them, usually
+hit. At sea, in a gale, there is no time for parliamenting; and Lewismen
+act on land with the swift decision that is needed in a tempest." All
+round the coast are fishing-villages, thickly populated by these
+intrepid children of the tempest.
+
+Fishing is a precarious industry, and often fails. The harvest of the
+land may fail at the same time as that of the sea: in such a case the
+plight of the islanders is sad indeed. During the last five years, the
+trade of weaving has been wisely fostered by the Government, so that in
+future, when sea and soil are churlish, the loom will to some extent
+supply the lack. The Duchess of Sutherland and the Congested Districts
+Board have done excellent service in encouraging the tweed-weaving
+industry all over the Long Island. Her Grace, some years ago, made a
+progress through Lewis and addressed the people by means of an
+interpreter, on the advantages of such industry in their homes. She also
+instituted exhibition sales of work in the big cities of the south, with
+the result that large quantities of cloth were sold and a precious
+publicity given to the scheme. Depots for receiving the cloth from the
+workers are now established in Stornoway and Harris. The Congested
+Districts Board advance money without interest for the purchase of
+looms, provide an experienced instructor to supply the people with new
+patterns, and give an adequate supply of dye-pots free of charge. This
+instructor goes over the whole of Lewis and Harris, spending month about
+in each, erecting new looms and modernising old ones. There is a large
+carding mill in Stornoway, where the natives can have the wool
+expeditiously carded in the most approved modern style. An industry thus
+fostered and supervised is bound to succeed.
+
+Educationally, the Long Island is making great progress. Higher
+education is almost entirely centred in the Nicolson Institute,
+Stornoway, a school admirably conducted and finely equipped. The pupils
+of marked ability in the elementary schools of Lewis come here to
+continue their higher studies, and, in many cases, to prepare themselves
+for the University. I have seen specimens of a magazine, annually put
+forth by the senior pupils of this school, and containing many
+interesting essays and poems, grave and gay. The English of the essays
+was remarkably good, and contained here and there some piquant
+suggestions of Gaelic idiom. The pupils read French well, probably
+because their native Gaelic contains such a rich reservoir of nasal
+sounds to draw upon.
+
+
+HIGHLAND DOCTORS.
+
+I have a great respect for the medical gentlemen who have taken up their
+position in remote districts of Scotland, and devote themselves to the
+healing art under most disadvantageous circumstances. The distances are
+incredibly long and dangerous in winter: I have in my mind an insular
+doctor who has a deal of midnight boating to do in glacial weather, and
+whose bills are often paid not in coin but _in fleece newly off the
+sheep's back_. As the population gets smaller, the doctor's work becomes
+more laborious and less remunerative. The institution of district nurses
+has been a great success, and I wish there were more of them. A
+sympathetic and competent _nurse_ is a valuable asset in a crofting or
+seafaring community. In one district of Mull, recently visited, I found
+that the nurse was also the village librarian. She was quite at home
+both with lotions and literature, and could recommend a poet or prepare
+a poultice with equal skill. The ante-room to the village hall was her
+dispensary: it seemed to me remarkably complete, and to have as
+scientific an odour as any city pharmacy. I was glad to see that the
+Clan Maclean was so well supplied with the resources of modern
+civilisation.
+
+In every one of the village libraries there is a copy of Black's
+_Medical Dictionary_, a most useful compilation, written in clear and
+simple language, and detailing all the commonest remedies. Many rural
+teachers and clergymen have considerable skill in coping with illness.
+Every country minister should have at least a smattering of medical
+knowledge.[4]
+
+ [4] At Spean Bridge there is a worthy old farmer, Mr. Chalmers,
+ who has a widespread fame for dexterous bone-setting, a talent
+ which is said to have descended to him from a long line of
+ forbears. A young gentleman from Glasgow was in the hotel there
+ during my stay, and from personal experience spoke of Mr.
+ Chalmers's remarkable powers. He told me that patients come from
+ far and near (after eminent surgeons have failed to give
+ benefit), in order to be treated at Spean Bridge.
+
+
+HOTELS AND ANGLERS.
+
+Wherever the angler goes, you find a good hotel. Uist is low-lying and
+barren, with nothing to attract the eye--no tourist would go near the
+place for anything it has to show in the way of scenery. But as it has
+hundreds of small lochs, full of fish, ardent anglers go thither from
+all parts of the British Isles; and so at Lochmaddy and Lochboisdale the
+hotels are not merely good, they are excellent. The recording angel is
+kept busy, during the season, in taking a note of all the myths told
+there by the fishers in the evening over the whisky and soda.
+
+There may be heard, at night, in most hotels in the Western Isles, the
+riotous scampering of rats overhead and along the walls. In Lochmaddy
+hotel there used to be an old frisker (perhaps he is living still) that
+gave great entertainment, though no one ever saw him. He lifted a stone,
+evidently with his mouth, ran a yard or two with it, and then dropped it
+with a great clatter. The game was a pleasure to him, for he would
+practice it for half an hour at a time. The anglers who frequented the
+hotel called him _the mason_.
+
+I have got into conversation with innumerable knights of the rod, and
+can sympathise to a slight extent with their enthusiasm. Nothing seems
+to take hold of a man so irrevocably as Walton's mania. Travelling by
+night in the north lately, I looked out into the dusk from the carriage
+window and beheld a bright flash of lightning, and by the gleam thereof
+saw a midnight maniac with his rod silhouetted against the vast inane.
+How few fishers nowadays, except perhaps Mr. Andrew Lang, can write
+their experiences in good marrowy English--
+
+ The quaint loquacious wits of long ago,
+ Whose ease was never broken by the shrill
+ Whistle of engine panting round the hill,
+ Could by the brook where fishful waters flow,
+ Spend the long hours in angling to and fro,
+ And hooking lusty trout and salmon, till
+ The low-descending sun and evening chill
+ Would send them to the merry ingle-glow;
+ Then, after fit refection, pen and ink
+ Would consecrate on paper all their feats
+ In rippling phrases flashing with the blink
+ Of forest glades and living water-sheets;
+ The race is poorer now than it was then:
+ We have no anglers that can wield the pen.
+
+I believe the best region in all Scotland for trout is the wild and
+picturesque county of Sutherland. In the district of Assynt alone there
+are 150 lochs, fine sheets of water most of them, lying about among the
+hills. Half-way between the two seas and just on the borders of
+Sutherland and Ross, is the cosy wee hotel of Altnacealgach, with a
+well-stocked loch at the door, from which hundredweights of trout are
+taken every year. The air that blows about the house is to that of
+London as champagne is to dish-water.
+
+There is a close connection, as I said, between the frequentation of a
+district by anglers and the excellence of its hotels. Where there is no
+great influx of tourists, the hotel accommodation is decidedly poor. I
+remember one inn, at a cold windy clachan on the west coast, which only
+stress of weather and dire necessity would make a man enter. Dirty stone
+steps, worn and crumbled in the centre, led to an upper room which had
+apparently not been swept out for a year or two. Not even the city of
+Cologne in Coleridge's time could have produced from among its imposing
+catalogue of stenches anything to match the complex ensemble of that
+malodorous inn. There was stale fish intil't, and bad beer intil't, and
+peat reek intil't, and mice intil't, and candle grease intil't, and the
+devil and all intil't. Though I was the only visitor, I feared I should
+not have the bed to myself: so I e'en wrapped myself in my Highland
+plaidie (after the minimum of disinvestiture), and stretched my limbs on
+an arthritic settee, with intent to sleep. No sleep came till the
+quaffing roysterers of the clachan had ceased fighting under the moon
+outside, about 2 A.M. namely. Rather than stay two nights in such a
+place, I boated out early next day into the mid-channel of the Sound of
+Mull, and clambered up the sides of Macbrayne's _Lapwing_, which took me
+to Oban.
+
+
+RECENT BOOKS.
+
+The most charming of recent works on the Outer Islands is that one of
+which the preface was written in Jerusalem. I refer to the volume of
+Miss Goodrich Frere, a lady whose vivacity, fervour, and picturesque
+style are deserving of unqualified praise. All the libraries in the
+bilingual districts contain the book, and few are so often asked for. In
+conversation and publicly I have often given myself the pleasure of
+recommending it, alike to Highlander and Lowlander. My admiration for
+Miss Frere's talents makes me wish that one or two of her prejudices had
+been less glaringly displayed. She speaks, for example, with something
+like scornful reproach of Lochmaddy, because the habit of taking
+afternoon tea is common in that township. It would have been more to the
+purpose if Miss Frere had issued a general warning to the people of the
+Hebrides not to drink tea as black as porter, and, above all, not to
+boil it. The pale anmic faces one so often sees in the north and west,
+the mental prostration and actual insanity so alarmingly on the increase
+in the Long Island, are unquestionably due, in great measure, to the
+abominably strong tea that is swilled in such quantities there. A
+Tarbert doctor told me that the medical profession now talk quite
+familiarly of the Harris stomach just as drapers talk of Harris tweed:
+the former is, he averred, as weak and devoid of tone as the latter is
+strong and of good texture. This doctor was called up at two one morning
+to attend a patient in one of the moorland townships. At that hour, away
+over there on the gusty rim of the Atlantic, the natives were all afoot.
+People were talking to each other at the doorsteps; lamps were lighted
+inside, and tea that had been boiling for hours among the red peats, was
+being imbibed with infinite gusto. This, the doctor assured me, was the
+normal style of living.[5]
+
+Talking of North Uist, Miss Frere shows indignation at the invasion of
+southern ideas, and thinks that everything is being vitiated by the
+taint of Lochmaddy. Lochmaddy, characterised in so droll a way, is a
+tiny township with a Sheriff Court, a church, a few well-built modern
+houses, a school, and an excellent hotel. Cleanliness is a welcome
+feature of the place, and I am sorry to say that the same can not be
+said of certain crofting villages not far distant. I expect that the
+visits of the Government Sanitary Officer, whom I met at Lochmaddy, and
+who knows his business well, will ultimately work an enormous amount of
+good. That gentleman gave me such unsavoury details regarding the
+conditions of life in certain of the townships as made me hope that the
+"taint of Lochmaddy," that is to say, the cleanliness and civilised
+life of that village, may more and more become evident throughout both
+the Uists. Improved sanitation would allow heaven's breath to circulate
+through the low-lying cots and prevent them from being hot-beds of
+malignant disease.
+
+One feature of Miss Frere's book which does honour to her fine sympathy,
+but which is not ethnologically justifiable, is the persistent attempt
+to draw a sharp racial distinction between Highlander and Lowlander. The
+truth is, that no part of the Highlands is purely Celtic: the population
+is a welter of Picts, Gaels, Norsemen, Danes, and Saxons. The Lowland
+blood is, in like manner, a bewildering blend, there being no
+uncontaminated Anglo-Saxon district in any single county of Scotland.
+Mr. J. M. Robertson's clever book, _The Saxon and the Celt_, seems to me
+to dispose finally of certain fallacies that Hill Burton and others have
+light-heartedly written on the subject of racial characteristics. The
+conditions of life, the ungeniality of sea and soil, the wild and grand
+aspect of nature, influence thought, feeling, and character at least as
+much as blood and heredity.[6]
+
+Another delightful book on the Outer Hebrides is that written by Mr. W.
+C. Mackenzie. Proceeding in the order of chronology, the author gives a
+vivid series of historic summaries (enlivened by many a piquant episode
+and humorous touch) of the Long Island from the earliest times. The
+wanderings of Prince Charlie, and the condition of the country after
+Culloden, have never been better told than in Mr. Mackenzie's narrative.
+
+ [5] The student of eugenics will note that among the tea-bibbing
+ islanders of the west the teeth of the natives are poor. My
+ experience tends to show that the best teeth in Scotland are to
+ be found in Aberdeenshire. When a Buchan audience laughs, there
+ is a gleam of polished ivory that is very impressive; but rural
+ Aberdeen has deviated less into slops than any other part of
+ Britain.
+
+ [6] "There are probably now more persons of Highland descent in
+ the Lowlands than in the Highlands themselves."--_Scotland of
+ To-Day_, by Henderson and Watt, p. 300. See also note at end of
+ chapter on Inverness surnames, etc.
+
+
+MILITARY.
+
+I hinted at the beginning of this chapter that the barracks of the
+Highland regiments had been supplied with extensive libraries for the
+use of the soldiers during their leisure hours. Fort-George, the
+erection of which was directly due to the Highland rebellions, has been
+presented with two fine libraries, and I am happy to say that the men
+greatly appreciate the gift. I happened to be in the vicinity of
+Fort-George when the Duke of Connaught was conducting an official
+inspection. The little town of Ardersier, which is some two miles from
+the Fort, was gay with bunting for the ducal visit. The books at the
+Fort are under the charge of Sergeant-Major Markham, an able
+elocutionist and one who, in his own sphere, does an immense amount of
+good. He gets the young recruits to band themselves together in social
+clubs, organises games and entertainments for them, and encourages them
+to read and study. The philanthropic Sergeant-Major was engaged in
+typing a catalogue of the books when the genial Duke came upon the
+scene. His Royal Highness was astonished to see such a magnificent
+selection of reading matter at the disposal of the soldiers, and eagerly
+asked for information as to the origin of the boon. His curiosity was
+satisfied, and when he heard that the same donor had given appropriate
+libraries to the garrisons at Inverness, Dingwall, and Kinbrace, he
+exclaimed, "Such a gentleman is indeed the Soldier's Friend."
+
+Since the Duke's visit, a small library of books has been sent to the
+children's school at the Fort. The population of this military
+community, containing as it does a great many married men with their
+wives and families, is fully equal to that of Ardersier, and
+necessitates a separate school. I was struck with the pronunciation of
+the children in this part of the country. Many of the Fort children,
+having mothers from the other side of the Border, speak with an
+unmistakable English accent and are rather unscrupulous with respect to
+the aspirate. The town of Inverness, which is at no great distance from
+Fort-George, has long been famous for its clear and unprovincial English
+speech, a fact which Johnson (oddly enough) thought due to some of
+Cromwell's soldiers having settled there.
+
+Dr. Johnson devotes two pleasant little paragraphs to describe his visit
+to Fort-George and his entertainment there by Sir Eyre Coote. I have
+always admired the Doctor's sly way of avoiding a description of the
+Fort: "I cannot," he says, "delineate it scientifically, and a loose and
+popular description is of use only when the imagination is to be
+amused."
+
+In spite of the menace of Fort-George, the Highlanders fondly cherished
+the memory of Charlie for many a year. To no subject even now do their
+descendants listen with such rapt attention as to his tragic story. I
+have heard indeed of a Highland minister who was so displeased at the
+homage paid to the Prince's memory by some of his flock, that he threw
+at them the unanswerable question, "What will Prince Charlie do for you
+at the day of judgment?"
+
+I have had the curiosity to ask some of the Session Clerks of country
+parishes that were in the line of the insurgents' advance or retreat, if
+any references to the rebellion appear in the minutes of the year 1745.
+No references appear, as a rule, for that year; but, under 1746, there
+are brief accounts of church discipline being exercised in the case of a
+few illegitimate births,--the paternity being ascribed usually to _ane
+sodger_.[7]
+
+At Inverness and Dingwall there exist similar libraries of great range
+and excellence. The men show an interest in Miss Marie Corelli's works
+that is rather astonishing. Their hard and strenuous drill does not
+deprive them of a curiosity to know something about _Barabbas_ and _The
+Sorrows of Satan_. Sir Conan Doyle and Dr. Neil Munro are also great
+favourites, and deserve to be.
+
+A large number of the Inverness recruits come from the Long Island. They
+almost invariably require to be taken to the hospital a week or two
+after their arrival. Change of diet and new modes of life seem to upset
+them at first. For those who have a mind to improve themselves, there
+are abundant opportunities. The reading and recreation rooms are well
+appointed and comfortable. Altogether, the regular life, physical drill,
+and healthy tone of the barracks must have a most beneficial effect on
+the men.
+
+I am bound to say that I do not greatly admire the English style of the
+gentleman who composes the War Office placards that one sees at railway
+stations in the north. These are meant to allure country labourers to
+join the army, but the following piece of fatuous rhetoric must surely
+act rather as a deterrent than otherwise:--"Are you, the descendants of
+those who conquered India and carried the colours of the Gordon
+Highlanders through the Peninsula and at Waterloo, _content to sit at
+home, or be satisfied with dull labours in the fields or at the mills_,
+whilst the ranks of your own regiment are filled by strangers from the
+South?" I heard two freckled rustics, with difficulty and labour hard,
+spelling out the phrases of the foregoing sentence at the little station
+of Fyvie. They did not seem at all impressed by the fervent
+interrogation nor by this picture of prospective delights: "_Many of
+your countrymen have seen the wonders of the Indian Empire and enjoyed
+the soft calm of Malta, and of Ceylon, the Paradise of the Ancients._"
+It does not evince much knowledge of a ploughman's mind to seek to
+awaken his martial ardour by old myths about the Garden of Eden; nor is
+it specially alluring to him to mention, as the acme of glory, that he
+may distinguish himself so much as to gain "_thanks from both Houses of
+Parliament_." Such weak and watery declamation won't do for a country
+that has had thirty-eight years of compulsory education. If our War
+Office wishes to rouse patriotic feeling, it should cease to contrast
+"the dull labour of the fields" with "the soft calm of Malta": the
+veriest clown would not be caught by such chaff. It would be more to the
+point to send gratuitous copies of _The Barrack Room Ballads_ to all the
+village libraries.
+
+ [7] I have heard it maintained by some zealots, whom I greatly
+ esteem, that Gaelic is a highly _moral_ language, that the use of
+ it conduces to purity of life and thought, and that everyone
+ would be improved in tone by contact with its roots. Those
+ ministers who have charge of Session Records, chronicling events
+ that happened before English was known in the West, cannot
+ unreservedly corroborate these views.
+
+
+MORAY FIRTH.
+
+My various visits to the shores of the Moray Firth have convinced me
+that a man may enjoy the majesty and terror of the sea without embarking
+on a boat at all. All he need do is to take a ticket to Portsoy in the
+month of March, when the wind is snell and the clouds low. I have never
+seen a more grim or cruel-looking coast than that which stretches for
+miles east and west of Portsoy. One shudders even at the thought of
+those detestable, razor-edged rocks, tilted up at all angles, with the
+tide for ever boiling and hissing about them. Neither by land nor sea,
+at many parts of the coast, can you get to what might be reasonably
+called a beach. The so-called shore-road is high up on the hills, and
+gives a good view far out over the billows, but does not take the
+traveller's feet near the water at all. Ill-advised would he be who
+should strive to guide his skiff from the outer firth to any chance cove
+on the shore, for the uncouth crags, huge and sombre, would have no
+mercy on any timber jointed by the hand of man. Perhaps the summer sun
+would give a gentler appearance to the rocky and wave-beaten shore, but
+I am certain Mr. Swinburne would prefer to see it in March.
+
+The town of Portsoy in itself cannot be said to have much comeliness;
+the streets are irregular, the houses dismal, and the shops few. God
+has, as is meet, the best of the architecture, most of the churches
+being graceful and well-spired.
+
+About twenty minutes by rail from Portsoy is the trim and typical
+fishing village of Portknockie, high-raised on a hill, and with little
+protection from any wind that Aeolus may send out of his cavern. The
+population comes near 1,600 souls, and it is rare to find a native who
+is not called by one of the following surnames: _Mair_, _Wood_, _Munro_,
+_Pirrie_. I believe such a dearth of appellatives is the invariable rule
+in the fishing villages of the North Sea. To counteract the confusion
+that would inevitably arise, an agnomen or "tee-name" is usually
+appended. The Portknockie tee-names are _Mash_, _Deer_, _Doodoo_,
+_Bobbin_, and _Shavie_. Examples of postal addresses are--
+
+ John Wood (Bobbin), Portknockie.
+ Duncan Munro (Doodoo), "
+ Samuel Pirrie (Shavie), "
+ Daniel Mair (Mash), "
+
+I don't envy the young minister who, fresh from Lucian, has to read with
+solemnity a roll of such communicants.
+
+Between Portknockie and the sea-town of Cullen is a charming stretch of
+links and sea-sands. Over the broad Firth, as one looks north-west, may
+be faintly seen the hills of Sutherland and Caithness.
+
+It is pleasant to read books amid the scenery in which they were
+conceived, and among the people they portray. Those who spend their
+holidays at Cullen would act wisely in reading George Macdonald's novels
+there. No one has drawn the character of the Moray Firth fisherman so
+lovingly, beautifully, and sympathetically as he. After reading such a
+tale as the _Marquis of Lossie_ one looks upon places like Portknockie
+and the sea-town of Cullen with different eyes. The toilers of the deep
+that go forth on the waters from these seaboard shires are serious and
+moral men. Contact with the sea and the presence of danger at all hours,
+have made them alert, keen, and dexterous. Most of the crews carry a box
+of choice books with them for their odd hours of leisure when they go to
+the Yarmouth fishing. Let a stranger get into conversation with one or
+two of these hardy heroes, and he will be surprised at their
+intelligence and wide interests. He will certainly conclude that the
+young fisherman, Malcolm Macphail, whom Macdonald introduces in the
+novel mentioned, is no exaggeration, but true to the life.
+
+The sea-town of Cullen consists of some hundreds of houses closely
+huddled together just at the edge of the sea. The rank odour of wreck,
+tar, fishing-gear, and bait, pervades the air, and is effectually kept
+from corruption by the searching sea-breezes that are ever blowing. When
+not engaged on the water, the men are busy mending their nets, stitching
+their sails, making fast the seams of their craft and tarring the big
+inflated floaters that support the lines. They are quite ready to chat
+with a stranger and discuss their methods of working, their gains,
+mishaps, and partnerships.
+
+When the fishing season is over and the crews are known to be on the way
+home, the excitement among the women is intense. No Bourse ever tingled
+more feverishly with rumours and sinister fears than Sandhaven or
+Rosehearty or Seatown at such a crucial time. Costly nets may be riven,
+boats may be stove in by untoward accidents, or worse than all, fathers,
+husbands and brothers may be drowned on the road home to their loved
+ones. Rarely does a season pass without bringing sorrow to the heart of
+some waiting wife or sister.
+
+The joys, hopes, and fears of these maritime townships have been
+worthily made vocal by Dr. George Macdonald. He has done this with a
+grace and an artistic conception that raise his stories to a very high
+rank in pure literature. I am afraid Macdonald is not much read by the
+present generation: his stories are too long, too philosophical, perhaps
+too poetical, for the taste of to-day. Every book of his is saturated
+from beginning to end with the religion of the Gospels--a religion of
+love, beauty, tolerance, and sympathy.
+
+I am happy to say that I saw Dr. Macdonald once and heard him speak. His
+venerable aspect and chaste elocution made a powerful impression on all
+who heard him. His discourse could not be reported in cold print, for
+the flash of the mystic's eye, the human kindness that emanated from his
+whole being, and the felt emotion of his every tone could not be
+reproduced by any artifice known to the printer.
+
+The Forfarshire fishwives have quite a Dutch mania for cleanliness. On
+Saturdays they give their homes a complete overhaul, and the men are
+driven out of doors during the ceremony. What man could stay at home
+when his wife, supplied with a mop and a big pail of soapy water, is
+sousing the floor and the walls? Furniture is scrubbed and dusted, glass
+ornaments, porcelain hens, and shell-boxes have to be carefully wiped,
+grates and fire-irons must be rubbed to a glittering polish. These
+industrious women, panting with the enthusiasm of work, enjoy Saturday
+more than any other day of the week. The enjoyment springs from various
+causes. There is first the delight that comes from a vigorous exercise
+of the muscles. This pleasure is heightened by the knowledge that the
+work is for a good end, and that on Sunday the house will be
+resplendent, immaculate, and peaceful. It is not to be denied that the
+feeling of satisfaction at having evicted the husband is also an
+important item. When he comes home from discussing politics with his
+co-mates and brothers in exile, she will not fail to jibe him on the
+general worthlessness of his existence, and accuse him of intemperance.
+
+
+AMONG THE MINERS.
+
+A fishing village has a picturesqueness and a kinship with Nature and
+the hills, utterly lacking in a mining locality. The squalid rows of the
+latter, arranged in wretched, heart-breaking symmetry, are an offence to
+the landscape. Mud and filth cumber the door-steps, runnels of
+malodorous water ooze along the rows, ragged and ill-kempt bairns tumble
+about like little savages. A pitiful sight it is to see the black squads
+of colliers returning to their homes after a day in the damp bowels of
+the earth: greasy caps with little oil-lamps attached, wet, miry
+clothing and grimy faces, all make up a most saddening spectacle. The
+wages given to these poor fellows are miserably meagre, considering that
+after the age of forty-five, their limbs are stiffened with rheumatism
+and their lungs the seat of chronic asthma. It is not surprising that
+miners should be intemperate, and that their recreations should rise no
+higher than dog-racing and cock-fighting.
+
+It is very unpleasant to think that so much good bone and muscle is
+being ground and destroyed by work so brutalising and unnatural. Coal
+must be brought to the surface for the wants of civilisation, and in the
+process the collier is destroyed, body and soul. Society needs
+constantly to be reminded of its duties towards those who, in Helot
+fashion, clean the drains and work the mines. Those duties involve more
+than the distribution of tracts.
+
+I had the opportunity of speaking to a crowded meeting of miners in the
+county of Stirling quite recently, and was immensely pleased with the
+behaviour and close attention of the audience. Before the speaking
+began, the proceedings resembled a University Graduation Ceremony, that
+is, there was a great deal of whistling, cat-calling, and rowdy
+merriment. The audience kept on their caps, and many of them, disdaining
+the use of chairs and benches, squatted against the walls in the
+position so dear to subterranean workers. Once the lecture began, the
+resemblance to a University gathering ceased, for the colliers behaved
+like gentlemen. What subject, it may be asked, could possibly interest
+an assembly of illiterate miners? It so happens that, in Scotland, we
+have a great number of working-men poets, who have, in a homely but very
+graphic way, voiced the feelings of the labouring classes, and given fit
+expression to every joy and sorrow that men experience in this mortal
+round. These hodden-gray bards furnish abundance of material for giving
+even the humblest and most untrained mind a few glimpses of what is
+meant by literature. Burns has a broad and brawny humanity that appeals
+to all men, and, besides Burns, there are scores of major and minor
+warblers that are interesting, quotable, and full of grace.
+
+The wild and unruly manners of some mining districts, even at the
+present day, may partly be explained by remembering that up to the end
+of the eighteenth century, colliers were serfs and, as such, were not
+allowed to leave the mines and seek work elsewhere. When a pit was sold,
+the workers passed as a matter of course into the hands of the new
+proprietor. The son of a miner was compelled to follow the father's
+occupation.[8] Slavery fixed a brutalising mark on generation after
+generation that is not yet entirely erased. In the first half of the
+nineteenth century the knights of the shuttle--intellectual,
+disputatious, and lyrical--looked down with infinite contempt on the
+ignorant and boorish slaves of the pick. Poetry has, in consequence,
+little to say about the digger for coal. The song of "The Collier
+Laddie," attributed to Burns, is one of the very few pleasant pieces of
+verse associated with the miner.
+
+The Scotch mining villages of to-day contain a queer juxtaposition of
+nationalities, and the proportion of native colliers is becoming less
+and less. Thousands of Irish families from Ulster and Connaught are now
+settled permanently in the counties of Lanark, Stirling, and Ayr. The
+alien Pole, too, is to be found in the same regions uttering melodious
+oaths learned on the banks of the Vistula. To complete the welter,
+huckstering Orientals may be seen gliding about among the rows of
+houses, fulfilling prophecy and selling highly-coloured pictures of the
+Virgin Mary.
+
+ [8] In his book, _Edinburgh and its Neighbourhood_, Hugh Miller
+ tells the following story, on the authority of Robert
+ Chambers:--"Though legally only transferable with the works and
+ the minerals to which they were attached, cases occasionally
+ occurred in which miners were actually transferred _by sale_ from
+ one part of the country to another. During the early part of the
+ XIXth century, the son of an extensive coal-proprietor was
+ examining with a friend the pits of another proprietor, and
+ finding a collier whose speech resembled that of the colliers of
+ his own district, he inquired where he came from. 'Oh!' exclaimed
+ the man with surprise, 'd'ye no' ken me? _Do ye no' ken that your
+ faither sell't me for a powny?_'"
+
+
+HAND-LOOM WEAVING.
+
+The miner is still with us, but the weaver is almost obsolete in the
+Lowlands. You must search diligently for him. In Laurencekirk (a quaint
+village of one long street, in the shire of Forfar), and in similar
+out-of-the-way nooks, can still be faintly heard the music of the
+hand-loom. I went recently into a weaver's shop in Laurencekirk, and
+found three old men and one aged woman plying their shuttles. The oldest
+of the men was born four years after the battle of Waterloo, and there
+he sat, like a vision of the vanished years, striving to weave a few
+more yards of drugget before going to rejoin his contemporaries of the
+reign of George III. He told me there were once seven hundred hand-loom
+weavers in the place, and "_that young fellow_" said he, pointing to a
+wrinkled carle of eighty on the loom behind, "remembers it as well as I
+do."
+
+The industry of hand-loom weaving, which, a century ago, made every town
+in Scotland resonant with the din of shuttles, is thus almost a thing of
+the past, and the men who engaged in it have gone the way of their
+shoe-buckles, knee-breeches, and seventeen-hundred linen. Yet weavers
+were typical of all that was intellectual in Scottish life: every shop
+was in its way a miniature university, and every weaver a man who
+believed himself capable of giving Pitt a lesson or two on the
+management of the war, and Dundas a few hints on political economy. They
+had, indeed, far clearer views on politics than most of their
+legislators; from their ranks at a subsequent period the Chartist
+agitators--regrettably extreme as they were--were largely recruited; and
+it is not too much to say that the minds of many of our leading
+accredited reformers took the ply from these politicians of the loom.
+These men who, in a way so characteristic of Scotland, managed to make
+high-thinking subsist on homely fare, can never quite fade from memory
+while their tuneful poetical exponent, Tannahill, is read and enjoyed.
+In his works we have a page out of the past; and as we read his life and
+poems, we behold the Scotch village as it was a century ago; we see the
+old houses with their outside stairs, the antique boulder-paved cross,
+and the assemblies of aproned craftsmen discussing news much older than
+their ale.
+
+In Broadford, Skye, there is an old crofter who, in his early years,
+worked at the loom with Alexander Bain, late Professor in the University
+of Aberdeen. Half a century ago, John Stuart Mill said that Bain's
+erudition was encyclopdic. From long residence in France, I know that
+few British philosophers are better known than Bain (whose name the
+French amusingly pronounce to rhyme with _vin_). This old crofter tells
+how he used to chaff the future professor for invariably having a book
+in front of him as the shuttle was plied. Bain, by slow and careful
+work, overcame prejudice, and secured a high position among the leaders
+of thought. Long ago, those who had to sit for the London degrees used
+to regard him as the greatest thinker in Europe. When he retired from
+the examinership at London, students lost some of their old veneration
+for him, and when he married a second time, a Miss Barbara Something,
+they even ventured to make a logical joke on him, and say that he had
+been fascinated by _Barbara's perfect figure_. I know that many pupils
+of our public schools, in love with football more than syntax, often
+regretted that Bain ever composed his _English Grammar_. No book (unless
+perhaps Morell's _Analysis_) has ever been more cordially execrated, and
+no book ever more richly deserved it, for though, like Aberdeen granite,
+it is stately and impressive, it is also ruthless, cold, and implacable.
+The draught may be wholesome and medicinal, but there is no honey on the
+rim of the cup.
+
+
+PROFESSOR BLACKIE IN THE HIGHLANDS.
+
+One hears a great deal of Professor Blackie in the North and West, and
+no wonder. He was a laughing, jocular, impressionable man, who hobnobbed
+with landlords and amiably slapped drivers and policemen on the back,
+throwing a Gaelic greeting at them as he did so. His faculty for writing
+poetry is seen in many a guidebook; Oban, Inverness, Pitlochry, and
+numberless other places, have had their beauties celebrated by this
+animated writer. He was a good friend to the Highlands--studied Gaelic
+most arduously, translated some of the finest of the Celtic bards,
+worked assiduously for the establishment of a Celtic Chair in Edinburgh,
+spoke many a good word for the crofters--in fact, did everything well
+except what he was paid to do, viz., teach Greek to his students. Grave
+D.D.'s could not understand or condone his cantrips. I have been assured
+that on one occasion, when Professor in the College of Aberdeen, he
+actually _stood on his head_ before a class of students. Mr. Barrie has
+given a very amusing and quite unexaggerated account of the Professor's
+normal demeanour in Edinburgh. Blackie's text books of _Greek Dialogues_
+are full of the most waggish remarks.
+
+The landlady of Kinlochewe Hotel gave some lessons in Gaelic to this
+convulsive old scholar. He would come in with a Celtic Bible below his
+arm, and, opening the sacred volume, read a chapter or two at a terrific
+rate of speed, and whistle triumphantly when he had finished. Highland
+folk did not care to converse with Blackie for three reasons: (1) he
+spoke too quickly for the leisurely and composed conversation of the
+Gael; (2) his pronunciation was bad, and people did not like to tell him
+so or correct him--(no one ever pronounced Gaelic to perfection who did
+not get the language with his mother's milk); (3) he was fond of using
+literary words, taken from the older bards, in his ordinary
+conversation; now, such words are obsolete in every-day talk and quite
+unfamiliar to crofters and cottars. In the Highlands, Blackie's English
+was better understood than his Gaelic.
+
+Blackie was undoubtedly a very able scholar--not, indeed, of that minute
+burrowing kind famous in Germany, but rather of the class that delights
+in the literature and vivid force of a language. He _spoke_ Latin and
+Greek, and held views on the teaching of these tongues that seemed more
+eccentric in his time than they do now. He declared that the linguistic
+achievement of which he was proudest was his mastery, such as it was, of
+the language of the Gael.
+
+It affords me pleasure in the retrospect to think of old Blackie at a
+distribution of prizes to school-children in a town of the West some
+years before his death. During the chairman's opening remarks the merry
+old man continued to whistle like a mavis. When the chairman sat down,
+Blackie embraced him and called him fellow-sinner. Some recitations
+followed from the children, one of which was Burns's "Address to a
+Haggis." When the young elocutionist came to the lines--
+
+ "Till a' their weel-swall'd kites belyve
+ Are bent like drums."
+
+Blackie rolled in his chair, held his sides and uproariously expressed
+his approbation. Then came the distribution of prizes, during which the
+Grand Old Boy made some pun or quaint remark on each of the children's
+names, as he presented the books: _"Miss Minnie Morrow_: never put off
+till to-morrow what you can do to-day; _James Glen_: be a real genuine
+_Glen_ all through life, not a _valet_ or flunkey; _William Lindsay_:
+Willie, my lad, imitate your ancestors at Otterburn: 'The Lindsays flew
+like fire about till a' the fray was done'; _Mary Black_: black but
+comely like the daughters of Jerusalem," and so on, in a bird-witted,
+half-daft way that the audience contemplated with benevolent wonder.
+
+
+NOTE ON INVERNESS SURNAMES, ETC.
+
+Let me mention here a very useful and interesting piece of philology
+that was done by Dr. Macbain in 1895. That eminent scholar, working on
+the _Inverness Directory_, analysed the names occurring there, explained
+them on sound principles of etymology, and gave percentages of Celtic
+and Saxon surnames in the Highland capital.
+
+Roughly speaking, the _Directory_ of 1894-1895 had 5,000 single entries,
+and _750 distinct surnames_. Of these surnames, only 110 are pure
+Gaelic. About 70 per cent. of the natives are, however, supposed to be
+of Highland descent.
+
+Dr. Macbain points out that certain Highland clans have names that are
+not Celtic: _Grant_ is from the French "grand"; _Fraser_ from the French
+"fraise," a strawberry (the Frasers have a strawberry in their
+coat-of-arms); _Chisholm_ is English and means "gravel-holm,"--the
+Anglo-Saxon _ceosol_ (pebble) is preserved in _Chesil Beach_ and
+_Chiselhurst_; _MacLeod_ signifies "son of Ljot"; and _ljotr_ is the
+Norse word for "ugly." _Campbell_ is probably Norman-French, though Dr.
+Macbain suggests _cam-beul_, Gaelic for "crooked mouth." In olden times
+an external conqueror would sometimes subdue a district, and call the
+natives after his noble self.
+
+The commonest names in the town are Fraser, Macdonald, Mackenzie,
+Macintosh, Ross, Cameron, and Munro. About 1,200 of the population have
+one or other of the first three names. The Frasers are an easy first,
+and form more than 9 per cent. of the population.
+
+_John_, _Alexander_, and _William_, are the commonest Christian names in
+Inverness. "It is remarkable and indeed regrettable," says Dr. Macbain,
+"that the Gaelic Christian names (Donald, Duncan, Kenneth, Murdoch, and
+Angus), are not higher in the list."
+
+The name of the first recorded inhabitant of Inverness (A.D. 1200) is
+Geoffrey Blount, a feudal warrior no doubt (French _blond_). In the
+thirteenth century we have the names _Noreys_, _Grant_, and _Hay_. In
+the fourteenth century the leading name is Pilch, derived from
+_peluche_, the French for "plush." In the fifteenth century, _Reid_,
+_Vaus_, and _Cuthbert_ are prominent citizens. _Vaus_ is said to mean
+"of the vales," _i.e._, _de Vallibus_; _Reid_ is Scotch for "red"; and
+_Cuthbert_ is pure Lowland. Evidently the leading men were aliens and
+interlopers.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+MUSIC, SPEECHES, AND LITERATURE.
+
+ Scotch a reading nation--Hardships of students in old
+ days--Homer in Scalloway--When education ends--Objects of
+ chapter--Music--M.P.'s--Rural depopulation--Its
+ causes--Emigration--Village halls--The moon--A lecture in
+ Islay--Mental and material wealth--Real greatness--A Highland
+ laird on literature--Varieties of chairmen--"Coming to the
+ point"--Moral obligation--Compliment to Paisley--Oratory at
+ Salen--Lecture in a dungeon--Surprises--A visit to the
+ Borders--Tarbolton--Scotch language--Choice books--The
+ essayists--A Banff theory--Goldsmith in Gaelic--_Biblia
+ abiblia_--Favourites for the road--Horace--Shakespeare's
+ Sonnets--Xenophon--French literature and journalism--Romance and
+ Augustanism--Victorian writers--Celt and Saxon.
+
+
+SCOTCH A READING NATION.
+
+I think it was Mr. Holyoake, the veteran lecturer, who, in a volume of
+reminiscences, declared he found the audiences in Scotland more
+intelligent than elsewhere. I cannot draw such comparisons, for I have
+not spoken often south of the Tweed; this I can say with assurance,
+however, that no one need hesitate to address an audience of Scotch
+peasants on a topic of literary interest. Predestination and such
+religious trifles may stir them to disrespectful heat, but pure
+literature invariably draws forth their cool and critical attention.
+Probably no nation has ever devoted so much attention to books, and, as
+the result of this characteristic, Scotland, considering its size and
+population, has produced far more than its proportion of eminent men. At
+the Reformation epoch, when the comforts of a Lowland cottage would be
+little in advance of those in a present-day Uist croft, writers like
+George Buchanan and his fellows of the _Delici Poetarum Scotorum_ made
+the excellence of Scotch scholarship known in every university of
+Europe. Buchanan was really a typical Caledonian man of
+genius--open-eyed, sagacious, patriotic, and cosmopolitan--and I can
+strongly recommend the occasional perusal of his Latin Psalms to all
+modern readers who wish to keep their feelings of reverence fresh and
+prevent their Latin quantities from getting amorphous.
+
+
+HARDSHIPS OF STUDENTS IN OLD DAYS.
+
+Those who think highly of the Scotch intellect, point with pride to the
+fact that for many a year the Prime Minister, the leader of the
+Opposition, and the Archbishop of Canterbury all hailed from the North.
+For my own part, I am chiefly interested in cases where eminence has
+resulted from the cultivation of literature on a little oatmeal. A few
+months ago, I had the pleasure of chatting, over a cup of tea, with the
+suave old gentleman who combines the postmastership of Dunvegan with the
+office of factor to the Macleod of Macleod. He held me spell-bound for
+an afternoon as he narrated in graphic language the hardships of the
+Skye students in former times. Many a Skye youth, I was told, bent on
+studying the humanities at Aberdeen, would mount his sheltie, traverse
+thereon the rough roads of his misty island as far as Kyleakin, cross
+the ferry there, ride on east through the ben-shadowed track of Glen
+Moriston, and finally bear down on the streets of the Granite City.
+There the o'erlaboured sheltie would be sold to pay the matriculation
+fees.
+
+
+HOMER IN SCALLOWAY.
+
+Many little out-of-the-way townships in insular Scotland contain
+scholars who would find themselves quite at home among a set of college
+dons. In the course of my travels in Shetland I came to the tiny village
+of Scalloway, and while standing on the pier gazing alternately at the
+confusion of sea and island, and at the grim old ruined castle where
+Earl Patrick, the wicked viceroy, once resided, I heard a conversation
+on geology being carried on between a tall and brawny shopman and some
+sailors. The latter, who were on board a ship, shouted their replies
+over a few yards of water to the shopman, who was on the pier near me. I
+was interested in the men's talk, which had to do with the subsidence of
+the land at this part of the coast. One of the sailors alleged that his
+grandmother's cabbage-patch was now covered by the water on which his
+boat was floating. The big shopman, turning to me, quoted the well-known
+passage of Tennyson (everyone can repeat it) of the sea flowing where
+the tree used to grow. "O Earth, what changes thou hast seen." This
+quotation led to a literary talk in which he remarked that of all poets
+he preferred Homer. "What translator do you like best?" I enquired.
+"Blackie's," he replied, "as being the most faithful to the original.
+But I rarely read a translation, '_I prefer Homer in his own Greek._'"
+This remark made by one whose fingers were glistening with
+herring-scales, came to me as a pleasant surprise. Later on in the day,
+I visited his house and saw his fine library and his splendid selection
+of classical books. Not many teachers of my acquaintance have a better
+array of the editions of Homer. He was not one of your ignorant
+collectors who know only the outside of what they buy. He had read over
+the whole forty-eight books of the text again and again, and could
+discuss knotty passages in most interesting and original fashion. His
+memory was evidently an excellent one. He informed me that most of his
+reading was done in the early morning, and that he found five hours'
+sleep quite adequate. I have a most agreeable recollection of my
+interview with this self-taught scholar. I believe there are many like
+him in not a few outlandish nooks of Scotland,--men who read books not
+for any material advantages that result from their studies, but simply
+and solely for the intense pleasure that comes from communion with the
+masterminds of bygone generations.
+
+Travel in remote districts of Britain reveals the fact that our
+provincials, whenever they have the chance, are a studious and
+thoughtful race. The isolation and monotony of life in many parts are
+bound to drive men to study and reflection if the means for these are at
+hand. Sisyphus himself had hardly less variety of occupation than some
+of our shepherds whose work on the hills involves long absences from
+social intercourse. To such men (whose life is suggestive of a repeating
+decimal) the access to an ell or two of good books often means mental
+salvation. Nothing is so melancholy as to find a countryman of brains
+who has never had the opportunity of cultivating his mind in such a way
+as to eliminate prejudice and widen the range of interest.
+
+
+WHEN EDUCATION ENDS.
+
+I am sometimes inclined to think that many of our rural clergymen,
+intent on shielding their congregations from pestilent doctrine and
+latitudinarism, are actuated by much the same spirit as the Sultan Omar
+when he set fire to the great Library at Alexandria. The Bible is no
+doubt the best of books, and it may be that the Confession of Faith
+comes next: but when these have got their share, there still remains the
+religious duty of educating the intellect by a wide perusal of the
+inspired apostles of secular literature. A Highland teacher, who
+presided at one of the lectures in the north, expressed himself very
+appositely thus on the subject of education: "The supposition that
+education is over when a boy leaves school, is far too prevalent," he
+said. "Education properly considered comes to an end when the last
+breath of life is drawn. Edward Young in his _Night Thoughts_ says:
+'Were man to live coeval with the sun, the patriarch-pupil would be
+learning still.' Young was undoubtedly right: some of the most forceful
+and penetrating lessons of life are given to us long after we have cast
+our text-books into some dusty corner, never to be opened more. In our
+early days, we cannot choose our own teachers, and there is often a good
+deal of force and constraint. The delightful thing about our education
+in mature life is that we have the selection of our own masters. There
+is no compulsion whatever. I am convinced that for everyone of us there
+is some one author whose works will act as medicine for the mind and be
+an unfailing tonic in all conditions of the soul."
+
+
+OBJECT OF CHAPTER.
+
+I intend to devote this chapter to a description of a few of the
+speeches delivered by some of the speakers at such literary evenings in
+various parts of the country. After I had said my say, I sometimes
+invited an expression of opinion. Almost invariably someone responded to
+the invitation, with the object of asking a question, expressing
+dissent, or intimating concurrence. I do not recollect a single meeting
+out of hundreds that could be called monotonous. It did not in the
+slightest detract from the interest of a meeting that many of the
+remarks erred on the score of irrelevancy. The attention never flagged
+from first to last, and it was no uncommon thing for the proceedings to
+last for over three hours. In giving typical speeches delivered by
+crofters, lairds, tradesmen, and clergymen, I mean to indicate to the
+reader _the subjects that are of interest to our provincial population,
+their attitude to questions of literature and social life, and
+incidentally the great amount of humour that still exists in the world_.
+
+
+MUSIC.
+
+The free and unconventional character of these meetings was perhaps seen
+best of all in the musical part of the proceedings, which was always
+arranged locally. Usually the songs were well-known Highland or Lowland
+airs, in many cases so exquisitely rendered that it was quite evident
+there had been much previous preparation. When my opinion was asked
+beforehand, I invariably recommended national melodies. It was always a
+treat to get a Gaelic song or two well rendered. At Acharacle (a little
+place at the far end of Lochshiel) Mr. Rudd's piper gave some fine
+Highland tunes, which evoked great enthusiasm. Personally I prefer the
+pipes to every other instrument, for this reason, that even if I don't
+understand all the music, I can appreciate the scenic effects. The
+Acharacle piper was a fine specimen of the Celt, and his get-up was
+glorious:
+
+ "He screwed his pipes and gart them skirl
+ Till roof and rafters a' did dirl."
+
+Sometimes the phonograph formed part of the musical programme. I do not
+approve of this demoralising instrument except to a very limited extent.
+The cylinders usually gyrate with records of fatuous music-hall songs,
+unedifying coster-airs and farcical speeches. The _vox humana_
+interpreting national melodies is infinitely better. What vigour and
+illustrative expression the islanders can throw into their songs! I have
+but to shut my eyes to see the policeman of Staffin interpreting "The
+Bonnie House o' Airlie." When his big, manly voice threw out the
+terrible threat, "_I'll no' leave a staunin' stane in Airlie_," his eyes
+shot fire, his teeth gleamed, and his ponderous fist came thundering
+down on the table in front of him.
+
+I still remember with infinite pleasure the strains of Mr. Cameron's
+Poolewe Choir, heard in Gairloch school-house. That energetic and
+complaisant conductor brought his clear-throated minstrels over to the
+meeting in a brake. It was a luxury to see them with their white robes
+and tartan sashes, while in front of them stood their genial leader clad
+in kilts. The Gaelic _Mod_, which is now a regular institution in the
+land, is bound to do splendid service towards keeping alive the fine old
+music of the North. The Poolewe Choir, I am happy to say, won much
+distinction at the _Mods_ of both Inverness and Greenock. _There is
+great need for choirs, and great need, also, for innocent songs of a
+secular character._ Before I spoke to the people of Eigg, I requested
+the teacher to arrange, if possible, for a musical programme. The reply
+staggered me: "No man, woman, or child in this island would for a moment
+even dream of singing a worldly song. We are all converted here, except
+a few benighted Catholics. The vain, fleeting joys of this world are as
+dross to us. The missionary has a modulator, and he trains the young men
+and women in the sol-fa so that they may sing Sankey's hymns in all the
+parts." I was dreadfully floored by this answer, and could only mutter
+mechanically, "_Dross_," "_Missionary_,'" "_Modulator_," in a vain
+effort to seize the situation. Conversion I understood and approved of,
+but where, in the wee island of Eigg, were the vain, fleeting joys?
+There is no public-house in the place, and little temptation of any
+kind. The most disquieting item of all was the modulator: I have not
+seen one for a long time, and am not sorry, for there is nothing which
+so spoils the appearance of a wall nor anything so dismal as practising
+scales. A compromise was come to, and it was arranged that some Gaelic
+readings, containing a dash of religion, should take the place of songs,
+and give some variety to the evening's proceedings.
+
+At some of the meetings there was perhaps an _excess of realism_.
+Bottom, in "A Midsummer Night's Dream," wishing to avoid excitement and
+fear among the ladies when he is acting the part of Pyramus, says:
+"Write me a prologue; and let the prologue seem to say, we will do no
+harm with our swords, and that Pyramus is not killed indeed; and for the
+more better assurance tell them that I, Pyramus, am not Pyramus, but
+Bottom the weaver: this will put them out of fear." I thought of
+Bottom's extreme delicacy when I was present at a meeting in Tomatin not
+long ago. An outstanding feature of the evening's proceedings was the
+vividly dramatic rendering of the song, "Macpherson swore a feud," by
+the local postman. The latter, a big, burly man, was extremely
+formidable in his Highland attire. When he came to the verse dealing
+with the untimely decease of Macpherson, he whipped the dagger out of
+its sheath, flourished it as in act to kill, and terrified some of the
+lady visitors by his vivid suiting of the action to the word. They were
+as much astonished at the flash of the _skian dhu_ as the Commons were
+when Burke threw a dagger on the floor of the House.
+
+A musical treat is sometimes got in the most unexpected places. I was
+particularly struck with a children's glee-party in Jura (a rough island
+known chiefly for its sterile Paps). The bairns admirably rendered Ben
+Jonson's delightful ditty, "Drink to me only with thine eyes," and the
+Shakespearian song, "Where the bee sucks, there suck I." In such islands
+a musical teacher is a valuable asset. Let me add that all the libraries
+have been gratuitously supplied with fine collections of Scottish music.
+
+At Acha, in the island of Coll, four sturdy farm-maidens, ruddy with
+health and robed in white, gave various English and Gaelic airs in
+admirable style. A divinity student sang a _coster song_ (think of this
+in an island of craggy shores, gulls, wild-swans, and curlews!), and on
+being encored, he gave a "Cradle Lullaby," and by gently swaying a chair
+backwards and forwards on the platform, he strove to illustrate the
+movements of childhood's earliest receptacle.
+
+A military gentleman--an ex-major--in proposing a vote of thanks, one
+evening, to the singers, said he had sung a song but once in his life,
+the occasion being his admission to the Royal Engineers, thirty years
+before. It was a standing law in that body that every novice should sing
+a song or drink a mixture consisting of whisky, ink, and cayenne pepper.
+He chose the former alternative, and at the end of the first verse the
+Royal Engineers had all left the room in a demoralised condition!
+
+
+M.P.'s.
+
+At one of the meetings in Argyleshire, I had the joy of speaking under
+the chairmanship of the glib and able Mr. Ainsworth, M.P. for that
+county. Among the votes of thanks was one for the chairman: it made a
+profound impression upon me, as much by its form as by its substance: "I
+hope, Mr. Ainsworth, that you will take better care of your health in
+future (hear, hear). No, no, you are not taking care of your health at
+all (laughter). We all expect you to be Prime Minister, and that is the
+reason we would like you not to roam about so much and undermine your
+constitution (cheers). You are always travelling. You are like the
+Wandering Jew. No! you are like a little bird on a bough. To-day, we see
+you on a tree near the door; to-morrow, we see you on a tree a hundred
+miles away" (great cheering). Mr. Ainsworth kindly promised that, in
+view of his destiny, he would cease to range around the country so
+indiscriminately.
+
+Unfortunately, I have never met Mr. Galloway Weir, but I have heard much
+of the zeal of himself and his agents. The following story hinges on the
+fact that _Weir_ and _wire_ have the same pronunciation in Lewis. An old
+illiterate crofter came to record his vote by word of mouth, and told
+the polling sheriff: "I will vote for the right man, yes, yes, it's the
+right man I will be voting for this time." "That may be," said the
+sheriff, "but unless you will tell me his name, you can't vote." "Well,
+if you must know," said the old man, handing the sheriff a
+stocking-wire, "_I will be voting for the man that has the same name as
+that_."
+
+
+RURAL DEPOPULATION.
+
+The mention of that eminent politician brings to my mind the frequent
+references made at these meetings to the painful subject of rural
+depopulation. Everyone regrets the exodus of young men from the country
+to the town, a practice which depletes the rural villages and deprives
+the land of the strong arms that should find employment in working it.
+The ministers are not without hope that the rush city-wards may be
+checked by improving the conditions of country life, rendering it more
+attractive to the young, and enlisting the aid of Government in the
+scheme of small-holdings. Motives of health, morality, and patriotism,
+are all concerned in the fostering of a hardy peasantry. Everything that
+makes country life attractive to young men must operate to make them
+regret to quit it. I wish I could reproduce textually all the strong and
+astounding speeches I have heard in the Highlands on this subject of
+depopulation.
+
+"We often hear," said a farmer, "that it's healthy men and women that
+make up the true wealth of a country, and if that is true, Scotland, for
+all its increase of riches, is every year growing poorer. How can the
+people left in the glens continue to propagate a hardy race, if all the
+young healthy bloods leave for the cities and settle there? I am afraid
+that both brain and brawn will continue to get feebler among us, unless
+the Government give some kind of inducement for the peopling of the land
+with bien, self-respecting men _that have a bit land of their own_. It's
+impossible to get farm-hands round Tayside nowadays, and it's not to be
+wondered at. Suppose a young man stays here, what prospect has he, what
+incentive has he to work? At the age of seventeen he has earned the
+highest wage he will ever earn. Thereafter his life is a slow,
+monotonous serfdom; he has no hope whatever of rising, he is doomed to
+live from hand to mouth all the years of his existence. But put before
+that young man the hope that he can _become the owner_ of a morsel of
+land, however small, and you put life and pride into him. He will work
+in that case with intelligent purpose, knowing that every penny he saves
+is to be employed in making him a landed proprietor, and every detail of
+experience he gains will tell in the future for his direct benefit. Our
+young fellows don't really want to leave the land and go to die
+prematurely (as a great many of them do) in the slums of Glasgow and
+Edinburgh. They go to the cities because there is at least _a chance_ of
+bettering their lot there, a chance which is entirely lacking at home.
+Some of them go away to the colonies and thrive as farmers there. I
+rejoice to hear of such success; but I rejoice with trembling when I
+think how much of Britain's best manhood has to leave her shores to till
+Transatlantic fields, while so much land at home remains unoccupied. By
+and by, if you want to see a good specimen of the Highlander, you will
+have to go to Canada. Sooner or later, and the sooner the better, the
+vigorous action of Government will be demanded to remedy the present
+iniquities of land-tenure, and to put a stop to the compulsory
+degradation of those who till the soil."
+
+
+ITS CAUSES.
+
+The present seems to be an opportune time for directing public attention
+to some remarkable changes that are taking place in the population of
+the rural districts of Scotland. A great deal of speaking and writing
+has been expended of late years in lamenting the depopulation of the
+country. Young fellows do not like the monotony of village and farm
+life: they prefer the stir and excitement of the cities. Such things are
+not to be wondered at. Town life has always had an attraction for those
+whose energy requires a wide scene of action. Energy and ambition go
+together, and it is the possessor of such qualities that makes the
+successful city man. The country does not give scope enough for their
+adequate display.
+
+The railway train and the inventions of modern times are both answerable
+for a certain amount of depopulation. I believe the condition of
+farm-hands has been markedly improved of late years. They have now a
+shorter day, higher wages, better food, and superior house
+accommodation. Mechanical appliances have made farm-work lighter and
+more agreeable. The drudgery of the threshing flail is now unknown; the
+hook and the scythe have given way to the reaping-machine: in every way
+hand labour has been lightened. But it is precisely this machinery that
+lessens the need for large numbers of agricultural labourers. It is also
+notorious that shoemakers, tailors, and blacksmiths, are not so much
+required in the country as they used to be. Ready-made shoes and clothes
+are brought by rail from the city, and local tradesmen are reduced in
+numbers.
+
+
+EMIGRATION.
+
+There seems to be in our day a competition among the Governments of the
+New World, which of them can lure away the greatest number of our
+peasantry. The latest candidate for our rural youth is the State of
+Virginia, the legislature of which has voted a large sum of money to
+pay the expenses of two delegates, who are at work in the East of
+Scotland, hunting for likely emigrants. These Virginian delegates--Mr.
+Koiner and Col. Talliafer--paid the passage-money of over a hundred
+stalwart lads from Lochtayside in the autumn of 1906.
+
+No one who has the opportunity of travelling through Scotland can fail
+to be struck by the absolute frenzy for emigration that exists
+everywhere. There is a constant stream of emigrants from all our
+agricultural counties to the wide plains of Canada. That great colony is
+being "boomed" in a most energetic way. In Sutherlandshire, I saw a
+large van, with placards and specimens of Canadian produce, being driven
+through Strath Halladale, to tempt the crofters over the deep. I have
+also, at the railway stations in the North, beheld heart-rending scenes
+of parting as the young fellows said good-bye to their parents and
+friends:
+
+ "Who could guess
+ If ever more should meet these mutual eyes."[9]
+
+ [9] Such emigration has, of course, nothing to do with the
+ systematic work instituted by Mr. William Quarrier of Bridge of
+ Weir. That devout philanthropist occupied himself with the waifs
+ and strays of Glasgow, taught them trades, and sent large numbers
+ of them to the colonies to learn farming. One Saturday, in 1907,
+ I saw a hundred and twenty of these lads, who were on Bridge of
+ Weir platform waiting for the train. The scene was pathetic in
+ the extreme--enough to melt a heart of nether millstone. Many of
+ the lads were in tears as they answered the roll-call for the
+ last time. In the afternoon they (and over two thousand
+ emigrants) left the Clyde, amid sobs, cheers, and the waving of
+ multitudinous handkerchiefs. These boys go, in the first
+ instance, to Brockville, in the province of Ontario, whence they
+ are distributed out among the Canadian farmers.
+
+
+VILLAGE HALLS.
+
+In most of the places I have visited, the school-house is the only
+available hall for public meetings. Now, a school-room, with its small,
+cramped seats, its lack of platform, and its defective ventilation, is
+not well adapted for large gatherings. No man likes to speak _up to the
+waist in audience_, under a low roof, and in stifling air. If less money
+were spent on needless church-building, every district in the Highlands
+might have its hall for purposes of recreation, reading, and lecturing.
+As it is, the churches should everywhere be used far more than they are
+for secular gatherings of an elevating kind. Religion suffers greatly
+from the closing of churches to concerts and lectures.
+
+The kindness of local lairds is nowhere more pleasantly shown than in
+the giving of funds towards the creation of village halls and recreation
+rooms. The little village of Alness has a splendid Working Men's Club,
+furnished with everything requisite for pleasure and
+profit--smoking-room, billiard-room, and reading-room. This Club owes
+its existence to the generosity of Mr. Perrins--known everywhere for the
+excellence of his famous condiment--who has an estate in the vicinity.
+Kiltarlity and Beauly have, for similar instances of discreet bounty,
+permanent reason for blessing the name of Mr. Phipps. Other instances
+that occur to me are the spacious Dunbar Hall in Auldearn, due to the
+kindness of the family of which the genial Sir Frederick Dunbar, Bart.,
+is the present representative, and the Astley Hall in Arisaig, named
+after the family so long associated with that charming West Highland
+village.
+
+It must not be supposed that the natives do not thankfully welcome such
+work on their behalf. Many of the townships, it is true, have had
+libraries and halls for many a year, and have established these entirely
+on their own initiative; but outside help and enterprise stimulate local
+effort in a way often impossible otherwise, as the natives themselves
+admit. At Nethy Bridge, a fine hall, with club-room, has been recently
+erected, largely owing to the enthusiasm of a London lady resident in
+the vicinity. She was distressed to see the young fellows of the place
+loafing aimlessly about at night, and proceeded to organise some
+rational amusement for them. Her philanthropy has been greatly
+appreciated. At Kilmartin, the jubilee of Queen Victoria was signalized
+by the erection of the Poltalloch Victoria Hall--an enterprise in which
+laird and crofter alike willingly co-operated. It is in this hall that
+the Library is established. Mr. Dixon, the erudite historian of
+Gairloch, set aside the profits of his book to help in furnishing the
+reading-room at Poolewe, in Wester Ross.
+
+When a rural community has a library and a place to meet in, a literary
+society is, as a rule, soon formed. Such a society, founded for an
+elevating and educational purpose, forms a common meeting-ground for all
+sects, schisms, and parties. I am aware that in most towns of any size
+there are such societies in connection with the special churches. In the
+Highlands it is better to eliminate the denominational element, for the
+very good reason that, the population being small, no one of the too
+numerous churches would furnish a representative enough roll of
+members. I was charmed to find that the little town of Portree, of which
+the population is not much more than eight hundred, has a fine literary
+society, established on the broad and rational lines I have indicated.
+As might be expected from the intellectual advancement and strong
+literary bent of the inhabitants, the lectures given and the subjects
+discussed at the meetings of the Portree society are of a more erudite
+nature than anywhere else in the West Highlands. Most of the Portree
+clergymen and professional men are on the list of members.
+
+
+THE MOON.
+
+Very few city people pay much attention to the moon: in the country that
+luminary has to be constantly deferred to when arrangements are being
+made for social meetings, dances, or lectures. When many of the audience
+have to come six, or even ten miles by land or water, light is needed,
+and light from above is best. It increases a lecturer's pride to be told
+that the plashing of oars over there on the argent face of the waters is
+an indication that some of his audience are coming from the other side
+of the loch. At the conclusion of many of the lectures, I have seen half
+a dozen traps, boats, and bicycles speeding away merrily in different
+directions. But for the bright moon, the audience would have been
+limited to the immediate neighbourhood of the place of meeting.
+
+It has often happened that my hotel was as much as seven miles from the
+lecture hall. As closed carriages are rare in certain districts, and as
+it frequently rains--when it is not snowing--in the West and North of
+Scotland, I had many good opportunities for gauging my powers of
+endurance. The road from Killin to Ardeonaig is a fair example of a
+Highland highway:--
+
+ "Rough, hilly roads, that stain the spokes with mire;
+ Thick folds of ebon night on loch and law;
+ The moan of breezes wailing through the shaw
+ Like the weird plaints of an olian lyre:
+ And intermittently through the clouds, the fire
+ Of lightning streaks the night with glitter and awe,
+ And lapses swiftly in the dismal maw
+ Of darkness, 'mid the din of thunder dire.
+ But to relieve the sad night's sullenness,
+ And clear the heavens for the timid moon,
+ The straight-descending rain riots like hail
+ For a fierce hour, in prodigal excess;
+ Anon the clouds unmuffle, and the pale,
+ Thin crescent of Diana gilds night's noon."
+
+The place of meeting at Ardeonaig was on the shores of Loch Tay, and the
+main road from Killin is high up and does not go near the water at this
+point. After alighting from the machine, I had to descend to the
+loch-side by a steep, miry, and circuitous road through a wood. As the
+"thin crescent of Diana," alluded to above, was not adequate to light my
+footsteps here, I struck some futile vestas, which the dripping leaves
+at once extinguished. Two elders, swinging lanterns and calling me by
+name, by and by divided the night in my vicinity. Their appearance was
+welcome, for the torrential rain had made the track one continuous
+slippery quagmire. The hospitality of the Ardeonaig minister speedily
+banished all recollection of the "sad night's sullenness."[10]
+
+A more trying, because a longer, drive is that from Kilmun to Strachur,
+by way of Loch Eck. In the leafy month of June, nothing could be finer;
+but in a winter blizzard, one's appreciation of the glory of nature is
+somewhat less than rapturous. I mention the Strachur meeting because it
+was graced by the presence of a large contingent of local volunteers in
+civilian attire. The War Office ought to know that the inclement weather
+prevented these warriors appearing in their uniform.
+
+ [10] It is not often possible, in the _islands_, to get anything
+ but a trap or open coach. In Lochranza, on a day of dreary,
+ disheartening rain, I found on enquiry that there was no covered
+ vehicle to be had except the _hearse_.
+
+
+A LECTURE IN ISLAY.
+
+The westerly leg of Islay contains one or two places that have public
+libraries sent from Paisley: Portnahaven and Port Charlotte on the sea,
+and Gruinart inland and more to the north. It is a weird experience to
+drive along the shore road from Bridgend on a night of pitiless rain,
+and see the heavy mists broken every now and then by the far-reaching
+flash of the Portnahaven lighthouse. Equally weird is it to lecture in a
+school with no lamps (as happened at Port Charlotte). At eight o'clock I
+could see the faces of the audience well enough, but by and by the room
+became quite dark, and I seemed to be addressing an audience of silent
+and attentive ghosts. After I had finished, a Phantom arose in the far
+corner of the room and proposed a vote of thanks; and thereafter a Voice
+somewhere pronounced the benediction. Then there was a movement of feet,
+and the shadowy spectres trooped out into the night. The foolish virgins
+had no oil in their lamps; in Port Charlotte, there was neither oil
+_nor_ lamps.[11]
+
+ [11] Islay is yearly becoming better known. It is an undulating
+ island, covered with rich meadow-land, the home of horses, sheep,
+ and cattle. There should not be a hungry man within its
+ circumference. Under the old lairds--the Campbells--there were
+ 14,000 inhabitants, now there are 6000.
+
+
+SOME SPEECHES.
+
+
+MENTAL AND MATERIAL WEALTH.
+
+I never heard the difference between mental and material wealth more
+forcibly expressed than by an old Perthshire shoemaker. "Supposing,"
+said he, "that I had fifty pounds in my pocket at the present moment.
+What a wild supposition, but good enough for an illustration! What
+inference would you draw from me having that sum of money? This, namely,
+that no other person in the universe has the same fifty pounds. The same
+pair of boots cannot be worn by two persons at the same time. The same
+guinea cannot be twice spent by the same man. It is different with
+spiritual things, and with works of art. Scores of people can
+simultaneously enjoy a great painting or a fine piece of music: _my_
+enjoyment does not interfere with _yours_, indeed, it is more than
+likely that my enjoyment will be greatly increased from knowing that
+other people are enjoying it as I am. Then again, you can't eat the same
+loaf of bread twice: but you can return a hundred times to the same
+song, poem, or picture, and like them better the hundredth time than the
+first. A pathetic old tune does not lose anything in being sung by
+generation after generation. It is always as good as new. Like the
+widow's cruise of oil, it can be used without being consumed. These
+facts show that works of art--good books, good poems, good music--are,
+in a certain sense, immortal and divine. A hundred years ago, our
+ancestors sang 'Bonnie Doon'; we, to-day, sing it with undiminished
+fervour; a hundred years after this, the song will be fresh. Aye, and a
+humorous American writer thinks some of us will hanker for it in heaven:
+
+ 'Perhaps in that refulgent sphere
+ That knows not sun or moon,
+ An earth-born saint would long to hear
+ One verse of Bonnie Doon.'"
+
+
+REAL GREATNESS.
+
+The Rev. Chairman of this meeting emphasised the shoemaker's remarks in
+the following admirable words: "I often wonder what is really the
+greatest thing ever done by a citizen of this country of ours, by a man
+of English speech. If we agree with our worthy shoemaker and his way of
+thinking, we shall not look at the big accumulation of guineas as an
+indication of greatness. Certain commercial men (who ought to know
+better) seem to think God has sent us into this lovely world for the
+sole purpose of piling up as much money as possible, and then, by death,
+leaving it to others to spend. _That_ can hardly be considered our
+reasonable service. Life is not so low-pitched as that. The best work of
+man does not admit of being put into an equation with cash. The greatest
+feat, to my mind, an Englishman ever performed was the writing of
+_Paradise Lost_. How much did John Milton get in money for his
+incomparable epic during his lifetime? _Five Pounds_: and if he had got
+five million pounds, the recompense would have been absolutely
+inadequate. History, however, has indemnified Milton for the neglect and
+poverty he endured. He has shot up into stature while those of his
+contemporaries who bulked largest in the eyes of the world have dwindled
+and shrunk into insignificance in comparison with him. The witty,
+dissolute king, Charles II., is now seen to be a wretched pigmy: Milton,
+who died in blindness and political disgrace, is the real king of that
+era, overtopping all the rulers, cabals, and intriguers. So, too, in
+Scotland, Burns is the giant of _his_ period. During Burns's life, the
+Earl of Dundas was to all intents and purposes king of the country. He
+could say to whomsoever he pleased, '_Friend, come up higher; be you a
+Sheriff, or Lord-Lieutenant, or Justice of the Peace_.' Dundas is pretty
+well forgotten by this time: probably he will by and by be remembered
+solely by Burns's description of him: _That slee, auld-farrant chiel
+Dundas._ Kings and men of temporary renown do well to keep on good terms
+with the men of letters."
+
+It is always a great treat to hear a working-man who has the power of
+utterance deliver a speech in a straightforward and unrhetorical way.
+There is _always_ a pith and vigour about such deliverances quite
+unattainable in a formal harangue. The magnates of the little Fife
+villages are specially notorious for their gift of the gab: when Bailie
+M'Scales or Provost Cleaver gets up to speak, no one has any inclination
+to fall asleep.
+
+
+A HIGHLAND LAIRD ON LITERATURE.
+
+Max O'Rell has told us that his chairmen sometimes took advantage of
+their position to push their claims for the Town Council. I have not had
+the time at my disposal curtailed by any such municipal oratory, though,
+occasionally, my remarks on literature have seemed to the chairmen to
+stand in need of supplementing. One gentleman, in proposing a vote of
+thanks, pulled a copy of Bacon out of his pocket and read the whole of
+the famous essay on _Studies_. Another managed to bring in a lengthy
+dissertation on radium! The following speech, delivered by a Highland
+laird of a poetical turn, is noteworthy: "I am very fond of poetry," he
+said, "and yet I turn with a very languid interest to the writings of
+modern poets like Watson and Davidson. The verses of these gifted
+singers are for others, not for me. The truth is, I don't want any more
+lyrics and such like sugar pellets. My brain is already stocked with a
+plenteous supply on which I browse in weal and woe, which I almost think
+I personally composed, and to which I have attached a great many
+emotions and extraneous incidents known to nobody but myself. My old
+poetic favourites have been lying in various corners of my brain for
+forty or fifty years; I know every turn, rhyme and rhythm of them; and
+as they have served my need and alleviated my sorrow so long, I do not
+intend to give them many fellow-lodgers more. I do not know at what
+particular time literary nausea sets in, but Solomon had it when he said
+that of the making of books there was no end. No doubt his father David
+had primed him well in boyhood in the Psalms, and Solomon, feeling (like
+many others since) that the paternal psaltery met all his need of
+literary stimulus, would turn wearily from the heaps of presentation
+copies of new verse sent by the rising poets of Juda for their
+sovereign's inspection. When a new book came out, Charles Lamb re-read
+an old one,--an excellent practice and one which has the additional
+recommendation of economy. It is not an unpleasant thing to find
+yourself falling back on old favourites and losing interest in the
+current hour. I knew a happy old gentleman whose reading was confined to
+Walter Scott. Every evening the lamp was lighted in the trim snuggery,
+and the appropriate _Waverley_ taken down from the shelf. For such a man
+to begin a new novel would have been as irksome as travelling in a
+foreign land."
+
+I am bound to say that I have great sympathy with the sentiments I have
+quoted from the speech of this kilted critic. If it were possible to
+retain the elasticity and adjustableness of the mind till the end of
+life, new authors would perhaps fix our attention as much as the old.
+But only a limited number of articulate-speaking men, such as the
+omnivorous Professor Saintsbury of Edinburgh, preserve their appetite
+tireless and intact. The Professor, like a literary Livingstone, can
+grapple with the most arid and dusty libraries, and is the envy of all
+scholars; but, alas! the majority of us have to take something less than
+the whole of knowledge for our province.
+
+It must not be supposed that all the remarks made at these meetings were
+like those I have quoted. An airy irrelevancy was quite as common as the
+serious note.
+
+
+VARIETIES OF CHAIRMEN.
+
+I have had experience of hundreds of chairmen, and admired most of them.
+It is rather a painful thing to have one who is utterly unversed in
+speaking. I remember being introduced in the ante-room to the chairman
+of the evening, and, big bucolic giant as he was, he seemed fearfully
+perturbed. His hand trembled, his lips were ashy-gray, and his laugh was
+a nervous grin. "I am not much used to this sort of thing," said he,
+with a poor attempt at mirth and a furtive movement of his hand to his
+waistcoat pocket, where he had his introductory speech. "All you have to
+do is to introduce me," I hinted; "you needn't say much." On the
+platform he shook so much that the whole structure quivered. He rose,
+and was received with loud applause. Happily he did not read his speech,
+but simply pointed to me and said, "G-g-go on." He sank in his chair,
+while runnels of sweat coursed down his cheeks. I admired that chairman
+more than one in Caithness, who, after angling for the honour of taking
+the chair, grew so terrified towards the hour of meeting, that he went
+to bed and sent word he couldn't be present owing to flying pains in his
+leg! In country districts, reluctance to take the chair arises from a
+man's fear of making himself ridiculous; once he cuts a poor figure in
+public, discredit is for ever attached to his name.
+
+Highlanders as a rule make excellent chairmen. The superior gifts of the
+Celtic mind, in imagination and wealth of florid expression, nowhere
+show themselves to better purpose than when compliments have to be paid.
+Then again, the kilt is very impressive on a brawny chairman's legs: it
+commands attention and respect at once. I have little knowledge of
+colloquial Gaelic, though I have studied the grammar, and have some
+skill in reading. A little Gaelic goes a long way in stirring the soul
+of a Highland audience. Often I have heard a kilted chairman quitting
+his English for a little and giving the audience a mellifluous Ossianic
+sentence or two. The effect was electric: eyes gleamed, breath came
+quick and fast, the souls of the hearers seemed to have tasted a tonic.
+Spoken Gaelic is akin to the elements: it has a mystic affinity with the
+winds that sough around the flanks of the mountains and along the
+surface of the lonely lochs. There is perhaps not much business
+precision about it, but for preaching, praying, and poetry, it is a
+splendid medium.
+
+In Arran, a jovial chairman thus introduced me: "Before I left home, I
+thought of a great many nice things to say as a preface to the remarks
+of our friend from Paisley. (Here he coughed violently.) Unfortunately,
+I am unable to bestow these tit-bits on the audience owing to a
+_kittlin'_ in my throat. Instead of saying what I meant to say, I think
+I had better tell you a story. A minister one Sunday had occasion to be
+highly displeased with the precentor, who broke down twice in quite a
+simple psalm-tune. 'Excuse me, minister,' said the precentor, 'but I've
+got a kittlin' in my throat this morning.' '_Kittlin'!_' hissed the holy
+man in scornful wrath: '_it's mair like a big tom-cat_.' Ladies and
+gentlemen, after these few and decidedly imperfect remarks, I resume my
+seat, merely expressing the hope that our friend will feel himself as
+much at home here as the deil did in the Court of Session."
+
+Another chairman in an adjoining island, while engaged in tremulously
+reading his introductory speech, came to a sudden stop. An irreverent
+youth shouted, "_Is that a blot?_" After the laughter provoked by this
+query had subsided, the chairman said: "I feel to-night like a square
+pin in a round hole, or rather, like the Irishman who, when asked if he
+was dead, replied, '_No, I'm not dead, I'm only spacheless._'" Having
+said these words with a weird attempt at mirth, the chairman sat down
+too hurriedly, and struck his head so violently against the back of his
+chair, that the noise of the impact was heard in every part of the hall.
+
+I may hint to anyone who lectures or preaches in the Highlands, not to
+adopt a patronising attitude or make it appear that he is talking down
+to the audience. Such a feature would be at once detected and deeply
+resented. A well-known Professor lectured to a Bute audience on
+Electricity, and out of ignorance, spoke in a very elementary way to the
+audience, defining the simplest terms, and interspersing a great many
+"_you know's_" and "_you see's_." The chairman, in proposing a vote of
+thanks, slyly remarked: "We have listened to-night to a very good
+discourse, and I'm only sorry there are so few young people here. Next
+time the Professor comes to speak to us, I hope to see all the
+school-children in the hall, for the lecture to-night was admirably
+adapted to their capacity."
+
+
+COMING TO THE POINT.
+
+A very loquacious lawyer proposed a vote of thanks to the chairman in
+the following fashion: "Ladies and gentlemen," he said, "it is often a
+very difficult thing to come to the point. When I was at College, I
+consented once to write an essay on 'The Progress of America,' the
+subject being one of my own choosing. I wrote twenty-five pages of
+preliminary matter, and at the end of my writing, I found that Columbus
+was not landed. As my essay was to bring my hearers up-to-date on
+American progress, I became nettled at my failure to _get Columbus
+ashore_ and went round canvassing among my friends to secure a
+substitute. No one would relieve me, so I was forced to slaughter an
+aunt. I was wired for, by arrangement, on the day before the meeting,
+and responded with great alacrity, knowing that there would be no
+funeral. Without wasting more words let me on _this_ occasion come to
+the point, and ask you to accord to our worthy chairman a very hearty
+vote of thanks for the brilliant way in which he has kept us all in
+order this evening."
+
+
+MORAL OBLIGATION.
+
+A minister of a western parish thought it his duty, in the course of his
+introductory speech, to make some jovial remarks on the subject of
+conscience and moral obligation. "A student of my acquaintance," said
+he, "went to Arrochar on Loch Long by excursion steamer. At mid-day,
+being thirsty, he _drifted thoughtlessly_ into the hotel and asked for a
+cup of tea. With this beverage he washed over some dry biscuits he had
+brought with him from home. Imagine his surprise on being told that the
+cup of tea would cost him two shillings. Bang went not one sixpence but
+four! He looked at the maid and his breath came quick and fast; but he
+counted out the money nevertheless. Having occasion to visit the
+bathroom to cool his throbbing brow, he perceived a razor on a little
+shelf near the mirror there. At once he pocketed this razor and made
+off, whistling _Scots Wha Hae_. He had recouped himself for the
+overcharge on the cup of tea. Strange to say, every time he shaved with
+the stolen razor he feared some impending calamity. He knew enough Greek
+to be aware that Ajax committed suicide with the very sword that hero
+got from the enemy. Whenever the student disfigured his chin and
+reddened the lather with a new-made gash, he felt in his inmost soul
+that a Nemesis was being wrought out. _By this simple tale, my friends,
+one may see the sovereign power of conscience, which, though dormant for
+a time, invariably asserts itself and flogs the culprit._"
+
+
+COMPLIMENT TO PAISLEY.
+
+The following remarks made by a speaker at one of the meetings are worth
+citing: "I do not wish our Paisley friend," he said, "to go back to the
+banks of the Cart under the impression that we are not a very literary
+people up here in Ross-shire. On the contrary, we are clean gone on
+literature. Just look at our syllabus! One night we have a discussion on
+Shakespeare. Eh? What do you think of that? Shakespeare no less! Next
+night we deal with _an equally great poet--Tannahill_." (No doubt the
+speaker meant to compliment Paisley in thus comparing the author of
+_Lear_ and _Hamlet_ with the poet-laureate of the loom.) I have heard
+Milton's _Paradise Lost_ and Pollok's _Course of Time_ clashed together
+in the same ludicrous way. I was dreadfully nonplussed on one occasion
+by hearing a speaker strongly recommend the audience to give their days
+and nights to the study of Bunyan and M'Cheyne. "Bunyan by all means,"
+said I to myself, "but who is M'Cheyne that one should be mindful of him
+and put him for importance alongside of the immortal tinker?"
+
+
+ORATORY AT SALEN.
+
+I shall never forget a vote of thanks proposed in my hearing by the
+excellent doctor of Salen, a pleasant little place situated on a
+V-shaped creek of Loch Sunart. I never expect to meet a more genial or
+more humorous man than the doctor, on this side of eternity. He knows
+the roads of gusty Ardnamurchan better than any other living man, and,
+night and day, by sun and by moon, in weather of clear blue, and under
+the eddying blinding flakes, he is ever on the move. He found time to
+come to the meeting and propose a vote of thanks to the donor of the
+library. Everyone listened intently to him as he stood there in his
+professional frock-coat,--a thin, wiry, twinkling-eyed gentleman. "If
+the donor by any chance," said he, looking at me, "should ever sail up
+Loch Sunart in his yacht, and land among the people of Salen, to whom
+his books have given such pleasure, I should advise him not to stand too
+near the edge of the pier, for fear some of the grateful natives might
+push him over into the loch, _in order to have the pleasure of saving
+his life!_" This unexpected sally convulsed the audience, and gave a gay
+and rollicking touch to the speeches that came after. Mr. M'Gregor, a
+farmer from Resipol, broad and brawny, rose to make a few remarks. The
+schoolhouse was very hot and close, but he disdained to throw off the
+thick and ample Highland cloak which he had on, and which he had worn
+all day at the Oban Cattle Show, and on the deck of the boat that had
+brought him thence. Mr. M'Gregor had been much struck by my remarks on
+the knights of King Arthur, and their custom of sitting at the Round
+Table, to avoid questions of precedence. He spoke to this effect: "I do
+not wish the lecturer to go back to Paisley under the impression that
+Salen is not a very bye-ordinary and consequential place. We have a
+fleet of yachts out there, the like of which is not to be seen _between
+this and Manch-oo-ria_. We have a blacksmith that can preach and quote
+Scripture as well as any D.D. in the land; my friend the grocer over
+there, will give you such bargains as you could never get in
+Sauchie-_hall_ Street; and we have a choir here that might give the
+angels singing-lessons. I am a very modest man, but I would like to say
+just a word about this Round Table business. The lecturer says the Table
+was round so that every knight might be at the head of it. That's the
+theory, but what's the fact? I'll tell you. _One of King Arthur's
+knights was an ancestor of mine, and his name was M'Greegor._[12] Now,
+wherever M'Greegor sat, that was always considered the head of the
+table." This contribution to Arthurian criticism was delivered with such
+force, faith, and genial glee, that no one, considering the powerful
+muscles of the speaker, was disposed to question it. (Mr. M'Gregor's
+eulogy of Salen did not comprise a reference to the local hotel, which
+is conducted on the Gothenburg system. It is comfortable and snug, but
+not whole-heartedly patronised by some of the natives, as they consider
+the system is an un-Celtic innovation, and believe further that every
+drink they take is written down in a big book with an alphabet on the
+edge of the leaves to facilitate reference).
+
+ [12] Judging from the number of clans that make a similar claim,
+ we might fancy that all King Arthur's knights
+
+ "Gartened low their leg,
+ And rowed their hurdies in a philabeg."
+
+
+
+
+LECTURE IN A DUNGEON, ETC.
+
+I have an agreeable recollection of my stay in Saddell, on the coast of
+Kintyre, as the guest of Colonel Macleod, son of the never-to-be-forgotten
+Dr. Norman Macleod. The Colonel was born in 1820, was present at the
+Eglinton Tournament, and is, to-day, in spite of his eighty-eight
+years, hale in body, sound of wind, and perfectly clear in the
+intellect. He is a walking encyclopdia of all the social and political
+changes that have come about since the accession of Victoria. He is also
+an authority on live stock, and it is intensely amusing to see his
+horses scampering from the far-end of the field when they see him, in
+the hope of getting some of the bits of sugar he always carries in his
+pocket for their benefit.
+
+The school-house being badly situated for the convenience of the people,
+the meeting was held in the _dungeon of the old castle_, a spacious and
+airy place quite near the beach. Altogether, I reckon this meeting as
+the drollest in all my experience. There were no windows in the
+overhanging vaulted roof, and the long stone stair leading to the ground
+above, was filled with the audience that could not get accommodation
+below. The aged Colonel presided over about one hundred prisoners, and
+humorously remarked that the table at which he was standing, was really
+a _patent incubating apparatus_, under which four dozen of Mrs.
+Macleod's chickens were coming to maturity. He hoped these embryo fowls
+would not interrupt the lecture by any unseemly remarks. At the risk of
+wearying the chickens, I spoke for an hour and a half, dealing in the
+course of my remarks (to be as apposite as possible) with the dungeon
+scene in "The Legend of Montrose," where Dugald Dalgetty squeezes the
+windpipe of the Duke of Argyll.
+
+In one little village hall in Kintyre, I was much perturbed by some of
+the placards that had been placed on the walls. The hall had been used
+for evangelical purposes, and there, facing me, in yard-long type, was
+the dreadful command, _Get right with God_. To speak on Hood and his
+puns with those colossal letters burning their message into your soul,
+would need nerves of steel. I have not nerves of steel, and I felt
+dreadfully incommoded by the bill. For the space of five minutes I might
+occasionally forget it, and then, in the midst of some light and
+skittish quotation, my eye would light upon it, and the verses would
+come feebly and falteringly off the tongue. _Vox faucibus haesit._
+
+
+SURPRISES.
+
+My narrative would be lacking in completeness if I did not frankly
+confess that I have sometimes met with humiliations of a kind to wring
+the heart and call forth a sigh. In one nook of the north I stayed in
+the manse of an excellent clergyman, an eloquent preacher, but austere
+and extremely devout. He took the chair at the lecture, which was very
+well attended. Before the meeting began I was told that a local
+gentleman wished to ask me _an important question_. This was good news
+for me, as I thought the inquirer might have some literary difficulty
+which it would be profitable to handle in the course of my remarks. The
+anxious enquirer proved to be the local hotel-keeper, who, in a deadly
+earnest whisper made the following request: "You have a big meeting," he
+said, "and it's not likely there will be such a number of people so near
+my hotel for many a long day. _Would it be asking too much of you to
+finish up about half-past nine and give the audience time to sample
+some of my commodities before departing homewards?_ It's chiefly the
+minister I have to fear; for if he suspects I wish to do business, he'll
+prolong the vote of thanks till after the stroke of ten."
+
+One of my compensations in wandering Scotland thorough has been the
+heartfelt but rather nave way in which some of the provincials have
+expressed their gratitude. "_I've paid half-a-crown for worse_," said an
+old man of Ross to me, shaking me warmly by the hand and believing he
+was uttering a most delicate and hyperbolical compliment. (Now, during
+my remarks, I had noticed this man taking copious pinches of snuff to
+enable him, as I suspected, to sit out the meeting.) Another rustic,
+this time an Aberdonian, was impressed by the number of authors
+mentioned and the copious citations from their works. "Heavens!" he
+cried, "what a memory that man has! That's the kind of partner I should
+like to have at whist: he would never forget the cards that were out."
+
+I know not whether to laugh or weep when I think of the occasion on
+which the following charmingly irrelevant remarks were made to me: "We
+are all proud of our village library and _even prouder of the feeling
+that prompted such a gift_. I am reminded," the speaker went on to say,
+"of a cousin of mine who got a present of exquisite fruit (preserved in
+wine) from a friend in a distant part of the country. He wrote to the
+donor saying, 'Your fruit is delicious: I like it very much; but I like
+even more _the spirit in which it has been sent_.'"
+
+
+A VISIT TO THE BORDERS.
+
+In order that these pages may fitly represent all the districts of
+Caledonia that I have traversed as an uncommercial traveller, I should
+like to give a short sketch of how I reached Tweedside by way of Lanark,
+at a season when the Glasgow people were beginning their Fair holidays.
+Winter, as I remarked, is the time I prefer for travelling, but untoward
+circumstances have now and again compelled me to be on the move when
+"mid-summer, like an army with banners, was marching through the
+mid-heavens."
+
+I may say at once that it is a great trial to leave Glasgow at that
+particular date. The city pours forth its myriads at such a time. The
+stations are surging and heaving with throngs of men, women, and
+children, all in a hurry and all impatient. Families by tens and dozens
+are swarming about. How pathetic it is to see the father with one child
+in his arms and two clinging to his coat-tails, while the mother (poor
+bedraggled soul) is vainly striving to quieten a squalling fourth! Some
+children have lost their parents, and grope about underneath, nipping
+the legs of tourists to attract attention and get hold of the right
+father; others fall among bales of strawberries that were pulled
+yesterday in the fresh country air, but are now being trampled into gory
+pulp. Even in the fetid and dust-laden air, rendered almost unbearable
+by the hot sunlight that blazes through the overarching glass of the
+station roof, Cupid twangs his arrows, and soft eyes speak love to eyes
+that speak again. Suddenly the train arrives, and on the already
+crowded platform lands the human freight of twenty carriages--a fresh
+addition to the welter and confusion worse confounded. What a wealth of
+language one hears! Cyclists tinkle with bell and horn to secure the
+needed lane of passage. Porters, in desperate madness, throw wooden
+boxes down and rope-tied trunks of tin with little sympathy for injured
+knees and fiery corns. The train just in will shortly leave with a new
+load of passengers. A rush is made for the vacated seats: in tumbles the
+surging crowd without regard for the class of ticket they have
+purchased. A score of occupants per carriage is about the average; many
+swarm into the guard's van, where they are regaled with pandemoniac
+odours of ancient fish and decaying vegetables. The heavy train at
+length steams out into the open, and in an hour's time Lanark is
+reached. "_God made the country and man made the town_" is the
+involuntary reflection of the city man as he steps out of the train and
+breathes the fresh air of the hills.
+
+From Lanark to Peebles, by road, is thirty miles. The track is
+excellent, and if the wind is not adversely strong the joy of cycling
+the distance is difficult to parallel.
+
+On this route, no lumbering vehicles, laden with heavy merchandise, tear
+up the soil into ruts. No cab-drivers cast sarcastic remarks at you from
+their high perch. The only annoyance comes from the cast-off nail of a
+horse-shoe or the sharp splinter of a macadamised stone. The air is as
+fresh as on Creation's morn. Up hill and down again one can hurry on
+without ever touching the brake. For the first ten miles, the stately
+bulk of Tinto dominates the landscape. What a splendid range of scenery
+the eye could grasp from the high vantage-ground of its summit in clear
+weather! As one approaches the base of the big hill, the road turns
+sharply to the east, and you feel about your ears innumerable breezes
+that blow along from the little glens leading down from Tinto's breast.
+By and by, the clean, trim, little town of Biggar appears. (The
+inhabitants are proud of the fact that John Brown, author of the
+beautiful story, _Rab and his Frien's_, was a native of the town.) One
+notices the name of Gladstone prominent above the shops, and it is a
+fact that the ancestors of the Grand Old Man were, in the days of yore,
+denizens of those quiet hamlets. After a short rest here, we (for you
+are with me, _ami lecteur_) shoot on and pass the sleepy street of
+Broughton, lying clear and radiant in the slanting rays of the sun. Here
+is the ideal spot for a country clergyman in love with Hebrew roots and
+gardening and quiet contemplation. Soon we strike the tiny waters of the
+infant Tweed, prattling and gushing up and bubbling clear over its
+snow-white pebbles. Now the breeze of gloaming blows more snell. Away
+low in the west the sun begins to gather golden clouds in pomp around
+his setting. A gorgeous glimmer, gold and red, is thrown over the whole
+sky. Keeping close beside the ever-widening stream, we dash through
+little clachans on the bank, beneath long, over-arching avenues of
+trees, and past the gates of ivy-mantled homes of blessed outlook. Here
+a croquet party stops playing, for the grass is getting wet with
+evening dew, and there, in the river, and up to the knees in it, are
+half a dozen anglers sweeping the wave with their spurious fly. Peebles
+is not far off, and the quiet nooks of the high road are filled with
+pedestrians. The entrance to Peebles is exquisite. The long rows of
+trees, the situation of the road high above the river in the dell,
+combine to make an eerie blend of sound from sighing leaves and gurgling
+waters. An old Border peel, Needpath Castle, stands near the straggling
+outskirts of the town, and proves, by its choice situation on the knoll,
+that our cattle-reiving ancestors were quite alive to the advantages of
+a good view. It was a stirring quarter here in the days of the old
+Scotch kings. The deadly thrust of lance has reddened every burn in the
+wide Borderland. Every brae has had its gory bicker.
+
+On this _tourne_ I had the pleasure of giving a lecture on "Scotch
+Ballads," at a little village not more than half a mile from the
+birthplace of Dandie Dinmont. The place was full of sturdy, firm-knit
+Borderers, descendants of the dare-devil troopers who wrought such
+devastation along the Marches when the Stuarts reigned in Holyrood.
+Fresh, ruddy faces, coloured by breeze and sun; hard, keen, inquisitive
+looks; intelligence such as comes from knowledge of nature, hereditary
+quickness and good circulation of blood: all these could be instantly
+seen by glancing round the audience. (How insignificant a mere bookworm
+or scholar feels among a company of brawny Liddesdale farmers!) During
+the lecture, it was easy to note by the grim smile on their faces, their
+flashing eyes and the way they gripped their big sticks, that the old
+stirring rhymes of fight struck a sympathetic chord in their hearts. Now
+and again, during the address, one could see the lips of the listeners
+moving in soft repetition of the lines, as some typical quotations were
+being made.
+
+It is not likely that there has been much change or influx of population
+in these districts for centuries. The alertness and intelligence of the
+natives must be to some extent an inheritance from the generations of
+strenuous clansmen whose blood flows in their veins. Life in a
+historical district is bound to have an ennobling effect on a man,
+especially if he feels knit to the past by lineal descent from the
+historical actors. A glamour of romance clings to hill and glen. The
+dalesman you meet on the highway can tell you all the lore of his
+parish, giving dates and citing illustrative lays. It is pleasant to
+find that the stories of the Borderland are still known where they first
+took birth, and that the local names, which to students instantly
+suggest delightful bits of rhyme, have also to those who dwell near
+them, a romance that is borrowed from the olden time.[13]
+
+Anyone who has travelled in the shires that run along the Cheviots and
+the Tweed, will conclude that poetry and romance may ever find a home
+there. The hills, with their green pastoral slopes and abundant leafage,
+are a delight to the eye in fresh spring and tinted fall. The sound of
+the streams, as Ruskin has pointed out, is sweet and rhythmic to an
+extraordinary degree, combining with the sough of the winds to form an
+undersong of Nature's own melody. As the traveller drives or cycles
+along the roads, he now and again gets such impressive vistas of
+long-stretching waterways, wooded to the brink with graceful trees, as
+grave themselves on the memory for evermore. For rock, crag, and dashing
+linn, the northern Highlands are supreme; but in the green Borderland,
+there is a more sedate and proportioned beauty. Nature is none the less
+attractive for losing somewhat of her wildness and austerity.
+
+ [13] A favourite and appropriate book in this part of Scotland is
+ Wilson's _Tales of the Borders_. There are not many farm-houses
+ in the Lowlands of Scotland in which one does not find old
+ copies, bound and unbound, of Wilson's _Tales_. Usually they show
+ unmistakable evidence of having been frequently perused. One is
+ bound to admit that the modern reader, if he spends an evening
+ turning over these old pages, will find little reason to pride
+ himself on the superiority of the popular reading of to-day. The
+ short story, now in vogue, may be finely illustrated, and highly
+ sensational, but its matter is certainly inferior, as a rule, to
+ the general run of Wilson's stories. Wilson, in his humble way,
+ was a gleaner in the field so richly harvested by Sir Walter
+ Scott. _The Minstrelsy of the Scottish Border_ had called
+ attention to the great stores of poetry and romance lingering
+ among the peasantry of the Debateable Land. Wilson's _Tales_
+ showed how much of the old spirit remained more than two
+ centuries after the Union, and, in spite of all Christianity and
+ an orderly Government had done for the softening of manners.
+ Hogg, in speaking of his own countryside, said: "The poor people
+ of these glens know no other entertainment in the long winter
+ nights than repeating and listening to the feats of their
+ ancestors recorded in songs which I believe to have been handed
+ down from father to son for many generations." Wilson and his
+ successors gathered up as much of the romantic material as they
+ found available, and printed it for the delight of their
+ generation.
+
+
+TARBOLTON.
+
+In the agricultural lowlands of Scotland it is not rare to come upon
+little villages that seem entirely left behind by modern progress. Not
+long ago my work took me to Tarbolton, a quiet, uneven village in the
+heart of the queenly shire of Ayr. The railway company has treated the
+place very badly: a full fifteen minutes' drive is needed to reach the
+town from the station. It is as if the company said: "Make what you can
+of our line, ye insignificant Tarboltonians; our trains are in a hurry
+to get from Ayr to Muirkirk; be thankful if we set you down only three
+miles from your home." If it is not wet, the drive is a grand one. Five
+miles to the right, Mauchline shows its red complexion on the green
+hillside, and awakens lyric memories of Burns's imperishable mouse and
+share-torn gowan. Over the pasture lands on the right come freshening
+winds that hint of the heaving Firth not far away. The road pursued by
+the coach meanders among all that is best of rural and pastoral scenery,
+for coaly Annbank, defaced by the exhumed entrails of the earth, is
+happily on the rear. At a turn of the road, a majestic spire, that of
+Tarbolton Parish Church, suddenly stands before the view of the
+traveller, and suggests Eternity even when tolling the hours of Time.
+Soon the village is reached, and one is in a position to form an idea of
+eighteenth century Scotland. The main street is built with that
+irregularity so charmingly illustrative of the evolution of the
+builder's art. Old cots roofed with thatch take the mind back to the
+time when George I. was defending the faith and maltreating his wife.
+Side by side with such are trim two-storey houses with all modern
+elegancies.
+
+I have a pleasant recollection of this interesting village, not merely
+from its associations with Burns (which Mr. T.F. Henderson in a dainty
+little book has recently recounted anew), but also from the fact that
+the natives keep alive the literary traditions of the place in quite a
+worthy way. The local baker has written a fluent volume of Essays
+dealing with village incidents and worthies, which proves, as Mr. Barrie
+says, that life in every stage, if truthfully portrayed, is intensely
+interesting, and that every window-blind is the curtain for some tragedy
+or comedy.
+
+
+THE SCOTCH LANGUAGE.
+
+Very fine Scotch is still spoken in the rural districts of Ayrshire, and
+most of Burns's dialect words are in daily use, at least by the older
+generation. The Education Department has most wisely given encouragement
+to the study of Lowland Scotch, and I do not see why a special grant
+should not be given for special excellence in that department. Some
+national movement for a complete Dictionary of Modern Scotch with
+explanations in up-to-date philology ought to be organised.
+
+During the lifetime of Sir Walter Scott, Dr. Jamieson published the
+famous _Scottish Dictionary_, which still holds the field as the most
+elaborate compendium of the Lowland dialects. Looked at in the light of
+modern science, the derivations are often absurd and fanciful.
+Jamieson's love for Gothic parallels led him constantly astray.
+Nevertheless, his dictionary, as amended by various revisers, remains a
+stately monument of industry and a necessary adjunct in the study of the
+Scotch language.
+
+In our own day, Dr. Murray of Oxford has compiled an illuminating
+grammar of the language, indicating the various dialects of the Lowlands
+and their geographical areas. Local antiquarians have also written out
+lists of words special to particular counties. Dialect books, such as
+the entertaining _Johnnie Gibb of Gushetneuk_, as well as Mr. Barrie's
+delightful sketches, have put excellent specimens of provincial speech
+within the hands of a wide circle of readers. A good dictionary of
+modern Scotch, dealing with what has been written during the last two
+centuries, would be a very useful and a very interesting compendium. It
+would show that a great many expressive words employed by thirteenth
+century English writers are still in use on the Scotch side of the
+Border.
+
+There is no denying the fact that book-English will soon push out the
+relics of the old Scotch tongue. Burns will soon be read by lexicon,
+even in the shire of Ayr. Men now write poetry in Scotch as boys at Eton
+and Harrow write Latin verses, the result in both cases being, as a
+rule, hideous and artificial doggrel. The little book, _Wee Macgregor_,
+written in what may be called the Scotch Cockney dialect, was a brave
+and amusing attempt to phonograph the talk of a Glasgow boy of the lower
+middle class. The unlovely speech employed by the author is, happily,
+quite unlike the careful and deliberate speech of the educated citizen
+of Glasgow or Paisley. The main differences between the educated Scot
+and the educated Englishman are that the vowel sounds of the former are
+pure and that _r_ and _h_ have a real value in most words where these
+letters occur.
+
+It seems to me a _very undesirable_ thing that a uniform system of
+pronunciation should be aimed at in every country of the British Isles.
+So long as clear and expressive enunciation of English is attained,
+intelligible differences of vocalisation, pitch, and even of vocabulary,
+are allowable, and at times positively charming. Monotony is the bane of
+life.
+
+
+CHOICE BOOKS.
+
+ "Whether the books are borrowed books or no
+ That show their varied stature row on row
+ Along your walls, there will I truly find
+ The image of your character and mind.
+ Light, flimsy novels suit the flying train
+ Or _Western Isle_ excursions of Macbrayne,
+ Where, dazed by gleaming firths of visible heat,
+ The torpid soul disdains substantial meat;
+ But oft-read volumes, to which men recur
+ The whole year round, bespeak the character."
+
+The above lines, written by some unknown poetaster, indicate that it is
+the book we read over and over again that has the greatest potency in
+our education. I quite agree with the author, and I love to behold the
+well-thumbed pocket-edition that speaks to the eye of much handling and
+frequent perusal. There are very few books _worth_ reading once that are
+not worth reading oftener. Hobbes used to say that if he had read as
+much literature as the majority of men, he would have been as ignorant
+as they. In that remark what depths of meaning lie! The sage of
+Malmesbury attributed his success in philosophy to his habit of
+judicious selection--to the fact that he concentrated his attention on
+those authors who were likely to help the development of his powers.
+Selection is more required now than in Hobbes's time. Few men would care
+to read more than a hundred books through in a year, and yet there are
+twenty thousand volumes added annually to the shelves of the British
+Museum.
+
+
+THE ESSAYISTS.
+
+It has been my privilege, during the last three or four years, to
+examine with more or less care something like four hundred bookcases,
+containing works on all departments of literature. _I am inclined to
+turn away in disgust if the Essayists are not patronised._
+
+Those delightful Essayists! Happy is the man who has his shelves full of
+them--writers who talk sense with wanton heed and giddy cunning, who
+spread their souls out on paper, who disarm hostility by taking you
+completely into their confidence. Addison, with the roguish gleam in his
+eye as he is calculating the number of sponges in the cost of a lady's
+finery; Goldsmith, in his London garret, talking of the ludicrous
+escapades of the Man in Black; Lamb luxuriating in reminiscences of Old
+Benchers. All these splendid, unsystematic delights, mingled with the
+breezes of byegone summers and the sunsets of long ago! Old ghosts
+whisper you their secrets; you hear the brush of sweeping garments that
+have been moth-eaten these hundred years. Crowded streets of people
+appear before the eye of fancy--London in the days of Anne and the
+Georges. In the company of such wits, there are no slow-moving hours:
+you have in them friends who never need tire you, for should the
+slightest tedium intervene, you may, without offence, stop their flow of
+conversation. Our living intimates are prone to drynesses and huffs; but
+these old prattling wits ever welcome us with a smile of affability.
+
+
+A BANFF THEORY.
+
+While speaking of Essayists, I ought to mention a peculiar Banffshire
+theorist who addressed me in the following words: "Give me an old set of
+_Blackwood_ in the Kit North days, and I can easily forego your
+pinchbeck stories and propagandist novels of to-day. I put the most
+interesting period for reading at _sixty years ago_, and I think Scott
+must have known the charm of that number when he gave the alternative
+title to _Waverley_. It is pleasant to know how the world wagged when
+your grandfather was a ruddy egg-purloining rogue of five. When I read
+farther back than a century, I feel imagination flagging--the Merry
+Monarch is not much more to me than John the Baptist. But the men of the
+forties stand out clear and distinct. If I have never seen an
+out-and-out fiery Chartist, I have at least seen some smouldering
+specimens--men with much of the eloquence and a little of the enterprise
+of the original five-pointers. It may be that as I grow older, my most
+interesting historical period will move with me, keeping always at a
+distance of sixty years from the present, until, when I get within hail
+of the Psalmist's stint, I shall be most interested in childish things."
+These words rather staggered me, and set me thinking of geometrical
+_loci_. A man holding such views would find it difficult to obtain a
+bird's-eye view of history.
+
+
+GOLDSMITH IN GAELIC.
+
+If I had an adequate knowledge of Gaelic, combined with plenty of money
+and leisure, I should set myself the task of translating the whole of
+Goldsmith's Essays and Tales into that language, for the benefit of
+those who had no English. It would be a great feat if one could impress
+on the modern Celtic mind the conviction that piety and diversion are by
+no means incompatible. Goldsmith's _Auburn_ introduces us to the most
+delightful prospect on earth: a simple village community, unacquainted
+with luxury and uncorrupted by vice. The inhabitants are full of health
+and joy--they till the soil and gain ample satisfaction for their
+unambitious wants. Life passes along bringing a pleasant succession of
+happy hours. After the labours of the day, the young people dance
+merrily on the green, and the old folk look on and regret that their own
+legs are too stiff to keep time to the fiddles. Certain Highland
+landlords might also read with advantage the exquisitely pathetic lines
+in which the poet pictures the desolation and ruin of the rural
+paradise, and perhaps conclude therefrom that, when glen and strath are
+depleted of their inhabitants, and these latter driven over the seas to
+seek a foothold in strange lands, it is the very heart's blood of
+Britain that is being drained away.
+
+On the whole, probably no English writer has given such genuine delight
+as Goldsmith, and such genuine instruction too. Ineradicably frivolous,
+culpably negligent of the morrow, whimsically vain and living all his
+days from hand to mouth, he had the faculty of drawing upon himself the
+pity, and even the contempt, of his associates. But in the eyes of
+posterity, his happy-go-lucky life is amply redeemed by the work he has
+left behind him, for _it_ is pure and good. His river of speech flows
+ever on shining like molten gold. No man of his time possessed the
+adroit knack of bright writing in a more eminent degree. The pawky
+humour of his side-hits, the blending of light and shade in the process
+of the narrative, the beauty and melody that can be noted even in the
+sound of the sentences, combine to delight the judgment, the ear, and
+the fancy. Though the _Vicar of Wakefield_ is a prose production, it
+produces all the effect of a poem on the affections of the heart. Of
+wit, properly speaking, it is as full as any volume of _The Spectator_;
+with humour it is flooded from beginning to end; and in those pathetic
+delineations of life which no one can read without being profoundly
+touched, there are few poems so rich.
+
+
+BIBLIA ABIBLIA.
+
+In many (indeed most) houses I have visited, I see in the bookcase large
+publications in six or seven well-bound parts and as good as new,
+dealing with subjects of little interest to anyone who breathes the
+vital air of heaven. Such titles as _Science for All_, _The Thames from
+its Source to the Sea_, _The Queens of England_ are among the commonest
+on the boards of the books I allude to. The presence of these editions
+indicates that the possessor at a certain period of his life was shy and
+could not say _no_ to that limb of the Evil One--the book-canvasser. The
+latter individual is the forerunner of the colporteur, who will bring
+you, if you wish poetry, an edition of the works of Shakespeare which is
+peculiarly ill-adapted for holding in the hand and reading. The print is
+large, the page is in size like a miniature wall-map, and the
+illustrations are got up with an easy defiance of archeology. The
+annotations, though stolen, are distinguished for extreme futility.
+After you have begun the purchase of such a book, shame and chagrin
+drive you to attempt the study of it; but it is of no use, and on each
+occasion of the very regular advent of the colporteur, you are inclined
+to swear horribly, after which a period of extreme dejection supervenes
+when you recollect the many fine things you could purchase for the
+half-guinea periodically expended. The knowledge of human nature
+displayed by the man who books the order surpasses anything in the works
+of the analytical philosophers. Every artifice of attack is his, and he
+knows how to play on all the emotions so ably and exhaustively
+catalogued in the manuals of Professor Bain. I believe a gay and
+chaffing rejoinder is what he can least overcome. Suggest to him that
+you are far gone in poverty and offer to _sell_ him a few of your own
+books. Frequent exercise will confirm your principles, until finally,
+when you see one of the book-canvassing tribe, you will foresee half an
+hour's innocent amusement.
+
+Certain of the points he so feelingly brings before you may no doubt
+awaken a responsive echo in your own bosom. You are well aware, for
+example, that your knowledge of the Queens of England is culpably
+imperfect. You know you are never likely to go in steadily for the study
+of constitutional developments, and so are led to admit the
+reasonableness of tackling history from a lighter and more entertaining
+point of view. Again, as to the River Thames, one must really grant that
+a considerable amount of self-complacency and internal sunniness would
+result from the ability to contradict your friends as to the length in
+miles of some of its minor tributaries. In science, too, you are no
+Kepler or Linnaeus, and there is something satisfactory when pedants
+talk of orbits, planes, bulbs, or beetles, in being able to say that
+_you have a big book at home that tells all about those things_.
+
+Many people buy books, not because they have a present need for them,
+but on the chance that at some time in the future such volumes as they
+see for sale will solve a doubt or answer a need. The precise doubt or
+the pressing need rarely arises. I met a Celt who had bought a copy of
+Josephus in most irritating type, in the hope that it would help him to
+confute a Roman Catholic on the Power of the Keys. Then again, people of
+a wavering and bird-witted type of mind are constantly changing the
+subject of their interest: this month they are attacked by the _furor
+poeticus_, next month it will be a _furor botanicus_ or _politicus_.
+Each separate frenzy means expenditure. When Browning is the temporary
+subject of the mania, a host of expository books on that poet have to be
+purchased, all of which are duly consigned to the topmost shelves when
+the soreness of the fit is past. There is also a tendency to purchase,
+because on the chance opening of a book you light on something that
+pleases the whim of the moment. It is a thousand to one that when you
+have bought the book you will not find another item worth perusing in
+the entire contents. This tendency to buy a book in a panic may be
+neutralised by remembering the story (whether true or not) of Defoe, who
+is said to have boomed the languid sale of the dreary _Drelincourt on
+Death_ by means of a spicy little ghost story as introduction! Buy in
+haste, repent at leisure.
+
+
+SECOND-HAND BOOKS.
+
+It is a much pleasanter sight to my eyes to see a bookcase with
+second-hand books in it, for these are almost always bought to be read.
+In a teacher's house near Elgin, I recently saw a most remarkable
+collection--a veritable ragged regiment of books: single volumes of
+Plutarch, unexpurgated plays by Farquhar and Mrs. Behn, Civil War
+pamphlets, and rows of oddities. Mr. Forbes (the owner) was at one
+period of his life assistant in Falkirk, and every Saturday morning,
+rain or shine, he proceeded to the city of Glasgow, for no purpose but
+to roam through the dusty byeways and side streets in quest of
+bookstalls. He knew all the dealers by name, and they welcomed him, for
+he never left them without a purchase, however slight. It was a saying
+of his that while it took half-a-crown to purchase you two hours'
+amusement at a theatre, for a couple of shillings, or even less, you
+might divide out a whole Saturday most enjoyably in the old book-shops.
+He simply rioted in haggling over a threepenny piece. Even old Henderson
+feared him. This Henderson was a thirsty old bookseller who kept a shop
+at the corner of Cowcaddens and Ingram Street, and whose leading
+speciality was second-hand family Bibles, with the former genealogical
+leaf riven out and replaced by a clean sheet pasted in for the family of
+the next purchaser. To him, sitting enthroned on a pile of Bibles,
+Forbes, entering, spake: "Have you a copy of the _Lives of the Twelve
+Csars_?" "Aye, aye," said old Henderson, with a gracious smile;
+"_thirteen_ if you like." The copy of Suetonius was produced, and "How
+much do you want for Suet.?" queried Forbes. "Half-a-crown," said old
+Henderson. "I'll give you ninepence," said Forbes. "Make it
+one-and-six," said the bookseller, rising from his Biblical throne, "and
+the book's yours." "I'll give you a shilling and a half of whisky,"
+retorted Forbes. "Say a whole glass and the shilling, and we'll do
+business," quoth the vendor of volumes. This was agreed upon, and the
+two retired into the nearest dram-shop to conclude the bargain. Every
+Saturday evening, Forbes came home by the last train, carrying his
+bundle of volumes. He was careful to fumigate them for the purpose of
+destroying any microbes, and finally would sprinkle them with _eau de
+Cologne_ to make them tolerable to the nose. On Sunday, he enjoyed the
+luxury of desultory reading.
+
+Like Mr. Forbes, I enjoy a ramble among these old shops, and can say, as
+he said to me at parting:--
+
+ "I love the trundling stall
+ Where ragged authors wait the buyer's call,
+ Where, for the tariff of a modest supper,
+ You'll buy a twelvemonth's moral feast in Tupper;
+ Where Virgil's tome is labelled at a groat,
+ And twopence buys what tittering Flaccus wrote;
+ Where lie the quips of Addison and Steele,
+ And the thrice-blessed songs of Rob Mossgiel;
+ And some that resurrection seek in vain
+ From the swart dust that chokes the lumbering wain."
+
+
+FAVOURITES.
+
+I have often been asked: "You who are so much on the move, who have had
+so much train-travelling to do, what books would you recommend for a
+long railway journey?" I do not know that one man's likes and dislikes
+in reading are of value save as showing his own limitations, yet there
+are certain books of which I never tire. I never leave home without the
+following books handy for perusal: (i.) The _Odes of Horace_, (ii.) The
+_Sonnets of Shakespeare_, (iii.) A French novel and a few copies of the
+Paris _Matin_, (iv.) A Greek book of some kind, (v.) Pope or Addison,
+(vi.) Some Victorian classic. The list is varied enough, and has
+furnished me with much of the material for my speaking.
+
+
+HORACE.
+
+The pleasant thing about Horace is that his odes are so short: you can
+read one in a few minutes--shut your eyes and enjoy the mental taste of
+it--try to repeat it, and, if you fail, consult the original--then,
+finally (as Pope and many others have done), endeavour to find modern
+parallels. Suppose, _e.g._, you are reading, as is likely, the first Ode
+of the first Book, you might find present-day resemblances like the
+following:--
+
+_Curriculo pulverem._
+
+ What mad attractions sway the world!
+ Some are unhappy save when whirled
+ In motor cars that madly race,
+ To leave a stench in every place,
+ And maim those foolish folk that stray
+ Abroad upon the king's highway.
+
+_Tergeminis honoribus._
+
+ Yon babbling wight, of sense forlorn,
+ Who thinks himself a Gladstone born,
+ Although a bailie, still must strain
+ To gain himself a Provost's chain.
+ And, after that, the worthy prater
+ Aspires to be a legislator;
+ Dreams of St. Stephen's, where he sees
+ Himself hobnobbing with M.P.'s.
+
+_Patrios agros._
+
+ But Farmer Bob is somewhat saner--
+ He minds his stock and is the gainer;
+ Content to pass his life amid
+ The scenes that his old father did.
+ With hose in hand he cleans the byre,
+ And saves himself a menial's hire;
+ But gives his girls an education
+ That may unfit them for their station.
+ But don't ask Bob to tempt the tide,
+ Even on a turbine down the Clyde;
+ Neptune and Ceres don't agree,
+ And farmers hate the name of sea.
+
+_Mox reficit rates._
+
+ When Skipper Smith (whose usual goal
+ Is Campbeltown with Ayrshire coal)
+ Is labouring thro' Kilbrannan Sound,
+ He sighs for Troon and solid ground,
+ And swears, if he were safe on shore,
+ He'd never be a sailor more.
+ But once on shore--he thinks it dull,
+ And soon begins to tar the hull
+ And caulk the timbers of his ship:
+ "I'll try," he says, "another trip."
+
+_Lene Caput._
+
+ Some love to mangle turf: I see
+ Them drive their balls from sandy tee,
+ And think their day's delight begins
+ When they are up among the whins.
+ Some elders, full of godly zeal,
+ Turn crazy about rod and reel;
+ And ministers, reputed wise,
+ Take service with the Lord of Flies
+ (Beelzebub), and like the work
+ Better than prosing in a kirk.
+
+_Conjugis immemor._
+
+ Sir Samuel Croesus (noble wight!
+ Who paid so dear to be a knight)
+ Forsakes his lady for the hills,
+ And aims at birds he never kills.
+ Too late in life he shouldered gun,
+ Breathless he toils beneath the sun,
+ Sips whisky every other minute,
+ Until his flask has nothing in it;
+ Then, at the end of strength and tether,
+ Falls tipsy in the blooming heather.
+
+_Praemia frontium._
+
+ But as for me, my wants are few:
+ 3,000 a year would do;
+ A villa built upon a height,
+ With ample view to left and right;
+ A garden with a sunny seat,
+ A grassy lawn with borders neat.
+ Inside, a study furnished well
+ (Like a true scholar's citadel)
+ With books and pipes and easy chairs;
+ Here, in despite of worldly cares,
+ If I should write a verse or two--
+ A lyric that a _judge_ like you
+ Could read, without once yawning, through--
+ I'd be as proud as any man
+ That scribbled since the world began.
+
+Horace is thus fit for all times and conjunctures, and is the most
+modern of all the Latin writers--
+
+ "Horace still charms with pleasing negligence,
+ And without method talks us into sense."
+
+The translation of Horace's Odes into modern speech is generally
+admitted to be one of the most difficult tasks to which a versifier can
+apply himself. And yet there is no task so often essayed. It is a common
+saying in France that, when a lawyer quits the bar and retires, he is
+certain to publish a new translation of Horace after a year or two's
+studious ease. M. Loubet, we know, is a zealous devotee of the Sabine
+bard. Not the least droll of Mr. Gladstone's many feats was the
+publication, shortly before his death, of a translation of Horace's
+Odes, a translation wholly worthless indeed, in spite of the writer's
+immense scholarship, but valuable as showing the fascination exercised
+by Horace over the most austere and ecclesiastical of minds. It seemed
+strange indeed to see the great statesman turn aside from his study of
+Butler and the Fathers of the Church, in order to put into English verse
+the gay, and often scandalous odes, of an old Pagan epicure. Mr. Morley,
+who revised the translation, must have smiled as he read the old man's
+rendering of--
+
+ "_Quis multa gracilis te puer in rosa._"
+
+It is a fact, I suppose, that poetic translations of Horace are rarely
+read, save by scholars, and the verdict is almost always unkind. Yet an
+excellent anthology could be compiled by selecting the happiest
+renderings of the most talented translators. Dryden's paraphrase of
+III., 29, has been uniformly praised, and was a great favourite of
+Thackeray's. Cowper's nimble wit and classic taste are seen in his
+translation of II., 10, an ode beautifully rendered also by Mr. William
+Watson. Sir Theodore Martin and Connington are always readable, Francis
+is uniformly insipid, and Professor Newman, with his metrical capers,
+absolutely absurd. Pope's "Imitations of Horace" are so brilliant, that
+no student of English literature can afford to neglect them. Pope's
+method of replacing ancient allusions by modern ones, was employed by
+Johnson in some magnificent renderings of Juvenal, and no doubt
+suggested to our Scotch vernacular poets a mode (still popular) of
+translating Horace into Doric speech. Our Scotch bards preferred, as a
+rule, to work on the Odes, and they succeeded best when they departed
+most widely from the Latin text.
+
+
+SHAKESPEARE'S SONNETS.
+
+The same blessed quality of brevity that attracts one in Horace is to me
+one of the recommendations of Shakespeare's Sonnets. I am glad the
+mystery of them is never likely to be discovered. From frequent perusal
+of them in the train, I know the majority by heart, but despair of
+finding any cryptogram in them.
+
+The cord on which these exquisite beads of poetry are strung is of the
+most flimsy and frayed character. In other words, the characters are all
+bad, and the verses that laud them are of the utmost brilliancy and
+fascination. The poet himself supplies material that would justify us in
+stigmatising his friend as a heartless and dissipated rogue. He also
+lets us know that the pale-faced lady was an unwholesome and treacherous
+minx. Yet he addresses the one in language that would be too laudatory
+for Sir Galahad, and the other he idolises and insults by turns.
+
+How strange it is that the poet, while lingering fondly over the doings
+of these two un-moral persons, should give utterance to some of the most
+impressive lines in English literature! Certain of the sonnets pierce
+the heart as with an arrow: such are those that deal, in broad and
+pathetic fashion, with the ceaseless flux of all things human, the grim
+realities of the grave, the ruthless sequence of earthly events, and the
+measureless melancholy of the reflecting mind. The effect produced is
+often like what we experience in reading Ecclesiastes or Omar Khayyam.
+"Golden lads and lasses must, like chimney-sweepers, turn to dust."
+
+Though Shakespeare is dolefully impressed by the decay and destruction
+of all material things and by the evanescent nature of beauty, he has no
+doubt whatever of the immortality of the verses he is writing. He vaunts
+as boldly as ever Horace did--indeed, in words that suggest the _Exegi
+monumentum_ ode--that his verses will outlast the proudest works of man.
+It is a sorry anti-climax to such a boast that the poet harps on the
+immortality of the dissolute youth as a consequence of the sonnets
+having an eternity of renown. Was there ever such a puzzling and
+unworthy association of ideas? The puzzle is rendered more perplexing
+still by the fact that Shakespeare took no pains to enlighten posterity
+as to the identity of the youth he praises, or even to supervise the
+publication of the sonnets. Thorpe's piratical edition was full of
+misprints, but Shakespeare, so far as we know, took no notice of it, and
+made no attempt, by giving the world a correct and authentic version, to
+secure what his verses declare him to be anxious to bring about, viz.,
+the renown of his friend among generations to come. For us the youth
+still exists, no doubt, but not as an historical character. _He takes
+his place among the creatures of the poets imagination, and is far more
+of a shadow or phantom than any one of them._[14]
+
+_If we suppose_ the sonnets to be connected with real life, it is not
+easy to understand why the radiant youth, "the world's fresh ornament,"
+"only herald to the gaudy spring," etc., should need such an amount of
+persuasion to marry. Seventeen sonnets of great poetical beauty and
+felicitous language are devoted to this object. It is an exquisite treat
+to read them as works of art, but taken literally they are unspeakably
+absurd. No sane man would draw out such lengths of linked sweetness for
+the purpose named; nor would any youth, however credulous, _take the
+sonnets at their face value_. Shakespeare is merely practising his art,
+and we may be perfectly sure that these "sugared" sonnets (as Meres
+calls them), if they did circulate among the poet's private friends,
+were regarded as rhetorical exercises. They are intensely interesting,
+as showing the overpoweringly dramatic nature of Shakespeare's genius.
+Being impressed with the desirability of perpetuating beauty, he is
+driven to express the idea in the conventional form of a
+sonnet-sequence. The result is an exhaustiveness of treatment, a wealth
+of imaginative ornament, and a dramatic vividness of presentation that
+makes the reader marvel how so much could be made out of so little.
+
+ [14] Mr. Lee has collected an amount of evidence which seems to
+ prove that T. T., _i.e._, Thomas Thorpe, who wrote the
+ dedication, was not only a piratical publisher, but also a
+ humourist. The dedication, read in the light of these
+ observations, acquires a character of jocularity, and _begetter_
+ means _procurer_ or _getter_. Thorpe thus becomes what we know
+ Curll to have been a century later, a printer of stolen copy,
+ with a turn for cynical waggery. Mr. W. H., the begetter,
+ accordingly, is not a glittering aristocrat, but an unscrupulous
+ go-between, who has made free with somebody's escritoire, and
+ handed the sonnets over to the gay T. T.!
+
+
+XENOPHON.
+
+There is one Greek book, of which I have gone through three or four
+copies by carrying it about in the pocket for my _moments perdus_. I
+refer to the _Economist_ of Xenophon, a gem of a book, and one on which
+I have often lectured. The title is not an attractive one, but the body
+of the work is charming in the highest degree, and gives a better notion
+of ancient Greek life than any other book in existence. Ruskin, who had
+an unerring instinct for good literature, got two of his disciples to
+put the book into English, himself furnishing a preface of
+characteristic insight and brilliancy. He might well do such homage to
+the old Greek soldier, for the _Economist_ contains teaching remarkably
+like what is to be found in certain of the chapters of _Unto This Last_.
+A reader cannot fail to be struck by the wonderful modernness of
+Xenophon's writing, his love for the country, his simple and genuine
+piety, his soldierly directness, and his practical common sense. Here is
+a delightful sidelight on Greek family life, written twenty-three
+centuries ago, but which might have been spoken yesterday: "_My wife_,"
+says one of the characters, "_often puts me on trial and takes me to
+task--When I am candid and tell her everything, I get on well enough,
+but if I hide or disguise anything, it goes hard with me, for I cannot
+make black seem white to her._"
+
+The _Economist_ is an ideal volume for the country calm: it will not
+deliver up its best to you in the city; but if it is leisurely perused
+while hayrick fragrances are in the air, while butterflies are
+fluttering round the lawns, and while the flow of a clear-gushing brook
+chimes with your fancy and the quiet tone of the old Greek's musings,
+then (be sure) the mellow sweetness of the "Attic Bee" will be
+adequately enjoyed.
+
+It is a great pity that life is so short, that there are only
+twenty-four hours in the day, and that, owing to the general scarcity of
+money among the intellectual portion of the community, the possession of
+free-will is a pathetic fallacy. Nobody, in these bonds of time and
+space, can do precisely what he would like to do. Mr. T. P. O'Connor
+once said that, if he were master of his fate, and his feet in every way
+clear, he would at once proceed to Athens and learn Greek. I can
+conceive no keener or greater joy than that: it is the wish of a genuine
+lover of letters. At the age of ten, I came upon an old copy of Pope's
+_Homer_, and have been in love with Greek literature ever since. The
+cares of this world, including rates and taxes, prevent me likewise from
+proceeding to the City of the Violet Crown, but there are plenty of
+cheap copies of Homer to be had in Scotland, and it is no disadvantage
+that some of them have the translation printed on the opposite page.
+
+So many things have to be learned at school now, that Greek is being
+pushed out. In future, it will be a University subject solely. That is a
+great pity, for although there are fine translations of the Greek
+authors in English, these are not so much read as they ought to be.
+Greek itself would be much easier to learn if editors would write fewer
+and shorter notes.[15]
+
+ [15] Penalties of a really deterrent kind might at least be laid
+ upon those gentlemen who write _more than three_ pages of notes
+ to one of the author's text:
+
+ O that the Kaiser showing sense for once
+ Would loose his fury on each learned dunce,
+ And visit with his summary proceedings
+ The rogues who tease us with their _variant readings_.
+
+
+FRENCH LITERATURE AND JOURNALISM.
+
+I am always delighted to see French books on the shelves of a rural
+library. I notice Dowden's _French Literature_ in many a Highland
+bookcase; and I am sure it will please that erudite and most excellent
+professor to know he has hundreds of students who never saw his face.
+Everybody should learn the French language: I don't know a better
+intellectual investment. French is rich in precisely those qualities
+that English lacks. It is not necessary, for proof of that statement, to
+read Gautier, Bourget, or Hugo. A daily paper from Paris supplies all
+the proof required.
+
+I freely admit that the French newspaper seems, on first acquaintance,
+to be a wonderful and puzzling affair. It is never dull or tiresome, or
+glum. You may have your dearest susceptibilities wounded by it, but you
+won't fall asleep as you read its columns. Humour trickles from
+paragraph to paragraph; wit coruscates in the accounts of the most
+ordinary police cases; and abundant of dexterous literary workmanship is
+to be found in the leading articles. In spite of such admirable
+qualities, there is an element of frivolity, a lack of seriousness (I
+speak of the typical Boulevard sheet) that is at first rather shocking
+to a British reader. He finds grave subjects treated with a fineness of
+touch and a lucidity of reasoning at once charming and full of
+edification: but, lo! a pun trails accidentally off the journalist's
+pen, or an odd collocation of ideas jostle each other in his brain: the
+writer at once stops his instructive reasoning; he goes off the main
+line and careers bounding down some devious side-path of entertaining
+nonsense. Our home papers are almost uniformly staid; they are written
+conscientiously, laboriously, commendably. But, after all, the French
+are right in trying to inject as much entertainment as possible into the
+daily record of mundane things.
+
+I regret to say that the majority of French newspapers do not give their
+readers a quite fair or accurate account of events happening outside of
+France. French topics, as is right, have the bulk of the space, and
+foreign events are usually treated in a very prejudiced and perfunctory
+way. The Frenchman's enthusiasm for home politics does not leave him
+much emotion to spare for the rest of the world. Political life with him
+is always more or less in a state of turmoil. There is usually some
+scandalous _affaire_ afoot or impending, to which political import can
+easily be given. Many of the most talented editors, being members of the
+Chamber, import into their articles much of the heat and unreasoning
+vehemence engendered by the violence of direct debate. There has always
+been a feeling since the _great_ Revolution that _others_ might follow,
+and that one or other of the royal gentlemen of this or that
+disestablished race might, by some cyclone of popular or military
+sympathy, be blown back to power in Paris. Unluckily, there are far too
+many parties in France, far too many nicknames, badges, and shibboleths.
+The language of political discussion is bitter, and heated beyond
+anything the cooler Anglo-Saxon would tolerate. And yet, amid all such
+electric discharges of wordy rancour, the French nation goes on its way
+rejoicing, not a penny the worse, making wines, silks, and fashions, for
+an ungrateful world.
+
+There is now, and always has been, a strange sympathy between France and
+Scotland. A Scot learns French, as a rule, easily. One of the striking
+differences between dialect Scotch and book English is precisely the
+peculiar French ingredients in the former. For three hundred years the
+two countries were allies, and the advantages to England may be gathered
+from the remark of King Henry V. in Shakespeare's play--
+
+ "For you shall read that my great-grandfather
+ Never went with his forces into France,
+ But that the Scot on his unfurnished kingdom,
+ Came rolling like the tide into the breach."
+
+
+GIL BLAS.
+
+One French book that has solaced my leisure (in train, steamer, and
+trap), is that altogether delectable volume _Gil Blas_. It would be
+worth learning French to be able to read the book in the original. The
+characters are non-moral reprobates who lie, rob, and drink with the
+most unaffected sincerity. Vice loses all its grossness, and becomes
+intensely entertaining. The tone of the confessions is at once subtle
+and nave, tragic and trivial, comic and pathetic. The humour is
+absolutely colossal: many English books, alleged to be humorous, do not
+contain, in their entire bulk, as much humour as a single chapter of
+this great work. For brilliancy of style it stands very high, and few
+authors, either in France or elsewhere, have attained such admirable
+clearness, precision, and pith. Read _Gil Bias_, say I, if you wish to
+appreciate the possibilities of the French tongue, and taste all the
+delicate flavour of its racy idiom.
+
+
+ROMANCE AND AUGUSTANISM.
+
+There is a well-known text of Scripture, "In my father's house are many
+mansions" which, with a slight turn, might be applied to the House of
+Literature. There is room there for every pure and beautiful expression
+of human thought and emotion. Romance and Augustanism have both the
+right of entry.
+
+I am glad to see that Alexander Pope, the cleverest of our English
+bards, is still a popular favourite wherever I go. It would be a pity if
+this were not so, for he is head of the guild of Queen Anne wits, and
+no one of them can rival his instinctive delicacy, careful workmanship,
+and crystalline lucidity. His skill in the coining of impressive
+aphoristic couplets is unrivalled: it is almost as good as a novel
+addition to truth to find an old maxim supplied with the winged words of
+such a consummate verbal artist. Pope is a writer who appeals directly
+to all readers, for he never hides poverty of thought in a cloud of
+vague words.
+
+In Pope and his fellows we miss the lavish magnificence and unchartered
+freedom of the spacious times of great Elizabeth. Instead of Spenser's
+amazing luxuriance of matter and metre, we have a neat uniformity and
+trim array of couplets, which suggest the constant supervision of the
+pruning craftsman. Compared with the Elizabethans, Pope's time has less
+wealth but more careful mintage, less power but more husbanding of
+strength, fewer flights of imagination but finer flutterings of fancy,
+little humour but abundance of clear and sparkling wit. _It is not a
+difficult task, by means of suitable selections, to bring home to an
+audience of crofters the salient differences between the poetry of Pope
+and of Spenser._
+
+It is also easy to show to any audience that the quality which pleases
+to such a high degree in poems like the _Highland Lass_ and _Yarrow
+Revisited_, there is a romantic charm and thrilling magic which Pope
+never could produce. A line or two from one of the poems cited has a far
+more potent effect over the affections of the heart than the gorgeous
+declamatory rhetoric of _Eloisa and Abelard_. But it would be foolish
+to suppose that because Pope has not the passion for nature nor the glow
+of self-oblivious benevolence, he has not highly educative and estimable
+features. He should not be censured for what he never meant to supply:
+we should rather strive to cultivate catholicity of taste by extracting
+from his poems the information and enjoyment they are so well able to
+furnish.
+
+The Prologue of Pope's _Satires_ is, of course, the best introduction to
+a systematic study of the works of this writer. That poem is the
+masterpiece of Pope's volume, and exemplifies better than any other
+piece the striking and brilliant qualities for which he is so famous. In
+perusing it, the reader soon discovers that he is in presence of a work
+which is the result of incessant and prolonged labour, and which,
+consequently, deserves patient study. The works of a great technical
+artist require such elaborate treatment if the force of their genius is
+to be adequately felt.
+
+
+VICTORIAN WRITERS.
+
+If any man proposes to stay a month among scenery of hill, mountain, and
+lake, I should advise him to slip a copy of Wordsworth into his pocket,
+and read therefrom an hour daily; not hurrying over the pages, but
+turning aside, now and again, to take in the glory of pinewood, heather,
+and linn. In no volume, ancient or modern, can a tired man find such
+soft and genial balm for his weariness as in the calm pages of the Rydal
+singer. The poet is at his best in the broad region of natural religion.
+He looks round on the beauties of the world with that solemn awe a man
+feels in the hallowed precincts of a medival temple. The grandeur and
+mystery of the world throw him into a kind of enchantment: his own soul
+and that of the universe touch and commune with each other. In his rapt
+verses we feel some of that mystic thrill felt by a devotee in the open
+sanctuary of the Almighty. No man ever interpreted Nature in such
+inspired strains as William Wordsworth. What supremely delights the
+lover of scenery is that this poet's muse can overwrap the exact and
+detailed knowledge of Nature with a superb mantle of idealistic glory.
+He saw and understood the harmony of Nature's forms and colours through
+all the seasons: at the quiet ingleside he meditated on what he had seen
+and heard, enshrined these in verse, and added to them the warmth of his
+own devout and sensitive soul. There is no exaggeration in Arnold's
+tribute:--
+
+ "He laid us, as we lay at birth,
+ On the cool, flowery lap of earth,
+ Smiles broke from us, and we had ease;
+ The hills were round us, and the breeze
+ Went o'er the sunlit fields again.
+ Our foreheads felt the wind and rain,
+ Our youth returned; for there was shed
+ On spirits that had long been dead--
+ Spirits dried up and closely furled--
+ The freshness of the early world."
+
+Of Wordsworth and his successor, Tennyson, it is impossible to speak
+save in terms of affectionate gratitude. God looked kindly on Britain
+when he sent two such men to minister to us. Tennyson did more than all
+the bishops of the Church of England to stifle crude infidelity and
+equally crude religious bigotry. There is not a single line he ever
+wrote of which in his last days he had need, from the point of view of
+truth and morality, to be ashamed. He increased the world's stock of
+happiness by poems which have been the solace of men and women in the
+hours of darkness and doubt, which have led men to rise to nobler things
+on the stepping-stones of their dead selves, and which, I am certain,
+his grateful fellow-countrymen will not willingly let die.
+
+It is not the least of Tennyson's claims to our gratitude that his
+genius was sensitive alike to the beauties of Celtic and of Anglo-Saxon
+verse. It would be difficult to overpraise his masterly rendering of the
+"Battle of Brunanburh," a vigorous old poem he found in the _Saxon
+Chronicle_. Equally fine is his "Voyage of Maeldune," founded on a
+Celtic legend of the seventh century. Those who wish to know what is
+meant by Celtic glamour should read the last-named poem without delay.
+
+
+CELT AND SAXON.
+
+Between the literatures of the Celt and the Saxon there are, indeed,
+well-marked differences. The Anglo-Saxons were a set of enterprising
+pirates, who drove their keels over the misty ocean, came to Britain and
+took forcible possession of it, dispersing or enslaving the original
+possessors. They left a literature which is, in many respects, highly
+interesting, but is in the main devoid of sunshine, humour, and
+sprightliness. The old poem of "Beowulf," with its rough and sturdy
+verses, all splashed with brine, contains very few figures of speech: it
+is a poem, but not markedly poetical; it is solid and impressive, but
+not beautiful. Now, no one can read Celtic poetry, even in translation,
+without being powerfully struck by its refined beauty and mystic
+romance. The metaphors and similes are somewhat too abundant. The
+typical Anglo-Saxon has a firm grip of the world, but is not poetical
+enough; the Celt, on the other hand, is probably too much of a dreamer
+and a poet--he sits on the hill-side (forgetting sometimes to till it)
+and muses on fairies, second-sight, and enchantments. St. Paul used the
+right word in speaking to the old world Gaels, _i.e._, Galatians: "O
+foolish Galatians, who hath _bewitched_ you?" ([Greek: tis humas
+ebaskane?])
+
+Combine these two races in the right proportion, and you get an
+admirable blend. It is not for me to say where the just man made perfect
+is to be found, the man in whom the elements--practical and
+poetical--are mixed in such exquisite proportion, that Nature might
+stand up and say, "_There is a man_." What is certain, is that there is
+a very pronounced strain of Celtic blood coursing through the veins of
+the average Scotch Lowlander. Few Scots have to rummage far among their
+ancestry before they find a piece of tartan: such mixture of genealogy
+probably accounts for much that is best in their composition.
+
+The supposition that the Scotch race-combination is Celt and Saxon, and
+only that, is of course erroneous. There is a very marked Scandinavian
+element both in the east and the west of the country. In the year 1600
+A.D., the Norse tongue was spoken all over the Long Island from the Butt
+of Lewis to Barra. Certainly, in Lewis and Skye, an enormous number of
+the place-names are Scandinavian, and date from a time when the
+sea-kings had dominion over the islands of the West. Many fascinating
+problems of ethnology continue to occupy the attention of investigators,
+and are not likely to be settled for a long time to come. One thing is
+abundantly clear, viz., that purity of race and speech does not exist in
+any county of Scotland: everywhere there is a mixture of blood and
+language.[16]
+
+ [16] Mr. Tocher, a Peterhead gentleman, has adopted a special
+ line of investigation. He has sent out schedules to every school
+ in Scotland asking for detailed information as to the colour of
+ the eyes and hair of the boys and girls. His desire is to
+ connect _pigmentation_ and race-origin. He believes it is still
+ possible to get definite information, by such means, of the
+ settlement and blending of Picts, Celts, Norsemen, and
+ Anglo-Saxons.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+ECCLESIASTICAL.
+
+ Sectarian feeling--Typical anecdotes--Music and
+ religion--Ethical teaching in schools--The Moderates--A savoury
+ book--The Sabbath--"The Men of Skye"--The auldest kirk--The
+ Episcopal Church--An interlude of metre--The Christian
+ Brethren--Drimnin in Morven--Craignish--A model
+ minister--Ministerial trials in olden times--An artful
+ dodger--Some anecdotes from Gigha--Growing popularity of Ruskin.
+
+
+SECTARIAN FEELING.
+
+In a small country township, all the influences that operate to divide
+men into sects and parties are keenly and continuously felt. To a
+dweller there, it is well-nigh impossible to keep out of the arena of
+strife. Now that there is so much confusion and division in religious
+matters, strong feeling is more easily stirred on any secular subject
+that may happen to arise for discussion. If the Wee Frees, for example,
+desire a new road in a certain direction, the United Frees will probably
+deride the scheme and unanimously petition against it. Their antipathy
+to each other becomes envenomed by their persistent proximity: if you
+are a villager, you cannot get away from your adversary--in the morning,
+when looking out of the window, you see him tilling his croft, mending
+his nets, or washing his face in a tub at his front door. The fact that
+he is there is an obstacle to your peace of mind. If you did not see
+him so often, you would more readily come to believe that he possessed a
+conscience and some shred of principle and decent doctrine.
+
+In a distant seaside town a library had been procured, and (though
+doctrine was not at stake at all) a most virulent debate at once arose
+as to where it should be housed. The United Frees voted for the school;
+the Wee Frees called aloud for the post-office. It would require the pen
+of Dean Swift (who did such justice to the strife between the
+Big-Endians and Little-Endians) to recount in appropriate style the
+intrigues and stratagems of the rival religionists. The local teacher
+did not wish the books in school _because_ the proposal came from the
+enemy. He was powerfully supported by all the young fellows of the
+place, whose reverence for him, born of recent severe whackings, was
+limitless. This teacher had an eloquent and vitriolic tongue, and
+delivered himself thus: "What have I not done for the island? What have
+these reprobates ever done? Who was it that got the frequent Macbrayne
+connection with the mainland? _I did._ Who got up the concert to buy
+seats for visitors coming north from Glasgow? And yet for every blessing
+I give them, I get ten curses. _But I'll choke them yet._" It was
+needless for the United Frees to demand a plebiscite--or, as they called
+it, a _ple-biscuit_--the dominie was too forceful, persistent, and
+phraseful for them, and at the public meeting he laughed down a teetotal
+opponent by singing out: "Sit down on your seat, man; _it's the drink
+that's speaking, no' you!_"
+
+No matter what the subject may be, there is usually a smack of
+ecclesiasticism in the ordinary give-and-take of conversation. I cannot
+illustrate this better than by giving the Lewis man's reply to an
+enquiry as to _how his wooden leg was behaving_. The enquirer was a
+newly-elected United Free elder, while he of the timber toes was a
+staunch Disruptionist. "Well," said the latter, "my wooden leg is not
+unlike a U. F. elder; it's not exactly perfection, but, considering
+everything, we must just be putting up with what we can get." This was
+said at a time when the Wee Frees were in a big majority in certain
+parts of the Highlands, and when, as a consequence, United Free elders
+had to be selected out of diminished congregations.
+
+
+TYPICAL ANECDOTES.
+
+The venerable Lord Halsbury, so well known for his judgment in the great
+Church case, resided, shortly after the decision, in the neighbourhood
+of Forres. Men plucked each other by the sleeve as he passed along the
+street, and pointed with awe to the keen-witted lawyer who had caused
+such a kick-up in the realm. His most innocent doings were watched. One
+day he went into a book-shop and made a purchase. When he came out, in
+rushed a brace of theologians to enquire what he had bought. It turned
+out that he had purchased a copy of _Comic Cuts_. The news was all round
+Forres in an hour's time, and caused much consternation. "What great men
+do, the less will prattle of," and it is so difficult for the former to
+act up to their heroic rle.
+
+How thoroughly our dear native land has enjoyed its theological battles!
+Will there ever be a truce to the long wars of faith? One cannot see
+much ground for a too sanguine hope. After a library had been given to a
+little village in the West, I paid the usual visit to the place, and
+requested a free expression of views as to the suitability of the books
+that had been given. One venerable old native, with eyes of fire, called
+out: "_This Paisley Library has one fatal lack: it contains no works on
+controversial divinity._" I ventured to hint that perhaps the omission
+was intentional, but that he absolutely refused to believe.
+
+Coming through the Sound of Mull one blustery November day, I heard a
+most animated discussion on the question "Has the Deity unlimited Free
+Will?" The disputants had all the appearance of sensible crofters--they
+certainly talked more intelligibly than most commentators on Kant. Some
+of the ship's crew joined in the talk in such a way as to show that they
+understood perfectly well the question at issue. Every member of the
+ring was wet (the rain was coming down in torrents during the whole
+argument), but neither "Ayes" nor "Noes" would admit defeat. When the
+boat touched the terminus of Tobermory, much still remained to be said,
+and the amateur theologians retired to sum up in a local bar-room. The
+incident is characteristic, and could have happened in no other country
+but Scotland. Presbyterianism has made the Scot somewhat too
+disputatious, but it is surely better to see a man interested in
+religion than in nothing at all.
+
+Talking of the union of the Free and U.P. Churches, I am reminded of a
+laughable tale told of a Hebridean minister. "Themselves and their
+Union, I say, themselves and their Union," he remarked; "I will have
+nothing to do with it. I was born Free, ordained Free; I have lived
+Free, and I will die Free." "But what about the stipend, Angus?" said
+his wife, douce and cautious woman. "Ah, the stipend! Well, if I lose my
+stipend, you will have to put on a short petticoat, strap a creel on
+your back, and sell _fush_." "And what will you do, Angus, when I'm away
+selling _fush_?" "Oh, I will stay at home and pray for a blessing on
+your efforts."
+
+The use of Scriptural expressions undoubtedly gives great force to the
+language of every-day life. As is well known, certain classes in cookery
+have recently been established in a few northern villages. A Highland
+minister, in publicly commending these classes, remarked, with a rueful
+grimace: "I _do_ wish such classes as these had been in existence when
+my wife was young; for, as it is, every dinner she serves up to me is
+either a _burnt offering or a bloody sacrifice_!"
+
+The following story comes from a minister in the neighbourhood of Loch
+Awe. "A clergyman of my acquaintance was stationed in a poor parish near
+my own, and he called on the local laird for financial aid to help on
+some of the church schemes. This laird was a well-known philanthropist,
+but the call was made at the wrong psychological moment, for he chanced
+on this particular day to be in a very bad humour. He listened to the
+minister with great impatience, and at last, bounding to his feet and
+pointing to the door, he shouted: 'Silver and gold have I none, but such
+as I have, give I unto thee: in the name of Beelzebub, rise and
+_walk_!'"
+
+It was my unfortunate experience to witness a great amount of sectarian
+strife in the north and west during my various visits. Sometimes my
+prospective chairman was unable to preside, owing to his having taken
+part in a doctrinal scuffle, and having his coat torn, and his church
+captured. These fantastic doings are in no way edifying, and are
+extremely shocking to our national pride.
+
+Theologically, many districts of the Highlands have not advanced beyond
+the stage occupied by Lowland Scotland in the time of Burns. In certain
+parishes, the communion is dispensed in the open air, in the way
+familiar to readers of the "Holy Fair." Sky overhead, grassy turf
+beneath, solemnity, sobs, and sighs all around, certainly make up a most
+impressive whole. The sermon is unmercifully long--two hours, at least:
+probably, if translated into English, and shorn of repetitions, it could
+be given in one-fourth of the time. If you or I, dear Lowlander, should
+stand on the outside of the crowd, and appear more curious than devout,
+we should certainly be alluded to in the sermon as _those wicked
+people_. The discourses are no gilt-edged harangues dealing with the
+"larger hope," and larded with quotations from Tennyson and Browning.
+They are, on the contrary, full of Tartarean sulphur and strange fire,
+and rich in grotesque illustrations, of which this is a sample: "My
+friends, crowds of loathsome fiends are sent by the Prince of the Power
+of the Air to tempt us to our destruction. They hang over us waiting for
+their opportunity, just like a regiment of black crows hovering over a
+potato-field."
+
+I am afraid that crude Calvinism, as preached in certain parts of the
+north, is nothing less than monstrous. The good God, beneficent Father
+of us all, is unrecognizable when eternal reprobation is represented as
+the inevitable fate of the vast majority of His children. In time, no
+doubt (and the sooner the better), the results of modern theological
+thought will penetrate into the uttermost nooks of the land.
+
+
+MUSIC AND RELIGION.
+
+It is not easy to see why religion should be associated with gloom and
+disheartening ugliness. The long-drawn music of an Old Testament psalm
+is not without a certain doleful impressiveness, but the human soul
+needs occasional stimulus, even on Sundays, of something less
+lugubrious. Certain congregations hate hymns: they consider them carnal
+and uninspired. As for organ-music in a church, that would be _praising
+God by machinery_, a preposterous and intolerable approximation to
+Popery. Not long ago, a poor crofter in a Hebridean township, came to
+his minister, requesting that good man's offices for the christening of
+a child. The crofter in question was the possessor of an asthmatic old
+concertina, and the clergyman, before the rite of admission to the
+visible church could be performed, insisted on the annihilation of the
+ungodly instrument of music. The minister, in person, visited the croft,
+and disabled the concertina with a hammer. The child was then
+christened, and the clerical zany strode off victorious, feeling he had
+done a good day's work for Heaven. "Who ever heard of the Apostle Paul
+playing on an organ?" was the question once propounded by Dr. Begg. The
+argument was a splendid _reductio ad absurdum_, and resembles the old
+reason for the reluctance of the peasantry to eat potatoes, because no
+mention was made of them in Holy Writ. But songs and music are filtering
+into the glens, in an official way, by the agency of the Scotch
+Education Department. Musical drill is a feature of the school-room, and
+it is a joy to think that such is the case. Some of the old folk,
+however, look on astounded and shocked; they shake their heads, and
+would, if they could, abolish such frivolity. "Why all this singing and
+tramping?" said a Skyeman to me once. "What good will all the songs of
+the world do to a man when he comes to his death-bed? I would rather,
+this very moment, sit down in a public-house, and drink till I was
+intoxicated, than screech and howl these worldly airs." Life was not so
+absurd in the days of the Catholic ascendency. But human nature is
+slowly asserting itself, and the days of the glum tyrannical zealot are
+assuredly numbered.
+
+
+ETHICAL TEACHING IN SCHOOLS.
+
+In some districts of the North, the inspectors have considerable trouble
+with certain teachers of the devout type who, from conscientious
+scruples, refuse to read to the children anything in the nature of a
+fairy tale. While examining a class in a remote Sutherland school, an
+inspector requested the schoolmaster to narrate to the children, in
+Gaelic, the story of Little Red Riding Hood, and get them thereafter to
+put it into English. But the teacher most emphatically refused: "No, no,
+I cannot do that: it is all a lie; wolves do not speak; _no animal
+speaks_." The inspector, to refute him, unwisely alluded to the
+Scripture account of Balaam's ass in the twenty-second chapter of
+Numbers; whereupon, the dominie nearly swooned at the impiety of
+comparing that inspired animal with a secular beast like Grimm's wolf.
+For some time after, the inspector was bombarded with anonymous letters,
+accusing him of habitually _sitting in the scorner's chair_. He was
+terrified lest some Member of Parliament, eager for a grievance, should
+be got to move the adjournment of the House of Commons, with the
+righteous object of directing the attention of Government to Little Red
+Riding Hood and the naughty inspector of schools.[17]
+
+The question of religious teaching in schools is capable of an easy
+solution, and we in the south have come pretty near solving it. The best
+solution is to have no dogma at all in the school-room. The Catechism
+and Prayer-book are excellent in their way, but the school is no place
+for them. We have a very complete and extensive organisation of churches
+in the land, and an army of officials ordained to teach doctrines and
+tenets: let them take up the inculcation of creeds and rites, but don't
+let us perplex the school children with catechisms and metaphysical
+definitions. It is easy to make a distinction between morality and
+doctrine--a distinction which is alike clear and reasonable. Morality is
+an earthly and secular affair, and has to do with matters of elementary
+honesty such as every responsible citizen of a free country ought to
+practice. Religion is a higher affair, dealing with our relationship to
+the unseen: it is outside the province of the teacher, and should not be
+thrust into the school programme along with history and geography and
+grammar. Morality is of this world: religion of the next. Let everything
+be kept in its proper place. As to that division of duty which deals
+with right conduct, there is no controversy whatever. _Thou shalt not
+steal_; _thou shalt not bear false witness_--these, and the like
+elementary rules of conduct, are universally admitted to be right, for
+they are the groundwork of society. Take these away, and the world
+lapses into chaos. The following virtues are capable of being taught in
+schools:--(1) a strict adherence to the truth; (2) the application of
+the golden rule; (3) cheerful obedience at the call of duty; (4)
+reverence and respect for everything noble and great in the history of
+the world. These can all be taught, and are actually taught, by every
+conscientious teacher in the country. They constitute not the whole of
+duty, indeed, but the most difficult part of it--certainly all that need
+come into the realm of pedagogy.
+
+ [17] How differently the items in the Sacred Canon are regarded
+ in scholastic circles in the South! A Glasgow teacher, discussing
+ the Origin of Evil with a Government official, expressed great
+ resentment at the loss of paradise through Adam's sin, and added:
+ "It comes specially hard on me, seeing that I don't care a
+ _docken_ for apples."
+
+
+THE MODERATES.
+
+_Ami lecteur_, have you ever heard of the _Moderates_? If, by chance,
+you have dipped into the interminable controversies that gyrated round
+the Disruption year, it is probable you may have heard more than enough
+of them. One gets the impression that they were an unimpassioned,
+easy-going, anti-brimstone, but highly estimable body of men. They were
+blamed for preaching morality and not the penetrating mysteries of the
+faith. In "The Holy Fair," Burns gives us an inimitable picture of the
+moral philosopher in the pulpit:--
+
+ "But hark! the tent has changed its voice,
+ There's peace an' rest nae langer,
+ For a' the real judges rise--
+ They canna sit for anger.
+ Smith opens out his cauld harangues
+ On practice and on morals,
+ An' aff the godly pour in thrangs
+ To gie the jars an' barrels
+ A lift that day.
+
+ "What signifies his barren shine
+ Of moral powers an' reason?
+ His English style and gesture fine
+ Are a' clean out o' season.
+ Like Socrates or Antonine,
+ Or some auld pagan heathen,
+ The moral man he does define,
+ But ne'er a word o' faith in
+ That's richt that day."
+
+I confess to a certain liking for Smith. He knew what was good for the
+Holy Willies and the other "chosen samples" and "swatches o' grace" in
+his auditory. Like a sensible man, and like the Apostle James, he laid
+more stress on "practice and on morals" than on lip-worship and faith.
+"Faith without works is dead" is a dictum that needs to be incessantly
+emphasised, and nowhere more than in certain ultra-orthodox localities
+of Scotland at the present day.
+
+The Established Church is, with few exceptions, a negligible
+denomination in the Hebrides. For some reason it is regarded as the
+modern representative of the Moderate or Broad type of Calvinistic
+Christianity, and, as such, an abomination to the zealots. To show what
+a poor hold the Establishment has in Lewis, it is enough to remark that
+there are in that island only 183 Auld Kirk communicants out of a
+population of 32,947. Figures almost equally striking could be given for
+the Presbyteries of Uist, Skye, and Glenelg. The chief occupation of
+some parish ministers in insular Scotland must be that of killing time.
+I once met one of these reverend gentlemen in one of the hotels in
+Stornoway. He seemed to take a pleasure in running contrary to all the
+darling prejudices of the islanders. Dancing he approved of; he did not
+believe in prefacing his prayer or homily with a sanctimonious whine;
+and he actually was willing to admit that a few Catholics might get to
+heaven. An equally glaring fault--in the eyes of bigotry, I mean--was
+that he _dropped into poetry_ at stated times, and sent his Gaelic
+verses to one of the Highland newspapers. The Parish Church buildings,
+in many localities of the West Highlands, are in a woeful state of
+disrepair. They have a prevailing odour of must and damp; the seats are
+hard deal, unkind to the human anatomy; doors and windows rattle and
+shake during the service; creeping things move along the walls;
+sometimes the floors are nothing but the uneven and unconcealed Scottish
+earth. In such churches, there is some credit in being devout.
+
+
+A SAVOURY BOOK.
+
+An outstanding member of the clan Macdonald, for some time minister at
+Applecross, deserves a cordial vote of thanks for a savoury book he has
+written on the social and religious condition of the Highlands. He is
+not a bit scared by the Darwinian theory of evolution. "We have a good
+deal in common," he says, "with the brute creation, and have no cause to
+feel ourselves degraded on that account. The lower animals, not
+excluding the much-despised monkey, are specimens of divine workmanship
+which _reflect the highest honour on the skill and power of the Maker_."
+Could any admission be more handsome or candid than that?
+
+I have learned a great deal from Mr. Macdonald's cheery and broad-minded
+volume. He is strong in history, and has had, it would seem, access to
+information that is closed to the general eye. There is a glorious
+simplicity in his views on Caledonian ethnology. A roguish prince,
+Gathelus, son of the king of Greece, migrated to Egypt, and married
+Scota, daughter of that Pharaoh who persecuted the Israelites. The
+various plagues "that o'er the realm of impious Pharaoh hung," terrified
+Gathelus, and he flitted in hot haste to Spain, and called his followers
+Scots, to please his wife. Later in life, he sent his son Hiber to
+Ireland, where the lad settled, and named the island after his noble
+self, Hibernia. Scots continued to pour into Ireland, _vi_ the Bay of
+Biscay, and finally, under Simon Brek, subdued the entire extent of the
+Green Island. In 360 A.D., they came over to Argyllshire, and aided the
+indigenous Picts (who were also Celts) against the legions of Rome. This
+is so compact and clear an account, that I wish it were true. The way in
+which sacred and profane history are blended strikes me as singularly
+able.
+
+Mr. Macdonald has an intimate knowledge of Celtic superstitions, and
+always castigates the right thing. Certain diseases of the brain were,
+till quite recently, believed to be curable if the afflicted man could
+procure a suicide's skull and take a drink out of it. Mr. Macdonald
+rightly dwells upon the absurdity of such a specific, but confesses that
+one might as well try to "bale out the Atlantic" as eradicate the
+foolish pagan notions that still linger in the glens.
+
+Ministers have a great deal of captious criticism to stand, if we may
+judge by Mr. Macdonald's anecdotes. They are blamed for terminating
+their discourses _with a silver tail_ (_i.e._, intimating a special
+collection). The sermon itself is not immune from cruel jests, as the
+following report of a parishioner's criticism will show: "A minister is
+like a joiner. The joiner takes a piece of wood and shapes it roughly
+with the axe. Then he applies his rough plane, and smooths it down a
+bit. After that, he takes his fine plane; and, lastly, he rubs it with
+sandpaper, and finishes it with polish till he makes it appear like
+glass. And so with the minister: he works his sermon, from sheet to
+sheet, with pen and ink, till he makes it at last so smooth _that a
+flea could not stand on it_."[18]
+
+ [18] Ministers, being public men, are, of course, as Mr.
+ Macdonald means to point out, exposed to the criticism,
+ frequently so absurd, that eminence entails. I recently examined
+ the bye-laws of a literary association in Ross-shire, of which
+ the president is a sheep-farmer, and the secretary, a postman. It
+ is a rule of this association that no minister is ever to be
+ president, the reason assigned being that ministers would try to
+ elevate the natives _too hurriedly_. The people do not object to
+ be elevated, but they wish the process to be performed without
+ unnecessary haste.
+
+
+THE SABBATH.
+
+I was not a little surprised during my attendance at Highland churches
+to hear the ministers devoting much strong rhetoric to the sin of
+Sabbath-breaking. Taking the air on the first day of the week for quiet
+meditation and the good of one's health, has always seemed to me a
+laudable practice, but in many Highland parishes, a Sunday stroll
+implies ungodliness, even although the stroller may have attended one or
+more diets of worship earlier in the day. Such a state of matters is
+preposterously absurd, and, to my thinking, quite irreligious--it at
+least tends to make hypocrites. Some years ago, I spent a week in a
+typical insular village, lodging in the local inn. It was noticeable
+that on Sundays, the front blinds of the house were never drawn up. When
+the church-bells tolled the hour for public worship, the solemn devotees
+could be seen (through holes in the blind) pacing along, looking fixedly
+at the toes of their boots. The landlord of the house thought it no sin
+to observe the passers-by, so long as he could do so in a clandestine
+way. He had no desire to mend the blind.
+
+The restfulness and peace of a British Sunday is a blessed thing, as
+every Briton who has been long resident abroad, will readily admit.
+There is, however, a reasonable medium to be found between the unnatural
+Calvinistic Sabbath (with its limited view of the world through a torn
+blind) and the Continental Sunday, gay with skipping and junketing.
+Within recent years, to some extent owing to the bicycle and motor-car,
+the Sabbath has become rather too animated and bustling. The change is
+perhaps not entirely regrettable. The terrible Sunday dulness of some of
+our large towns has been, of late years, rendered less oppressive by the
+opening of museums and art galleries. I heard a man of fifty confess
+that in his boyhood he prayed fervently once, and only once, a week: the
+prayer in question was said on Sunday evening, and consisted of a
+heartfelt ejaculation of thanks to Heaven that the holy day was over for
+another week.
+
+Church-going is a splendid and salutary practice, and every man who does
+not base his life on some religious sanction, is leading a mutilated
+life. There is such a thing, however, as ecclesiastical dyspepsia, a
+disease engendered by forced attendance at too many religious services
+when one is young. The disease is unfortunately apt to develop in mature
+years, into complete indifference to doctrine of all kinds.
+
+After all, doctrine is largely useful as a mental exercise, and may
+easily become divorced from practical honesty. Not once but fifty times
+have I been told that the village experts in theology were precisely the
+men who needed most watching in mundane matters. "So-and-so is a
+specialist on the millennium: _beware of him_." "Old Duncan is the
+strictest Sabbatarian in the island, but on Monday he's worth keeping an
+eye on." "Many a man that keeps the fourth commandment is not so
+particular about the others." Such are the phrases one is perpetually
+hearing, and they go far to prove how inoperative are ritual,
+profession, and form, in the life of some Christians.
+
+To keep the ten commandments, or rather, I should say, the eleven, is no
+easy matter for either Celt or Saxon. It is far easier to be
+ostentatiously religious than scrupulously moral, to say prayers than to
+pay debts, to split hairs of doctrine than to love your enemies. I never
+read a more markedly scriptural book than _The Men of Skye_, nor one
+that displays such intolerance to the school of Laodiceans. I am not
+insensible to the intense enthusiasm of the author for the memory of the
+illiterate catechists who went round the island preaching to the people
+in a homely and graphic way. The unlovely feature of the book is the
+antagonism displayed towards those who wish to bring about a union of
+the Presbyterian bodies. "Not all the cement outside of heaven," one man
+says, "could bring about a union of the Free and U.P. Churches." The
+Declaratory Act, secular teaching in schools, instrumental music, and
+such like, all come in for severe treatment or ironical reference.
+
+
+_THE MEN OF SKYE._
+
+The book to which I have referred (_The Men of Skye_) gives a wonderful
+insight into the religious psychology of the Celtic zealot. It was in
+Portree that I first got a look at the little work, which consists of a
+series of biographies of outstanding lay preachers. I enjoyed the
+perusal of it immensely, and I am afraid the pious author will regard me
+as little better than one of the wicked when I say that I had many a
+hearty laugh at its contents. I am very unwilling to seek gaiety in
+pious books, very averse to laugh at honest, heart-felt beliefs, but the
+author of _The Men of Skye_ was too many for me. His quaint metaphors,
+droll tenses and unlicensed syntax, were a perpetual feast of nectared
+sweets.
+
+The language in which the book is written is not Gaelic, though it has
+not quite reached the stage of English. The following extract is a
+typical one: "John Mackenzie lived at Galtrigil, was a God-fearing man,
+and professed religion, and his conduct was worthy of his profession,
+consistent in all its parts. He was employed as fishcurer to Dr. Martin.
+When he would be busy in the store, on the shore, his wife would go down
+with his food. He had a large heap of salt beside him, but he was so
+scrupulously conscientious that when she took down an egg, she would
+need also to bring from his own house the grain of salt he would put in
+it. He would not take so much as a grain of salt that was not his own.
+He was careful about what belonged to the cause of Christ, and would
+like to know that those who took up a profession of religion had
+undergone what he termed a _clean conversion_."
+
+Some of the stories told of Angus Macleod, are altogether unique: "He
+was one day entrusted with the herding of the minister's cattle, but
+while he prayed, the cattle made their way into the corn. The minister
+came out and began to advise and rebuke him, but Angus said, 'Let the
+righteous smite me, it shall be a kindness; and let him reprove me, it
+shall be an excellent oil which shall not break my head.'" (Psalm cxli.
+5.) I consider that story and the two which follow quite equal, in their
+diverting pointlessness, to any of those told by Cicero in _De Oratore_,
+Book ii. At one time it was thought advisable to teach Angus how to
+read, but he never could be got to master the alphabet. He would utter
+aloud the following reflections: "_A_ _b_, _ab_: Ah! that is but dry.
+There is no food there for my soul. There is no word about Christ or God
+there, no word about forgiveness of sin. I would rather be at the back
+of a dyke where I would get a moment of the presence of the Lord." As
+Angus usually replied to his associates by a text of Scripture, he must
+have had a good ear for Holy Writ. "His father was one day repairing a
+dyke. Angus tried to assist him and broke the spade. His father's temper
+was roused, and he ran after his son to punish him. Angus ran away
+calling out, 'Oh, Lord, avenge me of mine adversary.'" On one occasion,
+when asked why he had refused to pray in public, he replied that it was
+out of his power to do so at the time. "Why," said his interlocutor,
+"Jonah was able to pray even in the whale's belly." "Yes, yes," said
+Angus, "but I was in a worse state than Jonah: for the whale was in my
+belly."
+
+It may not be unnecessary to state that the word Men in the title of the
+book is to be understood as meaning "men of exceptional piety." The word
+is a technical one in that sense. All the _men_ I have read about were
+fervid Frees, many of them being elders and catechists in that body.
+After the Disruption, there was a wonderful crop of these men produced
+in the Highlands, and through their means, _religion became a very real
+and forcible affair_. Their attitude to life and general outlook on the
+world are quite unlike anything to be found among the luke-warm
+believers of the Laodicean South. We read of one zealot devoting a whole
+winter to the task of combating shinty and tobacco. It is impossible to
+withhold some measure of admiration from Christians so staunch, logical,
+and uncompromising. _Logical?_ Well, here at least is a gem of
+ratiocination. What, for example, was the cause that forced so many
+Skyemen to emigrate to the Canadian plains and the Australian bush? The
+fathers of Skye believed that the crofters, having insufficiently
+appreciated the unique opportunities of divine worship at home, were
+driven by a wrathful deity over the water to a land where there were
+_few or no Presbyterian Churches_.
+
+
+THE AULDEST KIRK.
+
+There are some parts of Scotland that the Reformation seems never to
+have reached. I have been told that up till this day no Protestant
+minister ever preached in Morar (the delightful spot, with lake of same
+name, near Mallaig), and that in consequence Catholics call it "Blessed
+Morar" (_Morar Bheanaichte_). There is a Catholic strip of country,
+extending right through the heart of Scotland, along the Caledonian
+Canal; aristocrats, chiefs, and crofters there boast that their
+ecclesiastical history goes back, uncontaminated by schisms and private
+judgment, right to the time of Ninian and Columba.
+
+It appears evident that the iconoclastic Parliament of 1560, which made
+it unlawful to obey the Pope or say mass, pretty effectually paralysed
+the Catholic Church in the land. Only in secluded districts, such as
+Uist, Barra, Morar, Arisaig, and Glengarry, were the faithful safe from
+prosecution. The organisation of the Church was maimed and broken, and
+hundreds of priests took to flight. To use the cruel words of Milton--
+
+ "Then might ye see
+ Cowls, hoods, and habits, with their wearers, tossed
+ And fluttered into rags; then relics, beads,
+ Indulgences, dispenses, pardons, bulls--
+ The sport of winds."
+
+Having visited a fair number of Catholic districts in the West of
+Scotland, I have given myself the pleasure of reading, as far as is
+available, the historical records of the Pope's faithful adherents
+there. _These are most interesting as showing the pertinacity of
+religious faith among the most hostile surroundings._ The Scots College
+at Rome, founded by Clement VIII., supplied a large number of priests,
+who spread themselves abroad in the glens, and kept the old faith from
+completely perishing. The Roman Catholic College at Scanlan, on the
+Braes of Glenlivet, was a turf-built erection, dating from 1712. It was
+often compulsorily closed and the students dispersed. The most important
+school for priests in the West was at Buorblach, near Morar. Here the
+aspirants for priesthood studied for a year or two, after which they
+proceeded to some one of the Scots colleges abroad--such as Paris,
+Ratisbon, Valladolid, or Rome. Those students who received the whole of
+their instruction at home, and got ordained without going abroad, were
+styled _heather priests_.
+
+The best-known Catholic township of the West Highlands at the present
+time is undoubtedly Arisaig, a charming spot, where the mild air allows
+the wild flowers to spring in profusion and where the fuchsia thrives
+better than anywhere else in Scotland. There is a strikingly elegant
+Catholic Church here, built on a commanding site that dominates the bay.
+In September, 1904, I addressed a meeting in the Astley Hall of Arisaig,
+under the genial chairmanship of the Clerk of the House of Commons. The
+audience was overwhelmingly Catholic, and it was quite evident that all
+were keenly appreciative of the library that had recently been sent to
+the district. It gave me no ordinary pleasure to note that the literary
+society of the place was made up of both Catholics and Protestants, and
+that all the inhabitants, forgetting their religious differences, could
+assemble together as friends on the common meeting-ground of literature.
+Such an amalgamation is bound to mitigate the sectarian rancour that
+too often works like a pestilence in small villages and rural
+communities. It is an excellent feature, too, in such places as Arisaig,
+that the local priest gives every encouragement to his people to read
+and study secular books of an elevating character. It would be strange
+indeed if the representative of a Church which in medival times gave
+such splendid encouragement to art and letters, should deem it a duty to
+prohibit his people from availing themselves of the means of culture.
+
+It undoubtedly comes as a surprise to a Lowlander, who is prone to think
+that every born Scot is necessarily a born Protestant, to find in remote
+nooks of his native country, home-grown specimens of the faith that was
+once prevalent everywhere. He has to sit down and muse on the hillside
+over the matter, and, if he is imaginative, he will see by fancy's eye
+the skiff of St. Columba breasting the breakers on its way from Ireland
+to Iona.
+
+
+THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH.
+
+Of all the Churches or sects in Scotland, probably the most remarkable
+is the Episcopalian. Many Englishmen settle in the Lowlands for purposes
+of trade, and, in most cases, bring their religion with them. Such
+immigration explains the numerous Episcopal chapels in the towns of
+southern Scotland. But no such cause can explain the presence of scores
+of small Episcopal congregations in the rural districts of Aberdeen and
+Banff. These have not been imported from over the Border, but in reality
+have a long history behind them. Many of them date from the sixteenth
+and seventeenth centuries. The Stuart kings never liked Presbyterianism,
+and James I. tried to make the Scotch Church as like the English one as
+possible: in 1610, indeed, he managed to bring about the consecration of
+a certain number of Scotch bishops. The Episcopalians in the North
+showed a warm affection for the Stuarts during the distresses of that
+royal house, and such Jacobitism did the scattered congregations a deal
+of harm. The number of Episcopal chapels throughout the land is fairly
+high, but the total of the communicants is relatively small. The clergy
+are a most estimable and cultured body of men, and perform their duties,
+which are often very laborious, in an eminently exemplary fashion. Their
+stipends are ridiculously poor, and the scene of their labours is
+frequently the reverse of lively. Very often, in the bleak moors and
+glens of north-east Scotland, I have spent pleasant and memorable
+evenings in the village rectory. The modes of speech and general
+atmosphere of a Scotch rectory differ piquantly from those of the manse.
+It is certain that a clergyman who is in constant touch with the
+Anglican ritual, develops a special turn of talk and a characteristic
+set of mannerisms.
+
+I am convinced that, in learning and culture, the Episcopal clergy
+compare very favourably with those of the other Churches. Some of them
+have written, both in the departments of theology and general
+literature, works of outstanding and permanent value. In spite of all
+that, however, it does not seem probable that they will make many
+converts to their creed. Presbyterianism has a firm grip on the
+country: symbol and ritual do not thrive well in the cold air of the
+North. Once upon a time, in the Black Isle, as the records of the
+Arpafeelie Episcopal Church show, there was a strong feeling of
+antagonism to Presbyterianism; but that was in 1711, and was probably
+more political than religious.
+
+It is a well-known fact that a large proportion of the aristocracy and
+landed-gentry of Scotland are Episcopalians. This is due, not so much to
+the leisure they have for studying theological problems, as to the fact
+that most of them have been educated in English public schools.
+
+How pleasant it is to contemplate the broad-mindedness of the greatest
+of our Scotch Episcopalians, Sir Walter Scott, as seen in the
+thirty-seventh chapter of _Guy Mannering_! Speaking of religious
+differences, he makes Pleydell say: "_A plain man may go to heaven
+without thinking about them at all_." Even at the present day, there is
+a most regrettable lack of such urbanity in the disputes of educated
+theologians. I picked up a book not long since, which amused as well as
+shocked me greatly. It purported to be a history of _the_ Church in
+Scotland. The author was a facetious Episcopalian, for his history made
+no mention of either the Free, the Established, or the United
+Presbyterian denominations. The Episcopal sect alone had the honour of
+being dubbed a Church. Now, if a writer ever took it on him to write a
+history of the Church in England, he ought to devote space to _all_ the
+bodies, and be careful not to omit mention even of the Plymouth
+Brethren. I rather think that the Plymouth Brethren should have the
+lengthiest treatment of all, seeing that no shred of the Church
+resembles so closely the original type of Christianity.
+
+
+AN INTERLUDE OF METRE.
+
+I have often endeavoured to fix discourses from the Highland pulpits by
+embodying in metre (I do not say poetry) the leading thought or most
+striking illustration that I carried away. For the sake of variety and
+to prevent this chapter from appearing too frivolous, I, at this point,
+give one or two "moderate" sermons in little.
+
+
+I.
+
+ When heavy-laden Christian, panting sore,
+ Had gained the home of the Interpreter,
+ He saw a sorry fellow with great stir
+ Ply a vile muck-rake on a filthy floor;
+ And the more mire the churl raked, the more
+ He smiled, although a winged messenger
+ Floating aloft was eager to confer
+ On him the crown that in her hands she bore.
+ So is it with those fools that waste their days
+ In raking stores of dross and minted gear,
+ Oblivious of the crown of deathless rays
+ That God is offering freely to them here.
+ Miser! your stay on earth is short indeed,
+ Renounce the dross and choose the heavenly meed.
+
+
+II.
+
+ He that is wise will not in haste decide,
+ But look and think before believing aught;
+ Then, having long reflected, will confide
+ To no breast but his own his finished thought,
+ Until experience warrants every jot.
+ Man! Suffer not thy soul to yield to pride
+ Of intellect. Small is thy mortal lot
+ Of wisdom. Others seek the truth beside
+ Thyself. Behold aloft in air there fly
+ Fowls diverse all in nature, strength of wing
+ And keenness: even so the men who hie
+ On the soul's quests. In genius differing,
+ They all some twinkling sparks of truth may see,
+ But the whole flaming round is hid from them and thee.
+
+
+III.
+
+ Thou who in folly thinkest Heaven's King
+ Has sent thee into this fair world to gain
+ As many guineas as, with toil and pain,
+ In threescore years thine avarice can wring
+ From poorer men, be warned! With tiger-spring
+ Fell death will leap upon your life amain
+ And rive you from your opulence, though fain
+ To tarry. Then the jovial heir will fling
+ To the four winds of heaven thy gathered hoard
+ In flaunting joys and unrestricted glee,
+ While costly dishes glitter on the board
+ And the wine flows in ruddy runnels free.
+ Thou, meanwhile, in the shady realms below
+ A bloodless ghost, wilt wander to and fro.
+
+
+IV.
+
+I.
+
+ Though lilies on their graceful stalk
+ Droop, fade, and die,
+ Earth's still renewing forces mock
+ Death's cruelty.
+
+II.
+
+ For roots and seeds within the mould
+ Will thrust again
+ Their sheathed beauties manifold
+ Up to the plain.
+
+III.
+
+ Though flowery hopes of dazzling gleam
+ Wither and die,
+ New hopes in the soul's garden teem
+ Unceasingly.
+
+V.
+
+ O Lord of light, disperse my baffling fears,
+ Give me a look but for a moment's space
+ Upon the tranquil glory of Thy face,
+ To serve as force to fight the chilling years.
+ Clouds hide Thee from me, and the bitter tears
+ Run down my cheek in floods. Out of Thy grace
+ Let my heart's chamber be a dwelling-place
+ For Thee. Come for a little space. Mine ears
+ Strain for the hearing of a word divine
+ Straight from Thy holy lips. No single task
+ Can I at all accomplish or design
+ Without the full assurance that I ask
+ This, namely, that my soul is one with Thee,
+ And Thou dost work Thy purposes by me.
+
+
+THE CHRISTIAN BRETHREN.
+
+It would be well-spent labour if some sympathetic historian could find
+time to write a short account of the Plymouth Brethren, giving details
+of the origin, tenets, divisions, and influence of the sect. I am
+surprised that Mr. Barrie in his notable excursions into Scotch life and
+religion, has never portrayed such a fine specimen of the working-man
+turned theologian.
+
+It must not be supposed that only the rich and the leisurely have what
+is called religious experiences and shadowed souls. The finest
+developments, doubtless, of the religious sense require time and money.
+That leisurely groping after tendencies, that introspective analysis of
+the sins of omission and commission, that delightful perception of the
+falling away from righteousness of your brethren and sisters--all these
+choice sweets are, if they are to be adequately enjoyed, compatible only
+with a minimum of 300 a year. The religious sense and the musical are
+in many points alike. If you wish to develop an initially melodious
+soul, it means expense: you must go to professors, study counterpoint,
+practice many hours daily, and attend concerts of the most exclusive and
+expensive kind. Similarly with religion in its finest flower. You need
+slaves to cook and wash for you if you mean to ecstaticise and see
+beatific visions: you must get the most fashionable and picturesque
+specialists to come and feel your religious pulse, and you must on no
+account neglect the subscription lists. But only those rich enough to be
+hypochondriac can afford such luxuries. Now, in the toiling classes
+there are often good ears for music, and exquisite responsiveness to
+religious sensations. What satisfies such natures and such wants must be
+cheap. The Plymouth Brethren (I ought rather to say _Christian_
+Brethren), have no General Assembly, little or no pedantry of a costly
+kind, and yet, I believe, they supply all the exhilaration of schisms,
+splits, counter-splits, and heresy-hunts. Every man his own General
+Assembly! There may be a lack of the finer touches in such a system, but
+what is lacking in elegance is fully made up in clearness of view and
+rombustious vigour.
+
+In many of the fishing villages on the east coast of Scotland, there are
+large congregations of these worthy men raising their Ebenezers, and
+making a joyful noise on the first day of the week. I have a good deal
+of sympathy with their democratic and direct style of worship. In
+Scotland, when a man gets converted, he feels constrained to _do
+something_, but very often there is little outlet for his energy in the
+calm routine of the fashionable churches--hence the necessity for
+bethels and mission-houses. At their revivals, let me add, one is in
+presence of that mysterious awakening to which every religion owes its
+birth.
+
+In the autumn of 1906, I had an interesting talk with the minister of a
+seaside village on the shore of the Moray Firth, and was distressed to
+find that he was sorely harassed by the lively sect I have mentioned.
+Every now and again a wandering evangelist comes along the coast,
+pitches a tent, and begins a series of gospel services. Those who are
+converted, neglect the church and all its ordinances, and begin
+preaching on their own account; nay, they even buttonhole the minister
+and preach to _him_, accusing him of being an unjust steward, a
+hireling, and no shepherd, and so on. Such conduct creates a very
+painful situation. With a good deal of detail, the long-suffering
+clergyman gave me an account of a visit he had paid to an old woman
+recently converted. The narrative of her conversion as told by herself
+was quaint and touching: "They were a' gettin' it," she said, "and I
+wasna gettin' it. So I jist went to the door and steekit my e'en, and
+raised them to the lift, and _I got it_. Isn't that the way o't, auld
+man?" "Aye, aye, that's the way o't, auld wife," chimed in the husband.
+The latter then took up the wondrous tale: "When she came in and tell't
+me she had got it, I went doon on my knees to thank the Lord jist at the
+fireside, and lo and behold, when I opened my e'en, I was at the street
+door. The Spirit had taken me there, unbeknown to me. So I lifted up my
+voice and called on God's people. And in five minutes the room and
+kitchen were filled wi' saved folk, a' singing hymns, because my auld
+wife had got it at last."
+
+I also remember meeting an old thatcher of eminent talents who seemed to
+me to be on the straight road for Zion, for he fulfilled the Scriptural
+injunction to be fervent in spirit as well as not slothful in business.
+James had at one time been precentor in one of the regular churches, but
+owing to some cantankerous criticism of his melody, he seceded to the
+Brethren, who fearlessly accepted his services gratis. James was
+specially lyrical on the roof, and it was a treat to hear him sing
+"_There is rest for the weary_," as he pushed the thatch into its long
+home:--
+
+ "There is rest for the weary,
+ There is rest for the weary,
+ There is rest for _you_" (with a forceful thrust).
+
+I must not omit to mention (and with reverence be it spoken) that James
+had a reputation far and wide in the country-side, for the vigour and
+extreme unction of his grace before meat. Though giving a humble tenor
+to the initial phrases and using the tar-brush on himself, and the
+hungry company as putrid sinners unworthy even of the least of the
+mercies, he always contrived to reassure everyone by sunnily rounding
+off the matter with some rich and racy allusions to the gracious and
+ample promises of Holy Writ. One could have felt quite comfortable even
+in a slight excess of gluttony after such introductory words of
+blessing. You felt that the occasion had been met, that something like
+perfection had been attained. James was willing to admit shortcomings in
+thatching, or in any department of human activity, so long as his
+superiority in pre-prandial supplication was admitted. But it so
+happened that Fate, whose delight it is to imperil even the stablest
+reputations, sent his way a South-country Brother with a gift in prayer
+truly appalling. At a gathering at which James was present, this
+stranger was honoured by being asked to say grace. In the process, he
+soared to such heights of oratory and supplicatory fervour, that the
+uniform opinion of the guests, as evinced by looks, demeanour, and even
+congratulation, was that James had at last been beaten on his own
+ground. Supreme dejection settled on the thatcher, and neither bite nor
+sup could dislodge the settled melancholy of his soul. After long
+pondering with chin on chest in a corner of that pious throng, he had an
+idea. Sidling up to the matron of the house, he, with a terrible whisper
+of earnestness, addressed her in these words: "Mistress, before we gang
+hame, doon wi' a whang o' cheese and a farl o' cake--it'll no' cost ye
+much--and _I'll ha'e a tussle wi' him for't yet_." She gladly complied
+with his request. His excitement gave him inspiration, and over that
+cheese and oatcake, he delivered himself of such a grace as had never
+before proceeded from his lips. A murmur of involuntary admiration
+greeted the conclusion. James was comforted, and once more held his head
+erect.
+
+To talk of the Evolution of Religion to men like James would be a
+complete waste of time. Such men regard themselves as the acme of the
+process: whatever modifications may supervene after their day will be
+deteriorations. It is quite impossible to persuade an enthusiast that he
+is a mere phenomenon of development, and not, actually and now, the roof
+and crown of things. Even if persuasion were possible, it would be a
+cruelty to disillusionise these happy wights,--men who, with such
+sublime confidence, can read their title clear to mansions in the sky.
+They have a complete key to the universe, and are as happy as if they
+had seen the whole vast circle of truth.
+
+
+DRIMNIN IN MORVEN.
+
+How many of my readers know where Drimnin is? If I should say, "In the
+parish of Morven," it is possible the majority of them would not be
+greatly edified, unless they had acquaintance with the saintly Macleod's
+_Reminiscences of a Highland Parish_. Well, Drimnin is on the mainland,
+nearly opposite the entrance to the haven of Tobermory. The _Chevalier_
+nears into the coast when anyone wishes to land, and two boatmen,
+obeying a signal, pull out from shore into the open, and the passenger
+leaps, as gracefully as circumstances permit, into their arms--amid the
+cheers of those left on the steamer.
+
+The clergyman of Morven ministers to a parish that has over a hundred
+miles of seaboard, and, strange to say, there have been only three
+incumbents in it during the last hundred and thirty years, himself being
+the third, with twenty-six years' ministry to his credit so far. These
+facts procured him an extraordinary reception in America, where he spent
+a holiday recently. The Americans, with whom change is the permanent
+element, looked with amazement on a minister who came from a parish with
+such a record. They thronged round his hotel to get shaking hands with
+him, while he blushed to think that homage was being paid to the
+longevity of his predecessors. It is no treat to be a lion in Maine.
+
+The visitor to Drimnin should return to Oban by driving to Lochaline,
+where there is a pier. A mere glance up that inlet of Lochaline is
+sufficient to prove the unerring accuracy of Sir Walter's description:
+"Fair Lochaline's woodland shore." Scott had a marvellous eye for
+scenery, and having once seen a locality, could describe it better than
+a native could do who had lived in the neighbourhood from youth
+upwards.[19]
+
+ [19] I may here refer to a pleasant three hours spent in rowing
+ on Lochaline in the company of Mr. Hugh Macintyre, an old
+ gentleman full of Scott and well versed in the lore of the
+ locality. He was a policeman in Glasgow for thirty-five years
+ (latterly as guardian of the Kelvingrove Picture Gallery), and
+ now, in the enjoyment of good health and a pension, spends his
+ time reading and doing good in his native district. Mr.
+ Macintyre's earliest recollection is of his father being evicted
+ from a small holding, at the head of the loch, in the "forties."
+
+ Tennyson and Palgrave were visitors at Ardtornish, as Mr. Lang
+ tells us, but made no special impression on the natives, who
+ styled them respectively _Tinman_ and _Pancake_.
+
+
+CRAIGNISH.
+
+At Craignish (two miles _or so_ from Ardfern, next pier to Luing on the
+way from Crinan to Oban) I was astonished to find what I think is unique
+in Scotland, an old clergyman, born in 1824, still, without any aid
+whatever, performing all the duties of a parish minister in one of the
+wildest parts of Argyllshire. I refer to the Rev. Mr. M'Michael, who was
+chairman at the lecture. The old gentleman, who is remarkably hale in
+body and never melancholy at meal-time (as he slyly puts it), is prone
+to speak by preference of the events of "auld lang syne." He gave me a
+most vivid account of Professor John Wilson (whom, as I do not now live
+in Paisley, I may safely venture to call Paisley's _greatest_ son), who
+was one of his teachers, and who, as "Christopher North," wrote so many
+witty and solid articles that undeservedly perished in _Blackwood's
+Magazine_ at the beginning of last reign. I have rarely had such a treat
+as my talk with this hale-hearted octogenarian. His charming daughters
+keep house for him, and employ their leisure time weaving at a loom of
+their own. The sheep that graze on the glebe supply the wool, and the
+intermediate stages between the back of the sheep and the woollen
+overcoat on the back of the needy are all supervised by these dexterous
+daughters of the manse.
+
+The coach to Craignish passes through a bit of Scotland that, in the
+leafy month of June, must be glorious to behold. I passed along in a
+fierce and chilling blizzard of sleet and snow. If a poet could keep
+warm, thought I, this would be the spot for him to get impressive scenes
+for his word-pictures. At one part, the road ziz-zags up a hill for
+three miles, alongside a furious burn, to a height of six hundred feet;
+from which eminence one sees, on the right, great bare crags and steep
+heights, and, on the left, an inlet of the Atlantic foaming wildly
+below. Ye gentlemen of the cloth, whose lot is cast in towns and who sit
+at home in ease, think of the trials of your rural brethren in their
+attempts to drive in winter through drifting snow to a presbytery
+meeting fourteen miles away![20]
+
+ [20] I could mention another rural parish, considerably further
+ north, where, two winters ago, the roads were so badly blocked
+ with snow that for five consecutive weeks no church services
+ could be held! Both minister and congregation were overcome with
+ grief.
+
+
+A MODEL MINISTER.
+
+Not far from the city of Aberdeen is a little village of seafaring folk,
+and the worthy minister, the Rev. Mr. Pollock, is guide, philosopher,
+and friend to the entire community. Up to his manse, which is a mile
+from the uneven and fishy streets, there is a constant _va-et-vient_ of
+parishioners. One old widow wishes him to write to her son at the
+Yarmouth fishing, herself being ignorant of English spelling; this old
+man, painfully hobbling uphill on his stick, and muttering to himself as
+he goes, desires the faithful pastor to come and cheer a bed-ridden wife
+who is failing fast; that young fisher-lass will blush as she tells that
+her young man is on the way home to claim her as his own, with the
+Church's aid. Mr. Pollock is the confidential repository of all their
+secrets: nothing in their lives is hidden from him; he knows all of
+comic and tragic in their lowly careers. Along with his wife, he visits
+every house in the place, and from intimate knowledge can tell you,
+nodding his head to this or that house as he walks along, the worth or
+worthlessness of every native of the village. His time is so fully taken
+up with pure religion and undefiled, that he has no time to waste on the
+Higher Criticism.
+
+A tout for some wandering minstrels recently came over from Aberdeen,
+meaning to leave one of his red-and-yellow bills (announcing a
+performance) in each of the local shops. The minister saw him as he
+distributed the bills, and closely followed up on his trail. Mr. Pollock
+entered each shop and said to the shopkeeper: "Please let me see the
+bill you have there in the window." On getting it, he would scan it, and
+request to get keeping it. In no shop was he refused, so that by the
+time he got to the end of the village, he was carrying two dozen large
+concert placards, while the tout, merrily whistling, and all unconscious
+of the nullity of his labours, was on his way back to Aberdeen. "Lead us
+not into temptation," said the minister, as he thrust the garish
+announcements into his study stove. None of Mr. Pollock's flock were at
+the concert that night. Perhaps, if any had gone, little harm would have
+been done. The minister, however, thought they were better at home, or
+at the local prayer-meeting.
+
+Mr. Pollock's predecessor was a thin, unemotional man--a geologist--who
+spent an important percentage of his time chipping rocks and looking for
+fossils. Owing to this mania, his flock were forgotten, and came to
+forget _him_. No wonder if the church attendance dwindled! _Ab uno disce
+omnes_, as Virgil says. One day this ordained geologist had agreed to
+baptize a child in a hamlet some miles away, and set forth to walk to
+the place in good time. Unhappily, by the roadside, there was a quarry,
+into which, by instinct, the minister glided, keen and eager-eyed. He
+stayed therein for four hours, and forgot all about the infant
+(squalling, no doubt, in special robe, and impatient for the
+christening), the waiting relatives, the inevitable decanter, and the
+thick cuts of indigestible bun. The minister, I say, trudged home with
+his treasure-trove of petrified ferns and foot-marked shale--a greater
+fossil than any under his own cases of glass. His memory was stirred by
+his wife's catechising, but it was too late to undo the mischief.
+
+
+MINISTERIAL TRIALS IN OLDEN TIMES.
+
+In modern times, ministers are badly paid, considering the expenses of
+their training and long education, but they are better paid than they
+used to be. In 1756, the minister of Ferintosh, a big, active man, with
+the object of adding something to his stipend, leased the meal-mill of
+Alcaig from the laird of Culloden. The combination of miller and
+minister did not please his parishioners. It never occurred to these
+clowns that the occupation of miller is singularly adapted for
+reflection: spiritual and bodily nourishment (thought of together) might
+well form a field of thought fertile in instructive metaphors; "the dark
+round of the dripping wheel," the work of separating husks and flour,
+the topics of dearth and abundance, might all come to have a homiletic
+value to a serious-minded teacher of religion. But a cry of scandal,
+directed not against themselves for underpaying their minister, but
+against that worthy man for being an _ordained miller_, arose in the
+parish. A member of the congregation was deputed to give a gentle hint
+to the minister that the two occupations were incompatible. The
+interview took place on the high road. "What news this morning, Thomas?"
+said the minister. "Have you not heard of the fearful news?" said
+Thomas. "No, what is it?" "Well, everybody's saying," said Thomas, with
+a whisper of affected horror, "that _the minister's wife has taken up
+with the big miller of Alcaig_." The delicacy of this hint was such that
+the minister resigned his lease.
+
+The trials of ministers long ago were truly great. Witches had to be
+reckoned with, as the aforementioned Ferintosh minister, who was their
+foe, knew to his cost. By their incantations they caused him to be
+afflicted with somnolency. As this sleepy fit usually came on in church
+between the first psalm and the prayer, it can be easily seen how awful
+were the reprisals of these Satanic hags.
+
+
+AN ARTFUL DODGER.
+
+The Rev. Mr. Rogers, minister of a parish in Fife, was, like many
+another worthy man, in sore financial straits at one period of his life.
+He was a widower, and probably this fact accounts for his displenished
+exchequer. With supreme audacity he touched the bell of a rich old
+maiden lady, and on entering her boudoir he bluntly admitted his lack of
+funds, and said, "Give me 200 and I'll marry you." She gave him the
+money, and for months after never saw his face. Finally she wrote asking
+an interview. He came, and she tartly said, "Did you not say, Mr.
+Rogers, that if I gave you 200, you would marry me?" "Certainly I did,"
+said the cunning minister, "and _I'm ready to marry you whenever you
+produce your man: where is he_?" This anecdote shows the difficulty of
+being unambiguous when speaking English, and furnishes an argument for
+the adoption of French as the language of courtship as well as of
+diplomacy.
+
+The same foxy ecclesiastic wished two things, both of which his heritors
+flatly refused: (a) a new manse, and (b) a site with a wide
+prospect. Finding them intractable, he professed humility, and craved
+merely a species of scaffolding to buttress up one of the walls of the
+old manse. The heritors marvelled a little at the strange request, but,
+glad of being saved from the cost of a new building, authorised the
+buying of some sturdy joists to prop up a wall that the minister averred
+was off the plumb. No sooner was the buttressing timber in position than
+Mr. Rogers appeared with a violent complaint in the Sheriff Court,
+declaring that the manse was like to fall about his ears, and that the
+heritors had palpably admitted the danger by erecting a scaffold. The
+Sheriff expressed strong disapproval of the heritors' stinginess, and
+ordered them to get a new manse built for the minister. Now as to the
+site! To spite Mr. Rogers, the heritors determined to deprive him of a
+good view, and directed the St. Andrews builder to erect the new manse
+down in the valley on a broad bank by a burnside. The master-builder
+placed pegs and marks in the ground at the prescribed place and returned
+to St. Andrews, telling his workmen to proceed next day to begin the
+work, and mentioning that they would know the site by marks he had
+placed there. At cockcrow the minister was afoot, busy transferring the
+pegs to the summit of a lovely knoll. The tradesmen came out to the
+country, and looking for the site found it on the hill-top and began
+their work. After they had been a week or more on the walls, out from
+St. Andrews came the master to see how his men were progressing. He came
+near a complete collapse when he saw his men on the hill instead of in
+the valley. He spoke winged words to them, but it was too late. In such
+fashion did Mr. Rogers outwit his heritors. I regret that no literary
+relics of this acute divine are to be had. He seems to have been in his
+way a kind of Higher Critic judging from a remark he made on the Ark:
+"How did you manage," he said, as if addressing Noah in person, "how did
+you manage to keep the first plank of your boat from getting rotten
+before the last was nailed on, if you actually took 120 years to put the
+whole thing together?"
+
+
+SOME ANECDOTES FROM GIGHA.
+
+The late minister of Gigha, a small island community of 360 souls off
+the coast of Kintyre was a cleric of great humour and full of stories.
+His church was the only one in the island, a fact of which he was proud.
+At a communion service, a minister from the mainland, struck off a
+monumental phrase in one of his prayers. He said "Thou hast shown, O
+Lord, Thy confidence in Thy servant, the devout minister of Gigha, for
+lo! out of the plentitude of Thy great mercy Thou has seen fit _to give
+him an island all to himself_." I have heard and do in part believe it,
+that the effect of such a supplication in Gaelic is overpoweringly
+strong.
+
+This same minister "of the island," whose digestion I may say, was so
+perfect that he could triumphantly absorb strong tea and poached eggs as
+a regular midnight meal, told me one night over this collation, the
+story of a fisherman in one of the Western Islands, whose prayer before
+going to sea was of a singular character. He invariably addressed the
+Deity as _Sibshe_ (You) instead of the ordinary _Thusa_ (Thou). On one
+occasion, when the weather was squally and danger was anticipated, he
+prayed thus: "O Lord God, my Beloved, if You would be so good as to take
+the care of Mary and Jessie, my daughters; but that She-Devil, my wife,
+the daughter of Peter Macpherson, I am indifferent about her: she will
+have another husband before I am eaten by the crabs!"
+
+Here follows another well-known story from the same authority. A
+Lowlander, taking a week's sail on one of Macbrayne's cargo-boats
+stepped ashore, on Sunday morning, at a remote insular port, to attend
+church, as was fit and proper. The text was the well-known verse "Can
+the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard his spots?" The minister,
+strange to say, preached a long and painfully vivid sermon on _leprosy_.
+The tourist waited, after sermon, in order to talk with the minister and
+quietly remonstrate with him. He said: "You gave us an excellent
+discourse to-day, but do you think it followed quite appropriately from
+the text: surely you are aware that a _leopard_ and a _leper_ are two
+different things." The minister, eying the tourist with a look of
+indignant scorn for a second, lifted up his voice and denounced him
+thus: "Out of my sight with you: I know what you are; you are one of
+these pestilent fellows called Higher Critics. Begone!"
+
+In the Long Island, it is an article of fixed belief among the stricter
+Presbyterians that Catholics are outside any scheme of salvation.
+Episcopalians, too, are regarded as being in an extremely dubious
+position. Any stick, however, is good enough to beat the partisans of
+the Pope. "Brethren," said a minister near Stornoway, "I have forgotten
+my sermon to-day: but _I'll just say a word or two against the
+Catholics_." Such a philippic, he seemed to think, could never be out of
+season.
+
+Denunciation has always been a favourite method of the religious bigot.
+If the various sects of the Christian Church, could go on their way,
+ameliorating the world, and leaving each other in peace, the millennium
+would be within reasonable distance. I heard a U.F. say to a Wee Free:
+"Donald, you'll no' gang to Heaven, _because I'm bad_." The sentence is
+good enough for an epigram. Unfortunately, too many of our sectaries
+think it the prime virtue of their faith to run down their neighbours.
+
+
+GROWING POPULARITY OF RUSKIN.
+
+One of the most cheerful features in the present-day thought of
+Scotland, and one from which we may anticipate excellent results in
+every department of social and religious life, is the growing popularity
+of the great apostle of the nineteenth century, John Ruskin. Though
+dead, he continues to speak; and from close inspection of the registers
+that show in detail the nature of the books asked for, at the various
+village libraries, I have noted, with no small pleasure, that Ruskin's
+works are eagerly read all over the Highlands and islands of Scotland.
+This is something quite new, and will, I am certain, work immense good.
+
+For Ruskin's work in the department of religion, no words can be too
+commendatory. His genius was in thorough accord with the spirit of the
+Biblical writers, and his modes of speech and illustration perpetually
+reminiscent of Scripture. He loses no opportunity of dwelling on the
+culturing influence of the Bible. There is also a fine tolerance in his
+religious teaching, which is alike helpful and suggestive. His is that
+variety of teaching which we find most effectively outside of the ranks
+of professional commentators, and which comes through the keen flashes
+of genius that accompany the insight of the literary artist. He has
+pointed out to us with great eloquence that, while specific doctrines
+take at various epochs very different degrees of importance, and aspects
+of rite, ceremony, and all that, appeal with changing force to different
+generations, the essence of religious feeling, without which dogma
+becomes harsh and rite insipid, hardly varies at all; seeing that in the
+musings of the great minds of all ages, we have oftenest the pure gold
+of devotion, mingled, though it may sometimes be, with the adhesive
+dross of superstition. He also warns us of the danger of mistaking
+pugnacity for piety, and earnestly urges that, at every moment of our
+lives, we should be trying to find out, not in what we differ from other
+men, but in what we agree. Ruskin considers this to be the correct
+spirit in which to approach ancient as well as modern religion,
+believing that if a reader cannot understand a spiritual agency, or
+thinks that the best of ancient men were not dominated by any such, the
+understanding of the very alphabet of history will be endangered. It
+would tend greatly to salvation from arid formalism, if ministers would
+teach that Plato, Sophocles, Browning, Carlyle, are all apostles of
+religion. A living word from an intuitionist like the last-named not
+unfrequently vivifies with new force the dark sayings of a Hebrew seer,
+in much more direct fashion than half-a-score of mutilated Pentateuchs
+made in the delirium of the Higher Criticism.
+
+In spite of his unsystematic procedure, Ruskin deserves to be numbered
+among the men who have earned the gratitude of their fellows, by
+translating some of the ever-vital aspects of religion into the
+vocabulary of the hour. The language of religious discourse is liable to
+a subtle kind of pedantry, requiring a vigorous intellect adequately to
+dissolve. New illustrations, novel forms of definition, are often
+helpful in expelling the dreariness of outworn and meaningless phrases.
+Ruskin's task is facilitated by the nice balance of his intellectual and
+imaginative endowments, by the fact that his words are not mere symbols
+of definite connotation, but marvellous centres of emotional force.
+Happily he did not seek to elaborate any system of religion: but now
+here, now there, in his books, one comes upon the pure gold of religion,
+enshrined in exquisite jewelries of diction, which glimmer on (if I may
+say so) to the utmost verge of emotion, and more successfully than any
+formal harangue, work out their intended function. Such works as _Unto
+this Last_ and _Munera Pulveris_, however keen the mental antagonism
+they may initially provoke, mark a period in the spiritual life of the
+reader: no matter what the prepossessions of a man may be, these books
+will modify them. He is reverent, but, like Plato, he is dynamic. You
+can't sit at ease as you read his pages, for they are charged as much
+with defiance as with guidance.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+EDUCATIONAL.
+
+ Some Insular Dominies--Education Act of 1872--Education in the
+ Highlands--Feeding the hungry--Parish Council
+ boarders--Dwindling attendances--Arnisdale--Golspie Technical
+ School--On the Sidlaws--Some surprises--Arran schools--Science
+ and literature--Study of Scott--The old classical dominie--Vogue
+ of Latin in former times--Teachers and
+ examinations--Howlers--Competing subjects.
+
+
+SOME INSULAR DOMINIES.
+
+It is by no means an easy matter for a teacher to get south again once
+he is installed in a remote Highland school. He accepts a distant rural
+or insular post, marries the girl of his heart, gets settled in the
+schoolhouse of the glen or township, and rarely moves thence all the
+succeeding years of his life. He becomes identified with local affairs;
+plays whist maybe with the doctor, the factor, and the banker; and is
+apt to magnify the cackle of his bourg into the great Voice that echoes
+round the world. The monotony of his life is varied by such happenings
+as a birth or a death in his own household, a visit from the emissary of
+My Lords, an epidemic of measles, a general election, and the like. I
+don't say these men are unhappy, but unless they develop a hobby,
+torpidity is bound to settle like a mist upon their brains. Such studies
+as geology, botany, and gardening, are sovereign for driving off the
+vapours of ennui. Nor are golf, angling, and the composition of verse,
+specifics that the rural dominie can afford to despise.
+
+I have in my mind at this moment the portraits of many notable gentlemen
+(for true gentlemen they are, though their purses are thin) who have
+given up their lives to educating the progeny of the inclement North.
+Lamont, for example, whom I remember as a first-class mathematician, is
+living in the marshy navel of an Outer Isle, amid wild-fowl and spirals
+of peat-reek. If you want to visit him you have (1) to cross the billowy
+western deep; (2) drive fifteen miles in a trap; (3) traverse a
+four-mile arm of the sea in a ferry that needs baling; (4) proceed seven
+miles to another ferry two miles in breadth; (5) hop, step, and jump
+three miles along a narrow and tortuous track, enough to give vertigo to
+a goat. Lamont is not unhappy: he keeps his mind active by solving stiff
+quadratic equations and fiddling with Cartesian co-ordinates. I hope he
+will get credit for all these studies, when the last trump sounds, for
+he gets little enough at present.
+
+Ramsay, too, is a dweller among these treeless bogs, and is engaged,
+during his leisure, on a translation of Anacreon which will never be
+finished, or, if finished, will never be published. I called on him and
+immolated myself on the altar of his Anacreon in order to give him a
+little pleasure. He, later on, enlarged on his school, scholars, and
+daily life. The horizon of the boys and girls is extremely limited: most
+of them have never seen either a pig or a policeman. Cabbages have only
+been recently introduced into the district, but are already thriving
+wonderfully well considering the thin soil. There are of course no
+trees: for what trees could stand against the buffeting of the fierce
+wintry gales of the Atlantic? Ramsay's only chum is a missionary, who is
+of an antiquarian turn, and goes fumbling about for arrow-heads and
+prehistoric bracelets, especially after a storm, when the hill-sides are
+laid bare.
+
+Neither Lamont nor Ramsay know a word of Gaelic, and there they are in
+districts where English is a foreign language. Needless to say, the lack
+of Gaelic is a terrible drawback to these two men. They should never
+have been where they are, for they are aliens. The scholars, unbreeched
+little rogues, have an advantage over their teacher, and in the
+playground talk the tongue of the Celt invariably, and may be maligning
+him for all he knows. I am afraid, too, that teacher and minister do not
+always consider themselves as auxiliaries in these outer isles. The
+younger generation of teachers have, as might be expected, a more
+extensive knowledge of books than the old school of Presbyterian
+ministers. The latter, feeling their literary inferiority, are inclined
+to regard the teacher as an intruder whose work in the school-room will
+cause the rising generation to look slightingly on the "essentials." I
+have in my possession numerous letters from Highland teachers dealing
+with this fear on the part of the clergy, that novels and secular
+literature generally will pervert the minds of the people. The addition
+of Mrs. Humphrey Ward's books to a library was recently likened to the
+arrival of the Serpent in Eden.
+
+
+EDUCATION ACT OF 1872.
+
+In one of the best-known chapters of _Rob Roy_, Bailie Nicol Jarvie, the
+utilitarian Glasgow merchant, says to his cattle-reiving kinsman: "Your
+boys, Rob, dinna ken the very multiplication table, which is the root o'
+a useful knowledge, and it's my belief they can neither read, write, nor
+cipher, if sic a thing could be believed o' ane's ain connections in a
+Christian land." Rob replies in a sentence that is worthy of being put
+alongside the remark of old Earl Douglas in the poem of _Marmion_:
+"Hamish can bring down a blackcock on the wing with a single bullet, and
+Rob can drive a dirk through a twa-inch board." These quotations
+adequately explain the almost complete absence of prose remains in the
+literature of the Gael. Bards there were in plenty, but they could
+neither read nor write.
+
+In the year 1872, education was made the concern of the nation. It was
+rightly considered to be a standing menace to the security of the realm
+that ignorance, which is the parent of disorder and lawlessness, should
+be the doom of a large proportion of the nation. Rather than hazard the
+dangers of an illiterate population, education was undertaken by the
+State, and paid for out of the national purse. The analogy between
+disease and ignorance is, in truth, sufficiently close to justify both
+sanitation and education coming into the wide domain of imperial duties.
+
+Looking back on the changes that resulted in the Lowlands from the
+Education Act of 1872, we see grounds for criticism. The measure, like
+all earthly things, was imperfect. There was something hard and
+inelastic about the system fostered by the old Code. The psychology of
+Child Nature was almost totally ignored. A system of examination was
+established that assumed an equal and mechanical progress on the part of
+every child every year. Yet, in spite of grave defects, the Act of 1872
+brought inestimable blessings with it. For one thing, the health
+conditions of education were vastly improved. Many of the old schools
+were absolute hovels. After 1872, large, airy, and spacious buildings,
+were erected in every district of the land. It was no longer a case of
+one old dominie facing singly a whole regiment of unruly youngsters:
+every school was organised and disciplined into regular and seemly
+order. We had the advantage in Scotland of a complete system of School
+Boards, and that awakened an intense and universal interest in
+educational affairs. The old parochial schools of Scotland had many
+admirable features, but in 1872 they were quite unfit to cope with the
+nation's needs. On the whole, the School Board system was a decided boon
+to the land.
+
+
+EDUCATION IN THE HIGHLANDS.
+
+It is only since the Act of 1872 that any education of a serious or
+systematic kind has been attempted in the Celtic parts of Scotland.
+Nevertheless, a word of praise is due to the Society for Promoting
+Christian Knowledge and other civilising agencies of the Churches
+(Established and Free), for their work during the educational night that
+preceded the Act. These agencies were, of course, utterly inadequate to
+meet the needs of the Highlands, as may be easily seen from the fact
+that in 1862, over 47 per cent. of the men who married, could not sign
+their own names. But, indeed, what resources, save those of the Imperial
+Treasury, could ever be adequate to meet the expense of educating the
+children spread over such wide and sparsely-peopled tracts? Sheriff
+Nicolson, one of the most fervid Gaels that ever lived, made a report to
+Government in 1865, characterising the education given in the Highland
+schools as lamentably insufficient.
+
+The effects of the Act of 1872 were slow but sure, and in the course of
+fifteen years a change, analogous to that effected by General Wade in
+the state of the roads, was brought about in the realm of education. Yet
+the expenses involved in the working of the measure were of an unduly
+burdensome kind, in spite of the generous bounty of the Education
+Department. In some of the large parishes of the Long Island, the heavy
+school rate was such a cause of complaint that My Lords were forced to
+take very drastic measures to relieve the financial strain. In summing
+up the results of the Education Act, Professor Magnus Maclean says:
+"Among the good things that education has brought the Highlanders, are a
+knowledge of English, wider social and political interests, a brighter
+intelligence and brighter outlook, freedom from mental vacuity and
+traditional superstitions."
+
+
+FEEDING THE HUNGRY.
+
+Probably, as I have hinted, one of the chief benefits of the Education
+Act, was that teaching had to be carried on in conditions of space and
+air. Given such conditions and an enthusiastic master, some good
+progress will certainly be made.
+
+Connected with the physical side of education we have had, of late,
+signs of a new departure. There is a talk of _feeding the hungry_.
+
+Every parent worthy of the name is proud to provide food and clothing
+for his children. That's what he's there for. But it does not require
+much keenness of vision to see that there are many parents unworthy of
+the name, and that, by the dark and inscrutable degrees of Heaven, such
+worthless individuals are often allowed to be parents of a numerous
+progeny. We must (i) inject into these wastrels the feeling of
+responsibility and (ii) prevent the children from dying of starvation.
+The first problem requires lengthy treatment and is perhaps hopeless of
+accomplishment; the second can be done at once by philanthropy, either
+individual or national.
+
+However much it may wound the pride of our gilded youth, it can hardly
+be asserted that birth and rank are matters that involve the slightest
+personal merit. It seems to be an affair of the purest accident into
+what class of society a child is born. We have overcome the difficulties
+and dangers of youth--most of us--but it might well have been otherwise.
+Soften your hearts, ye political economists, and cease to regard the
+poor, the weak, and the wretched as criminals. If there is no wealth
+but life, our country must soon be poor indeed should the rising
+generation be sickly and underfed. Bairns must not be allowed to study
+on an empty stomach.
+
+
+PARISH COUNCIL BOARDERS.
+
+Let me here mention a point alluded to by more than one friend of the
+Highlands. It has reference to one aspect of the new science called
+Eugenics, which deals with the means for producing the maximum of vigour
+in our nation. It is not well enough known that for years the
+authorities have been pouring into a few of the islands and straths of
+the North and West a great number of maimed, consumptive, and mentally
+defective children. Some houses in the Hebrides have three or four of
+these children, who, but for the action of the authorities, would be
+living under the most deplorable conditions of life in the towns. The
+results, as regarding improvement in health and physique, are of the
+most encouraging kind.[21]
+
+After a certain age the official subsidy ceases, and the children as a
+rule go to work on the farms and crofts. It is evident that such
+extensive planting out of city boys and girls is bound by and by to work
+a great change in the composition of our rural districts. It is believed
+that some of the islands would soon be without children but for these
+incomers: it is a well-known fact that the indigenous youthful
+population of certain of them is very meagre indeed. We are thus in
+modern times witnessing some most instructive operations of Nature: for
+generations the country has been depleted to swell the bloated
+population of the towns; and now the wastage of the cities is being sent
+back to the country to get a renewal of vigour at the primeval fountain
+of health.
+
+There is one further point of great moment. As a proportion, relatively
+large, of these children come of morally dubious parentage, it is of
+supreme interest to know their subsequent career and conduct. I have
+seen reports and statistics which seem to prove that questionable
+heredity can be overborne by healthy surroundings and good training; in
+other words, that the offspring of criminals may, if rescued early from
+a vicious environment, become respectable citizens. Such facts ought to
+rejoice the hearts of all moral reformers.
+
+ [21] In that part of South Arran which lies between Dippen and
+ Shannochie, there is high up on the hillside, a row of cottages
+ and crofts collectively nicknamed "Mount Misery." The reason for
+ this sinister name is that in most of the houses there is some
+ maimed, consumptive, or imbecile child boarded out by the Parish
+ Council. The children are better there than selling matches at
+ St. Enoch's Station: they are well looked after and almost
+ invariably improve in health.
+
+
+DWINDLING ATTENDANCES.
+
+It is in the country school that the need for new blood is most apparent
+to the eye. In schools capable of holding 120 children, you will often
+find a shrunken roll of less than a dozen. A gentleman of mature years
+usually does all the teaching and keeps himself from getting insane by
+breeding hens and cultivating roses in his spare time. He has also, in
+all likelihood, the little pickings of officialdom in the district, and
+is registrar, session-clerk, and precentor. One facetious teacher, who
+dwelt on a wide moor, headed his letter to me _Parish Council Chambers_,
+thereby suggesting marble staircases and sumptuous furniture. It was
+this same teacher who, on being asked to bring forward Standard V. for
+inspection, had to admit that Standard V. was laid up with a broken leg.
+For such small schools there is an increasing difficulty in finding male
+teachers.[22] Widows, who in their ante-nuptial days, had been engaged
+in teaching are often preferred to men, for reasons of salary. The lot
+of such women, who have usually families to support out of their meagre
+earnings, is hard indeed: if they keep their health, they manage
+tolerably well, but when illness comes into the house, there must be a
+deal of suffering and distress. The young pupils who attend the remote
+schools of the uplands, also deserve much sympathy. During the heavy
+snows and extreme cold of winter, these children--often ill-shod and
+scantily fed--have to trudge along miles of country cross-roads or
+hill-paths to their little school. Our country is a glory to the eye
+when mid-summer and autumn are there, but think of the harsh winter
+months with their torrents of driving rain, their whirlwinds of hail
+and sleet and the icy nip of the blasts that blow down the snow-sheeted
+glens.
+
+ [22] A country teacher in Kintyre, with a roll of eight, said to
+ me: "We have had only one marriage in the district during the
+ last year, and the bridegroom was aged _three score and fifteen_.
+ I wonder what education is coming to: there is little or no
+ patriotism about Kintyre or my roll would be higher. I wish I
+ could get the people to think more imperially than they do at
+ present."
+
+
+ARNISDALE, ETC.
+
+It will be perhaps interesting to the general reader if I strive, by
+drawing on my reminiscences, to give him an idea of how education is
+carried on in certain remote corners of Scotland at the present time. He
+will, perhaps, be led to admire as much as I do the noble work that is
+being done by teachers and inspectors for the rising generation of the
+country.
+
+Arnisdale, on the mainland facing Skye, is a very destitute district,
+and has suffered much from the failure of the once-flourishing
+herring-fishery of Loch Hourn. One can see by the attire of the children
+that the poverty must be exceptional, even for the Highlands. The
+teacher says that in winter she has to think as much how to feed the
+children as to teach them. By the charity of some benevolent visitors,
+she was, last winter, able to give the pupils a mid-day meal of cocoa
+and biscuits. It is a sad contrast to the extraordinary beauty of this
+picturesque spot that such dire misery should overtake a proportion of
+the natives during the winter season.
+
+Arnisdale is not very accessible, even in the height of the summer
+traffic, and when one gets there, it is a problem how to get away. I
+asked the captain of the _Glencoe_ to set me down near what is called
+the _dry island_, in Loch Hourn, and thence I was rowed ashore by two
+very wild-looking, unkempt boatmen. The school-house, where I lodged, is
+right on the beach, and just at the base of the gigantic Ben Screel.
+Twelve miles along the coast, by a road of the most awe-inspiring kind,
+one comes to the interesting nook of Glenelg, with its Pictish towers
+and ruined barracks.
+
+It was a mild and hazy morning when I traversed the road between
+Arnisdale and Glenelg. On coming to the summit, a great breeze arose and
+drove away the heavy white mists from the Sound of Sleat, and showed the
+white, sentinel-like lighthouse of Isle Ornsay and great fertile
+stretches of the near portion of Skye. Reluctantly the clouds finally
+curled and rolled away before the wind and the glitter of the sun, until
+the Cuchullins were visible beyond the water and the green peninsula of
+Sleat.
+
+In a cosy recess near the highest part of the road, beside a bubbling
+spring, a _gipsy family_ had pitched its tent. I admired the taste shown
+in the selection of a place commanding such a view. The family was still
+under canvas, but hanging on the branch of a tree was a worn and
+mud-stained skirt. Do not ladies in hotels, in similar fashion, hang out
+their dusty and travel-soiled attire at the doors of their chambers? And
+perhaps the dark-skinned owner had hung up her dank and dripping weeds
+in the hope that some silvan faun or Robin Goodfellow would, without a
+tip, perform the dusting process, in this case so palpably necessary. We
+do wrong in supposing that imagination is not the portion of these
+woodland rovers.
+
+One of the most difficult problems of the Education Department is to see
+that gipsy children get a suitable amount of schooling. "Here awa',
+there awa', wandering Willie," is applicable to all their tribe. How
+can progressive instruction be carried on where there is no fixity of
+habitation? One day the camp is pitched on an eminence overlooking Loch
+Hourn; but before twelve hours have passed, the nomads may have crossed
+the ferry at Kyleakin and be warming their hands round a blaze of stolen
+peats in the wild moorland between Portree and Dunvegan. Only in winter,
+when frost and snow drive the gipsies into the city slums, do the
+children get some smattering of the three R's.
+
+
+GOLSPIE TECHNICAL SCHOOL.
+
+There are now in the Highlands a number of excellent higher class public
+schools, in which the elements of secondary education are taught. The
+pupils in these schools are drawn from wide areas, and, by means of
+bursaries, can board away from their own homes. The Golspie Technical
+School is an altogether unique higher-grade institution. At a library
+lecture delivered in Golspie, the boys belonging to the school
+(forty-eight in number, divided into four clans, each with a chief) were
+present, accompanied by the Principal and his staff. My attention was at
+once drawn to them by their fine physique, their gentlemanly bearing,
+and their earnest attention. Next day, I had the pleasure of visiting
+the school and seeing the working of the scheme initiated by the Duchess
+of Sutherland.
+
+The institution is really a boarding-school for poor lads of talent
+belonging to the northern counties. They are under the eye of some
+teacher at every hour of the day, and are kept incessantly busy, not at
+books alone. They are taught to do their own washing, dusting,
+scrubbing, cooking, and darning. The training is excellent: one is
+impressed by its practical character and educational thoroughness. Latin
+and Greek are not attempted at all, the literary instruction being
+entirely based on English and the modern tongues. The science part of
+the curriculum is remarkably complete, and art is by no means neglected.
+
+Before a pupil has the good fortune to be admitted, the Principal visits
+the parents. It is almost incredible (so he told me) the squalor of some
+of the cots he had seen. Too often, in the Highlands, the one bedroom of
+the family (frequently identical with the kitchen) has free
+communication with a malodorous byre or stye. What a contrast with the
+dormitory of the Technical School, where there is no lullaby of lowing
+kine, but a tranquil, high-roofed hall that would do for the siesta of
+the Duke of Sutherland himself!
+
+
+ON THE SIDLAWS.
+
+High up on a spur of the Sidlaw Hills in the county of Forfar, there is
+a wee school that supplies education for a wide and sparsely-peopled
+countryside. The teacher is Mr. Brown, who was once a dominie in the
+island of Whalsay. He is a jovial and courteous man, and leads you on
+very astutely to ask him how long he taught there. Such a question gives
+him the opportunity of replying with a laugh: "_I was there exactly the
+length of time Napoleon was in St. Helena, five years and seven
+months_." When in Whalsay, Mr. Brown took the service on Sunday, if the
+minister happened to be ill. In this capacity he achieved great
+popularity by the meritorious device of shortening the sermon to fifteen
+minutes. He was so much in love with the first sermon he wrote, that he
+never wrote another, contenting himself with giving it again and again,
+and merely varying the text. If he could only hit upon a suitable title,
+and a suitable publisher for this sermon, Mr. Brown would get it
+printed, and scattered broadcast over the Shetland Islands. I believe it
+would furnish unique food for thought even to sinners on the mainland.
+
+Mr. Brown received me with extreme kindness, and invited me inside to
+see his school. I heard his senior class read, and thought the
+pronunciation extremely good. About 12.55 the attention of the pupils
+became visibly impaired; glances were furtively cast towards the door;
+there was a feeling of expectancy all along the benches. Suddenly the
+door sprang open, as if by some violent external impact, and a
+middle-aged dame entered, carrying in each hand a large pail of steaming
+potato-soup. Accompanying her was a young woman with dozens of small
+pewter basins, and large spoons. I never saw such expeditious ladling,
+such quick distribution, such speed of consumption, and such manifest
+enjoyment all round. The steam of the soup obscured the wall-maps, and
+the parsing exercise on the blackboard. The children could get as many
+helpings as nature would permit, _for one farthing_. When the mist
+cleared away, teacher and taught once more proceeded to tackle simple
+proportion and analysis of sentences. I personally examined the soup,
+and found it to be "nae skinking ware that jaups in luggies."
+
+
+SOME SURPRISES.
+
+Some surprises are in store for one who calls in casually at some of the
+remoter schools. I have more than once found the teacher _giving
+instruction in his shirt sleeves_. In one school, I saw the master with
+_a large melodeon_ (the Board being too stingy to supply a piano),
+giving an inharmonious accompaniment to the musical drill. I got a
+dreadful surprise on meeting the schoolmaster of a district in Jura: the
+unfortunate gentleman was _stone-deaf_, his auditory nerves being
+completely destroyed. Yet he managed, unaided, a school of forty-seven
+pupils, and got excellent reports. The case is unparalleled in my
+experience, and I should not have believed it possible had I not
+personally seen the man at his work. He heard with his eyes, and could
+most nimbly interpret what his pupils said by watching their lips. The
+scholars liked him, and did not attempt to take advantage of his defect.
+In another insular school, I was introduced to a lady-teacher who had
+_lost both her arms in youth_, and who, in consequence, has been forced
+to bring up her pupils entirely on the principles of moral suasion. By
+holding the pen with her teeth, she can write a fine running _hand_ (if
+I may say so without violence to language). She is an extremely clever
+lady: it was a treat to see how well she could control the children with
+a word or a glance.
+
+Some teachers in the Lowlands complain of children playing truant. That
+vice is not common in the Highlands, but it exists to a slight extent.
+
+In my presence the teacher of a school in Skye made the absentees of
+the previous day, write out their reasons for non-attendance. I give
+some of the typical answers:
+
+ (i.) Dear Sir,--I had to work all day at the peats.
+
+ (ii.) I was kept at home for harrowing with the horses.
+
+ (iii.) I was herding the lambs and keeping them from the sheep.
+
+ (iv.) _I was on the shore all day, but I will not do it again._
+
+
+ARRAN SCHOOLS.
+
+The Arran schools that I had the pleasure of visiting struck me as being
+very well managed. It is wonderful how much excellent work some of these
+country children get through. The schools are almost all supplied with
+Paisley libraries, and thus the pupils, under the guidance of their
+masters, can overtake an extensive course of reading in British authors.
+At Loch Ranza the higher pupils study Shakespeare, Shelley, and
+Wordsworth.[23]
+
+There is no desire whatever on the part of the young people to be taught
+the language of their forefathers. As a consequence, Gaelic is rapidly
+dying out in the island. Twenty years ago it was the language of the
+playground at Whiting Bay: now the pupils speak English only. At my
+request the teacher there addressed a few Gaelic phrases to the
+assembled children, but only two knew what he was saying. In the
+neighbourhood of Lagg, there is a more general knowledge of the
+venerable tongue.
+
+In spite of the decay of Gaelic, Arran has produced some Celtic scholars
+of great brilliancy, the most eminent being the late Dr. Cameron of
+Brodick. Mr. Kennedy of Caticol has made a great reputation for himself
+in philology: he is in touch with Celtic scholarship on the Continent
+and is also an adept in Irish Gaelic. In his manse, I saw a famous
+Celtic manuscript, the _Fernaig MS._, a brown-leaved passbook, full of
+old poems written carefully in a very small neat hand. It is said to be
+worth 2,000, but not having that amount of loose cash about me, I could
+not gratify myself by offering to purchase it.
+
+ [23] A striking object-lesson on the instability of mortal life
+ is permanently given to the Loch Ranza pupils by the proximity of
+ the churchyard, which is just over the wall from the school. The
+ thoughtful visitor should not fail to read the tombstones. If a
+ lover of books, he will be interested in learning that the
+ founder of the famous publishing firm of Messrs. Macmillan
+ belonged to the North Cock farm near Loch Ranza. The pensive
+ moralist will perhaps be most affected by an old stone, A.D.
+ 1813, declaring that Elspa Macmillan left this _inhospitable
+ world_, aged 86. _That_ was no rash inference.
+
+
+SCIENCE AND LITERATURE.
+
+Those rural teachers cannot be too strongly commended who combine
+literary studies with work in the open air. I know some masters who
+encourage their pupils to collect, say, all the flowers mentioned in
+Wordsworth and Burns. That is idealising the study of botany in a most
+delicious way. Wordsworth's descriptions of flowers are nothing less
+than divine: to take a single example out of hundreds, his lines on the
+daffodils beginning--
+
+ "I wandered lonely as a cloud."
+
+Even the gayest of our lyrists, Herrick, has something to say about that
+flower that is as powerful as a sermon. Birds, trees, and flowers
+should, as far as possible, be known by all the young people, and some
+poetic word associated with each. It is astonishing how accurately our
+best poets describe the objects of nature, and how their imaginative
+touches show insight and give a pleasure above mere science. Spenser's
+catalogue of the trees is worth knowing by heart. All the vicissitudes
+of the changing months have their apt poetical descriptions if we only
+look for them. Cowper, Thomson, and Wordsworth might be especially
+recommended to pupils for their brilliant word-painting of landscape. I
+cannot think of a finer adjunct to the teaching of open-air science than
+the auxiliary descriptions of such great masters of verse.
+
+As Mendelssohn composed _songs_ without words, so may the schoolmaster
+give _lessons_ of the most powerful import without a word being spoken.
+A beautiful interior in a schoolroom is a silent lesson in order and
+good taste. Beauty and order have a most valuable influence on the
+emotions and the character. It is a pleasure to see the attention that
+is now given to the cultivation of taste. Clean, bright class-rooms;
+pictures of artistic merit on the walls; busts; collections of fossils,
+sea-shells, and the like--these are to be found even in remote country
+schools. Such spontaneous education of the eye is something that cannot
+be overestimated for importance and fruitfulness.
+
+Lord Avebury puts the case for artistic environment very well indeed.
+"Our great danger in education," he says, "is the worship of
+book-learning--the confusion of instruction and education. We strain the
+memory instead of cultivating the mind. The children are wearied by the
+mechanical act of writing and the interminable intricacies of spelling;
+they are oppressed by columns of dates, by lists of kings and places,
+which convey no definite idea to their minds, and have no near relation
+to their daily wants and occupations. We ought to follow exactly the
+opposite course, and endeavour to cultivate their taste rather than fill
+their minds with dry facts."
+
+There is one precious faculty that runs the risk of being stifled by too
+much memory work. I mean the faculty of imagination. Youth is the time
+when fancy is busy; it is the period when the brain can furnish
+unlimited scaffolding for castles in the air. Wordsworth was so
+impressed, indeed, by the opulence of the youthful fancy, that he could
+only account for it by supposing recent contact with heaven.
+
+
+STUDY OF SCOTT.
+
+I sometimes think that in the training of the youthful intellect and
+imagination we have not made sufficient use of the novels and romances
+of Scott. Of late years a great improvement is noticeable in this
+respect, and Scott is coming to be regarded as (for school purposes) our
+greatest historian. In some schools, as Lord Avebury has hinted, it was
+formerly thought that pupils knew history adequately when they could
+rattle off a list of dates and tell something of the deeds and misdeeds
+of a set of unhappy persons who masqueraded as statesmen and courtiers.
+Such unedifying farce has nothing to do with history, which is a
+serious, instructive, and all-embracing study. The social life of the
+great mass of a nation is far more important and interesting than the
+eccentric deeds of a few high-placed rogues or saints. The old
+school-history was, unfortunately, too often a glum compendium of
+insignificant detail, told without breadth of view or fire of
+restorative imagination.
+
+In the history of Scotland, most of what is worth knowing may be most
+enjoyably learned from the pages of Sir Walter. Hardly any epoch of
+Caledonian annals, hardly any county in the land has escaped the
+treatment of his masterly hand. From the Borders to the rain-lashed
+Shetlands (the _Pirate_ deals with gusty Thule), from Perth to Morven,
+the great wizard has made his country known to all lands. In his stories
+the past faithfully reproduces itself, and we are impressed, instructed,
+and amused.
+
+
+THE OLD CLASSICAL DOMINIE.
+
+It is a pleasure to think that a few of the old school of Scotch
+dominies, who date from before the 1872 Act, are still to the fore, and
+still engaged in teaching. They have all fixity of tenure, and so enjoy
+the privilege of criticising, as adversely as they like, the degeneracy
+of modern educational developments. These "_old parochials_," as they
+are called, are men of good scholarship, well versed in Horace and
+Virgil, and generally fond of snuff and Latin quotations.
+
+The Act of 1872 did a great deal for elementary education, but very
+little indeed to encourage that type of higher instruction, which was
+the glory of the old parish school. Ian Maclaren and other writers have
+given pleasant sketches of country schoolmasters who were strong in the
+ancient tongues, and who sent their pupils straight to the benches of
+the University. I believe such men as "Domsey" were quite common in this
+country. Porteous, whom I knew, was one of these. Porteous was a
+philologist second to none in these realms, and was on intimate terms of
+acquaintanceship with the famous Veitch, who gave such a _redding up_ to
+the Greek verbs. It was very amusing to hear the complete way in which
+Porteous could silence some imperial young examining professor on the
+weighty subject of classical derivation. The latter would appeal to some
+such authority as Curtius, whereupon Porteous would unlock the desk in
+which lay the tawse, and taking therefrom a copy of the invoked Curtius,
+open it at the root in question, and display the page all marked with
+pencil corrections and emendations. In support of his views, would come
+such a torrent of erudition from half a score of Classical, Sanscrit,
+Gothic, and Anglo-Saxon rills, that the young professor would feel "like
+one of sense forlorn," and be fain to put palm to forehead in dazed
+amazement. A pupil learning the rudiments under such a teacher, was
+dazzled rather than instructed by the ruthless surgery of words that
+constantly went on. No word was too small for Porteous to operate upon:
+he settled _hoti's_ business, and could so inflate Greek vocables by
+supplying digammas and dropped consonants, that Plato would have
+disowned them. Give him chalk, a blackboard, and a class of six, and he
+would in ten minutes fill the board with hieroglyphics, curves,
+arrow-headed diagonals, etc., all meant to illustrate the relationships,
+divergencies, and contrarieties of the Aryan roots. His life was spent
+in the company of these radicals, and he could call them forth out of
+their trickiest hiding-places. In the midst of his chalky toil, he would
+turn round with radiant glee as if to say, "This is a merry and exciting
+trade: it is my fun and is as good as poaching or golf." But woe betide
+the youth who showed levity. Soon would there be weeping and wailing and
+tingling of palms. His reputation for strap-wielding made roots
+respected.
+
+Another teacher of the school of Porteous was Thomas Taylor, whose death
+I saw announced a few weeks ago. Where has all _his_ Greek lore gone to,
+so assiduously cultivated, so continuously added to? If Taylor's soul is
+ever re-incarnated in a mortal body, it is absurd to suppose that he
+must begin to learn the Greek alphabet just like a novice. His clay is
+indeed mixed with the clay of common men, but I love to think of him
+dwelling on the other side of the River in the meads of asphodel,
+discussing with kindred shades, the topics he delighted to handle when
+he was here. With tearful eye I pen these doleful decasyllabics to his
+memory:--
+
+ What chums Tom Taylor and Charles Lamb had been
+ O'er bottled porter and the _Fairy Queen_!
+ In youth, one day, seeking forbidden fruit
+ Tom tumbled from the branches with his loot,
+ And broken bones compelled the lad to go
+ On straddling crutches, warily and slow,
+ Counting the pebbles on his path below.
+ The noisy pleasures of the open air,
+ The football kicked exuberant here and there.
+ Cricket, beloved of sinewy juvenals,
+ And golf with all its hazards, clubs and balls,
+ Were not in Taylor's province: so he turned
+ To calmer pastimes where the ingle burned,
+ And when the whole world turned to _goals_ and _tees_
+ He took to _Iliads_ and to _Odysseys_.
+ He'd croon like one possessed the magic strain
+ Of heroes tossed along the unvintaged main,
+ And, crutch aloft in air, would fondly beat
+ Time to the rushing of the poet's feet.
+ Poetry was all his solace: those bright dames
+ That old Dan Chaucer in his rapture names,
+ And those in Villon's pages that appear
+ As dazzling-white as snows of yester-year,
+ Trooped past his eye in long procession fair.
+ O, Sovereign Virgin, what a crowd was there!
+ Helen, alas! with Paris by her side,
+ On the high deck crossing the sunny tide,
+ Circ, bright-moving in her godlike bloom
+ Before the throbbing music of the loom.
+ The love-lorn heroines of Shakespeare's plays,
+ The red-cheeked country girls of Burns's lays,
+ Would to his raptured eye the tear-drop bring,
+ And set his crazy quill a-sonnetting.
+
+
+VOGUE OF LATIN IN FORMER TIMES.
+
+The old-world schoolmaster believed Latin was a universal specific. He
+loved the language and knew all the flock of frisky little exceptions of
+gender and conjugation, even as a shepherd knows his sheep. He gave his
+pupils gentle doses of the _Delectus_, and watched with eager, almost
+menacing, eye, for the working of the charm. It is quite possible that
+no pupil ever went over that _Delectus_, with its world-weary fragments
+of trite morality, without a feeling of pleasure at the _Decline and
+Fall of the Roman Empire_. Yet it was educative, and moreover a boy was
+equipped for life with quotations suiting every juncture. Fate was
+powerless against one who had mastered the _Delectus_. The faculty of
+Latin quotation was to some extent also a badge of respectability.
+Fancy, too, the glory of being the exclusive possessor in a mixed
+company of the knowledge that Castor and Pollux came out of the one egg!
+It was a sore drawback to a boy once upon a time if he were shaky on the
+compounds of _fero_.
+
+"_The pest of the present day is the prevalence of examinations_:"
+these, it is alleged, have destroyed the grand old freedom of learning
+which gave full scope for the individuality alike of teacher and pupil.
+Oh! those were days of the gods, when five hours were spent daily
+burrowing in Virgil and Horace! Arcadia was realised--a sunny clime of
+Nymphs, Fauns, and Graces. The supreme luxury of abundant time--the
+leisurely chewing of sweet-phrased morsels--is gone: it is gone, that
+chastity of phrase and perfection of idiom, which felt a bad quantity
+like a wound. The examination craze has destroyed the classical dominie,
+and the intrusion of science, falsely so-called, has well-nigh
+asphyxiated the Nap of the dells. It was formerly possible for the
+teacher to develop to the full his literary taste and declaim the
+sonorous tit-bits of Virgil till the tears started from his eyes. Now
+the instructors of youth seem to regard the works of the tuneful Mantuan
+as composed for the purpose of illustrating the use of the Latin
+subjunctive. Youths cannot get at the Aeneid, the spirit and majesty of
+it, I mean, owing to the pestilential numbers of grammatical
+reminiscences recalled by almost every line. When once you begin to set
+examination papers on a subject, the romance seems to evaporate. There
+is something withering about test-questions. This modern disease of
+grammatical annotation, engendered largely by prosaic examiners, who
+have published grammars, is spreading to the English Classics, and we
+may soon expect Burns to furnish a text for exceptional scansion,
+bob-wheel metrics and general philological catechising. Items which
+glide effortless into the brain in desultory reading are not so easily
+remembered if the examination is in store. Certain gentlemen have
+recently been reading Milton with a pair of compasses in order to
+discover the exact point of the csural pause in every line: they give
+figures, strike percentages, and set questions which even the leading
+character in "Paradise Lost" couldn't answer. Literary microscopy is
+likely to ruin Shakespeare's reputation in school and would have done so
+long ago but for Lamb's _Tales_--a darling compilation and by far the
+best introduction to the poet. "_Shakespeare is a horrid man_" is the
+deliberate verdict of the schoolgirl who has been teased to death by the
+notes within the tawny covers of the Clarendon Press Edition. And fancy
+what Chaucer's Prologue must seem like, taught by a man bent only on
+philological hunts, variant readings, and a complete explanation of all
+the final e's.
+
+
+TEACHERS AND EXAMINATIONS.
+
+It has always seemed to me a matter for surprise that those who had for
+years studied the elements of Latin and Greek at school (and that with
+no small difficulty), should entirely neglect these tongues afterwards
+and read nothing composed in them. Most elaborate preparations are made
+to reach the Promised Land, but the weary passenger never gets there.
+Can it be that the preparations are too elaborate?[24] They are
+certainly not very interesting, and are, indeed, well fitted to disgust
+pupils with the classical tongues. Sir William Ramsay of Aberdeen, in a
+letter to the _Herald_ some time ago, spoke strongly on this subject.
+
+Sir William says, with justice, that a teacher should teach his subject
+without any thought of examination. Every teacher would like to do that
+if he could. As a matter of fact, the secondary schoolmaster is forced
+to become a crammer. He codifies the catch questions of previous
+university preliminaries, excogitates similar weird lists of anomalies
+and exceptions, and doses the pupils on such stuff instead of really
+teaching the important parts of his subject. Experience seems to prove
+that the most effective way of rendering a subject dry, uneducational,
+and generally useless is to set examination papers on it. What can be
+more outrageous and grotesque than the practice of setting
+out-of-the-way questions because of the ease thus afforded to the
+examiners in correcting the answers of the helpless and puzzled
+candidates! Even though the questions set were plain and
+straightforward, it would be absurd to suppose that an hour or two in an
+examination hall could furnish sufficient data to pass or fail a
+candidate.
+
+It used to be the glory of our universities that an average college
+class contained representatives of every grade of society in the land.
+Professor Ramsay says it is not so now: the professors have become
+pedagogic coaches, and the students grind rather than study. Sir William
+assures us that many who would make good students are frightened away by
+the preliminary examination. It would be interesting to know where these
+latter go when they leave school. Do they rush off to business at once,
+or do they proceed with their education in some extra-mural way? If they
+can afford the time, the university is certainly the place for them. Let
+the university gates be opened as wide as possible to all serious-minded
+youths, and let it be remembered that it is not necessarily those who
+sweat most over their books or take the highest honours that get most
+good from attendance at the lectures.
+
+It does not appear that, at present, our universities are adequately in
+touch with the nation. The great commercial community of Glasgow does
+not benefit nearly enough from having a famous seat of learning in its
+midst. We might learn a lesson from the Sorbonne how best to nationalise
+our universities. In Paris, the lecture halls are open to all, and it is
+possible for either native or foreigner to listen for hours daily, if he
+be so minded, to some of the finest and most erudite orators and
+scholars of Europe. There are, it is true, special students' courses,
+from which the general public is excluded, but the most important
+lectures are open to all. Hence the Sorbonne is a national institution
+in every sense of the word. I do not say that Glasgow does not benefit a
+little from the corps of professors at Gilmorehill. But the benefit is
+spasmodic, discontinuous, and extremely limited. Some of the professors
+do at times come down into the open and speak words of wisdom. But more
+is wanted than that if the universities are to be saved from
+denationalisation. We hear of Dugald Stewart's class-room being, in the
+old days, crowded with the keenest intellects of the Capital. But a
+university was not then a kind of higher-grade secondary school.
+
+ [24] It is a notorious fact that very few graduates, when they
+ leave college, are able to read Latin from an author they have
+ not specially studied, with ease or pleasure. For this melancholy
+ fact there are several reasons. The range of reading is miserably
+ meagre. Only a few authors are read, and almost every sentence of
+ these is cumbered with such an amount of annotation as to render
+ progress and literary appreciation alike painful. Composition in
+ Latin absorbs far too much time: the first duty of the teacher
+ ought to be to turn out pupils who can read Latin with fluency.
+ No amount of grammatical detail or laborious composition, as at
+ present practised, will ever make up for the lack of wide
+ reading. Professor Phillimore's recent suggestion that the
+ less-known authors should be read more than they are, is wise and
+ opportune. The authors he mentions would furnish a welcome relief
+ from the unspeakable dreariness of over-annotated texts.
+
+
+HOWLERS.
+
+Almost every schoolmaster I have met, either in the Highlands or
+Lowlands, has his budget of anecdotes, usually dealing with children's
+answers or the droll eccentricities of the local School Board. The
+answers of children are invariably entertaining; and I wish the
+Educational Institute of Scotland would appoint a committee to codify
+the howlers that come under the notice of its members. A collection of
+genuine howlers would be no unimportant service to the science of
+juvenile psychology. Let it be remembered that the eminent Professor
+Sully considered it in no way derogatory to his philosophical status to
+write on the subject of _dolls_. In bi-lingual districts children's
+answers would have a special value. Children are everywhere, of course,
+more or less bird-witted and inattentive. Here is a story which
+illustrates what Latin scholars call _contaminatio_. A teacher had given
+a lesson on the geography of Kent, laying special stress on Canterbury,
+as giving a title to the Anglican primate, and on Greenwich as the place
+through which, on the map, the first meridian is made to pass. At the
+close of the lesson, he wished to test the scholars, and asked one of
+them what Canterbury was famous for. At once came the glib reply:
+"Canterbury is the seat of an _archbishop through whom the first
+meridian passes_." The difficulty young pupils have in concentrating
+their ideas, is largely accountable for many of the diverting essays we
+have all heard and seen. On a recent visit to the romantic shores of
+Skye, I was shown the following essay on Water: "Water is a liquid, but
+in winter you can slide on it. In all kinds of water, little beasts
+occur to a greater or to a less extent. Even a great amount of heat
+cannot kill these curious little animals. _Hence some people prefer
+spirits._" From the same quarter I procured this nugget on patriotism.
+"Patriotism is love of country such as we see in Burns or Sir Walter
+Scott. Burns and Sir Walter wrote beautiful lines about their native
+land, and thousands of tourists came and circulated their money there.
+_It would be telling us_ if writers would imitate these great patriots
+in our day." Many of the young scribes on the mainland can also indulge
+in a deal of brilliant irrelevancy. One of them being asked to write an
+essay on "Rivers," began thus: "_In ancient times, the chief use of
+rivers was for the baptizing of converts_." Another, in the course of a
+short life of King Alfred, made a strong point of that monarch's
+humility, adding, "In order to discover the plans of the Danes, he
+demeaned himself so far as to go to their camp _disguised as a poet_."
+The annual blue book of the Scotch Education Department used to include
+a recreative series of howlers that had been sent up in the various
+reports of the Government Inspectors. These tit-bits were well
+calculated to keep up the gaiety of nations. Of late years these howlers
+have been excised, but if Scotland had Home Rule they might re-appear.
+
+The finer attenuations of speech are unknown to the soaring human boy.
+I was shown an essay on Ireland the other day in which the young writer
+compendiously remarked, "_The Irish are a bloodthirsty, lazy, and
+resentful race_." On Wordsworth, another juvenile critic thus expressed
+himself: "_Wordsworth's compositions are utter bosh_." The following
+extract is from an "Essay on the '15": "_The Rising of '15 was a failure
+because the Old Pretender was an unmitigated ass. Fancy an ass trying to
+take charge of a Rebellion!_"
+
+A genial gentleman, Mr. Sneyd-Kynnersley, who retired from the
+Inspectorate some years ago, published in 1908 a book of choice
+reminiscences, containing some good specimens of schoolboy answers. Some
+of his howlers have long been known in the North: but a howler (like
+history) is wont to repeat itself. I saw in a Paisley boy's essay on
+Lambert Simnel the following sentence: "Lambert Simnel was a claimant
+for the English crown, and went about the country boasting that he was
+one of the princes who had been murdered in the Tower." Mr. Kynnersley's
+examinee wrote thus: "Prince Charles Edward claimed to be one of the
+little princes murdered in the Tower. He was found to be a deceiver, and
+was put into the king's kitchen to work."
+
+A boy once told Mr. Kynnersley that _a quorum is a question asked at a
+meeting which the chairman is unable to answer_. I saw a definition of
+paradox, equally absurd: "_A paradox is something which is apparently
+not what it seems to be_."
+
+It is a favourite geographical test to require a pupil to describe a
+coast journey between two seaports, and mention capes, rivers, and towns
+seen on the way. "Describe a trip from Greenock to the Isle of Man,"
+said a teacher to his class; "I give you an hour to write it out." Very
+few were past Lochryan at the hour's end. One daring youth took his
+boat, which he christened "_The Comet_," right round the Mull of
+Kintyre, with intent to reach Douglas by way of Cape Wrath, the North
+Sea, Dover, Land's End, and St. George's Channel. When time was up, the
+_Comet_, all torn and tattered by the strumpet wind, was beating round
+the north end of Skye. That boy will, in all probability, turn out a
+deep-sea captain.
+
+"How many days are there in a year?" asked an inspector of a class of
+Highland youngsters. No answer was given. "Tut, tut," said the inspector
+testily, "this is ridiculous. Is there _no one_ who knows how many days
+there are in the year?" "Oh, yes, sir," said a boy reproachfully, "_God
+knows_."
+
+"What kind of king was William III.?" inquired another examiner. "He had
+an aquiline nose, sir," said a boy. "What does that mean?" said the
+examiner. "_It means_," answered the boy, "_that William III.'s nose was
+turned up at the point like the beak of an eagle!_" "What right had
+William to the English throne?" continued the examiner, changing his
+ground. "_No right under heaven_," was the forceful Jacobite rejoinder.
+
+Here is a tale, from the eastern seaboard of Scotland.
+
+_Inspector_, M.A., Ph.D., LL.D., etc. (examining a class of ten-year
+olds): "Now, boys, what is the shape of the earth?"
+
+_Boy:_ "Roon, like an orange."
+
+_Inspector:_ "But how do I _know_, how can I be _sure_ that the earth is
+round like an orange?"
+
+_Boy:_ "_Because I tell't ye._"
+
+Pupils show great affection for the phrases of their text-books. Not
+long ago, at a written examination, a lad wrote in reply to a historical
+question which was puzzling him: "_The answer to this question is known
+only to the Great Searcher of Hearts_." What could the boy mean? Was it
+"cheek," ignorance, or piety? It was none of these. _It was Collier!_
+About thirty years ago, Dr. Collier, a modern Euphuist, composed a
+_History of England_, which deserves to be reckoned among the glories of
+the reign. Carlyle may be great, but Collier is greater: Collier is a
+theologian, philosopher, and _a' that_. The style of his history is a
+wondrous blend of _Ossian_ and Hervey's _Meditations among the Tombs_;
+and its special peculiarity is that the words, owing to some feature,
+never really analysed, linger in the mind long after the sentences of
+the Shorter Catechism have become blurred. Collier is strong in
+tropes--a highly-dangerous feature. It is no doubt true, as he says,
+that William the Conqueror ruled with a rod of iron, but when a boy,
+after reading this metaphor, asserts that that sovereign ruled his
+subjects _with a long iron pole_, you begin to question the utility of
+historical study. "Joy-bells pealed and bonfires blazed," is a phrase of
+the Doctor's which sets all the caverns of the mind ringing, even though
+its historical setting is long forgotten. But unction is the chief
+feature of the history: there is a rotund finality about the author's
+spacious utterances, and a dodging of investigation by means of pious
+generalisations. The book has all the effect of a benediction. When it
+is really too tiresome to inquire into all the authorities on some
+affair of magnitude, it is so respectable to sum up in the phrase
+imitated by the youth alluded to above.
+
+It is in the Secondary Schools of the country that the confusion of
+thought is apt to be most painfully seen. Far too much is attempted, and
+the pupils are overworked. A teacher in the neighbourhood of Glasgow, a
+_laudator temporis acti_, has a manuscript collection of howlers, drawn
+from elementary, secondary, and university sources, with the following
+fearful lines as a preface:--
+
+ "Ye statesmen all, of high or humble station,
+ Collective conscience of the British nation,
+ Whether the frothing vat has made your name
+ Or tropes in carpet-bags begot your fame,
+ Behold the _product_ of the education
+ Wherewith is dosed the rising generation.
+ And see the modern devotee of cram
+ At midnight hour hard-grinding for the exam.,
+ A moistened towel garlanding his brow,
+ And coffee simmering on the hob below.
+ High on a three-legged stool uncushioned, he
+ Sits glowering through his goggles painfully,
+ Nagging his brain with all a grinder's might
+ Till _one_ sounds on the drowsy ear of night.
+ Like Sibyl's leaves the papers strew his floor
+ Wrought-out examples, 'wrinkles' by the score,
+ Conundrums algebraic, 'tips' on Conics
+ And thorny 'props' remembered by mnemonics.
+ Betweenwhiles as the slow time lagging goes,
+ He takes the spectacles from off his nose,
+ Removes the damper from his aching head,
+ Pours out the coffee, cuts a slice of bread,
+ Sips wistfully the liquid from his cup:
+ The zeal to pass the exam. has eaten _him_ up.
+ Thrice happy ye! born 'neath the ancient reign
+ When _Tityre tu_ alone possessed the brain
+ (Ere Tyndall's tubes made sweating students numb)
+ And the whole aim of life was _di, do, dum_."
+
+
+COMPETING SUBJECTS.
+
+So numerous indeed are the subjects of the school curriculum in our day
+that howlers and confusion are bound to result. Formerly there was but
+one scheme (containing classics, mathematics, and a little English), and
+everybody took it. Now there is a kind of competition among the
+departments of a school as to which is the most culturing. When a fond
+mother asks the opinion of the masters as to what course of study her
+boy (whom she is entitled to think a genius of the first order) ought to
+pursue, she is often puzzled by the variety of answers. Mr. Test-tube,
+the Science Master, invariably prescribes an extensive course of
+chemistry. If a boy is to be a lawyer, he ought to know the principles
+of atomic combination and the doctrine of gases; if he thinks of the
+ministry, why then, having a thorough acquaintance with science, he will
+be competent to close the mouths of heretics, infidels, and such vermin.
+Dr. Aorist, on the other hand, believes that a sound knowledge of "_qui_
+with the subjunctive" is a splendid sheet-anchor for every squall in
+life's rude sea. "I wish my boy to be a civil engineer; what advice
+would you give me as to his studies?" "I have no hesitation in
+affirming," the Doctor replies, "that the boy will build bridges all
+the better if he has his mind expanded and (so to speak) broadened by
+the study of subjects outside his special trade, such, _e.g._, as the
+interesting fact that in ancient times 'All Gaul was divided into three
+parts.'"
+
+The average boy has an impartial mind. As a rule, he has no prejudice in
+favour of either science or letters, his maxim being never to do to-day
+what he can put off till to-morrow.
+
+ His favourite books for home
+ Are buccaneering combats on the foam,
+ Or grim detective tales of Scotland Yard,
+ Where gleams the bull's-eye lamp and drips the poniard.
+
+Parents may be reminded that the wide spaces of the colonies remain to
+be peopled and that many a _stickit minister_ might have made a
+first-class empire-builder.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+A TRIP TO SHETLAND.
+
+ Aberdeen--En route--Lerwick--Past and present saints--Some notes
+ on the islands--A Shetland poet--A visit to Bressay--From
+ Lerwick to Sandwick--Quarff--"That holy man,
+ Noah"--Fladibister--Cunningsburgh--"Keeping off"--The indignant
+ elder--Torquil Halcrow--Philology--A Sandwick gentleman--Local
+ tales--Foulah and Fair Isle--The fishing season.
+
+
+ABERDEEN.
+
+The most expeditious and comfortable way of getting to Shetland is by
+way of Aberdeen.
+
+I have passed through the city of _Bon Accord_ about six times during
+the last twelvemonth, and like it better the more I see of it. It is one
+of the stateliest towns in Britain, and its main street, spacious, airy,
+and symmetrical, is hard to match. The architectural taste of the new
+University Buildings is perfect, and will be more striking still to the
+casual visitor, when the unsightly buildings all round have been torn
+down. It would be worth while going to Aberdeen if for nothing but to
+see the superb stretch of sandy beach between the mouths of the Don and
+the Dee: one could sit and dream away a whole forenoon there and be
+entirely oblivious to the proximity of a large town.
+
+The finest tribute paid to Aberdeen was written nearly four hundred
+years ago by the great Scotch poet, William Dunbar. Three years before
+Flodden, Queen Margaret passed through the town, and Dunbar, who
+accompanied her, was so delighted with the hospitality, loyalty, and
+lavish expenditure of the magistrates, that he wrote a eulogistic poem
+to commemorate the occasion. Dunbar carried away the impression that
+Aberdeen was a _blythe_ place:
+
+ "_Blythe_ Aberdeen thou beryl of all tounis,
+ Thou lamp of beauty, bounty and _blitheness_."
+
+I do not find that the town has produced many poets, but it has been the
+cause of poetry in others.[25] A few years ago Mr. William Watson, out
+of gratitude for the LL.D. bestowed on him by the University, wrote a
+pleasant sonnet in which Aberdeen is represented as
+
+ "Beaming benignant o'er the northern main."
+
+As I sat on the seashore, repeating to myself the lines of Mr. Watson's
+poem, and breathing the fresh air, which an official of the bath-house
+told me was _made in Germany_ (meaning thereby that the wind was blowing
+from the east), the thought struck me that it would be a pardonable
+pastime to employ the spare time I had before the boat started for
+Lerwick, in writing a _Sonnet to Mr. William Watson_. In such
+exercitations it is necessary to employ the second person singular:
+
+ Watson! I would thy pen were fluenter,
+ And yet, perchance, thou usest stores of ink,
+ Ampler than any of thy readers think,
+ In blotting that wherein the first quick stir
+ Of thought and genius made the language err.
+ If Heaven had lent thy polished Muse a blink
+ Of saving humour for her crambo-clink,
+ Then never-dying fame had fallen to her.
+ Yet Heaven be thanked for what it has bestowed
+ On thee of what is tunefullest and best:
+ The trim epistle, the heart-stirring ode,
+ The witching freshness of a _Prince's Quest_,
+ The soft romance that dreams of years gone by,
+ Bright noons and dewy glades of Arcady.
+
+ [25] A recent publication shows that Greek verse is well written
+ at the University. Paisley folk should know that an Aberdonian
+ Hellenist has put some of Tannahill's verses into Greek.
+
+
+EN ROUTE.
+
+The little steamer that plies between Aberdeen and Lerwick is timed to
+leave the former port at 11.30 a.m., _or as soon afterwards as the tide
+will permit_. Often the boat does not leave for some hours after 11.30
+a.m., the tide not being always to blame. What a capacity the boat has
+for empty barrels! I counted six heaped lorry-loads of them that were
+rolled on board, destined, later on, to be filled with herring up north
+among the islands.
+
+It is extremely interesting (see Virgil III., 690) to stand in calm
+weather on the deck of a moving vessel and talk about the notable places
+on the coast with one who knows them well. Much information of a varied
+and piquant kind may thus be acquired. The Aberdeenshire coast is rather
+unpicturesque, but many historical legends linger airily on the stern
+old ruins that are passed from time to time. I omit mention of these,
+preferring to tell an anecdote of recent years that is associated with
+the immense rocky sea-caverns, of world-wide fame, not far from Cruden
+Bay. During the Boer War, some Scotch journalists, strong in the science
+of genealogy, undertook to prove that all the generals at the front had
+Scotch blood in their veins. It seems that these patriotic penmen
+succeeded quite easily in making their contention good with respect to
+all the generals _save one_. No Scotch lineage could be found for
+General Buller. The difficulty was at last surmounted by the felicitous
+conjecture that he was one of the famous _Bullers of Buchan_!
+
+About eight miles past Cruden Bay is Peterhead, the most easterly town
+in Britain. Great efforts are being made at present to boom this place
+as a health resort. I have heard it said that "printers who die at 30 of
+consumption elsewhere, weigh 21 stone at over threescore in Peterhead,"
+also that "centenarians there have been known to get up at 5.30 a.m., to
+chop wood, no chill or bacillus daring to make them afraid." The Home
+Office has long thought highly of Peterhead as a place of permanent
+retreat for those afflicted with ethical infirmities.
+
+After Peterhead is left behind, the steamer soon gets entirely away from
+land. All night long she battles through the surges, passes about 2 a.m.
+the lonely Fair Isle, encompassed by the rushing roost, and two hours
+later Sumburgh Head is visible. The approach to Bressay, especially if
+the rocks and precipices are half seen through driving haze, is
+suggestive, to a student, of the landscape of "Beowulf," with its _windy
+walls_, _shadow-helms_, _broad nesses_, and _glimmering sea-cliffs_.
+
+As seen from the sea, Lerwick looks trim and picturesque, but when the
+visitor lands, he is apt to lose his bearings among its tortuous lanes.
+I followed a porter who was tottering under the weight of trunks, and
+asked him, as we treaded a flag-paved vennel: "Is it far to the main
+street?" He grimly replied: "This _is_ the main street, sir." The
+response unnerved me, shaky as I was with seventeen hours' tossing on
+the North Sea. Once in the hotel, my spirits rose. A most welcome and
+savoury breakfast--consumed near an open window commanding a view over a
+sun-lit sound--is well able to hearten the most downcast.
+
+
+LERWICK.
+
+The town of Lerwick is indeed one of the finest of our island capitals,
+and is constantly becoming finer. No visitor can fail to be impressed by
+its unique natural harbour, gloriously screened by the God-given shelter
+of the island of Bressay. Commercial Street, which runs along the
+water's edge, is at the foot of a hill, and is so narrow in parts that
+two vehicles can hardly get past each other. If I stayed in Lerwick, I
+should not like to have any resident enemies, for it would be difficult
+to keep from brushing clothes with them in the main street. Up from this
+main street to the newer town, on a plateau at the top, run numerous
+quaint wynds, sinuous, and not always well-scavenged. This new and
+well-built part contains the far-seen and notable Town Hall, the
+architecture of which would have pleased Ruskin, especially as its fine
+windows are all appositely illustrative of Shetlandic annals. By
+climbing the dusty clock-tower, one has a splendid view of all
+surrounding slopes and seas.
+
+Here is a hint to prospective tourists. Take to the left when you quit
+the hall, get down the lane leading to the sea-crags, and walk for two
+miles in the direction of the rifle-range. It is a glorious and solitary
+walk--not altogether solitary, for the sea is invariably good company.
+Don't be so foolish as to keep on your hat: off with it, and let the
+air-borne sea-spume wet your brow. It is also a good thing to recite
+Byron's vigorous "Address to the Ocean,"--the odd cows you may pass will
+not stop their grazing for that. There is no finer air in King Edward's
+dominions than that which blows in this region, for the hill air meets
+the sea air that has come all the way from Norway, and the two coalesce
+to give the rapt pedestrian a mouthful of exhilarating ether. One who is
+really a poet and not merely a casual sonneteer, should try to get a
+site for his tent on this particular shore, and retire to compose an
+epoch-making epic. The medival saints knew what they were doing when
+they retired to little nooks and isles along this coast to pray and
+meditate undisturbed: it is much easier to feel devout in a fresh
+atmosphere, than in the squalor of a town.
+
+
+PAST AND PRESENT SAINTS.
+
+What indeed astonishes the visitor to these northern isles is the
+immense number of ecclesiastical ruins. The Christian missionaries seem
+speedily to have translated their enthusiasm into stone and lime. What
+hymns were chanted and what sermons preached up there in bygone times,
+passes the wit of man to reckon! It is a far cry from Palestine to the
+Shetland creeks and voes, but the voice of the lowly Nazarene
+effectually reached the Celts and Norsemen of these treeless
+storm-lashed isles.
+
+Many of the smaller islands have the appellation _papa_, which
+indicates, as I hinted above, that some monk or hermit, withdrawing from
+the world to pray and meditate, has bequeathed a whiff of sanctity to
+headland and skerry.
+
+"The hermit good lives in the wood," says Coleridge, but for the
+Shetland _papa_ there was no _nemorum murmur_:--
+
+ No sun-illumined leafage met his eye
+ Raised from perusal of the Holy Word,
+ No murmur of the woodland zephyr-stirred
+ Blended with his devotions sped on high,
+ Only the chiding of the billows nigh.
+ The clangour of the wheeling ocean-bird,
+ Or soul-astounding shriek of storm-fiend heard
+ From the dun cloud-battalions hurrying by,
+ Greeted his ear: yet piously through all
+ His life the austere anchorite remained,
+ On his lone island, buffeted by squall
+ And sea, and faithful unto death obtained
+ The promised guerdon that the Lord bestows
+ Upon the pure in heart, and only those.
+
+It has been asserted by those who have means of knowing, that the days
+of theological rigidity are past and gone in the Shetlands. Thing
+unheard of in the Hebrides--the shops are open on Sunday mornings for
+the sale of Saturday's _Scotsman_ and _Herald_. In some parts of
+Scotland you could not hire a trap for a Sunday drive; in others, you
+_might_ manage, by salving the driver's conscience with a double fare.
+In Shetland the tariff is the same for the first and the last days of
+the week. To explain the ecclesiastical differences between the islands
+of the North and the West would require a philosopher with all Buckle's
+shrewdness and ingenuity. Buckle accounted for the sombre nature of
+Scotch theology by dwelling on the awe-inspiring reverberations of
+thunder among the Highland peaks. The easy-going creed of the Shetlands
+might perhaps be accounted for by a reference to the happy-go-lucky way
+in which the sea wanders at will among the confusion of peninsulas,
+islets, and skerries. Any theory is better than none at all, and
+geopsychical explanations are fashionable at present.
+
+The pulpit stars twinkle with great lustre in these boreal regions. A
+country minister, with no preparatory groans, but sharp and trippingly
+thus began his homily some Sundays ago: "It is now thirty-five years
+since the Lord sent me to labour in this part of his vineyard, if
+vineyard I may call it, where no grape was ever seen. On a bright summer
+morning thirty-five years ago, I turned the corner of the road and came
+among you. Young women, your mothers were in the fields, busy with the
+work of the crofts. Your mothers were exceedingly fair to look upon, and
+I am happy to say, my dear young sisters, that, by the providence of
+God, the beauty of your mothers has lost nothing by being transmitted to
+your comely selves. And now for my text, which you will find in Ezekiel,
+chapter _x_ and verse _y_."
+
+
+SOME NOTES ON THE ISLANDS.
+
+A century ago Shetland was almost an unknown land to the Lowlanders of
+Scotland. When a Shetland minister was deputed to attend the General
+Assembly, it might take him a year to get there and back. His journey
+was a very circuitous one: he had to go in a trading vessel to Hamburg,
+take boat from Hamburg to London, and from London proceed to Leith. To
+return from Edinburgh, the journey was performed the reverse way. Now
+that there is a regular service between Aberdeen and Lerwick, and
+between Leith and several of the Shetland ports, the journey can be
+performed with comfort and expedition. Tourists flock North in the
+summer season to admire the scenery, catch the trout, and inhale the
+health-giving breezes.
+
+The natives, being mainly of Norse descent, look with a kindly eye over
+the water in the direction of Bergen. They do not love Scotland, and
+they have their reasons. When the Shetlands were handed over to the
+Scotch kings, numbers of needy adventurers, armed with cheaply-got
+charters, swooped down on the islands and dispossessed the native
+proprietors. This has neither been forgotten nor forgiven. Mr. Russell,
+who lived for three years among them, says:--"They believe that the
+present lairds are interlopers, and that they themselves have been
+defrauded and despoiled. They speak of these things only among
+themselves, and not openly; but those who have been in the country, and
+have gained their confidence, know that there is a strong undercurrent
+of feeling against Scotland and Scotsmen.... They conceive that they
+have a claim even as things are, to dwell on the land, and that a
+proprietor has no right to remove them from his estate." I was
+dreadfully shocked to notice that in a volume of tales published by a
+Lerwick author only four years ago, the leading villain was from the
+mainland. "Scotland is nothing to us," said a Shetlander to an inspector
+of schools. "What has Scotland ever done for us except send us _greedy
+ministers and dear meal_?"
+
+In the old days, when communication with the mainland was uncertain and
+fitful, the luxuries of civilised life were quite unknown. In one
+outlying district a box of oranges was washed ashore from a wreck: these
+the natives boiled, under the impression that the orange was a novel
+kind of potato. A cask of treacle, come by in a similar way, was used
+like tar to daub the bottom of a smack. By and by a cow was seen to lick
+the boat with evident relish, and this opened the eyes of the natives to
+the real nature of the substance. Nowadays the natives are well in line
+with modern civilisation, one of the most convincing proofs being that
+they buy drugs and patent medicines of every kind. One has only to scan
+the advertisement pages of the Shetland newspapers to note the
+persistent way in which quacks of all shades bring their nostrums before
+the notice of the islanders. Dyspepsia and rheumatism are the commonest
+ailments; and to combat these, myriads of pills and numberless elixirs
+are annually swallowed. Faith does a lot even when the drugs of a
+legitimate practitioner are concerned: the fact that you have swallowed
+something with a bitter taste is often a distinct aid to recovery. Mr.
+Russell, whom I referred to above, says: "To my surprise, I learned that
+some who were in extreme poverty, and had hardly enough food to eat,
+were in the habit of sending South for pills and patent medicines."
+
+
+A SHETLAND POET.
+
+Long before I ever thought of visiting Shetland, I was acquainted with
+the dialect spoken there, through having studied a most interesting
+little book of poems called _Rasmie's Bdie_, published in Paisley. The
+author of this book is Mr. Haldane Burgess, a very prolific and able
+writer, but unfortunately afflicted with blindness. During my short stay
+in Lerwick, I gave myself the pleasure of calling upon him, and I was
+intensely delighted with my reception. When the sense of sight is lost,
+that of touch becomes inordinately keen: Mr. Burgess has accordingly
+excellent control over his type-writer, and can compose as nimbly as in
+the days when his eyesight was unimpaired. He spoke of his most recent
+novel, _The Treasure of Don Andreas_, and expressed himself as highly
+pleased at the criticism passed upon it by a reviewer in the _Athenum_.
+Mr. Burgess begins composition every morning at seven, and regulates his
+life with military precision. On all departments of Shetlandic history,
+folk-lore, and dialect, he discourses with great knowledge, fluency, and
+animation. But his interests in the general field of modern literature
+are extremely wide. He speaks the Norse language almost as easily as
+English, has studied Icelandic, and knows a good deal about the writers
+of modern France. Some friend had been reading Arnold's _Literature and
+Dogma_ to him shortly before my visit. He was loud in praise of that
+book, the ironical insolence and pawky humour of which he had greatly
+enjoyed.
+
+On parting from Mr. Burgess, I received from him a copy of his pleasant
+Shetlandic story _Tang_, a careful and illuminating study of island life
+and manners. The English style struck me as full, robust, and strongly
+tinged with poetical figures, and the character sketches drawn with the
+precision of intimate knowledge. All his prose works display great
+wealth of material, and much psychological insight. His most
+characteristic production, however, is his little book of poems
+mentioned above, _Rasmie's Bdie_. Rasmie is a Shetland crofter who is
+typical of the race: shrewd, kindly, thoughtful, and gifted with a touch
+of quaint sarcasm. He has perfectly clear views of life, this old
+peasant, and is quite free from cant, or superstition, or mystery. Some
+of his metaphors are droll: after long pondering on the scheme of
+creation, he comes to the conclusion that earth is the field, heaven the
+house, and hell the "midden." Pope, speaking of _Paradise Lost_,
+complains that--
+
+ "In quibbles angels and archangels join,
+ And God the Father turns a school-divine."
+
+What would the great Augustan have thought of verse in which God the
+Father is likened to a cosmic Crofter?
+
+ "Dis Universe is Gd's grit croft,
+ It's His by richt, wis never koft
+ Frae gritter laird
+ And ne'er sall be, laek laand o Toft
+ Wi' idder shared."
+
+For those who have the patience to pierce through the husk of Rasmie's
+dialect, much amusement and delight is in store.
+
+
+A VISIT TO BRESSAY.
+
+If Charles Lamb and Herbert Spencer had been sent to Lerwick and Bressay
+to write a report on what they saw, I daresay the difference of their
+accounts would have astonished every reader. Lamb would probably have
+swilled porter in the _Ultima Thule_ Refreshment Bar and written a most
+interesting account of Bressay without ever crossing the Sound. The ribs
+of a big uncouth Dutch boat, square, cumbrous, shell-fretted, and tilted
+up on the beach, would probably have bulked more in Lamb's narrative
+than the modern steam-trawlers that abound in these waters. His
+politico-economical reflections on the rise in price of peppermint
+lozenges, consequent on the annual arrival of the Dutch fishing crews
+would, I am sure, have furnished excellent reading. Spencer's report
+would have dealt, I fancy, with the rotation of crops, the cause of the
+different currents, the varieties of pigmentation (with percentages)
+among the islanders, and the evolution of fishing gear from its
+rudimentary forms--in sum with the definite combination of heterogeneous
+changes both simultaneous and successive, in correspondence with
+external coexistences and sequences. No two out of a hundred visitors
+see the same things, a fact which may help to prove Bishop Berkeley's
+theory that the universe is subjective entirely.
+
+I went over to Bressay with a genial and erudite clergyman to visit the
+schoolhouse and inspect the ruins of an eighth century church. Three
+Shetland women rowed us over the Sound and handled the oars splendidly.
+The minister, a plump, jolly be-spectacled gentleman, who has not
+"perpetrated matrimony," declared with a sigh that he was an unprotected
+male, and on our arrival at the Bressay beach, he called aloud to the
+oarswomen to lift him out of the boat. These muscular dames shrieked
+with laughter and proceeded to unship their oars as if to buffet him:
+he, thereupon, leaped lightly enough on the strand and, turning round,
+would have improved the occasion by a word in season had not the
+tittering Nereids begun to splash him as he stood on the shingle.
+
+Innumerable sheep pasture on the Bressay slopes, and on the sky-line of
+some of the hills one can discern companies of rollicking Shetland
+ponies. My friend, the minister, who is writing a book on Darwin, got
+into conversation with Mr. Manson, the Bressay pony-breeder. The latter
+spoke thus about his tiny steeds: "Pony-breeding is a more puzzling
+business than anything else in God's universe. The parents,
+grandparents, and great grandparents of a given pony have all been
+perfect in every point. Good! You naturally expect that a pony with such
+exceptionable ancestry will itself be without a flaw. But is it? No,
+often it is not. Too frequently you get bitter water from sweet, and
+thistles instead of grapes. Just look at that tricky, mischievous,
+ill-tempered, wall-eyed little rascal. Where did he get his evil
+cantrips and his wall-eye? I have known his ancestors for four
+generations back and they were all without a blemish." The minister made
+a note of this fact within the book and volume of his brain: it may be
+useful in the pulpit, and I expect to see it in print when he publishes
+his book on Darwin.
+
+The eighth century church was at last reached. It is about three miles
+from the landing-place and quite near the water. Every point was most
+lucidly explained by my ecclesiastical guide. To the outer eye the place
+consisted of some low, ruined walls enclosing various species of rank,
+wet grass. Such remains of olden piety are provocative of gloomy
+reverie, which the rushing of the inconstant tide close by only serves
+to deepen. Immediately after the Crucifixion and long before this church
+was reared by saintly hands, the little Christian communities thought
+the kingdom of God would shortly be established and all sin and
+suffering be banished from the world. But the apostles died, and so
+successively have
+
+ "Priest, doctor, hermit, monk grown white
+ With prayer, the broken-hearted nun,
+ The martyr, the wan acolyte,
+ The incense-swinging child"--
+
+the bishop, the church-builder, and the patriot in all those
+generations, and the kingdom of God is not with us yet, seems, indeed,
+to be as far off as ever. When the world has been at peace for a while
+and the millennium seems imminent, all of a sudden a perverse,
+stiff-necked, _wall-eyed_ generation supervenes, and evolution gives way
+to deterioration!
+
+Lightly bounding down the ages, my companion turned my thoughts from
+unrealised dreams of religion to those of politics. Along these waters
+that cast their spray on the ancient ruin, James Hepburn, Earl of
+Bothwell, third husband of Queen Mary, fled in hot haste, with a
+pursuing squadron at his heels, in the year 1567. Kirkaldy of Grange
+entered the Sound of Bressay as Bothwell was leaving by the northern
+exit.
+
+Our walk lasted about four hours, and ended up in the school-house,
+where the teacher's hospitable dame regaled us to a welcome and
+excellent cup of tea. It did us good after the strain of so many
+reminiscences. The teacher is a hearty and sociable gentleman, who loves
+his books and his fireside. On the fine Saturdays, friends ferry across
+from Lerwick for a round of golf with him over the Bressay links. The
+fine library, recently sent from Paisley, furnishes a pleasant variety
+of reading both for himself and his pupils. On my remarking that, as
+chairman at the lecture next evening, he need not speak more than thirty
+minutes, he replied, with visible emotion, that he would concentrate his
+remarks into a space of thirty seconds.
+
+We got back to Lerwick in a lugsail that was full of passengers,
+potatoes, and milk-cans. There was a good deal of loud, elementary chaff
+during the twenty minutes' crossing. An old, wrinked, peat-smoked dame
+gave us much good advice and (better still) a sprig of white heather
+apiece. I found by subsequent experience that the trip is not always so
+amusing. Next evening a boatman pulled us over, and it was stiff work
+for him, as the Sound was lumpy and the wind contrary. Coming back, he
+hoisted his sail, and we careered over in rollicking style. I was a
+little scared at the swift-rushing currents and the switchback motion of
+the boat. Overhead were moon, stars, and flying clouds; the hulls of big
+steamers loomed like phantoms on the surface of the Sound; on the hill
+opposite twinkled the ever-nearing light of Lerwick.
+
+Bressay, I may add, has a nice little hall, with all items of modern
+convenience, including ventilation. The building is used for every
+legitimate purpose, from worship to _weel-timed daffin'_.
+
+
+FROM LERWICK TO SANDWICK.
+
+I have a vivid recollection of a day's drive from Lerwick to Sandwick,
+down the long, narrow peninsula that terminates in Sumburgh head. I was
+accompanied by the reverend gentleman already alluded to in connection
+with Bressay.
+
+It is a common saying in the isles that Shakespeare had his eye on the
+soil of Shetland when he pronounced the famous line:
+
+ "'Tis true, 'tis _peaty_, 'tis _peaty_ 'tis, 'tis true."
+
+On all sides in the country you see acre after acre of bog, dripping
+with moisture and exuding black runnels whenever the spade of the
+peat-cutter begins to slice its fibrous bulk. Should a wayfarer leave
+the road by mishap after nightfall, he would soon be plunging in the
+treacherous morasses. It is well for him to have a lantern swinging at
+his girdle when the sun has gone down.
+
+Such are the reflections suggested by a view of the country between
+Lerwick and the little clachan of Quarff.
+
+
+QUARFF.
+
+Quarff is the headquarters of a minister who is said to be the only
+extempore preacher in Shetland, if the word can be appropriately applied
+to one who, being blind, has to prepare his sermons in "the quick forge
+and working-house of thought" without the succour of books. This
+gentleman spent long years in the little islets called _Skerries_, and,
+like a miniature Augustine or Columba, claims to have been the first to
+preach the sublime truths of Christianity on these limestone formations.
+
+Though blind, he enjoys his pipe, and I had a smoke with him at the
+fireside. Between the puffs, he indulged in a furious onslaught on the
+Lord Chancellor and the Wee Frees. Lord Halsbury he considered a poor,
+benighted creature, who didn't know the difference between a Trades
+Union and a body of Christians. "_If he ever comes to Shetland_," said
+the minister, "_he had better bring his woolsack with him, for I won't
+let him down soft!_" After Lord Halsbury had been adequately trounced,
+the talk turned on notable things that had happened in the district
+within the last decade or two. One of the tales (which was very
+divertingly told) had to do with the trite subject of intemperance, but
+as it contains one or two novel touches, I here briefly rehearse it.
+
+An elder of the place, who, with his trap, had come to grief one market
+night on the way back from Lerwick, told his session a strange tale to
+account for the catastrophe. "When I got to Lerwick in the forenoon, I
+said to the driver: 'Young man, if I mistake not, you have had no tip
+from me for a long time.' 'That's very true, sir,' said he. 'Well,' said
+I, 'there's half-a-crown; go and spend it judiciously.' During the day I
+transacted business with various friends, omitting none of the usual
+rites. About five o'clock my driver returned, and harnessed the horse
+for the return journey. At first I thought he had brought his brother
+with him, but, on rubbing my eyes, I found it was an optical delusion.
+As I watched him narrowly, I saw the outlines of a bottle bulging out
+from his buttoned coat, and distinctly heard, as he moved to and fro,
+the gurgling sound of liquid in agitation. He was smiling in
+self-approval, and when I reproved him for his slowness, he quoted
+Habakkuk v. 5, 'Hurry no man's cattle,' adding that his authority was
+the Revised Version. As we went rattling along the road, his tricks
+were fantastic in the extreme. At a point about two miles from Lerwick,
+I saw, a little in front of us, a tall individual enveloped in a long
+waterproof, of which the collar was turned up to cover his ears. The
+eyes of this person glowed like live coal as he peremptorily demanded a
+lift. Not waiting for permission, he, with a sudden spring, vaulted on
+the trap and squeezed himself between the driver and myself. The air
+grew hot and close. The driver became ten times friskier than before. I
+determined to unmask the unceremonious stranger, and, putting down my
+hand, grasped him by the foot. He had no boots on, and what I seized was
+a cloven hoof. I asked him there and then if he was Beelzebub. 'I am,'
+said he, 'and clever and all as you are, it will take all your talents
+to slip out of my clutches this night.' At this point there is a blank
+in my souvenirs. I only remember sparks flying and the sensation of
+falling down from my seat on to a steep embankment. On recovering
+consciousness, I found myself lying on a crofter's bed, with aching
+limbs. I told him the story of my escape, and he said, after hearing it:
+'We live in troublous times, John, and the Arch-deceiver seems to be off
+the chain. Watch and pray, or you may fall further next time.'"
+
+
+"THAT HOLY MAN, NOAH."
+
+Particular stories are suggested by the place where one first heard
+them. This profound remark is worked out in detail by Sir William
+Hamilton and Professor Sully. As I look at the map of the road I
+traversed that day, I am reminded of certain anecdotes retailed by my
+genial and reverend guide.
+
+"After leaving college," said he, "I was appointed assistant to a worthy
+D.D. who regarded the higher critics as a species of vermin. Hell with
+him was not a mere unpleasant state passed in _this_ world, but an
+actual raging bonfire specially prepared for everyone who could not
+repeat the Shorter Catechism. The parishioners of this worthy man were,
+in consequence, devoutly orthodox, and had, one and all, a keen nose for
+bad doctrine. They did not like to be fobbed off with a sermon of the
+spineless order; they liked bones, blood, and fire--not a mosaic of
+cheery quotations from Tennyson about the larger hope and about worms
+not being cloven in vain. They had also a great liking for the
+patriarchs, especially Noah. By ill luck, I spoke one Sunday on the
+patriarchs, and handled them pretty roughly. I felt that sacred
+enthusiasm which every man feels in denouncing the sins of others. I
+gave the Captain of the Ark a special lick of tar. This sermon caused a
+mighty commotion in the district. I might as well have asserted that the
+paraphrases were inspired, or that Sankey's hymns were canonical. I
+could see that the elders began to look coldly upon me. In barn and byre
+little groups discussed my preaching, and there was much wagging of the
+head and shooting out of the lip. A deputation came out of a
+potato-field to me one day as I was walking along the road, and the
+leader, an old theological crofter, said bluntly: 'Your sermons are not
+pleasing us, if you please, sir.' 'Is the doctrine bad?' I asked. 'Not
+exactly that, but the folk say it's very unseemly.' 'What special sermon
+do they object to?' 'They think you're not sound on that holy man,
+Noah.' 'Do they go the length of saying Noah was perfect?' 'They don't
+just go that length; but, while admitting Noah was human, they desire'
+(here the old man raised his head, shut his eyes, and shouted) 'to hear
+no more from a young inexperienced lad like you, a single word about the
+patriarch's shortcomings. The man was a patriarch, and therefore a
+saint. Talk about his virtues as much as you like, but don't fash about
+his trespasses, there's a good boy, I speak as your friend.'"
+
+
+FLADIBISTER.
+
+When my friend had delivered himself of this story, he pointed with his
+pipe to a little confused collection of low, thatched cottages which we
+were rapidly approaching on the left, and, oblivious of Noah, went thus
+musing on: "You are now in the charmed domain of Fladibisteria, of which
+the core or citadel, as it were, is this village of Fladibister. This is
+no settlement of Norsemen: no, this is a Celtic nook where second sight
+and such witchcraft flourished not so many years ago. Did not the
+minister once rebuke them for their spells and mystic whims by aptly
+applying to them the words of St. Paul to the Galatians: '_Oh, foolish
+Fladibisterians, who hath bewitched you?_' There is an atmosphere of
+tranquillity and Arcadian peace swimming over Fladibister such as is
+nowhere else to be found in Shetland. The young men of the place roam
+far over the sea, as mariners and fishers; but like the exiled
+Jacobite--
+
+ 'Who sighed at Arno for his lovelier Tees,'
+
+they never feel happy till they are back home here under the roofs of
+thatch. And what a work their women folks make with them when they
+return! What feasting and merrymaking! What screwing of fiddle-pegs,
+nimble motion of elbows and long-sustained dancing and skipping. I don't
+deny that there is clink of glasses, too, at times, to aid the passage
+of the hours far past the noon of night."
+
+
+CUNNINGSBURGH.
+
+Cunningsburgh, the journey to which was shortened by these tales, is one
+of those places you might pass through without being aware of it; that
+is to say, there is no feature about it so startling or abrupt as to
+impress itself at once on the attention. The district all round is well
+tilled, and the houses bien and comfortable.
+
+The minister of the place arrests the attention instantly. His genial
+face and hearty handshake have a more Christianising effect on the soul
+than a ton of sermons. I have never heard a more kindly voice or seen a
+face in which tenderness, merriment, and intellectual keenness, were all
+so harmoniously blended. He does not smoke himself, but has that wise
+and wide perception of things which leads him to press those who are
+anxious to smoke, but say they are not, to take out their pipes in his
+drawing-room. It was easy to see the man he was, by a hasty look at his
+book-shelves. All the philosophers were represented there, from Plato
+to the present-day mystical Germans. Lang's _Odyssey_ was side by side
+with the Icelandic sagas and the Song of the Niebelungs. I did not see
+many books of Systematic Theology; but the Greek tragedians, the Sacred
+Books of the East, German and French novels, had all a place in the
+bookcase of this cosmopolitan clergyman of a remote Shetlandic parish.
+
+
+"KEEPING OFF."
+
+In secluded townships like Cunningsburgh where life's round has much of
+the monotony of fashionable society, and involves a still recurring
+succession of similar duties, the minister is indeed a power. If he is a
+man of broad and enlightened mind, his influence for good is
+incalculable. The Kirk-Session is a permanent Court of Justice, taking
+cognisance of minor matters of morality, and enforcing its decisions by
+religious sanctions. To be barred from participating in the communion
+rites might not seem a very alarming punishment to the easy-going
+Lowlander; but to a Shetland peasant, being _keepit off_, as it is
+technically called, is a terrible and humiliating penalty. A crofter
+came to the manse to complain about his wife's unruly and satirical
+tongue. "But what can I do to her?" said the minister, "she's your wife,
+and you must assert your authority." "I've tried everything," said the
+man, "but she still continues to be a troubler in Israel." The minister
+professed his inability to interfere. "I can do nothing at all," he
+said. "Yes you can," said the crofter, with a wink and a fearful
+whisper, "_You can keep her off!_"
+
+
+THE INDIGNANT ELDER.
+
+Since the Reformation the people have lived and thriven under the
+jurisdiction of the Session. In the records of the Session one finds a
+chronicle of the sins, eccentricities, and merriments of the people for
+the last two or three centuries. Several incidents based on these
+minutes will make what I say abundantly clear. The Quarrel of the Elder
+and the Minister's Housekeeper, for example, convulsed a still remoter
+parish in much the same overmastering way as the Dreyfus Trial agitated
+Paris. Herodotus is the only author I can think of who could have done
+justice to this northern _affaire_. Let me briefly summarise it. Between
+the minister's garden and that of one of his elders ran what was termed
+a hedge. The shrubs which formed the base of this hedge were so
+ill-grown that the minister's fowls could easily go, clucking and
+scraping, from one garden into the other. Evidence was given to prove
+that the cabbages and pot-herbs in the elder's plot were torn and
+spoiled in parts. Every morning he stood at a gap in the hedge and sang
+aloud like a skipper in a storm or Achilles at the trench of the Greeks:
+"I am being ruined and brought to poverty by the minister's hens." This
+cry grated upon the ears of the manse housekeeper, who by and by thought
+it her duty to go out and reason with the elder. "It's no' the
+minister's hens ava that's to blame, it's the craws o' the firmament."
+"It's the hens." "No, the craws." "Hens I declare!" "You're a _deceitful
+impostor_!" said the housekeeper. Now, no self-respecting elder could
+stand that. Boiling with wrath as he was, he remembered his
+ecclesiastical status, merely remarking that there was work for the
+Session at last. By nightfall he had been in every croft within the
+Session's jurisdiction, laying off his tale in each, and as he got
+practice and more vehemence with constant repetition, he attained
+extreme fluency and impressiveness before the day was done. An
+unspeakable joy came over the community at the prospect of a delicious
+scandal. To avoid the breach being healed by an apology, many of the
+crofters sought to envenom the quarrel by refusing to believe that the
+elder was altogether right. "Crows," they said, "had been known to play
+havoc with cabbage. Elders were but human, and so, hasty in laying
+charges on insufficient evidence. The case was certainly one for the
+Church courts. The housekeeper must have a good defence to make, and
+would no doubt make it at the proper time and in the proper place. We
+must hear both sides." One may see by this that the spirit which
+animates a great nation (the desire, namely, to divert itself with the
+contentions of those who come before the public eye), animates also the
+smallest communities in the realm. The great passion-stirring process,
+_Hens versus Crows_, lasted for some seven months. Over and over again
+the hedge was examined. Now the elder thought he had the best of it,
+only to be damped by a revulsion of feeling in favour of the
+housekeeper. The finding of the Session was adverse to the lady. The
+fact that she had practically called the elder a son of Belial could not
+be got over. The minister, holding the scales of justice, was forced, in
+spite of himself, to declare against her. Considering her position,
+some mildness was shown in pronouncing her condemnation and the penalty.
+Having regard to the dignity of the offended man, nothing less than the
+sentence of _keeping off_ could meet the ends of ecclesiastical law. But
+one "keeping off" was deemed adequate. The elder was avenged. At the
+ensuing communion, he was seen to smile and rub his hands diabolically,
+as he glanced towards the back of the church, where sat, outside the
+pale of the privileged elect, the unhappy and vanquished housekeeper,
+who had called him an impostor.
+
+
+TORQUIL HALCROW.
+
+Torquil Halcrow's case presents features of a different order. For some
+reason a _fama_ spread abroad respecting him to the effect that his
+language and demeanour left much to be desired, and that not even the
+presence, or at least proximity, of women operated to mellow the
+strength of his vocabulary. Nothing definite was openly formulated
+against him, but Torquil became aware that in certain quarters his
+reputation was being slowly undermined. It is precisely this vague kind
+of aggression on a man's character that is the most difficult to combat.
+He took the bull by the horns in a most heroic way. _He got up a public
+testimonial to himself, and went round canvassing for signatures._ The
+testimonial ran thus:--"We, the undersigned women of the parish, have
+pleasure in bearing witness that we have known Torquil Halcrow for
+twenty years, and never have we known him do an unseemly act or utter an
+unworthy expression." Thereafter followed a list of forty names.
+Furnished with this document, he strode up to the manse, fluttered it in
+the minister's face with a gesture of triumph, laid it down on the study
+table, then turned on his heel and walked away. The minister, when he
+examined the paper minutely, found that Torquil, in the belief that the
+heading of the testimonial was not sufficiently strong, had added this
+further clause in his own handwriting: "_but many a precious word of
+truth and gracious spiritual comfort have we heard proceeding from his
+lips_."
+
+I have already referred to the beautiful and pathetic saying of Mr.
+Barrie that every window-blind is the curtain of a tragedy. I thought of
+that dictum as the minister of Cunningsburgh pointed to one cot after
+another in the neighbourhood, and narrated the calamities that had
+fallen upon them within recent years. Here, an old widow was mourning
+the loss of a son who had gone to the deep-sea fishing and would never
+return: his bright young life had been swallowed up in the insatiable
+ocean, and she was left lamenting in her indigence. There, it was a
+father who had been engulfed in the roost; or again, the illness of a
+mother had cast a blight for years upon this other household. Sometimes
+I have seen two old people, all their sons dead, living a kind of
+stupefied half-life, automatically moving about, poor and wretchedly
+clad, unable to understand anything except the welcome heat of the sun
+and the animal comfort of a little food. There are many sad things in
+this world: none is more sad than the sight of two old people outliving
+their progeny and wandering about in decrepit second childhood with no
+more substance than a dream. The sea is mainly answerable for the great
+and deep tragedies of the Shetlands: it is like a pitiless monster,
+howling in anger at their doors and claiming its yearly prey. No native
+writer has as yet attempted to make vocal for us the immense dumb
+sorrows of these fisher folks in the way Loti has done for the seafarers
+of Brittany.
+
+
+PHILOLOGY.
+
+Jakobsen, the Danish philologist, spent some years recently in
+collecting the remains of the old Norwegian speech that still linger in
+the conversation and the place-names of the islanders. Perhaps the most
+interesting point brought out by Jakobsen is the prevalence in
+comparatively recent times of lucky words, which the fishermen used when
+at the deep-sea fishing, and only then. This practice is undoubtedly a
+relic of pagan ages when the sea-depths were regarded as the dominion of
+dread water spirits, who keenly watched those who intruded in their
+realms. The strange feature about this deep-sea speech is that its
+expressions were purely Norse, whereas the home idiom of the fishers was
+overwhelmingly English. The pagan beliefs respecting the hostile powers
+of the sea found expression in old words handed down from a
+pre-Christian epoch. These old words may have been originally liturgical
+or worship words, for the sea was an object of veneration and awe to the
+Norsemen who, in the conquering days, made their home on its angry
+waters. It was believed that the jealous powers of the ocean were
+vehemently hostile to Christianity, and hence the Shetland fishers, up
+till quite recently, carefully avoided any direct mention of _church_
+or _minister_ when on the water: the _haaf_ or lucky words being
+respectively _benihoose_ (prayer-house) and _upstander_. Even the
+domestic animals had special _haaf_ appellations. This conception of the
+sea as filled with weird mysterious beings of unspeakable malignity,
+ever ready to whelm the boat of an unwary intruder, carries the mind
+back to the old alliterative lay of _Beowulf_, the contest of that hero
+with the wallowing ocean-monsters, and the grim subterranean glow in the
+sea-home of Grendel's mother. The Shetlanders have only too much reason
+to brood over the cruelty of the sea. On July 20, 1881, during a
+terrific squall, sixty-three breadwinners were engulfed in the thwarting
+currents of the Sound of Yell.
+
+
+A SANDWICK GENTLEMAN.
+
+During all the foregoing discussion in the Cunningsburgh manse and
+garden, our driver had been wondering what subjects of talk could
+possibly be keeping us from continuing our journey to Sandwick. The two
+ministers--the original one and the Cunningsburgh man also--at length
+mounted the trap with me, and we all went joyfully on the final lap. The
+object of the journey was to visit Mr. Sinclair of Sandwick, a gentleman
+well worth going fifty miles to see. Mr. Sinclair has many qualities
+that make a man notorious. He went to Australia in an emigrant ship many
+years ago, and wrote a book upon it, in which he playfully remarks that
+he got the full value of his passage money, inasmuch as there was a
+birth, a death, and a suicide, between Plymouth and Melbourne. Another
+of his distinctions is great dexterity in playing the violin, his
+favourite pieces being "The Scalloway Lasses" and "The Auld Wife ayont
+the Fire." The title of the last-named piece rather staggered me, until
+I was informed by one of the ministers, who is a scholar and an
+antiquarian, that it relates to a time when the fire was in the middle
+of the room and when the smoke escaped by a hole in the roof, or in
+default of that, by the door. Mr. Sinclair rendered these pieces with
+infinite gusto, and, like all true artists, got as much pleasure as he
+gave. He had also the most diverting way of ejaculating the word _hooch_
+I have ever heard in my journey through life. It gives me pleasure to
+add that he wrote a poem on fifty whales that were driven from the sea
+by the local fishermen into Sandwick Bay. These whales were all
+beautifully cooped in the narrow inlet and stranded on the beach, when
+lo! the local landowners, citing some old statute, claimed from the
+fishermen a share of the spoil. Mr. Sinclair, indignant and astute at
+once, took upon himself the championship of the fishermen, and managed
+matters so admirably that the lords of the soil were completely worsted
+in the Edinburgh law-courts. Flushed with such signal success, he put
+the whole story into metre. A printed and framed copy of the poem hangs
+in a conspicuous place in his sitting-room. At our special request, he
+favoured us by singing the impassioned stanzas. It was a unique treat to
+hear him do so. There he was in the centre of the room holding the
+framed verses in his hand, gazing fondly thereat even as a mother
+regards her child. When the chorus came on, he laid down the poem, and
+lifted up his voice with glorious enthusiastic force. Inspiration was in
+his eye, his grey locks became dishevelled, his arms swung rhythmically
+to the beat of the melody. The entire interview was intense: it was one
+crowded hour, of which time is unable to cancel the memory.
+
+
+LOCAL TALES.
+
+The evening was a glorious one, and we _walked_ back some miles of the
+way. The Cunningsburgh minister was full of stories. He alluded
+laughingly to one of his flock who, when under the influence of drink,
+was powerful in prayer. "_When he gets a dram he goes to his knees at
+once._" The anecdote seemed to me to run counter to the views of the
+hymnologist who says "Satan trembles when he sees, the weakest saint
+upon his knees." Another of his stories had reference to two old
+crofters, both over eighty, who began one evening to talk of the follies
+of the young fisher-lads when they took to dram-drinking. One of the two
+remarked: "I wonder now what folly we two old men would commit if we
+chanced to get intoxicated, say at a funeral." "Well," said the other
+hoary-headed and infirm octogenarian, "I have no idea what you would do,
+but I am certain of this, that if I ever got the least bit touched, I
+would go and make love to the lasses at once." Thereupon the two feeble
+old fellows skirled a wicked laugh, and nearly gasped out their slim
+residue of life in unseemly merriment.
+
+Both ministers assured me that the belief in fairies still lingers on
+among the Shetland peasantry. Up on the hill-side the trow is supposed
+to wander about, and the little fellow can be seen skipping on the
+moon-light sward, by all who have eyes and the necessary faith. It is
+believed that he haunts the road-side even when the moon is not shining:
+consequently, when the crofters have to go out of doors at night, they
+protect themselves from his spells by carrying with them a blazing peat
+gripped with tongs. This smokes and sparkles in the darkness and the
+trow does not like it. It is easy for the electric-lighted citizens of
+Glasgow and Edinburgh to laugh at the simple folk-lore of fisher and
+crofter; but no one, however learned and sceptical, can quite escape
+from the mystic influence of fairy-lore if he lives through a winter
+among believing dalesmen. Let him look on the long silvery glimmer of a
+sea-voe, and hear the natives tell of trows chasing the ebbing Neptune
+down there on the dim sea-strand in a night of haze, before he says
+(with Theseus, in the _Midsummer Night's Dream_):
+
+ "I never may believe
+ These antick fables, nor those fairy toys."
+
+To the ear and eye of the philological Jakobsen, the Shetlanders both in
+speech and looks are remarkably like the Norwegians of the Saettersdal.
+In that part of Norway the trow is also a very popular terror. Children
+of a disobedient and obstreperous turn are afraid to venture near a wood
+at nightfall for fear of a little bogie with a red cap, who may suddenly
+slide down a pine-tree and snatch them off.
+
+
+FOULAH AND FAIR ISLE.
+
+I do not altogether envy the candidate for parliamentary honours who has
+to _nurse_ a remote insular constituency like Orkney and Shetland. I met
+Mr. Cathcart Wason in Lerwick, and learned that he had been going the
+round of the islands and had even paid a visit to the isolated and
+mountainous rock of Foulah. Now this was a very daring feat indeed, for
+I have heard of a young man who went once to visit his friends there and
+was kept a prisoner for five months owing to the squalls. The papers
+complimented Mr. Wason on his intrepidity: he went over from Walls in a
+smack, and did not make his address too lengthy, for fear the weather
+might change and Westminster be deprived of his eloquence for a space.
+Mr. Wason is a very tall gentleman, but in Foulah he met his peers in
+point of stature. The islanders are a fine set of men, hardy and godly.
+They are adroit fowlers and nimble cragsmen. It gives one a queer
+sensation to hear that the face of their sheer precipices used to be
+(like level land elsewhere) apportioned equitably among the various
+families. If A did not wish to catch birds on his aerial lot, he could
+let it to B and claim a certain percentage of the spoil. The population
+of the island is about 250: owing probably to intermarriage, there are
+many childless homes.
+
+I do not know if Mr. Wason has ever been to the Fair Isle, but I
+understand an Ex-Moderator of the Church of Scotland visited the little
+community there in 1903. There are two ways of getting to this islet:
+(1) by means of a sailing boat which leaves Grutness for Fair Isle once
+a fortnight with the mails; if the weather is bad, this mode of
+communication is suspended, as in winter no sane man would venture
+through the roost in such a boat; (2) by taking a passage on board the
+S.S. _Pole Star_, which calls on the first of every month with stores
+for the lighthouse. She is a strong, swift boat, and makes the journey
+from Stromness, seventy miles away. I may remark that a lecturer wishing
+to speak in the Fair Isle need not trouble himself about placards or
+handbills: the whole population will be on the shore to welcome him when
+he lands, and he could conveniently intimate his subject then, if he has
+any breath left in his body. The Fair Isle possesses a church organ and
+a non-surpliced choir. The islanders have a great appetite for sermons,
+as the following story, told by Mr. Russell, amply proves. "The minister
+of Dunrossness went one summer to dispense the communion in the Fair
+Isle, and a storm came on which detained him there for about eight days.
+The weather also prevented the boats from going to the fishing. As the
+people had no pressing work to do at the time, and as it was only on
+rare occasions that they enjoyed the presence of the parish minister,
+they were anxious to avail themselves of his services while he was among
+them. _Accordingly, at their desire, he preached every day during his
+stay. In all, he preached thirteen times._ He had taken the precaution
+of bringing a good stock of sermons with him. Before this was exhausted,
+the weather providentially improved, so that he was able to get
+home."[26]
+
+The cherished legends of one's youth get sorely demolished in the course
+of travel and investigation. The school-books used to say that the
+Shetlanders were taught to knit by Spanish women saved from the wreck of
+the Armada. The islanders stoutly deny any indebtedness, and declare
+that there never was the slightest friendship between their ancestors
+and the crews of King Philip's galleons.
+
+ [26] The prayers of as many righteous men as possible are
+ requested for the inspectors of schools who have to examine and
+ report on the state of education in the Orkneys and Shetlands. I
+ had the pleasure of conversing with one of these hard-worked
+ officials in November, 1906. He spoke very warmly of the improved
+ educational benefit of the libraries that have been sent from
+ Paisley to the isles and skerries. This gentleman inspects the
+ Fair Isle school once every two years. On the occasion of his
+ last visit, he was rowed from Lerwick in a "sixern," and had a
+ most tempestuous time going through the _roost_. Two of his
+ oarsmen sickened, and were helpless. On getting ashore at last,
+ he forgot all his sorrows and soaking, when he heard heartsome
+ strains of welcome being played on the _insular pianola_.
+
+
+THE FISHING SEASON.
+
+To Lerwick, during the fishing season, thousands of women come from the
+island of Lewis to gut the myriad herring that are daily brought into
+the bay. There is an extemporised town for the strangers on the
+outskirts, over which float many odours, weird, pungent, and unsavoury.
+All the processes of gutting, curing, and kippering go on in grand
+style. The women, clad in a kind of oilskin, handle their dangerous
+implements in most dexterous fashion. It is a horrid business, but well
+paid. Prolific Nature is never tired supplying these women with work,
+for as many as 68,000 eggs have been found in the roe of one female
+herring. My friend, Mr. M'Kenzie of Ullapool, who is in the service of
+the Fishery Board, took me to see the official examination of several
+hundred barrels of fish, preparatory to the branding thereon of the
+official stamp. The owners pay for this examination, but the additional
+value given to each barrel by the Government mark far surpasses the fee
+exacted by the Board. The branding-officer selects at random a barrel
+here and there, extracts some dozen fish from each, and satisfies
+himself as to the size and quality. If the herring are puny or of
+inferior sort, the officer refuses to brand, and the examination fee is
+refunded. Mr. M'Kenzie remarked that this was the only case in which he
+had ever seen men reluctant to receive money. I followed that gentleman
+as he walked over the long lines of slippery herring barrels, lying in
+horizontal juxtaposition, and I cannot recommend the exercise to those
+who have had no training in gymnastics.
+
+The great success of the Shetland fisheries during the last year or two
+has brought to Lerwick a palpable increase of business and droves of
+business men. In the Grand Hotel there were, in August last, thirty
+gentlemen resident who were in some way brought thither by the traffic
+in herring--among the number a young Russian, who, with his wife, sat at
+a little table apart, and kept jabbering their language with glib
+expressiveness. His name was Walk-off, and his object was the
+annexation of fish for Muscovite consumption. He had a flabby face and
+long, dark hair, which he publicly combed. _She_ was small and
+pretty--doll-like, indeed--with jewels in her ears, which glittered and
+flashed in the gas-light. She was a very loquacious wee creature, and
+her intonation reminded me of the caressing way the Swedes articulate
+English. I heard him read the Russian newspapers to her with evident
+emotion, but the only word I could make out was _Kouropatkin_. The
+herring-agents at the hotel table were full of drollery. One of them,
+hailing from Wick, addressed a neighbour abruptly to this effect: "I am
+a rather expensive man to sit beside, and to one like you especially so,
+for you seem to be a water-drinker. When I tell you who I am, however,
+you will insist on standing me a bottle of champagne." He was frigidly
+asked to state his grounds for such a preposterous expectation. "Prepare
+to gasp," he replied; "you see before you one who is a model and a
+beacon to all the men of Caithness. I am the sire of nine sturdy sons,
+and _they have only three birth-days among them_, seeing that they came
+into this vale of tears three at a time."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+COMMERCIAL TRAVELLERS AND THEIR ANECDOTES.
+
+ Trials of commercials--The two-est-faced knave--Mary, the maid
+ of the inn--Anecdotes of the smoking-room: Sonnet to
+ Raleigh--Peelin's below the tree--"She's away!"--A mean
+ house--One of the director's wives--Temperance hotels--A
+ memorial window--The blasted heath--The day for it--The
+ converted drummer--A circular ticket--A compound
+ possessive--Sixteen medals--"She's auld, and she's thin, and
+ she'll keep"--The will o' the dead--Sorry for London--"Raither
+ unceevil"--An unwelcome recitation--A word in season--A Nairn
+ critic--A grand day for it--A pro-Boer--"Falls of Bruar, only,
+ please!"--A bad case of nerves.
+
+
+TRIALS OF COMMERCIALS.
+
+The commercial traveller (that bustling and indispensable middleman)
+leads a life of mingled joy and pain. He is constantly on the move, and
+from meeting innumerable types of men, becomes very shrewd in judging
+character. Resource, readiness, abundance of glib phrases must in time
+become his. He must not, for fear of offence, show any marked bias in
+politics or religion. His temper must be well under control; he must
+have the patience of an angel; he must smile with those that are merry,
+be lugubrious with those that are in the dumps, and listen, with
+apparent interest, to the stock stories of hoary-headed prosers. It is
+not enough that he should book orders. Some shaky customers are only too
+ready to give these. It is his business to book orders only from those
+that are likely to pay. A big order delivered to a scoundrel who means
+to fail next week, is a horrible calamity, which, if it does not result
+in pains and penalties, means a sharp reprimand and a loss of prestige
+at headquarters, that may take years to redeem.
+
+He has to sleep in many a different bed. It is lucky for him if a damp
+couch has not rheumatised his limbs. No one knows better than he that
+what seems a bell-pull has often, owing to former violence and broken
+wires, no connection with the bell. Here a chimney smokes, there the
+flue is blocked with birds' nests. In certain country inns, the flimsy
+gossamer of spiders makes an undesirable fretwork over the greenish
+knobs of the ill-puttied panes. Mice, rats, and "such small deer"
+scamper uncannily the live-long night along the worn waxcloths and
+unspeakable carpets. As he undresses by the light of a three-inch
+candle, he has his soul horrified by early Victorian prints, of Paul
+tumbling from his horse on the way to Damascus, of the gory relief of
+Lucknow, or of some towsy-headed clansman smiling out of perspective. He
+is by no means a tourist on pleasure bent. He must face gust and surge,
+for he cannot choose his time and weather. His duty is to cover as much
+ground as he can in a given week, fill his order-book with
+irreproachable orders, and get home to report, preparatory to another
+sally in another direction. Competition stings him into feverish
+activity. If he sells tea, he well knows that an army of rivals is
+scouring the whole country with samples as good, or perhaps a great deal
+better, than his own.
+
+
+THE TWO-EST-FACED KNAVE.
+
+Nevertheless, the jovial facetiousness of these commercial gentlemen
+knows no limits, and hotel-waiters are, at all times, fair game for
+their stings and arrows. In one of the northern hotels, there used to be
+a portly and rubicund waiter who might have passed for the High Priest
+of the Goddess of Health. His face shone, if I may say so, with the
+radiance of perfect digestion. A pert commercial, one day, approached
+him with an affected look of deep concern and said, "_Well, I hope
+you're keeping better_," accompanying the remark with a dig in the
+waiter's stomach. The waiter, who had never known a minute's ill-health
+in his life, swore vividly for fifteen minutes without repeating
+himself, and among many references to the commercial's ancestry, called
+him the _two-est-faced_ knave that had ever set foot on the Shetland
+Islands. Such a superlative was felt by all to be a masterpiece of
+language, and turned the laugh against the bagman.[27]
+
+ [27] As to language, one hears, especially in the Hebrides,
+ phrases of amusing quaintness, due no doubt to the speaker
+ handling a foreign tongue. The school in one of the Mull villages
+ is very small, and I made a remark to that effect in the hearing
+ of the hotel-porter. "Oh, no," said he, "_it is a good deal
+ bigger than you would wonder_." The same waiter, who had a talent
+ for confusing his language, said in reply to an irate visitor who
+ had questioned his intelligence: "You need not talk like that; I
+ am as good as you; _I am as good as any other man put together_."
+
+
+MARY, THE MAID OF THE INN.
+
+I have a great deal of sympathy with hotel-porters and waiters, and
+think them unduly longsuffering at times. As to Mary, the exemplary maid
+of the hotel alluded to, she can hold her own in repartee with any of
+the visitors. She is a distinct character, and Molire could have made a
+"type" of her. She has no sinecure of a situation, and, after eleven at
+night, when the last supper is over, she has to polish the knives for
+the morrow's breakfast. She is young, slim, and active, and wears a
+string of red corals round her neck. The place is not frequented by
+plutocratic tourists, and so her tips are meagre. In spite of her long
+days and her slim perquisites, the girl is affable, smiling, and gay.
+She trips out and in, sylph-like, can carve fowls most dexterously by
+the light of nature, never spills the soup, and has a laughing and
+appropriate word for all. Mary, I hope, will get some decent fellow for
+husband, and be a stay and comfort to him all the days of his life.
+Meanwhile, however (to use the historic present), a nice old gentleman
+in the soft goods line, who hails from the flourishing village of
+Dundee, is paying her marked attentions. She will have none of him, for
+all his apostolic looks. He repeats to her, with a comically sentimental
+air, the lines of Omar:
+
+ "Here with a book of verse beneath the bough,
+ A loaf of bread, a cup of wine, and thou
+ Beside me singing in the wilderness,
+ The wilderness were Paradise enow."
+
+Mary looks in amazement at the old gentleman with the insinuating voice,
+anon bursts into a merry peal, and trips off with the remark, "_There's
+nae fules like auld anes_," which a listening Londoner takes to mean,
+"There's nothing fills like onions!"
+
+
+ANECDOTES OF THE SMOKING-ROOM.
+
+
+SONNET TO RALEIGH.
+
+The conversation of an intelligent commercial traveller is, as I said,
+of a facetious and entertaining turn. He speaks to so many people in the
+course of a day and hears so many anecdotes as he rushes about, that his
+sense of humour becomes very keen. Old Burton, author of the _Anatomy of
+Melancholy_, used to dissipate his sombre thoughts by listening to the
+coarse badinage of bargemen: a modern, afflicted with Burton's
+complaint, might well find a cure in the smoking-room of a hotel among a
+company of commercial travellers. One Saturday night, in a Shetland
+hotel, I listened to a crowd of these merry gentlemen communicating to
+each other their several collections of stories. Before doing so, they
+all sang with great fervour the well-known hymn _The Sands of Time are
+Sinking_, a whisky-traveller officiating at the harmonium. One of the
+number ostentatiously beat time with his pipe. It was a very affecting
+scene, and certain of the singers were moved to tears at their own
+melody.
+
+The company then settled down, in a pleased frame of mind, to tell
+stories. I noted some of these, and as they were new to me, I cherish
+the hope that they may not be stale to others. The following
+preliminary sonnet to Sir Walter Raleigh seems to be apposite and new;
+it is needed to give atmosphere to the tales:
+
+ Raleigh! the benefactor of thy kind,
+ May azure undulations ever roll
+ As incense to thee from the glowing bowl,
+ Thy rapt disciples fume with placid mind
+ In easy chair, by ingle-nook reclined!
+ Next to the mage, Prometheus, who stole
+ From Heaven's court with philanthropic soul,
+ The wonder-working fire, thou art enshrined
+ In mortal bosoms as a friend, for thou
+ Did'st bring from sunset isles the magic leaf
+ That weaves enchantment's halo round the brow,
+ Alleviates the pang of every grief
+ And stirs the bard, exempt from fretting cares,
+ To wail the weird of pipeless millionaires.
+
+And now for the stories.
+
+
+"PEELIN'S BELOW THE TREE."
+
+A Sunday School teacher in the island of Luing was giving a lesson on
+the disobedience of Adam and Eve, and the fruit of that forbidden tree
+whose mortal taste brought death into this world, and other ills. At the
+close of his harangue, which was rather above the heads of the children,
+he said, "Can any of you tell me _how the Creator knew_ that Adam had
+eaten the apple?" There was silence for a time. At last one boy, with a
+glimmer of light in his eyes, shouted: "Please, sir, because He _saw the
+peelin's below the tree_."
+
+
+"SHE'S AWAY."
+
+An Englishman staying in Oban, wished to visit the island of Coll, and
+discovered, on enquiry at Macbrayne's office, that the S.S. _Fingal_
+left for that outer isle at five in the morning. He accordingly gave
+serious instructions to the "boots" of his hotel to rap him up at 4.30
+A.M., and to show him no mercy. At _six_ o'clock, the tourist was
+awakened by a noise like that of a battering-ram at his door, and a
+stentorian voice sternly enquiring: "Are you the gentleman that's going
+with the early boat?" "Yes, yes, I am," said the tourist, leaping to his
+feet. "_Well, she's away_," said the boots. (This is a story that grows
+on one.)
+
+
+A MEAN HOUSE.
+
+Another hotel story: Feeling somewhat thirsty in the middle of his
+dinner and not judging that water was sufficiently slockening, a visitor
+rang the bell and asked the waiter to bring him a bottle of lager. This
+was done. "How much do you charge for this?" enquired the traveller.
+"Ninepence," replied the waiter. Anger, consternation, and incredulity
+were all depicted, by turns, on the visitor's cheek. "What!" he shouted,
+"_ninepence_. Why, I could buy a dozen bottles for half-a-crown. It's
+downright robbery to ask ninepence for one bottle. You've made a
+mistake." "I've made no mistake," said the waiter; "I was told to ask
+ninepence. _But_," (at this point he sidled up to the traveller and
+whispered, with terrible accents, in his ear) "_it's a damp mean house
+this you're in, and I'm leaving mysel' the morn!_"
+
+
+ONE OF THE DIRECTOR'S WIVES.
+
+A gentleman who loved tobacco exceedingly well, went into a first-class
+smoking compartment, filled his pipe, and settled down, with a newspaper
+in front of him, to enjoy the luxury of a long and undisturbed worship
+of the weed. He had a journey of fifty miles before him. Just as the
+train was moving off, a lady, who was panting and flustered, was pushed
+up into the compartment by a porter. It was soon evident that pipes and
+tobacco were not congenial to this dame. She began to sniff in a very
+haughty fashion, but the smoker, utterly indifferent to her presence,
+continued to roll out with deliberate relish his dense tobacco fumes.
+Soon she lost all patience, and said with extreme bitterness: "You
+there, behind that paper, you have no manners. You have no right to
+smoke before a lady. Do you know who I am? _I am one of the directors'
+wives, sir._" Down went the journal, and "Oh, indeed," said he, "you are
+one of the director's wives, are you? Well, let me tell you this, that
+even if you were the director's _only_ wife, I do not intend to
+encourage you, by any compliance of mine, in the bad habit of rushing
+for trains and getting into the wrong compartment!"
+
+
+TEMPERANCE HOTELS.
+
+An English clergyman--a pronounced teetotaler and temperance worker--was
+being driven through the streets of a Scotch town in an open machine.
+Looking round, with expansive benevolence, on the streets and people, he
+was overjoyed to see such a large number of temperance hotels. "Driver,"
+he exclaimed, "I am delighted to see, by the hotels, that total
+abstinence has got such a firm hold in this place." "Indeed, sir," said
+the driver, "don't be too sure of that. We have two kinds of temperance
+hotels here: the first kind would like the licence, but can't get it;
+the second kind have had the licence, and lost it through bad behaviour
+and disorderly conduct."
+
+
+A MEMORIAL WINDOW.
+
+An inn-keeper in Ross-shire, with great enthusiasm, said to a visitor:
+"There's nobody I work for with more satisfaction than an English
+gentleman. Now, there's Sir Samuel Oatts, the wealthy Liverpool merchant
+that has the shootings near here. He is a fine gentleman, and so
+considerate. He is not very good at shooting, I must admit: he often
+misses the birds, and he goes through a good number of dogs. One day he
+shot the keeper in the right eye, and blinded it. But he gave the keeper
+a handsome present and a fine new glass eye. We call that eye '_Oatts'
+Memorial Window_,' and the keeper can sleep during the sermon now
+without anybody knowing, provided he does not snore."
+
+
+THE BLASTED HEATH.
+
+Two English tourists--big, hearty fellows--were travelling in the same
+compartment with a communicative Scot, when the train stopped at Forres.
+"Gentlemen," said the Scot, "this is Forres, and I'm sure you've read
+about it; quite near Forres is the _blasted heath_ where Macbeth was
+accosted by the witches." "How shocking," said one of the Englishmen;
+"how really shocking! Well, you see, we haven't read about that yet:
+we've been up North for some time, and _we have'nt seen the pypers for
+ten dyes!_"
+
+
+THE DAY FOR IT.
+
+The driver of the bus which goes through the delightful part of
+Argyllshire known as Hell's Glen, is often chaffed by the summer
+tourists rather unmercifully. One day, a nervous southern was
+criticising him on his furious and careless driving: "You shouldn't be
+on the box at all; I never saw such a wild driver." "Drive!" said Jehu,
+in a voice of thunder. "Why, man, once every year, I drive the
+mail-coach _down that steep hill-side_ among the bracken. _And this is
+the day for it!_" So saying, the humorous fellow made as if to whip the
+horses down the cliff, and the terrified tourist shrieked aloud. "Seeing
+I've such a nervous passenger," said the driver, with a guffaw, "I had
+better break my own rules, and keep to the main road."
+
+
+THE CONVERTED DRUMMER.
+
+A dilapidated Scot, with a strong odour of the accursed, staggered into
+a Salvation Army meeting one night, and was deeply impressed by the
+service. He became a changed man, professed conversion, and got a
+thorough moral overhaul. Like many others, he had great difficulty in
+keeping his good resolutions, but persevered, nobly and successfully.
+Latterly, he was admitted into the orchestra, and got command of the big
+drum. He was so anxious to show his zeal, that he beat far too
+vehemently, and drowned all the other instruments in his ecstatic
+rataplan. The captain mildly remonstrated with him, and requested him to
+beat a little more gently. "_Gently!_" shouted the reformed drummer,
+"that's impossible. Since I've got salvation, I feel so happy, that I
+could ding the whole slammed thing to bits!" (or rather "slim the whole
+danged thing to bits").
+
+
+A CIRCULAR TICKET.
+
+Three commercials, travelling from Cork to Dublin, had a discussion on
+the illiteracy of the Irish railway employs. "Look here," said one of
+them, "the majority of the ticket collectors can't even _read_ the
+tickets they are supposed to check." The other two refused to believe
+him, but he stoutly maintained his assertion. Taking out of his pocket
+the round ticket given him at the office of the Cork hotel, and
+containing the number of his bedroom, he said, "I intend to offer this,
+instead of my railway ticket, at the first station where tickets are
+punched." Shortly thereafter, the train stopped, and a porter came round
+the carriages to look at the tickets. There was silence deep as death
+when the commercial handed his bedroom ticket to the official. The
+latter looked long and carefully at the thing and muttered, "Bejabbers,
+I never saw one like that before!" "Don't keep the train waiting," said
+the commercial, in a pretended fury, "don't you see it's a _circular
+ticket_." "Oh, and in faith it's you that's right: it _is_ a circular
+ticket," said the porter. So saying, he punched the hotel check and
+withdrew, leaving the three travellers to weep for joy all the way to
+Dublin.
+
+
+A COMPOUND POSSESSIVE.
+
+The following grammatical story will doubtless be new to most readers. A
+Sunday School jaunt had been arranged in an Ayrshire town, and the
+children were all ready to go in carts to a field, some miles away, for
+games and open-air junketing. Everyone was impatient to set out, but the
+piper was late, and the procession of carts could not start without
+music. The minister became impatient, and sent a youth to tell the piper
+to hurry up. The boy, on coming to the piper's house, saw a woman
+standing at the door, and addressed her in these words: "_Are you the
+man-that-plays-the-pipes's wife?_"
+
+
+SIXTEEN MEDALS.
+
+Those who doubt the efficacy of self-lauding advertisement are refuted
+by this story. A commercial traveller, representing a whisky firm,
+craved an order from a small Highland innkeeper. "Come, Donald," he
+said, "you must give me an order this time." "You will be getting no
+order from me, for your whisky is no good whatever. Dewar of Perth has
+got sixteen medals for his whisky; it is so good to drink, and makes
+people drunk so nice and quiet. But _your firm never got a single medal
+for filling folk fou_." The granting of medals for quiet and comely
+intoxication is a brilliant, although droll, idea.
+
+
+"SHE'S AULD, AND SHE'S THIN, AND SHE'LL KEEP."
+
+In a lone isle of the West, funerals are functions that cannot be
+celebrated (at least in the way consecrated tradition prescribes)
+without ample dispensing of whisky among the mourners. As there is no
+pier on the island, the steamer very frequently may not be able to call
+for days, during the terrific gales of winter. The legitimate stores of
+insular whisky thus occasionally become exhausted, and should a death
+occur during the period of dearth, a very regrettable situation arises.
+In the epigrammatic style of King James I., who used to say "_No bishop,
+no king_," we might express the difficulty by saying _No whisky, no
+funeral_. While a gale of exceptional ferocity was raging some winters
+ago, an old woman passed away, and there was not enough whisky on the
+island to bury her with credit. Her son scanned the angry sky and sea
+daily, in the hope that the weather would show signs of clearing up.
+After a week's blighted hopes, he still refused to sanction interment,
+remarking, "_She's auld, and she's thin, and she'll keep_." Next day the
+sea was calm, the _Dunara_ called, and the old lady got her _munera
+pulveris_.
+
+
+THE WILL O' THE DEAD.
+
+The foregoing story suggested to one of the auditors the tale told in
+connection with the death of Lord Forglen, one of the Judges of the
+Court of Session, in 1727. After a long illness, in which he had endured
+the expert advice of several eminent physicians, Forglen, one morning,
+departed into the land of shadows. Not knowing of the fatal termination,
+one of the medical men, Dr. Clark, called as usual and asked David Reid,
+clerk to Forglen, how his master was. David's answer was: "I houp he's
+well,"--a gentle euphuism, indicating that all was over, and also a
+timid hope that Heaven had received a new inhabitant. The doctor was
+shown into a room where he saw two dozen of wine under the table. Other
+doctors arriving, David made them all take seats, while he detailed,
+with much pathos, the affecting incidents of his master's dying hours.
+As an antidote to their grief, the company took a glass or two, and
+thereafter the doctors rose to depart, but David detained them. "No, no,
+gentlemen; not so. It was the express will o' the dead that I should
+fill ye a' fou, and I maun fulfil the will o' the dead." All the time
+the tears were streaming down his cheeks. "And indeed," said Dr. Clark
+afterwards, when telling the story, "he did fulfil the will o' the dead,
+for before the end o't there was na ane of us able to bite his ain
+thoom."
+
+
+SORRY FOR LONDON.
+
+The following story is a good example of insular patriotism. Certain
+shooting tourists in the island of Mull, who hailed from London, and who
+were expecting important news from the capital, were greatly exasperated
+to find, on calling at the local post-office, that telegraphic
+communication with the mainland had broken down. Some very uncanonical
+language was indulged in, which the local postmaster deeply resented.
+One tourist after another, exclaimed with blank despair: "Alas, poor
+Mull will get no news from London to-day." "What will Mull do without
+the London news?" "No news from London, what a misfortune for Mull!"
+This harping on the forlornness of the island caused the blood of the
+postmaster to boil with indignation, and he shouted in ire: "It is not
+Mull I will be sorry for, at all, at all. Mull can do without the
+London news. But what will poor London do, when she finds she will not
+be able to get any news from Tobermory, or from Salen, or from Dervaig,
+or from Craignure, or from Lochdon, or from Lochbuie, or from Bunessan,
+the whole of this blessed day!"
+
+
+"RAITHER UNCEEVIL."
+
+A well-known boat, _The Stormy Petrel_, had been to Ardrossan for coal,
+and was conveying the precious cargo to the romantic terminus of
+Cairndow at the head of Loch Fyne. At St. Catherine's a great thirst
+took possession of the crew, and they put in there for refreshments. The
+conversation was most animated, and extended itself over a wide tract of
+political and theological topics. On setting out for Cairndow early next
+morning, all the crew had wistful, lustreless eyes, confused thoughts,
+and bad consciences. He to whom the coal was being conveyed, was
+awaiting them. He rowed out to _The Stormy Petrel_ in a small boat, and
+on coming near assailed them, in English and Gaelic, with all the most
+vituperative expressions he could remember. But the crew, each and all
+of them, knew they had been guilty of culpable delay, and uttered not a
+word, good or bad, as their assailant rowed round their boat and
+withered them with his invective. They had no fight left in them, and
+sat, with bowed heads, till the storm would subside. After enduring the
+agony for half an hour, one of the crew looked up and said, "Do you no'
+think, Mr. Sanderson, that you're _raither unceevil so early in the
+morning_?" This remark, uttered in a quiet, sad, reproachful way,
+staggered Mr. Sanderson far more than the most thunderous abuse would
+have done, and brought home to him the undoubted fact that he had been
+defective on the score of good taste.
+
+
+AN UNWELCOME RECITATION.
+
+One of the travellers, on being asked to contribute his item to the fund
+of anecdotes, said that instead of telling a tale, he would give a
+recitation. Before doing so, he sneezed artificially six times, and then
+recited a poem on
+
+ _Influenza._
+
+ Influenza has come like the wolf on the fold,
+ And the duke and the ditcher are down with the cold.
+ The doctor is smiling, for business is here,
+ And the chink of the guinea resounds in his ear.
+ No household is spared: both the villa and cot
+ Their quota of swollen-nosed patients have got.
+ The clerk of the weather is gloating on high
+ At the lords of creation that bed-ridden lie.
+ Each chamber resounds with the echo of sneezing,
+ With deep-laboured coughing and bronchial wheezing.
+ While, loading the table, the victim can spy
+ Lotions, tonics, and ointments confusedly lie.
+ The druggist (douce man) is thanking his stars
+ For this nice epidemic of paying catarrhs,
+ He's making his hay, though no sunshine is seen,
+ And his till gleams with silver where copper has been.
+
+
+A WORD IN SEASON.
+
+This dismal piece of verse effectually cleared the smoking-room, and
+filled me with a great sorrow, since I had just recollected three or
+four stories of my own. I now take the liberty of laying these before
+the ingenuous reader. If he says they are dull, let me tell him (i.)
+that he has no perception of humour, and (ii.) that occasional dulness
+is the inalienable privilege of every free-born Briton. Many a spry
+wight thinks it his duty to be _continuously funny and monotonously
+merry_. Let a quiet and demure dulness be the foil of your
+side-splitting sallies. Learn to keep the peace, yea for hours at a
+time. If you are in a mixed company, cultivate the dictum of "give and
+take." Be not for ever doling out your scraps of mirth to the dyspeptic
+stomachs of your associates. A wise reciprocity and interplay of
+merriment is the best rule--a fair share among the entire party. Burns
+himself, sparkling talker as he was, is recorded to have been at times
+sunk in gloom and shadow. But anon emerging from his moodiness, he would
+utter such words as set the table in a roar. And now for these
+masterpieces of humour.
+
+
+A NAIRN CRITIC.
+
+Why is it that publishers, aye, and even booksellers, are so often out
+of sympathy with the poets? I spoke once to a bookseller in Nairn about
+a local poet's volume that was lying on the counter. "Do you personally
+know this bard?" I asked. "Ay, that I do," was the reply; "he's an
+eccentric wee chap. I've many a laugh at him as he goes along the
+street, muttering to himself and picking his teeth with a fountain-pen.
+Eccentric! bless my soul, how could a poet be anything but eccentric?
+Besides, he's bound to be a liar: for if he can't get the end of a line
+to come right with truth for a rhyme, he has got to make it _clink with
+a whopper_. Why, man, it's a great worry for an honest man like me to
+speak the truth in plain prose. If I were to send out my bills in metre
+to my customers, there would be a rise of temperature soon in the town
+of Nairn. No, no: the only thing that can be done with a poet's
+manuscript is to take it to the head of the garden, sprinkle it with
+paraffin, and apply a vesta."
+
+
+"A GRAND DAY FOR IT."
+
+While one of the great six-day battles of the Eastern war was going on,
+a country doctor, by some mistake in delivery, did not get his _Herald_
+to breakfast one morning. Anxious to get the news, he bolted his meal
+and sallied forth to hear the latest from the seat of war. He saw a
+wrinkled old churl trimming the roadside hedge with a bill-hook, and
+humming a tune like the gravedigger in _Hamlet_, Act v. "Any news of the
+war?" gasped the doctor. "Eh?" said the old man, without discontinuing
+his work. "Are you not aware," said the doctor, "that there is a great
+battle raging in Manchuria?" "No," said the man, "I know nothing about
+it, and care less." "What!" shouted the doctor. "You care nothing about
+it? Why, man, the Russians and Japanese are at this moment _fighting for
+the hegemony of all Eastern Asia_." "Lord, do you say so?" replied the
+old cock, lopping unconcernedly at his hedge; "well, all I can say is,
+that _they're gettin' a grand day for it_."
+
+
+A PRO-BOER.
+
+On one occasion, in the West Highlands, I availed myself of a lugsail
+ferry to cross an arm of the sea and so avoid a long dtour by land. The
+boat was old, the sail was thick with big-stitched patches, and the
+ferryman was an elder. I had much edifying talk with him, and at last
+gliding from the Declaratory Act, of which he did not approve, I asked
+him if he had any family. "Yes," he replied, "I have two sons. One of
+them is a polissman in Glasgow, a nice lad, a very nice lad: he sends me
+ten shillings every month; oh! an excellent lad is he indeed. But my
+other son is a disgrace to me; he is bad, very bad. He is a drunkard and
+a card-player and a Sabbath-breaker, and what's a thousand times worse
+than all that, he's a _Pro-Boer_." This instance of patriotism in a
+remote Highland nook was very refreshing for me to hear, and I gave the
+anti-Krugerite elder a substantial fare for his trouble in ferrying me
+over the loch. He invoked the blessing of Heaven on me, and I hope his
+prayer will be answered.
+
+
+"FALLS OF BRUAR, ONLY, PLEASE!"
+
+Some years ago, I had occasion to spend a day at Blair Athol, where I
+was dosed with nothing but kindness by a genial son of the famous Clan
+Macdonald. He put his trap and driver at my disposal, in order that I
+might, with comfort and expedition, go and view the Falls of Bruar,
+immortalised in one of Burns's cleverest poems. No sooner had we set off
+than the driver began to calumniate Burns in unmeasured language, and to
+throw withering scorn on the Falls, which, he declared, were utterly
+unworthy of being visited by any sane man. "If you want to see real
+falls," said he, "I'll take you to the Falls of Tummel, which could
+knock those of Bruar into a cocked hat!" (such was the curious metaphor
+he employed). I told him he could take me to both if there was time, but
+Bruar I must see. He landed me at the Tummel, and drove on recklessly
+himself a mile further to see his sweetheart. The desire to pay a visit
+to his Bonnie Jean was the sole cause of his gibes at the poet. Back he
+came in an hour, chanting merrily, and we drove to Bruar. I found the
+varlet had lied most expansively: the Falls are gloriously fine, and
+worth walking a good many miles to see. On the homeward road, I could
+see he was ill at ease: he was dreadfully afraid that his amorous flight
+would be discovered by his master. He said to me once every minute,
+"_Falls of Bruar, only, please: keep your thumb on Tummel!_" Latterly he
+set these words to a kind of rough music, and sang them continuously in
+my ear, winking the while and smiling roguishly. I obeyed him.
+
+
+A BAD CASE OF NERVES.
+
+While I was sitting alone in the smoking-room of the hotel, a tall,
+thin, restless-eyed, aristocratic young fellow came quietly in. He went
+up to the sideboard, poured out half a tumbler of water, and carefully
+measured out about ten drops of phospherine therein. He swallowed the
+mixture, smacked his lips, and sighed. He then remarked that it was a
+nice evening and that he was very ill with a nervous complaint. "I
+suppose, now," he said, "you would actually tell me not to worry, to
+take everything easy, and, above all, to firmly believe there is nothing
+whatever the matter with me?" "Most certainly," I said, "you ought to
+consider yourself in perfectly good health; by and by you would come to
+be so in reality. The Christian Scientists say you might even learn to
+hold fire in your hand by thinking of the frosty Caucasus." "I suppose,
+too, you would recommend me to have a hobby, such as golf, or gardening,
+or amateur photography." "Yes, I believe a harmless hobby such as you
+mention would relieve the mental strain and take you out of yourself."
+"Well, I essayed golf, but, alas! I massacred a ram; I tried gardening,
+and tired of it before the flowers began to show; and as to photography,
+it only increased the number of my enemies." "What about cycling or
+horse-riding?" "These won't do--I can _think_ at both of them. Now, I
+_don't want to think: in fact, I mustn't_." "Fishing? wouldn't that be a
+reposeful diversion?" "No, no," he said, "I could not stand the sight of
+an animal enduring pain." "Well, you surely might try a little light
+reading." "The strange thing about my reading is this," said he, "I look
+at a sentence and understand it, but I am aware of something, either at
+the back of my head or behind me, which says, 'All this is futile stuff
+and nonsense: give it up, it's not for you; you are condemned to
+everlasting emptiness, and your life will never know any more fulness or
+joy.'
+
+ "Immense vacuity of intellect!
+ I lift a volume, but a sentence tires;
+ Even a flimsy magazine requires
+ From me more concentration and direct
+ Volition than my vagrant wits elect
+ To give the pages. All my soul desires
+ Is to gaze without purpose on the fire's
+ Crackle of glowing cinders, and detect
+ Weird shapes of beasts and palaces and men
+ In the red mass of photographic coal;
+ Perchance my lazy mind may, now and then,
+ Without exertion, read as on a scroll
+ (While the glede sinks to ashes in the grate)
+ The dust and nothingness of mortal state."
+
+"Well," I said, "your case is a queer one, and I am at a loss to suggest
+anything further." At this, the young man burst into a loud peal of
+laughter. He was supremely delighted at finding himself so unique, so
+singular. He took me by the hand, shook it most heartily, saying, "I
+haven't enjoyed myself so much for a long time. If I were oftener in the
+company of men like you, I might regain hope."
+
+The improvement was, unfortunately, of very short duration. He continued
+his observations thus:
+
+"And yet, and yet: _Sunt lacrimae rerum_. What is this world but a
+succession of fleeting images chasing each other across a background of
+joy or pain! Now we quaff the sour cup of misery, by and by we drink the
+intoxicating vintage of hope. Heaven alone stands firm, gemmed with the
+pitiless stars. The day breaks, rises to its glory in the shimmering
+height of noon, and dies away in the west: so does the utmost pride of
+man's career fade away to nothing, a harvest for Time's scythe. On all
+this growth and decay the stars gaze with their unpitying and eternal
+eyes. I think I'll have a little more phospherine."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+LEGENDS AND LITERARY NOTABILIA.
+
+ Gairloch folk-lore: Prince Olaf and his bride--A laird who had
+ seen a fairy--Tales from Loch Broom: The dance of death--The
+ Kildonan midwife--The magic herring--Taisch--Antiquities of
+ Dunvegan--Miscellaneous terrors--St. Kilda--Lady
+ Grange--Pierless Tiree--Lochbuie in Mull--Inveraray Castle--The
+ sacred isle--Appin--Macdonald's gratitude--Notes on the
+ Trossachs--Lochfyneside: Macivors, Macvicars, and
+ Macallisters--Red Hector--Macphail of Colonsay--Tales from
+ Speyside: Tom Eunan!--Shaws and Grants--The wishing well--Ossian
+ and Macpherson--At the foot o' Bennachie--Harlaw--Lochaber
+ reivers--Reay and Twickenham--Rob Donn--Rev. Mr. Mill of
+ Dunrossness.
+
+
+GAIRLOCH FOLK-LORE.
+
+I do not think anyone interested in local history and antiquities could
+find a greater treat than that furnished by Mr. Dixon's _Account of the
+Parish of Gairloch_. That romantic and lovely district is fortunate in
+having found a historian of unlimited enthusiasm and untiring industry.
+There is not a single dry page in his long and detailed narrative. Many
+of the legends he tells are known to me from other sources, but I am
+certain that no Scotch compiler (Mr. Dixon, let me say, is English) has
+written of them with such enjoyable sympathy and poetical ardour. I have
+been assured by local authorities that the facts adduced by Mr. Dixon
+are invariably reliable. That I can well believe; but what is still more
+rare, Mr. Dixon's facts are everywhere made to gleam and glitter in the
+radiance of romance. Let me narrate, in concentrated form, one of the
+legends which this clever writer has alluded to in more than one of his
+chapters.
+
+
+PRINCE OLAF AND HIS BRIDE.
+
+In the ninth century of the Christian era, one of the islands that in
+such picturesque fashion dot the surface of Loch Maree, was honoured by
+being the abode of a pious hermit, despatched thither from the sacred
+isle of Iona. His presence there, implying as it did austerity,
+perpetual worship of Heaven, and the reading of devout treatises,
+inspired veneration in the minds of the obstreperous tribes around. They
+felt themselves better from having such a good man near them. Wherever
+in these old times of war and gore, a saintly pioneer established
+himself, the kingdom of chaos and night was pushed back for miles around
+his cell.
+
+The Picts of the ninth century revered this man, and his fame was known
+also to the predatory seamen who came buccaneering among the islands of
+the West. A Viking of royal blood, Prince Olaf, in the intervals of his
+sea-roving, hied sometimes to the hermit's retreat, for instruction and
+spiritual blessing. The young man, as tradition alleges, was not beyond
+the need of guidance, for his temper was of the most fiery violence,
+and, at the slightest provocation, his hand was on the hilt of his
+sword. No doubt the saint of Isle Maree managed to moderate the Prince's
+vehemence, and draw him somewhat away from wrath which (as Homer puts
+it), waxeth like smoke in the breasts of warriors, and is far sweeter to
+them than trickling honey.
+
+By and by, this youth fell in love, and in characteristic fashion he
+loved with a whole-souled and overwhelming passion. The hot-tempered
+Viking became a new man, and he thus communed with himself: "How can I
+ask this maid to share my life on the stormy sea? She is too tender and
+gentle to go under the dark clouds in a war-galley with me and my rude
+mates, when we sail to meet the enemy. Nor, were she my wife, could I
+leave her behind and unprotected. Marry her I must, but I can neither
+take her with me thereafter, nor defend her in my absence. Go to, I'll
+e'en visit the monk of Isle Maree and get counsel from _him_."
+
+It is pleasant to note that the holy father found a way out of the
+difficulty. "Marry her, my son," said he, "and build a tower of strength
+as her abode on this isle of mine. When you are away, she will be near
+me. Old man as I am, the natives respect me for my devotion and my hoary
+hairs." The prince's scruples, so honourable to his love, were overcome.
+The marriage was celebrated with great pomp and rejoicing. The green
+pathways of the isle were thronged with feasters; tents were erected
+beside the thickets of oak and holly, and the Loch had little rest from
+the plashing of oars. The hermit blessed the couple and blessed the
+castle too in which the twain were for a time to reside.
+
+Prince Olaf and his lady were perfectly happy, and the golden hours of
+their wedlock sped merrily by. But the hours that were short to them,
+were long and dreary to the Norse rovers, lying inactive in the ships
+anchored hard by in the waters of Loch Ewe. Murmurs, growing at length
+in volume, were muttered by the men as they reflected, day by day, on
+the soft uxoriousness of their leader. They wished to be at sea on an
+expedition that had been planned aforetime ere the marriage had taken
+place. These murmurs reached the prince's ears, and, with many tears, he
+tore himself away from the bridal tower to take his place at the head of
+the squadron. It was a bitter severance, but tempered by the expectation
+of a speedy reunion. The prince took with him two pennons, a black and a
+white. "If I am successful in my expedition," he said, "I will display
+the white pennon on my galley; if misfortune befalls me (which God
+avert) the black will be flying on the prow. Do you come to meet my
+returning fleet and let a similar indication be visible on your barge to
+tell of your safety or your misfortune. A lover feels his excitement
+growing, the nearer he comes to his home: let us abridge, by such a
+device, the length of our anxiety."
+
+Love did not make Olaf a worse fighter: rather, indeed, it improved his
+prowess. The thought of the fair young wife in the lonely tower,
+protected mainly by the sanctity of an old hermit, nerved his arm, and
+he speedily got through the expedition with great applause. He swept
+everything before him, and turned homeward in the expectation of a
+cordial and meet welcome. During his absence, the lady had been
+fretting. Finally, as the days passed, she became downright angry. "He
+is neglecting me," she cried; "he goes away from my arms to the society
+of rough seamen. I am a mere bauble, a plaything for his leisure. He is
+tired of me, and perhaps on some distant coast he is dallying with a
+newer sweetheart. But I will try his heart. When I hear of his
+homecoming, I will go forth on my barge and have the black flag of
+desolation flying from the prow. In this way I may obtain some hint of
+his real feelings."
+
+Olaf came homeward in great glee, and on entering Loch Ewe from the
+outer sea, the white pennon of success flapped gaily in the wind. The
+princess, on the other hand, let prepare her boat, and, clothed in the
+weeds of death, lay down on the deck, while simulated sobs of woe and
+lamentation were raised by all her attendants. Slowly the boat, with its
+ill-omened signal, moved to meet the conquering hero. Olaf, the
+impetuous, was chilled to the heart, when he saw what he thought the
+sure indication of his lady's misfortune. What a sight met his eyes when
+he leapt on board! The princess stretched out in apparent death, and
+robed in the garments of the grave! He could not endure the torment and
+disillusion. He drove a dirk into his bosom with such passionate might
+that he fell down, bereft of life, mighty and mightily fallen, on the
+deck beside her.
+
+She had not expected such a tragic conclusion to her blamable artifice.
+Remorse, of course, got hold of her, and drawing the gory weapon from
+her dead lord's breast, she plunged it into her own. Too late was she
+convinced of his true love for her: she had only one duty, and that was
+to die with him. It is said in the legend that her life was not extinct
+when the barge, with its weird freight, returned to the hermit's isle.
+The old man, holding in his quaking hand the cross before her dying
+eyes, strove to comfort her somewhat as her blood ebbed quickly away.
+
+"The bodies of the unhappy pair," says Mr. Dixon, "were buried within
+the inclosure on the island, beneath the shade of the sacred hollies;
+they were laid with their feet towards each other, and smooth stones
+with outlines of medival crosses were placed over the graves, and there
+they remain to this day. A few stones still indicate the site of the
+hermit's cell, and a considerable mound marks where the tower stood."
+
+The last time I stood beside the little pier on Loch Maree, I noticed
+many indications of the advent of southern tourists. Empty bottles were
+floating on the waves, and the tiny steamer that plies on the loch was
+getting ready for the summer traffic. Visitors from the Lowlands do not
+suspect that such tales as I have narrated still live on the lips of the
+Gairloch natives, and help to pass the hours at many an evening reunion.
+How the centuries meet in such nooks of Ross! Steamers on Loch Maree,
+and Olaf's cross still standing on the hermit's isle! The driver of the
+mail-coach from Achnasheen to Gairloch will discuss creeds and schisms
+with you, and tell you he does not believe in modern religious
+developments at all; anon, as the coach passes the Gairloch Church, he
+will point with extended whip to a grassy hollow on the left, and say:
+"That is where the Free Church used to have its open-air Communion
+Service: the place is called _Leabaidh na Ba Bhine_, because Fingal
+scooped it out as a bed where his white cow might calve." "But did
+Fingal lodge in this neighbourhood?" you ask. "Oh yes, he did whatever,"
+the driver will reply, "and the best proof of it is, that if you go to
+the north end of Loch Maree, you will see the _sweetheart's
+stepping-stones_, placed there by Fingal to keep his feet dry when he
+went that way to court Malvina."
+
+
+A LAIRD WHO HAD SEEN A FAIRY.
+
+Bailie Nicol Jarvie, whom we all know so well, confessed that when he
+heard the wild stories of the North, he felt his blood tingle and his
+pulses leap. This fact, which as a sober man of business he felt bound
+to apologize for, was probably due to heredity, his mother having been a
+Macgregor. The Bailie lived at a time when rumours of witchcraft and
+fairydom were more common than now, and when there was less
+dissemination of Scripture truth. It is a saying in some parts of the
+North that the profuse spread of the Shorter Catechism has been the
+means of driving witches and fairies out of their old haunts. For my own
+part, I know of nothing more likely to make them decamp.[28]
+
+I was lucky enough to meet a gentleman who declared, not with an oath,
+but with a _pretty strong_ asseveration, that he had once seen a fairy.
+It was in a railway train that I knit conversation with him. He was a
+kilted country squire, tall, thin, and soulful: on his head was a
+glengarry with a pair of flying ribbons. He spoke in rapt sentences, as
+if he were looking on a vision. This is the substance of his remarks:--
+
+ One autumn morning, when the world lay fair
+ Under the radiant blue, I musing lay
+ By a green knoll, beside a rippling bay,
+ When, suddenly, gliding through the silent air,
+ A green-clad apparition, wrinkled, spare,
+ Angry, and grieving, passed along the way
+ Before me for a moment's space. The fay
+ Was old and did not see me lying there.
+ I grieved to see her sob in fretful mood,
+ And often since I marvel in my mind
+ What grievous heart-pang drove her from the wood
+ To ease her heart away from her own kind.
+ Strange, that these tiny, soulless beings should,
+ Like us, be grieved and be with passion blind!
+
+These are the words of a man who speaks with conviction. I ought to
+mention that, ecclesiastically (and I hope in other ways, too,) he was a
+Moderate. Two things annoyed him greatly: (1) that the fairy did not
+deign to look at him; (2) that nobody but his little grand-daughter of
+eight would believe he had seen a fairy at all. "Why," he said, "I could
+draw that fairy now, if I had pencil and paper. I see her as plain as I
+see you. _Her little bosom was heaving, and she wore a necklace of
+twisted corn-stalks. I am sorry I did not offer her some refreshment._"
+
+ [28] A very similar account is given, of the dearth of the little
+ folk in England, by the poet Chaucer; only, that eminent writer
+ declares that the phenomenon is due to the zeal and prayers of
+ the monks and begging-friars, who paced about the country
+ muttering blessings and exorcistic paragraphs.
+
+
+TALES FROM LOCH BROOM.
+
+The enquirer will find a specially abundant crop of old stories if he
+stays long on Loch Broom side. The bard of Ullapool, Mr. Roderick
+Mackenzie, has made an excellent collection of romantic incidents
+associated with the neighbourhood, and has told them in a very quaint
+and effective fashion. From his collection I now cite a specimen or two.
+I by no means recommend them as reading for the small hours of the
+morning.
+
+
+THE DANCE OF DEATH.
+
+Three young fellows belonging to Strathmore, in the parish of Loch
+Broom, were returning from the Low Country, where they had been living
+for some time. It was long before the days of Watt and Macadam; roads
+were not good, progress was slow, and rain was frequent. When they, in
+the final lap of their journey, arrived at the green hillside of
+Lochdrom, the weather was extremely inclement. Seeing a commodious
+shieling on the braeface, the young men entered, and one of them, with
+the object of driving dull care away, struck up a lightsome tune on his
+pipes. His two comrades at once began to fling their legs about and
+caper merrily. Soon, having succeeded in dancing themselves dry, they
+all agreed that female partners would be a great acquisition. The wish
+was at once gratified. Three women mysteriously glided into the
+shieling, and the dancing began in earnest. One of the women stood close
+by the piper, while the other two skipped about, with their partners,
+all round the building. Outside it thundered and lightened in terrific
+fashion. Tired and sweating, the two couples were at length fain to
+stop, and they sat down to rest on seats of turf and heather. The piper
+stopped too: he felt some malign influence coming over him; he was
+certain some devilish deed was a-doing. Stealing a glance at his two
+friends, he perceived that they were both stark dead, and that the two
+infernal huzzies were smiling a hideous smile of triumph. Action, he
+felt, was immediately necessary: he flung the still groaning bagpipes
+full in the face of the witch near him, stunned her thus for an instant,
+and with one wild leap cleared the threshold. And now began a hot race
+and hot pursuit. Like another Tam o' Shanter, but without the mare, the
+piper sped over the moor and through the rain, plying a foot as good as
+wings. Not till they came in sight of the clachan of Fasagrianach, did
+the witches relinquish the chase. The exhausted piper had a sad tale to
+tell to the mothers of his two hapless friends. Next day a company of
+mourners went to the scene of the infernal dance, and, amid much
+mourning, they sang a weird wail with the sad refrain, _Airidh mo
+Dhubhaich_, which, being interpreted, means "Shieling of my Sorrow."
+
+Let me give another tale, but of less sombre issue, culled from the
+folk-lore of the same locality.
+
+
+THE KILDONAN MIDWIFE.
+
+A woman living at Kildonan, on the north shore of Little Loch Broom, and
+exercising the useful profession of howdie, or midwife, had been
+summoned to attend a case at Keppoch. She did not arrive at her
+destination, although she left home after telling her neighbours where
+she was going. It was on Christmas eve that Fair Sarah, as she was
+called, left Kildonan, and for the space of an entire year, not a word,
+good or bad, was heard of her. Search parties were organized, but all to
+no purpose. Exactly twelve months after her disappearance--the next
+Christmas eve, namely--back came the errant midwife to her home, not a
+hair the worse for her long absence. She was immensely astonished to
+find she had been so long away, her own impression being that only an
+hour or two had elapsed. It was evident to all the natives of Kildonan
+that Fair Sarah had been among the fairies, in whose company, as every
+one knows, months and years slip past as quickly as hours and days.
+Sarah was asked to speak out and tell her experiences. "It seems to me,"
+said the flustered howdie, "that it was but last night that I left for
+Keppoch. Just as I passed the White Knoll, between Strathmore and
+Strathbeg, I came upon a company of little folk, who would have me with
+them, right reason or none. I accepted their hospitality, and what
+drinking, skipping, revelry, and glee my eyes beheld! At last I grew
+sick of their cantrips and capers. Remembering I was a Christian and a
+communicant, _I blessed myself in the name of the Glorious Trinity_,
+with the result that I was unceremoniously bundled out of the place."
+
+The White Knoll had long had the repute of harbouring fairies; Sarah's
+experiences put the matter beyond all doubt. That worthy female
+continued to ply her vocation for many years after, with unvarying
+dexterity and signal success. She was certainly a more prosperous woman
+after her year's excursion into Fairy-land.
+
+
+THE MAGIC HERRING.
+
+There is an interesting legend told of the device by which shoals of
+herring were first induced to come into Loch Broom.
+
+It seems that long ago (the precise date is unessential) the lochs round
+the island of Lewis were invariably, at the herring season, visited by
+magnificent shoals of fish, while not a tail was ever seen to twinkle in
+the spacious waters of Loch Broom. Abundance on one side of the Minch,
+destitution (for no earthly or apparent reason) on the other! After
+mature consideration, the dwellers by Loch Broom came to the conclusion
+that the anomaly could only be explained by the malignant operation of
+the Lews witches. Query: How best neutralise the spells of these partial
+harridans? A remedy, both unique and effective, was at length devised. A
+silver herring was made and given into the hands of a sturdy crew, who
+set sail with it over the water to Lewis. On arriving there, the men
+partook of an adequate amount of refreshment, let down the silver fish
+(attached to a cord) among the jostling shoals in one of the lochs, and
+then, with the metallic animal trailing in the sea behind them, they
+turned the prow of the boat in the direction of home. The ruse was
+successful beyond all belief: glimmering clouds of phosphorence followed
+through the seas below in the wake of the boat and its silver lure.
+Under the stars of night, in all the rapture of excitement and success,
+the Loch Broom fishers led the droves of herring right up to the
+farthest reach of their loch. The metallic herring was then allowed to
+sink to the bottom: there it remains, and so long as it is there, an
+abundant harvest of the deep will be the portion of the resourceful
+toilers of these shores. Perhaps I ought to mention that the famous boat
+which did the feat was painted black on one side and red on the other. I
+am not sufficiently versed in the niceties of _grammarye_ to be able to
+render a reason for this piebald device.
+
+Of late years, as I have been told, the prosperity of Ullapool is not as
+high as it was. Can it be that the Lews witches are at their old tricks
+again? Or has the silver herring been borne, by the wash of retreating
+surges, out into the Hebridean deep. Every visitor who walks through the
+sea-facing, white-washed little town, must be struck by the silence of
+the streets and the utter lack of business animation.
+
+
+TAISCH.
+
+The most interesting place in the island of Skye is, beyond question,
+the neighbourhood of Dunvegan. It was of surly, superstitious,
+loyal-hearted Samuel Johnson that I chiefly thought when I leapt out of
+the trap that landed me at the Hotel of Dunvegan, for I had just been
+reading his famous _Journey_, with its diverting remarks on
+second-sight. It would not, I confess, have surprised me over much, in
+my tired and wind-beaten condition, to see the Doctor and the Auchinleck
+laird, walking arm in arm along the road. I should have put it down to a
+kind of inverted _taisch_, certainly to nothing stronger.
+
+It may surprise many southerners to know that the belief in _taisch_ is
+not by any means extinct. I have met educated Skyemen who firmly
+believed in the mysterious visual gifts of the seventh son of a seventh
+son. In old days, the Highlanders were wont to attribute the gift to
+none but those of an austere and devout cast, who, living a solitary
+life in the eye of nature, were thought to be specially prepared for
+receiving supernatural impressions. I am afraid the vast majority of
+_taisch_ tales are dreadful nonsense. Mr. MacCulloch, in his recent work
+on Skye, has usefully summarized the various types of second-sight as
+expounded by the very credulous Macleod of Hamera: (1) The seer is aware
+of a phantom winding-sheet enwrapping the doomed person; (2) he may see
+the corpse of some one still in life; (3) he may behold a drowning or
+accidental death; (4) he may hear noises as of a coffin being hammered;
+(5) he may see a living person dwindle to the size of a child, and anon
+expand to normal bulk. As Johnson remarks, many of the seers declared
+themselves poignantly afflicted by what they saw. Aubrey tells of a
+clairvoyant who asked the presbytery to pray that the gift (or curse)
+might be taken away. Instant prayer removed the obsession.
+
+The extraordinary futility and droll language of the sentences uttered
+by some of the seers are very mirth-provoking. Here are one or two
+prophecies of the Brahan Seer:--
+
+ "The heir of the Mackenzies will take
+ A white rook out of the wood,
+ And will take a wife from a music-house
+ With his people against him.
+ And the heir will be great
+ In deeds, and as an orator,
+ When the Pope in Rome
+ Will be cast off his throne,
+ Over opposite Creagh-a'-chon
+ Will dwell a little lean tailor," etc.
+
+The following is excellent: "_When the big-thumbed sheriff-officer and
+the blind man of the twenty-four fingers shall be together in Barra,
+Macneill may be making ready for the flitting._" It is said that the
+same seer prophesied thus of the Strathpeffer wells: "The day will come
+when this disagreeable spring, with thick-crusted surface and unpleasant
+smell, shall be put under lock and key, so great will be the crowd of
+people pressing to drink the waters."
+
+Belief in clairvoyance and prophecy was quite common among the Lowland
+Covenanters; and I believe _Peden's Prophecies_ may still be found among
+the lumber of the book-shops. An old lady, in Irvine, once repeated to
+me the following couplet, as having been uttered by Peden:--
+
+ "Between Segton and the sea
+ A bloody battle there shall be."
+
+Now, as Segton is the old name for Kilwinning, it would seem that the
+locale of the battle (probably, as the lady, indeed, thought, the battle
+of Armageddon) will be _in the immediate neighbourhood of the site at
+present occupied by Nobell's Dynamite Factory_.
+
+
+ANTIQUITIES OF DUNVEGAN.
+
+_Taisch_ has taken me a long way from Dunvegan, of which I meant to say
+something. No souvenir is to me more delicious than that of some days
+spent there, on one of which I visited the fine old castle of the
+Macleods, stablished on its rocks, and filled with romance from base to
+topmost turret. On the landward side are lawns, flowers, and abundance
+of eye-gladdening leafage, while, seaward, there is the unspeakable
+glory of isle-dotted loch and distant sea. By the kindness of Macleod of
+Macleod (you must not call that grand and most genial gentleman by any
+more garish title: he is _the_ Macleod; he typifies the clan--that is
+his highest glory), I visited the delightful old castle and saw every
+room, relic, and dirk of importance. What gave me the most pleasure was
+the illuminating commentary of Macleod himself and of his charming
+daughters. One cannot hear the history of some of the rooms without a
+feeling of terror. In the drawing-room of the castle (the room now used
+for prayers, and well it may be,) a horrible outrage was planned to take
+place by Black Ian, a usurping chief. The atrocious deed happened in the
+middle of the sixteenth century, and was due to Ian's fear that the
+Campbells, who had landed with a large force in Skye, would expel him
+from Dunvegan castle. Ian, pretending that he wished to discuss terms,
+invited eleven of the leading Campbells to a banquet. At table, Macleods
+and Campbells were seated side by side; and, at a given signal, which
+consisted in placing a cup of blood in front of each guest, all the
+Campbells were simultaneously stabbed to death, each Macleod
+exterminating his man. I was glad to get out of that drawing-room.
+
+The main relics in the castle are: (1) The Fairy Flag; (2) Rory Mor's
+Drinking-horn; and (3) the Dunvegan Cup.
+
+It is not as well known as it should be that one of the medival chiefs
+of the Macleods married a fairy. This dainty little woman presented her
+lord with a yellow silk flag, dotted here and there with red spots. The
+virtue of the flag, she told him, resided in its efficacy to save the
+chief of the Macleods on three different occasions. After the third
+employment of the flag, it would flutter away to fairy-land. The flag
+has twice saved a chief out of a particularly awkward predicament, and
+it is still in Dunvegan, though sadly grimed and rent. The present
+chief, who has served his country nobly, is quite fit, in soldierly
+fashion, to grapple single-handed with any difficulty he may encounter;
+but he is in hopes that the flag may yield its residual virtue to the
+contentment of some one or other of his successors.
+
+Rory Mor's drinking-horn, which could contain, I should think, between
+two and three bottles of wine, is an interesting indication of
+pre-Reformation thirst. Of old, each chief as he came of age, was
+expected to drink off its contents at one draught as a proof that he had
+arrived at years of discretion.
+
+The cup is made of dark wood, and is finely adorned with silver work. It
+is dated 1493, and contains a Latin inscription.
+
+The Fairy Tower in Dunvegan Castle contains the room in which Dr.
+Johnson and Sir Walter Scott slept during their respective visits to the
+castle. The burly lexicographer would have little wind left for
+argument after he had toiled up the steep and narrow spiral stairway
+leading to the room. Formerly, so the smiling chief told me, the young
+lady chosen by the Macleod to be his wife, had to pass a night alone in
+this haunted chamber, in order that the fairies might have an
+opportunity of seeing her, and formally approving the choice.
+
+
+MISCELLANEOUS TERRORS.
+
+He who investigates Celtic demonology will hear a good deal about a
+gruesome and insidious animal called the _Water Horse_. This fell beast,
+though able at need to transform itself into the shape of a human being,
+is normally like a horse, though much bulkier and fiercer. Its usual
+abode is in the deep lochs, but it may occasionally be seen, with wreck
+or sea-weed clinging to its hoof or mane, feeding on the hill-side among
+earthly horses. The detestable feature about the brute is its fondness
+for human beings. There is no hope for any man, woman, or child, who
+gets upon its back: at a furious gallop, the animal bounds off by the
+nearest road to the loch, and leaps under the waves to devour its prey.
+Foals of a specially vicious turn are believed to have this brute for
+their sire: in some such way the furious nature of the horse called
+"Kelpy" in George Macdonald's story might be explained.
+
+Certain lochs in Skye are believed to harbour a variant terror, the
+water-bull. Loch Morar, on the mainland, contains a huge mystic bogie,
+undefined in shape, but of terrible malignity. I have heard too, in
+Uist, of a phantom dog, with eyes of glede and unearthly bark, that
+frequents the entrance to the old wayside burying-ground. No driver,
+unless fortified by several glasses, will drive you that way after dark.
+
+"Duncan," said a commercial traveller to a driver, "I'll have to go to
+Gruiginish farm to-night. Have everything ready at 8.30."
+
+"I can't do that, Mr. Smith; it'll be dark."
+
+"But you have lamps, Duncan."
+
+"Yes, yes, but I can't go. You have to pass the old cemetery."
+
+"I know that, but I must attend to my business. What ails you at the
+cemetery?"
+
+"There's the dog at the gate, the dog with the eyes of burning coal.
+What is he doing there? And the wee man inside, _What is he doing
+there?_"
+
+"I don't know what he's doing, but to Gruiginish this night I must go.
+Do you think a glass of _forked lightning_ would do you any good?"
+
+"Well, it might help."
+
+In spite of more than one glass of forked lightning, poor Duncan was in
+a terrible state of excitement when the cemetery was approached. He kept
+his head averted, and clutched the reins so nervously that the vehicle
+was in imminent danger of being upset.
+
+It is a beautiful saying of Goldsmith that innocently to amuse the
+imagination in this dream of life is wisdom. Judged by this standard,
+the imaginative operations taking place in Duncan's brain, considering
+their effect on his happiness, cannot be pronounced either innocent or
+wise. To add ideal terrors to the prosaic hardships of a place like Uist
+is the very height of folly. And yet it is precisely in such bare and
+rough regions where man has to fight with nature as with a constant
+foe, that the unseen powers are believed to be most terrible. The
+_lutin_ of the smiling land of France is a mere capering trickster, and
+the "lubber fiend" of Milton's poem is pictured as an unpaid adjunct of
+the dairy. Duncan's "wee man up on the hill-side" is a permanent and
+unspeakable horror of the night. "_What is he doing there?_"[29]
+
+ [29] Collins's long _Ode on Popular Superstitions in the
+ Highlands of Scotland_, addressed to Home, author of _Douglas_,
+ contains some excellent rhetorical passages. Speaking of the
+ second-sighted seer, Collins represents him as one who
+
+ "In the _depth of Uist's dark forest_ dwells."
+
+ We may say of Uist what Lord Rosebery said of Caithness, that it
+ is _entirely delivered from the contaminating influence of
+ foliage_. The air one breathes there does not suffer
+ deterioration by coming through any such _dark forest_ as Collins
+ mentions: it blows from the Atlantic in an absolutely pure and
+ strong condition.
+
+
+ST. KILDA.
+
+St. Kilda, the lonely and precipitous island, forty miles west of Lewis,
+which Boswell at one time thought of buying, has now, like so many other
+islands of the West, a well-furnished library from Paisley. I hope the
+minister of the place encourages the reading of the books, and does
+everything in his power to broaden the religious views of the people by
+healthy secular literature. A luckless inspector of schools crossed over
+once to examine the school of this island. His boat arrived late on
+Saturday, and was to leave again early on Monday. To suit his own
+convenience, the greatly-daring official proposed to examine the
+scholars on Sunday. Never was their such indignation among the
+islanders. What! examine the school on the first day of the week! Did
+the unhappy man wish the wrath of Heaven to fall in fire and brimstone
+on the island? The inspector was angrily hooted and denounced. Still, as
+he must needs return by his steamer, the islanders agreed to send their
+children immediately after Sunday was over, _i.e._, _the bairns were
+assembled at midnight_, and parts of speech were bandied about then in
+the visible darkness of the tiny school.
+
+St. Kilda belongs to the Macleod, and every spring the factor goes over
+to collect the rents. All winter the island is isolated, and has no
+outer news save, perhaps, from some stray Aberdeen trawler. For twenty
+years the factor went over in a sailing-boat belonging to the chief, but
+by some mishap, in which no lives were lost, this boat was
+ill-manoeuvred and, with sails full-set, was engulfed in a whirlpool.
+He now goes over in the steamer.
+
+The first question propounded to the factor is this: "_Has there been
+war anywhere, my dear?_" If the answer is "Yes," a great joy is visible
+on every face. "_That's good, that's good: tell us all about it._"
+Having heard all about the war, the natives show an eagerness for
+sweets, of which they are inordinately fond.
+
+The natives are expert cragsmen, and much of their time is occupied in
+collecting birds' feathers. The oil of the solan goose is also a source
+of wealth. Rough tweeds are now woven in many of the houses. The factor
+informed me that, for some unknown reason, everything that comes from
+the island is impregnated with a heavy odour that is most disagreeable.
+Means have been tried to neutralise this smell, but success is only for
+a time: by and by the odour returns, as bad as ever, to fabric and
+feather. Merchants, both at home and abroad, are loath to purchase such
+unfragrant wares.
+
+In Dunvegan Castle are to be seen several of the little letter-boats
+employed by the St. Kildeans to convey news to Scotland in the winter
+months. The tide is watched, and the letter-boat cast into the sea.
+Usually the message is washed ashore on some part of the Long Island.
+Natural superstition supplements, in a small degree, the lack of mails:
+when the islanders, for example, hear _the notes of the cuckoo_, they
+are convinced that the Macleod is dead. Happily the cuckoo is rarely
+heard breaking the silence of the seas so far west.
+
+
+LADY GRANGE.
+
+To this day there are in the possession of the Macleod family certain
+old accounts of the years 1744 and 1745, that recall one of the most
+diabolical and continuous pieces of cruelty recorded in history. I refer
+to the accounts paid in these years to the Laird of Macleod for the
+board and burial of Lady Grange. No one who knows the history of that
+ill-fated lady can look at these time-stained documents without a
+knocking of the seated heart at the ribs.
+
+Everyone who has enjoyed the light and graceful poetry of Ovid, has
+sighed over the relegation of that city man to the barbarous horrors of
+the Black Sea. As Gibbon exquisitely phrases it: "The tender Ovid,
+after a youth spent in the enjoyment of wealth and luxury, was condemned
+to a hopeless exile on the frozen banks of the Danube, where he was
+exposed without remorse to those fierce denizens of the desert with
+whose stern spirits he feared that his gentle shade might hereafter be
+confounded." The banishment of Lady Grange to St. Kilda, in 1734, by her
+rascally husband, is to me fully as pathetic as Ovid's expatriation to
+Tomi. She, a refined and beautiful woman, the light of Edinburgh
+drawing-rooms, was hustled off to a lonely rock and left remorselessly
+to pine there amid the squalls. Let me briefly summarise this affecting
+history.
+
+Lord Grange, a Scottish judge of strong Jacobite leanings, was known by
+his Lady to be concerned in a plot, along with Lovat, Mar, and others,
+to bring back the Pretender. This was in the year 1730. Stung in her
+wifely pride by her husband's ill-treatment and licentiousness, she
+openly threatened to expose his treason. To prevent such exposure,
+Grange caused his wife to be kidnapped and clandestinely conveyed first
+to a small island off North Uist, and subsequently to St. Kilda. In the
+latter island, no one could speak any English except the catechist, and
+here for seven years this polished society dame lived amid the blasts
+and the screaming ocean-fowl, lacking even the privilege, which Ovid
+enjoyed, of sending letters to child or friend. In 1741, when the
+catechist left the island, she made him bearer of letters to her
+law-agent, Hope of Rankeillor. Hope fitted out a sloop, with twenty-five
+armed men on board, and set out for St. Kilda to rescue the lady.
+Macleod, who was, of course, privy to her detention, at once removed her
+to Skye, and Hope's expedition came to nothing. The poor woman, worn out
+with sorrow and suffering, died in 1745, a helpless imbecile!
+
+The story, which throws a lurid light on the savagery of the eighteenth
+century, and which, to my thinking, surpasses in pathos anything
+occurring in fiction, was long disbelieved. But it was only too true. It
+is said that ill-luck pursued the lady even after death, and that her
+funeral was a miserable parody. A coffin filled with stones and turf was
+interred, before a large crowd, in the churchyard of Duirinish, the real
+remains being, with maimed rites or none at all, secretly buried
+elsewhere.
+
+It is noteworthy that Lady Grange died in 1745, the year when Prince
+Charlie's hopes were shattered on Culloden Moor. Like her, he too had
+the ill-luck to be a hopeless wanderer in the Misty Isle.
+
+
+PIERLESS TIREE.
+
+I regret to say that I did not stay long enough in the island of Tiree
+to add to my store of legends, and yet, I went there with a capacious
+note-book and excellent intentions. What is more, I read from beginning
+to end, Dr. Erskine Beveridge's detailed book on the island, and could
+have passed an examination on semi-brochs, rock-forts, marsh duns,
+islet-forts, sandhill dwellings, and prehistoric burial-sites. I steeped
+myself so thoroughly in the _minutiae_ of pre-Reformation churches, that
+I almost forgot to go to the modern ones. Tiree took hold of me
+completely, and so did the Norse invaders of the Hebrides--men like
+Ketil Flatnose, Magnus Barelegs, Hako, and Somerled. I got a pocket map
+arranged for my own use (copied from Dr. Beveridge's large one) with a
+red cross at all the sites of ancient forts. It was my fond hope, for
+pride attends us still, that I might find some inaccuracy in Dr.
+Beveridge's book, and, from measurements on the spot, be able to
+contradict some of his statements. But what are the hopes of man! I did
+not know that predestination, in the form of dirty weather, was working
+against me, and was about to quench all my interest in _duns_. On
+September 5th, 1907, I determined to take Dr. Beveridge's measurements
+for granted.
+
+On that day, in fact, I was for some time under the impression that my
+last lecture had been delivered. It was on the way between Coll and
+Tiree. The gale was a furious one and, combined with the greasy odours
+of the _Fingal_, was enough to sicken a practised seafarer. I did notice
+that some of the crew were prostrated, so that there was some excuse for
+a landsman not being proof against Neptune's dandling. So low, exposed,
+and precarious is the shore at Scarinish, that, often for weeks, the
+ferrymen dare not venture out to the steamer for passengers. I asked one
+of the _Fingal_ men if there was any chance of being landed. He was a
+cruel cynic, and said: "No, not to-day. The sea is too wild for the
+ferry to come out. We'll go right across to Bunessan in Mull, so prepare
+for three more hours' shaking. You won't forget the _Dutchman's Cap_
+for the rest of your life." Then with a remark addressed to the
+Creator, he added: "_There's the ferryboat after all; she's racing over
+the water like a stag._"
+
+He was right: the lugsail was careering out to us and came alongside at
+length, and, after fearful trouble, got fastened to the _Fingal_.
+Sometimes the ferryboat was even with our deck, sometimes far above it,
+sometimes fifteen feet below. It looked like certain death to leap into
+that lugsail.
+
+I hesitated, and shouted to the captain: "Is it safe to jump?"
+
+He replied, "I wish to Tophet I had the chance."
+
+I watched for the next opportunity of the ferryboat and the _Fingal_
+being approximately on the same plane, and leaped into the arms of a
+boatman.
+
+Other passengers followed,--men, women, even babies. Then came the
+mails; and finally, live stock. I remember being struck on the mouth by
+a sheep heaved into the boat by the above-mentioned cynic. "Come, come,
+that's enough, keep the rest; let us be off," shouted a boatman.
+Everybody was wet to the skin: the wind was howling; the women weeping;
+and the babies were mixed up with the sheep.
+
+Once clear of the _Fingal_, the adroit ferrymen did their duty well, and
+in less than ten minutes we were all landed. A crowd of islanders were
+waiting to lift us out. All agreed that it had been a _close shave_.
+
+Such was my introduction to _Pierless Tiree_.
+
+I did not stay long enough in the island to measure brochs, but quite
+long enough to experience the good-will and kindliness of the natives.
+The houses are solid and substantial, the inhabitants strong and
+muscular. Great gales from the Atlantic blow almost continually, sweep
+up the sand in clouds, and prevent any trees from taking root. I did not
+see much poverty with my own eyes, but the ministers all assured me
+there was a great deal. Maize, more than oatmeal, is the cereal used for
+porridge. For supplementary information, Dr. Beveridge's admirable and
+accurate work may be consulted.
+
+
+LOCHBUIE IN MULL.
+
+The great straggling island of Mull, so full of scenery, romance, and
+song, still awaits its historian. Few, who have ever visited the noble
+isle, will refuse to say with Macphail, the bard of Torosay:
+
+ "O the island of Mull is an isle of delight
+ With the wave on the shore and the sun on the height,
+ And the breeze on the hills and the blast on the Bens,
+ And the old green woods and the old grassy glens."
+
+The gem of the island is undoubtedly the haven of Lochbuie, one of the
+choicest nooks in insular Scotland. The modern mansion, which is but a
+step or two from the well-preserved castle of olden times, is quite near
+the shore, and looks straight south over the Atlantic to the island of
+Colonsay. The entire surroundings are a delight to the eye: great
+towering mountains behind, the sea in front, and in the space between,
+green lawns, rocks, gorse, and many-tinted garden-plots.
+
+The MacLaines of Lochbuie trace their descent from the great Gillean of
+the Battle-axe, a redoubtable warrior who flourished his weapon to some
+purpose in the reign of Alexander III. But the most notorious of all
+the MacLaines is _Ewen of the Little Head_, who died in battle, and
+thereafter assumed the rle of family ghost. Before the death of any of
+his race, this phantom-warrior gallops along the sea-beach near the
+castle, announcing the event by cries and loud lamentations. The doctor,
+who attended the present chief's mother, declares that, while sitting
+beside her bed during the silent watches of the night, he heard the
+noise of the spectral horse just before the old lady's decease. The
+natives of Mull can describe the ghost and horse with accurate detail.
+The horse is a small, hardy, sure-footed animal of brown colour, and
+Ewen is known by the smallness of his head, and by a long floating
+mantle of green. He performed a weird and long-continued gallop round
+the bay in 1815, before the news of the valiant Sir Archibald MacLaine's
+death became known by official despatch from the seat of war.
+
+Lochbuie, like so many other places in Scotland, has its Piper's Cave.
+There is a remarkable similarity in all such tales--diversified,
+however, by quaint local additions. MacLaine's piper, a foolhardy man,
+determined once to test the allegation that a certain cave on Lochbuie
+was connected with another cave at Pennygown on the Sound of Mull.
+Attired in his official costume and having his dog at his heels, he
+entered the cave, blowing his pipes triumphantly. Those above, on the
+hills, were able to make out his line of passage by the sound of the
+music. At a certain point the pipes ceased, and nevermore did the piper
+come up to the shores of light. The dog got to the cave of Pennygown--a
+limp and hairless parody of its former self.
+
+Browning, in his "Pied Piper of Hamelin," has but poetised one version
+of a world-wide tale. Often, in the Highland tales, it is money the
+piper is after. There is a deep cave near Melvaig, in Wester Ross, into
+which a piper is said to have led a band of men in search of gold, and
+never returned. In this case the pipe-music is said to have continued
+for years--some natives even asserting that it may be heard still by
+those who have ears to hear.
+
+In spite of all the legendary lore connected with the family of the
+MacLaines, the chief interest of Lochbuie for a lover of literature,
+centres round the visit of Boswell and Johnson. In one of the rooms of
+the castle there is a fine portrait of Johnson. On looking at it, my
+mind reverted to the amusing question addressed to the sage by the
+"bluff, comely, noisy old gentleman" who was the laird of Lochbuie in
+1773: "Are you of the Johnstons of Glencro or of Ardnamurchan?" "Dr.
+Johnson," says Boswell, "gave him a significant look, but made no
+answer; and I told Lochbuie that he was not Johnston, but Johnson, and
+that he was an Englishman."
+
+I regret to say that the great war saddle, which was in Lochbuie's
+possession in 1773, and which Boswell did not see because the young
+laird had taken it to Falkirk with a drove of black cattle, is no longer
+in the island: somebody took it to America, and forgot to bring it
+back.
+
+The present laird is greatly beloved by his tenantry. At the lecture I
+gave at Lochbuie, he was unable, owing to illness, to take the chair.
+His absence was a terrible grief to the people, and the piper of the
+family, in a brief speech, alluded in a most touching way to the sorrow
+felt by all present.[30]
+
+
+INVERARAY CASTLE.
+
+Three days after Johnson and his friend left Lochbuie, they were
+entertained by the Duke of Argyll in Inveraray Castle. Boswell's
+description of the incidents of this visit is one of his finest efforts.
+He tells us that Johnson admired the "utter defiance of expense" shown
+by the Duke in the building and appointments of the place. Records exist
+which show that the masons were paid at the rate of 4d. a day,
+_plus_ a weekly bonus of meal!
+
+It is interesting to note that the Rev. John Macaulay (grandfather of
+Lord Macaulay) was one of the ministers of Inveraray in 1773. Boswell
+gives him a very high character, but this had no emollient effect on the
+great historian, when he came to review _Croker's Edition of Boswell's
+Johnson_.
+
+Inveraray Castle is a superb object-lesson in Scotch history. All the
+Campbells of note for centuries past are hanging on the walls, from the
+old Duke who passed away last, to the squinting Marquis (_Gleed Argyll_
+mentioned in the "Bonnie House o' Airlie"), who was beheaded on the
+Castle Hill of Edinburgh in 1661. The Duke, who commanded at Sheriffmuir
+("when we ran and they ran, and they ran and we ran," etc.) is standing
+in his accoutrements of pride, painted by the son of Allan Ramsay:
+
+ "Argyll the State's whole thunder, born to wield
+ And shake alike the Senate and the Field."
+
+Medival armour, firelocks from Culloden, flags from a score of
+battlefields, mutely suggest the glory and gore of the olden times. It
+is impossible to walk through the rooms of such a place without feeling
+intimately in touch with the events of the past.
+
+The present hotel is the one in which Johnson and his biographer lodged.
+Burns came sixteen years later, and wrote on the pane of his bedroom
+window the scandalous epigram on Inveraray so often quoted. The present
+Duke (who has perpetrated a fair amount of poetry himself) would give
+much of his odd cash to recover that pane, which was cut out some years
+ago by a pilfering visitor.[31]
+
+ [30] I am inclined to think that the relationship formerly
+ existing between the Highland chief and the member of his clan
+ was perfect in its way--a _model_ of class relationship. There
+ was nothing menial about the clansman's attitude, though he gave
+ unbounded homage to his lord. At the battle of Inverkeithing, a
+ clansman and his seven sons gave up their lives to shield from
+ death their chieftain, Sir Hector Maclean. As the old man saw his
+ boys fall one after the other, he shouted with glee and pride,
+ "_Another for Sir Hector!_" until he himself lay, like a true
+ thane, beside his progeny. Nothing could be finer or more
+ touching than such a scene.
+
+ [31] Burns tells us that when in Inveraray Hotel, he was entirely
+ neglected by the servants, who gave all their attention to some
+ gentlemen from the Castle. In our day, the Campbells have shown
+ contrition by their willingness to admit that Burns was one of
+ their own clan. Burns's ancestors were, it is said, Campbells of
+ Taynuilt. Taynuilt means in English, Burnhouse. When the poet's
+ ancestors emigrated to Forfarshire, they were known as _Campbells
+ from Burnhouse_. In course of time the appellation was shortened
+ into Burnhouse simply, and latterly into Burness or
+ Burns.--Q.E.D.
+
+
+THE SACRED ISLE.
+
+Wordsworth came to Iona (which also belongs to the Argyll family) in
+1833, and wrote four poor sonnets on the sacred isle. This is what he
+saw:
+
+ "To each voyager
+ Some ragged child holds up for sale a store
+ Of wave-worn pebbles, pleading on the shore
+ Where once came monk and nun with gentle stir."
+
+Owing to its ecclesiastical renown as the cradle of Christianity in
+Britain, no island is so much visited as Iona. The audience I addressed
+was the most miscellaneous I have ever seen: there were boatmen and
+barristers, anglers and artists, curates and crofters, French and
+Germans.
+
+The present-day natives seem desirous of keeping up the old reputation
+for theology. The boatman who ferries visitors ashore, remarked to me
+with pride that his favourite book was one entitled _The Great
+Controversy between God and the Devil_, a book with which I was, and am
+still, unacquainted.
+
+Dr. Johnson's remarks on Iona remain the most eloquent tribute to the
+island. He never wrote anything finer. All the children in the Iona
+school should be made to learn the piece by heart.[32]
+
+It is most gratifying to think that Christianity has been the great
+purifying force in Europe. The introduction of Christianity into the
+world must be reckoned as the most revolutionary event of history.
+Nothing was ever more needed. To one who knows the morality of the most
+brilliant society of the Greeks and Romans, there is no need to extol
+the pure and lofty moral tone of Jesus of Nazareth. But those who have
+not read the masterpieces of ancient art, with their mingled beauty and
+foulness, may be assured that literature owes more to Christianity than
+has ever yet been told. With Christianity a great healthy breeze swept
+over the world. Men became ashamed of wallowing in the mire. An ideal
+was raised up before them for their worship and imitation. The old Adam
+and his deeds needed stern repression after the wild iniquities of the
+effete society of imperial Rome. The spirit needed to curb the flesh,
+literature needed to be cleansed. We, living to-day and nursed on the
+accumulated tradition of so many anterior Christian centuries, are
+sometimes disposed to minimise the debt we owe, in pure and simple
+morality, to the teachings of the New Testament. I find it impossible to
+imagine what the world would be without these teachings. They renewed
+the world, they made it do penance for its sins, they made advance
+practicable. An entirely retrograde movement is impossible when once man
+is indoctrinated with a grand ideal.
+
+ [32] Boswell's religious instincts come well out in his account
+ of the visit to Iona. Two of his descendants, Messrs. Albert and
+ James Boswell, devoted themselves entirely to religion, and were
+ well known in Ayrshire, thirty years ago, as zealous evangelists.
+ These two gentlemen went on a preaching campaign through the
+ northern islands, and did much highly appreciated philanthropic
+ and religious work there. They were members of the sect called
+ Plymouth Brethren.
+
+
+APPIN.
+
+In this chapter (as, indeed, in all the others) I am rummaging among my
+souvenirs for materials that are in some way noteworthy. It is utterly
+impossible to exhaust the romance and glamour of the Highlands. Those
+who go regularly North are certain to bring back, on each occasion, a
+host of interesting memories. "Swift as a weaver's shuttle fly our
+years": the chief difficulty is to jot down all that one sees and hears.
+
+On the occasion of my second visit to Appin, I stayed in the fine new
+hotel built on the eminence called Druim-an-t-Sealbhain. The landlord is
+a man of great wit and reading, and with him I had some enjoyable hours
+of miscellaneous conversation. Mr. Macdonald (for that is his name) has
+an excellent knowledge of the Celtic dialects, has translated into
+Gaelic verse some of the best-known poems of Burns, Tannahill, and
+Byron, and is extremely clever at retailing the legendary tales that
+still go rumouring along the Strath of Appin. He has also a good
+knowledge of English literature, and told me certain details regarding
+Scott and Wordsworth which I was pleased to know.
+
+It seems that Sir Walter was at one time tutor in Appin House, and was
+in the habit of visiting the cot of an old shepherd, a notorious
+_seanachie_, full of romantic lore, for the purpose of hearing, and
+writing down, the old man's tales. An oak tree is still pointed out,
+under which, it is said, Scott composed part of _The Lord of the Isles_.
+Appin is not very far from the castles of Dunollie and Dunstaffnage,
+which Sir Walter wrought skilfully into the texture of his tales.
+
+The most interesting item mentioned by Mr. Macdonald had reference to
+the visit of William Wordsworth and his sister Dorothy, in the year
+1803. Everyone who has read the life of the great poet of Nature knows
+the charming description of the district contained in one of his
+sister's letters. "We arrived," she says, "at Port-na-croish. It is a
+small village--a few huts and an indifferent inn, by the side of the
+loch; ordered a fowl for dinner, had a fire lighted, and went a few
+steps from the door up the road, and turning aside into a field, stood
+at the top of a low eminence, from which, looking down the loch to the
+sea through a long vista of hills and mountains, _we beheld one of the
+most delightful prospects that, even when we dream of fairer worlds than
+this, it is possible to conceive in our hearts_." Here follows a
+description so exquisite of the sea-scenery and the Morven Hills, that
+it deserves to be classed with the finest examples of word-painting in
+the English language.
+
+The new hotel at Appin is built on the low eminence referred to in the
+above-cited letter. The name Druim-an-t-Sealbhain is giving way to the
+complimentary title of "Dorothy Wordsworth's View." From the front
+windows of the hotel, the same calm inland seas, grassy hills, Morven
+mists, grim old forts, and intricate communion of land and water, can be
+seen precisely as they were seen by the Wordsworths more than a century
+ago. The Port-na-croish inn has become a village store: it is well
+worthy of note, not merely for the reference in the letter, but for a
+fine legend, which I shall now narrate.
+
+
+MACDONALD'S GRATITUDE.
+
+The first tenant of the inn was a Macdonald of Glencoe, a man between
+sixty and seventy at the time of the story, the year 1755 namely. He had
+around him a family of stalwart sons, all imbued with intense hatred of
+the clan Campbell. The peculiar and fiendish malignity of the terrible
+massacre of Glencoe precluded all possibility of forgiveness on the part
+of the clan. Highland hospitality has always been a lavish and
+magnificent thing, and Colonel Campbell and his assassins had been
+treated with exceptional kindness in Glencoe. The bloody outrage, in a
+midnight of winter snows, was too terrible a meed of hospitality to be
+readily forgotten or forgiven by the Macdonalds. This old innkeeper of
+Port-na-croish, then, hated the Campbells with the unquenchable hate
+that deep wrongs, done not alone to an individual but to a tribe,
+engender in the Celtic soul.
+
+One day a white-bearded wayfarer begged food and shelter in the little
+hostel, and in the course of conversation over the meal that was soon
+spread on the board for his wants, he let slip an avowal that, in his
+youth, as one of Campbell's men, he had taken part in the gruesome
+massacre of the "valley of weeping." Without more ado, the landlord
+slipped out and posted his sons at the door, with whispered orders to
+them that the stranger should be dirked to death on crossing the
+threshold of the inn. Returning indoors, old Macdonald, dissimulating
+his fell intentions, proceeded to ply the visitor with question upon
+question, so as to gain a detailed knowledge of all the incidents of the
+weird carnage. Finally he said, "Tell me, Campbell, what part of that
+devilish business made the strongest impression on your mind?" "I will
+tell you," said the old soldier, "what to me was the outstanding
+incident of that night. Towards the close of the massacre, a child's
+voice was heard piercingly on the night air--a scream it was, and seemed
+to come from no great distance. The captain sent me in the direction of
+the sound, bidding me, if the child should be a male Macdonald, to kill
+it forthwith; if a girl, to spare. I soon came up to the place whence
+the sound proceeded, and saw through the whirling snow, under the
+protection of a jutting cliff, a nurse with a boy of four years old,
+both of them wailing and shivering with cold. The child was gnawing a
+bone and, near by, a dog was crouching. Pity wrung my heart. I drove my
+bayonet through the trembling cur, and, going back to the captain,
+showed him the bloody steel as a proof that I had obeyed his commands."
+
+The innkeeper, who had been all ears, said: "You, then, were that
+soldier?" "I was, indeed," replied the old wanderer. "_And I was that
+child!_" said the landlord, "and _your_ life is saved. My sons stand at
+the threshold of the inn, ready to fall upon you when you leave. I
+countermand the order for your destruction. Here you shall stay, an
+honoured guest, till the end of your days, as a recompense for saving my
+life on that awful night."
+
+The story goes on to state that the foot-weary Campbell lived for some
+years a pensioner in Port-na-croish inn, and was buried at the expense
+of the grateful innkeeper. I do not know any story that comes nearer
+perfection.
+
+
+NOTES ON THE TROSSACHS.
+
+The Rev. Mr. Wilson, the cultured and genial minister of the Trossachs,
+has recently published a most readable little book on the district he
+knows so well. Perhaps no district indeed on the world's surface is so
+well known (even to those who have never seen it), as the Trossachs.
+Little did Sir Walter suspect, when he penned the stirring iambics of
+_The Lady of the Lake_, that he was furnishing materials to the
+pedagogue which would be parsed, analysed, and dissected by myriads of
+pupils in all the schools of the British Empire. We shall all carry with
+us to the grave the leading passages of that romantic lay: the
+stag-hunt, the duel at Coilantogle Ford, the whistle that garrisoned the
+glen, and the episode of the Fiery Cross. Such lines, we may say, have
+gone out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world.
+Happening to pass Strathyre station in July, 1907, I was requested by a
+bright-eyed little Japanese gentleman in the compartment to tell him
+where we were. On being informed, he (after casting an eye of pity on
+the deplorable stork that is supposed to decorate the drinking-fountain
+of the station), began to declaim, in capital English, the passage that
+begins--
+
+ "Benledi saw the Cross of Fire,
+ It glanced like lightning up Strathyre,
+ O'er dale and hill the summons flew,
+ Nor rest nor pause young Angus knew;
+ The tear that gathered in his eye
+ He left the mountain breeze to dry."
+
+Mr. Wilson's book to which I have alluded is a collection of the
+impressions written down by eminent visitors to the locality, from
+Dorothy Wordsworth to Queen Victoria. Carlyle, who was in Perthshire in
+1818, wrote the following note, which, though short, is finely
+characteristic of him: "The Trossachs I found really grand and
+impressive, Loch Katrine exquisitely so, my first taste of the beautiful
+in scenery. Not so, any of us, the dirty, smoky farm-hut at the
+entrance, with no provision in it but bad oatcakes and unacceptable
+whisky, or the Mrs. Stewart who somewhat royally presided over it, and
+dispensed these dainties, expecting to be flattered like an
+independency, as well as paid like an innkeeper." The foregoing note, by
+itself, is good value for the cost of Mr. Wilson's book (two shillings,
+namely), and raises regrets that the author of _Sartor_ did not travel
+oftener through the Land of Cakes. (The only other place in the
+Highlands where I have heard Carlyle spoken of, is Kyleakin in Skye,
+where he was the guest of Lady Ashburton, and where (as the natives
+say), the cocks and hens had to be removed out of ear-shot for his
+convenience.)
+
+One of Mr. Wilson's stories (contributed by a lady) is apposite at the
+present time, when so much is being heard of women's rights. Glengyle, a
+district of the Trossachs, was once _entirely ruled_ by a number of
+women, who constituted a sort of High Court with women as Judge and
+Jury. "The most notorious case which they dealt with, and which probably
+led to their downfall through drawing the ridicule of the country upon
+them, was a case of horse-stealing. The accused man had been seen riding
+furiously away on someone else's horse, and all evidence pointed to his
+guilt. To the astonishment of the outsiders, the jury returned a verdict
+of 'not guilty,' and the Judge on summing up declared the horse was the
+culprit, as it had run away with the man. _She condemned the unfortunate
+animal to be hanged, and hanged it was, while the man got off scot
+free._"
+
+
+LOCHFYNE-SIDE.
+
+None of the mainland counties of Scotland can boast of such wonderful
+ramifications of sea and loch as the county of Argyll. The present
+amiable and cultured head of the Clan Campbell declaimed, with great
+applause, at a social gathering not long ago, a fine poem, in which the
+beauties of his ancestral shire were floridly--but not
+unjustly--elaborated. It would be difficult to over-praise the county of
+Argyll, with its splendid sea-board, its rugged and impressive peaks,
+and its unrivalled fiords and lakes. Thanks to its proximity to large
+centres of population, few counties are so much visited. Its fame, in
+our day, is likely to be more widespread than ever, owing to the
+graceful and entertaining writings of Mr. Neil Munro, who probably
+knows the details of its local history better than any man living, and
+who possesses the inimitable art of interesting others in his
+delineations of the past. I confess that I feel, personally, as much
+interest in the Wars of Lorn as I do in the Siege of Sphacteria, and
+that "Glee'd Argyll" seems fully as attractive as Cleon or Brasidas.
+
+Of course, long before Mr. Munro, Loch Fyne had a European reputation,
+which it owed to its herring. The Popes of Rome used to eat these
+herring in medival times, and sent for them _vi_ Amsterdam or Antwerp.
+Orthodox Catholics have always had good judgment in the matter of fish,
+and especially the French, who belong to a country which proudly boasts
+of being _the eldest daughter of the Church_. For many a generation the
+French came annually to Lochgilphead, and bartered their kegs of claret
+for barrels of salt herring. The French Revolution, among its many other
+effects, put a stop to this trade. War lasted for so many years between
+Britain and France, that, at the end of it all, the continental sailors
+had forgotten the way to Loch Fyne.
+
+Argyllshire is rich in legends, for many of which no date can be given
+except the elastic one _long ago_ or _in byegone times_. Let me cite one
+or two of these:--
+
+
+MACIVORS, MACVICARS, AND MACALLISTERS.
+
+On the road to Kilmartin is a place called the Robber's Den, the
+locality of which may be firmly fixed in the tourist's memory by noting
+that it is just behind a large distillery. Here, long ago, lived one
+Macvicar, whose wife was a Macivor. These names are important, and so
+also is that of the Macallisters of Tarbert, who one day stole cattle
+belonging to the Macivors. Mrs. Macvicar noticed these Tarbert
+scoundrels driving her father's cattle through the glen, and mentioned
+the fact to her boy. Young Macvicar followed the robbers, and found them
+in a forest feeding joyously on a slain bullock belonging to his
+grandfather. As each Macallister finished picking a bone, he would throw
+it violently against a big stone, remarking at the same time, with a
+chuckle: "_If a Macivor were here, that's how I would treat him_." The
+boy, from his hiding-place in the foliage, threw a stone and struck one
+of the feasters. The injured man blamed one of his own clansmen, and,
+after much recrimination, a free fight of Macallisters was the result.
+During the mle, the boy slunk off and told his mother's family what
+was happening. The Macivors, in a furious and determined band, soon fell
+upon their disordered foes, and completely routed them and regained
+their cattle, _minus_ the consumed bullock. The chief of the
+Macallisters was slain by a woman, who took off her stocking, placed a
+_large stone therein_, and heaved it at his head. That same night, Mrs.
+Macallister, wife of the chieftain thus ignominiously laid low, gave
+birth, perhaps prematurely, to a son, whom the care of a discriminate
+midwife secreted from the vengeance of the Macivors, who were howling
+all round the house. This child grew up to manhood with the picture of
+the stone-laden stocking ever before his mind's eye. He prepared a most
+effective retaliation: he sent to Ireland and got over a large band of
+Antrim men, who were quite pleased to help him in his bloody projects.
+The Macivors were completely overpowered, and even the Macvicars had a
+taste of Irish steel. Macvicar, father of the boy who distinguished
+himself in the wood, was attacked in his own house. He was an athlete of
+great powers, and was _able to jump thirty feet either in a backward or
+a forward direction_. The Irishmen set fire to his house, and
+Macvicar--hoping, no doubt, to make a final leap for life--tried to
+escape by the chimney. His foes struck him on the knee with a spear: he
+fell into their hands, and was at once despatched.
+
+
+RED HECTOR.
+
+We hear a good deal of the Irish in the traditions of Argyllshire. The
+ruthless Colkitto, notorious for his own deeds and also for Milton's
+mention of him, brought over a contingent of men from Ireland to help
+Montrose in the Royalist wars. These auxiliaries swooped down on
+Kintyre, murdered hundreds of Campbells, and devastated with fire and
+sword the whole of Argyll's country. To this period belongs the story of
+Red Hector and the Irish colossus, Phadrig Mor.
+
+Hector was a little, red-haired kern of the Campbell clan, who was
+caught by Colkitto's men skulking in the wood, and dragged with pinioned
+arms before the son of that bandit. Hector was about to be hanged
+without more ado, but as preparations were being made he cried out:
+"_Give me a sword and I'll fight any one of you. If I am beaten, kill me
+then._" The Irishmen, to whom an "illigant foight" has always been
+welcome, agreed to the proposal of Red Hector. They chose Phadrig Mor, a
+fierce giant of a man, to fight with the little fellow. The latter, to
+neutralise the advantages of Phadrig's stature, leapt nimbly on the sawn
+stump of a tree, and, in an attitude of defence, awaited the oncoming of
+his foe. The wee man parried most dexteriously every blow that Phadrig
+wished to deal, and there was much mirth and excitement among the
+spectators. At length, seeing a terrific blow coming his way, Hector
+speedily leapt off the trunk of the tree, and the Irishman's sword came
+fiercely down and was embedded in the timber. Now was Hector's chance:
+he laid about the defenceless giant to such purpose that Phadrig was
+soon a corpse.
+
+
+MACPHAIL OF COLONSAY.
+
+Leyden, the polyglott poet, has written a poem on an Argyllshire
+tradition attaching to the whirlpool of Corryvreckan. Near that dreaded
+tumult of waters, Macphail, a Colonsay man, was pulled out of his boat
+by a mermaid, and taken down to her shell-strewn chamber at the bottom
+of the sea. They stayed for years together, and five little, unbaptized
+Macphails claimed him at length as their sire. By and by he grew tired
+of the eternal swirling of the currents, the saltwater garden growths,
+and the irritating deflection of the sunlight. His mind continued to
+revert to Colonsay and the girl he had left behind him there. One day he
+got the mermaid to take him near the strand of his native island,
+whereupon he suddenly leapt ashore and escaped. In future years he
+avoided the sea as much as possible, preferring to devote his time and
+talents to cultivating the soil of Colonsay.
+
+
+TALES FROM SPEYSIDE.
+
+Part of my purpose in this chapter is to show to any of my readers who
+may have poetical talents, that abundance of material for verse, and
+that of the most pathetic, thrilling, and gruesome kind, is still to be
+found in the North country. No one since Scott has thought fit to draw
+much on traditions of the Highlands: and though Scott poetised a great
+many of these, plenty of them still remain unsung. Many fine tales are
+associated with the delightful district of Speyside.
+
+
+TOM EUNAN!
+
+Near the little village of Kincraig is a queer old church built on a
+hill called Tom Eunan, just beside the Spey. This church is declared to
+be the only one in Scotland in which services have been continuously
+held since the seventh century. The outside is antique in the extreme;
+inside, there have been renovations: there is a deal of varnished
+wainscoating that would have scared the Culdees, and instead of the
+uneven cobble stones of old, there is a modern floor of wood. On one of
+the windows of the church, there is a fine old bronze bell that exists
+as a relic of Culdee times. Some profane person once laid hands on this
+bell and carried it off to Perth; but it _would not_ ring away from
+Speyside. To speak figuratively, the bell was broken-hearted: from its
+metallic tongue, night and day, came the mournful wail, "Tom Eunan, Tom
+Eunan." I am happy to say that it was brought back to its beloved
+hillock.
+
+Rural churches with earthen floors were not uncommon in Scotland even in
+the nineteenth century: in such there would be no great trouble in
+interring the dead. Two Speyside stories, dealing with kirks and
+kirkyards, are told of the Grants of Rothiemurchus.
+
+
+SHAWS AND GRANTS.
+
+For several generations the possession of Rothiemurchus was a constant
+subject of dispute between the Shaws and the Grants. The Shaws were the
+original owners, but having waxed fat and kicked against the Government
+on more than one occasion, word was sent from Edinburgh to one of the
+Grants, who was Laird of Muckerach, that he should dispossess the Shaws
+of the lands of Rothiemurchus, _gin he could_. Grant was by no means
+"blate" in availing himself of the hint, but the Shaws were tough
+fighters. In a final and decisive contest between the two clans, the
+Grants were victorious and the chief of the Shaws slain. The victorious
+Muckerach, now unequivocal Laird of Rothiemurchus, caused his dead rival
+to be buried deep down within the kirk beneath his own seat. Every
+Sunday _when he went to pray_ he stamped his feet triumphantly upon the
+place under which lay the corpse of his enemy.
+
+Patrick Grant, surnamed Macalpine, cuts a rather picturesque figure in
+clan history. With a body of gaily-dressed retainers he paraded round
+the countryside, dispensing justice and letting the minimum of time
+elapse between the sentence and the execution. He was twice married,
+and his second wife survived him. That forlorn lady had much to endure
+from the first family, and notably from the wife of Macalpine's eldest
+son and heir. The widow took a very dramatic way of publicly showing her
+grievances. Once after the service in the kirk was over, she stepped up,
+with her fan in her hand, to the corner of the kirkyard, and, taking off
+her high-heeled slipper, she tapped with it on the stone laid over her
+husband's grave, crying out through her tears, "_Macalpine! Macalpine!
+rise up for ae half-hour and see me richted!_"
+
+A diverting legend explains the _low-lying situation of Ballindalloch
+Castle_, a beautiful specimen of baronial architecture, standing near
+the junction of the Spey and the Avon. In planning the place, somewhere
+about 1545, the laird fully intended to secure a wide prospect, and to
+that end, chose a commanding site. But his views did not commend
+themselves to the Powers of the Air, and the masons could make no
+progress. Every night, when the workers had retired from building the
+walls, a prodigious gale came roaring from the summit of Ben Rinnes and
+swept stones and mortar into the bed of the Avon. The laird, sorely
+puzzled at this strange phenomenon, lay in watch one night, with the
+result that he was blown off his feet, and landed right up among the
+branches of a holly-tree. Having taken the conceit out of the laird in
+this abrupt way, the Mysterious Power, chuckling in fiendish fashion,
+called out "_Build on the cow-haugh_." Frightened out of his wits, the
+laird was only too glad to comply.
+
+
+THE WISHING WELL.
+
+Round the old Castle of Rothes clings a legend of a more pathetic kind.
+"Fierce wars and faithful loves shall moralise my song," says Spenser,
+and it is with these well-worn but ever-fresh subjects that the story
+deals. The heiress of one of the old lairds of Rothes, being allowed to
+roam at will with her foster-mother, cast an eye of love on the son of
+the laird of Arndilly. As in ballad lore, the love seems to have been
+immediate, reciprocal, and unquenchable. The girl's father, hearing of
+the attachment, summarily forbade it, and commanded his daughter to turn
+her back on young Arndilly, and take a different road in future. But as
+journeys end in lovers meeting, the two young people, by whatever way
+they set out, invariably met at the _Wishing Well_. A sad severance
+came, however, for young Arndilly, like so many medival knights of song
+who had faithful mistresses, must needs go crusading to the Holy Land.
+During his absence, the lady hied daily to the Wishing Well, and many a
+tear she let fall therein as she thought of the lad that was so far
+away. But after many a month, back from Palestine came young Arndilly,
+and went, of course, straight to the old trysting-place, where he found
+his lady-love praying for his safe return. The meeting was rapturous but
+tragically short. A dark shape glided upon the scene, and drove a fatal
+dirk in the young soldier's back. The lady shrieked aloud and swooned
+away. For the rest of her life she was an imbecile: she never left the
+castle, and spent her time crooning a plaintive song and rocking a
+cradle. Her ghost still haunts the place, and those who have ears to
+hear can, at nightfall, make out, above the sough of the wind, the
+mournful notes of a weird lullaby, and mysterious cradle-rockings within
+the ruined walls. Close by the Well, at the spot of the murder, a bush
+sprang up, whereof the leaves resembled crosses; in autumn they turned
+to a bright scarlet colour, as if typical of the blood that had flowed
+there from its victim's wounds. Others will have it that the lady's
+ghost may be seen flitting about, distractedly, in the woods, on a
+particular night of the year--the anniversary, it is supposed, of
+Arndilly's murder.
+
+
+OSSIAN AND MACPHERSON.
+
+The beautiful little town of Kingussie is famous for its association
+with "Ossian" Macpherson, who was born near by. No man, born on Scottish
+earth, except perhaps, Sir Walter Scott, had ever such an influence on
+European literature as this Highland dominie. "His Ossian," as Professor
+Macmillan Brown says, "was translated into almost every European
+language; and its influence is apparent in Goethe's Werther, in
+Schiller's Robbers, and in all the Storm-and-Stress literature of
+Germany, in the productions and speeches of the French Revolutionists,
+in the romantic literary movement that preceded and followed the
+Revolution, and in much of the Italian, Spanish, and Danish poetry of
+the time. It generally affected the prose style of eighteenth century
+romance, and was a direct antidote to Johnsonianism in the imaginative
+literature. In our own century it bent the genius of Scott to the
+Highlands, and moulded the dramas of Byron, and the often vague imagery
+of Shelley; it appears in the style of Kingsley's Hereward, and directly
+or indirectly it is responsible for the pioneering efforts of Walt
+Whitman in prose poetry and for the rapid growth of poetic prose through
+De Quincey, Bulwer Lytton, and Ruskin. During last century it stirred
+Blake to misty prophecies, led writers of romance back into the less
+known periods of the past, and gave the new audience a delight in
+mysterious and almost formless legend and tale and idea."
+
+The extraordinary vogue of Macpherson's Ossianic poems was due to
+literary merit of a high order, and also to the parched and dry state
+into which the poetry of Europe had sunk in the middle of the eighteenth
+century. Boileau and his rules had crushed all sap and life out of
+European verse, and the poet had become either a teacher of rimed ethics
+or a framer of dexterous satire. How refreshing Ossian must have been to
+the men of such a time:
+
+ "The hills were round them, and the breeze
+ Went o'er the sun-lit fields again;
+ Their foreheads felt the wind and rain."
+
+Let the modern reader go through the _Rape of the Lock_, and then take
+up the song of the hunter Shilric from Macpherson's "Carric-thura."
+
+Shilric, not knowing that his love Vinvela is dead, thus communes with
+himself:
+
+ "I sit by the mossy mountain; on the top of the hill of winds.
+ One tree is rustling above me. Dark waves roll over the heath.
+ The lake is troubled below. The deer descend from the hill. No
+ hunter at a distance is seen. It is mid-day; but all is silent.
+ Sad are my thoughts alone. Didst thou but appear, O my love! a
+ wanderer on the heath! thy hair floating on the wind behind
+ thee; thy bosom heaving on the sight; thine eyes full of tears
+ for thy friends, whom the mist of the hill had concealed! Thee I
+ would comfort, my love, and bring thee to thy father's house!"
+
+To him mourning thus, the spirit of his dead love appears:
+
+ "But is it she that there appears, like a beam of light on the
+ heath? bright as the moon in autumn, as the sun in a
+ summer-storm, comest thou, O maid, over rocks, over mountains to
+ me? She speaks: but how weak her voice! like the breeze in the
+ reeds of the lake.
+
+ "'Alone I am, O Shilric! alone in the winter-house. With grief
+ for thee I fell. Shilric, I am pale in the tomb.'
+
+ "She fleets, she sails away; as mist before the wind! and wilt
+ thou not stay, Vinvela? Stay and behold my tears! fair thou
+ appearest, Vinvela! fair thou wast, when alive!
+
+ "By the mossy mountain I will sit; on the top of the hill of
+ winds. When mid-day is silent around, O talk with me, Vinvela!
+ come on the light-winged gale! on the breeze of the desert,
+ come! Let me hear thy voice, as thou passest, when mid-day is
+ silent around.'"
+
+The readers of the eighteenth century did not stay to consider whether
+the foregoing was, or was not, a genuine antique: it suited their taste
+admirably. Rousseau had brought sentimentalism into favour; the "return
+to nature" was a kind of creed with the French philosophers: these
+facts aided greatly in causing the epidemic of Ossianism that overran
+Europe.
+
+I should not like to be condemned to read nothing but Ossian for a year.
+The short staccato sentences, the difficulty of getting hold of anything
+definite amid so many moonbeams, gliding ghosts, whistling reeds, and
+feasts of shells, has a very debilitating effect on the mind. There is
+too much weeping: one is constantly saying with Tennyson, "Tears, idle
+tears, I know not what they mean." Yet, no one can dip into Macpherson
+without being rewarded by some phrase of an impressive or refreshing
+kind, _e.g._:--
+
+ "Thou art with the years that are gone; thou fadest on my soul."
+
+ "Why dost thou build the hall, son of the winged days?"
+
+ "Her steps were like the music of songs; she saw the youth and
+ loved him. He was the stolen sigh of her soul."
+
+ "Why does Ossian sing? Soon shall he lie in the narrow house,
+ and no bard shall raise his fame."
+
+ "When shall it be morn in the grave to bid the slumberer wake?"
+
+ "Mixed with the murmur of waters rose the voice of aged men, who
+ called the forms of night to aid them in the war."
+
+ "Autumn is dark on the mountains; grey mist rests on the hills."
+
+
+AT THE FOOT O' BENNACHIE.
+
+I have on several occasions, during the last year or two, visited that
+part of Aberdeenshire which is immediately under the glorious ridge of
+Bennachie. Like all lovers of ballad lore, I know by heart the poem of
+the little wee man who had such prowess, and who invited the poet to go
+with him to his green bower. After seeing magnificent examples of
+dancing, the poet found himself lying in the mist at the foot of
+Bennachie:--
+
+ "Out went the lichts, on cam' the mist,
+ Leddies nor mannie mair could I see;
+ I turned aboot, and gave a look,
+ I was just at the foot o' Bennachie."
+
+The exquisite little ballad from which I quote is calculated to raise
+expectations of beauty which the picturesque surroundings of Bennachie
+are well able to satisfy. Great tracts of Aberdeenshire are flat,
+treeless, and painful in their monotony; in winter, great gusts sweep
+the cold plains, and make driving or walking a trying ordeal; the
+country is thinly peopled, and the impression of the visitor is that, in
+some districts, railway stations are more numerous than villages. Round
+Bennachie, however, the scenery is most pleasant and picturesque. The
+villages of Oyne and Insch, in which hospitality to strangers is a
+religion, are beautifully placed and well-foliaged all around. The
+region is, indeed, one of romance, and the little brook of Gadie ripples
+on in the radiance and glamour of pathetic song.
+
+
+HARLAW.
+
+Those who consider, like Ruskin, that the stories of the past add no
+inconsiderable item to the beauty of a landscape, as it appears to the
+eye and intelligence of modern observers, will not fail to remember the
+momentous issues decided at no great distance from the foot of
+Bennachie, in 1411. Teutonic and Celtic Scotland came to grips at
+Harlaw, near by:--
+
+ "The Hielandmen, wi' their lang swords,
+ They laid on us fu' sair;
+ And they drave back our merry men
+ Three acres' breadth and mair.
+
+ . . . . . . . . . .
+
+ Gin anybody speer at ye
+ For them we took awa',
+ Ye may tell them plain and very plain,
+ They're sleeping at Harlaw."
+
+Burton, in his _History of Scotland_, declares that the check given to
+Donald of the Isles at Harlaw, was a greater relief to Scotland than
+even Bannockburn was. If the Stuart kings, hard pressed as they were by
+England on the south, had been threatened by a formidable Celtic
+sovereignty on the north, Holyrood might have been in ruins a good many
+centuries earlier. I am not going to shock my Highland friends by saying
+it was a good thing for the country that Donald, with the remnant of his
+plaids and claymores, had to retreat to the misty straths and islands of
+the west. The coalition of Celt and Teuton has taken place in an
+unostentatious way, to the advantage of both races: Macfadyen does not
+now, as in the days of Dunbar, bide "_far norrart in a neuk_;" he has
+come to the Lowlands long ago, and rarely goes North, except on holiday.
+And the language, which to the finical ears of James Fourth's
+poet-laureate, seemed too terrible even for the devil to tolerate, has
+come south, too, and has a chair all to itself in the University of
+Edinburgh. _Time_, says Sophocles, _is a god who performs difficult
+things with ease_.
+
+Mention of Harlaw suggests a comic tale told to the credit of the
+Provost of Inverness. That gentleman, on being threatened with a
+predatory visit from Donald in 1400, took the remarkable plan of sending
+an ample supply of Inverness whisky into the Celtic camp. The men of
+Lewis and Skye tackled the liquid bounty with great glee, and soon were
+in a state of maudlin intoxication. The wily Provost meanwhile collected
+a force and attacked Donald's men, who (as they magnified the attacking
+host to _double its real numbers_) were easily scared and routed. At
+Harlaw, eleven years later, the Provost of Aberdeen, evidently a man who
+lacked the resource of the chief magistrate of Inverness, was killed,
+and 500 men with him.
+
+
+LOCHABER REIVERS.
+
+The predatory habits of the Highlanders gave great trouble to the
+Aberdeenshire farmers _for fully three hundred years after Harlaw_. In
+1689 a dozen wild Lochaber men came right down into the heart of
+Aberdeenshire and lifted six score of black cattle. The fate of the
+marauders is thus described by the author of _Johnny Gibb_:--
+
+"They were pursued by a body of nearly 50 horsemen, well mounted and
+armed, and each carrying bags of meal and other provisions, both for
+their own support, and to offer in ransom for the cattle, if peaceful
+negotiations could be carried through. On through the hills, over
+marshes, rocks, and heather, the spirited horsemen followed, under
+their leader; and guided by a herd-boy whom they encountered, they
+traced the robbers by Loch Ericht side into the heart of their own
+country. At nightfall, they came upon them at Dalunchart, encamped and
+busily engaged roasting a portion of the flesh of one of the cattle they
+had stolen. They offered, after some parley, to give each of the
+freebooters a bag of meal and a pair of shoes in ransom for the cattle.
+The Highlanders treated such an offer for cattle driven so far and with
+so much trouble with contempt; the herd was gathered in, and the fight
+began in deep earnest, the result being that the Lochaber men were all
+shot down, killed or wounded, except three, who escaped unhurt to tell
+the tale; and the cattle were, of course, recovered."
+
+
+REAY AND TWICKENHAM.
+
+Perhaps the least attractive of the Scotch counties, in respect of
+scenery, is Caithness. The North-going train enters it a little after
+Helmsdale, and from thence to Thurso the journey is of a most dreary and
+depressing character. He who wishes to see the romantic part of the
+county should quit the train at Helmsdale, and go right to John o'
+Groats by the shore road: thereafter he should proceed along the line of
+the Pentland Firth to the dainty town of Thurso and to the village of
+Reay, the citadel of the Mackays. The district round Reay is a
+delightful one, and has great historical interest.
+
+Some good examples of the power assumed of old by the country ministers
+are furnished by a perusal of the life of an eighteenth century
+minister, the Rev. Alexander Pope, who was stationed for many years in
+Reay. He was a huge giant of a man, and invariably carried about with
+him a nail-studded cudgel that was a terror to sinners. A lout of a
+fellow in his parish refused to come to church and get rebuked for an
+infringement of the usual commandment. Mr. Pope sent three elders with
+ropes to pinion the adulterer, hale him to church, and fasten him to a
+conspicuous pew right under the pulpit. The minister cannonaded the
+culprit to his heart's content, beginning thus: "_Shame, shame, son of a
+beggar, where art thou now?_"
+
+Another parishioner who neglected family worship on the ground that he
+could not make up a prayer, was severely taken to task by Mr. Pope, who
+gave the man a year within which to manufacture one. At the end of the
+twelvemonth, Mr. Pope called and requested to hear the prayer. The man
+glibly rattled off a long succession of phrases that did not please the
+minister at all. "That won't do," he said, "you must prepare over
+again." "And is all my long labour to go for nothing," said the man,
+"all my year's toil? No, no: rather than lose my labour, I'll _break the
+prayer up and make two graces of it_." For the rest of his life, as the
+story runs, he did actually employ the two parts of his mutilated prayer
+as Grace before and Grace after meat respectively. Could there be a
+finer example of natural thrift in the spiritual world?
+
+An Inverness journalist, Mr. Carruthers, wrote a life of the great poet,
+Alexander Pope, in which occurs the following curious note respecting
+the minister of Reay, just mentioned: "The northern Alexander Pope
+entertained a profound admiration for his illustrious namesake of
+England; and it is a curious and well-ascertained fact that the simple
+enthusiastic clergyman, in the summer of 1732, rode on his pony all the
+way from Caithness to Twickenham, in order to pay the poet a visit. The
+latter felt his dignity a little touched by the want of the necessary
+pomp and circumstance with which the minister presumed to approach his
+domicile; but after the ice of ceremony had in some degree been broken,
+and their intellects had come in contact, the poet became interested,
+and a friendly feeling was established between them. Several interviews
+took place, and the poet presented his good friend and namesake, the
+minister of Reay, with a copy of the subscription edition of the
+'Odyssey' in five volumes quarto."
+
+A grandson of the Reay minister, a Mr. James Campbell of Edinburgh, gave
+a description to Mr. Carruthers of a snuff-box which the poet had
+presented to the Rev. Mr. Pope. A series of letters to the _Northern
+Ensign_, in April, 1883, brought out the information that a Wick
+gentleman, Mr. Duncan, had in his possession two volumes of de Vertot's
+_History of the Roman Republic_, bearing an inscription to the effect
+that they had been presented by the poet of Twickenham to his northern
+namesake.
+
+It has been suggested that the poet and the minister were distant
+blood-relations. Mr. Campbell, alluded to above, said that "the two
+Popes claimed kin." In any case, the friendship of the two men, one
+living on the shores of the wild Pentland Firth, in sight of the
+Orkneys, and the other not far "from streaming London's central roar,"
+is pleasant to think of. In 1737, Pope wrote the lines--
+
+ "Loud as the wolves on Orca's stormy steep
+ Howl to the roarings of the northern deep,"
+
+adding, in a note, that he refers to "the farthest northern promontory
+of Scotland, opposite to the Orcades." Perhaps his mind reverted to the
+burly incumbent of Reay as he penned the note.
+
+
+ROB DONN.
+
+The little township of Reay is less famous for the Rev. Mr. Pope's
+incumbency than for the fact of Rob Donn, the satirical Gaelic bard,
+being a native of the district. The author of the _Dunciad_ is the
+greatest satirist in British Literature; Rob Donn is supreme among
+Gaelic bards for the sharpness of his tongue and his clever way of
+showing up his contemporaries to ridicule. He was in the habit of giving
+praise to people in order to make his satire more biting. Praise on his
+tongue was compared to oil on the edge of a razor: the cut was all the
+deeper. Rob, although a master of language, was unable to read or write,
+so that though he "lisped in numbers"--he began to compose at the age of
+three--he could not say, like Pope:
+
+ "Why did I _write_? What sin to me unknown
+ _Dipt me in ink_, my parents' or my own?"
+
+Blackie speaks thus of him: "Rob Donn, according to all accounts, though
+outwardly of such fair respectability that he attained an honour,
+unknown to Robert Burns, of acting as an elder of the kirk, was not
+always so chaste in his words as he might seem to be in his deeds; he
+took his plash as a poet, and not always in the clearest waters;
+besides, he had a terrible lash at his command, which he could wield
+with an effect at times that paid little respect to the bounds set in
+such matters by Christian charity, or even by social politeness. The
+consequence has been that much of the wit and humour of his pieces,
+however telling for its immediate purpose, has lost half of its interest
+by the disappearance of the persons to whom it referred. These personal
+allusions also import an additional difficulty into the language which
+he uses, and cause his productions, however belauded, to be less known
+amongst Highlanders generally than those of Duncan Ban and Dugald
+Buchanan. Severe moralists also very properly object to the undue
+license and occasional coarseness of his verses."[33]
+
+ [33] Rob was at one time in the army, for every Mackay has the
+ fighting instinct in him. (Reay is one of the few townships in
+ the North that possess a drill-hall and a military instructor. It
+ is impossible adequately to describe the consternation in the
+ Mackay country at the time of our South African reverses.
+ Everyone was in a fury and it was felt there was urgent need for
+ the Mackays to straighten out matters at the seat of war. It was
+ at this time that the drill-hall was built in Reay. Many of the
+ young men went to the front as volunteers, and if the war had
+ lasted much longer, there would have been few Mackays left in
+ Sutherlandshire.)
+
+
+REV. MR. MILL OF DUNROSSNESS.
+
+Before concluding the present chapter, I should like to refer briefly to
+a valuable and amusing book (brought under my notice in Shetland) that
+furnishes details of the life of Mr. Mill, minister of Dunrossness from
+1742 till 1805. Mr. Mill's special talent was his unrivalled power of
+exorcism: he was a strenuous foe to the devil in every shape and form,
+and his life was one long battle with the Prince of Darkness. The latter
+was constantly bringing into play all manner of gins, traps, and wiles
+to confound the uncompromising clergyman; but, on a calm review of the
+evidence, one cannot but admit that the devil was far inferior in
+intelligence to his opponent.
+
+On one occasion, Satan had the effrontery to come into Dunrossness
+Church and take his seat at the Communion Table. Mr. Mill at once
+recognised his life-long adversary, and began to speak in all the deep
+languages, and, last of all, in Gaelic, and that beat him altogether.
+Satan went off like a flock of "doos" over the heads of the people, many
+of whom swooned. "As a permanent reminder of the hostility cherished
+against him by the Arch-Enemy, it was said that Mr. Mill always had the
+wind in his face. One day he came up to officiate at Sandwick, in the
+teeth, as usual, of a pretty stiff breeze. An ordinary person would
+naturally have expected the wind to be on his back on the return
+journey. But during the service the wind veered round. Mr. Mill's only
+comment, as he started for home, was, 'It's all he can do.' In one
+respect, Mr. Mill benefited by the penalty of always having the wind in
+his face, for on his very numerous sea-journeys he could always secure
+a favourable breeze _by sitting with his back to the head of the boat_."
+
+The following additional tale from Mr. Mill's biography only brings into
+more striking relief the resource of the minister in all emergencies.
+"One day a very respectable gentleman entered the house of a tailor in
+Channerwick, and ordered a suit of clothes to be made out of cloth which
+he brought with him. The tailor's delight at having such a fine
+gentleman for a customer was, however, turned into perplexity and fear
+as he opened up the cloth and found that the colour kept constantly
+changing. He at once sent for the minister and laid the matter before
+him. He was advised to spread a sheet on the floor and cut the cloth
+upon it, so that none of the clippings should be scattered about the
+room, and the minister said that he would be present to meet the
+stranger when the latter called to get the clothes. The day came, and
+when the stranger entered the house, Mr. Mill stepped forward to meet
+him. A terrible controversy ensued, and the respectable-looking
+gentleman was swept out of the house in a cloud of blue, sulphurous
+flame. It is not recorded if he took the new suit with him. A clue to
+his identification was furnished by his accidentally striking his foot
+against the door-step as he departed. The result of the collision was
+that a mark as of a cloven hoof was imprinted on the stone."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+METRICAL AND SUPPLEMENTARY.
+
+ I. Arrival of the Mail-train at a Highland Station.
+ II. Defoe, the Father of Journalism.
+ III. A Village Toper.
+ IV. A Reverend Hellenist.
+ V. Antigone.
+ VI. Shadows of the Manse.
+ VII. "My Heart's in the Highlands."
+ VIII. Saddell, Kintyre.
+ IX. Springtime in Perthshire.
+ X. Dr. George Macdonald's Creed.
+ XI. Abbotsford.
+ XII. Carlyle.
+ XIII. Shelley.
+ XIV. Picture in an Inn.
+ XV. Rain-storm at Loch Awe.
+ XVI. Kinlochewe.
+ XVII. General Wade.
+ XVIII. Sound of Raasay in December.
+ XIX. Les Neiges d' Antan.
+ XX. The Islands of the Ness.
+ XXI. American Tourist Loquitur.
+ XXII. The Miners.
+ XXIII. In a Country Graveyard.
+ XXIV. No Place like Home.
+
+
+I.
+
+ARRIVAL OF THE MAIL-TRAIN AT A HIGHLAND STATION.
+
+ "_Hark! 'tis the twanging horn._" So Cowper sang
+ Of the slow post-boy by the flooded Ouse;
+ In different fashion now the great world's news
+ Goes to each nook of Britain. The harangue
+ Of politician; great events that hang
+ In Fortune's hand, with magic speed diffuse
+ From London's centre to the furthest Lews,
+ Their tingling rumour and resounding clang.
+ Daily along yon track of curving steels
+ Comes to this Highland clachan, Watt's machine,
+ Rolling in triumph on its iron wheels,
+ And bringing letter, journal, magazine,
+ To kilted Celts with collies at their heels
+ And frivolous tourists from the putting-green.
+
+
+II.
+
+DEFOE[34]
+
+(FATHER OF JOURNALISM).
+
+ Father of journalists! illustrious liar!
+ Untiring wielder of the nimblest quill
+ That ever shed the stanchless inky rill
+ Upon the virgin whiteness of the quire.
+ What full and varied stores of gold and mire,
+ Magnificence and squalor, good and ill,
+ Prayers, curses, loyalty and treason fill
+ Thy books! But that which children most admire
+ Of all thy hundred volumes, is the one
+ Fated for ever more to charm mankind
+ From the far Orient to the Setting Sun.
+ Prompt-witted Daniel! thou has left behind
+ Upon the Sands of Time, distinctly traced,
+ One footmark that can never be effaced.
+
+ [34] Let me here pay a tribute to the marked excellence and
+ literary skill of the newspapers of provincial Scotland. These
+ are very numerous--even Ailsa Craig has a sheet of its own, _The
+ Ailsa Craig Banner_.
+
+
+III.
+
+A VILLAGE TOPER.
+
+ John loved strong waters and ne'er stirred his feet
+ Abroad in leafy spring or summer's heat,
+ Autumnal breeze or winter's rimy chill,
+ Unsolaced by the nectar of the still.
+ Spirits came always kindly to his lips,
+ And time he measured not by hours but "nips."
+ Teetotalers to him were curse and gall,
+ Grim Banquos at the world's wide festival,
+ Men, whom a weird and fate-ordaind bale,
+ Had smitten with the hate of cakes and ale,
+ A soda-water, syphon-squirting crew,
+ Guilty of treason to the revenue:
+ Their lurid language and their unctuous warnings,
+ Their moral-pointings and their tale-adornings,
+ And, worst of all, their shameful _waste of ink_
+ In signing pledges to abstain from drink,
+ Proved them a witless and a churlish band,
+ Unfit to dwell in any Christian land.
+
+
+IV.
+
+A REVEREND HELLENIST.
+
+ In that old ivied manse exists
+ A scholar, wrinkled, bent, and gray,
+ His student lamp gleams through the mists
+ And twinkles on till break of day.
+
+ This sage is wedded to his books,
+ And Sultan-like his harem's full,
+ He dotes upon them in their nooks
+ With love and joy that never cool.
+
+ No wonder that his back is bent,
+ Or that his eye has mystic glows,
+ He pores on pages redolent
+ Of love and love's undying rose.
+
+ No earthly maiden, fresh and sweet,
+ Could please his fancy half so well
+ As a Greek nymph with twinkling feet
+ Skipping in some Arcadian dell.
+
+
+V.
+
+ANTIGONE
+
+(READ IN A HIGHLAND MANSE).
+
+ A form of beauty blent with hardihood,
+ Majestic as Olympus wreathed in snows,
+ What modern pages of romance disclose
+ A radiant maiden of such dauntless mood!
+ Yet, when the tyrant strives with outrage rude
+ The unyielding maid in darkness to enclose,
+ Then, only then, her burning heart outflows
+ In anguished cries of love, but unsubdued
+ By baser throbbings. Ah! that nuptial hymn
+ Unsung! that bond in death! All men agree
+ To crown thee in that chamber dark and dim
+ With love's immortal wreath, Antigon.
+ Since love and duty in thy death combine,
+ An immortality of praise is thine.
+
+
+VI.
+
+SHADOWS OF THE MANSE.
+
+I.
+
+ Lo! we have him of shaven face
+ And curls of long and lustrous hair,
+ Who breathes an atmosphere of grace
+ And has a wondrous gift in prayer.
+ You'd ne'er suspect to see him there,
+ Shaking his head in solemn guise,
+ _The college life of deil-may-care
+ Diversion that behind him lies_.
+
+
+II.
+
+ And then the little starveling pope
+ Who strives to make his sermons new
+ By stringing florid scraps of hope
+ And faith and love to dazzle you:
+ From Stopford Brooke a phrase or two,
+ A gleaming line from Arnold's page,
+ Whole screeds of Browning and a few
+ Stolen thunders from the Chelsea sage.
+
+
+III.
+
+ Perhaps the most diverting wight
+ Is he who sees in Holy Writ
+ Old Jewish fables gross and trite
+ To semblance of a system knit--
+ Fables for modern taste unfit,
+ Until _he_ cleans the dross away
+ And shows the tiny little bit
+ Of gold that gleams amid the clay.
+
+
+IV.
+
+ But worst of all is he who jests,
+ Or tries to jest, in pulpit gown,
+ Lord, save us from such holy pests
+ Who so unseemly act the clown
+ And pull the tabernacle down
+ To something worse than pantomime:
+ On all such zanies let us frown
+ And scourge them both in prose and rhyme.
+
+
+VII.
+
+"MY HEART'S IN THE HIGHLANDS."
+
+ Puzzling over musty tomes,
+ What a life to lead,
+ While each gay companion roams
+ Where his fancies lead!
+
+ One beside a shady pool
+ Sweeps the wave for hours,
+ Comes home with his basket full,
+ When the evening lowers.
+
+ Some more energetic wights
+ Leave the level land,
+ Mountaineer on dizzy heights,
+ Alpenstock in hand.
+
+ Others boat in sunny bays
+ Where bright sands are seen
+ Glimmering amid a maze
+ Of tangled flowers marine.
+
+ Luck to all is what I wish
+ With a meed of fun,
+ I'll row, mountaineer, and fish,
+ When _your_ sports are done.
+
+
+VIII.
+
+SADDELL
+
+(KINTYRE).
+
+ Fresh gusts of wind ripple the ocean's face,
+ And the green slopes, after the night's soft rain,
+ Glitter beneath the blue.
+
+ Most glorious are the sea-descending glens,
+ Vivid with countless ferns, and with the blaze
+ Of sun-enamoured broom.
+
+ The dark, tip-tilted rocks of cruel mood,
+ Show a stern beauty through the creamy foam
+ That flecks their rugged flanks.
+
+ See, from this hill-top, how the blazing Sound
+ Is marked by moving shadows of the clouds
+ That skim aloft in air.
+
+ Through the clear radiance of the freshened morn,
+ The eye can see the far farm-windows gleam
+ Up on the Arran hills.
+
+
+IX.
+
+SPRINGTIME IN PERTHSHIRE.
+
+ Returning Springtime fills the woods with song--
+ The ring-dove, sick for love, is cooing sweet;
+ The lark, scorning the daisies, soars to greet
+ The sun, while the brown swarms of bees among
+ The flowery meadows skim in haste along.
+ Once more the young year glories in the feat
+ Of driving winter off with vernal heat
+ And tepid sap luxuriantly strong.
+ Winter has drawn aloof his snowy powers
+ To the high peaks that domineer the plain,
+ And, like a vanquished leader, grimly lowers,
+ From a safe distance, on the victor's reign.
+ E'er many months have passed, his arrowy showers
+ And gusty cohorts will descend again.
+
+
+X.
+
+DR. GEORGE MACDONALD'S CREED[35]
+
+(WRITTEN AT CULLEN).
+
+ God will not suffer that a single one
+ Of His own creatures, in His image made,
+ Should die, and in irrevocable shade
+ Lie evermore--neglected and undone.
+ It is not thus a father treats his son,
+ And those whose folly credits it, degrade
+ God's love and fatherhood, that never fade,
+ By lies as base as devils ever spun.
+ Man's love is but a pale reflex of God's,
+ And God _is_ love, and never will condemn
+ Beyond remission--though He school with rods--
+ His children, but will one day comfort them.
+ Dives will have his drink at last, and stand
+ Among the faithful ones at God's right hand.
+
+ [35] Reprinted (by kind permission) from the _Scotsman_.
+
+
+XI.
+
+ABBOTSFORD.
+
+ "Dryden and Scott, men of a giant seed!"
+ So said I to myself, gazing upon
+ The pictured countenance of Glorious John,
+ In Abbotsford, hard by the storied Tweed.
+ These twain were brothers, kin in mind and deed:
+ Old England never had a brawnier son
+ Than Dryden; and in fervid Scotland none
+ Better than Scott exemplified the breed.
+ After five centuries of blood and hate,
+ Britain is one leal land from north to south,
+ From gusty Thurso to St. Michael's Mount,
+ I therefore, Scot and Briton, am elate
+ To think that from Sir Walter's golden mouth
+ Dryden's career received the fit account.
+
+
+XII.
+
+CARLYLE
+
+(AT ECCLEFECHAN).
+
+ The ploughman in the loamy furrow sings,
+ The sailor whistles as he reefs the sail,
+ Blithe is the smith as the blows fall like hail
+ From his huge hammer, and the stithy rings.
+ Work is the sole and sovereign balm that brings
+ Peace to the torpid soul when doubts assail,
+ And sickening pleasures are of no avail
+ To lull the torture of affliction's stings.
+ Give me the work I love, the work I feel
+ God in His Heaven has willed that I should do,
+ And you may offer the whole commonweal,
+ Lands, mansions, jewels, gold, and temples too,
+ Vainly to me. By strenuous work alone
+ Man mounts on Jacob's ladder to God's throne.
+
+
+XIII.
+
+SHELLEY.[36]
+
+ 'Twas but a passing visit that he paid
+ To the gross air of earth, this mystic seer,
+ The tyrannies of sense were too severe
+ For one of clay more fine than Adam's made.
+ The inhumanity of man, the trade
+ Of coining gold from the serf's groan and tear,
+ The galling fetters of religious fear,
+ And vain ecclesiastic masquerade
+ Tortured his gentle soul, and made his life
+ One bitter struggle with the powers that be:
+ Yet not in vain he lived; his manful strife
+ With all the deadening despotisms we see
+ Will ring along the centuries, until
+ Good has her final triumph over ill.
+
+ [36] Suggested by a copy of his poems in a West Highland
+ bookcase.
+
+
+XIV.
+
+PICTURE IN AN INN.
+
+ A wood of pines through which the setting sun
+ Pours from the western sky a parting flame,
+ Beside the shore, a church called by the name
+ Of some old saint whose pious race was run
+ Long ere schismatic Luther had begun
+ To work the Pope and his disciples shame.
+ In earnest-seeming talk, a knight and dame
+ Sit in a painted galley, rowed by one
+ Whose back is to the setting orb of day.
+ The soldier and his mate, their faces lit
+ With all love's animation and the ray
+ Of the down-lapsing globe of crimson, sit
+ Together in the gilded vessel's prow,
+ And there will sit for evermore, as now.
+
+
+XV.
+
+RAIN-STORM AT LOCH AWE.
+
+ The topmost mountain-snows are melting fast,
+ See, how the swollen waters hurry down
+ In perpendicular runnels from the crown
+ Of every wreathd hill. The train has past
+ Beside a dark stream into which are cast
+ A hundred huddling rills whose foam is brown
+ With pilfered soil. No dweller in a town
+ Ever beheld such manifold and vast
+ Torrents of roaring water. Each small isle
+ Spaced on the loch, glooms through the hanging haze
+ Like a dream-picture, and for many a mile
+ Beneath those clouds that lean upon the braes
+ Encompassing Loch Awe, the watery plain
+ Is pricked with million lances of the rain.
+
+
+XVI.
+
+KINLOCHEWE.
+
+ The mist, retreating, gems the leaves with dew,
+ Soft blows the breeze along the fragrant meads,
+ A little brawling burn runs through the reeds
+ And ripples away under the cloudless blue.
+ I never saw the world so fair to view,
+ For Spring has riven old Winter's funeral weeds
+ And given new sap and vigour to the seeds
+ That lay inanimate the cold months through.
+ Old man! with jaded limbs and wrinkled brow,
+ That walkest feebly in this lenient sun
+ Like a day-dream, thy life is winter now.
+ But life and death in ceaseless cycles run,
+ And tireless Time and Heaven have in store
+ For thee a myriad resurrections more.
+
+
+XVII.
+
+GENERAL WADE.
+
+ Houses are fewer here than milestones are:
+ We stand a thousand feet aloft in air
+ Upon a bouldered hillside stern and bare,
+ Down which the roadway serpentines afar.
+ There are no clouds in the wide blue to mar
+ The passage of the sun's imperial glare
+ Over a dreary-stretching landscape, where
+ Rough winds hold riot all the calendar.
+ Who that has footed o'er these firm-knit paths
+ But lauds the men whose strenuous axe and spade
+ Drove roads through the wild glens and hilly straths
+ Under the generalship of tireless Wade!
+ On the safe tracks behind them, commerce came
+ The unruly spirit of the Celt to tame.
+
+
+XVIII.
+
+THE SOUND OF RAASAY IN DECEMBER.
+
+ A snowy gust is whirling down the strait,
+ Raasay is gleaming ghostly to the sight,
+ And, robed in lawn, from sea to topmost height
+ Skye and her lordly mountains stand in state.
+ Ever from heaven falls the silent weight
+ Of wavering flakes that dim the stars of night.
+ Our gallant little boat with all the might
+ Of the wild-hissing surges holds debate,
+ Plunging and struggling, till at last we see
+ A spacious haven, sudden and serene
+ And, high aloft, the twinkle of Portree.
+ At once the winds are hushed, the moon is seen
+ To free her face from cloudy drift, and fill
+ With silver light the clefts of Essie Hill.
+
+
+XIX.
+
+LES NEIGES D'ANTAN.
+
+I.
+
+ Where is Macfee, that valiant preacher,
+ Gifted with voice, so harsh and loud,
+ Aye, louder and harsher than any screecher
+ Of birds that sail on the black storm-cloud?
+ And his beadle John, with back so bowed,
+ Where is _he_ that had never a peer?
+ Is he too rolled in his mortal shroud?
+ But where are the snows of yester-year?
+
+II.
+
+ Donald the Gay, that steered his steamer
+ Many a year through the Sound of Mull,
+ He that was never a Celtic dreamer,
+ But a captain of captains masterful:
+ O Death, thou madest the world more dull
+ When you nailed _him_ down in his narrow bier,
+ And sent his ghost into Charon's hull;
+ But where are the snows of yester-year?
+
+III.
+
+ Duncan, the bard of rocky Staffin,
+ Away in the north of rainy Skye:
+ Has _he_ given over his rimes and daffin',
+ In the mould of the bleak kirkyard to lie?
+ His cot was built where the sea-gulls fly,
+ And his misty isle to his soul was dear;
+ Ere his song is finished, the bard must die;
+ But where are the snows of yester-year?
+
+IV.
+
+ And Dougal, who carried King Edward's mails
+ Every day o'er the moor and heather,
+ Scorning the chill of the winter gales,
+ And the ten-mile walk in the sultry weather:
+ Has _he_ too come to the end of his tether
+ And gone to the ghosts with all his gear,
+ His whistle, his satchel and strap of leather?
+ But where are the snows of yester-year?
+
+V.
+
+ Prince, they have gone from the regions that knew them,
+ Gone at the summons that none can resist,
+ Praise and every honour be to them,
+ They did their best and they will be missed.
+ We, too, shall soon be erased from the list
+ Of workers below in this mortal sphere,
+ And be no more to those that exist
+ Than the vanished snows of yester-year.
+
+
+XX.
+
+THE ISLANDS OF THE NESS.
+
+ A fairyland of trees and leafy bowers
+ Where one may sit and dream the hours away,
+ Or 'mid the devious walks and alleys stray,
+ While perfume rises from a world of flowers,
+ The girdling river, swollen with upland showers,
+ Sends rippling round to every creek and bay
+ The vagrant branches of his water-way;
+ Then gathering up his current's parted powers,
+ Swiftly-majestic in a broadening bed,
+ He glistens on by many a chiming spire,
+ And past the castle's pennoned turrets red,
+ Till he attain the goal of his desire,
+ And into the salt sea exulting throws
+ His subsidy of rains and melted snows.
+
+
+XXI.
+
+AMERICAN TOURIST LOQUITUR
+
+(AT BERRIEDALE, CAITHNESS).
+
+ If I had wealth like Vanderbilt
+ Or some such millionaire,
+ I'd live in Scotland, don a kilt,
+ And _pay to prove_ my forbears spilt
+ Their blood in forays there.
+
+ I'd buy a picturesque estate
+ Beside the ocean's flow,
+ With knolls of heather at my gate,
+ And pine-clad hills to dominate,
+ The ferny dells below.
+
+ I'd be a father to the folk
+ That laboured on the soil,
+ With old and young I'd crack my joke,
+ Drink with them in their thirst, and smoke
+ The pipe that lightens toil.
+
+ For hens I'd have a special run,
+ For ducks a special pool,
+ My calves should frolic in the sun,
+ My sheep should be surpassed by none
+ Whose backs are clothed with wool.
+
+ Although I'm not a Walton quite,
+ Betweenwhiles I should try
+ To lure the finny tribe to bite
+ (At the right time, in the right light,)
+ My simulated fly.
+
+ When winter heaped his rattling hail
+ High on the window sill,
+ With pipe and wassail, rime and tale,
+ I'd never miss the nightingale
+ Or cuckoo on the hill.
+
+ Nay, musing by the ingle-lowe
+ With summer in my brain,
+ I'd cloth with leaves the frozen bough
+ And all the ice-bound brooks endow
+ With tinkling life again.[37]
+
+ [37] Berriedale, which moved the American to commemorative song,
+ is on the Caithness shore, and there the Duke of Portland has
+ one of his numerous residences. The Duke's seat is high up on
+ the hills and behind it is a mountain of grim aspect which
+ serves for a deer-forest. At Berriedale, the road traversed by
+ the coach is simply appalling: boards marked _Dangerous_
+ forewarn all wheel-men that risks cannot be taken with impunity.
+ An honest descent can be easily coped with, but here the road to
+ the glen is not merely steep, it is as lacking in
+ straightforwardness as the links of Forth. Once down at the
+ level of the village, the breeze no longer blows fresh and
+ chilly, but subsides into a quiet air, grateful with the odour
+ of flowers. Passengers are requested to walk up the
+ corresponding hill to a level equal to the height of the road
+ before the interruption of the terrible Berriedale chasm. When
+ the ascent is reached, one has a view of unsurpassed splendour.
+ The wooded Wye, which Wordsworth sang so rapturously and which
+ he saw with his mind's eye in the dinsome town, has no landscape
+ to compare in grandeur and beauty with the country round
+ Berriedale, viewed from this eminence. Hills of richest green,
+ diversified with purple heather; a back-ground of wild bog and
+ mountain; blue sea; and great banks of cloud shepherded over the
+ heights by the mighty winds.
+
+
+XXII.
+
+THE MINERS.
+
+ The afternoon is cool and calm,
+ Near by flashes the mighty sea,
+ Inland rise green, dewy hills,
+ Crowned with eye-bewitching trees.
+
+ Suddenly the eye is amazed and terrified,
+ A hideous procession sordid and grimy
+ Of men and boys, slaves of the coal-pit,
+ Is seen on the road, shaming the daylight.
+
+ All the day long they work in the darkness,
+ Far from the songs of the birds and the sunshine,
+ Now they return to their sordid villages,
+ Ill-smelling rows of comfortless cottages.
+
+ The rich and dainty ladies of fashion
+ Stand aloof from these swart coal-hewers,
+ Are ready to swoon as the air is poisoned
+ With odours of subterranean foulness.
+
+ Coarse of look, and of speech far coarser!
+ Laughter loud with no merriment in it!
+ No more soul than the beasts that perish!
+ These are the men despised for their toiling.
+
+
+XXIII.
+
+IN A COUNTRY GRAVEYARD.[38]
+
+ Man dreads the tomb, but dreads oblivion more;
+ He fears, when death has loosed the load of years,
+ His name shall cease to sound in mortal ears,
+ And, in the dusty darkness, all be o'er.
+ Some o'er the scrolls of ample science pore,
+ Tome after tome the nimble authors write,
+ And gain a meed of glory: soon the night
+ Comes: the author with his laurel disappears,
+ The painting fades, the marble busts decay,
+ The kingly structures fall in ruin down,
+ Devouring Time consumes the artist's prize,
+ The centuries like lightning pass away,
+ Or hurrying billows: emperor and clown
+ Sink with the myriads in impartial clay.
+
+ [38] Suggested by a French poem of Monsieur Desessarts, entitled
+ _Se Survivre_.
+
+
+XXIV.
+
+NO PLACE LIKE HOME.
+
+ Where'er these wandering footsteps lead me to,
+ Peak-dominated glen, hill where the sheep
+ Graze in the sun, mountains that ever keep
+ A solemn guard o'er lakes profound and blue,
+ Or undulating tracts of treeless view;
+ No matter if the rain and whirlwind sweep
+ The landscape, or the gladdening sunshine peep
+ Through muffled vapours that the winds undo;
+ Let it be night speckled with myriad fires,
+ Clear dawn, hot noon, or cool of dying day;
+ Be it in cities with their chiming spires,
+ Or country fields with fragrant ricks of hay;
+ Ever the voices of my hearth I hear,
+ And muse on those to me for ever dear.
+
+
+
+
+INDEX
+
+(Chiefly of Proper Names).
+
+
+Aberdeen, 217
+
+Acharacle, 21, 66
+
+Achnasheen, 11
+
+Ainsworth, Mr., 69
+
+Ajax, 89
+
+Aliens, 53
+
+Alness, 75
+
+Altnacealgach, 38
+
+Anacreon, 181
+
+Anglers, 36
+
+Anecdotes of Commercials, 255-277
+
+Appin, 311
+
+Ardeonaig, 78
+
+Ardersier, 42
+
+Argyll, Duke of, 25
+
+Arnisdale, 190
+
+Arnold, 130
+
+Arpafeelie, 158
+
+Asquith, Mr., 15
+
+Auldearn, 75
+
+Avebury, Lord, 198
+
+
+Bagpipes, 66
+
+Bain, Professor, 55
+
+Ballads, 99
+
+Banff theorist, 107
+
+Barrie, Mr., 66
+
+Battle of Brunanburh, 131
+
+Beauly, 75
+
+Ben Eay, 22
+
+Ben-na-Ceallich, 28
+
+Bennachie, 329
+
+Ben Screel, 191
+
+Ben Slioch, 22
+
+Beowulf, 131, 246
+
+Beveridge, Dr., 301
+
+Biggar, 98
+
+Biblia abiblia, 109
+
+Blackie, Professor, 19, 56
+
+Books, second-hand, 112
+
+Borders, 96, 99
+
+Boswell, 306, 313
+
+Brahan Seer, 291
+
+Bressay, 221, 229, 230, 233
+
+Broadford, 28, 55
+
+Browning, 306
+
+Buchanan, 61
+
+Bullers of Buchan, 220
+
+Burgess, Mr., 227
+
+Burke, 68
+
+Burns, 82, 144, 308
+
+Burton, 209
+
+
+Caithness father, a, 254
+
+Captains, 24
+
+Catholics, 153-155
+
+Chairmen, 85
+
+Chartists, 54
+
+Coll, 26, 69
+
+Columbus, 88
+
+Commercials (Chap. VI.), 255-277
+
+Competing School-subjects, 215
+
+Congested Districts Board, 34
+
+Connaught, H.R.H. Duke of, 42
+
+Connington, 119
+
+Corelli, Miss Marie, 44
+
+Cowper, 118
+
+Craignish, 168-9
+
+Crofters' cottages, 29-30
+
+Cromarty, 12
+
+Cullen, 47
+
+Cunningsburgh, 239
+
+
+Dancing, 21
+
+Dandie Dinmont, 99
+
+Defoe, 112
+
+Depopulation, 71, 189
+
+Dingwall, 44
+
+Dixon, Mr., 76, 278
+
+Doctors, 35
+
+Dodger, an artful, 173
+
+Dominies, insular, 180-1
+
+Dowden, Professor, 124
+
+Drimnin, 167
+
+Dryden, 118
+
+Dunbar, 218
+
+Dungeon lecture, a, 92
+
+Dunvegan, 28, 61, 292
+
+Durness, 11
+
+
+Educational (Chap. IV.), 180-216
+
+Education Department, 16, 141, 185
+
+Eigg, 26
+
+Emigration, 73-4
+
+Episcopalians, 156-8
+
+Essayists, 106
+
+Established Church, 145
+
+Ethical teaching, 141-3
+
+
+Fairies, 248, 285
+
+Fair Isle, 220, 250
+
+Faith Mission, 25
+
+Feeding the Hungry, 186, 194
+
+_Fernaig MS._, 197
+
+Fishing season, 253
+
+Fishwives, 249
+
+Fladibister, 239
+
+Fort George, 42
+
+Foulah, 250
+
+French Literature, 126
+
+Frere, Miss, 39, 40
+
+
+Gairloch, 278
+
+Gaelic, 17, 86
+
+Geologist, an ordained, 170
+
+Germany, made in, 218
+
+Gibbon, 300
+
+Gigha, 175
+
+Gipsies, 191
+
+Glasgow Fair, 96
+
+_Glasgow Herald_, quoted, 20, note
+
+Glenelg, 191
+
+Golspie, 192
+
+Grange, 299
+
+Grantown, 13
+
+Greatness, real, 81
+
+Greek, 124
+
+
+Haaf-words, 246
+
+Halsbury, Lord, 235
+
+Harlaw, 330
+
+Harris, 39
+
+Hector, Red, 320
+
+Hermits, 223
+
+Hobbes, 106
+
+Holyoake, Mr., 60
+
+Homer, 62
+
+Horace, 12, 115
+
+Hotels, 36
+
+Howlers, 209-214
+
+
+Inspectors, 252
+
+Inveraray, 307
+
+Inverness, 48, 58
+
+Iona, 309
+
+Islay, 79
+
+Isle Ornsay, 191
+
+
+Jakobsen, Dr., 245
+
+Jamieson, Dr., 103
+
+Johnson, 29, 43, 294, 306
+
+Josephus, 111
+
+Jura, 195
+
+
+Killin, 78
+
+Kilmartin, 76
+
+Kiltarlity, 75
+
+Kingussie, 326
+
+Kinlochewe, 22
+
+
+Lanark, 97
+
+Lang, Mr. Andrew, 17, 37
+
+Latin, 204
+
+Lerwick, 221-2
+
+Letter-boats, 299
+
+Lewis, 32, 33
+
+Libraries in schools, 16
+
+Liddesdale, 99
+
+Literature, 83
+
+Lochaber, 332
+
+Lochaline, 168
+
+Lochbuie, 304
+
+Loch Broom, 286
+
+Loch Eck, 79
+
+Loch Fyne, 317
+
+Loch Hourn, 190
+
+Lochmaddy, 36, 40
+
+Loch Maree, 283
+
+Loch Ranza, 196
+
+Loubet, M., 118
+
+
+Mallaig, 32
+
+Mary, the maid of the inn, 258
+
+Martin, Sir Theodore, 119
+
+_Men of Skye_, 150
+
+Military, 42
+
+Mill, Rev. Mr., 338-9
+
+Miller, an ordained, 172
+
+Milton, 154
+
+Miners, 49, 51, 52
+
+Mod, the, 18
+
+Model minister, a, 170
+
+Moderates, the, 144-5
+
+Moon, the, 77
+
+M.P.'s, 69
+
+Moray Firth, 46
+
+Morar, 154
+
+Morley, Lord, 118
+
+Muck, 267
+
+Munro, Dr. Neil, 44, 318
+
+Murray, Sir James, 103
+
+Music, 65-67, 141
+
+Macallisters, etc., 318
+
+Macbain, Dr., 58
+
+M'Cheyne, 90
+
+Macdonald, Dr. George, 48
+
+Macdonald's gratitude, 313
+
+Macdonald, Rev. Mr., 146
+
+M'Gregors, the, 91
+
+Macivors, 318
+
+Mackays, the, 337
+
+Macleod, 61
+
+
+Nicholson, Sheriff, 185
+
+_Night Thoughts_, 64
+
+Norse blood, 183, 225
+
+"North, Christopher," 107, 167
+
+
+Olaf and his bride, 279
+
+Old Parochials, 200
+
+Ossian, 326-339
+
+Ovid, 300
+
+
+Paisley, 89
+
+Parish Councils, 187
+
+Paul, St., 132
+
+Peat-reek, 29
+
+Peden, the prophet, 292
+
+Peterhead, 220
+
+Phillimore, Professor, 206, note
+
+Pigmentation, 133
+
+Plymouth Brethren, 162-5
+
+Poetry (Chap. VIII.), 340-367
+
+Policemen, 23
+
+Poolewe, 67, 76
+
+Pope, 115, 119, 123, 127-9
+
+Pope, Rev. Alexander, 334-6
+
+Portknockie, 47
+
+Portree, 27, 76
+
+Portsoy, 46, 47
+
+Postmen, 28
+
+Prince Charlie, 44
+
+
+Quarff, 234
+
+
+Raasay, 26
+
+Ramsay, Sir William, 207
+
+_Rasmie's Bdie_, 227
+
+Rats, 37
+
+Reay, 333-6
+
+"Red-riding Hood," 142
+
+Religious books, 18
+
+Rob Don, 337
+
+Robertson, Mr. J. M., 41
+
+"Rob Roy," 183
+
+Romance and Augustanism, 127
+
+Rosebery, Lord, 297
+
+Rosehearty, 49
+
+Rothes, 325
+
+Royal Engineers, 69
+
+Ruskin, 177
+
+Russian merchant, a, 254
+
+
+Sabbath, the, 148
+
+Saddell, 92
+
+St. Kilda, 297
+
+Salen, 90
+
+Sandwick, 246
+
+Saxon and Celt, 41, 131
+
+Scalloway, 62
+
+School Boards, 184
+
+Science and Literature, 198
+
+Scotch Dialect, 103
+
+Scott, 84, 107, 183, 199, 312, 315
+
+Sea-sickness, 31
+
+Sermons in metre, 159-161
+
+Session Records, 44
+
+Shakespeare's Sonnets, 119
+
+Shaws and Grants, 323
+
+Shetlands (Chap. V.), 217-254
+
+Sidlaws, 193
+
+Skye, 28, 61
+
+Sound of Sleat, 26
+
+Spencer, 229
+
+Spenser, 128
+
+Staffin, 66
+
+Stewart, Dugald, 208
+
+Stornoway, 32-4
+
+Strachur, 79
+
+Suetonius, 113
+
+Surprises, 195
+
+Sutherland, Duchess of, 33
+
+
+Taisch, 290
+
+Tarbolton, 102
+
+Tannahill, 54, 90
+
+Tea-drinking, 39
+
+Tee-names, 47
+
+Teeth, 40
+
+Tennyson, 130
+
+Tiree, 301
+
+"Tom Eunan," 322
+
+Trossachs, 315
+
+Truants, 196
+
+
+Ullapool, 290
+
+
+Village halls, 75
+
+Virgil, 24, 219
+
+
+Ward, Mrs. H., 182
+
+War Office, 45
+
+Wason, Mr. C., 250
+
+Watson, Mr. William, 118, 218
+
+Weaving, 53
+
+Weir, Mr. Galloway, 15, 70
+
+Whalsay, 193
+
+Whiting Bay, 197
+
+Wordsworth, 21, 128, 309
+
+
+Xenophon, 122
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ Publisher & Bookseller
+ by
+ Special Appointment
+ To Her late Majesty
+ Queen Victoria.
+
+
+A LIST OF BOOKS
+PUBLISHED BY
+ALEX. GARDNER, PAISLEY.
+
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+
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+
+ _Chalmers._--Chalmers' Caledonia. 25s. and 40s. per vol. Vol.
+ VIII.--the Index--sold separately, 15s. and 25s. nett.
+
+ _Cheviot._--Proverbs, Proverbial Expressions, and Popular Rhymes
+ of Scotland. By Andrew Cheviot. 6s. nett.
+
+ _"Claverhouse."_--Gretna Green and Its Traditions. By
+ "Claverhouse." 1s. nett.
+
+ _Craigie._--Scandinavian Folk Lore. By W. A. Craigie, M.A.,
+ F.S.A. 7s. 6d.
+
+ _Drummond._--Life of Robert Nicoll. By the late P. R. Drummond,
+ Perth. 5s.
+
+ _Edgar._--Old Church Life in Scotland. By Andrew Edgar, D.D. 7s.
+ 6d.
+
+ ---- The Bibles of England. By Andrew Edgar, D.D. 7s. 6d.
+
+ _Eyre-Todd._--The Glasgow Poets. Edited by George Eyre-Todd. 7s.
+ 6d. nett.
+
+ _Fergusson._--Alexander Hume. By R. Menzies Fergusson, M.A. 5s.
+ nett.
+
+ ---- A Student of Nature. By R. Menzies Fergusson, M.A. 4s.
+ nett.
+
+ ---- A Village Poet. By R. Menzies Fergusson, M.A. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- Rambles in the Far North. By R. Menzies Fergusson, M.A. 3s.
+ and 2s.
+
+ ---- Logie: A Parish History. By R. Menzies Fergusson, M.A. 2
+ vols. 15s. nett. each vol.
+
+ ---- The Viking's Bride, and other Poems. By R. Menzies
+ Fergusson, M.A. 3s.
+
+ _Ferguson._--The King's Friend. By Dugald Ferguson. 3s. 6d.
+
+ _Fergusson._--The Poems of Robert Fergusson. Edited by Robt.
+ Ford. 5s. nett.
+
+ _Fife._--And I Knew It Not. By David Fife. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Findlay._--Medici Carmina. By William Findlay, M.D. 3s. 6d.
+ nett.
+
+ ---- Ayrshire Idylls of Other Days. By "George Umber." 5s.
+
+ ---- In My City Garden. By "George Umber." 6s.
+
+ ---- Robert Burns and the Medical Profession. By William
+ Findlay, M.D. ("George Umber.") 6s. nett.
+
+ _Fittis._--Curious Episodes in Scottish History. By R. Scott
+ Fittis. 6s.
+
+ ---- Heroines of Scotland. By R. Scott Fittis. 6s.
+
+ ---- Romantic Narratives from Scottish History and Tradition. By
+ R. Scott Fittis. 6s.
+
+ _Fleming._--Ancient Castles and Mansions of Stirling Nobility.
+ By J. S. Fleming, F.S.A. 21s. nett.
+
+ _Ford._--American Humourists. Selected and edited by Robert
+ Ford. 3s. 6d.
+
+ ---- Auld Scots Ballants. 6s.
+
+ ---- Ballads of Bairnhood. Selected and edited by Robert Ford.
+ 5s.
+
+ ---- Ballads of Babyland. Selected and edited by Robert Ford.
+ 5s.
+
+ ---- Children's Rhymes, Games, Songs, and Stories. By R. Ford.
+ 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ----Ford's Own Humorous Scotch Stories. 1st and 2nd Series, 1s.
+ each nett. Both Series in 1 vol., 2s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- Poems and Songs of Alexander Rodger. Edited by Robert Ford.
+ 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- Tayside Songs and other Verses. By Robert Ford. 3s. 6d.
+ nett.
+
+ ---- The Harp of Perthshire. Edited by Robert Ford. 15s. and 7s.
+ 6d.
+
+ ---- Thistledown. By Robert Ford. 3s. 6d. and 1s. nett.
+
+ ---- Vagabond Songs and Ballads of Scotland. Edited by R. Ford.
+ 5s. nett.
+
+ ---- Miller's "Willie Winkie," and other Songs and Poems. Edited
+ by Robert Ford. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- The Heroines of Burns. By Robert Ford. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- Popular American Readings. Popular English Readings.
+ Popular Irish Readings. Popular Scotch Readings. Edited by
+ Robert Ford. 1s. each. Also in one vol., 4s.
+
+ _Forsyth._--Elocution: Simple Rules and Exercises for Correct
+ and Expressive Reading and Reciting. By John Forsyth. 1s. 6d.
+ nett. Gardner's Verse for Schools. Parts I. and II. 6d. nett
+ each part.
+
+ _Grosart._--The Verse and Miscellaneous Prose of Alexander
+ Wilson, the Ornithologist of America. Edited by Rev. A. B.
+ Grosart, LL.D. 12s. 6d.
+
+ _Hogg._--A Tour in the Highlands in 1803. By James Hogg. 2s. 6d.
+
+ _Holmes._--The Teaching of Modern Languages in Schools and
+ Colleges. By D. T. Holmes, B.A. 2s. nett.
+
+ ---- Literary Touring in the Scottish Highlands and Islands. By
+ D. T. Holmes, B.A. 4s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Johnson._--A Journey to the Western Islands of Scotland in
+ 1773. By Samuel Johnson, LL.D. New Edition. 2s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Kennedy._--David Kennedy, the Scottish Singer: Reminiscences of
+ his Life and Work. By Marjory Kennedy. And Singing Round the
+ World: a Narrative of his Colonial Tours. By David Kennedy, Jun.
+ 7s. 6d.
+
+ _Kennedy._--Reminiscences of Walt Whitman. By William Sloane
+ Kennedy, Camden, N.J. 6s.
+
+ _Ker._--Mother Lodge, Kilwinning, "The Ancient Lodge of
+ Scotland." By Rev. W. Lee Ker, Kilwinning. 4s. 6d.
+
+ _Kilgour._--Twenty Years on Ben Nevis. By Wm. T. Kilgour. 2/6 &
+ 1/6 nett.
+
+ ---- Lochaber in War and Peace. Illustrated. By Wm. T. Kilgour.
+ 7s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _King._--Shipwreck Wood: A Story of "Some that lift and some
+ that lean." By Carrol King. 2s.
+
+ _Mackean._--The King's Quhair. Done into English by Wm. Mackean.
+ 3s. 6d.
+
+ _M'Gown._--Ten Bunyan Talks. By G. W. T. M'Gown. 2s. nett.
+
+ ---- A Primer of Burns. By G. W. T. M'Gown. 1s. nett.
+
+ _MacKenzie._--History of the Outer Hebrides. By William C.
+ MacKenzie. 12s. 6d. nett. Large Paper, 21s.
+
+ _MacKenzie._--The Lady of Hirta. By Wm. C. MacKenzie, F.S.A.
+ Scot. 6s.
+
+ ---- A Short History of the Scottish Highlands and Isles. By Wm.
+ C. MacKenzie. New Edition. 5s. nett.
+
+ _Menzies._--Provincial Sketches and other Verses. By G. K.
+ Menzies. 2s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Menzies._--Illustrated Guide to the Vale of Yarrow. By James M.
+ Menzies. 1s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Metcalfe._--SS. Ninian and Machor--the Legends of, in the
+ Scottish Dialect of the Fourteenth Century. By W. M. Metcalfe,
+ D.D. 10s. 6d. nett. On Whatman Paper, 15s. nett.
+
+ ---- A History of the Shire of Renfrew from the Earliest Times
+ down to the Close of the Nineteenth Century. By W. M. Metcalfe.
+ D.D., F.S.A. 25s. nett. On Whatman Paper, 40s.
+
+ ---- History of Paisley. By W. M. Metcalfe, D.D. Illustrated.
+
+ ---- Charters and Documents relating to the Burgh of Paisley. By
+ W. M. Metcalfe, D.D. 21s. nett.
+
+ ---- Ancient Lives of the Scottish Saints. Translated by W. M.
+ Metcalfe, D.D. 15s. On Whatman Paper, 25s.
+
+ ---- Pinkerton's Lives of the Scottish Saints. Revised and
+ enlarged by W. M. Metcalfe, D.D. 2 vols. 15s. per vol.
+
+ ---- The Natural Truth of Christianity. Edited by W. M.
+ Metcalfe, D.D. 5s.
+
+ ---- The Reasonableness of Christianity. By W. M. Metcalfe, D.D.
+ 5s.
+
+ _Metcalfe._--The Great Palace of Constantinople. Translated from
+ the Greek of Dr. A. G. Paspates, by William Metcalfe, B.D. 10s.
+ 6d.
+
+ _Miller._--Selections from the Works of Hugh Miller. Edited by
+ W. M. Mackenzie, M.A., F.S.A. (Scot.). 3s. 6d.
+
+ _Mitchell._--A Popular History of the Highlands and Gaelic
+ Scotland. By Dugald Mitchell, M.D., J.P. 12s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Mitchell._--Jephtha: a Drama. Translated by A. G. Mitchell. 3s.
+ 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- John the Baptist: a Drama. Translated by A. G. Mitchell.
+ 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Robertson._--Practical First Aid. By Wm. Robertson, M.D.,
+ D.P.H. 1s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- The Stone of Dunalter. By Wm. Robertson, M.D., D.P.H. 3s.
+ 6d.
+
+ Scotland Eighty Years Ago. Thirty-two Fine Copperplate Etchings
+ of the Chief Towns and their Surroundings. 5 5s. to subscribers
+ only.
+
+ _Smith._--The New Testament in Braid Scots. Rendered by Rev. Wm.
+ Wye Smith. New Edition. 6s. nett.
+
+ _Symington._--Hints to Our Boys. By A. J. Symington. 1s. 6d.
+
+ _Tannahill._--Poems and Songs of Robert Tannahill. Edited by the
+ late David Semple, F.S.A. New Edition. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Taylor._--The Autobiography of Peter Taylor. 3s. 6d.
+
+ _Taylor._--Twelve Favourite Hymns: their Messages and their
+ Writers. By Rev. Wm. Taylor, M.A. 2s. nett.
+
+ _Wright._--Laird Nicoll's Kitchen, and other Sketches of
+ Scottish Life and Manners. By Joseph Wright. 2s. 6d. nett.
+
+
+
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+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Literary Tours in The Highlands and
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+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Literary Tours in The Highlands and Islands
+of Scotland, by Daniel Turner Holmes
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Literary Tours in The Highlands and Islands of Scotland
+
+Author: Daniel Turner Holmes
+
+Release Date: June 20, 2009 [EBook #29178]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LITERARY TOURS ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Susan Skinner and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
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+</pre>
+
+
+<h1 style="margin: 8em;"><i>LITERARY TOURS</i></h1>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 367px;">
+<img src="images/title.jpg" width="367" height="600" alt="decorative titlepage" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<h1><i>Literary Tours in<br />
+The Highlands and<br />
+Islands of Scotland</i></h1>
+
+<h2><i>By D. T. Holmes, B.A.</i></h2>
+
+<p class='center'>"Gaudia, discursus, nostri est farrago libelli"<br />
+<span style="text-align: right;">&mdash;<i>Juvenal</i>, i. 74</span></p>
+
+<p class='center' style="margin-top: 4em;">
+<i>PAISLEY: ALEXANDER GARDNER</i><br />
+Publisher by Appointment to the late Queen Victoria<br />
+1909
+</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<div class='block'>
+<p class='center'><i>To</i><br />
+<span class="smcap"><i>James Coats, Junr., Esq.</i></span>,<br />
+<i>Ferguslie House, Paisley.</i></p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza" style="font-style: italic">
+<span class="i0">You, but for whom I'd never been<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Much further north than Aberdeen;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Whose mandate sent my willing feet<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To realms of heather, broom, and peat:<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Accept this record of my tours<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">As something less my own than yours.<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p style="text-align: right;">
+<i>D. T. HOLMES.</i><br />
+</p>
+</div>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="PREFACE" id="PREFACE"></a><i>PREFACE.</i></h2>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem" style="font-style: italic"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">White stands the long Kilpatrick row<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of hills with deep and dazzling snow,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And eastward, in a glimmering haze,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Stretch to the Forth the Campsie Braes.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">But see! beyond the Clyde, a stain<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of smoke that runs across the plain,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And flecks for miles the vivid gleam:<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">It is the tireless steed of steam.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">An old acquaintance! Ben and Strath<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Daily behold his thunderous path,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">That ceases not, until he feels<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The breeze of Mallaig cool his wheels.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">And Memory, fondly gazing back<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">On many a journey by that track<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of splendour, would, at home, retrace<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The charms and lore of every place;<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Yea, pass, in thought, to storied Skye,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Where all the glens in glamour lie;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And, lightly scorning gust and spray,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Leap o'er the Minch to Stornoway.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">And many a northern beach besides,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Splashed by the foam of racing tides,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Rises in thought: from here to there,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Let Fancy's coinage pay the fare,&mdash;<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Fancy, that wafts us o'er the main<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To utmost Thule and home again,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Through mingled din of sea and sky,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Even in the twinkling of an eye.<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p style="text-align: right;"><i>D. T. H.</i></p>
+<p><i>
+<span style="margin-left: 2em;">Ingleholm, Bridge of Weir,<br /></span>
+<span style="margin-left: 4em;">16th January, 1909.</span></i>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">{5}</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="CONTENTS" id="CONTENTS"></a>CONTENTS.</h2>
+
+<ul class="TOC"><li><span class="ralign">PAGE</span><br /></li>
+<li><a href="#CHAPTER_I">CHAPTER I.</a>&mdash;<span class="smcap">Introductory,</span> <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_9">9</a></span>
+
+<p>Village libraries&mdash;Difficulties of travel&mdash;Literary Societies in the
+Highlands&mdash;Gaelic books&mdash;Happiness and geniality of natives&mdash;Oban
+to Gairloch&mdash;Winter sailing&mdash;A crofting village&mdash;Horrors
+of the Minch&mdash;Notes on Lewis&mdash;Highland doctors&mdash;Hotels
+and anglers&mdash;Recent books&mdash;Military&mdash;Moray Firth&mdash;Among
+the miners&mdash;Handloom weaving&mdash;Professor Blackie
+and the Highlands.</p></li>
+
+<li><a href="#CHAPTER_II">CHAPTER II.</a>&mdash;<span class="smcap">Music, Speeches, and Literature,</span> <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_60">60</a></span>
+
+<p>Scotch a reading nation&mdash;Hardships of students in old days&mdash;Homer
+in Scalloway&mdash;When education ends&mdash;Objects of
+chapter&mdash;Music&mdash;M.P.'s&mdash;Rural depopulation&mdash;Its causes&mdash;Emigration&mdash;Village
+halls&mdash;The moon&mdash;A lecture in Islay&mdash;Mental
+and material wealth&mdash;Real greatness&mdash;A Highland
+laird on literature&mdash;Varieties of chairmen&mdash;"Coming to the
+point"&mdash;Moral obligation&mdash;Compliment to Paisley&mdash;Oratory
+at Salen&mdash;Lecture in a dungeon&mdash;Surprises&mdash;A visit to the
+Borders&mdash;Tarbolton&mdash;Scotch language&mdash;Choice books&mdash;The
+essayists&mdash;A Banff theory&mdash;Goldsmith in Gaelic&mdash;<i>Biblia abiblia</i>&mdash;Favourites
+for the road&mdash;Horace&mdash;Shakespeare's Sonnets&mdash;Xenophon&mdash;French
+literature and journalism&mdash;Romance and
+Augustanism&mdash;Victorian writers&mdash;Celt and Saxon.</p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6"></a></span></li>
+
+<li><a href="#CHAPTER_III">CHAPTER III.</a>&mdash;<span class="smcap">Ecclesiastical,</span> <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_134">134</a></span>
+
+<p>Sectarian feeling&mdash;Typical anecdotes&mdash;Music and religion&mdash;Ethical
+teaching in schools&mdash;The Moderates&mdash;A savoury book&mdash;The
+Sabbath&mdash;"The Men of Skye"&mdash;The auldest kirk&mdash;The
+Episcopal Church&mdash;An interlude of metre&mdash;The Christian
+Brethren&mdash;Drimnin in Morven&mdash;Craignish&mdash;A model minister&mdash;Ministerial
+trials in olden times&mdash;An artful dodger&mdash;Some
+anecdotes from Gigha&mdash;Growing popularity of Ruskin.</p></li>
+
+<li><a href="#CHAPTER_IV">CHAPTER IV.</a>&mdash;<span class="smcap">Educational,</span> <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_180">180</a></span>
+
+<p>Some Insular Dominies&mdash;Education Act of 1872&mdash;Education in the
+Highlands&mdash;Feeding the hungry&mdash;Parish Council boarders&mdash;Dwindling
+attendances&mdash;Arnisdale&mdash;Golspie Technical School&mdash;On
+the Sidlaws&mdash;Some surprises&mdash;Arran schools&mdash;Science
+and literature&mdash;Study of Scott&mdash;The old classical dominie&mdash;Vogue
+of Latin in former times&mdash;Teachers and examinations&mdash;Howlers&mdash;Competing
+subjects.</p></li>
+
+<li><a href="#CHAPTER_V">CHAPTER V.</a>&mdash;<span class="smcap">A Trip To Shetland,</span> <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_217">217</a></span>
+
+<p>Aberdeen&mdash;En route&mdash;Lerwick&mdash;Past and present saints&mdash;Some
+notes on the islands&mdash;A Shetland poet&mdash;A visit to Bressay&mdash;From
+Lerwick to Sandwick&mdash;Quarff&mdash;"That holy man, Noah"&mdash;Fladibister&mdash;Cunningsburgh&mdash;"Keeping
+off"&mdash;The indignant
+elder&mdash;Torquil Halcrow&mdash;Philology&mdash;A Sandwick gentleman&mdash;Local
+tales&mdash;Foulah and Fair Isle&mdash;The fishing
+season.</p></li>
+
+<li><a href="#CHAPTER_VI">CHAPTER VI.</a>&mdash;<span class="smcap">Commercial Travellers and
+Their Anecdotes,</span> <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_255">255</a></span>
+
+<p>Trials of commercials&mdash;The two-est-faced knave&mdash;Mary, the maid
+of the inn&mdash;Anecdotes of the smoking-room: Sonnet to
+Raleigh&mdash;Peelin's below the tree&mdash;"She's away!"&mdash;A mean
+house&mdash;One of the director's wives&mdash;Temperance hotels&mdash;A
+memorial window&mdash;The blasted heath&mdash;The day for it&mdash;The
+converted drummer&mdash;A circular ticket&mdash;A compound possessive&mdash;Sixteen
+medals&mdash;"She's auld, and she's thin, and she'll keep"&mdash;The
+will o' the dead&mdash;Sorry for London&mdash;"Raither unceevil"&mdash;An
+unwelcome recitation&mdash;A word in season&mdash;A Nairn
+critic&mdash;A grand day for it&mdash;A pro-Boer&mdash;"Falls of Bruar,
+only, please!"&mdash;A bad case of nerves.</p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7"></a></span></li>
+
+<li><a href="#CHAPTER_VII">CHAPTER VII.</a>&mdash;<span class="smcap">Legends and Literary Notabilia,</span> <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_278">278</a></span>
+
+<p>Gairloch folk-lore: Prince Olaf and his bride&mdash;A laird who had
+seen a fairy&mdash;Tales from Loch Broom: The dance of death&mdash;The
+Kildonan midwife&mdash;The magic herring&mdash;Taisch&mdash;Antiquities
+of Dunvegan&mdash;Miscellaneous terrors&mdash;St. Kilda&mdash;Lady
+Grange&mdash;Pierless Tiree&mdash;Lochbuie in Mull&mdash;Inveraray Castle&mdash;The
+sacred isle&mdash;Appin&mdash;Macdonald's gratitude&mdash;Notes on
+the Trossachs&mdash;Lochfyneside: Macivors, Macvicars, and
+Macallisters&mdash;Red Hector&mdash;Macphail of Colonsay&mdash;Tales from
+Speyside: Tom Eunan!&mdash;Shaws and Grants&mdash;The wishing
+well&mdash;Ossian and Macpherson&mdash;At the foot o' Bennachie&mdash;Harlaw&mdash;Lochaber
+reivers&mdash;Reay and Twickenham&mdash;Rob
+Donn&mdash;Rev. Mr. Mill of Dunrossness.</p></li>
+
+<li><a href="#CHAPTER_VIII">CHAPTER VIII.</a>&mdash;<span class="smcap">Metrical and Supplementary,</span> <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_340">340</a></span>
+
+<p>Arrival of the Mail-train at a Highland Station&mdash;Defoe, the Father
+of Journalism&mdash;A Village Toper&mdash;A Reverend Hellenist&mdash;Antigone&mdash;Shadows
+of the Manse&mdash;"My Heart's in the
+Highlands"&mdash;Saddell, Kintyre&mdash;Springtime in Perthshire&mdash;Dr.
+George Macdonald's Creed&mdash;Abbotsford&mdash;Carlyle&mdash;Shelley&mdash;Picture
+in an Inn&mdash;Rain-storm at Loch Awe&mdash;Kinlochewe&mdash;General
+Wade&mdash;Sound of Raasay in December&mdash;Les
+Neiges d'&nbsp;Antan&mdash;The Islands of the Ness&mdash;American
+Tourist Loquitur&mdash;The Miners&mdash;In a Country Graveyard&mdash;No
+Place like Home.</p></li>
+
+<li><a href="#INDEX">INDEX</a>, <span class="ralign"><a href="#Page_369">369</a></span></li></ul>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">{9}</a></span></p><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8"></a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h1>LITERARY TOURING.</h1>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_I" id="CHAPTER_I"></a>CHAPTER I.<br />
+<span style="font-size: 75%;">INTRODUCTORY.</span></h2>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>Village libraries&mdash;Difficulties of travel&mdash;Literary Societies in
+the Highlands&mdash;Gaelic books&mdash;Happiness and geniality of
+natives&mdash;Oban to Gairloch&mdash;Winter sailing&mdash;A crofting
+village&mdash;Horrors of the Minch&mdash;Notes on Lewis&mdash;Highland
+doctors&mdash;Hotels and anglers&mdash;Recent books&mdash;Military&mdash;Moray
+Firth&mdash;Among the miners&mdash;Handloom weaving&mdash;Professor Blackie and
+the Highlands.</p></div>
+
+
+<h3>VILLAGE LIBRARIES.</h3>
+
+<p>At pretty frequent intervals, during the last four years, I have sallied
+forth from my home in Renfrewshire, north, south, east, and west, to
+some of the most remote and isolated nooks of insular and provincial
+Scotland, on a mission so uncommon as to justify the writing of a book
+of impressions and experiences. The Highlands and Islands of Scotland
+are, of course, visited every summer by a great host of excursionists,
+who go thither to fish, play golf, lounge, climb hills, and otherwise
+picturesquely disport themselves. A few earnest devotees<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">{10}</a></span> of science
+spend their holidays botanising in the glens, scanning the geological
+strata, looking for fossils, measuring the outlines of brochs and
+prehistoric forts, or collecting relics of Culdee churches. My journeys
+were undertaken for none of the objects named: they were entirely
+connected with <i>libraries</i> and <i>lecturing</i>, and, being undertaken mainly
+in the months of winter and spring, they have given me the opportunity
+of noting a great many interesting particulars that the summer
+traveller, bent on recreation or science, cannot be expected to notice.</p>
+
+<p><i>I do not think any finer gift could be given to a village community
+than a collection of useful and entertaining books.</i> The libraries with
+which my work was connected were sent, free of charge, to strath and
+glen, and nothing was asked in return, except that the volumes should be
+well housed and delivered to the people to read by some local librarian.
+You will find these libraries in all the townships of the Hebrides, from
+Ness in Lewis, down the long chain of islands, to Islay and Jura. About
+thirty of them are established in the Shetlands, and as many in the
+Orkneys. Scores of little villages in Aberdeen, Ross, Sutherland,
+Argyle, Bute, and Perth, have been gratuitously supplied with them. The
+same is true of many a weather-beaten, quaint, red-tiled little
+fishing-village along the shores of the Moray Firth. In the barracks of
+Fort-George, Inverness, and Dingwall, the soldiers can solace their
+leisure hours by delightful, patriotic, and instructive reading,
+furnished to them without money and without price. Even in quiet,
+pastoral Roxburghshire,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">{11}</a></span> at a spot near the birthplace of Dandie
+Dinmont, you will find one of these serviceable collections of books.</p>
+
+<p>It is a pleasure to me to be able to say that I have visited a great
+number of the districts mentioned, for the purpose of speaking to the
+people in a familiar and non-academic way on some of the books which
+have been presented to them. In this way I have spoken to about 40,000
+people, the majority of whom had never previously been present at a
+discourse on a literary topic. Most of them had, of course, been in the
+habit of attending religious services and election meetings: but neither
+of these is the very best preparation for a literary evening. Some of my
+experiences have been intensely amusing, and I do not think any lecturer
+has ever, as regards rough roads, inclement weather, and amazing votes
+of thanks, had quite the same joys and sorrows as I have come through. I
+have often laughed (good-naturedly, I hope) at what came under my
+notice, but I am not so conceited as to suppose that the hilarity was
+always on one side.</p>
+
+
+<h3>DIFFICULTIES OF TRAVEL.</h3>
+
+<p>It can very easily be seen that he who proposed to visit all the above
+districts would have some hard and continuous work in prospect. Even on
+the mainland of Scotland there are many villages of difficult access.
+The nearest railway station to Durness on Loch Eriboll is Lairg, sixty
+miles away. Gairloch in Ross-shire is thirty miles distant from the
+railway station of Achnasheen. In the great county of Aberdeen there are
+a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">{12}</a></span> good many villages that can only be reached by long and tiresome
+driving in a mail coach. At different parts of the Moray Firth little
+townships lie huddled at the foot of precipitous cliffs, and, at first
+sight, seem inaccessible except by sea. To one accustomed to the
+sumptuous equipment of the Clyde steamers, even the journey to the
+shrine of Hugh Miller at Cromarty is pleasant only in good weather: a
+wee, puffing, hard-wrought steam-launch takes a slant course of five
+miles from Invergordon to Cromarty pier, accomplishing the journey in
+forty-five minutes. The fare between the two piers is one shilling, and
+there is no extra charge for the use of the cabin, which is reached by a
+perpendicular and very slippery ladder, and would be better suited for
+philosophical reflection in a gale if the crew did not use it as a
+store-room for engine-grease and old oilskins. In the Outer Islands,
+Watt's machine is, of course, unknown, and many of the roads which
+imaginative cartographers have inserted in their maps, will perhaps be
+finished when the last trump is about to sound.</p>
+
+<p>Railway travelling, too, is attended with some inconveniences in winter.
+The Glasgow-Inverness train, for example, may, on the coldest night of
+the year, break down at Dalnaspidal; and in such a case the passengers
+will have to sit, entertained by howling blasts, till a fresh engine
+comes up from Blair Atholl. Such an experience was once mine, and I
+always think of it when I read the ninth ode of Horace's first book.
+Outside were the great snow-sheeted mountains, and the moon was gazing
+in blear-eyed compassion through a screen<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">{13}</a></span> of haze. From end to end of
+the train resounded the rhythmic beat of cold-footed passengers striving
+to bring some warmth of blood to the toes.</p>
+
+<p>In Grantown-on-Spey, I got an uncommon surprise one February. There had
+been some snow in the Lowlands, but at Grantown the fall had been
+excessive, and the roads were encumbered. On arriving at the station,
+the travellers saw a sleigh waiting to convey them to the hotel. The
+conveyance suited the weather admirably, and the horses seemed to be
+enjoying the fun. No wheeled vehicles were to be seen: even the milkmen
+sleighed their commodity from door to door. "<i>If we had a brace of
+grand-dukes and a bomb or two, we could fancy ourselves in Russia</i>,"
+said the facetious hotel-porter. He asserted that it was well for the
+country when abundant snow came down early in the year. It seems that
+Grantown is apt to suffer from drought in a hot summer following on a
+rainless spring. A copious fall of snow early in the year is retained in
+the mountains, and ensures plenty of moisture during the months of heat.
+Moisture is needed in summer, for the population is trebled then, and
+most tourists require a little water, sometimes, to qualify their
+potations.</p>
+
+<p>It is evident from what I have said, that the pedantic and vexatious
+system adopted by Euclid in his Elements of Geometry could not be
+employed in arranging the chapters of this book. The stern
+consecutiveness of that immortal but unpopular author would be out of
+place in describing journeys which might have been taken in the reverse
+order without much difference in the results.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">{14}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h3>LITERARY SOCIETIES IN THE HIGHLANDS.</h3>
+
+<p>Winter with its long nights gives leisure to the remote glensmen and
+crofters. The distractions of the town are not there to take their minds
+away from study and meditation. Books may not be abundant, but what
+literature is available is eagerly fastened on and thoroughly digested.
+In the Lowlands we skip over our books and know nothing thoroughly. The
+Highlander, with his limited means and choice, is forced to peruse and
+re-peruse, even though he has nothing more lively than Boston's
+<i>Fourfold State</i>, or Hervey's <i>Meditations among the Tombs</i>. But he
+knows well what he has so often read, and is quite competent to discuss
+and criticise his little row of volumes. A few of the Highland townships
+have literary societies in which every variety of subject is debated:
+the meetings are usually opened with prayer, but not always closed in
+that way. There is a tiny clachan, some twenty miles distant from
+Ullapool, on the side of a hill, in view of the grotesque peaks of
+Suilven, which has a most flourishing literary society&mdash;with president,
+vice-president, rules, minutes, and committees. Not once, but twice a
+week does this society meet, and when the full moon is propitious for a
+clear journey home through the morasses, the debates are often unduly
+prolonged and the chairman's summing-up luxuriantly prolix. How many
+politicians of note in London have been raked fore and aft in that
+little schoolroom! What measures and enactments, plausible to the
+unthinking metropolitans, have been cut and slashed there, while the
+conscious moon, gleaming in at<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">{15}</a></span> the window, strove vainly to disperse
+the loquacious throng! Listen to the chairman's modest remarks: "<i>I do
+not wish</i>," he says, "<i>to embarrass the Government, but....</i>" Unthinking
+Asquith, here is a man who does not wish to embarrass you; he could do
+it, but he is merciful! You may breathe freely, you and your Cabinet,
+for spite of your slips and blunders, the Ross-shire crofters will not
+turn round and rend you. They do not wish to embarrass the Government;
+but have a care: their eyes are on you, and forbearance has its limits.
+Think not because they live remote from train and telegraph, that you
+are immune from their censure. Far from it! Round the hill-side at a
+stated hour every day, in shine or shower, gust or calm, comes the
+mail-coach of King Edward VII., bringing its pile of letters and
+newspapers. I see the little throng of village politicians, eager-eyed,
+peruse the latest parliamentary news. There they get all the needed
+pabulum for the next political debate. If the answers to Mr. Galloway
+Weir have been shifty and evasive, it will go hard with the Government
+to-night in the little schoolroom, and the plaster will fall in showers
+of dust from the ceiling as the iniquities of our rulers are ruthlessly
+shown up. I should not like to feel the rough side of that chairman's
+tongue.</p>
+
+<p>A library of representative English works, presented to a remote
+provincial society like the one I speak of, is a centre of unspeakable
+entertainment and instruction. The <i>entertainment</i>, during the long
+nights of winter, when the natives gather round the ingle and someone
+reads aloud, is a very palpable addition to the joys of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">{16}</a></span> life. The
+<i>instruction</i> is perhaps slower in coming, but is none the less sure.
+Only by comparison of books can their relative value as literature be
+determined. Bigotry and narrow-mindedness in literature and religion are
+almost always the result of ignorance. In the Highlands it is oftenest
+the local teacher who is the librarian, and the books are accommodated
+in the school. The teacher is thus able to make his instruction in
+literature vivid and interesting to his senior pupils; he can authorise
+a pupil to take a particular volume home and require an essay to be
+written on it within a given time; and he can, in school, read aloud
+typical passages of good prose to supplement the limited extracts of the
+class text-books. The books have been selected (i.) to form useful
+reading for adults; (ii.) to supply suitable pabulum for literary
+societies; (iii.) to aid the schemes of the Education Department in
+connection with what is called the "Supplementary Course of Instruction
+in English Literature." The selection of the books for the use of senior
+scholars has been, as a rule, easy enough. Dictionaries of the French
+and German languages, good atlases, and works of reference have, in most
+cases been included.<a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">{17}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h3>GAELIC BOOKS.</h3>
+
+<p>In selecting the books specially intended for the perusal of the older
+people, an attempt is made to meet the needs of the various localities.
+In the bi-lingual districts there is always a shelf of Gaelic books,
+such as the original texts of Norman Macleod's exquisite sermons,
+M'Rury's religious compilations, Macleod's clever poetry <i>The Lyre of
+the Grove</i>, Campbell's <i>Popular Tales of the West Highlands</i>, and Magnus
+Maclean's manuals of Celtic Literature. There being a distinct dearth of
+comely Celtic reading that the ordinary native can understand,
+arrangements have been made for the translation into Gaelic in several
+volumes by competent scholars, of extracts from Mr. Lang's <i>True Story
+Book</i>, and from other sources.</p>
+
+<p>The regrettable thing about Gaelic is its hopelessly bewildering
+spelling. The sounds are pleasing and melodious in a high degree, but
+they hide themselves behind most peculiar disguisements of print. Most
+people will admit, I think, that a language which spells Avon,
+<i>Amhuinn</i>, and Rory, <i>Ruaridh</i>, would benefit greatly by a visit from
+Pitman. The utility of sane phonetics was brought home to me very
+forcibly by a story I heard from a gentleman in the west of Skye. This
+gentleman is an excellent English scholar, can<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">{18}</a></span> speak Gaelic but is
+unable to read it. He got a letter once from St. Kilda composed by an
+islander who spelt Gaelic by ear and not according to the awe-inspiring
+orthography of the dictionary. The gentleman, who could not have made
+out the letter had it been spelt correctly, was able to read it as it
+stood, without the slightest hesitation. If a more rational spelling
+were generally adopted, an immense number of Lowlanders who are
+interested in philology, would study the grand old tongue, were it only
+to understand the numberless place names of Celtic origin that occur in
+British geography.</p>
+
+<p>What I have said about Gaelic spelling explains the inability of a large
+percentage of the population to read a book printed in the native idiom.
+What is the use then, it may be asked, of translating the <i>True Story
+Book</i>? The answer is obvious to one who knows the Highlands. In the
+Outer Isles there are many old people who know no English and whose only
+literary solace comes from listening to others reading. At the evening
+<i>ceilidh</i> a competent reader of Gaelic can usually be found. Then,
+again, we are likely to see, in the near future, a notable revival of
+interest in the old language, consequent on the efforts of the <i>Mod</i>,
+and on the recognition of Gaelic by the Department as a fit subject of
+study in the Highland schools. Such a revival, to be lasting in its
+effects, must be enforced and sustained by a constant supply of pure and
+interesting Gaelic books, both native and translated. Religious books
+there are in abundance, thanks to the zeal of the Protestant clergy.
+Needless to say, the compilations<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">{19}</a></span> of the Dean of Lismore are as
+unintelligible to the modern Gael as Cynewulf is to a London cab-driver.
+I should like to see a round dozen of good English novels put into
+Gaelic by translators who knew the idiom thoroughly.</p>
+
+<p>The fervour displayed at Highland gatherings, admirable as it is from a
+sentimental point of view, is apt to grow cold at the prospect of
+laborious work to be done. It is not creditable that the great majority
+of Gaelic speakers are unable to read a page of Gaelic print. Nor is it
+creditable that those who can both read and speak, do so little for the
+interpretation of the literature. Blackie's books and translations are
+still among the best, and Blackie was a Lowlander, was born, indeed, in
+the Saltmarket of Glasgow. My frequent visits to the north and west have
+convinced me that another difficulty in the way of a possible resurgence
+of Gaelic is the lack of a recognised standard of colloquial speech. The
+language is split up into many dialects, each possessing its own special
+idioms and vocabulary. A Glasgow firm of printers not long ago conceived
+the idea of printing post-cards with Gaelic greetings: they found that
+every city Highlander they consulted had either in grammar or turn of
+phrase some special way of framing the sentences. "Grand Gaelic to-day!"
+is an exclamation sometimes heard at the door of a Highland church in
+town, and indicates that the minister who has officiated comes from the
+same strath as the person speaking.</p>
+
+<p>A moderate amount of encouragement to Gaelic is all that can reasonably
+be expected from the Govern<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">{20}</a></span>ment, seeing that the prime duty of the
+schoolmaster everywhere is to impart a sound knowledge of English.<a name="FNanchor_2_2" id="FNanchor_2_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a></p>
+
+<h3>HAPPINESS AND GENIALITY OF NATIVES.</h3>
+
+<p>What has struck me most in my travels by land and sea, is the
+extraordinary amount of happiness, geniality, and good humour that still
+exists in the world. There is a substantial amount of felicity in the
+majority of men. Every one knows the sentence of Emerson: "Give me
+health and a day, and I will make the pomp of empires ridiculous." I
+like to give concrete examples of philosophic maxims, and I should
+particularise Emerson's dictum thus: "Bard Macdonald of Trotternish,
+Skye, whose only cow came near being impounded by the Congested
+Districts Board in order to pay for the price of seed-potatoes furnished
+to him by the said Board, having good health, makes the pomp of empires<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">{21}</a></span>
+ridiculous three hundred and sixty-five days every year." Bard Macdonald
+is a very poor man, yet he has contrived to hitch his waggon on to a
+fixed star. He lives in one of those low thatch-roofed bothies that,
+with the accompanying croft, are rented at from £2 to £4 a year. He has
+a wife and a large family. Yet, tormented as he is by present poverty
+and past arrears, he eyes the future with serenity. I heard him sing a
+Gaelic poem of his own composition, containing twenty-five verses of
+intricate versification, and at the conclusion he was far less exhausted
+than any of the company. Then, again, Torquil M'Gillivray, schoolmaster
+of a rainy township on the sea-edge of one of the Skye <i>nishes</i>, has
+tranquillity of mind as great as any of the Seven Sages ever enjoyed. He
+is perfectly contented with his lot of rural dominie, and when I, in my
+presumption, ventured to speak critically of certain social conditions
+in his beloved island, he rebuked me by crooning tenderly the following
+lines:</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Jerusalem, Athens, and Rome,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">I would see them before I die,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">But I'd rather not see any one of the three,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Than be exiled for ever from Skye!"<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>We all know what a unique poetical gem Wordsworth composed after he
+heard a Highland girl singing at Inversnaid. I witnessed many fine
+examples of concentrated joy which might have resulted in metre if I had
+not had the presence of mind to pull myself up and refrain. One was at
+Acharacle, where in front of a croft a young fellow was dancing the
+Highland fling<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">{22}</a></span> with such whole-souled and consuming zeal that I stood
+transfixed with wonder and awe. He was alone, and I came suddenly upon
+him at a sharp bend of the road. He threw his legs about him with such
+regardless glee, that for a moment I was afraid one of them would get
+unfixed and come spinning through the air to hit me. I watched him like
+one fascinated for fully ten minutes. When at length he saw me, the
+glory flowed suddenly off his legs; he subsided into a country bumpkin,
+and beat a hasty retreat indoors. "If Greek dances were as artistic as
+this one," said I, "and if the lines of each chorus had a reference to
+the diversity of the steps, it is little wonder that God in His
+providence should have sent us so many commentators to explain the
+mysteries of ancient scansion."</p>
+
+<p>Another instance of natural and spontaneous bliss came under my notice
+about two miles along from Kinlochewe, on the banks of Loch Maree. It
+was a glorious, sun-illumined spring morning, and every crevice in the
+rough flanks of Ben Slioch was mirrored in the unwrinkled surface of the
+noble loch. Ben Eay had a bright covering of Nature's whitest, softest
+lawn. No sounds were heard except the low droning of a vagrant bee, the
+whizzing of a sea-mew's pinions, or a bark from this croft answered by a
+bark from that other a mile away. Suddenly the repose of the morning, in
+which a pedestrian could hear the echo of his own feet, was startled by
+the voice of a girl singing. For a moment I thought of the <i>Lorelei</i>;
+but it was soon evident where the notes were coming from. A maiden of
+ten or twelve was sitting in front of a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">{23}</a></span> cottage that faced the lake,
+combing her long, black hair that glistened in the morning rays, and
+pouring forth such exquisite trills as might have made Orpheus envious.
+The whole beauty of ben, loch, and sky seemed to be gathered up in that
+child's song. I had been wandering along in the sparkling air and
+feeling that something ought to be done to intimate to Heaven that it
+was a heavenly morning. The girl felt so happy in the gracious gift of
+another blue day that her nature responded at once in a spontaneous
+burst of melody. I was very grateful for her vicarious hymn of praise&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Now thanks to Heaven! that of its grace<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Hath led me to this lonely place.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Joy have I had; and going hence<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">I bear away my recompense."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+
+<h3>OBAN TO GAIRLOCH.</h3>
+
+<p>It is impossible for anyone who has a fair supply of the uncurdled milk
+of human kindness to sail from Oban to Gairloch and not be struck with
+the heartiness and good humour of the native population. Such a trip is
+rarely accomplished without some memorable incident or some outstanding
+impression. The landscape is doubtless magnificent, but the people one
+sees on the way are infinitely more interesting. No one, I am sure, can
+fail to observe the well-groomed, fresh, and imperial aspect of the pier
+policemen. The general polish of their boots and belts, the
+self-satisfied, Parnassian smile that never comes off, the spotless<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">{24}</a></span>
+gloves, the muscular frame, combine to make up a splendid type of
+impressive Law grounded on Strength. I am ashamed to employ the term
+"policemen" to a body of officials who command such instantaneous
+respect. These men are King Edward's Highland satraps, and they both
+know it and feel it: law in the North is never undignified or unkempt.
+Then, again, the captain of the steamer is a man whom it is impossible
+to regard without veneration. All Macbrayne's men are fine fellows; they
+look well as they stand in stately fashion on the bridge: yet many a
+scowling sky of torrential rain they have to face, many a time have
+their beards been shaken by the hurricanes of the Minch. If you speak to
+a ship-captain, you are certain to get the utmost civility and
+politeness. It is true that most of them have several sets of
+vocabularies: to passengers they are urbane and choice of speech; but
+they have, within easy reach, another set of phrases, which they find of
+service in addressing delinquent mariners.</p>
+
+<p>A student of Virgil in making the trip I have alluded to above, would
+run the risk of recalling the passage in which the poet suggests that
+the big island of Sicily was at one time connected with the mainland,
+but that some huge convulsion of nature disjoined the twain and allowed
+the Mediterranean to come roaring in a channel between. The scenery of
+Western Scotland stirs the imagination to suppose that some similar
+catastrophe permitted the sea to mangle the fair uniformity of a
+prehistoric coast, submerge the low-lying lands, and leave a great
+number of islands lying in lonely fashion<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">{25}</a></span> out in the watery waste.
+Heavy weather, truly, it must have been ere Coll, Tiree, Rum, and Eigg
+were sundered from the mainland by the Atlantic flow.</p>
+
+<p>All the islands I mention (save Tiree) can be seen from the deck of the
+<i>Gael</i> during the earlier part of the daily passage of that boat from
+Oban in the summer season. Tiree is off the main tourist track, but a
+few antiquarians are now finding it worth their while to go and dig
+there for relics of byegone civilisation. A friend of mine, a zealous
+and erudite F.S.A., has spent many a pleasant holiday in Tiree, and has
+come back with loaded trunks of valuable prehistoric remains. Certain
+artists go out to the island regularly in order to transfer to canvas
+some of Nature's most impressive aspects of cloud, wave, and crag. Nor
+let me forget the doughty members of the <i>Faith Mission</i>, who evangelise
+this and others of the outer isles, and sing such sweet melodies to the
+natives as would melt any "Wee Free" heart, let alone an ordinary heart
+of stone. Tiree has long been famous for its schools and for its
+intelligent inhabitants; as a consequence, the libraries have been
+enthusiastically welcomed in its townships, and are regarded by the
+teachers there as a new and valuable adjunct of education. I have often
+heard it said that Tiree produces more ministers than any other
+district, of like population, in the Celtic part of Scotland. The Duke
+of Argyll does not allow any licensed house on the island, but he has
+not as yet suppressed the <i>Fingal</i> and the parcels post. Should His
+Grace ever unbend so far as to permit the temperance hotels to obtain
+the licence, learned men might flock in greater<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">{26}</a></span> numbers to Tiree, and
+dazzle themselves and the world with further antiquarian finds.<a name="FNanchor_3_3" id="FNanchor_3_3"></a><a href="#Footnote_3_3" class="fnanchor">[3]</a></p>
+
+<p>Rum has not been dowered with a Paisley library, and I regret to say
+that the natives have the reputation of not keeping the Sunday with
+ostentatious strictness. Eigg, the little island contiguous, is a little
+heaven below. The missionary there well deserves a word of commendation:
+the island of Muck is under his spiritual supervision, and with a
+sandwich and a sermon in his pocket, he often sets sail, scorning gust
+and current, to preach to his parishioners in that tiny islet.</p>
+
+
+<h3>WINTER SAILING.</h3>
+
+<p>The summer tourist knows Skye very imperfectly, for he goes there in a
+commodious steamer and traverses the island at a season when the days
+are long and the weather benign. No one should vaunt of knowing Skye
+unless he has seen it in winter also. It is the small <i>Lochiel</i> that, in
+the dark days of December, bears the passengers along the chilly Sound
+of Sleat, and through the narrows of Raasay, into the haven of Portree.
+At such a time there is something fearsome and weird in the aspect of
+the coast, as seen from the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">{27}</a></span> cabin window of the brave little boat as
+she battles and plunges along in the teeth of the north-eastern gale.
+Her progress is slow, for when passengers are few Macbrayne wisely
+economises his coal. The long-stretching hills of Raasay (on the highest
+of which Boswell danced a jig) are white from head to foot, and gleam
+through the darkness of the afternoon, vivid and ghostly. As Raasay
+House, with its lamp-lit windows shining in a snowy recess, is
+approached, the engines slow down, and through the howl of the wind can
+be heard the plashing of oars. The broad waves swirl and seethe cruelly
+around the ferry-boat and toss it about at all angles, up and down, on
+crest and in trough, till you fear it will end its struggles keel
+upwards, and send the mail-bags down among the mackerel. But the boatmen
+know their trade, and so do the dripping, top-booted seamen of the
+<i>Lochiel</i>. Amid much running and shuffling and casting of ropes and
+animated bandying of (I fear) strong expressions in Gaelic sung out upon
+the night, the ship's ladder is cast down and the boat tied thereto. In
+a few minutes the transfer of mails is over, the ladder up, and the
+small boat leaping back to land. (I speak of December 22, 1904). A new
+passenger has come on board and is seen to descend the cabin stairs to
+unfreeze his fingers over the tiny stove. Half-an-hour's heaving still
+remains before Portree. A lady who has been on the border-line of
+squeamishness for the last hour, hurriedly leaves the cabin, probably to
+see if her luggage is all right. Good news at last for all! Portree is
+visible, and its lights are twinkling on the height. The moon comes
+graciously out, silvering the snowy shoulders<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">{28}</a></span> of Essie Hill. What a
+contrast is this moonlit haven, with its background of terraced lights,
+to the rough surges outside. Glad indeed is everyone to set foot on the
+pier and trudge through disregarded slush to the warmth of home or
+hotel. We are told by our island friends that all Skye is under snow and
+that the roads are impassable. No mail-coach has ventured to Dunvegan
+for two days and in other directions, the postmen, turned cavaliers,
+have gone off on horseback with their letters. (Let me say in passing,
+that a red-bearded Highland postman, clad in post-office livery and
+seated on a sheltie, is a sight which any artist would go a hundred
+miles to see.)</p>
+
+<p>Winter sailing may at times be as pleasant as a cruise in June. At 8
+<span class="smcap lowercase">A.M.</span> in the snug cabin, the breakfast-table, with its tea, ham, eggs,
+and sausages, is a welcome piece of scenery, and the genial talk of the
+captain and his colleagues is far better than pepsine as a digestive.
+After breakfast, a pipe on deck is a necessity. Who that has once seen
+Ben-na-ceallich all white to the feet and softly veiled with airy mists,
+but wishes he were a Turner to paint, or a Shelley to sing? The sail
+from Broadford to Kyle on a calm, cold, snow-dazzling morning is (if one
+is wrapped and coated well) absolutely majestic. The sun pours, if not
+warmth, at least light and heat on the hundred bens of the mainland and
+the breeze aiding, wakens a multitudinous smile on the glittering face
+of the cold waters.</p>
+
+<p>I never take this trip without thinking of such books as <i>The Brave Sons
+of Skye</i>, which gives a record of the brave men born in the misty island
+who have come<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">{29}</a></span> south and distinguished themselves in many a different
+walk in life. It is a most inspiring thing to reflect on the dauntless
+way in which genius treads the stony road that leads from poverty to
+glory. There is not a district in Skye but has its great man, who forms
+the subject of conversation round the peat fire when the winter winds
+are blowing down the strath. "From Log Cabin to White House" is the
+American way of putting it: in Scotland we might say "From Crofter's Cot
+to Professor's Chair."</p>
+
+
+<h3>A CROFTING VILLAGE.</h3>
+
+<p>The sight of a crofting village is at first rather surprising to one
+accustomed to large towns. The low roofs are not far from the ground.
+Often, while driving, if you turn a corner swiftly, you run the risk of
+being thrown out of the trap on to one of the chimneys. It does not take
+much imagination, especially in the dim dusk, to transform a
+low-thatched cot into some weird animal that might begin to walk along
+the hill-side at any moment. So irregularly grouped are the townships,
+dropped here and there, as it were, that you might fancy the houses had
+begun at one time to run a race with each other, and in the middle of it
+had suddenly stopped. Dr. Johnson complained that the windows were fixed
+into the walls and could not, in consequence, be opened to let in the
+air. That fault exists to some extent still: I have been told, however,
+that peat reek is very purifying, and that its thick fumes make short
+work of any noxious germs that might lodge about the nooks of the
+interior. Great<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">{30}</a></span> changes are gradually coming over many of the clachans,
+changes not loved by an artist or a devotee of the picturesque. Instead
+of thatch, held down by ropes weighted with heavy stones, there is often
+to be seen a roofing of tarred cloth or corrugated iron. Romance might
+attach itself to a roof of thatch, but corrugated iron, with its
+distressing parallelism, could never awaken a genuine lyric note.
+Further, it does not make a very comfortable seat, whereas thatch is
+soft. Now, children in the Highlands are rather fond of sitting and even
+playing on the roof: thatch is less cruel on bare feet than iron is.</p>
+
+
+<h3>HORRORS OF THE MINCH.</h3>
+
+<p>I have alluded to the distresses of winter voyaging to Skye. But there
+are other routes worse, notably that from Tarbert in Harris to
+Lochmaddy, which is a perfect Tartar of a trip. When the wind is high
+and contrary, the traveller (if he can stay on deck and maintain an
+interest in the scenery), beholds a sight of extreme grandeur. The waves
+are to be seen all along the Harris coast leaping up to a terrific
+extent with an unbroken line of foam extending for miles. So much does
+the boat romp and dance, however, that most passengers forsake the deck
+and retire inelegantly below. When a man lies in a stuffy cabin wishing
+himself wedged into it to prevent the perpetual rolling to this side and
+to that, and hearing the desperate thud of the Minch flinging itself
+against the port-hole, a series of vivid panoramic pictures pass before
+his mental eye. Home appears so lovely and reposeful: faces of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">{31}</a></span> friends
+on shore arise, transfigured by the glow of love: the squeamishness and
+retching he endures seem to the sufferer a special and direct judgment
+on him for impiously endeavouring to find pleasure otherwise than by the
+practice of the domestic virtues. Disquieting memories of bursting
+boilers surge up to the surface of the mind, and old catches like the
+weird ballad of Sir Patrick Spens lilt themselves to the clank of the
+staggering ship's machinery&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"The anchor's brak and the tapmast lap,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">It was sic a deadly storm,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And the waves dashed into the gude ship's side<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Till a' her planks were torn."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>The romance of the sea is apt to vanish as you look out upon a
+wilderness of foaming water, tossing the boat like an insignificant toy,
+drenching the bulwarks and vehemently smiting everything in its riotous
+anger. Neptune seems a mere blind force without reverence or mercy for
+the works of man. It is good for a boy of romantic disposition to cross
+to the Long Island in a gale: it will effectually cure him of all desire
+to take up the profession of pirate. What a sad moment for such a youth
+when he sees his breakfast where it shouldn't be, and reflects that he
+has not the staying power of Sir Ralph the Rover!</p>
+
+<p>I regret to say that I have no specific to give as a preventive for
+sea-sickness. Even the Ph&oelig;nicians who had time, during the intervals
+of their hardy voyaging, to invent the alphabet, were unable to devise a
+remedy for the <i>mal de mer</i>. Custom does not create<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">{32}</a></span> immunity, for even
+the mighty Nelson, who had a life-long acquaintance with the ocean, was
+afflicted with sea-sickness to the end of his days. In France there
+exists a <i>Ligue contre le mal de mer</i>, commenting upon which a French
+journalist says: <i>Avec une ligue on est toujours assuré d'une chose: à
+défaut de progrès, qu'elle nous fera peut-être attendre, elle fera des
+congrès: et c'est du moins une consolation que de pouvoir discourir de
+son mal.</i></p>
+
+<p>He that will to Cupar maun through Fife, and he that has business in the
+Lews must brave the billows of the Minch.</p>
+
+
+<h3>NOTES ON LEWIS.</h3>
+
+<p>The great island of Lewis, formerly so distant from Edinburgh and
+Glasgow, can now be reached in fourteen hours by one who leaves the
+latter city at 5.40 <span class="smcap lowercase">A.M.</span> The old route was very tiresome and circuitous:
+the traveller had to proceed to Inverness, take the Dingwall and Skye
+line to Strome Ferry, and then sail over the Minch to Stornoway. The
+opening up of the West Highlands by the railway to Mallaig has changed
+all that. At Mallaig pier, when you leave the train, you find the
+connecting steamer ready to set off, at noon, for its journey to
+Stornoway, where it arrives about eight in the evening.</p>
+
+<p>I don't think anyone would want to stay more than a week at a time in
+Stornoway. The town itself is just like the fishy part of
+Boulogne-sur-Mer, only more so. There is a pervading odour of mussels,
+bait, and herring, and the gulls go flapping overhead in crowds
+everywhere.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">{33}</a></span> If the tourist remained a week in the place, he would go
+every day to the Castle grounds. Here, if anywhere, is the paradise of
+the Lews. There is a profusion of dells, burns, glades, ivy-grown
+bridges, and far-extending vistas over sea, moorland, and town. As with
+a knife (so precise is the division) the well-wooded policies are
+separated from the barren and disheartening moor. When one gets to the
+highest point of the grounds and gazes over the long, tiresome slopes of
+the island, one's belief in <i>design in nature</i> gets a sudden stab. A man
+will think long and sore before he arrives at any <i>raison d'être</i> for
+including such a wilderness of bogs in the scheme of creation.</p>
+
+<p>The men of the island are, in the main, shrewd, resourceful, and
+intelligent&mdash;qualities fostered by their constant fighting with the sea.
+"The young fellows here," said one of the hotel-keepers to me, "will
+either make a spoon or spoil a horn. They come to a decision speedily
+and put it into practice at once. It is hit or miss with them, usually
+hit. At sea, in a gale, there is no time for parliamenting; and Lewismen
+act on land with the swift decision that is needed in a tempest." All
+round the coast are fishing-villages, thickly populated by these
+intrepid children of the tempest.</p>
+
+<p>Fishing is a precarious industry, and often fails. The harvest of the
+land may fail at the same time as that of the sea: in such a case the
+plight of the islanders is sad indeed. During the last five years, the
+trade of weaving has been wisely fostered by the Government, so that in
+future, when sea and soil are churlish, the loom will to some extent
+supply the lack. The Duchess of Suther<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">{34}</a></span>land and the Congested Districts
+Board have done excellent service in encouraging the tweed-weaving
+industry all over the Long Island. Her Grace, some years ago, made a
+progress through Lewis and addressed the people by means of an
+interpreter, on the advantages of such industry in their homes. She also
+instituted exhibition sales of work in the big cities of the south, with
+the result that large quantities of cloth were sold and a precious
+publicity given to the scheme. Depots for receiving the cloth from the
+workers are now established in Stornoway and Harris. The Congested
+Districts Board advance money without interest for the purchase of
+looms, provide an experienced instructor to supply the people with new
+patterns, and give an adequate supply of dye-pots free of charge. This
+instructor goes over the whole of Lewis and Harris, spending month about
+in each, erecting new looms and modernising old ones. There is a large
+carding mill in Stornoway, where the natives can have the wool
+expeditiously carded in the most approved modern style. An industry thus
+fostered and supervised is bound to succeed.</p>
+
+<p>Educationally, the Long Island is making great progress. Higher
+education is almost entirely centred in the Nicolson Institute,
+Stornoway, a school admirably conducted and finely equipped. The pupils
+of marked ability in the elementary schools of Lewis come here to
+continue their higher studies, and, in many cases, to prepare themselves
+for the University. I have seen specimens of a magazine, annually put
+forth by the senior pupils of this school, and containing many
+inter<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">{35}</a></span>esting essays and poems, grave and gay. The English of the essays
+was remarkably good, and contained here and there some piquant
+suggestions of Gaelic idiom. The pupils read French well, probably
+because their native Gaelic contains such a rich reservoir of nasal
+sounds to draw upon.</p>
+
+
+<h3>HIGHLAND DOCTORS.</h3>
+
+<p>I have a great respect for the medical gentlemen who have taken up their
+position in remote districts of Scotland, and devote themselves to the
+healing art under most disadvantageous circumstances. The distances are
+incredibly long and dangerous in winter: I have in my mind an insular
+doctor who has a deal of midnight boating to do in glacial weather, and
+whose bills are often paid not in coin but <i>in fleece newly off the
+sheep's back</i>. As the population gets smaller, the doctor's work becomes
+more laborious and less remunerative. The institution of district nurses
+has been a great success, and I wish there were more of them. A
+sympathetic and competent <i>nurse</i> is a valuable asset in a crofting or
+seafaring community. In one district of Mull, recently visited, I found
+that the nurse was also the village librarian. She was quite at home
+both with lotions and literature, and could recommend a poet or prepare
+a poultice with equal skill. The ante-room to the village hall was her
+dispensary: it seemed to me remarkably complete, and to have as
+scientific an odour as any city pharmacy. I was glad to see that the
+Clan Maclean was so well supplied with the resources of modern
+civilisation.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">{36}</a></span></p>
+
+<p>In every one of the village libraries there is a copy of Black's
+<i>Medical Dictionary</i>, a most useful compilation, written in clear and
+simple language, and detailing all the commonest remedies. Many rural
+teachers and clergymen have considerable skill in coping with illness.
+Every country minister should have at least a smattering of medical
+knowledge.<a name="FNanchor_4_4" id="FNanchor_4_4"></a><a href="#Footnote_4_4" class="fnanchor">[4]</a></p>
+
+
+
+<h3>HOTELS AND ANGLERS.</h3>
+
+<p>Wherever the angler goes, you find a good hotel. Uist is low-lying and
+barren, with nothing to attract the eye&mdash;no tourist would go near the
+place for anything it has to show in the way of scenery. But as it has
+hundreds of small lochs, full of fish, ardent anglers go thither from
+all parts of the British Isles; and so at Lochmaddy and Lochboisdale the
+hotels are not merely good, they are excellent. The recording angel is
+kept busy, during the season, in taking a note of all the myths told
+there by the fishers in the evening over the whisky and soda.</p>
+
+<p>There may be heard, at night, in most hotels in the Western Isles, the
+riotous scampering of rats overhead and along the walls. In Lochmaddy
+hotel there used<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">{37}</a></span> to be an old frisker (perhaps he is living still) that
+gave great entertainment, though no one ever saw him. He lifted a stone,
+evidently with his mouth, ran a yard or two with it, and then dropped it
+with a great clatter. The game was a pleasure to him, for he would
+practice it for half an hour at a time. The anglers who frequented the
+hotel called him <i>the mason</i>.</p>
+
+<p>I have got into conversation with innumerable knights of the rod, and
+can sympathise to a slight extent with their enthusiasm. Nothing seems
+to take hold of a man so irrevocably as Walton's mania. Travelling by
+night in the north lately, I looked out into the dusk from the carriage
+window and beheld a bright flash of lightning, and by the gleam thereof
+saw a midnight maniac with his rod silhouetted against the vast inane.
+How few fishers nowadays, except perhaps Mr. Andrew Lang, can write
+their experiences in good marrowy English&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">The quaint loquacious wits of long ago,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Whose ease was never broken by the shrill<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Whistle of engine panting round the hill,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Could by the brook where fishful waters flow,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Spend the long hours in angling to and fro,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And hooking lusty trout and salmon, till<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The low-descending sun and evening chill<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Would send them to the merry ingle-glow;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Then, after fit refection, pen and ink<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Would consecrate on paper all their feats<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">In rippling phrases flashing with the blink<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of forest glades and living water-sheets;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The race is poorer now than it was then:<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">We have no anglers that can wield the pen.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">{38}</a></span></div></div>
+
+<p>I believe the best region in all Scotland for trout is the wild and
+picturesque county of Sutherland. In the district of Assynt alone there
+are 150 lochs, fine sheets of water most of them, lying about among the
+hills. Half-way between the two seas and just on the borders of
+Sutherland and Ross, is the cosy wee hotel of Altnacealgach, with a
+well-stocked loch at the door, from which hundredweights of trout are
+taken every year. The air that blows about the house is to that of
+London as champagne is to dish-water.</p>
+
+<p>There is a close connection, as I said, between the frequentation of a
+district by anglers and the excellence of its hotels. Where there is no
+great influx of tourists, the hotel accommodation is decidedly poor. I
+remember one inn, at a cold windy clachan on the west coast, which only
+stress of weather and dire necessity would make a man enter. Dirty stone
+steps, worn and crumbled in the centre, led to an upper room which had
+apparently not been swept out for a year or two. Not even the city of
+Cologne in Coleridge's time could have produced from among its imposing
+catalogue of stenches anything to match the complex ensemble of that
+malodorous inn. There was stale fish intil't, and bad beer intil't, and
+peat reek intil't, and mice intil't, and candle grease intil't, and the
+devil and all intil't. Though I was the only visitor, I feared I should
+not have the bed to myself: so I e'en wrapped myself in my Highland
+plaidie (after the minimum of disinvestiture), and stretched my limbs on
+an arthritic settee, with intent to sleep. No sleep came till the
+quaffing roysterers of the clachan had ceased fighting under the moon
+outside,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">{39}</a></span> about 2 <span class="smcap lowercase">A.M.</span> namely. Rather than stay two nights in such a
+place, I boated out early next day into the mid-channel of the Sound of
+Mull, and clambered up the sides of Macbrayne's <i>Lapwing</i>, which took me
+to Oban.</p>
+
+
+<h3>RECENT BOOKS.</h3>
+
+<p>The most charming of recent works on the Outer Islands is that one of
+which the preface was written in Jerusalem. I refer to the volume of
+Miss Goodrich Frere, a lady whose vivacity, fervour, and picturesque
+style are deserving of unqualified praise. All the libraries in the
+bilingual districts contain the book, and few are so often asked for. In
+conversation and publicly I have often given myself the pleasure of
+recommending it, alike to Highlander and Lowlander. My admiration for
+Miss Frere's talents makes me wish that one or two of her prejudices had
+been less glaringly displayed. She speaks, for example, with something
+like scornful reproach of Lochmaddy, because the habit of taking
+afternoon tea is common in that township. It would have been more to the
+purpose if Miss Frere had issued a general warning to the people of the
+Hebrides not to drink tea as black as porter, and, above all, not to
+boil it. The pale anæmic faces one so often sees in the north and west,
+the mental prostration and actual insanity so alarmingly on the increase
+in the Long Island, are unquestionably due, in great measure, to the
+abominably strong tea that is swilled in such quantities there. A
+Tarbert doctor told me that the medical profession now talk quite
+familiarly of the Harris stomach just as drapers talk of Harris tweed:<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">{40}</a></span>
+the former is, he averred, as weak and devoid of tone as the latter is
+strong and of good texture. This doctor was called up at two one morning
+to attend a patient in one of the moorland townships. At that hour, away
+over there on the gusty rim of the Atlantic, the natives were all afoot.
+People were talking to each other at the doorsteps; lamps were lighted
+inside, and tea that had been boiling for hours among the red peats, was
+being imbibed with infinite gusto. This, the doctor assured me, was the
+normal style of living.<a name="FNanchor_5_5" id="FNanchor_5_5"></a><a href="#Footnote_5_5" class="fnanchor">[5]</a></p>
+
+<p>Talking of North Uist, Miss Frere shows indignation at the invasion of
+southern ideas, and thinks that everything is being vitiated by the
+taint of Lochmaddy. Lochmaddy, characterised in so droll a way, is a
+tiny township with a Sheriff Court, a church, a few well-built modern
+houses, a school, and an excellent hotel. Cleanliness is a welcome
+feature of the place, and I am sorry to say that the same can not be
+said of certain crofting villages not far distant. I expect that the
+visits of the Government Sanitary Officer, whom I met at Lochmaddy, and
+who knows his business well, will ultimately work an enormous amount of
+good. That gentleman gave me such unsavoury details regarding the
+conditions of life in certain of the townships as made me hope that the
+"taint of Lochmaddy," that is to say, the cleanliness<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">{41}</a></span> and civilised
+life of that village, may more and more become evident throughout both
+the Uists. Improved sanitation would allow heaven's breath to circulate
+through the low-lying cots and prevent them from being hot-beds of
+malignant disease.</p>
+
+
+<p>One feature of Miss Frere's book which does honour to her fine sympathy,
+but which is not ethnologically justifiable, is the persistent attempt
+to draw a sharp racial distinction between Highlander and Lowlander. The
+truth is, that no part of the Highlands is purely Celtic: the population
+is a welter of Picts, Gaels, Norsemen, Danes, and Saxons. The Lowland
+blood is, in like manner, a bewildering blend, there being no
+uncontaminated Anglo-Saxon district in any single county of Scotland.
+Mr. J. M. Robertson's clever book, <i>The Saxon and the Celt</i>, seems to me
+to dispose finally of certain fallacies that Hill Burton and others have
+light-heartedly written on the subject of racial characteristics. The
+conditions of life, the ungeniality of sea and soil, the wild and grand
+aspect of nature, influence thought, feeling, and character at least as
+much as blood and heredity.<a name="FNanchor_6_6" id="FNanchor_6_6"></a><a href="#Footnote_6_6" class="fnanchor">[6]</a></p>
+
+
+
+<p>Another delightful book on the Outer Hebrides is that written by Mr. W.
+C. Mackenzie. Proceeding in the order of chronology, the author gives a
+vivid series of historic summaries (enlivened by many a piquant<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">{42}</a></span> episode
+and humorous touch) of the Long Island from the earliest times. The
+wanderings of Prince Charlie, and the condition of the country after
+Culloden, have never been better told than in Mr. Mackenzie's narrative.</p>
+
+
+<h3>MILITARY.</h3>
+
+<p>I hinted at the beginning of this chapter that the barracks of the
+Highland regiments had been supplied with extensive libraries for the
+use of the soldiers during their leisure hours. Fort-George, the
+erection of which was directly due to the Highland rebellions, has been
+presented with two fine libraries, and I am happy to say that the men
+greatly appreciate the gift. I happened to be in the vicinity of
+Fort-George when the Duke of Connaught was conducting an official
+inspection. The little town of Ardersier, which is some two miles from
+the Fort, was gay with bunting for the ducal visit. The books at the
+Fort are under the charge of Sergeant-Major Markham, an able
+elocutionist and one who, in his own sphere, does an immense amount of
+good. He gets the young recruits to band themselves together in social
+clubs, organises games and entertainments for them, and encourages them
+to read and study. The philanthropic Sergeant-Major was engaged in
+typing a catalogue of the books when the genial Duke came upon the
+scene. His Royal Highness was astonished to see such a magnificent
+selection of reading matter at the disposal of the soldiers, and eagerly
+asked for information as to the origin of the boon. His curiosity was
+satisfied, and when he heard that the same donor had given appropriate
+libraries to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">{43}</a></span> the garrisons at Inverness, Dingwall, and Kinbrace, he
+exclaimed, "Such a gentleman is indeed the Soldier's Friend."</p>
+
+<p>Since the Duke's visit, a small library of books has been sent to the
+children's school at the Fort. The population of this military
+community, containing as it does a great many married men with their
+wives and families, is fully equal to that of Ardersier, and
+necessitates a separate school. I was struck with the pronunciation of
+the children in this part of the country. Many of the Fort children,
+having mothers from the other side of the Border, speak with an
+unmistakable English accent and are rather unscrupulous with respect to
+the aspirate. The town of Inverness, which is at no great distance from
+Fort-George, has long been famous for its clear and unprovincial English
+speech, a fact which Johnson (oddly enough) thought due to some of
+Cromwell's soldiers having settled there.</p>
+
+<p>Dr. Johnson devotes two pleasant little paragraphs to describe his visit
+to Fort-George and his entertainment there by Sir Eyre Coote. I have
+always admired the Doctor's sly way of avoiding a description of the
+Fort: "I cannot," he says, "delineate it scientifically, and a loose and
+popular description is of use only when the imagination is to be
+amused."</p>
+
+<p>In spite of the menace of Fort-George, the Highlanders fondly cherished
+the memory of Charlie for many a year. To no subject even now do their
+descendants listen with such rapt attention as to his tragic story. I
+have heard indeed of a Highland minister who was so displeased at the
+homage paid to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">{44}</a></span> the Prince's memory by some of his flock, that he threw
+at them the unanswerable question, "What will Prince Charlie do for you
+at the day of judgment?"</p>
+
+<p>I have had the curiosity to ask some of the Session Clerks of country
+parishes that were in the line of the insurgents' advance or retreat, if
+any references to the rebellion appear in the minutes of the year 1745.
+No references appear, as a rule, for that year; but, under 1746, there
+are brief accounts of church discipline being exercised in the case of a
+few illegitimate births,&mdash;the paternity being ascribed usually to <i>ane
+sodger</i>.<a name="FNanchor_7_7" id="FNanchor_7_7"></a><a href="#Footnote_7_7" class="fnanchor">[7]</a></p>
+
+<p>At Inverness and Dingwall there exist similar libraries of great range
+and excellence. The men show an interest in Miss Marie Corelli's works
+that is rather astonishing. Their hard and strenuous drill does not
+deprive them of a curiosity to know something about <i>Barabbas</i> and <i>The
+Sorrows of Satan</i>. Sir Conan Doyle and Dr. Neil Munro are also great
+favourites, and deserve to be.</p>
+
+
+<p>A large number of the Inverness recruits come from the Long Island. They
+almost invariably require to be taken to the hospital a week or two
+after their arrival. Change of diet and new modes of life seem to upset
+them at first. For those who have a mind to improve themselves, there
+are abundant opportunities.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">{45}</a></span> The reading and recreation rooms are well
+appointed and comfortable. Altogether, the regular life, physical drill,
+and healthy tone of the barracks must have a most beneficial effect on
+the men.</p>
+
+<p>I am bound to say that I do not greatly admire the English style of the
+gentleman who composes the War Office placards that one sees at railway
+stations in the north. These are meant to allure country labourers to
+join the army, but the following piece of fatuous rhetoric must surely
+act rather as a deterrent than otherwise:&mdash;"Are you, the descendants of
+those who conquered India and carried the colours of the Gordon
+Highlanders through the Peninsula and at Waterloo, <i>content to sit at
+home, or be satisfied with dull labours in the fields or at the mills</i>,
+whilst the ranks of your own regiment are filled by strangers from the
+South?" I heard two freckled rustics, with difficulty and labour hard,
+spelling out the phrases of the foregoing sentence at the little station
+of Fyvie. They did not seem at all impressed by the fervent
+interrogation nor by this picture of prospective delights: "<i>Many of
+your countrymen have seen the wonders of the Indian Empire and enjoyed
+the soft calm of Malta, and of Ceylon, the Paradise of the Ancients.</i>"
+It does not evince much knowledge of a ploughman's mind to seek to
+awaken his martial ardour by old myths about the Garden of Eden; nor is
+it specially alluring to him to mention, as the acme of glory, that he
+may distinguish himself so much as to gain "<i>thanks from both Houses of
+Parliament</i>." Such weak and watery declamation won't do for a country
+that has had thirty-eight years of com<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">{46}</a></span>pulsory education. If our War
+Office wishes to rouse patriotic feeling, it should cease to contrast
+"the dull labour of the fields" with "the soft calm of Malta": the
+veriest clown would not be caught by such chaff. It would be more to the
+point to send gratuitous copies of <i>The Barrack Room Ballads</i> to all the
+village libraries.</p>
+
+
+<h3>MORAY FIRTH.</h3>
+
+<p>My various visits to the shores of the Moray Firth have convinced me
+that a man may enjoy the majesty and terror of the sea without embarking
+on a boat at all. All he need do is to take a ticket to Portsoy in the
+month of March, when the wind is snell and the clouds low. I have never
+seen a more grim or cruel-looking coast than that which stretches for
+miles east and west of Portsoy. One shudders even at the thought of
+those detestable, razor-edged rocks, tilted up at all angles, with the
+tide for ever boiling and hissing about them. Neither by land nor sea,
+at many parts of the coast, can you get to what might be reasonably
+called a beach. The so-called shore-road is high up on the hills, and
+gives a good view far out over the billows, but does not take the
+traveller's feet near the water at all. Ill-advised would he be who
+should strive to guide his skiff from the outer firth to any chance cove
+on the shore, for the uncouth crags, huge and sombre, would have no
+mercy on any timber jointed by the hand of man. Perhaps the summer sun
+would give a gentler appearance to the rocky and wave-beaten shore, but
+I am certain Mr. Swinburne would prefer to see it in March.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">{47}</a></span></p>
+
+<p>The town of Portsoy in itself cannot be said to have much comeliness;
+the streets are irregular, the houses dismal, and the shops few. God
+has, as is meet, the best of the architecture, most of the churches
+being graceful and well-spired.</p>
+
+<p>About twenty minutes by rail from Portsoy is the trim and typical
+fishing village of Portknockie, high-raised on a hill, and with little
+protection from any wind that Aeolus may send out of his cavern. The
+population comes near 1,600 souls, and it is rare to find a native who
+is not called by one of the following surnames: <i>Mair</i>, <i>Wood</i>, <i>Munro</i>,
+<i>Pirrie</i>. I believe such a dearth of appellatives is the invariable rule
+in the fishing villages of the North Sea. To counteract the confusion
+that would inevitably arise, an agnomen or "tee-name" is usually
+appended. The Portknockie tee-names are <i>Mash</i>, <i>Deer</i>, <i>Doodoo</i>,
+<i>Bobbin</i>, and <i>Shavie</i>. Examples of postal addresses are&mdash;</p>
+
+
+<ul><li>John Wood (Bobbin), Portknockie.</li>
+<li>Duncan Munro (Doodoo), "</li>
+<li>Samuel Pirrie (Shavie), "</li>
+<li>Daniel Mair (Mash), "</li>
+</ul>
+
+<p>I don't envy the young minister who, fresh from Lucian, has to read with
+solemnity a roll of such communicants.</p>
+
+<p>Between Portknockie and the sea-town of Cullen is a charming stretch of
+links and sea-sands. Over the broad Firth, as one looks north-west, may
+be faintly seen the hills of Sutherland and Caithness.</p>
+
+<p>It is pleasant to read books amid the scenery in which they were
+conceived, and among the people they<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">{48}</a></span> portray. Those who spend their
+holidays at Cullen would act wisely in reading George Macdonald's novels
+there. No one has drawn the character of the Moray Firth fisherman so
+lovingly, beautifully, and sympathetically as he. After reading such a
+tale as the <i>Marquis of Lossie</i> one looks upon places like Portknockie
+and the sea-town of Cullen with different eyes. The toilers of the deep
+that go forth on the waters from these seaboard shires are serious and
+moral men. Contact with the sea and the presence of danger at all hours,
+have made them alert, keen, and dexterous. Most of the crews carry a box
+of choice books with them for their odd hours of leisure when they go to
+the Yarmouth fishing. Let a stranger get into conversation with one or
+two of these hardy heroes, and he will be surprised at their
+intelligence and wide interests. He will certainly conclude that the
+young fisherman, Malcolm Macphail, whom Macdonald introduces in the
+novel mentioned, is no exaggeration, but true to the life.</p>
+
+<p>The sea-town of Cullen consists of some hundreds of houses closely
+huddled together just at the edge of the sea. The rank odour of wreck,
+tar, fishing-gear, and bait, pervades the air, and is effectually kept
+from corruption by the searching sea-breezes that are ever blowing. When
+not engaged on the water, the men are busy mending their nets, stitching
+their sails, making fast the seams of their craft and tarring the big
+inflated floaters that support the lines. They are quite ready to chat
+with a stranger and discuss their methods of working, their gains,
+mishaps, and partnerships.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">{49}</a></span></p>
+
+<p>When the fishing season is over and the crews are known to be on the way
+home, the excitement among the women is intense. No Bourse ever tingled
+more feverishly with rumours and sinister fears than Sandhaven or
+Rosehearty or Seatown at such a crucial time. Costly nets may be riven,
+boats may be stove in by untoward accidents, or worse than all, fathers,
+husbands and brothers may be drowned on the road home to their loved
+ones. Rarely does a season pass without bringing sorrow to the heart of
+some waiting wife or sister.</p>
+
+<p>The joys, hopes, and fears of these maritime townships have been
+worthily made vocal by Dr. George Macdonald. He has done this with a
+grace and an artistic conception that raise his stories to a very high
+rank in pure literature. I am afraid Macdonald is not much read by the
+present generation: his stories are too long, too philosophical, perhaps
+too poetical, for the taste of to-day. Every book of his is saturated
+from beginning to end with the religion of the Gospels&mdash;a religion of
+love, beauty, tolerance, and sympathy.</p>
+
+<p>I am happy to say that I saw Dr. Macdonald once and heard him speak. His
+venerable aspect and chaste elocution made a powerful impression on all
+who heard him. His discourse could not be reported in cold print, for
+the flash of the mystic's eye, the human kindness that emanated from his
+whole being, and the felt emotion of his every tone could not be
+reproduced by any artifice known to the printer.</p>
+
+<p>The Forfarshire fishwives have quite a Dutch mania for cleanliness. On
+Saturdays they give their homes a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">{50}</a></span> complete overhaul, and the men are
+driven out of doors during the ceremony. What man could stay at home
+when his wife, supplied with a mop and a big pail of soapy water, is
+sousing the floor and the walls? Furniture is scrubbed and dusted, glass
+ornaments, porcelain hens, and shell-boxes have to be carefully wiped,
+grates and fire-irons must be rubbed to a glittering polish. These
+industrious women, panting with the enthusiasm of work, enjoy Saturday
+more than any other day of the week. The enjoyment springs from various
+causes. There is first the delight that comes from a vigorous exercise
+of the muscles. This pleasure is heightened by the knowledge that the
+work is for a good end, and that on Sunday the house will be
+resplendent, immaculate, and peaceful. It is not to be denied that the
+feeling of satisfaction at having evicted the husband is also an
+important item. When he comes home from discussing politics with his
+co-mates and brothers in exile, she will not fail to jibe him on the
+general worthlessness of his existence, and accuse him of intemperance.</p>
+
+
+<h3>AMONG THE MINERS.</h3>
+
+<p>A fishing village has a picturesqueness and a kinship with Nature and
+the hills, utterly lacking in a mining locality. The squalid rows of the
+latter, arranged in wretched, heart-breaking symmetry, are an offence to
+the landscape. Mud and filth cumber the door-steps, runnels of
+malodorous water ooze along the rows, ragged and ill-kempt bairns tumble
+about like little savages. A pitiful sight it is to see the black squads
+of colliers returning to their homes after a day in the damp bowels<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">{51}</a></span> of
+the earth: greasy caps with little oil-lamps attached, wet, miry
+clothing and grimy faces, all make up a most saddening spectacle. The
+wages given to these poor fellows are miserably meagre, considering that
+after the age of forty-five, their limbs are stiffened with rheumatism
+and their lungs the seat of chronic asthma. It is not surprising that
+miners should be intemperate, and that their recreations should rise no
+higher than dog-racing and cock-fighting.</p>
+
+<p>It is very unpleasant to think that so much good bone and muscle is
+being ground and destroyed by work so brutalising and unnatural. Coal
+must be brought to the surface for the wants of civilisation, and in the
+process the collier is destroyed, body and soul. Society needs
+constantly to be reminded of its duties towards those who, in Helot
+fashion, clean the drains and work the mines. Those duties involve more
+than the distribution of tracts.</p>
+
+<p>I had the opportunity of speaking to a crowded meeting of miners in the
+county of Stirling quite recently, and was immensely pleased with the
+behaviour and close attention of the audience. Before the speaking
+began, the proceedings resembled a University Graduation Ceremony, that
+is, there was a great deal of whistling, cat-calling, and rowdy
+merriment. The audience kept on their caps, and many of them, disdaining
+the use of chairs and benches, squatted against the walls in the
+position so dear to subterranean workers. Once the lecture began, the
+resemblance to a University gathering ceased, for the colliers behaved
+like gentlemen. What subject, it may be asked, could<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">{52}</a></span> possibly interest
+an assembly of illiterate miners? It so happens that, in Scotland, we
+have a great number of working-men poets, who have, in a homely but very
+graphic way, voiced the feelings of the labouring classes, and given fit
+expression to every joy and sorrow that men experience in this mortal
+round. These hodden-gray bards furnish abundance of material for giving
+even the humblest and most untrained mind a few glimpses of what is
+meant by literature. Burns has a broad and brawny humanity that appeals
+to all men, and, besides Burns, there are scores of major and minor
+warblers that are interesting, quotable, and full of grace.</p>
+
+<p>The wild and unruly manners of some mining districts, even at the
+present day, may partly be explained by remembering that up to the end
+of the eighteenth century, colliers were serfs and, as such, were not
+allowed to leave the mines and seek work elsewhere. When a pit was sold,
+the workers passed as a matter of course into the hands of the new
+proprietor. The son of a miner was compelled to follow the father's
+occupation.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">{53}</a></span><a name="FNanchor_8_8" id="FNanchor_8_8"></a><a href="#Footnote_8_8" class="fnanchor">[8]</a> Slavery fixed a brutalising mark on generation after
+generation that is not yet entirely erased. In the first half of the
+nineteenth century the knights of the shuttle&mdash;intellectual,
+disputatious, and lyrical&mdash;looked down with infinite contempt on the
+ignorant and boorish slaves of the pick. Poetry has, in consequence,
+little to say about the digger for coal. The song of "The Collier
+Laddie," attributed to Burns, is one of the very few pleasant pieces of
+verse associated with the miner.</p>
+
+<p>The Scotch mining villages of to-day contain a queer juxtaposition of
+nationalities, and the proportion of native colliers is becoming less
+and less. Thousands of Irish families from Ulster and Connaught are now
+settled permanently in the counties of Lanark, Stirling, and Ayr. The
+alien Pole, too, is to be found in the same regions uttering melodious
+oaths learned on the banks of the Vistula. To complete the welter,
+huckstering Orientals may be seen gliding about among the rows of
+houses, fulfilling prophecy and selling highly-coloured pictures of the
+Virgin Mary.</p>
+
+
+<h3>HAND-LOOM WEAVING.</h3>
+
+<p>The miner is still with us, but the weaver is almost obsolete in the
+Lowlands. You must search diligently for him. In Laurencekirk (a quaint
+village of one long street, in the shire of Forfar), and in similar
+out-of-the-way nooks, can still be faintly heard the music of the
+hand-loom. I went recently into a weaver's shop in Laurencekirk, and
+found three old men and one aged woman plying their shuttles. The oldest
+of the men was born four years after the battle of Waterloo, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">{54}</a></span> there
+he sat, like a vision of the vanished years, striving to weave a few
+more yards of drugget before going to rejoin his contemporaries of the
+reign of George III. He told me there were once seven hundred hand-loom
+weavers in the place, and "<i>that young fellow</i>" said he, pointing to a
+wrinkled carle of eighty on the loom behind, "remembers it as well as I
+do."</p>
+
+<p>The industry of hand-loom weaving, which, a century ago, made every town
+in Scotland resonant with the din of shuttles, is thus almost a thing of
+the past, and the men who engaged in it have gone the way of their
+shoe-buckles, knee-breeches, and seventeen-hundred linen. Yet weavers
+were typical of all that was intellectual in Scottish life: every shop
+was in its way a miniature university, and every weaver a man who
+believed himself capable of giving Pitt a lesson or two on the
+management of the war, and Dundas a few hints on political economy. They
+had, indeed, far clearer views on politics than most of their
+legislators; from their ranks at a subsequent period the Chartist
+agitators&mdash;regrettably extreme as they were&mdash;were largely recruited; and
+it is not too much to say that the minds of many of our leading
+accredited reformers took the ply from these politicians of the loom.
+These men who, in a way so characteristic of Scotland, managed to make
+high-thinking subsist on homely fare, can never quite fade from memory
+while their tuneful poetical exponent, Tannahill, is read and enjoyed.
+In his works we have a page out of the past; and as we read his life and
+poems, we behold the Scotch village as it was a century ago; we see the
+old houses with their outside stairs,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">{55}</a></span> the antique boulder-paved cross,
+and the assemblies of aproned craftsmen discussing news much older than
+their ale.</p>
+
+<p>In Broadford, Skye, there is an old crofter who, in his early years,
+worked at the loom with Alexander Bain, late Professor in the University
+of Aberdeen. Half a century ago, John Stuart Mill said that Bain's
+erudition was encyclopædic. From long residence in France, I know that
+few British philosophers are better known than Bain (whose name the
+French amusingly pronounce to rhyme with <i>vin</i>). This old crofter tells
+how he used to chaff the future professor for invariably having a book
+in front of him as the shuttle was plied. Bain, by slow and careful
+work, overcame prejudice, and secured a high position among the leaders
+of thought. Long ago, those who had to sit for the London degrees used
+to regard him as the greatest thinker in Europe. When he retired from
+the examinership at London, students lost some of their old veneration
+for him, and when he married a second time, a Miss Barbara Something,
+they even ventured to make a logical joke on him, and say that he had
+been fascinated by <i>Barbara's perfect figure</i>. I know that many pupils
+of our public schools, in love with football more than syntax, often
+regretted that Bain ever composed his <i>English Grammar</i>. No book (unless
+perhaps Morell's <i>Analysis</i>) has ever been more cordially execrated, and
+no book ever more richly deserved it, for though, like Aberdeen granite,
+it is stately and impressive, it is also ruthless, cold, and implacable.
+The draught may be wholesome and medicinal, but there is no honey on the
+rim of the cup.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">{56}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h3>PROFESSOR BLACKIE IN THE HIGHLANDS.</h3>
+
+<p>One hears a great deal of Professor Blackie in the North and West, and
+no wonder. He was a laughing, jocular, impressionable man, who hobnobbed
+with landlords and amiably slapped drivers and policemen on the back,
+throwing a Gaelic greeting at them as he did so. His faculty for writing
+poetry is seen in many a guidebook; Oban, Inverness, Pitlochry, and
+numberless other places, have had their beauties celebrated by this
+animated writer. He was a good friend to the Highlands&mdash;studied Gaelic
+most arduously, translated some of the finest of the Celtic bards,
+worked assiduously for the establishment of a Celtic Chair in Edinburgh,
+spoke many a good word for the crofters&mdash;in fact, did everything well
+except what he was paid to do, viz., teach Greek to his students. Grave
+D.D.'s could not understand or condone his cantrips. I have been assured
+that on one occasion, when Professor in the College of Aberdeen, he
+actually <i>stood on his head</i> before a class of students. Mr. Barrie has
+given a very amusing and quite unexaggerated account of the Professor's
+normal demeanour in Edinburgh. Blackie's text books of <i>Greek Dialogues</i>
+are full of the most waggish remarks.</p>
+
+<p>The landlady of Kinlochewe Hotel gave some lessons in Gaelic to this
+convulsive old scholar. He would come in with a Celtic Bible below his
+arm, and, opening the sacred volume, read a chapter or two at a terrific
+rate of speed, and whistle triumphantly when he had finished. Highland
+folk did not care to converse with Blackie for three reasons: (1) he
+spoke too quickly<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">{57}</a></span> for the leisurely and composed conversation of the
+Gael; (2) his pronunciation was bad, and people did not like to tell him
+so or correct him&mdash;(no one ever pronounced Gaelic to perfection who did
+not get the language with his mother's milk); (3) he was fond of using
+literary words, taken from the older bards, in his ordinary
+conversation; now, such words are obsolete in every-day talk and quite
+unfamiliar to crofters and cottars. In the Highlands, Blackie's English
+was better understood than his Gaelic.</p>
+
+<p>Blackie was undoubtedly a very able scholar&mdash;not, indeed, of that minute
+burrowing kind famous in Germany, but rather of the class that delights
+in the literature and vivid force of a language. He <i>spoke</i> Latin and
+Greek, and held views on the teaching of these tongues that seemed more
+eccentric in his time than they do now. He declared that the linguistic
+achievement of which he was proudest was his mastery, such as it was, of
+the language of the Gael.</p>
+
+<p>It affords me pleasure in the retrospect to think of old Blackie at a
+distribution of prizes to school-children in a town of the West some
+years before his death. During the chairman's opening remarks the merry
+old man continued to whistle like a mavis. When the chairman sat down,
+Blackie embraced him and called him fellow-sinner. Some recitations
+followed from the children, one of which was Burns's "Address to a
+Haggis." When the young elocutionist came to the lines&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Till a' their weel-swall'd kites belyve<br /></span>
+<span class="i4">Are bent like drums."<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">{58}</a></span></div></div>
+
+<p>Blackie rolled in his chair, held his sides and uproariously expressed
+his approbation. Then came the distribution of prizes, during which the
+Grand Old Boy made some pun or quaint remark on each of the children's
+names, as he presented the books: <i>"Miss Minnie Morrow</i>: never put off
+till to-morrow what you can do to-day; <i>James Glen</i>: be a real genuine
+<i>Glen</i> all through life, not a <i>valet</i> or flunkey; <i>William Lindsay</i>:
+Willie, my lad, imitate your ancestors at Otterburn: 'The Lindsays flew
+like fire about till a' the fray was done'; <i>Mary Black</i>: black but
+comely like the daughters of Jerusalem," and so on, in a bird-witted,
+half-daft way that the audience contemplated with benevolent wonder.</p>
+
+
+<h3>NOTE ON INVERNESS SURNAMES, ETC.</h3>
+
+<p>Let me mention here a very useful and interesting piece of philology
+that was done by Dr. Macbain in 1895. That eminent scholar, working on
+the <i>Inverness Directory</i>, analysed the names occurring there, explained
+them on sound principles of etymology, and gave percentages of Celtic
+and Saxon surnames in the Highland capital.</p>
+
+<p>Roughly speaking, the <i>Directory</i> of 1894-1895 had 5,000 single entries,
+and <i>750 distinct surnames</i>. Of these surnames, only 110 are pure
+Gaelic. About 70 per cent. of the natives are, however, supposed to be
+of Highland descent.</p>
+
+<p>Dr. Macbain points out that certain Highland clans have names that are
+not Celtic: <i>Grant</i> is from the French "grand"; <i>Fraser</i> from the French
+"fraise," a strawberry (the Frasers have a strawberry in their
+coat-of-arms); <i>Chisholm</i> is English and means "gravel-holm,"&mdash;the
+Anglo-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">{59}</a></span>Saxon <i>ceosol</i> (pebble) is preserved in <i>Chesil Beach</i> and
+<i>Chiselhurst</i>; <i>MacLeod</i> signifies "son of Ljot"; and <i>ljotr</i> is the
+Norse word for "ugly." <i>Campbell</i> is probably Norman-French, though Dr.
+Macbain suggests <i>cam-beul</i>, Gaelic for "crooked mouth." In olden times
+an external conqueror would sometimes subdue a district, and call the
+natives after his noble self.</p>
+
+<p>The commonest names in the town are Fraser, Macdonald, Mackenzie,
+Macintosh, Ross, Cameron, and Munro. About 1,200 of the population have
+one or other of the first three names. The Frasers are an easy first,
+and form more than 9 per cent. of the population.</p>
+
+<p><i>John</i>, <i>Alexander</i>, and <i>William</i>, are the commonest Christian names in
+Inverness. "It is remarkable and indeed regrettable," says Dr. Macbain,
+"that the Gaelic Christian names (Donald, Duncan, Kenneth, Murdoch, and
+Angus), are not higher in the list."</p>
+
+<p>The name of the first recorded inhabitant of Inverness (<span class="smcap lowercase">A.D.</span> 1200) is
+Geoffrey Blount, a feudal warrior no doubt (French <i>blond</i>). In the
+thirteenth century we have the names <i>Noreys</i>, <i>Grant</i>, and <i>Hay</i>. In
+the fourteenth century the leading name is Pilch, derived from
+<i>peluche</i>, the French for "plush." In the fifteenth century, <i>Reid</i>,
+<i>Vaus</i>, and <i>Cuthbert</i> are prominent citizens. <i>Vaus</i> is said to mean
+"of the vales," <i>i.e.</i>, <i>de Vallibus</i>; <i>Reid</i> is Scotch for "red"; and
+<i>Cuthbert</i> is pure Lowland. Evidently the leading men were aliens and
+interlopers.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">{60}</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_II" id="CHAPTER_II"></a>CHAPTER II.<br />
+<br />
+<span style="font-size: 75%;">MUSIC, SPEECHES, AND LITERATURE.</span></h2>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>Scotch a reading nation&mdash;Hardships of students in old
+days&mdash;Homer in Scalloway&mdash;When education ends&mdash;Objects of
+chapter&mdash;Music&mdash;M.P.'s&mdash;Rural depopulation&mdash;Its
+causes&mdash;Emigration&mdash;Village halls&mdash;The moon&mdash;A lecture in
+Islay&mdash;Mental and material wealth&mdash;Real greatness&mdash;A Highland
+laird on literature&mdash;Varieties of chairmen&mdash;"Coming to the
+point"&mdash;Moral obligation&mdash;Compliment to Paisley&mdash;Oratory at
+Salen&mdash;Lecture in a dungeon&mdash;Surprises&mdash;A visit to the
+Borders&mdash;Tarbolton&mdash;Scotch language&mdash;Choice books&mdash;The
+essayists&mdash;A Banff theory&mdash;Goldsmith in Gaelic&mdash;<i>Biblia
+abiblia</i>&mdash;Favourites for the road&mdash;Horace&mdash;Shakespeare's
+Sonnets&mdash;Xenophon&mdash;French literature and journalism&mdash;Romance and
+Augustanism&mdash;Victorian writers&mdash;Celt and Saxon.</p></div>
+
+
+<h3>SCOTCH A READING NATION.</h3>
+
+<p>I think it was Mr. Holyoake, the veteran lecturer, who, in a volume of
+reminiscences, declared he found the audiences in Scotland more
+intelligent than elsewhere. I cannot draw such comparisons, for I have
+not spoken often south of the Tweed; this I can say with assurance,
+however, that no one need hesitate to address an audience of Scotch
+peasants on a topic of literary interest. Predestination and such
+religious trifles may stir them to disrespectful heat, but pure
+literature invariably draws forth their cool and critical attention.
+Probably no nation has ever devoted so much attention to books, and, as
+the result of this characteristic, Scotland,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">{61}</a></span> considering its size and
+population, has produced far more than its proportion of eminent men. At
+the Reformation epoch, when the comforts of a Lowland cottage would be
+little in advance of those in a present-day Uist croft, writers like
+George Buchanan and his fellows of the <i>Deliciæ Poetarum Scotorum</i> made
+the excellence of Scotch scholarship known in every university of
+Europe. Buchanan was really a typical Caledonian man of
+genius&mdash;open-eyed, sagacious, patriotic, and cosmopolitan&mdash;and I can
+strongly recommend the occasional perusal of his Latin Psalms to all
+modern readers who wish to keep their feelings of reverence fresh and
+prevent their Latin quantities from getting amorphous.</p>
+
+
+<h3>HARDSHIPS OF STUDENTS IN OLD DAYS.</h3>
+
+<p>Those who think highly of the Scotch intellect, point with pride to the
+fact that for many a year the Prime Minister, the leader of the
+Opposition, and the Archbishop of Canterbury all hailed from the North.
+For my own part, I am chiefly interested in cases where eminence has
+resulted from the cultivation of literature on a little oatmeal. A few
+months ago, I had the pleasure of chatting, over a cup of tea, with the
+suave old gentleman who combines the postmastership of Dunvegan with the
+office of factor to the Macleod of Macleod. He held me spell-bound for
+an afternoon as he narrated in graphic language the hardships of the
+Skye students in former times. Many a Skye youth, I was told, bent on
+studying the humanities at Aberdeen, would mount his sheltie, traverse
+thereon the rough roads of his misty island as far as Kyleakin, cross
+the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">{62}</a></span> ferry there, ride on east through the ben-shadowed track of Glen
+Moriston, and finally bear down on the streets of the Granite City.
+There the o'erlaboured sheltie would be sold to pay the matriculation
+fees.</p>
+
+
+<h3>HOMER IN SCALLOWAY.</h3>
+
+<p>Many little out-of-the-way townships in insular Scotland contain
+scholars who would find themselves quite at home among a set of college
+dons. In the course of my travels in Shetland I came to the tiny village
+of Scalloway, and while standing on the pier gazing alternately at the
+confusion of sea and island, and at the grim old ruined castle where
+Earl Patrick, the wicked viceroy, once resided, I heard a conversation
+on geology being carried on between a tall and brawny shopman and some
+sailors. The latter, who were on board a ship, shouted their replies
+over a few yards of water to the shopman, who was on the pier near me. I
+was interested in the men's talk, which had to do with the subsidence of
+the land at this part of the coast. One of the sailors alleged that his
+grandmother's cabbage-patch was now covered by the water on which his
+boat was floating. The big shopman, turning to me, quoted the well-known
+passage of Tennyson (everyone can repeat it) of the sea flowing where
+the tree used to grow. "O Earth, what changes thou hast seen." This
+quotation led to a literary talk in which he remarked that of all poets
+he preferred Homer. "What translator do you like best?" I enquired.
+"Blackie's," he replied, "as being the most faithful to the original.
+But I rarely read a translation, '<i>I prefer<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">{63}</a></span> Homer in his own Greek.</i>'"
+This remark made by one whose fingers were glistening with
+herring-scales, came to me as a pleasant surprise. Later on in the day,
+I visited his house and saw his fine library and his splendid selection
+of classical books. Not many teachers of my acquaintance have a better
+array of the editions of Homer. He was not one of your ignorant
+collectors who know only the outside of what they buy. He had read over
+the whole forty-eight books of the text again and again, and could
+discuss knotty passages in most interesting and original fashion. His
+memory was evidently an excellent one. He informed me that most of his
+reading was done in the early morning, and that he found five hours'
+sleep quite adequate. I have a most agreeable recollection of my
+interview with this self-taught scholar. I believe there are many like
+him in not a few outlandish nooks of Scotland,&mdash;men who read books not
+for any material advantages that result from their studies, but simply
+and solely for the intense pleasure that comes from communion with the
+masterminds of bygone generations.</p>
+
+<p>Travel in remote districts of Britain reveals the fact that our
+provincials, whenever they have the chance, are a studious and
+thoughtful race. The isolation and monotony of life in many parts are
+bound to drive men to study and reflection if the means for these are at
+hand. Sisyphus himself had hardly less variety of occupation than some
+of our shepherds whose work on the hills involves long absences from
+social intercourse. To such men (whose life is suggestive of a repeating
+decimal) the access to an ell or two of good books often<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">{64}</a></span> means mental
+salvation. Nothing is so melancholy as to find a countryman of brains
+who has never had the opportunity of cultivating his mind in such a way
+as to eliminate prejudice and widen the range of interest.</p>
+
+
+<h3>WHEN EDUCATION ENDS.</h3>
+
+<p>I am sometimes inclined to think that many of our rural clergymen,
+intent on shielding their congregations from pestilent doctrine and
+latitudinarism, are actuated by much the same spirit as the Sultan Omar
+when he set fire to the great Library at Alexandria. The Bible is no
+doubt the best of books, and it may be that the Confession of Faith
+comes next: but when these have got their share, there still remains the
+religious duty of educating the intellect by a wide perusal of the
+inspired apostles of secular literature. A Highland teacher, who
+presided at one of the lectures in the north, expressed himself very
+appositely thus on the subject of education: "The supposition that
+education is over when a boy leaves school, is far too prevalent," he
+said. "Education properly considered comes to an end when the last
+breath of life is drawn. Edward Young in his <i>Night Thoughts</i> says:
+'Were man to live coeval with the sun, the patriarch-pupil would be
+learning still.' Young was undoubtedly right: some of the most forceful
+and penetrating lessons of life are given to us long after we have cast
+our text-books into some dusty corner, never to be opened more. In our
+early days, we cannot choose our own teachers, and there is often a good
+deal of force and constraint. The delightful thing about our education
+in mature life is that we have the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">{65}</a></span> selection of our own masters. There
+is no compulsion whatever. I am convinced that for everyone of us there
+is some one author whose works will act as medicine for the mind and be
+an unfailing tonic in all conditions of the soul."</p>
+
+
+<h3>OBJECT OF CHAPTER.</h3>
+
+<p>I intend to devote this chapter to a description of a few of the
+speeches delivered by some of the speakers at such literary evenings in
+various parts of the country. After I had said my say, I sometimes
+invited an expression of opinion. Almost invariably someone responded to
+the invitation, with the object of asking a question, expressing
+dissent, or intimating concurrence. I do not recollect a single meeting
+out of hundreds that could be called monotonous. It did not in the
+slightest detract from the interest of a meeting that many of the
+remarks erred on the score of irrelevancy. The attention never flagged
+from first to last, and it was no uncommon thing for the proceedings to
+last for over three hours. In giving typical speeches delivered by
+crofters, lairds, tradesmen, and clergymen, I mean to indicate to the
+reader <i>the subjects that are of interest to our provincial population,
+their attitude to questions of literature and social life, and
+incidentally the great amount of humour that still exists in the world</i>.</p>
+
+
+<h3>MUSIC.</h3>
+
+<p>The free and unconventional character of these meetings was perhaps seen
+best of all in the musical part of the proceedings, which was always
+arranged locally.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">{66}</a></span> Usually the songs were well-known Highland or Lowland
+airs, in many cases so exquisitely rendered that it was quite evident
+there had been much previous preparation. When my opinion was asked
+beforehand, I invariably recommended national melodies. It was always a
+treat to get a Gaelic song or two well rendered. At Acharacle (a little
+place at the far end of Lochshiel) Mr. Rudd's piper gave some fine
+Highland tunes, which evoked great enthusiasm. Personally I prefer the
+pipes to every other instrument, for this reason, that even if I don't
+understand all the music, I can appreciate the scenic effects. The
+Acharacle piper was a fine specimen of the Celt, and his get-up was
+glorious:</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"He screwed his pipes and gart them skirl<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Till roof and rafters a' did dirl."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>Sometimes the phonograph formed part of the musical programme. I do not
+approve of this demoralising instrument except to a very limited extent.
+The cylinders usually gyrate with records of fatuous music-hall songs,
+unedifying coster-airs and farcical speeches. The <i>vox humana</i>
+interpreting national melodies is infinitely better. What vigour and
+illustrative expression the islanders can throw into their songs! I have
+but to shut my eyes to see the policeman of Staffin interpreting "The
+Bonnie House o' Airlie." When his big, manly voice threw out the
+terrible threat, "<i>I'll no' leave a staunin' stane in Airlie</i>," his eyes
+shot fire, his teeth gleamed, and his ponderous fist came thundering
+down on the table in front of him.</p>
+
+<p>I still remember with infinite pleasure the strains of Mr. Cameron's
+Poolewe Choir, heard in Gairloch<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">{67}</a></span> school-house. That energetic and
+complaisant conductor brought his clear-throated minstrels over to the
+meeting in a brake. It was a luxury to see them with their white robes
+and tartan sashes, while in front of them stood their genial leader clad
+in kilts. The Gaelic <i>Mod</i>, which is now a regular institution in the
+land, is bound to do splendid service towards keeping alive the fine old
+music of the North. The Poolewe Choir, I am happy to say, won much
+distinction at the <i>Mods</i> of both Inverness and Greenock. <i>There is
+great need for choirs, and great need, also, for innocent songs of a
+secular character.</i> Before I spoke to the people of Eigg, I requested
+the teacher to arrange, if possible, for a musical programme. The reply
+staggered me: "No man, woman, or child in this island would for a moment
+even dream of singing a worldly song. We are all converted here, except
+a few benighted Catholics. The vain, fleeting joys of this world are as
+dross to us. The missionary has a modulator, and he trains the young men
+and women in the sol-fa so that they may sing Sankey's hymns in all the
+parts." I was dreadfully floored by this answer, and could only mutter
+mechanically, "<i>Dross</i>," "<i>Missionary</i>,'" "<i>Modulator</i>," in a vain
+effort to seize the situation. Conversion I understood and approved of,
+but where, in the wee island of Eigg, were the vain, fleeting joys?
+There is no public-house in the place, and little temptation of any
+kind. The most disquieting item of all was the modulator: I have not
+seen one for a long time, and am not sorry, for there is nothing which
+so spoils the appearance of a wall nor anything so dismal as practising
+scales. A com<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">{68}</a></span>promise was come to, and it was arranged that some Gaelic
+readings, containing a dash of religion, should take the place of songs,
+and give some variety to the evening's proceedings.</p>
+
+<p>At some of the meetings there was perhaps an <i>excess of realism</i>.
+Bottom, in "A Midsummer Night's Dream," wishing to avoid excitement and
+fear among the ladies when he is acting the part of Pyramus, says:
+"Write me a prologue; and let the prologue seem to say, we will do no
+harm with our swords, and that Pyramus is not killed indeed; and for the
+more better assurance tell them that I, Pyramus, am not Pyramus, but
+Bottom the weaver: this will put them out of fear." I thought of
+Bottom's extreme delicacy when I was present at a meeting in Tomatin not
+long ago. An outstanding feature of the evening's proceedings was the
+vividly dramatic rendering of the song, "Macpherson swore a feud," by
+the local postman. The latter, a big, burly man, was extremely
+formidable in his Highland attire. When he came to the verse dealing
+with the untimely decease of Macpherson, he whipped the dagger out of
+its sheath, flourished it as in act to kill, and terrified some of the
+lady visitors by his vivid suiting of the action to the word. They were
+as much astonished at the flash of the <i>skian dhu</i> as the Commons were
+when Burke threw a dagger on the floor of the House.</p>
+
+<p>A musical treat is sometimes got in the most unexpected places. I was
+particularly struck with a children's glee-party in Jura (a rough island
+known chiefly for its sterile Paps). The bairns admirably rendered Ben
+Jonson's delightful ditty, "Drink to me<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">{69}</a></span> only with thine eyes," and the
+Shakespearian song, "Where the bee sucks, there suck I." In such islands
+a musical teacher is a valuable asset. Let me add that all the libraries
+have been gratuitously supplied with fine collections of Scottish music.</p>
+
+<p>At Acha, in the island of Coll, four sturdy farm-maidens, ruddy with
+health and robed in white, gave various English and Gaelic airs in
+admirable style. A divinity student sang a <i>coster song</i> (think of this
+in an island of craggy shores, gulls, wild-swans, and curlews!), and on
+being encored, he gave a "Cradle Lullaby," and by gently swaying a chair
+backwards and forwards on the platform, he strove to illustrate the
+movements of childhood's earliest receptacle.</p>
+
+<p>A military gentleman&mdash;an ex-major&mdash;in proposing a vote of thanks, one
+evening, to the singers, said he had sung a song but once in his life,
+the occasion being his admission to the Royal Engineers, thirty years
+before. It was a standing law in that body that every novice should sing
+a song or drink a mixture consisting of whisky, ink, and cayenne pepper.
+He chose the former alternative, and at the end of the first verse the
+Royal Engineers had all left the room in a demoralised condition!</p>
+
+
+<h3>M.P.'s.</h3>
+
+<p>At one of the meetings in Argyleshire, I had the joy of speaking under
+the chairmanship of the glib and able Mr. Ainsworth, M.P. for that
+county. Among the votes of thanks was one for the chairman: it made a
+profound impression upon me, as much by its form as by its substance: "I
+hope, Mr. Ainsworth, that you<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">{70}</a></span> will take better care of your health in
+future (hear, hear). No, no, you are not taking care of your health at
+all (laughter). We all expect you to be Prime Minister, and that is the
+reason we would like you not to roam about so much and undermine your
+constitution (cheers). You are always travelling. You are like the
+Wandering Jew. No! you are like a little bird on a bough. To-day, we see
+you on a tree near the door; to-morrow, we see you on a tree a hundred
+miles away" (great cheering). Mr. Ainsworth kindly promised that, in
+view of his destiny, he would cease to range around the country so
+indiscriminately.</p>
+
+<p>Unfortunately, I have never met Mr. Galloway Weir, but I have heard much
+of the zeal of himself and his agents. The following story hinges on the
+fact that <i>Weir</i> and <i>wire</i> have the same pronunciation in Lewis. An old
+illiterate crofter came to record his vote by word of mouth, and told
+the polling sheriff: "I will vote for the right man, yes, yes, it's the
+right man I will be voting for this time." "That may be," said the
+sheriff, "but unless you will tell me his name, you can't vote." "Well,
+if you must know," said the old man, handing the sheriff a
+stocking-wire, "<i>I will be voting for the man that has the same name as
+that</i>."</p>
+
+
+<h3>RURAL DEPOPULATION.</h3>
+
+<p>The mention of that eminent politician brings to my mind the frequent
+references made at these meetings to the painful subject of rural
+depopulation. Everyone regrets the exodus of young men from the country
+to the town, a practice which depletes the rural villages<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">{71}</a></span> and deprives
+the land of the strong arms that should find employment in working it.
+The ministers are not without hope that the rush city-wards may be
+checked by improving the conditions of country life, rendering it more
+attractive to the young, and enlisting the aid of Government in the
+scheme of small-holdings. Motives of health, morality, and patriotism,
+are all concerned in the fostering of a hardy peasantry. Everything that
+makes country life attractive to young men must operate to make them
+regret to quit it. I wish I could reproduce textually all the strong and
+astounding speeches I have heard in the Highlands on this subject of
+depopulation.</p>
+
+<p>"We often hear," said a farmer, "that it's healthy men and women that
+make up the true wealth of a country, and if that is true, Scotland, for
+all its increase of riches, is every year growing poorer. How can the
+people left in the glens continue to propagate a hardy race, if all the
+young healthy bloods leave for the cities and settle there? I am afraid
+that both brain and brawn will continue to get feebler among us, unless
+the Government give some kind of inducement for the peopling of the land
+with bien, self-respecting men <i>that have a bit land of their own</i>. It's
+impossible to get farm-hands round Tayside nowadays, and it's not to be
+wondered at. Suppose a young man stays here, what prospect has he, what
+incentive has he to work? At the age of seventeen he has earned the
+highest wage he will ever earn. Thereafter his life is a slow,
+monotonous serfdom; he has no hope whatever of rising, he is doomed to
+live from hand to mouth all the years of his<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">{72}</a></span> existence. But put before
+that young man the hope that he can <i>become the owner</i> of a morsel of
+land, however small, and you put life and pride into him. He will work
+in that case with intelligent purpose, knowing that every penny he saves
+is to be employed in making him a landed proprietor, and every detail of
+experience he gains will tell in the future for his direct benefit. Our
+young fellows don't really want to leave the land and go to die
+prematurely (as a great many of them do) in the slums of Glasgow and
+Edinburgh. They go to the cities because there is at least <i>a chance</i> of
+bettering their lot there, a chance which is entirely lacking at home.
+Some of them go away to the colonies and thrive as farmers there. I
+rejoice to hear of such success; but I rejoice with trembling when I
+think how much of Britain's best manhood has to leave her shores to till
+Transatlantic fields, while so much land at home remains unoccupied. By
+and by, if you want to see a good specimen of the Highlander, you will
+have to go to Canada. Sooner or later, and the sooner the better, the
+vigorous action of Government will be demanded to remedy the present
+iniquities of land-tenure, and to put a stop to the compulsory
+degradation of those who till the soil."</p>
+
+
+<h3>ITS CAUSES.</h3>
+
+<p>The present seems to be an opportune time for directing public attention
+to some remarkable changes that are taking place in the population of
+the rural districts of Scotland. A great deal of speaking and writing
+has been expended of late years in lamenting the depopulation of the
+country. Young fellows do<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">{73}</a></span> not like the monotony of village and farm
+life: they prefer the stir and excitement of the cities. Such things are
+not to be wondered at. Town life has always had an attraction for those
+whose energy requires a wide scene of action. Energy and ambition go
+together, and it is the possessor of such qualities that makes the
+successful city man. The country does not give scope enough for their
+adequate display.</p>
+
+<p>The railway train and the inventions of modern times are both answerable
+for a certain amount of depopulation. I believe the condition of
+farm-hands has been markedly improved of late years. They have now a
+shorter day, higher wages, better food, and superior house
+accommodation. Mechanical appliances have made farm-work lighter and
+more agreeable. The drudgery of the threshing flail is now unknown; the
+hook and the scythe have given way to the reaping-machine: in every way
+hand labour has been lightened. But it is precisely this machinery that
+lessens the need for large numbers of agricultural labourers. It is also
+notorious that shoemakers, tailors, and blacksmiths, are not so much
+required in the country as they used to be. Ready-made shoes and clothes
+are brought by rail from the city, and local tradesmen are reduced in
+numbers.</p>
+
+
+<h3>EMIGRATION.</h3>
+
+<p>There seems to be in our day a competition among the Governments of the
+New World, which of them can lure away the greatest number of our
+peasantry. The latest candidate for our rural youth is the State of
+Virginia, the legislature of which has voted a large sum<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">{74}</a></span> of money to
+pay the expenses of two delegates, who are at work in the East of
+Scotland, hunting for likely emigrants. These Virginian delegates&mdash;Mr.
+Koiner and Col. Talliafer&mdash;paid the passage-money of over a hundred
+stalwart lads from Lochtayside in the autumn of 1906.</p>
+
+<p>No one who has the opportunity of travelling through Scotland can fail
+to be struck by the absolute frenzy for emigration that exists
+everywhere. There is a constant stream of emigrants from all our
+agricultural counties to the wide plains of Canada. That great colony is
+being "boomed" in a most energetic way. In Sutherlandshire, I saw a
+large van, with placards and specimens of Canadian produce, being driven
+through Strath Halladale, to tempt the crofters over the deep. I have
+also, at the railway stations in the North, beheld heart-rending scenes
+of parting as the young fellows said good-bye to their parents and
+friends:</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i10">"Who could guess<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">If ever more should meet these mutual eyes."<a name="FNanchor_9_9" id="FNanchor_9_9"></a><a href="#Footnote_9_9" class="fnanchor">[9]</a><br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">{75}</a></span>
+</div></div>
+
+
+<h3>VILLAGE HALLS.</h3>
+
+<p>In most of the places I have visited, the school-house is the only
+available hall for public meetings. Now, a school-room, with its small,
+cramped seats, its lack of platform, and its defective ventilation, is
+not well adapted for large gatherings. No man likes to speak <i>up to the
+waist in audience</i>, under a low roof, and in stifling air. If less money
+were spent on needless church-building, every district in the Highlands
+might have its hall for purposes of recreation, reading, and lecturing.
+As it is, the churches should everywhere be used far more than they are
+for secular gatherings of an elevating kind. Religion suffers greatly
+from the closing of churches to concerts and lectures.</p>
+
+<p>The kindness of local lairds is nowhere more pleasantly shown than in
+the giving of funds towards the creation of village halls and recreation
+rooms. The little village of Alness has a splendid Working Men's Club,
+furnished with everything requisite for pleasure and
+profit&mdash;smoking-room, billiard-room, and reading-room. This Club owes
+its existence to the generosity of Mr. Perrins&mdash;known everywhere for the
+excellence of his famous condiment&mdash;who has an estate in the vicinity.
+Kiltarlity and Beauly have, for similar instances of discreet bounty,
+permanent reason for blessing the name of Mr. Phipps. Other instances
+that occur to me are the spacious Dunbar Hall in Auldearn, due to the
+kindness of the family of which the genial Sir Frederick Dunbar, Bart.,
+is the present representative, and the Astley Hall in Arisaig, named
+after the family so long associated with that charming West Highland
+village.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">{76}</a></span></p>
+
+<p>It must not be supposed that the natives do not thankfully welcome such
+work on their behalf. Many of the townships, it is true, have had
+libraries and halls for many a year, and have established these entirely
+on their own initiative; but outside help and enterprise stimulate local
+effort in a way often impossible otherwise, as the natives themselves
+admit. At Nethy Bridge, a fine hall, with club-room, has been recently
+erected, largely owing to the enthusiasm of a London lady resident in
+the vicinity. She was distressed to see the young fellows of the place
+loafing aimlessly about at night, and proceeded to organise some
+rational amusement for them. Her philanthropy has been greatly
+appreciated. At Kilmartin, the jubilee of Queen Victoria was signalized
+by the erection of the Poltalloch Victoria Hall&mdash;an enterprise in which
+laird and crofter alike willingly co-operated. It is in this hall that
+the Library is established. Mr. Dixon, the erudite historian of
+Gairloch, set aside the profits of his book to help in furnishing the
+reading-room at Poolewe, in Wester Ross.</p>
+
+<p>When a rural community has a library and a place to meet in, a literary
+society is, as a rule, soon formed. Such a society, founded for an
+elevating and educational purpose, forms a common meeting-ground for all
+sects, schisms, and parties. I am aware that in most towns of any size
+there are such societies in connection with the special churches. In the
+Highlands it is better to eliminate the denominational element, for the
+very good reason that, the population being small, no one of the too
+numerous churches would furnish a representative<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">{77}</a></span> enough roll of
+members. I was charmed to find that the little town of Portree, of which
+the population is not much more than eight hundred, has a fine literary
+society, established on the broad and rational lines I have indicated.
+As might be expected from the intellectual advancement and strong
+literary bent of the inhabitants, the lectures given and the subjects
+discussed at the meetings of the Portree society are of a more erudite
+nature than anywhere else in the West Highlands. Most of the Portree
+clergymen and professional men are on the list of members.</p>
+
+
+<h3>THE MOON.</h3>
+
+<p>Very few city people pay much attention to the moon: in the country that
+luminary has to be constantly deferred to when arrangements are being
+made for social meetings, dances, or lectures. When many of the audience
+have to come six, or even ten miles by land or water, light is needed,
+and light from above is best. It increases a lecturer's pride to be told
+that the plashing of oars over there on the argent face of the waters is
+an indication that some of his audience are coming from the other side
+of the loch. At the conclusion of many of the lectures, I have seen half
+a dozen traps, boats, and bicycles speeding away merrily in different
+directions. But for the bright moon, the audience would have been
+limited to the immediate neighbourhood of the place of meeting.</p>
+
+<p>It has often happened that my hotel was as much as seven miles from the
+lecture hall. As closed carriages are rare in certain districts, and as
+it frequently<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">{78}</a></span> rains&mdash;when it is not snowing&mdash;in the West and North of
+Scotland, I had many good opportunities for gauging my powers of
+endurance. The road from Killin to Ardeonaig is a fair example of a
+Highland highway:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Rough, hilly roads, that stain the spokes with mire;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Thick folds of ebon night on loch and law;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The moan of breezes wailing through the shaw<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Like the weird plaints of an Æolian lyre:<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And intermittently through the clouds, the fire<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of lightning streaks the night with glitter and awe,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And lapses swiftly in the dismal maw<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of darkness, 'mid the din of thunder dire.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">But to relieve the sad night's sullenness,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And clear the heavens for the timid moon,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The straight-descending rain riots like hail<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">For a fierce hour, in prodigal excess;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Anon the clouds unmuffle, and the pale,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Thin crescent of Diana gilds night's noon."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>The place of meeting at Ardeonaig was on the shores of Loch Tay, and the
+main road from Killin is high up and does not go near the water at this
+point. After alighting from the machine, I had to descend to the
+loch-side by a steep, miry, and circuitous road through a wood. As the
+"thin crescent of Diana," alluded to above, was not adequate to light my
+footsteps here, I struck some futile vestas, which the dripping leaves
+at once extinguished. Two elders, swinging lanterns and calling me by
+name, by and by divided the night in my vicinity. Their appearance was
+welcome, for the torrential rain had made the track one continuous
+slippery quagmire. The hospitality of the Ardeonaig<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">{79}</a></span> minister speedily
+banished all recollection of the "sad night's sullenness."<a name="FNanchor_10_10" id="FNanchor_10_10"></a><a href="#Footnote_10_10" class="fnanchor">[10]</a></p>
+
+<p>A more trying, because a longer, drive is that from Kilmun to Strachur,
+by way of Loch Eck. In the leafy month of June, nothing could be finer;
+but in a winter blizzard, one's appreciation of the glory of nature is
+somewhat less than rapturous. I mention the Strachur meeting because it
+was graced by the presence of a large contingent of local volunteers in
+civilian attire. The War Office ought to know that the inclement weather
+prevented these warriors appearing in their uniform.</p>
+
+
+
+<h3>A LECTURE IN ISLAY.</h3>
+
+<p>The westerly leg of Islay contains one or two places that have public
+libraries sent from Paisley: Portnahaven and Port Charlotte on the sea,
+and Gruinart inland and more to the north. It is a weird experience to
+drive along the shore road from Bridgend on a night of pitiless rain,
+and see the heavy mists broken every now and then by the far-reaching
+flash of the Portnahaven lighthouse. Equally weird is it to lecture in a
+school with no lamps (as happened at Port Charlotte). At eight o'clock I
+could see the faces of the audience well enough, but by and by the room
+became quite dark, and I seemed to be addressing an audience of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">{80}</a></span> silent
+and attentive ghosts. After I had finished, a Phantom arose in the far
+corner of the room and proposed a vote of thanks; and thereafter a Voice
+somewhere pronounced the benediction. Then there was a movement of feet,
+and the shadowy spectres trooped out into the night. The foolish virgins
+had no oil in their lamps; in Port Charlotte, there was neither oil
+<i>nor</i> lamps.<a name="FNanchor_11_11" id="FNanchor_11_11"></a><a href="#Footnote_11_11" class="fnanchor">[11]</a></p>
+
+
+
+<h3>SOME SPEECHES.</h3>
+
+
+<h4>MENTAL AND MATERIAL WEALTH.</h4>
+
+<p>I never heard the difference between mental and material wealth more
+forcibly expressed than by an old Perthshire shoemaker. "Supposing,"
+said he, "that I had fifty pounds in my pocket at the present moment.
+What a wild supposition, but good enough for an illustration! What
+inference would you draw from me having that sum of money? This, namely,
+that no other person in the universe has the same fifty pounds. The same
+pair of boots cannot be worn by two persons at the same time. The same
+guinea cannot be twice spent by the same man. It is different with
+spiritual things, and with works of art. Scores of people can
+simultaneously enjoy a great painting or a fine piece of music: <i>my</i>
+enjoyment does not interfere with <i>yours</i>, indeed, it is more than
+likely that my enjoyment will be<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">{81}</a></span> greatly increased from knowing that
+other people are enjoying it as I am. Then again, you can't eat the same
+loaf of bread twice: but you can return a hundred times to the same
+song, poem, or picture, and like them better the hundredth time than the
+first. A pathetic old tune does not lose anything in being sung by
+generation after generation. It is always as good as new. Like the
+widow's cruise of oil, it can be used without being consumed. These
+facts show that works of art&mdash;good books, good poems, good music&mdash;are,
+in a certain sense, immortal and divine. A hundred years ago, our
+ancestors sang 'Bonnie Doon'; we, to-day, sing it with undiminished
+fervour; a hundred years after this, the song will be fresh. Aye, and a
+humorous American writer thinks some of us will hanker for it in heaven:</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">'Perhaps in that refulgent sphere<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">That knows not sun or moon,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">An earth-born saint would long to hear<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">One verse of Bonnie Doon.'"<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+
+<h4>REAL GREATNESS.</h4>
+
+<p>The Rev. Chairman of this meeting emphasised the shoemaker's remarks in
+the following admirable words: "I often wonder what is really the
+greatest thing ever done by a citizen of this country of ours, by a man
+of English speech. If we agree with our worthy shoemaker and his way of
+thinking, we shall not look at the big accumulation of guineas as an
+indication of greatness. Certain commercial men (who ought to know
+better) seem to think God has sent us into this lovely world for the
+sole purpose of piling up as much money as possible, and then, by death,
+leaving it to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">{82}</a></span> others to spend. <i>That</i> can hardly be considered our
+reasonable service. Life is not so low-pitched as that. The best work of
+man does not admit of being put into an equation with cash. The greatest
+feat, to my mind, an Englishman ever performed was the writing of
+<i>Paradise Lost</i>. How much did John Milton get in money for his
+incomparable epic during his lifetime? <i>Five Pounds</i>: and if he had got
+five million pounds, the recompense would have been absolutely
+inadequate. History, however, has indemnified Milton for the neglect and
+poverty he endured. He has shot up into stature while those of his
+contemporaries who bulked largest in the eyes of the world have dwindled
+and shrunk into insignificance in comparison with him. The witty,
+dissolute king, Charles II., is now seen to be a wretched pigmy: Milton,
+who died in blindness and political disgrace, is the real king of that
+era, overtopping all the rulers, cabals, and intriguers. So, too, in
+Scotland, Burns is the giant of <i>his</i> period. During Burns's life, the
+Earl of Dundas was to all intents and purposes king of the country. He
+could say to whomsoever he pleased, '<i>Friend, come up higher; be you a
+Sheriff, or Lord-Lieutenant, or Justice of the Peace</i>.' Dundas is pretty
+well forgotten by this time: probably he will by and by be remembered
+solely by Burns's description of him: <i>That slee, auld-farrant chiel
+Dundas.</i> Kings and men of temporary renown do well to keep on good terms
+with the men of letters."</p>
+
+<p>It is always a great treat to hear a working-man who has the power of
+utterance deliver a speech in a straightforward and unrhetorical way.
+There is <i>always</i> a pith<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">{83}</a></span> and vigour about such deliverances quite
+unattainable in a formal harangue. The magnates of the little Fife
+villages are specially notorious for their gift of the gab: when Bailie
+M'Scales or Provost Cleaver gets up to speak, no one has any inclination
+to fall asleep.</p>
+
+
+<h4>A HIGHLAND LAIRD ON LITERATURE.</h4>
+
+<p>Max O'Rell has told us that his chairmen sometimes took advantage of
+their position to push their claims for the Town Council. I have not had
+the time at my disposal curtailed by any such municipal oratory, though,
+occasionally, my remarks on literature have seemed to the chairmen to
+stand in need of supplementing. One gentleman, in proposing a vote of
+thanks, pulled a copy of Bacon out of his pocket and read the whole of
+the famous essay on <i>Studies</i>. Another managed to bring in a lengthy
+dissertation on radium! The following speech, delivered by a Highland
+laird of a poetical turn, is noteworthy: "I am very fond of poetry," he
+said, "and yet I turn with a very languid interest to the writings of
+modern poets like Watson and Davidson. The verses of these gifted
+singers are for others, not for me. The truth is, I don't want any more
+lyrics and such like sugar pellets. My brain is already stocked with a
+plenteous supply on which I browse in weal and woe, which I almost think
+I personally composed, and to which I have attached a great many
+emotions and extraneous incidents known to nobody but myself. My old
+poetic favourites have been lying in various corners of my brain for
+forty or fifty years; I know every turn, rhyme and rhythm of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">{84}</a></span> them; and
+as they have served my need and alleviated my sorrow so long, I do not
+intend to give them many fellow-lodgers more. I do not know at what
+particular time literary nausea sets in, but Solomon had it when he said
+that of the making of books there was no end. No doubt his father David
+had primed him well in boyhood in the Psalms, and Solomon, feeling (like
+many others since) that the paternal psaltery met all his need of
+literary stimulus, would turn wearily from the heaps of presentation
+copies of new verse sent by the rising poets of Judæa for their
+sovereign's inspection. When a new book came out, Charles Lamb re-read
+an old one,&mdash;an excellent practice and one which has the additional
+recommendation of economy. It is not an unpleasant thing to find
+yourself falling back on old favourites and losing interest in the
+current hour. I knew a happy old gentleman whose reading was confined to
+Walter Scott. Every evening the lamp was lighted in the trim snuggery,
+and the appropriate <i>Waverley</i> taken down from the shelf. For such a man
+to begin a new novel would have been as irksome as travelling in a
+foreign land."</p>
+
+<p>I am bound to say that I have great sympathy with the sentiments I have
+quoted from the speech of this kilted critic. If it were possible to
+retain the elasticity and adjustableness of the mind till the end of
+life, new authors would perhaps fix our attention as much as the old.
+But only a limited number of articulate-speaking men, such as the
+omnivorous Professor Saintsbury of Edinburgh, preserve their appetite
+tireless and intact. The Professor, like a literary Livingstone, can
+grapple<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">{85}</a></span> with the most arid and dusty libraries, and is the envy of all
+scholars; but, alas! the majority of us have to take something less than
+the whole of knowledge for our province.</p>
+
+<p>It must not be supposed that all the remarks made at these meetings were
+like those I have quoted. An airy irrelevancy was quite as common as the
+serious note.</p>
+
+
+<h3>VARIETIES OF CHAIRMEN.</h3>
+
+<p>I have had experience of hundreds of chairmen, and admired most of them.
+It is rather a painful thing to have one who is utterly unversed in
+speaking. I remember being introduced in the ante-room to the chairman
+of the evening, and, big bucolic giant as he was, he seemed fearfully
+perturbed. His hand trembled, his lips were ashy-gray, and his laugh was
+a nervous grin. "I am not much used to this sort of thing," said he,
+with a poor attempt at mirth and a furtive movement of his hand to his
+waistcoat pocket, where he had his introductory speech. "All you have to
+do is to introduce me," I hinted; "you needn't say much." On the
+platform he shook so much that the whole structure quivered. He rose,
+and was received with loud applause. Happily he did not read his speech,
+but simply pointed to me and said, "G-g-go on." He sank in his chair,
+while runnels of sweat coursed down his cheeks. I admired that chairman
+more than one in Caithness, who, after angling for the honour of taking
+the chair, grew so terrified towards the hour of meeting, that he went
+to bed and sent word he couldn't be present owing to flying pains in his
+leg! In country<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">{86}</a></span> districts, reluctance to take the chair arises from a
+man's fear of making himself ridiculous; once he cuts a poor figure in
+public, discredit is for ever attached to his name.</p>
+
+<p>Highlanders as a rule make excellent chairmen. The superior gifts of the
+Celtic mind, in imagination and wealth of florid expression, nowhere
+show themselves to better purpose than when compliments have to be paid.
+Then again, the kilt is very impressive on a brawny chairman's legs: it
+commands attention and respect at once. I have little knowledge of
+colloquial Gaelic, though I have studied the grammar, and have some
+skill in reading. A little Gaelic goes a long way in stirring the soul
+of a Highland audience. Often I have heard a kilted chairman quitting
+his English for a little and giving the audience a mellifluous Ossianic
+sentence or two. The effect was electric: eyes gleamed, breath came
+quick and fast, the souls of the hearers seemed to have tasted a tonic.
+Spoken Gaelic is akin to the elements: it has a mystic affinity with the
+winds that sough around the flanks of the mountains and along the
+surface of the lonely lochs. There is perhaps not much business
+precision about it, but for preaching, praying, and poetry, it is a
+splendid medium.</p>
+
+<p>In Arran, a jovial chairman thus introduced me: "Before I left home, I
+thought of a great many nice things to say as a preface to the remarks
+of our friend from Paisley. (Here he coughed violently.) Unfortunately,
+I am unable to bestow these tit-bits on the audience owing to a
+<i>kittlin'</i> in my throat. Instead of saying what I meant to say, I think
+I had better tell<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">{87}</a></span> you a story. A minister one Sunday had occasion to be
+highly displeased with the precentor, who broke down twice in quite a
+simple psalm-tune. 'Excuse me, minister,' said the precentor, 'but I've
+got a kittlin' in my throat this morning.' '<i>Kittlin'!</i>' hissed the holy
+man in scornful wrath: '<i>it's mair like a big tom-cat</i>.' Ladies and
+gentlemen, after these few and decidedly imperfect remarks, I resume my
+seat, merely expressing the hope that our friend will feel himself as
+much at home here as the deil did in the Court of Session."</p>
+
+<p>Another chairman in an adjoining island, while engaged in tremulously
+reading his introductory speech, came to a sudden stop. An irreverent
+youth shouted, "<i>Is that a blot?</i>" After the laughter provoked by this
+query had subsided, the chairman said: "I feel to-night like a square
+pin in a round hole, or rather, like the Irishman who, when asked if he
+was dead, replied, '<i>No, I'm not dead, I'm only spacheless.</i>'" Having
+said these words with a weird attempt at mirth, the chairman sat down
+too hurriedly, and struck his head so violently against the back of his
+chair, that the noise of the impact was heard in every part of the hall.</p>
+
+<p>I may hint to anyone who lectures or preaches in the Highlands, not to
+adopt a patronising attitude or make it appear that he is talking down
+to the audience. Such a feature would be at once detected and deeply
+resented. A well-known Professor lectured to a Bute audience on
+Electricity, and out of ignorance, spoke in a very elementary way to the
+audience, defining the simplest terms, and interspersing a great many
+"<i>you know's</i>" and "<i>you see's</i>." The chairman, in proposing<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">{88}</a></span> a vote of
+thanks, slyly remarked: "We have listened to-night to a very good
+discourse, and I'm only sorry there are so few young people here. Next
+time the Professor comes to speak to us, I hope to see all the
+school-children in the hall, for the lecture to-night was admirably
+adapted to their capacity."</p>
+
+
+<h4>COMING TO THE POINT.</h4>
+
+<p>A very loquacious lawyer proposed a vote of thanks to the chairman in
+the following fashion: "Ladies and gentlemen," he said, "it is often a
+very difficult thing to come to the point. When I was at College, I
+consented once to write an essay on 'The Progress of America,' the
+subject being one of my own choosing. I wrote twenty-five pages of
+preliminary matter, and at the end of my writing, I found that Columbus
+was not landed. As my essay was to bring my hearers up-to-date on
+American progress, I became nettled at my failure to <i>get Columbus
+ashore</i> and went round canvassing among my friends to secure a
+substitute. No one would relieve me, so I was forced to slaughter an
+aunt. I was wired for, by arrangement, on the day before the meeting,
+and responded with great alacrity, knowing that there would be no
+funeral. Without wasting more words let me on <i>this</i> occasion come to
+the point, and ask you to accord to our worthy chairman a very hearty
+vote of thanks for the brilliant way in which he has kept us all in
+order this evening."</p>
+
+
+<h4>MORAL OBLIGATION.</h4>
+
+<p>A minister of a western parish thought it his duty, in the course of his
+introductory speech, to make some<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">{89}</a></span> jovial remarks on the subject of
+conscience and moral obligation. "A student of my acquaintance," said
+he, "went to Arrochar on Loch Long by excursion steamer. At mid-day,
+being thirsty, he <i>drifted thoughtlessly</i> into the hotel and asked for a
+cup of tea. With this beverage he washed over some dry biscuits he had
+brought with him from home. Imagine his surprise on being told that the
+cup of tea would cost him two shillings. Bang went not one sixpence but
+four! He looked at the maid and his breath came quick and fast; but he
+counted out the money nevertheless. Having occasion to visit the
+bathroom to cool his throbbing brow, he perceived a razor on a little
+shelf near the mirror there. At once he pocketed this razor and made
+off, whistling <i>Scots Wha Hae</i>. He had recouped himself for the
+overcharge on the cup of tea. Strange to say, every time he shaved with
+the stolen razor he feared some impending calamity. He knew enough Greek
+to be aware that Ajax committed suicide with the very sword that hero
+got from the enemy. Whenever the student disfigured his chin and
+reddened the lather with a new-made gash, he felt in his inmost soul
+that a Nemesis was being wrought out. <i>By this simple tale, my friends,
+one may see the sovereign power of conscience, which, though dormant for
+a time, invariably asserts itself and flogs the culprit.</i>"</p>
+
+
+<h4>COMPLIMENT TO PAISLEY.</h4>
+
+<p>The following remarks made by a speaker at one of the meetings are worth
+citing: "I do not wish our Paisley friend," he said, "to go back to the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">{90}</a></span>
+banks of the Cart under the impression that we are not a very literary
+people up here in Ross-shire. On the contrary, we are clean gone on
+literature. Just look at our syllabus! One night we have a discussion on
+Shakespeare. Eh? What do you think of that? Shakespeare no less! Next
+night we deal with <i>an equally great poet&mdash;Tannahill</i>." (No doubt the
+speaker meant to compliment Paisley in thus comparing the author of
+<i>Lear</i> and <i>Hamlet</i> with the poet-laureate of the loom.) I have heard
+Milton's <i>Paradise Lost</i> and Pollok's <i>Course of Time</i> clashed together
+in the same ludicrous way. I was dreadfully nonplussed on one occasion
+by hearing a speaker strongly recommend the audience to give their days
+and nights to the study of Bunyan and M'Cheyne. "Bunyan by all means,"
+said I to myself, "but who is M'Cheyne that one should be mindful of him
+and put him for importance alongside of the immortal tinker?"</p>
+
+
+<h4>ORATORY AT SALEN.</h4>
+
+<p>I shall never forget a vote of thanks proposed in my hearing by the
+excellent doctor of Salen, a pleasant little place situated on a
+V-shaped creek of Loch Sunart. I never expect to meet a more genial or
+more humorous man than the doctor, on this side of eternity. He knows
+the roads of gusty Ardnamurchan better than any other living man, and,
+night and day, by sun and by moon, in weather of clear blue, and under
+the eddying blinding flakes, he is ever on the move. He found time to
+come to the meeting and propose a vote of thanks to the donor of the
+library. Everyone listened<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">{91}</a></span> intently to him as he stood there in his
+professional frock-coat,&mdash;a thin, wiry, twinkling-eyed gentleman. "If
+the donor by any chance," said he, looking at me, "should ever sail up
+Loch Sunart in his yacht, and land among the people of Salen, to whom
+his books have given such pleasure, I should advise him not to stand too
+near the edge of the pier, for fear some of the grateful natives might
+push him over into the loch, <i>in order to have the pleasure of saving
+his life!</i>" This unexpected sally convulsed the audience, and gave a gay
+and rollicking touch to the speeches that came after. Mr. M'Gregor, a
+farmer from Resipol, broad and brawny, rose to make a few remarks. The
+schoolhouse was very hot and close, but he disdained to throw off the
+thick and ample Highland cloak which he had on, and which he had worn
+all day at the Oban Cattle Show, and on the deck of the boat that had
+brought him thence. Mr. M'Gregor had been much struck by my remarks on
+the knights of King Arthur, and their custom of sitting at the Round
+Table, to avoid questions of precedence. He spoke to this effect: "I do
+not wish the lecturer to go back to Paisley under the impression that
+Salen is not a very bye-ordinary and consequential place. We have a
+fleet of yachts out there, the like of which is not to be seen <i>between
+this and Manch-oo-ria</i>. We have a blacksmith that can preach and quote
+Scripture as well as any D.D. in the land; my friend the grocer over
+there, will give you such bargains as you could never get in
+Sauchie-<i>hall</i> Street; and we have a choir here that might give the
+angels singing-lessons. I am a very modest man, but I<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">{92}</a></span> would like to say
+just a word about this Round Table business. The lecturer says the Table
+was round so that every knight might be at the head of it. That's the
+theory, but what's the fact? I'll tell you. <i>One of King Arthur's
+knights was an ancestor of mine, and his name was M'Greegor.</i><a name="FNanchor_12_12" id="FNanchor_12_12"></a><a href="#Footnote_12_12" class="fnanchor">[12]</a> Now,
+wherever M'Greegor sat, that was always considered the head of the
+table." This contribution to Arthurian criticism was delivered with such
+force, faith, and genial glee, that no one, considering the powerful
+muscles of the speaker, was disposed to question it. (Mr. M'Gregor's
+eulogy of Salen did not comprise a reference to the local hotel, which
+is conducted on the Gothenburg system. It is comfortable and snug, but
+not whole-heartedly patronised by some of the natives, as they consider
+the system is an un-Celtic innovation, and believe further that every
+drink they take is written down in a big book with an alphabet on the
+edge of the leaves to facilitate reference).</p>
+
+
+
+<h3>LECTURE IN A DUNGEON, <span class="smcap">Etc.</span></h3>
+
+<p>I have an agreeable recollection of my stay in Saddell, on the coast of
+Kintyre, as the guest of Colonel Macleod, son of the
+never-to-be-forgotten Dr. Norman Macleod. The Colonel was born in 1820,
+was present at the Eglinton Tournament, and is, to-day, in spite of his<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">{93}</a></span>
+eighty-eight years, hale in body, sound of wind, and perfectly clear in
+the intellect. He is a walking encyclopædia of all the social and
+political changes that have come about since the accession of Victoria.
+He is also an authority on live stock, and it is intensely amusing to
+see his horses scampering from the far-end of the field when they see
+him, in the hope of getting some of the bits of sugar he always carries
+in his pocket for their benefit.</p>
+
+<p>The school-house being badly situated for the convenience of the people,
+the meeting was held in the <i>dungeon of the old castle</i>, a spacious and
+airy place quite near the beach. Altogether, I reckon this meeting as
+the drollest in all my experience. There were no windows in the
+overhanging vaulted roof, and the long stone stair leading to the ground
+above, was filled with the audience that could not get accommodation
+below. The aged Colonel presided over about one hundred prisoners, and
+humorously remarked that the table at which he was standing, was really
+a <i>patent incubating apparatus</i>, under which four dozen of Mrs.
+Macleod's chickens were coming to maturity. He hoped these embryo fowls
+would not interrupt the lecture by any unseemly remarks. At the risk of
+wearying the chickens, I spoke for an hour and a half, dealing in the
+course of my remarks (to be as apposite as possible) with the dungeon
+scene in "The Legend of Montrose," where Dugald Dalgetty squeezes the
+windpipe of the Duke of Argyll.</p>
+
+<p>In one little village hall in Kintyre, I was much perturbed by some of
+the placards that had been placed<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">{94}</a></span> on the walls. The hall had been used
+for evangelical purposes, and there, facing me, in yard-long type, was
+the dreadful command, <i>Get right with God</i>. To speak on Hood and his
+puns with those colossal letters burning their message into your soul,
+would need nerves of steel. I have not nerves of steel, and I felt
+dreadfully incommoded by the bill. For the space of five minutes I might
+occasionally forget it, and then, in the midst of some light and
+skittish quotation, my eye would light upon it, and the verses would
+come feebly and falteringly off the tongue. <i>Vox faucibus haesit.</i></p>
+
+
+<h3>SURPRISES.</h3>
+
+<p>My narrative would be lacking in completeness if I did not frankly
+confess that I have sometimes met with humiliations of a kind to wring
+the heart and call forth a sigh. In one nook of the north I stayed in
+the manse of an excellent clergyman, an eloquent preacher, but austere
+and extremely devout. He took the chair at the lecture, which was very
+well attended. Before the meeting began I was told that a local
+gentleman wished to ask me <i>an important question</i>. This was good news
+for me, as I thought the inquirer might have some literary difficulty
+which it would be profitable to handle in the course of my remarks. The
+anxious enquirer proved to be the local hotel-keeper, who, in a deadly
+earnest whisper made the following request: "You have a big meeting," he
+said, "and it's not likely there will be such a number of people so near
+my hotel for many a long day. <i>Would it be asking too much of you to
+finish up about half-past nine and give the audience<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">{95}</a></span> time to sample
+some of my commodities before departing homewards?</i> It's chiefly the
+minister I have to fear; for if he suspects I wish to do business, he'll
+prolong the vote of thanks till after the stroke of ten."</p>
+
+<p>One of my compensations in wandering Scotland thorough has been the
+heartfelt but rather naïve way in which some of the provincials have
+expressed their gratitude. "<i>I've paid half-a-crown for worse</i>," said an
+old man of Ross to me, shaking me warmly by the hand and believing he
+was uttering a most delicate and hyperbolical compliment. (Now, during
+my remarks, I had noticed this man taking copious pinches of snuff to
+enable him, as I suspected, to sit out the meeting.) Another rustic,
+this time an Aberdonian, was impressed by the number of authors
+mentioned and the copious citations from their works. "Heavens!" he
+cried, "what a memory that man has! That's the kind of partner I should
+like to have at whist: he would never forget the cards that were out."</p>
+
+<p>I know not whether to laugh or weep when I think of the occasion on
+which the following charmingly irrelevant remarks were made to me: "We
+are all proud of our village library and <i>even prouder of the feeling
+that prompted such a gift</i>. I am reminded," the speaker went on to say,
+"of a cousin of mine who got a present of exquisite fruit (preserved in
+wine) from a friend in a distant part of the country. He wrote to the
+donor saying, 'Your fruit is delicious: I like it very much; but I like
+even more <i>the spirit in which it has been sent</i>.'"<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">{96}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h3>A VISIT TO THE BORDERS.</h3>
+
+<p>In order that these pages may fitly represent all the districts of
+Caledonia that I have traversed as an uncommercial traveller, I should
+like to give a short sketch of how I reached Tweedside by way of Lanark,
+at a season when the Glasgow people were beginning their Fair holidays.
+Winter, as I remarked, is the time I prefer for travelling, but untoward
+circumstances have now and again compelled me to be on the move when
+"mid-summer, like an army with banners, was marching through the
+mid-heavens."</p>
+
+<p>I may say at once that it is a great trial to leave Glasgow at that
+particular date. The city pours forth its myriads at such a time. The
+stations are surging and heaving with throngs of men, women, and
+children, all in a hurry and all impatient. Families by tens and dozens
+are swarming about. How pathetic it is to see the father with one child
+in his arms and two clinging to his coat-tails, while the mother (poor
+bedraggled soul) is vainly striving to quieten a squalling fourth! Some
+children have lost their parents, and grope about underneath, nipping
+the legs of tourists to attract attention and get hold of the right
+father; others fall among bales of strawberries that were pulled
+yesterday in the fresh country air, but are now being trampled into gory
+pulp. Even in the fetid and dust-laden air, rendered almost unbearable
+by the hot sunlight that blazes through the overarching glass of the
+station roof, Cupid twangs his arrows, and soft eyes speak love to eyes
+that speak again. Suddenly the train arrives, and on the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">{97}</a></span> already
+crowded platform lands the human freight of twenty carriages&mdash;a fresh
+addition to the welter and confusion worse confounded. What a wealth of
+language one hears! Cyclists tinkle with bell and horn to secure the
+needed lane of passage. Porters, in desperate madness, throw wooden
+boxes down and rope-tied trunks of tin with little sympathy for injured
+knees and fiery corns. The train just in will shortly leave with a new
+load of passengers. A rush is made for the vacated seats: in tumbles the
+surging crowd without regard for the class of ticket they have
+purchased. A score of occupants per carriage is about the average; many
+swarm into the guard's van, where they are regaled with pandemoniac
+odours of ancient fish and decaying vegetables. The heavy train at
+length steams out into the open, and in an hour's time Lanark is
+reached. "<i>God made the country and man made the town</i>" is the
+involuntary reflection of the city man as he steps out of the train and
+breathes the fresh air of the hills.</p>
+
+<p>From Lanark to Peebles, by road, is thirty miles. The track is
+excellent, and if the wind is not adversely strong the joy of cycling
+the distance is difficult to parallel.</p>
+
+<p>On this route, no lumbering vehicles, laden with heavy merchandise, tear
+up the soil into ruts. No cab-drivers cast sarcastic remarks at you from
+their high perch. The only annoyance comes from the cast-off nail of a
+horse-shoe or the sharp splinter of a macadamised stone. The air is as
+fresh as on Creation's morn. Up hill and down again one can<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">{98}</a></span> hurry on
+without ever touching the brake. For the first ten miles, the stately
+bulk of Tinto dominates the landscape. What a splendid range of scenery
+the eye could grasp from the high vantage-ground of its summit in clear
+weather! As one approaches the base of the big hill, the road turns
+sharply to the east, and you feel about your ears innumerable breezes
+that blow along from the little glens leading down from Tinto's breast.
+By and by, the clean, trim, little town of Biggar appears. (The
+inhabitants are proud of the fact that John Brown, author of the
+beautiful story, <i>Rab and his Frien's</i>, was a native of the town.) One
+notices the name of Gladstone prominent above the shops, and it is a
+fact that the ancestors of the Grand Old Man were, in the days of yore,
+denizens of those quiet hamlets. After a short rest here, we (for you
+are with me, <i>ami lecteur</i>) shoot on and pass the sleepy street of
+Broughton, lying clear and radiant in the slanting rays of the sun. Here
+is the ideal spot for a country clergyman in love with Hebrew roots and
+gardening and quiet contemplation. Soon we strike the tiny waters of the
+infant Tweed, prattling and gushing up and bubbling clear over its
+snow-white pebbles. Now the breeze of gloaming blows more snell. Away
+low in the west the sun begins to gather golden clouds in pomp around
+his setting. A gorgeous glimmer, gold and red, is thrown over the whole
+sky. Keeping close beside the ever-widening stream, we dash through
+little clachans on the bank, beneath long, over-arching avenues of
+trees, and past the gates of ivy-mantled homes of blessed outlook. Here
+a croquet party stops playing,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">{99}</a></span> for the grass is getting wet with
+evening dew, and there, in the river, and up to the knees in it, are
+half a dozen anglers sweeping the wave with their spurious fly. Peebles
+is not far off, and the quiet nooks of the high road are filled with
+pedestrians. The entrance to Peebles is exquisite. The long rows of
+trees, the situation of the road high above the river in the dell,
+combine to make an eerie blend of sound from sighing leaves and gurgling
+waters. An old Border peel, Needpath Castle, stands near the straggling
+outskirts of the town, and proves, by its choice situation on the knoll,
+that our cattle-reiving ancestors were quite alive to the advantages of
+a good view. It was a stirring quarter here in the days of the old
+Scotch kings. The deadly thrust of lance has reddened every burn in the
+wide Borderland. Every brae has had its gory bicker.</p>
+
+<p>On this <i>tournée</i> I had the pleasure of giving a lecture on "Scotch
+Ballads," at a little village not more than half a mile from the
+birthplace of Dandie Dinmont. The place was full of sturdy, firm-knit
+Borderers, descendants of the dare-devil troopers who wrought such
+devastation along the Marches when the Stuarts reigned in Holyrood.
+Fresh, ruddy faces, coloured by breeze and sun; hard, keen, inquisitive
+looks; intelligence such as comes from knowledge of nature, hereditary
+quickness and good circulation of blood: all these could be instantly
+seen by glancing round the audience. (How insignificant a mere bookworm
+or scholar feels among a company of brawny Liddesdale farmers!) During
+the lecture, it was easy to note by the grim smile on their faces, their
+flashing eyes and the way<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">{100}</a></span> they gripped their big sticks, that the old
+stirring rhymes of fight struck a sympathetic chord in their hearts. Now
+and again, during the address, one could see the lips of the listeners
+moving in soft repetition of the lines, as some typical quotations were
+being made.</p>
+
+<p>It is not likely that there has been much change or influx of population
+in these districts for centuries. The alertness and intelligence of the
+natives must be to some extent an inheritance from the generations of
+strenuous clansmen whose blood flows in their veins. Life in a
+historical district is bound to have an ennobling effect on a man,
+especially if he feels knit to the past by lineal descent from the
+historical actors. A glamour of romance clings to hill and glen. The
+dalesman you meet on the highway can tell you all the lore of his
+parish, giving dates and citing illustrative lays. It is pleasant to
+find that the stories of the Borderland are still known where they first
+took birth, and that the local names, which to students instantly
+suggest delightful bits of rhyme, have also to those who dwell near
+them, a romance that is borrowed from the olden time.<a name="FNanchor_13_13" id="FNanchor_13_13"></a><a href="#Footnote_13_13" class="fnanchor">[13]</a><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">{101}</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Anyone who has travelled in the shires that run along the Cheviots and
+the Tweed, will conclude that poetry and romance may ever find a home
+there. The hills, with their green pastoral slopes and abundant leafage,
+are a delight to the eye in fresh spring and tinted fall. The sound of
+the streams, as Ruskin has pointed out, is sweet and rhythmic to an
+extraordinary degree, combining with the sough of the winds to form an
+undersong of Nature's own melody. As the traveller drives or cycles
+along the roads, he now and again gets such impressive vistas of
+long-stretching waterways, wooded to the brink with graceful trees, as
+grave themselves on the memory for evermore. For rock, crag, and dashing
+linn, the northern Highlands are supreme; but in the green Borderland,
+there is a more sedate and proportioned beauty. Nature is none the less
+attractive for losing somewhat of her wildness and austerity.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">{102}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h3>TARBOLTON.</h3>
+
+<p>In the agricultural lowlands of Scotland it is not rare to come upon
+little villages that seem entirely left behind by modern progress. Not
+long ago my work took me to Tarbolton, a quiet, uneven village in the
+heart of the queenly shire of Ayr. The railway company has treated the
+place very badly: a full fifteen minutes' drive is needed to reach the
+town from the station. It is as if the company said: "Make what you can
+of our line, ye insignificant Tarboltonians; our trains are in a hurry
+to get from Ayr to Muirkirk; be thankful if we set you down only three
+miles from your home." If it is not wet, the drive is a grand one. Five
+miles to the right, Mauchline shows its red complexion on the green
+hillside, and awakens lyric memories of Burns's imperishable mouse and
+share-torn gowan. Over the pasture lands on the right come freshening
+winds that hint of the heaving Firth not far away. The road pursued by
+the coach meanders among all that is best of rural and pastoral scenery,
+for coaly Annbank, defaced by the exhumed entrails of the earth, is
+happily on the rear. At a turn of the road, a majestic spire, that of
+Tarbolton Parish Church, suddenly stands before the view of the
+traveller, and suggests Eternity even when tolling the hours of Time.
+Soon the village is reached, and one is in a position to form an idea of
+eighteenth century Scotland. The main street is built with that
+irregularity so charmingly illustrative of the evolution of the
+builder's art. Old cots roofed with thatch take the mind back to the
+time when<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">{103}</a></span> George I. was defending the faith and maltreating his wife.
+Side by side with such are trim two-storey houses with all modern
+elegancies.</p>
+
+<p>I have a pleasant recollection of this interesting village, not merely
+from its associations with Burns (which Mr. T.F. Henderson in a dainty
+little book has recently recounted anew), but also from the fact that
+the natives keep alive the literary traditions of the place in quite a
+worthy way. The local baker has written a fluent volume of Essays
+dealing with village incidents and worthies, which proves, as Mr. Barrie
+says, that life in every stage, if truthfully portrayed, is intensely
+interesting, and that every window-blind is the curtain for some tragedy
+or comedy.</p>
+
+
+<h3>THE SCOTCH LANGUAGE.</h3>
+
+<p>Very fine Scotch is still spoken in the rural districts of Ayrshire, and
+most of Burns's dialect words are in daily use, at least by the older
+generation. The Education Department has most wisely given encouragement
+to the study of Lowland Scotch, and I do not see why a special grant
+should not be given for special excellence in that department. Some
+national movement for a complete Dictionary of Modern Scotch with
+explanations in up-to-date philology ought to be organised.</p>
+
+<p>During the lifetime of Sir Walter Scott, Dr. Jamieson published the
+famous <i>Scottish Dictionary</i>, which still holds the field as the most
+elaborate compendium of the Lowland dialects. Looked at in the light of
+modern science, the derivations are often absurd and fanciful.
+Jamieson's love for Gothic parallels led him<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">{104}</a></span> constantly astray.
+Nevertheless, his dictionary, as amended by various revisers, remains a
+stately monument of industry and a necessary adjunct in the study of the
+Scotch language.</p>
+
+<p>In our own day, Dr. Murray of Oxford has compiled an illuminating
+grammar of the language, indicating the various dialects of the Lowlands
+and their geographical areas. Local antiquarians have also written out
+lists of words special to particular counties. Dialect books, such as
+the entertaining <i>Johnnie Gibb of Gushetneuk</i>, as well as Mr. Barrie's
+delightful sketches, have put excellent specimens of provincial speech
+within the hands of a wide circle of readers. A good dictionary of
+modern Scotch, dealing with what has been written during the last two
+centuries, would be a very useful and a very interesting compendium. It
+would show that a great many expressive words employed by thirteenth
+century English writers are still in use on the Scotch side of the
+Border.</p>
+
+<p>There is no denying the fact that book-English will soon push out the
+relics of the old Scotch tongue. Burns will soon be read by lexicon,
+even in the shire of Ayr. Men now write poetry in Scotch as boys at Eton
+and Harrow write Latin verses, the result in both cases being, as a
+rule, hideous and artificial doggrel. The little book, <i>Wee Macgregor</i>,
+written in what may be called the Scotch Cockney dialect, was a brave
+and amusing attempt to phonograph the talk of a Glasgow boy of the lower
+middle class. The unlovely speech employed by the author is, happily,
+quite unlike the careful and deliberate speech of the educated citizen
+of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">{105}</a></span> Glasgow or Paisley. The main differences between the educated Scot
+and the educated Englishman are that the vowel sounds of the former are
+pure and that <i>r</i> and <i>h</i> have a real value in most words where these
+letters occur.</p>
+
+<p>It seems to me a <i>very undesirable</i> thing that a uniform system of
+pronunciation should be aimed at in every country of the British Isles.
+So long as clear and expressive enunciation of English is attained,
+intelligible differences of vocalisation, pitch, and even of vocabulary,
+are allowable, and at times positively charming. Monotony is the bane of
+life.</p>
+
+
+<h3>CHOICE BOOKS.</h3>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Whether the books are borrowed books or no<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">That show their varied stature row on row<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Along your walls, there will I truly find<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The image of your character and mind.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Light, flimsy novels suit the flying train<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Or <i>Western Isle</i> excursions of Macbrayne,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Where, dazed by gleaming firths of visible heat,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The torpid soul disdains substantial meat;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">But oft-read volumes, to which men recur<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The whole year round, bespeak the character."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>The above lines, written by some unknown poetaster, indicate that it is
+the book we read over and over again that has the greatest potency in
+our education. I quite agree with the author, and I love to behold the
+well-thumbed pocket-edition that speaks to the eye of much handling and
+frequent perusal. There are very few books <i>worth</i> reading once that are
+not worth reading oftener. Hobbes used to say that if he had read as<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">{106}</a></span>
+much literature as the majority of men, he would have been as ignorant
+as they. In that remark what depths of meaning lie! The sage of
+Malmesbury attributed his success in philosophy to his habit of
+judicious selection&mdash;to the fact that he concentrated his attention on
+those authors who were likely to help the development of his powers.
+Selection is more required now than in Hobbes's time. Few men would care
+to read more than a hundred books through in a year, and yet there are
+twenty thousand volumes added annually to the shelves of the British
+Museum.</p>
+
+
+<h3>THE ESSAYISTS.</h3>
+
+<p>It has been my privilege, during the last three or four years, to
+examine with more or less care something like four hundred bookcases,
+containing works on all departments of literature. <i>I am inclined to
+turn away in disgust if the Essayists are not patronised.</i></p>
+
+<p>Those delightful Essayists! Happy is the man who has his shelves full of
+them&mdash;writers who talk sense with wanton heed and giddy cunning, who
+spread their souls out on paper, who disarm hostility by taking you
+completely into their confidence. Addison, with the roguish gleam in his
+eye as he is calculating the number of sponges in the cost of a lady's
+finery; Goldsmith, in his London garret, talking of the ludicrous
+escapades of the Man in Black; Lamb luxuriating in reminiscences of Old
+Benchers. All these splendid, unsystematic delights, mingled with the
+breezes of byegone summers and the sunsets of long ago! Old ghosts
+whisper you their secrets; you hear<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">{107}</a></span> the brush of sweeping garments that
+have been moth-eaten these hundred years. Crowded streets of people
+appear before the eye of fancy&mdash;London in the days of Anne and the
+Georges. In the company of such wits, there are no slow-moving hours:
+you have in them friends who never need tire you, for should the
+slightest tedium intervene, you may, without offence, stop their flow of
+conversation. Our living intimates are prone to drynesses and huffs; but
+these old prattling wits ever welcome us with a smile of affability.</p>
+
+
+<h3>A BANFF THEORY.</h3>
+
+<p>While speaking of Essayists, I ought to mention a peculiar Banffshire
+theorist who addressed me in the following words: "Give me an old set of
+<i>Blackwood</i> in the Kit North days, and I can easily forego your
+pinchbeck stories and propagandist novels of to-day. I put the most
+interesting period for reading at <i>sixty years ago</i>, and I think Scott
+must have known the charm of that number when he gave the alternative
+title to <i>Waverley</i>. It is pleasant to know how the world wagged when
+your grandfather was a ruddy egg-purloining rogue of five. When I read
+farther back than a century, I feel imagination flagging&mdash;the Merry
+Monarch is not much more to me than John the Baptist. But the men of the
+forties stand out clear and distinct. If I have never seen an
+out-and-out fiery Chartist, I have at least seen some smouldering
+specimens&mdash;men with much of the eloquence and a little of the enterprise
+of the original five-pointers. It may be that as I grow older, my most
+interesting historical period will move<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">{108}</a></span> with me, keeping always at a
+distance of sixty years from the present, until, when I get within hail
+of the Psalmist's stint, I shall be most interested in childish things."
+These words rather staggered me, and set me thinking of geometrical
+<i>loci</i>. A man holding such views would find it difficult to obtain a
+bird's-eye view of history.</p>
+
+
+<h3>GOLDSMITH IN GAELIC.</h3>
+
+<p>If I had an adequate knowledge of Gaelic, combined with plenty of money
+and leisure, I should set myself the task of translating the whole of
+Goldsmith's Essays and Tales into that language, for the benefit of
+those who had no English. It would be a great feat if one could impress
+on the modern Celtic mind the conviction that piety and diversion are by
+no means incompatible. Goldsmith's <i>Auburn</i> introduces us to the most
+delightful prospect on earth: a simple village community, unacquainted
+with luxury and uncorrupted by vice. The inhabitants are full of health
+and joy&mdash;they till the soil and gain ample satisfaction for their
+unambitious wants. Life passes along bringing a pleasant succession of
+happy hours. After the labours of the day, the young people dance
+merrily on the green, and the old folk look on and regret that their own
+legs are too stiff to keep time to the fiddles. Certain Highland
+landlords might also read with advantage the exquisitely pathetic lines
+in which the poet pictures the desolation and ruin of the rural
+paradise, and perhaps conclude therefrom that, when glen and strath are
+depleted of their inhabitants, and these latter driven over the seas<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">{109}</a></span> to
+seek a foothold in strange lands, it is the very heart's blood of
+Britain that is being drained away.</p>
+
+<p>On the whole, probably no English writer has given such genuine delight
+as Goldsmith, and such genuine instruction too. Ineradicably frivolous,
+culpably negligent of the morrow, whimsically vain and living all his
+days from hand to mouth, he had the faculty of drawing upon himself the
+pity, and even the contempt, of his associates. But in the eyes of
+posterity, his happy-go-lucky life is amply redeemed by the work he has
+left behind him, for <i>it</i> is pure and good. His river of speech flows
+ever on shining like molten gold. No man of his time possessed the
+adroit knack of bright writing in a more eminent degree. The pawky
+humour of his side-hits, the blending of light and shade in the process
+of the narrative, the beauty and melody that can be noted even in the
+sound of the sentences, combine to delight the judgment, the ear, and
+the fancy. Though the <i>Vicar of Wakefield</i> is a prose production, it
+produces all the effect of a poem on the affections of the heart. Of
+wit, properly speaking, it is as full as any volume of <i>The Spectator</i>;
+with humour it is flooded from beginning to end; and in those pathetic
+delineations of life which no one can read without being profoundly
+touched, there are few poems so rich.</p>
+
+
+<h3>BIBLIA ABIBLIA.</h3>
+
+<p>In many (indeed most) houses I have visited, I see in the bookcase large
+publications in six or seven well-bound parts and as good as new,
+dealing with subjects of little interest to anyone who breathes the
+vital air of heaven.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">{110}</a></span> Such titles as <i>Science for All</i>, <i>The Thames from
+its Source to the Sea</i>, <i>The Queens of England</i> are among the commonest
+on the boards of the books I allude to. The presence of these editions
+indicates that the possessor at a certain period of his life was shy and
+could not say <i>no</i> to that limb of the Evil One&mdash;the book-canvasser. The
+latter individual is the forerunner of the colporteur, who will bring
+you, if you wish poetry, an edition of the works of Shakespeare which is
+peculiarly ill-adapted for holding in the hand and reading. The print is
+large, the page is in size like a miniature wall-map, and the
+illustrations are got up with an easy defiance of archeology. The
+annotations, though stolen, are distinguished for extreme futility.
+After you have begun the purchase of such a book, shame and chagrin
+drive you to attempt the study of it; but it is of no use, and on each
+occasion of the very regular advent of the colporteur, you are inclined
+to swear horribly, after which a period of extreme dejection supervenes
+when you recollect the many fine things you could purchase for the
+half-guinea periodically expended. The knowledge of human nature
+displayed by the man who books the order surpasses anything in the works
+of the analytical philosophers. Every artifice of attack is his, and he
+knows how to play on all the emotions so ably and exhaustively
+catalogued in the manuals of Professor Bain. I believe a gay and
+chaffing rejoinder is what he can least overcome. Suggest to him that
+you are far gone in poverty and offer to <i>sell</i> him a few of your own
+books. Frequent exercise will confirm your principles, until finally,
+when<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">{111}</a></span> you see one of the book-canvassing tribe, you will foresee half an
+hour's innocent amusement.</p>
+
+<p>Certain of the points he so feelingly brings before you may no doubt
+awaken a responsive echo in your own bosom. You are well aware, for
+example, that your knowledge of the Queens of England is culpably
+imperfect. You know you are never likely to go in steadily for the study
+of constitutional developments, and so are led to admit the
+reasonableness of tackling history from a lighter and more entertaining
+point of view. Again, as to the River Thames, one must really grant that
+a considerable amount of self-complacency and internal sunniness would
+result from the ability to contradict your friends as to the length in
+miles of some of its minor tributaries. In science, too, you are no
+Kepler or Linnaeus, and there is something satisfactory when pedants
+talk of orbits, planes, bulbs, or beetles, in being able to say that
+<i>you have a big book at home that tells all about those things</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Many people buy books, not because they have a present need for them,
+but on the chance that at some time in the future such volumes as they
+see for sale will solve a doubt or answer a need. The precise doubt or
+the pressing need rarely arises. I met a Celt who had bought a copy of
+Josephus in most irritating type, in the hope that it would help him to
+confute a Roman Catholic on the Power of the Keys. Then again, people of
+a wavering and bird-witted type of mind are constantly changing the
+subject of their interest: this month they are attacked by the <i>furor
+poeticus</i>, next month it will be a <i>furor botanicus</i> or <i>politicus</i>.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">{112}</a></span>
+Each separate frenzy means expenditure. When Browning is the temporary
+subject of the mania, a host of expository books on that poet have to be
+purchased, all of which are duly consigned to the topmost shelves when
+the soreness of the fit is past. There is also a tendency to purchase,
+because on the chance opening of a book you light on something that
+pleases the whim of the moment. It is a thousand to one that when you
+have bought the book you will not find another item worth perusing in
+the entire contents. This tendency to buy a book in a panic may be
+neutralised by remembering the story (whether true or not) of Defoe, who
+is said to have boomed the languid sale of the dreary <i>Drelincourt on
+Death</i> by means of a spicy little ghost story as introduction! Buy in
+haste, repent at leisure.</p>
+
+
+<h3>SECOND-HAND BOOKS.</h3>
+
+<p>It is a much pleasanter sight to my eyes to see a bookcase with
+second-hand books in it, for these are almost always bought to be read.
+In a teacher's house near Elgin, I recently saw a most remarkable
+collection&mdash;a veritable ragged regiment of books: single volumes of
+Plutarch, unexpurgated plays by Farquhar and Mrs. Behn, Civil War
+pamphlets, and rows of oddities. Mr. Forbes (the owner) was at one
+period of his life assistant in Falkirk, and every Saturday morning,
+rain or shine, he proceeded to the city of Glasgow, for no purpose but
+to roam through the dusty byeways and side streets in quest of
+bookstalls. He knew all the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">{113}</a></span> dealers by name, and they welcomed him, for
+he never left them without a purchase, however slight. It was a saying
+of his that while it took half-a-crown to purchase you two hours'
+amusement at a theatre, for a couple of shillings, or even less, you
+might divide out a whole Saturday most enjoyably in the old book-shops.
+He simply rioted in haggling over a threepenny piece. Even old Henderson
+feared him. This Henderson was a thirsty old bookseller who kept a shop
+at the corner of Cowcaddens and Ingram Street, and whose leading
+speciality was second-hand family Bibles, with the former genealogical
+leaf riven out and replaced by a clean sheet pasted in for the family of
+the next purchaser. To him, sitting enthroned on a pile of Bibles,
+Forbes, entering, spake: "Have you a copy of the <i>Lives of the Twelve
+Cæsars</i>?" "Aye, aye," said old Henderson, with a gracious smile;
+"<i>thirteen</i> if you like." The copy of Suetonius was produced, and "How
+much do you want for Suet.?" queried Forbes. "Half-a-crown," said old
+Henderson. "I'll give you ninepence," said Forbes. "Make it
+one-and-six," said the bookseller, rising from his Biblical throne, "and
+the book's yours." "I'll give you a shilling and a half of whisky,"
+retorted Forbes. "Say a whole glass and the shilling, and we'll do
+business," quoth the vendor of volumes. This was agreed upon, and the
+two retired into the nearest dram-shop to conclude the bargain. Every
+Saturday evening, Forbes came home by the last train, carrying his
+bundle of volumes. He was careful to fumigate them for the purpose of
+destroying any<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">{114}</a></span> microbes, and finally would sprinkle them with <i>eau de
+Cologne</i> to make them tolerable to the nose. On Sunday, he enjoyed the
+luxury of desultory reading.</p>
+
+<p>Like Mr. Forbes, I enjoy a ramble among these old shops, and can say, as
+he said to me at parting:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i8">"I love the trundling stall<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Where ragged authors wait the buyer's call,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Where, for the tariff of a modest supper,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">You'll buy a twelvemonth's moral feast in Tupper;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Where Virgil's tome is labelled at a groat,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And twopence buys what tittering Flaccus wrote;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Where lie the quips of Addison and Steele,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And the thrice-blessed songs of Rob Mossgiel;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And some that resurrection seek in vain<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">From the swart dust that chokes the lumbering wain."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+
+<h3>FAVOURITES.</h3>
+
+<p>I have often been asked: "You who are so much on the move, who have had
+so much train-travelling to do, what books would you recommend for a
+long railway journey?" I do not know that one man's likes and dislikes
+in reading are of value save as showing his own limitations, yet there
+are certain books of which I never tire. I never leave home without the
+following books handy for perusal: (i.) The <i>Odes of Horace</i>, (ii.) The
+<i>Sonnets of Shakespeare</i>, (iii.) A French novel and a few copies of the
+Paris <i>Matin</i>, (iv.) A Greek book of some kind, (v.) Pope or Addison,
+(vi.) Some Victorian classic. The list is varied enough, and has
+furnished me with much of the material for my speaking.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">{115}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h4>HORACE.</h4>
+
+<p>The pleasant thing about Horace is that his odes are so short: you can
+read one in a few minutes&mdash;shut your eyes and enjoy the mental taste of
+it&mdash;try to repeat it, and, if you fail, consult the original&mdash;then,
+finally (as Pope and many others have done), endeavour to find modern
+parallels. Suppose, <i>e.g.</i>, you are reading, as is likely, the first Ode
+of the first Book, you might find present-day resemblances like the
+following:&mdash;</p>
+
+
+<h5><i>Curriculo pulverem.</i></h5>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">What mad attractions sway the world!<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Some are unhappy save when whirled<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">In motor cars that madly race,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To leave a stench in every place,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And maim those foolish folk that stray<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Abroad upon the king's highway.<br /></span>
+</div></div></div>
+
+
+<h5><i>Tergeminis honoribus.</i></h5>
+
+<div class='block'><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Yon babbling wight, of sense forlorn,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Who thinks himself a Gladstone born,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Although a bailie, still must strain<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To gain himself a Provost's chain.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And, after that, the worthy prater<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Aspires to be a legislator;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Dreams of St. Stephen's, where he sees<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Himself hobnobbing with M.P.'s.<br /></span>
+</div></div></div>
+
+
+<h5><i>Patrios agros.</i></h5>
+
+<div class='block'><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">But Farmer Bob is somewhat saner&mdash;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">He minds his stock and is the gainer;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Content to pass his life amid<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The scenes that his old father did.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">{116}</a></span><br /></span>
+<span class="i0">With hose in hand he cleans the byre,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And saves himself a menial's hire;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">But gives his girls an education<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">That may unfit them for their station.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">But don't ask Bob to tempt the tide,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Even on a turbine down the Clyde;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Neptune and Ceres don't agree,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And farmers hate the name of sea.<br /></span>
+</div></div></div>
+
+
+<h5><i>Mox reficit rates.</i></h5>
+
+<div class='block'><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">When Skipper Smith (whose usual goal<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Is Campbeltown with Ayrshire coal)<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Is labouring thro' Kilbrannan Sound,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">He sighs for Troon and solid ground,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And swears, if he were safe on shore,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">He'd never be a sailor more.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">But once on shore&mdash;he thinks it dull,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And soon begins to tar the hull<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And caulk the timbers of his ship:<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">"I'll try," he says, "another trip."<br /></span>
+</div></div></div>
+
+
+<h5><i>Lene Caput.</i></h5>
+
+<div class='block'><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Some love to mangle turf: I see<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Them drive their balls from sandy tee,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And think their day's delight begins<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">When they are up among the whins.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Some elders, full of godly zeal,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Turn crazy about rod and reel;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And ministers, reputed wise,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Take service with the Lord of Flies<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">(Beelzebub), and like the work<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Better than prosing in a kirk.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">{117}</a></span></div></div></div>
+
+
+<h5><i>Conjugis immemor.</i></h5>
+
+<div class='block'><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Sir Samuel Cr&oelig;sus (noble wight!<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Who paid so dear to be a knight)<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Forsakes his lady for the hills,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And aims at birds he never kills.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Too late in life he shouldered gun,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Breathless he toils beneath the sun,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Sips whisky every other minute,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Until his flask has nothing in it;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Then, at the end of strength and tether,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Falls tipsy in the blooming heather.<br /></span>
+</div></div></div>
+
+
+<h5><i>Praemia frontium.</i></h5>
+
+<div class='block'><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">But as for me, my wants are few:<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">£3,000 a year would do;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A villa built upon a height,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">With ample view to left and right;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A garden with a sunny seat,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A grassy lawn with borders neat.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Inside, a study furnished well<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">(Like a true scholar's citadel)<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">With books and pipes and easy chairs;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Here, in despite of worldly cares,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">If I should write a verse or two&mdash;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A lyric that a <i>judge</i> like you<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Could read, without once yawning, through&mdash;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">I'd be as proud as any man<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">That scribbled since the world began.<br /></span>
+</div></div></div>
+
+<p>Horace is thus fit for all times and conjunctures, and is the most
+modern of all the Latin writers&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Horace still charms with pleasing negligence,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And without method talks us into sense."<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">{118}</a></span></div></div>
+
+<p>The translation of Horace's Odes into modern speech is generally
+admitted to be one of the most difficult tasks to which a versifier can
+apply himself. And yet there is no task so often essayed. It is a common
+saying in France that, when a lawyer quits the bar and retires, he is
+certain to publish a new translation of Horace after a year or two's
+studious ease. M. Loubet, we know, is a zealous devotee of the Sabine
+bard. Not the least droll of Mr. Gladstone's many feats was the
+publication, shortly before his death, of a translation of Horace's
+Odes, a translation wholly worthless indeed, in spite of the writer's
+immense scholarship, but valuable as showing the fascination exercised
+by Horace over the most austere and ecclesiastical of minds. It seemed
+strange indeed to see the great statesman turn aside from his study of
+Butler and the Fathers of the Church, in order to put into English verse
+the gay, and often scandalous odes, of an old Pagan epicure. Mr. Morley,
+who revised the translation, must have smiled as he read the old man's
+rendering of&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"<i>Quis multa gracilis te puer in rosa.</i>"<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>It is a fact, I suppose, that poetic translations of Horace are rarely
+read, save by scholars, and the verdict is almost always unkind. Yet an
+excellent anthology could be compiled by selecting the happiest
+renderings of the most talented translators. Dryden's paraphrase of
+III., 29, has been uniformly praised, and was a great favourite of
+Thackeray's. Cowper's nimble wit and classic taste are seen in his
+translation of II., 10, an ode beautifully rendered also by Mr. William
+Watson. Sir<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">{119}</a></span> Theodore Martin and Connington are always readable, Francis
+is uniformly insipid, and Professor Newman, with his metrical capers,
+absolutely absurd. Pope's "Imitations of Horace" are so brilliant, that
+no student of English literature can afford to neglect them. Pope's
+method of replacing ancient allusions by modern ones, was employed by
+Johnson in some magnificent renderings of Juvenal, and no doubt
+suggested to our Scotch vernacular poets a mode (still popular) of
+translating Horace into Doric speech. Our Scotch bards preferred, as a
+rule, to work on the Odes, and they succeeded best when they departed
+most widely from the Latin text.</p>
+
+
+<h4>SHAKESPEARE'S SONNETS.</h4>
+
+<p>The same blessed quality of brevity that attracts one in Horace is to me
+one of the recommendations of Shakespeare's Sonnets. I am glad the
+mystery of them is never likely to be discovered. From frequent perusal
+of them in the train, I know the majority by heart, but despair of
+finding any cryptogram in them.</p>
+
+<p>The cord on which these exquisite beads of poetry are strung is of the
+most flimsy and frayed character. In other words, the characters are all
+bad, and the verses that laud them are of the utmost brilliancy and
+fascination. The poet himself supplies material that would justify us in
+stigmatising his friend as a heartless and dissipated rogue. He also
+lets us know that the pale-faced lady was an unwholesome and treacherous
+minx. Yet he addresses the one in language that would be too laudatory
+for Sir Galahad, and the other he idolises and insults by turns.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">{120}</a></span></p>
+
+<p>How strange it is that the poet, while lingering fondly over the doings
+of these two un-moral persons, should give utterance to some of the most
+impressive lines in English literature! Certain of the sonnets pierce
+the heart as with an arrow: such are those that deal, in broad and
+pathetic fashion, with the ceaseless flux of all things human, the grim
+realities of the grave, the ruthless sequence of earthly events, and the
+measureless melancholy of the reflecting mind. The effect produced is
+often like what we experience in reading Ecclesiastes or Omar Khayyam.
+"Golden lads and lasses must, like chimney-sweepers, turn to dust."</p>
+
+<p>Though Shakespeare is dolefully impressed by the decay and destruction
+of all material things and by the evanescent nature of beauty, he has no
+doubt whatever of the immortality of the verses he is writing. He vaunts
+as boldly as ever Horace did&mdash;indeed, in words that suggest the <i>Exegi
+monumentum</i> ode&mdash;that his verses will outlast the proudest works of man.
+It is a sorry anti-climax to such a boast that the poet harps on the
+immortality of the dissolute youth as a consequence of the sonnets
+having an eternity of renown. Was there ever such a puzzling and
+unworthy association of ideas? The puzzle is rendered more perplexing
+still by the fact that Shakespeare took no pains to enlighten posterity
+as to the identity of the youth he praises, or even to supervise the
+publication of the sonnets. Thorpe's piratical edition was full of
+misprints, but Shakespeare, so far as we know, took no notice of it, and
+made no attempt, by giving the world a correct and authentic version, to
+secure what his<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">{121}</a></span> verses declare him to be anxious to bring about, viz.,
+the renown of his friend among generations to come. For us the youth
+still exists, no doubt, but not as an historical character. <i>He takes
+his place among the creatures of the poets imagination, and is far more
+of a shadow or phantom than any one of them.</i><a name="FNanchor_14_14" id="FNanchor_14_14"></a><a href="#Footnote_14_14" class="fnanchor">[14]</a></p>
+
+<p><i>If we suppose</i> the sonnets to be connected with real life, it is not
+easy to understand why the radiant youth, "the world's fresh ornament,"
+"only herald to the gaudy spring," etc., should need such an amount of
+persuasion to marry. Seventeen sonnets of great poetical beauty and
+felicitous language are devoted to this object. It is an exquisite treat
+to read them as works of art, but taken literally they are unspeakably
+absurd. No sane man would draw out such lengths of linked sweetness for
+the purpose named; nor would any youth, however credulous, <i>take the
+sonnets at their face value</i>. Shakespeare is merely practising his art,
+and we may be perfectly sure that these "sugared" sonnets (as Meres
+calls them), if they did circulate among the poet's private friends,
+were regarded as rhetorical exercises. They are intensely interesting,
+as showing the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">{122}</a></span> overpoweringly dramatic nature of Shakespeare's genius.
+Being impressed with the desirability of perpetuating beauty, he is
+driven to express the idea in the conventional form of a
+sonnet-sequence. The result is an exhaustiveness of treatment, a wealth
+of imaginative ornament, and a dramatic vividness of presentation that
+makes the reader marvel how so much could be made out of so little.</p>
+
+
+
+
+<h4>XENOPHON.</h4>
+
+<p>There is one Greek book, of which I have gone through three or four
+copies by carrying it about in the pocket for my <i>moments perdus</i>. I
+refer to the <i>Economist</i> of Xenophon, a gem of a book, and one on which
+I have often lectured. The title is not an attractive one, but the body
+of the work is charming in the highest degree, and gives a better notion
+of ancient Greek life than any other book in existence. Ruskin, who had
+an unerring instinct for good literature, got two of his disciples to
+put the book into English, himself furnishing a preface of
+characteristic insight and brilliancy. He might well do such homage to
+the old Greek soldier, for the <i>Economist</i> contains teaching remarkably
+like what is to be found in certain of the chapters of <i>Unto This Last</i>.
+A reader cannot fail to be struck by the wonderful modernness of
+Xenophon's writing, his love for the country, his simple and genuine
+piety, his soldierly directness, and his practical common sense. Here is
+a delightful sidelight on Greek family life, written twenty-three
+centuries ago, but which might have been spoken yesterday: "<i>My wife</i>,"
+says one of the characters, "<i>often puts me on trial and takes<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">{123}</a></span> me to
+task&mdash;When I am candid and tell her everything, I get on well enough,
+but if I hide or disguise anything, it goes hard with me, for I cannot
+make black seem white to her.</i>"</p>
+
+<p>The <i>Economist</i> is an ideal volume for the country calm: it will not
+deliver up its best to you in the city; but if it is leisurely perused
+while hayrick fragrances are in the air, while butterflies are
+fluttering round the lawns, and while the flow of a clear-gushing brook
+chimes with your fancy and the quiet tone of the old Greek's musings,
+then (be sure) the mellow sweetness of the "Attic Bee" will be
+adequately enjoyed.</p>
+
+<p>It is a great pity that life is so short, that there are only
+twenty-four hours in the day, and that, owing to the general scarcity of
+money among the intellectual portion of the community, the possession of
+free-will is a pathetic fallacy. Nobody, in these bonds of time and
+space, can do precisely what he would like to do. Mr. T. P. O'Connor
+once said that, if he were master of his fate, and his feet in every way
+clear, he would at once proceed to Athens and learn Greek. I can
+conceive no keener or greater joy than that: it is the wish of a genuine
+lover of letters. At the age of ten, I came upon an old copy of Pope's
+<i>Homer</i>, and have been in love with Greek literature ever since. The
+cares of this world, including rates and taxes, prevent me likewise from
+proceeding to the City of the Violet Crown, but there are plenty of
+cheap copies of Homer to be had in Scotland, and it is no disadvantage
+that some of them have the translation printed on the opposite page.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">{124}</a></span></p>
+
+<p>So many things have to be learned at school now, that Greek is being
+pushed out. In future, it will be a University subject solely. That is a
+great pity, for although there are fine translations of the Greek
+authors in English, these are not so much read as they ought to be.
+Greek itself would be much easier to learn if editors would write fewer
+and shorter notes.<a name="FNanchor_15_15" id="FNanchor_15_15"></a><a href="#Footnote_15_15" class="fnanchor">[15]</a></p>
+
+
+<h4>FRENCH LITERATURE AND JOURNALISM.</h4>
+
+<p>I am always delighted to see French books on the shelves of a rural
+library. I notice Dowden's <i>French Literature</i> in many a Highland
+bookcase; and I am sure it will please that erudite and most excellent
+professor to know he has hundreds of students who never saw his face.
+Everybody should learn the French language: I don't know a better
+intellectual investment. French is rich in precisely those qualities
+that English lacks. It is not necessary, for proof of that statement, to
+read Gautier, Bourget, or Hugo. A daily paper from Paris supplies all
+the proof required.</p>
+
+<p>I freely admit that the French newspaper seems, on first acquaintance,
+to be a wonderful and puzzling affair. It is never dull or tiresome, or
+glum. You may have<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">{125}</a></span> your dearest susceptibilities wounded by it, but you
+won't fall asleep as you read its columns. Humour trickles from
+paragraph to paragraph; wit coruscates in the accounts of the most
+ordinary police cases; and abundant of dexterous literary workmanship is
+to be found in the leading articles. In spite of such admirable
+qualities, there is an element of frivolity, a lack of seriousness (I
+speak of the typical Boulevard sheet) that is at first rather shocking
+to a British reader. He finds grave subjects treated with a fineness of
+touch and a lucidity of reasoning at once charming and full of
+edification: but, lo! a pun trails accidentally off the journalist's
+pen, or an odd collocation of ideas jostle each other in his brain: the
+writer at once stops his instructive reasoning; he goes off the main
+line and careers bounding down some devious side-path of entertaining
+nonsense. Our home papers are almost uniformly staid; they are written
+conscientiously, laboriously, commendably. But, after all, the French
+are right in trying to inject as much entertainment as possible into the
+daily record of mundane things.</p>
+
+<p>I regret to say that the majority of French newspapers do not give their
+readers a quite fair or accurate account of events happening outside of
+France. French topics, as is right, have the bulk of the space, and
+foreign events are usually treated in a very prejudiced and perfunctory
+way. The Frenchman's enthusiasm for home politics does not leave him
+much emotion to spare for the rest of the world. Political life with him
+is always more or less in a state of turmoil. There is usually some
+scandalous <i>affaire</i> afoot or impending, to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">{126}</a></span> which political import can
+easily be given. Many of the most talented editors, being members of the
+Chamber, import into their articles much of the heat and unreasoning
+vehemence engendered by the violence of direct debate. There has always
+been a feeling since the <i>great</i> Revolution that <i>others</i> might follow,
+and that one or other of the royal gentlemen of this or that
+disestablished race might, by some cyclone of popular or military
+sympathy, be blown back to power in Paris. Unluckily, there are far too
+many parties in France, far too many nicknames, badges, and shibboleths.
+The language of political discussion is bitter, and heated beyond
+anything the cooler Anglo-Saxon would tolerate. And yet, amid all such
+electric discharges of wordy rancour, the French nation goes on its way
+rejoicing, not a penny the worse, making wines, silks, and fashions, for
+an ungrateful world.</p>
+
+<p>There is now, and always has been, a strange sympathy between France and
+Scotland. A Scot learns French, as a rule, easily. One of the striking
+differences between dialect Scotch and book English is precisely the
+peculiar French ingredients in the former. For three hundred years the
+two countries were allies, and the advantages to England may be gathered
+from the remark of King Henry V. in Shakespeare's play&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"For you shall read that my great-grandfather<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Never went with his forces into France,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">But that the Scot on his unfurnished kingdom,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Came rolling like the tide into the breach."<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">{127}</a></span></div></div>
+
+
+<h4>GIL BLAS.</h4>
+
+<p>One French book that has solaced my leisure (in train, steamer, and
+trap), is that altogether delectable volume <i>Gil Blas</i>. It would be
+worth learning French to be able to read the book in the original. The
+characters are non-moral reprobates who lie, rob, and drink with the
+most unaffected sincerity. Vice loses all its grossness, and becomes
+intensely entertaining. The tone of the confessions is at once subtle
+and naïve, tragic and trivial, comic and pathetic. The humour is
+absolutely colossal: many English books, alleged to be humorous, do not
+contain, in their entire bulk, as much humour as a single chapter of
+this great work. For brilliancy of style it stands very high, and few
+authors, either in France or elsewhere, have attained such admirable
+clearness, precision, and pith. Read <i>Gil Bias</i>, say I, if you wish to
+appreciate the possibilities of the French tongue, and taste all the
+delicate flavour of its racy idiom.</p>
+
+
+<h4>ROMANCE AND AUGUSTANISM.</h4>
+
+<p>There is a well-known text of Scripture, "In my father's house are many
+mansions" which, with a slight turn, might be applied to the House of
+Literature. There is room there for every pure and beautiful expression
+of human thought and emotion. Romance and Augustanism have both the
+right of entry.</p>
+
+<p>I am glad to see that Alexander Pope, the cleverest of our English
+bards, is still a popular favourite wherever I go. It would be a pity if
+this were not so, for<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">{128}</a></span> he is head of the guild of Queen Anne wits, and
+no one of them can rival his instinctive delicacy, careful workmanship,
+and crystalline lucidity. His skill in the coining of impressive
+aphoristic couplets is unrivalled: it is almost as good as a novel
+addition to truth to find an old maxim supplied with the winged words of
+such a consummate verbal artist. Pope is a writer who appeals directly
+to all readers, for he never hides poverty of thought in a cloud of
+vague words.</p>
+
+<p>In Pope and his fellows we miss the lavish magnificence and unchartered
+freedom of the spacious times of great Elizabeth. Instead of Spenser's
+amazing luxuriance of matter and metre, we have a neat uniformity and
+trim array of couplets, which suggest the constant supervision of the
+pruning craftsman. Compared with the Elizabethans, Pope's time has less
+wealth but more careful mintage, less power but more husbanding of
+strength, fewer flights of imagination but finer flutterings of fancy,
+little humour but abundance of clear and sparkling wit. <i>It is not a
+difficult task, by means of suitable selections, to bring home to an
+audience of crofters the salient differences between the poetry of Pope
+and of Spenser.</i></p>
+
+<p>It is also easy to show to any audience that the quality which pleases
+to such a high degree in poems like the <i>Highland Lass</i> and <i>Yarrow
+Revisited</i>, there is a romantic charm and thrilling magic which Pope
+never could produce. A line or two from one of the poems cited has a far
+more potent effect over the affections of the heart than the gorgeous
+declamatory rhetoric of <i>Eloisa and Abelard</i>. But it would be foolish<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">{129}</a></span>
+to suppose that because Pope has not the passion for nature nor the glow
+of self-oblivious benevolence, he has not highly educative and estimable
+features. He should not be censured for what he never meant to supply:
+we should rather strive to cultivate catholicity of taste by extracting
+from his poems the information and enjoyment they are so well able to
+furnish.</p>
+
+<p>The Prologue of Pope's <i>Satires</i> is, of course, the best introduction to
+a systematic study of the works of this writer. That poem is the
+masterpiece of Pope's volume, and exemplifies better than any other
+piece the striking and brilliant qualities for which he is so famous. In
+perusing it, the reader soon discovers that he is in presence of a work
+which is the result of incessant and prolonged labour, and which,
+consequently, deserves patient study. The works of a great technical
+artist require such elaborate treatment if the force of their genius is
+to be adequately felt.</p>
+
+
+<h4>VICTORIAN WRITERS.</h4>
+
+<p>If any man proposes to stay a month among scenery of hill, mountain, and
+lake, I should advise him to slip a copy of Wordsworth into his pocket,
+and read therefrom an hour daily; not hurrying over the pages, but
+turning aside, now and again, to take in the glory of pinewood, heather,
+and linn. In no volume, ancient or modern, can a tired man find such
+soft and genial balm for his weariness as in the calm pages of the Rydal
+singer. The poet is at his best in the broad region of natural religion.
+He looks round on the beauties of the world with that solemn awe a man
+feels in the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">{130}</a></span> hallowed precincts of a mediæval temple. The grandeur and
+mystery of the world throw him into a kind of enchantment: his own soul
+and that of the universe touch and commune with each other. In his rapt
+verses we feel some of that mystic thrill felt by a devotee in the open
+sanctuary of the Almighty. No man ever interpreted Nature in such
+inspired strains as William Wordsworth. What supremely delights the
+lover of scenery is that this poet's muse can overwrap the exact and
+detailed knowledge of Nature with a superb mantle of idealistic glory.
+He saw and understood the harmony of Nature's forms and colours through
+all the seasons: at the quiet ingleside he meditated on what he had seen
+and heard, enshrined these in verse, and added to them the warmth of his
+own devout and sensitive soul. There is no exaggeration in Arnold's
+tribute:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"He laid us, as we lay at birth,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">On the cool, flowery lap of earth,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Smiles broke from us, and we had ease;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The hills were round us, and the breeze<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Went o'er the sunlit fields again.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Our foreheads felt the wind and rain,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Our youth returned; for there was shed<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">On spirits that had long been dead&mdash;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Spirits dried up and closely furled&mdash;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The freshness of the early world."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>Of Wordsworth and his successor, Tennyson, it is impossible to speak
+save in terms of affectionate gratitude. God looked kindly on Britain
+when he sent two such men to minister to us. Tennyson did more than all
+the bishops of the Church of England to stifle crude<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">{131}</a></span> infidelity and
+equally crude religious bigotry. There is not a single line he ever
+wrote of which in his last days he had need, from the point of view of
+truth and morality, to be ashamed. He increased the world's stock of
+happiness by poems which have been the solace of men and women in the
+hours of darkness and doubt, which have led men to rise to nobler things
+on the stepping-stones of their dead selves, and which, I am certain,
+his grateful fellow-countrymen will not willingly let die.</p>
+
+<p>It is not the least of Tennyson's claims to our gratitude that his
+genius was sensitive alike to the beauties of Celtic and of Anglo-Saxon
+verse. It would be difficult to overpraise his masterly rendering of the
+"Battle of Brunanburh," a vigorous old poem he found in the <i>Saxon
+Chronicle</i>. Equally fine is his "Voyage of Maeldune," founded on a
+Celtic legend of the seventh century. Those who wish to know what is
+meant by Celtic glamour should read the last-named poem without delay.</p>
+
+
+<h3>CELT AND SAXON.</h3>
+
+<p>Between the literatures of the Celt and the Saxon there are, indeed,
+well-marked differences. The Anglo-Saxons were a set of enterprising
+pirates, who drove their keels over the misty ocean, came to Britain and
+took forcible possession of it, dispersing or enslaving the original
+possessors. They left a literature which is, in many respects, highly
+interesting, but is in the main devoid of sunshine, humour, and
+sprightliness. The old poem of "Beowulf," with its rough and sturdy<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">{132}</a></span>
+verses, all splashed with brine, contains very few figures of speech: it
+is a poem, but not markedly poetical; it is solid and impressive, but
+not beautiful. Now, no one can read Celtic poetry, even in translation,
+without being powerfully struck by its refined beauty and mystic
+romance. The metaphors and similes are somewhat too abundant. The
+typical Anglo-Saxon has a firm grip of the world, but is not poetical
+enough; the Celt, on the other hand, is probably too much of a dreamer
+and a poet&mdash;he sits on the hill-side (forgetting sometimes to till it)
+and muses on fairies, second-sight, and enchantments. St. Paul used the
+right word in speaking to the old world Gaels, <i>i.e.</i>, Galatians: "O
+foolish Galatians, who hath <i>bewitched</i> you?" (<span title="[Greek: tis humas
+ebaskane?]">τίς ὑμᾱς ἐβάσκανε;</span>)</p>
+
+<p>Combine these two races in the right proportion, and you get an
+admirable blend. It is not for me to say where the just man made perfect
+is to be found, the man in whom the elements&mdash;practical and
+poetical&mdash;are mixed in such exquisite proportion, that Nature might
+stand up and say, "<i>There is a man</i>." What is certain, is that there is
+a very pronounced strain of Celtic blood coursing through the veins of
+the average Scotch Lowlander. Few Scots have to rummage far among their
+ancestry before they find a piece of tartan: such mixture of genealogy
+probably accounts for much that is best in their composition.</p>
+
+<p>The supposition that the Scotch race-combination is Celt and Saxon, and
+only that, is of course erroneous. There is a very marked Scandinavian
+element both in the east and the west of the country. In the year<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">{133}</a></span> 1600
+<span class="smcap lowercase">A.D.</span>, the Norse tongue was spoken all over the Long Island from the Butt
+of Lewis to Barra. Certainly, in Lewis and Skye, an enormous number of
+the place-names are Scandinavian, and date from a time when the
+sea-kings had dominion over the islands of the West. Many fascinating
+problems of ethnology continue to occupy the attention of investigators,
+and are not likely to be settled for a long time to come. One thing is
+abundantly clear, viz., that purity of race and speech does not exist in
+any county of Scotland: everywhere there is a mixture of blood and
+language.<a name="FNanchor_16_16" id="FNanchor_16_16"></a><a href="#Footnote_16_16" class="fnanchor">[16]</a><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">{134}</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></a>CHAPTER III.<br />
+<br />
+<span style="font-size: 75%;">ECCLESIASTICAL.</span></h2>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>Sectarian feeling&mdash;Typical anecdotes&mdash;Music and
+religion&mdash;Ethical teaching in schools&mdash;The Moderates&mdash;A savoury
+book&mdash;The Sabbath&mdash;"The Men of Skye"&mdash;The auldest kirk&mdash;The
+Episcopal Church&mdash;An interlude of metre&mdash;The Christian
+Brethren&mdash;Drimnin in Morven&mdash;Craignish&mdash;A model
+minister&mdash;Ministerial trials in olden times&mdash;An artful
+dodger&mdash;Some anecdotes from Gigha&mdash;Growing popularity of Ruskin.</p></div>
+
+
+<h3>SECTARIAN FEELING.</h3>
+
+<p>In a small country township, all the influences that operate to divide
+men into sects and parties are keenly and continuously felt. To a
+dweller there, it is well-nigh impossible to keep out of the arena of
+strife. Now that there is so much confusion and division in religious
+matters, strong feeling is more easily stirred on any secular subject
+that may happen to arise for discussion. If the Wee Frees, for example,
+desire a new road in a certain direction, the United Frees will probably
+deride the scheme and unanimously petition against it. Their antipathy
+to each other becomes envenomed by their persistent proximity: if you
+are a villager, you cannot get away from your adversary&mdash;in the morning,
+when looking out of the window, you see him tilling his croft, mending
+his nets, or washing his face in a tub at his front door. The fact that
+he is<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">{135}</a></span> there is an obstacle to your peace of mind. If you did not see
+him so often, you would more readily come to believe that he possessed a
+conscience and some shred of principle and decent doctrine.</p>
+
+<p>In a distant seaside town a library had been procured, and (though
+doctrine was not at stake at all) a most virulent debate at once arose
+as to where it should be housed. The United Frees voted for the school;
+the Wee Frees called aloud for the post-office. It would require the pen
+of Dean Swift (who did such justice to the strife between the
+Big-Endians and Little-Endians) to recount in appropriate style the
+intrigues and stratagems of the rival religionists. The local teacher
+did not wish the books in school <i>because</i> the proposal came from the
+enemy. He was powerfully supported by all the young fellows of the
+place, whose reverence for him, born of recent severe whackings, was
+limitless. This teacher had an eloquent and vitriolic tongue, and
+delivered himself thus: "What have I not done for the island? What have
+these reprobates ever done? Who was it that got the frequent Macbrayne
+connection with the mainland? <i>I did.</i> Who got up the concert to buy
+seats for visitors coming north from Glasgow? And yet for every blessing
+I give them, I get ten curses. <i>But I'll choke them yet.</i>" It was
+needless for the United Frees to demand a plebiscite&mdash;or, as they called
+it, a <i>ple-biscuit</i>&mdash;the dominie was too forceful, persistent, and
+phraseful for them, and at the public meeting he laughed down a teetotal
+opponent by singing out: "Sit down on your seat, man; <i>it's the drink
+that's speaking, no' you!</i>"<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">{136}</a></span></p>
+
+<p>No matter what the subject may be, there is usually a smack of
+ecclesiasticism in the ordinary give-and-take of conversation. I cannot
+illustrate this better than by giving the Lewis man's reply to an
+enquiry as to <i>how his wooden leg was behaving</i>. The enquirer was a
+newly-elected United Free elder, while he of the timber toes was a
+staunch Disruptionist. "Well," said the latter, "my wooden leg is not
+unlike a U. F. elder; it's not exactly perfection, but, considering
+everything, we must just be putting up with what we can get." This was
+said at a time when the Wee Frees were in a big majority in certain
+parts of the Highlands, and when, as a consequence, United Free elders
+had to be selected out of diminished congregations.</p>
+
+
+<h3>TYPICAL ANECDOTES.</h3>
+
+<p>The venerable Lord Halsbury, so well known for his judgment in the great
+Church case, resided, shortly after the decision, in the neighbourhood
+of Forres. Men plucked each other by the sleeve as he passed along the
+street, and pointed with awe to the keen-witted lawyer who had caused
+such a kick-up in the realm. His most innocent doings were watched. One
+day he went into a book-shop and made a purchase. When he came out, in
+rushed a brace of theologians to enquire what he had bought. It turned
+out that he had purchased a copy of <i>Comic Cuts</i>. The news was all round
+Forres in an hour's time, and caused much consternation. "What great men
+do, the less will prattle of," and it is so difficult for the former to
+act up to their heroic rôle.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">{137}</a></span></p>
+
+<p>How thoroughly our dear native land has enjoyed its theological battles!
+Will there ever be a truce to the long wars of faith? One cannot see
+much ground for a too sanguine hope. After a library had been given to a
+little village in the West, I paid the usual visit to the place, and
+requested a free expression of views as to the suitability of the books
+that had been given. One venerable old native, with eyes of fire, called
+out: "<i>This Paisley Library has one fatal lack: it contains no works on
+controversial divinity.</i>" I ventured to hint that perhaps the omission
+was intentional, but that he absolutely refused to believe.</p>
+
+<p>Coming through the Sound of Mull one blustery November day, I heard a
+most animated discussion on the question "Has the Deity unlimited Free
+Will?" The disputants had all the appearance of sensible crofters&mdash;they
+certainly talked more intelligibly than most commentators on Kant. Some
+of the ship's crew joined in the talk in such a way as to show that they
+understood perfectly well the question at issue. Every member of the
+ring was wet (the rain was coming down in torrents during the whole
+argument), but neither "Ayes" nor "Noes" would admit defeat. When the
+boat touched the terminus of Tobermory, much still remained to be said,
+and the amateur theologians retired to sum up in a local bar-room. The
+incident is characteristic, and could have happened in no other country
+but Scotland. Presbyterianism has made the Scot somewhat too
+disputatious, but it is surely better to see a man interested in
+religion than in nothing at all.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">{138}</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Talking of the union of the Free and U.P. Churches, I am reminded of a
+laughable tale told of a Hebridean minister. "Themselves and their
+Union, I say, themselves and their Union," he remarked; "I will have
+nothing to do with it. I was born Free, ordained Free; I have lived
+Free, and I will die Free." "But what about the stipend, Angus?" said
+his wife, douce and cautious woman. "Ah, the stipend! Well, if I lose my
+stipend, you will have to put on a short petticoat, strap a creel on
+your back, and sell <i>fush</i>." "And what will you do, Angus, when I'm away
+selling <i>fush</i>?" "Oh, I will stay at home and pray for a blessing on
+your efforts."</p>
+
+<p>The use of Scriptural expressions undoubtedly gives great force to the
+language of every-day life. As is well known, certain classes in cookery
+have recently been established in a few northern villages. A Highland
+minister, in publicly commending these classes, remarked, with a rueful
+grimace: "I <i>do</i> wish such classes as these had been in existence when
+my wife was young; for, as it is, every dinner she serves up to me is
+either a <i>burnt offering or a bloody sacrifice</i>!"</p>
+
+<p>The following story comes from a minister in the neighbourhood of Loch
+Awe. "A clergyman of my acquaintance was stationed in a poor parish near
+my own, and he called on the local laird for financial aid to help on
+some of the church schemes. This laird was a well-known philanthropist,
+but the call was made at the wrong psychological moment, for he chanced
+on this particular day to be in a very bad humour. He listened to the
+minister with great impatience, and at<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">{139}</a></span> last, bounding to his feet and
+pointing to the door, he shouted: 'Silver and gold have I none, but such
+as I have, give I unto thee: in the name of Beelzebub, rise and
+<i>walk</i>!'"</p>
+
+<p>It was my unfortunate experience to witness a great amount of sectarian
+strife in the north and west during my various visits. Sometimes my
+prospective chairman was unable to preside, owing to his having taken
+part in a doctrinal scuffle, and having his coat torn, and his church
+captured. These fantastic doings are in no way edifying, and are
+extremely shocking to our national pride.</p>
+
+<p>Theologically, many districts of the Highlands have not advanced beyond
+the stage occupied by Lowland Scotland in the time of Burns. In certain
+parishes, the communion is dispensed in the open air, in the way
+familiar to readers of the "Holy Fair." Sky overhead, grassy turf
+beneath, solemnity, sobs, and sighs all around, certainly make up a most
+impressive whole. The sermon is unmercifully long&mdash;two hours, at least:
+probably, if translated into English, and shorn of repetitions, it could
+be given in one-fourth of the time. If you or I, dear Lowlander, should
+stand on the outside of the crowd, and appear more curious than devout,
+we should certainly be alluded to in the sermon as <i>those wicked
+people</i>. The discourses are no gilt-edged harangues dealing with the
+"larger hope," and larded with quotations from Tennyson and Browning.
+They are, on the contrary, full of Tartarean sulphur and strange fire,
+and rich in grotesque illustrations, of which this is a sample: "My
+friends, crowds of loathsome fiends<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">{140}</a></span> are sent by the Prince of the Power
+of the Air to tempt us to our destruction. They hang over us waiting for
+their opportunity, just like a regiment of black crows hovering over a
+potato-field."</p>
+
+<p>I am afraid that crude Calvinism, as preached in certain parts of the
+north, is nothing less than monstrous. The good God, beneficent Father
+of us all, is unrecognizable when eternal reprobation is represented as
+the inevitable fate of the vast majority of His children. In time, no
+doubt (and the sooner the better), the results of modern theological
+thought will penetrate into the uttermost nooks of the land.</p>
+
+
+<h3>MUSIC AND RELIGION.</h3>
+
+<p>It is not easy to see why religion should be associated with gloom and
+disheartening ugliness. The long-drawn music of an Old Testament psalm
+is not without a certain doleful impressiveness, but the human soul
+needs occasional stimulus, even on Sundays, of something less
+lugubrious. Certain congregations hate hymns: they consider them carnal
+and uninspired. As for organ-music in a church, that would be <i>praising
+God by machinery</i>, a preposterous and intolerable approximation to
+Popery. Not long ago, a poor crofter in a Hebridean township, came to
+his minister, requesting that good man's offices for the christening of
+a child. The crofter in question was the possessor of an asthmatic old
+concertina, and the clergyman, before the rite of admission to the
+visible church could be performed, insisted on the annihilation of the
+ungodly instrument of music. The minister, in person, visited the croft,
+and disabled<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">{141}</a></span> the concertina with a hammer. The child was then
+christened, and the clerical zany strode off victorious, feeling he had
+done a good day's work for Heaven. "Who ever heard of the Apostle Paul
+playing on an organ?" was the question once propounded by Dr. Begg. The
+argument was a splendid <i>reductio ad absurdum</i>, and resembles the old
+reason for the reluctance of the peasantry to eat potatoes, because no
+mention was made of them in Holy Writ. But songs and music are filtering
+into the glens, in an official way, by the agency of the Scotch
+Education Department. Musical drill is a feature of the school-room, and
+it is a joy to think that such is the case. Some of the old folk,
+however, look on astounded and shocked; they shake their heads, and
+would, if they could, abolish such frivolity. "Why all this singing and
+tramping?" said a Skyeman to me once. "What good will all the songs of
+the world do to a man when he comes to his death-bed? I would rather,
+this very moment, sit down in a public-house, and drink till I was
+intoxicated, than screech and howl these worldly airs." Life was not so
+absurd in the days of the Catholic ascendency. But human nature is
+slowly asserting itself, and the days of the glum tyrannical zealot are
+assuredly numbered.</p>
+
+
+<h3>ETHICAL TEACHING IN SCHOOLS.</h3>
+
+<p>In some districts of the North, the inspectors have considerable trouble
+with certain teachers of the devout type who, from conscientious
+scruples, refuse to read to the children anything in the nature of a
+fairy tale. While examining a class in a remote Sutherland school,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">{142}</a></span> an
+inspector requested the schoolmaster to narrate to the children, in
+Gaelic, the story of Little Red Riding Hood, and get them thereafter to
+put it into English. But the teacher most emphatically refused: "No, no,
+I cannot do that: it is all a lie; wolves do not speak; <i>no animal
+speaks</i>." The inspector, to refute him, unwisely alluded to the
+Scripture account of Balaam's ass in the twenty-second chapter of
+Numbers; whereupon, the dominie nearly swooned at the impiety of
+comparing that inspired animal with a secular beast like Grimm's wolf.
+For some time after, the inspector was bombarded with anonymous letters,
+accusing him of habitually <i>sitting in the scorner's chair</i>. He was
+terrified lest some Member of Parliament, eager for a grievance, should
+be got to move the adjournment of the House of Commons, with the
+righteous object of directing the attention of Government to Little Red
+Riding Hood and the naughty inspector of schools.<a name="FNanchor_17_17" id="FNanchor_17_17"></a><a href="#Footnote_17_17" class="fnanchor">[17]</a></p>
+
+
+
+<p>The question of religious teaching in schools is capable of an easy
+solution, and we in the south have come pretty near solving it. The best
+solution is to have no dogma at all in the school-room. The Catechism
+and Prayer-book are excellent in their way, but the school is no place
+for them. We have a very complete and extensive organisation of churches
+in the land, and an<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">{143}</a></span> army of officials ordained to teach doctrines and
+tenets: let them take up the inculcation of creeds and rites, but don't
+let us perplex the school children with catechisms and metaphysical
+definitions. It is easy to make a distinction between morality and
+doctrine&mdash;a distinction which is alike clear and reasonable. Morality is
+an earthly and secular affair, and has to do with matters of elementary
+honesty such as every responsible citizen of a free country ought to
+practice. Religion is a higher affair, dealing with our relationship to
+the unseen: it is outside the province of the teacher, and should not be
+thrust into the school programme along with history and geography and
+grammar. Morality is of this world: religion of the next. Let everything
+be kept in its proper place. As to that division of duty which deals
+with right conduct, there is no controversy whatever. <i>Thou shalt not
+steal</i>; <i>thou shalt not bear false witness</i>&mdash;these, and the like
+elementary rules of conduct, are universally admitted to be right, for
+they are the groundwork of society. Take these away, and the world
+lapses into chaos. The following virtues are capable of being taught in
+schools:&mdash;(1) a strict adherence to the truth; (2) the application of
+the golden rule; (3) cheerful obedience at the call of duty; (4)
+reverence and respect for everything noble and great in the history of
+the world. These can all be taught, and are actually taught, by every
+conscientious teacher in the country. They constitute not the whole of
+duty, indeed, but the most difficult part of it&mdash;certainly all that need
+come into the realm of pedagogy.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">{144}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h3>THE MODERATES.</h3>
+
+<p><i>Ami lecteur</i>, have you ever heard of the <i>Moderates</i>? If, by chance,
+you have dipped into the interminable controversies that gyrated round
+the Disruption year, it is probable you may have heard more than enough
+of them. One gets the impression that they were an unimpassioned,
+easy-going, anti-brimstone, but highly estimable body of men. They were
+blamed for preaching morality and not the penetrating mysteries of the
+faith. In "The Holy Fair," Burns gives us an inimitable picture of the
+moral philosopher in the pulpit:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"But hark! the tent has changed its voice,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">There's peace an' rest nae langer,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">For a' the real judges rise&mdash;<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">They canna sit for anger.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Smith opens out his cauld harangues<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">On practice and on morals,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">An' aff the godly pour in thrangs<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">To gie the jars an' barrels<br /></span>
+<span class="i8">A lift that day.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"What signifies his barren shine<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Of moral powers an' reason?<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">His English style and gesture fine<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Are a' clean out o' season.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Like Socrates or Antonine,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Or some auld pagan heathen,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The moral man he does define,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">But ne'er a word o' faith in<br /></span>
+<span class="i8">That's richt that day."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>I confess to a certain liking for Smith. He knew what was good for the
+Holy Willies and the other "chosen samples" and "swatches o' grace" in
+his auditory.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">{145}</a></span> Like a sensible man, and like the Apostle James, he laid
+more stress on "practice and on morals" than on lip-worship and faith.
+"Faith without works is dead" is a dictum that needs to be incessantly
+emphasised, and nowhere more than in certain ultra-orthodox localities
+of Scotland at the present day.</p>
+
+<p>The Established Church is, with few exceptions, a negligible
+denomination in the Hebrides. For some reason it is regarded as the
+modern representative of the Moderate or Broad type of Calvinistic
+Christianity, and, as such, an abomination to the zealots. To show what
+a poor hold the Establishment has in Lewis, it is enough to remark that
+there are in that island only 183 Auld Kirk communicants out of a
+population of 32,947. Figures almost equally striking could be given for
+the Presbyteries of Uist, Skye, and Glenelg. The chief occupation of
+some parish ministers in insular Scotland must be that of killing time.
+I once met one of these reverend gentlemen in one of the hotels in
+Stornoway. He seemed to take a pleasure in running contrary to all the
+darling prejudices of the islanders. Dancing he approved of; he did not
+believe in prefacing his prayer or homily with a sanctimonious whine;
+and he actually was willing to admit that a few Catholics might get to
+heaven. An equally glaring fault&mdash;in the eyes of bigotry, I mean&mdash;was
+that he <i>dropped into poetry</i> at stated times, and sent his Gaelic
+verses to one of the Highland newspapers. The Parish Church buildings,
+in many localities of the West Highlands, are in a woeful state of
+disrepair. They have a prevailing odour of must and damp; the seats are
+hard<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">{146}</a></span> deal, unkind to the human anatomy; doors and windows rattle and
+shake during the service; creeping things move along the walls;
+sometimes the floors are nothing but the uneven and unconcealed Scottish
+earth. In such churches, there is some credit in being devout.</p>
+
+
+<h3>A SAVOURY BOOK.</h3>
+
+<p>An outstanding member of the clan Macdonald, for some time minister at
+Applecross, deserves a cordial vote of thanks for a savoury book he has
+written on the social and religious condition of the Highlands. He is
+not a bit scared by the Darwinian theory of evolution. "We have a good
+deal in common," he says, "with the brute creation, and have no cause to
+feel ourselves degraded on that account. The lower animals, not
+excluding the much-despised monkey, are specimens of divine workmanship
+which <i>reflect the highest honour on the skill and power of the Maker</i>."
+Could any admission be more handsome or candid than that?</p>
+
+<p>I have learned a great deal from Mr. Macdonald's cheery and broad-minded
+volume. He is strong in history, and has had, it would seem, access to
+information that is closed to the general eye. There is a glorious
+simplicity in his views on Caledonian ethnology. A roguish prince,
+Gathelus, son of the king of Greece, migrated to Egypt, and married
+Scota, daughter of that Pharaoh who persecuted the Israelites. The
+various plagues "that o'er the realm of impious Pharaoh hung," terrified
+Gathelus, and he flitted in hot haste to Spain, and called his followers
+Scots, to please his wife. Later in life, he sent his son Hiber to
+Ireland, where the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">{147}</a></span> lad settled, and named the island after his noble
+self, Hibernia. Scots continued to pour into Ireland, <i>viâ</i> the Bay of
+Biscay, and finally, under Simon Brek, subdued the entire extent of the
+Green Island. In 360 <span class="smcap lowercase">A.D.</span>, they came over to Argyllshire, and aided the
+indigenous Picts (who were also Celts) against the legions of Rome. This
+is so compact and clear an account, that I wish it were true. The way in
+which sacred and profane history are blended strikes me as singularly
+able.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Macdonald has an intimate knowledge of Celtic superstitions, and
+always castigates the right thing. Certain diseases of the brain were,
+till quite recently, believed to be curable if the afflicted man could
+procure a suicide's skull and take a drink out of it. Mr. Macdonald
+rightly dwells upon the absurdity of such a specific, but confesses that
+one might as well try to "bale out the Atlantic" as eradicate the
+foolish pagan notions that still linger in the glens.</p>
+
+<p>Ministers have a great deal of captious criticism to stand, if we may
+judge by Mr. Macdonald's anecdotes. They are blamed for terminating
+their discourses <i>with a silver tail</i> (<i>i.e.</i>, intimating a special
+collection). The sermon itself is not immune from cruel jests, as the
+following report of a parishioner's criticism will show: "A minister is
+like a joiner. The joiner takes a piece of wood and shapes it roughly
+with the axe. Then he applies his rough plane, and smooths it down a
+bit. After that, he takes his fine plane; and, lastly, he rubs it with
+sandpaper, and finishes it with polish till he makes it appear like
+glass. And so with the minister: he works his sermon, from sheet to
+sheet, with pen and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">{148}</a></span> ink, till he makes it at last so smooth <i>that a
+flea could not stand on it</i>."<a name="FNanchor_18_18" id="FNanchor_18_18"></a><a href="#Footnote_18_18" class="fnanchor">[18]</a></p>
+
+
+
+<h3>THE SABBATH.</h3>
+
+<p>I was not a little surprised during my attendance at Highland churches
+to hear the ministers devoting much strong rhetoric to the sin of
+Sabbath-breaking. Taking the air on the first day of the week for quiet
+meditation and the good of one's health, has always seemed to me a
+laudable practice, but in many Highland parishes, a Sunday stroll
+implies ungodliness, even although the stroller may have attended one or
+more diets of worship earlier in the day. Such a state of matters is
+preposterously absurd, and, to my thinking, quite irreligious&mdash;it at
+least tends to make hypocrites. Some years ago, I spent a week in a
+typical insular village, lodging in the local inn. It was noticeable
+that on Sundays, the front blinds of the house were never drawn up. When
+the church-bells tolled the hour for public worship, the solemn devotees
+could be seen (through holes in the blind) pacing along, looking fixedly
+at the toes of their boots. The landlord of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">{149}</a></span> house thought it no sin
+to observe the passers-by, so long as he could do so in a clandestine
+way. He had no desire to mend the blind.</p>
+
+<p>The restfulness and peace of a British Sunday is a blessed thing, as
+every Briton who has been long resident abroad, will readily admit.
+There is, however, a reasonable medium to be found between the unnatural
+Calvinistic Sabbath (with its limited view of the world through a torn
+blind) and the Continental Sunday, gay with skipping and junketing.
+Within recent years, to some extent owing to the bicycle and motor-car,
+the Sabbath has become rather too animated and bustling. The change is
+perhaps not entirely regrettable. The terrible Sunday dulness of some of
+our large towns has been, of late years, rendered less oppressive by the
+opening of museums and art galleries. I heard a man of fifty confess
+that in his boyhood he prayed fervently once, and only once, a week: the
+prayer in question was said on Sunday evening, and consisted of a
+heartfelt ejaculation of thanks to Heaven that the holy day was over for
+another week.</p>
+
+<p>Church-going is a splendid and salutary practice, and every man who does
+not base his life on some religious sanction, is leading a mutilated
+life. There is such a thing, however, as ecclesiastical dyspepsia, a
+disease engendered by forced attendance at too many religious services
+when one is young. The disease is unfortunately apt to develop in mature
+years, into complete indifference to doctrine of all kinds.</p>
+
+<p>After all, doctrine is largely useful as a mental exer<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">{150}</a></span>cise, and may
+easily become divorced from practical honesty. Not once but fifty times
+have I been told that the village experts in theology were precisely the
+men who needed most watching in mundane matters. "So-and-so is a
+specialist on the millennium: <i>beware of him</i>." "Old Duncan is the
+strictest Sabbatarian in the island, but on Monday he's worth keeping an
+eye on." "Many a man that keeps the fourth commandment is not so
+particular about the others." Such are the phrases one is perpetually
+hearing, and they go far to prove how inoperative are ritual,
+profession, and form, in the life of some Christians.</p>
+
+<p>To keep the ten commandments, or rather, I should say, the eleven, is no
+easy matter for either Celt or Saxon. It is far easier to be
+ostentatiously religious than scrupulously moral, to say prayers than to
+pay debts, to split hairs of doctrine than to love your enemies. I never
+read a more markedly scriptural book than <i>The Men of Skye</i>, nor one
+that displays such intolerance to the school of Laodiceans. I am not
+insensible to the intense enthusiasm of the author for the memory of the
+illiterate catechists who went round the island preaching to the people
+in a homely and graphic way. The unlovely feature of the book is the
+antagonism displayed towards those who wish to bring about a union of
+the Presbyterian bodies. "Not all the cement outside of heaven," one man
+says, "could bring about a union of the Free and U.P. Churches." The
+Declaratory Act, secular teaching in schools, instrumental music, and
+such like, all come in for severe treatment or ironical reference.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">{151}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h3><i>THE MEN OF SKYE.</i></h3>
+
+<p>The book to which I have referred (<i>The Men of Skye</i>) gives a wonderful
+insight into the religious psychology of the Celtic zealot. It was in
+Portree that I first got a look at the little work, which consists of a
+series of biographies of outstanding lay preachers. I enjoyed the
+perusal of it immensely, and I am afraid the pious author will regard me
+as little better than one of the wicked when I say that I had many a
+hearty laugh at its contents. I am very unwilling to seek gaiety in
+pious books, very averse to laugh at honest, heart-felt beliefs, but the
+author of <i>The Men of Skye</i> was too many for me. His quaint metaphors,
+droll tenses and unlicensed syntax, were a perpetual feast of nectared
+sweets.</p>
+
+<p>The language in which the book is written is not Gaelic, though it has
+not quite reached the stage of English. The following extract is a
+typical one: "John Mackenzie lived at Galtrigil, was a God-fearing man,
+and professed religion, and his conduct was worthy of his profession,
+consistent in all its parts. He was employed as fishcurer to Dr. Martin.
+When he would be busy in the store, on the shore, his wife would go down
+with his food. He had a large heap of salt beside him, but he was so
+scrupulously conscientious that when she took down an egg, she would
+need also to bring from his own house the grain of salt he would put in
+it. He would not take so much as a grain of salt that was not his own.
+He was careful about what belonged to the cause of Christ, and would
+like to know<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">{152}</a></span> that those who took up a profession of religion had
+undergone what he termed a <i>clean conversion</i>."</p>
+
+<p>Some of the stories told of Angus Macleod, are altogether unique: "He
+was one day entrusted with the herding of the minister's cattle, but
+while he prayed, the cattle made their way into the corn. The minister
+came out and began to advise and rebuke him, but Angus said, 'Let the
+righteous smite me, it shall be a kindness; and let him reprove me, it
+shall be an excellent oil which shall not break my head.'" (Psalm cxli.
+5.) I consider that story and the two which follow quite equal, in their
+diverting pointlessness, to any of those told by Cicero in <i>De Oratore</i>,
+Book ii. At one time it was thought advisable to teach Angus how to
+read, but he never could be got to master the alphabet. He would utter
+aloud the following reflections: "<i>A</i> <i>b</i>, <i>ab</i>: Ah! that is but dry.
+There is no food there for my soul. There is no word about Christ or God
+there, no word about forgiveness of sin. I would rather be at the back
+of a dyke where I would get a moment of the presence of the Lord." As
+Angus usually replied to his associates by a text of Scripture, he must
+have had a good ear for Holy Writ. "His father was one day repairing a
+dyke. Angus tried to assist him and broke the spade. His father's temper
+was roused, and he ran after his son to punish him. Angus ran away
+calling out, 'Oh, Lord, avenge me of mine adversary.'" On one occasion,
+when asked why he had refused to pray in public, he replied that it was
+out of his power to do so at the time. "Why," said his interlocutor,
+"Jonah was able to pray even in the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">{153}</a></span> whale's belly." "Yes, yes," said
+Angus, "but I was in a worse state than Jonah: for the whale was in my
+belly."</p>
+
+<p>It may not be unnecessary to state that the word Men in the title of the
+book is to be understood as meaning "men of exceptional piety." The word
+is a technical one in that sense. All the <i>men</i> I have read about were
+fervid Frees, many of them being elders and catechists in that body.
+After the Disruption, there was a wonderful crop of these men produced
+in the Highlands, and through their means, <i>religion became a very real
+and forcible affair</i>. Their attitude to life and general outlook on the
+world are quite unlike anything to be found among the luke-warm
+believers of the Laodicean South. We read of one zealot devoting a whole
+winter to the task of combating shinty and tobacco. It is impossible to
+withhold some measure of admiration from Christians so staunch, logical,
+and uncompromising. <i>Logical?</i> Well, here at least is a gem of
+ratiocination. What, for example, was the cause that forced so many
+Skyemen to emigrate to the Canadian plains and the Australian bush? The
+fathers of Skye believed that the crofters, having insufficiently
+appreciated the unique opportunities of divine worship at home, were
+driven by a wrathful deity over the water to a land where there were
+<i>few or no Presbyterian Churches</i>.</p>
+
+
+<h3>THE AULDEST KIRK.</h3>
+
+<p>There are some parts of Scotland that the Reformation seems never to
+have reached. I have been told that up till this day no Protestant
+minister ever preached<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">{154}</a></span> in Morar (the delightful spot, with lake of same
+name, near Mallaig), and that in consequence Catholics call it "Blessed
+Morar" (<i>Morar Bheanaichte</i>). There is a Catholic strip of country,
+extending right through the heart of Scotland, along the Caledonian
+Canal; aristocrats, chiefs, and crofters there boast that their
+ecclesiastical history goes back, uncontaminated by schisms and private
+judgment, right to the time of Ninian and Columba.</p>
+
+<p>It appears evident that the iconoclastic Parliament of 1560, which made
+it unlawful to obey the Pope or say mass, pretty effectually paralysed
+the Catholic Church in the land. Only in secluded districts, such as
+Uist, Barra, Morar, Arisaig, and Glengarry, were the faithful safe from
+prosecution. The organisation of the Church was maimed and broken, and
+hundreds of priests took to flight. To use the cruel words of Milton&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i10">"Then might ye see<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Cowls, hoods, and habits, with their wearers, tossed<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And fluttered into rags; then relics, beads,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Indulgences, dispenses, pardons, bulls&mdash;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The sport of winds."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>Having visited a fair number of Catholic districts in the West of
+Scotland, I have given myself the pleasure of reading, as far as is
+available, the historical records of the Pope's faithful adherents
+there. <i>These are most interesting as showing the pertinacity of
+religious faith among the most hostile surroundings.</i> The Scots College
+at Rome, founded by Clement VIII., supplied a large number of priests,
+who spread themselves abroad in the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">{155}</a></span> glens, and kept the old faith from
+completely perishing. The Roman Catholic College at Scanlan, on the
+Braes of Glenlivet, was a turf-built erection, dating from 1712. It was
+often compulsorily closed and the students dispersed. The most important
+school for priests in the West was at Buorblach, near Morar. Here the
+aspirants for priesthood studied for a year or two, after which they
+proceeded to some one of the Scots colleges abroad&mdash;such as Paris,
+Ratisbon, Valladolid, or Rome. Those students who received the whole of
+their instruction at home, and got ordained without going abroad, were
+styled <i>heather priests</i>.</p>
+
+<p>The best-known Catholic township of the West Highlands at the present
+time is undoubtedly Arisaig, a charming spot, where the mild air allows
+the wild flowers to spring in profusion and where the fuchsia thrives
+better than anywhere else in Scotland. There is a strikingly elegant
+Catholic Church here, built on a commanding site that dominates the bay.
+In September, 1904, I addressed a meeting in the Astley Hall of Arisaig,
+under the genial chairmanship of the Clerk of the House of Commons. The
+audience was overwhelmingly Catholic, and it was quite evident that all
+were keenly appreciative of the library that had recently been sent to
+the district. It gave me no ordinary pleasure to note that the literary
+society of the place was made up of both Catholics and Protestants, and
+that all the inhabitants, forgetting their religious differences, could
+assemble together as friends on the common meeting-ground of literature.
+Such an amalgamation is bound to mitigate the sectarian<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">{156}</a></span> rancour that
+too often works like a pestilence in small villages and rural
+communities. It is an excellent feature, too, in such places as Arisaig,
+that the local priest gives every encouragement to his people to read
+and study secular books of an elevating character. It would be strange
+indeed if the representative of a Church which in mediæval times gave
+such splendid encouragement to art and letters, should deem it a duty to
+prohibit his people from availing themselves of the means of culture.</p>
+
+<p>It undoubtedly comes as a surprise to a Lowlander, who is prone to think
+that every born Scot is necessarily a born Protestant, to find in remote
+nooks of his native country, home-grown specimens of the faith that was
+once prevalent everywhere. He has to sit down and muse on the hillside
+over the matter, and, if he is imaginative, he will see by fancy's eye
+the skiff of St. Columba breasting the breakers on its way from Ireland
+to Iona.</p>
+
+
+<h3>THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH.</h3>
+
+<p>Of all the Churches or sects in Scotland, probably the most remarkable
+is the Episcopalian. Many Englishmen settle in the Lowlands for purposes
+of trade, and, in most cases, bring their religion with them. Such
+immigration explains the numerous Episcopal chapels in the towns of
+southern Scotland. But no such cause can explain the presence of scores
+of small Episcopal congregations in the rural districts of Aberdeen and
+Banff. These have not been imported from over the Border, but in reality
+have a long history behind them.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">{157}</a></span> Many of them date from the sixteenth
+and seventeenth centuries. The Stuart kings never liked Presbyterianism,
+and James I. tried to make the Scotch Church as like the English one as
+possible: in 1610, indeed, he managed to bring about the consecration of
+a certain number of Scotch bishops. The Episcopalians in the North
+showed a warm affection for the Stuarts during the distresses of that
+royal house, and such Jacobitism did the scattered congregations a deal
+of harm. The number of Episcopal chapels throughout the land is fairly
+high, but the total of the communicants is relatively small. The clergy
+are a most estimable and cultured body of men, and perform their duties,
+which are often very laborious, in an eminently exemplary fashion. Their
+stipends are ridiculously poor, and the scene of their labours is
+frequently the reverse of lively. Very often, in the bleak moors and
+glens of north-east Scotland, I have spent pleasant and memorable
+evenings in the village rectory. The modes of speech and general
+atmosphere of a Scotch rectory differ piquantly from those of the manse.
+It is certain that a clergyman who is in constant touch with the
+Anglican ritual, develops a special turn of talk and a characteristic
+set of mannerisms.</p>
+
+<p>I am convinced that, in learning and culture, the Episcopal clergy
+compare very favourably with those of the other Churches. Some of them
+have written, both in the departments of theology and general
+literature, works of outstanding and permanent value. In spite of all
+that, however, it does not seem probable that they will make many
+converts to their creed. Presbyterianism<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">{158}</a></span> has a firm grip on the
+country: symbol and ritual do not thrive well in the cold air of the
+North. Once upon a time, in the Black Isle, as the records of the
+Arpafeelie Episcopal Church show, there was a strong feeling of
+antagonism to Presbyterianism; but that was in 1711, and was probably
+more political than religious.</p>
+
+<p>It is a well-known fact that a large proportion of the aristocracy and
+landed-gentry of Scotland are Episcopalians. This is due, not so much to
+the leisure they have for studying theological problems, as to the fact
+that most of them have been educated in English public schools.</p>
+
+<p>How pleasant it is to contemplate the broad-mindedness of the greatest
+of our Scotch Episcopalians, Sir Walter Scott, as seen in the
+thirty-seventh chapter of <i>Guy Mannering</i>! Speaking of religious
+differences, he makes Pleydell say: "<i>A plain man may go to heaven
+without thinking about them at all</i>." Even at the present day, there is
+a most regrettable lack of such urbanity in the disputes of educated
+theologians. I picked up a book not long since, which amused as well as
+shocked me greatly. It purported to be a history of <i>the</i> Church in
+Scotland. The author was a facetious Episcopalian, for his history made
+no mention of either the Free, the Established, or the United
+Presbyterian denominations. The Episcopal sect alone had the honour of
+being dubbed a Church. Now, if a writer ever took it on him to write a
+history of the Church in England, he ought to devote space to <i>all</i> the
+bodies, and be careful<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">{159}</a></span> not to omit mention even of the Plymouth
+Brethren. I rather think that the Plymouth Brethren should have the
+lengthiest treatment of all, seeing that no shred of the Church
+resembles so closely the original type of Christianity.</p>
+
+
+<h3>AN INTERLUDE OF METRE.</h3>
+
+<p>I have often endeavoured to fix discourses from the Highland pulpits by
+embodying in metre (I do not say poetry) the leading thought or most
+striking illustration that I carried away. For the sake of variety and
+to prevent this chapter from appearing too frivolous, I, at this point,
+give one or two "moderate" sermons in little.</p>
+
+
+<h4>I.</h4>
+
+<div class='block'><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">When heavy-laden Christian, panting sore,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Had gained the home of the Interpreter,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">He saw a sorry fellow with great stir<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Ply a vile muck-rake on a filthy floor;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And the more mire the churl raked, the more<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">He smiled, although a winged messenger<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Floating aloft was eager to confer<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">On him the crown that in her hands she bore.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">So is it with those fools that waste their days<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">In raking stores of dross and minted gear,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Oblivious of the crown of deathless rays<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">That God is offering freely to them here.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Miser! your stay on earth is short indeed,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Renounce the dross and choose the heavenly meed.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">{160}</a></span></div></div></div>
+
+
+<h4>II.</h4>
+
+<div class='block'><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">He that is wise will not in haste decide,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">But look and think before believing aught;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Then, having long reflected, will confide<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To no breast but his own his finished thought,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Until experience warrants every jot.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Man! Suffer not thy soul to yield to pride<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of intellect. Small is thy mortal lot<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of wisdom. Others seek the truth beside<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Thyself. Behold aloft in air there fly<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Fowls diverse all in nature, strength of wing<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And keenness: even so the men who hie<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">On the soul's quests. In genius differing,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">They all some twinkling sparks of truth may see,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">But the whole flaming round is hid from them and thee.<br /></span>
+</div></div></div>
+
+
+<h4>III.</h4>
+
+<div class='block'><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Thou who in folly thinkest Heaven's King<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Has sent thee into this fair world to gain<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">As many guineas as, with toil and pain,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">In threescore years thine avarice can wring<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">From poorer men, be warned! With tiger-spring<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Fell death will leap upon your life amain<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And rive you from your opulence, though fain<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To tarry. Then the jovial heir will fling<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To the four winds of heaven thy gathered hoard<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">In flaunting joys and unrestricted glee,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">While costly dishes glitter on the board<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And the wine flows in ruddy runnels free.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Thou, meanwhile, in the shady realms below<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A bloodless ghost, wilt wander to and fro.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">{161}</a></span></div></div></div>
+
+
+<h4>IV.</h4>
+
+<h5>I.</h5>
+
+<div class='block'><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Though lilies on their graceful stalk<br /></span>
+<span class="i4">Droop, fade, and die,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Earth's still renewing forces mock<br /></span>
+<span class="i4">Death's cruelty.<br /></span>
+</div></div></div>
+
+<h5>II.</h5>
+
+<div class='block'><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">For roots and seeds within the mould<br /></span>
+<span class="i4">Will thrust again<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Their sheathed beauties manifold<br /></span>
+<span class="i4">Up to the plain.<br /></span>
+</div></div></div>
+
+<h5>III.</h5>
+
+<div class='block'><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Though flowery hopes of dazzling gleam<br /></span>
+<span class="i4">Wither and die,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">New hopes in the soul's garden teem<br /></span>
+<span class="i4">Unceasingly.<br /></span>
+</div></div></div>
+
+<h4>V.</h4>
+
+<div class='block'><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">O Lord of light, disperse my baffling fears,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Give me a look but for a moment's space<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Upon the tranquil glory of Thy face,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To serve as force to fight the chilling years.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Clouds hide Thee from me, and the bitter tears<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Run down my cheek in floods. Out of Thy grace<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Let my heart's chamber be a dwelling-place<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">For Thee. Come for a little space. Mine ears<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Strain for the hearing of a word divine<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Straight from Thy holy lips. No single task<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Can I at all accomplish or design<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Without the full assurance that I ask<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">This, namely, that my soul is one with Thee,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And Thou dost work Thy purposes by me.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">{162}</a></span></div></div></div>
+
+
+<h3>THE CHRISTIAN BRETHREN.</h3>
+
+<p>It would be well-spent labour if some sympathetic historian could find
+time to write a short account of the Plymouth Brethren, giving details
+of the origin, tenets, divisions, and influence of the sect. I am
+surprised that Mr. Barrie in his notable excursions into Scotch life and
+religion, has never portrayed such a fine specimen of the working-man
+turned theologian.</p>
+
+<p>It must not be supposed that only the rich and the leisurely have what
+is called religious experiences and shadowed souls. The finest
+developments, doubtless, of the religious sense require time and money.
+That leisurely groping after tendencies, that introspective analysis of
+the sins of omission and commission, that delightful perception of the
+falling away from righteousness of your brethren and sisters&mdash;all these
+choice sweets are, if they are to be adequately enjoyed, compatible only
+with a minimum of £300 a year. The religious sense and the musical are
+in many points alike. If you wish to develop an initially melodious
+soul, it means expense: you must go to professors, study counterpoint,
+practice many hours daily, and attend concerts of the most exclusive and
+expensive kind. Similarly with religion in its finest flower. You need
+slaves to cook and wash for you if you mean to ecstaticise and see
+beatific visions: you must get the most fashionable and picturesque
+specialists to come and feel your religious pulse, and you must on no
+account neglect the subscription lists. But only those rich enough to be
+hypochondriac can afford such luxuries.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">{163}</a></span> Now, in the toiling classes
+there are often good ears for music, and exquisite responsiveness to
+religious sensations. What satisfies such natures and such wants must be
+cheap. The Plymouth Brethren (I ought rather to say <i>Christian</i>
+Brethren), have no General Assembly, little or no pedantry of a costly
+kind, and yet, I believe, they supply all the exhilaration of schisms,
+splits, counter-splits, and heresy-hunts. Every man his own General
+Assembly! There may be a lack of the finer touches in such a system, but
+what is lacking in elegance is fully made up in clearness of view and
+rombustious vigour.</p>
+
+<p>In many of the fishing villages on the east coast of Scotland, there are
+large congregations of these worthy men raising their Ebenezers, and
+making a joyful noise on the first day of the week. I have a good deal
+of sympathy with their democratic and direct style of worship. In
+Scotland, when a man gets converted, he feels constrained to <i>do
+something</i>, but very often there is little outlet for his energy in the
+calm routine of the fashionable churches&mdash;hence the necessity for
+bethels and mission-houses. At their revivals, let me add, one is in
+presence of that mysterious awakening to which every religion owes its
+birth.</p>
+
+<p>In the autumn of 1906, I had an interesting talk with the minister of a
+seaside village on the shore of the Moray Firth, and was distressed to
+find that he was sorely harassed by the lively sect I have mentioned.
+Every now and again a wandering evangelist comes along the coast,
+pitches a tent, and begins a series of gospel services. Those who are
+converted, neglect the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">{164}</a></span> church and all its ordinances, and begin
+preaching on their own account; nay, they even buttonhole the minister
+and preach to <i>him</i>, accusing him of being an unjust steward, a
+hireling, and no shepherd, and so on. Such conduct creates a very
+painful situation. With a good deal of detail, the long-suffering
+clergyman gave me an account of a visit he had paid to an old woman
+recently converted. The narrative of her conversion as told by herself
+was quaint and touching: "They were a' gettin' it," she said, "and I
+wasna gettin' it. So I jist went to the door and steekit my e'en, and
+raised them to the lift, and <i>I got it</i>. Isn't that the way o't, auld
+man?" "Aye, aye, that's the way o't, auld wife," chimed in the husband.
+The latter then took up the wondrous tale: "When she came in and tell't
+me she had got it, I went doon on my knees to thank the Lord jist at the
+fireside, and lo and behold, when I opened my e'en, I was at the street
+door. The Spirit had taken me there, unbeknown to me. So I lifted up my
+voice and called on God's people. And in five minutes the room and
+kitchen were filled wi' saved folk, a' singing hymns, because my auld
+wife had got it at last."</p>
+
+<p>I also remember meeting an old thatcher of eminent talents who seemed to
+me to be on the straight road for Zion, for he fulfilled the Scriptural
+injunction to be fervent in spirit as well as not slothful in business.
+James had at one time been precentor in one of the regular churches, but
+owing to some cantankerous criticism of his melody, he seceded to the
+Brethren, who fearlessly accepted his services gratis. James was
+specially lyrical on the roof, and it was a treat to hear<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">{165}</a></span> him sing
+"<i>There is rest for the weary</i>," as he pushed the thatch into its long
+home:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"There is rest for the weary,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">There is rest for the weary,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">There is rest for <i>you</i>" (with a forceful thrust).<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>I must not omit to mention (and with reverence be it spoken) that James
+had a reputation far and wide in the country-side, for the vigour and
+extreme unction of his grace before meat. Though giving a humble tenor
+to the initial phrases and using the tar-brush on himself, and the
+hungry company as putrid sinners unworthy even of the least of the
+mercies, he always contrived to reassure everyone by sunnily rounding
+off the matter with some rich and racy allusions to the gracious and
+ample promises of Holy Writ. One could have felt quite comfortable even
+in a slight excess of gluttony after such introductory words of
+blessing. You felt that the occasion had been met, that something like
+perfection had been attained. James was willing to admit shortcomings in
+thatching, or in any department of human activity, so long as his
+superiority in pre-prandial supplication was admitted. But it so
+happened that Fate, whose delight it is to imperil even the stablest
+reputations, sent his way a South-country Brother with a gift in prayer
+truly appalling. At a gathering at which James was present, this
+stranger was honoured by being asked to say grace. In the process, he
+soared to such heights of oratory and supplicatory fervour, that the
+uniform opinion of the guests, as evinced by looks, demeanour, and even
+congratulation,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">{166}</a></span> was that James had at last been beaten on his own
+ground. Supreme dejection settled on the thatcher, and neither bite nor
+sup could dislodge the settled melancholy of his soul. After long
+pondering with chin on chest in a corner of that pious throng, he had an
+idea. Sidling up to the matron of the house, he, with a terrible whisper
+of earnestness, addressed her in these words: "Mistress, before we gang
+hame, doon wi' a whang o' cheese and a farl o' cake&mdash;it'll no' cost ye
+much&mdash;and <i>I'll ha'e a tussle wi' him for't yet</i>." She gladly complied
+with his request. His excitement gave him inspiration, and over that
+cheese and oatcake, he delivered himself of such a grace as had never
+before proceeded from his lips. A murmur of involuntary admiration
+greeted the conclusion. James was comforted, and once more held his head
+erect.</p>
+
+<p>To talk of the Evolution of Religion to men like James would be a
+complete waste of time. Such men regard themselves as the acme of the
+process: whatever modifications may supervene after their day will be
+deteriorations. It is quite impossible to persuade an enthusiast that he
+is a mere phenomenon of development, and not, actually and now, the roof
+and crown of things. Even if persuasion were possible, it would be a
+cruelty to disillusionise these happy wights,&mdash;men who, with such
+sublime confidence, can read their title clear to mansions in the sky.
+They have a complete key to the universe, and are as happy as if they
+had seen the whole vast circle of truth.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">{167}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h3>DRIMNIN IN MORVEN.</h3>
+
+<p>How many of my readers know where Drimnin is? If I should say, "In the
+parish of Morven," it is possible the majority of them would not be
+greatly edified, unless they had acquaintance with the saintly Macleod's
+<i>Reminiscences of a Highland Parish</i>. Well, Drimnin is on the mainland,
+nearly opposite the entrance to the haven of Tobermory. The <i>Chevalier</i>
+nears into the coast when anyone wishes to land, and two boatmen,
+obeying a signal, pull out from shore into the open, and the passenger
+leaps, as gracefully as circumstances permit, into their arms&mdash;amid the
+cheers of those left on the steamer.</p>
+
+<p>The clergyman of Morven ministers to a parish that has over a hundred
+miles of seaboard, and, strange to say, there have been only three
+incumbents in it during the last hundred and thirty years, himself being
+the third, with twenty-six years' ministry to his credit so far. These
+facts procured him an extraordinary reception in America, where he spent
+a holiday recently. The Americans, with whom change is the permanent
+element, looked with amazement on a minister who came from a parish with
+such a record. They thronged round his hotel to get shaking hands with
+him, while he blushed to think that homage was being paid to the
+longevity of his predecessors. It is no treat to be a lion in Maine.</p>
+
+<p>The visitor to Drimnin should return to Oban by driving to Lochaline,
+where there is a pier. A mere glance up that inlet of Lochaline is
+sufficient to prove<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">{168}</a></span> the unerring accuracy of Sir Walter's description:
+"Fair Lochaline's woodland shore." Scott had a marvellous eye for
+scenery, and having once seen a locality, could describe it better than
+a native could do who had lived in the neighbourhood from youth
+upwards.<a name="FNanchor_19_19" id="FNanchor_19_19"></a><a href="#Footnote_19_19" class="fnanchor">[19]</a></p>
+
+
+
+<h3>CRAIGNISH.</h3>
+
+<p>At Craignish (two miles <i>or so</i> from Ardfern, next pier to Luing on the
+way from Crinan to Oban) I was astonished to find what I think is unique
+in Scotland, an old clergyman, born in 1824, still, without any aid
+whatever, performing all the duties of a parish minister in one of the
+wildest parts of Argyllshire. I refer to the Rev. Mr. M'Michael, who was
+chairman at the lecture. The old gentleman, who is remarkably hale in
+body and never melancholy at meal-time (as he slyly puts it), is prone
+to speak by preference of the events of "auld lang syne." He gave me a
+most vivid account of Professor John Wilson (whom, as I do not now live
+in Paisley, I may safely venture to call Paisley's<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">{169}</a></span> <i>greatest</i> son), who
+was one of his teachers, and who, as "Christopher North," wrote so many
+witty and solid articles that undeservedly perished in <i>Blackwood's
+Magazine</i> at the beginning of last reign. I have rarely had such a treat
+as my talk with this hale-hearted octogenarian. His charming daughters
+keep house for him, and employ their leisure time weaving at a loom of
+their own. The sheep that graze on the glebe supply the wool, and the
+intermediate stages between the back of the sheep and the woollen
+overcoat on the back of the needy are all supervised by these dexterous
+daughters of the manse.</p>
+
+<p>The coach to Craignish passes through a bit of Scotland that, in the
+leafy month of June, must be glorious to behold. I passed along in a
+fierce and chilling blizzard of sleet and snow. If a poet could keep
+warm, thought I, this would be the spot for him to get impressive scenes
+for his word-pictures. At one part, the road ziz-zags up a hill for
+three miles, alongside a furious burn, to a height of six hundred feet;
+from which eminence one sees, on the right, great bare crags and steep
+heights, and, on the left, an inlet of the Atlantic foaming wildly
+below. Ye gentlemen of the cloth, whose lot is cast in towns and who sit
+at home in ease, think of the trials of your rural brethren in their
+attempts to drive in winter through drifting snow to a presbytery
+meeting fourteen miles away!<a name="FNanchor_20_20" id="FNanchor_20_20"></a><a href="#Footnote_20_20" class="fnanchor">[20]</a>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">{170}</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<h3>A MODEL MINISTER.</h3>
+
+<p>Not far from the city of Aberdeen is a little village of seafaring folk,
+and the worthy minister, the Rev. Mr. Pollock, is guide, philosopher,
+and friend to the entire community. Up to his manse, which is a mile
+from the uneven and fishy streets, there is a constant <i>va-et-vient</i> of
+parishioners. One old widow wishes him to write to her son at the
+Yarmouth fishing, herself being ignorant of English spelling; this old
+man, painfully hobbling uphill on his stick, and muttering to himself as
+he goes, desires the faithful pastor to come and cheer a bed-ridden wife
+who is failing fast; that young fisher-lass will blush as she tells that
+her young man is on the way home to claim her as his own, with the
+Church's aid. Mr. Pollock is the confidential repository of all their
+secrets: nothing in their lives is hidden from him; he knows all of
+comic and tragic in their lowly careers. Along with his wife, he visits
+every house in the place, and from intimate knowledge can tell you,
+nodding his head to this or that house as he walks along, the worth or
+worthlessness of every native of the village. His time is so fully taken
+up with pure religion and undefiled, that he has no time to waste on the
+Higher Criticism.</p>
+
+<p>A tout for some wandering minstrels recently came over from Aberdeen,
+meaning to leave one of his red-and-yellow bills (announcing a
+performance) in each of the local shops. The minister saw him as he
+distributed the bills, and closely followed up on his trail. Mr. Pollock
+entered each shop and said to the shopkeeper:<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">{171}</a></span> "Please let me see the
+bill you have there in the window." On getting it, he would scan it, and
+request to get keeping it. In no shop was he refused, so that by the
+time he got to the end of the village, he was carrying two dozen large
+concert placards, while the tout, merrily whistling, and all unconscious
+of the nullity of his labours, was on his way back to Aberdeen. "Lead us
+not into temptation," said the minister, as he thrust the garish
+announcements into his study stove. None of Mr. Pollock's flock were at
+the concert that night. Perhaps, if any had gone, little harm would have
+been done. The minister, however, thought they were better at home, or
+at the local prayer-meeting.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Pollock's predecessor was a thin, unemotional man&mdash;a geologist&mdash;who
+spent an important percentage of his time chipping rocks and looking for
+fossils. Owing to this mania, his flock were forgotten, and came to
+forget <i>him</i>. No wonder if the church attendance dwindled! <i>Ab uno disce
+omnes</i>, as Virgil says. One day this ordained geologist had agreed to
+baptize a child in a hamlet some miles away, and set forth to walk to
+the place in good time. Unhappily, by the roadside, there was a quarry,
+into which, by instinct, the minister glided, keen and eager-eyed. He
+stayed therein for four hours, and forgot all about the infant
+(squalling, no doubt, in special robe, and impatient for the
+christening), the waiting relatives, the inevitable decanter, and the
+thick cuts of indigestible bun. The minister, I say, trudged home with
+his treasure-trove of petrified ferns and foot-marked shale&mdash;a greater
+fossil than any under his own cases of glass. His memory<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">{172}</a></span> was stirred by
+his wife's catechising, but it was too late to undo the mischief.</p>
+
+
+<h3>MINISTERIAL TRIALS IN OLDEN TIMES.</h3>
+
+<p>In modern times, ministers are badly paid, considering the expenses of
+their training and long education, but they are better paid than they
+used to be. In 1756, the minister of Ferintosh, a big, active man, with
+the object of adding something to his stipend, leased the meal-mill of
+Alcaig from the laird of Culloden. The combination of miller and
+minister did not please his parishioners. It never occurred to these
+clowns that the occupation of miller is singularly adapted for
+reflection: spiritual and bodily nourishment (thought of together) might
+well form a field of thought fertile in instructive metaphors; "the dark
+round of the dripping wheel," the work of separating husks and flour,
+the topics of dearth and abundance, might all come to have a homiletic
+value to a serious-minded teacher of religion. But a cry of scandal,
+directed not against themselves for underpaying their minister, but
+against that worthy man for being an <i>ordained miller</i>, arose in the
+parish. A member of the congregation was deputed to give a gentle hint
+to the minister that the two occupations were incompatible. The
+interview took place on the high road. "What news this morning, Thomas?"
+said the minister. "Have you not heard of the fearful news?" said
+Thomas. "No, what is it?" "Well, everybody's saying," said Thomas, with
+a whisper of affected horror, "that <i>the minister's wife has taken up<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">{173}</a></span>
+with the big miller of Alcaig</i>." The delicacy of this hint was such that
+the minister resigned his lease.</p>
+
+<p>The trials of ministers long ago were truly great. Witches had to be
+reckoned with, as the aforementioned Ferintosh minister, who was their
+foe, knew to his cost. By their incantations they caused him to be
+afflicted with somnolency. As this sleepy fit usually came on in church
+between the first psalm and the prayer, it can be easily seen how awful
+were the reprisals of these Satanic hags.</p>
+
+
+<h3>AN ARTFUL DODGER.</h3>
+
+<p>The Rev. Mr. Rogers, minister of a parish in Fife, was, like many
+another worthy man, in sore financial straits at one period of his life.
+He was a widower, and probably this fact accounts for his displenished
+exchequer. With supreme audacity he touched the bell of a rich old
+maiden lady, and on entering her boudoir he bluntly admitted his lack of
+funds, and said, "Give me £200 and I'll marry you." She gave him the
+money, and for months after never saw his face. Finally she wrote asking
+an interview. He came, and she tartly said, "Did you not say, Mr.
+Rogers, that if I gave you £200, you would marry me?" "Certainly I did,"
+said the cunning minister, "and <i>I'm ready to marry you whenever you
+produce your man: where is he</i>?" This anecdote shows the difficulty of
+being unambiguous when speaking English, and furnishes an argument for
+the adoption of French as the language of courtship as well as of
+diplomacy.</p>
+
+<p>The same foxy ecclesiastic wished two things, both of which his heritors
+flatly refused: (<i>a</i>) a new manse, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">{174}</a></span> (<i>b</i>) a site with a wide
+prospect. Finding them intractable, he professed humility, and craved
+merely a species of scaffolding to buttress up one of the walls of the
+old manse. The heritors marvelled a little at the strange request, but,
+glad of being saved from the cost of a new building, authorised the
+buying of some sturdy joists to prop up a wall that the minister averred
+was off the plumb. No sooner was the buttressing timber in position than
+Mr. Rogers appeared with a violent complaint in the Sheriff Court,
+declaring that the manse was like to fall about his ears, and that the
+heritors had palpably admitted the danger by erecting a scaffold. The
+Sheriff expressed strong disapproval of the heritors' stinginess, and
+ordered them to get a new manse built for the minister. Now as to the
+site! To spite Mr. Rogers, the heritors determined to deprive him of a
+good view, and directed the St. Andrews builder to erect the new manse
+down in the valley on a broad bank by a burnside. The master-builder
+placed pegs and marks in the ground at the prescribed place and returned
+to St. Andrews, telling his workmen to proceed next day to begin the
+work, and mentioning that they would know the site by marks he had
+placed there. At cockcrow the minister was afoot, busy transferring the
+pegs to the summit of a lovely knoll. The tradesmen came out to the
+country, and looking for the site found it on the hill-top and began
+their work. After they had been a week or more on the walls, out from
+St. Andrews came the master to see how his men were progressing. He came
+near a complete collapse when he saw his men on the hill instead of in
+the valley. He spoke winged<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">{175}</a></span> words to them, but it was too late. In such
+fashion did Mr. Rogers outwit his heritors. I regret that no literary
+relics of this acute divine are to be had. He seems to have been in his
+way a kind of Higher Critic judging from a remark he made on the Ark:
+"How did you manage," he said, as if addressing Noah in person, "how did
+you manage to keep the first plank of your boat from getting rotten
+before the last was nailed on, if you actually took 120 years to put the
+whole thing together?"</p>
+
+
+<h3>SOME ANECDOTES FROM GIGHA.</h3>
+
+<p>The late minister of Gigha, a small island community of 360 souls off
+the coast of Kintyre was a cleric of great humour and full of stories.
+His church was the only one in the island, a fact of which he was proud.
+At a communion service, a minister from the mainland, struck off a
+monumental phrase in one of his prayers. He said "Thou hast shown, O
+Lord, Thy confidence in Thy servant, the devout minister of Gigha, for
+lo! out of the plentitude of Thy great mercy Thou has seen fit <i>to give
+him an island all to himself</i>." I have heard and do in part believe it,
+that the effect of such a supplication in Gaelic is overpoweringly
+strong.</p>
+
+<p>This same minister "of the island," whose digestion I may say, was so
+perfect that he could triumphantly absorb strong tea and poached eggs as
+a regular midnight meal, told me one night over this collation, the
+story of a fisherman in one of the Western Islands, whose prayer before
+going to sea was of a singular character. He invariably addressed the
+Deity as <i>Sibshe</i><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">{176}</a></span> (You) instead of the ordinary <i>Thusa</i> (Thou). On one
+occasion, when the weather was squally and danger was anticipated, he
+prayed thus: "O Lord God, my Beloved, if You would be so good as to take
+the care of Mary and Jessie, my daughters; but that She-Devil, my wife,
+the daughter of Peter Macpherson, I am indifferent about her: she will
+have another husband before I am eaten by the crabs!"</p>
+
+<p>Here follows another well-known story from the same authority. A
+Lowlander, taking a week's sail on one of Macbrayne's cargo-boats
+stepped ashore, on Sunday morning, at a remote insular port, to attend
+church, as was fit and proper. The text was the well-known verse "Can
+the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard his spots?" The minister,
+strange to say, preached a long and painfully vivid sermon on <i>leprosy</i>.
+The tourist waited, after sermon, in order to talk with the minister and
+quietly remonstrate with him. He said: "You gave us an excellent
+discourse to-day, but do you think it followed quite appropriately from
+the text: surely you are aware that a <i>leopard</i> and a <i>leper</i> are two
+different things." The minister, eying the tourist with a look of
+indignant scorn for a second, lifted up his voice and denounced him
+thus: "Out of my sight with you: I know what you are; you are one of
+these pestilent fellows called Higher Critics. Begone!"</p>
+
+<p>In the Long Island, it is an article of fixed belief among the stricter
+Presbyterians that Catholics are outside any scheme of salvation.
+Episcopalians, too, are regarded as being in an extremely dubious
+position. Any stick, however, is good enough to beat the par<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">{177}</a></span>tisans of
+the Pope. "Brethren," said a minister near Stornoway, "I have forgotten
+my sermon to-day: but <i>I'll just say a word or two against the
+Catholics</i>." Such a philippic, he seemed to think, could never be out of
+season.</p>
+
+<p>Denunciation has always been a favourite method of the religious bigot.
+If the various sects of the Christian Church, could go on their way,
+ameliorating the world, and leaving each other in peace, the millennium
+would be within reasonable distance. I heard a U.F. say to a Wee Free:
+"Donald, you'll no' gang to Heaven, <i>because I'm bad</i>." The sentence is
+good enough for an epigram. Unfortunately, too many of our sectaries
+think it the prime virtue of their faith to run down their neighbours.</p>
+
+
+<h3>GROWING POPULARITY OF RUSKIN.</h3>
+
+<p>One of the most cheerful features in the present-day thought of
+Scotland, and one from which we may anticipate excellent results in
+every department of social and religious life, is the growing popularity
+of the great apostle of the nineteenth century, John Ruskin. Though
+dead, he continues to speak; and from close inspection of the registers
+that show in detail the nature of the books asked for, at the various
+village libraries, I have noted, with no small pleasure, that Ruskin's
+works are eagerly read all over the Highlands and islands of Scotland.
+This is something quite new, and will, I am certain, work immense good.</p>
+
+<p>For Ruskin's work in the department of religion, no words can be too
+commendatory. His genius was in thorough accord with the spirit of the
+Biblical writers,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">{178}</a></span> and his modes of speech and illustration perpetually
+reminiscent of Scripture. He loses no opportunity of dwelling on the
+culturing influence of the Bible. There is also a fine tolerance in his
+religious teaching, which is alike helpful and suggestive. His is that
+variety of teaching which we find most effectively outside of the ranks
+of professional commentators, and which comes through the keen flashes
+of genius that accompany the insight of the literary artist. He has
+pointed out to us with great eloquence that, while specific doctrines
+take at various epochs very different degrees of importance, and aspects
+of rite, ceremony, and all that, appeal with changing force to different
+generations, the essence of religious feeling, without which dogma
+becomes harsh and rite insipid, hardly varies at all; seeing that in the
+musings of the great minds of all ages, we have oftenest the pure gold
+of devotion, mingled, though it may sometimes be, with the adhesive
+dross of superstition. He also warns us of the danger of mistaking
+pugnacity for piety, and earnestly urges that, at every moment of our
+lives, we should be trying to find out, not in what we differ from other
+men, but in what we agree. Ruskin considers this to be the correct
+spirit in which to approach ancient as well as modern religion,
+believing that if a reader cannot understand a spiritual agency, or
+thinks that the best of ancient men were not dominated by any such, the
+understanding of the very alphabet of history will be endangered. It
+would tend greatly to salvation from arid formalism, if ministers would
+teach that Plato, Sophocles, Browning, Carlyle, are all apostles of
+religion. A living word from an intuitionist<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">{179}</a></span> like the last-named not
+unfrequently vivifies with new force the dark sayings of a Hebrew seer,
+in much more direct fashion than half-a-score of mutilated Pentateuchs
+made in the delirium of the Higher Criticism.</p>
+
+<p>In spite of his unsystematic procedure, Ruskin deserves to be numbered
+among the men who have earned the gratitude of their fellows, by
+translating some of the ever-vital aspects of religion into the
+vocabulary of the hour. The language of religious discourse is liable to
+a subtle kind of pedantry, requiring a vigorous intellect adequately to
+dissolve. New illustrations, novel forms of definition, are often
+helpful in expelling the dreariness of outworn and meaningless phrases.
+Ruskin's task is facilitated by the nice balance of his intellectual and
+imaginative endowments, by the fact that his words are not mere symbols
+of definite connotation, but marvellous centres of emotional force.
+Happily he did not seek to elaborate any system of religion: but now
+here, now there, in his books, one comes upon the pure gold of religion,
+enshrined in exquisite jewelries of diction, which glimmer on (if I may
+say so) to the utmost verge of emotion, and more successfully than any
+formal harangue, work out their intended function. Such works as <i>Unto
+this Last</i> and <i>Munera Pulveris</i>, however keen the mental antagonism
+they may initially provoke, mark a period in the spiritual life of the
+reader: no matter what the prepossessions of a man may be, these books
+will modify them. He is reverent, but, like Plato, he is dynamic. You
+can't sit at ease as you read his pages, for they are charged as much
+with defiance as with guidance.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">{180}</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IV" id="CHAPTER_IV"></a>CHAPTER IV.<br />
+<br />
+<span style="font-size: 75%;">EDUCATIONAL.</span></h2>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>Some Insular Dominies&mdash;Education Act of 1872&mdash;Education in the
+Highlands&mdash;Feeding the hungry&mdash;Parish Council
+boarders&mdash;Dwindling attendances&mdash;Arnisdale&mdash;Golspie Technical
+School&mdash;On the Sidlaws&mdash;Some surprises&mdash;Arran schools&mdash;Science
+and literature&mdash;Study of Scott&mdash;The old classical dominie&mdash;Vogue
+of Latin in former times&mdash;Teachers and
+examinations&mdash;Howlers&mdash;Competing subjects.</p></div>
+
+
+<h3>SOME INSULAR DOMINIES.</h3>
+
+<p>It is by no means an easy matter for a teacher to get south again once
+he is installed in a remote Highland school. He accepts a distant rural
+or insular post, marries the girl of his heart, gets settled in the
+schoolhouse of the glen or township, and rarely moves thence all the
+succeeding years of his life. He becomes identified with local affairs;
+plays whist maybe with the doctor, the factor, and the banker; and is
+apt to magnify the cackle of his bourg into the great Voice that echoes
+round the world. The monotony of his life is varied by such happenings
+as a birth or a death in his own household, a visit from the emissary of
+My Lords, an epidemic of measles, a general election, and the like. I
+don't say these men are unhappy, but unless they develop a hobby,
+torpidity is bound to settle like a mist upon their brains. Such studies
+as geology, botany, and gardening, are sovereign for<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">{181}</a></span> driving off the
+vapours of ennui. Nor are golf, angling, and the composition of verse,
+specifics that the rural dominie can afford to despise.</p>
+
+<p>I have in my mind at this moment the portraits of many notable gentlemen
+(for true gentlemen they are, though their purses are thin) who have
+given up their lives to educating the progeny of the inclement North.
+Lamont, for example, whom I remember as a first-class mathematician, is
+living in the marshy navel of an Outer Isle, amid wild-fowl and spirals
+of peat-reek. If you want to visit him you have (1) to cross the billowy
+western deep; (2) drive fifteen miles in a trap; (3) traverse a
+four-mile arm of the sea in a ferry that needs baling; (4) proceed seven
+miles to another ferry two miles in breadth; (5) hop, step, and jump
+three miles along a narrow and tortuous track, enough to give vertigo to
+a goat. Lamont is not unhappy: he keeps his mind active by solving stiff
+quadratic equations and fiddling with Cartesian co-ordinates. I hope he
+will get credit for all these studies, when the last trump sounds, for
+he gets little enough at present.</p>
+
+<p>Ramsay, too, is a dweller among these treeless bogs, and is engaged,
+during his leisure, on a translation of Anacreon which will never be
+finished, or, if finished, will never be published. I called on him and
+immolated myself on the altar of his Anacreon in order to give him a
+little pleasure. He, later on, enlarged on his school, scholars, and
+daily life. The horizon of the boys and girls is extremely limited: most
+of them have never seen either a pig or a policeman. Cabbages have only
+been recently introduced into the district, but are<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">{182}</a></span> already thriving
+wonderfully well considering the thin soil. There are of course no
+trees: for what trees could stand against the buffeting of the fierce
+wintry gales of the Atlantic? Ramsay's only chum is a missionary, who is
+of an antiquarian turn, and goes fumbling about for arrow-heads and
+prehistoric bracelets, especially after a storm, when the hill-sides are
+laid bare.</p>
+
+<p>Neither Lamont nor Ramsay know a word of Gaelic, and there they are in
+districts where English is a foreign language. Needless to say, the lack
+of Gaelic is a terrible drawback to these two men. They should never
+have been where they are, for they are aliens. The scholars, unbreeched
+little rogues, have an advantage over their teacher, and in the
+playground talk the tongue of the Celt invariably, and may be maligning
+him for all he knows. I am afraid, too, that teacher and minister do not
+always consider themselves as auxiliaries in these outer isles. The
+younger generation of teachers have, as might be expected, a more
+extensive knowledge of books than the old school of Presbyterian
+ministers. The latter, feeling their literary inferiority, are inclined
+to regard the teacher as an intruder whose work in the school-room will
+cause the rising generation to look slightingly on the "essentials." I
+have in my possession numerous letters from Highland teachers dealing
+with this fear on the part of the clergy, that novels and secular
+literature generally will pervert the minds of the people. The addition
+of Mrs. Humphrey Ward's books to a library was recently likened to the
+arrival of the Serpent in Eden.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">{183}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h3>EDUCATION ACT OF 1872.</h3>
+
+<p>In one of the best-known chapters of <i>Rob Roy</i>, Bailie Nicol Jarvie, the
+utilitarian Glasgow merchant, says to his cattle-reiving kinsman: "Your
+boys, Rob, dinna ken the very multiplication table, which is the root o'
+a useful knowledge, and it's my belief they can neither read, write, nor
+cipher, if sic a thing could be believed o' ane's ain connections in a
+Christian land." Rob replies in a sentence that is worthy of being put
+alongside the remark of old Earl Douglas in the poem of <i>Marmion</i>:
+"Hamish can bring down a blackcock on the wing with a single bullet, and
+Rob can drive a dirk through a twa-inch board." These quotations
+adequately explain the almost complete absence of prose remains in the
+literature of the Gael. Bards there were in plenty, but they could
+neither read nor write.</p>
+
+<p>In the year 1872, education was made the concern of the nation. It was
+rightly considered to be a standing menace to the security of the realm
+that ignorance, which is the parent of disorder and lawlessness, should
+be the doom of a large proportion of the nation. Rather than hazard the
+dangers of an illiterate population, education was undertaken by the
+State, and paid for out of the national purse. The analogy between
+disease and ignorance is, in truth, sufficiently close to justify both
+sanitation and education coming into the wide domain of imperial duties.</p>
+
+<p>Looking back on the changes that resulted in the Lowlands from the
+Education Act of 1872, we see<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">{184}</a></span> grounds for criticism. The measure, like
+all earthly things, was imperfect. There was something hard and
+inelastic about the system fostered by the old Code. The psychology of
+Child Nature was almost totally ignored. A system of examination was
+established that assumed an equal and mechanical progress on the part of
+every child every year. Yet, in spite of grave defects, the Act of 1872
+brought inestimable blessings with it. For one thing, the health
+conditions of education were vastly improved. Many of the old schools
+were absolute hovels. After 1872, large, airy, and spacious buildings,
+were erected in every district of the land. It was no longer a case of
+one old dominie facing singly a whole regiment of unruly youngsters:
+every school was organised and disciplined into regular and seemly
+order. We had the advantage in Scotland of a complete system of School
+Boards, and that awakened an intense and universal interest in
+educational affairs. The old parochial schools of Scotland had many
+admirable features, but in 1872 they were quite unfit to cope with the
+nation's needs. On the whole, the School Board system was a decided boon
+to the land.</p>
+
+
+<h3>EDUCATION IN THE HIGHLANDS.</h3>
+
+<p>It is only since the Act of 1872 that any education of a serious or
+systematic kind has been attempted in the Celtic parts of Scotland.
+Nevertheless, a word of praise is due to the Society for Promoting
+Christian Knowledge and other civilising agencies of the Churches<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">{185}</a></span>
+(Established and Free), for their work during the educational night that
+preceded the Act. These agencies were, of course, utterly inadequate to
+meet the needs of the Highlands, as may be easily seen from the fact
+that in 1862, over 47 per cent. of the men who married, could not sign
+their own names. But, indeed, what resources, save those of the Imperial
+Treasury, could ever be adequate to meet the expense of educating the
+children spread over such wide and sparsely-peopled tracts? Sheriff
+Nicolson, one of the most fervid Gaels that ever lived, made a report to
+Government in 1865, characterising the education given in the Highland
+schools as lamentably insufficient.</p>
+
+<p>The effects of the Act of 1872 were slow but sure, and in the course of
+fifteen years a change, analogous to that effected by General Wade in
+the state of the roads, was brought about in the realm of education. Yet
+the expenses involved in the working of the measure were of an unduly
+burdensome kind, in spite of the generous bounty of the Education
+Department. In some of the large parishes of the Long Island, the heavy
+school rate was such a cause of complaint that My Lords were forced to
+take very drastic measures to relieve the financial strain. In summing
+up the results of the Education Act, Professor Magnus Maclean says:
+"Among the good things that education has brought the Highlanders, are a
+knowledge of English, wider social and political interests, a brighter
+intelligence and brighter outlook, freedom from mental vacuity and
+traditional superstitions."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">{186}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h3>FEEDING THE HUNGRY.</h3>
+
+<p>Probably, as I have hinted, one of the chief benefits of the Education
+Act, was that teaching had to be carried on in conditions of space and
+air. Given such conditions and an enthusiastic master, some good
+progress will certainly be made.</p>
+
+<p>Connected with the physical side of education we have had, of late,
+signs of a new departure. There is a talk of <i>feeding the hungry</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Every parent worthy of the name is proud to provide food and clothing
+for his children. That's what he's there for. But it does not require
+much keenness of vision to see that there are many parents unworthy of
+the name, and that, by the dark and inscrutable degrees of Heaven, such
+worthless individuals are often allowed to be parents of a numerous
+progeny. We must (i) inject into these wastrels the feeling of
+responsibility and (ii) prevent the children from dying of starvation.
+The first problem requires lengthy treatment and is perhaps hopeless of
+accomplishment; the second can be done at once by philanthropy, either
+individual or national.</p>
+
+<p>However much it may wound the pride of our gilded youth, it can hardly
+be asserted that birth and rank are matters that involve the slightest
+personal merit. It seems to be an affair of the purest accident into
+what class of society a child is born. We have overcome the difficulties
+and dangers of youth&mdash;most of us&mdash;but it might well have been otherwise.
+Soften your hearts, ye political economists, and cease to regard the
+poor,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">{187}</a></span> the weak, and the wretched as criminals. If there is no wealth
+but life, our country must soon be poor indeed should the rising
+generation be sickly and underfed. Bairns must not be allowed to study
+on an empty stomach.</p>
+
+
+<h3>PARISH COUNCIL BOARDERS.</h3>
+
+<p>Let me here mention a point alluded to by more than one friend of the
+Highlands. It has reference to one aspect of the new science called
+Eugenics, which deals with the means for producing the maximum of vigour
+in our nation. It is not well enough known that for years the
+authorities have been pouring into a few of the islands and straths of
+the North and West a great number of maimed, consumptive, and mentally
+defective children. Some houses in the Hebrides have three or four of
+these children, who, but for the action of the authorities, would be
+living under the most deplorable conditions of life in the towns. The
+results, as regarding improvement in health and physique, are of the
+most encouraging kind.<a name="FNanchor_21_21" id="FNanchor_21_21"></a><a href="#Footnote_21_21" class="fnanchor">[21]</a></p>
+
+<p>After a certain age the official subsidy ceases, and the children as a
+rule go to work on the farms and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">{188}</a></span> crofts. It is evident that such
+extensive planting out of city boys and girls is bound by and by to work
+a great change in the composition of our rural districts. It is believed
+that some of the islands would soon be without children but for these
+incomers: it is a well-known fact that the indigenous youthful
+population of certain of them is very meagre indeed. We are thus in
+modern times witnessing some most instructive operations of Nature: for
+generations the country has been depleted to swell the bloated
+population of the towns; and now the wastage of the cities is being sent
+back to the country to get a renewal of vigour at the primeval fountain
+of health.</p>
+
+<p>There is one further point of great moment. As a proportion, relatively
+large, of these children come of morally dubious parentage, it is of
+supreme interest to know their subsequent career and conduct. I have
+seen reports and statistics which seem to prove that questionable
+heredity can be overborne by healthy surroundings and good training; in
+other words, that the offspring of criminals may, if rescued early from
+a vicious environment, become respectable citizens. Such facts ought to
+rejoice the hearts of all moral reformers.</p>
+
+
+<h3>DWINDLING ATTENDANCES.</h3>
+
+<p>It is in the country school that the need for new blood is most apparent
+to the eye. In schools capable of holding 120 children, you will often
+find a shrunken roll of less than a dozen. A gentleman of mature years
+usually does all the teaching and keeps himself from getting insane by
+breeding hens and cultivating roses<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">{189}</a></span> in his spare time. He has also, in
+all likelihood, the little pickings of officialdom in the district, and
+is registrar, session-clerk, and precentor. One facetious teacher, who
+dwelt on a wide moor, headed his letter to me <i>Parish Council Chambers</i>,
+thereby suggesting marble staircases and sumptuous furniture. It was
+this same teacher who, on being asked to bring forward Standard V. for
+inspection, had to admit that Standard V. was laid up with a broken leg.
+For such small schools there is an increasing difficulty in finding male
+teachers.<a name="FNanchor_22_22" id="FNanchor_22_22"></a><a href="#Footnote_22_22" class="fnanchor">[22]</a> Widows, who in their ante-nuptial days, had been engaged
+in teaching are often preferred to men, for reasons of salary. The lot
+of such women, who have usually families to support out of their meagre
+earnings, is hard indeed: if they keep their health, they manage
+tolerably well, but when illness comes into the house, there must be a
+deal of suffering and distress. The young pupils who attend the remote
+schools of the uplands, also deserve much sympathy. During the heavy
+snows and extreme cold of winter, these children&mdash;often ill-shod and
+scantily fed&mdash;have to trudge along miles of country cross-roads or
+hill-paths to their little school. Our country is a glory to the eye
+when mid-summer and autumn are there, but think of the harsh winter
+months with their torrents of driving rain, their<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">{190}</a></span> whirlwinds of hail
+and sleet and the icy nip of the blasts that blow down the snow-sheeted
+glens.</p>
+
+
+
+<h3>ARNISDALE, ETC.</h3>
+
+<p>It will be perhaps interesting to the general reader if I strive, by
+drawing on my reminiscences, to give him an idea of how education is
+carried on in certain remote corners of Scotland at the present time. He
+will, perhaps, be led to admire as much as I do the noble work that is
+being done by teachers and inspectors for the rising generation of the
+country.</p>
+
+<p>Arnisdale, on the mainland facing Skye, is a very destitute district,
+and has suffered much from the failure of the once-flourishing
+herring-fishery of Loch Hourn. One can see by the attire of the children
+that the poverty must be exceptional, even for the Highlands. The
+teacher says that in winter she has to think as much how to feed the
+children as to teach them. By the charity of some benevolent visitors,
+she was, last winter, able to give the pupils a mid-day meal of cocoa
+and biscuits. It is a sad contrast to the extraordinary beauty of this
+picturesque spot that such dire misery should overtake a proportion of
+the natives during the winter season.</p>
+
+<p>Arnisdale is not very accessible, even in the height of the summer
+traffic, and when one gets there, it is a problem how to get away. I
+asked the captain of the <i>Glencoe</i> to set me down near what is called
+the <i>dry island</i>, in Loch Hourn, and thence I was rowed ashore by two
+very wild-looking, unkempt boatmen. The school-house, where I lodged, is
+right on the beach, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">{191}</a></span> just at the base of the gigantic Ben Screel.
+Twelve miles along the coast, by a road of the most awe-inspiring kind,
+one comes to the interesting nook of Glenelg, with its Pictish towers
+and ruined barracks.</p>
+
+<p>It was a mild and hazy morning when I traversed the road between
+Arnisdale and Glenelg. On coming to the summit, a great breeze arose and
+drove away the heavy white mists from the Sound of Sleat, and showed the
+white, sentinel-like lighthouse of Isle Ornsay and great fertile
+stretches of the near portion of Skye. Reluctantly the clouds finally
+curled and rolled away before the wind and the glitter of the sun, until
+the Cuchullins were visible beyond the water and the green peninsula of
+Sleat.</p>
+
+<p>In a cosy recess near the highest part of the road, beside a bubbling
+spring, a <i>gipsy family</i> had pitched its tent. I admired the taste shown
+in the selection of a place commanding such a view. The family was still
+under canvas, but hanging on the branch of a tree was a worn and
+mud-stained skirt. Do not ladies in hotels, in similar fashion, hang out
+their dusty and travel-soiled attire at the doors of their chambers? And
+perhaps the dark-skinned owner had hung up her dank and dripping weeds
+in the hope that some silvan faun or Robin Goodfellow would, without a
+tip, perform the dusting process, in this case so palpably necessary. We
+do wrong in supposing that imagination is not the portion of these
+woodland rovers.</p>
+
+<p>One of the most difficult problems of the Education Department is to see
+that gipsy children get a suitable amount of schooling. "Here awa',
+there awa', wan<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">{192}</a></span>dering Willie," is applicable to all their tribe. How
+can progressive instruction be carried on where there is no fixity of
+habitation? One day the camp is pitched on an eminence overlooking Loch
+Hourn; but before twelve hours have passed, the nomads may have crossed
+the ferry at Kyleakin and be warming their hands round a blaze of stolen
+peats in the wild moorland between Portree and Dunvegan. Only in winter,
+when frost and snow drive the gipsies into the city slums, do the
+children get some smattering of the three R's.</p>
+
+
+<h3>GOLSPIE TECHNICAL SCHOOL.</h3>
+
+<p>There are now in the Highlands a number of excellent higher class public
+schools, in which the elements of secondary education are taught. The
+pupils in these schools are drawn from wide areas, and, by means of
+bursaries, can board away from their own homes. The Golspie Technical
+School is an altogether unique higher-grade institution. At a library
+lecture delivered in Golspie, the boys belonging to the school
+(forty-eight in number, divided into four clans, each with a chief) were
+present, accompanied by the Principal and his staff. My attention was at
+once drawn to them by their fine physique, their gentlemanly bearing,
+and their earnest attention. Next day, I had the pleasure of visiting
+the school and seeing the working of the scheme initiated by the Duchess
+of Sutherland.</p>
+
+<p>The institution is really a boarding-school for poor lads of talent
+belonging to the northern counties. They are under the eye of some
+teacher at every hour of the day, and are kept incessantly busy, not at
+books alone.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">{193}</a></span> They are taught to do their own washing, dusting,
+scrubbing, cooking, and darning. The training is excellent: one is
+impressed by its practical character and educational thoroughness. Latin
+and Greek are not attempted at all, the literary instruction being
+entirely based on English and the modern tongues. The science part of
+the curriculum is remarkably complete, and art is by no means neglected.</p>
+
+<p>Before a pupil has the good fortune to be admitted, the Principal visits
+the parents. It is almost incredible (so he told me) the squalor of some
+of the cots he had seen. Too often, in the Highlands, the one bedroom of
+the family (frequently identical with the kitchen) has free
+communication with a malodorous byre or stye. What a contrast with the
+dormitory of the Technical School, where there is no lullaby of lowing
+kine, but a tranquil, high-roofed hall that would do for the siesta of
+the Duke of Sutherland himself!</p>
+
+
+<h3>ON THE SIDLAWS.</h3>
+
+<p>High up on a spur of the Sidlaw Hills in the county of Forfar, there is
+a wee school that supplies education for a wide and sparsely-peopled
+countryside. The teacher is Mr. Brown, who was once a dominie in the
+island of Whalsay. He is a jovial and courteous man, and leads you on
+very astutely to ask him how long he taught there. Such a question gives
+him the opportunity of replying with a laugh: "<i>I was there exactly the
+length of time Napoleon was in St. Helena, five years and seven
+months</i>." When in Whalsay, Mr. Brown took the service on Sunday, if the
+minister happened to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">{194}</a></span> be ill. In this capacity he achieved great
+popularity by the meritorious device of shortening the sermon to fifteen
+minutes. He was so much in love with the first sermon he wrote, that he
+never wrote another, contenting himself with giving it again and again,
+and merely varying the text. If he could only hit upon a suitable title,
+and a suitable publisher for this sermon, Mr. Brown would get it
+printed, and scattered broadcast over the Shetland Islands. I believe it
+would furnish unique food for thought even to sinners on the mainland.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Brown received me with extreme kindness, and invited me inside to
+see his school. I heard his senior class read, and thought the
+pronunciation extremely good. About 12.55 the attention of the pupils
+became visibly impaired; glances were furtively cast towards the door;
+there was a feeling of expectancy all along the benches. Suddenly the
+door sprang open, as if by some violent external impact, and a
+middle-aged dame entered, carrying in each hand a large pail of steaming
+potato-soup. Accompanying her was a young woman with dozens of small
+pewter basins, and large spoons. I never saw such expeditious ladling,
+such quick distribution, such speed of consumption, and such manifest
+enjoyment all round. The steam of the soup obscured the wall-maps, and
+the parsing exercise on the blackboard. The children could get as many
+helpings as nature would permit, <i>for one farthing</i>. When the mist
+cleared away, teacher and taught once more proceeded to tackle simple
+proportion and analysis of sentences. I personally examined the soup,
+and found it to be "nae skinking ware that jaups in luggies."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">{195}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h3>SOME SURPRISES.</h3>
+
+<p>Some surprises are in store for one who calls in casually at some of the
+remoter schools. I have more than once found the teacher <i>giving
+instruction in his shirt sleeves</i>. In one school, I saw the master with
+<i>a large melodeon</i> (the Board being too stingy to supply a piano),
+giving an inharmonious accompaniment to the musical drill. I got a
+dreadful surprise on meeting the schoolmaster of a district in Jura: the
+unfortunate gentleman was <i>stone-deaf</i>, his auditory nerves being
+completely destroyed. Yet he managed, unaided, a school of forty-seven
+pupils, and got excellent reports. The case is unparalleled in my
+experience, and I should not have believed it possible had I not
+personally seen the man at his work. He heard with his eyes, and could
+most nimbly interpret what his pupils said by watching their lips. The
+scholars liked him, and did not attempt to take advantage of his defect.
+In another insular school, I was introduced to a lady-teacher who had
+<i>lost both her arms in youth</i>, and who, in consequence, has been forced
+to bring up her pupils entirely on the principles of moral suasion. By
+holding the pen with her teeth, she can write a fine running <i>hand</i> (if
+I may say so without violence to language). She is an extremely clever
+lady: it was a treat to see how well she could control the children with
+a word or a glance.</p>
+
+<p>Some teachers in the Lowlands complain of children playing truant. That
+vice is not common in the Highlands, but it exists to a slight extent.</p>
+
+<p>In my presence the teacher of a school in Skye made<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">{196}</a></span> the absentees of
+the previous day, write out their reasons for non-attendance. I give
+some of the typical answers:</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>(i.) Dear Sir,&mdash;I had to work all day at the peats.</p>
+
+<p>(ii.) I was kept at home for harrowing with the horses.</p>
+
+<p>(iii.) I was herding the lambs and keeping them from the sheep.</p>
+
+<p>(iv.) <i>I was on the shore all day, but I will not do it again.</i></p></div>
+
+
+<h3>ARRAN SCHOOLS.</h3>
+
+<p>The Arran schools that I had the pleasure of visiting struck me as being
+very well managed. It is wonderful how much excellent work some of these
+country children get through. The schools are almost all supplied with
+Paisley libraries, and thus the pupils, under the guidance of their
+masters, can overtake an extensive course of reading in British authors.
+At Loch Ranza the higher pupils study Shakespeare, Shelley, and
+Wordsworth.<a name="FNanchor_23_23" id="FNanchor_23_23"></a><a href="#Footnote_23_23" class="fnanchor">[23]</a></p>
+
+
+<p>There is no desire whatever on the part of the young people to be taught
+the language of their forefathers. As a consequence, Gaelic is rapidly
+dying out in the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">{197}</a></span> island. Twenty years ago it was the language of the
+playground at Whiting Bay: now the pupils speak English only. At my
+request the teacher there addressed a few Gaelic phrases to the
+assembled children, but only two knew what he was saying. In the
+neighbourhood of Lagg, there is a more general knowledge of the
+venerable tongue.</p>
+
+<p>In spite of the decay of Gaelic, Arran has produced some Celtic scholars
+of great brilliancy, the most eminent being the late Dr. Cameron of
+Brodick. Mr. Kennedy of Caticol has made a great reputation for himself
+in philology: he is in touch with Celtic scholarship on the Continent
+and is also an adept in Irish Gaelic. In his manse, I saw a famous
+Celtic manuscript, the <i>Fernaig MS.</i>, a brown-leaved passbook, full of
+old poems written carefully in a very small neat hand. It is said to be
+worth £2,000, but not having that amount of loose cash about me, I could
+not gratify myself by offering to purchase it.</p>
+
+
+<h3>SCIENCE AND LITERATURE.</h3>
+
+<p>Those rural teachers cannot be too strongly commended who combine
+literary studies with work in the open air. I know some masters who
+encourage their pupils to collect, say, all the flowers mentioned in
+Wordsworth and Burns. That is idealising the study of botany in a most
+delicious way. Wordsworth's descriptions of flowers are nothing less
+than divine: to take a single example out of hundreds, his lines on the
+daffodils beginning&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"I wandered lonely as a cloud."<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">{198}</a></span></div></div>
+
+<p>Even the gayest of our lyrists, Herrick, has something to say about that
+flower that is as powerful as a sermon. Birds, trees, and flowers
+should, as far as possible, be known by all the young people, and some
+poetic word associated with each. It is astonishing how accurately our
+best poets describe the objects of nature, and how their imaginative
+touches show insight and give a pleasure above mere science. Spenser's
+catalogue of the trees is worth knowing by heart. All the vicissitudes
+of the changing months have their apt poetical descriptions if we only
+look for them. Cowper, Thomson, and Wordsworth might be especially
+recommended to pupils for their brilliant word-painting of landscape. I
+cannot think of a finer adjunct to the teaching of open-air science than
+the auxiliary descriptions of such great masters of verse.</p>
+
+<p>As Mendelssohn composed <i>songs</i> without words, so may the schoolmaster
+give <i>lessons</i> of the most powerful import without a word being spoken.
+A beautiful interior in a schoolroom is a silent lesson in order and
+good taste. Beauty and order have a most valuable influence on the
+emotions and the character. It is a pleasure to see the attention that
+is now given to the cultivation of taste. Clean, bright class-rooms;
+pictures of artistic merit on the walls; busts; collections of fossils,
+sea-shells, and the like&mdash;these are to be found even in remote country
+schools. Such spontaneous education of the eye is something that cannot
+be overestimated for importance and fruitfulness.</p>
+
+<p>Lord Avebury puts the case for artistic environment very well indeed.
+"Our great danger in education,"<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">{199}</a></span> he says, "is the worship of
+book-learning&mdash;the confusion of instruction and education. We strain the
+memory instead of cultivating the mind. The children are wearied by the
+mechanical act of writing and the interminable intricacies of spelling;
+they are oppressed by columns of dates, by lists of kings and places,
+which convey no definite idea to their minds, and have no near relation
+to their daily wants and occupations. We ought to follow exactly the
+opposite course, and endeavour to cultivate their taste rather than fill
+their minds with dry facts."</p>
+
+<p>There is one precious faculty that runs the risk of being stifled by too
+much memory work. I mean the faculty of imagination. Youth is the time
+when fancy is busy; it is the period when the brain can furnish
+unlimited scaffolding for castles in the air. Wordsworth was so
+impressed, indeed, by the opulence of the youthful fancy, that he could
+only account for it by supposing recent contact with heaven.</p>
+
+
+<h3>STUDY OF SCOTT.</h3>
+
+<p>I sometimes think that in the training of the youthful intellect and
+imagination we have not made sufficient use of the novels and romances
+of Scott. Of late years a great improvement is noticeable in this
+respect, and Scott is coming to be regarded as (for school purposes) our
+greatest historian. In some schools, as Lord Avebury has hinted, it was
+formerly thought that pupils knew history adequately when they could
+rattle off a list of dates and tell something of the deeds and misdeeds
+of a set of unhappy persons who masqueraded<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">{200}</a></span> as statesmen and courtiers.
+Such unedifying farce has nothing to do with history, which is a
+serious, instructive, and all-embracing study. The social life of the
+great mass of a nation is far more important and interesting than the
+eccentric deeds of a few high-placed rogues or saints. The old
+school-history was, unfortunately, too often a glum compendium of
+insignificant detail, told without breadth of view or fire of
+restorative imagination.</p>
+
+<p>In the history of Scotland, most of what is worth knowing may be most
+enjoyably learned from the pages of Sir Walter. Hardly any epoch of
+Caledonian annals, hardly any county in the land has escaped the
+treatment of his masterly hand. From the Borders to the rain-lashed
+Shetlands (the <i>Pirate</i> deals with gusty Thule), from Perth to Morven,
+the great wizard has made his country known to all lands. In his stories
+the past faithfully reproduces itself, and we are impressed, instructed,
+and amused.</p>
+
+
+<h3>THE OLD CLASSICAL DOMINIE.</h3>
+
+<p>It is a pleasure to think that a few of the old school of Scotch
+dominies, who date from before the 1872 Act, are still to the fore, and
+still engaged in teaching. They have all fixity of tenure, and so enjoy
+the privilege of criticising, as adversely as they like, the degeneracy
+of modern educational developments. These "<i>old parochials</i>," as they
+are called, are men of good scholarship, well versed in Horace and
+Virgil, and generally fond of snuff and Latin quotations.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">{201}</a></span></p>
+
+<p>The Act of 1872 did a great deal for elementary education, but very
+little indeed to encourage that type of higher instruction, which was
+the glory of the old parish school. Ian Maclaren and other writers have
+given pleasant sketches of country schoolmasters who were strong in the
+ancient tongues, and who sent their pupils straight to the benches of
+the University. I believe such men as "Domsey" were quite common in this
+country. Porteous, whom I knew, was one of these. Porteous was a
+philologist second to none in these realms, and was on intimate terms of
+acquaintanceship with the famous Veitch, who gave such a <i>redding up</i> to
+the Greek verbs. It was very amusing to hear the complete way in which
+Porteous could silence some imperial young examining professor on the
+weighty subject of classical derivation. The latter would appeal to some
+such authority as Curtius, whereupon Porteous would unlock the desk in
+which lay the tawse, and taking therefrom a copy of the invoked Curtius,
+open it at the root in question, and display the page all marked with
+pencil corrections and emendations. In support of his views, would come
+such a torrent of erudition from half a score of Classical, Sanscrit,
+Gothic, and Anglo-Saxon rills, that the young professor would feel "like
+one of sense forlorn," and be fain to put palm to forehead in dazed
+amazement. A pupil learning the rudiments under such a teacher, was
+dazzled rather than instructed by the ruthless surgery of words that
+constantly went on. No word was too small for Porteous to operate upon:
+he settled <i>hoti's</i> business, and could so inflate Greek vocables by
+supplying<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">{202}</a></span> digammas and dropped consonants, that Plato would have
+disowned them. Give him chalk, a blackboard, and a class of six, and he
+would in ten minutes fill the board with hieroglyphics, curves,
+arrow-headed diagonals, etc., all meant to illustrate the relationships,
+divergencies, and contrarieties of the Aryan roots. His life was spent
+in the company of these radicals, and he could call them forth out of
+their trickiest hiding-places. In the midst of his chalky toil, he would
+turn round with radiant glee as if to say, "This is a merry and exciting
+trade: it is my fun and is as good as poaching or golf." But woe betide
+the youth who showed levity. Soon would there be weeping and wailing and
+tingling of palms. His reputation for strap-wielding made roots
+respected.</p>
+
+<p>Another teacher of the school of Porteous was Thomas Taylor, whose death
+I saw announced a few weeks ago. Where has all <i>his</i> Greek lore gone to,
+so assiduously cultivated, so continuously added to? If Taylor's soul is
+ever re-incarnated in a mortal body, it is absurd to suppose that he
+must begin to learn the Greek alphabet just like a novice. His clay is
+indeed mixed with the clay of common men, but I love to think of him
+dwelling on the other side of the River in the meads of asphodel,
+discussing with kindred shades, the topics he delighted to handle when
+he was here. With tearful eye I pen these doleful decasyllabics to his
+memory:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">What chums Tom Taylor and Charles Lamb had been<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">O'er bottled porter and the <i>Fairy Queen</i>!<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">{203}</a></span><br /></span>
+<span class="i0">In youth, one day, seeking forbidden fruit<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Tom tumbled from the branches with his loot,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And broken bones compelled the lad to go<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">On straddling crutches, warily and slow,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Counting the pebbles on his path below.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The noisy pleasures of the open air,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The football kicked exuberant here and there.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Cricket, beloved of sinewy juvenals,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And golf with all its hazards, clubs and balls,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Were not in Taylor's province: so he turned<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To calmer pastimes where the ingle burned,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And when the whole world turned to <i>goals</i> and <i>tees</i><br /></span>
+<span class="i0">He took to <i>Iliads</i> and to <i>Odysseys</i>.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">He'd croon like one possessed the magic strain<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of heroes tossed along the unvintaged main,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And, crutch aloft in air, would fondly beat<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Time to the rushing of the poet's feet.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Poetry was all his solace: those bright dames<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">That old Dan Chaucer in his rapture names,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And those in Villon's pages that appear<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">As dazzling-white as snows of yester-year,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Trooped past his eye in long procession fair.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">O, Sovereign Virgin, what a crowd was there!<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Helen, alas! with Paris by her side,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">On the high deck crossing the sunny tide,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Circé, bright-moving in her godlike bloom<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Before the throbbing music of the loom.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The love-lorn heroines of Shakespeare's plays,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The red-cheeked country girls of Burns's lays,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Would to his raptured eye the tear-drop bring,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And set his crazy quill a-sonnetting.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">{204}</a></span></div></div>
+
+
+<h3>VOGUE OF LATIN IN FORMER TIMES.</h3>
+
+<p>The old-world schoolmaster believed Latin was a universal specific. He
+loved the language and knew all the flock of frisky little exceptions of
+gender and conjugation, even as a shepherd knows his sheep. He gave his
+pupils gentle doses of the <i>Delectus</i>, and watched with eager, almost
+menacing, eye, for the working of the charm. It is quite possible that
+no pupil ever went over that <i>Delectus</i>, with its world-weary fragments
+of trite morality, without a feeling of pleasure at the <i>Decline and
+Fall of the Roman Empire</i>. Yet it was educative, and moreover a boy was
+equipped for life with quotations suiting every juncture. Fate was
+powerless against one who had mastered the <i>Delectus</i>. The faculty of
+Latin quotation was to some extent also a badge of respectability.
+Fancy, too, the glory of being the exclusive possessor in a mixed
+company of the knowledge that Castor and Pollux came out of the one egg!
+It was a sore drawback to a boy once upon a time if he were shaky on the
+compounds of <i>fero</i>.</p>
+
+<p>"<i>The pest of the present day is the prevalence of examinations</i>:"
+these, it is alleged, have destroyed the grand old freedom of learning
+which gave full scope for the individuality alike of teacher and pupil.
+Oh! those were days of the gods, when five hours were spent daily
+burrowing in Virgil and Horace! Arcadia was realised&mdash;a sunny clime of
+Nymphs, Fauns, and Graces. The supreme luxury of abundant time&mdash;the
+leisurely chewing of sweet-phrased morsels&mdash;is gone: it is gone, that
+chastity of phrase and perfection of idiom, which felt a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">{205}</a></span> bad quantity
+like a wound. The examination craze has destroyed the classical dominie,
+and the intrusion of science, falsely so-called, has well-nigh
+asphyxiated the Napææ of the dells. It was formerly possible for the
+teacher to develop to the full his literary taste and declaim the
+sonorous tit-bits of Virgil till the tears started from his eyes. Now
+the instructors of youth seem to regard the works of the tuneful Mantuan
+as composed for the purpose of illustrating the use of the Latin
+subjunctive. Youths cannot get at the Aeneid, the spirit and majesty of
+it, I mean, owing to the pestilential numbers of grammatical
+reminiscences recalled by almost every line. When once you begin to set
+examination papers on a subject, the romance seems to evaporate. There
+is something withering about test-questions. This modern disease of
+grammatical annotation, engendered largely by prosaic examiners, who
+have published grammars, is spreading to the English Classics, and we
+may soon expect Burns to furnish a text for exceptional scansion,
+bob-wheel metrics and general philological catechising. Items which
+glide effortless into the brain in desultory reading are not so easily
+remembered if the examination is in store. Certain gentlemen have
+recently been reading Milton with a pair of compasses in order to
+discover the exact point of the cæsural pause in every line: they give
+figures, strike percentages, and set questions which even the leading
+character in "Paradise Lost" couldn't answer. Literary microscopy is
+likely to ruin Shakespeare's reputation in school and would have done so
+long ago but for Lamb's <i>Tales</i>&mdash;a darling compilation and by<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">{206}</a></span> far the
+best introduction to the poet. "<i>Shakespeare is a horrid man</i>" is the
+deliberate verdict of the schoolgirl who has been teased to death by the
+notes within the tawny covers of the Clarendon Press Edition. And fancy
+what Chaucer's Prologue must seem like, taught by a man bent only on
+philological hunts, variant readings, and a complete explanation of all
+the final e's.</p>
+
+
+<h3>TEACHERS AND EXAMINATIONS.</h3>
+
+<p>It has always seemed to me a matter for surprise that those who had for
+years studied the elements of Latin and Greek at school (and that with
+no small difficulty), should entirely neglect these tongues afterwards
+and read nothing composed in them. Most elaborate preparations are made
+to reach the Promised Land, but the weary passenger never gets there.
+Can it be that the preparations are too elaborate?<a name="FNanchor_24_24" id="FNanchor_24_24"></a><a href="#Footnote_24_24" class="fnanchor">[24]</a> They are
+certainly not very interesting, and are, indeed, well fitted<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">{207}</a></span> to disgust
+pupils with the classical tongues. Sir William Ramsay of Aberdeen, in a
+letter to the <i>Herald</i> some time ago, spoke strongly on this subject.</p>
+
+<p>Sir William says, with justice, that a teacher should teach his subject
+without any thought of examination. Every teacher would like to do that
+if he could. As a matter of fact, the secondary schoolmaster is forced
+to become a crammer. He codifies the catch questions of previous
+university preliminaries, excogitates similar weird lists of anomalies
+and exceptions, and doses the pupils on such stuff instead of really
+teaching the important parts of his subject. Experience seems to prove
+that the most effective way of rendering a subject dry, uneducational,
+and generally useless is to set examination papers on it. What can be
+more outrageous and grotesque than the practice of setting
+out-of-the-way questions because of the ease thus afforded to the
+examiners in correcting the answers of the helpless and puzzled
+candidates! Even though the questions set were plain and
+straightforward, it would be absurd to suppose that an hour or two in an
+examination hall could furnish sufficient data to pass or fail a
+candidate.</p>
+
+<p>It used to be the glory of our universities that an average college
+class contained representatives of every grade of society in the land.
+Professor Ramsay says it is not so now: the professors have become
+pedagogic coaches, and the students grind rather than study. Sir William
+assures us that many who would make good students are frightened away by
+the preliminary examination. It would be interesting to know where these
+latter go when they leave school. Do they rush<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">{208}</a></span> off to business at once,
+or do they proceed with their education in some extra-mural way? If they
+can afford the time, the university is certainly the place for them. Let
+the university gates be opened as wide as possible to all serious-minded
+youths, and let it be remembered that it is not necessarily those who
+sweat most over their books or take the highest honours that get most
+good from attendance at the lectures.</p>
+
+<p>It does not appear that, at present, our universities are adequately in
+touch with the nation. The great commercial community of Glasgow does
+not benefit nearly enough from having a famous seat of learning in its
+midst. We might learn a lesson from the Sorbonne how best to nationalise
+our universities. In Paris, the lecture halls are open to all, and it is
+possible for either native or foreigner to listen for hours daily, if he
+be so minded, to some of the finest and most erudite orators and
+scholars of Europe. There are, it is true, special students' courses,
+from which the general public is excluded, but the most important
+lectures are open to all. Hence the Sorbonne is a national institution
+in every sense of the word. I do not say that Glasgow does not benefit a
+little from the corps of professors at Gilmorehill. But the benefit is
+spasmodic, discontinuous, and extremely limited. Some of the professors
+do at times come down into the open and speak words of wisdom. But more
+is wanted than that if the universities are to be saved from
+denationalisation. We hear of Dugald Stewart's class-room being, in the
+old days, crowded<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">{209}</a></span> with the keenest intellects of the Capital. But a
+university was not then a kind of higher-grade secondary school.</p>
+
+
+<h3>HOWLERS.</h3>
+
+<p>Almost every schoolmaster I have met, either in the Highlands or
+Lowlands, has his budget of anecdotes, usually dealing with children's
+answers or the droll eccentricities of the local School Board. The
+answers of children are invariably entertaining; and I wish the
+Educational Institute of Scotland would appoint a committee to codify
+the howlers that come under the notice of its members. A collection of
+genuine howlers would be no unimportant service to the science of
+juvenile psychology. Let it be remembered that the eminent Professor
+Sully considered it in no way derogatory to his philosophical status to
+write on the subject of <i>dolls</i>. In bi-lingual districts children's
+answers would have a special value. Children are everywhere, of course,
+more or less bird-witted and inattentive. Here is a story which
+illustrates what Latin scholars call <i>contaminatio</i>. A teacher had given
+a lesson on the geography of Kent, laying special stress on Canterbury,
+as giving a title to the Anglican primate, and on Greenwich as the place
+through which, on the map, the first meridian is made to pass. At the
+close of the lesson, he wished to test the scholars, and asked one of
+them what Canterbury was famous for. At once came the glib reply:
+"Canterbury is the seat of an <i>archbishop through whom the first
+meridian passes</i>." The difficulty young pupils have in concentrating
+their<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">{210}</a></span> ideas, is largely accountable for many of the diverting essays we
+have all heard and seen. On a recent visit to the romantic shores of
+Skye, I was shown the following essay on Water: "Water is a liquid, but
+in winter you can slide on it. In all kinds of water, little beasts
+occur to a greater or to a less extent. Even a great amount of heat
+cannot kill these curious little animals. <i>Hence some people prefer
+spirits.</i>" From the same quarter I procured this nugget on patriotism.
+"Patriotism is love of country such as we see in Burns or Sir Walter
+Scott. Burns and Sir Walter wrote beautiful lines about their native
+land, and thousands of tourists came and circulated their money there.
+<i>It would be telling us</i> if writers would imitate these great patriots
+in our day." Many of the young scribes on the mainland can also indulge
+in a deal of brilliant irrelevancy. One of them being asked to write an
+essay on "Rivers," began thus: "<i>In ancient times, the chief use of
+rivers was for the baptizing of converts</i>." Another, in the course of a
+short life of King Alfred, made a strong point of that monarch's
+humility, adding, "In order to discover the plans of the Danes, he
+demeaned himself so far as to go to their camp <i>disguised as a poet</i>."
+The annual blue book of the Scotch Education Department used to include
+a recreative series of howlers that had been sent up in the various
+reports of the Government Inspectors. These tit-bits were well
+calculated to keep up the gaiety of nations. Of late years these howlers
+have been excised, but if Scotland had Home Rule they might re-appear.</p>
+
+<p>The finer attenuations of speech are unknown to the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">{211}</a></span> soaring human boy.
+I was shown an essay on Ireland the other day in which the young writer
+compendiously remarked, "<i>The Irish are a bloodthirsty, lazy, and
+resentful race</i>." On Wordsworth, another juvenile critic thus expressed
+himself: "<i>Wordsworth's compositions are utter bosh</i>." The following
+extract is from an "Essay on the '15": "<i>The Rising of '15 was a failure
+because the Old Pretender was an unmitigated ass. Fancy an ass trying to
+take charge of a Rebellion!</i>"</p>
+
+<p>A genial gentleman, Mr. Sneyd-Kynnersley, who retired from the
+Inspectorate some years ago, published in 1908 a book of choice
+reminiscences, containing some good specimens of schoolboy answers. Some
+of his howlers have long been known in the North: but a howler (like
+history) is wont to repeat itself. I saw in a Paisley boy's essay on
+Lambert Simnel the following sentence: "Lambert Simnel was a claimant
+for the English crown, and went about the country boasting that he was
+one of the princes who had been murdered in the Tower." Mr. Kynnersley's
+examinee wrote thus: "Prince Charles Edward claimed to be one of the
+little princes murdered in the Tower. He was found to be a deceiver, and
+was put into the king's kitchen to work."</p>
+
+<p>A boy once told Mr. Kynnersley that <i>a quorum is a question asked at a
+meeting which the chairman is unable to answer</i>. I saw a definition of
+paradox, equally absurd: "<i>A paradox is something which is apparently
+not what it seems to be</i>."</p>
+
+<p>It is a favourite geographical test to require a pupil to describe a
+coast journey between two seaports, and mention capes, rivers, and towns
+seen on the way.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">{212}</a></span> "Describe a trip from Greenock to the Isle of Man,"
+said a teacher to his class; "I give you an hour to write it out." Very
+few were past Lochryan at the hour's end. One daring youth took his
+boat, which he christened "<i>The Comet</i>," right round the Mull of
+Kintyre, with intent to reach Douglas by way of Cape Wrath, the North
+Sea, Dover, Land's End, and St. George's Channel. When time was up, the
+<i>Comet</i>, all torn and tattered by the strumpet wind, was beating round
+the north end of Skye. That boy will, in all probability, turn out a
+deep-sea captain.</p>
+
+<p>"How many days are there in a year?" asked an inspector of a class of
+Highland youngsters. No answer was given. "Tut, tut," said the inspector
+testily, "this is ridiculous. Is there <i>no one</i> who knows how many days
+there are in the year?" "Oh, yes, sir," said a boy reproachfully, "<i>God
+knows</i>."</p>
+
+<p>"What kind of king was William III.?" inquired another examiner. "He had
+an aquiline nose, sir," said a boy. "What does that mean?" said the
+examiner. "<i>It means</i>," answered the boy, "<i>that William III.'s nose was
+turned up at the point like the beak of an eagle!</i>" "What right had
+William to the English throne?" continued the examiner, changing his
+ground. "<i>No right under heaven</i>," was the forceful Jacobite rejoinder.</p>
+
+<p>Here is a tale, from the eastern seaboard of Scotland.</p>
+
+<p><i>Inspector</i>, M.A., Ph.D., LL.D., etc. (examining a class of ten-year
+olds): "Now, boys, what is the shape of the earth?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Boy:</i> "Roon, like an orange."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">{213}</a></span></p>
+
+<p><i>Inspector:</i> "But how do I <i>know</i>, how can I be <i>sure</i> that the earth is
+round like an orange?"</p>
+
+<p><i>Boy:</i> "<i>Because I tell't ye.</i>"</p>
+
+<p>Pupils show great affection for the phrases of their text-books. Not
+long ago, at a written examination, a lad wrote in reply to a historical
+question which was puzzling him: "<i>The answer to this question is known
+only to the Great Searcher of Hearts</i>." What could the boy mean? Was it
+"cheek," ignorance, or piety? It was none of these. <i>It was Collier!</i>
+About thirty years ago, Dr. Collier, a modern Euphuist, composed a
+<i>History of England</i>, which deserves to be reckoned among the glories of
+the reign. Carlyle may be great, but Collier is greater: Collier is a
+theologian, philosopher, and <i>a' that</i>. The style of his history is a
+wondrous blend of <i>Ossian</i> and Hervey's <i>Meditations among the Tombs</i>;
+and its special peculiarity is that the words, owing to some feature,
+never really analysed, linger in the mind long after the sentences of
+the Shorter Catechism have become blurred. Collier is strong in
+tropes&mdash;a highly-dangerous feature. It is no doubt true, as he says,
+that William the Conqueror ruled with a rod of iron, but when a boy,
+after reading this metaphor, asserts that that sovereign ruled his
+subjects <i>with a long iron pole</i>, you begin to question the utility of
+historical study. "Joy-bells pealed and bonfires blazed," is a phrase of
+the Doctor's which sets all the caverns of the mind ringing, even though
+its historical setting is long forgotten. But unction is the chief
+feature of the history: there is a rotund finality about the author's
+spacious utterances, and a dodging of investigation by means of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">{214}</a></span> pious
+generalisations. The book has all the effect of a benediction. When it
+is really too tiresome to inquire into all the authorities on some
+affair of magnitude, it is so respectable to sum up in the phrase
+imitated by the youth alluded to above.</p>
+
+<p>It is in the Secondary Schools of the country that the confusion of
+thought is apt to be most painfully seen. Far too much is attempted, and
+the pupils are overworked. A teacher in the neighbourhood of Glasgow, a
+<i>laudator temporis acti</i>, has a manuscript collection of howlers, drawn
+from elementary, secondary, and university sources, with the following
+fearful lines as a preface:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Ye statesmen all, of high or humble station,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Collective conscience of the British nation,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Whether the frothing vat has made your name<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Or tropes in carpet-bags begot your fame,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Behold the <i>product</i> of the education<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Wherewith is dosed the rising generation.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And see the modern devotee of cram<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">At midnight hour hard-grinding for the exam.,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A moistened towel garlanding his brow,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And coffee simmering on the hob below.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">High on a three-legged stool uncushioned, he<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Sits glowering through his goggles painfully,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Nagging his brain with all a grinder's might<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Till <i>one</i> sounds on the drowsy ear of night.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Like Sibyl's leaves the papers strew his floor<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Wrought-out examples, 'wrinkles' by the score,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Conundrums algebraic, 'tips' on Conics<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And thorny 'props' remembered by mnemonics.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Betweenwhiles as the slow time lagging goes,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">He takes the spectacles from off his nose,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Removes the damper from his aching head,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">{215}</a></span><br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Pours out the coffee, cuts a slice of bread,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Sips wistfully the liquid from his cup:<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The zeal to pass the exam. has eaten <i>him</i> up.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Thrice happy ye! born 'neath the ancient reign<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">When <i>Tityre tu</i> alone possessed the brain<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">(Ere Tyndall's tubes made sweating students numb)<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And the whole aim of life was <i>di, do, dum</i>."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+
+<h3>COMPETING SUBJECTS.</h3>
+
+<p>So numerous indeed are the subjects of the school curriculum in our day
+that howlers and confusion are bound to result. Formerly there was but
+one scheme (containing classics, mathematics, and a little English), and
+everybody took it. Now there is a kind of competition among the
+departments of a school as to which is the most culturing. When a fond
+mother asks the opinion of the masters as to what course of study her
+boy (whom she is entitled to think a genius of the first order) ought to
+pursue, she is often puzzled by the variety of answers. Mr. Test-tube,
+the Science Master, invariably prescribes an extensive course of
+chemistry. If a boy is to be a lawyer, he ought to know the principles
+of atomic combination and the doctrine of gases; if he thinks of the
+ministry, why then, having a thorough acquaintance with science, he will
+be competent to close the mouths of heretics, infidels, and such vermin.
+Dr. Aorist, on the other hand, believes that a sound knowledge of "<i>qui</i>
+with the subjunctive" is a splendid sheet-anchor for every squall in
+life's rude sea. "I wish my boy to be a civil engineer; what advice
+would you give me as to his studies?" "I have no hesitation in
+affirming," the Doctor replies,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">{216}</a></span> "that the boy will build bridges all
+the better if he has his mind expanded and (so to speak) broadened by
+the study of subjects outside his special trade, such, <i>e.g.</i>, as the
+interesting fact that in ancient times 'All Gaul was divided into three
+parts.'"</p>
+
+<p>The average boy has an impartial mind. As a rule, he has no prejudice in
+favour of either science or letters, his maxim being never to do to-day
+what he can put off till to-morrow.</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i6">His favourite books for home<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Are buccaneering combats on the foam,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Or grim detective tales of Scotland Yard,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Where gleams the bull's-eye lamp and drips the poniard.<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>Parents may be reminded that the wide spaces of the colonies remain to
+be peopled and that many a <i>stickit minister</i> might have made a
+first-class empire-builder.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">{217}</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V"></a>CHAPTER V.<br />
+<br />
+<span style="font-size: 75%;">A TRIP TO SHETLAND.</span></h2>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>Aberdeen&mdash;En route&mdash;Lerwick&mdash;Past and present saints&mdash;Some notes
+on the islands&mdash;A Shetland poet&mdash;A visit to Bressay&mdash;From
+Lerwick to Sandwick&mdash;Quarff&mdash;"That holy man,
+Noah"&mdash;Fladibister&mdash;Cunningsburgh&mdash;"Keeping off"&mdash;The indignant
+elder&mdash;Torquil Halcrow&mdash;Philology&mdash;A Sandwick gentleman&mdash;Local
+tales&mdash;Foulah and Fair Isle&mdash;The fishing season.</p></div>
+
+
+<h3>ABERDEEN.</h3>
+
+<p>The most expeditious and comfortable way of getting to Shetland is by
+way of Aberdeen.</p>
+
+<p>I have passed through the city of <i>Bon Accord</i> about six times during
+the last twelvemonth, and like it better the more I see of it. It is one
+of the stateliest towns in Britain, and its main street, spacious, airy,
+and symmetrical, is hard to match. The architectural taste of the new
+University Buildings is perfect, and will be more striking still to the
+casual visitor, when the unsightly buildings all round have been torn
+down. It would be worth while going to Aberdeen if for nothing but to
+see the superb stretch of sandy beach between the mouths of the Don and
+the Dee: one could sit and dream away a whole forenoon there and be
+entirely oblivious to the proximity of a large town.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">{218}</a></span></p>
+
+<p>The finest tribute paid to Aberdeen was written nearly four hundred
+years ago by the great Scotch poet, William Dunbar. Three years before
+Flodden, Queen Margaret passed through the town, and Dunbar, who
+accompanied her, was so delighted with the hospitality, loyalty, and
+lavish expenditure of the magistrates, that he wrote a eulogistic poem
+to commemorate the occasion. Dunbar carried away the impression that
+Aberdeen was a <i>blythe</i> place:</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"<i>Blythe</i> Aberdeen thou beryl of all tounis,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Thou lamp of beauty, bounty and <i>blitheness</i>."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>I do not find that the town has produced many poets, but it has been the
+cause of poetry in others.<a name="FNanchor_25_25" id="FNanchor_25_25"></a><a href="#Footnote_25_25" class="fnanchor">[25]</a> A few years ago Mr. William Watson, out
+of gratitude for the LL.D. bestowed on him by the University, wrote a
+pleasant sonnet in which Aberdeen is represented as</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Beaming benignant o'er the northern main."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>As I sat on the seashore, repeating to myself the lines of Mr. Watson's
+poem, and breathing the fresh air, which an official of the bath-house
+told me was <i>made in Germany</i> (meaning thereby that the wind was blowing
+from the east), the thought struck me that it would be a pardonable
+pastime to employ the spare time I had before the boat started for
+Lerwick, in writing a <i>Sonnet to Mr. William Watson</i>. In such<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">{219}</a></span>
+exercitations it is necessary to employ the second person singular:</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Watson! I would thy pen were fluenter,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And yet, perchance, thou usest stores of ink,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Ampler than any of thy readers think,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">In blotting that wherein the first quick stir<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of thought and genius made the language err.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">If Heaven had lent thy polished Muse a blink<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of saving humour for her crambo-clink,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Then never-dying fame had fallen to her.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Yet Heaven be thanked for what it has bestowed<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">On thee of what is tunefullest and best:<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The trim epistle, the heart-stirring ode,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The witching freshness of a <i>Prince's Quest</i>,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The soft romance that dreams of years gone by,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Bright noons and dewy glades of Arcady.<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<h3>EN ROUTE.</h3>
+
+<p>The little steamer that plies between Aberdeen and Lerwick is timed to
+leave the former port at 11.30 a.m., <i>or as soon afterwards as the tide
+will permit</i>. Often the boat does not leave for some hours after 11.30
+a.m., the tide not being always to blame. What a capacity the boat has
+for empty barrels! I counted six heaped lorry-loads of them that were
+rolled on board, destined, later on, to be filled with herring up north
+among the islands.</p>
+
+<p>It is extremely interesting (see Virgil III., 690) to stand in calm
+weather on the deck of a moving vessel and talk about the notable places
+on the coast with one who knows them well. Much information of a varied<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">{220}</a></span>
+and piquant kind may thus be acquired. The Aberdeenshire coast is rather
+unpicturesque, but many historical legends linger airily on the stern
+old ruins that are passed from time to time. I omit mention of these,
+preferring to tell an anecdote of recent years that is associated with
+the immense rocky sea-caverns, of world-wide fame, not far from Cruden
+Bay. During the Boer War, some Scotch journalists, strong in the science
+of genealogy, undertook to prove that all the generals at the front had
+Scotch blood in their veins. It seems that these patriotic penmen
+succeeded quite easily in making their contention good with respect to
+all the generals <i>save one</i>. No Scotch lineage could be found for
+General Buller. The difficulty was at last surmounted by the felicitous
+conjecture that he was one of the famous <i>Bullers of Buchan</i>!</p>
+
+<p>About eight miles past Cruden Bay is Peterhead, the most easterly town
+in Britain. Great efforts are being made at present to boom this place
+as a health resort. I have heard it said that "printers who die at 30 of
+consumption elsewhere, weigh 21 stone at over threescore in Peterhead,"
+also that "centenarians there have been known to get up at 5.30 a.m., to
+chop wood, no chill or bacillus daring to make them afraid." The Home
+Office has long thought highly of Peterhead as a place of permanent
+retreat for those afflicted with ethical infirmities.</p>
+
+<p>After Peterhead is left behind, the steamer soon gets entirely away from
+land. All night long she battles through the surges, passes about 2 a.m.
+the lonely Fair Isle, encompassed by the rushing roost, and two<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">{221}</a></span> hours
+later Sumburgh Head is visible. The approach to Bressay, especially if
+the rocks and precipices are half seen through driving haze, is
+suggestive, to a student, of the landscape of "Beowulf," with its <i>windy
+walls</i>, <i>shadow-helms</i>, <i>broad nesses</i>, and <i>glimmering sea-cliffs</i>.</p>
+
+<p>As seen from the sea, Lerwick looks trim and picturesque, but when the
+visitor lands, he is apt to lose his bearings among its tortuous lanes.
+I followed a porter who was tottering under the weight of trunks, and
+asked him, as we treaded a flag-paved vennel: "Is it far to the main
+street?" He grimly replied: "This <i>is</i> the main street, sir." The
+response unnerved me, shaky as I was with seventeen hours' tossing on
+the North Sea. Once in the hotel, my spirits rose. A most welcome and
+savoury breakfast&mdash;consumed near an open window commanding a view over a
+sun-lit sound&mdash;is well able to hearten the most downcast.</p>
+
+
+<h3>LERWICK.</h3>
+
+<p>The town of Lerwick is indeed one of the finest of our island capitals,
+and is constantly becoming finer. No visitor can fail to be impressed by
+its unique natural harbour, gloriously screened by the God-given shelter
+of the island of Bressay. Commercial Street, which runs along the
+water's edge, is at the foot of a hill, and is so narrow in parts that
+two vehicles can hardly get past each other. If I stayed in Lerwick, I
+should not like to have any resident enemies, for it would be difficult
+to keep from brushing clothes with them in the main street. Up from this
+main street to the newer<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">{222}</a></span> town, on a plateau at the top, run numerous
+quaint wynds, sinuous, and not always well-scavenged. This new and
+well-built part contains the far-seen and notable Town Hall, the
+architecture of which would have pleased Ruskin, especially as its fine
+windows are all appositely illustrative of Shetlandic annals. By
+climbing the dusty clock-tower, one has a splendid view of all
+surrounding slopes and seas.</p>
+
+<p>Here is a hint to prospective tourists. Take to the left when you quit
+the hall, get down the lane leading to the sea-crags, and walk for two
+miles in the direction of the rifle-range. It is a glorious and solitary
+walk&mdash;not altogether solitary, for the sea is invariably good company.
+Don't be so foolish as to keep on your hat: off with it, and let the
+air-borne sea-spume wet your brow. It is also a good thing to recite
+Byron's vigorous "Address to the Ocean,"&mdash;the odd cows you may pass will
+not stop their grazing for that. There is no finer air in King Edward's
+dominions than that which blows in this region, for the hill air meets
+the sea air that has come all the way from Norway, and the two coalesce
+to give the rapt pedestrian a mouthful of exhilarating ether. One who is
+really a poet and not merely a casual sonneteer, should try to get a
+site for his tent on this particular shore, and retire to compose an
+epoch-making epic. The mediæval saints knew what they were doing when
+they retired to little nooks and isles along this coast to pray and
+meditate undisturbed: it is much easier to feel devout in a fresh
+atmosphere, than in the squalor of a town.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">{223}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h3>PAST AND PRESENT SAINTS.</h3>
+
+<p>What indeed astonishes the visitor to these northern isles is the
+immense number of ecclesiastical ruins. The Christian missionaries seem
+speedily to have translated their enthusiasm into stone and lime. What
+hymns were chanted and what sermons preached up there in bygone times,
+passes the wit of man to reckon! It is a far cry from Palestine to the
+Shetland creeks and voes, but the voice of the lowly Nazarene
+effectually reached the Celts and Norsemen of these treeless
+storm-lashed isles.</p>
+
+<p>Many of the smaller islands have the appellation <i>papa</i>, which
+indicates, as I hinted above, that some monk or hermit, withdrawing from
+the world to pray and meditate, has bequeathed a whiff of sanctity to
+headland and skerry.</p>
+
+<p>"The hermit good lives in the wood," says Coleridge, but for the
+Shetland <i>papa</i> there was no <i>nemorum murmur</i>:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">No sun-illumined leafage met his eye<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Raised from perusal of the Holy Word,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">No murmur of the woodland zephyr-stirred<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Blended with his devotions sped on high,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Only the chiding of the billows nigh.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The clangour of the wheeling ocean-bird,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Or soul-astounding shriek of storm-fiend heard<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">From the dun cloud-battalions hurrying by,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Greeted his ear: yet piously through all<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">His life the austere anchorite remained,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">{224}</a></span><br /></span>
+<span class="i0">On his lone island, buffeted by squall<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And sea, and faithful unto death obtained<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The promised guerdon that the Lord bestows<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Upon the pure in heart, and only those.<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>It has been asserted by those who have means of knowing, that the days
+of theological rigidity are past and gone in the Shetlands. Thing
+unheard of in the Hebrides&mdash;the shops are open on Sunday mornings for
+the sale of Saturday's <i>Scotsman</i> and <i>Herald</i>. In some parts of
+Scotland you could not hire a trap for a Sunday drive; in others, you
+<i>might</i> manage, by salving the driver's conscience with a double fare.
+In Shetland the tariff is the same for the first and the last days of
+the week. To explain the ecclesiastical differences between the islands
+of the North and the West would require a philosopher with all Buckle's
+shrewdness and ingenuity. Buckle accounted for the sombre nature of
+Scotch theology by dwelling on the awe-inspiring reverberations of
+thunder among the Highland peaks. The easy-going creed of the Shetlands
+might perhaps be accounted for by a reference to the happy-go-lucky way
+in which the sea wanders at will among the confusion of peninsulas,
+islets, and skerries. Any theory is better than none at all, and
+geopsychical explanations are fashionable at present.</p>
+
+<p>The pulpit stars twinkle with great lustre in these boreal regions. A
+country minister, with no preparatory groans, but sharp and trippingly
+thus began his homily some Sundays ago: "It is now thirty-five years
+since the Lord sent me to labour in this part of his<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">{225}</a></span> vineyard, if
+vineyard I may call it, where no grape was ever seen. On a bright summer
+morning thirty-five years ago, I turned the corner of the road and came
+among you. Young women, your mothers were in the fields, busy with the
+work of the crofts. Your mothers were exceedingly fair to look upon, and
+I am happy to say, my dear young sisters, that, by the providence of
+God, the beauty of your mothers has lost nothing by being transmitted to
+your comely selves. And now for my text, which you will find in Ezekiel,
+chapter <i>x</i> and verse <i>y</i>."</p>
+
+
+<h3>SOME NOTES ON THE ISLANDS.</h3>
+
+<p>A century ago Shetland was almost an unknown land to the Lowlanders of
+Scotland. When a Shetland minister was deputed to attend the General
+Assembly, it might take him a year to get there and back. His journey
+was a very circuitous one: he had to go in a trading vessel to Hamburg,
+take boat from Hamburg to London, and from London proceed to Leith. To
+return from Edinburgh, the journey was performed the reverse way. Now
+that there is a regular service between Aberdeen and Lerwick, and
+between Leith and several of the Shetland ports, the journey can be
+performed with comfort and expedition. Tourists flock North in the
+summer season to admire the scenery, catch the trout, and inhale the
+health-giving breezes.</p>
+
+<p>The natives, being mainly of Norse descent, look with a kindly eye over
+the water in the direction of Bergen. They do not love Scotland, and
+they have their reasons. When the Shetlands were handed over<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">{226}</a></span> to the
+Scotch kings, numbers of needy adventurers, armed with cheaply-got
+charters, swooped down on the islands and dispossessed the native
+proprietors. This has neither been forgotten nor forgiven. Mr. Russell,
+who lived for three years among them, says:&mdash;"They believe that the
+present lairds are interlopers, and that they themselves have been
+defrauded and despoiled. They speak of these things only among
+themselves, and not openly; but those who have been in the country, and
+have gained their confidence, know that there is a strong undercurrent
+of feeling against Scotland and Scotsmen.... They conceive that they
+have a claim even as things are, to dwell on the land, and that a
+proprietor has no right to remove them from his estate." I was
+dreadfully shocked to notice that in a volume of tales published by a
+Lerwick author only four years ago, the leading villain was from the
+mainland. "Scotland is nothing to us," said a Shetlander to an inspector
+of schools. "What has Scotland ever done for us except send us <i>greedy
+ministers and dear meal</i>?"</p>
+
+<p>In the old days, when communication with the mainland was uncertain and
+fitful, the luxuries of civilised life were quite unknown. In one
+outlying district a box of oranges was washed ashore from a wreck: these
+the natives boiled, under the impression that the orange was a novel
+kind of potato. A cask of treacle, come by in a similar way, was used
+like tar to daub the bottom of a smack. By and by a cow was seen to lick
+the boat with evident relish, and this opened the eyes of the natives to
+the real nature of the substance. Now<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227">{227}</a></span>adays the natives are well in line
+with modern civilisation, one of the most convincing proofs being that
+they buy drugs and patent medicines of every kind. One has only to scan
+the advertisement pages of the Shetland newspapers to note the
+persistent way in which quacks of all shades bring their nostrums before
+the notice of the islanders. Dyspepsia and rheumatism are the commonest
+ailments; and to combat these, myriads of pills and numberless elixirs
+are annually swallowed. Faith does a lot even when the drugs of a
+legitimate practitioner are concerned: the fact that you have swallowed
+something with a bitter taste is often a distinct aid to recovery. Mr.
+Russell, whom I referred to above, says: "To my surprise, I learned that
+some who were in extreme poverty, and had hardly enough food to eat,
+were in the habit of sending South for pills and patent medicines."</p>
+
+
+<h3>A SHETLAND POET.</h3>
+
+<p>Long before I ever thought of visiting Shetland, I was acquainted with
+the dialect spoken there, through having studied a most interesting
+little book of poems called <i>Rasmie's Büdie</i>, published in Paisley. The
+author of this book is Mr. Haldane Burgess, a very prolific and able
+writer, but unfortunately afflicted with blindness. During my short stay
+in Lerwick, I gave myself the pleasure of calling upon him, and I was
+intensely delighted with my reception. When the sense of sight is lost,
+that of touch becomes inordinately keen: Mr. Burgess has accordingly
+excellent control over his type-writer, and can compose as nimbly as in
+the days<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_228" id="Page_228">{228}</a></span> when his eyesight was unimpaired. He spoke of his most recent
+novel, <i>The Treasure of Don Andreas</i>, and expressed himself as highly
+pleased at the criticism passed upon it by a reviewer in the <i>Athenæum</i>.
+Mr. Burgess begins composition every morning at seven, and regulates his
+life with military precision. On all departments of Shetlandic history,
+folk-lore, and dialect, he discourses with great knowledge, fluency, and
+animation. But his interests in the general field of modern literature
+are extremely wide. He speaks the Norse language almost as easily as
+English, has studied Icelandic, and knows a good deal about the writers
+of modern France. Some friend had been reading Arnold's <i>Literature and
+Dogma</i> to him shortly before my visit. He was loud in praise of that
+book, the ironical insolence and pawky humour of which he had greatly
+enjoyed.</p>
+
+<p>On parting from Mr. Burgess, I received from him a copy of his pleasant
+Shetlandic story <i>Tang</i>, a careful and illuminating study of island life
+and manners. The English style struck me as full, robust, and strongly
+tinged with poetical figures, and the character sketches drawn with the
+precision of intimate knowledge. All his prose works display great
+wealth of material, and much psychological insight. His most
+characteristic production, however, is his little book of poems
+mentioned above, <i>Rasmie's Büdie</i>. Rasmie is a Shetland crofter who is
+typical of the race: shrewd, kindly, thoughtful, and gifted with a touch
+of quaint sarcasm. He has perfectly clear views of life, this old
+peasant, and is quite free from cant, or superstition, or mystery. Some
+of his metaphors are droll: after long pondering<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_229" id="Page_229">{229}</a></span> on the scheme of
+creation, he comes to the conclusion that earth is the field, heaven the
+house, and hell the "midden." Pope, speaking of <i>Paradise Lost</i>,
+complains that&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"In quibbles angels and archangels join,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And God the Father turns a school-divine."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>What would the great Augustan have thought of verse in which God the
+Father is likened to a cosmic Crofter?</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Dis Universe is Güd's grit croft,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">It's His by richt, wis never koft<br /></span>
+<span class="i6">Frae gritter laird<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And ne'er sall be, laek laand o Toft<br /></span>
+<span class="i6">Wi' idder shared."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>For those who have the patience to pierce through the husk of Rasmie's
+dialect, much amusement and delight is in store.</p>
+
+
+<h3>A VISIT TO BRESSAY.</h3>
+
+<p>If Charles Lamb and Herbert Spencer had been sent to Lerwick and Bressay
+to write a report on what they saw, I daresay the difference of their
+accounts would have astonished every reader. Lamb would probably have
+swilled porter in the <i>Ultima Thule</i> Refreshment Bar and written a most
+interesting account of Bressay without ever crossing the Sound. The ribs
+of a big uncouth Dutch boat, square, cumbrous, shell-fretted, and tilted
+up on the beach, would probably have bulked more in Lamb's narrative
+than the modern steam-trawlers that abound in these waters. His
+politico-economical reflections on the rise in price of peppermint<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_230" id="Page_230">{230}</a></span>
+lozenges, consequent on the annual arrival of the Dutch fishing crews
+would, I am sure, have furnished excellent reading. Spencer's report
+would have dealt, I fancy, with the rotation of crops, the cause of the
+different currents, the varieties of pigmentation (with percentages)
+among the islanders, and the evolution of fishing gear from its
+rudimentary forms&mdash;in sum with the definite combination of heterogeneous
+changes both simultaneous and successive, in correspondence with
+external coexistences and sequences. No two out of a hundred visitors
+see the same things, a fact which may help to prove Bishop Berkeley's
+theory that the universe is subjective entirely.</p>
+
+<p>I went over to Bressay with a genial and erudite clergyman to visit the
+schoolhouse and inspect the ruins of an eighth century church. Three
+Shetland women rowed us over the Sound and handled the oars splendidly.
+The minister, a plump, jolly be-spectacled gentleman, who has not
+"perpetrated matrimony," declared with a sigh that he was an unprotected
+male, and on our arrival at the Bressay beach, he called aloud to the
+oarswomen to lift him out of the boat. These muscular dames shrieked
+with laughter and proceeded to unship their oars as if to buffet him:
+he, thereupon, leaped lightly enough on the strand and, turning round,
+would have improved the occasion by a word in season had not the
+tittering Nereids begun to splash him as he stood on the shingle.</p>
+
+<p>Innumerable sheep pasture on the Bressay slopes, and on the sky-line of
+some of the hills one can discern companies of rollicking Shetland
+ponies. My friend,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_231" id="Page_231">{231}</a></span> the minister, who is writing a book on Darwin, got
+into conversation with Mr. Manson, the Bressay pony-breeder. The latter
+spoke thus about his tiny steeds: "Pony-breeding is a more puzzling
+business than anything else in God's universe. The parents,
+grandparents, and great grandparents of a given pony have all been
+perfect in every point. Good! You naturally expect that a pony with such
+exceptionable ancestry will itself be without a flaw. But is it? No,
+often it is not. Too frequently you get bitter water from sweet, and
+thistles instead of grapes. Just look at that tricky, mischievous,
+ill-tempered, wall-eyed little rascal. Where did he get his evil
+cantrips and his wall-eye? I have known his ancestors for four
+generations back and they were all without a blemish." The minister made
+a note of this fact within the book and volume of his brain: it may be
+useful in the pulpit, and I expect to see it in print when he publishes
+his book on Darwin.</p>
+
+<p>The eighth century church was at last reached. It is about three miles
+from the landing-place and quite near the water. Every point was most
+lucidly explained by my ecclesiastical guide. To the outer eye the place
+consisted of some low, ruined walls enclosing various species of rank,
+wet grass. Such remains of olden piety are provocative of gloomy
+reverie, which the rushing of the inconstant tide close by only serves
+to deepen. Immediately after the Crucifixion and long before this church
+was reared by saintly hands, the little Christian communities thought
+the kingdom of God would shortly be established and all sin and
+suffering be<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_232" id="Page_232">{232}</a></span> banished from the world. But the apostles died, and so
+successively have</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Priest, doctor, hermit, monk grown white<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">With prayer, the broken-hearted nun,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The martyr, the wan acolyte,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">The incense-swinging child"&mdash;<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>the bishop, the church-builder, and the patriot in all those
+generations, and the kingdom of God is not with us yet, seems, indeed,
+to be as far off as ever. When the world has been at peace for a while
+and the millennium seems imminent, all of a sudden a perverse,
+stiff-necked, <i>wall-eyed</i> generation supervenes, and evolution gives way
+to deterioration!</p>
+
+<p>Lightly bounding down the ages, my companion turned my thoughts from
+unrealised dreams of religion to those of politics. Along these waters
+that cast their spray on the ancient ruin, James Hepburn, Earl of
+Bothwell, third husband of Queen Mary, fled in hot haste, with a
+pursuing squadron at his heels, in the year 1567. Kirkaldy of Grange
+entered the Sound of Bressay as Bothwell was leaving by the northern
+exit.</p>
+
+<p>Our walk lasted about four hours, and ended up in the school-house,
+where the teacher's hospitable dame regaled us to a welcome and
+excellent cup of tea. It did us good after the strain of so many
+reminiscences. The teacher is a hearty and sociable gentleman, who loves
+his books and his fireside. On the fine Saturdays, friends ferry across
+from Lerwick for a round of golf with him over the Bressay links. The
+fine library, recently sent from Paisley, furnishes a pleasant variety
+of reading both for himself and his pupils. On my<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233">{233}</a></span> remarking that, as
+chairman at the lecture next evening, he need not speak more than thirty
+minutes, he replied, with visible emotion, that he would concentrate his
+remarks into a space of thirty seconds.</p>
+
+<p>We got back to Lerwick in a lugsail that was full of passengers,
+potatoes, and milk-cans. There was a good deal of loud, elementary chaff
+during the twenty minutes' crossing. An old, wrinked, peat-smoked dame
+gave us much good advice and (better still) a sprig of white heather
+apiece. I found by subsequent experience that the trip is not always so
+amusing. Next evening a boatman pulled us over, and it was stiff work
+for him, as the Sound was lumpy and the wind contrary. Coming back, he
+hoisted his sail, and we careered over in rollicking style. I was a
+little scared at the swift-rushing currents and the switchback motion of
+the boat. Overhead were moon, stars, and flying clouds; the hulls of big
+steamers loomed like phantoms on the surface of the Sound; on the hill
+opposite twinkled the ever-nearing light of Lerwick.</p>
+
+<p>Bressay, I may add, has a nice little hall, with all items of modern
+convenience, including ventilation. The building is used for every
+legitimate purpose, from worship to <i>weel-timed daffin'</i>.</p>
+
+
+<h3>FROM LERWICK TO SANDWICK.</h3>
+
+<p>I have a vivid recollection of a day's drive from Lerwick to Sandwick,
+down the long, narrow peninsula that terminates in Sumburgh head. I was
+accompanied by the reverend gentleman already alluded to in connection
+with Bressay.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234">{234}</a></span></p>
+
+<p>It is a common saying in the isles that Shakespeare had his eye on the
+soil of Shetland when he pronounced the famous line:</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"'Tis true, 'tis <i>peaty</i>, 'tis <i>peaty</i> 'tis, 'tis true."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>On all sides in the country you see acre after acre of bog, dripping
+with moisture and exuding black runnels whenever the spade of the
+peat-cutter begins to slice its fibrous bulk. Should a wayfarer leave
+the road by mishap after nightfall, he would soon be plunging in the
+treacherous morasses. It is well for him to have a lantern swinging at
+his girdle when the sun has gone down.</p>
+
+<p>Such are the reflections suggested by a view of the country between
+Lerwick and the little clachan of Quarff.</p>
+
+
+<h3>QUARFF.</h3>
+
+<p>Quarff is the headquarters of a minister who is said to be the only
+extempore preacher in Shetland, if the word can be appropriately applied
+to one who, being blind, has to prepare his sermons in "the quick forge
+and working-house of thought" without the succour of books. This
+gentleman spent long years in the little islets called <i>Skerries</i>, and,
+like a miniature Augustine or Columba, claims to have been the first to
+preach the sublime truths of Christianity on these limestone formations.</p>
+
+<p>Though blind, he enjoys his pipe, and I had a smoke with him at the
+fireside. Between the puffs, he indulged in a furious onslaught on the
+Lord Chancellor and the Wee Frees. Lord Halsbury he considered a poor,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235">{235}</a></span>
+benighted creature, who didn't know the difference between a Trades
+Union and a body of Christians. "<i>If he ever comes to Shetland</i>," said
+the minister, "<i>he had better bring his woolsack with him, for I won't
+let him down soft!</i>" After Lord Halsbury had been adequately trounced,
+the talk turned on notable things that had happened in the district
+within the last decade or two. One of the tales (which was very
+divertingly told) had to do with the trite subject of intemperance, but
+as it contains one or two novel touches, I here briefly rehearse it.</p>
+
+<p>An elder of the place, who, with his trap, had come to grief one market
+night on the way back from Lerwick, told his session a strange tale to
+account for the catastrophe. "When I got to Lerwick in the forenoon, I
+said to the driver: 'Young man, if I mistake not, you have had no tip
+from me for a long time.' 'That's very true, sir,' said he. 'Well,' said
+I, 'there's half-a-crown; go and spend it judiciously.' During the day I
+transacted business with various friends, omitting none of the usual
+rites. About five o'clock my driver returned, and harnessed the horse
+for the return journey. At first I thought he had brought his brother
+with him, but, on rubbing my eyes, I found it was an optical delusion.
+As I watched him narrowly, I saw the outlines of a bottle bulging out
+from his buttoned coat, and distinctly heard, as he moved to and fro,
+the gurgling sound of liquid in agitation. He was smiling in
+self-approval, and when I reproved him for his slowness, he quoted
+Habakkuk v. 5, 'Hurry no man's cattle,' adding that his authority was
+the Revised Version. As<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_236" id="Page_236">{236}</a></span> we went rattling along the road, his tricks
+were fantastic in the extreme. At a point about two miles from Lerwick,
+I saw, a little in front of us, a tall individual enveloped in a long
+waterproof, of which the collar was turned up to cover his ears. The
+eyes of this person glowed like live coal as he peremptorily demanded a
+lift. Not waiting for permission, he, with a sudden spring, vaulted on
+the trap and squeezed himself between the driver and myself. The air
+grew hot and close. The driver became ten times friskier than before. I
+determined to unmask the unceremonious stranger, and, putting down my
+hand, grasped him by the foot. He had no boots on, and what I seized was
+a cloven hoof. I asked him there and then if he was Beelzebub. 'I am,'
+said he, 'and clever and all as you are, it will take all your talents
+to slip out of my clutches this night.' At this point there is a blank
+in my souvenirs. I only remember sparks flying and the sensation of
+falling down from my seat on to a steep embankment. On recovering
+consciousness, I found myself lying on a crofter's bed, with aching
+limbs. I told him the story of my escape, and he said, after hearing it:
+'We live in troublous times, John, and the Arch-deceiver seems to be off
+the chain. Watch and pray, or you may fall further next time.'"</p>
+
+
+<h3>"THAT HOLY MAN, NOAH."</h3>
+
+<p>Particular stories are suggested by the place where one first heard
+them. This profound remark is worked out in detail by Sir William
+Hamilton and Professor Sully. As I look at the map of the road I
+traversed<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_237" id="Page_237">{237}</a></span> that day, I am reminded of certain anecdotes retailed by my
+genial and reverend guide.</p>
+
+<p>"After leaving college," said he, "I was appointed assistant to a worthy
+D.D. who regarded the higher critics as a species of vermin. Hell with
+him was not a mere unpleasant state passed in <i>this</i> world, but an
+actual raging bonfire specially prepared for everyone who could not
+repeat the Shorter Catechism. The parishioners of this worthy man were,
+in consequence, devoutly orthodox, and had, one and all, a keen nose for
+bad doctrine. They did not like to be fobbed off with a sermon of the
+spineless order; they liked bones, blood, and fire&mdash;not a mosaic of
+cheery quotations from Tennyson about the larger hope and about worms
+not being cloven in vain. They had also a great liking for the
+patriarchs, especially Noah. By ill luck, I spoke one Sunday on the
+patriarchs, and handled them pretty roughly. I felt that sacred
+enthusiasm which every man feels in denouncing the sins of others. I
+gave the Captain of the Ark a special lick of tar. This sermon caused a
+mighty commotion in the district. I might as well have asserted that the
+paraphrases were inspired, or that Sankey's hymns were canonical. I
+could see that the elders began to look coldly upon me. In barn and byre
+little groups discussed my preaching, and there was much wagging of the
+head and shooting out of the lip. A deputation came out of a
+potato-field to me one day as I was walking along the road, and the
+leader, an old theological crofter, said bluntly: 'Your sermons are not
+pleasing us, if you please, sir.' 'Is the doctrine bad?' I asked.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_238" id="Page_238">{238}</a></span> 'Not
+exactly that, but the folk say it's very unseemly.' 'What special sermon
+do they object to?' 'They think you're not sound on that holy man,
+Noah.' 'Do they go the length of saying Noah was perfect?' 'They don't
+just go that length; but, while admitting Noah was human, they desire'
+(here the old man raised his head, shut his eyes, and shouted) 'to hear
+no more from a young inexperienced lad like you, a single word about the
+patriarch's shortcomings. The man was a patriarch, and therefore a
+saint. Talk about his virtues as much as you like, but don't fash about
+his trespasses, there's a good boy, I speak as your friend.'"</p>
+
+
+<h3>FLADIBISTER.</h3>
+
+<p>When my friend had delivered himself of this story, he pointed with his
+pipe to a little confused collection of low, thatched cottages which we
+were rapidly approaching on the left, and, oblivious of Noah, went thus
+musing on: "You are now in the charmed domain of Fladibisteria, of which
+the core or citadel, as it were, is this village of Fladibister. This is
+no settlement of Norsemen: no, this is a Celtic nook where second sight
+and such witchcraft flourished not so many years ago. Did not the
+minister once rebuke them for their spells and mystic whims by aptly
+applying to them the words of St. Paul to the Galatians: '<i>Oh, foolish
+Fladibisterians, who hath bewitched you?</i>' There is an atmosphere of
+tranquillity and Arcadian peace swimming over Fladibister such as is
+nowhere else to be found in Shetland. The young men of the place roam
+far over the sea, as mariners and fishers; but like the exiled
+Jacobite<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_239" id="Page_239">{239}</a></span>&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">'Who sighed at Arno for his lovelier Tees,'<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>they never feel happy till they are back home here under the roofs of
+thatch. And what a work their women folks make with them when they
+return! What feasting and merrymaking! What screwing of fiddle-pegs,
+nimble motion of elbows and long-sustained dancing and skipping. I don't
+deny that there is clink of glasses, too, at times, to aid the passage
+of the hours far past the noon of night."</p>
+
+
+<h3>CUNNINGSBURGH.</h3>
+
+<p>Cunningsburgh, the journey to which was shortened by these tales, is one
+of those places you might pass through without being aware of it; that
+is to say, there is no feature about it so startling or abrupt as to
+impress itself at once on the attention. The district all round is well
+tilled, and the houses bien and comfortable.</p>
+
+<p>The minister of the place arrests the attention instantly. His genial
+face and hearty handshake have a more Christianising effect on the soul
+than a ton of sermons. I have never heard a more kindly voice or seen a
+face in which tenderness, merriment, and intellectual keenness, were all
+so harmoniously blended. He does not smoke himself, but has that wise
+and wide perception of things which leads him to press those who are
+anxious to smoke, but say they are not, to take out their pipes in his
+drawing-room. It was easy to see the man he was, by a hasty look at his
+book-shelves. All the philosophers were represented there, from Plato<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_240" id="Page_240">{240}</a></span>
+to the present-day mystical Germans. Lang's <i>Odyssey</i> was side by side
+with the Icelandic sagas and the Song of the Niebelungs. I did not see
+many books of Systematic Theology; but the Greek tragedians, the Sacred
+Books of the East, German and French novels, had all a place in the
+bookcase of this cosmopolitan clergyman of a remote Shetlandic parish.</p>
+
+
+<h3>"KEEPING OFF."</h3>
+
+<p>In secluded townships like Cunningsburgh where life's round has much of
+the monotony of fashionable society, and involves a still recurring
+succession of similar duties, the minister is indeed a power. If he is a
+man of broad and enlightened mind, his influence for good is
+incalculable. The Kirk-Session is a permanent Court of Justice, taking
+cognisance of minor matters of morality, and enforcing its decisions by
+religious sanctions. To be barred from participating in the communion
+rites might not seem a very alarming punishment to the easy-going
+Lowlander; but to a Shetland peasant, being <i>keepit off</i>, as it is
+technically called, is a terrible and humiliating penalty. A crofter
+came to the manse to complain about his wife's unruly and satirical
+tongue. "But what can I do to her?" said the minister, "she's your wife,
+and you must assert your authority." "I've tried everything," said the
+man, "but she still continues to be a troubler in Israel." The minister
+professed his inability to interfere. "I can do nothing at all," he
+said. "Yes you can," said the crofter, with a wink and a fearful
+whisper, "<i>You can keep her off!</i>"<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241">{241}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h3>THE INDIGNANT ELDER.</h3>
+
+<p>Since the Reformation the people have lived and thriven under the
+jurisdiction of the Session. In the records of the Session one finds a
+chronicle of the sins, eccentricities, and merriments of the people for
+the last two or three centuries. Several incidents based on these
+minutes will make what I say abundantly clear. The Quarrel of the Elder
+and the Minister's Housekeeper, for example, convulsed a still remoter
+parish in much the same overmastering way as the Dreyfus Trial agitated
+Paris. Herodotus is the only author I can think of who could have done
+justice to this northern <i>affaire</i>. Let me briefly summarise it. Between
+the minister's garden and that of one of his elders ran what was termed
+a hedge. The shrubs which formed the base of this hedge were so
+ill-grown that the minister's fowls could easily go, clucking and
+scraping, from one garden into the other. Evidence was given to prove
+that the cabbages and pot-herbs in the elder's plot were torn and
+spoiled in parts. Every morning he stood at a gap in the hedge and sang
+aloud like a skipper in a storm or Achilles at the trench of the Greeks:
+"I am being ruined and brought to poverty by the minister's hens." This
+cry grated upon the ears of the manse housekeeper, who by and by thought
+it her duty to go out and reason with the elder. "It's no' the
+minister's hens ava that's to blame, it's the craws o' the firmament."
+"It's the hens." "No, the craws." "Hens I declare!" "You're a <i>deceitful
+impostor</i>!" said the housekeeper. Now, no self-respecting elder could
+stand<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_242" id="Page_242">{242}</a></span> that. Boiling with wrath as he was, he remembered his
+ecclesiastical status, merely remarking that there was work for the
+Session at last. By nightfall he had been in every croft within the
+Session's jurisdiction, laying off his tale in each, and as he got
+practice and more vehemence with constant repetition, he attained
+extreme fluency and impressiveness before the day was done. An
+unspeakable joy came over the community at the prospect of a delicious
+scandal. To avoid the breach being healed by an apology, many of the
+crofters sought to envenom the quarrel by refusing to believe that the
+elder was altogether right. "Crows," they said, "had been known to play
+havoc with cabbage. Elders were but human, and so, hasty in laying
+charges on insufficient evidence. The case was certainly one for the
+Church courts. The housekeeper must have a good defence to make, and
+would no doubt make it at the proper time and in the proper place. We
+must hear both sides." One may see by this that the spirit which
+animates a great nation (the desire, namely, to divert itself with the
+contentions of those who come before the public eye), animates also the
+smallest communities in the realm. The great passion-stirring process,
+<i>Hens versus Crows</i>, lasted for some seven months. Over and over again
+the hedge was examined. Now the elder thought he had the best of it,
+only to be damped by a revulsion of feeling in favour of the
+housekeeper. The finding of the Session was adverse to the lady. The
+fact that she had practically called the elder a son of Belial could not
+be got over. The minister, holding the scales of justice, was forced, in
+spite of himself, to declare<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_243" id="Page_243">{243}</a></span> against her. Considering her position,
+some mildness was shown in pronouncing her condemnation and the penalty.
+Having regard to the dignity of the offended man, nothing less than the
+sentence of <i>keeping off</i> could meet the ends of ecclesiastical law. But
+one "keeping off" was deemed adequate. The elder was avenged. At the
+ensuing communion, he was seen to smile and rub his hands diabolically,
+as he glanced towards the back of the church, where sat, outside the
+pale of the privileged elect, the unhappy and vanquished housekeeper,
+who had called him an impostor.</p>
+
+
+<h3>TORQUIL HALCROW.</h3>
+
+<p>Torquil Halcrow's case presents features of a different order. For some
+reason a <i>fama</i> spread abroad respecting him to the effect that his
+language and demeanour left much to be desired, and that not even the
+presence, or at least proximity, of women operated to mellow the
+strength of his vocabulary. Nothing definite was openly formulated
+against him, but Torquil became aware that in certain quarters his
+reputation was being slowly undermined. It is precisely this vague kind
+of aggression on a man's character that is the most difficult to combat.
+He took the bull by the horns in a most heroic way. <i>He got up a public
+testimonial to himself, and went round canvassing for signatures.</i> The
+testimonial ran thus:&mdash;"We, the undersigned women of the parish, have
+pleasure in bearing witness that we have known Torquil Halcrow for
+twenty years, and never have we known him do an unseemly act or utter an
+unworthy expression." Thereafter followed a list of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244">{244}</a></span> forty names.
+Furnished with this document, he strode up to the manse, fluttered it in
+the minister's face with a gesture of triumph, laid it down on the study
+table, then turned on his heel and walked away. The minister, when he
+examined the paper minutely, found that Torquil, in the belief that the
+heading of the testimonial was not sufficiently strong, had added this
+further clause in his own handwriting: "<i>but many a precious word of
+truth and gracious spiritual comfort have we heard proceeding from his
+lips</i>."</p>
+
+<p>I have already referred to the beautiful and pathetic saying of Mr.
+Barrie that every window-blind is the curtain of a tragedy. I thought of
+that dictum as the minister of Cunningsburgh pointed to one cot after
+another in the neighbourhood, and narrated the calamities that had
+fallen upon them within recent years. Here, an old widow was mourning
+the loss of a son who had gone to the deep-sea fishing and would never
+return: his bright young life had been swallowed up in the insatiable
+ocean, and she was left lamenting in her indigence. There, it was a
+father who had been engulfed in the roost; or again, the illness of a
+mother had cast a blight for years upon this other household. Sometimes
+I have seen two old people, all their sons dead, living a kind of
+stupefied half-life, automatically moving about, poor and wretchedly
+clad, unable to understand anything except the welcome heat of the sun
+and the animal comfort of a little food. There are many sad things in
+this world: none is more sad than the sight of two old people outliving
+their progeny and wandering about in decrepit second childhood with no<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_245" id="Page_245">{245}</a></span>
+more substance than a dream. The sea is mainly answerable for the great
+and deep tragedies of the Shetlands: it is like a pitiless monster,
+howling in anger at their doors and claiming its yearly prey. No native
+writer has as yet attempted to make vocal for us the immense dumb
+sorrows of these fisher folks in the way Loti has done for the seafarers
+of Brittany.</p>
+
+
+<h3>PHILOLOGY.</h3>
+
+<p>Jakobsen, the Danish philologist, spent some years recently in
+collecting the remains of the old Norwegian speech that still linger in
+the conversation and the place-names of the islanders. Perhaps the most
+interesting point brought out by Jakobsen is the prevalence in
+comparatively recent times of lucky words, which the fishermen used when
+at the deep-sea fishing, and only then. This practice is undoubtedly a
+relic of pagan ages when the sea-depths were regarded as the dominion of
+dread water spirits, who keenly watched those who intruded in their
+realms. The strange feature about this deep-sea speech is that its
+expressions were purely Norse, whereas the home idiom of the fishers was
+overwhelmingly English. The pagan beliefs respecting the hostile powers
+of the sea found expression in old words handed down from a
+pre-Christian epoch. These old words may have been originally liturgical
+or worship words, for the sea was an object of veneration and awe to the
+Norsemen who, in the conquering days, made their home on its angry
+waters. It was believed that the jealous powers of the ocean were
+vehemently hostile to Christianity, and hence the Shetland fishers, up
+till<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_246" id="Page_246">{246}</a></span> quite recently, carefully avoided any direct mention of <i>church</i>
+or <i>minister</i> when on the water: the <i>haaf</i> or lucky words being
+respectively <i>benihoose</i> (prayer-house) and <i>upstander</i>. Even the
+domestic animals had special <i>haaf</i> appellations. This conception of the
+sea as filled with weird mysterious beings of unspeakable malignity,
+ever ready to whelm the boat of an unwary intruder, carries the mind
+back to the old alliterative lay of <i>Beowulf</i>, the contest of that hero
+with the wallowing ocean-monsters, and the grim subterranean glow in the
+sea-home of Grendel's mother. The Shetlanders have only too much reason
+to brood over the cruelty of the sea. On July 20, 1881, during a
+terrific squall, sixty-three breadwinners were engulfed in the thwarting
+currents of the Sound of Yell.</p>
+
+
+<h3>A SANDWICK GENTLEMAN.</h3>
+
+<p>During all the foregoing discussion in the Cunningsburgh manse and
+garden, our driver had been wondering what subjects of talk could
+possibly be keeping us from continuing our journey to Sandwick. The two
+ministers&mdash;the original one and the Cunningsburgh man also&mdash;at length
+mounted the trap with me, and we all went joyfully on the final lap. The
+object of the journey was to visit Mr. Sinclair of Sandwick, a gentleman
+well worth going fifty miles to see. Mr. Sinclair has many qualities
+that make a man notorious. He went to Australia in an emigrant ship many
+years ago, and wrote a book upon it, in which he playfully remarks that
+he got the full value of his passage money, inasmuch as there was a
+birth, a death, and a suicide, between Ply<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_247" id="Page_247">{247}</a></span>mouth and Melbourne. Another
+of his distinctions is great dexterity in playing the violin, his
+favourite pieces being "The Scalloway Lasses" and "The Auld Wife ayont
+the Fire." The title of the last-named piece rather staggered me, until
+I was informed by one of the ministers, who is a scholar and an
+antiquarian, that it relates to a time when the fire was in the middle
+of the room and when the smoke escaped by a hole in the roof, or in
+default of that, by the door. Mr. Sinclair rendered these pieces with
+infinite gusto, and, like all true artists, got as much pleasure as he
+gave. He had also the most diverting way of ejaculating the word <i>hooch</i>
+I have ever heard in my journey through life. It gives me pleasure to
+add that he wrote a poem on fifty whales that were driven from the sea
+by the local fishermen into Sandwick Bay. These whales were all
+beautifully cooped in the narrow inlet and stranded on the beach, when
+lo! the local landowners, citing some old statute, claimed from the
+fishermen a share of the spoil. Mr. Sinclair, indignant and astute at
+once, took upon himself the championship of the fishermen, and managed
+matters so admirably that the lords of the soil were completely worsted
+in the Edinburgh law-courts. Flushed with such signal success, he put
+the whole story into metre. A printed and framed copy of the poem hangs
+in a conspicuous place in his sitting-room. At our special request, he
+favoured us by singing the impassioned stanzas. It was a unique treat to
+hear him do so. There he was in the centre of the room holding the
+framed verses in his hand, gazing fondly thereat even as a mother
+regards her child. When the chorus<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_248" id="Page_248">{248}</a></span> came on, he laid down the poem, and
+lifted up his voice with glorious enthusiastic force. Inspiration was in
+his eye, his grey locks became dishevelled, his arms swung rhythmically
+to the beat of the melody. The entire interview was intense: it was one
+crowded hour, of which time is unable to cancel the memory.</p>
+
+
+<h3>LOCAL TALES.</h3>
+
+<p>The evening was a glorious one, and we <i>walked</i> back some miles of the
+way. The Cunningsburgh minister was full of stories. He alluded
+laughingly to one of his flock who, when under the influence of drink,
+was powerful in prayer. "<i>When he gets a dram he goes to his knees at
+once.</i>" The anecdote seemed to me to run counter to the views of the
+hymnologist who says "Satan trembles when he sees, the weakest saint
+upon his knees." Another of his stories had reference to two old
+crofters, both over eighty, who began one evening to talk of the follies
+of the young fisher-lads when they took to dram-drinking. One of the two
+remarked: "I wonder now what folly we two old men would commit if we
+chanced to get intoxicated, say at a funeral." "Well," said the other
+hoary-headed and infirm octogenarian, "I have no idea what you would do,
+but I am certain of this, that if I ever got the least bit touched, I
+would go and make love to the lasses at once." Thereupon the two feeble
+old fellows skirled a wicked laugh, and nearly gasped out their slim
+residue of life in unseemly merriment.</p>
+
+<p>Both ministers assured me that the belief in fairies still lingers on
+among the Shetland peasantry. Up on<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249">{249}</a></span> the hill-side the trow is supposed
+to wander about, and the little fellow can be seen skipping on the
+moon-light sward, by all who have eyes and the necessary faith. It is
+believed that he haunts the road-side even when the moon is not shining:
+consequently, when the crofters have to go out of doors at night, they
+protect themselves from his spells by carrying with them a blazing peat
+gripped with tongs. This smokes and sparkles in the darkness and the
+trow does not like it. It is easy for the electric-lighted citizens of
+Glasgow and Edinburgh to laugh at the simple folk-lore of fisher and
+crofter; but no one, however learned and sceptical, can quite escape
+from the mystic influence of fairy-lore if he lives through a winter
+among believing dalesmen. Let him look on the long silvery glimmer of a
+sea-voe, and hear the natives tell of trows chasing the ebbing Neptune
+down there on the dim sea-strand in a night of haze, before he says
+(with Theseus, in the <i>Midsummer Night's Dream</i>):</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i8">"I never may believe<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">These antick fables, nor those fairy toys."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>To the ear and eye of the philological Jakobsen, the Shetlanders both in
+speech and looks are remarkably like the Norwegians of the Saettersdal.
+In that part of Norway the trow is also a very popular terror. Children
+of a disobedient and obstreperous turn are afraid to venture near a wood
+at nightfall for fear of a little bogie with a red cap, who may suddenly
+slide down a pine-tree and snatch them off.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_250" id="Page_250">{250}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h3>FOULAH AND FAIR ISLE.</h3>
+
+<p>I do not altogether envy the candidate for parliamentary honours who has
+to <i>nurse</i> a remote insular constituency like Orkney and Shetland. I met
+Mr. Cathcart Wason in Lerwick, and learned that he had been going the
+round of the islands and had even paid a visit to the isolated and
+mountainous rock of Foulah. Now this was a very daring feat indeed, for
+I have heard of a young man who went once to visit his friends there and
+was kept a prisoner for five months owing to the squalls. The papers
+complimented Mr. Wason on his intrepidity: he went over from Walls in a
+smack, and did not make his address too lengthy, for fear the weather
+might change and Westminster be deprived of his eloquence for a space.
+Mr. Wason is a very tall gentleman, but in Foulah he met his peers in
+point of stature. The islanders are a fine set of men, hardy and godly.
+They are adroit fowlers and nimble cragsmen. It gives one a queer
+sensation to hear that the face of their sheer precipices used to be
+(like level land elsewhere) apportioned equitably among the various
+families. If A did not wish to catch birds on his aerial lot, he could
+let it to B and claim a certain percentage of the spoil. The population
+of the island is about 250: owing probably to intermarriage, there are
+many childless homes.</p>
+
+<p>I do not know if Mr. Wason has ever been to the Fair Isle, but I
+understand an Ex-Moderator of the Church of Scotland visited the little
+community there<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_251" id="Page_251">{251}</a></span> in 1903. There are two ways of getting to this islet:
+(1) by means of a sailing boat which leaves Grutness for Fair Isle once
+a fortnight with the mails; if the weather is bad, this mode of
+communication is suspended, as in winter no sane man would venture
+through the roost in such a boat; (2) by taking a passage on board the
+<span class="smcap lowercase">S.S.</span> <i>Pole Star</i>, which calls on the first of every month with stores
+for the lighthouse. She is a strong, swift boat, and makes the journey
+from Stromness, seventy miles away. I may remark that a lecturer wishing
+to speak in the Fair Isle need not trouble himself about placards or
+handbills: the whole population will be on the shore to welcome him when
+he lands, and he could conveniently intimate his subject then, if he has
+any breath left in his body. The Fair Isle possesses a church organ and
+a non-surpliced choir. The islanders have a great appetite for sermons,
+as the following story, told by Mr. Russell, amply proves. "The minister
+of Dunrossness went one summer to dispense the communion in the Fair
+Isle, and a storm came on which detained him there for about eight days.
+The weather also prevented the boats from going to the fishing. As the
+people had no pressing work to do at the time, and as it was only on
+rare occasions that they enjoyed the presence of the parish minister,
+they were anxious to avail themselves of his services while he was among
+them. <i>Accordingly, at their desire, he preached every day during his
+stay. In all, he preached thirteen times.</i> He had taken the precaution
+of bringing a good stock of sermons with him. Before this was exhausted,
+the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_252" id="Page_252">{252}</a></span> weather providentially improved, so that he was able to get
+home."<a name="FNanchor_26_26" id="FNanchor_26_26"></a><a href="#Footnote_26_26" class="fnanchor">[26]</a></p>
+
+<p>The cherished legends of one's youth get sorely demolished in the course
+of travel and investigation. The school-books used to say that the
+Shetlanders were taught to knit by Spanish women saved from the wreck of
+the Armada. The islanders stoutly deny any indebtedness, and declare
+that there never was the slightest friendship between their ancestors
+and the crews of King Philip's galleons.</p>
+
+
+<h3>THE FISHING SEASON.</h3>
+
+<p>To Lerwick, during the fishing season, thousands of women come from the
+island of Lewis to gut the myriad herring that are daily brought into
+the bay. There is an extemporised town for the strangers on the
+outskirts, over which float many odours, weird, pungent, and unsavoury.
+All the processes of gutting, curing, and kippering go on in grand
+style. The women, clad<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_253" id="Page_253">{253}</a></span> in a kind of oilskin, handle their dangerous
+implements in most dexterous fashion. It is a horrid business, but well
+paid. Prolific Nature is never tired supplying these women with work,
+for as many as 68,000 eggs have been found in the roe of one female
+herring. My friend, Mr. M'Kenzie of Ullapool, who is in the service of
+the Fishery Board, took me to see the official examination of several
+hundred barrels of fish, preparatory to the branding thereon of the
+official stamp. The owners pay for this examination, but the additional
+value given to each barrel by the Government mark far surpasses the fee
+exacted by the Board. The branding-officer selects at random a barrel
+here and there, extracts some dozen fish from each, and satisfies
+himself as to the size and quality. If the herring are puny or of
+inferior sort, the officer refuses to brand, and the examination fee is
+refunded. Mr. M'Kenzie remarked that this was the only case in which he
+had ever seen men reluctant to receive money. I followed that gentleman
+as he walked over the long lines of slippery herring barrels, lying in
+horizontal juxtaposition, and I cannot recommend the exercise to those
+who have had no training in gymnastics.</p>
+
+<p>The great success of the Shetland fisheries during the last year or two
+has brought to Lerwick a palpable increase of business and droves of
+business men. In the Grand Hotel there were, in August last, thirty
+gentlemen resident who were in some way brought thither by the traffic
+in herring&mdash;among the number a young Russian, who, with his wife, sat at
+a little table apart, and kept jabbering their language with glib
+expressive<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_254" id="Page_254">{254}</a></span>ness. His name was Walk-off, and his object was the
+annexation of fish for Muscovite consumption. He had a flabby face and
+long, dark hair, which he publicly combed. <i>She</i> was small and
+pretty&mdash;doll-like, indeed&mdash;with jewels in her ears, which glittered and
+flashed in the gas-light. She was a very loquacious wee creature, and
+her intonation reminded me of the caressing way the Swedes articulate
+English. I heard him read the Russian newspapers to her with evident
+emotion, but the only word I could make out was <i>Kouropatkin</i>. The
+herring-agents at the hotel table were full of drollery. One of them,
+hailing from Wick, addressed a neighbour abruptly to this effect: "I am
+a rather expensive man to sit beside, and to one like you especially so,
+for you seem to be a water-drinker. When I tell you who I am, however,
+you will insist on standing me a bottle of champagne." He was frigidly
+asked to state his grounds for such a preposterous expectation. "Prepare
+to gasp," he replied; "you see before you one who is a model and a
+beacon to all the men of Caithness. I am the sire of nine sturdy sons,
+and <i>they have only three birth-days among them</i>, seeing that they came
+into this vale of tears three at a time."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_255" id="Page_255">{255}</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VI" id="CHAPTER_VI"></a>CHAPTER VI.<br />
+<br />
+<span style="font-size: 75%;">COMMERCIAL TRAVELLERS AND THEIR ANECDOTES.</span></h2>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>Trials of commercials&mdash;The two-est-faced knave&mdash;Mary, the maid
+of the inn&mdash;Anecdotes of the smoking-room: Sonnet to
+Raleigh&mdash;Peelin's below the tree&mdash;"She's away!"&mdash;A mean
+house&mdash;One of the director's wives&mdash;Temperance hotels&mdash;A
+memorial window&mdash;The blasted heath&mdash;The day for it&mdash;The
+converted drummer&mdash;A circular ticket&mdash;A compound
+possessive&mdash;Sixteen medals&mdash;"She's auld, and she's thin, and
+she'll keep"&mdash;The will o' the dead&mdash;Sorry for London&mdash;"Raither
+unceevil"&mdash;An unwelcome recitation&mdash;A word in season&mdash;A Nairn
+critic&mdash;A grand day for it&mdash;A pro-Boer&mdash;"Falls of Bruar, only,
+please!"&mdash;A bad case of nerves.</p></div>
+
+
+<h3>TRIALS OF COMMERCIALS.</h3>
+
+<p>The commercial traveller (that bustling and indispensable middleman)
+leads a life of mingled joy and pain. He is constantly on the move, and
+from meeting innumerable types of men, becomes very shrewd in judging
+character. Resource, readiness, abundance of glib phrases must in time
+become his. He must not, for fear of offence, show any marked bias in
+politics or religion. His temper must be well under control; he must
+have the patience of an angel; he must smile with those that are merry,
+be lugubrious with those that are in the dumps, and listen, with
+apparent interest,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256">{256}</a></span> to the stock stories of hoary-headed prosers. It is
+not enough that he should book orders. Some shaky customers are only too
+ready to give these. It is his business to book orders only from those
+that are likely to pay. A big order delivered to a scoundrel who means
+to fail next week, is a horrible calamity, which, if it does not result
+in pains and penalties, means a sharp reprimand and a loss of prestige
+at headquarters, that may take years to redeem.</p>
+
+<p>He has to sleep in many a different bed. It is lucky for him if a damp
+couch has not rheumatised his limbs. No one knows better than he that
+what seems a bell-pull has often, owing to former violence and broken
+wires, no connection with the bell. Here a chimney smokes, there the
+flue is blocked with birds' nests. In certain country inns, the flimsy
+gossamer of spiders makes an undesirable fretwork over the greenish
+knobs of the ill-puttied panes. Mice, rats, and "such small deer"
+scamper uncannily the live-long night along the worn waxcloths and
+unspeakable carpets. As he undresses by the light of a three-inch
+candle, he has his soul horrified by early Victorian prints, of Paul
+tumbling from his horse on the way to Damascus, of the gory relief of
+Lucknow, or of some towsy-headed clansman smiling out of perspective. He
+is by no means a tourist on pleasure bent. He must face gust and surge,
+for he cannot choose his time and weather. His duty is to cover as much
+ground as he can in a given week, fill his order-book with
+irreproachable orders, and get home to report, preparatory to another
+sally in another direction. Competition stings him into feverish
+activity. If he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_257" id="Page_257">{257}</a></span> sells tea, he well knows that an army of rivals is
+scouring the whole country with samples as good, or perhaps a great deal
+better, than his own.</p>
+
+
+<h3>THE TWO-EST-FACED KNAVE.</h3>
+
+<p>Nevertheless, the jovial facetiousness of these commercial gentlemen
+knows no limits, and hotel-waiters are, at all times, fair game for
+their stings and arrows. In one of the northern hotels, there used to be
+a portly and rubicund waiter who might have passed for the High Priest
+of the Goddess of Health. His face shone, if I may say so, with the
+radiance of perfect digestion. A pert commercial, one day, approached
+him with an affected look of deep concern and said, "<i>Well, I hope
+you're keeping better</i>," accompanying the remark with a dig in the
+waiter's stomach. The waiter, who had never known a minute's ill-health
+in his life, swore vividly for fifteen minutes without repeating
+himself, and among many references to the commercial's ancestry, called
+him the <i>two-est-faced</i> knave that had ever set foot on the Shetland
+Islands. Such a superlative was felt by all to be a masterpiece of
+language, and turned the laugh against the bagman.<a name="FNanchor_27_27" id="FNanchor_27_27"></a><a href="#Footnote_27_27" class="fnanchor">[27]</a>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_258" id="Page_258">{258}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h3>MARY, THE MAID OF THE INN.</h3>
+
+<p>I have a great deal of sympathy with hotel-porters and waiters, and
+think them unduly longsuffering at times. As to Mary, the exemplary maid
+of the hotel alluded to, she can hold her own in repartee with any of
+the visitors. She is a distinct character, and Molière could have made a
+"type" of her. She has no sinecure of a situation, and, after eleven at
+night, when the last supper is over, she has to polish the knives for
+the morrow's breakfast. She is young, slim, and active, and wears a
+string of red corals round her neck. The place is not frequented by
+plutocratic tourists, and so her tips are meagre. In spite of her long
+days and her slim perquisites, the girl is affable, smiling, and gay.
+She trips out and in, sylph-like, can carve fowls most dexterously by
+the light of nature, never spills the soup, and has a laughing and
+appropriate word for all. Mary, I hope, will get some decent fellow for
+husband, and be a stay and comfort to him all the days of his life.
+Meanwhile, however (to use the historic present), a nice old gentleman
+in the soft goods line, who hails from the flourishing village of
+Dundee, is paying her marked attentions. She will have none of him, for
+all his apostolic looks. He repeats to her, with a comically sentimental
+air, the lines of Omar:</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Here with a book of verse beneath the bough,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A loaf of bread, a cup of wine, and thou<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Beside me singing in the wilderness,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The wilderness were Paradise enow."<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_259" id="Page_259">{259}</a></span></div></div>
+
+<p>Mary looks in amazement at the old gentleman with the insinuating voice,
+anon bursts into a merry peal, and trips off with the remark, "<i>There's
+nae fules like auld anes</i>," which a listening Londoner takes to mean,
+"There's nothing fills like onions!"</p>
+
+
+<h3>ANECDOTES OF THE SMOKING-ROOM.</h3>
+
+<h4>SONNET TO RALEIGH.</h4>
+
+<p>The conversation of an intelligent commercial traveller is, as I said,
+of a facetious and entertaining turn. He speaks to so many people in the
+course of a day and hears so many anecdotes as he rushes about, that his
+sense of humour becomes very keen. Old Burton, author of the <i>Anatomy of
+Melancholy</i>, used to dissipate his sombre thoughts by listening to the
+coarse badinage of bargemen: a modern, afflicted with Burton's
+complaint, might well find a cure in the smoking-room of a hotel among a
+company of commercial travellers. One Saturday night, in a Shetland
+hotel, I listened to a crowd of these merry gentlemen communicating to
+each other their several collections of stories. Before doing so, they
+all sang with great fervour the well-known hymn <i>The Sands of Time are
+Sinking</i>, a whisky-traveller officiating at the harmonium. One of the
+number ostentatiously beat time with his pipe. It was a very affecting
+scene, and certain of the singers were moved to tears at their own
+melody.</p>
+
+<p>The company then settled down, in a pleased frame of mind, to tell
+stories. I noted some of these, and as they were new to me, I cherish
+the hope that they may<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_260" id="Page_260">{260}</a></span> not be stale to others. The following
+preliminary sonnet to Sir Walter Raleigh seems to be apposite and new;
+it is needed to give atmosphere to the tales:</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Raleigh! the benefactor of thy kind,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">May azure undulations ever roll<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">As incense to thee from the glowing bowl,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Thy rapt disciples fume with placid mind<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">In easy chair, by ingle-nook reclined!<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Next to the mage, Prometheus, who stole<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">From Heaven's court with philanthropic soul,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The wonder-working fire, thou art enshrined<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">In mortal bosoms as a friend, for thou<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Did'st bring from sunset isles the magic leaf<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">That weaves enchantment's halo round the brow,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Alleviates the pang of every grief<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And stirs the bard, exempt from fretting cares,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To wail the weird of pipeless millionaires.<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>And now for the stories.</p>
+
+
+<h4>"PEELIN'S BELOW THE TREE."</h4>
+
+<p>A Sunday School teacher in the island of Luing was giving a lesson on
+the disobedience of Adam and Eve, and the fruit of that forbidden tree
+whose mortal taste brought death into this world, and other ills. At the
+close of his harangue, which was rather above the heads of the children,
+he said, "Can any of you tell me <i>how the Creator knew</i> that Adam had
+eaten the apple?" There was silence for a time. At last one boy, with a
+glimmer of light in his eyes, shouted: "Please, sir, because He <i>saw the
+peelin's below the tree</i>."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_261" id="Page_261">{261}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h4>"SHE'S AWAY."</h4>
+
+<p>An Englishman staying in Oban, wished to visit the island of Coll, and
+discovered, on enquiry at Macbrayne's office, that the S.S. <i>Fingal</i>
+left for that outer isle at five in the morning. He accordingly gave
+serious instructions to the "boots" of his hotel to rap him up at 4.30
+<span class="smcap lowercase">A.M.</span>, and to show him no mercy. At <i>six</i> o'clock, the tourist was
+awakened by a noise like that of a battering-ram at his door, and a
+stentorian voice sternly enquiring: "Are you the gentleman that's going
+with the early boat?" "Yes, yes, I am," said the tourist, leaping to his
+feet. "<i>Well, she's away</i>," said the boots. (This is a story that grows
+on one.)</p>
+
+
+<h4>A MEAN HOUSE.</h4>
+
+<p>Another hotel story: Feeling somewhat thirsty in the middle of his
+dinner and not judging that water was sufficiently slockening, a visitor
+rang the bell and asked the waiter to bring him a bottle of lager. This
+was done. "How much do you charge for this?" enquired the traveller.
+"Ninepence," replied the waiter. Anger, consternation, and incredulity
+were all depicted, by turns, on the visitor's cheek. "What!" he shouted,
+"<i>ninepence</i>. Why, I could buy a dozen bottles for half-a-crown. It's
+downright robbery to ask ninepence for one bottle. You've made a
+mistake." "I've made no mistake," said the waiter; "I was told to ask
+ninepence. <i>But</i>," (at this point he sidled up to the traveller and
+whispered, with terrible accents, in his ear) "<i>it's a damp mean house
+this you're in, and I'm leaving mysel' the morn!</i>"<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_262" id="Page_262">{262}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h4>ONE OF THE DIRECTOR'S WIVES.</h4>
+
+<p>A gentleman who loved tobacco exceedingly well, went into a first-class
+smoking compartment, filled his pipe, and settled down, with a newspaper
+in front of him, to enjoy the luxury of a long and undisturbed worship
+of the weed. He had a journey of fifty miles before him. Just as the
+train was moving off, a lady, who was panting and flustered, was pushed
+up into the compartment by a porter. It was soon evident that pipes and
+tobacco were not congenial to this dame. She began to sniff in a very
+haughty fashion, but the smoker, utterly indifferent to her presence,
+continued to roll out with deliberate relish his dense tobacco fumes.
+Soon she lost all patience, and said with extreme bitterness: "You
+there, behind that paper, you have no manners. You have no right to
+smoke before a lady. Do you know who I am? <i>I am one of the directors'
+wives, sir.</i>" Down went the journal, and "Oh, indeed," said he, "you are
+one of the director's wives, are you? Well, let me tell you this, that
+even if you were the director's <i>only</i> wife, I do not intend to
+encourage you, by any compliance of mine, in the bad habit of rushing
+for trains and getting into the wrong compartment!"</p>
+
+
+<h4>TEMPERANCE HOTELS.</h4>
+
+<p>An English clergyman&mdash;a pronounced teetotaler and temperance worker&mdash;was
+being driven through the streets of a Scotch town in an open machine.
+Looking round, with expansive benevolence, on the streets and people, he
+was overjoyed to see such a large number of temperance hotels. "Driver,"
+he exclaimed, "I am<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_263" id="Page_263">{263}</a></span> delighted to see, by the hotels, that total
+abstinence has got such a firm hold in this place." "Indeed, sir," said
+the driver, "don't be too sure of that. We have two kinds of temperance
+hotels here: the first kind would like the licence, but can't get it;
+the second kind have had the licence, and lost it through bad behaviour
+and disorderly conduct."</p>
+
+
+<h4>A MEMORIAL WINDOW.</h4>
+
+<p>An inn-keeper in Ross-shire, with great enthusiasm, said to a visitor:
+"There's nobody I work for with more satisfaction than an English
+gentleman. Now, there's Sir Samuel Oatts, the wealthy Liverpool merchant
+that has the shootings near here. He is a fine gentleman, and so
+considerate. He is not very good at shooting, I must admit: he often
+misses the birds, and he goes through a good number of dogs. One day he
+shot the keeper in the right eye, and blinded it. But he gave the keeper
+a handsome present and a fine new glass eye. We call that eye '<i>Oatts'
+Memorial Window</i>,' and the keeper can sleep during the sermon now
+without anybody knowing, provided he does not snore."</p>
+
+
+<h4>THE BLASTED HEATH.</h4>
+
+<p>Two English tourists&mdash;big, hearty fellows&mdash;were travelling in the same
+compartment with a communicative Scot, when the train stopped at Forres.
+"Gentlemen," said the Scot, "this is Forres, and I'm sure you've read
+about it; quite near Forres is the <i>blasted heath</i> where Macbeth was
+accosted by the witches." "How shocking," said one of the English<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_264" id="Page_264">{264}</a></span>men;
+"how really shocking! Well, you see, we haven't read about that yet:
+we've been up North for some time, and <i>we have'nt seen the pypers for
+ten dyes!</i>"</p>
+
+
+<h4>THE DAY FOR IT.</h4>
+
+<p>The driver of the bus which goes through the delightful part of
+Argyllshire known as Hell's Glen, is often chaffed by the summer
+tourists rather unmercifully. One day, a nervous southern was
+criticising him on his furious and careless driving: "You shouldn't be
+on the box at all; I never saw such a wild driver." "Drive!" said Jehu,
+in a voice of thunder. "Why, man, once every year, I drive the
+mail-coach <i>down that steep hill-side</i> among the bracken. <i>And this is
+the day for it!</i>" So saying, the humorous fellow made as if to whip the
+horses down the cliff, and the terrified tourist shrieked aloud. "Seeing
+I've such a nervous passenger," said the driver, with a guffaw, "I had
+better break my own rules, and keep to the main road."</p>
+
+
+<h4>THE CONVERTED DRUMMER.</h4>
+
+<p>A dilapidated Scot, with a strong odour of the accursed, staggered into
+a Salvation Army meeting one night, and was deeply impressed by the
+service. He became a changed man, professed conversion, and got a
+thorough moral overhaul. Like many others, he had great difficulty in
+keeping his good resolutions, but persevered, nobly and successfully.
+Latterly, he was admitted into the orchestra, and got command of the big
+drum. He was so anxious to show his zeal, that he beat far too
+vehemently, and drowned all the other<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_265" id="Page_265">{265}</a></span> instruments in his ecstatic
+rataplan. The captain mildly remonstrated with him, and requested him to
+beat a little more gently. "<i>Gently!</i>" shouted the reformed drummer,
+"that's impossible. Since I've got salvation, I feel so happy, that I
+could ding the whole slammed thing to bits!" (or rather "slim the whole
+danged thing to bits").</p>
+
+
+<h4>A CIRCULAR TICKET.</h4>
+
+<p>Three commercials, travelling from Cork to Dublin, had a discussion on
+the illiteracy of the Irish railway employés. "Look here," said one of
+them, "the majority of the ticket collectors can't even <i>read</i> the
+tickets they are supposed to check." The other two refused to believe
+him, but he stoutly maintained his assertion. Taking out of his pocket
+the round ticket given him at the office of the Cork hotel, and
+containing the number of his bedroom, he said, "I intend to offer this,
+instead of my railway ticket, at the first station where tickets are
+punched." Shortly thereafter, the train stopped, and a porter came round
+the carriages to look at the tickets. There was silence deep as death
+when the commercial handed his bedroom ticket to the official. The
+latter looked long and carefully at the thing and muttered, "Bejabbers,
+I never saw one like that before!" "Don't keep the train waiting," said
+the commercial, in a pretended fury, "don't you see it's a <i>circular
+ticket</i>." "Oh, and in faith it's you that's right: it <i>is</i> a circular
+ticket," said the porter. So saying, he punched the hotel check and
+withdrew, leaving the three travellers to weep for joy all the way to
+Dublin.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_266" id="Page_266">{266}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h4>A COMPOUND POSSESSIVE.</h4>
+
+<p>The following grammatical story will doubtless be new to most readers. A
+Sunday School jaunt had been arranged in an Ayrshire town, and the
+children were all ready to go in carts to a field, some miles away, for
+games and open-air junketing. Everyone was impatient to set out, but the
+piper was late, and the procession of carts could not start without
+music. The minister became impatient, and sent a youth to tell the piper
+to hurry up. The boy, on coming to the piper's house, saw a woman
+standing at the door, and addressed her in these words: "<i>Are you the
+man-that-plays-the-pipes's wife?</i>"</p>
+
+
+<h4>SIXTEEN MEDALS.</h4>
+
+<p>Those who doubt the efficacy of self-lauding advertisement are refuted
+by this story. A commercial traveller, representing a whisky firm,
+craved an order from a small Highland innkeeper. "Come, Donald," he
+said, "you must give me an order this time." "You will be getting no
+order from me, for your whisky is no good whatever. Dewar of Perth has
+got sixteen medals for his whisky; it is so good to drink, and makes
+people drunk so nice and quiet. But <i>your firm never got a single medal
+for filling folk fou</i>." The granting of medals for quiet and comely
+intoxication is a brilliant, although droll, idea.</p>
+
+
+<h4>"SHE'S AULD, AND SHE'S THIN, AND SHE'LL KEEP."</h4>
+
+<p>In a lone isle of the West, funerals are functions that cannot be
+celebrated (at least in the way consecrated tradition prescribes)
+without ample dispensing of whisky<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_267" id="Page_267">{267}</a></span> among the mourners. As there is no
+pier on the island, the steamer very frequently may not be able to call
+for days, during the terrific gales of winter. The legitimate stores of
+insular whisky thus occasionally become exhausted, and should a death
+occur during the period of dearth, a very regrettable situation arises.
+In the epigrammatic style of King James I., who used to say "<i>No bishop,
+no king</i>," we might express the difficulty by saying <i>No whisky, no
+funeral</i>. While a gale of exceptional ferocity was raging some winters
+ago, an old woman passed away, and there was not enough whisky on the
+island to bury her with credit. Her son scanned the angry sky and sea
+daily, in the hope that the weather would show signs of clearing up.
+After a week's blighted hopes, he still refused to sanction interment,
+remarking, "<i>She's auld, and she's thin, and she'll keep</i>." Next day the
+sea was calm, the <i>Dunara</i> called, and the old lady got her <i>munera
+pulveris</i>.</p>
+
+
+<h4>THE WILL O' THE DEAD.</h4>
+
+<p>The foregoing story suggested to one of the auditors the tale told in
+connection with the death of Lord Forglen, one of the Judges of the
+Court of Session, in 1727. After a long illness, in which he had endured
+the expert advice of several eminent physicians, Forglen, one morning,
+departed into the land of shadows. Not knowing of the fatal termination,
+one of the medical men, Dr. Clark, called as usual and asked David Reid,
+clerk to Forglen, how his master was. David's answer was: "I houp he's
+well,"&mdash;a gentle euphuism, indicating that all was over, and also a
+timid hope that Heaven had<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_268" id="Page_268">{268}</a></span> received a new inhabitant. The doctor was
+shown into a room where he saw two dozen of wine under the table. Other
+doctors arriving, David made them all take seats, while he detailed,
+with much pathos, the affecting incidents of his master's dying hours.
+As an antidote to their grief, the company took a glass or two, and
+thereafter the doctors rose to depart, but David detained them. "No, no,
+gentlemen; not so. It was the express will o' the dead that I should
+fill ye a' fou, and I maun fulfil the will o' the dead." All the time
+the tears were streaming down his cheeks. "And indeed," said Dr. Clark
+afterwards, when telling the story, "he did fulfil the will o' the dead,
+for before the end o't there was na ane of us able to bite his ain
+thoom."</p>
+
+
+<h4>SORRY FOR LONDON.</h4>
+
+<p>The following story is a good example of insular patriotism. Certain
+shooting tourists in the island of Mull, who hailed from London, and who
+were expecting important news from the capital, were greatly exasperated
+to find, on calling at the local post-office, that telegraphic
+communication with the mainland had broken down. Some very uncanonical
+language was indulged in, which the local postmaster deeply resented.
+One tourist after another, exclaimed with blank despair: "Alas, poor
+Mull will get no news from London to-day." "What will Mull do without
+the London news?" "No news from London, what a misfortune for Mull!"
+This harping on the forlornness of the island caused the blood of the
+postmaster to boil with indignation, and he shouted in ire: "It is not
+Mull I<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_269" id="Page_269">{269}</a></span> will be sorry for, at all, at all. Mull can do without the
+London news. But what will poor London do, when she finds she will not
+be able to get any news from Tobermory, or from Salen, or from Dervaig,
+or from Craignure, or from Lochdon, or from Lochbuie, or from Bunessan,
+the whole of this blessed day!"</p>
+
+
+<h4>"RAITHER UNCEEVIL."</h4>
+
+<p>A well-known boat, <i>The Stormy Petrel</i>, had been to Ardrossan for coal,
+and was conveying the precious cargo to the romantic terminus of
+Cairndow at the head of Loch Fyne. At St. Catherine's a great thirst
+took possession of the crew, and they put in there for refreshments. The
+conversation was most animated, and extended itself over a wide tract of
+political and theological topics. On setting out for Cairndow early next
+morning, all the crew had wistful, lustreless eyes, confused thoughts,
+and bad consciences. He to whom the coal was being conveyed, was
+awaiting them. He rowed out to <i>The Stormy Petrel</i> in a small boat, and
+on coming near assailed them, in English and Gaelic, with all the most
+vituperative expressions he could remember. But the crew, each and all
+of them, knew they had been guilty of culpable delay, and uttered not a
+word, good or bad, as their assailant rowed round their boat and
+withered them with his invective. They had no fight left in them, and
+sat, with bowed heads, till the storm would subside. After enduring the
+agony for half an hour, one of the crew looked up and said, "Do you no'
+think, Mr. Sanderson, that you're <i>raither unceevil so early in the
+morning</i>?" This remark, uttered in a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_270" id="Page_270">{270}</a></span> quiet, sad, reproachful way,
+staggered Mr. Sanderson far more than the most thunderous abuse would
+have done, and brought home to him the undoubted fact that he had been
+defective on the score of good taste.</p>
+
+
+<h4>AN UNWELCOME RECITATION.</h4>
+
+<p>One of the travellers, on being asked to contribute his item to the fund
+of anecdotes, said that instead of telling a tale, he would give a
+recitation. Before doing so, he sneezed artificially six times, and then
+recited a poem on</p>
+
+<h5><i>Influenza.</i></h5>
+
+<div class='block'><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Influenza has come like the wolf on the fold,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And the duke and the ditcher are down with the cold.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The doctor is smiling, for business is here,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And the chink of the guinea resounds in his ear.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">No household is spared: both the villa and cot<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Their quota of swollen-nosed patients have got.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The clerk of the weather is gloating on high<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">At the lords of creation that bed-ridden lie.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Each chamber resounds with the echo of sneezing,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">With deep-laboured coughing and bronchial wheezing.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">While, loading the table, the victim can spy<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Lotions, tonics, and ointments confusedly lie.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The druggist (douce man) is thanking his stars<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">For this nice epidemic of paying catarrhs,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">He's making his hay, though no sunshine is seen,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And his till gleams with silver where copper has been.<br /></span>
+</div></div></div>
+
+
+<h4>A WORD IN SEASON.</h4>
+
+<p>This dismal piece of verse effectually cleared the smoking-room, and
+filled me with a great sorrow, since<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_271" id="Page_271">{271}</a></span> I had just recollected three or
+four stories of my own. I now take the liberty of laying these before
+the ingenuous reader. If he says they are dull, let me tell him (i.)
+that he has no perception of humour, and (ii.) that occasional dulness
+is the inalienable privilege of every free-born Briton. Many a spry
+wight thinks it his duty to be <i>continuously funny and monotonously
+merry</i>. Let a quiet and demure dulness be the foil of your
+side-splitting sallies. Learn to keep the peace, yea for hours at a
+time. If you are in a mixed company, cultivate the dictum of "give and
+take." Be not for ever doling out your scraps of mirth to the dyspeptic
+stomachs of your associates. A wise reciprocity and interplay of
+merriment is the best rule&mdash;a fair share among the entire party. Burns
+himself, sparkling talker as he was, is recorded to have been at times
+sunk in gloom and shadow. But anon emerging from his moodiness, he would
+utter such words as set the table in a roar. And now for these
+masterpieces of humour.</p>
+
+
+<h3>A NAIRN CRITIC.</h3>
+
+<p>Why is it that publishers, aye, and even booksellers, are so often out
+of sympathy with the poets? I spoke once to a bookseller in Nairn about
+a local poet's volume that was lying on the counter. "Do you personally
+know this bard?" I asked. "Ay, that I do," was the reply; "he's an
+eccentric wee chap. I've many a laugh at him as he goes along the
+street, muttering to himself and picking his teeth with a fountain-pen.
+Eccentric! bless my soul, how could a poet be anything but eccentric?
+Besides, he's bound to be a liar: for if<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_272" id="Page_272">{272}</a></span> he can't get the end of a line
+to come right with truth for a rhyme, he has got to make it <i>clink with
+a whopper</i>. Why, man, it's a great worry for an honest man like me to
+speak the truth in plain prose. If I were to send out my bills in metre
+to my customers, there would be a rise of temperature soon in the town
+of Nairn. No, no: the only thing that can be done with a poet's
+manuscript is to take it to the head of the garden, sprinkle it with
+paraffin, and apply a vesta."</p>
+
+
+<h3>"A GRAND DAY FOR IT."</h3>
+
+<p>While one of the great six-day battles of the Eastern war was going on,
+a country doctor, by some mistake in delivery, did not get his <i>Herald</i>
+to breakfast one morning. Anxious to get the news, he bolted his meal
+and sallied forth to hear the latest from the seat of war. He saw a
+wrinkled old churl trimming the roadside hedge with a bill-hook, and
+humming a tune like the gravedigger in <i>Hamlet</i>, Act v. "Any news of the
+war?" gasped the doctor. "Eh?" said the old man, without discontinuing
+his work. "Are you not aware," said the doctor, "that there is a great
+battle raging in Manchuria?" "No," said the man, "I know nothing about
+it, and care less." "What!" shouted the doctor. "You care nothing about
+it? Why, man, the Russians and Japanese are at this moment <i>fighting for
+the hegemony of all Eastern Asia</i>." "Lord, do you say so?" replied the
+old cock, lopping unconcernedly at his hedge; "well, all I can say is,
+that <i>they're gettin' a grand day for it</i>."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_273" id="Page_273">{273}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h3>A PRO-BOER.</h3>
+
+<p>On one occasion, in the West Highlands, I availed myself of a lugsail
+ferry to cross an arm of the sea and so avoid a long détour by land. The
+boat was old, the sail was thick with big-stitched patches, and the
+ferryman was an elder. I had much edifying talk with him, and at last
+gliding from the Declaratory Act, of which he did not approve, I asked
+him if he had any family. "Yes," he replied, "I have two sons. One of
+them is a polissman in Glasgow, a nice lad, a very nice lad: he sends me
+ten shillings every month; oh! an excellent lad is he indeed. But my
+other son is a disgrace to me; he is bad, very bad. He is a drunkard and
+a card-player and a Sabbath-breaker, and what's a thousand times worse
+than all that, he's a <i>Pro-Boer</i>." This instance of patriotism in a
+remote Highland nook was very refreshing for me to hear, and I gave the
+anti-Krugerite elder a substantial fare for his trouble in ferrying me
+over the loch. He invoked the blessing of Heaven on me, and I hope his
+prayer will be answered.</p>
+
+
+<h3>"FALLS OF BRUAR, ONLY, PLEASE!"</h3>
+
+<p>Some years ago, I had occasion to spend a day at Blair Athol, where I
+was dosed with nothing but kindness by a genial son of the famous Clan
+Macdonald. He put his trap and driver at my disposal, in order that I
+might, with comfort and expedition, go and view the Falls of Bruar,
+immortalised in one of Burns's cleverest poems. No sooner had we set off
+than the driver began to calumniate Burns in unmeasured language, and to
+throw withering scorn on the Falls, which, he declared,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_274" id="Page_274">{274}</a></span> were utterly
+unworthy of being visited by any sane man. "If you want to see real
+falls," said he, "I'll take you to the Falls of Tummel, which could
+knock those of Bruar into a cocked hat!" (such was the curious metaphor
+he employed). I told him he could take me to both if there was time, but
+Bruar I must see. He landed me at the Tummel, and drove on recklessly
+himself a mile further to see his sweetheart. The desire to pay a visit
+to his Bonnie Jean was the sole cause of his gibes at the poet. Back he
+came in an hour, chanting merrily, and we drove to Bruar. I found the
+varlet had lied most expansively: the Falls are gloriously fine, and
+worth walking a good many miles to see. On the homeward road, I could
+see he was ill at ease: he was dreadfully afraid that his amorous flight
+would be discovered by his master. He said to me once every minute,
+"<i>Falls of Bruar, only, please: keep your thumb on Tummel!</i>" Latterly he
+set these words to a kind of rough music, and sang them continuously in
+my ear, winking the while and smiling roguishly. I obeyed him.</p>
+
+
+<h3>A BAD CASE OF NERVES.</h3>
+
+<p>While I was sitting alone in the smoking-room of the hotel, a tall,
+thin, restless-eyed, aristocratic young fellow came quietly in. He went
+up to the sideboard, poured out half a tumbler of water, and carefully
+measured out about ten drops of phospherine therein. He swallowed the
+mixture, smacked his lips, and sighed. He then remarked that it was a
+nice evening<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_275" id="Page_275">{275}</a></span> and that he was very ill with a nervous complaint. "I
+suppose, now," he said, "you would actually tell me not to worry, to
+take everything easy, and, above all, to firmly believe there is nothing
+whatever the matter with me?" "Most certainly," I said, "you ought to
+consider yourself in perfectly good health; by and by you would come to
+be so in reality. The Christian Scientists say you might even learn to
+hold fire in your hand by thinking of the frosty Caucasus." "I suppose,
+too, you would recommend me to have a hobby, such as golf, or gardening,
+or amateur photography." "Yes, I believe a harmless hobby such as you
+mention would relieve the mental strain and take you out of yourself."
+"Well, I essayed golf, but, alas! I massacred a ram; I tried gardening,
+and tired of it before the flowers began to show; and as to photography,
+it only increased the number of my enemies." "What about cycling or
+horse-riding?" "These won't do&mdash;I can <i>think</i> at both of them. Now, I
+<i>don't want to think: in fact, I mustn't</i>." "Fishing? wouldn't that be a
+reposeful diversion?" "No, no," he said, "I could not stand the sight of
+an animal enduring pain." "Well, you surely might try a little light
+reading." "The strange thing about my reading is this," said he, "I look
+at a sentence and understand it, but I am aware of something, either at
+the back of my head or behind me, which says, 'All this is futile stuff
+and nonsense: give it up, it's not for you; you are condemned to
+everlasting emptiness, and your life will never know any more fulness or
+joy.'<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_276" id="Page_276">{276}</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Immense vacuity of intellect!<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">I lift a volume, but a sentence tires;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Even a flimsy magazine requires<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">From me more concentration and direct<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Volition than my vagrant wits elect<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To give the pages. All my soul desires<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Is to gaze without purpose on the fire's<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Crackle of glowing cinders, and detect<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Weird shapes of beasts and palaces and men<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">In the red mass of photographic coal;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Perchance my lazy mind may, now and then,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Without exertion, read as on a scroll<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">(While the glede sinks to ashes in the grate)<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The dust and nothingness of mortal state."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>"Well," I said, "your case is a queer one, and I am at a loss to suggest
+anything further." At this, the young man burst into a loud peal of
+laughter. He was supremely delighted at finding himself so unique, so
+singular. He took me by the hand, shook it most heartily, saying, "I
+haven't enjoyed myself so much for a long time. If I were oftener in the
+company of men like you, I might regain hope."</p>
+
+<p>The improvement was, unfortunately, of very short duration. He continued
+his observations thus:</p>
+
+<p>"And yet, and yet: <i>Sunt lacrimae rerum</i>. What is this world but a
+succession of fleeting images chasing each other across a background of
+joy or pain! Now we quaff the sour cup of misery, by and by we drink the
+intoxicating vintage of hope. Heaven alone stands firm, gemmed with the
+pitiless stars. The day breaks,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_277" id="Page_277">{277}</a></span> rises to its glory in the shimmering
+height of noon, and dies away in the west: so does the utmost pride of
+man's career fade away to nothing, a harvest for Time's scythe. On all
+this growth and decay the stars gaze with their unpitying and eternal
+eyes. I think I'll have a little more phospherine."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_278" id="Page_278">{278}</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VII" id="CHAPTER_VII"></a>CHAPTER VII.<br />
+<br />
+<span style="font-size: 75%;">LEGENDS AND LITERARY NOTABILIA.</span></h2>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>Gairloch folk-lore: Prince Olaf and his bride&mdash;A laird who had
+seen a fairy&mdash;Tales from Loch Broom: The dance of death&mdash;The
+Kildonan midwife&mdash;The magic herring&mdash;Taisch&mdash;Antiquities of
+Dunvegan&mdash;Miscellaneous terrors&mdash;St. Kilda&mdash;Lady
+Grange&mdash;Pierless Tiree&mdash;Lochbuie in Mull&mdash;Inveraray Castle&mdash;The
+sacred isle&mdash;Appin&mdash;Macdonald's gratitude&mdash;Notes on the
+Trossachs&mdash;Lochfyneside: Macivors, Macvicars, and
+Macallisters&mdash;Red Hector&mdash;Macphail of Colonsay&mdash;Tales from
+Speyside: Tom Eunan!&mdash;Shaws and Grants&mdash;The wishing well&mdash;Ossian
+and Macpherson&mdash;At the foot o' Bennachie&mdash;Harlaw&mdash;Lochaber
+reivers&mdash;Reay and Twickenham&mdash;Rob Donn&mdash;Rev. Mr. Mill of
+Dunrossness.</p></div>
+
+
+<h3>GAIRLOCH FOLK-LORE.</h3>
+
+<p>I do not think anyone interested in local history and antiquities could
+find a greater treat than that furnished by Mr. Dixon's <i>Account of the
+Parish of Gairloch</i>. That romantic and lovely district is fortunate in
+having found a historian of unlimited enthusiasm and untiring industry.
+There is not a single dry page in his long and detailed narrative. Many
+of the legends he tells are known to me from other sources, but I am
+certain that no Scotch compiler (Mr. Dixon, let me say, is English) has
+written of them with such enjoyable sympathy and poetical ardour. I have
+been assured by local authorities that the facts adduced by Mr. Dixon<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_279" id="Page_279">{279}</a></span>
+are invariably reliable. That I can well believe; but what is still more
+rare, Mr. Dixon's facts are everywhere made to gleam and glitter in the
+radiance of romance. Let me narrate, in concentrated form, one of the
+legends which this clever writer has alluded to in more than one of his
+chapters.</p>
+
+
+<h4>PRINCE OLAF AND HIS BRIDE.</h4>
+
+<p>In the ninth century of the Christian era, one of the islands that in
+such picturesque fashion dot the surface of Loch Maree, was honoured by
+being the abode of a pious hermit, despatched thither from the sacred
+isle of Iona. His presence there, implying as it did austerity,
+perpetual worship of Heaven, and the reading of devout treatises,
+inspired veneration in the minds of the obstreperous tribes around. They
+felt themselves better from having such a good man near them. Wherever
+in these old times of war and gore, a saintly pioneer established
+himself, the kingdom of chaos and night was pushed back for miles around
+his cell.</p>
+
+<p>The Picts of the ninth century revered this man, and his fame was known
+also to the predatory seamen who came buccaneering among the islands of
+the West. A Viking of royal blood, Prince Olaf, in the intervals of his
+sea-roving, hied sometimes to the hermit's retreat, for instruction and
+spiritual blessing. The young man, as tradition alleges, was not beyond
+the need of guidance, for his temper was of the most fiery violence,
+and, at the slightest provocation, his hand was on the hilt of his
+sword. No doubt the saint of Isle Maree managed to moderate the Prince's
+vehemence, and draw<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_280" id="Page_280">{280}</a></span> him somewhat away from wrath which (as Homer puts
+it), waxeth like smoke in the breasts of warriors, and is far sweeter to
+them than trickling honey.</p>
+
+<p>By and by, this youth fell in love, and in characteristic fashion he
+loved with a whole-souled and overwhelming passion. The hot-tempered
+Viking became a new man, and he thus communed with himself: "How can I
+ask this maid to share my life on the stormy sea? She is too tender and
+gentle to go under the dark clouds in a war-galley with me and my rude
+mates, when we sail to meet the enemy. Nor, were she my wife, could I
+leave her behind and unprotected. Marry her I must, but I can neither
+take her with me thereafter, nor defend her in my absence. Go to, I'll
+e'en visit the monk of Isle Maree and get counsel from <i>him</i>."</p>
+
+<p>It is pleasant to note that the holy father found a way out of the
+difficulty. "Marry her, my son," said he, "and build a tower of strength
+as her abode on this isle of mine. When you are away, she will be near
+me. Old man as I am, the natives respect me for my devotion and my hoary
+hairs." The prince's scruples, so honourable to his love, were overcome.
+The marriage was celebrated with great pomp and rejoicing. The green
+pathways of the isle were thronged with feasters; tents were erected
+beside the thickets of oak and holly, and the Loch had little rest from
+the plashing of oars. The hermit blessed the couple and blessed the
+castle too in which the twain were for a time to reside.</p>
+
+<p>Prince Olaf and his lady were perfectly happy, and the golden hours of
+their wedlock sped merrily by.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_281" id="Page_281">{281}</a></span> But the hours that were short to them,
+were long and dreary to the Norse rovers, lying inactive in the ships
+anchored hard by in the waters of Loch Ewe. Murmurs, growing at length
+in volume, were muttered by the men as they reflected, day by day, on
+the soft uxoriousness of their leader. They wished to be at sea on an
+expedition that had been planned aforetime ere the marriage had taken
+place. These murmurs reached the prince's ears, and, with many tears, he
+tore himself away from the bridal tower to take his place at the head of
+the squadron. It was a bitter severance, but tempered by the expectation
+of a speedy reunion. The prince took with him two pennons, a black and a
+white. "If I am successful in my expedition," he said, "I will display
+the white pennon on my galley; if misfortune befalls me (which God
+avert) the black will be flying on the prow. Do you come to meet my
+returning fleet and let a similar indication be visible on your barge to
+tell of your safety or your misfortune. A lover feels his excitement
+growing, the nearer he comes to his home: let us abridge, by such a
+device, the length of our anxiety."</p>
+
+<p>Love did not make Olaf a worse fighter: rather, indeed, it improved his
+prowess. The thought of the fair young wife in the lonely tower,
+protected mainly by the sanctity of an old hermit, nerved his arm, and
+he speedily got through the expedition with great applause. He swept
+everything before him, and turned homeward in the expectation of a
+cordial and meet welcome. During his absence, the lady had been
+fretting. Finally, as the days passed, she became downright<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_282" id="Page_282">{282}</a></span> angry. "He
+is neglecting me," she cried; "he goes away from my arms to the society
+of rough seamen. I am a mere bauble, a plaything for his leisure. He is
+tired of me, and perhaps on some distant coast he is dallying with a
+newer sweetheart. But I will try his heart. When I hear of his
+homecoming, I will go forth on my barge and have the black flag of
+desolation flying from the prow. In this way I may obtain some hint of
+his real feelings."</p>
+
+<p>Olaf came homeward in great glee, and on entering Loch Ewe from the
+outer sea, the white pennon of success flapped gaily in the wind. The
+princess, on the other hand, let prepare her boat, and, clothed in the
+weeds of death, lay down on the deck, while simulated sobs of woe and
+lamentation were raised by all her attendants. Slowly the boat, with its
+ill-omened signal, moved to meet the conquering hero. Olaf, the
+impetuous, was chilled to the heart, when he saw what he thought the
+sure indication of his lady's misfortune. What a sight met his eyes when
+he leapt on board! The princess stretched out in apparent death, and
+robed in the garments of the grave! He could not endure the torment and
+disillusion. He drove a dirk into his bosom with such passionate might
+that he fell down, bereft of life, mighty and mightily fallen, on the
+deck beside her.</p>
+
+<p>She had not expected such a tragic conclusion to her blamable artifice.
+Remorse, of course, got hold of her, and drawing the gory weapon from
+her dead lord's breast, she plunged it into her own. Too late was she
+convinced of his true love for her: she had only one<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_283" id="Page_283">{283}</a></span> duty, and that was
+to die with him. It is said in the legend that her life was not extinct
+when the barge, with its weird freight, returned to the hermit's isle.
+The old man, holding in his quaking hand the cross before her dying
+eyes, strove to comfort her somewhat as her blood ebbed quickly away.</p>
+
+<p>"The bodies of the unhappy pair," says Mr. Dixon, "were buried within
+the inclosure on the island, beneath the shade of the sacred hollies;
+they were laid with their feet towards each other, and smooth stones
+with outlines of mediæval crosses were placed over the graves, and there
+they remain to this day. A few stones still indicate the site of the
+hermit's cell, and a considerable mound marks where the tower stood."</p>
+
+<p>The last time I stood beside the little pier on Loch Maree, I noticed
+many indications of the advent of southern tourists. Empty bottles were
+floating on the waves, and the tiny steamer that plies on the loch was
+getting ready for the summer traffic. Visitors from the Lowlands do not
+suspect that such tales as I have narrated still live on the lips of the
+Gairloch natives, and help to pass the hours at many an evening reunion.
+How the centuries meet in such nooks of Ross! Steamers on Loch Maree,
+and Olaf's cross still standing on the hermit's isle! The driver of the
+mail-coach from Achnasheen to Gairloch will discuss creeds and schisms
+with you, and tell you he does not believe in modern religious
+developments at all; anon, as the coach passes the Gairloch Church, he
+will point with extended whip to a grassy hollow on the left, and say:
+"That is where the Free Church used to have its open-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_284" id="Page_284">{284}</a></span>air Communion
+Service: the place is called <i>Leabaidh na Ba Bhàine</i>, because Fingal
+scooped it out as a bed where his white cow might calve." "But did
+Fingal lodge in this neighbourhood?" you ask. "Oh yes, he did whatever,"
+the driver will reply, "and the best proof of it is, that if you go to
+the north end of Loch Maree, you will see the <i>sweetheart's
+stepping-stones</i>, placed there by Fingal to keep his feet dry when he
+went that way to court Malvina."</p>
+
+
+<h4>A LAIRD WHO HAD SEEN A FAIRY.</h4>
+
+<p>Bailie Nicol Jarvie, whom we all know so well, confessed that when he
+heard the wild stories of the North, he felt his blood tingle and his
+pulses leap. This fact, which as a sober man of business he felt bound
+to apologize for, was probably due to heredity, his mother having been a
+Macgregor. The Bailie lived at a time when rumours of witchcraft and
+fairydom were more common than now, and when there was less
+dissemination of Scripture truth. It is a saying in some parts of the
+North that the profuse spread of the Shorter Catechism has been the
+means of driving witches and fairies out of their old haunts. For my own
+part, I know of nothing more likely to make them decamp.<a name="FNanchor_28_28" id="FNanchor_28_28"></a><a href="#Footnote_28_28" class="fnanchor">[28]</a></p>
+
+<p>I was lucky enough to meet a gentleman who declared, not with an oath,
+but with a <i>pretty strong</i><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_285" id="Page_285">{285}</a></span> asseveration, that he had once seen a fairy.
+It was in a railway train that I knit conversation with him. He was a
+kilted country squire, tall, thin, and soulful: on his head was a
+glengarry with a pair of flying ribbons. He spoke in rapt sentences, as
+if he were looking on a vision. This is the substance of his remarks:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">One autumn morning, when the world lay fair<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Under the radiant blue, I musing lay<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">By a green knoll, beside a rippling bay,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">When, suddenly, gliding through the silent air,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A green-clad apparition, wrinkled, spare,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Angry, and grieving, passed along the way<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Before me for a moment's space. The fay<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Was old and did not see me lying there.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">I grieved to see her sob in fretful mood,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And often since I marvel in my mind<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">What grievous heart-pang drove her from the wood<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To ease her heart away from her own kind.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Strange, that these tiny, soulless beings should,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Like us, be grieved and be with passion blind!<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>These are the words of a man who speaks with conviction. I ought to
+mention that, ecclesiastically (and I hope in other ways, too,) he was a
+Moderate. Two things annoyed him greatly: (1) that the fairy did not
+deign to look at him; (2) that nobody but his little grand-daughter of
+eight would believe he had seen a fairy at all. "Why," he said, "I could
+draw that fairy now, if I had pencil and paper. I see her as plain as I
+see you. <i>Her little bosom was heaving, and she wore a necklace of
+twisted corn-stalks. I am sorry I did not offer her some refreshment.</i>"<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_286" id="Page_286">{286}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h3>TALES FROM LOCH BROOM.</h3>
+
+<p>The enquirer will find a specially abundant crop of old stories if he
+stays long on Loch Broom side. The bard of Ullapool, Mr. Roderick
+Mackenzie, has made an excellent collection of romantic incidents
+associated with the neighbourhood, and has told them in a very quaint
+and effective fashion. From his collection I now cite a specimen or two.
+I by no means recommend them as reading for the small hours of the
+morning.</p>
+
+
+<h4>THE DANCE OF DEATH.</h4>
+
+<p>Three young fellows belonging to Strathmore, in the parish of Loch
+Broom, were returning from the Low Country, where they had been living
+for some time. It was long before the days of Watt and Macadam; roads
+were not good, progress was slow, and rain was frequent. When they, in
+the final lap of their journey, arrived at the green hillside of
+Lochdrom, the weather was extremely inclement. Seeing a commodious
+shieling on the braeface, the young men entered, and one of them, with
+the object of driving dull care away, struck up a lightsome tune on his
+pipes. His two comrades at once began to fling their legs about and
+caper merrily. Soon, having succeeded in dancing themselves dry, they
+all agreed that female partners would be a great acquisition. The wish
+was at once gratified. Three women mysteriously glided into the
+shieling, and the dancing began in earnest. One of the women stood close
+by the piper, while the other two skipped about, with their partners,
+all round the building. Outside it thundered and lightened in terrific
+fashion. Tired and sweating,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_287" id="Page_287">{287}</a></span> the two couples were at length fain to
+stop, and they sat down to rest on seats of turf and heather. The piper
+stopped too: he felt some malign influence coming over him; he was
+certain some devilish deed was a-doing. Stealing a glance at his two
+friends, he perceived that they were both stark dead, and that the two
+infernal huzzies were smiling a hideous smile of triumph. Action, he
+felt, was immediately necessary: he flung the still groaning bagpipes
+full in the face of the witch near him, stunned her thus for an instant,
+and with one wild leap cleared the threshold. And now began a hot race
+and hot pursuit. Like another Tam o' Shanter, but without the mare, the
+piper sped over the moor and through the rain, plying a foot as good as
+wings. Not till they came in sight of the clachan of Fasagrianach, did
+the witches relinquish the chase. The exhausted piper had a sad tale to
+tell to the mothers of his two hapless friends. Next day a company of
+mourners went to the scene of the infernal dance, and, amid much
+mourning, they sang a weird wail with the sad refrain, <i>Airidh mo
+Dhubhaich</i>, which, being interpreted, means "Shieling of my Sorrow."</p>
+
+<p>Let me give another tale, but of less sombre issue, culled from the
+folk-lore of the same locality.</p>
+
+
+<h4>THE KILDONAN MIDWIFE.</h4>
+
+<p>A woman living at Kildonan, on the north shore of Little Loch Broom, and
+exercising the useful profession of howdie, or midwife, had been
+summoned to attend a case at Keppoch. She did not arrive at her
+destination, although she left home after telling her neighbours<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_288" id="Page_288">{288}</a></span> where
+she was going. It was on Christmas eve that Fair Sarah, as she was
+called, left Kildonan, and for the space of an entire year, not a word,
+good or bad, was heard of her. Search parties were organized, but all to
+no purpose. Exactly twelve months after her disappearance&mdash;the next
+Christmas eve, namely&mdash;back came the errant midwife to her home, not a
+hair the worse for her long absence. She was immensely astonished to
+find she had been so long away, her own impression being that only an
+hour or two had elapsed. It was evident to all the natives of Kildonan
+that Fair Sarah had been among the fairies, in whose company, as every
+one knows, months and years slip past as quickly as hours and days.
+Sarah was asked to speak out and tell her experiences. "It seems to me,"
+said the flustered howdie, "that it was but last night that I left for
+Keppoch. Just as I passed the White Knoll, between Strathmore and
+Strathbeg, I came upon a company of little folk, who would have me with
+them, right reason or none. I accepted their hospitality, and what
+drinking, skipping, revelry, and glee my eyes beheld! At last I grew
+sick of their cantrips and capers. Remembering I was a Christian and a
+communicant, <i>I blessed myself in the name of the Glorious Trinity</i>,
+with the result that I was unceremoniously bundled out of the place."</p>
+
+<p>The White Knoll had long had the repute of harbouring fairies; Sarah's
+experiences put the matter beyond all doubt. That worthy female
+continued to ply her vocation for many years after, with unvarying<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_289" id="Page_289">{289}</a></span>
+dexterity and signal success. She was certainly a more prosperous woman
+after her year's excursion into Fairy-land.</p>
+
+
+<h4>THE MAGIC HERRING.</h4>
+
+<p>There is an interesting legend told of the device by which shoals of
+herring were first induced to come into Loch Broom.</p>
+
+<p>It seems that long ago (the precise date is unessential) the lochs round
+the island of Lewis were invariably, at the herring season, visited by
+magnificent shoals of fish, while not a tail was ever seen to twinkle in
+the spacious waters of Loch Broom. Abundance on one side of the Minch,
+destitution (for no earthly or apparent reason) on the other! After
+mature consideration, the dwellers by Loch Broom came to the conclusion
+that the anomaly could only be explained by the malignant operation of
+the Lews witches. Query: How best neutralise the spells of these partial
+harridans? A remedy, both unique and effective, was at length devised. A
+silver herring was made and given into the hands of a sturdy crew, who
+set sail with it over the water to Lewis. On arriving there, the men
+partook of an adequate amount of refreshment, let down the silver fish
+(attached to a cord) among the jostling shoals in one of the lochs, and
+then, with the metallic animal trailing in the sea behind them, they
+turned the prow of the boat in the direction of home. The ruse was
+successful beyond all belief: glimmering clouds of phosphorence followed
+through the seas below in the wake of the boat and its silver lure.
+Under the stars of night, in all the rapture of excitement and success,
+the Loch Broom fishers led the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_290" id="Page_290">{290}</a></span> droves of herring right up to the
+farthest reach of their loch. The metallic herring was then allowed to
+sink to the bottom: there it remains, and so long as it is there, an
+abundant harvest of the deep will be the portion of the resourceful
+toilers of these shores. Perhaps I ought to mention that the famous boat
+which did the feat was painted black on one side and red on the other. I
+am not sufficiently versed in the niceties of <i>grammarye</i> to be able to
+render a reason for this piebald device.</p>
+
+<p>Of late years, as I have been told, the prosperity of Ullapool is not as
+high as it was. Can it be that the Lews witches are at their old tricks
+again? Or has the silver herring been borne, by the wash of retreating
+surges, out into the Hebridean deep. Every visitor who walks through the
+sea-facing, white-washed little town, must be struck by the silence of
+the streets and the utter lack of business animation.</p>
+
+
+<h3>TAISCH.</h3>
+
+<p>The most interesting place in the island of Skye is, beyond question,
+the neighbourhood of Dunvegan. It was of surly, superstitious,
+loyal-hearted Samuel Johnson that I chiefly thought when I leapt out of
+the trap that landed me at the Hotel of Dunvegan, for I had just been
+reading his famous <i>Journey</i>, with its diverting remarks on
+second-sight. It would not, I confess, have surprised me over much, in
+my tired and wind-beaten condition, to see the Doctor and the Auchinleck
+laird, walking arm in arm along the road. I should have put it down to a
+kind of inverted <i>taisch</i>, certainly to nothing stronger.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_291" id="Page_291">{291}</a></span></p>
+
+<p>It may surprise many southerners to know that the belief in <i>taisch</i> is
+not by any means extinct. I have met educated Skyemen who firmly
+believed in the mysterious visual gifts of the seventh son of a seventh
+son. In old days, the Highlanders were wont to attribute the gift to
+none but those of an austere and devout cast, who, living a solitary
+life in the eye of nature, were thought to be specially prepared for
+receiving supernatural impressions. I am afraid the vast majority of
+<i>taisch</i> tales are dreadful nonsense. Mr. MacCulloch, in his recent work
+on Skye, has usefully summarized the various types of second-sight as
+expounded by the very credulous Macleod of Hamera: (1) The seer is aware
+of a phantom winding-sheet enwrapping the doomed person; (2) he may see
+the corpse of some one still in life; (3) he may behold a drowning or
+accidental death; (4) he may hear noises as of a coffin being hammered;
+(5) he may see a living person dwindle to the size of a child, and anon
+expand to normal bulk. As Johnson remarks, many of the seers declared
+themselves poignantly afflicted by what they saw. Aubrey tells of a
+clairvoyant who asked the presbytery to pray that the gift (or curse)
+might be taken away. Instant prayer removed the obsession.</p>
+
+<p>The extraordinary futility and droll language of the sentences uttered
+by some of the seers are very mirth-provoking. Here are one or two
+prophecies of the Brahan Seer:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"The heir of the Mackenzies will take<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A white rook out of the wood,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And will take a wife from a music-house<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">With his people against him.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_292" id="Page_292">{292}</a></span><br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And the heir will be great<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">In deeds, and as an orator,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">When the Pope in Rome<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Will be cast off his throne,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Over opposite Creagh-a'-chon<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Will dwell a little lean tailor," etc.<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>The following is excellent: "<i>When the big-thumbed sheriff-officer and
+the blind man of the twenty-four fingers shall be together in Barra,
+Macneill may be making ready for the flitting.</i>" It is said that the
+same seer prophesied thus of the Strathpeffer wells: "The day will come
+when this disagreeable spring, with thick-crusted surface and unpleasant
+smell, shall be put under lock and key, so great will be the crowd of
+people pressing to drink the waters."</p>
+
+<p>Belief in clairvoyance and prophecy was quite common among the Lowland
+Covenanters; and I believe <i>Peden's Prophecies</i> may still be found among
+the lumber of the book-shops. An old lady, in Irvine, once repeated to
+me the following couplet, as having been uttered by Peden:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Between Segton and the sea<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A bloody battle there shall be."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>Now, as Segton is the old name for Kilwinning, it would seem that the
+locale of the battle (probably, as the lady, indeed, thought, the battle
+of Armageddon) will be <i>in the immediate neighbourhood of the site at
+present occupied by Nobell's Dynamite Factory</i>.</p>
+
+
+<h3>ANTIQUITIES OF DUNVEGAN.</h3>
+
+<p><i>Taisch</i> has taken me a long way from Dunvegan, of which I meant to say
+something. No souvenir is to me<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_293" id="Page_293">{293}</a></span> more delicious than that of some days
+spent there, on one of which I visited the fine old castle of the
+Macleods, stablished on its rocks, and filled with romance from base to
+topmost turret. On the landward side are lawns, flowers, and abundance
+of eye-gladdening leafage, while, seaward, there is the unspeakable
+glory of isle-dotted loch and distant sea. By the kindness of Macleod of
+Macleod (you must not call that grand and most genial gentleman by any
+more garish title: he is <i>the</i> Macleod; he typifies the clan&mdash;that is
+his highest glory), I visited the delightful old castle and saw every
+room, relic, and dirk of importance. What gave me the most pleasure was
+the illuminating commentary of Macleod himself and of his charming
+daughters. One cannot hear the history of some of the rooms without a
+feeling of terror. In the drawing-room of the castle (the room now used
+for prayers, and well it may be,) a horrible outrage was planned to take
+place by Black Ian, a usurping chief. The atrocious deed happened in the
+middle of the sixteenth century, and was due to Ian's fear that the
+Campbells, who had landed with a large force in Skye, would expel him
+from Dunvegan castle. Ian, pretending that he wished to discuss terms,
+invited eleven of the leading Campbells to a banquet. At table, Macleods
+and Campbells were seated side by side; and, at a given signal, which
+consisted in placing a cup of blood in front of each guest, all the
+Campbells were simultaneously stabbed to death, each Macleod
+exterminating his man. I was glad to get out of that drawing-room.</p>
+
+<p>The main relics in the castle are: (1) The Fairy<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_294" id="Page_294">{294}</a></span> Flag; (2) Rory Mor's
+Drinking-horn; and (3) the Dunvegan Cup.</p>
+
+<p>It is not as well known as it should be that one of the mediæval chiefs
+of the Macleods married a fairy. This dainty little woman presented her
+lord with a yellow silk flag, dotted here and there with red spots. The
+virtue of the flag, she told him, resided in its efficacy to save the
+chief of the Macleods on three different occasions. After the third
+employment of the flag, it would flutter away to fairy-land. The flag
+has twice saved a chief out of a particularly awkward predicament, and
+it is still in Dunvegan, though sadly grimed and rent. The present
+chief, who has served his country nobly, is quite fit, in soldierly
+fashion, to grapple single-handed with any difficulty he may encounter;
+but he is in hopes that the flag may yield its residual virtue to the
+contentment of some one or other of his successors.</p>
+
+<p>Rory Mor's drinking-horn, which could contain, I should think, between
+two and three bottles of wine, is an interesting indication of
+pre-Reformation thirst. Of old, each chief as he came of age, was
+expected to drink off its contents at one draught as a proof that he had
+arrived at years of discretion.</p>
+
+<p>The cup is made of dark wood, and is finely adorned with silver work. It
+is dated 1493, and contains a Latin inscription.</p>
+
+<p>The Fairy Tower in Dunvegan Castle contains the room in which Dr.
+Johnson and Sir Walter Scott slept during their respective visits to the
+castle. The burly lexicographer would have little wind left for
+argument<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_295" id="Page_295">{295}</a></span> after he had toiled up the steep and narrow spiral stairway
+leading to the room. Formerly, so the smiling chief told me, the young
+lady chosen by the Macleod to be his wife, had to pass a night alone in
+this haunted chamber, in order that the fairies might have an
+opportunity of seeing her, and formally approving the choice.</p>
+
+
+<h3>MISCELLANEOUS TERRORS.</h3>
+
+<p>He who investigates Celtic demonology will hear a good deal about a
+gruesome and insidious animal called the <i>Water Horse</i>. This fell beast,
+though able at need to transform itself into the shape of a human being,
+is normally like a horse, though much bulkier and fiercer. Its usual
+abode is in the deep lochs, but it may occasionally be seen, with wreck
+or sea-weed clinging to its hoof or mane, feeding on the hill-side among
+earthly horses. The detestable feature about the brute is its fondness
+for human beings. There is no hope for any man, woman, or child, who
+gets upon its back: at a furious gallop, the animal bounds off by the
+nearest road to the loch, and leaps under the waves to devour its prey.
+Foals of a specially vicious turn are believed to have this brute for
+their sire: in some such way the furious nature of the horse called
+"Kelpy" in George Macdonald's story might be explained.</p>
+
+<p>Certain lochs in Skye are believed to harbour a variant terror, the
+water-bull. Loch Morar, on the mainland, contains a huge mystic bogie,
+undefined in shape, but of terrible malignity. I have heard too, in
+Uist, of a phantom dog, with eyes of glede and unearthly bark, that
+frequents the entrance to the old<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_296" id="Page_296">{296}</a></span> wayside burying-ground. No driver,
+unless fortified by several glasses, will drive you that way after dark.</p>
+
+<p>"Duncan," said a commercial traveller to a driver, "I'll have to go to
+Gruiginish farm to-night. Have everything ready at 8.30."</p>
+
+<p>"I can't do that, Mr. Smith; it'll be dark."</p>
+
+<p>"But you have lamps, Duncan."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, yes, but I can't go. You have to pass the old cemetery."</p>
+
+<p>"I know that, but I must attend to my business. What ails you at the
+cemetery?"</p>
+
+<p>"There's the dog at the gate, the dog with the eyes of burning coal.
+What is he doing there? And the wee man inside, <i>What is he doing
+there?</i>"</p>
+
+<p>"I don't know what he's doing, but to Gruiginish this night I must go.
+Do you think a glass of <i>forked lightning</i> would do you any good?"</p>
+
+<p>"Well, it might help."</p>
+
+<p>In spite of more than one glass of forked lightning, poor Duncan was in
+a terrible state of excitement when the cemetery was approached. He kept
+his head averted, and clutched the reins so nervously that the vehicle
+was in imminent danger of being upset.</p>
+
+<p>It is a beautiful saying of Goldsmith that innocently to amuse the
+imagination in this dream of life is wisdom. Judged by this standard,
+the imaginative operations taking place in Duncan's brain, considering
+their effect on his happiness, cannot be pronounced either innocent or
+wise. To add ideal terrors to the prosaic hardships of a place like Uist
+is the very height of folly. And yet it is precisely in such bare and
+rough<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_297" id="Page_297">{297}</a></span> regions where man has to fight with nature as with a constant
+foe, that the unseen powers are believed to be most terrible. The
+<i>lutin</i> of the smiling land of France is a mere capering trickster, and
+the "lubber fiend" of Milton's poem is pictured as an unpaid adjunct of
+the dairy. Duncan's "wee man up on the hill-side" is a permanent and
+unspeakable horror of the night. "<i>What is he doing there?</i>"<a name="FNanchor_29_29" id="FNanchor_29_29"></a><a href="#Footnote_29_29" class="fnanchor">[29]</a></p>
+
+
+<h3>ST. KILDA.</h3>
+
+<p>St. Kilda, the lonely and precipitous island, forty miles west of Lewis,
+which Boswell at one time thought of buying, has now, like so many other
+islands of the West, a well-furnished library from Paisley. I hope the
+minister of the place encourages the reading of the books, and does
+everything in his power to broaden the religious views of the people by
+healthy secular literature. A luckless inspector of schools crossed over
+once to examine the school of this island. His boat arrived late on
+Saturday, and was to leave again early on Monday. To suit his own
+convenience, the greatly-daring official proposed to examine the
+scholars on<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_298" id="Page_298">{298}</a></span> Sunday. Never was their such indignation among the
+islanders. What! examine the school on the first day of the week! Did
+the unhappy man wish the wrath of Heaven to fall in fire and brimstone
+on the island? The inspector was angrily hooted and denounced. Still, as
+he must needs return by his steamer, the islanders agreed to send their
+children immediately after Sunday was over, <i>i.e.</i>, <i>the bairns were
+assembled at midnight</i>, and parts of speech were bandied about then in
+the visible darkness of the tiny school.</p>
+
+<p>St. Kilda belongs to the Macleod, and every spring the factor goes over
+to collect the rents. All winter the island is isolated, and has no
+outer news save, perhaps, from some stray Aberdeen trawler. For twenty
+years the factor went over in a sailing-boat belonging to the chief, but
+by some mishap, in which no lives were lost, this boat was
+ill-man&oelig;uvred and, with sails full-set, was engulfed in a whirlpool.
+He now goes over in the steamer.</p>
+
+<p>The first question propounded to the factor is this: "<i>Has there been
+war anywhere, my dear?</i>" If the answer is "Yes," a great joy is visible
+on every face. "<i>That's good, that's good: tell us all about it.</i>"
+Having heard all about the war, the natives show an eagerness for
+sweets, of which they are inordinately fond.</p>
+
+<p>The natives are expert cragsmen, and much of their time is occupied in
+collecting birds' feathers. The oil of the solan goose is also a source
+of wealth. Rough tweeds are now woven in many of the houses. The factor
+informed me that, for some unknown reason, everything that comes from
+the island is impregnated<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_299" id="Page_299">{299}</a></span> with a heavy odour that is most disagreeable.
+Means have been tried to neutralise this smell, but success is only for
+a time: by and by the odour returns, as bad as ever, to fabric and
+feather. Merchants, both at home and abroad, are loath to purchase such
+unfragrant wares.</p>
+
+<p>In Dunvegan Castle are to be seen several of the little letter-boats
+employed by the St. Kildeans to convey news to Scotland in the winter
+months. The tide is watched, and the letter-boat cast into the sea.
+Usually the message is washed ashore on some part of the Long Island.
+Natural superstition supplements, in a small degree, the lack of mails:
+when the islanders, for example, hear <i>the notes of the cuckoo</i>, they
+are convinced that the Macleod is dead. Happily the cuckoo is rarely
+heard breaking the silence of the seas so far west.</p>
+
+
+<h3>LADY GRANGE.</h3>
+
+<p>To this day there are in the possession of the Macleod family certain
+old accounts of the years 1744 and 1745, that recall one of the most
+diabolical and continuous pieces of cruelty recorded in history. I refer
+to the accounts paid in these years to the Laird of Macleod for the
+board and burial of Lady Grange. No one who knows the history of that
+ill-fated lady can look at these time-stained documents without a
+knocking of the seated heart at the ribs.</p>
+
+<p>Everyone who has enjoyed the light and graceful poetry of Ovid, has
+sighed over the relegation of that city man to the barbarous horrors of
+the Black Sea. As Gibbon exquisitely phrases it: "The tender Ovid,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_300" id="Page_300">{300}</a></span>
+after a youth spent in the enjoyment of wealth and luxury, was condemned
+to a hopeless exile on the frozen banks of the Danube, where he was
+exposed without remorse to those fierce denizens of the desert with
+whose stern spirits he feared that his gentle shade might hereafter be
+confounded." The banishment of Lady Grange to St. Kilda, in 1734, by her
+rascally husband, is to me fully as pathetic as Ovid's expatriation to
+Tomi. She, a refined and beautiful woman, the light of Edinburgh
+drawing-rooms, was hustled off to a lonely rock and left remorselessly
+to pine there amid the squalls. Let me briefly summarise this affecting
+history.</p>
+
+<p>Lord Grange, a Scottish judge of strong Jacobite leanings, was known by
+his Lady to be concerned in a plot, along with Lovat, Mar, and others,
+to bring back the Pretender. This was in the year 1730. Stung in her
+wifely pride by her husband's ill-treatment and licentiousness, she
+openly threatened to expose his treason. To prevent such exposure,
+Grange caused his wife to be kidnapped and clandestinely conveyed first
+to a small island off North Uist, and subsequently to St. Kilda. In the
+latter island, no one could speak any English except the catechist, and
+here for seven years this polished society dame lived amid the blasts
+and the screaming ocean-fowl, lacking even the privilege, which Ovid
+enjoyed, of sending letters to child or friend. In 1741, when the
+catechist left the island, she made him bearer of letters to her
+law-agent, Hope of Rankeillor. Hope fitted out a sloop, with twenty-five
+armed men on board, and set out for St. Kilda to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_301" id="Page_301">{301}</a></span> rescue the lady.
+Macleod, who was, of course, privy to her detention, at once removed her
+to Skye, and Hope's expedition came to nothing. The poor woman, worn out
+with sorrow and suffering, died in 1745, a helpless imbecile!</p>
+
+<p>The story, which throws a lurid light on the savagery of the eighteenth
+century, and which, to my thinking, surpasses in pathos anything
+occurring in fiction, was long disbelieved. But it was only too true. It
+is said that ill-luck pursued the lady even after death, and that her
+funeral was a miserable parody. A coffin filled with stones and turf was
+interred, before a large crowd, in the churchyard of Duirinish, the real
+remains being, with maimed rites or none at all, secretly buried
+elsewhere.</p>
+
+<p>It is noteworthy that Lady Grange died in 1745, the year when Prince
+Charlie's hopes were shattered on Culloden Moor. Like her, he too had
+the ill-luck to be a hopeless wanderer in the Misty Isle.</p>
+
+
+<h3>PIERLESS TIREE.</h3>
+
+<p>I regret to say that I did not stay long enough in the island of Tiree
+to add to my store of legends, and yet, I went there with a capacious
+note-book and excellent intentions. What is more, I read from beginning
+to end, Dr. Erskine Beveridge's detailed book on the island, and could
+have passed an examination on semi-brochs, rock-forts, marsh duns,
+islet-forts, sandhill dwellings, and prehistoric burial-sites. I steeped
+myself so thoroughly in the <i>minutiae</i> of pre-Reformation churches, that
+I almost forgot to go to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_302" id="Page_302">{302}</a></span> the modern ones. Tiree took hold of me
+completely, and so did the Norse invaders of the Hebrides&mdash;men like
+Ketil Flatnose, Magnus Barelegs, Hako, and Somerled. I got a pocket map
+arranged for my own use (copied from Dr. Beveridge's large one) with a
+red cross at all the sites of ancient forts. It was my fond hope, for
+pride attends us still, that I might find some inaccuracy in Dr.
+Beveridge's book, and, from measurements on the spot, be able to
+contradict some of his statements. But what are the hopes of man! I did
+not know that predestination, in the form of dirty weather, was working
+against me, and was about to quench all my interest in <i>duns</i>. On
+September 5th, 1907, I determined to take Dr. Beveridge's measurements
+for granted.</p>
+
+<p>On that day, in fact, I was for some time under the impression that my
+last lecture had been delivered. It was on the way between Coll and
+Tiree. The gale was a furious one and, combined with the greasy odours
+of the <i>Fingal</i>, was enough to sicken a practised seafarer. I did notice
+that some of the crew were prostrated, so that there was some excuse for
+a landsman not being proof against Neptune's dandling. So low, exposed,
+and precarious is the shore at Scarinish, that, often for weeks, the
+ferrymen dare not venture out to the steamer for passengers. I asked one
+of the <i>Fingal</i> men if there was any chance of being landed. He was a
+cruel cynic, and said: "No, not to-day. The sea is too wild for the
+ferry to come out. We'll go right across to Bunessan in Mull, so prepare
+for three more hours' shaking. You won't forget the <i>Dutchman's Cap</i>
+for<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_303" id="Page_303">{303}</a></span> the rest of your life." Then with a remark addressed to the
+Creator, he added: "<i>There's the ferryboat after all; she's racing over
+the water like a stag.</i>"</p>
+
+<p>He was right: the lugsail was careering out to us and came alongside at
+length, and, after fearful trouble, got fastened to the <i>Fingal</i>.
+Sometimes the ferryboat was even with our deck, sometimes far above it,
+sometimes fifteen feet below. It looked like certain death to leap into
+that lugsail.</p>
+
+<p>I hesitated, and shouted to the captain: "Is it safe to jump?"</p>
+
+<p>He replied, "I wish to Tophet I had the chance."</p>
+
+<p>I watched for the next opportunity of the ferryboat and the <i>Fingal</i>
+being approximately on the same plane, and leaped into the arms of a
+boatman.</p>
+
+<p>Other passengers followed,&mdash;men, women, even babies. Then came the
+mails; and finally, live stock. I remember being struck on the mouth by
+a sheep heaved into the boat by the above-mentioned cynic. "Come, come,
+that's enough, keep the rest; let us be off," shouted a boatman.
+Everybody was wet to the skin: the wind was howling; the women weeping;
+and the babies were mixed up with the sheep.</p>
+
+<p>Once clear of the <i>Fingal</i>, the adroit ferrymen did their duty well, and
+in less than ten minutes we were all landed. A crowd of islanders were
+waiting to lift us out. All agreed that it had been a <i>close shave</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Such was my introduction to <i>Pierless Tiree</i>.</p>
+
+<p>I did not stay long enough in the island to measure brochs, but quite
+long enough to experience the good-will and kindliness of the natives.
+The houses are<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_304" id="Page_304">{304}</a></span> solid and substantial, the inhabitants strong and
+muscular. Great gales from the Atlantic blow almost continually, sweep
+up the sand in clouds, and prevent any trees from taking root. I did not
+see much poverty with my own eyes, but the ministers all assured me
+there was a great deal. Maize, more than oatmeal, is the cereal used for
+porridge. For supplementary information, Dr. Beveridge's admirable and
+accurate work may be consulted.</p>
+
+
+<h3>LOCHBUIE IN MULL.</h3>
+
+<p>The great straggling island of Mull, so full of scenery, romance, and
+song, still awaits its historian. Few, who have ever visited the noble
+isle, will refuse to say with Macphail, the bard of Torosay:</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"O the island of Mull is an isle of delight<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">With the wave on the shore and the sun on the height,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And the breeze on the hills and the blast on the Bens,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And the old green woods and the old grassy glens."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>The gem of the island is undoubtedly the haven of Lochbuie, one of the
+choicest nooks in insular Scotland. The modern mansion, which is but a
+step or two from the well-preserved castle of olden times, is quite near
+the shore, and looks straight south over the Atlantic to the island of
+Colonsay. The entire surroundings are a delight to the eye: great
+towering mountains behind, the sea in front, and in the space between,
+green lawns, rocks, gorse, and many-tinted garden-plots.</p>
+
+<p>The MacLaines of Lochbuie trace their descent from the great Gillean of
+the Battle-axe, a redoubtable warrior who flourished his weapon to some
+purpose in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_305" id="Page_305">{305}</a></span> the reign of Alexander III. But the most notorious of all
+the MacLaines is <i>Ewen of the Little Head</i>, who died in battle, and
+thereafter assumed the rôle of family ghost. Before the death of any of
+his race, this phantom-warrior gallops along the sea-beach near the
+castle, announcing the event by cries and loud lamentations. The doctor,
+who attended the present chief's mother, declares that, while sitting
+beside her bed during the silent watches of the night, he heard the
+noise of the spectral horse just before the old lady's decease. The
+natives of Mull can describe the ghost and horse with accurate detail.
+The horse is a small, hardy, sure-footed animal of brown colour, and
+Ewen is known by the smallness of his head, and by a long floating
+mantle of green. He performed a weird and long-continued gallop round
+the bay in 1815, before the news of the valiant Sir Archibald MacLaine's
+death became known by official despatch from the seat of war.</p>
+
+<p>Lochbuie, like so many other places in Scotland, has its Piper's Cave.
+There is a remarkable similarity in all such tales&mdash;diversified,
+however, by quaint local additions. MacLaine's piper, a foolhardy man,
+determined once to test the allegation that a certain cave on Lochbuie
+was connected with another cave at Pennygown on the Sound of Mull.
+Attired in his official costume and having his dog at his heels, he
+entered the cave, blowing his pipes triumphantly. Those above, on the
+hills, were able to make out his line of passage by the sound of the
+music. At a certain point the pipes ceased, and nevermore did the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_306" id="Page_306">{306}</a></span> piper
+come up to the shores of light. The dog got to the cave of Pennygown&mdash;a
+limp and hairless parody of its former self.</p>
+
+<p>Browning, in his "Pied Piper of Hamelin," has but poetised one version
+of a world-wide tale. Often, in the Highland tales, it is money the
+piper is after. There is a deep cave near Melvaig, in Wester Ross, into
+which a piper is said to have led a band of men in search of gold, and
+never returned. In this case the pipe-music is said to have continued
+for years&mdash;some natives even asserting that it may be heard still by
+those who have ears to hear.</p>
+
+<p>In spite of all the legendary lore connected with the family of the
+MacLaines, the chief interest of Lochbuie for a lover of literature,
+centres round the visit of Boswell and Johnson. In one of the rooms of
+the castle there is a fine portrait of Johnson. On looking at it, my
+mind reverted to the amusing question addressed to the sage by the
+"bluff, comely, noisy old gentleman" who was the laird of Lochbuie in
+1773: "Are you of the Johnstons of Glencro or of Ardnamurchan?" "Dr.
+Johnson," says Boswell, "gave him a significant look, but made no
+answer; and I told Lochbuie that he was not Johnston, but Johnson, and
+that he was an Englishman."</p>
+
+<p>I regret to say that the great war saddle, which was in Lochbuie's
+possession in 1773, and which Boswell did not see because the young
+laird had taken it to Falkirk with a drove of black cattle, is no longer
+in the island: somebody took it to America, and forgot to bring it
+back.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_307" id="Page_307">{307}</a></span></p>
+
+<p>The present laird is greatly beloved by his tenantry. At the lecture I
+gave at Lochbuie, he was unable, owing to illness, to take the chair.
+His absence was a terrible grief to the people, and the piper of the
+family, in a brief speech, alluded in a most touching way to the sorrow
+felt by all present.<a name="FNanchor_30_30" id="FNanchor_30_30"></a><a href="#Footnote_30_30" class="fnanchor">[30]</a></p>
+
+
+<h3>INVERARAY CASTLE.</h3>
+
+<p>Three days after Johnson and his friend left Lochbuie, they were
+entertained by the Duke of Argyll in Inveraray Castle. Boswell's
+description of the incidents of this visit is one of his finest efforts.
+He tells us that Johnson admired the "utter defiance of expense" shown
+by the Duke in the building and appointments of the place. Records exist
+which show that the masons were paid at the rate of 4&frac12;d. a day,
+<i>plus</i> a weekly bonus of meal!</p>
+
+
+
+<p>It is interesting to note that the Rev. John Macaulay (grandfather of
+Lord Macaulay) was one of the ministers of Inveraray in 1773. Boswell
+gives him a very high character, but this had no emollient effect on the
+great<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_308" id="Page_308">{308}</a></span> historian, when he came to review <i>Croker's Edition of Boswell's
+Johnson</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Inveraray Castle is a superb object-lesson in Scotch history. All the
+Campbells of note for centuries past are hanging on the walls, from the
+old Duke who passed away last, to the squinting Marquis (<i>Gleed Argyll</i>
+mentioned in the "Bonnie House o' Airlie"), who was beheaded on the
+Castle Hill of Edinburgh in 1661. The Duke, who commanded at Sheriffmuir
+("when we ran and they ran, and they ran and we ran," etc.) is standing
+in his accoutrements of pride, painted by the son of Allan Ramsay:</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Argyll the State's whole thunder, born to wield<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And shake alike the Senate and the Field."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>Mediæval armour, firelocks from Culloden, flags from a score of
+battlefields, mutely suggest the glory and gore of the olden times. It
+is impossible to walk through the rooms of such a place without feeling
+intimately in touch with the events of the past.</p>
+
+<p>The present hotel is the one in which Johnson and his biographer lodged.
+Burns came sixteen years later, and wrote on the pane of his bedroom
+window the scandalous epigram on Inveraray so often quoted. The present
+Duke (who has perpetrated a fair amount of poetry himself) would give
+much of his odd cash to recover that pane, which was cut out some years
+ago by a pilfering visitor.<a name="FNanchor_31_31" id="FNanchor_31_31"></a><a href="#Footnote_31_31" class="fnanchor">[31]</a>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_309" id="Page_309">{309}</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<h3>THE SACRED ISLE.</h3>
+
+<p>Wordsworth came to Iona (which also belongs to the Argyll family) in
+1833, and wrote four poor sonnets on the sacred isle. This is what he
+saw:</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i8">"To each voyager<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Some ragged child holds up for sale a store<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of wave-worn pebbles, pleading on the shore<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Where once came monk and nun with gentle stir."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>Owing to its ecclesiastical renown as the cradle of Christianity in
+Britain, no island is so much visited as Iona. The audience I addressed
+was the most miscellaneous I have ever seen: there were boatmen and
+barristers, anglers and artists, curates and crofters, French and
+Germans.</p>
+
+<p>The present-day natives seem desirous of keeping up the old reputation
+for theology. The boatman who ferries visitors ashore, remarked to me
+with pride that his favourite book was one entitled <i>The Great
+Controversy between God and the Devil</i>, a book with which I was, and am
+still, unacquainted.</p>
+
+<p>Dr. Johnson's remarks on Iona remain the most eloquent tribute to the
+island. He never wrote any<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_310" id="Page_310">{310}</a></span>thing finer. All the children in the Iona
+school should be made to learn the piece by heart.<a name="FNanchor_32_32" id="FNanchor_32_32"></a><a href="#Footnote_32_32" class="fnanchor">[32]</a></p>
+
+<p>It is most gratifying to think that Christianity has been the great
+purifying force in Europe. The introduction of Christianity into the
+world must be reckoned as the most revolutionary event of history.
+Nothing was ever more needed. To one who knows the morality of the most
+brilliant society of the Greeks and Romans, there is no need to extol
+the pure and lofty moral tone of Jesus of Nazareth. But those who have
+not read the masterpieces of ancient art, with their mingled beauty and
+foulness, may be assured that literature owes more to Christianity than
+has ever yet been told. With Christianity a great healthy breeze swept
+over the world. Men became ashamed of wallowing in the mire. An ideal
+was raised up before them for their worship and imitation. The old Adam
+and his deeds needed stern repression after the wild iniquities of the
+effete society of imperial Rome. The spirit needed to curb the flesh,
+literature needed to be cleansed. We, living to-day and nursed on the
+accumulated tradition of so many anterior Christian centuries, are
+sometimes disposed to minimise the debt we owe, in pure and simple<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_311" id="Page_311">{311}</a></span>
+morality, to the teachings of the New Testament. I find it impossible to
+imagine what the world would be without these teachings. They renewed
+the world, they made it do penance for its sins, they made advance
+practicable. An entirely retrograde movement is impossible when once man
+is indoctrinated with a grand ideal.</p>
+
+
+
+<h3>APPIN.</h3>
+
+<p>In this chapter (as, indeed, in all the others) I am rummaging among my
+souvenirs for materials that are in some way noteworthy. It is utterly
+impossible to exhaust the romance and glamour of the Highlands. Those
+who go regularly North are certain to bring back, on each occasion, a
+host of interesting memories. "Swift as a weaver's shuttle fly our
+years": the chief difficulty is to jot down all that one sees and hears.</p>
+
+<p>On the occasion of my second visit to Appin, I stayed in the fine new
+hotel built on the eminence called Druim-an-t-Sealbhain. The landlord is
+a man of great wit and reading, and with him I had some enjoyable hours
+of miscellaneous conversation. Mr. Macdonald (for that is his name) has
+an excellent knowledge of the Celtic dialects, has translated into
+Gaelic verse some of the best-known poems of Burns, Tannahill, and
+Byron, and is extremely clever at retailing the legendary tales that
+still go rumouring along the Strath of Appin. He has also a good
+knowledge of English literature, and told me certain details regarding
+Scott and Wordsworth which I was pleased to know.</p>
+
+<p>It seems that Sir Walter was at one time tutor in Appin House, and was
+in the habit of visiting the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_312" id="Page_312">{312}</a></span> cot of an old shepherd, a notorious
+<i>seanachie</i>, full of romantic lore, for the purpose of hearing, and
+writing down, the old man's tales. An oak tree is still pointed out,
+under which, it is said, Scott composed part of <i>The Lord of the Isles</i>.
+Appin is not very far from the castles of Dunollie and Dunstaffnage,
+which Sir Walter wrought skilfully into the texture of his tales.</p>
+
+<p>The most interesting item mentioned by Mr. Macdonald had reference to
+the visit of William Wordsworth and his sister Dorothy, in the year
+1803. Everyone who has read the life of the great poet of Nature knows
+the charming description of the district contained in one of his
+sister's letters. "We arrived," she says, "at Port-na-croish. It is a
+small village&mdash;a few huts and an indifferent inn, by the side of the
+loch; ordered a fowl for dinner, had a fire lighted, and went a few
+steps from the door up the road, and turning aside into a field, stood
+at the top of a low eminence, from which, looking down the loch to the
+sea through a long vista of hills and mountains, <i>we beheld one of the
+most delightful prospects that, even when we dream of fairer worlds than
+this, it is possible to conceive in our hearts</i>." Here follows a
+description so exquisite of the sea-scenery and the Morven Hills, that
+it deserves to be classed with the finest examples of word-painting in
+the English language.</p>
+
+<p>The new hotel at Appin is built on the low eminence referred to in the
+above-cited letter. The name Druim-an-t-Sealbhain is giving way to the
+complimentary title of "Dorothy Wordsworth's View." From the front
+windows of the hotel, the same calm inland seas, grassy<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_313" id="Page_313">{313}</a></span> hills, Morven
+mists, grim old forts, and intricate communion of land and water, can be
+seen precisely as they were seen by the Wordsworths more than a century
+ago. The Port-na-croish inn has become a village store: it is well
+worthy of note, not merely for the reference in the letter, but for a
+fine legend, which I shall now narrate.</p>
+
+
+<h3>MACDONALD'S GRATITUDE.</h3>
+
+<p>The first tenant of the inn was a Macdonald of Glencoe, a man between
+sixty and seventy at the time of the story, the year 1755 namely. He had
+around him a family of stalwart sons, all imbued with intense hatred of
+the clan Campbell. The peculiar and fiendish malignity of the terrible
+massacre of Glencoe precluded all possibility of forgiveness on the part
+of the clan. Highland hospitality has always been a lavish and
+magnificent thing, and Colonel Campbell and his assassins had been
+treated with exceptional kindness in Glencoe. The bloody outrage, in a
+midnight of winter snows, was too terrible a meed of hospitality to be
+readily forgotten or forgiven by the Macdonalds. This old innkeeper of
+Port-na-croish, then, hated the Campbells with the unquenchable hate
+that deep wrongs, done not alone to an individual but to a tribe,
+engender in the Celtic soul.</p>
+
+<p>One day a white-bearded wayfarer begged food and shelter in the little
+hostel, and in the course of conversation over the meal that was soon
+spread on the board for his wants, he let slip an avowal that, in his
+youth, as one of Campbell's men, he had taken part in the gruesome
+massacre of the "valley of weeping." Without<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_314" id="Page_314">{314}</a></span> more ado, the landlord
+slipped out and posted his sons at the door, with whispered orders to
+them that the stranger should be dirked to death on crossing the
+threshold of the inn. Returning indoors, old Macdonald, dissimulating
+his fell intentions, proceeded to ply the visitor with question upon
+question, so as to gain a detailed knowledge of all the incidents of the
+weird carnage. Finally he said, "Tell me, Campbell, what part of that
+devilish business made the strongest impression on your mind?" "I will
+tell you," said the old soldier, "what to me was the outstanding
+incident of that night. Towards the close of the massacre, a child's
+voice was heard piercingly on the night air&mdash;a scream it was, and seemed
+to come from no great distance. The captain sent me in the direction of
+the sound, bidding me, if the child should be a male Macdonald, to kill
+it forthwith; if a girl, to spare. I soon came up to the place whence
+the sound proceeded, and saw through the whirling snow, under the
+protection of a jutting cliff, a nurse with a boy of four years old,
+both of them wailing and shivering with cold. The child was gnawing a
+bone and, near by, a dog was crouching. Pity wrung my heart. I drove my
+bayonet through the trembling cur, and, going back to the captain,
+showed him the bloody steel as a proof that I had obeyed his commands."</p>
+
+<p>The innkeeper, who had been all ears, said: "You, then, were that
+soldier?" "I was, indeed," replied the old wanderer. "<i>And I was that
+child!</i>" said the landlord, "and <i>your</i> life is saved. My sons stand at
+the threshold of the inn, ready to fall upon you when you<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_315" id="Page_315">{315}</a></span> leave. I
+countermand the order for your destruction. Here you shall stay, an
+honoured guest, till the end of your days, as a recompense for saving my
+life on that awful night."</p>
+
+<p>The story goes on to state that the foot-weary Campbell lived for some
+years a pensioner in Port-na-croish inn, and was buried at the expense
+of the grateful innkeeper. I do not know any story that comes nearer
+perfection.</p>
+
+
+<h3>NOTES ON THE TROSSACHS.</h3>
+
+<p>The Rev. Mr. Wilson, the cultured and genial minister of the Trossachs,
+has recently published a most readable little book on the district he
+knows so well. Perhaps no district indeed on the world's surface is so
+well known (even to those who have never seen it), as the Trossachs.
+Little did Sir Walter suspect, when he penned the stirring iambics of
+<i>The Lady of the Lake</i>, that he was furnishing materials to the
+pedagogue which would be parsed, analysed, and dissected by myriads of
+pupils in all the schools of the British Empire. We shall all carry with
+us to the grave the leading passages of that romantic lay: the
+stag-hunt, the duel at Coilantogle Ford, the whistle that garrisoned the
+glen, and the episode of the Fiery Cross. Such lines, we may say, have
+gone out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world.
+Happening to pass Strathyre station in July, 1907, I was requested by a
+bright-eyed little Japanese gentleman in the compartment to tell him
+where we were. On being informed, he (after casting an eye of pity on
+the deplorable<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_316" id="Page_316">{316}</a></span> stork that is supposed to decorate the drinking-fountain
+of the station), began to declaim, in capital English, the passage that
+begins&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Benledi saw the Cross of Fire,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">It glanced like lightning up Strathyre,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">O'er dale and hill the summons flew,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Nor rest nor pause young Angus knew;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The tear that gathered in his eye<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">He left the mountain breeze to dry."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>Mr. Wilson's book to which I have alluded is a collection of the
+impressions written down by eminent visitors to the locality, from
+Dorothy Wordsworth to Queen Victoria. Carlyle, who was in Perthshire in
+1818, wrote the following note, which, though short, is finely
+characteristic of him: "The Trossachs I found really grand and
+impressive, Loch Katrine exquisitely so, my first taste of the beautiful
+in scenery. Not so, any of us, the dirty, smoky farm-hut at the
+entrance, with no provision in it but bad oatcakes and unacceptable
+whisky, or the Mrs. Stewart who somewhat royally presided over it, and
+dispensed these dainties, expecting to be flattered like an
+independency, as well as paid like an innkeeper." The foregoing note, by
+itself, is good value for the cost of Mr. Wilson's book (two shillings,
+namely), and raises regrets that the author of <i>Sartor</i> did not travel
+oftener through the Land of Cakes. (The only other place in the
+Highlands where I have heard Carlyle spoken of, is Kyleakin in Skye,
+where he was the guest of Lady Ashburton, and where (as the natives
+say), the cocks and hens had to be removed out of ear-shot for his
+convenience.)<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_317" id="Page_317">{317}</a></span></p>
+
+<p>One of Mr. Wilson's stories (contributed by a lady) is apposite at the
+present time, when so much is being heard of women's rights. Glengyle, a
+district of the Trossachs, was once <i>entirely ruled</i> by a number of
+women, who constituted a sort of High Court with women as Judge and
+Jury. "The most notorious case which they dealt with, and which probably
+led to their downfall through drawing the ridicule of the country upon
+them, was a case of horse-stealing. The accused man had been seen riding
+furiously away on someone else's horse, and all evidence pointed to his
+guilt. To the astonishment of the outsiders, the jury returned a verdict
+of 'not guilty,' and the Judge on summing up declared the horse was the
+culprit, as it had run away with the man. <i>She condemned the unfortunate
+animal to be hanged, and hanged it was, while the man got off scot
+free.</i>"</p>
+
+
+<h3>LOCHFYNE-SIDE.</h3>
+
+<p>None of the mainland counties of Scotland can boast of such wonderful
+ramifications of sea and loch as the county of Argyll. The present
+amiable and cultured head of the Clan Campbell declaimed, with great
+applause, at a social gathering not long ago, a fine poem, in which the
+beauties of his ancestral shire were floridly&mdash;but not
+unjustly&mdash;elaborated. It would be difficult to over-praise the county of
+Argyll, with its splendid sea-board, its rugged and impressive peaks,
+and its unrivalled fiords and lakes. Thanks to its proximity to large
+centres of population, few counties are so much visited. Its fame, in
+our day, is likely to be more widespread than ever, owing to the
+graceful<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_318" id="Page_318">{318}</a></span> and entertaining writings of Mr. Neil Munro, who probably
+knows the details of its local history better than any man living, and
+who possesses the inimitable art of interesting others in his
+delineations of the past. I confess that I feel, personally, as much
+interest in the Wars of Lorn as I do in the Siege of Sphacteria, and
+that "Glee'd Argyll" seems fully as attractive as Cleon or Brasidas.</p>
+
+<p>Of course, long before Mr. Munro, Loch Fyne had a European reputation,
+which it owed to its herring. The Popes of Rome used to eat these
+herring in mediæval times, and sent for them <i>viâ</i> Amsterdam or Antwerp.
+Orthodox Catholics have always had good judgment in the matter of fish,
+and especially the French, who belong to a country which proudly boasts
+of being <i>the eldest daughter of the Church</i>. For many a generation the
+French came annually to Lochgilphead, and bartered their kegs of claret
+for barrels of salt herring. The French Revolution, among its many other
+effects, put a stop to this trade. War lasted for so many years between
+Britain and France, that, at the end of it all, the continental sailors
+had forgotten the way to Loch Fyne.</p>
+
+<p>Argyllshire is rich in legends, for many of which no date can be given
+except the elastic one <i>long ago</i> or <i>in byegone times</i>. Let me cite one
+or two of these:&mdash;</p>
+
+
+<h4>MACIVORS, MACVICARS, AND MACALLISTERS.</h4>
+
+<p>On the road to Kilmartin is a place called the Robber's Den, the
+locality of which may be firmly fixed in the tourist's memory by noting
+that it is just<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_319" id="Page_319">{319}</a></span> behind a large distillery. Here, long ago, lived one
+Macvicar, whose wife was a Macivor. These names are important, and so
+also is that of the Macallisters of Tarbert, who one day stole cattle
+belonging to the Macivors. Mrs. Macvicar noticed these Tarbert
+scoundrels driving her father's cattle through the glen, and mentioned
+the fact to her boy. Young Macvicar followed the robbers, and found them
+in a forest feeding joyously on a slain bullock belonging to his
+grandfather. As each Macallister finished picking a bone, he would throw
+it violently against a big stone, remarking at the same time, with a
+chuckle: "<i>If a Macivor were here, that's how I would treat him</i>." The
+boy, from his hiding-place in the foliage, threw a stone and struck one
+of the feasters. The injured man blamed one of his own clansmen, and,
+after much recrimination, a free fight of Macallisters was the result.
+During the mêlée, the boy slunk off and told his mother's family what
+was happening. The Macivors, in a furious and determined band, soon fell
+upon their disordered foes, and completely routed them and regained
+their cattle, <i>minus</i> the consumed bullock. The chief of the
+Macallisters was slain by a woman, who took off her stocking, placed a
+<i>large stone therein</i>, and heaved it at his head. That same night, Mrs.
+Macallister, wife of the chieftain thus ignominiously laid low, gave
+birth, perhaps prematurely, to a son, whom the care of a discriminate
+midwife secreted from the vengeance of the Macivors, who were howling
+all round the house. This child grew up to manhood with the picture of
+the stone-laden stocking ever before his<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_320" id="Page_320">{320}</a></span> mind's eye. He prepared a most
+effective retaliation: he sent to Ireland and got over a large band of
+Antrim men, who were quite pleased to help him in his bloody projects.
+The Macivors were completely overpowered, and even the Macvicars had a
+taste of Irish steel. Macvicar, father of the boy who distinguished
+himself in the wood, was attacked in his own house. He was an athlete of
+great powers, and was <i>able to jump thirty feet either in a backward or
+a forward direction</i>. The Irishmen set fire to his house, and
+Macvicar&mdash;hoping, no doubt, to make a final leap for life&mdash;tried to
+escape by the chimney. His foes struck him on the knee with a spear: he
+fell into their hands, and was at once despatched.</p>
+
+
+<h4>RED HECTOR.</h4>
+
+<p>We hear a good deal of the Irish in the traditions of Argyllshire. The
+ruthless Colkitto, notorious for his own deeds and also for Milton's
+mention of him, brought over a contingent of men from Ireland to help
+Montrose in the Royalist wars. These auxiliaries swooped down on
+Kintyre, murdered hundreds of Campbells, and devastated with fire and
+sword the whole of Argyll's country. To this period belongs the story of
+Red Hector and the Irish colossus, Phadrig Mor.</p>
+
+<p>Hector was a little, red-haired kern of the Campbell clan, who was
+caught by Colkitto's men skulking in the wood, and dragged with pinioned
+arms before the son of that bandit. Hector was about to be hanged
+without more ado, but as preparations were being made he cried out:
+"<i>Give me a sword and I'll fight any one of you. If I am beaten, kill me
+then.</i>" The Irishmen, to whom<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_321" id="Page_321">{321}</a></span> an "illigant foight" has always been
+welcome, agreed to the proposal of Red Hector. They chose Phadrig Mor, a
+fierce giant of a man, to fight with the little fellow. The latter, to
+neutralise the advantages of Phadrig's stature, leapt nimbly on the sawn
+stump of a tree, and, in an attitude of defence, awaited the oncoming of
+his foe. The wee man parried most dexteriously every blow that Phadrig
+wished to deal, and there was much mirth and excitement among the
+spectators. At length, seeing a terrific blow coming his way, Hector
+speedily leapt off the trunk of the tree, and the Irishman's sword came
+fiercely down and was embedded in the timber. Now was Hector's chance:
+he laid about the defenceless giant to such purpose that Phadrig was
+soon a corpse.</p>
+
+
+<h4>MACPHAIL OF COLONSAY.</h4>
+
+<p>Leyden, the polyglott poet, has written a poem on an Argyllshire
+tradition attaching to the whirlpool of Corryvreckan. Near that dreaded
+tumult of waters, Macphail, a Colonsay man, was pulled out of his boat
+by a mermaid, and taken down to her shell-strewn chamber at the bottom
+of the sea. They stayed for years together, and five little, unbaptized
+Macphails claimed him at length as their sire. By and by he grew tired
+of the eternal swirling of the currents, the saltwater garden growths,
+and the irritating deflection of the sunlight. His mind continued to
+revert to Colonsay and the girl he had left behind him there. One day he
+got the mermaid to take him near the strand of his native island,
+whereupon he suddenly leapt ashore and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_322" id="Page_322">{322}</a></span> escaped. In future years he
+avoided the sea as much as possible, preferring to devote his time and
+talents to cultivating the soil of Colonsay.</p>
+
+
+<h3>TALES FROM SPEYSIDE.</h3>
+
+<p>Part of my purpose in this chapter is to show to any of my readers who
+may have poetical talents, that abundance of material for verse, and
+that of the most pathetic, thrilling, and gruesome kind, is still to be
+found in the North country. No one since Scott has thought fit to draw
+much on traditions of the Highlands: and though Scott poetised a great
+many of these, plenty of them still remain unsung. Many fine tales are
+associated with the delightful district of Speyside.</p>
+
+
+<h4>TOM EUNAN!</h4>
+
+<p>Near the little village of Kincraig is a queer old church built on a
+hill called Tom Eunan, just beside the Spey. This church is declared to
+be the only one in Scotland in which services have been continuously
+held since the seventh century. The outside is antique in the extreme;
+inside, there have been renovations: there is a deal of varnished
+wainscoating that would have scared the Culdees, and instead of the
+uneven cobble stones of old, there is a modern floor of wood. On one of
+the windows of the church, there is a fine old bronze bell that exists
+as a relic of Culdee times. Some profane person once laid hands on this
+bell and carried it off to Perth; but it <i>would not</i> ring away from
+Speyside. To speak figuratively, the bell was broken-hearted: from its
+metallic tongue, night and day, came the mournful wail, "Tom Eunan, Tom<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_323" id="Page_323">{323}</a></span>
+Eunan." I am happy to say that it was brought back to its beloved
+hillock.</p>
+
+<p>Rural churches with earthen floors were not uncommon in Scotland even in
+the nineteenth century: in such there would be no great trouble in
+interring the dead. Two Speyside stories, dealing with kirks and
+kirkyards, are told of the Grants of Rothiemurchus.</p>
+
+
+<h4>SHAWS AND GRANTS.</h4>
+
+<p>For several generations the possession of Rothiemurchus was a constant
+subject of dispute between the Shaws and the Grants. The Shaws were the
+original owners, but having waxed fat and kicked against the Government
+on more than one occasion, word was sent from Edinburgh to one of the
+Grants, who was Laird of Muckerach, that he should dispossess the Shaws
+of the lands of Rothiemurchus, <i>gin he could</i>. Grant was by no means
+"blate" in availing himself of the hint, but the Shaws were tough
+fighters. In a final and decisive contest between the two clans, the
+Grants were victorious and the chief of the Shaws slain. The victorious
+Muckerach, now unequivocal Laird of Rothiemurchus, caused his dead rival
+to be buried deep down within the kirk beneath his own seat. Every
+Sunday <i>when he went to pray</i> he stamped his feet triumphantly upon the
+place under which lay the corpse of his enemy.</p>
+
+<p>Patrick Grant, surnamed Macalpine, cuts a rather picturesque figure in
+clan history. With a body of gaily-dressed retainers he paraded round
+the countryside, dispensing justice and letting the minimum of time
+elapse between the sentence and the execution.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_324" id="Page_324">{324}</a></span> He was twice married,
+and his second wife survived him. That forlorn lady had much to endure
+from the first family, and notably from the wife of Macalpine's eldest
+son and heir. The widow took a very dramatic way of publicly showing her
+grievances. Once after the service in the kirk was over, she stepped up,
+with her fan in her hand, to the corner of the kirkyard, and, taking off
+her high-heeled slipper, she tapped with it on the stone laid over her
+husband's grave, crying out through her tears, "<i>Macalpine! Macalpine!
+rise up for ae half-hour and see me richted!</i>"</p>
+
+<p>A diverting legend explains the <i>low-lying situation of Ballindalloch
+Castle</i>, a beautiful specimen of baronial architecture, standing near
+the junction of the Spey and the Avon. In planning the place, somewhere
+about 1545, the laird fully intended to secure a wide prospect, and to
+that end, chose a commanding site. But his views did not commend
+themselves to the Powers of the Air, and the masons could make no
+progress. Every night, when the workers had retired from building the
+walls, a prodigious gale came roaring from the summit of Ben Rinnes and
+swept stones and mortar into the bed of the Avon. The laird, sorely
+puzzled at this strange phenomenon, lay in watch one night, with the
+result that he was blown off his feet, and landed right up among the
+branches of a holly-tree. Having taken the conceit out of the laird in
+this abrupt way, the Mysterious Power, chuckling in fiendish fashion,
+called out "<i>Build on the cow-haugh</i>." Frightened out of his wits, the
+laird was only too glad to comply.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_325" id="Page_325">{325}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h4>THE WISHING WELL.</h4>
+
+<p>Round the old Castle of Rothes clings a legend of a more pathetic kind.
+"Fierce wars and faithful loves shall moralise my song," says Spenser,
+and it is with these well-worn but ever-fresh subjects that the story
+deals. The heiress of one of the old lairds of Rothes, being allowed to
+roam at will with her foster-mother, cast an eye of love on the son of
+the laird of Arndilly. As in ballad lore, the love seems to have been
+immediate, reciprocal, and unquenchable. The girl's father, hearing of
+the attachment, summarily forbade it, and commanded his daughter to turn
+her back on young Arndilly, and take a different road in future. But as
+journeys end in lovers meeting, the two young people, by whatever way
+they set out, invariably met at the <i>Wishing Well</i>. A sad severance
+came, however, for young Arndilly, like so many mediæval knights of song
+who had faithful mistresses, must needs go crusading to the Holy Land.
+During his absence, the lady hied daily to the Wishing Well, and many a
+tear she let fall therein as she thought of the lad that was so far
+away. But after many a month, back from Palestine came young Arndilly,
+and went, of course, straight to the old trysting-place, where he found
+his lady-love praying for his safe return. The meeting was rapturous but
+tragically short. A dark shape glided upon the scene, and drove a fatal
+dirk in the young soldier's back. The lady shrieked aloud and swooned
+away. For the rest of her life she was an imbecile: she never left the
+castle, and spent her time crooning a plaintive song and rocking a
+cradle. Her ghost still haunts the place, and those who have<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_326" id="Page_326">{326}</a></span> ears to
+hear can, at nightfall, make out, above the sough of the wind, the
+mournful notes of a weird lullaby, and mysterious cradle-rockings within
+the ruined walls. Close by the Well, at the spot of the murder, a bush
+sprang up, whereof the leaves resembled crosses; in autumn they turned
+to a bright scarlet colour, as if typical of the blood that had flowed
+there from its victim's wounds. Others will have it that the lady's
+ghost may be seen flitting about, distractedly, in the woods, on a
+particular night of the year&mdash;the anniversary, it is supposed, of
+Arndilly's murder.</p>
+
+
+<h3>OSSIAN AND MACPHERSON.</h3>
+
+<p>The beautiful little town of Kingussie is famous for its association
+with "Ossian" Macpherson, who was born near by. No man, born on Scottish
+earth, except perhaps, Sir Walter Scott, had ever such an influence on
+European literature as this Highland dominie. "His Ossian," as Professor
+Macmillan Brown says, "was translated into almost every European
+language; and its influence is apparent in Goethe's Werther, in
+Schiller's Robbers, and in all the Storm-and-Stress literature of
+Germany, in the productions and speeches of the French Revolutionists,
+in the romantic literary movement that preceded and followed the
+Revolution, and in much of the Italian, Spanish, and Danish poetry of
+the time. It generally affected the prose style of eighteenth century
+romance, and was a direct antidote to Johnsonianism in the imaginative
+literature. In our own century it bent the genius of Scott to the
+Highlands, and moulded the dramas of Byron, and the often vague<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_327" id="Page_327">{327}</a></span> imagery
+of Shelley; it appears in the style of Kingsley's Hereward, and directly
+or indirectly it is responsible for the pioneering efforts of Walt
+Whitman in prose poetry and for the rapid growth of poetic prose through
+De Quincey, Bulwer Lytton, and Ruskin. During last century it stirred
+Blake to misty prophecies, led writers of romance back into the less
+known periods of the past, and gave the new audience a delight in
+mysterious and almost formless legend and tale and idea."</p>
+
+<p>The extraordinary vogue of Macpherson's Ossianic poems was due to
+literary merit of a high order, and also to the parched and dry state
+into which the poetry of Europe had sunk in the middle of the eighteenth
+century. Boileau and his rules had crushed all sap and life out of
+European verse, and the poet had become either a teacher of rimed ethics
+or a framer of dexterous satire. How refreshing Ossian must have been to
+the men of such a time:</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"The hills were round them, and the breeze<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Went o'er the sun-lit fields again;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Their foreheads felt the wind and rain."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>Let the modern reader go through the <i>Rape of the Lock</i>, and then take
+up the song of the hunter Shilric from Macpherson's "Carric-thura."</p>
+
+<p>Shilric, not knowing that his love Vinvela is dead, thus communes with
+himself:</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>"I sit by the mossy mountain; on the top of the hill of winds.
+One tree is rustling above me. Dark waves roll over the heath.
+The lake is troubled below. The deer descend from the hill. No
+hunter at a distance is seen.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_328" id="Page_328">{328}</a></span> It is mid-day; but all is silent.
+Sad are my thoughts alone. Didst thou but appear, O my love! a
+wanderer on the heath! thy hair floating on the wind behind
+thee; thy bosom heaving on the sight; thine eyes full of tears
+for thy friends, whom the mist of the hill had concealed! Thee I
+would comfort, my love, and bring thee to thy father's house!"</p></div>
+
+<p>To him mourning thus, the spirit of his dead love appears:</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>"But is it she that there appears, like a beam of light on the
+heath? bright as the moon in autumn, as the sun in a
+summer-storm, comest thou, O maid, over rocks, over mountains to
+me? She speaks: but how weak her voice! like the breeze in the
+reeds of the lake.</p>
+
+<p>"'Alone I am, O Shilric! alone in the winter-house. With grief
+for thee I fell. Shilric, I am pale in the tomb.'</p>
+
+<p>"She fleets, she sails away; as mist before the wind! and wilt
+thou not stay, Vinvela? Stay and behold my tears! fair thou
+appearest, Vinvela! fair thou wast, when alive!</p>
+
+<p>"By the mossy mountain I will sit; on the top of the hill of
+winds. When mid-day is silent around, O talk with me, Vinvela!
+come on the light-winged gale! on the breeze of the desert,
+come! Let me hear thy voice, as thou passest, when mid-day is
+silent around.'"</p></div>
+
+<p>The readers of the eighteenth century did not stay to consider whether
+the foregoing was, or was not, a genuine antique: it suited their taste
+admirably. Rousseau had brought sentimentalism into favour; the "return
+to nature" was a kind of creed with the French<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_329" id="Page_329">{329}</a></span> philosophers: these
+facts aided greatly in causing the epidemic of Ossianism that overran
+Europe.</p>
+
+<p>I should not like to be condemned to read nothing but Ossian for a year.
+The short staccato sentences, the difficulty of getting hold of anything
+definite amid so many moonbeams, gliding ghosts, whistling reeds, and
+feasts of shells, has a very debilitating effect on the mind. There is
+too much weeping: one is constantly saying with Tennyson, "Tears, idle
+tears, I know not what they mean." Yet, no one can dip into Macpherson
+without being rewarded by some phrase of an impressive or refreshing
+kind, <i>e.g.</i>:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>"Thou art with the years that are gone; thou fadest on my soul."</p></div>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>"Why dost thou build the hall, son of the winged days?"</p></div>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>"Her steps were like the music of songs; she saw the youth and
+loved him. He was the stolen sigh of her soul."</p></div>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>"Why does Ossian sing? Soon shall he lie in the narrow house,
+and no bard shall raise his fame."</p></div>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>"When shall it be morn in the grave to bid the slumberer wake?"</p></div>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>"Mixed with the murmur of waters rose the voice of aged men, who
+called the forms of night to aid them in the war."</p></div>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>"Autumn is dark on the mountains; grey mist rests on the hills."</p></div>
+
+
+<h3>AT THE FOOT O' BENNACHIE.</h3>
+
+<p>I have on several occasions, during the last year or two, visited that
+part of Aberdeenshire which is immediately under the glorious ridge of
+Bennachie. Like all<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_330" id="Page_330">{330}</a></span> lovers of ballad lore, I know by heart the poem of
+the little wee man who had such prowess, and who invited the poet to go
+with him to his green bower. After seeing magnificent examples of
+dancing, the poet found himself lying in the mist at the foot of
+Bennachie:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Out went the lichts, on cam' the mist,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Leddies nor mannie mair could I see;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">I turned aboot, and gave a look,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">I was just at the foot o' Bennachie."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>The exquisite little ballad from which I quote is calculated to raise
+expectations of beauty which the picturesque surroundings of Bennachie
+are well able to satisfy. Great tracts of Aberdeenshire are flat,
+treeless, and painful in their monotony; in winter, great gusts sweep
+the cold plains, and make driving or walking a trying ordeal; the
+country is thinly peopled, and the impression of the visitor is that, in
+some districts, railway stations are more numerous than villages. Round
+Bennachie, however, the scenery is most pleasant and picturesque. The
+villages of Oyne and Insch, in which hospitality to strangers is a
+religion, are beautifully placed and well-foliaged all around. The
+region is, indeed, one of romance, and the little brook of Gadie ripples
+on in the radiance and glamour of pathetic song.</p>
+
+
+<h3>HARLAW.</h3>
+
+<p>Those who consider, like Ruskin, that the stories of the past add no
+inconsiderable item to the beauty of a landscape, as it appears to the
+eye and intelligence of modern observers, will not fail to remember the
+momentous issues decided at no great distance from the foot of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_331" id="Page_331">{331}</a></span>
+Bennachie, in 1411. Teutonic and Celtic Scotland came to grips at
+Harlaw, near by:&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"The Hielandmen, wi' their lang swords,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">They laid on us fu' sair;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And they drave back our merry men<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Three acres' breadth and mair.<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">. . . . . . . . . .<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Gin anybody speer at ye<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">For them we took awa',<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Ye may tell them plain and very plain,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">They're sleeping at Harlaw."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>Burton, in his <i>History of Scotland</i>, declares that the check given to
+Donald of the Isles at Harlaw, was a greater relief to Scotland than
+even Bannockburn was. If the Stuart kings, hard pressed as they were by
+England on the south, had been threatened by a formidable Celtic
+sovereignty on the north, Holyrood might have been in ruins a good many
+centuries earlier. I am not going to shock my Highland friends by saying
+it was a good thing for the country that Donald, with the remnant of his
+plaids and claymores, had to retreat to the misty straths and islands of
+the west. The coalition of Celt and Teuton has taken place in an
+unostentatious way, to the advantage of both races: Macfadyen does not
+now, as in the days of Dunbar, bide "<i>far norrart in a neuk</i>;" he has
+come to the Lowlands long ago, and rarely goes North, except on holiday.
+And the language, which to the finical ears of James Fourth's
+poet-laureate, seemed too terrible even for the devil to tolerate, has
+come south, too, and has a chair all to itself in the University of
+Edinburgh. <i>Time</i>, says<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_332" id="Page_332">{332}</a></span> Sophocles, <i>is a god who performs difficult
+things with ease</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Mention of Harlaw suggests a comic tale told to the credit of the
+Provost of Inverness. That gentleman, on being threatened with a
+predatory visit from Donald in 1400, took the remarkable plan of sending
+an ample supply of Inverness whisky into the Celtic camp. The men of
+Lewis and Skye tackled the liquid bounty with great glee, and soon were
+in a state of maudlin intoxication. The wily Provost meanwhile collected
+a force and attacked Donald's men, who (as they magnified the attacking
+host to <i>double its real numbers</i>) were easily scared and routed. At
+Harlaw, eleven years later, the Provost of Aberdeen, evidently a man who
+lacked the resource of the chief magistrate of Inverness, was killed,
+and 500 men with him.</p>
+
+
+<h3>LOCHABER REIVERS.</h3>
+
+<p>The predatory habits of the Highlanders gave great trouble to the
+Aberdeenshire farmers <i>for fully three hundred years after Harlaw</i>. In
+1689 a dozen wild Lochaber men came right down into the heart of
+Aberdeenshire and lifted six score of black cattle. The fate of the
+marauders is thus described by the author of <i>Johnny Gibb</i>:&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"They were pursued by a body of nearly 50 horsemen, well mounted and
+armed, and each carrying bags of meal and other provisions, both for
+their own support, and to offer in ransom for the cattle, if peaceful
+negotiations could be carried through. On through the hills, over
+marshes, rocks, and heather, the spirited<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_333" id="Page_333">{333}</a></span> horsemen followed, under
+their leader; and guided by a herd-boy whom they encountered, they
+traced the robbers by Loch Ericht side into the heart of their own
+country. At nightfall, they came upon them at Dalunchart, encamped and
+busily engaged roasting a portion of the flesh of one of the cattle they
+had stolen. They offered, after some parley, to give each of the
+freebooters a bag of meal and a pair of shoes in ransom for the cattle.
+The Highlanders treated such an offer for cattle driven so far and with
+so much trouble with contempt; the herd was gathered in, and the fight
+began in deep earnest, the result being that the Lochaber men were all
+shot down, killed or wounded, except three, who escaped unhurt to tell
+the tale; and the cattle were, of course, recovered."</p>
+
+
+<h3>REAY AND TWICKENHAM.</h3>
+
+<p>Perhaps the least attractive of the Scotch counties, in respect of
+scenery, is Caithness. The North-going train enters it a little after
+Helmsdale, and from thence to Thurso the journey is of a most dreary and
+depressing character. He who wishes to see the romantic part of the
+county should quit the train at Helmsdale, and go right to John o'
+Groats by the shore road: thereafter he should proceed along the line of
+the Pentland Firth to the dainty town of Thurso and to the village of
+Reay, the citadel of the Mackays. The district round Reay is a
+delightful one, and has great historical interest.</p>
+
+<p>Some good examples of the power assumed of old by the country ministers
+are furnished by a perusal of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_334" id="Page_334">{334}</a></span> life of an eighteenth century
+minister, the Rev. Alexander Pope, who was stationed for many years in
+Reay. He was a huge giant of a man, and invariably carried about with
+him a nail-studded cudgel that was a terror to sinners. A lout of a
+fellow in his parish refused to come to church and get rebuked for an
+infringement of the usual commandment. Mr. Pope sent three elders with
+ropes to pinion the adulterer, hale him to church, and fasten him to a
+conspicuous pew right under the pulpit. The minister cannonaded the
+culprit to his heart's content, beginning thus: "<i>Shame, shame, son of a
+beggar, where art thou now?</i>"</p>
+
+<p>Another parishioner who neglected family worship on the ground that he
+could not make up a prayer, was severely taken to task by Mr. Pope, who
+gave the man a year within which to manufacture one. At the end of the
+twelvemonth, Mr. Pope called and requested to hear the prayer. The man
+glibly rattled off a long succession of phrases that did not please the
+minister at all. "That won't do," he said, "you must prepare over
+again." "And is all my long labour to go for nothing," said the man,
+"all my year's toil? No, no: rather than lose my labour, I'll <i>break the
+prayer up and make two graces of it</i>." For the rest of his life, as the
+story runs, he did actually employ the two parts of his mutilated prayer
+as Grace before and Grace after meat respectively. Could there be a
+finer example of natural thrift in the spiritual world?</p>
+
+<p>An Inverness journalist, Mr. Carruthers, wrote a life of the great poet,
+Alexander Pope, in which occurs the following curious note respecting
+the minister of Reay,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_335" id="Page_335">{335}</a></span> just mentioned: "The northern Alexander Pope
+entertained a profound admiration for his illustrious namesake of
+England; and it is a curious and well-ascertained fact that the simple
+enthusiastic clergyman, in the summer of 1732, rode on his pony all the
+way from Caithness to Twickenham, in order to pay the poet a visit. The
+latter felt his dignity a little touched by the want of the necessary
+pomp and circumstance with which the minister presumed to approach his
+domicile; but after the ice of ceremony had in some degree been broken,
+and their intellects had come in contact, the poet became interested,
+and a friendly feeling was established between them. Several interviews
+took place, and the poet presented his good friend and namesake, the
+minister of Reay, with a copy of the subscription edition of the
+'Odyssey' in five volumes quarto."</p>
+
+<p>A grandson of the Reay minister, a Mr. James Campbell of Edinburgh, gave
+a description to Mr. Carruthers of a snuff-box which the poet had
+presented to the Rev. Mr. Pope. A series of letters to the <i>Northern
+Ensign</i>, in April, 1883, brought out the information that a Wick
+gentleman, Mr. Duncan, had in his possession two volumes of de Vertot's
+<i>History of the Roman Republic</i>, bearing an inscription to the effect
+that they had been presented by the poet of Twickenham to his northern
+namesake.</p>
+
+<p>It has been suggested that the poet and the minister were distant
+blood-relations. Mr. Campbell, alluded to above, said that "the two
+Popes claimed kin." In any case, the friendship of the two men, one
+living on<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_336" id="Page_336">{336}</a></span> the shores of the wild Pentland Firth, in sight of the
+Orkneys, and the other not far "from streaming London's central roar,"
+is pleasant to think of. In 1737, Pope wrote the lines&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Loud as the wolves on Orca's stormy steep<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Howl to the roarings of the northern deep,"<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<p>adding, in a note, that he refers to "the farthest northern promontory
+of Scotland, opposite to the Orcades." Perhaps his mind reverted to the
+burly incumbent of Reay as he penned the note.</p>
+
+
+<h3>ROB DONN.</h3>
+
+<p>The little township of Reay is less famous for the Rev. Mr. Pope's
+incumbency than for the fact of Rob Donn, the satirical Gaelic bard,
+being a native of the district. The author of the <i>Dunciad</i> is the
+greatest satirist in British Literature; Rob Donn is supreme among
+Gaelic bards for the sharpness of his tongue and his clever way of
+showing up his contemporaries to ridicule. He was in the habit of giving
+praise to people in order to make his satire more biting. Praise on his
+tongue was compared to oil on the edge of a razor: the cut was all the
+deeper. Rob, although a master of language, was unable to read or write,
+so that though he "lisped in numbers"&mdash;he began to compose at the age of
+three&mdash;he could not say, like Pope:</p>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Why did I <i>write</i>? What sin to me unknown<br /></span>
+<span class="i0"><i>Dipt me in ink</i>, my parents' or my own?"<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_337" id="Page_337">{337}</a></span></div></div>
+
+<p>Blackie speaks thus of him: "Rob Donn, according to all accounts, though
+outwardly of such fair respectability that he attained an honour,
+unknown to Robert Burns, of acting as an elder of the kirk, was not
+always so chaste in his words as he might seem to be in his deeds; he
+took his plash as a poet, and not always in the clearest waters;
+besides, he had a terrible lash at his command, which he could wield
+with an effect at times that paid little respect to the bounds set in
+such matters by Christian charity, or even by social politeness. The
+consequence has been that much of the wit and humour of his pieces,
+however telling for its immediate purpose, has lost half of its interest
+by the disappearance of the persons to whom it referred. These personal
+allusions also import an additional difficulty into the language which
+he uses, and cause his productions, however belauded, to be less known
+amongst Highlanders generally than those of Duncan Ban and Dugald
+Buchanan. Severe moralists also very properly object to the undue
+license and occasional coarseness of his verses."<a name="FNanchor_33_33" id="FNanchor_33_33"></a><a href="#Footnote_33_33" class="fnanchor">[33]</a>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_338" id="Page_338">{338}</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<h3>REV. MR. MILL OF DUNROSSNESS.</h3>
+
+<p>Before concluding the present chapter, I should like to refer briefly to
+a valuable and amusing book (brought under my notice in Shetland) that
+furnishes details of the life of Mr. Mill, minister of Dunrossness from
+1742 till 1805. Mr. Mill's special talent was his unrivalled power of
+exorcism: he was a strenuous foe to the devil in every shape and form,
+and his life was one long battle with the Prince of Darkness. The latter
+was constantly bringing into play all manner of gins, traps, and wiles
+to confound the uncompromising clergyman; but, on a calm review of the
+evidence, one cannot but admit that the devil was far inferior in
+intelligence to his opponent.</p>
+
+<p>On one occasion, Satan had the effrontery to come into Dunrossness
+Church and take his seat at the Communion Table. Mr. Mill at once
+recognised his life-long adversary, and began to speak in all the deep
+languages, and, last of all, in Gaelic, and that beat him altogether.
+Satan went off like a flock of "doos" over the heads of the people, many
+of whom swooned. "As a permanent reminder of the hostility cherished
+against him by the Arch-Enemy, it was said that Mr. Mill always had the
+wind in his face. One day he came up to officiate at Sandwick, in the
+teeth, as usual, of a pretty stiff breeze. An ordinary person would
+naturally have expected the wind to be on his back on the return
+journey. But during the service the wind veered round. Mr. Mill's only
+comment, as he started for home, was, 'It's all he can do.' In one
+respect, Mr. Mill benefited by the penalty of always having the wind in
+his face,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_339" id="Page_339">{339}</a></span> for on his very numerous sea-journeys he could always secure
+a favourable breeze <i>by sitting with his back to the head of the boat</i>."</p>
+
+<p>The following additional tale from Mr. Mill's biography only brings into
+more striking relief the resource of the minister in all emergencies.
+"One day a very respectable gentleman entered the house of a tailor in
+Channerwick, and ordered a suit of clothes to be made out of cloth which
+he brought with him. The tailor's delight at having such a fine
+gentleman for a customer was, however, turned into perplexity and fear
+as he opened up the cloth and found that the colour kept constantly
+changing. He at once sent for the minister and laid the matter before
+him. He was advised to spread a sheet on the floor and cut the cloth
+upon it, so that none of the clippings should be scattered about the
+room, and the minister said that he would be present to meet the
+stranger when the latter called to get the clothes. The day came, and
+when the stranger entered the house, Mr. Mill stepped forward to meet
+him. A terrible controversy ensued, and the respectable-looking
+gentleman was swept out of the house in a cloud of blue, sulphurous
+flame. It is not recorded if he took the new suit with him. A clue to
+his identification was furnished by his accidentally striking his foot
+against the door-step as he departed. The result of the collision was
+that a mark as of a cloven hoof was imprinted on the stone."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_340" id="Page_340">{340}</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII"></a>CHAPTER VIII.<br />
+<br />
+<span style="font-size: 75%;">METRICAL AND SUPPLEMENTARY.</span></h2>
+
+
+<div class="center">
+<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="">
+<tr><td align="right">I.</td><td align="left"><a href="#ARRIVAL_OF_THE_MAIL-TRAIN_AT_A_HIGHLAND_STATION">Arrival of the Mail-train at a Highland Station.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">II.</td><td align="left"><a href="#DEFOE">Defoe, the Father of Journalism.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">III.</td><td align="left"><a href="#A_VILLAGE_TOPER">A Village Toper.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">IV.</td><td align="left"><a href="#A_REVEREND_HELLENIST">A Reverend Hellenist.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">V.</td><td align="left"><a href="#ANTIGONE">Antigone.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">VI.</td><td align="left"><a href="#SHADOWS_OF_THE_MANSE">Shadows of the Manse.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">VII.</td><td align="left"><a href="#MY_HEARTS_IN_THE_HIGHLANDS">"My Heart's in the Highlands."</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">VIII.</td><td align="left"><a href="#SADDELL">Saddell, Kintyre.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">IX.</td><td align="left"><a href="#SPRINGTIME_IN_PERTHSHIRE">Springtime in Perthshire.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">X.</td><td align="left"><a href="#DR_GEORGE_MACDONALDS_CREED">Dr. George Macdonald's Creed.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">XI.</td><td align="left"><a href="#ABBOTSFORD">Abbotsford.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">XII.</td><td align="left"><a href="#CARLYLE">Carlyle.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">XIII.</td><td align="left"><a href="#SHELLEY">Shelley.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">XIV.</td><td align="left"><a href="#PICTURE_IN_AN_INN">Picture in an Inn.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">XV.</td><td align="left"><a href="#RAIN-STORM_AT_LOCH_AWE">Rain-storm at Loch Awe.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">XVI.</td><td align="left"><a href="#KINLOCHEWE">Kinlochewe.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">XVII.</td><td align="left"><a href="#GENERAL_WADE">General Wade.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">XVIII.</td><td align="left"><a href="#THE_SOUND_OF_RAASAY_IN_DECEMBER">Sound of Raasay in December.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">XIX.</td><td align="left"><a href="#LES_NEIGES_DANTAN">Les Neiges d'&nbsp;Antan.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">XX.</td><td align="left"><a href="#THE_ISLANDS_OF_THE_NESS">The Islands of the Ness.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">XXI.</td><td align="left"><a href="#AMERICAN_TOURIST_LOQUITUR">American Tourist Loquitur.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">XXII.</td><td align="left"><a href="#THE_MINERS">The Miners.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">XXIII.</td><td align="left"><a href="#IN_A_COUNTRY_GRAVEYARD">In a Country Graveyard.</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align="right">XXIV.</td><td align="left"><a href="#NO_PLACE_LIKE_HOME">No Place like Home.</a></td></tr>
+</table></div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_341" id="Page_341">{341}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h3><a name="ARRIVAL_OF_THE_MAIL-TRAIN_AT_A_HIGHLAND_STATION" id="ARRIVAL_OF_THE_MAIL-TRAIN_AT_A_HIGHLAND_STATION"></a>I.<br />
+<br />
+ARRIVAL OF THE MAIL-TRAIN AT A HIGHLAND STATION.</h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"<i>Hark! 'tis the twanging horn.</i>" So Cowper sang<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of the slow post-boy by the flooded Ouse;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">In different fashion now the great world's news<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Goes to each nook of Britain. The harangue<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of politician; great events that hang<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">In Fortune's hand, with magic speed diffuse<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">From London's centre to the furthest Lews,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Their tingling rumour and resounding clang.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Daily along yon track of curving steels<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Comes to this Highland clachan, Watt's machine,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Rolling in triumph on its iron wheels,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And bringing letter, journal, magazine,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To kilted Celts with collies at their heels<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And frivolous tourists from the putting-green.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_342" id="Page_342">{342}</a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="DEFOE" id="DEFOE"></a>II.<br />
+<br />
+DEFOE<a name="FNanchor_34_34" id="FNanchor_34_34"></a><a href="#Footnote_34_34" class="fnanchor">[34]</a>
+<br />
+<span style="font-size: 75%;">(FATHER OF JOURNALISM).</span></h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Father of journalists! illustrious liar!<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Untiring wielder of the nimblest quill<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">That ever shed the stanchless inky rill<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Upon the virgin whiteness of the quire.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">What full and varied stores of gold and mire,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Magnificence and squalor, good and ill,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Prayers, curses, loyalty and treason fill<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Thy books! But that which children most admire<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of all thy hundred volumes, is the one<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Fated for ever more to charm mankind<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">From the far Orient to the Setting Sun.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Prompt-witted Daniel! thou has left behind<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Upon the Sands of Time, distinctly traced,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">One footmark that can never be effaced.<br /></span>
+</div><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_343" id="Page_343">{343}</a></span></div></div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+
+<h3><a name="A_VILLAGE_TOPER" id="A_VILLAGE_TOPER"></a>III.<br />
+<br />
+A VILLAGE TOPER.</h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">John loved strong waters and ne'er stirred his feet<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Abroad in leafy spring or summer's heat,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Autumnal breeze or winter's rimy chill,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Unsolaced by the nectar of the still.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Spirits came always kindly to his lips,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And time he measured not by hours but "nips."<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Teetotalers to him were curse and gall,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Grim Banquos at the world's wide festival,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Men, whom a weird and fate-ordainéd bale,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Had smitten with the hate of cakes and ale,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A soda-water, syphon-squirting crew,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Guilty of treason to the revenue:<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Their lurid language and their unctuous warnings,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Their moral-pointings and their tale-adornings,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And, worst of all, their shameful <i>waste of ink</i><br /></span>
+<span class="i0">In signing pledges to abstain from drink,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Proved them a witless and a churlish band,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Unfit to dwell in any Christian land.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_344" id="Page_344">{344}</a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="A_REVEREND_HELLENIST" id="A_REVEREND_HELLENIST"></a>IV.<br />
+<br />
+A REVEREND HELLENIST.</h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">In that old ivied manse exists<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">A scholar, wrinkled, bent, and gray,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">His student lamp gleams through the mists<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">And twinkles on till break of day.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">This sage is wedded to his books,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">And Sultan-like his harem's full,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">He dotes upon them in their nooks<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">With love and joy that never cool.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">No wonder that his back is bent,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Or that his eye has mystic glows,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">He pores on pages redolent<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Of love and love's undying rose.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">No earthly maiden, fresh and sweet,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Could please his fancy half so well<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">As a Greek nymph with twinkling feet<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Skipping in some Arcadian dell.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_345" id="Page_345">{345}</a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="ANTIGONE" id="ANTIGONE"></a>V.<br />
+<br />
+ANTIGONE
+<br />
+<span style="font-size: 75%;">(READ IN A HIGHLAND MANSE).</span></h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">A form of beauty blent with hardihood,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Majestic as Olympus wreathed in snows,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">What modern pages of romance disclose<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A radiant maiden of such dauntless mood!<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Yet, when the tyrant strives with outrage rude<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The unyielding maid in darkness to enclose,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Then, only then, her burning heart outflows<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">In anguished cries of love, but unsubdued<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">By baser throbbings. Ah! that nuptial hymn<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Unsung! that bond in death! All men agree<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To crown thee in that chamber dark and dim<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">With love's immortal wreath, Antigoné.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Since love and duty in thy death combine,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">An immortality of praise is thine.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_346" id="Page_346">{346}</a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="SHADOWS_OF_THE_MANSE" id="SHADOWS_OF_THE_MANSE"></a>VI.<br />
+<br />
+SHADOWS OF THE MANSE.</h3>
+
+<h4>I.</h4>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Lo! we have him of shaven face<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">And curls of long and lustrous hair,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Who breathes an atmosphere of grace<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">And has a wondrous gift in prayer.<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">You'd ne'er suspect to see him there,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Shaking his head in solemn guise,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2"><i>The college life of deil-may-care</i><br /></span>
+<span class="i0"><i>Diversion that behind him lies</i>.<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+
+<h4>II.</h4>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">And then the little starveling pope<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Who strives to make his sermons new<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">By stringing florid scraps of hope<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">And faith and love to dazzle you:<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">From Stopford Brooke a phrase or two,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A gleaming line from Arnold's page,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Whole screeds of Browning and a few<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Stolen thunders from the Chelsea sage.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_347" id="Page_347">{347}</a></span></div></div>
+
+
+<h4>III.</h4>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Perhaps the most diverting wight<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Is he who sees in Holy Writ<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Old Jewish fables gross and trite<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">To semblance of a system knit&mdash;<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Fables for modern taste unfit,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Until <i>he</i> cleans the dross away<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">And shows the tiny little bit<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of gold that gleams amid the clay.<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+
+<h4>IV.</h4>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">But worst of all is he who jests,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Or tries to jest, in pulpit gown,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Lord, save us from such holy pests<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Who so unseemly act the clown<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">And pull the tabernacle down<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To something worse than pantomime:<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">On all such zanies let us frown<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And scourge them both in prose and rhyme.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_348" id="Page_348">{348}</a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="MY_HEARTS_IN_THE_HIGHLANDS" id="MY_HEARTS_IN_THE_HIGHLANDS"></a>VII.<br />
+<br />"MY HEART'S IN THE HIGHLANDS."
+</h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Puzzling over musty tomes,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">What a life to lead,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">While each gay companion roams<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Where his fancies lead!<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">One beside a shady pool<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Sweeps the wave for hours,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Comes home with his basket full,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">When the evening lowers.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Some more energetic wights<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Leave the level land,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Mountaineer on dizzy heights,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Alpenstock in hand.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Others boat in sunny bays<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Where bright sands are seen<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Glimmering amid a maze<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Of tangled flowers marine.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Luck to all is what I wish<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">With a meed of fun,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">I'll row, mountaineer, and fish,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">When <i>your</i> sports are done.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_349" id="Page_349">{349}</a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="SADDELL" id="SADDELL"></a>VIII.<br />
+<br />
+SADDELL
+<br />
+<span style="font-size: 75%;">(KINTYRE).</span></h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Fresh gusts of wind ripple the ocean's face,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And the green slopes, after the night's soft rain,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Glitter beneath the blue.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Most glorious are the sea-descending glens,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Vivid with countless ferns, and with the blaze<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of sun-enamoured broom.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">The dark, tip-tilted rocks of cruel mood,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Show a stern beauty through the creamy foam<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">That flecks their rugged flanks.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">See, from this hill-top, how the blazing Sound<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Is marked by moving shadows of the clouds<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">That skim aloft in air.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Through the clear radiance of the freshened morn,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The eye can see the far farm-windows gleam<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Up on the Arran hills.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_350" id="Page_350">{350}</a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="SPRINGTIME_IN_PERTHSHIRE" id="SPRINGTIME_IN_PERTHSHIRE"></a>IX.<br />
+<br />
+SPRINGTIME IN PERTHSHIRE.</h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Returning Springtime fills the woods with song&mdash;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The ring-dove, sick for love, is cooing sweet;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The lark, scorning the daisies, soars to greet<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The sun, while the brown swarms of bees among<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The flowery meadows skim in haste along.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Once more the young year glories in the feat<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of driving winter off with vernal heat<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And tepid sap luxuriantly strong.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Winter has drawn aloof his snowy powers<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To the high peaks that domineer the plain,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And, like a vanquished leader, grimly lowers,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">From a safe distance, on the victor's reign.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">E'er many months have passed, his arrowy showers<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And gusty cohorts will descend again.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_351" id="Page_351">{351}</a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="DR_GEORGE_MACDONALDS_CREED" id="DR_GEORGE_MACDONALDS_CREED"></a>X.<br />
+<br />
+DR. GEORGE MACDONALD'S CREED.<a name="FNanchor_35_35" id="FNanchor_35_35"></a><a href="#Footnote_35_35" class="fnanchor">[35]</a>
+<br />
+<span style="font-size: 75%;">(WRITTEN AT CULLEN).</span></h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">God will not suffer that a single one<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of His own creatures, in His image made,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Should die, and in irrevocable shade<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Lie evermore&mdash;neglected and undone.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">It is not thus a father treats his son,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And those whose folly credits it, degrade<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">God's love and fatherhood, that never fade,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">By lies as base as devils ever spun.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Man's love is but a pale reflex of God's,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And God <i>is</i> love, and never will condemn<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Beyond remission&mdash;though He school with rods&mdash;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">His children, but will one day comfort them.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Dives will have his drink at last, and stand<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Among the faithful ones at God's right hand.<br /></span>
+</div></div></div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_352" id="Page_352">{352}</a></span></p>
+
+<h3><a name="ABBOTSFORD" id="ABBOTSFORD"></a>XI.<br />
+<br />
+ABBOTSFORD.</h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"Dryden and Scott, men of a giant seed!"<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">So said I to myself, gazing upon<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The pictured countenance of Glorious John,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">In Abbotsford, hard by the storied Tweed.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">These twain were brothers, kin in mind and deed:<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Old England never had a brawnier son<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Than Dryden; and in fervid Scotland none<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Better than Scott exemplified the breed.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">After five centuries of blood and hate,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Britain is one leal land from north to south,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">From gusty Thurso to St. Michael's Mount,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">I therefore, Scot and Briton, am elate<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To think that from Sir Walter's golden mouth<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Dryden's career received the fit account.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_353" id="Page_353">{353}</a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="CARLYLE" id="CARLYLE"></a>XII.<br />
+<br />
+CARLYLE
+<br />
+<span style="font-size: 75%;">(AT ECCLEFECHAN).</span></h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">The ploughman in the loamy furrow sings,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The sailor whistles as he reefs the sail,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Blithe is the smith as the blows fall like hail<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">From his huge hammer, and the stithy rings.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Work is the sole and sovereign balm that brings<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Peace to the torpid soul when doubts assail,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And sickening pleasures are of no avail<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To lull the torture of affliction's stings.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Give me the work I love, the work I feel<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">God in His Heaven has willed that I should do,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And you may offer the whole commonweal,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Lands, mansions, jewels, gold, and temples too,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Vainly to me. By strenuous work alone<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Man mounts on Jacob's ladder to God's throne.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_354" id="Page_354">{354}</a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="SHELLEY" id="SHELLEY"></a>XIII.<br />
+<br />
+SHELLEY.<a name="FNanchor_36_36" id="FNanchor_36_36"></a><a href="#Footnote_36_36" class="fnanchor">[36]</a></h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">'Twas but a passing visit that he paid<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To the gross air of earth, this mystic seer,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The tyrannies of sense were too severe<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">For one of clay more fine than Adam's made.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The inhumanity of man, the trade<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of coining gold from the serf's groan and tear,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The galling fetters of religious fear,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And vain ecclesiastic masquerade<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Tortured his gentle soul, and made his life<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">One bitter struggle with the powers that be:<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Yet not in vain he lived; his manful strife<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">With all the deadening despotisms we see<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Will ring along the centuries, until<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Good has her final triumph over ill.<br /></span>
+</div></div></div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_355" id="Page_355">{355}</a></span></p>
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="PICTURE_IN_AN_INN" id="PICTURE_IN_AN_INN"></a>XIV.<br />
+<br />
+PICTURE IN AN INN.</h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">A wood of pines through which the setting sun<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Pours from the western sky a parting flame,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Beside the shore, a church called by the name<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of some old saint whose pious race was run<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Long ere schismatic Luther had begun<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To work the Pope and his disciples shame.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">In earnest-seeming talk, a knight and dame<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Sit in a painted galley, rowed by one<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Whose back is to the setting orb of day.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The soldier and his mate, their faces lit<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">With all love's animation and the ray<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of the down-lapsing globe of crimson, sit<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Together in the gilded vessel's prow,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And there will sit for evermore, as now.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_356" id="Page_356">{356}</a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="RAIN-STORM_AT_LOCH_AWE" id="RAIN-STORM_AT_LOCH_AWE"></a>XV.<br />
+<br />
+RAIN-STORM AT LOCH AWE.</h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">The topmost mountain-snows are melting fast,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">See, how the swollen waters hurry down<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">In perpendicular runnels from the crown<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of every wreathéd hill. The train has past<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Beside a dark stream into which are cast<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A hundred huddling rills whose foam is brown<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">With pilfered soil. No dweller in a town<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Ever beheld such manifold and vast<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Torrents of roaring water. Each small isle<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Spaced on the loch, glooms through the hanging haze<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Like a dream-picture, and for many a mile<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Beneath those clouds that lean upon the braes<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Encompassing Loch Awe, the watery plain<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Is pricked with million lances of the rain.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_357" id="Page_357">{357}</a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="KINLOCHEWE" id="KINLOCHEWE"></a>XVI.<br />
+<br />
+KINLOCHEWE.</h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">The mist, retreating, gems the leaves with dew,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Soft blows the breeze along the fragrant meads,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A little brawling burn runs through the reeds<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And ripples away under the cloudless blue.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">I never saw the world so fair to view,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">For Spring has riven old Winter's funeral weeds<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And given new sap and vigour to the seeds<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">That lay inanimate the cold months through.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Old man! with jaded limbs and wrinkled brow,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">That walkest feebly in this lenient sun<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Like a day-dream, thy life is winter now.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">But life and death in ceaseless cycles run,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And tireless Time and Heaven have in store<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">For thee a myriad resurrections more.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_358" id="Page_358">{358}</a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="GENERAL_WADE" id="GENERAL_WADE"></a>XVII.<br />
+<br />
+GENERAL WADE.</h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Houses are fewer here than milestones are:<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">We stand a thousand feet aloft in air<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Upon a bouldered hillside stern and bare,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Down which the roadway serpentines afar.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">There are no clouds in the wide blue to mar<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The passage of the sun's imperial glare<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Over a dreary-stretching landscape, where<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Rough winds hold riot all the calendar.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Who that has footed o'er these firm-knit paths<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">But lauds the men whose strenuous axe and spade<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Drove roads through the wild glens and hilly straths<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Under the generalship of tireless Wade!<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">On the safe tracks behind them, commerce came<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The unruly spirit of the Celt to tame.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_359" id="Page_359">{359}</a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="THE_SOUND_OF_RAASAY_IN_DECEMBER" id="THE_SOUND_OF_RAASAY_IN_DECEMBER"></a>XVIII.<br />
+<br />
+THE SOUND OF RAASAY IN DECEMBER.</h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">A snowy gust is whirling down the strait,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Raasay is gleaming ghostly to the sight,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And, robed in lawn, from sea to topmost height<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Skye and her lordly mountains stand in state.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Ever from heaven falls the silent weight<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of wavering flakes that dim the stars of night.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Our gallant little boat with all the might<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of the wild-hissing surges holds debate,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Plunging and struggling, till at last we see<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A spacious haven, sudden and serene<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And, high aloft, the twinkle of Portree.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">At once the winds are hushed, the moon is seen<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To free her face from cloudy drift, and fill<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">With silver light the clefts of Essie Hill.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_360" id="Page_360">{360}</a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="LES_NEIGES_DANTAN" id="LES_NEIGES_DANTAN"></a>XIX.<br />
+<br />
+LES NEIGES D'ANTAN.</h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<h4>I.</h4>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Where is Macfee, that valiant preacher,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Gifted with voice, so harsh and loud,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Aye, louder and harsher than any screecher<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Of birds that sail on the black storm-cloud?<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">And his beadle John, with back so bowed,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Where is <i>he</i> that had never a peer?<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Is he too rolled in his mortal shroud?<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">But where are the snows of yester-year?<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<h4>II.</h4>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Donald the Gay, that steered his steamer<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Many a year through the Sound of Mull,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">He that was never a Celtic dreamer,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">But a captain of captains masterful:<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">O Death, thou madest the world more dull<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">When you nailed <i>him</i> down in his narrow bier,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">And sent his ghost into Charon's hull;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">But where are the snows of yester-year?<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<h4>III.</h4>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Duncan, the bard of rocky Staffin,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Away in the north of rainy Skye:<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Has <i>he</i> given over his rimes and daffin',<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">In the mould of the bleak kirkyard to lie?<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_361" id="Page_361">{361}</a></span><br /></span>
+<span class="i2">His cot was built where the sea-gulls fly,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And his misty isle to his soul was dear;<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Ere his song is finished, the bard must die;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">But where are the snows of yester-year?<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<h4>IV.</h4>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">And Dougal, who carried King Edward's mails<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Every day o'er the moor and heather,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Scorning the chill of the winter gales,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">And the ten-mile walk in the sultry weather:<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Has <i>he</i> too come to the end of his tether<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And gone to the ghosts with all his gear,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">His whistle, his satchel and strap of leather?<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">But where are the snows of yester-year?<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+
+<h4>V.</h4>
+
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Prince, they have gone from the regions that knew them,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Gone at the summons that none can resist,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Praise and every honour be to them,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">They did their best and they will be missed.<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">We, too, shall soon be erased from the list<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of workers below in this mortal sphere,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">And be no more to those that exist<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Than the vanished snows of yester-year.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_362" id="Page_362">{362}</a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="THE_ISLANDS_OF_THE_NESS" id="THE_ISLANDS_OF_THE_NESS"></a>XX.<br />
+<br />
+THE ISLANDS OF THE NESS.</h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">A fairyland of trees and leafy bowers<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Where one may sit and dream the hours away,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Or 'mid the devious walks and alleys stray,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">While perfume rises from a world of flowers,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The girdling river, swollen with upland showers,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Sends rippling round to every creek and bay<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The vagrant branches of his water-way;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Then gathering up his current's parted powers,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Swiftly-majestic in a broadening bed,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">He glistens on by many a chiming spire,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And past the castle's pennoned turrets red,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Till he attain the goal of his desire,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And into the salt sea exulting throws<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">His subsidy of rains and melted snows.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_363" id="Page_363">{363}</a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="AMERICAN_TOURIST_LOQUITUR" id="AMERICAN_TOURIST_LOQUITUR"></a>XXI.<br />
+<br />
+AMERICAN TOURIST LOQUITUR
+<br />
+<span style="font-size: 75%;">(AT BERRIEDALE, CAITHNESS).</span></h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">If I had wealth like Vanderbilt<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Or some such millionaire,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">I'd live in Scotland, don a kilt,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And <i>pay to prove</i> my forbears spilt<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Their blood in forays there.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">I'd buy a picturesque estate<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Beside the ocean's flow,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">With knolls of heather at my gate,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And pine-clad hills to dominate,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">The ferny dells below.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">I'd be a father to the folk<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">That laboured on the soil,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">With old and young I'd crack my joke,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Drink with them in their thirst, and smoke<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">The pipe that lightens toil.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">For hens I'd have a special run,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">For ducks a special pool,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">My calves should frolic in the sun,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">My sheep should be surpassed by none<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Whose backs are clothed with wool.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_364" id="Page_364">{364}</a></span><br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Although I'm not a Walton quite,<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Betweenwhiles I should try<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">To lure the finny tribe to bite<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">(At the right time, in the right light,)<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">My simulated fly.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">When winter heaped his rattling hail<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">High on the window sill,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">With pipe and wassail, rime and tale,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">I'd never miss the nightingale<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">Or cuckoo on the hill.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Nay, musing by the ingle-lowe<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">With summer in my brain,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">I'd cloth with leaves the frozen bough<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And all the ice-bound brooks endow<br /></span>
+<span class="i2">With tinkling life again.<a name="FNanchor_37_37" id="FNanchor_37_37"></a><a href="#Footnote_37_37" class="fnanchor">[37]</a><br /></span>
+</div></div></div>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_365" id="Page_365">{365}</a></span></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="THE_MINERS" id="THE_MINERS"></a>XXII.<br />
+<br />
+THE MINERS.</h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">The afternoon is cool and calm,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Near by flashes the mighty sea,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Inland rise green, dewy hills,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Crowned with eye-bewitching trees.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Suddenly the eye is amazed and terrified,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A hideous procession sordid and grimy<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Of men and boys, slaves of the coal-pit,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Is seen on the road, shaming the daylight.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">All the day long they work in the darkness,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Far from the songs of the birds and the sunshine,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Now they return to their sordid villages,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Ill-smelling rows of comfortless cottages.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">The rich and dainty ladies of fashion<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Stand aloof from these swart coal-hewers,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Are ready to swoon as the air is poisoned<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">With odours of subterranean foulness.<br /></span>
+</div><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Coarse of look, and of speech far coarser!<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Laughter loud with no merriment in it!<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">No more soul than the beasts that perish!<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">These are the men despised for their toiling.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_366" id="Page_366">{366}</a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="IN_A_COUNTRY_GRAVEYARD" id="IN_A_COUNTRY_GRAVEYARD"></a>XXIII.<br />
+<br />
+IN A COUNTRY GRAVEYARD.<a name="FNanchor_38_38" id="FNanchor_38_38"></a><a href="#Footnote_38_38" class="fnanchor">[38]</a></h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Man dreads the tomb, but dreads oblivion more;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">He fears, when death has loosed the load of years,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">His name shall cease to sound in mortal ears,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And, in the dusty darkness, all be o'er.<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Some o'er the scrolls of ample science pore,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Tome after tome the nimble authors write,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And gain a meed of glory: soon the night<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Comes: the author with his laurel disappears,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The painting fades, the marble busts decay,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The kingly structures fall in ruin down,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Devouring Time consumes the artist's prize,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The centuries like lightning pass away,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Or hurrying billows: emperor and clown<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Sink with the myriads in impartial clay.<br /></span>
+</div></div></div>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_367" id="Page_367">{367}</a></span></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<h3><a name="NO_PLACE_LIKE_HOME" id="NO_PLACE_LIKE_HOME"></a>XXIV.<br />
+<br />
+NO PLACE LIKE HOME.</h3>
+
+<div class='block'>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">Where'er these wandering footsteps lead me to,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Peak-dominated glen, hill where the sheep<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Graze in the sun, mountains that ever keep<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">A solemn guard o'er lakes profound and blue,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Or undulating tracts of treeless view;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">No matter if the rain and whirlwind sweep<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The landscape, or the gladdening sunshine peep<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Through muffled vapours that the winds undo;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Let it be night speckled with myriad fires,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Clear dawn, hot noon, or cool of dying day;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Be it in cities with their chiming spires,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Or country fields with fragrant ricks of hay;<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Ever the voices of my hearth I hear,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And muse on those to me for ever dear.<br /></span>
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_369" id="Page_369">{369}</a></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_368" id="Page_368"></a></span></div></div>
+</div>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<h2><a name="INDEX" id="INDEX"></a>INDEX
+<br />
+<span style="font-size: 75%;">(<span class="smcap">Chiefly of Proper Names</span>).</span></h2>
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Aberdeen, <a href="#Page_217">217</a></li>
+
+<li>Acharacle, <a href="#Page_21">21</a>, <a href="#Page_66">66</a></li>
+
+<li>Achnasheen, <a href="#Page_11">11</a></li>
+
+<li>Ainsworth, Mr., <a href="#Page_69">69</a></li>
+
+<li>Ajax, <a href="#Page_89">89</a></li>
+
+<li>Aliens, <a href="#Page_53">53</a></li>
+
+<li>Alness, <a href="#Page_75">75</a></li>
+
+<li>Altnacealgach, <a href="#Page_38">38</a></li>
+
+<li>Anacreon, <a href="#Page_181">181</a></li>
+
+<li>Anglers, <a href="#Page_36">36</a></li>
+
+<li>Anecdotes of Commercials, <a href="#Page_255">255</a>-<a href="#Page_277">277</a></li>
+
+<li>Appin, <a href="#Page_311">311</a></li>
+
+<li>Ardeonaig, <a href="#Page_78">78</a></li>
+
+<li>Ardersier, <a href="#Page_42">42</a></li>
+
+<li>Argyll, Duke of, <a href="#Page_25">25</a></li>
+
+<li>Arnisdale, <a href="#Page_190">190</a></li>
+
+<li>Arnold, <a href="#Page_130">130</a></li>
+
+<li>Arpafeelie, <a href="#Page_158">158</a></li>
+
+<li>Asquith, Mr., <a href="#Page_15">15</a></li>
+
+<li>Auldearn, <a href="#Page_75">75</a></li>
+
+<li>Avebury, Lord, <a href="#Page_198">198</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Bagpipes, <a href="#Page_66">66</a></li>
+
+<li>Bain, Professor, <a href="#Page_55">55</a></li>
+
+<li>Ballads, <a href="#Page_99">99</a></li>
+
+<li>Banff theorist, <a href="#Page_107">107</a></li>
+
+<li>Barrie, Mr., <a href="#Page_66">66</a></li>
+
+<li>Battle of Brunanburh, <a href="#Page_131">131</a></li>
+
+<li>Beauly, <a href="#Page_75">75</a></li>
+
+<li>Ben Eay, <a href="#Page_22">22</a></li>
+
+<li>Ben-na-Ceallich, <a href="#Page_28">28</a></li>
+
+<li>Bennachie, <a href="#Page_329">329</a></li>
+
+<li>Ben Screel, <a href="#Page_191">191</a></li>
+
+<li>Ben Slioch, <a href="#Page_22">22</a></li>
+
+<li>Beowulf, <a href="#Page_131">131</a>, <a href="#Page_246">246</a></li>
+
+<li>Beveridge, Dr., <a href="#Page_301">301</a></li>
+
+<li>Biggar, <a href="#Page_98">98</a></li>
+
+<li>Biblia abiblia, <a href="#Page_109">109</a></li>
+
+<li>Blackie, Professor, <a href="#Page_19">19</a>, <a href="#Page_56">56</a></li>
+
+<li>Books, second-hand, <a href="#Page_112">112</a></li>
+
+<li>Borders, <a href="#Page_96">96</a>, <a href="#Page_99">99</a></li>
+
+<li>Boswell, <a href="#Page_306">306</a>, <a href="#Page_313">313</a></li>
+
+<li>Brahan Seer, <a href="#Page_291">291</a></li>
+
+<li>Bressay, <a href="#Page_221">221</a>, <a href="#Page_229">229</a>, <a href="#Page_230">230</a>, <a href="#Page_233">233</a></li>
+
+<li>Broadford, <a href="#Page_28">28</a>, <a href="#Page_55">55</a></li>
+
+<li>Browning, <a href="#Page_306">306</a></li>
+
+<li>Buchanan, <a href="#Page_61">61</a></li>
+
+<li>Bullers of Buchan, <a href="#Page_220">220</a></li>
+
+<li>Burgess, Mr., <a href="#Page_227">227</a></li>
+
+<li>Burke, <a href="#Page_68">68</a></li>
+
+<li>Burns, <a href="#Page_82">82</a>, <a href="#Page_144">144</a>, <a href="#Page_308">308</a></li>
+
+<li>Burton, <a href="#Page_209">209</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Caithness father, a, <a href="#Page_254">254</a></li>
+
+<li>Captains, <a href="#Page_24">24</a></li>
+
+<li>Catholics, <a href="#Page_153">153</a>-<a href="#Page_155">155</a></li>
+
+<li>Chairmen, <a href="#Page_85">85</a></li>
+
+<li>Chartists, <a href="#Page_54">54</a></li>
+
+<li>Coll, <a href="#Page_26">26</a>, <a href="#Page_69">69</a></li>
+
+<li>Columbus, <a href="#Page_88">88</a></li>
+
+<li>Commercials (<a href="#CHAPTER_VI">Chap. VI.</a>), <a href="#Page_255">255</a>-<a href="#Page_277">277</a></li>
+
+<li>Competing School-subjects, <a href="#Page_215">215</a></li>
+
+<li>Congested Districts Board, <a href="#Page_34">34</a></li>
+
+<li>Connaught, H.R.H. Duke of, <a href="#Page_42">42</a></li>
+
+<li>Connington, <a href="#Page_119">119</a></li>
+
+<li>Corelli, Miss Marie, <a href="#Page_44">44</a></li>
+
+<li>Cowper, <a href="#Page_118">118</a></li>
+
+<li>Craignish, <a href="#Page_168">168</a>-<a href="#Page_169">9</a></li>
+
+<li>Crofters' cottages, <a href="#Page_29">29</a>-<a href="#Page_30">30</a></li>
+
+<li>Cromarty, <a href="#Page_12">12</a></li>
+
+<li>Cullen, <a href="#Page_47">47</a></li>
+
+<li><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_370" id="Page_370">{370}</a></span>Cunningsburgh, <a href="#Page_239">239</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Dancing, <a href="#Page_21">21</a></li>
+
+<li>Dandie Dinmont, <a href="#Page_99">99</a></li>
+
+<li>Defoe, <a href="#Page_112">112</a></li>
+
+<li>Depopulation, <a href="#Page_71">71</a>, <a href="#Page_189">189</a></li>
+
+<li>Dingwall, <a href="#Page_44">44</a></li>
+
+<li>Dixon, Mr., <a href="#Page_76">76</a>, <a href="#Page_278">278</a></li>
+
+<li>Doctors, <a href="#Page_35">35</a></li>
+
+<li>Dodger, an artful, <a href="#Page_173">173</a></li>
+
+<li>Dominies, insular, <a href="#Page_180">180</a>-<a href="#Page_181">1</a></li>
+
+<li>Dowden, Professor, <a href="#Page_124">124</a></li>
+
+<li>Drimnin, <a href="#Page_167">167</a></li>
+
+<li>Dryden, <a href="#Page_118">118</a></li>
+
+<li>Dunbar, <a href="#Page_218">218</a></li>
+
+<li>Dungeon lecture, a, <a href="#Page_92">92</a></li>
+
+<li>Dunvegan, <a href="#Page_28">28</a>, <a href="#Page_61">61</a>, <a href="#Page_292">292</a></li>
+
+<li>Durness, <a href="#Page_11">11</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Educational (<a href="#CHAPTER_IV">Chap. IV.</a>), <a href="#Page_180">180</a>-<a href="#Page_216">216</a></li>
+
+<li>Education Department, <a href="#Page_16">16</a>, <a href="#Page_141">141</a>, <a href="#Page_185">185</a></li>
+
+<li>Eigg, <a href="#Page_26">26</a></li>
+
+<li>Emigration, <a href="#Page_73">73</a>-<a href="#Page_74">4</a></li>
+
+<li>Episcopalians, <a href="#Page_156">156</a>-<a href="#Page_158">8</a></li>
+
+<li>Essayists, <a href="#Page_106">106</a></li>
+
+<li>Established Church, <a href="#Page_145">145</a></li>
+
+<li>Ethical teaching, <a href="#Page_141">141</a>-<a href="#Page_143">3</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Fairies, <a href="#Page_248">248</a>, <a href="#Page_285">285</a></li>
+
+<li>Fair Isle, <a href="#Page_220">220</a>, <a href="#Page_250">250</a></li>
+
+<li>Faith Mission, <a href="#Page_25">25</a></li>
+
+<li>Feeding the Hungry, <a href="#Page_186">186</a>, <a href="#Page_194">194</a></li>
+
+<li><i>Fernaig MS.</i>, <a href="#Page_197">197</a></li>
+
+<li>Fishing season, <a href="#Page_253">253</a></li>
+
+<li>Fishwives, <a href="#Page_249">249</a></li>
+
+<li>Fladibister, <a href="#Page_239">239</a></li>
+
+<li>Fort George, <a href="#Page_42">42</a></li>
+
+<li>Foulah, <a href="#Page_250">250</a></li>
+
+<li>French Literature, <a href="#Page_126">126</a></li>
+
+<li>Frere, Miss, <a href="#Page_39">39</a>, <a href="#Page_40">40</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Gairloch, <a href="#Page_278">278</a></li>
+
+<li>Gaelic, <a href="#Page_17">17</a>, <a href="#Page_86">86</a></li>
+
+<li>Geologist, an ordained, <a href="#Page_170">170</a></li>
+
+<li>Germany, made in, <a href="#Page_218">218</a></li>
+
+<li>Gibbon, <a href="#Page_300">300</a></li>
+
+<li>Gigha, <a href="#Page_175">175</a></li>
+
+<li>Gipsies, <a href="#Page_191">191</a></li>
+
+<li>Glasgow Fair, <a href="#Page_96">96</a></li>
+
+<li><i>Glasgow Herald</i>, quoted, <a href="#Page_20">20</a>, <a href="#Footnote_2_2">note</a></li>
+
+<li>Glenelg, <a href="#Page_191">191</a></li>
+
+<li>Golspie, <a href="#Page_192">192</a></li>
+
+<li>Grange, <a href="#Page_299">299</a></li>
+
+<li>Grantown, <a href="#Page_13">13</a></li>
+
+<li>Greatness, real, <a href="#Page_81">81</a></li>
+
+<li>Greek, <a href="#Page_124">124</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Haaf-words, <a href="#Page_246">246</a></li>
+
+<li>Halsbury, Lord, <a href="#Page_235">235</a></li>
+
+<li>Harlaw, <a href="#Page_330">330</a></li>
+
+<li>Harris, <a href="#Page_39">39</a></li>
+
+<li>Hector, Red, <a href="#Page_320">320</a></li>
+
+<li>Hermits, <a href="#Page_223">223</a></li>
+
+<li>Hobbes, <a href="#Page_106">106</a></li>
+
+<li>Holyoake, Mr., <a href="#Page_60">60</a></li>
+
+<li>Homer, <a href="#Page_62">62</a></li>
+
+<li>Horace, <a href="#Page_12">12</a>, <a href="#Page_115">115</a></li>
+
+<li>Hotels, <a href="#Page_36">36</a></li>
+
+<li>Howlers, <a href="#Page_209">209</a>-<a href="#Page_214">214</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Inspectors, <a href="#Page_252">252</a></li>
+
+<li>Inveraray, <a href="#Page_307">307</a></li>
+
+<li>Inverness, <a href="#Page_48">48</a>, <a href="#Page_58">58</a></li>
+
+<li>Iona, <a href="#Page_309">309</a></li>
+
+<li>Islay, <a href="#Page_79">79</a></li>
+
+<li>Isle Ornsay, <a href="#Page_191">191</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Jakobsen, Dr., <a href="#Page_245">245</a></li>
+
+<li>Jamieson, Dr., <a href="#Page_103">103</a></li>
+
+<li>Johnson, <a href="#Page_29">29</a>, <a href="#Page_43">43</a>, <a href="#Page_294">294</a>, <a href="#Page_306">306</a></li>
+
+<li>Josephus, <a href="#Page_111">111</a></li>
+
+<li>Jura, <a href="#Page_195">195</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Killin, <a href="#Page_78">78</a></li>
+
+<li>Kilmartin, <a href="#Page_76">76</a></li>
+
+<li>Kiltarlity, <a href="#Page_75">75</a></li>
+
+<li>Kingussie, <a href="#Page_326">326</a></li>
+
+<li>Kinlochewe, <a href="#Page_22">22</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Lanark, <a href="#Page_97">97</a></li>
+
+<li>Lang, Mr. Andrew, <a href="#Page_17">17</a>, <a href="#Page_37">37</a></li>
+
+<li>Latin, <a href="#Page_204">204</a></li>
+
+<li>Lerwick, <a href="#Page_221">221</a>-<a href="#Page_222">2</a></li>
+
+<li>Letter-boats, <a href="#Page_299">299</a></li>
+
+<li>Lewis, <a href="#Page_32">32</a>, <a href="#Page_33">33</a></li>
+
+<li>Libraries in schools, <a href="#Page_16">16</a></li>
+
+<li>Liddesdale, <a href="#Page_99">99</a></li>
+
+<li><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_371" id="Page_371">{371}</a></span>Literature, <a href="#Page_83">83</a></li>
+
+<li>Lochaber, <a href="#Page_332">332</a></li>
+
+<li>Lochaline, <a href="#Page_168">168</a></li>
+
+<li>Lochbuie, <a href="#Page_304">304</a></li>
+
+<li>Loch Broom, <a href="#Page_286">286</a></li>
+
+<li>Loch Eck, <a href="#Page_79">79</a></li>
+
+<li>Loch Fyne, <a href="#Page_317">317</a></li>
+
+<li>Loch Hourn, <a href="#Page_190">190</a></li>
+
+<li>Lochmaddy, <a href="#Page_36">36</a>, <a href="#Page_40">40</a></li>
+
+<li>Loch Maree, <a href="#Page_283">283</a></li>
+
+<li>Loch Ranza, <a href="#Page_196">196</a></li>
+
+<li>Loubet, M., <a href="#Page_118">118</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Mallaig, <a href="#Page_32">32</a></li>
+
+<li>Mary, the maid of the inn, <a href="#Page_258">258</a></li>
+
+<li>Martin, Sir Theodore, <a href="#Page_119">119</a></li>
+
+<li><i>Men of Skye</i>, <a href="#Page_150">150</a></li>
+
+<li>Military, <a href="#Page_42">42</a></li>
+
+<li>Mill, Rev. Mr., <a href="#Page_338">338</a>-<a href="#Page_339">9</a></li>
+
+<li>Miller, an ordained, <a href="#Page_172">172</a></li>
+
+<li>Milton, <a href="#Page_154">154</a></li>
+
+<li>Miners, <a href="#Page_49">49</a>, <a href="#Page_51">51</a>, <a href="#Page_52">52</a></li>
+
+<li>Mod, the, <a href="#Page_18">18</a></li>
+
+<li>Model minister, a, <a href="#Page_170">170</a></li>
+
+<li>Moderates, the, <a href="#Page_144">144</a>-<a href="#Page_145">5</a></li>
+
+<li>Moon, the, <a href="#Page_77">77</a></li>
+
+<li>M.P.'s, <a href="#Page_69">69</a></li>
+
+<li>Moray Firth, <a href="#Page_46">46</a></li>
+
+<li>Morar, <a href="#Page_154">154</a></li>
+
+<li>Morley, Lord, <a href="#Page_118">118</a></li>
+
+<li>Muck, <a href="#Page_267">267</a></li>
+
+<li>Munro, Dr. Neil, <a href="#Page_44">44</a>, <a href="#Page_318">318</a></li>
+
+<li>Murray, Sir James, <a href="#Page_103">103</a></li>
+
+<li>Music, <a href="#Page_65">65</a>-<a href="#Page_67">67</a>, <a href="#Page_141">141</a></li>
+
+<li>Macallisters, etc., <a href="#Page_318">318</a></li>
+
+<li>Macbain, Dr., <a href="#Page_58">58</a></li>
+
+<li>M'Cheyne, <a href="#Page_90">90</a></li>
+
+<li>Macdonald, Dr. George, <a href="#Page_48">48</a></li>
+
+<li>Macdonald's gratitude, <a href="#Page_313">313</a></li>
+
+<li>Macdonald, Rev. Mr., <a href="#Page_146">146</a></li>
+
+<li>M'Gregors, the, <a href="#Page_91">91</a></li>
+
+<li>Macivors, <a href="#Page_318">318</a></li>
+
+<li>Mackays, the, <a href="#Page_337">337</a></li>
+
+<li>Macleod, <a href="#Page_61">61</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Nicholson, Sheriff, <a href="#Page_185">185</a></li>
+
+<li><i>Night Thoughts</i>, <a href="#Page_64">64</a></li>
+
+<li>Norse blood, <a href="#Page_183">183</a>, <a href="#Page_225">225</a></li>
+
+<li>"North, Christopher," <a href="#Page_107">107</a>, <a href="#Page_167">167</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Olaf and his bride, <a href="#Page_279">279</a></li>
+
+<li>Old Parochials, <a href="#Page_200">200</a></li>
+
+<li>Ossian, <a href="#Page_326">326</a>-<a href="#Page_339">339</a></li>
+
+<li>Ovid, <a href="#Page_300">300</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Paisley, <a href="#Page_89">89</a></li>
+
+<li>Parish Councils, <a href="#Page_187">187</a></li>
+
+<li>Paul, St., <a href="#Page_132">132</a></li>
+
+<li>Peat-reek, <a href="#Page_29">29</a></li>
+
+<li>Peden, the prophet, <a href="#Page_292">292</a></li>
+
+<li>Peterhead, <a href="#Page_220">220</a></li>
+
+<li>Phillimore, Professor, <a href="#Page_206">206</a>, <a href="#Footnote_24_24">note</a></li>
+
+<li>Pigmentation, <a href="#Page_133">133</a></li>
+
+<li>Plymouth Brethren, <a href="#Page_162">162</a>-<a href="#Page_165">5</a></li>
+
+<li>Poetry (<a href="#CHAPTER_VIII">Chap. VIII.</a>), <a href="#Page_340">340</a>-<a href="#Page_367">367</a></li>
+
+<li>Policemen, <a href="#Page_23">23</a></li>
+
+<li>Poolewe, <a href="#Page_67">67</a>, <a href="#Page_76">76</a></li>
+
+<li>Pope, <a href="#Page_115">115</a>, <a href="#Page_119">119</a>, <a href="#Page_123">123</a>, <a href="#Page_127">127</a>-<a href="#Page_129">9</a></li>
+
+<li>Pope, Rev. Alexander, <a href="#Page_334">334</a>-<a href="#Page_336">6</a></li>
+
+<li>Portknockie, <a href="#Page_47">47</a></li>
+
+<li>Portree, <a href="#Page_27">27</a>, <a href="#Page_76">76</a></li>
+
+<li>Portsoy, <a href="#Page_46">46</a>, <a href="#Page_47">47</a></li>
+
+<li>Postmen, <a href="#Page_28">28</a></li>
+
+<li>Prince Charlie, <a href="#Page_44">44</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Quarff, <a href="#Page_234">234</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Raasay, <a href="#Page_26">26</a></li>
+
+<li>Ramsay, Sir William, <a href="#Page_207">207</a></li>
+
+<li><i>Rasmie's Büdie</i>, <a href="#Page_227">227</a></li>
+
+<li>Rats, <a href="#Page_37">37</a></li>
+
+<li>Reay, <a href="#Page_333">333</a>-<a href="#Page_336">6</a></li>
+
+<li>"Red-riding Hood," <a href="#Page_142">142</a></li>
+
+<li>Religious books, <a href="#Page_18">18</a></li>
+
+<li>Rob Don, <a href="#Page_337">337</a></li>
+
+<li>Robertson, Mr. J. M., <a href="#Page_41">41</a></li>
+
+<li>"Rob Roy," <a href="#Page_183">183</a></li>
+
+<li>Romance and Augustanism, <a href="#Page_127">127</a></li>
+
+<li>Rosebery, Lord, <a href="#Page_297">297</a></li>
+
+<li>Rosehearty, <a href="#Page_49">49</a></li>
+
+<li>Rothes, <a href="#Page_325">325</a></li>
+
+<li>Royal Engineers, <a href="#Page_69">69</a></li>
+
+<li>Ruskin, <a href="#Page_177">177</a></li>
+
+<li>Russian merchant, a, <a href="#Page_254">254</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Sabbath, the, <a href="#Page_148">148</a></li>
+
+<li><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_372" id="Page_372">{372}</a></span>Saddell, <a href="#Page_92">92</a></li>
+
+<li>St. Kilda, <a href="#Page_297">297</a></li>
+
+<li>Salen, <a href="#Page_90">90</a></li>
+
+<li>Sandwick, <a href="#Page_246">246</a></li>
+
+<li>Saxon and Celt, <a href="#Page_41">41</a>, <a href="#Page_131">131</a></li>
+
+<li>Scalloway, <a href="#Page_62">62</a></li>
+
+<li>School Boards, <a href="#Page_184">184</a></li>
+
+<li>Science and Literature, <a href="#Page_198">198</a></li>
+
+<li>Scotch Dialect, <a href="#Page_103">103</a></li>
+
+<li>Scott, <a href="#Page_84">84</a>, <a href="#Page_107">107</a>, <a href="#Page_183">183</a>, <a href="#Page_199">199</a>, <a href="#Page_312">312</a>, <a href="#Page_315">315</a></li>
+
+<li>Sea-sickness, <a href="#Page_31">31</a></li>
+
+<li>Sermons in metre, <a href="#Page_159">159</a>-<a href="#Page_161">161</a></li>
+
+<li>Session Records, <a href="#Page_44">44</a></li>
+
+<li>Shakespeare's Sonnets, <a href="#Page_119">119</a></li>
+
+<li>Shaws and Grants, <a href="#Page_323">323</a></li>
+
+<li>Shetlands (<a href="#CHAPTER_V">Chap. V.</a>), <a href="#Page_217">217</a>-<a href="#Page_254">254</a></li>
+
+<li>Sidlaws, <a href="#Page_193">193</a></li>
+
+<li>Skye, <a href="#Page_28">28</a>, <a href="#Page_61">61</a></li>
+
+<li>Sound of Sleat, <a href="#Page_26">26</a></li>
+
+<li>Spencer, <a href="#Page_229">229</a></li>
+
+<li>Spenser, <a href="#Page_128">128</a></li>
+
+<li>Staffin, <a href="#Page_66">66</a></li>
+
+<li>Stewart, Dugald, <a href="#Page_208">208</a></li>
+
+<li>Stornoway, <a href="#Page_32">32</a>-<a href="#Page_34">4</a></li>
+
+<li>Strachur, <a href="#Page_79">79</a></li>
+
+<li>Suetonius, <a href="#Page_113">113</a></li>
+
+<li>Surprises, <a href="#Page_195">195</a></li>
+
+<li>Sutherland, Duchess of, <a href="#Page_33">33</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Taisch, <a href="#Page_290">290</a></li>
+
+<li>Tarbolton, <a href="#Page_102">102</a></li>
+
+<li>Tannahill, <a href="#Page_54">54</a>, <a href="#Page_90">90</a></li>
+
+<li>Tea-drinking, <a href="#Page_39">39</a></li>
+
+<li>Tee-names, <a href="#Page_47">47</a></li>
+
+<li>Teeth, <a href="#Page_40">40</a></li>
+
+<li>Tennyson, <a href="#Page_130">130</a></li>
+
+<li>Tiree, <a href="#Page_301">301</a></li>
+
+<li>"Tom Eunan," <a href="#Page_322">322</a></li>
+
+<li>Trossachs, <a href="#Page_315">315</a></li>
+
+<li>Truants, <a href="#Page_196">196</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Ullapool, <a href="#Page_290">290</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Village halls, <a href="#Page_75">75</a></li>
+
+<li>Virgil, <a href="#Page_24">24</a>, <a href="#Page_219">219</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Ward, Mrs. H., <a href="#Page_182">182</a></li>
+
+<li>War Office, <a href="#Page_45">45</a></li>
+
+<li>Wason, Mr. C., <a href="#Page_250">250</a></li>
+
+<li>Watson, Mr. William, <a href="#Page_118">118</a>, <a href="#Page_218">218</a></li>
+
+<li>Weaving, <a href="#Page_53">53</a></li>
+
+<li>Weir, Mr. Galloway, <a href="#Page_15">15</a>, <a href="#Page_70">70</a></li>
+
+<li>Whalsay, <a href="#Page_193">193</a></li>
+
+<li>Whiting Bay, <a href="#Page_197">197</a></li>
+
+<li>Wordsworth, <a href="#Page_21">21</a>, <a href="#Page_128">128</a>, <a href="#Page_309">309</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<ul class="IX"><li>Xenophon, <a href="#Page_122">122</a></li></ul>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<h2>FOOTNOTES.</h2>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> Let the southern reader remember that a boy born in a city
+like Glasgow has, as respects opportunities of getting on, infinitely
+better chances than a lad of equal ability born in a Highland village.
+The crofter's son has no reading-room with costly works of reference,
+scientific manuals, English translations of Latin authors, etc., to go
+to when he is in need of help. He begins the battle of life at a very
+serious disadvantage, and often gives up the fight altogether. Anything
+that tends to equalise the chances of town and country, from the point
+of view of mental equipment, would do more general good to Scotland, by
+bettering the available brain power, than any half-dozen Acts of
+Parliament taken at random.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_2" id="Footnote_2_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_2"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> In an editorial of June 6, 1908, the <i>Glasgow Herald</i>
+excellently says:&mdash;"The first requisite for a Highlander is such a
+knowledge of English as will open up to him the lucrative employment
+from which ignorance of English must shut him out, and it is no kindness
+to him to interfere with his acquisition of this indispensable
+accomplishment.... So good a Gael as Professor Magnus Maclean has
+observed that 'even more remarkable than the dearth of philosophical and
+dramatic poems, and, we might add, of narrative and pastoral poetry
+proper, is the scarcity of Gaelic prose.' By all means, however, let a
+literary knowledge of the Gaelic language be encouraged among
+Gaelic-speaking children. It is a very different matter to enforce such
+steps as would lead to the teaching of Gaelic to children that live
+indeed in Gaelic-speaking districts but yet speak only English."</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_3_3" id="Footnote_3_3"></a><a href="#FNanchor_3_3"><span class="label">[3]</span></a> Coll is also a very interesting island for the antiquarian.
+It contains distinct traces of twenty-nine Hill-forts or Duns, so that
+there must have been lively times out there long ago. Some fine shells,
+beads, pins and pottery have been found in the prehistoric
+<i>kitchen-middens</i>. Before the Reformation the island was thickly
+peopled, and sites of old churches and deserted crofts are numerous.
+Coll has gone back in population; in 1901 it had 432 inhabitants; in
+1755 the number of natives was 1,193.</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_4_4" id="Footnote_4_4"></a><a href="#FNanchor_4_4"><span class="label">[4]</span></a> At Spean Bridge there is a worthy old farmer, Mr. Chalmers,
+who has a widespread fame for dexterous bone-setting, a talent which is
+said to have descended to him from a long line of forbears. A young
+gentleman from Glasgow was in the hotel there during my stay, and from
+personal experience spoke of Mr. Chalmers's remarkable powers. He told
+me that patients come from far and near (after eminent surgeons have
+failed to give benefit), in order to be treated at Spean Bridge.</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_5_5" id="Footnote_5_5"></a><a href="#FNanchor_5_5"><span class="label">[5]</span></a> The student of eugenics will note that among the
+tea-bibbing islanders of the west the teeth of the natives are poor. My
+experience tends to show that the best teeth in Scotland are to be found
+in Aberdeenshire. When a Buchan audience laughs, there is a gleam of
+polished ivory that is very impressive; but rural Aberdeen has deviated
+less into slops than any other part of Britain.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_6_6" id="Footnote_6_6"></a><a href="#FNanchor_6_6"><span class="label">[6]</span></a> "There are probably now more persons of Highland descent in
+the Lowlands than in the Highlands themselves."&mdash;<i>Scotland of To-Day</i>,
+by Henderson and Watt, p. 300. See also note at end of chapter on
+Inverness surnames, etc.</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_7_7" id="Footnote_7_7"></a><a href="#FNanchor_7_7"><span class="label">[7]</span></a> I have heard it maintained by some zealots, whom I greatly
+esteem, that Gaelic is a highly <i>moral</i> language, that the use of it
+conduces to purity of life and thought, and that everyone would be
+improved in tone by contact with its roots. Those ministers who have
+charge of Session Records, chronicling events that happened before
+English was known in the West, cannot unreservedly corroborate these
+views.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_8_8" id="Footnote_8_8"></a><a href="#FNanchor_8_8"><span class="label">[8]</span></a> In his book, <i>Edinburgh and its Neighbourhood</i>, Hugh Miller
+tells the following story, on the authority of Robert Chambers:&mdash;"Though
+legally only transferable with the works and the minerals to which they
+were attached, cases occasionally occurred in which miners were actually
+transferred <i>by sale</i> from one part of the country to another. During
+the early part of the XIXth century, the son of an extensive
+coal-proprietor was examining with a friend the pits of another
+proprietor, and finding a collier whose speech resembled that of the
+colliers of his own district, he inquired where he came from. 'Oh!'
+exclaimed the man with surprise, 'd'ye no' ken me? <i>Do ye no' ken that
+your faither sell't me for a powny?</i>'"</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_9_9" id="Footnote_9_9"></a><a href="#FNanchor_9_9"><span class="label">[9]</span></a> Such emigration has, of course, nothing to do with the
+systematic work instituted by Mr. William Quarrier of Bridge of Weir.
+That devout philanthropist occupied himself with the waifs and strays of
+Glasgow, taught them trades, and sent large numbers of them to the
+colonies to learn farming. One Saturday, in 1907, I saw a hundred and
+twenty of these lads, who were on Bridge of Weir platform waiting for
+the train. The scene was pathetic in the extreme&mdash;enough to melt a heart
+of nether millstone. Many of the lads were in tears as they answered the
+roll-call for the last time. In the afternoon they (and over two
+thousand emigrants) left the Clyde, amid sobs, cheers, and the waving of
+multitudinous handkerchiefs. These boys go, in the first instance, to
+Brockville, in the province of Ontario, whence they are distributed out
+among the Canadian farmers.</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_10_10" id="Footnote_10_10"></a><a href="#FNanchor_10_10"><span class="label">[10]</span></a> It is not often possible, in the <i>islands</i>, to get
+anything but a trap or open coach. In Lochranza, on a day of dreary,
+disheartening rain, I found on enquiry that there was no covered vehicle
+to be had except the <i>hearse</i>.</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_11_11" id="Footnote_11_11"></a><a href="#FNanchor_11_11"><span class="label">[11]</span></a> Islay is yearly becoming better known. It is an undulating
+island, covered with rich meadow-land, the home of horses, sheep, and
+cattle. There should not be a hungry man within its circumference. Under
+the old lairds&mdash;the Campbells&mdash;there were 14,000 inhabitants, now there
+are 6000.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_12_12" id="Footnote_12_12"></a><a href="#FNanchor_12_12"><span class="label">[12]</span></a> Judging from the number of clans that make a similar
+claim, we might fancy that all King Arthur's knights
+</p>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i8">"Gartened low their leg,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And rowed their hurdies in a philabeg."<br /></span>
+</div></div></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_13_13" id="Footnote_13_13"></a><a href="#FNanchor_13_13"><span class="label">[13]</span></a> A favourite and appropriate book in this part of Scotland
+is Wilson's <i>Tales of the Borders</i>. There are not many farm-houses in
+the Lowlands of Scotland in which one does not find old copies, bound
+and unbound, of Wilson's <i>Tales</i>. Usually they show unmistakable
+evidence of having been frequently perused. One is bound to admit that
+the modern reader, if he spends an evening turning over these old pages,
+will find little reason to pride himself on the superiority of the
+popular reading of to-day. The short story, now in vogue, may be finely
+illustrated, and highly sensational, but its matter is certainly
+inferior, as a rule, to the general run of Wilson's stories. Wilson, in
+his humble way, was a gleaner in the field so richly harvested by Sir
+Walter Scott. <i>The Minstrelsy of the Scottish Border</i> had called
+attention to the great stores of poetry and romance lingering among the
+peasantry of the Debateable Land. Wilson's <i>Tales</i> showed how much of
+the old spirit remained more than two centuries after the Union, and, in
+spite of all Christianity and an orderly Government had done for the
+softening of manners. Hogg, in speaking of his own countryside, said:
+"The poor people of these glens know no other entertainment in the long
+winter nights than repeating and listening to the feats of their
+ancestors recorded in songs which I believe to have been handed down
+from father to son for many generations." Wilson and his successors
+gathered up as much of the romantic material as they found available,
+and printed it for the delight of their generation.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_14_14" id="Footnote_14_14"></a><a href="#FNanchor_14_14"><span class="label">[14]</span></a> Mr. Lee has collected an amount of evidence which seems to
+prove that T. T., <i>i.e.</i>, Thomas Thorpe, who wrote the dedication, was
+not only a piratical publisher, but also a humourist. The dedication,
+read in the light of these observations, acquires a character of
+jocularity, and <i>begetter</i> means <i>procurer</i> or <i>getter</i>. Thorpe thus
+becomes what we know Curll to have been a century later, a printer of
+stolen copy, with a turn for cynical waggery. Mr. W. H., the begetter,
+accordingly, is not a glittering aristocrat, but an unscrupulous
+go-between, who has made free with somebody's escritoire, and handed the
+sonnets over to the gay T. T.!</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_15_15" id="Footnote_15_15"></a><a href="#FNanchor_15_15"><span class="label">[15]</span></a> Penalties of a really deterrent kind might at least be
+laid upon those gentlemen who write <i>more than three</i> pages of notes to
+one of the author's text:
+</p>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">O that the Kaiser showing sense for once<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">Would loose his fury on each learned dunce,<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">And visit with his summary proceedings<br /></span>
+<span class="i0">The rogues who tease us with their <i>variant readings</i>.<br /></span>
+</div></div></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_16_16" id="Footnote_16_16"></a><a href="#FNanchor_16_16"><span class="label">[16]</span></a> Mr. Tocher, a Peterhead gentleman, has adopted a special
+line of investigation. He has sent out schedules to every school in
+Scotland asking for detailed information as to the colour of the eyes
+and hair of the boys and girls. His desire is to connect <i>pigmentation</i>
+and race-origin. He believes it is still possible to get definite
+information, by such means, of the settlement and blending of Picts,
+Celts, Norsemen, and Anglo-Saxons.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_17_17" id="Footnote_17_17"></a><a href="#FNanchor_17_17"><span class="label">[17]</span></a> How differently the items in the Sacred Canon are regarded
+in scholastic circles in the South! A Glasgow teacher, discussing the
+Origin of Evil with a Government official, expressed great resentment at
+the loss of paradise through Adam's sin, and added: "It comes specially
+hard on me, seeing that I don't care a <i>docken</i> for apples."</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_18_18" id="Footnote_18_18"></a><a href="#FNanchor_18_18"><span class="label">[18]</span></a> Ministers, being public men, are, of course, as Mr.
+Macdonald means to point out, exposed to the criticism, frequently so
+absurd, that eminence entails. I recently examined the bye-laws of a
+literary association in Ross-shire, of which the president is a
+sheep-farmer, and the secretary, a postman. It is a rule of this
+association that no minister is ever to be president, the reason
+assigned being that ministers would try to elevate the natives <i>too
+hurriedly</i>. The people do not object to be elevated, but they wish the
+process to be performed without unnecessary haste.</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_19_19" id="Footnote_19_19"></a><a href="#FNanchor_19_19"><span class="label">[19]</span></a> I may here refer to a pleasant three hours spent in rowing
+on Lochaline in the company of Mr. Hugh Macintyre, an old gentleman full
+of Scott and well versed in the lore of the locality. He was a policeman
+in Glasgow for thirty-five years (latterly as guardian of the
+Kelvingrove Picture Gallery), and now, in the enjoyment of good health
+and a pension, spends his time reading and doing good in his native
+district. Mr. Macintyre's earliest recollection is of his father being
+evicted from a small holding, at the head of the loch, in the "forties."
+</p><p>
+Tennyson and Palgrave were visitors at Ardtornish, as Mr. Lang tells us,
+but made no special impression on the natives, who styled them
+respectively <i>Tinman</i> and <i>Pancake</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_20_20" id="Footnote_20_20"></a><a href="#FNanchor_20_20"><span class="label">[20]</span></a> I could mention another rural parish, considerably further
+north, where, two winters ago, the roads were so badly blocked with snow
+that for five consecutive weeks no church services could be held! Both
+minister and congregation were overcome with grief.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_21_21" id="Footnote_21_21"></a><a href="#FNanchor_21_21"><span class="label">[21]</span></a> In that part of South Arran which lies between Dippen and
+Shannochie, there is high up on the hillside, a row of cottages and
+crofts collectively nicknamed "Mount Misery." The reason for this
+sinister name is that in most of the houses there is some maimed,
+consumptive, or imbecile child boarded out by the Parish Council. The
+children are better there than selling matches at St. Enoch's Station:
+they are well looked after and almost invariably improve in health.</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_22_22" id="Footnote_22_22"></a><a href="#FNanchor_22_22"><span class="label">[22]</span></a> A country teacher in Kintyre, with a roll of eight, said
+to me: "We have had only one marriage in the district during the last
+year, and the bridegroom was aged <i>three score and fifteen</i>. I wonder
+what education is coming to: there is little or no patriotism about
+Kintyre or my roll would be higher. I wish I could get the people to
+think more imperially than they do at present."</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_23_23" id="Footnote_23_23"></a><a href="#FNanchor_23_23"><span class="label">[23]</span></a> A striking object-lesson on the instability of mortal life
+is permanently given to the Loch Ranza pupils by the proximity of the
+churchyard, which is just over the wall from the school. The thoughtful
+visitor should not fail to read the tombstones. If a lover of books, he
+will be interested in learning that the founder of the famous publishing
+firm of Messrs. Macmillan belonged to the North Cock farm near Loch
+Ranza. The pensive moralist will perhaps be most affected by an old
+stone, <span class="smcap lowercase">A.D.</span> 1813, declaring that Elspa Macmillan left this <i>inhospitable
+world</i>, aged 86. <i>That</i> was no rash inference.</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_24_24" id="Footnote_24_24"></a><a href="#FNanchor_24_24"><span class="label">[24]</span></a> It is a notorious fact that very few graduates, when they
+leave college, are able to read Latin from an author they have not
+specially studied, with ease or pleasure. For this melancholy fact there
+are several reasons. The range of reading is miserably meagre. Only a
+few authors are read, and almost every sentence of these is cumbered
+with such an amount of annotation as to render progress and literary
+appreciation alike painful. Composition in Latin absorbs far too much
+time: the first duty of the teacher ought to be to turn out pupils who
+can read Latin with fluency. No amount of grammatical detail or
+laborious composition, as at present practised, will ever make up for
+the lack of wide reading. Professor Phillimore's recent suggestion that
+the less-known authors should be read more than they are, is wise and
+opportune. The authors he mentions would furnish a welcome relief from
+the unspeakable dreariness of over-annotated texts.</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_25_25" id="Footnote_25_25"></a><a href="#FNanchor_25_25"><span class="label">[25]</span></a> A recent publication shows that Greek verse is well
+written at the University. Paisley folk should know that an Aberdonian
+Hellenist has put some of Tannahill's verses into Greek.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_26_26" id="Footnote_26_26"></a><a href="#FNanchor_26_26"><span class="label">[26]</span></a> The prayers of as many righteous men as possible are
+requested for the inspectors of schools who have to examine and report
+on the state of education in the Orkneys and Shetlands. I had the
+pleasure of conversing with one of these hard-worked officials in
+November, 1906. He spoke very warmly of the improved educational benefit
+of the libraries that have been sent from Paisley to the isles and
+skerries. This gentleman inspects the Fair Isle school once every two
+years. On the occasion of his last visit, he was rowed from Lerwick in a
+"sixern," and had a most tempestuous time going through the <i>roost</i>. Two
+of his oarsmen sickened, and were helpless. On getting ashore at last,
+he forgot all his sorrows and soaking, when he heard heartsome strains
+of welcome being played on the <i>insular pianola</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_27_27" id="Footnote_27_27"></a><a href="#FNanchor_27_27"><span class="label">[27]</span></a> As to language, one hears, especially in the Hebrides,
+phrases of amusing quaintness, due no doubt to the speaker handling a
+foreign tongue. The school in one of the Mull villages is very small,
+and I made a remark to that effect in the hearing of the hotel-porter.
+"Oh, no," said he, "<i>it is a good deal bigger than you would wonder</i>."
+The same waiter, who had a talent for confusing his language, said in
+reply to an irate visitor who had questioned his intelligence: "You need
+not talk like that; I am as good as you; <i>I am as good as any other man
+put together</i>."</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_28_28" id="Footnote_28_28"></a><a href="#FNanchor_28_28"><span class="label">[28]</span></a> A very similar account is given, of the dearth of the
+little folk in England, by the poet Chaucer; only, that eminent writer
+declares that the phenomenon is due to the zeal and prayers of the monks
+and begging-friars, who paced about the country muttering blessings and
+exorcistic paragraphs.</p></div>
+
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_29_29" id="Footnote_29_29"></a><a href="#FNanchor_29_29"><span class="label">[29]</span></a> Collins's long <i>Ode on Popular Superstitions in the
+Highlands of Scotland</i>, addressed to Home, author of <i>Douglas</i>, contains
+some excellent rhetorical passages. Speaking of the second-sighted seer,
+Collins represents him as one who
+</p>
+<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
+<span class="i0">"In the <i>depth of Uist's dark forest</i> dwells."<br /></span>
+</div></div>
+<p>
+We may say of Uist what Lord Rosebery said of Caithness, that it is
+<i>entirely delivered from the contaminating influence of foliage</i>. The
+air one breathes there does not suffer deterioration by coming through
+any such <i>dark forest</i> as Collins mentions: it blows from the Atlantic
+in an absolutely pure and strong condition.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_30_30" id="Footnote_30_30"></a><a href="#FNanchor_30_30"><span class="label">[30]</span></a> I am inclined to think that the relationship formerly existing
+between the Highland chief and the member of his clan was perfect in its
+way&mdash;a <i>model</i> of class relationship. There was nothing menial about the
+clansman's attitude, though he gave unbounded homage to his lord. At the
+battle of Inverkeithing, a clansman and his seven sons gave up their
+lives to shield from death their chieftain, Sir Hector Maclean. As the
+old man saw his boys fall one after the other, he shouted with glee and
+pride, "<i>Another for Sir Hector!</i>" until he himself lay, like a true
+thane, beside his progeny. Nothing could be finer or more touching than
+such a scene.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_31_31" id="Footnote_31_31"></a><a href="#FNanchor_31_31"><span class="label">[31]</span></a> Burns tells us that when in Inveraray Hotel, he was entirely
+neglected by the servants, who gave all their attention to some
+gentlemen from the Castle. In our day, the Campbells have shown
+contrition by their willingness to admit that Burns was one of their own
+clan. Burns's ancestors were, it is said, Campbells of Taynuilt.
+Taynuilt means in English, Burnhouse. When the poet's ancestors
+emigrated to Forfarshire, they were known as <i>Campbells from Burnhouse</i>.
+In course of time the appellation was shortened into Burnhouse simply,
+and latterly into Burness or Burns.&mdash;Q.E.D.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_32_32" id="Footnote_32_32"></a><a href="#FNanchor_32_32"><span class="label">[32]</span></a> Boswell's religious instincts come well out in his account of the
+visit to Iona. Two of his descendants, Messrs. Albert and James Boswell,
+devoted themselves entirely to religion, and were well known in
+Ayrshire, thirty years ago, as zealous evangelists. These two gentlemen
+went on a preaching campaign through the northern islands, and did much
+highly appreciated philanthropic and religious work there. They were
+members of the sect called Plymouth Brethren.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_33_33" id="Footnote_33_33"></a><a href="#FNanchor_33_33"><span class="label">[33]</span></a> Rob was at one time in the army, for every Mackay has the fighting
+instinct in him. (Reay is one of the few townships in the North that
+possess a drill-hall and a military instructor. It is impossible
+adequately to describe the consternation in the Mackay country at the
+time of our South African reverses. Everyone was in a fury and it was
+felt there was urgent need for the Mackays to straighten out matters at
+the seat of war. It was at this time that the drill-hall was built in
+Reay. Many of the young men went to the front as volunteers, and if the
+war had lasted much longer, there would have been few Mackays left in
+Sutherlandshire.)</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_34_34" id="Footnote_34_34"></a><a href="#FNanchor_34_34"><span class="label">[34]</span></a> Let me here pay a tribute to the marked excellence and literary
+skill of the newspapers of provincial Scotland. These are very
+numerous&mdash;even Ailsa Craig has a sheet of its own, <i>The Ailsa Craig
+Banner</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_35_35" id="Footnote_35_35"></a><a href="#FNanchor_35_35"><span class="label">[35]</span></a> Reprinted (by kind permission) from the <i>Scotsman</i>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_36_36" id="Footnote_36_36"></a><a href="#FNanchor_36_36"><span class="label">[36]</span></a> Suggested by a copy of his poems in a West Highland bookcase.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_37_37" id="Footnote_37_37"></a><a href="#FNanchor_37_37"><span class="label">[37]</span></a> Berriedale, which moved the American to commemorative song, is on
+the Caithness shore, and there the Duke of Portland has one of his
+numerous residences. The Duke's seat is high up on the hills and behind
+it is a mountain of grim aspect which serves for a deer-forest. At
+Berriedale, the road traversed by the coach is simply appalling: boards
+marked <i>Dangerous</i> forewarn all wheel-men that risks cannot be taken
+with impunity. An honest descent can be easily coped with, but here the
+road to the glen is not merely steep, it is as lacking in
+straightforwardness as the links of Forth. Once down at the level of the
+village, the breeze no longer blows fresh and chilly, but subsides into
+a quiet air, grateful with the odour of flowers. Passengers are
+requested to walk up the corresponding hill to a level equal to the
+height of the road before the interruption of the terrible Berriedale
+chasm. When the ascent is reached, one has a view of unsurpassed
+splendour. The wooded Wye, which Wordsworth sang so rapturously and
+which he saw with his mind's eye in the dinsome town, has no landscape
+to compare in grandeur and beauty with the country round Berriedale,
+viewed from this eminence. Hills of richest green, diversified with
+purple heather; a back-ground of wild bog and mountain; blue sea; and
+great banks of cloud shepherded over the heights by the mighty winds.</p></div>
+
+<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_38_38" id="Footnote_38_38"></a><a href="#FNanchor_38_38"><span class="label">[38]</span></a> Suggested by a French poem of Monsieur Desessarts,
+entitled <i>Se Survivre</i>.</p></div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1_1" id="Page_1_1">{1}</a></span></p>
+
+<p class='center'><b>Publisher &amp; Bookseller<br />
+by<br />
+Special Appointment<br />
+To Her late Majesty<br />
+Queen Victoria.</b></p>
+
+
+<p class='center' style="font-size: x-large;"><b>A LIST OF BOOKS</b>
+<br />
+<span style="font-size: 50%;">PUBLISHED BY</span>
+<br />
+ALEX. GARDNER, PAISLEY.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 50%;" />
+
+<div style="text-indent: -1.5em; margin-left: 2em;"><p><i>Aitken.</i>&mdash;Love in Its Tenderness. By J. R. Aitken. 3s. 6d.</p>
+
+<p><i>Anderson.</i>&mdash;Morison-Grant.&mdash;Life, Letters, and Last Poems of
+Lewis Morison-Grant. By Jessie Annie Anderson. 4s. 6d.</p>
+
+<p><i>Anderson.</i>&mdash;Verses at Random. By Thistle Anderson (Mrs. Herbert
+Fisher). 2s. 6d. nett.</p>
+
+<p>&mdash;&mdash; Dives' Wife, and other Fragments. By Thistle Anderson (Mrs.
+Herbert Fisher). 2s. 6d. nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>Anton.</i>&mdash;The Flywheel: and What Keeps Us Steady. By Rev. Peter
+Anton. 3s. 6d. nett.</p>
+
+<p>&mdash;&mdash; Staying Power: Reconsiderations and Recreations. By Rev.
+Peter Anton. 3s. 6d. nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>A. O. M.</i>&mdash;Two Brothers. By A. O. M. 2s. 6d.</p>
+
+<p><i>Auld.</i>&mdash;Lyrics of Labour and other Poems. By Thomas C. Auld.</p>
+
+<p><i>Ayles.</i>&mdash;Gillicolane. By Grueber Ayles. 4s. 6d.</p>
+
+<p><i>Aytoun.</i>&mdash;The Braes o' Balquhidder. By Douglas Aytoun. 6s.</p>
+
+<p>Ballads of the Scottish Border. With Introduction and Notes. 1s.
+nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>Ballingal.</i>&mdash;A. Prince of Edom. By J. Ballingal, B.D. 2s. 6d.</p>
+
+<p><i>Beatty.</i>&mdash;The Secretar. By W. Beatty. 6s.</p>
+
+<p>&mdash;&mdash; The Shadow of the Purple. By W. Beatty. 2s. 6d.</p>
+
+<p><i>"Belinda's Husband."</i>&mdash;Plain Papers on Subjects Light and
+Grave. By "Belinda's Husband." 2s. 6d. nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>Beveridge.</i>&mdash;Sma' Folk and Bairn Days. Translated from the
+Norse by the Rev. John Beveridge, M.A., B.D. Second Edition. 3s.
+6d.</p>
+
+<p><i>Blair.</i>&mdash;The Paisley Thread Industry and the Men who Created
+and Developed It. By Matthew Blair. 6s. nett.</p>
+
+<p>&mdash;&mdash; The Paisley Shawl and the Men who Produced It. By Matthew
+Blair. 7s. 6d. nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>Brownlie.</i>&mdash;Hymns of the Holy Eastern Church. Translated by
+Rev. John Brownlie. 3s. 6d. nett.</p>
+
+<p>&mdash;&mdash; Hymns from the Greek Office Books: Together with Centos and
+Suggestions. Translated by Rev. John Brownlie. 3s. 6d. nett.</p>
+
+<p>&mdash;&mdash; Hymns from the East. Translated by Rev. John Brownlie. 3s.
+6d. nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>Buchan.</i>&mdash;The Ballad Minstrelsy of Scotland. By Patrick Buchan.
+5s.</p>
+
+<p>The Songs of Scotland. Chronologically Arranged. 5s. Uniform
+with above.</p>
+
+<p><i>Burns.</i>&mdash;The Selected Works of Robert Burns. Edited by Rhona
+Sutherland. Crown 4to. 430 pp. With Illustrations. Price 5s.
+nett. Or in various Bindings&mdash;Prices on application.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2_2" id="Page_2_2">{2}</a></span></p>
+
+<p><i>Bute.</i>&mdash;Coronations&mdash;Chiefly Scottish. By the Marquess of Bute,
+K.T. 7s. 6d. nett.</p>
+
+<p>&mdash;&mdash; Essays on Foreign Subjects. By the Marquess of Bute, K.T.
+10s. 6d.</p>
+
+<p>&mdash;&mdash; Seven Essays on Christian Greece. Translated by the
+Marquess of Bute, K.T. 7s. 6d.</p>
+
+<p><i>Caird.</i>&mdash;Sermons. By the late Rev. J. Renny Caird, M.A. With
+Memoir, by Rev. Robert Munro, B.D. 3s. 6d. nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>Calder.</i>&mdash;Poems of Life and Work. By Robert H. Calder. 2s. 6d.
+nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>Campbell.</i>&mdash;Notes on the Ecclesiastical Antiquities of Eastwood
+Parish. By the late Rev. George Campbell. 12s. 6d. and 25s.
+nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>Campbell.</i>&mdash;Popular Tales of the West Highlands. By the late J.
+F. Campbell, Islay. Four vols. 7s. 6d. each.</p>
+
+<p><i>Campbell.</i>&mdash;The Elder's Prayer-Book. By Rev. Wm. Campbell, B.D.
+1s.</p>
+
+<p><i>Carslaw.</i>&mdash;Heroes of the Scottish Covenant. By Rev. W. H.
+Carslaw, D.D.<br />
+
+Vol. I.&mdash;James Guthrie, of Fenwick.<br />
+II.&mdash;Donald Cargill, of the Barony, Glasgow.<br />
+III.&mdash;James Renwick, the last of the Martyrs.<br />
+1s. 6d. nett each. The three vols. in one, 3s. 6d. nett.</p>
+
+
+<p>&mdash;&mdash; Six Martyrs of the First and Second Reformations. By Rev.
+W. H. Carslaw, D.D. 2s. nett.</p>
+
+<p>&mdash;&mdash; Exiles of the Covenant. By Rev. W. H. Carslaw, D.D. 2s.
+nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>Chalmers.</i>&mdash;Chalmers' Caledonia. 25s. and 40s. per vol. Vol.
+VIII.&mdash;the Index&mdash;sold separately, 15s. and 25s. nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>Cheviot.</i>&mdash;Proverbs, Proverbial Expressions, and Popular Rhymes
+of Scotland. By Andrew Cheviot. 6s. nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>"Claverhouse."</i>&mdash;Gretna Green and Its Traditions. By
+"Claverhouse." 1s. nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>Craigie.</i>&mdash;Scandinavian Folk Lore. By W. A. Craigie, M.A.,
+F.S.A. 7s. 6d.</p>
+
+<p><i>Drummond.</i>&mdash;Life of Robert Nicoll. By the late P. R. Drummond,
+Perth. 5s.</p>
+
+<p><i>Edgar.</i>&mdash;Old Church Life in Scotland. By Andrew Edgar, D.D. 7s.
+6d.</p>
+
+<p>&mdash;&mdash; The Bibles of England. By Andrew Edgar, D.D. 7s. 6d.</p>
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+<p><i>Eyre-Todd.</i>&mdash;The Glasgow Poets. Edited by George Eyre-Todd. 7s.
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+
+<p><i>Fergusson.</i>&mdash;Alexander Hume. By R. Menzies Fergusson, M.A. 5s.
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+<p>&mdash;&mdash; A Village Poet. By R. Menzies Fergusson, M.A. 3s. 6d. nett.</p>
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+
+<p>&mdash;&mdash; The Viking's Bride, and other Poems. By R. Menzies
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+
+<p><i>Ferguson.</i>&mdash;The King's Friend. By Dugald Ferguson. 3s. 6d.</p>
+
+<p><i>Fergusson.</i>&mdash;The Poems of Robert Fergusson. Edited by Robt.
+Ford. 5s. nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>Fife.</i>&mdash;And I Knew It Not. By David Fife. 3s. 6d. nett.</p>
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+<p><i>Findlay.</i>&mdash;Medici Carmina. By William Findlay, M.D. 3s. 6d.
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+<p>&mdash;&mdash; In My City Garden. By "George Umber." 6s.</p>
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+<p>&mdash;&mdash; Robert Burns and the Medical Profession. By William
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+<p><i>Fittis.</i>&mdash;Curious Episodes in Scottish History. By R. Scott
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+
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+<p>&mdash;&mdash; Romantic Narratives from Scottish History and Tradition. By
+R. Scott Fittis. 6s.</p>
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+<p><i>Fleming.</i>&mdash;Ancient Castles and Mansions of Stirling Nobility.
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+Ford. 3s. 6d.</p>
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+and Expressive Reading and Reciting. By John Forsyth. 1s. 6d.
+nett. Gardner's Verse for Schools. Parts I. and II. 6d. nett
+each part.</p>
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+<p><i>Grosart.</i>&mdash;The Verse and Miscellaneous Prose of Alexander
+Wilson, the Ornithologist of America. Edited by Rev. A. B.
+Grosart, LL.D. 12s. 6d.</p>
+
+<p><i>Hogg.</i>&mdash;A Tour in the Highlands in 1803. By James Hogg. 2s. 6d.</p>
+
+<p><i>Holmes.</i>&mdash;The Teaching of Modern Languages in Schools and
+Colleges. By D. T. Holmes, B.A. 2s. nett.</p>
+
+<p>&mdash;&mdash; Literary Touring in the Scottish Highlands and Islands. By
+D. T. Holmes, B.A. 4s. 6d. nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>Johnson.</i>&mdash;A Journey to the Western Islands of Scotland in
+1773. By Samuel Johnson, LL.D. New Edition. 2s. 6d. nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>Kennedy.</i>&mdash;David Kennedy, the Scottish Singer: Reminiscences of
+his Life and Work. By Marjory Kennedy. And Singing Round the
+World: a Narrative of his Colonial Tours. By David Kennedy, Jun.
+7s. 6d.</p>
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+<p><i>Kennedy.</i>&mdash;Reminiscences of Walt Whitman. By William Sloane
+Kennedy, Camden, N.J. 6s.</p>
+
+<p><i>Ker.</i>&mdash;Mother Lodge, Kilwinning, "The Ancient Lodge of
+Scotland." By Rev. W. Lee Ker, Kilwinning. 4s. 6d.</p>
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+3s. 6d.</p>
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+<p><i>M'Gown.</i>&mdash;Ten Bunyan Talks. By G. W. T. M'Gown. 2s. nett.</p>
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+<p>&mdash;&mdash; A Primer of Burns. By G. W. T. M'Gown. 1s. nett.</p>
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+MacKenzie. 12s. 6d. nett. Large Paper, 21s.</p>
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+<p><i>MacKenzie.</i>&mdash;The Lady of Hirta. By Wm. C. MacKenzie, F.S.A.
+Scot. 6s.</p>
+
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+<p><i>Menzies.</i>&mdash;Provincial Sketches and other Verses. By G. K.
+Menzies. 2s. 6d. nett.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4_4" id="Page_4_4">{4}</a></span></p>
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+Menzies. 1s. 6d. nett.</p>
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+<p>&mdash;&mdash; Ancient Lives of the Scottish Saints. Translated by W. M.
+Metcalfe, D.D. 15s. On Whatman Paper, 25s.</p>
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+enlarged by W. M. Metcalfe, D.D. 2 vols. 15s. per vol.</p>
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+<p>&mdash;&mdash; The Natural Truth of Christianity. Edited by W. M.
+Metcalfe, D.D. 5s.</p>
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+<p>&mdash;&mdash; The Reasonableness of Christianity. By W. M. Metcalfe, D.D.
+5s.</p>
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+<p><i>Metcalfe.</i>&mdash;The Great Palace of Constantinople. Translated from
+the Greek of Dr. A. G. Paspates, by William Metcalfe, B.D. 10s.
+6d.</p>
+
+<p><i>Miller.</i>&mdash;Selections from the Works of Hugh Miller. Edited by
+W. M. Mackenzie, M.A., F.S.A. (Scot.). 3s. 6d.</p>
+
+<p><i>Mitchell.</i>&mdash;A Popular History of the Highlands and Gaelic
+Scotland. By Dugald Mitchell, M.D., J.P. 12s. 6d. nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>Mitchell.</i>&mdash;Jephtha: a Drama. Translated by A. G. Mitchell. 3s.
+6d. nett.</p>
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+<p>&mdash;&mdash; John the Baptist: a Drama. Translated by A. G. Mitchell.
+3s. 6d. nett.</p>
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+D.P.H. 1s. 6d. nett.</p>
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+<p>&mdash;&mdash; The Stone of Dunalter. By Wm. Robertson, M.D., D.P.H. 3s.
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+Wye Smith. New Edition. 6s. nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>Symington.</i>&mdash;Hints to Our Boys. By A. J. Symington. 1s. 6d.</p>
+
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+late David Semple, F.S.A. New Edition. 3s. 6d. nett.</p>
+
+<p><i>Taylor.</i>&mdash;The Autobiography of Peter Taylor. 3s. 6d.</p>
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+Writers. By Rev. Wm. Taylor, M.A. 2s. nett.</p>
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+<p><i>Wright.</i>&mdash;Laird Nicoll's Kitchen, and other Sketches of
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Literary Tours in The Highlands and Islands
+of Scotland, by Daniel Turner Holmes
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Literary Tours in The Highlands and Islands of Scotland
+
+Author: Daniel Turner Holmes
+
+Release Date: June 20, 2009 [EBook #29178]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LITERARY TOURS ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Susan Skinner and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+_LITERARY TOURS_
+
+
+
+
+ Literary Tours in
+ The Highlands and
+ Islands of Scotland
+
+ By D. T. Holmes, B.A.
+
+
+ "Gaudia, discursus, nostri est farrago libelli"
+ --_Juvenal_, i. 74
+
+
+ _PAISLEY: ALEXANDER GARDNER_
+ Publisher by Appointment to the late Queen Victoria
+ 1909
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ _To_
+ _James Coats, Junr., Esq.,_
+ _Ferguslie House, Paisley._
+
+
+ _You, but for whom I'd never been
+ Much further north than Aberdeen;
+ Whose mandate sent my willing feet
+ To realms of heather, broom, and peat:
+ Accept this record of my tours
+ As something less my own than yours._
+
+ _D. T. HOLMES._
+
+
+
+
+_PREFACE._
+
+
+ _White stands the long Kilpatrick row
+ Of hills with deep and dazzling snow,
+ And eastward, in a glimmering haze,
+ Stretch to the Forth the Campsie Braes._
+
+ _But see! beyond the Clyde, a stain
+ Of smoke that runs across the plain,
+ And flecks for miles the vivid gleam:
+ It is the tireless steed of steam._
+
+ _An old acquaintance! Ben and Strath
+ Daily behold his thunderous path,
+ That ceases not, until he feels
+ The breeze of Mallaig cool his wheels._
+
+ _And Memory, fondly gazing back
+ On many a journey by that track
+ Of splendour, would, at home, retrace
+ The charms and lore of every place;_
+
+ _Yea, pass, in thought, to storied Skye,
+ Where all the glens in glamour lie;
+ And, lightly scorning gust and spray,
+ Leap o'er the Minch to Stornoway._
+
+ _And many a northern beach besides,
+ Splashed by the foam of racing tides,
+ Rises in thought: from here to there,
+ Let Fancy's coinage pay the fare,--_
+
+ _Fancy, that wafts us o'er the main
+ To utmost Thule and home again,
+ Through mingled din of sea and sky,
+ Even in the twinkling of an eye._
+
+ _D. T. H._
+
+ _Ingleholm, Bridge of Weir,
+ 16th January, 1909._
+
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+ PAGE
+
+CHAPTER I.--INTRODUCTORY, 9
+
+ Village libraries--Difficulties of travel--Literary Societies in
+ the Highlands--Gaelic books--Happiness and geniality of
+ natives--Oban to Gairloch--Winter sailing--A crofting
+ village--Horrors of the Minch--Notes on Lewis--Highland
+ doctors--Hotels and anglers--Recent books--Military--Moray
+ Firth--Among the miners--Handloom weaving--Professor Blackie and
+ the Highlands.
+
+CHAPTER II.--MUSIC, SPEECHES, AND LITERATURE, 60
+
+ Scotch a reading nation--Hardships of students in old
+ days--Homer in Scalloway--When education ends--Objects of
+ chapter--Music--M.P.'s--Rural depopulation--Its
+ causes--Emigration--Village halls--The moon--A lecture in
+ Islay--Mental and material wealth--Real greatness--A Highland
+ laird on literature--Varieties of chairmen--"Coming to the
+ point"--Moral obligation--Compliment to Paisley--Oratory at
+ Salen--Lecture in a dungeon--Surprises--A visit to the
+ Borders--Tarbolton--Scotch language--Choice books--The
+ essayists--A Banff theory--Goldsmith in Gaelic--_Biblia
+ abiblia_--Favourites for the road--Horace--Shakespeare's
+ Sonnets--Xenophon--French literature and journalism--Romance and
+ Augustanism--Victorian writers--Celt and Saxon.
+
+CHAPTER III.--ECCLESIASTICAL, 134
+
+ Sectarian feeling--Typical anecdotes--Music and
+ religion--Ethical teaching in schools--The Moderates--A savoury
+ book--The Sabbath--"The Men of Skye"--The auldest kirk--The
+ Episcopal Church--An interlude of metre--The Christian
+ Brethren--Drimnin in Morven--Craignish--A model
+ minister--Ministerial trials in olden times--An artful
+ dodger--Some anecdotes from Gigha--Growing popularity of Ruskin.
+
+CHAPTER IV.--EDUCATIONAL, 180
+
+ Some Insular Dominies--Education Act of 1872--Education in the
+ Highlands--Feeding the hungry--Parish Council
+ boarders--Dwindling attendances--Arnisdale--Golspie Technical
+ School--On the Sidlaws--Some surprises--Arran schools--Science
+ and literature--Study of Scott--The old classical dominie--Vogue
+ of Latin in former times--Teachers and
+ examinations--Howlers--Competing subjects.
+
+CHAPTER V.--A TRIP TO SHETLAND, 217
+
+ Aberdeen--En route--Lerwick--Past and present saints--Some notes
+ on the islands--A Shetland poet--A visit to Bressay--From
+ Lerwick to Sandwick--Quarff--"That holy man,
+ Noah"--Fladibister--Cunningsburgh--"Keeping off"--The indignant
+ elder--Torquil Halcrow--Philology--A Sandwick gentleman--Local
+ tales--Foulah and Fair Isle--The fishing season.
+
+CHAPTER VI.--COMMERCIAL TRAVELLERS AND THEIR ANECDOTES, 255
+
+ Trials of commercials--The two-est-faced knave--Mary, the maid
+ of the inn--Anecdotes of the smoking-room: Sonnet to
+ Raleigh--Peelin's below the tree--"She's away!"--A mean
+ house--One of the director's wives--Temperance hotels--A
+ memorial window--The blasted heath--The day for it--The
+ converted drummer--A circular ticket--A compound
+ possessive--Sixteen medals--"She's auld, and she's thin, and
+ she'll keep"--The will o' the dead--Sorry for London--"Raither
+ unceevil"--An unwelcome recitation--A word in season--A Nairn
+ critic--A grand day for it--A pro-Boer--"Falls of Bruar, only,
+ please!"--A bad case of nerves.
+
+CHAPTER VII.--LEGENDS AND LITERARY NOTABILIA, 278
+
+ Gairloch folk-lore: Prince Olaf and his bride--A laird who had
+ seen a fairy--Tales from Loch Broom: The dance of death--The
+ Kildonan midwife--The magic herring--Taisch--Antiquities of
+ Dunvegan--Miscellaneous terrors--St. Kilda--Lady
+ Grange--Pierless Tiree--Lochbuie in Mull--Inveraray Castle--The
+ sacred isle--Appin--Macdonald's gratitude--Notes on the
+ Trossachs--Lochfyneside: Macivors, Macvicars, and
+ Macallisters--Red Hector--Macphail of Colonsay--Tales from
+ Speyside: Tom Eunan!--Shaws and Grants--The wishing well--Ossian
+ and Macpherson--At the foot o' Bennachie--Harlaw--Lochaber
+ reivers--Reay and Twickenham--Rob Donn--Rev. Mr. Mill of
+ Dunrossness.
+
+CHAPTER VIII.--METRICAL AND SUPPLEMENTARY, 340
+
+ Arrival of the Mail-train at a Highland Station--Defoe, the
+ Father of Journalism--A Village Toper--A Reverend
+ Hellenist--Antigone--Shadows of the Manse--"My Heart's in the
+ Highlands"--Saddell, Kintyre--Springtime in Perthshire--Dr.
+ George Macdonald's Creed--Abbotsford--Carlyle--Shelley--Picture
+ in an Inn--Rain-storm at Loch Awe--Kinlochewe--General
+ Wade--Sound of Raasay in December--Les Neiges d' Antan--The
+ Islands of the Ness--American Tourist Loquitur--The Miners--In a
+ Country Graveyard--No Place like Home.
+
+INDEX, 369
+
+
+
+
+LITERARY TOURING.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+INTRODUCTORY.
+
+ Village libraries--Difficulties of travel--Literary Societies in
+ the Highlands--Gaelic books--Happiness and geniality of
+ natives--Oban to Gairloch--Winter sailing--A crofting
+ village--Horrors of the Minch--Notes on Lewis--Highland
+ doctors--Hotels and anglers--Recent books--Military--Moray
+ Firth--Among the miners--Handloom weaving--Professor Blackie and
+ the Highlands.
+
+
+VILLAGE LIBRARIES.
+
+At pretty frequent intervals, during the last four years, I have sallied
+forth from my home in Renfrewshire, north, south, east, and west, to
+some of the most remote and isolated nooks of insular and provincial
+Scotland, on a mission so uncommon as to justify the writing of a book
+of impressions and experiences. The Highlands and Islands of Scotland
+are, of course, visited every summer by a great host of excursionists,
+who go thither to fish, play golf, lounge, climb hills, and otherwise
+picturesquely disport themselves. A few earnest devotees of science
+spend their holidays botanising in the glens, scanning the geological
+strata, looking for fossils, measuring the outlines of brochs and
+prehistoric forts, or collecting relics of Culdee churches. My journeys
+were undertaken for none of the objects named: they were entirely
+connected with _libraries_ and _lecturing_, and, being undertaken mainly
+in the months of winter and spring, they have given me the opportunity
+of noting a great many interesting particulars that the summer
+traveller, bent on recreation or science, cannot be expected to notice.
+
+_I do not think any finer gift could be given to a village community
+than a collection of useful and entertaining books._ The libraries with
+which my work was connected were sent, free of charge, to strath and
+glen, and nothing was asked in return, except that the volumes should be
+well housed and delivered to the people to read by some local librarian.
+You will find these libraries in all the townships of the Hebrides, from
+Ness in Lewis, down the long chain of islands, to Islay and Jura. About
+thirty of them are established in the Shetlands, and as many in the
+Orkneys. Scores of little villages in Aberdeen, Ross, Sutherland,
+Argyle, Bute, and Perth, have been gratuitously supplied with them. The
+same is true of many a weather-beaten, quaint, red-tiled little
+fishing-village along the shores of the Moray Firth. In the barracks of
+Fort-George, Inverness, and Dingwall, the soldiers can solace their
+leisure hours by delightful, patriotic, and instructive reading,
+furnished to them without money and without price. Even in quiet,
+pastoral Roxburghshire, at a spot near the birthplace of Dandie
+Dinmont, you will find one of these serviceable collections of books.
+
+It is a pleasure to me to be able to say that I have visited a great
+number of the districts mentioned, for the purpose of speaking to the
+people in a familiar and non-academic way on some of the books which
+have been presented to them. In this way I have spoken to about 40,000
+people, the majority of whom had never previously been present at a
+discourse on a literary topic. Most of them had, of course, been in the
+habit of attending religious services and election meetings: but neither
+of these is the very best preparation for a literary evening. Some of my
+experiences have been intensely amusing, and I do not think any lecturer
+has ever, as regards rough roads, inclement weather, and amazing votes
+of thanks, had quite the same joys and sorrows as I have come through. I
+have often laughed (good-naturedly, I hope) at what came under my
+notice, but I am not so conceited as to suppose that the hilarity was
+always on one side.
+
+
+DIFFICULTIES OF TRAVEL.
+
+It can very easily be seen that he who proposed to visit all the above
+districts would have some hard and continuous work in prospect. Even on
+the mainland of Scotland there are many villages of difficult access.
+The nearest railway station to Durness on Loch Eriboll is Lairg, sixty
+miles away. Gairloch in Ross-shire is thirty miles distant from the
+railway station of Achnasheen. In the great county of Aberdeen there are
+a good many villages that can only be reached by long and tiresome
+driving in a mail coach. At different parts of the Moray Firth little
+townships lie huddled at the foot of precipitous cliffs, and, at first
+sight, seem inaccessible except by sea. To one accustomed to the
+sumptuous equipment of the Clyde steamers, even the journey to the
+shrine of Hugh Miller at Cromarty is pleasant only in good weather: a
+wee, puffing, hard-wrought steam-launch takes a slant course of five
+miles from Invergordon to Cromarty pier, accomplishing the journey in
+forty-five minutes. The fare between the two piers is one shilling, and
+there is no extra charge for the use of the cabin, which is reached by a
+perpendicular and very slippery ladder, and would be better suited for
+philosophical reflection in a gale if the crew did not use it as a
+store-room for engine-grease and old oilskins. In the Outer Islands,
+Watt's machine is, of course, unknown, and many of the roads which
+imaginative cartographers have inserted in their maps, will perhaps be
+finished when the last trump is about to sound.
+
+Railway travelling, too, is attended with some inconveniences in winter.
+The Glasgow-Inverness train, for example, may, on the coldest night of
+the year, break down at Dalnaspidal; and in such a case the passengers
+will have to sit, entertained by howling blasts, till a fresh engine
+comes up from Blair Atholl. Such an experience was once mine, and I
+always think of it when I read the ninth ode of Horace's first book.
+Outside were the great snow-sheeted mountains, and the moon was gazing
+in blear-eyed compassion through a screen of haze. From end to end of
+the train resounded the rhythmic beat of cold-footed passengers striving
+to bring some warmth of blood to the toes.
+
+In Grantown-on-Spey, I got an uncommon surprise one February. There had
+been some snow in the Lowlands, but at Grantown the fall had been
+excessive, and the roads were encumbered. On arriving at the station,
+the travellers saw a sleigh waiting to convey them to the hotel. The
+conveyance suited the weather admirably, and the horses seemed to be
+enjoying the fun. No wheeled vehicles were to be seen: even the milkmen
+sleighed their commodity from door to door. "_If we had a brace of
+grand-dukes and a bomb or two, we could fancy ourselves in Russia_,"
+said the facetious hotel-porter. He asserted that it was well for the
+country when abundant snow came down early in the year. It seems that
+Grantown is apt to suffer from drought in a hot summer following on a
+rainless spring. A copious fall of snow early in the year is retained in
+the mountains, and ensures plenty of moisture during the months of heat.
+Moisture is needed in summer, for the population is trebled then, and
+most tourists require a little water, sometimes, to qualify their
+potations.
+
+It is evident from what I have said, that the pedantic and vexatious
+system adopted by Euclid in his Elements of Geometry could not be
+employed in arranging the chapters of this book. The stern
+consecutiveness of that immortal but unpopular author would be out of
+place in describing journeys which might have been taken in the reverse
+order without much difference in the results.
+
+
+LITERARY SOCIETIES IN THE HIGHLANDS.
+
+Winter with its long nights gives leisure to the remote glensmen and
+crofters. The distractions of the town are not there to take their minds
+away from study and meditation. Books may not be abundant, but what
+literature is available is eagerly fastened on and thoroughly digested.
+In the Lowlands we skip over our books and know nothing thoroughly. The
+Highlander, with his limited means and choice, is forced to peruse and
+re-peruse, even though he has nothing more lively than Boston's
+_Fourfold State_, or Hervey's _Meditations among the Tombs_. But he
+knows well what he has so often read, and is quite competent to discuss
+and criticise his little row of volumes. A few of the Highland townships
+have literary societies in which every variety of subject is debated:
+the meetings are usually opened with prayer, but not always closed in
+that way. There is a tiny clachan, some twenty miles distant from
+Ullapool, on the side of a hill, in view of the grotesque peaks of
+Suilven, which has a most flourishing literary society--with president,
+vice-president, rules, minutes, and committees. Not once, but twice a
+week does this society meet, and when the full moon is propitious for a
+clear journey home through the morasses, the debates are often unduly
+prolonged and the chairman's summing-up luxuriantly prolix. How many
+politicians of note in London have been raked fore and aft in that
+little schoolroom! What measures and enactments, plausible to the
+unthinking metropolitans, have been cut and slashed there, while the
+conscious moon, gleaming in at the window, strove vainly to disperse
+the loquacious throng! Listen to the chairman's modest remarks: "_I do
+not wish_," he says, "_to embarrass the Government, but_...." Unthinking
+Asquith, here is a man who does not wish to embarrass you; he could do
+it, but he is merciful! You may breathe freely, you and your Cabinet,
+for spite of your slips and blunders, the Ross-shire crofters will not
+turn round and rend you. They do not wish to embarrass the Government;
+but have a care: their eyes are on you, and forbearance has its limits.
+Think not because they live remote from train and telegraph, that you
+are immune from their censure. Far from it! Round the hill-side at a
+stated hour every day, in shine or shower, gust or calm, comes the
+mail-coach of King Edward VII., bringing its pile of letters and
+newspapers. I see the little throng of village politicians, eager-eyed,
+peruse the latest parliamentary news. There they get all the needed
+pabulum for the next political debate. If the answers to Mr. Galloway
+Weir have been shifty and evasive, it will go hard with the Government
+to-night in the little schoolroom, and the plaster will fall in showers
+of dust from the ceiling as the iniquities of our rulers are ruthlessly
+shown up. I should not like to feel the rough side of that chairman's
+tongue.
+
+A library of representative English works, presented to a remote
+provincial society like the one I speak of, is a centre of unspeakable
+entertainment and instruction. The _entertainment_, during the long
+nights of winter, when the natives gather round the ingle and someone
+reads aloud, is a very palpable addition to the joys of life. The
+_instruction_ is perhaps slower in coming, but is none the less sure.
+Only by comparison of books can their relative value as literature be
+determined. Bigotry and narrow-mindedness in literature and religion are
+almost always the result of ignorance. In the Highlands it is oftenest
+the local teacher who is the librarian, and the books are accommodated
+in the school. The teacher is thus able to make his instruction in
+literature vivid and interesting to his senior pupils; he can authorise
+a pupil to take a particular volume home and require an essay to be
+written on it within a given time; and he can, in school, read aloud
+typical passages of good prose to supplement the limited extracts of the
+class text-books. The books have been selected (i.) to form useful
+reading for adults; (ii.) to supply suitable pabulum for literary
+societies; (iii.) to aid the schemes of the Education Department in
+connection with what is called the "Supplementary Course of Instruction
+in English Literature." The selection of the books for the use of senior
+scholars has been, as a rule, easy enough. Dictionaries of the French
+and German languages, good atlases, and works of reference have, in most
+cases been included.[1]
+
+ [1] Let the southern reader remember that a boy born in a city
+ like Glasgow has, as respects opportunities of getting on,
+ infinitely better chances than a lad of equal ability born in a
+ Highland village. The crofter's son has no reading-room with
+ costly works of reference, scientific manuals, English
+ translations of Latin authors, etc., to go to when he is in need
+ of help. He begins the battle of life at a very serious
+ disadvantage, and often gives up the fight altogether. Anything
+ that tends to equalise the chances of town and country, from the
+ point of view of mental equipment, would do more general good to
+ Scotland, by bettering the available brain power, than any
+ half-dozen Acts of Parliament taken at random.
+
+
+GAELIC BOOKS.
+
+In selecting the books specially intended for the perusal of the older
+people, an attempt is made to meet the needs of the various localities.
+In the bi-lingual districts there is always a shelf of Gaelic books,
+such as the original texts of Norman Macleod's exquisite sermons,
+M'Rury's religious compilations, Macleod's clever poetry _The Lyre of
+the Grove_, Campbell's _Popular Tales of the West Highlands_, and Magnus
+Maclean's manuals of Celtic Literature. There being a distinct dearth of
+comely Celtic reading that the ordinary native can understand,
+arrangements have been made for the translation into Gaelic in several
+volumes by competent scholars, of extracts from Mr. Lang's _True Story
+Book_, and from other sources.
+
+The regrettable thing about Gaelic is its hopelessly bewildering
+spelling. The sounds are pleasing and melodious in a high degree, but
+they hide themselves behind most peculiar disguisements of print. Most
+people will admit, I think, that a language which spells Avon,
+_Amhuinn_, and Rory, _Ruaridh_, would benefit greatly by a visit from
+Pitman. The utility of sane phonetics was brought home to me very
+forcibly by a story I heard from a gentleman in the west of Skye. This
+gentleman is an excellent English scholar, can speak Gaelic but is
+unable to read it. He got a letter once from St. Kilda composed by an
+islander who spelt Gaelic by ear and not according to the awe-inspiring
+orthography of the dictionary. The gentleman, who could not have made
+out the letter had it been spelt correctly, was able to read it as it
+stood, without the slightest hesitation. If a more rational spelling
+were generally adopted, an immense number of Lowlanders who are
+interested in philology, would study the grand old tongue, were it only
+to understand the numberless place names of Celtic origin that occur in
+British geography.
+
+What I have said about Gaelic spelling explains the inability of a large
+percentage of the population to read a book printed in the native idiom.
+What is the use then, it may be asked, of translating the _True Story
+Book_? The answer is obvious to one who knows the Highlands. In the
+Outer Isles there are many old people who know no English and whose only
+literary solace comes from listening to others reading. At the evening
+_ceilidh_ a competent reader of Gaelic can usually be found. Then,
+again, we are likely to see, in the near future, a notable revival of
+interest in the old language, consequent on the efforts of the _Mod_,
+and on the recognition of Gaelic by the Department as a fit subject of
+study in the Highland schools. Such a revival, to be lasting in its
+effects, must be enforced and sustained by a constant supply of pure and
+interesting Gaelic books, both native and translated. Religious books
+there are in abundance, thanks to the zeal of the Protestant clergy.
+Needless to say, the compilations of the Dean of Lismore are as
+unintelligible to the modern Gael as Cynewulf is to a London cab-driver.
+I should like to see a round dozen of good English novels put into
+Gaelic by translators who knew the idiom thoroughly.
+
+The fervour displayed at Highland gatherings, admirable as it is from a
+sentimental point of view, is apt to grow cold at the prospect of
+laborious work to be done. It is not creditable that the great majority
+of Gaelic speakers are unable to read a page of Gaelic print. Nor is it
+creditable that those who can both read and speak, do so little for the
+interpretation of the literature. Blackie's books and translations are
+still among the best, and Blackie was a Lowlander, was born, indeed, in
+the Saltmarket of Glasgow. My frequent visits to the north and west have
+convinced me that another difficulty in the way of a possible resurgence
+of Gaelic is the lack of a recognised standard of colloquial speech. The
+language is split up into many dialects, each possessing its own special
+idioms and vocabulary. A Glasgow firm of printers not long ago conceived
+the idea of printing post-cards with Gaelic greetings: they found that
+every city Highlander they consulted had either in grammar or turn of
+phrase some special way of framing the sentences. "Grand Gaelic to-day!"
+is an exclamation sometimes heard at the door of a Highland church in
+town, and indicates that the minister who has officiated comes from the
+same strath as the person speaking.
+
+A moderate amount of encouragement to Gaelic is all that can reasonably
+be expected from the Government, seeing that the prime duty of the
+schoolmaster everywhere is to impart a sound knowledge of English.[2]
+
+ [2] In an editorial of June 6, 1908, the _Glasgow Herald_
+ excellently says:--"The first requisite for a Highlander is such
+ a knowledge of English as will open up to him the lucrative
+ employment from which ignorance of English must shut him out,
+ and it is no kindness to him to interfere with his acquisition
+ of this indispensable accomplishment.... So good a Gael as
+ Professor Magnus Maclean has observed that 'even more remarkable
+ than the dearth of philosophical and dramatic poems, and, we
+ might add, of narrative and pastoral poetry proper, is the
+ scarcity of Gaelic prose.' By all means, however, let a literary
+ knowledge of the Gaelic language be encouraged among
+ Gaelic-speaking children. It is a very different matter to
+ enforce such steps as would lead to the teaching of Gaelic to
+ children that live indeed in Gaelic-speaking districts but yet
+ speak only English."
+
+
+HAPPINESS AND GENIALITY OF NATIVES.
+
+What has struck me most in my travels by land and sea, is the
+extraordinary amount of happiness, geniality, and good humour that still
+exists in the world. There is a substantial amount of felicity in the
+majority of men. Every one knows the sentence of Emerson: "Give me
+health and a day, and I will make the pomp of empires ridiculous." I
+like to give concrete examples of philosophic maxims, and I should
+particularise Emerson's dictum thus: "Bard Macdonald of Trotternish,
+Skye, whose only cow came near being impounded by the Congested
+Districts Board in order to pay for the price of seed-potatoes furnished
+to him by the said Board, having good health, makes the pomp of empires
+ridiculous three hundred and sixty-five days every year." Bard Macdonald
+is a very poor man, yet he has contrived to hitch his waggon on to a
+fixed star. He lives in one of those low thatch-roofed bothies that,
+with the accompanying croft, are rented at from L2 to L4 a year. He has
+a wife and a large family. Yet, tormented as he is by present poverty
+and past arrears, he eyes the future with serenity. I heard him sing a
+Gaelic poem of his own composition, containing twenty-five verses of
+intricate versification, and at the conclusion he was far less exhausted
+than any of the company. Then, again, Torquil M'Gillivray, schoolmaster
+of a rainy township on the sea-edge of one of the Skye _nishes_, has
+tranquillity of mind as great as any of the Seven Sages ever enjoyed. He
+is perfectly contented with his lot of rural dominie, and when I, in my
+presumption, ventured to speak critically of certain social conditions
+in his beloved island, he rebuked me by crooning tenderly the following
+lines:
+
+ "Jerusalem, Athens, and Rome,
+ I would see them before I die,
+ But I'd rather not see any one of the three,
+ Than be exiled for ever from Skye!"
+
+We all know what a unique poetical gem Wordsworth composed after he
+heard a Highland girl singing at Inversnaid. I witnessed many fine
+examples of concentrated joy which might have resulted in metre if I had
+not had the presence of mind to pull myself up and refrain. One was at
+Acharacle, where in front of a croft a young fellow was dancing the
+Highland fling with such whole-souled and consuming zeal that I stood
+transfixed with wonder and awe. He was alone, and I came suddenly upon
+him at a sharp bend of the road. He threw his legs about him with such
+regardless glee, that for a moment I was afraid one of them would get
+unfixed and come spinning through the air to hit me. I watched him like
+one fascinated for fully ten minutes. When at length he saw me, the
+glory flowed suddenly off his legs; he subsided into a country bumpkin,
+and beat a hasty retreat indoors. "If Greek dances were as artistic as
+this one," said I, "and if the lines of each chorus had a reference to
+the diversity of the steps, it is little wonder that God in His
+providence should have sent us so many commentators to explain the
+mysteries of ancient scansion."
+
+Another instance of natural and spontaneous bliss came under my notice
+about two miles along from Kinlochewe, on the banks of Loch Maree. It
+was a glorious, sun-illumined spring morning, and every crevice in the
+rough flanks of Ben Slioch was mirrored in the unwrinkled surface of the
+noble loch. Ben Eay had a bright covering of Nature's whitest, softest
+lawn. No sounds were heard except the low droning of a vagrant bee, the
+whizzing of a sea-mew's pinions, or a bark from this croft answered by a
+bark from that other a mile away. Suddenly the repose of the morning, in
+which a pedestrian could hear the echo of his own feet, was startled by
+the voice of a girl singing. For a moment I thought of the _Lorelei_;
+but it was soon evident where the notes were coming from. A maiden of
+ten or twelve was sitting in front of a cottage that faced the lake,
+combing her long, black hair that glistened in the morning rays, and
+pouring forth such exquisite trills as might have made Orpheus envious.
+The whole beauty of ben, loch, and sky seemed to be gathered up in that
+child's song. I had been wandering along in the sparkling air and
+feeling that something ought to be done to intimate to Heaven that it
+was a heavenly morning. The girl felt so happy in the gracious gift of
+another blue day that her nature responded at once in a spontaneous
+burst of melody. I was very grateful for her vicarious hymn of praise--
+
+ "Now thanks to Heaven! that of its grace
+ Hath led me to this lonely place.
+ Joy have I had; and going hence
+ I bear away my recompense."
+
+
+OBAN TO GAIRLOCH.
+
+It is impossible for anyone who has a fair supply of the uncurdled milk
+of human kindness to sail from Oban to Gairloch and not be struck with
+the heartiness and good humour of the native population. Such a trip is
+rarely accomplished without some memorable incident or some outstanding
+impression. The landscape is doubtless magnificent, but the people one
+sees on the way are infinitely more interesting. No one, I am sure, can
+fail to observe the well-groomed, fresh, and imperial aspect of the pier
+policemen. The general polish of their boots and belts, the
+self-satisfied, Parnassian smile that never comes off, the spotless
+gloves, the muscular frame, combine to make up a splendid type of
+impressive Law grounded on Strength. I am ashamed to employ the term
+"policemen" to a body of officials who command such instantaneous
+respect. These men are King Edward's Highland satraps, and they both
+know it and feel it: law in the North is never undignified or unkempt.
+Then, again, the captain of the steamer is a man whom it is impossible
+to regard without veneration. All Macbrayne's men are fine fellows; they
+look well as they stand in stately fashion on the bridge: yet many a
+scowling sky of torrential rain they have to face, many a time have
+their beards been shaken by the hurricanes of the Minch. If you speak to
+a ship-captain, you are certain to get the utmost civility and
+politeness. It is true that most of them have several sets of
+vocabularies: to passengers they are urbane and choice of speech; but
+they have, within easy reach, another set of phrases, which they find of
+service in addressing delinquent mariners.
+
+A student of Virgil in making the trip I have alluded to above, would
+run the risk of recalling the passage in which the poet suggests that
+the big island of Sicily was at one time connected with the mainland,
+but that some huge convulsion of nature disjoined the twain and allowed
+the Mediterranean to come roaring in a channel between. The scenery of
+Western Scotland stirs the imagination to suppose that some similar
+catastrophe permitted the sea to mangle the fair uniformity of a
+prehistoric coast, submerge the low-lying lands, and leave a great
+number of islands lying in lonely fashion out in the watery waste.
+Heavy weather, truly, it must have been ere Coll, Tiree, Rum, and Eigg
+were sundered from the mainland by the Atlantic flow.
+
+All the islands I mention (save Tiree) can be seen from the deck of the
+_Gael_ during the earlier part of the daily passage of that boat from
+Oban in the summer season. Tiree is off the main tourist track, but a
+few antiquarians are now finding it worth their while to go and dig
+there for relics of byegone civilisation. A friend of mine, a zealous
+and erudite F.S.A., has spent many a pleasant holiday in Tiree, and has
+come back with loaded trunks of valuable prehistoric remains. Certain
+artists go out to the island regularly in order to transfer to canvas
+some of Nature's most impressive aspects of cloud, wave, and crag. Nor
+let me forget the doughty members of the _Faith Mission_, who evangelise
+this and others of the outer isles, and sing such sweet melodies to the
+natives as would melt any "Wee Free" heart, let alone an ordinary heart
+of stone. Tiree has long been famous for its schools and for its
+intelligent inhabitants; as a consequence, the libraries have been
+enthusiastically welcomed in its townships, and are regarded by the
+teachers there as a new and valuable adjunct of education. I have often
+heard it said that Tiree produces more ministers than any other
+district, of like population, in the Celtic part of Scotland. The Duke
+of Argyll does not allow any licensed house on the island, but he has
+not as yet suppressed the _Fingal_ and the parcels post. Should His
+Grace ever unbend so far as to permit the temperance hotels to obtain
+the licence, learned men might flock in greater numbers to Tiree, and
+dazzle themselves and the world with further antiquarian finds.[3]
+
+Rum has not been dowered with a Paisley library, and I regret to say
+that the natives have the reputation of not keeping the Sunday with
+ostentatious strictness. Eigg, the little island contiguous, is a little
+heaven below. The missionary there well deserves a word of commendation:
+the island of Muck is under his spiritual supervision, and with a
+sandwich and a sermon in his pocket, he often sets sail, scorning gust
+and current, to preach to his parishioners in that tiny islet.
+
+ [3] Coll is also a very interesting island for the antiquarian.
+ It contains distinct traces of twenty-nine Hill-forts or Duns,
+ so that there must have been lively times out there long ago.
+ Some fine shells, beads, pins and pottery have been found in the
+ prehistoric _kitchen-middens_. Before the Reformation the island
+ was thickly peopled, and sites of old churches and deserted
+ crofts are numerous. Coll has gone back in population; in 1901
+ it had 432 inhabitants; in 1755 the number of natives was 1,193.
+
+
+WINTER SAILING.
+
+The summer tourist knows Skye very imperfectly, for he goes there in a
+commodious steamer and traverses the island at a season when the days
+are long and the weather benign. No one should vaunt of knowing Skye
+unless he has seen it in winter also. It is the small _Lochiel_ that, in
+the dark days of December, bears the passengers along the chilly Sound
+of Sleat, and through the narrows of Raasay, into the haven of Portree.
+At such a time there is something fearsome and weird in the aspect of
+the coast, as seen from the cabin window of the brave little boat as
+she battles and plunges along in the teeth of the north-eastern gale.
+Her progress is slow, for when passengers are few Macbrayne wisely
+economises his coal. The long-stretching hills of Raasay (on the highest
+of which Boswell danced a jig) are white from head to foot, and gleam
+through the darkness of the afternoon, vivid and ghostly. As Raasay
+House, with its lamp-lit windows shining in a snowy recess, is
+approached, the engines slow down, and through the howl of the wind can
+be heard the plashing of oars. The broad waves swirl and seethe cruelly
+around the ferry-boat and toss it about at all angles, up and down, on
+crest and in trough, till you fear it will end its struggles keel
+upwards, and send the mail-bags down among the mackerel. But the boatmen
+know their trade, and so do the dripping, top-booted seamen of the
+_Lochiel_. Amid much running and shuffling and casting of ropes and
+animated bandying of (I fear) strong expressions in Gaelic sung out upon
+the night, the ship's ladder is cast down and the boat tied thereto. In
+a few minutes the transfer of mails is over, the ladder up, and the
+small boat leaping back to land. (I speak of December 22, 1904). A new
+passenger has come on board and is seen to descend the cabin stairs to
+unfreeze his fingers over the tiny stove. Half-an-hour's heaving still
+remains before Portree. A lady who has been on the border-line of
+squeamishness for the last hour, hurriedly leaves the cabin, probably to
+see if her luggage is all right. Good news at last for all! Portree is
+visible, and its lights are twinkling on the height. The moon comes
+graciously out, silvering the snowy shoulders of Essie Hill. What a
+contrast is this moonlit haven, with its background of terraced lights,
+to the rough surges outside. Glad indeed is everyone to set foot on the
+pier and trudge through disregarded slush to the warmth of home or
+hotel. We are told by our island friends that all Skye is under snow and
+that the roads are impassable. No mail-coach has ventured to Dunvegan
+for two days and in other directions, the postmen, turned cavaliers,
+have gone off on horseback with their letters. (Let me say in passing,
+that a red-bearded Highland postman, clad in post-office livery and
+seated on a sheltie, is a sight which any artist would go a hundred
+miles to see.)
+
+Winter sailing may at times be as pleasant as a cruise in June. At 8
+A.M. in the snug cabin, the breakfast-table, with its tea, ham, eggs,
+and sausages, is a welcome piece of scenery, and the genial talk of the
+captain and his colleagues is far better than pepsine as a digestive.
+After breakfast, a pipe on deck is a necessity. Who that has once seen
+Ben-na-ceallich all white to the feet and softly veiled with airy mists,
+but wishes he were a Turner to paint, or a Shelley to sing? The sail
+from Broadford to Kyle on a calm, cold, snow-dazzling morning is (if one
+is wrapped and coated well) absolutely majestic. The sun pours, if not
+warmth, at least light and heat on the hundred bens of the mainland and
+the breeze aiding, wakens a multitudinous smile on the glittering face
+of the cold waters.
+
+I never take this trip without thinking of such books as _The Brave Sons
+of Skye_, which gives a record of the brave men born in the misty island
+who have come south and distinguished themselves in many a different
+walk in life. It is a most inspiring thing to reflect on the dauntless
+way in which genius treads the stony road that leads from poverty to
+glory. There is not a district in Skye but has its great man, who forms
+the subject of conversation round the peat fire when the winter winds
+are blowing down the strath. "From Log Cabin to White House" is the
+American way of putting it: in Scotland we might say "From Crofter's Cot
+to Professor's Chair."
+
+
+A CROFTING VILLAGE.
+
+The sight of a crofting village is at first rather surprising to one
+accustomed to large towns. The low roofs are not far from the ground.
+Often, while driving, if you turn a corner swiftly, you run the risk of
+being thrown out of the trap on to one of the chimneys. It does not take
+much imagination, especially in the dim dusk, to transform a
+low-thatched cot into some weird animal that might begin to walk along
+the hill-side at any moment. So irregularly grouped are the townships,
+dropped here and there, as it were, that you might fancy the houses had
+begun at one time to run a race with each other, and in the middle of it
+had suddenly stopped. Dr. Johnson complained that the windows were fixed
+into the walls and could not, in consequence, be opened to let in the
+air. That fault exists to some extent still: I have been told, however,
+that peat reek is very purifying, and that its thick fumes make short
+work of any noxious germs that might lodge about the nooks of the
+interior. Great changes are gradually coming over many of the clachans,
+changes not loved by an artist or a devotee of the picturesque. Instead
+of thatch, held down by ropes weighted with heavy stones, there is often
+to be seen a roofing of tarred cloth or corrugated iron. Romance might
+attach itself to a roof of thatch, but corrugated iron, with its
+distressing parallelism, could never awaken a genuine lyric note.
+Further, it does not make a very comfortable seat, whereas thatch is
+soft. Now, children in the Highlands are rather fond of sitting and even
+playing on the roof: thatch is less cruel on bare feet than iron is.
+
+
+HORRORS OF THE MINCH.
+
+I have alluded to the distresses of winter voyaging to Skye. But there
+are other routes worse, notably that from Tarbert in Harris to
+Lochmaddy, which is a perfect Tartar of a trip. When the wind is high
+and contrary, the traveller (if he can stay on deck and maintain an
+interest in the scenery), beholds a sight of extreme grandeur. The waves
+are to be seen all along the Harris coast leaping up to a terrific
+extent with an unbroken line of foam extending for miles. So much does
+the boat romp and dance, however, that most passengers forsake the deck
+and retire inelegantly below. When a man lies in a stuffy cabin wishing
+himself wedged into it to prevent the perpetual rolling to this side and
+to that, and hearing the desperate thud of the Minch flinging itself
+against the port-hole, a series of vivid panoramic pictures pass before
+his mental eye. Home appears so lovely and reposeful: faces of friends
+on shore arise, transfigured by the glow of love: the squeamishness and
+retching he endures seem to the sufferer a special and direct judgment
+on him for impiously endeavouring to find pleasure otherwise than by the
+practice of the domestic virtues. Disquieting memories of bursting
+boilers surge up to the surface of the mind, and old catches like the
+weird ballad of Sir Patrick Spens lilt themselves to the clank of the
+staggering ship's machinery--
+
+ "The anchor's brak and the tapmast lap,
+ It was sic a deadly storm,
+ And the waves dashed into the gude ship's side
+ Till a' her planks were torn."
+
+The romance of the sea is apt to vanish as you look out upon a
+wilderness of foaming water, tossing the boat like an insignificant toy,
+drenching the bulwarks and vehemently smiting everything in its riotous
+anger. Neptune seems a mere blind force without reverence or mercy for
+the works of man. It is good for a boy of romantic disposition to cross
+to the Long Island in a gale: it will effectually cure him of all desire
+to take up the profession of pirate. What a sad moment for such a youth
+when he sees his breakfast where it shouldn't be, and reflects that he
+has not the staying power of Sir Ralph the Rover!
+
+I regret to say that I have no specific to give as a preventive for
+sea-sickness. Even the Phoenicians who had time, during the intervals
+of their hardy voyaging, to invent the alphabet, were unable to devise a
+remedy for the _mal de mer_. Custom does not create immunity, for even
+the mighty Nelson, who had a life-long acquaintance with the ocean, was
+afflicted with sea-sickness to the end of his days. In France there
+exists a _Ligue contre le mal de mer_, commenting upon which a French
+journalist says: _Avec une ligue on est toujours assure d'une chose: a
+defaut de progres, qu'elle nous fera peut-etre attendre, elle fera des
+congres: et c'est du moins une consolation que de pouvoir discourir de
+son mal._
+
+He that will to Cupar maun through Fife, and he that has business in the
+Lews must brave the billows of the Minch.
+
+
+NOTES ON LEWIS.
+
+The great island of Lewis, formerly so distant from Edinburgh and
+Glasgow, can now be reached in fourteen hours by one who leaves the
+latter city at 5.40 A.M. The old route was very tiresome and circuitous:
+the traveller had to proceed to Inverness, take the Dingwall and Skye
+line to Strome Ferry, and then sail over the Minch to Stornoway. The
+opening up of the West Highlands by the railway to Mallaig has changed
+all that. At Mallaig pier, when you leave the train, you find the
+connecting steamer ready to set off, at noon, for its journey to
+Stornoway, where it arrives about eight in the evening.
+
+I don't think anyone would want to stay more than a week at a time in
+Stornoway. The town itself is just like the fishy part of
+Boulogne-sur-Mer, only more so. There is a pervading odour of mussels,
+bait, and herring, and the gulls go flapping overhead in crowds
+everywhere. If the tourist remained a week in the place, he would go
+every day to the Castle grounds. Here, if anywhere, is the paradise of
+the Lews. There is a profusion of dells, burns, glades, ivy-grown
+bridges, and far-extending vistas over sea, moorland, and town. As with
+a knife (so precise is the division) the well-wooded policies are
+separated from the barren and disheartening moor. When one gets to the
+highest point of the grounds and gazes over the long, tiresome slopes of
+the island, one's belief in _design in nature_ gets a sudden stab. A man
+will think long and sore before he arrives at any _raison d'etre_ for
+including such a wilderness of bogs in the scheme of creation.
+
+The men of the island are, in the main, shrewd, resourceful, and
+intelligent--qualities fostered by their constant fighting with the sea.
+"The young fellows here," said one of the hotel-keepers to me, "will
+either make a spoon or spoil a horn. They come to a decision speedily
+and put it into practice at once. It is hit or miss with them, usually
+hit. At sea, in a gale, there is no time for parliamenting; and Lewismen
+act on land with the swift decision that is needed in a tempest." All
+round the coast are fishing-villages, thickly populated by these
+intrepid children of the tempest.
+
+Fishing is a precarious industry, and often fails. The harvest of the
+land may fail at the same time as that of the sea: in such a case the
+plight of the islanders is sad indeed. During the last five years, the
+trade of weaving has been wisely fostered by the Government, so that in
+future, when sea and soil are churlish, the loom will to some extent
+supply the lack. The Duchess of Sutherland and the Congested Districts
+Board have done excellent service in encouraging the tweed-weaving
+industry all over the Long Island. Her Grace, some years ago, made a
+progress through Lewis and addressed the people by means of an
+interpreter, on the advantages of such industry in their homes. She also
+instituted exhibition sales of work in the big cities of the south, with
+the result that large quantities of cloth were sold and a precious
+publicity given to the scheme. Depots for receiving the cloth from the
+workers are now established in Stornoway and Harris. The Congested
+Districts Board advance money without interest for the purchase of
+looms, provide an experienced instructor to supply the people with new
+patterns, and give an adequate supply of dye-pots free of charge. This
+instructor goes over the whole of Lewis and Harris, spending month about
+in each, erecting new looms and modernising old ones. There is a large
+carding mill in Stornoway, where the natives can have the wool
+expeditiously carded in the most approved modern style. An industry thus
+fostered and supervised is bound to succeed.
+
+Educationally, the Long Island is making great progress. Higher
+education is almost entirely centred in the Nicolson Institute,
+Stornoway, a school admirably conducted and finely equipped. The pupils
+of marked ability in the elementary schools of Lewis come here to
+continue their higher studies, and, in many cases, to prepare themselves
+for the University. I have seen specimens of a magazine, annually put
+forth by the senior pupils of this school, and containing many
+interesting essays and poems, grave and gay. The English of the essays
+was remarkably good, and contained here and there some piquant
+suggestions of Gaelic idiom. The pupils read French well, probably
+because their native Gaelic contains such a rich reservoir of nasal
+sounds to draw upon.
+
+
+HIGHLAND DOCTORS.
+
+I have a great respect for the medical gentlemen who have taken up their
+position in remote districts of Scotland, and devote themselves to the
+healing art under most disadvantageous circumstances. The distances are
+incredibly long and dangerous in winter: I have in my mind an insular
+doctor who has a deal of midnight boating to do in glacial weather, and
+whose bills are often paid not in coin but _in fleece newly off the
+sheep's back_. As the population gets smaller, the doctor's work becomes
+more laborious and less remunerative. The institution of district nurses
+has been a great success, and I wish there were more of them. A
+sympathetic and competent _nurse_ is a valuable asset in a crofting or
+seafaring community. In one district of Mull, recently visited, I found
+that the nurse was also the village librarian. She was quite at home
+both with lotions and literature, and could recommend a poet or prepare
+a poultice with equal skill. The ante-room to the village hall was her
+dispensary: it seemed to me remarkably complete, and to have as
+scientific an odour as any city pharmacy. I was glad to see that the
+Clan Maclean was so well supplied with the resources of modern
+civilisation.
+
+In every one of the village libraries there is a copy of Black's
+_Medical Dictionary_, a most useful compilation, written in clear and
+simple language, and detailing all the commonest remedies. Many rural
+teachers and clergymen have considerable skill in coping with illness.
+Every country minister should have at least a smattering of medical
+knowledge.[4]
+
+ [4] At Spean Bridge there is a worthy old farmer, Mr. Chalmers,
+ who has a widespread fame for dexterous bone-setting, a talent
+ which is said to have descended to him from a long line of
+ forbears. A young gentleman from Glasgow was in the hotel there
+ during my stay, and from personal experience spoke of Mr.
+ Chalmers's remarkable powers. He told me that patients come from
+ far and near (after eminent surgeons have failed to give
+ benefit), in order to be treated at Spean Bridge.
+
+
+HOTELS AND ANGLERS.
+
+Wherever the angler goes, you find a good hotel. Uist is low-lying and
+barren, with nothing to attract the eye--no tourist would go near the
+place for anything it has to show in the way of scenery. But as it has
+hundreds of small lochs, full of fish, ardent anglers go thither from
+all parts of the British Isles; and so at Lochmaddy and Lochboisdale the
+hotels are not merely good, they are excellent. The recording angel is
+kept busy, during the season, in taking a note of all the myths told
+there by the fishers in the evening over the whisky and soda.
+
+There may be heard, at night, in most hotels in the Western Isles, the
+riotous scampering of rats overhead and along the walls. In Lochmaddy
+hotel there used to be an old frisker (perhaps he is living still) that
+gave great entertainment, though no one ever saw him. He lifted a stone,
+evidently with his mouth, ran a yard or two with it, and then dropped it
+with a great clatter. The game was a pleasure to him, for he would
+practice it for half an hour at a time. The anglers who frequented the
+hotel called him _the mason_.
+
+I have got into conversation with innumerable knights of the rod, and
+can sympathise to a slight extent with their enthusiasm. Nothing seems
+to take hold of a man so irrevocably as Walton's mania. Travelling by
+night in the north lately, I looked out into the dusk from the carriage
+window and beheld a bright flash of lightning, and by the gleam thereof
+saw a midnight maniac with his rod silhouetted against the vast inane.
+How few fishers nowadays, except perhaps Mr. Andrew Lang, can write
+their experiences in good marrowy English--
+
+ The quaint loquacious wits of long ago,
+ Whose ease was never broken by the shrill
+ Whistle of engine panting round the hill,
+ Could by the brook where fishful waters flow,
+ Spend the long hours in angling to and fro,
+ And hooking lusty trout and salmon, till
+ The low-descending sun and evening chill
+ Would send them to the merry ingle-glow;
+ Then, after fit refection, pen and ink
+ Would consecrate on paper all their feats
+ In rippling phrases flashing with the blink
+ Of forest glades and living water-sheets;
+ The race is poorer now than it was then:
+ We have no anglers that can wield the pen.
+
+I believe the best region in all Scotland for trout is the wild and
+picturesque county of Sutherland. In the district of Assynt alone there
+are 150 lochs, fine sheets of water most of them, lying about among the
+hills. Half-way between the two seas and just on the borders of
+Sutherland and Ross, is the cosy wee hotel of Altnacealgach, with a
+well-stocked loch at the door, from which hundredweights of trout are
+taken every year. The air that blows about the house is to that of
+London as champagne is to dish-water.
+
+There is a close connection, as I said, between the frequentation of a
+district by anglers and the excellence of its hotels. Where there is no
+great influx of tourists, the hotel accommodation is decidedly poor. I
+remember one inn, at a cold windy clachan on the west coast, which only
+stress of weather and dire necessity would make a man enter. Dirty stone
+steps, worn and crumbled in the centre, led to an upper room which had
+apparently not been swept out for a year or two. Not even the city of
+Cologne in Coleridge's time could have produced from among its imposing
+catalogue of stenches anything to match the complex ensemble of that
+malodorous inn. There was stale fish intil't, and bad beer intil't, and
+peat reek intil't, and mice intil't, and candle grease intil't, and the
+devil and all intil't. Though I was the only visitor, I feared I should
+not have the bed to myself: so I e'en wrapped myself in my Highland
+plaidie (after the minimum of disinvestiture), and stretched my limbs on
+an arthritic settee, with intent to sleep. No sleep came till the
+quaffing roysterers of the clachan had ceased fighting under the moon
+outside, about 2 A.M. namely. Rather than stay two nights in such a
+place, I boated out early next day into the mid-channel of the Sound of
+Mull, and clambered up the sides of Macbrayne's _Lapwing_, which took me
+to Oban.
+
+
+RECENT BOOKS.
+
+The most charming of recent works on the Outer Islands is that one of
+which the preface was written in Jerusalem. I refer to the volume of
+Miss Goodrich Frere, a lady whose vivacity, fervour, and picturesque
+style are deserving of unqualified praise. All the libraries in the
+bilingual districts contain the book, and few are so often asked for. In
+conversation and publicly I have often given myself the pleasure of
+recommending it, alike to Highlander and Lowlander. My admiration for
+Miss Frere's talents makes me wish that one or two of her prejudices had
+been less glaringly displayed. She speaks, for example, with something
+like scornful reproach of Lochmaddy, because the habit of taking
+afternoon tea is common in that township. It would have been more to the
+purpose if Miss Frere had issued a general warning to the people of the
+Hebrides not to drink tea as black as porter, and, above all, not to
+boil it. The pale anaemic faces one so often sees in the north and west,
+the mental prostration and actual insanity so alarmingly on the increase
+in the Long Island, are unquestionably due, in great measure, to the
+abominably strong tea that is swilled in such quantities there. A
+Tarbert doctor told me that the medical profession now talk quite
+familiarly of the Harris stomach just as drapers talk of Harris tweed:
+the former is, he averred, as weak and devoid of tone as the latter is
+strong and of good texture. This doctor was called up at two one morning
+to attend a patient in one of the moorland townships. At that hour, away
+over there on the gusty rim of the Atlantic, the natives were all afoot.
+People were talking to each other at the doorsteps; lamps were lighted
+inside, and tea that had been boiling for hours among the red peats, was
+being imbibed with infinite gusto. This, the doctor assured me, was the
+normal style of living.[5]
+
+Talking of North Uist, Miss Frere shows indignation at the invasion of
+southern ideas, and thinks that everything is being vitiated by the
+taint of Lochmaddy. Lochmaddy, characterised in so droll a way, is a
+tiny township with a Sheriff Court, a church, a few well-built modern
+houses, a school, and an excellent hotel. Cleanliness is a welcome
+feature of the place, and I am sorry to say that the same can not be
+said of certain crofting villages not far distant. I expect that the
+visits of the Government Sanitary Officer, whom I met at Lochmaddy, and
+who knows his business well, will ultimately work an enormous amount of
+good. That gentleman gave me such unsavoury details regarding the
+conditions of life in certain of the townships as made me hope that the
+"taint of Lochmaddy," that is to say, the cleanliness and civilised
+life of that village, may more and more become evident throughout both
+the Uists. Improved sanitation would allow heaven's breath to circulate
+through the low-lying cots and prevent them from being hot-beds of
+malignant disease.
+
+One feature of Miss Frere's book which does honour to her fine sympathy,
+but which is not ethnologically justifiable, is the persistent attempt
+to draw a sharp racial distinction between Highlander and Lowlander. The
+truth is, that no part of the Highlands is purely Celtic: the population
+is a welter of Picts, Gaels, Norsemen, Danes, and Saxons. The Lowland
+blood is, in like manner, a bewildering blend, there being no
+uncontaminated Anglo-Saxon district in any single county of Scotland.
+Mr. J. M. Robertson's clever book, _The Saxon and the Celt_, seems to me
+to dispose finally of certain fallacies that Hill Burton and others have
+light-heartedly written on the subject of racial characteristics. The
+conditions of life, the ungeniality of sea and soil, the wild and grand
+aspect of nature, influence thought, feeling, and character at least as
+much as blood and heredity.[6]
+
+Another delightful book on the Outer Hebrides is that written by Mr. W.
+C. Mackenzie. Proceeding in the order of chronology, the author gives a
+vivid series of historic summaries (enlivened by many a piquant episode
+and humorous touch) of the Long Island from the earliest times. The
+wanderings of Prince Charlie, and the condition of the country after
+Culloden, have never been better told than in Mr. Mackenzie's narrative.
+
+ [5] The student of eugenics will note that among the tea-bibbing
+ islanders of the west the teeth of the natives are poor. My
+ experience tends to show that the best teeth in Scotland are to
+ be found in Aberdeenshire. When a Buchan audience laughs, there
+ is a gleam of polished ivory that is very impressive; but rural
+ Aberdeen has deviated less into slops than any other part of
+ Britain.
+
+ [6] "There are probably now more persons of Highland descent in
+ the Lowlands than in the Highlands themselves."--_Scotland of
+ To-Day_, by Henderson and Watt, p. 300. See also note at end of
+ chapter on Inverness surnames, etc.
+
+
+MILITARY.
+
+I hinted at the beginning of this chapter that the barracks of the
+Highland regiments had been supplied with extensive libraries for the
+use of the soldiers during their leisure hours. Fort-George, the
+erection of which was directly due to the Highland rebellions, has been
+presented with two fine libraries, and I am happy to say that the men
+greatly appreciate the gift. I happened to be in the vicinity of
+Fort-George when the Duke of Connaught was conducting an official
+inspection. The little town of Ardersier, which is some two miles from
+the Fort, was gay with bunting for the ducal visit. The books at the
+Fort are under the charge of Sergeant-Major Markham, an able
+elocutionist and one who, in his own sphere, does an immense amount of
+good. He gets the young recruits to band themselves together in social
+clubs, organises games and entertainments for them, and encourages them
+to read and study. The philanthropic Sergeant-Major was engaged in
+typing a catalogue of the books when the genial Duke came upon the
+scene. His Royal Highness was astonished to see such a magnificent
+selection of reading matter at the disposal of the soldiers, and eagerly
+asked for information as to the origin of the boon. His curiosity was
+satisfied, and when he heard that the same donor had given appropriate
+libraries to the garrisons at Inverness, Dingwall, and Kinbrace, he
+exclaimed, "Such a gentleman is indeed the Soldier's Friend."
+
+Since the Duke's visit, a small library of books has been sent to the
+children's school at the Fort. The population of this military
+community, containing as it does a great many married men with their
+wives and families, is fully equal to that of Ardersier, and
+necessitates a separate school. I was struck with the pronunciation of
+the children in this part of the country. Many of the Fort children,
+having mothers from the other side of the Border, speak with an
+unmistakable English accent and are rather unscrupulous with respect to
+the aspirate. The town of Inverness, which is at no great distance from
+Fort-George, has long been famous for its clear and unprovincial English
+speech, a fact which Johnson (oddly enough) thought due to some of
+Cromwell's soldiers having settled there.
+
+Dr. Johnson devotes two pleasant little paragraphs to describe his visit
+to Fort-George and his entertainment there by Sir Eyre Coote. I have
+always admired the Doctor's sly way of avoiding a description of the
+Fort: "I cannot," he says, "delineate it scientifically, and a loose and
+popular description is of use only when the imagination is to be
+amused."
+
+In spite of the menace of Fort-George, the Highlanders fondly cherished
+the memory of Charlie for many a year. To no subject even now do their
+descendants listen with such rapt attention as to his tragic story. I
+have heard indeed of a Highland minister who was so displeased at the
+homage paid to the Prince's memory by some of his flock, that he threw
+at them the unanswerable question, "What will Prince Charlie do for you
+at the day of judgment?"
+
+I have had the curiosity to ask some of the Session Clerks of country
+parishes that were in the line of the insurgents' advance or retreat, if
+any references to the rebellion appear in the minutes of the year 1745.
+No references appear, as a rule, for that year; but, under 1746, there
+are brief accounts of church discipline being exercised in the case of a
+few illegitimate births,--the paternity being ascribed usually to _ane
+sodger_.[7]
+
+At Inverness and Dingwall there exist similar libraries of great range
+and excellence. The men show an interest in Miss Marie Corelli's works
+that is rather astonishing. Their hard and strenuous drill does not
+deprive them of a curiosity to know something about _Barabbas_ and _The
+Sorrows of Satan_. Sir Conan Doyle and Dr. Neil Munro are also great
+favourites, and deserve to be.
+
+A large number of the Inverness recruits come from the Long Island. They
+almost invariably require to be taken to the hospital a week or two
+after their arrival. Change of diet and new modes of life seem to upset
+them at first. For those who have a mind to improve themselves, there
+are abundant opportunities. The reading and recreation rooms are well
+appointed and comfortable. Altogether, the regular life, physical drill,
+and healthy tone of the barracks must have a most beneficial effect on
+the men.
+
+I am bound to say that I do not greatly admire the English style of the
+gentleman who composes the War Office placards that one sees at railway
+stations in the north. These are meant to allure country labourers to
+join the army, but the following piece of fatuous rhetoric must surely
+act rather as a deterrent than otherwise:--"Are you, the descendants of
+those who conquered India and carried the colours of the Gordon
+Highlanders through the Peninsula and at Waterloo, _content to sit at
+home, or be satisfied with dull labours in the fields or at the mills_,
+whilst the ranks of your own regiment are filled by strangers from the
+South?" I heard two freckled rustics, with difficulty and labour hard,
+spelling out the phrases of the foregoing sentence at the little station
+of Fyvie. They did not seem at all impressed by the fervent
+interrogation nor by this picture of prospective delights: "_Many of
+your countrymen have seen the wonders of the Indian Empire and enjoyed
+the soft calm of Malta, and of Ceylon, the Paradise of the Ancients._"
+It does not evince much knowledge of a ploughman's mind to seek to
+awaken his martial ardour by old myths about the Garden of Eden; nor is
+it specially alluring to him to mention, as the acme of glory, that he
+may distinguish himself so much as to gain "_thanks from both Houses of
+Parliament_." Such weak and watery declamation won't do for a country
+that has had thirty-eight years of compulsory education. If our War
+Office wishes to rouse patriotic feeling, it should cease to contrast
+"the dull labour of the fields" with "the soft calm of Malta": the
+veriest clown would not be caught by such chaff. It would be more to the
+point to send gratuitous copies of _The Barrack Room Ballads_ to all the
+village libraries.
+
+ [7] I have heard it maintained by some zealots, whom I greatly
+ esteem, that Gaelic is a highly _moral_ language, that the use of
+ it conduces to purity of life and thought, and that everyone
+ would be improved in tone by contact with its roots. Those
+ ministers who have charge of Session Records, chronicling events
+ that happened before English was known in the West, cannot
+ unreservedly corroborate these views.
+
+
+MORAY FIRTH.
+
+My various visits to the shores of the Moray Firth have convinced me
+that a man may enjoy the majesty and terror of the sea without embarking
+on a boat at all. All he need do is to take a ticket to Portsoy in the
+month of March, when the wind is snell and the clouds low. I have never
+seen a more grim or cruel-looking coast than that which stretches for
+miles east and west of Portsoy. One shudders even at the thought of
+those detestable, razor-edged rocks, tilted up at all angles, with the
+tide for ever boiling and hissing about them. Neither by land nor sea,
+at many parts of the coast, can you get to what might be reasonably
+called a beach. The so-called shore-road is high up on the hills, and
+gives a good view far out over the billows, but does not take the
+traveller's feet near the water at all. Ill-advised would he be who
+should strive to guide his skiff from the outer firth to any chance cove
+on the shore, for the uncouth crags, huge and sombre, would have no
+mercy on any timber jointed by the hand of man. Perhaps the summer sun
+would give a gentler appearance to the rocky and wave-beaten shore, but
+I am certain Mr. Swinburne would prefer to see it in March.
+
+The town of Portsoy in itself cannot be said to have much comeliness;
+the streets are irregular, the houses dismal, and the shops few. God
+has, as is meet, the best of the architecture, most of the churches
+being graceful and well-spired.
+
+About twenty minutes by rail from Portsoy is the trim and typical
+fishing village of Portknockie, high-raised on a hill, and with little
+protection from any wind that Aeolus may send out of his cavern. The
+population comes near 1,600 souls, and it is rare to find a native who
+is not called by one of the following surnames: _Mair_, _Wood_, _Munro_,
+_Pirrie_. I believe such a dearth of appellatives is the invariable rule
+in the fishing villages of the North Sea. To counteract the confusion
+that would inevitably arise, an agnomen or "tee-name" is usually
+appended. The Portknockie tee-names are _Mash_, _Deer_, _Doodoo_,
+_Bobbin_, and _Shavie_. Examples of postal addresses are--
+
+ John Wood (Bobbin), Portknockie.
+ Duncan Munro (Doodoo), "
+ Samuel Pirrie (Shavie), "
+ Daniel Mair (Mash), "
+
+I don't envy the young minister who, fresh from Lucian, has to read with
+solemnity a roll of such communicants.
+
+Between Portknockie and the sea-town of Cullen is a charming stretch of
+links and sea-sands. Over the broad Firth, as one looks north-west, may
+be faintly seen the hills of Sutherland and Caithness.
+
+It is pleasant to read books amid the scenery in which they were
+conceived, and among the people they portray. Those who spend their
+holidays at Cullen would act wisely in reading George Macdonald's novels
+there. No one has drawn the character of the Moray Firth fisherman so
+lovingly, beautifully, and sympathetically as he. After reading such a
+tale as the _Marquis of Lossie_ one looks upon places like Portknockie
+and the sea-town of Cullen with different eyes. The toilers of the deep
+that go forth on the waters from these seaboard shires are serious and
+moral men. Contact with the sea and the presence of danger at all hours,
+have made them alert, keen, and dexterous. Most of the crews carry a box
+of choice books with them for their odd hours of leisure when they go to
+the Yarmouth fishing. Let a stranger get into conversation with one or
+two of these hardy heroes, and he will be surprised at their
+intelligence and wide interests. He will certainly conclude that the
+young fisherman, Malcolm Macphail, whom Macdonald introduces in the
+novel mentioned, is no exaggeration, but true to the life.
+
+The sea-town of Cullen consists of some hundreds of houses closely
+huddled together just at the edge of the sea. The rank odour of wreck,
+tar, fishing-gear, and bait, pervades the air, and is effectually kept
+from corruption by the searching sea-breezes that are ever blowing. When
+not engaged on the water, the men are busy mending their nets, stitching
+their sails, making fast the seams of their craft and tarring the big
+inflated floaters that support the lines. They are quite ready to chat
+with a stranger and discuss their methods of working, their gains,
+mishaps, and partnerships.
+
+When the fishing season is over and the crews are known to be on the way
+home, the excitement among the women is intense. No Bourse ever tingled
+more feverishly with rumours and sinister fears than Sandhaven or
+Rosehearty or Seatown at such a crucial time. Costly nets may be riven,
+boats may be stove in by untoward accidents, or worse than all, fathers,
+husbands and brothers may be drowned on the road home to their loved
+ones. Rarely does a season pass without bringing sorrow to the heart of
+some waiting wife or sister.
+
+The joys, hopes, and fears of these maritime townships have been
+worthily made vocal by Dr. George Macdonald. He has done this with a
+grace and an artistic conception that raise his stories to a very high
+rank in pure literature. I am afraid Macdonald is not much read by the
+present generation: his stories are too long, too philosophical, perhaps
+too poetical, for the taste of to-day. Every book of his is saturated
+from beginning to end with the religion of the Gospels--a religion of
+love, beauty, tolerance, and sympathy.
+
+I am happy to say that I saw Dr. Macdonald once and heard him speak. His
+venerable aspect and chaste elocution made a powerful impression on all
+who heard him. His discourse could not be reported in cold print, for
+the flash of the mystic's eye, the human kindness that emanated from his
+whole being, and the felt emotion of his every tone could not be
+reproduced by any artifice known to the printer.
+
+The Forfarshire fishwives have quite a Dutch mania for cleanliness. On
+Saturdays they give their homes a complete overhaul, and the men are
+driven out of doors during the ceremony. What man could stay at home
+when his wife, supplied with a mop and a big pail of soapy water, is
+sousing the floor and the walls? Furniture is scrubbed and dusted, glass
+ornaments, porcelain hens, and shell-boxes have to be carefully wiped,
+grates and fire-irons must be rubbed to a glittering polish. These
+industrious women, panting with the enthusiasm of work, enjoy Saturday
+more than any other day of the week. The enjoyment springs from various
+causes. There is first the delight that comes from a vigorous exercise
+of the muscles. This pleasure is heightened by the knowledge that the
+work is for a good end, and that on Sunday the house will be
+resplendent, immaculate, and peaceful. It is not to be denied that the
+feeling of satisfaction at having evicted the husband is also an
+important item. When he comes home from discussing politics with his
+co-mates and brothers in exile, she will not fail to jibe him on the
+general worthlessness of his existence, and accuse him of intemperance.
+
+
+AMONG THE MINERS.
+
+A fishing village has a picturesqueness and a kinship with Nature and
+the hills, utterly lacking in a mining locality. The squalid rows of the
+latter, arranged in wretched, heart-breaking symmetry, are an offence to
+the landscape. Mud and filth cumber the door-steps, runnels of
+malodorous water ooze along the rows, ragged and ill-kempt bairns tumble
+about like little savages. A pitiful sight it is to see the black squads
+of colliers returning to their homes after a day in the damp bowels of
+the earth: greasy caps with little oil-lamps attached, wet, miry
+clothing and grimy faces, all make up a most saddening spectacle. The
+wages given to these poor fellows are miserably meagre, considering that
+after the age of forty-five, their limbs are stiffened with rheumatism
+and their lungs the seat of chronic asthma. It is not surprising that
+miners should be intemperate, and that their recreations should rise no
+higher than dog-racing and cock-fighting.
+
+It is very unpleasant to think that so much good bone and muscle is
+being ground and destroyed by work so brutalising and unnatural. Coal
+must be brought to the surface for the wants of civilisation, and in the
+process the collier is destroyed, body and soul. Society needs
+constantly to be reminded of its duties towards those who, in Helot
+fashion, clean the drains and work the mines. Those duties involve more
+than the distribution of tracts.
+
+I had the opportunity of speaking to a crowded meeting of miners in the
+county of Stirling quite recently, and was immensely pleased with the
+behaviour and close attention of the audience. Before the speaking
+began, the proceedings resembled a University Graduation Ceremony, that
+is, there was a great deal of whistling, cat-calling, and rowdy
+merriment. The audience kept on their caps, and many of them, disdaining
+the use of chairs and benches, squatted against the walls in the
+position so dear to subterranean workers. Once the lecture began, the
+resemblance to a University gathering ceased, for the colliers behaved
+like gentlemen. What subject, it may be asked, could possibly interest
+an assembly of illiterate miners? It so happens that, in Scotland, we
+have a great number of working-men poets, who have, in a homely but very
+graphic way, voiced the feelings of the labouring classes, and given fit
+expression to every joy and sorrow that men experience in this mortal
+round. These hodden-gray bards furnish abundance of material for giving
+even the humblest and most untrained mind a few glimpses of what is
+meant by literature. Burns has a broad and brawny humanity that appeals
+to all men, and, besides Burns, there are scores of major and minor
+warblers that are interesting, quotable, and full of grace.
+
+The wild and unruly manners of some mining districts, even at the
+present day, may partly be explained by remembering that up to the end
+of the eighteenth century, colliers were serfs and, as such, were not
+allowed to leave the mines and seek work elsewhere. When a pit was sold,
+the workers passed as a matter of course into the hands of the new
+proprietor. The son of a miner was compelled to follow the father's
+occupation.[8] Slavery fixed a brutalising mark on generation after
+generation that is not yet entirely erased. In the first half of the
+nineteenth century the knights of the shuttle--intellectual,
+disputatious, and lyrical--looked down with infinite contempt on the
+ignorant and boorish slaves of the pick. Poetry has, in consequence,
+little to say about the digger for coal. The song of "The Collier
+Laddie," attributed to Burns, is one of the very few pleasant pieces of
+verse associated with the miner.
+
+The Scotch mining villages of to-day contain a queer juxtaposition of
+nationalities, and the proportion of native colliers is becoming less
+and less. Thousands of Irish families from Ulster and Connaught are now
+settled permanently in the counties of Lanark, Stirling, and Ayr. The
+alien Pole, too, is to be found in the same regions uttering melodious
+oaths learned on the banks of the Vistula. To complete the welter,
+huckstering Orientals may be seen gliding about among the rows of
+houses, fulfilling prophecy and selling highly-coloured pictures of the
+Virgin Mary.
+
+ [8] In his book, _Edinburgh and its Neighbourhood_, Hugh Miller
+ tells the following story, on the authority of Robert
+ Chambers:--"Though legally only transferable with the works and
+ the minerals to which they were attached, cases occasionally
+ occurred in which miners were actually transferred _by sale_ from
+ one part of the country to another. During the early part of the
+ XIXth century, the son of an extensive coal-proprietor was
+ examining with a friend the pits of another proprietor, and
+ finding a collier whose speech resembled that of the colliers of
+ his own district, he inquired where he came from. 'Oh!' exclaimed
+ the man with surprise, 'd'ye no' ken me? _Do ye no' ken that your
+ faither sell't me for a powny?_'"
+
+
+HAND-LOOM WEAVING.
+
+The miner is still with us, but the weaver is almost obsolete in the
+Lowlands. You must search diligently for him. In Laurencekirk (a quaint
+village of one long street, in the shire of Forfar), and in similar
+out-of-the-way nooks, can still be faintly heard the music of the
+hand-loom. I went recently into a weaver's shop in Laurencekirk, and
+found three old men and one aged woman plying their shuttles. The oldest
+of the men was born four years after the battle of Waterloo, and there
+he sat, like a vision of the vanished years, striving to weave a few
+more yards of drugget before going to rejoin his contemporaries of the
+reign of George III. He told me there were once seven hundred hand-loom
+weavers in the place, and "_that young fellow_" said he, pointing to a
+wrinkled carle of eighty on the loom behind, "remembers it as well as I
+do."
+
+The industry of hand-loom weaving, which, a century ago, made every town
+in Scotland resonant with the din of shuttles, is thus almost a thing of
+the past, and the men who engaged in it have gone the way of their
+shoe-buckles, knee-breeches, and seventeen-hundred linen. Yet weavers
+were typical of all that was intellectual in Scottish life: every shop
+was in its way a miniature university, and every weaver a man who
+believed himself capable of giving Pitt a lesson or two on the
+management of the war, and Dundas a few hints on political economy. They
+had, indeed, far clearer views on politics than most of their
+legislators; from their ranks at a subsequent period the Chartist
+agitators--regrettably extreme as they were--were largely recruited; and
+it is not too much to say that the minds of many of our leading
+accredited reformers took the ply from these politicians of the loom.
+These men who, in a way so characteristic of Scotland, managed to make
+high-thinking subsist on homely fare, can never quite fade from memory
+while their tuneful poetical exponent, Tannahill, is read and enjoyed.
+In his works we have a page out of the past; and as we read his life and
+poems, we behold the Scotch village as it was a century ago; we see the
+old houses with their outside stairs, the antique boulder-paved cross,
+and the assemblies of aproned craftsmen discussing news much older than
+their ale.
+
+In Broadford, Skye, there is an old crofter who, in his early years,
+worked at the loom with Alexander Bain, late Professor in the University
+of Aberdeen. Half a century ago, John Stuart Mill said that Bain's
+erudition was encyclopaedic. From long residence in France, I know that
+few British philosophers are better known than Bain (whose name the
+French amusingly pronounce to rhyme with _vin_). This old crofter tells
+how he used to chaff the future professor for invariably having a book
+in front of him as the shuttle was plied. Bain, by slow and careful
+work, overcame prejudice, and secured a high position among the leaders
+of thought. Long ago, those who had to sit for the London degrees used
+to regard him as the greatest thinker in Europe. When he retired from
+the examinership at London, students lost some of their old veneration
+for him, and when he married a second time, a Miss Barbara Something,
+they even ventured to make a logical joke on him, and say that he had
+been fascinated by _Barbara's perfect figure_. I know that many pupils
+of our public schools, in love with football more than syntax, often
+regretted that Bain ever composed his _English Grammar_. No book (unless
+perhaps Morell's _Analysis_) has ever been more cordially execrated, and
+no book ever more richly deserved it, for though, like Aberdeen granite,
+it is stately and impressive, it is also ruthless, cold, and implacable.
+The draught may be wholesome and medicinal, but there is no honey on the
+rim of the cup.
+
+
+PROFESSOR BLACKIE IN THE HIGHLANDS.
+
+One hears a great deal of Professor Blackie in the North and West, and
+no wonder. He was a laughing, jocular, impressionable man, who hobnobbed
+with landlords and amiably slapped drivers and policemen on the back,
+throwing a Gaelic greeting at them as he did so. His faculty for writing
+poetry is seen in many a guidebook; Oban, Inverness, Pitlochry, and
+numberless other places, have had their beauties celebrated by this
+animated writer. He was a good friend to the Highlands--studied Gaelic
+most arduously, translated some of the finest of the Celtic bards,
+worked assiduously for the establishment of a Celtic Chair in Edinburgh,
+spoke many a good word for the crofters--in fact, did everything well
+except what he was paid to do, viz., teach Greek to his students. Grave
+D.D.'s could not understand or condone his cantrips. I have been assured
+that on one occasion, when Professor in the College of Aberdeen, he
+actually _stood on his head_ before a class of students. Mr. Barrie has
+given a very amusing and quite unexaggerated account of the Professor's
+normal demeanour in Edinburgh. Blackie's text books of _Greek Dialogues_
+are full of the most waggish remarks.
+
+The landlady of Kinlochewe Hotel gave some lessons in Gaelic to this
+convulsive old scholar. He would come in with a Celtic Bible below his
+arm, and, opening the sacred volume, read a chapter or two at a terrific
+rate of speed, and whistle triumphantly when he had finished. Highland
+folk did not care to converse with Blackie for three reasons: (1) he
+spoke too quickly for the leisurely and composed conversation of the
+Gael; (2) his pronunciation was bad, and people did not like to tell him
+so or correct him--(no one ever pronounced Gaelic to perfection who did
+not get the language with his mother's milk); (3) he was fond of using
+literary words, taken from the older bards, in his ordinary
+conversation; now, such words are obsolete in every-day talk and quite
+unfamiliar to crofters and cottars. In the Highlands, Blackie's English
+was better understood than his Gaelic.
+
+Blackie was undoubtedly a very able scholar--not, indeed, of that minute
+burrowing kind famous in Germany, but rather of the class that delights
+in the literature and vivid force of a language. He _spoke_ Latin and
+Greek, and held views on the teaching of these tongues that seemed more
+eccentric in his time than they do now. He declared that the linguistic
+achievement of which he was proudest was his mastery, such as it was, of
+the language of the Gael.
+
+It affords me pleasure in the retrospect to think of old Blackie at a
+distribution of prizes to school-children in a town of the West some
+years before his death. During the chairman's opening remarks the merry
+old man continued to whistle like a mavis. When the chairman sat down,
+Blackie embraced him and called him fellow-sinner. Some recitations
+followed from the children, one of which was Burns's "Address to a
+Haggis." When the young elocutionist came to the lines--
+
+ "Till a' their weel-swall'd kites belyve
+ Are bent like drums."
+
+Blackie rolled in his chair, held his sides and uproariously expressed
+his approbation. Then came the distribution of prizes, during which the
+Grand Old Boy made some pun or quaint remark on each of the children's
+names, as he presented the books: _"Miss Minnie Morrow_: never put off
+till to-morrow what you can do to-day; _James Glen_: be a real genuine
+_Glen_ all through life, not a _valet_ or flunkey; _William Lindsay_:
+Willie, my lad, imitate your ancestors at Otterburn: 'The Lindsays flew
+like fire about till a' the fray was done'; _Mary Black_: black but
+comely like the daughters of Jerusalem," and so on, in a bird-witted,
+half-daft way that the audience contemplated with benevolent wonder.
+
+
+NOTE ON INVERNESS SURNAMES, ETC.
+
+Let me mention here a very useful and interesting piece of philology
+that was done by Dr. Macbain in 1895. That eminent scholar, working on
+the _Inverness Directory_, analysed the names occurring there, explained
+them on sound principles of etymology, and gave percentages of Celtic
+and Saxon surnames in the Highland capital.
+
+Roughly speaking, the _Directory_ of 1894-1895 had 5,000 single entries,
+and _750 distinct surnames_. Of these surnames, only 110 are pure
+Gaelic. About 70 per cent. of the natives are, however, supposed to be
+of Highland descent.
+
+Dr. Macbain points out that certain Highland clans have names that are
+not Celtic: _Grant_ is from the French "grand"; _Fraser_ from the French
+"fraise," a strawberry (the Frasers have a strawberry in their
+coat-of-arms); _Chisholm_ is English and means "gravel-holm,"--the
+Anglo-Saxon _ceosol_ (pebble) is preserved in _Chesil Beach_ and
+_Chiselhurst_; _MacLeod_ signifies "son of Ljot"; and _ljotr_ is the
+Norse word for "ugly." _Campbell_ is probably Norman-French, though Dr.
+Macbain suggests _cam-beul_, Gaelic for "crooked mouth." In olden times
+an external conqueror would sometimes subdue a district, and call the
+natives after his noble self.
+
+The commonest names in the town are Fraser, Macdonald, Mackenzie,
+Macintosh, Ross, Cameron, and Munro. About 1,200 of the population have
+one or other of the first three names. The Frasers are an easy first,
+and form more than 9 per cent. of the population.
+
+_John_, _Alexander_, and _William_, are the commonest Christian names in
+Inverness. "It is remarkable and indeed regrettable," says Dr. Macbain,
+"that the Gaelic Christian names (Donald, Duncan, Kenneth, Murdoch, and
+Angus), are not higher in the list."
+
+The name of the first recorded inhabitant of Inverness (A.D. 1200) is
+Geoffrey Blount, a feudal warrior no doubt (French _blond_). In the
+thirteenth century we have the names _Noreys_, _Grant_, and _Hay_. In
+the fourteenth century the leading name is Pilch, derived from
+_peluche_, the French for "plush." In the fifteenth century, _Reid_,
+_Vaus_, and _Cuthbert_ are prominent citizens. _Vaus_ is said to mean
+"of the vales," _i.e._, _de Vallibus_; _Reid_ is Scotch for "red"; and
+_Cuthbert_ is pure Lowland. Evidently the leading men were aliens and
+interlopers.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+MUSIC, SPEECHES, AND LITERATURE.
+
+ Scotch a reading nation--Hardships of students in old
+ days--Homer in Scalloway--When education ends--Objects of
+ chapter--Music--M.P.'s--Rural depopulation--Its
+ causes--Emigration--Village halls--The moon--A lecture in
+ Islay--Mental and material wealth--Real greatness--A Highland
+ laird on literature--Varieties of chairmen--"Coming to the
+ point"--Moral obligation--Compliment to Paisley--Oratory at
+ Salen--Lecture in a dungeon--Surprises--A visit to the
+ Borders--Tarbolton--Scotch language--Choice books--The
+ essayists--A Banff theory--Goldsmith in Gaelic--_Biblia
+ abiblia_--Favourites for the road--Horace--Shakespeare's
+ Sonnets--Xenophon--French literature and journalism--Romance and
+ Augustanism--Victorian writers--Celt and Saxon.
+
+
+SCOTCH A READING NATION.
+
+I think it was Mr. Holyoake, the veteran lecturer, who, in a volume of
+reminiscences, declared he found the audiences in Scotland more
+intelligent than elsewhere. I cannot draw such comparisons, for I have
+not spoken often south of the Tweed; this I can say with assurance,
+however, that no one need hesitate to address an audience of Scotch
+peasants on a topic of literary interest. Predestination and such
+religious trifles may stir them to disrespectful heat, but pure
+literature invariably draws forth their cool and critical attention.
+Probably no nation has ever devoted so much attention to books, and, as
+the result of this characteristic, Scotland, considering its size and
+population, has produced far more than its proportion of eminent men. At
+the Reformation epoch, when the comforts of a Lowland cottage would be
+little in advance of those in a present-day Uist croft, writers like
+George Buchanan and his fellows of the _Deliciae Poetarum Scotorum_ made
+the excellence of Scotch scholarship known in every university of
+Europe. Buchanan was really a typical Caledonian man of
+genius--open-eyed, sagacious, patriotic, and cosmopolitan--and I can
+strongly recommend the occasional perusal of his Latin Psalms to all
+modern readers who wish to keep their feelings of reverence fresh and
+prevent their Latin quantities from getting amorphous.
+
+
+HARDSHIPS OF STUDENTS IN OLD DAYS.
+
+Those who think highly of the Scotch intellect, point with pride to the
+fact that for many a year the Prime Minister, the leader of the
+Opposition, and the Archbishop of Canterbury all hailed from the North.
+For my own part, I am chiefly interested in cases where eminence has
+resulted from the cultivation of literature on a little oatmeal. A few
+months ago, I had the pleasure of chatting, over a cup of tea, with the
+suave old gentleman who combines the postmastership of Dunvegan with the
+office of factor to the Macleod of Macleod. He held me spell-bound for
+an afternoon as he narrated in graphic language the hardships of the
+Skye students in former times. Many a Skye youth, I was told, bent on
+studying the humanities at Aberdeen, would mount his sheltie, traverse
+thereon the rough roads of his misty island as far as Kyleakin, cross
+the ferry there, ride on east through the ben-shadowed track of Glen
+Moriston, and finally bear down on the streets of the Granite City.
+There the o'erlaboured sheltie would be sold to pay the matriculation
+fees.
+
+
+HOMER IN SCALLOWAY.
+
+Many little out-of-the-way townships in insular Scotland contain
+scholars who would find themselves quite at home among a set of college
+dons. In the course of my travels in Shetland I came to the tiny village
+of Scalloway, and while standing on the pier gazing alternately at the
+confusion of sea and island, and at the grim old ruined castle where
+Earl Patrick, the wicked viceroy, once resided, I heard a conversation
+on geology being carried on between a tall and brawny shopman and some
+sailors. The latter, who were on board a ship, shouted their replies
+over a few yards of water to the shopman, who was on the pier near me. I
+was interested in the men's talk, which had to do with the subsidence of
+the land at this part of the coast. One of the sailors alleged that his
+grandmother's cabbage-patch was now covered by the water on which his
+boat was floating. The big shopman, turning to me, quoted the well-known
+passage of Tennyson (everyone can repeat it) of the sea flowing where
+the tree used to grow. "O Earth, what changes thou hast seen." This
+quotation led to a literary talk in which he remarked that of all poets
+he preferred Homer. "What translator do you like best?" I enquired.
+"Blackie's," he replied, "as being the most faithful to the original.
+But I rarely read a translation, '_I prefer Homer in his own Greek._'"
+This remark made by one whose fingers were glistening with
+herring-scales, came to me as a pleasant surprise. Later on in the day,
+I visited his house and saw his fine library and his splendid selection
+of classical books. Not many teachers of my acquaintance have a better
+array of the editions of Homer. He was not one of your ignorant
+collectors who know only the outside of what they buy. He had read over
+the whole forty-eight books of the text again and again, and could
+discuss knotty passages in most interesting and original fashion. His
+memory was evidently an excellent one. He informed me that most of his
+reading was done in the early morning, and that he found five hours'
+sleep quite adequate. I have a most agreeable recollection of my
+interview with this self-taught scholar. I believe there are many like
+him in not a few outlandish nooks of Scotland,--men who read books not
+for any material advantages that result from their studies, but simply
+and solely for the intense pleasure that comes from communion with the
+masterminds of bygone generations.
+
+Travel in remote districts of Britain reveals the fact that our
+provincials, whenever they have the chance, are a studious and
+thoughtful race. The isolation and monotony of life in many parts are
+bound to drive men to study and reflection if the means for these are at
+hand. Sisyphus himself had hardly less variety of occupation than some
+of our shepherds whose work on the hills involves long absences from
+social intercourse. To such men (whose life is suggestive of a repeating
+decimal) the access to an ell or two of good books often means mental
+salvation. Nothing is so melancholy as to find a countryman of brains
+who has never had the opportunity of cultivating his mind in such a way
+as to eliminate prejudice and widen the range of interest.
+
+
+WHEN EDUCATION ENDS.
+
+I am sometimes inclined to think that many of our rural clergymen,
+intent on shielding their congregations from pestilent doctrine and
+latitudinarism, are actuated by much the same spirit as the Sultan Omar
+when he set fire to the great Library at Alexandria. The Bible is no
+doubt the best of books, and it may be that the Confession of Faith
+comes next: but when these have got their share, there still remains the
+religious duty of educating the intellect by a wide perusal of the
+inspired apostles of secular literature. A Highland teacher, who
+presided at one of the lectures in the north, expressed himself very
+appositely thus on the subject of education: "The supposition that
+education is over when a boy leaves school, is far too prevalent," he
+said. "Education properly considered comes to an end when the last
+breath of life is drawn. Edward Young in his _Night Thoughts_ says:
+'Were man to live coeval with the sun, the patriarch-pupil would be
+learning still.' Young was undoubtedly right: some of the most forceful
+and penetrating lessons of life are given to us long after we have cast
+our text-books into some dusty corner, never to be opened more. In our
+early days, we cannot choose our own teachers, and there is often a good
+deal of force and constraint. The delightful thing about our education
+in mature life is that we have the selection of our own masters. There
+is no compulsion whatever. I am convinced that for everyone of us there
+is some one author whose works will act as medicine for the mind and be
+an unfailing tonic in all conditions of the soul."
+
+
+OBJECT OF CHAPTER.
+
+I intend to devote this chapter to a description of a few of the
+speeches delivered by some of the speakers at such literary evenings in
+various parts of the country. After I had said my say, I sometimes
+invited an expression of opinion. Almost invariably someone responded to
+the invitation, with the object of asking a question, expressing
+dissent, or intimating concurrence. I do not recollect a single meeting
+out of hundreds that could be called monotonous. It did not in the
+slightest detract from the interest of a meeting that many of the
+remarks erred on the score of irrelevancy. The attention never flagged
+from first to last, and it was no uncommon thing for the proceedings to
+last for over three hours. In giving typical speeches delivered by
+crofters, lairds, tradesmen, and clergymen, I mean to indicate to the
+reader _the subjects that are of interest to our provincial population,
+their attitude to questions of literature and social life, and
+incidentally the great amount of humour that still exists in the world_.
+
+
+MUSIC.
+
+The free and unconventional character of these meetings was perhaps seen
+best of all in the musical part of the proceedings, which was always
+arranged locally. Usually the songs were well-known Highland or Lowland
+airs, in many cases so exquisitely rendered that it was quite evident
+there had been much previous preparation. When my opinion was asked
+beforehand, I invariably recommended national melodies. It was always a
+treat to get a Gaelic song or two well rendered. At Acharacle (a little
+place at the far end of Lochshiel) Mr. Rudd's piper gave some fine
+Highland tunes, which evoked great enthusiasm. Personally I prefer the
+pipes to every other instrument, for this reason, that even if I don't
+understand all the music, I can appreciate the scenic effects. The
+Acharacle piper was a fine specimen of the Celt, and his get-up was
+glorious:
+
+ "He screwed his pipes and gart them skirl
+ Till roof and rafters a' did dirl."
+
+Sometimes the phonograph formed part of the musical programme. I do not
+approve of this demoralising instrument except to a very limited extent.
+The cylinders usually gyrate with records of fatuous music-hall songs,
+unedifying coster-airs and farcical speeches. The _vox humana_
+interpreting national melodies is infinitely better. What vigour and
+illustrative expression the islanders can throw into their songs! I have
+but to shut my eyes to see the policeman of Staffin interpreting "The
+Bonnie House o' Airlie." When his big, manly voice threw out the
+terrible threat, "_I'll no' leave a staunin' stane in Airlie_," his eyes
+shot fire, his teeth gleamed, and his ponderous fist came thundering
+down on the table in front of him.
+
+I still remember with infinite pleasure the strains of Mr. Cameron's
+Poolewe Choir, heard in Gairloch school-house. That energetic and
+complaisant conductor brought his clear-throated minstrels over to the
+meeting in a brake. It was a luxury to see them with their white robes
+and tartan sashes, while in front of them stood their genial leader clad
+in kilts. The Gaelic _Mod_, which is now a regular institution in the
+land, is bound to do splendid service towards keeping alive the fine old
+music of the North. The Poolewe Choir, I am happy to say, won much
+distinction at the _Mods_ of both Inverness and Greenock. _There is
+great need for choirs, and great need, also, for innocent songs of a
+secular character._ Before I spoke to the people of Eigg, I requested
+the teacher to arrange, if possible, for a musical programme. The reply
+staggered me: "No man, woman, or child in this island would for a moment
+even dream of singing a worldly song. We are all converted here, except
+a few benighted Catholics. The vain, fleeting joys of this world are as
+dross to us. The missionary has a modulator, and he trains the young men
+and women in the sol-fa so that they may sing Sankey's hymns in all the
+parts." I was dreadfully floored by this answer, and could only mutter
+mechanically, "_Dross_," "_Missionary_,'" "_Modulator_," in a vain
+effort to seize the situation. Conversion I understood and approved of,
+but where, in the wee island of Eigg, were the vain, fleeting joys?
+There is no public-house in the place, and little temptation of any
+kind. The most disquieting item of all was the modulator: I have not
+seen one for a long time, and am not sorry, for there is nothing which
+so spoils the appearance of a wall nor anything so dismal as practising
+scales. A compromise was come to, and it was arranged that some Gaelic
+readings, containing a dash of religion, should take the place of songs,
+and give some variety to the evening's proceedings.
+
+At some of the meetings there was perhaps an _excess of realism_.
+Bottom, in "A Midsummer Night's Dream," wishing to avoid excitement and
+fear among the ladies when he is acting the part of Pyramus, says:
+"Write me a prologue; and let the prologue seem to say, we will do no
+harm with our swords, and that Pyramus is not killed indeed; and for the
+more better assurance tell them that I, Pyramus, am not Pyramus, but
+Bottom the weaver: this will put them out of fear." I thought of
+Bottom's extreme delicacy when I was present at a meeting in Tomatin not
+long ago. An outstanding feature of the evening's proceedings was the
+vividly dramatic rendering of the song, "Macpherson swore a feud," by
+the local postman. The latter, a big, burly man, was extremely
+formidable in his Highland attire. When he came to the verse dealing
+with the untimely decease of Macpherson, he whipped the dagger out of
+its sheath, flourished it as in act to kill, and terrified some of the
+lady visitors by his vivid suiting of the action to the word. They were
+as much astonished at the flash of the _skian dhu_ as the Commons were
+when Burke threw a dagger on the floor of the House.
+
+A musical treat is sometimes got in the most unexpected places. I was
+particularly struck with a children's glee-party in Jura (a rough island
+known chiefly for its sterile Paps). The bairns admirably rendered Ben
+Jonson's delightful ditty, "Drink to me only with thine eyes," and the
+Shakespearian song, "Where the bee sucks, there suck I." In such islands
+a musical teacher is a valuable asset. Let me add that all the libraries
+have been gratuitously supplied with fine collections of Scottish music.
+
+At Acha, in the island of Coll, four sturdy farm-maidens, ruddy with
+health and robed in white, gave various English and Gaelic airs in
+admirable style. A divinity student sang a _coster song_ (think of this
+in an island of craggy shores, gulls, wild-swans, and curlews!), and on
+being encored, he gave a "Cradle Lullaby," and by gently swaying a chair
+backwards and forwards on the platform, he strove to illustrate the
+movements of childhood's earliest receptacle.
+
+A military gentleman--an ex-major--in proposing a vote of thanks, one
+evening, to the singers, said he had sung a song but once in his life,
+the occasion being his admission to the Royal Engineers, thirty years
+before. It was a standing law in that body that every novice should sing
+a song or drink a mixture consisting of whisky, ink, and cayenne pepper.
+He chose the former alternative, and at the end of the first verse the
+Royal Engineers had all left the room in a demoralised condition!
+
+
+M.P.'s.
+
+At one of the meetings in Argyleshire, I had the joy of speaking under
+the chairmanship of the glib and able Mr. Ainsworth, M.P. for that
+county. Among the votes of thanks was one for the chairman: it made a
+profound impression upon me, as much by its form as by its substance: "I
+hope, Mr. Ainsworth, that you will take better care of your health in
+future (hear, hear). No, no, you are not taking care of your health at
+all (laughter). We all expect you to be Prime Minister, and that is the
+reason we would like you not to roam about so much and undermine your
+constitution (cheers). You are always travelling. You are like the
+Wandering Jew. No! you are like a little bird on a bough. To-day, we see
+you on a tree near the door; to-morrow, we see you on a tree a hundred
+miles away" (great cheering). Mr. Ainsworth kindly promised that, in
+view of his destiny, he would cease to range around the country so
+indiscriminately.
+
+Unfortunately, I have never met Mr. Galloway Weir, but I have heard much
+of the zeal of himself and his agents. The following story hinges on the
+fact that _Weir_ and _wire_ have the same pronunciation in Lewis. An old
+illiterate crofter came to record his vote by word of mouth, and told
+the polling sheriff: "I will vote for the right man, yes, yes, it's the
+right man I will be voting for this time." "That may be," said the
+sheriff, "but unless you will tell me his name, you can't vote." "Well,
+if you must know," said the old man, handing the sheriff a
+stocking-wire, "_I will be voting for the man that has the same name as
+that_."
+
+
+RURAL DEPOPULATION.
+
+The mention of that eminent politician brings to my mind the frequent
+references made at these meetings to the painful subject of rural
+depopulation. Everyone regrets the exodus of young men from the country
+to the town, a practice which depletes the rural villages and deprives
+the land of the strong arms that should find employment in working it.
+The ministers are not without hope that the rush city-wards may be
+checked by improving the conditions of country life, rendering it more
+attractive to the young, and enlisting the aid of Government in the
+scheme of small-holdings. Motives of health, morality, and patriotism,
+are all concerned in the fostering of a hardy peasantry. Everything that
+makes country life attractive to young men must operate to make them
+regret to quit it. I wish I could reproduce textually all the strong and
+astounding speeches I have heard in the Highlands on this subject of
+depopulation.
+
+"We often hear," said a farmer, "that it's healthy men and women that
+make up the true wealth of a country, and if that is true, Scotland, for
+all its increase of riches, is every year growing poorer. How can the
+people left in the glens continue to propagate a hardy race, if all the
+young healthy bloods leave for the cities and settle there? I am afraid
+that both brain and brawn will continue to get feebler among us, unless
+the Government give some kind of inducement for the peopling of the land
+with bien, self-respecting men _that have a bit land of their own_. It's
+impossible to get farm-hands round Tayside nowadays, and it's not to be
+wondered at. Suppose a young man stays here, what prospect has he, what
+incentive has he to work? At the age of seventeen he has earned the
+highest wage he will ever earn. Thereafter his life is a slow,
+monotonous serfdom; he has no hope whatever of rising, he is doomed to
+live from hand to mouth all the years of his existence. But put before
+that young man the hope that he can _become the owner_ of a morsel of
+land, however small, and you put life and pride into him. He will work
+in that case with intelligent purpose, knowing that every penny he saves
+is to be employed in making him a landed proprietor, and every detail of
+experience he gains will tell in the future for his direct benefit. Our
+young fellows don't really want to leave the land and go to die
+prematurely (as a great many of them do) in the slums of Glasgow and
+Edinburgh. They go to the cities because there is at least _a chance_ of
+bettering their lot there, a chance which is entirely lacking at home.
+Some of them go away to the colonies and thrive as farmers there. I
+rejoice to hear of such success; but I rejoice with trembling when I
+think how much of Britain's best manhood has to leave her shores to till
+Transatlantic fields, while so much land at home remains unoccupied. By
+and by, if you want to see a good specimen of the Highlander, you will
+have to go to Canada. Sooner or later, and the sooner the better, the
+vigorous action of Government will be demanded to remedy the present
+iniquities of land-tenure, and to put a stop to the compulsory
+degradation of those who till the soil."
+
+
+ITS CAUSES.
+
+The present seems to be an opportune time for directing public attention
+to some remarkable changes that are taking place in the population of
+the rural districts of Scotland. A great deal of speaking and writing
+has been expended of late years in lamenting the depopulation of the
+country. Young fellows do not like the monotony of village and farm
+life: they prefer the stir and excitement of the cities. Such things are
+not to be wondered at. Town life has always had an attraction for those
+whose energy requires a wide scene of action. Energy and ambition go
+together, and it is the possessor of such qualities that makes the
+successful city man. The country does not give scope enough for their
+adequate display.
+
+The railway train and the inventions of modern times are both answerable
+for a certain amount of depopulation. I believe the condition of
+farm-hands has been markedly improved of late years. They have now a
+shorter day, higher wages, better food, and superior house
+accommodation. Mechanical appliances have made farm-work lighter and
+more agreeable. The drudgery of the threshing flail is now unknown; the
+hook and the scythe have given way to the reaping-machine: in every way
+hand labour has been lightened. But it is precisely this machinery that
+lessens the need for large numbers of agricultural labourers. It is also
+notorious that shoemakers, tailors, and blacksmiths, are not so much
+required in the country as they used to be. Ready-made shoes and clothes
+are brought by rail from the city, and local tradesmen are reduced in
+numbers.
+
+
+EMIGRATION.
+
+There seems to be in our day a competition among the Governments of the
+New World, which of them can lure away the greatest number of our
+peasantry. The latest candidate for our rural youth is the State of
+Virginia, the legislature of which has voted a large sum of money to
+pay the expenses of two delegates, who are at work in the East of
+Scotland, hunting for likely emigrants. These Virginian delegates--Mr.
+Koiner and Col. Talliafer--paid the passage-money of over a hundred
+stalwart lads from Lochtayside in the autumn of 1906.
+
+No one who has the opportunity of travelling through Scotland can fail
+to be struck by the absolute frenzy for emigration that exists
+everywhere. There is a constant stream of emigrants from all our
+agricultural counties to the wide plains of Canada. That great colony is
+being "boomed" in a most energetic way. In Sutherlandshire, I saw a
+large van, with placards and specimens of Canadian produce, being driven
+through Strath Halladale, to tempt the crofters over the deep. I have
+also, at the railway stations in the North, beheld heart-rending scenes
+of parting as the young fellows said good-bye to their parents and
+friends:
+
+ "Who could guess
+ If ever more should meet these mutual eyes."[9]
+
+ [9] Such emigration has, of course, nothing to do with the
+ systematic work instituted by Mr. William Quarrier of Bridge of
+ Weir. That devout philanthropist occupied himself with the waifs
+ and strays of Glasgow, taught them trades, and sent large numbers
+ of them to the colonies to learn farming. One Saturday, in 1907,
+ I saw a hundred and twenty of these lads, who were on Bridge of
+ Weir platform waiting for the train. The scene was pathetic in
+ the extreme--enough to melt a heart of nether millstone. Many of
+ the lads were in tears as they answered the roll-call for the
+ last time. In the afternoon they (and over two thousand
+ emigrants) left the Clyde, amid sobs, cheers, and the waving of
+ multitudinous handkerchiefs. These boys go, in the first
+ instance, to Brockville, in the province of Ontario, whence they
+ are distributed out among the Canadian farmers.
+
+
+VILLAGE HALLS.
+
+In most of the places I have visited, the school-house is the only
+available hall for public meetings. Now, a school-room, with its small,
+cramped seats, its lack of platform, and its defective ventilation, is
+not well adapted for large gatherings. No man likes to speak _up to the
+waist in audience_, under a low roof, and in stifling air. If less money
+were spent on needless church-building, every district in the Highlands
+might have its hall for purposes of recreation, reading, and lecturing.
+As it is, the churches should everywhere be used far more than they are
+for secular gatherings of an elevating kind. Religion suffers greatly
+from the closing of churches to concerts and lectures.
+
+The kindness of local lairds is nowhere more pleasantly shown than in
+the giving of funds towards the creation of village halls and recreation
+rooms. The little village of Alness has a splendid Working Men's Club,
+furnished with everything requisite for pleasure and
+profit--smoking-room, billiard-room, and reading-room. This Club owes
+its existence to the generosity of Mr. Perrins--known everywhere for the
+excellence of his famous condiment--who has an estate in the vicinity.
+Kiltarlity and Beauly have, for similar instances of discreet bounty,
+permanent reason for blessing the name of Mr. Phipps. Other instances
+that occur to me are the spacious Dunbar Hall in Auldearn, due to the
+kindness of the family of which the genial Sir Frederick Dunbar, Bart.,
+is the present representative, and the Astley Hall in Arisaig, named
+after the family so long associated with that charming West Highland
+village.
+
+It must not be supposed that the natives do not thankfully welcome such
+work on their behalf. Many of the townships, it is true, have had
+libraries and halls for many a year, and have established these entirely
+on their own initiative; but outside help and enterprise stimulate local
+effort in a way often impossible otherwise, as the natives themselves
+admit. At Nethy Bridge, a fine hall, with club-room, has been recently
+erected, largely owing to the enthusiasm of a London lady resident in
+the vicinity. She was distressed to see the young fellows of the place
+loafing aimlessly about at night, and proceeded to organise some
+rational amusement for them. Her philanthropy has been greatly
+appreciated. At Kilmartin, the jubilee of Queen Victoria was signalized
+by the erection of the Poltalloch Victoria Hall--an enterprise in which
+laird and crofter alike willingly co-operated. It is in this hall that
+the Library is established. Mr. Dixon, the erudite historian of
+Gairloch, set aside the profits of his book to help in furnishing the
+reading-room at Poolewe, in Wester Ross.
+
+When a rural community has a library and a place to meet in, a literary
+society is, as a rule, soon formed. Such a society, founded for an
+elevating and educational purpose, forms a common meeting-ground for all
+sects, schisms, and parties. I am aware that in most towns of any size
+there are such societies in connection with the special churches. In the
+Highlands it is better to eliminate the denominational element, for the
+very good reason that, the population being small, no one of the too
+numerous churches would furnish a representative enough roll of
+members. I was charmed to find that the little town of Portree, of which
+the population is not much more than eight hundred, has a fine literary
+society, established on the broad and rational lines I have indicated.
+As might be expected from the intellectual advancement and strong
+literary bent of the inhabitants, the lectures given and the subjects
+discussed at the meetings of the Portree society are of a more erudite
+nature than anywhere else in the West Highlands. Most of the Portree
+clergymen and professional men are on the list of members.
+
+
+THE MOON.
+
+Very few city people pay much attention to the moon: in the country that
+luminary has to be constantly deferred to when arrangements are being
+made for social meetings, dances, or lectures. When many of the audience
+have to come six, or even ten miles by land or water, light is needed,
+and light from above is best. It increases a lecturer's pride to be told
+that the plashing of oars over there on the argent face of the waters is
+an indication that some of his audience are coming from the other side
+of the loch. At the conclusion of many of the lectures, I have seen half
+a dozen traps, boats, and bicycles speeding away merrily in different
+directions. But for the bright moon, the audience would have been
+limited to the immediate neighbourhood of the place of meeting.
+
+It has often happened that my hotel was as much as seven miles from the
+lecture hall. As closed carriages are rare in certain districts, and as
+it frequently rains--when it is not snowing--in the West and North of
+Scotland, I had many good opportunities for gauging my powers of
+endurance. The road from Killin to Ardeonaig is a fair example of a
+Highland highway:--
+
+ "Rough, hilly roads, that stain the spokes with mire;
+ Thick folds of ebon night on loch and law;
+ The moan of breezes wailing through the shaw
+ Like the weird plaints of an AEolian lyre:
+ And intermittently through the clouds, the fire
+ Of lightning streaks the night with glitter and awe,
+ And lapses swiftly in the dismal maw
+ Of darkness, 'mid the din of thunder dire.
+ But to relieve the sad night's sullenness,
+ And clear the heavens for the timid moon,
+ The straight-descending rain riots like hail
+ For a fierce hour, in prodigal excess;
+ Anon the clouds unmuffle, and the pale,
+ Thin crescent of Diana gilds night's noon."
+
+The place of meeting at Ardeonaig was on the shores of Loch Tay, and the
+main road from Killin is high up and does not go near the water at this
+point. After alighting from the machine, I had to descend to the
+loch-side by a steep, miry, and circuitous road through a wood. As the
+"thin crescent of Diana," alluded to above, was not adequate to light my
+footsteps here, I struck some futile vestas, which the dripping leaves
+at once extinguished. Two elders, swinging lanterns and calling me by
+name, by and by divided the night in my vicinity. Their appearance was
+welcome, for the torrential rain had made the track one continuous
+slippery quagmire. The hospitality of the Ardeonaig minister speedily
+banished all recollection of the "sad night's sullenness."[10]
+
+A more trying, because a longer, drive is that from Kilmun to Strachur,
+by way of Loch Eck. In the leafy month of June, nothing could be finer;
+but in a winter blizzard, one's appreciation of the glory of nature is
+somewhat less than rapturous. I mention the Strachur meeting because it
+was graced by the presence of a large contingent of local volunteers in
+civilian attire. The War Office ought to know that the inclement weather
+prevented these warriors appearing in their uniform.
+
+ [10] It is not often possible, in the _islands_, to get anything
+ but a trap or open coach. In Lochranza, on a day of dreary,
+ disheartening rain, I found on enquiry that there was no covered
+ vehicle to be had except the _hearse_.
+
+
+A LECTURE IN ISLAY.
+
+The westerly leg of Islay contains one or two places that have public
+libraries sent from Paisley: Portnahaven and Port Charlotte on the sea,
+and Gruinart inland and more to the north. It is a weird experience to
+drive along the shore road from Bridgend on a night of pitiless rain,
+and see the heavy mists broken every now and then by the far-reaching
+flash of the Portnahaven lighthouse. Equally weird is it to lecture in a
+school with no lamps (as happened at Port Charlotte). At eight o'clock I
+could see the faces of the audience well enough, but by and by the room
+became quite dark, and I seemed to be addressing an audience of silent
+and attentive ghosts. After I had finished, a Phantom arose in the far
+corner of the room and proposed a vote of thanks; and thereafter a Voice
+somewhere pronounced the benediction. Then there was a movement of feet,
+and the shadowy spectres trooped out into the night. The foolish virgins
+had no oil in their lamps; in Port Charlotte, there was neither oil
+_nor_ lamps.[11]
+
+ [11] Islay is yearly becoming better known. It is an undulating
+ island, covered with rich meadow-land, the home of horses, sheep,
+ and cattle. There should not be a hungry man within its
+ circumference. Under the old lairds--the Campbells--there were
+ 14,000 inhabitants, now there are 6000.
+
+
+SOME SPEECHES.
+
+
+MENTAL AND MATERIAL WEALTH.
+
+I never heard the difference between mental and material wealth more
+forcibly expressed than by an old Perthshire shoemaker. "Supposing,"
+said he, "that I had fifty pounds in my pocket at the present moment.
+What a wild supposition, but good enough for an illustration! What
+inference would you draw from me having that sum of money? This, namely,
+that no other person in the universe has the same fifty pounds. The same
+pair of boots cannot be worn by two persons at the same time. The same
+guinea cannot be twice spent by the same man. It is different with
+spiritual things, and with works of art. Scores of people can
+simultaneously enjoy a great painting or a fine piece of music: _my_
+enjoyment does not interfere with _yours_, indeed, it is more than
+likely that my enjoyment will be greatly increased from knowing that
+other people are enjoying it as I am. Then again, you can't eat the same
+loaf of bread twice: but you can return a hundred times to the same
+song, poem, or picture, and like them better the hundredth time than the
+first. A pathetic old tune does not lose anything in being sung by
+generation after generation. It is always as good as new. Like the
+widow's cruise of oil, it can be used without being consumed. These
+facts show that works of art--good books, good poems, good music--are,
+in a certain sense, immortal and divine. A hundred years ago, our
+ancestors sang 'Bonnie Doon'; we, to-day, sing it with undiminished
+fervour; a hundred years after this, the song will be fresh. Aye, and a
+humorous American writer thinks some of us will hanker for it in heaven:
+
+ 'Perhaps in that refulgent sphere
+ That knows not sun or moon,
+ An earth-born saint would long to hear
+ One verse of Bonnie Doon.'"
+
+
+REAL GREATNESS.
+
+The Rev. Chairman of this meeting emphasised the shoemaker's remarks in
+the following admirable words: "I often wonder what is really the
+greatest thing ever done by a citizen of this country of ours, by a man
+of English speech. If we agree with our worthy shoemaker and his way of
+thinking, we shall not look at the big accumulation of guineas as an
+indication of greatness. Certain commercial men (who ought to know
+better) seem to think God has sent us into this lovely world for the
+sole purpose of piling up as much money as possible, and then, by death,
+leaving it to others to spend. _That_ can hardly be considered our
+reasonable service. Life is not so low-pitched as that. The best work of
+man does not admit of being put into an equation with cash. The greatest
+feat, to my mind, an Englishman ever performed was the writing of
+_Paradise Lost_. How much did John Milton get in money for his
+incomparable epic during his lifetime? _Five Pounds_: and if he had got
+five million pounds, the recompense would have been absolutely
+inadequate. History, however, has indemnified Milton for the neglect and
+poverty he endured. He has shot up into stature while those of his
+contemporaries who bulked largest in the eyes of the world have dwindled
+and shrunk into insignificance in comparison with him. The witty,
+dissolute king, Charles II., is now seen to be a wretched pigmy: Milton,
+who died in blindness and political disgrace, is the real king of that
+era, overtopping all the rulers, cabals, and intriguers. So, too, in
+Scotland, Burns is the giant of _his_ period. During Burns's life, the
+Earl of Dundas was to all intents and purposes king of the country. He
+could say to whomsoever he pleased, '_Friend, come up higher; be you a
+Sheriff, or Lord-Lieutenant, or Justice of the Peace_.' Dundas is pretty
+well forgotten by this time: probably he will by and by be remembered
+solely by Burns's description of him: _That slee, auld-farrant chiel
+Dundas._ Kings and men of temporary renown do well to keep on good terms
+with the men of letters."
+
+It is always a great treat to hear a working-man who has the power of
+utterance deliver a speech in a straightforward and unrhetorical way.
+There is _always_ a pith and vigour about such deliverances quite
+unattainable in a formal harangue. The magnates of the little Fife
+villages are specially notorious for their gift of the gab: when Bailie
+M'Scales or Provost Cleaver gets up to speak, no one has any inclination
+to fall asleep.
+
+
+A HIGHLAND LAIRD ON LITERATURE.
+
+Max O'Rell has told us that his chairmen sometimes took advantage of
+their position to push their claims for the Town Council. I have not had
+the time at my disposal curtailed by any such municipal oratory, though,
+occasionally, my remarks on literature have seemed to the chairmen to
+stand in need of supplementing. One gentleman, in proposing a vote of
+thanks, pulled a copy of Bacon out of his pocket and read the whole of
+the famous essay on _Studies_. Another managed to bring in a lengthy
+dissertation on radium! The following speech, delivered by a Highland
+laird of a poetical turn, is noteworthy: "I am very fond of poetry," he
+said, "and yet I turn with a very languid interest to the writings of
+modern poets like Watson and Davidson. The verses of these gifted
+singers are for others, not for me. The truth is, I don't want any more
+lyrics and such like sugar pellets. My brain is already stocked with a
+plenteous supply on which I browse in weal and woe, which I almost think
+I personally composed, and to which I have attached a great many
+emotions and extraneous incidents known to nobody but myself. My old
+poetic favourites have been lying in various corners of my brain for
+forty or fifty years; I know every turn, rhyme and rhythm of them; and
+as they have served my need and alleviated my sorrow so long, I do not
+intend to give them many fellow-lodgers more. I do not know at what
+particular time literary nausea sets in, but Solomon had it when he said
+that of the making of books there was no end. No doubt his father David
+had primed him well in boyhood in the Psalms, and Solomon, feeling (like
+many others since) that the paternal psaltery met all his need of
+literary stimulus, would turn wearily from the heaps of presentation
+copies of new verse sent by the rising poets of Judaea for their
+sovereign's inspection. When a new book came out, Charles Lamb re-read
+an old one,--an excellent practice and one which has the additional
+recommendation of economy. It is not an unpleasant thing to find
+yourself falling back on old favourites and losing interest in the
+current hour. I knew a happy old gentleman whose reading was confined to
+Walter Scott. Every evening the lamp was lighted in the trim snuggery,
+and the appropriate _Waverley_ taken down from the shelf. For such a man
+to begin a new novel would have been as irksome as travelling in a
+foreign land."
+
+I am bound to say that I have great sympathy with the sentiments I have
+quoted from the speech of this kilted critic. If it were possible to
+retain the elasticity and adjustableness of the mind till the end of
+life, new authors would perhaps fix our attention as much as the old.
+But only a limited number of articulate-speaking men, such as the
+omnivorous Professor Saintsbury of Edinburgh, preserve their appetite
+tireless and intact. The Professor, like a literary Livingstone, can
+grapple with the most arid and dusty libraries, and is the envy of all
+scholars; but, alas! the majority of us have to take something less than
+the whole of knowledge for our province.
+
+It must not be supposed that all the remarks made at these meetings were
+like those I have quoted. An airy irrelevancy was quite as common as the
+serious note.
+
+
+VARIETIES OF CHAIRMEN.
+
+I have had experience of hundreds of chairmen, and admired most of them.
+It is rather a painful thing to have one who is utterly unversed in
+speaking. I remember being introduced in the ante-room to the chairman
+of the evening, and, big bucolic giant as he was, he seemed fearfully
+perturbed. His hand trembled, his lips were ashy-gray, and his laugh was
+a nervous grin. "I am not much used to this sort of thing," said he,
+with a poor attempt at mirth and a furtive movement of his hand to his
+waistcoat pocket, where he had his introductory speech. "All you have to
+do is to introduce me," I hinted; "you needn't say much." On the
+platform he shook so much that the whole structure quivered. He rose,
+and was received with loud applause. Happily he did not read his speech,
+but simply pointed to me and said, "G-g-go on." He sank in his chair,
+while runnels of sweat coursed down his cheeks. I admired that chairman
+more than one in Caithness, who, after angling for the honour of taking
+the chair, grew so terrified towards the hour of meeting, that he went
+to bed and sent word he couldn't be present owing to flying pains in his
+leg! In country districts, reluctance to take the chair arises from a
+man's fear of making himself ridiculous; once he cuts a poor figure in
+public, discredit is for ever attached to his name.
+
+Highlanders as a rule make excellent chairmen. The superior gifts of the
+Celtic mind, in imagination and wealth of florid expression, nowhere
+show themselves to better purpose than when compliments have to be paid.
+Then again, the kilt is very impressive on a brawny chairman's legs: it
+commands attention and respect at once. I have little knowledge of
+colloquial Gaelic, though I have studied the grammar, and have some
+skill in reading. A little Gaelic goes a long way in stirring the soul
+of a Highland audience. Often I have heard a kilted chairman quitting
+his English for a little and giving the audience a mellifluous Ossianic
+sentence or two. The effect was electric: eyes gleamed, breath came
+quick and fast, the souls of the hearers seemed to have tasted a tonic.
+Spoken Gaelic is akin to the elements: it has a mystic affinity with the
+winds that sough around the flanks of the mountains and along the
+surface of the lonely lochs. There is perhaps not much business
+precision about it, but for preaching, praying, and poetry, it is a
+splendid medium.
+
+In Arran, a jovial chairman thus introduced me: "Before I left home, I
+thought of a great many nice things to say as a preface to the remarks
+of our friend from Paisley. (Here he coughed violently.) Unfortunately,
+I am unable to bestow these tit-bits on the audience owing to a
+_kittlin'_ in my throat. Instead of saying what I meant to say, I think
+I had better tell you a story. A minister one Sunday had occasion to be
+highly displeased with the precentor, who broke down twice in quite a
+simple psalm-tune. 'Excuse me, minister,' said the precentor, 'but I've
+got a kittlin' in my throat this morning.' '_Kittlin'!_' hissed the holy
+man in scornful wrath: '_it's mair like a big tom-cat_.' Ladies and
+gentlemen, after these few and decidedly imperfect remarks, I resume my
+seat, merely expressing the hope that our friend will feel himself as
+much at home here as the deil did in the Court of Session."
+
+Another chairman in an adjoining island, while engaged in tremulously
+reading his introductory speech, came to a sudden stop. An irreverent
+youth shouted, "_Is that a blot?_" After the laughter provoked by this
+query had subsided, the chairman said: "I feel to-night like a square
+pin in a round hole, or rather, like the Irishman who, when asked if he
+was dead, replied, '_No, I'm not dead, I'm only spacheless._'" Having
+said these words with a weird attempt at mirth, the chairman sat down
+too hurriedly, and struck his head so violently against the back of his
+chair, that the noise of the impact was heard in every part of the hall.
+
+I may hint to anyone who lectures or preaches in the Highlands, not to
+adopt a patronising attitude or make it appear that he is talking down
+to the audience. Such a feature would be at once detected and deeply
+resented. A well-known Professor lectured to a Bute audience on
+Electricity, and out of ignorance, spoke in a very elementary way to the
+audience, defining the simplest terms, and interspersing a great many
+"_you know's_" and "_you see's_." The chairman, in proposing a vote of
+thanks, slyly remarked: "We have listened to-night to a very good
+discourse, and I'm only sorry there are so few young people here. Next
+time the Professor comes to speak to us, I hope to see all the
+school-children in the hall, for the lecture to-night was admirably
+adapted to their capacity."
+
+
+COMING TO THE POINT.
+
+A very loquacious lawyer proposed a vote of thanks to the chairman in
+the following fashion: "Ladies and gentlemen," he said, "it is often a
+very difficult thing to come to the point. When I was at College, I
+consented once to write an essay on 'The Progress of America,' the
+subject being one of my own choosing. I wrote twenty-five pages of
+preliminary matter, and at the end of my writing, I found that Columbus
+was not landed. As my essay was to bring my hearers up-to-date on
+American progress, I became nettled at my failure to _get Columbus
+ashore_ and went round canvassing among my friends to secure a
+substitute. No one would relieve me, so I was forced to slaughter an
+aunt. I was wired for, by arrangement, on the day before the meeting,
+and responded with great alacrity, knowing that there would be no
+funeral. Without wasting more words let me on _this_ occasion come to
+the point, and ask you to accord to our worthy chairman a very hearty
+vote of thanks for the brilliant way in which he has kept us all in
+order this evening."
+
+
+MORAL OBLIGATION.
+
+A minister of a western parish thought it his duty, in the course of his
+introductory speech, to make some jovial remarks on the subject of
+conscience and moral obligation. "A student of my acquaintance," said
+he, "went to Arrochar on Loch Long by excursion steamer. At mid-day,
+being thirsty, he _drifted thoughtlessly_ into the hotel and asked for a
+cup of tea. With this beverage he washed over some dry biscuits he had
+brought with him from home. Imagine his surprise on being told that the
+cup of tea would cost him two shillings. Bang went not one sixpence but
+four! He looked at the maid and his breath came quick and fast; but he
+counted out the money nevertheless. Having occasion to visit the
+bathroom to cool his throbbing brow, he perceived a razor on a little
+shelf near the mirror there. At once he pocketed this razor and made
+off, whistling _Scots Wha Hae_. He had recouped himself for the
+overcharge on the cup of tea. Strange to say, every time he shaved with
+the stolen razor he feared some impending calamity. He knew enough Greek
+to be aware that Ajax committed suicide with the very sword that hero
+got from the enemy. Whenever the student disfigured his chin and
+reddened the lather with a new-made gash, he felt in his inmost soul
+that a Nemesis was being wrought out. _By this simple tale, my friends,
+one may see the sovereign power of conscience, which, though dormant for
+a time, invariably asserts itself and flogs the culprit._"
+
+
+COMPLIMENT TO PAISLEY.
+
+The following remarks made by a speaker at one of the meetings are worth
+citing: "I do not wish our Paisley friend," he said, "to go back to the
+banks of the Cart under the impression that we are not a very literary
+people up here in Ross-shire. On the contrary, we are clean gone on
+literature. Just look at our syllabus! One night we have a discussion on
+Shakespeare. Eh? What do you think of that? Shakespeare no less! Next
+night we deal with _an equally great poet--Tannahill_." (No doubt the
+speaker meant to compliment Paisley in thus comparing the author of
+_Lear_ and _Hamlet_ with the poet-laureate of the loom.) I have heard
+Milton's _Paradise Lost_ and Pollok's _Course of Time_ clashed together
+in the same ludicrous way. I was dreadfully nonplussed on one occasion
+by hearing a speaker strongly recommend the audience to give their days
+and nights to the study of Bunyan and M'Cheyne. "Bunyan by all means,"
+said I to myself, "but who is M'Cheyne that one should be mindful of him
+and put him for importance alongside of the immortal tinker?"
+
+
+ORATORY AT SALEN.
+
+I shall never forget a vote of thanks proposed in my hearing by the
+excellent doctor of Salen, a pleasant little place situated on a
+V-shaped creek of Loch Sunart. I never expect to meet a more genial or
+more humorous man than the doctor, on this side of eternity. He knows
+the roads of gusty Ardnamurchan better than any other living man, and,
+night and day, by sun and by moon, in weather of clear blue, and under
+the eddying blinding flakes, he is ever on the move. He found time to
+come to the meeting and propose a vote of thanks to the donor of the
+library. Everyone listened intently to him as he stood there in his
+professional frock-coat,--a thin, wiry, twinkling-eyed gentleman. "If
+the donor by any chance," said he, looking at me, "should ever sail up
+Loch Sunart in his yacht, and land among the people of Salen, to whom
+his books have given such pleasure, I should advise him not to stand too
+near the edge of the pier, for fear some of the grateful natives might
+push him over into the loch, _in order to have the pleasure of saving
+his life!_" This unexpected sally convulsed the audience, and gave a gay
+and rollicking touch to the speeches that came after. Mr. M'Gregor, a
+farmer from Resipol, broad and brawny, rose to make a few remarks. The
+schoolhouse was very hot and close, but he disdained to throw off the
+thick and ample Highland cloak which he had on, and which he had worn
+all day at the Oban Cattle Show, and on the deck of the boat that had
+brought him thence. Mr. M'Gregor had been much struck by my remarks on
+the knights of King Arthur, and their custom of sitting at the Round
+Table, to avoid questions of precedence. He spoke to this effect: "I do
+not wish the lecturer to go back to Paisley under the impression that
+Salen is not a very bye-ordinary and consequential place. We have a
+fleet of yachts out there, the like of which is not to be seen _between
+this and Manch-oo-ria_. We have a blacksmith that can preach and quote
+Scripture as well as any D.D. in the land; my friend the grocer over
+there, will give you such bargains as you could never get in
+Sauchie-_hall_ Street; and we have a choir here that might give the
+angels singing-lessons. I am a very modest man, but I would like to say
+just a word about this Round Table business. The lecturer says the Table
+was round so that every knight might be at the head of it. That's the
+theory, but what's the fact? I'll tell you. _One of King Arthur's
+knights was an ancestor of mine, and his name was M'Greegor._[12] Now,
+wherever M'Greegor sat, that was always considered the head of the
+table." This contribution to Arthurian criticism was delivered with such
+force, faith, and genial glee, that no one, considering the powerful
+muscles of the speaker, was disposed to question it. (Mr. M'Gregor's
+eulogy of Salen did not comprise a reference to the local hotel, which
+is conducted on the Gothenburg system. It is comfortable and snug, but
+not whole-heartedly patronised by some of the natives, as they consider
+the system is an un-Celtic innovation, and believe further that every
+drink they take is written down in a big book with an alphabet on the
+edge of the leaves to facilitate reference).
+
+ [12] Judging from the number of clans that make a similar claim,
+ we might fancy that all King Arthur's knights
+
+ "Gartened low their leg,
+ And rowed their hurdies in a philabeg."
+
+
+
+
+LECTURE IN A DUNGEON, ETC.
+
+I have an agreeable recollection of my stay in Saddell, on the coast of
+Kintyre, as the guest of Colonel Macleod, son of the never-to-be-forgotten
+Dr. Norman Macleod. The Colonel was born in 1820, was present at the
+Eglinton Tournament, and is, to-day, in spite of his eighty-eight
+years, hale in body, sound of wind, and perfectly clear in the
+intellect. He is a walking encyclopaedia of all the social and political
+changes that have come about since the accession of Victoria. He is also
+an authority on live stock, and it is intensely amusing to see his
+horses scampering from the far-end of the field when they see him, in
+the hope of getting some of the bits of sugar he always carries in his
+pocket for their benefit.
+
+The school-house being badly situated for the convenience of the people,
+the meeting was held in the _dungeon of the old castle_, a spacious and
+airy place quite near the beach. Altogether, I reckon this meeting as
+the drollest in all my experience. There were no windows in the
+overhanging vaulted roof, and the long stone stair leading to the ground
+above, was filled with the audience that could not get accommodation
+below. The aged Colonel presided over about one hundred prisoners, and
+humorously remarked that the table at which he was standing, was really
+a _patent incubating apparatus_, under which four dozen of Mrs.
+Macleod's chickens were coming to maturity. He hoped these embryo fowls
+would not interrupt the lecture by any unseemly remarks. At the risk of
+wearying the chickens, I spoke for an hour and a half, dealing in the
+course of my remarks (to be as apposite as possible) with the dungeon
+scene in "The Legend of Montrose," where Dugald Dalgetty squeezes the
+windpipe of the Duke of Argyll.
+
+In one little village hall in Kintyre, I was much perturbed by some of
+the placards that had been placed on the walls. The hall had been used
+for evangelical purposes, and there, facing me, in yard-long type, was
+the dreadful command, _Get right with God_. To speak on Hood and his
+puns with those colossal letters burning their message into your soul,
+would need nerves of steel. I have not nerves of steel, and I felt
+dreadfully incommoded by the bill. For the space of five minutes I might
+occasionally forget it, and then, in the midst of some light and
+skittish quotation, my eye would light upon it, and the verses would
+come feebly and falteringly off the tongue. _Vox faucibus haesit._
+
+
+SURPRISES.
+
+My narrative would be lacking in completeness if I did not frankly
+confess that I have sometimes met with humiliations of a kind to wring
+the heart and call forth a sigh. In one nook of the north I stayed in
+the manse of an excellent clergyman, an eloquent preacher, but austere
+and extremely devout. He took the chair at the lecture, which was very
+well attended. Before the meeting began I was told that a local
+gentleman wished to ask me _an important question_. This was good news
+for me, as I thought the inquirer might have some literary difficulty
+which it would be profitable to handle in the course of my remarks. The
+anxious enquirer proved to be the local hotel-keeper, who, in a deadly
+earnest whisper made the following request: "You have a big meeting," he
+said, "and it's not likely there will be such a number of people so near
+my hotel for many a long day. _Would it be asking too much of you to
+finish up about half-past nine and give the audience time to sample
+some of my commodities before departing homewards?_ It's chiefly the
+minister I have to fear; for if he suspects I wish to do business, he'll
+prolong the vote of thanks till after the stroke of ten."
+
+One of my compensations in wandering Scotland thorough has been the
+heartfelt but rather naive way in which some of the provincials have
+expressed their gratitude. "_I've paid half-a-crown for worse_," said an
+old man of Ross to me, shaking me warmly by the hand and believing he
+was uttering a most delicate and hyperbolical compliment. (Now, during
+my remarks, I had noticed this man taking copious pinches of snuff to
+enable him, as I suspected, to sit out the meeting.) Another rustic,
+this time an Aberdonian, was impressed by the number of authors
+mentioned and the copious citations from their works. "Heavens!" he
+cried, "what a memory that man has! That's the kind of partner I should
+like to have at whist: he would never forget the cards that were out."
+
+I know not whether to laugh or weep when I think of the occasion on
+which the following charmingly irrelevant remarks were made to me: "We
+are all proud of our village library and _even prouder of the feeling
+that prompted such a gift_. I am reminded," the speaker went on to say,
+"of a cousin of mine who got a present of exquisite fruit (preserved in
+wine) from a friend in a distant part of the country. He wrote to the
+donor saying, 'Your fruit is delicious: I like it very much; but I like
+even more _the spirit in which it has been sent_.'"
+
+
+A VISIT TO THE BORDERS.
+
+In order that these pages may fitly represent all the districts of
+Caledonia that I have traversed as an uncommercial traveller, I should
+like to give a short sketch of how I reached Tweedside by way of Lanark,
+at a season when the Glasgow people were beginning their Fair holidays.
+Winter, as I remarked, is the time I prefer for travelling, but untoward
+circumstances have now and again compelled me to be on the move when
+"mid-summer, like an army with banners, was marching through the
+mid-heavens."
+
+I may say at once that it is a great trial to leave Glasgow at that
+particular date. The city pours forth its myriads at such a time. The
+stations are surging and heaving with throngs of men, women, and
+children, all in a hurry and all impatient. Families by tens and dozens
+are swarming about. How pathetic it is to see the father with one child
+in his arms and two clinging to his coat-tails, while the mother (poor
+bedraggled soul) is vainly striving to quieten a squalling fourth! Some
+children have lost their parents, and grope about underneath, nipping
+the legs of tourists to attract attention and get hold of the right
+father; others fall among bales of strawberries that were pulled
+yesterday in the fresh country air, but are now being trampled into gory
+pulp. Even in the fetid and dust-laden air, rendered almost unbearable
+by the hot sunlight that blazes through the overarching glass of the
+station roof, Cupid twangs his arrows, and soft eyes speak love to eyes
+that speak again. Suddenly the train arrives, and on the already
+crowded platform lands the human freight of twenty carriages--a fresh
+addition to the welter and confusion worse confounded. What a wealth of
+language one hears! Cyclists tinkle with bell and horn to secure the
+needed lane of passage. Porters, in desperate madness, throw wooden
+boxes down and rope-tied trunks of tin with little sympathy for injured
+knees and fiery corns. The train just in will shortly leave with a new
+load of passengers. A rush is made for the vacated seats: in tumbles the
+surging crowd without regard for the class of ticket they have
+purchased. A score of occupants per carriage is about the average; many
+swarm into the guard's van, where they are regaled with pandemoniac
+odours of ancient fish and decaying vegetables. The heavy train at
+length steams out into the open, and in an hour's time Lanark is
+reached. "_God made the country and man made the town_" is the
+involuntary reflection of the city man as he steps out of the train and
+breathes the fresh air of the hills.
+
+From Lanark to Peebles, by road, is thirty miles. The track is
+excellent, and if the wind is not adversely strong the joy of cycling
+the distance is difficult to parallel.
+
+On this route, no lumbering vehicles, laden with heavy merchandise, tear
+up the soil into ruts. No cab-drivers cast sarcastic remarks at you from
+their high perch. The only annoyance comes from the cast-off nail of a
+horse-shoe or the sharp splinter of a macadamised stone. The air is as
+fresh as on Creation's morn. Up hill and down again one can hurry on
+without ever touching the brake. For the first ten miles, the stately
+bulk of Tinto dominates the landscape. What a splendid range of scenery
+the eye could grasp from the high vantage-ground of its summit in clear
+weather! As one approaches the base of the big hill, the road turns
+sharply to the east, and you feel about your ears innumerable breezes
+that blow along from the little glens leading down from Tinto's breast.
+By and by, the clean, trim, little town of Biggar appears. (The
+inhabitants are proud of the fact that John Brown, author of the
+beautiful story, _Rab and his Frien's_, was a native of the town.) One
+notices the name of Gladstone prominent above the shops, and it is a
+fact that the ancestors of the Grand Old Man were, in the days of yore,
+denizens of those quiet hamlets. After a short rest here, we (for you
+are with me, _ami lecteur_) shoot on and pass the sleepy street of
+Broughton, lying clear and radiant in the slanting rays of the sun. Here
+is the ideal spot for a country clergyman in love with Hebrew roots and
+gardening and quiet contemplation. Soon we strike the tiny waters of the
+infant Tweed, prattling and gushing up and bubbling clear over its
+snow-white pebbles. Now the breeze of gloaming blows more snell. Away
+low in the west the sun begins to gather golden clouds in pomp around
+his setting. A gorgeous glimmer, gold and red, is thrown over the whole
+sky. Keeping close beside the ever-widening stream, we dash through
+little clachans on the bank, beneath long, over-arching avenues of
+trees, and past the gates of ivy-mantled homes of blessed outlook. Here
+a croquet party stops playing, for the grass is getting wet with
+evening dew, and there, in the river, and up to the knees in it, are
+half a dozen anglers sweeping the wave with their spurious fly. Peebles
+is not far off, and the quiet nooks of the high road are filled with
+pedestrians. The entrance to Peebles is exquisite. The long rows of
+trees, the situation of the road high above the river in the dell,
+combine to make an eerie blend of sound from sighing leaves and gurgling
+waters. An old Border peel, Needpath Castle, stands near the straggling
+outskirts of the town, and proves, by its choice situation on the knoll,
+that our cattle-reiving ancestors were quite alive to the advantages of
+a good view. It was a stirring quarter here in the days of the old
+Scotch kings. The deadly thrust of lance has reddened every burn in the
+wide Borderland. Every brae has had its gory bicker.
+
+On this _tournee_ I had the pleasure of giving a lecture on "Scotch
+Ballads," at a little village not more than half a mile from the
+birthplace of Dandie Dinmont. The place was full of sturdy, firm-knit
+Borderers, descendants of the dare-devil troopers who wrought such
+devastation along the Marches when the Stuarts reigned in Holyrood.
+Fresh, ruddy faces, coloured by breeze and sun; hard, keen, inquisitive
+looks; intelligence such as comes from knowledge of nature, hereditary
+quickness and good circulation of blood: all these could be instantly
+seen by glancing round the audience. (How insignificant a mere bookworm
+or scholar feels among a company of brawny Liddesdale farmers!) During
+the lecture, it was easy to note by the grim smile on their faces, their
+flashing eyes and the way they gripped their big sticks, that the old
+stirring rhymes of fight struck a sympathetic chord in their hearts. Now
+and again, during the address, one could see the lips of the listeners
+moving in soft repetition of the lines, as some typical quotations were
+being made.
+
+It is not likely that there has been much change or influx of population
+in these districts for centuries. The alertness and intelligence of the
+natives must be to some extent an inheritance from the generations of
+strenuous clansmen whose blood flows in their veins. Life in a
+historical district is bound to have an ennobling effect on a man,
+especially if he feels knit to the past by lineal descent from the
+historical actors. A glamour of romance clings to hill and glen. The
+dalesman you meet on the highway can tell you all the lore of his
+parish, giving dates and citing illustrative lays. It is pleasant to
+find that the stories of the Borderland are still known where they first
+took birth, and that the local names, which to students instantly
+suggest delightful bits of rhyme, have also to those who dwell near
+them, a romance that is borrowed from the olden time.[13]
+
+Anyone who has travelled in the shires that run along the Cheviots and
+the Tweed, will conclude that poetry and romance may ever find a home
+there. The hills, with their green pastoral slopes and abundant leafage,
+are a delight to the eye in fresh spring and tinted fall. The sound of
+the streams, as Ruskin has pointed out, is sweet and rhythmic to an
+extraordinary degree, combining with the sough of the winds to form an
+undersong of Nature's own melody. As the traveller drives or cycles
+along the roads, he now and again gets such impressive vistas of
+long-stretching waterways, wooded to the brink with graceful trees, as
+grave themselves on the memory for evermore. For rock, crag, and dashing
+linn, the northern Highlands are supreme; but in the green Borderland,
+there is a more sedate and proportioned beauty. Nature is none the less
+attractive for losing somewhat of her wildness and austerity.
+
+ [13] A favourite and appropriate book in this part of Scotland is
+ Wilson's _Tales of the Borders_. There are not many farm-houses
+ in the Lowlands of Scotland in which one does not find old
+ copies, bound and unbound, of Wilson's _Tales_. Usually they show
+ unmistakable evidence of having been frequently perused. One is
+ bound to admit that the modern reader, if he spends an evening
+ turning over these old pages, will find little reason to pride
+ himself on the superiority of the popular reading of to-day. The
+ short story, now in vogue, may be finely illustrated, and highly
+ sensational, but its matter is certainly inferior, as a rule, to
+ the general run of Wilson's stories. Wilson, in his humble way,
+ was a gleaner in the field so richly harvested by Sir Walter
+ Scott. _The Minstrelsy of the Scottish Border_ had called
+ attention to the great stores of poetry and romance lingering
+ among the peasantry of the Debateable Land. Wilson's _Tales_
+ showed how much of the old spirit remained more than two
+ centuries after the Union, and, in spite of all Christianity and
+ an orderly Government had done for the softening of manners.
+ Hogg, in speaking of his own countryside, said: "The poor people
+ of these glens know no other entertainment in the long winter
+ nights than repeating and listening to the feats of their
+ ancestors recorded in songs which I believe to have been handed
+ down from father to son for many generations." Wilson and his
+ successors gathered up as much of the romantic material as they
+ found available, and printed it for the delight of their
+ generation.
+
+
+TARBOLTON.
+
+In the agricultural lowlands of Scotland it is not rare to come upon
+little villages that seem entirely left behind by modern progress. Not
+long ago my work took me to Tarbolton, a quiet, uneven village in the
+heart of the queenly shire of Ayr. The railway company has treated the
+place very badly: a full fifteen minutes' drive is needed to reach the
+town from the station. It is as if the company said: "Make what you can
+of our line, ye insignificant Tarboltonians; our trains are in a hurry
+to get from Ayr to Muirkirk; be thankful if we set you down only three
+miles from your home." If it is not wet, the drive is a grand one. Five
+miles to the right, Mauchline shows its red complexion on the green
+hillside, and awakens lyric memories of Burns's imperishable mouse and
+share-torn gowan. Over the pasture lands on the right come freshening
+winds that hint of the heaving Firth not far away. The road pursued by
+the coach meanders among all that is best of rural and pastoral scenery,
+for coaly Annbank, defaced by the exhumed entrails of the earth, is
+happily on the rear. At a turn of the road, a majestic spire, that of
+Tarbolton Parish Church, suddenly stands before the view of the
+traveller, and suggests Eternity even when tolling the hours of Time.
+Soon the village is reached, and one is in a position to form an idea of
+eighteenth century Scotland. The main street is built with that
+irregularity so charmingly illustrative of the evolution of the
+builder's art. Old cots roofed with thatch take the mind back to the
+time when George I. was defending the faith and maltreating his wife.
+Side by side with such are trim two-storey houses with all modern
+elegancies.
+
+I have a pleasant recollection of this interesting village, not merely
+from its associations with Burns (which Mr. T.F. Henderson in a dainty
+little book has recently recounted anew), but also from the fact that
+the natives keep alive the literary traditions of the place in quite a
+worthy way. The local baker has written a fluent volume of Essays
+dealing with village incidents and worthies, which proves, as Mr. Barrie
+says, that life in every stage, if truthfully portrayed, is intensely
+interesting, and that every window-blind is the curtain for some tragedy
+or comedy.
+
+
+THE SCOTCH LANGUAGE.
+
+Very fine Scotch is still spoken in the rural districts of Ayrshire, and
+most of Burns's dialect words are in daily use, at least by the older
+generation. The Education Department has most wisely given encouragement
+to the study of Lowland Scotch, and I do not see why a special grant
+should not be given for special excellence in that department. Some
+national movement for a complete Dictionary of Modern Scotch with
+explanations in up-to-date philology ought to be organised.
+
+During the lifetime of Sir Walter Scott, Dr. Jamieson published the
+famous _Scottish Dictionary_, which still holds the field as the most
+elaborate compendium of the Lowland dialects. Looked at in the light of
+modern science, the derivations are often absurd and fanciful.
+Jamieson's love for Gothic parallels led him constantly astray.
+Nevertheless, his dictionary, as amended by various revisers, remains a
+stately monument of industry and a necessary adjunct in the study of the
+Scotch language.
+
+In our own day, Dr. Murray of Oxford has compiled an illuminating
+grammar of the language, indicating the various dialects of the Lowlands
+and their geographical areas. Local antiquarians have also written out
+lists of words special to particular counties. Dialect books, such as
+the entertaining _Johnnie Gibb of Gushetneuk_, as well as Mr. Barrie's
+delightful sketches, have put excellent specimens of provincial speech
+within the hands of a wide circle of readers. A good dictionary of
+modern Scotch, dealing with what has been written during the last two
+centuries, would be a very useful and a very interesting compendium. It
+would show that a great many expressive words employed by thirteenth
+century English writers are still in use on the Scotch side of the
+Border.
+
+There is no denying the fact that book-English will soon push out the
+relics of the old Scotch tongue. Burns will soon be read by lexicon,
+even in the shire of Ayr. Men now write poetry in Scotch as boys at Eton
+and Harrow write Latin verses, the result in both cases being, as a
+rule, hideous and artificial doggrel. The little book, _Wee Macgregor_,
+written in what may be called the Scotch Cockney dialect, was a brave
+and amusing attempt to phonograph the talk of a Glasgow boy of the lower
+middle class. The unlovely speech employed by the author is, happily,
+quite unlike the careful and deliberate speech of the educated citizen
+of Glasgow or Paisley. The main differences between the educated Scot
+and the educated Englishman are that the vowel sounds of the former are
+pure and that _r_ and _h_ have a real value in most words where these
+letters occur.
+
+It seems to me a _very undesirable_ thing that a uniform system of
+pronunciation should be aimed at in every country of the British Isles.
+So long as clear and expressive enunciation of English is attained,
+intelligible differences of vocalisation, pitch, and even of vocabulary,
+are allowable, and at times positively charming. Monotony is the bane of
+life.
+
+
+CHOICE BOOKS.
+
+ "Whether the books are borrowed books or no
+ That show their varied stature row on row
+ Along your walls, there will I truly find
+ The image of your character and mind.
+ Light, flimsy novels suit the flying train
+ Or _Western Isle_ excursions of Macbrayne,
+ Where, dazed by gleaming firths of visible heat,
+ The torpid soul disdains substantial meat;
+ But oft-read volumes, to which men recur
+ The whole year round, bespeak the character."
+
+The above lines, written by some unknown poetaster, indicate that it is
+the book we read over and over again that has the greatest potency in
+our education. I quite agree with the author, and I love to behold the
+well-thumbed pocket-edition that speaks to the eye of much handling and
+frequent perusal. There are very few books _worth_ reading once that are
+not worth reading oftener. Hobbes used to say that if he had read as
+much literature as the majority of men, he would have been as ignorant
+as they. In that remark what depths of meaning lie! The sage of
+Malmesbury attributed his success in philosophy to his habit of
+judicious selection--to the fact that he concentrated his attention on
+those authors who were likely to help the development of his powers.
+Selection is more required now than in Hobbes's time. Few men would care
+to read more than a hundred books through in a year, and yet there are
+twenty thousand volumes added annually to the shelves of the British
+Museum.
+
+
+THE ESSAYISTS.
+
+It has been my privilege, during the last three or four years, to
+examine with more or less care something like four hundred bookcases,
+containing works on all departments of literature. _I am inclined to
+turn away in disgust if the Essayists are not patronised._
+
+Those delightful Essayists! Happy is the man who has his shelves full of
+them--writers who talk sense with wanton heed and giddy cunning, who
+spread their souls out on paper, who disarm hostility by taking you
+completely into their confidence. Addison, with the roguish gleam in his
+eye as he is calculating the number of sponges in the cost of a lady's
+finery; Goldsmith, in his London garret, talking of the ludicrous
+escapades of the Man in Black; Lamb luxuriating in reminiscences of Old
+Benchers. All these splendid, unsystematic delights, mingled with the
+breezes of byegone summers and the sunsets of long ago! Old ghosts
+whisper you their secrets; you hear the brush of sweeping garments that
+have been moth-eaten these hundred years. Crowded streets of people
+appear before the eye of fancy--London in the days of Anne and the
+Georges. In the company of such wits, there are no slow-moving hours:
+you have in them friends who never need tire you, for should the
+slightest tedium intervene, you may, without offence, stop their flow of
+conversation. Our living intimates are prone to drynesses and huffs; but
+these old prattling wits ever welcome us with a smile of affability.
+
+
+A BANFF THEORY.
+
+While speaking of Essayists, I ought to mention a peculiar Banffshire
+theorist who addressed me in the following words: "Give me an old set of
+_Blackwood_ in the Kit North days, and I can easily forego your
+pinchbeck stories and propagandist novels of to-day. I put the most
+interesting period for reading at _sixty years ago_, and I think Scott
+must have known the charm of that number when he gave the alternative
+title to _Waverley_. It is pleasant to know how the world wagged when
+your grandfather was a ruddy egg-purloining rogue of five. When I read
+farther back than a century, I feel imagination flagging--the Merry
+Monarch is not much more to me than John the Baptist. But the men of the
+forties stand out clear and distinct. If I have never seen an
+out-and-out fiery Chartist, I have at least seen some smouldering
+specimens--men with much of the eloquence and a little of the enterprise
+of the original five-pointers. It may be that as I grow older, my most
+interesting historical period will move with me, keeping always at a
+distance of sixty years from the present, until, when I get within hail
+of the Psalmist's stint, I shall be most interested in childish things."
+These words rather staggered me, and set me thinking of geometrical
+_loci_. A man holding such views would find it difficult to obtain a
+bird's-eye view of history.
+
+
+GOLDSMITH IN GAELIC.
+
+If I had an adequate knowledge of Gaelic, combined with plenty of money
+and leisure, I should set myself the task of translating the whole of
+Goldsmith's Essays and Tales into that language, for the benefit of
+those who had no English. It would be a great feat if one could impress
+on the modern Celtic mind the conviction that piety and diversion are by
+no means incompatible. Goldsmith's _Auburn_ introduces us to the most
+delightful prospect on earth: a simple village community, unacquainted
+with luxury and uncorrupted by vice. The inhabitants are full of health
+and joy--they till the soil and gain ample satisfaction for their
+unambitious wants. Life passes along bringing a pleasant succession of
+happy hours. After the labours of the day, the young people dance
+merrily on the green, and the old folk look on and regret that their own
+legs are too stiff to keep time to the fiddles. Certain Highland
+landlords might also read with advantage the exquisitely pathetic lines
+in which the poet pictures the desolation and ruin of the rural
+paradise, and perhaps conclude therefrom that, when glen and strath are
+depleted of their inhabitants, and these latter driven over the seas to
+seek a foothold in strange lands, it is the very heart's blood of
+Britain that is being drained away.
+
+On the whole, probably no English writer has given such genuine delight
+as Goldsmith, and such genuine instruction too. Ineradicably frivolous,
+culpably negligent of the morrow, whimsically vain and living all his
+days from hand to mouth, he had the faculty of drawing upon himself the
+pity, and even the contempt, of his associates. But in the eyes of
+posterity, his happy-go-lucky life is amply redeemed by the work he has
+left behind him, for _it_ is pure and good. His river of speech flows
+ever on shining like molten gold. No man of his time possessed the
+adroit knack of bright writing in a more eminent degree. The pawky
+humour of his side-hits, the blending of light and shade in the process
+of the narrative, the beauty and melody that can be noted even in the
+sound of the sentences, combine to delight the judgment, the ear, and
+the fancy. Though the _Vicar of Wakefield_ is a prose production, it
+produces all the effect of a poem on the affections of the heart. Of
+wit, properly speaking, it is as full as any volume of _The Spectator_;
+with humour it is flooded from beginning to end; and in those pathetic
+delineations of life which no one can read without being profoundly
+touched, there are few poems so rich.
+
+
+BIBLIA ABIBLIA.
+
+In many (indeed most) houses I have visited, I see in the bookcase large
+publications in six or seven well-bound parts and as good as new,
+dealing with subjects of little interest to anyone who breathes the
+vital air of heaven. Such titles as _Science for All_, _The Thames from
+its Source to the Sea_, _The Queens of England_ are among the commonest
+on the boards of the books I allude to. The presence of these editions
+indicates that the possessor at a certain period of his life was shy and
+could not say _no_ to that limb of the Evil One--the book-canvasser. The
+latter individual is the forerunner of the colporteur, who will bring
+you, if you wish poetry, an edition of the works of Shakespeare which is
+peculiarly ill-adapted for holding in the hand and reading. The print is
+large, the page is in size like a miniature wall-map, and the
+illustrations are got up with an easy defiance of archeology. The
+annotations, though stolen, are distinguished for extreme futility.
+After you have begun the purchase of such a book, shame and chagrin
+drive you to attempt the study of it; but it is of no use, and on each
+occasion of the very regular advent of the colporteur, you are inclined
+to swear horribly, after which a period of extreme dejection supervenes
+when you recollect the many fine things you could purchase for the
+half-guinea periodically expended. The knowledge of human nature
+displayed by the man who books the order surpasses anything in the works
+of the analytical philosophers. Every artifice of attack is his, and he
+knows how to play on all the emotions so ably and exhaustively
+catalogued in the manuals of Professor Bain. I believe a gay and
+chaffing rejoinder is what he can least overcome. Suggest to him that
+you are far gone in poverty and offer to _sell_ him a few of your own
+books. Frequent exercise will confirm your principles, until finally,
+when you see one of the book-canvassing tribe, you will foresee half an
+hour's innocent amusement.
+
+Certain of the points he so feelingly brings before you may no doubt
+awaken a responsive echo in your own bosom. You are well aware, for
+example, that your knowledge of the Queens of England is culpably
+imperfect. You know you are never likely to go in steadily for the study
+of constitutional developments, and so are led to admit the
+reasonableness of tackling history from a lighter and more entertaining
+point of view. Again, as to the River Thames, one must really grant that
+a considerable amount of self-complacency and internal sunniness would
+result from the ability to contradict your friends as to the length in
+miles of some of its minor tributaries. In science, too, you are no
+Kepler or Linnaeus, and there is something satisfactory when pedants
+talk of orbits, planes, bulbs, or beetles, in being able to say that
+_you have a big book at home that tells all about those things_.
+
+Many people buy books, not because they have a present need for them,
+but on the chance that at some time in the future such volumes as they
+see for sale will solve a doubt or answer a need. The precise doubt or
+the pressing need rarely arises. I met a Celt who had bought a copy of
+Josephus in most irritating type, in the hope that it would help him to
+confute a Roman Catholic on the Power of the Keys. Then again, people of
+a wavering and bird-witted type of mind are constantly changing the
+subject of their interest: this month they are attacked by the _furor
+poeticus_, next month it will be a _furor botanicus_ or _politicus_.
+Each separate frenzy means expenditure. When Browning is the temporary
+subject of the mania, a host of expository books on that poet have to be
+purchased, all of which are duly consigned to the topmost shelves when
+the soreness of the fit is past. There is also a tendency to purchase,
+because on the chance opening of a book you light on something that
+pleases the whim of the moment. It is a thousand to one that when you
+have bought the book you will not find another item worth perusing in
+the entire contents. This tendency to buy a book in a panic may be
+neutralised by remembering the story (whether true or not) of Defoe, who
+is said to have boomed the languid sale of the dreary _Drelincourt on
+Death_ by means of a spicy little ghost story as introduction! Buy in
+haste, repent at leisure.
+
+
+SECOND-HAND BOOKS.
+
+It is a much pleasanter sight to my eyes to see a bookcase with
+second-hand books in it, for these are almost always bought to be read.
+In a teacher's house near Elgin, I recently saw a most remarkable
+collection--a veritable ragged regiment of books: single volumes of
+Plutarch, unexpurgated plays by Farquhar and Mrs. Behn, Civil War
+pamphlets, and rows of oddities. Mr. Forbes (the owner) was at one
+period of his life assistant in Falkirk, and every Saturday morning,
+rain or shine, he proceeded to the city of Glasgow, for no purpose but
+to roam through the dusty byeways and side streets in quest of
+bookstalls. He knew all the dealers by name, and they welcomed him, for
+he never left them without a purchase, however slight. It was a saying
+of his that while it took half-a-crown to purchase you two hours'
+amusement at a theatre, for a couple of shillings, or even less, you
+might divide out a whole Saturday most enjoyably in the old book-shops.
+He simply rioted in haggling over a threepenny piece. Even old Henderson
+feared him. This Henderson was a thirsty old bookseller who kept a shop
+at the corner of Cowcaddens and Ingram Street, and whose leading
+speciality was second-hand family Bibles, with the former genealogical
+leaf riven out and replaced by a clean sheet pasted in for the family of
+the next purchaser. To him, sitting enthroned on a pile of Bibles,
+Forbes, entering, spake: "Have you a copy of the _Lives of the Twelve
+Caesars_?" "Aye, aye," said old Henderson, with a gracious smile;
+"_thirteen_ if you like." The copy of Suetonius was produced, and "How
+much do you want for Suet.?" queried Forbes. "Half-a-crown," said old
+Henderson. "I'll give you ninepence," said Forbes. "Make it
+one-and-six," said the bookseller, rising from his Biblical throne, "and
+the book's yours." "I'll give you a shilling and a half of whisky,"
+retorted Forbes. "Say a whole glass and the shilling, and we'll do
+business," quoth the vendor of volumes. This was agreed upon, and the
+two retired into the nearest dram-shop to conclude the bargain. Every
+Saturday evening, Forbes came home by the last train, carrying his
+bundle of volumes. He was careful to fumigate them for the purpose of
+destroying any microbes, and finally would sprinkle them with _eau de
+Cologne_ to make them tolerable to the nose. On Sunday, he enjoyed the
+luxury of desultory reading.
+
+Like Mr. Forbes, I enjoy a ramble among these old shops, and can say, as
+he said to me at parting:--
+
+ "I love the trundling stall
+ Where ragged authors wait the buyer's call,
+ Where, for the tariff of a modest supper,
+ You'll buy a twelvemonth's moral feast in Tupper;
+ Where Virgil's tome is labelled at a groat,
+ And twopence buys what tittering Flaccus wrote;
+ Where lie the quips of Addison and Steele,
+ And the thrice-blessed songs of Rob Mossgiel;
+ And some that resurrection seek in vain
+ From the swart dust that chokes the lumbering wain."
+
+
+FAVOURITES.
+
+I have often been asked: "You who are so much on the move, who have had
+so much train-travelling to do, what books would you recommend for a
+long railway journey?" I do not know that one man's likes and dislikes
+in reading are of value save as showing his own limitations, yet there
+are certain books of which I never tire. I never leave home without the
+following books handy for perusal: (i.) The _Odes of Horace_, (ii.) The
+_Sonnets of Shakespeare_, (iii.) A French novel and a few copies of the
+Paris _Matin_, (iv.) A Greek book of some kind, (v.) Pope or Addison,
+(vi.) Some Victorian classic. The list is varied enough, and has
+furnished me with much of the material for my speaking.
+
+
+HORACE.
+
+The pleasant thing about Horace is that his odes are so short: you can
+read one in a few minutes--shut your eyes and enjoy the mental taste of
+it--try to repeat it, and, if you fail, consult the original--then,
+finally (as Pope and many others have done), endeavour to find modern
+parallels. Suppose, _e.g._, you are reading, as is likely, the first Ode
+of the first Book, you might find present-day resemblances like the
+following:--
+
+_Curriculo pulverem._
+
+ What mad attractions sway the world!
+ Some are unhappy save when whirled
+ In motor cars that madly race,
+ To leave a stench in every place,
+ And maim those foolish folk that stray
+ Abroad upon the king's highway.
+
+_Tergeminis honoribus._
+
+ Yon babbling wight, of sense forlorn,
+ Who thinks himself a Gladstone born,
+ Although a bailie, still must strain
+ To gain himself a Provost's chain.
+ And, after that, the worthy prater
+ Aspires to be a legislator;
+ Dreams of St. Stephen's, where he sees
+ Himself hobnobbing with M.P.'s.
+
+_Patrios agros._
+
+ But Farmer Bob is somewhat saner--
+ He minds his stock and is the gainer;
+ Content to pass his life amid
+ The scenes that his old father did.
+ With hose in hand he cleans the byre,
+ And saves himself a menial's hire;
+ But gives his girls an education
+ That may unfit them for their station.
+ But don't ask Bob to tempt the tide,
+ Even on a turbine down the Clyde;
+ Neptune and Ceres don't agree,
+ And farmers hate the name of sea.
+
+_Mox reficit rates._
+
+ When Skipper Smith (whose usual goal
+ Is Campbeltown with Ayrshire coal)
+ Is labouring thro' Kilbrannan Sound,
+ He sighs for Troon and solid ground,
+ And swears, if he were safe on shore,
+ He'd never be a sailor more.
+ But once on shore--he thinks it dull,
+ And soon begins to tar the hull
+ And caulk the timbers of his ship:
+ "I'll try," he says, "another trip."
+
+_Lene Caput._
+
+ Some love to mangle turf: I see
+ Them drive their balls from sandy tee,
+ And think their day's delight begins
+ When they are up among the whins.
+ Some elders, full of godly zeal,
+ Turn crazy about rod and reel;
+ And ministers, reputed wise,
+ Take service with the Lord of Flies
+ (Beelzebub), and like the work
+ Better than prosing in a kirk.
+
+_Conjugis immemor._
+
+ Sir Samuel Croesus (noble wight!
+ Who paid so dear to be a knight)
+ Forsakes his lady for the hills,
+ And aims at birds he never kills.
+ Too late in life he shouldered gun,
+ Breathless he toils beneath the sun,
+ Sips whisky every other minute,
+ Until his flask has nothing in it;
+ Then, at the end of strength and tether,
+ Falls tipsy in the blooming heather.
+
+_Praemia frontium._
+
+ But as for me, my wants are few:
+ L3,000 a year would do;
+ A villa built upon a height,
+ With ample view to left and right;
+ A garden with a sunny seat,
+ A grassy lawn with borders neat.
+ Inside, a study furnished well
+ (Like a true scholar's citadel)
+ With books and pipes and easy chairs;
+ Here, in despite of worldly cares,
+ If I should write a verse or two--
+ A lyric that a _judge_ like you
+ Could read, without once yawning, through--
+ I'd be as proud as any man
+ That scribbled since the world began.
+
+Horace is thus fit for all times and conjunctures, and is the most
+modern of all the Latin writers--
+
+ "Horace still charms with pleasing negligence,
+ And without method talks us into sense."
+
+The translation of Horace's Odes into modern speech is generally
+admitted to be one of the most difficult tasks to which a versifier can
+apply himself. And yet there is no task so often essayed. It is a common
+saying in France that, when a lawyer quits the bar and retires, he is
+certain to publish a new translation of Horace after a year or two's
+studious ease. M. Loubet, we know, is a zealous devotee of the Sabine
+bard. Not the least droll of Mr. Gladstone's many feats was the
+publication, shortly before his death, of a translation of Horace's
+Odes, a translation wholly worthless indeed, in spite of the writer's
+immense scholarship, but valuable as showing the fascination exercised
+by Horace over the most austere and ecclesiastical of minds. It seemed
+strange indeed to see the great statesman turn aside from his study of
+Butler and the Fathers of the Church, in order to put into English verse
+the gay, and often scandalous odes, of an old Pagan epicure. Mr. Morley,
+who revised the translation, must have smiled as he read the old man's
+rendering of--
+
+ "_Quis multa gracilis te puer in rosa._"
+
+It is a fact, I suppose, that poetic translations of Horace are rarely
+read, save by scholars, and the verdict is almost always unkind. Yet an
+excellent anthology could be compiled by selecting the happiest
+renderings of the most talented translators. Dryden's paraphrase of
+III., 29, has been uniformly praised, and was a great favourite of
+Thackeray's. Cowper's nimble wit and classic taste are seen in his
+translation of II., 10, an ode beautifully rendered also by Mr. William
+Watson. Sir Theodore Martin and Connington are always readable, Francis
+is uniformly insipid, and Professor Newman, with his metrical capers,
+absolutely absurd. Pope's "Imitations of Horace" are so brilliant, that
+no student of English literature can afford to neglect them. Pope's
+method of replacing ancient allusions by modern ones, was employed by
+Johnson in some magnificent renderings of Juvenal, and no doubt
+suggested to our Scotch vernacular poets a mode (still popular) of
+translating Horace into Doric speech. Our Scotch bards preferred, as a
+rule, to work on the Odes, and they succeeded best when they departed
+most widely from the Latin text.
+
+
+SHAKESPEARE'S SONNETS.
+
+The same blessed quality of brevity that attracts one in Horace is to me
+one of the recommendations of Shakespeare's Sonnets. I am glad the
+mystery of them is never likely to be discovered. From frequent perusal
+of them in the train, I know the majority by heart, but despair of
+finding any cryptogram in them.
+
+The cord on which these exquisite beads of poetry are strung is of the
+most flimsy and frayed character. In other words, the characters are all
+bad, and the verses that laud them are of the utmost brilliancy and
+fascination. The poet himself supplies material that would justify us in
+stigmatising his friend as a heartless and dissipated rogue. He also
+lets us know that the pale-faced lady was an unwholesome and treacherous
+minx. Yet he addresses the one in language that would be too laudatory
+for Sir Galahad, and the other he idolises and insults by turns.
+
+How strange it is that the poet, while lingering fondly over the doings
+of these two un-moral persons, should give utterance to some of the most
+impressive lines in English literature! Certain of the sonnets pierce
+the heart as with an arrow: such are those that deal, in broad and
+pathetic fashion, with the ceaseless flux of all things human, the grim
+realities of the grave, the ruthless sequence of earthly events, and the
+measureless melancholy of the reflecting mind. The effect produced is
+often like what we experience in reading Ecclesiastes or Omar Khayyam.
+"Golden lads and lasses must, like chimney-sweepers, turn to dust."
+
+Though Shakespeare is dolefully impressed by the decay and destruction
+of all material things and by the evanescent nature of beauty, he has no
+doubt whatever of the immortality of the verses he is writing. He vaunts
+as boldly as ever Horace did--indeed, in words that suggest the _Exegi
+monumentum_ ode--that his verses will outlast the proudest works of man.
+It is a sorry anti-climax to such a boast that the poet harps on the
+immortality of the dissolute youth as a consequence of the sonnets
+having an eternity of renown. Was there ever such a puzzling and
+unworthy association of ideas? The puzzle is rendered more perplexing
+still by the fact that Shakespeare took no pains to enlighten posterity
+as to the identity of the youth he praises, or even to supervise the
+publication of the sonnets. Thorpe's piratical edition was full of
+misprints, but Shakespeare, so far as we know, took no notice of it, and
+made no attempt, by giving the world a correct and authentic version, to
+secure what his verses declare him to be anxious to bring about, viz.,
+the renown of his friend among generations to come. For us the youth
+still exists, no doubt, but not as an historical character. _He takes
+his place among the creatures of the poets imagination, and is far more
+of a shadow or phantom than any one of them._[14]
+
+_If we suppose_ the sonnets to be connected with real life, it is not
+easy to understand why the radiant youth, "the world's fresh ornament,"
+"only herald to the gaudy spring," etc., should need such an amount of
+persuasion to marry. Seventeen sonnets of great poetical beauty and
+felicitous language are devoted to this object. It is an exquisite treat
+to read them as works of art, but taken literally they are unspeakably
+absurd. No sane man would draw out such lengths of linked sweetness for
+the purpose named; nor would any youth, however credulous, _take the
+sonnets at their face value_. Shakespeare is merely practising his art,
+and we may be perfectly sure that these "sugared" sonnets (as Meres
+calls them), if they did circulate among the poet's private friends,
+were regarded as rhetorical exercises. They are intensely interesting,
+as showing the overpoweringly dramatic nature of Shakespeare's genius.
+Being impressed with the desirability of perpetuating beauty, he is
+driven to express the idea in the conventional form of a
+sonnet-sequence. The result is an exhaustiveness of treatment, a wealth
+of imaginative ornament, and a dramatic vividness of presentation that
+makes the reader marvel how so much could be made out of so little.
+
+ [14] Mr. Lee has collected an amount of evidence which seems to
+ prove that T. T., _i.e._, Thomas Thorpe, who wrote the
+ dedication, was not only a piratical publisher, but also a
+ humourist. The dedication, read in the light of these
+ observations, acquires a character of jocularity, and _begetter_
+ means _procurer_ or _getter_. Thorpe thus becomes what we know
+ Curll to have been a century later, a printer of stolen copy,
+ with a turn for cynical waggery. Mr. W. H., the begetter,
+ accordingly, is not a glittering aristocrat, but an unscrupulous
+ go-between, who has made free with somebody's escritoire, and
+ handed the sonnets over to the gay T. T.!
+
+
+XENOPHON.
+
+There is one Greek book, of which I have gone through three or four
+copies by carrying it about in the pocket for my _moments perdus_. I
+refer to the _Economist_ of Xenophon, a gem of a book, and one on which
+I have often lectured. The title is not an attractive one, but the body
+of the work is charming in the highest degree, and gives a better notion
+of ancient Greek life than any other book in existence. Ruskin, who had
+an unerring instinct for good literature, got two of his disciples to
+put the book into English, himself furnishing a preface of
+characteristic insight and brilliancy. He might well do such homage to
+the old Greek soldier, for the _Economist_ contains teaching remarkably
+like what is to be found in certain of the chapters of _Unto This Last_.
+A reader cannot fail to be struck by the wonderful modernness of
+Xenophon's writing, his love for the country, his simple and genuine
+piety, his soldierly directness, and his practical common sense. Here is
+a delightful sidelight on Greek family life, written twenty-three
+centuries ago, but which might have been spoken yesterday: "_My wife_,"
+says one of the characters, "_often puts me on trial and takes me to
+task--When I am candid and tell her everything, I get on well enough,
+but if I hide or disguise anything, it goes hard with me, for I cannot
+make black seem white to her._"
+
+The _Economist_ is an ideal volume for the country calm: it will not
+deliver up its best to you in the city; but if it is leisurely perused
+while hayrick fragrances are in the air, while butterflies are
+fluttering round the lawns, and while the flow of a clear-gushing brook
+chimes with your fancy and the quiet tone of the old Greek's musings,
+then (be sure) the mellow sweetness of the "Attic Bee" will be
+adequately enjoyed.
+
+It is a great pity that life is so short, that there are only
+twenty-four hours in the day, and that, owing to the general scarcity of
+money among the intellectual portion of the community, the possession of
+free-will is a pathetic fallacy. Nobody, in these bonds of time and
+space, can do precisely what he would like to do. Mr. T. P. O'Connor
+once said that, if he were master of his fate, and his feet in every way
+clear, he would at once proceed to Athens and learn Greek. I can
+conceive no keener or greater joy than that: it is the wish of a genuine
+lover of letters. At the age of ten, I came upon an old copy of Pope's
+_Homer_, and have been in love with Greek literature ever since. The
+cares of this world, including rates and taxes, prevent me likewise from
+proceeding to the City of the Violet Crown, but there are plenty of
+cheap copies of Homer to be had in Scotland, and it is no disadvantage
+that some of them have the translation printed on the opposite page.
+
+So many things have to be learned at school now, that Greek is being
+pushed out. In future, it will be a University subject solely. That is a
+great pity, for although there are fine translations of the Greek
+authors in English, these are not so much read as they ought to be.
+Greek itself would be much easier to learn if editors would write fewer
+and shorter notes.[15]
+
+ [15] Penalties of a really deterrent kind might at least be laid
+ upon those gentlemen who write _more than three_ pages of notes
+ to one of the author's text:
+
+ O that the Kaiser showing sense for once
+ Would loose his fury on each learned dunce,
+ And visit with his summary proceedings
+ The rogues who tease us with their _variant readings_.
+
+
+FRENCH LITERATURE AND JOURNALISM.
+
+I am always delighted to see French books on the shelves of a rural
+library. I notice Dowden's _French Literature_ in many a Highland
+bookcase; and I am sure it will please that erudite and most excellent
+professor to know he has hundreds of students who never saw his face.
+Everybody should learn the French language: I don't know a better
+intellectual investment. French is rich in precisely those qualities
+that English lacks. It is not necessary, for proof of that statement, to
+read Gautier, Bourget, or Hugo. A daily paper from Paris supplies all
+the proof required.
+
+I freely admit that the French newspaper seems, on first acquaintance,
+to be a wonderful and puzzling affair. It is never dull or tiresome, or
+glum. You may have your dearest susceptibilities wounded by it, but you
+won't fall asleep as you read its columns. Humour trickles from
+paragraph to paragraph; wit coruscates in the accounts of the most
+ordinary police cases; and abundant of dexterous literary workmanship is
+to be found in the leading articles. In spite of such admirable
+qualities, there is an element of frivolity, a lack of seriousness (I
+speak of the typical Boulevard sheet) that is at first rather shocking
+to a British reader. He finds grave subjects treated with a fineness of
+touch and a lucidity of reasoning at once charming and full of
+edification: but, lo! a pun trails accidentally off the journalist's
+pen, or an odd collocation of ideas jostle each other in his brain: the
+writer at once stops his instructive reasoning; he goes off the main
+line and careers bounding down some devious side-path of entertaining
+nonsense. Our home papers are almost uniformly staid; they are written
+conscientiously, laboriously, commendably. But, after all, the French
+are right in trying to inject as much entertainment as possible into the
+daily record of mundane things.
+
+I regret to say that the majority of French newspapers do not give their
+readers a quite fair or accurate account of events happening outside of
+France. French topics, as is right, have the bulk of the space, and
+foreign events are usually treated in a very prejudiced and perfunctory
+way. The Frenchman's enthusiasm for home politics does not leave him
+much emotion to spare for the rest of the world. Political life with him
+is always more or less in a state of turmoil. There is usually some
+scandalous _affaire_ afoot or impending, to which political import can
+easily be given. Many of the most talented editors, being members of the
+Chamber, import into their articles much of the heat and unreasoning
+vehemence engendered by the violence of direct debate. There has always
+been a feeling since the _great_ Revolution that _others_ might follow,
+and that one or other of the royal gentlemen of this or that
+disestablished race might, by some cyclone of popular or military
+sympathy, be blown back to power in Paris. Unluckily, there are far too
+many parties in France, far too many nicknames, badges, and shibboleths.
+The language of political discussion is bitter, and heated beyond
+anything the cooler Anglo-Saxon would tolerate. And yet, amid all such
+electric discharges of wordy rancour, the French nation goes on its way
+rejoicing, not a penny the worse, making wines, silks, and fashions, for
+an ungrateful world.
+
+There is now, and always has been, a strange sympathy between France and
+Scotland. A Scot learns French, as a rule, easily. One of the striking
+differences between dialect Scotch and book English is precisely the
+peculiar French ingredients in the former. For three hundred years the
+two countries were allies, and the advantages to England may be gathered
+from the remark of King Henry V. in Shakespeare's play--
+
+ "For you shall read that my great-grandfather
+ Never went with his forces into France,
+ But that the Scot on his unfurnished kingdom,
+ Came rolling like the tide into the breach."
+
+
+GIL BLAS.
+
+One French book that has solaced my leisure (in train, steamer, and
+trap), is that altogether delectable volume _Gil Blas_. It would be
+worth learning French to be able to read the book in the original. The
+characters are non-moral reprobates who lie, rob, and drink with the
+most unaffected sincerity. Vice loses all its grossness, and becomes
+intensely entertaining. The tone of the confessions is at once subtle
+and naive, tragic and trivial, comic and pathetic. The humour is
+absolutely colossal: many English books, alleged to be humorous, do not
+contain, in their entire bulk, as much humour as a single chapter of
+this great work. For brilliancy of style it stands very high, and few
+authors, either in France or elsewhere, have attained such admirable
+clearness, precision, and pith. Read _Gil Bias_, say I, if you wish to
+appreciate the possibilities of the French tongue, and taste all the
+delicate flavour of its racy idiom.
+
+
+ROMANCE AND AUGUSTANISM.
+
+There is a well-known text of Scripture, "In my father's house are many
+mansions" which, with a slight turn, might be applied to the House of
+Literature. There is room there for every pure and beautiful expression
+of human thought and emotion. Romance and Augustanism have both the
+right of entry.
+
+I am glad to see that Alexander Pope, the cleverest of our English
+bards, is still a popular favourite wherever I go. It would be a pity if
+this were not so, for he is head of the guild of Queen Anne wits, and
+no one of them can rival his instinctive delicacy, careful workmanship,
+and crystalline lucidity. His skill in the coining of impressive
+aphoristic couplets is unrivalled: it is almost as good as a novel
+addition to truth to find an old maxim supplied with the winged words of
+such a consummate verbal artist. Pope is a writer who appeals directly
+to all readers, for he never hides poverty of thought in a cloud of
+vague words.
+
+In Pope and his fellows we miss the lavish magnificence and unchartered
+freedom of the spacious times of great Elizabeth. Instead of Spenser's
+amazing luxuriance of matter and metre, we have a neat uniformity and
+trim array of couplets, which suggest the constant supervision of the
+pruning craftsman. Compared with the Elizabethans, Pope's time has less
+wealth but more careful mintage, less power but more husbanding of
+strength, fewer flights of imagination but finer flutterings of fancy,
+little humour but abundance of clear and sparkling wit. _It is not a
+difficult task, by means of suitable selections, to bring home to an
+audience of crofters the salient differences between the poetry of Pope
+and of Spenser._
+
+It is also easy to show to any audience that the quality which pleases
+to such a high degree in poems like the _Highland Lass_ and _Yarrow
+Revisited_, there is a romantic charm and thrilling magic which Pope
+never could produce. A line or two from one of the poems cited has a far
+more potent effect over the affections of the heart than the gorgeous
+declamatory rhetoric of _Eloisa and Abelard_. But it would be foolish
+to suppose that because Pope has not the passion for nature nor the glow
+of self-oblivious benevolence, he has not highly educative and estimable
+features. He should not be censured for what he never meant to supply:
+we should rather strive to cultivate catholicity of taste by extracting
+from his poems the information and enjoyment they are so well able to
+furnish.
+
+The Prologue of Pope's _Satires_ is, of course, the best introduction to
+a systematic study of the works of this writer. That poem is the
+masterpiece of Pope's volume, and exemplifies better than any other
+piece the striking and brilliant qualities for which he is so famous. In
+perusing it, the reader soon discovers that he is in presence of a work
+which is the result of incessant and prolonged labour, and which,
+consequently, deserves patient study. The works of a great technical
+artist require such elaborate treatment if the force of their genius is
+to be adequately felt.
+
+
+VICTORIAN WRITERS.
+
+If any man proposes to stay a month among scenery of hill, mountain, and
+lake, I should advise him to slip a copy of Wordsworth into his pocket,
+and read therefrom an hour daily; not hurrying over the pages, but
+turning aside, now and again, to take in the glory of pinewood, heather,
+and linn. In no volume, ancient or modern, can a tired man find such
+soft and genial balm for his weariness as in the calm pages of the Rydal
+singer. The poet is at his best in the broad region of natural religion.
+He looks round on the beauties of the world with that solemn awe a man
+feels in the hallowed precincts of a mediaeval temple. The grandeur and
+mystery of the world throw him into a kind of enchantment: his own soul
+and that of the universe touch and commune with each other. In his rapt
+verses we feel some of that mystic thrill felt by a devotee in the open
+sanctuary of the Almighty. No man ever interpreted Nature in such
+inspired strains as William Wordsworth. What supremely delights the
+lover of scenery is that this poet's muse can overwrap the exact and
+detailed knowledge of Nature with a superb mantle of idealistic glory.
+He saw and understood the harmony of Nature's forms and colours through
+all the seasons: at the quiet ingleside he meditated on what he had seen
+and heard, enshrined these in verse, and added to them the warmth of his
+own devout and sensitive soul. There is no exaggeration in Arnold's
+tribute:--
+
+ "He laid us, as we lay at birth,
+ On the cool, flowery lap of earth,
+ Smiles broke from us, and we had ease;
+ The hills were round us, and the breeze
+ Went o'er the sunlit fields again.
+ Our foreheads felt the wind and rain,
+ Our youth returned; for there was shed
+ On spirits that had long been dead--
+ Spirits dried up and closely furled--
+ The freshness of the early world."
+
+Of Wordsworth and his successor, Tennyson, it is impossible to speak
+save in terms of affectionate gratitude. God looked kindly on Britain
+when he sent two such men to minister to us. Tennyson did more than all
+the bishops of the Church of England to stifle crude infidelity and
+equally crude religious bigotry. There is not a single line he ever
+wrote of which in his last days he had need, from the point of view of
+truth and morality, to be ashamed. He increased the world's stock of
+happiness by poems which have been the solace of men and women in the
+hours of darkness and doubt, which have led men to rise to nobler things
+on the stepping-stones of their dead selves, and which, I am certain,
+his grateful fellow-countrymen will not willingly let die.
+
+It is not the least of Tennyson's claims to our gratitude that his
+genius was sensitive alike to the beauties of Celtic and of Anglo-Saxon
+verse. It would be difficult to overpraise his masterly rendering of the
+"Battle of Brunanburh," a vigorous old poem he found in the _Saxon
+Chronicle_. Equally fine is his "Voyage of Maeldune," founded on a
+Celtic legend of the seventh century. Those who wish to know what is
+meant by Celtic glamour should read the last-named poem without delay.
+
+
+CELT AND SAXON.
+
+Between the literatures of the Celt and the Saxon there are, indeed,
+well-marked differences. The Anglo-Saxons were a set of enterprising
+pirates, who drove their keels over the misty ocean, came to Britain and
+took forcible possession of it, dispersing or enslaving the original
+possessors. They left a literature which is, in many respects, highly
+interesting, but is in the main devoid of sunshine, humour, and
+sprightliness. The old poem of "Beowulf," with its rough and sturdy
+verses, all splashed with brine, contains very few figures of speech: it
+is a poem, but not markedly poetical; it is solid and impressive, but
+not beautiful. Now, no one can read Celtic poetry, even in translation,
+without being powerfully struck by its refined beauty and mystic
+romance. The metaphors and similes are somewhat too abundant. The
+typical Anglo-Saxon has a firm grip of the world, but is not poetical
+enough; the Celt, on the other hand, is probably too much of a dreamer
+and a poet--he sits on the hill-side (forgetting sometimes to till it)
+and muses on fairies, second-sight, and enchantments. St. Paul used the
+right word in speaking to the old world Gaels, _i.e._, Galatians: "O
+foolish Galatians, who hath _bewitched_ you?" ([Greek: tis humas
+ebaskane?])
+
+Combine these two races in the right proportion, and you get an
+admirable blend. It is not for me to say where the just man made perfect
+is to be found, the man in whom the elements--practical and
+poetical--are mixed in such exquisite proportion, that Nature might
+stand up and say, "_There is a man_." What is certain, is that there is
+a very pronounced strain of Celtic blood coursing through the veins of
+the average Scotch Lowlander. Few Scots have to rummage far among their
+ancestry before they find a piece of tartan: such mixture of genealogy
+probably accounts for much that is best in their composition.
+
+The supposition that the Scotch race-combination is Celt and Saxon, and
+only that, is of course erroneous. There is a very marked Scandinavian
+element both in the east and the west of the country. In the year 1600
+A.D., the Norse tongue was spoken all over the Long Island from the Butt
+of Lewis to Barra. Certainly, in Lewis and Skye, an enormous number of
+the place-names are Scandinavian, and date from a time when the
+sea-kings had dominion over the islands of the West. Many fascinating
+problems of ethnology continue to occupy the attention of investigators,
+and are not likely to be settled for a long time to come. One thing is
+abundantly clear, viz., that purity of race and speech does not exist in
+any county of Scotland: everywhere there is a mixture of blood and
+language.[16]
+
+ [16] Mr. Tocher, a Peterhead gentleman, has adopted a special
+ line of investigation. He has sent out schedules to every school
+ in Scotland asking for detailed information as to the colour of
+ the eyes and hair of the boys and girls. His desire is to
+ connect _pigmentation_ and race-origin. He believes it is still
+ possible to get definite information, by such means, of the
+ settlement and blending of Picts, Celts, Norsemen, and
+ Anglo-Saxons.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+ECCLESIASTICAL.
+
+ Sectarian feeling--Typical anecdotes--Music and
+ religion--Ethical teaching in schools--The Moderates--A savoury
+ book--The Sabbath--"The Men of Skye"--The auldest kirk--The
+ Episcopal Church--An interlude of metre--The Christian
+ Brethren--Drimnin in Morven--Craignish--A model
+ minister--Ministerial trials in olden times--An artful
+ dodger--Some anecdotes from Gigha--Growing popularity of Ruskin.
+
+
+SECTARIAN FEELING.
+
+In a small country township, all the influences that operate to divide
+men into sects and parties are keenly and continuously felt. To a
+dweller there, it is well-nigh impossible to keep out of the arena of
+strife. Now that there is so much confusion and division in religious
+matters, strong feeling is more easily stirred on any secular subject
+that may happen to arise for discussion. If the Wee Frees, for example,
+desire a new road in a certain direction, the United Frees will probably
+deride the scheme and unanimously petition against it. Their antipathy
+to each other becomes envenomed by their persistent proximity: if you
+are a villager, you cannot get away from your adversary--in the morning,
+when looking out of the window, you see him tilling his croft, mending
+his nets, or washing his face in a tub at his front door. The fact that
+he is there is an obstacle to your peace of mind. If you did not see
+him so often, you would more readily come to believe that he possessed a
+conscience and some shred of principle and decent doctrine.
+
+In a distant seaside town a library had been procured, and (though
+doctrine was not at stake at all) a most virulent debate at once arose
+as to where it should be housed. The United Frees voted for the school;
+the Wee Frees called aloud for the post-office. It would require the pen
+of Dean Swift (who did such justice to the strife between the
+Big-Endians and Little-Endians) to recount in appropriate style the
+intrigues and stratagems of the rival religionists. The local teacher
+did not wish the books in school _because_ the proposal came from the
+enemy. He was powerfully supported by all the young fellows of the
+place, whose reverence for him, born of recent severe whackings, was
+limitless. This teacher had an eloquent and vitriolic tongue, and
+delivered himself thus: "What have I not done for the island? What have
+these reprobates ever done? Who was it that got the frequent Macbrayne
+connection with the mainland? _I did._ Who got up the concert to buy
+seats for visitors coming north from Glasgow? And yet for every blessing
+I give them, I get ten curses. _But I'll choke them yet._" It was
+needless for the United Frees to demand a plebiscite--or, as they called
+it, a _ple-biscuit_--the dominie was too forceful, persistent, and
+phraseful for them, and at the public meeting he laughed down a teetotal
+opponent by singing out: "Sit down on your seat, man; _it's the drink
+that's speaking, no' you!_"
+
+No matter what the subject may be, there is usually a smack of
+ecclesiasticism in the ordinary give-and-take of conversation. I cannot
+illustrate this better than by giving the Lewis man's reply to an
+enquiry as to _how his wooden leg was behaving_. The enquirer was a
+newly-elected United Free elder, while he of the timber toes was a
+staunch Disruptionist. "Well," said the latter, "my wooden leg is not
+unlike a U. F. elder; it's not exactly perfection, but, considering
+everything, we must just be putting up with what we can get." This was
+said at a time when the Wee Frees were in a big majority in certain
+parts of the Highlands, and when, as a consequence, United Free elders
+had to be selected out of diminished congregations.
+
+
+TYPICAL ANECDOTES.
+
+The venerable Lord Halsbury, so well known for his judgment in the great
+Church case, resided, shortly after the decision, in the neighbourhood
+of Forres. Men plucked each other by the sleeve as he passed along the
+street, and pointed with awe to the keen-witted lawyer who had caused
+such a kick-up in the realm. His most innocent doings were watched. One
+day he went into a book-shop and made a purchase. When he came out, in
+rushed a brace of theologians to enquire what he had bought. It turned
+out that he had purchased a copy of _Comic Cuts_. The news was all round
+Forres in an hour's time, and caused much consternation. "What great men
+do, the less will prattle of," and it is so difficult for the former to
+act up to their heroic role.
+
+How thoroughly our dear native land has enjoyed its theological battles!
+Will there ever be a truce to the long wars of faith? One cannot see
+much ground for a too sanguine hope. After a library had been given to a
+little village in the West, I paid the usual visit to the place, and
+requested a free expression of views as to the suitability of the books
+that had been given. One venerable old native, with eyes of fire, called
+out: "_This Paisley Library has one fatal lack: it contains no works on
+controversial divinity._" I ventured to hint that perhaps the omission
+was intentional, but that he absolutely refused to believe.
+
+Coming through the Sound of Mull one blustery November day, I heard a
+most animated discussion on the question "Has the Deity unlimited Free
+Will?" The disputants had all the appearance of sensible crofters--they
+certainly talked more intelligibly than most commentators on Kant. Some
+of the ship's crew joined in the talk in such a way as to show that they
+understood perfectly well the question at issue. Every member of the
+ring was wet (the rain was coming down in torrents during the whole
+argument), but neither "Ayes" nor "Noes" would admit defeat. When the
+boat touched the terminus of Tobermory, much still remained to be said,
+and the amateur theologians retired to sum up in a local bar-room. The
+incident is characteristic, and could have happened in no other country
+but Scotland. Presbyterianism has made the Scot somewhat too
+disputatious, but it is surely better to see a man interested in
+religion than in nothing at all.
+
+Talking of the union of the Free and U.P. Churches, I am reminded of a
+laughable tale told of a Hebridean minister. "Themselves and their
+Union, I say, themselves and their Union," he remarked; "I will have
+nothing to do with it. I was born Free, ordained Free; I have lived
+Free, and I will die Free." "But what about the stipend, Angus?" said
+his wife, douce and cautious woman. "Ah, the stipend! Well, if I lose my
+stipend, you will have to put on a short petticoat, strap a creel on
+your back, and sell _fush_." "And what will you do, Angus, when I'm away
+selling _fush_?" "Oh, I will stay at home and pray for a blessing on
+your efforts."
+
+The use of Scriptural expressions undoubtedly gives great force to the
+language of every-day life. As is well known, certain classes in cookery
+have recently been established in a few northern villages. A Highland
+minister, in publicly commending these classes, remarked, with a rueful
+grimace: "I _do_ wish such classes as these had been in existence when
+my wife was young; for, as it is, every dinner she serves up to me is
+either a _burnt offering or a bloody sacrifice_!"
+
+The following story comes from a minister in the neighbourhood of Loch
+Awe. "A clergyman of my acquaintance was stationed in a poor parish near
+my own, and he called on the local laird for financial aid to help on
+some of the church schemes. This laird was a well-known philanthropist,
+but the call was made at the wrong psychological moment, for he chanced
+on this particular day to be in a very bad humour. He listened to the
+minister with great impatience, and at last, bounding to his feet and
+pointing to the door, he shouted: 'Silver and gold have I none, but such
+as I have, give I unto thee: in the name of Beelzebub, rise and
+_walk_!'"
+
+It was my unfortunate experience to witness a great amount of sectarian
+strife in the north and west during my various visits. Sometimes my
+prospective chairman was unable to preside, owing to his having taken
+part in a doctrinal scuffle, and having his coat torn, and his church
+captured. These fantastic doings are in no way edifying, and are
+extremely shocking to our national pride.
+
+Theologically, many districts of the Highlands have not advanced beyond
+the stage occupied by Lowland Scotland in the time of Burns. In certain
+parishes, the communion is dispensed in the open air, in the way
+familiar to readers of the "Holy Fair." Sky overhead, grassy turf
+beneath, solemnity, sobs, and sighs all around, certainly make up a most
+impressive whole. The sermon is unmercifully long--two hours, at least:
+probably, if translated into English, and shorn of repetitions, it could
+be given in one-fourth of the time. If you or I, dear Lowlander, should
+stand on the outside of the crowd, and appear more curious than devout,
+we should certainly be alluded to in the sermon as _those wicked
+people_. The discourses are no gilt-edged harangues dealing with the
+"larger hope," and larded with quotations from Tennyson and Browning.
+They are, on the contrary, full of Tartarean sulphur and strange fire,
+and rich in grotesque illustrations, of which this is a sample: "My
+friends, crowds of loathsome fiends are sent by the Prince of the Power
+of the Air to tempt us to our destruction. They hang over us waiting for
+their opportunity, just like a regiment of black crows hovering over a
+potato-field."
+
+I am afraid that crude Calvinism, as preached in certain parts of the
+north, is nothing less than monstrous. The good God, beneficent Father
+of us all, is unrecognizable when eternal reprobation is represented as
+the inevitable fate of the vast majority of His children. In time, no
+doubt (and the sooner the better), the results of modern theological
+thought will penetrate into the uttermost nooks of the land.
+
+
+MUSIC AND RELIGION.
+
+It is not easy to see why religion should be associated with gloom and
+disheartening ugliness. The long-drawn music of an Old Testament psalm
+is not without a certain doleful impressiveness, but the human soul
+needs occasional stimulus, even on Sundays, of something less
+lugubrious. Certain congregations hate hymns: they consider them carnal
+and uninspired. As for organ-music in a church, that would be _praising
+God by machinery_, a preposterous and intolerable approximation to
+Popery. Not long ago, a poor crofter in a Hebridean township, came to
+his minister, requesting that good man's offices for the christening of
+a child. The crofter in question was the possessor of an asthmatic old
+concertina, and the clergyman, before the rite of admission to the
+visible church could be performed, insisted on the annihilation of the
+ungodly instrument of music. The minister, in person, visited the croft,
+and disabled the concertina with a hammer. The child was then
+christened, and the clerical zany strode off victorious, feeling he had
+done a good day's work for Heaven. "Who ever heard of the Apostle Paul
+playing on an organ?" was the question once propounded by Dr. Begg. The
+argument was a splendid _reductio ad absurdum_, and resembles the old
+reason for the reluctance of the peasantry to eat potatoes, because no
+mention was made of them in Holy Writ. But songs and music are filtering
+into the glens, in an official way, by the agency of the Scotch
+Education Department. Musical drill is a feature of the school-room, and
+it is a joy to think that such is the case. Some of the old folk,
+however, look on astounded and shocked; they shake their heads, and
+would, if they could, abolish such frivolity. "Why all this singing and
+tramping?" said a Skyeman to me once. "What good will all the songs of
+the world do to a man when he comes to his death-bed? I would rather,
+this very moment, sit down in a public-house, and drink till I was
+intoxicated, than screech and howl these worldly airs." Life was not so
+absurd in the days of the Catholic ascendency. But human nature is
+slowly asserting itself, and the days of the glum tyrannical zealot are
+assuredly numbered.
+
+
+ETHICAL TEACHING IN SCHOOLS.
+
+In some districts of the North, the inspectors have considerable trouble
+with certain teachers of the devout type who, from conscientious
+scruples, refuse to read to the children anything in the nature of a
+fairy tale. While examining a class in a remote Sutherland school, an
+inspector requested the schoolmaster to narrate to the children, in
+Gaelic, the story of Little Red Riding Hood, and get them thereafter to
+put it into English. But the teacher most emphatically refused: "No, no,
+I cannot do that: it is all a lie; wolves do not speak; _no animal
+speaks_." The inspector, to refute him, unwisely alluded to the
+Scripture account of Balaam's ass in the twenty-second chapter of
+Numbers; whereupon, the dominie nearly swooned at the impiety of
+comparing that inspired animal with a secular beast like Grimm's wolf.
+For some time after, the inspector was bombarded with anonymous letters,
+accusing him of habitually _sitting in the scorner's chair_. He was
+terrified lest some Member of Parliament, eager for a grievance, should
+be got to move the adjournment of the House of Commons, with the
+righteous object of directing the attention of Government to Little Red
+Riding Hood and the naughty inspector of schools.[17]
+
+The question of religious teaching in schools is capable of an easy
+solution, and we in the south have come pretty near solving it. The best
+solution is to have no dogma at all in the school-room. The Catechism
+and Prayer-book are excellent in their way, but the school is no place
+for them. We have a very complete and extensive organisation of churches
+in the land, and an army of officials ordained to teach doctrines and
+tenets: let them take up the inculcation of creeds and rites, but don't
+let us perplex the school children with catechisms and metaphysical
+definitions. It is easy to make a distinction between morality and
+doctrine--a distinction which is alike clear and reasonable. Morality is
+an earthly and secular affair, and has to do with matters of elementary
+honesty such as every responsible citizen of a free country ought to
+practice. Religion is a higher affair, dealing with our relationship to
+the unseen: it is outside the province of the teacher, and should not be
+thrust into the school programme along with history and geography and
+grammar. Morality is of this world: religion of the next. Let everything
+be kept in its proper place. As to that division of duty which deals
+with right conduct, there is no controversy whatever. _Thou shalt not
+steal_; _thou shalt not bear false witness_--these, and the like
+elementary rules of conduct, are universally admitted to be right, for
+they are the groundwork of society. Take these away, and the world
+lapses into chaos. The following virtues are capable of being taught in
+schools:--(1) a strict adherence to the truth; (2) the application of
+the golden rule; (3) cheerful obedience at the call of duty; (4)
+reverence and respect for everything noble and great in the history of
+the world. These can all be taught, and are actually taught, by every
+conscientious teacher in the country. They constitute not the whole of
+duty, indeed, but the most difficult part of it--certainly all that need
+come into the realm of pedagogy.
+
+ [17] How differently the items in the Sacred Canon are regarded
+ in scholastic circles in the South! A Glasgow teacher, discussing
+ the Origin of Evil with a Government official, expressed great
+ resentment at the loss of paradise through Adam's sin, and added:
+ "It comes specially hard on me, seeing that I don't care a
+ _docken_ for apples."
+
+
+THE MODERATES.
+
+_Ami lecteur_, have you ever heard of the _Moderates_? If, by chance,
+you have dipped into the interminable controversies that gyrated round
+the Disruption year, it is probable you may have heard more than enough
+of them. One gets the impression that they were an unimpassioned,
+easy-going, anti-brimstone, but highly estimable body of men. They were
+blamed for preaching morality and not the penetrating mysteries of the
+faith. In "The Holy Fair," Burns gives us an inimitable picture of the
+moral philosopher in the pulpit:--
+
+ "But hark! the tent has changed its voice,
+ There's peace an' rest nae langer,
+ For a' the real judges rise--
+ They canna sit for anger.
+ Smith opens out his cauld harangues
+ On practice and on morals,
+ An' aff the godly pour in thrangs
+ To gie the jars an' barrels
+ A lift that day.
+
+ "What signifies his barren shine
+ Of moral powers an' reason?
+ His English style and gesture fine
+ Are a' clean out o' season.
+ Like Socrates or Antonine,
+ Or some auld pagan heathen,
+ The moral man he does define,
+ But ne'er a word o' faith in
+ That's richt that day."
+
+I confess to a certain liking for Smith. He knew what was good for the
+Holy Willies and the other "chosen samples" and "swatches o' grace" in
+his auditory. Like a sensible man, and like the Apostle James, he laid
+more stress on "practice and on morals" than on lip-worship and faith.
+"Faith without works is dead" is a dictum that needs to be incessantly
+emphasised, and nowhere more than in certain ultra-orthodox localities
+of Scotland at the present day.
+
+The Established Church is, with few exceptions, a negligible
+denomination in the Hebrides. For some reason it is regarded as the
+modern representative of the Moderate or Broad type of Calvinistic
+Christianity, and, as such, an abomination to the zealots. To show what
+a poor hold the Establishment has in Lewis, it is enough to remark that
+there are in that island only 183 Auld Kirk communicants out of a
+population of 32,947. Figures almost equally striking could be given for
+the Presbyteries of Uist, Skye, and Glenelg. The chief occupation of
+some parish ministers in insular Scotland must be that of killing time.
+I once met one of these reverend gentlemen in one of the hotels in
+Stornoway. He seemed to take a pleasure in running contrary to all the
+darling prejudices of the islanders. Dancing he approved of; he did not
+believe in prefacing his prayer or homily with a sanctimonious whine;
+and he actually was willing to admit that a few Catholics might get to
+heaven. An equally glaring fault--in the eyes of bigotry, I mean--was
+that he _dropped into poetry_ at stated times, and sent his Gaelic
+verses to one of the Highland newspapers. The Parish Church buildings,
+in many localities of the West Highlands, are in a woeful state of
+disrepair. They have a prevailing odour of must and damp; the seats are
+hard deal, unkind to the human anatomy; doors and windows rattle and
+shake during the service; creeping things move along the walls;
+sometimes the floors are nothing but the uneven and unconcealed Scottish
+earth. In such churches, there is some credit in being devout.
+
+
+A SAVOURY BOOK.
+
+An outstanding member of the clan Macdonald, for some time minister at
+Applecross, deserves a cordial vote of thanks for a savoury book he has
+written on the social and religious condition of the Highlands. He is
+not a bit scared by the Darwinian theory of evolution. "We have a good
+deal in common," he says, "with the brute creation, and have no cause to
+feel ourselves degraded on that account. The lower animals, not
+excluding the much-despised monkey, are specimens of divine workmanship
+which _reflect the highest honour on the skill and power of the Maker_."
+Could any admission be more handsome or candid than that?
+
+I have learned a great deal from Mr. Macdonald's cheery and broad-minded
+volume. He is strong in history, and has had, it would seem, access to
+information that is closed to the general eye. There is a glorious
+simplicity in his views on Caledonian ethnology. A roguish prince,
+Gathelus, son of the king of Greece, migrated to Egypt, and married
+Scota, daughter of that Pharaoh who persecuted the Israelites. The
+various plagues "that o'er the realm of impious Pharaoh hung," terrified
+Gathelus, and he flitted in hot haste to Spain, and called his followers
+Scots, to please his wife. Later in life, he sent his son Hiber to
+Ireland, where the lad settled, and named the island after his noble
+self, Hibernia. Scots continued to pour into Ireland, _via_ the Bay of
+Biscay, and finally, under Simon Brek, subdued the entire extent of the
+Green Island. In 360 A.D., they came over to Argyllshire, and aided the
+indigenous Picts (who were also Celts) against the legions of Rome. This
+is so compact and clear an account, that I wish it were true. The way in
+which sacred and profane history are blended strikes me as singularly
+able.
+
+Mr. Macdonald has an intimate knowledge of Celtic superstitions, and
+always castigates the right thing. Certain diseases of the brain were,
+till quite recently, believed to be curable if the afflicted man could
+procure a suicide's skull and take a drink out of it. Mr. Macdonald
+rightly dwells upon the absurdity of such a specific, but confesses that
+one might as well try to "bale out the Atlantic" as eradicate the
+foolish pagan notions that still linger in the glens.
+
+Ministers have a great deal of captious criticism to stand, if we may
+judge by Mr. Macdonald's anecdotes. They are blamed for terminating
+their discourses _with a silver tail_ (_i.e._, intimating a special
+collection). The sermon itself is not immune from cruel jests, as the
+following report of a parishioner's criticism will show: "A minister is
+like a joiner. The joiner takes a piece of wood and shapes it roughly
+with the axe. Then he applies his rough plane, and smooths it down a
+bit. After that, he takes his fine plane; and, lastly, he rubs it with
+sandpaper, and finishes it with polish till he makes it appear like
+glass. And so with the minister: he works his sermon, from sheet to
+sheet, with pen and ink, till he makes it at last so smooth _that a
+flea could not stand on it_."[18]
+
+ [18] Ministers, being public men, are, of course, as Mr.
+ Macdonald means to point out, exposed to the criticism,
+ frequently so absurd, that eminence entails. I recently examined
+ the bye-laws of a literary association in Ross-shire, of which
+ the president is a sheep-farmer, and the secretary, a postman. It
+ is a rule of this association that no minister is ever to be
+ president, the reason assigned being that ministers would try to
+ elevate the natives _too hurriedly_. The people do not object to
+ be elevated, but they wish the process to be performed without
+ unnecessary haste.
+
+
+THE SABBATH.
+
+I was not a little surprised during my attendance at Highland churches
+to hear the ministers devoting much strong rhetoric to the sin of
+Sabbath-breaking. Taking the air on the first day of the week for quiet
+meditation and the good of one's health, has always seemed to me a
+laudable practice, but in many Highland parishes, a Sunday stroll
+implies ungodliness, even although the stroller may have attended one or
+more diets of worship earlier in the day. Such a state of matters is
+preposterously absurd, and, to my thinking, quite irreligious--it at
+least tends to make hypocrites. Some years ago, I spent a week in a
+typical insular village, lodging in the local inn. It was noticeable
+that on Sundays, the front blinds of the house were never drawn up. When
+the church-bells tolled the hour for public worship, the solemn devotees
+could be seen (through holes in the blind) pacing along, looking fixedly
+at the toes of their boots. The landlord of the house thought it no sin
+to observe the passers-by, so long as he could do so in a clandestine
+way. He had no desire to mend the blind.
+
+The restfulness and peace of a British Sunday is a blessed thing, as
+every Briton who has been long resident abroad, will readily admit.
+There is, however, a reasonable medium to be found between the unnatural
+Calvinistic Sabbath (with its limited view of the world through a torn
+blind) and the Continental Sunday, gay with skipping and junketing.
+Within recent years, to some extent owing to the bicycle and motor-car,
+the Sabbath has become rather too animated and bustling. The change is
+perhaps not entirely regrettable. The terrible Sunday dulness of some of
+our large towns has been, of late years, rendered less oppressive by the
+opening of museums and art galleries. I heard a man of fifty confess
+that in his boyhood he prayed fervently once, and only once, a week: the
+prayer in question was said on Sunday evening, and consisted of a
+heartfelt ejaculation of thanks to Heaven that the holy day was over for
+another week.
+
+Church-going is a splendid and salutary practice, and every man who does
+not base his life on some religious sanction, is leading a mutilated
+life. There is such a thing, however, as ecclesiastical dyspepsia, a
+disease engendered by forced attendance at too many religious services
+when one is young. The disease is unfortunately apt to develop in mature
+years, into complete indifference to doctrine of all kinds.
+
+After all, doctrine is largely useful as a mental exercise, and may
+easily become divorced from practical honesty. Not once but fifty times
+have I been told that the village experts in theology were precisely the
+men who needed most watching in mundane matters. "So-and-so is a
+specialist on the millennium: _beware of him_." "Old Duncan is the
+strictest Sabbatarian in the island, but on Monday he's worth keeping an
+eye on." "Many a man that keeps the fourth commandment is not so
+particular about the others." Such are the phrases one is perpetually
+hearing, and they go far to prove how inoperative are ritual,
+profession, and form, in the life of some Christians.
+
+To keep the ten commandments, or rather, I should say, the eleven, is no
+easy matter for either Celt or Saxon. It is far easier to be
+ostentatiously religious than scrupulously moral, to say prayers than to
+pay debts, to split hairs of doctrine than to love your enemies. I never
+read a more markedly scriptural book than _The Men of Skye_, nor one
+that displays such intolerance to the school of Laodiceans. I am not
+insensible to the intense enthusiasm of the author for the memory of the
+illiterate catechists who went round the island preaching to the people
+in a homely and graphic way. The unlovely feature of the book is the
+antagonism displayed towards those who wish to bring about a union of
+the Presbyterian bodies. "Not all the cement outside of heaven," one man
+says, "could bring about a union of the Free and U.P. Churches." The
+Declaratory Act, secular teaching in schools, instrumental music, and
+such like, all come in for severe treatment or ironical reference.
+
+
+_THE MEN OF SKYE._
+
+The book to which I have referred (_The Men of Skye_) gives a wonderful
+insight into the religious psychology of the Celtic zealot. It was in
+Portree that I first got a look at the little work, which consists of a
+series of biographies of outstanding lay preachers. I enjoyed the
+perusal of it immensely, and I am afraid the pious author will regard me
+as little better than one of the wicked when I say that I had many a
+hearty laugh at its contents. I am very unwilling to seek gaiety in
+pious books, very averse to laugh at honest, heart-felt beliefs, but the
+author of _The Men of Skye_ was too many for me. His quaint metaphors,
+droll tenses and unlicensed syntax, were a perpetual feast of nectared
+sweets.
+
+The language in which the book is written is not Gaelic, though it has
+not quite reached the stage of English. The following extract is a
+typical one: "John Mackenzie lived at Galtrigil, was a God-fearing man,
+and professed religion, and his conduct was worthy of his profession,
+consistent in all its parts. He was employed as fishcurer to Dr. Martin.
+When he would be busy in the store, on the shore, his wife would go down
+with his food. He had a large heap of salt beside him, but he was so
+scrupulously conscientious that when she took down an egg, she would
+need also to bring from his own house the grain of salt he would put in
+it. He would not take so much as a grain of salt that was not his own.
+He was careful about what belonged to the cause of Christ, and would
+like to know that those who took up a profession of religion had
+undergone what he termed a _clean conversion_."
+
+Some of the stories told of Angus Macleod, are altogether unique: "He
+was one day entrusted with the herding of the minister's cattle, but
+while he prayed, the cattle made their way into the corn. The minister
+came out and began to advise and rebuke him, but Angus said, 'Let the
+righteous smite me, it shall be a kindness; and let him reprove me, it
+shall be an excellent oil which shall not break my head.'" (Psalm cxli.
+5.) I consider that story and the two which follow quite equal, in their
+diverting pointlessness, to any of those told by Cicero in _De Oratore_,
+Book ii. At one time it was thought advisable to teach Angus how to
+read, but he never could be got to master the alphabet. He would utter
+aloud the following reflections: "_A_ _b_, _ab_: Ah! that is but dry.
+There is no food there for my soul. There is no word about Christ or God
+there, no word about forgiveness of sin. I would rather be at the back
+of a dyke where I would get a moment of the presence of the Lord." As
+Angus usually replied to his associates by a text of Scripture, he must
+have had a good ear for Holy Writ. "His father was one day repairing a
+dyke. Angus tried to assist him and broke the spade. His father's temper
+was roused, and he ran after his son to punish him. Angus ran away
+calling out, 'Oh, Lord, avenge me of mine adversary.'" On one occasion,
+when asked why he had refused to pray in public, he replied that it was
+out of his power to do so at the time. "Why," said his interlocutor,
+"Jonah was able to pray even in the whale's belly." "Yes, yes," said
+Angus, "but I was in a worse state than Jonah: for the whale was in my
+belly."
+
+It may not be unnecessary to state that the word Men in the title of the
+book is to be understood as meaning "men of exceptional piety." The word
+is a technical one in that sense. All the _men_ I have read about were
+fervid Frees, many of them being elders and catechists in that body.
+After the Disruption, there was a wonderful crop of these men produced
+in the Highlands, and through their means, _religion became a very real
+and forcible affair_. Their attitude to life and general outlook on the
+world are quite unlike anything to be found among the luke-warm
+believers of the Laodicean South. We read of one zealot devoting a whole
+winter to the task of combating shinty and tobacco. It is impossible to
+withhold some measure of admiration from Christians so staunch, logical,
+and uncompromising. _Logical?_ Well, here at least is a gem of
+ratiocination. What, for example, was the cause that forced so many
+Skyemen to emigrate to the Canadian plains and the Australian bush? The
+fathers of Skye believed that the crofters, having insufficiently
+appreciated the unique opportunities of divine worship at home, were
+driven by a wrathful deity over the water to a land where there were
+_few or no Presbyterian Churches_.
+
+
+THE AULDEST KIRK.
+
+There are some parts of Scotland that the Reformation seems never to
+have reached. I have been told that up till this day no Protestant
+minister ever preached in Morar (the delightful spot, with lake of same
+name, near Mallaig), and that in consequence Catholics call it "Blessed
+Morar" (_Morar Bheanaichte_). There is a Catholic strip of country,
+extending right through the heart of Scotland, along the Caledonian
+Canal; aristocrats, chiefs, and crofters there boast that their
+ecclesiastical history goes back, uncontaminated by schisms and private
+judgment, right to the time of Ninian and Columba.
+
+It appears evident that the iconoclastic Parliament of 1560, which made
+it unlawful to obey the Pope or say mass, pretty effectually paralysed
+the Catholic Church in the land. Only in secluded districts, such as
+Uist, Barra, Morar, Arisaig, and Glengarry, were the faithful safe from
+prosecution. The organisation of the Church was maimed and broken, and
+hundreds of priests took to flight. To use the cruel words of Milton--
+
+ "Then might ye see
+ Cowls, hoods, and habits, with their wearers, tossed
+ And fluttered into rags; then relics, beads,
+ Indulgences, dispenses, pardons, bulls--
+ The sport of winds."
+
+Having visited a fair number of Catholic districts in the West of
+Scotland, I have given myself the pleasure of reading, as far as is
+available, the historical records of the Pope's faithful adherents
+there. _These are most interesting as showing the pertinacity of
+religious faith among the most hostile surroundings._ The Scots College
+at Rome, founded by Clement VIII., supplied a large number of priests,
+who spread themselves abroad in the glens, and kept the old faith from
+completely perishing. The Roman Catholic College at Scanlan, on the
+Braes of Glenlivet, was a turf-built erection, dating from 1712. It was
+often compulsorily closed and the students dispersed. The most important
+school for priests in the West was at Buorblach, near Morar. Here the
+aspirants for priesthood studied for a year or two, after which they
+proceeded to some one of the Scots colleges abroad--such as Paris,
+Ratisbon, Valladolid, or Rome. Those students who received the whole of
+their instruction at home, and got ordained without going abroad, were
+styled _heather priests_.
+
+The best-known Catholic township of the West Highlands at the present
+time is undoubtedly Arisaig, a charming spot, where the mild air allows
+the wild flowers to spring in profusion and where the fuchsia thrives
+better than anywhere else in Scotland. There is a strikingly elegant
+Catholic Church here, built on a commanding site that dominates the bay.
+In September, 1904, I addressed a meeting in the Astley Hall of Arisaig,
+under the genial chairmanship of the Clerk of the House of Commons. The
+audience was overwhelmingly Catholic, and it was quite evident that all
+were keenly appreciative of the library that had recently been sent to
+the district. It gave me no ordinary pleasure to note that the literary
+society of the place was made up of both Catholics and Protestants, and
+that all the inhabitants, forgetting their religious differences, could
+assemble together as friends on the common meeting-ground of literature.
+Such an amalgamation is bound to mitigate the sectarian rancour that
+too often works like a pestilence in small villages and rural
+communities. It is an excellent feature, too, in such places as Arisaig,
+that the local priest gives every encouragement to his people to read
+and study secular books of an elevating character. It would be strange
+indeed if the representative of a Church which in mediaeval times gave
+such splendid encouragement to art and letters, should deem it a duty to
+prohibit his people from availing themselves of the means of culture.
+
+It undoubtedly comes as a surprise to a Lowlander, who is prone to think
+that every born Scot is necessarily a born Protestant, to find in remote
+nooks of his native country, home-grown specimens of the faith that was
+once prevalent everywhere. He has to sit down and muse on the hillside
+over the matter, and, if he is imaginative, he will see by fancy's eye
+the skiff of St. Columba breasting the breakers on its way from Ireland
+to Iona.
+
+
+THE EPISCOPAL CHURCH.
+
+Of all the Churches or sects in Scotland, probably the most remarkable
+is the Episcopalian. Many Englishmen settle in the Lowlands for purposes
+of trade, and, in most cases, bring their religion with them. Such
+immigration explains the numerous Episcopal chapels in the towns of
+southern Scotland. But no such cause can explain the presence of scores
+of small Episcopal congregations in the rural districts of Aberdeen and
+Banff. These have not been imported from over the Border, but in reality
+have a long history behind them. Many of them date from the sixteenth
+and seventeenth centuries. The Stuart kings never liked Presbyterianism,
+and James I. tried to make the Scotch Church as like the English one as
+possible: in 1610, indeed, he managed to bring about the consecration of
+a certain number of Scotch bishops. The Episcopalians in the North
+showed a warm affection for the Stuarts during the distresses of that
+royal house, and such Jacobitism did the scattered congregations a deal
+of harm. The number of Episcopal chapels throughout the land is fairly
+high, but the total of the communicants is relatively small. The clergy
+are a most estimable and cultured body of men, and perform their duties,
+which are often very laborious, in an eminently exemplary fashion. Their
+stipends are ridiculously poor, and the scene of their labours is
+frequently the reverse of lively. Very often, in the bleak moors and
+glens of north-east Scotland, I have spent pleasant and memorable
+evenings in the village rectory. The modes of speech and general
+atmosphere of a Scotch rectory differ piquantly from those of the manse.
+It is certain that a clergyman who is in constant touch with the
+Anglican ritual, develops a special turn of talk and a characteristic
+set of mannerisms.
+
+I am convinced that, in learning and culture, the Episcopal clergy
+compare very favourably with those of the other Churches. Some of them
+have written, both in the departments of theology and general
+literature, works of outstanding and permanent value. In spite of all
+that, however, it does not seem probable that they will make many
+converts to their creed. Presbyterianism has a firm grip on the
+country: symbol and ritual do not thrive well in the cold air of the
+North. Once upon a time, in the Black Isle, as the records of the
+Arpafeelie Episcopal Church show, there was a strong feeling of
+antagonism to Presbyterianism; but that was in 1711, and was probably
+more political than religious.
+
+It is a well-known fact that a large proportion of the aristocracy and
+landed-gentry of Scotland are Episcopalians. This is due, not so much to
+the leisure they have for studying theological problems, as to the fact
+that most of them have been educated in English public schools.
+
+How pleasant it is to contemplate the broad-mindedness of the greatest
+of our Scotch Episcopalians, Sir Walter Scott, as seen in the
+thirty-seventh chapter of _Guy Mannering_! Speaking of religious
+differences, he makes Pleydell say: "_A plain man may go to heaven
+without thinking about them at all_." Even at the present day, there is
+a most regrettable lack of such urbanity in the disputes of educated
+theologians. I picked up a book not long since, which amused as well as
+shocked me greatly. It purported to be a history of _the_ Church in
+Scotland. The author was a facetious Episcopalian, for his history made
+no mention of either the Free, the Established, or the United
+Presbyterian denominations. The Episcopal sect alone had the honour of
+being dubbed a Church. Now, if a writer ever took it on him to write a
+history of the Church in England, he ought to devote space to _all_ the
+bodies, and be careful not to omit mention even of the Plymouth
+Brethren. I rather think that the Plymouth Brethren should have the
+lengthiest treatment of all, seeing that no shred of the Church
+resembles so closely the original type of Christianity.
+
+
+AN INTERLUDE OF METRE.
+
+I have often endeavoured to fix discourses from the Highland pulpits by
+embodying in metre (I do not say poetry) the leading thought or most
+striking illustration that I carried away. For the sake of variety and
+to prevent this chapter from appearing too frivolous, I, at this point,
+give one or two "moderate" sermons in little.
+
+
+I.
+
+ When heavy-laden Christian, panting sore,
+ Had gained the home of the Interpreter,
+ He saw a sorry fellow with great stir
+ Ply a vile muck-rake on a filthy floor;
+ And the more mire the churl raked, the more
+ He smiled, although a winged messenger
+ Floating aloft was eager to confer
+ On him the crown that in her hands she bore.
+ So is it with those fools that waste their days
+ In raking stores of dross and minted gear,
+ Oblivious of the crown of deathless rays
+ That God is offering freely to them here.
+ Miser! your stay on earth is short indeed,
+ Renounce the dross and choose the heavenly meed.
+
+
+II.
+
+ He that is wise will not in haste decide,
+ But look and think before believing aught;
+ Then, having long reflected, will confide
+ To no breast but his own his finished thought,
+ Until experience warrants every jot.
+ Man! Suffer not thy soul to yield to pride
+ Of intellect. Small is thy mortal lot
+ Of wisdom. Others seek the truth beside
+ Thyself. Behold aloft in air there fly
+ Fowls diverse all in nature, strength of wing
+ And keenness: even so the men who hie
+ On the soul's quests. In genius differing,
+ They all some twinkling sparks of truth may see,
+ But the whole flaming round is hid from them and thee.
+
+
+III.
+
+ Thou who in folly thinkest Heaven's King
+ Has sent thee into this fair world to gain
+ As many guineas as, with toil and pain,
+ In threescore years thine avarice can wring
+ From poorer men, be warned! With tiger-spring
+ Fell death will leap upon your life amain
+ And rive you from your opulence, though fain
+ To tarry. Then the jovial heir will fling
+ To the four winds of heaven thy gathered hoard
+ In flaunting joys and unrestricted glee,
+ While costly dishes glitter on the board
+ And the wine flows in ruddy runnels free.
+ Thou, meanwhile, in the shady realms below
+ A bloodless ghost, wilt wander to and fro.
+
+
+IV.
+
+I.
+
+ Though lilies on their graceful stalk
+ Droop, fade, and die,
+ Earth's still renewing forces mock
+ Death's cruelty.
+
+II.
+
+ For roots and seeds within the mould
+ Will thrust again
+ Their sheathed beauties manifold
+ Up to the plain.
+
+III.
+
+ Though flowery hopes of dazzling gleam
+ Wither and die,
+ New hopes in the soul's garden teem
+ Unceasingly.
+
+V.
+
+ O Lord of light, disperse my baffling fears,
+ Give me a look but for a moment's space
+ Upon the tranquil glory of Thy face,
+ To serve as force to fight the chilling years.
+ Clouds hide Thee from me, and the bitter tears
+ Run down my cheek in floods. Out of Thy grace
+ Let my heart's chamber be a dwelling-place
+ For Thee. Come for a little space. Mine ears
+ Strain for the hearing of a word divine
+ Straight from Thy holy lips. No single task
+ Can I at all accomplish or design
+ Without the full assurance that I ask
+ This, namely, that my soul is one with Thee,
+ And Thou dost work Thy purposes by me.
+
+
+THE CHRISTIAN BRETHREN.
+
+It would be well-spent labour if some sympathetic historian could find
+time to write a short account of the Plymouth Brethren, giving details
+of the origin, tenets, divisions, and influence of the sect. I am
+surprised that Mr. Barrie in his notable excursions into Scotch life and
+religion, has never portrayed such a fine specimen of the working-man
+turned theologian.
+
+It must not be supposed that only the rich and the leisurely have what
+is called religious experiences and shadowed souls. The finest
+developments, doubtless, of the religious sense require time and money.
+That leisurely groping after tendencies, that introspective analysis of
+the sins of omission and commission, that delightful perception of the
+falling away from righteousness of your brethren and sisters--all these
+choice sweets are, if they are to be adequately enjoyed, compatible only
+with a minimum of L300 a year. The religious sense and the musical are
+in many points alike. If you wish to develop an initially melodious
+soul, it means expense: you must go to professors, study counterpoint,
+practice many hours daily, and attend concerts of the most exclusive and
+expensive kind. Similarly with religion in its finest flower. You need
+slaves to cook and wash for you if you mean to ecstaticise and see
+beatific visions: you must get the most fashionable and picturesque
+specialists to come and feel your religious pulse, and you must on no
+account neglect the subscription lists. But only those rich enough to be
+hypochondriac can afford such luxuries. Now, in the toiling classes
+there are often good ears for music, and exquisite responsiveness to
+religious sensations. What satisfies such natures and such wants must be
+cheap. The Plymouth Brethren (I ought rather to say _Christian_
+Brethren), have no General Assembly, little or no pedantry of a costly
+kind, and yet, I believe, they supply all the exhilaration of schisms,
+splits, counter-splits, and heresy-hunts. Every man his own General
+Assembly! There may be a lack of the finer touches in such a system, but
+what is lacking in elegance is fully made up in clearness of view and
+rombustious vigour.
+
+In many of the fishing villages on the east coast of Scotland, there are
+large congregations of these worthy men raising their Ebenezers, and
+making a joyful noise on the first day of the week. I have a good deal
+of sympathy with their democratic and direct style of worship. In
+Scotland, when a man gets converted, he feels constrained to _do
+something_, but very often there is little outlet for his energy in the
+calm routine of the fashionable churches--hence the necessity for
+bethels and mission-houses. At their revivals, let me add, one is in
+presence of that mysterious awakening to which every religion owes its
+birth.
+
+In the autumn of 1906, I had an interesting talk with the minister of a
+seaside village on the shore of the Moray Firth, and was distressed to
+find that he was sorely harassed by the lively sect I have mentioned.
+Every now and again a wandering evangelist comes along the coast,
+pitches a tent, and begins a series of gospel services. Those who are
+converted, neglect the church and all its ordinances, and begin
+preaching on their own account; nay, they even buttonhole the minister
+and preach to _him_, accusing him of being an unjust steward, a
+hireling, and no shepherd, and so on. Such conduct creates a very
+painful situation. With a good deal of detail, the long-suffering
+clergyman gave me an account of a visit he had paid to an old woman
+recently converted. The narrative of her conversion as told by herself
+was quaint and touching: "They were a' gettin' it," she said, "and I
+wasna gettin' it. So I jist went to the door and steekit my e'en, and
+raised them to the lift, and _I got it_. Isn't that the way o't, auld
+man?" "Aye, aye, that's the way o't, auld wife," chimed in the husband.
+The latter then took up the wondrous tale: "When she came in and tell't
+me she had got it, I went doon on my knees to thank the Lord jist at the
+fireside, and lo and behold, when I opened my e'en, I was at the street
+door. The Spirit had taken me there, unbeknown to me. So I lifted up my
+voice and called on God's people. And in five minutes the room and
+kitchen were filled wi' saved folk, a' singing hymns, because my auld
+wife had got it at last."
+
+I also remember meeting an old thatcher of eminent talents who seemed to
+me to be on the straight road for Zion, for he fulfilled the Scriptural
+injunction to be fervent in spirit as well as not slothful in business.
+James had at one time been precentor in one of the regular churches, but
+owing to some cantankerous criticism of his melody, he seceded to the
+Brethren, who fearlessly accepted his services gratis. James was
+specially lyrical on the roof, and it was a treat to hear him sing
+"_There is rest for the weary_," as he pushed the thatch into its long
+home:--
+
+ "There is rest for the weary,
+ There is rest for the weary,
+ There is rest for _you_" (with a forceful thrust).
+
+I must not omit to mention (and with reverence be it spoken) that James
+had a reputation far and wide in the country-side, for the vigour and
+extreme unction of his grace before meat. Though giving a humble tenor
+to the initial phrases and using the tar-brush on himself, and the
+hungry company as putrid sinners unworthy even of the least of the
+mercies, he always contrived to reassure everyone by sunnily rounding
+off the matter with some rich and racy allusions to the gracious and
+ample promises of Holy Writ. One could have felt quite comfortable even
+in a slight excess of gluttony after such introductory words of
+blessing. You felt that the occasion had been met, that something like
+perfection had been attained. James was willing to admit shortcomings in
+thatching, or in any department of human activity, so long as his
+superiority in pre-prandial supplication was admitted. But it so
+happened that Fate, whose delight it is to imperil even the stablest
+reputations, sent his way a South-country Brother with a gift in prayer
+truly appalling. At a gathering at which James was present, this
+stranger was honoured by being asked to say grace. In the process, he
+soared to such heights of oratory and supplicatory fervour, that the
+uniform opinion of the guests, as evinced by looks, demeanour, and even
+congratulation, was that James had at last been beaten on his own
+ground. Supreme dejection settled on the thatcher, and neither bite nor
+sup could dislodge the settled melancholy of his soul. After long
+pondering with chin on chest in a corner of that pious throng, he had an
+idea. Sidling up to the matron of the house, he, with a terrible whisper
+of earnestness, addressed her in these words: "Mistress, before we gang
+hame, doon wi' a whang o' cheese and a farl o' cake--it'll no' cost ye
+much--and _I'll ha'e a tussle wi' him for't yet_." She gladly complied
+with his request. His excitement gave him inspiration, and over that
+cheese and oatcake, he delivered himself of such a grace as had never
+before proceeded from his lips. A murmur of involuntary admiration
+greeted the conclusion. James was comforted, and once more held his head
+erect.
+
+To talk of the Evolution of Religion to men like James would be a
+complete waste of time. Such men regard themselves as the acme of the
+process: whatever modifications may supervene after their day will be
+deteriorations. It is quite impossible to persuade an enthusiast that he
+is a mere phenomenon of development, and not, actually and now, the roof
+and crown of things. Even if persuasion were possible, it would be a
+cruelty to disillusionise these happy wights,--men who, with such
+sublime confidence, can read their title clear to mansions in the sky.
+They have a complete key to the universe, and are as happy as if they
+had seen the whole vast circle of truth.
+
+
+DRIMNIN IN MORVEN.
+
+How many of my readers know where Drimnin is? If I should say, "In the
+parish of Morven," it is possible the majority of them would not be
+greatly edified, unless they had acquaintance with the saintly Macleod's
+_Reminiscences of a Highland Parish_. Well, Drimnin is on the mainland,
+nearly opposite the entrance to the haven of Tobermory. The _Chevalier_
+nears into the coast when anyone wishes to land, and two boatmen,
+obeying a signal, pull out from shore into the open, and the passenger
+leaps, as gracefully as circumstances permit, into their arms--amid the
+cheers of those left on the steamer.
+
+The clergyman of Morven ministers to a parish that has over a hundred
+miles of seaboard, and, strange to say, there have been only three
+incumbents in it during the last hundred and thirty years, himself being
+the third, with twenty-six years' ministry to his credit so far. These
+facts procured him an extraordinary reception in America, where he spent
+a holiday recently. The Americans, with whom change is the permanent
+element, looked with amazement on a minister who came from a parish with
+such a record. They thronged round his hotel to get shaking hands with
+him, while he blushed to think that homage was being paid to the
+longevity of his predecessors. It is no treat to be a lion in Maine.
+
+The visitor to Drimnin should return to Oban by driving to Lochaline,
+where there is a pier. A mere glance up that inlet of Lochaline is
+sufficient to prove the unerring accuracy of Sir Walter's description:
+"Fair Lochaline's woodland shore." Scott had a marvellous eye for
+scenery, and having once seen a locality, could describe it better than
+a native could do who had lived in the neighbourhood from youth
+upwards.[19]
+
+ [19] I may here refer to a pleasant three hours spent in rowing
+ on Lochaline in the company of Mr. Hugh Macintyre, an old
+ gentleman full of Scott and well versed in the lore of the
+ locality. He was a policeman in Glasgow for thirty-five years
+ (latterly as guardian of the Kelvingrove Picture Gallery), and
+ now, in the enjoyment of good health and a pension, spends his
+ time reading and doing good in his native district. Mr.
+ Macintyre's earliest recollection is of his father being evicted
+ from a small holding, at the head of the loch, in the "forties."
+
+ Tennyson and Palgrave were visitors at Ardtornish, as Mr. Lang
+ tells us, but made no special impression on the natives, who
+ styled them respectively _Tinman_ and _Pancake_.
+
+
+CRAIGNISH.
+
+At Craignish (two miles _or so_ from Ardfern, next pier to Luing on the
+way from Crinan to Oban) I was astonished to find what I think is unique
+in Scotland, an old clergyman, born in 1824, still, without any aid
+whatever, performing all the duties of a parish minister in one of the
+wildest parts of Argyllshire. I refer to the Rev. Mr. M'Michael, who was
+chairman at the lecture. The old gentleman, who is remarkably hale in
+body and never melancholy at meal-time (as he slyly puts it), is prone
+to speak by preference of the events of "auld lang syne." He gave me a
+most vivid account of Professor John Wilson (whom, as I do not now live
+in Paisley, I may safely venture to call Paisley's _greatest_ son), who
+was one of his teachers, and who, as "Christopher North," wrote so many
+witty and solid articles that undeservedly perished in _Blackwood's
+Magazine_ at the beginning of last reign. I have rarely had such a treat
+as my talk with this hale-hearted octogenarian. His charming daughters
+keep house for him, and employ their leisure time weaving at a loom of
+their own. The sheep that graze on the glebe supply the wool, and the
+intermediate stages between the back of the sheep and the woollen
+overcoat on the back of the needy are all supervised by these dexterous
+daughters of the manse.
+
+The coach to Craignish passes through a bit of Scotland that, in the
+leafy month of June, must be glorious to behold. I passed along in a
+fierce and chilling blizzard of sleet and snow. If a poet could keep
+warm, thought I, this would be the spot for him to get impressive scenes
+for his word-pictures. At one part, the road ziz-zags up a hill for
+three miles, alongside a furious burn, to a height of six hundred feet;
+from which eminence one sees, on the right, great bare crags and steep
+heights, and, on the left, an inlet of the Atlantic foaming wildly
+below. Ye gentlemen of the cloth, whose lot is cast in towns and who sit
+at home in ease, think of the trials of your rural brethren in their
+attempts to drive in winter through drifting snow to a presbytery
+meeting fourteen miles away![20]
+
+ [20] I could mention another rural parish, considerably further
+ north, where, two winters ago, the roads were so badly blocked
+ with snow that for five consecutive weeks no church services
+ could be held! Both minister and congregation were overcome with
+ grief.
+
+
+A MODEL MINISTER.
+
+Not far from the city of Aberdeen is a little village of seafaring folk,
+and the worthy minister, the Rev. Mr. Pollock, is guide, philosopher,
+and friend to the entire community. Up to his manse, which is a mile
+from the uneven and fishy streets, there is a constant _va-et-vient_ of
+parishioners. One old widow wishes him to write to her son at the
+Yarmouth fishing, herself being ignorant of English spelling; this old
+man, painfully hobbling uphill on his stick, and muttering to himself as
+he goes, desires the faithful pastor to come and cheer a bed-ridden wife
+who is failing fast; that young fisher-lass will blush as she tells that
+her young man is on the way home to claim her as his own, with the
+Church's aid. Mr. Pollock is the confidential repository of all their
+secrets: nothing in their lives is hidden from him; he knows all of
+comic and tragic in their lowly careers. Along with his wife, he visits
+every house in the place, and from intimate knowledge can tell you,
+nodding his head to this or that house as he walks along, the worth or
+worthlessness of every native of the village. His time is so fully taken
+up with pure religion and undefiled, that he has no time to waste on the
+Higher Criticism.
+
+A tout for some wandering minstrels recently came over from Aberdeen,
+meaning to leave one of his red-and-yellow bills (announcing a
+performance) in each of the local shops. The minister saw him as he
+distributed the bills, and closely followed up on his trail. Mr. Pollock
+entered each shop and said to the shopkeeper: "Please let me see the
+bill you have there in the window." On getting it, he would scan it, and
+request to get keeping it. In no shop was he refused, so that by the
+time he got to the end of the village, he was carrying two dozen large
+concert placards, while the tout, merrily whistling, and all unconscious
+of the nullity of his labours, was on his way back to Aberdeen. "Lead us
+not into temptation," said the minister, as he thrust the garish
+announcements into his study stove. None of Mr. Pollock's flock were at
+the concert that night. Perhaps, if any had gone, little harm would have
+been done. The minister, however, thought they were better at home, or
+at the local prayer-meeting.
+
+Mr. Pollock's predecessor was a thin, unemotional man--a geologist--who
+spent an important percentage of his time chipping rocks and looking for
+fossils. Owing to this mania, his flock were forgotten, and came to
+forget _him_. No wonder if the church attendance dwindled! _Ab uno disce
+omnes_, as Virgil says. One day this ordained geologist had agreed to
+baptize a child in a hamlet some miles away, and set forth to walk to
+the place in good time. Unhappily, by the roadside, there was a quarry,
+into which, by instinct, the minister glided, keen and eager-eyed. He
+stayed therein for four hours, and forgot all about the infant
+(squalling, no doubt, in special robe, and impatient for the
+christening), the waiting relatives, the inevitable decanter, and the
+thick cuts of indigestible bun. The minister, I say, trudged home with
+his treasure-trove of petrified ferns and foot-marked shale--a greater
+fossil than any under his own cases of glass. His memory was stirred by
+his wife's catechising, but it was too late to undo the mischief.
+
+
+MINISTERIAL TRIALS IN OLDEN TIMES.
+
+In modern times, ministers are badly paid, considering the expenses of
+their training and long education, but they are better paid than they
+used to be. In 1756, the minister of Ferintosh, a big, active man, with
+the object of adding something to his stipend, leased the meal-mill of
+Alcaig from the laird of Culloden. The combination of miller and
+minister did not please his parishioners. It never occurred to these
+clowns that the occupation of miller is singularly adapted for
+reflection: spiritual and bodily nourishment (thought of together) might
+well form a field of thought fertile in instructive metaphors; "the dark
+round of the dripping wheel," the work of separating husks and flour,
+the topics of dearth and abundance, might all come to have a homiletic
+value to a serious-minded teacher of religion. But a cry of scandal,
+directed not against themselves for underpaying their minister, but
+against that worthy man for being an _ordained miller_, arose in the
+parish. A member of the congregation was deputed to give a gentle hint
+to the minister that the two occupations were incompatible. The
+interview took place on the high road. "What news this morning, Thomas?"
+said the minister. "Have you not heard of the fearful news?" said
+Thomas. "No, what is it?" "Well, everybody's saying," said Thomas, with
+a whisper of affected horror, "that _the minister's wife has taken up
+with the big miller of Alcaig_." The delicacy of this hint was such that
+the minister resigned his lease.
+
+The trials of ministers long ago were truly great. Witches had to be
+reckoned with, as the aforementioned Ferintosh minister, who was their
+foe, knew to his cost. By their incantations they caused him to be
+afflicted with somnolency. As this sleepy fit usually came on in church
+between the first psalm and the prayer, it can be easily seen how awful
+were the reprisals of these Satanic hags.
+
+
+AN ARTFUL DODGER.
+
+The Rev. Mr. Rogers, minister of a parish in Fife, was, like many
+another worthy man, in sore financial straits at one period of his life.
+He was a widower, and probably this fact accounts for his displenished
+exchequer. With supreme audacity he touched the bell of a rich old
+maiden lady, and on entering her boudoir he bluntly admitted his lack of
+funds, and said, "Give me L200 and I'll marry you." She gave him the
+money, and for months after never saw his face. Finally she wrote asking
+an interview. He came, and she tartly said, "Did you not say, Mr.
+Rogers, that if I gave you L200, you would marry me?" "Certainly I did,"
+said the cunning minister, "and _I'm ready to marry you whenever you
+produce your man: where is he_?" This anecdote shows the difficulty of
+being unambiguous when speaking English, and furnishes an argument for
+the adoption of French as the language of courtship as well as of
+diplomacy.
+
+The same foxy ecclesiastic wished two things, both of which his heritors
+flatly refused: (a) a new manse, and (b) a site with a wide
+prospect. Finding them intractable, he professed humility, and craved
+merely a species of scaffolding to buttress up one of the walls of the
+old manse. The heritors marvelled a little at the strange request, but,
+glad of being saved from the cost of a new building, authorised the
+buying of some sturdy joists to prop up a wall that the minister averred
+was off the plumb. No sooner was the buttressing timber in position than
+Mr. Rogers appeared with a violent complaint in the Sheriff Court,
+declaring that the manse was like to fall about his ears, and that the
+heritors had palpably admitted the danger by erecting a scaffold. The
+Sheriff expressed strong disapproval of the heritors' stinginess, and
+ordered them to get a new manse built for the minister. Now as to the
+site! To spite Mr. Rogers, the heritors determined to deprive him of a
+good view, and directed the St. Andrews builder to erect the new manse
+down in the valley on a broad bank by a burnside. The master-builder
+placed pegs and marks in the ground at the prescribed place and returned
+to St. Andrews, telling his workmen to proceed next day to begin the
+work, and mentioning that they would know the site by marks he had
+placed there. At cockcrow the minister was afoot, busy transferring the
+pegs to the summit of a lovely knoll. The tradesmen came out to the
+country, and looking for the site found it on the hill-top and began
+their work. After they had been a week or more on the walls, out from
+St. Andrews came the master to see how his men were progressing. He came
+near a complete collapse when he saw his men on the hill instead of in
+the valley. He spoke winged words to them, but it was too late. In such
+fashion did Mr. Rogers outwit his heritors. I regret that no literary
+relics of this acute divine are to be had. He seems to have been in his
+way a kind of Higher Critic judging from a remark he made on the Ark:
+"How did you manage," he said, as if addressing Noah in person, "how did
+you manage to keep the first plank of your boat from getting rotten
+before the last was nailed on, if you actually took 120 years to put the
+whole thing together?"
+
+
+SOME ANECDOTES FROM GIGHA.
+
+The late minister of Gigha, a small island community of 360 souls off
+the coast of Kintyre was a cleric of great humour and full of stories.
+His church was the only one in the island, a fact of which he was proud.
+At a communion service, a minister from the mainland, struck off a
+monumental phrase in one of his prayers. He said "Thou hast shown, O
+Lord, Thy confidence in Thy servant, the devout minister of Gigha, for
+lo! out of the plentitude of Thy great mercy Thou has seen fit _to give
+him an island all to himself_." I have heard and do in part believe it,
+that the effect of such a supplication in Gaelic is overpoweringly
+strong.
+
+This same minister "of the island," whose digestion I may say, was so
+perfect that he could triumphantly absorb strong tea and poached eggs as
+a regular midnight meal, told me one night over this collation, the
+story of a fisherman in one of the Western Islands, whose prayer before
+going to sea was of a singular character. He invariably addressed the
+Deity as _Sibshe_ (You) instead of the ordinary _Thusa_ (Thou). On one
+occasion, when the weather was squally and danger was anticipated, he
+prayed thus: "O Lord God, my Beloved, if You would be so good as to take
+the care of Mary and Jessie, my daughters; but that She-Devil, my wife,
+the daughter of Peter Macpherson, I am indifferent about her: she will
+have another husband before I am eaten by the crabs!"
+
+Here follows another well-known story from the same authority. A
+Lowlander, taking a week's sail on one of Macbrayne's cargo-boats
+stepped ashore, on Sunday morning, at a remote insular port, to attend
+church, as was fit and proper. The text was the well-known verse "Can
+the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard his spots?" The minister,
+strange to say, preached a long and painfully vivid sermon on _leprosy_.
+The tourist waited, after sermon, in order to talk with the minister and
+quietly remonstrate with him. He said: "You gave us an excellent
+discourse to-day, but do you think it followed quite appropriately from
+the text: surely you are aware that a _leopard_ and a _leper_ are two
+different things." The minister, eying the tourist with a look of
+indignant scorn for a second, lifted up his voice and denounced him
+thus: "Out of my sight with you: I know what you are; you are one of
+these pestilent fellows called Higher Critics. Begone!"
+
+In the Long Island, it is an article of fixed belief among the stricter
+Presbyterians that Catholics are outside any scheme of salvation.
+Episcopalians, too, are regarded as being in an extremely dubious
+position. Any stick, however, is good enough to beat the partisans of
+the Pope. "Brethren," said a minister near Stornoway, "I have forgotten
+my sermon to-day: but _I'll just say a word or two against the
+Catholics_." Such a philippic, he seemed to think, could never be out of
+season.
+
+Denunciation has always been a favourite method of the religious bigot.
+If the various sects of the Christian Church, could go on their way,
+ameliorating the world, and leaving each other in peace, the millennium
+would be within reasonable distance. I heard a U.F. say to a Wee Free:
+"Donald, you'll no' gang to Heaven, _because I'm bad_." The sentence is
+good enough for an epigram. Unfortunately, too many of our sectaries
+think it the prime virtue of their faith to run down their neighbours.
+
+
+GROWING POPULARITY OF RUSKIN.
+
+One of the most cheerful features in the present-day thought of
+Scotland, and one from which we may anticipate excellent results in
+every department of social and religious life, is the growing popularity
+of the great apostle of the nineteenth century, John Ruskin. Though
+dead, he continues to speak; and from close inspection of the registers
+that show in detail the nature of the books asked for, at the various
+village libraries, I have noted, with no small pleasure, that Ruskin's
+works are eagerly read all over the Highlands and islands of Scotland.
+This is something quite new, and will, I am certain, work immense good.
+
+For Ruskin's work in the department of religion, no words can be too
+commendatory. His genius was in thorough accord with the spirit of the
+Biblical writers, and his modes of speech and illustration perpetually
+reminiscent of Scripture. He loses no opportunity of dwelling on the
+culturing influence of the Bible. There is also a fine tolerance in his
+religious teaching, which is alike helpful and suggestive. His is that
+variety of teaching which we find most effectively outside of the ranks
+of professional commentators, and which comes through the keen flashes
+of genius that accompany the insight of the literary artist. He has
+pointed out to us with great eloquence that, while specific doctrines
+take at various epochs very different degrees of importance, and aspects
+of rite, ceremony, and all that, appeal with changing force to different
+generations, the essence of religious feeling, without which dogma
+becomes harsh and rite insipid, hardly varies at all; seeing that in the
+musings of the great minds of all ages, we have oftenest the pure gold
+of devotion, mingled, though it may sometimes be, with the adhesive
+dross of superstition. He also warns us of the danger of mistaking
+pugnacity for piety, and earnestly urges that, at every moment of our
+lives, we should be trying to find out, not in what we differ from other
+men, but in what we agree. Ruskin considers this to be the correct
+spirit in which to approach ancient as well as modern religion,
+believing that if a reader cannot understand a spiritual agency, or
+thinks that the best of ancient men were not dominated by any such, the
+understanding of the very alphabet of history will be endangered. It
+would tend greatly to salvation from arid formalism, if ministers would
+teach that Plato, Sophocles, Browning, Carlyle, are all apostles of
+religion. A living word from an intuitionist like the last-named not
+unfrequently vivifies with new force the dark sayings of a Hebrew seer,
+in much more direct fashion than half-a-score of mutilated Pentateuchs
+made in the delirium of the Higher Criticism.
+
+In spite of his unsystematic procedure, Ruskin deserves to be numbered
+among the men who have earned the gratitude of their fellows, by
+translating some of the ever-vital aspects of religion into the
+vocabulary of the hour. The language of religious discourse is liable to
+a subtle kind of pedantry, requiring a vigorous intellect adequately to
+dissolve. New illustrations, novel forms of definition, are often
+helpful in expelling the dreariness of outworn and meaningless phrases.
+Ruskin's task is facilitated by the nice balance of his intellectual and
+imaginative endowments, by the fact that his words are not mere symbols
+of definite connotation, but marvellous centres of emotional force.
+Happily he did not seek to elaborate any system of religion: but now
+here, now there, in his books, one comes upon the pure gold of religion,
+enshrined in exquisite jewelries of diction, which glimmer on (if I may
+say so) to the utmost verge of emotion, and more successfully than any
+formal harangue, work out their intended function. Such works as _Unto
+this Last_ and _Munera Pulveris_, however keen the mental antagonism
+they may initially provoke, mark a period in the spiritual life of the
+reader: no matter what the prepossessions of a man may be, these books
+will modify them. He is reverent, but, like Plato, he is dynamic. You
+can't sit at ease as you read his pages, for they are charged as much
+with defiance as with guidance.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+EDUCATIONAL.
+
+ Some Insular Dominies--Education Act of 1872--Education in the
+ Highlands--Feeding the hungry--Parish Council
+ boarders--Dwindling attendances--Arnisdale--Golspie Technical
+ School--On the Sidlaws--Some surprises--Arran schools--Science
+ and literature--Study of Scott--The old classical dominie--Vogue
+ of Latin in former times--Teachers and
+ examinations--Howlers--Competing subjects.
+
+
+SOME INSULAR DOMINIES.
+
+It is by no means an easy matter for a teacher to get south again once
+he is installed in a remote Highland school. He accepts a distant rural
+or insular post, marries the girl of his heart, gets settled in the
+schoolhouse of the glen or township, and rarely moves thence all the
+succeeding years of his life. He becomes identified with local affairs;
+plays whist maybe with the doctor, the factor, and the banker; and is
+apt to magnify the cackle of his bourg into the great Voice that echoes
+round the world. The monotony of his life is varied by such happenings
+as a birth or a death in his own household, a visit from the emissary of
+My Lords, an epidemic of measles, a general election, and the like. I
+don't say these men are unhappy, but unless they develop a hobby,
+torpidity is bound to settle like a mist upon their brains. Such studies
+as geology, botany, and gardening, are sovereign for driving off the
+vapours of ennui. Nor are golf, angling, and the composition of verse,
+specifics that the rural dominie can afford to despise.
+
+I have in my mind at this moment the portraits of many notable gentlemen
+(for true gentlemen they are, though their purses are thin) who have
+given up their lives to educating the progeny of the inclement North.
+Lamont, for example, whom I remember as a first-class mathematician, is
+living in the marshy navel of an Outer Isle, amid wild-fowl and spirals
+of peat-reek. If you want to visit him you have (1) to cross the billowy
+western deep; (2) drive fifteen miles in a trap; (3) traverse a
+four-mile arm of the sea in a ferry that needs baling; (4) proceed seven
+miles to another ferry two miles in breadth; (5) hop, step, and jump
+three miles along a narrow and tortuous track, enough to give vertigo to
+a goat. Lamont is not unhappy: he keeps his mind active by solving stiff
+quadratic equations and fiddling with Cartesian co-ordinates. I hope he
+will get credit for all these studies, when the last trump sounds, for
+he gets little enough at present.
+
+Ramsay, too, is a dweller among these treeless bogs, and is engaged,
+during his leisure, on a translation of Anacreon which will never be
+finished, or, if finished, will never be published. I called on him and
+immolated myself on the altar of his Anacreon in order to give him a
+little pleasure. He, later on, enlarged on his school, scholars, and
+daily life. The horizon of the boys and girls is extremely limited: most
+of them have never seen either a pig or a policeman. Cabbages have only
+been recently introduced into the district, but are already thriving
+wonderfully well considering the thin soil. There are of course no
+trees: for what trees could stand against the buffeting of the fierce
+wintry gales of the Atlantic? Ramsay's only chum is a missionary, who is
+of an antiquarian turn, and goes fumbling about for arrow-heads and
+prehistoric bracelets, especially after a storm, when the hill-sides are
+laid bare.
+
+Neither Lamont nor Ramsay know a word of Gaelic, and there they are in
+districts where English is a foreign language. Needless to say, the lack
+of Gaelic is a terrible drawback to these two men. They should never
+have been where they are, for they are aliens. The scholars, unbreeched
+little rogues, have an advantage over their teacher, and in the
+playground talk the tongue of the Celt invariably, and may be maligning
+him for all he knows. I am afraid, too, that teacher and minister do not
+always consider themselves as auxiliaries in these outer isles. The
+younger generation of teachers have, as might be expected, a more
+extensive knowledge of books than the old school of Presbyterian
+ministers. The latter, feeling their literary inferiority, are inclined
+to regard the teacher as an intruder whose work in the school-room will
+cause the rising generation to look slightingly on the "essentials." I
+have in my possession numerous letters from Highland teachers dealing
+with this fear on the part of the clergy, that novels and secular
+literature generally will pervert the minds of the people. The addition
+of Mrs. Humphrey Ward's books to a library was recently likened to the
+arrival of the Serpent in Eden.
+
+
+EDUCATION ACT OF 1872.
+
+In one of the best-known chapters of _Rob Roy_, Bailie Nicol Jarvie, the
+utilitarian Glasgow merchant, says to his cattle-reiving kinsman: "Your
+boys, Rob, dinna ken the very multiplication table, which is the root o'
+a useful knowledge, and it's my belief they can neither read, write, nor
+cipher, if sic a thing could be believed o' ane's ain connections in a
+Christian land." Rob replies in a sentence that is worthy of being put
+alongside the remark of old Earl Douglas in the poem of _Marmion_:
+"Hamish can bring down a blackcock on the wing with a single bullet, and
+Rob can drive a dirk through a twa-inch board." These quotations
+adequately explain the almost complete absence of prose remains in the
+literature of the Gael. Bards there were in plenty, but they could
+neither read nor write.
+
+In the year 1872, education was made the concern of the nation. It was
+rightly considered to be a standing menace to the security of the realm
+that ignorance, which is the parent of disorder and lawlessness, should
+be the doom of a large proportion of the nation. Rather than hazard the
+dangers of an illiterate population, education was undertaken by the
+State, and paid for out of the national purse. The analogy between
+disease and ignorance is, in truth, sufficiently close to justify both
+sanitation and education coming into the wide domain of imperial duties.
+
+Looking back on the changes that resulted in the Lowlands from the
+Education Act of 1872, we see grounds for criticism. The measure, like
+all earthly things, was imperfect. There was something hard and
+inelastic about the system fostered by the old Code. The psychology of
+Child Nature was almost totally ignored. A system of examination was
+established that assumed an equal and mechanical progress on the part of
+every child every year. Yet, in spite of grave defects, the Act of 1872
+brought inestimable blessings with it. For one thing, the health
+conditions of education were vastly improved. Many of the old schools
+were absolute hovels. After 1872, large, airy, and spacious buildings,
+were erected in every district of the land. It was no longer a case of
+one old dominie facing singly a whole regiment of unruly youngsters:
+every school was organised and disciplined into regular and seemly
+order. We had the advantage in Scotland of a complete system of School
+Boards, and that awakened an intense and universal interest in
+educational affairs. The old parochial schools of Scotland had many
+admirable features, but in 1872 they were quite unfit to cope with the
+nation's needs. On the whole, the School Board system was a decided boon
+to the land.
+
+
+EDUCATION IN THE HIGHLANDS.
+
+It is only since the Act of 1872 that any education of a serious or
+systematic kind has been attempted in the Celtic parts of Scotland.
+Nevertheless, a word of praise is due to the Society for Promoting
+Christian Knowledge and other civilising agencies of the Churches
+(Established and Free), for their work during the educational night that
+preceded the Act. These agencies were, of course, utterly inadequate to
+meet the needs of the Highlands, as may be easily seen from the fact
+that in 1862, over 47 per cent. of the men who married, could not sign
+their own names. But, indeed, what resources, save those of the Imperial
+Treasury, could ever be adequate to meet the expense of educating the
+children spread over such wide and sparsely-peopled tracts? Sheriff
+Nicolson, one of the most fervid Gaels that ever lived, made a report to
+Government in 1865, characterising the education given in the Highland
+schools as lamentably insufficient.
+
+The effects of the Act of 1872 were slow but sure, and in the course of
+fifteen years a change, analogous to that effected by General Wade in
+the state of the roads, was brought about in the realm of education. Yet
+the expenses involved in the working of the measure were of an unduly
+burdensome kind, in spite of the generous bounty of the Education
+Department. In some of the large parishes of the Long Island, the heavy
+school rate was such a cause of complaint that My Lords were forced to
+take very drastic measures to relieve the financial strain. In summing
+up the results of the Education Act, Professor Magnus Maclean says:
+"Among the good things that education has brought the Highlanders, are a
+knowledge of English, wider social and political interests, a brighter
+intelligence and brighter outlook, freedom from mental vacuity and
+traditional superstitions."
+
+
+FEEDING THE HUNGRY.
+
+Probably, as I have hinted, one of the chief benefits of the Education
+Act, was that teaching had to be carried on in conditions of space and
+air. Given such conditions and an enthusiastic master, some good
+progress will certainly be made.
+
+Connected with the physical side of education we have had, of late,
+signs of a new departure. There is a talk of _feeding the hungry_.
+
+Every parent worthy of the name is proud to provide food and clothing
+for his children. That's what he's there for. But it does not require
+much keenness of vision to see that there are many parents unworthy of
+the name, and that, by the dark and inscrutable degrees of Heaven, such
+worthless individuals are often allowed to be parents of a numerous
+progeny. We must (i) inject into these wastrels the feeling of
+responsibility and (ii) prevent the children from dying of starvation.
+The first problem requires lengthy treatment and is perhaps hopeless of
+accomplishment; the second can be done at once by philanthropy, either
+individual or national.
+
+However much it may wound the pride of our gilded youth, it can hardly
+be asserted that birth and rank are matters that involve the slightest
+personal merit. It seems to be an affair of the purest accident into
+what class of society a child is born. We have overcome the difficulties
+and dangers of youth--most of us--but it might well have been otherwise.
+Soften your hearts, ye political economists, and cease to regard the
+poor, the weak, and the wretched as criminals. If there is no wealth
+but life, our country must soon be poor indeed should the rising
+generation be sickly and underfed. Bairns must not be allowed to study
+on an empty stomach.
+
+
+PARISH COUNCIL BOARDERS.
+
+Let me here mention a point alluded to by more than one friend of the
+Highlands. It has reference to one aspect of the new science called
+Eugenics, which deals with the means for producing the maximum of vigour
+in our nation. It is not well enough known that for years the
+authorities have been pouring into a few of the islands and straths of
+the North and West a great number of maimed, consumptive, and mentally
+defective children. Some houses in the Hebrides have three or four of
+these children, who, but for the action of the authorities, would be
+living under the most deplorable conditions of life in the towns. The
+results, as regarding improvement in health and physique, are of the
+most encouraging kind.[21]
+
+After a certain age the official subsidy ceases, and the children as a
+rule go to work on the farms and crofts. It is evident that such
+extensive planting out of city boys and girls is bound by and by to work
+a great change in the composition of our rural districts. It is believed
+that some of the islands would soon be without children but for these
+incomers: it is a well-known fact that the indigenous youthful
+population of certain of them is very meagre indeed. We are thus in
+modern times witnessing some most instructive operations of Nature: for
+generations the country has been depleted to swell the bloated
+population of the towns; and now the wastage of the cities is being sent
+back to the country to get a renewal of vigour at the primeval fountain
+of health.
+
+There is one further point of great moment. As a proportion, relatively
+large, of these children come of morally dubious parentage, it is of
+supreme interest to know their subsequent career and conduct. I have
+seen reports and statistics which seem to prove that questionable
+heredity can be overborne by healthy surroundings and good training; in
+other words, that the offspring of criminals may, if rescued early from
+a vicious environment, become respectable citizens. Such facts ought to
+rejoice the hearts of all moral reformers.
+
+ [21] In that part of South Arran which lies between Dippen and
+ Shannochie, there is high up on the hillside, a row of cottages
+ and crofts collectively nicknamed "Mount Misery." The reason for
+ this sinister name is that in most of the houses there is some
+ maimed, consumptive, or imbecile child boarded out by the Parish
+ Council. The children are better there than selling matches at
+ St. Enoch's Station: they are well looked after and almost
+ invariably improve in health.
+
+
+DWINDLING ATTENDANCES.
+
+It is in the country school that the need for new blood is most apparent
+to the eye. In schools capable of holding 120 children, you will often
+find a shrunken roll of less than a dozen. A gentleman of mature years
+usually does all the teaching and keeps himself from getting insane by
+breeding hens and cultivating roses in his spare time. He has also, in
+all likelihood, the little pickings of officialdom in the district, and
+is registrar, session-clerk, and precentor. One facetious teacher, who
+dwelt on a wide moor, headed his letter to me _Parish Council Chambers_,
+thereby suggesting marble staircases and sumptuous furniture. It was
+this same teacher who, on being asked to bring forward Standard V. for
+inspection, had to admit that Standard V. was laid up with a broken leg.
+For such small schools there is an increasing difficulty in finding male
+teachers.[22] Widows, who in their ante-nuptial days, had been engaged
+in teaching are often preferred to men, for reasons of salary. The lot
+of such women, who have usually families to support out of their meagre
+earnings, is hard indeed: if they keep their health, they manage
+tolerably well, but when illness comes into the house, there must be a
+deal of suffering and distress. The young pupils who attend the remote
+schools of the uplands, also deserve much sympathy. During the heavy
+snows and extreme cold of winter, these children--often ill-shod and
+scantily fed--have to trudge along miles of country cross-roads or
+hill-paths to their little school. Our country is a glory to the eye
+when mid-summer and autumn are there, but think of the harsh winter
+months with their torrents of driving rain, their whirlwinds of hail
+and sleet and the icy nip of the blasts that blow down the snow-sheeted
+glens.
+
+ [22] A country teacher in Kintyre, with a roll of eight, said to
+ me: "We have had only one marriage in the district during the
+ last year, and the bridegroom was aged _three score and fifteen_.
+ I wonder what education is coming to: there is little or no
+ patriotism about Kintyre or my roll would be higher. I wish I
+ could get the people to think more imperially than they do at
+ present."
+
+
+ARNISDALE, ETC.
+
+It will be perhaps interesting to the general reader if I strive, by
+drawing on my reminiscences, to give him an idea of how education is
+carried on in certain remote corners of Scotland at the present time. He
+will, perhaps, be led to admire as much as I do the noble work that is
+being done by teachers and inspectors for the rising generation of the
+country.
+
+Arnisdale, on the mainland facing Skye, is a very destitute district,
+and has suffered much from the failure of the once-flourishing
+herring-fishery of Loch Hourn. One can see by the attire of the children
+that the poverty must be exceptional, even for the Highlands. The
+teacher says that in winter she has to think as much how to feed the
+children as to teach them. By the charity of some benevolent visitors,
+she was, last winter, able to give the pupils a mid-day meal of cocoa
+and biscuits. It is a sad contrast to the extraordinary beauty of this
+picturesque spot that such dire misery should overtake a proportion of
+the natives during the winter season.
+
+Arnisdale is not very accessible, even in the height of the summer
+traffic, and when one gets there, it is a problem how to get away. I
+asked the captain of the _Glencoe_ to set me down near what is called
+the _dry island_, in Loch Hourn, and thence I was rowed ashore by two
+very wild-looking, unkempt boatmen. The school-house, where I lodged, is
+right on the beach, and just at the base of the gigantic Ben Screel.
+Twelve miles along the coast, by a road of the most awe-inspiring kind,
+one comes to the interesting nook of Glenelg, with its Pictish towers
+and ruined barracks.
+
+It was a mild and hazy morning when I traversed the road between
+Arnisdale and Glenelg. On coming to the summit, a great breeze arose and
+drove away the heavy white mists from the Sound of Sleat, and showed the
+white, sentinel-like lighthouse of Isle Ornsay and great fertile
+stretches of the near portion of Skye. Reluctantly the clouds finally
+curled and rolled away before the wind and the glitter of the sun, until
+the Cuchullins were visible beyond the water and the green peninsula of
+Sleat.
+
+In a cosy recess near the highest part of the road, beside a bubbling
+spring, a _gipsy family_ had pitched its tent. I admired the taste shown
+in the selection of a place commanding such a view. The family was still
+under canvas, but hanging on the branch of a tree was a worn and
+mud-stained skirt. Do not ladies in hotels, in similar fashion, hang out
+their dusty and travel-soiled attire at the doors of their chambers? And
+perhaps the dark-skinned owner had hung up her dank and dripping weeds
+in the hope that some silvan faun or Robin Goodfellow would, without a
+tip, perform the dusting process, in this case so palpably necessary. We
+do wrong in supposing that imagination is not the portion of these
+woodland rovers.
+
+One of the most difficult problems of the Education Department is to see
+that gipsy children get a suitable amount of schooling. "Here awa',
+there awa', wandering Willie," is applicable to all their tribe. How
+can progressive instruction be carried on where there is no fixity of
+habitation? One day the camp is pitched on an eminence overlooking Loch
+Hourn; but before twelve hours have passed, the nomads may have crossed
+the ferry at Kyleakin and be warming their hands round a blaze of stolen
+peats in the wild moorland between Portree and Dunvegan. Only in winter,
+when frost and snow drive the gipsies into the city slums, do the
+children get some smattering of the three R's.
+
+
+GOLSPIE TECHNICAL SCHOOL.
+
+There are now in the Highlands a number of excellent higher class public
+schools, in which the elements of secondary education are taught. The
+pupils in these schools are drawn from wide areas, and, by means of
+bursaries, can board away from their own homes. The Golspie Technical
+School is an altogether unique higher-grade institution. At a library
+lecture delivered in Golspie, the boys belonging to the school
+(forty-eight in number, divided into four clans, each with a chief) were
+present, accompanied by the Principal and his staff. My attention was at
+once drawn to them by their fine physique, their gentlemanly bearing,
+and their earnest attention. Next day, I had the pleasure of visiting
+the school and seeing the working of the scheme initiated by the Duchess
+of Sutherland.
+
+The institution is really a boarding-school for poor lads of talent
+belonging to the northern counties. They are under the eye of some
+teacher at every hour of the day, and are kept incessantly busy, not at
+books alone. They are taught to do their own washing, dusting,
+scrubbing, cooking, and darning. The training is excellent: one is
+impressed by its practical character and educational thoroughness. Latin
+and Greek are not attempted at all, the literary instruction being
+entirely based on English and the modern tongues. The science part of
+the curriculum is remarkably complete, and art is by no means neglected.
+
+Before a pupil has the good fortune to be admitted, the Principal visits
+the parents. It is almost incredible (so he told me) the squalor of some
+of the cots he had seen. Too often, in the Highlands, the one bedroom of
+the family (frequently identical with the kitchen) has free
+communication with a malodorous byre or stye. What a contrast with the
+dormitory of the Technical School, where there is no lullaby of lowing
+kine, but a tranquil, high-roofed hall that would do for the siesta of
+the Duke of Sutherland himself!
+
+
+ON THE SIDLAWS.
+
+High up on a spur of the Sidlaw Hills in the county of Forfar, there is
+a wee school that supplies education for a wide and sparsely-peopled
+countryside. The teacher is Mr. Brown, who was once a dominie in the
+island of Whalsay. He is a jovial and courteous man, and leads you on
+very astutely to ask him how long he taught there. Such a question gives
+him the opportunity of replying with a laugh: "_I was there exactly the
+length of time Napoleon was in St. Helena, five years and seven
+months_." When in Whalsay, Mr. Brown took the service on Sunday, if the
+minister happened to be ill. In this capacity he achieved great
+popularity by the meritorious device of shortening the sermon to fifteen
+minutes. He was so much in love with the first sermon he wrote, that he
+never wrote another, contenting himself with giving it again and again,
+and merely varying the text. If he could only hit upon a suitable title,
+and a suitable publisher for this sermon, Mr. Brown would get it
+printed, and scattered broadcast over the Shetland Islands. I believe it
+would furnish unique food for thought even to sinners on the mainland.
+
+Mr. Brown received me with extreme kindness, and invited me inside to
+see his school. I heard his senior class read, and thought the
+pronunciation extremely good. About 12.55 the attention of the pupils
+became visibly impaired; glances were furtively cast towards the door;
+there was a feeling of expectancy all along the benches. Suddenly the
+door sprang open, as if by some violent external impact, and a
+middle-aged dame entered, carrying in each hand a large pail of steaming
+potato-soup. Accompanying her was a young woman with dozens of small
+pewter basins, and large spoons. I never saw such expeditious ladling,
+such quick distribution, such speed of consumption, and such manifest
+enjoyment all round. The steam of the soup obscured the wall-maps, and
+the parsing exercise on the blackboard. The children could get as many
+helpings as nature would permit, _for one farthing_. When the mist
+cleared away, teacher and taught once more proceeded to tackle simple
+proportion and analysis of sentences. I personally examined the soup,
+and found it to be "nae skinking ware that jaups in luggies."
+
+
+SOME SURPRISES.
+
+Some surprises are in store for one who calls in casually at some of the
+remoter schools. I have more than once found the teacher _giving
+instruction in his shirt sleeves_. In one school, I saw the master with
+_a large melodeon_ (the Board being too stingy to supply a piano),
+giving an inharmonious accompaniment to the musical drill. I got a
+dreadful surprise on meeting the schoolmaster of a district in Jura: the
+unfortunate gentleman was _stone-deaf_, his auditory nerves being
+completely destroyed. Yet he managed, unaided, a school of forty-seven
+pupils, and got excellent reports. The case is unparalleled in my
+experience, and I should not have believed it possible had I not
+personally seen the man at his work. He heard with his eyes, and could
+most nimbly interpret what his pupils said by watching their lips. The
+scholars liked him, and did not attempt to take advantage of his defect.
+In another insular school, I was introduced to a lady-teacher who had
+_lost both her arms in youth_, and who, in consequence, has been forced
+to bring up her pupils entirely on the principles of moral suasion. By
+holding the pen with her teeth, she can write a fine running _hand_ (if
+I may say so without violence to language). She is an extremely clever
+lady: it was a treat to see how well she could control the children with
+a word or a glance.
+
+Some teachers in the Lowlands complain of children playing truant. That
+vice is not common in the Highlands, but it exists to a slight extent.
+
+In my presence the teacher of a school in Skye made the absentees of
+the previous day, write out their reasons for non-attendance. I give
+some of the typical answers:
+
+ (i.) Dear Sir,--I had to work all day at the peats.
+
+ (ii.) I was kept at home for harrowing with the horses.
+
+ (iii.) I was herding the lambs and keeping them from the sheep.
+
+ (iv.) _I was on the shore all day, but I will not do it again._
+
+
+ARRAN SCHOOLS.
+
+The Arran schools that I had the pleasure of visiting struck me as being
+very well managed. It is wonderful how much excellent work some of these
+country children get through. The schools are almost all supplied with
+Paisley libraries, and thus the pupils, under the guidance of their
+masters, can overtake an extensive course of reading in British authors.
+At Loch Ranza the higher pupils study Shakespeare, Shelley, and
+Wordsworth.[23]
+
+There is no desire whatever on the part of the young people to be taught
+the language of their forefathers. As a consequence, Gaelic is rapidly
+dying out in the island. Twenty years ago it was the language of the
+playground at Whiting Bay: now the pupils speak English only. At my
+request the teacher there addressed a few Gaelic phrases to the
+assembled children, but only two knew what he was saying. In the
+neighbourhood of Lagg, there is a more general knowledge of the
+venerable tongue.
+
+In spite of the decay of Gaelic, Arran has produced some Celtic scholars
+of great brilliancy, the most eminent being the late Dr. Cameron of
+Brodick. Mr. Kennedy of Caticol has made a great reputation for himself
+in philology: he is in touch with Celtic scholarship on the Continent
+and is also an adept in Irish Gaelic. In his manse, I saw a famous
+Celtic manuscript, the _Fernaig MS._, a brown-leaved passbook, full of
+old poems written carefully in a very small neat hand. It is said to be
+worth L2,000, but not having that amount of loose cash about me, I could
+not gratify myself by offering to purchase it.
+
+ [23] A striking object-lesson on the instability of mortal life
+ is permanently given to the Loch Ranza pupils by the proximity of
+ the churchyard, which is just over the wall from the school. The
+ thoughtful visitor should not fail to read the tombstones. If a
+ lover of books, he will be interested in learning that the
+ founder of the famous publishing firm of Messrs. Macmillan
+ belonged to the North Cock farm near Loch Ranza. The pensive
+ moralist will perhaps be most affected by an old stone, A.D.
+ 1813, declaring that Elspa Macmillan left this _inhospitable
+ world_, aged 86. _That_ was no rash inference.
+
+
+SCIENCE AND LITERATURE.
+
+Those rural teachers cannot be too strongly commended who combine
+literary studies with work in the open air. I know some masters who
+encourage their pupils to collect, say, all the flowers mentioned in
+Wordsworth and Burns. That is idealising the study of botany in a most
+delicious way. Wordsworth's descriptions of flowers are nothing less
+than divine: to take a single example out of hundreds, his lines on the
+daffodils beginning--
+
+ "I wandered lonely as a cloud."
+
+Even the gayest of our lyrists, Herrick, has something to say about that
+flower that is as powerful as a sermon. Birds, trees, and flowers
+should, as far as possible, be known by all the young people, and some
+poetic word associated with each. It is astonishing how accurately our
+best poets describe the objects of nature, and how their imaginative
+touches show insight and give a pleasure above mere science. Spenser's
+catalogue of the trees is worth knowing by heart. All the vicissitudes
+of the changing months have their apt poetical descriptions if we only
+look for them. Cowper, Thomson, and Wordsworth might be especially
+recommended to pupils for their brilliant word-painting of landscape. I
+cannot think of a finer adjunct to the teaching of open-air science than
+the auxiliary descriptions of such great masters of verse.
+
+As Mendelssohn composed _songs_ without words, so may the schoolmaster
+give _lessons_ of the most powerful import without a word being spoken.
+A beautiful interior in a schoolroom is a silent lesson in order and
+good taste. Beauty and order have a most valuable influence on the
+emotions and the character. It is a pleasure to see the attention that
+is now given to the cultivation of taste. Clean, bright class-rooms;
+pictures of artistic merit on the walls; busts; collections of fossils,
+sea-shells, and the like--these are to be found even in remote country
+schools. Such spontaneous education of the eye is something that cannot
+be overestimated for importance and fruitfulness.
+
+Lord Avebury puts the case for artistic environment very well indeed.
+"Our great danger in education," he says, "is the worship of
+book-learning--the confusion of instruction and education. We strain the
+memory instead of cultivating the mind. The children are wearied by the
+mechanical act of writing and the interminable intricacies of spelling;
+they are oppressed by columns of dates, by lists of kings and places,
+which convey no definite idea to their minds, and have no near relation
+to their daily wants and occupations. We ought to follow exactly the
+opposite course, and endeavour to cultivate their taste rather than fill
+their minds with dry facts."
+
+There is one precious faculty that runs the risk of being stifled by too
+much memory work. I mean the faculty of imagination. Youth is the time
+when fancy is busy; it is the period when the brain can furnish
+unlimited scaffolding for castles in the air. Wordsworth was so
+impressed, indeed, by the opulence of the youthful fancy, that he could
+only account for it by supposing recent contact with heaven.
+
+
+STUDY OF SCOTT.
+
+I sometimes think that in the training of the youthful intellect and
+imagination we have not made sufficient use of the novels and romances
+of Scott. Of late years a great improvement is noticeable in this
+respect, and Scott is coming to be regarded as (for school purposes) our
+greatest historian. In some schools, as Lord Avebury has hinted, it was
+formerly thought that pupils knew history adequately when they could
+rattle off a list of dates and tell something of the deeds and misdeeds
+of a set of unhappy persons who masqueraded as statesmen and courtiers.
+Such unedifying farce has nothing to do with history, which is a
+serious, instructive, and all-embracing study. The social life of the
+great mass of a nation is far more important and interesting than the
+eccentric deeds of a few high-placed rogues or saints. The old
+school-history was, unfortunately, too often a glum compendium of
+insignificant detail, told without breadth of view or fire of
+restorative imagination.
+
+In the history of Scotland, most of what is worth knowing may be most
+enjoyably learned from the pages of Sir Walter. Hardly any epoch of
+Caledonian annals, hardly any county in the land has escaped the
+treatment of his masterly hand. From the Borders to the rain-lashed
+Shetlands (the _Pirate_ deals with gusty Thule), from Perth to Morven,
+the great wizard has made his country known to all lands. In his stories
+the past faithfully reproduces itself, and we are impressed, instructed,
+and amused.
+
+
+THE OLD CLASSICAL DOMINIE.
+
+It is a pleasure to think that a few of the old school of Scotch
+dominies, who date from before the 1872 Act, are still to the fore, and
+still engaged in teaching. They have all fixity of tenure, and so enjoy
+the privilege of criticising, as adversely as they like, the degeneracy
+of modern educational developments. These "_old parochials_," as they
+are called, are men of good scholarship, well versed in Horace and
+Virgil, and generally fond of snuff and Latin quotations.
+
+The Act of 1872 did a great deal for elementary education, but very
+little indeed to encourage that type of higher instruction, which was
+the glory of the old parish school. Ian Maclaren and other writers have
+given pleasant sketches of country schoolmasters who were strong in the
+ancient tongues, and who sent their pupils straight to the benches of
+the University. I believe such men as "Domsey" were quite common in this
+country. Porteous, whom I knew, was one of these. Porteous was a
+philologist second to none in these realms, and was on intimate terms of
+acquaintanceship with the famous Veitch, who gave such a _redding up_ to
+the Greek verbs. It was very amusing to hear the complete way in which
+Porteous could silence some imperial young examining professor on the
+weighty subject of classical derivation. The latter would appeal to some
+such authority as Curtius, whereupon Porteous would unlock the desk in
+which lay the tawse, and taking therefrom a copy of the invoked Curtius,
+open it at the root in question, and display the page all marked with
+pencil corrections and emendations. In support of his views, would come
+such a torrent of erudition from half a score of Classical, Sanscrit,
+Gothic, and Anglo-Saxon rills, that the young professor would feel "like
+one of sense forlorn," and be fain to put palm to forehead in dazed
+amazement. A pupil learning the rudiments under such a teacher, was
+dazzled rather than instructed by the ruthless surgery of words that
+constantly went on. No word was too small for Porteous to operate upon:
+he settled _hoti's_ business, and could so inflate Greek vocables by
+supplying digammas and dropped consonants, that Plato would have
+disowned them. Give him chalk, a blackboard, and a class of six, and he
+would in ten minutes fill the board with hieroglyphics, curves,
+arrow-headed diagonals, etc., all meant to illustrate the relationships,
+divergencies, and contrarieties of the Aryan roots. His life was spent
+in the company of these radicals, and he could call them forth out of
+their trickiest hiding-places. In the midst of his chalky toil, he would
+turn round with radiant glee as if to say, "This is a merry and exciting
+trade: it is my fun and is as good as poaching or golf." But woe betide
+the youth who showed levity. Soon would there be weeping and wailing and
+tingling of palms. His reputation for strap-wielding made roots
+respected.
+
+Another teacher of the school of Porteous was Thomas Taylor, whose death
+I saw announced a few weeks ago. Where has all _his_ Greek lore gone to,
+so assiduously cultivated, so continuously added to? If Taylor's soul is
+ever re-incarnated in a mortal body, it is absurd to suppose that he
+must begin to learn the Greek alphabet just like a novice. His clay is
+indeed mixed with the clay of common men, but I love to think of him
+dwelling on the other side of the River in the meads of asphodel,
+discussing with kindred shades, the topics he delighted to handle when
+he was here. With tearful eye I pen these doleful decasyllabics to his
+memory:--
+
+ What chums Tom Taylor and Charles Lamb had been
+ O'er bottled porter and the _Fairy Queen_!
+ In youth, one day, seeking forbidden fruit
+ Tom tumbled from the branches with his loot,
+ And broken bones compelled the lad to go
+ On straddling crutches, warily and slow,
+ Counting the pebbles on his path below.
+ The noisy pleasures of the open air,
+ The football kicked exuberant here and there.
+ Cricket, beloved of sinewy juvenals,
+ And golf with all its hazards, clubs and balls,
+ Were not in Taylor's province: so he turned
+ To calmer pastimes where the ingle burned,
+ And when the whole world turned to _goals_ and _tees_
+ He took to _Iliads_ and to _Odysseys_.
+ He'd croon like one possessed the magic strain
+ Of heroes tossed along the unvintaged main,
+ And, crutch aloft in air, would fondly beat
+ Time to the rushing of the poet's feet.
+ Poetry was all his solace: those bright dames
+ That old Dan Chaucer in his rapture names,
+ And those in Villon's pages that appear
+ As dazzling-white as snows of yester-year,
+ Trooped past his eye in long procession fair.
+ O, Sovereign Virgin, what a crowd was there!
+ Helen, alas! with Paris by her side,
+ On the high deck crossing the sunny tide,
+ Circe, bright-moving in her godlike bloom
+ Before the throbbing music of the loom.
+ The love-lorn heroines of Shakespeare's plays,
+ The red-cheeked country girls of Burns's lays,
+ Would to his raptured eye the tear-drop bring,
+ And set his crazy quill a-sonnetting.
+
+
+VOGUE OF LATIN IN FORMER TIMES.
+
+The old-world schoolmaster believed Latin was a universal specific. He
+loved the language and knew all the flock of frisky little exceptions of
+gender and conjugation, even as a shepherd knows his sheep. He gave his
+pupils gentle doses of the _Delectus_, and watched with eager, almost
+menacing, eye, for the working of the charm. It is quite possible that
+no pupil ever went over that _Delectus_, with its world-weary fragments
+of trite morality, without a feeling of pleasure at the _Decline and
+Fall of the Roman Empire_. Yet it was educative, and moreover a boy was
+equipped for life with quotations suiting every juncture. Fate was
+powerless against one who had mastered the _Delectus_. The faculty of
+Latin quotation was to some extent also a badge of respectability.
+Fancy, too, the glory of being the exclusive possessor in a mixed
+company of the knowledge that Castor and Pollux came out of the one egg!
+It was a sore drawback to a boy once upon a time if he were shaky on the
+compounds of _fero_.
+
+"_The pest of the present day is the prevalence of examinations_:"
+these, it is alleged, have destroyed the grand old freedom of learning
+which gave full scope for the individuality alike of teacher and pupil.
+Oh! those were days of the gods, when five hours were spent daily
+burrowing in Virgil and Horace! Arcadia was realised--a sunny clime of
+Nymphs, Fauns, and Graces. The supreme luxury of abundant time--the
+leisurely chewing of sweet-phrased morsels--is gone: it is gone, that
+chastity of phrase and perfection of idiom, which felt a bad quantity
+like a wound. The examination craze has destroyed the classical dominie,
+and the intrusion of science, falsely so-called, has well-nigh
+asphyxiated the Napaeae of the dells. It was formerly possible for the
+teacher to develop to the full his literary taste and declaim the
+sonorous tit-bits of Virgil till the tears started from his eyes. Now
+the instructors of youth seem to regard the works of the tuneful Mantuan
+as composed for the purpose of illustrating the use of the Latin
+subjunctive. Youths cannot get at the Aeneid, the spirit and majesty of
+it, I mean, owing to the pestilential numbers of grammatical
+reminiscences recalled by almost every line. When once you begin to set
+examination papers on a subject, the romance seems to evaporate. There
+is something withering about test-questions. This modern disease of
+grammatical annotation, engendered largely by prosaic examiners, who
+have published grammars, is spreading to the English Classics, and we
+may soon expect Burns to furnish a text for exceptional scansion,
+bob-wheel metrics and general philological catechising. Items which
+glide effortless into the brain in desultory reading are not so easily
+remembered if the examination is in store. Certain gentlemen have
+recently been reading Milton with a pair of compasses in order to
+discover the exact point of the caesural pause in every line: they give
+figures, strike percentages, and set questions which even the leading
+character in "Paradise Lost" couldn't answer. Literary microscopy is
+likely to ruin Shakespeare's reputation in school and would have done so
+long ago but for Lamb's _Tales_--a darling compilation and by far the
+best introduction to the poet. "_Shakespeare is a horrid man_" is the
+deliberate verdict of the schoolgirl who has been teased to death by the
+notes within the tawny covers of the Clarendon Press Edition. And fancy
+what Chaucer's Prologue must seem like, taught by a man bent only on
+philological hunts, variant readings, and a complete explanation of all
+the final e's.
+
+
+TEACHERS AND EXAMINATIONS.
+
+It has always seemed to me a matter for surprise that those who had for
+years studied the elements of Latin and Greek at school (and that with
+no small difficulty), should entirely neglect these tongues afterwards
+and read nothing composed in them. Most elaborate preparations are made
+to reach the Promised Land, but the weary passenger never gets there.
+Can it be that the preparations are too elaborate?[24] They are
+certainly not very interesting, and are, indeed, well fitted to disgust
+pupils with the classical tongues. Sir William Ramsay of Aberdeen, in a
+letter to the _Herald_ some time ago, spoke strongly on this subject.
+
+Sir William says, with justice, that a teacher should teach his subject
+without any thought of examination. Every teacher would like to do that
+if he could. As a matter of fact, the secondary schoolmaster is forced
+to become a crammer. He codifies the catch questions of previous
+university preliminaries, excogitates similar weird lists of anomalies
+and exceptions, and doses the pupils on such stuff instead of really
+teaching the important parts of his subject. Experience seems to prove
+that the most effective way of rendering a subject dry, uneducational,
+and generally useless is to set examination papers on it. What can be
+more outrageous and grotesque than the practice of setting
+out-of-the-way questions because of the ease thus afforded to the
+examiners in correcting the answers of the helpless and puzzled
+candidates! Even though the questions set were plain and
+straightforward, it would be absurd to suppose that an hour or two in an
+examination hall could furnish sufficient data to pass or fail a
+candidate.
+
+It used to be the glory of our universities that an average college
+class contained representatives of every grade of society in the land.
+Professor Ramsay says it is not so now: the professors have become
+pedagogic coaches, and the students grind rather than study. Sir William
+assures us that many who would make good students are frightened away by
+the preliminary examination. It would be interesting to know where these
+latter go when they leave school. Do they rush off to business at once,
+or do they proceed with their education in some extra-mural way? If they
+can afford the time, the university is certainly the place for them. Let
+the university gates be opened as wide as possible to all serious-minded
+youths, and let it be remembered that it is not necessarily those who
+sweat most over their books or take the highest honours that get most
+good from attendance at the lectures.
+
+It does not appear that, at present, our universities are adequately in
+touch with the nation. The great commercial community of Glasgow does
+not benefit nearly enough from having a famous seat of learning in its
+midst. We might learn a lesson from the Sorbonne how best to nationalise
+our universities. In Paris, the lecture halls are open to all, and it is
+possible for either native or foreigner to listen for hours daily, if he
+be so minded, to some of the finest and most erudite orators and
+scholars of Europe. There are, it is true, special students' courses,
+from which the general public is excluded, but the most important
+lectures are open to all. Hence the Sorbonne is a national institution
+in every sense of the word. I do not say that Glasgow does not benefit a
+little from the corps of professors at Gilmorehill. But the benefit is
+spasmodic, discontinuous, and extremely limited. Some of the professors
+do at times come down into the open and speak words of wisdom. But more
+is wanted than that if the universities are to be saved from
+denationalisation. We hear of Dugald Stewart's class-room being, in the
+old days, crowded with the keenest intellects of the Capital. But a
+university was not then a kind of higher-grade secondary school.
+
+ [24] It is a notorious fact that very few graduates, when they
+ leave college, are able to read Latin from an author they have
+ not specially studied, with ease or pleasure. For this melancholy
+ fact there are several reasons. The range of reading is miserably
+ meagre. Only a few authors are read, and almost every sentence of
+ these is cumbered with such an amount of annotation as to render
+ progress and literary appreciation alike painful. Composition in
+ Latin absorbs far too much time: the first duty of the teacher
+ ought to be to turn out pupils who can read Latin with fluency.
+ No amount of grammatical detail or laborious composition, as at
+ present practised, will ever make up for the lack of wide
+ reading. Professor Phillimore's recent suggestion that the
+ less-known authors should be read more than they are, is wise and
+ opportune. The authors he mentions would furnish a welcome relief
+ from the unspeakable dreariness of over-annotated texts.
+
+
+HOWLERS.
+
+Almost every schoolmaster I have met, either in the Highlands or
+Lowlands, has his budget of anecdotes, usually dealing with children's
+answers or the droll eccentricities of the local School Board. The
+answers of children are invariably entertaining; and I wish the
+Educational Institute of Scotland would appoint a committee to codify
+the howlers that come under the notice of its members. A collection of
+genuine howlers would be no unimportant service to the science of
+juvenile psychology. Let it be remembered that the eminent Professor
+Sully considered it in no way derogatory to his philosophical status to
+write on the subject of _dolls_. In bi-lingual districts children's
+answers would have a special value. Children are everywhere, of course,
+more or less bird-witted and inattentive. Here is a story which
+illustrates what Latin scholars call _contaminatio_. A teacher had given
+a lesson on the geography of Kent, laying special stress on Canterbury,
+as giving a title to the Anglican primate, and on Greenwich as the place
+through which, on the map, the first meridian is made to pass. At the
+close of the lesson, he wished to test the scholars, and asked one of
+them what Canterbury was famous for. At once came the glib reply:
+"Canterbury is the seat of an _archbishop through whom the first
+meridian passes_." The difficulty young pupils have in concentrating
+their ideas, is largely accountable for many of the diverting essays we
+have all heard and seen. On a recent visit to the romantic shores of
+Skye, I was shown the following essay on Water: "Water is a liquid, but
+in winter you can slide on it. In all kinds of water, little beasts
+occur to a greater or to a less extent. Even a great amount of heat
+cannot kill these curious little animals. _Hence some people prefer
+spirits._" From the same quarter I procured this nugget on patriotism.
+"Patriotism is love of country such as we see in Burns or Sir Walter
+Scott. Burns and Sir Walter wrote beautiful lines about their native
+land, and thousands of tourists came and circulated their money there.
+_It would be telling us_ if writers would imitate these great patriots
+in our day." Many of the young scribes on the mainland can also indulge
+in a deal of brilliant irrelevancy. One of them being asked to write an
+essay on "Rivers," began thus: "_In ancient times, the chief use of
+rivers was for the baptizing of converts_." Another, in the course of a
+short life of King Alfred, made a strong point of that monarch's
+humility, adding, "In order to discover the plans of the Danes, he
+demeaned himself so far as to go to their camp _disguised as a poet_."
+The annual blue book of the Scotch Education Department used to include
+a recreative series of howlers that had been sent up in the various
+reports of the Government Inspectors. These tit-bits were well
+calculated to keep up the gaiety of nations. Of late years these howlers
+have been excised, but if Scotland had Home Rule they might re-appear.
+
+The finer attenuations of speech are unknown to the soaring human boy.
+I was shown an essay on Ireland the other day in which the young writer
+compendiously remarked, "_The Irish are a bloodthirsty, lazy, and
+resentful race_." On Wordsworth, another juvenile critic thus expressed
+himself: "_Wordsworth's compositions are utter bosh_." The following
+extract is from an "Essay on the '15": "_The Rising of '15 was a failure
+because the Old Pretender was an unmitigated ass. Fancy an ass trying to
+take charge of a Rebellion!_"
+
+A genial gentleman, Mr. Sneyd-Kynnersley, who retired from the
+Inspectorate some years ago, published in 1908 a book of choice
+reminiscences, containing some good specimens of schoolboy answers. Some
+of his howlers have long been known in the North: but a howler (like
+history) is wont to repeat itself. I saw in a Paisley boy's essay on
+Lambert Simnel the following sentence: "Lambert Simnel was a claimant
+for the English crown, and went about the country boasting that he was
+one of the princes who had been murdered in the Tower." Mr. Kynnersley's
+examinee wrote thus: "Prince Charles Edward claimed to be one of the
+little princes murdered in the Tower. He was found to be a deceiver, and
+was put into the king's kitchen to work."
+
+A boy once told Mr. Kynnersley that _a quorum is a question asked at a
+meeting which the chairman is unable to answer_. I saw a definition of
+paradox, equally absurd: "_A paradox is something which is apparently
+not what it seems to be_."
+
+It is a favourite geographical test to require a pupil to describe a
+coast journey between two seaports, and mention capes, rivers, and towns
+seen on the way. "Describe a trip from Greenock to the Isle of Man,"
+said a teacher to his class; "I give you an hour to write it out." Very
+few were past Lochryan at the hour's end. One daring youth took his
+boat, which he christened "_The Comet_," right round the Mull of
+Kintyre, with intent to reach Douglas by way of Cape Wrath, the North
+Sea, Dover, Land's End, and St. George's Channel. When time was up, the
+_Comet_, all torn and tattered by the strumpet wind, was beating round
+the north end of Skye. That boy will, in all probability, turn out a
+deep-sea captain.
+
+"How many days are there in a year?" asked an inspector of a class of
+Highland youngsters. No answer was given. "Tut, tut," said the inspector
+testily, "this is ridiculous. Is there _no one_ who knows how many days
+there are in the year?" "Oh, yes, sir," said a boy reproachfully, "_God
+knows_."
+
+"What kind of king was William III.?" inquired another examiner. "He had
+an aquiline nose, sir," said a boy. "What does that mean?" said the
+examiner. "_It means_," answered the boy, "_that William III.'s nose was
+turned up at the point like the beak of an eagle!_" "What right had
+William to the English throne?" continued the examiner, changing his
+ground. "_No right under heaven_," was the forceful Jacobite rejoinder.
+
+Here is a tale, from the eastern seaboard of Scotland.
+
+_Inspector_, M.A., Ph.D., LL.D., etc. (examining a class of ten-year
+olds): "Now, boys, what is the shape of the earth?"
+
+_Boy:_ "Roon, like an orange."
+
+_Inspector:_ "But how do I _know_, how can I be _sure_ that the earth is
+round like an orange?"
+
+_Boy:_ "_Because I tell't ye._"
+
+Pupils show great affection for the phrases of their text-books. Not
+long ago, at a written examination, a lad wrote in reply to a historical
+question which was puzzling him: "_The answer to this question is known
+only to the Great Searcher of Hearts_." What could the boy mean? Was it
+"cheek," ignorance, or piety? It was none of these. _It was Collier!_
+About thirty years ago, Dr. Collier, a modern Euphuist, composed a
+_History of England_, which deserves to be reckoned among the glories of
+the reign. Carlyle may be great, but Collier is greater: Collier is a
+theologian, philosopher, and _a' that_. The style of his history is a
+wondrous blend of _Ossian_ and Hervey's _Meditations among the Tombs_;
+and its special peculiarity is that the words, owing to some feature,
+never really analysed, linger in the mind long after the sentences of
+the Shorter Catechism have become blurred. Collier is strong in
+tropes--a highly-dangerous feature. It is no doubt true, as he says,
+that William the Conqueror ruled with a rod of iron, but when a boy,
+after reading this metaphor, asserts that that sovereign ruled his
+subjects _with a long iron pole_, you begin to question the utility of
+historical study. "Joy-bells pealed and bonfires blazed," is a phrase of
+the Doctor's which sets all the caverns of the mind ringing, even though
+its historical setting is long forgotten. But unction is the chief
+feature of the history: there is a rotund finality about the author's
+spacious utterances, and a dodging of investigation by means of pious
+generalisations. The book has all the effect of a benediction. When it
+is really too tiresome to inquire into all the authorities on some
+affair of magnitude, it is so respectable to sum up in the phrase
+imitated by the youth alluded to above.
+
+It is in the Secondary Schools of the country that the confusion of
+thought is apt to be most painfully seen. Far too much is attempted, and
+the pupils are overworked. A teacher in the neighbourhood of Glasgow, a
+_laudator temporis acti_, has a manuscript collection of howlers, drawn
+from elementary, secondary, and university sources, with the following
+fearful lines as a preface:--
+
+ "Ye statesmen all, of high or humble station,
+ Collective conscience of the British nation,
+ Whether the frothing vat has made your name
+ Or tropes in carpet-bags begot your fame,
+ Behold the _product_ of the education
+ Wherewith is dosed the rising generation.
+ And see the modern devotee of cram
+ At midnight hour hard-grinding for the exam.,
+ A moistened towel garlanding his brow,
+ And coffee simmering on the hob below.
+ High on a three-legged stool uncushioned, he
+ Sits glowering through his goggles painfully,
+ Nagging his brain with all a grinder's might
+ Till _one_ sounds on the drowsy ear of night.
+ Like Sibyl's leaves the papers strew his floor
+ Wrought-out examples, 'wrinkles' by the score,
+ Conundrums algebraic, 'tips' on Conics
+ And thorny 'props' remembered by mnemonics.
+ Betweenwhiles as the slow time lagging goes,
+ He takes the spectacles from off his nose,
+ Removes the damper from his aching head,
+ Pours out the coffee, cuts a slice of bread,
+ Sips wistfully the liquid from his cup:
+ The zeal to pass the exam. has eaten _him_ up.
+ Thrice happy ye! born 'neath the ancient reign
+ When _Tityre tu_ alone possessed the brain
+ (Ere Tyndall's tubes made sweating students numb)
+ And the whole aim of life was _di, do, dum_."
+
+
+COMPETING SUBJECTS.
+
+So numerous indeed are the subjects of the school curriculum in our day
+that howlers and confusion are bound to result. Formerly there was but
+one scheme (containing classics, mathematics, and a little English), and
+everybody took it. Now there is a kind of competition among the
+departments of a school as to which is the most culturing. When a fond
+mother asks the opinion of the masters as to what course of study her
+boy (whom she is entitled to think a genius of the first order) ought to
+pursue, she is often puzzled by the variety of answers. Mr. Test-tube,
+the Science Master, invariably prescribes an extensive course of
+chemistry. If a boy is to be a lawyer, he ought to know the principles
+of atomic combination and the doctrine of gases; if he thinks of the
+ministry, why then, having a thorough acquaintance with science, he will
+be competent to close the mouths of heretics, infidels, and such vermin.
+Dr. Aorist, on the other hand, believes that a sound knowledge of "_qui_
+with the subjunctive" is a splendid sheet-anchor for every squall in
+life's rude sea. "I wish my boy to be a civil engineer; what advice
+would you give me as to his studies?" "I have no hesitation in
+affirming," the Doctor replies, "that the boy will build bridges all
+the better if he has his mind expanded and (so to speak) broadened by
+the study of subjects outside his special trade, such, _e.g._, as the
+interesting fact that in ancient times 'All Gaul was divided into three
+parts.'"
+
+The average boy has an impartial mind. As a rule, he has no prejudice in
+favour of either science or letters, his maxim being never to do to-day
+what he can put off till to-morrow.
+
+ His favourite books for home
+ Are buccaneering combats on the foam,
+ Or grim detective tales of Scotland Yard,
+ Where gleams the bull's-eye lamp and drips the poniard.
+
+Parents may be reminded that the wide spaces of the colonies remain to
+be peopled and that many a _stickit minister_ might have made a
+first-class empire-builder.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+A TRIP TO SHETLAND.
+
+ Aberdeen--En route--Lerwick--Past and present saints--Some notes
+ on the islands--A Shetland poet--A visit to Bressay--From
+ Lerwick to Sandwick--Quarff--"That holy man,
+ Noah"--Fladibister--Cunningsburgh--"Keeping off"--The indignant
+ elder--Torquil Halcrow--Philology--A Sandwick gentleman--Local
+ tales--Foulah and Fair Isle--The fishing season.
+
+
+ABERDEEN.
+
+The most expeditious and comfortable way of getting to Shetland is by
+way of Aberdeen.
+
+I have passed through the city of _Bon Accord_ about six times during
+the last twelvemonth, and like it better the more I see of it. It is one
+of the stateliest towns in Britain, and its main street, spacious, airy,
+and symmetrical, is hard to match. The architectural taste of the new
+University Buildings is perfect, and will be more striking still to the
+casual visitor, when the unsightly buildings all round have been torn
+down. It would be worth while going to Aberdeen if for nothing but to
+see the superb stretch of sandy beach between the mouths of the Don and
+the Dee: one could sit and dream away a whole forenoon there and be
+entirely oblivious to the proximity of a large town.
+
+The finest tribute paid to Aberdeen was written nearly four hundred
+years ago by the great Scotch poet, William Dunbar. Three years before
+Flodden, Queen Margaret passed through the town, and Dunbar, who
+accompanied her, was so delighted with the hospitality, loyalty, and
+lavish expenditure of the magistrates, that he wrote a eulogistic poem
+to commemorate the occasion. Dunbar carried away the impression that
+Aberdeen was a _blythe_ place:
+
+ "_Blythe_ Aberdeen thou beryl of all tounis,
+ Thou lamp of beauty, bounty and _blitheness_."
+
+I do not find that the town has produced many poets, but it has been the
+cause of poetry in others.[25] A few years ago Mr. William Watson, out
+of gratitude for the LL.D. bestowed on him by the University, wrote a
+pleasant sonnet in which Aberdeen is represented as
+
+ "Beaming benignant o'er the northern main."
+
+As I sat on the seashore, repeating to myself the lines of Mr. Watson's
+poem, and breathing the fresh air, which an official of the bath-house
+told me was _made in Germany_ (meaning thereby that the wind was blowing
+from the east), the thought struck me that it would be a pardonable
+pastime to employ the spare time I had before the boat started for
+Lerwick, in writing a _Sonnet to Mr. William Watson_. In such
+exercitations it is necessary to employ the second person singular:
+
+ Watson! I would thy pen were fluenter,
+ And yet, perchance, thou usest stores of ink,
+ Ampler than any of thy readers think,
+ In blotting that wherein the first quick stir
+ Of thought and genius made the language err.
+ If Heaven had lent thy polished Muse a blink
+ Of saving humour for her crambo-clink,
+ Then never-dying fame had fallen to her.
+ Yet Heaven be thanked for what it has bestowed
+ On thee of what is tunefullest and best:
+ The trim epistle, the heart-stirring ode,
+ The witching freshness of a _Prince's Quest_,
+ The soft romance that dreams of years gone by,
+ Bright noons and dewy glades of Arcady.
+
+ [25] A recent publication shows that Greek verse is well written
+ at the University. Paisley folk should know that an Aberdonian
+ Hellenist has put some of Tannahill's verses into Greek.
+
+
+EN ROUTE.
+
+The little steamer that plies between Aberdeen and Lerwick is timed to
+leave the former port at 11.30 a.m., _or as soon afterwards as the tide
+will permit_. Often the boat does not leave for some hours after 11.30
+a.m., the tide not being always to blame. What a capacity the boat has
+for empty barrels! I counted six heaped lorry-loads of them that were
+rolled on board, destined, later on, to be filled with herring up north
+among the islands.
+
+It is extremely interesting (see Virgil III., 690) to stand in calm
+weather on the deck of a moving vessel and talk about the notable places
+on the coast with one who knows them well. Much information of a varied
+and piquant kind may thus be acquired. The Aberdeenshire coast is rather
+unpicturesque, but many historical legends linger airily on the stern
+old ruins that are passed from time to time. I omit mention of these,
+preferring to tell an anecdote of recent years that is associated with
+the immense rocky sea-caverns, of world-wide fame, not far from Cruden
+Bay. During the Boer War, some Scotch journalists, strong in the science
+of genealogy, undertook to prove that all the generals at the front had
+Scotch blood in their veins. It seems that these patriotic penmen
+succeeded quite easily in making their contention good with respect to
+all the generals _save one_. No Scotch lineage could be found for
+General Buller. The difficulty was at last surmounted by the felicitous
+conjecture that he was one of the famous _Bullers of Buchan_!
+
+About eight miles past Cruden Bay is Peterhead, the most easterly town
+in Britain. Great efforts are being made at present to boom this place
+as a health resort. I have heard it said that "printers who die at 30 of
+consumption elsewhere, weigh 21 stone at over threescore in Peterhead,"
+also that "centenarians there have been known to get up at 5.30 a.m., to
+chop wood, no chill or bacillus daring to make them afraid." The Home
+Office has long thought highly of Peterhead as a place of permanent
+retreat for those afflicted with ethical infirmities.
+
+After Peterhead is left behind, the steamer soon gets entirely away from
+land. All night long she battles through the surges, passes about 2 a.m.
+the lonely Fair Isle, encompassed by the rushing roost, and two hours
+later Sumburgh Head is visible. The approach to Bressay, especially if
+the rocks and precipices are half seen through driving haze, is
+suggestive, to a student, of the landscape of "Beowulf," with its _windy
+walls_, _shadow-helms_, _broad nesses_, and _glimmering sea-cliffs_.
+
+As seen from the sea, Lerwick looks trim and picturesque, but when the
+visitor lands, he is apt to lose his bearings among its tortuous lanes.
+I followed a porter who was tottering under the weight of trunks, and
+asked him, as we treaded a flag-paved vennel: "Is it far to the main
+street?" He grimly replied: "This _is_ the main street, sir." The
+response unnerved me, shaky as I was with seventeen hours' tossing on
+the North Sea. Once in the hotel, my spirits rose. A most welcome and
+savoury breakfast--consumed near an open window commanding a view over a
+sun-lit sound--is well able to hearten the most downcast.
+
+
+LERWICK.
+
+The town of Lerwick is indeed one of the finest of our island capitals,
+and is constantly becoming finer. No visitor can fail to be impressed by
+its unique natural harbour, gloriously screened by the God-given shelter
+of the island of Bressay. Commercial Street, which runs along the
+water's edge, is at the foot of a hill, and is so narrow in parts that
+two vehicles can hardly get past each other. If I stayed in Lerwick, I
+should not like to have any resident enemies, for it would be difficult
+to keep from brushing clothes with them in the main street. Up from this
+main street to the newer town, on a plateau at the top, run numerous
+quaint wynds, sinuous, and not always well-scavenged. This new and
+well-built part contains the far-seen and notable Town Hall, the
+architecture of which would have pleased Ruskin, especially as its fine
+windows are all appositely illustrative of Shetlandic annals. By
+climbing the dusty clock-tower, one has a splendid view of all
+surrounding slopes and seas.
+
+Here is a hint to prospective tourists. Take to the left when you quit
+the hall, get down the lane leading to the sea-crags, and walk for two
+miles in the direction of the rifle-range. It is a glorious and solitary
+walk--not altogether solitary, for the sea is invariably good company.
+Don't be so foolish as to keep on your hat: off with it, and let the
+air-borne sea-spume wet your brow. It is also a good thing to recite
+Byron's vigorous "Address to the Ocean,"--the odd cows you may pass will
+not stop their grazing for that. There is no finer air in King Edward's
+dominions than that which blows in this region, for the hill air meets
+the sea air that has come all the way from Norway, and the two coalesce
+to give the rapt pedestrian a mouthful of exhilarating ether. One who is
+really a poet and not merely a casual sonneteer, should try to get a
+site for his tent on this particular shore, and retire to compose an
+epoch-making epic. The mediaeval saints knew what they were doing when
+they retired to little nooks and isles along this coast to pray and
+meditate undisturbed: it is much easier to feel devout in a fresh
+atmosphere, than in the squalor of a town.
+
+
+PAST AND PRESENT SAINTS.
+
+What indeed astonishes the visitor to these northern isles is the
+immense number of ecclesiastical ruins. The Christian missionaries seem
+speedily to have translated their enthusiasm into stone and lime. What
+hymns were chanted and what sermons preached up there in bygone times,
+passes the wit of man to reckon! It is a far cry from Palestine to the
+Shetland creeks and voes, but the voice of the lowly Nazarene
+effectually reached the Celts and Norsemen of these treeless
+storm-lashed isles.
+
+Many of the smaller islands have the appellation _papa_, which
+indicates, as I hinted above, that some monk or hermit, withdrawing from
+the world to pray and meditate, has bequeathed a whiff of sanctity to
+headland and skerry.
+
+"The hermit good lives in the wood," says Coleridge, but for the
+Shetland _papa_ there was no _nemorum murmur_:--
+
+ No sun-illumined leafage met his eye
+ Raised from perusal of the Holy Word,
+ No murmur of the woodland zephyr-stirred
+ Blended with his devotions sped on high,
+ Only the chiding of the billows nigh.
+ The clangour of the wheeling ocean-bird,
+ Or soul-astounding shriek of storm-fiend heard
+ From the dun cloud-battalions hurrying by,
+ Greeted his ear: yet piously through all
+ His life the austere anchorite remained,
+ On his lone island, buffeted by squall
+ And sea, and faithful unto death obtained
+ The promised guerdon that the Lord bestows
+ Upon the pure in heart, and only those.
+
+It has been asserted by those who have means of knowing, that the days
+of theological rigidity are past and gone in the Shetlands. Thing
+unheard of in the Hebrides--the shops are open on Sunday mornings for
+the sale of Saturday's _Scotsman_ and _Herald_. In some parts of
+Scotland you could not hire a trap for a Sunday drive; in others, you
+_might_ manage, by salving the driver's conscience with a double fare.
+In Shetland the tariff is the same for the first and the last days of
+the week. To explain the ecclesiastical differences between the islands
+of the North and the West would require a philosopher with all Buckle's
+shrewdness and ingenuity. Buckle accounted for the sombre nature of
+Scotch theology by dwelling on the awe-inspiring reverberations of
+thunder among the Highland peaks. The easy-going creed of the Shetlands
+might perhaps be accounted for by a reference to the happy-go-lucky way
+in which the sea wanders at will among the confusion of peninsulas,
+islets, and skerries. Any theory is better than none at all, and
+geopsychical explanations are fashionable at present.
+
+The pulpit stars twinkle with great lustre in these boreal regions. A
+country minister, with no preparatory groans, but sharp and trippingly
+thus began his homily some Sundays ago: "It is now thirty-five years
+since the Lord sent me to labour in this part of his vineyard, if
+vineyard I may call it, where no grape was ever seen. On a bright summer
+morning thirty-five years ago, I turned the corner of the road and came
+among you. Young women, your mothers were in the fields, busy with the
+work of the crofts. Your mothers were exceedingly fair to look upon, and
+I am happy to say, my dear young sisters, that, by the providence of
+God, the beauty of your mothers has lost nothing by being transmitted to
+your comely selves. And now for my text, which you will find in Ezekiel,
+chapter _x_ and verse _y_."
+
+
+SOME NOTES ON THE ISLANDS.
+
+A century ago Shetland was almost an unknown land to the Lowlanders of
+Scotland. When a Shetland minister was deputed to attend the General
+Assembly, it might take him a year to get there and back. His journey
+was a very circuitous one: he had to go in a trading vessel to Hamburg,
+take boat from Hamburg to London, and from London proceed to Leith. To
+return from Edinburgh, the journey was performed the reverse way. Now
+that there is a regular service between Aberdeen and Lerwick, and
+between Leith and several of the Shetland ports, the journey can be
+performed with comfort and expedition. Tourists flock North in the
+summer season to admire the scenery, catch the trout, and inhale the
+health-giving breezes.
+
+The natives, being mainly of Norse descent, look with a kindly eye over
+the water in the direction of Bergen. They do not love Scotland, and
+they have their reasons. When the Shetlands were handed over to the
+Scotch kings, numbers of needy adventurers, armed with cheaply-got
+charters, swooped down on the islands and dispossessed the native
+proprietors. This has neither been forgotten nor forgiven. Mr. Russell,
+who lived for three years among them, says:--"They believe that the
+present lairds are interlopers, and that they themselves have been
+defrauded and despoiled. They speak of these things only among
+themselves, and not openly; but those who have been in the country, and
+have gained their confidence, know that there is a strong undercurrent
+of feeling against Scotland and Scotsmen.... They conceive that they
+have a claim even as things are, to dwell on the land, and that a
+proprietor has no right to remove them from his estate." I was
+dreadfully shocked to notice that in a volume of tales published by a
+Lerwick author only four years ago, the leading villain was from the
+mainland. "Scotland is nothing to us," said a Shetlander to an inspector
+of schools. "What has Scotland ever done for us except send us _greedy
+ministers and dear meal_?"
+
+In the old days, when communication with the mainland was uncertain and
+fitful, the luxuries of civilised life were quite unknown. In one
+outlying district a box of oranges was washed ashore from a wreck: these
+the natives boiled, under the impression that the orange was a novel
+kind of potato. A cask of treacle, come by in a similar way, was used
+like tar to daub the bottom of a smack. By and by a cow was seen to lick
+the boat with evident relish, and this opened the eyes of the natives to
+the real nature of the substance. Nowadays the natives are well in line
+with modern civilisation, one of the most convincing proofs being that
+they buy drugs and patent medicines of every kind. One has only to scan
+the advertisement pages of the Shetland newspapers to note the
+persistent way in which quacks of all shades bring their nostrums before
+the notice of the islanders. Dyspepsia and rheumatism are the commonest
+ailments; and to combat these, myriads of pills and numberless elixirs
+are annually swallowed. Faith does a lot even when the drugs of a
+legitimate practitioner are concerned: the fact that you have swallowed
+something with a bitter taste is often a distinct aid to recovery. Mr.
+Russell, whom I referred to above, says: "To my surprise, I learned that
+some who were in extreme poverty, and had hardly enough food to eat,
+were in the habit of sending South for pills and patent medicines."
+
+
+A SHETLAND POET.
+
+Long before I ever thought of visiting Shetland, I was acquainted with
+the dialect spoken there, through having studied a most interesting
+little book of poems called _Rasmie's Buedie_, published in Paisley. The
+author of this book is Mr. Haldane Burgess, a very prolific and able
+writer, but unfortunately afflicted with blindness. During my short stay
+in Lerwick, I gave myself the pleasure of calling upon him, and I was
+intensely delighted with my reception. When the sense of sight is lost,
+that of touch becomes inordinately keen: Mr. Burgess has accordingly
+excellent control over his type-writer, and can compose as nimbly as in
+the days when his eyesight was unimpaired. He spoke of his most recent
+novel, _The Treasure of Don Andreas_, and expressed himself as highly
+pleased at the criticism passed upon it by a reviewer in the _Athenaeum_.
+Mr. Burgess begins composition every morning at seven, and regulates his
+life with military precision. On all departments of Shetlandic history,
+folk-lore, and dialect, he discourses with great knowledge, fluency, and
+animation. But his interests in the general field of modern literature
+are extremely wide. He speaks the Norse language almost as easily as
+English, has studied Icelandic, and knows a good deal about the writers
+of modern France. Some friend had been reading Arnold's _Literature and
+Dogma_ to him shortly before my visit. He was loud in praise of that
+book, the ironical insolence and pawky humour of which he had greatly
+enjoyed.
+
+On parting from Mr. Burgess, I received from him a copy of his pleasant
+Shetlandic story _Tang_, a careful and illuminating study of island life
+and manners. The English style struck me as full, robust, and strongly
+tinged with poetical figures, and the character sketches drawn with the
+precision of intimate knowledge. All his prose works display great
+wealth of material, and much psychological insight. His most
+characteristic production, however, is his little book of poems
+mentioned above, _Rasmie's Buedie_. Rasmie is a Shetland crofter who is
+typical of the race: shrewd, kindly, thoughtful, and gifted with a touch
+of quaint sarcasm. He has perfectly clear views of life, this old
+peasant, and is quite free from cant, or superstition, or mystery. Some
+of his metaphors are droll: after long pondering on the scheme of
+creation, he comes to the conclusion that earth is the field, heaven the
+house, and hell the "midden." Pope, speaking of _Paradise Lost_,
+complains that--
+
+ "In quibbles angels and archangels join,
+ And God the Father turns a school-divine."
+
+What would the great Augustan have thought of verse in which God the
+Father is likened to a cosmic Crofter?
+
+ "Dis Universe is Gued's grit croft,
+ It's His by richt, wis never koft
+ Frae gritter laird
+ And ne'er sall be, laek laand o Toft
+ Wi' idder shared."
+
+For those who have the patience to pierce through the husk of Rasmie's
+dialect, much amusement and delight is in store.
+
+
+A VISIT TO BRESSAY.
+
+If Charles Lamb and Herbert Spencer had been sent to Lerwick and Bressay
+to write a report on what they saw, I daresay the difference of their
+accounts would have astonished every reader. Lamb would probably have
+swilled porter in the _Ultima Thule_ Refreshment Bar and written a most
+interesting account of Bressay without ever crossing the Sound. The ribs
+of a big uncouth Dutch boat, square, cumbrous, shell-fretted, and tilted
+up on the beach, would probably have bulked more in Lamb's narrative
+than the modern steam-trawlers that abound in these waters. His
+politico-economical reflections on the rise in price of peppermint
+lozenges, consequent on the annual arrival of the Dutch fishing crews
+would, I am sure, have furnished excellent reading. Spencer's report
+would have dealt, I fancy, with the rotation of crops, the cause of the
+different currents, the varieties of pigmentation (with percentages)
+among the islanders, and the evolution of fishing gear from its
+rudimentary forms--in sum with the definite combination of heterogeneous
+changes both simultaneous and successive, in correspondence with
+external coexistences and sequences. No two out of a hundred visitors
+see the same things, a fact which may help to prove Bishop Berkeley's
+theory that the universe is subjective entirely.
+
+I went over to Bressay with a genial and erudite clergyman to visit the
+schoolhouse and inspect the ruins of an eighth century church. Three
+Shetland women rowed us over the Sound and handled the oars splendidly.
+The minister, a plump, jolly be-spectacled gentleman, who has not
+"perpetrated matrimony," declared with a sigh that he was an unprotected
+male, and on our arrival at the Bressay beach, he called aloud to the
+oarswomen to lift him out of the boat. These muscular dames shrieked
+with laughter and proceeded to unship their oars as if to buffet him:
+he, thereupon, leaped lightly enough on the strand and, turning round,
+would have improved the occasion by a word in season had not the
+tittering Nereids begun to splash him as he stood on the shingle.
+
+Innumerable sheep pasture on the Bressay slopes, and on the sky-line of
+some of the hills one can discern companies of rollicking Shetland
+ponies. My friend, the minister, who is writing a book on Darwin, got
+into conversation with Mr. Manson, the Bressay pony-breeder. The latter
+spoke thus about his tiny steeds: "Pony-breeding is a more puzzling
+business than anything else in God's universe. The parents,
+grandparents, and great grandparents of a given pony have all been
+perfect in every point. Good! You naturally expect that a pony with such
+exceptionable ancestry will itself be without a flaw. But is it? No,
+often it is not. Too frequently you get bitter water from sweet, and
+thistles instead of grapes. Just look at that tricky, mischievous,
+ill-tempered, wall-eyed little rascal. Where did he get his evil
+cantrips and his wall-eye? I have known his ancestors for four
+generations back and they were all without a blemish." The minister made
+a note of this fact within the book and volume of his brain: it may be
+useful in the pulpit, and I expect to see it in print when he publishes
+his book on Darwin.
+
+The eighth century church was at last reached. It is about three miles
+from the landing-place and quite near the water. Every point was most
+lucidly explained by my ecclesiastical guide. To the outer eye the place
+consisted of some low, ruined walls enclosing various species of rank,
+wet grass. Such remains of olden piety are provocative of gloomy
+reverie, which the rushing of the inconstant tide close by only serves
+to deepen. Immediately after the Crucifixion and long before this church
+was reared by saintly hands, the little Christian communities thought
+the kingdom of God would shortly be established and all sin and
+suffering be banished from the world. But the apostles died, and so
+successively have
+
+ "Priest, doctor, hermit, monk grown white
+ With prayer, the broken-hearted nun,
+ The martyr, the wan acolyte,
+ The incense-swinging child"--
+
+the bishop, the church-builder, and the patriot in all those
+generations, and the kingdom of God is not with us yet, seems, indeed,
+to be as far off as ever. When the world has been at peace for a while
+and the millennium seems imminent, all of a sudden a perverse,
+stiff-necked, _wall-eyed_ generation supervenes, and evolution gives way
+to deterioration!
+
+Lightly bounding down the ages, my companion turned my thoughts from
+unrealised dreams of religion to those of politics. Along these waters
+that cast their spray on the ancient ruin, James Hepburn, Earl of
+Bothwell, third husband of Queen Mary, fled in hot haste, with a
+pursuing squadron at his heels, in the year 1567. Kirkaldy of Grange
+entered the Sound of Bressay as Bothwell was leaving by the northern
+exit.
+
+Our walk lasted about four hours, and ended up in the school-house,
+where the teacher's hospitable dame regaled us to a welcome and
+excellent cup of tea. It did us good after the strain of so many
+reminiscences. The teacher is a hearty and sociable gentleman, who loves
+his books and his fireside. On the fine Saturdays, friends ferry across
+from Lerwick for a round of golf with him over the Bressay links. The
+fine library, recently sent from Paisley, furnishes a pleasant variety
+of reading both for himself and his pupils. On my remarking that, as
+chairman at the lecture next evening, he need not speak more than thirty
+minutes, he replied, with visible emotion, that he would concentrate his
+remarks into a space of thirty seconds.
+
+We got back to Lerwick in a lugsail that was full of passengers,
+potatoes, and milk-cans. There was a good deal of loud, elementary chaff
+during the twenty minutes' crossing. An old, wrinked, peat-smoked dame
+gave us much good advice and (better still) a sprig of white heather
+apiece. I found by subsequent experience that the trip is not always so
+amusing. Next evening a boatman pulled us over, and it was stiff work
+for him, as the Sound was lumpy and the wind contrary. Coming back, he
+hoisted his sail, and we careered over in rollicking style. I was a
+little scared at the swift-rushing currents and the switchback motion of
+the boat. Overhead were moon, stars, and flying clouds; the hulls of big
+steamers loomed like phantoms on the surface of the Sound; on the hill
+opposite twinkled the ever-nearing light of Lerwick.
+
+Bressay, I may add, has a nice little hall, with all items of modern
+convenience, including ventilation. The building is used for every
+legitimate purpose, from worship to _weel-timed daffin'_.
+
+
+FROM LERWICK TO SANDWICK.
+
+I have a vivid recollection of a day's drive from Lerwick to Sandwick,
+down the long, narrow peninsula that terminates in Sumburgh head. I was
+accompanied by the reverend gentleman already alluded to in connection
+with Bressay.
+
+It is a common saying in the isles that Shakespeare had his eye on the
+soil of Shetland when he pronounced the famous line:
+
+ "'Tis true, 'tis _peaty_, 'tis _peaty_ 'tis, 'tis true."
+
+On all sides in the country you see acre after acre of bog, dripping
+with moisture and exuding black runnels whenever the spade of the
+peat-cutter begins to slice its fibrous bulk. Should a wayfarer leave
+the road by mishap after nightfall, he would soon be plunging in the
+treacherous morasses. It is well for him to have a lantern swinging at
+his girdle when the sun has gone down.
+
+Such are the reflections suggested by a view of the country between
+Lerwick and the little clachan of Quarff.
+
+
+QUARFF.
+
+Quarff is the headquarters of a minister who is said to be the only
+extempore preacher in Shetland, if the word can be appropriately applied
+to one who, being blind, has to prepare his sermons in "the quick forge
+and working-house of thought" without the succour of books. This
+gentleman spent long years in the little islets called _Skerries_, and,
+like a miniature Augustine or Columba, claims to have been the first to
+preach the sublime truths of Christianity on these limestone formations.
+
+Though blind, he enjoys his pipe, and I had a smoke with him at the
+fireside. Between the puffs, he indulged in a furious onslaught on the
+Lord Chancellor and the Wee Frees. Lord Halsbury he considered a poor,
+benighted creature, who didn't know the difference between a Trades
+Union and a body of Christians. "_If he ever comes to Shetland_," said
+the minister, "_he had better bring his woolsack with him, for I won't
+let him down soft!_" After Lord Halsbury had been adequately trounced,
+the talk turned on notable things that had happened in the district
+within the last decade or two. One of the tales (which was very
+divertingly told) had to do with the trite subject of intemperance, but
+as it contains one or two novel touches, I here briefly rehearse it.
+
+An elder of the place, who, with his trap, had come to grief one market
+night on the way back from Lerwick, told his session a strange tale to
+account for the catastrophe. "When I got to Lerwick in the forenoon, I
+said to the driver: 'Young man, if I mistake not, you have had no tip
+from me for a long time.' 'That's very true, sir,' said he. 'Well,' said
+I, 'there's half-a-crown; go and spend it judiciously.' During the day I
+transacted business with various friends, omitting none of the usual
+rites. About five o'clock my driver returned, and harnessed the horse
+for the return journey. At first I thought he had brought his brother
+with him, but, on rubbing my eyes, I found it was an optical delusion.
+As I watched him narrowly, I saw the outlines of a bottle bulging out
+from his buttoned coat, and distinctly heard, as he moved to and fro,
+the gurgling sound of liquid in agitation. He was smiling in
+self-approval, and when I reproved him for his slowness, he quoted
+Habakkuk v. 5, 'Hurry no man's cattle,' adding that his authority was
+the Revised Version. As we went rattling along the road, his tricks
+were fantastic in the extreme. At a point about two miles from Lerwick,
+I saw, a little in front of us, a tall individual enveloped in a long
+waterproof, of which the collar was turned up to cover his ears. The
+eyes of this person glowed like live coal as he peremptorily demanded a
+lift. Not waiting for permission, he, with a sudden spring, vaulted on
+the trap and squeezed himself between the driver and myself. The air
+grew hot and close. The driver became ten times friskier than before. I
+determined to unmask the unceremonious stranger, and, putting down my
+hand, grasped him by the foot. He had no boots on, and what I seized was
+a cloven hoof. I asked him there and then if he was Beelzebub. 'I am,'
+said he, 'and clever and all as you are, it will take all your talents
+to slip out of my clutches this night.' At this point there is a blank
+in my souvenirs. I only remember sparks flying and the sensation of
+falling down from my seat on to a steep embankment. On recovering
+consciousness, I found myself lying on a crofter's bed, with aching
+limbs. I told him the story of my escape, and he said, after hearing it:
+'We live in troublous times, John, and the Arch-deceiver seems to be off
+the chain. Watch and pray, or you may fall further next time.'"
+
+
+"THAT HOLY MAN, NOAH."
+
+Particular stories are suggested by the place where one first heard
+them. This profound remark is worked out in detail by Sir William
+Hamilton and Professor Sully. As I look at the map of the road I
+traversed that day, I am reminded of certain anecdotes retailed by my
+genial and reverend guide.
+
+"After leaving college," said he, "I was appointed assistant to a worthy
+D.D. who regarded the higher critics as a species of vermin. Hell with
+him was not a mere unpleasant state passed in _this_ world, but an
+actual raging bonfire specially prepared for everyone who could not
+repeat the Shorter Catechism. The parishioners of this worthy man were,
+in consequence, devoutly orthodox, and had, one and all, a keen nose for
+bad doctrine. They did not like to be fobbed off with a sermon of the
+spineless order; they liked bones, blood, and fire--not a mosaic of
+cheery quotations from Tennyson about the larger hope and about worms
+not being cloven in vain. They had also a great liking for the
+patriarchs, especially Noah. By ill luck, I spoke one Sunday on the
+patriarchs, and handled them pretty roughly. I felt that sacred
+enthusiasm which every man feels in denouncing the sins of others. I
+gave the Captain of the Ark a special lick of tar. This sermon caused a
+mighty commotion in the district. I might as well have asserted that the
+paraphrases were inspired, or that Sankey's hymns were canonical. I
+could see that the elders began to look coldly upon me. In barn and byre
+little groups discussed my preaching, and there was much wagging of the
+head and shooting out of the lip. A deputation came out of a
+potato-field to me one day as I was walking along the road, and the
+leader, an old theological crofter, said bluntly: 'Your sermons are not
+pleasing us, if you please, sir.' 'Is the doctrine bad?' I asked. 'Not
+exactly that, but the folk say it's very unseemly.' 'What special sermon
+do they object to?' 'They think you're not sound on that holy man,
+Noah.' 'Do they go the length of saying Noah was perfect?' 'They don't
+just go that length; but, while admitting Noah was human, they desire'
+(here the old man raised his head, shut his eyes, and shouted) 'to hear
+no more from a young inexperienced lad like you, a single word about the
+patriarch's shortcomings. The man was a patriarch, and therefore a
+saint. Talk about his virtues as much as you like, but don't fash about
+his trespasses, there's a good boy, I speak as your friend.'"
+
+
+FLADIBISTER.
+
+When my friend had delivered himself of this story, he pointed with his
+pipe to a little confused collection of low, thatched cottages which we
+were rapidly approaching on the left, and, oblivious of Noah, went thus
+musing on: "You are now in the charmed domain of Fladibisteria, of which
+the core or citadel, as it were, is this village of Fladibister. This is
+no settlement of Norsemen: no, this is a Celtic nook where second sight
+and such witchcraft flourished not so many years ago. Did not the
+minister once rebuke them for their spells and mystic whims by aptly
+applying to them the words of St. Paul to the Galatians: '_Oh, foolish
+Fladibisterians, who hath bewitched you?_' There is an atmosphere of
+tranquillity and Arcadian peace swimming over Fladibister such as is
+nowhere else to be found in Shetland. The young men of the place roam
+far over the sea, as mariners and fishers; but like the exiled
+Jacobite--
+
+ 'Who sighed at Arno for his lovelier Tees,'
+
+they never feel happy till they are back home here under the roofs of
+thatch. And what a work their women folks make with them when they
+return! What feasting and merrymaking! What screwing of fiddle-pegs,
+nimble motion of elbows and long-sustained dancing and skipping. I don't
+deny that there is clink of glasses, too, at times, to aid the passage
+of the hours far past the noon of night."
+
+
+CUNNINGSBURGH.
+
+Cunningsburgh, the journey to which was shortened by these tales, is one
+of those places you might pass through without being aware of it; that
+is to say, there is no feature about it so startling or abrupt as to
+impress itself at once on the attention. The district all round is well
+tilled, and the houses bien and comfortable.
+
+The minister of the place arrests the attention instantly. His genial
+face and hearty handshake have a more Christianising effect on the soul
+than a ton of sermons. I have never heard a more kindly voice or seen a
+face in which tenderness, merriment, and intellectual keenness, were all
+so harmoniously blended. He does not smoke himself, but has that wise
+and wide perception of things which leads him to press those who are
+anxious to smoke, but say they are not, to take out their pipes in his
+drawing-room. It was easy to see the man he was, by a hasty look at his
+book-shelves. All the philosophers were represented there, from Plato
+to the present-day mystical Germans. Lang's _Odyssey_ was side by side
+with the Icelandic sagas and the Song of the Niebelungs. I did not see
+many books of Systematic Theology; but the Greek tragedians, the Sacred
+Books of the East, German and French novels, had all a place in the
+bookcase of this cosmopolitan clergyman of a remote Shetlandic parish.
+
+
+"KEEPING OFF."
+
+In secluded townships like Cunningsburgh where life's round has much of
+the monotony of fashionable society, and involves a still recurring
+succession of similar duties, the minister is indeed a power. If he is a
+man of broad and enlightened mind, his influence for good is
+incalculable. The Kirk-Session is a permanent Court of Justice, taking
+cognisance of minor matters of morality, and enforcing its decisions by
+religious sanctions. To be barred from participating in the communion
+rites might not seem a very alarming punishment to the easy-going
+Lowlander; but to a Shetland peasant, being _keepit off_, as it is
+technically called, is a terrible and humiliating penalty. A crofter
+came to the manse to complain about his wife's unruly and satirical
+tongue. "But what can I do to her?" said the minister, "she's your wife,
+and you must assert your authority." "I've tried everything," said the
+man, "but she still continues to be a troubler in Israel." The minister
+professed his inability to interfere. "I can do nothing at all," he
+said. "Yes you can," said the crofter, with a wink and a fearful
+whisper, "_You can keep her off!_"
+
+
+THE INDIGNANT ELDER.
+
+Since the Reformation the people have lived and thriven under the
+jurisdiction of the Session. In the records of the Session one finds a
+chronicle of the sins, eccentricities, and merriments of the people for
+the last two or three centuries. Several incidents based on these
+minutes will make what I say abundantly clear. The Quarrel of the Elder
+and the Minister's Housekeeper, for example, convulsed a still remoter
+parish in much the same overmastering way as the Dreyfus Trial agitated
+Paris. Herodotus is the only author I can think of who could have done
+justice to this northern _affaire_. Let me briefly summarise it. Between
+the minister's garden and that of one of his elders ran what was termed
+a hedge. The shrubs which formed the base of this hedge were so
+ill-grown that the minister's fowls could easily go, clucking and
+scraping, from one garden into the other. Evidence was given to prove
+that the cabbages and pot-herbs in the elder's plot were torn and
+spoiled in parts. Every morning he stood at a gap in the hedge and sang
+aloud like a skipper in a storm or Achilles at the trench of the Greeks:
+"I am being ruined and brought to poverty by the minister's hens." This
+cry grated upon the ears of the manse housekeeper, who by and by thought
+it her duty to go out and reason with the elder. "It's no' the
+minister's hens ava that's to blame, it's the craws o' the firmament."
+"It's the hens." "No, the craws." "Hens I declare!" "You're a _deceitful
+impostor_!" said the housekeeper. Now, no self-respecting elder could
+stand that. Boiling with wrath as he was, he remembered his
+ecclesiastical status, merely remarking that there was work for the
+Session at last. By nightfall he had been in every croft within the
+Session's jurisdiction, laying off his tale in each, and as he got
+practice and more vehemence with constant repetition, he attained
+extreme fluency and impressiveness before the day was done. An
+unspeakable joy came over the community at the prospect of a delicious
+scandal. To avoid the breach being healed by an apology, many of the
+crofters sought to envenom the quarrel by refusing to believe that the
+elder was altogether right. "Crows," they said, "had been known to play
+havoc with cabbage. Elders were but human, and so, hasty in laying
+charges on insufficient evidence. The case was certainly one for the
+Church courts. The housekeeper must have a good defence to make, and
+would no doubt make it at the proper time and in the proper place. We
+must hear both sides." One may see by this that the spirit which
+animates a great nation (the desire, namely, to divert itself with the
+contentions of those who come before the public eye), animates also the
+smallest communities in the realm. The great passion-stirring process,
+_Hens versus Crows_, lasted for some seven months. Over and over again
+the hedge was examined. Now the elder thought he had the best of it,
+only to be damped by a revulsion of feeling in favour of the
+housekeeper. The finding of the Session was adverse to the lady. The
+fact that she had practically called the elder a son of Belial could not
+be got over. The minister, holding the scales of justice, was forced, in
+spite of himself, to declare against her. Considering her position,
+some mildness was shown in pronouncing her condemnation and the penalty.
+Having regard to the dignity of the offended man, nothing less than the
+sentence of _keeping off_ could meet the ends of ecclesiastical law. But
+one "keeping off" was deemed adequate. The elder was avenged. At the
+ensuing communion, he was seen to smile and rub his hands diabolically,
+as he glanced towards the back of the church, where sat, outside the
+pale of the privileged elect, the unhappy and vanquished housekeeper,
+who had called him an impostor.
+
+
+TORQUIL HALCROW.
+
+Torquil Halcrow's case presents features of a different order. For some
+reason a _fama_ spread abroad respecting him to the effect that his
+language and demeanour left much to be desired, and that not even the
+presence, or at least proximity, of women operated to mellow the
+strength of his vocabulary. Nothing definite was openly formulated
+against him, but Torquil became aware that in certain quarters his
+reputation was being slowly undermined. It is precisely this vague kind
+of aggression on a man's character that is the most difficult to combat.
+He took the bull by the horns in a most heroic way. _He got up a public
+testimonial to himself, and went round canvassing for signatures._ The
+testimonial ran thus:--"We, the undersigned women of the parish, have
+pleasure in bearing witness that we have known Torquil Halcrow for
+twenty years, and never have we known him do an unseemly act or utter an
+unworthy expression." Thereafter followed a list of forty names.
+Furnished with this document, he strode up to the manse, fluttered it in
+the minister's face with a gesture of triumph, laid it down on the study
+table, then turned on his heel and walked away. The minister, when he
+examined the paper minutely, found that Torquil, in the belief that the
+heading of the testimonial was not sufficiently strong, had added this
+further clause in his own handwriting: "_but many a precious word of
+truth and gracious spiritual comfort have we heard proceeding from his
+lips_."
+
+I have already referred to the beautiful and pathetic saying of Mr.
+Barrie that every window-blind is the curtain of a tragedy. I thought of
+that dictum as the minister of Cunningsburgh pointed to one cot after
+another in the neighbourhood, and narrated the calamities that had
+fallen upon them within recent years. Here, an old widow was mourning
+the loss of a son who had gone to the deep-sea fishing and would never
+return: his bright young life had been swallowed up in the insatiable
+ocean, and she was left lamenting in her indigence. There, it was a
+father who had been engulfed in the roost; or again, the illness of a
+mother had cast a blight for years upon this other household. Sometimes
+I have seen two old people, all their sons dead, living a kind of
+stupefied half-life, automatically moving about, poor and wretchedly
+clad, unable to understand anything except the welcome heat of the sun
+and the animal comfort of a little food. There are many sad things in
+this world: none is more sad than the sight of two old people outliving
+their progeny and wandering about in decrepit second childhood with no
+more substance than a dream. The sea is mainly answerable for the great
+and deep tragedies of the Shetlands: it is like a pitiless monster,
+howling in anger at their doors and claiming its yearly prey. No native
+writer has as yet attempted to make vocal for us the immense dumb
+sorrows of these fisher folks in the way Loti has done for the seafarers
+of Brittany.
+
+
+PHILOLOGY.
+
+Jakobsen, the Danish philologist, spent some years recently in
+collecting the remains of the old Norwegian speech that still linger in
+the conversation and the place-names of the islanders. Perhaps the most
+interesting point brought out by Jakobsen is the prevalence in
+comparatively recent times of lucky words, which the fishermen used when
+at the deep-sea fishing, and only then. This practice is undoubtedly a
+relic of pagan ages when the sea-depths were regarded as the dominion of
+dread water spirits, who keenly watched those who intruded in their
+realms. The strange feature about this deep-sea speech is that its
+expressions were purely Norse, whereas the home idiom of the fishers was
+overwhelmingly English. The pagan beliefs respecting the hostile powers
+of the sea found expression in old words handed down from a
+pre-Christian epoch. These old words may have been originally liturgical
+or worship words, for the sea was an object of veneration and awe to the
+Norsemen who, in the conquering days, made their home on its angry
+waters. It was believed that the jealous powers of the ocean were
+vehemently hostile to Christianity, and hence the Shetland fishers, up
+till quite recently, carefully avoided any direct mention of _church_
+or _minister_ when on the water: the _haaf_ or lucky words being
+respectively _benihoose_ (prayer-house) and _upstander_. Even the
+domestic animals had special _haaf_ appellations. This conception of the
+sea as filled with weird mysterious beings of unspeakable malignity,
+ever ready to whelm the boat of an unwary intruder, carries the mind
+back to the old alliterative lay of _Beowulf_, the contest of that hero
+with the wallowing ocean-monsters, and the grim subterranean glow in the
+sea-home of Grendel's mother. The Shetlanders have only too much reason
+to brood over the cruelty of the sea. On July 20, 1881, during a
+terrific squall, sixty-three breadwinners were engulfed in the thwarting
+currents of the Sound of Yell.
+
+
+A SANDWICK GENTLEMAN.
+
+During all the foregoing discussion in the Cunningsburgh manse and
+garden, our driver had been wondering what subjects of talk could
+possibly be keeping us from continuing our journey to Sandwick. The two
+ministers--the original one and the Cunningsburgh man also--at length
+mounted the trap with me, and we all went joyfully on the final lap. The
+object of the journey was to visit Mr. Sinclair of Sandwick, a gentleman
+well worth going fifty miles to see. Mr. Sinclair has many qualities
+that make a man notorious. He went to Australia in an emigrant ship many
+years ago, and wrote a book upon it, in which he playfully remarks that
+he got the full value of his passage money, inasmuch as there was a
+birth, a death, and a suicide, between Plymouth and Melbourne. Another
+of his distinctions is great dexterity in playing the violin, his
+favourite pieces being "The Scalloway Lasses" and "The Auld Wife ayont
+the Fire." The title of the last-named piece rather staggered me, until
+I was informed by one of the ministers, who is a scholar and an
+antiquarian, that it relates to a time when the fire was in the middle
+of the room and when the smoke escaped by a hole in the roof, or in
+default of that, by the door. Mr. Sinclair rendered these pieces with
+infinite gusto, and, like all true artists, got as much pleasure as he
+gave. He had also the most diverting way of ejaculating the word _hooch_
+I have ever heard in my journey through life. It gives me pleasure to
+add that he wrote a poem on fifty whales that were driven from the sea
+by the local fishermen into Sandwick Bay. These whales were all
+beautifully cooped in the narrow inlet and stranded on the beach, when
+lo! the local landowners, citing some old statute, claimed from the
+fishermen a share of the spoil. Mr. Sinclair, indignant and astute at
+once, took upon himself the championship of the fishermen, and managed
+matters so admirably that the lords of the soil were completely worsted
+in the Edinburgh law-courts. Flushed with such signal success, he put
+the whole story into metre. A printed and framed copy of the poem hangs
+in a conspicuous place in his sitting-room. At our special request, he
+favoured us by singing the impassioned stanzas. It was a unique treat to
+hear him do so. There he was in the centre of the room holding the
+framed verses in his hand, gazing fondly thereat even as a mother
+regards her child. When the chorus came on, he laid down the poem, and
+lifted up his voice with glorious enthusiastic force. Inspiration was in
+his eye, his grey locks became dishevelled, his arms swung rhythmically
+to the beat of the melody. The entire interview was intense: it was one
+crowded hour, of which time is unable to cancel the memory.
+
+
+LOCAL TALES.
+
+The evening was a glorious one, and we _walked_ back some miles of the
+way. The Cunningsburgh minister was full of stories. He alluded
+laughingly to one of his flock who, when under the influence of drink,
+was powerful in prayer. "_When he gets a dram he goes to his knees at
+once._" The anecdote seemed to me to run counter to the views of the
+hymnologist who says "Satan trembles when he sees, the weakest saint
+upon his knees." Another of his stories had reference to two old
+crofters, both over eighty, who began one evening to talk of the follies
+of the young fisher-lads when they took to dram-drinking. One of the two
+remarked: "I wonder now what folly we two old men would commit if we
+chanced to get intoxicated, say at a funeral." "Well," said the other
+hoary-headed and infirm octogenarian, "I have no idea what you would do,
+but I am certain of this, that if I ever got the least bit touched, I
+would go and make love to the lasses at once." Thereupon the two feeble
+old fellows skirled a wicked laugh, and nearly gasped out their slim
+residue of life in unseemly merriment.
+
+Both ministers assured me that the belief in fairies still lingers on
+among the Shetland peasantry. Up on the hill-side the trow is supposed
+to wander about, and the little fellow can be seen skipping on the
+moon-light sward, by all who have eyes and the necessary faith. It is
+believed that he haunts the road-side even when the moon is not shining:
+consequently, when the crofters have to go out of doors at night, they
+protect themselves from his spells by carrying with them a blazing peat
+gripped with tongs. This smokes and sparkles in the darkness and the
+trow does not like it. It is easy for the electric-lighted citizens of
+Glasgow and Edinburgh to laugh at the simple folk-lore of fisher and
+crofter; but no one, however learned and sceptical, can quite escape
+from the mystic influence of fairy-lore if he lives through a winter
+among believing dalesmen. Let him look on the long silvery glimmer of a
+sea-voe, and hear the natives tell of trows chasing the ebbing Neptune
+down there on the dim sea-strand in a night of haze, before he says
+(with Theseus, in the _Midsummer Night's Dream_):
+
+ "I never may believe
+ These antick fables, nor those fairy toys."
+
+To the ear and eye of the philological Jakobsen, the Shetlanders both in
+speech and looks are remarkably like the Norwegians of the Saettersdal.
+In that part of Norway the trow is also a very popular terror. Children
+of a disobedient and obstreperous turn are afraid to venture near a wood
+at nightfall for fear of a little bogie with a red cap, who may suddenly
+slide down a pine-tree and snatch them off.
+
+
+FOULAH AND FAIR ISLE.
+
+I do not altogether envy the candidate for parliamentary honours who has
+to _nurse_ a remote insular constituency like Orkney and Shetland. I met
+Mr. Cathcart Wason in Lerwick, and learned that he had been going the
+round of the islands and had even paid a visit to the isolated and
+mountainous rock of Foulah. Now this was a very daring feat indeed, for
+I have heard of a young man who went once to visit his friends there and
+was kept a prisoner for five months owing to the squalls. The papers
+complimented Mr. Wason on his intrepidity: he went over from Walls in a
+smack, and did not make his address too lengthy, for fear the weather
+might change and Westminster be deprived of his eloquence for a space.
+Mr. Wason is a very tall gentleman, but in Foulah he met his peers in
+point of stature. The islanders are a fine set of men, hardy and godly.
+They are adroit fowlers and nimble cragsmen. It gives one a queer
+sensation to hear that the face of their sheer precipices used to be
+(like level land elsewhere) apportioned equitably among the various
+families. If A did not wish to catch birds on his aerial lot, he could
+let it to B and claim a certain percentage of the spoil. The population
+of the island is about 250: owing probably to intermarriage, there are
+many childless homes.
+
+I do not know if Mr. Wason has ever been to the Fair Isle, but I
+understand an Ex-Moderator of the Church of Scotland visited the little
+community there in 1903. There are two ways of getting to this islet:
+(1) by means of a sailing boat which leaves Grutness for Fair Isle once
+a fortnight with the mails; if the weather is bad, this mode of
+communication is suspended, as in winter no sane man would venture
+through the roost in such a boat; (2) by taking a passage on board the
+S.S. _Pole Star_, which calls on the first of every month with stores
+for the lighthouse. She is a strong, swift boat, and makes the journey
+from Stromness, seventy miles away. I may remark that a lecturer wishing
+to speak in the Fair Isle need not trouble himself about placards or
+handbills: the whole population will be on the shore to welcome him when
+he lands, and he could conveniently intimate his subject then, if he has
+any breath left in his body. The Fair Isle possesses a church organ and
+a non-surpliced choir. The islanders have a great appetite for sermons,
+as the following story, told by Mr. Russell, amply proves. "The minister
+of Dunrossness went one summer to dispense the communion in the Fair
+Isle, and a storm came on which detained him there for about eight days.
+The weather also prevented the boats from going to the fishing. As the
+people had no pressing work to do at the time, and as it was only on
+rare occasions that they enjoyed the presence of the parish minister,
+they were anxious to avail themselves of his services while he was among
+them. _Accordingly, at their desire, he preached every day during his
+stay. In all, he preached thirteen times._ He had taken the precaution
+of bringing a good stock of sermons with him. Before this was exhausted,
+the weather providentially improved, so that he was able to get
+home."[26]
+
+The cherished legends of one's youth get sorely demolished in the course
+of travel and investigation. The school-books used to say that the
+Shetlanders were taught to knit by Spanish women saved from the wreck of
+the Armada. The islanders stoutly deny any indebtedness, and declare
+that there never was the slightest friendship between their ancestors
+and the crews of King Philip's galleons.
+
+ [26] The prayers of as many righteous men as possible are
+ requested for the inspectors of schools who have to examine and
+ report on the state of education in the Orkneys and Shetlands. I
+ had the pleasure of conversing with one of these hard-worked
+ officials in November, 1906. He spoke very warmly of the improved
+ educational benefit of the libraries that have been sent from
+ Paisley to the isles and skerries. This gentleman inspects the
+ Fair Isle school once every two years. On the occasion of his
+ last visit, he was rowed from Lerwick in a "sixern," and had a
+ most tempestuous time going through the _roost_. Two of his
+ oarsmen sickened, and were helpless. On getting ashore at last,
+ he forgot all his sorrows and soaking, when he heard heartsome
+ strains of welcome being played on the _insular pianola_.
+
+
+THE FISHING SEASON.
+
+To Lerwick, during the fishing season, thousands of women come from the
+island of Lewis to gut the myriad herring that are daily brought into
+the bay. There is an extemporised town for the strangers on the
+outskirts, over which float many odours, weird, pungent, and unsavoury.
+All the processes of gutting, curing, and kippering go on in grand
+style. The women, clad in a kind of oilskin, handle their dangerous
+implements in most dexterous fashion. It is a horrid business, but well
+paid. Prolific Nature is never tired supplying these women with work,
+for as many as 68,000 eggs have been found in the roe of one female
+herring. My friend, Mr. M'Kenzie of Ullapool, who is in the service of
+the Fishery Board, took me to see the official examination of several
+hundred barrels of fish, preparatory to the branding thereon of the
+official stamp. The owners pay for this examination, but the additional
+value given to each barrel by the Government mark far surpasses the fee
+exacted by the Board. The branding-officer selects at random a barrel
+here and there, extracts some dozen fish from each, and satisfies
+himself as to the size and quality. If the herring are puny or of
+inferior sort, the officer refuses to brand, and the examination fee is
+refunded. Mr. M'Kenzie remarked that this was the only case in which he
+had ever seen men reluctant to receive money. I followed that gentleman
+as he walked over the long lines of slippery herring barrels, lying in
+horizontal juxtaposition, and I cannot recommend the exercise to those
+who have had no training in gymnastics.
+
+The great success of the Shetland fisheries during the last year or two
+has brought to Lerwick a palpable increase of business and droves of
+business men. In the Grand Hotel there were, in August last, thirty
+gentlemen resident who were in some way brought thither by the traffic
+in herring--among the number a young Russian, who, with his wife, sat at
+a little table apart, and kept jabbering their language with glib
+expressiveness. His name was Walk-off, and his object was the
+annexation of fish for Muscovite consumption. He had a flabby face and
+long, dark hair, which he publicly combed. _She_ was small and
+pretty--doll-like, indeed--with jewels in her ears, which glittered and
+flashed in the gas-light. She was a very loquacious wee creature, and
+her intonation reminded me of the caressing way the Swedes articulate
+English. I heard him read the Russian newspapers to her with evident
+emotion, but the only word I could make out was _Kouropatkin_. The
+herring-agents at the hotel table were full of drollery. One of them,
+hailing from Wick, addressed a neighbour abruptly to this effect: "I am
+a rather expensive man to sit beside, and to one like you especially so,
+for you seem to be a water-drinker. When I tell you who I am, however,
+you will insist on standing me a bottle of champagne." He was frigidly
+asked to state his grounds for such a preposterous expectation. "Prepare
+to gasp," he replied; "you see before you one who is a model and a
+beacon to all the men of Caithness. I am the sire of nine sturdy sons,
+and _they have only three birth-days among them_, seeing that they came
+into this vale of tears three at a time."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+COMMERCIAL TRAVELLERS AND THEIR ANECDOTES.
+
+ Trials of commercials--The two-est-faced knave--Mary, the maid
+ of the inn--Anecdotes of the smoking-room: Sonnet to
+ Raleigh--Peelin's below the tree--"She's away!"--A mean
+ house--One of the director's wives--Temperance hotels--A
+ memorial window--The blasted heath--The day for it--The
+ converted drummer--A circular ticket--A compound
+ possessive--Sixteen medals--"She's auld, and she's thin, and
+ she'll keep"--The will o' the dead--Sorry for London--"Raither
+ unceevil"--An unwelcome recitation--A word in season--A Nairn
+ critic--A grand day for it--A pro-Boer--"Falls of Bruar, only,
+ please!"--A bad case of nerves.
+
+
+TRIALS OF COMMERCIALS.
+
+The commercial traveller (that bustling and indispensable middleman)
+leads a life of mingled joy and pain. He is constantly on the move, and
+from meeting innumerable types of men, becomes very shrewd in judging
+character. Resource, readiness, abundance of glib phrases must in time
+become his. He must not, for fear of offence, show any marked bias in
+politics or religion. His temper must be well under control; he must
+have the patience of an angel; he must smile with those that are merry,
+be lugubrious with those that are in the dumps, and listen, with
+apparent interest, to the stock stories of hoary-headed prosers. It is
+not enough that he should book orders. Some shaky customers are only too
+ready to give these. It is his business to book orders only from those
+that are likely to pay. A big order delivered to a scoundrel who means
+to fail next week, is a horrible calamity, which, if it does not result
+in pains and penalties, means a sharp reprimand and a loss of prestige
+at headquarters, that may take years to redeem.
+
+He has to sleep in many a different bed. It is lucky for him if a damp
+couch has not rheumatised his limbs. No one knows better than he that
+what seems a bell-pull has often, owing to former violence and broken
+wires, no connection with the bell. Here a chimney smokes, there the
+flue is blocked with birds' nests. In certain country inns, the flimsy
+gossamer of spiders makes an undesirable fretwork over the greenish
+knobs of the ill-puttied panes. Mice, rats, and "such small deer"
+scamper uncannily the live-long night along the worn waxcloths and
+unspeakable carpets. As he undresses by the light of a three-inch
+candle, he has his soul horrified by early Victorian prints, of Paul
+tumbling from his horse on the way to Damascus, of the gory relief of
+Lucknow, or of some towsy-headed clansman smiling out of perspective. He
+is by no means a tourist on pleasure bent. He must face gust and surge,
+for he cannot choose his time and weather. His duty is to cover as much
+ground as he can in a given week, fill his order-book with
+irreproachable orders, and get home to report, preparatory to another
+sally in another direction. Competition stings him into feverish
+activity. If he sells tea, he well knows that an army of rivals is
+scouring the whole country with samples as good, or perhaps a great deal
+better, than his own.
+
+
+THE TWO-EST-FACED KNAVE.
+
+Nevertheless, the jovial facetiousness of these commercial gentlemen
+knows no limits, and hotel-waiters are, at all times, fair game for
+their stings and arrows. In one of the northern hotels, there used to be
+a portly and rubicund waiter who might have passed for the High Priest
+of the Goddess of Health. His face shone, if I may say so, with the
+radiance of perfect digestion. A pert commercial, one day, approached
+him with an affected look of deep concern and said, "_Well, I hope
+you're keeping better_," accompanying the remark with a dig in the
+waiter's stomach. The waiter, who had never known a minute's ill-health
+in his life, swore vividly for fifteen minutes without repeating
+himself, and among many references to the commercial's ancestry, called
+him the _two-est-faced_ knave that had ever set foot on the Shetland
+Islands. Such a superlative was felt by all to be a masterpiece of
+language, and turned the laugh against the bagman.[27]
+
+ [27] As to language, one hears, especially in the Hebrides,
+ phrases of amusing quaintness, due no doubt to the speaker
+ handling a foreign tongue. The school in one of the Mull villages
+ is very small, and I made a remark to that effect in the hearing
+ of the hotel-porter. "Oh, no," said he, "_it is a good deal
+ bigger than you would wonder_." The same waiter, who had a talent
+ for confusing his language, said in reply to an irate visitor who
+ had questioned his intelligence: "You need not talk like that; I
+ am as good as you; _I am as good as any other man put together_."
+
+
+MARY, THE MAID OF THE INN.
+
+I have a great deal of sympathy with hotel-porters and waiters, and
+think them unduly longsuffering at times. As to Mary, the exemplary maid
+of the hotel alluded to, she can hold her own in repartee with any of
+the visitors. She is a distinct character, and Moliere could have made a
+"type" of her. She has no sinecure of a situation, and, after eleven at
+night, when the last supper is over, she has to polish the knives for
+the morrow's breakfast. She is young, slim, and active, and wears a
+string of red corals round her neck. The place is not frequented by
+plutocratic tourists, and so her tips are meagre. In spite of her long
+days and her slim perquisites, the girl is affable, smiling, and gay.
+She trips out and in, sylph-like, can carve fowls most dexterously by
+the light of nature, never spills the soup, and has a laughing and
+appropriate word for all. Mary, I hope, will get some decent fellow for
+husband, and be a stay and comfort to him all the days of his life.
+Meanwhile, however (to use the historic present), a nice old gentleman
+in the soft goods line, who hails from the flourishing village of
+Dundee, is paying her marked attentions. She will have none of him, for
+all his apostolic looks. He repeats to her, with a comically sentimental
+air, the lines of Omar:
+
+ "Here with a book of verse beneath the bough,
+ A loaf of bread, a cup of wine, and thou
+ Beside me singing in the wilderness,
+ The wilderness were Paradise enow."
+
+Mary looks in amazement at the old gentleman with the insinuating voice,
+anon bursts into a merry peal, and trips off with the remark, "_There's
+nae fules like auld anes_," which a listening Londoner takes to mean,
+"There's nothing fills like onions!"
+
+
+ANECDOTES OF THE SMOKING-ROOM.
+
+
+SONNET TO RALEIGH.
+
+The conversation of an intelligent commercial traveller is, as I said,
+of a facetious and entertaining turn. He speaks to so many people in the
+course of a day and hears so many anecdotes as he rushes about, that his
+sense of humour becomes very keen. Old Burton, author of the _Anatomy of
+Melancholy_, used to dissipate his sombre thoughts by listening to the
+coarse badinage of bargemen: a modern, afflicted with Burton's
+complaint, might well find a cure in the smoking-room of a hotel among a
+company of commercial travellers. One Saturday night, in a Shetland
+hotel, I listened to a crowd of these merry gentlemen communicating to
+each other their several collections of stories. Before doing so, they
+all sang with great fervour the well-known hymn _The Sands of Time are
+Sinking_, a whisky-traveller officiating at the harmonium. One of the
+number ostentatiously beat time with his pipe. It was a very affecting
+scene, and certain of the singers were moved to tears at their own
+melody.
+
+The company then settled down, in a pleased frame of mind, to tell
+stories. I noted some of these, and as they were new to me, I cherish
+the hope that they may not be stale to others. The following
+preliminary sonnet to Sir Walter Raleigh seems to be apposite and new;
+it is needed to give atmosphere to the tales:
+
+ Raleigh! the benefactor of thy kind,
+ May azure undulations ever roll
+ As incense to thee from the glowing bowl,
+ Thy rapt disciples fume with placid mind
+ In easy chair, by ingle-nook reclined!
+ Next to the mage, Prometheus, who stole
+ From Heaven's court with philanthropic soul,
+ The wonder-working fire, thou art enshrined
+ In mortal bosoms as a friend, for thou
+ Did'st bring from sunset isles the magic leaf
+ That weaves enchantment's halo round the brow,
+ Alleviates the pang of every grief
+ And stirs the bard, exempt from fretting cares,
+ To wail the weird of pipeless millionaires.
+
+And now for the stories.
+
+
+"PEELIN'S BELOW THE TREE."
+
+A Sunday School teacher in the island of Luing was giving a lesson on
+the disobedience of Adam and Eve, and the fruit of that forbidden tree
+whose mortal taste brought death into this world, and other ills. At the
+close of his harangue, which was rather above the heads of the children,
+he said, "Can any of you tell me _how the Creator knew_ that Adam had
+eaten the apple?" There was silence for a time. At last one boy, with a
+glimmer of light in his eyes, shouted: "Please, sir, because He _saw the
+peelin's below the tree_."
+
+
+"SHE'S AWAY."
+
+An Englishman staying in Oban, wished to visit the island of Coll, and
+discovered, on enquiry at Macbrayne's office, that the S.S. _Fingal_
+left for that outer isle at five in the morning. He accordingly gave
+serious instructions to the "boots" of his hotel to rap him up at 4.30
+A.M., and to show him no mercy. At _six_ o'clock, the tourist was
+awakened by a noise like that of a battering-ram at his door, and a
+stentorian voice sternly enquiring: "Are you the gentleman that's going
+with the early boat?" "Yes, yes, I am," said the tourist, leaping to his
+feet. "_Well, she's away_," said the boots. (This is a story that grows
+on one.)
+
+
+A MEAN HOUSE.
+
+Another hotel story: Feeling somewhat thirsty in the middle of his
+dinner and not judging that water was sufficiently slockening, a visitor
+rang the bell and asked the waiter to bring him a bottle of lager. This
+was done. "How much do you charge for this?" enquired the traveller.
+"Ninepence," replied the waiter. Anger, consternation, and incredulity
+were all depicted, by turns, on the visitor's cheek. "What!" he shouted,
+"_ninepence_. Why, I could buy a dozen bottles for half-a-crown. It's
+downright robbery to ask ninepence for one bottle. You've made a
+mistake." "I've made no mistake," said the waiter; "I was told to ask
+ninepence. _But_," (at this point he sidled up to the traveller and
+whispered, with terrible accents, in his ear) "_it's a damp mean house
+this you're in, and I'm leaving mysel' the morn!_"
+
+
+ONE OF THE DIRECTOR'S WIVES.
+
+A gentleman who loved tobacco exceedingly well, went into a first-class
+smoking compartment, filled his pipe, and settled down, with a newspaper
+in front of him, to enjoy the luxury of a long and undisturbed worship
+of the weed. He had a journey of fifty miles before him. Just as the
+train was moving off, a lady, who was panting and flustered, was pushed
+up into the compartment by a porter. It was soon evident that pipes and
+tobacco were not congenial to this dame. She began to sniff in a very
+haughty fashion, but the smoker, utterly indifferent to her presence,
+continued to roll out with deliberate relish his dense tobacco fumes.
+Soon she lost all patience, and said with extreme bitterness: "You
+there, behind that paper, you have no manners. You have no right to
+smoke before a lady. Do you know who I am? _I am one of the directors'
+wives, sir._" Down went the journal, and "Oh, indeed," said he, "you are
+one of the director's wives, are you? Well, let me tell you this, that
+even if you were the director's _only_ wife, I do not intend to
+encourage you, by any compliance of mine, in the bad habit of rushing
+for trains and getting into the wrong compartment!"
+
+
+TEMPERANCE HOTELS.
+
+An English clergyman--a pronounced teetotaler and temperance worker--was
+being driven through the streets of a Scotch town in an open machine.
+Looking round, with expansive benevolence, on the streets and people, he
+was overjoyed to see such a large number of temperance hotels. "Driver,"
+he exclaimed, "I am delighted to see, by the hotels, that total
+abstinence has got such a firm hold in this place." "Indeed, sir," said
+the driver, "don't be too sure of that. We have two kinds of temperance
+hotels here: the first kind would like the licence, but can't get it;
+the second kind have had the licence, and lost it through bad behaviour
+and disorderly conduct."
+
+
+A MEMORIAL WINDOW.
+
+An inn-keeper in Ross-shire, with great enthusiasm, said to a visitor:
+"There's nobody I work for with more satisfaction than an English
+gentleman. Now, there's Sir Samuel Oatts, the wealthy Liverpool merchant
+that has the shootings near here. He is a fine gentleman, and so
+considerate. He is not very good at shooting, I must admit: he often
+misses the birds, and he goes through a good number of dogs. One day he
+shot the keeper in the right eye, and blinded it. But he gave the keeper
+a handsome present and a fine new glass eye. We call that eye '_Oatts'
+Memorial Window_,' and the keeper can sleep during the sermon now
+without anybody knowing, provided he does not snore."
+
+
+THE BLASTED HEATH.
+
+Two English tourists--big, hearty fellows--were travelling in the same
+compartment with a communicative Scot, when the train stopped at Forres.
+"Gentlemen," said the Scot, "this is Forres, and I'm sure you've read
+about it; quite near Forres is the _blasted heath_ where Macbeth was
+accosted by the witches." "How shocking," said one of the Englishmen;
+"how really shocking! Well, you see, we haven't read about that yet:
+we've been up North for some time, and _we have'nt seen the pypers for
+ten dyes!_"
+
+
+THE DAY FOR IT.
+
+The driver of the bus which goes through the delightful part of
+Argyllshire known as Hell's Glen, is often chaffed by the summer
+tourists rather unmercifully. One day, a nervous southern was
+criticising him on his furious and careless driving: "You shouldn't be
+on the box at all; I never saw such a wild driver." "Drive!" said Jehu,
+in a voice of thunder. "Why, man, once every year, I drive the
+mail-coach _down that steep hill-side_ among the bracken. _And this is
+the day for it!_" So saying, the humorous fellow made as if to whip the
+horses down the cliff, and the terrified tourist shrieked aloud. "Seeing
+I've such a nervous passenger," said the driver, with a guffaw, "I had
+better break my own rules, and keep to the main road."
+
+
+THE CONVERTED DRUMMER.
+
+A dilapidated Scot, with a strong odour of the accursed, staggered into
+a Salvation Army meeting one night, and was deeply impressed by the
+service. He became a changed man, professed conversion, and got a
+thorough moral overhaul. Like many others, he had great difficulty in
+keeping his good resolutions, but persevered, nobly and successfully.
+Latterly, he was admitted into the orchestra, and got command of the big
+drum. He was so anxious to show his zeal, that he beat far too
+vehemently, and drowned all the other instruments in his ecstatic
+rataplan. The captain mildly remonstrated with him, and requested him to
+beat a little more gently. "_Gently!_" shouted the reformed drummer,
+"that's impossible. Since I've got salvation, I feel so happy, that I
+could ding the whole slammed thing to bits!" (or rather "slim the whole
+danged thing to bits").
+
+
+A CIRCULAR TICKET.
+
+Three commercials, travelling from Cork to Dublin, had a discussion on
+the illiteracy of the Irish railway employes. "Look here," said one of
+them, "the majority of the ticket collectors can't even _read_ the
+tickets they are supposed to check." The other two refused to believe
+him, but he stoutly maintained his assertion. Taking out of his pocket
+the round ticket given him at the office of the Cork hotel, and
+containing the number of his bedroom, he said, "I intend to offer this,
+instead of my railway ticket, at the first station where tickets are
+punched." Shortly thereafter, the train stopped, and a porter came round
+the carriages to look at the tickets. There was silence deep as death
+when the commercial handed his bedroom ticket to the official. The
+latter looked long and carefully at the thing and muttered, "Bejabbers,
+I never saw one like that before!" "Don't keep the train waiting," said
+the commercial, in a pretended fury, "don't you see it's a _circular
+ticket_." "Oh, and in faith it's you that's right: it _is_ a circular
+ticket," said the porter. So saying, he punched the hotel check and
+withdrew, leaving the three travellers to weep for joy all the way to
+Dublin.
+
+
+A COMPOUND POSSESSIVE.
+
+The following grammatical story will doubtless be new to most readers. A
+Sunday School jaunt had been arranged in an Ayrshire town, and the
+children were all ready to go in carts to a field, some miles away, for
+games and open-air junketing. Everyone was impatient to set out, but the
+piper was late, and the procession of carts could not start without
+music. The minister became impatient, and sent a youth to tell the piper
+to hurry up. The boy, on coming to the piper's house, saw a woman
+standing at the door, and addressed her in these words: "_Are you the
+man-that-plays-the-pipes's wife?_"
+
+
+SIXTEEN MEDALS.
+
+Those who doubt the efficacy of self-lauding advertisement are refuted
+by this story. A commercial traveller, representing a whisky firm,
+craved an order from a small Highland innkeeper. "Come, Donald," he
+said, "you must give me an order this time." "You will be getting no
+order from me, for your whisky is no good whatever. Dewar of Perth has
+got sixteen medals for his whisky; it is so good to drink, and makes
+people drunk so nice and quiet. But _your firm never got a single medal
+for filling folk fou_." The granting of medals for quiet and comely
+intoxication is a brilliant, although droll, idea.
+
+
+"SHE'S AULD, AND SHE'S THIN, AND SHE'LL KEEP."
+
+In a lone isle of the West, funerals are functions that cannot be
+celebrated (at least in the way consecrated tradition prescribes)
+without ample dispensing of whisky among the mourners. As there is no
+pier on the island, the steamer very frequently may not be able to call
+for days, during the terrific gales of winter. The legitimate stores of
+insular whisky thus occasionally become exhausted, and should a death
+occur during the period of dearth, a very regrettable situation arises.
+In the epigrammatic style of King James I., who used to say "_No bishop,
+no king_," we might express the difficulty by saying _No whisky, no
+funeral_. While a gale of exceptional ferocity was raging some winters
+ago, an old woman passed away, and there was not enough whisky on the
+island to bury her with credit. Her son scanned the angry sky and sea
+daily, in the hope that the weather would show signs of clearing up.
+After a week's blighted hopes, he still refused to sanction interment,
+remarking, "_She's auld, and she's thin, and she'll keep_." Next day the
+sea was calm, the _Dunara_ called, and the old lady got her _munera
+pulveris_.
+
+
+THE WILL O' THE DEAD.
+
+The foregoing story suggested to one of the auditors the tale told in
+connection with the death of Lord Forglen, one of the Judges of the
+Court of Session, in 1727. After a long illness, in which he had endured
+the expert advice of several eminent physicians, Forglen, one morning,
+departed into the land of shadows. Not knowing of the fatal termination,
+one of the medical men, Dr. Clark, called as usual and asked David Reid,
+clerk to Forglen, how his master was. David's answer was: "I houp he's
+well,"--a gentle euphuism, indicating that all was over, and also a
+timid hope that Heaven had received a new inhabitant. The doctor was
+shown into a room where he saw two dozen of wine under the table. Other
+doctors arriving, David made them all take seats, while he detailed,
+with much pathos, the affecting incidents of his master's dying hours.
+As an antidote to their grief, the company took a glass or two, and
+thereafter the doctors rose to depart, but David detained them. "No, no,
+gentlemen; not so. It was the express will o' the dead that I should
+fill ye a' fou, and I maun fulfil the will o' the dead." All the time
+the tears were streaming down his cheeks. "And indeed," said Dr. Clark
+afterwards, when telling the story, "he did fulfil the will o' the dead,
+for before the end o't there was na ane of us able to bite his ain
+thoom."
+
+
+SORRY FOR LONDON.
+
+The following story is a good example of insular patriotism. Certain
+shooting tourists in the island of Mull, who hailed from London, and who
+were expecting important news from the capital, were greatly exasperated
+to find, on calling at the local post-office, that telegraphic
+communication with the mainland had broken down. Some very uncanonical
+language was indulged in, which the local postmaster deeply resented.
+One tourist after another, exclaimed with blank despair: "Alas, poor
+Mull will get no news from London to-day." "What will Mull do without
+the London news?" "No news from London, what a misfortune for Mull!"
+This harping on the forlornness of the island caused the blood of the
+postmaster to boil with indignation, and he shouted in ire: "It is not
+Mull I will be sorry for, at all, at all. Mull can do without the
+London news. But what will poor London do, when she finds she will not
+be able to get any news from Tobermory, or from Salen, or from Dervaig,
+or from Craignure, or from Lochdon, or from Lochbuie, or from Bunessan,
+the whole of this blessed day!"
+
+
+"RAITHER UNCEEVIL."
+
+A well-known boat, _The Stormy Petrel_, had been to Ardrossan for coal,
+and was conveying the precious cargo to the romantic terminus of
+Cairndow at the head of Loch Fyne. At St. Catherine's a great thirst
+took possession of the crew, and they put in there for refreshments. The
+conversation was most animated, and extended itself over a wide tract of
+political and theological topics. On setting out for Cairndow early next
+morning, all the crew had wistful, lustreless eyes, confused thoughts,
+and bad consciences. He to whom the coal was being conveyed, was
+awaiting them. He rowed out to _The Stormy Petrel_ in a small boat, and
+on coming near assailed them, in English and Gaelic, with all the most
+vituperative expressions he could remember. But the crew, each and all
+of them, knew they had been guilty of culpable delay, and uttered not a
+word, good or bad, as their assailant rowed round their boat and
+withered them with his invective. They had no fight left in them, and
+sat, with bowed heads, till the storm would subside. After enduring the
+agony for half an hour, one of the crew looked up and said, "Do you no'
+think, Mr. Sanderson, that you're _raither unceevil so early in the
+morning_?" This remark, uttered in a quiet, sad, reproachful way,
+staggered Mr. Sanderson far more than the most thunderous abuse would
+have done, and brought home to him the undoubted fact that he had been
+defective on the score of good taste.
+
+
+AN UNWELCOME RECITATION.
+
+One of the travellers, on being asked to contribute his item to the fund
+of anecdotes, said that instead of telling a tale, he would give a
+recitation. Before doing so, he sneezed artificially six times, and then
+recited a poem on
+
+ _Influenza._
+
+ Influenza has come like the wolf on the fold,
+ And the duke and the ditcher are down with the cold.
+ The doctor is smiling, for business is here,
+ And the chink of the guinea resounds in his ear.
+ No household is spared: both the villa and cot
+ Their quota of swollen-nosed patients have got.
+ The clerk of the weather is gloating on high
+ At the lords of creation that bed-ridden lie.
+ Each chamber resounds with the echo of sneezing,
+ With deep-laboured coughing and bronchial wheezing.
+ While, loading the table, the victim can spy
+ Lotions, tonics, and ointments confusedly lie.
+ The druggist (douce man) is thanking his stars
+ For this nice epidemic of paying catarrhs,
+ He's making his hay, though no sunshine is seen,
+ And his till gleams with silver where copper has been.
+
+
+A WORD IN SEASON.
+
+This dismal piece of verse effectually cleared the smoking-room, and
+filled me with a great sorrow, since I had just recollected three or
+four stories of my own. I now take the liberty of laying these before
+the ingenuous reader. If he says they are dull, let me tell him (i.)
+that he has no perception of humour, and (ii.) that occasional dulness
+is the inalienable privilege of every free-born Briton. Many a spry
+wight thinks it his duty to be _continuously funny and monotonously
+merry_. Let a quiet and demure dulness be the foil of your
+side-splitting sallies. Learn to keep the peace, yea for hours at a
+time. If you are in a mixed company, cultivate the dictum of "give and
+take." Be not for ever doling out your scraps of mirth to the dyspeptic
+stomachs of your associates. A wise reciprocity and interplay of
+merriment is the best rule--a fair share among the entire party. Burns
+himself, sparkling talker as he was, is recorded to have been at times
+sunk in gloom and shadow. But anon emerging from his moodiness, he would
+utter such words as set the table in a roar. And now for these
+masterpieces of humour.
+
+
+A NAIRN CRITIC.
+
+Why is it that publishers, aye, and even booksellers, are so often out
+of sympathy with the poets? I spoke once to a bookseller in Nairn about
+a local poet's volume that was lying on the counter. "Do you personally
+know this bard?" I asked. "Ay, that I do," was the reply; "he's an
+eccentric wee chap. I've many a laugh at him as he goes along the
+street, muttering to himself and picking his teeth with a fountain-pen.
+Eccentric! bless my soul, how could a poet be anything but eccentric?
+Besides, he's bound to be a liar: for if he can't get the end of a line
+to come right with truth for a rhyme, he has got to make it _clink with
+a whopper_. Why, man, it's a great worry for an honest man like me to
+speak the truth in plain prose. If I were to send out my bills in metre
+to my customers, there would be a rise of temperature soon in the town
+of Nairn. No, no: the only thing that can be done with a poet's
+manuscript is to take it to the head of the garden, sprinkle it with
+paraffin, and apply a vesta."
+
+
+"A GRAND DAY FOR IT."
+
+While one of the great six-day battles of the Eastern war was going on,
+a country doctor, by some mistake in delivery, did not get his _Herald_
+to breakfast one morning. Anxious to get the news, he bolted his meal
+and sallied forth to hear the latest from the seat of war. He saw a
+wrinkled old churl trimming the roadside hedge with a bill-hook, and
+humming a tune like the gravedigger in _Hamlet_, Act v. "Any news of the
+war?" gasped the doctor. "Eh?" said the old man, without discontinuing
+his work. "Are you not aware," said the doctor, "that there is a great
+battle raging in Manchuria?" "No," said the man, "I know nothing about
+it, and care less." "What!" shouted the doctor. "You care nothing about
+it? Why, man, the Russians and Japanese are at this moment _fighting for
+the hegemony of all Eastern Asia_." "Lord, do you say so?" replied the
+old cock, lopping unconcernedly at his hedge; "well, all I can say is,
+that _they're gettin' a grand day for it_."
+
+
+A PRO-BOER.
+
+On one occasion, in the West Highlands, I availed myself of a lugsail
+ferry to cross an arm of the sea and so avoid a long detour by land. The
+boat was old, the sail was thick with big-stitched patches, and the
+ferryman was an elder. I had much edifying talk with him, and at last
+gliding from the Declaratory Act, of which he did not approve, I asked
+him if he had any family. "Yes," he replied, "I have two sons. One of
+them is a polissman in Glasgow, a nice lad, a very nice lad: he sends me
+ten shillings every month; oh! an excellent lad is he indeed. But my
+other son is a disgrace to me; he is bad, very bad. He is a drunkard and
+a card-player and a Sabbath-breaker, and what's a thousand times worse
+than all that, he's a _Pro-Boer_." This instance of patriotism in a
+remote Highland nook was very refreshing for me to hear, and I gave the
+anti-Krugerite elder a substantial fare for his trouble in ferrying me
+over the loch. He invoked the blessing of Heaven on me, and I hope his
+prayer will be answered.
+
+
+"FALLS OF BRUAR, ONLY, PLEASE!"
+
+Some years ago, I had occasion to spend a day at Blair Athol, where I
+was dosed with nothing but kindness by a genial son of the famous Clan
+Macdonald. He put his trap and driver at my disposal, in order that I
+might, with comfort and expedition, go and view the Falls of Bruar,
+immortalised in one of Burns's cleverest poems. No sooner had we set off
+than the driver began to calumniate Burns in unmeasured language, and to
+throw withering scorn on the Falls, which, he declared, were utterly
+unworthy of being visited by any sane man. "If you want to see real
+falls," said he, "I'll take you to the Falls of Tummel, which could
+knock those of Bruar into a cocked hat!" (such was the curious metaphor
+he employed). I told him he could take me to both if there was time, but
+Bruar I must see. He landed me at the Tummel, and drove on recklessly
+himself a mile further to see his sweetheart. The desire to pay a visit
+to his Bonnie Jean was the sole cause of his gibes at the poet. Back he
+came in an hour, chanting merrily, and we drove to Bruar. I found the
+varlet had lied most expansively: the Falls are gloriously fine, and
+worth walking a good many miles to see. On the homeward road, I could
+see he was ill at ease: he was dreadfully afraid that his amorous flight
+would be discovered by his master. He said to me once every minute,
+"_Falls of Bruar, only, please: keep your thumb on Tummel!_" Latterly he
+set these words to a kind of rough music, and sang them continuously in
+my ear, winking the while and smiling roguishly. I obeyed him.
+
+
+A BAD CASE OF NERVES.
+
+While I was sitting alone in the smoking-room of the hotel, a tall,
+thin, restless-eyed, aristocratic young fellow came quietly in. He went
+up to the sideboard, poured out half a tumbler of water, and carefully
+measured out about ten drops of phospherine therein. He swallowed the
+mixture, smacked his lips, and sighed. He then remarked that it was a
+nice evening and that he was very ill with a nervous complaint. "I
+suppose, now," he said, "you would actually tell me not to worry, to
+take everything easy, and, above all, to firmly believe there is nothing
+whatever the matter with me?" "Most certainly," I said, "you ought to
+consider yourself in perfectly good health; by and by you would come to
+be so in reality. The Christian Scientists say you might even learn to
+hold fire in your hand by thinking of the frosty Caucasus." "I suppose,
+too, you would recommend me to have a hobby, such as golf, or gardening,
+or amateur photography." "Yes, I believe a harmless hobby such as you
+mention would relieve the mental strain and take you out of yourself."
+"Well, I essayed golf, but, alas! I massacred a ram; I tried gardening,
+and tired of it before the flowers began to show; and as to photography,
+it only increased the number of my enemies." "What about cycling or
+horse-riding?" "These won't do--I can _think_ at both of them. Now, I
+_don't want to think: in fact, I mustn't_." "Fishing? wouldn't that be a
+reposeful diversion?" "No, no," he said, "I could not stand the sight of
+an animal enduring pain." "Well, you surely might try a little light
+reading." "The strange thing about my reading is this," said he, "I look
+at a sentence and understand it, but I am aware of something, either at
+the back of my head or behind me, which says, 'All this is futile stuff
+and nonsense: give it up, it's not for you; you are condemned to
+everlasting emptiness, and your life will never know any more fulness or
+joy.'
+
+ "Immense vacuity of intellect!
+ I lift a volume, but a sentence tires;
+ Even a flimsy magazine requires
+ From me more concentration and direct
+ Volition than my vagrant wits elect
+ To give the pages. All my soul desires
+ Is to gaze without purpose on the fire's
+ Crackle of glowing cinders, and detect
+ Weird shapes of beasts and palaces and men
+ In the red mass of photographic coal;
+ Perchance my lazy mind may, now and then,
+ Without exertion, read as on a scroll
+ (While the glede sinks to ashes in the grate)
+ The dust and nothingness of mortal state."
+
+"Well," I said, "your case is a queer one, and I am at a loss to suggest
+anything further." At this, the young man burst into a loud peal of
+laughter. He was supremely delighted at finding himself so unique, so
+singular. He took me by the hand, shook it most heartily, saying, "I
+haven't enjoyed myself so much for a long time. If I were oftener in the
+company of men like you, I might regain hope."
+
+The improvement was, unfortunately, of very short duration. He continued
+his observations thus:
+
+"And yet, and yet: _Sunt lacrimae rerum_. What is this world but a
+succession of fleeting images chasing each other across a background of
+joy or pain! Now we quaff the sour cup of misery, by and by we drink the
+intoxicating vintage of hope. Heaven alone stands firm, gemmed with the
+pitiless stars. The day breaks, rises to its glory in the shimmering
+height of noon, and dies away in the west: so does the utmost pride of
+man's career fade away to nothing, a harvest for Time's scythe. On all
+this growth and decay the stars gaze with their unpitying and eternal
+eyes. I think I'll have a little more phospherine."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+LEGENDS AND LITERARY NOTABILIA.
+
+ Gairloch folk-lore: Prince Olaf and his bride--A laird who had
+ seen a fairy--Tales from Loch Broom: The dance of death--The
+ Kildonan midwife--The magic herring--Taisch--Antiquities of
+ Dunvegan--Miscellaneous terrors--St. Kilda--Lady
+ Grange--Pierless Tiree--Lochbuie in Mull--Inveraray Castle--The
+ sacred isle--Appin--Macdonald's gratitude--Notes on the
+ Trossachs--Lochfyneside: Macivors, Macvicars, and
+ Macallisters--Red Hector--Macphail of Colonsay--Tales from
+ Speyside: Tom Eunan!--Shaws and Grants--The wishing well--Ossian
+ and Macpherson--At the foot o' Bennachie--Harlaw--Lochaber
+ reivers--Reay and Twickenham--Rob Donn--Rev. Mr. Mill of
+ Dunrossness.
+
+
+GAIRLOCH FOLK-LORE.
+
+I do not think anyone interested in local history and antiquities could
+find a greater treat than that furnished by Mr. Dixon's _Account of the
+Parish of Gairloch_. That romantic and lovely district is fortunate in
+having found a historian of unlimited enthusiasm and untiring industry.
+There is not a single dry page in his long and detailed narrative. Many
+of the legends he tells are known to me from other sources, but I am
+certain that no Scotch compiler (Mr. Dixon, let me say, is English) has
+written of them with such enjoyable sympathy and poetical ardour. I have
+been assured by local authorities that the facts adduced by Mr. Dixon
+are invariably reliable. That I can well believe; but what is still more
+rare, Mr. Dixon's facts are everywhere made to gleam and glitter in the
+radiance of romance. Let me narrate, in concentrated form, one of the
+legends which this clever writer has alluded to in more than one of his
+chapters.
+
+
+PRINCE OLAF AND HIS BRIDE.
+
+In the ninth century of the Christian era, one of the islands that in
+such picturesque fashion dot the surface of Loch Maree, was honoured by
+being the abode of a pious hermit, despatched thither from the sacred
+isle of Iona. His presence there, implying as it did austerity,
+perpetual worship of Heaven, and the reading of devout treatises,
+inspired veneration in the minds of the obstreperous tribes around. They
+felt themselves better from having such a good man near them. Wherever
+in these old times of war and gore, a saintly pioneer established
+himself, the kingdom of chaos and night was pushed back for miles around
+his cell.
+
+The Picts of the ninth century revered this man, and his fame was known
+also to the predatory seamen who came buccaneering among the islands of
+the West. A Viking of royal blood, Prince Olaf, in the intervals of his
+sea-roving, hied sometimes to the hermit's retreat, for instruction and
+spiritual blessing. The young man, as tradition alleges, was not beyond
+the need of guidance, for his temper was of the most fiery violence,
+and, at the slightest provocation, his hand was on the hilt of his
+sword. No doubt the saint of Isle Maree managed to moderate the Prince's
+vehemence, and draw him somewhat away from wrath which (as Homer puts
+it), waxeth like smoke in the breasts of warriors, and is far sweeter to
+them than trickling honey.
+
+By and by, this youth fell in love, and in characteristic fashion he
+loved with a whole-souled and overwhelming passion. The hot-tempered
+Viking became a new man, and he thus communed with himself: "How can I
+ask this maid to share my life on the stormy sea? She is too tender and
+gentle to go under the dark clouds in a war-galley with me and my rude
+mates, when we sail to meet the enemy. Nor, were she my wife, could I
+leave her behind and unprotected. Marry her I must, but I can neither
+take her with me thereafter, nor defend her in my absence. Go to, I'll
+e'en visit the monk of Isle Maree and get counsel from _him_."
+
+It is pleasant to note that the holy father found a way out of the
+difficulty. "Marry her, my son," said he, "and build a tower of strength
+as her abode on this isle of mine. When you are away, she will be near
+me. Old man as I am, the natives respect me for my devotion and my hoary
+hairs." The prince's scruples, so honourable to his love, were overcome.
+The marriage was celebrated with great pomp and rejoicing. The green
+pathways of the isle were thronged with feasters; tents were erected
+beside the thickets of oak and holly, and the Loch had little rest from
+the plashing of oars. The hermit blessed the couple and blessed the
+castle too in which the twain were for a time to reside.
+
+Prince Olaf and his lady were perfectly happy, and the golden hours of
+their wedlock sped merrily by. But the hours that were short to them,
+were long and dreary to the Norse rovers, lying inactive in the ships
+anchored hard by in the waters of Loch Ewe. Murmurs, growing at length
+in volume, were muttered by the men as they reflected, day by day, on
+the soft uxoriousness of their leader. They wished to be at sea on an
+expedition that had been planned aforetime ere the marriage had taken
+place. These murmurs reached the prince's ears, and, with many tears, he
+tore himself away from the bridal tower to take his place at the head of
+the squadron. It was a bitter severance, but tempered by the expectation
+of a speedy reunion. The prince took with him two pennons, a black and a
+white. "If I am successful in my expedition," he said, "I will display
+the white pennon on my galley; if misfortune befalls me (which God
+avert) the black will be flying on the prow. Do you come to meet my
+returning fleet and let a similar indication be visible on your barge to
+tell of your safety or your misfortune. A lover feels his excitement
+growing, the nearer he comes to his home: let us abridge, by such a
+device, the length of our anxiety."
+
+Love did not make Olaf a worse fighter: rather, indeed, it improved his
+prowess. The thought of the fair young wife in the lonely tower,
+protected mainly by the sanctity of an old hermit, nerved his arm, and
+he speedily got through the expedition with great applause. He swept
+everything before him, and turned homeward in the expectation of a
+cordial and meet welcome. During his absence, the lady had been
+fretting. Finally, as the days passed, she became downright angry. "He
+is neglecting me," she cried; "he goes away from my arms to the society
+of rough seamen. I am a mere bauble, a plaything for his leisure. He is
+tired of me, and perhaps on some distant coast he is dallying with a
+newer sweetheart. But I will try his heart. When I hear of his
+homecoming, I will go forth on my barge and have the black flag of
+desolation flying from the prow. In this way I may obtain some hint of
+his real feelings."
+
+Olaf came homeward in great glee, and on entering Loch Ewe from the
+outer sea, the white pennon of success flapped gaily in the wind. The
+princess, on the other hand, let prepare her boat, and, clothed in the
+weeds of death, lay down on the deck, while simulated sobs of woe and
+lamentation were raised by all her attendants. Slowly the boat, with its
+ill-omened signal, moved to meet the conquering hero. Olaf, the
+impetuous, was chilled to the heart, when he saw what he thought the
+sure indication of his lady's misfortune. What a sight met his eyes when
+he leapt on board! The princess stretched out in apparent death, and
+robed in the garments of the grave! He could not endure the torment and
+disillusion. He drove a dirk into his bosom with such passionate might
+that he fell down, bereft of life, mighty and mightily fallen, on the
+deck beside her.
+
+She had not expected such a tragic conclusion to her blamable artifice.
+Remorse, of course, got hold of her, and drawing the gory weapon from
+her dead lord's breast, she plunged it into her own. Too late was she
+convinced of his true love for her: she had only one duty, and that was
+to die with him. It is said in the legend that her life was not extinct
+when the barge, with its weird freight, returned to the hermit's isle.
+The old man, holding in his quaking hand the cross before her dying
+eyes, strove to comfort her somewhat as her blood ebbed quickly away.
+
+"The bodies of the unhappy pair," says Mr. Dixon, "were buried within
+the inclosure on the island, beneath the shade of the sacred hollies;
+they were laid with their feet towards each other, and smooth stones
+with outlines of mediaeval crosses were placed over the graves, and there
+they remain to this day. A few stones still indicate the site of the
+hermit's cell, and a considerable mound marks where the tower stood."
+
+The last time I stood beside the little pier on Loch Maree, I noticed
+many indications of the advent of southern tourists. Empty bottles were
+floating on the waves, and the tiny steamer that plies on the loch was
+getting ready for the summer traffic. Visitors from the Lowlands do not
+suspect that such tales as I have narrated still live on the lips of the
+Gairloch natives, and help to pass the hours at many an evening reunion.
+How the centuries meet in such nooks of Ross! Steamers on Loch Maree,
+and Olaf's cross still standing on the hermit's isle! The driver of the
+mail-coach from Achnasheen to Gairloch will discuss creeds and schisms
+with you, and tell you he does not believe in modern religious
+developments at all; anon, as the coach passes the Gairloch Church, he
+will point with extended whip to a grassy hollow on the left, and say:
+"That is where the Free Church used to have its open-air Communion
+Service: the place is called _Leabaidh na Ba Bhaine_, because Fingal
+scooped it out as a bed where his white cow might calve." "But did
+Fingal lodge in this neighbourhood?" you ask. "Oh yes, he did whatever,"
+the driver will reply, "and the best proof of it is, that if you go to
+the north end of Loch Maree, you will see the _sweetheart's
+stepping-stones_, placed there by Fingal to keep his feet dry when he
+went that way to court Malvina."
+
+
+A LAIRD WHO HAD SEEN A FAIRY.
+
+Bailie Nicol Jarvie, whom we all know so well, confessed that when he
+heard the wild stories of the North, he felt his blood tingle and his
+pulses leap. This fact, which as a sober man of business he felt bound
+to apologize for, was probably due to heredity, his mother having been a
+Macgregor. The Bailie lived at a time when rumours of witchcraft and
+fairydom were more common than now, and when there was less
+dissemination of Scripture truth. It is a saying in some parts of the
+North that the profuse spread of the Shorter Catechism has been the
+means of driving witches and fairies out of their old haunts. For my own
+part, I know of nothing more likely to make them decamp.[28]
+
+I was lucky enough to meet a gentleman who declared, not with an oath,
+but with a _pretty strong_ asseveration, that he had once seen a fairy.
+It was in a railway train that I knit conversation with him. He was a
+kilted country squire, tall, thin, and soulful: on his head was a
+glengarry with a pair of flying ribbons. He spoke in rapt sentences, as
+if he were looking on a vision. This is the substance of his remarks:--
+
+ One autumn morning, when the world lay fair
+ Under the radiant blue, I musing lay
+ By a green knoll, beside a rippling bay,
+ When, suddenly, gliding through the silent air,
+ A green-clad apparition, wrinkled, spare,
+ Angry, and grieving, passed along the way
+ Before me for a moment's space. The fay
+ Was old and did not see me lying there.
+ I grieved to see her sob in fretful mood,
+ And often since I marvel in my mind
+ What grievous heart-pang drove her from the wood
+ To ease her heart away from her own kind.
+ Strange, that these tiny, soulless beings should,
+ Like us, be grieved and be with passion blind!
+
+These are the words of a man who speaks with conviction. I ought to
+mention that, ecclesiastically (and I hope in other ways, too,) he was a
+Moderate. Two things annoyed him greatly: (1) that the fairy did not
+deign to look at him; (2) that nobody but his little grand-daughter of
+eight would believe he had seen a fairy at all. "Why," he said, "I could
+draw that fairy now, if I had pencil and paper. I see her as plain as I
+see you. _Her little bosom was heaving, and she wore a necklace of
+twisted corn-stalks. I am sorry I did not offer her some refreshment._"
+
+ [28] A very similar account is given, of the dearth of the little
+ folk in England, by the poet Chaucer; only, that eminent writer
+ declares that the phenomenon is due to the zeal and prayers of
+ the monks and begging-friars, who paced about the country
+ muttering blessings and exorcistic paragraphs.
+
+
+TALES FROM LOCH BROOM.
+
+The enquirer will find a specially abundant crop of old stories if he
+stays long on Loch Broom side. The bard of Ullapool, Mr. Roderick
+Mackenzie, has made an excellent collection of romantic incidents
+associated with the neighbourhood, and has told them in a very quaint
+and effective fashion. From his collection I now cite a specimen or two.
+I by no means recommend them as reading for the small hours of the
+morning.
+
+
+THE DANCE OF DEATH.
+
+Three young fellows belonging to Strathmore, in the parish of Loch
+Broom, were returning from the Low Country, where they had been living
+for some time. It was long before the days of Watt and Macadam; roads
+were not good, progress was slow, and rain was frequent. When they, in
+the final lap of their journey, arrived at the green hillside of
+Lochdrom, the weather was extremely inclement. Seeing a commodious
+shieling on the braeface, the young men entered, and one of them, with
+the object of driving dull care away, struck up a lightsome tune on his
+pipes. His two comrades at once began to fling their legs about and
+caper merrily. Soon, having succeeded in dancing themselves dry, they
+all agreed that female partners would be a great acquisition. The wish
+was at once gratified. Three women mysteriously glided into the
+shieling, and the dancing began in earnest. One of the women stood close
+by the piper, while the other two skipped about, with their partners,
+all round the building. Outside it thundered and lightened in terrific
+fashion. Tired and sweating, the two couples were at length fain to
+stop, and they sat down to rest on seats of turf and heather. The piper
+stopped too: he felt some malign influence coming over him; he was
+certain some devilish deed was a-doing. Stealing a glance at his two
+friends, he perceived that they were both stark dead, and that the two
+infernal huzzies were smiling a hideous smile of triumph. Action, he
+felt, was immediately necessary: he flung the still groaning bagpipes
+full in the face of the witch near him, stunned her thus for an instant,
+and with one wild leap cleared the threshold. And now began a hot race
+and hot pursuit. Like another Tam o' Shanter, but without the mare, the
+piper sped over the moor and through the rain, plying a foot as good as
+wings. Not till they came in sight of the clachan of Fasagrianach, did
+the witches relinquish the chase. The exhausted piper had a sad tale to
+tell to the mothers of his two hapless friends. Next day a company of
+mourners went to the scene of the infernal dance, and, amid much
+mourning, they sang a weird wail with the sad refrain, _Airidh mo
+Dhubhaich_, which, being interpreted, means "Shieling of my Sorrow."
+
+Let me give another tale, but of less sombre issue, culled from the
+folk-lore of the same locality.
+
+
+THE KILDONAN MIDWIFE.
+
+A woman living at Kildonan, on the north shore of Little Loch Broom, and
+exercising the useful profession of howdie, or midwife, had been
+summoned to attend a case at Keppoch. She did not arrive at her
+destination, although she left home after telling her neighbours where
+she was going. It was on Christmas eve that Fair Sarah, as she was
+called, left Kildonan, and for the space of an entire year, not a word,
+good or bad, was heard of her. Search parties were organized, but all to
+no purpose. Exactly twelve months after her disappearance--the next
+Christmas eve, namely--back came the errant midwife to her home, not a
+hair the worse for her long absence. She was immensely astonished to
+find she had been so long away, her own impression being that only an
+hour or two had elapsed. It was evident to all the natives of Kildonan
+that Fair Sarah had been among the fairies, in whose company, as every
+one knows, months and years slip past as quickly as hours and days.
+Sarah was asked to speak out and tell her experiences. "It seems to me,"
+said the flustered howdie, "that it was but last night that I left for
+Keppoch. Just as I passed the White Knoll, between Strathmore and
+Strathbeg, I came upon a company of little folk, who would have me with
+them, right reason or none. I accepted their hospitality, and what
+drinking, skipping, revelry, and glee my eyes beheld! At last I grew
+sick of their cantrips and capers. Remembering I was a Christian and a
+communicant, _I blessed myself in the name of the Glorious Trinity_,
+with the result that I was unceremoniously bundled out of the place."
+
+The White Knoll had long had the repute of harbouring fairies; Sarah's
+experiences put the matter beyond all doubt. That worthy female
+continued to ply her vocation for many years after, with unvarying
+dexterity and signal success. She was certainly a more prosperous woman
+after her year's excursion into Fairy-land.
+
+
+THE MAGIC HERRING.
+
+There is an interesting legend told of the device by which shoals of
+herring were first induced to come into Loch Broom.
+
+It seems that long ago (the precise date is unessential) the lochs round
+the island of Lewis were invariably, at the herring season, visited by
+magnificent shoals of fish, while not a tail was ever seen to twinkle in
+the spacious waters of Loch Broom. Abundance on one side of the Minch,
+destitution (for no earthly or apparent reason) on the other! After
+mature consideration, the dwellers by Loch Broom came to the conclusion
+that the anomaly could only be explained by the malignant operation of
+the Lews witches. Query: How best neutralise the spells of these partial
+harridans? A remedy, both unique and effective, was at length devised. A
+silver herring was made and given into the hands of a sturdy crew, who
+set sail with it over the water to Lewis. On arriving there, the men
+partook of an adequate amount of refreshment, let down the silver fish
+(attached to a cord) among the jostling shoals in one of the lochs, and
+then, with the metallic animal trailing in the sea behind them, they
+turned the prow of the boat in the direction of home. The ruse was
+successful beyond all belief: glimmering clouds of phosphorence followed
+through the seas below in the wake of the boat and its silver lure.
+Under the stars of night, in all the rapture of excitement and success,
+the Loch Broom fishers led the droves of herring right up to the
+farthest reach of their loch. The metallic herring was then allowed to
+sink to the bottom: there it remains, and so long as it is there, an
+abundant harvest of the deep will be the portion of the resourceful
+toilers of these shores. Perhaps I ought to mention that the famous boat
+which did the feat was painted black on one side and red on the other. I
+am not sufficiently versed in the niceties of _grammarye_ to be able to
+render a reason for this piebald device.
+
+Of late years, as I have been told, the prosperity of Ullapool is not as
+high as it was. Can it be that the Lews witches are at their old tricks
+again? Or has the silver herring been borne, by the wash of retreating
+surges, out into the Hebridean deep. Every visitor who walks through the
+sea-facing, white-washed little town, must be struck by the silence of
+the streets and the utter lack of business animation.
+
+
+TAISCH.
+
+The most interesting place in the island of Skye is, beyond question,
+the neighbourhood of Dunvegan. It was of surly, superstitious,
+loyal-hearted Samuel Johnson that I chiefly thought when I leapt out of
+the trap that landed me at the Hotel of Dunvegan, for I had just been
+reading his famous _Journey_, with its diverting remarks on
+second-sight. It would not, I confess, have surprised me over much, in
+my tired and wind-beaten condition, to see the Doctor and the Auchinleck
+laird, walking arm in arm along the road. I should have put it down to a
+kind of inverted _taisch_, certainly to nothing stronger.
+
+It may surprise many southerners to know that the belief in _taisch_ is
+not by any means extinct. I have met educated Skyemen who firmly
+believed in the mysterious visual gifts of the seventh son of a seventh
+son. In old days, the Highlanders were wont to attribute the gift to
+none but those of an austere and devout cast, who, living a solitary
+life in the eye of nature, were thought to be specially prepared for
+receiving supernatural impressions. I am afraid the vast majority of
+_taisch_ tales are dreadful nonsense. Mr. MacCulloch, in his recent work
+on Skye, has usefully summarized the various types of second-sight as
+expounded by the very credulous Macleod of Hamera: (1) The seer is aware
+of a phantom winding-sheet enwrapping the doomed person; (2) he may see
+the corpse of some one still in life; (3) he may behold a drowning or
+accidental death; (4) he may hear noises as of a coffin being hammered;
+(5) he may see a living person dwindle to the size of a child, and anon
+expand to normal bulk. As Johnson remarks, many of the seers declared
+themselves poignantly afflicted by what they saw. Aubrey tells of a
+clairvoyant who asked the presbytery to pray that the gift (or curse)
+might be taken away. Instant prayer removed the obsession.
+
+The extraordinary futility and droll language of the sentences uttered
+by some of the seers are very mirth-provoking. Here are one or two
+prophecies of the Brahan Seer:--
+
+ "The heir of the Mackenzies will take
+ A white rook out of the wood,
+ And will take a wife from a music-house
+ With his people against him.
+ And the heir will be great
+ In deeds, and as an orator,
+ When the Pope in Rome
+ Will be cast off his throne,
+ Over opposite Creagh-a'-chon
+ Will dwell a little lean tailor," etc.
+
+The following is excellent: "_When the big-thumbed sheriff-officer and
+the blind man of the twenty-four fingers shall be together in Barra,
+Macneill may be making ready for the flitting._" It is said that the
+same seer prophesied thus of the Strathpeffer wells: "The day will come
+when this disagreeable spring, with thick-crusted surface and unpleasant
+smell, shall be put under lock and key, so great will be the crowd of
+people pressing to drink the waters."
+
+Belief in clairvoyance and prophecy was quite common among the Lowland
+Covenanters; and I believe _Peden's Prophecies_ may still be found among
+the lumber of the book-shops. An old lady, in Irvine, once repeated to
+me the following couplet, as having been uttered by Peden:--
+
+ "Between Segton and the sea
+ A bloody battle there shall be."
+
+Now, as Segton is the old name for Kilwinning, it would seem that the
+locale of the battle (probably, as the lady, indeed, thought, the battle
+of Armageddon) will be _in the immediate neighbourhood of the site at
+present occupied by Nobell's Dynamite Factory_.
+
+
+ANTIQUITIES OF DUNVEGAN.
+
+_Taisch_ has taken me a long way from Dunvegan, of which I meant to say
+something. No souvenir is to me more delicious than that of some days
+spent there, on one of which I visited the fine old castle of the
+Macleods, stablished on its rocks, and filled with romance from base to
+topmost turret. On the landward side are lawns, flowers, and abundance
+of eye-gladdening leafage, while, seaward, there is the unspeakable
+glory of isle-dotted loch and distant sea. By the kindness of Macleod of
+Macleod (you must not call that grand and most genial gentleman by any
+more garish title: he is _the_ Macleod; he typifies the clan--that is
+his highest glory), I visited the delightful old castle and saw every
+room, relic, and dirk of importance. What gave me the most pleasure was
+the illuminating commentary of Macleod himself and of his charming
+daughters. One cannot hear the history of some of the rooms without a
+feeling of terror. In the drawing-room of the castle (the room now used
+for prayers, and well it may be,) a horrible outrage was planned to take
+place by Black Ian, a usurping chief. The atrocious deed happened in the
+middle of the sixteenth century, and was due to Ian's fear that the
+Campbells, who had landed with a large force in Skye, would expel him
+from Dunvegan castle. Ian, pretending that he wished to discuss terms,
+invited eleven of the leading Campbells to a banquet. At table, Macleods
+and Campbells were seated side by side; and, at a given signal, which
+consisted in placing a cup of blood in front of each guest, all the
+Campbells were simultaneously stabbed to death, each Macleod
+exterminating his man. I was glad to get out of that drawing-room.
+
+The main relics in the castle are: (1) The Fairy Flag; (2) Rory Mor's
+Drinking-horn; and (3) the Dunvegan Cup.
+
+It is not as well known as it should be that one of the mediaeval chiefs
+of the Macleods married a fairy. This dainty little woman presented her
+lord with a yellow silk flag, dotted here and there with red spots. The
+virtue of the flag, she told him, resided in its efficacy to save the
+chief of the Macleods on three different occasions. After the third
+employment of the flag, it would flutter away to fairy-land. The flag
+has twice saved a chief out of a particularly awkward predicament, and
+it is still in Dunvegan, though sadly grimed and rent. The present
+chief, who has served his country nobly, is quite fit, in soldierly
+fashion, to grapple single-handed with any difficulty he may encounter;
+but he is in hopes that the flag may yield its residual virtue to the
+contentment of some one or other of his successors.
+
+Rory Mor's drinking-horn, which could contain, I should think, between
+two and three bottles of wine, is an interesting indication of
+pre-Reformation thirst. Of old, each chief as he came of age, was
+expected to drink off its contents at one draught as a proof that he had
+arrived at years of discretion.
+
+The cup is made of dark wood, and is finely adorned with silver work. It
+is dated 1493, and contains a Latin inscription.
+
+The Fairy Tower in Dunvegan Castle contains the room in which Dr.
+Johnson and Sir Walter Scott slept during their respective visits to the
+castle. The burly lexicographer would have little wind left for
+argument after he had toiled up the steep and narrow spiral stairway
+leading to the room. Formerly, so the smiling chief told me, the young
+lady chosen by the Macleod to be his wife, had to pass a night alone in
+this haunted chamber, in order that the fairies might have an
+opportunity of seeing her, and formally approving the choice.
+
+
+MISCELLANEOUS TERRORS.
+
+He who investigates Celtic demonology will hear a good deal about a
+gruesome and insidious animal called the _Water Horse_. This fell beast,
+though able at need to transform itself into the shape of a human being,
+is normally like a horse, though much bulkier and fiercer. Its usual
+abode is in the deep lochs, but it may occasionally be seen, with wreck
+or sea-weed clinging to its hoof or mane, feeding on the hill-side among
+earthly horses. The detestable feature about the brute is its fondness
+for human beings. There is no hope for any man, woman, or child, who
+gets upon its back: at a furious gallop, the animal bounds off by the
+nearest road to the loch, and leaps under the waves to devour its prey.
+Foals of a specially vicious turn are believed to have this brute for
+their sire: in some such way the furious nature of the horse called
+"Kelpy" in George Macdonald's story might be explained.
+
+Certain lochs in Skye are believed to harbour a variant terror, the
+water-bull. Loch Morar, on the mainland, contains a huge mystic bogie,
+undefined in shape, but of terrible malignity. I have heard too, in
+Uist, of a phantom dog, with eyes of glede and unearthly bark, that
+frequents the entrance to the old wayside burying-ground. No driver,
+unless fortified by several glasses, will drive you that way after dark.
+
+"Duncan," said a commercial traveller to a driver, "I'll have to go to
+Gruiginish farm to-night. Have everything ready at 8.30."
+
+"I can't do that, Mr. Smith; it'll be dark."
+
+"But you have lamps, Duncan."
+
+"Yes, yes, but I can't go. You have to pass the old cemetery."
+
+"I know that, but I must attend to my business. What ails you at the
+cemetery?"
+
+"There's the dog at the gate, the dog with the eyes of burning coal.
+What is he doing there? And the wee man inside, _What is he doing
+there?_"
+
+"I don't know what he's doing, but to Gruiginish this night I must go.
+Do you think a glass of _forked lightning_ would do you any good?"
+
+"Well, it might help."
+
+In spite of more than one glass of forked lightning, poor Duncan was in
+a terrible state of excitement when the cemetery was approached. He kept
+his head averted, and clutched the reins so nervously that the vehicle
+was in imminent danger of being upset.
+
+It is a beautiful saying of Goldsmith that innocently to amuse the
+imagination in this dream of life is wisdom. Judged by this standard,
+the imaginative operations taking place in Duncan's brain, considering
+their effect on his happiness, cannot be pronounced either innocent or
+wise. To add ideal terrors to the prosaic hardships of a place like Uist
+is the very height of folly. And yet it is precisely in such bare and
+rough regions where man has to fight with nature as with a constant
+foe, that the unseen powers are believed to be most terrible. The
+_lutin_ of the smiling land of France is a mere capering trickster, and
+the "lubber fiend" of Milton's poem is pictured as an unpaid adjunct of
+the dairy. Duncan's "wee man up on the hill-side" is a permanent and
+unspeakable horror of the night. "_What is he doing there?_"[29]
+
+ [29] Collins's long _Ode on Popular Superstitions in the
+ Highlands of Scotland_, addressed to Home, author of _Douglas_,
+ contains some excellent rhetorical passages. Speaking of the
+ second-sighted seer, Collins represents him as one who
+
+ "In the _depth of Uist's dark forest_ dwells."
+
+ We may say of Uist what Lord Rosebery said of Caithness, that it
+ is _entirely delivered from the contaminating influence of
+ foliage_. The air one breathes there does not suffer
+ deterioration by coming through any such _dark forest_ as Collins
+ mentions: it blows from the Atlantic in an absolutely pure and
+ strong condition.
+
+
+ST. KILDA.
+
+St. Kilda, the lonely and precipitous island, forty miles west of Lewis,
+which Boswell at one time thought of buying, has now, like so many other
+islands of the West, a well-furnished library from Paisley. I hope the
+minister of the place encourages the reading of the books, and does
+everything in his power to broaden the religious views of the people by
+healthy secular literature. A luckless inspector of schools crossed over
+once to examine the school of this island. His boat arrived late on
+Saturday, and was to leave again early on Monday. To suit his own
+convenience, the greatly-daring official proposed to examine the
+scholars on Sunday. Never was their such indignation among the
+islanders. What! examine the school on the first day of the week! Did
+the unhappy man wish the wrath of Heaven to fall in fire and brimstone
+on the island? The inspector was angrily hooted and denounced. Still, as
+he must needs return by his steamer, the islanders agreed to send their
+children immediately after Sunday was over, _i.e._, _the bairns were
+assembled at midnight_, and parts of speech were bandied about then in
+the visible darkness of the tiny school.
+
+St. Kilda belongs to the Macleod, and every spring the factor goes over
+to collect the rents. All winter the island is isolated, and has no
+outer news save, perhaps, from some stray Aberdeen trawler. For twenty
+years the factor went over in a sailing-boat belonging to the chief, but
+by some mishap, in which no lives were lost, this boat was
+ill-manoeuvred and, with sails full-set, was engulfed in a whirlpool.
+He now goes over in the steamer.
+
+The first question propounded to the factor is this: "_Has there been
+war anywhere, my dear?_" If the answer is "Yes," a great joy is visible
+on every face. "_That's good, that's good: tell us all about it._"
+Having heard all about the war, the natives show an eagerness for
+sweets, of which they are inordinately fond.
+
+The natives are expert cragsmen, and much of their time is occupied in
+collecting birds' feathers. The oil of the solan goose is also a source
+of wealth. Rough tweeds are now woven in many of the houses. The factor
+informed me that, for some unknown reason, everything that comes from
+the island is impregnated with a heavy odour that is most disagreeable.
+Means have been tried to neutralise this smell, but success is only for
+a time: by and by the odour returns, as bad as ever, to fabric and
+feather. Merchants, both at home and abroad, are loath to purchase such
+unfragrant wares.
+
+In Dunvegan Castle are to be seen several of the little letter-boats
+employed by the St. Kildeans to convey news to Scotland in the winter
+months. The tide is watched, and the letter-boat cast into the sea.
+Usually the message is washed ashore on some part of the Long Island.
+Natural superstition supplements, in a small degree, the lack of mails:
+when the islanders, for example, hear _the notes of the cuckoo_, they
+are convinced that the Macleod is dead. Happily the cuckoo is rarely
+heard breaking the silence of the seas so far west.
+
+
+LADY GRANGE.
+
+To this day there are in the possession of the Macleod family certain
+old accounts of the years 1744 and 1745, that recall one of the most
+diabolical and continuous pieces of cruelty recorded in history. I refer
+to the accounts paid in these years to the Laird of Macleod for the
+board and burial of Lady Grange. No one who knows the history of that
+ill-fated lady can look at these time-stained documents without a
+knocking of the seated heart at the ribs.
+
+Everyone who has enjoyed the light and graceful poetry of Ovid, has
+sighed over the relegation of that city man to the barbarous horrors of
+the Black Sea. As Gibbon exquisitely phrases it: "The tender Ovid,
+after a youth spent in the enjoyment of wealth and luxury, was condemned
+to a hopeless exile on the frozen banks of the Danube, where he was
+exposed without remorse to those fierce denizens of the desert with
+whose stern spirits he feared that his gentle shade might hereafter be
+confounded." The banishment of Lady Grange to St. Kilda, in 1734, by her
+rascally husband, is to me fully as pathetic as Ovid's expatriation to
+Tomi. She, a refined and beautiful woman, the light of Edinburgh
+drawing-rooms, was hustled off to a lonely rock and left remorselessly
+to pine there amid the squalls. Let me briefly summarise this affecting
+history.
+
+Lord Grange, a Scottish judge of strong Jacobite leanings, was known by
+his Lady to be concerned in a plot, along with Lovat, Mar, and others,
+to bring back the Pretender. This was in the year 1730. Stung in her
+wifely pride by her husband's ill-treatment and licentiousness, she
+openly threatened to expose his treason. To prevent such exposure,
+Grange caused his wife to be kidnapped and clandestinely conveyed first
+to a small island off North Uist, and subsequently to St. Kilda. In the
+latter island, no one could speak any English except the catechist, and
+here for seven years this polished society dame lived amid the blasts
+and the screaming ocean-fowl, lacking even the privilege, which Ovid
+enjoyed, of sending letters to child or friend. In 1741, when the
+catechist left the island, she made him bearer of letters to her
+law-agent, Hope of Rankeillor. Hope fitted out a sloop, with twenty-five
+armed men on board, and set out for St. Kilda to rescue the lady.
+Macleod, who was, of course, privy to her detention, at once removed her
+to Skye, and Hope's expedition came to nothing. The poor woman, worn out
+with sorrow and suffering, died in 1745, a helpless imbecile!
+
+The story, which throws a lurid light on the savagery of the eighteenth
+century, and which, to my thinking, surpasses in pathos anything
+occurring in fiction, was long disbelieved. But it was only too true. It
+is said that ill-luck pursued the lady even after death, and that her
+funeral was a miserable parody. A coffin filled with stones and turf was
+interred, before a large crowd, in the churchyard of Duirinish, the real
+remains being, with maimed rites or none at all, secretly buried
+elsewhere.
+
+It is noteworthy that Lady Grange died in 1745, the year when Prince
+Charlie's hopes were shattered on Culloden Moor. Like her, he too had
+the ill-luck to be a hopeless wanderer in the Misty Isle.
+
+
+PIERLESS TIREE.
+
+I regret to say that I did not stay long enough in the island of Tiree
+to add to my store of legends, and yet, I went there with a capacious
+note-book and excellent intentions. What is more, I read from beginning
+to end, Dr. Erskine Beveridge's detailed book on the island, and could
+have passed an examination on semi-brochs, rock-forts, marsh duns,
+islet-forts, sandhill dwellings, and prehistoric burial-sites. I steeped
+myself so thoroughly in the _minutiae_ of pre-Reformation churches, that
+I almost forgot to go to the modern ones. Tiree took hold of me
+completely, and so did the Norse invaders of the Hebrides--men like
+Ketil Flatnose, Magnus Barelegs, Hako, and Somerled. I got a pocket map
+arranged for my own use (copied from Dr. Beveridge's large one) with a
+red cross at all the sites of ancient forts. It was my fond hope, for
+pride attends us still, that I might find some inaccuracy in Dr.
+Beveridge's book, and, from measurements on the spot, be able to
+contradict some of his statements. But what are the hopes of man! I did
+not know that predestination, in the form of dirty weather, was working
+against me, and was about to quench all my interest in _duns_. On
+September 5th, 1907, I determined to take Dr. Beveridge's measurements
+for granted.
+
+On that day, in fact, I was for some time under the impression that my
+last lecture had been delivered. It was on the way between Coll and
+Tiree. The gale was a furious one and, combined with the greasy odours
+of the _Fingal_, was enough to sicken a practised seafarer. I did notice
+that some of the crew were prostrated, so that there was some excuse for
+a landsman not being proof against Neptune's dandling. So low, exposed,
+and precarious is the shore at Scarinish, that, often for weeks, the
+ferrymen dare not venture out to the steamer for passengers. I asked one
+of the _Fingal_ men if there was any chance of being landed. He was a
+cruel cynic, and said: "No, not to-day. The sea is too wild for the
+ferry to come out. We'll go right across to Bunessan in Mull, so prepare
+for three more hours' shaking. You won't forget the _Dutchman's Cap_
+for the rest of your life." Then with a remark addressed to the
+Creator, he added: "_There's the ferryboat after all; she's racing over
+the water like a stag._"
+
+He was right: the lugsail was careering out to us and came alongside at
+length, and, after fearful trouble, got fastened to the _Fingal_.
+Sometimes the ferryboat was even with our deck, sometimes far above it,
+sometimes fifteen feet below. It looked like certain death to leap into
+that lugsail.
+
+I hesitated, and shouted to the captain: "Is it safe to jump?"
+
+He replied, "I wish to Tophet I had the chance."
+
+I watched for the next opportunity of the ferryboat and the _Fingal_
+being approximately on the same plane, and leaped into the arms of a
+boatman.
+
+Other passengers followed,--men, women, even babies. Then came the
+mails; and finally, live stock. I remember being struck on the mouth by
+a sheep heaved into the boat by the above-mentioned cynic. "Come, come,
+that's enough, keep the rest; let us be off," shouted a boatman.
+Everybody was wet to the skin: the wind was howling; the women weeping;
+and the babies were mixed up with the sheep.
+
+Once clear of the _Fingal_, the adroit ferrymen did their duty well, and
+in less than ten minutes we were all landed. A crowd of islanders were
+waiting to lift us out. All agreed that it had been a _close shave_.
+
+Such was my introduction to _Pierless Tiree_.
+
+I did not stay long enough in the island to measure brochs, but quite
+long enough to experience the good-will and kindliness of the natives.
+The houses are solid and substantial, the inhabitants strong and
+muscular. Great gales from the Atlantic blow almost continually, sweep
+up the sand in clouds, and prevent any trees from taking root. I did not
+see much poverty with my own eyes, but the ministers all assured me
+there was a great deal. Maize, more than oatmeal, is the cereal used for
+porridge. For supplementary information, Dr. Beveridge's admirable and
+accurate work may be consulted.
+
+
+LOCHBUIE IN MULL.
+
+The great straggling island of Mull, so full of scenery, romance, and
+song, still awaits its historian. Few, who have ever visited the noble
+isle, will refuse to say with Macphail, the bard of Torosay:
+
+ "O the island of Mull is an isle of delight
+ With the wave on the shore and the sun on the height,
+ And the breeze on the hills and the blast on the Bens,
+ And the old green woods and the old grassy glens."
+
+The gem of the island is undoubtedly the haven of Lochbuie, one of the
+choicest nooks in insular Scotland. The modern mansion, which is but a
+step or two from the well-preserved castle of olden times, is quite near
+the shore, and looks straight south over the Atlantic to the island of
+Colonsay. The entire surroundings are a delight to the eye: great
+towering mountains behind, the sea in front, and in the space between,
+green lawns, rocks, gorse, and many-tinted garden-plots.
+
+The MacLaines of Lochbuie trace their descent from the great Gillean of
+the Battle-axe, a redoubtable warrior who flourished his weapon to some
+purpose in the reign of Alexander III. But the most notorious of all
+the MacLaines is _Ewen of the Little Head_, who died in battle, and
+thereafter assumed the role of family ghost. Before the death of any of
+his race, this phantom-warrior gallops along the sea-beach near the
+castle, announcing the event by cries and loud lamentations. The doctor,
+who attended the present chief's mother, declares that, while sitting
+beside her bed during the silent watches of the night, he heard the
+noise of the spectral horse just before the old lady's decease. The
+natives of Mull can describe the ghost and horse with accurate detail.
+The horse is a small, hardy, sure-footed animal of brown colour, and
+Ewen is known by the smallness of his head, and by a long floating
+mantle of green. He performed a weird and long-continued gallop round
+the bay in 1815, before the news of the valiant Sir Archibald MacLaine's
+death became known by official despatch from the seat of war.
+
+Lochbuie, like so many other places in Scotland, has its Piper's Cave.
+There is a remarkable similarity in all such tales--diversified,
+however, by quaint local additions. MacLaine's piper, a foolhardy man,
+determined once to test the allegation that a certain cave on Lochbuie
+was connected with another cave at Pennygown on the Sound of Mull.
+Attired in his official costume and having his dog at his heels, he
+entered the cave, blowing his pipes triumphantly. Those above, on the
+hills, were able to make out his line of passage by the sound of the
+music. At a certain point the pipes ceased, and nevermore did the piper
+come up to the shores of light. The dog got to the cave of Pennygown--a
+limp and hairless parody of its former self.
+
+Browning, in his "Pied Piper of Hamelin," has but poetised one version
+of a world-wide tale. Often, in the Highland tales, it is money the
+piper is after. There is a deep cave near Melvaig, in Wester Ross, into
+which a piper is said to have led a band of men in search of gold, and
+never returned. In this case the pipe-music is said to have continued
+for years--some natives even asserting that it may be heard still by
+those who have ears to hear.
+
+In spite of all the legendary lore connected with the family of the
+MacLaines, the chief interest of Lochbuie for a lover of literature,
+centres round the visit of Boswell and Johnson. In one of the rooms of
+the castle there is a fine portrait of Johnson. On looking at it, my
+mind reverted to the amusing question addressed to the sage by the
+"bluff, comely, noisy old gentleman" who was the laird of Lochbuie in
+1773: "Are you of the Johnstons of Glencro or of Ardnamurchan?" "Dr.
+Johnson," says Boswell, "gave him a significant look, but made no
+answer; and I told Lochbuie that he was not Johnston, but Johnson, and
+that he was an Englishman."
+
+I regret to say that the great war saddle, which was in Lochbuie's
+possession in 1773, and which Boswell did not see because the young
+laird had taken it to Falkirk with a drove of black cattle, is no longer
+in the island: somebody took it to America, and forgot to bring it
+back.
+
+The present laird is greatly beloved by his tenantry. At the lecture I
+gave at Lochbuie, he was unable, owing to illness, to take the chair.
+His absence was a terrible grief to the people, and the piper of the
+family, in a brief speech, alluded in a most touching way to the sorrow
+felt by all present.[30]
+
+
+INVERARAY CASTLE.
+
+Three days after Johnson and his friend left Lochbuie, they were
+entertained by the Duke of Argyll in Inveraray Castle. Boswell's
+description of the incidents of this visit is one of his finest efforts.
+He tells us that Johnson admired the "utter defiance of expense" shown
+by the Duke in the building and appointments of the place. Records exist
+which show that the masons were paid at the rate of 41/2d. a day,
+_plus_ a weekly bonus of meal!
+
+It is interesting to note that the Rev. John Macaulay (grandfather of
+Lord Macaulay) was one of the ministers of Inveraray in 1773. Boswell
+gives him a very high character, but this had no emollient effect on the
+great historian, when he came to review _Croker's Edition of Boswell's
+Johnson_.
+
+Inveraray Castle is a superb object-lesson in Scotch history. All the
+Campbells of note for centuries past are hanging on the walls, from the
+old Duke who passed away last, to the squinting Marquis (_Gleed Argyll_
+mentioned in the "Bonnie House o' Airlie"), who was beheaded on the
+Castle Hill of Edinburgh in 1661. The Duke, who commanded at Sheriffmuir
+("when we ran and they ran, and they ran and we ran," etc.) is standing
+in his accoutrements of pride, painted by the son of Allan Ramsay:
+
+ "Argyll the State's whole thunder, born to wield
+ And shake alike the Senate and the Field."
+
+Mediaeval armour, firelocks from Culloden, flags from a score of
+battlefields, mutely suggest the glory and gore of the olden times. It
+is impossible to walk through the rooms of such a place without feeling
+intimately in touch with the events of the past.
+
+The present hotel is the one in which Johnson and his biographer lodged.
+Burns came sixteen years later, and wrote on the pane of his bedroom
+window the scandalous epigram on Inveraray so often quoted. The present
+Duke (who has perpetrated a fair amount of poetry himself) would give
+much of his odd cash to recover that pane, which was cut out some years
+ago by a pilfering visitor.[31]
+
+ [30] I am inclined to think that the relationship formerly
+ existing between the Highland chief and the member of his clan
+ was perfect in its way--a _model_ of class relationship. There
+ was nothing menial about the clansman's attitude, though he gave
+ unbounded homage to his lord. At the battle of Inverkeithing, a
+ clansman and his seven sons gave up their lives to shield from
+ death their chieftain, Sir Hector Maclean. As the old man saw his
+ boys fall one after the other, he shouted with glee and pride,
+ "_Another for Sir Hector!_" until he himself lay, like a true
+ thane, beside his progeny. Nothing could be finer or more
+ touching than such a scene.
+
+ [31] Burns tells us that when in Inveraray Hotel, he was entirely
+ neglected by the servants, who gave all their attention to some
+ gentlemen from the Castle. In our day, the Campbells have shown
+ contrition by their willingness to admit that Burns was one of
+ their own clan. Burns's ancestors were, it is said, Campbells of
+ Taynuilt. Taynuilt means in English, Burnhouse. When the poet's
+ ancestors emigrated to Forfarshire, they were known as _Campbells
+ from Burnhouse_. In course of time the appellation was shortened
+ into Burnhouse simply, and latterly into Burness or
+ Burns.--Q.E.D.
+
+
+THE SACRED ISLE.
+
+Wordsworth came to Iona (which also belongs to the Argyll family) in
+1833, and wrote four poor sonnets on the sacred isle. This is what he
+saw:
+
+ "To each voyager
+ Some ragged child holds up for sale a store
+ Of wave-worn pebbles, pleading on the shore
+ Where once came monk and nun with gentle stir."
+
+Owing to its ecclesiastical renown as the cradle of Christianity in
+Britain, no island is so much visited as Iona. The audience I addressed
+was the most miscellaneous I have ever seen: there were boatmen and
+barristers, anglers and artists, curates and crofters, French and
+Germans.
+
+The present-day natives seem desirous of keeping up the old reputation
+for theology. The boatman who ferries visitors ashore, remarked to me
+with pride that his favourite book was one entitled _The Great
+Controversy between God and the Devil_, a book with which I was, and am
+still, unacquainted.
+
+Dr. Johnson's remarks on Iona remain the most eloquent tribute to the
+island. He never wrote anything finer. All the children in the Iona
+school should be made to learn the piece by heart.[32]
+
+It is most gratifying to think that Christianity has been the great
+purifying force in Europe. The introduction of Christianity into the
+world must be reckoned as the most revolutionary event of history.
+Nothing was ever more needed. To one who knows the morality of the most
+brilliant society of the Greeks and Romans, there is no need to extol
+the pure and lofty moral tone of Jesus of Nazareth. But those who have
+not read the masterpieces of ancient art, with their mingled beauty and
+foulness, may be assured that literature owes more to Christianity than
+has ever yet been told. With Christianity a great healthy breeze swept
+over the world. Men became ashamed of wallowing in the mire. An ideal
+was raised up before them for their worship and imitation. The old Adam
+and his deeds needed stern repression after the wild iniquities of the
+effete society of imperial Rome. The spirit needed to curb the flesh,
+literature needed to be cleansed. We, living to-day and nursed on the
+accumulated tradition of so many anterior Christian centuries, are
+sometimes disposed to minimise the debt we owe, in pure and simple
+morality, to the teachings of the New Testament. I find it impossible to
+imagine what the world would be without these teachings. They renewed
+the world, they made it do penance for its sins, they made advance
+practicable. An entirely retrograde movement is impossible when once man
+is indoctrinated with a grand ideal.
+
+ [32] Boswell's religious instincts come well out in his account
+ of the visit to Iona. Two of his descendants, Messrs. Albert and
+ James Boswell, devoted themselves entirely to religion, and were
+ well known in Ayrshire, thirty years ago, as zealous evangelists.
+ These two gentlemen went on a preaching campaign through the
+ northern islands, and did much highly appreciated philanthropic
+ and religious work there. They were members of the sect called
+ Plymouth Brethren.
+
+
+APPIN.
+
+In this chapter (as, indeed, in all the others) I am rummaging among my
+souvenirs for materials that are in some way noteworthy. It is utterly
+impossible to exhaust the romance and glamour of the Highlands. Those
+who go regularly North are certain to bring back, on each occasion, a
+host of interesting memories. "Swift as a weaver's shuttle fly our
+years": the chief difficulty is to jot down all that one sees and hears.
+
+On the occasion of my second visit to Appin, I stayed in the fine new
+hotel built on the eminence called Druim-an-t-Sealbhain. The landlord is
+a man of great wit and reading, and with him I had some enjoyable hours
+of miscellaneous conversation. Mr. Macdonald (for that is his name) has
+an excellent knowledge of the Celtic dialects, has translated into
+Gaelic verse some of the best-known poems of Burns, Tannahill, and
+Byron, and is extremely clever at retailing the legendary tales that
+still go rumouring along the Strath of Appin. He has also a good
+knowledge of English literature, and told me certain details regarding
+Scott and Wordsworth which I was pleased to know.
+
+It seems that Sir Walter was at one time tutor in Appin House, and was
+in the habit of visiting the cot of an old shepherd, a notorious
+_seanachie_, full of romantic lore, for the purpose of hearing, and
+writing down, the old man's tales. An oak tree is still pointed out,
+under which, it is said, Scott composed part of _The Lord of the Isles_.
+Appin is not very far from the castles of Dunollie and Dunstaffnage,
+which Sir Walter wrought skilfully into the texture of his tales.
+
+The most interesting item mentioned by Mr. Macdonald had reference to
+the visit of William Wordsworth and his sister Dorothy, in the year
+1803. Everyone who has read the life of the great poet of Nature knows
+the charming description of the district contained in one of his
+sister's letters. "We arrived," she says, "at Port-na-croish. It is a
+small village--a few huts and an indifferent inn, by the side of the
+loch; ordered a fowl for dinner, had a fire lighted, and went a few
+steps from the door up the road, and turning aside into a field, stood
+at the top of a low eminence, from which, looking down the loch to the
+sea through a long vista of hills and mountains, _we beheld one of the
+most delightful prospects that, even when we dream of fairer worlds than
+this, it is possible to conceive in our hearts_." Here follows a
+description so exquisite of the sea-scenery and the Morven Hills, that
+it deserves to be classed with the finest examples of word-painting in
+the English language.
+
+The new hotel at Appin is built on the low eminence referred to in the
+above-cited letter. The name Druim-an-t-Sealbhain is giving way to the
+complimentary title of "Dorothy Wordsworth's View." From the front
+windows of the hotel, the same calm inland seas, grassy hills, Morven
+mists, grim old forts, and intricate communion of land and water, can be
+seen precisely as they were seen by the Wordsworths more than a century
+ago. The Port-na-croish inn has become a village store: it is well
+worthy of note, not merely for the reference in the letter, but for a
+fine legend, which I shall now narrate.
+
+
+MACDONALD'S GRATITUDE.
+
+The first tenant of the inn was a Macdonald of Glencoe, a man between
+sixty and seventy at the time of the story, the year 1755 namely. He had
+around him a family of stalwart sons, all imbued with intense hatred of
+the clan Campbell. The peculiar and fiendish malignity of the terrible
+massacre of Glencoe precluded all possibility of forgiveness on the part
+of the clan. Highland hospitality has always been a lavish and
+magnificent thing, and Colonel Campbell and his assassins had been
+treated with exceptional kindness in Glencoe. The bloody outrage, in a
+midnight of winter snows, was too terrible a meed of hospitality to be
+readily forgotten or forgiven by the Macdonalds. This old innkeeper of
+Port-na-croish, then, hated the Campbells with the unquenchable hate
+that deep wrongs, done not alone to an individual but to a tribe,
+engender in the Celtic soul.
+
+One day a white-bearded wayfarer begged food and shelter in the little
+hostel, and in the course of conversation over the meal that was soon
+spread on the board for his wants, he let slip an avowal that, in his
+youth, as one of Campbell's men, he had taken part in the gruesome
+massacre of the "valley of weeping." Without more ado, the landlord
+slipped out and posted his sons at the door, with whispered orders to
+them that the stranger should be dirked to death on crossing the
+threshold of the inn. Returning indoors, old Macdonald, dissimulating
+his fell intentions, proceeded to ply the visitor with question upon
+question, so as to gain a detailed knowledge of all the incidents of the
+weird carnage. Finally he said, "Tell me, Campbell, what part of that
+devilish business made the strongest impression on your mind?" "I will
+tell you," said the old soldier, "what to me was the outstanding
+incident of that night. Towards the close of the massacre, a child's
+voice was heard piercingly on the night air--a scream it was, and seemed
+to come from no great distance. The captain sent me in the direction of
+the sound, bidding me, if the child should be a male Macdonald, to kill
+it forthwith; if a girl, to spare. I soon came up to the place whence
+the sound proceeded, and saw through the whirling snow, under the
+protection of a jutting cliff, a nurse with a boy of four years old,
+both of them wailing and shivering with cold. The child was gnawing a
+bone and, near by, a dog was crouching. Pity wrung my heart. I drove my
+bayonet through the trembling cur, and, going back to the captain,
+showed him the bloody steel as a proof that I had obeyed his commands."
+
+The innkeeper, who had been all ears, said: "You, then, were that
+soldier?" "I was, indeed," replied the old wanderer. "_And I was that
+child!_" said the landlord, "and _your_ life is saved. My sons stand at
+the threshold of the inn, ready to fall upon you when you leave. I
+countermand the order for your destruction. Here you shall stay, an
+honoured guest, till the end of your days, as a recompense for saving my
+life on that awful night."
+
+The story goes on to state that the foot-weary Campbell lived for some
+years a pensioner in Port-na-croish inn, and was buried at the expense
+of the grateful innkeeper. I do not know any story that comes nearer
+perfection.
+
+
+NOTES ON THE TROSSACHS.
+
+The Rev. Mr. Wilson, the cultured and genial minister of the Trossachs,
+has recently published a most readable little book on the district he
+knows so well. Perhaps no district indeed on the world's surface is so
+well known (even to those who have never seen it), as the Trossachs.
+Little did Sir Walter suspect, when he penned the stirring iambics of
+_The Lady of the Lake_, that he was furnishing materials to the
+pedagogue which would be parsed, analysed, and dissected by myriads of
+pupils in all the schools of the British Empire. We shall all carry with
+us to the grave the leading passages of that romantic lay: the
+stag-hunt, the duel at Coilantogle Ford, the whistle that garrisoned the
+glen, and the episode of the Fiery Cross. Such lines, we may say, have
+gone out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world.
+Happening to pass Strathyre station in July, 1907, I was requested by a
+bright-eyed little Japanese gentleman in the compartment to tell him
+where we were. On being informed, he (after casting an eye of pity on
+the deplorable stork that is supposed to decorate the drinking-fountain
+of the station), began to declaim, in capital English, the passage that
+begins--
+
+ "Benledi saw the Cross of Fire,
+ It glanced like lightning up Strathyre,
+ O'er dale and hill the summons flew,
+ Nor rest nor pause young Angus knew;
+ The tear that gathered in his eye
+ He left the mountain breeze to dry."
+
+Mr. Wilson's book to which I have alluded is a collection of the
+impressions written down by eminent visitors to the locality, from
+Dorothy Wordsworth to Queen Victoria. Carlyle, who was in Perthshire in
+1818, wrote the following note, which, though short, is finely
+characteristic of him: "The Trossachs I found really grand and
+impressive, Loch Katrine exquisitely so, my first taste of the beautiful
+in scenery. Not so, any of us, the dirty, smoky farm-hut at the
+entrance, with no provision in it but bad oatcakes and unacceptable
+whisky, or the Mrs. Stewart who somewhat royally presided over it, and
+dispensed these dainties, expecting to be flattered like an
+independency, as well as paid like an innkeeper." The foregoing note, by
+itself, is good value for the cost of Mr. Wilson's book (two shillings,
+namely), and raises regrets that the author of _Sartor_ did not travel
+oftener through the Land of Cakes. (The only other place in the
+Highlands where I have heard Carlyle spoken of, is Kyleakin in Skye,
+where he was the guest of Lady Ashburton, and where (as the natives
+say), the cocks and hens had to be removed out of ear-shot for his
+convenience.)
+
+One of Mr. Wilson's stories (contributed by a lady) is apposite at the
+present time, when so much is being heard of women's rights. Glengyle, a
+district of the Trossachs, was once _entirely ruled_ by a number of
+women, who constituted a sort of High Court with women as Judge and
+Jury. "The most notorious case which they dealt with, and which probably
+led to their downfall through drawing the ridicule of the country upon
+them, was a case of horse-stealing. The accused man had been seen riding
+furiously away on someone else's horse, and all evidence pointed to his
+guilt. To the astonishment of the outsiders, the jury returned a verdict
+of 'not guilty,' and the Judge on summing up declared the horse was the
+culprit, as it had run away with the man. _She condemned the unfortunate
+animal to be hanged, and hanged it was, while the man got off scot
+free._"
+
+
+LOCHFYNE-SIDE.
+
+None of the mainland counties of Scotland can boast of such wonderful
+ramifications of sea and loch as the county of Argyll. The present
+amiable and cultured head of the Clan Campbell declaimed, with great
+applause, at a social gathering not long ago, a fine poem, in which the
+beauties of his ancestral shire were floridly--but not
+unjustly--elaborated. It would be difficult to over-praise the county of
+Argyll, with its splendid sea-board, its rugged and impressive peaks,
+and its unrivalled fiords and lakes. Thanks to its proximity to large
+centres of population, few counties are so much visited. Its fame, in
+our day, is likely to be more widespread than ever, owing to the
+graceful and entertaining writings of Mr. Neil Munro, who probably
+knows the details of its local history better than any man living, and
+who possesses the inimitable art of interesting others in his
+delineations of the past. I confess that I feel, personally, as much
+interest in the Wars of Lorn as I do in the Siege of Sphacteria, and
+that "Glee'd Argyll" seems fully as attractive as Cleon or Brasidas.
+
+Of course, long before Mr. Munro, Loch Fyne had a European reputation,
+which it owed to its herring. The Popes of Rome used to eat these
+herring in mediaeval times, and sent for them _via_ Amsterdam or Antwerp.
+Orthodox Catholics have always had good judgment in the matter of fish,
+and especially the French, who belong to a country which proudly boasts
+of being _the eldest daughter of the Church_. For many a generation the
+French came annually to Lochgilphead, and bartered their kegs of claret
+for barrels of salt herring. The French Revolution, among its many other
+effects, put a stop to this trade. War lasted for so many years between
+Britain and France, that, at the end of it all, the continental sailors
+had forgotten the way to Loch Fyne.
+
+Argyllshire is rich in legends, for many of which no date can be given
+except the elastic one _long ago_ or _in byegone times_. Let me cite one
+or two of these:--
+
+
+MACIVORS, MACVICARS, AND MACALLISTERS.
+
+On the road to Kilmartin is a place called the Robber's Den, the
+locality of which may be firmly fixed in the tourist's memory by noting
+that it is just behind a large distillery. Here, long ago, lived one
+Macvicar, whose wife was a Macivor. These names are important, and so
+also is that of the Macallisters of Tarbert, who one day stole cattle
+belonging to the Macivors. Mrs. Macvicar noticed these Tarbert
+scoundrels driving her father's cattle through the glen, and mentioned
+the fact to her boy. Young Macvicar followed the robbers, and found them
+in a forest feeding joyously on a slain bullock belonging to his
+grandfather. As each Macallister finished picking a bone, he would throw
+it violently against a big stone, remarking at the same time, with a
+chuckle: "_If a Macivor were here, that's how I would treat him_." The
+boy, from his hiding-place in the foliage, threw a stone and struck one
+of the feasters. The injured man blamed one of his own clansmen, and,
+after much recrimination, a free fight of Macallisters was the result.
+During the melee, the boy slunk off and told his mother's family what
+was happening. The Macivors, in a furious and determined band, soon fell
+upon their disordered foes, and completely routed them and regained
+their cattle, _minus_ the consumed bullock. The chief of the
+Macallisters was slain by a woman, who took off her stocking, placed a
+_large stone therein_, and heaved it at his head. That same night, Mrs.
+Macallister, wife of the chieftain thus ignominiously laid low, gave
+birth, perhaps prematurely, to a son, whom the care of a discriminate
+midwife secreted from the vengeance of the Macivors, who were howling
+all round the house. This child grew up to manhood with the picture of
+the stone-laden stocking ever before his mind's eye. He prepared a most
+effective retaliation: he sent to Ireland and got over a large band of
+Antrim men, who were quite pleased to help him in his bloody projects.
+The Macivors were completely overpowered, and even the Macvicars had a
+taste of Irish steel. Macvicar, father of the boy who distinguished
+himself in the wood, was attacked in his own house. He was an athlete of
+great powers, and was _able to jump thirty feet either in a backward or
+a forward direction_. The Irishmen set fire to his house, and
+Macvicar--hoping, no doubt, to make a final leap for life--tried to
+escape by the chimney. His foes struck him on the knee with a spear: he
+fell into their hands, and was at once despatched.
+
+
+RED HECTOR.
+
+We hear a good deal of the Irish in the traditions of Argyllshire. The
+ruthless Colkitto, notorious for his own deeds and also for Milton's
+mention of him, brought over a contingent of men from Ireland to help
+Montrose in the Royalist wars. These auxiliaries swooped down on
+Kintyre, murdered hundreds of Campbells, and devastated with fire and
+sword the whole of Argyll's country. To this period belongs the story of
+Red Hector and the Irish colossus, Phadrig Mor.
+
+Hector was a little, red-haired kern of the Campbell clan, who was
+caught by Colkitto's men skulking in the wood, and dragged with pinioned
+arms before the son of that bandit. Hector was about to be hanged
+without more ado, but as preparations were being made he cried out:
+"_Give me a sword and I'll fight any one of you. If I am beaten, kill me
+then._" The Irishmen, to whom an "illigant foight" has always been
+welcome, agreed to the proposal of Red Hector. They chose Phadrig Mor, a
+fierce giant of a man, to fight with the little fellow. The latter, to
+neutralise the advantages of Phadrig's stature, leapt nimbly on the sawn
+stump of a tree, and, in an attitude of defence, awaited the oncoming of
+his foe. The wee man parried most dexteriously every blow that Phadrig
+wished to deal, and there was much mirth and excitement among the
+spectators. At length, seeing a terrific blow coming his way, Hector
+speedily leapt off the trunk of the tree, and the Irishman's sword came
+fiercely down and was embedded in the timber. Now was Hector's chance:
+he laid about the defenceless giant to such purpose that Phadrig was
+soon a corpse.
+
+
+MACPHAIL OF COLONSAY.
+
+Leyden, the polyglott poet, has written a poem on an Argyllshire
+tradition attaching to the whirlpool of Corryvreckan. Near that dreaded
+tumult of waters, Macphail, a Colonsay man, was pulled out of his boat
+by a mermaid, and taken down to her shell-strewn chamber at the bottom
+of the sea. They stayed for years together, and five little, unbaptized
+Macphails claimed him at length as their sire. By and by he grew tired
+of the eternal swirling of the currents, the saltwater garden growths,
+and the irritating deflection of the sunlight. His mind continued to
+revert to Colonsay and the girl he had left behind him there. One day he
+got the mermaid to take him near the strand of his native island,
+whereupon he suddenly leapt ashore and escaped. In future years he
+avoided the sea as much as possible, preferring to devote his time and
+talents to cultivating the soil of Colonsay.
+
+
+TALES FROM SPEYSIDE.
+
+Part of my purpose in this chapter is to show to any of my readers who
+may have poetical talents, that abundance of material for verse, and
+that of the most pathetic, thrilling, and gruesome kind, is still to be
+found in the North country. No one since Scott has thought fit to draw
+much on traditions of the Highlands: and though Scott poetised a great
+many of these, plenty of them still remain unsung. Many fine tales are
+associated with the delightful district of Speyside.
+
+
+TOM EUNAN!
+
+Near the little village of Kincraig is a queer old church built on a
+hill called Tom Eunan, just beside the Spey. This church is declared to
+be the only one in Scotland in which services have been continuously
+held since the seventh century. The outside is antique in the extreme;
+inside, there have been renovations: there is a deal of varnished
+wainscoating that would have scared the Culdees, and instead of the
+uneven cobble stones of old, there is a modern floor of wood. On one of
+the windows of the church, there is a fine old bronze bell that exists
+as a relic of Culdee times. Some profane person once laid hands on this
+bell and carried it off to Perth; but it _would not_ ring away from
+Speyside. To speak figuratively, the bell was broken-hearted: from its
+metallic tongue, night and day, came the mournful wail, "Tom Eunan, Tom
+Eunan." I am happy to say that it was brought back to its beloved
+hillock.
+
+Rural churches with earthen floors were not uncommon in Scotland even in
+the nineteenth century: in such there would be no great trouble in
+interring the dead. Two Speyside stories, dealing with kirks and
+kirkyards, are told of the Grants of Rothiemurchus.
+
+
+SHAWS AND GRANTS.
+
+For several generations the possession of Rothiemurchus was a constant
+subject of dispute between the Shaws and the Grants. The Shaws were the
+original owners, but having waxed fat and kicked against the Government
+on more than one occasion, word was sent from Edinburgh to one of the
+Grants, who was Laird of Muckerach, that he should dispossess the Shaws
+of the lands of Rothiemurchus, _gin he could_. Grant was by no means
+"blate" in availing himself of the hint, but the Shaws were tough
+fighters. In a final and decisive contest between the two clans, the
+Grants were victorious and the chief of the Shaws slain. The victorious
+Muckerach, now unequivocal Laird of Rothiemurchus, caused his dead rival
+to be buried deep down within the kirk beneath his own seat. Every
+Sunday _when he went to pray_ he stamped his feet triumphantly upon the
+place under which lay the corpse of his enemy.
+
+Patrick Grant, surnamed Macalpine, cuts a rather picturesque figure in
+clan history. With a body of gaily-dressed retainers he paraded round
+the countryside, dispensing justice and letting the minimum of time
+elapse between the sentence and the execution. He was twice married,
+and his second wife survived him. That forlorn lady had much to endure
+from the first family, and notably from the wife of Macalpine's eldest
+son and heir. The widow took a very dramatic way of publicly showing her
+grievances. Once after the service in the kirk was over, she stepped up,
+with her fan in her hand, to the corner of the kirkyard, and, taking off
+her high-heeled slipper, she tapped with it on the stone laid over her
+husband's grave, crying out through her tears, "_Macalpine! Macalpine!
+rise up for ae half-hour and see me richted!_"
+
+A diverting legend explains the _low-lying situation of Ballindalloch
+Castle_, a beautiful specimen of baronial architecture, standing near
+the junction of the Spey and the Avon. In planning the place, somewhere
+about 1545, the laird fully intended to secure a wide prospect, and to
+that end, chose a commanding site. But his views did not commend
+themselves to the Powers of the Air, and the masons could make no
+progress. Every night, when the workers had retired from building the
+walls, a prodigious gale came roaring from the summit of Ben Rinnes and
+swept stones and mortar into the bed of the Avon. The laird, sorely
+puzzled at this strange phenomenon, lay in watch one night, with the
+result that he was blown off his feet, and landed right up among the
+branches of a holly-tree. Having taken the conceit out of the laird in
+this abrupt way, the Mysterious Power, chuckling in fiendish fashion,
+called out "_Build on the cow-haugh_." Frightened out of his wits, the
+laird was only too glad to comply.
+
+
+THE WISHING WELL.
+
+Round the old Castle of Rothes clings a legend of a more pathetic kind.
+"Fierce wars and faithful loves shall moralise my song," says Spenser,
+and it is with these well-worn but ever-fresh subjects that the story
+deals. The heiress of one of the old lairds of Rothes, being allowed to
+roam at will with her foster-mother, cast an eye of love on the son of
+the laird of Arndilly. As in ballad lore, the love seems to have been
+immediate, reciprocal, and unquenchable. The girl's father, hearing of
+the attachment, summarily forbade it, and commanded his daughter to turn
+her back on young Arndilly, and take a different road in future. But as
+journeys end in lovers meeting, the two young people, by whatever way
+they set out, invariably met at the _Wishing Well_. A sad severance
+came, however, for young Arndilly, like so many mediaeval knights of song
+who had faithful mistresses, must needs go crusading to the Holy Land.
+During his absence, the lady hied daily to the Wishing Well, and many a
+tear she let fall therein as she thought of the lad that was so far
+away. But after many a month, back from Palestine came young Arndilly,
+and went, of course, straight to the old trysting-place, where he found
+his lady-love praying for his safe return. The meeting was rapturous but
+tragically short. A dark shape glided upon the scene, and drove a fatal
+dirk in the young soldier's back. The lady shrieked aloud and swooned
+away. For the rest of her life she was an imbecile: she never left the
+castle, and spent her time crooning a plaintive song and rocking a
+cradle. Her ghost still haunts the place, and those who have ears to
+hear can, at nightfall, make out, above the sough of the wind, the
+mournful notes of a weird lullaby, and mysterious cradle-rockings within
+the ruined walls. Close by the Well, at the spot of the murder, a bush
+sprang up, whereof the leaves resembled crosses; in autumn they turned
+to a bright scarlet colour, as if typical of the blood that had flowed
+there from its victim's wounds. Others will have it that the lady's
+ghost may be seen flitting about, distractedly, in the woods, on a
+particular night of the year--the anniversary, it is supposed, of
+Arndilly's murder.
+
+
+OSSIAN AND MACPHERSON.
+
+The beautiful little town of Kingussie is famous for its association
+with "Ossian" Macpherson, who was born near by. No man, born on Scottish
+earth, except perhaps, Sir Walter Scott, had ever such an influence on
+European literature as this Highland dominie. "His Ossian," as Professor
+Macmillan Brown says, "was translated into almost every European
+language; and its influence is apparent in Goethe's Werther, in
+Schiller's Robbers, and in all the Storm-and-Stress literature of
+Germany, in the productions and speeches of the French Revolutionists,
+in the romantic literary movement that preceded and followed the
+Revolution, and in much of the Italian, Spanish, and Danish poetry of
+the time. It generally affected the prose style of eighteenth century
+romance, and was a direct antidote to Johnsonianism in the imaginative
+literature. In our own century it bent the genius of Scott to the
+Highlands, and moulded the dramas of Byron, and the often vague imagery
+of Shelley; it appears in the style of Kingsley's Hereward, and directly
+or indirectly it is responsible for the pioneering efforts of Walt
+Whitman in prose poetry and for the rapid growth of poetic prose through
+De Quincey, Bulwer Lytton, and Ruskin. During last century it stirred
+Blake to misty prophecies, led writers of romance back into the less
+known periods of the past, and gave the new audience a delight in
+mysterious and almost formless legend and tale and idea."
+
+The extraordinary vogue of Macpherson's Ossianic poems was due to
+literary merit of a high order, and also to the parched and dry state
+into which the poetry of Europe had sunk in the middle of the eighteenth
+century. Boileau and his rules had crushed all sap and life out of
+European verse, and the poet had become either a teacher of rimed ethics
+or a framer of dexterous satire. How refreshing Ossian must have been to
+the men of such a time:
+
+ "The hills were round them, and the breeze
+ Went o'er the sun-lit fields again;
+ Their foreheads felt the wind and rain."
+
+Let the modern reader go through the _Rape of the Lock_, and then take
+up the song of the hunter Shilric from Macpherson's "Carric-thura."
+
+Shilric, not knowing that his love Vinvela is dead, thus communes with
+himself:
+
+ "I sit by the mossy mountain; on the top of the hill of winds.
+ One tree is rustling above me. Dark waves roll over the heath.
+ The lake is troubled below. The deer descend from the hill. No
+ hunter at a distance is seen. It is mid-day; but all is silent.
+ Sad are my thoughts alone. Didst thou but appear, O my love! a
+ wanderer on the heath! thy hair floating on the wind behind
+ thee; thy bosom heaving on the sight; thine eyes full of tears
+ for thy friends, whom the mist of the hill had concealed! Thee I
+ would comfort, my love, and bring thee to thy father's house!"
+
+To him mourning thus, the spirit of his dead love appears:
+
+ "But is it she that there appears, like a beam of light on the
+ heath? bright as the moon in autumn, as the sun in a
+ summer-storm, comest thou, O maid, over rocks, over mountains to
+ me? She speaks: but how weak her voice! like the breeze in the
+ reeds of the lake.
+
+ "'Alone I am, O Shilric! alone in the winter-house. With grief
+ for thee I fell. Shilric, I am pale in the tomb.'
+
+ "She fleets, she sails away; as mist before the wind! and wilt
+ thou not stay, Vinvela? Stay and behold my tears! fair thou
+ appearest, Vinvela! fair thou wast, when alive!
+
+ "By the mossy mountain I will sit; on the top of the hill of
+ winds. When mid-day is silent around, O talk with me, Vinvela!
+ come on the light-winged gale! on the breeze of the desert,
+ come! Let me hear thy voice, as thou passest, when mid-day is
+ silent around.'"
+
+The readers of the eighteenth century did not stay to consider whether
+the foregoing was, or was not, a genuine antique: it suited their taste
+admirably. Rousseau had brought sentimentalism into favour; the "return
+to nature" was a kind of creed with the French philosophers: these
+facts aided greatly in causing the epidemic of Ossianism that overran
+Europe.
+
+I should not like to be condemned to read nothing but Ossian for a year.
+The short staccato sentences, the difficulty of getting hold of anything
+definite amid so many moonbeams, gliding ghosts, whistling reeds, and
+feasts of shells, has a very debilitating effect on the mind. There is
+too much weeping: one is constantly saying with Tennyson, "Tears, idle
+tears, I know not what they mean." Yet, no one can dip into Macpherson
+without being rewarded by some phrase of an impressive or refreshing
+kind, _e.g._:--
+
+ "Thou art with the years that are gone; thou fadest on my soul."
+
+ "Why dost thou build the hall, son of the winged days?"
+
+ "Her steps were like the music of songs; she saw the youth and
+ loved him. He was the stolen sigh of her soul."
+
+ "Why does Ossian sing? Soon shall he lie in the narrow house,
+ and no bard shall raise his fame."
+
+ "When shall it be morn in the grave to bid the slumberer wake?"
+
+ "Mixed with the murmur of waters rose the voice of aged men, who
+ called the forms of night to aid them in the war."
+
+ "Autumn is dark on the mountains; grey mist rests on the hills."
+
+
+AT THE FOOT O' BENNACHIE.
+
+I have on several occasions, during the last year or two, visited that
+part of Aberdeenshire which is immediately under the glorious ridge of
+Bennachie. Like all lovers of ballad lore, I know by heart the poem of
+the little wee man who had such prowess, and who invited the poet to go
+with him to his green bower. After seeing magnificent examples of
+dancing, the poet found himself lying in the mist at the foot of
+Bennachie:--
+
+ "Out went the lichts, on cam' the mist,
+ Leddies nor mannie mair could I see;
+ I turned aboot, and gave a look,
+ I was just at the foot o' Bennachie."
+
+The exquisite little ballad from which I quote is calculated to raise
+expectations of beauty which the picturesque surroundings of Bennachie
+are well able to satisfy. Great tracts of Aberdeenshire are flat,
+treeless, and painful in their monotony; in winter, great gusts sweep
+the cold plains, and make driving or walking a trying ordeal; the
+country is thinly peopled, and the impression of the visitor is that, in
+some districts, railway stations are more numerous than villages. Round
+Bennachie, however, the scenery is most pleasant and picturesque. The
+villages of Oyne and Insch, in which hospitality to strangers is a
+religion, are beautifully placed and well-foliaged all around. The
+region is, indeed, one of romance, and the little brook of Gadie ripples
+on in the radiance and glamour of pathetic song.
+
+
+HARLAW.
+
+Those who consider, like Ruskin, that the stories of the past add no
+inconsiderable item to the beauty of a landscape, as it appears to the
+eye and intelligence of modern observers, will not fail to remember the
+momentous issues decided at no great distance from the foot of
+Bennachie, in 1411. Teutonic and Celtic Scotland came to grips at
+Harlaw, near by:--
+
+ "The Hielandmen, wi' their lang swords,
+ They laid on us fu' sair;
+ And they drave back our merry men
+ Three acres' breadth and mair.
+
+ . . . . . . . . . .
+
+ Gin anybody speer at ye
+ For them we took awa',
+ Ye may tell them plain and very plain,
+ They're sleeping at Harlaw."
+
+Burton, in his _History of Scotland_, declares that the check given to
+Donald of the Isles at Harlaw, was a greater relief to Scotland than
+even Bannockburn was. If the Stuart kings, hard pressed as they were by
+England on the south, had been threatened by a formidable Celtic
+sovereignty on the north, Holyrood might have been in ruins a good many
+centuries earlier. I am not going to shock my Highland friends by saying
+it was a good thing for the country that Donald, with the remnant of his
+plaids and claymores, had to retreat to the misty straths and islands of
+the west. The coalition of Celt and Teuton has taken place in an
+unostentatious way, to the advantage of both races: Macfadyen does not
+now, as in the days of Dunbar, bide "_far norrart in a neuk_;" he has
+come to the Lowlands long ago, and rarely goes North, except on holiday.
+And the language, which to the finical ears of James Fourth's
+poet-laureate, seemed too terrible even for the devil to tolerate, has
+come south, too, and has a chair all to itself in the University of
+Edinburgh. _Time_, says Sophocles, _is a god who performs difficult
+things with ease_.
+
+Mention of Harlaw suggests a comic tale told to the credit of the
+Provost of Inverness. That gentleman, on being threatened with a
+predatory visit from Donald in 1400, took the remarkable plan of sending
+an ample supply of Inverness whisky into the Celtic camp. The men of
+Lewis and Skye tackled the liquid bounty with great glee, and soon were
+in a state of maudlin intoxication. The wily Provost meanwhile collected
+a force and attacked Donald's men, who (as they magnified the attacking
+host to _double its real numbers_) were easily scared and routed. At
+Harlaw, eleven years later, the Provost of Aberdeen, evidently a man who
+lacked the resource of the chief magistrate of Inverness, was killed,
+and 500 men with him.
+
+
+LOCHABER REIVERS.
+
+The predatory habits of the Highlanders gave great trouble to the
+Aberdeenshire farmers _for fully three hundred years after Harlaw_. In
+1689 a dozen wild Lochaber men came right down into the heart of
+Aberdeenshire and lifted six score of black cattle. The fate of the
+marauders is thus described by the author of _Johnny Gibb_:--
+
+"They were pursued by a body of nearly 50 horsemen, well mounted and
+armed, and each carrying bags of meal and other provisions, both for
+their own support, and to offer in ransom for the cattle, if peaceful
+negotiations could be carried through. On through the hills, over
+marshes, rocks, and heather, the spirited horsemen followed, under
+their leader; and guided by a herd-boy whom they encountered, they
+traced the robbers by Loch Ericht side into the heart of their own
+country. At nightfall, they came upon them at Dalunchart, encamped and
+busily engaged roasting a portion of the flesh of one of the cattle they
+had stolen. They offered, after some parley, to give each of the
+freebooters a bag of meal and a pair of shoes in ransom for the cattle.
+The Highlanders treated such an offer for cattle driven so far and with
+so much trouble with contempt; the herd was gathered in, and the fight
+began in deep earnest, the result being that the Lochaber men were all
+shot down, killed or wounded, except three, who escaped unhurt to tell
+the tale; and the cattle were, of course, recovered."
+
+
+REAY AND TWICKENHAM.
+
+Perhaps the least attractive of the Scotch counties, in respect of
+scenery, is Caithness. The North-going train enters it a little after
+Helmsdale, and from thence to Thurso the journey is of a most dreary and
+depressing character. He who wishes to see the romantic part of the
+county should quit the train at Helmsdale, and go right to John o'
+Groats by the shore road: thereafter he should proceed along the line of
+the Pentland Firth to the dainty town of Thurso and to the village of
+Reay, the citadel of the Mackays. The district round Reay is a
+delightful one, and has great historical interest.
+
+Some good examples of the power assumed of old by the country ministers
+are furnished by a perusal of the life of an eighteenth century
+minister, the Rev. Alexander Pope, who was stationed for many years in
+Reay. He was a huge giant of a man, and invariably carried about with
+him a nail-studded cudgel that was a terror to sinners. A lout of a
+fellow in his parish refused to come to church and get rebuked for an
+infringement of the usual commandment. Mr. Pope sent three elders with
+ropes to pinion the adulterer, hale him to church, and fasten him to a
+conspicuous pew right under the pulpit. The minister cannonaded the
+culprit to his heart's content, beginning thus: "_Shame, shame, son of a
+beggar, where art thou now?_"
+
+Another parishioner who neglected family worship on the ground that he
+could not make up a prayer, was severely taken to task by Mr. Pope, who
+gave the man a year within which to manufacture one. At the end of the
+twelvemonth, Mr. Pope called and requested to hear the prayer. The man
+glibly rattled off a long succession of phrases that did not please the
+minister at all. "That won't do," he said, "you must prepare over
+again." "And is all my long labour to go for nothing," said the man,
+"all my year's toil? No, no: rather than lose my labour, I'll _break the
+prayer up and make two graces of it_." For the rest of his life, as the
+story runs, he did actually employ the two parts of his mutilated prayer
+as Grace before and Grace after meat respectively. Could there be a
+finer example of natural thrift in the spiritual world?
+
+An Inverness journalist, Mr. Carruthers, wrote a life of the great poet,
+Alexander Pope, in which occurs the following curious note respecting
+the minister of Reay, just mentioned: "The northern Alexander Pope
+entertained a profound admiration for his illustrious namesake of
+England; and it is a curious and well-ascertained fact that the simple
+enthusiastic clergyman, in the summer of 1732, rode on his pony all the
+way from Caithness to Twickenham, in order to pay the poet a visit. The
+latter felt his dignity a little touched by the want of the necessary
+pomp and circumstance with which the minister presumed to approach his
+domicile; but after the ice of ceremony had in some degree been broken,
+and their intellects had come in contact, the poet became interested,
+and a friendly feeling was established between them. Several interviews
+took place, and the poet presented his good friend and namesake, the
+minister of Reay, with a copy of the subscription edition of the
+'Odyssey' in five volumes quarto."
+
+A grandson of the Reay minister, a Mr. James Campbell of Edinburgh, gave
+a description to Mr. Carruthers of a snuff-box which the poet had
+presented to the Rev. Mr. Pope. A series of letters to the _Northern
+Ensign_, in April, 1883, brought out the information that a Wick
+gentleman, Mr. Duncan, had in his possession two volumes of de Vertot's
+_History of the Roman Republic_, bearing an inscription to the effect
+that they had been presented by the poet of Twickenham to his northern
+namesake.
+
+It has been suggested that the poet and the minister were distant
+blood-relations. Mr. Campbell, alluded to above, said that "the two
+Popes claimed kin." In any case, the friendship of the two men, one
+living on the shores of the wild Pentland Firth, in sight of the
+Orkneys, and the other not far "from streaming London's central roar,"
+is pleasant to think of. In 1737, Pope wrote the lines--
+
+ "Loud as the wolves on Orca's stormy steep
+ Howl to the roarings of the northern deep,"
+
+adding, in a note, that he refers to "the farthest northern promontory
+of Scotland, opposite to the Orcades." Perhaps his mind reverted to the
+burly incumbent of Reay as he penned the note.
+
+
+ROB DONN.
+
+The little township of Reay is less famous for the Rev. Mr. Pope's
+incumbency than for the fact of Rob Donn, the satirical Gaelic bard,
+being a native of the district. The author of the _Dunciad_ is the
+greatest satirist in British Literature; Rob Donn is supreme among
+Gaelic bards for the sharpness of his tongue and his clever way of
+showing up his contemporaries to ridicule. He was in the habit of giving
+praise to people in order to make his satire more biting. Praise on his
+tongue was compared to oil on the edge of a razor: the cut was all the
+deeper. Rob, although a master of language, was unable to read or write,
+so that though he "lisped in numbers"--he began to compose at the age of
+three--he could not say, like Pope:
+
+ "Why did I _write_? What sin to me unknown
+ _Dipt me in ink_, my parents' or my own?"
+
+Blackie speaks thus of him: "Rob Donn, according to all accounts, though
+outwardly of such fair respectability that he attained an honour,
+unknown to Robert Burns, of acting as an elder of the kirk, was not
+always so chaste in his words as he might seem to be in his deeds; he
+took his plash as a poet, and not always in the clearest waters;
+besides, he had a terrible lash at his command, which he could wield
+with an effect at times that paid little respect to the bounds set in
+such matters by Christian charity, or even by social politeness. The
+consequence has been that much of the wit and humour of his pieces,
+however telling for its immediate purpose, has lost half of its interest
+by the disappearance of the persons to whom it referred. These personal
+allusions also import an additional difficulty into the language which
+he uses, and cause his productions, however belauded, to be less known
+amongst Highlanders generally than those of Duncan Ban and Dugald
+Buchanan. Severe moralists also very properly object to the undue
+license and occasional coarseness of his verses."[33]
+
+ [33] Rob was at one time in the army, for every Mackay has the
+ fighting instinct in him. (Reay is one of the few townships in
+ the North that possess a drill-hall and a military instructor. It
+ is impossible adequately to describe the consternation in the
+ Mackay country at the time of our South African reverses.
+ Everyone was in a fury and it was felt there was urgent need for
+ the Mackays to straighten out matters at the seat of war. It was
+ at this time that the drill-hall was built in Reay. Many of the
+ young men went to the front as volunteers, and if the war had
+ lasted much longer, there would have been few Mackays left in
+ Sutherlandshire.)
+
+
+REV. MR. MILL OF DUNROSSNESS.
+
+Before concluding the present chapter, I should like to refer briefly to
+a valuable and amusing book (brought under my notice in Shetland) that
+furnishes details of the life of Mr. Mill, minister of Dunrossness from
+1742 till 1805. Mr. Mill's special talent was his unrivalled power of
+exorcism: he was a strenuous foe to the devil in every shape and form,
+and his life was one long battle with the Prince of Darkness. The latter
+was constantly bringing into play all manner of gins, traps, and wiles
+to confound the uncompromising clergyman; but, on a calm review of the
+evidence, one cannot but admit that the devil was far inferior in
+intelligence to his opponent.
+
+On one occasion, Satan had the effrontery to come into Dunrossness
+Church and take his seat at the Communion Table. Mr. Mill at once
+recognised his life-long adversary, and began to speak in all the deep
+languages, and, last of all, in Gaelic, and that beat him altogether.
+Satan went off like a flock of "doos" over the heads of the people, many
+of whom swooned. "As a permanent reminder of the hostility cherished
+against him by the Arch-Enemy, it was said that Mr. Mill always had the
+wind in his face. One day he came up to officiate at Sandwick, in the
+teeth, as usual, of a pretty stiff breeze. An ordinary person would
+naturally have expected the wind to be on his back on the return
+journey. But during the service the wind veered round. Mr. Mill's only
+comment, as he started for home, was, 'It's all he can do.' In one
+respect, Mr. Mill benefited by the penalty of always having the wind in
+his face, for on his very numerous sea-journeys he could always secure
+a favourable breeze _by sitting with his back to the head of the boat_."
+
+The following additional tale from Mr. Mill's biography only brings into
+more striking relief the resource of the minister in all emergencies.
+"One day a very respectable gentleman entered the house of a tailor in
+Channerwick, and ordered a suit of clothes to be made out of cloth which
+he brought with him. The tailor's delight at having such a fine
+gentleman for a customer was, however, turned into perplexity and fear
+as he opened up the cloth and found that the colour kept constantly
+changing. He at once sent for the minister and laid the matter before
+him. He was advised to spread a sheet on the floor and cut the cloth
+upon it, so that none of the clippings should be scattered about the
+room, and the minister said that he would be present to meet the
+stranger when the latter called to get the clothes. The day came, and
+when the stranger entered the house, Mr. Mill stepped forward to meet
+him. A terrible controversy ensued, and the respectable-looking
+gentleman was swept out of the house in a cloud of blue, sulphurous
+flame. It is not recorded if he took the new suit with him. A clue to
+his identification was furnished by his accidentally striking his foot
+against the door-step as he departed. The result of the collision was
+that a mark as of a cloven hoof was imprinted on the stone."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+METRICAL AND SUPPLEMENTARY.
+
+ I. Arrival of the Mail-train at a Highland Station.
+ II. Defoe, the Father of Journalism.
+ III. A Village Toper.
+ IV. A Reverend Hellenist.
+ V. Antigone.
+ VI. Shadows of the Manse.
+ VII. "My Heart's in the Highlands."
+ VIII. Saddell, Kintyre.
+ IX. Springtime in Perthshire.
+ X. Dr. George Macdonald's Creed.
+ XI. Abbotsford.
+ XII. Carlyle.
+ XIII. Shelley.
+ XIV. Picture in an Inn.
+ XV. Rain-storm at Loch Awe.
+ XVI. Kinlochewe.
+ XVII. General Wade.
+ XVIII. Sound of Raasay in December.
+ XIX. Les Neiges d' Antan.
+ XX. The Islands of the Ness.
+ XXI. American Tourist Loquitur.
+ XXII. The Miners.
+ XXIII. In a Country Graveyard.
+ XXIV. No Place like Home.
+
+
+I.
+
+ARRIVAL OF THE MAIL-TRAIN AT A HIGHLAND STATION.
+
+ "_Hark! 'tis the twanging horn._" So Cowper sang
+ Of the slow post-boy by the flooded Ouse;
+ In different fashion now the great world's news
+ Goes to each nook of Britain. The harangue
+ Of politician; great events that hang
+ In Fortune's hand, with magic speed diffuse
+ From London's centre to the furthest Lews,
+ Their tingling rumour and resounding clang.
+ Daily along yon track of curving steels
+ Comes to this Highland clachan, Watt's machine,
+ Rolling in triumph on its iron wheels,
+ And bringing letter, journal, magazine,
+ To kilted Celts with collies at their heels
+ And frivolous tourists from the putting-green.
+
+
+II.
+
+DEFOE[34]
+
+(FATHER OF JOURNALISM).
+
+ Father of journalists! illustrious liar!
+ Untiring wielder of the nimblest quill
+ That ever shed the stanchless inky rill
+ Upon the virgin whiteness of the quire.
+ What full and varied stores of gold and mire,
+ Magnificence and squalor, good and ill,
+ Prayers, curses, loyalty and treason fill
+ Thy books! But that which children most admire
+ Of all thy hundred volumes, is the one
+ Fated for ever more to charm mankind
+ From the far Orient to the Setting Sun.
+ Prompt-witted Daniel! thou has left behind
+ Upon the Sands of Time, distinctly traced,
+ One footmark that can never be effaced.
+
+ [34] Let me here pay a tribute to the marked excellence and
+ literary skill of the newspapers of provincial Scotland. These
+ are very numerous--even Ailsa Craig has a sheet of its own, _The
+ Ailsa Craig Banner_.
+
+
+III.
+
+A VILLAGE TOPER.
+
+ John loved strong waters and ne'er stirred his feet
+ Abroad in leafy spring or summer's heat,
+ Autumnal breeze or winter's rimy chill,
+ Unsolaced by the nectar of the still.
+ Spirits came always kindly to his lips,
+ And time he measured not by hours but "nips."
+ Teetotalers to him were curse and gall,
+ Grim Banquos at the world's wide festival,
+ Men, whom a weird and fate-ordained bale,
+ Had smitten with the hate of cakes and ale,
+ A soda-water, syphon-squirting crew,
+ Guilty of treason to the revenue:
+ Their lurid language and their unctuous warnings,
+ Their moral-pointings and their tale-adornings,
+ And, worst of all, their shameful _waste of ink_
+ In signing pledges to abstain from drink,
+ Proved them a witless and a churlish band,
+ Unfit to dwell in any Christian land.
+
+
+IV.
+
+A REVEREND HELLENIST.
+
+ In that old ivied manse exists
+ A scholar, wrinkled, bent, and gray,
+ His student lamp gleams through the mists
+ And twinkles on till break of day.
+
+ This sage is wedded to his books,
+ And Sultan-like his harem's full,
+ He dotes upon them in their nooks
+ With love and joy that never cool.
+
+ No wonder that his back is bent,
+ Or that his eye has mystic glows,
+ He pores on pages redolent
+ Of love and love's undying rose.
+
+ No earthly maiden, fresh and sweet,
+ Could please his fancy half so well
+ As a Greek nymph with twinkling feet
+ Skipping in some Arcadian dell.
+
+
+V.
+
+ANTIGONE
+
+(READ IN A HIGHLAND MANSE).
+
+ A form of beauty blent with hardihood,
+ Majestic as Olympus wreathed in snows,
+ What modern pages of romance disclose
+ A radiant maiden of such dauntless mood!
+ Yet, when the tyrant strives with outrage rude
+ The unyielding maid in darkness to enclose,
+ Then, only then, her burning heart outflows
+ In anguished cries of love, but unsubdued
+ By baser throbbings. Ah! that nuptial hymn
+ Unsung! that bond in death! All men agree
+ To crown thee in that chamber dark and dim
+ With love's immortal wreath, Antigone.
+ Since love and duty in thy death combine,
+ An immortality of praise is thine.
+
+
+VI.
+
+SHADOWS OF THE MANSE.
+
+I.
+
+ Lo! we have him of shaven face
+ And curls of long and lustrous hair,
+ Who breathes an atmosphere of grace
+ And has a wondrous gift in prayer.
+ You'd ne'er suspect to see him there,
+ Shaking his head in solemn guise,
+ _The college life of deil-may-care
+ Diversion that behind him lies_.
+
+
+II.
+
+ And then the little starveling pope
+ Who strives to make his sermons new
+ By stringing florid scraps of hope
+ And faith and love to dazzle you:
+ From Stopford Brooke a phrase or two,
+ A gleaming line from Arnold's page,
+ Whole screeds of Browning and a few
+ Stolen thunders from the Chelsea sage.
+
+
+III.
+
+ Perhaps the most diverting wight
+ Is he who sees in Holy Writ
+ Old Jewish fables gross and trite
+ To semblance of a system knit--
+ Fables for modern taste unfit,
+ Until _he_ cleans the dross away
+ And shows the tiny little bit
+ Of gold that gleams amid the clay.
+
+
+IV.
+
+ But worst of all is he who jests,
+ Or tries to jest, in pulpit gown,
+ Lord, save us from such holy pests
+ Who so unseemly act the clown
+ And pull the tabernacle down
+ To something worse than pantomime:
+ On all such zanies let us frown
+ And scourge them both in prose and rhyme.
+
+
+VII.
+
+"MY HEART'S IN THE HIGHLANDS."
+
+ Puzzling over musty tomes,
+ What a life to lead,
+ While each gay companion roams
+ Where his fancies lead!
+
+ One beside a shady pool
+ Sweeps the wave for hours,
+ Comes home with his basket full,
+ When the evening lowers.
+
+ Some more energetic wights
+ Leave the level land,
+ Mountaineer on dizzy heights,
+ Alpenstock in hand.
+
+ Others boat in sunny bays
+ Where bright sands are seen
+ Glimmering amid a maze
+ Of tangled flowers marine.
+
+ Luck to all is what I wish
+ With a meed of fun,
+ I'll row, mountaineer, and fish,
+ When _your_ sports are done.
+
+
+VIII.
+
+SADDELL
+
+(KINTYRE).
+
+ Fresh gusts of wind ripple the ocean's face,
+ And the green slopes, after the night's soft rain,
+ Glitter beneath the blue.
+
+ Most glorious are the sea-descending glens,
+ Vivid with countless ferns, and with the blaze
+ Of sun-enamoured broom.
+
+ The dark, tip-tilted rocks of cruel mood,
+ Show a stern beauty through the creamy foam
+ That flecks their rugged flanks.
+
+ See, from this hill-top, how the blazing Sound
+ Is marked by moving shadows of the clouds
+ That skim aloft in air.
+
+ Through the clear radiance of the freshened morn,
+ The eye can see the far farm-windows gleam
+ Up on the Arran hills.
+
+
+IX.
+
+SPRINGTIME IN PERTHSHIRE.
+
+ Returning Springtime fills the woods with song--
+ The ring-dove, sick for love, is cooing sweet;
+ The lark, scorning the daisies, soars to greet
+ The sun, while the brown swarms of bees among
+ The flowery meadows skim in haste along.
+ Once more the young year glories in the feat
+ Of driving winter off with vernal heat
+ And tepid sap luxuriantly strong.
+ Winter has drawn aloof his snowy powers
+ To the high peaks that domineer the plain,
+ And, like a vanquished leader, grimly lowers,
+ From a safe distance, on the victor's reign.
+ E'er many months have passed, his arrowy showers
+ And gusty cohorts will descend again.
+
+
+X.
+
+DR. GEORGE MACDONALD'S CREED[35]
+
+(WRITTEN AT CULLEN).
+
+ God will not suffer that a single one
+ Of His own creatures, in His image made,
+ Should die, and in irrevocable shade
+ Lie evermore--neglected and undone.
+ It is not thus a father treats his son,
+ And those whose folly credits it, degrade
+ God's love and fatherhood, that never fade,
+ By lies as base as devils ever spun.
+ Man's love is but a pale reflex of God's,
+ And God _is_ love, and never will condemn
+ Beyond remission--though He school with rods--
+ His children, but will one day comfort them.
+ Dives will have his drink at last, and stand
+ Among the faithful ones at God's right hand.
+
+ [35] Reprinted (by kind permission) from the _Scotsman_.
+
+
+XI.
+
+ABBOTSFORD.
+
+ "Dryden and Scott, men of a giant seed!"
+ So said I to myself, gazing upon
+ The pictured countenance of Glorious John,
+ In Abbotsford, hard by the storied Tweed.
+ These twain were brothers, kin in mind and deed:
+ Old England never had a brawnier son
+ Than Dryden; and in fervid Scotland none
+ Better than Scott exemplified the breed.
+ After five centuries of blood and hate,
+ Britain is one leal land from north to south,
+ From gusty Thurso to St. Michael's Mount,
+ I therefore, Scot and Briton, am elate
+ To think that from Sir Walter's golden mouth
+ Dryden's career received the fit account.
+
+
+XII.
+
+CARLYLE
+
+(AT ECCLEFECHAN).
+
+ The ploughman in the loamy furrow sings,
+ The sailor whistles as he reefs the sail,
+ Blithe is the smith as the blows fall like hail
+ From his huge hammer, and the stithy rings.
+ Work is the sole and sovereign balm that brings
+ Peace to the torpid soul when doubts assail,
+ And sickening pleasures are of no avail
+ To lull the torture of affliction's stings.
+ Give me the work I love, the work I feel
+ God in His Heaven has willed that I should do,
+ And you may offer the whole commonweal,
+ Lands, mansions, jewels, gold, and temples too,
+ Vainly to me. By strenuous work alone
+ Man mounts on Jacob's ladder to God's throne.
+
+
+XIII.
+
+SHELLEY.[36]
+
+ 'Twas but a passing visit that he paid
+ To the gross air of earth, this mystic seer,
+ The tyrannies of sense were too severe
+ For one of clay more fine than Adam's made.
+ The inhumanity of man, the trade
+ Of coining gold from the serf's groan and tear,
+ The galling fetters of religious fear,
+ And vain ecclesiastic masquerade
+ Tortured his gentle soul, and made his life
+ One bitter struggle with the powers that be:
+ Yet not in vain he lived; his manful strife
+ With all the deadening despotisms we see
+ Will ring along the centuries, until
+ Good has her final triumph over ill.
+
+ [36] Suggested by a copy of his poems in a West Highland
+ bookcase.
+
+
+XIV.
+
+PICTURE IN AN INN.
+
+ A wood of pines through which the setting sun
+ Pours from the western sky a parting flame,
+ Beside the shore, a church called by the name
+ Of some old saint whose pious race was run
+ Long ere schismatic Luther had begun
+ To work the Pope and his disciples shame.
+ In earnest-seeming talk, a knight and dame
+ Sit in a painted galley, rowed by one
+ Whose back is to the setting orb of day.
+ The soldier and his mate, their faces lit
+ With all love's animation and the ray
+ Of the down-lapsing globe of crimson, sit
+ Together in the gilded vessel's prow,
+ And there will sit for evermore, as now.
+
+
+XV.
+
+RAIN-STORM AT LOCH AWE.
+
+ The topmost mountain-snows are melting fast,
+ See, how the swollen waters hurry down
+ In perpendicular runnels from the crown
+ Of every wreathed hill. The train has past
+ Beside a dark stream into which are cast
+ A hundred huddling rills whose foam is brown
+ With pilfered soil. No dweller in a town
+ Ever beheld such manifold and vast
+ Torrents of roaring water. Each small isle
+ Spaced on the loch, glooms through the hanging haze
+ Like a dream-picture, and for many a mile
+ Beneath those clouds that lean upon the braes
+ Encompassing Loch Awe, the watery plain
+ Is pricked with million lances of the rain.
+
+
+XVI.
+
+KINLOCHEWE.
+
+ The mist, retreating, gems the leaves with dew,
+ Soft blows the breeze along the fragrant meads,
+ A little brawling burn runs through the reeds
+ And ripples away under the cloudless blue.
+ I never saw the world so fair to view,
+ For Spring has riven old Winter's funeral weeds
+ And given new sap and vigour to the seeds
+ That lay inanimate the cold months through.
+ Old man! with jaded limbs and wrinkled brow,
+ That walkest feebly in this lenient sun
+ Like a day-dream, thy life is winter now.
+ But life and death in ceaseless cycles run,
+ And tireless Time and Heaven have in store
+ For thee a myriad resurrections more.
+
+
+XVII.
+
+GENERAL WADE.
+
+ Houses are fewer here than milestones are:
+ We stand a thousand feet aloft in air
+ Upon a bouldered hillside stern and bare,
+ Down which the roadway serpentines afar.
+ There are no clouds in the wide blue to mar
+ The passage of the sun's imperial glare
+ Over a dreary-stretching landscape, where
+ Rough winds hold riot all the calendar.
+ Who that has footed o'er these firm-knit paths
+ But lauds the men whose strenuous axe and spade
+ Drove roads through the wild glens and hilly straths
+ Under the generalship of tireless Wade!
+ On the safe tracks behind them, commerce came
+ The unruly spirit of the Celt to tame.
+
+
+XVIII.
+
+THE SOUND OF RAASAY IN DECEMBER.
+
+ A snowy gust is whirling down the strait,
+ Raasay is gleaming ghostly to the sight,
+ And, robed in lawn, from sea to topmost height
+ Skye and her lordly mountains stand in state.
+ Ever from heaven falls the silent weight
+ Of wavering flakes that dim the stars of night.
+ Our gallant little boat with all the might
+ Of the wild-hissing surges holds debate,
+ Plunging and struggling, till at last we see
+ A spacious haven, sudden and serene
+ And, high aloft, the twinkle of Portree.
+ At once the winds are hushed, the moon is seen
+ To free her face from cloudy drift, and fill
+ With silver light the clefts of Essie Hill.
+
+
+XIX.
+
+LES NEIGES D'ANTAN.
+
+I.
+
+ Where is Macfee, that valiant preacher,
+ Gifted with voice, so harsh and loud,
+ Aye, louder and harsher than any screecher
+ Of birds that sail on the black storm-cloud?
+ And his beadle John, with back so bowed,
+ Where is _he_ that had never a peer?
+ Is he too rolled in his mortal shroud?
+ But where are the snows of yester-year?
+
+II.
+
+ Donald the Gay, that steered his steamer
+ Many a year through the Sound of Mull,
+ He that was never a Celtic dreamer,
+ But a captain of captains masterful:
+ O Death, thou madest the world more dull
+ When you nailed _him_ down in his narrow bier,
+ And sent his ghost into Charon's hull;
+ But where are the snows of yester-year?
+
+III.
+
+ Duncan, the bard of rocky Staffin,
+ Away in the north of rainy Skye:
+ Has _he_ given over his rimes and daffin',
+ In the mould of the bleak kirkyard to lie?
+ His cot was built where the sea-gulls fly,
+ And his misty isle to his soul was dear;
+ Ere his song is finished, the bard must die;
+ But where are the snows of yester-year?
+
+IV.
+
+ And Dougal, who carried King Edward's mails
+ Every day o'er the moor and heather,
+ Scorning the chill of the winter gales,
+ And the ten-mile walk in the sultry weather:
+ Has _he_ too come to the end of his tether
+ And gone to the ghosts with all his gear,
+ His whistle, his satchel and strap of leather?
+ But where are the snows of yester-year?
+
+V.
+
+ Prince, they have gone from the regions that knew them,
+ Gone at the summons that none can resist,
+ Praise and every honour be to them,
+ They did their best and they will be missed.
+ We, too, shall soon be erased from the list
+ Of workers below in this mortal sphere,
+ And be no more to those that exist
+ Than the vanished snows of yester-year.
+
+
+XX.
+
+THE ISLANDS OF THE NESS.
+
+ A fairyland of trees and leafy bowers
+ Where one may sit and dream the hours away,
+ Or 'mid the devious walks and alleys stray,
+ While perfume rises from a world of flowers,
+ The girdling river, swollen with upland showers,
+ Sends rippling round to every creek and bay
+ The vagrant branches of his water-way;
+ Then gathering up his current's parted powers,
+ Swiftly-majestic in a broadening bed,
+ He glistens on by many a chiming spire,
+ And past the castle's pennoned turrets red,
+ Till he attain the goal of his desire,
+ And into the salt sea exulting throws
+ His subsidy of rains and melted snows.
+
+
+XXI.
+
+AMERICAN TOURIST LOQUITUR
+
+(AT BERRIEDALE, CAITHNESS).
+
+ If I had wealth like Vanderbilt
+ Or some such millionaire,
+ I'd live in Scotland, don a kilt,
+ And _pay to prove_ my forbears spilt
+ Their blood in forays there.
+
+ I'd buy a picturesque estate
+ Beside the ocean's flow,
+ With knolls of heather at my gate,
+ And pine-clad hills to dominate,
+ The ferny dells below.
+
+ I'd be a father to the folk
+ That laboured on the soil,
+ With old and young I'd crack my joke,
+ Drink with them in their thirst, and smoke
+ The pipe that lightens toil.
+
+ For hens I'd have a special run,
+ For ducks a special pool,
+ My calves should frolic in the sun,
+ My sheep should be surpassed by none
+ Whose backs are clothed with wool.
+
+ Although I'm not a Walton quite,
+ Betweenwhiles I should try
+ To lure the finny tribe to bite
+ (At the right time, in the right light,)
+ My simulated fly.
+
+ When winter heaped his rattling hail
+ High on the window sill,
+ With pipe and wassail, rime and tale,
+ I'd never miss the nightingale
+ Or cuckoo on the hill.
+
+ Nay, musing by the ingle-lowe
+ With summer in my brain,
+ I'd cloth with leaves the frozen bough
+ And all the ice-bound brooks endow
+ With tinkling life again.[37]
+
+ [37] Berriedale, which moved the American to commemorative song,
+ is on the Caithness shore, and there the Duke of Portland has
+ one of his numerous residences. The Duke's seat is high up on
+ the hills and behind it is a mountain of grim aspect which
+ serves for a deer-forest. At Berriedale, the road traversed by
+ the coach is simply appalling: boards marked _Dangerous_
+ forewarn all wheel-men that risks cannot be taken with impunity.
+ An honest descent can be easily coped with, but here the road to
+ the glen is not merely steep, it is as lacking in
+ straightforwardness as the links of Forth. Once down at the
+ level of the village, the breeze no longer blows fresh and
+ chilly, but subsides into a quiet air, grateful with the odour
+ of flowers. Passengers are requested to walk up the
+ corresponding hill to a level equal to the height of the road
+ before the interruption of the terrible Berriedale chasm. When
+ the ascent is reached, one has a view of unsurpassed splendour.
+ The wooded Wye, which Wordsworth sang so rapturously and which
+ he saw with his mind's eye in the dinsome town, has no landscape
+ to compare in grandeur and beauty with the country round
+ Berriedale, viewed from this eminence. Hills of richest green,
+ diversified with purple heather; a back-ground of wild bog and
+ mountain; blue sea; and great banks of cloud shepherded over the
+ heights by the mighty winds.
+
+
+XXII.
+
+THE MINERS.
+
+ The afternoon is cool and calm,
+ Near by flashes the mighty sea,
+ Inland rise green, dewy hills,
+ Crowned with eye-bewitching trees.
+
+ Suddenly the eye is amazed and terrified,
+ A hideous procession sordid and grimy
+ Of men and boys, slaves of the coal-pit,
+ Is seen on the road, shaming the daylight.
+
+ All the day long they work in the darkness,
+ Far from the songs of the birds and the sunshine,
+ Now they return to their sordid villages,
+ Ill-smelling rows of comfortless cottages.
+
+ The rich and dainty ladies of fashion
+ Stand aloof from these swart coal-hewers,
+ Are ready to swoon as the air is poisoned
+ With odours of subterranean foulness.
+
+ Coarse of look, and of speech far coarser!
+ Laughter loud with no merriment in it!
+ No more soul than the beasts that perish!
+ These are the men despised for their toiling.
+
+
+XXIII.
+
+IN A COUNTRY GRAVEYARD.[38]
+
+ Man dreads the tomb, but dreads oblivion more;
+ He fears, when death has loosed the load of years,
+ His name shall cease to sound in mortal ears,
+ And, in the dusty darkness, all be o'er.
+ Some o'er the scrolls of ample science pore,
+ Tome after tome the nimble authors write,
+ And gain a meed of glory: soon the night
+ Comes: the author with his laurel disappears,
+ The painting fades, the marble busts decay,
+ The kingly structures fall in ruin down,
+ Devouring Time consumes the artist's prize,
+ The centuries like lightning pass away,
+ Or hurrying billows: emperor and clown
+ Sink with the myriads in impartial clay.
+
+ [38] Suggested by a French poem of Monsieur Desessarts, entitled
+ _Se Survivre_.
+
+
+XXIV.
+
+NO PLACE LIKE HOME.
+
+ Where'er these wandering footsteps lead me to,
+ Peak-dominated glen, hill where the sheep
+ Graze in the sun, mountains that ever keep
+ A solemn guard o'er lakes profound and blue,
+ Or undulating tracts of treeless view;
+ No matter if the rain and whirlwind sweep
+ The landscape, or the gladdening sunshine peep
+ Through muffled vapours that the winds undo;
+ Let it be night speckled with myriad fires,
+ Clear dawn, hot noon, or cool of dying day;
+ Be it in cities with their chiming spires,
+ Or country fields with fragrant ricks of hay;
+ Ever the voices of my hearth I hear,
+ And muse on those to me for ever dear.
+
+
+
+
+INDEX
+
+(Chiefly of Proper Names).
+
+
+Aberdeen, 217
+
+Acharacle, 21, 66
+
+Achnasheen, 11
+
+Ainsworth, Mr., 69
+
+Ajax, 89
+
+Aliens, 53
+
+Alness, 75
+
+Altnacealgach, 38
+
+Anacreon, 181
+
+Anglers, 36
+
+Anecdotes of Commercials, 255-277
+
+Appin, 311
+
+Ardeonaig, 78
+
+Ardersier, 42
+
+Argyll, Duke of, 25
+
+Arnisdale, 190
+
+Arnold, 130
+
+Arpafeelie, 158
+
+Asquith, Mr., 15
+
+Auldearn, 75
+
+Avebury, Lord, 198
+
+
+Bagpipes, 66
+
+Bain, Professor, 55
+
+Ballads, 99
+
+Banff theorist, 107
+
+Barrie, Mr., 66
+
+Battle of Brunanburh, 131
+
+Beauly, 75
+
+Ben Eay, 22
+
+Ben-na-Ceallich, 28
+
+Bennachie, 329
+
+Ben Screel, 191
+
+Ben Slioch, 22
+
+Beowulf, 131, 246
+
+Beveridge, Dr., 301
+
+Biggar, 98
+
+Biblia abiblia, 109
+
+Blackie, Professor, 19, 56
+
+Books, second-hand, 112
+
+Borders, 96, 99
+
+Boswell, 306, 313
+
+Brahan Seer, 291
+
+Bressay, 221, 229, 230, 233
+
+Broadford, 28, 55
+
+Browning, 306
+
+Buchanan, 61
+
+Bullers of Buchan, 220
+
+Burgess, Mr., 227
+
+Burke, 68
+
+Burns, 82, 144, 308
+
+Burton, 209
+
+
+Caithness father, a, 254
+
+Captains, 24
+
+Catholics, 153-155
+
+Chairmen, 85
+
+Chartists, 54
+
+Coll, 26, 69
+
+Columbus, 88
+
+Commercials (Chap. VI.), 255-277
+
+Competing School-subjects, 215
+
+Congested Districts Board, 34
+
+Connaught, H.R.H. Duke of, 42
+
+Connington, 119
+
+Corelli, Miss Marie, 44
+
+Cowper, 118
+
+Craignish, 168-9
+
+Crofters' cottages, 29-30
+
+Cromarty, 12
+
+Cullen, 47
+
+Cunningsburgh, 239
+
+
+Dancing, 21
+
+Dandie Dinmont, 99
+
+Defoe, 112
+
+Depopulation, 71, 189
+
+Dingwall, 44
+
+Dixon, Mr., 76, 278
+
+Doctors, 35
+
+Dodger, an artful, 173
+
+Dominies, insular, 180-1
+
+Dowden, Professor, 124
+
+Drimnin, 167
+
+Dryden, 118
+
+Dunbar, 218
+
+Dungeon lecture, a, 92
+
+Dunvegan, 28, 61, 292
+
+Durness, 11
+
+
+Educational (Chap. IV.), 180-216
+
+Education Department, 16, 141, 185
+
+Eigg, 26
+
+Emigration, 73-4
+
+Episcopalians, 156-8
+
+Essayists, 106
+
+Established Church, 145
+
+Ethical teaching, 141-3
+
+
+Fairies, 248, 285
+
+Fair Isle, 220, 250
+
+Faith Mission, 25
+
+Feeding the Hungry, 186, 194
+
+_Fernaig MS._, 197
+
+Fishing season, 253
+
+Fishwives, 249
+
+Fladibister, 239
+
+Fort George, 42
+
+Foulah, 250
+
+French Literature, 126
+
+Frere, Miss, 39, 40
+
+
+Gairloch, 278
+
+Gaelic, 17, 86
+
+Geologist, an ordained, 170
+
+Germany, made in, 218
+
+Gibbon, 300
+
+Gigha, 175
+
+Gipsies, 191
+
+Glasgow Fair, 96
+
+_Glasgow Herald_, quoted, 20, note
+
+Glenelg, 191
+
+Golspie, 192
+
+Grange, 299
+
+Grantown, 13
+
+Greatness, real, 81
+
+Greek, 124
+
+
+Haaf-words, 246
+
+Halsbury, Lord, 235
+
+Harlaw, 330
+
+Harris, 39
+
+Hector, Red, 320
+
+Hermits, 223
+
+Hobbes, 106
+
+Holyoake, Mr., 60
+
+Homer, 62
+
+Horace, 12, 115
+
+Hotels, 36
+
+Howlers, 209-214
+
+
+Inspectors, 252
+
+Inveraray, 307
+
+Inverness, 48, 58
+
+Iona, 309
+
+Islay, 79
+
+Isle Ornsay, 191
+
+
+Jakobsen, Dr., 245
+
+Jamieson, Dr., 103
+
+Johnson, 29, 43, 294, 306
+
+Josephus, 111
+
+Jura, 195
+
+
+Killin, 78
+
+Kilmartin, 76
+
+Kiltarlity, 75
+
+Kingussie, 326
+
+Kinlochewe, 22
+
+
+Lanark, 97
+
+Lang, Mr. Andrew, 17, 37
+
+Latin, 204
+
+Lerwick, 221-2
+
+Letter-boats, 299
+
+Lewis, 32, 33
+
+Libraries in schools, 16
+
+Liddesdale, 99
+
+Literature, 83
+
+Lochaber, 332
+
+Lochaline, 168
+
+Lochbuie, 304
+
+Loch Broom, 286
+
+Loch Eck, 79
+
+Loch Fyne, 317
+
+Loch Hourn, 190
+
+Lochmaddy, 36, 40
+
+Loch Maree, 283
+
+Loch Ranza, 196
+
+Loubet, M., 118
+
+
+Mallaig, 32
+
+Mary, the maid of the inn, 258
+
+Martin, Sir Theodore, 119
+
+_Men of Skye_, 150
+
+Military, 42
+
+Mill, Rev. Mr., 338-9
+
+Miller, an ordained, 172
+
+Milton, 154
+
+Miners, 49, 51, 52
+
+Mod, the, 18
+
+Model minister, a, 170
+
+Moderates, the, 144-5
+
+Moon, the, 77
+
+M.P.'s, 69
+
+Moray Firth, 46
+
+Morar, 154
+
+Morley, Lord, 118
+
+Muck, 267
+
+Munro, Dr. Neil, 44, 318
+
+Murray, Sir James, 103
+
+Music, 65-67, 141
+
+Macallisters, etc., 318
+
+Macbain, Dr., 58
+
+M'Cheyne, 90
+
+Macdonald, Dr. George, 48
+
+Macdonald's gratitude, 313
+
+Macdonald, Rev. Mr., 146
+
+M'Gregors, the, 91
+
+Macivors, 318
+
+Mackays, the, 337
+
+Macleod, 61
+
+
+Nicholson, Sheriff, 185
+
+_Night Thoughts_, 64
+
+Norse blood, 183, 225
+
+"North, Christopher," 107, 167
+
+
+Olaf and his bride, 279
+
+Old Parochials, 200
+
+Ossian, 326-339
+
+Ovid, 300
+
+
+Paisley, 89
+
+Parish Councils, 187
+
+Paul, St., 132
+
+Peat-reek, 29
+
+Peden, the prophet, 292
+
+Peterhead, 220
+
+Phillimore, Professor, 206, note
+
+Pigmentation, 133
+
+Plymouth Brethren, 162-5
+
+Poetry (Chap. VIII.), 340-367
+
+Policemen, 23
+
+Poolewe, 67, 76
+
+Pope, 115, 119, 123, 127-9
+
+Pope, Rev. Alexander, 334-6
+
+Portknockie, 47
+
+Portree, 27, 76
+
+Portsoy, 46, 47
+
+Postmen, 28
+
+Prince Charlie, 44
+
+
+Quarff, 234
+
+
+Raasay, 26
+
+Ramsay, Sir William, 207
+
+_Rasmie's Buedie_, 227
+
+Rats, 37
+
+Reay, 333-6
+
+"Red-riding Hood," 142
+
+Religious books, 18
+
+Rob Don, 337
+
+Robertson, Mr. J. M., 41
+
+"Rob Roy," 183
+
+Romance and Augustanism, 127
+
+Rosebery, Lord, 297
+
+Rosehearty, 49
+
+Rothes, 325
+
+Royal Engineers, 69
+
+Ruskin, 177
+
+Russian merchant, a, 254
+
+
+Sabbath, the, 148
+
+Saddell, 92
+
+St. Kilda, 297
+
+Salen, 90
+
+Sandwick, 246
+
+Saxon and Celt, 41, 131
+
+Scalloway, 62
+
+School Boards, 184
+
+Science and Literature, 198
+
+Scotch Dialect, 103
+
+Scott, 84, 107, 183, 199, 312, 315
+
+Sea-sickness, 31
+
+Sermons in metre, 159-161
+
+Session Records, 44
+
+Shakespeare's Sonnets, 119
+
+Shaws and Grants, 323
+
+Shetlands (Chap. V.), 217-254
+
+Sidlaws, 193
+
+Skye, 28, 61
+
+Sound of Sleat, 26
+
+Spencer, 229
+
+Spenser, 128
+
+Staffin, 66
+
+Stewart, Dugald, 208
+
+Stornoway, 32-4
+
+Strachur, 79
+
+Suetonius, 113
+
+Surprises, 195
+
+Sutherland, Duchess of, 33
+
+
+Taisch, 290
+
+Tarbolton, 102
+
+Tannahill, 54, 90
+
+Tea-drinking, 39
+
+Tee-names, 47
+
+Teeth, 40
+
+Tennyson, 130
+
+Tiree, 301
+
+"Tom Eunan," 322
+
+Trossachs, 315
+
+Truants, 196
+
+
+Ullapool, 290
+
+
+Village halls, 75
+
+Virgil, 24, 219
+
+
+Ward, Mrs. H., 182
+
+War Office, 45
+
+Wason, Mr. C., 250
+
+Watson, Mr. William, 118, 218
+
+Weaving, 53
+
+Weir, Mr. Galloway, 15, 70
+
+Whalsay, 193
+
+Whiting Bay, 197
+
+Wordsworth, 21, 128, 309
+
+
+Xenophon, 122
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+ Publisher & Bookseller
+ by
+ Special Appointment
+ To Her late Majesty
+ Queen Victoria.
+
+
+A LIST OF BOOKS
+PUBLISHED BY
+ALEX. GARDNER, PAISLEY.
+
+ _Aitken._--Love in Its Tenderness. By J. R. Aitken. 3s. 6d.
+
+ _Anderson._--Morison-Grant.--Life, Letters, and Last Poems of
+ Lewis Morison-Grant. By Jessie Annie Anderson. 4s. 6d.
+
+ _Anderson._--Verses at Random. By Thistle Anderson (Mrs. Herbert
+ Fisher). 2s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- Dives' Wife, and other Fragments. By Thistle Anderson (Mrs.
+ Herbert Fisher). 2s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Anton._--The Flywheel: and What Keeps Us Steady. By Rev. Peter
+ Anton. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- Staying Power: Reconsiderations and Recreations. By Rev.
+ Peter Anton. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _A. O. M._--Two Brothers. By A. O. M. 2s. 6d.
+
+ _Auld._--Lyrics of Labour and other Poems. By Thomas C. Auld.
+
+ _Ayles._--Gillicolane. By Grueber Ayles. 4s. 6d.
+
+ _Aytoun._--The Braes o' Balquhidder. By Douglas Aytoun. 6s.
+
+ Ballads of the Scottish Border. With Introduction and Notes. 1s.
+ nett.
+
+ _Ballingal._--A. Prince of Edom. By J. Ballingal, B.D. 2s. 6d.
+
+ _Beatty._--The Secretar. By W. Beatty. 6s.
+
+ ---- The Shadow of the Purple. By W. Beatty. 2s. 6d.
+
+ "_Belinda's Husband._"--Plain Papers on Subjects Light and
+ Grave. By "Belinda's Husband." 2s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Beveridge._--Sma' Folk and Bairn Days. Translated from the
+ Norse by the Rev. John Beveridge, M.A., B.D. Second Edition. 3s.
+ 6d.
+
+ _Blair._--The Paisley Thread Industry and the Men who Created
+ and Developed It. By Matthew Blair. 6s. nett.
+
+ ---- The Paisley Shawl and the Men who Produced It. By Matthew
+ Blair. 7s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Brownlie._--Hymns of the Holy Eastern Church. Translated by
+ Rev. John Brownlie. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- Hymns from the Greek Office Books: Together with Centos and
+ Suggestions. Translated by Rev. John Brownlie. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- Hymns from the East. Translated by Rev. John Brownlie. 3s.
+ 6d. nett.
+
+ _Buchan._--The Ballad Minstrelsy of Scotland. By Patrick Buchan.
+ 5s.
+
+ The Songs of Scotland. Chronologically Arranged. 5s. Uniform
+ with above.
+
+ _Burns._--The Selected Works of Robert Burns. Edited by Rhona
+ Sutherland. Crown 4to. 430 pp. With Illustrations. Price 5s.
+ nett. Or in various Bindings--Prices on application.
+
+ _Bute._--Coronations--Chiefly Scottish. By the Marquess of Bute,
+ K.T. 7s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- Essays on Foreign Subjects. By the Marquess of Bute, K.T.
+ 10s. 6d.
+
+ ---- Seven Essays on Christian Greece. Translated by the
+ Marquess of Bute, K.T. 7s. 6d.
+
+ _Caird._--Sermons. By the late Rev. J. Renny Caird, M.A. With
+ Memoir, by Rev. Robert Munro, B.D. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Calder._--Poems of Life and Work. By Robert H. Calder. 2s. 6d.
+ nett.
+
+ _Campbell._--Notes on the Ecclesiastical Antiquities of Eastwood
+ Parish. By the late Rev. George Campbell. 12s. 6d. and 25s.
+ nett.
+
+ _Campbell._--Popular Tales of the West Highlands. By the late J.
+ F. Campbell, Islay. Four vols. 7s. 6d. each.
+
+ _Campbell._--The Elder's Prayer-Book. By Rev. Wm. Campbell, B.D.
+ 1s.
+
+ _Carslaw._--Heroes of the Scottish Covenant. By Rev. W. H.
+ Carslaw, D.D.
+
+ Vol. I.--James Guthrie, of Fenwick.
+ II.--Donald Cargill, of the Barony, Glasgow.
+ III.--James Renwick, the last of the Martyrs.
+
+ 1s. 6d. nett each. The three vols. in one, 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- Six Martyrs of the First and Second Reformations. By Rev.
+ W. H. Carslaw, D.D. 2s. nett.
+
+ ---- Exiles of the Covenant. By Rev. W. H. Carslaw, D.D. 2s.
+ nett.
+
+ _Chalmers._--Chalmers' Caledonia. 25s. and 40s. per vol. Vol.
+ VIII.--the Index--sold separately, 15s. and 25s. nett.
+
+ _Cheviot._--Proverbs, Proverbial Expressions, and Popular Rhymes
+ of Scotland. By Andrew Cheviot. 6s. nett.
+
+ _"Claverhouse."_--Gretna Green and Its Traditions. By
+ "Claverhouse." 1s. nett.
+
+ _Craigie._--Scandinavian Folk Lore. By W. A. Craigie, M.A.,
+ F.S.A. 7s. 6d.
+
+ _Drummond._--Life of Robert Nicoll. By the late P. R. Drummond,
+ Perth. 5s.
+
+ _Edgar._--Old Church Life in Scotland. By Andrew Edgar, D.D. 7s.
+ 6d.
+
+ ---- The Bibles of England. By Andrew Edgar, D.D. 7s. 6d.
+
+ _Eyre-Todd._--The Glasgow Poets. Edited by George Eyre-Todd. 7s.
+ 6d. nett.
+
+ _Fergusson._--Alexander Hume. By R. Menzies Fergusson, M.A. 5s.
+ nett.
+
+ ---- A Student of Nature. By R. Menzies Fergusson, M.A. 4s.
+ nett.
+
+ ---- A Village Poet. By R. Menzies Fergusson, M.A. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- Rambles in the Far North. By R. Menzies Fergusson, M.A. 3s.
+ and 2s.
+
+ ---- Logie: A Parish History. By R. Menzies Fergusson, M.A. 2
+ vols. 15s. nett. each vol.
+
+ ---- The Viking's Bride, and other Poems. By R. Menzies
+ Fergusson, M.A. 3s.
+
+ _Ferguson._--The King's Friend. By Dugald Ferguson. 3s. 6d.
+
+ _Fergusson._--The Poems of Robert Fergusson. Edited by Robt.
+ Ford. 5s. nett.
+
+ _Fife._--And I Knew It Not. By David Fife. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Findlay._--Medici Carmina. By William Findlay, M.D. 3s. 6d.
+ nett.
+
+ ---- Ayrshire Idylls of Other Days. By "George Umber." 5s.
+
+ ---- In My City Garden. By "George Umber." 6s.
+
+ ---- Robert Burns and the Medical Profession. By William
+ Findlay, M.D. ("George Umber.") 6s. nett.
+
+ _Fittis._--Curious Episodes in Scottish History. By R. Scott
+ Fittis. 6s.
+
+ ---- Heroines of Scotland. By R. Scott Fittis. 6s.
+
+ ---- Romantic Narratives from Scottish History and Tradition. By
+ R. Scott Fittis. 6s.
+
+ _Fleming._--Ancient Castles and Mansions of Stirling Nobility.
+ By J. S. Fleming, F.S.A. 21s. nett.
+
+ _Ford._--American Humourists. Selected and edited by Robert
+ Ford. 3s. 6d.
+
+ ---- Auld Scots Ballants. 6s.
+
+ ---- Ballads of Bairnhood. Selected and edited by Robert Ford.
+ 5s.
+
+ ---- Ballads of Babyland. Selected and edited by Robert Ford.
+ 5s.
+
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+ 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ----Ford's Own Humorous Scotch Stories. 1st and 2nd Series, 1s.
+ each nett. Both Series in 1 vol., 2s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- Poems and Songs of Alexander Rodger. Edited by Robert Ford.
+ 3s. 6d. nett.
+
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+ nett.
+
+ ---- The Harp of Perthshire. Edited by Robert Ford. 15s. and 7s.
+ 6d.
+
+ ---- Thistledown. By Robert Ford. 3s. 6d. and 1s. nett.
+
+ ---- Vagabond Songs and Ballads of Scotland. Edited by R. Ford.
+ 5s. nett.
+
+ ---- Miller's "Willie Winkie," and other Songs and Poems. Edited
+ by Robert Ford. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- The Heroines of Burns. By Robert Ford. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- Popular American Readings. Popular English Readings.
+ Popular Irish Readings. Popular Scotch Readings. Edited by
+ Robert Ford. 1s. each. Also in one vol., 4s.
+
+ _Forsyth._--Elocution: Simple Rules and Exercises for Correct
+ and Expressive Reading and Reciting. By John Forsyth. 1s. 6d.
+ nett. Gardner's Verse for Schools. Parts I. and II. 6d. nett
+ each part.
+
+ _Grosart._--The Verse and Miscellaneous Prose of Alexander
+ Wilson, the Ornithologist of America. Edited by Rev. A. B.
+ Grosart, LL.D. 12s. 6d.
+
+ _Hogg._--A Tour in the Highlands in 1803. By James Hogg. 2s. 6d.
+
+ _Holmes._--The Teaching of Modern Languages in Schools and
+ Colleges. By D. T. Holmes, B.A. 2s. nett.
+
+ ---- Literary Touring in the Scottish Highlands and Islands. By
+ D. T. Holmes, B.A. 4s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Johnson._--A Journey to the Western Islands of Scotland in
+ 1773. By Samuel Johnson, LL.D. New Edition. 2s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Kennedy._--David Kennedy, the Scottish Singer: Reminiscences of
+ his Life and Work. By Marjory Kennedy. And Singing Round the
+ World: a Narrative of his Colonial Tours. By David Kennedy, Jun.
+ 7s. 6d.
+
+ _Kennedy._--Reminiscences of Walt Whitman. By William Sloane
+ Kennedy, Camden, N.J. 6s.
+
+ _Ker._--Mother Lodge, Kilwinning, "The Ancient Lodge of
+ Scotland." By Rev. W. Lee Ker, Kilwinning. 4s. 6d.
+
+ _Kilgour._--Twenty Years on Ben Nevis. By Wm. T. Kilgour. 2/6 &
+ 1/6 nett.
+
+ ---- Lochaber in War and Peace. Illustrated. By Wm. T. Kilgour.
+ 7s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _King._--Shipwreck Wood: A Story of "Some that lift and some
+ that lean." By Carrol King. 2s.
+
+ _Mackean._--The King's Quhair. Done into English by Wm. Mackean.
+ 3s. 6d.
+
+ _M'Gown._--Ten Bunyan Talks. By G. W. T. M'Gown. 2s. nett.
+
+ ---- A Primer of Burns. By G. W. T. M'Gown. 1s. nett.
+
+ _MacKenzie._--History of the Outer Hebrides. By William C.
+ MacKenzie. 12s. 6d. nett. Large Paper, 21s.
+
+ _MacKenzie._--The Lady of Hirta. By Wm. C. MacKenzie, F.S.A.
+ Scot. 6s.
+
+ ---- A Short History of the Scottish Highlands and Isles. By Wm.
+ C. MacKenzie. New Edition. 5s. nett.
+
+ _Menzies._--Provincial Sketches and other Verses. By G. K.
+ Menzies. 2s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Menzies._--Illustrated Guide to the Vale of Yarrow. By James M.
+ Menzies. 1s. 6d. nett.
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+ _Metcalfe._--SS. Ninian and Machor--the Legends of, in the
+ Scottish Dialect of the Fourteenth Century. By W. M. Metcalfe,
+ D.D. 10s. 6d. nett. On Whatman Paper, 15s. nett.
+
+ ---- A History of the Shire of Renfrew from the Earliest Times
+ down to the Close of the Nineteenth Century. By W. M. Metcalfe.
+ D.D., F.S.A. 25s. nett. On Whatman Paper, 40s.
+
+ ---- History of Paisley. By W. M. Metcalfe, D.D. Illustrated.
+
+ ---- Charters and Documents relating to the Burgh of Paisley. By
+ W. M. Metcalfe, D.D. 21s. nett.
+
+ ---- Ancient Lives of the Scottish Saints. Translated by W. M.
+ Metcalfe, D.D. 15s. On Whatman Paper, 25s.
+
+ ---- Pinkerton's Lives of the Scottish Saints. Revised and
+ enlarged by W. M. Metcalfe, D.D. 2 vols. 15s. per vol.
+
+ ---- The Natural Truth of Christianity. Edited by W. M.
+ Metcalfe, D.D. 5s.
+
+ ---- The Reasonableness of Christianity. By W. M. Metcalfe, D.D.
+ 5s.
+
+ _Metcalfe._--The Great Palace of Constantinople. Translated from
+ the Greek of Dr. A. G. Paspates, by William Metcalfe, B.D. 10s.
+ 6d.
+
+ _Miller._--Selections from the Works of Hugh Miller. Edited by
+ W. M. Mackenzie, M.A., F.S.A. (Scot.). 3s. 6d.
+
+ _Mitchell._--A Popular History of the Highlands and Gaelic
+ Scotland. By Dugald Mitchell, M.D., J.P. 12s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Mitchell._--Jephtha: a Drama. Translated by A. G. Mitchell. 3s.
+ 6d. nett.
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+ ---- John the Baptist: a Drama. Translated by A. G. Mitchell.
+ 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Robertson._--Practical First Aid. By Wm. Robertson, M.D.,
+ D.P.H. 1s. 6d. nett.
+
+ ---- The Stone of Dunalter. By Wm. Robertson, M.D., D.P.H. 3s.
+ 6d.
+
+ Scotland Eighty Years Ago. Thirty-two Fine Copperplate Etchings
+ of the Chief Towns and their Surroundings. L5 5s. to subscribers
+ only.
+
+ _Smith._--The New Testament in Braid Scots. Rendered by Rev. Wm.
+ Wye Smith. New Edition. 6s. nett.
+
+ _Symington._--Hints to Our Boys. By A. J. Symington. 1s. 6d.
+
+ _Tannahill._--Poems and Songs of Robert Tannahill. Edited by the
+ late David Semple, F.S.A. New Edition. 3s. 6d. nett.
+
+ _Taylor._--The Autobiography of Peter Taylor. 3s. 6d.
+
+ _Taylor._--Twelve Favourite Hymns: their Messages and their
+ Writers. By Rev. Wm. Taylor, M.A. 2s. nett.
+
+ _Wright._--Laird Nicoll's Kitchen, and other Sketches of
+ Scottish Life and Manners. By Joseph Wright. 2s. 6d. nett.
+
+
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+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Literary Tours in The Highlands and
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