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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/29188-0.txt b/29188-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6543d3c --- /dev/null +++ b/29188-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,5553 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Ebrietatis Encomium, by +Boniface Oinophilus and Albert-Henri de Sallengre + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Ebrietatis Encomium + or, the Praise of Drunkenness + +Author: Boniface Oinophilus + Albert-Henri de Sallengre + +Translator: Robert Samber + +Release Date: June 21, 2009 [EBook #29188] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK EBRIETATIS ENCOMIUM *** + + + + +Produced by Louise Hope, Curtis Weyant and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by the Posner Memorial Collection +(http://posner.library.cmu.edu/Posner/)) + + + + + + + +[Transcriber’s Note: + +This e-text includes characters that require UTF-8 (Unicode) file +encoding, including a few lines of accented Greek: + + φεύ τινες ὕδωρ + +If these characters do not display properly or if the apostrophes and +quotation marks in this paragraph appear as garbage, make sure your text +reader’s “character set” or “file encoding” is set to Unicode (UTF-8). +You may also need to change the default font. As a last resort, use the +Latin-1 version of the file instead. + +This book was originally published in 1714 as “Eloge de l’Yvresse” +by Albert-Henri de Sallengre, and translated in 1723 by Robert Samber +with the present title. The 1812 edition updates the spelling and +punctuation, and omits part of the title page (see Errata), but is +otherwise the same text. + +In the original text, footnotes were identified with marks: * † For this +e-text they have been numbered from 1 within each chapter. Footnotes +added by the transcriber are identified with letters [1a] and [[double +brackets]]. The word “possibly” means that an attribution exists but +the transcriber has not personally seen the source text. + +Typographical errors are listed at the end of the e-text. Unless +otherwise noted, quotation marks are as printed.] + + * * * * * + * * * * + * * * * * + + [Illustration: VIVIMUS DUM BIBIMUS] + + + + + _EBRIETATIS ENCOMIUM_: + + or, the + PRAISE + of + DRUNKENNESS: + + Wherein Is Authentically, + and + Most Evidently Proved, + + THE NECESSITY + of + FREQUENTLY GETTING DRUNK; + + And, That the Practice Is Most Ancient, + Primitive, and Catholic. + + + By + BONIFACE OINOPHILUS, + De Monte Fiascone, A. B. C. + + + Vinum lætificans cor hominis. + Narratur et prisci Catonis, + Sæpe mero caluisse virtus. --HOR. + + + _LONDON:_ + Printed For C. Chapple, Pall Mall. + + 1812. + + + + +Harding & Wright, Printers, St. John’s Square, London. + + + + +EBRIETATIS ENCOMIUM: + +OR, THE + +PRAISE OF DRUNKENNESS + + + + +THE + +PREFACE. + + +If ever preface might serve for an apology, certainly this ought to do +so. The bare title of the book is enough to have it universally cried +down, and to give the world an ill opinion of its author; for people +will not be backward to say, that he who writes the Praise of +Drunkenness, must be a drunkard by profession; and who, by discoursing +on such a subject, did nothing but what was in his own trade, and +resolved not to move out of his own sphere, not unlike Baldwin, +a shoe-maker’s son, (and a shoe-maker), in the days of yore, who +published a treatise on the shoes of the ancients, having a firm +resolution strictly to observe this precept, _Ne sutor ultra crepidam_. + +To this I answer, I am very well contented, that the world should +believe me as much a drunkard, as Erasmus, who wrote The Praise of +Folly, was a fool, and weigh me in the same balance. + +But some will say, what good can a man propose to himself in being a +panegyrist for drunkenness? To solve this difficulty I shall make use of +a comparison. + +M. Pelisson, in his History of the French Academy, says, that Menage did +not compose that famous Requete des Dictionaires, in which he ridicules +all the academics, on account of any aversion he had to them, but purely +to divert himself, and not to lose the witty turns that came into his +head upon that subject. In the same manner, I declare that I did not +undertake this work on account of any zeal I have for wine, you must +think, but only to divert myself, and not to lose a great many curious +remarks I have made upon this most catholic liquid. + +It may farther be objected, that this work is so stuffed with +quotations, that they hinder the book itself from being seen; like what +I heard say of a country fellow, who complained when he left London, +that he could not see it for the houses. As an excuse for all the +others, I shall make use of one quotation more, and this I shall borrow +from Mr. Bayle.[1] “There is no room to doubt,” says he, “but some +readers will judge, that there are a little too many quotations in this +work, which is no less a disorder, they will say, than what happens in +some cities, where the strangers are more numerous than the citizens. +But of what importance is it to travellers, that such disorder appears +in any country, provided they find in it honest folks. There is no +reason why reading may not be compared to travelling. We should +therefore be very little concerned, whether, according to the ancient +country frugality, we are entertained with what is of its proper growth; +or if, instead of the flesh of domestic animals, and the fruits of our +own vineyards and gardens, we are served with what comes from the +market. That which really is of consequence is, that the meat be +wholesome and well dressed, and the wine good, &c. _Unde habeat quærat +nemo, sufficit habere._” + +As to the rest, I am very far from the sentiments of a certain writer, +who having found in his book _one_ fault only, consulted one of his +friends, whether he should put down Errata or Erratum. For my part, +I subscribe with all my heart to the Errata of Benserade, and in his +words frankly own, that + + Pour moy, parmi des fautes innombrables, + Je n’en connois que deux considerables, + Et dont je fais ma declaration, + C’est l’entreprise et l’execution, + A mon avis fautes irreparables, + En ce volume. + + Though num’rous faults I see in this small book, + (And so may any one that will but look), + I know but _two_ of much consideration, + Of which I here make public declaration, + The _undertaking_ and the _execution_, + Faults too extravagant for absolution. + + + [Footnote 1: Pref. des Rep. aux Quest. d’un Pr. T. 1.] + + + + +CONTENTS. + + Page. + CHAP. I. That one must be Merry 1 + CHAP. II. That Wine drives away Sorrow, and excites Mirth 16 + CHAP. III. That it is good for one’s Health + to get Drunk sometimes 29 + CHAP. IV. That old People ought to get Drunk sometimes 35 + CHAP. V. That Wine creates Wit 38 + CHAP. VI. That Wine makes one Eloquent 46 + CHAP. VII. That Wine acquires Friends, and reconciles Enemies 49 + CHAP. VIII. That the Custom of getting Drunk is most ancient 53 + CHAP. IX. That the Primitive Christians got Drunk 57 + CHAP. X. Of Churchmen 61 + CHAP. XI. Of Popes, Saints, and Bishops, + that used to get Drunk 67 + CHAP. XII. A Catalogue of some illustrious Topers 73 + CHAP. XIII. Of Philosophers that used to get Drunk 78 + CHAP. XIV. Of Poets that used to get Drunk 85 + CHAP. XV. Of Free Masons, and other learned Men, + that used to get Drunk 88 + CHAP. XVI. Of Nations that used to get Drunk 104 + CHAP. XVII. Of the Drunkenness of the Germans 112 + CHAP. XVIII. Of Nations that get Drunk with certain Liquors 121 + CHAP. XIX. Other Considerations in favour of Drunkenness 126 + CHAP. XX. An Answer to the Objection, That Drunkenness + causes infinite Evils 130 + CHAP. XXI. An Answer to the Objection, That the Mirth + which Wine inspires is chimerical 133 + CHAP. XXII. An Answer to the Objection, That one loses + one’s Reason in getting Drunk 142 + CHAP. XXIII. An Answer to the Objection, That one cannot + trust a Man that gets Drunk 150 + CHAP. XXIV. An Answer to the Objection, That Drunkenness + makes one incapable of performing the Duties of civil Life 152 + CHAP. XXV. Burlesque, ridiculous, and out-of-the-Way + Thoughts against Drunkenness 157 + CHAP. XXVI. A ridiculous Aversion that some have to Wine 160 + CHAP. XXVII. Rigorous Laws against Wine and Drunkenness 164 + CHAP. XXVIII. Rules to be observed in getting Drunk. + I. Not too often. II. In good Company 169 + CHAP. XXIX. Third Rule, With good Wine 171 + CHAP. XXX. Fourth Rule, At convenient Times 177 + CHAP. XXXI. Fifth Rule, To force no one to drink 181 + CHAP. XXXII. Sixth Rule, Not to push Drunkenness too far 184 + POSTSCRIPT 193 + + + + + The + + PRAISE + + of + + DRUNKENNESS + + + + +CHAP. I. + +THAT ONE MUST BE MERRY. + + +If on one hand I have reason to fear that the title of this book will +offend the delicate ears of a great many, and make them say, that no +vice ever wanted its advocate, _Nullo vitio unquam defuit advocatus_; I +am not, perhaps, less exposed on the other to the criticisms of as many +folks, who will probably apply to me that which was said heretofore to +one in Lacedemonia, who had a mind to make an encomium on Hercules, viz. +Who ever blamed Hercules? + + Quis Herculem vituperavit? + +However, though I should have no readers at all, yet am I resolved to +continue my discourse at the hazard, in some manner, of imitating Pyrrho +the philosopher, who one day, as he was haranguing the people, seeing +himself abandoned by all his auditors, pursued very magnanimously his +declamation to the end. To enter, therefore, upon the present subject, +I lay down this as my first position, viz. That it is lawful to get +drunk sometimes. Which I prove thus:-- + +Sadness is in the highest degree prejudicial to health, and causes +abundance of distempers. There is no one ignorant of this truth. Joy +(or mirth) on the contrary, prevents and forces them away. It is, as the +Arabians say, the flower and spirit of a brisk and lively health[1]. Let +us run over, and examine all the different states of life, and we shall +be forced to own, that there is not one of them all but what is subject +to chagrin and sadness; and, consequently, that joy, or mirth, is most +necessary to men. Which very probably the philosopher had in his head, +when he defined man a risible animal. But be that as it will, one must +certainly look upon that maxim which recommends mingling of pleasures +with the affairs of life as a very wise one. + + Sometimes with mirth and pleasure lard your cares[2]. + +We shall confirm this precept by a beautiful passage out of Seneca, +whose writings most certainly contain no loose morality, and which is as +follows:-- “The soul must not be always bent: one must sometimes allow +it a little pleasure. Socrates was not ashamed to pass the time with +children. Cato enjoyed himself in drinking plentifully, when his mind +had been too much wearied out in public affairs. Scipio knew very well +how to move that body, so much inured to wars and triumphs, without +breaking it, as some now-a-days do, with more than womanly pleasures; +but as people did in past times, who would make themselves merry on +their festivals, by leading a dance really worthy men of those days, +whence could ensue no reproach, when even their very enemies had seen +them dance. One must allow the mind some recreation: it makes it more +gay and peaceful. And as it is not good too much to cultivate soil the +most fertile, least, by yielding too large crops, it may soon run to +decay and ruin: so in the same manner is the mind broken by a continued +labour and application. Those who respite a little, regain their +strength. Assiduity of labour begets a languor and bluntness of the +mind: for sleep is very necessary to refresh us, and yet he that would +do nothing else but sleep night and day, would be a dead man and no +more. There is a great deal of difference between loosening a thing, and +quite unravelling it. Those who made laws have instituted holydays, to +oblige people to appear at public rejoicings, in order to mingle with +their cares a necessary temperament. There have been several very great +men (as I have mentioned) who would set apart certain days of the month +for that end; and some others, who had every day set hours for work, and +other set hours for recreation. One must therefore allow the mind some +recreation. One must allow it some repose and leisure, which may serve +for new strength and nourishment. You must sometimes walk in the open +air, that the mind may exalt itself by viewing the heavens, and +breathing the air at your ease; sometimes take the air in your chariot, +the roads and the change of the country will re-establish you in your +vigour; or you may eat and drink a little more plentifully than usual. +Sometimes one must go even as far as to get drunk; not, indeed, with an +intention to drown ourselves in wine, but to drown our cares. For wine +drives away sorrow and care, and goes and fetches them up from the +bottom of the soul. And as drunkenness cures some distempers, so, in +like manner, it is a sovereign remedy for our sorrows[3].” + +It must be confessed, indeed, that properly speaking, this passage of +Seneca is levelled only against too great assiduity in labour and +business; the application, however, is very just, in relation to +chagrin, which causes in men’s minds a far greater alteration than can +be excited by the most rude labour either of mind or body. + +The ancients had, besides this, another motive which induced them to +make merry, and pass their time agreeably. They considered the short +duration of their life, and for that reason endeavoured to make the best +use of it they could. It will be no difficult matter for me to prove +what I here advance. + +Every one knows that the Egyptians made use of a very extraordinary +custom in their festivals. They shewed to every guest a skeleton: this, +according to some, was to make them think of death. Others again assure +us, “That this strange figure was made use of to a quite contrary end; +that this image of death was shewn for no other intent but to excite +them to pass away their life merrily, and to employ the few days of its +small duration to the best advantage; as having no other condition to +expect after death, but that of this frightful skeleton[4].” + +This last sentiment is, without doubt, most probable; for what +likelihood is there that people would make reflections the most sad and +serious, at a time when they proposed only to divert, and make +themselves merry. This influence had the sight of a skull upon the mind +of Trimalchion, who Petronius[5] tells us, thus expressed himself on +that object:-- “Alas! alas! wretched that we are! what a nothing is poor +man! we shall be all like this, when Fate shall have snatched us hence. +Let us therefore rejoice, and be merry while we are here.” The Latin is +much stronger:-- + + Heu! heu! nos miseros! quam totus homuncio nil est, + Sic erimus cuncti, postquam nos auferet orcus. + Ergo vivamus, dum licet esse, bene. + +A little before he said almost the same thing. “Alas! wine therefore +lives longer than man, let us then sit down and drink bumpers; life and +wine are the same thing.” _Heu! heu! ergo diutius vivit vinum, quam +homuncio. Quare Tangomenas faciamus, vita vinum est._ This puts me in +mind of what Athenæus[6] reports of an Egyptian, called Mycernius. This +man having been told by the oracle that he had but a very short time to +live, resolved to make the most of that short space, and to that end did +nothing but drink night and day. + +This thought of an approaching death is not so importunate as is +believed, since it is, says an[7] anonymous French author, a principal +beauty of an ancient hymn of the poet Cecilius. “Let me be assured, says +he, that I shall live six months, and I shall employ them so well, as to +die the seventh without any regret in the world.” + +The same author goes on thus:-- “The moderns have not failed imitating +the elegant flights of the fine wits of the ancient Greeks and Romans. +I find, especially, that the Italians come nearer to them; perhaps, +because they are more proper than others to refine on pleasure. This is +the character of the nation, of the truth of which I shall give no other +proof than the last lines of an elegy, written by Samazarius, +a Neapolitan gentleman.” The sense of which in English runs thus. + + Since vig’rous youth, all blooming, brisk, and gay, + Excites our tender souls to sport and play, + Let’s taste ambrosial pleasures while we may. + Those joys to which our souls are most inclin’d, + And suit the throbbing passions of the mind. + Let’s love while soft ecstatic fires engage, + And shew us lovers on the world’s great stage, + Dull reason only suits with frightful age. + And see, she comes, for ever to destroy, + For ever all our bliss, and all our joy. + Unwelcome age comes on with swiftest pace; + Let’s then prevent this wretched sad disgrace. + O may the terrors of approaching fate, + Excite new fires, inspire fresh vig’rous heat; + That love may sov’reign reign in ev’ry part, + And drive unworthy weakness from our heart. + Thrice happy, if surpriz’d by death one day, + Absorpt in sweetest bliss we die away. + +But to return to my subject. We are told for certain, that the Scythians +used to drink out of a skull; and probably they had the same design in +doing so as the Egyptians had in looking on their skeletons. But leaving +these objects, which cannot be very diverting, in what view soever one +may consider them, let us come to the Romans. Gruter tells us in his +Inscriptions[8], that they used to cry out at their feasts, + + AMICI, + DUM VIVIMUS, + VIVAMUS. + +That is, “Friends, while we live, let us be merry.” For Raderus has +evidently made it appear, by several examples out of Catullus, Cecilius, +Varro, Anacreon, and other ancient authors, that _vivere_, or _to live_, +signifies to make merry, to give one’s self up to all kinds of +pleasures, making good cheer, &c. + +I know not whether the Gascogns, who pronouncing the _V_ consonant like +_B_, instead of VIVIS _et regnas in secula seculorum_, say (as I have +been informed, how true it is I know not) BIBIS _et regnas in secula +seculorum_, are of the same sentiment with Raderus in this point: but +very probably that good honest German was, who in a kind of ecstasy over +a bottle cry’d out, + + O felices populi, quorum _vivere_ est _bibere_! + +However, to prove this, as also at the same time to confirm what has +been said above, in relation to the motives that induced people of old +times to make merry, I shall instance some passages of the ancients. But +first let us not omit this inscription in Gruter[9], which is not much +unlike the former. + + VIVE, HOSPES, DUM LICET, ATQUE VALE. + +“Be merry, landlord, and enjoy yourself while ’tis in your power, as for +the rest, adieu.” + +Martial says somewhere, “Be merry to-day, depend not on to-morrow.” + + Sera nimis vita est crastina, vive hodie. + +Catullus expresses much the same sentiments in these beautiful verses:-- + + “Vivamus -------- + Rumoresq; senum severiorum, + Omnes unius estimemus assis. + Soles occidere et redire possunt; + Nobis cum semel occidit brevis lux, + Nox est perpetua una dormienda.”[9a] + + “Let us be merry -------- + And all the rigid cant of peevish age, + Count as poor straws that on the surface float. + The sun may roll his swift diurnal course, + And from the ocean raise again his head, + But when our glimm’ring lamp of life’s expir’d, + One long perpetual night we then must sleep.” + +Horace, in several places, says how we ought (according to him) to +employ to the best advantage the little time we have to live; but +especially in one of his odes, which in English would run thus. + + I. + + “All things hereto invite. Come, come, away, + Let’s seize the present hours, nor vainly care + For future time, but wisely, only fear + To lose of life one short uncertain day, + Or moment, which in death must soon decay, + No human force can her strict laws withstand: + Her cruel rigour no one spares, + The blooming cheek, and hoary hairs, + Alike submit to her victorious hand. + O’er all she bears unbounded sway, + All her impartial scythe relentless mows: + Th’ ill-manner’d tyranness no difference shows, + Betwixt imperial and plebeian clay. + + II. + + When we the dark and dismal beach + Of dreaded floods below shall reach, + And vain cold phantoms quiv’ring stand, + In those sad gloomy shades of night, + No Cynthia’s charms will then command, + Nor Iris with her angel’s voice delight; + Nor Doris with soft dying languors move. + These dreary realms exclude, alas! for ever love. + + III. + + Nor are there any boon companions _there_, + To laugh, and sing, and make good cheer: + There shall we taste no more that wondrous juice, + That nectar which the blessed vines produce, + The height of all our joy, and wishes _here_. + Nor those sweet entertainments gay, + When by the glass inspir’d so many kings, + We tope, and speak, and do heroic things, + And count ourselves more happy far than they. + These days of ours the fatal sisters spin, + To consecrate to love and wine, + Let’s now, e’er ’tis too late begin. + Alas! without these pow’rs divine + What should one do with a vain useless thread? + What does it aught avail to breathe and move? + One had as good be dead, + Much better be no more, than not to drink and love.” + +I shall close this chapter with one of the Anacreontic odes of the +famous Monsieur La Motte, author of the _Fables Nouvelles_, lately +translated into English under the title of “_Court Fables_.” + + “Bûvons, amis, le temps s’enfuit, + Menageons bien ce court espace. + Peut-etre une eternelle nuit + Eteindra le jour qui se passe. + + Peut-etre que Caron demain + Nous recevra tous dans sa barque, + Saisissons un moment certain. + C’est autant de pris sur la parque. + + A l’envi laissons-nous saisir, + Aux transports d’une douce ivresse: + Qu’importe si c’est un plaisir, + Que ce soit folie ou sagesse.” + + “Let’s drink, my friends, time flies away, + Let’s husband well this little space; + For what we know, this very day + May to eternal night give place. + + Let’s snatch from Fate one certain minute, + Perhaps to-morrow Charon’s wherry, + May every mother’s son take in it, + And waft us o’er the Stygian ferry. + + In giddy transports without measure + With wine lets drown all melancholy. + No matter if it be a pleasure, + Whether ’tis wisdom call’d, or folly.” + + + [Footnote 1: Elle est, comme disent les Arabes, la fleur et + l’esprit de la santé vive et remuante.] + + [Footnote 2: Interpone tuis interdum gaudia curis.] + + [Footnote 3: Seneca de Tranquilitate.] + + [Footnote 4: Histoire de Sept Sages, &c. p. 137.] + + [Footnote 5: Chap. 34.] + + [Footnote 6: Lib. 10. cap. 10.] + + [Footnote 7: Reflex. sur les Morts Plais. p. 22.] + + [Footnote 8: P. 609.] + + [Footnote 9: P. 699.] + + [[Footnote 9a: Catullus V.1-6 (“Vivamus, mea Lesbia, atque + amemus”)]] + + + + +CHAP. II. + +THAT WINE DRIVES AWAY SORROW AND EXCITES MIRTH. + + +Of all the means proper to drive away sorrow, and excite mirth in the +minds of men, wine is certainly the most agreeable and efficacious. + +For in the first place it banishes all manner of cares, and makes us +entirely forget them, producing the same effect as the waters of the +River Lethe on those souls which were destined to enter into other +bodies. + + ------------ Animæ quibus altera fato + Corpora debentur, Lethei ad fluminis undam + Securos latices, et longa oblivio potant[1]. + + ------------ Those souls which Fate decrees + Shall other bodies take, upon the strand + Of Lethe sit, and drink secure the flood, + And long oblivion. + +For the same reason, undoubtedly, Isidore defined drunkenness a certain +forgetfulness caused in the mind, through indulgence of immoderate +drinking. His words are these:-- _Ebrietas est per quam menti quædam +oblivio generatur ex superfluorum potuum indulgentia_[2]. + +A certain French poet[3] sings thus much in the same tune:-- + + “Oui, Thirsis, c’est le vin qui nous fait rejeunir, + Et qui bannit de nos pensees; + Le regret de choses possees, + Et le crainte de l’avenir.” + + Yes, Thirsis, ’tis the vine’s prolific juice + Can youth and beauty re-produce, + Banish the sad regret of former years, + And of futurity the fears. + +In the next place, wine is a sovereign remedy against a particular +species of sorrow or chagrin, I mean a sort of inward wearisomeness, +which the French call _ennui_. I shall explain myself a little farther, +and for my expositor I cannot make choice of a fitter person than Mr. de +St. Evremont[4], who, after having discoursed a little on this subject, +adds, “That good cheer with one’s friends, is a sovereign remedy against +this kind of chagrin; for besides that conversation at such times +becomes more free and gay, it insensibly sweetens it. It is certain that +wine rouses up the forces of nature, and gives our soul a vigour capable +to drive away all sorts of uneasiness. I know very well that certain +morose people, at least externally so, and in appearance, will shew a +great deal of aversion for a remedy, the delights of which they do not, +however, too much despise. But all grimace aside. I don’t trouble myself +with their ill-understood severities, since the most severe philosopher +in the world has advised us to make use of this remedy; and the most +morose of our illustrious men have submitted, if we may say so, their +most austere virtues to the charms of this sweet pleasure; and the most +well-bred people have not disdained its usage.” + +In a word, (I must speak a little French now and then,) + + [5]Le vin fait que les annees, + Nous durent moins que les journees. + + Wine makes whole years to pass away, + And seem much shorter than one day. + +But it does more than all this, it even assuages choler; it is an +admirable cataplasm for rage. To cite a vast number of examples to prove +this important truth would be superfluous. Amongst the many illustrious +ones I could instance, I shall content myself to mention that of the +Emperor Maximin[6], who, having been declared an enemy to the people of +Rome, by the senate, fell into such a rage and fury, that no other way +could be thought on to bring him back to his natural temper than by +making him drunk. + +But let us return to the two principal qualities of wine, which consist +in driving away care and sorrow, and exciting mirth and joy. + +A certain French author[7] has a few verses on this subject, which, as +not _mal-apropos_, I shall here insert. Talking of the good qualities of +wine, he says,-- + + “Tu sais, mon cher Thirsis, qu’il a le privilege + D’etouffer les ennuis dont l’aigreur nous assiege. + Et que cette liqueur chasse de nos esprits, + Tous les facheux pensers dont nous sommes surpris, + C’est ce qui nous oblige a cherir la bouteille.” + + You know, dear Thirsis, and full well you know, + To wine this privilege we owe, + It stifles all those sad invading cares + Which irksome chagrin ever wears. + + This sprightful liquid makes us brisk and gay, + And drives effectually away + Those thoughts vexatious that surprise our soul, + And makes us cherish the full bowl. + +Seneca, whom I have mentioned in the foregoing chapter, confirms what +has been said, “Sometimes,” says he, “one must go even so far as +drunkenness; not, indeed, that it may drown us, but drown our cares: for +drunkenness washes away care, and moves the very bottom of the soul. And +as it is a sovereign remedy against some distempers, so is it a perfect +cure for heaviness and sorrow. _Nonnunquam usque ad ebrietatem +veniendum, non ut mergat nos, sed ut deprimat curas. Eluit enim curas, +et ab imo animæ movet, et ut morbis quibusdam, ita tristitiæ +medetur_[8]. On this account certainly it was, Pliny maintained that +Nepenthe, whose virtues Homer so much exaggerates, was nothing in the +world but generous wine. + +Horace, in like manner, insists that wine is the only proper expeller of +the most racking cares. + + ---------------- Neque + Mordaces aliter diffugiunt sollicitudines[9]. + + Nor otherwise are cank’ring cares remov’d. + +And thus advises the sage Plancus to have recourse to this remedy:-- + + “Sic tu sapiens finire memento + Tristitiam, vitæque labores + Molli, Plance, mero.”[9a] + + So, thou, sage Plancus, this _memento_ keep, + To lull the cares and toils of life asleep + With cordial juleps of old mellow wine; + The grand and universal anodyne. + +In another place he thus beautifully sounds the praises of +drunkenness:-- + + “Ebrietas quid non designat? operta recludit + Spes jubet esse ratas: in prælia trudit inertem, + Sollicitis animis onus eximit: addocet artes. + Facundi calices, quem non fecere disertum? + Contracta quem non in paupertate solutum.”[9b] + + In drunkenness what pow’rful magic lies, + What’s most envelop’d from researching eyes, + (Transparent thing!) it evidently shows, + The innocent no dark disguises knows. + By her commands our hopes maturely rise, + Push’d on to war the coward dauntless dies, + And sinking minds beneath unwieldy care, + Cast off the load, and move with sprightful air. + To her, all arts their origin must owe: + What wretch so dull but eloquent must grow, + When the full goblets with persuasive wine, + Inebriate with bright elegance divine, + The drunken beggars plume like proudest kings, + And the poor tipsy slave in fetters sings. + +After all this, will any one accuse me for a plagiary, and that I steal +from the most common places? No matter. I have company enough: do not +all modern authors do so? However, I shall not, for all that, pass over +in silence what Ovid has said of this same drunkenness. The passage is +this:-- + + “Vina parant animos, faciuntque coloribus aptos. + Cura fugit, multo diluiturque mero. + Tunc veniunt risus, tunc pauper cornua sumit, + Tunc dolor et curæ, rugaque frontis abit. + Tunc aperit mentes, ævo rarissima nostro + Simplicitas, artes excutiente Deo.”[9c] + +As I am nothing less than a poet, I shall not presume _to dance with the +Nine Sisters_, to make use of the thought of the ingenious Sarasin. +However, here follows an Ode of Anacreon, which may supply the place of +a translation of those verses of Ovid. + + I. + + When I hold a full glass in my hand, + I laugh and I merrily sing; + I think I have sov’reign command + And the treasures possess of a king. + + II. + + Let who will try their fate in the field, + In war all their days let them pass: + No arms but the bottle I’ll weild, + Fill, boy, then, a thundering glass, + + III. + + If Bacchus the victory gain, + On the ground tho’ I’m motionless laid; + All agree it, _a truth very plain_, + ’Tis better be _drunk_ than be _dead_. + +And very probably the Greek philosopher had wine in view, when he caused +an inscription to be made over his door in these words, in capitals, +“Here are remedies for all sorts of afflictions: here are cures for all +distempers of the soul.” + +The philosopher so often quoted by Seneca, desired no more than bread +and cheese, to rival Jupiter in happiness. For my part, though I am no +less a philosopher, yet I desire nothing to effect this but good wine. +For when I take a hearty glass, I find myself so much transported with +joy, that I could almost cry out with that little fool in the Latin +comedy[10], “Now could I pardon any one that would kill me, so much +afraid am I lest some accident may trouble the purity of my happiness, +and mingle some ungrateful bitter with the exquisite sweets I now +enjoy.” And, indeed, it is amongst bottles and glasses that one may +truly say, + + -------- “Mediis videat discumbere in astris, + Cum Jove, et Iliacâ porrectum sumere dextrâ + Immortale merum[11].” + + Far from the earth remov’d in realms above, + I seem amongst the stars to sit with Jove: + Lolling in ease celestial, lie supine, + And taste from Ganymede immortal wine. + +And without doubt Asclepiades had all this in his head, when he +maintained that the gods produced nothing that equalled wine in +goodness. Philostratus is much of the same sentiment, who after having +taken notice of the edict of the Emperor Domitian, who forbad men to be +castrated, and vines to be planted, he adds, that this admirable emperor +did not reflect that he made the earth in some sort an eunuch, at the +same time that he spared men. + +Varro sounded the praise of drunkenness in terms no less pathetic. + + “Vino nil quicquam jucundius eluet, + Hoc continet coagulum convivii; + Hoc hilaritatis dulce seminarium + Hoc ægritudinem ad medendam invenerunt.”[11a] + + Than wine no orient jewels finer play, + And dart more pleasantly their glittering ray. + This vital juice, the cream of all the feast, + Strong cement, close uniting every breast, + The sweet prolific seed of gay desires, + Bright mirth, and gen’rous amity inspires. + This was found out a certain remedy + To set mankind from all distempers free. + +Monsieur La Motte, whom I must ever admire for his inimitable Court +Fables, before mentioned, will furnish us with a beautiful ode to close +this chapter[12]. + + “Bacchus contre moi tout conspire, + Viens me consoler de mes maux: + Je vois au mépris de la lire + Couronner d’indignes rivaux. + + Tout me rend la vie importune + Une volage me trahit, + J’eus peu de bien de la fortune, + L’injustice me le ravit. + + Mon plus cher ami m’abandonne, + En vain j’implore son secours, + Et la calomnie empoisonne. + Le reste de mes tristes jours. + + Bacchus viens me verser a boire + Encore----bon----je suis soulagé, + Chaque coup m’ôte la memoire + Des maux qui m’avoient affligé. + + Verse encore----je vois l’allegresse + Nager sur le jus precieux. + Donne, redouble----O douce yvresse! + Je suis plus heureux que les dieux.” + + Help, Bacchus, or I’m quite undone, + All things against my peace conspire; + Unworthy rivals many a one, + I find, despising song and lyre. + + My life’s entirely irksome grown, + By an inconstant I’m betray’d, + On that small fortune, once my own, + Injustice has severely prey’d. + + Forsaken by my dearest friend, + In vain his succour I implore; + And calumnies rank poisons send, + And what is left of life devour. + + Bacchus, some wine; fill higher yet + Again----so----I some comfort find; + Each smiling glass makes me forget + Those evils that have rack’d my mind. + + Some more----I see gay images + On the rich surface sprightly move, + Fill double----O sweet drunkenness! + I’m happier than the gods above. + + + [Footnote 1: Virgil. Æneid. lib. vi. v. 713.] + + [Footnote 2: Lib. 3. Etymol.] + + [Footnote 3: Rec. Poes.] + + [Footnote 4: Miscel. vol. i.] + + [Footnote 5: Rec. de Poes.] + + [Footnote 6: Jul. Capit. Hist. Aug. Script. fol. p. 359.] + + [Footnote 7: Nicol. Rec. de Vers. p. 44.] + + [Footnote 8: Seneca de Tranquil.] + + [Footnote 9: Lib. i. ode 18.] + + [[Footnote 9a: Horace, _Odes_ I.vii.17-19.]] + + [[Footnote 9b: Horace, _Epistulae_ I.v.16-20.]] + + [[Footnote 9c: Ovid, _Ars Amatoria_ I.237-242.]] + + [Footnote 10: Nunc est profecto cum me patior interfici, ne hoc + gaudium aliquâ contaminetur ægritudine. --_Eunuch._] + + [Footnote 11: Statii Sil. 2. lib. iv.] + + [[Footnote 11a: Varro, Menippean Satires, fragment from _Est + modus matulae_.]] + + [Footnote 12: Ode ix. Anacr.] + + + + +CHAP. III. + +THAT IT IS GOOD FOR ONE’S HEALTH TO GET DRUNK SOMETIMES. + + +Although mirth and joy be absolutely necessary to health, yet it must be +allowed that there are a great many pleasures very injurious and +prejudicial to it; and we should act with precaution in using those we +make choice of[1]. But this precaution is not necessary in those we seek +in the sweet juice of the grape. So far is drunkenness from prejudicing +our health, that, on the contrary, it highly preserves it. This is the +sentiment of the most able physicians. These worthy gentlemen are +arbiters of life and death. They have over us, _jus vitæ et necis_. We +must therefore believe them. _Ergo_, let us heartily carouse. Every one +knows that Hippocrates, the prince of physicians, prescribes getting +drunk once a month, as a thing very necessary to the conservation of +health; for, according to him, in the words of a certain French +lady [2], + + “Une utile et douce chaleur + Fait qu’on pense au sortir de table + Avoir pris de cet or potable, + Qui triomphe des ans, qui chasse la douleur, + Qui fait tout, et qui par malheur + N’a jamais été qu’une fable.” + + When from the bottle, flush’d with wine, we rise, + The brisk effluvia brighten in our eyes; + This sweet and useful warmth still makes us think, + That cups of potable rich gold we drink, + Which baffles time, and triumphs over years, + Drives away grief, and sad perplexing cares; + Does all, and yet in fables sweet disguise, + O dire mishap! its only essence lies. + +“Avicenna and Rasis, most excellent physicians of Arabia, say[3], that +it is a thing very salutary and wholesome to get drunk sometimes.” + +Monsieur Hofman confirms what has been just now said in relation to +Avicenna, and adds thereto the testimony of another physician. +“Avicenna,” says he[4], “absolutely approves getting drunk once or twice +every month, and alleges for it physical reasons.” --Dioscorides says, +“That drunkenness is not always hurtful, but that very often it is +necessary for the conservation of health.” --Homer says, “That Nestor, +who lived so long, tossed off huge bocals of wine[5].” + +Monsieur Hofman believes also, that wine is an excellent preservative +against distempers, and of an admirable use in their cure. In like +manner, several divines believe, that there is no manner of harm in +getting drunk, when it is done for health’s sake and not for pleasure. +In this class one may reckon Pere Taverne, a Jesuit[6]. These are his +words: “Drunkenness,” says he, “is a mortal sin, if one falls into it +for pleasure only; but if one gets drunk for any honest end, as for +example, by direction of one’s physician in order to recover health, +there is no manner of harm in it at all.” + +But, however, not to digress too much from our subject, to preserve +their health the Africans drink a great deal of wine; and this they do +to help the digestion of the vast quantity of fruits they eat. + +Montaigne[7] tells us, that he heard Silvius, an excellent physician of +Paris, say, “That to keep up the powers of the stomach, that they faint +not, it would be very proper to rouze them up once a month by this +wholesome excess. And if we believe Regnier, a young physician does not +see so far as an old drunkard[8]. + +We also say with the French poet[9], + + “Si Bourdaloue[10] un peu severe + Nous dit: craignez la volupté + Escobar[10], lui dit on mon pere + Nous la permet pour la santé!” + + If Bourdaloue, somewhat severe, + Warns us to dread voluptuous sweets, + Good honest father Escobar, + To fuddle for one’s health permits. + +And, by the bye, if the number of physicians, who used to get drunk, +proves any thing, I could insert a good round catalogue, amongst whom I +do not find any English doctors, for they are the most abstemious +persons in the world; however, being unwilling to trouble my gentle +reader with so long a bead-roll, I shall instance only two very +illustrious topers of the faculty. The first is no less a man than the +great Paracelsus, who used to get drunk very often; and the other is the +famous master Dr. Francis Rabelais, who took a singular pleasure to +moisten his clay; or to make use of one of his own expressions, _Humer +le piot_. + +I could, after these, mention Patin[11], who tells us, That when he gave +his public entertainment for his _decanat_, or deanship, at which +thirty-six of his colleagues assisted, he never saw in all his life so +much toping. From all which, however, one may very reasonably infer, +that so many able persons would never have drunk so much, had they not +thought it was no ways prejudicial to their health. + +To conclude, let any one allege this verse as a maxim, that + + Pocula non lædunt paucula, multa nocent. + + It does no harm to take a glass or two, + But in great numbers mighty ills accrue. + +And I shall do myself the honour to answer him with another verse, that +sometimes + + Una salus sanis multam potare salutem[12]. + + The only health to people hale and sound, + Is to have many a tippling health go round. + +And that this is true, witness the great Hippocrates, who says, + + That what to health conduceth best, + Is fuddling once a month at least[13]. + + + [Footnote 1: _Voluptates ut mel summo digito degustandæ non plerâ + manu sumendæ._ Dionys. Sophron. apud Philostr.] + + [Footnote 2: Mad. Deshoul. t. ii. ep. p. 104.] + + [Footnote 3: Div. Lec. de P. Messie, part ii. ch. 15.] + + [Footnote 4: Hofman, t. ii. 9 dissert. ch. 6.] + + [Footnote 5: Bocal, an Italian word, and signifies a pot or jug + holding about three pints.] + + [Footnote 6: Synopses Theolog. Pract.] + + [Footnote 7: Essays, lib. ii. cap. 2.] + + [Footnote 8: Satir.] + + [Footnote 9: Boileau.] + + [Footnote 10: The names of two jesuits, the former a famous + preacher, and the other as famous a casuist.] + + [Footnote 11: Esprit de Pat. p. 51.] + + [Footnote 12: Owen, Ep.] + [[John Owen (1564-1622): _possibly_ I.ii.42.]] + + [Footnote 13: + Qu’il faut a chaque mois. + Du moin s’enyvrer une fois. + Fureteriana.] + + + + +CHAP. IV. + +THAT OLD PEOPLE OUGHT TO GET DRUNK SOMETIMES. + + +Wine taken with some excess is excellent for old people. + + ---- Ubi jam validis quassatum est viribus ævi + Corpus et obtusis ceciderunt viribus artus[1]. + + When shaken by the powerful force of age + The body languid grows, and ev’ry joint + Its proper juice exhal’d, all feeble droops. + +And is not the reason plain? because it moistens their dry temperament, +and nourishes their radical moisture. Hence came the proverb, which +says, “That wine is the milk of old men[2].” Tirellus, in his history, +declares the same thing, when he says, “That wine is the nutriment of +natural heat[3].” Conformably to this truth that old man acted, of whom +Seneca makes mention, who being pressed to drink wine cooled in snow, +said, “That his age made him cold enough, and that he did not desire to +be more cold than he was[4].” Than which, certainly no answer could be +more just and true. + +Besides, the infirmities of an advanced age require some consolation and +diversion. Let us see what Montaigne says, who was not much given to +tippling; for he plainly says, that his gout and complexion were greater +enemies to drunkenness than his discourse. His words are these, “The +inconveniencies attending old age, which stand in need of some support +and refreshment, might with reason produce in me a desire of this +faculty, since it is as it were the last pleasure that the course of +years steals from us. The natural heat, say the boon companions, begins +first at the feet; this is the case of infancy; thence it ascends to the +middle region, where it continues a long while, and there produces in my +mind the only true pleasures of the corporal life; at last exhaling +itself like a vapour, it moves upwards, till it comes to the throat, +and there it makes its last little stay[5].” + +Athenæus, after Theophrastus, says, That wine drives away those irksome +inquietudes to which old people are unhappily subject[6]. And to +conclude, the divine Plato assures us, that, “Wine is a medicine as well +for the body as the mind, the dryness of old people have great occasion +for this kind of moistening, and their severe genius of the brisk gaiety +inspired by wine, without which they would not be able to perform their +part in the concert, and consequently would be no longer useful members +in the commonwealth, which is no other ways supported and preserved than +by harmony.” + + + [Footnote 1: Lucret. lib. iii.] + + [Footnote 2: Vinum lac senum.] + + [Footnote 3: Vina calidi innati pabula.] + + [Footnote 4: Ætas meo frigore contenta est.] + + [Footnote 5: Essays, lib. ii. cap. 2.] + + [Footnote 6: Lib. xi. cap. 7.] + + + + +CHAP. V. + +THAT WINE CREATES WIT. + + +As wine increases the quantity of animal spirits, by the fumes which it +sends to the brain, it is easy to comprehend that it cannot but be of +great advantage to dull and heavy wits; so that one may particularly +apply to them the common proverb, “Wine sets an edge to wit[1].” And the +emblem of Adr. Junius, in which he represents Bacchus as a youth with +wings on, and with this inscription, “Wine kindles wit[2],” agrees +admirably well with these people. But the application of both proverb +and emblem is no less just in relation to all the world; for it is most +certain, that the god Bacchus, by warming the thoughts, renders them +more acute, and inspires a greater plenty of witty sallies. For “Bacchus +had not the name of Lysian, or Opener, if I may use the term, bestowed +upon him for nothing but purely because he opens the mind, by putting it +into an agreeable humour, and renders it more subtile and judicious[3].” +For this reason it is grown into a proverb, That water-drinkers are not +near so knowing as those who drink wine[4]. + +Plutarch assures us, That wine collects and increases the powers of the +mind. He observes also, That it produces excellent effects on the minds +of persons, who, though naturally timid, want no penetration. Plato +maintains, as I have observed in the foregoing chapter, That wine warms +as well the mind as the body. Monsieur Hofman says a great deal more, +viz. That experience proves, that those climates which produce good +wine, produce also people that “have infinitely more wit than those of +the north, who drink nothing but beer. Gryllus believes, That the Greeks +were called fathers of wisdom, on account of the excellency of their +wine; and, that they lost their ancient lustre by reason of the Turks +rooting out their vines. The Heathens placed Pallas and Bacchus in the +same temple, to shew, that wine increased their wisdom, and that the +Gods were represented wiser than men, only because they drank nectar and +ambrosia.” + +In respect of poets the world was always so sensible of the necessity +they lay under, of having their imagination roused by wine, that nobody +ever had any good opinion of the productions of a poet that drank water, +that _Non est Dythyrambus si aquam bibat_; and wine was called the poets +great horse. “There never were any excellent poets,” says Mr. Bayle, +“that could versify, till after drinking pretty plentifully[5].” + +And if we believe Plato, “He could never open the gates of poesy till he +was a little beyond himself. The soul can speak nothing grand, or above +the common, if it be not somewhat agitated[6].” + +Horace[7], who knew by experience this truth, goes yet farther. + + Nulla placere diu, nec vivere carmina possint, + Quæ scribuntur aquæ potoribus. + + Poor water-drinkers sing an irksome tune, + Short-liv’d their numbers, and their airs jejune. + +Ovid bewailed himself very bitterly for want of wine in his exile. + + “Impetus ille sacer, qui vatum pectora nutrit + Qui prius in nobis esse solebat, abest.”[7a] + + That sacred rage that feeds a poet’s breast, + Common to me, is now no more possest. + +La Motte[8], my beloved Frenchman, has something not unlike it. + + “Loin une raison trop timide + Les froids poetes qu’elle guide + Languissent et tombent souvent. + Venez yvresse temeraire, + Transports ignorez du vulgaire + Tels que vous m’agitiez vivant.” + + Away, too fearful reason, haste, be gone, + Those frozen poets, whom thy phantoms guide, + Languish, and often feebly slide, + Down to the lowest ebb of wretchless song, + Insipid notes, and lifeless numbers sing. + O come, sweet drunkenness, thou heady thing, + With transports to the vulgar herd unknown, + Which agitates my soul, and gives it wing. + With kind enthusiasms then ecstatic grown, + It takes unusual flights, sublimely soars, + Spurns the dull globe below, and endless worlds explores. + +One may very well apply to Bacchus, what the same gentleman says of the +graces in this ode[9]. + + “Tout fleurit par vous au Parnasse, + Apollon languit, et nous glace, + Sitot que vous l’avez quitté, + Mieux que les traits les plus sublimes + Vous allez verser sur mes rimes + Le don de l’immortalité. + + The sprightly influence you shed, + Bright constellation! makes Parnassus gay. + Apollo droops and hangs his head, + His frozen fingers know not how to play; + And we his sons the sad distemper find, + Which chills the fancy, and benumbs the mind, + When cruel you withdraw your magic ray. + You finely paint on ev’ry rhyme + Features most noble and sublime, + Resplendent all the images, + In rich immortal draperies. + You give me colours that can never die, + But baffle time, and live through all eternity. + +It is to wine we owe the productions of Eschylus and Anacreon, whose +muses were very chilly, till Bacchus warmed them. Aurelius, the sophist, +composed his best declamations in his cups. Herodes, called Saginatus +Orator, the fattened Orator, never talked better, than after drinking +pretty plentifully. And according to Horace, this was the case with +Ennius. + + “Ennius ipse pater nunquam nisi potus ad arma + Prosiluit dicenda ------------ [10].” + + Ennius himself ne’er sung of arms, + Martial exploits and wars alarms, + Till the good father’s face did shine, + Enrich’d with ruby beams of wine. + +Alcæus, the famous poet, never sat down to compose tragedy till he was +tipsy. The disciples of the great Paracelsus took the opportunity, when +he was fuddled, to make him dictate. The venerable Messire Francis +Rabelais composed over the bottle the acts and jests of Gargantua, +and his son Pantagruel, a work which gained him such great reputation. +“Pontius de Thiard, bishop of Chalons sur Saone, had greater obligations +to Bacchus than Apollo for his good verses; who, not reckoning what wine +he drank all day long, never slept without drinking a pretty large +bottle[11].” So true is it, that + + “A la fontaine ou s’enyvre Boileau + Le grand Corneille et le sacré troupeau + De ces auteurs que l’on ne trouve guere + Un bon rimeur doit boire a pleine éguyere, + S’il veut donner un bon tour au rondeau[12].” + + At that rich fountain where the great Boileau, + Corneille, Racine, to whom so much we owe, + Th’ immortal Dryden, and the sacred band + Of those bright authors, whom we cannot find, + Whose names, (so does oblivion’s power command,) + Alas! we no where know, + Supp’d largely to inebriate their mind. + Here a good versifier, fond of rhime, + Should swill, to make his jingling couplets chime. + + From hence, good natur’d B----d, arose your flame, + Hence your inimitable numbers came, + When you so prais’d his house and Buckingham. + +And certainly Cicero was much in the wrong, when he said, that “what +people do when they are drunk, is not done with the same approbation as +if they were sober; they hesitate, and often recall themselves, and +frame a weaker judgment of what they see[13].” But had he consulted +experience, he would have found that drunkenness, far from making people +fearful, inspires them with boldness and temerity. + + + [Footnote 1: Vinum acuit ingenium.] + + [Footnote 2: Vinum ingenii fomes.] + + [Footnote 3: Hist. des. vii. sag. p. 123.] + + [Footnote 4: Non idem sapere possunt qui aquam et qui vinum + bibunt.] + + [Footnote 5: Resp. aux Quest. d’un Prov. t. i. ch. 12.] + + [Footnote 6: Sive Platoni credimus, frustra poetices fores compos + sui pepulit. Non potest grande aliquid et supra cæteros loqui nisi + mota mens.] + + [Footnote 7: 1 Ep. xix. 3.] + + [[Footnote 7a: Ovid, _Ex Ponto_ IV.ii.25-26.]] + + [Footnote 8: La Motte, Ode Pind. 1.] + + [Footnote 9: Ode 2. Pindar.] + + [Footnote 10: Ep. xix. 7.] + + [Footnote 11: Menagiana, t. i. p. 384.] + + [Footnote 12: ---- p. 189.] + + [Footnote 13: Ne vinolenti quidem quæ faciunt qua’ sobrii, + hesitant, revocant se interdum, usque quæ videntur, imbecillius + assentiuntur. Acad. Quest. lib. 4.] + + + + +CHAP. VI. + +THAT WINE MAKES ONE ELOQUENT. + + + What wretch so dull, but eloquent must grow, + When the full goblets with persuasive wine, + Inebriate with bright eloquence divine? + + Fæcundi calices quem non fecere disertum?[a] + +Let us make a few commentaries on this verse of Horace. + +We read, that “the sages of Portugal having undertaken to convert those +of Melinda, gained as much upon them by wine as by reason, which, in the +end, facilitated the conquest of the whole country[1].” + +To draw a consequence from this, we say, That one must reasonably +believe, that wine gave those sages an eloquence necessary to convert +the people of Melinda, and them a necessary penetration to discover the +truth through the thick veils of their ignorance. + +Books of travels farther inform us, that “the priests of the kingdom of +Tibet, whom they call Lamas, drink a good quantity of wine on their days +of fasting and devotion, that they may have, to use their own words, the +tongue prompt and ready to say their orisons[2].” + +According to this doctrine, Palingenius was much in the wrong to say, +that wine makes churchmen uncapable to perform the duties of their +function. + + Nec bene tractabit vinosus sacra sacerdos[3]. + + No priest, who tipples wine that’s good, + Will do his duty as he should. + +Surely our author never conversed much with the religious. The friers +would have told him, they never perform their office without taking a +choir cup. Experto crede Roberto, as the saying is. There is no false +Latin in this, says a good monk to me once upon a time, drawing from +under his cassock a double flask. You are much in the right on’t, +brother Peter, said I, I believe as the church believes, and so--my +service to you, and here’s to the pious memory of St. Boniface. And +indeed the vehicle proved capaciously orthodox. + +In relation to what hath been said I shall add a remark of the famous +M. Bayle. “It cannot be denied,” says he, “that the christians of Europe +are subject to two great vices, drunkenness and lewdness. The first of +these reigns in cold countries, the other in hot. Bacchus and Venus +share these two climates between them. We find that the reformation +having divided this portion of christianity, that part which was subject +to Venus continues as it was, but the greatest part of what was subject +to Bacchus has renounced popery[4].” + +But you will say, what coherence has this remark with the matter in +question? Have a little patience, and you shall presently see the +application. I say then, that a thorough true blue hearty Protestant +would conclude from this quotation, that wine bestowed so much eloquence +and penetration to these northern people, as to put them into that happy +state, to discover the truth, and conquer all prejudices against it +whatsoever. But of this enough. + + Pon, pon; pata pon: tara rara, pon pon[5]. + + + [[Footnote a: Horace, _Epistulae_ I.v.19. (_Same passage as note + 2:9b._)]] + + [Footnote 1: Rem. sur Rabel. t. i. lib. 1. cap. 5.] + + [Footnote 2: Divers. cur.] + + [Footnote 3: Lib. iii. p. m. 43.] + + [Footnote 4: Bayle Dict. t. ii. p. 1163.] + + [Footnote 5: Racine.] + + + + +CHAP. VII. + +THAT WINE ACQUIRES FRIENDS, AND RECONCILES ENEMIES. + + +Friendship is a good so precious and valuable, and at the same time so +very rare, that one cannot take too much care in order to procure it. +The most efficacious means to do this is feasting. It is by eating and +drinking together that conversation becomes more easy and familiar; and, +to use the words of Monsieur de la Mothe le vayer, “We hold, that table +communion unites people’s very souls, and causes the strictest +friendships.” Unde Philotetius Crater[1]. And, in reality, can any thing +be more agreeable and engaging, than to take a friendly bottle in +pleasant and delightful company? + +And therefore Cleomedes had great reason to say, “Take away the +pleasures of the table, where we open ourselves so agreeably to each +other, and you rob us of the sweetest cordial of human life[2].” This +was also the sentiment of Cicero, in his Book of old Age; of Aristotle, +in his Ethics; and Plutarch, in his Questions. Let who will, then, look +on trencher friends to be false, and say with those of whom Ovid makes +mention, + + Dum fueris felix multos numerabis amicos, + Tempora si fuerint nubila, solus eris.[2a] + + In happy times, while riches round you flow, + A thousand friends their obligations own, + But when loud adverse winds begin to blow, + And darksome clouds appear, you’re left alone. + +Daily experience teaches us, that one of the best means to push one’s +fortune, is often to regale with those who are in credit; for, to one +that may have ruined himself by so doing, ten have made their fortunes. +We may therefore say of entertainments, that, + + Hæc res et jungit, et junctos servat amicos.[2b] + + These unite friends, and strictly keep them so. + +But what is more, wine does the office of a mediator between enemies. +Of which truth I shall instance two illustrious examples, M. Crassus +reconciled himself to Cicero at a feast; Asdrubal and Scipio did the +same on the like occasion. And one may see, in a description which a +very learned person[3] has given of Switzerland, that when the +inhabitants of that country quarrel with one another, and come to blows, +they are immediately reconciled, by returning to their cups, and no harm +ensues, but sitting up all night, and amicably getting drunk together. +The Latin has more force in it, which I shall therefore here transcribe. +_Quin et si quando vehementius in se insurgunt, depositis in medium +armis, pugnis rem manibusque decernunt, sed eodem momento conveniunt, +iisdemque epulis, iisdemque poculis à quibus surrexere conciliantibus; +et nullo alio ex contentionibus damno, nisi quod innovata pocula in +noctem ducantur._ + +Tacitus had said the same thing long before of the Germans. + +But to come nearer. The bishop of Bitonto, one of the fathers of the +Council of Trent, and a famous preacher, frequently in his sermons, +exhorting the Germans to unity, and to return to the church, made use of +this topic of friendly drinking, conjuring them thereto as undoubtedly, +by the strongest, and most efficacious argument he could make use of, +by remembering how merry and sociable heretofore they had been in their +cups. + + + [Footnote 1: Dial. 2. d’Or, Tuber. p. m. 118.] + + [Footnote 2: Hist. 7 Sap.] + + [[Footnote 2a: Ovid, _Tristia_ I.ix.5-6. + _First line is more often read as_ + Donec eris sospes (_or_ felix) ...]] + + [[Footnote 2b: Horace, _Satire_ I.iii.54.]] + + [Footnote 3: Dan. Eremit. Descript. p. 416.] + + + + +CHAP. VIII. + +THAT THE CUSTOM OF GETTING DRUNK IS MOST ANCIENT. + + +After having displayed the good qualities of wine and drunkenness, +I come now to shew, that it is generally received by all the world. To +do this effectually I shall enter into some particular detail, and after +having remarked, _en passant_, how the custom of fuddling is very +ancient, I shall then shew, that the primitive christians used to get +drunk: I shall speak something of the tippling of churchmen in general, +afterwards I shall take a cursory review of popes, saints, and bishops, +then I shall come to kings and emperors, and give a small catalogue of +these illustrious topers; I shall not forget the philosophers, and much +less the poets, who loved drinking. Freemasons, and other learned men, +who after having wearied themselves with important studies have taken +this diversion, shall also appear upon the stage. After this I shall +enumerate the several nations that have been, and those which yet are +subject to get fuddled; whether they make use of wine for that purpose, +or such liquors as produce the same effect with wine. And from this +enumeration I shall draw some consequences in favour of drunkenness. + +But before I enter into this detail, I hope I shall be permitted a +general remark, which is, that my readers must not expect I should set +down a complete list of all the several sorts of topers I just now +mentioned; such an exactitude would take up too much time. Much sooner +may one reckon up what numbers die away every spring by the doctor; +and how many dispose of their maidenheads before marriage. + +In every different class you will find no other jolly drinkers, but such +as I have met with in my great reading, and as shall occur to my +remembrance. Neither shall I be very scrupulous in placing them +according to the strict rules of chronology, but put them down as they +present themselves to my imagination. + +If the antiquity of a custom makes it always good and laudable, +certainly drunkenness can never deserve sufficient recommendation. Every +one knows, that Noah got drunk after he had planted the vine. There are +some who pretend to excuse him, that he was not acquainted with the +strength of wine. But to this it may very well be answered, that it is +not very probable so wise a man as Noah should plant a vine without +knowing its nature and property. Besides, it is one thing to know, +whether he got drunk at all: and another, whether he had an intention to +do so. + +But if we give any credit to several learned persons, Noah was not the +first man that got fuddled. Father Frassen maintains, “That people fed +on flesh before the flood, and drank wine. There is no likelihood, +according to him, that men contented themselves with drinking water for +fifteen or sixteen hundred years together. It is much more credible, +that they prepared a drink more nourishing and palatable. These first +men of the world were endued with no less share of wit than their +posterity, and, consequently, wanted no industry to invent every thing +that might contribute to make them pass their lives agreeably. Jesus +Christ says, that in the days of Noah, before the Flood, men married, +and gave their children in marriage. These people, Father Frassen +observes, regaled each other, and made solemn entertainments. Now who +can imagine, that they drank at those festivals nothing but water, and +fed only on fruits and herbs! Noah, therefore, was not the inventor of +that use which we make of the grape; the most that he did, was only to +plant new vines[1].” + +This good father was not singular in his opinion; another very learned +person also believed, that from the passage of Scripture above cited, +one might draw a very probable argument, that men before the flood drank +wine, and that too even to be drunk[2]. + +As for Procopius of Gaza[3], one of the most ancient interpreters of +Scripture, he thinks it no less true, that the vine was known in the +world before Noah’s time, but he does not allow that the use of wine was +known before that patriarch, whom he believes to be the inventor of it. + + + [Footnote 1: Disq. Biblic. Journ. des Sçavans.] + + [Footnote 2: Jo. Chr. Becman. Annal. Hist.] + + [Footnote 3: Torner de Ebriet. lib. i. c. 3.] + + + + +CHAP. IX. + +THAT THE PRIMITIVE CHRISTIANS GOT DRUNK. + + +There is no one that has ever so little dipped into ecclesiastical +history, but knows very well, that in the primitive church it was a +custom to appoint solemn feasts on the festivals of martyrs. This +appears by the harangue of Constantine, and from the works of St. +Gregory Nazianzen, and St. Chrysostom. People generally got drunk at +these feasts; and this excess was looked upon as a thing that might be +permitted. This evidently appears by the pathetic complaints of St. +Augustin and St. Cyprian: the former of these holy fathers expresses +himself after this manner:---- “Drunken debauches pass as permitted +amongst us, so that people turn them into solemn feasts, to honour +the memory of the martyrs; and that not only on those days which are +particularly consecrated to them, (which would be a deplorable abuse +to those, who look at these things with other eyes than those of the +flesh,) but on every day of the year[1].” + +St. Cyprian, in a treatise attributed to him, says much the same thing. +“Drunkenness, says he, is so common with us in Africa, that it scarce +passes for a crime. And do we not see Christians forcing one another to +get drunk, to celebrate the memory of the martyrs[2]!” + +But it was not only at these repasts that the Christians got drunk, they +did the same on several other occasions; and it was on this account that +St. Augustin wrote to his dear Alipius in these terms: “However the +corruption of manners, and the unhappiness of the times, have induced us +to wish, I do not say that people should not get drunk in particular +houses, but that they should not get drunk any where else[3].” + +Cardinal du Perron tells us, “That the Manichæans said, that the +Catholicks were people much given to wine, but that they never drank +any[4].” + +Against this charge St. Augustin no otherwise defends them, than by +recrimination. He answers, “That it was true, but that they (the +Manichæans) drank the juice of apples, which was more delicious than all +the wines and liquors in the world. And so does Tertullian, which liquor +pressed from apples, he says, was most strong and vinous.” His words +are, _Succum ex pomis vinosissimum_[5]. + +Here one may observe also, that the use of cider was very primitive and +antient, but as strong and delicious as it was, the Catholicks stuck +close to the juice of the grape, as what was entirely orthodox and no +wise conversant with the heretics of those days. + +But to return to these feasts just now mentioned, it is certain, that it +was not only customary for the Christians of Africa to get drunk. They +had this custom in common with the Christians of Italy, where these +kinds of repasts were forbidden by the Council of Laodicea, which was +held in the fourth century. Paulinus, however, (and I do not wonder at +it, being a poet,) has endeavoured to excuse the Christians, on pretence +that they only got drunk out of a good intention, which, say the +casuists, judges all human actions[6]. His words are, + + ---- “Ignoscenda tamen puto talia parvis + Gaudia quæ ducunt epulis, quia mentibus error. + Irrepit rudibus, nec tantæ conscia culpæ + Simplicitas pietate cadit, male credula sanctos + Perfusis halante mero gaudere sepulchris.[6a] + + But yet that mirth in little feasts enjoy’d, + I think should ready absolution find; + Slight peccadillo of an erring mind, + Artless and rude, of all disguises void, + Their simple hearts too easy to believe + (Conscious of nothing ill) that saints in tombs + Enshrin’d should any happiness perceive + From quaffing cups, and wines ascending fumes, + Must be excus’d, since what they did they meant, + With piety ill plac’d, yet good intent. + + + [Footnote 1: Ep. 22.] + + [Footnote 2: Pamel. p. 416.] + + [Footnote 3: Ep. 29.] + + [Footnote 4: Perron, p. 64.] + + [Footnote 5: Ibid.] + + [Footnote 6: Quicquid agunt homines intentio judicat omne.] + + [[Footnote 6a: St. Paulinus of Nola (Paulinus Nolensis), + _possibly_ Carmen IX. in St. Felicem.]] + + + + +CHAP. X. + +OF CHURCHMEN. + + +If one formed a judgment of the manner of Churchmen’s lives by their +discourses, certainly one would take them for models of sobriety. But +there is a great deal of difference between preaching and practising. +This distinction is very solid, and daily experience confirms it. And if +those gentlemen would do themselves justice, how many amongst them might +say in particular, + + Alas! how can I ever dare pretend, + From man this ancient error to remove, + Which they, ev’n to distraction, fondly love: + If I, who blame it, with such pain defend + Myself from this contagious malady, + This epidemic poison of the mind. + Weak reason, feeble thing, of which mankind + So boasts, this we can only build on thee, + Unjust continuing still, and false and vain, + In our discourses loudly we complain + Against the passions, weakness, vice, and yet + Those things we still cry down, we still commit. + +One cannot, therefore, without indignation, hear Churchmen declaim +against drunkenness, while they themselves are such ruddy examples +of it. + + _Quis tulerit Gracchos de seditione quærentes._[1] + + With patience who can hear west-country cudden + Rail against roasted beef and good plum pudden? + +If the law of prescription take place, one cannot dispute with them that +of fuddling with any colour of reason, for in St. Jerom’s time, the +priests were very much given to wine. This we learn from an epistle of +that father, in which he very severely reprehends them. They have been +no changelings since. We read in the adages of Erasmus, that it was a +proverb amongst the Germans, that the lives of the monks consisted in +nothing but eating, drinking, and----Monachorum nunc nihil aliud est +quam facere, esse, bibere. Besides, a vast number of councils, who made +most severe canons against priests that should get drunk, evidently +shew, that they used frequently to do so. Such were the Councils of +Carthage, Agathon, the first of Tours, that of Worms, Treves, &c. To +make this more clear, we shall copy a little of what H. Stephens says on +this subject, in his apology for Herodotus:-- “But to return, says he, +to these proverbs, theologal wine, and the abbots, or prelates table. +I say, that without these, one could never rightly understand this +beautiful passage of Horace, viz. + + “Nunc est bibendum, nunc pede libero + Pulsanda tellus: Nunc saliaribus + Ornare pulvinar Deorum + Tempus erit dapibus sodales.”[1a] + + “Come, boys, lets put the flowing goblet round, + Drink hard, and with brisk measures beat the ground. + The tables of the gods now bright shall shine + With cheer luxurious, fit for mouths of priests, + When holy epicures become your guests, + And venerably quaff large cups of wine.” + +Nor this other, + + “Absumet hæres cæcuba dignior + Servata centum clavibus: & mero + Tinget pavimentum superbo + Pontificum potiore cænis.”[1b] + + “A worthy heir shall then with joy unbind + Cæcubian, by a hundred locks confin’d, + And tinge with better wines the ground, + Than e’er at feasts pontifical are found.” + +“You see how necessary these proverbs are, to let us into the true +understanding of these two passages of this poet. Here follows, word for +word, what a certain gloss says of the last of them, _Mero dicit potiore +(meliore) cænis pontificum, quam quo pontifices in cænis suis, quæ +semper sumtuosissimæ fuerunt, unde nunc theologicum dicunt vinum, usi +sunt_. That is, with better wine than that which the chief priests used +at their suppers, which were always most sumptuous and expensive, and +which sort of wine we call now theological. + +“By this you plainly see how much attached to divines and prelates those +gentlemen are who make profession of being expositors of the poets. But +in relation to this same theologal, or theological, I know very well +that it is a great question if it should be called _vinum theologale_, +or _vinum theologalis per appositionem_; for the wicked laity, some of +them will have it, that when these good men get tipsy they agree no +otherwise than dogs and cats. But I shall leave this dispute to be +decided by the readers. And as to these two proverbs, they put me in +mind of another, and that is, an abbot’s face, which proverb being very +ancient, makes me believe that formerly the abbots had their faces +illuminated. --But without going any farther for witnesses, I shall +content myself with presenting my readers with the following piece of +antiquity, viz. + + “Sanctus Dominicus sit nobis semper amicus, + Cui canimus rostro jugiter preconia nostro + De cordis venis siccatis ante lagenis. + Ergo tuas laudes si tu nos pangere gaudes + Tempore paschali, fac ne potu puteali + Conveniat uti, quod si fit undique muti + Semper erunt fratres qui non curant nisi ventres.” + + “O good Saint Dominic, be ay propitious, + Whose praise we daily chirp in notes delicious + From all the veins of all our hearts, + Having toss’d up some double quarts. + Therefore, if’t be thy true desire, + We chaunt thy lauds at Easter quire. + Let not thy saintship think it meet + We drink from well tho’ ne’er so sweet, + Liquor unworthy priest or parson, + If so, your friers will hang an arse on, + Who nothing mind, I need not tell ye, + Most holy patron, but their belly. + So used, they’ll ev’ry soul be dumb, + No _dixit dominus_, but -------- mum.” + +Not unlike this is what follows:-- + + “O monachi, vestri stomachi sunt amphora Bacchi, + Vos estis, Deus est testis, teterrima pestis!” + + “O monks, ye reverend drones, your guts + Of wine are but so many buts; + You are, God knows (who can abide ye?) + Of plagues the rankest, _bona fide_!” + + + [Footnote 1: Juvenal.] [[_Satire_ II. 24.]] + + [[Footnote 1a: Horace, _Odes_ I.xxxvii.1-4.]] + + [[Footnote 1b: Horace, _Odes_ II.xiv.25-28.]] + + + + +CHAP. XI. + +OF POPES, SAINTS, AND BISHOPS, THAT USED TO GET DRUNK. + + +After having spoken of the drunkenness of churchmen in general, it will +not, perhaps, be a thing altogether needless, to put the whole in the +clearest light, to confirm what has been said, by the example of Popes, +Saints, and Bishops, who have practised that laudable custom of getting +drunk. + +A little song, mentioned by H. Stephens, in his apology for Herodotus, +affords matter of speculation in relation to the sobriety of sovereign +pontiffs. + + “Le Pape qui est a Rome, + Boit du vin comme un autre homme + Et de l’Hypocras aussi.” + + The Pope at Rome, his holiness, + Of wine drinks many a hearty glass, + And pleasant Hypocras also, + As any other man I trow. + +If one reads over the popes lives, we shall be fully convinced that +these holy fathers were no enemies to wine. Alexander the Fifth was a +great drinker, and that too of strong wines, says his own historian, +Theoderic de Neim. If one may give any credit to the letters of the king +of Spain’s ambassador to his master, Sixtus Quintus was a terrible +drunkard[1]. + +And Pope Boniface instituted indulgencies for those who should drink a +cup after grace (called since St. Boniface’s cup). A plain argument that +his sanctity did not hate wine. + +This puts me in my mind of what I have formerly read, though the +author’s name is now slipped out of my memory, that when cardinal +Pignatelli, afterwards Innocent the Twelfth, was advanced to the papacy, +his name signifying little pots or mugs, three of which he bore for his +arms; and whose mother was of the house of Caraffa, which signifies a +jug, a Frenchman made these lines:-- + + “Nous devons tous boire en repos + Sous le regne de ce saint pere + Son nom ses armes sont des pots + Une Caraffe etoit sa mere. + Celebrons donc avec eclat + Cet auguste Pontificat.” + + Under this holy father’s reign + Hang sorrow, let us ne’er complain; + I think all of us should turn sots, + And fuddle with one another, + His name, and so his arms, are pots, + And a gallon pot was his mother; + Then let us brightly celebrate + This most august Pontificate. + +In the main, this is nothing but a little punning or playing with words, +but it is one of those agreeable trifles that may now and then be worth +our thinking on. + +One may add to the number of such popes as loved fuddling, all those who +sat at Avignon; for if we believe Petrarch[2], the long residence that +the court of Rome made at Avignon, was only to taste the good French +wines; and that it was merely on that account they stayed so long in +Provence, and removed with so much reluctance. + +Let us now pass on to Saints and Bishops. I shall only instance one of +each, because I hate prolixity. The first Saint that presents himself to +me, is the renowned St. Augustin, who himself owns, that he used to get +drunk sometimes. _Crapula autem nonnunquam surrepit servo tuo +misereberis ut longe fiat à me._ Thy servant has been sometimes +crop-sick through excess of wine, have mercy on me, that it may be ever +far from me. It is true, [3]M. Cousin maintains against my author, +M. Petit, the Journal des Sçavans, of the year 1689, 27th June, that St. +Augustin, however, never got drunk. The arguments on both sides you may +find in Bayle’s Dictionary, under the article Augustin. But yet there +are somewhere in St. Augustin these words, viz. My soul certainly being +a spirit cannot dwell in a dry place. _Anima mea certè quia spiritus +est, in sicco habitare non potest._ + +I shall make no comment upon these words, only insert one already made, +which I take from M. Duchat in his Remarks on Rabelais[4]. On these +words of Saint Augustin, says he, mentioned in the second part of the +Decretals, caus. 32, q. 2, c. 9, the commentator says, “And this is an +argument for the Normans, English, and Poles, that they may drink +largely, that the soul may not live in the dry. _Et est argumentum pro +Normannis, Anglicis, et Polonis, ut possint fortiter bibere, ne anima +habitet in sicco._ To which Peter Chatelain, a Flemish physician, made +this pleasant addition, It is very probable, that the commentator was an +entire stranger to the nature of the Flemings. _Verisimile est +glossatorem ignorasse naturam Belgarum._” + +And, perhaps, this argument from St. Augustine’s words, is as just as +one of a merry fellow I knew, who would prove, from St. Paul’s going to +the Three Taverns[5], That he loved a hearty bottle. + +Amongst the Bishops, I cannot instance a more illustrious example of a +great drinker than that of Pontus de Thiard. We are told[6], “That this +gentleman, after having repented of the sins of his youth, came to be +bishop of Chalons sur Soane; but, however, he did not renounce the power +of drinking heartily, which seemed then inseparable from the quality of +a good poet. He had a stomach big enough to empty the largest cellar; +and the best wines of Burgundy were too gross for the subtility of the +fire which devoured him. Every night, at going to bed, besides the +ordinary doses of the day, in which he would not suffer the least drop +of water, he used to drink a bottle before he slept. He enjoyed a +strong, robust, and vigorous health; to the age of fourscore. + + + [Footnote 1: Thuan. p. 447.] + + [Footnote 2: Perron, p. 387.] + + [Footnote 3: Petit Nepænth, p. 137.] + + [Footnote 4: Liv. i. ch. 5.] + + [Footnote 5: Acts, cap. xxviii. v. 15.] + + [Footnote 6: Rep. des Lett. Febr. 1687, art. 7.] + + + + +CHAP. XII. + +A CATALOGUE OF SOME ILLUSTRIOUS TOPERS. + + +Since, according to Horace’s observation, every one conforms himself to +the example of the prince. + + “Regis ad exemplum totus componitur orbis.”[a] + +And that, according to Seneca’s maxim, one must regulate one’s conduct +by illustrious models. + + “Vita est instituenda illustribus exemplis.” + +It must not be wondered at that people so generally get drunk, since in +this they follow the examples of great kings, amongst whom are very few +that this verse of Ovid, which Guy Patin applied to Naudæus and +Gassendi, agrees with[1]. + + “Vina fugit gaudetque meris abstemius undis.”[1a] + + Flies wine abstemious, but the limpid stream, + Pure and unmixed, his thirsty heat subdues. + +And, perhaps, this is the reason, why in comedies they bestow crowns to +those that are drunk. + + ---------- Quid ego video + PS. Cum coronâ ebrium pseudolum meum[2]. + +And in Amphytrion, Mercury says, + + Ibo inter et capiam ornatum qui potius decet.[2a] + +“I’ll go in and take the ornament which better becomes me.” For he had +said a little before, + + Capiam coronam in caput, assimulabo me esse ebrium.[2a] + + I’ll put a crown upon my head, and feign myself drunk. + +Lipsius[3] furnished me with these examples. + +But I should never have done, if I endeavoured to give a list of all the +kings that got drunk. + + -------- “Quorum si nomina quæras + Promptius expediam quot amaverat Hippia mæchos, + Quot themison ægros autumno occiderat uno[4].” + + -------- Whose names, if you require, + With greater expedition could I tell, + To Hippia’s lust how many prostrate fell; + How many only in one autumn died, + By doctors, and their slip-slops ill applied. + +I shall content myself, therefore, to instance some of the most +illustrious, as they come into my mind, without observing any certain +order. + +Alexander the Great first offers himself to my imagination. It will be +sufficient to mention his name, without saying any more. _Nomen non +amplius addam._ + +Cæsar, to make use of Balzac’s words, was not always the sober destroyer +of the commonwealth, and he did not at all times hate the pleasure of +drinking. + +Cambyses was also very much given to wine, as may be judged by what I am +going to say. This prince, having been told by one of his courtiers, +That the people took notice he got drunk too often, taking, some time +after, his bow and arrow, shot the son of that courtier through the +heart, saying no more than this to the father, Is this the act of a +drunkard? + +Darius, the first king of Persia, had these words put upon his tomb:-- + + Vinum multum bibere potui idque perferre. + + I could drink much wine and bear it well. + +King Antigonus may come in here. Ælian reports of this prince, That one +day when he was much in drink, meeting Zeno the philosopher, whom he had +a great kindness for, he kissed him, and promised to give him whatever +he would desire. Zeno only answered very mildly, Go and ease your +stomach by vomiting, that’s all I ask of you at present. + +Philip, king of Macedon, got drunk sometimes; witness what a woman, whom +he had not done justice to, said to him, viz. I appeal from Philip +drunk, to Philip when sober. + +Dionysius[5] the younger, tyrant of Sicily, was sometimes drunk for nine +days successively; he drank himself almost blind, and the lords of his +court, to flatter him, pretended they themselves could scarce see, so +that they neither eat nor drank but what he reached to them. + +Tiberius was called Biberius, because of his excessive attachment to +drinking; and, in derision, they changed his surname of Nero into Mero. + +Bonosus was a terrible drinker, if one may give any credit to his own +historian, Flavius Vopiscus. He used to make ambassadors, that came to +him from foreign powers, drunk, in order, by that means, to discover +their secret instructions. + +Maximin[6], the father, drank very often a pot containing two gallons. +One might very well, therefore, have given him this epitaph:-- + + Hic jacet amphora vini. + +Trajan and Nerva, those excellent princes, took sometimes a pleasure in +getting drunk. + +Galerius Maximinus, who, according to Aurelius Victor, was a prince of +sweet temper, and loved men of probity and letters, had a very great +passion for wine, and frequently got drunk. Having once given orders +when he was in this condition, which he repented of when sober, he +solemnly forbad any one to obey such orders that he should give when he +should get drunk for the future. + + [[Footnote a: Claudian, _De Quarto Consulatu Honorii Augusti_ + (VIII) 300.]] + + [Footnote 1: Esprit de Pat. p. 22.] + + [[Footnote 1a: Ovid, _Metamosphoses_ XV.323.]] + + [Footnote 2: Plautus.] [[_Pseudolus_ 1286-87.]] + + [[Footnote 2a: Plautus, _Amphitryon_ 1007; _Amphitryon_ 999.]] + + [Footnote 3: Ant. Lect. lib. iii.] + + [Footnote 4: Juvenal, satire x. v. 220.] [[i.e. 219-221.]] + + [Footnote 5: Ælian, chap. 6.] + + [Footnote 6: J. Capitolin.] + + + + +CHAP. XIII. + +OF PHILOSOPHERS THAT USED TO GET DRUNK. + + +Though the example and authority of Philosophers prove nothing, yet one +must not imagine with Boileau, + + “---------------- Que sans Aristote, + La raison ne voit goute, et le bon sens redote.” + + That reason, void of Aristotle’s rule, + Insipid grows, good sense a doating fool. + +It is, however, very true, that we shall find ourselves wonderfully +disposed to get fuddled, when we consider that those of antiquity, +for whom we have most respect and veneration, have made no manner of +difficulty to get drunk sometimes, and have praised drunkenness not only +by their actions but discourse. This I am going plainly to make appear. +I begin with the Seven Sages of Greece, who were acknowledged as such by +all antiquity. These philosophers did not look upon drunkenness as a +thing incompatible with virtue, of which they made strict profession. +History tells us, that they drank largely at the entertainment Periander +the Tyrant, or king of Corinth, gave them. + +Solon, that famous, yet so rigid, legislator of the Athenians, composed +a song in the praise of wine, in which he introduced Venus and the +Muses. Seneca is of opinion, that he was suspected to be as much given +to wine as Arcesilaus. And M. Chevreau[1] observes very well, that “The +wisdom of Solon was not of such an austerity as to frighten people, when +he said, That the ladies, wine, and the Muses, were the pleasures of +human life.” + +Zeno, whose philosophy was so severe, got, notwithstanding, drunk +sometimes. Being one day at an entertainment, he was asked how he came +to be so joyful, he answered, that he was like lupins, which were bitter +naturally, but grew sweet after they were moistened. + +Socrates, whom the oracle declared the wisest man of Greece, was, in +like manner, a very great drinker. M. Charpentier, in his Life, tells +us, That though he did not love to drink, yet when he was forced to it, +no one could come up to him; and that he had this wonderful happiness, +as not afterwards to find himself incommoded by it. + +Cato, that hero of stoicism, got drunk sometimes, in order to relax his +mind, fatigued with the cares of public employment. These are the very +words of Seneca, Cato _vino laxabat animum curis publicis fatigatum_. +And the same author says elsewhere, that “People reproached Cato with +drunkenness, but that reproach was rather an honour to him than +otherwise.” _Catoni ebrietas objecta est, et facilius efficiet quisquis +objecerit honestum quam turpem Catonem._ Horace gives us the same idea +of the great Cato, in these words:-- + + “Narratur et prisci Catonis + Sæpe mero caluisse virtus.”[1a] + + Tradition tells, that oftentimes with wine, + Ev’n Cato’s virtue moisten’d, shone divine. + +If one knew the Scythian philosopher Anacharsis no otherwise than by his +apophthegms against wine and drunkenness, one would take him for the +soberest man in the world, but we know very well that his theory varied +very much upon this point, and no way agreed with his practice. One day +above the rest, having got drunk at an entertainment given by Lybis, +brother to Pittacus, he demanded the prize that was to be given to the +greatest drinker. With which action, when he was afterwards reproached, +he replied, “Can a man better signalize himself in battle than by +glorious wounds? and at table, than with that gaiety you call +drunkenness? Did not Homer, the wisest of your poets, make not only +Agamemnon drunk, but Jupiter too, and made nectar flow in full goblets +at the table of the Gods[2]?” Ælian[3] also tells us, that this +philosopher drank largely at Periander’s feasts, and alleged for an +excuse, That to drink a great deal was essential to the Scythians. + +Plato, another hero of antiquity, not only permitted, but commanded, +that people should get drunk at some certain times. To prove what I say, +one has no more to do than to read his laws. + +Seneca, who was so severe a philosopher, at least his rigid precepts +would make one think him so, thought it no harm now and then to get +drunk, and ranges drunkenness amongst the means he prescribes to +maintain the strength and vigour of the mind. I have quoted what he says +in this respect in the first and second chapter of this work. + +The philosopher Arcesilaus, who lived about the 120th Olympiad, might be +reckoned amongst those who loved wine, since he died by drinking too +much of it unmixed. A greater, and more convincing proof of his sincere +love to the creature could not be given. + + For he that hangs, or beats out’s brains, + The devil’s in him if he feigns[4]. + +Xenocrates[5], one of the most illustrious philosophers of ancient +Greece, and of a virtue very rigid and severe, got drunk sometimes. +Ælian has put his name into the catalogue of those who loved drinking, +and could bear a good deal of liquor. Athenæus, says this philosopher, +gained the crown of gold which the tyrant of Syracuse had promised him +that should empty a certain measure of wine. Diogenes Laertius confirms +this last particular. “He had moreover acquired such an empire over his +passions, that a very beautiful courtesan (Phryne) who had laid a wager +she could subdue his virtue, lost it, though she had the liberty to lie +with him, and use all her little toyings to incite him to enjoy her.” +You see here (adds Mr. Bayle) a triumph as remarkable as that of +S. Aldhelme, and some other canonized saints, who came off victorious on +such attacks. + +Cicero[6] assures us, That Stilpo of Megera, the philosopher, a man of +much wit and ability for the times he lived in, loved wine as well as +women; and, that his friends wrote this of him in his praise, and not +dishonour. + +Athenæus says, That the philosophers Lacides and Timon, once upon a +time, past two whole days successively in drinking. Ælian puts their +names into his catalogue of hard drinkers; to which he adds Amasis, +the lawgiver of the Egyptians. + +Chrysippus the philosopher, native of Solos, a town of Cilicia, or of +Tharsus, according to others, got drunk pretty often. It is said, That +some of his disciples having prevailed upon him to come to a sacrifice, +he drank so much pure wine, that he died five days afterwards. There are +other authors, however, will have it, that he died of immoderate +laughter, seeing an ass eat figs out of a dish, and upon which he +commanded they should give him drink. + + + [Footnote 1: Solonem et Arcesilaum credunt indulsisse vino.] + + [[Footnote 1a: Horace, _Odes_ III.xxi.11-12.]] + + [Footnote 2: Hist. Sep. Sap.] + + [Footnote 3: Lib. ii. 2.] + + [Footnote 4: Hudibras.] + + [Footnote 5: Bayle Dict. Art. Xenoc.] + + [Footnote 6: Lib. de Fab.] + + + + +CHAP. XIV. + +OF POETS THAT USED TO GET DRUNK. + + +As wine is the poet’s great horse, so it must not be wondered at, that +the major part of them fuddle their noses; for, in reality, they cannot +properly be said to be mounted on their great horses, till they have +drunk pretty heartily. These gentlemen speak then on horseback, for the +discourse of poets is quite opposite to that of orators, which Horace +says, is a discourse on foot[1], but when they drink nothing we can only +say, that they are mounted upon. + +The attachment that Homer had to wine, appears in the frequent eulogiums +he gives that liquor. And if we examine Anacreon never so little, we +shall find his inclinations, as well as his verses, were divided between +wine and love. As much delicacy and fine turns as one finds in his +works, an honest man cannot see without indignation, but that they tend +absolutely to debauch. One must drink, one must love. The moments that +are not employed in the pleasures of the senses are lost. Pausanius +tells us, that he saw at Athens the statue of Anacreon, which +represented him drunk and singing. + +The poet Philoxenus wished he had a neck as long as a crane, that he +might the longer have the pleasure of swallowing wine, and enjoy its +delicious taste. + +Ion, the poet of Chios, was not much more sober in respect of wine, +according to Ælian and Euripides. + +Horace must by no means be forgotten, whose satires derive from the +grape their sprightfulness and gaiety. + +Timocreon of Rhodes, a comic poet in the 75th Olympiad, was a great +drinker. Athenæus has given of him this epitaph:-- + + Multa bibens et multa vorans, mala plurima dicens + Multis hic jaceo Timocreon Rhodius. + +To these we may add Alceus and Eunius, of whom we have already made +mention; but what signifies this enumeration, since it is most certain, +that almost all the poets in the world, of all ages, got drunk, which +puts them under the protection of Bacchus. This made them heretofore in +Rome celebrate once a year, in the month of March, a festival in honour +to this God with solemn sacrifices. What Ovid[2] has said on this point +puts the matter out of all doubt:-- + + “Illa dies hæc est, qua te celebrare poetæ + Si modo non fallunt tempora, Bacche, solent, + Festaque odoratis innectunt tempora sertis + Et dicunt laudes ad tua vina tuas. + Inter quos memini, dum me mea fata sinebant, + Non invisa tibi pars ego sæpe fui.” + + This is the day, unless the times are chang’d, + That poets us’d to sing in merry lays, + And with sweet garlands crown’d, promiscuous rang’d, + To thy rich wines, great Bacchus, chaunt thy praise. + With these gay chorists, when my fates were kind, + Free, unreserv’d, to thee, immortal power! + (The pleasing object fresh salutes my mind) + Without disguise a part I often bore. + + + [Footnote 1: Sermo pedestris.] + + [Footnote 2: Trist. v. 3.] + + + + +CHAP. XV. + +OF FREE MASONS, AND OTHER LEARNED MEN, THAT USED TO GET DRUNK. + + +If what brother Eugenius Philalethes, author of Long Livers, a book +dedicated to the Free Masons, says in his Preface[1] to that treatise, +be true, those mystical gentlemen very well deserve a place amongst the +learned. But, without entering into their peculiar jargon, or whether a +man can be sacrilegiously perjured for revealing secrets when he has +none, I do assure my readers, they are very great friends to the +vintners. An eye-witness of this was I myself, at their late general +meeting at Stationers’ Hall, who having learned some of their catechism, +passed my examination, paid my five shillings, and took my place +accordingly. + +We had a good dinner, and, to their eternal honour, the brotherhood laid +about them very valiantly. They saw then their high dignity; they saw +what they were, acted accordingly, and shewed themselves (what they +were) men[2]. The Westphalia hams and chickens, with good plum pudding, +not forgetting the delicious salmon, were plentifully sacrificed, with +copious libations of wine for the consolation of the brotherhood. But +whether, after a very disedifying manner their demolishing huge walls of +venison pasty, be building up a spiritual house, I leave to brother +Eugenius Philalethes to determine. However, to do them justice, I must +own, there was no mention made of politics or religion, so well do they +seem to follow the advice of that author[3]. And when the music began to +play, “Let the king enjoy his own again,” they were immediately +reprimanded by a person of great gravity and science. + +The bottle, in the mean while, went merrily about, and the following +healths were begun by a great man, The King, Prince and Princess, and +the Royal Family; the Church as by Law established; Prosperity to Old +England under the present Administration; and Love, Liberty, and +Science; which were unanimously pledged in full bumpers, attended with +loud huzzas. + +The faces then of the most ancient and most honourable fraternity of the +Free Masons, brightened with ruddy fires; their eyes illuminated, +resplendent blazed. + +Well fare ye, merry hearts, thought I, hail ye illustrious topers, if +liberty and freedom, ye free mortals, is your essential difference, +richly distinguishes you from all others, and is, indeed, the very soul +and spirit of the brotherhood, according to brother Eugenius +Philalethes[4]. I know not who may be your alma mater, but undoubtedly +Bacchus is your liber pater. + + ’Tis wine, ye Masons, makes you free, + Bacchus the father is of liberty. + +But leaving the Free Masons, and their invaluable secrets, for I know +not what they are worth, come we now to speak of other men of learning, +who loved to indulge their genius with the delicious juice of the grape. +And here we need not fly to antiquity, which would swell this work into +a large volume, later times will furnish us with many a bright example. +_Non semper confugiamus ad vetera._ + +A man of learning, after ten or twelve hours daily study, cannot do +better, than to unbend his mind in drinking plentifully of the creature; +and may not such a one say to himself these verses of the French poet:-- + + “Dois-je mal a propos secher a faire un livre + Et n’avoir pour tout fruit des peines que je prends + Que la haine de sots et les mepris des grands[5].” + + Why should I pass away my time in vain, + And, to compose a book, dry up my brain, + When all the recompense I’m like to find, + For all the toil and labour of my mind, + Is the unthinking silly ideot’s hate, + And the contempt and scorn of all the great + +I must own I would have the indefatigable labour of such a one gain an +immortal reputation after his death; but after all, to weary one’s self +all one’s life long with those views, is very chimerical. And certainly, +he that makes but little account of the honours that might accrue to him +after his death, acted like a man of sense. _Si venit post fata gloria +non propero_[6]. + +Is it not infinitely better to divert one’s self while one lives, than +to idle all one’s life away on poring upon books? Much better will the +following song become the mouth of a man of letters, which I have +transcribed out of the Mercure Galant, of the year 1711, p. 67. + + “De ceux qui vivent dans l’histoire, + Ma foi je n’envierai le sort. + Nargues du Temple de Memoire + Ou l’on ne vit que lorsque l’on est mort. + J’aime bien mieux vivre pendant ma vin + Pour boire avec Silvie; + Car je sentirai + Les momens que je vivrai + Tant que je boirai.” + + Faith, I shan’t envy him, whoe’er he be, + That glorious lives in history; + Nor memory’s rich fane amuse my head, + Where no one lives but when he’s dead. + I had much rather, while I life enjoy, + The precious moments all employ, + With my lov’d Silvia, and delicious wine, + Both wonderful, and both divine. + For that I truly live, and healthy prove, + Is that I drink, and that I love. + +This is exactly the same thing that Racan said to Maynard in this +ode[7]. + + “Je sai, Maynard, que les merveilles + Qui naissent de tes longues veilles + Vivront autant que l’univers; + Mais que te sert il que ta gloire + Eclipse au Temple de Memoire + Quand tu seras mangé des vers? + Quitte cette inutile peine, + Bûvons plûtôt a longue haleine + De ce doux jus delicieux, + Qui pour l’excellence précéde + Le bruvage que Ganimede + Verse dans la coupe des dieux.” + + Maynard, I know thy thoughts express’d in rhyme, + Those wonders of thy bright immortal pen, + Shall live for ever in the minds of men, + Till vast eternity shall swallow time. + Yet should thy glories, now so radiant bright, + In Memory’s rare temple lose their light; + Suffer eclipse, when to the worms a prey, + Those reptiles eat thy poor remains away. + Does this reflection chagrin thee, my friend, + Thus to the useless thought decree an end? + Drink, and drink largely, that delicious juice, + The em’rald vines in purple gems produce, + Which for its excellence surpasses far + That liquor which, to bright celestial souls, + Jove’s minion, Ganimede, with steady care, + Richly dispenses in immortal bowls. + +So much for poetry, let us come to the point, and instance some learned +men, that have loved this diversion. And first, enter Erasmus, who +certainly was no enemy to wine, since he chose rather to continue where +the plague was than drink water. To prove this, I shall instance part of +a letter written to this great man by Armonius, an Italian, and a very +learned person:-- “Immediately after my arrival in England, +I endeavoured to inform myself where you were, because in your last you +told me, the plague had forced you to quit Cambridge. At length I was +told for certain, that you had indeed left the town, but retiring into a +place where there was no wine, which to you being worse than the plague, +you returned thither, and where you now are. O intrepid soldier of +Bacchus, whom so eminent a danger could not compel to desert his +general!” The Latin having much more force, for the sake of those who +understand that language, I shall take the liberty to insert it, as +follows:-- _Simul atque Anglicum solum tetigi, ubi locorum esses rogare +cepi, siquidem Cantabrigiensem pestem fugere te scripsisti. Unus tandem +sixtinus mihi dixit te quidem Cantabrigiam. Ob pestem reliquisse et +concessisse nescio quo, ubi cum vini penuria laborares, et eo carere +gravius peste duceres, Cantabrigiam repetiisse atque ibi nunc esse. +O fortem Bassarei commilitonem, qui in summo periculo ducem deserere +nolueris_[8]. + +“Daniel Heinsius loved to drink a little. One day, when he was not in a +condition to read his lectures, having got drunk the day before, some +arch wags fixed these words on the school-door:-- _Daniel Heinsius, +non leget hodie, propter hesternam carpulam_[9].” + +“George Sharpe, a Scotchman, professor, and vice-chancellor of +Montpelier, who died in the year 1673, on his birth-day, aged fifty-nine +years, was a great drunkard[10].” + +Barthius may also be reckoned amongst those learned topers, if what +Coloniez says be true. “I knew,” says he, “some learned men in Holland, +who spoke of Scriverius as of a man extremely amorous. M. Vossius, +amongst others, related to me one day, that Barthius being come from +Germany to Haerlaem to see Scriverius, had in his company a lady +perfectly beautiful, whom Scriverius had no sooner seen, but he found +means to make Barthius drunk, that he might entertain the lady with +greater liberty, which he accomplished. It was not, however, so well +managed, but Barthius coming to himself had some reason to suspect what +had past, which grew so much upon him, that he took the lady along with +him in a rage, and drowned her in the Rhine[11].” + +Scaliger treats as a drunkard, John Kuklin, a calvinist minister, native +of Hesse, and a very learned man[12]. + +“Nicolas de Bourbon, of Bar sur l’Aube, was nephew’s son to the poet +Nicolas Bourbon, who lived in the time of Francis the First; after +having been king’s professor, then canon of Langres, made himself father +of the oratory. ----He was a prodigious dry soul, and loved good wine, +which made him often say, That though he was of the French academy, yet +that when he read French verses he fancied he was drinking water.” + +The great Buchanan, so famous for his fine writings, was a terrible +drinker, if we may give any credit to Father Garasse. What follows is +taken out of his Doctrine Curieuse, p. 748. “I shall,” says he, “recount +to our new atheists, the miserable end of a man of their belief and +humour, as to eating and drinking. The libertine having passed his +debauched youth in Paris and Bourdeaux, more diligent in finding out +tavern bushes than the laurel of Parnassus; and being towards the latter +end of his life, recalled into Scotland, to instruct the young prince, +James VI. continuing his intemperance, he grew at last so dropsical by +drinking, that by way of jeer he said he was in labour. _Vino +intercute_, not _aquâ intercute_. As ill as he was, he would, however, +not abstain from drinking bumpers, and them too all of pure wine, as he +used to do at Bourdeaux. The physicians who had care of his health, by +order of the king, seeing the extravagant excesses of their patient, +told him roundly, and in a kind of heat, that he did all he could to +kill himself, and that, if he continued this course of life, he could +not live above a fortnight, or three weeks, longer. He desired them then +to hold a consultation amongst themselves, and let him know how long he +might live if he abstained from wine. They did so, and told him, he +might on that condition live five or six years longer. Upon which he +gave them an answer worthy his humour. Go, says he, with your regimens +and prescriptions, and know, that I had rather live three weeks, and get +drunk every day, than six years without drinking wine. And as soon as he +had thus dismissed the physicians, he caused a barrel of wine of Grave +to be placed at his bed’s head, resolving to see the bottom of it before +he died; and carried himself so valiantly in this encounter, that he +drank it up to the lees, fulfilling literally the contents of this +quaint epigram of Epigonus upon a frog, who falling into a pipe of wine, +cried out, + + φεύ τινες ὕδωρ + πίνουσι μανίην σώφρονα μαινόμενοι. + +“Having death and the glass between his teeth, the ministers visited him +to bring him to himself, that he might take resolution to die with some +thought and reflection; one of them especially exhorted him to recite +the Lord’s Prayer; upon which, opening his eyes, he looked very ghastly +upon the minister, And what is that, says he, that you call the Lord’s +Prayer? The standers by answered, It was the Our Father; and that, if he +could not pronounce that prayer, they desired him that at least he would +recite some christian prayer, that he might die like a good man. For my +part, replied he, I never knew any other prayer than this, + + “Cynthia prima suis miserum me cepit ocellis, + Contractum nullis ante cupidinibus.”[12a] + + Cynthia’s fine eyes, me wretched, first could move, + Before that time I knew not what was love. + +“And scarce had he repeated ten or twelve verses of that elegy of +Propertius, but he expired, surrounded with cups and glasses, and of him +one may really say, that he vomitted his purple soul out, _Purpuræam +vomit ille animam_[13].” + +I shall not vouch for the truth of this story, but you have it as I find +it; nor must it be expected that Buchanan, who was their mortal enemy, +should find any favour from the priests of the church of Rome. + +Justus Lipsius got sometimes drunk; he tells us so himself, in his +Commentary on Seneca, for in that passage where the philosopher says, +that drunkenness cures some certain distempers, he makes on the word +distempers this remark following--Melancholy (we know it by experience) +or cold. And in the discourses which he says were carried on between +Carrio Demius and Dusa, upon subjects of literature, and which he +inserts in his Ancient Lessons, they had always a glass in their hand. + +Every one knows that Baudius, professor in the university of Leyden, was +a great drinker, and Culprit himself pleads guilty to the indictment. +_Habemus rerum confitentem._ Here follow his own words, which I own I +cannot translate without losing their beauty in the Latin, but the +substance is, that he defies envy itself to say any thing against him, +but that like the ancient Cato, he drank pretty liberally of the juice +of the grape. _Concurrant omnes_, says he, _non dicam ut ille satiricus, +Augures, Haruspices, sed quicquid est ubique hominum curiosorum, qui in +aliena acta tam sedulo iniquirunt ut ea fingant quæ nunquam fuerunt, +nihil inveniet quod in nobis carpere possit livor, quam quod interdum ad +exemplum prisci Catonii liberalitatis invitare nos patiamur, nec semper +constitimus ultra sobrietatem veterum Sabinorum_[14]. And in another +letter he says, that the most virulent detractor could never reproach +him with any thing, but that he got sometimes drunk. _Malignitas +obtrectatorum nihil aliud in nobis sigillare potest quam quod nimis +commodus sum convivator, et interdum largius adspargor rore liberi +patris_[15]. + +Balzac made also some little debauches with some of his friends at his +country-house; and what he wrote to an officer who was then prisoner in +Germany, makes it evidently appear that he thought it lawful so to do. +“In relation,” says he, “to the German manner of drinking healths, which +you speak of with such trouble, as if they were so many Turkish +bastinadoes, I think your sobriety in that respect to be a little too +delicate, you must learn to howl when you are in company of wolves, as +the proverb has it, and not to instance great generals. Don’t you know, +that wise ambassadors of kings have heretofore got drunk for the good of +their master’s affairs, and sacrificed all their prudence and gravity to +the necessity of great men, and the custom of the country where they +were. I do not advise you here to any forbidden acts of intemperance, +but I think it no manner of harm now and then to drown your chagrin in +Rhenish wine, and to make use of that agreeable means to shorten the +time, the long continuance of which is ever extremely tedious to +prisoners[16].” + +The illustrious professor of Utrecht, whose name shall live as long as +the republic of letters shall subsist, was a great drinker, and valued +himself for drinking a great deal. It is reported of this learned man, +that at the congress of the last peace, a certain German prince, of a +sovereign house, came on purpose to have a brush with our professor, who +accepted the challenge, and came off victorious, having fairly laid his +enemy speechless on the floor. + + + [Footnote 1: Vide Preface, p. 17, l. 6, where are these words, + viz. Thus shall princes love and cherish you as their most + faithful children and servants, and take delight to commune with + you, inasmuch as amongst you are found men excellent in all kinds + of sciences, and who, thereby, may make their names, who love and + cherish you, immortal] + + [Footnote 2: Page 6, l. 9.] + + [Footnote 3: Page 16, l. 19.] + + [Footnote 4: Page 5, l. 12. Page 42, l. 13.] + + [Footnote 5: Oeuv. div. du Sieur D’Espreaux, p. 246.] + + [Footnote 6: Martial.] + + [Footnote 7: Parnass. Franc, p. 97.] + + [Footnote 8: Bayle Dict. Art. Ammon.] + + [Footnote 9: Menagian, t. i. p. 26.] + + [Footnote 10: Patinian, p. 106.] + + [Footnote 11: Rec. de Partic. p. 318, ed. 4.] + + [Footnote 12: Scaliger, p. 409.] + + [[Footnote 12a: Propertius I.i.1-2.]] + + [Footnote 13: Bayle Dict. Art. Buchan. D.] + + [Footnote 14: Ep. xxxiii. centur. 3.] + + [Footnote 15: Ep. xxvi. centur. 3.] + + [Footnote 16: Lett. Chois. lib. ii. lett. 5.] + + + + +CHAP. XVI. + +OF NATIONS THAT USED TO GET DRUNK. + + +The plot now begins to thicken upon us, and we are come to give an +account of such nations with whom the custom of getting drunk was +heretofore very much in vogue; and of those with whom this same custom +reigns at this very day. + +When we consult ancient histories upon this point, we learn from +Plato[1], that the Scythians, Thracians, Celtæ and Iberians, were the +greatest drinkers that ever were. Ælian[2] says the same in relation to +the Thracians and Illyrians. It is also reported of the Parthians[3], +that the more they drink the more thirsty they grow. + +Athenæus[4] also assures us, that the Thracians were great drinkers; and +he says the same thing of the Milesians, Illyrians, Lydians, Persians, +Carthaginians, Gauls, and Spaniards. + +The Tapyrians were so much given to wine, that they past their whole +lives in drinking, and even bathed their bodies in wine[5]. + +The Tarentins used to drink from morning till night, and got quite drunk +in public[6]. + +The Leontins, a people in Sicily, were such great drunkards, that they +occasioned this proverb, viz. the Leontins are always near a cup of +wine[7]. + +The Byzantins must not be refused a place in this chapter. Ælian +reports[8], that Leonides, their general, being besieged, and unable to +make his men keep their posts, which they quitted every moment to go and +get drunk at the taverns, he immediately gave orders that the vintners +should repair with all their liquors to the ramparts, by which stratagem +he kept them to their duty. + +But as it may be said that the nations we have already mentioned were +all barbarous, we shall, for that reason, verify what Montaigne says, +that amongst nations the best regulated, and most polite, this essay of +drinking deep was very much in use[9]. + +The Greeks, whom one may look upon as the only nation of the world for +politeness and good sense, are a proof of what I advance. They +celebrated the feasts of Bacchus with a great deal of solemnity; it is +from them that Pergræcari, of which every one knows the signification, +is derived. Ælian assures us, that they were so very luxurious, that +they put perfumed oils into their wine, which they called wine of myrrh. + +The Romans had also a very strong passion for wine, so that at Rome +there were frequently very great seditions for want of it. _Seditiones +sunt concitatæ graves ob inopiam vini_[10], says Ammianus Marcellinus, +in the Life of Constantius and Gallus; and in the reign of Constantius +only, the same historian says, there was a sedition also upon that very +account. + +Titus Livius tells us, that the Clusians passed the Alps, and came to +inhabit the country that the Etrurians possessed before, to have the +pleasure of drinking wine[11]. + +Let us now descend to some nations, with whom, at present, this custom +of getting drunk is received. + +Sir Paul Ricaut[12] assures us, that the Turks considering that wine +rejoices the heart, and comforts the stomach, have begun to drink it; +adding, that at present there are only a few (ulamah) ecclesiastical +hypocrites or some ignorant bigots, or superannuated people, that +abstain from that liquor; but at the same time drunkenness is grown very +common amongst them. + +M. Du Mont confirms this truth, “As to wine,” says he, “though it be as +expressly forbidden as swine’s flesh, it is nevertheless very certain +that a great many Mahometans transgress that precept; and the justest +thing that I can say in that respect is, that abstinence from wine is +observed there almost after the same manner as Lent in France[13].” + +The Persians too drink wine to excess, though their law forbids the use +of it; and they say for an excuse, “That it is to pass away the time, +and sweeten the cares that surprise them[14].” + +The Armenians are no way behind the Persians, if we may believe +Tavernier, who says, that with them, “He that treats thinks he has +handsomely acquitted himself of his entertainment, if his guests cannot +find the door when they have a mind to go home, which would very often +happen, without the assistance of their servants, who lead them, and yet +have not power enough sometimes to keep them from falling down in the +room, or in the street, which is a great satisfaction to the host; for +if he finds any of them master of so much judgment as to guide himself, +though he reels never so much, he laments very much, as having the +misfortune of spending his money to no purpose[15]. + +The Siameze drink wine very heartily when they can get it, though every +thing that may intoxicate them is forbidden by their law[16]. + +Father le Clerc, author of a Relation of Gaspesia, assures us, that +drunkenness is the favourite vice of the inhabitants of that +country[17]. + +The inhabitants of the coast of Africa are great drunkards; they would +give all they had in the world for a glass of brandy. At Loanda, capital +of the kingdom of Angola, a firkin of wine sells for above thirty pounds +sterling. They love it extremely, and they tell you a pleasant story +hereupon of the great duke of Bamba, which is a province of the king of +Congo, viz. that he once refused the crown, as he himself owned to the +fathers missioners, that he might be always near the Portuguese, and +drink, by their means, sometimes a little wine or brandy[18]. + +The Muscovites love wine with a kind of fury, and it has been known, +that when a man who has drunk to excess, and can swallow no more, they +wash him soundly with it. And in Germany you are not looked upon to have +treated your guest like a friend, if you do not reduce him to that +condition, as quite to forget himself, and know not what he does[19]. + +“As Georgia produces strong wines, so its inhabitants are great +drunkards, the strongest liquors is what they love most; and at their +entertainments they drink more brandy than wine, women as well as +men.[20]” + +Sir John Chardin[21] assures us, That there is no country in the world +where they drink so much wine, and more excellent, than they do at +Georgia; adding, that the Georgians are great drunkards, and that the +clergy get drunk as well as the laity. + + Like people like priest. + + Quales populus talis sacerdos. + +We have taken care not to forget Germany. _Vocabitur hæc quoque votis._ +Which we reserve to the next chapter. + + + [Footnote 1: Lips. cent. 3, ep. li.] + + [Footnote 2: Lib. ii. cap. 15.] + + [Footnote 3: Erasm. Adag.] + + [Footnote 4: Lib. x. cap. 10.] + + [Footnote 5: Ælian, lib. iii. cap. 13.] + + [Footnote 6: Lib. xii.] + + [Footnote 7: Forner de Ebriet. lib. i. cap. 12.] + + [Footnote 8: Lib. iii. cap. 14.] + + [Footnote 9: Essays, l. ii. cap. 2.] + + [Footnote 10: Hist. Aug. Script. ed. 1609. fol. p. 414, and + p. 425.] + + [Footnote 11: P. 85.] + + [Footnote 12: Hist. of the Turks.] + + [Footnote 13: Voyage, t. 3, let. v.] + + [Footnote 14: Tavernier’s Trav. 1. lib. v. cap. 17.] + + [Footnote 15: Tavern. t. 1, lib. v. cap. 17.] + + [Footnote 16: Loubere, liv. i. ch. 9.] + + [Footnote 17: Bibl. Univ. t. xxiii. p. 44.] + + [Footnote 18: Viaggo del Congo.] + + [Footnote 19: Chevrean, t. ii. p. 215.] + + [Footnote 20: Tavern. t. 1, liv. iii. ch. 9.] + + [Footnote 21: Voyag. t. ii. p. 129.] + + + + +CHAP. XVII. + +OF THE DRUNKENNESS OF THE GERMANS. + + +The Germans were, in all times and ages, great drinkers, and in the +words of one of their own poets, + + “Illic nobilitas, æterno nomine digna + Exhaurire cados, siccareque pocula longa[1].” + + ---------------------- worthy eternal fame! + ’Tis there a piece of true nobility, + To empty casks, and drink deep goblets dry. + +To demonstrate the origin of their bibacity, it is absolutely necessary +to go higher than Tacitus, who in the treatise which he composed in +relation to their customs and manners, thus speaks: “It is no shame with +them to pass whole days and nights in drinking; but quarrellings are +very frequent amongst them, as are usual amongst folks in that respect, +and more often end at daggers drawing than in Billingsgate. It is, +however, in such meetings, that alliances and reconciliations are +formed. Here they treat of the election of princes. In short, of all +affairs, of peace and war. Those opportunities they think most proper, +inasmuch as then people shake off all disguise of thought and +reflection, and the heat of debauch engages the soul of man to +resolutions the most bold and hardy[2].” + +Owen, our countryman, has made an epitaph in honour of these our +substantial topers, the Germans; the sense of which is, that if truth +lies hidden in wine, they are the first people in the world that will +find it out. His words are, + + Si latet in vino verum, ut proverbia dicunt, + Invenit verum Teuto vel inveniet. + +Let us see now what travellers have said on this subject of the Germans: +and we will begin with M. Aug. de Thou[3], an eye-witness thereof. +“There is,” says he, “before Mulhausen, a large place, or square, where, +during the fair, assemble a prodigious number of people, of both sexes, +and of all ages; there one may see wives supporting their husbands, +daughters their fathers, tottering upon their horses or asses, a true +image of a Bacchanal. The public-houses are full of drinkers, where the +young women who wait, pour wine into goblets out of a large bottle with +a long neck, without spilling one drop. They press you to drink with +pleasantries the most agreeable in the world. People drink here +continually, and return at all hours to do the same thing over again.” + +This pleasant sight, so new to M. de Thou, continues almost all night. +And what is very particular amongst such a great concourse of people, +and such a number of drunkards, every thing passes without dispute and +quarrelling. + +Let us now see what the duke de Rohan says on this head, whose words are +these[4]:-- “From thence I came to Trent, a place noways agreeable, and +famous for nothing but the last council which was held there; and if it +was not that it was half Italian, (being glad of coming out of little +Barbary, and a universal tippling-house,) I would take no notice of it; +being well satisfied, that the mathematicians of our times can no where +find out the perpetual motion so well as here, where the goblets of +Germans are an evident demonstration of its possibility--they think they +cannot make good cheer, nor permit friendship or fraternity, as they +call it, with any, without giving the seal brimful of wine, to seal it +for perpetuity.” + +M. Misson, who was also some time in Germany, gives us yet a larger +description. “The Germans,” says he[5], “are, as you know, strange +drinkers. There are no people in the world more caressing, more civil, +more officious, but still another cup. They have terrible customs on +that article of drinking. Every thing is transacted over the bottle; you +can do nothing without drinking. One can scarce speak three words at a +visit, but you are astonished to see the collation come in, or at least +a good quantity of wine, attended with crusts of bread cut into little +pieces, upon a plate with salt and pepper, a fatal preparative for bad +drinkers. I must instruct you in the laws they observe in their cups; +laws sacred and inviolable. You must never drink without drinking some +one’s health, which having done, you must immediately present the glass +to the party you drank to, who must never refuse it, but drink it to the +last drop. Reflect a little, I beseech you, on these customs, and you +will see how, and by what means, it is impossible to cease from +drinking. After this manner one shall never have done. It is a perpetual +circle to drink after the German fashion; it is to drink for ever. +You must likewise know, that the glasses too are respected in those +countries as much as the wine is loved; they range them all about in +ranks and files; most of their rooms are wainscotted up two thirds of +the wall, and the glasses are ranged all about, like organ pipes, upon +the cornish. They begin with the small, and end with the large ones, +which are like melon glasses, and must be taken off at one draught, when +they drink any health of importance.” + +Let us observe here[6], “That it was the custom of the ancient Greeks to +drink largely after meals, and that this custom is now practised in +Germany.” This was what Æneas, and the people of his train, used to do, +as we learn from these verses of Virgil[7]:-- + + “Postquam prima quies epulis, mensæque remotæ, + Crateras magnas statuunt et vina coronant. + + After the teeth had gain’d their first repose, + The dishes ta’en away, the cloth remov’d, + The rich repast gigantic tankards close, + Replete with wines, by nicest tastes approv’d. + +It is the same thing with the Armenians, they never drink till at the +end of their meals. “After they have said grace, the dishes are removed, +in order to bring in the desert, and then they prepare themselves to +drink to excess.” + +We come now to the Swiss. Here follows what Daniel Eremita, a very +learned man, who published a description of their country, has said of +them. “[8]They have the same simplicity in drinking, but they do not +keep the same moderation. Wine is what they place their delight in, and +they prefer it to all things in the world. At their assemblies, both for +pleasure and business, or any other affairs, wine always makes a party; +with which, when they have overloaded their stomach, they discharge it, +and sit down to it again, and drink as they did at first. They leave the +care of their family to their wives and children, who live with the +utmost economy, in favour of their husbands, who are continually at the +tavern. They talk with glass in hand, and please themselves in that +posture to recount their acts and jests, and those of their ancestors, +as examples to posterity. They speak freely all they know, and know not +what a secret is. In short, this way of life does not only continue +whole days successively, but all the time they live.” + +Nor have things now taken another aspect in Switzerland. The author of a +travel lately into that country, tells us for certain, that “wine is a +singular attractive, a powerful charm, against which the Swiss can make +no manner of resistance[9].” + +Before I close this chapter I shall take notice of the Flemings, whom we +ought to look upon as making part of Germany, who, though they are +surrounded by water, take care never to drink any, which made Scaliger, +when in Holland, say to Douza, + + “In mediis habitamus aquis, quis credere possit + Et tamen hic nullæ, Douza, bibuntur aquæ[10].” + + Amidst the waters here we live, + Yet who can any credit give + To what I say, for, Douza, here + No water drinkers e’er appear. + +Guicciardin, in his description of the low countries, accuses the people +of drinking too much. _Hanno_[11], says he, _poi per la maggior parte +quel vitio del bere troppo_. He adds, however, “That they are in some +sort excusable, because the air of the country being for the most part +of the year humid, and apt to inspire melancholy, they could not, +perhaps, make use of a more efficacious remedy to expel this irksome, +unwholesome melancholy, than wine, which, I suppose, was Horace’s +sentiment, when he said, With wine drive away care. The words in the +original are, _Ma sono in qualche parte scusabili, per che essendo +l’aria del paese il pui del tempo humida et malinconica, non potrieno +peraventura trovar instromento piu idoneo a scacciare et battere la +malinconia odiosa et mal sana che il vino, si come pare che accerni +Horatio dicendo. Vino pellite curas._” + +But without any farther talking of the Germans, I shall end this chapter +with this necessary remark, that one need not go out of England for +examples of hard drinking, our country, God bless it, does not come +behind any other in this particular. + + + [Footnote 1: G. Brusch. Inter. p. 405.] + + [Footnote 2: Diem noctemque continuare nullum probium, crebræ ut + inter vinolentos rixæ, raro conviciis sepius cede et vulneribus + transiguntur. Sed et de reconciliandis invicem inimicitiis et + pangendis affinitatibus et adsciscendis principibus, de pace + denique ac bello plerunque in conviviis consultant; tanquam nullo + magis tempore aut ad simplices cogitationes patea animus, aut ad + magnas incalescat.] [[Tacitus, _Germania_ 22.]] + + [Footnote 3: Memoir de Thou. liv. ii. p. 63.] + + [Footnote 4: Voyag. p. 27. ed. 1646.] + + [Footnote 5: Voyage de Italie, t. i. let. 9.] + + [Footnote 6: Chevreana, t. ii. p. 188.] + + [Footnote 7: Æneid, lib. i. v. 723.] [[i.e. 723-724.]] + + [Footnote 8: Ed. viii. p. 411.] + + [Footnote 9: Voyag. de Rouvier, p. 89.] + + [Footnote 10: De admir. Holland.] + + [Footnote 11: Ed. fol. 1567, p. 29.] + + + + +CHAP. XVIII. + +OF NATIONS THAT GET DRUNK WITH CERTAIN LIQUORS. + + +As every country does not produce wine, but, according to the poet[1], + + “Hic segetes, illic veniunt fælicius uvæ.” + + _Here_ wheat, more happily _there_ grows the grape. + +Those nations, with whom there are no vines, have invented other drinks +to make themselves merry. Pliny[2] tells us, That the western people got +drunk with certain liquors made with fruits; and that these liquors have +different names in Gaul and Spain, though they produce the same effect. + +Ammianus Marcellinus reports, That the Gauls having no wine in their +country, though they are very fond of it, contrive a great many sorts of +liquors, which produce the same effect as wine. _Vini avidum genus +adfectans ad vini similitum dinem multiplices potus._ + +The Scythians had no wine, as appears by the answer of Anacharsis, the +philosopher, who being asked, If they had none that played on the flute +in Scythia, replied, That they had not so much as any wine there. +However, for all that, they got drunk with certain liquors which had the +force and strength of wine. This also we learn from these words of +Virgil:-- + + “Ipsi in defossis specubus, secura subaltâ + Otia agunt terrâ, congestaque robora tolasque + Advolvere focis ulmos, ignique dedere. + Hic noctem ludo ducunt, et pocula læti + Fermento, atque acidis imitantur vitea sorbis.”[2a] + + Secure, in quiet ease, they dwell in caves + Deep dug in earth, and to their chimneys roll + Whole oaks and elms entire, which flames devour. + Here all the night, in sport and merry glee, + They pass and imitate, with acid service, + By fermentation vinous made, the grape. + +The Thracians intoxicate themselves by swallowing the fumes of certain +herbs, which they cast into the fire. + +The Babylonians, according to Herodotus, used likewise to get drunk, +by swallowing the fumes of certain herbs that they burned. + +Strabo reports, That the Indians made a certain drink with sugar canes, +which made them merry; very probably not unlike what we now call rum. + +Benso, in his History of America, says the same of the inhabitants of +the island of Hispaniola, and several other provinces of America. + +Pliny and Athenæus tell us, that the Egyptians fuddled themselves with a +drink made of barley; by this it seems the liquor of Sir John +Barley-Corn is very ancient. + +Leri[3], in his Voyage to Brazil, tells us, That the inhabitants of that +country are as great drinkers as the Germans, Flemings, Lansquenets, +Swiss: and all those merry gentleman who love carousing, and drink +supernaculum, ought to agree, that they are even with them. Their drink +is made of certain roots, which they boil and ferment, and is then +called by them in their language, _cahou-in_. The author adds, “That he +has seen them not only drink three days and nights successively without +ceasing, but that they were so very drunk, that they could swallow no +more till they had disgorged, which was in order to begin again. + +“There [4]grows in the Eastern countries certain particular drugs, with +which the inhabitants are wonderfully delighted, and which produce a +kind of drunkenness, or agreeable folly, which continues some time. They +are so much accustomed to the use of these drugs, by a long habit, that +they imagine that life must be very sad and unhappy without them. +The Indians and Persians have their bangué, the Egyptians their bola, +and the Turks their opium.” + +In relation to the Persians, Tavernier[5] has these words, viz. “They +have a sort of drink to divert and make themselves merry, which they +call kokemaar, made of poppy-seeds boiled. They drink it scalding hot; +and there are particular houses, called kokemaar kronè, where people +meet, and give a great deal of pleasure and delight to those who see the +ridiculous postures which this kind of liquor makes them perform. Before +it operates they quarrel with one another, and give abusive language, +without coming to blows; afterwards when the drug begins to have its +effect, then they also begin to make peace. One compliments in a very +high degree, another tells stories, but all are extremely ridiculous +both in their words and actions.” And after having spoken of other +liquors that they make use of, he adds, “It is difficult to find in +Persia a man that is not addicted to some one of these liquors, without +which they think they cannot live but very unpleasantly.” + +I take no notice here of that admirable drink called Punch with us; nor +Juniper-water, (vulgarly called Geneva, a corruption from the French +word Genevre, which signifies the same thing,) nor that dram called +All-fours, which have such wonderful effects on the wretched commonalty. + + + [Footnote 1: Virgil.] [[_Georgics_ I.54.]] + + [Footnote 2: Const. et Jul. lib. 16.] + + [[Footnote 2a: Virgil, _Georgics_ III.376-380.]] + + [Footnote 3: P. 126, ed. 1594.] + + [Footnote 4: L’Emer. des Alim. part iii. ch. 2.] + + [Footnote 5: T. 1, lib. v. ch. 17.] + + + + +CHAP. XIX. + +OTHER CONSIDERATIONS IN FAVOUR OF DRUNKENNESS. + + +Drunkenness will (and ought to do so) appear excusable to people the +most sober, if they would but make these two reflections following, viz. + + +I. _That drunkards are not generally given to lewdness._ + +Aristotle says, “That too much drinking makes one very improper for the +acts of Venus, and gives his reasons. Athenæus reports the same thing in +that passage, where he makes mention of the drunkenness of Alexander the +Great, a vice,” says he, “which, perhaps, was the cause of his little +inclination for the ladies.” + +Montaigne[1] speaks very well on this article, “These,” says he, “are +two things which vigorously oppose each other; this weakens our stomach +on one hand; whereas, on the other, sobriety serves to make us more +quaint and delicate in the exercise of love.” + +Ovid[2] says much the same thing. + + “Vina parant animum veneri, nisi plurima sumas, + Ut stupeant multo corda sepulta mero.” + + Wine, not too much, inspires, and makes the mind + To the soft joys of Venus strong inclin’d, + Which buried in excess, unapt to love, + Stupidly lies, and knows not how to move. + + +II. _That in those countries where they do not drink to excess, they are +very much addicted to debauchery._ + +It is certain, that in hot countries they drink a great deal less +than they do in cold, but in lieu of that, lewdness reigns much more. +Montaigne[3], after having observed, that they began to drink less +than they used to do, adds, “Does any one think it tends to amendment? +No, indeed; but, perhaps, we are much more given to whoring than our +forefathers.” + +This puts me in mind of an Italian, who having reproached a German with +the drunkenness of his country, by these verses, viz. + + “Germani multos possunt tolerare labores + O utinam possint tam tolerare sitim.” + + The Germans (patient) toil, inur’d to pain, + Oh! could they but their thirst so well sustain! + +The German answered him extempore in these other two:-- + + “Ut nos vitis amor, sic vos Venus improba vexat + Est data lex veneri Julia, nulla mero.” + + As we love wine, so wicked Venus you, + Twas _this_, not _that_, the Julian Edict knew. + +In order to draw a consequence from all this, let us speak once more of +Montaigne[4], whose words are, “And if we cannot give any pleasure but +what costs us something, as the ancients maintain, I find this vice +costs the conscience less than all the rest, besides, it is in this +respect no despicable consideration, that a man advanced in honours, +amongst three principal conveniencies of life, that he told me he yet +enjoyed, he reckoned this for one.” + +After having shewn, in the foregoing chapters, That drunkenness reigns +all the world over, _Nulla in parte mundi cessat ebrietas_. Let us see +what we may hence infer in its favour: and I ask, if the agreement of so +many different nations, to do one and the same thing, proves nothing, +and may not, in some measure, serve as an apology for drunkenness? +For if one considers, that the surprising variety of the humour and +temperament of men, do, notwithstanding, in nowise hinder them from +agreeing unanimously in this point, one shall have a very strong +temptation to believe, that the desire of getting drunk is an innate +quality, and we shall be confirmed in this sentiment, after tasting +experimentally the exquisite sweetness caused by drunkenness. + +To conclude, + + All drink, throughout the universe, ’tis plain, + The moon drinks up the sea, the earth the rain, + The sun the air, and ev’ry tree, we know, + The earth’s prolific juice imbibes to grow. + The air sups up the water too, ’tis said, + Why then, my dearest friends, d’ye plague my head, + And angry grow, because, dry soul[5], I swill + New wine, drink fit for gods, and quaff my fill. + + + [Footnote 1: Essais, l. ii. ch. 2.] + + [Footnote 2: De Remed. Amor.] + + [Footnote 3: Essais, liv. ii. ch. 2.] + + [Footnote 4: Essais, liv. ii. ch. 2.] + + [Footnote 5: Anima mea non potest habitare in sicco. S. Aug.] + + + + +CHAP. XX. + +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT DRUNKENNESS CAUSES INFINITE EVILS. + + +After having specified the good qualities of drunkenness, let us now +answer some frivolous objections that may be made against what we have +here advanced. For example, people will not be wanting immediately to +object, that drunkenness has been the cause of infinite evils. + +To this I answer, that it has been only the cause of these evils when +people have pushed it too far, and not observed the rules they ought to +keep in drinking, and which we shall see here prescribed by and by. For +where do we find that any one, of so many grave philosophers that used +to get drunk, made any disorders? It was for this reason that +Chrisippus’s maid said, That her master was drunk in the hams. And it +was on this very account, perhaps, that the Stoics said of their sage, +“That he was, indeed, to be overcome with wine, but would not, however, +be drunk, _Vino obrutum iri non ebrium tamen futurum_.” + +On the other hand, without being willing to excuse those disorders which +drunkenness has been the cause of, one may say, nevertheless, that some +of these disorders have produced effects highly advantageous. “Suppose, +for example, that Lot had not got drunk, and his two daughters had not +been possessed with the furious desire of having children, and the fear +of dying maids, you ruin, by this means, whole families, who bore a +great part in the wonderful events of the children of Israel[1].” + +Their high mightinesses the States of Holland, have eternal obligations +to drunkenness, since to this they owe, in some sort, the establishment +of their republic, which was after this manner, according to Strada:-- +[2]The same day that Brederode, accompanied by above two hundred +gentlemen, had presented that famous petition to Margaret of Parma, who +then governed the Netherlands, he gave a magnificent entertainment in +the house of the Count of Culenbourg, there was no want of drinking; +and as they saw the Count of Hoocstrate, who by chance passed that way, +they began, with a great deal of joy, to give one another the name of +Gueux[3]; upon which taking each of them all together great glasses in +their hands, they made vows and oaths to each other by the name of +Gueux, and cried out with one voice and general applause, Long live the +Gueux! After which they promised mutual fidelity; and the Prince of +Orange and the Counts of Egmont and Horn coming to them, they began to +drink again, and with great acclamation renewed vows and wishes with +these new comers, as they had already done, for the Gueux. At last, in +the heat of wine, they took those vigorous resolutions, the effects of +which were afterwards seen, which was the liberty of the United +Provinces. + + + [Footnote 1: Lett. xvi. sur la Crit. du Calvin.] + + [Footnote 2: Strada de Bello Belgico, part i. lib. 5.] + + [Footnote 3: The French word for beggars.] + + + + +CHAP. XXI. + +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT THE MIRTH WHICH WINE INSPIRES IS +CHIMERICAL. + + +It will be objected, without doubt, that the mirth which wine inspires +is imaginary, and without any foundation, and that, as Boileau has it, + + “Rien n’est beau que le vrai. Le vrai seul est aimable.” + + Nothing so beautiful as what is true, + That it is only lovely is its due. + +I very willingly own, that this joy and mirth is nothing else than the +effect of our imagination. + + Full well I’m satisfied ’tis nothing all + But a deceitful hope, less solid far, + A thousand times, than is the moving sand; + But are not all things so with wretched man? + All things soon pass away like rapid streams + Which hasten to the sea, where lost for ever + In th’ ocean’s vast abyss unknown they lie. + Our wisest wishes and desires are vain, + Abstracted vanities, gay painted bubbles, + That break when touch’d, and vanish into air. + Love, wisdom, knowledge, riches, phantoms all. + +But before we thoroughly refute this objection, I shall observe by the +way, that errors and illusions are necessary to the world. “[1]In +general, indeed, it is true to say, that the world, as it is now, cannot +keep itself in the same condition, were not men full of a thousand false +prejudices and unreasonable passions; and if philosophy went about to +make men act according to the clear and distinct ideas of reason, we +might, perhaps, be satisfied, that mankind would quickly be at an end. +Errors, passions, prejudices, and a hundred other the like faults, are +as a necessary evil to the world. Men would be worth nothing for this +world, were they cured, and the greatest part of the things which now +take up our time, would be useless, as Quintilian well knew, namely, +eloquence. + +Things are in this condition, and will not easily change, and we may +wait long enough for such a happy revolution, before we shall be able to +say, with Virgil, + + “Magnus ab integro sæculorum nascitur ordo.”[1a] + + A series long of ages now appear, + Entirely new to man, before unknown. + +On the other hand, “[2]If you take away from man every thing that is +chimerical, what pleasure will you leave him? Pleasures are not things +so solid, as to permit us to search them to the bottom; one must only +just touch them and away. They resemble boggy and moorish ground, we +must run lightly over them, without ever letting our feet make the least +impression.” + + No, wheresoe’er we turn our wishing eye, + True pleasures never can our souls enjoy. + +Let us add, “[3]That if we did not help to deceive ourselves, we should +never enjoy any pleasure at all. The most agreeable things in this world +are, in the bottom, so trivial, that they would not much affect us, if +we made but never so little serious reflection upon them. Pleasures are +not made to be strictly examined into, and we are obliged every day to +pass over a great many things in them, about which it would not be +proper to make one-self uneasy.” + +Besides, “[4]Is not the illusion we enjoy as valuable as the good we +possess? M. Fontenelle makes a very excellent observation hereupon in +these verses[5]:-- + + “Souvent en s’attachant a des fantômes vains + Notre raison seduite avec plaisir s’egare. + Elle-même joüit des objets qu’elle a feints. + Et cette illusion pour quelque tems repare + Le defaut des vrais biens que la Nature avare + N’a pas accordez aux humains.” + + Often enchanted by the ’luring charms + Of phantoms gay, our reason all seduc’d, + With pleasure roams thro’ endless desarts wild, + Enjoys the objects which herself has form’d. + And this illusion for some time repairs + The want of real joys, which niggard Nature + Never has granted to unhappy man. + +“Enjoyment,” says Montaigne[6], “and possession, belong principally to +imagination, which embraces more eagerly that which it is in pursuit of, +than that which we have in our power.” + +And certainly, one may pronounce them happy, who thus amuse themselves, +and believe themselves to be so. And indeed, when a man is so far gone +in this persuasion, every thing that is alleged to the contrary is +rejected as a fable. + +But to shew, at present, the reality, if one may say so, of mere +illusion, we need go no farther than the poets, who are certainly the +happiest mortals living in that respect. + +To instance no more, there’s Mr. --------, who would fain be a rhimer, +and that is his folly; but though the poor man, for his insipid verses, +and improper epithets, richly deserves our pity, yet is he wonderfully +pleased with his performances, and with a great deal of tranquillity +mounts up Parnassus, in his own conceit, in loftier tracts than Virgil +or Theocritus ever knew. But, alas! what would become of him, if some +audacious person should dare unbind his eyes, and make him see his weak +and graceless lines, which, however smoothly they may run, are, at best, +but exquisitely dull; contain terms that have no meaning in them, and +have no other ornament, but unintelligible jingle, and initial letters? +How would he curse the day which deprived his senseless soul of that +happy error that so much charmed his thoughts, and amused his +imagination? + +What is here said of the poets is applicable to all mankind; and so a +man, whom any one should undertake to persuade, that the mirth and joy +inspired by wine is chimerical, would do well to answer him, after the +manner as a certain madman did the doctor that cured him. The story is +this:-- + +Once upon a time a certain bigot, otherwise a man of sense, had his +brain a little touched with whimsies, and continually fancied he heard +the heavenly music of the blessed spirits. At last a physician, very +expert in his profession, cured him, either by his skill, or by chance, +no matter which; but when he came to demand his fees; for what? says the +other, in a violent passion, by your damned slip-slops and hellish art, +you have robbed me of my Paradise, though you have cured me of my error. +This I borrow from Boileau[7], as he did from Horace[8]. + +“[9]There are,” says Pere Bouhours, writing to Bussi Rabutin, “agreeable +errors, which are much more valuable than that which the Spaniards +called desengano, and which might be called in our language +disabusement, if this word, which one of our best writers has ventured +upon, had been received.” + +We shall conclude with M. de Sacy[10], “That it is not always doing +mankind an agreeable service to dissipate their illusions.” And we say +of those who taste those satisfactions wine inspires, what M. Bayle says +very pleasantly of news-mongers who are still in hopes of what they wish +for. “They are[11],” says he, “the least unhappy, whatever happens. +There is a great deal of reality in their agreeable sentiments, how +chimerical soever their foundation may be; so that they do not willingly +suffer themselves to be disabused; and they sometimes say, when one +gives them reasons why they should believe the news, that makes them so +joyful, is doubtful or absolutely false, Why do you envy us the +pleasures we enjoy? Do not disturb our entertainment, or rob us of what +we hold most dear. A friend more opposite to error than charity is a +very troublesome reasoner; and if he meddles with their chimeras they +will endeavour to do him a diskindness.” + +We come now to another objection, and that is, that this joy inspired by +wine is but of a very short continuance; and the pleasure one tastes in +so short a space, dearly repaid with a long and tedious uneasiness. +_Ebrietas unius horæ hilarem insaniam longo temporis tedio pensat._ + +I own that it is a very great misery, that our pleasures are so short: +and the shorter too, the more exquisite they are. And, perhaps, this may +be a kindness to us, since some are so superlatively so, that should +they continue a much longer space, mankind could not support themselves +under these ecstacies. But be this as it will, can we make them +otherwise than they are? We must therefore have patience, and take them +as we find them. In short, there is no present happiness in the world; +all we can do, is to be contented with the present, not uneasy at what +is to come, but sweeten with an equality of soul the bitter miseries of +human life. + + + [Footnote 1: Lett. xvi. sur la Crit. de Calvin, p. 516.] + + [[Footnote 1a: Virgil, _Eclogues_ IV.5.]] + + [Footnote 2: Fontenelle Dial. d’Elisab. et du D. d’Alençon.] + + [Footnote 3: Fontenelle Dial. des Morts de Callirh. et de Paulin.] + + [Footnote 4: Nov. Dial. des Dieux. p. 68.] + + [Footnote 5: Poesies Pastor.] + + [Footnote 6: Essais, lib. iii. ch. 9.] + + [Footnote 7: Satire iv. M. la Vayer.] + + [Footnote 8: Lib. ii. ep. 2.] + + [Footnote 9: Lett. de Rab. t. iii. lett. 63.] + + [Footnote 10: De l’Amitié, p. 2.] + + [Footnote 11: Rep. aux Quest. d’un Prov. t. i. ch. 20.] + + + + +CHAP. XXII. + +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT ONE LOSES ONE’S REASON IN GETTING +DRUNK. + + +It is objected here, that reason ought to be the motive of all our +actions; and, of consequence, that we ought not voluntarily to lose it. + +To this objection I answer several ways:-- First and foremost then, +I say, people do well to talk to us so much of reason, when almost all +mankind acts without reason, so that it may pass for a thing that has no +manner of existence but in the imagination. We shall prove this from +M. Bayle. “[1]We are defined,” says he, “a reasonable animal. A very +fine definition indeed, when none of us do any thing but without reason. +I assure you, sir, that one may say of reason, what Euripides said in +the beginning of one of his tragedies, and which afterwards was +corrected, on account of the murmurings of the people. O Jupiter, for of +thee I know nothing but only the name! In relation to the faculty I am +talking of, we know nothing more of it than that, so that we may well +laugh at the complaints of that heathen philosopher, who found that +reason was a very troublesome present sent to us by the gods for our +ruin; for he supposed, that reason busied herself in our affairs, +whereas the truth of it is she never meddles in the least with them. +We act nothing but with prejudice, by instinct, by self-love, and the +sudden starts of a thousand passions, which drag and turn our reason as +they will, insomuch that one may most justly define the principle which +rules and domineers over us, a mass of prejudices and passions which +knows how to draw consequences. I remember to have seen a man, who +having never heard mention made of the Cotta of Cicero, said +nevertheless as well as he, that it would have been much better that God +had not made us reasonable, since reason poisons all our affairs, and +makes us ingenious to afflict ourselves, upon which a certain person +said to him in raillery, That he had what he desired; that he had +received so small a share of reason that it was not worth his while to +complain. For my part, I turned the thing otherwise, that people were +much in the wrong to murmur against reason, since it is not that which +guides us; and that it is not too possible it should, without +overthrowing the order which has reigned so long in the world. The +learned Erasmus, continued I, deserves the highest praise in this +respect; he has written The Praise of Folly, wherein he shews that she +sheds every where her influence, and without her, the whole world would +in a short time be turned topsy turvy. I make no doubt, sir, but you +know the merit of that work. The author speaks, though in a merry +manner, the greatest truths in the world; and I do not know whether he +believed himself as profound a philosopher, as he really was in that +ingenious satire.” + +Secondly, This is not all, “[2]It is sometimes necessary, for the +general good of the world, to follow prejudices, popular errors, and the +blind instincts of nature, rather than the distinct ideas of reason.” +Mr. Bayle extends himself farther on this idea in another place[3], +which I shall here insert. “Errors,” says he, “irregular passions, and +unreasonable prejudices, are so necessary to the world to make it a +theatre of that prodigious diversity of events which make one admire his +providence. So that he who would reduce men to do nothing but according +to the distinct ideas of reason, would ruin civil society. If man was +reduced to this condition, he would have no longer any desire of glory; +and having no longer that desire, is it not true, that then mankind +would be like ice? I say, he would have no desire of glory, for right +reason shews us, that we should not make our happiness depend on the +judgment of other men; and consequently, that we should not toil and +fatigue ourselves, to make other people say this, or that, of us----. +The earnest desire of being praised after death is an instinct of +morality that God has impressed in the mind of man, to keep up society. +And it is certain, that earnest desire has been the cause of the +greatest events; and this ought to instruct us that the world stands in +need of a great many instincts, which, examined according to the ideas +of our reason, are ridiculous and absurd. For there is nothing so +opposite to reason as to torment ourselves in this life, that we may be +praised after we are dead, since neither philosophy, nor experience, nor +faith, nor any thing whatsover, makes it appear, that the praises given +us after death can do us any good. It would be a thing uneasy to the +heart of man, if we did nothing but according to the light of reason; +and how many designs would come to nothing at the same time?” + +Thirdly, Besides, reason very often serves for nothing but to make us +wretched. “The happiness of man is never the work of reason.” Of all our +evils reason is often the worst; it frightens us in the full career of +our pleasures, and with importunate remorses comes to bridle our fleet +desires. The horrid thing reserves for us most cruel and matchless +rigours. It is like a troublesome pedant one is forced to hear, who +always growls, but never touches us, and frequently like D------, +and such like venerable impertinents, lose the time they employ in +predication. + +“If there be any happiness[4],” says Fontenelle, “that reason produces, +it is like that sort of health which cannot be maintained but by the +force of physic, and which is ever most feeble and uncertain.” And in +another place he cries out, “[5]Can we not have sound sight without +being at the same time wretched and uneasy? Is there any thing gay but +error? And is reason made for any thing else but to torment and kill +us?” “[6]What cause have not men to bewail their wretched condition? +Nature furnishes them but with a very few things that are agreeable, and +their reason teaches them how to enjoy them yet less.” “[7]And why has +Nature, in giving us passions which are sufficient to make us happy, +given us reason, that will not suffer us to be so?” + +It was this same troublesome reason that made Sophocles say, “[8]It is +very sweet to live, but none of your wisdom, away with her, she spoils +life.” + + Vaunt less thy reason, O unhappy man! + Behold how useless is this gift celestial, + For which, they say, thou should’st the rest disdain. + Feeble as thou wert in thy infant days, + Like thee she mov’d, she totter’d, and was weak. + When age mature arriv’d, and call’d to pleasures, + Slave to thy sense, she still was so to thee, + When fifty winters, Fate had let thee count; + Pregnant with thousand cares and worlds of woes, + The hateful issue in thy breast she threw, + And now grown old thou loosest her for ever. + +Before I end this chapter, let every body take notice, that if for +having spoken so much against reason, any one should say, that it is a +plain sign the author has none; and that there are a great many others, +who, in the words of M. La Motte[9], will be apt to say:-- + + “Heureux cent fois l’auteur avec qui l’on s’oublie + Qui nous offre un charmant poison, + Et nous associant a sa douce folie + Nous affranchit de la raison.” + + Happy the author, whose bewitching style, + Life’s tedious minutes can beguile, + Makes us, with him, forget uneasy care, + And not remember what we are. + Who by a charm, which no one can withstand, + Enchanting poison can command, + Can make us share his pleasing foolery, + And from dull reason set us free. + +And I shall not be wanting to answer in the words of the same gentleman: + + “[10]Bûveurs brisez le joug d’une raison trop fiere + Eteignez son triste flambeau + D’autres enseignent l’art d’augmenter sa lumiere + Mais l’art de l’eteindre est plus beau.” + + Break, jolly topers, break th’ ungrateful chain + Of reason, if she too imperious grow, + Of being disturb’d you never need complain, + If you put out her troublesome flambeau. + Others may teach the art t’ increase her fires, + To put them out a finer art requires. + + + [Footnote 1: Lett. xxii, sur la Crit. du Calv. p. 756.] + + [Footnote 2: Lett. sur la Crit. du Calv. Lett. xvi. p.504.] + + [Footnote 3: Ibid. p. 535.] + + [Footnote 4: Dial. de M. Stuart, et P. Riccio.] + + [Footnote 5: Dial. de Parmen. et de Theb.] + + [Footnote 6: Dial. de Alexand. et Phryne.] + + [Footnote 7: Nouv. Dial. des Dieux, p. 99.] + + [Footnote 8: Moriæ Encom.] + + [Footnote 9: La Motte, Od. la Vanité.] + + [Footnote 10: Od. Thalia.] + + + + +CHAP. XXIII. + +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT ONE CANNOT TRUST A MAN THAT GETS DRUNK. + + +There is a proverb amongst the Jews. “[1]_Ingrediente vino egreditur +secretum._” As the wine goes in so the secret goes out. Seneca[2] makes +the same objection. “As,” says he, “new wine bursts the vessel, and the +heat makes every thing go upwards, so the force of wine is such, that it +brings to light, and discovers, what is most secret and hidden.” + +In answer to this objection I say, that people who are naturally secret, +are not less so after drinking. “[3]And Bacchus was not said to be the +inventor of wine, on account of the liberty of his tongue, but because +he freed our minds from disquiet, and makes them more firm and resolute +in what we undertake.” + +Besides, do we not see every day, people of all ranks, conditions, and +characters, get drunk, and yet we trust them with secrets, and it very +rarely happens they speak of them when they are drunk. Thus, if we +consult history, we shall learn from Seneca[4] himself, that the design +of killing Cæsar was as well communicated to Tullius Cimber, who was a +great drinker, as to C. Cassius, who drank nothing but water. And though +L. Piso, governor of Rome, got frequently drunk, he, notwithstanding, +excellently acquitted himself of his duty. Augustus made no manner of +difficulty to give him secret instructions, bestowing on him the +government of Thrace, the conquest of which he entirely completed. +Tiberius, before he left Rome, where he was generally hated, in order to +retire into the Campania, made choice of Costus, who was extremely given +to wine, for governor of that city, to whom he communicated such things +as he dared not trust his own ministers with. + + + [Footnote 1: Voyage de Rouvie, p. 497.] + + [Footnote 2: Ep. 83.] + + [Footnote 3: Seneca de Tranquill.] + + [Footnote 4: Seneca, ep. 83.] + + + + +CHAP. XXIV. + +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT DRUNKENNESS MAKES ONE INCAPABLE OF +PERFORMING THE DUTIES OF CIVIL LIFE. + + +I deny this absolutely, and to prove the contrary, I say, the Persians +had a custom to deliberate on things the most serious, and of the +greatest importance, after hard drinking. Tacitus reports the same thing +of the Germans. Dampier assures us, that the same custom is practised +with the inhabitants of the Isthmus Darien. And to go higher, one finds +in Homer, that during the siege of Troy, the Greeks, in council, did eat +and drink heartily. An evident proof, that this objection is contrary to +experience. But to go farther, this same experience made the ancients +look on those who could carry a great deal of wine, as persons of a +genius very much superior to those who could not drink at all. On this +account it was, that Cyrus, in writing to the Lacedemonians the reasons +which rendered him more capable of government than his brother, amongst +other things, takes notice, that he could drink more wine than he. And +so many fine productions, for which we are obliged to the drunkenness of +the poets, make it evidently appear, that wine, far from rendering us +incapable of doing any thing that is good, rather helps and incites us +to it. This important truth we shall confirm by several examples. + +Plutarch relates, that Philip king of Macedon, after having conquered +the Athenians, made a feast, at which he got drunk; and that all proud +with that happy success, he nevertheless did a great many things +entirely ridiculous; but being informed that the ambassadors that the +Athenians sent to him to desire peace, wished to see him, he changed his +countenance all of a sudden, and having heard their proposals with all +possible attention, answered them with a great deal of justice. + +The emperor Bonosus, who Amelian said was born not to live, but to +drink, acted always with greater prudence after drinking, says Flavius +Vopiscus, after Onesimus[1]. + +We have taken notice, in the foregoing chapter, that L. Piso, governor +of Rome, though he was often drunk, acquitted himself, notwithstanding, +punctually of his duty. + +Christiern[2], the fourth king of Denmark, drank like a templer, and +never king was more laborious, a greater lover of his subjects, or more +beloved by them. + +Scaliger[3] says, that a German has as much reason when he is drunk, +as when he has drank nothing. _Non minus sapit Germanus ebrius quam +sobrius._ + +Montaigne[4] speaks in his Essays, of a great lord of his time, who, +though he drank every day a prodigious quantity of wine, was, +nevertheless, equally careful in his affairs. According to which, that +which Cicero says is not generally true, viz. “That one must never +expect prudence from a man that is always drunk.” _Nec enim ab homine +nunquam sobrio postulanda prudentia_[5]. + +Another proof that drunkenness does not render us incapable of doing any +thing that is good, is, that it inspires people with courage, and even +makes the coward valiant. _Ad prelia trudit inertem._ Experience +confirms this truth. “We see,” says Montaigne[6], “that our Germans, +though drowned in wine, remember their post, the word, and their rank.” + +We read in Spartien, that a certain general having been vanquished by +the Saracens, his soldiers laid all the blame of their defeat on their +want of wine. + +The soldiers of the army of Pescennius Niger pressed earnestly for wine, +undoubtedly to make them fight the better; but he refused them in these +words, “You have the Nile,” said he, “and do you ask for wine?” In +imitation, I suppose, of the emperor Augustus[7], who, when the people +complained of the dearness and scarcity of wine, said to them, “My +son-in-law, Agrippa, has preserved you from thirst, by the canals he has +made for you.” + +By what has been said it plainly appears, that wine is so far from +hindering a man from performing the duties of life, that it rather +forwards him, and is an admirable ingredient in all states and +conditions, both of peace and war, which made Horace[8] thus bespeak the +god of wine. + + “Quanquam choreis aptior et jocis + Ludoque dictus, non sat idoneus + Pugnis ferebaris, sed idem + Pacis eras mediusque belli.” + + Tho’ thou more apt for love than furious war, + And gay desires to move, thy chiefest care, + Yet war, and sweetest pleasures, you can join, + Both Mars and Venus are devotes to wine. + + + [Footnote 1: Flav. Vopisc. in vita Bonos.] + + [Footnote 2: Amel. de la Houssai sur Tacit. Ann. liv. xi. ch. 35.] + + [Footnote 3: Scaligeriana, p. 169.] + + [Footnote 4: L. ii. ch. 2.] + + [Footnote 5: Orat. ii. Philip.] + + [Footnote 6: Essais, l. ii. ch. 2.] + + [Footnote 7: Sueton. in Vit. August.] + + [Footnote 8: Lib. ii. Od. 19.] + + + + +CHAP. XXV. + +BURLESQUE, RIDICULOUS, AND OUT-OF-THE-WAY THOUGHTS, AGAINST DRUNKENNESS. + + +It is reported that Gerson should say, That there was no difference +between a man’s killing himself at one stroke, or to procure death by +several, in getting drunk. + +Somebody has burlesqued this verse of Ovid[1]:-- + + Vina parant animos, faciuntque coloribus aptos.[1a] + +And thus changed it, + + Vina parant asinos, faciuntque furoribus aptos. + +Cyneas[2] alluding to those high trees to which they used to fasten the +vines, said one day, discoursing on wine, that it was not without reason +that his mother was hanged upon so high a gibbet. + +“[3]The diversion that people took heretofore in making one another +drunk, appeared more heinous to St. Augustine than an assassination, for +he maintained, that those who made any one drunk, did him greater injury +than if they had given him a stab with a dagger. + +“A Greek[4] physician once wrote a letter to Alexander, in which he +begged him to remember, that every time that he drank wine, he drank the +pure blood of the earth, and that he must not abuse it. + +“[5]Some poets say, that it was the blood of the gods wounded in their +battle with the giants. + +“[6]The Severians in St. Epiphanius, hold, that it was engendered by a +serpent, and it is for that reason that the vine is so strong. And the +Encratites, in the same author, imagine to themselves that it was the +gall of the devil. + +“Noah[7] in an hour of drunkenness,” says St. Jerom, “let his body be +seen naked, which he had kept covered for six hundred years.” + + + [Footnote 1: Sphinx Theol. p. 682.] + + [[Footnote 1a: Ovid, _Ars Amatoria_ 237.]] + + [Footnote 2: Diver, cur. t. i. p. 141.] + + [Footnote 3: Rep. des Lett. Janv. 1687. Art. I.] + + [Footnote 4: Androcydes.] + + [Footnote 5: Entret. de Voiture, et de Costar, Lett. 29.] + + [Footnote 6: Lib. i. Heres. 47.] + + [Footnote 7: Ep. ad Ocean.] + + + + +CHAP. XXVI. + +A RIDICULOUS AVERSION THAT SOME HAVE TO WINE. + + +An aversion to wine is a thing not very common; and there are but a very +few but will say with Catullus:-- + + “At vos quo lubet, hinc abite lymphæ + Vini pernicies.”[a] + + Pernicious water, bane to wine, be gone. + +One should certainly be very much in the wrong to put in the number of +those who had an aversion to wine the duke of Clarence. His brother, +Edward the Fourth, prejudiced with the predictions of Merlin, as if they +foretold, that one day that duke should usurp the crown from his +children, resolved to put him to death, he only gave him the liberty to +choose what death he would die of. The duke being willing to die a merry +death, chose to be drowned in a butt of Malmsey. Not unlike him on whom +this epigram was made. + + “[1]In cyatho vini pleno cum musca periret; + Sic, ait Oeneus, sponte perire velim.” + + In a full glass of wine expir’d a fly; + So, said Oeneus, would I freely die. + +But let us come in earnest to those who have really had an antipathy to +wine. Herbelot[2], in his Bibliotheque Orientale, says, that there are +some Mussulmans so superstitious, that they will not call wine by its +true name, which is Schamr and Nedibh; and that there are some princes +amongst them that have forbidden the mentioning of it by express laws. +The reason of all this is, the prohibition of Mahomet to his followers, +which enjoins them not to drink wine. The occasion of which prohibition +is as follows: “[3]They say, that passing one day through a village, +and seeing the people in the mirth of wine embracing and kissing one +another, and making a thousand protestations of friendship, he was so +charmed with the sight, that he blessed the wine, as the best thing in +the world. But that, at his return, observing the same place full of +blood, and having been informed, that the same men whom he had seen +before so merry, had, at last, changed their mirth into rage, and been +fighting with their swords, he recalled his benediction, and cursed wine +for ever, on account of the bad effects it produced.” + +It is one of the chief commandments amongst the Siameze, to drink no +wine, nor any liquor that will procure drunkenness[4]. + +“[5]Drunkenness is detested in most parts of hot countries. It is looked +upon there as infamous. The greatest affront you can give a Spaniard, +is to call him drunkard. I have been assured, continues M. Bayle, +a servant, if his master should call him so, might bring his action at +law against him, and recover damages, though any other name he will +suffer very patiently, and without any right of complaint of being +injured in his reputation, as rogue, hang-dog, b----, &c.” + +Empedocles, we may well conclude, loved wine, which he called, Water +putrified in wood. + +[6]Amongst the Locrians, Seleucus had such an aversion to wine, that he +forbad any one to drink it under pain of death, or even give it to the +sick. + +Apollonius Thyanæus never drank any wine, no more than St. Fulgentius, +bishop, S. Stephen, king of Poland, and cardinal Emeri. + +“[7]The Severians, disciples of Severus, in the time of pope Sotherus, +condemned absolutely wine, as a creature of the devil.” + +[8]The emperor Frederick the Third, seeing his wife barren, consulted +the physicians upon the case; who told him, that if the empress would +drink wine she might be fruitful. But he told them, like a simpleton as +he was, That he had rather his wife should be barren and sober, than be +fruitful and drink wine. And the empress, being informed of the wise +answer of the imperial ninny-hammer, her husband, said full as wisely, +That if she was to be put to her choice, to drink wine or die, she +should make no manner of hesitation, but prefer death. + + De nimia sapientia libera nos domine. + + + [[Footnote a: Catullus XXVII.5-6.]] + + [Footnote 1: Rem. sur Rabel. t. iv. ch. 93.] + + [Footnote 2: Page 777.] + + [Footnote 3: Du Mont. Voyag. t. iii. let. 5.] + + [Footnote 4: Chaumont Voyag. de Siam.] + + [Footnote 5: Bayle Dict. t. ii. p. 1266.] + + [Footnote 6: Ælian, lib. ii. ch. 33.] + + [Footnote 7: Du Mont. Voyag. t. iii. lit. 5.] + + [Footnote 8: Rec. choise d’Hist.] + + + + +CHAP. XXVII. + +RIGOROUS LAWS AGAINST WINE AND DRUNKENNESS. + + +It is easy to imagine, that princes who did not love wine themselves, +would make very rigorous laws against drunkenness, and fall into that +fault which Horace speaks of. + + Dum vitant stulti vitia in contraria currunt.[a] + +But this maxim, _Nullum violentum durabile_, has been verified a great +many times, upon this subject of drunkenness, for all the laws made +against it have not long subsisted. + +Pentheus[1], king of Thebes, endeavoured to extirpate entirely the +custom of getting drunk; but he did not find his account in it, for he +was very ill-treated by his subjects for his pains. + +Lycurgus[2], king of Thrace, commanded all the vines of the country to +be cut up; for which he was justly punished by Bacchus. He also made +laws against drunkenness, which one may reckon amongst the bad ones that +he instituted. As, + + I. _The using women in common._ + + II. _The nudity of young women in certain solemn festivals._ + +“Pittacus[3], one of the wise men of Greece, commanded, that he who +committed a fault when he was drunk, should suffer a double punishment. +And amongst the laws of Solon, there was one, which condemned to death +the chief magistrate if he got drunk. Amongst the Indians, who only just +touch wine in the ceremonies of their sacrifices, the law commands, that +the woman who killed one of their kings, should get drunk, and marry his +successor.” + +[4]The Athenians had also very severe laws against those that should get +drunk; but one may say, these laws resembled those of Draco, which were +written rather with blood than ink. + +We come now to the Turks. Sir Paul Ricaut[5] tells us several +particulars on this head. Amurath, says he, resolved, in the year 1634, +to forbid entirely the use of wine. He put out a severe edict, which +commanded all the houses where they sold wine to be razed, the barrels +wherever they should be found to be staved, and the wine to be let out +into the streets. And that he might truly be satisfied his orders were +obeyed, he frequently disguised himself, and walked in that manner about +the city; and when he found any one carrying wine, he sent him to +prison, and had him bastinadoed almost to death. One day he met in the +streets a poor deaf man, who not hearing the noise usually made at the +approach of the sultan, did not soon enough avoid a prince whose +presence was so fatal. This negligence cost him his life. He was +strangled by order of the grand seignior, who commanded his body to be +cast into the street. But this great severity did not last long, and all +things returned to their former condition. + +However, matters took again another turn under the reign of Mahomet the +IVth. who, in 1670, resolved to forbid all the soldiery the use of wine. +The terrible seditions that liquor had formerly raised were remembered, +and especially that which happened under Mahomet the Third, who saw his +seraglio forced by a great multitude of soldiers full of wine, and whose +fury he could not free himself from, but by sacrificing his principal +favourites. An edict was published, to prohibit entirely the use of +wine, and to command all those who had any in their houses, to send it +out of town. The same extended all over the empire. The sultan condemned +to death those who should violate this decree, in which he spoke of wine +as of a liquor infernal, invented by the devil to destroy the souls of +men, to disturb their reason, and put states into combustion. This was +rigorously put in execution, and to that extremity, that it cost the +ambassador of England, and the christian merchants of Constantinople, +great solicitations, and large sums of money, to get leave to make only +as much wine as would suffice for their own families. At Smyrna, the +officers of the grand seignior had not the same indulgence for the +christians, who were one whole year without wine; and it was with great +difficulty they got leave to import it from the isles of the +Archipelago, and other places not comprised in that prohibition; for +this prohibition reached only those places where there were mosques. +Besides all this, they made every Friday sermons stuffed full of +declamations against those who should drink it. In short, this edict was +so severe, that wine seemed to be banished for ever the states of the +grand seignior. But in about a year’s time its severity was somewhat +remitted. The ambassadors, and other christians, had leave to make wine +within themselves; and about a year after that, the indulgence for wine +was general, the taverns were opened, and at this day that liquor is as +common as it was before. + + + [[Footnote a: Horace, _Satire_ I.ii.24.]] + + [Footnote 1: Sphinx. Theol. p. 669.] + + [Footnote 2: Hist. 7 Sap.] + + [Footnote 3: Chevreana, t. i. p. 217.] + + [Footnote 4: Hist. 7 Sap.] + + [Footnote 5: See his Turkish Hist.] + + + + +CHAP. XXVIII. + +RULES TO BE OBSERVED IN GETTING DRUNK. I. NOT TOO OFTEN. II. IN GOOD +COMPANY. + + +To avoid the disorders that drunkenness might cause, here are some rules +that ought to be observed in this important affair of getting drunk; +for, according to Pliny, the art of getting drunk has its laws. + + Hæc ars suis legibus constat.[a] + +I. The first, and principal of these, is not to get drunk too often. +This is what Seneca[1] recommends very much. “You must not,” says he, +“do it often, for fear it grow into a habit; it is but only sometimes +you should make your spirits gay in banishing gloomy sobriety.” + +And if any person objects, That if one gets drunk sometimes, one shall +do it often. I deny the consequence, and say in the words of the +philosopher, an axiom held by both universities, that + + Ab actu ad habitum non valet consequentia. + +II. Second rule. One must not get drunk but in good company. That is to +say, with good friends, people of wit, honour, and good humour, and +where there is good wine. For example, a man in former times would have +done very ill to get drunk with Heliogabalus, whose historian[2] +reports, that after having made his friends drunk, he used to shut them +up in an apartment, and at night let loose upon them lions, leopards, +and tigers, which always tore to pieces some of them. On the other hand, +the best wine in the world will taste very bad in bad company. It is +therefore that Martial reproaches one, that he spoiled his good wine +with his silly babbling. + + ------------ Verbis mucida vina facis.[2a] + + + [[Footnote a: Pliny, _Natural History_ XIV.50 + (or XIV.xxviii.146).]] + + [Footnote 1: De Tranquillitate.] + + [Footnote 2: Ælius Lamprid. in Vit. Heliogab.] + + [[Footnote 2a: Martial VIII.vi.4.]] + + + + +CHAP. XXIX. + +THIRD RULE, WITH GOOD WINE. + + +When one has a mind to get drunk, one should make choice of good wine, +and not drink bad, which is prejudicial to health. For example, green +wine is very bad; this Guilleaume Cretin[1], a great punster, has +expressed in these verses, which, I own, I am not able to put into +English:-- + + “Par ce vin verds Atropos a trop os + Des corps humains ruez envers en vers + Dont un quidam apre aux pots a propos + A fort blâmé les tours pervers en vers.” + +Good wine, on the contrary, has very good effects. Erasmus[2] preserved +himself from the plague, by drinking a glass of Burgundy at a proper +season. + +You see now the efficacy of good wine, which, to be in its perfection, +the adepts in the free-schools of Liber Pater say, must have these four +properties, and please these four senses:-- the taste by its savour, the +smell by its flavour, the sight by its clean and bright colour, and the +ear by the fame of the country where it grows. Old wine was looked upon +to be the best by the ancients. + + A beauty, when advanc’d in age, + No more her lovers can engage; + But wine, the rare advantage, knows, + It pleases more, more old it grows. + +And were they never so old themselves, they would still, if possible, +have the wine older than they were. _Nec cuiquam adeo longa erat vita, +ut non ante se genita potaret_[3]. Which these words of Seneca[4] also +confirm, “Why at your house do you drink wine older than yourself? _Cur +apud te vinum apud te vetustius bibitur._” + +Martial says, “Do you ask me of what consulate this wine is? It was +before there were any consuls in the world. + + “De sinuessanis venerunt massica prælis: + Condita quo quæris consule? nullus erat.”[4a] + +At present the fame of the best wine in Europe is reckoned to be, that +of Monte Fiascone, two days journey from Rome. Here it was a German +abbot killed himself by drinking too much of this delicious creature. +The story is this, and it is related in Lassell’s Travels:-- + +A certain German abbot, travelling to Rome, ordered his servant to ride +before him, and when he found the best wine, to chalk upon the door of +the inn (in order to save time) the word _EST_. Coming to Monte +Fiascone, he found it so excellent, that he put down, _Est, Est, Est_, +which the abbot finding true, drank so plentifully of it, that he went +no farther on his journey, but lies buried, they say, in the cathedral +church, with this epitaph, written by his servant the purveyor. + + Est, Est, Est, + et + Propter nimium Est, + Herus meus Dominus Abbas + mortuus Est. + +The wine called Lachrymæ Christi, or the Tears of Christ, is a most +delicious wine. At least a master of arts of the university of Cologn +thought so, who going also to Rome, drank at the same place pretty +heartily of it, and out of the abundance of his heart cried out, + + Utinam Christus lachrymatus fuisset in nostra patria. + + I wish Christ had shed tears in our country. + +M. Hofman believes, that Rhenish wine is the best of all wines for one’s +health. + +There grows also most excellent wines in France, such as Champagne. + +Wenceslaus[5], king of Bohemia and the Romans, being come into France on +account of some negociations with Charles the Sixth, arrived at Rheins +in the month of March, 1397. When he was in that city he found the wine +so good, that he got drunk more than once; and being one day in that +condition, that he could not enter into any serious discourses, he +rather chose to grant what was asked of him than leave off drinking. + +The wines of Burgundy must not be forgotten, which some prefer to +Champagne. “Baudius called vin de beaulne, vinum deorum, the wine of the +gods[6].” + +The wines of Ai are also very excellent. S. Evremont[7] says, that Leo +the Tenth, Charles the Fifth, Francis the First, and Hen. VIII. king of +England, did not think it below their dignity, amongst the most +important affairs of state, to take care to have the wines of Ai. +Henry IV. caused himself to be styled lord of Ai and Gonesse. + +But I shall desire my readers here to observe two things, First, That +artificial wines, and a many other liquors, containing a great deal of +gross, viscous matter, excite a drunkenness more long and dangerous than +that which is produced by ordinary wines. Another thing is, Never to get +drunk with brandy, spirits, and strong waters. Patin[8] says very +pleasantly, that these are sugared poisons which surely kill: they give +life to those who sell them, and death to those who use them. + + + [Footnote 1: Rem. sur. Rabel. t. iii. p. 39.] + + [Footnote 2: Journ. des Sçav. June, 1706.] + + [Footnote 3: Plin.] [[_Natural History_ XIX.20 (or XIX.xix.53).]] + + [Footnote 4: De Vit. beat. c. 17.] + + [[Footnote 4a: Martial XIII.111.]] + + [Footnote 5: Journ. de Sçav. June, 1706.] + + [Footnote 6: Patimana, p. 34.] + + [Footnote 7: Lett. S. Evrem.] + + [Footnote 8: Vign. Marvill, t. ii. p. 7.] + + + + +CHAP. XXX. + +FOURTH RULE, AT CONVENIENT TIMES. + + +Though one must not get drunk every day, one may, notwithstanding, +on certain occasions. One must sometimes unbend the mind. + + Neque semper arcum tendit Apollo.[a] + +And when a man puts on the air of a philosopher, it is then he turns +fool in affecting to be wise. + +There is a time for all things, and so there is in getting drunk, that +is, getting drunk with decency and decorum; and there are some times +which are not convenient to do so. As for example, (for I love to +illustrate what I advance,) it does not suit with decorum for a judge to +be drunk on the bench; nor a crier in the court exercising his office, +[hiccup, ki---- book;] a parson in the pulpit; an experimental +philosopher in shewing of his gimcracks; nor a freemason on the top of a +church-steeple. + +But it suits very well with strict decorum, to get drunk at a public +rejoicing after a signal victory. + + When the proud Gaul sustain’d an overthrow + By the immortal MARLBOROUGH, + Ever invincible! then you and I, + My Thirsis, shar’d the common joy. + Blenheim and Ramillies were then our song, + The day tho’ short, the night was long, + Till both with mighty claret glow’d, + And tipsy, to our beds were shew’d. + +We may also very decently get drunk with a friend we have not seen a +long while. + + Here ’tis----O welcome, flask divine, + How bright does thy vermillion shine! + Thou charming native of Dijon[1], + At thy approach my cares are flown, + Sad melancholy is no more, + Which rack’d and plagu’d my soul before. + Whether thy influence incites, + (Sweet influence) to soft delights; + Or else dost other measures keep, + And gently urge to peaceful sleep. + O may’st thou still such streams bestow, + Still with such ruddy torrents flow. + Damon, this bottle is your due, + And more I have in store for you + Under the sun the faithfullest friend; + I’ve kept them for no other end. + Drink then a bumper, ’tis a folly, + Dear Damon, to be melancholy. + +However rigorous the Roman laws were against drunkenness, they permitted +it nevertheless on their festivals; witness what a young man said to his +father in presence of the people. “[2]No father,” says he, “I have no +reason to be ashamed for having taken a little more wine than ordinary +at a feast with my companions.” _Non est res qua embescam, Pater, si die +festo inter æquales largiore vino fui usus._ + +The Persian soldiers, who otherwise lived very soberly, were permitted +to get drunk once a year[3]. + +In Georgia, he who did not get quite drunk at their principal holidays, +as at Easter and Christmas, was not looked upon to be a christian, and +ought to be excommunicated. [4]So that, according to this, getting drunk +at certain convenient times amongst these christians, was so far from +being unlawful, that a man was not looked upon to be orthodox, without +he did so. Getting drunk is therefore very orthodox. + + + [[Footnote a: Horace, _Odes_ II.x.19-20.]] + + [Footnote 1: Dijon, chief city in Burgundy.] + + [Footnote 2: Tit. Liv. lib. iv. ch. 14.] + + [Footnote 3: Alex. ab Alex, lib, ii. ch. 11.] + + [Footnote 4: Voyag. de Chard. t. ii. 129.] + + + + +CHAP. XXXI. + +FIFTH RULE, TO FORCE NO ONE TO DRINK. + + +It is very ridiculous and unreasonable to force any one to drink, +because the taking away liberty spoils company, the benefit of which +cannot subsist without freedom. Besides, every man’s capacity of +drinking is not the same; one shall be able to drink a gallon, and +another a pint; the latter, therefore, by drinking a pint, has drank as +much as the former when he has taken off his gallon, because they both +have drank as they can, and ------ Ferdinando ------ No man can do more +than he can do. Let every man, therefore, have the liberty to drink as +he pleases, without being tied up to the mad laws of drinking. I am of +the same opinion in this matter with brother Horace:-- + + ------------ Prout cuiq; libide est + Siccat inequales calices conviva solutus + Legibus insanis, sen quis capit acria fortis + Pocula, seu modicis humescit lætius----[a] + +We learn from history, that there was an ancient law amongst the +Persians, that forbad anyone to force another to drink. The +Lacedemonians also had that laudable custom. + +Charlemagne also made a law, that prohibited forcing any one to drink. + +Mr. Bayle reports a very pleasant revenge that M. Peyren gave to Raphael +Thorius, a very learned person, who would force him to drink, which take +as follows. “[1]M. Peyren dining at London with several persons of +learning, could not be discharged from drinking a health that Dr. +Thorius toasted. The glass was of a prodigious size, which M. Peyren, +for that reason, a long while refused, and alleged a thousand reasons, +but all in vain; he must empty the glass. Before he did it he made this +agreement with his antagonist, that he should drink a health afterwards +that he should toast to him; which being consented to, he took off the +bumper, and filled the glass full of water, and drank it off to the +doctor, who thereupon was thunderstruck, but seeing he could not get +off, sighed deeply, and lifted the glass a thousand times to his lips, +and as often drew it back again: he called to his assistance all the +quaint sayings of the Greek and Latin poets, and was almost the whole +day drinking that cursed bumper.” + +This is not much unlike what M. Chevreau reports of Marigni, who, +“[2]after having dined at one of the best eating-houses in Frankfort, +with six or seven persons of quality, was called to the sideboard, where +one of them began the emperor’s health. This he must drink, and as he +foresaw very well, that this extravagance would be attended with others, +he ordered three or four great pieces of bread to be brought to him, and +having eaten half of one to the health of the king of France, he gave +the other half to the other, who took it, indeed, but would not so much +as put it to his mouth. The company surprized at so unexpected a +novelty, let him alone without any contradiction.” + +Nevertheless, one should be very diligent in observing this rule, which +is, That when we find ourselves in the company of people that drink, and +would not run those lengths they are going to do, to retire; and this +was a standing law amongst the Greeks in their festivals, and ought to +be as unalterable as the laws of the Medes and Persians, viz. + + DRINK, OR GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS. + + + [[Footnote a: Horace, _Satires_ II.6.67-70.]] + + [Footnote 1: Diction, p. 2875. Art. Thor.] + + [Footnote 2: Chevræana, t. ii. p. 188.] + + + + +CHAP. XXXII. + +SIXTH RULE, NOT TO PUSH DRUNKENNESS TOO FAR. + + +It is certain, that to do well, we ought continually to have an eye to +this maxim of Horace, viz. _Est modus in rebus_. And the _Ne quid nimis_ +of Terence; but especially, in this grand and most important affair of +drunkenness. Seneca very well distinguishes two sorts of drunkenness, +one which entirely _buries_ our reason; and the other, which only +_diverts_ melancholy and chagrin. The last we believe to be very lawful; +but we would have it go farther, even so far, as not only _to divert_, +but to _drive away_ our cares entirely, or else not to get drunk at all. +That which is between these, if any such there can be, does one an +injury, according to the poet:-- + + Aut nulla ebrietas, aut tanta sit ut tibi curas + Eripiat, si quæ est inter utramque nocet.[a] + +After this manner would we have people use the juice of the grape; that +is, to go so far as to make our hearts merry, gay, and sprightly, and so +as to forget our cares. + +It would be here useless to shew, by a great many examples, the +disorders that drunkenness has caused, when pushed too far, because it +was never the intention of this work, but to divert (as wine was +designed to do) and make merry, I shall therefore conclude the whole +with an Ode to Bacchus, as follows:-- + + + [[Footnote a: Ovid, _Remedium Amoris_ 809-810.]] + + + + +AN ODE TO BACCHUS. + + + I. + + Let’s sing the glories of the god of wine, + May his immortal praise + Be the eternal object of our song, + And sweetest symphonies; may ev’ry tongue + And throat sonorous, vocal music raise, + And ev’ry grateful instrument combine + To celebrate, great god, thy power divine. + Let other poets to the world relate, + Of Troy, the hard, unhappy fate; + And in immortal song rehearse, + Purpled with streams of blood the Phrygian plain; + The glorious hist’ry of Achilles slain, + And th’ odious memory of Pelop’s sons revive in verse. + + II. + + God of the grape, thou potent boy, + Thou only object of our cordial vows, + To thee alone I consecrate my heart, + Ready to follow thee in ev’ry part: + Thy influence sweet mirth bestows, + For thee alone I’d live and die in scenes of joy. + Thy bounty all our wishes still prevents; + Thy wond’rous sweetness calms to soft repose + Our wild regrets and restless woes, + And richly ev’ry craving mind contents. + Without thee Venus has no charms; + You constancy to am’rous souls impart, + And hopes bestow to each despairing heart, + + III. + + But, what involuntary transports roll, + And seize, at once, my agitated soul! + Into what sacred vale! what silent wood! + (I speak not by the vulgar understood,) + Am I, O god! O wond’rous deity! + Ravish’d, brimful of thy divinity and thee! + To my (once infidel) believing eyes + Bacchus unveils entire his sacred mysteries. + Movements confus’d of joy and fear + Hurry me I know not where. + With boldness all divine the god inspires; + With what a pleasing fury am I fill’d! + Such raging fires + Never the Menades in Thracian caves beheld. + + IV. + + Descend, O mother-queen of love, + Leave a while the realms above; + With your gay presence grace the feast + Of that great god, who bears a boundless sway, + Who conquer’d climates where first rose the day. + Descend, O mother-queen of love, + At rich repasts an ever welcome guest; + But O ----, too long you stay, + Already young Amyntor, brisk and gay, + His lovely Doris o’er the plain pursues: + The sparkling juice at Sylvan nymphs command + Richly distils from their ambrosial hand, + And old Silenus copiously bedews. + + V. + + Hence, ye profane, + I hate ye all, fly, quit the field, + My ready soul gives way + To those gay movements, this important day + Inspires, so to the conq’ror willing captives yield. + Come, faithful followers of Bacchus’ train, + (Bacchus, most lovely of the gods) + Enter these bless’d abodes. + On high his verdant banners rear, + And quick the festival prepare. + Reach me my lute, a proper air + The chords shall sound; the trembling chords obey, + And join to celebrate this glorious day. + + VI. + + But ’midst the transports of a pleasing rage + Let’s banish ever hence, + By a blind vapour rais’d, and vain pretence, + Those loud seditious clamours that engage + Only inhuman, brutish souls, + By barb’rous Scythians only understood, + Who cruelly their flowing bowls + At banquets intermix with streams of blood. + Dreadful, preposterous, merriment! + Our hands all gayly innocent, + Ought ne’er in such confusion bear a part, + Polluted with a savage Centaur’s mortal dart. + + VII. + + From this sweet innocent repast, + (Too exquisite, alas! to last) + Let’s ever banish the rude din of arms, + Frightful Bellona, and her dread alarms. + The dire confusions of pernicious war, + The satyrs, fauns, and Bacchus, all abhor. + Curs’d be those sanguinary mortals, who + Of reeking blood with crimson tides + The sacred mysteries imbrue + Of our great god who over peace presides. + + VIII. + + But if I must wage war, + If so necessity commands, + Follow, my friends, advance your hands, + Let us commence the pleasing jar. + With wreaths of ivy be our temples bound, + Hark! to arms, to arms, they sound, + Th’ alarm to battle calls, + Lend me your formidable Thyrse, ye Bacchanals. + Double your strokes. Bold----bolder yet, + ’Tis done-------- How many rivals conquer’d lie? + How many hardy combatants submit? + O son of Jupiter, thy deity, + And sovereign power, we own, and aid divine; + Nothing but heaps of jolly topers slain + I see extended on the plain, + Floating in ruddy streams of reeking wine. + + IX. + + Io victoria to our king, + To Bacchus songs of triumph let us sing; + His great immortal name + Let us aloud to distant worlds proclaim. + Io victoria to our king, + To Bacchus grateful strains belong; + O! may his glories live in endless song, + The vanquish’d welt’ring on the sand, + One health from us their conqu’ror demand. + Fill me a bumper. Trumpet sound, + Second my voice, loud, louder yet, + Sound our exploits, and their defeat, + Who quiet, undisturb’d, possess the ground. + Io victoria to our king, + To Bacchus, songs of triumph let us sing. + +To this great work now finished (God be thanked) I subscribe as usual in +the like cases of books, for I love decorum, and have an utter aversion +to particularity, prolixity, and circumlocution. I say, to make short, +I subscribe as usual, &c. in the like cases, &c. for I love, &c. and +have an aversion, &c. the universally famous and most noted name which +is subscribed to all books by what name or titles dignified or +distinguished: or of what sort, species, size, dimension, or magnitude +soever, pamphletary and voluminous; whether they be first or foremost, +plays, either comical, tragical, comi-tragical, tragi-comical, or +pastoral; godly, or profane songs or ballads; sermons high or low, +popish or protestant, dissenting, independent, enthusiastical, +Brownistical, heterodox, or orthodox; Philadelphian, Muggletonian, +Sacheverelian, or Bangorian, quaking, rhapsodical, prophetical, or +nonsensical; legends golden or plain; breviaries, graduals, missals, +pontificals, ceremonials, antiphonaries, statutes, spelling-books. +Or, secondly and lastly, tracts, treatises, essays; pandects, codes, +institutes; primers, rosaries, romances; travels, synods, history books; +digests, decretals, lives; commentaries anagogical, allegorical, or +tropological; journals, expositions, vocabularies, pilgrimages, manuals, +indexes common or expurgatorial; almanacks, bulls, constitutions, or +lottery books, viz. i. e. namely, to wit, or, that is to say, + +FINIS. + +Which being interpreted is, + +_THE END_. + + + + +POSTSCRIPT. + + +Having received the following letter from a merry friend, wherein are +some (not unpleasant) remarks on the foregoing treatise, I thought fit +to send it to the press, which the reader, as he is at liberty either to +read, or let alone, so it is the same thing to me, whether he does read +it, or let it alone. + +To the renowned Boniface Oinophilus de Monte Fiascone, A. B. C. author +of the most inimitable (and non-pareil) treatise, Ebrietatis Encomium, +to be left with that mirror of privative perspicuity, Signor Edemondo +Curluccio, at the Bible and Dial, over against Catherine-Street, in the +Strand. + +Right trusty, and well-beloved, I greet you well, + +Having perused (at the bookseller’s, who shewed me the sheets) your +Ebrietatis Encomium all through, even unto Finis, or the End, I own I +was not a little diverted thereat. But as I never flatter any body, so +my friends may least of all expect I should begin with them. I must, +therefore, be frank and free with you, most renowned and +never-to-be-forgotten Boniface, _post nullos memorande sodales_, and +tell you, that you have omitted several things very material, and highly +conducible to the elucidation, or illustration, (choose you whether) of +your agreeable subject. But perhaps they either did not occur to your +memory; or, which is the same thing, (_quoad lectorem_) you were +entirely ignorant of them, but which take as follow. + +First and foremost, amongst your philosophers, you have taken no notice +of the stupendous Des Cartes, with his wonderful system of whirlpools +(vortices) and particles, cubic, conic, striate, oblong, globular, +hooked, crooked, spiral and angular: for who the devil but a mere tipsy, +giddy brains, could have dished up such a confounded hotch-potch and +gallimatias of whimsical rotations, or fancied that the whole earth +whirled round like a town-top, had not _Vinorum materia subtilis_, +the circling effluvia of _Liber Pater_, abundantly invaded his capital +regions. + + So have I seen in days of yore a dame, + At Winchester, who seventy winters knew, + Not more nor less, my mistress then yclept, + Hight Margaret, deceas’d long since I trow, + Whose fate I thus bemoan’d in song sublime. + She’s gone, alas! the beauteous nymph is dead, + Dead to my hopes, and all my eager wishes: + Such is the state of poor unhappy man, + All things soon pass away, nought permanent, + That rolls beneath the vortex of the moon. + So when we’ve screw’d up to the highest Peg[1] + Our ample lines of future happiness, + Some disappointments dire, or chance disastrous, + Snaps the extended chords. Oh! then farewell, + No more shall visual ray of form acute + Affect her wondrous mien. Farewell those lips + Of sapphire tincture, gums of crocus die + Freed from th’ungrateful load of cumbrous teeth. + Mantle farewell, of grograin brown compos’d, + Studded with silver clasp in number plural: + With jacket short, so famous, tory red, + Not hemm’d, but bound about with good galloon + Of deepest mazarine (delightful hue!) + Farewell (I sighing speak) those non-such shoes + Of obfusc colour (heel of form cylindrous) + Worn only upon days non-ferial. + In love’s true knot of verdant ferrit tied. + + But Oh! farewell, a long and last farewell, + To large Ampull with vital water fraught, + Wherein the effluvia soft and delicate + Of dulcet aniseseed (not coriander) + In its capacious rim of form anguillar + Whirl in sweet vortex. Hence it was observ’d, + The subtile matter, when in throat retir’d, + Kept still its roulant quality, and oft + Would mount in circling spires to pericranium + Of she-philosopher, when in elbow chair, + Deep and profound, would the grave matron reve, + And learnedly pronounce (like great RENATUS[2]) + With equal verity the world turns round. + +Secondly and foremost, you should have added at the end of the +philosophers chapter, the song of the Tippling Philosophers, which I +send you here enclosed. + +The bookseller to whom I mentioned this, fancied truly, that you might +think it too mean and trifling to insert. But without troubling myself +to know, whether this be your sentiment, or whether he spoke this of his +own head, I shall trouble myself to tell you, as this song is taken from +an excellent French one, which you may find in a very famous book[3], +and which (to follow your method) you may know by the note at the +bottom. The song (whether you have ever seen it, or not, I neither know, +nor do I care) is as follows, and will go with the same tune as the +English (if I am not mistaken). + + + [Footnote 1: You must remember my Mrs.’s name was Margaret.] + + [Footnote 2: Des Cartes’s christian name.] + + [Footnote 3: Fureteriana, p. 205.] + + + + +CHANSON A BOIRE. + + + I. + + Je cherche en vin la vérité, + Si le vin n’aide a ma foiblesse, + Toute la docte antiquité + Dans le vin puisa la sagesse. + Oui c’est par le bon vin que le bon sens eclate + J’en atteste Hypocrate, + Qui dit qu’il fait a chaque mois + Du moins s’enivrer une fois. + + II. + + Socrate cet homme discret + Que toute la terre revere, + Alloit manger au cabaret + Quand sa femme etoit en colere. + Pouvons-nous mieux faire que d’imiter Socrate + Et de suivre Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + III. + + Platon est nommé le divin + Parce qu’il etoit magnifique, + Et qu’il regala de son vin + La cabale philosophique. + Sa table fût toujours splendide et delicate, + Il suivit Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + IV. + + Aristotle bûvoit autant, + Et nous avons lieu de le croire + De ce qu’Alexandre le grand, + Son disciple, aimoit tant a boire, + Qu’il degela cent fois sur les bords de l’Euphrate + En suivant Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + V. + + L’on veut que Diogene aimoit l’eau, + Mais il n’eut point cette folie, + Il se logea dans un tonneau + Pour sentir le gout de la lie. + Et pour mieux boire au pot, il jetta la sa jatte + Et tint pour Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + VI. + + Democrite près de sa fin, + Par une invention jolie, + En flairant seulement le vin, + De trois jours prolonga sa vie. + Le vin retarde plus la mort, qu’il ne la háte, + Temoin notre Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + VII. + + Heraclite toujours etoit + En pleurs a cè que dit l’histoire, + Mais ce que le vin lui sortoit + Par les yeux à force de boire. + Par ce remede seul il guerissoit sa rate + Comme ordonne Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + VIII. + + Epicure sans contredit, + De bons bûveurs est le vrai pere, + Et sa morale nous induit + Au plaisir, a la bonne chere. + En vain l’homme ici bas d’un autre bien se flatte; + Suivons donc Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + IX. + + Esope quelque fois la nuit, + De complot avec la servante, + Chalumoit sans faire de bruit + Les tonneaux de son maitre Xante. + Il en eut mis dix pots sous sa grosse omoplate, + Il suivit Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + X. + + Galen, ce fameux docteur + En traittant du jus de la vigne, + Dit qu’il faut defendre le cœur + Contre la qualité maligne + Qui trouble nos humeurs, les altere et les gâte + Et rapporte Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + + + +THE TIPLING PHILOSOPHERS. + + + I. + + Diogenes, surly and proud, + Who snarl’d at the Macedon youth, + Delighted in wine that was good, + Because in good wine there is truth; + But growing as poor as a Job, + Unable to purchase a flask, + He chose for his mansion a tub, + And liv’d by the scent of the cask, &c. + + II. + + Heraclitus ne’er would deny, + To tipple and cherish his heart, + And when he was maudlin he’d cry, + Because he had empty’d his quart: + Tho’ some are so foolish to think + He wept at men’s folly and vice, + ’Twas only his fashion to drink + Till the liquor flow’d out of his eyes. + + III. + + Democritus always was glad + Of a bumper to cheer up his soul, + And would laugh like a man that was mad, + When over a good flowing bowl. + As long as his cellar was stor’d, + The liquor he’d merrily quaff, + And when he was drunk as a lord + At those that were sober he’d laugh. + + IV. + + Copernicus too like the rest, + Believ’d there was wisdom in wine, + And thought that a cup of the best + Made reason the better to shine. + With wine he’d replenish his veins, + And make his philosophy reel, + Then fancy’d the world, like his brains, + Turn’d round like a chariot wheel. + + V. + + Aristotle, that master of arts, + Had been but a dunce without wine, + And what we ascribe to his parts, + Is due to the juice of the vine. + His belly most writers agree, + Was as big as a watering-trough, + He therefore leap’d into the sea, + Because he’d have liquor enough. + + VI. + + Old Plato, that learned divine, + He fondly to wisdom was prone, + But had it not been for good wine, + His merits had never been known; + By wine we are generous made, + It furnishes fancy with wings, + Without it we ne’er shou’d have had + Philosophers, poets, or kings. + +Thirdly and lastly, I wish in Chap. XXIII. in your answer to the +objection, “That one cannot trust a man that gets drunk,” you had been +pleased to have taken notice of the taciturnity and continency of the +right worshipful the free masons in this respect. For though otherwise +they are _free_ enough of speech, yet I do assure you, as to secrets, +though some of them love the creature very heartily, and carouse +abundantly, yet has it never been known, though never so fuddled, (for +free masons will get fuddled,) that they ever discovered any of their +secrets. This is irresistible, irrefragable, irrefutable, or if you +will, to speak (_norunt dialectici_) _in stylo infinito_, +non-resistible, non-refragable, and non-refutable, and, indeed, is my +_Argumentum palmare Scotisticum_. + +But, and Fourthly also, and Finally, you will give me leave to remark to +you, That in relation to St. Boniface’s cup, which you take notice of in +Chap. XI. p. 68, l. 13, I do assure you, sir, the practice was some +years ago, to my certain knowledge, much in vogue, (and, as I am +credibly informed, is still wonderfully catholic,) and, by the bye, +take the following relation. + +In the beginning of the last wars, when I was very young, I had the +misfortune to be prisoner in Luxembourg, and not too civilly treated by +the governor, the morose Count Dautel. Close confinement, (though in the +postmaster’s house,) with the unusual smell of the stoves, (for it was +in the cold month of March,) made me very ill, and worse, in all +probability, should have been, had I not obtained the liberty of the +town, which, after many fruitless solicitations, I despaired, from the +ill-natured governor, nor should ever have had, were it not by the +pressing instance of Father Cripps, a German Franciscan friar, of the +convent of Luxembourg, whom they called there Heer[1] Cripps, being +confessor to the governor, and having been once sent on a message of +moment from him to the king of Spain, Philip the Fifth, now reigning. + +This Father was really a good man, and a man of honour; him I gained by +the good-nature of the postmaster, whose son was then in his noviceship, +in the noviciate of their Order at Ulflingen. I need not tell you, that +by noviceship is meant that year of probation, which those who have a +mind to enter into any religious order in the church of Rome, must pass +through, before they can be professed, or take their vows. This you, +who have been abroad, must know as well as I. + +This good father, with much ado, obtained what I desired from the +governor, who he said was, _homo mirabilis in negotiis suis_, which, by +the sequel of his discourse, I understood signified, a very strange man +in his affairs. Gratitude obliged me to invite this reverend father to a +glass of Rhenish, the wine of the country, which, he frankly accepted of +in the afternoon, and, indeed, drank very plentifully, more Germanorum, +as you have described. But though he would drink largely as well as his +companion, yet I must own, that in none of the many merry bouts we had +together (for he visited me very often afterwards, as I did him, I never +saw him so far advanced as to lose his reason) he never failed a large +glass brimful to St. Boniface, which he drank to the pious memory of the +good Father, _ad piam memoriam boni patris_, and sometimes only to the +good Father, _ad bonum patrem_. I found afterwards the same laudable +custom of St. Boniface’s cup in the Low Countries, France and Italy, &c. +amongst the religious. + +And now, before I subscribe myself, + + Sir, + + Your most obedient, &c. + +give me leave to tell you, that the French religious, who do not speak +much Latin, drink healths in their own language. But I was surprised, +when I heard in a certain monastery every one of the fathers drink a +full glass to each other in these words, “a bumper,” as I thought. I am +obliged to your reverence (reverend father, said I to the procurator, +who sat next me, and drank to me in the same words) in drinking in our +country language, you do me a great deal of honour. It may be your +country phrase, said the prior to me, very gravely, for what I know; +your countrymen make use of a great many of our words, but the thing +itself, let the word (or _vox significans_) be what it will, the thing +(or _res significata_) is very laudable, and every one will practise, +who has any respect for the sacred see, holy church, and the good of his +own soul. Did you never hear of the indulgences that the good father, +holy pope St. Boniface, has granted to such as drink his cup, and which +we have just now piously done? I ask your reverence’s pardon, reverend +father, said I, I thought we had only been drinking a bumper to one +another. _Seulement au bon pere_! replied he a little warmly (for the +conversation was all in French, and which word I till then mistook for a +bumper.) Why, that is all, said he, _mais_ (continued he) _c’êtoit au +bon pere_ Saint Boniface. You see, sir, the _double entendre_[2], and +that drinking of bumpers, which some precisians have ignorantly called +profane, is a practice very orthodox and catholic. + +_Heigh Church militant, rare Church militant, dainty Church +militant, O_! + +_Dub. Dub. Dub. Dub a dub. Dub. Dub._ + +_Tan. Tan. Tan. Tan. tara rara ra._ + + _Adieu, mon tres-cher,_ + _Votre ami tres-affectioné_ + _&_ + _Valet bien humble_ + + May 1, 1723, + From my Garret in + Bandy-legged Walk. + + F. SANS-TERRE. + + _P.S._ I paid the waterman six-pence. + + +FINIS. + + + [Footnote 1: Heer, in High Dutch, is the same as Monsieur in + French, and is given to persons of the highest destinction.] + + [Footnote 2: The transition from _au bon pere_, which is pure + French, to a _bumper_, is very natural, and infinitely more so, + than that golden pippin should be derived from Cooper, which was + said to be effected, in process of time, after this manner, + Cooper, Hooper, Roper, Diaper, Napkin, Pipkin, King Pepin, Golden + Pippin.] + + + + +_Lately published by C. CHAPPLE, Pall Mall_. + + +Embellished with an interesting Frontispiece, designed by Craig, +and engraved by Rhodes, price 7s. extra boards, small 8vo. + +1. THE TEST OF VIRTUE, and other Poems. + By the late Miss P. Barrel. + +2. RELIGIONISM, or POPULAR PREACHERS, alias PULPITEERS, a Satire, price +4s. boards. + +3. POETICAL PANTHEON; or, Fabulus History of the Heathen Gods and +illustrious Heroes, with Notes, and embellished with twelve elegant +Engravings, rendered into easy Verse. By W. R. Johnson, A.M. price 6s. +extra boards. + +4. POEMS; chiefly Comic and Hudibrastic, containing Burlesque +Translations, Dramatic Pieces, and Miscellanies. By W. C. Oulton, Esq. +With a Portrait of the Author, Price 9s. boards. + +This volume includes some Dramas, Addresses, Songs, &c. which have been +performed, spoken, and sung at the different Theatres. + +5. LOVE OUTRIGHT!!! By a Lady. Small 4to. price 7s. extra boards. + +6. THE BEAUTIES OF THE ANTI-JACOBIN, or WEEKLY EXAMINER; containing the +whole of the excellent Poetry, and the permanent Parts of the Prose of +that highly esteemed Work. 1 vol. demy 12mo. 5s. boards. + +7. LOVE’S LYRICS; or, CUPID’S CARNIVAL; original and translated. By +J. Scott Byerley, Esq. + + “Frustra laborat, qui omnibus placere studet.” + +small 8vo. price 7s. extra boards. + + * * * * * + * * * * + * * * * * + +Errors and Inconsistencies (noted by transcriber) + +_Errors in French are noted separately, below._ + +Most non-standard spellings are carried over from the 1723 original. + +The title page of the 1723 edition included this paragraph, immediately +before the author’s name: + + Confirmed by the example of heathens, Turks, infidels, + primitive Christians, saints, popes, bishops, doctors, + philosophers, poets, free masons, and other men of learning + in all ages + +Corrected text: + + Omnes unius estimemus assis. [uninus] + Montaigne[7] tells us [tell us; _1723 has “tells”_] + in his apology for Herodotus [hi apology: _1723 has “his”_] + PS. Cum coronâ ebrium [P. S.] + pars ego sæpe fui [sepæ] + Hic segetes, illic veniunt fælicius uvæ. + [Hic segetis; misspelling “fælicius” for “felicius” unchanged] + There grows also most excellent wines in France [text unchanged] + +Unchanged text: + + holydays [one word] + weild + frier [“friar” also occurs] + ... lets put ... [no apostrophe] + desert [modern spelling “dessert”] + desart [modern spelling “desert” (noun)] + THE TIPLING PHILOSOPHERS. [spelled “tippling” elsewhere] + [Advertising] Fabulus History + + [Some Latin passages use the abbreviation “q;” for “que”.] + Quis tulerit Gracchos de seditione quærentes. + [error for “querentes”] + mæchos [correct form is “mœchos”; ae/oe variation is common] + + Spelling of names (representative list): + Final “e” omitted: Jerom, Augustin + Simple “e” for “ae” or “æ”: Lacedemonia, Cecilius, Megera, Eschylus + French forms: Gascogn, Trimalchion + +Punctuation and Typography: + + [Contents] CHAP. II. That Wine ... [CHAP II.] + [Contents] out-of-the-Way Thoughts [out-of-the-Way-Thoughts] + Be merry to-day, depend not on to-morrow [1723 has hyphen] + _... ex superfluorum potuum indulgentia[2]_. [” at end] + “Sanctus Dominicus sit [‘ for ”] + “Illa dies hæc est [‘ for ”] + but undoubtedly Bacchus is your liber pater + [invisible hyphen at line-break “un-/doubtedly”] + [Chapter XVI] [Footnote 21: Voyag. t. ii. p. 129.] [t. ii p. 129.] + _Hanno_[11], says he ... [not italicized] + say this, or that, of us----. [. missing] + +Unchanged quotation marks (unless otherwise noted, close quote is +missing at end): + + a perfect cure for heaviness and sorrow. + so far as an old drunkard[8]. + That experience proves ... people that “have infinitely more wit + [1723 has open quote before “That...” instead of “have...”] + Le don de l’immortalité. + Perfusis halante mero gaudere sepulchris. + Nor this other, [open quote missing] + habitet in sicco._ To which ... addition, It is very probable + [missing close quote after “in sicco”; open quote before “It is”] + to the age of fourscore. + spending his money to no purpose[15]. + [the footnote symbols shown as [15] and [17] were also misprinted] + Crateras magnas statuunt et vina coronant. + drive away care. ... pellite curas._” + [close quote should be after “care”] + namely, eloquence. + +French: + +_Unless otherwise noted, accents were printed as shown. This includes +pairs such as a:à and ou:où. Some questioned readings were checked +against the 1714 French original._ + + Qu’ importe si c’est un plaisir, [Qu’ importe] + “Oui, Thirsis, c’est le vin qui nous fait rejeunir, [cest] + Le regret de choses passees, [possees] + Chaque coup m’ôte la memorie [memorie] + Nous la permet pour la santé!” [sante] + Qu’il faut a chaque mois. [Qui’l] + Venez yvresse temeraire, + Transports ignorez du vulgaire [temerarie ... vulgarie] + “Nous devons tous boire en repos [boirè] + Son noms ses armes sont des pots [son noms] + “De ceux qui vivent dans l’histoire, [historie] + Ma foi je n’envierai le sort. [fois] + Nargues du Temple de Memoire [Memorie] + J’aime bien mieux vivre pendant ma vie [ma vin] + Mais que te sert il que ta gloire [glorie] + Quand tu seras mangé des vers? [mangè] + Elle-même joüit des objets qu’elle a feints. + [Elle-méme joûit l’objets qu’elle a fenits: + _line corrected from 1714 original_] + “[10]Bûveurs brisez le joug d’une raison trop fiere [Bûveur’s briser] + D’autres enseignent l’art d’augmenter sa lumiere [d’augmente] + Mais l’art de l’eteindre est plus beau.” [l’art eteindre] + Qui dit qu’il faut a chaque mois [fait] + De ce qu’Alexandre le grand, [qu’ Alexandre] + Le vin retarde plus la mort, qu’il ne la hâte, [háte] + En pleurs a ce que dit l’histoire, [cè] + Au plaisir, a la bônne chere. [bônne] + +Greek: + + φεύ τινες ὕδωρ / πίνουσι μανίην σώφρονα μαινόμενοι. + + Quotation as printed: + φεύ τίνες ὔδωρ / πίυουσι μανίην σώφρονα μαινόμενοι. + [The 1723 edition, or its reprint, has far more errors.] + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ebrietatis Encomium, by +Boniface Oinophilus and Albert-Henri de Sallengre + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK EBRIETATIS ENCOMIUM *** + +***** This file should be named 29188-0.txt or 29188-0.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/9/1/8/29188/ + +Produced by Louise Hope, Curtis Weyant and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by the Posner Memorial Collection +(http://posner.library.cmu.edu/Posner/)) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/29188-0.zip b/29188-0.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..fe90230 --- /dev/null +++ b/29188-0.zip diff --git a/29188-8.txt b/29188-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4628ec1 --- /dev/null +++ b/29188-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,5548 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Ebrietatis Encomium, by +Boniface Oinophilus and Albert-Henri de Sallengre + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Ebrietatis Encomium + or, the Praise of Drunkenness + +Author: Boniface Oinophilus + Albert-Henri de Sallengre + +Translator: Robert Samber + +Release Date: June 21, 2009 [EBook #29188] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK EBRIETATIS ENCOMIUM *** + + + + +Produced by Louise Hope, Curtis Weyant and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by the Posner Memorial Collection +(http://posner.library.cmu.edu/Posner/)) + + + + + + + +[Transcriber's Note: + +This text is intended for users whose text readers cannot use the "real" +(Unicode/UTF-8) version. A few letters such as "oe" have been unpacked, +and curly quotes and apostrophes have been replaced with the simpler +"typewriter" form. Greek quotations have been transliterated and shown between +marks+. + +This book was originally published in 1714 as "Eloge de l'Yvresse" +by Albert-Henri de Sallengre, and translated in 1723 by Robert Samber +with the present title. The 1812 edition updates the spelling and +punctuation, and omits part of the title page (see Errata), but is +otherwise the same text. + +In the original text, footnotes were identified with * and other marks. +For this e-text they have been numbered from 1 within each chapter. +Footnotes added by the transcriber are identified with letters [1a] and +[[double brackets]]. The word "possibly" means that an attribution +exists but the transcriber has not personally seen the source text. + +Typographical errors are listed at the end of the e-text. Unless +otherwise noted, quotation marks are as printed.] + + * * * * * + * * * * + * * * * * + + [Illustration: VIVIMUS DUM BIBIMUS] + + + + + _EBRIETATIS ENCOMIUM_: + + or, the + PRAISE + of + DRUNKENNESS: + + Wherein Is Authentically, + and + Most Evidently Proved, + + THE NECESSITY + of + FREQUENTLY GETTING DRUNK; + + And, That the Practice Is Most Ancient, + Primitive, and Catholic. + + + By + BONIFACE OINOPHILUS, + De Monte Fiascone, A. B. C. + + + Vinum ltificans cor hominis. + Narratur et prisci Catonis, + Spe mero caluisse virtus. --HOR. + + + _LONDON:_ + Printed For C. Chapple, Pall Mall. + + 1812. + + + + +Harding & Wright, Printers, St. John's Square, London. + + + + +EBRIETATIS ENCOMIUM: + +OR, THE + +PRAISE OF DRUNKENNESS + + + + +THE + +PREFACE. + + +If ever preface might serve for an apology, certainly this ought to do +so. The bare title of the book is enough to have it universally cried +down, and to give the world an ill opinion of its author; for people +will not be backward to say, that he who writes the Praise of +Drunkenness, must be a drunkard by profession; and who, by discoursing +on such a subject, did nothing but what was in his own trade, and +resolved not to move out of his own sphere, not unlike Baldwin, +ashoe-maker's son, (and a shoe-maker), in the days of yore, who +published a treatise on the shoes of the ancients, having a firm +resolution strictly to observe this precept, _Ne sutor ultra crepidam_. + +To this I answer, I am very well contented, that the world should +believe me as much a drunkard, as Erasmus, who wrote The Praise of +Folly, was a fool, and weigh me in the same balance. + +But some will say, what good can a man propose to himself in being a +panegyrist for drunkenness? To solve this difficulty I shall make use of +a comparison. + +M. Pelisson, in his History of the French Academy, says, that Menage did +not compose that famous Requete des Dictionaires, in which he ridicules +all the academics, on account of any aversion he had to them, but purely +to divert himself, and not to lose the witty turns that came into his +head upon that subject. In the same manner, Ideclare that I did not +undertake this work on account of any zeal I have for wine, you must +think, but only to divert myself, and not to lose a great many curious +remarks I have made upon this most catholic liquid. + +It may farther be objected, that this work is so stuffed with +quotations, that they hinder the book itself from being seen; like what +I heard say of a country fellow, who complained when he left London, +that he could not see it for the houses. As an excuse for all the +others, Ishall make use of one quotation more, and this I shall borrow +from Mr. Bayle.[1] "There is no room to doubt," says he, "but some +readers will judge, that there are a little too many quotations in this +work, which is no less a disorder, they will say, than what happens in +some cities, where the strangers are more numerous than the citizens. +But of what importance is it to travellers, that such disorder appears +in any country, provided they find in it honest folks. There is no +reason why reading may not be compared to travelling. We should +therefore be very little concerned, whether, according to the ancient +country frugality, we are entertained with what is of its proper growth; +or if, instead of the flesh of domestic animals, and the fruits of our +own vineyards and gardens, we are served with what comes from the +market. That which really is of consequence is, that the meat be +wholesome and well dressed, and the wine good, &c. _Unde habeat qurat +nemo, sufficit habere._" + +As to the rest, I am very far from the sentiments of a certain writer, +who having found in his book _one_ fault only, consulted one of his +friends, whether he should put down Errata or Erratum. For my part, +Isubscribe with all my heart to the Errata of Benserade, and in his +words frankly own, that + + Pour moy, parmi des fautes innombrables, + Je n'en connois que deux considerables, + Et dont je fais ma declaration, + C'est l'entreprise et l'execution, + A mon avis fautes irreparables, + En ce volume. + + Though num'rous faults I see in this small book, + (And so may any one that will but look), + I know but _two_ of much consideration, + Of which I here make public declaration, + The _undertaking_ and the _execution_, + Faults too extravagant for absolution. + + + [Footnote 1: Pref. des Rep. aux Quest. d'un Pr. T.1.] + + + + +CONTENTS. + + Page. + CHAP. I. That one must be Merry 1 + CHAP. II. That Wine drives away Sorrow, and excites Mirth 16 + CHAP. III. That it is good for one's Health + to get Drunk sometimes 29 + CHAP. IV. That old People ought to get Drunk sometimes 35 + CHAP. V. That Wine creates Wit 38 + CHAP. VI. That Wine makes one Eloquent 46 + CHAP. VII. That Wine acquires Friends, and reconciles Enemies 49 + CHAP. VIII. That the Custom of getting Drunk is most ancient 53 + CHAP. IX. That the Primitive Christians got Drunk 57 + CHAP. X. Of Churchmen 61 + CHAP. XI. Of Popes, Saints, and Bishops, + that used to get Drunk 67 + CHAP. XII. A Catalogue of some illustrious Topers 73 + CHAP. XIII. Of Philosophers that used to get Drunk 78 + CHAP. XIV. Of Poets that used to get Drunk 85 + CHAP. XV. Of Free Masons, and other learned Men, + that used to get Drunk 88 + CHAP. XVI. Of Nations that used to get Drunk 104 + CHAP. XVII. Of the Drunkenness of the Germans 112 + CHAP. XVIII. Of Nations that get Drunk with certain Liquors 121 + CHAP. XIX. Other Considerations in favour of Drunkenness 126 + CHAP. XX. An Answer to the Objection, That Drunkenness + causes infinite Evils 130 + CHAP. XXI. An Answer to the Objection, That the Mirth + which Wine inspires is chimerical 133 + CHAP. XXII. An Answer to the Objection, That one loses + one's Reason in getting Drunk 142 + CHAP. XXIII. An Answer to the Objection, That one cannot + trust a Man that gets Drunk 150 + CHAP. XXIV. An Answer to the Objection, That Drunkenness + makes one incapable of performing the Duties of civil Life 152 + CHAP. XXV. Burlesque, ridiculous, and out-of-the-Way + Thoughts against Drunkenness 157 + CHAP. XXVI. A ridiculous Aversion that some have to Wine 160 + CHAP. XXVII. Rigorous Laws against Wine and Drunkenness 164 + CHAP. XXVIII. Rules to be observed in getting Drunk. + I.Not too often. II. In good Company 169 + CHAP. XXIX. Third Rule, With good Wine 171 + CHAP. XXX. Fourth Rule, At convenient Times 177 + CHAP. XXXI. Fifth Rule, To force no one to drink 181 + CHAP. XXXII. Sixth Rule, Not to push Drunkenness too far 184 + POSTSCRIPT 193 + + + + + The + + PRAISE + + of + + DRUNKENNESS + + + + +CHAP. I. + +THAT ONE MUST BE MERRY. + + +If on one hand I have reason to fear that the title of this book will +offend the delicate ears of a great many, and make them say, that no +vice ever wanted its advocate, _Nullo vitio unquam defuit advocatus_; I +am not, perhaps, less exposed on the other to the criticisms of as many +folks, who will probably apply to me that which was said heretofore to +one in Lacedemonia, who had a mind to make an encomium on Hercules, viz. +Who ever blamed Hercules? + + Quis Herculem vituperavit? + +However, though I should have no readers at all, yet am I resolved to +continue my discourse at the hazard, in some manner, of imitating Pyrrho +the philosopher, who one day, as he was haranguing the people, seeing +himself abandoned by all his auditors, pursued very magnanimously his +declamation to the end. To enter, therefore, upon the present subject, +Ilay down this as my first position, viz. That it is lawful to get +drunk sometimes. Which I prove thus:-- + +Sadness is in the highest degree prejudicial to health, and causes +abundance of distempers. There is no one ignorant of this truth. Joy +(ormirth) on the contrary, prevents and forces them away. It is, as the +Arabians say, the flower and spirit of a brisk and lively health[1]. Let +us run over, and examine all the different states of life, and we shall +be forced to own, that there is not one of them all but what is subject +to chagrin and sadness; and, consequently, that joy, or mirth, is most +necessary to men. Which very probably the philosopher had in his head, +when he defined man a risible animal. But be that as it will, one must +certainly look upon that maxim which recommends mingling of pleasures +with the affairs of life as a very wise one. + + Sometimes with mirth and pleasure lard your cares[2]. + +We shall confirm this precept by a beautiful passage out of Seneca, +whose writings most certainly contain no loose morality, and which is as +follows:-- "The soul must not be always bent: one must sometimes allow +it a little pleasure. Socrates was not ashamed to pass the time with +children. Cato enjoyed himself in drinking plentifully, when his mind +had been too much wearied out in public affairs. Scipio knew very well +how to move that body, so much inured to wars and triumphs, without +breaking it, as some now-a-days do, with more than womanly pleasures; +but as people did in past times, who would make themselves merry on +their festivals, by leading a dance really worthy men of those days, +whence could ensue no reproach, when even their very enemies had seen +them dance. One must allow the mind some recreation: it makes it more +gay and peaceful. And as it is not good too much to cultivate soil the +most fertile, least, by yielding too large crops, it may soon run to +decay and ruin: so in the same manner is the mind broken by a continued +labour and application. Those who respite a little, regain their +strength. Assiduity of labour begets a languor and bluntness of the +mind: for sleep is very necessary to refresh us, and yet he that would +do nothing else but sleep night and day, would be a dead man and no +more. There is a great deal of difference between loosening a thing, and +quite unravelling it. Those who made laws have instituted holydays, to +oblige people to appear at public rejoicings, in order to mingle with +their cares a necessary temperament. There have been several very great +men (asI have mentioned) who would set apart certain days of the month +for that end; and some others, who had every day set hours for work, and +other set hours for recreation. One must therefore allow the mind some +recreation. One must allow it some repose and leisure, which may serve +for new strength and nourishment. You must sometimes walk in the open +air, that the mind may exalt itself by viewing the heavens, and +breathing the air at your ease; sometimes take the air in your chariot, +the roads and the change of the country will re-establish you in your +vigour; or you may eat and drink a little more plentifully than usual. +Sometimes one must go even as far as to get drunk; not, indeed, with an +intention to drown ourselves in wine, but to drown our cares. For wine +drives away sorrow and care, and goes and fetches them up from the +bottom of the soul. And as drunkenness cures some distempers, so, in +like manner, it is a sovereign remedy for our sorrows[3]." + +It must be confessed, indeed, that properly speaking, this passage of +Seneca is levelled only against too great assiduity in labour and +business; the application, however, is very just, in relation to +chagrin, which causes in men's minds a far greater alteration than can +be excited by the most rude labour either of mind or body. + +The ancients had, besides this, another motive which induced them to +make merry, and pass their time agreeably. They considered the short +duration of their life, and for that reason endeavoured to make the best +use of it they could. It will be no difficult matter for me to prove +what I here advance. + +Every one knows that the Egyptians made use of a very extraordinary +custom in their festivals. They shewed to every guest a skeleton: this, +according to some, was to make them think of death. Others again assure +us, "That this strange figure was made use of to a quite contrary end; +that this image of death was shewn for no other intent but to excite +them to pass away their life merrily, and to employ the few days of its +small duration to the best advantage; as having no other condition to +expect after death, but that of this frightful skeleton[4]." + +This last sentiment is, without doubt, most probable; for what +likelihood is there that people would make reflections the most sad and +serious, at a time when they proposed only to divert, and make +themselves merry. This influence had the sight of a skull upon the mind +of Trimalchion, who Petronius[5] tells us, thus expressed himself on +that object:-- "Alas! alas! wretched that we are! what a nothing is poor +man! we shall be all like this, when Fate shall have snatched us hence. +Let us therefore rejoice, and be merry while we are here." The Latin is +much stronger:-- + + Heu! heu! nos miseros! quam totus homuncio nil est, + Sic erimus cuncti, postquam nos auferet orcus. + Ergo vivamus, dum licet esse, bene. + +A little before he said almost the same thing. "Alas! wine therefore +lives longer than man, let us then sit down and drink bumpers; life and +wine are the same thing." _Heu! heu! ergo diutius vivit vinum, quam +homuncio. Quare Tangomenas faciamus, vita vinum est._ This puts me in +mind of what Athenus[6] reports of an Egyptian, called Mycernius. This +man having been told by the oracle that he had but a very short time to +live, resolved to make the most of that short space, and to that end did +nothing but drink night and day. + +This thought of an approaching death is not so importunate as is +believed, since it is, says an[7] anonymous French author, aprincipal +beauty of an ancient hymn of the poet Cecilius. "Let me be assured, says +he, that I shall live six months, and I shall employ them so well, as to +die the seventh without any regret in the world." + +The same author goes on thus:-- "The moderns have not failed imitating +the elegant flights of the fine wits of the ancient Greeks and Romans. +Ifind, especially, that the Italians come nearer to them; perhaps, +because they are more proper than others to refine on pleasure. This is +the character of the nation, of the truth of which I shall give no other +proof than the last lines of an elegy, written by Samazarius, +aNeapolitan gentleman." The sense of which in English runs thus. + + Since vig'rous youth, all blooming, brisk, and gay, + Excites our tender souls to sport and play, + Let's taste ambrosial pleasures while we may. + Those joys to which our souls are most inclin'd, + And suit the throbbing passions of the mind. + Let's love while soft ecstatic fires engage, + And shew us lovers on the world's great stage, + Dull reason only suits with frightful age. + And see, she comes, for ever to destroy, + For ever all our bliss, and all our joy. + Unwelcome age comes on with swiftest pace; + Let's then prevent this wretched sad disgrace. + O may the terrors of approaching fate, + Excite new fires, inspire fresh vig'rous heat; + That love may sov'reign reign in ev'ry part, + And drive unworthy weakness from our heart. + Thrice happy, if surpriz'd by death one day, + Absorpt in sweetest bliss we die away. + +But to return to my subject. We are told for certain, that the Scythians +used to drink out of a skull; and probably they had the same design in +doing so as the Egyptians had in looking on their skeletons. But leaving +these objects, which cannot be very diverting, in what view soever one +may consider them, let us come to the Romans. Gruter tells us in his +Inscriptions[8], that they used to cry out at their feasts, + + AMICI, + DUM VIVIMUS, + VIVAMUS. + +That is, "Friends, while we live, let us be merry." For Raderus has +evidently made it appear, by several examples out of Catullus, Cecilius, +Varro, Anacreon, and other ancient authors, that _vivere_, or _to live_, +signifies to make merry, to give one's self up to all kinds of +pleasures, making good cheer,&c. + +I know not whether the Gascogns, who pronouncing the _V_ consonant like +_B_, instead of VIVIS _et regnas in secula seculorum_, say (asI have +been informed, how true it is I know not) BIBIS _et regnas in secula +seculorum_, are of the same sentiment with Raderus in this point: but +very probably that good honest German was, who in a kind of ecstasy over +a bottle cry'd out, + + O felices populi, quorum _vivere_ est _bibere_! + +However, to prove this, as also at the same time to confirm what has +been said above, in relation to the motives that induced people of old +times to make merry, Ishall instance some passages of the ancients. But +first let us not omit this inscription in Gruter[9], which is not much +unlike the former. + + VIVE, HOSPES, DUM LICET, ATQUE VALE. + +"Be merry, landlord, and enjoy yourself while 'tis in your power, as for +the rest, adieu." + +Martial says somewhere, "Be merry to-day, depend not on to-morrow." + + Sera nimis vita est crastina, vive hodie. + +Catullus expresses much the same sentiments in these beautiful verses:-- + + "Vivamus -------- + Rumoresq; senum severiorum, + Omnes unius estimemus assis. + Soles occidere et redire possunt; + Nobis cum semel occidit brevis lux, + Nox est perpetua una dormienda."[9a] + + "Let us be merry -------- + And all the rigid cant of peevish age, + Count as poor straws that on the surface float. + The sun may roll his swift diurnal course, + And from the ocean raise again his head, + But when our glimm'ring lamp of life's expir'd, + One long perpetual night we then must sleep." + +Horace, in several places, says how we ought (according to him) to +employ to the best advantage the little time we have to live; but +especially in one of his odes, which in English would run thus. + + I. + + "All things hereto invite. Come, come, away, + Let's seize the present hours, nor vainly care + For future time, but wisely, only fear + To lose of life one short uncertain day, + Or moment, which in death must soon decay, + No human force can her strict laws withstand: + Her cruel rigour no one spares, + The blooming cheek, and hoary hairs, + Alike submit to her victorious hand. + O'er all she bears unbounded sway, + All her impartial scythe relentless mows: + Th' ill-manner'd tyranness no difference shows, + Betwixt imperial and plebeian clay. + + II. + + When we the dark and dismal beach + Of dreaded floods below shall reach, + And vain cold phantoms quiv'ring stand, + In those sad gloomy shades of night, + No Cynthia's charms will then command, + Nor Iris with her angel's voice delight; + Nor Doris with soft dying languors move. + These dreary realms exclude, alas! for ever love. + + III. + + Nor are there any boon companions _there_, + To laugh, and sing, and make good cheer: + There shall we taste no more that wondrous juice, + That nectar which the blessed vines produce, + The height of all our joy, and wishes _here_. + Nor those sweet entertainments gay, + When by the glass inspir'd so many kings, + We tope, and speak, and do heroic things, + And count ourselves more happy far than they. + These days of ours the fatal sisters spin, + To consecrate to love and wine, + Let's now, e'er 'tis too late begin. + Alas! without these pow'rs divine + What should one do with a vain useless thread? + What does it aught avail to breathe and move? + One had as good be dead, + Much better be no more, than not to drink and love." + +I shall close this chapter with one of the Anacreontic odes of the +famous Monsieur La Motte, author of the _Fables Nouvelles_, lately +translated into English under the title of "_Court Fables_." + + "Bvons, amis, le temps s'enfuit, + Menageons bien ce court espace. + Peut-etre une eternelle nuit + Eteindra le jour qui se passe. + + Peut-etre que Caron demain + Nous recevra tous dans sa barque, + Saisissons un moment certain. + C'est autant de pris sur la parque. + + A l'envi laissons-nous saisir, + Aux transports d'une douce ivresse: + Qu'importe si c'est un plaisir, + Que ce soit folie ou sagesse." + + "Let's drink, my friends, time flies away, + Let's husband well this little space; + For what we know, this very day + May to eternal night give place. + + Let's snatch from Fate one certain minute, + Perhaps to-morrow Charon's wherry, + May every mother's son take in it, + And waft us o'er the Stygian ferry. + + In giddy transports without measure + With wine lets drown all melancholy. + No matter if it be a pleasure, + Whether 'tis wisdom call'd, or folly." + + + [Footnote 1: Elle est, comme disent les Arabes, la fleur et + l'esprit de la sant vive et remuante.] + + [Footnote 2: Interpone tuis interdum gaudia curis.] + + [Footnote 3: Seneca de Tranquilitate.] + + [Footnote 4: Histoire de Sept Sages, &c. p. 137.] + + [Footnote 5: Chap. 34.] + + [Footnote 6: Lib. 10. cap. 10.] + + [Footnote 7: Reflex. sur les Morts Plais. p. 22.] + + [Footnote 8: P. 609.] + + [Footnote 9: P. 699.] + + [[Footnote 9a: Catullus V.1-6 ("Vivamus, mea Lesbia, atque + amemus")]] + + + + +CHAP. II. + +THAT WINE DRIVES AWAY SORROW AND EXCITES MIRTH. + + +Of all the means proper to drive away sorrow, and excite mirth in the +minds of men, wine is certainly the most agreeable and efficacious. + +For in the first place it banishes all manner of cares, and makes us +entirely forget them, producing the same effect as the waters of the +River Lethe on those souls which were destined to enter into other +bodies. + + ------------ Anim quibus altera fato + Corpora debentur, Lethei ad fluminis undam + Securos latices, et longa oblivio potant[1]. + + ------------ Those souls which Fate decrees + Shall other bodies take, upon the strand + Of Lethe sit, and drink secure the flood, + And long oblivion. + +For the same reason, undoubtedly, Isidore defined drunkenness a certain +forgetfulness caused in the mind, through indulgence of immoderate +drinking. His words are these:-- _Ebrietas est per quam menti qudam +oblivio generatur ex superfluorum potuum indulgentia_[2]. + +A certain French poet[3] sings thus much in the same tune:-- + + "Oui, Thirsis, c'est le vin qui nous fait rejeunir, + Et qui bannit de nos pensees; + Le regret de choses possees, + Et le crainte de l'avenir." + + Yes, Thirsis, 'tis the vine's prolific juice + Can youth and beauty re-produce, + Banish the sad regret of former years, + And of futurity the fears. + +In the next place, wine is a sovereign remedy against a particular +species of sorrow or chagrin, Imean a sort of inward wearisomeness, +which the French call _ennui_. I shall explain myself a little farther, +and for my expositor I cannot make choice of a fitter person than Mr. de +St. Evremont[4], who, after having discoursed a little on this subject, +adds, "That good cheer with one's friends, is a sovereign remedy against +this kind of chagrin; for besides that conversation at such times +becomes more free and gay, it insensibly sweetens it. It is certain that +wine rouses up the forces of nature, and gives our soul a vigour capable +to drive away all sorts of uneasiness. Iknow very well that certain +morose people, at least externally so, and in appearance, will shew a +great deal of aversion for a remedy, the delights of which they do not, +however, too much despise. But all grimace aside. Idon't trouble myself +with their ill-understood severities, since the most severe philosopher +in the world has advised us to make use of this remedy; and the most +morose of our illustrious men have submitted, if we may say so, their +most austere virtues to the charms of this sweet pleasure; and the most +well-bred people have not disdained its usage." + +In a word, (I must speak a little French now and then,) + + [5]Le vin fait que les annees, + Nous durent moins que les journees. + + Wine makes whole years to pass away, + And seem much shorter than one day. + +But it does more than all this, it even assuages choler; it is an +admirable cataplasm for rage. To cite a vast number of examples to prove +this important truth would be superfluous. Amongst the many illustrious +ones I could instance, Ishall content myself to mention that of the +Emperor Maximin[6], who, having been declared an enemy to the people of +Rome, by the senate, fell into such a rage and fury, that no other way +could be thought on to bring him back to his natural temper than by +making him drunk. + +But let us return to the two principal qualities of wine, which consist +in driving away care and sorrow, and exciting mirth and joy. + +A certain French author[7] has a few verses on this subject, which, as +not _mal-apropos_, I shall here insert. Talking of the good qualities of +wine, he says,-- + + "Tu sais, mon cher Thirsis, qu'il a le privilege + D'etouffer les ennuis dont l'aigreur nous assiege. + Et que cette liqueur chasse de nos esprits, + Tous les facheux pensers dont nous sommes surpris, + C'est ce qui nous oblige a cherir la bouteille." + + You know, dear Thirsis, and full well you know, + To wine this privilege we owe, + It stifles all those sad invading cares + Which irksome chagrin ever wears. + + This sprightful liquid makes us brisk and gay, + And drives effectually away + Those thoughts vexatious that surprise our soul, + And makes us cherish the full bowl. + +Seneca, whom I have mentioned in the foregoing chapter, confirms what +has been said, "Sometimes," says he, "one must go even so far as +drunkenness; not, indeed, that it may drown us, but drown our cares: for +drunkenness washes away care, and moves the very bottom of the soul. And +as it is a sovereign remedy against some distempers, so is it a perfect +cure for heaviness and sorrow. _Nonnunquam usque ad ebrietatem +veniendum, non ut mergat nos, sed ut deprimat curas. Eluit enim curas, +et ab imo anim movet, et ut morbis quibusdam, ita tristiti +medetur_[8]. On this account certainly it was, Pliny maintained that +Nepenthe, whose virtues Homer so much exaggerates, was nothing in the +world but generous wine. + +Horace, in like manner, insists that wine is the only proper expeller of +the most racking cares. + + ---------------- Neque + Mordaces aliter diffugiunt sollicitudines[9]. + + Nor otherwise are cank'ring cares remov'd. + +And thus advises the sage Plancus to have recourse to this remedy:-- + + "Sic tu sapiens finire memento + Tristitiam, vitque labores + Molli, Plance, mero."[9a] + + So, thou, sage Plancus, this _memento_ keep, + To lull the cares and toils of life asleep + With cordial juleps of old mellow wine; + The grand and universal anodyne. + +In another place he thus beautifully sounds the praises of +drunkenness:-- + + "Ebrietas quid non designat? operta recludit + Spes jubet esse ratas: in prlia trudit inertem, + Sollicitis animis onus eximit: addocet artes. + Facundi calices, quem non fecere disertum? + Contracta quem non in paupertate solutum."[9b] + + In drunkenness what pow'rful magic lies, + What's most envelop'd from researching eyes, + (Transparent thing!) it evidently shows, + The innocent no dark disguises knows. + By her commands our hopes maturely rise, + Push'd on to war the coward dauntless dies, + And sinking minds beneath unwieldy care, + Cast off the load, and move with sprightful air. + To her, all arts their origin must owe: + What wretch so dull but eloquent must grow, + When the full goblets with persuasive wine, + Inebriate with bright elegance divine, + The drunken beggars plume like proudest kings, + And the poor tipsy slave in fetters sings. + +After all this, will any one accuse me for a plagiary, and that I steal +from the most common places? No matter. Ihave company enough: do not +all modern authors do so? However, Ishall not, for all that, pass over +in silence what Ovid has said of this same drunkenness. The passage is +this:-- + + "Vina parant animos, faciuntque coloribus aptos. + Cura fugit, multo diluiturque mero. + Tunc veniunt risus, tunc pauper cornua sumit, + Tunc dolor et cur, rugaque frontis abit. + Tunc aperit mentes, vo rarissima nostro + Simplicitas, artes excutiente Deo."[9c] + +As I am nothing less than a poet, I shall not presume _to dance with the +Nine Sisters_, to make use of the thought of the ingenious Sarasin. +However, here follows an Ode of Anacreon, which may supply the place of +a translation of those verses of Ovid. + + I. + + When I hold a full glass in my hand, + I laugh and I merrily sing; + I think I have sov'reign command + And the treasures possess of a king. + + II. + + Let who will try their fate in the field, + In war all their days let them pass: + No arms but the bottle I'll weild, + Fill, boy, then, a thundering glass, + + III. + + If Bacchus the victory gain, + On the ground tho' I'm motionless laid; + All agree it, _a truth very plain_, + 'Tis better be _drunk_ than be _dead_. + +And very probably the Greek philosopher had wine in view, when he caused +an inscription to be made over his door in these words, in capitals, +"Here are remedies for all sorts of afflictions: here are cures for all +distempers of the soul." + +The philosopher so often quoted by Seneca, desired no more than bread +and cheese, to rival Jupiter in happiness. For my part, though I am no +less a philosopher, yet I desire nothing to effect this but good wine. +For when I take a hearty glass, Ifind myself so much transported with +joy, that I could almost cry out with that little fool in the Latin +comedy[10], "Now could I pardon any one that would kill me, so much +afraid am I lest some accident may trouble the purity of my happiness, +and mingle some ungrateful bitter with the exquisite sweets I now +enjoy." And, indeed, it is amongst bottles and glasses that one may +truly say, + + -------- "Mediis videat discumbere in astris, + Cum Jove, et Iliac porrectum sumere dextr + Immortale merum[11]." + + Far from the earth remov'd in realms above, + I seem amongst the stars to sit with Jove: + Lolling in ease celestial, lie supine, + And taste from Ganymede immortal wine. + +And without doubt Asclepiades had all this in his head, when he +maintained that the gods produced nothing that equalled wine in +goodness. Philostratus is much of the same sentiment, who after having +taken notice of the edict of the Emperor Domitian, who forbad men to be +castrated, and vines to be planted, he adds, that this admirable emperor +did not reflect that he made the earth in some sort an eunuch, at the +same time that he spared men. + +Varro sounded the praise of drunkenness in terms no less pathetic. + + "Vino nil quicquam jucundius eluet, + Hoc continet coagulum convivii; + Hoc hilaritatis dulce seminarium + Hoc gritudinem ad medendam invenerunt."[11a] + + Than wine no orient jewels finer play, + And dart more pleasantly their glittering ray. + This vital juice, the cream of all the feast, + Strong cement, close uniting every breast, + The sweet prolific seed of gay desires, + Bright mirth, and gen'rous amity inspires. + This was found out a certain remedy + To set mankind from all distempers free. + +Monsieur La Motte, whom I must ever admire for his inimitable Court +Fables, before mentioned, will furnish us with a beautiful ode to close +this chapter[12]. + + "Bacchus contre moi tout conspire, + Viens me consoler de mes maux: + Je vois au mpris de la lire + Couronner d'indignes rivaux. + + Tout me rend la vie importune + Une volage me trahit, + J'eus peu de bien de la fortune, + L'injustice me le ravit. + + Mon plus cher ami m'abandonne, + En vain j'implore son secours, + Et la calomnie empoisonne. + Le reste de mes tristes jours. + + Bacchus viens me verser a boire + Encore----bon----je suis soulag, + Chaque coup m'te la memoire + Des maux qui m'avoient afflig. + + Verse encore----je vois l'allegresse + Nager sur le jus precieux. + Donne, redouble----O douce yvresse! + Je suis plus heureux que les dieux." + + Help, Bacchus, or I'm quite undone, + All things against my peace conspire; + Unworthy rivals many a one, + I find, despising song and lyre. + + My life's entirely irksome grown, + By an inconstant I'm betray'd, + On that small fortune, once my own, + Injustice has severely prey'd. + + Forsaken by my dearest friend, + In vain his succour I implore; + And calumnies rank poisons send, + And what is left of life devour. + + Bacchus, some wine; fill higher yet + Again----so----I some comfort find; + Each smiling glass makes me forget + Those evils that have rack'd my mind. + + Some more----I see gay images + On the rich surface sprightly move, + Fill double----O sweet drunkenness! + I'm happier than the gods above. + + + [Footnote 1: Virgil. neid. lib. vi. v. 713.] + + [Footnote 2: Lib. 3. Etymol.] + + [Footnote 3: Rec. Poes.] + + [Footnote 4: Miscel. vol. i.] + + [Footnote 5: Rec. de Poes.] + + [Footnote 6: Jul. Capit. Hist. Aug. Script. fol. p.359.] + + [Footnote 7: Nicol. Rec. de Vers. p. 44.] + + [Footnote 8: Seneca de Tranquil.] + + [Footnote 9: Lib. i. ode 18.] + + [[Footnote 9a: Horace, _Odes_ I.vii.17-19.]] + + [[Footnote 9b: Horace, _Epistulae_ I.v.16-20.]] + + [[Footnote 9c: Ovid, _Ars Amatoria_ I.237-242.]] + + [Footnote 10: Nunc est profecto cum me patior interfici, ne hoc + gaudium aliqu contaminetur gritudine. --_Eunuch._] + + [Footnote 11: Statii Sil. 2. lib. iv.] + + [[Footnote 11a: Varro, Menippean Satires, fragment from _Est + modus matulae_.]] + + [Footnote 12: Ode ix. Anacr.] + + + + +CHAP. III. + +THAT IT IS GOOD FOR ONE'S HEALTH TO GET DRUNK SOMETIMES. + + +Although mirth and joy be absolutely necessary to health, yet it must be +allowed that there are a great many pleasures very injurious and +prejudicial to it; and we should act with precaution in using those we +make choice of[1]. But this precaution is not necessary in those we seek +in the sweet juice of the grape. So far is drunkenness from prejudicing +our health, that, on the contrary, it highly preserves it. This is the +sentiment of the most able physicians. These worthy gentlemen are +arbiters of life and death. They have over us, _jus vit et necis_. We +must therefore believe them. _Ergo_, let us heartily carouse. Every one +knows that Hippocrates, the prince of physicians, prescribes getting +drunk once a month, as a thing very necessary to the conservation of +health; for, according to him, in the words of a certain French +lady[2], + + "Une utile et douce chaleur + Fait qu'on pense au sortir de table + Avoir pris de cet or potable, + Qui triomphe des ans, qui chasse la douleur, + Qui fait tout, et qui par malheur + N'a jamais t qu'une fable." + + When from the bottle, flush'd with wine, we rise, + The brisk effluvia brighten in our eyes; + This sweet and useful warmth still makes us think, + That cups of potable rich gold we drink, + Which baffles time, and triumphs over years, + Drives away grief, and sad perplexing cares; + Does all, and yet in fables sweet disguise, + O dire mishap! its only essence lies. + +"Avicenna and Rasis, most excellent physicians of Arabia, say[3], that +it is a thing very salutary and wholesome to get drunk sometimes." + +Monsieur Hofman confirms what has been just now said in relation to +Avicenna, and adds thereto the testimony of another physician. +"Avicenna," says he[4], "absolutely approves getting drunk once or twice +every month, and alleges for it physical reasons." --Dioscorides says, +"That drunkenness is not always hurtful, but that very often it is +necessary for the conservation of health." --Homer says, "That Nestor, +who lived so long, tossed off huge bocals of wine[5]." + +Monsieur Hofman believes also, that wine is an excellent preservative +against distempers, and of an admirable use in their cure. In like +manner, several divines believe, that there is no manner of harm in +getting drunk, when it is done for health's sake and not for pleasure. +In this class one may reckon Pere Taverne, aJesuit[6]. These are his +words: "Drunkenness," says he, "is a mortal sin, if one falls into it +for pleasure only; but if one gets drunk for any honest end, as for +example, by direction of one's physician in order to recover health, +there is no manner of harm in it at all." + +But, however, not to digress too much from our subject, to preserve +their health the Africans drink a great deal of wine; and this they do +to help the digestion of the vast quantity of fruits they eat. + +Montaigne[7] tells us, that he heard Silvius, an excellent physician of +Paris, say, "That to keep up the powers of the stomach, that they faint +not, it would be very proper to rouze them up once a month by this +wholesome excess. And if we believe Regnier, ayoung physician does not +see so far as an old drunkard[8]. + +We also say with the French poet[9], + + "Si Bourdaloue[10] un peu severe + Nous dit: craignez la volupt + Escobar[10], lui dit on mon pere + Nous la permet pour la sant!" + + If Bourdaloue, somewhat severe, + Warns us to dread voluptuous sweets, + Good honest father Escobar, + To fuddle for one's health permits. + +And, by the bye, if the number of physicians, who used to get drunk, +proves any thing, Icould insert a good round catalogue, amongst whom I +do not find any English doctors, for they are the most abstemious +persons in the world; however, being unwilling to trouble my gentle +reader with so long a bead-roll, Ishall instance only two very +illustrious topers of the faculty. The first is no less a man than the +great Paracelsus, who used to get drunk very often; and the other is the +famous master Dr. Francis Rabelais, who took a singular pleasure to +moisten his clay; or to make use of one of his own expressions, _Humer +le piot_. + +I could, after these, mention Patin[11], who tells us, That when he gave +his public entertainment for his _decanat_, or deanship, at which +thirty-six of his colleagues assisted, he never saw in all his life so +much toping. From all which, however, one may very reasonably infer, +that so many able persons would never have drunk so much, had they not +thought it was no ways prejudicial to their health. + +To conclude, let any one allege this verse as a maxim, that + + Pocula non ldunt paucula, multa nocent. + + It does no harm to take a glass or two, + But in great numbers mighty ills accrue. + +And I shall do myself the honour to answer him with another verse, that +sometimes + + Una salus sanis multam potare salutem[12]. + + The only health to people hale and sound, + Is to have many a tippling health go round. + +And that this is true, witness the great Hippocrates, who says, + + That what to health conduceth best, + Is fuddling once a month at least[13]. + + + [Footnote 1: _Voluptates ut mel summo digito degustand non pler + manu sumend._ Dionys. Sophron. apud Philostr.] + + [Footnote 2: Mad. Deshoul. t. ii. ep. p. 104.] + + [Footnote 3: Div. Lec. de P. Messie, part ii. ch. 15.] + + [Footnote 4: Hofman, t. ii. 9 dissert. ch. 6.] + + [Footnote 5: Bocal, an Italian word, and signifies a pot or jug + holding about three pints.] + + [Footnote 6: Synopses Theolog. Pract.] + + [Footnote 7: Essays, lib. ii. cap. 2.] + + [Footnote 8: Satir.] + + [Footnote 9: Boileau.] + + [Footnote 10: The names of two jesuits, the former a famous + preacher, and the other as famous a casuist.] + + [Footnote 11: Esprit de Pat. p. 51.] + + [Footnote 12: Owen, Ep.] + [[John Owen (1564-1622): _possibly_ I.ii.42.]] + + [Footnote 13: + Qu'il faut a chaque mois. + Du moin s'enyvrer une fois. + Fureteriana.] + + + + +CHAP. IV. + +THAT OLD PEOPLE OUGHT TO GET DRUNK SOMETIMES. + + +Wine taken with some excess is excellent for old people. + + ---- Ubi jam validis quassatum est viribus vi + Corpus et obtusis ceciderunt viribus artus[1]. + + When shaken by the powerful force of age + The body languid grows, and ev'ry joint + Its proper juice exhal'd, all feeble droops. + +And is not the reason plain? because it moistens their dry temperament, +and nourishes their radical moisture. Hence came the proverb, which +says, "That wine is the milk of old men[2]." Tirellus, in his history, +declares the same thing, when he says, "That wine is the nutriment of +natural heat[3]." Conformably to this truth that old man acted, of whom +Seneca makes mention, who being pressed to drink wine cooled in snow, +said, "That his age made him cold enough, and that he did not desire to +be more cold than he was[4]." Than which, certainly no answer could be +more just and true. + +Besides, the infirmities of an advanced age require some consolation and +diversion. Let us see what Montaigne says, who was not much given to +tippling; for he plainly says, that his gout and complexion were greater +enemies to drunkenness than his discourse. His words are these, "The +inconveniencies attending old age, which stand in need of some support +and refreshment, might with reason produce in me a desire of this +faculty, since it is as it were the last pleasure that the course of +years steals from us. The natural heat, say the boon companions, begins +first at the feet; this is the case of infancy; thence it ascends to the +middle region, where it continues a long while, and there produces in my +mind the only true pleasures of the corporal life; at last exhaling +itself like a vapour, it moves upwards, till it comes to the throat, +and there it makes its last little stay[5]." + +Athenus, after Theophrastus, says, That wine drives away those irksome +inquietudes to which old people are unhappily subject[6]. And to +conclude, the divine Plato assures us, that, "Wine is a medicine as well +for the body as the mind, the dryness of old people have great occasion +for this kind of moistening, and their severe genius of the brisk gaiety +inspired by wine, without which they would not be able to perform their +part in the concert, and consequently would be no longer useful members +in the commonwealth, which is no other ways supported and preserved than +by harmony." + + + [Footnote 1: Lucret. lib. iii.] + + [Footnote 2: Vinum lac senum.] + + [Footnote 3: Vina calidi innati pabula.] + + [Footnote 4: tas meo frigore contenta est.] + + [Footnote 5: Essays, lib. ii. cap. 2.] + + [Footnote 6: Lib. xi. cap. 7.] + + + + +CHAP. V. + +THAT WINE CREATES WIT. + + +As wine increases the quantity of animal spirits, by the fumes which it +sends to the brain, it is easy to comprehend that it cannot but be of +great advantage to dull and heavy wits; so that one may particularly +apply to them the common proverb, "Wine sets an edge to wit[1]." And the +emblem of Adr. Junius, in which he represents Bacchus as a youth with +wings on, and with this inscription, "Wine kindles wit[2]," agrees +admirably well with these people. But the application of both proverb +and emblem is no less just in relation to all the world; for it is most +certain, that the god Bacchus, by warming the thoughts, renders them +more acute, and inspires a greater plenty of witty sallies. For "Bacchus +had not the name of Lysian, or Opener, if I may use the term, bestowed +upon him for nothing but purely because he opens the mind, by putting it +into an agreeable humour, and renders it more subtile and judicious[3]." +For this reason it is grown into a proverb, That water-drinkers are not +near so knowing as those who drink wine[4]. + +Plutarch assures us, That wine collects and increases the powers of the +mind. He observes also, That it produces excellent effects on the minds +of persons, who, though naturally timid, want no penetration. Plato +maintains, as I have observed in the foregoing chapter, That wine warms +as well the mind as the body. Monsieur Hofman says a great deal more, +viz. That experience proves, that those climates which produce good +wine, produce also people that "have infinitely more wit than those of +the north, who drink nothing but beer. Gryllus believes, That the Greeks +were called fathers of wisdom, on account of the excellency of their +wine; and, that they lost their ancient lustre by reason of the Turks +rooting out their vines. The Heathens placed Pallas and Bacchus in the +same temple, to shew, that wine increased their wisdom, and that the +Gods were represented wiser than men, only because they drank nectar and +ambrosia." + +In respect of poets the world was always so sensible of the necessity +they lay under, of having their imagination roused by wine, that nobody +ever had any good opinion of the productions of a poet that drank water, +that _Non est Dythyrambus si aquam bibat_; and wine was called the poets +great horse. "There never were any excellent poets," says Mr. Bayle, +"that could versify, till after drinking pretty plentifully[5]." + +And if we believe Plato, "He could never open the gates of poesy till he +was a little beyond himself. The soul can speak nothing grand, or above +the common, if it be not somewhat agitated[6]." + +Horace[7], who knew by experience this truth, goes yet farther. + + Nulla placere diu, nec vivere carmina possint, + Qu scribuntur aqu potoribus. + + Poor water-drinkers sing an irksome tune, + Short-liv'd their numbers, and their airs jejune. + +Ovid bewailed himself very bitterly for want of wine in his exile. + + "Impetus ille sacer, qui vatum pectora nutrit + Qui prius in nobis esse solebat, abest."[7a] + + That sacred rage that feeds a poet's breast, + Common to me, is now no more possest. + +La Motte[8], my beloved Frenchman, has something not unlikeit. + + "Loin une raison trop timide + Les froids poetes qu'elle guide + Languissent et tombent souvent. + Venez yvresse temeraire, + Transports ignorez du vulgaire + Tels que vous m'agitiez vivant." + + Away, too fearful reason, haste, be gone, + Those frozen poets, whom thy phantoms guide, + Languish, and often feebly slide, + Down to the lowest ebb of wretchless song, + Insipid notes, and lifeless numbers sing. + O come, sweet drunkenness, thou heady thing, + With transports to the vulgar herd unknown, + Which agitates my soul, and gives it wing. + With kind enthusiasms then ecstatic grown, + It takes unusual flights, sublimely soars, + Spurns the dull globe below, and endless worlds explores. + +One may very well apply to Bacchus, what the same gentleman says of the +graces in this ode[9]. + + "Tout fleurit par vous au Parnasse, + Apollon languit, et nous glace, + Sitot que vous l'avez quitt, + Mieux que les traits les plus sublimes + Vous allez verser sur mes rimes + Le don de l'immortalit. + + The sprightly influence you shed, + Bright constellation! makes Parnassus gay. + Apollo droops and hangs his head, + His frozen fingers know not how to play; + And we his sons the sad distemper find, + Which chills the fancy, and benumbs the mind, + When cruel you withdraw your magic ray. + You finely paint on ev'ry rhyme + Features most noble and sublime, + Resplendent all the images, + In rich immortal draperies. + You give me colours that can never die, + But baffle time, and live through all eternity. + +It is to wine we owe the productions of Eschylus and Anacreon, whose +muses were very chilly, till Bacchus warmed them. Aurelius, the sophist, +composed his best declamations in his cups. Herodes, called Saginatus +Orator, the fattened Orator, never talked better, than after drinking +pretty plentifully. And according to Horace, this was the case with +Ennius. + + "Ennius ipse pater nunquam nisi potus ad arma + Prosiluit dicenda ------------ [10]." + + Ennius himself ne'er sung of arms, + Martial exploits and wars alarms, + Till the good father's face did shine, + Enrich'd with ruby beams of wine. + +Alcus, the famous poet, never sat down to compose tragedy till he was +tipsy. The disciples of the great Paracelsus took the opportunity, when +he was fuddled, to make him dictate. The venerable Messire Francis +Rabelais composed over the bottle the acts and jests of Gargantua, +and his son Pantagruel, awork which gained him such great reputation. +"Pontius de Thiard, bishop of Chalons sur Saone, had greater obligations +to Bacchus than Apollo for his good verses; who, not reckoning what wine +he drank all day long, never slept without drinking a pretty large +bottle[11]." So true is it, that + + "A la fontaine ou s'enyvre Boileau + Le grand Corneille et le sacr troupeau + De ces auteurs que l'on ne trouve guere + Un bon rimeur doit boire a pleine guyere, + S'il veut donner un bon tour au rondeau[12]." + + At that rich fountain where the great Boileau, + Corneille, Racine, to whom so much we owe, + Th' immortal Dryden, and the sacred band + Of those bright authors, whom we cannot find, + Whose names, (so does oblivion's power command,) + Alas! we no where know, + Supp'd largely to inebriate their mind. + Here a good versifier, fond of rhime, + Should swill, to make his jingling couplets chime. + + From hence, good natur'd B----d, arose your flame, + Hence your inimitable numbers came, + When you so prais'd his house and Buckingham. + +And certainly Cicero was much in the wrong, when he said, that "what +people do when they are drunk, is not done with the same approbation as +if they were sober; they hesitate, and often recall themselves, and +frame a weaker judgment of what they see[13]." But had he consulted +experience, he would have found that drunkenness, far from making people +fearful, inspires them with boldness and temerity. + + + [Footnote 1: Vinum acuit ingenium.] + + [Footnote 2: Vinum ingenii fomes.] + + [Footnote 3: Hist. des. vii. sag. p. 123.] + + [Footnote 4: Non idem sapere possunt qui aquam et qui vinum + bibunt.] + + [Footnote 5: Resp. aux Quest. d'un Prov. t. i. ch.12.] + + [Footnote 6: Sive Platoni credimus, frustra poetices fores compos + sui pepulit. Non potest grande aliquid et supra cteros loqui nisi + mota mens.] + + [Footnote 7: 1 Ep. xix. 3.] + + [[Footnote 7a: Ovid, _Ex Ponto_ IV.ii.25-26.]] + + [Footnote 8: La Motte, Ode Pind. 1.] + + [Footnote 9: Ode 2. Pindar.] + + [Footnote 10: Ep. xix. 7.] + + [Footnote 11: Menagiana, t. i. p. 384.] + + [Footnote 12: ---- p. 189.] + + [Footnote 13: Ne vinolenti quidem qu faciunt qua' sobrii, + hesitant, revocant se interdum, usque qu videntur, imbecillius + assentiuntur. Acad. Quest. lib.4.] + + + + +CHAP. VI. + +THAT WINE MAKES ONE ELOQUENT. + + + What wretch so dull, but eloquent must grow, + When the full goblets with persuasive wine, + Inebriate with bright eloquence divine? + + Fcundi calices quem non fecere disertum?[a] + +Let us make a few commentaries on this verse of Horace. + +We read, that "the sages of Portugal having undertaken to convert those +of Melinda, gained as much upon them by wine as by reason, which, in the +end, facilitated the conquest of the whole country[1]." + +To draw a consequence from this, we say, That one must reasonably +believe, that wine gave those sages an eloquence necessary to convert +the people of Melinda, and them a necessary penetration to discover the +truth through the thick veils of their ignorance. + +Books of travels farther inform us, that "the priests of the kingdom of +Tibet, whom they call Lamas, drink a good quantity of wine on their days +of fasting and devotion, that they may have, to use their own words, the +tongue prompt and ready to say their orisons[2]." + +According to this doctrine, Palingenius was much in the wrong to say, +that wine makes churchmen uncapable to perform the duties of their +function. + + Nec bene tractabit vinosus sacra sacerdos[3]. + + No priest, who tipples wine that's good, + Will do his duty as he should. + +Surely our author never conversed much with the religious. The friers +would have told him, they never perform their office without taking a +choir cup. Experto crede Roberto, as the saying is. There is no false +Latin in this, says a good monk to me once upon a time, drawing from +under his cassock a double flask. You are much in the right on't, +brother Peter, said I, Ibelieve as the church believes, and so--my +service to you, and here's to the pious memory of St. Boniface. And +indeed the vehicle proved capaciously orthodox. + +In relation to what hath been said I shall add a remark of the famous +M.Bayle. "It cannot be denied," says he, "that the christians of Europe +are subject to two great vices, drunkenness and lewdness. The first of +these reigns in cold countries, the other in hot. Bacchus and Venus +share these two climates between them. We find that the reformation +having divided this portion of christianity, that part which was subject +to Venus continues as it was, but the greatest part of what was subject +to Bacchus has renounced popery[4]." + +But you will say, what coherence has this remark with the matter in +question? Have a little patience, and you shall presently see the +application. Isay then, that a thorough true blue hearty Protestant +would conclude from this quotation, that wine bestowed so much eloquence +and penetration to these northern people, as to put them into that happy +state, to discover the truth, and conquer all prejudices against it +whatsoever. But of this enough. + + Pon, pon; pata pon: tara rara, pon pon[5]. + + + [[Footnote a: Horace, _Epistulae_ I.v.19. (_Same passage as note + 2:9b._)]] + + [Footnote 1: Rem. sur Rabel. t. i. lib. 1. cap. 5.] + + [Footnote 2: Divers. cur.] + + [Footnote 3: Lib. iii. p. m. 43.] + + [Footnote 4: Bayle Dict. t. ii. p. 1163.] + + [Footnote 5: Racine.] + + + + +CHAP. VII. + +THAT WINE ACQUIRES FRIENDS, AND RECONCILES ENEMIES. + + +Friendship is a good so precious and valuable, and at the same time so +very rare, that one cannot take too much care in order to procure it. +The most efficacious means to do this is feasting. It is by eating and +drinking together that conversation becomes more easy and familiar; and, +to use the words of Monsieur de la Mothe le vayer, "We hold, that table +communion unites people's very souls, and causes the strictest +friendships." Unde Philotetius Crater[1]. And, in reality, can any thing +be more agreeable and engaging, than to take a friendly bottle in +pleasant and delightful company? + +And therefore Cleomedes had great reason to say, "Take away the +pleasures of the table, where we open ourselves so agreeably to each +other, and you rob us of the sweetest cordial of human life[2]." This +was also the sentiment of Cicero, in his Book of old Age; of Aristotle, +in his Ethics; and Plutarch, in his Questions. Let who will, then, look +on trencher friends to be false, and say with those of whom Ovid makes +mention, + + Dum fueris felix multos numerabis amicos, + Tempora si fuerint nubila, solus eris.[2a] + + In happy times, while riches round you flow, + A thousand friends their obligations own, + But when loud adverse winds begin to blow, + And darksome clouds appear, you're left alone. + +Daily experience teaches us, that one of the best means to push one's +fortune, is often to regale with those who are in credit; for, to one +that may have ruined himself by so doing, ten have made their fortunes. +We may therefore say of entertainments, that, + + Hc res et jungit, et junctos servat amicos.[2b] + + These unite friends, and strictly keep themso. + +But what is more, wine does the office of a mediator between enemies. +Of which truth I shall instance two illustrious examples, M.Crassus +reconciled himself to Cicero at a feast; Asdrubal and Scipio did the +same on the like occasion. And one may see, in a description which a +very learned person[3] has given of Switzerland, that when the +inhabitants of that country quarrel with one another, and come to blows, +they are immediately reconciled, by returning to their cups, and no harm +ensues, but sitting up all night, and amicably getting drunk together. +The Latin has more force in it, which I shall therefore here transcribe. +_Quin et si quando vehementius in se insurgunt, depositis in medium +armis, pugnis rem manibusque decernunt, sed eodem momento conveniunt, +iisdemque epulis, iisdemque poculis quibus surrexere conciliantibus; +et nullo alio ex contentionibus damno, nisi quod innovata pocula in +noctem ducantur._ + +Tacitus had said the same thing long before of the Germans. + +But to come nearer. The bishop of Bitonto, one of the fathers of the +Council of Trent, and a famous preacher, frequently in his sermons, +exhorting the Germans to unity, and to return to the church, made use of +this topic of friendly drinking, conjuring them thereto as undoubtedly, +by the strongest, and most efficacious argument he could make use of, +by remembering how merry and sociable heretofore they had been in their +cups. + + + [Footnote 1: Dial. 2. d'Or, Tuber. p. m. 118.] + + [Footnote 2: Hist. 7 Sap.] + + [[Footnote 2a: Ovid, _Tristia_ I.ix.5-6. + _First line is more often read as_ + Donec eris sospes (_or_ felix) ...]] + + [[Footnote 2b: Horace, _Satire_ I.iii.54.]] + + [Footnote 3: Dan. Eremit. Descript. p. 416.] + + + + +CHAP. VIII. + +THAT THE CUSTOM OF GETTING DRUNK IS MOST ANCIENT. + + +After having displayed the good qualities of wine and drunkenness, +Icome now to shew, that it is generally received by all the world. To +do this effectually I shall enter into some particular detail, and after +having remarked, _en passant_, how the custom of fuddling is very +ancient, Ishall then shew, that the primitive christians used to get +drunk: Ishall speak something of the tippling of churchmen in general, +afterwards I shall take a cursory review of popes, saints, and bishops, +then I shall come to kings and emperors, and give a small catalogue of +these illustrious topers; Ishall not forget the philosophers, and much +less the poets, who loved drinking. Freemasons, and other learned men, +who after having wearied themselves with important studies have taken +this diversion, shall also appear upon the stage. After this I shall +enumerate the several nations that have been, and those which yet are +subject to get fuddled; whether they make use of wine for that purpose, +or such liquors as produce the same effect with wine. And from this +enumeration I shall draw some consequences in favour of drunkenness. + +But before I enter into this detail, I hope I shall be permitted a +general remark, which is, that my readers must not expect I should set +down a complete list of all the several sorts of topers I just now +mentioned; such an exactitude would take up too much time. Much sooner +may one reckon up what numbers die away every spring by the doctor; +and how many dispose of their maidenheads before marriage. + +In every different class you will find no other jolly drinkers, but such +as I have met with in my great reading, and as shall occur to my +remembrance. Neither shall I be very scrupulous in placing them +according to the strict rules of chronology, but put them down as they +present themselves to my imagination. + +If the antiquity of a custom makes it always good and laudable, +certainly drunkenness can never deserve sufficient recommendation. Every +one knows, that Noah got drunk after he had planted the vine. There are +some who pretend to excuse him, that he was not acquainted with the +strength of wine. But to this it may very well be answered, that it is +not very probable so wise a man as Noah should plant a vine without +knowing its nature and property. Besides, it is one thing to know, +whether he got drunk at all: and another, whether he had an intention to +doso. + +But if we give any credit to several learned persons, Noah was not the +first man that got fuddled. Father Frassen maintains, "That people fed +on flesh before the flood, and drank wine. There is no likelihood, +according to him, that men contented themselves with drinking water for +fifteen or sixteen hundred years together. It is much more credible, +that they prepared a drink more nourishing and palatable. These first +men of the world were endued with no less share of wit than their +posterity, and, consequently, wanted no industry to invent every thing +that might contribute to make them pass their lives agreeably. Jesus +Christ says, that in the days of Noah, before the Flood, men married, +and gave their children in marriage. These people, Father Frassen +observes, regaled each other, and made solemn entertainments. Now who +can imagine, that they drank at those festivals nothing but water, and +fed only on fruits and herbs! Noah, therefore, was not the inventor of +that use which we make of the grape; the most that he did, was only to +plant new vines[1]." + +This good father was not singular in his opinion; another very learned +person also believed, that from the passage of Scripture above cited, +one might draw a very probable argument, that men before the flood drank +wine, and that too even to be drunk[2]. + +As for Procopius of Gaza[3], one of the most ancient interpreters of +Scripture, he thinks it no less true, that the vine was known in the +world before Noah's time, but he does not allow that the use of wine was +known before that patriarch, whom he believes to be the inventor ofit. + + + [Footnote 1: Disq. Biblic. Journ. des Savans.] + + [Footnote 2: Jo. Chr. Becman. Annal. Hist.] + + [Footnote 3: Torner de Ebriet. lib. i. c. 3.] + + + + +CHAP. IX. + +THAT THE PRIMITIVE CHRISTIANS GOT DRUNK. + + +There is no one that has ever so little dipped into ecclesiastical +history, but knows very well, that in the primitive church it was a +custom to appoint solemn feasts on the festivals of martyrs. This +appears by the harangue of Constantine, and from the works of St. +Gregory Nazianzen, and St. Chrysostom. People generally got drunk at +these feasts; and this excess was looked upon as a thing that might be +permitted. This evidently appears by the pathetic complaints of St. +Augustin and St. Cyprian: the former of these holy fathers expresses +himself after this manner:---- "Drunken debauches pass as permitted +amongst us, so that people turn them into solemn feasts, to honour +the memory of the martyrs; and that not only on those days which are +particularly consecrated to them, (which would be a deplorable abuse +to those, who look at these things with other eyes than those of the +flesh,) but on every day of the year[1]." + +St. Cyprian, in a treatise attributed to him, says much the same thing. +"Drunkenness, says he, is so common with us in Africa, that it scarce +passes for a crime. And do we not see Christians forcing one another to +get drunk, to celebrate the memory of the martyrs[2]!" + +But it was not only at these repasts that the Christians got drunk, they +did the same on several other occasions; and it was on this account that +St. Augustin wrote to his dear Alipius in these terms: "However the +corruption of manners, and the unhappiness of the times, have induced us +to wish, Ido not say that people should not get drunk in particular +houses, but that they should not get drunk any where else[3]." + +Cardinal du Perron tells us, "That the Manichans said, that the +Catholicks were people much given to wine, but that they never drank +any[4]." + +Against this charge St. Augustin no otherwise defends them, than by +recrimination. He answers, "That it was true, but that they (the +Manichans) drank the juice of apples, which was more delicious than all +the wines and liquors in the world. And so does Tertullian, which liquor +pressed from apples, he says, was most strong and vinous." His words +are, _Succum ex pomis vinosissimum_[5]. + +Here one may observe also, that the use of cider was very primitive and +antient, but as strong and delicious as it was, the Catholicks stuck +close to the juice of the grape, as what was entirely orthodox and no +wise conversant with the heretics of those days. + +But to return to these feasts just now mentioned, it is certain, that it +was not only customary for the Christians of Africa to get drunk. They +had this custom in common with the Christians of Italy, where these +kinds of repasts were forbidden by the Council of Laodicea, which was +held in the fourth century. Paulinus, however, (and I do not wonder at +it, being a poet,) has endeavoured to excuse the Christians, on pretence +that they only got drunk out of a good intention, which, say the +casuists, judges all human actions[6]. His words are, + + ---- "Ignoscenda tamen puto talia parvis + Gaudia qu ducunt epulis, quia mentibus error. + Irrepit rudibus, nec tant conscia culp + Simplicitas pietate cadit, male credula sanctos + Perfusis halante mero gaudere sepulchris.[6a] + + But yet that mirth in little feasts enjoy'd, + I think should ready absolution find; + Slight peccadillo of an erring mind, + Artless and rude, of all disguises void, + Their simple hearts too easy to believe + (Conscious of nothing ill) that saints in tombs + Enshrin'd should any happiness perceive + From quaffing cups, and wines ascending fumes, + Must be excus'd, since what they did they meant, + With piety ill plac'd, yet good intent. + + + [Footnote 1: Ep. 22.] + + [Footnote 2: Pamel. p. 416.] + + [Footnote 3: Ep. 29.] + + [Footnote 4: Perron, p. 64.] + + [Footnote 5: Ibid.] + + [Footnote 6: Quicquid agunt homines intentio judicat omne.] + + [[Footnote 6a: St. Paulinus of Nola (Paulinus Nolensis), + _possibly_ Carmen IX. in St. Felicem.]] + + + + +CHAP. X. + +OF CHURCHMEN. + + +If one formed a judgment of the manner of Churchmen's lives by their +discourses, certainly one would take them for models of sobriety. But +there is a great deal of difference between preaching and practising. +This distinction is very solid, and daily experience confirms it. And if +those gentlemen would do themselves justice, how many amongst them might +say in particular, + + Alas! how can I ever dare pretend, + From man this ancient error to remove, + Which they, ev'n to distraction, fondly love: + If I, who blame it, with such pain defend + Myself from this contagious malady, + This epidemic poison of the mind. + Weak reason, feeble thing, of which mankind + So boasts, this we can only build on thee, + Unjust continuing still, and false and vain, + In our discourses loudly we complain + Against the passions, weakness, vice, and yet + Those things we still cry down, we still commit. + +One cannot, therefore, without indignation, hear Churchmen declaim +against drunkenness, while they themselves are such ruddy examples +ofit. + + _Quis tulerit Gracchos de seditione qurentes._[1] + + With patience who can hear west-country cudden + Rail against roasted beef and good plum pudden? + +If the law of prescription take place, one cannot dispute with them that +of fuddling with any colour of reason, for in St. Jerom's time, the +priests were very much given to wine. This we learn from an epistle of +that father, in which he very severely reprehends them. They have been +no changelings since. We read in the adages of Erasmus, that it was a +proverb amongst the Germans, that the lives of the monks consisted in +nothing but eating, drinking, and----Monachorum nunc nihil aliud est +quam facere, esse, bibere. Besides, avast number of councils, who made +most severe canons against priests that should get drunk, evidently +shew, that they used frequently to do so. Such were the Councils of +Carthage, Agathon, the first of Tours, that of Worms, Treves, &c. To +make this more clear, we shall copy a little of what H.Stephens says on +this subject, in his apology for Herodotus:-- "But to return, says he, +to these proverbs, theologal wine, and the abbots, or prelates table. +Isay, that without these, one could never rightly understand this +beautiful passage of Horace, viz. + + "Nunc est bibendum, nunc pede libero + Pulsanda tellus: Nunc saliaribus + Ornare pulvinar Deorum + Tempus erit dapibus sodales."[1a] + + "Come, boys, lets put the flowing goblet round, + Drink hard, and with brisk measures beat the ground. + The tables of the gods now bright shall shine + With cheer luxurious, fit for mouths of priests, + When holy epicures become your guests, + And venerably quaff large cups of wine." + +Nor this other, + + "Absumet hres ccuba dignior + Servata centum clavibus: & mero + Tinget pavimentum superbo + Pontificum potiore cnis."[1b] + + "A worthy heir shall then with joy unbind + Ccubian, by a hundred locks confin'd, + And tinge with better wines the ground, + Than e'er at feasts pontifical are found." + +"You see how necessary these proverbs are, to let us into the true +understanding of these two passages of this poet. Here follows, word for +word, what a certain gloss says of the last of them, _Mero dicit potiore +(meliore) cnis pontificum, quam quo pontifices in cnis suis, qu +semper sumtuosissim fuerunt, unde nunc theologicum dicunt vinum, usi +sunt_. That is, with better wine than that which the chief priests used +at their suppers, which were always most sumptuous and expensive, and +which sort of wine we call now theological. + +"By this you plainly see how much attached to divines and prelates those +gentlemen are who make profession of being expositors of the poets. But +in relation to this same theologal, or theological, Iknow very well +that it is a great question if it should be called _vinum theologale_, +or _vinum theologalis per appositionem_; for the wicked laity, some of +them will have it, that when these good men get tipsy they agree no +otherwise than dogs and cats. But I shall leave this dispute to be +decided by the readers. And as to these two proverbs, they put me in +mind of another, and that is, an abbot's face, which proverb being very +ancient, makes me believe that formerly the abbots had their faces +illuminated. --But without going any farther for witnesses, Ishall +content myself with presenting my readers with the following piece of +antiquity, viz. + + "Sanctus Dominicus sit nobis semper amicus, + Cui canimus rostro jugiter preconia nostro + De cordis venis siccatis ante lagenis. + Ergo tuas laudes si tu nos pangere gaudes + Tempore paschali, fac ne potu puteali + Conveniat uti, quod si fit undique muti + Semper erunt fratres qui non curant nisi ventres." + + "O good Saint Dominic, be ay propitious, + Whose praise we daily chirp in notes delicious + From all the veins of all our hearts, + Having toss'd up some double quarts. + Therefore, if't be thy true desire, + We chaunt thy lauds at Easter quire. + Let not thy saintship think it meet + We drink from well tho' ne'er so sweet, + Liquor unworthy priest or parson, + If so, your friers will hang an arse on, + Who nothing mind, I need not tell ye, + Most holy patron, but their belly. + So used, they'll ev'ry soul be dumb, + No _dixit dominus_, but -------- mum." + +Not unlike this is what follows:-- + + "O monachi, vestri stomachi sunt amphora Bacchi, + Vos estis, Deus est testis, teterrima pestis!" + + "O monks, ye reverend drones, your guts + Of wine are but so many buts; + You are, God knows (who can abide ye?) + Of plagues the rankest, _bona fide_!" + + + [Footnote 1: Juvenal.] [[_Satire_ II. 24.]] + + [[Footnote 1a: Horace, _Odes_ I.xxxvii.1-4.]] + + [[Footnote 1b: Horace, _Odes_ II.xiv.25-28.]] + + + + +CHAP. XI. + +OF POPES, SAINTS, AND BISHOPS, THAT USED TO GET DRUNK. + + +After having spoken of the drunkenness of churchmen in general, it will +not, perhaps, be a thing altogether needless, to put the whole in the +clearest light, to confirm what has been said, by the example of Popes, +Saints, and Bishops, who have practised that laudable custom of getting +drunk. + +A little song, mentioned by H. Stephens, in his apology for Herodotus, +affords matter of speculation in relation to the sobriety of sovereign +pontiffs. + + "Le Pape qui est a Rome, + Boit du vin comme un autre homme + Et de l'Hypocras aussi." + + The Pope at Rome, his holiness, + Of wine drinks many a hearty glass, + And pleasant Hypocras also, + As any other man I trow. + +If one reads over the popes lives, we shall be fully convinced that +these holy fathers were no enemies to wine. Alexander the Fifth was a +great drinker, and that too of strong wines, says his own historian, +Theoderic de Neim. If one may give any credit to the letters of the king +of Spain's ambassador to his master, Sixtus Quintus was a terrible +drunkard[1]. + +And Pope Boniface instituted indulgencies for those who should drink a +cup after grace (called since St. Boniface's cup). Aplain argument that +his sanctity did not hate wine. + +This puts me in my mind of what I have formerly read, though the +author's name is now slipped out of my memory, that when cardinal +Pignatelli, afterwards Innocent the Twelfth, was advanced to the papacy, +his name signifying little pots or mugs, three of which he bore for his +arms; and whose mother was of the house of Caraffa, which signifies a +jug, aFrenchman made these lines:-- + + "Nous devons tous boire en repos + Sous le regne de ce saint pere + Son nom ses armes sont des pots + Une Caraffe etoit sa mere. + Celebrons donc avec eclat + Cet auguste Pontificat." + + Under this holy father's reign + Hang sorrow, let us ne'er complain; + I think all of us should turn sots, + And fuddle with one another, + His name, and so his arms, are pots, + And a gallon pot was his mother; + Then let us brightly celebrate + This most august Pontificate. + +In the main, this is nothing but a little punning or playing with words, +but it is one of those agreeable trifles that may now and then be worth +our thinkingon. + +One may add to the number of such popes as loved fuddling, all those who +sat at Avignon; for if we believe Petrarch[2], the long residence that +the court of Rome made at Avignon, was only to taste the good French +wines; and that it was merely on that account they stayed so long in +Provence, and removed with so much reluctance. + +Let us now pass on to Saints and Bishops. Ishall only instance one of +each, because I hate prolixity. The first Saint that presents himself to +me, is the renowned St. Augustin, who himself owns, that he used to get +drunk sometimes. _Crapula autem nonnunquam surrepit servo tuo +misereberis ut longe fiat me._ Thy servant has been sometimes +crop-sick through excess of wine, have mercy on me, that it may be ever +far from me. It is true, [3]M.Cousin maintains against my author, +M.Petit, the Journal des Savans, of the year 1689, 27th June, that St. +Augustin, however, never got drunk. The arguments on both sides you may +find in Bayle's Dictionary, under the article Augustin. But yet there +are somewhere in St. Augustin these words, viz. My soul certainly being +a spirit cannot dwell in a dry place. _Anima mea cert quia spiritus +est, in sicco habitare non potest._ + +I shall make no comment upon these words, only insert one already made, +which I take from M.Duchat in his Remarks on Rabelais[4]. On these +words of Saint Augustin, says he, mentioned in the second part of the +Decretals, caus. 32, q.2, c.9, the commentator says, "And this is an +argument for the Normans, English, and Poles, that they may drink +largely, that the soul may not live in the dry. _Et est argumentum pro +Normannis, Anglicis, et Polonis, ut possint fortiter bibere, ne anima +habitet in sicco._ To which Peter Chatelain, aFlemish physician, made +this pleasant addition, It is very probable, that the commentator was an +entire stranger to the nature of the Flemings. _Verisimile est +glossatorem ignorasse naturam Belgarum._" + +And, perhaps, this argument from St. Augustine's words, is as just as +one of a merry fellow I knew, who would prove, from St. Paul's going to +the Three Taverns[5], That he loved a hearty bottle. + +Amongst the Bishops, I cannot instance a more illustrious example of a +great drinker than that of Pontus de Thiard. We are told[6], "That this +gentleman, after having repented of the sins of his youth, came to be +bishop of Chalons sur Soane; but, however, he did not renounce the power +of drinking heartily, which seemed then inseparable from the quality of +a good poet. He had a stomach big enough to empty the largest cellar; +and the best wines of Burgundy were too gross for the subtility of the +fire which devoured him. Every night, at going to bed, besides the +ordinary doses of the day, in which he would not suffer the least drop +of water, he used to drink a bottle before he slept. He enjoyed a +strong, robust, and vigorous health; to the age of fourscore. + + + [Footnote 1: Thuan. p. 447.] + + [Footnote 2: Perron, p. 387.] + + [Footnote 3: Petit Nepnth, p. 137.] + + [Footnote 4: Liv. i. ch. 5.] + + [Footnote 5: Acts, cap. xxviii. v. 15.] + + [Footnote 6: Rep. des Lett. Febr. 1687, art. 7.] + + + + +CHAP. XII. + +A CATALOGUE OF SOME ILLUSTRIOUS TOPERS. + + +Since, according to Horace's observation, every one conforms himself to +the example of the prince. + + "Regis ad exemplum totus componitur orbis."[a] + +And that, according to Seneca's maxim, one must regulate one's conduct +by illustrious models. + + "Vita est instituenda illustribus exemplis." + +It must not be wondered at that people so generally get drunk, since in +this they follow the examples of great kings, amongst whom are very few +that this verse of Ovid, which Guy Patin applied to Naudus and +Gassendi, agrees with[1]. + + "Vina fugit gaudetque meris abstemius undis."[1a] + + Flies wine abstemious, but the limpid stream, + Pure and unmixed, his thirsty heat subdues. + +And, perhaps, this is the reason, why in comedies they bestow crowns to +those that are drunk. + + ---------- Quid ego video + PS. Cum coron ebrium pseudolum meum[2]. + +And in Amphytrion, Mercury says, + + Ibo inter et capiam ornatum qui potius decet.[2a] + +"I'll go in and take the ornament which better becomes me." For he had +said a little before, + + Capiam coronam in caput, assimulabo me esse ebrium.[2a] + + I'll put a crown upon my head, and feign myself drunk. + +Lipsius[3] furnished me with these examples. + +But I should never have done, if I endeavoured to give a list of all the +kings that got drunk. + + -------- "Quorum si nomina quras + Promptius expediam quot amaverat Hippia mchos, + Quot themison gros autumno occiderat uno[4]." + + -------- Whose names, if you require, + With greater expedition could I tell, + To Hippia's lust how many prostrate fell; + How many only in one autumn died, + By doctors, and their slip-slops ill applied. + +I shall content myself, therefore, to instance some of the most +illustrious, as they come into my mind, without observing any certain +order. + +Alexander the Great first offers himself to my imagination. It will be +sufficient to mention his name, without saying any more. _Nomen non +amplius addam._ + +Csar, to make use of Balzac's words, was not always the sober destroyer +of the commonwealth, and he did not at all times hate the pleasure of +drinking. + +Cambyses was also very much given to wine, as may be judged by what I am +going to say. This prince, having been told by one of his courtiers, +That the people took notice he got drunk too often, taking, some time +after, his bow and arrow, shot the son of that courtier through the +heart, saying no more than this to the father, Is this the act of a +drunkard? + +Darius, the first king of Persia, had these words put upon his tomb:-- + + Vinum multum bibere potui idque perferre. + + I could drink much wine and bear it well. + +King Antigonus may come in here. lian reports of this prince, That one +day when he was much in drink, meeting Zeno the philosopher, whom he had +a great kindness for, he kissed him, and promised to give him whatever +he would desire. Zeno only answered very mildly, Go and ease your +stomach by vomiting, that's all I ask of you at present. + +Philip, king of Macedon, got drunk sometimes; witness what a woman, whom +he had not done justice to, said to him, viz. Iappeal from Philip +drunk, to Philip when sober. + +Dionysius[5] the younger, tyrant of Sicily, was sometimes drunk for nine +days successively; he drank himself almost blind, and the lords of his +court, to flatter him, pretended they themselves could scarce see, so +that they neither eat nor drank but what he reached to them. + +Tiberius was called Biberius, because of his excessive attachment to +drinking; and, in derision, they changed his surname of Nero into Mero. + +Bonosus was a terrible drinker, if one may give any credit to his own +historian, Flavius Vopiscus. He used to make ambassadors, that came to +him from foreign powers, drunk, in order, by that means, to discover +their secret instructions. + +Maximin[6], the father, drank very often a pot containing two gallons. +One might very well, therefore, have given him this epitaph:-- + + Hic jacet amphora vini. + +Trajan and Nerva, those excellent princes, took sometimes a pleasure in +getting drunk. + +Galerius Maximinus, who, according to Aurelius Victor, was a prince of +sweet temper, and loved men of probity and letters, had a very great +passion for wine, and frequently got drunk. Having once given orders +when he was in this condition, which he repented of when sober, he +solemnly forbad any one to obey such orders that he should give when he +should get drunk for the future. + + [[Footnote a: Claudian, _De Quarto Consulatu Honorii Augusti_ + (VIII) 300.]] + + [Footnote 1: Esprit de Pat. p. 22.] + + [[Footnote 1a: Ovid, _Metamosphoses_ XV.323.]] + + [Footnote 2: Plautus.] [[_Pseudolus_ 1286-87.]] + + [[Footnote 2a: Plautus, _Amphitryon_ 1007; _Amphitryon_ 999.]] + + [Footnote 3: Ant. Lect. lib. iii.] + + [Footnote 4: Juvenal, satire x. v. 220.] [[i.e. 219-221.]] + + [Footnote 5: lian, chap. 6.] + + [Footnote 6: J. Capitolin.] + + + + +CHAP. XIII. + +OF PHILOSOPHERS THAT USED TO GET DRUNK. + + +Though the example and authority of Philosophers prove nothing, yet one +must not imagine with Boileau, + + "---------------- Que sans Aristote, + La raison ne voit goute, et le bon sens redote." + + That reason, void of Aristotle's rule, + Insipid grows, good sense a doating fool. + +It is, however, very true, that we shall find ourselves wonderfully +disposed to get fuddled, when we consider that those of antiquity, +for whom we have most respect and veneration, have made no manner of +difficulty to get drunk sometimes, and have praised drunkenness not only +by their actions but discourse. This I am going plainly to make appear. +Ibegin with the Seven Sages of Greece, who were acknowledged as such by +all antiquity. These philosophers did not look upon drunkenness as a +thing incompatible with virtue, of which they made strict profession. +History tells us, that they drank largely at the entertainment Periander +the Tyrant, or king of Corinth, gave them. + +Solon, that famous, yet so rigid, legislator of the Athenians, composed +a song in the praise of wine, in which he introduced Venus and the +Muses. Seneca is of opinion, that he was suspected to be as much given +to wine as Arcesilaus. And M.Chevreau[1] observes very well, that "The +wisdom of Solon was not of such an austerity as to frighten people, when +he said, That the ladies, wine, and the Muses, were the pleasures of +human life." + +Zeno, whose philosophy was so severe, got, notwithstanding, drunk +sometimes. Being one day at an entertainment, he was asked how he came +to be so joyful, he answered, that he was like lupins, which were bitter +naturally, but grew sweet after they were moistened. + +Socrates, whom the oracle declared the wisest man of Greece, was, in +like manner, avery great drinker. M.Charpentier, in his Life, tells +us, That though he did not love to drink, yet when he was forced to it, +no one could come up to him; and that he had this wonderful happiness, +as not afterwards to find himself incommoded byit. + +Cato, that hero of stoicism, got drunk sometimes, in order to relax his +mind, fatigued with the cares of public employment. These are the very +words of Seneca, Cato _vino laxabat animum curis publicis fatigatum_. +And the same author says elsewhere, that "People reproached Cato with +drunkenness, but that reproach was rather an honour to him than +otherwise." _Catoni ebrietas objecta est, et facilius efficiet quisquis +objecerit honestum quam turpem Catonem._ Horace gives us the same idea +of the great Cato, in these words:-- + + "Narratur et prisci Catonis + Spe mero caluisse virtus."[1a] + + Tradition tells, that oftentimes with wine, + Ev'n Cato's virtue moisten'd, shone divine. + +If one knew the Scythian philosopher Anacharsis no otherwise than by his +apophthegms against wine and drunkenness, one would take him for the +soberest man in the world, but we know very well that his theory varied +very much upon this point, and no way agreed with his practice. One day +above the rest, having got drunk at an entertainment given by Lybis, +brother to Pittacus, he demanded the prize that was to be given to the +greatest drinker. With which action, when he was afterwards reproached, +he replied, "Can a man better signalize himself in battle than by +glorious wounds? and at table, than with that gaiety you call +drunkenness? Did not Homer, the wisest of your poets, make not only +Agamemnon drunk, but Jupiter too, and made nectar flow in full goblets +at the table of the Gods[2]?" lian[3] also tells us, that this +philosopher drank largely at Periander's feasts, and alleged for an +excuse, That to drink a great deal was essential to the Scythians. + +Plato, another hero of antiquity, not only permitted, but commanded, +that people should get drunk at some certain times. To prove what I say, +one has no more to do than to read his laws. + +Seneca, who was so severe a philosopher, at least his rigid precepts +would make one think him so, thought it no harm now and then to get +drunk, and ranges drunkenness amongst the means he prescribes to +maintain the strength and vigour of the mind. Ihave quoted what he says +in this respect in the first and second chapter of this work. + +The philosopher Arcesilaus, who lived about the 120th Olympiad, might be +reckoned amongst those who loved wine, since he died by drinking too +much of it unmixed. Agreater, and more convincing proof of his sincere +love to the creature could not be given. + + For he that hangs, or beats out's brains, + The devil's in him if he feigns[4]. + +Xenocrates[5], one of the most illustrious philosophers of ancient +Greece, and of a virtue very rigid and severe, got drunk sometimes. +lian has put his name into the catalogue of those who loved drinking, +and could bear a good deal of liquor. Athenus, says this philosopher, +gained the crown of gold which the tyrant of Syracuse had promised him +that should empty a certain measure of wine. Diogenes Laertius confirms +this last particular. "He had moreover acquired such an empire over his +passions, that a very beautiful courtesan (Phryne) who had laid a wager +she could subdue his virtue, lost it, though she had the liberty to lie +with him, and use all her little toyings to incite him to enjoy her." +You see here (adds Mr. Bayle) atriumph as remarkable as that of +S.Aldhelme, and some other canonized saints, who came off victorious on +such attacks. + +Cicero[6] assures us, That Stilpo of Megera, the philosopher, aman of +much wit and ability for the times he lived in, loved wine as well as +women; and, that his friends wrote this of him in his praise, and not +dishonour. + +Athenus says, That the philosophers Lacides and Timon, once upon a +time, past two whole days successively in drinking. lian puts their +names into his catalogue of hard drinkers; to which he adds Amasis, +the lawgiver of the Egyptians. + +Chrysippus the philosopher, native of Solos, atown of Cilicia, or of +Tharsus, according to others, got drunk pretty often. It is said, That +some of his disciples having prevailed upon him to come to a sacrifice, +he drank so much pure wine, that he died five days afterwards. There are +other authors, however, will have it, that he died of immoderate +laughter, seeing an ass eat figs out of a dish, and upon which he +commanded they should give him drink. + + + [Footnote 1: Solonem et Arcesilaum credunt indulsisse vino.] + + [[Footnote 1a: Horace, _Odes_ III.xxi.11-12.]] + + [Footnote 2: Hist. Sep. Sap.] + + [Footnote 3: Lib. ii. 2.] + + [Footnote 4: Hudibras.] + + [Footnote 5: Bayle Dict. Art. Xenoc.] + + [Footnote 6: Lib. de Fab.] + + + + +CHAP. XIV. + +OF POETS THAT USED TO GET DRUNK. + + +As wine is the poet's great horse, so it must not be wondered at, that +the major part of them fuddle their noses; for, in reality, they cannot +properly be said to be mounted on their great horses, till they have +drunk pretty heartily. These gentlemen speak then on horseback, for the +discourse of poets is quite opposite to that of orators, which Horace +says, is a discourse on foot[1], but when they drink nothing we can only +say, that they are mounted upon. + +The attachment that Homer had to wine, appears in the frequent eulogiums +he gives that liquor. And if we examine Anacreon never so little, we +shall find his inclinations, as well as his verses, were divided between +wine and love. As much delicacy and fine turns as one finds in his +works, an honest man cannot see without indignation, but that they tend +absolutely to debauch. One must drink, one must love. The moments that +are not employed in the pleasures of the senses are lost. Pausanius +tells us, that he saw at Athens the statue of Anacreon, which +represented him drunk and singing. + +The poet Philoxenus wished he had a neck as long as a crane, that he +might the longer have the pleasure of swallowing wine, and enjoy its +delicious taste. + +Ion, the poet of Chios, was not much more sober in respect of wine, +according to lian and Euripides. + +Horace must by no means be forgotten, whose satires derive from the +grape their sprightfulness and gaiety. + +Timocreon of Rhodes, a comic poet in the 75th Olympiad, was a great +drinker. Athenus has given of him this epitaph:-- + + Multa bibens et multa vorans, mala plurima dicens + Multis hic jaceo Timocreon Rhodius. + +To these we may add Alceus and Eunius, of whom we have already made +mention; but what signifies this enumeration, since it is most certain, +that almost all the poets in the world, of all ages, got drunk, which +puts them under the protection of Bacchus. This made them heretofore in +Rome celebrate once a year, in the month of March, afestival in honour +to this God with solemn sacrifices. What Ovid[2] has said on this point +puts the matter out of all doubt:-- + + "Illa dies hc est, qua te celebrare poet + Si modo non fallunt tempora, Bacche, solent, + Festaque odoratis innectunt tempora sertis + Et dicunt laudes ad tua vina tuas. + Inter quos memini, dum me mea fata sinebant, + Non invisa tibi pars ego spe fui." + + This is the day, unless the times are chang'd, + That poets us'd to sing in merry lays, + And with sweet garlands crown'd, promiscuous rang'd, + To thy rich wines, great Bacchus, chaunt thy praise. + With these gay chorists, when my fates were kind, + Free, unreserv'd, to thee, immortal power! + (The pleasing object fresh salutes my mind) + Without disguise a part I often bore. + + + [Footnote 1: Sermo pedestris.] + + [Footnote 2: Trist. v. 3.] + + + + +CHAP. XV. + +OF FREE MASONS, AND OTHER LEARNED MEN, THAT USED TO GET DRUNK. + + +If what brother Eugenius Philalethes, author of Long Livers, abook +dedicated to the Free Masons, says in his Preface[1] to that treatise, +be true, those mystical gentlemen very well deserve a place amongst the +learned. But, without entering into their peculiar jargon, or whether a +man can be sacrilegiously perjured for revealing secrets when he has +none, Ido assure my readers, they are very great friends to the +vintners. An eye-witness of this was I myself, at their late general +meeting at Stationers' Hall, who having learned some of their catechism, +passed my examination, paid my five shillings, and took my place +accordingly. + +We had a good dinner, and, to their eternal honour, the brotherhood laid +about them very valiantly. They saw then their high dignity; they saw +what they were, acted accordingly, and shewed themselves (what they +were) men[2]. The Westphalia hams and chickens, with good plum pudding, +not forgetting the delicious salmon, were plentifully sacrificed, with +copious libations of wine for the consolation of the brotherhood. But +whether, after a very disedifying manner their demolishing huge walls of +venison pasty, be building up a spiritual house, Ileave to brother +Eugenius Philalethes to determine. However, to do them justice, Imust +own, there was no mention made of politics or religion, so well do they +seem to follow the advice of that author[3]. And when the music began to +play, "Let the king enjoy his own again," they were immediately +reprimanded by a person of great gravity and science. + +The bottle, in the mean while, went merrily about, and the following +healths were begun by a great man, The King, Prince and Princess, and +the Royal Family; the Church as by Law established; Prosperity to Old +England under the present Administration; and Love, Liberty, and +Science; which were unanimously pledged in full bumpers, attended with +loud huzzas. + +The faces then of the most ancient and most honourable fraternity of the +Free Masons, brightened with ruddy fires; their eyes illuminated, +resplendent blazed. + +Well fare ye, merry hearts, thought I, hail ye illustrious topers, if +liberty and freedom, ye free mortals, is your essential difference, +richly distinguishes you from all others, and is, indeed, the very soul +and spirit of the brotherhood, according to brother Eugenius +Philalethes[4]. Iknow not who may be your alma mater, but undoubtedly +Bacchus is your liber pater. + + 'Tis wine, ye Masons, makes you free, + Bacchus the father is of liberty. + +But leaving the Free Masons, and their invaluable secrets, for I know +not what they are worth, come we now to speak of other men of learning, +who loved to indulge their genius with the delicious juice of the grape. +And here we need not fly to antiquity, which would swell this work into +a large volume, later times will furnish us with many a bright example. +_Non semper confugiamus ad vetera._ + +A man of learning, after ten or twelve hours daily study, cannot do +better, than to unbend his mind in drinking plentifully of the creature; +and may not such a one say to himself these verses of the French poet:-- + + "Dois-je mal a propos secher a faire un livre + Et n'avoir pour tout fruit des peines que je prends + Que la haine de sots et les mepris des grands[5]." + + Why should I pass away my time in vain, + And, to compose a book, dry up my brain, + When all the recompense I'm like to find, + For all the toil and labour of my mind, + Is the unthinking silly ideot's hate, + And the contempt and scorn of all the great + +I must own I would have the indefatigable labour of such a one gain an +immortal reputation after his death; but after all, to weary one's self +all one's life long with those views, is very chimerical. And certainly, +he that makes but little account of the honours that might accrue to him +after his death, acted like a man of sense. _Si venit post fata gloria +non propero_[6]. + +Is it not infinitely better to divert one's self while one lives, than +to idle all one's life away on poring upon books? Much better will the +following song become the mouth of a man of letters, which I have +transcribed out of the Mercure Galant, of the year 1711, p.67. + + "De ceux qui vivent dans l'histoire, + Ma foi je n'envierai le sort. + Nargues du Temple de Memoire + Ou l'on ne vit que lorsque l'on est mort. + J'aime bien mieux vivre pendant ma vin + Pour boire avec Silvie; + Car je sentirai + Les momens que je vivrai + Tant que je boirai." + + Faith, I shan't envy him, whoe'er he be, + That glorious lives in history; + Nor memory's rich fane amuse my head, + Where no one lives but when he's dead. + I had much rather, while I life enjoy, + The precious moments all employ, + With my lov'd Silvia, and delicious wine, + Both wonderful, and both divine. + For that I truly live, and healthy prove, + Is that I drink, and that I love. + +This is exactly the same thing that Racan said to Maynard in this +ode[7]. + + "Je sai, Maynard, que les merveilles + Qui naissent de tes longues veilles + Vivront autant que l'univers; + Mais que te sert il que ta gloire + Eclipse au Temple de Memoire + Quand tu seras mang des vers? + Quitte cette inutile peine, + Bvons pltt a longue haleine + De ce doux jus delicieux, + Qui pour l'excellence prcde + Le bruvage que Ganimede + Verse dans la coupe des dieux." + + Maynard, I know thy thoughts express'd in rhyme, + Those wonders of thy bright immortal pen, + Shall live for ever in the minds of men, + Till vast eternity shall swallow time. + Yet should thy glories, now so radiant bright, + In Memory's rare temple lose their light; + Suffer eclipse, when to the worms a prey, + Those reptiles eat thy poor remains away. + Does this reflection chagrin thee, my friend, + Thus to the useless thought decree an end? + Drink, and drink largely, that delicious juice, + The em'rald vines in purple gems produce, + Which for its excellence surpasses far + That liquor which, to bright celestial souls, + Jove's minion, Ganimede, with steady care, + Richly dispenses in immortal bowls. + +So much for poetry, let us come to the point, and instance some learned +men, that have loved this diversion. And first, enter Erasmus, who +certainly was no enemy to wine, since he chose rather to continue where +the plague was than drink water. To prove this, Ishall instance part of +a letter written to this great man by Armonius, an Italian, and a very +learned person:-- "Immediately after my arrival in England, +Iendeavoured to inform myself where you were, because in your last you +told me, the plague had forced you to quit Cambridge. At length I was +told for certain, that you had indeed left the town, but retiring into a +place where there was no wine, which to you being worse than the plague, +you returned thither, and where you now are. Ointrepid soldier of +Bacchus, whom so eminent a danger could not compel to desert his +general!" The Latin having much more force, for the sake of those who +understand that language, Ishall take the liberty to insert it, as +follows:-- _Simul atque Anglicum solum tetigi, ubi locorum esses rogare +cepi, siquidem Cantabrigiensem pestem fugere te scripsisti. Unus tandem +sixtinus mihi dixit te quidem Cantabrigiam. Ob pestem reliquisse et +concessisse nescio quo, ubi cum vini penuria laborares, et eo carere +gravius peste duceres, Cantabrigiam repetiisse atque ibi nunc esse. +Ofortem Bassarei commilitonem, qui in summo periculo ducem deserere +nolueris_[8]. + +"Daniel Heinsius loved to drink a little. One day, when he was not in a +condition to read his lectures, having got drunk the day before, some +arch wags fixed these words on the school-door:-- _Daniel Heinsius, +non leget hodie, propter hesternam carpulam_[9]." + +"George Sharpe, a Scotchman, professor, and vice-chancellor of +Montpelier, who died in the year 1673, on his birth-day, aged fifty-nine +years, was a great drunkard[10]." + +Barthius may also be reckoned amongst those learned topers, if what +Coloniez says be true. "Iknew," says he, "some learned men in Holland, +who spoke of Scriverius as of a man extremely amorous. M.Vossius, +amongst others, related to me one day, that Barthius being come from +Germany to Haerlaem to see Scriverius, had in his company a lady +perfectly beautiful, whom Scriverius had no sooner seen, but he found +means to make Barthius drunk, that he might entertain the lady with +greater liberty, which he accomplished. It was not, however, so well +managed, but Barthius coming to himself had some reason to suspect what +had past, which grew so much upon him, that he took the lady along with +him in a rage, and drowned her in the Rhine[11]." + +Scaliger treats as a drunkard, John Kuklin, acalvinist minister, native +of Hesse, and a very learned man[12]. + +"Nicolas de Bourbon, of Bar sur l'Aube, was nephew's son to the poet +Nicolas Bourbon, who lived in the time of Francis the First; after +having been king's professor, then canon of Langres, made himself father +of the oratory. ----He was a prodigious dry soul, and loved good wine, +which made him often say, That though he was of the French academy, yet +that when he read French verses he fancied he was drinking water." + +The great Buchanan, so famous for his fine writings, was a terrible +drinker, if we may give any credit to Father Garasse. What follows is +taken out of his Doctrine Curieuse, p.748. "Ishall," says he, "recount +to our new atheists, the miserable end of a man of their belief and +humour, as to eating and drinking. The libertine having passed his +debauched youth in Paris and Bourdeaux, more diligent in finding out +tavern bushes than the laurel of Parnassus; and being towards the latter +end of his life, recalled into Scotland, to instruct the young prince, +James VI. continuing his intemperance, he grew at last so dropsical by +drinking, that by way of jeer he said he was in labour. _Vino +intercute_, not _aqu intercute_. As ill as he was, he would, however, +not abstain from drinking bumpers, and them too all of pure wine, as he +used to do at Bourdeaux. The physicians who had care of his health, by +order of the king, seeing the extravagant excesses of their patient, +told him roundly, and in a kind of heat, that he did all he could to +kill himself, and that, if he continued this course of life, he could +not live above a fortnight, or three weeks, longer. He desired them then +to hold a consultation amongst themselves, and let him know how long he +might live if he abstained from wine. They did so, and told him, he +might on that condition live five or six years longer. Upon which he +gave them an answer worthy his humour. Go, says he, with your regimens +and prescriptions, and know, that I had rather live three weeks, and get +drunk every day, than six years without drinking wine. And as soon as he +had thus dismissed the physicians, he caused a barrel of wine of Grave +to be placed at his bed's head, resolving to see the bottom of it before +he died; and carried himself so valiantly in this encounter, that he +drank it up to the lees, fulfilling literally the contents of this +quaint epigram of Epigonus upon a frog, who falling into a pipe of wine, +cried out, + + +pheu tines hudr + pinousi manin sphrona mainomenoi.+ + +"Having death and the glass between his teeth, the ministers visited him +to bring him to himself, that he might take resolution to die with some +thought and reflection; one of them especially exhorted him to recite +the Lord's Prayer; upon which, opening his eyes, he looked very ghastly +upon the minister, And what is that, says he, that you call the Lord's +Prayer? The standers by answered, It was the Our Father; and that, if he +could not pronounce that prayer, they desired him that at least he would +recite some christian prayer, that he might die like a good man. For my +part, replied he, Inever knew any other prayer than this, + + "Cynthia prima suis miserum me cepit ocellis, + Contractum nullis ante cupidinibus."[12a] + + Cynthia's fine eyes, me wretched, first could move, + Before that time I knew not what was love. + +"And scarce had he repeated ten or twelve verses of that elegy of +Propertius, but he expired, surrounded with cups and glasses, and of him +one may really say, that he vomitted his purple soul out, _Purpuram +vomit ille animam_[13]." + +I shall not vouch for the truth of this story, but you have it as I find +it; nor must it be expected that Buchanan, who was their mortal enemy, +should find any favour from the priests of the church of Rome. + +Justus Lipsius got sometimes drunk; he tells us so himself, in his +Commentary on Seneca, for in that passage where the philosopher says, +that drunkenness cures some certain distempers, he makes on the word +distempers this remark following--Melancholy (weknow it by experience) +or cold. And in the discourses which he says were carried on between +Carrio Demius and Dusa, upon subjects of literature, and which he +inserts in his Ancient Lessons, they had always a glass in their hand. + +Every one knows that Baudius, professor in the university of Leyden, was +a great drinker, and Culprit himself pleads guilty to the indictment. +_Habemus rerum confitentem._ Here follow his own words, which I own I +cannot translate without losing their beauty in the Latin, but the +substance is, that he defies envy itself to say any thing against him, +but that like the ancient Cato, he drank pretty liberally of the juice +of the grape. _Concurrant omnes_, says he, _non dicam ut ille satiricus, +Augures, Haruspices, sed quicquid est ubique hominum curiosorum, qui in +aliena acta tam sedulo iniquirunt ut ea fingant qu nunquam fuerunt, +nihil inveniet quod in nobis carpere possit livor, quam quod interdum ad +exemplum prisci Catonii liberalitatis invitare nos patiamur, nec semper +constitimus ultra sobrietatem veterum Sabinorum_[14]. And in another +letter he says, that the most virulent detractor could never reproach +him with any thing, but that he got sometimes drunk. _Malignitas +obtrectatorum nihil aliud in nobis sigillare potest quam quod nimis +commodus sum convivator, et interdum largius adspargor rore liberi +patris_[15]. + +Balzac made also some little debauches with some of his friends at his +country-house; and what he wrote to an officer who was then prisoner in +Germany, makes it evidently appear that he thought it lawful so to do. +"In relation," says he, "to the German manner of drinking healths, which +you speak of with such trouble, as if they were so many Turkish +bastinadoes, Ithink your sobriety in that respect to be a little too +delicate, you must learn to howl when you are in company of wolves, as +the proverb has it, and not to instance great generals. Don't you know, +that wise ambassadors of kings have heretofore got drunk for the good of +their master's affairs, and sacrificed all their prudence and gravity to +the necessity of great men, and the custom of the country where they +were. Ido not advise you here to any forbidden acts of intemperance, +but I think it no manner of harm now and then to drown your chagrin in +Rhenish wine, and to make use of that agreeable means to shorten the +time, the long continuance of which is ever extremely tedious to +prisoners[16]." + +The illustrious professor of Utrecht, whose name shall live as long as +the republic of letters shall subsist, was a great drinker, and valued +himself for drinking a great deal. It is reported of this learned man, +that at the congress of the last peace, acertain German prince, of a +sovereign house, came on purpose to have a brush with our professor, who +accepted the challenge, and came off victorious, having fairly laid his +enemy speechless on the floor. + + + [Footnote 1: Vide Preface, p. 17, l. 6, where are these words, + viz. Thus shall princes love and cherish you as their most + faithful children and servants, and take delight to commune with + you, inasmuch as amongst you are found men excellent in all kinds + of sciences, and who, thereby, may make their names, who love and + cherish you, immortal] + + [Footnote 2: Page 6, l. 9.] + + [Footnote 3: Page 16, l. 19.] + + [Footnote 4: Page 5, l. 12. Page 42, l. 13.] + + [Footnote 5: Oeuv. div. du Sieur D'Espreaux, p. 246.] + + [Footnote 6: Martial.] + + [Footnote 7: Parnass. Franc, p. 97.] + + [Footnote 8: Bayle Dict. Art. Ammon.] + + [Footnote 9: Menagian, t. i. p. 26.] + + [Footnote 10: Patinian, p. 106.] + + [Footnote 11: Rec. de Partic. p. 318, ed. 4.] + + [Footnote 12: Scaliger, p. 409.] + + [[Footnote 12a: Propertius I.i.1-2.]] + + [Footnote 13: Bayle Dict. Art. Buchan. D.] + + [Footnote 14: Ep. xxxiii. centur. 3.] + + [Footnote 15: Ep. xxvi. centur. 3.] + + [Footnote 16: Lett. Chois. lib. ii. lett. 5.] + + + + +CHAP. XVI. + +OF NATIONS THAT USED TO GET DRUNK. + + +The plot now begins to thicken upon us, and we are come to give an +account of such nations with whom the custom of getting drunk was +heretofore very much in vogue; and of those with whom this same custom +reigns at this very day. + +When we consult ancient histories upon this point, we learn from +Plato[1], that the Scythians, Thracians, Celt and Iberians, were the +greatest drinkers that ever were. lian[2] says the same in relation to +the Thracians and Illyrians. It is also reported of the Parthians[3], +that the more they drink the more thirsty they grow. + +Athenus[4] also assures us, that the Thracians were great drinkers; and +he says the same thing of the Milesians, Illyrians, Lydians, Persians, +Carthaginians, Gauls, and Spaniards. + +The Tapyrians were so much given to wine, that they past their whole +lives in drinking, and even bathed their bodies in wine[5]. + +The Tarentins used to drink from morning till night, and got quite drunk +in public[6]. + +The Leontins, a people in Sicily, were such great drunkards, that they +occasioned this proverb, viz. the Leontins are always near a cup of +wine[7]. + +The Byzantins must not be refused a place in this chapter. lian +reports[8], that Leonides, their general, being besieged, and unable to +make his men keep their posts, which they quitted every moment to go and +get drunk at the taverns, he immediately gave orders that the vintners +should repair with all their liquors to the ramparts, by which stratagem +he kept them to their duty. + +But as it may be said that the nations we have already mentioned were +all barbarous, we shall, for that reason, verify what Montaigne says, +that amongst nations the best regulated, and most polite, this essay of +drinking deep was very much in use[9]. + +The Greeks, whom one may look upon as the only nation of the world for +politeness and good sense, are a proof of what I advance. They +celebrated the feasts of Bacchus with a great deal of solemnity; it is +from them that Pergrcari, of which every one knows the signification, +is derived. lian assures us, that they were so very luxurious, that +they put perfumed oils into their wine, which they called wine of myrrh. + +The Romans had also a very strong passion for wine, so that at Rome +there were frequently very great seditions for want of it. _Seditiones +sunt concitat graves ob inopiam vini_[10], says Ammianus Marcellinus, +in the Life of Constantius and Gallus; and in the reign of Constantius +only, the same historian says, there was a sedition also upon that very +account. + +Titus Livius tells us, that the Clusians passed the Alps, and came to +inhabit the country that the Etrurians possessed before, to have the +pleasure of drinking wine[11]. + +Let us now descend to some nations, with whom, at present, this custom +of getting drunk is received. + +Sir Paul Ricaut[12] assures us, that the Turks considering that wine +rejoices the heart, and comforts the stomach, have begun to drink it; +adding, that at present there are only a few (ulamah) ecclesiastical +hypocrites or some ignorant bigots, or superannuated people, that +abstain from that liquor; but at the same time drunkenness is grown very +common amongst them. + +M. Du Mont confirms this truth, "As to wine," says he, "though it be as +expressly forbidden as swine's flesh, it is nevertheless very certain +that a great many Mahometans transgress that precept; and the justest +thing that I can say in that respect is, that abstinence from wine is +observed there almost after the same manner as Lent in France[13]." + +The Persians too drink wine to excess, though their law forbids the use +of it; and they say for an excuse, "That it is to pass away the time, +and sweeten the cares that surprise them[14]." + +The Armenians are no way behind the Persians, if we may believe +Tavernier, who says, that with them, "He that treats thinks he has +handsomely acquitted himself of his entertainment, if his guests cannot +find the door when they have a mind to go home, which would very often +happen, without the assistance of their servants, who lead them, and yet +have not power enough sometimes to keep them from falling down in the +room, or in the street, which is a great satisfaction to the host; for +if he finds any of them master of so much judgment as to guide himself, +though he reels never so much, he laments very much, as having the +misfortune of spending his money to no purpose[15]. + +The Siameze drink wine very heartily when they can get it, though every +thing that may intoxicate them is forbidden by their law[16]. + +Father le Clerc, author of a Relation of Gaspesia, assures us, that +drunkenness is the favourite vice of the inhabitants of that +country[17]. + +The inhabitants of the coast of Africa are great drunkards; they would +give all they had in the world for a glass of brandy. At Loanda, capital +of the kingdom of Angola, afirkin of wine sells for above thirty pounds +sterling. They love it extremely, and they tell you a pleasant story +hereupon of the great duke of Bamba, which is a province of the king of +Congo, viz. that he once refused the crown, as he himself owned to the +fathers missioners, that he might be always near the Portuguese, and +drink, by their means, sometimes a little wine or brandy[18]. + +The Muscovites love wine with a kind of fury, and it has been known, +that when a man who has drunk to excess, and can swallow no more, they +wash him soundly with it. And in Germany you are not looked upon to have +treated your guest like a friend, if you do not reduce him to that +condition, as quite to forget himself, and know not what he does[19]. + +"As Georgia produces strong wines, so its inhabitants are great +drunkards, the strongest liquors is what they love most; and at their +entertainments they drink more brandy than wine, women as well as +men.[20]" + +Sir John Chardin[21] assures us, That there is no country in the world +where they drink so much wine, and more excellent, than they do at +Georgia; adding, that the Georgians are great drunkards, and that the +clergy get drunk as well as the laity. + + Like people like priest. + + Quales populus talis sacerdos. + +We have taken care not to forget Germany. _Vocabitur hc quoque votis._ +Which we reserve to the next chapter. + + + [Footnote 1: Lips. cent. 3, ep. li.] + + [Footnote 2: Lib. ii. cap. 15.] + + [Footnote 3: Erasm. Adag.] + + [Footnote 4: Lib. x. cap. 10.] + + [Footnote 5: lian, lib. iii. cap. 13.] + + [Footnote 6: Lib. xii.] + + [Footnote 7: Forner de Ebriet. lib. i. cap. 12.] + + [Footnote 8: Lib. iii. cap. 14.] + + [Footnote 9: Essays, l. ii. cap. 2.] + + [Footnote 10: Hist. Aug. Script. ed. 1609. fol. p.414, and + p.425.] + + [Footnote 11: P. 85.] + + [Footnote 12: Hist. of the Turks.] + + [Footnote 13: Voyage, t. 3, let. v.] + + [Footnote 14: Tavernier's Trav. 1. lib. v. cap. 17.] + + [Footnote 15: Tavern. t. 1, lib. v. cap. 17.] + + [Footnote 16: Loubere, liv. i. ch. 9.] + + [Footnote 17: Bibl. Univ. t. xxiii. p. 44.] + + [Footnote 18: Viaggo del Congo.] + + [Footnote 19: Chevrean, t. ii. p. 215.] + + [Footnote 20: Tavern. t. 1, liv. iii. ch. 9.] + + [Footnote 21: Voyag. t. ii. p. 129.] + + + + +CHAP. XVII. + +OF THE DRUNKENNESS OF THE GERMANS. + + +The Germans were, in all times and ages, great drinkers, and in the +words of one of their own poets, + + "Illic nobilitas, terno nomine digna + Exhaurire cados, siccareque pocula longa[1]." + + ---------------------- worthy eternal fame! + 'Tis there a piece of true nobility, + To empty casks, and drink deep goblets dry. + +To demonstrate the origin of their bibacity, it is absolutely necessary +to go higher than Tacitus, who in the treatise which he composed in +relation to their customs and manners, thus speaks: "It is no shame with +them to pass whole days and nights in drinking; but quarrellings are +very frequent amongst them, as are usual amongst folks in that respect, +and more often end at daggers drawing than in Billingsgate. It is, +however, in such meetings, that alliances and reconciliations are +formed. Here they treat of the election of princes. In short, of all +affairs, of peace and war. Those opportunities they think most proper, +inasmuch as then people shake off all disguise of thought and +reflection, and the heat of debauch engages the soul of man to +resolutions the most bold and hardy[2]." + +Owen, our countryman, has made an epitaph in honour of these our +substantial topers, the Germans; the sense of which is, that if truth +lies hidden in wine, they are the first people in the world that will +find it out. His words are, + + Si latet in vino verum, ut proverbia dicunt, + Invenit verum Teuto vel inveniet. + +Let us see now what travellers have said on this subject of the Germans: +and we will begin with M.Aug. de Thou[3], an eye-witness thereof. +"There is," says he, "before Mulhausen, alarge place, or square, where, +during the fair, assemble a prodigious number of people, of both sexes, +and of all ages; there one may see wives supporting their husbands, +daughters their fathers, tottering upon their horses or asses, atrue +image of a Bacchanal. The public-houses are full of drinkers, where the +young women who wait, pour wine into goblets out of a large bottle with +a long neck, without spilling one drop. They press you to drink with +pleasantries the most agreeable in the world. People drink here +continually, and return at all hours to do the same thing over again." + +This pleasant sight, so new to M. de Thou, continues almost all night. +And what is very particular amongst such a great concourse of people, +and such a number of drunkards, every thing passes without dispute and +quarrelling. + +Let us now see what the duke de Rohan says on this head, whose words are +these[4]:-- "From thence I came to Trent, aplace noways agreeable, and +famous for nothing but the last council which was held there; and if it +was not that it was half Italian, (being glad of coming out of little +Barbary, and a universal tippling-house,) Iwould take no notice of it; +being well satisfied, that the mathematicians of our times can no where +find out the perpetual motion so well as here, where the goblets of +Germans are an evident demonstration of its possibility--they think they +cannot make good cheer, nor permit friendship or fraternity, as they +call it, with any, without giving the seal brimful of wine, to seal it +for perpetuity." + +M. Misson, who was also some time in Germany, gives us yet a larger +description. "The Germans," says he[5], "are, as you know, strange +drinkers. There are no people in the world more caressing, more civil, +more officious, but still another cup. They have terrible customs on +that article of drinking. Every thing is transacted over the bottle; you +can do nothing without drinking. One can scarce speak three words at a +visit, but you are astonished to see the collation come in, or at least +a good quantity of wine, attended with crusts of bread cut into little +pieces, upon a plate with salt and pepper, afatal preparative for bad +drinkers. Imust instruct you in the laws they observe in their cups; +laws sacred and inviolable. You must never drink without drinking some +one's health, which having done, you must immediately present the glass +to the party you drank to, who must never refuse it, but drink it to the +last drop. Reflect a little, Ibeseech you, on these customs, and you +will see how, and by what means, it is impossible to cease from +drinking. After this manner one shall never have done. It is a perpetual +circle to drink after the German fashion; it is to drink for ever. +You must likewise know, that the glasses too are respected in those +countries as much as the wine is loved; they range them all about in +ranks and files; most of their rooms are wainscotted up two thirds of +the wall, and the glasses are ranged all about, like organ pipes, upon +the cornish. They begin with the small, and end with the large ones, +which are like melon glasses, and must be taken off at one draught, when +they drink any health of importance." + +Let us observe here[6], "That it was the custom of the ancient Greeks to +drink largely after meals, and that this custom is now practised in +Germany." This was what neas, and the people of his train, used to do, +as we learn from these verses of Virgil[7]:-- + + "Postquam prima quies epulis, mensque remot, + Crateras magnas statuunt et vina coronant. + + After the teeth had gain'd their first repose, + The dishes ta'en away, the cloth remov'd, + The rich repast gigantic tankards close, + Replete with wines, by nicest tastes approv'd. + +It is the same thing with the Armenians, they never drink till at the +end of their meals. "After they have said grace, the dishes are removed, +in order to bring in the desert, and then they prepare themselves to +drink to excess." + +We come now to the Swiss. Here follows what Daniel Eremita, avery +learned man, who published a description of their country, has said of +them. "[8]They have the same simplicity in drinking, but they do not +keep the same moderation. Wine is what they place their delight in, and +they prefer it to all things in the world. At their assemblies, both for +pleasure and business, or any other affairs, wine always makes a party; +with which, when they have overloaded their stomach, they discharge it, +and sit down to it again, and drink as they did at first. They leave the +care of their family to their wives and children, who live with the +utmost economy, in favour of their husbands, who are continually at the +tavern. They talk with glass in hand, and please themselves in that +posture to recount their acts and jests, and those of their ancestors, +as examples to posterity. They speak freely all they know, and know not +what a secret is. In short, this way of life does not only continue +whole days successively, but all the time they live." + +Nor have things now taken another aspect in Switzerland. The author of a +travel lately into that country, tells us for certain, that "wine is a +singular attractive, apowerful charm, against which the Swiss can make +no manner of resistance[9]." + +Before I close this chapter I shall take notice of the Flemings, whom we +ought to look upon as making part of Germany, who, though they are +surrounded by water, take care never to drink any, which made Scaliger, +when in Holland, say to Douza, + + "In mediis habitamus aquis, quis credere possit + Et tamen hic null, Douza, bibuntur aqu[10]." + + Amidst the waters here we live, + Yet who can any credit give + To what I say, for, Douza, here + No water drinkers e'er appear. + +Guicciardin, in his description of the low countries, accuses the people +of drinking too much. _Hanno_[11], says he, _poi per la maggior parte +quel vitio del bere troppo_. He adds, however, "That they are in some +sort excusable, because the air of the country being for the most part +of the year humid, and apt to inspire melancholy, they could not, +perhaps, make use of a more efficacious remedy to expel this irksome, +unwholesome melancholy, than wine, which, Isuppose, was Horace's +sentiment, when he said, With wine drive away care. The words in the +original are, _Ma sono in qualche parte scusabili, per che essendo +l'aria del paese il pui del tempo humida et malinconica, non potrieno +peraventura trovar instromento piu idoneo a scacciare et battere la +malinconia odiosa et mal sana che il vino, si come pare che accerni +Horatio dicendo. Vino pellite curas._" + +But without any farther talking of the Germans, Ishall end this chapter +with this necessary remark, that one need not go out of England for +examples of hard drinking, our country, God bless it, does not come +behind any other in this particular. + + + [Footnote 1: G. Brusch. Inter. p. 405.] + + [Footnote 2: Diem noctemque continuare nullum probium, crebr ut + inter vinolentos rix, raro conviciis sepius cede et vulneribus + transiguntur. Sed et de reconciliandis invicem inimicitiis et + pangendis affinitatibus et adsciscendis principibus, de pace + denique ac bello plerunque in conviviis consultant; tanquam nullo + magis tempore aut ad simplices cogitationes patea animus, aut ad + magnas incalescat.] [[Tacitus, _Germania_ 22.]] + + [Footnote 3: Memoir de Thou. liv. ii. p. 63.] + + [Footnote 4: Voyag. p. 27. ed. 1646.] + + [Footnote 5: Voyage de Italie, t. i. let. 9.] + + [Footnote 6: Chevreana, t. ii. p. 188.] + + [Footnote 7: neid, lib. i. v. 723.] [[i.e. 723-724.]] + + [Footnote 8: Ed. viii. p. 411.] + + [Footnote 9: Voyag. de Rouvier, p. 89.] + + [Footnote 10: De admir. Holland.] + + [Footnote 11: Ed. fol. 1567, p. 29.] + + + + +CHAP. XVIII. + +OF NATIONS THAT GET DRUNK WITH CERTAIN LIQUORS. + + +As every country does not produce wine, but, according to the poet[1], + + "Hic segetes, illic veniunt flicius uv." + + _Here_ wheat, more happily _there_ grows the grape. + +Those nations, with whom there are no vines, have invented other drinks +to make themselves merry. Pliny[2] tells us, That the western people got +drunk with certain liquors made with fruits; and that these liquors have +different names in Gaul and Spain, though they produce the same effect. + +Ammianus Marcellinus reports, That the Gauls having no wine in their +country, though they are very fond of it, contrive a great many sorts of +liquors, which produce the same effect as wine. _Vini avidum genus +adfectans ad vini similitum dinem multiplices potus._ + +The Scythians had no wine, as appears by the answer of Anacharsis, the +philosopher, who being asked, If they had none that played on the flute +in Scythia, replied, That they had not so much as any wine there. +However, for all that, they got drunk with certain liquors which had the +force and strength of wine. This also we learn from these words of +Virgil:-- + + "Ipsi in defossis specubus, secura subalt + Otia agunt terr, congestaque robora tolasque + Advolvere focis ulmos, ignique dedere. + Hic noctem ludo ducunt, et pocula lti + Fermento, atque acidis imitantur vitea sorbis."[2a] + + Secure, in quiet ease, they dwell in caves + Deep dug in earth, and to their chimneys roll + Whole oaks and elms entire, which flames devour. + Here all the night, in sport and merry glee, + They pass and imitate, with acid service, + By fermentation vinous made, the grape. + +The Thracians intoxicate themselves by swallowing the fumes of certain +herbs, which they cast into the fire. + +The Babylonians, according to Herodotus, used likewise to get drunk, +by swallowing the fumes of certain herbs that they burned. + +Strabo reports, That the Indians made a certain drink with sugar canes, +which made them merry; very probably not unlike what we now call rum. + +Benso, in his History of America, says the same of the inhabitants of +the island of Hispaniola, and several other provinces of America. + +Pliny and Athenus tell us, that the Egyptians fuddled themselves with a +drink made of barley; by this it seems the liquor of Sir John +Barley-Corn is very ancient. + +Leri[3], in his Voyage to Brazil, tells us, That the inhabitants of that +country are as great drinkers as the Germans, Flemings, Lansquenets, +Swiss: and all those merry gentleman who love carousing, and drink +supernaculum, ought to agree, that they are even with them. Their drink +is made of certain roots, which they boil and ferment, and is then +called by them in their language, _cahou-in_. The author adds, "That he +has seen them not only drink three days and nights successively without +ceasing, but that they were so very drunk, that they could swallow no +more till they had disgorged, which was in order to begin again. + +"There [4]grows in the Eastern countries certain particular drugs, with +which the inhabitants are wonderfully delighted, and which produce a +kind of drunkenness, or agreeable folly, which continues some time. They +are so much accustomed to the use of these drugs, by a long habit, that +they imagine that life must be very sad and unhappy without them. +The Indians and Persians have their bangu, the Egyptians their bola, +and the Turks their opium." + +In relation to the Persians, Tavernier[5] has these words, viz. "They +have a sort of drink to divert and make themselves merry, which they +call kokemaar, made of poppy-seeds boiled. They drink it scalding hot; +and there are particular houses, called kokemaar kron, where people +meet, and give a great deal of pleasure and delight to those who see the +ridiculous postures which this kind of liquor makes them perform. Before +it operates they quarrel with one another, and give abusive language, +without coming to blows; afterwards when the drug begins to have its +effect, then they also begin to make peace. One compliments in a very +high degree, another tells stories, but all are extremely ridiculous +both in their words and actions." And after having spoken of other +liquors that they make use of, he adds, "It is difficult to find in +Persia a man that is not addicted to some one of these liquors, without +which they think they cannot live but very unpleasantly." + +I take no notice here of that admirable drink called Punch with us; nor +Juniper-water, (vulgarly called Geneva, acorruption from the French +word Genevre, which signifies the same thing,) nor that dram called +All-fours, which have such wonderful effects on the wretched commonalty. + + + [Footnote 1: Virgil.] [[_Georgics_ I.54.]] + + [Footnote 2: Const. et Jul. lib. 16.] + + [[Footnote 2a: Virgil, _Georgics_ III.376-380.]] + + [Footnote 3: P. 126, ed. 1594.] + + [Footnote 4: L'Emer. des Alim. part iii. ch. 2.] + + [Footnote 5: T. 1, lib. v. ch. 17.] + + + + +CHAP. XIX. + +OTHER CONSIDERATIONS IN FAVOUR OF DRUNKENNESS. + + +Drunkenness will (and ought to do so) appear excusable to people the +most sober, if they would but make these two reflections following, viz. + + +I. _That drunkards are not generally given to lewdness._ + +Aristotle says, "That too much drinking makes one very improper for the +acts of Venus, and gives his reasons. Athenus reports the same thing in +that passage, where he makes mention of the drunkenness of Alexander the +Great, avice," says he, "which, perhaps, was the cause of his little +inclination for the ladies." + +Montaigne[1] speaks very well on this article, "These," says he, "are +two things which vigorously oppose each other; this weakens our stomach +on one hand; whereas, on the other, sobriety serves to make us more +quaint and delicate in the exercise of love." + +Ovid[2] says much the same thing. + + "Vina parant animum veneri, nisi plurima sumas, + Ut stupeant multo corda sepulta mero." + + Wine, not too much, inspires, and makes the mind + To the soft joys of Venus strong inclin'd, + Which buried in excess, unapt to love, + Stupidly lies, and knows not how to move. + + +II. _That in those countries where they do not drink to excess, they are +very much addicted to debauchery._ + +It is certain, that in hot countries they drink a great deal less +than they do in cold, but in lieu of that, lewdness reigns much more. +Montaigne[3], after having observed, that they began to drink less +than they used to do, adds, "Does any one think it tends to amendment? +No, indeed; but, perhaps, we are much more given to whoring than our +forefathers." + +This puts me in mind of an Italian, who having reproached a German with +the drunkenness of his country, by these verses, viz. + + "Germani multos possunt tolerare labores + O utinam possint tam tolerare sitim." + + The Germans (patient) toil, inur'd to pain, + Oh! could they but their thirst so well sustain! + +The German answered him extempore in these other two:-- + + "Ut nos vitis amor, sic vos Venus improba vexat + Est data lex veneri Julia, nulla mero." + + As we love wine, so wicked Venus you, + Twas _this_, not _that_, the Julian Edict knew. + +In order to draw a consequence from all this, let us speak once more of +Montaigne[4], whose words are, "And if we cannot give any pleasure but +what costs us something, as the ancients maintain, Ifind this vice +costs the conscience less than all the rest, besides, it is in this +respect no despicable consideration, that a man advanced in honours, +amongst three principal conveniencies of life, that he told me he yet +enjoyed, he reckoned this for one." + +After having shewn, in the foregoing chapters, That drunkenness reigns +all the world over, _Nulla in parte mundi cessat ebrietas_. Let us see +what we may hence infer in its favour: and I ask, if the agreement of so +many different nations, to do one and the same thing, proves nothing, +and may not, in some measure, serve as an apology for drunkenness? +For if one considers, that the surprising variety of the humour and +temperament of men, do, notwithstanding, in nowise hinder them from +agreeing unanimously in this point, one shall have a very strong +temptation to believe, that the desire of getting drunk is an innate +quality, and we shall be confirmed in this sentiment, after tasting +experimentally the exquisite sweetness caused by drunkenness. + +To conclude, + + All drink, throughout the universe, 'tis plain, + The moon drinks up the sea, the earth the rain, + The sun the air, and ev'ry tree, we know, + The earth's prolific juice imbibes to grow. + The air sups up the water too, 'tis said, + Why then, my dearest friends, d'ye plague my head, + And angry grow, because, dry soul[5], I swill + New wine, drink fit for gods, and quaff my fill. + + + [Footnote 1: Essais, l. ii. ch. 2.] + + [Footnote 2: De Remed. Amor.] + + [Footnote 3: Essais, liv. ii. ch. 2.] + + [Footnote 4: Essais, liv. ii. ch. 2.] + + [Footnote 5: Anima mea non potest habitare in sicco. S.Aug.] + + + + +CHAP. XX. + +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT DRUNKENNESS CAUSES INFINITE EVILS. + + +After having specified the good qualities of drunkenness, let us now +answer some frivolous objections that may be made against what we have +here advanced. For example, people will not be wanting immediately to +object, that drunkenness has been the cause of infinite evils. + +To this I answer, that it has been only the cause of these evils when +people have pushed it too far, and not observed the rules they ought to +keep in drinking, and which we shall see here prescribed by and by. For +where do we find that any one, of so many grave philosophers that used +to get drunk, made any disorders? It was for this reason that +Chrisippus's maid said, That her master was drunk in the hams. And it +was on this very account, perhaps, that the Stoics said of their sage, +"That he was, indeed, to be overcome with wine, but would not, however, +be drunk, _Vino obrutum iri non ebrium tamen futurum_." + +On the other hand, without being willing to excuse those disorders which +drunkenness has been the cause of, one may say, nevertheless, that some +of these disorders have produced effects highly advantageous. "Suppose, +for example, that Lot had not got drunk, and his two daughters had not +been possessed with the furious desire of having children, and the fear +of dying maids, you ruin, by this means, whole families, who bore a +great part in the wonderful events of the children of Israel[1]." + +Their high mightinesses the States of Holland, have eternal obligations +to drunkenness, since to this they owe, in some sort, the establishment +of their republic, which was after this manner, according to Strada:-- +[2]The same day that Brederode, accompanied by above two hundred +gentlemen, had presented that famous petition to Margaret of Parma, who +then governed the Netherlands, he gave a magnificent entertainment in +the house of the Count of Culenbourg, there was no want of drinking; +and as they saw the Count of Hoocstrate, who by chance passed that way, +they began, with a great deal of joy, to give one another the name of +Gueux[3]; upon which taking each of them all together great glasses in +their hands, they made vows and oaths to each other by the name of +Gueux, and cried out with one voice and general applause, Long live the +Gueux! After which they promised mutual fidelity; and the Prince of +Orange and the Counts of Egmont and Horn coming to them, they began to +drink again, and with great acclamation renewed vows and wishes with +these new comers, as they had already done, for the Gueux. At last, in +the heat of wine, they took those vigorous resolutions, the effects of +which were afterwards seen, which was the liberty of the United +Provinces. + + + [Footnote 1: Lett. xvi. sur la Crit. du Calvin.] + + [Footnote 2: Strada de Bello Belgico, part i. lib.5.] + + [Footnote 3: The French word for beggars.] + + + + +CHAP. XXI. + +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT THE MIRTH WHICH WINE INSPIRES IS +CHIMERICAL. + + +It will be objected, without doubt, that the mirth which wine inspires +is imaginary, and without any foundation, and that, as Boileau hasit, + + "Rien n'est beau que le vrai. Le vrai seul est aimable." + + Nothing so beautiful as what is true, + That it is only lovely is its due. + +I very willingly own, that this joy and mirth is nothing else than the +effect of our imagination. + + Full well I'm satisfied 'tis nothing all + But a deceitful hope, less solid far, + A thousand times, than is the moving sand; + But are not all things so with wretched man? + All things soon pass away like rapid streams + Which hasten to the sea, where lost for ever + In th' ocean's vast abyss unknown they lie. + Our wisest wishes and desires are vain, + Abstracted vanities, gay painted bubbles, + That break when touch'd, and vanish into air. + Love, wisdom, knowledge, riches, phantoms all. + +But before we thoroughly refute this objection, Ishall observe by the +way, that errors and illusions are necessary to the world. "[1]In +general, indeed, it is true to say, that the world, as it is now, cannot +keep itself in the same condition, were not men full of a thousand false +prejudices and unreasonable passions; and if philosophy went about to +make men act according to the clear and distinct ideas of reason, we +might, perhaps, be satisfied, that mankind would quickly be at an end. +Errors, passions, prejudices, and a hundred other the like faults, are +as a necessary evil to the world. Men would be worth nothing for this +world, were they cured, and the greatest part of the things which now +take up our time, would be useless, as Quintilian well knew, namely, +eloquence. + +Things are in this condition, and will not easily change, and we may +wait long enough for such a happy revolution, before we shall be able to +say, with Virgil, + + "Magnus ab integro sculorum nascitur ordo."[1a] + + A series long of ages now appear, + Entirely new to man, before unknown. + +On the other hand, "[2]If you take away from man every thing that is +chimerical, what pleasure will you leave him? Pleasures are not things +so solid, as to permit us to search them to the bottom; one must only +just touch them and away. They resemble boggy and moorish ground, we +must run lightly over them, without ever letting our feet make the least +impression." + + No, wheresoe'er we turn our wishing eye, + True pleasures never can our souls enjoy. + +Let us add, "[3]That if we did not help to deceive ourselves, we should +never enjoy any pleasure at all. The most agreeable things in this world +are, in the bottom, so trivial, that they would not much affect us, if +we made but never so little serious reflection upon them. Pleasures are +not made to be strictly examined into, and we are obliged every day to +pass over a great many things in them, about which it would not be +proper to make one-self uneasy." + +Besides, "[4]Is not the illusion we enjoy as valuable as the good we +possess? M.Fontenelle makes a very excellent observation hereupon in +these verses[5]:-- + + "Souvent en s'attachant a des fantmes vains + Notre raison seduite avec plaisir s'egare. + Elle-mme joit des objets qu'elle a feints. + Et cette illusion pour quelque tems repare + Le defaut des vrais biens que la Nature avare + N'a pas accordez aux humains." + + Often enchanted by the 'luring charms + Of phantoms gay, our reason all seduc'd, + With pleasure roams thro' endless desarts wild, + Enjoys the objects which herself has form'd. + And this illusion for some time repairs + The want of real joys, which niggard Nature + Never has granted to unhappy man. + +"Enjoyment," says Montaigne[6], "and possession, belong principally to +imagination, which embraces more eagerly that which it is in pursuit of, +than that which we have in our power." + +And certainly, one may pronounce them happy, who thus amuse themselves, +and believe themselves to be so. And indeed, when a man is so far gone +in this persuasion, every thing that is alleged to the contrary is +rejected as a fable. + +But to shew, at present, the reality, if one may say so, of mere +illusion, we need go no farther than the poets, who are certainly the +happiest mortals living in that respect. + +To instance no more, there's Mr. --------, who would fain be a rhimer, +and that is his folly; but though the poor man, for his insipid verses, +and improper epithets, richly deserves our pity, yet is he wonderfully +pleased with his performances, and with a great deal of tranquillity +mounts up Parnassus, in his own conceit, in loftier tracts than Virgil +or Theocritus ever knew. But, alas! what would become of him, if some +audacious person should dare unbind his eyes, and make him see his weak +and graceless lines, which, however smoothly they may run, are, at best, +but exquisitely dull; contain terms that have no meaning in them, and +have no other ornament, but unintelligible jingle, and initial letters? +How would he curse the day which deprived his senseless soul of that +happy error that so much charmed his thoughts, and amused his +imagination? + +What is here said of the poets is applicable to all mankind; and so a +man, whom any one should undertake to persuade, that the mirth and joy +inspired by wine is chimerical, would do well to answer him, after the +manner as a certain madman did the doctor that cured him. The story is +this:-- + +Once upon a time a certain bigot, otherwise a man of sense, had his +brain a little touched with whimsies, and continually fancied he heard +the heavenly music of the blessed spirits. At last a physician, very +expert in his profession, cured him, either by his skill, or by chance, +no matter which; but when he came to demand his fees; for what? says the +other, in a violent passion, by your damned slip-slops and hellish art, +you have robbed me of my Paradise, though you have cured me of my error. +This I borrow from Boileau[7], as he did from Horace[8]. + +"[9]There are," says Pere Bouhours, writing to Bussi Rabutin, "agreeable +errors, which are much more valuable than that which the Spaniards +called desengano, and which might be called in our language +disabusement, if this word, which one of our best writers has ventured +upon, had been received." + +We shall conclude with M. de Sacy[10], "That it is not always doing +mankind an agreeable service to dissipate their illusions." And we say +of those who taste those satisfactions wine inspires, what M.Bayle says +very pleasantly of news-mongers who are still in hopes of what they wish +for. "They are[11]," says he, "the least unhappy, whatever happens. +There is a great deal of reality in their agreeable sentiments, how +chimerical soever their foundation may be; so that they do not willingly +suffer themselves to be disabused; and they sometimes say, when one +gives them reasons why they should believe the news, that makes them so +joyful, is doubtful or absolutely false, Why do you envy us the +pleasures we enjoy? Do not disturb our entertainment, or rob us of what +we hold most dear. Afriend more opposite to error than charity is a +very troublesome reasoner; and if he meddles with their chimeras they +will endeavour to do him a diskindness." + +We come now to another objection, and that is, that this joy inspired by +wine is but of a very short continuance; and the pleasure one tastes in +so short a space, dearly repaid with a long and tedious uneasiness. +_Ebrietas unius hor hilarem insaniam longo temporis tedio pensat._ + +I own that it is a very great misery, that our pleasures are so short: +and the shorter too, the more exquisite they are. And, perhaps, this may +be a kindness to us, since some are so superlatively so, that should +they continue a much longer space, mankind could not support themselves +under these ecstacies. But be this as it will, can we make them +otherwise than they are? We must therefore have patience, and take them +as we find them. In short, there is no present happiness in the world; +all we can do, is to be contented with the present, not uneasy at what +is to come, but sweeten with an equality of soul the bitter miseries of +human life. + + + [Footnote 1: Lett. xvi. sur la Crit. de Calvin, p.516.] + + [[Footnote 1a: Virgil, _Eclogues_ IV.5.]] + + [Footnote 2: Fontenelle Dial. d'Elisab. et du D. d'Alenon.] + + [Footnote 3: Fontenelle Dial. des Morts de Callirh. et de Paulin.] + + [Footnote 4: Nov. Dial. des Dieux. p. 68.] + + [Footnote 5: Poesies Pastor.] + + [Footnote 6: Essais, lib. iii. ch. 9.] + + [Footnote 7: Satire iv. M. la Vayer.] + + [Footnote 8: Lib. ii. ep. 2.] + + [Footnote 9: Lett. de Rab. t. iii. lett. 63.] + + [Footnote 10: De l'Amiti, p. 2.] + + [Footnote 11: Rep. aux Quest. d'un Prov. t. i. ch.20.] + + + + +CHAP. XXII. + +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT ONE LOSES ONE'S REASON IN GETTING +DRUNK. + + +It is objected here, that reason ought to be the motive of all our +actions; and, of consequence, that we ought not voluntarily to loseit. + +To this objection I answer several ways:-- First and foremost then, +Isay, people do well to talk to us so much of reason, when almost all +mankind acts without reason, so that it may pass for a thing that has no +manner of existence but in the imagination. We shall prove this from +M.Bayle. "[1]We are defined," says he, "areasonable animal. Avery +fine definition indeed, when none of us do any thing but without reason. +Iassure you, sir, that one may say of reason, what Euripides said in +the beginning of one of his tragedies, and which afterwards was +corrected, on account of the murmurings of the people. OJupiter, for of +thee I know nothing but only the name! In relation to the faculty I am +talking of, we know nothing more of it than that, so that we may well +laugh at the complaints of that heathen philosopher, who found that +reason was a very troublesome present sent to us by the gods for our +ruin; for he supposed, that reason busied herself in our affairs, +whereas the truth of it is she never meddles in the least with them. +We act nothing but with prejudice, by instinct, by self-love, and the +sudden starts of a thousand passions, which drag and turn our reason as +they will, insomuch that one may most justly define the principle which +rules and domineers over us, amass of prejudices and passions which +knows how to draw consequences. Iremember to have seen a man, who +having never heard mention made of the Cotta of Cicero, said +nevertheless as well as he, that it would have been much better that God +had not made us reasonable, since reason poisons all our affairs, and +makes us ingenious to afflict ourselves, upon which a certain person +said to him in raillery, That he had what he desired; that he had +received so small a share of reason that it was not worth his while to +complain. For my part, Iturned the thing otherwise, that people were +much in the wrong to murmur against reason, since it is not that which +guides us; and that it is not too possible it should, without +overthrowing the order which has reigned so long in the world. The +learned Erasmus, continued I, deserves the highest praise in this +respect; he has written The Praise of Folly, wherein he shews that she +sheds every where her influence, and without her, the whole world would +in a short time be turned topsy turvy. Imake no doubt, sir, but you +know the merit of that work. The author speaks, though in a merry +manner, the greatest truths in the world; and I do not know whether he +believed himself as profound a philosopher, as he really was in that +ingenious satire." + +Secondly, This is not all, "[2]It is sometimes necessary, for the +general good of the world, to follow prejudices, popular errors, and the +blind instincts of nature, rather than the distinct ideas of reason." +Mr. Bayle extends himself farther on this idea in another place[3], +which I shall here insert. "Errors," says he, "irregular passions, and +unreasonable prejudices, are so necessary to the world to make it a +theatre of that prodigious diversity of events which make one admire his +providence. So that he who would reduce men to do nothing but according +to the distinct ideas of reason, would ruin civil society. If man was +reduced to this condition, he would have no longer any desire of glory; +and having no longer that desire, is it not true, that then mankind +would be like ice? Isay, he would have no desire of glory, for right +reason shews us, that we should not make our happiness depend on the +judgment of other men; and consequently, that we should not toil and +fatigue ourselves, to make other people say this, or that, of us----. +The earnest desire of being praised after death is an instinct of +morality that God has impressed in the mind of man, to keep up society. +And it is certain, that earnest desire has been the cause of the +greatest events; and this ought to instruct us that the world stands in +need of a great many instincts, which, examined according to the ideas +of our reason, are ridiculous and absurd. For there is nothing so +opposite to reason as to torment ourselves in this life, that we may be +praised after we are dead, since neither philosophy, nor experience, nor +faith, nor any thing whatsover, makes it appear, that the praises given +us after death can do us any good. It would be a thing uneasy to the +heart of man, if we did nothing but according to the light of reason; +and how many designs would come to nothing at the same time?" + +Thirdly, Besides, reason very often serves for nothing but to make us +wretched. "The happiness of man is never the work of reason." Of all our +evils reason is often the worst; it frightens us in the full career of +our pleasures, and with importunate remorses comes to bridle our fleet +desires. The horrid thing reserves for us most cruel and matchless +rigours. It is like a troublesome pedant one is forced to hear, who +always growls, but never touches us, and frequently like D------, +and such like venerable impertinents, lose the time they employ in +predication. + +"If there be any happiness[4]," says Fontenelle, "that reason produces, +it is like that sort of health which cannot be maintained but by the +force of physic, and which is ever most feeble and uncertain." And in +another place he cries out, "[5]Can we not have sound sight without +being at the same time wretched and uneasy? Is there any thing gay but +error? And is reason made for any thing else but to torment and kill +us?" "[6]What cause have not men to bewail their wretched condition? +Nature furnishes them but with a very few things that are agreeable, and +their reason teaches them how to enjoy them yet less." "[7]And why has +Nature, in giving us passions which are sufficient to make us happy, +given us reason, that will not suffer us to beso?" + +It was this same troublesome reason that made Sophocles say, "[8]It is +very sweet to live, but none of your wisdom, away with her, she spoils +life." + + Vaunt less thy reason, O unhappy man! + Behold how useless is this gift celestial, + For which, they say, thou should'st the rest disdain. + Feeble as thou wert in thy infant days, + Like thee she mov'd, she totter'd, and was weak. + When age mature arriv'd, and call'd to pleasures, + Slave to thy sense, she still was so to thee, + When fifty winters, Fate had let thee count; + Pregnant with thousand cares and worlds of woes, + The hateful issue in thy breast she threw, + And now grown old thou loosest her for ever. + +Before I end this chapter, let every body take notice, that if for +having spoken so much against reason, any one should say, that it is a +plain sign the author has none; and that there are a great many others, +who, in the words of M.La Motte[9], will be apt to say:-- + + "Heureux cent fois l'auteur avec qui l'on s'oublie + Qui nous offre un charmant poison, + Et nous associant a sa douce folie + Nous affranchit de la raison." + + Happy the author, whose bewitching style, + Life's tedious minutes can beguile, + Makes us, with him, forget uneasy care, + And not remember what we are. + Who by a charm, which no one can withstand, + Enchanting poison can command, + Can make us share his pleasing foolery, + And from dull reason set us free. + +And I shall not be wanting to answer in the words of the same gentleman: + + "[10]Bveurs brisez le joug d'une raison trop fiere + Eteignez son triste flambeau + D'autres enseignent l'art d'augmenter sa lumiere + Mais l'art de l'eteindre est plus beau." + + Break, jolly topers, break th' ungrateful chain + Of reason, if she too imperious grow, + Of being disturb'd you never need complain, + If you put out her troublesome flambeau. + Others may teach the art t' increase her fires, + To put them out a finer art requires. + + + [Footnote 1: Lett. xxii, sur la Crit. du Calv. p. 756.] + + [Footnote 2: Lett. sur la Crit. du Calv. Lett. xvi. p.504.] + + [Footnote 3: Ibid. p. 535.] + + [Footnote 4: Dial. de M. Stuart, et P. Riccio.] + + [Footnote 5: Dial. de Parmen. et de Theb.] + + [Footnote 6: Dial. de Alexand. et Phryne.] + + [Footnote 7: Nouv. Dial. des Dieux, p. 99.] + + [Footnote 8: Mori Encom.] + + [Footnote 9: La Motte, Od. la Vanit.] + + [Footnote 10: Od. Thalia.] + + + + +CHAP. XXIII. + +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT ONE CANNOT TRUST A MAN THAT GETS DRUNK. + + +There is a proverb amongst the Jews. "[1]_Ingrediente vino egreditur +secretum._" As the wine goes in so the secret goes out. Seneca[2] makes +the same objection. "As," says he, "new wine bursts the vessel, and the +heat makes every thing go upwards, so the force of wine is such, that it +brings to light, and discovers, what is most secret and hidden." + +In answer to this objection I say, that people who are naturally secret, +are not less so after drinking. "[3]And Bacchus was not said to be the +inventor of wine, on account of the liberty of his tongue, but because +he freed our minds from disquiet, and makes them more firm and resolute +in what we undertake." + +Besides, do we not see every day, people of all ranks, conditions, and +characters, get drunk, and yet we trust them with secrets, and it very +rarely happens they speak of them when they are drunk. Thus, if we +consult history, we shall learn from Seneca[4] himself, that the design +of killing Csar was as well communicated to Tullius Cimber, who was a +great drinker, as to C.Cassius, who drank nothing but water. And though +L.Piso, governor of Rome, got frequently drunk, he, notwithstanding, +excellently acquitted himself of his duty. Augustus made no manner of +difficulty to give him secret instructions, bestowing on him the +government of Thrace, the conquest of which he entirely completed. +Tiberius, before he left Rome, where he was generally hated, in order to +retire into the Campania, made choice of Costus, who was extremely given +to wine, for governor of that city, to whom he communicated such things +as he dared not trust his own ministers with. + + + [Footnote 1: Voyage de Rouvie, p. 497.] + + [Footnote 2: Ep. 83.] + + [Footnote 3: Seneca de Tranquill.] + + [Footnote 4: Seneca, ep. 83.] + + + + +CHAP. XXIV. + +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT DRUNKENNESS MAKES ONE INCAPABLE OF +PERFORMING THE DUTIES OF CIVIL LIFE. + + +I deny this absolutely, and to prove the contrary, Isay, the Persians +had a custom to deliberate on things the most serious, and of the +greatest importance, after hard drinking. Tacitus reports the same thing +of the Germans. Dampier assures us, that the same custom is practised +with the inhabitants of the Isthmus Darien. And to go higher, one finds +in Homer, that during the siege of Troy, the Greeks, in council, did eat +and drink heartily. An evident proof, that this objection is contrary to +experience. But to go farther, this same experience made the ancients +look on those who could carry a great deal of wine, as persons of a +genius very much superior to those who could not drink at all. On this +account it was, that Cyrus, in writing to the Lacedemonians the reasons +which rendered him more capable of government than his brother, amongst +other things, takes notice, that he could drink more wine than he. And +so many fine productions, for which we are obliged to the drunkenness of +the poets, make it evidently appear, that wine, far from rendering us +incapable of doing any thing that is good, rather helps and incites us +to it. This important truth we shall confirm by several examples. + +Plutarch relates, that Philip king of Macedon, after having conquered +the Athenians, made a feast, at which he got drunk; and that all proud +with that happy success, he nevertheless did a great many things +entirely ridiculous; but being informed that the ambassadors that the +Athenians sent to him to desire peace, wished to see him, he changed his +countenance all of a sudden, and having heard their proposals with all +possible attention, answered them with a great deal of justice. + +The emperor Bonosus, who Amelian said was born not to live, but to +drink, acted always with greater prudence after drinking, says Flavius +Vopiscus, after Onesimus[1]. + +We have taken notice, in the foregoing chapter, that L.Piso, governor +of Rome, though he was often drunk, acquitted himself, notwithstanding, +punctually of his duty. + +Christiern[2], the fourth king of Denmark, drank like a templer, and +never king was more laborious, agreater lover of his subjects, or more +beloved by them. + +Scaliger[3] says, that a German has as much reason when he is drunk, +as when he has drank nothing. _Non minus sapit Germanus ebrius quam +sobrius._ + +Montaigne[4] speaks in his Essays, of a great lord of his time, who, +though he drank every day a prodigious quantity of wine, was, +nevertheless, equally careful in his affairs. According to which, that +which Cicero says is not generally true, viz. "That one must never +expect prudence from a man that is always drunk." _Nec enim ab homine +nunquam sobrio postulanda prudentia_[5]. + +Another proof that drunkenness does not render us incapable of doing any +thing that is good, is, that it inspires people with courage, and even +makes the coward valiant. _Ad prelia trudit inertem._ Experience +confirms this truth. "We see," says Montaigne[6], "that our Germans, +though drowned in wine, remember their post, the word, and their rank." + +We read in Spartien, that a certain general having been vanquished by +the Saracens, his soldiers laid all the blame of their defeat on their +want of wine. + +The soldiers of the army of Pescennius Niger pressed earnestly for wine, +undoubtedly to make them fight the better; but he refused them in these +words, "You have the Nile," said he, "and do you ask for wine?" In +imitation, Isuppose, of the emperor Augustus[7], who, when the people +complained of the dearness and scarcity of wine, said to them, "My +son-in-law, Agrippa, has preserved you from thirst, by the canals he has +made for you." + +By what has been said it plainly appears, that wine is so far from +hindering a man from performing the duties of life, that it rather +forwards him, and is an admirable ingredient in all states and +conditions, both of peace and war, which made Horace[8] thus bespeak the +god of wine. + + "Quanquam choreis aptior et jocis + Ludoque dictus, non sat idoneus + Pugnis ferebaris, sed idem + Pacis eras mediusque belli." + + Tho' thou more apt for love than furious war, + And gay desires to move, thy chiefest care, + Yet war, and sweetest pleasures, you can join, + Both Mars and Venus are devotes to wine. + + + [Footnote 1: Flav. Vopisc. in vita Bonos.] + + [Footnote 2: Amel. de la Houssai sur Tacit. Ann. liv. xi. ch.35.] + + [Footnote 3: Scaligeriana, p. 169.] + + [Footnote 4: L. ii. ch. 2.] + + [Footnote 5: Orat. ii. Philip.] + + [Footnote 6: Essais, l. ii. ch. 2.] + + [Footnote 7: Sueton. in Vit. August.] + + [Footnote 8: Lib. ii. Od. 19.] + + + + +CHAP. XXV. + +BURLESQUE, RIDICULOUS, AND OUT-OF-THE-WAY THOUGHTS, AGAINST DRUNKENNESS. + + +It is reported that Gerson should say, That there was no difference +between a man's killing himself at one stroke, or to procure death by +several, in getting drunk. + +Somebody has burlesqued this verse of Ovid[1]:-- + + Vina parant animos, faciuntque coloribus aptos.[1a] + +And thus changed it, + + Vina parant asinos, faciuntque furoribus aptos. + +Cyneas[2] alluding to those high trees to which they used to fasten the +vines, said one day, discoursing on wine, that it was not without reason +that his mother was hanged upon so high a gibbet. + +"[3]The diversion that people took heretofore in making one another +drunk, appeared more heinous to St. Augustine than an assassination, for +he maintained, that those who made any one drunk, did him greater injury +than if they had given him a stab with a dagger. + +"A Greek[4] physician once wrote a letter to Alexander, in which he +begged him to remember, that every time that he drank wine, he drank the +pure blood of the earth, and that he must not abuseit. + +"[5]Some poets say, that it was the blood of the gods wounded in their +battle with the giants. + +"[6]The Severians in St. Epiphanius, hold, that it was engendered by a +serpent, and it is for that reason that the vine is so strong. And the +Encratites, in the same author, imagine to themselves that it was the +gall of the devil. + +"Noah[7] in an hour of drunkenness," says St. Jerom, "let his body be +seen naked, which he had kept covered for six hundred years." + + + [Footnote 1: Sphinx Theol. p. 682.] + + [[Footnote 1a: Ovid, _Ars Amatoria_ 237.]] + + [Footnote 2: Diver, cur. t. i. p. 141.] + + [Footnote 3: Rep. des Lett. Janv. 1687. Art. I.] + + [Footnote 4: Androcydes.] + + [Footnote 5: Entret. de Voiture, et de Costar, Lett.29.] + + [Footnote 6: Lib. i. Heres. 47.] + + [Footnote 7: Ep. ad Ocean.] + + + + +CHAP. XXVI. + +A RIDICULOUS AVERSION THAT SOME HAVE TO WINE. + + +An aversion to wine is a thing not very common; and there are but a very +few but will say with Catullus:-- + + "At vos quo lubet, hinc abite lymph + Vini pernicies."[a] + + Pernicious water, bane to wine, be gone. + +One should certainly be very much in the wrong to put in the number of +those who had an aversion to wine the duke of Clarence. His brother, +Edward the Fourth, prejudiced with the predictions of Merlin, as if they +foretold, that one day that duke should usurp the crown from his +children, resolved to put him to death, he only gave him the liberty to +choose what death he would die of. The duke being willing to die a merry +death, chose to be drowned in a butt of Malmsey. Not unlike him on whom +this epigram was made. + + "[1]In cyatho vini pleno cum musca periret; + Sic, ait Oeneus, sponte perire velim." + + In a full glass of wine expir'd a fly; + So, said Oeneus, would I freely die. + +But let us come in earnest to those who have really had an antipathy to +wine. Herbelot[2], in his Bibliotheque Orientale, says, that there are +some Mussulmans so superstitious, that they will not call wine by its +true name, which is Schamr and Nedibh; and that there are some princes +amongst them that have forbidden the mentioning of it by express laws. +The reason of all this is, the prohibition of Mahomet to his followers, +which enjoins them not to drink wine. The occasion of which prohibition +is as follows: "[3]They say, that passing one day through a village, +and seeing the people in the mirth of wine embracing and kissing one +another, and making a thousand protestations of friendship, he was so +charmed with the sight, that he blessed the wine, as the best thing in +the world. But that, at his return, observing the same place full of +blood, and having been informed, that the same men whom he had seen +before so merry, had, at last, changed their mirth into rage, and been +fighting with their swords, he recalled his benediction, and cursed wine +for ever, on account of the bad effects it produced." + +It is one of the chief commandments amongst the Siameze, to drink no +wine, nor any liquor that will procure drunkenness[4]. + +"[5]Drunkenness is detested in most parts of hot countries. It is looked +upon there as infamous. The greatest affront you can give a Spaniard, +is to call him drunkard. Ihave been assured, continues M.Bayle, +aservant, if his master should call him so, might bring his action at +law against him, and recover damages, though any other name he will +suffer very patiently, and without any right of complaint of being +injured in his reputation, as rogue, hang-dog, b----,&c." + +Empedocles, we may well conclude, loved wine, which he called, Water +putrified in wood. + +[6]Amongst the Locrians, Seleucus had such an aversion to wine, that he +forbad any one to drink it under pain of death, or even give it to the +sick. + +Apollonius Thyanus never drank any wine, no more than St. Fulgentius, +bishop, S.Stephen, king of Poland, and cardinal Emeri. + +"[7]The Severians, disciples of Severus, in the time of pope Sotherus, +condemned absolutely wine, as a creature of the devil." + +[8]The emperor Frederick the Third, seeing his wife barren, consulted +the physicians upon the case; who told him, that if the empress would +drink wine she might be fruitful. But he told them, like a simpleton as +he was, That he had rather his wife should be barren and sober, than be +fruitful and drink wine. And the empress, being informed of the wise +answer of the imperial ninny-hammer, her husband, said full as wisely, +That if she was to be put to her choice, to drink wine or die, she +should make no manner of hesitation, but prefer death. + + De nimia sapientia libera nos domine. + + + [[Footnote a: Catullus XXVII.5-6.]] + + [Footnote 1: Rem. sur Rabel. t. iv. ch. 93.] + + [Footnote 2: Page 777.] + + [Footnote 3: Du Mont. Voyag. t. iii. let. 5.] + + [Footnote 4: Chaumont Voyag. de Siam.] + + [Footnote 5: Bayle Dict. t. ii. p. 1266.] + + [Footnote 6: lian, lib. ii. ch. 33.] + + [Footnote 7: Du Mont. Voyag. t. iii. lit. 5.] + + [Footnote 8: Rec. choise d'Hist.] + + + + +CHAP. XXVII. + +RIGOROUS LAWS AGAINST WINE AND DRUNKENNESS. + + +It is easy to imagine, that princes who did not love wine themselves, +would make very rigorous laws against drunkenness, and fall into that +fault which Horace speaksof. + + Dum vitant stulti vitia in contraria currunt.[a] + +But this maxim, _Nullum violentum durabile_, has been verified a great +many times, upon this subject of drunkenness, for all the laws made +against it have not long subsisted. + +Pentheus[1], king of Thebes, endeavoured to extirpate entirely the +custom of getting drunk; but he did not find his account in it, for he +was very ill-treated by his subjects for his pains. + +Lycurgus[2], king of Thrace, commanded all the vines of the country to +be cut up; for which he was justly punished by Bacchus. He also made +laws against drunkenness, which one may reckon amongst the bad ones that +he instituted.As, + + I. _The using women in common._ + + II. _The nudity of young women in certain solemn festivals._ + +"Pittacus[3], one of the wise men of Greece, commanded, that he who +committed a fault when he was drunk, should suffer a double punishment. +And amongst the laws of Solon, there was one, which condemned to death +the chief magistrate if he got drunk. Amongst the Indians, who only just +touch wine in the ceremonies of their sacrifices, the law commands, that +the woman who killed one of their kings, should get drunk, and marry his +successor." + +[4]The Athenians had also very severe laws against those that should get +drunk; but one may say, these laws resembled those of Draco, which were +written rather with blood than ink. + +We come now to the Turks. Sir Paul Ricaut[5] tells us several +particulars on this head. Amurath, says he, resolved, in the year 1634, +to forbid entirely the use of wine. He put out a severe edict, which +commanded all the houses where they sold wine to be razed, the barrels +wherever they should be found to be staved, and the wine to be let out +into the streets. And that he might truly be satisfied his orders were +obeyed, he frequently disguised himself, and walked in that manner about +the city; and when he found any one carrying wine, he sent him to +prison, and had him bastinadoed almost to death. One day he met in the +streets a poor deaf man, who not hearing the noise usually made at the +approach of the sultan, did not soon enough avoid a prince whose +presence was so fatal. This negligence cost him his life. He was +strangled by order of the grand seignior, who commanded his body to be +cast into the street. But this great severity did not last long, and all +things returned to their former condition. + +However, matters took again another turn under the reign of Mahomet the +IVth. who, in 1670, resolved to forbid all the soldiery the use of wine. +The terrible seditions that liquor had formerly raised were remembered, +and especially that which happened under Mahomet the Third, who saw his +seraglio forced by a great multitude of soldiers full of wine, and whose +fury he could not free himself from, but by sacrificing his principal +favourites. An edict was published, to prohibit entirely the use of +wine, and to command all those who had any in their houses, to send it +out of town. The same extended all over the empire. The sultan condemned +to death those who should violate this decree, in which he spoke of wine +as of a liquor infernal, invented by the devil to destroy the souls of +men, to disturb their reason, and put states into combustion. This was +rigorously put in execution, and to that extremity, that it cost the +ambassador of England, and the christian merchants of Constantinople, +great solicitations, and large sums of money, to get leave to make only +as much wine as would suffice for their own families. At Smyrna, the +officers of the grand seignior had not the same indulgence for the +christians, who were one whole year without wine; and it was with great +difficulty they got leave to import it from the isles of the +Archipelago, and other places not comprised in that prohibition; for +this prohibition reached only those places where there were mosques. +Besides all this, they made every Friday sermons stuffed full of +declamations against those who should drink it. In short, this edict was +so severe, that wine seemed to be banished for ever the states of the +grand seignior. But in about a year's time its severity was somewhat +remitted. The ambassadors, and other christians, had leave to make wine +within themselves; and about a year after that, the indulgence for wine +was general, the taverns were opened, and at this day that liquor is as +common as it was before. + + + [[Footnote a: Horace, _Satire_ I.ii.24.]] + + [Footnote 1: Sphinx. Theol. p. 669.] + + [Footnote 2: Hist. 7 Sap.] + + [Footnote 3: Chevreana, t. i. p. 217.] + + [Footnote 4: Hist. 7 Sap.] + + [Footnote 5: See his Turkish Hist.] + + + + +CHAP. XXVIII. + +RULES TO BE OBSERVED IN GETTING DRUNK. I.NOT TOO OFTEN. II. IN GOOD +COMPANY. + + +To avoid the disorders that drunkenness might cause, here are some rules +that ought to be observed in this important affair of getting drunk; +for, according to Pliny, the art of getting drunk has its laws. + + Hc ars suis legibus constat.[a] + +I. The first, and principal of these, is not to get drunk too often. +This is what Seneca[1] recommends very much. "You must not," says he, +"do it often, for fear it grow into a habit; it is but only sometimes +you should make your spirits gay in banishing gloomy sobriety." + +And if any person objects, That if one gets drunk sometimes, one shall +do it often. Ideny the consequence, and say in the words of the +philosopher, an axiom held by both universities, that + + Ab actu ad habitum non valet consequentia. + +II. Second rule. One must not get drunk but in good company. That is to +say, with good friends, people of wit, honour, and good humour, and +where there is good wine. For example, aman in former times would have +done very ill to get drunk with Heliogabalus, whose historian[2] +reports, that after having made his friends drunk, he used to shut them +up in an apartment, and at night let loose upon them lions, leopards, +and tigers, which always tore to pieces some of them. On the other hand, +the best wine in the world will taste very bad in bad company. It is +therefore that Martial reproaches one, that he spoiled his good wine +with his silly babbling. + + ------------ Verbis mucida vina facis.[2a] + + + [[Footnote a: Pliny, _Natural History_ XIV.50 + (or XIV.xxviii.146).]] + + [Footnote 1: De Tranquillitate.] + + [Footnote 2: lius Lamprid. in Vit. Heliogab.] + + [[Footnote 2a: Martial VIII.vi.4.]] + + + + +CHAP. XXIX. + +THIRD RULE, WITH GOOD WINE. + + +When one has a mind to get drunk, one should make choice of good wine, +and not drink bad, which is prejudicial to health. For example, green +wine is very bad; this Guilleaume Cretin[1], agreat punster, has +expressed in these verses, which, Iown, Iam not able to put into +English:-- + + "Par ce vin verds Atropos a trop os + Des corps humains ruez envers en vers + Dont un quidam apre aux pots a propos + A fort blm les tours pervers en vers." + +Good wine, on the contrary, has very good effects. Erasmus[2] preserved +himself from the plague, by drinking a glass of Burgundy at a proper +season. + +You see now the efficacy of good wine, which, to be in its perfection, +the adepts in the free-schools of Liber Pater say, must have these four +properties, and please these four senses:-- the taste by its savour, the +smell by its flavour, the sight by its clean and bright colour, and the +ear by the fame of the country where it grows. Old wine was looked upon +to be the best by the ancients. + + A beauty, when advanc'd in age, + No more her lovers can engage; + But wine, the rare advantage, knows, + It pleases more, more old it grows. + +And were they never so old themselves, they would still, if possible, +have the wine older than they were. _Nec cuiquam adeo longa erat vita, +ut non ante se genita potaret_[3]. Which these words of Seneca[4] also +confirm, "Why at your house do you drink wine older than yourself? _Cur +apud te vinum apud te vetustius bibitur._" + +Martial says, "Do you ask me of what consulate this wine is? It was +before there were any consuls in the world. + + "De sinuessanis venerunt massica prlis: + Condita quo quris consule? nullus erat."[4a] + +At present the fame of the best wine in Europe is reckoned to be, that +of Monte Fiascone, two days journey from Rome. Here it was a German +abbot killed himself by drinking too much of this delicious creature. +The story is this, and it is related in Lassell's Travels:-- + +A certain German abbot, travelling to Rome, ordered his servant to ride +before him, and when he found the best wine, to chalk upon the door of +the inn (inorder to save time) the word _EST_. Coming to Monte +Fiascone, he found it so excellent, that he put down, _Est, Est, Est_, +which the abbot finding true, drank so plentifully of it, that he went +no farther on his journey, but lies buried, they say, in the cathedral +church, with this epitaph, written by his servant the purveyor. + + Est, Est, Est, + et + Propter nimium Est, + Herus meus Dominus Abbas + mortuus Est. + +The wine called Lachrym Christi, or the Tears of Christ, is a most +delicious wine.At least a master of arts of the university of Cologn +thought so, who going also to Rome, drank at the same place pretty +heartily of it, and out of the abundance of his heart cried out, + + Utinam Christus lachrymatus fuisset in nostra patria. + + I wish Christ had shed tears in our country. + +M. Hofman believes, that Rhenish wine is the best of all wines for one's +health. + +There grows also most excellent wines in France, such as Champagne. + +Wenceslaus[5], king of Bohemia and the Romans, being come into France on +account of some negociations with Charles the Sixth, arrived at Rheins +in the month of March, 1397. When he was in that city he found the wine +so good, that he got drunk more than once; and being one day in that +condition, that he could not enter into any serious discourses, he +rather chose to grant what was asked of him than leave off drinking. + +The wines of Burgundy must not be forgotten, which some prefer to +Champagne. "Baudius called vin de beaulne, vinum deorum, the wine of the +gods[6]." + +The wines of Ai are also very excellent. S.Evremont[7] says, that Leo +the Tenth, Charles the Fifth, Francis the First, and Hen. VIII. king of +England, did not think it below their dignity, amongst the most +important affairs of state, to take care to have the wines of Ai. +Henry IV. caused himself to be styled lord of Ai and Gonesse. + +But I shall desire my readers here to observe two things, First, That +artificial wines, and a many other liquors, containing a great deal of +gross, viscous matter, excite a drunkenness more long and dangerous than +that which is produced by ordinary wines. Another thing is, Never to get +drunk with brandy, spirits, and strong waters. Patin[8] says very +pleasantly, that these are sugared poisons which surely kill: they give +life to those who sell them, and death to those who use them. + + + [Footnote 1: Rem. sur. Rabel. t. iii. p. 39.] + + [Footnote 2: Journ. des Sav. June, 1706.] + + [Footnote 3: Plin.] [[_Natural History_ XIX.20 (or XIX.xix.53).]] + + [Footnote 4: De Vit. beat. c. 17.] + + [[Footnote 4a: Martial XIII.111.]] + + [Footnote 5: Journ. de Sav. June, 1706.] + + [Footnote 6: Patimana, p. 34.] + + [Footnote 7: Lett. S. Evrem.] + + [Footnote 8: Vign. Marvill, t. ii. p. 7.] + + + + +CHAP. XXX. + +FOURTH RULE, AT CONVENIENT TIMES. + + +Though one must not get drunk every day, one may, notwithstanding, +on certain occasions. One must sometimes unbend the mind. + + Neque semper arcum tendit Apollo.[a] + +And when a man puts on the air of a philosopher, it is then he turns +fool in affecting to be wise. + +There is a time for all things, and so there is in getting drunk, that +is, getting drunk with decency and decorum; and there are some times +which are not convenient to do so. As for example, (for I love to +illustrate what I advance,) it does not suit with decorum for a judge to +be drunk on the bench; nor a crier in the court exercising his office, +[hiccup, ki---- book;] aparson in the pulpit; an experimental +philosopher in shewing of his gimcracks; nor a freemason on the top of a +church-steeple. + +But it suits very well with strict decorum, to get drunk at a public +rejoicing after a signal victory. + + When the proud Gaul sustain'd an overthrow + By the immortal MARLBOROUGH, + Ever invincible! then you and I, + My Thirsis, shar'd the common joy. + Blenheim and Ramillies were then our song, + The day tho' short, the night was long, + Till both with mighty claret glow'd, + And tipsy, to our beds were shew'd. + +We may also very decently get drunk with a friend we have not seen a +long while. + + Here 'tis----O welcome, flask divine, + How bright does thy vermillion shine! + Thou charming native of Dijon[1], + At thy approach my cares are flown, + Sad melancholy is no more, + Which rack'd and plagu'd my soul before. + Whether thy influence incites, + (Sweet influence) to soft delights; + Or else dost other measures keep, + And gently urge to peaceful sleep. + O may'st thou still such streams bestow, + Still with such ruddy torrents flow. + Damon, this bottle is your due, + And more I have in store for you + Under the sun the faithfullest friend; + I've kept them for no other end. + Drink then a bumper, 'tis a folly, + Dear Damon, to be melancholy. + +However rigorous the Roman laws were against drunkenness, they permitted +it nevertheless on their festivals; witness what a young man said to his +father in presence of the people. "[2]No father," says he, "Ihave no +reason to be ashamed for having taken a little more wine than ordinary +at a feast with my companions." _Non est res qua embescam, Pater, si die +festo inter quales largiore vino fui usus._ + +The Persian soldiers, who otherwise lived very soberly, were permitted +to get drunk once a year[3]. + +In Georgia, he who did not get quite drunk at their principal holidays, +as at Easter and Christmas, was not looked upon to be a christian, and +ought to be excommunicated. [4]So that, according to this, getting drunk +at certain convenient times amongst these christians, was so far from +being unlawful, that a man was not looked upon to be orthodox, without +he did so. Getting drunk is therefore very orthodox. + + + [[Footnote a: Horace, _Odes_ II.x.19-20.]] + + [Footnote 1: Dijon, chief city in Burgundy.] + + [Footnote 2: Tit. Liv. lib. iv. ch. 14.] + + [Footnote 3: Alex. ab Alex, lib, ii. ch. 11.] + + [Footnote 4: Voyag. de Chard. t. ii. 129.] + + + + +CHAP. XXXI. + +FIFTH RULE, TO FORCE NO ONE TO DRINK. + + +It is very ridiculous and unreasonable to force any one to drink, +because the taking away liberty spoils company, the benefit of which +cannot subsist without freedom. Besides, every man's capacity of +drinking is not the same; one shall be able to drink a gallon, and +another a pint; the latter, therefore, by drinking a pint, has drank as +much as the former when he has taken off his gallon, because they both +have drank as they can, and ------ Ferdinando ------ No man can do more +than he can do. Let every man, therefore, have the liberty to drink as +he pleases, without being tied up to the mad laws of drinking. Iam of +the same opinion in this matter with brother Horace:-- + + ------------ Prout cuiq; libide est + Siccat inequales calices conviva solutus + Legibus insanis, sen quis capit acria fortis + Pocula, seu modicis humescit ltius----[a] + +We learn from history, that there was an ancient law amongst the +Persians, that forbad anyone to force another to drink. The +Lacedemonians also had that laudable custom. + +Charlemagne also made a law, that prohibited forcing any one to drink. + +Mr. Bayle reports a very pleasant revenge that M.Peyren gave to Raphael +Thorius, avery learned person, who would force him to drink, which take +as follows. "[1]M.Peyren dining at London with several persons of +learning, could not be discharged from drinking a health that Dr. +Thorius toasted. The glass was of a prodigious size, which M.Peyren, +for that reason, along while refused, and alleged a thousand reasons, +but all in vain; he must empty the glass. Before he did it he made this +agreement with his antagonist, that he should drink a health afterwards +that he should toast to him; which being consented to, he took off the +bumper, and filled the glass full of water, and drank it off to the +doctor, who thereupon was thunderstruck, but seeing he could not get +off, sighed deeply, and lifted the glass a thousand times to his lips, +and as often drew it back again: he called to his assistance all the +quaint sayings of the Greek and Latin poets, and was almost the whole +day drinking that cursed bumper." + +This is not much unlike what M. Chevreau reports of Marigni, who, +"[2]after having dined at one of the best eating-houses in Frankfort, +with six or seven persons of quality, was called to the sideboard, where +one of them began the emperor's health. This he must drink, and as he +foresaw very well, that this extravagance would be attended with others, +he ordered three or four great pieces of bread to be brought to him, and +having eaten half of one to the health of the king of France, he gave +the other half to the other, who took it, indeed, but would not so much +as put it to his mouth. The company surprized at so unexpected a +novelty, let him alone without any contradiction." + +Nevertheless, one should be very diligent in observing this rule, which +is, That when we find ourselves in the company of people that drink, and +would not run those lengths they are going to do, to retire; and this +was a standing law amongst the Greeks in their festivals, and ought to +be as unalterable as the laws of the Medes and Persians, viz. + + DRINK, OR GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS. + + + [[Footnote a: Horace, _Satires_ II.6.67-70.]] + + [Footnote 1: Diction, p. 2875. Art. Thor.] + + [Footnote 2: Chevrana, t. ii. p. 188.] + + + + +CHAP. XXXII. + +SIXTH RULE, NOT TO PUSH DRUNKENNESS TOO FAR. + + +It is certain, that to do well, we ought continually to have an eye to +this maxim of Horace, viz. _Est modus in rebus_. And the _Ne quid nimis_ +of Terence; but especially, in this grand and most important affair of +drunkenness. Seneca very well distinguishes two sorts of drunkenness, +one which entirely _buries_ our reason; and the other, which only +_diverts_ melancholy and chagrin. The last we believe to be very lawful; +but we would have it go farther, even so far, as not only _to divert_, +but to _drive away_ our cares entirely, or else not to get drunk at all. +That which is between these, if any such there can be, does one an +injury, according to the poet:-- + + Aut nulla ebrietas, aut tanta sit ut tibi curas + Eripiat, si qu est inter utramque nocet.[a] + +After this manner would we have people use the juice of the grape; that +is, to go so far as to make our hearts merry, gay, and sprightly, and so +as to forget our cares. + +It would be here useless to shew, by a great many examples, the +disorders that drunkenness has caused, when pushed too far, because it +was never the intention of this work, but to divert (aswine was +designed todo) and make merry, Ishall therefore conclude the whole +with an Ode to Bacchus, as follows:-- + + + [[Footnote a: Ovid, _Remedium Amoris_ 809-810.]] + + + + +AN ODE TO BACCHUS. + + + I. + + Let's sing the glories of the god of wine, + May his immortal praise + Be the eternal object of our song, + And sweetest symphonies; may ev'ry tongue + And throat sonorous, vocal music raise, + And ev'ry grateful instrument combine + To celebrate, great god, thy power divine. + Let other poets to the world relate, + Of Troy, the hard, unhappy fate; + And in immortal song rehearse, + Purpled with streams of blood the Phrygian plain; + The glorious hist'ry of Achilles slain, + And th' odious memory of Pelop's sons revive in verse. + + II. + + God of the grape, thou potent boy, + Thou only object of our cordial vows, + To thee alone I consecrate my heart, + Ready to follow thee in ev'ry part: + Thy influence sweet mirth bestows, + For thee alone I'd live and die in scenes of joy. + Thy bounty all our wishes still prevents; + Thy wond'rous sweetness calms to soft repose + Our wild regrets and restless woes, + And richly ev'ry craving mind contents. + Without thee Venus has no charms; + You constancy to am'rous souls impart, + And hopes bestow to each despairing heart, + + III. + + But, what involuntary transports roll, + And seize, at once, my agitated soul! + Into what sacred vale! what silent wood! + (I speak not by the vulgar understood,) + Am I, O god! O wond'rous deity! + Ravish'd, brimful of thy divinity and thee! + To my (once infidel) believing eyes + Bacchus unveils entire his sacred mysteries. + Movements confus'd of joy and fear + Hurry me I know not where. + With boldness all divine the god inspires; + With what a pleasing fury am I fill'd! + Such raging fires + Never the Menades in Thracian caves beheld. + + IV. + + Descend, O mother-queen of love, + Leave a while the realms above; + With your gay presence grace the feast + Of that great god, who bears a boundless sway, + Who conquer'd climates where first rose the day. + Descend, O mother-queen of love, + At rich repasts an ever welcome guest; + But O ----, too long you stay, + Already young Amyntor, brisk and gay, + His lovely Doris o'er the plain pursues: + The sparkling juice at Sylvan nymphs command + Richly distils from their ambrosial hand, + And old Silenus copiously bedews. + + V. + + Hence, ye profane, + I hate ye all, fly, quit the field, + My ready soul gives way + To those gay movements, this important day + Inspires, so to the conq'ror willing captives yield. + Come, faithful followers of Bacchus' train, + (Bacchus, most lovely of the gods) + Enter these bless'd abodes. + On high his verdant banners rear, + And quick the festival prepare. + Reach me my lute, a proper air + The chords shall sound; the trembling chords obey, + And join to celebrate this glorious day. + + VI. + + But 'midst the transports of a pleasing rage + Let's banish ever hence, + By a blind vapour rais'd, and vain pretence, + Those loud seditious clamours that engage + Only inhuman, brutish souls, + By barb'rous Scythians only understood, + Who cruelly their flowing bowls + At banquets intermix with streams of blood. + Dreadful, preposterous, merriment! + Our hands all gayly innocent, + Ought ne'er in such confusion bear a part, + Polluted with a savage Centaur's mortal dart. + + VII. + + From this sweet innocent repast, + (Too exquisite, alas! to last) + Let's ever banish the rude din of arms, + Frightful Bellona, and her dread alarms. + The dire confusions of pernicious war, + The satyrs, fauns, and Bacchus, all abhor. + Curs'd be those sanguinary mortals, who + Of reeking blood with crimson tides + The sacred mysteries imbrue + Of our great god who over peace presides. + + VIII. + + But if I must wage war, + If so necessity commands, + Follow, my friends, advance your hands, + Let us commence the pleasing jar. + With wreaths of ivy be our temples bound, + Hark! to arms, to arms, they sound, + Th' alarm to battle calls, + Lend me your formidable Thyrse, ye Bacchanals. + Double your strokes. Bold----bolder yet, + 'Tis done-------- How many rivals conquer'd lie? + How many hardy combatants submit? + O son of Jupiter, thy deity, + And sovereign power, we own, and aid divine; + Nothing but heaps of jolly topers slain + I see extended on the plain, + Floating in ruddy streams of reeking wine. + + IX. + + Io victoria to our king, + To Bacchus songs of triumph let us sing; + His great immortal name + Let us aloud to distant worlds proclaim. + Io victoria to our king, + To Bacchus grateful strains belong; + O! may his glories live in endless song, + The vanquish'd welt'ring on the sand, + One health from us their conqu'ror demand. + Fill me a bumper. Trumpet sound, + Second my voice, loud, louder yet, + Sound our exploits, and their defeat, + Who quiet, undisturb'd, possess the ground. + Io victoria to our king, + To Bacchus, songs of triumph let us sing. + +To this great work now finished (God be thanked) Isubscribe as usual in +the like cases of books, for I love decorum, and have an utter aversion +to particularity, prolixity, and circumlocution. Isay, to make short, +Isubscribe as usual, &c. in the like cases, &c. for I love, &c. and +have an aversion, &c. the universally famous and most noted name which +is subscribed to all books by what name or titles dignified or +distinguished: or of what sort, species, size, dimension, or magnitude +soever, pamphletary and voluminous; whether they be first or foremost, +plays, either comical, tragical, comi-tragical, tragi-comical, or +pastoral; godly, or profane songs or ballads; sermons high or low, +popish or protestant, dissenting, independent, enthusiastical, +Brownistical, heterodox, or orthodox; Philadelphian, Muggletonian, +Sacheverelian, or Bangorian, quaking, rhapsodical, prophetical, or +nonsensical; legends golden or plain; breviaries, graduals, missals, +pontificals, ceremonials, antiphonaries, statutes, spelling-books. +Or, secondly and lastly, tracts, treatises, essays; pandects, codes, +institutes; primers, rosaries, romances; travels, synods, history books; +digests, decretals, lives; commentaries anagogical, allegorical, or +tropological; journals, expositions, vocabularies, pilgrimages, manuals, +indexes common or expurgatorial; almanacks, bulls, constitutions, or +lottery books, viz. i. e. namely, to wit, or, that is to say, + +FINIS. + +Which being interpreted is, + +_THE END_. + + + + +POSTSCRIPT. + + +Having received the following letter from a merry friend, wherein are +some (not unpleasant) remarks on the foregoing treatise, Ithought fit +to send it to the press, which the reader, as he is at liberty either to +read, or let alone, so it is the same thing to me, whether he does read +it, or let it alone. + +To the renowned Boniface Oinophilus de Monte Fiascone, A.B.C. author +of the most inimitable (and non-pareil) treatise, Ebrietatis Encomium, +to be left with that mirror of privative perspicuity, Signor Edemondo +Curluccio, at the Bible and Dial, over against Catherine-Street, in the +Strand. + +Right trusty, and well-beloved, I greet you well, + +Having perused (at the bookseller's, who shewed me the sheets) your +Ebrietatis Encomium all through, even unto Finis, or the End, Iown I +was not a little diverted thereat. But as I never flatter any body, so +my friends may least of all expect I should begin with them. Imust, +therefore, be frank and free with you, most renowned and +never-to-be-forgotten Boniface, _post nullos memorande sodales_, and +tell you, that you have omitted several things very material, and highly +conducible to the elucidation, or illustration, (choose you whether) of +your agreeable subject. But perhaps they either did not occur to your +memory; or, which is the same thing, (_quoad lectorem_) you were +entirely ignorant of them, but which take as follow. + +First and foremost, amongst your philosophers, you have taken no notice +of the stupendous Des Cartes, with his wonderful system of whirlpools +(vortices) and particles, cubic, conic, striate, oblong, globular, +hooked, crooked, spiral and angular: for who the devil but a mere tipsy, +giddy brains, could have dished up such a confounded hotch-potch and +gallimatias of whimsical rotations, or fancied that the whole earth +whirled round like a town-top, had not _Vinorum materia subtilis_, +the circling effluvia of _Liber Pater_, abundantly invaded his capital +regions. + + So have I seen in days of yore a dame, + At Winchester, who seventy winters knew, + Not more nor less, my mistress then yclept, + Hight Margaret, deceas'd long since I trow, + Whose fate I thus bemoan'd in song sublime. + She's gone, alas! the beauteous nymph is dead, + Dead to my hopes, and all my eager wishes: + Such is the state of poor unhappy man, + All things soon pass away, nought permanent, + That rolls beneath the vortex of the moon. + So when we've screw'd up to the highest Peg[1] + Our ample lines of future happiness, + Some disappointments dire, or chance disastrous, + Snaps the extended chords. Oh! then farewell, + No more shall visual ray of form acute + Affect her wondrous mien. Farewell those lips + Of sapphire tincture, gums of crocus die + Freed from th'ungrateful load of cumbrous teeth. + Mantle farewell, of grograin brown compos'd, + Studded with silver clasp in number plural: + With jacket short, so famous, tory red, + Not hemm'd, but bound about with good galloon + Of deepest mazarine (delightful hue!) + Farewell (I sighing speak) those non-such shoes + Of obfusc colour (heel of form cylindrous) + Worn only upon days non-ferial. + In love's true knot of verdant ferrit tied. + + But Oh! farewell, a long and last farewell, + To large Ampull with vital water fraught, + Wherein the effluvia soft and delicate + Of dulcet aniseseed (not coriander) + In its capacious rim of form anguillar + Whirl in sweet vortex. Hence it was observ'd, + The subtile matter, when in throat retir'd, + Kept still its roulant quality, and oft + Would mount in circling spires to pericranium + Of she-philosopher, when in elbow chair, + Deep and profound, would the grave matron reve, + And learnedly pronounce (like great RENATUS[2]) + With equal verity the world turns round. + +Secondly and foremost, you should have added at the end of the +philosophers chapter, the song of the Tippling Philosophers, which I +send you here enclosed. + +The bookseller to whom I mentioned this, fancied truly, that you might +think it too mean and trifling to insert. But without troubling myself +to know, whether this be your sentiment, or whether he spoke this of his +own head, Ishall trouble myself to tell you, as this song is taken from +an excellent French one, which you may find in a very famous book[3], +and which (tofollow your method) you may know by the note at the +bottom. The song (whether you have ever seen it, or not, Ineither know, +nor do I care) is as follows, and will go with the same tune as the +English (ifI am not mistaken). + + + [Footnote 1: You must remember my Mrs.'s name was Margaret.] + + [Footnote 2: Des Cartes's christian name.] + + [Footnote 3: Fureteriana, p. 205.] + + + + +CHANSON A BOIRE. + + + I. + + Je cherche en vin la vrit, + Si le vin n'aide a ma foiblesse, + Toute la docte antiquit + Dans le vin puisa la sagesse. + Oui c'est par le bon vin que le bon sens eclate + J'en atteste Hypocrate, + Qui dit qu'il fait a chaque mois + Du moins s'enivrer une fois. + + II. + + Socrate cet homme discret + Que toute la terre revere, + Alloit manger au cabaret + Quand sa femme etoit en colere. + Pouvons-nous mieux faire que d'imiter Socrate + Et de suivre Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + III. + + Platon est nomm le divin + Parce qu'il etoit magnifique, + Et qu'il regala de son vin + La cabale philosophique. + Sa table ft toujours splendide et delicate, + Il suivit Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + IV. + + Aristotle bvoit autant, + Et nous avons lieu de le croire + De ce qu'Alexandre le grand, + Son disciple, aimoit tant a boire, + Qu'il degela cent fois sur les bords de l'Euphrate + En suivant Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + V. + + L'on veut que Diogene aimoit l'eau, + Mais il n'eut point cette folie, + Il se logea dans un tonneau + Pour sentir le gout de la lie. + Et pour mieux boire au pot, il jetta la sa jatte + Et tint pour Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + VI. + + Democrite prs de sa fin, + Par une invention jolie, + En flairant seulement le vin, + De trois jours prolonga sa vie. + Le vin retarde plus la mort, qu'il ne la hte, + Temoin notre Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + VII. + + Heraclite toujours etoit + En pleurs a c que dit l'histoire, + Mais ce que le vin lui sortoit + Par les yeux force de boire. + Par ce remede seul il guerissoit sa rate + Comme ordonne Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + VIII. + + Epicure sans contredit, + De bons bveurs est le vrai pere, + Et sa morale nous induit + Au plaisir, a la bonne chere. + En vain l'homme ici bas d'un autre bien se flatte; + Suivons donc Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + IX. + + Esope quelque fois la nuit, + De complot avec la servante, + Chalumoit sans faire de bruit + Les tonneaux de son maitre Xante. + Il en eut mis dix pots sous sa grosse omoplate, + Il suivit Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + X. + + Galen, ce fameux docteur + En traittant du jus de la vigne, + Dit qu'il faut defendre le coeur + Contre la qualit maligne + Qui trouble nos humeurs, les altere et les gte + Et rapporte Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + + + +THE TIPLING PHILOSOPHERS. + + + I. + + Diogenes, surly and proud, + Who snarl'd at the Macedon youth, + Delighted in wine that was good, + Because in good wine there is truth; + But growing as poor as a Job, + Unable to purchase a flask, + He chose for his mansion a tub, + And liv'd by the scent of the cask, &c. + + II. + + Heraclitus ne'er would deny, + To tipple and cherish his heart, + And when he was maudlin he'd cry, + Because he had empty'd his quart: + Tho' some are so foolish to think + He wept at men's folly and vice, + 'Twas only his fashion to drink + Till the liquor flow'd out of his eyes. + + III. + + Democritus always was glad + Of a bumper to cheer up his soul, + And would laugh like a man that was mad, + When over a good flowing bowl. + As long as his cellar was stor'd, + The liquor he'd merrily quaff, + And when he was drunk as a lord + At those that were sober he'd laugh. + + IV. + + Copernicus too like the rest, + Believ'd there was wisdom in wine, + And thought that a cup of the best + Made reason the better to shine. + With wine he'd replenish his veins, + And make his philosophy reel, + Then fancy'd the world, like his brains, + Turn'd round like a chariot wheel. + + V. + + Aristotle, that master of arts, + Had been but a dunce without wine, + And what we ascribe to his parts, + Is due to the juice of the vine. + His belly most writers agree, + Was as big as a watering-trough, + He therefore leap'd into the sea, + Because he'd have liquor enough. + + VI. + + Old Plato, that learned divine, + He fondly to wisdom was prone, + But had it not been for good wine, + His merits had never been known; + By wine we are generous made, + It furnishes fancy with wings, + Without it we ne'er shou'd have had + Philosophers, poets, or kings. + +Thirdly and lastly, I wish in Chap. XXIII. in your answer to the +objection, "That one cannot trust a man that gets drunk," you had been +pleased to have taken notice of the taciturnity and continency of the +right worshipful the free masons in this respect. For though otherwise +they are _free_ enough of speech, yet I do assure you, as to secrets, +though some of them love the creature very heartily, and carouse +abundantly, yet has it never been known, though never so fuddled, (for +free masons will get fuddled,) that they ever discovered any of their +secrets. This is irresistible, irrefragable, irrefutable, or if you +will, to speak (_norunt dialectici_) _in stylo infinito_, +non-resistible, non-refragable, and non-refutable, and, indeed, is my +_Argumentum palmare Scotisticum_. + +But, and Fourthly also, and Finally, you will give me leave to remark to +you, That in relation to St. Boniface's cup, which you take notice of in +Chap. XI. p.68, l. 13, Ido assure you, sir, the practice was some +years ago, to my certain knowledge, much in vogue, (and, as I am +credibly informed, is still wonderfully catholic,) and, by the bye, +take the following relation. + +In the beginning of the last wars, when I was very young, Ihad the +misfortune to be prisoner in Luxembourg, and not too civilly treated by +the governor, the morose Count Dautel. Close confinement, (though in the +postmaster's house,) with the unusual smell of the stoves, (for it was +in the cold month of March,) made me very ill, and worse, in all +probability, should have been, had I not obtained the liberty of the +town, which, after many fruitless solicitations, Idespaired, from the +ill-natured governor, nor should ever have had, were it not by the +pressing instance of Father Cripps, aGerman Franciscan friar, of the +convent of Luxembourg, whom they called there Heer[1] Cripps, being +confessor to the governor, and having been once sent on a message of +moment from him to the king of Spain, Philip the Fifth, now reigning. + +This Father was really a good man, and a man of honour; him I gained by +the good-nature of the postmaster, whose son was then in his noviceship, +in the noviciate of their Order at Ulflingen. Ineed not tell you, that +by noviceship is meant that year of probation, which those who have a +mind to enter into any religious order in the church of Rome, must pass +through, before they can be professed, or take their vows. This you, +who have been abroad, must know as well asI. + +This good father, with much ado, obtained what I desired from the +governor, who he said was, _homo mirabilis in negotiis suis_, which, by +the sequel of his discourse, Iunderstood signified, avery strange man +in his affairs. Gratitude obliged me to invite this reverend father to a +glass of Rhenish, the wine of the country, which, he frankly accepted of +in the afternoon, and, indeed, drank very plentifully, more Germanorum, +as you have described. But though he would drink largely as well as his +companion, yet I must own, that in none of the many merry bouts we had +together (for he visited me very often afterwards, as I did him, Inever +saw him so far advanced as to lose his reason) he never failed a large +glass brimful to St. Boniface, which he drank to the pious memory of the +good Father, _ad piam memoriam boni patris_, and sometimes only to the +good Father, _ad bonum patrem_. I found afterwards the same laudable +custom of St. Boniface's cup in the Low Countries, France and Italy, &c. +amongst the religious. + +And now, before I subscribe myself, + + Sir, + + Your most obedient, &c. + +give me leave to tell you, that the French religious, who do not speak +much Latin, drink healths in their own language. But I was surprised, +when I heard in a certain monastery every one of the fathers drink a +full glass to each other in these words, "abumper," as I thought. Iam +obliged to your reverence (reverend father, said I to the procurator, +who sat next me, and drank to me in the same words) in drinking in our +country language, you do me a great deal of honour. It may be your +country phrase, said the prior to me, very gravely, for what I know; +your countrymen make use of a great many of our words, but the thing +itself, let the word (or_vox significans_) be what it will, the thing +(or_res significata_) is very laudable, and every one will practise, +who has any respect for the sacred see, holy church, and the good of his +own soul. Did you never hear of the indulgences that the good father, +holy pope St. Boniface, has granted to such as drink his cup, and which +we have just now piously done? Iask your reverence's pardon, reverend +father, saidI, Ithought we had only been drinking a bumper to one +another. _Seulement au bon pere_! replied he a little warmly (for the +conversation was all in French, and which word I till then mistook for a +bumper.) Why, that is all, said he, _mais_ (continued he) _c'toit au +bon pere_ Saint Boniface. You see, sir, the _double entendre_[2], and +that drinking of bumpers, which some precisians have ignorantly called +profane, is a practice very orthodox and catholic. + +_Heigh Church militant, rare Church militant, dainty Church +militant,O_! + +_Dub. Dub. Dub. Dub a dub. Dub. Dub._ + +_Tan. Tan. Tan. Tan. tara rara ra._ + + _Adieu, mon tres-cher,_ + _Votre ami tres-affection_ + _&_ + _Valet bien humble_ + + May 1, 1723, + From my Garret in + Bandy-legged Walk. + + F. SANS-TERRE. + + _P.S._ I paid the waterman six-pence. + + +FINIS. + + + [Footnote 1: Heer, in High Dutch, is the same as Monsieur in + French, and is given to persons of the highest destinction.] + + [Footnote 2: The transition from _au bon pere_, which is pure + French, to a _bumper_, is very natural, and infinitely more so, + than that golden pippin should be derived from Cooper, which was + said to be effected, in process of time, after this manner, + Cooper, Hooper, Roper, Diaper, Napkin, Pipkin, King Pepin, Golden + Pippin.] + + + + +_Lately published by C. CHAPPLE, Pall Mall_. + + +Embellished with an interesting Frontispiece, designed by Craig, +and engraved by Rhodes, price 7s. extra boards, small 8vo. + +1. THE TEST OF VIRTUE, and other Poems. + By the late Miss P.Barrel. + +2. RELIGIONISM, or POPULAR PREACHERS, alias PULPITEERS, aSatire, price +4s. boards. + +3. POETICAL PANTHEON; or, Fabulus History of the Heathen Gods and +illustrious Heroes, with Notes, and embellished with twelve elegant +Engravings, rendered into easy Verse. By W.R. Johnson, A.M. price 6s. +extra boards. + +4. POEMS; chiefly Comic and Hudibrastic, containing Burlesque +Translations, Dramatic Pieces, and Miscellanies. By W.C. Oulton, Esq. +With a Portrait of the Author, Price 9s. boards. + +This volume includes some Dramas, Addresses, Songs, &c. which have been +performed, spoken, and sung at the different Theatres. + +5. LOVE OUTRIGHT!!! By a Lady. Small 4to. price 7s. extra boards. + +6. THE BEAUTIES OF THE ANTI-JACOBIN, or WEEKLY EXAMINER; containing the +whole of the excellent Poetry, and the permanent Parts of the Prose of +that highly esteemed Work. 1vol. demy 12mo. 5s. boards. + +7. LOVE'S LYRICS; or, CUPID'S CARNIVAL; original and translated. By +J.Scott Byerley, Esq. + + "Frustra laborat, qui omnibus placere studet." + +small 8vo. price 7s. extra boards. + + * * * * * + * * * * + * * * * * + +Errors and Inconsistencies (noted by transcriber) + +_Errors in French are noted separately, below._ + +Most non-standard spellings are carried over from the 1723 original. + +The title page of the 1723 edition included this paragraph, immediately +before the author's name: + + Confirmed by the example of heathens, Turks, infidels, + primitive Christians, saints, popes, bishops, doctors, + philosophers, poets, free masons, and other men of learning + in all ages + +Corrected text: + + Omnes unius estimemus assis. [uninus] + Montaigne[7] tells us [tell us; _1723 has "tells"_] + in his apology for Herodotus [hi apology: _1723 has "his"_] + PS. Cum coron ebrium [P. S.] + pars ego spe fui [sep] + Hic segetes, illic veniunt flicius uv. + [Hic segetis; misspelling "flicius" for "felicius" unchanged] + There grows also most excellent wines in France [text unchanged] + +Unchanged text: + + holydays [one word] + weild + frier ["friar" also occurs] + ... lets put ... [no apostrophe] + desert [modern spelling "dessert"] + desart [modern spelling "desert" (noun)] + THE TIPLING PHILOSOPHERS. [spelled "tippling" elsewhere] + [Advertising] Fabulus History + + [Some Latin passages use the abbreviation "q;" for "que".] + Quis tulerit Gracchos de seditione qurentes. + [error for "querentes"] + mchos [correct form is "moechos"; ae/oe variation is common] + + Spelling of names (representative list): + Final "e" omitted: Jerom, Augustin + Simple "e" for "ae" or "": Lacedemonia, Cecilius, Megera, Eschylus + French forms: Gascogn, Trimalchion + +Punctuation and Typography: + + [Contents] CHAP. II. That Wine ... [CHAP II.] + [Contents] out-of-the-Way Thoughts [out-of-the-Way-Thoughts] + Be merry to-day, depend not on to-morrow [1723 has hyphen] + _... ex superfluorum potuum indulgentia[2]_. [" at end] + "Sanctus Dominicus sit [' for "] + "Illa dies hc est [' for "] + but undoubtedly Bacchus is your liber pater + [invisible hyphen at line-break "un-/doubtedly"] + [Chapter XVI] [Footnote 21: Voyag. t. ii. p. 129.] [t. ii p. 129.] + _Hanno_[11], says he ... [not italicized] + say this, or that, of us----. [. missing] + +Unchanged quotation marks (unless otherwise noted, close quote is +missing at end): + + a perfect cure for heaviness and sorrow. + so far as an old drunkard[8]. + That experience proves ... people that "have infinitely more wit + [1723 has open quote before "That..." instead of "have..."] + Le don de l'immortalit. + Perfusis halante mero gaudere sepulchris. + Nor this other, [open quote missing] + habitet in sicco._ To which ... addition, It is very probable + [missing close quote after "in sicco"; open quote before "It is"] + to the age of fourscore. + spending his money to no purpose[15]. + [the footnote symbols shown as [15] and [17] were also misprinted] + Crateras magnas statuunt et vina coronant. + drive away care. ... pellite curas._" + [close quote should be after "care"] + namely, eloquence. + +French: + +_Unless otherwise noted, accents were printed as shown. This includes +pairs such as a: and ou:o. Some questioned readings were checked +against the 1714 French original._ + + Qu' importe si c'est un plaisir, [Qu' importe] + "Oui, Thirsis, c'est le vin qui nous fait rejeunir, [cest] + Le regret de choses passees, [possees] + Chaque coup m'te la memorie [memorie] + Nous la permet pour la sant!" [sante] + Qu'il faut a chaque mois. [Qui'l] + Venez yvresse temeraire, + Transports ignorez du vulgaire [temerarie ... vulgarie] + "Nous devons tous boire en repos [boir] + Son noms ses armes sont des pots [son noms] + "De ceux qui vivent dans l'histoire, [historie] + Ma foi je n'envierai le sort. [fois] + Nargues du Temple de Memoire [Memorie] + J'aime bien mieux vivre pendant ma vie [ma vin] + Mais que te sert il que ta gloire [glorie] + Quand tu seras mang des vers? [mang] + Elle-mme joit des objets qu'elle a feints. + [Elle-mme joit l'objets qu'elle a fenits: + _line corrected from 1714 original_] + "[10]Bveurs brisez le joug d'une raison trop fiere [Bveur's briser] + D'autres enseignent l'art d'augmenter sa lumiere [d'augmente] + Mais l'art de l'eteindre est plus beau." [l'art eteindre] + Qui dit qu'il faut a chaque mois [fait] + De ce qu'Alexandre le grand, [qu' Alexandre] + Le vin retarde plus la mort, qu'il ne la hte, [hte] + En pleurs a ce que dit l'histoire, [c] + Au plaisir, a la bnne chere. [bnne] + +Greek: + + +pheu tines hudr / pinousi manin sphrona mainomenoi.+ + + Quotation as printed: + +pheu tines udr / piuousi manin sphrona mainomenoi.+ + [The 1723 edition, or its reprint, has far more errors.] + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ebrietatis Encomium, by +Boniface Oinophilus and Albert-Henri de Sallengre + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK EBRIETATIS ENCOMIUM *** + +***** This file should be named 29188-8.txt or 29188-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/9/1/8/29188/ + +Produced by Louise Hope, Curtis Weyant and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by the Posner Memorial Collection +(http://posner.library.cmu.edu/Posner/)) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Ebrietatis Encomium + or, the Praise of Drunkenness + +Author: Boniface Oinophilus + Albert-Henri de Sallengre + +Translator: Robert Samber + +Release Date: June 21, 2009 [EBook #29188] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK EBRIETATIS ENCOMIUM *** + + + + +Produced by Louise Hope, Curtis Weyant and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by the Posner Memorial Collection +(http://posner.library.cmu.edu/Posner/)) + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class = "mynote"> +<p><a name = "start" id = "start">This text</a> uses UTF-8 (Unicode) +file encoding. If the apostrophes and quotation marks in this paragraph +appear as garbage, you may have an incompatible browser or unavailable +fonts. First, make sure that your browser’s “character set” or “file +encoding” is set to Unicode (UTF-8). You may also need to change the +default font.</p> + +<p>Typographical errors are shown in the text with <ins class = +"correction" title = "like this">mouse-hover popups</ins>; minor +notations are <ins class = "notation" title = "like this">similarly +marked</ins>. Some Latin passages use the abbreviation “q;” for “que”. +Unless otherwise noted, French accents were printed as shown. This +includes pairs such as <i>a</i> : <i>à</i> and +<i>ou</i> : <i>où</i>. Some questioned readings were checked +against the 1714 French original.</p> + +<p>In the original text, footnotes were identified with marks: * † For +this e-text they have been numbered from 1 within each chapter. +Footnotes added by the transcriber are identified with letters (1a, 1b). +The word “possibly” means that an attribution exists but the transcriber +has not personally seen the source text.</p> + +<p class = "center"> +<a href = "#contents">Contents</a><br> +<a href = "#endnote">Transcriber’s Notes</a></p> +</div> + +<p class = "illustration"> +<img src = "images/frontis.png" width = "428" height = "416" +alt = "VIVIMUS DUM BIBIMUS" title = "VIVIMUS DUM BIBIMUS"></p> + + +<div class = "titlepage"> + +<!-- pg 1 --> + +<h3><i>EBRIETATIS ENCOMIUM:</i></h3> + +<h5>OR, THE</h5> + +<h2 class = "extended">PRAISE</h2> + +<h5>OF</h5> + +<h1 class = "extended">DRUNKENNESS:</h1> + +<h5>WHEREIN IS AUTHENTICALLY,</h5> + +<h5>AND</h5> + +<h6>MOST EVIDENTLY PROVED,</h6> + +<h4>THE NECESSITY</h4> + +<h6>OF</h6> + +<h4>FREQUENTLY GETTING DRUNK;</h4> + +<h5>AND, THAT THE PRACTICE IS MOST ANCIENT,<br> +PRIMITIVE, AND CATHOLIC.</h5> + +<hr class = "small"> + +<h5>BY</h5> + +<h4>BONIFACE OINOPHILUS,</h4> + +<h6>DE MONTE FIASCONE, A. B. C.</h6> + +<hr class = "tiny"> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>Vinum lætificans cor hominis.</p> +<p>Narratur et prisci Catonis,</p> +<p>Sæpe mero caluisse virtus.—<span class = +"smallcaps">Hor.</span></p> +</div> + +<hr class = "tiny"> + +<h4><i>LONDON:</i></h4> + +<h5>PRINTED FOR C. CHAPPLE, PALL MALL.</h5> + +<hr class = "tiny"> + +<h4>1812.</h4> + +</div> + +<p> <br> </p> + +<!-- pg ii --> +<p class = "center"> +Harding & Wright, Printers, St. John’s Square, London.</p> + +<p> <br> </p> + +<!-- pg iii --> + +<h4>EBRIETATIS ENCOMIUM:</h4> + +<h5>OR, THE</h5> + +<h3>PRAISE OF DRUNKENNESS</h3> + +<p> <br> </p> + +<!-- pg iv --> + +<div class = "maintext"> + +<span class = "pagenum">v</span> + +<h3><b><a name = "preface" id = "preface"> +<span class = "smaller">THE</span></a><br> +PREFACE.</b></h3> + +<hr class = "tiny"> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><b>I</b>f</span> ever preface might serve +for an apology, certainly this ought to do so. The bare title of the +book is enough to have it universally cried down, and to give the world +an ill opinion of its author; for people will not be backward to say, +that he who writes the Praise of Drunkenness, must be a drunkard by +profession; and who, by discoursing on such a subject, did nothing but +what was in his own trade, and resolved not to move out of his own +sphere, not unlike Baldwin, a shoe-maker’s son, (and a shoe-maker), +in the days of +<span class = "pagenum">vi</span> +yore, who published a treatise on the shoes of the ancients, having a +firm resolution strictly to observe this precept, <i>Ne sutor ultra +crepidam</i>.</p> + +<p>To this I answer, I am very well contented, that the world should +believe me as much a drunkard, as Erasmus, who wrote The Praise of +Folly, was a fool, and weigh me in the same balance.</p> + +<p>But some will say, what good can a man propose to himself in being a +panegyrist for drunkenness? To solve this difficulty I shall make use of +a comparison.</p> + +<p>M. Pelisson, in his History of the French Academy, says, that Menage +did not compose that famous Requete des Dictionaires, in which he +ridicules all the academics, on account of any aversion he had to them, +but purely to +<span class = "pagenum">vii</span> +divert himself, and not to lose the witty turns that came into his head +upon that subject. In the same manner, I declare that I did not +undertake this work on account of any zeal I have for wine, you must +think, but only to divert myself, and not to lose a great many curious +remarks I have made upon this most catholic liquid.</p> + +<p>It may farther be objected, that this work is so stuffed with +quotations, that they hinder the book itself from being seen; like what +I heard say of a country fellow, who complained when he left London, +that he could not see it for the houses. As an excuse for all the +others, I shall make use of one quotation more, and this I shall +borrow from Mr. Bayle.<a class = "tag" name = "tagP_1" id = "tagP_1" +href = "#noteP_1">1</a> “There is no room to doubt,” says he, “but some +readers will judge, that there are a little too many quotations +<span class = "pagenum">viii</span> +in this work, which is no less a disorder, they will say, than what +happens in some cities, where the strangers are more numerous than the +citizens. But of what importance is it to travellers, that such disorder +appears in any country, provided they find in it honest folks. There is +no reason why reading may not be compared to travelling. We should +therefore be very little concerned, whether, according to the ancient +country frugality, we are entertained with what is of its proper growth; +or if, instead of the flesh of domestic animals, and the fruits of our +own vineyards and gardens, we are served with what comes from the +market. That which really is of consequence is, that the meat be +wholesome and well dressed, and the wine good, &c. <i>Unde habeat +quærat nemo, sufficit habere.</i>”</p> + +<p>As to the rest, I am very far from the sentiments of a certain +writer, who having found in +<span class = "pagenum">ix</span> +his book <i>one</i> fault only, consulted one of his friends, whether he +should put down Errata or Erratum. For my part, I subscribe with +all my heart to the Errata of Benserade, and in his words frankly own, +that</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>Pour moy, parmi des fautes innombrables,</p> +<p>Je n’en connois que deux considerables,</p> +<p>Et dont je fais ma declaration,</p> +<p>C’est l’entreprise et l’execution,</p> +<p>A mon avis fautes irreparables,</p> +<p class = "indent8">En ce volume.</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Though num’rous faults I see in this small book,</p> +<p>(And so may any one that will but look),</p> +<p>I know but <i>two</i> of much consideration,</p> +<p>Of which I here make public declaration,</p> +<p>The <i>undertaking</i> and the <i>execution</i>,</p> +<p>Faults too extravagant for absolution.</p> +</div> + + +<p class = "footnote"> +<a name = "noteP_1" id = "noteP_1" href = "#tagP_1">1.</a> +Pref. des Rep. aux Quest. d’un Pr. T. 1.</p> + + +<!-- <span class = "pagenum">x</span> --> + + +<span class = "pagenum">xi</span> +<h3><a name = "contents" id = "contents">CONTENTS.</a></h3> + +<hr class = "tiny"> + +<table class = "toc" summary = "table of contents"> +<tr> +<td></td> +<td class = "right">Page.</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap1">CHAP. I.</a> +That one must be Merry</p></td> +<td class = "number">1</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap2">CHAP<ins class = "correction" title = ". missing">. </ins>II.</a> +That Wine drives away Sorrow, and excites Mirth</p></td> +<td class = "number">16</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap3">CHAP. III.</a> +That it is good for one’s Health to get Drunk sometimes</p></td> +<td class = "number">29</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap4">CHAP. IV.</a> +That old People ought to get Drunk sometimes</p></td> +<td class = "number">35</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap5">CHAP. V.</a> +That Wine creates Wit</p></td> +<td class = "number">38</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap6">CHAP. VI.</a> +That Wine makes one Eloquent</p></td> +<td class = "number">46</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap7">CHAP. VII.</a> +That Wine acquires Friends, and reconciles Enemies</p></td> +<td class = "number">49</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap8">CHAP. VIII.</a> +That the Custom of getting Drunk is most ancient</p></td> +<td class = "number">53</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap9">CHAP. IX.</a> +That the Primitive Christians got Drunk</p></td> +<td class = "number">57</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap10">CHAP. X.</a> +Of Churchmen</p></td> +<td class = "number">61</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap11">CHAP. XI.</a> +Of Popes, Saints, and Bishops, that used to get Drunk</p></td> +<td class = "number">67</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap12">CHAP. XII.</a> +A Catalogue of some illustrious Topers</p></td> +<td class = "number">73</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap13">CHAP. XIII.</a> +Of Philosophers that used to get Drunk</p></td> +<td class = "number">78</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap14">CHAP. XIV.</a> +Of Poets that used to get Drunk</p></td> +<td class = "number">85</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap15">CHAP. XV.</a> +Of Free Masons, and other learned Men, that used to get Drunk</p></td> +<td class = "number">88</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td> +<span class = "pagenum">xii</span> +<p><a href = "#chap16">CHAP. XVI.</a> +Of Nations that used to get Drunk</p></td> +<td class = "number">104</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap17">CHAP. XVII.</a> +Of the Drunkenness of the Germans</p></td> +<td class = "number">112</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap18">CHAP. XVIII.</a> +Of Nations that get Drunk with certain Liquors</p></td> +<td class = "number">121</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap19">CHAP. XIX.</a> +Other Considerations in favour of Drunkenness</p></td> +<td class = "number">126</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap20">CHAP. XX.</a> +An Answer to the Objection, That Drunkenness causes infinite +Evils</p></td> +<td class = "number">130</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap21">CHAP. XXI.</a> +An Answer to the Objection, That the Mirth which Wine inspires is +chimerical</p></td> +<td class = "number">133</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap22">CHAP. XXII.</a> +An Answer to the Objection, That one loses one’s Reason in getting +Drunk</p></td> +<td class = "number">142</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap23">CHAP. XXIII.</a> +An Answer to the Objection, That one cannot trust a Man that gets +Drunk</p></td> +<td class = "number">150</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap24">CHAP. XXIV.</a> +An Answer to the Objection, That Drunkenness makes one incapable of +performing the Duties of civil Life</p></td> +<td class = "number">152</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap25">CHAP. XXV.</a> +Burlesque, ridiculous, and out-of-the-Way-Thoughts against +Drunkenness</p></td> +<td class = "number">157</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap26">CHAP. XXVI.</a> +A ridiculous Aversion that some have to Wine</p></td> +<td class = "number">160</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap27">CHAP. XXVII.</a> +Rigorous Laws against Wine and Drunkenness</p></td> +<td class = "number">164</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap28">CHAP. XXVIII.</a> +Rules to be observed in getting Drunk. I. Not too often. II. In +good Company</p></td> +<td class = "number">169</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap29">CHAP. XXIX.</a> +Third Rule, With good Wine</p></td> +<td class = "number">171</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap30">CHAP. XXX.</a> +Fourth Rule, At convenient Times</p></td> +<td class = "number">177</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap31">CHAP. XXXI.</a> +Fifth Rule, To force no one to drink</p></td> +<td class = "number">181</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td><p><a href = "#chap32">CHAP. XXXII.</a> +Sixth Rule, Not to push Drunkenness too far</p></td> +<td class = "number">184</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class = "smallcaps"><a href = "#postscript"> +Postscript</a></td> +<td class = "number">193</td> +</tr> +</table> + +<p> <br> </p> + +<span class = "pagenum">1</span> +<h5>THE</h5> +<h2>PRAISE</h2> +<h6>OF</h6> +<h1>DRUNKENNESS</h1> + +<hr class = "tiny"> + +<h3><a name = "chap1" id = "chap1">CHAP. I.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +THAT ONE MUST BE MERRY.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">I</span>f</span> on one hand I have reason to fear that +the title of this book will offend the delicate ears of a great many, +and make them say, that no vice ever wanted its advocate, <i>Nullo vitio +unquam defuit advocatus</i>; I am not, perhaps, less exposed on the +other to the criticisms of as many folks, who will probably apply to me +that which was said heretofore to one in Lacedemonia, who had a mind to +make an +<span class = "pagenum">2</span> +encomium on Hercules, viz. Who ever blamed Hercules?</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Quis Herculem vituperavit?</p> + +<p>However, though I should have no readers at all, yet am I resolved to +continue my discourse at the hazard, in some manner, of imitating Pyrrho +the philosopher, who one day, as he was haranguing the people, seeing +himself abandoned by all his auditors, pursued very magnanimously his +declamation to the end. To enter, therefore, upon the present subject, +I lay down this as my first position, viz. That it is lawful to get +drunk sometimes. Which I prove thus:—</p> + +<p>Sadness is in the highest degree prejudicial to health, and causes +abundance of distempers. There is no one ignorant of this truth. Joy +(or mirth) on the contrary, prevents and forces them away. It is, +as the Arabians say, the flower and spirit of a brisk and lively +health<a class = "tag" name = "tag1_1" id = "tag1_1" href = +"#note1_1">1</a>. Let us run over, and examine all the different states +of life, and we shall be forced to own, that there is not one of them +all but what is +<span class = "pagenum">3</span> +subject to chagrin and sadness; and, consequently, that joy, or mirth, +is most necessary to men. Which very probably the philosopher had in his +head, when he defined man a risible animal. But be that as it will, one +must certainly look upon that maxim which recommends mingling of +pleasures with the affairs of life as a very wise one.</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Sometimes with mirth and pleasure lard your cares<a class = "tag" name = +"tag1_2" id = "tag1_2" href = "#note1_2">2</a>.</p> + +<p>We shall confirm this precept by a beautiful passage out of Seneca, +whose writings most certainly contain no loose morality, and which is as +follows:— “The soul must not be always bent: one must sometimes +allow it a little pleasure. Socrates was not ashamed to pass the time +with children. Cato enjoyed himself in drinking plentifully, when his +mind had been too much wearied out in public affairs. Scipio knew very +well how to move that body, so much inured to wars and triumphs, without +breaking it, as some now-a-days do, with more than womanly pleasures; +but as people did in past times, who would +<span class = "pagenum">4</span> +make themselves merry on their festivals, by leading a dance really +worthy men of those days, whence could ensue no reproach, when even +their very enemies had seen them dance. One must allow the mind some +recreation: it makes it more gay and peaceful. And as it is not good too +much to cultivate soil the most fertile, least, by yielding too large +crops, it may soon run to decay and ruin: so in the same manner is the +mind broken by a continued labour and application. Those who respite a +little, regain their strength. Assiduity of labour begets a languor and +bluntness of the mind: for sleep is very necessary to refresh us, and +yet he that would do nothing else but sleep night and day, would be a +dead man and no more. There is a great deal of difference between +loosening a thing, and quite unravelling it. Those who made laws have +instituted <ins class = "notation" title = "text unchanged (one word)">holydays</ins>, +to oblige people to appear at public rejoicings, +in order to mingle with their cares a necessary temperament. There have +been several very great men (as I have mentioned) who would set +apart certain days of the month for that end; and some others, who had +every day set hours for +<span class = "pagenum">5</span> +work, and other set hours for recreation. One must therefore allow the +mind some recreation. One must allow it some repose and leisure, which +may serve for new strength and nourishment. You must sometimes walk in +the open air, that the mind may exalt itself by viewing the heavens, and +breathing the air at your ease; sometimes take the air in your chariot, +the roads and the change of the country will re-establish you in your +vigour; or you may eat and drink a little more plentifully than usual. +Sometimes one must go even as far as to get drunk; not, indeed, with an +intention to drown ourselves in wine, but to drown our cares. For wine +drives away sorrow and care, and goes and fetches them up from the +bottom of the soul. And as drunkenness cures some distempers, so, in +like manner, it is a sovereign remedy for our sorrows<a class = "tag" +name = "tag1_3" id = "tag1_3" href = "#note1_3">3</a>.”</p> + +<p>It must be confessed, indeed, that properly speaking, this passage of +Seneca is levelled only against too great assiduity in labour and +business; the application, however, is very just, in relation +<span class = "pagenum">6</span> +to chagrin, which causes in men’s minds a far greater alteration than +can be excited by the most rude labour either of mind or body.</p> + +<p>The ancients had, besides this, another motive which induced them to +make merry, and pass their time agreeably. They considered the short +duration of their life, and for that reason endeavoured to make the best +use of it they could. It will be no difficult matter for me to prove +what I here advance.</p> + +<p>Every one knows that the Egyptians made use of a very extraordinary +custom in their festivals. They shewed to every guest a skeleton: this, +according to some, was to make them think of death. Others again assure +us, “That this strange figure was made use of to a quite contrary end; +that this image of death was shewn for no other intent but to excite +them to pass away their life merrily, and to employ the few days of its +small duration to the best advantage; as having no other condition to +expect after death, but that of this frightful skeleton<a class = "tag" +name = "tag1_4" id = "tag1_4" href = "#note1_4">4</a>.”</p> + +<p>This last sentiment is, without doubt, most +<span class = "pagenum">7</span> +probable; for what likelihood is there that people would make +reflections the most sad and serious, at a time when they proposed only +to divert, and make themselves merry. This influence had the sight of a +skull upon the mind of Trimalchion, who Petronius<a class = "tag" name = +"tag1_5" id = "tag1_5" href = "#note1_5">5</a> tells us, thus expressed +himself on that object:— “Alas! alas! wretched that we are! what a +nothing is poor man! we shall be all like this, when Fate shall have +snatched us hence. Let us therefore rejoice, and be merry while we are +here.” The Latin is much stronger:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>Heu! heu! nos miseros! quam totus homuncio nil est,</p> +<p>Sic erimus cuncti, postquam nos auferet orcus.</p> +<p>Ergo vivamus, dum licet esse, bene.</p> +</div> + +<p>A little before he said almost the same thing. “Alas! wine therefore +lives longer than man, let us then sit down and drink bumpers; life and +wine are the same thing.” <i>Heu! heu! ergo diutius vivit vinum, quam +homuncio. Quare Tangomenas faciamus, vita vinum est.</i> This +<span class = "pagenum">8</span> +puts me in mind of what Athenæus<a class = "tag" name = "tag1_6" id = +"tag1_6" href = "#note1_6">6</a> reports of an Egyptian, called +Mycernius. This man having been told by the oracle that he had but a +very short time to live, resolved to make the most of that short space, +and to that end did nothing but drink night and day.</p> + +<p>This thought of an approaching death is not so importunate as is +believed, since it is, says an<a class = "tag" name = "tag1_7" id = +"tag1_7" href = "#note1_7">7</a> anonymous French author, +a principal beauty of an ancient hymn of the poet Cecilius. “Let me +be assured, says he, that I shall live six months, and I shall employ +them so well, as to die the seventh without any regret in the +world.”</p> + +<p>The same author goes on thus:— “The moderns have not failed +imitating the elegant flights of the fine wits of the ancient Greeks and +Romans. I find, especially, that the Italians come nearer to them; +perhaps, because they are more proper than others to refine on pleasure. +This is the character of the nation, of the truth of which I shall give +no other proof than the last lines of an elegy, written by +<span class = "pagenum">9</span> +Samazarius, a Neapolitan gentleman.” The sense of which in English +runs thus.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>Since vig’rous youth, all blooming, brisk, and gay,</p> +<p>Excites our tender souls to sport and play,</p> +<p>Let’s taste ambrosial pleasures while we may.</p> +<p>Those joys to which our souls are most inclin’d,</p> +<p>And suit the throbbing passions of the mind.</p> +<p>Let’s love while soft ecstatic fires engage,</p> +<p>And shew us lovers on the world’s great stage,</p> +<p>Dull reason only suits with frightful age.</p> +<p>And see, she comes, for ever to destroy,</p> +<p>For ever all our bliss, and all our joy.</p> +<p>Unwelcome age comes on with swiftest pace;</p> +<p>Let’s then prevent this wretched sad disgrace.</p> +<p>O may the terrors of approaching fate,</p> +<p>Excite new fires, inspire fresh vig’rous heat;</p> +<p>That love may sov’reign reign in ev’ry part,</p> +<p>And drive unworthy weakness from our heart.</p> +<p>Thrice happy, if surpriz’d by death one day,</p> +<p>Absorpt in sweetest bliss we die away.</p> +</div> + +<p>But to return to my subject. We are told for certain, that the +Scythians used to drink out of a skull; and probably they had the same +design in doing so as the Egyptians had in looking on their skeletons. +But leaving these +<span class = "pagenum">10</span> +objects, which cannot be very diverting, in what view soever one may +consider them, let us come to the Romans. Gruter tells us in his +Inscriptions<a class = "tag" name = "tag1_8" id = "tag1_8" href = +"#note1_8">8</a>, that they used to cry out at their feasts,</p> + +<p class = "center smallcaps"> +Amici,<br> +Dum vivimus,<br> +Vivamus.</p> + +<p>That is, “Friends, while we live, let us be merry.” For Raderus has +evidently made it appear, by several examples out of Catullus, Cecilius, +Varro, Anacreon, and other ancient authors, that <i>vivere</i>, or <i>to +live</i>, signifies to make merry, to give one’s self up to all kinds of +pleasures, making good cheer, &c.</p> + +<p>I know not whether the Gascogns, who pronouncing the <i>V</i> +consonant like <i>B</i>, instead of <span class = +"smallcaps">Vivis</span> <i>et regnas in secula seculorum</i>, say +(as I have been informed, how true it is I know not) <span class = +"smallcaps">Bibis</span> <i>et regnas in secula seculorum</i>, are of +the same sentiment with Raderus in this point: but very probably that +good honest German +<span class = "pagenum">11</span> +was, who in a kind of ecstasy over a bottle cry’d out,</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +O felices populi, quorum <i>vivere</i> est <i>bibere</i>!</p> + +<p>However, to prove this, as also at the same time to confirm what has +been said above, in relation to the motives that induced people of old +times to make merry, I shall instance some passages of the +ancients. But first let us not omit this inscription in Gruter<a class = +"tag" name = "tag1_9" id = "tag1_9" href = "#note1_9">9</a>, which is +not much unlike the former.</p> + +<p class = "center"> +<span class = "smallroman"> +VIVE, HOSPES, DUM LICET, ATQUE VALE.</span></p> + +<p>“Be merry, landlord, and enjoy yourself while ’tis in your power, as +for the rest, adieu.”</p> + +<p>Martial says somewhere, “Be merry <ins class= "correction" title = +"text reads ‘to day’">to-day</ins>, depend not on to-morrow.”</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Sera nimis vita est crastina, vive hodie.</p> + +<p>Catullus expresses much the same sentiments in these beautiful +verses:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Vivamus <span class = "dash">————</span></p> +<p>Rumoresq; senum severiorum,</p> +<span class = "pagenum">12</span> +<p>Omnes <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘uninus’">unius</ins> estimemus assis.</p> +<p>Soles occidere et redire possunt;</p> +<p>Nobis cum semel occidit brevis lux,</p> +<p>Nox est perpetua una dormienda.”<a class = "tag" name = "tag1_9a" id += "tag1_9a" href = "#note1_9a">9a</a></p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>“Let us be merry <span class = +"dash">————</span></p> +<p>And all the rigid cant of peevish age,</p> +<p>Count as poor straws that on the surface float.</p> +<p>The sun may roll his swift diurnal course,</p> +<p>And from the ocean raise again his head,</p> +<p>But when our glimm’ring lamp of life’s expir’d,</p> +<p>One long perpetual night we then must sleep.”</p> +</div> + +<p>Horace, in several places, says how we ought (according to him) to +employ to the best advantage the little time we have to live; but +especially in one of his odes, which in English would run thus.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<h5>I.</h5> + +<p>“All things hereto invite. Come, come, away,</p> +<p>Let’s seize the present hours, nor vainly care</p> +<p>For future time, but wisely, only fear</p> +<p>To lose of life one short uncertain day,</p> +<p>Or moment, which in death must soon decay,</p> +<p>No human force can her strict laws withstand:</p> +<p>Her cruel rigour no one spares,</p> +<p>The blooming cheek, and hoary hairs,</p> +<p>Alike submit to her victorious hand.</p> +<span class = "pagenum">13</span> +<p>O’er all she bears unbounded sway,</p> +<p>All her impartial scythe relentless mows:</p> +<p>Th’ ill-manner’d tyranness no difference shows,</p> +<p>Betwixt imperial and plebeian clay.</p> + +<h5>II.</h5> + +<p>When we the dark and dismal beach</p> +<p>Of dreaded floods below shall reach,</p> +<p>And vain cold phantoms quiv’ring stand,</p> +<p>In those sad gloomy shades of night,</p> +<p>No Cynthia’s charms will then command,</p> +<p>Nor Iris with her angel’s voice delight;</p> +<p>Nor Doris with soft dying languors move.</p> +<p>These dreary realms exclude, alas! for ever love.</p> + +<h5>III.</h5> + +<p>Nor are there any boon companions <i>there</i>,</p> +<p>To laugh, and sing, and make good cheer:</p> +<p>There shall we taste no more that wondrous juice,</p> +<p>That nectar which the blessed vines produce,</p> +<p>The height of all our joy, and wishes <i>here</i>.</p> +<p>Nor those sweet entertainments gay,</p> +<p>When by the glass inspir’d so many kings,</p> +<p>We tope, and speak, and do heroic things,</p> +<p>And count ourselves more happy far than they.</p> +<p>These days of ours the fatal sisters spin,</p> +<p>To consecrate to love and wine,</p> +<span class = "pagenum">14</span> +<p>Let’s now, e’er ’tis too late begin.</p> +<p>Alas! without these pow’rs divine</p> +<p>What should one do with a vain useless thread?</p> +<p>What does it aught avail to breathe and move?</p> +<p>One had as good be dead,</p> +<p>Much better be no more, than not to drink and love.”</p> +</div> + +<p>I shall close this chapter with one of the Anacreontic odes of the +famous Monsieur La Motte, author of the <i>Fables Nouvelles</i>, lately +translated into English under the title of “<i>Court Fables</i>.”</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Bûvons, <!-- 1723 bûvrons --> amis, le temps s’enfuit,</p> +<p>Menageons bien ce court espace.</p> +<p>Peut-etre une eternelle nuit</p> +<p>Eteindra le jour qui se passe.</p> + +<p class = "stanza"> +Peut-etre que Caron demain</p> +<p>Nous recevra tous dans sa barque,</p> +<p>Saisissons un moment certain.</p> +<p>C’est autant de pris sur la parque.</p> + +<p class = "stanza"> +A l’envi laissons-nous saisir,</p> +<p>Aux transports d’une douce ivresse:</p> +<p><ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘Qu’ importe’">Qu’importe</ins> si c’est un plaisir,</p> +<p>Que ce soit folie ou sagesse.”</p> +</div> + +<span class = "pagenum">15</span> +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>“Let’s drink, my friends, time flies away,</p> +<p>Let’s husband well this little space;</p> +<p>For what we know, this very day</p> +<p>May to eternal night give place.</p> + +<p class = "stanza"> +Let’s snatch from Fate one certain minute,</p> +<p>Perhaps to-morrow Charon’s wherry,</p> +<p>May every mother’s son take in it,</p> +<p>And waft us o’er the Stygian ferry.</p> + +<p class = "stanza"> +In giddy transports without measure</p> +<p>With wine lets drown all melancholy.</p> +<p>No matter if it be a pleasure,</p> +<p>Whether ’tis wisdom call’d, or folly.”</p> +</div> + + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note1_1" id = "note1_1" href = "#tag1_1">1.</a> +Elle est, comme disent les Arabes, la fleur et l’esprit de la santé vive +et remuante.</p> + +<p><a name = "note1_2" id = "note1_2" href = "#tag1_2">2.</a> +Interpone tuis interdum gaudia curis.</p> + +<p><a name = "note1_3" id = "note1_3" href = "#tag1_3">3.</a> +Seneca de Tranquilitate.</p> + +<p><a name = "note1_4" id = "note1_4" href = "#tag1_4">4.</a> +Histoire de Sept Sages, &c. p. 137.</p> + +<p><a name = "note1_5" id = "note1_5" href = "#tag1_5">5.</a> +Chap. 34.</p> + +<p><a name = "note1_6" id = "note1_6" href = "#tag1_6">6.</a> +Lib. 10. cap. 10.</p> + +<p><a name = "note1_7" id = "note1_7" href = "#tag1_7">7.</a> +Reflex. sur les Morts Plais. p. 22.</p> + +<p><a name = "note1_8" id = "note1_8" href = "#tag1_8">8.</a> +P. 609.</p> + +<p><a name = "note1_9" id = "note1_9" href = "#tag1_9">9.</a> +P. 699.</p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note1_9a" id = "note1_9a" href = "#tag1_9a">9a.</a> +Catullus V.1-6: (<i>Vivamus, mea Lesbia, atque amemus</i>)</p> +</div> + + + + +<span class = "pagenum">16</span> +<h3><a name = "chap2" id = "chap2">CHAP. II.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +THAT WINE DRIVES AWAY SORROW AND EXCITES MIRTH.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">O</span>f</span> all the means proper to drive away +sorrow, and excite mirth in the minds of men, wine is certainly the most +agreeable and efficacious.</p> + +<p>For in the first place it banishes all manner of cares, and makes us +entirely forget them, producing the same effect as the waters of the +River Lethe on those souls which were destined to enter into other +bodies.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p><span class = +"dash">——————</span> Animæ quibus +altera fato</p> +<p>Corpora debentur, Lethei ad fluminis undam</p> +<p>Securos latices, et longa oblivio potant<a class = "tag" name = +"tag2_1" id = "tag2_1" href = "#note2_1">1</a>.</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p><span class = +"dash">——————</span> Those souls +which Fate decrees</p> +<p>Shall other bodies take, upon the strand</p> +<p>Of Lethe sit, and drink secure the flood,</p> +<p>And long oblivion.</p> +</div> + +<span class = "pagenum">17</span> +<p>For the same reason, undoubtedly, Isidore defined drunkenness a +certain forgetfulness caused in the mind, through indulgence of +immoderate drinking. His words are these:— <i>Ebrietas est per +quam menti quædam oblivio generatur ex superfluorum potuum +indulgentia</i><a class = "tag" name = "tag2_2" id = "tag2_2" href = +"#note2_2">2</a><ins class = "notation" title = "close quote in original">.”</ins></p> + +<p>A certain French poet<a class = "tag" name = "tag2_3" id = "tag2_3" +href = "#note2_3">3</a> sings thus much in the same tune:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Oui, Thirsis, <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘cest’">c’est</ins> le vin qui nous fait rejeunir,</p> +<p>Et qui bannit de nos pensees;</p> +<p>Le regret de choses <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘possees’">passees</ins>,</p> +<p>Et le crainte de l’avenir.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Yes, Thirsis, ’tis the vine’s prolific juice</p> +<p>Can youth and beauty re-produce,</p> +<p>Banish the sad regret of former years,</p> +<p>And of futurity the fears.</p> +</div> + +<p>In the next place, wine is a sovereign remedy against a particular +species of sorrow or chagrin, I mean a sort of inward +wearisomeness, which the French call <i>ennui</i>. I shall explain +myself a little farther, and for my expositor I cannot make choice of a +fitter person than Mr. de St. +<span class = "pagenum">18</span> +Evremont<a class = "tag" name = "tag2_4" id = "tag2_4" href = +"#note2_4">4</a>, who, after having discoursed a little on this subject, +adds, “That good cheer with one’s friends, is a sovereign remedy against +this kind of chagrin; for besides that conversation at such times +becomes more free and gay, it insensibly sweetens it. It is certain that +wine rouses up the forces of nature, and gives our soul a vigour capable +to drive away all sorts of uneasiness. I know very well that +certain morose people, at least externally so, and in appearance, will +shew a great deal of aversion for a remedy, the delights of which they +do not, however, too much despise. But all grimace aside. I don’t +trouble myself with their ill-understood severities, since the most +severe philosopher in the world has advised us to make use of this +remedy; and the most morose of our illustrious men have submitted, if we +may say so, their most austere virtues to the charms of this sweet +pleasure; and the most well-bred people have not disdained its +usage.”</p> + +<p>In a word, (I must speak a little French now and then,)</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">19</span> +<div class = "verse"> +<p><a class = "tag" name = "tag2_5" id = "tag2_5" href = +"#note2_5">5</a>Le vin fait que les annees,</p> +<p>Nous durent moins que les journees.</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Wine makes whole years to pass away,</p> +<p>And seem much shorter than one day.</p> +</div> + +<p>But it does more than all this, it even assuages choler; it is an +admirable cataplasm for rage. To cite a vast number of examples to prove +this important truth would be superfluous. Amongst the many illustrious +ones I could instance, I shall content myself to mention that of +the Emperor Maximin<a class = "tag" name = "tag2_6" id = "tag2_6" href = +"#note2_6">6</a>, who, having been declared an enemy to the people of +Rome, by the senate, fell into such a rage and fury, that no other way +could be thought on to bring him back to his natural temper than by +making him drunk.</p> + +<p>But let us return to the two principal qualities of wine, which +consist in driving away care and sorrow, and exciting mirth and joy.</p> + +<p>A certain French author<a class = "tag" name = "tag2_7" id = "tag2_7" +href = "#note2_7">7</a> has a few verses on +<span class = "pagenum">20</span> +this subject, which, as not <i>mal-apropos</i>, I shall here insert. +Talking of the good qualities of wine, he says,—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Tu sais, mon cher Thirsis, qu’il a le privilege</p> +<p>D’etouffer les ennuis dont l’aigreur nous assiege.</p> +<p>Et que cette liqueur chasse de nos esprits,</p> +<p>Tous les facheux pensers dont nous sommes surpris,</p> +<p>C’est ce qui nous oblige a cherir la bouteille.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>You know, dear Thirsis, and full well you know,</p> +<p>To wine this privilege we owe,</p> +<p>It stifles all those sad invading cares</p> +<p>Which irksome chagrin ever wears.</p> + +<p class = "stanza"> +This sprightful liquid makes us brisk and gay,</p> +<p>And drives effectually away</p> +<p>Those thoughts vexatious that surprise our soul,</p> +<p>And makes us cherish the full bowl.</p> +</div> + +<p>Seneca, whom I have mentioned in the foregoing chapter, confirms what +has been said, “Sometimes,” says he, “one must go even so far as +drunkenness; not, indeed, that it may drown us, but drown our cares: for +drunkenness washes away care, and moves the very bottom of the soul. And +as it is a sovereign remedy +<span class = "pagenum">21</span> +against some distempers, so is it a perfect cure for heaviness and <ins +class = "notation" title = "close quote missing">sorrow.</ins> +<i>Nonnunquam usque ad ebrietatem veniendum, non ut mergat nos, sed ut +deprimat curas. Eluit enim curas, et ab imo animæ movet, et ut morbis +quibusdam, ita tristitiæ medetur</i><a class = "tag" name = "tag2_8" id += "tag2_8" href = "#note2_8">8</a>. On this account certainly it was, +Pliny maintained that Nepenthe, whose virtues Homer so much exaggerates, +was nothing in the world but generous wine.</p> + +<p>Horace, in like manner, insists that wine is the only proper expeller +of the most racking cares.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p><span class = +"dash">————————</span> +Neque</p> +<p>Mordaces aliter diffugiunt sollicitudines<a class = "tag" name = +"tag2_9" id = "tag2_9" href = "#note2_9">9</a>.</p> +</div> + +<p class = "verse trans"> +Nor otherwise are cank’ring cares remov’d.</p> + +<p>And thus advises the sage Plancus to have recourse to this +remedy:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Sic tu sapiens finire memento</p> +<p>Tristitiam, vitæque labores</p> +<p>Molli, Plance, mero.”<a class = "tag" name = "tag2_9a" id = "tag2_9a" +href = "#note2_9a">9a</a></p> +</div> + +<span class = "pagenum">22</span> +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>So, thou, sage Plancus, this <i>memento</i> keep,</p> +<p>To lull the cares and toils of life asleep</p> +<p>With cordial juleps of old mellow wine;</p> +<p>The grand and universal anodyne.</p> +</div> + +<p>In another place he thus beautifully sounds the praises of +drunkenness:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Ebrietas quid non designat? operta recludit</p> +<p>Spes jubet esse ratas: in prælia trudit inertem,</p> +<p>Sollicitis animis onus eximit: addocet artes.</p> +<p>Facundi calices, quem non fecere disertum?</p> +<p>Contracta quem non in paupertate solutum.”<a class = "tag" name = +"tag2_9b" id = "tag2_9b" href = "#note2_9b">9b</a></p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>In drunkenness what pow’rful magic lies,</p> +<p>What’s most envelop’d from researching eyes,</p> +<p>(Transparent thing!) it evidently shows,</p> +<p>The innocent no dark disguises knows.</p> +<p>By her commands our hopes maturely rise,</p> +<p>Push’d on to war the coward dauntless dies,</p> +<p>And sinking minds beneath unwieldy care,</p> +<p>Cast off the load, and move with sprightful air.</p> +<p>To her, all arts their origin must owe:</p> +<p>What wretch so dull but eloquent must grow,</p> +<p>When the full goblets with persuasive wine,</p> +<p>Inebriate with bright elegance divine,</p> +<p>The drunken beggars plume like proudest kings,</p> +<p>And the poor tipsy slave in fetters sings.</p> +</div> + +<span class = "pagenum">23</span> +<p>After all this, will any one accuse me for a plagiary, and that I +steal from the most common places? No matter. I have company +enough: do not all modern authors do so? However, I shall not, for +all that, pass over in silence what Ovid has said of this same +drunkenness. The passage is this:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Vina parant animos, faciuntque coloribus aptos.</p> +<p>Cura fugit, multo diluiturque mero.</p> +<p>Tunc veniunt risus, tunc pauper cornua sumit,</p> +<p>Tunc dolor et curæ, rugaque frontis abit.</p> +<p>Tunc aperit mentes, ævo rarissima nostro</p> +<p>Simplicitas, artes excutiente Deo.”<a class = "tag" name = "tag2_9c" +id = "tag2_9c" href = "#note2_9c">9c</a></p> +</div> + +<p>As I am nothing less than a poet, I shall not presume <i>to dance +with the Nine Sisters</i>, to make use of the thought of the ingenious +Sarasin. However, here follows an Ode of Anacreon, which may supply the +place of a translation of those verses of Ovid.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<h5>I.</h5> + +<p>When I hold a full glass in my hand,</p> +<p>I laugh and I merrily sing;</p> +<p>I think I have sov’reign command</p> +<p>And the treasures possess of a king.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">24</span> +<h5>II.</h5> + +<p>Let who will try their fate in the field,</p> +<p>In war all their days let them pass:</p> +<p>No arms but the bottle I’ll <ins class = "notation" title = "spelling unchanged">weild</ins>,</p> +<p>Fill, boy, then, a thundering glass,</p> + +<h5>III.</h5> + +<p>If Bacchus the victory gain,</p> +<p>On the ground tho’ I’m motionless laid;</p> +<p>All agree it, <i>a truth very plain</i>,</p> +<p>’Tis better be <i>drunk</i> than be <i>dead</i>.</p> +</div> + +<p>And very probably the Greek philosopher had wine in view, when he +caused an inscription to be made over his door in these words, in +capitals, “Here are remedies for all sorts of afflictions: here are +cures for all distempers of the soul.”</p> + +<p>The philosopher so often quoted by Seneca, desired no more than bread +and cheese, to rival Jupiter in happiness. For my part, though I am no +less a philosopher, yet I desire nothing to effect this but good wine. +For when I take a hearty glass, I find myself so much transported +with joy, that I could almost cry out +<span class = "pagenum">25</span> +with that little fool in the Latin comedy<a class = "tag" name = +"tag2_10" id = "tag2_10" href = "#note2_10">10</a>, “Now could I pardon +any one that would kill me, so much afraid am I lest some accident may +trouble the purity of my happiness, and mingle some ungrateful bitter +with the exquisite sweets I now enjoy.” And, indeed, it is amongst +bottles and glasses that one may truly say,</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p><span class = "dash">————</span> “Mediis +videat discumbere in astris,</p> +<p>Cum Jove, et Iliacâ porrectum sumere dextrâ</p> +<p>Immortale merum<a class = "tag" name = "tag2_11" id = "tag2_11" href += "#note2_11">11</a>.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Far from the earth remov’d in realms above,</p> +<p>I seem amongst the stars to sit with Jove:</p> +<p>Lolling in ease celestial, lie supine,</p> +<p>And taste from Ganymede immortal wine.</p> +</div> + +<p>And without doubt Asclepiades had all this in his head, when he +maintained that the gods produced nothing that equalled wine in +goodness. Philostratus is much of the same sentiment, who after having +taken notice of the edict of the +<span class = "pagenum">26</span> +Emperor Domitian, who forbad men to be castrated, and vines to be +planted, he adds, that this admirable emperor did not reflect that he +made the earth in some sort an eunuch, at the same time that he spared +men.</p> + +<p>Varro sounded the praise of drunkenness in terms no less +pathetic.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Vino nil quicquam jucundius eluet,</p> +<p>Hoc continet coagulum convivii;</p> +<p>Hoc hilaritatis dulce seminarium</p> +<p>Hoc ægritudinem ad medendam invenerunt.”<a class = "tag" name = +"tag2_11a" id = "tag2_11a" href = "#note2_11a">11a</a></p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Than wine no orient jewels finer play,</p> +<p>And dart more pleasantly their glittering ray.</p> +<p>This vital juice, the cream of all the feast,</p> +<p>Strong cement, close uniting every breast,</p> +<p>The sweet prolific seed of gay desires,</p> +<p>Bright mirth, and gen’rous amity inspires.</p> +<p>This was found out a certain remedy</p> +<p>To set mankind from all distempers free.</p> +</div> + +<p>Monsieur La Motte, whom I must ever admire for his inimitable Court +Fables, before mentioned, will furnish us with a beautiful ode to close +this chapter<a class = "tag" name = "tag2_12" id = "tag2_12" href = +"#note2_12">12</a>.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">27</span> +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Bacchus contre moi tout conspire,</p> +<p>Viens me consoler de mes maux:</p> +<p>Je vois au mépris de la lire</p> +<p>Couronner d’indignes rivaux.</p> + +<p class = "stanza"> +Tout me rend la vie importune</p> +<p>Une volage me trahit,</p> +<p>J’eus peu de bien de la fortune,</p> +<p>L’injustice me le ravit.</p> + +<p class = "stanza"> +Mon plus cher ami m’abandonne,</p> +<p>En vain j’implore son secours,</p> +<p>Et la calomnie empoisonne.</p> +<p>Le reste de mes tristes jours.</p> + +<p class = "stanza"> +Bacchus viens me verser a boire</p> +<p>Encore<span class = "dash">——</span>bon<span class = +"dash">——</span>je suis soulagé,</p> +<p>Chaque coup m’ôte la <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘memorie’">memoire</ins></p> +<p>Des maux qui m’avoient affligé.</p> + +<p class = "stanza"> +Verse encore<span class = "dash">——</span>je vois +l’allegresse</p> +<p>Nager sur le jus precieux.</p> +<p>Donne, redouble<span class = "dash">——</span>O douce +yvresse!</p> +<p>Je suis plus heureux que les dieux.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Help, Bacchus, or I’m quite undone,</p> +<p>All things against my peace conspire;</p> +<p>Unworthy rivals many a one,</p> +<p>I find, despising song and lyre.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">28</span> +<p class = "stanza"> +My life’s entirely irksome grown,</p> +<p>By an inconstant I’m betray’d,</p> +<p>On that small fortune, once my own,</p> +<p>Injustice has severely prey’d.</p> + +<p class = "stanza"> +Forsaken by my dearest friend,</p> +<p>In vain his succour I implore;</p> +<p>And calumnies rank poisons send,</p> +<p>And what is left of life devour.</p> + +<p class = "stanza"> +Bacchus, some wine; fill higher yet</p> +<p>Again<span class = "dash">——</span>so<span class = +"dash">——</span>I some comfort find;</p> +<p>Each smiling glass makes me forget</p> +<p>Those evils that have rack’d my mind.</p> + +<p class = "stanza"> +Some more<span class = "dash">——</span>I see gay images</p> +<p>On the rich surface sprightly move,</p> +<p>Fill double<span class = "dash">——</span>O sweet +drunkenness!</p> +<p>I’m happier than the gods above.</p> +</div> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note2_1" id = "note2_1" href = "#tag2_1">1.</a> +Virgil. Æneid. lib. vi. v. 713.</p> + +<p><a name = "note2_2" id = "note2_2" href = "#tag2_2">2.</a> +Lib. 3. Etymol.</p> + +<p><a name = "note2_3" id = "note2_3" href = "#tag2_3">3.</a> +Rec. Poes.</p> + +<p><a name = "note2_4" id = "note2_4" href = "#tag2_4">4.</a> +Miscel. vol. i.</p> + +<p><a name = "note2_5" id = "note2_5" href = "#tag2_5">5.</a> +Rec. de Poes.</p> + +<p><a name = "note2_6" id = "note2_6" href = "#tag2_6">6.</a> +Jul. Capit. Hist. Aug. Script. fol. p. 359.</p> + +<p><a name = "note2_7" id = "note2_7" href = "#tag2_7">7.</a> +Nicol. Rec. de Vers. p. 44.</p> + +<p><a name = "note2_8" id = "note2_8" href = "#tag2_8">8.</a> +Seneca de Tranquil.</p> + +<p><a name = "note2_9" id = "note2_9" href = "#tag2_9">9.</a> +Lib. i. ode 18.</p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note2_9a" id = "note2_9a" href = "#tag2_9a">9a.</a> +Horace, <i>Odes</i> I.vii.17-19.</p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note2_9b" id = "note2_9b" href = "#tag2_9b">9b.</a> +Horace, <i>Epistulae</i> I.v.16-20.</p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note2_9c" id = "note2_9c" href = "#tag2_9c">9c.</a> +Ovid, <i>Ars Amatoria</i> I.237-242</p> + +<p><a name = "note2_10" id = "note2_10" href = "#tag2_10">10.</a> +Nunc est profecto cum me patior interfici, ne hoc gaudium aliquâ +contaminetur ægritudine. —<i>Eunuch.</i></p> + +<p><a name = "note2_11" id = "note2_11" href = "#tag2_11">11.</a> +Statii Sil. 2. lib. iv.</p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note2_11a" id = "note2_11a" href = "#tag2_11a">11a.</a> +Varro, Menippean Satires, fragment from <i>Est modus matulae</i>.</p> + +<p><a name = "note2_12" id = "note2_12" href = "#tag2_12">12.</a> +Ode ix. Anacr.</p> +</div> + + + + +<span class = "pagenum">29</span> +<h3><a name = "chap3" id = "chap3">CHAP. III.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +THAT IT IS GOOD FOR ONE’S HEALTH TO GET DRUNK SOMETIMES.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">A</span>lthough</span> mirth and joy be absolutely +necessary to health, yet it must be allowed that there are a great many +pleasures very injurious and prejudicial to it; and we should act with +precaution in using those we make choice of<a class = "tag" name = +"tag3_1" id = "tag3_1" href = "#note3_1">1</a>. But this precaution is +not necessary in those we seek in the sweet juice of the grape. So far +is drunkenness from prejudicing our health, that, on the contrary, it +highly preserves it. This is the sentiment of the most able physicians. +These worthy gentlemen are arbiters of life and death. They have over +us, <i>jus vitæ et necis</i>. We must therefore believe them. +<i>Ergo</i>, let us heartily +<span class = "pagenum">30</span> +carouse. Every one knows that Hippocrates, the prince of physicians, +prescribes getting drunk once a month, as a thing very necessary to the +conservation of health; for, according to him, in the words of a certain +French lady <a class = "tag" name = "tag3_2" id = "tag3_2" href = +"#note3_2">2</a>,</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Une utile et douce chaleur</p> +<p>Fait qu’on pense au sortir de table</p> +<p>Avoir pris de cet or potable,</p> +<p>Qui triomphe des ans, qui chasse la douleur,</p> +<p>Qui fait tout, et qui par malheur</p> +<p>N’a jamais été qu’une fable.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>When from the bottle, flush’d with wine, we rise,</p> +<p>The brisk effluvia brighten in our eyes;</p> +<p>This sweet and useful warmth still makes us think,</p> +<p>That cups of potable rich gold we drink,</p> +<p>Which baffles time, and triumphs over years,</p> +<p>Drives away grief, and sad perplexing cares;</p> +<p>Does all, and yet in fables sweet disguise,</p> +<p>O dire mishap! its only essence lies.</p> +</div> + +<p>“Avicenna and Rasis, most excellent physicians of Arabia, say<a class += "tag" name = "tag3_3" id = "tag3_3" href = "#note3_3">3</a>, that it +is a thing very salutary and wholesome to get drunk sometimes.”</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">31</span> +<p>Monsieur Hofman confirms what has been just now said in relation to +Avicenna, and adds thereto the testimony of another physician. +“Avicenna,” says he<a class = "tag" name = "tag3_4" id = "tag3_4" href = +"#note3_4">4</a>, “absolutely approves getting drunk once or twice every +month, and alleges for it physical reasons.”—Dioscorides says, +“That drunkenness is not always hurtful, but that very often it is +necessary for the conservation of health.”—Homer says, “That +Nestor, who lived so long, tossed off huge bocals of wine<a class = +"tag" name = "tag3_5" id = "tag3_5" href = "#note3_5">5</a>.”</p> + +<p>Monsieur Hofman believes also, that wine is an excellent preservative +against distempers, and of an admirable use in their cure. In like +manner, several divines believe, that there is no manner of harm in +getting drunk, when it is done for health’s sake and not for pleasure. +In this class one may reckon Pere Taverne, a Jesuit<a class = "tag" +name = "tag3_6" id = "tag3_6" href = "#note3_6">6</a>. These are his +words: “Drunkenness,” says he, “is a mortal sin, if one falls into it +for pleasure only; but if one gets drunk for any +<span class = "pagenum">32</span> +honest end, as for example, by direction of one’s physician in order to +recover health, there is no manner of harm in it at all.”</p> + +<p>But, however, not to digress too much from our subject, to preserve +their health the Africans drink a great deal of wine; and this they do +to help the digestion of the vast quantity of fruits they eat.</p> + +<p>Montaigne<a class = "tag" name = "tag3_7" id = "tag3_7" href = "#note3_7">7</a> +<ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘tell’">tells</ins> +us, that he heard Silvius, an excellent physician of +Paris, say, <ins class = "notation" title = "open quote in original">“That</ins> +to keep up the powers of the stomach, that they +faint not, it would be very proper to rouze them up once a month by this +wholesome excess. And if we believe Regnier, a young physician does +not see so far as an old drunkard<a class = "tag" name = "tag3_8" id = +"tag3_8" href = "#note3_8">8</a>.</p> + +<p>We also say with the French poet<a class = "tag" name = "tag3_9" id = +"tag3_9" href = "#note3_9">9</a>,</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Si Bourdaloue<a class = "tag" name = "tag3_10" id = "tag3_10" href = +"#note3_10">10</a> un peu severe</p> +<p>Nous dit: craignez la volupté</p> +<p>Escobar<a class = "tag" href = "#note3_10">10</a>, lui dit on mon +pere</p> +<p>Nous la permet pour la <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘sante’">santé</ins>!”</p> +</div> + +<span class = "pagenum">33</span> +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>If Bourdaloue, somewhat severe,</p> +<p>Warns us to dread voluptuous sweets,</p> +<p>Good honest father Escobar,</p> +<p>To fuddle for one’s health permits.</p> +</div> + +<p>And, by the bye, if the number of physicians, who used to get drunk, +proves any thing, I could insert a good round catalogue, amongst +whom I do not find any English doctors, for they are the most abstemious +persons in the world; however, being unwilling to trouble my gentle +reader with so long a bead-roll, I shall instance only two very +illustrious topers of the faculty. The first is no less a man than the +great Paracelsus, who used to get drunk very often; and the other is the +famous master Dr. Francis Rabelais, who took a singular pleasure to +moisten his clay; or to make use of one of his own expressions, <i>Humer +le piot</i>.</p> + +<p>I could, after these, mention Patin<a class = "tag" name = "tag3_11" +id = "tag3_11" href = "#note3_11">11</a>, who tells us, That when he +gave his public entertainment for his <i>decanat</i>, or deanship, at +which thirty-six of his colleagues assisted, he never saw in all his +life so much toping. From all which, +<span class = "pagenum">34</span> +however, one may very reasonably infer, that so many able persons would +never have drunk so much, had they not thought it was no ways +prejudicial to their health.</p> + +<p>To conclude, let any one allege this verse as a maxim, that</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Pocula non lædunt paucula, multa nocent.</p> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>It does no harm to take a glass or two,</p> +<p>But in great numbers mighty ills accrue.</p> +</div> + +<p>And I shall do myself the honour to answer him with another verse, +that sometimes</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Una salus sanis multam potare salutem<a class = "tag" name = "tag3_12" +id = "tag3_12" href = "#note3_12">12</a>.</p> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>The only health to people hale and sound,</p> +<p>Is to have many a tippling health go round.</p> +</div> + +<p>And that this is true, witness the great Hippocrates, who says,</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>That what to health conduceth best,</p> +<p>Is fuddling once a month at least<a class = "tag" name = "tag3_13" id += "tag3_13" href = "#note3_13">13</a>.</p> +</div> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note3_1" id = "note3_1" href = "#tag3_1">1.</a> +<i>Voluptates ut mel summo digito degustandæ non plerâ manu sumendæ.</i> +Dionys. Sophron. apud Philostr.</p> + +<p><a name = "note3_2" id = "note3_2" href = "#tag3_2">2.</a> +Mad. Deshoul. t. ii. ep. p. 104.</p> + +<p><a name = "note3_3" id = "note3_3" href = "#tag3_3">3.</a> +Div. Lec. de P. Messie, part ii. ch. 15.</p> + +<p><a name = "note3_4" id = "note3_4" href = "#tag3_4">4.</a> +Hofman, t. ii. 9 dissert. ch. 6.</p> + +<p><a name = "note3_5" id = "note3_5" href = "#tag3_5">5.</a> +Bocal, an Italian word, and signifies a pot or jug holding about three +pints.</p> + +<p><a name = "note3_6" id = "note3_6" href = "#tag3_6">6.</a> +Synopses Theolog. Pract.</p> + +<p><a name = "note3_7" id = "note3_7" href = "#tag3_7">7.</a> +Essays, lib. ii. cap. 2.</p> + +<p><a name = "note3_8" id = "note3_8" href = "#tag3_8">8.</a> +Satir.</p> + +<p><a name = "note3_9" id = "note3_9" href = "#tag3_9">9.</a> +Boileau.</p> + +<p><a name = "note3_10" id = "note3_10" href = "#tag3_10">10.</a> +The names of two jesuits, the former a famous preacher, and the other as +famous a casuist.</p> + +<p><a name = "note3_11" id = "note3_11" href = "#tag3_11">11.</a> +Esprit de Pat. p. 51.</p> + +<p><a name = "note3_12" id = "note3_12" href = "#tag3_12">12.</a> +Owen, Ep. +<span class = "mynote"> +John Owen (1564-1622): <i>possibly</i> I.ii.42.</span></p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p><a name = "note3_13" id = "note3_13" href = "#tag3_13">13.</a> + <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘Qui’l’">Qu’il</ins> +faut a chaque mois.</p> +<p class = "indent2"> +Du moin s’enyvrer une fois.</p> + +<p class = "indent8">Fureteriana.</p> +</div> + +</div> + + + +<span class = "pagenum">35</span> +<h3><a name = "chap4" id = "chap4">CHAP. IV.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +THAT OLD PEOPLE OUGHT TO GET DRUNK SOMETIMES.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">W</span>ine</span> taken with some excess is excellent for +old people.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p><span class = "dash">——</span> Ubi jam validis quassatum +est viribus ævi</p> +<p>Corpus et obtusis ceciderunt viribus artus<a class = "tag" name = +"tag4_1" id = "tag4_1" href = "#note4_1">1</a>.</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>When shaken by the powerful force of age</p> +<p>The body languid grows, and ev’ry joint</p> +<p>Its proper juice exhal’d, all feeble droops.</p> +</div> + +<p>And is not the reason plain? because it moistens their dry +temperament, and nourishes their radical moisture. Hence came the +proverb, which says, “That wine is the milk of old men<a class = "tag" +name = "tag4_2" id = "tag4_2" href = "#note4_2">2</a>.” +<span class = "pagenum">36</span> +Tirellus, in his history, declares the same thing, when he says, “That +wine is the nutriment of natural heat<a class = "tag" name = "tag4_3" id += "tag4_3" href = "#note4_3">3</a>.” Conformably to this truth that old +man acted, of whom Seneca makes mention, who being pressed to drink wine +cooled in snow, said, “That his age made him cold enough, and that he +did not desire to be more cold than he was<a class = "tag" name = +"tag4_4" id = "tag4_4" href = "#note4_4">4</a>.” Than which, certainly +no answer could be more just and true.</p> + +<p>Besides, the infirmities of an advanced age require some consolation +and diversion. Let us see what Montaigne says, who was not much given to +tippling; for he plainly says, that his gout and complexion were greater +enemies to drunkenness than his discourse. His words are these, “The +inconveniencies attending old age, which stand in need of some support +and refreshment, might with reason produce in me a desire of this +faculty, since it is as it were the last pleasure that the course of +years steals from us. The natural heat, say the boon companions, begins +first at the feet; this is the case of infancy; thence it +<span class = "pagenum">37</span> +ascends to the middle region, where it continues a long while, and there +produces in my mind the only true pleasures of the corporal life; at +last exhaling itself like a vapour, it moves upwards, till it comes to +the throat, and there it makes its last little stay<a class = "tag" name += "tag4_5" id = "tag4_5" href = "#note4_5">5</a>.”</p> + +<p>Athenæus, after Theophrastus, says, That wine drives away those +irksome inquietudes to which old people are unhappily subject<a class = +"tag" name = "tag4_6" id = "tag4_6" href = "#note4_6">6</a>. And to +conclude, the divine Plato assures us, that, “Wine is a medicine as well +for the body as the mind, the dryness of old people have great occasion +for this kind of moistening, and their severe genius of the brisk gaiety +inspired by wine, without which they would not be able to perform their +part in the concert, and consequently would be no longer useful members +in the commonwealth, which is no other ways supported and preserved than +by harmony.”</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note4_1" id = "note4_1" href = "#tag4_1">1.</a> +Lucret. lib. iii.</p> + +<p><a name = "note4_2" id = "note4_2" href = "#tag4_2">2.</a> +Vinum lac senum.</p> + +<p><a name = "note4_3" id = "note4_3" href = "#tag4_3">3.</a> +Vina calidi innati pabula.</p> + +<p><a name = "note4_4" id = "note4_4" href = "#tag4_4">4.</a> +Ætas meo frigore contenta est.</p> + +<p><a name = "note4_5" id = "note4_5" href = "#tag4_5">5.</a> +Essays, lib. ii. cap. 2.</p> + +<p><a name = "note4_6" id = "note4_6" href = "#tag4_6">6.</a> +Lib. xi. cap. 7.</p> +</div> + + + + +<span class = "pagenum">38</span> +<h3><a name = "chap5" id = "chap5">CHAP. V.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +THAT WINE CREATES WIT.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">A</span>s</span> wine increases the quantity of animal +spirits, by the fumes which it sends to the brain, it is easy to +comprehend that it cannot but be of great advantage to dull and heavy +wits; so that one may particularly apply to them the common proverb, +“Wine sets an edge to wit<a class = "tag" name = "tag5_1" id = "tag5_1" +href = "#note5_1">1</a>.” And the emblem of Adr. Junius, in which he +represents Bacchus as a youth with wings on, and with this inscription, +“Wine kindles wit<a class = "tag" name = "tag5_2" id = "tag5_2" href = +"#note5_2">2</a>,” agrees admirably well with these people. But the +application of both proverb and emblem is no less just in relation to +all the world; for it is most certain, that the god Bacchus, by warming +the thoughts, renders them more acute, and inspires a greater plenty of +witty +<span class = "pagenum">39</span> +sallies. For “Bacchus had not the name of Lysian, or Opener, if I may +use the term, bestowed upon him for nothing but purely because he opens +the mind, by putting it into an agreeable humour, and renders it more +subtile and judicious<a class = "tag" name = "tag5_3" id = "tag5_3" href += "#note5_3">3</a>.” For this reason it is grown into a proverb, That +water-drinkers are not near so knowing as those who drink wine<a class = +"tag" name = "tag5_4" id = "tag5_4" href = "#note5_4">4</a>.</p> + +<p>Plutarch assures us, That wine collects and increases the powers of +the mind. He observes also, That it produces excellent effects on the +minds of persons, who, though naturally timid, want no penetration. +Plato maintains, as I have observed in the foregoing chapter, That wine +warms as well the mind as the body. Monsieur Hofman says a great deal +more, viz. <ins class = "notation" title = "open quote here in 1723 edition">That</ins> +experience proves, that those climates which produce +good wine, produce also people that <ins class = "notation" title = +"open quote unchanged">“have</ins> infinitely more wit than those of the +north, who drink nothing but beer. Gryllus believes, That the Greeks +were called fathers +<span class = "pagenum">40</span> +of wisdom, on account of the excellency of their wine; and, that they +lost their ancient lustre by reason of the Turks rooting out their +vines. The Heathens placed Pallas and Bacchus in the same temple, to +shew, that wine increased their wisdom, and that the Gods were +represented wiser than men, only because they drank nectar and +ambrosia.”</p> + +<p>In respect of poets the world was always so sensible of the necessity +they lay under, of having their imagination roused by wine, that nobody +ever had any good opinion of the productions of a poet that drank water, +that <i>Non est Dythyrambus si aquam bibat</i>; and wine was called the +poets great horse. “There never were any excellent poets,” says Mr. +Bayle, “that could versify, till after drinking pretty plentifully<a +class = "tag" name = "tag5_5" id = "tag5_5" href = +"#note5_5">5</a>.”</p> + +<p>And if we believe Plato, “He could never open the gates of poesy till +he was a little beyond himself. The soul can speak nothing grand, or +above the common, if it be not somewhat agitated<a class = "tag" name = +"tag5_6" id = "tag5_6" href = "#note5_6">6</a>.”</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">41</span> +<p>Horace<a class = "tag" name = "tag5_7" id = "tag5_7" href = +"#note5_7">7</a>, who knew by experience this truth, goes yet +farther.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>Nulla placere diu, nec vivere carmina possint,</p> +<p>Quæ scribuntur aquæ potoribus.</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Poor water-drinkers sing an irksome tune,</p> +<p>Short-liv’d their numbers, and their airs jejune.</p> +</div> + +<p>Ovid bewailed himself very bitterly for want of wine in his +exile.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Impetus ille sacer, qui vatum pectora nutrit</p> +<p>Qui prius in nobis esse solebat, abest.”<a class = "tag" name = +"tag5_7a" id = "tag5_7a" href = "#note5_7a">7a</a></p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>That sacred rage that feeds a poet’s breast,</p> +<p>Common to me, is now no more possest.</p> +</div> + +<p>La Motte<a class = "tag" name = "tag5_8" id = "tag5_8" href = +"#note5_8">8</a>, my beloved Frenchman, has something not +unlike it.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Loin une raison trop timide</p> +<p>Les froids poetes qu’elle guide</p> +<span class = "pagenum">42</span> +<p class = "indent">Languissent et tombent souvent.</p> +<p>Venez yvresse <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘temerarie’">temeraire</ins>,</p> +<p>Transports ignorez du <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘vulgarie’">vulgaire</ins></p> +<p class = "indent">Tels que vous m’agitiez vivant.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Away, too fearful reason, haste, be gone,</p> +<p>Those frozen poets, whom thy phantoms guide,</p> +<p>Languish, and often feebly slide,</p> +<p>Down to the lowest ebb of wretchless song,</p> +<p>Insipid notes, and lifeless numbers sing.</p> +<p>O come, sweet drunkenness, thou heady thing,</p> +<p>With transports to the vulgar herd unknown,</p> +<p>Which agitates my soul, and gives it wing.</p> +<p>With kind enthusiasms then ecstatic grown,</p> +<p>It takes unusual flights, sublimely soars,</p> +<p>Spurns the dull globe below, and endless worlds explores.</p> +</div> + +<p>One may very well apply to Bacchus, what the same gentleman says of +the graces in this ode<a class = "tag" name = "tag5_9" id = "tag5_9" +href = "#note5_9">9</a>.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Tout fleurit par vous au Parnasse,</p> +<p>Apollon languit, et nous glace,</p> +<p class = "indent">Sitot que vous l’avez quitté,</p> +<p>Mieux que les traits les plus sublimes</p> +<p>Vous allez verser sur mes rimes</p> +<p class = "indent">Le don de l’immortalité<ins class = "notation" title += "close quote missing">. </ins></p> +</div> + +<span class = "pagenum">43</span> +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p class = "indent">The sprightly influence you shed,</p> +<p>Bright constellation! makes Parnassus gay.</p> +<p class = "indent">Apollo droops and hangs his head,</p> +<p>His frozen fingers know not how to play;</p> +<p>And we his sons the sad distemper find,</p> +<p class = "indent">Which chills the fancy, and benumbs the mind,</p> +<p>When cruel you withdraw your magic ray.</p> +<p class = "indent">You finely paint on ev’ry rhyme</p> +<p class = "indent">Features most noble and sublime,</p> +<p class = "indent">Resplendent all the images,</p> +<p class = "indent">In rich immortal draperies.</p> +<p>You give me colours that can never die,</p> +<p>But baffle time, and live through all eternity.</p> +</div> + +<p>It is to wine we owe the productions of Eschylus and Anacreon, whose +muses were very chilly, till Bacchus warmed them. Aurelius, the sophist, +composed his best declamations in his cups. Herodes, called Saginatus +Orator, the fattened Orator, never talked better, than after drinking +pretty plentifully. And according to Horace, this was the case with +Ennius.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Ennius ipse pater nunquam nisi potus ad arma</p> +<p>Prosiluit dicenda <span class = +"dash">——————</span> <a class = +"tag" name = "tag5_10" id = "tag5_10" href = "#note5_10">10</a>.”</p> +</div> + +<span class = "pagenum">44</span> +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Ennius himself ne’er sung of arms,</p> +<p>Martial exploits and wars alarms,</p> +<p>Till the good father’s face did shine,</p> +<p>Enrich’d with ruby beams of wine.</p> +</div> + +<p>Alcæus, the famous poet, never sat down to compose tragedy till he +was tipsy. The disciples of the great Paracelsus took the opportunity, +when he was fuddled, to make him dictate. The venerable Messire Francis +Rabelais composed over the bottle the acts and jests of Gargantua, and +his son Pantagruel, a work which gained him such great reputation. +“Pontius de Thiard, bishop of Chalons sur Saone, had greater obligations +to Bacchus than Apollo for his good verses; who, not reckoning what wine +he drank all day long, never slept without drinking a pretty large +bottle<a class = "tag" name = "tag5_11" id = "tag5_11" href = +"#note5_11">11</a>.” So true is it, that</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“A la fontaine ou s’enyvre Boileau</p> +<p>Le grand Corneille et le sacré troupeau</p> +<p>De ces auteurs que l’on ne trouve guere</p> +<p>Un bon rimeur doit boire a pleine éguyere,</p> +<p>S’il veut donner un bon tour au rondeau<a class = "tag" name = +"tag5_12" id = "tag5_12" href = "#note5_12">12</a>.”</p> +</div> + +<span class = "pagenum">45</span> +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>At that rich fountain where the great Boileau,</p> +<p>Corneille, Racine, to whom so much we owe,</p> +<p>Th’ immortal Dryden, and the sacred band</p> +<p>Of those bright authors, whom we cannot find,</p> +<p>Whose names, (so does oblivion’s power command,)</p> +<p>Alas! we no where know,</p> +<p>Supp’d largely to inebriate their mind.</p> +<p>Here a good versifier, fond of rhime,</p> +<p>Should swill, to make his jingling couplets chime.</p> + +<p class = "stanza"> +From hence, good natur’d B<span class = "dash">——</span>d, +arose your flame,</p> +<p>Hence your inimitable numbers came,</p> +<p>When you so prais’d his house and Buckingham.</p> +</div> + +<p>And certainly Cicero was much in the wrong, when he said, that “what +people do when they are drunk, is not done with the same approbation as +if they were sober; they hesitate, and often recall themselves, and +frame a weaker judgment of what they see<a class = "tag" name = +"tag5_13" id = "tag5_13" href = "#note5_13">13</a>.” But had he +consulted experience, he would have found that drunkenness, far from +making people fearful, inspires them with boldness and temerity.</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note5_1" id = "note5_1" href = "#tag5_1">1.</a> +Vinum acuit ingenium.</p> + +<p><a name = "note5_2" id = "note5_2" href = "#tag5_2">2.</a> +Vinum ingenii fomes.</p> + +<p><a name = "note5_3" id = "note5_3" href = "#tag5_3">3.</a> +Hist. des. vii. sag. p. 123.</p> + +<p><a name = "note5_4" id = "note5_4" href = "#tag5_4">4.</a> +Non idem sapere possunt qui aquam et qui vinum bibunt.</p> + +<p><a name = "note5_5" id = "note5_5" href = "#tag5_5">5.</a> +Resp. aux Quest. d’un Prov. t. i. ch. 12.</p> + +<p><a name = "note5_6" id = "note5_6" href = "#tag5_6">6.</a> +Sive Platoni credimus, frustra poetices fores compos sui pepulit. Non +potest grande aliquid et supra cæteros loqui nisi mota mens.</p> + +<p><a name = "note5_7" id = "note5_7" href = "#tag5_7">7.</a> +1 Ep. xix. 3.</p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note5_7a" id = "note5_7a" href = "#tag5_7a">7a.</a> +Ovid, <i>Ex Ponto</i> IV.ii.25-26.</p> + +<p><a name = "note5_8" id = "note5_8" href = "#tag5_8">8.</a> +La Motte, Ode Pind. 1.</p> + +<p><a name = "note5_9" id = "note5_9" href = "#tag5_9">9.</a> +Ode 2. Pindar.</p> + +<p><a name = "note5_10" id = "note5_10" href = "#tag5_10">10.</a> +Ep. xix. 7.</p> + +<p><a name = "note5_11" id = "note5_11" href = "#tag5_11">11.</a> +Menagiana, t. i. p. 384.</p> + +<p><a name = "note5_12" id = "note5_12" href = "#tag5_12">12.</a> +<span class = "dash">——</span> p. 189.</p> + +<p><a name = "note5_13" id = "note5_13" href = "#tag5_13">13.</a> +Ne vinolenti quidem quæ faciunt qua’ sobrii, hesitant, revocant se +interdum, usque quæ videntur, imbecillius assentiuntur. Acad. Quest. +lib. 4.</p> +</div> + + + + +<span class = "pagenum">46</span> +<h3><a name = "chap6" id = "chap6">CHAP. VI.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +THAT WINE MAKES ONE ELOQUENT.</span></h3> + + +<div class = "verse"> +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">W</span>hat</span> wretch so dull, but eloquent must +grow,</p> +<p>When the full goblets with persuasive wine,</p> +<p>Inebriate with bright eloquence divine?</p> +</div> + +<p class = "verse trans"> +Fæcundi calices quem non fecere disertum?<a class = "tag" name = +"tag6_a" id = "tag6_a" href = "#note6_a">a</a></p> + +<p>Let us make a few commentaries on this verse of Horace.</p> + +<p>We read, that “the sages of Portugal having undertaken to convert +those of Melinda, gained as much upon them by wine as by reason, which, +in the end, facilitated the conquest of the whole country<a class = +"tag" name = "tag6_1" id = "tag6_1" href = "#note6_1">1</a>.”</p> + +<p>To draw a consequence from this, we say, That one must reasonably +believe, that wine +<span class = "pagenum">47</span> +gave those sages an eloquence necessary to convert the people of +Melinda, and them a necessary penetration to discover the truth through +the thick veils of their ignorance.</p> + +<p>Books of travels farther inform us, that “the priests of the kingdom +of Tibet, whom they call Lamas, drink a good quantity of wine on their +days of fasting and devotion, that they may have, to use their own +words, the tongue prompt and ready to say their orisons<a class = "tag" +name = "tag6_2" id = "tag6_2" href = "#note6_2">2</a>.”</p> + +<p>According to this doctrine, Palingenius was much in the wrong to say, +that wine makes churchmen uncapable to perform the duties of their +function.</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Nec bene tractabit vinosus sacra sacerdos<a class = "tag" name = +"tag6_3" id = "tag6_3" href = "#note6_3">3</a>.</p> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>No priest, who tipples wine that’s good,</p> +<p>Will do his duty as he should.</p> +</div> + +<p>Surely our author never conversed much with the religious. The <ins +class = "notation" title = "spelling unchanged">friers</ins> would have +told him, they never perform their office without taking a +<span class = "pagenum">48</span> +choir cup. Experto crede Roberto, as the saying is. There is no false +Latin in this, says a good monk to me once upon a time, drawing from +under his cassock a double flask. You are much in the right on’t, +brother Peter, said I, I believe as the church believes, and +so—my service to you, and here’s to the pious memory of St. +Boniface. And indeed the vehicle proved capaciously orthodox.</p> + +<p>In relation to what hath been said I shall add a remark of the famous +M. Bayle. “It cannot be denied,” says he, “that the christians of +Europe are subject to two great vices, drunkenness and lewdness. The +first of these reigns in cold countries, the other in hot. Bacchus and +Venus share these two climates between them. We find that the +reformation having divided this portion of christianity, that part which +was subject to Venus continues as it was, but the greatest part of what +was subject to Bacchus has renounced popery<a class = "tag" name = +"tag6_4" id = "tag6_4" href = "#note6_4">4</a>.”</p> + +<p>But you will say, what coherence has this remark with the matter in +question? Have a little +<span class = "pagenum">49</span> +patience, and you shall presently see the application. I say then, +that a thorough true blue hearty Protestant would conclude from this +quotation, that wine bestowed so much eloquence and penetration to these +northern people, as to put them into that happy state, to discover the +truth, and conquer all prejudices against it whatsoever. But of this +enough.</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Pon, pon; pata pon: tara rara, pon pon<a class = "tag" name = "tag6_5" +id = "tag6_5" href = "#note6_5">5</a>.</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note6_a" id = "note6_a" href = "#tag6_a">a.</a> +Horace, <i>Epistulae</i> I.v.19. (<i>Same passage as note 2:9b.</i>)</p> + +<p><a name = "note6_1" id = "note6_1" href = "#tag6_1">1.</a> +Rem. sur Rabel. t. i. lib. 1. cap. 5.</p> + +<p><a name = "note6_2" id = "note6_2" href = "#tag6_2">2.</a> +Divers. cur.</p> + +<p><a name = "note6_3" id = "note6_3" href = "#tag6_3">3.</a> +Lib. iii. p. m. 43.</p> + +<p><a name = "note6_4" id = "note6_4" href = "#tag6_4">4.</a> +Bayle Dict. t. ii. p. 1163.</p> + +<p><a name = "note6_5" id = "note6_5" href = "#tag6_5">5.</a> +Racine.</p> +</div> + + + + +<h3><a name = "chap7" id = "chap7">CHAP. VII.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +THAT WINE ACQUIRES FRIENDS, AND RECONCILES ENEMIES.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">F</span>riendship</span> is a good so precious and +valuable, and at the same time so very rare, that one cannot take too +much care in order to procure it. The most efficacious means to do this +is feasting. +<span class = "pagenum">50</span> +It is by eating and drinking together that conversation becomes more +easy and familiar; and, to use the words of Monsieur de la Mothe le +vayer, “We hold, that table communion unites people’s very souls, and +causes the strictest friendships.” Unde Philotetius Crater<a class = +"tag" name = "tag7_1" id = "tag7_1" href = "#note7_1">1</a>. And, in +reality, can any thing be more agreeable and engaging, than to take a +friendly bottle in pleasant and delightful company?</p> + +<p>And therefore Cleomedes had great reason to say, “Take away the +pleasures of the table, where we open ourselves so agreeably to each +other, and you rob us of the sweetest cordial of human life<a class = +"tag" name = "tag7_2" id = "tag7_2" href = "#note7_2">2</a>.” This was +also the sentiment of Cicero, in his Book of old Age; of Aristotle, in +his Ethics; and Plutarch, in his Questions. Let who will, then, look on +trencher friends to be false, and say with those of whom Ovid makes +mention,</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>Dum fueris felix multos numerabis amicos,</p> +<p>Tempora si fuerint nubila, solus eris.<a class = "tag" name = +"tag7_2a" id = "tag7_2a" href = "#note7_2a">2a</a></p> +</div> + +<span class = "pagenum">51</span> +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>In happy times, while riches round you flow,</p> +<p>A thousand friends their obligations own,</p> +<p>But when loud adverse winds begin to blow,</p> +<p>And darksome clouds appear, you’re left alone.</p> +</div> + +<p>Daily experience teaches us, that one of the best means to push one’s +fortune, is often to regale with those who are in credit; for, to one +that may have ruined himself by so doing, ten have made their fortunes. +We may therefore say of entertainments, that,</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Hæc res et jungit, et junctos servat amicos.<a class = "tag" name = +"tag7_2b" id = "tag7_2b" href = "#note7_2b">2b</a></p> + +<p class = "verse trans"> +These unite friends, and strictly keep them so.</p> + +<p>But what is more, wine does the office of a mediator between enemies. +Of which truth I shall instance two illustrious examples, +M. Crassus reconciled himself to Cicero at a feast; Asdrubal and +Scipio did the same on the like occasion. And one may see, in a +description which a very learned person<a class = "tag" name = "tag7_3" +id = "tag7_3" href = "#note7_3">3</a> has given of Switzerland, that +when the inhabitants of that country quarrel with one another, and come +to blows, they are +<span class = "pagenum">52</span> +immediately reconciled, by returning to their cups, and no harm ensues, +but sitting up all night, and amicably getting drunk together. The Latin +has more force in it, which I shall therefore here transcribe. <i>Quin +et si quando vehementius in se insurgunt, depositis in medium armis, +pugnis rem manibusque decernunt, sed eodem momento conveniunt, iisdemque +epulis, iisdemque poculis à quibus surrexere conciliantibus; et nullo +alio ex contentionibus damno, nisi quod innovata pocula in noctem +ducantur.</i></p> + +<p>Tacitus had said the same thing long before of the Germans.</p> + +<p>But to come nearer. The bishop of Bitonto, one of the fathers of the +Council of Trent, and a famous preacher, frequently in his sermons, +exhorting the Germans to unity, and to return to the church, made use of +this topic of friendly drinking, conjuring them thereto as undoubtedly, +by the strongest, and most efficacious argument he could make use of, by +remembering how merry and sociable heretofore they had been in their +cups.</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note7_1" id = "note7_1" href = "#tag7_1">1.</a> +Dial. 2. d’Or, Tuber. p. m. 118.</p> + +<p><a name = "note7_2" id = "note7_2" href = "#tag7_2">2.</a> +Hist. 7 Sap.</p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note7_2a" id = "note7_2a" href = "#tag7_2a">2a.</a> +Ovid, <i>Tristia</i> I.ix.5-6.<br> +The first line is more often read as:<br> +<i>Donec eris sospes</i> (or <i>felix</i>)...</p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note7_2b" id = "note7_2b" href = "#tag7_2b">2b.</a> +Horace, <i>Satire</i> I.iii.54.</p> + +<p><a name = "note7_3" id = "note7_3" href = "#tag7_3">3.</a> +Dan. Eremit. Descript. p. 416.</p> +</div> + + + +<span class = "pagenum">53</span> +<h3><a name = "chap8" id = "chap8">CHAP. VIII.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +THAT THE CUSTOM OF GETTING DRUNK IS MOST ANCIENT.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">A</span>fter</span> having displayed the good qualities of +wine and drunkenness, I come now to shew, that it is generally +received by all the world. To do this effectually I shall enter into +some particular detail, and after having remarked, <i>en passant</i>, +how the custom of fuddling is very ancient, I shall then shew, that +the primitive christians used to get drunk: I shall speak something +of the tippling of churchmen in general, afterwards I shall take a +cursory review of popes, saints, and bishops, then I shall come to kings +and emperors, and give a small catalogue of these illustrious topers; +I shall not forget the philosophers, and much less the poets, who +loved drinking. Freemasons, and other learned men, who +<span class = "pagenum">54</span> +after having wearied themselves with important studies have taken this +diversion, shall also appear upon the stage. After this I shall +enumerate the several nations that have been, and those which yet are +subject to get fuddled; whether they make use of wine for that purpose, +or such liquors as produce the same effect with wine. And from this +enumeration I shall draw some consequences in favour of drunkenness.</p> + +<p>But before I enter into this detail, I hope I shall be permitted a +general remark, which is, that my readers must not expect I should set +down a complete list of all the several sorts of topers I just now +mentioned; such an exactitude would take up too much time. Much sooner +may one reckon up what numbers die away every spring by the doctor; and +how many dispose of their maidenheads before marriage.</p> + +<p>In every different class you will find no other jolly drinkers, but +such as I have met with in my great reading, and as shall occur to my +remembrance. Neither shall I be very scrupulous in placing them +according to the strict rules of chronology, but put them down as they +present themselves to my imagination.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">55</span> +<p>If the antiquity of a custom makes it always good and laudable, +certainly drunkenness can never deserve sufficient recommendation. Every +one knows, that Noah got drunk after he had planted the vine. There are +some who pretend to excuse him, that he was not acquainted with the +strength of wine. But to this it may very well be answered, that it is +not very probable so wise a man as Noah should plant a vine without +knowing its nature and property. Besides, it is one thing to know, +whether he got drunk at all: and another, whether he had an intention to +do so.</p> + +<p>But if we give any credit to several learned persons, Noah was not +the first man that got fuddled. Father Frassen maintains, “That people +fed on flesh before the flood, and drank wine. There is no likelihood, +according to him, that men contented themselves with drinking water for +fifteen or sixteen hundred years together. It is much more credible, +that they prepared a drink more nourishing and palatable. These first +men of the world were endued with no less share of wit than their +posterity, and, consequently, wanted +<span class = "pagenum">56</span> +no industry to invent every thing that might contribute to make them +pass their lives agreeably. Jesus Christ says, that in the days of Noah, +before the Flood, men married, and gave their children in marriage. +These people, Father Frassen observes, regaled each other, and made +solemn entertainments. Now who can imagine, that they drank at those +festivals nothing but water, and fed only on fruits and herbs! Noah, +therefore, was not the inventor of that use which we make of the grape; +the most that he did, was only to plant new vines<a class = "tag" name = +"tag8_1" id = "tag8_1" href = "#note8_1">1</a>.”</p> + +<p>This good father was not singular in his opinion; another very +learned person also believed, that from the passage of Scripture above +cited, one might draw a very probable argument, that men before the +flood drank wine, and that too even to be drunk<a class = "tag" name = +"tag8_2" id = "tag8_2" href = "#note8_2">2</a>.</p> + +<p>As for Procopius of Gaza<a class = "tag" name = "tag8_3" id = +"tag8_3" href = "#note8_3">3</a>, one of the most ancient interpreters +of Scripture, he thinks it no +<span class = "pagenum">57</span> +less true, that the vine was known in the world before Noah’s time, but +he does not allow that the use of wine was known before that patriarch, +whom he believes to be the inventor of it.</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note8_1" id = "note8_1" href = "#tag8_1">1.</a> +Disq. Biblic. Journ. des Sçavans.</p> + +<p><a name = "note8_2" id = "note8_2" href = "#tag8_2">2.</a> +Jo. Chr. Becman. Annal. Hist.</p> + +<p><a name = "note8_3" id = "note8_3" href = "#tag8_3">3.</a> +Torner de Ebriet. lib. i. c. 3.</p> +</div> + + + + +<h3><a name = "chap9" id = "chap9">CHAP. IX.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +THAT THE PRIMITIVE CHRISTIANS GOT DRUNK.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">T</span>here</span> is no one that has ever so little +dipped into ecclesiastical history, but knows very well, that in the +primitive church it was a custom to appoint solemn feasts on the +festivals of martyrs. This appears by the harangue of Constantine, and +from the works of St. Gregory Nazianzen, and St. Chrysostom. People +generally got drunk at these feasts; and this excess was looked upon as +a thing that might be permitted. This evidently appears by the pathetic +complaints of St. Augustin and St. Cyprian: the former of these holy +fathers expresses himself after this manner:<span class = +"dash">——</span> +<span class = "pagenum">58</span> +“Drunken debauches pass as permitted amongst us, so that people turn +them into solemn feasts, to honour the memory of the martyrs; and that +not only on those days which are particularly consecrated to them, +(which would be a deplorable abuse to those, who look at these things +with other eyes than those of the flesh,) but on every day of the year<a +class = "tag" name = "tag9_1" id = "tag9_1" href = +"#note9_1">1</a>.”</p> + +<p>St. Cyprian, in a treatise attributed to him, says much the same +thing. “Drunkenness, says he, is so common with us in Africa, that it +scarce passes for a crime. And do we not see Christians forcing one +another to get drunk, to celebrate the memory of the martyrs<a class = +"tag" name = "tag9_2" id = "tag9_2" href = "#note9_2">2</a>!”</p> + +<p>But it was not only at these repasts that the Christians got drunk, +they did the same on several other occasions; and it was on this account +that St. Augustin wrote to his dear Alipius in these terms: “However the +corruption of manners, and the unhappiness of the times, have induced us +to wish, I do not say that people should not get drunk in +particular houses, but +<span class = "pagenum">59</span> +that they should not get drunk any where else<a class = "tag" name = +"tag9_3" id = "tag9_3" href = "#note9_3">3</a>.”</p> + +<p>Cardinal du Perron tells us, “That the Manichæans said, that the +Catholicks were people much given to wine, but that they never drank +any<a class = "tag" name = "tag9_4" id = "tag9_4" href = +"#note9_4">4</a>.”</p> + +<p>Against this charge St. Augustin no otherwise defends them, than by +recrimination. He answers, “That it was true, but that they (the +Manichæans) drank the juice of apples, which was more delicious than all +the wines and liquors in the world. And so does Tertullian, which liquor +pressed from apples, he says, was most strong and vinous.” His words +are, <i>Succum ex pomis vinosissimum</i><a class = "tag" name = "tag9_5" +id = "tag9_5" href = "#note9_5">5</a>.</p> + +<p>Here one may observe also, that the use of cider was very primitive +and antient, but as strong and delicious as it was, the Catholicks stuck +close to the juice of the grape, as what was entirely orthodox and no +wise conversant with the heretics of those days.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">60</span> +<p>But to return to these feasts just now mentioned, it is certain, that +it was not only customary for the Christians of Africa to get drunk. +They had this custom in common with the Christians of Italy, where these +kinds of repasts were forbidden by the Council of Laodicea, which was +held in the fourth century. Paulinus, however, (and I do not wonder at +it, being a poet,) has endeavoured to excuse the Christians, on pretence +that they only got drunk out of a good intention, which, say the +casuists, judges all human actions<a class = "tag" name = "tag9_6" id = +"tag9_6" href = "#note9_6">6</a>. His words are,</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p><span class = "dash">——</span> “Ignoscenda tamen puto +talia parvis</p> +<p>Gaudia quæ ducunt epulis, quia mentibus error.</p> +<p>Irrepit rudibus, nec tantæ conscia culpæ</p> +<p>Simplicitas pietate cadit, male credula sanctos</p> +<p>Perfusis halante mero gaudere sepulchris<ins class = "notation" title += "close quote missing">.<a class = "tag" name = "tag9_6a" id = +"tag9_6a" href = "#note9_6a">6a</a></ins></p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>But yet that mirth in little feasts enjoy’d,</p> +<p class = "indent">I think should ready absolution find;</p> +<p class = "indent">Slight peccadillo of an erring mind,</p> +<p>Artless and rude, of all disguises void,</p> +<p>Their simple hearts too easy to believe</p> +<p class = "indent">(Conscious of nothing ill) that saints in tombs</p> +<span class = "pagenum">61</span> +<p>Enshrin’d should any happiness perceive</p> +<p class = "indent">From quaffing cups, and wines ascending fumes,</p> +<p>Must be excus’d, since what they did they meant,</p> +<p>With piety ill plac’d, yet good intent.</p> +</div> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note9_1" id = "note9_1" href = "#tag9_1">1.</a> +Ep. 22.</p> + +<p><a name = "note9_2" id = "note9_2" href = "#tag9_2">2.</a> +Pamel. p. 416.</p> + +<p><a name = "note9_3" id = "note9_3" href = "#tag9_3">3.</a> +Ep. 29.</p> + +<p><a name = "note9_4" id = "note9_4" href = "#tag9_4">4.</a> +Perron, p. 64.</p> + +<p><a name = "note9_5" id = "note9_5" href = "#tag9_5">5.</a> +Ibid.</p> + +<p><a name = "note9_6" id = "note9_6" href = "#tag9_6">6.</a> +Quicquid agunt homines intentio judicat omne.</p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note9_6a" id = "note9_6a" href = "#tag9_6a">6a.</a> +St. Paulinus of Nola (Paulinus Nolensis), <i>possibly</i> Carmen IX. in +St. Felicem.</p> +</div> + + + + +<h3><a name = "chap10" id = "chap10">CHAP. X.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +OF CHURCHMEN.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">I</span>f</span> one formed a judgment of the manner of +Churchmen’s lives by their discourses, certainly one would take them for +models of sobriety. But there is a great deal of difference between +preaching and practising. This distinction is very solid, and daily +experience confirms it. And if those gentlemen would do themselves +justice, how many amongst them might say in particular,</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>Alas! how can I ever dare pretend,</p> +<p class = "indent">From man this ancient error to remove,</p> +<p class = "indent">Which they, ev’n to distraction, fondly love:</p> +<p>If I, who blame it, with such pain defend</p> +<span class = "pagenum">62</span> +<p>Myself from this contagious malady,</p> +<p class = "indent">This epidemic poison of the mind.</p> +<p class = "indent">Weak reason, feeble thing, of which mankind</p> +<p>So boasts, this we can only build on thee,</p> +<p>Unjust continuing still, and false and vain,</p> +<p>In our discourses loudly we complain</p> +<p>Against the passions, weakness, vice, and yet</p> +<p>Those things we still cry down, we still commit.</p> +</div> + +<p>One cannot, therefore, without indignation, hear Churchmen declaim +against drunkenness, while they themselves are such ruddy examples +of it.</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +<i>Quis tulerit Gracchos de seditione <ins class = "correction" title = +"text unchanged: error for ‘querentes’">quærentes</ins>.</i><a class = +"tag" name = "tag10_1" id = "tag10_1" href = "#note10_1">1</a></p> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>With patience who can hear west-country cudden</p> +<p>Rail against roasted beef and good plum pudden?</p> +</div> + +<p>If the law of prescription take place, one cannot dispute with them +that of fuddling with any colour of reason, for in St. Jerom’s time, the +priests were very much given to wine. This we learn from an epistle of +that father, in which he very severely reprehends them. They have +<span class = "pagenum">63</span> +been no changelings since. We read in the adages of Erasmus, that it was +a proverb amongst the Germans, that the lives of the monks consisted in +nothing but eating, drinking, and<span class = +"dash">——</span>Monachorum nunc nihil aliud est quam facere, +esse, bibere. Besides, a vast number of councils, who made most +severe canons against priests that should get drunk, evidently shew, +that they used frequently to do so. Such were the Councils of Carthage, +Agathon, the first of Tours, that of Worms, Treves, &c. To make this +more clear, we shall copy a little of what H. Stephens says on this +subject, in his apology for Herodotus:— “But to return, says he, +to these proverbs, theologal wine, and the abbots, or prelates table. +I say, that without these, one could never rightly understand this +beautiful passage of Horace, viz.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Nunc est bibendum, nunc pede libero</p> +<p>Pulsanda tellus: Nunc saliaribus</p> +<p>Ornare pulvinar Deorum</p> +<p>Tempus erit dapibus sodales.”<a class = "tag" name = "tag10_1a" id = +"tag10_1a" href = "#note10_1a">1a</a></p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>“Come, boys, <ins class = "notation" title = "text unchanged (no apostrophe)">lets</ins> put the flowing goblet round,</p> +<p>Drink hard, and with brisk measures beat the ground.</p> +<span class = "pagenum">64</span> +<p>The tables of the gods now bright shall shine</p> +<p class = "indent">With cheer luxurious, fit for mouths of priests,</p> +<p class = "indent">When holy epicures become your guests,</p> +<p>And venerably quaff large cups of wine.”</p> +</div> + +<p><ins class = "notation" title = "open quote missing">Nor</ins> this +other,</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Absumet hæres cæcuba dignior</p> +<p>Servata centum clavibus: & mero</p> +<p>Tinget pavimentum superbo</p> +<p>Pontificum potiore cænis.”<a class = "tag" name = "tag10_1b" id = +"tag10_1b" href = "#note10_1b">1b</a></p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>“A worthy heir shall then with joy unbind</p> +<p>Cæcubian, by a hundred locks confin’d,</p> +<p>And tinge with better wines the ground,</p> +<p>Than e’er at feasts pontifical are found.”</p> +</div> + +<p>“You see how necessary these proverbs are, to let us into the true +understanding of these two passages of this poet. Here follows, word for +word, what a certain gloss says of the last of them, <i>Mero dicit +potiore (meliore) cænis pontificum, quam quo pontifices in cænis suis, +quæ semper sumtuosissimæ fuerunt, unde nunc theologicum dicunt vinum, +usi sunt</i>. That is, with better wine than that which the chief +priests +<span class = "pagenum">65</span> +used at their suppers, which were always most sumptuous and expensive, +and which sort of wine we call now theological.</p> + +<p>“By this you plainly see how much attached to divines and prelates +those gentlemen are who make profession of being expositors of the +poets. But in relation to this same theologal, or theological, +I know very well that it is a great question if it should be called +<i>vinum theologale</i>, or <i>vinum theologalis per appositionem</i>; +for the wicked laity, some of them will have it, that when these good +men get tipsy they agree no otherwise than dogs and cats. But I shall +leave this dispute to be decided by the readers. And as to these two +proverbs, they put me in mind of another, and that is, an abbot’s face, +which proverb being very ancient, makes me believe that formerly the +abbots had their faces illuminated.—But without going any farther +for witnesses, I shall content myself with presenting my readers +with the following piece of antiquity, viz.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p><ins class = "correction" title = "text has ’">“</ins>Sanctus +Dominicus sit nobis semper amicus,</p> +<p>Cui canimus rostro jugiter preconia nostro</p> +<p>De cordis venis siccatis ante lagenis.</p> +<p>Ergo tuas laudes si tu nos pangere gaudes</p> +<span class = "pagenum">66</span> +<p>Tempore paschali, fac ne potu puteali</p> +<p>Conveniat uti, quod si fit undique muti</p> +<p>Semper erunt fratres qui non curant nisi ventres.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>“O good Saint Dominic, be ay propitious,</p> +<p>Whose praise we daily chirp in notes delicious</p> +<p>From all the veins of all our hearts,</p> +<p>Having toss’d up some double quarts.</p> +<p>Therefore, if’t be thy true desire,</p> +<p>We chaunt thy lauds at Easter quire.</p> +<p>Let not thy saintship think it meet</p> +<p>We drink from well tho’ ne’er so sweet,</p> +<p>Liquor unworthy priest or parson,</p> +<p>If so, your <ins class = "notation" title = "spelling unchanged">friers</ins> will hang an arse on,</p> +<p>Who nothing mind, I need not tell ye,</p> +<p>Most holy patron, but their belly.</p> +<p>So used, they’ll ev’ry soul be dumb,</p> +<p>No <i>dixit dominus</i>, but <span class = +"dash">————</span> mum.”</p> +</div> + +<p>Not unlike this is what follows:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“O monachi, vestri stomachi sunt amphora Bacchi,</p> +<p>Vos estis, Deus est testis, teterrima pestis!”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>“O monks, ye reverend drones, your guts</p> +<p>Of wine are but so many buts;</p> +<p>You are, God knows (who can abide ye?)</p> +<p>Of plagues the rankest, <i>bona fide</i>!”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note10_1" id = "note10_1" href = "#tag10_1">1.</a> +Juvenal. +<span class = "mynote"> +<i>Satire</i> II.24.</span></p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note10_1a" id = "note10_1a" href = "#tag10_1a">1a.</a> +Horace, <i>Odes</i> I.xxxvii.1-4.</p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note10_1b" id = "note10_1b" href = "#tag10_1b">1b.</a> +Horace, <i>Odes</i> II.xiv.25-28.</p> +</div> + + + + +<span class = "pagenum">67</span> +<h3><a name = "chap11" id = "chap11">CHAP. XI.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +OF POPES, SAINTS, AND BISHOPS, THAT USED TO GET DRUNK.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">A</span>fter</span> having spoken of the drunkenness of +churchmen in general, it will not, perhaps, be a thing altogether +needless, to put the whole in the clearest light, to confirm what has +been said, by the example of Popes, Saints, and Bishops, who have +practised that laudable custom of getting drunk.</p> + +<p>A little song, mentioned by H. Stephens, in <ins class = "correction" +title = "text reads ‘hi’">his</ins> apology for Herodotus, affords +matter of speculation in relation to the sobriety of sovereign +pontiffs.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Le Pape qui est a Rome,</p> +<p>Boit du vin comme un autre homme</p> +<p>Et de l’Hypocras aussi.”</p> +</div> + +<span class = "pagenum">68</span> +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>The Pope at Rome, his holiness,</p> +<p>Of wine drinks many a hearty glass,</p> +<p>And pleasant Hypocras also,</p> +<p>As any other man I trow.</p> +</div> + +<p>If one reads over the popes lives, we shall be fully convinced that +these holy fathers were no enemies to wine. Alexander the Fifth was a +great drinker, and that too of strong wines, says his own historian, +Theoderic de Neim. If one may give any credit to the letters of the king +of Spain’s ambassador to his master, Sixtus Quintus was a terrible +drunkard<a class = "tag" name = "tag11_1" id = "tag11_1" href = +"#note11_1">1</a>.</p> + +<p>And Pope Boniface instituted indulgencies for those who should drink +a cup after grace (called since St. Boniface’s cup). A plain +argument that his sanctity did not hate wine.</p> + +<p>This puts me in my mind of what I have formerly read, though the +author’s name is now slipped out of my memory, that when cardinal +Pignatelli, afterwards Innocent the Twelfth, was advanced to the papacy, +his name signifying little pots or mugs, three of which he bore for his +<span class = "pagenum">69</span> +arms; and whose mother was of the house of Caraffa, which signifies a +jug, a Frenchman made these lines:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Nous devons tous <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘boirè’">boire</ins> en repos</p> +<p>Sous le regne de ce saint pere</p> +<p><ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘Son noms’">Son +nom</ins> ses armes sont des pots</p> +<p>Une Caraffe etoit sa mere.</p> +<p>Celebrons donc avec eclat</p> +<p>Cet auguste Pontificat.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Under this holy father’s reign</p> +<p>Hang sorrow, let us ne’er complain;</p> +<p class = "indent">I think all of us should turn sots,</p> +<p>And fuddle with one another,</p> +<p class = "indent">His name, and so his arms, are pots,</p> +<p>And a gallon pot was his mother;</p> +<p class = "indent">Then let us brightly celebrate</p> +<p class = "indent">This most august Pontificate.</p> +</div> + +<p>In the main, this is nothing but a little punning or playing with +words, but it is one of those agreeable trifles that may now and then be +worth our thinking on.</p> + +<p>One may add to the number of such popes as loved fuddling, all those +who sat at Avignon; +<span class = "pagenum">70</span> +for if we believe Petrarch<a class = "tag" name = "tag11_2" id = +"tag11_2" href = "#note11_2">2</a>, the long residence that the court of +Rome made at Avignon, was only to taste the good French wines; and that +it was merely on that account they stayed so long in Provence, and +removed with so much reluctance.</p> + +<p>Let us now pass on to Saints and Bishops. I shall only instance +one of each, because I hate prolixity. The first Saint that presents +himself to me, is the renowned St. Augustin, who himself owns, that he +used to get drunk sometimes. <i>Crapula autem nonnunquam surrepit servo +tuo misereberis ut longe fiat à me.</i> Thy servant has been sometimes +crop-sick through excess of wine, have mercy on me, that it may be ever +far from me. It is true, <a class = "tag" name = "tag11_3" id = +"tag11_3" href = "#note11_3">3</a>M. Cousin maintains against my +author, M. Petit, the Journal des Sçavans, of the year 1689, 27th +June, that St. Augustin, however, never got drunk. The arguments on both +sides you may find in Bayle’s Dictionary, under the article Augustin. +But +<span class = "pagenum">71</span> +yet there are somewhere in St. Augustin these words, viz. My soul +certainly being a spirit cannot dwell in a dry place. <i>Anima mea certè +quia spiritus est, in sicco habitare non potest.</i></p> + +<p>I shall make no comment upon these words, only insert one already +made, which I take from M. Duchat in his Remarks on Rabelais<a +class = "tag" name = "tag11_4" id = "tag11_4" href = "#note11_4">4</a>. +On these words of Saint Augustin, says he, mentioned in the second part +of the Decretals, caus. 32, q. 2, c. 9, the commentator says, +“And this is an argument for the Normans, English, and Poles, that they +may drink largely, that the soul may not live in the dry. <i>Et est +argumentum pro Normannis, Anglicis, et Polonis, ut possint fortiter +bibere, ne anima habitet in <ins class = "notation" title = "close quote missing">sicco.</ins></i> +To which Peter Chatelain, a Flemish +physician, made this pleasant addition, <ins class = "notation" title = +"open quote missing">It</ins> is very probable, that the commentator was +an entire stranger to the nature of the Flemings. <i>Verisimile est +glossatorem ignorasse naturam Belgarum.</i>”</p> + +<p>And, perhaps, this argument from St. Augustine’s words, is as just as +one of a merry fellow +<span class = "pagenum">72</span> +I knew, who would prove, from St. Paul’s going to the Three Taverns<a +class = "tag" name = "tag11_5" id = "tag11_5" href = "#note11_5">5</a>, +That he loved a hearty bottle.</p> + +<p>Amongst the Bishops, I cannot instance a more illustrious example of +a great drinker than that of Pontus de Thiard. We are told<a class = +"tag" name = "tag11_6" id = "tag11_6" href = "#note11_6">6</a>, “That +this gentleman, after having repented of the sins of his youth, came to +be bishop of Chalons sur Soane; but, however, he did not renounce the +power of drinking heartily, which seemed then inseparable from the +quality of a good poet. He had a stomach big enough to empty the largest +cellar; and the best wines of Burgundy were too gross for the subtility +of the fire which devoured him. Every night, at going to bed, besides +the ordinary doses of the day, in which he would not suffer the least +drop of water, he used to drink a bottle before he slept. He enjoyed a +strong, robust, and vigorous health; to the age of fourscore<ins class = +"notation" title = "close quote missing">. </ins></p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note11_1" id = "note11_1" href = "#tag11_1">1.</a> +Thuan. p. 447.</p> + +<p><a name = "note11_2" id = "note11_2" href = "#tag11_2">2.</a> +Perron, p. 387.</p> + +<p><a name = "note11_3" id = "note11_3" href = "#tag11_3">3.</a> +Petit Nepænth, p. 137.</p> + +<p><a name = "note11_4" id = "note11_4" href = "#tag11_4">4.</a> +Liv. i. ch. 5.</p> + +<p><a name = "note11_5" id = "note11_5" href = "#tag11_5">5.</a> +Acts, cap. xxviii. v. 15.</p> + +<p><a name = "note11_6" id = "note11_6" href = "#tag11_6">6.</a> +Rep. des Lett. Febr. 1687, art. 7.</p> +</div> + + + + +<span class = "pagenum">73</span> +<h3><a name = "chap12" id = "chap12">CHAP. XII.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +A CATALOGUE OF SOME ILLUSTRIOUS TOPERS.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">S</span>ince</span>, according to Horace’s observation, +every one conforms himself to the example of the prince.</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +“Regis ad exemplum totus componitur orbis.”<a class = "tag" name = +"tag12_a" id = "tag12_a" href = "#note12_a">a</a></p> + +<p>And that, according to Seneca’s maxim, one must regulate one’s +conduct by illustrious models.</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +“Vita est instituenda illustribus exemplis.”</p> + +<p>It must not be wondered at that people so generally get drunk, since +in this they follow the examples of great kings, amongst whom are very +few that this verse of Ovid, which Guy Patin applied to Naudæus and +Gassendi, agrees with<a class = "tag" name = "tag12_1" id = "tag12_1" +href = "#note12_1">1</a>.</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +“Vina fugit gaudetque meris abstemius undis.”<a class = "tag" name = +"tag12_1a" id = "tag12_1a" href = "#note12_1a">1a</a></p> + +<span class = "pagenum">74</span> +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Flies wine abstemious, but the limpid stream,</p> +<p>Pure and unmixed, his thirsty heat subdues.</p> +</div> + +<p>And, perhaps, this is the reason, why in comedies they bestow crowns +to those that are drunk.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p><span class = "dash">—————</span> Quid +ego video</p> +<p><ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘P. S.‘">PS.</ins> Cum +coronâ ebrium pseudolum meum<a class = "tag" name = "tag12_2" id = +"tag12_2" href = "#note12_2">2</a>.</p> +</div> + +<p>And in Amphytrion, Mercury says,</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Ibo inter et capiam ornatum qui potius decet.<a class = "tag" name = +"tag12_2a" id = "tag12_2a" href = "#note12_2a">2a</a></p> + +<p>“I’ll go in and take the ornament which better becomes me.” For he +had said a little before,</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Capiam coronam in caput, assimulabo me esse ebrium.<a class = "tag" href += "#note12_2a">2a</a></p> + +<p class = "verse trans"> +I’ll put a crown upon my head, and feign myself drunk.</p> + +<p>Lipsius<a class = "tag" name = "tag12_3" id = "tag12_3" href = +"#note12_3">3</a> furnished me with these examples.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">75</span> +<p>But I should never have done, if I endeavoured to give a list of all +the kings that got drunk.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p><span class = "dash">————</span> “Quorum si +nomina quæras</p> +<p>Promptius expediam quot amaverat Hippia <ins class = "correction" +title = "text unchanged: should be ‘mœchos’">mæchos</ins>,</p> +<p>Quot themison ægros autumno occiderat uno<a class = "tag" name = +"tag12_4" id = "tag12_4" href = "#note12_4">4</a>.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p><span class = "dash">————</span> Whose names, +if you require,</p> +<p>With greater expedition could I tell,</p> +<p>To Hippia’s lust how many prostrate fell;</p> +<p>How many only in one autumn died,</p> +<p>By doctors, and their slip-slops ill applied.</p> +</div> + +<p>I shall content myself, therefore, to instance some of the most +illustrious, as they come into my mind, without observing any certain +order.</p> + +<p>Alexander the Great first offers himself to my imagination. It will +be sufficient to mention his name, without saying any more. <i>Nomen non +amplius addam.</i></p> + +<p>Cæsar, to make use of Balzac’s words, was not always the sober +destroyer of the commonwealth, and he did not at all times hate the +pleasure of drinking.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">76</span> +<p>Cambyses was also very much given to wine, as may be judged by what I +am going to say. This prince, having been told by one of his courtiers, +That the people took notice he got drunk too often, taking, some time +after, his bow and arrow, shot the son of that courtier through the +heart, saying no more than this to the father, Is this the act of a +drunkard?</p> + +<p>Darius, the first king of Persia, had these words put upon his +tomb:—</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Vinum multum bibere potui idque perferre.</p> + +<p class = "verse trans"> +I could drink much wine and bear it well.</p> + +<p>King Antigonus may come in here. Ælian reports of this prince, That +one day when he was much in drink, meeting Zeno the philosopher, whom he +had a great kindness for, he kissed him, and promised to give him +whatever he would desire. Zeno only answered very mildly, Go and ease +your stomach by vomiting, that’s all I ask of you at present.</p> + +<p>Philip, king of Macedon, got drunk sometimes; witness what a woman, +whom he had not done +<span class = "pagenum">77</span> +justice to, said to him, viz. I appeal from Philip drunk, to Philip +when sober.</p> + +<p>Dionysius<a class = "tag" name = "tag12_5" id = "tag12_5" href = +"#note12_5">5</a> the younger, tyrant of Sicily, was sometimes drunk for +nine days successively; he drank himself almost blind, and the lords of +his court, to flatter him, pretended they themselves could scarce see, +so that they neither eat nor drank but what he reached to them.</p> + +<p>Tiberius was called Biberius, because of his excessive attachment to +drinking; and, in derision, they changed his surname of Nero into +Mero.</p> + +<p>Bonosus was a terrible drinker, if one may give any credit to his own +historian, Flavius Vopiscus. He used to make ambassadors, that came to +him from foreign powers, drunk, in order, by that means, to discover +their secret instructions.</p> + +<p>Maximin<a class = "tag" name = "tag12_6" id = "tag12_6" href = +"#note12_6">6</a>, the father, drank very often a pot containing two +gallons. One might very well, therefore, have given him this +epitaph:—</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Hic jacet amphora vini.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">78</span> +<p>Trajan and Nerva, those excellent princes, took sometimes a pleasure +in getting drunk.</p> + +<p>Galerius Maximinus, who, according to Aurelius Victor, was a prince +of sweet temper, and loved men of probity and letters, had a very great +passion for wine, and frequently got drunk. Having once given orders +when he was in this condition, which he repented of when sober, he +solemnly forbad any one to obey such orders that he should give when he +should get drunk for the future.</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note12_a" id = "note12_a" href = "#tag12_a">a.</a> +Claudian, <i>De Quarto Consulatu Honorii Augusti</i> (VIII) 300.</p> + +<p><a name = "note12_1" id = "note12_1" href = "#tag12_1">1.</a> +Esprit de Pat. p. 22.</p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note12_1a" id = "note12_1a" href = "#tag12_1a">1a.</a> +Ovid, <i>Metamorphoses</i> XV.323.</p> + +<p><a name = "note12_2" id = "note12_2" href = "#tag12_2">2.</a> +Plautus. +<span class = "mynote"> +<i>Pseudolus</i> 1286-87.</span></p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note12_2a" id = "note12_2a" href = "#tag12_2a">2a.</a> +Plautus, <i>Amphitryon</i> 1007; <i>Amphitryon</i> 999.</p> + +<p><a name = "note12_3" id = "note12_3" href = "#tag12_3">3.</a> +Ant. Lect. lib. iii.</p> + +<p><a name = "note12_4" id = "note12_4" href = "#tag12_4">4.</a> +Juvenal, satire x. v. 220. +<span class = "mynote"> +i.e. 219-221.</span></p> + +<p><a name = "note12_5" id = "note12_5" href = "#tag12_5">5.</a> +Ælian, chap. 6.</p> + +<p><a name = "note12_6" id = "note12_6" href = "#tag12_6">6.</a> +J. Capitolin.</p> +</div> + + + + +<h3><a name = "chap13" id = "chap13">CHAP. XIII.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +OF PHILOSOPHERS THAT USED TO GET DRUNK.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">T</span>hough</span> the example and authority of +Philosophers prove nothing, yet one must not imagine with Boileau,</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“<span class = +"dash">————————</span> +Que sans Aristote,</p> +<p>La raison ne voit goute, et le bon sens redote.”</p> +</div> + +<span class = "pagenum">79</span> +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>That reason, void of Aristotle’s rule,</p> +<p>Insipid grows, good sense a doating fool.</p> +</div> + +<p>It is, however, very true, that we shall find ourselves wonderfully +disposed to get fuddled, when we consider that those of antiquity, for +whom we have most respect and veneration, have made no manner of +difficulty to get drunk sometimes, and have praised drunkenness not only +by their actions but discourse. This I am going plainly to make appear. +I begin with the Seven Sages of Greece, who were acknowledged as +such by all antiquity. These philosophers did not look upon drunkenness +as a thing incompatible with virtue, of which they made strict +profession. History tells us, that they drank largely at the +entertainment Periander the Tyrant, or king of Corinth, gave them.</p> + +<p>Solon, that famous, yet so rigid, legislator of the Athenians, +composed a song in the praise of wine, in which he introduced Venus and +the Muses. Seneca is of opinion, that he was suspected to be as much +given to wine as Arcesilaus. And M. Chevreau<a class = "tag" name = +"tag13_1" id = "tag13_1" href = "#note13_1">1</a> observes very well, +that “The +<span class = "pagenum">80</span> +wisdom of Solon was not of such an austerity as to frighten people, when +he said, That the ladies, wine, and the Muses, were the pleasures of +human life.”</p> + +<p>Zeno, whose philosophy was so severe, got, notwithstanding, drunk +sometimes. Being one day at an entertainment, he was asked how he came +to be so joyful, he answered, that he was like lupins, which were bitter +naturally, but grew sweet after they were moistened.</p> + +<p>Socrates, whom the oracle declared the wisest man of Greece, was, in +like manner, a very great drinker. M. Charpentier, in his +Life, tells us, That though he did not love to drink, yet when he was +forced to it, no one could come up to him; and that he had this +wonderful happiness, as not afterwards to find himself incommoded +by it.</p> + +<p>Cato, that hero of stoicism, got drunk sometimes, in order to relax +his mind, fatigued with the cares of public employment. These are the +very words of Seneca, Cato <i>vino laxabat animum curis publicis +fatigatum</i>. And the same author says elsewhere, that “People +reproached Cato with drunkenness, but that reproach was rather an honour +to him than otherwise.” <i>Catoni +<span class = "pagenum">81</span> +ebrietas objecta est, et facilius efficiet quisquis objecerit honestum +quam turpem Catonem.</i> Horace gives us the same idea of the great +Cato, in these words:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Narratur et prisci Catonis</p> +<p>Sæpe mero caluisse virtus.”<a class = "tag" name = "tag13_1a" id = +"tag13_1a" href = "#note13_1a">1a</a></p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Tradition tells, that oftentimes with wine,</p> +<p>Ev’n Cato’s virtue moisten’d, shone divine.</p> +</div> + +<p>If one knew the Scythian philosopher Anacharsis no otherwise than by +his apophthegms against wine and drunkenness, one would take him for the +soberest man in the world, but we know very well that his theory varied +very much upon this point, and no way agreed with his practice. One day +above the rest, having got drunk at an entertainment given by Lybis, +brother to Pittacus, he demanded the prize that was to be given to the +greatest drinker. With which action, when he was afterwards reproached, +he replied, “Can a man better signalize himself in battle than by +glorious wounds? and at table, than with that gaiety you call +drunkenness? Did not Homer, the +<span class = "pagenum">82</span> +wisest of your poets, make not only Agamemnon drunk, but Jupiter too, +and made nectar flow in full goblets at the table of the Gods<a class = +"tag" name = "tag13_2" id = "tag13_2" href = "#note13_2">2</a>?” Ælian<a +class = "tag" name = "tag13_3" id = "tag13_3" href = "#note13_3">3</a> +also tells us, that this philosopher drank largely at Periander’s +feasts, and alleged for an excuse, That to drink a great deal was +essential to the Scythians.</p> + +<p>Plato, another hero of antiquity, not only permitted, but commanded, +that people should get drunk at some certain times. To prove what I say, +one has no more to do than to read his laws.</p> + +<p>Seneca, who was so severe a philosopher, at least his rigid precepts +would make one think him so, thought it no harm now and then to get +drunk, and ranges drunkenness amongst the means he prescribes to +maintain the strength and vigour of the mind. I have quoted what he +says in this respect in the first and second chapter of this work.</p> + +<p>The philosopher Arcesilaus, who lived about the 120th Olympiad, might +be reckoned amongst +<span class = "pagenum">83</span> +those who loved wine, since he died by drinking too much of it unmixed. +A greater, and more convincing proof of his sincere love to the +creature could not be given.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>For he that hangs, or beats out’s brains,</p> +<p>The devil’s in him if he feigns<a class = "tag" name = "tag13_4" id = +"tag13_4" href = "#note13_4">4</a>.</p> +</div> + +<p>Xenocrates<a class = "tag" name = "tag13_5" id = "tag13_5" href = +"#note13_5">5</a>, one of the most illustrious philosophers of ancient +Greece, and of a virtue very rigid and severe, got drunk sometimes. +Ælian has put his name into the catalogue of those who loved drinking, +and could bear a good deal of liquor. Athenæus, says this philosopher, +gained the crown of gold which the tyrant of Syracuse had promised him +that should empty a certain measure of wine. Diogenes Laertius confirms +this last particular. “He had moreover acquired such an empire over his +passions, that a very beautiful courtesan (Phryne) who had laid a wager +she could subdue his virtue, lost it, though she had the liberty to lie +with him, and use all +<span class = "pagenum">84</span> +her little toyings to incite him to enjoy her.” You see here (adds Mr. +Bayle) a triumph as remarkable as that of S. Aldhelme, and +some other canonized saints, who came off victorious on such +attacks.</p> + +<p>Cicero<a class = "tag" name = "tag13_6" id = "tag13_6" href = +"#note13_6">6</a> assures us, That Stilpo of Megera, the philosopher, +a man of much wit and ability for the times he lived in, loved wine +as well as women; and, that his friends wrote this of him in his praise, +and not dishonour.</p> + +<p>Athenæus says, That the philosophers Lacides and Timon, once upon a +time, past two whole days successively in drinking. Ælian puts their +names into his catalogue of hard drinkers; to which he adds Amasis, the +lawgiver of the Egyptians.</p> + +<p>Chrysippus the philosopher, native of Solos, a town of Cilicia, +or of Tharsus, according to others, got drunk pretty often. It is said, +That some of his disciples having prevailed upon him to come to a +sacrifice, he drank so much pure wine, that he died five days +afterwards. There are other authors, however, will have it, that he +<span class = "pagenum">85</span> +died of immoderate laughter, seeing an ass eat figs out of a dish, and +upon which he commanded they should give him drink.</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note13_1" id = "note13_1" href = "#tag13_1">1.</a> +Solonem et Arcesilaum credunt indulsisse vino.</p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note13_1a" id = "note13_1a" href = "#tag13_1a">1a.</a> +Horace, <i>Odes</i> III.xxi.11-12.</p> + +<p><a name = "note13_2" id = "note13_2" href = "#tag13_2">2.</a> +Hist. Sep. Sap.</p> + +<p><a name = "note13_3" id = "note13_3" href = "#tag13_3">3.</a> +Lib. ii. 2.</p> + +<p><a name = "note13_4" id = "note13_4" href = "#tag13_4">4.</a> +Hudibras.</p> + +<p><a name = "note13_5" id = "note13_5" href = "#tag13_5">5.</a> +Bayle Dict. Art. Xenoc.</p> + +<p><a name = "note13_6" id = "note13_6" href = "#tag13_6">6.</a> +Lib. de Fab.</p> +</div> + + + + +<h3><a name = "chap14" id = "chap14">CHAP. XIV.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +OF POETS THAT USED TO GET DRUNK.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">A</span>s</span> wine is the poet’s great horse, so it +must not be wondered at, that the major part of them fuddle their noses; +for, in reality, they cannot properly be said to be mounted on their +great horses, till they have drunk pretty heartily. These gentlemen +speak then on horseback, for the discourse of poets is quite opposite to +that of orators, which Horace says, is a discourse on foot<a class = +"tag" name = "tag14_1" id = "tag14_1" href = "#note14_1">1</a>, but when +they drink nothing we can only say, that they are mounted upon.</p> + +<p>The attachment that Homer had to wine, appears +<span class = "pagenum">86</span> +in the frequent eulogiums he gives that liquor. And if we examine +Anacreon never so little, we shall find his inclinations, as well as his +verses, were divided between wine and love. As much delicacy and fine +turns as one finds in his works, an honest man cannot see without +indignation, but that they tend absolutely to debauch. One must drink, +one must love. The moments that are not employed in the pleasures of the +senses are lost. Pausanius tells us, that he saw at Athens the statue of +Anacreon, which represented him drunk and singing.</p> + +<p>The poet Philoxenus wished he had a neck as long as a crane, that he +might the longer have the pleasure of swallowing wine, and enjoy its +delicious taste.</p> + +<p>Ion, the poet of Chios, was not much more sober in respect of wine, +according to Ælian and Euripides.</p> + +<p>Horace must by no means be forgotten, whose satires derive from the +grape their sprightfulness and gaiety.</p> + +<p>Timocreon of Rhodes, a comic poet in the 75th Olympiad, was a great +drinker. Athenæus has given of him this epitaph:—</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">87</span> +<div class = "verse"> +<p>Multa bibens et multa vorans, mala plurima dicens</p> +<p>Multis hic jaceo Timocreon Rhodius.</p> +</div> + +<p>To these we may add Alceus and Eunius, of whom we have already made +mention; but what signifies this enumeration, since it is most certain, +that almost all the poets in the world, of all ages, got drunk, which +puts them under the protection of Bacchus. This made them heretofore in +Rome celebrate once a year, in the month of March, a festival in +honour to this God with solemn sacrifices. What Ovid<a class = "tag" +name = "tag14_2" id = "tag14_2" href = "#note14_2">2</a> has said on +this point puts the matter out of all doubt:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p><ins class = "correction" title = "text has single quote">“</ins>Illa +dies hæc est, qua te celebrare poetæ</p> +<p class = "indent">Si modo non fallunt tempora, Bacche, solent,</p> +<p>Festaque odoratis innectunt tempora sertis</p> +<p class = "indent">Et dicunt laudes ad tua vina tuas.</p> +<p>Inter quos memini, dum me mea fata sinebant,</p> +<p class = "indent">Non invisa tibi pars ego <ins class = "correction" +title = "text reads ‘sepæ’">sæpe</ins> fui.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>This is the day, unless the times are chang’d,</p> +<p class = "indent">That poets us’d to sing in merry lays,</p> +<span class = "pagenum">88</span> +<p>And with sweet garlands crown’d, promiscuous rang’d,</p> +<p class = "indent">To thy rich wines, great Bacchus, chaunt thy +praise.</p> +<p>With these gay chorists, when my fates were kind,</p> +<p class = "indent">Free, unreserv’d, to thee, immortal power!</p> +<p>(The pleasing object fresh salutes my mind)</p> +<p class = "indent">Without disguise a part I often bore.</p> +</div> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note14_1" id = "note14_1" href = "#tag14_1">1.</a> +Sermo pedestris.</p> + +<p><a name = "note14_2" id = "note14_2" href = "#tag14_2">2.</a> +Trist. v. 3.</p> +</div> + + + + +<h3><a name = "chap15" id = "chap15">CHAP. XV.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +OF FREE MASONS, AND OTHER LEARNED MEN, THAT USED TO GET +DRUNK.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">I</span>f</span> what brother Eugenius Philalethes, author +of Long Livers, a book dedicated to the Free Masons, says in his +Preface<a class = "tag" name = "tag15_1" id = "tag15_1" href = +"#note15_1">1</a> to that treatise, +<span class = "pagenum">89</span> +be true, those mystical gentlemen very well deserve a place amongst the +learned. But, without entering into their peculiar jargon, or whether a +man can be sacrilegiously perjured for revealing secrets when he has +none, I do assure my readers, they are very great friends to the +vintners. An eye-witness of this was I myself, at their late general +meeting at Stationers’ Hall, who having learned some of their catechism, +passed my examination, paid my five shillings, and took my place +accordingly.</p> + +<p>We had a good dinner, and, to their eternal honour, the brotherhood +laid about them very valiantly. They saw then their high dignity; they +saw what they were, acted accordingly, and shewed themselves (what they +were) men<a class = "tag" name = "tag15_2" id = "tag15_2" href = +"#note15_2">2</a>. The Westphalia hams and chickens, with good plum +pudding, not forgetting the delicious salmon, were plentifully +sacrificed, with copious libations +<span class = "pagenum">90</span> +of wine for the consolation of the brotherhood. But whether, after a +very disedifying manner their demolishing huge walls of venison pasty, +be building up a spiritual house, I leave to brother Eugenius +Philalethes to determine. However, to do them justice, I must own, +there was no mention made of politics or religion, so well do they seem +to follow the advice of that author<a class = "tag" name = "tag15_3" id += "tag15_3" href = "#note15_3">3</a>. And when the music began to play, +“Let the king enjoy his own again,” they were immediately reprimanded by +a person of great gravity and science.</p> + +<p>The bottle, in the mean while, went merrily about, and the following +healths were begun by a great man, The King, Prince and Princess, and +the Royal Family; the Church as by Law established; Prosperity to Old +England under the present Administration; and Love, Liberty, and +Science; which were unanimously pledged in full bumpers, attended with +loud huzzas.</p> + +<p>The faces then of the most ancient and most honourable fraternity of +the Free Masons, brightened with ruddy fires; their eyes illuminated, +resplendent blazed.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">91</span> +<p>Well fare ye, merry hearts, thought I, hail ye illustrious topers, if +liberty and freedom, ye free mortals, is your essential difference, +richly distinguishes you from all others, and is, indeed, the very soul +and spirit of the brotherhood, according to brother Eugenius +Philalethes<a class = "tag" name = "tag15_4" id = "tag15_4" href = +"#note15_4">4</a>. I know not who may be your alma mater, but <ins +class = "notation" title = "line-break hyphen invisible: un /doubtedly">undoubtedly</ins> Bacchus is your liber pater.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>’Tis wine, ye Masons, makes you free,</p> +<p>Bacchus the father is of liberty.</p> +</div> + +<p>But leaving the Free Masons, and their invaluable secrets, for I know +not what they are worth, come we now to speak of other men of learning, +who loved to indulge their genius with the delicious juice of the grape. +And here we need not fly to antiquity, which would swell this work into +a large volume, later times will furnish us with many a bright example. +<i>Non semper confugiamus ad vetera.</i></p> + +<p>A man of learning, after ten or twelve hours daily study, cannot do +better, than to unbend +<span class = "pagenum">92</span> +his mind in drinking plentifully of the creature; and may not such a one +say to himself these verses of the French poet:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Dois-je mal a propos secher a faire un livre</p> +<p>Et n’avoir pour tout fruit des peines que je prends</p> +<p>Que la haine de sots et les mepris des grands<a class = "tag" name = +"tag15_5" id = "tag15_5" href = "#note15_5">5</a>.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Why should I pass away my time in vain,</p> +<p>And, to compose a book, dry up my brain,</p> +<p>When all the recompense I’m like to find,</p> +<p>For all the toil and labour of my mind,</p> +<p>Is the unthinking silly ideot’s hate,</p> +<p>And the contempt and scorn of all the great</p> +</div> + +<p>I must own I would have the indefatigable labour of such a one gain +an immortal reputation after his death; but after all, to weary one’s +self all one’s life long with those views, is very chimerical. And +certainly, he that makes but little account of the honours that might +accrue to him after his death, acted like a man of sense. <i>Si venit +post fata gloria non propero</i><a class = "tag" name = "tag15_6" id = +"tag15_6" href = "#note15_6">6</a>.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">93</span> +<p>Is it not infinitely better to divert one’s self while one lives, +than to idle all one’s life away on poring upon books? Much better will +the following song become the mouth of a man of letters, which I have +transcribed out of the Mercure Galant, of the year 1711, p. 67.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“De ceux qui vivent dans l’<ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘historie’">histoire</ins>,</p> +<p>Ma <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘fois’">foi</ins> je +n’envierai le sort.</p> +<p>Nargues du Temple de <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘Memorie’">Memoire</ins></p> +<p>Ou l’on ne vit que lorsque l’on est mort.</p> +<p>J’aime bien mieux vivre pendant ma <ins class = "correction" title = +"text reads ‘vin’">vie</ins></p> +<p>Pour boire avec Silvie;</p> +<p>Car je sentirai</p> +<p>Les momens que je vivrai</p> +<p>Tant que je boirai.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Faith, I shan’t envy him, whoe’er he be,</p> +<p>That glorious lives in history;</p> +<p>Nor memory’s rich fane amuse my head,</p> +<p>Where no one lives but when he’s dead.</p> +<p>I had much rather, while I life enjoy,</p> +<p>The precious moments all employ,</p> +<p>With my lov’d Silvia, and delicious wine,</p> +<p>Both wonderful, and both divine.</p> +<p>For that I truly live, and healthy prove,</p> +<p>Is that I drink, and that I love.</p> +</div> + +<span class = "pagenum">94</span> +<p>This is exactly the same thing that Racan said to Maynard in this +ode<a class = "tag" name = "tag15_7" id = "tag15_7" href = +"#note15_7">7</a>.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Je sai, Maynard, que les merveilles</p> +<p>Qui naissent de tes longues veilles</p> +<p>Vivront autant que l’univers;</p> +<p>Mais que te sert il que ta <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘glorie’">gloire</ins></p> +<p>Eclipse au Temple de Memoire</p> +<p>Quand tu seras <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘mangè’">mangé</ins> des vers?</p> +<p>Quitte cette inutile peine,</p> +<p>Bûvons plûtôt a longue haleine</p> +<p>De ce doux jus delicieux,</p> +<p>Qui pour l’excellence précéde</p> +<p>Le bruvage que Ganimede</p> +<p>Verse dans la coupe des dieux.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p class = "indent">Maynard, I know thy thoughts express’d in rhyme,</p> +<p>Those wonders of thy bright immortal pen,</p> +<p>Shall live for ever in the minds of men,</p> +<p class = "indent">Till vast eternity shall swallow time.</p> +<p>Yet should thy glories, now so radiant bright,</p> +<p>In Memory’s rare temple lose their light;</p> +<p>Suffer eclipse, when to the worms a prey,</p> +<p>Those reptiles eat thy poor remains away.</p> +<span class = "pagenum">95</span> +<p>Does this reflection chagrin thee, my friend,</p> +<p>Thus to the useless thought decree an end?</p> +<p>Drink, and drink largely, that delicious juice,</p> +<p>The em’rald vines in purple gems produce,</p> +<p>Which for its excellence surpasses far</p> +<p class = "indent">That liquor which, to bright celestial souls,</p> +<p>Jove’s minion, Ganimede, with steady care,</p> +<p class = "indent">Richly dispenses in immortal bowls.</p> +</div> + +<p>So much for poetry, let us come to the point, and instance some +learned men, that have loved this diversion. And first, enter Erasmus, +who certainly was no enemy to wine, since he chose rather to continue +where the plague was than drink water. To prove this, I shall +instance part of a letter written to this great man by Armonius, an +Italian, and a very learned person:— “Immediately after my arrival +in England, I endeavoured to inform myself where you were, because +in your last you told me, the plague had forced you to quit Cambridge. +At length I was told for certain, that you had indeed left the town, but +retiring into a place where there was no wine, which to you being worse +than the plague, you returned thither, and where you now are. +O intrepid soldier of Bacchus, whom +<span class = "pagenum">96</span> +so eminent a danger could not compel to desert his general!” The Latin +having much more force, for the sake of those who understand that +language, I shall take the liberty to insert it, as follows:— +<i>Simul atque Anglicum solum tetigi, ubi locorum esses rogare cepi, +siquidem Cantabrigiensem pestem fugere te scripsisti. Unus tandem +sixtinus mihi dixit te quidem Cantabrigiam. Ob pestem reliquisse et +concessisse nescio quo, ubi cum vini penuria laborares, et eo carere +gravius peste duceres, Cantabrigiam repetiisse atque ibi nunc esse. +O fortem Bassarei commilitonem, qui in summo periculo ducem +deserere nolueris</i><a class = "tag" name = "tag15_8" id = "tag15_8" +href = "#note15_8">8</a>.</p> + +<p>“Daniel Heinsius loved to drink a little. One day, when he was not in +a condition to read his lectures, having got drunk the day before, some +arch wags fixed these words on the school-door:— <i>Daniel +Heinsius, non leget hodie, propter hesternam carpulam</i><a class = +"tag" name = "tag15_9" id = "tag15_9" href = "#note15_9">9</a>.”</p> + +<p>“George Sharpe, a Scotchman, professor, and vice-chancellor of +Montpelier, who died in the +<span class = "pagenum">97</span> +year 1673, on his birth-day, aged fifty-nine years, was a great +drunkard<a class = "tag" name = "tag15_10" id = "tag15_10" href = +"#note15_10">10</a>.”</p> + +<p>Barthius may also be reckoned amongst those learned topers, if what +Coloniez says be true. “I knew,” says he, “some learned men in +Holland, who spoke of Scriverius as of a man extremely amorous. +M. Vossius, amongst others, related to me one day, that Barthius +being come from Germany to Haerlaem to see Scriverius, had in his +company a lady perfectly beautiful, whom Scriverius had no sooner seen, +but he found means to make Barthius drunk, that he might entertain the +lady with greater liberty, which he accomplished. It was not, however, +so well managed, but Barthius coming to himself had some reason to +suspect what had past, which grew so much upon him, that he took the +lady along with him in a rage, and drowned her in the Rhine<a class = +"tag" name = "tag15_11" id = "tag15_11" href = "#note15_11">11</a>.”</p> + +<p>Scaliger treats as a drunkard, John Kuklin, a calvinist +minister, native of Hesse, and a very learned man<a class = "tag" name = +"tag15_12" id = "tag15_12" href = "#note15_12">12</a>.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">98</span> +<p>“Nicolas de Bourbon, of Bar sur l’Aube, was nephew’s son to the poet +Nicolas Bourbon, who lived in the time of Francis the First; after +having been king’s professor, then canon of Langres, made himself father +of the oratory.<span class = "dash">——</span>He was a +prodigious dry soul, and loved good wine, which made him often say, That +though he was of the French academy, yet that when he read French verses +he fancied he was drinking water.”</p> + +<p>The great Buchanan, so famous for his fine writings, was a terrible +drinker, if we may give any credit to Father Garasse. What follows is +taken out of his Doctrine Curieuse, p. 748. “I shall,” says +he, “recount to our new atheists, the miserable end of a man of their +belief and humour, as to eating and drinking. The libertine having +passed his debauched youth in Paris and Bourdeaux, more diligent in +finding out tavern bushes than the laurel of Parnassus; and being +towards the latter end of his life, recalled into Scotland, to instruct +the young prince, James VI. continuing his intemperance, he grew at last +so dropsical by drinking, that by way of jeer he said he was in labour. +<i>Vino intercute</i>, +<span class = "pagenum">99</span> +not <i>aquâ intercute</i>. As ill as he was, he would, however, not +abstain from drinking bumpers, and them too all of pure wine, as he used +to do at Bourdeaux. The physicians who had care of his health, by order +of the king, seeing the extravagant excesses of their patient, told him +roundly, and in a kind of heat, that he did all he could to kill +himself, and that, if he continued this course of life, he could not +live above a fortnight, or three weeks, longer. He desired them then to +hold a consultation amongst themselves, and let him know how long he +might live if he abstained from wine. They did so, and told him, he +might on that condition live five or six years longer. Upon which he +gave them an answer worthy his humour. Go, says he, with your regimens +and prescriptions, and know, that I had rather live three weeks, and get +drunk every day, than six years without drinking wine. And as soon as he +had thus dismissed the physicians, he caused a barrel of wine of Grave +to be placed at his bed’s head, resolving to see the bottom of it before +he died; and carried himself so valiantly in this encounter, that he +drank it up to the lees, fulfilling literally the contents of this +<span class = "pagenum">100</span> +quaint epigram of Epigonus upon a frog, who falling into a pipe of wine, +cried out,</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p class = "indent2"><span class = "greek" title = "pheu tines hudôr">φεύ τινες ὕδωρ</span></p> +<p><span class = "greek" title = "pinousi maniên sôphrona mainomenoi.">πίνουσι μανίην σώφρονα μαινόμενοι.</span> +<a class = "tag" name = "endtagA" id = "endtagA" href = +"#endnoteA">A</a></p> +</div> + +<p>“Having death and the glass between his teeth, the ministers visited +him to bring him to himself, that he might take resolution to die with +some thought and reflection; one of them especially exhorted him to +recite the Lord’s Prayer; upon which, opening his eyes, he looked very +ghastly upon the minister, And what is that, says he, that you call the +Lord’s Prayer? The standers by answered, It was the Our Father; and +that, if he could not pronounce that prayer, they desired him that at +least he would recite some christian prayer, that he might die like a +good man. For my part, replied he, I never knew any other prayer +than this,</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Cynthia prima suis miserum me cepit ocellis,</p> +<p>Contractum nullis ante cupidinibus.”<a class = "tag" name = +"tag15_12a" id = "tag15_12a" href = "#note15_12a">12a</a></p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Cynthia’s fine eyes, me wretched, first could move,</p> +<p>Before that time I knew not what was love.</p> +</div> + +<span class = "pagenum">101</span> +<p>“And scarce had he repeated ten or twelve verses of that elegy of +Propertius, but he expired, surrounded with cups and glasses, and of him +one may really say, that he vomitted his purple soul out, <i>Purpuræam +vomit ille animam</i><a class = "tag" name = "tag15_13" id = "tag15_13" +href = "#note15_13">13</a>.”</p> + +<p>I shall not vouch for the truth of this story, but you have it as I +find it; nor must it be expected that Buchanan, who was their mortal +enemy, should find any favour from the priests of the church of +Rome.</p> + +<p>Justus Lipsius got sometimes drunk; he tells us so himself, in his +Commentary on Seneca, for in that passage where the philosopher says, +that drunkenness cures some certain distempers, he makes on the word +distempers this remark following—Melancholy (we know it by +experience) or cold. And in the discourses which he says were carried on +between Carrio Demius and Dusa, upon subjects of literature, and which +he inserts in his Ancient Lessons, they had always a glass in their +hand.</p> + +<p>Every one knows that Baudius, professor in the university of Leyden, +was a great drinker, +<span class = "pagenum">102</span> +and Culprit himself pleads guilty to the indictment. <i>Habemus rerum +confitentem.</i> Here follow his own words, which I own I cannot +translate without losing their beauty in the Latin, but the substance +is, that he defies envy itself to say any thing against him, but that +like the ancient Cato, he drank pretty liberally of the juice of the +grape. <i>Concurrant omnes</i>, says he, <i>non dicam ut ille satiricus, +Augures, Haruspices, sed quicquid est ubique hominum curiosorum, qui in +aliena acta tam sedulo iniquirunt ut ea fingant quæ nunquam fuerunt, +nihil inveniet quod in nobis carpere possit livor, quam quod interdum ad +exemplum prisci Catonii liberalitatis invitare nos patiamur, nec semper +constitimus ultra sobrietatem veterum Sabinorum</i><a class = "tag" name += "tag15_14" id = "tag15_14" href = "#note15_14">14</a>. And in another +letter he says, that the most virulent detractor could never reproach +him with any thing, but that he got sometimes drunk. <i>Malignitas +obtrectatorum nihil aliud in nobis sigillare potest quam quod nimis +commodus sum convivator, et interdum largius adspargor rore liberi +patris</i><a class = "tag" name = "tag15_15" id = "tag15_15" href = +"#note15_15">15</a>.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">103</span> +<p>Balzac made also some little debauches with some of his friends at +his country-house; and what he wrote to an officer who was then prisoner +in Germany, makes it evidently appear that he thought it lawful so to +do. “In relation,” says he, “to the German manner of drinking healths, +which you speak of with such trouble, as if they were so many Turkish +bastinadoes, I think your sobriety in that respect to be a little +too delicate, you must learn to howl when you are in company of wolves, +as the proverb has it, and not to instance great generals. Don’t you +know, that wise ambassadors of kings have heretofore got drunk for the +good of their master’s affairs, and sacrificed all their prudence and +gravity to the necessity of great men, and the custom of the country +where they were. I do not advise you here to any forbidden acts of +intemperance, but I think it no manner of harm now and then to drown +your chagrin in Rhenish wine, and to make use of that agreeable means to +shorten the time, the long continuance of which is ever extremely +tedious to prisoners<a class = "tag" name = "tag15_16" id = "tag15_16" +href = "#note15_16">16</a>.”</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">104</span> +<p>The illustrious professor of Utrecht, whose name shall live as long +as the republic of letters shall subsist, was a great drinker, and +valued himself for drinking a great deal. It is reported of this learned +man, that at the congress of the last peace, a certain German +prince, of a sovereign house, came on purpose to have a brush with our +professor, who accepted the challenge, and came off victorious, having +fairly laid his enemy speechless on the floor.</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note15_1" id = "note15_1" href = "#tag15_1">1.</a> +Vide Preface, p. 17, l. 6, where are these words, viz. Thus shall +princes love and cherish you as their most faithful children and +servants, and take delight to commune with you, inasmuch as amongst you +are found men excellent in all kinds of sciences, and who, thereby, may +make their names, who love and cherish you, immortal</p> + +<p><a name = "note15_2" id = "note15_2" href = "#tag15_2">2.</a> +Page 6, l. 9.</p> + +<p><a name = "note15_3" id = "note15_3" href = "#tag15_3">3.</a> +Page 16, l. 19.</p> + +<p><a name = "note15_4" id = "note15_4" href = "#tag15_4">4.</a> +Page 5, l. 12. Page 42, l. 13.</p> + +<p><a name = "note15_5" id = "note15_5" href = "#tag15_5">5.</a> +Oeuv. div. du Sieur D’Espreaux, p. 246.</p> + +<p><a name = "note15_6" id = "note15_6" href = "#tag15_6">6.</a> +Martial.</p> + +<p><a name = "note15_7" id = "note15_7" href = "#tag15_7">7.</a> +Parnass. Franc, p. 97.</p> + +<p><a name = "note15_8" id = "note15_8" href = "#tag15_8">8.</a> +Bayle Dict. Art. Ammon.</p> + +<p><a name = "note15_9" id = "note15_9" href = "#tag15_9">9.</a> +Menagian, t. i. p. 26.</p> + +<p><a name = "note15_10" id = "note15_10" href = "#tag15_10">10.</a> +Patinian, p. 106.</p> + +<p><a name = "note15_11" id = "note15_11" href = "#tag15_11">11.</a> +Rec. de Partic. p. 318, ed. 4.</p> + +<p><a name = "note15_12" id = "note15_12" href = "#tag15_12">12.</a> +Scaliger, p. 409.</p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note15_12a" id = "note15_12a" href = "#tag15_12a">12a.</a> +Propertius I.i.1-2.</p> + +<p><a name = "note15_13" id = "note15_13" href = "#tag15_13">13.</a> +Bayle Dict. Art. Buchan. D.</p> + +<p><a name = "note15_14" id = "note15_14" href = "#tag15_14">14.</a> +Ep. xxxiii. centur. 3.</p> + +<p><a name = "note15_15" id = "note15_15" href = "#tag15_15">15.</a> +Ep. xxvi. centur. 3.</p> + +<p><a name = "note15_16" id = "note15_16" href = "#tag15_16">16.</a> +Lett. Chois. lib. ii. lett. 5.</p> +</div> + + + + +<h3><a name = "chap16" id = "chap16">CHAP. XVI.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +OF NATIONS THAT USED TO GET DRUNK.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">T</span>he</span> plot now begins to thicken upon us, and +we are come to give an account of such nations with whom the custom of +getting drunk was heretofore very much in vogue; and of those +<span class = "pagenum">105</span> +with whom this same custom reigns at this very day.</p> + +<p>When we consult ancient histories upon this point, we learn from +Plato<a class = "tag" name = "tag16_1" id = "tag16_1" href = +"#note16_1">1</a>, that the Scythians, Thracians, Celtæ and Iberians, +were the greatest drinkers that ever were. Ælian<a class = "tag" name = +"tag16_2" id = "tag16_2" href = "#note16_2">2</a> says the same in +relation to the Thracians and Illyrians. It is also reported of the +Parthians<a class = "tag" name = "tag16_3" id = "tag16_3" href = +"#note16_3">3</a>, that the more they drink the more thirsty they +grow.</p> + +<p>Athenæus<a class = "tag" name = "tag16_4" id = "tag16_4" href = +"#note16_4">4</a> also assures us, that the Thracians were great +drinkers; and he says the same thing of the Milesians, Illyrians, +Lydians, Persians, Carthaginians, Gauls, and Spaniards.</p> + +<p>The Tapyrians were so much given to wine, that they past their whole +lives in drinking, and even bathed their bodies in wine<a class = "tag" +name = "tag16_5" id = "tag16_5" href = "#note16_5">5</a>.</p> + +<p>The Tarentins used to drink from morning till night, and got quite +drunk in public<a class = "tag" name = "tag16_6" id = "tag16_6" href = +"#note16_6">6</a>.</p> + +<p>The Leontins, a people in Sicily, were such +<span class = "pagenum">106</span> +great drunkards, that they occasioned this proverb, viz. the Leontins +are always near a cup of wine<a class = "tag" name = "tag16_7" id = +"tag16_7" href = "#note16_7">7</a>.</p> + +<p>The Byzantins must not be refused a place in this chapter. Ælian +reports<a class = "tag" name = "tag16_8" id = "tag16_8" href = +"#note16_8">8</a>, that Leonides, their general, being besieged, and +unable to make his men keep their posts, which they quitted every moment +to go and get drunk at the taverns, he immediately gave orders that the +vintners should repair with all their liquors to the ramparts, by which +stratagem he kept them to their duty.</p> + +<p>But as it may be said that the nations we have already mentioned were +all barbarous, we shall, for that reason, verify what Montaigne says, +that amongst nations the best regulated, and most polite, this essay of +drinking deep was very much in use<a class = "tag" name = "tag16_9" id = +"tag16_9" href = "#note16_9">9</a>.</p> + +<p>The Greeks, whom one may look upon as the only nation of the world +for politeness and good sense, are a proof of what I advance. They +<span class = "pagenum">107</span> +celebrated the feasts of Bacchus with a great deal of solemnity; it is +from them that Pergræcari, of which every one knows the signification, +is derived. Ælian assures us, that they were so very luxurious, that +they put perfumed oils into their wine, which they called wine of +myrrh.</p> + +<p>The Romans had also a very strong passion for wine, so that at Rome +there were frequently very great seditions for want of it. <i>Seditiones +sunt concitatæ graves ob inopiam vini</i><a class = "tag" name = +"tag16_10" id = "tag16_10" href = "#note16_10">10</a>, says Ammianus +Marcellinus, in the Life of Constantius and Gallus; and in the reign of +Constantius only, the same historian says, there was a sedition also +upon that very account.</p> + +<p>Titus Livius tells us, that the Clusians passed the Alps, and came to +inhabit the country that the Etrurians possessed before, to have the +pleasure of drinking wine<a class = "tag" name = "tag16_11" id = +"tag16_11" href = "#note16_11">11</a>.</p> + +<p>Let us now descend to some nations, with whom, at present, this +custom of getting drunk is received.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">108</span> +<p>Sir Paul Ricaut<a class = "tag" name = "tag16_12" id = "tag16_12" +href = "#note16_12">12</a> assures us, that the Turks considering that +wine rejoices the heart, and comforts the stomach, have begun to drink +it; adding, that at present there are only a few (ulamah) ecclesiastical +hypocrites or some ignorant bigots, or superannuated people, that +abstain from that liquor; but at the same time drunkenness is grown very +common amongst them.</p> + +<p>M. Du Mont confirms this truth, “As to wine,” says he, “though it be +as expressly forbidden as swine’s flesh, it is nevertheless very certain +that a great many Mahometans transgress that precept; and the justest +thing that I can say in that respect is, that abstinence from wine is +observed there almost after the same manner as Lent in France<a class = +"tag" name = "tag16_13" id = "tag16_13" href = "#note16_13">13</a>.”</p> + +<p>The Persians too drink wine to excess, though their law forbids the +use of it; and they say for an excuse, “That it is to pass away the +time, and sweeten the cares that surprise them<a class = "tag" name = +"tag16_14" id = "tag16_14" href = "#note16_14">14</a>.”</p> + +<p>The Armenians are no way behind the Persians, +<span class = "pagenum">109</span> +if we may believe Tavernier, who says, that with them, “He that treats +thinks he has handsomely acquitted himself of his entertainment, if his +guests cannot find the door when they have a mind to go home, which +would very often happen, without the assistance of their servants, who +lead them, and yet have not power enough sometimes to keep them from +falling down in the room, or in the street, which is a great +satisfaction to the host; for if he finds any of them master of so much +judgment as to guide himself, though he reels never so much, he laments +very much, as having the misfortune of spending his money to no +purpose<a class = "tag" name = "tag16_15" id = "tag16_15" href = +"#note16_15">15</a><ins class = "notation" title = "close quote missing">. </ins></p> + +<p>The Siameze drink wine very heartily when they can get it, though +every thing that may intoxicate them is forbidden by their law<a class = +"tag" name = "tag16_16" id = "tag16_16" href = "#note16_16">16</a>.</p> + +<p>Father le Clerc, author of a Relation of Gaspesia, assures us, that +drunkenness is the favourite vice of the inhabitants of that country<a +class = "tag" name = "tag16_17" id = "tag16_17" href = +"#note16_17">17</a>.</p> + +<p>The inhabitants of the coast of Africa are great +<span class = "pagenum">110</span> +drunkards; they would give all they had in the world for a glass of +brandy. At Loanda, capital of the kingdom of Angola, a firkin of +wine sells for above thirty pounds sterling. They love it extremely, and +they tell you a pleasant story hereupon of the great duke of Bamba, +which is a province of the king of Congo, viz. that he once refused the +crown, as he himself owned to the fathers missioners, that he might be +always near the Portuguese, and drink, by their means, sometimes a +little wine or brandy<a class = "tag" name = "tag16_18" id = "tag16_18" +href = "#note16_18">18</a>.</p> + +<p>The Muscovites love wine with a kind of fury, and it has been known, +that when a man who has drunk to excess, and can swallow no more, they +wash him soundly with it. And in Germany you are not looked upon to have +treated your guest like a friend, if you do not reduce him to that +condition, as quite to forget himself, and know not what he does<a class += "tag" name = "tag16_19" id = "tag16_19" href = +"#note16_19">19</a>.</p> + +<p>“As Georgia produces strong wines, so its inhabitants are great +drunkards, the strongest liquors is what they love most; and at their +<span class = "pagenum">111</span> +entertainments they drink more brandy than wine, women as well as men.<a +class = "tag" name = "tag16_20" id = "tag16_20" href = +"#note16_20">20</a>”</p> + +<p>Sir John Chardin<a class = "tag" name = "tag16_21" id = "tag16_21" +href = "#note16_21">21</a> assures us, That there is no country in the +world where they drink so much wine, and more excellent, than they do at +Georgia; adding, that the Georgians are great drunkards, and that the +clergy get drunk as well as the laity.</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Like people like priest.</p> + +<p class = "verse trans"> +Quales populus talis sacerdos.</p> + +<p>We have taken care not to forget Germany. <i>Vocabitur hæc quoque +votis.</i> Which we reserve to the next chapter.</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note16_1" id = "note16_1" href = "#tag16_1">1.</a> +Lips. cent. 3, ep. li.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_2" id = "note16_2" href = "#tag16_2">2.</a> +Lib. ii. cap. 15.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_3" id = "note16_3" href = "#tag16_3">3.</a> +Erasm. Adag.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_4" id = "note16_4" href = "#tag16_4">4.</a> +Lib. x. cap. 10.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_5" id = "note16_5" href = "#tag16_5">5.</a> +Ælian, lib. iii. cap. 13.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_6" id = "note16_6" href = "#tag16_6">6.</a> +Lib. xii.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_7" id = "note16_7" href = "#tag16_7">7.</a> +Forner de Ebriet. lib. i. cap. 12.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_8" id = "note16_8" href = "#tag16_8">8.</a> +Lib. iii. cap. 14.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_9" id = "note16_9" href = "#tag16_9">9.</a> +Essays, l. ii. cap. 2.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_10" id = "note16_10" href = "#tag16_10">10.</a> +Hist. Aug. Script. ed. 1609. fol. p. 414, and p. 425.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_11" id = "note16_11" href = "#tag16_11">11.</a> +P. 85.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_12" id = "note16_12" href = "#tag16_12">12.</a> +Hist. of the Turks.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_13" id = "note16_13" href = "#tag16_13">13.</a> +Voyage, t. 3, let. v.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_14" id = "note16_14" href = "#tag16_14">14.</a> +Tavernier’s Trav. 1. lib. v. cap. 17.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_15" id = "note16_15" href = "#tag16_15">15.</a> +Tavern. t. 1, lib. v. cap. 17.</p> <!-- fn markers 15, 17 misprinted --> + +<p><a name = "note16_16" id = "note16_16" href = "#tag16_16">16.</a> +Loubere, liv. i. ch. 9.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_17" id = "note16_17" href = "#tag16_17">17.</a> +Bibl. Univ. t. xxiii. p. 44.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_18" id = "note16_18" href = "#tag16_18">18.</a> +Viaggo del Congo.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_19" id = "note16_19" href = "#tag16_19">19.</a> +Chevrean, t. ii. p. 215.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_20" id = "note16_20" href = "#tag16_20">20.</a> +Tavern. t. 1, liv. iii. ch. 9.</p> + +<p><a name = "note16_21" id = "note16_21" href = "#tag16_21">21.</a> +Voyag. t. ii<ins class = "correction" title = ". missing">. </ins>p. +129.</p> +</div> + + + + +<span class = "pagenum">112</span> +<h3><a name = "chap17" id = "chap17">CHAP. XVII.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +OF THE DRUNKENNESS OF THE GERMANS.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">T</span>he</span> Germans were, in all times and ages, +great drinkers, and in the words of one of their own poets,</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Illic nobilitas, æterno nomine digna</p> +<p>Exhaurire cados, siccareque pocula longa<a class = "tag" name = +"tag17_1" id = "tag17_1" href = "#note17_1">1</a>.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p><span class = +"dash">———————————</span> +worthy eternal fame!</p> +<p>’Tis there a piece of true nobility,</p> +<p>To empty casks, and drink deep goblets dry.</p> +</div> + +<p>To demonstrate the origin of their bibacity, it is absolutely +necessary to go higher than Tacitus, who in the treatise which he +composed in relation to their customs and manners, thus speaks: “It is +no shame with them to pass whole days and +<span class = "pagenum">113</span> +nights in drinking; but quarrellings are very frequent amongst them, as +are usual amongst folks in that respect, and more often end at daggers +drawing than in Billingsgate. It is, however, in such meetings, that +alliances and reconciliations are formed. Here they treat of the +election of princes. In short, of all affairs, of peace and war. Those +opportunities they think most proper, inasmuch as then people shake off +all disguise of thought and reflection, and the heat of debauch engages +the soul of man to resolutions the most bold and hardy<a class = "tag" +name = "tag17_2" id = "tag17_2" href = "#note17_2">2</a>.”</p> + +<p>Owen, our countryman, has made an epitaph in honour of these our +substantial topers, the Germans; the sense of which is, that if truth +lies hidden in wine, they are the first people +<span class = "pagenum">114</span> +in the world that will find it out. His words are,</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>Si latet in vino verum, ut proverbia dicunt,</p> +<p>Invenit verum Teuto vel inveniet.</p> +</div> + +<p>Let us see now what travellers have said on this subject of the +Germans: and we will begin with M. Aug. de Thou<a class = "tag" +name = "tag17_3" id = "tag17_3" href = "#note17_3">3</a>, an eye-witness +thereof. “There is,” says he, “before Mulhausen, a large place, or +square, where, during the fair, assemble a prodigious number of people, +of both sexes, and of all ages; there one may see wives supporting their +husbands, daughters their fathers, tottering upon their horses or asses, +a true image of a Bacchanal. The public-houses are full of +drinkers, where the young women who wait, pour wine into goblets out of +a large bottle with a long neck, without spilling one drop. They press +you to drink with pleasantries the most agreeable in the world. People +drink here continually, and return at all hours to do the same thing +over again.”</p> + +<p>This pleasant sight, so new to M. de Thou, +<span class = "pagenum">115</span> +continues almost all night. And what is very particular amongst such a +great concourse of people, and such a number of drunkards, every thing +passes without dispute and quarrelling.</p> + +<p>Let us now see what the duke de Rohan says on this head, whose words +are these<a class = "tag" name = "tag17_4" id = "tag17_4" href = +"#note17_4">4</a>:— “From thence I came to Trent, a place +noways agreeable, and famous for nothing but the last council which was +held there; and if it was not that it was half Italian, (being glad of +coming out of little Barbary, and a universal tippling-house,) +I would take no notice of it; being well satisfied, that the +mathematicians of our times can no where find out the perpetual motion +so well as here, where the goblets of Germans are an evident +demonstration of its possibility—they think they cannot make good +cheer, nor permit friendship or fraternity, as they call it, with any, +without giving the seal brimful of wine, to seal it for perpetuity.”</p> + +<p>M. Misson, who was also some time in Germany, gives us yet a larger +description. “The Germans,” says he<a class = "tag" name = "tag17_5" id += "tag17_5" href = "#note17_5">5</a>, “are, as you know, +<span class = "pagenum">116</span> +strange drinkers. There are no people in the world more caressing, more +civil, more officious, but still another cup. They have terrible customs +on that article of drinking. Every thing is transacted over the bottle; +you can do nothing without drinking. One can scarce speak three words at +a visit, but you are astonished to see the collation come in, or at +least a good quantity of wine, attended with crusts of bread cut into +little pieces, upon a plate with salt and pepper, a fatal +preparative for bad drinkers. I must instruct you in the laws they +observe in their cups; laws sacred and inviolable. You must never drink +without drinking some one’s health, which having done, you must +immediately present the glass to the party you drank to, who must never +refuse it, but drink it to the last drop. Reflect a little, +I beseech you, on these customs, and you will see how, and by what +means, it is impossible to cease from drinking. After this manner one +shall never have done. It is a perpetual circle to drink after the +German fashion; it is to drink for ever. You must likewise know, that +the glasses too are respected in those countries as much as the wine is +loved; they range +<span class = "pagenum">117</span> +them all about in ranks and files; most of their rooms are wainscotted +up two thirds of the wall, and the glasses are ranged all about, like +organ pipes, upon the cornish. They begin with the small, and end with +the large ones, which are like melon glasses, and must be taken off at +one draught, when they drink any health of importance.”</p> + +<p>Let us observe here<a class = "tag" name = "tag17_6" id = "tag17_6" +href = "#note17_6">6</a>, “That it was the custom of the ancient Greeks +to drink largely after meals, and that this custom is now practised in +Germany.” This was what Æneas, and the people of his train, used to do, +as we learn from these verses of Virgil<a class = "tag" name = "tag17_7" +id = "tag17_7" href = "#note17_7">7</a>:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Postquam prima quies epulis, mensæque remotæ,</p> +<p>Crateras magnas statuunt et vina coronant<ins class = "notation" +title = "close quote missing">. </ins></p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>After the teeth had gain’d their first repose,</p> +<p class = "indent">The dishes ta’en away, the cloth remov’d,</p> +<p>The rich repast gigantic tankards close,</p> +<p class = "indent">Replete with wines, by nicest tastes approv’d.</p> +</div> + +<span class = "pagenum">118</span> +<p>It is the same thing with the Armenians, they never drink till at the +end of their meals. “After they have said grace, the dishes are removed, +in order to bring in the <ins class = "notation" title = "spelling unchanged">desert</ins>, +and then they prepare themselves to drink to excess.”</p> + +<p>We come now to the Swiss. Here follows what Daniel Eremita, +a very learned man, who published a description of their country, +has said of them. “<a class = "tag" name = "tag17_8" id = "tag17_8" href += "#note17_8">8</a>They have the same simplicity in drinking, but they +do not keep the same moderation. Wine is what they place their delight +in, and they prefer it to all things in the world. At their assemblies, +both for pleasure and business, or any other affairs, wine always makes +a party; with which, when they have overloaded their stomach, they +discharge it, and sit down to it again, and drink as they did at first. +They leave the care of their family to their wives and children, who +live with the utmost economy, in favour of their husbands, who are +continually at the tavern. They talk with glass in hand, and please +themselves in that posture to recount their acts and jests, and those of +their ancestors, as examples to posterity. +<span class = "pagenum">119</span> +They speak freely all they know, and know not what a secret is. In +short, this way of life does not only continue whole days successively, +but all the time they live.”</p> + +<p>Nor have things now taken another aspect in Switzerland. The author +of a travel lately into that country, tells us for certain, that “wine +is a singular attractive, a powerful charm, against which the Swiss +can make no manner of resistance<a class = "tag" name = "tag17_9" id = +"tag17_9" href = "#note17_9">9</a>.”</p> + +<p>Before I close this chapter I shall take notice of the Flemings, whom +we ought to look upon as making part of Germany, who, though they are +surrounded by water, take care never to drink any, which made Scaliger, +when in Holland, say to Douza,</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“In mediis habitamus aquis, quis credere possit</p> +<p>Et tamen hic nullæ, Douza, bibuntur aquæ<a class = "tag" name = +"tag17_10" id = "tag17_10" href = "#note17_10">10</a>.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Amidst the waters here we live,</p> +<p>Yet who can any credit give</p> +<p>To what I say, for, Douza, here</p> +<p>No water drinkers e’er appear.</p> +</div> + +<span class = "pagenum">120</span> +<p>Guicciardin, in his description of the low countries, accuses the +people of drinking too much. <i><ins class = "correction" title = +"printed in roman (non-italic)">Hanno</ins></i><a class = "tag" name = +"tag17_11" id = "tag17_11" href = "#note17_11">11</a>, says he, <i>poi +per la maggior parte quel vitio del bere troppo</i>. He adds, however, +“That they are in some sort excusable, because the air of the country +being for the most part of the year humid, and apt to inspire +melancholy, they could not, perhaps, make use of a more efficacious +remedy to expel this irksome, unwholesome melancholy, than wine, which, +I suppose, was Horace’s sentiment, when he said, With wine drive +away <ins class = "notation" title = "close quote missing">care.</ins> +The words in the original are, <i>Ma sono in qualche parte scusabili, +per che essendo l’aria del paese il pui del tempo humida et malinconica, +non potrieno peraventura trovar instromento piu idoneo a scacciare et +battere la malinconia odiosa et mal sana che il vino, si come pare che +accerni Horatio dicendo. Vino pellite curas</i><ins class = "notation" +title = "misplaced close quote unchanged">.”</ins></p> + +<p>But without any farther talking of the Germans, I shall end this +chapter with this necessary remark, that one need not go out of England +for +<span class = "pagenum">121</span> +examples of hard drinking, our country, God bless it, does not come +behind any other in this particular.</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note17_1" id = "note17_1" href = "#tag17_1">1.</a> +G. Brusch. Inter. p. 405.</p> + +<p><a name = "note17_2" id = "note17_2" href = "#tag17_2">2.</a> +Diem noctemque continuare nullum probium, crebræ ut inter vinolentos +rixæ, raro conviciis sepius cede et vulneribus transiguntur. Sed et de +reconciliandis invicem inimicitiis et pangendis affinitatibus et +adsciscendis principibus, de pace denique ac bello plerunque in +conviviis consultant; tanquam nullo magis tempore aut ad simplices +cogitationes patea animus, aut ad magnas incalescat. +<span class = "mynote"> +Tacitus, <i>Germania</i> 22.</span></p> + +<p><a name = "note17_3" id = "note17_3" href = "#tag17_3">3.</a> +Memoir de Thou. liv. ii. p. 63.</p> + +<p><a name = "note17_4" id = "note17_4" href = "#tag17_4">4.</a> +Voyag. p. 27. ed. 1646.</p> + +<p><a name = "note17_5" id = "note17_5" href = "#tag17_5">5.</a> +Voyage de Italie, t. i. let. 9.</p> + +<p><a name = "note17_6" id = "note17_6" href = "#tag17_6">6.</a> +Chevreana, t. ii. p. 188.</p> + +<p><a name = "note17_7" id = "note17_7" href = "#tag17_7">7.</a> +Æneid, lib. i. v. 723. +<span class = "mynote"> +i.e. 723-724.</span></p> + +<p><a name = "note17_8" id = "note17_8" href = "#tag17_8">8.</a> +Ed. viii. p. 411.</p> + +<p><a name = "note17_9" id = "note17_9" href = "#tag17_9">9.</a> +Voyag. de Rouvier, p. 89.</p> + +<p><a name = "note17_10" id = "note17_10" href = "#tag17_10">10.</a> +De admir. Holland.</p> + +<p><a name = "note17_11" id = "note17_11" href = "#tag17_11">11.</a> +Ed. fol. 1567, p. 29.</p> +</div> + + + + +<h3><a name = "chap18" id = "chap18">CHAP. XVIII.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +OF NATIONS THAT GET DRUNK WITH CERTAIN LIQUORS.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">A</span>s</span> every country does not produce wine, but, +according to the poet<a class = "tag" name = "tag18_1" id = "tag18_1" +href = "#note18_1">1</a>,</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +“Hic <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘segetis’">segetes</ins>, illic veniunt fælicius uvæ.”</p> + +<p class = "verse trans"> +<i>Here</i> wheat, more happily <i>there</i> grows the grape.</p> + +<p>Those nations, with whom there are no vines, have invented other +drinks to make themselves merry. Pliny<a class = "tag" name = "tag18_2" +id = "tag18_2" href = "#note18_2">2</a> tells us, That the western +<span class = "pagenum">122</span> +people got drunk with certain liquors made with fruits; and that these +liquors have different names in Gaul and Spain, though they produce the +same effect.</p> + +<p>Ammianus Marcellinus reports, That the Gauls having no wine in their +country, though they are very fond of it, contrive a great many sorts of +liquors, which produce the same effect as wine. <i>Vini avidum genus +adfectans ad vini similitum dinem multiplices potus.</i></p> + +<p>The Scythians had no wine, as appears by the answer of Anacharsis, +the philosopher, who being asked, If they had none that played on the +flute in Scythia, replied, That they had not so much as any wine there. +However, for all that, they got drunk with certain liquors which had the +force and strength of wine. This also we learn from these words of +Virgil:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Ipsi in defossis specubus, secura subaltâ</p> +<p>Otia agunt terrâ, congestaque robora tolasque</p> +<p>Advolvere focis ulmos, ignique dedere.</p> +<p>Hic noctem ludo ducunt, et pocula læti</p> +<p>Fermento, atque acidis imitantur vitea sorbis.”<a class = "tag" name += "tag18_2a" id = "tag18_2a" href = "#note18_2a">2a</a></p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Secure, in quiet ease, they dwell in caves</p> +<p>Deep dug in earth, and to their chimneys roll</p> +<span class = "pagenum">123</span> +<p>Whole oaks and elms entire, which flames devour.</p> +<p>Here all the night, in sport and merry glee,</p> +<p>They pass and imitate, with acid service,</p> +<p>By fermentation vinous made, the grape.</p> +</div> + +<p>The Thracians intoxicate themselves by swallowing the fumes of +certain herbs, which they cast into the fire.</p> + +<p>The Babylonians, according to Herodotus, used likewise to get drunk, +by swallowing the fumes of certain herbs that they burned.</p> + +<p>Strabo reports, That the Indians made a certain drink with sugar +canes, which made them merry; very probably not unlike what we now call +rum.</p> + +<p>Benso, in his History of America, says the same of the inhabitants of +the island of Hispaniola, and several other provinces of America.</p> + +<p>Pliny and Athenæus tell us, that the Egyptians fuddled themselves +with a drink made of barley; by this it seems the liquor of Sir John +Barley-Corn is very ancient.</p> + +<p>Leri<a class = "tag" name = "tag18_3" id = "tag18_3" href = +"#note18_3">3</a>, in his Voyage to Brazil, tells us, That the +inhabitants of that country are as great drinkers as the Germans, +Flemings, Lansquenets, +<span class = "pagenum">124</span> +Swiss: and all those merry gentleman who love carousing, and drink +supernaculum, ought to agree, that they are even with them. Their drink +is made of certain roots, which they boil and ferment, and is then +called by them in their language, <i>cahou-in</i>. The author adds, +“That he has seen them not only drink three days and nights successively +without ceasing, but that they were so very drunk, that they could +swallow no more till they had disgorged, which was in order to begin +again.</p> + +<p>“There <a class = "tag" name = "tag18_4" id = "tag18_4" href = +"#note18_4">4</a>grows in the Eastern countries certain particular +drugs, with which the inhabitants are wonderfully delighted, and which +produce a kind of drunkenness, or agreeable folly, which continues some +time. They are so much accustomed to the use of these drugs, by a long +habit, that they imagine that life must be very sad and unhappy without +them. The Indians and Persians have their bangué, the Egyptians their +bola, and the Turks their opium.”</p> + +<p>In relation to the Persians, Tavernier<a class = "tag" name = +"tag18_5" id = "tag18_5" href = "#note18_5">5</a> has these words, viz. +“They have a sort of drink to divert and make themselves merry, which +<span class = "pagenum">125</span> +they call kokemaar, made of poppy-seeds boiled. They drink it scalding +hot; and there are particular houses, called kokemaar kronè, where +people meet, and give a great deal of pleasure and delight to those who +see the ridiculous postures which this kind of liquor makes them +perform. Before it operates they quarrel with one another, and give +abusive language, without coming to blows; afterwards when the drug +begins to have its effect, then they also begin to make peace. One +compliments in a very high degree, another tells stories, but all are +extremely ridiculous both in their words and actions.” And after having +spoken of other liquors that they make use of, he adds, “It is difficult +to find in Persia a man that is not addicted to some one of these +liquors, without which they think they cannot live but very +unpleasantly.”</p> + +<p>I take no notice here of that admirable drink called Punch with us; +nor Juniper-water, (vulgarly called Geneva, a corruption from the +French word Genevre, which signifies the same thing,) nor that dram +called All-fours, which have such wonderful effects on the wretched +commonalty.</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note18_1" id = "note18_1" href = "#tag18_1">1.</a> +Virgil. +<span class = "mynote"> +<i>Georgics</i> I.54.</span></p> + +<p><a name = "note18_2" id = "note18_2" href = "#tag18_2">2.</a> +Const. et Jul. lib. 16.</p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note18_2a" id = "note18_2a" href = "#tag18_2a">2a.</a> +Virgil, <i>Georgics</i> III.376-380.</p> + +<p><a name = "note18_3" id = "note18_3" href = "#tag18_3">3.</a> +P. 126, ed. 1594.</p> + +<p><a name = "note18_4" id = "note18_4" href = "#tag18_4">4.</a> +L’Emer. des Alim. part iii. ch. 2.</p> + +<p><a name = "note18_5" id = "note18_5" href = "#tag18_5">5.</a> +T. 1, lib. v. ch. 17.</p> +</div> + + + + +<span class = "pagenum">126</span> +<h3><a name = "chap19" id = "chap19">CHAP. XIX.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +OTHER CONSIDERATIONS IN FAVOUR OF DRUNKENNESS.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">D</span>runkenness</span> will (and ought to do so) appear +excusable to people the most sober, if they would but make these two +reflections following, viz.</p> + + +<h4>I. <i>That drunkards are not generally given to lewdness.</i></h4> + +<p>Aristotle says, “That too much drinking makes one very improper for +the acts of Venus, and gives his reasons. Athenæus reports the same +thing in that passage, where he makes mention of the drunkenness of +Alexander the Great, a vice,” says he, “which, perhaps, was the +cause of his little inclination for the ladies.”</p> + +<p>Montaigne<a class = "tag" name = "tag19_1" id = "tag19_1" href = +"#note19_1">1</a> speaks very well on this article, +<span class = "pagenum">127</span> +“These,” says he, “are two things which vigorously oppose each other; +this weakens our stomach on one hand; whereas, on the other, sobriety +serves to make us more quaint and delicate in the exercise of love.”</p> + +<p>Ovid<a class = "tag" name = "tag19_2" id = "tag19_2" href = +"#note19_2">2</a> says much the same thing.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Vina parant animum veneri, nisi plurima sumas,</p> +<p>Ut stupeant multo corda sepulta mero.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Wine, not too much, inspires, and makes the mind</p> +<p>To the soft joys of Venus strong inclin’d,</p> +<p>Which buried in excess, unapt to love,</p> +<p>Stupidly lies, and knows not how to move.</p> +</div> + + +<h4>II. <i>That in those countries where they do not drink to excess, +they are very much addicted to debauchery.</i></h4> + +<p>It is certain, that in hot countries they drink a great deal less +than they do in cold, but in lieu of that, lewdness reigns much more. +Montaigne<a class = "tag" name = "tag19_3" id = "tag19_3" href = +"#note19_3">3</a>, after having observed, that they began to drink less +than they used to do, adds, “Does +<span class = "pagenum">128</span> +any one think it tends to amendment? No, indeed; but, perhaps, we are +much more given to whoring than our forefathers.”</p> + +<p>This puts me in mind of an Italian, who having reproached a German +with the drunkenness of his country, by these verses, viz.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Germani multos possunt tolerare labores</p> +<p>O utinam possint tam tolerare sitim.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>The Germans (patient) toil, inur’d to pain,</p> +<p>Oh! could they but their thirst so well sustain!</p> +</div> + +<p>The German answered him extempore in these other two:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Ut nos vitis amor, sic vos Venus improba vexat</p> +<p>Est data lex veneri Julia, nulla mero.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>As we love wine, so wicked Venus you,</p> +<p>Twas <i>this</i>, not <i>that</i>, the Julian Edict knew.</p> +</div> + +<p>In order to draw a consequence from all this, let us speak once more +of Montaigne<a class = "tag" name = "tag19_4" id = "tag19_4" href = +"#note19_4">4</a>, whose words are, “And if we cannot give any pleasure +but what costs us something, as the ancients +<span class = "pagenum">129</span> +maintain, I find this vice costs the conscience less than all the +rest, besides, it is in this respect no despicable consideration, that a +man advanced in honours, amongst three principal conveniencies of life, +that he told me he yet enjoyed, he reckoned this for one.”</p> + +<p>After having shewn, in the foregoing chapters, That drunkenness +reigns all the world over, <i>Nulla in parte mundi cessat ebrietas</i>. +Let us see what we may hence infer in its favour: and I ask, if the +agreement of so many different nations, to do one and the same thing, +proves nothing, and may not, in some measure, serve as an apology for +drunkenness? For if one considers, that the surprising variety of the +humour and temperament of men, do, notwithstanding, in nowise hinder +them from agreeing unanimously in this point, one shall have a very +strong temptation to believe, that the desire of getting drunk is an +innate quality, and we shall be confirmed in this sentiment, after +tasting experimentally the exquisite sweetness caused by +drunkenness.</p> + +<p>To conclude,</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">130</span> +<div class = "verse"> +<p>All drink, throughout the universe, ’tis plain,</p> +<p>The moon drinks up the sea, the earth the rain,</p> +<p>The sun the air, and ev’ry tree, we know,</p> +<p>The earth’s prolific juice imbibes to grow.</p> +<p>The air sups up the water too, ’tis said,</p> +<p>Why then, my dearest friends, d’ye plague my head,</p> +<p>And angry grow, because, dry soul<a class = "tag" name = "tag19_5" id += "tag19_5" href = "#note19_5">5</a>, I swill</p> +<p>New wine, drink fit for gods, and quaff my fill.</p> +</div> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note19_1" id = "note19_1" href = "#tag19_1">1.</a> +Essais, l. ii. ch. 2.</p> + +<p><a name = "note19_2" id = "note19_2" href = "#tag19_2">2.</a> +De Remed. Amor.</p> + +<p><a name = "note19_3" id = "note19_3" href = "#tag19_3">3.</a> +Essais, liv. ii. ch. 2.</p> + +<p><a name = "note19_4" id = "note19_4" href = "#tag19_4">4.</a> +Essais, liv. ii. ch. 2.</p> + +<p><a name = "note19_5" id = "note19_5" href = "#tag19_5">5.</a> +Anima mea non potest habitare in sicco. S. Aug.</p> +</div> + + + + +<h3><a name = "chap20" id = "chap20">CHAP. XX.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT DRUNKENNESS CAUSES +INFINITE EVILS.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">A</span>fter</span> having specified the good qualities of +drunkenness, let us now answer some frivolous objections that may be +made against what we have here advanced. For example, people will +<span class = "pagenum">131</span> +not be wanting immediately to object, that drunkenness has been the +cause of infinite evils.</p> + +<p>To this I answer, that it has been only the cause of these evils when +people have pushed it too far, and not observed the rules they ought to +keep in drinking, and which we shall see here prescribed by and by. For +where do we find that any one, of so many grave philosophers that used +to get drunk, made any disorders? It was for this reason that +Chrisippus’s maid said, That her master was drunk in the hams. And it +was on this very account, perhaps, that the Stoics said of their sage, +“That he was, indeed, to be overcome with wine, but would not, however, +be drunk, <i>Vino obrutum iri non ebrium tamen futurum</i>.”</p> + +<p>On the other hand, without being willing to excuse those disorders +which drunkenness has been the cause of, one may say, nevertheless, that +some of these disorders have produced effects highly advantageous. +“Suppose, for example, that Lot had not got drunk, and his two daughters +had not been possessed with the furious desire of having children, and +the fear of dying maids, you ruin, by this means, whole families, who +<span class = "pagenum">132</span> +bore a great part in the wonderful events of the children of Israel<a +class = "tag" name = "tag20_1" id = "tag20_1" href = +"#note20_1">1</a>.”</p> + +<p>Their high mightinesses the States of Holland, have eternal +obligations to drunkenness, since to this they owe, in some sort, the +establishment of their republic, which was after this manner, according +to Strada:— <a class = "tag" name = "tag20_2" id = "tag20_2" href += "#note20_2">2</a>The same day that Brederode, accompanied by above two +hundred gentlemen, had presented that famous petition to Margaret of +Parma, who then governed the Netherlands, he gave a magnificent +entertainment in the house of the Count of Culenbourg, there was no want +of drinking; and as they saw the Count of Hoocstrate, who by chance +passed that way, they began, with a great deal of joy, to give one +another the name of Gueux<a class = "tag" name = "tag20_3" id = +"tag20_3" href = "#note20_3">3</a>; upon which taking each of them all +together great glasses in their hands, they made vows and oaths to each +other by the name of Gueux, and cried out with one voice and general +applause, Long live the Gueux! After which they promised mutual +fidelity; and +<span class = "pagenum">133</span> +the Prince of Orange and the Counts of Egmont and Horn coming to them, +they began to drink again, and with great acclamation renewed vows and +wishes with these new comers, as they had already done, for the Gueux. +At last, in the heat of wine, they took those vigorous resolutions, the +effects of which were afterwards seen, which was the liberty of the +United Provinces.</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note20_1" id = "note20_1" href = "#tag20_1">1.</a> +Lett. xvi. sur la Crit. du Calvin.</p> + +<p><a name = "note20_2" id = "note20_2" href = "#tag20_2">2.</a> +Strada de Bello Belgico, part i. lib. 5.</p> + +<p><a name = "note20_3" id = "note20_3" href = "#tag20_3">3.</a> +The French word for beggars.</p> +</div> + + + + +<h3><a name = "chap21" id = "chap21">CHAP. XXI.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT THE MIRTH WHICH WINE INSPIRES IS +CHIMERICAL.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">I</span>t</span> will be objected, without doubt, that the +mirth which wine inspires is imaginary, and without any foundation, and +that, as Boileau has it,</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">134</span> +<p class = "verse"> +“Rien n’est beau que le vrai. Le vrai seul est aimable.”</p> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Nothing so beautiful as what is true,</p> +<p>That it is only lovely is its due.</p> +</div> + +<p>I very willingly own, that this joy and mirth is nothing else than +the effect of our imagination.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>Full well I’m satisfied ’tis nothing all</p> +<p>But a deceitful hope, less solid far,</p> +<p>A thousand times, than is the moving sand;</p> +<p>But are not all things so with wretched man?</p> +<p>All things soon pass away like rapid streams</p> +<p>Which hasten to the sea, where lost for ever</p> +<p>In th’ ocean’s vast abyss unknown they lie.</p> +<p>Our wisest wishes and desires are vain,</p> +<p>Abstracted vanities, gay painted bubbles,</p> +<p>That break when touch’d, and vanish into air.</p> +<p>Love, wisdom, knowledge, riches, phantoms all.</p> +</div> + +<p>But before we thoroughly refute this objection, I shall observe +by the way, that errors and illusions are necessary to the world. “<a +class = "tag" name = "tag21_1" id = "tag21_1" href = "#note21_1">1</a>In +general, indeed, it is true to say, that the world, as it is now, cannot +keep itself in the same condition, +<span class = "pagenum">135</span> +were not men full of a thousand false prejudices and unreasonable +passions; and if philosophy went about to make men act according to the +clear and distinct ideas of reason, we might, perhaps, be satisfied, +that mankind would quickly be at an end. Errors, passions, prejudices, +and a hundred other the like faults, are as a necessary evil to the +world. Men would be worth nothing for this world, were they cured, and +the greatest part of the things which now take up our time, would be +useless, as Quintilian well knew, namely, eloquence<ins class = +"notation" title = "close quote missing">. </ins></p> + +<p>Things are in this condition, and will not easily change, and we may +wait long enough for such a happy revolution, before we shall be able to +say, with Virgil,</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +“Magnus ab integro sæculorum nascitur ordo.”<a class = "tag" name = +"tag21_1a" id = "tag21_1a" href = "#note21_1a">1a</a></p> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>A series long of ages now appear,</p> +<p>Entirely new to man, before unknown.</p> +</div> + +<p>On the other hand, “<a class = "tag" name = "tag21_2" id = "tag21_2" +href = "#note21_2">2</a>If you take away from man every thing that is +chimerical, what +<span class = "pagenum">136</span> +pleasure will you leave him? Pleasures are not things so solid, as to +permit us to search them to the bottom; one must only just touch them +and away. They resemble boggy and moorish ground, we must run lightly +over them, without ever letting our feet make the least impression.”</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>No, wheresoe’er we turn our wishing eye,</p> +<p>True pleasures never can our souls enjoy.</p> +</div> + +<p>Let us add, “<a class = "tag" name = "tag21_3" id = "tag21_3" href = +"#note21_3">3</a>That if we did not help to deceive ourselves, we should +never enjoy any pleasure at all. The most agreeable things in this world +are, in the bottom, so trivial, that they would not much affect us, if +we made but never so little serious reflection upon them. Pleasures are +not made to be strictly examined into, and we are obliged every day to +pass over a great many things in them, about which it would not be +proper to make one-self uneasy.”</p> + +<p>Besides, “<a class = "tag" name = "tag21_4" id = "tag21_4" href = +"#note21_4">4</a>Is not the illusion we enjoy as +<span class = "pagenum">137</span> +valuable as the good we possess? M. Fontenelle makes a very +excellent observation hereupon in these verses<a class = "tag" name = +"tag21_5" id = "tag21_5" href = "#note21_5">5</a>:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Souvent en s’attachant a des fantômes vains</p> +<p>Notre raison seduite avec plaisir s’egare.</p> +<p><ins class = "correction" title = "line reads ‘Elle-méme joûit l’objets qu’elle a fenits’: corrected from 1714 original">Elle-même +joüit des objets qu’elle a feints</ins>.</p> +<p>Et cette illusion pour quelque tems repare</p> +<p>Le defaut des vrais biens que la Nature avare</p> +<p>N’a pas accordez aux humains.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Often enchanted by the ’luring charms</p> +<p>Of phantoms gay, our reason all seduc’d,</p> +<p>With pleasure roams thro’ endless <ins class = "notation" title = +"spelling unchanged">desarts</ins> wild,</p> +<p>Enjoys the objects which herself has form’d.</p> +<p>And this illusion for some time repairs</p> +<p>The want of real joys, which niggard Nature</p> +<p>Never has granted to unhappy man.</p> +</div> + +<p>“Enjoyment,” says Montaigne<a class = "tag" name = "tag21_6" id = +"tag21_6" href = "#note21_6">6</a>, “and possession, belong principally +to imagination, which embraces more eagerly that which it is in pursuit +of, than that which we have in our power.”</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">138</span> +<p>And certainly, one may pronounce them happy, who thus amuse +themselves, and believe themselves to be so. And indeed, when a man is +so far gone in this persuasion, every thing that is alleged to the +contrary is rejected as a fable.</p> + +<p>But to shew, at present, the reality, if one may say so, of mere +illusion, we need go no farther than the poets, who are certainly the +happiest mortals living in that respect.</p> + +<p>To instance no more, there’s Mr. <span class = +"dash">————</span>, who would fain be a rhimer, +and that is his folly; but though the poor man, for his insipid verses, +and improper epithets, richly deserves our pity, yet is he wonderfully +pleased with his performances, and with a great deal of tranquillity +mounts up Parnassus, in his own conceit, in loftier tracts than Virgil +or Theocritus ever knew. But, alas! what would become of him, if some +audacious person should dare unbind his eyes, and make him see his weak +and graceless lines, which, however smoothly they may run, are, at best, +but exquisitely dull; contain terms that have no meaning in them, and +have no other ornament, but unintelligible jingle, and +<span class = "pagenum">139</span> +initial letters? How would he curse the day which deprived his senseless +soul of that happy error that so much charmed his thoughts, and amused +his imagination?</p> + +<p>What is here said of the poets is applicable to all mankind; and so a +man, whom any one should undertake to persuade, that the mirth and joy +inspired by wine is chimerical, would do well to answer him, after the +manner as a certain madman did the doctor that cured him. The story is +this:—</p> + +<p>Once upon a time a certain bigot, otherwise a man of sense, had his +brain a little touched with whimsies, and continually fancied he heard +the heavenly music of the blessed spirits. At last a physician, very +expert in his profession, cured him, either by his skill, or by chance, +no matter which; but when he came to demand his fees; for what? says the +other, in a violent passion, by your damned slip-slops and hellish art, +you have robbed me of my Paradise, though you have cured me of my error. +This I borrow from Boileau<a class = "tag" name = "tag21_7" id = +"tag21_7" href = "#note21_7">7</a>, as he did from Horace<a class = +"tag" name = "tag21_8" id = "tag21_8" href = "#note21_8">8</a>.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">140</span> +<p>“<a class = "tag" name = "tag21_9" id = "tag21_9" href = +"#note21_9">9</a>There are,” says Pere Bouhours, writing to Bussi +Rabutin, “agreeable errors, which are much more valuable than that which +the Spaniards called desengano, and which might be called in our +language disabusement, if this word, which one of our best writers has +ventured upon, had been received.”</p> + +<p>We shall conclude with M. de Sacy<a class = "tag" name = "tag21_10" +id = "tag21_10" href = "#note21_10">10</a>, “That it is not always doing +mankind an agreeable service to dissipate their illusions.” And we say +of those who taste those satisfactions wine inspires, what M. Bayle +says very pleasantly of news-mongers who are still in hopes of what they +wish for. “They are<a class = "tag" name = "tag21_11" id = "tag21_11" +href = "#note21_11">11</a>,” says he, “the least unhappy, whatever +happens. There is a great deal of reality in their agreeable sentiments, +how chimerical soever their foundation may be; so that they do not +willingly suffer themselves to be disabused; and they sometimes say, +when one gives them reasons why they should believe the news, that makes +them so joyful, is doubtful or +<span class = "pagenum">141</span> +absolutely false, Why do you envy us the pleasures we enjoy? Do not +disturb our entertainment, or rob us of what we hold most dear. +A friend more opposite to error than charity is a very troublesome +reasoner; and if he meddles with their chimeras they will endeavour to +do him a diskindness.”</p> + +<p>We come now to another objection, and that is, that this joy inspired +by wine is but of a very short continuance; and the pleasure one tastes +in so short a space, dearly repaid with a long and tedious uneasiness. +<i>Ebrietas unius horæ hilarem insaniam longo temporis tedio +pensat.</i></p> + +<p>I own that it is a very great misery, that our pleasures are so +short: and the shorter too, the more exquisite they are. And, perhaps, +this may be a kindness to us, since some are so superlatively so, that +should they continue a much longer space, mankind could not support +themselves under these ecstacies. But be this as it will, can we make +them otherwise than they are? We must therefore have patience, and take +them as we find them. In short, there is no present happiness in the +world; all we can do, is to +<span class = "pagenum">142</span> +be contented with the present, not uneasy at what is to come, but +sweeten with an equality of soul the bitter miseries of human life.</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note21_1" id = "note21_1" href = "#tag21_1">1.</a> +Lett. xvi. sur la Crit. de Calvin, p. 516.</p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note21_1a" id = "note21_1a" href = "#tag21_1a">1a.</a> +Virgil, <i>Eclogues</i> IV.5.</p> + +<p><a name = "note21_2" id = "note21_2" href = "#tag21_2">2.</a> +Fontenelle Dial. d’Elisab. et du D. d’Alençon.</p> + +<p><a name = "note21_3" id = "note21_3" href = "#tag21_3">3.</a> +Fontenelle Dial. des Morts de Callirh. et de Paulin.</p> + +<p><a name = "note21_4" id = "note21_4" href = "#tag21_4">4.</a> +Nov. Dial. des Dieux. p. 68.</p> + +<p><a name = "note21_5" id = "note21_5" href = "#tag21_5">5.</a> +Poesies Pastor.</p> + +<p><a name = "note21_6" id = "note21_6" href = "#tag21_6">6.</a> +Essais, lib. iii. ch. 9.</p> + +<p><a name = "note21_7" id = "note21_7" href = "#tag21_7">7.</a> +Satire iv. M. la Vayer.</p> + +<p><a name = "note21_8" id = "note21_8" href = "#tag21_8">8.</a> +Lib. ii. ep. 2.</p> + +<p><a name = "note21_9" id = "note21_9" href = "#tag21_9">9.</a> +Lett. de Rab. t. iii. lett. 63.</p> + +<p><a name = "note21_10" id = "note21_10" href = "#tag21_10">10.</a> +De l’Amitié, p. 2.</p> + +<p><a name = "note21_11" id = "note21_11" href = "#tag21_11">11.</a> +Rep. aux Quest. d’un Prov. t. i. ch. 20.</p> +</div> + + + + +<h3><a name = "chap22" id = "chap22">CHAP. XXII.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT ONE LOSES ONE’S REASON IN GETTING +DRUNK.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">I</span>t</span> is objected here, that reason ought to be +the motive of all our actions; and, of consequence, that we ought not +voluntarily to lose it.</p> + +<p>To this objection I answer several ways:— First and foremost +then, I say, people do well to talk to us so much of reason, when +almost all mankind acts without reason, so that it may pass for a thing +that has no manner of existence but in the imagination. We shall prove +this from M. Bayle. “<a class = "tag" name = "tag22_1" id = +"tag22_1" href = "#note22_1">1</a>We are defined,” says he, +“a reasonable +<span class = "pagenum">143</span> +animal. A very fine definition indeed, when none of us do any thing +but without reason. I assure you, sir, that one may say of reason, +what Euripides said in the beginning of one of his tragedies, and which +afterwards was corrected, on account of the murmurings of the people. +O Jupiter, for of thee I know nothing but only the name! In +relation to the faculty I am talking of, we know nothing more of it than +that, so that we may well laugh at the complaints of that heathen +philosopher, who found that reason was a very troublesome present sent +to us by the gods for our ruin; for he supposed, that reason busied +herself in our affairs, whereas the truth of it is she never meddles in +the least with them. We act nothing but with prejudice, by instinct, by +self-love, and the sudden starts of a thousand passions, which drag and +turn our reason as they will, insomuch that one may most justly define +the principle which rules and domineers over us, a mass of +prejudices and passions which knows how to draw consequences. +I remember to have seen a man, who having never heard mention made +of the Cotta of Cicero, said nevertheless as well as he, that it would +have been +<span class = "pagenum">144</span> +much better that God had not made us reasonable, since reason poisons +all our affairs, and makes us ingenious to afflict ourselves, upon which +a certain person said to him in raillery, That he had what he desired; +that he had received so small a share of reason that it was not worth +his while to complain. For my part, I turned the thing otherwise, +that people were much in the wrong to murmur against reason, since it is +not that which guides us; and that it is not too possible it should, +without overthrowing the order which has reigned so long in the world. +The learned Erasmus, continued I, deserves the highest praise in this +respect; he has written The Praise of Folly, wherein he shews that she +sheds every where her influence, and without her, the whole world would +in a short time be turned topsy turvy. I make no doubt, sir, but +you know the merit of that work. The author speaks, though in a merry +manner, the greatest truths in the world; and I do not know whether he +believed himself as profound a philosopher, as he really was in that +ingenious satire.”</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">145</span> +<p>Secondly, This is not all, “<a class = "tag" name = "tag22_2" id = +"tag22_2" href = "#note22_2">2</a>It is sometimes necessary, for the +general good of the world, to follow prejudices, popular errors, and the +blind instincts of nature, rather than the distinct ideas of reason.” +Mr. Bayle extends himself farther on this idea in another place<a class += "tag" name = "tag22_3" id = "tag22_3" href = "#note22_3">3</a>, which +I shall here insert. “Errors,” says he, “irregular passions, and +unreasonable prejudices, are so necessary to the world to make it a +theatre of that prodigious diversity of events which make one admire his +providence. So that he who would reduce men to do nothing but according +to the distinct ideas of reason, would ruin civil society. If man was +reduced to this condition, he would have no longer any desire of glory; +and having no longer that desire, is it not true, that then mankind +would be like ice? I say, he would have no desire of glory, for +right reason shews us, that we should not make our happiness depend on +the judgment of other men; and consequently, that we should not toil and +fatigue ourselves, to make other people say this, or that, of +<span class = "pagenum">146</span> +us <span class = "dash">——</span><ins class = "correction" +title = ". missing">. </ins>The earnest desire of being praised after +death is an instinct of morality that God has impressed in the mind of +man, to keep up society. And it is certain, that earnest desire has been +the cause of the greatest events; and this ought to instruct us that the +world stands in need of a great many instincts, which, examined +according to the ideas of our reason, are ridiculous and absurd. For +there is nothing so opposite to reason as to torment ourselves in this +life, that we may be praised after we are dead, since neither +philosophy, nor experience, nor faith, nor any thing whatsover, makes it +appear, that the praises given us after death can do us any good. It +would be a thing uneasy to the heart of man, if we did nothing but +according to the light of reason; and how many designs would come to +nothing at the same time?”</p> + +<p>Thirdly, Besides, reason very often serves for nothing but to make us +wretched. “The happiness of man is never the work of reason.” Of all our +evils reason is often the worst; it frightens us in the full career of +our pleasures, and with importunate remorses comes to bridle our fleet +desires. The horrid thing reserves for us most +<span class = "pagenum">147</span> +cruel and matchless rigours. It is like a troublesome pedant one is +forced to hear, who always growls, but never touches us, and frequently +like D<span class = "dash">———</span>, and such like +venerable impertinents, lose the time they employ in predication.</p> + +<p>“If there be any happiness<a class = "tag" name = "tag22_4" id = +"tag22_4" href = "#note22_4">4</a>,” says Fontenelle, “that reason +produces, it is like that sort of health which cannot be maintained but +by the force of physic, and which is ever most feeble and uncertain.” +And in another place he cries out, “<a class = "tag" name = "tag22_5" id += "tag22_5" href = "#note22_5">5</a>Can we not have sound sight without +being at the same time wretched and uneasy? Is there any thing gay but +error? And is reason made for any thing else but to torment and kill +us?” “<a class = "tag" name = "tag22_6" id = "tag22_6" href = +"#note22_6">6</a>What cause have not men to bewail their wretched +condition? Nature furnishes them but with a very few things that are +agreeable, and their reason teaches them how to enjoy them yet less.” +“<a class = "tag" name = "tag22_7" id = "tag22_7" href = +"#note22_7">7</a>And why has Nature, in giving us passions which are +sufficient to make +<span class = "pagenum">148</span> +us happy, given us reason, that will not suffer us to be so?”</p> + +<p>It was this same troublesome reason that made Sophocles say, “<a +class = "tag" name = "tag22_8" id = "tag22_8" href = "#note22_8">8</a>It +is very sweet to live, but none of your wisdom, away with her, she +spoils life.”</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>Vaunt less thy reason, O unhappy man!</p> +<p>Behold how useless is this gift celestial,</p> +<p>For which, they say, thou should’st the rest disdain.</p> +<p>Feeble as thou wert in thy infant days,</p> +<p>Like thee she mov’d, she totter’d, and was weak.</p> +<p>When age mature arriv’d, and call’d to pleasures,</p> +<p>Slave to thy sense, she still was so to thee,</p> +<p>When fifty winters, Fate had let thee count;</p> +<p>Pregnant with thousand cares and worlds of woes,</p> +<p>The hateful issue in thy breast she threw,</p> +<p>And now grown old thou loosest her for ever.</p> +</div> + +<p>Before I end this chapter, let every body take notice, that if for +having spoken so much against reason, any one should say, that it is a +plain sign the author has none; and that there are a +<span class = "pagenum">149</span> +great many others, who, in the words of M. La Motte<a class = "tag" +name = "tag22_9" id = "tag22_9" href = "#note22_9">9</a>, will be apt to +say:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Heureux cent fois l’auteur avec qui l’on s’oublie</p> +<p>Qui nous offre un charmant poison,</p> +<p>Et nous associant a sa douce folie</p> +<p>Nous affranchit de la raison.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Happy the author, whose bewitching style,</p> +<p>Life’s tedious minutes can beguile,</p> +<p>Makes us, with him, forget uneasy care,</p> +<p>And not remember what we are.</p> +<p>Who by a charm, which no one can withstand,</p> +<p>Enchanting poison can command,</p> +<p>Can make us share his pleasing foolery,</p> +<p>And from dull reason set us free.</p> +</div> + +<p>And I shall not be wanting to answer in the words of the same +gentleman:</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“<a class = "tag" name = "tag22_10" id = "tag22_10" href = +"#note22_10">10</a><ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘Bûveur’s briser’">Bûveurs brisez</ins> +le joug d’une raison trop fiere</p> +<p>Eteignez son triste flambeau</p> +<p>D’autres enseignent l’art <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘d’augmente’">d’augmenter</ins> sa lumiere</p> +<p>Mais l’art <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘eteindre’ (only)">de l’eteindre</ins> est plus beau.”</p> +</div> + +<span class = "pagenum">150</span> +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Break, jolly topers, break th’ ungrateful chain</p> +<p class = "indent">Of reason, if she too imperious grow,</p> +<p>Of being disturb’d you never need complain,</p> +<p class = "indent">If you put out her troublesome flambeau.</p> +<p>Others may teach the art t’ increase her fires,</p> +<p>To put them out a finer art requires.</p> +</div> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note22_1" id = "note22_1" href = "#tag22_1">1.</a> +Lett. xxii, sur la Crit. du Calv. p. 756.</p> + +<p><a name = "note22_2" id = "note22_2" href = "#tag22_2">2.</a> +Lett. sur la Crit. du Calv. Lett. xvi. p.504.</p> + +<p><a name = "note22_3" id = "note22_3" href = "#tag22_3">3.</a> +Ibid. p. 535.</p> + +<p><a name = "note22_4" id = "note22_4" href = "#tag22_4">4.</a> +Dial. de M. Stuart, et P. Riccio.</p> + +<p><a name = "note22_5" id = "note22_5" href = "#tag22_5">5.</a> +Dial. de Parmen. et de Theb.</p> + +<p><a name = "note22_6" id = "note22_6" href = "#tag22_6">6.</a> +Dial. de Alexand. et Phryne.</p> + +<p><a name = "note22_7" id = "note22_7" href = "#tag22_7">7.</a> +Nouv. Dial. des Dieux, p. 99.</p> + +<p><a name = "note22_8" id = "note22_8" href = "#tag22_8">8.</a> +Moriæ Encom.</p> + +<p><a name = "note22_9" id = "note22_9" href = "#tag22_9">9.</a> +La Motte, Od. la Vanité.</p> + +<p><a name = "note22_10" id = "note22_10" href = "#tag22_10">10.</a> +Od. Thalia.</p> +</div> + + + + +<h3><a name = "chap23" id = "chap23">CHAP. XXIII.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT ONE CANNOT TRUST A MAN THAT GETS +DRUNK.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">T</span>here</span> is a proverb amongst the Jews. “<a +class = "tag" name = "tag23_1" id = "tag23_1" href = +"#note23_1">1</a><i>Ingrediente vino egreditur secretum.</i>” As the +wine goes in so the secret goes out. Seneca<a class = "tag" name = +"tag23_2" id = "tag23_2" href = "#note23_2">2</a> makes the same +objection. “As,” says he, “new wine bursts the vessel, and the heat +makes every +<span class = "pagenum">151</span> +thing go upwards, so the force of wine is such, that it brings to light, +and discovers, what is most secret and hidden.”</p> + +<p>In answer to this objection I say, that people who are naturally +secret, are not less so after drinking. “<a class = "tag" name = +"tag23_3" id = "tag23_3" href = "#note23_3">3</a>And Bacchus was not +said to be the inventor of wine, on account of the liberty of his +tongue, but because he freed our minds from disquiet, and makes them +more firm and resolute in what we undertake.”</p> + +<p>Besides, do we not see every day, people of all ranks, conditions, +and characters, get drunk, and yet we trust them with secrets, and it +very rarely happens they speak of them when they are drunk. Thus, if we +consult history, we shall learn from Seneca<a class = "tag" name = +"tag23_4" id = "tag23_4" href = "#note23_4">4</a> himself, that the +design of killing Cæsar was as well communicated to Tullius Cimber, who +was a great drinker, as to C. Cassius, who drank nothing but water. +And though L. Piso, governor of Rome, got frequently drunk, he, +notwithstanding, excellently acquitted himself of his duty. Augustus +made +<span class = "pagenum">152</span> +no manner of difficulty to give him secret instructions, bestowing on +him the government of Thrace, the conquest of which he entirely +completed. Tiberius, before he left Rome, where he was generally hated, +in order to retire into the Campania, made choice of Costus, who was +extremely given to wine, for governor of that city, to whom he +communicated such things as he dared not trust his own ministers +with.</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note23_1" id = "note23_1" href = "#tag23_1">1.</a> +Voyage de Rouvie, p. 497.</p> + +<p><a name = "note23_2" id = "note23_2" href = "#tag23_2">2.</a> +Ep. 83.</p> + +<p><a name = "note23_3" id = "note23_3" href = "#tag23_3">3.</a> +Seneca de Tranquill.</p> + +<p><a name = "note23_4" id = "note23_4" href = "#tag23_4">4.</a> +Seneca, ep. 83.</p> +</div> + + + + +<h3><a name = "chap24" id = "chap24">CHAP. XXIV.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT DRUNKENNESS MAKES ONE INCAPABLE OF +PERFORMING THE DUTIES OF CIVIL LIFE.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = "firstletter">I</span> +deny</span> this absolutely, and to prove the contrary, I say, the +Persians had a custom to deliberate on things the most serious, and of +the +<span class = "pagenum">153</span> +greatest importance, after hard drinking. Tacitus reports the same thing +of the Germans. Dampier assures us, that the same custom is practised +with the inhabitants of the Isthmus Darien. And to go higher, one finds +in Homer, that during the siege of Troy, the Greeks, in council, did eat +and drink heartily. An evident proof, that this objection is contrary to +experience. But to go farther, this same experience made the ancients +look on those who could carry a great deal of wine, as persons of a +genius very much superior to those who could not drink at all. On this +account it was, that Cyrus, in writing to the Lacedemonians the reasons +which rendered him more capable of government than his brother, amongst +other things, takes notice, that he could drink more wine than he. And +so many fine productions, for which we are obliged to the drunkenness of +the poets, make it evidently appear, that wine, far from rendering us +incapable of doing any thing that is good, rather helps and incites us +to it. This important truth we shall confirm by several examples.</p> + +<p>Plutarch relates, that Philip king of Macedon, after having conquered +the Athenians, made a +<span class = "pagenum">154</span> +feast, at which he got drunk; and that all proud with that happy +success, he nevertheless did a great many things entirely ridiculous; +but being informed that the ambassadors that the Athenians sent to him +to desire peace, wished to see him, he changed his countenance all of a +sudden, and having heard their proposals with all possible attention, +answered them with a great deal of justice.</p> + +<p>The emperor Bonosus, who Amelian said was born not to live, but to +drink, acted always with greater prudence after drinking, says Flavius +Vopiscus, after Onesimus<a class = "tag" name = "tag24_1" id = "tag24_1" +href = "#note24_1">1</a>.</p> + +<p>We have taken notice, in the foregoing chapter, that L. Piso, +governor of Rome, though he was often drunk, acquitted himself, +notwithstanding, punctually of his duty.</p> + +<p>Christiern<a class = "tag" name = "tag24_2" id = "tag24_2" href = +"#note24_2">2</a>, the fourth king of Denmark, drank like a templer, and +never king was more laborious, a greater lover of his subjects, or +more beloved by them.</p> + +<p>Scaliger<a class = "tag" name = "tag24_3" id = "tag24_3" href = +"#note24_3">3</a> says, that a German has as much +<span class = "pagenum">155</span> +reason when he is drunk, as when he has drank nothing. <i>Non minus +sapit Germanus ebrius quam sobrius.</i></p> + +<p>Montaigne<a class = "tag" name = "tag24_4" id = "tag24_4" href = +"#note24_4">4</a> speaks in his Essays, of a great lord of his time, +who, though he drank every day a prodigious quantity of wine, was, +nevertheless, equally careful in his affairs. According to which, that +which Cicero says is not generally true, viz. “That one must never +expect prudence from a man that is always drunk.” <i>Nec enim ab homine +nunquam sobrio postulanda prudentia</i><a class = "tag" name = "tag24_5" +id = "tag24_5" href = "#note24_5">5</a>.</p> + +<p>Another proof that drunkenness does not render us incapable of doing +any thing that is good, is, that it inspires people with courage, and +even makes the coward valiant. <i>Ad prelia trudit inertem.</i> +Experience confirms this truth. “We see,” says Montaigne<a class = "tag" +name = "tag24_6" id = "tag24_6" href = "#note24_6">6</a>, “that our +Germans, though drowned in wine, remember their post, the word, and +their rank.”</p> + +<p>We read in Spartien, that a certain general +<span class = "pagenum">156</span> +having been vanquished by the Saracens, his soldiers laid all the blame +of their defeat on their want of wine.</p> + +<p>The soldiers of the army of Pescennius Niger pressed earnestly for +wine, undoubtedly to make them fight the better; but he refused them in +these words, “You have the Nile,” said he, “and do you ask for wine?” In +imitation, I suppose, of the emperor Augustus<a class = "tag" name += "tag24_7" id = "tag24_7" href = "#note24_7">7</a>, who, when the +people complained of the dearness and scarcity of wine, said to them, +“My son-in-law, Agrippa, has preserved you from thirst, by the canals he +has made for you.”</p> + +<p>By what has been said it plainly appears, that wine is so far from +hindering a man from performing the duties of life, that it rather +forwards him, and is an admirable ingredient in all states and +conditions, both of peace and war, which made Horace<a class = "tag" +name = "tag24_8" id = "tag24_8" href = "#note24_8">8</a> thus bespeak +the god of wine.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Quanquam choreis aptior et jocis</p> +<p>Ludoque dictus, non sat idoneus</p> +<span class = "pagenum">157</span> +<p>Pugnis ferebaris, sed idem</p> +<p>Pacis eras mediusque belli.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>Tho’ thou more apt for love than furious war,</p> +<p>And gay desires to move, thy chiefest care,</p> +<p>Yet war, and sweetest pleasures, you can join,</p> +<p>Both Mars and Venus are devotes to wine.</p> +</div> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note24_1" id = "note24_1" href = "#tag24_1">1.</a> +Flav. Vopisc. in vita Bonos.</p> + +<p><a name = "note24_2" id = "note24_2" href = "#tag24_2">2.</a> +Amel. de la Houssai sur Tacit. Ann. liv. xi. ch. 35.</p> + +<p><a name = "note24_3" id = "note24_3" href = "#tag24_3">3.</a> +Scaligeriana, p. 169.</p> + +<p><a name = "note24_4" id = "note24_4" href = "#tag24_4">4.</a> +L. ii. ch. 2.</p> + +<p><a name = "note24_5" id = "note24_5" href = "#tag24_5">5.</a> +Orat. ii. Philip.</p> + +<p><a name = "note24_6" id = "note24_6" href = "#tag24_6">6.</a> +Essais, l. ii. ch. 2.</p> + +<p><a name = "note24_7" id = "note24_7" href = "#tag24_7">7.</a> +Sueton. in Vit. August.</p> + +<p><a name = "note24_8" id = "note24_8" href = "#tag24_8">8.</a> +Lib. ii. Od. 19.</p> +</div> + + + + +<h3><a name = "chap25" id = "chap25">CHAP. XXV.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +BURLESQUE, RIDICULOUS, AND OUT-OF-THE-WAY THOUGHTS, AGAINST +DRUNKENNESS.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">I</span>t</span> is reported that Gerson should say, That +there was no difference between a man’s killing himself at one stroke, +or to procure death by several, in getting drunk.</p> + +<p>Somebody has burlesqued this verse of Ovid<a class = "tag" name = +"tag25_1" id = "tag25_1" href = "#note25_1">1</a>:—</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">158</span> +<p class = "verse"> +Vina parant animos, faciuntque coloribus aptos.<a class = "tag" name = +"tag25_1a" id = "tag25_1a" href = "#note25_1a">1a</a></p> + +<p>And thus changed it,</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Vina parant asinos, faciuntque furoribus aptos.</p> + +<p>Cyneas<a class = "tag" name = "tag25_2" id = "tag25_2" href = +"#note25_2">2</a> alluding to those high trees to which they used to +fasten the vines, said one day, discoursing on wine, that it was not +without reason that his mother was hanged upon so high a gibbet.</p> + +<p>“<a class = "tag" name = "tag25_3" id = "tag25_3" href = +"#note25_3">3</a>The diversion that people took heretofore in making one +another drunk, appeared more heinous to St. Augustine than an +assassination, for he maintained, that those who made any one drunk, did +him greater injury than if they had given him a stab with a dagger.</p> + +<p>“A Greek<a class = "tag" name = "tag25_4" id = "tag25_4" href = +"#note25_4">4</a> physician once wrote a letter to Alexander, in which +he begged him to remember, that every time that he drank wine, he drank +the pure blood of the earth, and that he must not abuse it.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">159</span> +<p>“<a class = "tag" name = "tag25_5" id = "tag25_5" href = +"#note25_5">5</a>Some poets say, that it was the blood of the gods +wounded in their battle with the giants.</p> + +<p>“<a class = "tag" name = "tag25_6" id = "tag25_6" href = +"#note25_6">6</a>The Severians in St. Epiphanius, hold, that it was +engendered by a serpent, and it is for that reason that the vine is so +strong. And the Encratites, in the same author, imagine to themselves +that it was the gall of the devil.</p> + +<p>“Noah<a class = "tag" name = "tag25_7" id = "tag25_7" href = +"#note25_7">7</a> in an hour of drunkenness,” says St. Jerom, “let his +body be seen naked, which he had kept covered for six hundred +years.”</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note25_1a" id = "note25_1a" href = "#tag25_1a">1a.</a> +Ovid, <i>Ars Amatoria</i> 237.</p> + +<p><a name = "note25_1" id = "note25_1" href = "#tag25_1">1.</a> +Sphinx Theol. p. 682.</p> + +<p><a name = "note25_2" id = "note25_2" href = "#tag25_2">2.</a> +Diver, cur. t. i. p. 141.</p> + +<p><a name = "note25_3" id = "note25_3" href = "#tag25_3">3.</a> +Rep. des Lett. Janv. 1687. Art. I.</p> + +<p><a name = "note25_4" id = "note25_4" href = "#tag25_4">4.</a> +Androcydes.</p> + +<p><a name = "note25_5" id = "note25_5" href = "#tag25_5">5.</a> +Entret. de Voiture, et de Costar, Lett. 29.</p> + +<p><a name = "note25_6" id = "note25_6" href = "#tag25_6">6.</a> +Lib. i. Heres. 47.</p> + +<p><a name = "note25_7" id = "note25_7" href = "#tag25_7">7.</a> +Ep. ad Ocean.</p> +</div> + + + + +<span class = "pagenum">160</span> +<h3><a name = "chap26" id = "chap26">CHAP. XXVI.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +A RIDICULOUS AVERSION THAT SOME HAVE TO WINE.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">A</span>n</span> aversion to wine is a thing not very +common; and there are but a very few but will say with +Catullus:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“At vos quo lubet, hinc abite lymphæ</p> +<p>Vini pernicies.”<a class = "tag" name = "tag26_a" id = "tag26_a" href += "#note26_a">a</a></p> +</div> + +<p class = "verse trans"> +Pernicious water, bane to wine, be gone.</p> + +<p>One should certainly be very much in the wrong to put in the number +of those who had an aversion to wine the duke of Clarence. His brother, +Edward the Fourth, prejudiced with the predictions of Merlin, as if they +foretold, that one day that duke should usurp the crown from his +children, resolved to put him to death, he only gave him the liberty to +choose what death he +<span class = "pagenum">161</span> +would die of. The duke being willing to die a merry death, chose to be +drowned in a butt of Malmsey. Not unlike him on whom this epigram was +made.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“<a class = "tag" name = "tag26_1" id = "tag26_1" href = +"#note26_1">1</a>In cyatho vini pleno cum musca periret;</p> +<p>Sic, ait Oeneus, sponte perire velim.”</p> +</div> + +<div class = "verse trans"> +<p>In a full glass of wine expir’d a fly;</p> +<p>So, said Oeneus, would I freely die.</p> +</div> + +<p>But let us come in earnest to those who have really had an antipathy +to wine. Herbelot<a class = "tag" name = "tag26_2" id = "tag26_2" href = +"#note26_2">2</a>, in his Bibliotheque Orientale, says, that there are +some Mussulmans so superstitious, that they will not call wine by its +true name, which is Schamr and Nedibh; and that there are some princes +amongst them that have forbidden the mentioning of it by express laws. +The reason of all this is, the prohibition of Mahomet to his followers, +which enjoins them not to drink wine. The occasion of which prohibition +is as follows: “<a class = "tag" name = "tag26_3" id = "tag26_3" href = +"#note26_3">3</a>They say, that passing one day through a village, +<span class = "pagenum">162</span> +and seeing the people in the mirth of wine embracing and kissing one +another, and making a thousand protestations of friendship, he was so +charmed with the sight, that he blessed the wine, as the best thing in +the world. But that, at his return, observing the same place full of +blood, and having been informed, that the same men whom he had seen +before so merry, had, at last, changed their mirth into rage, and been +fighting with their swords, he recalled his benediction, and cursed wine +for ever, on account of the bad effects it produced.”</p> + +<p>It is one of the chief commandments amongst the Siameze, to drink no +wine, nor any liquor that will procure drunkenness<a class = "tag" name += "tag26_4" id = "tag26_4" href = "#note26_4">4</a>.</p> + +<p>“<a class = "tag" name = "tag26_5" id = "tag26_5" href = +"#note26_5">5</a>Drunkenness is detested in most parts of hot countries. +It is looked upon there as infamous. The greatest affront you can give a +Spaniard, is to call him drunkard. I have been assured, continues +M. Bayle, a servant, if his master should call him so, might +bring his action at law against him, and recover damages, though +<span class = "pagenum">163</span> +any other name he will suffer very patiently, and without any right of +complaint of being injured in his reputation, as rogue, hang-dog, b<span +class = "dash">——</span>, &c.”</p> + +<p>Empedocles, we may well conclude, loved wine, which he called, Water +putrified in wood.</p> + +<p><a class = "tag" name = "tag26_6" id = "tag26_6" href = +"#note26_6">6</a>Amongst the Locrians, Seleucus had such an aversion to +wine, that he forbad any one to drink it under pain of death, or even +give it to the sick.</p> + +<p>Apollonius Thyanæus never drank any wine, no more than St. +Fulgentius, bishop, S. Stephen, king of Poland, and cardinal +Emeri.</p> + +<p>“<a class = "tag" name = "tag26_7" id = "tag26_7" href = +"#note26_7">7</a>The Severians, disciples of Severus, in the time of +pope Sotherus, condemned absolutely wine, as a creature of the +devil.”</p> + +<p><a class = "tag" name = "tag26_8" id = "tag26_8" href = +"#note26_8">8</a>The emperor Frederick the Third, seeing his wife +barren, consulted the physicians upon the case; who told him, that if +the empress would drink wine she might be fruitful. But he told +<span class = "pagenum">164</span> +them, like a simpleton as he was, That he had rather his wife should be +barren and sober, than be fruitful and drink wine. And the empress, +being informed of the wise answer of the imperial ninny-hammer, her +husband, said full as wisely, That if she was to be put to her choice, +to drink wine or die, she should make no manner of hesitation, but +prefer death.</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +De nimia sapientia libera nos domine.</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note26_a" id = "note26_a" href = "#tag26_a">a.</a> +Catullus XXVII.5-6.</p> + +<p><a name = "note26_1" id = "note26_1" href = "#tag26_1">1.</a> +Rem. sur Rabel. t. iv. ch. 93.</p> + +<p><a name = "note26_2" id = "note26_2" href = "#tag26_2">2.</a> +Page 777.</p> + +<p><a name = "note26_3" id = "note26_3" href = "#tag26_3">3.</a> +Du Mont. Voyag. t. iii. let. 5.</p> + +<p><a name = "note26_4" id = "note26_4" href = "#tag26_4">4.</a> +Chaumont Voyag. de Siam.</p> + +<p><a name = "note26_5" id = "note26_5" href = "#tag26_5">5.</a> +Bayle Dict. t. ii. p. 1266.</p> + +<p><a name = "note26_6" id = "note26_6" href = "#tag26_6">6.</a> +Ælian, lib. ii. ch. 33.</p> + +<p><a name = "note26_7" id = "note26_7" href = "#tag26_7">7.</a> +Du Mont. Voyag. t. iii. lit. 5.</p> + +<p><a name = "note26_8" id = "note26_8" href = "#tag26_8">8.</a> +Rec. choise d’Hist.</p> +</div> + + + + +<h3><a name = "chap27" id = "chap27">CHAP. XXVII.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +RIGOROUS LAWS AGAINST WINE AND DRUNKENNESS.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">I</span>t</span> is easy to imagine, that princes who did +not love wine themselves, would make very rigorous laws against +drunkenness, and fall into that fault which Horace speaks of.</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Dum vitant stulti vitia in contraria currunt.<a class = "tag" name = +"tag27_a" id = "tag27_a" href = "#note27_a">a</a></p> + +<span class = "pagenum">165</span> +<p>But this maxim, <i>Nullum violentum durabile</i>, has been verified a +great many times, upon this subject of drunkenness, for all the laws +made against it have not long subsisted.</p> + +<p>Pentheus<a class = "tag" name = "tag27_1" id = "tag27_1" href = +"#note27_1">1</a>, king of Thebes, endeavoured to extirpate entirely the +custom of getting drunk; but he did not find his account in it, for he +was very ill-treated by his subjects for his pains.</p> + +<p>Lycurgus<a class = "tag" name = "tag27_2" id = "tag27_2" href = +"#note27_2">2</a>, king of Thrace, commanded all the vines of the +country to be cut up; for which he was justly punished by Bacchus. He +also made laws against drunkenness, which one may reckon amongst the bad +ones that he instituted. As,</p> + +<p class = "inset"> +I. <i>The using women in common.</i></p> + +<p class = "inset"> +II. <i>The nudity of young women in certain solemn festivals.</i></p> + +<p>“Pittacus<a class = "tag" name = "tag27_3" id = "tag27_3" href = +"#note27_3">3</a>, one of the wise men of Greece, commanded, that he who +committed a fault when he was drunk, should suffer a double +<span class = "pagenum">166</span> +punishment. And amongst the laws of Solon, there was one, which +condemned to death the chief magistrate if he got drunk. Amongst the +Indians, who only just touch wine in the ceremonies of their sacrifices, +the law commands, that the woman who killed one of their kings, should +get drunk, and marry his successor.”</p> + +<p><a class = "tag" name = "tag27_4" id = "tag27_4" href = +"#note27_4">4</a>The Athenians had also very severe laws against those +that should get drunk; but one may say, these laws resembled those of +Draco, which were written rather with blood than ink.</p> + +<p>We come now to the Turks. Sir Paul Ricaut<a class = "tag" name = +"tag27_5" id = "tag27_5" href = "#note27_5">5</a> tells us several +particulars on this head. Amurath, says he, resolved, in the year 1634, +to forbid entirely the use of wine. He put out a severe edict, which +commanded all the houses where they sold wine to be razed, the barrels +wherever they should be found to be staved, and the wine to be let out +into the streets. And that he might truly be satisfied his orders were +obeyed, he frequently disguised himself, and walked +<span class = "pagenum">167</span> +in that manner about the city; and when he found any one carrying wine, +he sent him to prison, and had him bastinadoed almost to death. One day +he met in the streets a poor deaf man, who not hearing the noise usually +made at the approach of the sultan, did not soon enough avoid a prince +whose presence was so fatal. This negligence cost him his life. He was +strangled by order of the grand seignior, who commanded his body to be +cast into the street. But this great severity did not last long, and all +things returned to their former condition.</p> + +<p>However, matters took again another turn under the reign of Mahomet +the IVth. who, in 1670, resolved to forbid all the soldiery the use of +wine. The terrible seditions that liquor had formerly raised were +remembered, and especially that which happened under Mahomet the Third, +who saw his seraglio forced by a great multitude of soldiers full of +wine, and whose fury he could not free himself from, but by sacrificing +his principal favourites. An edict was published, to prohibit entirely +the use of wine, and to command all those who had any in their houses, +to send it out of town. The same extended all over the empire. +<span class = "pagenum">168</span> +The sultan condemned to death those who should violate this decree, in +which he spoke of wine as of a liquor infernal, invented by the devil to +destroy the souls of men, to disturb their reason, and put states into +combustion. This was rigorously put in execution, and to that extremity, +that it cost the ambassador of England, and the christian merchants of +Constantinople, great solicitations, and large sums of money, to get +leave to make only as much wine as would suffice for their own families. +At Smyrna, the officers of the grand seignior had not the same +indulgence for the christians, who were one whole year without wine; and +it was with great difficulty they got leave to import it from the isles +of the Archipelago, and other places not comprised in that prohibition; +for this prohibition reached only those places where there were mosques. +Besides all this, they made every Friday sermons stuffed full of +declamations against those who should drink it. In short, this edict was +so severe, that wine seemed to be banished for ever the states of the +grand seignior. But in about a year’s time its severity was somewhat +remitted. The ambassadors, and other christians, had leave +<span class = "pagenum">169</span> +to make wine within themselves; and about a year after that, the +indulgence for wine was general, the taverns were opened, and at this +day that liquor is as common as it was before.</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note27_a" id = "note27_a" href = "#tag27_a">a.</a> +Horace, <i>Satire</i> I.ii.24.</p> + +<p><a name = "note27_1" id = "note27_1" href = "#tag27_1">1.</a> +Sphinx. Theol. p. 669.</p> + +<p><a name = "note27_2" id = "note27_2" href = "#tag27_2">2.</a> +Hist. 7 Sap.</p> + +<p><a name = "note27_3" id = "note27_3" href = "#tag27_3">3.</a> +Chevreana, t. i. p. 217.</p> + +<p><a name = "note27_4" id = "note27_4" href = "#tag27_4">4.</a> +Hist. 7 Sap.</p> + +<p><a name = "note27_5" id = "note27_5" href = "#tag27_5">5.</a> +See his Turkish Hist.</p> +</div> + + + + +<h3><a name = "chap28" id = "chap28">CHAP. XXVIII.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +RULES TO BE OBSERVED IN GETTING DRUNK. I. NOT TOO OFTEN. II. IN +GOOD COMPANY.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">T</span>o</span> avoid the disorders that drunkenness +might cause, here are some rules that ought to be observed in this +important affair of getting drunk; for, according to Pliny, the art of +getting drunk has its laws.</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Hæc ars suis legibus constat.<a class = "tag" name = "tag28_a" id = +"tag28_a" href = "#note28_a">a</a></p> + +<p>I. The first, and principal of these, is not to +<span class = "pagenum">170</span> +get drunk too often. This is what Seneca<a class = "tag" name = +"tag28_1" id = "tag28_1" href = "#note28_1">1</a> recommends very much. +“You must not,” says he, “do it often, for fear it grow into a habit; it +is but only sometimes you should make your spirits gay in banishing +gloomy sobriety.”</p> + +<p>And if any person objects, That if one gets drunk sometimes, one +shall do it often. I deny the consequence, and say in the words of +the philosopher, an axiom held by both universities, that</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Ab actu ad habitum non valet consequentia.</p> + +<p>II. Second rule. One must not get drunk but in good company. That is +to say, with good friends, people of wit, honour, and good humour, and +where there is good wine. For example, a man in former times would +have done very ill to get drunk with Heliogabalus, whose historian<a +class = "tag" name = "tag28_2" id = "tag28_2" href = "#note28_2">2</a> +reports, that after having made his friends drunk, he used to shut them +up in an apartment, and at night let loose upon them lions, leopards, +and tigers, which always tore to pieces +<span class = "pagenum">171</span> +some of them. On the other hand, the best wine in the world will taste +very bad in bad company. It is therefore that Martial reproaches one, +that he spoiled his good wine with his silly babbling.</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +<span class = "dash">——————</span> +Verbis mucida vina facis.<a class = "tag" name = "tag28_2a" id = +"tag28_2a" href = "#note28_2a">2a</a></p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note28_a" id = "note28_a" href = "#tag28_a">a.</a> +Pliny, <i>Natural History</i> XIV.50 (or XIV.xxviii.146).</p> + +<p><a name = "note28_1" id = "note28_1" href = "#tag28_1">1.</a> +De Tranquillitate.</p> + +<p><a name = "note28_2" id = "note28_2" href = "#tag28_2">2.</a> +Ælius Lamprid. in Vit. Heliogab.</p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note28_2a" id = "note28_2a" href = "#tag28_2a">2a.</a> +Martial VIII.vi.4.</p> +</div> + + + + +<h3><a name = "chap29" id = "chap29">CHAP. XXIX.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +THIRD RULE, WITH GOOD WINE.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">W</span>hen</span> one has a mind to get drunk, one should +make choice of good wine, and not drink bad, which is prejudicial to +health. For example, green wine is very bad; this Guilleaume Cretin<a +class = "tag" name = "tag29_1" id = "tag29_1" href = "#note29_1">1</a>, +a great punster, has expressed in these +<span class = "pagenum">172</span> +verses, which, I own, I am not able to put into +English:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“Par ce vin verds Atropos a trop os</p> +<p>Des corps humains ruez envers en vers</p> +<p>Dont un quidam apre aux pots a propos</p> +<p>A fort blâmé les tours pervers en vers.”</p> +</div> + +<p>Good wine, on the contrary, has very good effects. Erasmus<a class = +"tag" name = "tag29_2" id = "tag29_2" href = "#note29_2">2</a> preserved +himself from the plague, by drinking a glass of Burgundy at a proper +season.</p> + +<p>You see now the efficacy of good wine, which, to be in its +perfection, the adepts in the free-schools of Liber Pater say, must have +these four properties, and please these four senses:— the taste by +its savour, the smell by its flavour, the sight by its clean and bright +colour, and the ear by the fame of the country where it grows. Old wine +was looked upon to be the best by the ancients.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>A beauty, when advanc’d in age,</p> +<p>No more her lovers can engage;</p> +<p>But wine, the rare advantage, knows,</p> +<p>It pleases more, more old it grows.</p> +</div> + +<span class = "pagenum">173</span> +<p>And were they never so old themselves, they would still, if possible, +have the wine older than they were. <i>Nec cuiquam adeo longa erat vita, +ut non ante se genita potaret</i><a class = "tag" name = "tag29_3" id = +"tag29_3" href = "#note29_3">3</a>. Which these words of Seneca<a class += "tag" name = "tag29_4" id = "tag29_4" href = "#note29_4">4</a> also +confirm, “Why at your house do you drink wine older than yourself? +<i>Cur apud te vinum apud te vetustius bibitur.</i>”</p> + +<p>Martial says, “Do you ask me of what consulate this wine is? It was +before there were any consuls in the world.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>“De sinuessanis venerunt massica prælis:</p> +<p>Condita quo quæris consule? nullus erat.”<a class = "tag" name = +"tag29_4a" id = "tag29_4a" href = "#note29_4a">4a</a></p> +</div> + +<p>At present the fame of the best wine in Europe is reckoned to be, +that of Monte Fiascone, two days journey from Rome. Here it was a German +abbot killed himself by drinking too much of this delicious creature. +The story is this, and it is related in Lassell’s Travels:—</p> + +<p>A certain German abbot, travelling to Rome, ordered his servant to +ride before him, and when he found the best wine, to chalk upon the door +of +<span class = "pagenum">174</span> +the inn (in order to save time) the word <i>EST</i>. Coming to +Monte Fiascone, he found it so excellent, that he put down, <i>Est, Est, +Est</i>, which the abbot finding true, drank so plentifully of it, that +he went no farther on his journey, but lies buried, they say, in the +cathedral church, with this epitaph, written by his servant the +purveyor.</p> + +<p class = "center"> +Est, Est, Est,<br> +et<br> +Propter nimium Est,<br> +Herus meus Dominus Abbas<br> +mortuus Est.</p> + +<p>The wine called Lachrymæ Christi, or the Tears of Christ, is a most +delicious wine. At least a master of arts of the university of +Cologn thought so, who going also to Rome, drank at the same place +pretty heartily of it, and out of the abundance of his heart cried +out,</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Utinam Christus lachrymatus fuisset in nostra patria.</p> + +<p class = "verse trans"> +I wish Christ had shed tears in our country.</p> + +<p>M. Hofman believes, that Rhenish wine is the best of all wines for +one’s health.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">175</span> +<p>There <ins class = "notation" title = "text unchanged">grows</ins> +also most excellent <ins class = "notation" title = "text unchanged">wines</ins> in France, such as Champagne.</p> + +<p>Wenceslaus<a class = "tag" name = "tag29_5" id = "tag29_5" href = +"#note29_5">5</a>, king of Bohemia and the Romans, being come into +France on account of some negociations with Charles the Sixth, arrived +at Rheins in the month of March, 1397. When he was in that city he found +the wine so good, that he got drunk more than once; and being one day in +that condition, that he could not enter into any serious discourses, he +rather chose to grant what was asked of him than leave off drinking.</p> + +<p>The wines of Burgundy must not be forgotten, which some prefer to +Champagne. “Baudius called vin de beaulne, vinum deorum, the wine of the +gods<a class = "tag" name = "tag29_6" id = "tag29_6" href = +"#note29_6">6</a>.”</p> + +<p>The wines of Ai are also very excellent. S. Evremont<a class = +"tag" name = "tag29_7" id = "tag29_7" href = "#note29_7">7</a> says, +that Leo the Tenth, Charles the Fifth, Francis the First, and Hen. VIII. +king of England, did not think it below their dignity, amongst the most +important affairs of +<span class = "pagenum">176</span> +state, to take care to have the wines of Ai. Henry IV. caused himself to +be styled lord of Ai and Gonesse.</p> + +<p>But I shall desire my readers here to observe two things, First, That +artificial wines, and a many other liquors, containing a great deal of +gross, viscous matter, excite a drunkenness more long and dangerous than +that which is produced by ordinary wines. Another thing is, Never to get +drunk with brandy, spirits, and strong waters. Patin<a class = "tag" +name = "tag29_8" id = "tag29_8" href = "#note29_8">8</a> says very +pleasantly, that these are sugared poisons which surely kill: they give +life to those who sell them, and death to those who use them.</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "note29_1" id = "note29_1" href = "#tag29_1">1.</a> +Rem. sur. Rabel. t. iii. p. 39.</p> + +<p><a name = "note29_2" id = "note29_2" href = "#tag29_2">2.</a> +Journ. des Sçav. June, 1706.</p> + +<p><a name = "note29_3" id = "note29_3" href = "#tag29_3">3.</a> +Plin. +<span class = "mynote"> +<i>Natural History</i> XIX.20 (or XIX.xix.53).</span></p> + +<p><a name = "note29_4" id = "note29_4" href = "#tag29_4">4.</a> +De Vit. beat. c. 17.</p> + +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note29_4a" id = "note29_4a" href = "#tag29_4a">4a.</a> +Martial XIII.111.</p> + +<p><a name = "note29_5" id = "note29_5" href = "#tag29_5">5.</a> +Journ. de Sçav. June, 1706.</p> + +<p><a name = "note29_6" id = "note29_6" href = "#tag29_6">6.</a> +Patimana, p. 34.</p> + +<p><a name = "note29_7" id = "note29_7" href = "#tag29_7">7.</a> +Lett. S. Evrem.</p> + +<p><a name = "note29_8" id = "note29_8" href = "#tag29_8">8.</a> +Vign. Marvill, t. ii. p. 7.</p> +</div> + + + + +<span class = "pagenum">177</span> +<h3><a name = "chap30" id = "chap30">CHAP. XXX.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +FOURTH RULE, AT CONVENIENT TIMES.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">T</span>hough</span> one must not get drunk every day, one +may, notwithstanding, on certain occasions. One must sometimes unbend +the mind.</p> + +<p class = "verse"> +Neque semper arcum tendit Apollo.<a class = "tag" name = "tag30_a" id = +"tag30_a" href = "#note30_a">a</a></p> + +<p>And when a man puts on the air of a philosopher, it is then he turns +fool in affecting to be wise.</p> + +<p>There is a time for all things, and so there is in getting drunk, +that is, getting drunk with decency and decorum; and there are some +times which are not convenient to do so. As for example, (for I love to +illustrate what I advance,) it does not suit with decorum for a judge to +be drunk on the bench; nor a crier in the court exercising his office, +[hiccup, ki<span class = "dash">——</span> book;] +a parson +<span class = "pagenum">178</span> +in the pulpit; an experimental philosopher in shewing of his gimcracks; +nor a freemason on the top of a church-steeple.</p> + +<p>But it suits very well with strict decorum, to get drunk at a public +rejoicing after a signal victory.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>When the proud Gaul sustain’d an overthrow</p> +<p>By the immortal MARLBOROUGH,</p> +<p>Ever invincible! then you and I,</p> +<p>My Thirsis, shar’d the common joy.</p> +<p>Blenheim and Ramillies were then our song,</p> +<p>The day tho’ short, the night was long,</p> +<p>Till both with mighty claret glow’d,</p> +<p>And tipsy, to our beds were shew’d.</p> +</div> + +<p>We may also very decently get drunk with a friend we have not seen a +long while.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p class = "indent">Here ’tis<span class = "dash">——</span>O +welcome, flask divine,</p> +<p>How bright does thy vermillion shine!</p> +<p>Thou charming native of Dijon<a class = "tag" name = "tag30_1" id = +"tag30_1" href = "#note30_1">1</a>,</p> +<p>At thy approach my cares are flown,</p> +<p>Sad melancholy is no more,</p> +<p>Which rack’d and plagu’d my soul before.</p> +<span class = "pagenum">179</span> +<p>Whether thy influence incites,</p> +<p>(Sweet influence) to soft delights;</p> +<p>Or else dost other measures keep,</p> +<p>And gently urge to peaceful sleep.</p> +<p>O may’st thou still such streams bestow,</p> +<p>Still with such ruddy torrents flow.</p> +<p>Damon, this bottle is your due,</p> +<p>And more I have in store for you</p> +<p>Under the sun the faithfullest friend;</p> +<p>I’ve kept them for no other end.</p> +<p>Drink then a bumper, ’tis a folly,</p> +<p>Dear Damon, to be melancholy.</p> +</div> + +<p>However rigorous the Roman laws were against drunkenness, they +permitted it nevertheless on their festivals; witness what a young man +said to his father in presence of the people. “<a class = "tag" name = +"tag30_2" id = "tag30_2" href = "#note30_2">2</a>No father,” says he, +“I have no reason to be ashamed for having taken a little more wine +than ordinary at a feast with my companions.” <i>Non est res qua +embescam, Pater, si die festo inter æquales largiore vino fui +usus.</i></p> + +<p>The Persian soldiers, who otherwise lived +<span class = "pagenum">180</span> +very soberly, were permitted to get drunk once a year<a class = "tag" +name = "tag30_3" id = "tag30_3" href = "#note30_3">3</a>.</p> + +<p>In Georgia, he who did not get quite drunk at their principal +holidays, as at Easter and Christmas, was not looked upon to be a +christian, and ought to be excommunicated. <a class = "tag" name = +"tag30_4" id = "tag30_4" href = "#note30_4">4</a>So that, according to +this, getting drunk at certain convenient times amongst these +christians, was so far from being unlawful, that a man was not looked +upon to be orthodox, without he did so. Getting drunk is therefore very +orthodox.</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note30_a" id = "note30_a" href = "#tag30_a">a.</a> +Horace, <i>Odes</i> II.x.19-20.</p> + +<p><a name = "note30_1" id = "note30_1" href = "#tag30_1">1.</a> +Dijon, chief city in Burgundy.</p> + +<p><a name = "note30_2" id = "note30_2" href = "#tag30_2">2.</a> +Tit. Liv. lib. iv. ch. 14.</p> + +<p><a name = "note30_3" id = "note30_3" href = "#tag30_3">3.</a> +Alex. ab Alex, lib, ii. ch. 11.</p> + +<p><a name = "note30_4" id = "note30_4" href = "#tag30_4">4.</a> +Voyag. de Chard. t. ii. 129.</p> +</div> + + + + +<span class = "pagenum">181</span> +<h3><a name = "chap31" id = "chap31">CHAP. XXXI.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +FIFTH RULE, TO FORCE NO ONE TO DRINK.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">I</span>t</span> is very ridiculous and unreasonable to +force any one to drink, because the taking away liberty spoils company, +the benefit of which cannot subsist without freedom. Besides, every +man’s capacity of drinking is not the same; one shall be able to drink a +gallon, and another a pint; the latter, therefore, by drinking a pint, +has drank as much as the former when he has taken off his gallon, +because they both have drank as they can, and <span class = +"dash">———</span> Ferdinando <span class = +"dash">———</span> No man can do more than he can do. +Let every man, therefore, have the liberty to drink as he pleases, +without being tied up to the mad laws of drinking. I am of the same +opinion in this matter with brother Horace:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p><span class = +"dash">——————</span> Prout cuiq; +libide est</p> +<p>Siccat inequales calices conviva solutus</p> +<span class = "pagenum">182</span> +<p>Legibus insanis, sen quis capit acria fortis</p> +<p>Pocula, seu modicis humescit lætius<span class = +"dash">——</span><a class = "tag" name = "tag31_a" id = +"tag31_a" href = "#note31_a">a</a></p> +</div> + +<p>We learn from history, that there was an ancient law amongst the +Persians, that forbad anyone to force another to drink. The +Lacedemonians also had that laudable custom.</p> + +<p>Charlemagne also made a law, that prohibited forcing any one to +drink.</p> + +<p>Mr. Bayle reports a very pleasant revenge that M. Peyren gave to +Raphael Thorius, a very learned person, who would force him to +drink, which take as follows. “<a class = "tag" name = "tag31_1" id = +"tag31_1" href = "#note31_1">1</a>M. Peyren dining at London with +several persons of learning, could not be discharged from drinking a +health that Dr. Thorius toasted. The glass was of a prodigious size, +which M. Peyren, for that reason, a long while refused, and +alleged a thousand reasons, but all in vain; he must empty the glass. +Before he did it he made this agreement with his antagonist, that he +should drink a health afterwards that he should toast to him; which +being consented to, he took off the bumper, and filled the glass full of +water, and drank it off to the +<span class = "pagenum">183</span> +doctor, who thereupon was thunderstruck, but seeing he could not get +off, sighed deeply, and lifted the glass a thousand times to his lips, +and as often drew it back again: he called to his assistance all the +quaint sayings of the Greek and Latin poets, and was almost the whole +day drinking that cursed bumper.”</p> + +<p>This is not much unlike what M. Chevreau reports of Marigni, who, “<a +class = "tag" name = "tag31_2" id = "tag31_2" href = +"#note31_2">2</a>after having dined at one of the best eating-houses in +Frankfort, with six or seven persons of quality, was called to the +sideboard, where one of them began the emperor’s health. This he must +drink, and as he foresaw very well, that this extravagance would be +attended with others, he ordered three or four great pieces of bread to +be brought to him, and having eaten half of one to the health of the +king of France, he gave the other half to the other, who took it, +indeed, but would not so much as put it to his mouth. The company +surprized at so unexpected a novelty, let him alone without any +contradiction.”</p> + +<p>Nevertheless, one should be very diligent in +<span class = "pagenum">184</span> +observing this rule, which is, That when we find ourselves in the +company of people that drink, and would not run those lengths they are +going to do, to retire; and this was a standing law amongst the Greeks +in their festivals, and ought to be as unalterable as the laws of the +Medes and Persians, viz.</p> + +<p class = "center smallroman"> +DRINK, OR GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note31_a" id = "note31_a" href = "#tag31_a">a.</a> +Horace, <i>Satires</i> II.6.67-70.</p> + +<p><a name = "note31_1" id = "note31_1" href = "#tag31_1">1.</a> +Diction, p. 2875. Art. Thor.</p> + +<p><a name = "note31_2" id = "note31_2" href = "#tag31_2">2.</a> +Chevræana, t. ii. p. 188.</p> +</div> + + + + +<h3><a name = "chap32" id = "chap32">CHAP. XXXII.</a><br> +<span class = "subhead"> +SIXTH RULE, NOT TO PUSH DRUNKENNESS TOO FAR.</span></h3> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">I</span>t</span> is certain, that to do well, we ought +continually to have an eye to this maxim of Horace, viz. <i>Est modus in +rebus</i>. And the <i>Ne quid nimis</i> of Terence; but especially, in +this grand and most important affair of drunkenness. +<span class = "pagenum">185</span> +Seneca very well distinguishes two sorts of drunkenness, one which +entirely <i>buries</i> our reason; and the other, which only +<i>diverts</i> melancholy and chagrin. The last we believe to be very +lawful; but we would have it go farther, even so far, as not only <i>to +divert</i>, but to <i>drive away</i> our cares entirely, or else not to +get drunk at all. That which is between these, if any such there can be, +does one an injury, according to the poet:—</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p>Aut nulla ebrietas, aut tanta sit ut tibi curas</p> +<p>Eripiat, si quæ est inter utramque nocet.<a class = "tag" name = +"tag32_a" id = "tag32_a" href = "#note32_a">a</a></p> +</div> + +<p>After this manner would we have people use the juice of the grape; +that is, to go so far as to make our hearts merry, gay, and sprightly, +and so as to forget our cares.</p> + +<p>It would be here useless to shew, by a great many examples, the +disorders that drunkenness has caused, when pushed too far, because it +was never the intention of this work, but to divert (as wine was +designed to do) and make merry, I shall therefore conclude the +whole with an Ode to Bacchus, as follows:—</p> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p class = "mynote"> +<a name = "note32_a" id = "note32_a" href = "#tag32_a">a.</a> +Ovid, <i>Remedium Amoris</i> 809-810.</p> +</div> + + + + +<span class = "pagenum">186</span> +<h3>AN ODE TO BACCHUS.</h3> + +<div class = "verse"> +<h5>I.</h5> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">L</span>et’s</span> sing the glories of the god of +wine,</p> +<p class = "indent">May his immortal praise</p> +<p>Be the eternal object of our song,</p> +<p>And sweetest symphonies; may ev’ry tongue</p> +<p class = "indent">And throat sonorous, vocal music raise,</p> +<p>And ev’ry grateful instrument combine</p> +<p>To celebrate, great god, thy power divine.</p> +<p>Let other poets to the world relate,</p> +<p>Of Troy, the hard, unhappy fate;</p> +<p class = "indent">And in immortal song rehearse,</p> +<p>Purpled with streams of blood the Phrygian plain;</p> +<p>The glorious hist’ry of Achilles slain,</p> +<p class = "indent">And th’ odious memory of Pelop’s sons revive in +verse.</p> + +<h5>II.</h5> + +<p class = "indent">God of the grape, thou potent boy,</p> +<p>Thou only object of our cordial vows,</p> +<span class = "pagenum">187</span> +<p>To thee alone I consecrate my heart,</p> +<p>Ready to follow thee in ev’ry part:</p> +<p>Thy influence sweet mirth bestows,</p> +<p class = "indent">For thee alone I’d live and die in scenes of +joy.</p> +<p>Thy bounty all our wishes still prevents;</p> +<p>Thy wond’rous sweetness calms to soft repose</p> +<p>Our wild regrets and restless woes,</p> +<p>And richly ev’ry craving mind contents.</p> +<p>Without thee Venus has no charms;</p> +<p>You constancy to am’rous souls impart,</p> +<p>And hopes bestow to each despairing heart,</p> + +<h5>III.</h5> + +<p>But, what involuntary transports roll,</p> +<p>And seize, at once, my agitated soul!</p> +<p>Into what sacred vale! what silent wood!</p> +<p>(I speak not by the vulgar understood,)</p> +<p>Am I, O god! O wond’rous deity!</p> +<p>Ravish’d, brimful of thy divinity and thee!</p> +<p>To my (once infidel) believing eyes</p> +<p>Bacchus unveils entire his sacred mysteries.</p> +<p>Movements confus’d of joy and fear</p> +<p>Hurry me I know not where.</p> +<p class = "indent">With boldness all divine the god inspires;</p> +<p>With what a pleasing fury am I fill’d!</p> +<p class = "indent">Such raging fires</p> +<p>Never the Menades in Thracian caves beheld.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum">188</span> +<h5>IV.</h5> + +<p>Descend, O mother-queen of love,</p> +<p>Leave a while the realms above;</p> +<p>With your gay presence grace the feast</p> +<p>Of that great god, who bears a boundless sway,</p> +<p>Who conquer’d climates where first rose the day.</p> +<p>Descend, O mother-queen of love,</p> +<p>At rich repasts an ever welcome guest;</p> +<p>But O <span class = "dash">——</span>, too long you +stay,</p> +<p>Already young Amyntor, brisk and gay,</p> +<p class = "indent">His lovely Doris o’er the plain pursues:</p> +<p>The sparkling juice at Sylvan nymphs command</p> +<p>Richly distils from their ambrosial hand,</p> +<p class = "indent">And old Silenus copiously bedews.</p> + +<h5>V.</h5> + +<p>Hence, ye profane,</p> +<p class = "indent">I hate ye all, fly, quit the field,</p> +<p>My ready soul gives way</p> +<p>To those gay movements, this important day</p> +<p class = "indent">Inspires, so to the conq’ror willing captives +yield.</p> +<p>Come, faithful followers of Bacchus’ train,</p> +<p>(Bacchus, most lovely of the gods)</p> +<p>Enter these bless’d abodes.</p> +<span class = "pagenum">189</span> +<p>On high his verdant banners rear,</p> +<p>And quick the festival prepare.</p> +<p>Reach me my lute, a proper air</p> +<p>The chords shall sound; the trembling chords obey,</p> +<p>And join to celebrate this glorious day.</p> + +<h5>VI.</h5> + +<p class = "indent">But ’midst the transports of a pleasing rage</p> +<p>Let’s banish ever hence,</p> +<p>By a blind vapour rais’d, and vain pretence,</p> +<p class = "indent">Those loud seditious clamours that engage</p> +<p class = "indent">Only inhuman, brutish souls,</p> +<p>By barb’rous Scythians only understood,</p> +<p>Who cruelly their flowing bowls</p> +<p class = "indent">At banquets intermix with streams of blood.</p> +<p>Dreadful, preposterous, merriment!</p> +<p>Our hands all gayly innocent,</p> +<p>Ought ne’er in such confusion bear a part,</p> +<p>Polluted with a savage Centaur’s mortal dart.</p> + +<h5>VII.</h5> + +<p>From this sweet innocent repast,</p> +<p>(Too exquisite, alas! to last)</p> +<p>Let’s ever banish the rude din of arms,</p> +<p>Frightful Bellona, and her dread alarms.</p> +<span class = "pagenum">190</span> +<p>The dire confusions of pernicious war,</p> +<p>The satyrs, fauns, and Bacchus, all abhor.</p> +<p class = "indent">Curs’d be those sanguinary mortals, who</p> +<p>Of reeking blood with crimson tides</p> +<p class = "indent">The sacred mysteries imbrue</p> +<p>Of our great god who over peace presides.</p> + +<h5>VIII.</h5> + +<p class = "indent">But if I must wage war,</p> +<p>If so necessity commands,</p> +<p>Follow, my friends, advance your hands,</p> +<p class = "indent">Let us commence the pleasing jar.</p> +<p>With wreaths of ivy be our temples bound,</p> +<p>Hark! to arms, to arms, they sound,</p> +<p>Th’ alarm to battle calls,</p> +<p>Lend me your formidable Thyrse, ye Bacchanals.</p> +<p class = "indent">Double your strokes. Bold<span class = +"dash">——</span>bolder yet,</p> +<p>’Tis done<span class = "dash">————</span> How +many rivals conquer’d lie?</p> +<p class = "indent">How many hardy combatants submit?</p> +<p>O son of Jupiter, thy deity,</p> +<p class = "indent">And sovereign power, we own, and aid divine;</p> +<p>Nothing but heaps of jolly topers slain</p> +<p>I see extended on the plain,</p> +<p class = "indent">Floating in ruddy streams of reeking wine.</p> + +<h5>IX.</h5> + +<p>Io victoria to our king,</p> +<p>To Bacchus songs of triumph let us sing;</p> +<span class = "pagenum">191</span> +<p>His great immortal name</p> +<p>Let us aloud to distant worlds proclaim.</p> +<p>Io victoria to our king,</p> +<p>To Bacchus grateful strains belong;</p> +<p>O! may his glories live in endless song,</p> +<p>The vanquish’d welt’ring on the sand,</p> +<p>One health from us their conqu’ror demand.</p> +<p class = "indent">Fill me a bumper. Trumpet sound,</p> +<p>Second my voice, loud, louder yet,</p> +<p>Sound our exploits, and their defeat,</p> +<p class = "indent">Who quiet, undisturb’d, possess the ground.</p> +<p>Io victoria to our king,</p> +<p>To Bacchus, songs of triumph let us sing.</p> +</div> + +<p>To this great work now finished (God be thanked) I subscribe as +usual in the like cases of books, for I love decorum, and have an utter +aversion to particularity, prolixity, and circumlocution. I say, to +make short, I subscribe as usual, &c. in the like cases, +&c. for I love, &c. and have an aversion, &c. the +universally famous and most noted name which is subscribed to all books +by what name or titles dignified or distinguished: or of what sort, +species, size, dimension, or magnitude soever, pamphletary and +voluminous; whether they be first or foremost, +<span class = "pagenum">192</span> +plays, either comical, tragical, comi-tragical, tragi-comical, or +pastoral; godly, or profane songs or ballads; sermons high or low, +popish or protestant, dissenting, independent, enthusiastical, +Brownistical, heterodox, or orthodox; Philadelphian, Muggletonian, +Sacheverelian, or Bangorian, quaking, rhapsodical, prophetical, or +nonsensical; legends golden or plain; breviaries, graduals, missals, +pontificals, ceremonials, antiphonaries, statutes, spelling-books. Or, +secondly and lastly, tracts, treatises, essays; pandects, codes, +institutes; primers, rosaries, romances; travels, synods, history books; +digests, decretals, lives; commentaries anagogical, allegorical, or +tropological; journals, expositions, vocabularies, pilgrimages, manuals, +indexes common or expurgatorial; almanacks, bulls, constitutions, or +lottery books, viz. i. e. namely, to wit, or, that is to say,</p> + +<p class = "center"> +<span class = "extended">FINIS</span>.</p> + +<p class = "center"> +Which being interpreted is,</p> + +<p class = "center"> +<span class = "extended"><i>THE END</i></span>.</p> + + + + +<span class = "pagenum">193</span> +<h3><a name = "postscript" id = "postscript">POSTSCRIPT.</a></h3> + +<hr class = "tiny"> + +<p><span class = "firstword"><span class = +"firstletter">H</span>aving</span> received the following letter from a +merry friend, wherein are some (not unpleasant) remarks on the foregoing +treatise, I thought fit to send it to the press, which the reader, +as he is at liberty either to read, or let alone, so it is the same +thing to me, whether he does read it, or let it alone.</p> + +<p>To the renowned Boniface Oinophilus de Monte Fiascone, +A. B. C. author of the most inimitable (and non-pareil) +treatise, Ebrietatis Encomium, to be left with that mirror of privative +perspicuity, Signor Edemondo Curluccio, at the Bible and Dial, over +against Catherine-Street, in the Strand.</p> + +<p class = "inset"> +Right trusty, and well-beloved, I greet you well,</p> + +<p><span class = "firstword">Having</span> perused (at the bookseller’s, +who shewed me the sheets) your Ebrietatis Encomium all +<span class = "pagenum">194</span> +through, even unto Finis, or the End, I own I was not a little +diverted thereat. But as I never flatter any body, so my friends may +least of all expect I should begin with them. I must, therefore, be +frank and free with you, most renowned and never-to-be-forgotten +Boniface, <i>post nullos memorande sodales</i>, and tell you, that you +have omitted several things very material, and highly conducible to the +elucidation, or illustration, (choose you whether) of your agreeable +subject. But perhaps they either did not occur to your memory; or, which +is the same thing, (<i>quoad lectorem</i>) you were entirely ignorant of +them, but which take as follow.</p> + +<p>First and foremost, amongst your philosophers, you have taken no +notice of the stupendous Des Cartes, with his wonderful system of +whirlpools (vortices) and particles, cubic, conic, striate, oblong, +globular, hooked, crooked, spiral and angular: for who the devil but a +mere tipsy, giddy brains, could have dished up such a confounded +hotch-potch and gallimatias of whimsical rotations, or fancied that the +whole earth whirled round like a town-top, had not <i>Vinorum materia +subtilis</i>, the circling effluvia +<span class = "pagenum">195</span> +of <i>Liber Pater</i>, abundantly invaded his capital regions.</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p class = "indent">So have I seen in days of yore a dame,</p> +<p>At Winchester, who seventy winters knew,</p> +<p>Not more nor less, my mistress then yclept,</p> +<p>Hight Margaret, deceas’d long since I trow,</p> +<p>Whose fate I thus bemoan’d in song sublime.</p> +<p class = "indent">She’s gone, alas! the beauteous nymph is dead,</p> +<p>Dead to my hopes, and all my eager wishes:</p> +<p>Such is the state of poor unhappy man,</p> +<p>All things soon pass away, nought permanent,</p> +<p>That rolls beneath the vortex of the moon.</p> +<p>So when we’ve screw’d up to the highest Peg<a class = "tag" name = +"tagPS_1" id = "tagPS_1" href = "#notePS_1">1</a></p> +<p>Our ample lines of future happiness,</p> +<p>Some disappointments dire, or chance disastrous,</p> +<p>Snaps the extended chords. Oh! then farewell,</p> +<p>No more shall visual ray of form acute</p> +<p>Affect her wondrous mien. Farewell those lips</p> +<p>Of sapphire tincture, gums of crocus die</p> +<p>Freed from th’ungrateful load of cumbrous teeth.</p> +<p>Mantle farewell, of grograin brown compos’d,</p> +<p>Studded with silver clasp in number plural:</p> +<p>With jacket short, so famous, tory red,</p> +<span class = "pagenum">196</span> +<p>Not hemm’d, but bound about with good galloon</p> +<p>Of deepest mazarine (delightful hue!)</p> +<p>Farewell (I sighing speak) those non-such shoes</p> +<p>Of obfusc colour (heel of form cylindrous)</p> +<p>Worn only upon days non-ferial.</p> +<p>In love’s true knot of verdant ferrit tied.</p> + +<p class = "stanza indent"> +But Oh! farewell, a long and last farewell,</p> +<p>To large Ampull with vital water fraught,</p> +<p>Wherein the effluvia soft and delicate</p> +<p>Of dulcet aniseseed (not coriander)</p> +<p>In its capacious rim of form anguillar</p> +<p>Whirl in sweet vortex. Hence it was observ’d,</p> +<p>The subtile matter, when in throat retir’d,</p> +<p>Kept still its roulant quality, and oft</p> +<p>Would mount in circling spires to pericranium</p> +<p>Of she-philosopher, when in elbow chair,</p> +<p>Deep and profound, would the grave matron reve,</p> +<p>And learnedly pronounce (like great <span class = +"smallcaps">Renatus</span><a class = "tag" name = "tagPS_2" id = +"tagPS_2" href = "#notePS_2">2</a>)</p> +<p>With equal verity the world turns round.</p> +</div> + +<p>Secondly and foremost, you should have added at the end of the +philosophers chapter, the song of the Tippling Philosophers, which I +send you here enclosed.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">197</span> +<p>The bookseller to whom I mentioned this, fancied truly, that you +might think it too mean and trifling to insert. But without troubling +myself to know, whether this be your sentiment, or whether he spoke this +of his own head, I shall trouble myself to tell you, as this song +is taken from an excellent French one, which you may find in a very +famous book<a class = "tag" name = "tagPS_3" id = "tagPS_3" href = +"#notePS_3">3</a>, and which (to follow your method) you may know +by the note at the bottom. The song (whether you have ever seen it, or +not, I neither know, nor do I care) is as follows, and will go with +the same tune as the English (if I am not mistaken).</p> + + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "notePS_1" id = "notePS_1" href = "#tagPS_1">1.</a> +You must remember my Mrs.’s name was Margaret.</p> + +<p><a name = "notePS_2" id = "notePS_2" href = "#tagPS_2">2.</a> +Des Cartes’s christian name.</p> + +<p><a name = "notePS_3" id = "notePS_3" href = "#tagPS_3">3.</a> +Fureteriana, p. 205.</p> +</div> + + + + +<span class = "pagenum">198</span> +<h3><a name = "chanson" id = "chanson">CHANSON A BOIRE.</a></h3> + + +<div class = "verse"> +<h5>I.</h5> + +<p>Je cherche en vin la vérité,</p> +<p class = "indent">Si le vin n’aide a ma foiblesse,</p> +<p>Toute la docte antiquité</p> +<p class = "indent">Dans le vin puisa la sagesse.</p> +<p>Oui c’est par le bon vin que le bon sens eclate</p> +<p>J’en atteste Hypocrate,</p> +<p>Qui dit qu’il <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘fait’">faut</ins> a chaque mois</p> +<p>Du moins s’enivrer une fois.</p> + +<h5>II.</h5> + +<p>Socrate cet homme discret</p> +<p class = "indent">Que toute la terre revere,</p> +<p>Alloit manger au cabaret</p> +<p class = "indent">Quand sa femme etoit en colere.</p> +<p>Pouvons-nous mieux faire que d’imiter Socrate</p> +<p>Et de suivre Hypocrate,</p> +<p>Qui dit, &c.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum">199</span> +<h5>III.</h5> + +<p>Platon est nommé le divin</p> +<p class = "indent">Parce qu’il etoit magnifique,</p> +<p>Et qu’il regala de son vin</p> +<p class = "indent">La cabale philosophique.</p> +<p>Sa table fût toujours splendide et delicate,</p> +<p>Il suivit Hypocrate,</p> +<p>Qui dit, &c.</p> + +<h5>IV.</h5> + +<p>Aristotle bûvoit autant,</p> +<p class = "indent">Et nous avons lieu de le croire</p> +<p>De ce <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘qu’ Alexandre’">qu’Alexandre</ins> le grand,</p> +<p class = "indent">Son disciple, aimoit tant a boire,</p> +<p>Qu’il degela cent fois sur les bords de l’Euphrate</p> +<p>En suivant Hypocrate,</p> +<p>Qui dit, &c.</p> + +<h5>V.</h5> + +<p>L’on veut que Diogene aimoit l’eau,</p> +<p class = "indent">Mais il n’eut point cette folie,</p> +<p>Il se logea dans un tonneau</p> +<p class = "indent">Pour sentir le gout de la lie.</p> +<p>Et pour mieux boire au pot, il jetta la sa jatte</p> +<p>Et tint pour Hypocrate,</p> +<p>Qui dit, &c.</p> + + +<span class = "pagenum">200</span> +<h5>VI.</h5> + +<p>Democrite près de sa fin,</p> +<p class = "indent">Par une invention jolie,</p> +<p>En flairant seulement le vin,</p> +<p class = "indent">De trois jours prolonga sa vie.</p> +<p>Le vin retarde plus la mort, qu’il ne la <ins class = "correction" +title = "text reads ‘háte’">hâte</ins>,</p> +<p>Temoin notre Hypocrate,</p> +<p>Qui dit, &c.</p> + +<h5>VII.</h5> + +<p>Heraclite toujours etoit</p> +<p class = "indent">En pleurs a <ins class = "correction" title = "text reads ‘cè’">ce</ins> que dit l’histoire,</p> +<p>Mais ce que le vin lui sortoit</p> +<p class = "indent">Par les yeux à force de boire.</p> +<p>Par ce remede seul il guerissoit sa rate</p> +<p>Comme ordonne Hypocrate,</p> +<p>Qui dit, &c.</p> + +<h5>VIII.</h5> + +<p>Epicure sans contredit,</p> +<p class = "indent">De bons bûveurs est le vrai pere,</p> +<p>Et sa morale nous induit</p> +<p class = "indent">Au plaisir, a la <ins class = "correction" title = +"text reads ‘bônne’">bonne</ins> chere.</p> +<p>En vain l’homme ici bas d’un autre bien se flatte;</p> +<p>Suivons donc Hypocrate,</p> +<p>Qui dit, &c.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">201</span> +<h5>IX.</h5> + +<p>Esope quelque fois la nuit,</p> +<p class = "indent">De complot avec la servante,</p> +<p>Chalumoit sans faire de bruit</p> +<p class = "indent">Les tonneaux de son maitre Xante.</p> +<p>Il en eut mis dix pots sous sa grosse omoplate,</p> +<p>Il suivit Hypocrate,</p> +<p>Qui dit, &c.</p> + +<h5>X.</h5> + +<p>Galen, ce fameux docteur</p> +<p class = "indent">En traittant du jus de la vigne,</p> +<p>Dit qu’il faut defendre le cœur</p> +<p class = "indent">Contre la qualité maligne</p> +<p>Qui trouble nos humeurs, les altere et les gâte</p> +<p>Et rapporte Hypocrate,</p> +<p>Qui dit, &c.</p> +</div> + + + + +<span class = "pagenum">202</span> +<h3><a name = "philosophers" id = "philosophers"> +THE <ins class = "notation" title = "spelling unchanged">TIPLING</ins> +PHILOSOPHERS.</a></h3> + + +<div class = "verse"> +<h5>I.</h5> + +<p>Diogenes, surly and proud,</p> +<p class = "indent">Who snarl’d at the Macedon youth,</p> +<p>Delighted in wine that was good,</p> +<p class = "indent">Because in good wine there is truth;</p> +<p>But growing as poor as a Job,</p> +<p class = "indent">Unable to purchase a flask,</p> +<p>He chose for his mansion a tub,</p> +<p class = "indent">And liv’d by the scent of the cask, &c.</p> + +<h5>II.</h5> + +<p>Heraclitus ne’er would deny,</p> +<p class = "indent">To tipple and cherish his heart,</p> +<p>And when he was maudlin he’d cry,</p> +<p class = "indent">Because he had empty’d his quart:</p> +<p>Tho’ some are so foolish to think</p> +<p class = "indent">He wept at men’s folly and vice,</p> +<p>’Twas only his fashion to drink</p> +<p class = "indent">Till the liquor flow’d out of his eyes.</p> + +<span class = "pagenum">203</span> +<h5>III.</h5> + +<p>Democritus always was glad</p> +<p class = "indent">Of a bumper to cheer up his soul,</p> +<p>And would laugh like a man that was mad,</p> +<p class = "indent">When over a good flowing bowl.</p> +<p>As long as his cellar was stor’d,</p> +<p class = "indent">The liquor he’d merrily quaff,</p> +<p>And when he was drunk as a lord</p> +<p class = "indent">At those that were sober he’d laugh.</p> + +<h5>IV.</h5> + +<p>Copernicus too like the rest,</p> +<p class = "indent">Believ’d there was wisdom in wine,</p> +<p>And thought that a cup of the best</p> +<p class = "indent">Made reason the better to shine.</p> +<p>With wine he’d replenish his veins,</p> +<p class = "indent">And make his philosophy reel,</p> +<p>Then fancy’d the world, like his brains,</p> +<p class = "indent">Turn’d round like a chariot wheel.</p> + +<h5>V.</h5> + +<p>Aristotle, that master of arts,</p> +<p class = "indent">Had been but a dunce without wine,</p> +<p>And what we ascribe to his parts,</p> +<p class = "indent">Is due to the juice of the vine.</p> +<span class = "pagenum">204</span> +<p>His belly most writers agree,</p> +<p class = "indent">Was as big as a watering-trough,</p> +<p>He therefore leap’d into the sea,</p> +<p class = "indent">Because he’d have liquor enough.</p> + +<h5>VI.</h5> + +<p>Old Plato, that learned divine,</p> +<p class = "indent">He fondly to wisdom was prone,</p> +<p>But had it not been for good wine,</p> +<p class = "indent">His merits had never been known;</p> +<p>By wine we are generous made,</p> +<p class = "indent">It furnishes fancy with wings,</p> +<p>Without it we ne’er shou’d have had</p> +<p class = "indent">Philosophers, poets, or kings.</p> +</div> + + +<p class = "space"> +Thirdly and lastly, I wish in Chap. XXIII. in your answer to the +objection, “That one cannot trust a man that gets drunk,” you had been +pleased to have taken notice of the taciturnity and continency of the +right worshipful the free masons in this respect. For though otherwise +they are <i>free</i> enough of speech, yet I do assure you, as to +secrets, though some of them love the creature very heartily, and +carouse abundantly, yet has it never been known, though never so +fuddled, (for free masons will get fuddled,) that they +<span class = "pagenum">205</span> +ever discovered any of their secrets. This is irresistible, +irrefragable, irrefutable, or if you will, to speak (<i>norunt +dialectici</i>) <i>in stylo infinito</i>, non-resistible, +non-refragable, and non-refutable, and, indeed, is my <i>Argumentum +palmare Scotisticum</i>.</p> + +<p>But, and Fourthly also, and Finally, you will give me leave to remark +to you, That in relation to St. Boniface’s cup, which you take notice of +in Chap. XI. p. 68, l. 13, I do assure you, sir, the practice +was some years ago, to my certain knowledge, much in vogue, (and, as I +am credibly informed, is still wonderfully catholic,) and, by the bye, +take the following relation.</p> + +<p>In the beginning of the last wars, when I was very young, I had +the misfortune to be prisoner in Luxembourg, and not too civilly treated +by the governor, the morose Count Dautel. Close confinement, (though in +the postmaster’s house,) with the unusual smell of the stoves, (for it +was in the cold month of March,) made me very ill, and worse, in all +probability, should have been, had I not obtained the liberty of the +town, which, after many fruitless solicitations, I despaired, from +the ill-natured governor, nor should ever have had, +<span class = "pagenum">206</span> +were it not by the pressing instance of Father Cripps, a German +Franciscan friar, of the convent of Luxembourg, whom they called there +Heer<a class = "tag" name = "tagTP_1" id = "tagTP_1" href = +"#noteTP_1">1</a> Cripps, being confessor to the governor, and having +been once sent on a message of moment from him to the king of Spain, +Philip the Fifth, now reigning.</p> + +<p>This Father was really a good man, and a man of honour; him I gained +by the good-nature of the postmaster, whose son was then in his +noviceship, in the noviciate of their Order at Ulflingen. I need +not tell you, that by noviceship is meant that year of probation, which +those who have a mind to enter into any religious order in the church of +Rome, must pass through, before they can be professed, or take their +vows. This you, who have been abroad, must know as well as I.</p> + +<p>This good father, with much ado, obtained what I desired from the +governor, who he said was, <i>homo mirabilis in negotiis suis</i>, +which, by the +<span class = "pagenum">207</span> +sequel of his discourse, I understood signified, a very +strange man in his affairs. Gratitude obliged me to invite this reverend +father to a glass of Rhenish, the wine of the country, which, he frankly +accepted of in the afternoon, and, indeed, drank very plentifully, more +Germanorum, as you have described. But though he would drink largely as +well as his companion, yet I must own, that in none of the many merry +bouts we had together (for he visited me very often afterwards, as I did +him, I never saw him so far advanced as to lose his reason) he +never failed a large glass brimful to St. Boniface, which he drank to +the pious memory of the good Father, <i>ad piam memoriam boni +patris</i>, and sometimes only to the good Father, <i>ad bonum +patrem</i>. I found afterwards the same laudable custom of St. +Boniface’s cup in the Low Countries, France and Italy, &c. amongst +the religious.</p> + +<p>And now, before I subscribe myself,</p> + +<div class = "rightside"> +<p class = "center">Sir,</p> + +<p class = "center">Your most obedient, &c.</p> +</div> + +<p>give me leave to tell you, that the French religious, who do not +speak much Latin, drink healths in their own language. But I was +surprised, +<span class = "pagenum">208</span> +when I heard in a certain monastery every one of the fathers drink a +full glass to each other in these words, “a bumper,” as I thought. +I am obliged to your reverence (reverend father, said I to the +procurator, who sat next me, and drank to me in the same words) in +drinking in our country language, you do me a great deal of honour. It +may be your country phrase, said the prior to me, very gravely, for what +I know; your countrymen make use of a great many of our words, but the +thing itself, let the word (or <i>vox significans</i>) be what it +will, the thing (or <i>res significata</i>) is very laudable, and +every one will practise, who has any respect for the sacred see, holy +church, and the good of his own soul. Did you never hear of the +indulgences that the good father, holy pope St. Boniface, has granted to +such as drink his cup, and which we have just now piously done? +I ask your reverence’s pardon, reverend father, said I, +I thought we had only been drinking a bumper to one another. +<i>Seulement au bon pere</i>! replied he a little warmly (for the +conversation was all in French, and which word I till then mistook for a +bumper.) Why, that is all, said he, <i>mais</i> (continued +<span class = "pagenum">209</span> +he) <i>c’êtoit au bon pere</i> Saint Boniface. You see, sir, the +<i>double entendre</i><a class = "tag" name = "tagTP_2" id = "tagTP_2" +href = "#noteTP_2">2</a>, and that drinking of bumpers, which some +precisians have ignorantly called profane, is a practice very orthodox +and catholic.</p> + +<p><i>Heigh Church militant, rare Church militant, dainty Church +militant, O</i>!</p> + +<p><i>Dub. Dub. Dub. Dub a dub. Dub. Dub.</i></p> + +<p class = "inset"> +<i>Tan. Tan. Tan. Tan. tara rara ra.</i></p> + +<div class = "inset"> +<p class = "inset"> +<i>Adieu, mon tres-cher,</i></p> +</div> + +<div class = "center"> +<p><i>Votre ami tres-affectioné</i></p> + +<p><i>&</i></p> + +<p><i>Valet bien humble</i></p> +</div> + +<table> +<tr class = "smaller"> +<td class = "center" width = "33%">May 1, 1723,<br> +From my Garret in<br> +Bandy-legged Walk.</td> +<td width = "33%"> </td> +<td class = "right">F. SANS-TERRE.</td> +</tr> +</table> + +<p><i>P.S.</i> I paid the waterman six-pence.</p> + +<h6>FINIS.</h6> + +<div class = "footnote"> +<p><a name = "noteTP_1" id = "noteTP_1" href = "#tagTP_1">1.</a> +Heer, in High Dutch, is the same as Monsieur in French, and is given to +persons of the highest destinction.</p> + +<p><a name = "noteTP_2" id = "noteTP_2" href = "#tagTP_2">2.</a> +The transition from <i>au bon pere</i>, which is pure French, to a +<i>bumper</i>, is very natural, and infinitely more so, than that golden +pippin should be derived from Cooper, which was said to be effected, in +process of time, after this manner, Cooper, Hooper, Roper, Diaper, +Napkin, Pipkin, King Pepin, Golden Pippin.</p> +</div> + +</div> +<!-- end div maintext --> + +<hr> + +<div class = "advert"> + +<h4><i>Lately published by <span class = "smallcaps">C. +Chapple</span>,<br> +Pall Mall</i>.</h4> + +<hr class = "tiny"> + +<p class = "hanging"> +Embellished with an interesting Frontispiece, designed by Craig, and +engraved by Rhodes, price 7s. extra boards, small 8vo.</p> + +<p class = "space"> +1. THE TEST OF VIRTUE, and other Poems.</p> + +<p class = "center"> +By the late Miss P. Barrel.</p> + +<p class = "space"> +2. RELIGIONISM, or POPULAR PREACHERS, alias PULPITEERS, a Satire, +price 4s. boards.</p> + +<p class = "space"> +3. POETICAL PANTHEON; or, <ins class = "notation" title = "spelling unchanged">Fabulus</ins> +History of the Heathen Gods and illustrious Heroes, with Notes, and +embellished with twelve elegant Engravings, rendered into easy Verse. +By W. R. Johnson, A.M. price 6s. extra boards.</p> + +<p class = "space"> +4. POEMS; chiefly Comic and Hudibrastic, containing Burlesque +Translations, Dramatic Pieces, and Miscellanies. By W. C. Oulton, +Esq. With a Portrait of the Author, Price 9s. boards.</p> + +<p>This volume includes some Dramas, Addresses, Songs, &c. which +have been performed, spoken, and sung at the different Theatres.</p> + +<p class = "space"> +5. LOVE OUTRIGHT!!! By a Lady. Small 4to. price 7s. extra boards.</p> + +<p class = "space"> +6. THE BEAUTIES OF THE ANTI-JACOBIN, or WEEKLY EXAMINER; containing the +whole of the excellent Poetry, and the permanent Parts of the Prose of +that highly esteemed Work. 1 vol. demy 12mo. 5s. boards.</p> + +<p class = "space"> +7. LOVE’S LYRICS; or, CUPID’S CARNIVAL; original and translated. By +J. Scott Byerley, Esq.</p> + +<p class = "center"> +“Frustra laborat, qui omnibus placere studet.”</p> + +<p>small 8vo. price 7s. extra boards.</p> + +</div> +<!-- end div advert --> + +<div class = "endnote"> +<h4>Transcriber’s Notes</h4> + +<h5><a name = "endnote" id = "endnote">About the Book</a></h5> + +<p>The <i>Encomium Ebrietatis</i> was originally published in 1714 as +“Eloge de l’Yvresse” by Albert-Henri de Sallengre, and translated in +1723 by Robert Samber with the present title. The 1812 edition updates +the spelling and punctuation, and omits part of the title page (below), +but is otherwise the same text.</p> + +<!-- original edition (1910 rpt of 1723) TIA http: +//www.archive.org/details/ebrietatisencomi00sall --> + +<p>Title page of 1723 edition from 1910 reprint (the word “facsimile” is +used loosely):</p> + +<p class = "center"> +<img src = "images/title_fac.png" width = "283" height = "576" +alt = "see title page"></p> + +<p>Paragraph omitted from 1812 title page:</p> + +<p class = "inset"> +Confirmed by the example of heathens, Turks, infidels, primitive +Christians, saints, popes, bishops, doctors, philosophers, poets, free +masons, and other men of learning in all ages</p> + +<h5>Spelling of Names</h5> + +<p>Variant spellings have generally not been noted. Common patterns +include:</p> + +<p class = "inset"> +Final “e” omitted: Jerom, Augustin<br> +Simple “e” for “ae” or “æ”: Lacedemonia, Cecilius, Megera, Eschylus<br> +French forms: Gascogn, Trimalchion</p> + +<h5>Additional Footnote</h5> + +<p><a name = "endnoteA" id = "endnoteA" href = "#endtagA">A.</a> +Greek quotation as printed (errors in <b>boldface</b>):</p> + +<div class = "verse"> +<p class = "indent2">φεύ τ<b>ί</b>νες <b>ὔ</b>δωρ</p> +<p>πί<b>υ</b>ουσι μανίην σώφρονα μαινόμενοι.</p> +<p class = "indent2">pheu tines <b>u</b>dôr</p> +<p>pi<b>u</b>ousi maniên sôphrona mainomenoi.</p> +</div> + +<p>Some errors apply only to accentuation. The 1723 edition, or its +reprint, has far more errors.</p> + +</div> + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ebrietatis Encomium, by +Boniface Oinophilus and Albert-Henri de Sallengre + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK EBRIETATIS ENCOMIUM *** + +***** This file should be named 29188-h.htm or 29188-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/9/1/8/29188/ + +Produced by Louise Hope, Curtis Weyant and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by the Posner Memorial Collection +(http://posner.library.cmu.edu/Posner/)) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Ebrietatis Encomium + or, the Praise of Drunkenness + +Author: Boniface Oinophilus + Albert-Henri de Sallengre + +Translator: Robert Samber + +Release Date: June 21, 2009 [EBook #29188] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK EBRIETATIS ENCOMIUM *** + + + + +Produced by Louise Hope, Curtis Weyant and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by the Posner Memorial Collection +(http://posner.library.cmu.edu/Posner/)) + + + + + + + +[Transcriber's Note: + +This text is intended for users whose text readers cannot use the "real" +(Unicode/UTF-8) version. A few letters such as "oe" have been unpacked, +and curly quotes and apostrophes have been replaced with the simpler +"typewriter" form. Greek quotations have been transliterated and shown between +marks+. + +This book was originally published in 1714 as "Eloge de l'Yvresse" +by Albert-Henri de Sallengre, and translated in 1723 by Robert Samber +with the present title. The 1812 edition updates the spelling and +punctuation, and omits part of the title page (see Errata), but is +otherwise the same text. + +In the original text, footnotes were identified with * and other marks. +For this e-text they have been numbered from 1 within each chapter. +Footnotes added by the transcriber are identified with letters [1a] and +[[double brackets]]. The word "possibly" means that an attribution +exists but the transcriber has not personally seen the source text. + +Typographical errors are listed at the end of the e-text. Unless +otherwise noted, quotation marks are as printed.] + + * * * * * + * * * * + * * * * * + + [Illustration: VIVIMUS DUM BIBIMUS] + + + + + _EBRIETATIS ENCOMIUM_: + + or, the + PRAISE + of + DRUNKENNESS: + + Wherein Is Authentically, + and + Most Evidently Proved, + + THE NECESSITY + of + FREQUENTLY GETTING DRUNK; + + And, That the Practice Is Most Ancient, + Primitive, and Catholic. + + + By + BONIFACE OINOPHILUS, + De Monte Fiascone, A. B. C. + + + Vinum laetificans cor hominis. + Narratur et prisci Catonis, + Saepe mero caluisse virtus. --HOR. + + + _LONDON:_ + Printed For C. Chapple, Pall Mall. + + 1812. + + + + +Harding & Wright, Printers, St. John's Square, London. + + + + +EBRIETATIS ENCOMIUM: + +OR, THE + +PRAISE OF DRUNKENNESS + + + + +THE + +PREFACE. + + +If ever preface might serve for an apology, certainly this ought to do +so. The bare title of the book is enough to have it universally cried +down, and to give the world an ill opinion of its author; for people +will not be backward to say, that he who writes the Praise of +Drunkenness, must be a drunkard by profession; and who, by discoursing +on such a subject, did nothing but what was in his own trade, and +resolved not to move out of his own sphere, not unlike Baldwin, +a shoe-maker's son, (and a shoe-maker), in the days of yore, who +published a treatise on the shoes of the ancients, having a firm +resolution strictly to observe this precept, _Ne sutor ultra crepidam_. + +To this I answer, I am very well contented, that the world should +believe me as much a drunkard, as Erasmus, who wrote The Praise of +Folly, was a fool, and weigh me in the same balance. + +But some will say, what good can a man propose to himself in being a +panegyrist for drunkenness? To solve this difficulty I shall make use of +a comparison. + +M. Pelisson, in his History of the French Academy, says, that Menage did +not compose that famous Requete des Dictionaires, in which he ridicules +all the academics, on account of any aversion he had to them, but purely +to divert himself, and not to lose the witty turns that came into his +head upon that subject. In the same manner, I declare that I did not +undertake this work on account of any zeal I have for wine, you must +think, but only to divert myself, and not to lose a great many curious +remarks I have made upon this most catholic liquid. + +It may farther be objected, that this work is so stuffed with +quotations, that they hinder the book itself from being seen; like what +I heard say of a country fellow, who complained when he left London, +that he could not see it for the houses. As an excuse for all the +others, I shall make use of one quotation more, and this I shall borrow +from Mr. Bayle.[1] "There is no room to doubt," says he, "but some +readers will judge, that there are a little too many quotations in this +work, which is no less a disorder, they will say, than what happens in +some cities, where the strangers are more numerous than the citizens. +But of what importance is it to travellers, that such disorder appears +in any country, provided they find in it honest folks. There is no +reason why reading may not be compared to travelling. We should +therefore be very little concerned, whether, according to the ancient +country frugality, we are entertained with what is of its proper growth; +or if, instead of the flesh of domestic animals, and the fruits of our +own vineyards and gardens, we are served with what comes from the +market. That which really is of consequence is, that the meat be +wholesome and well dressed, and the wine good, &c. _Unde habeat quaerat +nemo, sufficit habere._" + +As to the rest, I am very far from the sentiments of a certain writer, +who having found in his book _one_ fault only, consulted one of his +friends, whether he should put down Errata or Erratum. For my part, +I subscribe with all my heart to the Errata of Benserade, and in his +words frankly own, that + + Pour moy, parmi des fautes innombrables, + Je n'en connois que deux considerables, + Et dont je fais ma declaration, + C'est l'entreprise et l'execution, + A mon avis fautes irreparables, + En ce volume. + + Though num'rous faults I see in this small book, + (And so may any one that will but look), + I know but _two_ of much consideration, + Of which I here make public declaration, + The _undertaking_ and the _execution_, + Faults too extravagant for absolution. + + + [Footnote 1: Pref. des Rep. aux Quest. d'un Pr. T. 1.] + + + + +CONTENTS. + + Page. + CHAP. I. That one must be Merry 1 + CHAP. II. That Wine drives away Sorrow, and excites Mirth 16 + CHAP. III. That it is good for one's Health + to get Drunk sometimes 29 + CHAP. IV. That old People ought to get Drunk sometimes 35 + CHAP. V. That Wine creates Wit 38 + CHAP. VI. That Wine makes one Eloquent 46 + CHAP. VII. That Wine acquires Friends, and reconciles Enemies 49 + CHAP. VIII. That the Custom of getting Drunk is most ancient 53 + CHAP. IX. That the Primitive Christians got Drunk 57 + CHAP. X. Of Churchmen 61 + CHAP. XI. Of Popes, Saints, and Bishops, + that used to get Drunk 67 + CHAP. XII. A Catalogue of some illustrious Topers 73 + CHAP. XIII. Of Philosophers that used to get Drunk 78 + CHAP. XIV. Of Poets that used to get Drunk 85 + CHAP. XV. Of Free Masons, and other learned Men, + that used to get Drunk 88 + CHAP. XVI. Of Nations that used to get Drunk 104 + CHAP. XVII. Of the Drunkenness of the Germans 112 + CHAP. XVIII. Of Nations that get Drunk with certain Liquors 121 + CHAP. XIX. Other Considerations in favour of Drunkenness 126 + CHAP. XX. An Answer to the Objection, That Drunkenness + causes infinite Evils 130 + CHAP. XXI. An Answer to the Objection, That the Mirth + which Wine inspires is chimerical 133 + CHAP. XXII. An Answer to the Objection, That one loses + one's Reason in getting Drunk 142 + CHAP. XXIII. An Answer to the Objection, That one cannot + trust a Man that gets Drunk 150 + CHAP. XXIV. An Answer to the Objection, That Drunkenness + makes one incapable of performing the Duties of civil Life 152 + CHAP. XXV. Burlesque, ridiculous, and out-of-the-Way + Thoughts against Drunkenness 157 + CHAP. XXVI. A ridiculous Aversion that some have to Wine 160 + CHAP. XXVII. Rigorous Laws against Wine and Drunkenness 164 + CHAP. XXVIII. Rules to be observed in getting Drunk. + I. Not too often. II. In good Company 169 + CHAP. XXIX. Third Rule, With good Wine 171 + CHAP. XXX. Fourth Rule, At convenient Times 177 + CHAP. XXXI. Fifth Rule, To force no one to drink 181 + CHAP. XXXII. Sixth Rule, Not to push Drunkenness too far 184 + POSTSCRIPT 193 + + + + + The + + PRAISE + + of + + DRUNKENNESS + + + + +CHAP. I. + +THAT ONE MUST BE MERRY. + + +If on one hand I have reason to fear that the title of this book will +offend the delicate ears of a great many, and make them say, that no +vice ever wanted its advocate, _Nullo vitio unquam defuit advocatus_; I +am not, perhaps, less exposed on the other to the criticisms of as many +folks, who will probably apply to me that which was said heretofore to +one in Lacedemonia, who had a mind to make an encomium on Hercules, viz. +Who ever blamed Hercules? + + Quis Herculem vituperavit? + +However, though I should have no readers at all, yet am I resolved to +continue my discourse at the hazard, in some manner, of imitating Pyrrho +the philosopher, who one day, as he was haranguing the people, seeing +himself abandoned by all his auditors, pursued very magnanimously his +declamation to the end. To enter, therefore, upon the present subject, +I lay down this as my first position, viz. That it is lawful to get +drunk sometimes. Which I prove thus:-- + +Sadness is in the highest degree prejudicial to health, and causes +abundance of distempers. There is no one ignorant of this truth. Joy +(or mirth) on the contrary, prevents and forces them away. It is, as the +Arabians say, the flower and spirit of a brisk and lively health[1]. Let +us run over, and examine all the different states of life, and we shall +be forced to own, that there is not one of them all but what is subject +to chagrin and sadness; and, consequently, that joy, or mirth, is most +necessary to men. Which very probably the philosopher had in his head, +when he defined man a risible animal. But be that as it will, one must +certainly look upon that maxim which recommends mingling of pleasures +with the affairs of life as a very wise one. + + Sometimes with mirth and pleasure lard your cares[2]. + +We shall confirm this precept by a beautiful passage out of Seneca, +whose writings most certainly contain no loose morality, and which is as +follows:-- "The soul must not be always bent: one must sometimes allow +it a little pleasure. Socrates was not ashamed to pass the time with +children. Cato enjoyed himself in drinking plentifully, when his mind +had been too much wearied out in public affairs. Scipio knew very well +how to move that body, so much inured to wars and triumphs, without +breaking it, as some now-a-days do, with more than womanly pleasures; +but as people did in past times, who would make themselves merry on +their festivals, by leading a dance really worthy men of those days, +whence could ensue no reproach, when even their very enemies had seen +them dance. One must allow the mind some recreation: it makes it more +gay and peaceful. And as it is not good too much to cultivate soil the +most fertile, least, by yielding too large crops, it may soon run to +decay and ruin: so in the same manner is the mind broken by a continued +labour and application. Those who respite a little, regain their +strength. Assiduity of labour begets a languor and bluntness of the +mind: for sleep is very necessary to refresh us, and yet he that would +do nothing else but sleep night and day, would be a dead man and no +more. There is a great deal of difference between loosening a thing, and +quite unravelling it. Those who made laws have instituted holydays, to +oblige people to appear at public rejoicings, in order to mingle with +their cares a necessary temperament. There have been several very great +men (as I have mentioned) who would set apart certain days of the month +for that end; and some others, who had every day set hours for work, and +other set hours for recreation. One must therefore allow the mind some +recreation. One must allow it some repose and leisure, which may serve +for new strength and nourishment. You must sometimes walk in the open +air, that the mind may exalt itself by viewing the heavens, and +breathing the air at your ease; sometimes take the air in your chariot, +the roads and the change of the country will re-establish you in your +vigour; or you may eat and drink a little more plentifully than usual. +Sometimes one must go even as far as to get drunk; not, indeed, with an +intention to drown ourselves in wine, but to drown our cares. For wine +drives away sorrow and care, and goes and fetches them up from the +bottom of the soul. And as drunkenness cures some distempers, so, in +like manner, it is a sovereign remedy for our sorrows[3]." + +It must be confessed, indeed, that properly speaking, this passage of +Seneca is levelled only against too great assiduity in labour and +business; the application, however, is very just, in relation to +chagrin, which causes in men's minds a far greater alteration than can +be excited by the most rude labour either of mind or body. + +The ancients had, besides this, another motive which induced them to +make merry, and pass their time agreeably. They considered the short +duration of their life, and for that reason endeavoured to make the best +use of it they could. It will be no difficult matter for me to prove +what I here advance. + +Every one knows that the Egyptians made use of a very extraordinary +custom in their festivals. They shewed to every guest a skeleton: this, +according to some, was to make them think of death. Others again assure +us, "That this strange figure was made use of to a quite contrary end; +that this image of death was shewn for no other intent but to excite +them to pass away their life merrily, and to employ the few days of its +small duration to the best advantage; as having no other condition to +expect after death, but that of this frightful skeleton[4]." + +This last sentiment is, without doubt, most probable; for what +likelihood is there that people would make reflections the most sad and +serious, at a time when they proposed only to divert, and make +themselves merry. This influence had the sight of a skull upon the mind +of Trimalchion, who Petronius[5] tells us, thus expressed himself on +that object:-- "Alas! alas! wretched that we are! what a nothing is poor +man! we shall be all like this, when Fate shall have snatched us hence. +Let us therefore rejoice, and be merry while we are here." The Latin is +much stronger:-- + + Heu! heu! nos miseros! quam totus homuncio nil est, + Sic erimus cuncti, postquam nos auferet orcus. + Ergo vivamus, dum licet esse, bene. + +A little before he said almost the same thing. "Alas! wine therefore +lives longer than man, let us then sit down and drink bumpers; life and +wine are the same thing." _Heu! heu! ergo diutius vivit vinum, quam +homuncio. Quare Tangomenas faciamus, vita vinum est._ This puts me in +mind of what Athenaeus[6] reports of an Egyptian, called Mycernius. This +man having been told by the oracle that he had but a very short time to +live, resolved to make the most of that short space, and to that end did +nothing but drink night and day. + +This thought of an approaching death is not so importunate as is +believed, since it is, says an[7] anonymous French author, a principal +beauty of an ancient hymn of the poet Cecilius. "Let me be assured, says +he, that I shall live six months, and I shall employ them so well, as to +die the seventh without any regret in the world." + +The same author goes on thus:-- "The moderns have not failed imitating +the elegant flights of the fine wits of the ancient Greeks and Romans. +I find, especially, that the Italians come nearer to them; perhaps, +because they are more proper than others to refine on pleasure. This is +the character of the nation, of the truth of which I shall give no other +proof than the last lines of an elegy, written by Samazarius, +a Neapolitan gentleman." The sense of which in English runs thus. + + Since vig'rous youth, all blooming, brisk, and gay, + Excites our tender souls to sport and play, + Let's taste ambrosial pleasures while we may. + Those joys to which our souls are most inclin'd, + And suit the throbbing passions of the mind. + Let's love while soft ecstatic fires engage, + And shew us lovers on the world's great stage, + Dull reason only suits with frightful age. + And see, she comes, for ever to destroy, + For ever all our bliss, and all our joy. + Unwelcome age comes on with swiftest pace; + Let's then prevent this wretched sad disgrace. + O may the terrors of approaching fate, + Excite new fires, inspire fresh vig'rous heat; + That love may sov'reign reign in ev'ry part, + And drive unworthy weakness from our heart. + Thrice happy, if surpriz'd by death one day, + Absorpt in sweetest bliss we die away. + +But to return to my subject. We are told for certain, that the Scythians +used to drink out of a skull; and probably they had the same design in +doing so as the Egyptians had in looking on their skeletons. But leaving +these objects, which cannot be very diverting, in what view soever one +may consider them, let us come to the Romans. Gruter tells us in his +Inscriptions[8], that they used to cry out at their feasts, + + AMICI, + DUM VIVIMUS, + VIVAMUS. + +That is, "Friends, while we live, let us be merry." For Raderus has +evidently made it appear, by several examples out of Catullus, Cecilius, +Varro, Anacreon, and other ancient authors, that _vivere_, or _to live_, +signifies to make merry, to give one's self up to all kinds of +pleasures, making good cheer, &c. + +I know not whether the Gascogns, who pronouncing the _V_ consonant like +_B_, instead of VIVIS _et regnas in secula seculorum_, say (as I have +been informed, how true it is I know not) BIBIS _et regnas in secula +seculorum_, are of the same sentiment with Raderus in this point: but +very probably that good honest German was, who in a kind of ecstasy over +a bottle cry'd out, + + O felices populi, quorum _vivere_ est _bibere_! + +However, to prove this, as also at the same time to confirm what has +been said above, in relation to the motives that induced people of old +times to make merry, I shall instance some passages of the ancients. But +first let us not omit this inscription in Gruter[9], which is not much +unlike the former. + + VIVE, HOSPES, DUM LICET, ATQUE VALE. + +"Be merry, landlord, and enjoy yourself while 'tis in your power, as for +the rest, adieu." + +Martial says somewhere, "Be merry to-day, depend not on to-morrow." + + Sera nimis vita est crastina, vive hodie. + +Catullus expresses much the same sentiments in these beautiful verses:-- + + "Vivamus -------- + Rumoresq; senum severiorum, + Omnes unius estimemus assis. + Soles occidere et redire possunt; + Nobis cum semel occidit brevis lux, + Nox est perpetua una dormienda."[9a] + + "Let us be merry -------- + And all the rigid cant of peevish age, + Count as poor straws that on the surface float. + The sun may roll his swift diurnal course, + And from the ocean raise again his head, + But when our glimm'ring lamp of life's expir'd, + One long perpetual night we then must sleep." + +Horace, in several places, says how we ought (according to him) to +employ to the best advantage the little time we have to live; but +especially in one of his odes, which in English would run thus. + + I. + + "All things hereto invite. Come, come, away, + Let's seize the present hours, nor vainly care + For future time, but wisely, only fear + To lose of life one short uncertain day, + Or moment, which in death must soon decay, + No human force can her strict laws withstand: + Her cruel rigour no one spares, + The blooming cheek, and hoary hairs, + Alike submit to her victorious hand. + O'er all she bears unbounded sway, + All her impartial scythe relentless mows: + Th' ill-manner'd tyranness no difference shows, + Betwixt imperial and plebeian clay. + + II. + + When we the dark and dismal beach + Of dreaded floods below shall reach, + And vain cold phantoms quiv'ring stand, + In those sad gloomy shades of night, + No Cynthia's charms will then command, + Nor Iris with her angel's voice delight; + Nor Doris with soft dying languors move. + These dreary realms exclude, alas! for ever love. + + III. + + Nor are there any boon companions _there_, + To laugh, and sing, and make good cheer: + There shall we taste no more that wondrous juice, + That nectar which the blessed vines produce, + The height of all our joy, and wishes _here_. + Nor those sweet entertainments gay, + When by the glass inspir'd so many kings, + We tope, and speak, and do heroic things, + And count ourselves more happy far than they. + These days of ours the fatal sisters spin, + To consecrate to love and wine, + Let's now, e'er 'tis too late begin. + Alas! without these pow'rs divine + What should one do with a vain useless thread? + What does it aught avail to breathe and move? + One had as good be dead, + Much better be no more, than not to drink and love." + +I shall close this chapter with one of the Anacreontic odes of the +famous Monsieur La Motte, author of the _Fables Nouvelles_, lately +translated into English under the title of "_Court Fables_." + + "Buvons, amis, le temps s'enfuit, + Menageons bien ce court espace. + Peut-etre une eternelle nuit + Eteindra le jour qui se passe. + + Peut-etre que Caron demain + Nous recevra tous dans sa barque, + Saisissons un moment certain. + C'est autant de pris sur la parque. + + A l'envi laissons-nous saisir, + Aux transports d'une douce ivresse: + Qu'importe si c'est un plaisir, + Que ce soit folie ou sagesse." + + "Let's drink, my friends, time flies away, + Let's husband well this little space; + For what we know, this very day + May to eternal night give place. + + Let's snatch from Fate one certain minute, + Perhaps to-morrow Charon's wherry, + May every mother's son take in it, + And waft us o'er the Stygian ferry. + + In giddy transports without measure + With wine lets drown all melancholy. + No matter if it be a pleasure, + Whether 'tis wisdom call'd, or folly." + + + [Footnote 1: Elle est, comme disent les Arabes, la fleur et + l'esprit de la sante vive et remuante.] + + [Footnote 2: Interpone tuis interdum gaudia curis.] + + [Footnote 3: Seneca de Tranquilitate.] + + [Footnote 4: Histoire de Sept Sages, &c. p. 137.] + + [Footnote 5: Chap. 34.] + + [Footnote 6: Lib. 10. cap. 10.] + + [Footnote 7: Reflex. sur les Morts Plais. p. 22.] + + [Footnote 8: P. 609.] + + [Footnote 9: P. 699.] + + [[Footnote 9a: Catullus V.1-6 ("Vivamus, mea Lesbia, atque + amemus")]] + + + + +CHAP. II. + +THAT WINE DRIVES AWAY SORROW AND EXCITES MIRTH. + + +Of all the means proper to drive away sorrow, and excite mirth in the +minds of men, wine is certainly the most agreeable and efficacious. + +For in the first place it banishes all manner of cares, and makes us +entirely forget them, producing the same effect as the waters of the +River Lethe on those souls which were destined to enter into other +bodies. + + ------------ Animae quibus altera fato + Corpora debentur, Lethei ad fluminis undam + Securos latices, et longa oblivio potant[1]. + + ------------ Those souls which Fate decrees + Shall other bodies take, upon the strand + Of Lethe sit, and drink secure the flood, + And long oblivion. + +For the same reason, undoubtedly, Isidore defined drunkenness a certain +forgetfulness caused in the mind, through indulgence of immoderate +drinking. His words are these:-- _Ebrietas est per quam menti quaedam +oblivio generatur ex superfluorum potuum indulgentia_[2]. + +A certain French poet[3] sings thus much in the same tune:-- + + "Oui, Thirsis, c'est le vin qui nous fait rejeunir, + Et qui bannit de nos pensees; + Le regret de choses possees, + Et le crainte de l'avenir." + + Yes, Thirsis, 'tis the vine's prolific juice + Can youth and beauty re-produce, + Banish the sad regret of former years, + And of futurity the fears. + +In the next place, wine is a sovereign remedy against a particular +species of sorrow or chagrin, I mean a sort of inward wearisomeness, +which the French call _ennui_. I shall explain myself a little farther, +and for my expositor I cannot make choice of a fitter person than Mr. de +St. Evremont[4], who, after having discoursed a little on this subject, +adds, "That good cheer with one's friends, is a sovereign remedy against +this kind of chagrin; for besides that conversation at such times +becomes more free and gay, it insensibly sweetens it. It is certain that +wine rouses up the forces of nature, and gives our soul a vigour capable +to drive away all sorts of uneasiness. I know very well that certain +morose people, at least externally so, and in appearance, will shew a +great deal of aversion for a remedy, the delights of which they do not, +however, too much despise. But all grimace aside. I don't trouble myself +with their ill-understood severities, since the most severe philosopher +in the world has advised us to make use of this remedy; and the most +morose of our illustrious men have submitted, if we may say so, their +most austere virtues to the charms of this sweet pleasure; and the most +well-bred people have not disdained its usage." + +In a word, (I must speak a little French now and then,) + + [5]Le vin fait que les annees, + Nous durent moins que les journees. + + Wine makes whole years to pass away, + And seem much shorter than one day. + +But it does more than all this, it even assuages choler; it is an +admirable cataplasm for rage. To cite a vast number of examples to prove +this important truth would be superfluous. Amongst the many illustrious +ones I could instance, I shall content myself to mention that of the +Emperor Maximin[6], who, having been declared an enemy to the people of +Rome, by the senate, fell into such a rage and fury, that no other way +could be thought on to bring him back to his natural temper than by +making him drunk. + +But let us return to the two principal qualities of wine, which consist +in driving away care and sorrow, and exciting mirth and joy. + +A certain French author[7] has a few verses on this subject, which, as +not _mal-apropos_, I shall here insert. Talking of the good qualities of +wine, he says,-- + + "Tu sais, mon cher Thirsis, qu'il a le privilege + D'etouffer les ennuis dont l'aigreur nous assiege. + Et que cette liqueur chasse de nos esprits, + Tous les facheux pensers dont nous sommes surpris, + C'est ce qui nous oblige a cherir la bouteille." + + You know, dear Thirsis, and full well you know, + To wine this privilege we owe, + It stifles all those sad invading cares + Which irksome chagrin ever wears. + + This sprightful liquid makes us brisk and gay, + And drives effectually away + Those thoughts vexatious that surprise our soul, + And makes us cherish the full bowl. + +Seneca, whom I have mentioned in the foregoing chapter, confirms what +has been said, "Sometimes," says he, "one must go even so far as +drunkenness; not, indeed, that it may drown us, but drown our cares: for +drunkenness washes away care, and moves the very bottom of the soul. And +as it is a sovereign remedy against some distempers, so is it a perfect +cure for heaviness and sorrow. _Nonnunquam usque ad ebrietatem +veniendum, non ut mergat nos, sed ut deprimat curas. Eluit enim curas, +et ab imo animae movet, et ut morbis quibusdam, ita tristitiae +medetur_[8]. On this account certainly it was, Pliny maintained that +Nepenthe, whose virtues Homer so much exaggerates, was nothing in the +world but generous wine. + +Horace, in like manner, insists that wine is the only proper expeller of +the most racking cares. + + ---------------- Neque + Mordaces aliter diffugiunt sollicitudines[9]. + + Nor otherwise are cank'ring cares remov'd. + +And thus advises the sage Plancus to have recourse to this remedy:-- + + "Sic tu sapiens finire memento + Tristitiam, vitaeque labores + Molli, Plance, mero."[9a] + + So, thou, sage Plancus, this _memento_ keep, + To lull the cares and toils of life asleep + With cordial juleps of old mellow wine; + The grand and universal anodyne. + +In another place he thus beautifully sounds the praises of +drunkenness:-- + + "Ebrietas quid non designat? operta recludit + Spes jubet esse ratas: in praelia trudit inertem, + Sollicitis animis onus eximit: addocet artes. + Facundi calices, quem non fecere disertum? + Contracta quem non in paupertate solutum."[9b] + + In drunkenness what pow'rful magic lies, + What's most envelop'd from researching eyes, + (Transparent thing!) it evidently shows, + The innocent no dark disguises knows. + By her commands our hopes maturely rise, + Push'd on to war the coward dauntless dies, + And sinking minds beneath unwieldy care, + Cast off the load, and move with sprightful air. + To her, all arts their origin must owe: + What wretch so dull but eloquent must grow, + When the full goblets with persuasive wine, + Inebriate with bright elegance divine, + The drunken beggars plume like proudest kings, + And the poor tipsy slave in fetters sings. + +After all this, will any one accuse me for a plagiary, and that I steal +from the most common places? No matter. I have company enough: do not +all modern authors do so? However, I shall not, for all that, pass over +in silence what Ovid has said of this same drunkenness. The passage is +this:-- + + "Vina parant animos, faciuntque coloribus aptos. + Cura fugit, multo diluiturque mero. + Tunc veniunt risus, tunc pauper cornua sumit, + Tunc dolor et curae, rugaque frontis abit. + Tunc aperit mentes, aevo rarissima nostro + Simplicitas, artes excutiente Deo."[9c] + +As I am nothing less than a poet, I shall not presume _to dance with the +Nine Sisters_, to make use of the thought of the ingenious Sarasin. +However, here follows an Ode of Anacreon, which may supply the place of +a translation of those verses of Ovid. + + I. + + When I hold a full glass in my hand, + I laugh and I merrily sing; + I think I have sov'reign command + And the treasures possess of a king. + + II. + + Let who will try their fate in the field, + In war all their days let them pass: + No arms but the bottle I'll weild, + Fill, boy, then, a thundering glass, + + III. + + If Bacchus the victory gain, + On the ground tho' I'm motionless laid; + All agree it, _a truth very plain_, + 'Tis better be _drunk_ than be _dead_. + +And very probably the Greek philosopher had wine in view, when he caused +an inscription to be made over his door in these words, in capitals, +"Here are remedies for all sorts of afflictions: here are cures for all +distempers of the soul." + +The philosopher so often quoted by Seneca, desired no more than bread +and cheese, to rival Jupiter in happiness. For my part, though I am no +less a philosopher, yet I desire nothing to effect this but good wine. +For when I take a hearty glass, I find myself so much transported with +joy, that I could almost cry out with that little fool in the Latin +comedy[10], "Now could I pardon any one that would kill me, so much +afraid am I lest some accident may trouble the purity of my happiness, +and mingle some ungrateful bitter with the exquisite sweets I now +enjoy." And, indeed, it is amongst bottles and glasses that one may +truly say, + + -------- "Mediis videat discumbere in astris, + Cum Jove, et Iliaca porrectum sumere dextra + Immortale merum[11]." + + Far from the earth remov'd in realms above, + I seem amongst the stars to sit with Jove: + Lolling in ease celestial, lie supine, + And taste from Ganymede immortal wine. + +And without doubt Asclepiades had all this in his head, when he +maintained that the gods produced nothing that equalled wine in +goodness. Philostratus is much of the same sentiment, who after having +taken notice of the edict of the Emperor Domitian, who forbad men to be +castrated, and vines to be planted, he adds, that this admirable emperor +did not reflect that he made the earth in some sort an eunuch, at the +same time that he spared men. + +Varro sounded the praise of drunkenness in terms no less pathetic. + + "Vino nil quicquam jucundius eluet, + Hoc continet coagulum convivii; + Hoc hilaritatis dulce seminarium + Hoc aegritudinem ad medendam invenerunt."[11a] + + Than wine no orient jewels finer play, + And dart more pleasantly their glittering ray. + This vital juice, the cream of all the feast, + Strong cement, close uniting every breast, + The sweet prolific seed of gay desires, + Bright mirth, and gen'rous amity inspires. + This was found out a certain remedy + To set mankind from all distempers free. + +Monsieur La Motte, whom I must ever admire for his inimitable Court +Fables, before mentioned, will furnish us with a beautiful ode to close +this chapter[12]. + + "Bacchus contre moi tout conspire, + Viens me consoler de mes maux: + Je vois au mepris de la lire + Couronner d'indignes rivaux. + + Tout me rend la vie importune + Une volage me trahit, + J'eus peu de bien de la fortune, + L'injustice me le ravit. + + Mon plus cher ami m'abandonne, + En vain j'implore son secours, + Et la calomnie empoisonne. + Le reste de mes tristes jours. + + Bacchus viens me verser a boire + Encore----bon----je suis soulage, + Chaque coup m'ote la memoire + Des maux qui m'avoient afflige. + + Verse encore----je vois l'allegresse + Nager sur le jus precieux. + Donne, redouble----O douce yvresse! + Je suis plus heureux que les dieux." + + Help, Bacchus, or I'm quite undone, + All things against my peace conspire; + Unworthy rivals many a one, + I find, despising song and lyre. + + My life's entirely irksome grown, + By an inconstant I'm betray'd, + On that small fortune, once my own, + Injustice has severely prey'd. + + Forsaken by my dearest friend, + In vain his succour I implore; + And calumnies rank poisons send, + And what is left of life devour. + + Bacchus, some wine; fill higher yet + Again----so----I some comfort find; + Each smiling glass makes me forget + Those evils that have rack'd my mind. + + Some more----I see gay images + On the rich surface sprightly move, + Fill double----O sweet drunkenness! + I'm happier than the gods above. + + + [Footnote 1: Virgil. AEneid. lib. vi. v. 713.] + + [Footnote 2: Lib. 3. Etymol.] + + [Footnote 3: Rec. Poes.] + + [Footnote 4: Miscel. vol. i.] + + [Footnote 5: Rec. de Poes.] + + [Footnote 6: Jul. Capit. Hist. Aug. Script. fol. p. 359.] + + [Footnote 7: Nicol. Rec. de Vers. p. 44.] + + [Footnote 8: Seneca de Tranquil.] + + [Footnote 9: Lib. i. ode 18.] + + [[Footnote 9a: Horace, _Odes_ I.vii.17-19.]] + + [[Footnote 9b: Horace, _Epistulae_ I.v.16-20.]] + + [[Footnote 9c: Ovid, _Ars Amatoria_ I.237-242.]] + + [Footnote 10: Nunc est profecto cum me patior interfici, ne hoc + gaudium aliqua contaminetur aegritudine. --_Eunuch._] + + [Footnote 11: Statii Sil. 2. lib. iv.] + + [[Footnote 11a: Varro, Menippean Satires, fragment from _Est + modus matulae_.]] + + [Footnote 12: Ode ix. Anacr.] + + + + +CHAP. III. + +THAT IT IS GOOD FOR ONE'S HEALTH TO GET DRUNK SOMETIMES. + + +Although mirth and joy be absolutely necessary to health, yet it must be +allowed that there are a great many pleasures very injurious and +prejudicial to it; and we should act with precaution in using those we +make choice of[1]. But this precaution is not necessary in those we seek +in the sweet juice of the grape. So far is drunkenness from prejudicing +our health, that, on the contrary, it highly preserves it. This is the +sentiment of the most able physicians. These worthy gentlemen are +arbiters of life and death. They have over us, _jus vitae et necis_. We +must therefore believe them. _Ergo_, let us heartily carouse. Every one +knows that Hippocrates, the prince of physicians, prescribes getting +drunk once a month, as a thing very necessary to the conservation of +health; for, according to him, in the words of a certain French +lady [2], + + "Une utile et douce chaleur + Fait qu'on pense au sortir de table + Avoir pris de cet or potable, + Qui triomphe des ans, qui chasse la douleur, + Qui fait tout, et qui par malheur + N'a jamais ete qu'une fable." + + When from the bottle, flush'd with wine, we rise, + The brisk effluvia brighten in our eyes; + This sweet and useful warmth still makes us think, + That cups of potable rich gold we drink, + Which baffles time, and triumphs over years, + Drives away grief, and sad perplexing cares; + Does all, and yet in fables sweet disguise, + O dire mishap! its only essence lies. + +"Avicenna and Rasis, most excellent physicians of Arabia, say[3], that +it is a thing very salutary and wholesome to get drunk sometimes." + +Monsieur Hofman confirms what has been just now said in relation to +Avicenna, and adds thereto the testimony of another physician. +"Avicenna," says he[4], "absolutely approves getting drunk once or twice +every month, and alleges for it physical reasons." --Dioscorides says, +"That drunkenness is not always hurtful, but that very often it is +necessary for the conservation of health." --Homer says, "That Nestor, +who lived so long, tossed off huge bocals of wine[5]." + +Monsieur Hofman believes also, that wine is an excellent preservative +against distempers, and of an admirable use in their cure. In like +manner, several divines believe, that there is no manner of harm in +getting drunk, when it is done for health's sake and not for pleasure. +In this class one may reckon Pere Taverne, a Jesuit[6]. These are his +words: "Drunkenness," says he, "is a mortal sin, if one falls into it +for pleasure only; but if one gets drunk for any honest end, as for +example, by direction of one's physician in order to recover health, +there is no manner of harm in it at all." + +But, however, not to digress too much from our subject, to preserve +their health the Africans drink a great deal of wine; and this they do +to help the digestion of the vast quantity of fruits they eat. + +Montaigne[7] tells us, that he heard Silvius, an excellent physician of +Paris, say, "That to keep up the powers of the stomach, that they faint +not, it would be very proper to rouze them up once a month by this +wholesome excess. And if we believe Regnier, a young physician does not +see so far as an old drunkard[8]. + +We also say with the French poet[9], + + "Si Bourdaloue[10] un peu severe + Nous dit: craignez la volupte + Escobar[10], lui dit on mon pere + Nous la permet pour la sante!" + + If Bourdaloue, somewhat severe, + Warns us to dread voluptuous sweets, + Good honest father Escobar, + To fuddle for one's health permits. + +And, by the bye, if the number of physicians, who used to get drunk, +proves any thing, I could insert a good round catalogue, amongst whom I +do not find any English doctors, for they are the most abstemious +persons in the world; however, being unwilling to trouble my gentle +reader with so long a bead-roll, I shall instance only two very +illustrious topers of the faculty. The first is no less a man than the +great Paracelsus, who used to get drunk very often; and the other is the +famous master Dr. Francis Rabelais, who took a singular pleasure to +moisten his clay; or to make use of one of his own expressions, _Humer +le piot_. + +I could, after these, mention Patin[11], who tells us, That when he gave +his public entertainment for his _decanat_, or deanship, at which +thirty-six of his colleagues assisted, he never saw in all his life so +much toping. From all which, however, one may very reasonably infer, +that so many able persons would never have drunk so much, had they not +thought it was no ways prejudicial to their health. + +To conclude, let any one allege this verse as a maxim, that + + Pocula non laedunt paucula, multa nocent. + + It does no harm to take a glass or two, + But in great numbers mighty ills accrue. + +And I shall do myself the honour to answer him with another verse, that +sometimes + + Una salus sanis multam potare salutem[12]. + + The only health to people hale and sound, + Is to have many a tippling health go round. + +And that this is true, witness the great Hippocrates, who says, + + That what to health conduceth best, + Is fuddling once a month at least[13]. + + + [Footnote 1: _Voluptates ut mel summo digito degustandae non plera + manu sumendae._ Dionys. Sophron. apud Philostr.] + + [Footnote 2: Mad. Deshoul. t. ii. ep. p. 104.] + + [Footnote 3: Div. Lec. de P. Messie, part ii. ch. 15.] + + [Footnote 4: Hofman, t. ii. 9 dissert. ch. 6.] + + [Footnote 5: Bocal, an Italian word, and signifies a pot or jug + holding about three pints.] + + [Footnote 6: Synopses Theolog. Pract.] + + [Footnote 7: Essays, lib. ii. cap. 2.] + + [Footnote 8: Satir.] + + [Footnote 9: Boileau.] + + [Footnote 10: The names of two jesuits, the former a famous + preacher, and the other as famous a casuist.] + + [Footnote 11: Esprit de Pat. p. 51.] + + [Footnote 12: Owen, Ep.] + [[John Owen (1564-1622): _possibly_ I.ii.42.]] + + [Footnote 13: + Qu'il faut a chaque mois. + Du moin s'enyvrer une fois. + Fureteriana.] + + + + +CHAP. IV. + +THAT OLD PEOPLE OUGHT TO GET DRUNK SOMETIMES. + + +Wine taken with some excess is excellent for old people. + + ---- Ubi jam validis quassatum est viribus aevi + Corpus et obtusis ceciderunt viribus artus[1]. + + When shaken by the powerful force of age + The body languid grows, and ev'ry joint + Its proper juice exhal'd, all feeble droops. + +And is not the reason plain? because it moistens their dry temperament, +and nourishes their radical moisture. Hence came the proverb, which +says, "That wine is the milk of old men[2]." Tirellus, in his history, +declares the same thing, when he says, "That wine is the nutriment of +natural heat[3]." Conformably to this truth that old man acted, of whom +Seneca makes mention, who being pressed to drink wine cooled in snow, +said, "That his age made him cold enough, and that he did not desire to +be more cold than he was[4]." Than which, certainly no answer could be +more just and true. + +Besides, the infirmities of an advanced age require some consolation and +diversion. Let us see what Montaigne says, who was not much given to +tippling; for he plainly says, that his gout and complexion were greater +enemies to drunkenness than his discourse. His words are these, "The +inconveniencies attending old age, which stand in need of some support +and refreshment, might with reason produce in me a desire of this +faculty, since it is as it were the last pleasure that the course of +years steals from us. The natural heat, say the boon companions, begins +first at the feet; this is the case of infancy; thence it ascends to the +middle region, where it continues a long while, and there produces in my +mind the only true pleasures of the corporal life; at last exhaling +itself like a vapour, it moves upwards, till it comes to the throat, +and there it makes its last little stay[5]." + +Athenaeus, after Theophrastus, says, That wine drives away those irksome +inquietudes to which old people are unhappily subject[6]. And to +conclude, the divine Plato assures us, that, "Wine is a medicine as well +for the body as the mind, the dryness of old people have great occasion +for this kind of moistening, and their severe genius of the brisk gaiety +inspired by wine, without which they would not be able to perform their +part in the concert, and consequently would be no longer useful members +in the commonwealth, which is no other ways supported and preserved than +by harmony." + + + [Footnote 1: Lucret. lib. iii.] + + [Footnote 2: Vinum lac senum.] + + [Footnote 3: Vina calidi innati pabula.] + + [Footnote 4: AEtas meo frigore contenta est.] + + [Footnote 5: Essays, lib. ii. cap. 2.] + + [Footnote 6: Lib. xi. cap. 7.] + + + + +CHAP. V. + +THAT WINE CREATES WIT. + + +As wine increases the quantity of animal spirits, by the fumes which it +sends to the brain, it is easy to comprehend that it cannot but be of +great advantage to dull and heavy wits; so that one may particularly +apply to them the common proverb, "Wine sets an edge to wit[1]." And the +emblem of Adr. Junius, in which he represents Bacchus as a youth with +wings on, and with this inscription, "Wine kindles wit[2]," agrees +admirably well with these people. But the application of both proverb +and emblem is no less just in relation to all the world; for it is most +certain, that the god Bacchus, by warming the thoughts, renders them +more acute, and inspires a greater plenty of witty sallies. For "Bacchus +had not the name of Lysian, or Opener, if I may use the term, bestowed +upon him for nothing but purely because he opens the mind, by putting it +into an agreeable humour, and renders it more subtile and judicious[3]." +For this reason it is grown into a proverb, That water-drinkers are not +near so knowing as those who drink wine[4]. + +Plutarch assures us, That wine collects and increases the powers of the +mind. He observes also, That it produces excellent effects on the minds +of persons, who, though naturally timid, want no penetration. Plato +maintains, as I have observed in the foregoing chapter, That wine warms +as well the mind as the body. Monsieur Hofman says a great deal more, +viz. That experience proves, that those climates which produce good +wine, produce also people that "have infinitely more wit than those of +the north, who drink nothing but beer. Gryllus believes, That the Greeks +were called fathers of wisdom, on account of the excellency of their +wine; and, that they lost their ancient lustre by reason of the Turks +rooting out their vines. The Heathens placed Pallas and Bacchus in the +same temple, to shew, that wine increased their wisdom, and that the +Gods were represented wiser than men, only because they drank nectar and +ambrosia." + +In respect of poets the world was always so sensible of the necessity +they lay under, of having their imagination roused by wine, that nobody +ever had any good opinion of the productions of a poet that drank water, +that _Non est Dythyrambus si aquam bibat_; and wine was called the poets +great horse. "There never were any excellent poets," says Mr. Bayle, +"that could versify, till after drinking pretty plentifully[5]." + +And if we believe Plato, "He could never open the gates of poesy till he +was a little beyond himself. The soul can speak nothing grand, or above +the common, if it be not somewhat agitated[6]." + +Horace[7], who knew by experience this truth, goes yet farther. + + Nulla placere diu, nec vivere carmina possint, + Quae scribuntur aquae potoribus. + + Poor water-drinkers sing an irksome tune, + Short-liv'd their numbers, and their airs jejune. + +Ovid bewailed himself very bitterly for want of wine in his exile. + + "Impetus ille sacer, qui vatum pectora nutrit + Qui prius in nobis esse solebat, abest."[7a] + + That sacred rage that feeds a poet's breast, + Common to me, is now no more possest. + +La Motte[8], my beloved Frenchman, has something not unlike it. + + "Loin une raison trop timide + Les froids poetes qu'elle guide + Languissent et tombent souvent. + Venez yvresse temeraire, + Transports ignorez du vulgaire + Tels que vous m'agitiez vivant." + + Away, too fearful reason, haste, be gone, + Those frozen poets, whom thy phantoms guide, + Languish, and often feebly slide, + Down to the lowest ebb of wretchless song, + Insipid notes, and lifeless numbers sing. + O come, sweet drunkenness, thou heady thing, + With transports to the vulgar herd unknown, + Which agitates my soul, and gives it wing. + With kind enthusiasms then ecstatic grown, + It takes unusual flights, sublimely soars, + Spurns the dull globe below, and endless worlds explores. + +One may very well apply to Bacchus, what the same gentleman says of the +graces in this ode[9]. + + "Tout fleurit par vous au Parnasse, + Apollon languit, et nous glace, + Sitot que vous l'avez quitte, + Mieux que les traits les plus sublimes + Vous allez verser sur mes rimes + Le don de l'immortalite. + + The sprightly influence you shed, + Bright constellation! makes Parnassus gay. + Apollo droops and hangs his head, + His frozen fingers know not how to play; + And we his sons the sad distemper find, + Which chills the fancy, and benumbs the mind, + When cruel you withdraw your magic ray. + You finely paint on ev'ry rhyme + Features most noble and sublime, + Resplendent all the images, + In rich immortal draperies. + You give me colours that can never die, + But baffle time, and live through all eternity. + +It is to wine we owe the productions of Eschylus and Anacreon, whose +muses were very chilly, till Bacchus warmed them. Aurelius, the sophist, +composed his best declamations in his cups. Herodes, called Saginatus +Orator, the fattened Orator, never talked better, than after drinking +pretty plentifully. And according to Horace, this was the case with +Ennius. + + "Ennius ipse pater nunquam nisi potus ad arma + Prosiluit dicenda ------------ [10]." + + Ennius himself ne'er sung of arms, + Martial exploits and wars alarms, + Till the good father's face did shine, + Enrich'd with ruby beams of wine. + +Alcaeus, the famous poet, never sat down to compose tragedy till he was +tipsy. The disciples of the great Paracelsus took the opportunity, when +he was fuddled, to make him dictate. The venerable Messire Francis +Rabelais composed over the bottle the acts and jests of Gargantua, +and his son Pantagruel, a work which gained him such great reputation. +"Pontius de Thiard, bishop of Chalons sur Saone, had greater obligations +to Bacchus than Apollo for his good verses; who, not reckoning what wine +he drank all day long, never slept without drinking a pretty large +bottle[11]." So true is it, that + + "A la fontaine ou s'enyvre Boileau + Le grand Corneille et le sacre troupeau + De ces auteurs que l'on ne trouve guere + Un bon rimeur doit boire a pleine eguyere, + S'il veut donner un bon tour au rondeau[12]." + + At that rich fountain where the great Boileau, + Corneille, Racine, to whom so much we owe, + Th' immortal Dryden, and the sacred band + Of those bright authors, whom we cannot find, + Whose names, (so does oblivion's power command,) + Alas! we no where know, + Supp'd largely to inebriate their mind. + Here a good versifier, fond of rhime, + Should swill, to make his jingling couplets chime. + + From hence, good natur'd B----d, arose your flame, + Hence your inimitable numbers came, + When you so prais'd his house and Buckingham. + +And certainly Cicero was much in the wrong, when he said, that "what +people do when they are drunk, is not done with the same approbation as +if they were sober; they hesitate, and often recall themselves, and +frame a weaker judgment of what they see[13]." But had he consulted +experience, he would have found that drunkenness, far from making people +fearful, inspires them with boldness and temerity. + + + [Footnote 1: Vinum acuit ingenium.] + + [Footnote 2: Vinum ingenii fomes.] + + [Footnote 3: Hist. des. vii. sag. p. 123.] + + [Footnote 4: Non idem sapere possunt qui aquam et qui vinum + bibunt.] + + [Footnote 5: Resp. aux Quest. d'un Prov. t. i. ch. 12.] + + [Footnote 6: Sive Platoni credimus, frustra poetices fores compos + sui pepulit. Non potest grande aliquid et supra caeteros loqui nisi + mota mens.] + + [Footnote 7: 1 Ep. xix. 3.] + + [[Footnote 7a: Ovid, _Ex Ponto_ IV.ii.25-26.]] + + [Footnote 8: La Motte, Ode Pind. 1.] + + [Footnote 9: Ode 2. Pindar.] + + [Footnote 10: Ep. xix. 7.] + + [Footnote 11: Menagiana, t. i. p. 384.] + + [Footnote 12: ---- p. 189.] + + [Footnote 13: Ne vinolenti quidem quae faciunt qua' sobrii, + hesitant, revocant se interdum, usque quae videntur, imbecillius + assentiuntur. Acad. Quest. lib. 4.] + + + + +CHAP. VI. + +THAT WINE MAKES ONE ELOQUENT. + + + What wretch so dull, but eloquent must grow, + When the full goblets with persuasive wine, + Inebriate with bright eloquence divine? + + Faecundi calices quem non fecere disertum?[a] + +Let us make a few commentaries on this verse of Horace. + +We read, that "the sages of Portugal having undertaken to convert those +of Melinda, gained as much upon them by wine as by reason, which, in the +end, facilitated the conquest of the whole country[1]." + +To draw a consequence from this, we say, That one must reasonably +believe, that wine gave those sages an eloquence necessary to convert +the people of Melinda, and them a necessary penetration to discover the +truth through the thick veils of their ignorance. + +Books of travels farther inform us, that "the priests of the kingdom of +Tibet, whom they call Lamas, drink a good quantity of wine on their days +of fasting and devotion, that they may have, to use their own words, the +tongue prompt and ready to say their orisons[2]." + +According to this doctrine, Palingenius was much in the wrong to say, +that wine makes churchmen uncapable to perform the duties of their +function. + + Nec bene tractabit vinosus sacra sacerdos[3]. + + No priest, who tipples wine that's good, + Will do his duty as he should. + +Surely our author never conversed much with the religious. The friers +would have told him, they never perform their office without taking a +choir cup. Experto crede Roberto, as the saying is. There is no false +Latin in this, says a good monk to me once upon a time, drawing from +under his cassock a double flask. You are much in the right on't, +brother Peter, said I, I believe as the church believes, and so--my +service to you, and here's to the pious memory of St. Boniface. And +indeed the vehicle proved capaciously orthodox. + +In relation to what hath been said I shall add a remark of the famous +M. Bayle. "It cannot be denied," says he, "that the christians of Europe +are subject to two great vices, drunkenness and lewdness. The first of +these reigns in cold countries, the other in hot. Bacchus and Venus +share these two climates between them. We find that the reformation +having divided this portion of christianity, that part which was subject +to Venus continues as it was, but the greatest part of what was subject +to Bacchus has renounced popery[4]." + +But you will say, what coherence has this remark with the matter in +question? Have a little patience, and you shall presently see the +application. I say then, that a thorough true blue hearty Protestant +would conclude from this quotation, that wine bestowed so much eloquence +and penetration to these northern people, as to put them into that happy +state, to discover the truth, and conquer all prejudices against it +whatsoever. But of this enough. + + Pon, pon; pata pon: tara rara, pon pon[5]. + + + [[Footnote a: Horace, _Epistulae_ I.v.19. (_Same passage as note + 2:9b._)]] + + [Footnote 1: Rem. sur Rabel. t. i. lib. 1. cap. 5.] + + [Footnote 2: Divers. cur.] + + [Footnote 3: Lib. iii. p. m. 43.] + + [Footnote 4: Bayle Dict. t. ii. p. 1163.] + + [Footnote 5: Racine.] + + + + +CHAP. VII. + +THAT WINE ACQUIRES FRIENDS, AND RECONCILES ENEMIES. + + +Friendship is a good so precious and valuable, and at the same time so +very rare, that one cannot take too much care in order to procure it. +The most efficacious means to do this is feasting. It is by eating and +drinking together that conversation becomes more easy and familiar; and, +to use the words of Monsieur de la Mothe le vayer, "We hold, that table +communion unites people's very souls, and causes the strictest +friendships." Unde Philotetius Crater[1]. And, in reality, can any thing +be more agreeable and engaging, than to take a friendly bottle in +pleasant and delightful company? + +And therefore Cleomedes had great reason to say, "Take away the +pleasures of the table, where we open ourselves so agreeably to each +other, and you rob us of the sweetest cordial of human life[2]." This +was also the sentiment of Cicero, in his Book of old Age; of Aristotle, +in his Ethics; and Plutarch, in his Questions. Let who will, then, look +on trencher friends to be false, and say with those of whom Ovid makes +mention, + + Dum fueris felix multos numerabis amicos, + Tempora si fuerint nubila, solus eris.[2a] + + In happy times, while riches round you flow, + A thousand friends their obligations own, + But when loud adverse winds begin to blow, + And darksome clouds appear, you're left alone. + +Daily experience teaches us, that one of the best means to push one's +fortune, is often to regale with those who are in credit; for, to one +that may have ruined himself by so doing, ten have made their fortunes. +We may therefore say of entertainments, that, + + Haec res et jungit, et junctos servat amicos.[2b] + + These unite friends, and strictly keep them so. + +But what is more, wine does the office of a mediator between enemies. +Of which truth I shall instance two illustrious examples, M. Crassus +reconciled himself to Cicero at a feast; Asdrubal and Scipio did the +same on the like occasion. And one may see, in a description which a +very learned person[3] has given of Switzerland, that when the +inhabitants of that country quarrel with one another, and come to blows, +they are immediately reconciled, by returning to their cups, and no harm +ensues, but sitting up all night, and amicably getting drunk together. +The Latin has more force in it, which I shall therefore here transcribe. +_Quin et si quando vehementius in se insurgunt, depositis in medium +armis, pugnis rem manibusque decernunt, sed eodem momento conveniunt, +iisdemque epulis, iisdemque poculis a quibus surrexere conciliantibus; +et nullo alio ex contentionibus damno, nisi quod innovata pocula in +noctem ducantur._ + +Tacitus had said the same thing long before of the Germans. + +But to come nearer. The bishop of Bitonto, one of the fathers of the +Council of Trent, and a famous preacher, frequently in his sermons, +exhorting the Germans to unity, and to return to the church, made use of +this topic of friendly drinking, conjuring them thereto as undoubtedly, +by the strongest, and most efficacious argument he could make use of, +by remembering how merry and sociable heretofore they had been in their +cups. + + + [Footnote 1: Dial. 2. d'Or, Tuber. p. m. 118.] + + [Footnote 2: Hist. 7 Sap.] + + [[Footnote 2a: Ovid, _Tristia_ I.ix.5-6. + _First line is more often read as_ + Donec eris sospes (_or_ felix) ...]] + + [[Footnote 2b: Horace, _Satire_ I.iii.54.]] + + [Footnote 3: Dan. Eremit. Descript. p. 416.] + + + + +CHAP. VIII. + +THAT THE CUSTOM OF GETTING DRUNK IS MOST ANCIENT. + + +After having displayed the good qualities of wine and drunkenness, +I come now to shew, that it is generally received by all the world. To +do this effectually I shall enter into some particular detail, and after +having remarked, _en passant_, how the custom of fuddling is very +ancient, I shall then shew, that the primitive christians used to get +drunk: I shall speak something of the tippling of churchmen in general, +afterwards I shall take a cursory review of popes, saints, and bishops, +then I shall come to kings and emperors, and give a small catalogue of +these illustrious topers; I shall not forget the philosophers, and much +less the poets, who loved drinking. Freemasons, and other learned men, +who after having wearied themselves with important studies have taken +this diversion, shall also appear upon the stage. After this I shall +enumerate the several nations that have been, and those which yet are +subject to get fuddled; whether they make use of wine for that purpose, +or such liquors as produce the same effect with wine. And from this +enumeration I shall draw some consequences in favour of drunkenness. + +But before I enter into this detail, I hope I shall be permitted a +general remark, which is, that my readers must not expect I should set +down a complete list of all the several sorts of topers I just now +mentioned; such an exactitude would take up too much time. Much sooner +may one reckon up what numbers die away every spring by the doctor; +and how many dispose of their maidenheads before marriage. + +In every different class you will find no other jolly drinkers, but such +as I have met with in my great reading, and as shall occur to my +remembrance. Neither shall I be very scrupulous in placing them +according to the strict rules of chronology, but put them down as they +present themselves to my imagination. + +If the antiquity of a custom makes it always good and laudable, +certainly drunkenness can never deserve sufficient recommendation. Every +one knows, that Noah got drunk after he had planted the vine. There are +some who pretend to excuse him, that he was not acquainted with the +strength of wine. But to this it may very well be answered, that it is +not very probable so wise a man as Noah should plant a vine without +knowing its nature and property. Besides, it is one thing to know, +whether he got drunk at all: and another, whether he had an intention to +do so. + +But if we give any credit to several learned persons, Noah was not the +first man that got fuddled. Father Frassen maintains, "That people fed +on flesh before the flood, and drank wine. There is no likelihood, +according to him, that men contented themselves with drinking water for +fifteen or sixteen hundred years together. It is much more credible, +that they prepared a drink more nourishing and palatable. These first +men of the world were endued with no less share of wit than their +posterity, and, consequently, wanted no industry to invent every thing +that might contribute to make them pass their lives agreeably. Jesus +Christ says, that in the days of Noah, before the Flood, men married, +and gave their children in marriage. These people, Father Frassen +observes, regaled each other, and made solemn entertainments. Now who +can imagine, that they drank at those festivals nothing but water, and +fed only on fruits and herbs! Noah, therefore, was not the inventor of +that use which we make of the grape; the most that he did, was only to +plant new vines[1]." + +This good father was not singular in his opinion; another very learned +person also believed, that from the passage of Scripture above cited, +one might draw a very probable argument, that men before the flood drank +wine, and that too even to be drunk[2]. + +As for Procopius of Gaza[3], one of the most ancient interpreters of +Scripture, he thinks it no less true, that the vine was known in the +world before Noah's time, but he does not allow that the use of wine was +known before that patriarch, whom he believes to be the inventor of it. + + + [Footnote 1: Disq. Biblic. Journ. des Scavans.] + + [Footnote 2: Jo. Chr. Becman. Annal. Hist.] + + [Footnote 3: Torner de Ebriet. lib. i. c. 3.] + + + + +CHAP. IX. + +THAT THE PRIMITIVE CHRISTIANS GOT DRUNK. + + +There is no one that has ever so little dipped into ecclesiastical +history, but knows very well, that in the primitive church it was a +custom to appoint solemn feasts on the festivals of martyrs. This +appears by the harangue of Constantine, and from the works of St. +Gregory Nazianzen, and St. Chrysostom. People generally got drunk at +these feasts; and this excess was looked upon as a thing that might be +permitted. This evidently appears by the pathetic complaints of St. +Augustin and St. Cyprian: the former of these holy fathers expresses +himself after this manner:---- "Drunken debauches pass as permitted +amongst us, so that people turn them into solemn feasts, to honour +the memory of the martyrs; and that not only on those days which are +particularly consecrated to them, (which would be a deplorable abuse +to those, who look at these things with other eyes than those of the +flesh,) but on every day of the year[1]." + +St. Cyprian, in a treatise attributed to him, says much the same thing. +"Drunkenness, says he, is so common with us in Africa, that it scarce +passes for a crime. And do we not see Christians forcing one another to +get drunk, to celebrate the memory of the martyrs[2]!" + +But it was not only at these repasts that the Christians got drunk, they +did the same on several other occasions; and it was on this account that +St. Augustin wrote to his dear Alipius in these terms: "However the +corruption of manners, and the unhappiness of the times, have induced us +to wish, I do not say that people should not get drunk in particular +houses, but that they should not get drunk any where else[3]." + +Cardinal du Perron tells us, "That the Manichaeans said, that the +Catholicks were people much given to wine, but that they never drank +any[4]." + +Against this charge St. Augustin no otherwise defends them, than by +recrimination. He answers, "That it was true, but that they (the +Manichaeans) drank the juice of apples, which was more delicious than all +the wines and liquors in the world. And so does Tertullian, which liquor +pressed from apples, he says, was most strong and vinous." His words +are, _Succum ex pomis vinosissimum_[5]. + +Here one may observe also, that the use of cider was very primitive and +antient, but as strong and delicious as it was, the Catholicks stuck +close to the juice of the grape, as what was entirely orthodox and no +wise conversant with the heretics of those days. + +But to return to these feasts just now mentioned, it is certain, that it +was not only customary for the Christians of Africa to get drunk. They +had this custom in common with the Christians of Italy, where these +kinds of repasts were forbidden by the Council of Laodicea, which was +held in the fourth century. Paulinus, however, (and I do not wonder at +it, being a poet,) has endeavoured to excuse the Christians, on pretence +that they only got drunk out of a good intention, which, say the +casuists, judges all human actions[6]. His words are, + + ---- "Ignoscenda tamen puto talia parvis + Gaudia quae ducunt epulis, quia mentibus error. + Irrepit rudibus, nec tantae conscia culpae + Simplicitas pietate cadit, male credula sanctos + Perfusis halante mero gaudere sepulchris.[6a] + + But yet that mirth in little feasts enjoy'd, + I think should ready absolution find; + Slight peccadillo of an erring mind, + Artless and rude, of all disguises void, + Their simple hearts too easy to believe + (Conscious of nothing ill) that saints in tombs + Enshrin'd should any happiness perceive + From quaffing cups, and wines ascending fumes, + Must be excus'd, since what they did they meant, + With piety ill plac'd, yet good intent. + + + [Footnote 1: Ep. 22.] + + [Footnote 2: Pamel. p. 416.] + + [Footnote 3: Ep. 29.] + + [Footnote 4: Perron, p. 64.] + + [Footnote 5: Ibid.] + + [Footnote 6: Quicquid agunt homines intentio judicat omne.] + + [[Footnote 6a: St. Paulinus of Nola (Paulinus Nolensis), + _possibly_ Carmen IX. in St. Felicem.]] + + + + +CHAP. X. + +OF CHURCHMEN. + + +If one formed a judgment of the manner of Churchmen's lives by their +discourses, certainly one would take them for models of sobriety. But +there is a great deal of difference between preaching and practising. +This distinction is very solid, and daily experience confirms it. And if +those gentlemen would do themselves justice, how many amongst them might +say in particular, + + Alas! how can I ever dare pretend, + From man this ancient error to remove, + Which they, ev'n to distraction, fondly love: + If I, who blame it, with such pain defend + Myself from this contagious malady, + This epidemic poison of the mind. + Weak reason, feeble thing, of which mankind + So boasts, this we can only build on thee, + Unjust continuing still, and false and vain, + In our discourses loudly we complain + Against the passions, weakness, vice, and yet + Those things we still cry down, we still commit. + +One cannot, therefore, without indignation, hear Churchmen declaim +against drunkenness, while they themselves are such ruddy examples +of it. + + _Quis tulerit Gracchos de seditione quaerentes._[1] + + With patience who can hear west-country cudden + Rail against roasted beef and good plum pudden? + +If the law of prescription take place, one cannot dispute with them that +of fuddling with any colour of reason, for in St. Jerom's time, the +priests were very much given to wine. This we learn from an epistle of +that father, in which he very severely reprehends them. They have been +no changelings since. We read in the adages of Erasmus, that it was a +proverb amongst the Germans, that the lives of the monks consisted in +nothing but eating, drinking, and----Monachorum nunc nihil aliud est +quam facere, esse, bibere. Besides, a vast number of councils, who made +most severe canons against priests that should get drunk, evidently +shew, that they used frequently to do so. Such were the Councils of +Carthage, Agathon, the first of Tours, that of Worms, Treves, &c. To +make this more clear, we shall copy a little of what H. Stephens says on +this subject, in his apology for Herodotus:-- "But to return, says he, +to these proverbs, theologal wine, and the abbots, or prelates table. +I say, that without these, one could never rightly understand this +beautiful passage of Horace, viz. + + "Nunc est bibendum, nunc pede libero + Pulsanda tellus: Nunc saliaribus + Ornare pulvinar Deorum + Tempus erit dapibus sodales."[1a] + + "Come, boys, lets put the flowing goblet round, + Drink hard, and with brisk measures beat the ground. + The tables of the gods now bright shall shine + With cheer luxurious, fit for mouths of priests, + When holy epicures become your guests, + And venerably quaff large cups of wine." + +Nor this other, + + "Absumet haeres caecuba dignior + Servata centum clavibus: & mero + Tinget pavimentum superbo + Pontificum potiore caenis."[1b] + + "A worthy heir shall then with joy unbind + Caecubian, by a hundred locks confin'd, + And tinge with better wines the ground, + Than e'er at feasts pontifical are found." + +"You see how necessary these proverbs are, to let us into the true +understanding of these two passages of this poet. Here follows, word for +word, what a certain gloss says of the last of them, _Mero dicit potiore +(meliore) caenis pontificum, quam quo pontifices in caenis suis, quae +semper sumtuosissimae fuerunt, unde nunc theologicum dicunt vinum, usi +sunt_. That is, with better wine than that which the chief priests used +at their suppers, which were always most sumptuous and expensive, and +which sort of wine we call now theological. + +"By this you plainly see how much attached to divines and prelates those +gentlemen are who make profession of being expositors of the poets. But +in relation to this same theologal, or theological, I know very well +that it is a great question if it should be called _vinum theologale_, +or _vinum theologalis per appositionem_; for the wicked laity, some of +them will have it, that when these good men get tipsy they agree no +otherwise than dogs and cats. But I shall leave this dispute to be +decided by the readers. And as to these two proverbs, they put me in +mind of another, and that is, an abbot's face, which proverb being very +ancient, makes me believe that formerly the abbots had their faces +illuminated. --But without going any farther for witnesses, I shall +content myself with presenting my readers with the following piece of +antiquity, viz. + + "Sanctus Dominicus sit nobis semper amicus, + Cui canimus rostro jugiter preconia nostro + De cordis venis siccatis ante lagenis. + Ergo tuas laudes si tu nos pangere gaudes + Tempore paschali, fac ne potu puteali + Conveniat uti, quod si fit undique muti + Semper erunt fratres qui non curant nisi ventres." + + "O good Saint Dominic, be ay propitious, + Whose praise we daily chirp in notes delicious + From all the veins of all our hearts, + Having toss'd up some double quarts. + Therefore, if't be thy true desire, + We chaunt thy lauds at Easter quire. + Let not thy saintship think it meet + We drink from well tho' ne'er so sweet, + Liquor unworthy priest or parson, + If so, your friers will hang an arse on, + Who nothing mind, I need not tell ye, + Most holy patron, but their belly. + So used, they'll ev'ry soul be dumb, + No _dixit dominus_, but -------- mum." + +Not unlike this is what follows:-- + + "O monachi, vestri stomachi sunt amphora Bacchi, + Vos estis, Deus est testis, teterrima pestis!" + + "O monks, ye reverend drones, your guts + Of wine are but so many buts; + You are, God knows (who can abide ye?) + Of plagues the rankest, _bona fide_!" + + + [Footnote 1: Juvenal.] [[_Satire_ II. 24.]] + + [[Footnote 1a: Horace, _Odes_ I.xxxvii.1-4.]] + + [[Footnote 1b: Horace, _Odes_ II.xiv.25-28.]] + + + + +CHAP. XI. + +OF POPES, SAINTS, AND BISHOPS, THAT USED TO GET DRUNK. + + +After having spoken of the drunkenness of churchmen in general, it will +not, perhaps, be a thing altogether needless, to put the whole in the +clearest light, to confirm what has been said, by the example of Popes, +Saints, and Bishops, who have practised that laudable custom of getting +drunk. + +A little song, mentioned by H. Stephens, in his apology for Herodotus, +affords matter of speculation in relation to the sobriety of sovereign +pontiffs. + + "Le Pape qui est a Rome, + Boit du vin comme un autre homme + Et de l'Hypocras aussi." + + The Pope at Rome, his holiness, + Of wine drinks many a hearty glass, + And pleasant Hypocras also, + As any other man I trow. + +If one reads over the popes lives, we shall be fully convinced that +these holy fathers were no enemies to wine. Alexander the Fifth was a +great drinker, and that too of strong wines, says his own historian, +Theoderic de Neim. If one may give any credit to the letters of the king +of Spain's ambassador to his master, Sixtus Quintus was a terrible +drunkard[1]. + +And Pope Boniface instituted indulgencies for those who should drink a +cup after grace (called since St. Boniface's cup). A plain argument that +his sanctity did not hate wine. + +This puts me in my mind of what I have formerly read, though the +author's name is now slipped out of my memory, that when cardinal +Pignatelli, afterwards Innocent the Twelfth, was advanced to the papacy, +his name signifying little pots or mugs, three of which he bore for his +arms; and whose mother was of the house of Caraffa, which signifies a +jug, a Frenchman made these lines:-- + + "Nous devons tous boire en repos + Sous le regne de ce saint pere + Son nom ses armes sont des pots + Une Caraffe etoit sa mere. + Celebrons donc avec eclat + Cet auguste Pontificat." + + Under this holy father's reign + Hang sorrow, let us ne'er complain; + I think all of us should turn sots, + And fuddle with one another, + His name, and so his arms, are pots, + And a gallon pot was his mother; + Then let us brightly celebrate + This most august Pontificate. + +In the main, this is nothing but a little punning or playing with words, +but it is one of those agreeable trifles that may now and then be worth +our thinking on. + +One may add to the number of such popes as loved fuddling, all those who +sat at Avignon; for if we believe Petrarch[2], the long residence that +the court of Rome made at Avignon, was only to taste the good French +wines; and that it was merely on that account they stayed so long in +Provence, and removed with so much reluctance. + +Let us now pass on to Saints and Bishops. I shall only instance one of +each, because I hate prolixity. The first Saint that presents himself to +me, is the renowned St. Augustin, who himself owns, that he used to get +drunk sometimes. _Crapula autem nonnunquam surrepit servo tuo +misereberis ut longe fiat a me._ Thy servant has been sometimes +crop-sick through excess of wine, have mercy on me, that it may be ever +far from me. It is true, [3]M. Cousin maintains against my author, +M. Petit, the Journal des Scavans, of the year 1689, 27th June, that St. +Augustin, however, never got drunk. The arguments on both sides you may +find in Bayle's Dictionary, under the article Augustin. But yet there +are somewhere in St. Augustin these words, viz. My soul certainly being +a spirit cannot dwell in a dry place. _Anima mea certe quia spiritus +est, in sicco habitare non potest._ + +I shall make no comment upon these words, only insert one already made, +which I take from M. Duchat in his Remarks on Rabelais[4]. On these +words of Saint Augustin, says he, mentioned in the second part of the +Decretals, caus. 32, q. 2, c. 9, the commentator says, "And this is an +argument for the Normans, English, and Poles, that they may drink +largely, that the soul may not live in the dry. _Et est argumentum pro +Normannis, Anglicis, et Polonis, ut possint fortiter bibere, ne anima +habitet in sicco._ To which Peter Chatelain, a Flemish physician, made +this pleasant addition, It is very probable, that the commentator was an +entire stranger to the nature of the Flemings. _Verisimile est +glossatorem ignorasse naturam Belgarum._" + +And, perhaps, this argument from St. Augustine's words, is as just as +one of a merry fellow I knew, who would prove, from St. Paul's going to +the Three Taverns[5], That he loved a hearty bottle. + +Amongst the Bishops, I cannot instance a more illustrious example of a +great drinker than that of Pontus de Thiard. We are told[6], "That this +gentleman, after having repented of the sins of his youth, came to be +bishop of Chalons sur Soane; but, however, he did not renounce the power +of drinking heartily, which seemed then inseparable from the quality of +a good poet. He had a stomach big enough to empty the largest cellar; +and the best wines of Burgundy were too gross for the subtility of the +fire which devoured him. Every night, at going to bed, besides the +ordinary doses of the day, in which he would not suffer the least drop +of water, he used to drink a bottle before he slept. He enjoyed a +strong, robust, and vigorous health; to the age of fourscore. + + + [Footnote 1: Thuan. p. 447.] + + [Footnote 2: Perron, p. 387.] + + [Footnote 3: Petit Nepaenth, p. 137.] + + [Footnote 4: Liv. i. ch. 5.] + + [Footnote 5: Acts, cap. xxviii. v. 15.] + + [Footnote 6: Rep. des Lett. Febr. 1687, art. 7.] + + + + +CHAP. XII. + +A CATALOGUE OF SOME ILLUSTRIOUS TOPERS. + + +Since, according to Horace's observation, every one conforms himself to +the example of the prince. + + "Regis ad exemplum totus componitur orbis."[a] + +And that, according to Seneca's maxim, one must regulate one's conduct +by illustrious models. + + "Vita est instituenda illustribus exemplis." + +It must not be wondered at that people so generally get drunk, since in +this they follow the examples of great kings, amongst whom are very few +that this verse of Ovid, which Guy Patin applied to Naudaeus and +Gassendi, agrees with[1]. + + "Vina fugit gaudetque meris abstemius undis."[1a] + + Flies wine abstemious, but the limpid stream, + Pure and unmixed, his thirsty heat subdues. + +And, perhaps, this is the reason, why in comedies they bestow crowns to +those that are drunk. + + ---------- Quid ego video + PS. Cum corona ebrium pseudolum meum[2]. + +And in Amphytrion, Mercury says, + + Ibo inter et capiam ornatum qui potius decet.[2a] + +"I'll go in and take the ornament which better becomes me." For he had +said a little before, + + Capiam coronam in caput, assimulabo me esse ebrium.[2a] + + I'll put a crown upon my head, and feign myself drunk. + +Lipsius[3] furnished me with these examples. + +But I should never have done, if I endeavoured to give a list of all the +kings that got drunk. + + -------- "Quorum si nomina quaeras + Promptius expediam quot amaverat Hippia maechos, + Quot themison aegros autumno occiderat uno[4]." + + -------- Whose names, if you require, + With greater expedition could I tell, + To Hippia's lust how many prostrate fell; + How many only in one autumn died, + By doctors, and their slip-slops ill applied. + +I shall content myself, therefore, to instance some of the most +illustrious, as they come into my mind, without observing any certain +order. + +Alexander the Great first offers himself to my imagination. It will be +sufficient to mention his name, without saying any more. _Nomen non +amplius addam._ + +Caesar, to make use of Balzac's words, was not always the sober destroyer +of the commonwealth, and he did not at all times hate the pleasure of +drinking. + +Cambyses was also very much given to wine, as may be judged by what I am +going to say. This prince, having been told by one of his courtiers, +That the people took notice he got drunk too often, taking, some time +after, his bow and arrow, shot the son of that courtier through the +heart, saying no more than this to the father, Is this the act of a +drunkard? + +Darius, the first king of Persia, had these words put upon his tomb:-- + + Vinum multum bibere potui idque perferre. + + I could drink much wine and bear it well. + +King Antigonus may come in here. AElian reports of this prince, That one +day when he was much in drink, meeting Zeno the philosopher, whom he had +a great kindness for, he kissed him, and promised to give him whatever +he would desire. Zeno only answered very mildly, Go and ease your +stomach by vomiting, that's all I ask of you at present. + +Philip, king of Macedon, got drunk sometimes; witness what a woman, whom +he had not done justice to, said to him, viz. I appeal from Philip +drunk, to Philip when sober. + +Dionysius[5] the younger, tyrant of Sicily, was sometimes drunk for nine +days successively; he drank himself almost blind, and the lords of his +court, to flatter him, pretended they themselves could scarce see, so +that they neither eat nor drank but what he reached to them. + +Tiberius was called Biberius, because of his excessive attachment to +drinking; and, in derision, they changed his surname of Nero into Mero. + +Bonosus was a terrible drinker, if one may give any credit to his own +historian, Flavius Vopiscus. He used to make ambassadors, that came to +him from foreign powers, drunk, in order, by that means, to discover +their secret instructions. + +Maximin[6], the father, drank very often a pot containing two gallons. +One might very well, therefore, have given him this epitaph:-- + + Hic jacet amphora vini. + +Trajan and Nerva, those excellent princes, took sometimes a pleasure in +getting drunk. + +Galerius Maximinus, who, according to Aurelius Victor, was a prince of +sweet temper, and loved men of probity and letters, had a very great +passion for wine, and frequently got drunk. Having once given orders +when he was in this condition, which he repented of when sober, he +solemnly forbad any one to obey such orders that he should give when he +should get drunk for the future. + + [[Footnote a: Claudian, _De Quarto Consulatu Honorii Augusti_ + (VIII) 300.]] + + [Footnote 1: Esprit de Pat. p. 22.] + + [[Footnote 1a: Ovid, _Metamosphoses_ XV.323.]] + + [Footnote 2: Plautus.] [[_Pseudolus_ 1286-87.]] + + [[Footnote 2a: Plautus, _Amphitryon_ 1007; _Amphitryon_ 999.]] + + [Footnote 3: Ant. Lect. lib. iii.] + + [Footnote 4: Juvenal, satire x. v. 220.] [[i.e. 219-221.]] + + [Footnote 5: AElian, chap. 6.] + + [Footnote 6: J. Capitolin.] + + + + +CHAP. XIII. + +OF PHILOSOPHERS THAT USED TO GET DRUNK. + + +Though the example and authority of Philosophers prove nothing, yet one +must not imagine with Boileau, + + "---------------- Que sans Aristote, + La raison ne voit goute, et le bon sens redote." + + That reason, void of Aristotle's rule, + Insipid grows, good sense a doating fool. + +It is, however, very true, that we shall find ourselves wonderfully +disposed to get fuddled, when we consider that those of antiquity, +for whom we have most respect and veneration, have made no manner of +difficulty to get drunk sometimes, and have praised drunkenness not only +by their actions but discourse. This I am going plainly to make appear. +I begin with the Seven Sages of Greece, who were acknowledged as such by +all antiquity. These philosophers did not look upon drunkenness as a +thing incompatible with virtue, of which they made strict profession. +History tells us, that they drank largely at the entertainment Periander +the Tyrant, or king of Corinth, gave them. + +Solon, that famous, yet so rigid, legislator of the Athenians, composed +a song in the praise of wine, in which he introduced Venus and the +Muses. Seneca is of opinion, that he was suspected to be as much given +to wine as Arcesilaus. And M. Chevreau[1] observes very well, that "The +wisdom of Solon was not of such an austerity as to frighten people, when +he said, That the ladies, wine, and the Muses, were the pleasures of +human life." + +Zeno, whose philosophy was so severe, got, notwithstanding, drunk +sometimes. Being one day at an entertainment, he was asked how he came +to be so joyful, he answered, that he was like lupins, which were bitter +naturally, but grew sweet after they were moistened. + +Socrates, whom the oracle declared the wisest man of Greece, was, in +like manner, a very great drinker. M. Charpentier, in his Life, tells +us, That though he did not love to drink, yet when he was forced to it, +no one could come up to him; and that he had this wonderful happiness, +as not afterwards to find himself incommoded by it. + +Cato, that hero of stoicism, got drunk sometimes, in order to relax his +mind, fatigued with the cares of public employment. These are the very +words of Seneca, Cato _vino laxabat animum curis publicis fatigatum_. +And the same author says elsewhere, that "People reproached Cato with +drunkenness, but that reproach was rather an honour to him than +otherwise." _Catoni ebrietas objecta est, et facilius efficiet quisquis +objecerit honestum quam turpem Catonem._ Horace gives us the same idea +of the great Cato, in these words:-- + + "Narratur et prisci Catonis + Saepe mero caluisse virtus."[1a] + + Tradition tells, that oftentimes with wine, + Ev'n Cato's virtue moisten'd, shone divine. + +If one knew the Scythian philosopher Anacharsis no otherwise than by his +apophthegms against wine and drunkenness, one would take him for the +soberest man in the world, but we know very well that his theory varied +very much upon this point, and no way agreed with his practice. One day +above the rest, having got drunk at an entertainment given by Lybis, +brother to Pittacus, he demanded the prize that was to be given to the +greatest drinker. With which action, when he was afterwards reproached, +he replied, "Can a man better signalize himself in battle than by +glorious wounds? and at table, than with that gaiety you call +drunkenness? Did not Homer, the wisest of your poets, make not only +Agamemnon drunk, but Jupiter too, and made nectar flow in full goblets +at the table of the Gods[2]?" AElian[3] also tells us, that this +philosopher drank largely at Periander's feasts, and alleged for an +excuse, That to drink a great deal was essential to the Scythians. + +Plato, another hero of antiquity, not only permitted, but commanded, +that people should get drunk at some certain times. To prove what I say, +one has no more to do than to read his laws. + +Seneca, who was so severe a philosopher, at least his rigid precepts +would make one think him so, thought it no harm now and then to get +drunk, and ranges drunkenness amongst the means he prescribes to +maintain the strength and vigour of the mind. I have quoted what he says +in this respect in the first and second chapter of this work. + +The philosopher Arcesilaus, who lived about the 120th Olympiad, might be +reckoned amongst those who loved wine, since he died by drinking too +much of it unmixed. A greater, and more convincing proof of his sincere +love to the creature could not be given. + + For he that hangs, or beats out's brains, + The devil's in him if he feigns[4]. + +Xenocrates[5], one of the most illustrious philosophers of ancient +Greece, and of a virtue very rigid and severe, got drunk sometimes. +AElian has put his name into the catalogue of those who loved drinking, +and could bear a good deal of liquor. Athenaeus, says this philosopher, +gained the crown of gold which the tyrant of Syracuse had promised him +that should empty a certain measure of wine. Diogenes Laertius confirms +this last particular. "He had moreover acquired such an empire over his +passions, that a very beautiful courtesan (Phryne) who had laid a wager +she could subdue his virtue, lost it, though she had the liberty to lie +with him, and use all her little toyings to incite him to enjoy her." +You see here (adds Mr. Bayle) a triumph as remarkable as that of +S. Aldhelme, and some other canonized saints, who came off victorious on +such attacks. + +Cicero[6] assures us, That Stilpo of Megera, the philosopher, a man of +much wit and ability for the times he lived in, loved wine as well as +women; and, that his friends wrote this of him in his praise, and not +dishonour. + +Athenaeus says, That the philosophers Lacides and Timon, once upon a +time, past two whole days successively in drinking. AElian puts their +names into his catalogue of hard drinkers; to which he adds Amasis, +the lawgiver of the Egyptians. + +Chrysippus the philosopher, native of Solos, a town of Cilicia, or of +Tharsus, according to others, got drunk pretty often. It is said, That +some of his disciples having prevailed upon him to come to a sacrifice, +he drank so much pure wine, that he died five days afterwards. There are +other authors, however, will have it, that he died of immoderate +laughter, seeing an ass eat figs out of a dish, and upon which he +commanded they should give him drink. + + + [Footnote 1: Solonem et Arcesilaum credunt indulsisse vino.] + + [[Footnote 1a: Horace, _Odes_ III.xxi.11-12.]] + + [Footnote 2: Hist. Sep. Sap.] + + [Footnote 3: Lib. ii. 2.] + + [Footnote 4: Hudibras.] + + [Footnote 5: Bayle Dict. Art. Xenoc.] + + [Footnote 6: Lib. de Fab.] + + + + +CHAP. XIV. + +OF POETS THAT USED TO GET DRUNK. + + +As wine is the poet's great horse, so it must not be wondered at, that +the major part of them fuddle their noses; for, in reality, they cannot +properly be said to be mounted on their great horses, till they have +drunk pretty heartily. These gentlemen speak then on horseback, for the +discourse of poets is quite opposite to that of orators, which Horace +says, is a discourse on foot[1], but when they drink nothing we can only +say, that they are mounted upon. + +The attachment that Homer had to wine, appears in the frequent eulogiums +he gives that liquor. And if we examine Anacreon never so little, we +shall find his inclinations, as well as his verses, were divided between +wine and love. As much delicacy and fine turns as one finds in his +works, an honest man cannot see without indignation, but that they tend +absolutely to debauch. One must drink, one must love. The moments that +are not employed in the pleasures of the senses are lost. Pausanius +tells us, that he saw at Athens the statue of Anacreon, which +represented him drunk and singing. + +The poet Philoxenus wished he had a neck as long as a crane, that he +might the longer have the pleasure of swallowing wine, and enjoy its +delicious taste. + +Ion, the poet of Chios, was not much more sober in respect of wine, +according to AElian and Euripides. + +Horace must by no means be forgotten, whose satires derive from the +grape their sprightfulness and gaiety. + +Timocreon of Rhodes, a comic poet in the 75th Olympiad, was a great +drinker. Athenaeus has given of him this epitaph:-- + + Multa bibens et multa vorans, mala plurima dicens + Multis hic jaceo Timocreon Rhodius. + +To these we may add Alceus and Eunius, of whom we have already made +mention; but what signifies this enumeration, since it is most certain, +that almost all the poets in the world, of all ages, got drunk, which +puts them under the protection of Bacchus. This made them heretofore in +Rome celebrate once a year, in the month of March, a festival in honour +to this God with solemn sacrifices. What Ovid[2] has said on this point +puts the matter out of all doubt:-- + + "Illa dies haec est, qua te celebrare poetae + Si modo non fallunt tempora, Bacche, solent, + Festaque odoratis innectunt tempora sertis + Et dicunt laudes ad tua vina tuas. + Inter quos memini, dum me mea fata sinebant, + Non invisa tibi pars ego saepe fui." + + This is the day, unless the times are chang'd, + That poets us'd to sing in merry lays, + And with sweet garlands crown'd, promiscuous rang'd, + To thy rich wines, great Bacchus, chaunt thy praise. + With these gay chorists, when my fates were kind, + Free, unreserv'd, to thee, immortal power! + (The pleasing object fresh salutes my mind) + Without disguise a part I often bore. + + + [Footnote 1: Sermo pedestris.] + + [Footnote 2: Trist. v. 3.] + + + + +CHAP. XV. + +OF FREE MASONS, AND OTHER LEARNED MEN, THAT USED TO GET DRUNK. + + +If what brother Eugenius Philalethes, author of Long Livers, a book +dedicated to the Free Masons, says in his Preface[1] to that treatise, +be true, those mystical gentlemen very well deserve a place amongst the +learned. But, without entering into their peculiar jargon, or whether a +man can be sacrilegiously perjured for revealing secrets when he has +none, I do assure my readers, they are very great friends to the +vintners. An eye-witness of this was I myself, at their late general +meeting at Stationers' Hall, who having learned some of their catechism, +passed my examination, paid my five shillings, and took my place +accordingly. + +We had a good dinner, and, to their eternal honour, the brotherhood laid +about them very valiantly. They saw then their high dignity; they saw +what they were, acted accordingly, and shewed themselves (what they +were) men[2]. The Westphalia hams and chickens, with good plum pudding, +not forgetting the delicious salmon, were plentifully sacrificed, with +copious libations of wine for the consolation of the brotherhood. But +whether, after a very disedifying manner their demolishing huge walls of +venison pasty, be building up a spiritual house, I leave to brother +Eugenius Philalethes to determine. However, to do them justice, I must +own, there was no mention made of politics or religion, so well do they +seem to follow the advice of that author[3]. And when the music began to +play, "Let the king enjoy his own again," they were immediately +reprimanded by a person of great gravity and science. + +The bottle, in the mean while, went merrily about, and the following +healths were begun by a great man, The King, Prince and Princess, and +the Royal Family; the Church as by Law established; Prosperity to Old +England under the present Administration; and Love, Liberty, and +Science; which were unanimously pledged in full bumpers, attended with +loud huzzas. + +The faces then of the most ancient and most honourable fraternity of the +Free Masons, brightened with ruddy fires; their eyes illuminated, +resplendent blazed. + +Well fare ye, merry hearts, thought I, hail ye illustrious topers, if +liberty and freedom, ye free mortals, is your essential difference, +richly distinguishes you from all others, and is, indeed, the very soul +and spirit of the brotherhood, according to brother Eugenius +Philalethes[4]. I know not who may be your alma mater, but undoubtedly +Bacchus is your liber pater. + + 'Tis wine, ye Masons, makes you free, + Bacchus the father is of liberty. + +But leaving the Free Masons, and their invaluable secrets, for I know +not what they are worth, come we now to speak of other men of learning, +who loved to indulge their genius with the delicious juice of the grape. +And here we need not fly to antiquity, which would swell this work into +a large volume, later times will furnish us with many a bright example. +_Non semper confugiamus ad vetera._ + +A man of learning, after ten or twelve hours daily study, cannot do +better, than to unbend his mind in drinking plentifully of the creature; +and may not such a one say to himself these verses of the French poet:-- + + "Dois-je mal a propos secher a faire un livre + Et n'avoir pour tout fruit des peines que je prends + Que la haine de sots et les mepris des grands[5]." + + Why should I pass away my time in vain, + And, to compose a book, dry up my brain, + When all the recompense I'm like to find, + For all the toil and labour of my mind, + Is the unthinking silly ideot's hate, + And the contempt and scorn of all the great + +I must own I would have the indefatigable labour of such a one gain an +immortal reputation after his death; but after all, to weary one's self +all one's life long with those views, is very chimerical. And certainly, +he that makes but little account of the honours that might accrue to him +after his death, acted like a man of sense. _Si venit post fata gloria +non propero_[6]. + +Is it not infinitely better to divert one's self while one lives, than +to idle all one's life away on poring upon books? Much better will the +following song become the mouth of a man of letters, which I have +transcribed out of the Mercure Galant, of the year 1711, p. 67. + + "De ceux qui vivent dans l'histoire, + Ma foi je n'envierai le sort. + Nargues du Temple de Memoire + Ou l'on ne vit que lorsque l'on est mort. + J'aime bien mieux vivre pendant ma vin + Pour boire avec Silvie; + Car je sentirai + Les momens que je vivrai + Tant que je boirai." + + Faith, I shan't envy him, whoe'er he be, + That glorious lives in history; + Nor memory's rich fane amuse my head, + Where no one lives but when he's dead. + I had much rather, while I life enjoy, + The precious moments all employ, + With my lov'd Silvia, and delicious wine, + Both wonderful, and both divine. + For that I truly live, and healthy prove, + Is that I drink, and that I love. + +This is exactly the same thing that Racan said to Maynard in this +ode[7]. + + "Je sai, Maynard, que les merveilles + Qui naissent de tes longues veilles + Vivront autant que l'univers; + Mais que te sert il que ta gloire + Eclipse au Temple de Memoire + Quand tu seras mange des vers? + Quitte cette inutile peine, + Buvons plutot a longue haleine + De ce doux jus delicieux, + Qui pour l'excellence precede + Le bruvage que Ganimede + Verse dans la coupe des dieux." + + Maynard, I know thy thoughts express'd in rhyme, + Those wonders of thy bright immortal pen, + Shall live for ever in the minds of men, + Till vast eternity shall swallow time. + Yet should thy glories, now so radiant bright, + In Memory's rare temple lose their light; + Suffer eclipse, when to the worms a prey, + Those reptiles eat thy poor remains away. + Does this reflection chagrin thee, my friend, + Thus to the useless thought decree an end? + Drink, and drink largely, that delicious juice, + The em'rald vines in purple gems produce, + Which for its excellence surpasses far + That liquor which, to bright celestial souls, + Jove's minion, Ganimede, with steady care, + Richly dispenses in immortal bowls. + +So much for poetry, let us come to the point, and instance some learned +men, that have loved this diversion. And first, enter Erasmus, who +certainly was no enemy to wine, since he chose rather to continue where +the plague was than drink water. To prove this, I shall instance part of +a letter written to this great man by Armonius, an Italian, and a very +learned person:-- "Immediately after my arrival in England, +I endeavoured to inform myself where you were, because in your last you +told me, the plague had forced you to quit Cambridge. At length I was +told for certain, that you had indeed left the town, but retiring into a +place where there was no wine, which to you being worse than the plague, +you returned thither, and where you now are. O intrepid soldier of +Bacchus, whom so eminent a danger could not compel to desert his +general!" The Latin having much more force, for the sake of those who +understand that language, I shall take the liberty to insert it, as +follows:-- _Simul atque Anglicum solum tetigi, ubi locorum esses rogare +cepi, siquidem Cantabrigiensem pestem fugere te scripsisti. Unus tandem +sixtinus mihi dixit te quidem Cantabrigiam. Ob pestem reliquisse et +concessisse nescio quo, ubi cum vini penuria laborares, et eo carere +gravius peste duceres, Cantabrigiam repetiisse atque ibi nunc esse. +O fortem Bassarei commilitonem, qui in summo periculo ducem deserere +nolueris_[8]. + +"Daniel Heinsius loved to drink a little. One day, when he was not in a +condition to read his lectures, having got drunk the day before, some +arch wags fixed these words on the school-door:-- _Daniel Heinsius, +non leget hodie, propter hesternam carpulam_[9]." + +"George Sharpe, a Scotchman, professor, and vice-chancellor of +Montpelier, who died in the year 1673, on his birth-day, aged fifty-nine +years, was a great drunkard[10]." + +Barthius may also be reckoned amongst those learned topers, if what +Coloniez says be true. "I knew," says he, "some learned men in Holland, +who spoke of Scriverius as of a man extremely amorous. M. Vossius, +amongst others, related to me one day, that Barthius being come from +Germany to Haerlaem to see Scriverius, had in his company a lady +perfectly beautiful, whom Scriverius had no sooner seen, but he found +means to make Barthius drunk, that he might entertain the lady with +greater liberty, which he accomplished. It was not, however, so well +managed, but Barthius coming to himself had some reason to suspect what +had past, which grew so much upon him, that he took the lady along with +him in a rage, and drowned her in the Rhine[11]." + +Scaliger treats as a drunkard, John Kuklin, a calvinist minister, native +of Hesse, and a very learned man[12]. + +"Nicolas de Bourbon, of Bar sur l'Aube, was nephew's son to the poet +Nicolas Bourbon, who lived in the time of Francis the First; after +having been king's professor, then canon of Langres, made himself father +of the oratory. ----He was a prodigious dry soul, and loved good wine, +which made him often say, That though he was of the French academy, yet +that when he read French verses he fancied he was drinking water." + +The great Buchanan, so famous for his fine writings, was a terrible +drinker, if we may give any credit to Father Garasse. What follows is +taken out of his Doctrine Curieuse, p. 748. "I shall," says he, "recount +to our new atheists, the miserable end of a man of their belief and +humour, as to eating and drinking. The libertine having passed his +debauched youth in Paris and Bourdeaux, more diligent in finding out +tavern bushes than the laurel of Parnassus; and being towards the latter +end of his life, recalled into Scotland, to instruct the young prince, +James VI. continuing his intemperance, he grew at last so dropsical by +drinking, that by way of jeer he said he was in labour. _Vino +intercute_, not _aqua intercute_. As ill as he was, he would, however, +not abstain from drinking bumpers, and them too all of pure wine, as he +used to do at Bourdeaux. The physicians who had care of his health, by +order of the king, seeing the extravagant excesses of their patient, +told him roundly, and in a kind of heat, that he did all he could to +kill himself, and that, if he continued this course of life, he could +not live above a fortnight, or three weeks, longer. He desired them then +to hold a consultation amongst themselves, and let him know how long he +might live if he abstained from wine. They did so, and told him, he +might on that condition live five or six years longer. Upon which he +gave them an answer worthy his humour. Go, says he, with your regimens +and prescriptions, and know, that I had rather live three weeks, and get +drunk every day, than six years without drinking wine. And as soon as he +had thus dismissed the physicians, he caused a barrel of wine of Grave +to be placed at his bed's head, resolving to see the bottom of it before +he died; and carried himself so valiantly in this encounter, that he +drank it up to the lees, fulfilling literally the contents of this +quaint epigram of Epigonus upon a frog, who falling into a pipe of wine, +cried out, + + +pheu tines hudor + pinousi manien sophrona mainomenoi.+ + +"Having death and the glass between his teeth, the ministers visited him +to bring him to himself, that he might take resolution to die with some +thought and reflection; one of them especially exhorted him to recite +the Lord's Prayer; upon which, opening his eyes, he looked very ghastly +upon the minister, And what is that, says he, that you call the Lord's +Prayer? The standers by answered, It was the Our Father; and that, if he +could not pronounce that prayer, they desired him that at least he would +recite some christian prayer, that he might die like a good man. For my +part, replied he, I never knew any other prayer than this, + + "Cynthia prima suis miserum me cepit ocellis, + Contractum nullis ante cupidinibus."[12a] + + Cynthia's fine eyes, me wretched, first could move, + Before that time I knew not what was love. + +"And scarce had he repeated ten or twelve verses of that elegy of +Propertius, but he expired, surrounded with cups and glasses, and of him +one may really say, that he vomitted his purple soul out, _Purpuraeam +vomit ille animam_[13]." + +I shall not vouch for the truth of this story, but you have it as I find +it; nor must it be expected that Buchanan, who was their mortal enemy, +should find any favour from the priests of the church of Rome. + +Justus Lipsius got sometimes drunk; he tells us so himself, in his +Commentary on Seneca, for in that passage where the philosopher says, +that drunkenness cures some certain distempers, he makes on the word +distempers this remark following--Melancholy (we know it by experience) +or cold. And in the discourses which he says were carried on between +Carrio Demius and Dusa, upon subjects of literature, and which he +inserts in his Ancient Lessons, they had always a glass in their hand. + +Every one knows that Baudius, professor in the university of Leyden, was +a great drinker, and Culprit himself pleads guilty to the indictment. +_Habemus rerum confitentem._ Here follow his own words, which I own I +cannot translate without losing their beauty in the Latin, but the +substance is, that he defies envy itself to say any thing against him, +but that like the ancient Cato, he drank pretty liberally of the juice +of the grape. _Concurrant omnes_, says he, _non dicam ut ille satiricus, +Augures, Haruspices, sed quicquid est ubique hominum curiosorum, qui in +aliena acta tam sedulo iniquirunt ut ea fingant quae nunquam fuerunt, +nihil inveniet quod in nobis carpere possit livor, quam quod interdum ad +exemplum prisci Catonii liberalitatis invitare nos patiamur, nec semper +constitimus ultra sobrietatem veterum Sabinorum_[14]. And in another +letter he says, that the most virulent detractor could never reproach +him with any thing, but that he got sometimes drunk. _Malignitas +obtrectatorum nihil aliud in nobis sigillare potest quam quod nimis +commodus sum convivator, et interdum largius adspargor rore liberi +patris_[15]. + +Balzac made also some little debauches with some of his friends at his +country-house; and what he wrote to an officer who was then prisoner in +Germany, makes it evidently appear that he thought it lawful so to do. +"In relation," says he, "to the German manner of drinking healths, which +you speak of with such trouble, as if they were so many Turkish +bastinadoes, I think your sobriety in that respect to be a little too +delicate, you must learn to howl when you are in company of wolves, as +the proverb has it, and not to instance great generals. Don't you know, +that wise ambassadors of kings have heretofore got drunk for the good of +their master's affairs, and sacrificed all their prudence and gravity to +the necessity of great men, and the custom of the country where they +were. I do not advise you here to any forbidden acts of intemperance, +but I think it no manner of harm now and then to drown your chagrin in +Rhenish wine, and to make use of that agreeable means to shorten the +time, the long continuance of which is ever extremely tedious to +prisoners[16]." + +The illustrious professor of Utrecht, whose name shall live as long as +the republic of letters shall subsist, was a great drinker, and valued +himself for drinking a great deal. It is reported of this learned man, +that at the congress of the last peace, a certain German prince, of a +sovereign house, came on purpose to have a brush with our professor, who +accepted the challenge, and came off victorious, having fairly laid his +enemy speechless on the floor. + + + [Footnote 1: Vide Preface, p. 17, l. 6, where are these words, + viz. Thus shall princes love and cherish you as their most + faithful children and servants, and take delight to commune with + you, inasmuch as amongst you are found men excellent in all kinds + of sciences, and who, thereby, may make their names, who love and + cherish you, immortal] + + [Footnote 2: Page 6, l. 9.] + + [Footnote 3: Page 16, l. 19.] + + [Footnote 4: Page 5, l. 12. Page 42, l. 13.] + + [Footnote 5: Oeuv. div. du Sieur D'Espreaux, p. 246.] + + [Footnote 6: Martial.] + + [Footnote 7: Parnass. Franc, p. 97.] + + [Footnote 8: Bayle Dict. Art. Ammon.] + + [Footnote 9: Menagian, t. i. p. 26.] + + [Footnote 10: Patinian, p. 106.] + + [Footnote 11: Rec. de Partic. p. 318, ed. 4.] + + [Footnote 12: Scaliger, p. 409.] + + [[Footnote 12a: Propertius I.i.1-2.]] + + [Footnote 13: Bayle Dict. Art. Buchan. D.] + + [Footnote 14: Ep. xxxiii. centur. 3.] + + [Footnote 15: Ep. xxvi. centur. 3.] + + [Footnote 16: Lett. Chois. lib. ii. lett. 5.] + + + + +CHAP. XVI. + +OF NATIONS THAT USED TO GET DRUNK. + + +The plot now begins to thicken upon us, and we are come to give an +account of such nations with whom the custom of getting drunk was +heretofore very much in vogue; and of those with whom this same custom +reigns at this very day. + +When we consult ancient histories upon this point, we learn from +Plato[1], that the Scythians, Thracians, Celtae and Iberians, were the +greatest drinkers that ever were. AElian[2] says the same in relation to +the Thracians and Illyrians. It is also reported of the Parthians[3], +that the more they drink the more thirsty they grow. + +Athenaeus[4] also assures us, that the Thracians were great drinkers; and +he says the same thing of the Milesians, Illyrians, Lydians, Persians, +Carthaginians, Gauls, and Spaniards. + +The Tapyrians were so much given to wine, that they past their whole +lives in drinking, and even bathed their bodies in wine[5]. + +The Tarentins used to drink from morning till night, and got quite drunk +in public[6]. + +The Leontins, a people in Sicily, were such great drunkards, that they +occasioned this proverb, viz. the Leontins are always near a cup of +wine[7]. + +The Byzantins must not be refused a place in this chapter. AElian +reports[8], that Leonides, their general, being besieged, and unable to +make his men keep their posts, which they quitted every moment to go and +get drunk at the taverns, he immediately gave orders that the vintners +should repair with all their liquors to the ramparts, by which stratagem +he kept them to their duty. + +But as it may be said that the nations we have already mentioned were +all barbarous, we shall, for that reason, verify what Montaigne says, +that amongst nations the best regulated, and most polite, this essay of +drinking deep was very much in use[9]. + +The Greeks, whom one may look upon as the only nation of the world for +politeness and good sense, are a proof of what I advance. They +celebrated the feasts of Bacchus with a great deal of solemnity; it is +from them that Pergraecari, of which every one knows the signification, +is derived. AElian assures us, that they were so very luxurious, that +they put perfumed oils into their wine, which they called wine of myrrh. + +The Romans had also a very strong passion for wine, so that at Rome +there were frequently very great seditions for want of it. _Seditiones +sunt concitatae graves ob inopiam vini_[10], says Ammianus Marcellinus, +in the Life of Constantius and Gallus; and in the reign of Constantius +only, the same historian says, there was a sedition also upon that very +account. + +Titus Livius tells us, that the Clusians passed the Alps, and came to +inhabit the country that the Etrurians possessed before, to have the +pleasure of drinking wine[11]. + +Let us now descend to some nations, with whom, at present, this custom +of getting drunk is received. + +Sir Paul Ricaut[12] assures us, that the Turks considering that wine +rejoices the heart, and comforts the stomach, have begun to drink it; +adding, that at present there are only a few (ulamah) ecclesiastical +hypocrites or some ignorant bigots, or superannuated people, that +abstain from that liquor; but at the same time drunkenness is grown very +common amongst them. + +M. Du Mont confirms this truth, "As to wine," says he, "though it be as +expressly forbidden as swine's flesh, it is nevertheless very certain +that a great many Mahometans transgress that precept; and the justest +thing that I can say in that respect is, that abstinence from wine is +observed there almost after the same manner as Lent in France[13]." + +The Persians too drink wine to excess, though their law forbids the use +of it; and they say for an excuse, "That it is to pass away the time, +and sweeten the cares that surprise them[14]." + +The Armenians are no way behind the Persians, if we may believe +Tavernier, who says, that with them, "He that treats thinks he has +handsomely acquitted himself of his entertainment, if his guests cannot +find the door when they have a mind to go home, which would very often +happen, without the assistance of their servants, who lead them, and yet +have not power enough sometimes to keep them from falling down in the +room, or in the street, which is a great satisfaction to the host; for +if he finds any of them master of so much judgment as to guide himself, +though he reels never so much, he laments very much, as having the +misfortune of spending his money to no purpose[15]. + +The Siameze drink wine very heartily when they can get it, though every +thing that may intoxicate them is forbidden by their law[16]. + +Father le Clerc, author of a Relation of Gaspesia, assures us, that +drunkenness is the favourite vice of the inhabitants of that +country[17]. + +The inhabitants of the coast of Africa are great drunkards; they would +give all they had in the world for a glass of brandy. At Loanda, capital +of the kingdom of Angola, a firkin of wine sells for above thirty pounds +sterling. They love it extremely, and they tell you a pleasant story +hereupon of the great duke of Bamba, which is a province of the king of +Congo, viz. that he once refused the crown, as he himself owned to the +fathers missioners, that he might be always near the Portuguese, and +drink, by their means, sometimes a little wine or brandy[18]. + +The Muscovites love wine with a kind of fury, and it has been known, +that when a man who has drunk to excess, and can swallow no more, they +wash him soundly with it. And in Germany you are not looked upon to have +treated your guest like a friend, if you do not reduce him to that +condition, as quite to forget himself, and know not what he does[19]. + +"As Georgia produces strong wines, so its inhabitants are great +drunkards, the strongest liquors is what they love most; and at their +entertainments they drink more brandy than wine, women as well as +men.[20]" + +Sir John Chardin[21] assures us, That there is no country in the world +where they drink so much wine, and more excellent, than they do at +Georgia; adding, that the Georgians are great drunkards, and that the +clergy get drunk as well as the laity. + + Like people like priest. + + Quales populus talis sacerdos. + +We have taken care not to forget Germany. _Vocabitur haec quoque votis._ +Which we reserve to the next chapter. + + + [Footnote 1: Lips. cent. 3, ep. li.] + + [Footnote 2: Lib. ii. cap. 15.] + + [Footnote 3: Erasm. Adag.] + + [Footnote 4: Lib. x. cap. 10.] + + [Footnote 5: AElian, lib. iii. cap. 13.] + + [Footnote 6: Lib. xii.] + + [Footnote 7: Forner de Ebriet. lib. i. cap. 12.] + + [Footnote 8: Lib. iii. cap. 14.] + + [Footnote 9: Essays, l. ii. cap. 2.] + + [Footnote 10: Hist. Aug. Script. ed. 1609. fol. p. 414, and + p. 425.] + + [Footnote 11: P. 85.] + + [Footnote 12: Hist. of the Turks.] + + [Footnote 13: Voyage, t. 3, let. v.] + + [Footnote 14: Tavernier's Trav. 1. lib. v. cap. 17.] + + [Footnote 15: Tavern. t. 1, lib. v. cap. 17.] + + [Footnote 16: Loubere, liv. i. ch. 9.] + + [Footnote 17: Bibl. Univ. t. xxiii. p. 44.] + + [Footnote 18: Viaggo del Congo.] + + [Footnote 19: Chevrean, t. ii. p. 215.] + + [Footnote 20: Tavern. t. 1, liv. iii. ch. 9.] + + [Footnote 21: Voyag. t. ii. p. 129.] + + + + +CHAP. XVII. + +OF THE DRUNKENNESS OF THE GERMANS. + + +The Germans were, in all times and ages, great drinkers, and in the +words of one of their own poets, + + "Illic nobilitas, aeterno nomine digna + Exhaurire cados, siccareque pocula longa[1]." + + ---------------------- worthy eternal fame! + 'Tis there a piece of true nobility, + To empty casks, and drink deep goblets dry. + +To demonstrate the origin of their bibacity, it is absolutely necessary +to go higher than Tacitus, who in the treatise which he composed in +relation to their customs and manners, thus speaks: "It is no shame with +them to pass whole days and nights in drinking; but quarrellings are +very frequent amongst them, as are usual amongst folks in that respect, +and more often end at daggers drawing than in Billingsgate. It is, +however, in such meetings, that alliances and reconciliations are +formed. Here they treat of the election of princes. In short, of all +affairs, of peace and war. Those opportunities they think most proper, +inasmuch as then people shake off all disguise of thought and +reflection, and the heat of debauch engages the soul of man to +resolutions the most bold and hardy[2]." + +Owen, our countryman, has made an epitaph in honour of these our +substantial topers, the Germans; the sense of which is, that if truth +lies hidden in wine, they are the first people in the world that will +find it out. His words are, + + Si latet in vino verum, ut proverbia dicunt, + Invenit verum Teuto vel inveniet. + +Let us see now what travellers have said on this subject of the Germans: +and we will begin with M. Aug. de Thou[3], an eye-witness thereof. +"There is," says he, "before Mulhausen, a large place, or square, where, +during the fair, assemble a prodigious number of people, of both sexes, +and of all ages; there one may see wives supporting their husbands, +daughters their fathers, tottering upon their horses or asses, a true +image of a Bacchanal. The public-houses are full of drinkers, where the +young women who wait, pour wine into goblets out of a large bottle with +a long neck, without spilling one drop. They press you to drink with +pleasantries the most agreeable in the world. People drink here +continually, and return at all hours to do the same thing over again." + +This pleasant sight, so new to M. de Thou, continues almost all night. +And what is very particular amongst such a great concourse of people, +and such a number of drunkards, every thing passes without dispute and +quarrelling. + +Let us now see what the duke de Rohan says on this head, whose words are +these[4]:-- "From thence I came to Trent, a place noways agreeable, and +famous for nothing but the last council which was held there; and if it +was not that it was half Italian, (being glad of coming out of little +Barbary, and a universal tippling-house,) I would take no notice of it; +being well satisfied, that the mathematicians of our times can no where +find out the perpetual motion so well as here, where the goblets of +Germans are an evident demonstration of its possibility--they think they +cannot make good cheer, nor permit friendship or fraternity, as they +call it, with any, without giving the seal brimful of wine, to seal it +for perpetuity." + +M. Misson, who was also some time in Germany, gives us yet a larger +description. "The Germans," says he[5], "are, as you know, strange +drinkers. There are no people in the world more caressing, more civil, +more officious, but still another cup. They have terrible customs on +that article of drinking. Every thing is transacted over the bottle; you +can do nothing without drinking. One can scarce speak three words at a +visit, but you are astonished to see the collation come in, or at least +a good quantity of wine, attended with crusts of bread cut into little +pieces, upon a plate with salt and pepper, a fatal preparative for bad +drinkers. I must instruct you in the laws they observe in their cups; +laws sacred and inviolable. You must never drink without drinking some +one's health, which having done, you must immediately present the glass +to the party you drank to, who must never refuse it, but drink it to the +last drop. Reflect a little, I beseech you, on these customs, and you +will see how, and by what means, it is impossible to cease from +drinking. After this manner one shall never have done. It is a perpetual +circle to drink after the German fashion; it is to drink for ever. +You must likewise know, that the glasses too are respected in those +countries as much as the wine is loved; they range them all about in +ranks and files; most of their rooms are wainscotted up two thirds of +the wall, and the glasses are ranged all about, like organ pipes, upon +the cornish. They begin with the small, and end with the large ones, +which are like melon glasses, and must be taken off at one draught, when +they drink any health of importance." + +Let us observe here[6], "That it was the custom of the ancient Greeks to +drink largely after meals, and that this custom is now practised in +Germany." This was what AEneas, and the people of his train, used to do, +as we learn from these verses of Virgil[7]:-- + + "Postquam prima quies epulis, mensaeque remotae, + Crateras magnas statuunt et vina coronant. + + After the teeth had gain'd their first repose, + The dishes ta'en away, the cloth remov'd, + The rich repast gigantic tankards close, + Replete with wines, by nicest tastes approv'd. + +It is the same thing with the Armenians, they never drink till at the +end of their meals. "After they have said grace, the dishes are removed, +in order to bring in the desert, and then they prepare themselves to +drink to excess." + +We come now to the Swiss. Here follows what Daniel Eremita, a very +learned man, who published a description of their country, has said of +them. "[8]They have the same simplicity in drinking, but they do not +keep the same moderation. Wine is what they place their delight in, and +they prefer it to all things in the world. At their assemblies, both for +pleasure and business, or any other affairs, wine always makes a party; +with which, when they have overloaded their stomach, they discharge it, +and sit down to it again, and drink as they did at first. They leave the +care of their family to their wives and children, who live with the +utmost economy, in favour of their husbands, who are continually at the +tavern. They talk with glass in hand, and please themselves in that +posture to recount their acts and jests, and those of their ancestors, +as examples to posterity. They speak freely all they know, and know not +what a secret is. In short, this way of life does not only continue +whole days successively, but all the time they live." + +Nor have things now taken another aspect in Switzerland. The author of a +travel lately into that country, tells us for certain, that "wine is a +singular attractive, a powerful charm, against which the Swiss can make +no manner of resistance[9]." + +Before I close this chapter I shall take notice of the Flemings, whom we +ought to look upon as making part of Germany, who, though they are +surrounded by water, take care never to drink any, which made Scaliger, +when in Holland, say to Douza, + + "In mediis habitamus aquis, quis credere possit + Et tamen hic nullae, Douza, bibuntur aquae[10]." + + Amidst the waters here we live, + Yet who can any credit give + To what I say, for, Douza, here + No water drinkers e'er appear. + +Guicciardin, in his description of the low countries, accuses the people +of drinking too much. _Hanno_[11], says he, _poi per la maggior parte +quel vitio del bere troppo_. He adds, however, "That they are in some +sort excusable, because the air of the country being for the most part +of the year humid, and apt to inspire melancholy, they could not, +perhaps, make use of a more efficacious remedy to expel this irksome, +unwholesome melancholy, than wine, which, I suppose, was Horace's +sentiment, when he said, With wine drive away care. The words in the +original are, _Ma sono in qualche parte scusabili, per che essendo +l'aria del paese il pui del tempo humida et malinconica, non potrieno +peraventura trovar instromento piu idoneo a scacciare et battere la +malinconia odiosa et mal sana che il vino, si come pare che accerni +Horatio dicendo. Vino pellite curas._" + +But without any farther talking of the Germans, I shall end this chapter +with this necessary remark, that one need not go out of England for +examples of hard drinking, our country, God bless it, does not come +behind any other in this particular. + + + [Footnote 1: G. Brusch. Inter. p. 405.] + + [Footnote 2: Diem noctemque continuare nullum probium, crebrae ut + inter vinolentos rixae, raro conviciis sepius cede et vulneribus + transiguntur. Sed et de reconciliandis invicem inimicitiis et + pangendis affinitatibus et adsciscendis principibus, de pace + denique ac bello plerunque in conviviis consultant; tanquam nullo + magis tempore aut ad simplices cogitationes patea animus, aut ad + magnas incalescat.] [[Tacitus, _Germania_ 22.]] + + [Footnote 3: Memoir de Thou. liv. ii. p. 63.] + + [Footnote 4: Voyag. p. 27. ed. 1646.] + + [Footnote 5: Voyage de Italie, t. i. let. 9.] + + [Footnote 6: Chevreana, t. ii. p. 188.] + + [Footnote 7: AEneid, lib. i. v. 723.] [[i.e. 723-724.]] + + [Footnote 8: Ed. viii. p. 411.] + + [Footnote 9: Voyag. de Rouvier, p. 89.] + + [Footnote 10: De admir. Holland.] + + [Footnote 11: Ed. fol. 1567, p. 29.] + + + + +CHAP. XVIII. + +OF NATIONS THAT GET DRUNK WITH CERTAIN LIQUORS. + + +As every country does not produce wine, but, according to the poet[1], + + "Hic segetes, illic veniunt faelicius uvae." + + _Here_ wheat, more happily _there_ grows the grape. + +Those nations, with whom there are no vines, have invented other drinks +to make themselves merry. Pliny[2] tells us, That the western people got +drunk with certain liquors made with fruits; and that these liquors have +different names in Gaul and Spain, though they produce the same effect. + +Ammianus Marcellinus reports, That the Gauls having no wine in their +country, though they are very fond of it, contrive a great many sorts of +liquors, which produce the same effect as wine. _Vini avidum genus +adfectans ad vini similitum dinem multiplices potus._ + +The Scythians had no wine, as appears by the answer of Anacharsis, the +philosopher, who being asked, If they had none that played on the flute +in Scythia, replied, That they had not so much as any wine there. +However, for all that, they got drunk with certain liquors which had the +force and strength of wine. This also we learn from these words of +Virgil:-- + + "Ipsi in defossis specubus, secura subalta + Otia agunt terra, congestaque robora tolasque + Advolvere focis ulmos, ignique dedere. + Hic noctem ludo ducunt, et pocula laeti + Fermento, atque acidis imitantur vitea sorbis."[2a] + + Secure, in quiet ease, they dwell in caves + Deep dug in earth, and to their chimneys roll + Whole oaks and elms entire, which flames devour. + Here all the night, in sport and merry glee, + They pass and imitate, with acid service, + By fermentation vinous made, the grape. + +The Thracians intoxicate themselves by swallowing the fumes of certain +herbs, which they cast into the fire. + +The Babylonians, according to Herodotus, used likewise to get drunk, +by swallowing the fumes of certain herbs that they burned. + +Strabo reports, That the Indians made a certain drink with sugar canes, +which made them merry; very probably not unlike what we now call rum. + +Benso, in his History of America, says the same of the inhabitants of +the island of Hispaniola, and several other provinces of America. + +Pliny and Athenaeus tell us, that the Egyptians fuddled themselves with a +drink made of barley; by this it seems the liquor of Sir John +Barley-Corn is very ancient. + +Leri[3], in his Voyage to Brazil, tells us, That the inhabitants of that +country are as great drinkers as the Germans, Flemings, Lansquenets, +Swiss: and all those merry gentleman who love carousing, and drink +supernaculum, ought to agree, that they are even with them. Their drink +is made of certain roots, which they boil and ferment, and is then +called by them in their language, _cahou-in_. The author adds, "That he +has seen them not only drink three days and nights successively without +ceasing, but that they were so very drunk, that they could swallow no +more till they had disgorged, which was in order to begin again. + +"There [4]grows in the Eastern countries certain particular drugs, with +which the inhabitants are wonderfully delighted, and which produce a +kind of drunkenness, or agreeable folly, which continues some time. They +are so much accustomed to the use of these drugs, by a long habit, that +they imagine that life must be very sad and unhappy without them. +The Indians and Persians have their bangue, the Egyptians their bola, +and the Turks their opium." + +In relation to the Persians, Tavernier[5] has these words, viz. "They +have a sort of drink to divert and make themselves merry, which they +call kokemaar, made of poppy-seeds boiled. They drink it scalding hot; +and there are particular houses, called kokemaar krone, where people +meet, and give a great deal of pleasure and delight to those who see the +ridiculous postures which this kind of liquor makes them perform. Before +it operates they quarrel with one another, and give abusive language, +without coming to blows; afterwards when the drug begins to have its +effect, then they also begin to make peace. One compliments in a very +high degree, another tells stories, but all are extremely ridiculous +both in their words and actions." And after having spoken of other +liquors that they make use of, he adds, "It is difficult to find in +Persia a man that is not addicted to some one of these liquors, without +which they think they cannot live but very unpleasantly." + +I take no notice here of that admirable drink called Punch with us; nor +Juniper-water, (vulgarly called Geneva, a corruption from the French +word Genevre, which signifies the same thing,) nor that dram called +All-fours, which have such wonderful effects on the wretched commonalty. + + + [Footnote 1: Virgil.] [[_Georgics_ I.54.]] + + [Footnote 2: Const. et Jul. lib. 16.] + + [[Footnote 2a: Virgil, _Georgics_ III.376-380.]] + + [Footnote 3: P. 126, ed. 1594.] + + [Footnote 4: L'Emer. des Alim. part iii. ch. 2.] + + [Footnote 5: T. 1, lib. v. ch. 17.] + + + + +CHAP. XIX. + +OTHER CONSIDERATIONS IN FAVOUR OF DRUNKENNESS. + + +Drunkenness will (and ought to do so) appear excusable to people the +most sober, if they would but make these two reflections following, viz. + + +I. _That drunkards are not generally given to lewdness._ + +Aristotle says, "That too much drinking makes one very improper for the +acts of Venus, and gives his reasons. Athenaeus reports the same thing in +that passage, where he makes mention of the drunkenness of Alexander the +Great, a vice," says he, "which, perhaps, was the cause of his little +inclination for the ladies." + +Montaigne[1] speaks very well on this article, "These," says he, "are +two things which vigorously oppose each other; this weakens our stomach +on one hand; whereas, on the other, sobriety serves to make us more +quaint and delicate in the exercise of love." + +Ovid[2] says much the same thing. + + "Vina parant animum veneri, nisi plurima sumas, + Ut stupeant multo corda sepulta mero." + + Wine, not too much, inspires, and makes the mind + To the soft joys of Venus strong inclin'd, + Which buried in excess, unapt to love, + Stupidly lies, and knows not how to move. + + +II. _That in those countries where they do not drink to excess, they are +very much addicted to debauchery._ + +It is certain, that in hot countries they drink a great deal less +than they do in cold, but in lieu of that, lewdness reigns much more. +Montaigne[3], after having observed, that they began to drink less +than they used to do, adds, "Does any one think it tends to amendment? +No, indeed; but, perhaps, we are much more given to whoring than our +forefathers." + +This puts me in mind of an Italian, who having reproached a German with +the drunkenness of his country, by these verses, viz. + + "Germani multos possunt tolerare labores + O utinam possint tam tolerare sitim." + + The Germans (patient) toil, inur'd to pain, + Oh! could they but their thirst so well sustain! + +The German answered him extempore in these other two:-- + + "Ut nos vitis amor, sic vos Venus improba vexat + Est data lex veneri Julia, nulla mero." + + As we love wine, so wicked Venus you, + Twas _this_, not _that_, the Julian Edict knew. + +In order to draw a consequence from all this, let us speak once more of +Montaigne[4], whose words are, "And if we cannot give any pleasure but +what costs us something, as the ancients maintain, I find this vice +costs the conscience less than all the rest, besides, it is in this +respect no despicable consideration, that a man advanced in honours, +amongst three principal conveniencies of life, that he told me he yet +enjoyed, he reckoned this for one." + +After having shewn, in the foregoing chapters, That drunkenness reigns +all the world over, _Nulla in parte mundi cessat ebrietas_. Let us see +what we may hence infer in its favour: and I ask, if the agreement of so +many different nations, to do one and the same thing, proves nothing, +and may not, in some measure, serve as an apology for drunkenness? +For if one considers, that the surprising variety of the humour and +temperament of men, do, notwithstanding, in nowise hinder them from +agreeing unanimously in this point, one shall have a very strong +temptation to believe, that the desire of getting drunk is an innate +quality, and we shall be confirmed in this sentiment, after tasting +experimentally the exquisite sweetness caused by drunkenness. + +To conclude, + + All drink, throughout the universe, 'tis plain, + The moon drinks up the sea, the earth the rain, + The sun the air, and ev'ry tree, we know, + The earth's prolific juice imbibes to grow. + The air sups up the water too, 'tis said, + Why then, my dearest friends, d'ye plague my head, + And angry grow, because, dry soul[5], I swill + New wine, drink fit for gods, and quaff my fill. + + + [Footnote 1: Essais, l. ii. ch. 2.] + + [Footnote 2: De Remed. Amor.] + + [Footnote 3: Essais, liv. ii. ch. 2.] + + [Footnote 4: Essais, liv. ii. ch. 2.] + + [Footnote 5: Anima mea non potest habitare in sicco. S. Aug.] + + + + +CHAP. XX. + +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT DRUNKENNESS CAUSES INFINITE EVILS. + + +After having specified the good qualities of drunkenness, let us now +answer some frivolous objections that may be made against what we have +here advanced. For example, people will not be wanting immediately to +object, that drunkenness has been the cause of infinite evils. + +To this I answer, that it has been only the cause of these evils when +people have pushed it too far, and not observed the rules they ought to +keep in drinking, and which we shall see here prescribed by and by. For +where do we find that any one, of so many grave philosophers that used +to get drunk, made any disorders? It was for this reason that +Chrisippus's maid said, That her master was drunk in the hams. And it +was on this very account, perhaps, that the Stoics said of their sage, +"That he was, indeed, to be overcome with wine, but would not, however, +be drunk, _Vino obrutum iri non ebrium tamen futurum_." + +On the other hand, without being willing to excuse those disorders which +drunkenness has been the cause of, one may say, nevertheless, that some +of these disorders have produced effects highly advantageous. "Suppose, +for example, that Lot had not got drunk, and his two daughters had not +been possessed with the furious desire of having children, and the fear +of dying maids, you ruin, by this means, whole families, who bore a +great part in the wonderful events of the children of Israel[1]." + +Their high mightinesses the States of Holland, have eternal obligations +to drunkenness, since to this they owe, in some sort, the establishment +of their republic, which was after this manner, according to Strada:-- +[2]The same day that Brederode, accompanied by above two hundred +gentlemen, had presented that famous petition to Margaret of Parma, who +then governed the Netherlands, he gave a magnificent entertainment in +the house of the Count of Culenbourg, there was no want of drinking; +and as they saw the Count of Hoocstrate, who by chance passed that way, +they began, with a great deal of joy, to give one another the name of +Gueux[3]; upon which taking each of them all together great glasses in +their hands, they made vows and oaths to each other by the name of +Gueux, and cried out with one voice and general applause, Long live the +Gueux! After which they promised mutual fidelity; and the Prince of +Orange and the Counts of Egmont and Horn coming to them, they began to +drink again, and with great acclamation renewed vows and wishes with +these new comers, as they had already done, for the Gueux. At last, in +the heat of wine, they took those vigorous resolutions, the effects of +which were afterwards seen, which was the liberty of the United +Provinces. + + + [Footnote 1: Lett. xvi. sur la Crit. du Calvin.] + + [Footnote 2: Strada de Bello Belgico, part i. lib. 5.] + + [Footnote 3: The French word for beggars.] + + + + +CHAP. XXI. + +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT THE MIRTH WHICH WINE INSPIRES IS +CHIMERICAL. + + +It will be objected, without doubt, that the mirth which wine inspires +is imaginary, and without any foundation, and that, as Boileau has it, + + "Rien n'est beau que le vrai. Le vrai seul est aimable." + + Nothing so beautiful as what is true, + That it is only lovely is its due. + +I very willingly own, that this joy and mirth is nothing else than the +effect of our imagination. + + Full well I'm satisfied 'tis nothing all + But a deceitful hope, less solid far, + A thousand times, than is the moving sand; + But are not all things so with wretched man? + All things soon pass away like rapid streams + Which hasten to the sea, where lost for ever + In th' ocean's vast abyss unknown they lie. + Our wisest wishes and desires are vain, + Abstracted vanities, gay painted bubbles, + That break when touch'd, and vanish into air. + Love, wisdom, knowledge, riches, phantoms all. + +But before we thoroughly refute this objection, I shall observe by the +way, that errors and illusions are necessary to the world. "[1]In +general, indeed, it is true to say, that the world, as it is now, cannot +keep itself in the same condition, were not men full of a thousand false +prejudices and unreasonable passions; and if philosophy went about to +make men act according to the clear and distinct ideas of reason, we +might, perhaps, be satisfied, that mankind would quickly be at an end. +Errors, passions, prejudices, and a hundred other the like faults, are +as a necessary evil to the world. Men would be worth nothing for this +world, were they cured, and the greatest part of the things which now +take up our time, would be useless, as Quintilian well knew, namely, +eloquence. + +Things are in this condition, and will not easily change, and we may +wait long enough for such a happy revolution, before we shall be able to +say, with Virgil, + + "Magnus ab integro saeculorum nascitur ordo."[1a] + + A series long of ages now appear, + Entirely new to man, before unknown. + +On the other hand, "[2]If you take away from man every thing that is +chimerical, what pleasure will you leave him? Pleasures are not things +so solid, as to permit us to search them to the bottom; one must only +just touch them and away. They resemble boggy and moorish ground, we +must run lightly over them, without ever letting our feet make the least +impression." + + No, wheresoe'er we turn our wishing eye, + True pleasures never can our souls enjoy. + +Let us add, "[3]That if we did not help to deceive ourselves, we should +never enjoy any pleasure at all. The most agreeable things in this world +are, in the bottom, so trivial, that they would not much affect us, if +we made but never so little serious reflection upon them. Pleasures are +not made to be strictly examined into, and we are obliged every day to +pass over a great many things in them, about which it would not be +proper to make one-self uneasy." + +Besides, "[4]Is not the illusion we enjoy as valuable as the good we +possess? M. Fontenelle makes a very excellent observation hereupon in +these verses[5]:-- + + "Souvent en s'attachant a des fantomes vains + Notre raison seduite avec plaisir s'egare. + Elle-meme joueit des objets qu'elle a feints. + Et cette illusion pour quelque tems repare + Le defaut des vrais biens que la Nature avare + N'a pas accordez aux humains." + + Often enchanted by the 'luring charms + Of phantoms gay, our reason all seduc'd, + With pleasure roams thro' endless desarts wild, + Enjoys the objects which herself has form'd. + And this illusion for some time repairs + The want of real joys, which niggard Nature + Never has granted to unhappy man. + +"Enjoyment," says Montaigne[6], "and possession, belong principally to +imagination, which embraces more eagerly that which it is in pursuit of, +than that which we have in our power." + +And certainly, one may pronounce them happy, who thus amuse themselves, +and believe themselves to be so. And indeed, when a man is so far gone +in this persuasion, every thing that is alleged to the contrary is +rejected as a fable. + +But to shew, at present, the reality, if one may say so, of mere +illusion, we need go no farther than the poets, who are certainly the +happiest mortals living in that respect. + +To instance no more, there's Mr. --------, who would fain be a rhimer, +and that is his folly; but though the poor man, for his insipid verses, +and improper epithets, richly deserves our pity, yet is he wonderfully +pleased with his performances, and with a great deal of tranquillity +mounts up Parnassus, in his own conceit, in loftier tracts than Virgil +or Theocritus ever knew. But, alas! what would become of him, if some +audacious person should dare unbind his eyes, and make him see his weak +and graceless lines, which, however smoothly they may run, are, at best, +but exquisitely dull; contain terms that have no meaning in them, and +have no other ornament, but unintelligible jingle, and initial letters? +How would he curse the day which deprived his senseless soul of that +happy error that so much charmed his thoughts, and amused his +imagination? + +What is here said of the poets is applicable to all mankind; and so a +man, whom any one should undertake to persuade, that the mirth and joy +inspired by wine is chimerical, would do well to answer him, after the +manner as a certain madman did the doctor that cured him. The story is +this:-- + +Once upon a time a certain bigot, otherwise a man of sense, had his +brain a little touched with whimsies, and continually fancied he heard +the heavenly music of the blessed spirits. At last a physician, very +expert in his profession, cured him, either by his skill, or by chance, +no matter which; but when he came to demand his fees; for what? says the +other, in a violent passion, by your damned slip-slops and hellish art, +you have robbed me of my Paradise, though you have cured me of my error. +This I borrow from Boileau[7], as he did from Horace[8]. + +"[9]There are," says Pere Bouhours, writing to Bussi Rabutin, "agreeable +errors, which are much more valuable than that which the Spaniards +called desengano, and which might be called in our language +disabusement, if this word, which one of our best writers has ventured +upon, had been received." + +We shall conclude with M. de Sacy[10], "That it is not always doing +mankind an agreeable service to dissipate their illusions." And we say +of those who taste those satisfactions wine inspires, what M. Bayle says +very pleasantly of news-mongers who are still in hopes of what they wish +for. "They are[11]," says he, "the least unhappy, whatever happens. +There is a great deal of reality in their agreeable sentiments, how +chimerical soever their foundation may be; so that they do not willingly +suffer themselves to be disabused; and they sometimes say, when one +gives them reasons why they should believe the news, that makes them so +joyful, is doubtful or absolutely false, Why do you envy us the +pleasures we enjoy? Do not disturb our entertainment, or rob us of what +we hold most dear. A friend more opposite to error than charity is a +very troublesome reasoner; and if he meddles with their chimeras they +will endeavour to do him a diskindness." + +We come now to another objection, and that is, that this joy inspired by +wine is but of a very short continuance; and the pleasure one tastes in +so short a space, dearly repaid with a long and tedious uneasiness. +_Ebrietas unius horae hilarem insaniam longo temporis tedio pensat._ + +I own that it is a very great misery, that our pleasures are so short: +and the shorter too, the more exquisite they are. And, perhaps, this may +be a kindness to us, since some are so superlatively so, that should +they continue a much longer space, mankind could not support themselves +under these ecstacies. But be this as it will, can we make them +otherwise than they are? We must therefore have patience, and take them +as we find them. In short, there is no present happiness in the world; +all we can do, is to be contented with the present, not uneasy at what +is to come, but sweeten with an equality of soul the bitter miseries of +human life. + + + [Footnote 1: Lett. xvi. sur la Crit. de Calvin, p. 516.] + + [[Footnote 1a: Virgil, _Eclogues_ IV.5.]] + + [Footnote 2: Fontenelle Dial. d'Elisab. et du D. d'Alencon.] + + [Footnote 3: Fontenelle Dial. des Morts de Callirh. et de Paulin.] + + [Footnote 4: Nov. Dial. des Dieux. p. 68.] + + [Footnote 5: Poesies Pastor.] + + [Footnote 6: Essais, lib. iii. ch. 9.] + + [Footnote 7: Satire iv. M. la Vayer.] + + [Footnote 8: Lib. ii. ep. 2.] + + [Footnote 9: Lett. de Rab. t. iii. lett. 63.] + + [Footnote 10: De l'Amitie, p. 2.] + + [Footnote 11: Rep. aux Quest. d'un Prov. t. i. ch. 20.] + + + + +CHAP. XXII. + +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT ONE LOSES ONE'S REASON IN GETTING +DRUNK. + + +It is objected here, that reason ought to be the motive of all our +actions; and, of consequence, that we ought not voluntarily to lose it. + +To this objection I answer several ways:-- First and foremost then, +I say, people do well to talk to us so much of reason, when almost all +mankind acts without reason, so that it may pass for a thing that has no +manner of existence but in the imagination. We shall prove this from +M. Bayle. "[1]We are defined," says he, "a reasonable animal. A very +fine definition indeed, when none of us do any thing but without reason. +I assure you, sir, that one may say of reason, what Euripides said in +the beginning of one of his tragedies, and which afterwards was +corrected, on account of the murmurings of the people. O Jupiter, for of +thee I know nothing but only the name! In relation to the faculty I am +talking of, we know nothing more of it than that, so that we may well +laugh at the complaints of that heathen philosopher, who found that +reason was a very troublesome present sent to us by the gods for our +ruin; for he supposed, that reason busied herself in our affairs, +whereas the truth of it is she never meddles in the least with them. +We act nothing but with prejudice, by instinct, by self-love, and the +sudden starts of a thousand passions, which drag and turn our reason as +they will, insomuch that one may most justly define the principle which +rules and domineers over us, a mass of prejudices and passions which +knows how to draw consequences. I remember to have seen a man, who +having never heard mention made of the Cotta of Cicero, said +nevertheless as well as he, that it would have been much better that God +had not made us reasonable, since reason poisons all our affairs, and +makes us ingenious to afflict ourselves, upon which a certain person +said to him in raillery, That he had what he desired; that he had +received so small a share of reason that it was not worth his while to +complain. For my part, I turned the thing otherwise, that people were +much in the wrong to murmur against reason, since it is not that which +guides us; and that it is not too possible it should, without +overthrowing the order which has reigned so long in the world. The +learned Erasmus, continued I, deserves the highest praise in this +respect; he has written The Praise of Folly, wherein he shews that she +sheds every where her influence, and without her, the whole world would +in a short time be turned topsy turvy. I make no doubt, sir, but you +know the merit of that work. The author speaks, though in a merry +manner, the greatest truths in the world; and I do not know whether he +believed himself as profound a philosopher, as he really was in that +ingenious satire." + +Secondly, This is not all, "[2]It is sometimes necessary, for the +general good of the world, to follow prejudices, popular errors, and the +blind instincts of nature, rather than the distinct ideas of reason." +Mr. Bayle extends himself farther on this idea in another place[3], +which I shall here insert. "Errors," says he, "irregular passions, and +unreasonable prejudices, are so necessary to the world to make it a +theatre of that prodigious diversity of events which make one admire his +providence. So that he who would reduce men to do nothing but according +to the distinct ideas of reason, would ruin civil society. If man was +reduced to this condition, he would have no longer any desire of glory; +and having no longer that desire, is it not true, that then mankind +would be like ice? I say, he would have no desire of glory, for right +reason shews us, that we should not make our happiness depend on the +judgment of other men; and consequently, that we should not toil and +fatigue ourselves, to make other people say this, or that, of us----. +The earnest desire of being praised after death is an instinct of +morality that God has impressed in the mind of man, to keep up society. +And it is certain, that earnest desire has been the cause of the +greatest events; and this ought to instruct us that the world stands in +need of a great many instincts, which, examined according to the ideas +of our reason, are ridiculous and absurd. For there is nothing so +opposite to reason as to torment ourselves in this life, that we may be +praised after we are dead, since neither philosophy, nor experience, nor +faith, nor any thing whatsover, makes it appear, that the praises given +us after death can do us any good. It would be a thing uneasy to the +heart of man, if we did nothing but according to the light of reason; +and how many designs would come to nothing at the same time?" + +Thirdly, Besides, reason very often serves for nothing but to make us +wretched. "The happiness of man is never the work of reason." Of all our +evils reason is often the worst; it frightens us in the full career of +our pleasures, and with importunate remorses comes to bridle our fleet +desires. The horrid thing reserves for us most cruel and matchless +rigours. It is like a troublesome pedant one is forced to hear, who +always growls, but never touches us, and frequently like D------, +and such like venerable impertinents, lose the time they employ in +predication. + +"If there be any happiness[4]," says Fontenelle, "that reason produces, +it is like that sort of health which cannot be maintained but by the +force of physic, and which is ever most feeble and uncertain." And in +another place he cries out, "[5]Can we not have sound sight without +being at the same time wretched and uneasy? Is there any thing gay but +error? And is reason made for any thing else but to torment and kill +us?" "[6]What cause have not men to bewail their wretched condition? +Nature furnishes them but with a very few things that are agreeable, and +their reason teaches them how to enjoy them yet less." "[7]And why has +Nature, in giving us passions which are sufficient to make us happy, +given us reason, that will not suffer us to be so?" + +It was this same troublesome reason that made Sophocles say, "[8]It is +very sweet to live, but none of your wisdom, away with her, she spoils +life." + + Vaunt less thy reason, O unhappy man! + Behold how useless is this gift celestial, + For which, they say, thou should'st the rest disdain. + Feeble as thou wert in thy infant days, + Like thee she mov'd, she totter'd, and was weak. + When age mature arriv'd, and call'd to pleasures, + Slave to thy sense, she still was so to thee, + When fifty winters, Fate had let thee count; + Pregnant with thousand cares and worlds of woes, + The hateful issue in thy breast she threw, + And now grown old thou loosest her for ever. + +Before I end this chapter, let every body take notice, that if for +having spoken so much against reason, any one should say, that it is a +plain sign the author has none; and that there are a great many others, +who, in the words of M. La Motte[9], will be apt to say:-- + + "Heureux cent fois l'auteur avec qui l'on s'oublie + Qui nous offre un charmant poison, + Et nous associant a sa douce folie + Nous affranchit de la raison." + + Happy the author, whose bewitching style, + Life's tedious minutes can beguile, + Makes us, with him, forget uneasy care, + And not remember what we are. + Who by a charm, which no one can withstand, + Enchanting poison can command, + Can make us share his pleasing foolery, + And from dull reason set us free. + +And I shall not be wanting to answer in the words of the same gentleman: + + "[10]Buveurs brisez le joug d'une raison trop fiere + Eteignez son triste flambeau + D'autres enseignent l'art d'augmenter sa lumiere + Mais l'art de l'eteindre est plus beau." + + Break, jolly topers, break th' ungrateful chain + Of reason, if she too imperious grow, + Of being disturb'd you never need complain, + If you put out her troublesome flambeau. + Others may teach the art t' increase her fires, + To put them out a finer art requires. + + + [Footnote 1: Lett. xxii, sur la Crit. du Calv. p. 756.] + + [Footnote 2: Lett. sur la Crit. du Calv. Lett. xvi. p.504.] + + [Footnote 3: Ibid. p. 535.] + + [Footnote 4: Dial. de M. Stuart, et P. Riccio.] + + [Footnote 5: Dial. de Parmen. et de Theb.] + + [Footnote 6: Dial. de Alexand. et Phryne.] + + [Footnote 7: Nouv. Dial. des Dieux, p. 99.] + + [Footnote 8: Moriae Encom.] + + [Footnote 9: La Motte, Od. la Vanite.] + + [Footnote 10: Od. Thalia.] + + + + +CHAP. XXIII. + +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT ONE CANNOT TRUST A MAN THAT GETS DRUNK. + + +There is a proverb amongst the Jews. "[1]_Ingrediente vino egreditur +secretum._" As the wine goes in so the secret goes out. Seneca[2] makes +the same objection. "As," says he, "new wine bursts the vessel, and the +heat makes every thing go upwards, so the force of wine is such, that it +brings to light, and discovers, what is most secret and hidden." + +In answer to this objection I say, that people who are naturally secret, +are not less so after drinking. "[3]And Bacchus was not said to be the +inventor of wine, on account of the liberty of his tongue, but because +he freed our minds from disquiet, and makes them more firm and resolute +in what we undertake." + +Besides, do we not see every day, people of all ranks, conditions, and +characters, get drunk, and yet we trust them with secrets, and it very +rarely happens they speak of them when they are drunk. Thus, if we +consult history, we shall learn from Seneca[4] himself, that the design +of killing Caesar was as well communicated to Tullius Cimber, who was a +great drinker, as to C. Cassius, who drank nothing but water. And though +L. Piso, governor of Rome, got frequently drunk, he, notwithstanding, +excellently acquitted himself of his duty. Augustus made no manner of +difficulty to give him secret instructions, bestowing on him the +government of Thrace, the conquest of which he entirely completed. +Tiberius, before he left Rome, where he was generally hated, in order to +retire into the Campania, made choice of Costus, who was extremely given +to wine, for governor of that city, to whom he communicated such things +as he dared not trust his own ministers with. + + + [Footnote 1: Voyage de Rouvie, p. 497.] + + [Footnote 2: Ep. 83.] + + [Footnote 3: Seneca de Tranquill.] + + [Footnote 4: Seneca, ep. 83.] + + + + +CHAP. XXIV. + +AN ANSWER TO THE OBJECTION, THAT DRUNKENNESS MAKES ONE INCAPABLE OF +PERFORMING THE DUTIES OF CIVIL LIFE. + + +I deny this absolutely, and to prove the contrary, I say, the Persians +had a custom to deliberate on things the most serious, and of the +greatest importance, after hard drinking. Tacitus reports the same thing +of the Germans. Dampier assures us, that the same custom is practised +with the inhabitants of the Isthmus Darien. And to go higher, one finds +in Homer, that during the siege of Troy, the Greeks, in council, did eat +and drink heartily. An evident proof, that this objection is contrary to +experience. But to go farther, this same experience made the ancients +look on those who could carry a great deal of wine, as persons of a +genius very much superior to those who could not drink at all. On this +account it was, that Cyrus, in writing to the Lacedemonians the reasons +which rendered him more capable of government than his brother, amongst +other things, takes notice, that he could drink more wine than he. And +so many fine productions, for which we are obliged to the drunkenness of +the poets, make it evidently appear, that wine, far from rendering us +incapable of doing any thing that is good, rather helps and incites us +to it. This important truth we shall confirm by several examples. + +Plutarch relates, that Philip king of Macedon, after having conquered +the Athenians, made a feast, at which he got drunk; and that all proud +with that happy success, he nevertheless did a great many things +entirely ridiculous; but being informed that the ambassadors that the +Athenians sent to him to desire peace, wished to see him, he changed his +countenance all of a sudden, and having heard their proposals with all +possible attention, answered them with a great deal of justice. + +The emperor Bonosus, who Amelian said was born not to live, but to +drink, acted always with greater prudence after drinking, says Flavius +Vopiscus, after Onesimus[1]. + +We have taken notice, in the foregoing chapter, that L. Piso, governor +of Rome, though he was often drunk, acquitted himself, notwithstanding, +punctually of his duty. + +Christiern[2], the fourth king of Denmark, drank like a templer, and +never king was more laborious, a greater lover of his subjects, or more +beloved by them. + +Scaliger[3] says, that a German has as much reason when he is drunk, +as when he has drank nothing. _Non minus sapit Germanus ebrius quam +sobrius._ + +Montaigne[4] speaks in his Essays, of a great lord of his time, who, +though he drank every day a prodigious quantity of wine, was, +nevertheless, equally careful in his affairs. According to which, that +which Cicero says is not generally true, viz. "That one must never +expect prudence from a man that is always drunk." _Nec enim ab homine +nunquam sobrio postulanda prudentia_[5]. + +Another proof that drunkenness does not render us incapable of doing any +thing that is good, is, that it inspires people with courage, and even +makes the coward valiant. _Ad prelia trudit inertem._ Experience +confirms this truth. "We see," says Montaigne[6], "that our Germans, +though drowned in wine, remember their post, the word, and their rank." + +We read in Spartien, that a certain general having been vanquished by +the Saracens, his soldiers laid all the blame of their defeat on their +want of wine. + +The soldiers of the army of Pescennius Niger pressed earnestly for wine, +undoubtedly to make them fight the better; but he refused them in these +words, "You have the Nile," said he, "and do you ask for wine?" In +imitation, I suppose, of the emperor Augustus[7], who, when the people +complained of the dearness and scarcity of wine, said to them, "My +son-in-law, Agrippa, has preserved you from thirst, by the canals he has +made for you." + +By what has been said it plainly appears, that wine is so far from +hindering a man from performing the duties of life, that it rather +forwards him, and is an admirable ingredient in all states and +conditions, both of peace and war, which made Horace[8] thus bespeak the +god of wine. + + "Quanquam choreis aptior et jocis + Ludoque dictus, non sat idoneus + Pugnis ferebaris, sed idem + Pacis eras mediusque belli." + + Tho' thou more apt for love than furious war, + And gay desires to move, thy chiefest care, + Yet war, and sweetest pleasures, you can join, + Both Mars and Venus are devotes to wine. + + + [Footnote 1: Flav. Vopisc. in vita Bonos.] + + [Footnote 2: Amel. de la Houssai sur Tacit. Ann. liv. xi. ch. 35.] + + [Footnote 3: Scaligeriana, p. 169.] + + [Footnote 4: L. ii. ch. 2.] + + [Footnote 5: Orat. ii. Philip.] + + [Footnote 6: Essais, l. ii. ch. 2.] + + [Footnote 7: Sueton. in Vit. August.] + + [Footnote 8: Lib. ii. Od. 19.] + + + + +CHAP. XXV. + +BURLESQUE, RIDICULOUS, AND OUT-OF-THE-WAY THOUGHTS, AGAINST DRUNKENNESS. + + +It is reported that Gerson should say, That there was no difference +between a man's killing himself at one stroke, or to procure death by +several, in getting drunk. + +Somebody has burlesqued this verse of Ovid[1]:-- + + Vina parant animos, faciuntque coloribus aptos.[1a] + +And thus changed it, + + Vina parant asinos, faciuntque furoribus aptos. + +Cyneas[2] alluding to those high trees to which they used to fasten the +vines, said one day, discoursing on wine, that it was not without reason +that his mother was hanged upon so high a gibbet. + +"[3]The diversion that people took heretofore in making one another +drunk, appeared more heinous to St. Augustine than an assassination, for +he maintained, that those who made any one drunk, did him greater injury +than if they had given him a stab with a dagger. + +"A Greek[4] physician once wrote a letter to Alexander, in which he +begged him to remember, that every time that he drank wine, he drank the +pure blood of the earth, and that he must not abuse it. + +"[5]Some poets say, that it was the blood of the gods wounded in their +battle with the giants. + +"[6]The Severians in St. Epiphanius, hold, that it was engendered by a +serpent, and it is for that reason that the vine is so strong. And the +Encratites, in the same author, imagine to themselves that it was the +gall of the devil. + +"Noah[7] in an hour of drunkenness," says St. Jerom, "let his body be +seen naked, which he had kept covered for six hundred years." + + + [Footnote 1: Sphinx Theol. p. 682.] + + [[Footnote 1a: Ovid, _Ars Amatoria_ 237.]] + + [Footnote 2: Diver, cur. t. i. p. 141.] + + [Footnote 3: Rep. des Lett. Janv. 1687. Art. I.] + + [Footnote 4: Androcydes.] + + [Footnote 5: Entret. de Voiture, et de Costar, Lett. 29.] + + [Footnote 6: Lib. i. Heres. 47.] + + [Footnote 7: Ep. ad Ocean.] + + + + +CHAP. XXVI. + +A RIDICULOUS AVERSION THAT SOME HAVE TO WINE. + + +An aversion to wine is a thing not very common; and there are but a very +few but will say with Catullus:-- + + "At vos quo lubet, hinc abite lymphae + Vini pernicies."[a] + + Pernicious water, bane to wine, be gone. + +One should certainly be very much in the wrong to put in the number of +those who had an aversion to wine the duke of Clarence. His brother, +Edward the Fourth, prejudiced with the predictions of Merlin, as if they +foretold, that one day that duke should usurp the crown from his +children, resolved to put him to death, he only gave him the liberty to +choose what death he would die of. The duke being willing to die a merry +death, chose to be drowned in a butt of Malmsey. Not unlike him on whom +this epigram was made. + + "[1]In cyatho vini pleno cum musca periret; + Sic, ait Oeneus, sponte perire velim." + + In a full glass of wine expir'd a fly; + So, said Oeneus, would I freely die. + +But let us come in earnest to those who have really had an antipathy to +wine. Herbelot[2], in his Bibliotheque Orientale, says, that there are +some Mussulmans so superstitious, that they will not call wine by its +true name, which is Schamr and Nedibh; and that there are some princes +amongst them that have forbidden the mentioning of it by express laws. +The reason of all this is, the prohibition of Mahomet to his followers, +which enjoins them not to drink wine. The occasion of which prohibition +is as follows: "[3]They say, that passing one day through a village, +and seeing the people in the mirth of wine embracing and kissing one +another, and making a thousand protestations of friendship, he was so +charmed with the sight, that he blessed the wine, as the best thing in +the world. But that, at his return, observing the same place full of +blood, and having been informed, that the same men whom he had seen +before so merry, had, at last, changed their mirth into rage, and been +fighting with their swords, he recalled his benediction, and cursed wine +for ever, on account of the bad effects it produced." + +It is one of the chief commandments amongst the Siameze, to drink no +wine, nor any liquor that will procure drunkenness[4]. + +"[5]Drunkenness is detested in most parts of hot countries. It is looked +upon there as infamous. The greatest affront you can give a Spaniard, +is to call him drunkard. I have been assured, continues M. Bayle, +a servant, if his master should call him so, might bring his action at +law against him, and recover damages, though any other name he will +suffer very patiently, and without any right of complaint of being +injured in his reputation, as rogue, hang-dog, b----, &c." + +Empedocles, we may well conclude, loved wine, which he called, Water +putrified in wood. + +[6]Amongst the Locrians, Seleucus had such an aversion to wine, that he +forbad any one to drink it under pain of death, or even give it to the +sick. + +Apollonius Thyanaeus never drank any wine, no more than St. Fulgentius, +bishop, S. Stephen, king of Poland, and cardinal Emeri. + +"[7]The Severians, disciples of Severus, in the time of pope Sotherus, +condemned absolutely wine, as a creature of the devil." + +[8]The emperor Frederick the Third, seeing his wife barren, consulted +the physicians upon the case; who told him, that if the empress would +drink wine she might be fruitful. But he told them, like a simpleton as +he was, That he had rather his wife should be barren and sober, than be +fruitful and drink wine. And the empress, being informed of the wise +answer of the imperial ninny-hammer, her husband, said full as wisely, +That if she was to be put to her choice, to drink wine or die, she +should make no manner of hesitation, but prefer death. + + De nimia sapientia libera nos domine. + + + [[Footnote a: Catullus XXVII.5-6.]] + + [Footnote 1: Rem. sur Rabel. t. iv. ch. 93.] + + [Footnote 2: Page 777.] + + [Footnote 3: Du Mont. Voyag. t. iii. let. 5.] + + [Footnote 4: Chaumont Voyag. de Siam.] + + [Footnote 5: Bayle Dict. t. ii. p. 1266.] + + [Footnote 6: AElian, lib. ii. ch. 33.] + + [Footnote 7: Du Mont. Voyag. t. iii. lit. 5.] + + [Footnote 8: Rec. choise d'Hist.] + + + + +CHAP. XXVII. + +RIGOROUS LAWS AGAINST WINE AND DRUNKENNESS. + + +It is easy to imagine, that princes who did not love wine themselves, +would make very rigorous laws against drunkenness, and fall into that +fault which Horace speaks of. + + Dum vitant stulti vitia in contraria currunt.[a] + +But this maxim, _Nullum violentum durabile_, has been verified a great +many times, upon this subject of drunkenness, for all the laws made +against it have not long subsisted. + +Pentheus[1], king of Thebes, endeavoured to extirpate entirely the +custom of getting drunk; but he did not find his account in it, for he +was very ill-treated by his subjects for his pains. + +Lycurgus[2], king of Thrace, commanded all the vines of the country to +be cut up; for which he was justly punished by Bacchus. He also made +laws against drunkenness, which one may reckon amongst the bad ones that +he instituted. As, + + I. _The using women in common._ + + II. _The nudity of young women in certain solemn festivals._ + +"Pittacus[3], one of the wise men of Greece, commanded, that he who +committed a fault when he was drunk, should suffer a double punishment. +And amongst the laws of Solon, there was one, which condemned to death +the chief magistrate if he got drunk. Amongst the Indians, who only just +touch wine in the ceremonies of their sacrifices, the law commands, that +the woman who killed one of their kings, should get drunk, and marry his +successor." + +[4]The Athenians had also very severe laws against those that should get +drunk; but one may say, these laws resembled those of Draco, which were +written rather with blood than ink. + +We come now to the Turks. Sir Paul Ricaut[5] tells us several +particulars on this head. Amurath, says he, resolved, in the year 1634, +to forbid entirely the use of wine. He put out a severe edict, which +commanded all the houses where they sold wine to be razed, the barrels +wherever they should be found to be staved, and the wine to be let out +into the streets. And that he might truly be satisfied his orders were +obeyed, he frequently disguised himself, and walked in that manner about +the city; and when he found any one carrying wine, he sent him to +prison, and had him bastinadoed almost to death. One day he met in the +streets a poor deaf man, who not hearing the noise usually made at the +approach of the sultan, did not soon enough avoid a prince whose +presence was so fatal. This negligence cost him his life. He was +strangled by order of the grand seignior, who commanded his body to be +cast into the street. But this great severity did not last long, and all +things returned to their former condition. + +However, matters took again another turn under the reign of Mahomet the +IVth. who, in 1670, resolved to forbid all the soldiery the use of wine. +The terrible seditions that liquor had formerly raised were remembered, +and especially that which happened under Mahomet the Third, who saw his +seraglio forced by a great multitude of soldiers full of wine, and whose +fury he could not free himself from, but by sacrificing his principal +favourites. An edict was published, to prohibit entirely the use of +wine, and to command all those who had any in their houses, to send it +out of town. The same extended all over the empire. The sultan condemned +to death those who should violate this decree, in which he spoke of wine +as of a liquor infernal, invented by the devil to destroy the souls of +men, to disturb their reason, and put states into combustion. This was +rigorously put in execution, and to that extremity, that it cost the +ambassador of England, and the christian merchants of Constantinople, +great solicitations, and large sums of money, to get leave to make only +as much wine as would suffice for their own families. At Smyrna, the +officers of the grand seignior had not the same indulgence for the +christians, who were one whole year without wine; and it was with great +difficulty they got leave to import it from the isles of the +Archipelago, and other places not comprised in that prohibition; for +this prohibition reached only those places where there were mosques. +Besides all this, they made every Friday sermons stuffed full of +declamations against those who should drink it. In short, this edict was +so severe, that wine seemed to be banished for ever the states of the +grand seignior. But in about a year's time its severity was somewhat +remitted. The ambassadors, and other christians, had leave to make wine +within themselves; and about a year after that, the indulgence for wine +was general, the taverns were opened, and at this day that liquor is as +common as it was before. + + + [[Footnote a: Horace, _Satire_ I.ii.24.]] + + [Footnote 1: Sphinx. Theol. p. 669.] + + [Footnote 2: Hist. 7 Sap.] + + [Footnote 3: Chevreana, t. i. p. 217.] + + [Footnote 4: Hist. 7 Sap.] + + [Footnote 5: See his Turkish Hist.] + + + + +CHAP. XXVIII. + +RULES TO BE OBSERVED IN GETTING DRUNK. I. NOT TOO OFTEN. II. IN GOOD +COMPANY. + + +To avoid the disorders that drunkenness might cause, here are some rules +that ought to be observed in this important affair of getting drunk; +for, according to Pliny, the art of getting drunk has its laws. + + Haec ars suis legibus constat.[a] + +I. The first, and principal of these, is not to get drunk too often. +This is what Seneca[1] recommends very much. "You must not," says he, +"do it often, for fear it grow into a habit; it is but only sometimes +you should make your spirits gay in banishing gloomy sobriety." + +And if any person objects, That if one gets drunk sometimes, one shall +do it often. I deny the consequence, and say in the words of the +philosopher, an axiom held by both universities, that + + Ab actu ad habitum non valet consequentia. + +II. Second rule. One must not get drunk but in good company. That is to +say, with good friends, people of wit, honour, and good humour, and +where there is good wine. For example, a man in former times would have +done very ill to get drunk with Heliogabalus, whose historian[2] +reports, that after having made his friends drunk, he used to shut them +up in an apartment, and at night let loose upon them lions, leopards, +and tigers, which always tore to pieces some of them. On the other hand, +the best wine in the world will taste very bad in bad company. It is +therefore that Martial reproaches one, that he spoiled his good wine +with his silly babbling. + + ------------ Verbis mucida vina facis.[2a] + + + [[Footnote a: Pliny, _Natural History_ XIV.50 + (or XIV.xxviii.146).]] + + [Footnote 1: De Tranquillitate.] + + [Footnote 2: AElius Lamprid. in Vit. Heliogab.] + + [[Footnote 2a: Martial VIII.vi.4.]] + + + + +CHAP. XXIX. + +THIRD RULE, WITH GOOD WINE. + + +When one has a mind to get drunk, one should make choice of good wine, +and not drink bad, which is prejudicial to health. For example, green +wine is very bad; this Guilleaume Cretin[1], a great punster, has +expressed in these verses, which, I own, I am not able to put into +English:-- + + "Par ce vin verds Atropos a trop os + Des corps humains ruez envers en vers + Dont un quidam apre aux pots a propos + A fort blame les tours pervers en vers." + +Good wine, on the contrary, has very good effects. Erasmus[2] preserved +himself from the plague, by drinking a glass of Burgundy at a proper +season. + +You see now the efficacy of good wine, which, to be in its perfection, +the adepts in the free-schools of Liber Pater say, must have these four +properties, and please these four senses:-- the taste by its savour, the +smell by its flavour, the sight by its clean and bright colour, and the +ear by the fame of the country where it grows. Old wine was looked upon +to be the best by the ancients. + + A beauty, when advanc'd in age, + No more her lovers can engage; + But wine, the rare advantage, knows, + It pleases more, more old it grows. + +And were they never so old themselves, they would still, if possible, +have the wine older than they were. _Nec cuiquam adeo longa erat vita, +ut non ante se genita potaret_[3]. Which these words of Seneca[4] also +confirm, "Why at your house do you drink wine older than yourself? _Cur +apud te vinum apud te vetustius bibitur._" + +Martial says, "Do you ask me of what consulate this wine is? It was +before there were any consuls in the world. + + "De sinuessanis venerunt massica praelis: + Condita quo quaeris consule? nullus erat."[4a] + +At present the fame of the best wine in Europe is reckoned to be, that +of Monte Fiascone, two days journey from Rome. Here it was a German +abbot killed himself by drinking too much of this delicious creature. +The story is this, and it is related in Lassell's Travels:-- + +A certain German abbot, travelling to Rome, ordered his servant to ride +before him, and when he found the best wine, to chalk upon the door of +the inn (in order to save time) the word _EST_. Coming to Monte +Fiascone, he found it so excellent, that he put down, _Est, Est, Est_, +which the abbot finding true, drank so plentifully of it, that he went +no farther on his journey, but lies buried, they say, in the cathedral +church, with this epitaph, written by his servant the purveyor. + + Est, Est, Est, + et + Propter nimium Est, + Herus meus Dominus Abbas + mortuus Est. + +The wine called Lachrymae Christi, or the Tears of Christ, is a most +delicious wine. At least a master of arts of the university of Cologn +thought so, who going also to Rome, drank at the same place pretty +heartily of it, and out of the abundance of his heart cried out, + + Utinam Christus lachrymatus fuisset in nostra patria. + + I wish Christ had shed tears in our country. + +M. Hofman believes, that Rhenish wine is the best of all wines for one's +health. + +There grows also most excellent wines in France, such as Champagne. + +Wenceslaus[5], king of Bohemia and the Romans, being come into France on +account of some negociations with Charles the Sixth, arrived at Rheins +in the month of March, 1397. When he was in that city he found the wine +so good, that he got drunk more than once; and being one day in that +condition, that he could not enter into any serious discourses, he +rather chose to grant what was asked of him than leave off drinking. + +The wines of Burgundy must not be forgotten, which some prefer to +Champagne. "Baudius called vin de beaulne, vinum deorum, the wine of the +gods[6]." + +The wines of Ai are also very excellent. S. Evremont[7] says, that Leo +the Tenth, Charles the Fifth, Francis the First, and Hen. VIII. king of +England, did not think it below their dignity, amongst the most +important affairs of state, to take care to have the wines of Ai. +Henry IV. caused himself to be styled lord of Ai and Gonesse. + +But I shall desire my readers here to observe two things, First, That +artificial wines, and a many other liquors, containing a great deal of +gross, viscous matter, excite a drunkenness more long and dangerous than +that which is produced by ordinary wines. Another thing is, Never to get +drunk with brandy, spirits, and strong waters. Patin[8] says very +pleasantly, that these are sugared poisons which surely kill: they give +life to those who sell them, and death to those who use them. + + + [Footnote 1: Rem. sur. Rabel. t. iii. p. 39.] + + [Footnote 2: Journ. des Scav. June, 1706.] + + [Footnote 3: Plin.] [[_Natural History_ XIX.20 (or XIX.xix.53).]] + + [Footnote 4: De Vit. beat. c. 17.] + + [[Footnote 4a: Martial XIII.111.]] + + [Footnote 5: Journ. de Scav. June, 1706.] + + [Footnote 6: Patimana, p. 34.] + + [Footnote 7: Lett. S. Evrem.] + + [Footnote 8: Vign. Marvill, t. ii. p. 7.] + + + + +CHAP. XXX. + +FOURTH RULE, AT CONVENIENT TIMES. + + +Though one must not get drunk every day, one may, notwithstanding, +on certain occasions. One must sometimes unbend the mind. + + Neque semper arcum tendit Apollo.[a] + +And when a man puts on the air of a philosopher, it is then he turns +fool in affecting to be wise. + +There is a time for all things, and so there is in getting drunk, that +is, getting drunk with decency and decorum; and there are some times +which are not convenient to do so. As for example, (for I love to +illustrate what I advance,) it does not suit with decorum for a judge to +be drunk on the bench; nor a crier in the court exercising his office, +[hiccup, ki---- book;] a parson in the pulpit; an experimental +philosopher in shewing of his gimcracks; nor a freemason on the top of a +church-steeple. + +But it suits very well with strict decorum, to get drunk at a public +rejoicing after a signal victory. + + When the proud Gaul sustain'd an overthrow + By the immortal MARLBOROUGH, + Ever invincible! then you and I, + My Thirsis, shar'd the common joy. + Blenheim and Ramillies were then our song, + The day tho' short, the night was long, + Till both with mighty claret glow'd, + And tipsy, to our beds were shew'd. + +We may also very decently get drunk with a friend we have not seen a +long while. + + Here 'tis----O welcome, flask divine, + How bright does thy vermillion shine! + Thou charming native of Dijon[1], + At thy approach my cares are flown, + Sad melancholy is no more, + Which rack'd and plagu'd my soul before. + Whether thy influence incites, + (Sweet influence) to soft delights; + Or else dost other measures keep, + And gently urge to peaceful sleep. + O may'st thou still such streams bestow, + Still with such ruddy torrents flow. + Damon, this bottle is your due, + And more I have in store for you + Under the sun the faithfullest friend; + I've kept them for no other end. + Drink then a bumper, 'tis a folly, + Dear Damon, to be melancholy. + +However rigorous the Roman laws were against drunkenness, they permitted +it nevertheless on their festivals; witness what a young man said to his +father in presence of the people. "[2]No father," says he, "I have no +reason to be ashamed for having taken a little more wine than ordinary +at a feast with my companions." _Non est res qua embescam, Pater, si die +festo inter aequales largiore vino fui usus._ + +The Persian soldiers, who otherwise lived very soberly, were permitted +to get drunk once a year[3]. + +In Georgia, he who did not get quite drunk at their principal holidays, +as at Easter and Christmas, was not looked upon to be a christian, and +ought to be excommunicated. [4]So that, according to this, getting drunk +at certain convenient times amongst these christians, was so far from +being unlawful, that a man was not looked upon to be orthodox, without +he did so. Getting drunk is therefore very orthodox. + + + [[Footnote a: Horace, _Odes_ II.x.19-20.]] + + [Footnote 1: Dijon, chief city in Burgundy.] + + [Footnote 2: Tit. Liv. lib. iv. ch. 14.] + + [Footnote 3: Alex. ab Alex, lib, ii. ch. 11.] + + [Footnote 4: Voyag. de Chard. t. ii. 129.] + + + + +CHAP. XXXI. + +FIFTH RULE, TO FORCE NO ONE TO DRINK. + + +It is very ridiculous and unreasonable to force any one to drink, +because the taking away liberty spoils company, the benefit of which +cannot subsist without freedom. Besides, every man's capacity of +drinking is not the same; one shall be able to drink a gallon, and +another a pint; the latter, therefore, by drinking a pint, has drank as +much as the former when he has taken off his gallon, because they both +have drank as they can, and ------ Ferdinando ------ No man can do more +than he can do. Let every man, therefore, have the liberty to drink as +he pleases, without being tied up to the mad laws of drinking. I am of +the same opinion in this matter with brother Horace:-- + + ------------ Prout cuiq; libide est + Siccat inequales calices conviva solutus + Legibus insanis, sen quis capit acria fortis + Pocula, seu modicis humescit laetius----[a] + +We learn from history, that there was an ancient law amongst the +Persians, that forbad anyone to force another to drink. The +Lacedemonians also had that laudable custom. + +Charlemagne also made a law, that prohibited forcing any one to drink. + +Mr. Bayle reports a very pleasant revenge that M. Peyren gave to Raphael +Thorius, a very learned person, who would force him to drink, which take +as follows. "[1]M. Peyren dining at London with several persons of +learning, could not be discharged from drinking a health that Dr. +Thorius toasted. The glass was of a prodigious size, which M. Peyren, +for that reason, a long while refused, and alleged a thousand reasons, +but all in vain; he must empty the glass. Before he did it he made this +agreement with his antagonist, that he should drink a health afterwards +that he should toast to him; which being consented to, he took off the +bumper, and filled the glass full of water, and drank it off to the +doctor, who thereupon was thunderstruck, but seeing he could not get +off, sighed deeply, and lifted the glass a thousand times to his lips, +and as often drew it back again: he called to his assistance all the +quaint sayings of the Greek and Latin poets, and was almost the whole +day drinking that cursed bumper." + +This is not much unlike what M. Chevreau reports of Marigni, who, +"[2]after having dined at one of the best eating-houses in Frankfort, +with six or seven persons of quality, was called to the sideboard, where +one of them began the emperor's health. This he must drink, and as he +foresaw very well, that this extravagance would be attended with others, +he ordered three or four great pieces of bread to be brought to him, and +having eaten half of one to the health of the king of France, he gave +the other half to the other, who took it, indeed, but would not so much +as put it to his mouth. The company surprized at so unexpected a +novelty, let him alone without any contradiction." + +Nevertheless, one should be very diligent in observing this rule, which +is, That when we find ourselves in the company of people that drink, and +would not run those lengths they are going to do, to retire; and this +was a standing law amongst the Greeks in their festivals, and ought to +be as unalterable as the laws of the Medes and Persians, viz. + + DRINK, OR GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS. + + + [[Footnote a: Horace, _Satires_ II.6.67-70.]] + + [Footnote 1: Diction, p. 2875. Art. Thor.] + + [Footnote 2: Chevraeana, t. ii. p. 188.] + + + + +CHAP. XXXII. + +SIXTH RULE, NOT TO PUSH DRUNKENNESS TOO FAR. + + +It is certain, that to do well, we ought continually to have an eye to +this maxim of Horace, viz. _Est modus in rebus_. And the _Ne quid nimis_ +of Terence; but especially, in this grand and most important affair of +drunkenness. Seneca very well distinguishes two sorts of drunkenness, +one which entirely _buries_ our reason; and the other, which only +_diverts_ melancholy and chagrin. The last we believe to be very lawful; +but we would have it go farther, even so far, as not only _to divert_, +but to _drive away_ our cares entirely, or else not to get drunk at all. +That which is between these, if any such there can be, does one an +injury, according to the poet:-- + + Aut nulla ebrietas, aut tanta sit ut tibi curas + Eripiat, si quae est inter utramque nocet.[a] + +After this manner would we have people use the juice of the grape; that +is, to go so far as to make our hearts merry, gay, and sprightly, and so +as to forget our cares. + +It would be here useless to shew, by a great many examples, the +disorders that drunkenness has caused, when pushed too far, because it +was never the intention of this work, but to divert (as wine was +designed to do) and make merry, I shall therefore conclude the whole +with an Ode to Bacchus, as follows:-- + + + [[Footnote a: Ovid, _Remedium Amoris_ 809-810.]] + + + + +AN ODE TO BACCHUS. + + + I. + + Let's sing the glories of the god of wine, + May his immortal praise + Be the eternal object of our song, + And sweetest symphonies; may ev'ry tongue + And throat sonorous, vocal music raise, + And ev'ry grateful instrument combine + To celebrate, great god, thy power divine. + Let other poets to the world relate, + Of Troy, the hard, unhappy fate; + And in immortal song rehearse, + Purpled with streams of blood the Phrygian plain; + The glorious hist'ry of Achilles slain, + And th' odious memory of Pelop's sons revive in verse. + + II. + + God of the grape, thou potent boy, + Thou only object of our cordial vows, + To thee alone I consecrate my heart, + Ready to follow thee in ev'ry part: + Thy influence sweet mirth bestows, + For thee alone I'd live and die in scenes of joy. + Thy bounty all our wishes still prevents; + Thy wond'rous sweetness calms to soft repose + Our wild regrets and restless woes, + And richly ev'ry craving mind contents. + Without thee Venus has no charms; + You constancy to am'rous souls impart, + And hopes bestow to each despairing heart, + + III. + + But, what involuntary transports roll, + And seize, at once, my agitated soul! + Into what sacred vale! what silent wood! + (I speak not by the vulgar understood,) + Am I, O god! O wond'rous deity! + Ravish'd, brimful of thy divinity and thee! + To my (once infidel) believing eyes + Bacchus unveils entire his sacred mysteries. + Movements confus'd of joy and fear + Hurry me I know not where. + With boldness all divine the god inspires; + With what a pleasing fury am I fill'd! + Such raging fires + Never the Menades in Thracian caves beheld. + + IV. + + Descend, O mother-queen of love, + Leave a while the realms above; + With your gay presence grace the feast + Of that great god, who bears a boundless sway, + Who conquer'd climates where first rose the day. + Descend, O mother-queen of love, + At rich repasts an ever welcome guest; + But O ----, too long you stay, + Already young Amyntor, brisk and gay, + His lovely Doris o'er the plain pursues: + The sparkling juice at Sylvan nymphs command + Richly distils from their ambrosial hand, + And old Silenus copiously bedews. + + V. + + Hence, ye profane, + I hate ye all, fly, quit the field, + My ready soul gives way + To those gay movements, this important day + Inspires, so to the conq'ror willing captives yield. + Come, faithful followers of Bacchus' train, + (Bacchus, most lovely of the gods) + Enter these bless'd abodes. + On high his verdant banners rear, + And quick the festival prepare. + Reach me my lute, a proper air + The chords shall sound; the trembling chords obey, + And join to celebrate this glorious day. + + VI. + + But 'midst the transports of a pleasing rage + Let's banish ever hence, + By a blind vapour rais'd, and vain pretence, + Those loud seditious clamours that engage + Only inhuman, brutish souls, + By barb'rous Scythians only understood, + Who cruelly their flowing bowls + At banquets intermix with streams of blood. + Dreadful, preposterous, merriment! + Our hands all gayly innocent, + Ought ne'er in such confusion bear a part, + Polluted with a savage Centaur's mortal dart. + + VII. + + From this sweet innocent repast, + (Too exquisite, alas! to last) + Let's ever banish the rude din of arms, + Frightful Bellona, and her dread alarms. + The dire confusions of pernicious war, + The satyrs, fauns, and Bacchus, all abhor. + Curs'd be those sanguinary mortals, who + Of reeking blood with crimson tides + The sacred mysteries imbrue + Of our great god who over peace presides. + + VIII. + + But if I must wage war, + If so necessity commands, + Follow, my friends, advance your hands, + Let us commence the pleasing jar. + With wreaths of ivy be our temples bound, + Hark! to arms, to arms, they sound, + Th' alarm to battle calls, + Lend me your formidable Thyrse, ye Bacchanals. + Double your strokes. Bold----bolder yet, + 'Tis done-------- How many rivals conquer'd lie? + How many hardy combatants submit? + O son of Jupiter, thy deity, + And sovereign power, we own, and aid divine; + Nothing but heaps of jolly topers slain + I see extended on the plain, + Floating in ruddy streams of reeking wine. + + IX. + + Io victoria to our king, + To Bacchus songs of triumph let us sing; + His great immortal name + Let us aloud to distant worlds proclaim. + Io victoria to our king, + To Bacchus grateful strains belong; + O! may his glories live in endless song, + The vanquish'd welt'ring on the sand, + One health from us their conqu'ror demand. + Fill me a bumper. Trumpet sound, + Second my voice, loud, louder yet, + Sound our exploits, and their defeat, + Who quiet, undisturb'd, possess the ground. + Io victoria to our king, + To Bacchus, songs of triumph let us sing. + +To this great work now finished (God be thanked) I subscribe as usual in +the like cases of books, for I love decorum, and have an utter aversion +to particularity, prolixity, and circumlocution. I say, to make short, +I subscribe as usual, &c. in the like cases, &c. for I love, &c. and +have an aversion, &c. the universally famous and most noted name which +is subscribed to all books by what name or titles dignified or +distinguished: or of what sort, species, size, dimension, or magnitude +soever, pamphletary and voluminous; whether they be first or foremost, +plays, either comical, tragical, comi-tragical, tragi-comical, or +pastoral; godly, or profane songs or ballads; sermons high or low, +popish or protestant, dissenting, independent, enthusiastical, +Brownistical, heterodox, or orthodox; Philadelphian, Muggletonian, +Sacheverelian, or Bangorian, quaking, rhapsodical, prophetical, or +nonsensical; legends golden or plain; breviaries, graduals, missals, +pontificals, ceremonials, antiphonaries, statutes, spelling-books. +Or, secondly and lastly, tracts, treatises, essays; pandects, codes, +institutes; primers, rosaries, romances; travels, synods, history books; +digests, decretals, lives; commentaries anagogical, allegorical, or +tropological; journals, expositions, vocabularies, pilgrimages, manuals, +indexes common or expurgatorial; almanacks, bulls, constitutions, or +lottery books, viz. i. e. namely, to wit, or, that is to say, + +FINIS. + +Which being interpreted is, + +_THE END_. + + + + +POSTSCRIPT. + + +Having received the following letter from a merry friend, wherein are +some (not unpleasant) remarks on the foregoing treatise, I thought fit +to send it to the press, which the reader, as he is at liberty either to +read, or let alone, so it is the same thing to me, whether he does read +it, or let it alone. + +To the renowned Boniface Oinophilus de Monte Fiascone, A. B. C. author +of the most inimitable (and non-pareil) treatise, Ebrietatis Encomium, +to be left with that mirror of privative perspicuity, Signor Edemondo +Curluccio, at the Bible and Dial, over against Catherine-Street, in the +Strand. + +Right trusty, and well-beloved, I greet you well, + +Having perused (at the bookseller's, who shewed me the sheets) your +Ebrietatis Encomium all through, even unto Finis, or the End, I own I +was not a little diverted thereat. But as I never flatter any body, so +my friends may least of all expect I should begin with them. I must, +therefore, be frank and free with you, most renowned and +never-to-be-forgotten Boniface, _post nullos memorande sodales_, and +tell you, that you have omitted several things very material, and highly +conducible to the elucidation, or illustration, (choose you whether) of +your agreeable subject. But perhaps they either did not occur to your +memory; or, which is the same thing, (_quoad lectorem_) you were +entirely ignorant of them, but which take as follow. + +First and foremost, amongst your philosophers, you have taken no notice +of the stupendous Des Cartes, with his wonderful system of whirlpools +(vortices) and particles, cubic, conic, striate, oblong, globular, +hooked, crooked, spiral and angular: for who the devil but a mere tipsy, +giddy brains, could have dished up such a confounded hotch-potch and +gallimatias of whimsical rotations, or fancied that the whole earth +whirled round like a town-top, had not _Vinorum materia subtilis_, +the circling effluvia of _Liber Pater_, abundantly invaded his capital +regions. + + So have I seen in days of yore a dame, + At Winchester, who seventy winters knew, + Not more nor less, my mistress then yclept, + Hight Margaret, deceas'd long since I trow, + Whose fate I thus bemoan'd in song sublime. + She's gone, alas! the beauteous nymph is dead, + Dead to my hopes, and all my eager wishes: + Such is the state of poor unhappy man, + All things soon pass away, nought permanent, + That rolls beneath the vortex of the moon. + So when we've screw'd up to the highest Peg[1] + Our ample lines of future happiness, + Some disappointments dire, or chance disastrous, + Snaps the extended chords. Oh! then farewell, + No more shall visual ray of form acute + Affect her wondrous mien. Farewell those lips + Of sapphire tincture, gums of crocus die + Freed from th'ungrateful load of cumbrous teeth. + Mantle farewell, of grograin brown compos'd, + Studded with silver clasp in number plural: + With jacket short, so famous, tory red, + Not hemm'd, but bound about with good galloon + Of deepest mazarine (delightful hue!) + Farewell (I sighing speak) those non-such shoes + Of obfusc colour (heel of form cylindrous) + Worn only upon days non-ferial. + In love's true knot of verdant ferrit tied. + + But Oh! farewell, a long and last farewell, + To large Ampull with vital water fraught, + Wherein the effluvia soft and delicate + Of dulcet aniseseed (not coriander) + In its capacious rim of form anguillar + Whirl in sweet vortex. Hence it was observ'd, + The subtile matter, when in throat retir'd, + Kept still its roulant quality, and oft + Would mount in circling spires to pericranium + Of she-philosopher, when in elbow chair, + Deep and profound, would the grave matron reve, + And learnedly pronounce (like great RENATUS[2]) + With equal verity the world turns round. + +Secondly and foremost, you should have added at the end of the +philosophers chapter, the song of the Tippling Philosophers, which I +send you here enclosed. + +The bookseller to whom I mentioned this, fancied truly, that you might +think it too mean and trifling to insert. But without troubling myself +to know, whether this be your sentiment, or whether he spoke this of his +own head, I shall trouble myself to tell you, as this song is taken from +an excellent French one, which you may find in a very famous book[3], +and which (to follow your method) you may know by the note at the +bottom. The song (whether you have ever seen it, or not, I neither know, +nor do I care) is as follows, and will go with the same tune as the +English (if I am not mistaken). + + + [Footnote 1: You must remember my Mrs.'s name was Margaret.] + + [Footnote 2: Des Cartes's christian name.] + + [Footnote 3: Fureteriana, p. 205.] + + + + +CHANSON A BOIRE. + + + I. + + Je cherche en vin la verite, + Si le vin n'aide a ma foiblesse, + Toute la docte antiquite + Dans le vin puisa la sagesse. + Oui c'est par le bon vin que le bon sens eclate + J'en atteste Hypocrate, + Qui dit qu'il fait a chaque mois + Du moins s'enivrer une fois. + + II. + + Socrate cet homme discret + Que toute la terre revere, + Alloit manger au cabaret + Quand sa femme etoit en colere. + Pouvons-nous mieux faire que d'imiter Socrate + Et de suivre Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + III. + + Platon est nomme le divin + Parce qu'il etoit magnifique, + Et qu'il regala de son vin + La cabale philosophique. + Sa table fut toujours splendide et delicate, + Il suivit Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + IV. + + Aristotle buvoit autant, + Et nous avons lieu de le croire + De ce qu'Alexandre le grand, + Son disciple, aimoit tant a boire, + Qu'il degela cent fois sur les bords de l'Euphrate + En suivant Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + V. + + L'on veut que Diogene aimoit l'eau, + Mais il n'eut point cette folie, + Il se logea dans un tonneau + Pour sentir le gout de la lie. + Et pour mieux boire au pot, il jetta la sa jatte + Et tint pour Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + VI. + + Democrite pres de sa fin, + Par une invention jolie, + En flairant seulement le vin, + De trois jours prolonga sa vie. + Le vin retarde plus la mort, qu'il ne la hate, + Temoin notre Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + VII. + + Heraclite toujours etoit + En pleurs a ce que dit l'histoire, + Mais ce que le vin lui sortoit + Par les yeux a force de boire. + Par ce remede seul il guerissoit sa rate + Comme ordonne Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + VIII. + + Epicure sans contredit, + De bons buveurs est le vrai pere, + Et sa morale nous induit + Au plaisir, a la bonne chere. + En vain l'homme ici bas d'un autre bien se flatte; + Suivons donc Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + IX. + + Esope quelque fois la nuit, + De complot avec la servante, + Chalumoit sans faire de bruit + Les tonneaux de son maitre Xante. + Il en eut mis dix pots sous sa grosse omoplate, + Il suivit Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + X. + + Galen, ce fameux docteur + En traittant du jus de la vigne, + Dit qu'il faut defendre le coeur + Contre la qualite maligne + Qui trouble nos humeurs, les altere et les gate + Et rapporte Hypocrate, + Qui dit, &c. + + + + +THE TIPLING PHILOSOPHERS. + + + I. + + Diogenes, surly and proud, + Who snarl'd at the Macedon youth, + Delighted in wine that was good, + Because in good wine there is truth; + But growing as poor as a Job, + Unable to purchase a flask, + He chose for his mansion a tub, + And liv'd by the scent of the cask, &c. + + II. + + Heraclitus ne'er would deny, + To tipple and cherish his heart, + And when he was maudlin he'd cry, + Because he had empty'd his quart: + Tho' some are so foolish to think + He wept at men's folly and vice, + 'Twas only his fashion to drink + Till the liquor flow'd out of his eyes. + + III. + + Democritus always was glad + Of a bumper to cheer up his soul, + And would laugh like a man that was mad, + When over a good flowing bowl. + As long as his cellar was stor'd, + The liquor he'd merrily quaff, + And when he was drunk as a lord + At those that were sober he'd laugh. + + IV. + + Copernicus too like the rest, + Believ'd there was wisdom in wine, + And thought that a cup of the best + Made reason the better to shine. + With wine he'd replenish his veins, + And make his philosophy reel, + Then fancy'd the world, like his brains, + Turn'd round like a chariot wheel. + + V. + + Aristotle, that master of arts, + Had been but a dunce without wine, + And what we ascribe to his parts, + Is due to the juice of the vine. + His belly most writers agree, + Was as big as a watering-trough, + He therefore leap'd into the sea, + Because he'd have liquor enough. + + VI. + + Old Plato, that learned divine, + He fondly to wisdom was prone, + But had it not been for good wine, + His merits had never been known; + By wine we are generous made, + It furnishes fancy with wings, + Without it we ne'er shou'd have had + Philosophers, poets, or kings. + +Thirdly and lastly, I wish in Chap. XXIII. in your answer to the +objection, "That one cannot trust a man that gets drunk," you had been +pleased to have taken notice of the taciturnity and continency of the +right worshipful the free masons in this respect. For though otherwise +they are _free_ enough of speech, yet I do assure you, as to secrets, +though some of them love the creature very heartily, and carouse +abundantly, yet has it never been known, though never so fuddled, (for +free masons will get fuddled,) that they ever discovered any of their +secrets. This is irresistible, irrefragable, irrefutable, or if you +will, to speak (_norunt dialectici_) _in stylo infinito_, +non-resistible, non-refragable, and non-refutable, and, indeed, is my +_Argumentum palmare Scotisticum_. + +But, and Fourthly also, and Finally, you will give me leave to remark to +you, That in relation to St. Boniface's cup, which you take notice of in +Chap. XI. p. 68, l. 13, I do assure you, sir, the practice was some +years ago, to my certain knowledge, much in vogue, (and, as I am +credibly informed, is still wonderfully catholic,) and, by the bye, +take the following relation. + +In the beginning of the last wars, when I was very young, I had the +misfortune to be prisoner in Luxembourg, and not too civilly treated by +the governor, the morose Count Dautel. Close confinement, (though in the +postmaster's house,) with the unusual smell of the stoves, (for it was +in the cold month of March,) made me very ill, and worse, in all +probability, should have been, had I not obtained the liberty of the +town, which, after many fruitless solicitations, I despaired, from the +ill-natured governor, nor should ever have had, were it not by the +pressing instance of Father Cripps, a German Franciscan friar, of the +convent of Luxembourg, whom they called there Heer[1] Cripps, being +confessor to the governor, and having been once sent on a message of +moment from him to the king of Spain, Philip the Fifth, now reigning. + +This Father was really a good man, and a man of honour; him I gained by +the good-nature of the postmaster, whose son was then in his noviceship, +in the noviciate of their Order at Ulflingen. I need not tell you, that +by noviceship is meant that year of probation, which those who have a +mind to enter into any religious order in the church of Rome, must pass +through, before they can be professed, or take their vows. This you, +who have been abroad, must know as well as I. + +This good father, with much ado, obtained what I desired from the +governor, who he said was, _homo mirabilis in negotiis suis_, which, by +the sequel of his discourse, I understood signified, a very strange man +in his affairs. Gratitude obliged me to invite this reverend father to a +glass of Rhenish, the wine of the country, which, he frankly accepted of +in the afternoon, and, indeed, drank very plentifully, more Germanorum, +as you have described. But though he would drink largely as well as his +companion, yet I must own, that in none of the many merry bouts we had +together (for he visited me very often afterwards, as I did him, I never +saw him so far advanced as to lose his reason) he never failed a large +glass brimful to St. Boniface, which he drank to the pious memory of the +good Father, _ad piam memoriam boni patris_, and sometimes only to the +good Father, _ad bonum patrem_. I found afterwards the same laudable +custom of St. Boniface's cup in the Low Countries, France and Italy, &c. +amongst the religious. + +And now, before I subscribe myself, + + Sir, + + Your most obedient, &c. + +give me leave to tell you, that the French religious, who do not speak +much Latin, drink healths in their own language. But I was surprised, +when I heard in a certain monastery every one of the fathers drink a +full glass to each other in these words, "a bumper," as I thought. I am +obliged to your reverence (reverend father, said I to the procurator, +who sat next me, and drank to me in the same words) in drinking in our +country language, you do me a great deal of honour. It may be your +country phrase, said the prior to me, very gravely, for what I know; +your countrymen make use of a great many of our words, but the thing +itself, let the word (or _vox significans_) be what it will, the thing +(or _res significata_) is very laudable, and every one will practise, +who has any respect for the sacred see, holy church, and the good of his +own soul. Did you never hear of the indulgences that the good father, +holy pope St. Boniface, has granted to such as drink his cup, and which +we have just now piously done? I ask your reverence's pardon, reverend +father, said I, I thought we had only been drinking a bumper to one +another. _Seulement au bon pere_! replied he a little warmly (for the +conversation was all in French, and which word I till then mistook for a +bumper.) Why, that is all, said he, _mais_ (continued he) _c'etoit au +bon pere_ Saint Boniface. You see, sir, the _double entendre_[2], and +that drinking of bumpers, which some precisians have ignorantly called +profane, is a practice very orthodox and catholic. + +_Heigh Church militant, rare Church militant, dainty Church +militant, O_! + +_Dub. Dub. Dub. Dub a dub. Dub. Dub._ + +_Tan. Tan. Tan. Tan. tara rara ra._ + + _Adieu, mon tres-cher,_ + _Votre ami tres-affectione_ + _&_ + _Valet bien humble_ + + May 1, 1723, + From my Garret in + Bandy-legged Walk. + + F. SANS-TERRE. + + _P.S._ I paid the waterman six-pence. + + +FINIS. + + + [Footnote 1: Heer, in High Dutch, is the same as Monsieur in + French, and is given to persons of the highest destinction.] + + [Footnote 2: The transition from _au bon pere_, which is pure + French, to a _bumper_, is very natural, and infinitely more so, + than that golden pippin should be derived from Cooper, which was + said to be effected, in process of time, after this manner, + Cooper, Hooper, Roper, Diaper, Napkin, Pipkin, King Pepin, Golden + Pippin.] + + + + +_Lately published by C. CHAPPLE, Pall Mall_. + + +Embellished with an interesting Frontispiece, designed by Craig, +and engraved by Rhodes, price 7s. extra boards, small 8vo. + +1. THE TEST OF VIRTUE, and other Poems. + By the late Miss P. Barrel. + +2. RELIGIONISM, or POPULAR PREACHERS, alias PULPITEERS, a Satire, price +4s. boards. + +3. POETICAL PANTHEON; or, Fabulus History of the Heathen Gods and +illustrious Heroes, with Notes, and embellished with twelve elegant +Engravings, rendered into easy Verse. By W. R. Johnson, A.M. price 6s. +extra boards. + +4. POEMS; chiefly Comic and Hudibrastic, containing Burlesque +Translations, Dramatic Pieces, and Miscellanies. By W. C. Oulton, Esq. +With a Portrait of the Author, Price 9s. boards. + +This volume includes some Dramas, Addresses, Songs, &c. which have been +performed, spoken, and sung at the different Theatres. + +5. LOVE OUTRIGHT!!! By a Lady. Small 4to. price 7s. extra boards. + +6. THE BEAUTIES OF THE ANTI-JACOBIN, or WEEKLY EXAMINER; containing the +whole of the excellent Poetry, and the permanent Parts of the Prose of +that highly esteemed Work. 1 vol. demy 12mo. 5s. boards. + +7. LOVE'S LYRICS; or, CUPID'S CARNIVAL; original and translated. By +J. Scott Byerley, Esq. + + "Frustra laborat, qui omnibus placere studet." + +small 8vo. price 7s. extra boards. + + * * * * * + * * * * + * * * * * + +Errors and Inconsistencies (noted by transcriber) + +_Errors in French are noted separately, below._ + +Most non-standard spellings are carried over from the 1723 original. + +The title page of the 1723 edition included this paragraph, immediately +before the author's name: + + Confirmed by the example of heathens, Turks, infidels, + primitive Christians, saints, popes, bishops, doctors, + philosophers, poets, free masons, and other men of learning + in all ages + +Corrected text: + + Omnes unius estimemus assis. [uninus] + Montaigne[7] tells us [tell us; _1723 has "tells"_] + in his apology for Herodotus [hi apology: _1723 has "his"_] + PS. Cum corona ebrium [P. S.] + pars ego saepe fui [sepae] + Hic segetes, illic veniunt faelicius uvae. + [Hic segetis; misspelling "faelicius" for "felicius" unchanged] + There grows also most excellent wines in France [text unchanged] + +Unchanged text: + + holydays [one word] + weild + frier ["friar" also occurs] + ... lets put ... [no apostrophe] + desert [modern spelling "dessert"] + desart [modern spelling "desert" (noun)] + THE TIPLING PHILOSOPHERS. [spelled "tippling" elsewhere] + [Advertising] Fabulus History + + [Some Latin passages use the abbreviation "q;" for "que".] + Quis tulerit Gracchos de seditione quaerentes. + [error for "querentes"] + maechos [correct form is "moechos"; ae/oe variation is common] + + Spelling of names (representative list): + Final "e" omitted: Jerom, Augustin + Simple "e" for "ae" or "ae": Lacedemonia, Cecilius, Megera, Eschylus + French forms: Gascogn, Trimalchion + +Punctuation and Typography: + + [Contents] CHAP. II. That Wine ... [CHAP II.] + [Contents] out-of-the-Way Thoughts [out-of-the-Way-Thoughts] + Be merry to-day, depend not on to-morrow [1723 has hyphen] + _... ex superfluorum potuum indulgentia[2]_. [" at end] + "Sanctus Dominicus sit [' for "] + "Illa dies haec est [' for "] + but undoubtedly Bacchus is your liber pater + [invisible hyphen at line-break "un-/doubtedly"] + [Chapter XVI] [Footnote 21: Voyag. t. ii. p. 129.] [t. ii p. 129.] + _Hanno_[11], says he ... [not italicized] + say this, or that, of us----. [. missing] + +Unchanged quotation marks (unless otherwise noted, close quote is +missing at end): + + a perfect cure for heaviness and sorrow. + so far as an old drunkard[8]. + That experience proves ... people that "have infinitely more wit + [1723 has open quote before "That..." instead of "have..."] + Le don de l'immortalite. + Perfusis halante mero gaudere sepulchris. + Nor this other, [open quote missing] + habitet in sicco._ To which ... addition, It is very probable + [missing close quote after "in sicco"; open quote before "It is"] + to the age of fourscore. + spending his money to no purpose[15]. + [the footnote symbols shown as [15] and [17] were also misprinted] + Crateras magnas statuunt et vina coronant. + drive away care. ... pellite curas._" + [close quote should be after "care"] + namely, eloquence. + +French: + +_Unless otherwise noted, accents were printed as shown. This includes +pairs such as a:a and ou:ou. Some questioned readings were checked +against the 1714 French original._ + + Qu' importe si c'est un plaisir, [Qu' importe] + "Oui, Thirsis, c'est le vin qui nous fait rejeunir, [cest] + Le regret de choses passees, [possees] + Chaque coup m'ote la memorie [memorie] + Nous la permet pour la sante!" [sante] + Qu'il faut a chaque mois. [Qui'l] + Venez yvresse temeraire, + Transports ignorez du vulgaire [temerarie ... vulgarie] + "Nous devons tous boire en repos [boire] + Son noms ses armes sont des pots [son noms] + "De ceux qui vivent dans l'histoire, [historie] + Ma foi je n'envierai le sort. [fois] + Nargues du Temple de Memoire [Memorie] + J'aime bien mieux vivre pendant ma vie [ma vin] + Mais que te sert il que ta gloire [glorie] + Quand tu seras mange des vers? [mange] + Elle-meme joueit des objets qu'elle a feints. + [Elle-meme jouit l'objets qu'elle a fenits: + _line corrected from 1714 original_] + "[10]Buveurs brisez le joug d'une raison trop fiere [Buveur's briser] + D'autres enseignent l'art d'augmenter sa lumiere [d'augmente] + Mais l'art de l'eteindre est plus beau." [l'art eteindre] + Qui dit qu'il faut a chaque mois [fait] + De ce qu'Alexandre le grand, [qu' Alexandre] + Le vin retarde plus la mort, qu'il ne la hate, [hate] + En pleurs a ce que dit l'histoire, [ce] + Au plaisir, a la bonne chere. [bonne] + +Greek: + + +pheu tines hudor / pinousi manien sophrona mainomenoi.+ + + Quotation as printed: + +pheu tines udor / piuousi manien sophrona mainomenoi.+ + [The 1723 edition, or its reprint, has far more errors.] + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ebrietatis Encomium, by +Boniface Oinophilus and Albert-Henri de Sallengre + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK EBRIETATIS ENCOMIUM *** + +***** This file should be named 29188.txt or 29188.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/9/1/8/29188/ + +Produced by Louise Hope, Curtis Weyant and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by the Posner Memorial Collection +(http://posner.library.cmu.edu/Posner/)) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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