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diff --git a/29226.txt b/29226.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..01747f9 --- /dev/null +++ b/29226.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3788 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Fall of British Tyranny, by John Leacock + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Fall of British Tyranny + American Liberty Triumphant + +Author: John Leacock + +Editor: Montrose J. Moses + +Release Date: June 26, 2009 [EBook #29226] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FALL OF BRITISH TYRANNY *** + + + + +Produced by David Starner, Brownfox and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +TRANSCRIBERS' NOTES + +This e-book contains the text of _The Fall of British Tyranny_, +extracted from Representative Plays by American Dramatists: Vol 1, +1765-1819. Comments and background to all the plays and the other plays +are available at Project Gutenberg. + +Spelling as in the original has been preserved. + + + + +THE FALL + +OF + +BRITISH TYRANNY + +_By_ JOHN LEACOCK + + + + +JOHN LEACOCK + + +Among the elusive figures of early American Drama stands John Leacock, +author of "The Fall of British Tyranny,"[1] published in 1776, in +Philadelphia. Even more elusive is the identification, inasmuch as his +name has been spelled variously Leacock, Lacock, and Laycock. To add to +the confusion, Watson's "Annals of Philadelphia," on the reminiscent +word of an old resident of that town, declares that Joseph Leacock +penned "The Medley."[2] "He wrote also a play, with good humour," says +this authority, "called 'British Tyranny.'" On careful search of the +files, no definite information in regard to Leacock has been +forthcoming. The dedication to "The Fall of British Tyranny" was signed +"Dick Rifle," but there is no information to be traced from this +pseudonym. + +Searching the Colonial Records of Pennsylvania, I discovered no less +than three John Leacocks mentioned, all of whom were Coroners, as well +as a Joseph Leacock, who occupied the same position. Examining the +Records of the Pennsylvania Soldiers of the Revolution, I found several +John Leacocks in the ranks as privates, and also one John Laycock. + +Professor Moses Coit Tyler, in his "Literary History of the American +Revolution" (ii, 198), giving a list of the characters in the play and +the names of those supposed to be lampooned, analyzes the piece +thoroughly, and says, "From internal evidence, it must be inferred that +the writing of the play was finished after the publication of 'Common +Sense' in January, 1776, and before the news had reached Philadelphia of +the evacuation of Boston, March 17, 1776." Though Sabin takes for +granted that Leacock wrote "The Fall of British Tyranny," Hildeburn, in +the "Issues of the Press" (ii, 249), states that it is "said to have +been written by Mr. Laycock of Philadelphia." If the John Leacock, whose +name appears in the Philadelphia Directory of 1802, is the one who wrote +"The Fall of British Tyranny," following that clue we find his name +disappearing from the Directory in 1804. Hence, he must either have +died, or have moved away from Philadelphia. + +The elusive name of Leacock is to be considered also in connection with +an opera entitled, "The Disappointment; or, The Force of Credulity," +signed by Andrew Barton,[3] supposed to be a pseudonym, and attributed +variously to "Colonel" Thomas Forrest and to John Leacock. I already +have had occasion to mention "The Disappointment" in connection with +Godfrey's "The Prince of Parthia." The reader will remember that in 1767 +"The Disappointment" was put into rehearsal, but was suddenly withdrawn +in preference to Godfrey's piece. This play has been fully and +interestingly analyzed by O. G. Sonneck, who gives the reasons for the +withdrawal of the play from rehearsal by the American Company of +Philadelphia, 1767. These reasons are definitely stated in the +_Pennsylvania Gazette_ for April 16, 1767, which contains this warning +in the American Company's advertisement of "The Mourning Bride": "N.B. +'The Disappointment' (that was advertised for Monday), as it contains +personal Reflections, is unfit for the Stage." + +The reason why this piece is attributed to "Colonel" Thomas Forrest is +that there is a memorandum in substantiation on the title-page of a copy +owned by the Library Company of Philadelphia. + +Mr. Sonneck gives further and more extensive treatment of the subject in +his excellent book on "Early Opera in America," (Schirmer, 1915) as well +as in "Sammelbaende der Internationale Musik Gesellschaft," for +1914-1915. + +We mention the matter here, because, although Sonneck enters into a long +discussion of the life of Forrest, he fails to give any satisfactory +account of John Leacock. In fact, he says in closing, "If Andrew Barton, +Esq., is to be a pseudonym, it seems to me that John Leacock, claimed +(by Mr. Hildeburn) to have written the tragi-comedy of 'The Fall of +British Tyranny,' should not be cast aside so cheerfully in favour of +Thomas Forrest." + +Seilhamer and Durang, referring to the matter, mention Joseph Leacock as +a claimant for the authorship of "The Disappointment," and say that he +was a jeweler and a silversmith in Philadelphia; they also mention John +Leacock, the Coroner. Durang, in the "History of the Philadelphia +Stage," throws all weight in favour of Thomas Forrest. Sonneck says +further, regarding the matter,--"We may dispose of Joseph by saying that +he seems to have been among the dead when, in 1796, the second edition +of 'The Disappointment,' revised and corrected by the author, was +issued. On the other hand, Coroner John Leacock figures in the +Philadelphia Directories even later." + +So the matter stands. The play, however, is a very definite +contribution, illustrating how quickly the American spirit changed in +the days preceding the Revolution. Imagine, in 1762, the students of the +College of New Jersey giving a piece entitled "The Military Glory of +Great Britain;"[4] and so short a time afterwards, only fourteen years, +in fact, a piece with the title, "The Fall of British Tyranny," being +greeted by the theatre-going public! Leacock's attempt may be taken as +the first example that we have of an American chronicle play. And it is +likewise significant as being the first literary piece in which George +Washington appears as a character. In the advertisement, the play is +thus described (see Ford): + +"A pleasing scene between Roger and Dick, two shepherds near Lexington. + +"Clarissa, etc. A very moving scene on the death of Dr. Warren, etc., in +a chamber near Boston, the morning after the battle of Bunker's Hill. + +"A humorous scene between the Boatswain and a Sailor on board a +man-of-war, near Norfolk in Virginia. + +"Two very laughable scenes between the Boatswain, two Sailors and the +Cook, exhibiting specimens of seafaring oratory, and peculiar eloquence +of those sons of Neptune, touching Tories, Convicts, and Black Regulars: +and between Lord Kidnapper and the Boatswain. + +"A very black scene between Lord Kidnapper and Major Cudjo. + +"A religious scene between Lord Kidnapper, Chaplain, and the Captain. + +"A scene, the Lord Mayor, etc., going to St. James's with the address. + +"A droll scene, a council of war in Boston, Admiral Tombstone, Elbow +Room, Mr. Caper, General Clinton and Earl Piercy. + +"A diverting scene between a Whig and a Tory. + +"A spirited scene between General Prescott and Colonel Allen. + +"A shocking scene, a dungeon, between Colonel Allen and an officer of +the guard. + +"Two affecting scenes in Boston after the flight of the regulars from +Lexington, between Lord Boston, messenger and officers of the guard. + +"A patriotic scene in the camp at Cambridge, between the Generals +Washington, Lee, and Putnam, etc., etc." + +It is interesting to note that in the Abbe Robin's discerning remarks, +concerning the effect of drama on the pupils of Harvard in 1781, and on +the general appeal of drama among the American Patriots, he mentions +"The Fall of British Tyranny" without giving the author's name. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[1] The Fall/of/British Tyranny;/or,/American Liberty/Triumphant./The +First Campaign./A Tragi-Comedy of Five Acts,/as Lately Planned/at the +Royal Theatrum Pandemonium,/at St. James's./The Principal Place of +Action in America./Publish'd According to Act of Parliament./Quis furor +o cives! quae tanta licentia ferri?/Lucan. lib. I. ver. 8./What blind, +detested madness could afford/Such horrid licence to the murd'ring +sword?/Rowe./Philadelphia:/Printed by Styner and Cist, in +Second-street,/near Arch-street. M DCC LXXVI. + +[2] "The Medley; or, Harlequin Have At Ye All." A pantomime produced at +Covent Garden, and published in 1778. + +[3] From Sabin, I take the following: + +BARTON (A.) "The Disappointment; or, The Force of Credulity." A new +American Comic Opera, of two Acts. By Andrew Barton, Esq. [Motto.] _New +York, Printed in the year_ M, DCC, LXVIII. 8vo. pp. v., 58. P. t. Second +edition, revised and corrected, with large additions, by the Author. +_Philadelphia_, Francis Shallus, 1796. 12 mo. pp. iv., 94, p. 3801. +[Sabin also notes that the Philadelphia Library copy is very rare, with +MS Key to the characters, who were Philadelphians. Air No. iv is Yankee +Doodle (1767).] + +[4] The Title-page runs as follows: + +The/Military Glory/of/Great-Britain,/an/Entertainment,/given by the late +Candidates for/Bachelor's Degree,/At the close of the/Anniversary +Commencement, held/in/Nassau-Hall/New-Jersey/September 29th, +1762./Philadelphia:/Printed by William Bradford, M, DCC, LXII. + + + + +[Illustration: THE FALL + +OF + +BRITISH TYRANNY + +OR, + +AMERICAN LIBERTY + +_TRIUMPHANT_. + +THE FIRST CAMPAIGN. + +A _TRAGI-COMEDY_ OF FIVE ACTS, + +AS LATELY PLANNED + +AT THE ROYAL THEATRUM PANDEMONIUM, AT ST. JAMES'S. + +THE PRINCIPAL PLACE OF ACTION IN AMERICA. + + +PUBLISH'D. ACCORDING TO ACT OF PARLIAMENT. + + +Quis furor o cives! quae tanta licentia ferri? + +LUCAN. lib. 1. ver. 8. + + _What blind, detested madness could afford + Such horrid license to the murd'ring sword?_ + +ROWE. + + +_PHILADELPHIA:_ + +PRINTED BY STYNER AND CIST, IN SECOND-STREET, NEAR ARCH-STREET. M DCC +LXXVI. + + +FAC-SIMILE TITLE-PAGE OF THE FIRST EDITION] + + + + +_THE DEDICATION_ + +To Lord Boston, Lord Kidnapper, and the innumerable and never-ending + Clan of Macs and Donalds upon Donalds, and the Remnant of the + Gentlemen Officers, Actors, Merry Andrews, strolling Players, + Pirates, and Buccaneers in America. + + +My Lords and Gentlemen: + +_Understanding you are vastly fond of plays and farces, and frequently +exhibit them for your own amusement, and the laudable purpose of +ridiculing your masters (the YANKEES, as you call 'em), it was expected +you would have been polite enough to have favoured the world, or America +at least (at whose expense you act them), with some of your play-bills, +or with a sample of your composition._ + +_I shall, however, not copy your churlishness, but dedicate the +following Tragi-Comedy to your patronage, and for your future +entertainment; and as the most of you have already acted your particular +parts of it, both comic and tragic, in reality at Lexington, +Bunker's-Hill, the Great-Bridge, &c., &c., &c., to the very great +applause of yourselves, tho' not of the whole house, no doubt you will +preserve the marks, or memory of it, as long as you live, as it is wrote +in capital American characters and letters of blood on your posteriors: +And however some Whigs may censure you for your affected mirth (as they +term it, in the deplorable situation you are now in, like hogs in a pen, +and in want of elbow room), yet I can by no means agree with them, but +think it a proof of true heroism and philosophy, to endeavour to make +the best of a bad bargain, and laugh at yourselves, to prevent others +from laughing at you; and tho' you are deprived of the use of your +teeth, it is no reason you should be bereaved of the use of your +tongues, your eyes, your ears, and your risible faculties and powers. +That would be cruel indeed! after the glorious and fatiguing campaign +you have made, and the many signal victories obtained over whole herds +of cattle and swine, routing flocks of sheep, lambs and geese, storming +hen-roosts, and taking them prisoners, and thereby raising the glory of +Old England to a pitch she never knew before. And ye Macs, and ye +Donalds upon Donalds, go on, and may our gallows-hills and liberty poles +be honour'd and adorn'd with some of your heads: Why should Tyburn and +Temple-bar make a monopoly of so valuable a commodity?_ + +_Wishing you abundance of entertainment in the re-acting this +Tragi-Comedy, and of which I should be proud to take a part with you, +tho' I have reason to think you would not of choice let me come within +three hundred yards of your stage, lest I should rob you of your +laurels, receive the clap of the whole house, and pass for a second +Garrick among you, as you know I always act with applause, speak +bold--point blank--off hand--and without prompter._ + +_I am_, My Lords and Gentlemen Buffoons, + + _Your always ready humble servant,_ + + DICK RIFLE. + + + + +THE PREFACE + + +Solomon said, "Oppression makes a wise man mad:" but what would he have +said, had he lived in these days, and seen the oppression of the people +of Boston, and the distressed situation of the inhabitants of +Charlestown, Falmouth, Stonnington, Bristol, Norfolk, &c.? Would he not +have said, "The tongue of the sucking child cleaveth to the roof of his +mouth for thirst; the young children ask for bread, but no man breaketh +it unto them?" "They that did feed delicately, perish in the streets; +they that were brought up in scarlet, embrace the dung." What would he +have said of rejected petitions, disregarded supplications, and +contemned remonstrances? Would he not have said, "From hardness of +heart, good Lord, deliver us?" What would he have said of a freeborn +people butchered--their towns desolated, and become an heap of +ashes--their inhabitants become beggars, wanderers and vagabonds--by the +cruel orders of an unrelenting tyrant, wallowing in luxury, and wantonly +wasting the people's wealth, to oppress them the more? Would he not have +said, it was oppression and ingratitude in the highest degree, exceeding +the oppression of the children of Israel? and, like Moses, have cried +out, let the people go? Would he not have wondered at our patience and +long-suffering, and have said, "'Tis time to change our master!--'Tis +time to part!"--And had he been an American born, would he not have +shewed his wisdom by adopting the language of independency? Happy then +for America in these fluctuating times, she is not without her Solomons, +who see the necessity of heark'ning to reason, and listening to the +voice of COMMON SENSE. + + + + +THE GODDESS OF LIBERTY + + + Hail! Patriots,[5] hail! by me inspired be! + Speak boldly, think and act for Liberty, + United sons, America's choice band, + Ye Patriots firm, ye sav'ours of the land. + Hail! Patriots, hail! rise with the rising sun, + Nor quit your labour, till the work is done. + Ye early risers in your country's cause, + Shine forth at noon, for Liberty and Laws. + Build a strong tow'r, whose fabric may endure + Firm as a rock, from tyranny secure. + Yet would you build my fabric to endure, + Be your hearts warm--but let your hands be pure. + Never to shine, yourselves, your country sell; + But think you nobly, while in place act well. + Let no self-server general trust betray, + No picque, no party, bar the public way. + Front an arm'd world, with union on your side: + No foe shall shake you--if no friends divide. + At night repose, and sweetly take your rest; + None sleeps so sound as those by conscience blest; + May martyr'd patriots whisper in your ear, + To tread the paths of virtue without fear; + May pleasing visions charm your patriot eyes; + While Freedom's sons shall hail you blest and wise, + Hail! my last hope, she cries, inspired by me, + Wish, talk, write, fight, and die--for LIBERTY. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[5] The Congress + + + + +THE PROLOGUE + +_Spoken by_ Mr. Peter Buckstail. + + + Since 'tis the fashion, preface, prologue next, + Else what's a play?--like sermon without text! + Since 'tis the fashion then, I'll not oppose; + For what's a man if he's without a nose? + The curtain's up--the music's now begun, + What is 't?--Why murder, fire, and sword, and gun. + What scene?--Why blood!--What act?--Fight and be free! + Or be ye slaves--and give up liberty! + Blest Continent, while groaning nations round + Bend to the servile yoke, ignobly bound, + May ye be free--nor ever be opprest + By murd'ring tyrants, but a land of rest! + What say ye to 't? what says the audience? + Methinks I hear some whisper COMMON SENSE. + Hark! what say them Tories?--Silence--let 'em speak, + Poor fools! dumb--they hav'n't spoke a word this week, + Dumb let 'em be, at full end of their tethers, + 'Twill save the expense of tar and of feathers: + Since old Pluto's lurch'd 'em, and swears he does not know + If more these Tory puppy curs will bark or no. + Now ring the bell--Come forth, ye actors, come, + The Tragedy's begun, beat, beat the drum, + Let's all advance, equipt like volunteers, + Oppose the foe, and banish all our fears. + We will be free--or bravely we will die, } + And leave to Tories tyrants' legacy, } + And all our share of its dependency. } + + + + +DRAMATIS PERSONAE + + +LORD PARAMOUNT, Mr. Bute. +LORD MOCKLAW, Mr. Mansfield. +LORD HYPOCRITE, Mr. Dartmouth. +LORD POLTRON, Mr. Sandwich. +LORD CATSPAW, Mr. North. +LORD WISDOM, Mr. Chatham. +LORD RELIGION, Bishop of St. Asaph. +LORD JUSTICE, Mr. Camden. +LORD PATRIOT, Mr. Wilkes. +BOLD IRISHMAN, Mr. Burke. +JUDAS, Mr. Hutchinson. +CHARLEY, Mr. Jenkinson. +BRAZEN, Mr. Wedderburne. +COLONEL, Mr. Barre. +LORD BOSTON, Mr. Gage. +ADMIRAL TOMBSTONE, Mr. Graves. +ELBOW ROOM,[6] Mr. Howe. +MR. CAPER, Mr. Burgoyne. +LORD KIDNAPPER, Mr. Dunmore. +GENERAL WASHINGTON. +GENERAL LEE. +GENERAL PUTNAM. + +_Officers, Soldiers, Sailors, Citizens, Negroes, &c., &c., &c._ + +FOOTNOTES: + +[6] It seems to be generally thought that the expression of "Elbow Room" +is to be attributed to General Howe, and not to General Burgoyne. + + + + +THE FALL + +OF + +BRITISH TYRANNY, &c. + + + + +ACT I. + + +SCENE I. _At St. James's._ + +LORD PARAMOUNT [_solus, strutting about_]. + +Many long years have rolled delightfully on, whilst I have been basking +in the sunshine of grandeur and power, whilst I have imperceptibly (tho' +not unsuspected) guided the chariot of state, and greased with the +nation's gold the imperial wheels. + +'Tis I that move the mighty engine of royalty, and with the tincture of +my somniferous opiate or (in the language of a courtier) by the virtue +of my secret influence, I have lulled the axletree to sleep, and brought +on a pleasing insensibility. + +Let their champion, Lord Wisdom, groan, he is now become feeble and +impotent, a mere cripple in politics; their Lord Patriot's squint has +lost its basilisk effect: and the bold Irishman may bellow the _Keenew_ +till he's hoarse, he's no more when compar'd to me than an Irish salmon +to a Scotch herring: I care not a bawbee for them all. I'll reign in +Britain, I'll be king of their counsels, and chief among the princes. + +Oh! ambition, thou darling of my soul! stop not till I rise superior to +all superlative, till I mount triumphantly the pinnacle of glory, or at +least open the way for one of my own family and name to enter without +opposition. + +The work is now cut out, and must be finish'd, I have ventur'd too far +to recede, my honour's at stake, my importance, nay my life, depends +upon it! + +Last night's three hours' closeting has effectually done the business; +then I spoke my mind in such terms as to make a lasting impression, +never to be eradicated--all--all was given up to me, and now since I +hold the reins of government, since I am possessed of supreme power, +every thing shall be subservient to my royal will and pleasure. + + +SCENE II. + +_Enter MOCKLAW._ + +MOCKLAW. I am your Lordship's most obedient humble servant. + +PARAMOUNT. Be seated,--I sent for you to have a small conference with +you--and to let you know, your advice respecting certain points of law, +I have found succeeded to admiration; even beyond my most sanguine +expectations. + +MOCKLAW. I am heartily glad of it, altho' the advice I gave your +Lordship, I cannot say, was law; yet, your Lordship can easily pass it +as such by a royal proclamation: and should it ever be disputed, I have +quirks and quibbles enough at your service, with Mr. Brazen and Mr. +Attorney-General's assistance, to render it so doubtful, obscure and +ambiguous, as to puzzle Lord Justice, perplex Dunning, and confound +Glynn. + +PARAMOUNT. Can you show me an instance of a royal proclamation passing +for a law? or advise me how to make it such, if you can, I shall make it +well worth your study. + +MOCKLAW. My Lord, as you have now got a parliament exactly to your mind, +ev'ry thing you propose will be granted; but in order that you may see +precedents are not wanting--there is a statute in the reign of Henry the +8th that expressly shews the then parliament passed a law that the +king's proclamation should be the law of the land-- + +PARAMOUNT. Are you sure of that? + +MOCKLAW. My Lord, here it is--this is real law: _Luce meridiana +clariora_. When we find any thing of this kind, ready made to our hands, +it's a treasure we should never part with. + + [_PARAMOUNT reads._ + +PARAMOUNT. I see it plain! this, this alone is worth a ton of +gold.--Now, by St. Andrew! I'll strike a stroke that shall surprise all +Europe, and make the boldest of the adverse party turn pale and +tremble--Scotch politics, Scotch intrigues, Scotch influence, and Scotch +impudence (as they have termed it), they shall see ere long shine with +unheard of splendour, and the name of Lord Paramount the mighty, shall +blaze in the annals of the world with far greater lustre (as a +consummate politician) than the name of Alexander the Great, as an hero! + +MOCKLAW. That day I much wish for,--but, with your Lordship's +permission, I would just mention, that secrecy and dissimulation are the +soul of enterprise; your Lordship hath many enemies, who watch ev'ry +movement of state with a jealous and wary eye. + +PARAMOUNT. I know it, but the futile attempts of my timid adversaries +have hitherto proved abortive--so far I have borne down all opposition, +and those (even some of the greatest of them) who not long since were my +most open, as well as secret enemies, I now behold with the most +princely pleasure, the earliest to attend, to congratulate me on my +birthday, tho' uninvited, bow down, and make the most submissive +congees. Have you not seen this, Mocklaw? and how I keep them in +expectation of something, by now and then bestowing part of a gracious +smile amongst a dozen of them? + +MOCKLAW. I have, my Lord, and no doubt they interpret that as a +favourable omen;--however, policy, my Lord, would dictate that to you, +if there were no other consideration. + +PARAMOUNT. True, and yet they are cursedly mistaken--and now, Mocklaw, +as I have ever found you to be well dispos'd towards me, and the cause I +espouse, and as I trust you continue satisfy'd with my former bounty, +and my promise now of granting you a pension for life, with liberty to +retire, I shall make you my confident, and disclose to you a secret no +man except myself yet knows, which I expect you have so much honour to +let it remain a secret to all the world (I mean as to the main point I +have in view). + +MOCKLAW. Depend upon it, my Lord, I am sincerely devoted to your +Lordship, command me, I care not what it is, I'll screw, twist and +strain the law as tight as a drumhead, to serve you. + +PARAMOUNT. I shall at this time but just give you a hint of the plan +I've drawn up in my own mind. You must have perceived in me a secret +hankering for majesty for some time past, notwithstanding my age;--but +as I have considered the great dislike the nation in general have, as to +my person, I'll wave my own pretensions, and bend my power and assiduity +to it in favour of one, the nearest a kin to me, you know who I mean, +and a particular friend of yours, provided I continue to be dictator, +as at present; and further, I intend America shall submit. What think +you of it so far? + +MOCKLAW. A day I've long wish'd to see! but you stagger me, my Lord, not +as to my honour, secrecy, or resolution to serve you, but as to the +accomplishment of such grand designs. + +PARAMOUNT. 'Tis true, I have undertaken a mighty task, a task that would +have perplexed the Council of Nice, and stagger'd even Julius +Caesar--but-- + +MOCKLAW. You have need, my Lord, of all your wisdom, fortitude and +power, when you consider with whom you have to contend--Let me see--Lord +Wisdom--Lord Religion--Lord Justice--Lord Patriot--the bold Irishman, +&c., &c., &c., and the wisdom of the United Colonies of America in +Congress to cope with; as individuals they are trifling, but in league +combined may become potent enemies. + +PARAMOUNT. Granted--But are you so little of a lawyer as not to know the +virtue of a certain specific I'm possess'd of, that will accomplish any +thing, even to performing miracles? Don't you know there's such sweet +music in the shaking of the treasury keys, that they will instantly lock +the most babbling patriot's tongue? transform a Tory into a Whig, and a +Whig into a Tory? make a superannuated old miser dance, and an old Cynic +philosopher smile. How many thousand times has your tongue danc'd at +Westminster Hall to the sound of such music? + +MOCKLAW. Enchanting sounds, powerful magic, there's no withstanding the +charms of such music, their potency and influence are irresistible--that +is a point of law I can by no means give up, of more force than all the +acts of parliament since the days of King Alfred. + +PARAMOUNT. I'm glad you acknowledge that--Now then for a line of +politics--I propose to begin first by taxing America, as a blind--that +will create an eternal animosity between us, and by sending over +continually ships and troops, this will, of course, produce a civil +war--weaken Britain by leaving her coasts defenseless, and impoverish +America; so that we need not fear any thing from that quarter. Then the +united fleets of France and Spain with troops to appear in the channel, +and make a descent, while my kinsman with thirty thousand men lands in +Scotland, marches to London, and joins the others: What then can prevent +the scheme from having the wish'd for effect? This is the main point, +which keep to yourself. + +MOCKLAW. If it has failed heretofore, 'tis impossible it should fail +now; nothing within the reach of human wisdom was ever planned so +judiciously; had Solomon been alive, and a politician, I would have +sworn your Lordship had consulted him.--But I would beg leave to hint to +your Lordship the opposition to be apprehended from the militia of +England, and the German forces that may be sent for according to treaty. + +PARAMOUNT. As to the militia, they are half of them my friends, witness +Lancaster, Manchester, Liverpool, &c., &c., &c., the other half scarce +ever fired a gun in their lives, especially those of London; and I shall +take care by shaking the keys a little to have such officers appointed +over them, who are well known to be in my interest. As to the German +forces, I have nothing to apprehend from them; the parliament can soon +pass an act against the introduction of foreign troops, except the +French or Spaniards, who can't be called foreign, they are our friends +and nearest neighbours. Have you any thing further to object against the +probability of this plan? + +MOCKLAW. Nothing, my Lord, but the people of Ireland, who must be +cajoled or humbugg'd. + +PARAMOUNT. As to that, let me alone, I shall grant the Roman Catholics, +who are by far the most numerous, the free exercise of their religion, +with the liberty of bearing arms, so long unjustly deprived of, and +disarm in due time all the Protestants in their turn. + +MOCKLAW. That will be a noble stroke, the more I consider it, the more +I'm surpris'd at your Lordship's profound wisdom and foresight: I think +success is certain. + +PARAMOUNT. Then this is the favourable crisis to attempt it; 'tis not +the thought of a day, a month, or a year. Have you any more objections? + +MOCKLAW. I have one more, my Lord-- + +PARAMOUNT. Well, pray let's hear it; these lawyers will be heard. + +MOCKLAW. The Bishops and Clergy are a powerful, numerous body; it would +be necessary, my Lord, to gain them over, or keep them silent--A +religious war is the worst of wars. + +PARAMOUNT. You are very right, I have 'em fast enough--Mammon will work +powerfully on them--The keys--the keys--His Grace my Lord of Suffolk is +managing this business for me, and feeding them with the hopes of being +all created Archbishops here, and each to have a diocese, and Bishops +of their own appointment in America; not a city or town there but must +be provided with a Bishop: There let religion erect her holy altars, by +which means their revenues will be augmented beyond that of a Cardinal. +All this we must make 'em believe. + +MOCKLAW. True, my Lord, what is a Bishop without faith? This is the +grandest stroke of religious circumvention that ever was struck.--I've +done, my Lord. + +PARAMOUNT. Very well, you'll not fail to meet the privy council here +this evening; in the mean time you'll go and search the statutes for +other precedents to strengthen the cause; and remember I have enjoin'd +you to secrecy. + +MOCKLAW. Depend upon it, my Lord, I cannot prove ungrateful to your +Lordship, nor such an enemy to myself. + + [_Exit MOCKLAW._ + + +SCENE III. LORD PARAMOUNT [_solus_]. + +This Mocklaw is a cursed knowing dog, and I believe the father of +Brazen; how readily he found an old act of parliament to my purpose, as +soon as I told him I would make it worth his study; and the thoughts of +a pension will make him search his old worm-eaten statute books from the +reign of King Arthur down to this present time; how he raises objections +too to make me think his mind is ever bent on study to serve me. The +shaking of the treasury keys is a fine bait. [_Rings the bell._] +Charters, magna chartas, bill of rights, acts of assembly, resolves of +congresses, trials by juries (and acts of parliament too) when they make +against us, must all be annihilated; a suspending power I approve of, +and of royal proclamations. + + [_Enter CHARLEY._ + +CHARLEY. I wait your Lordship's orders. + +PARAMOUNT. Write a number of cards, and see that the Lords of the privy +council, and Mr. Judas, be summoned to give their attendance this +evening at six o'clock, at my Pandemonium. + +CHARLEY. I'm gone, my Lord. + + [_Exit CHARLEY._ + +PARAMOUNT [_solus_]. + +How do we shew our authority? how do we maintain the royal prerogative? +keep in awe the knowing ones of the opposite party, and blind the eyes +of the ignorant multitude in Britain? Why, by spirited measures, by an +accumulation of power, of deception, and the shaking of the keys, we +may hope to succeed, should that fail, I'll enforce them with the +pointed bayonet; the Americans from one end to the other shall submit, +in spite of all opposition; I'll listen to no overtures of +reconciliation from any petty self-constituted congress, they shall +submit implicitly to such terms as I of my royal indulgence please to +grant. I'll shew them the impudence and weakness of their resolves, and +the strength of mine; I will never soften; my inflexibility shall stand +firm, and convince them the second Pharaoh is at least equal to the +first. I am unalterably determined at every hazard and at the risk of +every consequence to compel the colonies to absolute submission. I'll +draw in treasure from every quarter, and, Solomon-like, wallow in +riches; and Scotland, my dear Scotland, shall be the paradise of the +world. Rejoice in the name of Paramount, and the sound of a bawbee shall +be no more heard in the land of my nativity.-- + + +SCENE IV. + +_Enter CHARLEY in haste._ + +CHARLEY. My Lord, the notices are all served. + +PARAMOUNT. It's very well, Charley. + +CHARLEY. My Lord, be pleased to turn your eyes, and look out of the +window, and see the Lord Mayor, Aldermen, Common Council and Liverymen +going to St. James's with the address. + +PARAMOUNT. Where? Sure enough--Curse their impudence; how that squinting +scoundrel swells with importance--Mind, Charley, how fond he is of +bowing to the gaping multitude, and ev'ry upstart he sees at a window--I +hope he'll not turn his blear eyes t'wards me--I want none of his bows, +not I--Stand before me, Charley-- + +CHARLEY. I will, my Lord, and if he looks this way, I'll give him such a +devilish grin as best suits such fellows as him, and make him remember +it as long as he lives. + +PARAMOUNT. Do so, Charley; I hate the dog mortally, I religiously hate +him, and hope ere long to have satisfaction for his insolence and the +freedoms he has taken with me and my connections: I shall never forget +the many scandalous verses, lampoons and pasquinades he made upon us. + +CHARLEY. Indeed, he has used your Lordship too ill ever to be forgotten +or forgiven. + +PARAMOUNT. Damn him, I never intend to do either--See again how he +bows--there again--how the mob throw up their hats, split their throats; +how they huzza too; they make a mere god of the fellow; how they idolize +him--Ignorant brutes! + +CHARLEY. A scoundrel; he has climb'd up the stilts of preferment +strangely, my Lord. + +PARAMOUNT. Strangely, indeed; but it's our own faults. + +CHARLEY. He has had better luck than honester folks; I'm surpris'd to +think he has ever rose to the honour of presenting a remonstrance, or +rather, that he could ever have the impudence to think of remonstrating. + +PARAMOUNT. Aye, Charley, you see how unaccountably things turn out; his +audacity is unparalleled--a Newgate dog. + +CHARLEY. My Lord, I believe the fellow was never known to blush; and, +indeed, it's an observation I made some time ago, and I believe a just +one, without an exception, that those who squint never blush. + +PARAMOUNT. You must be mistaken, Charley. + +CHARLEY. No, my Lord, it's a fact, I had an uncle squinted exactly like +him, who was guilty of many scandalous things, and yet all the parish, +with the parson at their head, could not make him blush, so that at last +he became a by-word--Here comes old shame-the-devil; this dog is the +very spawn of him. + +PARAMOUNT. Hoot, mon, ye give your uncle a shocking character. + +CHARLEY. I only mention it, my Lord, for the similarity's sake. + +PARAMOUNT. For the spawn of him, and the similarity's sake, I'm apt to +think you've been abusing your own cousin all this while. + +CHARLEY. God forbid, my Lord, I should be any how allied to him. + +PARAMOUNT. I fancy, Charley, if the truth was known, your uncle did not +mention you in his will, and forgot to leave you the mansion-house and +farm at Gallows-hill. Am I right, Charley? + +CHARLEY. You're right, my Lord, upon my honour--but-- + +PARAMOUNT. I thought so--Well, never mind--Ha, ha, ha, who are those two +fat fellows there, that go in such state? + +CHARLEY. I suppose them to be a couple of Livery Tallow-chandlers, my +Lord, by their big bellies. + +PARAMOUNT. Ha, ha,--what work the guards would make amongst them--but +they must not be called yet.--And who are those other two behind 'em? + +CHARLEY. This is Mr. Hone, and the other Mr. Strap, a couple of the +Corporation Barbers, forsooth. + +PARAMOUNT. Ha, ha, ha, I thought they had been a couple of Dukes;--and +that one--who is he with the monstrous wig? + +CHARLEY. That is Mr. Alderman Pipeshank, in Newgate-street. + +PARAMOUNT. A parcel of Newgate dogs altogether--Well it is a good deal +of satisfaction to me to think how this fellow will be received at St. +James's; he'll not return back so pleas'd as he seems to be now, I +warrant you--I have taken care he shall meet with a d----d cold +reception there; he will have to make his appearance before Lord +Frostyface, Lord Scarecrow, Lord Sneerwell, Lord Firebrand, Lord +Mawmouth, Lord Waggonjaws, Lord Gripe, Lord Brass, Lord Surly and Lord +Tribulation, as hard-fac'd fellows as himself; and the beauty of it is, +not one of them loves him a whit more than I do. + +CHARLEY. That will be rare diversion for them that are present; he'll +look then, my Lord, like Sampson making sport for the Philistines. + +PARAMOUNT. Aye, but I wish he was as blind too, as Sampson was.--Well +Charley, we have been dispos'd to be a little merry with this ridiculous +parade, this high life below stairs. I wish you had begun your +description a little sooner, before they were all gone; the looks of +these wiseacres afford us some mirth, tho' we despise them and their +politics, and it's not unlikely it may end in blood--Be it so, I'm +prepar'd for the worst. + +CHARLEY. Rather so, my Lord, than submit to such rascals. + +PARAMOUNT. I'll give up my life first for a sacrifice. + + [_Exit CHARLEY._ + + +SCENE V. + +_Enter MOCKLAW, POLTRON, HYPOCRITE, CATSPAW, BRAZEN, JUDAS._ [_All +seated._] + +PARAMOUNT. My Lords and Gentlemen, it seems opposition to our measures +are making hasty strides; the discontented faction, the supporters and +encouragers of rebellion, and whole hearts are tainted therewith, seem +bent, if possible, on the destruction of Britain, and their own +aggrandisement. Are not the daily papers filled with treasonable +resolves of American congresses and committees, extracts of letters, +and other infamous pieces and scurrilous pamphlets, circulating with +unusual industry throughout the kingdom, by the enemies of Britain, +thereby poisoning the minds of our liege subjects with their detestable +tenets?--And did you not this day see the procession, and that vile +miscreant Lord Patriot at their head, going to St. James's with their +remonstrance, in such state and parade as manifestly tended to provoke, +challenge and defy majesty itself, and the powers of government? and yet +nothing done to stop their pernicious effects.--Surely, my Lords and +Gentlemen, you must agree with me, that it is now become highly +expedient that an immediate stop should be put to such unwarrantable and +dangerous proceedings, by the most vigorous and coercive measures. + +MOCKLAW. I entirely agree with your Lordship, and was ever firmly of +opinion, that licentiousness of every kind (particularly that of the +Press) is dangerous to the state; the rabble should be kept in awe by +examples of severity, and a proper respect should be enforced to +superiors. I have sufficiently shewn my dislike to the freedom of the +Press, by the examples I have frequently made (tho' too favourable) of +several Printers, and others, who had greatly trespassed, and if they +still persist, other measures should be taken with them, which the laws +will point out; and as to Lord Patriot, he's a fellow that has been +outlaw'd, scandal-proof, little to be got by meddling with him; I would +advise to let him alone for the present, and humble America first. + +MR. BRAZEN. I am very clear in it, please your Lordship; there are +numbers of men in this country who are ever studying how to perplex and +entangle the state, constantly thwarting government, in ev'ry laudable +undertaking; this clamorous faction must be curbed, must be subdued and +crush'd--our thunder must go forth, America must be conquered. I am for +blood and fire to crush the rising glories of America--They boast of her +strength; she must be conquered, if half of Germany is called to our +assistance. + +MR. POLTRON. I entirely agree with you, Mr. Brazen; my advice is, that +Lord Boston and Admiral Tombstone be immediately despatch'd to Boston, +with two or three regiments (tho' one would be more than sufficient) and +a few ships to shut up their ports, disannul their charter, stop their +trade, and the pusillanimous beggars, those scoundrel rascals, whose +predominant passion is fear, would immediately give up, on the first +landing of the regulars, and fly before 'em like a hare before the +hounds; that this would be the case, I pawn my honour to your Lordships, +nay, I'll sacrifice my life: My Lords, I have moreover the testimony of +General Amherst and Colonel Grant to back my assertion; besides, here's +Mr. Judas, let him speak. + +LORD HYPOCRITE. If this is the same Colonel Grant that was at Fort +Duquesne, the same that ran away from the French and Indians, the same +that was rescued by Colonel Washington, I have no idea of his honour or +testimony. + +LORD POLTRON. He's a Gentleman, my Lord Hypocrite, of undoubted +veracity. + +LORD HYPOCRITE. You might as well have said courage too, I have +exceptions against both; and as to General Amherst's assertion that he +could drive all America with five thousand men, he must have been +joking, as he is quite of a diff'rent opinion now. + +LORD CATSPAW. What is your opinion of your countrymen, Mr. Judas, with +respect to their courage? + +JUDAS. The same that I have ever told you, my Lord; as to true courage +they have none, I know 'em well--they have a plenty of a kind of +enthusiastic zeal, which they substitute in the room of it; I am very +certain they would never face the regulars, tho' with the advantage of +ten to one. + +LORD HYPOCRITE. All this, and a great deal more, would never convince me +of the general cowardice of the Americans--but of the cowardice of Grant +I've been long convinced, by numbers of letters formerly from +America--I'm for doing the business effectually; don't let us be too +sanguine, trust to stories told by every sycophant, and hurry heels over +head to be laugh'd at; the Americans are bold, stubborn, and sour; it +will require foreign assistance to subdue 'em. + +LORD CATSPAW. These four Americans, ignorant brutes, unbroke and wild, +must be tamed; they'll soon be humble if punish'd; but if disregarded, +grow fierce.--Barbarous nations must be held by fear, rein'd and spurr'd +hard, chain'd to the oar, and bow'd to due control, till they look grim +with blood; let's first humble America, and bring them under our feet; +the olive-branch has been held out, and they have rejected it; it now +becomes us to use the iron rod to break their disobedience; and should +we lack it, foreign assistance is at hand. + +LORD HYPOCRITE. All this I grant, but I'm for sending a force sufficient +to crush 'em at once, and not with too much precipitation; I am first +for giving it a colour of impartiality, forbearance and religion.--Lay +it before parliament; we have then law on our side, and endeavour to +gain over some or all of the Methodist Teachers, and in particular my +very good friend Mr. Wesley, their Bishop, and the worthy Mr. Clapum, +which task I would undertake; it will then have the sanction of +religion, make it less suspected, and give it a better grace. + +LORD CATSPAW. I should choose it to be done by consent of parliament; we +stand then on firmer ground; there's no doubt they'll grant ev'ry thing +your Lordship proposes upon my motion: but to tell the truth, I'd rather +be in Purgatory so long, than to run the gauntlet of the Bold Irishman's +tongue. + +MOCKLAW. Aye, aye, don't part with the law while it's in our favour, or +we can have it by asking for--and as to the Bold Irishman, don't be +brow-beaten, you must summon all your brass, and put on a rugged +highwayman's face like his; I expect some work of that kind too, but the +devil himself sha'n't browbeat me. + +PARAMOUNT. I am glad to find, my Lords and Gentlemen, you all see the +necessity of sending over troops and ships; I intend my Lord Catspaw +shall lay it before parliament, and am very certain they'll pass any +acts I can desire. I thank you, Lord Hypocrite, for your kind offer, and +accept of it; my Lord of Suffolk is negotiating the same business with +the rest of my Lords the Bishops, and will succeed; so that it will +carry the appearance of law, of religion, and will be sufficiently +grac'd; I'll warrant you no one shall have cause to complain of its +wanting grace. And now, my Lords and Gentlemen, as it's so late, and we +have gone through all the business at this time proposed, you are at +your liberty to withdraw. + + [_Exeunt._ + +PARAMOUNT [_solus_]. + +The fate of England and America is now fixed, irrevocably fixed; the +storm is ready to burst; the low'ring clouds portend their fate my +glory, their fall my triumph--But I must haste to be gone, the +ceremonies await my presence; deeds of darkness must be done by night, +and, like the silent mole's work, under ground: + + _Now rushing forth in sober twilight gray, + Like prowling wolf, who ranges for his prey._ + + [_Exit._ + + + + +ACT II. + + +SCENE I. + +LORD WISDOM, LORD RELIGION, LORD JUSTICE. + +LORD WISDOM. + +I much lament, my Lords, the present unhappy situation of my country; +where e'er I turn mine eyes, to Europe, Asia, Africa, or America, the +prospect appears the same--Look up to the throne, and behold your king, +if I may now call him by that soft title--Where is the wisdom, the +justice, the religion, that once adorn'd that throne, and shed the +benign influence of their bright rays thro' the four quarters of the +globe? Alas! they're flown! + +Mark his forlorn looks--his countenance dejected, a sullen greatness +fixed on his brow, as if it veil'd in blood some awful purpose, his eyes +flaming and sanguinary; how I bewail you, for your predecessor's sake! +Long, long have I been an old, and I trust a faithful, servant in the +family--Can I then restrain one tear? No, 'tis impossible! View that +arch-dragon, that old fiend, Paramount, that rebel in grain, whispering +in his ear. View his wretched ministers hovering round him, to +accomplish their accursed purpose, and accelerate his destruction. View +the whole herd of administration (I know 'em well) and tell me if the +world can furnish a viler set of miscreants? View both houses of +parliament, and count the number of Tyrants, Jacobites, Tories, +Placemen, Pensioners, Sycophants, and Panders. View the constitution, is +she not disrob'd and dismantled? is she not become like a virgin +deflower'd? View our fleets and armies commanded by bloody, murdering +butchers! View Britain herself as a sheep without a shepherd! And lastly +view America, for her virtue bleeding and for her liberty weltering in +her blood! + +LORD RELIGION. Such hath, and ever will be the fate of kings, who only +listen to the voice of pleasure, thrown in their way by the sirens of +administration, which never fail to swallow them up like quicksand--like +a serpent, who charms and fascinates, bewitches and enchants with his +eye the unwary bird; witness the fatal catastrophe of Rehoboam, who +rejected the counsel of the wise and experienced, and gave up all to the +advice and guidance of young, unskilful and wicked counsellors. Had he +listen'd to you, my Lord, had he followed your advice, all, all would +have gone well--Under your auspicious administration Britain +flourished, but ever since has been on the decline and patriotism, like +religion, scarcely now more than a sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal. + +LORD WISDOM. My counsel has been rejected--my conciliatory plan thrown +under the table, and treated with contempt; the experience of gray hairs +called the superannuated notions of old age--my bodily infirmities--my +tottering frame--my crazy carcase, worn out in the service of my +country, and even my very crutches, have been made the subject of their +ridicule. + +LORD JUSTICE. Gratitude, like religion and patriotism, are about taking +their flight, and the law of the land stands on tip-toe; the +constitution, that admirable fabric, that work of ages, the envy of the +world, is deflower'd indeed, and made to commit a rape upon her own body, +by the avaricious frowns of her own father, who is bound to protect her, +not to destroy.--Her pillars are thrown down, her capitals broke, her +pedestals demolish'd, and her foundation nearly destroy'd.--Lord +Paramount and his wretched adviser Mocklaw baffle all our efforts.--The +statutes of the land superseded by royal proclamations and dispensing +powers, &c., &c., the bloody knife to be held to the throats of the +Americans, and force them to submit to slav'ry.--Administration have +commenced bloody tyrants, and those that should protect the subject are +become their executioners; yet will I dispute with them inch by inch, +while there's a statute book left in the land. Come forth, thou grand +deceiver! I challenge thee to come forth! + +LORD WISDOM. Our friends must bestir themselves once more, perhaps we +may yet turn the scale.--If the voice of religion, wisdom and justice +should fail, let us sound the trumpet of liberty and patriotism, that +will conquer them in America, I know; let us try to storm them here with +the united whole, and if by a base majority they still carry their +point, we can nevertheless wash our hands and be clean. + +LORD RELIGION. From the pulpit, in the house of God, have I spoken +aloud, I have lifted up my voice like a trumpet. O Britain, how art thou +fallen! Hear now, O house of Britain, is it a small thing for you to +weary man, but will you weary your God also? In the house of Lords have +I borne my testimony: Hear now, O ye Princes, and I will yet declare in +Britain, and shew forth in America, I will not cease till I bring about +(if possible) unity, peace and concord. + +LORD WISDOM. Much to be wished for; but alas! I fear it's now too late; +I foresee the tendency and consequence of those diabolical measures that +have been pursued with unrelenting fury. Britain will ruin her trade, +waste her wealth, her strength, her credit and her importance in the +scale of Europe. When a British king proves ungrateful and haughty, and +strives to be independent of his people (who are his sole support), the +people will in their turn likewise strive to be independent of him and +his myrmidons, and will be free; they will erect the anfractuous +standard of independency, and thousands and tens of thousands will flock +to it, and solace themselves under its shade.--They has often been told +of this, but affected to despise it; they know not America's strength, +they are ignorant of it; fed by the flatt'ry of every sycophant tale, +imagine themselves almighty, and able to subdue the whole world. America +will be lost to Britain forever, and will prove her downfall. America is +wise, and will shake off the galling yoke before it be rivetted on them; +they will be drove to it, and who can blame them? Who can blame a +galley-slave for making his escape?--Britain will miscarry in her vile +projects, her knight errant, her Don Quixote schemes in America: America +will resist; they are not easily to be subdued (nay, 'tis impossible); +Britain will find it a harder task than to conquer France and Spain +united, and will cost 'em more blood and treasure than a twice Seven +Years' War with those European powers; they will stand out till Britons +are tired. Britain will invite her with kind promises and open arms; +America will reject them; America will triumph, rejoice and flourish, +and become the glory of the earth; Britain will languidly hold down her +head, and become first a prey to a vile Pretender, and then be subject +to the ravagers of Europe. I love the Americans, because they love +liberty. Liberty flourishes in the wilds of America. I honour the plant, +I revere the tree, and would cherish its branches. Let us, my friends, +join hands with them, follow their example, and endeavour to support +expiring liberty in Britain; whilst I have a tongue to speak, I will +support her wherever found; while I have crutches to crawl with, I will +try to find her out, and with the voice of an archangel will demand for +a sacrifice to the nation those miscreants who have wickedly and +wantonly been the ruin of their country. O Liberty! O my Country! + +LORD RELIGION. O Religion! O Virtue! whither art thou fleeing? O thou +Defender of the Faith? O ye mighty Lords and Commons! O ye deluded +Bishops, ye learned props of our unerring church, who preach up +vengeance, force and fire, instead of peace! be wise in time, lest the +Americans be driven to work out their own salvation without fear or +trembling. + + [_Exeunt._ + + +SCENE II. + +LORD PATRIOT, BOLD IRISHMAN, COLONEL. + +BOLD IRISHMAN. + +That Brazen Lawyer,[7] that Lord Chancellor, that wou'd be, held forth +surprisingly last night, he beat the drum in your ears, brother soldier. + +COLONEL. I think he did; he beat a Tatoo for us all. + +LORD PATRIOT. No politicians, but lawyer politicians, it seems will go +down; if we believe him, we must all turn lawyers now, and prate away +the liberties of the nation. + +COLONEL. Aye, first we must learn to rail at the clamourous faction, +disappointed politicians--ever restless--ever plotting--constantly +thwarting government, in laudable and blameable purposes.--Inconsiderable +party--inconsistent in their own politics--hostile to all government, +soured by disappointment, and urged by want--proceeding to unjustifiable +lengths--and then sound the magnanimity of a British senate, animated by +the sacred fire caught from a high-spirited people-- + +BOLD IRISHMAN. And the devil knows what beside--Magnanimity and sacred +fire, indeed!--Very magnanimous sounds, but pompous nothings! Why did he +not tell us where was the magnanimity of the British senate at the time +of the dispute about Falkland's Island? What sort of fire animated them +then?--Where was the high spirit of the people?--Strange sort of fire, +and strange sort of spirit, to give up to our inveterate enemies, the +Spaniards, our property unasked for, and cut our best friends and +brethren, the Americans' throats, for defending theirs against lawless +tyranny; their sacred fire became then all fume, and the strength of +their boasted spirits evaporated into invisible effluvium; the giant +then sunk sure enough spontaneously into a dwarf; and now, it seems, the +dwarf having been feeding upon smoky fire and evaporated spirits, is +endeavouring to swell himself into a giant again, like the frog in the +fable, till he bursts himself in silent thunder--But let the mighty +Philistine, the Goliath Paramount, and his oracle Mocklaw, with their +thunder bellowed from the brazen mortar-piece of a turn-coat lawyer, +have a care of the little American David! + +LORD PATRIOT. Aye, indeed! America will prove a second Sampson to 'em; +they may put out his eyes for a while, but he'll pull their house down +about their ears for all that. Mr. Brazen seem'd surpris'd at the +thought of relinquishing America, and bawl'd out with the vociferation +of an old miser that had been robb'd--Relinquish America! relinquish +America! forbid it heavens! But let him and his masters take great care, +or America will save 'em the trouble, and relinquish Britain. + +COLONEL. Or I'm much mistaken, Brazen says, establish first your +superiority, and then talk of negotiating. + +LORD PATRIOT. That doctrine suits 'em best; just like a cowardly +pickpocket, or a bloody highwayman, knock a man down first, and then +tell him stand and deliver. + +COLONEL. A just comparison, and excellent simile, by my soul! But I'm +surpris'd he did not include the Clergy among the number of professions +unfit (as he said) to be politicians. + +BOLD IRISHMAN. Did you ever know a lawyer to be concerned with religion, +unless he got a fee by it? he'll take care and steer clear of that; if +it don't come in his way, he'll never break his neck over a church +bible, I warrant you--Mammon is his god--Judge Jeffereys is his +priest--Star-chamber doctrine is his creed--fire, flames and faggot, +blood, murder, halters and thund'ring cannon are the ceremonies of his +church--and lies, misrepresentations, deceit, hypocrisy and +dissimulation are the articles of his religion. + +LORD PATRIOT. You make him a monster, indeed. + +BOLD IRISHMAN. Not half so bad as he is, my Lord; he's following close +to the heels of that profound sage, that oracle, Mocklaw, his tutor: I +can compare the whole herd of them to nothing else but to the swine we +read of running headlong down the hill, Paramount their devil, Mocklaw +the evil spirit, and Brazen their driver. + +COLONEL. And thus they'll drive liberty from out the land; but when a +brave people, like the Americans, from their infancy us'd to liberty +(not as a gift, but who inherit it as a birth-right, but not as a mess +of pottage, to be bought by, or sold to, ev'ry hungry glutton of a +minister) find attempts made to reduce them to slavery, they generally +take some desperate successful measure for their deliverance. I should +not be at all surpris'd to hear of independency proclaim'd throughout +their land, of Britain's armies beat, their fleets burnt, sunk, or +otherwise destroy'd. The same principle which Mr. Brazen speaks of, that +inspires British soldiers to fight, namely the ferment of youthful +blood, the high spirit of the people, a love of glory, and a sense of +national honour, will inspire the Americans to withstand them; to which +I may add, liberty and property.--But what is national honour? Why, +national pride.--What is national glory? Why, national nonsense, when +put in competition with liberty and property. + +LORD PATRIOT. Of Britain I fear liberty has taken its farewell, the +aspiring wings of tyranny hath long hovered over, and the over-shadowing +influence of bribery hath eclips'd its rays and dark'ned its lustre; the +huge Paramount, that temporal deity, that golden calf, finds servile +wretches enough so base as to bow down, worship and adore his gilded +horns;--let 'em e'en if they will:--But as for me, tho' I should stand +alone, I would spurn the brute, were he forty-five[8] times greater than +he is; I'll administer, ere long, such an emetic to him, as shall make +the monster disgorge the forty millions yet unaccounted for, and never +shall it be said, that Patriot ever feared or truckled to him, or kept a +silent tongue when it should speak. + +BOLD IRISHMAN. There I'll shake hands with you, and my tongue shall echo +in their ears, make their arched ceiling speak, the treasury bench +crack, and the great chair of their great speaker tremble, and never +will I cease lashing them, while lashing is good, or hope remains; and +when the voice of poor liberty can no longer be heard in Britain or +Hibernia, let's give Caledonia a kick with our heels, and away with the +goddess to the American shore, crown her, and defy the grim king of +tyranny, at his peril, to set his foot there.--Here let him stay, and +wallow in sackcloth and ashes, like a beast as he is, and, +Nebuchadnezzar-like, eat grass and thistles. + + [_Exeunt._ + + _See Paramount, upon his awful throne, + Striving to make each freeman's purse his own! + While Lords and Commons most as one agree, + To grace his head with crown of tyranny. + They spurn the laws,--force constitution locks, + To seize each subject's coffer, chest and box; + Send justice packing, as tho' too pure unmix'd, + And hug the tyrant, as if by law he's fix'd._ + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[7] See Wedderburne's Speech. + +[8] Alluding to North-Briton, Number forty-five. + + + + +ACT III. + + +SCENE I. _In Boston._ + +SELECTMAN, CITIZEN. + +SELECTMAN. + +At length, it seems, the bloody flag is hung out, the ministry and +parliament, ever studious in mischief, and bent on our destruction, have +ordered troops and ships of war to shut our ports, and starve us into +submission. + +CITIZEN. And compel us to be slaves; I have heard so. It is a +fashionable way to requite us for our loyalty, for the present we made +them of Louisburg, for our protection at Duquesne, for the assistance we +gave them at Quebec, Martinico, Guadaloupe and the Havannah. Blast their +councils, spurn their ingratitude! Soul of Pepperel! whither art thou +fled? + +SELECTMAN. They seem to be guided by some secret demon; this stopping +our ports and depriving us of all trade is cruel, calculated to starve +and beggar thousands of families, more spiteful than politic, more to +their own disadvantage than ours: But we can resolve to do without +trade; it will be the means of banishing luxury, which has ting'd the +simplicity and spotless innocence of our once happy asylum. + +CITIZEN. We thank heaven, we have the necessaries of life in abundance, +even to an exuberant plenty; and how oft have our hospitable tables fed +numbers of those ungrateful monsters, who would now, if they could, +famish us? + +SELECTMAN. No doubt, as we abound in those temporal blessings, it has +tempted them to pick our pockets by violence, in hopes of treasures more +to their minds. + +CITIZEN. In that these thirsters after gold and human blood will be +disappointed. No Perus or Mexicos here they'll find; but the demon you +speak of, tho' he acts in secret, is notoriously known. Lord Paramount +is that demon, that bird of prey, that ministerial cormorant, that waits +to devour, and who first thought to disturb the repose of America; a +wretch, no friend to mankind, who acts thro' envy and avarice, like +Satan, who 'scap'd from hell to disturb the regions of paradise; after +ransacking Britain and Hibernia for gold, the growth of hell, to feed +his luxury, now waits to rifle the bowels of America. + +SELECTMAN. May he prove more unsuccessful than Satan; blind politics, +rank infatuation, madness detestable, the concomitants of arbitrary +power! They can never think to succeed; but should they conquer, they'll +find that he who overcometh by force and blood, hath overcome but half +his foe. Capt. Preston's massacre is too recent in our memories; and if +a few troops dar'd to commit such hellish unprovok'd barbarities, what +may we not expect from legions arm'd with vengeance, whose leaders +harbour principles repugnant to freedom, and possess'd with more than +diabolical notions? Surely our friends will oppose them with all the +power heaven has given them. + +CITIZEN. Nothing more certain; each citizen and each individual +inhabitant of America are bound by the ties of nature; the laws of God +and man justify such a procedure; passive obedience for passive slaves, +and non-resistance for servile wretches who know not, neither deserve, +the sweets of liberty. As for me and my house, thank God, such +detestable doctrine never did, nor ever shall, enter over my threshold. + +SELECTMAN. Would all America were so zealous as you.--The appointment of +a general Continental Congress was a judicious measure, and will prove +the salvation of this new world, where counsel mature, wisdom and +strength united; it will prove a barrier, a bulwark, against the +encroachments of arbitrary power. + +CITIZEN. I much approve of the choice of a congress; America is young, +she will be to it like a tender nursing mother, she will give it the +paps of virtue to suck, cherish it with the milk of liberty, and fatten +it on the cream of patriotism; she will train it up in its youth, and +teach it to shun the poison of British voluptuousness, and instruct it +to keep better company. Let us, my friend, support her all in our power, +and set on foot an immediate association; they will form an +intrenchment, too strong for ministerial tyranny to o'erleap. + +SELECTMAN. I am determined so to do, it may prevent the farther effusion +of blood. + + +SCENE II. + +_Enter a MINISTER._ + +MINISTER. + +My friends, I yet will hail you good morrow, tho' I know not how long we +may be indulg'd that liberty to each other; doleful tidings I have to +tell. + +SELECTMAN. With sorrow we have heard it, good morrow, sir. + +MINISTER. Wou'd to God it may prove false, and that it may vanish like +the dew of the morning. + +CITIZEN. Beyond a doubt, sir, it's too true. + +MINISTER. Perhaps, my friends, you have not heard all. + +SELECTMAN. We have heard too much, of the troops and ships coming over, +we suppose you mean; we have not heard more, if more there be. + +MINISTER. Then worse I have to tell, tidings which will raise the blood +of the patriot, and put your virtue to the proof, will kindle such an +ardent love of liberty in your breasts, as time will not be able to +exterminate-- + +CITIZEN. Pray, let us hear it, I'm all on fire. + +SELECTMAN. I'm impatient to know it, welcome or unwelcome. + +MINISTER. Such as it is, take it; your charter is annihilated; you are +all, all declared rebels; your estates are to be confiscated; your +patrimony to be given to those who never labour'd for it; popery to be +established in the room of the true catholic faith; the Old South, and +other houses of our God, converted perhaps into nunneries, inquisitions, +barracks and common jails, where you will perish with want and famine, +or suffer an ignominious death; your wives, children, dearest relations +and friends forever separated from you in this world, without the +prospect of receiving any comfort or consolation from them, or the least +hope of affording any to them. + +SELECTMAN. Perish the thought! + +CITIZEN. I've heard enough!--To arms! my dear friends, to arms! and +death or freedom be our motto! + +MINISTER. A noble resolution! Posterity will crown the urn of the +patriot who consecrates his talents to virtue and freedom; his name +shall not be forgot; his reputation shall bloom with unfading verdure, +while the name of the tyrant, like his vile body, shall moulder in the +dust. Put your trust in the Lord of hosts, he is your strong tower, he +is your helper and defense, he will guide and strengthen the arm of +flesh, and scatter your enemies like chaff. + +SELECTMAN. Let us not hesitate. + +CITIZEN. Not a single moment;--'tis like to prove a mortal strife, a +never-ending contest. + +MINISTER. Delays may be dangerous.--Go and awake your brethren that +sleep;--rouse them up from their lethargy and supineness, and join, +with confidence, temporal with spiritual weapons. Perhaps they be now +landing, and this moment, this very moment, may be the last of your +liberty. Prepare yourselves--be ready--stand fast--ye know not the day +nor the hour. May the Ruler of all send us liberty and life. Adieu! my +friends. + + [_Exeunt._ + + +SCENE III. _In a street in Boston._ + +_Frequent town-meetings and consultations amongst the + inhabitants;--LORD BOSTON arrives with the forces and ships;--lands + and fortifies Boston._ + +_WHIG and TORY._ + +WHIG. I have said and done all that man could say or do.--'Tis wrong, I +insist upon it, and time will show it, to suffer them to take possession +of Castle William and fortify Boston Neck. + +TORY. I cannot see, good sir, of what advantage it will be to +them;--they've only a mind, I suppose, to keep their soldiers from being +inactive, which may prejudice their health. + +WHIG. I wish it may prove so, I would very gladly confess your superior +knowledge in military manoeuvres; but till then, suffer me to tell you, +it's a stroke the most fatal to us,--no less, sir, but to cut off the +communication between the town and country, making prisoners of us all +by degrees, and give 'em an opportunity of making excursions, and in a +short time subdue us without resistance. + +TORY. I think your fears are groundless. + +WHIG. Sir, my reason is not to be trifled with. Do you not see or hear +ev'ry day of insults and provocations to the peaceable inhabitants? This +is only a prelude. Can men of spirit bear forever with such usage? I +know not what business they have here at all. + +TORY. I suppose they're come to protect us. + +WHIG. Damn such protectors, such cut-throat villains; protect us? from +what? from whom?-- + +TORY. Nay, sir, I know not their business;--let us yet bear with them +till we know the success of the petition from the Congress;--if +unfavourable, then it will be our time. + +WHIG. Then, I fear, it will be too late; all that time we lose, and they +gain ground; I have no notion of trusting to the success of petitions, +waiting twelve months for no answer at all. Our assemblies have +petitioned often, and as often in vain; 't would be a miracle in these +days to hear of an American petition being granted; their omnipotences, +their demi-godships (as they think themselves) no doubt think it too +great a favour done us to throw our petitions under their table, much +less vouchsafe to read them. + +TORY. You go too far;--the power of King, Lords and Commons is +uncontroulable. + +WHIG. With respect to tyrannising they would make it so, if they could, +I know, but there's a good deal to be said and done first; we have more +than half the bargain to make. + +TORY. Sure you would not go to dispute by arms with Great-Britain. + +WHIG. Sure I would not suffer you to pick my pocket, sir. + +TORY. If I did, the law is open for you-- + +WHIG. I have but a poor opinion of law, when the devil sits judge. + +TORY. What would you do then, sir, if I was to pick your pocket? + +WHIG. Break your head, sir-- + +TORY. Sure you don't mean as you say, sir-- + +WHIG. I surely do--try me, sir-- + +TORY. Excuse me, sir, I am not of your mind, I would avoid every thing +that has the appearance of rashness.--Great-Britain's power, sir-- + +WHIG. Great-Britain's power, sir, is too much magnified, 't will soon +grow weak, by endeavouring to make slaves of American freemen; we are +not Africans yet, neither bond-slaves.--You would avoid and discourage +every thing that has the appearance of patriotism, you mean.-- + +TORY. Who? me, sir? + +WHIG. Yes, you, sir;--you go slyly pimping, spying and sneaking about, +cajoling the ignorant, and insinuating bugbear notions of +Great-Britain's mighty power into weak people's ears, that we may tamely +give all up, and you be rewarded, perhaps, with the office of judge of +the admiralty, or continental hangman, for ought I know. + +TORY. Who? me, sir? + +WHIG. Aye, you, sir;--and let me tell you, sir, you've been long +suspected-- + +TORY. Of what, sir? + +WHIG. For a rank Tory, sir. + +TORY. What mean you, sir? + +WHIG. I repeat it again--suspected to be an enemy to your country. + +TORY. By whom, sir? Can you show me an instance? + +WHIG. From your present discourse I suspect you--and from your +connections and artful behaviour all suspect you. + +TORY. Can you give me a proof? + +WHIG. Not a point blank proof, as to my own knowledge; you're so much of +a Jesuit, you have put it out of my power;--but strong circumstances by +information, such as amount to a proof in the present case, sir, I can +furnish you with. + +TORY. Sir, you may be mistaken. + +WHIG. 'Tis not possible, my informant knows you too well. + +TORY. Who is your informant, sir? + +WHIG. A gentleman, sir; and if you'll give yourself the trouble to walk +with me, I'll soon produce him. + +TORY. Another time; I cannot stay now;--'tis dinner time. + +WHIG. That's the time to find him. + +TORY. I cannot stay now. + +WHIG. We'll call at your house then. + +TORY. I dine abroad, sir. + +WHIG. Be gone, you scoundrel! I'll watch your waters; 'tis time to clear +the land of such infernal vermin. + + [_Exeunt both different ways._ + + +SCENE IV. _In Boston, while the Regulars were flying from Lexington._ + +_LORD BOSTON surrounded by his guards and a few officers._ + +LORD BOSTON. If Colonel Smith succeeds in his embassy, and I think +there's no doubt of it, I shall have the pleasure this ev'ning, I +expect, of having my friends Hancock and Adams's good company; I'll make +each of them a present of a pair of handsome iron ruffles, and Major +Provost shall provide a suitable entertainment for them in his +apartment. + +OFFICER. Sure they'll not be so unpolite as to refuse your Excellency's +kind invitation. + +LORD BOSTON. Shou'd they, Colonel Smith and Major Pitcairn have my +orders to make use of all their rhetoric and the persuasive eloquence of +British thunder. + +_Enter a MESSENGER in haste._ + +MESSENGER. I bring your Excellency unwelcome tidings-- + +LORD BOSTON. For heaven's sake! from what quarter? + +MESSENGER. From Lexington plains. + +LORD BOSTON. 'Tis impossible! + +MESSENGER. Too true, sir. + +LORD BOSTON. Say--what is it? Speak what you know. + +MESSENGER. Colonel Smith is defeated, and fast retreating. + +LORD BOSTON. Good God!--What does he say? Mercy on me! + +MESSENGER. They're flying before the enemy. + +LORD BOSTON. Britons turn their backs before the Rebels!--The Rebels put +Britons to flight?--Said you not so? + +MESSENGER. They are routed, sir;--they are flying this instant;--the +Provincials are numerous, and hourly gaining strength;--they have nearly +surrounded our troops. A reinforcement, sir--a timely succour may save +the shatter'd remnant Speedily! speedily, sir! or they're irretrievably +lost! + +LORD BOSTON. Good God! What does he say? Can it be possible? + +MESSENGER. Lose no time, sir. + +LORD BOSTON. What can I do?--Oh dear! + +OFFICER. Draw off a detachment--form a brigade; prepare part of the +train; send for Lord Percy; let the drums beat to arms. + +LORD BOSTON. Aye, do, Captain; you know how, better than I. (_Exit +OFFICER._) Did the Rebels dare to fire on the king's troops? Had they +the courage? Guards, keep round me. + +MESSENGER. They're like lions; they have killed many of our bravest +officers and men; and if not checked instantly, will totally surround +them, and make the whole prisoners. This is no time to parley, sir. + +LORD BOSTON. No, indeed; what will become of me? + +_Enter EARL PERCY._ + +EARL PERCY. Your orders, sir. + +LORD BOSTON. Haste, my good Percy, immediately take command of the +brigade of reinforcement, and fly to the assistance of poor Smith!--Lose +no time, lest they be all cut off, and the Rebels improve their +advantage, and be upon us; and God knows what quarter they'll +give.--Haste, my noble Earl!--Speedily!--Speedily!--Where's my guard? + +EARL PERCY. I'm gone, sir. + + [_Exeunt PERCY and OFFICERS--drums beating to arms._ + +LORD BOSTON. What means this flutt'ring round my heart? this unusual +chilness? Is it fear? No, it cannot be, it must proceed from my great +anxiety, my perturbation of mind for the fate of my countrymen. A +drowsiness hangs o'er my eyelids;--fain would I repose myself a short +time;--but I must not;--I must wait;--I'll to the top of yon +eminence,--there I shall be safer. Here I cannot stay;--there I may +behold something favourable to calm this tumult in my breast.--But, +alas! I fear--Guards, attend me. + + [_Exeunt LORD BOSTON and GUARDS._ + + +SCENE V. _LORD BOSTON and GUARDS on a hill in Boston, that overlooks +Charlestown._ + +LORD BOSTON. Clouds of dust and smoke intercept my sight; I cannot see; +I hear the noise of cannon--Percy's cannon--Grant him success! + +OFFICER OF GUARD. Methinks, sir, I see British colours waving. + +LORD BOSTON. Some ray of hope.--Have they got so near?--Captain, keep a +good lookout; tell me every thing you see. My eyes are wondrous dim. + +OFFICER. The two brigades have join'd--Now Admiral Tombstone bellows his +lower tier on the Provincials. How does your Excellency? + +LORD BOSTON. Right;--more hope still.--I'm bravely to what I was. Which +way do our forces tend? + +OFFICER. I can distinguish nothing for a certainty now; such smoke and +dust! + +LORD BOSTON. God grant Percy courage! + +OFFICER. His ancestors were brave, sir. + +LORD BOSTON. Aye, that's no rule--no rule, Captain; so were mine.--A +heavy firing now.--The Rebels must be very numerous-- + +OFFICER. They're like caterpillars; as numerous as the locusts of Egypt. + +LORD BOSTON. Look out, Captain, God help you, look out. + +OFFICER. I do, sir. + +LORD BOSTON. What do you see now? Hark! what dreadful noise! + +ONE OF THE GUARD. [_Aside._] How damn'd afraid he is. + +ANOTHER OF THE GUARD. [_Aside._] He's one of your chimney corner +Generals--an old granny. + +OFFICER. If I mistake not, our troops are fast retreating; their fire +slackens; the noise increases. + +LORD BOSTON. Oh, Captain, don't say so! + +OFFICER. 'Tis true, sir, they're running--the enemy shout victory. + +LORD BOSTON. Upon your honour?--say-- + +OFFICER. Upon my honour, sir, they're flying t'wards Charlestown. +Percy's beat;--I'm afraid he's lost his artillery. + +LORD BOSTON. Then 'tis all over--the day is lost--what more can we do? + +OFFICER. We may, with the few troops left in Boston, yet afford them +some succour, and cover their retreat across the water; 'tis impossible +to do more. + +LORD BOSTON. Go instantly; I'll wait your return. Try your utmost to +prevent the Rebels from crossing. Success attend you, my dear Captain, +God prosper you! [_Exit OFFICER._] Alas! alas! my glory's gone; my +honour's stain'd. My dear guards, don't leave me, and you shall have +plenty of porter and sour-crout. + + +SCENE VI. _ROGER and DICK, two shepherds near Lexington, after the +defeat and flight of the Regulars._ + +ROGER. Whilst early looking, Dick, ere the sun was seen to tinge the +brow of the mountain, for my flock of sheep, nor dreaming of approaching +evil, suddenly mine eyes beheld from yon hill a cloud of dust arise at a +small distance; the intermediate space were thick set with laurels, +willows, evergreens, and bushes of various kinds, the growth of wild +nature, and which hid the danger from my eyes, thinking perchance my +flock had thither stray'd; I descended, and straight onward went; but, +Dick, judge you my thoughts at such a disappointment: Instead of my +innocent flock of sheep, I found myself almost encircled by a herd of +ravenous British wolves. + +DICK. Dangerous must have been your situation, Roger, whatever were your +thoughts. + +ROGER. I soon discovered my mistake; finding a hostile appearance, I +instantly turn'd myself about, and fled to alarm the shepherds. + +DICK. Did they pursue you? + +ROGER. They did; but having the start, and being acquainted with the +by-ways, I presently got clear of their voracious jaws. + +DICK. A lucky escape, indeed, Roger; and what route did they take after +that? + +ROGER. Onwards, t'wards Lexington, devouring geese, cattle and swine, +with fury and rage, which, no doubt, was increased by their +disappointment; and what may appear strange to you Dick (tho' no more +strange than true), is, they seem'd to be possessed of a kind of brutish +music, growling something like our favourite tune Yankee Doodle (perhaps +in ridicule), till it were almost threadbare, seeming vastly pleased +(monkey-like) with their mimickry, as tho' it provoked us much. + +DICK. Nature, Roger, has furnish'd some brute animals with voices, or, +more properly speaking, with organs of sound that nearly resemble the +human. I have heard of crocodiles weeping like a child, to decoy the +unwary traveller, who is no sooner within their reach, but they seize +and devour instantly. + +ROGER. Very true, Dick, I have read of the same; and these wolves, being +of the canine breed, and having the properties of blood-hounds, no doubt +are possess'd of a more acute sense of smelling, more reason, instinct, +sagacity, or what shall I call it? than all other brutes. It might have +been a piece of cunning of theirs, peculiar to them, to make themselves +pass for shepherds, and decoy our flocks; for, as you know, Dick, all +our shepherds both play and sing Yankee Doodle, our sheep and lambs are +as well acquainted with that tune as ourselves, and always make up to us +whene'er they hear the sound. + +DICK. Yes, Roger; and now you put me in mind of it I'll tell you of +something surprising in my turn: I have an old ram and an old ewe, that, +whenever they sing Yankee Doodle together, a skilful musician can +scarcely distinguish it from the bass and tenor of an organ. + +ROGER. Surprising indeed, Dick, nor do I in the least doubt it; and why +not, as well as Balaam's ass, speak? and I might add, many other asses, +now-a-days; and yet, how might that music be improved by a judicious +disposition of its various parts, by the addition of a proper number of +sheep and young lambs; 't would then likewise resemble the counter, +counter tenor, treble, and finest pipes of an organ, and might be truly +called nature's organ; methinks, Dick, I could forever sit and hear such +music, + + _Where all the parts in complication roll, + And with its charming music feast the soul!_ + +DICK. Delightful, indeed; I'll attempt it with what little skill I have +in music; we may then defy these wolves to imitate it, and thereby save +our flocks: I am well convinced, Roger, these wolves intended it rather +as a decoy than by way of ridicule, because they live by cunning and +deception; besides, they could never mean to ridicule a piece of music, +a tune, of which such brutes cannot be supposed to be judges, and, which +is allowed by the best masters of music to be a composition of the most +sublime kind, and would have done honour to a Handel or a Correllius. +Well, go on, Roger, I long to hear the whole. + +ROGER. When they came to Lexington, where a flock of our innocent sheep +and young lambs, as usual, were feeding and sporting on the plain, these +dogs of violence and rapine with haughty stride advanc'd, and berated +them in a new and unheard of language to us. + +DICK. I suppose learn'd at their own fam'd universities-- + +ROGER. No doubt; they had teachers among them--two old wolves their +leaders, not unlike in features to Smith and Pitcairn, as striving to +outvie each other in the very dregs of brutal eloquence, and more than +Billingsgate jargon, howl'd in their ears such a peal of new-fangled +execrations, and hell-invented oratory, till that day unheard in +New-England, as struck the whole flock with horror, and made them for a +while stand aghast, as tho' all the wolves in the forest had broke loose +upon them. + +DICK. Oh, shocking!--Roger, go on. + +ROGER. Not content with this, their murdering leaders, with premeditated +malice, keen appetite, and without provocation, gave the howl for the +onset, when instantly the whole herd, as if the devil had entered into +them, ran violently down the hill, and fixed their talons and jaws upon +them, and as quick as lightning eight innocent young lambs fell a +sacrifice to their fury, and victims to their rapacity; the very houses +of our God were no longer a sanctuary; many they tore to pieces, and +some at the very foot of the altar; others were dragged out as in a +wanton, gamesome mood. + +DICK. Barbarity inexpressible! more than savage cruelty! I hope you'll +make their master pay for 'em; there is a law of this province, Roger, +which obliges the owner of such dogs to pay for the mischief they do. + +ROGER. I know it, Dick; he shall pay, never fear, and that handsomely +too; he has paid part of it already. + +DICK. Who is their master, Roger? + +ROGER. One Lord Paramount; they call him a free-booter; a fellow who +pretends to be proprietor of all America, and says he has a deed for it, +and chief ranger of all the flocks, and pretends to have a patent for +it; has been a long time in the practice of killing and stealing sheep +in England and Ireland, and had like to have been hang'd for it there, +but was reprieved by the means of his friend _George_--I forgot his +other name--not Grenville--not George the Second--but another George-- + +DICK. It's no matter, he'll be hang'd yet; he has sent his dogs to a +wrong place, and lugg'd the wrong sow by the ear; he should have sent +them to Newfoundland, or Kamchatka, there's no sheep there--But never +mind, go on, Roger. + +ROGER. Nor was their voracious appetites satiated there; they rush'd +into the town of Concord, and proceeded to devour every thing that lay +in their way; and those brute devils, like Sampson's foxes (and as tho' +they were men), thrice attempted with firebrands to destroy our corn, +our town-house and habitations. + +DICK. Heavens! Could not all this provoke you? + +ROGER. It did; rage prompted us at length, and found us arms 'gainst +such hellish mischief to oppose. + +DICK. Oh, would I had been there! + +ROGER. Our numbers increasing, and arm'd with revenge, we in our turn +play'd the man; they, unus'd to wounds, with hideous yelling soon betook +themselves to a precipitate and confused flight, nor did we give o'er +the chase, till Phoebus grew drowsy, bade us desist, and wished us a +good night. + +DICK. Of some part of their hasty retreat I was a joyful spectator, I +saw their tongues lolling out of their mouths, and heard them pant like +hunted wolves indeed. + +ROGER. Did you not hear how their mirth was turn'd into mourning? their +fury into astonishment? how soon they quitted their howling Yankee +Doodle, and chang'd their notes to bellowing? how nimbly (yet against +their will) they betook themselves to dancing? And he was then the +bravest dog that beat time the swiftest, and footed Yankee Doodle the +nimblest. + +DICK. Well pleased, Roger, was I with the chase, and glorious sport it +was: I oft perceiv'd them tumbling o'er each other heels over head; nor +did one dare stay to help his brother--but, with bloody breech, made the +best of his way--nor ever stopped till they were got safe within their +lurking-holes-- + +ROGER. From whence they have not the courage to peep out, unless four to +one, except (like a skunk) forc'd by famine. + +DICK. May this be the fate of all those prowling sheep-stealers, it +behooves the shepherds to double the watch, to take uncommon precaution +and care of their tender flocks, more especially as this is like to be +an uncommon severe winter, by the appearance of wolves, so early in the +season--but, hark!--Roger, methinks I hear the sound of melody warbling +thro' the grove--Let's sit a while, and partake of it unseen. + +ROGER. With all my heart.--Most delightful harmony! This is the First of +May; our shepherds and nymphs are celebrating our glorious St. Tammany's +day; we'll hear the song out, and then join in the frolic, and chorus it +o'er and o'er again--This day shall be devoted to joy and festivity. + +SONG. + +[TUNE. _The hounds are all out, &c._] + + 1. + + Of _St. George_, or _St. Bute_, let the poet Laureat sing, + Of _Pharaoh_ or _Pluto_ of old, + While he rhymes forth their praise, in false, flattering lays, + I'll sing of St. Tamm'ny the bold, my brave boys. + + 2. + + Let Hibernia's sons boast, make Patrick their toast; + And Scots Andrew's fame spread abroad. + Potatoes and oats, and Welch leeks for Welch goats, + Was never St. Tammany's food, my brave boys. + + 3. + + In freedom's bright cause, Tamm'ny pled with applause, + And reason'd most justly from nature; + For this, this was his song, all, all the day long: + Liberty's the right of each creature, brave boys. + + 4. + + Whilst under an oak his great parliament sat, + His throne was the crotch of the tree; + With Solomon's look, without statutes or book, + He wisely sent forth his decree, my brave boys. + + 5. + + His subjects stood round, not the least noise or sound, + Whilst freedom blaz'd full in each face: + So plain were the laws, and each pleaded his cause; + That might _Bute_, _North_ and _Mansfield_ disgrace, my brave boys. + + 6. + + No duties, nor stamps, their blest liberty cramps, + A king, tho' no _tyrant_, was he; + He did oft'times declare, nay, sometimes wou'd swear, + The least of his subjects were free, my brave boys. + + 7. + + He, as king of the woods, of the rivers and floods, + Had a right all beasts to controul; + Yet, content with a few, to give nature her due: + So gen'rous was Tammany's soul! my brave boys. + + 8. + + In the morn he arose, and a-hunting he goes, + Bold Nimrod his second was he. + For his breakfast he'd take a large venison steak, + And despis'd your slip-slops and tea, my brave boys. + + 9. + + While all in a row, with squaw, dog and bow, + Vermilion adorning his face, + With feathery head he rang'd the woods wide: + _St. George_ sure had never such grace, my brave boys? + + 10. + + His jetty black hair, such as Buckskin saints wear, + Perfumed with bear's grease well smear'd, + Which illum'd the saint's face, and ran down apace, + Like the oil from Aaron's old beard, my brave boys. + + 11. + + The strong nervous deer, with amazing career, + In swiftness he'd fairly run down; + And, like Sampson, wou'd tear wolf, lion or bear. + Ne'er was such a saint as our own, my brave boys. + + 12. + + When he'd run down a stag, he behind him wou'd lag; + For, so noble a soul had he! + He'd stop, tho' he lost it, tradition reports it, + To give him fresh chance to get free, my brave boys. + + 13. + + With a mighty strong arm, and a masculine bow, + His arrow he drew to the head, + And as sure as he shot, it was ever his lot, + His prey it fell instantly dead, my brave boys. + + 14. + + His table he spread where the venison bled, + Be thankful, he used to say; + He'd laugh and he'd sing, tho' a saint and a king, + And sumptuously dine on his prey, my brave boys. + + 15. + + Then over the hills, o'er the mountains and rills + He'd caper, such was his delight; + And ne'er in his days, Indian history says, + Did lack a good supper at night, my brave boys. + + 16. + + On an old stump he sat, without cap or hat. + When supper was ready to eat, + _Snap_, his dog, he stood by, and cast a sheep's eye + For ven'son, the king of all meat, my brave boys. + + 17. + + Like Isaac of old, and both cast in one mould, + Tho' a wigwam was Tamm'ny's cottage, + He lov'd sav'ry meat, such that patriarchs eat, + Of ven'son and squirrel made pottage, brave boys. + + 18. + + When fourscore years old, as I've oft'times been told, + To doubt it, sure, would not be right, + With a pipe in his jaw, he'd buss his old squaw, + And get a young saint ev'ry night, my brave boys. + + 19. + + As old age came on, he grew blind, deaf and dumb, + Tho' his sport, 'twere hard to keep from it, + Quite tired of life, bid adieu to his wife, + And blazed like the tail of a comet, brave boys. + + 20. + + What country on earth, then, did ever give birth + To such a magnanimous saint? + His acts far excel all that history tell, + And language too feeble to paint, my brave boys. + + 21. + + Now, to finish my song, a full flowing bowl + I'll quaff, and sing all the long day, + And with punch and wine paint my cheeks for my saint, + And hail ev'ry First of sweet _May_, my brave boys. + +DICK. What a seraphic voice! how it enlivens my soul! Come away, away, +Roger, the moments are precious. + + [_Exeunt DICK and ROGER._ + + +SCENE VII. _In a chamber, near Boston, the morning after the battle of +Bunkers-Hill._ + +CLARISSA. How lovely is this new-born day!--The sun rises with uncommon +radiance after the most gloomy night my wearied eyes ever knew.--The voice +of slumber was not heard--the angel of sleep was fled--and the awful +whispers of solemnity and silence prevented my eye-lids from closing.--No +wonder--the terrors and ideas of yesterday--such a scene of war--of +tumult--hurry and hubbub--of horror and destruction--the direful noise of +conflict--the dismal hissing of iron shot in volleys flying--such bellowing +of mortars--such thund'ring of cannon--such roaring of musketry--and such +clashing of swords and bayonets--such cries of the wounded--and such +streams of blood--such a noise and crush of houses, steeples, and whole +streets of desolate Charlestown falling--pillars of fire, and the convulsed +vortex of fiery flakes, rolling in flaming wreaths in the air, in dreadful +combustion, seemed as tho' the elements and whole earth were envelop'd in +one general, eternal conflagration and total ruin, and intermingled with +black smoke, ascending, on the wings of mourning, up to Heaven, seemed +piteously to implore the Almighty interposition to put a stop to such +devastation, lest the whole earth should be unpeopled in the unnatural +conflict--Too, too much for female heroism to dwell upon--But what are all +those to the terrors that filled my affrighted imagination the last +night?--Dreams--fancies--evil bodings--shadows, phantoms and ghastly +visions continually hovering around my pillow, goading and harrowing my +soul with the most terrific appearances, not imaginary, but real--Am I +awake?--Where are the British murderers?--where's my husband?--my son?--my +brother?--Something more than human tells me all is not well: If they are +among the slain, 'tis impossible.--I--Oh! [_She cries._] + +_Enter a NEIGHBOUR_ [_a spectator of the battle_]. + +NEIGHBOUR. Madam, grieve not so much. + +CLARISSA. Am I wont to grieve without a cause? Wou'd to God I did;--mock +me not--What voice is that? methinks I know it--some angel sent to +comfort me?--welcome then. [_She turns about._] Oh, my Neighbour, is it +you? My friend, I have need of comfort. Hast thou any for me?--say--will +you not speak? Where's my husband?--my son?--my brother? Hast thou seen +them since the battle? Oh! bring me not unwelcome tidings! [_Cries._] + +NEIGHBOUR. [_Aside. What shall I say?_] Madam, I beheld them yesterday +from an eminence. + +CLARISSA. Upon that very eminence was I. What then?-- + +NEIGHBOUR. I saw the brave man Warren, your son and brother. + +CLARISSA. What? O ye gods!--Speak on friend--stop--what saw ye? + +NEIGHBOUR. In the midst of the tempest of war-- + +CLARISSA. Where are they now?--That I saw too--What is all this? + +NEIGHBOUR. Madam, hear me-- + +CLARISSA. Then say on--yet--Oh, his looks!--I fear! + +NEIGHBOUR. When General Putnam bid the vanguard open their front to +the-- + +CLARISSA. Oh, trifle not with me--dear Neighbour!--where shall I find +them?--say-- + +NEIGHBOUR. [_Aside. Heavens! must I tell her!_] Madam, be patient--right +and left, that all may see who hate us, we are prepar'd for them-- + +CLARISSA. What then?--Can you find 'em?-- + +NEIGHBOUR. I saw Warren and the other two heroes firm as Roxbury stand +the shock of the enemy's fiercest attacks, and twice put to flight their +boasted phalanx.-- + +CLARISSA. All that I saw, and more; say--wou'd they not come to me, were +they well?-- + +NEIGHBOUR. Madam, hear me-- + +CLARISSA. Oh! he will not speak. + +NEIGHBOUR. The enemy return'd to the charge, and stumbling o'er the dead +and wounded bodies of their friends, Warren received them with +indissoluble firmness, and notwithstanding their battalious aspect, in +the midst of the battle, tho' surrounded with foes on ev'ry side-- + +CLARISSA. Oh, my Neighbour!-- + +NEIGHBOUR. Madam--his nervous arm, like a giant refresh'd with wine, +hurl'd destruction where'er he came, breathing heroic ardour to +advent'rous deeds, and long time in even scale the battle hung, till at +last death turn'd pale and affrighted at the carnage--they ran-- + +CLARISSA. Who ran? + +NEIGHBOUR. The enemy, Madam, gave way-- + +CLARISSA. Warren never ran--yet--oh! I wou'd he had--I fear--[_Cries._] + +NEIGHBOUR. I say not so, Madam. + +CLARISSA. What say ye then? he was no coward, Neighbour-- + +NEIGHBOUR. Brave to the last. [_Aside. I forgot myself._] + +CLARISSA. What said you? O Heavens! brave to the last! those words--why +do you keep me thus?--cruel-- + +NEIGHBOUR. [_Aside. She will know it._] I say, Madam, by some mistaken +orders on our side, the enemy rallied and return'd to the charge with +fresh numbers, and your husband, son, and brother--Madam-- + +CLARISSA. Stop!--O ye powers!--What?--say no more--yet let me hear--keep +me not thus--tell me, I charge thee-- + +NEIGHBOUR. [_Aside. I can hold no longer, she must know it._] Forgive +me, Madam--I saw them fall--and Michael, the archangel, who vanquish'd +Satan, is not more immortal than they. [_Aside. Who can relate such woes +without a tear?_], + +CLARISSA. Oh! I've heard enough--too--too much [_Cries._] yet--if thou hast +worse to tell--say on--nought worse can be--O ye gods!--cruel--cruel-- +thrice cruel--cou'd ye not leave me one--[_She faints, and is caught by her +friend, and placed in a chair; he rings the bell, the family come in, and +endeavour to bring her to._] + +NEIGHBOUR. With surprising fortitude she heard the melancholy relation, +until I came to the last close--she then gave me a mournful look, lifted +up her eyes, and immediately sunk motionless into my arms. + +WOMAN. Poor soul!--no wonder--how I sympathize with her in her +distress--my tender bosom can scarcely bear the sight! A dreadful loss! +a most shocking scene it was, that brothers should with brothers war, +and in intestine fierce opposition meet, to seek the blood of each +other, like dogs for a bare bone, who so oft in generous friendship and +commerce join'd, in festivals of love and joy unanimous as the sons of +one kind and indulgent father, and separately would freely in a good +cause spend their blood and sacrifice their lives for him. + +NEIGHBOUR. A terrible black day it was, and ever will be remembered by +New-England, when that vile Briton (unworthy the name of a Briton), Lord +Boston (curse the name!), whose horrid murders stain American soil with +blood; perish his name! a fratricide! 'twas he who fir'd Charlestown, +and spread desolation, fire, flames and smoke in ev'ry corner--he was +the wretch, that waster of the world, that licens'd robber, that +blood-stain'd insulter of a free people, who bears the name of Lord +Boston, but from henceforth shall be called Cain, that pillag'd the +ruins, and dragg'd and murder'd the infant, the aged and infirm--(But +look, she recovers.) + +CLARISSA. O ye angels! ye cherubims and seraphims! waft their souls to +bliss, bathe their wounds with angelic balsam, and crown them with +immortality. A faithful, loving and beloved husband, a promising and +filial son, a tender and affectionate brother: Alas! what a loss!--Whom +have I now to comfort me?--What have I left, but the voice of +lamentation: [_She weeps._] Ill-fated bullets--these tears shall sustain +me--yes, ye dear friends! how gladly wou'd I follow you--but alas! I +must still endure tribulation and inquietudes, from which you are now +exempt; I cannot cease to weep, ye brave men, I will mourn your +fall--weep on--flow, mine eyes, and wash away their blood, till the +fountain of sorrow is dried up--but, oh! it never--never will--my +sympathetic soul shall dwell on your bosoms, and floods of tears shall +water your graves; and since all other comfort is deny'd me, deprive me +not of the only consolation left me of meditating on your virtues and +dear memories, who fell in defense of liberty and your country--ye brave +men--ye more than friends--ye martyrs to liberty!--This, this is all I +ask, till sorrow overwhelms me.--I breathe my last; and ye yourselves, +your own bright spirits, come and waft me to your peaceful abode, where +the voice of lamentation is not heard, neither shall we know any more +what it is to separate. + + _Eager the patriot meets his desperate foe + With full intent to give the fatal blow; + The cause he fights for animates him high, + His wife, his children and his liberty: + For these he conquers, or more bravely dies, + And yields himself a willing sacrifice._ + + [_Exeunt._ + + + + +ACT IV. + + +SCENE I. _Near Norfolk, in Virginia, on board a man-of-war, LORD +KIDNAPPER, in the state-room; a boat appears rowing towards the ship._ + +_SAILOR and BOATSWAIN._ + +SAILOR. Boatswain! + +BOATSWAIN. Holla. + +SAILOR. Damn my eyes, Mr. Boatswain, but here's a black flag of truce +coming on board. + +BOATSWAIN. Sure enough--where are they from? + +SAILOR. From hell, I suppose--for they're as black as so many devils. + +BOATSWAIN. Very well--no matter--they're recruits for the Kidnapper. + +SAILOR. We shall be all of a colour by and by--damn me-- + +BOATSWAIN. I'll go and inform his Lordship and his pair of doxies of it; +I suppose by this time they have trim'd their sails, and he's done +heaving the log. + + [_Exit BOATSWAIN._ + + +SCENE II. _Near the state-room._ + +BOATSWAIN. Where's his Lordship? + +SERVANT. He's in the state-room. + +BOATSWAIN. It's time for him to turn out; tell him I want to speak to +him. + +SERVANT. I dare not do it, Boatswain; it's more than my life is worth. + +BOATSWAIN. Damn your squeamish stomach, go directly, or I'll go myself. + +SERVANT. For God's sake! Boatswain-- + +BOATSWAIN. Damn your eyes, you pimping son of a bitch, go this instant, +or I'll stick my knife in your gammons. + +SERVANT. O Lord! Boatswain. [_SERVANT goes._] + +BOATSWAIN [_solus_]. What the devil--keep a pimp guard here, better +station the son of a bitch at the mast head, to keep a look out there, +lest Admiral Hopkins be upon us. + +_Enter KIDNAPPER._ + +KIDNAPPER. What's your will, Boatswain? + +BOATSWAIN. I beg your Lordship's pardon [_Aside. But you can soon fetch +up Leeway, and spread the water sail again._], please your honour, +here's a boat full of fine recruits along side for you. + +KIDNAPPER. Recruits, Boatswain? you mean soldiers from Augustine, I +imagine; what reg'mentals have they on? + +BOATSWAIN. Mourning, please your honour, and as black as our tarpawling. + +KIDNAPPER. Ha, ha, well well, take 'em on board, Boatswain, I'll be on +deck presently. + +BOATSWAIN. With submission to your honour, d' ye see, [_Scratching his +head._] I think we have gallows-looking dogs enough on board +already--the scrapings of Newgate, and the refuse of Tyburn, and when +the wind blows aft, damn 'em, they stink like polecats--but d' ye see, +as your honour pleases, with submission, if it's Lord Paramount's +orders, why it must be so, I suppose--but I've done my duty, d' ye see-- + +KIDNAPPER. Ha, ha, the work must be done, Boatswain, no matter by whom. + +BOATSWAIN. Why, aye, that's true, please your honour, any port in a +storm--if a man is to be hang'd, or have his throat cut, d' ye see--who +are so fit to do it as his own slaves? especially as they're to have +their freedoms for it; nobody can blame 'em, nor your honour neither, +for you get them for half price, or nothing at all, d' ye see me, and +that will help to lessen poor Owld England's taxes, and when you have +done with 'em here, and they get their brains knock'd out, d' ye see, +your honour can sell them in the West-Indies, and that will be something +in your honour's pocket, d' ye see--well, ev'ry man to his trade--but, +damn my impudence for all, I see your honour knows all about it--d' ye +see. + + [_Exit BOATSWAIN._ + + +SCENE III. _LORD KIDNAPPER returns to his state-room; the BOATSWAIN +comes on deck and pipes._ + +All hands ahoy--hand a rope, some of you Tories, forward there, for his +worship's reg'ment of black guards to come aboard. + +_Enter NEGROES._ + +BOATSWAIN. Your humble servant, Gentlemen, I suppose you want to see +Lord Kidnapper?--Clear the gangway there of them Tyburn tulips. Please +to walk aft, brother soldiers, that's the fittest birth for you, the +Kidnapper's in the state-room, he'll hoist his sheet-anchor presently, +he'll be up in a jiffin--as soon as he has made fast the end of his +small rope athwart Jenny Bluegarter and Kate Common's stern posts. + +FIRST SAILOR. Damn my eyes, but I suppose, messmate, we must bundle out +of our hammocks this cold weather, to make room for these black regulars +to stow in, tumble upon deck, and choose a soft berth among the snow? + +SECOND SAILOR. Blast 'em, if they come within a cable's length of my +hammock, I'll kick 'em to hell through one of the gun ports. + +BOATSWAIN. Come, come, brothers, don't be angry, I suppose we shall soon +be in a warmer latitude--the Kidnapper seems as fond of these black +regulars (as you call 'em, Jack) as he is of the brace of whores below; +but as they come in so damn'd slow, I'll put him in the humour of +sending part of the fleet this winter to the coast of Guinea, and beat +up for volunteers, there he'll get recruits enough for a hogshead or two +of New-England rum, and a few owld pipe-shanks, and save poor +Owld-England the trouble and expense of clothing them in the bargain. + +FIRST SAILOR. Aye, BOATSWAIN, any voyage, so it's a warm one--if it's to +hell itself--for I'm sure the devil must be better off than we, if we +are to stay here this winter. + +SECOND SAILOR. Any voyage, so it's to the southward, rather than stay +here at lazy anchor--no fire, nothing to eat or drink, but suck our +frosty fists like bears, unless we turn sheep-stealers again, and get +our brains knock'd out. Eigh, master cook, you're a gentleman +now--nothing to do--grown so proud, you won't speak to poor folks, I +suppose? + +COOK. The devil may cook for 'em for me--if I had any thing to cook--a +parcel of frozen half-starv'd dogs. I should never be able to keep 'em +out of the cook room, or their noses out of the slush-tub. + +BOATSWAIN. Damn your old smoky jaws, you're better off than any man +aboard, your trouble will be nothing,--for I suppose they'll be +disbursted in different messes among the Tories, and it's only putting +on the big pot, cockey. Ha, ha, ha. + +COOK. What signifies, Mr. Boatswain, the big pot or the little pot, if +there's nothing to cook? no fire, coal or wood to cook with? Blast my +eyes, Mr. Boatswain, if I disgrease myself so much, I have had the +honour, damn me (tho' I say it that shou'dn't say it) to be chief cook +of a seventy-four gun ship, on board of which was Lord Abel-Marl and +Admiral Poke-Cock. + +BOATSWAIN. Damn the liars--old singe-the-devil--you chief cook of a +seventy-four gun ship, eigh? you the devil, you're as proud as hell, for +all you look as old as Matheg'lum, hand a pair of silk stockings for our +cook here, d' ye see--lash a handspike athwart his arse, get a ladle +full of slush and a handful of brimstone for his hair, and step one of +you Tories there for the devil's barber to come and shave and dress him. +Ha, ha, ha. + +COOK. No, Mr. Boatswain, it's not pride--but look 'e (as I said before), +I'll not disgrease my station, I'll throw up my commission, before I'll +stand cook for a parcel of scape gallows, convict Tory dogs and run-away +Negroes. + +BOATSWAIN. What's that you say? Take care, old frosty face--What? do you +accuse his worship of turning kidnapper, and harbouring run-away +Negroes?--Softly, or you'll be taken up for a Whig, and get a handsome +coat of slush and hog's feathers for a christmas-box, cockey: Throw up +your commission, eigh? throw up the pot-halliards, you mean, old +piss-to-windward? Ha, ha, ha. + +COOK. I tell you, Mr. Boatswain--I-- + +BOATSWAIN. Come, come, give us a chaw of tobacco, Cook--blast your eyes, +don't take any pride in what I say--I'm only joking, d' ye see---- + +COOK. Well, but Mr. Boatswain---- + +BOATSWAIN. Come, avast, belay the lanyards of your jaws, and let's have +no more of it, d' ye see. [_BOATSWAIN pipes._] Make fast that boat along +side there. + + [_Exeunt ev'ry man to his station._ + + +SCENE IV. _LORD KIDNAPPER comes up on the quarter-deck._ + +KIDNAPPER. Well, my brave blacks, are you come to list? + +CUDJO. Eas, massa Lord, you preazee. + +KIDNAPPER. How many are there of you? + +CUDJO. Twenty-two, massa. + +KIDNAPPER. Very well, did you all run away from your masters? + +CUDJO. Eas, massa Lord, eb'ry one, me too. + +KIDNAPPER. That's clever; they have no right to make you slaves, I wish +all the Negroes wou'd do the same, I'll make 'em free--what part did you +come from? + +CUDJO. Disse brack man, disse one, disse one, disse one, disse one, come +from Hamton, disse one, disse one, disse one, come from Nawfok, me come +from Nawfok too. + +KIDNAPPER. Very well, what was your master's name? + +CUDJO. Me massa name Cunney Tomsee. + +KIDNAPPER. Colonel Thompson--eigh? + +CUDJO. Eas, massa, Cunney Tomsee. + +KIDNAPPER. Well then I'll make you a major--and what's your name? + +CUDJO. Me massa cawra me Cudjo. + +KIDNAPPER. Cudjo?--very good--was you ever christened, Cudjo? + +CUDJO. No massa, me no crissen. + +KIDNAPPER. Well, then I'll christen you--you shall be called Major Cudjo +Thompson, and if you behave well, I'll soon make you a greater man than +your master, and if I find the rest of you behave well, I'll make you +all officers, and after you have serv'd Lord Paramount a while, you +shall have money in your pockets, good clothes on your backs, and be as +free as them white men there. [_Pointing forward to a parcel of +Tories._] + +CUDJO. Tankee, massa, gaw bresse, massa Kidnap. + +SAILOR. [_Aside._] What a damn'd big mouth that Cudjo has--as large as +our main hatch-way---- + +COOK. [_Aside._] Aye, he's come to a wrong place to make a good use of +it--it might stand some little chance at a Lord Mayor's feast. + +KIDNAPPER. Now go forward, give 'em something to eat and drink there. +[_Aside._] Poor devils, they look half starved and naked like ourselves. + +COOK. [_Aside._] I don't know where the devil they'll get it: the sight +of that fellow's mouth is enough to breed a famine on board, if there +was not one already. + +SAILOR. Aye, he'd tumble plenty down his damn'd guts and swallow it, +like Jones swallow'd the whale. + +KIDNAPPER. To-morrow you shall have guns like them white men--Can you +shoot some of them rebels ashore, Major Cudjo? + +CUDJO. Eas, massa, me try. + +KIDNAPPER. Wou'd you shoot your old master, the Colonel, if you could +see him? + +CUDJO. Eas, massa, you terra me, me shoot him down dead. + +KIDNAPPER. That's a brave fellow--damn 'em--down with them all--shoot +all the damn'd rebels. + +SERJEANT. [_Aside._] Brave fellows indeed! + +KIDNAPPER. Serjeant! + +SERJEANT. I wait your Lordship's commands. + +KIDNAPPER. Serjeant, to-morrow begin to teach those black recruits the +exercise, and when they have learn'd sufficiently well to load and fire, +then incorporate them among the regulars and the other Whites on board; +we shall in a few days have some work for 'em, I expect--be as +expeditious as possible. [_Aside to him._] Set a guard over them every +night, and take their arms from them, for who knows but they may cut our +throats. + +SERJEANT. Very true, My Lord, I shall take particular care. + + [_Exit KIDNAPPER; SERJEANT and NEGROES walk forward._ + + +SCENE V. + +SERJEANT. Damn 'em, I'd rather see half their weight in beef. + +BOATSWAIN. Aye, curse their stomachs, or mutton either; then our Cook +wou'dn't be so damn'd lazy as he is, strutting about the deck like a +nobleman, receiving Paramount's pay for nothing. + +SERJEANT. Walk faster, damn your black heads. I suppose, Boatswain, when +this hell-cat reg'ment's complete, they'll be reviewed in Hyde park?---- + +BOATSWAIN. Aye, blast my eyes, and our Chaplain with his dirty black +gown, or our Cook, shall be their general, and review 'em, for he talks +of throwing up his pot-halliards commission, in hopes of it. + +SERJEANT. Ha, ha, ha.---- + +COOK. I'd see the devil have 'em first.---- + + [_Exeunt SERJEANT, &c._ + + +SCENE VI. _In the cabin._ + +_LORD KIDNAPPER, CAPTAIN SQUIRES, and CHAPLAIN._ + +KIDNAPPER. These blacks are no small acquisition, them and the Tories we +have on board will strengthen us vastly; the thoughts of emancipation +will make 'em brave, and the encouragement given them by my +proclamation, will greatly intimidate the rebels--internal enemies are +worse than open foes.---- + +CHAPLAIN. Very true, My Lord; David prayed that he might be preserved +from secret enemies. + +KIDNAPPER. Aye, so I've heard, but I look upon this to be a grand +manoeuvre in politics; this is making dog eat dog--thief catch +thief--the servant against his master--rebel against rebel--what think +you of that, parson? + +CHAPLAIN. A house divided thus against itself cannot stand, according to +scripture--My Lord, your observation is truly scriptural. + +KIDNAPPER. Scripture? poh, poh--I've nothing to do with scripture--I +mean politically, parson. + +CHAPLAIN. I know it very well; sure, My Lord, I understand you +perfectly. + +KIDNAPPER. Faith that's all I care for; if we can stand our ground this +winter, and burn all their towns that are accessible to our ships, and +Colonel Connolly succeeds in his plan, there's not the least doubt but +we shall have supplies from England very early in the spring, which I +have wrote for; then, in conjunction with Connolly, we shall be able to +make a descent where we please, and drive the rebels like hogs into a +pen. + +CHAPLAIN. And then gather them (as the scriptures say) as a hen +gathereth her chickens. + +KIDNAPPER. True, Mr. Scripture. + +CAPTAIN SQUIRES. Very good, but you must take care of the hawks. + +KIDNAPPER. What do you mean by the hawks, Captain? + +CAPTAIN SQUIRES. I mean the shirt-men, the rifle-men, My Lord. + +KIDNAPPER. Aye, damn 'em, hawks indeed; they are cursed dogs; a man is +never safe where they are, but I'll take care to be out of their reach, +let others take their chance, for I see they have no respect to +persons--I suppose they wou'd shoot at me, if I were within their reach. + +CHAPLAIN. Undoubtedly, they would be more fond of you than of a wild +turkey; a parcel of ignorant, unmannerly rascals, they pay no more +respect to a Lord than they wou'd to a devil. + +KIDNAPPER. The scoundrels are grown so damn'd impudent too, that one can +scarcely get a roasting pig now-a-days, but I'll be even with some of +'em by and by. + +CHAPLAIN. I hope we shall get something good for our Christmas +dinner--so much abstinence and involuntary mortification, cannot be good +for the soul--a war in the body corporal is of more dangerous +consequence than a civil war to the state, or heresy and schism to the +church. + +KIDNAPPER. Very true, parson--very true--now I like your doctrine--a +full belly is better than an empty sermon; preach that doctrine;--stick +to that text, and you'll not fail of making converts. + +CHAPLAIN. The wisest of men said, there is nothing better, than that a +man should enjoy that which he hath, namely, eat, drink, and be merry, +if he can. + +KIDNAPPER. You're very right--Solomon was no fool, they say--[_He +sings._] + + _Give me a charming lass, Twangdillo cries, + I know no pleasure, but love's sweet joys._ + +CHAPLAIN. [_Sings._] + + _Give me the bottle, says the red face sot, + For a whore I'd not give six-pence, not a groat._ + +Yet two is better than one, my Lord, for the scriptures further say, if +one be alone, how can there be heat? You seem to be converted to that +belief, for you have a brace of them, as the Boatswain says. + +KIDNAPPER. Ha, ha. It's a pity but you were a bishop, you have the +scriptures so pat--now I'll go and take a short nap, meanwhile; Captain, +if any thing new happens, pray order my servant to wake me. + +CAPTAIN SQUIRES. I will, my Lord. + + [_Exit KIDNAPPER._ + +CHAPLAIN. And you and I'll crack a bottle, Captain; (bring a bottle, +boy!) 'tis bad enough to perish by famine, but ten thousand times worse +to be chok'd for want of moisture. His Lordship and two more make three; +and you and I and the bottle make three more, and a three-fold cord is +not easily broken; so we're even with him. + +CAPTAIN SQUIRES. With all my heart.--Boy, bear a hand! + +TOM. Coming, sir. + +CHAPLAIN. Tom, Tom!--make haste, you scoundrel!--fetch two bottles. I +think we can manage it. + +_Enter TOM with the bottles._ + +CHAPLAIN. That's right, Tom.--Now bring the glasses, and shut the door +after you. + + [_Exit TOM._ + + +SCENE VII. _In Boston. A council of war after the battle of +Bunker's-Hill._ + +LORD BOSTON, ADMIRAL TOMBSTONE, ELBOW ROOM, MR. CAPER, GENERAL CLINTON, +EARL PERCY. + +LORD BOSTON. I fully expected, with the help of the last reinforcement +you brought me over, and the advice and assistance of three accomplish'd +and experienc'd Generals, I should have been able to have subdued the +rebels, and gain'd immortal laurels to myself--have return'd to Old +England like a Roman Consul, with a score or two of the rebel Generals, +Colonels and Majors, to have grac'd my triumph. + +ELBOW ROOM. You have been vastly disappointed, sir--you must not look +for laurels (unless wild ones) nor expect triumphs (unless sham ones) +from your own victories or conquests in America. + +LORD BOSTON. And yet, not more disappointed than you, sir--witness your +thrasonical speeches on your first landing, provided you had but elbow +room--and Mr. Caper too, to bring over Monsieur Rigadoon, the +dancing-master, and Signor Rosin, the fiddler forsooth; he thought, no +doubt, to have country danc'd the rebels out of their liberty with some +of his new cuts--with his soft music to have fascinated their wives and +daughters, and with some of 'em, no doubt, to have taken the tour of +America, with his reg'ment of fine, sleek, prancing horses, that have +been feeding this six months on codfish tails; he thought to have grown +fat with feasting, dancing, and drinking tea with the Ladies, instead of +being the skeleton he now appears to be--not to mention any thing of his +letter, wherein he laments Tom's absence; for[9] "had Tom been with him +(he says) he wou'd have been out of danger, and quite secure from the +enemy's shot." + +PERCY. I think, Gentlemen, we're even with you now; you have had your +mirth and frolic with us, for dancing "Yankee Doodle," as you called it, +from Lexington.--I find you have had a severer dance, a brave sweat at +Bunker's Hill, and have been obliged to pay the fiddler in the bargain. + +CLINTON. However, Gentlemen, I approve (at proper seasons) of a little +joking, yet I can by no means think (as we have had such bad success +with our crackers) that this is a proper time to throw your squibs. + +LORD BOSTON. I grant you, sir, this is a very improper time for joking; +for my part, I was only speaking as to my own thoughts, when Mr. Elbow +Room made remarks, which he might as well have spared. + +ELBOW ROOM. I took you, sir, as meaning a reflection upon us for our +late great loss, and particularly to myself, for expressing some +surprise on our first landing, that you should suffer a parcel of +ignorant peasants to drive you before 'em like sheep from Lexington; and +I must own I was a little chagrin'd at your seeming so unconcern'd at +such an affair as this (which had nearly prov'd our ruin), by your +innuendoes and ironical talk of accomplish'd Generals, Roman Consuls and +triumphs. + +LORD BOSTON. My mentioning accomplish'd Generals, surely, sir, was +rather a compliment to you. + +ELBOW ROOM. When irony pass current for compliments, and we take it so, +I shall have no objection to it. + +MR. CAPER. The affair of Lexington, My Lord Boston, at which you were so +much affrighted (if I am rightly inform'd), was because you then stood +on your own bottom, this of Bunker's Hill you seem secretly to rejoice +at, only because you have three accomplish'd and experienc'd Generals to +share the disgrace with you, besides the brave Admiral Tombstone--you +talk of dancing and fiddling, and yet you do neither, as I see. + +LORD BOSTON. And pray, sir, what did you do with the commission, the +post, the Duke of Grafton gave you, in lieu of your losses at Preston +election, and the expenses of your trial at the king's bench for a riot, +which had emptied your pockets?--Why you sold it--you sold it, sir--to +raise cash to gamble with.---- + +ADMIRAL TOMBSTONE. Damn it, don't let us kick up a dust among ourselves, +to be laugh'd at fore and aft--this is a hell of a council of +war--though I believe it will turn out one before we've done--a scolding +and quarrelling like a parcel of damn'd butter whores--I never heard two +whores yet scold and quarrel, but they got to fighting at last. + +CLINTON. Pray, Gentlemen, drop this discourse, consider the honour of +England is at stake, and our own safety depends upon this day's +consultation. + +LORD BOSTON. 'Tis not for argument's sake--but the dignity of my station +requires others should give up first. + +ELBOW ROOM. Sir, I have done, lest you should also accuse me of +obstructing the proceedings of the council of war. + +MR. CAPER. For the same reason I drop it now. + +LORD BOSTON. Well, Gentlemen, what are we met here for? + +ADMIRAL TOMBSTONE. Who the devil shou'd know, if you don't?--damn it, +didn't you send for us? + +LORD BOSTON. Our late great loss of men has tore up the foundation of +our plan, and render'd all further attempts impracticable--'t will be a +long time ere we can expect any more reinforcements--and if they should +arrive, I'm doubtful of their success. + +CLINTON. The provincials are vastly strong, and seem no novices in the +art of war; 'tis true we gain'd the hill at last, but of what advantage +is it to us?--none--the loss of 1400 as brave men as Britain can boast +of, is a melancholy consideration, and must make our most sanguinary +friends in England abate of their vigour. + +ELBOW ROOM. I never saw or read of any battle equal to it--never was +more martial courage display'd, and the provincials, to do the dogs +justice, fought like heroes, fought indeed more like devils than men; +such carnage and destruction not exceeded by Blenheim, Minden, Fontenoy, +Ramillies, Dettingen, the battle of the Boyne, and the late affair of +the Spaniards and Algerines--a mere cock-fight to it--no laurels there. + +MR. CAPER. No, nor triumphs neither--I regret in particular the number +of brave officers that fell that day, many of whom were of the first +families in England. + +ADMIRAL TOMBSTONE. Aye, a damn'd affair indeed--many powder'd +beaus--petit maitres--fops--fribbles--skip jacks--macaronies--jack +puddings--noblemen's bastards and whores' sons fell that day--and my +poor marines stood no more chance with 'em than a cat in hell without +claws. + +LORD BOSTON. It can't be help'd, Admiral; what is to be done next? + +ADMIRAL TOMBSTONE. Done?--why, what the devil have you done? nothing +yet, but eat Paramount's beef, and steal a few Yankee sheep--and that, +it seems, is now become a damn'd lousy, beggarly trade too, for you +hav'n't left yourselves a mouthful to eat. + +[_Aside._] + + "_Bold at the council board, + But cautious in the field, he shunn'd the sword._" + +LORD BOSTON. But what can we do, Admiral? + +ADMIRAL TOMBSTONE. Do?--why, suck your paws--that's all you're like to +get. [_Aside._] But avast, I must bowse taught there, or we shall get to +loggerheads soon, we're such damn'd fighting fellows. + +LORD BOSTON. We must act on the defensive this winter, till +reinforcements arrive. + +ADMIRAL TOMBSTONE. Defensive? aye, aye--if we can defend our bellies +from hunger, and prevent a mutiny and civil war among the small guts +there this winter, we shall make a glorious campaign of it, indeed--it +will read well in the American Chronicles. + +LORD BOSTON. I expect to be recalled this winter, when I shall lay the +case before Lord Paramount, and let him know your deplorable situation. + +ADMIRAL TOMBSTONE. Aye, do--and lay it behind him too; you've got the +weather-gage of us this tack, messmate; but I wish you a good voyage for +all--and don't forget to tell him, the poor worms are starving too, +having nothing to eat, but half starv'd dead soldiers and the ships' +bottoms. [_Aside._] A cunning old fox, he's gnaw'd his way handsomely +out of the Boston cage--but he'll never be a _wolf_, for all that. + +MR. CAPER. I shall desire to be recalled too--I've not been us'd to such +fare--and not the least diversion or entertainment of any sort going +forward here--I neither can nor will put up with it. + +ADMIRAL TOMBSTONE. I think we're all a parcel of damn'd boobies for +coming three thousand miles upon a wild-goose chase--to perish with +cold--starve with hunger--get our brains knock'd out, or be hang'd for +sheep-stealing and robbing hen-roosts. + +LORD BOSTON. I think, Admiral, you're always grumbling--never satisfied. + +ADMIRAL TOMBSTONE. Satisfied? I see no appearance of it--we have been +here these twelve hours, scolding upon empty stomachs--you may call it a +council of war (and so it is indeed, a war with the guts) or what you +will--but I call it a council of famine. + +LORD BOSTON. As it's so late, Gentlemen, we'll adjourn the council of +war till to-morrow at nine o'clock--I hope you'll all attend, and come +to a conclusion. + +ADMIRAL TOMBSTONE. And I hope you'll then conclude to favour us with one +of them fine turkeys you're keeping for your sea store [_Aside._] or +that fine, fat, black pig you or some of your guard stole out of the +poor Negroe's pen. As it's near Christmas, and you're going to make your +exit--you know the old custom among the sailors--pave your way +first--let us have one good dinner before we part, and leave us half a +dozen pipes of Mr. Hancock's wine to drink your health, and a good +voyage, and don't let us part with dry lips. + + _Such foolish councils, with no wisdom fraught, + Must end in wordy words, and come to nought; + Just like St. James's, where they bluster, scold, + They nothing know--yet they despise being told._ + + [_Exeunt._ + +FOOTNOTES: + +[9] See Burgoyne's letter. + + + + +ACT V. + + +SCENE I. _At Montreal._ + +_GENERAL PRESCOT and OFFICER._ + +GENERAL PRESCOT. + +So it seems indeed, one misfortune seldom comes alone.--The rebels, +after the taking of Ticonderoga and Chamblee, as I just now learn by a +Savage, marched immediately to besiege St. John's, and are now before +that place, closely investing it, and no doubt intend paying us a visit +soon. + +OFFICER. Say you so? then 'tis time to look about us. + +GEN. PRESCOT. They'll find us prepar'd, I'll warrant 'em, to give 'em +such a reception as they little dream of--a parcel of Yankee dogs. + +OFFICER. Their success, no doubt, has elated them, and given 'em hopes +of conquering all Canada soon, if that's their intent. + +GEN. PRESCOT. No doubt it is--but I'll check their career a little.---- + +_Enter SCOUTING OFFICER, with COLONEL ALLEN, and other prisoners._ + +SCOUTING OFFICER. Sir, I make bold to present you with a few +prisoners--they are a scouting detachment from the army besieging St. +John's. + +GEN. PRESCOT. Prisoners? Rebels, I suppose, and scarcely worth hanging. + +COL. ALLEN. Sir, you suppose wrong--you mean scarcely worth your while +to attempt. + +GEN. PRESCOT. Pray, who are you, sir? + +COL. ALLEN. A man, sir, and who had the honour, till now, to command +those brave men, whom you call rebels. + +GEN. PRESCOT. What is your name? If I may be so bold? + +COL. ALLEN. Allen. + +GEN. PRESCOT. Allen? + +COL. ALLEN. Yes, Allen. + +GEN. PRESCOT. Are you that Allen, that Colonel Allen (as they call him) +that dar'd to take Ticonderoga? + +COL. ALLEN. The same--the very man. + +GEN. PRESCOT. Then rebels you are, and as such I shall treat you, for +daring to oppose Lord Paramount's troops, and the laws of the land. + +COL. ALLEN. Prisoners we are, 'tis true--but we despise the name of a +rebel--With more propriety that name is applicable to your master--'tis +he who attempts to destroy the laws of the land, not us--we mean to +support them, and defend our property against Paramount's and +parliamentary tyranny. + +GEN. PRESCOT. To answer you were a poorness of spirit I despise; when +rebels dare accuse, power that replies, forgets to punish; I am not to +argue that point with you: And let me tell you, sir, whoever you are, it +now ill becomes you thus to talk--You're my prisoner--your life is in my +hands, and you shall suffer immediately--Guards! take them away. + +COL. ALLEN. Cruel insult!--pardon these brave men!--what they have done +has been by my orders--I am the only guilty person (if guilt there be), +let me alone suffer for them all. [_Opening his breast._] Here! take +your revenge--Why do you hesitate?--Will you not strike a breast that +ne'er will flinch from your pointed bayonet? + +GEN. PRESCOT. Provoke me not--Remember you're my prisoners. + +COL. ALLEN. Our souls are free!--Strike, cowards, strike!--I scorn to +beg my life. + +GEN. PRESCOT. Guards! away with them--I'll reserve you for a more +ignominious death--your fate is fix'd--away with them. + +COL. ALLEN. [_Going off._] Be glutted, ye thirsters after human +blood--Come, see me suffer--mark my eye, and scorn me, if my expiring +soul confesses fear--Come, see and be taught virtue, and to die as a +patriot for the wrongs of my country. + + [_Exeunt PRISONERS and GUARDS._ + + +SCENE II. _A Dungeon._ + +COL. ALLEN. What! ye infernal monsters! murder us in the dark?--What +place is this?--Who reigns king of these gloomy mansions?--You might +favour us at least with one spark of light--Ye cannot see to do your +business here. + +OFFICER. 'Tis our orders. + +COL. ALLEN. Ye dear, ye brave, wretched friends!--now would I die for ye +all--ye share a death I wou'd gladly excuse you from--'Tis not death I +fear--this is only bodily death--but to die noteless in the silent dark, +is to die scorn'd, and shame our suff'ring country--we fall undignify'd +by villains' hands--a sacrifice to Britain's outcast blood-hounds--This, +this shakes the soul!--Come then, ye murderers, since it must be so--do +your business speedily--Farewell, my friends! to die with you is now my +noblest claim since to die for you was a choice deny'd--What are ye +about?--Stand off, ye wretches! + +OFFICER. I am order'd to lay you in irons. [_They seize him._] You must +submit. + +COL. ALLEN. What, do you mean to torture us to death with chains, racks +and gibbets? rather despatch us immediately--Ye executioners, ye +inquisitors, does this cruelty proceed from the lenity I shewed to the +prisoners I took?--Did it offend you that I treated them with +friendship, generosity, honour and humanity?--If it did, our suff'rings +will redound more to our honour, and our fall be the more glorious--But +remember, this fall will prove your own one day--Wretches! I fear you +not, do your worst; and while I here lay suff'ring and chain'd on my +back to the damp floor, I'll yet pray for your conversion. + +OFFICER. Excuse us, we have only obey'd our order. + +COL. ALLEN. Then I forgive you; but pray execute them. + + _Oh! my lost friends! 'tis liberty, not breath, + Gives the brave life. Shun slav'ry more than death. + He who spurns fear, and dares disdain to be, + Mocks chains and wrongs--and is forever free; + While the base coward, never safe, tho' low, + Creeps but to suff'rings, and lives on for woe!_ + + [_Exeunt GUARDS._ + + +SCENE III. _In the Camp at Cambridge._ + +_GENERAL WASHINGTON, GENERAL LEE, and GENERAL PUTNAM._ + +GENERAL WASHINGTON. + +Our accounts from the Northward, so far, are very favourable; +Ticonderoga, Chamblee, St. John's and Montreal our troops are already in +possession of--and Colonel Arnold, having penetrated Canada, after +suff'ring much thro' cold, fatigue and want of provisions, is now before +Quebec, and General Montgomery, I understand, is in full march to join +him; see these letters. + + [_They read._ + +GEN. LEE. The brave, the intrepid Arnold, with his handful of fearless +troops, have dar'd beyond the strength of mortals--Their courage smil'd +at doubts, and resolutely march'd on, clamb'ring (to all but themselves) +insurmountable precipices, whose tops, covered with ice and snow, lay +hid in the clouds, and dragging baggage, provisions, ammunition and +artillery along with them, by main strength, in the dead of winter, over +such stupendous and amazing heights, seems almost unparallelled in +history!--'Tis true, Hannibal's march over the Alps comes the nearest to +it--it was a surprising undertaking, but when compar'd to this, appears +but as a party of pleasure, an agreeable walk, a sabbath day's journey. + +GEN. PUTNAM. Posterity will stand amazed, and be astonish'd at the +heroes of this new world, that the spirit of patriotism should blaze to +such a height, and eclipse all others, should outbrave fatigue, danger, +pain, peril, famine and even death itself, to serve their country; that +they should march, at this inclement season, thro' long and dreary +deserts, thro' the remotest wilds, covered with swamps and standing +lakes, beset with trees, bushes and briars, impervious to the cheering +rays of the sun, where are no traces or vestiges of human footsteps, +wild, untrodden paths, that strike terror into the fiercest of the brute +creation. + + _No bird of song to cheer the gloomy desert! + No animals of gentle love's enliven!_ + +GEN. LEE. Let Britons do the like--no--they dare not attempt it--let 'em +call forth the Hanoverian, the Hessian, the hardy Ruffian, or, if they +will, the wild Cossacks and Kalmucks of Tartary, and they would tremble +at the thought! And who but Americans dare undertake it? The wond'ring +moon and stars stood aloof, and turn'd pale at the sight! + +GEN. WASHINGTON. I rejoice to hear the Canadians received them kindly, +after their fatigue furnish'd them with the necessaries of life, and +otherways treated them very humanely--And the savages, whose hair stood +on end, and look'd and listen'd with horror and astonishment at the +relation of the fatigues and perils they underwent, commiserated them, +and afforded all the succour in their power. + +GEN. LEE. The friendship of the Canadians and Savages, or even their +neutrality alone, are favourable circumstances that cannot fail to +hearten our men; and the junction of General Montgomery will inspire 'em +with fresh ardour. + +GEN. PUTNAM. Heavens prosper 'em! + +_Enter OFFICER and EXPRESS._ + +OFFICER. Sir, here's an Express. + +EXPRESS. I have letters to your Excellency. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. From whence? + +EXPRESS. From Canada, sir. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. From the army? + +EXPRESS. From the headquarters, sir. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. I hope matters go well there.--Had General Montgomery +join'd Colonel Arnold when you left it? + +EXPRESS. He had, sir--these letters are from both those gentlemen. + + [_Gives him the letters._ + +GEN. WASHINGTON. Very well. You may now withdraw and refresh yourself, +unless you've further to say--I'll dispatch you shortly. + +EXPRESS. Nothing further, sir. + + [_Exeunt OFFICER and EXPRESS._ + +GEN. WASHINGTON. [_Opens and reads the letter to GENERALS LEE and +PUTNAM._] I am well pleased with their contents--all but the behaviour +of the haughty Carleton--to fire upon a flag of truce, hitherto +unprecedented, even amongst Savages or Algerines--his cruelty to the +prisoners is cowardly, and personal ill treatment of General Montgomery +is unbecoming a General--a soldier--and beneath a Gentleman--and leaves +an indelible mark of brutality--I hope General Montgomery, however, will +not follow his example. + +GEN. LEE. I hope so too, sir--if it can be avoided; it's a disgrace to +the soldier, and a scandal to the Gentleman--so long as I've been a +soldier, my experience has not furnish'd me with a like instance. + +GEN. PUTNAM. I see no reason why he shou'dn't be paid in his own +coin.--If a man bruises my heel, I'll break his head--I cannot see the +reason or propriety of bearing with their insults--does he not know it's +in our power to retaliate fourfold? + +GEN. LEE. Let's be good natur'd, General--let us see a little more of it +first---- + +GEN. PUTNAM. I think we have seen enough of it already for this +twelve-months past. Methinks the behaviour of Lord Boston, the ill +treatment of poor Allen, to be thrown into a loathsome dungeon like a +murderer, be loaded with irons, and transported like a convict, would +sufficiently rouse us to a just retaliation--that imperious red coat, +Carleton, should be taught good manners--I hope to see him ere long in +our College at Cambridge---- + +GEN. LEE. I doubt; he'll be too cunning, and play truant--he has no +notion of learning American manners; ev'ry dog must have his day (as the +saying is); it may be our time by and by--the event of war is +uncertain---- + +GEN. PUTNAM. Very true, sir; but don't let us be laugh'd at forever. + +_Enter an OFFICER in haste._ + +OFFICER. Sir, a messenger this moment from Quebec waits to be admitted. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. Let him enter. + + [_Exit OFFICER._ + +_Enter MESSENGER._ + +GEN. WASHINGTON. What news bring you? + +MESSENGER. I am sorry, sir, to be the bearer of an unpleasing tale---- + +GEN. WASHINGTON. Bad news have you?--have you letters? + +MESSENGER. None, sir--I came off at a moment's warning--my message is +verbal. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. Then relate what you know. + +MESSENGER. After the arrival and junction of General Montgomery's troops +with Colonel Arnold's, Carleton was summoned to surrender; he disdaining +any answer, fir'd on the flag of truce---- + +GEN. WASHINGTON. That we have heard--go on. + +MESSENGER. The General finding no breach could be effected in any +reasonable time, their walls being vastly strong, and his cannon rather +light, determined to attempt it by storm--The enemy were apprized of +it--however, he passed the first barrier, and was attempting the second, +where he was unfortunately killed, with several other brave officers---- + +GEN. WASHINGTON. Is General Montgomery killed? + +MESSENGER. He is certainly, sir. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. I am sorry for it--a brave man--I could wish him a +better fate!---- + +GEN. LEE. I lament the loss of him--a resolute soldier---- + +GEN. PUTNAM. Pity such bravery should prove unsuccessful, such merit +unrewarded;--but the irreversible decree of Providence!--who can +gainsay?--we may lament the loss of a friend, but 'tis irreligious to +murmur at pre-ordination. What happ'ned afterwards? + +MESSENGER. The officer next in command, finding their attacks at that +time unsuccessful, retired in good order. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. What became of Colonel Arnold? + +MESSENGER. Colonel Arnold, at the head of about three hundred and fifty +brave troops, and Captain Lamb's company of artillery, having in the +mean time passed through St. Rocques, attacked a battery, and carried +it, tho' well defended, with the loss of some men-- + +GEN. PUTNAM. I hope they proved more successful. + +GEN. LEE. Aye, let us hear. + +MESSENGER. The Colonel about this time received a wound in his leg, and +was obliged to crawl as well as he cou'd to the hospital, thro' the fire +of the enemy, and within fifty yards of the walls, but, thro' +Providence, escap'd any further damage.---- + +GEN. PUTNAM. Aye, providential indeed! + +GEN. WASHINGTON. Is he dangerously wounded? + +MESSENGER. I am told not, sir. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. I am glad of it.--What follow'd? + +MESSENGER. His brave troops pushed on to the second barrier, and took +possession of it. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. Very good--proceed. + +MESSENGER. A party of the enemy then sallying out from the palace-gate, +attacked them in the rear, whom they fought with incredible bravery for +three hours, and deeds of eternal fame were done; but being surrounded +on all sides, and overpowered by numbers, were at last obliged to submit +themselves as prisoners of war. + +GEN. PUTNAM. Heav'ns! could any thing prove more unlucky? such brave +fellows deserve better treatment than they'll get (I'm afraid) from the +inhuman Carleton. + +GEN. LEE. Such is the fortune of war, and the vicissitudes attending a +military life; to-day conquerors, to-morrow prisoners. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. He dares not treat them ill--only as prisoners. Did you +learn how those brave fellows were treated? + +MESSENGER. It was currently reported in the camp they were treated very +humanely. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. A change for the better. + +GEN. PUTNAM. Produc'd by fear, no doubt from General Montgomery's +letter--but no matter from what cause. + +GEN. LEE. How far did the remainder of the army retire? + +MESSENGER. About two miles from the city, where they are posted very +advantageously, continuing the blockade, and waiting for reinforcements. + +GEN. LEE. Did the enemy shew any peculiar marks of distinction to the +corpse of General Montgomery? + +MESSENGER. He was interred in Quebec, with ev'ry possible mark of +distinction. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. What day did the affair happen on? + +MESSENGER. On the last day of the year. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. A remarkable day! When was the General interred? + +MESSENGER. The second of January. + +GEN. LEE. What number of men in the whole attack was killed? did you +learn? + +MESSENGER. About sixty killed and wounded. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. Have you any thing further to communicate? + +MESSENGER. Nothing, sir, but to inform you they are all in good spirits, +and desire reinforcements, and heavy artillery may be sent them as soon +as possible. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. That be our business--with all despatch. You may for +the present withdraw. Serjeant! + +_Enter SERJEANT._ + +SERJEANT. I wait your order, sir. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. See that the Messenger and his horse want for nothing. + +SERJEANT. I shall, sir. + + [_Exeunt SERJEANT and MESSENGER._ + + +SCENE IV. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. I'll despatch an Express to the Congress. This repulse, +if I mistake not (or victory, as Carleton may call it), will stand 'em +but in little stead--'t will be only a temporary reprieve--we'll +reinforce our friends, let the consequence be what it may--Quebec must +fall, and the lofty strong walls and brazen gates (the shield of +cowards) must tumble by an artificial earthquake; should they continue +in their obstinacy, we'll arm our friends with missive thunders in their +hands, and stream death on them swifter than the winds. + +GEN. LEE. I lament the loss of the valiant Montgomery and his brave +officers and soldiers (at this time more especially) 'tis the fortune of +war, 'tis unavoidable; yet, I doubt not, out of their ashes will arise +new heroes. + +GEN. PUTNAM. Who can die a more glorious, a more honourable death than +in their country's cause?--let it redouble our ardour, and kindle a +noble emulation in our breasts--let each American be determined to +conquer or die in a righteous cause. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. I have drawn my sword, and never will I sheathe it, +till America is free, or I'm no more. + +GEN. LEE. Peace is despaired of, and who can think of submission? The +last petition from the Congress, like the former, has been disregarded; +they prayed but for liberty, peace and safety, and their omnipotent +authoritative supreme-ships will grant them neither: War, then, war open +and understood, must be resolved on; this, this will humble their pride, +will bring their tyrant noses to the ground, teach 'em humility, and +force them to hearken to reason when 'tis too late. My noble General, I +join you. [_Drawing his sword._] I'll away with the scabbard, and +sheathe my sword in the bosom of tyranny. + +GEN. PUTNAM. Have you not read the speech, where frowning revenge and +sounds of awful dread for disgrace at Lexington and loss at Bunker's +Hill echo forth? Not smiling peace, or pity, tame his sullen soul; but, +Pharaoh-like, on the wings of tyranny he rides and forfeits happiness to +feast revenge, till the waters of the red sea of blood deluge the +tyrant, with his mixed host of vile cut-throats, murderers, and bloody +butchers. + +GEN. WASHINGTON. Yet, finding they cannot conquer us, gladly would they +make it up by a voluntary free-will offering of a million of money in +bribes, rather than be obliged to relish the thoughts of sacrificing +their cursed pride and false honour, they sending over to amuse us (to +put us off our guard) a score or two of commissioners with sham +negotiations in great state, to endeavour to effect, by bribery, +deception and chicanery, what they cannot accomplish by force. Perish +such wretches!--detested be their schemes!--Perish such monsters!--a +reproach to human understanding--their vaunted boasts and threats will +vanish like smoke, and be no more than like snow falling on the moist +ground, melt in silence, and waste away--Blasted, forever blasted be the +hand of the villainous traitor that receives their gold upon such +terms--may he become leprous, like Naaman, the Syrian, yea, rather like +Gehazi, the servant of Elisha, that it may stick to him for ever. + +GEN. PUTNAM. I join you both, and swear by all the heroes of +New-England, that this arm, tho' fourscore and four [_Drawing his +sword._], still nervous and strong, shall wield this sword to the last +in the support of liberty and my country, revenge the insult offer'd to +the immortal Montgomery, and brutal treatment of the brave Allen. + + _O Liberty! thou sunshine of the heart! + Thou smile of nature, and thou soul of art! + Without thy aid no human hope cou'd grow, + And all we cou'd enjoy were turn'd to woe._ + + [_Exeunt._ + + + + +THE EPILOGUE. + +SPOKEN BY MR. FREEMAN. + + + Since tyrants reign, and lust and lux'ry rule; + Since kings turn Neroes--statesmen play the fool; + Since parli'ment in cursed league combine, + To sport with rights that's sacred and divine; + Destroying towns with direful conflagration, + And murder subjects without provocation! + These are but part of evils we could name, + Not to their glory, but eternal shame. + Petitions--waste paper--great Pharaoh cries, + Nor care a rush for your remonstrances. + Each Jacobite, and ev'ry pimping Tory, + Waits for your wealth, to raise his future glory: + Or pensions sure, must ev'ry rascal have, + Who strove his might, to make FREEMAN a slave. + Since this the case, to whom for succour cry? + To God, our swords, and sons of liberty! + Cast off the idol god!--kings are but vain! + Let justice rule, and independence reign. + Are ye not men? Pray who made men, but God? + Yet men make kings--to tremble at their nod! + What nonsense this--let's wrong with right oppose, + Since nought will do, but sound, impartial blows. + Let's act in earnest, not with vain pretence, } + Adopt the language of sound COMMON SENSE, } + And with one voice proclaim INDEPENDENCE. } + Convince your foes you will defend your right, + That blows and knocks is all they will get by 't. + Let tyrants see that you are well prepar'd, + By proclamations, sword, nor speeches scar'd; + That liberty freeborn breathe in each soul! + One god-like union animate the whole! + +_End of the First Campaign._ + + + + +TRANSCRIBERS' NOTES + +General: Inconsistent hyphenation of eye(-)lids preserved as in original +General: Inconsistent punctuation of Bunker(')s-Hill preserved as in +original +General: Variable punctuation after Roman numerals (e.g. iv.) preserved as +in original +Page 290: , added after JUDAS +Page 293: "confident" as in original +Page 305: "They has often been told" as in original +Page 314: . added after "time to find him + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The Fall of British Tyranny, by John Leacock + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FALL OF BRITISH TYRANNY *** + +***** This file should be named 29226.txt or 29226.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/9/2/2/29226/ + +Produced by David Starner, Brownfox and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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