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diff --git a/29290.txt b/29290.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..35fab5e --- /dev/null +++ b/29290.txt @@ -0,0 +1,876 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Now We Are Three, by Joe L. Hensley + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Now We Are Three + +Author: Joe L. Hensley + +Release Date: July 2, 2009 [EBook #29290] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NOW WE ARE THREE *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + _Where are we going? What will the world be like in the + days--perhaps not too distant--when we have tested and tested the + bombs to the finite degree? Joe L. Hensley, attorney in Madison, + Indiana, and increasingly well known in SF, returns with this + challenging story of that Tomorrow._ + + + now + we + are + three + + _by Joe L. Hensley_ + + + It didn't matter that he had quit. He was still one of the + guilty. He had seen it in her eyes and in the eyes of others. + + +John Rush smoothed the covers over his wife, tucking them in where her +restless moving had pulled them away from the mattress. The twins moved +beside him, their smooth hands following his in the task, their blind +eyes intent on nothingness. + +"Thank you," he said softly to them, knowing they could not hear him. +But it made him feel better to talk. + +His wife, Mary, was quiet. Her breathing was smooth, easy--almost as if +she were sleeping. + +_The long sleep._ + +He touched her forehead, but it was cool. The doctor had said it was a +miracle she had lived this long. He stood away from the bed for a moment +watching before he went on out to the porch. The twins moved back into +what had become a normal position for them in the past months: One on +each side of the bed, their thin hands holding Mary's tightly, the milky +blind eyes surveying something that could not be seen by his eyes. +Sometimes they would stand like this for hours. + +Outside the evening was cool, the light not quite gone. He sat in the +rocking chair and waited for the doctor who had promised to come--and +yet might not come. The bitterness came back, the self-hate. He +remembered a young man and promises made, but not kept; a girl who had +believed and never lost faith even when he had retreated back to the +land away from everything. Long sullen silences, self-pity, brooding +over the news stories that got worse and worse. And the children--one +born dead--two born deaf and dumb and blind. + +_Worse than dead._ + +You helped, he accused himself. You worked for those who set off the +bombs and tested and tested while the cycle went up and up beyond human +tolerance--not the death level, but the level where nothing was sure +again, the level that made cancer a thing of epidemic proportions, +replacing statistically all of the insane multitude of things that man +could do to kill himself. Even the good things that the atom had brought +were destroyed in the panic that ensued. No matter that you quit. You +are still one of the guilty. You have seen it hidden in her eyes and you +have seen it in the milky eyes of the twins. + +_Worse than dead._ + +Dusk became night and finally the doctor came. It had begun to lightning +and a few large drops of rain stroked Rush's cheek. Not a good year for +the farming he had retreated to. Not a good year for anything. He stood +to greet the doctor and the other man with him. + +"Good evening, doctor," he said. + +"Mr. Rush--" the doctor shook hands gingerly, "I hope you don't mind me +bringing someone along--this is Mr. North. He is with the County +Juvenile Office." The young doctor smiled. "How is the patient this +evening?" + +"She is the same," John Rush said to the doctor. He turned to the other +man, keeping his face emotionless, hands at his side. He had expected +this for some time. "I think you will be wanting to look at the twins. +They are by her bed." He opened the door and motioned them in and then +followed. + +He heard the Juvenile man catch his breath a little. The twins were +playing again. They had left their vigil at the bedside and they were +moving swiftly around the small living room, their hands and arms and +legs moving in some synchronized game that had no meaning--their +movements quick and sure--their faces showing some intensity, some +purpose. They moved with grace, avoiding obstructions. + +"I thought these children were blind," Mr. North said. + +John smiled a little. "It is unnerving. I have seen them play like this +before--though they have not done so for a long time--since my wife has +been ill." He lowered his head. "They are blind, deaf, and dumb." + +"How old are they?" + +"Twelve." + +"They do not seem to be more than eight--nine at the most." + +"They have been well fed," John said softly. + +"How about schooling, Mr. Rush? The teaching of handicapped children is +not something that can be done by a person untrained in the field." + +"I have three degrees, Mr. North. When my wife became ill and I began to +care for them I taught them to read braille. They picked it up very +quickly, though they showed little continued interest in it. I read a +number of books in the field of teaching handicapped children ..." He +let it trail off. + +"Your degrees were in physics, were they not, Mr. Rush?" Now the touch +of malice came. + +"That is correct." He sat down in one of the wooden chairs. "I quit +working long before the witch hunts came. I was never indicted." + +"Nevertheless your degrees are no longer bona fide. All such degrees +have been stricken from the records." He looked down and John saw that +his eyes no longer hid the hate. "If your wife dies I doubt that any +court would allow you to keep custody of these children." + +A year before--even six months and John would not have protested. Now he +had to make the effort. "They are my children--such as they are--and I +will fight any attempt to take them from me." + +The Juvenile Man smiled without humor. "My wife and I had a child last +year, Mr. Rush. Or perhaps I should say that a child was born to us. I +am glad that child was born dead--I think my wife is even glad. Perhaps +we should try again--I understand that you and your kind have left us an +even chance on a normal birth." He paused for a moment. "I shall file a +petition with the circuit court asking that the Juvenile Office be +appointed guardians of your children, Mr. Rush. I hope you do not choose +to resist that petition--feeling would run pretty high against an +ex-physicist who tried to prove he _deserved_ children." He turned away +stiffly and went out the front door. In a little while Rush heard the +car door slam decisively. + +The doctor was replacing things in the black bag. "I'm sorry, John. He +said he was going to come out here anyway so I invited him to come with +me." + +John nodded. "My wife?" + +"There is no change." + +"And no chance." + +"There never has been one. The brain tumor is too large and too +inaccessible for treatment or surgery. It will be soon now. I am +surprised that she has lasted this long. I am prolonging a sure +process." He turned away. "That's all I can do." + +"Thank you for coming, doctor--I appreciate that." Rush smiled bitterly, +unable to stop himself. "But aren't you afraid that your other patients +will find out?" + +The doctor stopped, his face paling slightly. "I took an oath when I +graduated from medical school. Sometimes I want to break that oath, but +I have not so far." He paused. "Try as I may I cannot blame them for +hating you. You know why." + +Rush wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. "Don't you realize that +the government that punished the men I worked with for their 'criminal +negligence' is the same government that commissioned them to do that +work--that officials were warned and rewarned of the things that small +increases in radiation might do and that such things might not show up +immediately--and yet they ordered us ahead?" He stopped for a moment and +put his head down, touching his work-roughened hands to his eyes. "They +put us in prison for refusing to do a job or investigated us until no +one could or would trust us in civilian jobs--then when it was done they +put us in prison or worse because the very things we warned them of came +true." + +"Perhaps that is true," the doctor said stiffly, "but the choice of +refusing was still possible." + +"Some of us did refuse to work," Rush said softly. "I did, for one. +Perhaps you think that we alone will bear the blame. You are wrong. +Sooner or later the stigma will spread to all of the sciences--and to +you, doctor. Too many now that you can't save; in a little while the +hate will surround you also. When we are gone and they must find +something new to hate they will blame you for every malformed baby and +every death. You think that one of you will find a cure for this thing. +Perhaps you would if you had a hundred years or a thousand years, but +you haven't. They killed a man on the street in New York the other day +because he was wearing a white laboratory smock. What do you wear in +your office, doctor? Hate-blind eyes can't tell the difference: +Physicist, chemist, doctor.... We all look the same to a fool. Even if +there were a cancer cure that is only a part of the problem. There are +the babies. Your science cannot cope with the cause--only mine can do +that." + +The doctor lowered his head and turned away toward the door. + +There was another thing left to say: "If the plumbing went bad in your +home, doctor, you would call a plumber, for he would be the one +competent to fix it." Rush shook his head slowly. "But what happens when +there are no plumbers left?" + + * * * * * + +The children were by the bed, their hands holding those of the mother. +Gently John Rush tugged those hands away and led them toward their own +bed. The small hands were cold in his own and he felt a tiny feeling of +revulsion as they tightened. Then the feeling slipped away and was +replaced--as if a current had crossed from their hands to his. It was a +warm feeling--one that he had known before when they touched him, but +for which he had never been able to find mental words to express the +sensation. + +Slowly he helped them undress. When they were in the single bed he +covered them with the top sheet. Their milky eyes surveyed him, +unseeing, somehow withdrawn. + +"I have not known you well," he said. "I left that to her. I have sat +and brooded and buried myself in the earth until it is too late for much +else." He touched the small heads. "I wish you could hear me. I wish ..." + +Outside on the road a truck roared past. Instinctively he set to hear +it. The faces below him did not change. + +He turned away quickly then and went back out on the porch. He filled +his pipe and sat down in the old, creaky rocker. A tiny rain had begun +to fall hesitantly--as if afraid of striking the sun-hardened ground. + +_Somewhere out there, somewhere hunted, but not found, the plumbers +gathered. There had been a man--what was his name? Masser--that was it. +He had been working on a way to inhibit radioactivity--speed up the +half-life until they had taken the grant away. If a man can do whatever +he thinks of--can he undo that which he has done?_ + +_Masser was the theoreticist--I was the applier, the one who translated +equations into cold blueprints. And I was good until they ..._ + +They had hounded him back to the land when he quit. Others had not been +so lucky. When a whole people panic then an object for their hate must +be found. A naming. An immediate object. He remembered the newspaper +story that began: "They lynched twelve men, twelve ex-men, in New Mexico +last night ..." + +_Have I been wrong? Have I done the right thing?_ He remembered the tiny +hands in his own, the blind eyes. + +_Those hands. Why do they make me feel like ..._ + +He let his head slide back against the padded top of the rocking chair +and fell into a light, uneasy sleep. + +The dreams came as they had before. Tiny, inhumanly capable hands +clutched at him and the sun was hot above. There was a background sound +of hydrogen bombs, heard mutely. He looked down at the hands that +touched and asked something of his own. The eyes were not milky now. +They stared up at him, alert and questioning. _What is it you want?_ + +The wind tore holes in tiny voices and there was the sound of laughter +and his wife's eyes were looking into his own, sorry only for him, at +peace with the rest. And they formed a ring around him, those three, +hands caught together, enclosing him. _What is it you are saying?_ + +It seemed to him that the words would come clear, but the rain came +then, great torrents of it, washing all away, all sight and sound.... + + * * * * * + +He awoke and only the rain was true. The tiny rain had increased to a +wind-driven downpour and he was soaked where it had blown under the +eaves onto the porch. + +From inside the house he heard a cry. + +She was sitting upright in bed. Her eyes were open and full of pain. He +went quickly to her and touched her pulse. It was faint and reedy. + +"I hurt," she whispered. + +Quickly, as the doctor had taught him, he made up a shot of morphine, a +full quarter grain, and gave it to her. Her eyes glazed down, but did +not close. + +"John," she said softly, "the children ... they ... talk to ..." She +twisted on the bed and he held her with strong arms until the eyes +closed again and her breathing became easy. He pushed the ruffled hair +back from her eyes and straightened the awry sheets. + +The vibration of his walking might have wakened the twins. He tiptoed to +_their_ bed--for they refused to be parted even in sleep. + +For a second he thought that the small night-light had tricked him by +shadows on shadows. He reached down to touch ... + +They were gone. + +He fought down sudden panic. Where can two children, deaf and dumb and +blind go in the middle of the night? + +Not far. + +He opened the door to the kitchen, hand-hunted for the hanging light. +They were not there--nor were they on the small back porch. The panic +passed critical mass, exploded out of control. He lurched back into the +combination living room, bed room. He looked under all of the beds and +into the small closet--everywhere that two children might conceal +themselves. + +Outside the rain had increased. He peered out into the lightning night. +A truck horn blew ominously far down the road. + +The road? + +He slogged through the mud, instantly soaking as soon as he was out of +shelter, not knowing or caring. Through the front yard, out to the road. +He could see the lights of the truck coming from far away, two tiny +points in the darkness. But no twins. + +He waited helplessly while the truck rushed past, its headlights cutting +holes in the darkness--fearing those lights would outline something that +he had not seen. But there was nothing. + +For another eternity he hunted the muddy fields, the small barn and +outbuildings. The clutch of fear made him shout their names, though he +knew they could not hear. + +And then, suddenly, all fear was gone--like a summer squall near the +sea, with the sun close behind. It was as if their hands had reached out +and touched him and brought the strange feeling again. + +"They are in the house," he said aloud and knew he was right. + +He took time to discard muddy shoes on the porch before he opened the +door. And they were there--by the mother's bed, hands clasped over hers. + +He felt a tiny chill. Their eyes were watching the door as he opened it, +their faces set to receive some stimuli--already set--as if they had +known he was coming. + +Mary was breathing softly. On her face all trace of pain had disappeared +and now there was the tiny smile that had been hers long ago. Her +breathing was even, but light as forgotten conversation. + +Gently he tried to pry their resisting hands away from hers. The hands +fought back with a terrible strength beyond normality. By sheer greater +force he tore one of the twins away. + +It was like releasing a bomb. Sudden pain stabbed through his body. The +twin struggled in his arms, the small hands reaching blindly out for the +thing they had lost. And Mary's eyes opened and all of the uncontrolled +pain came, back into those eyes. Her body writhed on the bed, tearing +the coverings away. The twin squirmed away from his slackening hold and +once again caught at the hands of the mother. + +All struggle ceased. Mary's eyes shut again, the pain lines smoothed +themselves, the tiny smile flowered. + +He reached out and touched the small hands on each side of the mother +and the feeling for which there were no words came through more +strongly than ever before. Tiny voices tried to whisper within the +corners of his mind, partially blotted, sometimes heard. The _real_ +things, the things of hate and fear and despair retreated beyond the +bugle call that sounded somewhere. + +"She will die," the voice said; one voice for two. "This part of her +will die." + +And then _her_ voice came--as it had been once before when all of the +world was young. "You must not be afraid, John. I have known for a long +time--for they were a part of me. And you could not know for your mind +was hiding and alone. I have seen ..." + +He cried out and pulled his hands away. Sound died, the room was normal +again. The milky, white eyes surveyed him, the hands remained locked +securely over those of the mother. The thin carven features of the +children were emotionless, waiting. + +He strove for rational meaning within his brain. _These are my +sons--they can not see or hear or speak. They are identical twins--born +with those defects._ + +Take two children, blind them, make them deaf to all sound, cut away +their voices. They are identical twins, facing the same environment, +sharing the same heredity of blasted chromosomes. They will have +intelligence and curiosity that increases as they mature. They will not +be blinded by the senses--the easy way. The first thing they will +discover is each other. + +What else might they then discover? + +It has been said that when sight is lost the sense of touch and hearing +increase to almost unbelievable acuteness--Rush knew that. The blind +often also develop a sense almost like radar which allows them to +perceive an object ahead of them and gives them the ability to follow +twisting paths. + +Take one child and put him under the disability that the twins were born +with. As intelligence grows so does single bewilderment. The world is a +puzzling and bewildering place. Braille is a great discovery--a way to +communicate with the unknown that lies beyond. + +But the twins had shown almost no interest in Braille. + +He reached back down for the tiny hands. + + * * * * * + +"Yes, we can communicate," the single voice that spoke for two said. "We +have tried with you before, but we could not break through. Your mind +speaks in a language we do not understand, in figures and equations that +are not real to us. Those things lie all through your mind--on the +surface we have sensed only your pity for us and your hate for the +shadowy ones around you, the ones we do not know. It was a wall we could +not climb. She is different. + +"A part of her will go with us," the voice said. "There is another place +that touches this one which we perceive and know more fully than this +one." + +The voice died away and brief pictures of a land of other dimensions +beyond sight flashed in his brain. He had seen them before imperfectly +in the disquieting dreams. "She must go with us for she can no longer +exist here," the voice said softly. "Perhaps there are others like us to +come--we do not yet know what we are or whether there will be others +like us. But we must go now, before we were ready, because of her." + +The mother's voice came. "You must go too. There is nothing here for you +but sorrow. They will take you, John." A softness touched at him. +"Please, John." + +The longing was a thing of fire. To cast off the world that had already +given him all of the hate and fear that he could stand, that had made +him worse than a coward. To go with her. + +But she no longer needed him. She was complete--as they were, only +necessary to themselves. + +He could not go. + +During the long night he kept the vigil by the bedside; long after any +need to keep it. + +The twins were gone and she with them. + +He could not cry for all tears seemed useless. He said a small prayer, +something he had not done in years, over the cold thing left behind. + +The rain had ceased outside. Somewhere out there in his world there were +men trying to undo the harm that had been done, harm that he had helped +to do, then retreated from. He had no right to retreat further. + +Something spoke a requiem sentence in his consciousness, light as late +sunset, only vaguely there. "_We are_ here--we will wait for you ... +come to us ... come ..." + +He wrote a short note for the doctor and the others who would come and +hunt and go through the motions that men must live by. Perhaps the +doctor might even understand. + +"I have gone plumbing," the note said. + + + + +Transcriber's Note: + + This etext was produced from _Fantastic Universe_ August 1957. + Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. + copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and + typographical errors have been corrected without note. + + A section of text was missing from the original printing. To + restore narrative flow, the following italicised text has been + added as a suggested amendment: "It had begun to lightning and + a few large drops of rain stroked _Rush's cheek. Not a_ good + year for the farming he had retreated to. Not a good year for + anything." + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Now We Are Three, by Joe L. 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