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diff --git a/29463.txt b/29463.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8b209a8 --- /dev/null +++ b/29463.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1690 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Foreign Tour of Messrs. Brown, Jones +and Robinson, by Richard Doyle + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Foreign Tour of Messrs. Brown, Jones and Robinson + Being the History of What They Saw, and Did, in Belgium, + Germany, Switzerland & Italy. + +Author: Richard Doyle + +Release Date: July 20, 2009 [EBook #29463] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FOREIGN TOUR--BROWN, JONES, ROBINSON *** + + + + +Produced by Louise Hope + + + + +[This plain-text file, containing only the captions to Richard Doyle's +drawings, is included for completeness. The HTML version includes all +drawings and decorative text. + +Except for "The Review" and some decorative headers, the entire book +was printed in CAPITAL LETTERS. It has been reformatted for readability; +capitalization decisions are the transcriber's. Text shown in +marks+ +was printed in decorative blackletter type.] + + + + + The Foreign Tour + + of Messrs + + BROWN, JONES, and ROBINSON. + + Being the History of + What They Saw, and Did + in Belgium, Germany, + Switzerland & Italy. + + by + + Richard Doyle. + + + London. Bradbury & Evans. Whitefriars. + + + * * * * * + * * * * + + +[LONDON.] + + +The mail train to Dover. Brown, Jones, and Robinson starting on their +travels. + + + + +[OSTEND.] + + +After a rough passage, Brown, Jones, and Robinson are here seen landed +at Ostend, surrounded, and a little bewildered, by the natives, who +overwhelm them with attentions--seize the luggage, thrust cards into +their hands, drag them in several directions at once, all talking +together (which prevented their directions being so clear as they +otherwise would have been)--and, finally, all expecting money! + + +They are at the Douane, waiting for the officials to search the luggage. + +Robinson and Jones (alarmed by expression of Brown's countenance). +--"What's the matter now?" Brown (in a voice of agony). --"I've left the +key of my bag at home!" + + + + +[OSTEND TO COLOGNE.] + + +A sketch made at Malines. + + +How they saw Belgium. + + + + +[COLOGNE.] + + +THE ARRIVAL AT COLOGNE. + +Travellers passing their examination. In the foreground is Jones's +portmanteau undergoing the "ordeal by touch." + + +Manner and custom of the people, as seen from the railway by Brown, and +made a note of. + + +B. J. and R., who took their places on the roof the better to command +the view, are seen at the moment when the idea occurred to the two +former that they might possibly not "fit" under the archway. Robinson is +so wrapped up in thought, and a cigar, that he is unconscious of all +else. + +This represents the Cologne omnibus on its journey from the station into +the city, when stopped by the military, and made to "stand and deliver" +the passports. + + +Arrival at the hotel, and first coming in sight of that amiable and +obliging race, the German waiter. He is small in stature (scarcely the +size of life, as Jones remarked), and remains always a boy. + + +"Speise-Saal" hotel, Cologne-- Enter Brown, Jones, and Robinson, +fatigued, and somewhat disordered by travel, and "so hungry." + + +How an agent of Jean Maria Farina addressed them, who was kind enough +to put some of the celebrated "Eau" upon their handkerchiefs, and to +receive orders for the same. + + +The real Eau de Cologne, and its effect upon the noses of three +illustrious individuals. + + +"Kellner" presents the bill. + + +They "do" Cologne cathedral. + + + + +[COLOGNE TO BONN.] + + +The railway from Cologne to Bonn. --B. J. and R. "Just in time." + + +First glimpse of Rhine scenery. + + + + +[BONN.] + + +Jones's little all is contained in this small portmanteau. + + +Robinson, on the contrary, finds it quite impossible to move with less +than this. + + +This scene represents the Rhine boat about to start from Bonn, and +passengers from the railway embarking. In the foreground an accident has +occurred, a porter having upset the luggage of an English family, the +head of which is saluting him with the national "Damn," while the +courier of the party expresses the same idea in German. + + + + +[THE RHINE.] + + +BROWN'S FIRST IMPRESSION OF THE RHINE. + +_From an ORIGINAL SKETCH in the possession of his family._ + + +HEADS OF THE NATIVES. + +_A Leaf from Brown's Sketch Book._ + + +COMPANY ON BOARD THE RHINE BOAT. + +Amongst them was a travelling tutor, and three young gentlemen, his +pupils. He stood in the midst of them smiling blandly, an open volume in +his hand, (probably a classic author,) between which, and his pupils, +and the scenery, he divided his attention in about equal parts. There +was a specimen of the English grumbler, big, burly, and as if in danger +of choking from the tightness of his cravat. Every one knows him, his +pleasant ways, and his constant flow of good humour and cheerfulness; +that is he, sitting to the right. There were besides, numerous young +gentlemen from the universities, from the army, from the bar, all with +more or less hair on their upper lips; and there was a cavalry officer +of the Russian guard, and a professor, on his way to Heidelberg, and +loose, dishevelled, hairy, smoky young Germans, with long beards, and +longer pipes. And there was a British nobleman, and a British alderman, +and a British alderwoman; and there were British ladies whom I can't +describe, because they wore those "ugly" things which prevent them being +seen; intelligent young Americans on their way all over the world; nuns, +with their quiet, happy faces; Red Republicans from Frankfort, and snobs +from London. + + +THE GREAT BRITON. + +As he stood contemplating the Rhine-land, wondering if it would be +possible to live in that country; and considering (supposing he had one +of those castles, now) how many thousands a-year one could do it with. +The scenery would do; and with English institutions it might be made a +good thing of. + +N.B. --He little thinks what Brown is doing. + +Even the nun was not safe from Brown. He is here seen taking her off, in +a rapid act of sketching. + + +B. J. and R. had just begun to enjoy the scenery, when, to their +consternation, who should appear on board but the "Bore," who instantly +was down upon them. For three mortal hours he entertained them with +fashionable intelligence, anecdotes of the aristocracy, the court +circular, births, deaths, marriages, &c. + + +This was supposed to be an M.P. travelling in search of "facts." He is +giving Brown his views; and also the statistics of everything. + + +A VIEW ON THE RHINE. + + +THE LONDON GENT UP THE RHINE. + +He is taken at the moment when expressing his opinion that the whole +concern is a "do" and a "sell." + + +BRITISH FARMER AND SON IN FOREIGN PARTS. + +They both wore a perpetual grin and stare of surprise, Jones thought +that they had taken leave of England and their senses at once, owing to +the withdrawal of protection. + + +THE RHINE BOAT. + +Brown may be seen seated there upon the paddle-box, rapidly sketching +every church, ruined castle, town, or other object of interest on either +bank of the river. Those are Jones and Robinson, leaning over the side +of the boat below him. Observe, also, the stout party who has called for +brandy-and-water, and whose countenance almost lapses into a smile as +"Kellner" approaches with the beverage. The tutor, it is pleasant to +see, has at last put his "Classic" in his pocket, and gives himself up +to the undivided enjoyment of the scene, while his "young charge" is +wrapped in contemplation of mechanical science as exemplified in the +structure of the wheel. And that must surely be the gent who has such a +low opinion of the beauty of the Rhine-land, seated at the stern of the +boat with his legs dangling over the river. Let us hope that he is happy +now! + + +THE ENGLISH "MILORD" UPON THE RHINE. + +How happy he looks! He dislikes the hum of men, and sits all day shut up +in his carriage reading the literature of his country. How rude of those +Germans to be laughing and joking so near his lordship! + + +PERFECT ENJOYMENT. + + + + +[COBLENTZ.] + + +Indignation of Robinson, at sight of inadequate washing apparatus. He +rang the bell with such violence, that all the waiters rushed in, +thinking that the hotel was on fire, or that a revolution had broken +out. + +There he stood, pointing to the water, about half a pint in a basin the +size of a breakfast cup; and in a voice of suppressed emotion, demanding +to know if "Das ist, etc." + + +JONES'S NIGHT THOUGHTS. + +"Man wants but little here below," _but_ "wants that little long." + + +If you should forget the number of your key and room (_as BROWN did on +returning late from the theatre_), what are you to do? + + ++An Incident in the Life of Jones's Dog.+ + +How this animal seemed to have imbibed communistic principles, and how +he stole a sausage, and how the population rose like one man, and hunted +him through the town. + + +The dog having outstripped the populace, proceeds to eat the sausage. + + +Having done so, he looks stouter than he did, and is inclined to rest. +The inhabitants, eager for vengeance, surround him, but are kept at bay +by the expression of his countenance. + + +One burly peasant having the hardihood to approach too near, he is made +as example of. _Exeunt omnes._ + + + + +[THE RHINE.] + + +Brown, with noble perseverance, sits upon the paddle-box, regardless of +the storm, and sketches the castles and towns, as the steam-boat passes +them. + + +--Till in a moment of grief his hat and several sketches were carried +off for ever: and then he thought it time to go below. + + +How a citizen of the United States addressed Brown; and how he put the +following questions during the first five minutes of their acquaintance. + +1. "Where are you going?" + +2. "What place do you hail from?" + +3. "Conclude you go toe Frankfort?" + +4. "You're Mr. Brown, I reckon?" + +5. "What names do your friends go by?" + +Statements made during the same period. + +1. "This here Rhine ain't much by the side of our Mississippi." + +2. "Old Europe is 'tarnally chawed up." + + +BROWN'S HAT. + +Robinson was very merry about this incident, and both he and Jones kept +poking fun at Brown during the rest of the day. They parodied the well +known song of "My heart's on the Rhine," substituting "My hat's in the +Rhine;"--(it was very poor stuff, we have been assured by Brown)--and +they made pointed allusions to the name of "Wide-Awake." + +The above drawing is from a rude sketch by Jones. + + +THE SCENERY BECOMES MYSTERIOUS. + +They now became enveloped in what seemed a combination of fog +(London November) and mist (Scotch). Only think of those two national +institutions going up the Rhine with the rest of the fashionable world. +At first it obscured the hill tops, with the ruins thereon; then the +villages and vineyards below; and finally both banks of the river +entirely disappeared. The company on board the steamboat did not, +at this period, present the most cheerful aspect. + + + + +[MAYENCE TO FRANKFORT.] + + +How Robinson's favourite portmanteau, which he had forgotten to lock, +was dropped accidentally by a porter while conveying it to the omnibus. + + +Jones hints to Robinson that it is time to get up. + + + + +[FRANKFORT.] + + +How they visited a "quarter" of the city of Frankfort, and what they saw +there! + + +Robinson here wrote his celebrated letter to the "Times," on the subject +of the deficiency of soap and water, from which, as we have seen in a +former page, he suffered so grievously. It was conceived in terms of +indignant eloquence; and drew a terrible picture of the state of social, +political, and religious degradation into which a country must have +sunk, where such things could be tolerated. + + +As they walked through the town, bent upon seeing the Ariadne, and +unconscious of danger, suddenly an object appeared in sight that filled +them with terror. It was the "Bore!" stepping jauntily along on the +other side of the street. To hesitate was to be lost! So they plunged +into the nearest shop for protection, and stood there breathless with +expectation and fear. Presently Jones--putting his head very gradually +out--reconnoitred, and finding all safe they resumed their way. + + +Robinson thinks it "the thing" to encourage native industry wherever he +goes, and so buys a German pipe. + + + + +[HEIDELBERG.] + + +"Kellner!" + + +While Brown, Jones, and Robinson supped, a party of philosophers carry +on an aesthetical discussion, with an accompaniment of pipes and beer. + + +"* * * The night was beautiful, so we determined after supper to have +a look at the celebrated castle--Jones and I did, that is to say, for +Robinson was so fatigued with travel that he declined moving, muttering +something about 'Castle can wait.' We ascended; the moon shone brightly +through the ruins, and bathed the landscape in its silvery light, the +beautiful Neckar flowing at our feet. Under us lay the town, a thousand +lights twinkling in the stillness." * * "Suddenly, to our horror, +there appeared upon the terrace 'The Bore!'" --_Extract from Brown's +Journal._ + + +"At last he left us. But not before he had taken from his pocket a +letter received that morning from Green ('You know Green, of course,' +he said, 'everybody does'), and read it aloud from beginning to end. It +told of a 'good thing' said at the club by Smith; and of two marriages, +and a duel likely to come off, besides several interesting particulars +regarding the winner of the St. Leger." --_Ibid._ + +When Jones and Brown were left once more alone, they wandered and +pondered amongst the ruins, and moralised over the instability of +things--they were even becoming sentimental--when, suddenly, a terrific +sound was heard--like the barking of a dog--and the next moment the +animal himself was seen emerging from the darkness, and making towards +them at the top of his speed. They turned and fled! + + +Meeting by moonlight. + + +Robinson, after the departure of Jones and Brown, seated himself before +the fire and fell fast asleep. + + +He continued in that state, notwithstanding that the philosophers became +very noisy, and even warlike. + + +--And although--after the latter had retired (fortunately without coming +to blows)--his chair toppled over, he quietly assumed a horizontal +position. + +Fancy the feelings of Jones and Brown on returning, and finding their +friend lying on his back upon the floor, snoring! + + +They lifted him up, and carried him off to bed. + + +Next morning they entertained Robinson with a thrilling account of the +dangers of their expedition, in which that dreadful dog filled a very +large space. + +The above will give some faint idea of what they pictured to themselves +(and to Robinson). + + + + +[THE REVIEW.] + + +Brown, Jones, and Robinson have arrived at ----, the capital of ----, a +small German state (we won't say which, as it would be giving it an +undue distinction, and might offend the others). + +They have been received with distinguished consideration, the "local" +paper having announced their arrival as Count Robinson, Sir Brown, and +the Rev. Jones. They have been invited to be present at a grand review, +and Robinson--who amongst other necessaries in those portmanteaus of +his, carried a uniform as Captain of Yeomanry--thought that this was +just the proper occasion to appear in it. Accordingly, he rode on to the +ground upon a charger (hired), in the character of a warrior, with a +solemnity of countenance befitting the scene and his country, and +accompanied by Jones (also mounted), but in the costume of an ordinary +individual of the period. Brown preferred going on foot. That is +Robinson in the centre. Just at the time when he ought to be riding up +the line, inspecting the troops with the Grand Duke and his staff--his +horse (a "disgusting brute," as Robinson afterwards described him, "who +could not have been in the habit of carrying gentlemen") suddenly stood +on his hind legs, in the very middle of the field, so that his rider was +forced to cling on to him in an absurd manner, in full view of the army, +the people, and the court. + +R. at that moment earnestly desired that the earth might open and +swallow him. + +KEY TO THE CARTOON. + +1. Robinson. 2. The Grand Duke. 3. The Crown Prince. 4. The Rest of the +Serene Family. 5. Mr. Jones. 6. The Population. 7. Mr. Jones's Dog. +8. Mr. Brown. 9. The Army. 10. Distant View of the Capital. 11. Foreign +Visitors. 12. Monument to late Duke. + + + + +[BADEN.] + + +A SCENE AT BADEN. + + +THE RIGHT OF SEARCH. + + ++Of the Adventure that befel Jones.+ + + +I. + +Jones's dog having come upon a sentinel, and struck, perhaps, by his +small size compared with the sentinels he is used to, commences to say, +"Bow!--wow!--wow!--wew--u--u!" + +The soldier, offended by these remarks, presents for the animal's +consideration, the point of his bayonet. + + +II. + +Jones expostulates, with that freedom of speech which is the birthright +of every Englishman. + + +III. + +But obtaining no satisfaction, calls on the miserable foreigner to +"Come on." + + +IV. + +First (and last) round. --The soldier did "Come on," frowning. Jones +received him, smiling. --The soldier made play with his musket: Jones +put in his left. They closed, and a terrific struggle ensued, in the +course of which Jones got his adversary's "Nob" into "Chancery." + + +V. + +The soldier, at this point, unable to use his arms, took to his legs, +and administered a series of kicks upon the shins of Jones, who in +return seized him, lifted him in the air, and threw him. + + +VI. + +Then, considering that justice and the honour of his country were alike +satisfied, he retired, leaving the body of his antagonist on the field. + + +VII. + +Shows the "body," on discovering that life was not extinct, attempting +to rise. + +P.S. --He was last seen making frantic efforts to regain his feet, and +seemingly prevented from doing so by the weight of his knapsack, and +other accoutrements. + + +VIII. + +Jones was late at breakfast; he found Robinson reading "Galignani," and +Brown looking out of window, and after giving them an amusing account of +the fun he had had, was just sitting down to the table, when Brown +shouted out, "By Jove, there is a regiment of soldiers coming down the +street!" + + +IX. + +At first Jones was incredulous; but presently Brown, his hair standing +on end, rushed towards him, and in a voice of agony, cried, "As sure as +we are alive they have stopped in front of the house, and the _OFFICER +IS COMING IN!_" + + +X. + +It was too true. The soldiers had come to look after the Englishman who +had attacked and beaten their comrade. + + +XI. + +After a few moments of breathless suspense, the officer enters--Jones +stands like a man about to struggle with adversity. + + +XII. + +Nevertheless he is arrested and marched off. + + +XIII. + +Robinson, in agony, calls for his coat and hat, "For," as he cried out +to Brown, "not a moment is to be lost in endeavouring to see the British +Minister." + + +XIV. + +They gain an audience of His Excellency the British Minister, and ask +his interference in behalf of a persecuted countryman. + +We are happy to add that the interference was quite successful. Jones +was liberated immediately, and shortly afterwards the British Minister +for Foreign Affairs, in a despatch to the German Minister for the same, +expressed his conviction that "The whole civilised world reprobated, +with one voice, a system at once tyrannical and cruel, a remnant of the +darkest ages of man's history, and utterly unworthy of the present era +of progress and enlightenment." + +Our friends were advised, however, to leave the country as soon and as +quietly as possible. They departed accordingly. + + + + +[BADEN TO BASLE.] + + +Head-dresses of peasantry. A sketch on the road to Basle. + + +How Brown and Jones went in a third class carriage (Robinson would not; +it did not seem "respectable"), that they might see the natives, and how +B. drew the portrait of one, to her evident dissatisfaction. + + +The omnibus besieged and taken by storm. + + + + +[BASLE.] + + +"The height of the omnibusses is quite disgusting." --_Extract from +unpublished documents in possession of ROBINSON, who himself fell in the +mud, while climbing from the roof of one of those vehicles._ + + +Scene from the road, near Basle. + + +Storks' nest, Basle. + + + + +[SWITZERLAND.] + + +BOAT STATION ON THE LAKE OF LUCERNE; +AS SKETCHED BY BROWN FROM THE STEAMER. + +According to the guide-book, the paintings on the wall represent Furst, +Stauffach, and Melchthal, swearing to liberate their country; but Jones +said he believed them to be portraits of a medieval Swiss Brown, Jones, +and Robinson, in the act of vowing eternal friendship. + + +The safest way of coming down a mountain. + + +"We got out of the diligence (at a time when it was obliged to go very +slowly), in order to make an excursion on foot in search of the +picturesque, being told that we might meet the carriage at a certain +point, about a mile further on. We saw many magnificent views, and did a +great deal of what might be called rough walking; but perhaps the thing +that struck us most was, that on emerging at the appointed spot for +rejoining the diligence, we beheld it a speck in the distance, just +departing out of sight." --_Extract from Jones's Journal._ + + +The seven ages of Robinson's beard. + + +What are they to do now? + + +DESCENT OF THE ST. GOTHARD. + +Having taken their places on the outside of the diligence, Brown, Jones, +and Robinson can the better enjoy the grandeur of the scenery. + + +They see Italy in the distance. + + +A meeting on the mountain. + + +Pilgrims coming _down_ the "Hill of Difficulty." + + + + +[ITALY.] + + +BREAKFAST AT BELLINZONA. + +It was their first day in Italy, and how they did enjoy it! The repast +was served in a stone summer-house attached to the hotel. The sun was so +bright, and so hot; the sky was so blue, the vegetation so green, the +mountains so purple, the grapes so large, and everything so beautiful, +that Brown and Jones both decided that the scene fully realised all +their imaginings of Italy. Robinson was enthusiastic, too, at first, and +was beginning to say something about "Italia, O Italia," when his eye +lit upon a green lizard running up the wall. From that moment he was +more subdued. + + +How they got Robinson up the hills. + + + + +[ITALIAN LAKES.] + + +They land upon Austrian territory en route for Milan. While the "proper +officer" takes possession of their passports, the whole available +population pounces upon the luggage, and, after apportioning it into +"small allotments," carries it off to the custom house. + + +The official here is seen "pointing" on the scent (as he thinks) of +contraband goods in one of Robinson's portmanteaus. He did not "find," +but in the hunt, tossed R.'s "things" dreadfully. Brown revenged the +wrongs of self and friends, by taking a full length, on the spot, of +that imposing administrator, who stands over there, with the passports +in his hand. + + +"Excelsior!" + + +An Italian view. + + +"Buon giorno." + + +EVENING ON THE LAGO MAGGIORE. + + +"'Knowest thou the land' where the grapes are as plentiful as +blackberries in England; and where one has only to stop a minute at the +roadside, and pull no end of 'em. O 'tis there! 'tis there! etc." +--_Robinson's letters to his kinsfolk._ + + +MARIE. + +Oh! Marie of the Lago d'Orta, maid of the inn, and most beautiful of +waitresses, how well do I remember thee! How graceful were all thy +movements; what natural ease, together with what a dignified reserve; +--How truly a lady wert thou! You did not know it, but when you waited +upon us, I always felt inclined to jump up from my chair, and open +the door for you-- to take the dishes from your hands, to ask you +respectfully to be seated, to wait upon you in fact. And O! How I did +detest that wicked old landlady, your mistress, who used to bully and +scold you. And I wonder whether you remember me. --_From a MS., very +rare, in possession of Brown._ + + +This picture represents Brown as he appeared, his feelings being "too +many for him," on hearing that elderly she-dragon, the landlady, venting +her ill-humour upon the gentle Marie. He stole out of the dining-room, +looked over into the yard, and there beheld the furious old female +shaking her fist, and pouring forth a torrent of abuse. Brown was not +naturally of a savage temperament, but at that moment he felt that he +could have--but it is best not to say what he could have done--it was +too terrible for publication in these pages. + + +A BOAT AT ORTA. + + +A MOUNTAIN WALK. + +Robinson, with warmth, and some distance behind,-- "What is the use of +going on at that rate?" + + +Poor Jones! Who would have thought he could ever be tired! + + +Pleasant. + + +The accident that befell Robinson. --No. 1. + + +The accident that befell Robinson. --No. 2. + + + + +[ORTA.] + + +ROBINSON RETIRES FOR THE NIGHT. + +To prevent anxiety, we had better state that he is tired--nothing else. + + +"Now do, Robinson, jump up like a good fellow; we ought to be starting +now--and think how pleasant it will be, once you are up!" + + + + +[VARALLO.] + + +THE INN. + + +How Brown, returning from sketching, was beset by beggars in a lonely +place. + + + + +[MILAN.] + + +They pay a visit to the marionette theatre. + + +A snob they saw writing his name upon roof of Milan cathedral. + + +ENLIGHTENED BEHAVIOUR IN A FOREIGN CHURCH. + +We are happy to say, that B. J. and R. had no connection with the above +party. + + +Robinson's determination to let his beard grow "naturally," had an +absurd result, the hair growing in violent and abrupt crops in some +places, and not at all in others; so that Jones, who was sensitive about +appearances, (and whose own moustache was doing beautifully,) insisted +at last upon R.'s being shaved, which event accordingly took place in +the city of Milan. It was well that Robinson consented, for the barber +eyed him eagerly, and as if he would spring upon him and shave him by +force. + + +CAFE MILAN.--SUDDEN AND UNEXPECTED ARRIVAL OF DISTINGUISHED FOREIGNERS. + +The moment we seated ourselves in a cafe, an awful group of beggars +stood before us--so suddenly that they appeared to have come up through +a trap-door--and demanded alms. They would not go without money, and +when they got it they took it as a right. It would not do for one of us +to "settle" with them for the whole party, for no sooner had I given +them a coin than they turned to Jones, and when done with him, coolly +set upon Robinson. The instant one tribe departed, a fresh relais +arrived, so that there was a constant supply (of beggars) and demand (on +our purses). + +No place seemed safe: in the most magnificent and luxuriously-decorated +cafes they had perfect right of way, the contrast between the rich +gilding, glass, fountains, etc., of the one, and the rags, dirt, and +dramatically got-up horrors of the other being picturesque, but +certainly not pleasant; and yet, as Jones remarked, they say this +country has not free institutions. + + + + +[VERONA.] + + +THE AMPHITHEATRE, VERONA. + +Jones asks Robinson, whether he "Sees before him the gladiator die?" but +Robinson maintains a dignified silence. + + +Austrian detective stops Brown to examine his sketching stool. It +puzzles him. There is an air of mystery about it. It might possibly be a +weapon to be used for political purposes, or an infernal machine! Who +knows? On the whole, he thinks he had better detain it. + + +SCENE--DISCOVERS BROWN SKETCHING. + +Enter the Austrian army. They advance upon him, they think he is taking +the fortifications. + + +Robinson, who is much given to quotation, is, at the very moment, +languidly reciting the lines:-- + + "Am I in Italy? Is this the Mincius? + And those the distant turrets of Verona? + And shall I sup where Juliet at the masque + Saw her loved Montague?" --etc., etc. + + +Not being familiar with the German, or the Croatian language, Brown is +helpless. He protests his innocence, but the military don't understand +him. They see treason in his hat, which is of an illegal shape, and they +arrest him. + + +Jones and Robinson appear, to the surprise of the military, and relief +of Brown. + + +Brown, quite resigned, walks quietly to meet his fate. Jones plunges +violently, but is finally overcome. Robinson resists passively, and is +accordingly dragged along. + + +SKETCHES FOUND UPON BROWN. + + +They are brought before the Governor. That is he seated at the table, +the soldiers showing him the libellous representations of the Croats +found in Brown's portfolio. The latter expects to be ordered for instant +execution; but Jones assumes an air of great dignity, and says, "_Civis +Romanus sum_." + + +The Governor, Field-Marshal Lieutenant Count Brown, of the Imperial +service, discovers in his prisoner a near relation of his own; and our +friend is instantly locked in the embrace of that distinguished warrior. +Jones remarked "All's well that ends well;" and Robinson, greatly +relieved, broke out with:-- + + "Thus may each" nephew "whom chance directs, + Find an" uncle "when he least expects." + + + + +[VENICE.] + + +EXAMINATION OF PASSPORTS. + + +HOTEL. + + +MODERN VENETIAN TROUBADOURS. + +An evening scene before the Cafe Florian, Piazza San Marco. + + +Brown at this period undertook, at the urgent request of Jones and +Robinson, to settle the accounts of the party, which had become +complicated owing to that perplexing "medium," to those unused to it, +the Austrian paper money. + +This is a faithful picture of the unfortunate man as he sat, in the +solitude of his chamber, until a late hour of the night, drawing up the +"financial" statement. + + +Robinson (_solo_). --"I stood in Venice," etc.; Jones and Brown, having +heard something like it before, have walked on a little way. + +_Reflection made by BROWN._ --Why do people when repeating poetry always +look unhappy? + + +ENJOYMENT! + +A scene upon the Grand Canal. + + +THE THEATRE MALIBRAN. + +The entertainment commenced at 5 P.M., and lasted till 7. It consisted +of a melodrama, full of awful crimes, and the most pathetic sentiment. +The audience, chiefly composed of "the people," was, from beginning to +end, in an extraordinary state of excitement, fizzing, like the +perpetual going off of soda-water. The theatre was lighted (?) by about +four oil lamps; and such was the darkness, that our travellers--who may +be seen, perhaps, through the "dim obscure," up in a private box--could +scarcely discern anything but the white uniform and glittering bayonet +of an Austrian sentinel in the pit. + + + + +[A NIGHT IN VENICE.] + + +BROWN RETIRED TO REST. + + +MISERY. + +NOTE.-- If the Musquitos appear rather large in this and the following +scenes, let it be remembered that in the "Heroic" it was a principle of +many of the great painters to exaggerate the "parts." + + +DESPERATION. + + +MOMENTARY RELIEF. + + +MADNESS! + + +BELL!! + + +BOOTS!! + + +DESPAIR!!!! + + + + +[VENICE.] + + +THE ACCADEMIA. + + +GONDOLA ON THE LAGOON. + +Sentiment spoken by Robinson, with marks of adhesion from Brown and +Jones. "Oh, if there be an Elysium on earth, it is this, it is this!!" + + ++The Accademia.+ + + +Scene I. + +Brown (soliloquy). --"This is pleasant! To be quite alone here (dab), +surrounded by these magnificent works (dab, dab, dab), and everything so +quiet too--nothing to disturb one." (Dab) after a pause. "I wonder what +Jones and Robinson are doing (dab, splash)--lying at full length in a +gondola, I dare say--smoking (dab), I think I could spend my life in +this place" (dab, dab). + +"It is difficult to say which is the greatest pleasure, (another dab,) +copying these splendid pictures, or painting from nature, those +beautiful blue skies and crumbling old picturesque palaces, outside." + +(Sings) --"'How happy could I be with either.'" (Prolonged pause, and +great play with brush) --"Oh! That sunset last evening! As we lay out in +our gondola upon the perfectly calm waters, by the Armenian convent, and +watched the sun slowly going down behind the distant towers and spires +of the 'City of the sea'--one mass of gold spreading all over the west!" + * * "Oh! Those clouds! (Another pause) Ah! That was happiness. One +such hour is worth--let me see--how many years of one's life? * * and +yet this is--" + + +Scene II. + +He is set upon and surrounded by an English family, and the following +dialogue ensues:-- + +The Mamma. --"What a delightful occupation, to be sure." + +Young Lady (in a whisper). --"He is copying the Tintoret." + +Youthful Son and Heir (with confidence). --"No, he ain't; he's doing +that stunning big one with the rainbow, and three river gods." + +Second Young Lady. --"It's sweetly pretty, isn't it!" + +Papa (a British merchant, and of a practical turn). --"Very +good--v-e-r-y good. Ahem! Now I wonder what one could make a year by +that kind of thing." + +Young Man (with glass in his eye). --"Slow, I should think." + +At this point Brown's attention was attracted to a scuffle going on +behind him amongst the junior members of the party. Two of the little +innocents had taken a fancy to the same drawing (a copy of his favourite +John Bellino), and after a brief, but fierce struggle for possession, +had settled the difficulty by tearing it in two. (Party retires rather +precipitately.) + + + + +[TRIESTE TO VIENNA.] + + +SKETCH MADE BY BROWN AT TRIESTE. + +NOTE.--If any one doubts the fact, Jones and Robinson are ready to make +affidavit of it. + + +ROBINSON SEARCHED AND INDIGNANT. + +Such things never happen anywhere else. + + + + +[VIENNA.] + + +Arrived at Vienna, they visit the theatre. A gentleman there, +unobtrusively pays them great attention. + + +SCENE--SHOP, VIENNA. + +Jones to Brown-- "What do you say?" + +Brown (who sees that Robinson is bent upon making a "magnificent +addition" to himself, and that it is useless to expostulate). --"Oh, I +think it is splendid; and if you will only appear in it in Pall Mall, +when we get home again, you will make a sensation." + + +THEY VISIT THE PICTURE GALLERIES. + +That man in the doorway seems to take a great interest in their +movements. + + +THE PROMENADE. + +Brown thinks it is the same man! What can he want? + + +THE PUBLIC GARDEN. + +There he was again! Jones suggested that perhaps it was a government +official, who took them for liberty, equality, and fraternity. + + +No sooner did they take their places at the Table d'Hote to dine, than +Brown fell back in his chair. There could be no doubt about it--he was +better dressed than before--but it was the same man! He must be a spy! + + +Jones at the opera abroad. + + +How unlike Jones at the opera at home. + + + + +[VIENNA TO PRAGUE.] + + +"Just ten minutes to dress, breakfast, and get to the train." + + + + +[PRAGUE.] + + +WALLENSTEIN'S HORSE. + +"The head, neck, legs, and part of the body have been repaired--all the +rest is the real horse." --_From speech of the young woman who showed +the animal._ + + +A "KNEIPE" AT PRAGUE. + + +Robinson is so confused with rapid travelling, that he addresses a +waiter in three languages at once. "Kellner!-- Mittags-essen pour +trois-- Presto presto-- and-- waiter!-- Soda water-- col cognac-- +geschwind!" + + +TABLE D'HOTE, PRAGUE. + + + + +[PRAGUE TO COLOGNE.] + + +"Passports!" --"That's the sixth time we have been woke up," groaned +Robinson. + + + + +[RHINELAND AGAIN.] + + +DUSSELDORF. + +Brown _loq._ --I have left my bag behind! + + +MINDEN. + +Here is the bag. + + +How Brown was seated between two soldiers, and how they would examine +each other's swords, and how those fearful weapons were flashing about, +often within an inch of B.'S nose: and how (being of a mild and peaceful +disposition), B. was kept thereby in a constant state of uneasiness. + + + + +[BELGIUM.] + + +Eye of the government; as kept upon the travellers, during their stay in +the Austrian dominions. --_Drawn from the haunted imagination of Brown._ + + +THEIR LAST REPAST IN FOREIGN PARTS. + +Time and train wait for no man. + + +ARTICLES PURCHASED BY ROBINSON. + +1. Eau de Cologne. 2. Pipe; (never smoked.) 3. Hat; (never worn, and +found decidedly in the way.) 4. Cigars; (stopped at Custom House.) +5. Tauchnitz editions; (also seized.) 6. Cornet a pistons; (bought in +Germany with the intention of learning to play upon it some day.) +7. Gloves; (purchased at Venice, a great bargain, and found utterly +worthless.) + + + + +[OLD ENGLAND.] + + ++Sic(k) Transit+ + + ++Gloria Mundi!+ + + + * * * * * + * * * * + + +BRADBURY AND EVANS, + +Printers extraordinary to the queen, + +Whitefriars. + + + * * * * * + * * * * + * * * * * + + +Errors and Iconsistencies (noted by transcriber): + + They both wore a perpetual grin and stare of surprise, + [comma in original: error for period (full stop)?] + 3. "Conclude you go toe Frankfort?" [text unchanged] + An evening scene before the Cafe Florain [error for Florian] + If the Musquitos appear rather large [variant spelling unchanged] + +Of the Adventure that befel Jones.+ + The accident that befell Robinson. + [inconsistent spelling unchanged] + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Foreign Tour of Messrs. 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