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-
-[Illustration: "NESTIE WAS STANDING IN THE CENTRE OF THE LARGE ENTRANCE
-HALL."]
-
-
-
- YOUNG
- BARBARIANS
-
- _By_
- IAN MACLAREN
- Author of "_Beside the Bonnie Brier Bush_"
-
- ILLUSTRATED
-
- NEW YORK
- Dodd, Mead and Company
- 1910
-
-
-
- Copyright, 1899 and 1900,
- By The Curtis Publishing Company,
- as
- A SCOTS GRAMMAR SCHOOL.
-
- Copyright, 1900,
- By The Curtis Publishing Company.
-
- Copyright, 1901,
- By Dodd, Mead and Company.
-
- _First Edition, Published October, 1901_
-
-
-
-
-CONTENTS
-
-
- I
- PAGE
-
- "SPEUG" 1
-
- II
-
- BULLDOG 21
-
- III
-
- NESTIE 39
-
- IV
-
- A FAMOUS VICTORY 59
-
- V
-
- HIS PRIVATE CAPACITY 85
-
- VI
-
- THE DISGRACE OF MR. BYLES 103
-
- VII
-
- THE COUNT 121
-
- VIII
-
- A TOURNAMENT 139
-
- IX
-
- MOOSSY 163
-
- X
-
- A LAST RESOURCE 183
-
- XI
-
- A PLEASANT SIN 205
-
- XII
-
- GUERILLA WARFARE 223
-
- XIII
-
- THE FALL OF GOLIATH 245
-
- XIV
-
- THE BAILIE'S DOUBLE 261
-
- XV
-
- THE TRIUMPH OF THE SEMINARY 281
-
- XVI
-
- BULLDOG'S RECOMPENSE 305
-
-
-
-
-LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
-
-
- "Nestie was standing in the centre of the large
- entrance hall." Frontispiece
-
- "Peter dared not lift his head." 36
-
- "'You are an ill-bred c-cad.'" 50
-
- "Seized an excellent position behind two Russian
- guns." 66
-
- "Nestie whispered something in Speug's ear." 92
-
- "Speug was dragged along the walk." 96
-
- "They were so friendly that they gathered
- round the party." 114
-
- "They were brought in a large spring cart." 118
-
- "Watching a battle royal between the tops." 134
-
- "Before the hour the hall was packed." 158
-
- "Thomas John next instant was sitting on the floor." 170
-
- "The school fell over benches and over another." 174
-
- "His hand closed again upon the sceptre of authority." 202
-
- "They drank without any cup." 218
-
- "Before him stood London John bearing the seductive
- advertisement." 240
-
- "A bottle of ferocious smelling-salts was held
- to the patient's nose." 252
-
-
-
-
-"SPEUG"
-
-I
-
-
-Muirtown Seminary was an imposing building of the classical order,
-facing the north meadow and commanding from its upper windows a fine
-view of the river Tay running rapidly and cleanly upon its gravel bed.
-Behind the front building was the paved court where the boys played
-casual games in the breaks of five minutes between the hours of study,
-and this court had an entrance from a narrow back street along which, in
-snow time, a detachment of the enemy from the other schools might steal
-any hour and take us by disastrous surprise. There were those who wished
-that we had been completely walled up at the back, for then we had met
-the attack at a greater advantage from the front. But the braver souls
-of our commonwealth considered that this back way, affording
-opportunities for ambushes, sallies, subtle tactics, and endless
-vicissitudes, lent a peculiar flavour to the war we waged the whole
-winter through and most of the summer, and brought it nearer to the
-condition of Red Indian fighting, which was our favourite reading and
-our example of heroism. Again and again we studied the adventures of
-Bill Biddon, the Indian spy, not only on account of his hairbreadth
-escapes when he eluded the Indians after a miraculous fashion and
-detected the presence of the red varmint by the turning of a leaf on the
-ground, but also in order to find out new methods of deceit by which we
-could allure our Indians into narrow places, or daring methods of attack
-by which we could successfully outflank them on the broader street and
-drive them into their own retreats with public ignominy.
-
-Within the building the glory of the Seminary was a massive stone stair,
-circular in shape, and having a "well" surrounded on the ground floor by
-a wall some three feet high. Down this stair the masters descended at
-nine o'clock for the opening of the school, with Bulldog, who was the
-mathematical master and the awful pride of the school, at their head,
-and it was strictly forbidden that any boy, should be found within the
-"well." As it was the most tempting of places for the deposit of
-anything in the shape of rubbish, from Highland bonnets to little boys,
-and especially as any boy found in the well was sure to be caned, there
-was an obvious and irresistible opportunity for enterprise. Peter
-McGuffie, commonly called the Sparrow, or in Scotch tongue "Speug," and
-one of the two heads of our commonwealth, used to wait with an
-expression of such demureness that it ought to have been a danger
-signal till Bulldog was halfway down the stair, and a row of boys were
-standing in expectation with their backs to the forbidden place. Then,
-passing swiftly along, he swept off half a dozen caps and threw them
-over, and suddenly seizing a tempting urchin landed him on the bed of
-caps which had been duly prepared. Without turning his head one-eighth
-of an inch, far less condescending to look over, Bulldog as he passed
-made a mental note of the prisoner's name, and identified the various
-bonnetless boys, and then, dividing his duty over the hours of the day,
-attended to each culprit separately and carefully. If any person, from
-the standpoint of this modern and philanthropic day, should ask why some
-innocent victim did not state his case and lay the blame upon the
-guilty, then it is enough to say that that person had never been a
-scholar at Muirtown Seminary, and has not the slightest knowledge of the
-character and methods of Peter McGuffie. Had any boy of our time given
-information to a master, or, in the Scotch tongue, "had clyped," he
-would have had the coldest reception at the hands of Bulldog, and when
-his conduct was known to the school he might be assured of such constant
-and ingenious attention at the hands of Speug that he would have been
-ready to drown himself in the Tay rather than continue his studies at
-Muirtown Seminary.
-
-Speug's father was the leading horsedealer of the Scots Midlands, and a
-sporting man of established repute, a short, thick-set, red-faced,
-loud-voiced, clean-shaven man, with hair cut close to his head, whose
-calves and whose manner were the secret admiration of Muirtown. Quiet
-citizens of irreproachable respectability and religious orthodoxy
-regarded him with a pride which they would never confess; not because
-they would have spoken or acted as he did for a king's ransom, and not
-because they would have liked to stand in his shoes when he came to
-die--considering, as they did, that the future of a horsedealer and an
-owner of racing horses was dark in the extreme--but because he was a
-perfect specimen of his kind and had made the town of Muirtown to be
-known far and wide in sporting circles. Bailie McCallum, for instance,
-could have no dealings with McGuffie senior, and would have been
-scandalised had he attended the Bailie's kirk; but sitting in his shop
-and watching Muirtown life as it passed, the Bailie used to chuckle
-after an appreciative fashion at the sight of McGuffie, and to meditate
-with much inward satisfaction on stories of McGuffie's exploits--how he
-had encountered southern horsedealers and sent them home humbled with
-defeat, and had won hopeless races over the length and breadth of the
-land. "It's an awfu' trade," McCallum used to remark, "and McGuffie is
-no' the man for an elder; but sall, naebody ever got the better o' him
-at a bargain." Among the lads of the Seminary he was a local hero, and
-on their way home from school they loitered to study him, standing in
-the gateway of his stables, straddling his legs, chewing a straw, and
-shouting his views on the Muirtown races to friends at the distance of
-half a street. When he was in good humour he would nod to the lads and
-wink to them with such acuteness and drollery that they attempted to
-perform the same feat all the way home and were filled with despair. It
-did not matter that we were fed, by careful parents, with books
-containing the history of good men who began life with 2_s._ 11_d._, and
-died leaving a quarter of a million, made by selling soft goods and
-attending church, and with other books relating pathetic anecdotes of
-boys who died young and, before they died, delighted society with
-observations of the most edifying character on the shortness of life. We
-had rather have been a horsedealer and kept a stable.
-
-Most of us regarded McGuffie senior as a model of all the virtues that
-were worthy of a boy's imitation, and his son with undisguised envy,
-because he had a father of such undeniable notoriety, because he had the
-run of the stables, because he was on terms of easy familiarity with his
-father's grooms, and because he was encouraged to do those things which
-we were not allowed to do, and never exhorted to do those things which
-he hated to do. All the good advice we ever got, and all the examples of
-those two excellent young gentlemen, the sons of the Rev. Dr.
-Dowbiggin, were blown to the winds when we saw Speug pass, sitting in
-the high dogcart beside his father, while that talented man was showing
-off to Muirtown a newly broken horse. Speug's position on that seat of
-unique dignity was more than human, and none of us would have dared to
-recognise him, but it is only just to add that Peter was quite unspoiled
-by his privileges, and would wink to his humble friends upon the street
-after his most roguish fashion and with a skill which proved him his
-father's son. Social pride and the love of exclusive society were not
-failings either of Mr. McGuffie senior or of his hopeful son. Both were
-willing to fight any person of their own size (or, indeed, much bigger),
-as well as to bargain with anybody, and at any time, about anything,
-from horses to marbles.
-
-Mrs. McGuffie had been long dead, and during her lifetime was a woman of
-decided character, whom the grooms regarded with more terror than they
-did her husband, and whom her husband himself treated with great
-respect, a respect which grew into unaffected reverence when he was
-returning from a distant horse-race and was detained, by professional
-duties, to a late hour in the evening. As her afflicted husband refused
-to marry again, in decided terms, Peter, their only child, had been
-brought up from an early age among grooms and other people devoted to
-the care and study of horses. In this school he received an education
-which was perhaps more practical and varied than finished and polite. It
-was not to be wondered, therefore, that his manners were simple and
-natural to a degree, and that he was never the prey, either in any
-ordinary circumstances, of timidity or of modesty. Although a motherless
-lad, he was never helpless, and from the first was able to hold his own
-and to make his hands keep his head.
-
-His orphan condition excited the compassion of respectable matrons, but
-their efforts to tend him in his loneliness were not always successful,
-nor even appreciated to the full by the young McGuffie. When Mrs.
-Dowbiggin, who had a deep interest in what was called the "work among
-children," and who got her cabs from McGuffie's stable, took pity on
-Peter's unprotected childhood, and invited him to play with her boys,
-who were a head taller and paragons of excellence, the result was
-unfortunate, and afforded Mrs. Dowbiggin the text for many an
-exhortation. Peter was brought back to the parental mansion by Dr.
-Dowbiggin's beadle within an hour, and received a cordial welcome from a
-congregation of grooms, to whom he related his experiences at the Manse
-with much detail and agreeable humour. During the brief space at his
-disposal he had put every toy of the Dowbiggins' in a thorough state of
-repair, and had blacked their innocent faces with burnt cork so that
-their mother did not recognise her children. He had also taught them a
-negro melody of a very taking description, and had reinforced their
-vocabulary with the very cream of the stable. From that day Mrs.
-Dowbiggin warned the mothers of Muirtown against allowing their boys to
-associate with Speug, and Speug could never see her pass on the street
-without an expression of open delight.
-
-When Mr. McGuffie senior brought his son, being then ten years old, to
-the Seminary for admittance, it was a chance that he was not refused and
-that we did not miss our future champion. Mr. McGuffie's profession and
-reputation were a stumbling-block to the rector, who was a man of
-austere countenance and strict habits of life, and Peter himself was a
-very odd-looking piece of humanity and had already established his own
-record. He was under-sized and of exceptional breadth, almost flat in
-countenance, and with beady black eyes which on occasion lit up his face
-as when one illuminates the front of a house, but the occasions were
-rarely those which would commend themselves to the headmaster of a
-public school. How the dealer in horses removed the rector's
-difficulties was never accurately known, but boys passing the door of
-the rector's retiring-room when he was closeted with Mr. McGuffie
-overheard scraps of the conversation, and Muirtown was able to
-understand the situation. It was understood that in a conflict of words
-the rector, an absent-minded scholar of shrinking manner, was not
-likely to come off best, and it is certain that the head of the school
-ever afterwards referred to Mr. McGuffie as "a man of great resolution
-of character and endowed with the gift of forcible speech." As regards
-the son, his affectionate father gave him some brief directions before
-leaving, and in the presence of his fellow-scholars, of which this only
-was overheard, and seemed, indeed, to be the sum and substance: "Never
-give in, ye de'il's buckie." With these inspiriting words Mr. McGuffie
-senior departed through the front door amid a hush of admiration,
-leaving Peter to his fate not far from that "well" which was to be the
-scene of many of his future waggeries.
-
-With the progress of civilisation school life in Scotland has taken on a
-high degree of refinement, and rumour has it--but what will people not
-say?--that a new boy will come in a cab to the Seminary and will receive
-a respectful welcome from the generation following Peter, and that the
-whole school will devote itself to his comfort for days--showing him
-where to hang his cap, initiating him into games, assisting him with his
-lessons, and treating his feelings with delicate respect. It has been my
-own proud satisfaction, as a relic of a former barbarian age, to read
-the rules, which, I believe, are now printed in black letters with red
-capitals and hung in the rooms of Muirtown Seminary. My feelings will
-not allow me to give them all, but the following have moved me almost to
-tears:--
-
-Rule 1.--That every boy attending this school is expected to behave
-himself in speech and deed as a gentleman.
-
-Rule 2.--That anyone writing upon a wall, or in any way marking the
-school furniture, will be considered to have committed an offence, and
-will be punished.
-
-Rule 3.--That every boy is exhorted to treat every other with courtesy,
-and anyone guilty of rudeness to a fellow-scholar is to be reported to
-the headmaster.
-
-Rule 4.--That it is expected of every boy to cultivate neatness of
-appearance, and especially to see that his clothes, collars, cuffs, and
-other articles of clothing be not soiled.
-
-These admirable rules suggest a new atmosphere and one very different
-from that in which we passed our stormy youth, for no sentiment of this
-kind softened life in earlier days or affected our Spartan simplicity.
-The very sight of a newcomer in a speckless suit, with an irreproachable
-tie and both tails on his glengarry bonnet, excited a profound emotion
-in the school and carried it beyond self-control. What could be expected
-of a fellow so bedecked and preserved as if he had just stepped out of a
-bandbox or a tailor's shop? Left alone in his pride and perfection--the
-very beginning of a Pharisee--he would only go from bad to worse and
-come at last to a sad end. We hardly claimed to be philanthropists, but
-we did feel it was our duty to rescue this lad. It might be, of course,
-that we could not finally save him, but he ought at least to have a
-chance, and Speug had a quite peculiar satisfaction in at once removing
-the two offensive tails by one vigorous pull, while the rumpling of a
-collar was a work of missionary zeal. No system of philanthropy is
-successful with all cases, and we had our failures, which we think about
-unto this day, and which have only justified our sad predictions. Boys
-like the two Dowbiggins never improved, and were at last given up in
-despair even by Speug, their tails being renewed day by day and their
-faces remaining in all circumstances quite unmoved; but within a month
-the average boy had laid aside the last remnant of conventionality, and
-was only outdone by Peter himself in studied negligence of attire.
-
-Peter's own course of discipline was sharp, but it did not last long,
-for certain practical reasons.
-
-"What business have you here, ye son of a horse-couper?" was the
-encouraging salutation offered by a solicitor's son to the stumpy little
-figure bereft of its father and left to fight its battles alone.
-
-"Mair business than you, spindleshanks, ye son o' a thievin' lawyer,"
-and although Peter was four years younger and small for his age, he
-showed that he had not learned boxing from his father's grooms without
-profit, and his opponent attended no more classes that day. This
-encounter excited the deepest interest and revived the whole life of the
-school. One lad after another experimented on Peter and made as much of
-it as drawing a badger. He was often hurt, but he never uttered any cry.
-He gave rather more than he got, and lads going home in the afternoon
-could see him giving an account of the studies of the day to an admiring
-audience in the stable-yard. By-and-by he was left severely alone, and
-for the impudence of him, and his courage, and his endurance, and his
-general cockiness, and his extraordinary ingenuity in mischief, he was
-called "Speug," which is Scotch for a sparrow, and figuratively
-expressed the admiration of the school.
-
-It would be brazen falsehood to say that Peter was a scholar, or,
-indeed, gave any voluntary attention to the course of learning laid down
-by the authorities of Muirtown Seminary. He sat unashamed at the foot of
-every class, maintaining a certain impenetrable front when a question
-came his length, and with the instinct of a chieftain never risking his
-position in the school by exposing himself to contempt. When Thomas John
-Dowbiggin was distinguishing himself after an unholy fashion by
-translating Cæsar into English like unto Macaulay's History, Speug used
-to watch him with keen interest, and employ his leisure time in
-arranging some little surprise to enliven the even tenor of Thomas
-John's life. So curious a being, however, is a boy, and so inconsistent,
-that as often as Duncan Robertson answered more promptly than Thomas
-John, and obtained the first place, Speug's face lit up with unaffected
-delight, and he was even known to smack his lips audibly. When the
-rector's back was turned he would convey his satisfaction over Thomas
-John's discomfiture with such delightful pantomime that the united class
-did him homage, and even Thomas John was shaken out of his equanimity;
-but then Duncan Robertson's father was colonel of a Highland regiment,
-and Duncan himself was a royal fighter, and had not in his Highland body
-the faintest trace of a prig, while Thomas John's face was a standing
-reproof of everything that was said and done outside of lesson time in
-Muirtown School.
-
-Peter, however, had his own genius, and for captivating adventures none
-was to be compared with him. Was it not Speug who floated down the
-tunnel through which a swift running stream of clean water reached the
-Tay, and allured six others to follow him, none of whom, happily, were
-drowned? and did not the whole school, with the exception of the
-Dowbiggins, await his exit at the black mouth of the tunnel and reward
-his success with a cheer? Was it not Speug, with Duncan Robertson's
-military assistance, who constructed a large earth-work in a pit at the
-top of the Meadow, which was called the Redan and was blown up with
-gunpowder one Saturday afternoon, seven boys being temporarily buried
-beneath the ruins, and Peter himself losing both eyebrows? And when an
-old lady living next the school laid a vicious complaint against Speug
-and some other genial spirits for having broken one of her windows in a
-snowball fight, he made no sign and uttered no threat, but in the
-following autumn he was in a position to afford a ripe pear to each boy
-in the four upper forms--except the Dowbiggins, who declined
-politely--and to distribute a handful for a scramble among the little
-boys. There was much curiosity about the source of Peter's generosity,
-and it certainly was remarkable that the pear was of the same kind as
-the old lady cultivated with much pride, and that her fruit was gathered
-for her in the course of one dark night. Speug was capable of anything
-except telling a lie. He could swim the Tay at its broadest and almost
-at its swiftest, could ride any horse in his father's stable, could
-climb any tree in the meadows, and hold his own in every game, from
-marbles and "catch the keggie," a game based on smuggling, to football,
-where he was a very dangerous forward, and cricket, where his batting
-was fearsome for its force and obstinacy. There was nothing he could not
-do with his hands, and no one whom he was not ready to face.
-
-Speug was a very vigorous barbarian indeed, and the exact type of a
-turbulent Lowland Scot, without whom the Seminary had missed its life
-and colour, and who by sheer force of courage and strength asserted
-himself as our chief captain. After many years have passed, Speug stands
-out a figure of size and reality from among the Dowbiggins and other
-poor fleeting shadows. Thomas John, no doubt, carried off medals,
-prizes, certificates of merit, and everything else which could be
-obtained in Muirtown Seminary by a lad who played no games and swatted
-all evening at next day's work. The town was weary of seeing Thomas John
-and his brother--each wearing the same smug expression, and each in
-faultlessly neat attire--processing up in turn to receive their honours
-from the hands of the Lord Provost, and the town would cheer with
-enthusiasm when Duncan Robertson made an occasional appearance, being
-glad to escape from the oppression of the Dowbiggin _régime_. Nor was
-the town altogether wrong in refusing to appreciate the Dowbiggins at
-their own value, and declining to believe that the strength of the
-country was after their fashion. When Thomas John reached the University
-he did not altogether fulfil the expectations of his family, and by the
-time he reached the pulpit no one could endure his unredeemed dulness.
-When last I heard of him he was secretary to a blameless society which
-has for its object the discovery of the lost Ten Tribes, and it occurs
-to me that it would have been a good thing for Thomas John to have been
-blown up in the destruction of the Redan: he might have become a man.
-
-After the Seminary had done its best for Speug he retired upon his
-laurels and went to assist his father in the business of horsedealing,
-to which he brought an invincible courage and a large experience in
-bargaining. For years his old fellow-scholars saw him breaking in young
-horses on the roads round Muirtown, and he covered himself with glory in
-a steeplechase open to all the riders of Scotland. When Mr. McGuffie
-senior was killed by an Irish mare, Peter sold the establishment and
-went into foreign parts in search of adventure, reappearing at intervals
-of five years from Australia, Texas, the Plate, Cape of Good Hope,
-assured and reckless as ever, but always straightforward, masterful,
-open-handed, and gallant. His exploits are over now, and all England
-read his last, how he sent on in safety a settler's household through a
-narrow pass in Matabele Land, and with a handful of troopers held the
-savages in check until pursuit was vain.
-
-"From the account of prisoners we learn," wrote the war correspondent,
-"that Captain McGuffie, of the Volunteer Horse, fought on after his men
-had been all killed and his last cartridge fired. With his back to a
-rock in a narrow place he defended himself with such skill and courage
-that the Matabele declared him the best fighting man they had ever met,
-and he was found with a mound of dead at his feet." Only last week two
-Seminary men were reading that account together and recalling Peter, and
-such is the inherent wickedness of human nature, that the death (from
-apoplexy) of Thomas John Dowbiggin would have been much less lamented.
-"That is just how Speug would have liked to die, for he dearly loved a
-fight and knew not fear." They revived the ancient memories of Peter's
-boyhood, and read the despatch of the commanding officer, with his
-reference to the gallant service of Captain McGuffie, and then they
-looked at Peter's likeness in the illustrated papers, the eyes as bold
-and mischievous as ever. "Well done, Speug!" said a doctor of
-divinity--may he be forgiven!--"well done, Speug, a terrier of the old
-Scots breed."
-
-Peter's one rival in the idolatry of the school was Duncan Ronald
-Stewart Robertson, commonly known as Dunc, and Dunc was in everything
-except honesty, generosity, and courage, the exact opposite of Peter
-McGuffie. Robertson's ancestors had been lairds of Tomnahurich, a moor
-in Rannoch, with half a dozen farms, since the Deluge, as they believed,
-and certainly since history began. For hundreds of years they had been
-warriors, fighting other clans, fighting among themselves, fighting for
-Prince Charlie, and for more than a century fighting for England as
-officers in the Highland regiments. The present laird had been in the
-Crimean war and the Mutiny, besides occasional expeditions, and was
-colonel of the Perthshire Buffs. When he came to our examination in full
-uniform, having first inspected the local garrison on the meadow, it was
-the greatest day in our time. We cheered him when he came in, counting
-the medals on his breast, amidst which we failed not to notice the
-Victoria Cross. We cheered him in the class-rooms, we cheered him when
-he mounted his horse outside and rode along the terrace, and Peter led a
-detachment by the back way up to Breadalbane Street to give him one
-cheer more. Robertson was a tall, well-knit, athletic lad, with red
-hair, blue eyes, and a freckled face, not handsome, but carrying himself
-with much dignity and grace. Speug always appeared in tight-fitting
-trousers, as became Mr. McGuffie's son, but Robertson wore the kilt and
-never looked anything else but a gentleman, yet his kilt was ever of the
-shabbiest, and neither had his bonnet any tails. His manners were those
-of his blood, but a freer and heartier and more harum-scarum fellow
-never lived. It is a pleasant remembrance, after many years, to see
-again a group of lads round the big fire in the winter time, and to hear
-Duncan Robertson read the stirring ballad, "How Horatius kept the bridge
-in the brave days of old," till Peter can contain himself no longer, and
-proposes that a select band shall go instantly to McIntyre's Academy and
-simply compel a conflict. Dunc went into his father's regiment and fell
-at Tel-el-Kebir, and there is one Seminary man at least who keeps the
-portraits of the two captains--Peter McGuffie, the Scot, the
-horsedealer's son, and a very vulgar varlet indeed, and Duncan
-Robertson, the Celt, a well-born man's son, and a gentleman himself from
-head to foot--in remembrance of a school which was rough and
-old-fashioned, where, indeed, softness and luxury were impossible, but
-where men were made who had the heart in them to live and die for their
-country.
-
-
-
-
-BULLDOG
-
-II
-
-
-The headmaster of a certain great English school is accustomed to
-enlarge in private on the secret of boy management, and this is the sum
-of his wisdom--Be kind to the boy, and he will despise you; put your
-foot on his neck, and he will worship you. This deliverance must, of
-course, as its eminent author intends, be read with sense, and with any
-modification it must be disappointing to philanthropists, but it is
-confirmed by life. Let a master, not very strong in character and
-scholarship, lay himself out to be a boy's friend--using affectionate
-language, overseeing his health, letting him off impositions, sparing
-the rod, and inciting him to general benevolence--and the boy will
-respond, without any doubt, but it will be after his own fashion. The
-boy will take that master's measure with extraordinary rapidity; he will
-call him by some disparaging nickname, with an unholy approximation to
-truth; he will concoct tricky questions to detect his ignorance; he will
-fling back his benefits with contempt; he will make his life a misery,
-and will despise him as long as he lives. Let a man of masculine
-character and evident ability set himself to rule and drill boys,
-holding no unnecessary converse with them, working them to the height of
-their powers, insisting on the work being done, not fearing to punish
-with severity, using terrible language on occasion, dealing with every
-boy alike without favour or partiality, giving rare praise with
-enthusiasm, and refraining always from mocking sarcasm--which boys hate
-and never forgive--and he will have his reward. They will rage against
-him in groups on the playing-fields and as they go home in companies,
-but ever with an intense appreciation of his masterliness; they will
-recall with keen enjoyment his detection of sneaks and his severity on
-prigs; they will invent a name for him to enshrine his achievements, and
-pass it down to the generation following; they will dog his steps on the
-street with admiration, all the truer because mingled with awe. And the
-very thrashings of such a man will be worth the having, and become the
-subject of boasting in after years.
-
-There was a master once in Muirtown Seminary whose career was short and
-inglorious, as well as very disappointing to those who believed in the
-goodness of the boy. Mr. Byles explained to Mrs. Dowbiggin his idea of a
-schoolmaster's duty, and won the heart of that estimable person,
-although the Doctor maintained an instructive silence, and afterwards
-hinted to his spouse that Mr. Byles had not quite grasped the boy
-nature, at least in Muirtown.
-
-"Yes, Mrs. Dowbiggin, I have always had a love for boys--for I was the
-youngest of our family, and the rest were girls--seven dear girls,
-gentle and sweet. They taught me sympathy. And don't you think that
-boys, as well as older people, are ruled by kindness and not by force?
-When I remember how I was treated, I feel this is how other boys would
-wish to be treated. Muffins? Buttered, if you please. I dote on muffins!
-So I am a schoolmaster."
-
-"You are needed at the Seminary, Mr. Byles, I can tell you, for the
-place is just a den of savages! Will you believe me, that a boy rolled
-James on the ground till he was like a clay cat yesterday--and James is
-so particular about being neat!--and when I complained to Mr. MacKinnon,
-he laughed in my face and told me that it would do the laddie good?
-There's a master for you! Thomas John tells me that he is called
-'Bulldog,' and although I don't approve of disrespect, I must say it is
-an excellent name for Mr. MacKinnon. And I've often said to the Doctor,
-'If the masters are like that, what can you expect of the boys?'"
-
-"Let us hope, Mrs. Dowbiggin, that there will soon be some improvement;
-and it will not be my fault if there isn't. What I want to be is not a
-master, but the boys' friend, to whom the boys will feel as to a mother,
-to whom they will confide their difficulties and trials," and Mr. Byles'
-face had a soft, tender, far-away look.
-
-It was only for one winter that he carried on his mission, but it
-remains a green and delectable memory with old boys of the Seminary. How
-he would not use the cane, because it brutalised boys, as he explained,
-but kept Peter McGuffie in for an hour, during which time he
-remonstrated with Peter for his rude treatment of James Dowbiggin, whom
-he had capsized over a form, and how Peter's delighted compatriots
-climbed up one by one to the window and viewed him under Mr. Byles'
-ministrations with keen delight, while Speug imitated to them by signs
-that they would have to pay handsomely for their treat. How he would
-come on Jock Howieson going home in a heavy rain, and ostentatiously
-refusing even to button his coat, and would insist on affording him the
-shelter of an umbrella, to Jock's intense humiliation, who knew that
-Peter was following with derisive criticism. How, by way of
-conciliation, Mr. Byles would carry sweets in his coat-tail pocket and
-offer them at unsuitable times to the leading anarchists, who regarded
-this imbecility as the last insult. It is now agreed that Mr. Byles'
-sudden resignation was largely due to an engineering feat of Peter's,
-who had many outrages to avenge, and succeeded in attaching no less
-than three squibs to the good man's desk; but it is likely that an
-exhortation from Bulldog, overheard by the delighted school, had its due
-effect.
-
-"Humanity or no humanity, my man, it's no peppermint drops nor pats on
-the head that'll rule Muirtown birkies; their fathers were brought up on
-the stick, and the stick'll make the sons men. If ye'll take my advice,
-Mr. Byles, adverteese for a situation in a lassies' school. Ye're ower
-dainty for Muirtown Seminary."
-
-This was not a charge which his worst enemy could bring against Mr.
-Dugald MacKinnon, and because he was the very opposite--a most
-unflinching, resolute, iron man--he engraved himself on the hearts of
-three generations of Muirtown men. They were a dour, hard-headed,
-enterprising lot--a blend from the upland braes of Drumtochty and the
-stiff carse of Gowrie and the Celts of Lock Tay, with some good south
-country stuff--and there are not many big cities on either side of the
-Atlantic where two or three Muirtown men cannot this day be found. They
-always carry in their hearts the "Fair City"--which lieth in a basin
-among the hills, beside the clean, swift-running river, like a Scots
-Florence; and they grow almost eloquent when they start upon their home,
-but the terminus of recollection is ever the same. When they have
-dallied with the swimming in the Tay, and the climbing of the hill which
-looks down on the fair plain as far as Dundee, and the golf on the
-meadows, and the mighty snow fights in days where there were men (that
-is, boys) in the land, and memory is fairly awake, some one suddenly
-says, "Bulldog." "Ah!" cries another, with long-drawn pleasure, as one
-tasting a delicate liquor; and "Bulldog," repeats the third, as if a
-world of joy lay in the word. They rest for a minute, bracing
-themselves, and then conversation really begins, and being excited, they
-drop into the Scots tongue.
-
-"Man," hurries in the first, "a' see him stannin' at his desk in the
-mornin' watchin' the laddies comin' in ower the top o' his spectacles,
-an' juist considerin' wha wud be the better o' a bit thrashin' that
-day."
-
-"Sax feet high gin he wes an inch," bursts in the second, "an' as
-straight as a rush, though a'm thinkin' he wes seventy, or maybe eighty,
-some threipit (insisted) he was near ninety; an' the een o' him--div ye
-mind, lads, hoo they gied back an' forward in his head--oscillatin'
-like? Sall, they were fearsome."
-
-"An' the rush to get in afore the last stroke o' nine"--the third man
-cannot be restrained--"an' the crack o' his cane on the desk an'
-'Silence'; man, ye micht hae heard a moose cross the floor at the
-prayer."
-
-"Div ye think he keekit oot atween his eyelids, Jock?"
-
-"Him? nae fear o't," and Howieson is full of contempt. "Ae day I pit a
-peen into that smooth-faced wratch Dowbiggin, juist because I cudna
-bear the look o' him; an' if he didna squeal like a stuck pig. Did
-Bulldog open his een an' look?"
-
-The audience has no remembrance of such a humiliating descent.
-
-"Na, na," resumes Jock, "he didna need; he juist repeated the first
-sentence o' the prayer ower again in an awfu' voice, an' aifter it wes
-dune, doon he comes to me. 'Whatna prank wes that?'"
-
-"Wes't nippy?" inquires Bauldie with relish, anticipating the sequel.
-
-"Michty," replies Jock; "an' next he taks Dowbiggin. 'Who asked you to
-join in the prayer?' an' ye cud hae heard his yowls on the street.
-Bulldog hed a fine stroke." And the three smoked in silent admiration
-for a space.
-
-"Sandie, div ye mind the sins in the prayer? 'Lord deliver the laddies
-before Thee from lying----'"
-
-"'Cheating,'" breaks in Bauldie.
-
-"'Cowardice,'" adds Sandie.
-
-"'And laziness, which are as the devil,'" completes Jock.
-
-"An' the laist petition, a' likit it fine, 'Be pleased to put common
-sense in their heads, and Thy fear in their hearts, and----'"
-
-"'Give them grace to be honest men all the days of their life,'" chant
-the other two together.
-
-"It wes a purpose-like prayer, an' a' never heard a better, lads; he
-walkit up to his words, did Bulldog, an' he did his wark well." And as
-they thought of that iron age, the railway president and the big banker
-and the corn merchant--for that is what the fellows have come to--smack
-their lips with relish and kindly regret.
-
-It may be disappointing, but it remains a fact, that the human history
-of the ages is repeated in the individual, and the natural boy is a
-savage, with the aboriginal love of sport, hardy indifference to
-circumstances, stoical concealment of feelings, irrepressible passion
-for fighting, unfeigned admiration for strength, and slavish respect for
-the strong man. By-and-by he will be civilised and Christianised, and
-settle down, will become considerate, merciful, peaceable--will be
-concerned about his own boys having wet feet, and will preside at
-meetings for the prevention of cruelty to animals; but he has to go
-through his process of barbarism. During this Red Indian stage a
-philanthropist is not the ideal of the boy. His master must have the
-qualities of a brigand chief, an autocratic will, a fearless mien, and
-an iron hand. On the first symptom of mutiny he must draw a pistol from
-his belt (one of twenty), and shoot the audacious rebel dead on the
-spot. So perfectly did Bulldog fulfil this ideal that Bauldie, who had
-an unholy turn for caricature, once drew him in the costume and arms of
-Chipanwhackewa, an Indian chief of prodigious valour and marvellous
-exploits. This likeness was passed from hand to hand, to be arrested
-and confiscated by its subject when in Jock Howieson's possession, and
-although Jock paid the penalty, as was most due, yet it was believed
-that Bulldog was much pleased by the tribute, and that he kept the
-picture in his desk.
-
-His achievements in his own field, which extended from the supervision
-of handwriting to instruction in mathematics, were sustained and
-marvellous. When a boy was committed to his care at or about the age of
-eight, before which age he attended a girls' school and fed his
-imagination on what was in store for him under Bulldog, the great man
-wrote at the head of his copy-book, in full text and something better
-than copper-plate, "He that spareth his rod hateth his son." With this
-animating sentiment the neophyte made a fearful beginning, and his
-master assisted him to transcribe it for years to come through half text
-and small text, till he could accomplish it with such delicate
-up-strokes and massive down-strokes, such fine curves and calculated
-distances, that the writing could hardly be distinguished from the
-original, and might be exhibited to the Lord Provost and bailies at the
-annual examination. It is said now that no school of any name in the
-land would condescend to teach writing, and that boys coming from such
-high places can compass their own signatures with difficulty, and are
-quite illegible after a gentlemanly fashion; but it was otherwise in one
-old grammar school. So famous was the caligraphy produced at the
-Seminary that Muirtown bankers, lawyers, and other great personages used
-to drop in of an afternoon, and having snuffed with the master, would go
-over the copy-books and pick out suitable lads for their offices. And it
-is a solemn fact that one enterprising Muirtown clerk went up to London
-without a single introduction and obtained a situation in the great firm
-of Brancker, Copleston, Goldbeater & Co., on the strength of a letter
-and sheet of figures he sent to old Fyler, the manager, whose reason was
-giving way under the scrawling of the junior clerks. Bulldog considered
-that his pupils' handwriting steadily deteriorated from the day of their
-departure. When they came to see him at school from Glasgow, London, and
-beyond the sea, as they all did, on their visits to Muirtown, besides
-giving them an affectionate welcome, which began at the door and ended
-at the desk, he never failed to produce their letters and point out the
-decadence in careful detail, while the school rejoiced greatly.
-
-Any lad who showed some aptitude, or whose father insisted on the higher
-education, was allured into geometry and raised to the dignity of the
-blackboard, where he did his work in face of the school with fear and
-trembling. This was public life, and carried extremes of honour and
-disgrace. When Willie Pirie appeared at the board--who is now a
-Cambridge don of such awful learning that his juniors, themselves
-distinguished persons, can only imagine where he is in pure
-mathematics--the school, by tacit permission, suspended operations to
-see the performance. As Willie progressed, throwing in an angle here and
-a circle there, and utilising half the alphabet for signs, while he
-maintained the reasoning from point to point in his high, shrill voice,
-Bulldog stood a pace aside, a pointer in one hand and in the other a
-cloth with which at a time he would wipe his forehead till it was white
-with chalk, and his visage was glorious to behold. When the end came,
-Bulldog would seize the word out of Pirie's mouth and shout, "Q. E. D.,
-Q ... E ... D. Splendid. Did ye follow that, laddies?" taking snuff
-profusely, with the cloth under one arm and the pointer under the other.
-"William Pirie, ye'll be a wrangler if ye hae grace o' continuance.
-Splendid!"
-
-It was otherwise when Jock Howieson tried to indicate the nature of an
-isosceles triangle and confused it with a square, supporting his
-artistic efforts with remarks which reduced all the axioms of Euclid to
-one general ruin. For a while the master explained and corrected, then
-he took refuge in an ominous silence, after which, at each new
-development, he played on Jock with the pointer, till Jock, seeing him
-make for the cane, modestly withdrew, but did not reach his place of
-retreat without assistance and much plain truth.
-
-"It's a shame to take any fee from your father, Jock Howieson, and it's
-little use trying to give ye any education. Ye've the thickest head and
-the least sense in all the schule. Man, they should take you home and
-set ye on eggs to bring out chickens; ye micht manage that wi' care. The
-first three propositions, Jock, before ye leave this room, without a
-slip, or _ma certes_!" and Jock understood that if he misused his time
-his instructor would make good use of his.
-
-It was Bulldog's way to promenade the empty schoolroom for ten minutes
-before the reassembling at two, and it was rare indeed that a boy should
-be late. When one afternoon there were only nineteen present and
-forty-three absent, he could only look at Dowbiggin, and when that
-exemplary youth explained that the school had gone up to the top of the
-Meadow for a bathe, and suggested they were still enjoying themselves,
-Bulldog was much lifted.
-
-"Bathing is a healthy exercise, and excellent for the mind, but it's
-necessary to bring a glow to the skin aifterwards, or there micht be a
-chill," and he searched out and felt a superior cane kept for the
-treatment of truants and other grievous offenders.
-
-It was exactly 2.15 when the door opened and a procession of forty-two
-entered panting and breathless, headed by Dunc Robertson, who carried
-his head erect, with a light in his eye, and closed by Peter, whose hair
-was like unto that of a drowned rat, and whose unconcealed desire was
-for obscurity. The nineteen could only smack their lips with
-expectation and indicate by signs the treat awaiting their comrades.
-
-"I've had chairge of the departments of writing, arithmetic, and
-mathematics in the Muirtown Seminary," began Bulldog, "for fifty-five
-years laist Martinmas, and near eighteen hundred laddies hae passed
-through my hands. Some o' them were gude and some were bad"--Mr.
-MacKinnon spoke with a judicial calmness that was awful--"some were yir
-grandfathers, some were yir fathers; but such a set of impudent,
-brazen-faced little scoundrels----" Then his composure failed him as he
-looked at the benches. "What have ye got to say for yirselves, for it
-will be three weeks afore I'm over ye all?"
-
-For a while no one moved, and then Dunc Robertson rose in his place and
-made speech for his fellows like a gentleman's son.
-
-"We are sorry for being late, sir, but it was not our blame; we had been
-bathing in the golfers' pool, and were dressing to run down to school in
-good time. Little Nestie--I mean Ernest Molyneux, sir--had stayed in a
-little longer, and someone cried, 'Nestie's drowning!' and there the
-little chap was, being carried away by the current."
-
-"Is 'Nestie'--drowned?" and they all noticed the break in Bulldog's
-voice, and remembered that if he showed indulgence to anyone it was to
-the little English lad that had appeared in Muirtown life as one out of
-due place.
-
-"No, sir, Nestie's safe, and some women have taken him home; but he was
-very nearly gone," and Dunc was plainly shaken. "He's a good ween man,
-and--and it would have been terrible to see him die before our eyes."
-
-"Who saved Nestie?" Bulldog's face was white, and Jock swore afterwards
-the tears were in his eyes--but that we did not believe.
-
-"It was one of the boys, sir"--Robertson's voice was very proud--"and it
-was a gallant deed; but I can't give his name, because he made me
-promise not to tell."
-
-The master looked round the school, and there was a flush on his cheek.
-
-"John Howieson," with a voice that knew no refusal, and Jock stood in
-his place.
-
-"Give me the laddie's name who savit Nestie."
-
-"It was Speug, sir, an'--it wes michty; but a' wudna hae telt had ye no
-askit, an'--it's no my blame," and Jock cast a deprecatory glance where
-Peter was striving to hide himself behind a slate.
-
-"Peter McGuffie, come out this moment," and Peter, who had obeyed this
-order in other circumstances with an immovable countenance, now
-presented the face of one who had broken a till.
-
-"Tell the story, Duncan Robertson, every word of it, that each laddie in
-this room may remember it as lang as he lives."
-
-"We had nearly all dressed, and some of us had started for school ...
-and when I got back McGuffie had jumped and was out in the current
-waiting for Nestie to come up. We saw his face at last, white on the
-water, and shouted to Peter, and ... he had him in a minute, and ...
-made for shore; big swimming, sir; not one of us could have done it
-except himself. A salmon-fisher showed us how to rub Nestie till he came
-round, and ... he smiled to us, and said, 'I'm all right; sorry to
-trouble you chaps.' Then we ran down as hard as we could lick, and ...
-that's all, sir."
-
-"Ye're a leear, Duncan Robertson," suddenly broke out Speug, goaded
-beyond endurance; "ye helpit oot Nestie yirself, an' ye're ... as muckle
-tae blame as me."
-
-"All I did, sir"--and Robertson's face was burning red--"was to meet
-Peter and take Nestie off his hands quite near the bank; he had the
-danger; I ... did nothing--was too late, in fact, to be of use."
-
-Speug might have contested this barefaced attempt at exculpation, but
-Bulldog was himself again and gripped the reins of authority.
-
-"Silence!" and his emotion found vent in thunder; "no arguing in my
-presence. You're an impudent fellow, Peter McGuffie, and have been all
-your days, the most troublesome, mischievous, upsetting laddie in
-Muirtown School," and the culprit's whole mien was that of a dog with a
-bad conscience.
-
-"Ye've fought with your fists, and ye've fought with snowballs; ye've
-played truant times without number; and as for your tricks in school,
-they're beyond knowledge. And now ye must needs put the capper on the
-concern wi' this business!
-
-"There's no use denying it, Peter, for the evidence is plain"--and now
-Bulldog began to speak with great deliberation. "Ye saw a little laddie
-out of his depth and likely to be drowned." (Peter dared not lift his
-head this time; it was going to be a bad case.)
-
-"Ye micht have given the alarm and got the salmon-fishers, but, instead
-of acting like ony quiet, decent, well-brought-up laddie, and walking
-down to the school in time for the geometry" (the school believed that
-the master's eye rested on William Dowbiggin), "ye jumped clothes and
-all into the Tay." (There was evidently no extenuating feature, and
-Peter's expression was hopeless.)
-
-"Nor was that all. But the wicked speerit that's in ye, Peter McGuffie,
-made ye swim out where the river was running strongest and an
-able-bodied man wouldna care to go. And what for did ye forget yirsel
-and risk yer life?" But for the first time there was no bravery left in
-Peter to answer; his wickedness was beyond excuse, as he now felt.
-
-[Illustration: "PETER DARED NOT LIFT HIS HEAD."]
-
-"Just to save an orphan laddie frae a watery death. And ye did it,
-peter; an' it ... beats a'thing ye've dune since ye came into muirtown
-academy? as for you, duncan robertson, ye may say what ye like, but it's
-my opinion that ye're no one grain better. Peter got in first, for he's
-a perfect genius for mischief--he's aye on the spot--but ye were after
-him as soon as ye could--you're art and part, baith o' ye, in the
-exploit." it was clear now that dunc was in the same condemnation and
-would share the same reward; whereat peter's heart was lifted, for
-robertson's treachery cried to heaven for judgment.
-
-"Boys of Muirtown, do you see those tablets?"--and Bulldog pointed to
-the lists in gold of the former pupils who had distinguished themselves
-over the world--prizemen, soldiers, travellers, writers, preachers,
-lawyers, doctors. "It's a grand roll, and an honour to have a place in
-it, and there are two new names to be added.
-
-"Laddies"--and Bulldog came down from his desk and stood opposite the
-culprits, whose one wish was that the floor might open beneath them and
-swallow them up--"you are the sons of men, and I knew you had the
-beginnings of men in you. I am proud ... to shake hands with you, and to
-be ... your master. Be off this instant, run like mad to yir homes and
-change yir clothes, and be back inside half an hour, or it will be the
-worse for ye! And, look ye here, I would like to know ... how Nestie
-is."
-
-His walk through the room was always full of majesty, but on that day it
-passed imagination, and from time to time he could be heard in a
-soliloquy, "A pair of young rascals! Men of their hands, though, men of
-their hands! Their fathers' sons! Well done, Peter!" To which the
-benches listened with awe, for never had they known Bulldog after this
-fashion.
-
-When the school assembled next Monday morning the boys read in fresh,
-shining letters--
-
-"Peter McGuffie and Duncan R. S. Robertson, who at the risk of their own
-lives saved a schoolfellow from drowning."
-
-It stood before the school, so that all could see; but if anyone dared
-to make a sign in that direction as he passed Speug's desk, his life was
-not worth living for seven days, and it was felt that Speug never
-completely recovered from the moral disgrace of that day.
-
-
-
-
-NESTIE
-
-III
-
-
-It was understood that Nestie's mother was dead and that his father was
-the Baptist minister of Muirtown--a denomination whose adherents were
-few and whose practices were vaguely associated with the mill lade--and
-for two years before he appeared at school Nestie and his father were
-quite familiar to the boys. Nestie began his education at a ladies'
-school, not far from the Seminary, where he was much petted by the big
-girls, and his father could be seen waiting for him every afternoon at
-dismissal time. A gentle, timid little man, apt to blush on being spoken
-to, with a hesitating speech and a suggestion of lasting sorrow in his
-eyes, Mr. Molyneux would sooner have faced a cannon than Miss Letitia
-MacMuldrow's bevy of young women, and it was a simple fact that when,
-meditating his sermon one day in the North Meadow, he flopped into their
-midst and his son insisted on introducing him to the boarders and to
-Miss Letitia, the poor man went home to bed and left the pulpit next
-Sunday to an amateur exhorter. His plan of campaign was to arrive on
-the opposite side of the terrace about a quarter to three, and, as the
-hour drew near, reconnoitre the door from behind a clump of bushes at
-the foot of the garden. Nestie usually made his appearance with a
-bodyguard of maidens, who kissed him shamelessly, and then, catching
-sight of the anxious face peeping through the laburnums, he would dash
-down the walk and, giving his slaves a last wave, disappear round the
-corner. The minister used to take a hasty survey lest they should become
-a sport to the barbarians in a land where for a father to kiss his boy
-was synonymous with mental incapacity, and then--it was a cat of a girl
-who oversaw the meeting--they hugged one another for the space of a
-whole minute, in which time it is wonderful what can be done if your
-heart is in it and your hat is allowed to go without care. Had a
-Seminary boy seen the sight--but the savages were caged at that
-hour--his feet would have been glued to the ground with amazement, and
-he had gone away full of silent gratitude that Providence had cast his
-lot north of the Tweed; but of course he had not reckoned that the
-father and son had been separated for, say, six whole hours--or
-almost--and it was necessary to re-establish relations. When this had
-been done satisfactorily the two crossed a wooden bridge into the Meadow
-arm-in-arm--Mr. Molyneux unconsciously wearing his hat with a rakish air
-on the side of his head. Between this hour and sunset was their
-pleasure in the summer time, and the things they did were varied and
-remarkable. Sometimes they would disappear into the woods above
-Muirtown, and return home very dirty, very tired, very happy, laden with
-wild flowers and dank, earthy roots, which they planted in their tiny
-garden and watered together with tender solicitude. Other times they
-played what was supposed to be golf over a course of their own selection
-and creation at the top of the Meadow, and if by any chance the minister
-got a ball into a hole, then Nestie danced for a space and the minister
-apologised for his insolent success. Times there were--warm, summer
-days--when the minister would bring a book with him and read to Nestie
-as they lay in a grassy hollow together. And on these days they would
-fall a-talking, and it would end in a photograph being taken from a
-case, and after they had studied it together, both would kiss the face,
-which was as if Nestie had kissed himself. Regular frequenters of the
-North Meadow began to take an interest in the pair, so that the golfers
-would cry "Fore" in quite a kindly tone when they got in the way of the
-balls, and one day old Peter Peebles, the chief of the salmon-fishers
-and a man of rosy countenance, rowed them up to Woody Island, and then
-allowed the boat to drop down with the tide past the North Meadow and
-beneath the two bridges, and landed them at the South Meadow, refusing
-all recompense with fierce words. Motherly old ladies whose families
-were off their hands, and who took in the situation at a glance, used to
-engage Mr. Molyneux in conversation in order to warn him about Nestie's
-flannels and the necessity of avoiding damp at nightfall. And many who
-never spoke to them, and would have repudiated the idea of sentiment
-with scorn, had a tender heart and a sense of the tears of things as the
-pair, strange and lonely, yet contented and happy, passed them in the
-evening.
-
-When the time came that Nestie had to leave Miss Letitia's, his father
-began to hang round the Seminary taking observations, and his heart was
-heavy within him. After he had watched a scrimmage at football--a dozen
-of the aboriginal savages fighting together in a heap, a mass of legs,
-arms, heads--and been hustled across the terrace in a rush of Russians
-and English, from which he emerged without his hat, umbrella, or book,
-and after he had been eyewitness of an encounter between Jock Howieson
-and Bauldie over a misunderstanding in marbles, he offered to teach
-Nestie at home.
-
-"Those Scotch boys are very ... h-healthy, Nestie, and I am not sure
-whether you are quite ... fit for their ... habits. There is a master,
-too, called ... Bulldog, and I am afraid----" and Mr. Molyneux looked
-wistfully at his boy.
-
-"Why, pater, you are very n-naughty, and don't d-deserve two lumps of
-sugar," for ever since they were alone he had taken his mother's place
-and poured out the tea. "Do you think I am a coward? A boy must learn to
-play games, you know, and they won't be hard on a little chap at first.
-I'll soon learn f-football and ... the other things. I can play golf a
-little now. Didn't you tell me, pater, that mother was as bwave as ... a
-s-soldier?"
-
-"Of course she was, Nestie," and Mr. Molyneux fell into the innocent
-little snare. "If you had only seen the pony your mother used to ride on
-her father's farm in Essex, where I saw her first! Do you know, nobody
-could ride 'Gypsy' except its mistress. It r-reared and ... k-kicked,
-Nestie"--the little man spoke with awe--"and once ran away; but your
-mother could always manage it. She looked so handsome on 'Gypsy'; and
-you have her spirit. I'm very ... t-timid."
-
-"No, you aren't, not one little bit, pater, if there's real d-danger."
-Nestie was now on his father's knee, with a hand round his neck. "Who
-faced the cow on the meadows when she was charging, and the nurse had
-left the child, eh? Now, pater, tell the truth."
-
-"That was because ... the poor little man would have been killed ...
-anyone would have d-done that, and ... I d-did not think what I was
-d-doing...."
-
-"Yes, I know," and Nestie mocked his father shamefully, even unto his
-face; "and everybody read in the paper how the child wasn't near the
-cow, and the cow was quite nice and well-behaved, and you ... ran away;
-for shame, now!
-
-"Did you go to the people that had the dip ... dip ... in the throat, or
-not?--that's a word I can't manage yet, but I heard Miss Leti-titia and
-the girls say you were like the soldiers 'at got the Vic--Victoria
-Cwoss."
-
-"That's d-different, Nestie; that's my d-duty."
-
-"Well, it's my d-duty to go to the S-Seminary, pater;" and so he went.
-
-"What's your name?" Nestie was standing in the centre of the large
-entrance hall where his father had left him, a neat, slim little figure
-in an Eton suit and straw hat, and the walls were lined by big lads in
-kilts, knickers, tweed suits, and tailless Highland bonnets in various
-stages of roughness and decay.
-
-"Ernest Molyneux, and for short, Nestie," and he looked round with a
-bright little smile, although inwardly very nervous.
-
-"Moly-havers," retorted Cosh, who had a vague sense that Nestie, with
-his finished little manner, his English accent, his unusual dress, and
-his high-sounding name, was an offence to the Seminary. "Get yir hat oot
-o' there," and Cosh sent Ernest's straw skimming into the forbidden
-"well."
-
-Molyneux's face turned crimson, for he had inherited the temper which
-mistressed "Gypsy," and boys who remembered Speug's first exploit
-expected to see the newcomer spring at Cosh's face.
-
-"You mean that for f-fun, I s'pose," he said an instant later, and he
-recovered his hat very neatly. "I can leap a little, you know, not
-m-much yet," and again he smiled round the ring.
-
-Nothing quite like this had happened before in the Seminary, and there
-was a pause in the proceedings, which was the salvation of Nestie, and
-far more of Peter McGuffie. He had been arrested by the first sight of
-Nestie and had been considering the whole situation in silence. Peter
-had a sudden inspiration.
-
-"Did ye say Nestie?" inquired Speug, with an almost kindly accent,
-moving a little forward as for purposes of identification.
-
-"My pater calls me that, and ... others did, but perhaps you would like
-to say Molyneux. What is your name?"
-
-"We 'ill call ye 'Nestie'; it's no an ill word, an' it runs on the
-tongue. Ma name is Peter McGuffie, or Speug, an' gin onybody meddle wi'
-ye gie's a cry." And to show the celerity of his assistance Peter sent
-the remains of Cosh's bonnet into the "well" just as Bulldog came down
-to his room.
-
-"Bulldog's in," as that estimable man identified the owner of the bonnet
-and passed on to his class-room. "In aifter him, an' gie yir name, afore
-the schule comes."
-
-"Will you come with me, P-Peter?" and that worthy followed him
-mechanically, while the school held their breath; "it would be kind of
-you to intwodoosh--it's a little difficult that word--me to the
-master."
-
-"What's the meaning of this?" demanded Bulldog at the sight of the two,
-for speech was paralysed in Speug and he was aghast at his own audacity.
-
-"A new laddie ... ca'ed Molly, Mol ... a' canna mind it ... Nestie ...
-he dinna know the way...." And Speug broke down and cast a despairing
-look at the cane.
-
-"Peter pwotected me from the other boys, who were making fun of me, and
-I asked him to bwing me in to you, sir; he was very p-polite."
-
-"Was he?" said Bulldog, regarding Speug's confusion with unconcealed
-delight; "that is quite his public character in this school, and there's
-nobody better known. My advice"--here Bulldog stopped, and looked from
-Speug to Nestie as one who was about to say something and had changed
-his mind--"is to ... be friends with Peter."
-
-So when the school took their places Nestie was seated next to Speug,
-and it was understood in a week that Nestie was ready to take his fair
-share in any honest fun that was going, but that if one of the baser
-sort tried to play the blackguard with Nestie, he had to balance
-accounts with Speug, and that the last farthing would be faithfully
-exacted.
-
-As Nestie had at once settled in his mind that Speug was a young
-gentleman of high conduct and excellent manners--and Nestie, with all
-his sweetness, was as obstinate as a mule--nothing remained for Speug
-but to act as far as he could up to his new character. With this example
-of diligence by his side, he was roused to such exertion that he emerged
-from long division and plunged into the rule of three, while Nestie
-marvelled at his accomplishments--"for I'm not a clever chap like you,
-P-Peter." Speug had also accumulated a considerable collection of pencil
-sketches, mostly his own, in which life at Muirtown Seminary was treated
-very broadly indeed, and as he judged this portfolio unlikely to be
-appreciated by Nestie, and began himself to have some scruple in having
-his own name connected with it, it was consigned to the flames, and any
-offer of an addition, which boys made to Speug as a connoisseur in
-Rabelaisean art, was taken as a ground of offence. His personal habits
-had been negligent to a fault, and Nestie was absurdly careful about his
-hands, so Peter was reduced to many little observances he had
-overlooked, and would indeed have exposed himself to scathing criticism
-had it not been that his sense of humour was limited and, so far as it
-went, of a markedly practical turn.
-
-As Nestie never ceased to exalt this paladin of chivalry, and all the
-virtues which he had discovered at school, Mr. Molyneux hungered to see
-him, and so Speug was invited to tea on a Saturday evening--an
-invitation he accepted with secret pride and outward confusion of face.
-All the time which could be saved that day from the sermons was devoted
-by Mr. Molyneux and his son to the commissariat, and it was pretty to
-see the Molyneuxs going from shop to shop collecting the feast. With
-much cunning Nestie had drawn from Speug that fried sausages (pork) with
-mashed potatoes, followed up by jam tarts and crowned with (raisin)
-cake, was a meal to live for, and all this they had, with shortbread and
-marmalade, thrown in as relishes. When Nestie was not watching at the
-upper window for Peter's coming he was gloating over the table, and
-pater, putting last touches to his exposure of Infant Baptism, ran out
-and in to see that nothing had been forgotten, for they did not give
-many feasts, and this was one of gratitude. Peter was late, because he
-had gathered his whole establishment to dress him, including the old
-groom, who wished him to go in corduroy breeches and top boots, and
-Speug was polished to the extent of shining. He was also so modest that
-he would not speak, nor even look, and when Nestie began to discourse on
-his goodness he cast glances at the door and perspired visibly, on which
-occasions he wiped his forehead with a large red handkerchief. Amid all
-his experiences on land and water, on horseback and among boys--_i. e._,
-savages--he had never yet been exalted as a hero and a philanthropist,
-and he felt uncomfortable in his clothes. He was induced, however, to
-trifle with the tea, and in the end did very fairly, regaining his
-native composure so far as to describe a new horse his father had
-bought, and the diabolical wickedness of the tame fox at the stables.
-Afterwards Nestie took Speug to his room and showed him his various
-treasures--a writing-desk with a secret drawer; _The Sandalwood Traders_
-by Ballantyne; a box of real tools, with nails and tacks complete; and
-then he uncovered something hidden in a case, whereat Speug was utterly
-astonished.
-
-"Yes, it's a watch; my mother left it to me, and some day I'll wear it,
-you know; your mother's g-gone, too, Peter, isn't she?"
-
-"Aye," replied Peter, "but a' dinna mind o' her." And then, anxious to
-change the subject, he produced a new knife with six blades. Before
-leaving he promised to give Nestie a pair of rabbits, and to guide him
-in their upbringing after a proper fashion. Without having ventured into
-the field of sentiment, there is no doubt Peter had carried himself in a
-way to satisfy Mr. Molyneux, and he himself gave such an account of the
-tea to Mr. McGuffie senior, that night, that the horsedealer, although
-not given to Pharisaical observance of the Sabbath, attended the little
-Baptist chapel next day in state, sleeping through the sermon, but
-putting five shillings in the plate, while Peter, sitting most demurely
-at his father's side, identified two of his enemies of McIntyre's
-Academy and turned various things over in his mind.
-
-If anyone, however, supposed that the spirit had gone out of Peter
-through his friendship with Nestie, he erred greatly, and this Robert
-Cosh learned to his cost. What possessed him no one could guess, and
-very likely he did not know himself, but he must needs waylay Nestie in
-Breadalbane Street one day after schooltime and speak opprobriously to
-him, finishing up--
-
-"Awa' wi' ye; yir father's a meeserable yammering (stammering) dookie
-(Baptist) minister."
-
-"My father's one of the best men living"--Nestie was in an honourable
-temper--"and you are an ill-bred c-cad."
-
-Poor Nestie would have been half-killed before Cosh had done with him
-had not Speug arrived on the scene, having been in the gundy (candy)
-shop not far off, and then there were circumstances. Cosh had a poor
-chance at any time with Peter, but now that worthy's arm was nerved with
-fierce indignation, and Nestie had to beg for mercy for Cosh, whose
-appearance on arriving home was remarkable. His story was even more so,
-and was indeed so affecting, not to say picturesque, that Bailie Cosh
-came into Bulldog's room with his son two days afterwards to settle
-matters.
-
-"A' called, Maister MacKinnon," he said, in tones charged with dignity,
-"to explain the cause of my son Robert's absence; he was in bed with a
-poultice on his face twenty-four hours, an' he'll no be himself for
-days."
-
-[Illustration: "'YOU ARE AN ILL-BRED C-CAD.'"]
-
-"He is no in condeetion to lose time wi' his lessons, a' can tell ye,
-Bailie; ye're richt to bring him back as sune as ye could; was't
-toothache?"
-
-"No, it wasna toothache, but the ill-usage o' one of your scholars, the
-maist impudent, ill-doing, aggravating scoondrel in Muirtown."
-
-"Peter McGuffie, come out here," which showed Bulldog's practical
-acquaintance with affairs. "Did ye give Robert Cosh a licking?"
-
-No answer from Speug, but a look of satisfaction that was beyond all
-evidence.
-
-"Was that just yir natural iniquity, Peter, or had ye a justification?"
-
-Dogged silence of Speug, whose code of honour had one article at
-least--never to tell on a fellow.
-
-"Please, sir, may I speak?" cried Nestie, as he saw the preparations for
-Peter's punishment and could not contain himself.
-
-"Were you in this job, too, Nestie? You didn't tell me that there were
-two at puir Robert, Bailie; if Nestie got his hand on your son, he's sic
-a veeciously inclined character that it's a wonder Robert's leevin.'
-
-"Now, Bailie, we'll conduct a judeecial investigation. Robert Cosh, what
-have ye to say? Speak up like a man, an' I'll see justice done ye, be
-sure o' that; but mind ye, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but
-the truth."
-
-Robert Cosh declined to contribute even the smallest morsel of truth in
-any shape or form, and, in spite of strong encouragement from the
-magistrate, preserved an impenetrable silence.
-
-"This," said Bulldog, with a shrewd glance, "is mair than ordinary
-modesty; we 'ill take another witness. Ernest Molyneux, what have ye got
-to say?"
-
-"Cosh called my father names, and ... I lost my t-temper, and ... and
-... I said things ... the pater's ill, sir, so I ... and Cosh stwuck me
-once or twice--but I don't mind that; only Peter, you see, sir, wanted
-to help me. I'm afraid he h-hurtit Cosh, but that was how it happened."
-
-"Stand beside Nestie, Cosh ... so; half a head taller and much broader
-and four years older. Ye called his father names, and then cut his lip
-when he answered. Just so. There are some pretty little scratches on yir
-own face. That would be Peter. Well, Bailie, the case is pretty plain,
-and we 'ill go to judgment.
-
-"Ernest Molyneux, yir father's a good man, and it does not matter two
-brass peens what Robert Cosh says about him, and ye're no an
-ill-disposed laddie yersel.' Ye may go to your seat.
-
-"Peter McGuffie, ye're aye meddlin' wi' what doesna concern ye, and ye
-seem to think that Providence gave Nestie into yir chairge. One day ye
-pull him oot o' the river, and anither ye take him oot o' the hands o'
-Robert Cosh. But ye've done your wark sae neatly this time that I havena
-the heart to thrash ye. Ye may go to your seat, too; and, Peter, ma
-man, just one word of advice. Yir head is thick, but yir heart is richt;
-see that ye always use yir fists as well as ye did that day.
-
-"Robert Cosh, ye've had a fair trial, and ye have been convicted of
-three heinous sins. First, ye miscalled a good man--for that three
-strokes with the cane; next, ye ill-used the quietest laddie in the
-whole school--for that three strokes; and, lastly, being moved of the
-devil, ye went home and told lies to a magistrate--for that six strokes.
-Three on each hand to-day and to-morrow will just settle the count.
-Right hand first."
-
-"Mr. MacKinnon, I protest...."
-
-"What?" and Bulldog turned on the magistrate; "would ye interfere with
-the course o' justice in another man's jureesdiction, and you a
-magistrate?" And Bulldog's eyes began to rotate in a fearsome manner.
-
-The Bailie allowed it to be understood that he had changed his mind, and
-Robert, who had expected great things from the magistrate's protection,
-abandoned himself to despair and walked humbly for many days to come.
-
-Next day Nestie was not in his place, and Bulldog, growing uneasy,
-called on his way home.
-
-"Aye, aye," and the landlady's voice sank into the minor key of Scots
-sympathy, "Maister Mollynoox (for such an outlandish name was ever a
-trial) is far through wi't; the doctor says he never had much to come
-an' go on, and noo this whup o' inflammation is the feenish.
-
-"The doctor doesna expect him to see mornin', an' he's verra sober
-(weak); but his head's clear, an' the laddie's wi' him. Ma hert is wae
-(sorry) for him, for the twa hev been that bund up thegither that a'm
-dootin' Nestie 'ill never get ower the pairtin'."
-
-The gentle little minister was not far from his end, and Nestie was
-nursing him as best he could. He sponged his father's face--threatening
-to let the soap get into his eyes if he were not obedient--and dried it
-with a soft towel; then he brushed the soft, thin brown hair slowly and
-caressingly, as he had often done on Sundays when his father was weary.
-Turning round, he saw Bulldog, and instead of being afraid, Nestie
-smiled a pathetic welcome, which showed either what a poor actor the
-master was, with all his canings, or that his English scholar was a very
-shrewd little man.
-
-"Th-thank you f-for coming to see father, sir; he was n-naughty and got
-cold, and he has been so ill; but he must get better, for you know there
-are ... just the two of us, and ... I would be ... lonely without the
-pater."
-
-"Nestie does not wish to part with me, Mr. MacKinnon, for we h-have been
-... dear friends, that's how it was, and we loved ... mother; but he is
-a ... brave little man, as you know, and mother and I will not forget
-him ... you came to ask for Nestie, and it was God's will, for I h-have
-a f-favour to ask of you."
-
-Bulldog went over and sat down by the bed, but said nothing. Only he
-took the minister's hand in his and waited. He also put his other arm
-round Nestie, and never did he look fiercer.
-
-"I have no relatives, and his m-mother's family are all dead; there is
-nobody to be g-guardian to Nestie, and he cannot live alone. C-could you
-get some family who would be ... where he might be at ... h-home?
-
-"You know we are not rich, but we've s-saved a little, for Nestie is a
-famous little house-k-keeper; and maybe there's enough to keep him ...
-till he grows big; and I'll give you the receipt at the bank, and you'll
-... manage for him, won't you?"
-
-Bulldog cleared his throat to speak, but could not find his voice--for a
-wonder, but his hand tightened on the minister's, and he drew Nestie
-nearer to him.
-
-"Of course, Mr. MacKinnon, I know that we have no c-claim on you, for we
-are strangers in Muirtown, and you ... have many boys. But you've been
-kind to Nestie, and he ... loves you."
-
-The minister stopped, breathless, and closed his eyes.
-
-"Mr. Molyneux," began Bulldog in a stern voice, "I'm willing to manage
-Nestie's estate, big or small, and I'll give an account of all
-intromissions to the Court, but I must decline to look out a home for
-Nestie.
-
-"Nestie and me" (bad grammar has its uses, and some of them are very
-comforting) "are good freends. My house has just an auld schoolmaster
-and an housekeeper in it, and whiles we would like to hear a young
-voice."
-
-Bulldog paused and then went on, his voice sterner than ever--in sound.
-
-"Now Bell's bark is worse than her bite, and maybe so is mine (Nestie
-nodded), so if the wee man wouldna be feared to live wi' ...
-Bulldog--oh, I know fine what the rascals call me--he 'ill have a heart
-welcome, and ... I'll answer to ye baith, father and mother, for yir
-laddie at the Day o' Judgment."
-
-"'What shall I render ... unto the Lord ... for all His benefits?' I
-cannot thank you ... (the minister was now very weak); but you will not
-... miss your reward. May the God of the orphan.... Kiss me, Nestie."
-
-For a short while he slept, and they watched for any sign of
-consciousness.
-
-"It was too soon"--he was speaking, but not to them--"for Nestie ... to
-come, Maud; he must stay ... at school. He is a good boy, and ... his
-master will ... take care of him ... Nestie will grow to be a man,
-dear."
-
-The minister was nearing the other side, and seeing the face he loved
-and had lost awhile.
-
-"It's mother," whispered Nestie, and a minute later he was weeping
-bitterly and clinging with all his might to the schoolmaster, who came
-perilously near to tears himself.
-
-"They're together now, and ... I'll be father and mother to ye, Nestie,"
-said Mr. Dugald MacKinnon, master of mathematics in Muirtown Seminary,
-and known as Bulldog to three generations of Muirtown lads.
-
-
-
-
-A FAMOUS VICTORY
-
-IV
-
-
-The Seminary perfectly understood that, besides our two chief enemies,
-the "Pennies" and McIntyres, there were, in the holes and corners of the
-town, obscure schools where little companies of boys got some kind of
-education and were not quite devoid of proper spirit. During a really
-respectable snow-storm--which lasted for a month and gave us an
-opportunity of bringing affairs to a temporary settlement with our
-rivals, so that the town of Muirtown was our own for the next seven
-days--a scouting party from the Seminary in search of adventures had an
-encounter with a Free Kirk school, which was much enjoyed and spoken
-about for weeks beside the big fire. Speug began, indeed, to lay out a
-permanent campaign by which the boys going home southwards could look in
-from time to time on the Free Kirkers, and he indicated his willingness
-to take charge of the operation. It was also said that an Episcopal or
-Papist school--we made no subtile direct distinctions at the
-Seminary--in the northern district might afford some sport, and the
-leadership in this case was to be left to Duncan Robertson, the other
-captain of the commonwealth. Snow did not last the whole year round even
-in a Scots town; but it was wonderful what could be done in summer by
-the use of book-bags, well stuffed out with Cæsar and Lennie's English
-Grammar, and at the worst there always remained our fists. The pleasure
-of planning these forays is still a grateful recollection, for it seemed
-to us that by spreading our forces we might have perpetual warfare from
-January to December and over the length and breadth of the town, so that
-no one would be compelled to return to his home of an evening without
-the hope of a battle, and every street of the town would be
-distinguished by conflict. Nothing came, however, of those spirited
-enterprises that year, because our two rivals, laying aside their mutual
-quarrels, which, we understood, were very bitter, and entering
-into a covenant of falsehood--their lying filled us with holy
-indignation--attacked us front and rear while we were having an innocent
-game of Russians and English on the North Meadow. Although taken
-unawares and poorly provided with weapons we made a good fight; but in
-the end we were scattered so completely that Speug never reached the
-school again that day, for which he was thrashed by Bulldog next
-morning, and Dunc came in with a front tooth gone and one black eye,
-for which he was soundly thrashed at once.
-
-During all that summer we denounced the amazing meanness of the other
-side, and turned over plans for splitting the alliance, so that we might
-deal with each power separately and finally. Speug even conducted a
-negotiation--watchfully and across the street, for the treachery of the
-other side was beyond description--and tried to come to terms with the
-representative of our least hated opponent. He even thought, and Peter
-was not guileless, that he had secured their neutrality, when they
-suddenly burst forth into opprobrious language, being a very vulgar
-school indeed, and exposed Peter's designs openly. His feelings were not
-much hurt by the talk, in which, indeed, he scored an easy victory after
-he had abandoned negotiation and had settled down to vituperation, but
-Seminary boys whose homeward route took them past the hostile
-territories had to be careful all that summer. It was, indeed, a time of
-bitter humiliation to the premier school of Muirtown, and might have
-finally broken its spirit had it not have been for the historical battle
-in the beginning of November, when McGuffie and Robertson led us to
-victory, and the power of the allies was smashed for years. So great,
-indeed, was their defeat that in early spring Peter has been known to
-withdraw himself from marbles in the height of the season and of his own
-personal profit, for the simple purpose of promenading through the
-enemies' sphere of influence alone and flinging words of gross insult in
-at their gates.
-
-One of the schools must have been a charity for the education of poor
-lads, since it was known to us as the "Penny School," and it was a
-familiar cry ringing through the yard of the Seminary, "The Pennies are
-coming!" when we promptly turned out to give them the welcome which, to
-do them justice, they ardently desired. Whether this was a penny a week
-or a penny a month we did not know, or whether, indeed, they paid a
-penny at all, but it pleased us to give this name, and it soon passed
-beyond the stage of correction. Our enemies came at last to wear it
-proudly, like many other people who have been called by nicknames and
-turned the nickname into an honour, for they would follow up a
-particularly telling snowball with the cry, "There's a penny for ye!"
-They were sturdy varlets, quite indifferent as to boots and stockings,
-and equally so as to blows. Through their very regardlessness the
-Pennies would have been apt to rout the Seminary--whose boys had given
-pledges to respectability, and who had to answer searching questions as
-to their personal appearance every evening--had it not been for
-stalwarts like McGuffie, whose father, being a horsedealer, did not
-apply an over strict standard of judgment to his son's manners or
-exploits, and Robertson, who lived in lodgings and, being a soldier's
-son, was supposed to be in a state of discipline for the Army.
-
-Our feeling towards the Pennies was hardly cordial, but it was as
-nothing to our hatred of McIntyre's school, which called itself an
-academy, and had a Latin master and held examinations and affected
-social equality with the Seminary. Everyone knew that the Seminary had
-existed in the time of Queen Mary, and some said went back to the days
-of William Wallace, although we had some doubts as to whether the
-present building was then in existence. Everyone also knew that
-McIntyre's whole concern belonged to himself, and that he collected the
-fees in every class on Friday morning, that he took home what was over
-after paying his assistants, and that butcher meat for the McIntyre
-family next week depended on the result. McIntyre drew his supplies from
-the small tradesmen, and a Seminary lad, going in to get a new pair of
-boots at Meiklewham's would have a fine sense of pride in being measured
-by an old opponent whose face had often looked out on him from the mist
-of battle. This pretentious and windy institution even attempted the
-absurdity of a yearly prizegiving, when, instead of the Provost sitting
-in state and glaring before him with a Horace in his hands upside down,
-McIntyre's minister would hold forth on diligence and tidiness and
-courtesy and such like contemptible virtues. Had a Seminary boy been
-offered the painful choice, he would almost as soon have gone to the
-Pennies as to McIntyre, for in that case he had not been an impostor and
-a fraud.
-
-For a week the weather had been hovering on frost, and on Wednesday
-afternoon the snow began to fall with that quiet and steady downpour
-which means a lasting storm. Speug went home in great spirits, declaring
-to an admiring circle of junior boys that if Providence were kind and
-the snow continued there would be something worth living for at the
-dinner hour on Friday. As the snowball war was a serious affair, and was
-conducted after a scientific fashion, it never commenced until there was
-a good body of snow upon the ground and pure snow could be gathered up
-without earth and stones. The unpardonable sin of our warfare was
-slipping a stone into a snowball: this was the same as poisoning the
-wells, and the miscreant who perpetrated this crime was cast out from
-every school. There was a general understanding between parties that the
-mercies were not to be wasted, and that the schools were to refrain
-themselves until there was a fair and lasting supply of ammunition. It
-was still snowing on Thursday morning, and there were some who said that
-war might now be declared; and Jock Howieson, ever a daring and rash
-spirit, declared we should repent it if we were not ready against one
-o'clock. Speug and Dunc were however of opinion that nothing was likely
-to take place that day except desultory skirmishes, and that the whole
-day ought to be spent in accumulating a store of snowballs against
-Friday, when there was no question that we should have to face the
-united schools in a decisive battle. This was the only instance where
-our captains ever made a mistake, and they atoned for their error of
-judgment by the valour and skill with which they retrieved what seemed a
-hopeless defeat.
-
-As the hours wore on to one o'clock Speug could be seen glancing
-anxiously out at the window, and he secured an opportunity with Dunc for
-a hasty conference during the geometry lesson. About a quarter to one he
-turned from his slate and cocked his ear, and in two minutes afterwards
-every boy in Bulldog's class-room understood that the war had begun and
-that we had been taken by surprise. Scouts from McIntyre's, as we
-afterwards learned, had risked the danger of playing truant, which in a
-school like theirs cost nothing, and had visited our playground. They
-had carried back news that we were not yet prepared for battle, and our
-firm opinion was that the authorities of Penny's and McIntyre's had
-allowed their schools out at half-past twelve, in order to take us at a
-disadvantage. Before the bell rang and the senior classes were dismissed
-the Seminary knew that our enemies had seized the field of battle, but
-we did not know until we came out the extent of the disaster.
-
-The Pennies had come down the back street and had established
-themselves opposite the narrow entrance between two sheds through which
-three only could walk abreast from our playground to the street. They
-had also sent a daring body of their lighter and more agile lads to the
-top of the sheds which separated our playground from the street, and
-they had conveyed down an enormous store of ammunition, so that the
-courtyard was absolutely at their mercy, and anyone emerging from the
-corridor was received with a shower of well-made and hard snowballs
-against which there was no standing. Even if we ran this risk and
-crossed the open space we could then be raked by the fire from the shed,
-and a charge through the narrow passage to the street would be in the
-last degree hazardous. There were twelve feet of passage, and there were
-not many who would care to face a stream of snowballs driven by the
-vigorous hands of the Pennies down this passage as through a pipe.
-Instead of meeting our enemies on the street, we had been penned up
-within our own school. McIntyre's had come down the terrace and seized
-an excellent position behind two Russian guns which stood opposite our
-school and about twenty feet from our front entrance. They had made
-these guns into a kind of fort, from behind whose shelter, reinforced by
-a slight barricade of jackets, they commanded our entrance, and had
-driven in the first boys who emerged, in hopeless discomfiture. It came
-upon us that we had been shut up back and front, and shut up with the
-poorest supply of snowballs and very little snow with which to repair
-our resources.
-
-[Illustration: "SEIZED AN EXCELLENT POSITION BEHIND TWO RUSSIAN GUNS."]
-
-While the younger boys raged and stormed in the safety of the corridors,
-Dunc and Speug retired for consultation. In two minutes they came out
-and gave their orders to the mass of boys gathered together round the
-"well" and in the "well," and on the stairs and along the corridors. It
-was at this moment that Nestie Molyneux obtained a name which he covered
-with glory before the close of the day. As he had no class between
-twelve and one, he had been observing events, and with the aid of two or
-three other little boys had done what he could to repair the neglect of
-yesterday. In spite of a rain of snowballs he had availed himself of a
-sheltered corner in the playground and had worked without ceasing at the
-preparation of the balls. Every ball as it was made was dipped into a
-pail of water and then, half frozen, was laid in a corner where it was
-soon frozen altogether. "There'll be the feck o' two hundred balls
-ready. Ma certes! Nestie has a head on his shoulders. Now," said Speug,
-speaking from halfway up the stair, "we'll start with thae balls for a
-beginnin', and wi' them we'll fecht our way out to the open. As soon as
-we've cleared the background every ane o' the two junior classes is to
-mak' balls as hard as he can lick and bring them forward to the fighting
-line.
-
-"We'll divide the senior school into three divisions; Dunc will take
-thirty of ye and drive McIntyre frae the guns and along the terrace till
-ye turn them into Breadalbane Street. Thirty o' ye--and I want nae
-Dowbiggins--'ll come with me, and we'll bring the Pennies aff the shed
-quicker than they got up, and drive them up the back streets till we
-land them wi' the rest in Breadalbane Street; and the juniors 'ill keep
-us well supplied with balls, else Dunc and me will ken the reason at two
-o'clock.
-
-"Jock Howieson, ye're to tak' thirty swank fellows that can run and are
-no 'feart to be left alane. Ye'll rin round by the North Street and the
-Cathedral and come down the top of Breadalbane Street till ye cut off
-McIntyre's and the Pennies frae their schools. Dae nothin' till ye see
-Dunc and me drivin' the lot up Breadalbane Street, then come down from
-the back end of them wi' all your might, and I'm thinkin' they'll be
-wanting to be inside their ain yard afore a' be done."
-
-Dunc assembled his corps inside the front porch, each boy supplied with
-two balls and with twenty youngsters behind bringing up more. McIntyre's
-balls were falling on the front wall and coming in through the porch.
-One of them struck Dunc on the side of the head, but he forbade any
-return fire.
-
-"They're wastin' their balls," he said; "it'll be the better for us";
-and then, looking round, "Are ye ready? Charge!" and shouting "Seminary!
-Seminary!" he led his division across the terrace and fell upon
-McIntyre's behind the guns. It was a short, sharp scrimmage, during
-which Dunc levelled the leader of McIntyre's, and then the enemy began
-to retreat slowly down the terrace, with many a hand-to-hand encounter
-and scuffle on the snow. As soon as Dunc's division had cleared the
-front, Jock Howieson collected his lads and started along the terrace in
-the opposite direction at a sharp run, carrying no balls, for they
-intended to make them on the scene of operation. When the other two
-divisions were off, Speug addressed his faithful band. "MacFarlane, take
-six birkies, climb up the waterspout, and clean the richt-hand shed,
-couping the Pennies into the street. Mackenzie, ye're no bad at the
-fightin'; tak' anither sax and empty the roof o' the left-hand shed, and
-'gin ye can clout that Penny that's sittin' on the riggin' it'll teach
-him to keep in the street next day.
-
-"Noo, that leaves eighteen, and me and Bauldie and Jamie Johnston 'ill
-lead ye down the passage. We'll need six balls each, as hard as ye mak'
-'em, and the rest o' ye tak' two in yir arms and one in yir hand. Pit
-yir bonnits in yir pocket--they'll no be muckle use--button yir jackets,
-and when the three o' us gae down the passage for ony sake follow close
-in behind. Just ae thing more," said Speug, who was in his glory that
-day. "I'll need a laddie to keep me gaein' with balls, and I want a
-laddie that has some spunk, for he'll hae a rough time." Below thirty
-of the junior school were waiting and looking at Speug like dogs for a
-biscuit. He threw his eye over the group, any one of which would have
-given his best knife and all his marbles, and thrown in a cricket bat
-and his last kite, to have been chosen.
-
-"Nestie," said Speug, "ye're little and ye're white and ye're terrible
-polite, but there's a sperit in ye. Ye'll carry ma balls this day, and
-noo, you juniors, aff to the ball-making, and see that Nestie's bonnet's
-well filled, and there's no any of us wanting for a ball when we drive
-the Pennies down the back road." Then Speug moved to the back corridor
-and arranged his division, with Nestie behind him, and Bauldie and Jamie
-Johnston on the right hand and on the left, Mackenzie's and MacFarlane's
-detachments close behind, who were to turn off to the right hand and the
-left as they emerged from the corridor; the rest were to follow Speug
-through the passage of danger. Speug took two balls and placed them in
-the hollow of his left arm, feeling them carefully to see that they
-would leave a mark when they struck a Penny. The third he took in his
-right hand, and Nestie had the reserve.
-
-"Noo," he said, "gin anybody be feared he'd better gae in and sit doun
-beside the fire with the Dowbiggins," and since nobody responded to this
-genial invitation Speug gave one shout of "Seminary!" and in a minute
-was across the playground and at the mouth of the passage, while
-Mackenzie and MacFarlane were already scrambling up the walls of the
-sheds. Covering his face with his left arm and sending his first ball
-direct into the face of the foremost Penny, and following it up with a
-second and a third driven with unerring aim and the force of a catapolt,
-and receiving anything from twelve to twenty balls between him and
-Bauldie and Johnston, the three led the way down the passage, Nestie
-close behind Speug and handing him a new supply of balls. They met at
-the outer end of the passage--the Pennies and Speug's lot--and for about
-thirty seconds they swayed in one mass of struggling, fighting, shouting
-boy life, and then, so steady was the play of Speug's fists, so able the
-assistance of the other two, so strong the pressure from behind, and so
-rapid the shower of balls sent over Speug's head among the Pennies, the
-Pennies gave way and Speug and his band burst into the back street, the
-leader with his jacket torn off his back, and his face bearing the scars
-of conflict, but full of might, and Nestie with the balls behind him.
-
-The Seminary lads and the Pennies were now face to face in the back
-street, with a space of about ten yards between, and both parties made
-arrangements for the final conflict. The scouts of the Pennies could be
-seen bringing balls from Breadalbane Street, and the Pennies themselves
-made such hasty readjustments of their negligent attire as were
-rendered necessary by the vigour of the last fighting. Their commander
-was a sturdy lad about fifteen years of age, with a great shock of red
-hair and fists like iron. His favourite method of charge was to lead his
-army in the form of an inverted V, he being himself at the apex, and to
-force his way through the other side on the principle of a wedge. Speug
-did not believe in this arrangement. He led himself in the centre and
-threw out his two lieutenants far out on the right hand and on the left,
-so that when the Pennies forced their way into the middle of his
-division, Bauldie and Johnson were on their right and left
-flanks--tactics which in Speug's experience always caused dismay in the
-attacking force. The younger boys of the Seminary had by this time ample
-resources of ammunition ready, working like tigers without jackets now
-or bonnets, and as they brought out the supplies of balls through the
-passage of victory they received nods of approval from Speug, each nod
-being something like a decoration. It was fine to see Speug examining
-the balls to see that they were properly made and of a hardness which
-would give satisfaction to the expectant Pennies.
-
-Some pleasant incidents occurred during this interlude. When the
-Seminary lads fought their way through the passage they cut off the
-retreat of three Pennies who were still fighting with MacFarlane on the
-top of the right-hand shed.
-
-"What are ye daein' up there?" said Speug, with ironic politeness;
-"that's no' the ordinar' road into the Seminary;" and then, as they
-hesitated on the edge of the water pipe, Speug conceived what was in
-these days a fine form of humour. "Come down," he said, "naebody 'ill
-touch ye"; and then he ordered an open passage to be made through the
-ranks of the Seminaries. Down between two lines the unfortunate Pennies
-walked, no one laying a hand upon them, but various humourists
-expressing their hopes that they had enjoyed the top of the shed, that
-it wasn't MacFarlane that had given one of them a black eye, that they
-hoped one of them hadn't lost his jacket on the roof of the shed, and
-that they were none the worse for their exertion, and that they expected
-to meet them later on--which gracious salutations the Pennies received
-in bitter silence as they ran the gauntlet; and when they had escaped
-clear of the Seminaries and stood halfway between the two armies they
-turned round with insulting gestures, and one of them cried, "Ye'll get
-yir paiks (thrashing) for this or the day be done!"
-
-Their arrival among their friends and the slight commotion which it
-caused in the front ranks of the Pennies was a chance for Speug, who
-gave the signal for the charge and made himself directly for the leader
-of the Pennies. No pen at this distance of time can describe the
-conflict between the two leaders, who fired forth balls at each other at
-close distance, every one going to its mark, and one leaving an
-indelible impress upon Speug's ingenuous forehead. They then came to
-close grip, and there was a tussle, for which both had been waiting for
-many a day. From fists, which were not quite ineffectual, they fell upon
-wrestling, and here it seemed that Redhead must have the advantage, for
-he was taller in stature and more sinuous in body. During the wrestle
-there was something like a lull in the fighting, and both Pennies and
-Seminaries, now close together, held their hands till Speug, with a
-cunning turn of the leg that he had been taught by an English groom in
-his father's stable, got the advantage, and the two champions came down
-in the snow, Redhead below. The Seminaries set up a shout of triumph,
-and the scouts running to and fro with the balls behind joined in with,
-"Well done, Speug!"
-
-Speug had all the instincts of a true general and was not the man to
-spend his time in unprofitable exultation. It was a great chance to take
-the Pennies when they were without their leader and discomfited by his
-fall, and in an instant Speug was up, driving his way through the midst
-of the enemy, who were now divided in the centre, whilst Johnston and
-Bauldie had crept up by the side of the houses on either side and were
-attacking them in parallel lines. MacFarlane and Mackenzie had come down
-from the shed with their detachment and were busy in the rear of the
-Seminaries. Redhead fought like a hero, but was almost helpless in the
-confusion, and thought it the best strategy to make a rush to the clear
-ground in the rear of his position, calling his followers after him; and
-now the Pennies gathered at the far end of the street, beaten in tactics
-and in fighting, but ever strong in heart, and full of insolence.
-"That," said Speug, wiping his face with his famous red handkerchief
-which he carried in his trousers pocket, and hastily attending to some
-of his wounds, "that wesna' bad"; and then turning to Nestie, "Ye keepit
-close, my mannie." Speug's officers, such mighties as Bauldie and
-Johnston, MacFarlane and Mackenzie, all bearing scars, clustered round
-their commander with expressions of admiration. "Yon was a bonny twirl,
-and you coupit him weel." "Sall, they've gotten their licks," while
-Speug modestly disclaimed all credit, and spoke generously of the
-Pennies, declaring that they had fought well, and that Redhead nearly
-got the mastery.
-
-At that moment a shout of "Seminary!" was heard in the rear of the
-Pennies, and Speug knew that Duncan Robertson had driven McIntyre's the
-full length of the terrace and was now fighting them in Breadalbane
-Street. "Forward!" cried Speug. "Dunc's on the back of them," and
-Redhead at the same moment hurriedly withdrew his forces, covering his
-retreat with a shower of balls, and united with McIntyre's, who were
-retiring before Robertson and the second division of the Seminaries.
-Amid cries of "Seminary! Seminary!" Speug and Duncan met where the back
-street opens into Breadalbane Street, and their divisions amalgamated,
-exchanging notes on the battle and examining one another's personal
-appearance. There was not a bonnet to be seen, and not many jackets,
-which had either been left behind or thrown off or torn off in personal
-conflict with the Pennies; collars may have remained, but that no one
-could tell, and there were some whose waistcoats were now held by one
-button. Two or three also had been compelled to drop out of active
-battle and were hanging in the rear, rubbing their faces with snow and
-trusting to be able to see clear enough for the final charge; and still
-the juniors were making their balls and had established a new magazine
-at the end of the terrace. Several of these impenitent little wretches
-had themselves been in the thick of the fight, and could be seen
-pointing proudly to a clout on the forehead and a cut on the lip. What a
-time certain mothers would have that evening when their warriors came
-home, some of them without caps, which would never be recovered, most of
-them with buttonless waistcoats and torn jackets, half of them with
-disfigured faces, all of them drenched to the skin, and every one of
-them full of infinite satisfaction and gladness of heart! Their fathers,
-who had heard about the battle before they came home and had not failed
-to discover who had won, being all Seminary lads themselves, would also
-be much lifted, but would feign to be extremely angry at the savagery
-of their boys, would wonder where the police were, would threaten their
-sons with all manner of punishments if this ever happened again, and
-would declare their intention of laying a complaint before the chief
-constable. As, however, it was absolutely necessary in the interests of
-justice that the whole facts should be known before they took action,
-they would skilfully extract the whole Homeric narrative, with every
-personal conflict and ruse of war, from their sons, and only when the
-last incident had been related would announce their grave and final
-displeasure.
-
-As for the police, who were not numerous in Muirtown, and who lived on
-excellent good terms with everybody, except tramps, they seemed to have
-a prophetic knowledge when a snow-fight was coming on, and were detained
-by important duty in distant streets. It was always, however, believed
-by the Seminary that two of the police could be seen, one at the
-distance of the bridge over the Tay, the other at the far extremity of
-Breadalbane Street, following the fight with rapt attention, and in the
-case of the Pennies winning, which had been their own school, smacking
-their lips and slapping their hands under pretence of warming themselves
-in the cold weather, and in the event of the Seminaries winning marching
-off in opposite directions, lest they should be tempted to interfere,
-which they would have considered contrary to the rules of fair play,
-and giving their own school a mean advantage. Perhaps some ingenuous
-modern person will ask, "What were the masters of the Seminary about
-during this hour?" The Rector was sitting by the fire in his
-retiring-room, reading a winter ode of Horace, and as faint sounds of
-war reached his ears he would stir the fire and lament, like the quiet
-old scholar that he was, that Providence had made him ruler of such a
-band of barbarians; but he would also cherish the hope that his
-barbarians would not come off second. As for Bulldog, his mind was torn
-between two delights--the anticipation of the exercise which he would
-have next day, and the pleasure which his lads were having to-day--and
-nothing more entirely endeared Bulldog to his savages than the fact
-that, instead of going home to dinner during this hour, which was his
-usual custom, he contented himself with a biscuit. He was obliged to buy
-it in a baker's shop in Breadalbane Street, from which he could command
-a perfect view of the whole battle, especially as he happened to stand
-in the doorway of the shop, and never returned to school till the crisis
-of war was over. He was careful to explain to the school that he had
-himself gone for the purpose of identifying the ringleaders in mischief,
-and it was on such an occasion that Speug, keeping his right cheek
-immovable towards Bulldog, would wink to the assembled school with
-irresistible effect.
-
-Nor ought one to forget the janitor of Muirtown Seminary, who had been a
-sergeant in the Black Watch and had been wounded three times in the
-Crimean War. His orders, as given by the Rector and reinforced by all
-law-abiding parents, were to prevent any boy of the Seminary leaving the
-school for the purpose of a snowball fight, and should such an
-unfortunate affair take place he was directed to plunge into the midst
-and by force of arm to bring the Seminaries home to their own fireside,
-leaving rough and rude schools like the Pennies and McIntyre's to fight
-at their wicked will. For did not the Seminary lads move in polite
-society, except Speug, and were they not going to be, as they have
-become, clergymen and lawyers, and physicians, to say nothing of bailies
-on the bench and elders of the Kirk? These orders Sergeant Dougal
-McGlashan carried out, not so much in the bondage of the letter as in
-the fulness of the spirit. Many were the conversations which Speug and
-he had together in anticipation of the snow time, when you may believe
-if you please that that peaceable man was exhorting Speug to obedience
-and gentleness, or if you please that he was giving the commander of the
-Seminary certain useful hints which he himself had picked up from the
-"red line" at Balaclava. Certain it is that when the Seminaries went out
-that day in battle array the sergeant was engaged mending the fires with
-great diligence, so that he was not able to see them depart. Afterwards
-it was the merest duty for him to stand at the end of the passage of
-victory, lest the Pennies or any other person should venture on another
-outrage; and if he was late in calling his boys back from Breadalbane
-Street, that was only because the cold had made his wounds to smart
-again, and he could only follow them in the rear till the battle was
-over. When the evil was done there was no use of vain regret, and in the
-afternoon the sergeant stood beside the big fire and heard accounts of
-the battle from one and another, and then he would declare that there
-were lads in Muirtown Seminary who would have done well at Inkermann and
-the storming of the Redan.
-
-Breadalbane Street, which was broad and straight, with the back road to
-the Seminary on the right hand, and the street to McIntyre's and the
-Pennies on the left, had been the battle-ground of generations, for it
-gave opportunity for deploying in divisions, for front attack and for
-flank, as well as for royal charges which extended across the street.
-McIntyres and Pennies had been recruited from their several schools and
-supplied afresh with ammunition. Redhead took command of the united
-force and arranged them across the street in his favourite wedge, with
-the base resting on the home street, and this time he gave the signal,
-and so impetuous was their charge that they drove their way almost
-through the ranks of the Seminaries, and Speug himself, through sheer
-weight of attack, was laid flat in the middle of the street. Robertson
-and his officers rallied their forces, but it was possible that the
-Seminaries might have lost the day had it not been for the masterly
-foresight of Speug and the opportune arrival of Jock Howieson. That
-worthy had taken his division by a circuitous route, in which they had
-been obstructed by a miserable Episcopal school which wanted a fight on
-its own account and had to receive some passing attention. A little
-late, Howieson reached the Cathedral, and then, judging it better not to
-come down Breadalbane Street, where his attack would have been exposed,
-he made his way on the right of the street by passages known only to
-himself, and having supplied his division with ammunition from a
-snow-drift in a back entry, he came into the home street, which was the
-only line of retreat for the enemy, and cut them off from their base.
-Leaving a handful of lads to prevent the scouts coming out from the
-Pennies or the McIntyres with information, and driving before him the
-ammunition train of the enemy, he came round into Breadalbane Street
-with twenty-five tough fighters raging and fuming for the battle and
-just in the nick of time. It was hard for any fighting man to have spent
-something like half an hour wandering round circuitous streets and
-holding ridiculous conflicts with unknown schools when the battle of
-Waterloo, with the fate of the Empire of Muirtown, was hanging in the
-balance.
-
-Before Redhead had notice of the arrival of the new division they were
-upon his rear, and a play of snowballs fell upon the back of the
-Pennies. This was more than even veteran forces could endure, and in
-spite of the heroic efforts of Redhead, who fired his balls alternately
-back and forward, his forces fell into a panic. They broke and drove
-their way through Howieson's division, receiving severe punishment from
-balls fired at a distance of a few feet, and then, in spite of the
-efforts of their officers, who fought till they were black and blue, but
-chiefly red, the enemy rushed down the home street and, sweeping the
-rearguard of Howieson's before them like straws in a stream, made for
-their respective schools. The Seminaries in one united body, headed by
-the three commanders and attended by the whole junior school, visited
-the Pennies' school first, whose gates were promptly closed, and having
-challenged the Pennies with opprobrious words to come out and fight like
-men--Redhead being offered the chance of single combat with Dunc or
-Speug or Jock Howieson--the Seminaries then made their way to McIntyre's
-Academy. As this unfortunate place of learning had no gate, Speug led
-the Seminaries into the centre of their courtyard, McIntyre's boys
-having no spirit left in them and being now hidden in the class-rooms.
-As they would not come out, in spite of a shower of courteous
-invitations, Speug stood in the centre of their courtyard and called the
-gods to witness that it had been a fair fight and that the Seminaries
-had won. A marvellous figure was he, without bonnet, without collar,
-without tie, without jacket, without waistcoat, with nothing on him but
-a flannel shirt and those marvellous horsey trousers, but glorious in
-victory. Taking a snowball from Nestie, who was standing by his side,
-openly and in face of McIntyre's masters, gathered at a window, he sent
-it with unerring aim through the largest pane of glass in McIntyre's own
-room. "That," said Speug, "'ill tell ye the Seminaries have been here."
-Then he collected his forces and led them home down the cross street and
-into Breadalbane Street, down the middle of Breadalbane Street, and
-round the terrace, and in by the front door into the Seminary. As they
-came down they sang, "Scots wha hae," and the juniors, who had rushed on
-before, met them at the door and gave three cheers, first for Speug,
-then for Dunc, and then for Jock Howieson, which homage and tribute of
-victory Speug received with affected contempt but great pride of heart.
-In order to conceal his feelings he turned to his faithful henchman,
-little Nestie Molyneux, who, always a delicate-looking little laddie,
-was now an altogether abject spectacle, with torn clothes, dripping
-hair, and battered face. "Nestie," said Speug, in hearing of the whole
-school, "ye're a plucky little deevil," and although since then he has
-been in many places and has had various modest triumphs, that still
-remains the proudest moment in Nestie Molyneux's life.
-
-
-
-
-HIS PRIVATE CAPACITY
-
-V
-
-
-It is well enough for popular rulers like presidents to live in public
-and shake hands with every person; but absolute monarchs, who govern
-with an iron hand and pay not the slightest attention to the public
-mind, ought to be veiled in mystery. If Bulldog had walked homeward with
-his boys in an affectionate manner, and inquired after their sisters,
-like his temporary assistant, Mr. Byles, or had played with interesting
-babies on the North Meadow, as did Topp, the drawing-master--Augustus de
-Lacy Topp--who wore a brown velvet jacket and represented sentiment in a
-form verging on lunacy; or if he had invited his classes to drink coffee
-in a very shabby little home, as poor Moossy did, and treated them to
-Beethoven's Symphonies, then even Jock Howieson, the stupidest lad in
-the Seminary, would have been shocked, and would have felt that the
-Creation was out of gear. The last thing we had expected of Bulldog was
-polite conversation, or private hospitality. His speech was confined to
-the class-room, and there was most practical; and his hospitality,
-which was generous and widespread, was invariably public. His _rôle_ was
-to be austere, unapproachable, and lifted above feeling, and had it not
-been for Nestie he had sustained it to the day of his death.
-
-Opinion varied about Bulldog's age, some insisting that he had
-approached his century, others being content with "Weel on to eighty."
-None hinted at less than seventy. No one could remember his coming to
-Muirtown, and none knew whence he came. His birthplace was commonly
-believed to be the West Highlands, and it was certain that in dealing
-with a case of aggravated truancy he dropped into Gaelic. Bailie
-McCallum used to refer in convivial moments to his schooldays under
-Bulldog, and always left it to be inferred that had it not been for that
-tender, fostering care, he had not risen to his high estate in Muirtown.
-Fathers of families who were elders in the kirk, and verging on grey
-hair, would hear no complaints of Bulldog, for they had passed under the
-yoke in their youth, and what they had endured with profit--they now
-said--was good enough for their children. He seemed to us in those days
-like Melchizedek, without father or mother, beginning or end of days;
-and now that Bulldog has lain for many a year in a quiet Perthshire
-kirkyard, it is hardly worth while visiting Muirtown Seminary.
-
-Every morning, except in vacation, he crossed the bridge at 8.45, with
-such rigid punctuality that the clerks in the Post Office checked the
-clock by him, and he returned by the way he had gone, over the North
-Meadow, at 4.15, for it was his grateful custom to close the
-administration of discipline at the same hour as the teaching,
-considering with justice that any of the Muirtown varlets would rather
-take the cane than be kept in, where from the windows he could see the
-North Meadow in its greenness, and the river running rapidly on an
-afternoon. It would have been out of place for Bulldog to live in a
-Muirtown street, where he must have been overlooked and could not have
-maintained his necessary reserve. Years ago he had built himself a house
-upon the slope of the hill which commanded Muirtown from the other side
-of the river. It was a hill which began with wood and ended in a lofty
-crag; and even from his house, halfway up and among the trees, Bulldog
-could look down upon Muirtown, compactly built together on the plain
-beneath, and thinly veiled in the grey smoke which rose up lazily from
-its homes. It cannot be truthfully said that Bulldog gave himself to
-poetry, but having once varied his usual country holiday by a visit to
-Italy, he ever afterwards declared at dinner-table that Muirtown
-reminded him of Florence as you saw that city from Fiesole, with the
-ancient kirk of St. John rising instead of the Duomo, and the Tay
-instead of the Arno. He admitted that Florence had the advantage in her
-cathedral, but he stoutly insisted that the Arno was but a poor,
-shrunken river compared with his own; for wherever Bulldog may have been
-born, he boasted himself to be a citizen of Muirtown, and always
-believed that there was no river to be found anywhere like unto the Tay.
-His garden was surrounded with a high wall, and the entrance was by a
-wooden door, and how Bulldog lived within these walls no one knew, but
-many had imagined. Speug, with two daring companions, had once traced
-Bulldog home and seen him disappear through the archway, and then it was
-in their plan to form a ladder one above the other, and that Peter, from
-the top thereof, should behold the mysterious interior and observe
-Bulldog in private life; but even Speug's courage failed at the critical
-moment, and they returned without news to the disappointed school.
-
-Pity was not the characteristic of Seminary life in those days, but the
-hardest heart was touched with compassion when Nestie Molyneux lost his
-father and went to stay with Bulldog. The Seminary rejoiced in their
-master; but it was with trembling, and the thought of spending the
-evening hours and all one's spare time in his genial company excited our
-darkest imagination. To write our copy-books and do our problems under
-Bulldog's eye was a bracing discipline which lent a kind of zest to
-life, but to eat and drink with Bulldog was a fate beyond words.
-
-As it was an article of faith with us that Bulldog was never perfectly
-happy except when he was plying the cane, it was taken for granted that
-Nestie would be his solitary means of relaxation, from the afternoon of
-one day to the morning of the next, and when Nestie appeared, on the
-third morning after his change of residence, the school was waiting to
-receive him.
-
-His walking across the meadow by Bulldog's side, with his hands in his
-pockets, talking at his ease and laughing lightly, amazed us on first
-sight, but did not count for much, because we considered this manner a
-policy of expediency and an act of hypocrisy. After all, he was
-only doing what every one of us would have done in the same
-circumstances--conciliating the tyrant and covering his own sufferings.
-We kept a respectful distance till Nestie parted with his guardian, and
-then we closed in round him and licked our lips, for the story that
-Nestie could tell would make any Indian tale hardly worth the reading.
-
-Babel was let loose, and Nestie was pelted with questions which came in
-a fine confusion from many voices, and to which he was hardly expected
-to give an immediate answer.
-
-"What like is the cane he keeps at home?" "Has Bulldog tawse in the
-house?" "Div ye catch it regular?" "Does he come after you to your
-bedroom?" "Have ye onything to eat?" "Is the garden door locked?" "Could
-ye climb over the wall if he was thrashing you too sore?" "Did he let
-ye bring yir rabbits?" "Have ye to work at yir lessons a' night?" "What
-does Bulldog eat for his dinner?" "Does he ever speak to you?" "Does he
-ever say onything about the school?" "Did ye ever see Bulldog sleeping?"
-"Are ye feared to be with him?" "Would the police take ye away if he was
-hurting ye?" "Is there ony other body in the house?" "Would he let ye
-make gundy (candy) by the kitchen fire?" "Have ye to work all night at
-yir books?" "Does he make ye brush his boots?" "What do ye call him in
-the house?" "Would ye call him Bulldog for a shilling's-worth of gundy
-if the garden gate was open?" "Has he ony apples in the garden?" "Would
-ye daur to lay a finger on them?" "How often have ye to wash yir hands?"
-"Would ye get yir licks if yir hair wasna brushed?" And then Speug
-interfered, and commanded silence that Nestie might satisfy the
-curiosity of the school.
-
-"Haud yir blethering tongues!" was his polite form of address. "Noo,
-Nestie, come awa' wi' yir evidence. What like is't to live wi' Bulldog?"
-
-"It's awfully g-good of you fellows to ask how I'm getting on with
-Bully," and Nestie's eyes lit up with fun, for he'd a nice little sense
-of humour, and never could resist the temptation of letting it play upon
-our slow-witted, matter-of-fact intellects. "And I declare you seem to
-know all about what h-happens. I'll j-just tell you something about it,
-but it'll make you creepy," and then all the circle gathered in round
-Nestie. "I have to rise at five in the morning, and if I'm not down at
-half-past, Bulldog comes for me with a c-cane" (Howieson at this point
-rubbed himself behind gently). "Before breakfast we have six 'p-props'
-from Euclid and two vulgar f-fractions" (a groan from the school): "for
-breakfast we've porridge and milk, and I have to keep time with
-Bulldog--one, two, three, four--with the spoonfuls. He's got the c-cane
-on the table." ("Gosh" from a boy at the back, and general sympathy.)
-"He has the t-tawse hung in the lobby so as to be handy." ("It cowes
-all.") "There are three regular c-canings every day, one in the morning,
-and one in the afternoon, and one before you go to bed." At this point
-Speug, who had been listening with much doubt to Nestie's account, and
-knew that he had a luxuriant imagination, interfered.
-
-"Nestie," he said, "ye're an abandoned little scoundrel, and ye're
-telling lees straicht forward," and the school went into the class-room
-divided in opinion. Some were suspicious that Nestie had been feeding
-their curiosity with highly spiced meat, but others were inclined to
-believe anything of Bulldog's household arrangements. During the hour
-Speug studied Nestie's countenance with interest, and in the break he
-laid hold of that ingenious young gentleman by the ear and led him apart
-into a quiet corner, where he exhorted him to unbosom the truth. Nestie
-whispered something in Speug's ear which shook even that worthy's
-composure.
-
-"Did ye say rabbits?"
-
-"Lop-ears," said Nestie after a moment's silence, and Speug was more
-confounded than he had ever been in all his blameless life.
-
-"Ernest Molyneux, div ye kin whar ye 'ill go to if ye tell lees."
-
-"I'm telling the t-truth, Speug, and I never tell lies, but sometimes I
-compose t-tales. Lop-ear rabbits, and he feeds them himself."
-
-"Will ye say 'as sure as death'?"--for this was with us the final test
-of truth.
-
-"As sure as death," said Nestie, and that afternoon Speug had so much to
-think about that he gave almost no heed when Bulldog discovered him with
-nothing on the sheet before him except a remarkably correct drawing of
-two lop-eared rabbits.
-
-Speug and Nestie crossed the North Meadow together after school, and
-before they parted at the bridge Nestie entreated the favour of a visit
-in his new home that evening from Speug; but, although modesty was not
-Speug's prevailing characteristic, he would on no account accept the
-flattering invitation. Maybe he was going to drive with his father, who
-was breaking-in a new horse, or maybe he was going out on the river in a
-boat, or maybe the stable gates were to be shut and the fox turned loose
-for a run, or maybe----
-
-[Illustration: "NESTIE WHISPERED SOMETHING IN SPEUG'S EAR."]
-
-"Maybe you are going to learn your l-lessons, Speug, for once in your
-life," said Nestie, who, his head on one side, was studying Speug's
-embarrassment.
-
-"A'm to do naething o' the kind," retorted Speug, turning a dark red at
-this insult. "Nane o' yir impidence."
-
-"Maybe you're f-frightened to come," said Nestie, and dodged at the same
-time behind a lamp-post. "Why, Speug, I didn't know you were
-f-frightened of anything."
-
-"Naither I am," said Speug stoutly; "an' if it had been Jock Howieson
-said that, I'd black his eyes. What sud I be frightened of, ye miserable
-little shrimp?"
-
-"Really, I don't know, Speug," said Nestie; "but just let me g-guess. It
-might be climbing the hill; or did you think you might meet one of the
-'Pennies,' and he would fight you; or, Speug--an idea occurs to me--do
-you feel as if you did not want to spend an hour--just a nice, quiet
-hour--all alone with Bulldog? You and he are such f-friends, Speug, in
-the Seminary. Afraid of Bulldog? Speug, I'm ashamed of you, when poor
-little me has to live with him now every day."
-
-"When I get a grip o' you, Nestie Molyneux, I'll learn ye to give me
-chat. I never was afraid of Bulldog, and I dinna care if he chases me
-round the garden wi' a stick, but I'm no coming."
-
-"You _are_ afraid, Speug; you _dare_ not come." And Nestie kept
-carefully out of Speug's reach.
-
-"You are a liar," cried Speug. "I'll come up this very night at seven
-o'clock, but I'll no come in unless ye're at the garden door."
-
-Speug had fought many pitched battles in his day, and was afraid neither
-of man nor beast, but his heart sank within him for the first time in
-his life when he crossed the bridge and climbed the hill to the
-residence of Mr. Dugald MacKinnon. Nothing but his pledged word, and a
-reputation for courage which must not be tarnished, since it rested on
-nothing else, brought him up the lane to Bulldog's door. He was before
-his time, and Nestie had not yet come to meet him, and he could allow
-his imagination to picture what was within the walls, and what might
-befall his unfortunate self before he went down that lane again. His one
-consolation and support was in the lop-eared rabbits; and if it were the
-case, as Nestie had sworn with an oath which never had been broken at
-the Seminary, that there were rabbits within that dreadful enclosure,
-there was hope for him; for if he knew about anything, he knew about
-rabbits, and if anyone had to do with rabbits--and although it was
-incredible, yet had not Nestie sworn it with an oath?--there must be
-some bowels of mercy even in Bulldog. Speug began to speculate whether
-he might not be able, with Nestie's loyal help, to reach the rabbits and
-examine thoroughly into their condition, and escape from the garden
-without a personal interview with its owner; and at the thought thereof
-Speug's heart was lifted. For of all his exploits which had delighted
-the Seminary, none, for its wonder and daring, its sheer amazingness,
-could be compared with a stolen visit to Bulldog's rabbits. "Nestie," he
-murmured to himself, as he remembered that little Englishman's prodigal
-imagination, "is a maist extraordinary leear, but he said 'as sure as
-death.'"
-
-"Why, Speug, is that you? You ought to have opened the door. Come along
-and shake hands with the master; he's just l-longing to see you." And
-Speug was dragged along the walk between the gooseberry bushes, which in
-no other circumstances would he have passed unnoticed, and was taken up
-to be introduced with the air of a dog going to execution. He heard
-someone coming down the walk, and he lifted up his eyes to know the
-worst, and in that moment it appeared as if reason had deserted the
-unhappy Speug. It was the face of Bulldog, for the like of that
-countenance could not be found on any other man within the United
-Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. Yes, it was Bulldog, and that
-Speug would be prepared to swear in any court of justice. The nose and
-the chin, and the iron-grey whiskers and hair, and above all those
-revolving eyes. There could not be any mistake. But what had happened to
-Bulldog's face, for it was like unto that of another man? The sternness
-had gone out of it, and--there was no doubt about it--Bulldog was
-smiling, and it was an altogether comprehensive and irresistible smile.
-It had taken the iron lines out of his face and shaped his lips to the
-kindliest curve, and deprived his nose of its aggressive air, and robbed
-the judicial appearance of his whiskers, and it had given him--it was a
-positive fact--another pair of eyes. They still revolved, but not now
-like the guns in the turret of a monitor dealing destruction right and
-left. They were shining and twinkling like the kindly light from a
-harbour tower. There never was such a genial and humoursome face, so
-full of fun and humanity, as that which looked down on the speechless
-Speug. Nor was that all; it was a complete transformation. Where were
-the pepper-and-salt trousers and the formal black coat and vest, which
-seemed somehow to symbolise the inflexible severity of Bulldog's reign?
-and the hat, and the gloves, and the stick--what had become of his
-trappings? Was there ever such a pair of disreputable old slippers, down
-at the heel, out at the sides, broken at the seams, as those that
-covered the feet of Bulldog in that garden. The very sight of those
-slippers, with their suggestion of slackness and unpunctuality and
-ignorance of all useful knowledge and general Bohemianism, was the first
-thing which cheered the heart of Speug. Those slippers would tolerate no
-problems from Euclid and would laugh a cane to scorn. Where did he ever
-get those trousers, and from whose hands did they originally come,
-baggy at the knee and loose everywhere, stained with garden mould and
-torn with garden bushes?
-
-[Illustration: "SPEUG WAS DRAGGED ALONG THE WALK."]
-
-Without question it was a warm night in that sheltered place on the side
-of the hill; but would any person believe that the master of
-mathematics, besides writing and arithmetic, in Muirtown Seminary, was
-going about in his garden, and before the eyes of two of his pupils,
-without the vestige of a waistcoat. Speug now was braced for wonders,
-but even he was startled with Bulldog's jacket, which seemed of earlier
-age than the trousers, with which it had no connexion in colour. It may
-once have had four buttons, but only two were left now; there was a tear
-in its side that must have been made by a nail in the garden wall, the
-handle of a hammer projected from one pocket, and a pruning-knife from
-the other. And if there was not a pipe in Bulldog's mouth, stuck in the
-side of his cheek, "as sure as death!" There was a knife in his hand,
-with six blades and a corkscrew and a gimlet and the thing for taking
-the stones out of a horse's hoof--oath again repeated--and Bulldog was
-trying the edge of the biggest blade upon his finger. Speug, now
-ascending from height to height, was not surprised to see no necktie,
-and would have been prepared to see no collar. He had now even a wild
-hope that when he reached Bulldog's head it might be crowned with a
-Highland bonnet, minus the tails; but instead thereof there was a hat,
-possibly once a wide-awake, so bashed, and shapeless, and discoloured,
-and worn so rakishly, partly on the back and partly on the side of his
-head, that Speug was inwardly satisfied, and knew that no evil could
-befall him in that garden.
-
-"Speug, my mannie, how are ye?" said this amazing figure. "Ye've been
-long of coming. There's something like a knife, eh!" and Bulldog opened
-up the whole concern and challenged Speug to produce his knife, which
-was not so bad after all, for it had six departments, and one of them
-was a file, which was wanting in Bulldog's.
-
-"Show the master your peerie, Speug," said Nestie. "It's split more tops
-than any one in the school; it's a r-ripper," and Nestie exhibited its
-deadly steel point with much pride, while Speug endeavoured to look
-unconscious as the owner of this instrument of war.
-
-"Dod, I'll have a try myself," said Bulldog. "It's many a year since
-I've spun a top. Where's yir string?" and he strode up the walk winding
-the top, and the boys behind looked at one another, while Nestie
-triumphed openly.
-
-"Are you frightened, Speug?" he whispered. "Ain't he great? And just you
-wait; you haven't begun to see things yet, not h-half."
-
-Upon the doorstep Bulldog spun the top with a right hand that had not
-lost its cunning, but rather had been strengthened by much cane
-exercise. "It's sleeping," he cried in huge delight. "If you dare to
-touch it, pity you!" but no one wished to shorten its time, and the
-three hung over that top with fond interest, as Bulldog timed the
-performance with his watch, which he extricated from his trouser pocket.
-
-"Ye're a judge of rabbits, Speug," said the master. "I would like to
-have yir advice," and as they went down through the garden they halted
-at a place, and the robins came and sat on Bulldog's shoulder and took
-crumbs out of his hand, and a little further on the thrushes bade him
-welcome, and he showed the boys where the swallows had built every year,
-and they also flew round his head.
-
-"If ye dinna meddle with them, the birds 'ill no be afraid o' you, will
-they, Dandie?" and the old terrier which followed at his heels wagged
-his tail and indicated that he also was on good terms with every living
-thing in the garden.
-
-No one in the Seminary ever could be brought to believe it, even
-although Speug tried to inculcate faith with his fists, that Bulldog had
-carried out a litter of young rabbits in his hat for inspection, and
-that, before the three of them laid themselves out for a supper of
-strawberries, Speug had given to his master the best knowledge at his
-command on the amount of green food which might be given with safety to
-a rabbit of adult years, and had laid it down with authority that a
-moderate amount of tea-leaves and oatmeal might be allowed as an
-occasional dainty.
-
-After the attack on the strawberries, in which Speug greatly
-distinguished himself, and Bulldog urged him on with encouraging words,
-they had tarts and lemonade in the house, where not a sign of cane or
-tawse could be found. Bulldog drew the corks himself, and managed once
-to drench Speug gloriously, whereat that worthy wiped his face with his
-famous red handkerchief and was inordinately proud, while Nestie
-declared that the thing had been done on purpose, and Bulldog threatened
-him with the tawse for insulting his master.
-
-"Div ye think, Speug, ye could manage a piece of rock before ye go," and
-Bulldog produced the only rock that a Muirtown man will ever think worth
-eating--Fenwick's own very best, thick, and pure, and rich, and
-well-flavoured; and when Speug knew not whether to choose the
-peppermint, that is black and white, or the honey rock, which is brown
-and creamy, or the cinnamon, which in those days was red outside and
-white within, his host insisted that he should take a piece of each, and
-they would last him till he reached his home.
-
-"Speug," and Bulldog bade farewell to his pupil at the garden gate,
-"ye're the most aggravating little scoundrel in Muirtown Seminary, and
-the devilry that's in you I bear witness is bottomless; but ye're fine
-company, and ye 'ill, maybe, be a man yet, and Nestie and me will be
-glad to see ye when ye're no engaged with yir study. Ye 'ill no forget
-to come, Peter."
-
-Peter's tongue, which had been wagging freely among the rabbits, again
-forsook him, but he was able to indicate that he would seize an early
-opportunity of again paying his respects to Mr. Dugald MacKinnon in his
-own home; and when Bulldog thrashed him next day for not having prepared
-an exercise the night before, the incident only seemed to complete
-Speug's pride and satisfaction.
-
-
-
-
-THE DISGRACE OF MR. BYLES
-
-VI
-
-
-Bulldog's southern assistant had tried the patience of the Seminary by
-various efforts to improve its mind and manners, but when he proposed at
-the beginning of the autumn term to occupy Saturdays with botanical
-excursions to Kilspindie Woods, which, as everybody knows, are three
-miles from Muirtown, and a paradise of pheasants, it was felt that if
-there was any moral order in the universe something must happen. From
-the middle of September, when the school opened, on to the beginning of
-October, when football started, our spare time was given to kites, which
-we flew from the North Meadow in the equinoctial gales gloriously. Speug
-had one of heroic size, with the figure of a dragon upon it painted in
-blue and yellow and red--the red for the fire coming out of his
-mouth--and a tail of eight joints, ending in a bunch of hay fastened
-with a ribbon. None but a sportsman like Speug could have launched the
-monster from the ground--bigger than Peter by a foot--and nursed it
-through the lower spaces till it caught the wind, and held it in the
-higher as it tore upwards and forwards till the dragon was but the size
-of a man's hand in the clear autumn sky. Then Peter would lie down upon
-his back, with his hands below his head, and the stick with the kite
-string beneath his feet, and gaze up at the speck above, with an
-expression so lifted above this present world that a circle of juniors
-could only look at him with silent admiration and speculate whether they
-would ever become so good and great.
-
-It must not be thought, however, that kite-flying was chiefly done upon
-your back, for it gave endless opportunities for intricate manoeuvres
-and spectacular display. When Peter was in the vein he would collect
-twelve mighties--each with a kite worth seeing--and bringing the kites
-low enough for the glory of their size and tails to be visible they
-would turn and wheel and advance and retire, keeping line and distance
-with such accuracy that Sergeant McGlashan would watch the review with
-keen interest and afterwards give his weighty approval. Then the band
-would work their way up to the head of the Meadow in the teeth of a
-north-wester, and forming in line, with half a dozen yards between each
-boy, would let the kites go and follow them at the run as the kites tore
-through the air and almost pulled their owners' arms out of the sockets.
-It was so fine a demonstration that the women bleaching their clothes
-would pick up half a dozen of the goodman's shirts to let Speug keep his
-course--knowing very well that he would have kept it otherwise over the
-shirts--and golfers, who expect everyone to get out of their way on pain
-of sudden death, would stop upon the putting green to see the kites go
-down in the wind with the laddies red-faced and bareheaded at their
-heels. If the housewives shook their heads as they spread out the shirts
-on the grass again--weighing them down with clean stones that they might
-not follow the kites--it was with secret delight, for there is no
-wholesome woman who does not rejoice in a boy and regard his most
-vexatious mischief with charity. And old Major MacLeod, the keenest of
-golfers and the most touchy of Celts, declared that this condemned old
-Island was not dead yet when it could turn out such a gang of sturdy
-young ruffians. And it was instead of such a mighty ploy that Mr. Byles
-proposed to take the Seminary for a botanical excursion.
-
-It was in the mathematical class-room that Mr. Byles announced the new
-departure, and, even if Bulldog had not been keeping watch with an
-inscrutable countenance, the school was too much amazed to interrupt.
-Having touched on the glories of the creation amid which we lived, Mr.
-Byles pointed out, in what the newspapers call "neat and well-chosen
-terms," that it was not enough to learn mathematics as they all did so
-diligently--Jock Howieson's eye turned instinctively to Bulldog's
-cane--but they must also know some natural science in order to become,
-as he hoped they would, cultured men--Speug was just able to cast a
-longing glance at Thomas John. That no pursuit was easier and more
-delightful than botany, especially among wild flowers. That on Saturday
-he proposed to go with as many as would join him to ransack the
-treasures of Kilspindie Woods. That these woods were very rich, he
-believed, in flowers, among which he mentioned wild geraniums--at which
-the school began to recover and rustle. That the boys might dry the
-geraniums and make books for Christmas presents with them, and that he
-hoped to see a herbarium in the Seminary containing all the wild flowers
-of the district. The school was now getting into good spirits, and
-Bulldog allowed his eye to fall on Speug. That any boy who desired to
-improve his mind was to put on his oldest suit and bring a bag to carry
-the plants in and be in front of the Seminary at nine to-morrow. Then
-Bulldog brought his cane down on the desk with energy and dismissed the
-school, and Nestie told Peter that his mouth had begun to twitch.
-
-Outside the school gathered together on the terrace around the Russian
-guns, which was our Forum, and after five seconds' pause, during which
-we gathered inspiration from each others' faces, a great shout of
-laughter went up to the sky, full-toned, unanimous, prolonged. Any sense
-of humour in the Seminary was practical, and Mr. Byles's botany class,
-with expeditions, was irresistible.
-
-"Geranniums!" cried Howieson, who was immensely tickled; "it cowes a'.
-An' what was the ither flooer--'herbarries'? It's michty; it'ill be
-poppies an' mustard seed next. Speug, ye'ill be making a book for a
-present to Bulldog."
-
-"Tak care o' yirsel," Bauldie shouted to the Dowbiggins, who were making
-off, as mass meetings did not agree with them, "an' see ye dinna wet yir
-feet or dirty yir hands. Ye'ill get yir wheeps at home if ye do. Give us
-a bit o' Byles, Nestie," and then there was instant silence, for Nestie
-had a nice little trick of mimicry which greatly endeared him to a
-school where delicate gifts were rare.
-
-"S-silence, if you please," and Nestie held up his hand with Mr. Byles's
-favourite polite deprecating gesture. "I hear a smile. Remember, d-dear
-boys, that this is a serious s-subject. Do p-please sit quiet, Peter
-McGuffie; your fidgetin' is very t-tryin' indeed, and I 'ope, I mean
-h-hope, you will make an effort to l-learn. This, my l-lads, is a common
-object of Nature which I 'old, that is hold, in my h-hands--Howieson, I
-must ask you not to annoy Thomas John Dowbiggin--the c-colour is a
-lovely gold, and yet--no talking, if you please, it is r-rude--we pass
-it every day without n-notice. Each boy may take a dandelion h-home to
-his sister. Now go hout ... or rather out, quietly."
-
-"Gosh, it's just Byles to the ground!" cried Bauldie; and Johnston
-passed a half stick of gundy to Nestie to refresh him after his labours.
-"Are ony o' you chaps goin'? It wud be worth seein' Byles traking thro'
-the Kilspindie Woods, with thae bleatin' sheep o' Dowbiggins at his
-heels, carryin' an airmful o' roots and sic like."
-
-"You'ill no catch me tramping oot at the tail o' Byles and a litter o'
-Dowbiggins!"--and Jock was very emphatic. "Dod, it'ill just be like a
-procession o' MacMuldrow's lassies, two and two, and maybe airm in
-airm!"
-
-This fearful and malignant suggestion settled the matter for the
-Seminary, as a score of its worthies marching across the bridge in the
-interests of science, like a boarding-school, would be a scandal for
-ever. So it was agreed that a body of sympathisers should see the Byles
-expedition off next morning, and then hold a field day of kites in the
-meadow.
-
-The deterioration of the best is the worst, and that means that when a
-prim, conventional, respectable man takes in his head to dress as a
-Bohemian, the effect will be remarkable. Byles had been anxious to show
-that he could be quite the gay rustic when he pleased, and he was got up
-in a cap, much crushed, and a grey flannel shirt, with a collar
-corresponding, and no tie, and a suit of brown tweeds, much stained with
-futile chemical experiments. He was also equipped with a large canvas
-bag, slung over his shoulder, and a hammock net, which he explained
-could be slung from a tree and serve as a resting-place if it were damp
-beneath. The Dowbiggins had entered into the spirit of the thing, and
-were in clothes reserved for their country holidays. They had each an
-umbrella, large and bulgy, and altogether were a pair of objects to whom
-no one would have lent a shilling. Cosh, whose attack on Nestie made him
-a social outcast, had declared himself a convert to natural science, and
-was sucking up to Byles, and two harmless little chaps, who thought that
-they would like to know something about flowers, made up the Botanical
-Society.
-
-They were a lonely little group standing on the terrace, while Mr. Byles
-was securing a trowel and other instruments of war from his room, but a
-large and representative gathering of the Seminary did their best to
-cheer and instruct them.
-
-Howieson insisted that the bottle of milk which bulged from the bag of
-the younger Dowbiggin contained spirituous liquors, and warned the two
-juniors to keep clear of him and to resist every temptation to drinking.
-He also expressed an earnest hope that a rumour flying round the school
-about tobacco was not true. But the smell on Dowbiggin's clothes was
-horrid. Cosh was affectionately exhorted to have a tender care of his
-health and personal appearance, not to bully Lord Kilspindie's
-gamekeepers, nor to put his foot into a steel trap, nor to meddle with
-the rabbits, nor to fall into the Tay, but above all things not to tell
-lies.
-
-Thomas John was beset with requests--that he would leave a lock of his
-hair in case he should not return, that he would mention the name of the
-pawn-broker from whom he got his clothes, that he would bring home a
-bouquet of wild flowers for Bulldog, that he would secure a supply of
-turnips to make lanterns for Halloween, that he would be kind to Mr.
-Byles and see that he took a rest in his net, that he would be careful
-to gather up any "h's" Mr. Byles might drop on the road, and that he
-should not use bad language under any circumstances.
-
-"Never mind what those boys say, Thomas," said Mr. Byles, who had come
-out in time to catch the last exhortation: "it is far better to
-himprove, I mean cultivate, the mind than to fly kites like a set of
-children; but we all hope that you will have a nice fly, don't we,
-boys?" And sarcasm from so feeble a quarter might have provoked a
-demonstration had not Byles and his flock been blotted out by an amazing
-circumstance. As the botanists started, Speug, who had maintained an
-unusual silence all morning, joined the body along with Nestie, and gave
-Mr. Byles to understand that he also was hungering for scientific
-research. After their friends had recovered themselves they buzzed round
-the two, who were following the Dowbiggins with an admirable affectation
-of sedateness, but received no satisfaction. Speug contented himself
-with warning off a dozen henchmen who had fallen in by him with the idea
-of forming a mock procession, and then giving them a wink of
-extraordinary suggestiveness. But Nestie was more communicative, and
-explained the situation at length----
-
-"Peter was a b-botanist all the time, but he did not know it; he fairly
-loves g-geranniums, and is sorry that he wasted his time on k-kites and
-snowballs. We are going to himprove our m-minds, and we don't want you
-to trouble us." But this was not knowledge.
-
-It remained a mystery, and when Jock and Bauldie tailed off at the
-bridge, and Speug, halfway across, turned round and winked again, it was
-with regret that they betook themselves to their kites, and more than
-once they found themselves casting longing glances to the distant woods,
-where Speug was now pursuing the study of botany.
-
-"Bauldie," said Jock suddenly, as the kites hung motionless in the sky,
-"this is weel enough, but tak' my word for't it's nothing to the game
-they're playin' in yon woods."
-
-"Div ye mean howkin' geranniums? for I canna see muckle game in that: I
-would as soon dig potatoes." Bauldie, though a man of his hands, had a
-prosaic mind and had little imagination.
-
-"Geranniums! ger---- havers, that's no' what Speug is after, you bet.
-He's got a big splore (exploit) on hand or he never crossed Muirtown
-Brig in such company. Man, Bauldie, I peety Byles, I do. Peter'ill lose
-the lot o' them in the woods or he'ill stick them in a bog, or"--and
-Jock could hardly hold his kite--"what div ye say to this, man? he'ill
-row them over to Woody Island and leave them there till Monday, with
-naething but bread and milk and the net to sleep in." And the joy of
-Jock and Bauldie at this cheerful prospect was rather a testimony to
-their faith in Peter's varied ability than a proof of sympathy with
-their fellow-creatures.
-
-If Speug was playing the fox he gave no sign on the way to the woods,
-for he was a model of propriety and laid himself out to be agreeable. He
-showed an unwonted respect for the feelings of the Dowbiggins, so that
-these two young gentlemen relaxed the vigilant attention with which they
-usually regarded Speug, and he was quite affable with Cosh. As for the
-master, Peter simply placed himself at Mr. Byles's service, expatiating
-on the extent of the woods and their richness in flowers--"just fair
-scatted up wi' geranniums and the rest o' them:" offering to take the
-expedition by the nearest way to the treasures, and especially insisting
-on the number and beauty and tameness of the pheasants, till Mr. Byles
-was charmed and was himself surprised at the humanising influence of
-scientific pursuits.
-
-Nor had Peter boasted vainly of his wood lore, for he led them by so
-direct a way that, before they came to the place of flowers, the
-expedition--except the two little chaps, whom Speug sent round in
-Nestie's charge, to a selected rendezvous as being next door to
-babies--had climbed five dykes, all with loose stones, fought through
-three thickets very prickly indeed, crawled underneath two hedges,
-crossed three burns, one coming up to the knees, and mired themselves
-times without number. Cosh had jostled against Speug in leaping from one
-dry spot to another and come down rolling in the mud, which made his
-appearance from behind wonderful; Speug, in helping Thomas John out of a
-very entangling place, had been so zealous that the seat had been almost
-entirely detached from Thomas John's trousers, and although Mr. Byles
-had done his best with pins, the result was not edifying; his brother's
-straw hat had fallen in the exact spot where Speug landed as he jumped
-from a wall, and was of no further service, and so the younger
-Dowbiggin--"who is so refined in his ways," as his mother used to
-say--wore as his headgear a handkerchief which had been used for
-cleaning the mud from his clothes. Upon Mr. Byles, whom fate might have
-spared, misfortunes had accumulated. His trousers had been sadly mangled
-from the knee downwards as he crawled through a hole, and had to be
-wound round his legs with string, and although Speug had pulled his cap
-out of a branch, he had done his work so hastily as to leave the peak
-behind, and he was so clumsy, with the best intentions, that he allowed
-another branch to slip, which caught Mr. Byles on the side of the head
-and left a mark above his eye, which distinctly suggested a prizefight
-to anyone not acquainted with that gentleman's blameless character.
-Peter himself had come unscathed from the perils of land and water, save
-a dash of mud here and there and a suspicion of wet about his feet,
-which shows how bad people fare better than good. The company was so
-bedraggled and discouraged that their minds did not seem set on wild
-flowers, and in these circumstances Peter, ever obliging and thoughtful,
-led the botanists to a pleasant glade, away from thickets and bogs,
-where the pheasants made their home and swarmed by hundreds. Mr. Byles
-was much cheered by this change of environment, and grew eloquent on the
-graceful shape and varied plumage of the birds. They were so friendly
-that they gathered round the party, which was not wonderful, as a keeper
-fed them every day, but which Mr. Byles explained was due to the
-instinct of the beautiful creatures, "who know, my dear boys, that we
-love them." He enlarged on the cruelty of sport, and made the Dowbiggins
-promise that they would never shoot pheasants or any other game, and
-there is no reason to doubt that they kept their word, as they did not
-know one end of a gun from another, and would no sooner have dared to
-fire one than they would have whistled on Sunday. A happy thought
-occurred to Mr. Byles, and he suggested that they should now have their
-lunch and feed the birds with the fragments. He was wondering also
-whether it would be wrong to snare one of the birds in the net, just to
-hold it in the hand and let it go again.
-
-[Illustration: "THEY WERE SO FRIENDLY THAT THEY GATHERED ROUND THE
-PARTY."]
-
-When things had come to this pass--and he never had expected anything so
-good--Speug withdrew unobtrusively behind a clump of trees, and then ran
-swiftly to a hollow where Nestie was waiting with the juniors.
-
-"Noo, my wee men," said Peter to the innocents, "div ye see that path?
-Cut along it as hard as ye can leg, and it 'ill bring you to the
-Muirtown Road, and never rest till ye be in your own houses. For Byles
-and these Dowbiggins are carryin' on sic a game wi' Lord Kilspindie's
-pheasants that I'm expectin' to see them in Muirtown jail before nicht.
-Ye may be thankful," concluded Peter piously, "that I savit ye from sic
-company."
-
-"Nestie," Peter continued, when the boys had disappeared, "I've never
-clypit (told tales) once since I cam to the Seminary, and it's no' a
-nice job, but div ye no' think that the head keeper should know that
-poachers are in the preserves?"
-
-"It's a d-duty, Peter," as they ran to the keeper's house, "especially
-when there's a g-gang of them and such b-bad-looking fellows--v-vice
-just written on their faces. It's horried to see boys so young and so
-w-wicked."
-
-"What young prodigals are yon comin' skelpin' along, as if the dogs were
-aifter them?" and the head keeper came out from the kennels. "Oh, it's
-you, Speug--and what are you doin' in the woods the day? there's no eggs
-now." For sporting people are a confederacy, and there was not a
-coachman or groom, or keeper or ratcatcher, within twelve miles of
-Muirtown, who did not know Mr. McGuffie senior, and not many who did not
-also have the acquaintance of his hopeful son.
-
-"Nestie and me were just out for a run to keep our wind richt, an' we
-cam on a man and three boys among the pheasants in the low park."
-
-"Among the what? Meddlin' with Lord Kilspindie's birds?"
-
-"Well, I dinna ken if they were juist poachin', but they were feedin'
-them, and we saw a net."
-
-"Sandie," shouted the head keeper, "and you, Tom, get up out of yir beds
-this meenut; the poachers are after the pheasants. My word, takin' them
-alive, as I'm a livin' man, to sell them for stock: and broad daylight;
-it beats everything. He 'ill be an old hand, frae Dundee maist likely.
-And the impidence o't, eleven o'clock in the forenoon an' the end o'
-September. Dod: it's a depairture in poachin'." And as the sight of Mr.
-Byles burst on his view, surrounded by trustful birds, and the two
-Dowbiggins trying very feebly to drop the net on a specially venturesome
-one, the head keeper almost lost the power of speech.
-
-"Dinna let us interrupt you," and Mr. Byles looked up to see three armed
-keepers commanding their helpless party, and one of them purple with
-rage. "I hope we don't intrude; maybe we could give you a hand in
-catchin' the birds, and if a spring-cart would be of ony use ...
-confound your cheek!
-
-"Gathering flowers, are ye, and gave the pheasants a biscuit, did ye,
-and the boys thought they would like to stroke one, would they? How is
-that, lads? I've seen two or three poachers in my time, but for
-brazen-faced lyin' I've never seen your match. Maybe you're a
-Sabbath-school out for a trip, or an orphan asylum?
-
-"Assistant mathematical master at the Seminary, that's what you are, is
-it, ye awfu' like blackguard, an' the laddies are the sons o' a
-respectable Free Kirk minister, the dirty dogs? Are ye sure ye're no'
-the principal o' Edinburgh University? Tak' yir time and try again. I'm
-enjoying it. Is't by the hundred ye sell them, and wud it be a leeberty
-to ask for whose preserves? Dash the soople tongue o' ye.
-
-"If ye dare to put yir hand in a pocket, I'll lodge a charge o' shot in
-ye: we'ill hae nae pistol-work in Kilspindie Woods. Come along wi' ye,
-professor an' students, an' I'll give ye a ride into Muirtown, an'
-we'ill just be in time to catch the magistrate. He hasna tried a learned
-institution like this since he mounted the bench. March in front, but
-dinna try to run, or it will be the waur for ye. Ma certes, sic a band
-o' waufies!"
-
-Then those two officers of justice, Peter and Nestie, having seen all
-without being seen, now started for Muirtown to gather the kite-players
-and as many of the Seminary as could be found to see the arrival of the
-botanists. They were brought in a large spring-cart--Mr. Byles seated
-between the head keeper and the driver, in front, and the other three
-huddled like calves in the space behind--a mass of mud, tatters, and
-misery, from which the solemn, owl-like face of Thomas John, whose cap
-was now gone also, looked out in hopeless amazement. As they were handed
-over to the police the Seminary, which had been at first struck dumb,
-recovered speech and expressed itself with much vivacity.
-
-"Who would have thought Byles had as much spirit? Sall, he 'ill be
-rinnin' horses at Muirtown Races yet;" "For ony sake walk backwards,
-Thomas--yir breeks are barely decent;" "The pheasants have been hard on
-yir legs, Cosh;" "Where's the geranniums?" "Has his Lordship kept yir
-bonnet, Dowbiggin?" "It 'ill be a year's hard labour." For boys are only
-in the savage state, and the discomfiture of such immaculate
-propriety was very sweet to the Seminary.
-
-[Illustration: "THEY WERE BROUGHT IN A LARGE SPRING CART."]
-
-So powerful was the evidence of the head keeper, who saw in Mr. Byles's
-effort a new and cunning form of poaching he was not prepared for, and
-so weird was the appearance of the prisoners, that the Bailie on duty
-was for sentencing them at once, and would hardly wait for the testimony
-of friends. It took the sworn testimony of the Rector of the Seminary
-and poor Dr. Dowbiggin, summoned from their studies in hot haste and
-confusion of face, to clear the accused, and even then the worthy
-magistrate thought it proper, as Scots magistrates do, to administer a
-rebuke and warning so solemn that it became one of the treasures of
-memory for all Seminary lads.
-
-"After what I have heard I cannot convict you, and you may go this time;
-but let me never see you here again in such circumstances. It's fearsome
-to think that an educated man"--this to Byles--"instead of setting an
-example to the laddies under your charge, should be accused of a mean
-and cunning offence against the laws of the land, and I cannot look at
-your face without having grave doubts. And to think that the sons of a
-respected minister of the kirk should be found in such company, and with
-all the appearance of vagrants, must be a great trial to their father,
-and I am sure he has the sympathy of Muirtown. As for you, Cosh, I
-never expected to see the son of a brother bailie in such a position.
-All I can hope is that this will be a lesson to you to keep clear of
-evil companions and evil ways, and that you may live to be a respectable
-citizen. But do not presume on your escape to-day--that is all I have to
-say."
-
-Outside the court-room the head keeper caught Speug and gave him his
-mind.
-
-"Ye're a limb o' Satan, Peter McGuffie, and that English-speakin' imp is
-little better. My belief is that this has been a pliskie (trick) o'
-yours frae beginning to end, and I just give ye one word o'
-advice--don't let me catch you in Kilspindie Woods, or it will be the
-worse for you."
-
-
-
-
-THE COUNT
-
-VII
-
-
-If you excluded two or three Englishmen who spoke with an accent
-suggestive of an effeminate character, and had a fearsome habit of
-walking on the Sabbath, and poor "Moossy," the French master at the
-Seminary, who was a quantity not worth considering, the foreign element
-in Muirtown during the classical days consisted of the Count. He never
-claimed to be a Count, and used at first to deprecate the title, but he
-declined the honour of our title with so much dignity that it seemed
-only to prove his right, and by and by he answered to the name with
-simply a slight wave of his hand which he meant for deprecation, but
-which came to be considered a polite acknowledgement. His real name was
-not known in Muirtown--not because he had not given it, but because it
-could not be pronounced, being largely composed of x's and k's, with an
-irritating parsimony of vowels. We had every opportunity of learning to
-spell it, if we could not pronounce it, for it was one of the Count's
-foreign ways to carry a card-case in his ticket-pocket, and on being
-introduced to an inhabitant of Muirtown to offer his card with the right
-hand while he took off his hat with the left, and bowed almost to a
-right angle. Upon those occasions a solid man like Bailie MacFarlane
-would take hold of the card cautiously, not knowing whether so unholy a
-name might not go off and shatter his hand; and during the Count's
-obeisance, which lasted for several seconds, the Bailie regarded him
-with grave disapproval. The mind of Muirtown, during this performance of
-the Count's, used to be divided between regret that any human being
-should condescend to such tricks, and profound thankfulness that
-Muirtown was not part of a foreign country where people were brought up
-with the manners of poodles. Our pity for foreigners was nourished by
-the manner of the Count's dress, which would have been a commonplace on
-a _boulevard_, but astounded Muirtown on its first appearance, and
-always lent an element of piquant interest to our streets. His perfectly
-brushed hat, broadish in the brim and curled at the sides, which he wore
-at the faintest possible angle, down to his patent leather boots, which
-it was supposed he obtained in Paris, and wore out at the rate of a pair
-a month--all was unique and wonderful, but it was his frock-coat which
-stimulated conversation. It was so tight and fitted so perfectly,
-revealing the outlines of his slender form, and there was such an
-indecent absence of waist--waist was a strong point with Muirtown men,
-and in the case of persons who had risen to office, like the Provost,
-used to run to fifty inches--that a report went round the town that the
-Count was a woman. This speculation was confirmed rather than refuted by
-the fact that the Count smoked cigarettes, which he made with Satanic
-ingenuity while you were looking at him, and that he gave a display of
-fencing with the best swordsman of a Dragoon regiment in the barracks,
-for it was shrewdly pointed out that those were just the very
-accomplishments of French "Cutties." This scandal might indeed have
-crystallised into an accepted fact, and the Provost been obliged to
-command the Count's departure, had it not been for the shrewdness and
-good nature of the "Fair Maid of Muirtown." There always was a fair maid
-in Muirtown--and in those days she was fairest of her succession: let
-this flower lie on her grave. She declared to her friends that she had
-watched the Count closely and had never once seen him examine a woman's
-dress when the woman wasn't looking; and after that no person of
-discernment in Muirtown had any doubt about the Count's sex. It was,
-however, freely said--and that story was never contradicted--that he
-wore stays, and every effort was made to obtain the evidence of his
-landlady. Her gossips tried Mistress Jamieson with every wile of
-conversation, and even lawyers' wives, pretending to inquire for rooms
-for a friend, used to lead the talk round to the Count's habits; but
-that worthy matron was loyal to her lodger, and was not quite insensible
-to the dignity of a mystery.
-
-"Na, na, Mistress Lunan, I see what you're after; but beggin' your
-pardon, a landlady's a landlady, and my mouth's closed. The Count disna
-ken the difference atween Saturday and Sabbath, and the money he wastes
-on tobacco juist goes to ma heart; but he never had the blessin' of a
-Gospel ministry nor the privileges of Muirtown when he was young. As
-regards stays, whether he wears them or disna wear them I'm no' prepared
-to say, for I thank goodness that I've never yet opened a lodger's boxes
-nor entered a lodger's room when he was dressin'. The Count pays his
-rent in advance every Monday morning; he wanted to pay on Sabbath, but I
-told him it was not a lawful day. He gives no trouble in the house, and
-if his doctor ordered him to wear stays to support his spine, which I'm
-no' sayin' he did, Mistress Lunan, it's no concern o' mine, and the
-weather is inclining to snow."
-
-His dress was a perfect fabric of art, however it may have been
-constructed; and it was a pleasant sight to see the Count go down our
-main street on a summer afternoon, approving himself with a side glance
-in the mirrors of the larger shops, striking an attitude at our
-bookseller's when a new print was exposed in the window, waving his
-cigarette and blowing the smoke through his nostrils, which was
-considered a "tempting of Providence," making his respectful salutations
-to every lady whom he knew, and responding with "Celestial, my friend!"
-to Bailie MacFarlane's greeting of "Fine growing weather." When he
-sailed past McGuffie's stable-yard, like Solomon in all his glory, that
-great man, who always persisted in regarding the Count as a sporting
-character, would touch the rim of his hat with his forefinger--an honour
-he paid to few--and, after the Count had disappeared, would say "Gosh!"
-with much relish. This astounding spectacle very early attracted the
-attention of the Seminary boys, and during his first summer in Muirtown
-it was agreed that he would make an excellent target for snowball
-practice during next winter. The temptation was not one which could have
-been resisted, and it is to be feared that the Count would have been
-confined to the house when the snow was on the ground had it not been
-for an incident which showed him in a new light, and established him,
-stays or no stays, in the respect of the Seminary for ever. There had
-been a glorious fight on the first day of the war with the "Pennies,"
-and when they were beaten, a dozen of them, making a brave rearguard
-fight, took up their position with the Count's windows as their
-background. There were limits to license even in those brave old days,
-and it was understood that the windows of houses, especially private
-houses, and still more especially in the vicinity of the Seminary,
-should not be broken, and if they were broken the culprits were hunted
-down and interviewed by "Bulldog" at length. When the "Pennies" placed
-themselves under the protection of the Count's glass, which was really
-an unconscious act of meanness on their part, the Seminary distinctly
-hesitated; but Speug was in command, and he knew no scruples as he knew
-no fear.
-
-"Dash the windows!" cried the Seminary captain; and when the "Pennies"
-were driven along the street, the windows had been so effectually dashed
-that there was not a sound pane of glass in the Count's sitting-room. As
-the victorious army returned to their capital, and the heat of battle
-died down, some anxiety about to-morrow arose even in minds not given to
-care, for Mistress Jamieson was not the woman to have her glass broken
-for nothing, and it was shrewdly suspected that the Count, with all his
-dandyism, would not take this affront lightly. As a matter of fact,
-Mistress Jamieson made a personal call upon the Rector that evening, and
-explained with much eloquence to that timid, harassed scholar that,
-unless his boys were kept in better order, Muirtown would not be a place
-for human habitation; and before she left she demanded the blood of the
-offenders; she also compared Muirtown in its present condition to Sodom
-and Gomorrah. As the Rector was always willing to leave discipline in
-the capable hands of Bulldog, and as the chief sinners would almost
-certainly be in his class in the forenoon, the Count, who had witnessed
-the whole battle from a secure corner in his sitting-room, and had
-afterwards helped Mistress Jamieson to clear away the _débris_, went to
-give his evidence and identify the culprit. He felt it to be a dramatic
-occasion, and he rose to its height; and the school retained a grateful
-recollection of Bulldog and the Count side by side--the Count carrying
-himself with all the grace and dignity of a foreign ambassador come to
-settle an international dispute, and Bulldog more austere than ever,
-because he hated a "tellpyet," and yet knew that discipline must be
-maintained.
-
-The Count explained with many flourishes that he was desolated to come
-for the first time to this so distinguished a Gymnasium upon an errand
-so distasteful, but that a lady had laid her commands on him ("Dis the
-body mean Lucky Jamieson?" whispered Speug to a neighbour), and he had
-ever been a slave of the sex (Bulldog at this point regarded him with a
-disdain beyond words.) The Rector of this place of learning had also
-done him, an obscure person, the honour of an invitation to come and
-assist at this function of justice; and although, as the Count
-explained, he was no longer a soldier, obedience was still the breath of
-his nostrils. Behold him, therefore, the servant of justice, ready to be
-questioned or to lay down his life for law; and the Count bowed again to
-Bulldog, placing his hand upon his heart, and then leant in a becoming
-attitude against the desk, tapping his shining boots with his cane, and
-feeling that he had acquitted himself with credit.
-
-"We're sorry to bring ye out on such a day, sir," and Bulldog's glance
-conveyed that such a figure as the Count's ought not to be exposed in
-snowtime; "but we'll not keep ye long, and Ill juist state the
-circumstances with convenient brevity. The boys of the Seminary are
-allowed to exercise themselves in the snowtime within limits. If they
-fight wi' neighbouring schools, it's a maitter of regret; but if they
-break windows, they're liable to the maist extreme penalty. Now, I'm
-informed that some of the young scoundrels--and I believe the very
-laddies are in this class-room at this meenut" (Speug made no effort to
-catch Bulldog's eye, and Howieson's attention was entirely occupied with
-mathematical figures)--"have committed a breach of the peace at Mistress
-Jamieson's house. What I ask you, sir, to do"--and Bulldog regarded the
-Count with increasing disfavour, as he thought of such a popinjay giving
-evidence against his laddies--"is, to look round this class-room and
-point out, so far as ye may be able, any boy or boys who drove a
-snowball or snowballs through the windows of your residence."
-
-During this judicial utterance the eyes of the Count wandered over the
-school with the most provoking intelligence, and conveyed even to the
-dullest, with a vivacity of countenance of which Muirtown was not
-capable, that Bulldog was a tiresome old gentleman, that the boys were a
-set of sad dogs, capable of any mischief, that some of them were bound
-to get a first-class thrashing, and worst of all that he, the Count,
-knew who would get it, and that he was about to give evidence in an
-instant with the utmost candour and elegance of manner. When his glance
-lighted on Speug it was with such a cheerful and unhesitating
-recognition that Speug was almost abashed, and knew for certain that for
-him at least, there could be no escape; while Howieson, plunging into
-arithmetic of his own accord for once, calculated rapidly what would be
-his share of the broken glass. Neither of them would have denied what he
-did to save himself twenty thrashings; but they shared Bulldog's disgust
-that a free-born Scot should be convicted on the evidence of a
-foreigner, whom they always associated in his intellectual gifts and
-tricks of speech with the monkey, which used to go round seated on the
-top of our solitary barrel-organ.
-
-"When it is your pleasure, sir," said Bulldog sternly; and there was a
-silence that could be felt, whilst Speug already saw himself pointed out
-with the Count's cane.
-
-The shutters went suddenly down on the Count's face; he became grave and
-anxious, and changed from a man of the world, who had been exchanging a
-jest with a few gay Bohemians, into a witness in the Court of Justice.
-
-"Assuredly, monsieur, I will testify upon what you call my soul and
-conscience," and the Count indicated with his hand where both those
-faculties were contained. "I will select the boy who had audacity, I
-will say profanity, to break the windows of my good friend and hostess,
-Madame Jamieson."
-
-The Count gave himself to the work of selection, but there was no longer
-a ray of intelligence in his face. He was confused and perplexed, he
-looked here and he looked there, he made little impatient gestures, he
-said a bad French word, he flung up a hand in despair, he turned to
-Bulldog with a frantic gesture, as of a man who thought he could have
-done something at once, and found he could not do it at all. Once more
-he faced the school, and then Speug, with that instinct of acute
-observation which belongs to a savage, began to understand, and gave
-Howieson a suggestive kick.
-
-"As a man of honour," said the Count with much solemnity, "I give my
-testimony, and I declare that I do not see one of the boys who did
-forget themselves yesterday and did offer the insult of an assault to
-Madame's domicile."
-
-And it would have been curious if he had seen the boys, for the Count
-was looking over their heads, and studying the distant view of the
-meadow and the River Tay with evident interest and appreciation.
-
-The mind of Speug was now clear upon the Count, and Bulldog also
-understood, and in two seconds, so quick is the flash of sympathy
-through a mass of boy life, the youngest laddie in the mathematical
-class-room knew that, although the Count might have had the misfortune
-to be born in foreign parts, and did allow himself to dress like a
-dancing-master, inside that coat, and the stays too, if he had them on,
-there was the heart of a man who would not tell tales on any fellow, and
-who also liked his bit of fun.
-
-"It's a peety, Count," said Bulldog, with poorly concealed satisfaction,
-"that ye're no' in a poseetion to recognise the culprits, for if they're
-no' here my conviction is they're no' to be found in Muirtown. We can
-ask no more of ye, sir, and we're much obleeged for yir attendance."
-
-"It is a felicitous affair," said the Count, "which has the fortune to
-introduce me to this charming company," and the Count bowed first to
-Bulldog and then to the school with such a marked indication in one
-direction that Speug almost blushed. "My sorrow is to be so stupid a
-witness; but, monsieur, you will allow me to pay the penalty of my poor
-eyesight. It will be my pleasure," and again the Count bowed in all
-directions, "to replace the glass in Madame's house, and the incident,
-pouf! it is forgotten."
-
-There was a swift glance from all parts of the class-room, and
-permission was read in Bulldog's face. Next instant the mathematical
-class-room was rent with applause, such as could only be given when
-fifty such lads wanted to express their feelings, and Speug led the
-circus.
-
-"Ye will allow me to say, sir," and now Bulldog came as near as possible
-to a bow, "that ye have acted this day as a gentleman, and so far as the
-boys of Muirtown Seminary are concerned ye're free to come and go among
-us as ye please."
-
-The departure of the Count, still bowing, with Bulldog attending him to
-the door and offering him overshoes to cover the polished leather boots,
-was a sight to behold, and the work done for the rest of the morning was
-not worth mentioning.
-
-During the lunch hour the school was harangued in short, pithy terms by
-Speug, and in obedience to his invitation Muirtown Seminary proceeded in
-a solid mass to the Count's residence, where they gave a volley of
-cheers. The Count was more gratified than by anything that had happened
-to him since he came to Muirtown; and throwing up one of the newly
-repaired windows he made an eloquent speech, in which he referred to Sir
-Walter Scott and Queen Mary and the Fair Maid of Perth, among other
-romantic trifles; declared that the fight between the "Pennies" and the
-Seminary was worthy of the great Napoleon; pronounced Speug to be _un
-brave garçon_; expressed his regret that he could not receive the
-school in his limited apartments, but invited them to cross with him to
-the Seminary tuck-shop, where he entertained the whole set to Mistress
-MacWhae's best home-made ginger-beer. He also desired that Mistress
-Jamieson should come forward to the window with him and bow to the
-school, while he held her hand--which the Count felt would have been a
-really interesting tableau. It certainly would have been, but Mistress
-Jamieson refused to assist in the most decided terms.
-
-"Me stand wi' the Count at an open window, hand in hand wi' him, and
-bowin', if ye please, to thae blackguard laddies? Na, na; I'm a widow o'
-good character, and a member o' the Free Kirk, and it would ill set me
-to play such tricks. But I'll say this for the Count--he behaved
-handsome; and I'm judgin' the'll no' be another pane o' glass broken in
-my house so long as the Count is in it." And there never was.
-
-It were not possible to imagine anything more different than a Muirtown
-boy and the Count; but boys judge by an instinct which never fails
-within its own range, and Muirtown Seminary knew that, with all his
-foreign ways, the Count was a man. Legends gathered around him and
-flourished exceedingly, being largely invented by Nestie, and offered
-for consumption at the mouth of the pistol by Speug, who let it be
-understood that to deny or even to smile at Nestie's most incredible
-invention would be a ground of personal offence. The Count was in turn
-a foreign nobleman, who had fallen in love with the Emperor of Austria's
-daughter and had been exiled by the imperial parent, but that the
-Princess was true to the Count, and that any day he might be called from
-Mistress Jamieson's lodgings to the palace of Vienna; that he was
-himself a king of some mysterious European State, who had been driven
-out by conspirators, but whose people were going to restore him, and
-that some day Speug would be staying with the Count in his royal abode
-and possibly sitting beside him on the throne. During this romance Speug
-felt it right to assume an air of demure modesty, which was quite
-consistent with keeping a watchful eye on any impertinent young rascal
-who might venture to jeer, when Speug would politely ask him what he was
-laughing at, and offer to give him something to laugh for. That the
-Count was himself a conspirator, and the head of a secret society which
-extended all over Europe, with signs and passwords, and that whenever
-any tyrant became intolerable, the warrant for his death was sent from
-Mistress Jamieson's. Whenever one fable grew hackneyed Nestie produced
-another, and it was no longer necessary in Muirtown Seminary to buy
-Indian tales or detective stories, for the whole library of fiction was
-now bound up and walking about in the Count.
-
-[Illustration: "WATCHING A BATTLE ROYAL BETWEEN THE TOPS."]
-
-Between him and the boys there grew up a fast friendship, and he was
-never thoroughly happy now unless he was with his "jolly dogs." He
-attended every cricket match, and at last, after he had learned how,
-kept the score, giving a cheer at every new run and tearing his hair
-when any of his boys were bowled out. He rushed round the football field
-without his cane, and generally without his hat; and high above all
-cheers could be heard his "Bravo--bravo, forwards! Speug!" as that
-enterprising player cleft his way through the opponent's ranks. It
-mattered nothing to the Count that his boots were ruined, and his
-speckless clothes soiled, he would not have cared though he had burst
-his stays, so long as the "dogs" won, and he could go up in glory with
-them to Janet MacWhae's and drink to their health in flowing
-ginger-beer. During the play hour his walk seemed ever to bring him to
-the North Meadow, and if a ball by accident, for none would have done it
-by intention, knocked off the Count's hat, he cried "Hoor-r-rah!" in his
-own pronunciation and bowed in response to this mark of attention. It
-was a pretty sight to see him bending forward, his hands resting on his
-knees, watching a battle royal between the tops of Speug and Howieson;
-and if anything could be better it was to see the Count trying to spin a
-top himself, and expostulating with it in unknown tongues.
-
-As the boys came to the school in the morning and went home in the
-evening up Breadalbane Street, the Count was always sitting at one of
-the windows which had been broken, ready to wave his hand to any one who
-saluted him, and in the afternoon he would often open the window to get
-the school news and to learn whether there would be a match on Saturday.
-As time went on this alliance told upon the Count's outer man; he never
-lost his gay manner, nor his pretty little waist, nor could he ever have
-been taken for a Scot, nor ever, if he had lived to the age of
-Methuselah, have been made an elder of the Kirk; but his boots grew
-thicker, though they were always neat, and his clothes grew rougher,
-though they were always well made, and his ties became quieter, and his
-week-day hat was like that of other men, and, except on Sundays,
-Muirtown never saw the glory of the former days. With his new interest
-in life, everyone noticed that the Count had grown simpler and kindlier,
-and Muirtown folk, who used to laugh at him with a flavour of contempt,
-began to love him through their boys. He would walk home with Bulldog on
-a summer evening, the strangest pair that ever went together; and it was
-said that many little improvements for the comfort of the lads, and many
-little schemes for their happiness at Muirtown Seminary, were due to the
-Count. It was believed that the time did come when he could have
-returned to his own land, but that he did not go because he was a lonely
-man and had found his friends in Muirtown; and when he died, now many
-years ago, he left his little all for the benefit of his "jolly dogs,"
-and the Count, who had no mourners of his blood, was followed to his
-grave by every boy at Muirtown Seminary.
-
-
-
-
-A TOURNAMENT
-
-VIII
-
-
-Since the day when Speug and a few young friends had broken every pane
-of glass in the Count's windows, and the Count had paid for the damage
-like a gentleman, that excellent foreigner had spent all his spare
-cash--which we thought afterwards was not very much--in encouraging
-athletic exercises among the Seminary lads. His zeal, like that of every
-other convert, was much greater than his knowledge, and left to his own
-devices he would certainly have gone far astray; but with the able
-assistance of Speug, with whom he took intimate counsel, it was
-astonishing what a variety could be infused into the sports. When every
-ordinary competition had been held, and champions had been declared (and
-this had never been done before in the history of the school) for the
-hundred yards, the quarter, and the mile (the ten miles down the Carse
-and over the top of Kinnoul Hill had been stopped by an impromptu
-meeting of parents), for broad jumping and high jumping, for throwing
-the cricket ball and kicking the football, Speug came out with a quite
-new programme which was rapturously received, and had it not met with a
-cross-providence would have lasted over four happy Saturdays and
-considerably reduced the attendance at the Seminary. The first item was
-a swimming match across the Tay, a river not to be trifled with, and
-four boys were saved from death by a salmon cobble, whose owner
-fortunately turned up to watch the sport. The Count was so excited by
-this event that he not only lost his hat in the river, but being
-prevented from going in to help, for the very good reason that he could
-not swim a stroke, he took off and flung the coat, which was the marvel
-of Muirtown, into the river, in the hope that it might serve as a
-lifebelt. The second item, upon which Speug prided himself very much,
-was a climbing match, and for this he had selected a tree which seemed
-to be designed for the purpose, since it had a rook's nest on its
-highest branch, and no branches at all for the first twenty feet. The
-conditions were, that every boy above twelve should have his chance, and
-the boy who climbed to the top, put his hand into the rook's nest, and
-came down in the shortest time, should get the prize. The Seminary above
-twelve were going up and down that tree a whole Saturday morning, and in
-one kirk next day thanks were offered in the first prayer in peculiarly
-dignified and guarded terms that half the families of Muirtown had not
-been bereaved. As a matter of fact, nobody was killed, and no limbs
-were broken, but Speug, who was not allowed to enter for this
-competition, but acted as judge, with his tongue out all the time at the
-sight of the sport, had to go up twice on errands of mercy, once to
-release his friend Howieson, who had missed a branch and was hanging by
-his feet, and the second time to succour Pat Ritchie, who was suspended
-by the seat of his trousers, swaying to and fro like a gigantic apple on
-the branch. It was understood that the Seminary had never enjoyed
-themselves so entirely to their heart's content, but the Count's moral
-courage failed during the performance, and at the most critical moment
-he was afraid to look. When Muirtown got wind of this last achievement
-of Speug's, indignation meetings were held at church-doors and street
-corners, and it was conveyed to the Rector--who knew nothing about the
-matter, and was so absent-minded that if he had passed would never have
-seen what was going on--that if Providence was going to be tempted in
-this fashion again, the matter would be brought before the Town Council.
-The Count himself would have been faithfully dealt with had he not been
-considered a helpless tool in the hands of Speug, who was now understood
-to have filled the cup of his sins up to the brim. He might indeed have
-been at last expelled from the Seminary, of which he was the chief
-ornament, had it not been that the Count went to the Rector and
-explained that the idea had been his from beginning to end, and that it
-was with the utmost difficulty he could induce Speug even to be present.
-For, as I said, the Count was a perfect gentleman, and always stood by
-his friends through thick and thin; but the thrashing which Speug got
-from Bulldog was monumental, and in preparation for it that ingenious
-youth put on three folds of underclothing.
-
-What Speug bitterly regretted, however, was not the punishment, which
-was cheap at the money, but the loss of the next two items in his
-programme. He had planned a boxing competition, in which the main
-feature was to be a regular set-to between Dunc Robertson and himself,
-to decide finally which was the better man, for they had fought six
-times and the issue was still doubtful; and Speug, who had a profligate
-genius outside the class-rooms, had also imagined a pony race with
-hurdles; and as about twenty fellows, farmers' sons and others, had
-ponies, of which they were always bragging, and Speug had the pick of
-his father's stables, he modestly believed that the affair would be
-worth seeing. When the hurdle race was forbidden, for which Speug had
-already begun to make entries and to arrange weights with his father's
-valuable assistance, he took the matter so much to heart that his health
-gave way, and Mr. McGuffie senior had to take him to recruit at the
-Kilmarnock Races, from which he returned in the highest spirits and full
-of stories.
-
-For some time after this painful incident the Count lay low and adopted
-a deprecating manner when he met the fathers and mothers of Muirtown;
-but he gave his friends to understand that his resources were not at an
-end, and that he had a surprise in store for the Seminary. Speug ran
-over every form of sport in casual conversation to discover what was in
-the Count's mind, but he would not be drawn and grew more mysterious
-every day. One Saturday evening in midsummer he took Speug and Nestie
-into his confidence, explaining that his idea would be announced to the
-assembled school by himself next Wednesday, and that it had nothing to
-do, as Speug had hinted in turn, with rats, or rabbits, or fencing, or
-the sword dance. With their permission he would say one word which would
-be enough for persons of so distinguished an imagination, and that word
-was "Tournament;" and then he would speak of nothing else except the
-beauty of the evening light upon the river, which he declared to be
-"ravishing," and the excellence of a certain kind of chocolate which he
-carried in his pocket, and shared generously with his "dogs." As he
-parted with his friends the Count tapped his nose and winked at
-them--"Tournament--great, magnificent, you will see, ha, ha! you will
-see;" and Speug went home in a state of utter confusion, coming finally
-to the conclusion that the Count intended to introduce some French game,
-and in that case it would be his painful duty to oppose the Count tooth
-and nail, for everybody knew that French games were only for girls, and
-would bring endless disgrace upon Muirtown Seminary. During Sunday
-Nestie had turned the matter over in his mind, and being full of Scott's
-novels he was able on Monday to give the astonished school a full
-programme with the most minute particulars. The tournament was to be
-held in the North Meadow; the judge was to be the Commander of the
-cavalry at the barracks; John Chalmers, the town's bellman, was to be
-herald; the Fair Maid of Perth was to be the Queen of Beauty; and the
-combatants were to be such knights as Robertson, Howieson, and of course
-Speug. Each knight was to be in armour, and Nestie freely suggested
-dish-covers would be useful as breastplates, broom-handles would come in
-conveniently for lances, and as ponies were now forbidden, sturdy boys
-of the lower forms would be used instead. The two knights who challenged
-one another would rush from opposite ends of the lists, meet in the
-centre, lance upon breastplate, horse to horse, and man to man, and the
-one that overthrew the other would receive the prize; and at the thought
-of such a meeting between Speug and Dunc Robertson, each in full armour,
-the delighted school smacked their lips.
-
-"Muirtown Races 'ill be nothing to it," said Ritchie. "I'll lay anybody
-a shilling that Speug coups (capsizes) Dunc the first meeting;
-but"--feeling as if it were almost too good to be true--"I dinna
-believe a word o't. Nestie is a fearsome liar." And after the school had
-spoken of nothing else for a day, Dunc Robertson asked the Count boldly
-whether such things were true.
-
-"_Mon ami_," said the Count, who had tasted Nestie's romance with much
-relish, "you will pardon me, but it is a _banalité_, that is what you
-call a stupidity, to ask whether so good a _jeu d'esprit_ is true. True?
-Truth is a dull quality, it belongs to facts; but Nestie, he does not
-live among facts, he flies in the air, in the atmosphere of poetry. He
-is a _raconteur_. A tournament with knights on the North Meadow--good!
-Our little Nestie, he has been reading _Ivanhoe_ and he is a
-troubadour." And the Count took off his hat in homage to Nestie's
-remarkable powers as an author of fiction.
-
-"But yes, it will be a tournament; but not for the body, for the mind.
-My dogs are jolly dogs; they can run, they can leap, they can swim, they
-can kick the ball; now they must think, ah! so deep. They must write
-their very best words, they must show that they have beautiful minds;
-and they will do so, I swear they will, in the tournament, which will
-not be on the meadow--no; too many cows there, and too many washers of
-clothes--but in seclusion, in the class-room of that brave man called
-the Bulldog. It will be a battle," concluded the Count with enthusiasm,
-"of heads: and the best head, that head will have the prize, _voilà_."
-
-"Silence!" and Bulldog brought his cane down upon his desk that
-Wednesday afternoon when the whole upper school was gathered in his
-class-room, bursting with curiosity. "The Count has a proposeetion to
-lay before you which he will explain in his own words and which has the
-sanction of the Rector. Ye will be pleased to give the Count a
-respectful hearing, as he deserves at yir hands." And Bulldog was there
-to see that the Count's deserts and his treatment strictly corresponded.
-
-"Monsieur," and the Count bowed to Bulldog, "and you," and now he bowed
-to the boys, "all my friends of the Seminary, I have the honour to ask a
-favour which your politeness will not allow you to refuse. Next Saturday
-I will dare to hold a reception in this place, with the permission of
-the good Bull---- I do forget myself--I mean the distinguished master.
-And when you come, I promise you that I will not offer you coffee--pouf!
-it is not for the brave boys I see before me, _non_," and the Count
-became very roguish. "I will put a leetle, very leetle sentence on
-the----" ("Blackboard," suggested Bulldog). "_Merci_, yes, the
-blackboard; no, the honourable master he will have the goodness to write
-it in his so beautiful characters. One sentence, that is all, and you
-will sit for one hour in this room where you make your studies, and you
-will write all the beautiful things which come into your heads about
-that sentence. You will then do me the pleasure of letting me carry
-home all those beautiful things, and I will read them; and the writer
-who affects me most, I will ask him to accept a book of many volumes,
-and the Lor' Mayor" ("Provost," interpolated Bulldog) "will present it
-on the great day in the Town Hall.
-
-"No one, not even the honourable master himself, will know that leetle
-sentence till it be written on the--the----" ("Blackboard," said
-Bulldog, with asperity), "and every boy will be able to write many
-things about that sentence. The scholars upon whom I do felicitate the
-honourable master will write much learning," and the Count made a
-graceful inclination in the direction of the two Dowbiggins; "and the
-brave boys who love the sport, they will also write, ah! ah!"--and the
-Count nodded cheerfully in the direction of Speug--"such wonderful
-things. There will be no books; no, you will have your heads, and so it
-will be the fair play, as you say," repeated the Count with much
-satisfaction, "the fair play."
-
-Bulldog dismissed the school after he had explained that no one need
-come unless he wished, but that anyone who didn't come was missing the
-opportunity of securing an honourable distinction, and would also show
-himself to be an ungrateful little scoundrel for all that the Count had
-done for the Seminary.
-
-"Dod," said Jock Howieson, with much native shrewdness, "aifter all his
-palaver it's naething but anither confounded exercise," for that worthy
-had suffered much through impositions, and had never been able to
-connect one sentence with another in an intelligent manner. "The
-Dowbiggins can go if they want, and they're welcome to the books. I'm
-going next Saturday to Woody Island--will you come, Speug?" And it hung
-in the balance whether or not the Count would be openly affronted next
-Saturday when he found himself in the company of half a dozen "swats,"
-while his "jolly dogs" were off in a pack to their island of romance.
-
-Speug could not imagine himself sitting in a class-room on Saturday
-afternoon, except under brute force, and yet he felt it would be
-ungrateful after all his kindness to leave the Count in the company of
-such cheerless objects as the Dowbiggins. The remembrance of all the
-sporting prizes he had won at the Count's hands, and the sight of the
-Count cheering at the sports, came over his ingenuous heart and moved
-him to the most unselfish act of his life. "Jock Howieson," said Speug,
-with considerable dignity, "ye may go to Woody Island if ye like, but it
-'ill be the dirtiest trick ye ever played, and I'll black both yir een
-for ye on Monday. Have we ever had a match, cricket or football, the
-last four years, and the Count hesna been there? Who got up the sports
-and gave the prizes? Tell me that, Jock? Who stands ginger-beer at Lucky
-MacWhae's, answer me that, Jock, ye meeserable wretch?" and then
-clinching every argument on "Who paid for the broken glass? I'm doon
-richt ashamed o' ye, Jock Howieson."
-
-"Will ye go yourself, Speug?" demanded Jock, writhing under this torrent
-of reproach. "I think I see ye writin' an essay on the history o' the
-Romans, or sic like trash. Ye 'ill hunt us into Bulldog's class-room,
-and then go off yirsel to shoot rabbits; but ye 'ill no' play ony tricks
-on me, Peter McGuffie."
-
-"I will go," said Speug, manfully, "though I'll no' promise to write."
-
-"Say as sure's death," said Jock, knowing Speug's wiles.
-
-"Sure as death," said Speug, and then the school knew, not only that he
-would go, though he had to sit six hours instead of one, but also that
-every self-respecting boy in the Seminary must also put in an appearance
-at the Count's reception.
-
-"Best thing you ever did, Speug," said Nestie on the way home, "since
-you p--pulled me out of the Tay, and I should say that you have a good
-chance of the prize. What the Count wants is ori--gin--ginality, and I
-never heard a chap with so much original talk as you've got, Speug. Just
-you put some of it down, like what you give to the P--pennies, and
-you'll come out first, and it'll be the first prize you ever won."
-
-"If there was a prize for impidence, and the entries were open to all
-Scotland," said Speug, "ye would pass the post first and trottin'."
-
- "HOW I SPENT MY SATURDAY,"
-
-was what the school saw on the board when the Count removed the white
-cloth, and then he gave a brief exposition of his desires.
-
-"Have the goodness, if you please, to write, not what you ought, but
-what you want. Were you at the cricket match, you will tell me of the
-capture of the wickets; or you were in the country, I will hear of the
-woods and the beautiful pheasants" (this delicate allusion to Mr.
-Byles's poaching experiences was much appreciated); "or you were among
-the books, then you will describe what you love in them; or you were
-looking at a horse, I expect to hear about that horse"; and the whole
-school understood that this was a direct invitation to Speug, to give an
-exact picture of an Irish mare that his father had just bought. "The
-subject, ah!" said the Count, "that does not matter; it is the manner,
-the style, the _esprit_, that is what I shall value. I wish you all the
-good success, and I will go a walk in the meadow till you have
-finished."
-
-"Do yir best, laddies," said Bulldog, "for the credit of the school and
-to please the Count. If I see ony laddie playing tricks I'll do my part
-to teach him sobriety, and if I see one copying from another, out he
-goes. Ye have one hour from this meenut, make the most o't," and the
-tournament was open.
-
-Bulldog, apparently reading his morning paper, and only giving a casual
-glance to see that no one took advantage of the strange circumstances,
-was really watching his flock very closely, and checking his judgment of
-each one by this new test. Dull, conscientious lads like the Dowbiggins
-began at once, in order that they might not lose a moment of time, but
-might put as much written stuff upon the paper as possible; yet now and
-again they stopped and looked round helplessly because they had no books
-and no tutor to assist them, and they realised for the first time how
-little they had in their own heads.
-
-"Ha! ha!" said Bulldog to himself, "I kent ye were naithing but a
-painted show, and it 'ill do ye good to find that out for yirselves."
-
-Jock Howieson and his kind regarded the whole matter as a new form of
-entertainment, and as he could not have put into anything approaching
-connected words the experiences of his last Saturday, he employed the
-time in cutting up his unwritten paper into squares of an inch, and
-making them into pellets with which he prevented the Dowbiggin mind from
-being too much absorbed in study. He did this once too often, and
-Bulldog went down to call upon him with a cane and with plain, simple
-words.
-
-"His head is an inch thick," said Bulldog, as he went back to his desk,
-"but there's the making of a man in Jock, though he 'ill never be able
-to write a decent letter to save his life. He would suit the Scots Greys
-down to the ground."
-
-Speug had given a solemn promise to Nestie, under the customary form of
-oath, that he would write something, and whatever he wrote he would hand
-in, though it was only twenty words, and Speug never went back from his
-oath. When Howieson caught the Dowbiggin ear with a pellet there is no
-doubt that a joyful light came into Speug's eyes, and he struggled with
-strong temptation, and when old friends made facetious signs to him he
-hesitated more than once, but in the end assumed an air of dignified
-amazement, explaining, as it were, that his whole mind was devoted to
-literary composition, and that he did not know what they meant by this
-impertinent intrusion upon a student's privacy. Cosh certainly jumped
-once in his seat as if he had been stung by a wasp, and it is certainly
-true that at that moment there was a piece of elastic on the thumb and
-first finger of Speug's left hand, but his right hand was devoted to
-literature. The language which Cosh allowed himself to use in the heat
-of the moment was so unvarnished that it came under Bulldog's attention,
-who told him that if he wanted to say anything like that again he must
-say it in Latin, and that he ought to take notice of the excellent
-conduct of Peter McGuffie, who, Bulldog declared, was not at all
-unlikely to win the prize. And as the master returned to his seat his
-back was seen to shake, and the wink with which Speug favoured the
-class, in a brief rest from labour, was a reward for an hour's drudgery.
-Bulldog knew everybody up and down, out and in--what a poor creature
-Cosh was, and what good stuff could be found in Speug; and he also knew
-everything that was done--why Cosh had said what he said, and why Speug
-at that moment was lost in study. Bulldog was not disappointed when
-Nestie's face lighted up at the title of the essay, and he knew why his
-favourite little lad did not write anything for fifteen minutes, but
-looked steadily out at the window and across the North Meadow, and he
-returned to his paper with a sense of keen satisfaction when Nestie at
-last settled down to work and wrote without ceasing, except when now and
-again he hesitated as for a word, or tried a sentence upon his ear to
-know how it sounded. For the desire of Bulldog's heart was that Nestie
-should win, and if--though that, of course, was too absurd--Speug by the
-help of the favouring gods should come in second, Bulldog would feel
-that he had not lived in vain.
-
-"Ye have three meenuts to dot your i's and stroke your t's," said
-Bulldog, "and the Count will tell ye how ye're to sign yir names," and
-then the Count, who had come in from his walk, much refreshed, advanced
-again to the desk.
-
-"It would be one great joy to have your autographs," said the Count,
-"and I would place them in a book and say, 'My friends'; but honour
-forbids. As I shall have the too great responsibility of judging, it is
-necessary that I be--ah! I have forgotten the word--yes! show the fair
-play. No, I must not know the names; for if I read the name of my friend
-the ever active, the ever brave, the ever interesting Speug" (at this
-indecent allusion Speug grew purple and gave the bench in front of him
-to understand by well-known signs that if they looked at him again he
-might give them something to look for outside), "I would say that Speug
-is a sportsman but he is not a _littérateur_, and I might not do my
-comrade the full justice. And if I read the name of the composed, the
-studious, the profound young gentlemen who are before me" (and it was
-fortunate the Dowbiggins had their backs to the school), "I would know
-that it must be the best before I read it, and that would not be the
-fair play.
-
-"No! you will write on your admirable essay a motto--what you
-please--and your name you will put in an envelope, so," and the Count
-wrote his own name in the most dashing manner, and in an awful silence,
-on a piece of paper, and closed the envelope with a graceful flourish:
-"and outside you will put your motto, so it will be all the fair play,
-and in the Town Hall next Saturday I shall have the felicity to declare
-the result. _Voila!_ Has my plan your distinguished approbation?" and
-the Count made a respectful appeal to Bulldog. "Nothing could be fairer,
-you say? Then it is agreed, and I allow myself to wish you adieu for
-this day."
-
-When the school assembled for conference among the Russian guns, their
-minds were divided between two subjects. The first was what Speug had
-written, on which that strenuous student would give no information,
-resenting the inquiry both as an insult to his abilities and an
-illustration of vain curiosity on the part of the school. Nestie,
-however, volunteered the trustworthy information that Speug had spent
-his whole time explaining the good which he had got from being kept in
-one Saturday forenoon and doing mathematical problems under the eye of
-Bulldog. And Nestie added that he thought it mean of Peter to "suck up"
-to the master in this disgraceful fashion just for the sake of getting a
-prize. Peter confided to Nestie afterwards that he had really done his
-best to describe a close race for the Kilmarnock Cup, but that he didn't
-think there were six words properly spelt from beginning to end, and
-that if he escaped without a thrashing he would treat Nestie to half a
-dozen bottles of ginger-beer.
-
-Regarding the winner--for that was the other subject--there was a
-unanimous and sad judgment; that Dunc Robertson might have a chance, but
-that Thomas John, the head of the Dowbiggins, would carry off the prize,
-as he had carried off all the other prizes; and that, if so, they would
-let him know how they all loved him at the Town Hall, and that it would
-be wise for him to go home with the Count's prize and all the other
-prizes in a cab, with the windows up.
-
-The prize-giving in the Town Hall was one of the great events in the
-Muirtown year, and to it the memory of a Seminary lad goes back with
-keen interest. All the forenoon the Provost and the bailies had been
-sitting in the class-room of the Seminary, holding Latin books in their
-hands, which they opened anywhere, and wagging their heads in solemn
-approval over the translation by Thomas John and other chosen worthies,
-while the parents wandered from place to place and identified their
-sons, who refused to take any notice of them unless nobody was looking.
-What mothers endured cannot be put into words, when they saw their
-darling boys (whom they had seen dressed that morning in their Sunday
-clothes, and sent away in perfect array, with directions that they were
-not to break their collars nor soil their jackets, nor disarrange their
-hair the whole day, or they need not come home in the evening) turn up
-in a class-room before the respectables of Muirtown as if their heads
-had not known a brush for six months, with Speug's autograph upon their
-white collar, a button gone from their waistcoat, and an ounce of flour
-in a prominent place on their once speckless jacket.
-
-"Yes," said one matron to another, with the calmness of despair, "that
-is my Jimmy, I canna deny it; but ye may well ask, for he's more like a
-street waufie than onything else. On a day like this, and when I see
-what a sight he's made of himself in two hours I could almost wish he
-had been born a girl."
-
-"Losh keep us, Mistress Chalmers, ye maunna speak like that, for it's no
-chancy, he micht be taken away sudden, and ye would have regrets; forbye
-your laddie's naithing to my Archie, for the last time I saw him, as I'm
-a livin' woman, there wasna more than two inches of his necktie left,
-and he was fishing his new Balmoral bonnet out of the water-barrel in
-the playground. Ye needna expect peace if the Almichty give ye laddies,
-but I wouldna change them for lassies--na, na, I'll no' go that length."
-
-And the two matrons sustained themselves with the thought that if their
-boys were only a mere wreck of what they had been in the morning, other
-people's boys were no better, and some of them were worse, for one of
-them had inflicted such damages on his trousers that, although he was
-able to face the public, he had to retire as from the royal presence;
-nor was it at all unlike the motherly mind to conceive a malignant
-dislike to the few boys who were spick and span, and to have a certain
-secret pride even in their boys' disorder, which at any rate showed that
-they were far removed from the low estate of lassies.
-
-The great function of the day came off at two o'clock, and before the
-hour the hall was packed with fathers, mothers, sisters, elder brothers,
-uncles, aunts, cousins and distant relatives of the boys, while the boys
-themselves, beyond all control and more dishevelled than ever, were
-scattered throughout the crowd. Some were sitting with their parents and
-enduring a rapid toilet at the hands of their mothers; others were
-gathered in clumps and arranging a reception for the more unpopular
-prize-winners; others were prowling up and down the passages, exchanging
-sweetmeats and responding (very coldly) to the greeting of relatives in
-the seats, for the black terror that hung over every Seminary lad was
-that he would be kissed publicly by a maiden aunt. Mr. Peter McGuffie
-senior came in with the general attention of the audience, and seated
-himself in a prominent place with Speug beside him. Not that Mr.
-McGuffie took any special interest in prize-givings, and certainly not
-because Speug had ever appeared in the character of a prize-winner. Mr.
-McGuffie's patronage was due to his respect for the Count and his high
-appreciation of what he considered the Count's sporting offer, and Mr.
-McGuffie was so anxious to sustain the interest of the proceedings that
-he was willing, although he admitted that he had no tip, to have a bet
-with anyone in his vicinity on the winning horse. He also astonished his
-son by offering to lay a sovereign on Nestie coming in first and half
-a length ahead, which was not so much based upon any knowledge of
-Nestie's literary qualifications as on the strange friendship between
-Nestie and his promising son. As the respectable Free Kirk elder who sat
-next Mr. McGuffie did not respond to this friendly offer, Mr. McGuffie
-put a straw in his mouth and timed the arrival of the Provost.
-
-[Illustration: "BEFORE THE HOUR THE HALL WAS PACKED."]
-
-When that great dignitary, attended by the bailies and masters, together
-with the notables of Muirtown, appeared on the platform, the boys
-availed themselves of the license of the day, shouting, cheering,
-yelling, whistling and bombarding all and sundry with pellets of paper
-shot with extraordinary dexterity from little elastic catapults, till at
-last Bulldog, who in the helplessness of the Rector always conducted the
-proceedings, rose and demanded silence for the Provost, who explained at
-wide intervals that he was glad to see his young friends (howls from the
-boys) and also their respected parents (fresh howls, but not from the
-parents); that he was sure the fathers and mothers were proud of their
-boys to-day (climax of howls); that he had once been a boy himself
-(unanimous shout of "No" from the boys); that he had even fought in a
-snowball fight (loud expressions of horror); that he was glad the
-Seminary was flourishing (terrific outburst, during which the Provost's
-speech came to an end, and Bulldog rose to keep order).
-
-One by one the prize-winners were called up from the side of their fond
-parents, and if they were liked and had won their prizes with the
-goodwill of their fellows, each one received an honest cheer which was
-heartier and braver than any other cheer of the day, and loud above it
-sounded the voice of Speug, who, though he had never received a prize in
-his life, and never would, rejoiced when a decent fellow like Dunc
-Robertson, the wicket-keeper of the eleven and the half-back of the
-fifteen, showed that he had a head as well as hands. When a prig got too
-many prizes there was an eloquent silence in the hall, till at last a
-loud, accurate and suggestive "Ma-a-a-a!" from Speug relieved the
-feelings of the delighted school, and the unpopular prize-winner left
-the platform amid the chorus of the farmyard--cows, sheep, horses, dogs,
-cats and a triumphant ass all uniting to do him honour. It was their
-day, and Bulldog gave them their rights, provided they did not continue
-too long, and every boy believed that Bulldog had the same judgment as
-themselves.
-
-To-day, however, the whole gathering was hungering and thirsting for the
-declaration of the Count's prize, because there never had been such a
-competition in Muirtown before, and the Count was one of our characters.
-When he came forward, wonderfully dressed, with a rose in his buttonhole
-and waving a scented handkerchief, and bowed to everybody in turn, from
-the Provost to Mr. McGuffie, his reception was monumental and was
-crowned by the stentorian approbation of Speug's father. Having thanked
-the company for their reception, with his hand upon his heart, and
-having assured the charming mothers of his young friends of his (the
-Count's) most respectful devotion, and declared himself the slave of
-their sisters, and having expressed his profound reverence for the
-magistrates (at which several bailies tried to look as if they were only
-men, but failed), the Count approached the great moment of the day.
-
-The papers, he explained upon his honour, were all remarkable, and it
-had been impossible for him to sleep, because he could not tear himself
-away from the charming reflections of his young friends. (As the boys
-recognised this to be only a just compliment to their thoughtful
-disposition and literary genius, Bulldog had at last to arise and quell
-the storm.) There was one paper, however, which the Count compared to
-Mont Blanc, because it rose above all the others. It was "ravishing,"
-the Count asserted, "superb"; it was, he added, the work of "genius."
-The river, the woods, the flowers, the hills, the beautiful young women,
-it was all one poem. And as the whole hall waited, refusing to breathe,
-the Count enjoyed a great moment. "The writer of this distinguished
-poem--for it is not prose, it is poetry--I will read his motto." Then
-the Count read, "Faint Heart never Won Fair Lady," and turning to the
-Provost, "I do myself the honour of asking your Excellency to open this
-envelope and to read the name to this distinguished audience." Before
-the Provost could get the piece of paper out of the envelope, Speug, who
-was in the secret of the motto, jumped up on his seat and, turning with
-his face to the audience, shouted at the pitch of his voice through the
-stillness of the hall, "Nestie Molyneux." And above the great shout that
-went up from the throat of the Seminary could be heard, full and clear,
-the view-hallo of Mr. McGuffie senior, who had guessed the winner
-without ever seeing the paper.
-
-
-
-
-MOOSSY
-
-IX
-
-
-If the eyes of an old boy do not light up at the mention of "Moossy,"
-then it is no use his pleading the years which have passed and the great
-affairs which have filled his life; you know at once that he is an
-impostor and has never had the privilege of passing through Muirtown
-Seminary. Upon the genuine boy--fifty years old now, but green at
-heart--the word is a very talisman, for at the sound of it the worries
-of life and the years that have gone are forgotten, and the eyes light
-up and the face relaxes, and the middle-aged man lies back in his chair
-for the full enjoyment of the past. It was a rough life in the Seminary,
-with plain food and strenuous games; with well-worn and well-torn
-clothes; where little trouble was taken to give interest to your work,
-and little praise awarded when you did it well; where you were bullied
-by the stronger fellows without redress, and thrashed for very little
-reason; where there were also many coarsenesses which were sickening at
-the time to any lad with a sense of decency, and which he is glad, if he
-can, to forget; but, at least, there was one oasis in the wilderness
-where there was nothing but enjoyment for the boys, and that was the
-"Department of Modern Languages," over which Moossy was supposed to
-preside.
-
-Things have changed since Moossy's day, and now there is a graduate of
-the University of Paris and a fearful martinet to teach young Muirtown
-French, and a Heidelberg man with several degrees and four swordcuts on
-his face to explain to Muirtown the mysteries of the German sentence.
-Indignant boys, who have heard appetising tales of the days which are
-gone, are compelled to "swat" at Continental tongues as if they were
-serious languages like Latin and Greek, and are actually kept in if they
-have not done a French verb. They are required to write an account of
-their holidays in German, and are directed to enlarge their vocabulary
-by speaking in foreign tongues among themselves. Things have come to
-such a pass it is said--but I do not believe one word of this--that the
-modern Speug, before he pulls off the modern Dowbiggin's bonnet and
-flings it into the lade, which still runs as it used to do, will be
-careful to say "_Erlauben Sie mir_," and that the modern Dowbiggin,
-before rescuing his bonnet, will turn and inquire with mild surprise,
-"_Was wollen Sie, mein Freund?_" and precocious lads will delight their
-parents at the breakfast-table by asking for their daily bread in the
-language and accent of Paris, because for the moment they have forgotten
-English. It is my own firm conviction, and nothing can shake it, that
-Muirtown lads are just as incapable of explaining their necessary wants
-in any speech except their own as they were in the days of our fathers,
-and that if a Seminary boy were landed in Calais to-day, he would get
-his food at the buffet by making signs with his fingers, as his father
-had done before him and as becomes a young barbarian. He would also take
-care, as his fathers did, that he would not be cheated in his change nor
-be put upon by any "Frenchy." Foreign graduates may do their best with
-Seminary lads--and their kind elsewhere--but they will not find it easy
-to shape their unruly tongues; for the Briton is fully persuaded in the
-background of his mind that he belongs to an imperial race and is born
-to be a ruler, that every man will sooner or later have to speak his
-language, and that it is undignified to condescend to French. The Briton
-is pleased to know that foreign nations have some means of communication
-between themselves--as, indeed, the lower animals have, if you go into
-the matter; but since the Almighty has put an English (or Scots) tongue
-in his mouth, it would be flying in the face of Providence not to use
-it. It is, however, an excellent thing to have the graduates, and the
-trim class-room, and the tables of the foreign verbs upon the wall, and
-the conversation classes--Speug at a conversation class!--and all the
-rest of it; but, oh! the days of long ago--and Moossy!
-
-Like our only other foreigner, the Count, Moossy was a nameless man, for
-although it must have been printed on the board in the vestibule of the
-school, which had a list of masters and of classes, no one can now hint
-at Moossy's baptismal name, nor even suggest his surname. The name of
-the Count had been sunk in the nobility which we conferred upon him, and
-which was the tribute of our respectful admiration, but "Moossy" was a
-term of good-humoured contempt. We were only Scots lads of a provincial
-town, and knew nothing of the outside world; but yet, with the instincts
-of a race of Chieftains and Clansmen, we distinguished in our minds
-between our two foreigners and placed them far apart. No doubt the Count
-was womanish in his dress, and had fantastic manners, but we knew he was
-a gallant gentleman, who was afraid of nobody and was always ready to
-serve his friends; he was _débonnaire_, and counted himself the equal of
-anyone in Muirtown, but Moossy was little better than an abject. He was
-a little man, to begin with, and had made himself small by stooping till
-his head had sunk upon his chest and his shoulders had risen to his
-ears; his hair fell over the collar of his coat behind, and his
-ill-dressed beard hid any shirt he wore; his hands and face showed only
-the slightest acquaintance with soap and water, and although Speug was
-not always careful in his own personal ablutions, and more than once had
-been sent down to the lade by Bulldog to wash himself, yet Speug had a
-healthy contempt for a dirty master. Moossy's clothes, it was believed,
-had not been renewed since he came to the Seminary, and the cloak which
-he wore on a winter day was a scandal to the town. His feet were large
-and flat, and his knees touched as the one passed the other, and the
-Seminary was honestly ashamed at the sight of him shambling across the
-North Meadow. He looked so mean, so ill put together, so shabby, so
-dirty, that the very "Pennies" hooted at him and flung him in our faces.
-The Rector was also careless of his dress, and mooned along the road,
-but then everybody knew that he was a mighty scholar, and that if you
-woke him from his meditation he would answer you in Greek; but even
-Speug understood that Moossy was not a scholar. The story drifted about
-through Muirtown, and filtered down to the boys, that he was a bankrupt
-tradesman who had fled from some little German town and landed in
-Muirtown, and that because he could speak a little English, and a little
-French, as German tradesmen can, he had been appointed by an
-undiscriminating Town Council to teach foreign tongues at the Seminary.
-It is certain he had very little education and no confidence in himself,
-and so he was ever cringing to the bailies, which did him no injury,
-for these great men regarded themselves as beings bordering on the
-supernatural; and he was ever deferring and giving in to the boys, which
-was the maddest thing that any master could do, and only confirmed every
-boy in his judgment that Moossy was one of the most miserable of God's
-creatures.
-
-His classes met in the afternoon, and were regarded as a pleasant
-relaxation after the labours of the day, and to escape from the
-government of Bulldog to the genial freedom of Moossy's room proved, as
-we felt in a vague way, that Providence had a tender heart towards the
-wants and enjoyments of boys. It goes without saying that no work was
-done, for there were only half a dozen who had any desire to work, and
-they were not allowed, in justice to themselves and to their fellows, to
-waste the mercies which had been provided. Upon Bulldog's suggestion,
-Moossy once provided himself with a cane, but it failed in his hands the
-first time he tried to use it, which was not at all wonderful, as Jock
-Howieson, who did not approve of canes, and regarded them as an
-invention of the Evil One, had doctored Moossy's cane with a horse-hair,
-so that it split into two at a stroke, and one piece flying back struck
-Moossy on the face.
-
-"That'll learn him to be meddling with canes. It's plenty that Bulldog
-has a cane, without yon meeserable wretch"; and that was the last effort
-which Moossy made to exercise discipline.
-
-Every afternoon he made a pitiable appeal that the boys would behave and
-learn their verbs. For about ten minutes there was quietness, and then,
-at the sight of Thomas John, sitting at the head of his form and working
-diligently upon a French translation, which he could do better than
-Moossy himself, Speug would make a signal to the form, and, leading off
-from the foot himself, the form would give one quick, unanimous, and
-masterful push, and Thomas John next instant was sitting on the floor;
-while if, by any possibility, they could land all his books on him as he
-lay, and baptise him out of his own ink-bottle, the form was happy and
-called in their friends of other forms to rejoice with them. Moossy, at
-the noise of Thomas John's falling, would hurry over and inquire the
-cause, that a boy so exemplary and diligent should be sitting on the
-floor with the remains of his work around him; and as Thomas John knew
-that it would be worth his life to tell the reason, Moossy and he
-pretended to regard it as one of the unavoidable accidents of life, and
-after Thomas John had been restored to his place, and the ink wiped off
-his clothes, Moossy exhorted the form to quietness and diligence. He
-knew what had happened, and would have been fit for a lunatic asylum if
-he had not; and we knew that he knew, and we all despised him for his
-cowardice. Had there been enough spirit in Moossy to go for Speug (just
-as Bulldog would have done), and thrash him there and then as he sat in
-his seat, brazen and unashamed, we would all have respected Moossy, and
-no one more than Speug, to whom all fresh exploits would have had a new
-relish. But Moossy was a broken-spirited man, in whom there was no
-fight, who held a post he was not fit for, and held it to get a poor
-living for himself and one who was dearer to him than his own life. So
-helpless was he, and so timid, that there were times when the boys grew
-weary of their teasing and disorder, and condescended to repeat a verb
-in order to pass the time.
-
-When the spring was in their blood--for, like all young animals, they
-felt its stirring--then there were wonderful scenes in Moossy's
-class-room. He dared not stand in those days between two forms, with his
-face to the one and his back to the other, because of the elastic
-catapults and the sharp little paper bullets, which, in spite of his
-long hair, would always find out his ears; and if he turned round to
-face the battery, the other form promptly unmasked theirs, and between
-the two he was driven to the end of the room; and then, in his very
-presence, without a pretence of concealment, the two forms would settle
-their differences, while, in guttural and uncultured German, Moossy
-prayed for peace. Times there were, I am sorry to say, when at the sting
-of the bullet Moossy said bad words, and although they were in German,
-the boys knew that it was swearing, and Speug's voice would be loudest
-in horror.
-
-[Illustration: "THOMAS JOHN NEXT INSTANT WAS SITTING ON THE FLOOR."]
-
-"Mercy on us, lads! this is awful language to hear in the Seminary! If
-the Town Council gets word of this, there'll be a fine stramish. For
-masel'," Speug would conclude piously, "I'm perfectly ashamed." And as
-that accomplished young gentleman had acquired in the stables a wealth
-of profanity which was the amazement of the school, his protest had all
-the more weight. Poor Moossy would apologise for what he had said, and
-beseech the school neither to say it themselves nor to tell what they
-had heard; and for days afterwards Speug would be warning Thomas John
-that if he, Speug--censor of morals--caught him cursing and swearing
-like Moossy, he would duck him in the lake, and afterwards bring him
-before the Lord Provost and magistrates.
-
-There was no end to the devices of the Seminary for enjoying themselves
-and tormenting Moossy; and had it not been for Nestie, who had some
-reserves of taste, the fun would have been much more curious. As it was,
-Moossy never knew when he might not light upon a frog, till it seemed as
-if the class-room for modern languages were the chosen home for the
-reptiles of the district. One morning, when he opened his desk, a lively
-young Scots terrier puppy sprang up to welcome him, and nearly
-frightened Moossy out of such wits as he possessed. He had learned to
-open the door of his class-room cautiously, not knowing whether a German
-Dictionary might not be ingeniously poised to fall upon his head. His
-ink-bottle would be curiously attached to his French Grammar, so that
-when he lifted the book the bottle followed it and sent the spray of ink
-over his person, adding a new distinction of dirtiness to his coat. Boys
-going up to write on the blackboard, where they never wrote anything but
-nonsense, would work symbols with light and rapid touch upon the back of
-Moossy's coat as they returned; and if one after the other, adding to
-the work of art, could draw what was supposed to be a human face upon
-Moossy, the class was satisfied it had not lost the hour. There were
-times when Moossy felt the hand even on the looseness of that foolish
-coat, and turned suddenly; but there was no shaking the brazen impudence
-of Muirtown, and Moossy, looking into the stolid and unintelligent
-expression of Howieson's face, thought that he had been mistaken. If one
-boy was set up to do a verb, the form, reading from their books and
-pronouncing on a principal of their own, would do the verb with him and
-continue in a loud and sonorous song, till Moossy had to stop them one
-by one, and then they were full of indignation at being hindered in
-their studies of the German language.
-
-Moossy was afraid to complain to the Rector, lest his own incompetence
-should be exposed and his bread be taken from him; and of this the
-boys, with the unerring cunning of savages, were perfectly aware, and
-the torture might have gone on for years had it not been for the
-intervention of Bulldog and a certain incident. As the French class-room
-was above the mathematical, any special disturbance could be heard in
-the quietness below; and whatever else they did, the students of foreign
-languages were careful not to invite the attention of Bulldog. Indeed,
-the one check upon the freedom of Moossy's room was the danger of
-Bulldog's arrival, who was engaged that hour with the little boys and
-had ample leisure of mind to take note of any outrageous noise above,
-and for want of occupation was itching to get at old friends like
-Howieson. There are times, however, when even a savage forgets himself,
-and one spring day the saturnalia in Moossy's room reached an historical
-height. It had been discovered that any dislike which Moossy may have
-had to a puppy in his desk, and a frog in his top-cloak pocket, was
-nothing to the horror with which he regarded mice. As soon as it was
-known that Moossy would as soon have had a tiger in the French
-class-room as a mouse upon the loose, it was felt that the study of
-foreign languages should take a new departure. One morning the boys came
-in with such punctuality, and settled to their work with such demure
-diligence, that even Moossy was suspicious and watched them anxiously.
-For ten minutes there was nothing heard but the drone of the class
-mangling German sentences, and then Howieson cried aloud in
-consternation, "A mouse!"
-
-"Vat ees that you say? Ah! mices! vere?" and Moossy was much shaken.
-
-"Yonder," said Speug, pointing to where a mouse was just disappearing
-under the desk; "and there's another at the fireplace. Dod, the place is
-fair swarming, and, Moossy, there's one trying to run up your leg. Take
-care, man, for ony sake."
-
-"A mices," cried Moossy, "vill up my legs go; I vill the desk ascend,"
-and with the aid of a chair Moossy scrambled on to his desk, where he
-entrenched himself against attack, believing that at that height he
-would be safe from "mices."
-
-[Illustration: "THE SCHOOL FELL OVER BENCHES AND OVER ONE ANOTHER."]
-
-Speug suggested that as this plague of mice had burst upon the French
-class-room the scholars should meet the calamity like men, and asked
-Moossy's permission to go out upon the chase. For once Moossy and his
-pupils had one mind, and the school gave itself to its heart's content,
-and without a thought of consequences, to a mouse hunt. Nothing is more
-difficult than to catch a mouse, and the difficulty is doubled when no
-one wishes to catch it; and so the school fell over benches, and over
-one another, and jumped over the desks and scrambled under them, ever
-pretending to have caught a mouse, and really succeeding once in
-smothering an unfortunate animal beneath the weight of half a dozen
-boys. Thomas John was early smeared with ink from top to bottom by an
-accident in which Howieson took a leading part, and the German
-Dictionary intended for a mouse happened to take Cosh on the way, which
-led to an encounter between that indignant youth and Bauldie, in which
-mice were forgotten. The blackboard was brought down with a crash, and a
-form was securely planted on its ruins. High above the babel Moossy
-could be heard crying encouragement, and demanding whether the "mices"
-had been caught, but nothing would induce him to come down from his
-fastness. When things were at their highest, and gay spirits like Speug
-were beginning to conclude that even a big snow fight was nothing to a
-mouse hunt, and Howieson had been so lifted that he had mounted a desk,
-not to catch a mouse, but to give a cheer, and was standing there
-without collar or tie, dishevelled, triumphant, and raised above all the
-trials of life, the door opened and Bulldog entered. And it was a
-beautiful tribute to the personality of that excellent man, that the
-whole room crystallised in an instant, and everyone remained motionless,
-frozen, as it were, in the act.
-
-Bulldog looked round with that calm composure which sat so well upon
-him, taking in Moossy perched upon his desk, Howieson on his form, Speug
-sitting with easy dignity on the top of Thomas John, and half a dozen
-worthies still tied together in a scrimmage, as if this were a sight to
-which he was accustomed every day in Muirtown Seminary.
-
-"Foreign languages," he began, after a pause of ten seconds, "is
-evidently a verra divertin' subject of study, and I wonder that any
-pupil is left in the department of mathematics. I was not aware, Jock,
-that ye needed to stand on a form before you could do your German, and I
-suppose that is the French class in the corner. I'm sorry to intrude,
-but I'm pleased to see a class in earnest about its work, I really am."
-
-"Mices!" remarked Bulldog in icy tones, as poor Moossy came down from
-his desk and began to explain. "My impression is that you are right, as
-far as I can judge--and I have some acquaintance with the circumstances.
-There are a considerable number of mices in this room, a good many more
-mices than were brought in somebody's pocket this morning. The mices I
-see were in my class-room this morning, and they were very quiet and
-peaceable mices, and they'll be the same in this class-room after this,
-or I'll know the reason why. If you'll excuse me," and Bulldog embraced
-the whole scene in a comprehensive farewell, "I'll leave the foreign
-class-room and go down and see what my laddies are doing with their
-writing"; and when Bulldog closed the door Howieson realised that he
-owed his escape to Bulldog's respect for another man's class-room, but
-that the joyful day in modern languages had come to an end. There would
-be no more "mices."
-
-Next Saturday afternoon Speug and Nestie were out for a ramble in the
-country, and turning into a lane where the hedgerows were breaking into
-green, and the primroses nestling at the roots of the bushes, they came
-upon a sight which made them pause so that they could only stand and
-look. Down the lane a man was dragging an invalid-chair, a poor and
-broken thing which had seen its best days thirty years ago. In the chair
-a woman was sitting, or rather lying, very plainly but comfortably
-dressed, and carefully wrapped up, whose face showed that she had
-suffered much, but whose cheeks were responding to the breath of spring.
-As they stood, the man stopped and went to the bank and plucked a
-handful of primroses and gave them to the woman; and as he bent over
-her, holding up the primroses before her eyes, and as they talked
-together, even the boys saw the grateful pleasure in her eyes. He
-adjusted the well-worn cloak and changed her position in the chair, and
-then went back to drag it, a heavy weight down the soft and yielding
-track; and the boys stood and stared and looked at one another, for the
-man who was caring so gently for this invalid, and toiling so manfully
-with the lumbering chair, was Moossy.
-
-"C-cut away, Speug," said Nestie; "he wouldn't like us to see him. I
-say, he ain't a bad sort--Moossy--after all. Bet you a bottle of
-g-ginger-beer that's Moossy's wife, and that's why he's so poor."
-
-They were leaving the lane when they heard an exclamation, and going
-back they found that the miserable machine had slipped into the ditch
-and there stuck fast beyond poor Moossy's power of recovery. With many
-an "Ach!" and other words, too, he was bewailing the situation and
-hanging over his invalid, while she seemed to be cheering him and trying
-if she could so lie in the chair as to lessen the weight upon the lower
-side, while every minute the wheel sank deeper in the soft earth.
-
-"What are you st-staring at, you idle, worthless v-vagabond?" said
-Nestie to Speug. "Come along and give a hand to Moossy," who was so
-pleased to get some help in the lonely place that he forgot the
-revealing of his little secret. With Speug in the shafts, who had the
-strength of a man in his compact little body, and Moossy pulling on the
-other side, the coach was soon upon the road again, amid a torrent of
-gratitude from Moossy and his wife, partly in English, but mostly in
-German, but all quite plain to the boys, for gratitude is always
-understood in any language. They came bravely along the lane, Speug
-pulling, Moossy hanging over his wife to make sure she had not been
-hurt, and Nestie plucking flowers to make up a nosegay in memory of the
-lane, while Moossy declared them to be "_Zwei herzliche Knaben_."
-
-When they came to the main road, Speug would not give up his work, but
-brought the carriage manfully to the little cottage, hidden in a garden,
-where Moossy lodged. When she had been carried in--she was so light that
-Moossy could lift her himself--she compelled the boys to come in, too,
-and Moossy made fragrant coffee, and this they had with strange German
-cakes, which were not half bad, and to which they both did ample
-justice. Going home, Nestie looked at Speug, and Speug looked at Nestie,
-and though no words passed it was understood that the days of the
-troubles of Moossy in the Seminary of Muirtown were ended.
-
-During the remaining year of Moossy's labours at the Seminary it would
-not be true to say that he became a good or useful master, for he had
-neither the knowledge nor the tact, or that the boys were always
-respectful and did their work, for they were very far removed from being
-angels; but Moossy did pluck up some spirit, and Speug saw that he
-suffered no grievous wrong. He also took care that Moossy was not left
-to be his own horse from day to day, but that the stronger varlets of
-the Seminary should take some exercise in the shafts of Moossy's coach.
-Howieson was a young gentleman far removed from sentiment, and he gave
-it carefully to be understood that he only did the thing for a joke; but
-there is no question that more than once Jock brought Moossy's
-carriage, with Moossy's wife in it, successfully along that lane and
-other lanes, and it is a fact that, on a certain Saturday, Speug came
-out with one of his father's traps, and Mistress Moossy, as she was
-called, was driven far and wide about the country around Muirtown.
-
-"You are what the papers call a ph-philanthropist, Speug," said Nestie,
-"and I expect to hear that you are opening an orphan asylum." And Speug
-promptly replied that, if he did, the first person to be admitted would
-be Nestie, and that he would teach him manners.
-
-It was a fortunate thing for Moossy that some one died in Germany and
-left him a little money, so that he could give up the hopeless drudgery
-of the Seminary and go home to live in a little house upon the banks of
-the Rhine. His wife, who had been improving under Dr. Manley's care,
-began to brisk up at once, and was quite certain of recovery when one
-afternoon they left Muirtown Station. Some dozen boys were there to see
-them off, and it was Jock and Speug who helped Moossy to place
-her comfortably in the carriage. The gang had pooled their
-pocket-money--selling one or two treasures to swell the sum--that Moossy
-and his wife might go away laden with such dainties as schoolboys love,
-and Nestie had a bunch of flowers to place in her hands. They still
-called him Moossy, as they had done before, and he looked, to tell the
-truth, almost as shabby and his hair was as long as ever; but he was in
-great spirits and much touched by the kindness of his tormentors. As the
-English mail pulled out of Muirtown Station with quickening speed, the
-boys ran along the platform beside the carriage shaking hands with
-Moossy through the open window and passing in their gifts.
-
-"Take care o' mices!" shouted Jock, with agreeable humour, but the last
-sight Moossy had of Muirtown was Speug standing on a luggage-barrow and
-waving farewell.
-
-
-
-
-A LAST RESOURCE
-
-X
-
-
-That the Rector should be ill and absent from his classes from time to
-time was quite in the order of things, because he was a scholar and
-absent-minded to a degree--going to bed in the morning, and being got
-out of bed in rather less than time for his work; eating when it
-occurred to him, but preferring, on the whole, not to eat at all;
-wearing very much the same clothes summer and winter, and if he added a
-heavy top-coat, more likely putting it on in the height of summer and
-going without it when there were ten degrees of frost. It was not for
-his scholarship, but for his peculiarities, that the school loved him;
-not because he edited a "Cæsar" and compiled a set of Latin exercises,
-for which perfectly unnecessary and disgusting labours the school hated
-him, but because he used to arrive at ten minutes past nine, and his
-form was able to jeer at Bulldog's boys as they hastened into their
-class-room with much discretion at one minute before the hour. Because
-he used to be so much taken up with a happy phrase in Horace that he
-would forget the presence of his class, and walk up and down before the
-fireplace, chortling aloud; and because sometimes he was so hoarse that
-he could only communicate with the class by signs, which they
-unanimously misunderstood. Because he would sometimes be absent for a
-whole week, and his form was thrown in with another, with the result of
-much enjoyable friction, and an almost perfect neglect of work. He was
-respected and never was annoyed, not even by ruffians like Howieson,
-because everyone knew that the Rector was an honourable gentleman, with
-all his eccentric ways, and the _Muirtown Advertiser_ had a leader every
-spring on the achievements of his scholars. Edinburgh professors who
-came to examine the school used to fill up their speeches on the
-prize-day with graceful compliments to the Rector, supported by
-classical quotations, during which the boys cheered rapturously and the
-Rector looked as if he were going to be hung. He was one of the
-recognised glories of Muirtown, and was freely referred to at municipal
-banquets by bailies whose hearts had grown merry within them drinking
-the Queen's health, and was associated in the peroration to the toast of
-"the Fair City" with the North Meadow and the Fair Maid, and the River
-Tay and the County Gaol.
-
-Bulldog was of another breed. Whatever may have been his negligences of
-dress and occupation in private life--and on this subject Nestie and
-Speug told fearful lies--he exhibited the most exasperating regularity
-in public, from his copper-plate handwriting to his speckless dress, but
-especially by an inhuman and absolutely sinful punctuality. No one with
-a heart within him and some regard to the comfort of his fellow
-creatures, especially boys, had any right to observe times and seasons
-with such exactness. During all our time, except on the one great
-occasion I wish to record, he was never known to be ill, not even with a
-cold; and it was said that he never had been for a day off duty, even in
-the generation before us. His erect, spare frame, without an ounce of
-superfluous flesh, seemed impervious to disease, and there was a feeling
-in the background of our minds that for any illness to have attacked
-Bulldog would have been an act of impertinence which he would have known
-how to deal with. It was firmly believed that for the last fifty
-years--and some said eighty, but that was poetry--Bulldog had entered
-his class-room every morning, except on Saturdays, Sundays, and
-holidays, at 8.50, and was ready to begin work at the stroke of nine.
-There was a pleasant story that in the days of our fathers there had
-been such a fall of snow and so fierce a wind that the bridge had been
-drifted up, and no one could cross that morning from the other side. The
-boys from the south side of the town had brought news of the drift to
-the school, and the earlier arrivals, who had come in hope of a
-snow-fight, were so mightily taken with the news that they hurried to
-the Muirtown end of the bridge to look at the drift, and danced with joy
-at the thought that on the other side Bulldog was standing, for once
-helpless and dismayed. Speug's father, true ancestor of such a son, had
-shouted across the drift invitations for Bulldog to come over, secure in
-the fact that he could not be seen across its height, and in the hope
-that Bulldog would not know his voice. When they were weary celebrating
-the event, and after a pleasant encounter with a hastily organised
-regiment of message boys, the eager scholars sauntered along to the
-school, skirmishing as they went, just to be ready for the midday fight
-with the "Pennies." For the pure joy of it they opened the door of the
-mathematical class-room, merely to see how it looked when Bulldog was
-not there, and found that estimable teacher at his desk, waiting to
-receive them with bland courtesy. Some said that he had stayed in
-Muirtown all night, anticipating that drift, others that he had climbed
-over it in the early morning, before Muirtown was awake; but it was
-found out afterwards that he had induced old Duncan Rorison, the
-salmon-fisher, to ferry him across the flooded river, that it took them
-an hour to reach the Muirtown side, and that they had both been nearly
-drowned in the adventure.
-
-"Come in, my boys," was all that he said. "Ye're a little late, but the
-roads are heavy this morning. Come to the fire and warm yir hands before
-ye begin yir work. It's a fine day for mathematics," and Mr. McGuffie
-senior used to tell his son with much relish that their hands were
-warmed. The school was profoundly convinced that if necessary Bulldog
-would be prepared to swim the river rather than miss a day in the
-mathematical class-room.
-
-It was a pleasant spring morning, and the "marble" season had just
-begun, when Howieson, after a vicious and well-directed stroke which won
-him three "brownies," inquired casually whether anybody had seen Bulldog
-go in; for, notwithstanding the years which came and went, his passing
-in was always an occasion. Everyone then recollected that he had not
-been seen, but no one for a moment suggested that he had not arrived;
-and even when the school trooped into the class-room and found Bulldog's
-desk empty, there was no exhilaration and no tendency to take advantage
-of the circumstances. No one knew where he might be lying in wait, and
-from what quarter he might suddenly appear; and it was wonderful with
-what docility the boys began to work under the mild and beneficent reign
-of Mr. Byles, who had not at that time joined with the Dowbiggins in the
-unlawful pursuit of game. As the forenoon wore on there was certainly
-some curiosity, and Nestie was questioned as to Bulldog's whereabouts;
-but it was understood to be a point of honour with Nestie, as a member
-of his household, to give no information about Bulldog's movements, and
-so the school were none the wiser. There was some wild talk during the
-hour, and a dozen stories were afloat by afternoon. Next morning it was
-boldly said that Bulldog was ill, and some, who did not know what truth
-was, asserted that he was in bed, and challenged Nestie to deny the
-slander. That ingenious young gentleman replied vaguely but politely,
-and veiled the whole situation in such a mist of irrelevant detail that
-the school went in for the second day to the class-room rejoicing with
-trembling, and not at all sure whether Bulldog might not arrive in a
-carriage and pair, possibly with a large comforter round his throat, but
-otherwise full of spirits and perfectly fit for duty. It was only after
-the twelve o'clock break and a searching cross-examination of Nestie
-that the school could believe in the goodness of Providence, and felt
-like the Children of Israel on the other bank of the Red Sea. Some were
-for celebrating their independence in the North Meadow and treating Mr.
-Byles with absolute contempt; but there were others who judged with some
-acuteness that they could have the North Meadow any day, but they might
-never again have a full hour in the mathematical class-room without
-Bulldog. There seemed a certain fitness in holding the celebration amid
-the scenes of labour and discipline, and the mathematical class went in
-to wait on Mr. Byles's instruction in high spirits and without one
-missing. It is true that the Dowbiggins showed for the first time some
-reluctance in attending to their studies, but it was pointed out to them
-in a very firm and persuasive way by Speug that it would be disgraceful
-for them to be absent when Bulldog was ill, and that the class could not
-allow such an act of treachery. Speug was so full of honest feeling that
-he saw Thomas John safely within the door, and, since he threatened an
-unreasonable delay, assisted him across the threshold from behind. There
-is no perfectly full and accurate account extant of what took place
-between twelve and one that day in the mathematical class-room, but what
-may be called contributions to history oozed out and were gratefully
-welcomed by the school. It was told how Bauldie, being summoned by Mr.
-Byles to work a problem on the board, instead of a triangle drew a
-fetching likeness of Mr. Byles himself, and being much encouraged by the
-applause of the class, and having an artist's love of his work, thrust a
-pipe into Mr. Byles's mouth (pictorially), and blacked one of Mr.
-Byles's eyes (also pictorially), and then went to his seat with a sense
-of modest worth. That Mr. Byles, through a want of artistic
-appreciation, resented this Bohemian likeness of himself, and, moved by
-a Philistine spirit, would have wiped it from the board; but the senior
-members of the class would on no account allow any work by a young but
-promising master to be lost, and succeeded in the struggle in wiping
-Mr. Byles's own face with the chalky cloth. That Mr. Byles, instead of
-entering into the spirit of the day, lost his temper and went to
-Bulldog's closet for a cane; whereupon Speug, seizing the opportunity so
-pleasantly afforded, locked Mr. Byles in that place of retirement, and
-so kept him out of any further mischief for the rest of the hour. That
-as Mr. Byles had been deposed from office on account of his incapacity,
-and the place of mathematical master was left vacant, Speug was
-unanimously elected to the position, and gave an address, from Bulldog's
-desk, replete with popular humour. That as Thomas John did not seem to
-be giving such attention to his studies as might have been expected,
-Speug ordered that he be brought up for punishment, which was promptly
-done by Bauldie and Howieson. That after a long review of Thomas John's
-iniquitous career, Speug gave him the tawse with much faithfulness,
-Bauldie seeing that Thomas John held out his hand in a becoming fashion;
-then that unhappy young gentleman was sent to his seat with a warning
-from Speug that this must never occur again. That Nestie, having
-stealthily left the room, gave such an accurate imitation of Bulldog's
-voice in the passage--"Pack of little fiddlers taking advantage of my
-absence; but I'll warm them"--that there was an instantaneous rush for
-the seats; and when the door opened and Nestie appeared, the
-mathematical class-room was as quiet as pussy, and Speug was
-ostentatiously working at a mathematical problem. There are men living
-who look back on that day with modest, thankful hearts, finding in its
-remembrance a solace in old age for the cares of life; and the scene on
-which they dwell most fondly is Nestie, whose face had been whitened for
-his abominable trick, standing on the top of Bulldog's desk, and singing
-a school song with the manner of the Count and the accent of Moossy,
-while Speug with a cane in his hand compelled Dowbiggin to join in the
-chorus, and Byles could be heard bleating from the closet. Ah, me! how
-soon we are spoiled by this sinful world, and lose the sweet innocence
-of our first years! how poor are the rewards of ambition compared with
-the simple pleasures of childhood!
-
-It could not be expected that we should ever have another day as good
-again, but everyone had a firm confidence in the originality of Speug
-when it was a question of mischief. We gathered hopefully round the
-Russian guns next morning--for, as I have said, the guns were our forum
-and place of public address--and, while affecting an attitude of studied
-indifference, we waited with desire to hear the plan of campaign from
-our leader's lips. But Speug, like all great generals, was full of
-surprises, and that morning he was silent and unapproachable. Various
-suggestions were made for brightening the mathematical labours and
-cheering up Mr. Byles, till at last Howieson, weary of their futility,
-proposed that the whole class should go up to the top of the North
-Meadow and bathe in the river, and then Speug broke silence.
-
-"Ye may go to bathe if ye like, Jock, and Cosh may go with ye, and if
-he's drowned it'll be no loss, nor, for that matter, if the half of ye
-are carried down the river. For myself, I'm going to the mathematical
-class, and if onybody meddles wi' Byles I'll fight him in the back yard
-in the dinner-hour for half a dozen stone-gingers."
-
-"Is there onything wrang with your head, Speug?" For the thought of
-Peter busy with a triangle under the care and pastoral oversight of Mr.
-Byles could only be explained in one way.
-
-"No," replied Speug savagely, "nor with my fists, either. The fact
-is----" And then Speug hesitated, realising amid his many excellences a
-certain deficiency of speech for a delicate situation. "Nestie, what are
-ye glowering at? Get up on the gun and tell them aboot--what ye told me
-this meenut." And the school gathered in amazement round our pulpit, on
-which Nestie stood quite unconcerned.
-
-"It was very good fun-n yesterday, boys, but it won't do to-t-to-day.
-Bully's very ill, and Doctor Manley is afraid that he may--d-die, and it
-would be beastly bad form-m to be having larks when Bulldog
-is--maybe----" And Nestie came down hurriedly from the gun and went
-behind the crowd, while Speug covered his retreat in an aggressive
-manner, all the more aggressive that he did not seem himself to be quite
-indifferent.
-
-Manley said it. Then every boy knew it must be going hard with Bulldog;
-for there was not in broad Scotland a cleverer, pluckier, cheerier soul
-in his great profession than John Manley, M.D., of Edinburgh, with half
-a dozen honours of Scotland, England, and France. He had an insight into
-cases that was almost supernatural, he gave prescriptions which nobody
-but his own chemist could make up, he had expedients of treatment that
-never occurred to any other man, and then he had a way with him that
-used to bring people up from the gates of death and fill despairing
-relatives with hope. His arrival in the sick room, a little man, with
-brusque, sharp, straightforward manner, seemed in itself to change the
-whole face of things and beat back the tides of disease. He would not
-hear that any disease was serious, but he treated it as if it were; he
-would not allow a gloomy face in a sick room, and his language to women
-who began to whimper, when he got them outside the room, was such as tom
-cats would be ashamed of; and he regarded the idea of any person below
-eighty dying on his hands as a piece of incredible impertinence. All
-over Perthshire country doctors in their hours of anxiety and perplexity
-sent for Manley; and when two men like William McClure and John Manley
-took a job in hand together, Death might as well leave and go to
-another case, for he would not have a look in with those champions in
-the doorway. English sportsmen in lonely shooting-boxes sent for the
-Muirtown crack in hours of sudden distress, and then would go up to
-London and swear in the clubs that there was a man down there in a
-country town of Scotland who was cleverer than all the West End swell
-doctors put together. He would not allow big names of diseases to be
-used in his hearing, believing that the shadow killed more people than
-the reality, and fighting with all his might against the melancholy
-delight that Scots people have in serious sickness and other dreary
-dispensations. When Manley returned one autumn from a week's holiday and
-found the people of the North Free Kirk mourning in the streets over
-their minister, because he was dying of diphtheria, and his young wife
-asking grace to give her husband up if it were the will of God, Manley
-went to the house in a whirlwind of indignation, declaring that to call
-a sore throat diphtheria was a tempting of Providence, and that it was a
-mere mercy that they hadn't got the real disease "just for a judgment."
-It happened, however, that his treatment was exactly the same as that
-for diphtheria, and although he remarked that he didn't know whether it
-was necessary for him to come back again for such an ordinary case, he
-did drop in by a series of accidents twice a day for more than a week;
-and although no one dared to whisper it in his presence, there are
-people who think to this day that the minister had diphtheria. As
-Manley, however, insisted that it was nothing but a sore throat, the
-minister felt bound to get better, and the whole congregation would have
-thanked Manley in a body had it not been that he would have laughed
-aloud. Many a boy remembered the day when he had been ill and sweating
-with terror lest he should die--although he wouldn't have said that to
-any living creature--and Manley had come in like a breeze of fresh air,
-and declared that he was nothing but a "skulking young dog," with
-nothing wrong about him, except the desire to escape for three days from
-Bulldog.
-
-"Well, Jimmie, ye don't deserve it, for you're the most mischievous
-little rascal, except Peter McGuffie, in the whole of Muirtown; but I'll
-give you three days in bed, and your mother will let you have something
-nice to eat, and then out you go and back to the Seminary," and going
-out of the door Manley would turn round and shake his fist at the bed,
-"just a trick, nothing else." It might be three weeks before the boy was
-out of bed, but he was never afraid again, and had some heart to fight
-his disease.
-
-Boys are not fools, and the Seminary knew that, if Manley had allowed
-death to be even mentioned in connexion with Bulldog, it was more than
-likely that they would never see the master of the mathematical
-department again. And boys are a perfect absurdity, for--as sure as
-death--they were not glad. Bulldog had thrashed them all, or almost
-all, with faithfulness and perseverance, and some of them he had
-thrashed many times; he had never petted any of them, and never more
-than six times, perhaps, said a kind word to them in public. But that
-morning, as they stood silent, awkward and angry, round the guns, there
-is no doubt about it, the Seminary knew that it loved Bulldog. Never to
-see his erect figure and stern face come across the North Meadow, never
-to hear him say again from the desk, "Attention to your work, you little
-fiddlers"; never to watch him promenading down between the benches,
-overseeing each boy's task and stimulating the negligent on some tender
-part of their bodies; never to be thrashed by him again! At the thought
-of this calamity each boy felt bad in his clothes, and Speug, resenting
-what he judged the impertinent spying of Cosh, threatened to punch his
-head, and "learn Cosh to be watching him." As everybody knows, boys have
-no sentiment and no feeling, so the collapse of that morning must be set
-down to pure cussedness; but the school was so low that Byles ruled over
-them without resistance, and might have thrashed them if he had so
-pleased and had not ventured to use Bulldog's cane.
-
-Had they not been boys, they would have called at Bulldog's to learn how
-he was. Being boys, they avoided his name and pretended they were
-indifferent; but when they met Manley on the bridge that afternoon, and
-judged he had come from Bulldog's, they studied his face with the skill
-of wild animals, and concluded each one for himself that things were
-going badly with the master. They picked up every scrap of information
-from their fathers in the evening, although they fiercely resented the
-suggestion of their mothers that they would be concerned about "Mr.
-MacKinnon's illness"--as if they cared whether a master were ill or
-well, as if it were not better for them that he should be ill,
-especially such an old brute as Bulldog. And the average mother was very
-much disappointed by this lack of feeling, and said to her husband at
-night that she had expected better things from Archibald; but if she had
-gone suddenly into Bauldie's room--for that was his real name, Archibald
-being only the thing given in baptism--she would have found that
-truculent worthy sobbing aloud and covering his head with the blankets,
-lest his elder brother, who slept in the same room, should hear him. You
-have no reason to believe me, and his mother would not have believed me,
-but--as sure as death--Bauldie was crying because Bulldog was sick unto
-death.
-
-Next morning Speug and a couple of friends happened by the merest
-accident to be loitering at Bailie MacFarlane's shop window, and
-examining with interest the ancient furniture exposed, at the very time
-when that worthy magistrate came out and questioned Dr. Manley "How
-things were going up-bye wi' the maister?"
-
-"Not well, bailie, not well at all. I don't like the case; it looks bad,
-very bad indeed, and I'm not a croaker. Disease is gone, and he's a
-strong man, not a stronger in Muirtown than MacKinnon; but he has lost
-interest in things, and isn't making an effort to get better; just lying
-quiet and looking at you--says he's taking a rest, and if we don't get
-him waked up, I tell you, Bailie, it will be a long one."
-
-"Michty," said the Bailie, overcome with astonishment at the thought of
-Bulldog dying, as it were, of gentleness.
-
-"Yes, yes," said Manley; "but that's just the way with those strong,
-healthy men, who have never known a day's sickness till they are old;
-they break up suddenly. And he'll be missed. Bailie, Bulldog didn't
-thrash you and me, else we would have been better men; but he has
-attended to our boys."
-
-"He has been verra conscientious," and the Bailie shook his head, sadly
-mourning over a man who had laid down his life in discharge of
-discipline. But the boys departed without remark, and Speug loosened the
-strap of Bauldie's books, so that they fell in a heap upon the street,
-whereat there was a brisk interchange of ideas, and then the company
-went on its way rejoicing. So callous is a boy.
-
-Nestie was not at school that day, and perhaps that was the reason that
-Speug grew sulky and ill-tempered, taking offence if anyone looked at
-him, and picking quarrels in the corridors, and finally disappearing
-during the dinner-hour. It was supposed that he had broken bounds and
-gone to Woody Island, that forbidden Paradise of the Seminary, and that
-while the class was wasting its time with Byles, Peter was playing the
-Red Indian. He did not deny the charge next day, and took an hour's
-detention in the afternoon with great equanimity, but at the time he was
-supposed to be stalking Indians behind the trees, and shooting them as
-they floated down the river on a log, he was lying among the hay in his
-father's stable, hidden from sight, and--as sure as death--Speug was
-trying to pray for Bulldog.
-
-The virtues of Mr. McGuffie senior were those of the natural man, and
-Mr. McGuffie junior had never been present at any form of family
-prayers, nor had he attended a Sunday-school, nor had he sat under any
-minister in particular. He had no training in devotional exercises,
-although he had enjoyed an elaborate education in profanity under his
-father and the grooms, and so his form of prayer was entirely his own.
-
-"God, I dinna ken how to call You, but they say Ye hear onybody. I'm
-Peter McGuffie, but mebbe Ye will ken me better by Speug. I'm no' a good
-laddie like Nestie, and I'm aye gettin' the tawse, but I'm awful fond of
-Bulldog. Dinna kill Bulldog, God; dinna kill Bulldog! If Ye let him aff
-this time I'll never say any bad words again--as sure as death--and I'll
-never play truant, and I'll never slap Dowbiggin's face, and I'll never
-steal birds' eggs, and I'll never set the terrier on the cats. I'll wash
-my face and--my hands, too, and I'll go to the Sabbath-schule, and I'll
-do onything Ye ask me if Ye'll let off Bulldog. For ony sake, dinna kill
-Bulldog."
-
-When Dr. Manley came out from the master's garden door that evening he
-stumbled upon Speug, who was looking very miserable, but began to
-whistle violently the moment he was detected, and denied that he had
-come to ask for news.
-
-"You did, you young limmer, and you needn't tell me lies, for I know
-you, Speug, and your father before you. I wish I'd good news to give
-you, but I haven't. I fear you've had your last thrashing from Bulldog."
-
-For a moment Speug kicked at a stone on the road and thrust his hands
-deep into his pockets; then the corners of his mouth began to twitch,
-and turning round he hid his face upon the wall, while his tough little
-body that had stood many a fight shook all over. Doctor Manley was the
-first person that had seen Speug cry, and he stood over him to protect
-him from the gaze of any wandering message boys who might come along the
-lane. By and by Speug began to speak between his sobs.
-
-"It was a lee, Doctor, for I did come up to ask, but I dinna like to
-let on.... I heard ye say that ye couldna rouse Bulldog to take an
-interest in onything, and I thought o' something."
-
-"What was it, Speug?" and the doctor laid his hands on the boy's
-shoulder and encouraged him to proceed. "I'll never tell, you may trust
-me."
-
-"Naething pleased Bulldog sae weel as givin' us a lickin'; if he juist
-had a cane in his hands and a laddie afore him, Bulldog would sune be
-himsel' again, and--there's no a laddie in schule he's licked as often
-as me. And I cam up----" and Speug stuck.
-
-"To offer yourself for a thrashing, you mean. You've mentioned the
-medicine; 'pon my word, I believe it's just the very thing that will do
-the trick. Confound you, Speug! if you haven't found out what I was
-seeking after, and I've been doctoring those Muirtown sinners for more
-than thirty years. Come along, laddie; we've had our consultation, and
-we'll go to the patient." And Manley hurried Speug through the garden
-and into the house. "Wait a minute here," said the doctor, "and I'll
-come back to you." And in a little while Nestie came down-stairs and
-found his friend in the lobby, confused and frightened for the first
-time in his life, and Nestie saw the marks of distress upon his face.
-"Doctor M-Manley told me, Speug, and" (putting an arm round his neck)
-"you're the g-goodest chap in Muirtown. It's awfully d-decent of you,
-and it'll p-please Bully tremendous." And then Speug went up as
-consulting physician to visit Bulldog. Nestie brought him forward to the
-bedside, and at last he had courage to look, and it took him all his
-time to play the man when he saw Bulldog so thin, so quiet, so gentle,
-with his face almost as white as the pillow, and his hands upon the
-bedclothes wasted like to the hands of a skeleton. The master smiled
-faintly, and seemed to be glad to see the worst of all his scholars, but
-he did not say anything. Dr. Manley kept in the background and allowed
-the boys to manage their own business, being the wisest of men as well
-as the kindliest. Although Nestie made signs to Speug and gave him every
-encouragement, Peter could not find a word, but stood helpless, biting
-his lip and looking the very picture of abject misery.
-
-"Peter has come, sir," said Nestie, "to ask for you. He is very sorry
-that you are ill, and so are all the boys. Peter thought you might be
-wearying to--to use the c-cane, and Peter is wearying, too. Just a
-little one, sir, to p-please Speug," and Nestie laid an old cane he had
-hunted up, a cane retired from service, upon the bed within reach of
-Bulldog's hand. A twinkle of amusement came into the master's eye, the
-first expression of interest he had shown during his illness. He turned
-his head and looked at Peter, the figure of chastened mischief. The
-remembrance of the past--the mathematical class-room, the blackboard
-with its figures, the tricks of the boys, the scratching of the pens,
-came up to him, and his soul was stirred within him. His hand closed
-again upon the sceptre of authority, and Peter laid a grimy paw open
-upon the bedclothes. The master gave it one little stroke with all the
-strength he had. "The fiddlers," he said softly, "the little fiddlers
-can't do without me, after all." A tear gathered in his eye and
-overflowed and rolled down Bulldog's cheek. Manley hurried the boys out
-of the room, who went into the garden, and, being joined by the master's
-dog, the three together played every monkey trick they knew, while
-upstairs in the sick-room Manley declared that Bulldog had turned the
-corner and would soon be back again among his "fiddlers."
-
-[Illustration: "HIS HAND CLOSED AGAIN UPON THE SCEPTRE OF AUTHORITY."]
-
-The doctor insisted upon driving Peter home to his native stable-yard,
-for this was only proper courtesy to a consulting physician. He called
-him "Doctor" and "Sir Peter" and such like names all the way, whereat
-Peter was so abashed that friends seeing him sitting in Manley's
-phaeton, with such an expression on his face, spread abroad the tale
-that the doctor was bringing him home with two broken legs as the result
-of riding a strange horse. The doctor bade him good-bye in the presence
-of his father, tipping him ten shillings to treat the school on the news
-of Bulldog's convalescence, and next day stone-ginger was flowing like
-water down the throats of the Seminary.
-
-
-
-
-A PLEASANT SIN
-
-XI
-
-
-Captious people, such as ministers of religion and old maids of the
-precise kind, considered that the Seminary were guilty of many sins and
-mentioned them freely; but those excellent people erred through lack of
-vision. Hunting mice in Moossy's class-room, putting the Dowbiggins'
-clothes into a state of thorough repair, raiding the territory of the
-"Pennies," having a stand-up fight between two well-matched champions,
-say, once a month, and "ragging" Mr. Byles, might have an appearance of
-evil, but were in reality disguised virtues, feeding the high spirit of
-those who were active, and teaching the Christian grace of meekness to
-those who were passive. There was only one act which the Seminary knew
-it ought not to do, and which all the boys wanted to do, which they
-enjoyed very much in doing, and were quite willing to be punished for
-doing. The besetting sin of a school--a country school--which will
-remain its sin until the days of the millennium have fairly set in, was
-playing truant.
-
-This crime was equivalent to high treason in the State, and consisted in
-a boy absenting himself from school without the knowledge of his
-parents, and without the consent of his master, for a day or half of a
-day. The boy did not disappear because he was ill, for he was on such
-occasions outrageously well: nor because he was overburdened by work,
-for the truants always guarded themselves against brain fag; nor because
-he wanted to hang about the streets, or smoke in secret places. He was
-simply seized with the passion of the open air and of the country. To
-tramp through the bosky woods, hunting for birds' eggs and watching the
-ways of wild animals; to guddle for trout under the stones of some clear
-running mountain burn, or to swim in the cool water on a summer day, or
-to join the haymakers on a farm, and do a full day's work, as long as
-lesson time and harder. There was a joy in escaping from bounds, as if
-an animal had broken out from a menagerie; there was joy in thinking, as
-you lay beside your burn or under the shadow of a tree, of the fellows
-mewed up in the hot class-room and swatting at their sums, under
-Bulldog's eye; and joy in coming home in the evening, tired, but
-satisfied, and passing the empty Seminary with defiance. There is no
-joy--I mean sin--but has its drawbacks, and there were clouds in the
-truant's sky. Country folk had their own suspicions when they came on a
-couple of boys going at large on a working day, when the school was in
-session, as one might have a shrewd guess if he came upon two convicts
-in their professional dress fishing in some lonely spot on Dartmoor. But
-there is a charitable sympathy with all animals who have escaped from a
-cage, unless it be a tigress looking for her dinner, and no one would
-have thought of informing on the boys, except one bad man; and
-Providence, using Speug as an instrument, punished him for his evil
-doings--as I shall tell.
-
-"Well, laddies," some honest farmer would say, as he came upon them
-sitting by the burnside eating bread and cheese and counting up their
-trout, "I'm judgin' it will be a holiday at the Seminary the now, or
-mebbe the maister's given ye a day's leave for yir health. Or is this
-the reward for doing yir work so well? Ye have all the appearance of
-scholars." And then the good man would laugh at the simple raillery and
-the confusion of the boys.
-
-"Dinna answer, laddies; for least said soonest mended, and ye mind where
-leears go to. But I'm thinkin' ye wadna be the worse for a jug of milk
-to wash down your dinner, and there's some strawberries in the garden up
-by, just about ripe."
-
-So they all went up to the farm kitchen and had a glorious tuck in, and
-were afterwards turned loose among the strawberries, while the farmer
-watched them with keen delight and a remembrance of past days. Whose
-place in heaven for such deeds of charity is already secure.
-
-The authorities at home were not so lenient, and the experienced truant
-was careful, when he could, to time his arrival home about five o'clock
-in the afternoon, which allowed for the school hours and one hour more
-of special confinement. According to the truant's code he was not
-allowed to tell a lie about his escapade, either at home or at school,
-but he was not obliged to offer a full and detailed statement of the
-truth. If his father charged him with being kept in at school for not
-having done his work, and rebuked him for his laziness, he allowed it to
-go at that, and did not accuse his father of inaccuracy. When, however,
-a boy was by habit and repute a truant, his father learned by experience
-and was apt to watch him narrowly. If the boy had an extra touch of the
-sun on his face, and his clothing was disorderly beyond usual, and his
-manner was especially unobtrusive, and his anxiety to please every
-person quite remarkable, and if in moments of unconsciousness he seemed
-to be chewing the cud of some recent pleasure, the father was apt to
-subject him to a searching cross-examination. And his mother had to beg
-the boy off with many a plea, such as mothers know how to use; and if
-the others did not succeed, and the appeal to the heart was in vain, she
-could always send the good man back upon his memory, and put it to his
-conscience whether he ought to visit too severely upon his son the sin
-the boy had inherited from himself.
-
-It was next morning that the truant really paid for his pleasure; and
-the price was sharp, for there was no caning to be compared with that
-which followed a day in the country. It was a point of honour that no
-boy should show distress; but even veterans bit their lips as the cane
-fell first on the right hand and then on the left, and right across the
-palm, and sometimes doubling on the back of the hand, if the cane was
-young and flexible. Speug, though a man of war and able to endure
-anything, used to warm his hands at the fire, if the weather was cold,
-before going in to the inquisition, and after he had received a
-switching of the first order he would go down to the lade and cool his
-hands in the running water. It was an interesting spectacle to see four
-able-bodied sinners, who yesterday had given themselves to the study of
-Nature, now kneeling together, to efface their penalty in our waters of
-Lethe; but you must remember that they made no moan before the boys, and
-no complaint against the master. The school received them with respect
-when they came out, and Speug would indicate with a wink and a jerk of
-his head that Bulldog had exceeded himself; but he was not to be trifled
-with for an hour or two, and if any ill-mannered cub ventured to come
-too near when Peter was giving his hands a cold bath, the chances are
-that Peter gave the cub a bath, too, "just to teach him to be looking
-where he had no business."
-
-Possibly fear of consequences might hinder some weak-hearted boys, but
-it never prevented any of the hardy ruffians from having their day out
-when the fever seized them. Playing truant was the same thing for a boy
-as bolting for a high-spirited horse; done once, the animal is bound to
-try it again, and to both, the joy of their respective sins must be very
-much the same. Boys did not plan a week ahead and then go astray in cold
-blood, because this sin was not an act of malice aforethought--it was a
-sudden impulse, not a matter of the will so much as of the blood. Had
-one determined on Tuesday night to take Wednesday, it might have turned
-out in our fickle climate a cheerless day, when a boy would as soon be
-playing marbles in the breaks, or cricket in the dinner-hour, or, for
-that matter, amusing himself in Moossy's class. No; a boy rose in the
-morning ready to go to school, without a thought of wood or
-water--arranging his marbles, in fact, for the day, and planning how to
-escape a lesson he had not prepared; but he was helpless against Nature
-if she set herself to tempt him. No sooner had he put his nose outside
-the door than the summer air, sweet and fresh, began to play upon his
-face and reminded him of a certain wood. As he went through the streets
-of the town, a glimpse of the river, steely blue that morning in the
-sunshine, brought up a pool where a fat trout was sure to be lying. As
-he crossed the North Meadow, the wind was blowing free from the
-Highlands, and was laden with the scent of hay and flowers, and sent his
-blood a-tingling. The books upon his back grew woefully heavy, and the
-Seminary reminded him of the city gaol frowning out on the fields with
-its stately and unrelenting face. He loitered by the lade and saw the
-clear water running briskly, and across the meadow he could catch a
-glimpse of the river, and in the distance the Kilspindie Woods with
-their mysterious depths, and rising high above the houses on the other
-side of the river was the hill where he spent last Saturday. The bell
-rings and he goes in, but not to work; the river is running through his
-heart, and the greenery is before his eyes, and the wind coming in puffs
-through the open window awakens the instinct of the wild animal in his
-breast and invites him to be free. Speug has a slate before him, but he
-is not pretending to do anything, he is looking out on the Meadow, and
-sniffing the air, just like a horse about to make its bolt. He catches
-Howieson's eye and reads that Jock is ready. Howieson inquires by signal
-of Bauldie whether he prefers compound fractions to a swim, and Bauldie
-explains, also by signal, that, much as he loves fractions, he will be
-obliging that afternoon and join them in their swim. A fourth would
-complete the party; and when Speug lifts his eyebrows with great
-dramatic art to "Piggie" Mitchell, three desks off, "Piggie," like the
-gallant spirit that he was, answers with a nod that he will not be found
-wanting. Not a word has been said, and no one will say "Truant" at any
-time, but at the next break the four separate themselves quietly and
-unobtrusively from their fellows, and by the time the last boy has gone
-through the door, they are scudding across the meadow to Speug's
-stable-yard, where they will make their preparations. Sometimes nothing
-more is needed than a hunch of bread and some fish-hooks; but as they
-ran Speug had dropped the word Woody Island, and a day on Woody Island
-was a work of art. It lay a couple of miles above the town, long and
-narrow, formed with a division of the river into its main current and a
-sluggish backwater. It was covered with dense brushwood, except where
-here and there a patch of green turf was left bare, and the island was
-indented with little bays where the river rippled on clean sand and
-gravel. It was only a little island, but yet you could lose yourself in
-it, so thick was the wood and so mazy, and then you had to find your
-comrades by signal; and it had little tracks through it, and there was
-one place where you could imagine a hole in the bank to be a cave, and
-where certainly two boys could get out of sight if they lay very close
-together and did not mind being half smothered. When you went to Woody
-Island, and left the mainland, you were understood to blot out the
-Seminary and Muirtown and Scotland and civilisation. Woody Island was
-somewhere in the wild West, and was still in the possession of the
-children of the forest; the ashes of their fires could be seen any day
-there, and you could come upon their wigwams in one of the open spots.
-There was a place where they had massacred three trappers and taken
-their scalps, and in that cave "Bull's-eye Charlie," the famous Indian
-scout, lying curled up like a ball, and with only the mouth of his rifle
-peeping out, had held twenty of the red-skinned braves at bay for a
-whole day. It was a fairy world in which our Indian tales could be
-reproduced upon the stage, and we ourselves could be the heroes we had
-so often admired. The equipment for the day consisted of four tomahawks
-(three axes out of small tool chests and one axe for breaking coals
-which "Piggie" used to steal for the day) two pistols (one belonging to
-Speug and the other to Bauldie); a couple of toy rifles--not things for
-kids, mark you, but long rifles with bayonets, and which could fire
-caps; a tent, which was in reality an old carriage cloth from Peter's
-yard; and a kettle for boiling water--I mean cooking the game--which
-Jock Howieson abstracted from his kitchen. Each boy had to visit his
-home on pretence of returning for a book, and bring away the necessary
-articles of war and as much food as he could steal from the pantry; and
-then everything, axes included, and, if possible, the rifles had to be
-hidden away about their persons until the four, skulking by back lanes,
-and separating from one another, reached the top of the North Meadow,
-after which they went up the bank of the river, none daring to make them
-afraid. They were out of bounds now, and the day was before them for
-weal or woe, and already Speug was changing into an Indian trapper, and
-giving directions about how they must deal with the Seminoles (see Mayne
-Reid), while Howieson had begun to speculate whether they would have a
-chance of meeting with the famous chief, Oceola. "Piggie" might want to
-try a cap on his rifle, but Speug would not allow him, because, although
-they had not yet entered the Indian territory, the crafty foe might have
-scouts out on this side of the river, and in that case there was no hope
-of Woody Island. The Indians would be in ambush among the trees on the
-bank, and the four would be shot down as they crossed.
-
-Their first enemy, however, was not Oceola's Indians, but a white man--a
-renegade--who, to his shame, was in alliance with the Indians and was
-always ready to betray the trappers into their hands. This miscreant was
-a farmer on the mainland, who was the tenant of Woody Island, and had a
-determined objection to any boys, or other savages, except, as I have
-said, the Seminole tribe living on the island, and who used to threaten
-pains and penalties against anyone whom he caught on his land. One never
-knew when he might be about, and it was absolutely necessary to reach
-the island without his notice. There was a day in the past when Speug
-used to watch till the farmer had gone into his midday dinner, and then
-creep along the bank of the river and ferry himself across with the
-other trappers in the farmer's boat, which he then worked round to the
-other side of the island and kept there for the return voyage in the
-evening, so that the farmer was helpless to reach the island, and could
-only address the unseen trespassers in opprobrious language from the
-bank, which was sent back to him in faithful echo. This forenoon the
-farmer happened to be hoeing turnips with his people in a field opposite
-the island, and Speug was delighted beyond measure, for now the four had
-to drop down and crawl along through the thick grass by the river's
-edge, availing themselves of every bush and little knoll till they lay,
-with all their arms, the tent, and the food, concealed so near the
-farmer that they could hear him speak and hear the click of the hoes as
-the people worked in their drills. If you raised your head cautiously
-and looked through between the branches of a shrub, you could see him,
-and Bauldie actually covered him with his rifle. The unconscious farmer
-knew not that his life hung upon a thread, or, rather, upon Bauldie's
-trigger. Bauldie looked inquiringly to his chief, for he would dearly
-have loved to fire a cap, but Speug shook his head so fiercely that the
-trapper dropped down in his lair, and Speug afterwards explained that
-the renegade had certainly deserved death, but that it was dangerous to
-fire with so many of his gang present, and the Seminoles on the other
-side of the river. By and by the farmer and his people had worked
-themselves to the other end of the field, and the trappers, having
-ascertained that there were no Indians watching them, prepared to cross.
-Speug, who had reached the boat, spoke out suddenly and unadvisedly, for
-the farmer had chained and padlocked the boat. It would not have
-mattered much to the boys in ordinary circumstances, for they would have
-stripped and swum across, and back again when they were tired of the
-other side, for every one of them could swim like an otter; but that day
-they were trappers, with arms, and food, and a tent, and powder which
-must be kept dry, to say nothing of the kettle. There was a brief
-consultation, and Bauldie regretted that he did not shoot the farmer
-dead on the spot, and as many of his people as they could. Speug, who
-had been prowling around--though cautiously, mind you, and ever watching
-for a sign of the Seminoles--gave a low, mysterious whistle, which was
-one of the signs among the trappers; and when the others joined him he
-pointed and whispered, "A Seminole canoe." It was an ancient boat which
-the farmer's father had used, and which had lain for years upon the
-bank, unused. Its seats were gone, its planks were leaking, it had two
-holes at least in it, and there were no oars. It was a thing which, in
-the farmer's hand, would have sunk six yards from the shore, but it had
-the semblance of a boat, and it was enough for the hardy trappers. Very
-carefully did they work it to the bank, lest it should slip a whole
-plank on the road, and very gently did they drop it in, lest the
-Seminoles should hear. "Piggie" stuffed one hole with his bonnet, and
-Bauldie the second with his; Jock spread his jacket over an oozy part.
-They shipped all their stores, and one of them got in to bale, and the
-others, stripping off their clothes and adding them to the cargo of the
-boat, pushed out the boat before them, swimming by its side. It was a
-mere question of time whether the boat would go down in mid-channel; but
-so splendidly did "Piggie" bale, ready at any moment to swim for his
-life, and so powerfully did the others push, swimming with their feet
-and one hand, and with the other hand guiding the boat, that they
-brought it over safely to the other side; and the fact that half their
-clothes were wet through mattered little to men who had often hidden
-from the Indians in the water, with nothing but their eyes and nose out;
-and, at any rate, the food was safe. The matches and the percussion caps
-also were dry, for "Piggie" had taken care of that, and, in the worst
-emergency, they would have been carried on the top of his head if he
-also had been obliged to swim. They brought the boat into a little
-creek, and, communicating by signs to one another--for they were too
-old hunters to be speaking now, when there might be a party of Seminoles
-in that very wood--Speug and Jock hid themselves, each behind a tree
-with rifle in hand, to cover the others, while "Piggie" and Bauldie drew
-the boat up under cover of the bushes, and hid it out of sight, so that
-even a Seminole's keen eyes would not have been able to detect it. The
-trappers made another hiding-place, and left there the superfluous
-garments of civilisation, confining themselves to a shirt and trousers,
-and a belt which holds the pistol and tomahawk. Speug and Jock, as the
-two veterans who could discover the trail of the Seminoles by a twisted
-leaf on a branch, or a broken stick on the ground, warned their friends
-to lie low, and they themselves disappeared into the brushwood. They had
-gone to scout, and to make sure that no wandering party of Indians was
-in the vicinity. By and by a wood-pigeon cooed three times, "Piggie"
-nodded to Bauldie, and Bauldie hooted like an owl, then they knew that
-it was safe to advance. The two rejoined the scouts, whom they found on
-the edge of a clearing, leaning on their rifles in a picturesque
-attitude. "Bull's-eye Charlie" led, and the others followed, pausing now
-and again at a sound in the woods, and once at a signal from
-"Bull's-eye" they separated swiftly, and each took up his position
-behind a tree. But it was a false alarm. Then they went on as before,
-till they came to a pretty spot on the other side of the island, where
-they made their camp, cutting a pole for the tent, lighting a fire,
-which they did with immense success, and proceeding to cook dinner. As
-they had been afraid to fire, for fear of attracting any wandering
-Indian's notice, they had no deer nor wild turkey, which, in other
-circumstances, would have been their food; but they made tea (very
-badly, and largely because they wished to use the kettle), and they had
-bread and butter, which had turned into oil through the warmth of
-Bauldie's person, a half ham which Speug contributed, a pot of jam for
-which "Piggie" will have to account some day, and six jam tarts which
-Howieson bought with his last farthing, and which had been reduced
-practically to one in Jock's pocket. Speug had managed two bottles of
-stone ginger-beer, which were deeply valued, and afforded them a big
-mouthful each, as they drank without any cup, and shared honestly by
-calculation of time.
-
-[Illustration: "THEY DRANK WITHOUT ANY CUP."]
-
-What a day they had! They fought Indians from one end of the island to
-the other, killing and scalping twenty-nine. They bathed in the quieter
-current on the other side, and they dried themselves in the sun, and in
-the sun they slept till they were burned red; and then just as they were
-thinking that it was time to go back to the camp and gather together
-their belongings and set off for home, Speug gave a whistle that had in
-it this time no pretence of danger, and bolted into the wood, followed
-by the other three. Whether he had heard the firing, or the Seminoles
-had sent a message, they never knew, but the farmer was on the island
-and proceeding in their direction through the brushwood. Speug did not
-think that he had seen them, and he would not quite know where they
-were, and in an instant that leader of men had formed what he thought
-the best of all his plans. He gave his directions to the other three,
-who executed a war-dance at the mere thought of the strategy, and then
-departed hurriedly for the camp; but Speug, who was naked, and not
-ashamed, started rapidly in an opposite direction, and just gave the
-farmer a glimpse of him as he hurried up the island.
-
-"Ye're there, are ye, ye young blackguards! Wait till I catch ye;
-trespassin' and lightin' fires, I'll be bound; it's Perth gaol ye'll be
-in the nicht, or I'm no farmer of Middleton. Ye may hide if ye please,
-but I'll find ye, and ye'll no get the old boat to go back in, for I've
-found that, clever as ye thought yourselves, and knocked the bottom oot
-o' it."
-
-It was twenty minutes before he discovered Speug, and then Speug was
-standing on the edge of the water at the top of the island, where the
-current runs swift and strong towards the other side.
-
-"Was it me ye were seekin'?" said Speug, rosy red all over, but not with
-modesty. "I thought I heard somebody crying. We're glad to see ye on the
-island. Have ye come to bathe?"
-
-"Wait till I get a grip of ye, ye impident little deevil, and, my word,
-I'll bathe ye," and the farmer made for Speug.
-
-"I'll bathe mysel'," said Speug, when the enemy almost had his hands on
-him, and dived into the river, coming up nearly opposite the horrified
-man; and then, as he went down with the current which took him over to
-the opposite side, he invited the farmer to come in. When he landed
-Speug bade the farmer good-bye with much courtesy, and hoped he would
-enjoy himself among his Indian friends.
-
-"Wait till I cross," shouted the farmer, "and I'll be after ye, and
-though I ransack Muirtown I'll find ye out. Ye're a gey like spectacle
-to go back to the town. Ye'll no escape me this time, whoever ye be,"
-and the farmer hurried down the island to his boat, which he had loosely
-fastened to one of the trees. When he reached the spot it was not to be
-found, but he could see his boat lying in its accustomed place on the
-other side, chained and padlocked. For the other three trappers had
-gathered all their possessions and clothed themselves like gentlemen,
-and taking Speug's clothes with them, ferried themselves across with
-rapidity and dignity. Once more Speug bade the farmer good-night,
-extending both hands to him in farewell, but now the one hand was in
-front of the other, and the thumb of the inner hand attached to Speug's
-nose. He thoughtfully offered to take any message to Muirtown gaol or
-to the Provost that the farmer desired, and departed, wishing him a
-pleasant night and telling him where he would find the shank of a ham.
-As Peter dressed himself, his friends could only look at him in silent
-admiration, till at the thought of the renegade trapped so neatly and
-confined for at least a night on his own island, Howieson slapped his
-legs and triumphed aloud. And the four returned to Muirtown and to
-civilisation full of joy.
-
-
-
-
-GUERILLA WARFARE
-
-XII
-
-
-There is no person in a Scots country town to be compared with a Bailie
-for authority and dignity, and Bailie MacConachie, of Muirtown, was a
-glory to his order. Provosts might come and go--creatures of three
-years--but this man remained in office for ever, and so towered above
-his brethren of the same kind, that the definite article was attached to
-his title, and to quote "the Bailie" without his name was the recognised
-form and an end to all controversy. Nature had been kind to him, and,
-entering into the designs of Providence, had given him a bodily
-appearance corresponding to his judicial position. He stood six feet in
-his boots, and his erect carriage conveyed the impression of six inches
-more. His waistband passed forty-eight inches; but, to do the great man
-justice, his chest measure was forty-two. His chin rested in folds upon
-his stock, and his broad, clean-shaven, solemn, immovable countenance
-suggested unfathomable depths of wisdom. His voice was deep and husky,
-and the clearance of his throat with which he emphasised his
-deliverances could be heard half a street away and was like the sealing
-of a legal deed. Never since he became a Bailie had he seen his
-boots--at least upon his feet--and his gait, as became his elevation,
-was a stately amble, as when a huge merchant-man puts out to sea,
-driving the water before her bow and yet swaying gently from side to
-side in her progress. Sunday and Saturday--except when officiating at
-the Sacrament, and of course he was then in full blacks--the Bailie wore
-exactly the same kind of dress--a black frock-coat, close buttoned, and
-grey trousers, with a dark blue stock, his one concession to colour. As
-his position was quite assured, being, in the opinion of many, second
-only to that of the Sheriff and the Fiscal, he could afford to wear his
-clothes to the bone, and even to carry one or two stains upon his paunch
-as a means of identification. Walking through the town, he stood at his
-full height, with his hands folded upon the third button of his coat;
-but when he reached the North Meadow, on his way home, and passed the
-Seminary, he allowed his head to droop, and clasped his hands behind
-after the manner of the great Napoleon, and then it was understood that
-the Bailie's mind was wrestling with the affairs of State. People made
-way for him upon the streets as he sailed along, and were pleased with a
-recognition, which always took the form of a judgment from the Bench,
-even though it dealt only with the weather or the crops.
-
-There was no occasion, either in the Council or in the Presbytery, when
-the Bailie did not impress; but every one agreed that he rose to his
-height on the Bench. No surprise, either of evidence or of law, could be
-sprung on him, no sensational incident ever stirred him, no excitement
-of the people ever carried him away. He was the terror of the publicans,
-and would refuse a license if he saw fit without any fear; but if the
-teetotalers tried to dictate to him, he would turn upon them and rend
-his own friends without mercy. When any Muirtown sinner was convicted in
-his court he would preface his sentence with a ponderous exhortation,
-and if the evidence were not sufficient he would allow the accused to go
-as an act of grace, but warn him never to appear again, lest a worse
-thing should befall him. There are profane people in every community,
-and there were those in Muirtown who used to say in private places that
-the Bailie was only a big drum, full of emptiness and sound; but the
-local lawyers found it best to treat him with respect; and until the
-Seminary boys took his Majesty in hand he had never been worsted. No
-doubt an Edinburgh advocate, who had been imported into a petty case to
-browbeat the local Bench, thought he had the Bailie on the hip when that
-eminent man, growing weary of continual allusions to "the defunct," said
-that if he heard anything more about "the defunct" he would adjourn the
-case for a week, and allow him to appear in his own interests. Then the
-advocate explained with elaborate politeness that he was afraid that
-even the summons of the Muirtown Bench could not produce this party, and
-that his appearance, if he came, might secure the court to himself.
-
-"You mean," said the Bailie, eyeing the advocate with unmoved dignity,
-"that the man is dead. Quite so! Quite so! But let me tell you that if
-you had been a Muirtown solicitor you would have had your case better
-prepared, and not wasted our time with the talk of dead people. You are
-still young, and when you have had more experience you will know that it
-is only the evidence of living witnesses that can be received in a court
-of justice. Proceed with your case and confine yourself to relevant
-evidence--yes, sir, relevant evidence."
-
-It only shows the inherent greatness of the man, that in private life
-the Bailie followed the calling of an Italian warehouseman, which
-really, in plain words, was the same thing as a superior grocer, nor was
-he above his trade for eight hours of the day. When not engaged in
-official work, he could be found behind his counter, and yet even there
-he seemed to be upon the Bench. His white apron he wore as a robe of
-office, he heard what the ladies had to say with a judicial air,
-correcting them if they hinted at any tea costing less than four and
-sixpence per pound, commanding a cheese to be brought forward for
-inspection, as if it had been a prisoner in the dock, probing it with
-searching severity and giving a judgment upon it from which there was no
-appeal. He distinguished between customers, assigning to each such
-provisions as were suitable for their several homes, inquiring in a
-paternal manner after the welfare of their children, and when the case
-was concluded--that is to say, the tea and the sugar bought--even
-condescending to a certain high level of local gossip. When the customer
-left the shop it was with a sense of privilege, as if one had been
-called up for a little to sit with the judge. It was understood that
-only people of a certain standing were included among the Bailie's
-customers, and the sight of the Countess of Kilspindie's carriage at his
-door marked out his province of business. Yet if a little lassie
-stumbled into the shop and asked for a pennyworth of peppermints, he
-would order her to be served, adding a peppermint or two more, and some
-good advice which sent away the little woman much impressed; for though
-the Bailie committed one big, blazing indiscretion, and suffered
-terribly in consequence thereof, he was a good and honest man.
-
-The Bailie made only one public mistake in his life, but it was on the
-largest scale, and every one wondered that a man so sagacious should
-have deliberately entered into a feud with the boys of the Seminary. The
-Bailie had battled in turn with the Licensed Victuallers, who as a
-fighting body are not to be despised, and with the Teetotalers, whom
-every wise man who loves peace of mind leaves alone; with the Tories,
-who were his opponents, and with the Liberals, his own party, when he
-happened to disagree with them; with the Town Council, whom he
-vanquished, and with the Salmon Fishery Board, whom he brought to terms;
-but all those battles were as nothing to a campaign with the boys. There
-is all the difference in the world between a war with regulars,
-conducted according to the rules of military science, and a series of
-guerilla skirmishes, wherein all the chances are with the alert and
-light-armed enemy. Any personage who goes to war with boys is bound to
-be beaten, for he may threaten and attack, but he can hardly ever hurt
-them, and never possibly can conquer them; and they will buzz round him
-like wasps, will sting him and then be off, will put him to shame before
-the public, will tease him on his most sensitive side, will lie in wait
-for him in unexpected places with an ingenuity and a perseverance and a
-mercilessness which are born of the Devil, who in such matters is the
-unfailing ally of all genuine boys.
-
-It was no doubt annoying to a person of the Bailie's dignity and
-orderliness to see the terrace in which the Seminary stood, and which
-had the honour of containing his residence, turned into a playground,
-and outrageous that Jock Howieson, playing rounders in front of a
-magistrate's residence, should send the ball crack through the
-plate-glass window of a magistrate's dining-room. It was fearsome
-conduct on the part of Jock, and even the ball itself should have known
-better; but the Bailie might have been certain that Jock did not intend
-to lose his ball and his game also, and the maddest thing the magistrate
-could do was to make that ball a cause of war. It was easy enough to go
-to Bulldog's class-room and lodge a complaint, but as he could not
-identify the culprit, and no one would tell on Jock, the Bailie departed
-worsted, and the address which he gave the boys was received with
-derision. When he turned from the boys to the master, he fared no
-better, for Bulldog who hated tell-tales and had no particular respect
-for Bailies, told the great man plainly that his (Bulldog's)
-jurisdiction ceased at the outer door of the Seminary, and that it was
-not his business to keep order in the Terrace. Even the sergeant, when
-the Bailie commanded him to herd the boys in the courtyard, forgot the
-respect due to a magistrate, and refused point-blank, besides adding a
-gratuitous warning, which the Bailie deeply resented, to let the matter
-drop, or else he'd repent the day when he interfered with the laddies.
-
-"I was a sergeant in the Black Watch, Bailie, and I was through the
-Crimean War--ye can see my medals; but it takes me all my time to keep
-the pack in hand within my ain jurisdiction; and if ye meddle wi' them
-outside yir jurisdiction, I tell ye, Bailie, they'll mak' a fool o' ye
-afore they're done w' ye in face o' all Muirtown. There's a way o'
-managin' them, but peety ye if ye counter them. Noo, when they broke the
-glass in the Count's windows, if he didna pretend that he couldna
-identify them and paid the cost himself! He may be French, but he's
-long-headed, for him and the laddies are that friendly there's naething
-they woudna do for him. As ye value yir peace o' mind, Bailie, and yir
-poseetion in Muirtown, dinna quarrel wi' the Seminary. They're fine
-laddies as laddies go; but for mischief, they're juist born deevils."
-
-There is a foolish streak in every man, and the Bailie went on to his
-doom. As the authorities of the Seminary refused to do their duty--for
-which he would remember them in the Council when questions of salary and
-holidays came up--the Bailie fell back on the police, who had their own
-thoughts of his policy, but dared not argue with a magistrate; and one
-morning an able-bodied constable appeared on the scene and informed the
-amazed school that he was there to prevent them playing on the Terrace.
-No doubt he did his duty according to his light, but neither he nor six
-constables could have quelled the Seminary any more than you can hold
-quicksilver in your hand. When he walked with stately step up and down
-the broad pavement before Bulldog's windows, the Seminary went up and
-played opposite the Bailie's house, introducing his name into
-conversation, with opprobrious remarks regarding the stoutness of his
-person, and the emptiness of his head, and finally weaving the story of
-his life into a verse of poetry which was composed by Speug, but is not
-suitable for a book of family reading. If the constable, with the fear
-of the magistrate before his eyes, went up to stand as a guard of honour
-before the Bailie's house, the school went down then to the Russian guns
-and held a meeting of triumph, challenging the constable to come back to
-the Seminary, and telling him what they would do to him. They formed a
-bodyguard round him some days, keeping just out of reach, and marched
-along with him, backward and forward; other days they chaffed and teased
-him till his life was a burden to him, for he had no power to arrest
-them, and in his heart he sympathised with them. And then, at last,
-being weary of the constable, the school turned its attention to the
-Bailie.
-
-One afternoon a meeting of choice spirits was held in the North Meadow,
-beyond the supervision of the constable, and after the Bailie had been
-called every name of abuse known to the Seminary, and Speug had
-ransacked the resources of the stable yard in profanity, he declared
-that the time had now come for active operation, and that the war must
-be carried into the enemy's country. Speug declared his conviction in
-the vernacular of the school, which is here translated into respectable
-language, that the Bailie was a gentleman of doubtful birth and
-discreditable pedigree, that his conduct as a boy was beyond
-description, and that his private life was stained with every vice; that
-his intellect would give him a right to be confined in the county
-asylum, and that he had also qualified by his way of living for the
-county gaol; that he didn't wash more than once a year, and that the
-smell of him was like to that from a badger's hole; that it was a pity
-he didn't attend to his own business, and that he had very little
-business to do; that he would soon be bankrupt, and that if he wasn't
-bankrupt already it was only because he cheated with his change; that he
-sanded his sugar, and that his weights and measures were a scandal; but
-that the Seminary must do what they could to lead him to honest ways and
-teach him industry, and that he (Speug) with the aid of one or two
-friends would do his best for the reformation of Bailie MacConachie, and
-in this way return good for evil, as Mr. Byles, assistant in the
-department of mathematics, used to teach. And the school waited with
-expectation for the missionary effort upon which Speug with the
-assistance of Howieson and Bauldie, was understood to be engaged.
-
-Next Friday evening an art committee met in a stable-loft on the
-premises of Mr. McGuffie senior, and devoted their skill--which was
-greater than they ever showed in their work--to the elaboration of a
-high-class advertisement which was to be shown round a certain district
-in Muirtown, and which they hoped would stimulate the custom at Bailie
-MacConachie's shop. Howieson had provided two large boards such as might
-be hung one on the breast and one on the back of a man, and those Speug
-had cut to the proper size and pasted over with thick white paper. Upon
-them Bauldie, who had quite a talent for drawing, wrought diligently for
-a space of two hours, with the assistance and encouragement of his
-friends, and when they set the boards up against the wall the committee
-was greatly pleased. Speug read aloud the advertisement with much
-unction--
-
-
- _CHEAP TEA! CHEAP TEA! CHEAP TEA!_
-
- SALE OF BANKRUPT STOCK
- AT
- BAILIE MACCONACHIE'S
- _THE FAMOUS ITALIAN WAREHOUSEMAN_,
- 49, ST. ANDREW STREET.
-
- ELEVENPENCE-HALFPENNY PER POUND.
-
- _Sale Begins at One o'clock on Saturday._
- GLASS OF WHISKY FREE TO ALL PURCHASERS.
- _Poor People Specially Invited._
- _Be early._ _Be early._
-
- BAILIE MACCONACHIE'S
- _CHEAP TEA! CHEAP TEA! CHEAP TEA!_
-
-
-The three artists contained themselves till they came to the last "Cheap
-Tea!" then Jock knocked Bauldie down among the hay, and Speug fell on
-the top of them, and they rolled in one bundle of delight, arising from
-time to time to study the advertisement and taste its humour.
-
-"'Bankrupt stock!'" cried Bauldie, "and him an Elder of the Kirk!
-That'll learn him to be complaining of his windows."
-
-"'Poor people specially invited,' and calls himself an Italian
-warehouseman. I would give half a dozen ginger-beer to see Lady
-Kilspindie there," stammered Jock with delight.
-
-"'Glass of whisky free!'"--and Speug took a fresh turn in the hay--"it's
-against law to drink whisky in a grocer's shop--and him a magistrate!
-He'll no meddle wi' the Seminary again."
-
-"Be early!'" chanted Jock, "'be early!' My word! They'll be there, all
-the waufies of Muirtown; there'll no be room in the street. 'Glass of
-whisky free!'" and Jock wiped his eyes with his knuckles.
-
-Upon Saturday, at noon, just as the Bailie was going along the Terrace
-to his house and congratulating himself that on that day at least he was
-free from all annoyance by the way, another character of Muirtown had
-started out through a very different part of the fair city. London John
-was as well known in Muirtown as the Bailie himself, and in his way was
-quite as imposing. Tall and gaunt, without an ounce of superfluous
-flesh, and with an inscrutable countenance, dressed in a long frock-coat
-which he had worn for at least a quarter of a century, and a tall hat
-which he had rescued from an ashpit, with the remains of a pair of
-trousers, and something in the form of a shirt which was only seen when
-he laid aside the outer garment for active service, London John stalked
-with majesty through the streets of Muirtown. He earned his living as a
-sandwich man, or by carrying in coals, or by going errands, or by
-emptying ashpits. He could neither read nor write, but he remembered a
-number and never forgot what was due to him, and the solitary subject on
-which he spoke was the wonders of London, where it was supposed he had
-lost such reason as he had at once possessed. His coming was always
-welcome in the poorer parts of the town, for the sake of his discourse
-on London, but never had he received such an ovation before in the
-Vennel, which was largely inhabited by tramps and tinkers, unskilled
-labourers and casuals of all kinds. The cheap tea might not have aroused
-their enthusiasm, but at the mention of a free glass of whisky the
-deepest emotions of the Vennel were stirred.
-
-"Tea at elevenpence halfpenny," cried Tinkler Tam, who jogged round the
-country with petty wares, which he sold in exchange for rabbit-skins,
-old clothes, and other débris of a house, "and a glass of whisky free!
-Ma certes? let me get a sight o' that," and London John was brought to a
-standstill while Tam read aloud the advertisement to a crowd who could
-appreciate the cheapness of the tea, and whose tongues began to hang out
-at the very thought of the whisky.
-
-"A lee!" cried the travelling merchant, touched at the suggestion of
-such deceit. "He daurna do sic a thing, else his shop would be gutted.
-Na, na, it reads plain as a pikestaff; ye pay elevenpence halfpenny and
-ye get a pound of tea and a glass of whisky. I count it handsome o' the
-Bailie; and if they didna say he was a teetotaler! It's awfu' how a man
-is abused."
-
-"He gave me six days in the court," said Jess Mitchell, who had had a
-difference of opinion with another lady in the Vennel and received the
-Bailie's best attention from the Bench, "and if I hadna to hear him
-preach a sermon as long as my leg besides--confound him for a
-smooth-tongued, psalm-singin', bletherin' old idiot! But I bear him no
-grudge; I'll hae a taste o' that whisky, though I'm no mindin' so much
-about the tea. The sooner we're at the place the better, for I'll be
-bound there'll be more tea bought this day in Muirtown than a' the last
-year." And there was a general feeling that the Vennel had better make
-no delay, lest some other locality should obtain the first call.
-
-As London John went on his way the news spread through the back streets
-and closes, and the Bailie's generous invitation fell on responsive
-ears. And if any person was inclined to doubt there was the
-advertisement in plain terms, and over the board with its engaging news
-the austere and unmoved countenance of London John. That worthy could
-give no information about the remarkable placard, not even from whom he
-received it; but he was quite sure that he was to take it through the
-Vennel and neighbouring streets for two hours, and that he had received
-a shilling for his labour, which he proposed to spend at Bailie
-MacConachie's when his task was done. He also explained that in London,
-where he used to reside, whisky ran like water, and tea could be had for
-the asking. But his hearers had no interest that day in London.
-
-It struck the Bailie as he returned from midday dinner, and long before
-he reached St. Andrew's Street, that something was happening, and he
-wondered whether they were changing the cavalry at the barracks. People
-looked curiously at him, and having made as though they would have
-spoken, passed on, shaking their heads. When he turned into the familiar
-street, down which he was accustomed to parade with a double weight of
-dignity, an enlivening spectacle met his eyes. Every shopkeeper was out
-at his door, and would indeed have been along the street, had he not
-judged it wiser to protect his property, and the windows above the shop
-were full of faces. Opposite his own most respectable place of business
-the street was crammed from side to side with a seething mob, through
-which Mr. McGuffie senior was striving to drive a dogcart with slender
-success and complaining loudly of obstruction. Respectable working women
-were there, together with their husbands, having finished the day's
-work; country folk who dropped into town on the Saturday had been
-attracted to the scene; the riff-raff of Muirtown had come out from
-their dens and lodging-houses, together with that casual population
-which has nothing particular to do and is glad of any excitement. They
-were of various kinds and different degrees of respectability, but they
-were all collected in answer to Bailie MacConachie's generous offer;
-they were also all ready to buy the tea, and a large number of them
-particularly ready for the whisky. The first to arrive on the scene had
-been Tinkler Tam, who put down elevenpence-halfpenny in copper money
-upon the counter with a crash, and informed the Bailie's senior
-assistant that to save time he would just take the whisky while they
-were making up the tea, and was promptly ordered out of the shop for an
-impudent, drunken blackguard. Thomas, in the course of a varied life,
-was not unaccustomed to be called disrespectful names, and it was not
-the first time he had been requested to leave high class premises; but
-for once, at least, he had a perfectly good conscience and a strong
-ground of complaint.
-
-"Impident, am I, and drunken, did ye say, ye meeserable, white-faced
-effeegy of a counter-jumper? If I werena present on business I would put
-such a face on you that yir mother wouldna know you; but I'm here wi' my
-friends" (great applause from the doorway, where the crowd was listening
-to the interview) "for a commercial transaction. Div ye no ken, ye
-misshapen object, that we're here on a special invitation of yir master,
-sent this mornin' to the Vennel?" (strong confirmation given under oath
-by Jess Mitchell), "and I'll juist give you the terms thereof, ye
-two-faced, leein', unprincipled wratch" (enthusiastic support from the
-street).
-
-The ambassador of the proletariat--whose constituency filled the outer
-part of the shop, pressed their faces against the window and swayed with
-impatience across the street, and also seized a lamp-post for purposes
-of observation--rehearsed the terms of the advertisement with
-considerable accuracy and expounded them with various figures of speech,
-and then issued his ultimatum.
-
-"Ye have heard the invitation sent oot by a magistrate o' Perth, and a
-man whom I've met on public occasions" (Tarn had been prosecuted before
-the Bailie under the Game Acts): "we're here in response to a public
-advertisement in terms thereof, and my money is on the counter. I call
-these persons present to witness that I've fulfilled my side of the
-covenant, and I here and now before these witnesses demand the tea and
-the whisky as above stated" (howls from the crowd, who were greatly
-impressed by this judicial effort, and were getting every minute more
-thirsty).
-
-"It's maist extraordinary that the Bailie is no here himsel' to receive
-his friends; but what is done by the servant is done by the
-master--that's good law" (vehement support from Jess Mitchell, who at
-the smell of the shop was getting beyond control); "and I give ye two
-meenuts, my dainty young friend, and if the material be not forthcoming
-at the end of that time, the law will allow us to help ourselves, and
-gin ye offer ony resistance I'll pit ye and yir neebour inside the
-sugar-cask." And it was fortunate for every person concerned that the
-police, who had been somewhat perplexed by the circumstances, arrived at
-the scene, and turned Tinkler Tam and his friends into the street and
-themselves stood guard over the shop. It was at this point that the
-Bailie arrived and was received with frantic applause and a Babel of
-appeal.
-
-[Illustration: "BEFORE HIM STOOD LONDON JOHN BEARING THE SEDUCTIVE
-ADVERTISEMENT."]
-
-"Hurrah for the Bailie! Come awa' man, quick, else yir shop will be
-wreckit. Where ha' ye been? The folk are cryin' oot for ye. It's time ye
-started on the tea and the whisky. Make way for the Bailie. He's coming
-to start the auction. Three cheers for Bailie MacConachie!" And the
-Bailie, limp and dishevelled, amazed and furious, was hustled through
-the crowd to see the Italian warehouse guarded by the police, and the
-mob of Muirtown clamouring for tea and whisky at his hand, while face to
-face with him stood London John, who had now been produced for the
-occasion, bearing on his back and breast the seductive advertisement.
-
-"It's a brazen lie!" And the enraged Bailie lost all self-control as he
-read the legend on the board. "A low, mean, dirty trick, a deliberately
-planned fraud. It's perfectly iniquitous, in fact, juist--juist
-damnable! Bankrupt--who is bankrupt? Is't me?" And the veins on the
-Bailie's neck swelled visibly. "Tea at elevenpence-halfpenny! I never
-had such trash in my shop. Three shillings is the lowest, and I never
-recommended it. Whisky!--there is not a drop in the shop. Who dare say I
-would turn this shop into a public-house? I'll be at the bottom of this,
-though it cost me a thousand pounds. Who hired ye to carry round the
-board, ye peetiful creature? If ye don't tell the truth I'll commit ye
-to gaol this very meenute." And the Bailie turned the battery of his
-wrath upon London John, who was greatly flattered by his own prominent
-position, and not at all concerned about the Bailie's threat.
-
-"It was," replied the Mercury of the Vennel, with great composure, "a
-big, stout man like yirsel', Bailie, that gied me the boards and a
-shillin'; or, noo that I think about it, he wasna so big, he was a
-little man, and gey shilpit (thin) about the neck. Dod! I'm no very
-sure, though, but that it was a woman wi' a red face and a shepherd's
-tartan plaid; at ony rate, if it wasna her it micht be a bit lassie wi'
-bare head and feet; and I'm thinkin' noo, Bailie, it was a bit lassikie,
-for she said to me, 'Have ye ever been in London?' Noo, Bailie, I would
-like to tell you about London." And if the police had not silenced
-London John, the Bailie at that moment would have had a fit of apoplexy,
-for it was evident that the trail was blind and there was no getting to
-the real person behind London John.
-
-The crowd had listened with considerable patience and self-restraint to
-this conversation, but as soon as the hope of tea and refreshment died
-away, and they realised that some one had fooled them, they looked out
-for a victim, and settled upon the Bailie.
-
-"Ye should be ashamed of yourself," and Tinkler Tam, standing out from
-the midst of the crowd, and sitting as it were upon the bench sentenced
-the Bailie in the dock. "It's a fine business to be playing tricks on
-the poor folk o' Muirtown, wilin' them from their work to waste their
-time at your shop-door and sendin' them awa' empty-handed. If it had
-been the first o' April, and ye had been a laddie, I wouldna hev said
-much aboot it; but at your age, and you a magistrate, to play sic a
-trick, it's perfectly disgraceful. Ye ought to get a month's hard
-labour, but aye thing's sure, ye'll no long be a Bailie o' Muirtown. It
-was fearsome to hear ye askin' London John who gave him the shillin'
-when he describit ye juist as ye are standing; then the puir body, when
-ye threatened him, brought in the lassie. Man, though ye're a Bailie and
-I'm naething but Tinkler Tam, I would scorn to make use of a poor
-natural that hasna his wits, juist to feed my vanity and gither a crowd
-round my shop." Then the crowd united in three long groans, and possibly
-might have shown their indignation in a still more pronounced form, but
-the police, being still further reinforced, drove them along the
-streets, while the Bailie hid himself in the recesses of his shop.
-
-Three minutes later Speug sauntered into the shop with Howieson and
-Bauldie, and demanded a pennyworth of peppermint drops. He also remarked
-to Jock, as they were being folded up, "If there be as mony o' the
-Bailie's friends callin' at the shop on Monday, I doubt the police will
-no be able to spare a constable to keep order on the Terrace." And as a
-matter of fact the offensive patrol was withdrawn, and the Seminary
-resumed possession of the debatable ground.
-
-
-
-
-THE FALL OF GOLIATH
-
-XIII
-
-
-Bailie MacConachie made a mistake when he risked a war with the boys of
-the Seminary, and it was colossal folly on his part to continue the war
-after his first defeat in the affair of the advertisement. No doubt it
-was humiliating to have his respectable place of business filled with
-the mob of Muirtown demanding whisky as a right, and threatening him
-with penalties as a covenant-breaker when they did not get it; he had
-also very good reasons for believing that the unholy inspiration which
-gathered the vagrants to his shop came from the Seminary. His best
-policy, however, would have been to treat the matter as a joke; and if
-the Bailie had stopped on his way to dinner, and told the boys plainly
-that he knew quite well they were at the bottom of the affair, that they
-were a set of confounded young rascals, that he had intended to hang six
-of them and send the rest to penal servitude, that he was going to
-forgive them for the sake of their unhappy parents, and because it had
-not been half bad fun after all, that there would be no more policemen
-before the Seminary, and there must be no more windows smashed in his
-(the Bailie's) house--the Seminary, which always respected a fellow who
-took his licking with good humour and didn't squeal, would have given
-the Bailie the best cheer he ever got in his public career, and a
-covenant of peace would have been made between him and the boys which
-would never have been forgotten. Had another pane of glass been broken
-by a Seminary ball, the value thereof in a packet of halfpence, with an
-expression of regret, would have been handed in before evening. The
-honorary freedom of the school would have been conferred on the Bailie,
-without any public ceremony, but with immense practical advantage, and
-although the Bailie was surfeited with civic honours, yet even he might
-have tasted a new pleasure as he passed along the terrace to see the
-boys suspend a game for an instant to let him pass in stately walk, and
-to hear Speug cry, "Oot o' the Bailie's road," and to receive a salute
-from tailless Highland bonnets that were touched to none outside the
-school, except to the Count and Dr. Manley. If Providence had given a
-touch of imagination to the Bailie, and his head had not been swollen by
-a position approaching that of the angels, he would have come to terms
-at once with the boys, in which case bygones would have been bygones,
-and he would have been spared much humiliation.
-
-Unfortunately the Bailie allowed his temper to get the better of him,
-raging furiously in public places, and breathing forth threatenings
-about what he would do to the plotter, till all Muirtown, which
-otherwise might have pitied him, held its sides. He kept our single
-detective at work for a fortnight, who finally extracted from London
-John that the "boardies" containing the shameful advertisement had been
-given him by a man uncommonly like the detective himself and that the
-said "boardies" were not to be compared with those he used to carry in
-London. The detective also learned, on a somewhat risky visit to Mr.
-McGuffie's stables, that the Speug had spent the whole day of that
-historical Saturday till the hour of two--when he called for peppermints
-at the Bailie's shop--in cleaning out his rabbit-hutch and other
-domestic duties--this on the testimony of three of Mr. McGuffie's
-grooms, each of whom was willing to swear the same anywhere, or fight
-the detective, with gloves or without gloves, in the stable-yard or any
-other place which might be agreed upon. The Bailie also, going from bad
-to worse, offered a reward of £5 for any information which would lead to
-the conviction of the offender, and received thirty letters--so many
-anonymous, attacking his character, public and private, and so many
-signed, from various cranks in Muirtown, in which the crime was
-assigned to Irish Roman Catholics, to the Publicans, to the
-Morisonians, and to a tribe of gypsies camped outside the city. They
-were all annoying, but there were two which cut the Bailie to the quick.
-One was written from the security of Glasgow, in which the writer
-promised, on receipt of the reward, to send a full account of the
-conspiracy, and, having got the money, replied briefly that he left the
-matter to the Bailie's own conscience; and the second, which asked for
-no reward except the writer's sense of having done his duty, and which
-hinted that if the Bailie put the question straight to his senior
-assistant, he might find he had been nourishing a viper in his bosom,
-and that a young man with such a smug appearance could be little else
-than a rascal. This letter, which was written in a schoolboy hand, and
-had five words misspelt, was signed, "An Elder of the Free Kirk." None
-of the letters seemed to help the matter forward, and life at the
-Bailie's residence was very troubled during those weeks.
-
-When news of the Bailie's vindictive spirit spread through the Seminary,
-the boys were much pained, for it was sad to see an old man forgetting
-himself and harbouring a spirit of revenge. It seemed, indeed, as if all
-they had done for the Bailie was simply love's labour lost, and that
-they must begin again to bring him to a proper state of mind. The
-Seminary loved peace and hated war, being a body of quiet,
-well-behaved, hard-working lads. Still, if war was forced upon them, and
-detectives set upon their track, it was a duty to themselves and their
-families to meet the situation bravely. Nothing could have been more
-successful than the last campaign; and, although Speug had never
-boasted, and none dared say that he had anything to do with it, there
-was a feeling in the Seminary that the conduct of the next campaign was
-safe in his hands. As it turned out, it was certainly safe, and one
-ought not to detract from genius, but there can be no doubt that Fortune
-played into the hands of Speug.
-
-Much may be allowed to a broad sense of humour, and the walk of the
-Bailie was marvellous to behold; but it was rather poor business for
-Speug to walk half the length of the Terrace a yard behind the Bailie in
-an exact imitation of the magistrate's manner, although the school was
-hugely delighted. If the Bailie had taken no notice, the score had been
-on his side; but when he turned round and gave Speug a sound box on the
-side of the head, he lost himself, and out of that single mistake, by a
-chain of consequences, arose the scandal which almost drove the Bailie
-from Muirtown. Speug could not have hoped for anything so good as that
-foolish blow, and the moment that it came he saw his opportunity. Many a
-stroke had he endured in his day, from his father and from the grooms,
-when his mischief was beyond endurance, and from Bulldog when he caught
-him red-handed, and from the boys in a fight, and there was no one of
-his age so indifferent to such afflictions. Had the hand been any other
-than that of Bailie MacConachie, Speug would have made derisive gestures
-and invited the second stroke. As it was, he staggered across the
-pavement and fell with a heavy thud upon the street, where, after one
-sharp, piercing cry of pain, he lay motionless, but his moans could be
-heard along the Terrace. His one hope was that, when he had seized the
-occasion with such dramatic success, the Seminary would not fail to play
-up and support his _rôle_, and, although they were cleverer at reality
-than acting they entered heartily into their opportunity.
-
-"Are ye conscious, Peter?" inquired Howieson tenderly, as he stooped
-over the prostrate figure. "Div ye hear us speakin' to ye? Dinna moan
-like that, but tell us where ye're hurt. What are ye gatherin' round
-like that for an keepin' away the air? Hold up his head, Bauldie? Some
-o' ye lift his feet out o' the gutter? Run to the lade, for ony's sake,
-and bring some water in yir bonnets."
-
-It was pretty to see Jock and Bauldie lifting the unconscious form of
-their beloved friend, and carrying him carefully across the pavement,
-and placing Speug in a sitting position against the railing, and then
-rendering what would now be called first aid to the wounded, while that
-ingenuous youth kept his eyes tightly closed and moaned occasionally, to
-show that he was still living. Never in his life had Providence given
-him a chance of playing so much mischief, and he was not going to be
-disobedient. They opened his shirt at the breast to give him air, they
-anxiously searched the side of his head for the wound, and washed away
-imaginary blood with very dirty pocket-handkerchiefs. They bathed his
-forehead with such profuseness that the water ran down his chest,
-whereat Speug expressed himself in low but stern tones, so Nestie
-advised them to stick to his head; and some of the smaller boys were
-only prevented from taking off his boots by a seasonable warning from
-Bauldie and a reasonable fear of consequences. The Seminary circle was
-reinforced by all the message-boys within sight, and several ladies who
-were coming home from the shops. Two maiden ladies, against whose
-railings Peter had been propped in the hour of his distress, came
-out--their hearts full of compassion and their hands of remedies. As
-Jock and Bauldie did not consider it safe that Peter should be moved at
-once, one maiden lady placed a cushion between his head and the
-railings, while the other chafed his forehead with scent, and both
-insisted that Dr. Manley should be sent for at once. This was the first
-suggestion which seemed to have any effect on Peter, for it would not at
-all have suited his plans that that matter-of-fact physician should
-have arrived on the spot. And when a bottle of ferocious smelling-salts
-was held to the patient's nose, Speug showed signs of returning
-consciousness.
-
-"Poor dear!" said one lady; "what a mercy he wasn't killed. A blow
-behind the ear is often fatal. He's coming round nicely. The colour is
-returning to his cheeks. Bailie MacConachie, did you say?" as Jock
-Howieson unfolded to the ladies in simple, straightforward, truthful
-words the story of the murderous attack. "I can't believe that any man
-would so abuse a poor helpless child." (At this moment Peter, who had
-been reconnoitring the whole scene through his half-closed eyes, seized
-the opportunity to wink to the mourners with such irresistible effect as
-to prove once again the close connection between tears and laughter.)
-"And him a magistrate," concluded the sympathetic female. "He ought to
-be ashamed of himself; but if I were the laddie's friends, I would make
-the Bailie hear about it on the deaf side of his head."
-
-[Illustration: "A BOTTLE OF FEROCIOUS SMELLING-SALTS WAS HELD TO THE
-PATIENT'S NOSE."]
-
-Upon a sign from Speug, who was getting a little weary of inaction, he
-was helped to his feet, and after one or two staggers seemed to come to
-himself, and submitted with agreeable humour to the attention of his
-friends, who dusted him from head to foot, under the superintendence of
-the ladies and to the huge delight of the message-boys, who were now
-entering into the meaning of the scene. His bonnet, which had been
-thoughtfully used as a water-can, was placed wrong end foremost upon his
-head, but Peter resisted the proposal to tie up his head in Bauldie's
-handkerchief, partly because there was a limit even to his endurance,
-and because Bauldie's handkerchief served many a purpose in the course
-of the day. The maiden ladies were anxious that he should rest in their
-house, but Speug indicated that he preferred to be taken home, where he
-could break the news himself to his anxious father. And so an impressive
-procession was formed, with so many boys in front to clear the way, and
-then Speug, upheld on the one hand by Nestie, and on the other by Jock,
-while Bauldie commanded the rearguard and kept the message-boys at a
-distance, in order to secure due respect for the sufferer. It was with
-difficulty that Speug could sustain his _rôle_ until he and his friends
-got safely within the shelter of the stable-yard, when they plunged into
-a straw-shed and rolled together in one heap of triumphant mischief.
-
-"You're a g-genius, Peter," said Nestie, "and it would be pure waste for
-you to be a h-horsedealer. You must go on the st-stage. The way you came
-whack on the pavement was j-just immense; and do you know, Peter, you
-looked quite nice when you lay f-fainting. One lady called you a pretty
-boy, and I was quite sorry you were unconscious."
-
-"Ye're a disgustin' liar, Nestie, besides being an impident young brat.
-I heard every word, and she never said 'pretty'; but," and Speug looked
-round thoughtfully, "if I knew which o' ye emptied the water down my
-breast, I'd give him something to remember. I'm wet to the skin," and
-Speug made a drive at Bauldie, who caught Howieson by the leg, who
-pulled down Nestie by the hair of the head, and they all fought together
-in high glee. Speug extricated himself and demanded news of the Bailie.
-Then the three told Speug the story together in bits, one beginning
-where another left off.
-
-"He was that astonished when ye coupit over that he couldna speak, and
-Jock cried, 'The Bailie has killed Speug.'" "He was wantin' to lift ye
-up, but Bauldie gets in afore him and dares him to strike ye a second
-time." "It would have done you good, Peter, to see the Bailie walking
-along to his house, just like an ordinary man, all the s-starch out of
-him, and taking a look back to see what was h-happening." "Aye, and he
-stoppit opposite the lade to get another look, and if Cosh didna empty a
-cupful of water on his legs by mistake! I didna think Cosh had the
-spirit." "He was ashamed to stand at the w-window, but I saw him
-p-peeping out behind the curtains, just to find out whether you were
-living." "If his servant lass didna follow us across the meadow, and, my
-word, she's back to the Bailie with a fine story." "He's sweatin' the
-now for fear he be taken up for assault, and maybe manslaughter." "What
-w-would you say, Peter, just to die altogether, and we would gi-give you
-an A1 funeral? If you'll just be g-good-natured and do it, I'll write
-your l-life myself. It's perfectly sc-scrummageous." And then Peter fell
-on Nestie, and Howieson on Bauldie, and they rejoiced together once more
-in the straw.
-
-"You're 'avin' an 'igh 'ole time in 'ere, young gentlemen," and Mr.
-McGuffie's English groom looked down on the boys; "but you're missin'
-the Derby, that's what you are. Hold Pompous has come 'isself, and if he
-ain't been hexplainin' to the master 'ow he 'appened to knock Speug
-down. He's out o' breath now, and the master he's took up the runnin',
-and--my eye and Betty Martin--ain't he talkin'! Not cussin'--no, not one
-swear word has he let go. Young gentlemen, upon my Alfred David, if the
-master ain't preachin' for all the world as if he was a blessed beak on
-the Bench and old Pompous was a 'habit and repute.' It's as good as a
-circus; you just go and 'ear 'im," and in exactly one and a quarter
-seconds the boys were an unseen audience when Mr. Peter McGuffie senior
-gave his opinion of the conduct of Bailie MacConachie, which he had been
-doing already for some time with much effect.
-
-"Imitatin' ye, was he, and followin' ye along the street, walkin' as ye
-walk, and so ye knocked him down in open day? Why should he not be doing
-as ye did? Is yir walk protected by law, that nobody dare step the same
-way on the streets of Muirtown? Answer me that, if ye please. Bailies
-are pretty high and mighty in this town, they are; but I never heard yet
-that the street belonged to them, and that a laddie was in danger of
-death if he followed in their steps. That would be a fine pass. Aren't
-boys always imitatin' somebody? Why, you stupid old fool, half the
-laddies in this district try to imitate me; and, as sure as ye're
-standing there, I've seen half a dozen of them, each one with a straw in
-his mouth, and the bit legs of him straddled, and his bonnet on the side
-of his head, and the belly of him stuck out like a pillow, just the
-eemage of myself. What would ye think of me if I knockit one of them
-down, ye double-distilled old fool?
-
-"I'm astonished at ye, for ye might be pleased to think that the
-laddies, instead of copying a horsedealer, are trying to be magistrates.
-Didna the Provost tell the laddies the last time he gave the prizes to
-'take notice of my freend Bailie MacConachie, and try to be like him?'
-And now, when one of them has taken his advice, if ye dinna turn round
-on the street and half kill him, till he had to be brought home half
-faintin' to his father's house! Fine-like conduct for a magistrate! Ye
-bloodthirsty old ruffian!
-
-"Came to make inquiries, did ye? Ye made enough inquiries, by all
-accounts, on the Terrace. Expression of regret, was it? We don't want
-yir regret, ye hypocritical Pharisee! Present of a top? I wonder ye have
-the face! Ye break a laddie's head and then offer him a top! I can buy
-tops myself for my family. Confound ye! to think ye're standing there
-after manglin' a poor, defenceless, harmless, motherless laddie! Ye
-should be ashamed to show yir face in Muirtown; and if there was any
-public spirit in this town, ye would be drummed out o' the place!
-
-"Look ye here, Bailie MacConachie"--and Mr. McGuffie adopted a
-conciliatory tone--"the best of us will make mistakes, and ye've made a
-particularly big one when ye knockit down Peter McGuffie in the face of
-the public of Muirtown. Ye may bet on that and take my tip for it. Let's
-settle this matter fair and sure as between man and man. Ye say ye're
-sorry, and ye don't want any noise made about it. Well, now, I've lived
-here man and boy for fifty years, and any man in Muirtown will tell you
-I'm straight. If I give a warranty with any horse, ye needn't be afraid
-to buy that horse, and I'll deal with ye on the square.
-
-"Ye and me are about an age of and on, and we ought to be pretty even
-as fighting men. Ye have the pull of me in height, but I would say that
-I am nimbler on my legs. Ye might be called a heavy weight, and I am a
-middle weight, but there isn't much in that. We could meet pretty level
-with the gloves.
-
-"Suppose, now, we just went into the straw-shed here, and stripped and
-fought the matter of six rounds, easy and quiet? There would be no
-mischief done, and no bad blood left, and that would be the end of the
-matter.
-
-"Magistrate, did ye say, and elder in the Kirk. What do ye take me for?
-Do ye mean to say I'd split on ye, and go round Muirtown saying that
-Bailie MacConachie and me had a friendly turn with the gloves! Ye don't
-do me justice. Why, there's nobody outside this stable-yard would ever
-hear tell of it; and if they did, they would respect ye, and count ye an
-able-bodied man, which is more than a Bailie any day. Is it a deal,
-Bailie? Ye won't, won't ye, and I ought to be ashamed of myself, ought
-I? And a prizefight would be a disgrace to Muirtown, would it? Muirtown
-is pretty easy disgraced, then. Who's speaking about a prizefight, ye
-haverin' old body? But I see how the wind blows. If the other man stands
-a bare five feet, and ye can get at him before he's ready, ye're mighty
-handy with yir fists. Ye cowardly old sneak? But when ye're offered the
-chance of facing a man about yir own size, ye count it a disgrace. My
-opinion is, ye havna the spirit of a mouse in yir body! I'm ashamed to
-think ye're a magistrate of Muirtown! Dinna speak to me, MacConachie,
-for I might lose control and send ye out of the stable-yard, with my
-foot followin'! My advice is to be off as quick as ye can, for if some
-of the grooms got hold of ye they would make an awful mess of
-ye--they're not just particularly fond of magistrates, and they've a
-great notion of Peter.
-
-"One word before we part, Bailie," and the Bailie took that word
-walking, "So far as I understand, ye might be arrested for assault, and
-I might prosecute ye for damages; but I will let ye off just this once
-with a word of solemn advice. Ye're a Bailie of Muirtown, and ye're an
-elder in the Kirk, and ye're an Italian warehouse-man; but for all that,
-MacConachie, remember ye're just a man. Ye're swollen up and fozzy with
-pride and vanity, and ye pace down the streets like an elephant let
-loose from a menagerie; but, MacConachie, consider ye're just a man.
-Ye're wily and cunning and pawky and long-headed, and ye're got yir own
-way in this town for many a year; but lay it to heart, ye're just a man.
-Ye've sat on the Bench and laid down the law, and when ye wagged yir
-head everybody kept quiet, and when ye've scrapit yir throat they
-thought it was Gospel; but, MacConachie, dinna forget it, ye're just a
-man. Ye needna hurry," and Mr. McGuffie, standing in the gateway of the
-stable-yard, pursued the Bailie along the street with exhortations.
-"I've said all I wanted to say, and I've just one word more. Ye've
-fought with the Tories and ye've fought with the Publicans, ye've fought
-with this body and with that body, and ye've beaten them, and ye thought
-ye were cock of the roost in Muirtown; but ye meddled with the laddies,
-and they've licket ye once, Bailie, and they've licket ye twice, Bailie,
-and if ye dinna cry 'Peace,' they'll lick ye again, and that'll be the
-end of ye, Bailie MacConachie."
-
-When Mr. McGuffie returned to the stable-yard he called for his son, and
-passed a careful hand over Peter's head, and then he declared that Speug
-was a chip of the old block and prophesied aloud that there lay before
-him a long and useful life.
-
-
-
-
-THE BAILIE'S DOUBLE
-
-XIV
-
-
-Muirtown is not a large city, and schoolboys of high principle and
-domestic habits used to go home in the dinner-hour and take the meal
-with their anxious mothers, who seized the opportunity of repairing the
-rents made in their clothes since morning, and giving them good advice
-on their behaviour. Thoroughly good boys, who had been tossed to and
-fro, much against their will, in the tempest of morning play, were glad
-to go into harbour and come back at two o'clock, not only revictualled,
-but also re-fitted and re-painted for the troubled voyage of the
-afternoon; and boys not so entirely good as the Dowbiggins, and other
-models of propriety, still appreciated the home trip, because, although
-there might be an embarrassing review of garments, and awkward questions
-might be asked about a mark on the face, there was always a toothsome
-dainty for a growing laddie, weary with intellectual work and the toils
-of a snow-fight. As the business of a horsedealer took Mr. McGuffie
-senior in various directions, and as in no case were the arrangements of
-his house since Mrs. McGuffie's death of an extremely regular character,
-there was no meal to which his promising son--Speug--could return with
-any confidence; and therefore Peter did not make a practice of going
-home at one o'clock, unless there was a special event at the stables,
-such as the arrival of a new horse, in which case he invited a few
-friends to an inspection, with light refreshments; or unless, having
-racked his brain to the utmost for four hours, he was still in sheer
-despair of mischief. With one or two other young friends of a like mind,
-he was accustomed to spend the dinner-hour in what might be called
-extramural studies--rowing over to the island below the bridge against
-the tide and coming back gloriously with the current; assisting the
-salmon-fishers to draw their nets and gather the silver spoil; in the
-happy snow-time raiding the playground of a rival school when the boys
-were away, and leaving insulting remarks wrought in snow; or attending
-the drill of the cavalry on the South Meadow. Like other guerillas, he
-carried his biltong and mealies with him, and took his meal anywhere and
-by preference when on the run. Perhaps that was one reason why Speug in
-after years made one of the best of South African fighters.
-
-When Speug was disinclined for active occupation, and desired to
-improve his mind by contact with the greater world, he took a cab, or
-hotel 'bus (the box-seat of every one in Muirtown was at Speug's
-disposal, and his edifying conversation was much enjoyed by the driver),
-and went to spend his hour at Muirtown Station, which, as everybody
-knows, is at the shooting season a spectacle to be classed with Niagara
-or the Jungfrau for interest, and at any time is worth seeing. It
-pleased Speug, whose interests were varied and human rather than
-classical and literary, to receive the English express, or even one from
-Edinburgh, as it swept into the station; or to see the Aberdeen fast
-train fairly off; to watch a horse safely entrained, and if necessary to
-give understanding assistance; and to pass the time of day with the
-guards, ticket-collectors, and carriage-cleaners, the last of whom would
-allow him as a favour to see the inside of the huge mail-carriage, with
-its pigeon-holes and its ingenious apparatus for delivering letters at
-roadside stations while the train passed at full speed. It was an hour
-of what might be called irregular study, but one never knows what he may
-pick up if he only keeps his eyes open (and the eyes of Speug were as
-open as a savage's), and it was on a visit to Muirtown railway station
-that Peter found the opportunity for what he ever considered his most
-successful achievement at the Seminary, and one on which the
-recollection of his companions still fondly dwells.
-
-When a cab passed the _Muirtown Arms_ 'bus at the entrance to the
-station, and the cabman signalled to Peter on the box-seat, and referred
-to the contents with an excited thumb and great joy on his face, Peter
-knew that there would be something worth seeing when the cab emptied at
-the ticket-office; but he could not have imagined anything so entirely
-satisfying. First, Bailie MacConachie emerged, dressed in the famous
-frock-coat and grey trousers, in the high collar and magisterial stock,
-but without his usual calm and dignity. His coat was only half buttoned,
-his tie was slightly awry, and although his hat had been distinctly
-tilted to the side on getting out of the cab, he was too much occupied
-to set it right. Instead of clearing his throat as he alighted among the
-waiting porters, and giving them, as it were, the chance of honouring a
-live Bailie going forth upon his journey, he did not seem to wish for
-any public reception, or, indeed, for any spectators, and in fact had
-every sign of a man who desired to be _incognito_.
-
-"No, no, I've no luggage to-day," the Bailie hastily explained to an
-obliging porter, and he stood between the man and the cab so as to block
-all vision. "Just running down to Dundee on business and ... seeing a
-friend off."
-
-As the embarrassed magistrate endeavoured to disperse the porters, the
-driver, leaning over the roof of the cab, winked with much unction to
-Peter, and indicated to that ingenuous youth that it would be worth
-while for him to wait and see the mysterious friend. Speug, in fact,
-understood from all this telegraphic communication that there were going
-to be circumstances of a quite remarkable character, and in which
-he--Peter McGuffie--was expected to be personally interested. He dragged
-Jock Howieson, who was spending the hour with him, behind a pile of
-luggage, and from their hiding-place they saw, to their utter amazement,
-a second Bailie come slowly and gingerly, but yet withal triumphantly,
-out of the cab. The same height as the great man himself, and built
-after the same pattern; a perfect reproduction also in dress, except
-that the trousers were baggier, and the coat shabbier, and the collar
-frayed at the edges, and the hat had the appearance of having been used
-either as a seat or as a pillow, or perhaps for both purposes, at
-different times; and the air of this second, but by no means ghostly,
-Bailie was like that of the first, as confident, as mighty, as knowing,
-with the addition of a certain joviality of expression and benignant
-humanity, and a certain indifference to all the trials and difficulties
-of life which is characteristic of a man who has been "tasting," not
-wisely, but too well.
-
-"Lean on me, James," said the Bailie, nervously, as the figure came with
-a heavy lurch on the pavement. "The faintness may pass off. Take care
-of your feet," and the Bailie shouldered his double to the ticket-office
-and propped it against the wall while he went to take the tickets.
-
-It might have been ill, and the remarkable walk might have been due to
-weakness of the heart, for you never can tell, and one ought to be
-charitable; but there was no sign of an invalid about this new Bailie,
-nor was he at all too exhausted for genial conversation. He explained
-during the other Bailie's brief absence, to all who were willing to
-listen, in a style that was rather suggestive than exhaustive, that he
-had been paying a visit to Muirtown for the good of his health, and that
-he felt better--in fact, very much better; that where he lived the
-supply of liquid refreshment was limited, and that in consequence he had
-suffered through weakness of the heart; that he had intended to stay
-longer in a place where there was every comfort of life, and that
-nothing would have induced him to leave but the immoral conduct of his
-twin brother; that Bailie MacConachie, he was sorry to say, being his
-brother, was fearfully given to drink, and that he, James MacConachie,
-could no longer stay with him; that he, his brother, was not fit to be a
-Bailie, and that he was a hypocrite whose judgment would not tarry, and
-indeed, according to his language, was already pronounced. He also gave
-a certificate of character to the refreshment to be obtained at the
-_Black Bull_, Muirtown, and cheerfully invited any person who had a
-friendly heart to go with him there and then to drink the Queen's
-health. On seeing his brother returning, the figure concluded his
-address--which had been mightily enjoyed by three porters, a couple of
-Highland drovers, a Perth loafer, who had once passed through the
-police-court when the Bailie was on the Bench, and an elderly lady, who
-was anxious that a doctor should be sent for--by explaining once more
-that his brother was a gentleman beside whom the Pharisees were
-straightforward and honourable members of society.
-
-As the procession was again re-formed, and the two Bailies left the
-ticket-office together, one of them waving a regretful farewell to his
-sympathetic congregation, the boys executed a war-dance of triumph; for
-the contrast between the twin brethren afforded just that kind of comedy
-which appeals to a boy's heart, and because they had an instinct that
-the incident would be of service in the war between the Bailie and the
-Seminary, which had gone on for a year and showed no signs of closing.
-
-"The Bailie keeps him oot o' sight somewhere in the country, I'll
-warrant," said Speug to Jock, in great spirits, "and there's naebody in
-Muirtown kens he's got a twin brother. Dod, Jock, he's juist the very
-eemage of him, and he's got a suit o' his auld clothes on. It would
-take Dr. Manley himself or the Chief Constable to tell the one from the
-ither. Jock Howieson, if you and me could get the use o' that lad, we
-would have a michty time. I would give my four rabbits and ... and my
-skye terrier pup just for an hour of him." And although they had no hope
-that circumstances would deal so kindly with them, yet they went on to
-the platform to see the last of the two Bailies.
-
-Under the influence of the senior Bailie's chastening conversation, who
-at first reminded his brother of a drunkard's end, which had no effect,
-and then threatened to cut off his modest weekly allowance, which had an
-immediate effect, the figure consented to be taken along the platform,
-and might even have been safely deposited in its carriage, had not the
-word "Refreshment-room," printed in absurdly large type, attracted his
-attention.
-
-"Div ye see that, man?" said the figure, pointing jubilantly to the
-board. "I declare it juist a Providence. It's no that I'm thirsty,
-Bailie, and I canna bear drinkin'; that's never been a fault o' mine,
-though I doubt ye're fallin' into the habit yirsel'. No, I'm no thirsty,
-but I've a sinkin' at the heart. Ye'll come in, and we'll taste together
-afore we part. I forgive ye onything ye said. I bear no grudge, and I'll
-let ye pay, Bailie." And the figure had the Bailie almost at the door of
-the refreshment-room before he could make a stand.
-
-"Mair than I can carry already, Bailie, did ye say? Gude forgie ye. I
-wonder ye're not black ashamed to say sic a word, and me draggin' ye
-along the platform and holdin' ye up, juist to cover yir character.
-Well, well, I canna fecht wi' ye, for I'm no the man I was once. The
-fact is, I havna strength to go another step, and if ye'll no let me get
-a cordial, I'll juist have to sit down on the platform." And the
-horrified Bailie had to accept the assistance of a porter to support his
-exhausted brother and to guide him to his carriage.
-
-From an adjacent third class compartment, where Speug and Jock promptly
-secreted themselves, they heard the senior Bailie's exhortation to his
-frail kinsman--that he must on no account come out of the carriage; that
-he must hold his tongue and not talk nonsense to his fellow travellers;
-that he must not mention his--the Bailie's--name, nor claim to be
-connected with him; and that he must not come back to Muirtown again
-until the Bailie sent for him; and all this he must lay to heart as he
-valued his weekly allowance. The Bailie also expressed his deep regret,
-which, indeed, seemed to be very sincere, that he had to leave by the
-Dundee train before the departure of the slow Fife train by which his
-double travelled. And when this fact emerged--that the other Bailie was
-to be left even for five minutes at their disposal--Speug threw
-Howieson's bonnet to the end of the compartment, with his own following
-in a rapture of joy.
-
-"Dinna be afraid," said the figure in the compartment to the Bailie on
-the platform, who was torn between his profitable business engagement at
-Dundee and the fear of leaving his brother to his own devices. "After
-the way ye've treated me and put me to shame afore the platform, I
-wouldna stay another day in Muirtown for a thousand pounds. I am no
-angry, Bailie," the figure continued with mournful dignity, "for that's
-no my speerit, but I'm hurt at yir conduct. Weel, if ye maun go, ye
-maun, and I heard the Dundee engine whistlin'; but for ony sake dinna be
-tastin' in Dundee and disgracin' the family. Drink is an awfu' failin',
-but ye canna say I havna warned ye." And as the Bailie hurried to catch
-the Dundee train the figure shook its head mournfully, with the air of
-one who hopes for the best, but who has had too good reason to expect
-the worst.
-
-"Bailie," said Speug, presenting himself with a fine mixture of haste
-and importance before the figure which was still moralising to itself on
-the evils of drink, "div ye no mind that the Rector o' the Seminary is
-expectin' ye to address the laddies this afternoon, and they'll be
-waitin' this very meenut in the Latin class-room?" and Speug made signs
-that he should come at once, and offered to secure a cab. The figure
-could only shake its head and explain that on account of the
-disgraceful conduct of a relative, who had given way to drink, it had no
-heart for public appearances; but the idea of a return to the enjoyment
-of Muirtown was evidently filtering in.
-
-"Are ye no Bailie MacConachie?" demanded Speug. "A porter threipit
-(insisted) that he had seen the Bailie in the Dundee train, but naebody
-can mistake Bailie MacConachie. The school will be terrible pleased to
-see ye, Bailie."
-
-"Who said I wasna Bailie MacConachie?" and the figure was plainly
-roused. "Him in the Dundee train? Laddies, there's a black sheep in
-every family, and that man is a poor, helpless brother o' mine that's
-taken to bad habits, and I've juist to support him and keep him oot o'
-sicht. It's an awfu' trial," and the figure wept, but immediately
-brisked itself up again. "Of course I'm Bailie MacConachie. Laddies,
-was't at the _Black Bull_ they're expectin' me?"
-
-"The very place, Bailie; but ye maun say juist a word at the Seminary in
-passin'," and Speug signalled to a ticket-collector who had just come
-upon the scene.
-
-"Would ye mind helpin' Bailie MacConachie oot o' the carriage, for he's
-forgotten an engagement at the Seminary, and he's juist a wee thingie
-faint with the heat?"
-
-"It's no the heat, man," as the amazed collector helped the magistrate
-on to the platform, "it's family trouble. Are ye connected with the
-_Black Bull_? Well, at any rate, ye seem a well-behaved young man, and
-these are twa fine laddies." And outside the station, surrounded by a
-sympathising circle of drivers, who were entering into the spirit of
-Speug's campaign, this astonishing Bailie warned every one to beware of
-strong drink, and urged them to take the pledge without delay. He also
-inquired anxiously whether there was a cab there from the _Black Bull_
-and explained that the Rector of the Seminary, with his laddies, was
-waiting for him in that place of hospitality. He added that he had been
-on his way to the General Assembly of the Kirk, where he sat as a ruling
-elder, and he warmly denounced the spread of false doctrine. But at last
-they got him into the cab, where, after a pathetic appeal to Speug and
-his companion to learn the Catechism and sing the Psalms of David, he
-fell fast asleep.
-
-By a happy stroke of strategy, Howieson engaged the attention of the
-sergeant in the back-yard, who considered that Jock was playing truant
-and was anxious to arrest him, while the cabman, fortunately an
-able-bodied fellow, with Speug's assistance induced the Bailie to leave
-the cab and convoyed him upstairs and to the door of the Rector's
-class-room. At this point the great man fell into low spirits, and
-bemoaned the failure of a strenuous life, in which he had vainly fought
-the immorality of Muirtown, and declared, unless he obtained an
-immediate tonic, he would succumb to a broken heart. He also charged
-Speug with treachery in having brought him to the County Gaol instead of
-to the _Black Bull_. It was painfully explained him that he was now in
-the Seminary, and within that door an anxious school was waiting for
-him--Bailie MacConachie--and his address.
-
-"Who said I wasna Bailie MacConachie, and that I was a drunken body?
-I'll teach them to smuggle me oot o' Muirtown as if I was a waufie
-(disreputable character). He thinks I'm at Leuchars, but I'm here" (with
-much triumph), "and I'm Bailie MacConachie" (with much dignity). And the
-Bailie was evidently full awake.
-
-"Losh keeps, laddies, what am I saying? Family troubles shakes the mind.
-Take the pledge when ye're young, laddie, and ye'll no regret it when
-ye're old. I've been an abstainer since the age of ten. Noo, laddie"
-(with much cunning), "If I am to address the school, what think ye would
-be a fine subject, apairt from the Catechism? for it's a responsibility,
-especially me being a Bailie. If ye can mind onything, laddie, I'll give
-ye sixpence next time we meet."
-
-Although Speug was reticent in the class, for reasons that commended
-themselves to his practical judgment, he had a rich wealth of speech
-upon occasion, and he fairly drilled into the head of Bailie
-MacConachie's double that it had been a very foolish thing for him--the
-Bailie--to quarrel with the Seminary about their playground upon the
-Meadow, and an act of an unchristian bitterness to strike him--the
-Speug--upon the head and nearly injure him for life, but that he--the
-Bailie--was sorry for all his bad conduct, and that he would never do
-the like again as long as he was Bailie of Muirtown; and Speug
-concluded, while the cabman stood open-mouthed with admiration, "Ye
-micht juist say that ye have an awfu' respect for me--Speug--ye know."
-
-"I'll be sure to do that," said the delighted Bailie, "for it's a fact.
-Ye're a fine laddie and have a fearsome power o' the gab (mouth); I
-expect to see ye in the pulpit yet; but keeps a' it's time I was at the
-_Black Bull_, so ye micht juist slip in and tell the Rector I'm at the
-door--Bailie MacConachie of Muirtown."
-
-Had it been the class-room of Bulldog, master of mathematics,
-arithmetic, and writing, and, it might also be added, master of
-discipline, Speug would as soon have ventured into his presence on such
-an errand as into the lion's den of the travelling menagerie which had
-recently visited Muirtown, and at which he had spent many an unlicensed
-hour. But the Rector was that dear delight of boys, a short-sighted,
-absent-minded, unsuspicious scholar, who lived in a world of his own
-with Homer and Horace, and could only be fairly roused (to sorrow) by a
-false quantity or (to joy) by a happy translation.
-
-Muirtown Seminary had an inexhaustible confidence in Speug's genius for
-mischief and effrontery of manner, but the Rector's class sat breathless
-when Peter came in with an unshaken countenance, and politely intimated
-to the Rector that a magistrate of Muirtown had come and desired to
-speak to the school. Before the Rector could fairly withdraw himself
-from a cunning phrase of Horace's, or the school had energy to cheer,
-the wonderful Bailie was launched into the room with almost too much
-vigour by the cabman, who remained in the shadow and whispered a last
-direction to "hold up your head and keep to the right." They had
-forgotten--Speug's only oversight--to take off the Bailie's hat, which
-was set jauntily on the side of his head, and the course which he took
-through the room was devious, and mainly regulated by the furniture,
-while his expression was a fine blend of affable dignity and genial good
-humour. "Gosh!" exclaimed Bauldie, and he liberated the feeling of the
-class, who understood that their enemy had been delivered into their
-hands, and that Peter McGuffie--their own Speug--had been the means
-thereof. Yet could it be the case? Yes! It was the very countenance,
-line by line, and the very clothes, piece by piece, though looking a
-trifle shabby, of the premier Bailie of Muirtown, and it was evident
-that he had been "tasting," and that very freely.
-
-"I am--er--proud to bid you welcome, Mr. Bailie," said the Rector,
-bowing with old-fashioned courtesy, and not having the faintest idea
-what like was the figure before him. "We are always delighted to receive
-a visit from any of the magistrates of the city, who are to our humble
-school" (and here the Rector was very gracious) "what Maecenas was to
-Horace, whose _curiosa felicitas_ we are now studying. Is it your
-pleasure, Mr. Bailie, to examine the school?"
-
-During this stately reception the Bailie came to rest upon a desk, and
-regarded the Rector's flowing gown with unconcealed admiration, which he
-indicated to the school by frank gestures.
-
-"It would be a great satisfaction to hear the laddies answer 'The Chief
-End of Man,' and to say juist a word to them aboot good conduct; but you
-and me has an engagement, and ye ken where we're expected. I juist
-looked in to say----" And here the worthy man's thoughts began to
-wander, and he made an indistinct allusion to the _Black Bull_, so that
-Speug had to prompt him severely from behind. "Aye, aye! we're all poor,
-frail creatures, and I'm the last man to hurt the feelings of the
-Seminary. Seminary laddie mysel', prize medal Greek. Bygones be
-bygones!... No man in Muirtown I respect more than ... Speug an
-honourable tradesman" (breaking away on his own account with much
-spirit), "a faithful husband, and an affectionate father. What? All a
-mistake from beginning to end. Family trouble did it--conduct of a
-relative," and the Bailie wept. Bailies and other municipal dignitaries
-were a species of human beings so strange and incalculable to the
-Rector, that he was hardly amazed at anything that they might say; and
-having some vague idea that there had been a quarrel between the
-Seminary and some Bailie or other, about something or other, some time
-or other, he concluded that this was an official intimation that the
-quarrel was over, and that it was in style and allusion according to the
-habits of municipal circles.
-
-"It is," he responded, bowing again, "my grateful duty, as Rector of the
-Seminary, to thank you for your presence here to-day--the Mercury of the
-gods, if I may say so--and for your courteous intimation that
-the--er--controversy to which you--er--have delicately alluded is
-healed. Any dispute between the Council and the Seminary could only have
-a favourable issue. _Amantium irae amoris integratio_ has had another
-illustration, Mr. Bailie; but it would please us that you should hear
-the class translate the Ode we have in hand, which happens to be '_Ad
-Sodales_.'" And a boy began to translate "_Nunc est bibendum_."
-
-"Time to drink, did ye say?" and the Bailie, who had been taking a brief
-nap, was immediately conscious. "Man, ye never said a truer word. Work
-hard at yir lessons, laddies, and for ony sake dinna forget the
-Catechism. Yir maister has an engagement wi' me, and he'll no be back
-for an hour. Come awa,' man" (in a loud whisper to the amazed Rector),
-"it's time we were off." And the Bailie, making a hurried rush for the
-door, found himself in the arms of the school sergeant, who had caught
-the sound of the uproar in the Rector's class-room, and suspected
-trouble.
-
-"Preserve us a', body and soul!" cried the Crimean veteran, as he
-brought the Bailie to an equilibrium. "Could onybody have expected
-this?" And then, with much presence of mind, he closed the door of the
-Latin class-room and conducted the Bailie down-stairs to his cab, while
-the magistrate remonstrated that the Rector was coming with him, and
-that both were going to discuss the higher education of youth at the
-_Black Bull_.
-
-"Na, na, Bailie," said the sergeant. "It's no to the _Black Bull_, or
-ony other bull, ye're to go this afternoon, but back to yir ain hoose.
-If ye maun taste, would it no have been more respectable to keep
-indoors, instead of making an exhibeetion of yourself afore the
-Seminary? It's no becomin' in a magistrate, and it's michty bad for the
-laddies."
-
-It was the sergeant who delivered the astonishing figure at the
-blameless home of Bailie MacConachie, although it is right to say that
-this visit was not at all in the plan, and called forth a vigorous
-protest from the Bailie's substitute. And to the day of his death, the
-real and proper Bailie spent odd moments of his spare time in explaining
-to an incredulous public that he had never "tasted" in his life, and
-that on the day in question he had been transacting private business in
-Dundee.
-
-
-
-
-THE TRIUMPH OF THE SEMINARY
-
-XV
-
-
-As the East is distant from the West, so far was Muirtown Seminary
-removed in its manners and customs from an English public school; but at
-one point they met on common ground, and that was the "tuck-shop." It
-does not matter that an English house master be careful to provide an
-ample supply of wholesome food for his boys, and even add, on occasion,
-toothsome dainties, such as jam at Sunday tea, and sausages for a
-Saturday supper, they will agree unanimously, and declare aloud, that
-they can hardly recall such a thing as breakfast, so ghostly has it
-grown, and that they would be ashamed to offer their dinner to the
-beasts which perish. They will write such descriptions home, and hold
-such conferences with friends spending the holidays with them, and they
-will all vie with one another in applying such weird and fearsome
-adjectives to the butter, milk, coffee, meat, potatoes, and
-pudding--but at the mention of pudding they will simply look at one
-another and be silent, despairing of the English language--that their
-horrified parents will take counsel together by the hour whether their
-poor boy ought not to be taken from school and surrounded by home
-comforts. When the emaciated invalid hears of this drastic measure, he
-protests strongly, and insists that it would ruin him for life; for, to
-do the ruffians justice, a boy may be half-starved and swished every
-second day, and bullied between times, till his life is hardy worth
-living, he will still stand by his school, and prefer it as a place of
-residence to his home. Neither ample meals, nor the pretty bedroom with
-white curtains, nor the long lie in the morning, nor a party in the
-evening, nor all his mother's petting, will make up to this savage for
-the racket of the dormitories, and the fight at the bathroom, and the
-babel at the dinner-table, and the recreations which enliven "prep," and
-the excitement of a house match, and the hazardous delights of football,
-and the tricks on a new boy, and the buttered eggs--a dozen at least
-between two at a study supper. It only remains therefore that his father
-should write a pathetic letter to the _Standard_, and that other parents
-should join in, for a fortnight, explaining to the English public that
-the manhood of the country is being destroyed in its early years, and
-the boys at school will read the letters aloud with much unction, and
-declare that "Pater has warmed up old Skinny properly," while their
-mother sends them generous remittances that they may obtain nourishing
-food to supplement their starvation rations. This money will be spent
-rapidly, but also shrewdly, at the "tuck-shop," where some old servant
-of the school is making a small fortune in providing for the boys such
-meat as their souls love, and for a fortnight Tom and his friends, for
-he is not a fellow to see his chums die before his eyes, will live on
-the fat of the land, which, upon the whole, means cocoa, sardines,
-sausages, and eggs.
-
-Seminary boys had their meals at home, and were very soundly fed with
-porridge and milk in the morning, followed by tea and ham, if their
-conduct had been passably decent. Scots broth and meat for dinner, with
-an occasional pudding, and a tea in the evening which began with
-something solid and ended with jam, made fair rations, and, although
-such things may very likely be done now, when we are all screaming about
-our rights, no boy of the middle Victorian period wrote to the _Muirtown
-Advertiser_ complaining of the home scale of diet. Yet, being boys,
-neither could they be satisfied with the ordinary and civilised means of
-living, but required certain extra delicacies to help them through the
-day. It was not often that a Seminary lad had a shilling in his pocket,
-and once only had gold been seen--when Dr. Manley paid Speug a medical
-fee for his advice in Bulldog's sickness--but there were few in the
-Seminary who were not able to rattle some pennies together, and, in the
-end, every penny found its way to the till of that comprehensive
-merchant and remarkable woman, Mrs. McWhae. Her shop and the other old
-houses beside it have been pulled down long ago, to make room for a
-handsome block of buildings, and I think her exact site is occupied by
-the plate-glass windows and gorgeous display of the "Breadalbane
-Emporium," where you can buy everything from a frying pan to a
-drawing-room suite, but where you cannot get a certain delicacy called
-"gundy," which Mrs. McWhae alone could make as it ought to be made, and
-at the remembrance thereof the very teeth begin to water. Mrs. McWhae
-did not sell books nor clothes, nor any other effeminate luxury of life,
-but she kept in stock everything that was really necessary to the life
-of a well-living and high-minded boy. There he could obtain marbles from
-the common clay, six for a halfpenny, on to the finer "streakies," six
-for a penny, till you came to large marbles with a red and blue pattern
-on a white ground, which were a halfpenny each, and climbed to
-"glassies" at a penny each; and there was one glass leviathian which
-contained all colours within its sphere, and which was kept only to be
-handled and admired. Tops were there, too, from polished little
-beauties with shining steel tips, which were intended only for
-amusement, and were spun with fine white cord, to unadorned, massive,
-vicious-looking warriors with sharpened projecting points, which were
-intended for the battlefield, and were spun with rough, strong twine,
-and which, dexterously used, would split another top from head to foot
-as when you slice butter with a knife. Her stock of kites in the season
-was something to see, and although she did not venture upon
-cricket-bats, which were sold by the hair-dresser, nor cricket-balls,
-she had every other kind of ball--solid gutta-percha balls, for hasty
-games in the "breaks," white skin-covered rounder balls, and hollow
-india-rubber balls, which you could fill with water at the lade, and
-then use with much success as a squirt. Girls, we noticed, employed this
-"softie" in silly games of their own, trying whether they could make it
-rebound a hundred times from the ground, but we had no doubt about its
-proper use in the purposes of Creation. And Mrs. McWhae--peace to her
-ashes!--provided all things in meat and drink which a boy could desire;
-unless, of course, on some great occasion he wished to revel
-imperially--then he went to Fenwick's rock-shop, where generations have
-turned their eager feet, and beyond which nothing is left to desire.
-Fenwick's, however, was rather for our fathers than for ourselves, and
-we were almost content with Mrs. McWhae, where you could get
-ginger-beer of her own making at a penny a bottle, better than that
-which they sold at the _Muirtown Arms_ at sixpence; and treacle-beer
-also at a penny, but in this case the bottle was double the size and was
-enough for two fellows; and halfpenny rolls, if you were fiercely hungry
-and could not get home to dinner, so tough that only a boy's teeth could
-tear them to pieces; and tarts, so full that it required long skill to
-secure every drop of the jam, and your fingers were well worth licking
-afterwards; and peppermint balls of black and white, one of which would
-keep your mouth sweet for an hour of Latin--that is, if you only sucked
-gently and didn't crunch. But the glory of the establishment was the
-"gundy." There was a room behind the shop where Mrs. McWhae, who was a
-widow, elderly and not prepossessing, lived and slept, and dressed
-herself, and cooked her food, and, perhaps, on rare occasions, washed,
-and there she prepared her tempting meats and drinks for the Seminary.
-We lived in a pre-scientific age, and did not go curiously into the
-origin of things, being content to take the Creation as it stood, and to
-use the gifts of the gods in their finished form. But I believe that
-"gundy" was made of the coarsest and cheapest sugar, which our hostess
-boiled to a certain point, and then with her own fair hands, which it
-was said she wetted with her lips, drew out and out, till at last, by
-the constant drawing, it came to a light brown colour; after which she
-cut the finished product into sticks of a foot long, and wrapped it up
-in evil-looking brown paper, twisting the two ends. And, wonders of
-wonders! all within that paper, and the paper itself, you could have for
-one halfpenny! Good! There is no word for it, as the preachers say,
-"humanly speaking." The flavour thereof so rich, so satisfying, so
-stimulating, and the amount thereof so full and so tenacious. Why, that
-"gundy" would so cling to your teeth and hide itself about your mouth,
-and spread itself out, that he was a clever fellow who had drained its
-last resources within an hour. Mrs. McWhae was a widow of a military
-gentleman, who, it was understood, had performed prodigies of valour in
-the Black Watch, and she was a woman of masculine vigour, who only dealt
-upon a cash basis, and in any case of dispute was able to use her hands
-effectively. Like most women she was open to blandishments, and Nestie
-Molyneux, with his English tongue and pretty ways, could get round the
-old lady, and she had profound though inexpressed respect for Speug,
-whom she regarded as a straightforward fighter, and the two friends
-would sometimes be allowed the highest privilege in her power, to see
-her make a brew of "gundy." And it is from hints dropped by those two
-favoured customers that the above theory of the making of this
-delectable sweet has been formed.
-
-It was possible, with a proper celerity, to visit Mrs. McWhae's during
-the "breaks," and to spend three minutes in those happy precincts and
-not be absolutely late for the next class; and during the dinner-hour
-her shop was crowded, and the steps outside and the very pavement were
-blocked by the Seminary, waiting for their "gundy" and ginger-beer.
-Little boys who had been fortunate enough to get their provisions early,
-and were coming out to enjoy the "gundy" in some secret place, hid their
-treasure within their waistcoats, lest a bigger fellow should supply
-himself without the trouble of waiting his turn, and defer payment to
-the end of the year. And one of the lords of the school would on
-occasion clear out a dozen of the small fry, in order that he might
-select his refreshments comfortably. It was indeed the Seminary Club,
-with its bow-window like other clubs, and the steps on which the members
-could stand, and from the steps you commanded three streets, so that
-there were many things to see, and in snowball time many things to do.
-McWhae's had only one inconvenience, and that was that the line of
-communication could be cut off by raiding parties from the "Pennies" and
-other rival schools. When the snow was deep on the ground, and the enemy
-was strong on the field, it was necessary to bring down supplies under
-charge of a convoy, and if anything could have added to the flavour of
-the "gundy," it was that you had fought your way up Breadalbane Street
-to get it, and your way back to enjoy it, that you had lost your bonnet
-in a scrimmage, and that the remains of a snow ball were trickling down
-your back. Precious then was the dainty sweet as the water which the
-mighty men brought to David from the well of Bethlehem.
-
-"My word!" cried Speug, who was winding up the dinner-hour with Nestie
-Molyneux, on the upper step of the club-house, "if there isn't the
-'Bumbees' driving in a four-in-hand!" and the brake of the _Muirtown
-Arms_ passed, with a dozen smart and well-set-up lads rejoicing openly,
-and, wheeling round by the corner of the Cathedral, disappeared up the
-road which ran to Drumtochty. "And where think ye have their royal
-highnesses been?"
-
-If the name of a school be St. Columba's, and the boys call themselves
-Columbians, it is very profane to an absolutely respectable Scots saint,
-and very rude to a number of well-behaved lads, to call them "Bumbees";
-but Speug was neither reverent nor polite, and the Seminary, although
-mainly occupied with local quarrels, yet harboured a distant grudge
-against the new public school at St. Columba's, which had been recently
-started in a romantic part of Perthshire. Its founders were a number of
-excellent and perhaps slightly superior persons, who were justly aghast
-at the somewhat rough life and unfinished scholarship of the Scots
-grammar schools, and who did not desire that Scots lads of the better
-class should be sent of necessity to the English public schools. Their
-idea was to establish a public school after the English method in
-Scotland, and so St. Columba's kept terms, and had dormitories, and a
-chapel, and playing-fields, and did everything on a smaller scale which
-was done at Rugby and Harrow. The masters of St. Columba's would have
-nothing to do with such modest men as the staff of the Seminary. The
-Columbians occasionally came down to Muirtown and sniffed through the
-town. Two or three boys had been taken from the Seminary, because it was
-vulgar, and sent to St. Columba's, in order to get into genteel society.
-And those things had gradually filtered into the mind of the Seminary,
-which was certainly a rough school, but at the same time very proud and
-patriotic, and there was a latent desire in the mind of the Seminary
-that the Columbians should come down in snow-time and show their
-contempt for the Muirtown grammar school, when that school would explain
-to the Columbians what it thought of them and all their works. As this
-pleasure was denied the Seminary, and the sight of the brake was too
-much for Speug's uncultured nature, he forgot himself, and yelled
-opprobrious names, in which the word "Bumbee" was distinct and
-prominent.
-
-"Your m-manners are very b-bad, Speug, and I am a-ashamed of you.
-D-don't you know that the 'B-bumbees' have been p-playing in England and
-w-won their match? Twenty-two runs and s-seven wickets to fall. G-good
-s-sport, my Speug; read it in the newspaper."
-
-"It wasna bad. I didna think the 'Bumbees' had as muckle spunk in them;
-seven wickets, did ye say, against the English? If I had kenned that,
-Nestie, ye little scoundrel, I would have given them a cheer. Seven
-wickets--they did the job properly." And Speug took his "gundy" with
-relish.
-
-"Speug!"--and Nestie spoke with much impressiveness--"I have an idea.
-Why shouldn't the Seminary challenge the 'Bumbees' to a match next
-s-summer? We could p-practice hard all this summer, and begin s-soon
-next year and t-try them in July."
-
-"It would be juist michty," said Speug, who was cheered at the thought
-of any battle, and he regarded Nestie with admiration, and then his face
-fell and he declared it of no use.
-
-"They wouldna come, dash them for their cheek! and if they came they'd
-lick us clean. They have a professional and they play from morning till
-night. We're light-weights, Nestie. If they went in first, we'd never
-get them oot; and if we went in, they'd have us oot in half an 'oor."
-
-"For shame, Speug, to run down the Seminary as if you were a 'Penny'!
-Didn't the county professional say that Robertson was the b-best young
-player he'd seen for t-ten years? And Bauldie hits a good b-ball, and no
-b-bowler can get you out, Speug, and there are other chaps just want
-p-practice. We might be b-beaten, but we'd make a stiff fight for the
-old Seminary."
-
-"Ye can bowl, Nestie," said Speug generously, as they went back to
-school at the trot; "ye're the trickiest overhand I ever saw; and Jock
-Howieson is a fearsome quick and straicht bowler; and for a
-wicket-keeper Dunc Robertson is no easy to beat. Gosh!" exclaimed Speug,
-as they wheeled into the back-yard, "we'll try it."
-
-The Seminary were slow to move, but once they took fire they burned
-gloriously; and when Dunc Robertson and Nestie Molyneux, who had been
-sent up to St. Columba's as the most presentable deputation, returned
-and informed the school assembled round the Russian guns that the
-"Bumbees" would send down their second eleven, since the first was too
-old for the Seminary, and play a single innings match on a Saturday
-afternoon in the end of July, next year, the Seminary lifted up their
-voice in joyful anticipation.
-
-It did not matter that the "Bumbees" had only consented in terms of
-condescension by way of encouraging local sport, as they had tried to
-organise a Drumtochty eleven, or that it was quite understood that the
-result would be a hopeless defeat for the Seminary. They were coming,
-and the Seminary had a year to make ready; and if they were beaten in
-cricket, well, it couldn't be helped, but it was the first time
-Bulldog's boys had been beaten in anything, and they would know the
-reason why.
-
-Special practice began that evening and continued that evening, and
-every other evening except Sundays as long as light lasted and on till
-the middle of October, when football could no longer be delayed.
-Practice began again a month before the proper season and continued on
-the same lines till the great day in July. The spirit of the Seminary
-was fairly up, and from the Rector who began freely to refer to the
-Olympian games, to the little chaps who had just come from a dame's
-school and were proud to field balls at bowling practice, the whole
-school was swept into the excitement of the coming event, and it is said
-that Bulldog stumped over every evening after dinner to watch the play
-and was the last to leave.
-
-"B-Bully's fairly on the job, Speug, and he's j-just itching to have a
-bat himself. Say, Speug, if we get badly licked, he'll be ill again; but
-if we p-pull it off, I bet he'll give a rippin' old supper."
-
-News spread through the town that the Seminary was to fight the
-"Bumbees" for the glory of the Fair City, and enthusiasm began to kindle
-in all directions. Our cricket club had played upon the Meadow as best
-it could; but now the Council of the city set apart a piece of ground,
-and six of the leading dignitaries paid to have it cut and rolled, so
-that there might be a good pitch for playing and something worth seeing
-on the day of battle. There were half a dozen good players in Muirtown
-in those days, two of whom were in the All Scotland eleven, and they
-used to come along in spare evenings and coach the boys, while the
-county professional now and again dropped in, just to see whether he
-could bowl Speug out, and after half an hour's hopeless attack upon that
-imperturbable youth, the professional declared the Seminary had a
-chance. But the word was passed round that there should be no boasting,
-and that Muirtown must be prepared for a hopeless and honourable defeat.
-Mr. McGuffie senior was the only man on the morning of the match who was
-prepared to bet on even terms, and his offers were refused by the
-citizens, first because betting was sinful, and, second, it was
-possible, though not likely, they might lose.
-
-The Columbians came down as usual in a brake, with only two horses this
-time, and made a pretty show when they were dressed in their white
-flannels and school colours, and every one admitted that they were a
-good-looking and well-set-up eleven; they brought half a dozen other
-fellows with them, to help to cheer their victory and to keep their
-score, and a master to be umpire. The Seminary eleven were in all
-colours and such dress as commended itself to their taste. Robertson and
-Molyneux and one or two others in full flannels, but Speug in a grey
-shirt and a pair of tight tweed trousers of preposterous pattern, which
-were greatly admired by his father's grooms--and, for that matter, by
-the whole school; and although Jock Howieson had been persuaded into
-flannel bags, as we called them then, he stuck to a red shirt of
-outrageous appearance, which was enough to frighten any bowler. Jack
-Moncrieffe, the Muirtown cricket crack and bowler of the All Scotland,
-was umpire for the Seminary, and the very sight of him taught the first
-lesson of respect to the "Bumbees"; and when they learned that Jim
-Fleming, the other Muirtown crack, had been coaching the Seminary all
-the summer, they began to feel that it might be a real match, not merely
-a few lessons in the manly game of cricket given to encourage a common
-school, don't you know.
-
-There was a representative turn-out of Muirtown men, together with a
-goodly sprinkling of Muirtown mothers and sisters. Bulldog took up his
-position early, just in front of the tent, and never moved till the
-match was over; nor did he speak, save once; but the Seminary knew that
-he was thinking plenty, and that the master of mathematics had his eye
-upon them. Some distance off, the Count--that faithful friend of his
-Seminary "dogs"--promenaded up and down a beat of some dozen yards, and
-spent the time in one long excitement, cheering with weird foreign
-accent when a good hit was made, swearing in French when anything went
-wrong, bewailing almost unto tears the loss of a Seminary wicket, and
-hurrying to shake hands with every one of his eleven, whether he had
-done well or ill, when he came in from the wicket. Mr. McGuffie moved
-through the crowd from time to time, and finally succeeded in making a
-bet on the most advantageous terms with that eminent dignitary, the Earl
-of Kilspindie's coachman, who was so contemptuous of the Seminary from
-the Castle point of view that he took the odds of five to one in
-sovereigns that they would be beaten. And on the outskirts of the crowd,
-half ashamed to be there and doubtful of his reception, hovered Bailie
-MacConachie.
-
-The Seminary won the toss, and by the advice of Jim Fleming sent the
-Columbians in, and there was no Seminary lad nor any Muirtown man, for
-the Frenchman did not count--who denied that the strangers played a
-good, clean game--pretty form, and brave scoring; and on their part the
-Columbians were not slow to acknowledge that the Seminary knew how to
-field, wherever they had learned it. No ball sliding off the bat, could
-pass Dunc Robertson, and as for byes they were impossible with Speug as
-long-stop, for those were the days when there were long-stops. Cosh had
-his faults, and they were not few, but the Seminary thought more of him
-after a miraculous catch which he made at long-off; and Bauldie, at
-square-leg, might not be able to prevent a two occasionally, but he
-refused to allow fours. Jock Howieson was a graceless bowler and an
-offence to the eye, but his balls were always in the line of the middle
-stump, and their rate that of an express train; and Nestie not only had
-a pretty style, but a way of insinuating himself among the wickets which
-four Columbians had not the power to refuse. There was a bit of work at
-long-field, which even the Columbians could not help cheering, though it
-lost them a wicket, and the way in which a ball was sent up from
-cover-point to Dunc Robertson, and so took another wicket, wrung a word
-of private praise from the Columbian umpire. Still, the Seminary was
-fighting against heavy odds, an uphill, hopeless battle, and when the
-visitors went out with a hundred and one to their score, Mr. McGuffie
-senior was doubtful of his sovereign; and only the Count prophesied
-triumph, going round and shaking hands individually with every one of
-his "dogs," and magnifying their doings unto the sky. Bailie
-MacConachie, by this time was lost in the crowd, working his way
-gradually to the front, and looking as if he would have liked to cheer,
-but thinking it better not to call attention to his presence. Then the
-Seminary went in, and there is no question but that they had hard times
-at the hands of the Columbians, who were well trained and played all
-together. Robertson, who was the hope of the Seminary, went out for
-twenty, and Bauldie for ten; Nestie played carefully, but only managed
-twelve, and the other fellows were too easily bowled or caught out, each
-adding something, but none doing much, till at last the score stood at
-sixty-nine; with the last two of the Seminary in. Things were looking
-very black, and even the Count was dashed, while Bulldog's face
-suggested that next Monday the whole school would be thrashed, and that
-a special treat would be reserved for the eleven. Mr. McGuffie, however,
-with a sportsman's instinct, seized the opportunity to make another bet
-with his lordship's coachman, and increased the odds from five to ten,
-and the dignitary declared it was simply robbing McGuffie of his money.
-
-"We'll see aboot that, my man, when the horses pass the line. I've seen
-many a race changed before the finish," and Mr. McGuffie took his
-position in the front row to see the end.
-
-Thirty-three runs to make to win the match, and only one wicket to fall,
-and the Columbians discounted their victory in a gentlemanly fashion,
-while Jim Fleming looked very grave. "Give them no chances," he said to
-Howieson, as that stolid youth went in to join Speug, who had been at
-the wicket for some time, but had only scored ten. Any over might close
-the match, and perhaps the Columbians' bowlers grew careless, for three
-overs passed and the two friends of many a scrimmage were still in, and
-neither of them had shown any intention of going out. Quite the
-contrary, for Speug had broken into fours, and Howieson, who played with
-the gracefulness of a cow, would allow no ball to interfere with his
-wickets, and had run up a couple of twos on his own account.
-
-"Juist beginnin'," said Speug's father. "Him oot sune? I tell you he's
-settlin' down for the afternoon and that laddie Howieson is a dour
-deevil. The fact is"--Mr. McGuffie took a circle of spectators into his
-confidence--"they're juist gettin' into the stride." The Count preened
-his plumage and plucked up heart again, while the Seminary lads,
-gathered in a solid mass to the left of the tent, were afraid to cheer
-lest they should invite defeat, and, while they pretended unconcern,
-could feel their hearts beating. "They couldn't be better matched," said
-Nestie. "Speug and Jock--they've had l-lots of things in hand together,
-and they'll d-do it yet. See!" and at that moment Speug sent a ball to
-the boundary. Now there were only seventeen, instead of thirty-three
-runs to make.
-
-They were playing a game of the utmost carefulness, blocking the balls
-which were dangerous and could not be played; declining to give the
-faintest chance of a catch, and taking a run short rather than be run
-out, and so the score crept up with a two from Howieson, who had got
-into a habit of twos, and being a phlegmatic youth, kept to it, and a
-three and a four from Speug, and another two from Howieson, and a three
-from Speug.
-
-Across the heads of the people McGuffie shouted to the coachman, "Take
-you again, Petrie--ten to one, five to one, three to one against the
-Seminary?" And when there was no answer, Mr. McGuffie offered to take it
-even from anybody, and finally appealed to the man, next him. It was
-Bailie MacConachie, who forgetful of the past and everything except the
-glory of Muirtown, was now standing beside Speug's father and did not
-care. "Speug's no dead yet Bailie"; and then, catching the look in
-MacConachie's face, "bygones are bygones, we're a' Muirtown men the
-day"; and then his voice rose again across the crowd "I'll give ye odds,
-coachman--two to one against the 'Bumbees'" for Howieson had scored
-another two, and two more runs would win the match for the Seminary.
-
-Then a terrible thing happened, for Howieson, instead of stopping the
-ball with his bat, must needs stop it with his leg. "How's that?" cried
-the Columbian wicket-keeper, "how's that, umpire?" Was his leg before
-wicket or not? And for the moment every one, Seminary and Columbian,
-Bulldog, McGuffie, Bailie, men, women and children, held their breath.
-It would have been maddening to have been beaten only by one run, and
-after such a gallant fight.
-
-"Not out!" replied the umpire in two seconds; but it seemed ten minutes,
-and a yell went up from the throats of the Seminary, and Bailie
-MacConachie took off his hat and wiped his forehead, which Mr. McGuffie
-noted with sympathy and laid up to the Bailie's credit. There was
-another crisis at hand which had been forgotten by Muirtown, but it was
-very keenly present to the minds of the Columbians. One over more and
-the time limit would be reached and the game closed. If the Seminary
-could make two runs, they would win; if the Columbians could get Speug's
-wicket, they would win. They put on their most dangerous man, whose ball
-had a trick of coming down just six inches in front of the block, and
-then, having escaped the attention of the batsman, of coming perilously
-near the wicket. His attack compelled the most watchful defence, and
-hardly allowed the chance of a run. Two balls Speug blocked, but could
-do no more with them; the third got past and shaved the wicket; the
-fourth Speug sent to slip but the fielding allowed no run; the fifth,
-full of cunning, he stopped with difficulty, and fear seized the heart
-of Muirtown that the last would capture the wickets and give the victory
-to the visitors. And it was the cleverest of all the balls, for it was
-sent to land inside the block, just so much nearer as might deceive the
-batsman accustomed to the former distance. No sooner had it left the
-bowler's hand then Fleming saw the risk and gnawed his moustache. Every
-eye followed the ball through the air on what seemed, for the anxiety of
-it, a course of miles. The Columbians drew together unconsciously in
-common hope. Robertson, the Seminary captain, dug his right heel into
-the ground, and opposite, between the field and the river, the leader of
-that rapscallion school, the "Pennies," stood erect, intent,
-open-mouthed with his crew around, for once silent and motionless. Speug
-took a swift stride forward and met the ball nearly three feet from the
-ground, and, gathering up all the strength in his tough little body, he
-caught that ball on the middle of the bat and sent it over square-leg's
-head, who had come in too near and made one hopeless clutch at it, and
-through the ranks of the "Pennies," who cleared out on every side to
-let it pass as they had never yielded to Speug himself; and ere Muirtown
-had found voice to cheer, the red-haired varlet who ruled the "Pennies"
-had flung his bonnet, such as it was, into the air, for, the ball was in
-the river, and the Seminary had won by three runs and one wicket.
-
-Things happened then which are beyond the pen of man, but it was freely
-said that the "Hurrah" of Bulldog, master of mathematics, drowned the
-hunting-cry of Mr. McGuffie, and that when the Count, in his joy over
-the victory of his "jolly dogs," knocked off Bailie MacConachie's hat,
-and would have apologised, the Bailie kicked his own hat in triumph.
-This is certain, that the Seminary carried Speug and Howieson both
-protesting, from the North Meadow, in through the big school door; that
-Bulldog walked at the head of the procession, like a general coming home
-in his glory; that he insisted on the Bailie walking with him; that,
-after all the cheering was over, Speug proposed one cheer more for
-Bailie MacConachie, and that when the eleven departed for Bulldog's
-house for supper half the Seminary escorted the Bailie home.
-
-
-
-
-BULLDOG'S RECOMPENSE
-
-XVI
-
-
-When the rumour flew through Muirtown in Spring that Bulldog was to
-resign at the close of the summer term it was laughed to scorn, and
-treated as an agreeable jest. Had it been the rector who was more a
-learned ghost than a human being, or the English master who had grown
-stout and pursey, or some of the other masters who came and went like
-shadows, Muirtown had not given another thought to the matter, but
-Bulldog retiring, it was a very facetious idea, and Muirtown held its
-sides. Perhaps it was delicate health was the cause; and then Dr. Manley
-stormed through half Muirtown, declaring that he had never known Dugald
-MacKinnon have an hour's sickness except once when that little scoundrel
-Speug, or rather he should say Sir Peter McGuffie, consulting physician,
-brought his master through triumphantly with a trifle of assistance from
-himself as a general practitioner. Was it old age that ailed Bulldog?
-Then Bailie MacConachie was constrained to testify in public places, and
-was supported by all the other Bailies except MacFarlane, who got his
-education at Drumtochty that the mathematical master of Muirtown Academy
-had thrashed them all as boys, every man jack of them, being then not
-much older than themselves, and that he was now--barring his white
-hair--rather fresher than in the days of their youth? Had success
-departed at last from the mathematical class-room, after resting there
-as in a temple of wingless victory for three generations? Was it not
-known everywhere that William Pirie, whose grandfather was a senior
-pupil when Bulldog took the reins fifty-eight years ago, had simply
-romped through Edinburgh University gathering medals, prizes, bursaries,
-fellowships, and everything else that a mathematician could lay his
-hands on, and then had won a scholarship at Trinity College, Cambridge,
-with papers that were talked about in the College for fourteen days, and
-were laid past by one examiner as a treasure of achievement. May be, and
-this was no doubt the very heart of the jest, Bulldog had lost control
-of the boys, and his right hand had forgotten its cunning! So the boys
-were insulted in their homes by sympathetic inquiries as to when they
-had their last interview with the tawse and whether the canings were as
-nippy as ever, for Muirtown was proud to think that its favourite master
-was an expert in every branch of his calling and dealt with the
-grandchildren as thoroughly as he had done with the grandfathers. And
-Bailie MacFarlane meeting Bulldog crossing the bridge one morning as
-alert in step and austere in countenance as ever, asked him how he was
-keeping with affected sympathy, and allowed himself the luxury of a
-chuckle as one who has made a jocose remark.
-
-It came therefore with a shock to Muirtown when the following letter was
-read in the Town Council and was known next morning to every citizen
-from the Procurator Fiscal to London John.
-
-
-_To the Lord Provost, the Bailies, and the Council of Muirtown._
-
- "Gentlemen,--I beg to resign, as from the close of the present
- term, the position of Master of Mathematics, Arithmetic and
- Writing, in Muirtown Seminary, and to thank the council for the
- trust which they have placed in me for fifty-eight years.
-
- "I am, my Lord Provost and Gentlemen,
- "Your obedient servant,
- "Dugald MacKinnon."
-
-
-When Muirtown recovered itself a conflict began between Bulldog and the
-citizens which lasted for four intense weeks in which the town was at
-fever heat and Bulldog was outwardly colder and calmer than ever. And he
-won all along the line. The Council passed a resolution of respectful
-admiration, studded with stately adjectives, and, for such a document,
-almost heated in feeling, to which Mr. MacKinnon sent a courteous but
-guarded reply. The Council intimated that they would consider his letter
-to be non-existent, and not even put him to the trouble of withdrawing,
-and Mr. MacKinnon intimated to the Town Clerk that in that case he must
-trouble the Council with an exact copy. The Council then appointed a
-deputation to wait on him, and Mr. MacKinnon declared himself unworthy
-of such an unprecedented honour, and declined to see them. And then the
-Council, in despair, and with a sad sense of the inevitable, strained
-their powers to the utmost with immense unanimity, and voted a handsome
-pension to "Dugald MacKinnon, Esq., Master of Arts, in grateful,
-although unworthy recognition of the unbroken, unwearied, and invaluable
-service he has rendered to the education of this ancient city for a
-period of more than half a century, during which time nearly two
-thousand lads have been sent forth equipped for the practical business
-of life in Muirtown, in the great cities of our land and unto the ends
-of the earth." Mr. MacKinnon explained in a letter of perfect
-handwriting that he was quite undeserving of such a resolution, as he
-had done nothing more than his duty, and that he could not accept any
-retiring allowance--first, because he was not sure that it was strictly
-legal, and, secondly, because he had made provision for his last years,
-but on this occasion he signed himself "Your most obliged servant." It
-was then determined to entertain this obdurate man at a banquet, and to
-make a presentation of plate to him. And Mr. MacKinnon was again most
-grateful for the kindness of his fellow citizens and the honour they
-proposed to do him, but he clearly indicated he would neither accept the
-banquet nor a piece of plate. It dawned gradually upon Muirtown, a city
-slow but sure of understanding, and with a silent sense of the fitness
-of things, that Mr. Dugald MacKinnon, having reigned like Cæsar Augustus
-for fifty-eight years without contradiction and without conciliation,
-giving no favours and receiving none, but doing his part by the laddies
-of Muirtown with all his strength of mind and conscience and right arm,
-was not going to weaken at the end of his career. For him to rise at the
-close of a dinner and return thanks for a piece of plate would have been
-out of keeping with his severe and lonely past, and for him to be a
-pensioner, even of the Town Council, would have been an indignity. He
-had reigned longer and more absolutely than any master in the annals of
-the Seminary, and to the last day he had held the sceptre without
-flinching. As a king, strong, uncompromising and invincible, he would
-lay aside the purple, and disappear into private life. And Muirtown was
-proud of Bulldog.
-
-Bulldog had beaten the magistrates of Muirtown in all their glory, and
-his fellow citizens united in one enthusiastic body, but he had not yet
-settled with the boys. They had not expressed in resolutions or any
-other way their appreciation of their master, and they had followed the
-futile attempts of their parents with silent contempt. It was wonderful
-that grown up people should be so far left to themselves as to suppose
-that Bulldog, their own Bulldog, would ever condescend to be dined by
-Bailies and stand at the close of dinner like a dithering idiot with a
-silver jug in his hands, or some such trash, while his hands were
-itching to thrash every one of his hosts as he had thrashed them long
-ago. When the boys heard their fathers raging at Bulldog's proud
-obstinacy they offered no remark, but when they got together they
-chortled with glee, and felt that there was comfort and compensation for
-many an honest thrashing, in the fact that Bulldog was as much ruler of
-Muirtown as he had been of the Seminary. No rebellion against him had
-ever had the faintest gleam of hope, and no rebel had ever escaped
-without his just punishment, but the boys, rascals to the last and full
-of devilry, agreed together by an instinct rather than a conference that
-they would close Bulldog's last term with a royal insurrection. He had
-governed them with an iron hand, and they had been proud to be governed,
-considering the wounds of Bulldog ten thousand times more desirable than
-the kisses of McIntyres', but they would have one big revenge and then
-Bulldog and his "fiddlers" would part for ever. They held long
-confabulations together in the Rector's class-room while that learned
-man was reading aloud some new and specially ingenious translation of an
-ode and in the class-room of modern languages, while Moossy's successor
-was trying to teach Jock Howieson how to pronounce a modified U, in the
-German tongue, in Mrs. McWhae's tuck-shop when the "gundy" allowed them
-to speak at all, and at the Russian guns where they gathered in the
-break instead of playing rounders. The junior boys were not admitted to
-those mysterious meetings, but were told to wait and see what they would
-see, and whatever plan the seniors formed not a word of it oozed out in
-the town. But the Seminary was going to do something mighty, and Bulldog
-would repent the years of his tyranny.
-
-Funds were necessary for the campaign, since it was going to be a big
-affair, and Speug directed that a war chest should at once be
-established. No one outside the secret junta knew what was going to be
-done with the money, but orders were issued that by hook or crook every
-boy in school except the merest kids should pay sixpence a week to Jock
-Howieson, who was not an accomplished classical scholar nor specially
-versed in geometry but who could keep the most intricate accounts in his
-head with unerring accuracy, and knew every boy in the Seminary by head
-mark. And although he was not a fluent speaker, he was richly endowed
-with other powers of persuasion, and he would be a very daring young
-gentleman indeed, and almost indifferent to circumstances, who did not
-pay his sixpence to Jock before set of sun each Monday. Jock made no
-demands, and gave no receipts; he engaged in no conversation whatever,
-but simply waited and took. If any one tried to compound with Jock for
-threepence, one look at the miserable produced the sixpence; and when
-little Cosh following in the devious steps of his elder brother
-insinuated that he had paid already, Jock dropped him into the lade to
-refresh his memory. No one directly inquired what was to be done with
-the money, for every one knew it was safe with Jock, and that it would
-be well spent by the mighty four who now ruled the school: Jock,
-Bauldie, Nestie, and Speug--Dunc Robertson after a brief course at
-Sandhurst having got his commission in his father's regiment. And it was
-also known that every halfpenny was going to give a big surprise to
-Bulldog, so the boys, during those weeks treated their fathers with
-obsequious respect for commercial reasons, and coaxed additional pennies
-out of their mothers on every false pretence, and paid endearing visits
-to maiden aunts, and passed Mrs. McWhae's shop, turning away their eyes
-and noses from vanity, and sold to grinding capitalists their tops,
-marbles, young rabbits, and kites; and "as sure as death" every Monday
-the silent but observant treasurer received for eight weeks 5£ 4s., at
-the rate of sixpence a head, from 208 boys. They kept their secret like
-an oyster, and there was not one informer among the 208; but curiosity
-grew hot, and there were many speculations, and it was widely believed
-that the money would be used in sending a cane of the most magnificent
-proportions to Bulldog, as a remembrance of his teaching days, and a
-mark of respect from his pupils. One boy, being left to himself, dared
-to suggest this to Speug; and when he looked round at some distance off,
-Speug's eye was still upon him, and he declared from his experience that
-it was not healthy to question Speug. Two hundred and four boys,
-however, with the observant faculties of Indian scouts, and intent upon
-discovery could not be altogether baffled, and various bits of reliable
-information were passed round the school. That the four had gone one
-evening into Bailie MacConachie's, who was now on terms of high
-popularity with the school; that the Count who was even then sickening
-for his death, and Mr. McGuffie, whom nothing but an accident could
-kill, had also been present; that at different times the Count had been
-seen examining the gold watches in Gillespie's shop, whose watches were
-carried by every man of standing in the Scots Midlands, and pronouncing
-his judgment on their appearance with vivacious gestures; that the
-Bailie had been seen examining the interior of a watch with awful
-solemnity while Councillor Gillespie hung upon his decision; and, to
-crown all, that Mr. McGuffie senior, after a lengthy interview with the
-head of the firm, during which he had given him gratuitous advice on
-three coming races, had left Gillespie's, declaring with pronounced
-language that if certain persons did not obtain certain things for £40
-he, Mr. McGuffie, although not a person giving to betting, would wager
-ten to one that the place of business would close in a year. It was
-whispered therefore in the corridors, with some show of truth, that the
-Seminary was going to take vengeance on Bulldog with a gift, and that
-the gift, whatever it might be, was lying in Gillespie's shop. And the
-school speculated whether there was any one of their number, even Speug
-himself, who would dare to face Bulldog with a gift; and whether, if he
-did, that uncompromising man might not occupy his last week of
-mastership in thrashing the school one by one, from the oldest unto the
-youngest, for their blazing impertinence.
-
-The closing day was a Thursday that year, and it was characteristic of
-Bulldog that he met his classes as usual on Wednesday, and when
-Howieson disgraced himself beyond usual in Euclid, having disgraced
-himself more moderately on four preceding days that he administered
-discipline on Jock with conscientious severity. Jock was the last boy
-Bulldog thrashed, and he was so lifted up as to be absolutely
-unendurable for the rest of the day, and boasted of the distinction for
-many a year. As four o'clock approached, the boys began to grow
-restless, and Bulldog's own voice was not perfectly steady when he
-closed the last problem with Q. E. D.
-
-"Q. E. D.; yes, Q. E. D., laddies, we have carried the argument to its
-conclusion according to the principles of things, and the book is
-finished. There is still seven minutes of the hour remaining, we will
-spend it in revising the work of the Senior Algebra Class."
-
-Their work has not been revised unto this day, for at that moment the
-door opened without any one knocking, and without any one offering an
-apology, and William Pirie, Master of Arts of Edinburgh, and scholar of
-Trinity College, Cambridge, and Duncan Robertson, 2nd Lieutenant in the
-Perthshire Buffs, made their appearance, accompanied by Bailie
-MacConachie, whose dignity was fearsome; the Count, who waved his hand
-gracefully to the school, and Mr. McGuffie, who included everybody in an
-affable nod; and behind this imposing deputation every boy of Muirtown
-Seminary who was not already in the mathematical class-room. Bulldog
-turned upon them like a lion caught in a snare, and if he had had only
-thirty seconds preparation, it is firmly believed he would have driven
-the whole deputation, old and young, out of the class-room and dealt
-with the conspirators who remained unto the setting of the sun. But it
-was a cunning plot, arranged and timed with minute care, and before
-Bulldog could say a word Pirie had begun, and he knew better than to say
-much.
-
-"If we have offended you, sir, you will pardon us for it is our last
-offence, and we have this time a fair excuse. Your laddies could not let
-you leave that desk and go out of this room for the last time without
-telling you that they are grateful, because you have tried to make them
-scholars, and to make them men. If any of us be able in after years to
-do our part well, we shall owe it more than anything else to your
-teaching and your discipline."
-
-Then Robertson, who was the other spokesman the four had chosen, began.
-
-"Can't make a speech, sir, it is not in my line, but everything Pirie
-said is true, and we are proud of our chief."
-
-"This," said Pirie, turning to the boys, "is the watch and chain which
-we ask the master to do us the honour of wearing through the days to
-come, and the inscription, sir," and now Pirie turned to the desk,
-"crowns our offence, but you will know how to read it!"
-
- "TO BULLDOG,
- WITH THE RESPECT AND AFFECTION
- OF
- HIS LADDIES."
-
-It was Bailie MacConachie--may everything be pardoned to him--who
-started the cheer; but it was Mr. McGuffie who led it over hedge and
-ditch, and it was of such a kind that the mathematical class-room had to
-be repaired before the beginning of next term. During the storm Bulldog
-stood with the watch in his hand, and his cheeks as white as his hair,
-and when at last there was silence he tried to speak, but the tender
-heart had broken the iron mask, and all he could say was "laddies."
-
-The Count, with quick tact, led off the second cheer, and the boys filed
-out of the class-room. Bulldog sat down at the desk, the watch before
-him, and covered his face with his hands. When an hour later he walked
-across the North Meadow there was not a boy to be seen but Bailie
-MacFarlane, who met him on the bridge (and passed without speaking),
-noticed that Bulldog was wearing his laddies' gift.
-
-Sitting in his garden that evening and looking down upon the plain,
-Bulldog called Nestie to his side, and pointed to the river. The evening
-sun was shining on the fields, ripening for harvest, and on the
-orchards, laden with fruit; and in the soft light, a rough
-weather-beaten coaster, which had fought her way through many a gale in
-the North Sea, and could not hold together much longer was dropping down
-with the tide. Newer and swifter vessels would take her place in the
-days to come, but the old craft had done her work well and faithfully,
-and now the cleanest and kindest of Scots rivers was carrying her gently
-to the eternal ocean.
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Young Barbarians, by Ian Maclaren
-
-*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30089 ***
+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30089 *** + +[Illustration: "NESTIE WAS STANDING IN THE CENTRE OF THE LARGE ENTRANCE +HALL."] + + + + YOUNG + BARBARIANS + + _By_ + IAN MACLAREN + Author of "_Beside the Bonnie Brier Bush_" + + ILLUSTRATED + + NEW YORK + Dodd, Mead and Company + 1910 + + + + Copyright, 1899 and 1900, + By The Curtis Publishing Company, + as + A SCOTS GRAMMAR SCHOOL. + + Copyright, 1900, + By The Curtis Publishing Company. + + Copyright, 1901, + By Dodd, Mead and Company. + + _First Edition, Published October, 1901_ + + + + +CONTENTS + + + I + PAGE + + "SPEUG" 1 + + II + + BULLDOG 21 + + III + + NESTIE 39 + + IV + + A FAMOUS VICTORY 59 + + V + + HIS PRIVATE CAPACITY 85 + + VI + + THE DISGRACE OF MR. BYLES 103 + + VII + + THE COUNT 121 + + VIII + + A TOURNAMENT 139 + + IX + + MOOSSY 163 + + X + + A LAST RESOURCE 183 + + XI + + A PLEASANT SIN 205 + + XII + + GUERILLA WARFARE 223 + + XIII + + THE FALL OF GOLIATH 245 + + XIV + + THE BAILIE'S DOUBLE 261 + + XV + + THE TRIUMPH OF THE SEMINARY 281 + + XVI + + BULLDOG'S RECOMPENSE 305 + + + + +LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS + + + "Nestie was standing in the centre of the large + entrance hall." Frontispiece + + "Peter dared not lift his head." 36 + + "'You are an ill-bred c-cad.'" 50 + + "Seized an excellent position behind two Russian + guns." 66 + + "Nestie whispered something in Speug's ear." 92 + + "Speug was dragged along the walk." 96 + + "They were so friendly that they gathered + round the party." 114 + + "They were brought in a large spring cart." 118 + + "Watching a battle royal between the tops." 134 + + "Before the hour the hall was packed." 158 + + "Thomas John next instant was sitting on the floor." 170 + + "The school fell over benches and over another." 174 + + "His hand closed again upon the sceptre of authority." 202 + + "They drank without any cup." 218 + + "Before him stood London John bearing the seductive + advertisement." 240 + + "A bottle of ferocious smelling-salts was held + to the patient's nose." 252 + + + + +"SPEUG" + +I + + +Muirtown Seminary was an imposing building of the classical order, +facing the north meadow and commanding from its upper windows a fine +view of the river Tay running rapidly and cleanly upon its gravel bed. +Behind the front building was the paved court where the boys played +casual games in the breaks of five minutes between the hours of study, +and this court had an entrance from a narrow back street along which, in +snow time, a detachment of the enemy from the other schools might steal +any hour and take us by disastrous surprise. There were those who wished +that we had been completely walled up at the back, for then we had met +the attack at a greater advantage from the front. But the braver souls +of our commonwealth considered that this back way, affording +opportunities for ambushes, sallies, subtle tactics, and endless +vicissitudes, lent a peculiar flavour to the war we waged the whole +winter through and most of the summer, and brought it nearer to the +condition of Red Indian fighting, which was our favourite reading and +our example of heroism. Again and again we studied the adventures of +Bill Biddon, the Indian spy, not only on account of his hairbreadth +escapes when he eluded the Indians after a miraculous fashion and +detected the presence of the red varmint by the turning of a leaf on the +ground, but also in order to find out new methods of deceit by which we +could allure our Indians into narrow places, or daring methods of attack +by which we could successfully outflank them on the broader street and +drive them into their own retreats with public ignominy. + +Within the building the glory of the Seminary was a massive stone stair, +circular in shape, and having a "well" surrounded on the ground floor by +a wall some three feet high. Down this stair the masters descended at +nine o'clock for the opening of the school, with Bulldog, who was the +mathematical master and the awful pride of the school, at their head, +and it was strictly forbidden that any boy, should be found within the +"well." As it was the most tempting of places for the deposit of +anything in the shape of rubbish, from Highland bonnets to little boys, +and especially as any boy found in the well was sure to be caned, there +was an obvious and irresistible opportunity for enterprise. Peter +McGuffie, commonly called the Sparrow, or in Scotch tongue "Speug," and +one of the two heads of our commonwealth, used to wait with an +expression of such demureness that it ought to have been a danger +signal till Bulldog was halfway down the stair, and a row of boys were +standing in expectation with their backs to the forbidden place. Then, +passing swiftly along, he swept off half a dozen caps and threw them +over, and suddenly seizing a tempting urchin landed him on the bed of +caps which had been duly prepared. Without turning his head one-eighth +of an inch, far less condescending to look over, Bulldog as he passed +made a mental note of the prisoner's name, and identified the various +bonnetless boys, and then, dividing his duty over the hours of the day, +attended to each culprit separately and carefully. If any person, from +the standpoint of this modern and philanthropic day, should ask why some +innocent victim did not state his case and lay the blame upon the +guilty, then it is enough to say that that person had never been a +scholar at Muirtown Seminary, and has not the slightest knowledge of the +character and methods of Peter McGuffie. Had any boy of our time given +information to a master, or, in the Scotch tongue, "had clyped," he +would have had the coldest reception at the hands of Bulldog, and when +his conduct was known to the school he might be assured of such constant +and ingenious attention at the hands of Speug that he would have been +ready to drown himself in the Tay rather than continue his studies at +Muirtown Seminary. + +Speug's father was the leading horsedealer of the Scots Midlands, and a +sporting man of established repute, a short, thick-set, red-faced, +loud-voiced, clean-shaven man, with hair cut close to his head, whose +calves and whose manner were the secret admiration of Muirtown. Quiet +citizens of irreproachable respectability and religious orthodoxy +regarded him with a pride which they would never confess; not because +they would have spoken or acted as he did for a king's ransom, and not +because they would have liked to stand in his shoes when he came to +die--considering, as they did, that the future of a horsedealer and an +owner of racing horses was dark in the extreme--but because he was a +perfect specimen of his kind and had made the town of Muirtown to be +known far and wide in sporting circles. Bailie McCallum, for instance, +could have no dealings with McGuffie senior, and would have been +scandalised had he attended the Bailie's kirk; but sitting in his shop +and watching Muirtown life as it passed, the Bailie used to chuckle +after an appreciative fashion at the sight of McGuffie, and to meditate +with much inward satisfaction on stories of McGuffie's exploits--how he +had encountered southern horsedealers and sent them home humbled with +defeat, and had won hopeless races over the length and breadth of the +land. "It's an awfu' trade," McCallum used to remark, "and McGuffie is +no' the man for an elder; but sall, naebody ever got the better o' him +at a bargain." Among the lads of the Seminary he was a local hero, and +on their way home from school they loitered to study him, standing in +the gateway of his stables, straddling his legs, chewing a straw, and +shouting his views on the Muirtown races to friends at the distance of +half a street. When he was in good humour he would nod to the lads and +wink to them with such acuteness and drollery that they attempted to +perform the same feat all the way home and were filled with despair. It +did not matter that we were fed, by careful parents, with books +containing the history of good men who began life with 2_s._ 11_d._, and +died leaving a quarter of a million, made by selling soft goods and +attending church, and with other books relating pathetic anecdotes of +boys who died young and, before they died, delighted society with +observations of the most edifying character on the shortness of life. We +had rather have been a horsedealer and kept a stable. + +Most of us regarded McGuffie senior as a model of all the virtues that +were worthy of a boy's imitation, and his son with undisguised envy, +because he had a father of such undeniable notoriety, because he had the +run of the stables, because he was on terms of easy familiarity with his +father's grooms, and because he was encouraged to do those things which +we were not allowed to do, and never exhorted to do those things which +he hated to do. All the good advice we ever got, and all the examples of +those two excellent young gentlemen, the sons of the Rev. Dr. +Dowbiggin, were blown to the winds when we saw Speug pass, sitting in +the high dogcart beside his father, while that talented man was showing +off to Muirtown a newly broken horse. Speug's position on that seat of +unique dignity was more than human, and none of us would have dared to +recognise him, but it is only just to add that Peter was quite unspoiled +by his privileges, and would wink to his humble friends upon the street +after his most roguish fashion and with a skill which proved him his +father's son. Social pride and the love of exclusive society were not +failings either of Mr. McGuffie senior or of his hopeful son. Both were +willing to fight any person of their own size (or, indeed, much bigger), +as well as to bargain with anybody, and at any time, about anything, +from horses to marbles. + +Mrs. McGuffie had been long dead, and during her lifetime was a woman of +decided character, whom the grooms regarded with more terror than they +did her husband, and whom her husband himself treated with great +respect, a respect which grew into unaffected reverence when he was +returning from a distant horse-race and was detained, by professional +duties, to a late hour in the evening. As her afflicted husband refused +to marry again, in decided terms, Peter, their only child, had been +brought up from an early age among grooms and other people devoted to +the care and study of horses. In this school he received an education +which was perhaps more practical and varied than finished and polite. It +was not to be wondered, therefore, that his manners were simple and +natural to a degree, and that he was never the prey, either in any +ordinary circumstances, of timidity or of modesty. Although a motherless +lad, he was never helpless, and from the first was able to hold his own +and to make his hands keep his head. + +His orphan condition excited the compassion of respectable matrons, but +their efforts to tend him in his loneliness were not always successful, +nor even appreciated to the full by the young McGuffie. When Mrs. +Dowbiggin, who had a deep interest in what was called the "work among +children," and who got her cabs from McGuffie's stable, took pity on +Peter's unprotected childhood, and invited him to play with her boys, +who were a head taller and paragons of excellence, the result was +unfortunate, and afforded Mrs. Dowbiggin the text for many an +exhortation. Peter was brought back to the parental mansion by Dr. +Dowbiggin's beadle within an hour, and received a cordial welcome from a +congregation of grooms, to whom he related his experiences at the Manse +with much detail and agreeable humour. During the brief space at his +disposal he had put every toy of the Dowbiggins' in a thorough state of +repair, and had blacked their innocent faces with burnt cork so that +their mother did not recognise her children. He had also taught them a +negro melody of a very taking description, and had reinforced their +vocabulary with the very cream of the stable. From that day Mrs. +Dowbiggin warned the mothers of Muirtown against allowing their boys to +associate with Speug, and Speug could never see her pass on the street +without an expression of open delight. + +When Mr. McGuffie senior brought his son, being then ten years old, to +the Seminary for admittance, it was a chance that he was not refused and +that we did not miss our future champion. Mr. McGuffie's profession and +reputation were a stumbling-block to the rector, who was a man of +austere countenance and strict habits of life, and Peter himself was a +very odd-looking piece of humanity and had already established his own +record. He was under-sized and of exceptional breadth, almost flat in +countenance, and with beady black eyes which on occasion lit up his face +as when one illuminates the front of a house, but the occasions were +rarely those which would commend themselves to the headmaster of a +public school. How the dealer in horses removed the rector's +difficulties was never accurately known, but boys passing the door of +the rector's retiring-room when he was closeted with Mr. McGuffie +overheard scraps of the conversation, and Muirtown was able to +understand the situation. It was understood that in a conflict of words +the rector, an absent-minded scholar of shrinking manner, was not +likely to come off best, and it is certain that the head of the school +ever afterwards referred to Mr. McGuffie as "a man of great resolution +of character and endowed with the gift of forcible speech." As regards +the son, his affectionate father gave him some brief directions before +leaving, and in the presence of his fellow-scholars, of which this only +was overheard, and seemed, indeed, to be the sum and substance: "Never +give in, ye de'il's buckie." With these inspiriting words Mr. McGuffie +senior departed through the front door amid a hush of admiration, +leaving Peter to his fate not far from that "well" which was to be the +scene of many of his future waggeries. + +With the progress of civilisation school life in Scotland has taken on a +high degree of refinement, and rumour has it--but what will people not +say?--that a new boy will come in a cab to the Seminary and will receive +a respectful welcome from the generation following Peter, and that the +whole school will devote itself to his comfort for days--showing him +where to hang his cap, initiating him into games, assisting him with his +lessons, and treating his feelings with delicate respect. It has been my +own proud satisfaction, as a relic of a former barbarian age, to read +the rules, which, I believe, are now printed in black letters with red +capitals and hung in the rooms of Muirtown Seminary. My feelings will +not allow me to give them all, but the following have moved me almost to +tears:-- + +Rule 1.--That every boy attending this school is expected to behave +himself in speech and deed as a gentleman. + +Rule 2.--That anyone writing upon a wall, or in any way marking the +school furniture, will be considered to have committed an offence, and +will be punished. + +Rule 3.--That every boy is exhorted to treat every other with courtesy, +and anyone guilty of rudeness to a fellow-scholar is to be reported to +the headmaster. + +Rule 4.--That it is expected of every boy to cultivate neatness of +appearance, and especially to see that his clothes, collars, cuffs, and +other articles of clothing be not soiled. + +These admirable rules suggest a new atmosphere and one very different +from that in which we passed our stormy youth, for no sentiment of this +kind softened life in earlier days or affected our Spartan simplicity. +The very sight of a newcomer in a speckless suit, with an irreproachable +tie and both tails on his glengarry bonnet, excited a profound emotion +in the school and carried it beyond self-control. What could be expected +of a fellow so bedecked and preserved as if he had just stepped out of a +bandbox or a tailor's shop? Left alone in his pride and perfection--the +very beginning of a Pharisee--he would only go from bad to worse and +come at last to a sad end. We hardly claimed to be philanthropists, but +we did feel it was our duty to rescue this lad. It might be, of course, +that we could not finally save him, but he ought at least to have a +chance, and Speug had a quite peculiar satisfaction in at once removing +the two offensive tails by one vigorous pull, while the rumpling of a +collar was a work of missionary zeal. No system of philanthropy is +successful with all cases, and we had our failures, which we think about +unto this day, and which have only justified our sad predictions. Boys +like the two Dowbiggins never improved, and were at last given up in +despair even by Speug, their tails being renewed day by day and their +faces remaining in all circumstances quite unmoved; but within a month +the average boy had laid aside the last remnant of conventionality, and +was only outdone by Peter himself in studied negligence of attire. + +Peter's own course of discipline was sharp, but it did not last long, +for certain practical reasons. + +"What business have you here, ye son of a horse-couper?" was the +encouraging salutation offered by a solicitor's son to the stumpy little +figure bereft of its father and left to fight its battles alone. + +"Mair business than you, spindleshanks, ye son o' a thievin' lawyer," +and although Peter was four years younger and small for his age, he +showed that he had not learned boxing from his father's grooms without +profit, and his opponent attended no more classes that day. This +encounter excited the deepest interest and revived the whole life of the +school. One lad after another experimented on Peter and made as much of +it as drawing a badger. He was often hurt, but he never uttered any cry. +He gave rather more than he got, and lads going home in the afternoon +could see him giving an account of the studies of the day to an admiring +audience in the stable-yard. By-and-by he was left severely alone, and +for the impudence of him, and his courage, and his endurance, and his +general cockiness, and his extraordinary ingenuity in mischief, he was +called "Speug," which is Scotch for a sparrow, and figuratively +expressed the admiration of the school. + +It would be brazen falsehood to say that Peter was a scholar, or, +indeed, gave any voluntary attention to the course of learning laid down +by the authorities of Muirtown Seminary. He sat unashamed at the foot of +every class, maintaining a certain impenetrable front when a question +came his length, and with the instinct of a chieftain never risking his +position in the school by exposing himself to contempt. When Thomas John +Dowbiggin was distinguishing himself after an unholy fashion by +translating Cæsar into English like unto Macaulay's History, Speug used +to watch him with keen interest, and employ his leisure time in +arranging some little surprise to enliven the even tenor of Thomas +John's life. So curious a being, however, is a boy, and so inconsistent, +that as often as Duncan Robertson answered more promptly than Thomas +John, and obtained the first place, Speug's face lit up with unaffected +delight, and he was even known to smack his lips audibly. When the +rector's back was turned he would convey his satisfaction over Thomas +John's discomfiture with such delightful pantomime that the united class +did him homage, and even Thomas John was shaken out of his equanimity; +but then Duncan Robertson's father was colonel of a Highland regiment, +and Duncan himself was a royal fighter, and had not in his Highland body +the faintest trace of a prig, while Thomas John's face was a standing +reproof of everything that was said and done outside of lesson time in +Muirtown School. + +Peter, however, had his own genius, and for captivating adventures none +was to be compared with him. Was it not Speug who floated down the +tunnel through which a swift running stream of clean water reached the +Tay, and allured six others to follow him, none of whom, happily, were +drowned? and did not the whole school, with the exception of the +Dowbiggins, await his exit at the black mouth of the tunnel and reward +his success with a cheer? Was it not Speug, with Duncan Robertson's +military assistance, who constructed a large earth-work in a pit at the +top of the Meadow, which was called the Redan and was blown up with +gunpowder one Saturday afternoon, seven boys being temporarily buried +beneath the ruins, and Peter himself losing both eyebrows? And when an +old lady living next the school laid a vicious complaint against Speug +and some other genial spirits for having broken one of her windows in a +snowball fight, he made no sign and uttered no threat, but in the +following autumn he was in a position to afford a ripe pear to each boy +in the four upper forms--except the Dowbiggins, who declined +politely--and to distribute a handful for a scramble among the little +boys. There was much curiosity about the source of Peter's generosity, +and it certainly was remarkable that the pear was of the same kind as +the old lady cultivated with much pride, and that her fruit was gathered +for her in the course of one dark night. Speug was capable of anything +except telling a lie. He could swim the Tay at its broadest and almost +at its swiftest, could ride any horse in his father's stable, could +climb any tree in the meadows, and hold his own in every game, from +marbles and "catch the keggie," a game based on smuggling, to football, +where he was a very dangerous forward, and cricket, where his batting +was fearsome for its force and obstinacy. There was nothing he could not +do with his hands, and no one whom he was not ready to face. + +Speug was a very vigorous barbarian indeed, and the exact type of a +turbulent Lowland Scot, without whom the Seminary had missed its life +and colour, and who by sheer force of courage and strength asserted +himself as our chief captain. After many years have passed, Speug stands +out a figure of size and reality from among the Dowbiggins and other +poor fleeting shadows. Thomas John, no doubt, carried off medals, +prizes, certificates of merit, and everything else which could be +obtained in Muirtown Seminary by a lad who played no games and swatted +all evening at next day's work. The town was weary of seeing Thomas John +and his brother--each wearing the same smug expression, and each in +faultlessly neat attire--processing up in turn to receive their honours +from the hands of the Lord Provost, and the town would cheer with +enthusiasm when Duncan Robertson made an occasional appearance, being +glad to escape from the oppression of the Dowbiggin _régime_. Nor was +the town altogether wrong in refusing to appreciate the Dowbiggins at +their own value, and declining to believe that the strength of the +country was after their fashion. When Thomas John reached the University +he did not altogether fulfil the expectations of his family, and by the +time he reached the pulpit no one could endure his unredeemed dulness. +When last I heard of him he was secretary to a blameless society which +has for its object the discovery of the lost Ten Tribes, and it occurs +to me that it would have been a good thing for Thomas John to have been +blown up in the destruction of the Redan: he might have become a man. + +After the Seminary had done its best for Speug he retired upon his +laurels and went to assist his father in the business of horsedealing, +to which he brought an invincible courage and a large experience in +bargaining. For years his old fellow-scholars saw him breaking in young +horses on the roads round Muirtown, and he covered himself with glory in +a steeplechase open to all the riders of Scotland. When Mr. McGuffie +senior was killed by an Irish mare, Peter sold the establishment and +went into foreign parts in search of adventure, reappearing at intervals +of five years from Australia, Texas, the Plate, Cape of Good Hope, +assured and reckless as ever, but always straightforward, masterful, +open-handed, and gallant. His exploits are over now, and all England +read his last, how he sent on in safety a settler's household through a +narrow pass in Matabele Land, and with a handful of troopers held the +savages in check until pursuit was vain. + +"From the account of prisoners we learn," wrote the war correspondent, +"that Captain McGuffie, of the Volunteer Horse, fought on after his men +had been all killed and his last cartridge fired. With his back to a +rock in a narrow place he defended himself with such skill and courage +that the Matabele declared him the best fighting man they had ever met, +and he was found with a mound of dead at his feet." Only last week two +Seminary men were reading that account together and recalling Peter, and +such is the inherent wickedness of human nature, that the death (from +apoplexy) of Thomas John Dowbiggin would have been much less lamented. +"That is just how Speug would have liked to die, for he dearly loved a +fight and knew not fear." They revived the ancient memories of Peter's +boyhood, and read the despatch of the commanding officer, with his +reference to the gallant service of Captain McGuffie, and then they +looked at Peter's likeness in the illustrated papers, the eyes as bold +and mischievous as ever. "Well done, Speug!" said a doctor of +divinity--may he be forgiven!--"well done, Speug, a terrier of the old +Scots breed." + +Peter's one rival in the idolatry of the school was Duncan Ronald +Stewart Robertson, commonly known as Dunc, and Dunc was in everything +except honesty, generosity, and courage, the exact opposite of Peter +McGuffie. Robertson's ancestors had been lairds of Tomnahurich, a moor +in Rannoch, with half a dozen farms, since the Deluge, as they believed, +and certainly since history began. For hundreds of years they had been +warriors, fighting other clans, fighting among themselves, fighting for +Prince Charlie, and for more than a century fighting for England as +officers in the Highland regiments. The present laird had been in the +Crimean war and the Mutiny, besides occasional expeditions, and was +colonel of the Perthshire Buffs. When he came to our examination in full +uniform, having first inspected the local garrison on the meadow, it was +the greatest day in our time. We cheered him when he came in, counting +the medals on his breast, amidst which we failed not to notice the +Victoria Cross. We cheered him in the class-rooms, we cheered him when +he mounted his horse outside and rode along the terrace, and Peter led a +detachment by the back way up to Breadalbane Street to give him one +cheer more. Robertson was a tall, well-knit, athletic lad, with red +hair, blue eyes, and a freckled face, not handsome, but carrying himself +with much dignity and grace. Speug always appeared in tight-fitting +trousers, as became Mr. McGuffie's son, but Robertson wore the kilt and +never looked anything else but a gentleman, yet his kilt was ever of the +shabbiest, and neither had his bonnet any tails. His manners were those +of his blood, but a freer and heartier and more harum-scarum fellow +never lived. It is a pleasant remembrance, after many years, to see +again a group of lads round the big fire in the winter time, and to hear +Duncan Robertson read the stirring ballad, "How Horatius kept the bridge +in the brave days of old," till Peter can contain himself no longer, and +proposes that a select band shall go instantly to McIntyre's Academy and +simply compel a conflict. Dunc went into his father's regiment and fell +at Tel-el-Kebir, and there is one Seminary man at least who keeps the +portraits of the two captains--Peter McGuffie, the Scot, the +horsedealer's son, and a very vulgar varlet indeed, and Duncan +Robertson, the Celt, a well-born man's son, and a gentleman himself from +head to foot--in remembrance of a school which was rough and +old-fashioned, where, indeed, softness and luxury were impossible, but +where men were made who had the heart in them to live and die for their +country. + + + + +BULLDOG + +II + + +The headmaster of a certain great English school is accustomed to +enlarge in private on the secret of boy management, and this is the sum +of his wisdom--Be kind to the boy, and he will despise you; put your +foot on his neck, and he will worship you. This deliverance must, of +course, as its eminent author intends, be read with sense, and with any +modification it must be disappointing to philanthropists, but it is +confirmed by life. Let a master, not very strong in character and +scholarship, lay himself out to be a boy's friend--using affectionate +language, overseeing his health, letting him off impositions, sparing +the rod, and inciting him to general benevolence--and the boy will +respond, without any doubt, but it will be after his own fashion. The +boy will take that master's measure with extraordinary rapidity; he will +call him by some disparaging nickname, with an unholy approximation to +truth; he will concoct tricky questions to detect his ignorance; he will +fling back his benefits with contempt; he will make his life a misery, +and will despise him as long as he lives. Let a man of masculine +character and evident ability set himself to rule and drill boys, +holding no unnecessary converse with them, working them to the height of +their powers, insisting on the work being done, not fearing to punish +with severity, using terrible language on occasion, dealing with every +boy alike without favour or partiality, giving rare praise with +enthusiasm, and refraining always from mocking sarcasm--which boys hate +and never forgive--and he will have his reward. They will rage against +him in groups on the playing-fields and as they go home in companies, +but ever with an intense appreciation of his masterliness; they will +recall with keen enjoyment his detection of sneaks and his severity on +prigs; they will invent a name for him to enshrine his achievements, and +pass it down to the generation following; they will dog his steps on the +street with admiration, all the truer because mingled with awe. And the +very thrashings of such a man will be worth the having, and become the +subject of boasting in after years. + +There was a master once in Muirtown Seminary whose career was short and +inglorious, as well as very disappointing to those who believed in the +goodness of the boy. Mr. Byles explained to Mrs. Dowbiggin his idea of a +schoolmaster's duty, and won the heart of that estimable person, +although the Doctor maintained an instructive silence, and afterwards +hinted to his spouse that Mr. Byles had not quite grasped the boy +nature, at least in Muirtown. + +"Yes, Mrs. Dowbiggin, I have always had a love for boys--for I was the +youngest of our family, and the rest were girls--seven dear girls, +gentle and sweet. They taught me sympathy. And don't you think that +boys, as well as older people, are ruled by kindness and not by force? +When I remember how I was treated, I feel this is how other boys would +wish to be treated. Muffins? Buttered, if you please. I dote on muffins! +So I am a schoolmaster." + +"You are needed at the Seminary, Mr. Byles, I can tell you, for the +place is just a den of savages! Will you believe me, that a boy rolled +James on the ground till he was like a clay cat yesterday--and James is +so particular about being neat!--and when I complained to Mr. MacKinnon, +he laughed in my face and told me that it would do the laddie good? +There's a master for you! Thomas John tells me that he is called +'Bulldog,' and although I don't approve of disrespect, I must say it is +an excellent name for Mr. MacKinnon. And I've often said to the Doctor, +'If the masters are like that, what can you expect of the boys?'" + +"Let us hope, Mrs. Dowbiggin, that there will soon be some improvement; +and it will not be my fault if there isn't. What I want to be is not a +master, but the boys' friend, to whom the boys will feel as to a mother, +to whom they will confide their difficulties and trials," and Mr. Byles' +face had a soft, tender, far-away look. + +It was only for one winter that he carried on his mission, but it +remains a green and delectable memory with old boys of the Seminary. How +he would not use the cane, because it brutalised boys, as he explained, +but kept Peter McGuffie in for an hour, during which time he +remonstrated with Peter for his rude treatment of James Dowbiggin, whom +he had capsized over a form, and how Peter's delighted compatriots +climbed up one by one to the window and viewed him under Mr. Byles' +ministrations with keen delight, while Speug imitated to them by signs +that they would have to pay handsomely for their treat. How he would +come on Jock Howieson going home in a heavy rain, and ostentatiously +refusing even to button his coat, and would insist on affording him the +shelter of an umbrella, to Jock's intense humiliation, who knew that +Peter was following with derisive criticism. How, by way of +conciliation, Mr. Byles would carry sweets in his coat-tail pocket and +offer them at unsuitable times to the leading anarchists, who regarded +this imbecility as the last insult. It is now agreed that Mr. Byles' +sudden resignation was largely due to an engineering feat of Peter's, +who had many outrages to avenge, and succeeded in attaching no less +than three squibs to the good man's desk; but it is likely that an +exhortation from Bulldog, overheard by the delighted school, had its due +effect. + +"Humanity or no humanity, my man, it's no peppermint drops nor pats on +the head that'll rule Muirtown birkies; their fathers were brought up on +the stick, and the stick'll make the sons men. If ye'll take my advice, +Mr. Byles, adverteese for a situation in a lassies' school. Ye're ower +dainty for Muirtown Seminary." + +This was not a charge which his worst enemy could bring against Mr. +Dugald MacKinnon, and because he was the very opposite--a most +unflinching, resolute, iron man--he engraved himself on the hearts of +three generations of Muirtown men. They were a dour, hard-headed, +enterprising lot--a blend from the upland braes of Drumtochty and the +stiff carse of Gowrie and the Celts of Lock Tay, with some good south +country stuff--and there are not many big cities on either side of the +Atlantic where two or three Muirtown men cannot this day be found. They +always carry in their hearts the "Fair City"--which lieth in a basin +among the hills, beside the clean, swift-running river, like a Scots +Florence; and they grow almost eloquent when they start upon their home, +but the terminus of recollection is ever the same. When they have +dallied with the swimming in the Tay, and the climbing of the hill which +looks down on the fair plain as far as Dundee, and the golf on the +meadows, and the mighty snow fights in days where there were men (that +is, boys) in the land, and memory is fairly awake, some one suddenly +says, "Bulldog." "Ah!" cries another, with long-drawn pleasure, as one +tasting a delicate liquor; and "Bulldog," repeats the third, as if a +world of joy lay in the word. They rest for a minute, bracing +themselves, and then conversation really begins, and being excited, they +drop into the Scots tongue. + +"Man," hurries in the first, "a' see him stannin' at his desk in the +mornin' watchin' the laddies comin' in ower the top o' his spectacles, +an' juist considerin' wha wud be the better o' a bit thrashin' that +day." + +"Sax feet high gin he wes an inch," bursts in the second, "an' as +straight as a rush, though a'm thinkin' he wes seventy, or maybe eighty, +some threipit (insisted) he was near ninety; an' the een o' him--div ye +mind, lads, hoo they gied back an' forward in his head--oscillatin' +like? Sall, they were fearsome." + +"An' the rush to get in afore the last stroke o' nine"--the third man +cannot be restrained--"an' the crack o' his cane on the desk an' +'Silence'; man, ye micht hae heard a moose cross the floor at the +prayer." + +"Div ye think he keekit oot atween his eyelids, Jock?" + +"Him? nae fear o't," and Howieson is full of contempt. "Ae day I pit a +peen into that smooth-faced wratch Dowbiggin, juist because I cudna +bear the look o' him; an' if he didna squeal like a stuck pig. Did +Bulldog open his een an' look?" + +The audience has no remembrance of such a humiliating descent. + +"Na, na," resumes Jock, "he didna need; he juist repeated the first +sentence o' the prayer ower again in an awfu' voice, an' aifter it wes +dune, doon he comes to me. 'Whatna prank wes that?'" + +"Wes't nippy?" inquires Bauldie with relish, anticipating the sequel. + +"Michty," replies Jock; "an' next he taks Dowbiggin. 'Who asked you to +join in the prayer?' an' ye cud hae heard his yowls on the street. +Bulldog hed a fine stroke." And the three smoked in silent admiration +for a space. + +"Sandie, div ye mind the sins in the prayer? 'Lord deliver the laddies +before Thee from lying----'" + +"'Cheating,'" breaks in Bauldie. + +"'Cowardice,'" adds Sandie. + +"'And laziness, which are as the devil,'" completes Jock. + +"An' the laist petition, a' likit it fine, 'Be pleased to put common +sense in their heads, and Thy fear in their hearts, and----'" + +"'Give them grace to be honest men all the days of their life,'" chant +the other two together. + +"It wes a purpose-like prayer, an' a' never heard a better, lads; he +walkit up to his words, did Bulldog, an' he did his wark well." And as +they thought of that iron age, the railway president and the big banker +and the corn merchant--for that is what the fellows have come to--smack +their lips with relish and kindly regret. + +It may be disappointing, but it remains a fact, that the human history +of the ages is repeated in the individual, and the natural boy is a +savage, with the aboriginal love of sport, hardy indifference to +circumstances, stoical concealment of feelings, irrepressible passion +for fighting, unfeigned admiration for strength, and slavish respect for +the strong man. By-and-by he will be civilised and Christianised, and +settle down, will become considerate, merciful, peaceable--will be +concerned about his own boys having wet feet, and will preside at +meetings for the prevention of cruelty to animals; but he has to go +through his process of barbarism. During this Red Indian stage a +philanthropist is not the ideal of the boy. His master must have the +qualities of a brigand chief, an autocratic will, a fearless mien, and +an iron hand. On the first symptom of mutiny he must draw a pistol from +his belt (one of twenty), and shoot the audacious rebel dead on the +spot. So perfectly did Bulldog fulfil this ideal that Bauldie, who had +an unholy turn for caricature, once drew him in the costume and arms of +Chipanwhackewa, an Indian chief of prodigious valour and marvellous +exploits. This likeness was passed from hand to hand, to be arrested +and confiscated by its subject when in Jock Howieson's possession, and +although Jock paid the penalty, as was most due, yet it was believed +that Bulldog was much pleased by the tribute, and that he kept the +picture in his desk. + +His achievements in his own field, which extended from the supervision +of handwriting to instruction in mathematics, were sustained and +marvellous. When a boy was committed to his care at or about the age of +eight, before which age he attended a girls' school and fed his +imagination on what was in store for him under Bulldog, the great man +wrote at the head of his copy-book, in full text and something better +than copper-plate, "He that spareth his rod hateth his son." With this +animating sentiment the neophyte made a fearful beginning, and his +master assisted him to transcribe it for years to come through half text +and small text, till he could accomplish it with such delicate +up-strokes and massive down-strokes, such fine curves and calculated +distances, that the writing could hardly be distinguished from the +original, and might be exhibited to the Lord Provost and bailies at the +annual examination. It is said now that no school of any name in the +land would condescend to teach writing, and that boys coming from such +high places can compass their own signatures with difficulty, and are +quite illegible after a gentlemanly fashion; but it was otherwise in one +old grammar school. So famous was the caligraphy produced at the +Seminary that Muirtown bankers, lawyers, and other great personages used +to drop in of an afternoon, and having snuffed with the master, would go +over the copy-books and pick out suitable lads for their offices. And it +is a solemn fact that one enterprising Muirtown clerk went up to London +without a single introduction and obtained a situation in the great firm +of Brancker, Copleston, Goldbeater & Co., on the strength of a letter +and sheet of figures he sent to old Fyler, the manager, whose reason was +giving way under the scrawling of the junior clerks. Bulldog considered +that his pupils' handwriting steadily deteriorated from the day of their +departure. When they came to see him at school from Glasgow, London, and +beyond the sea, as they all did, on their visits to Muirtown, besides +giving them an affectionate welcome, which began at the door and ended +at the desk, he never failed to produce their letters and point out the +decadence in careful detail, while the school rejoiced greatly. + +Any lad who showed some aptitude, or whose father insisted on the higher +education, was allured into geometry and raised to the dignity of the +blackboard, where he did his work in face of the school with fear and +trembling. This was public life, and carried extremes of honour and +disgrace. When Willie Pirie appeared at the board--who is now a +Cambridge don of such awful learning that his juniors, themselves +distinguished persons, can only imagine where he is in pure +mathematics--the school, by tacit permission, suspended operations to +see the performance. As Willie progressed, throwing in an angle here and +a circle there, and utilising half the alphabet for signs, while he +maintained the reasoning from point to point in his high, shrill voice, +Bulldog stood a pace aside, a pointer in one hand and in the other a +cloth with which at a time he would wipe his forehead till it was white +with chalk, and his visage was glorious to behold. When the end came, +Bulldog would seize the word out of Pirie's mouth and shout, "Q. E. D., +Q ... E ... D. Splendid. Did ye follow that, laddies?" taking snuff +profusely, with the cloth under one arm and the pointer under the other. +"William Pirie, ye'll be a wrangler if ye hae grace o' continuance. +Splendid!" + +It was otherwise when Jock Howieson tried to indicate the nature of an +isosceles triangle and confused it with a square, supporting his +artistic efforts with remarks which reduced all the axioms of Euclid to +one general ruin. For a while the master explained and corrected, then +he took refuge in an ominous silence, after which, at each new +development, he played on Jock with the pointer, till Jock, seeing him +make for the cane, modestly withdrew, but did not reach his place of +retreat without assistance and much plain truth. + +"It's a shame to take any fee from your father, Jock Howieson, and it's +little use trying to give ye any education. Ye've the thickest head and +the least sense in all the schule. Man, they should take you home and +set ye on eggs to bring out chickens; ye micht manage that wi' care. The +first three propositions, Jock, before ye leave this room, without a +slip, or _ma certes_!" and Jock understood that if he misused his time +his instructor would make good use of his. + +It was Bulldog's way to promenade the empty schoolroom for ten minutes +before the reassembling at two, and it was rare indeed that a boy should +be late. When one afternoon there were only nineteen present and +forty-three absent, he could only look at Dowbiggin, and when that +exemplary youth explained that the school had gone up to the top of the +Meadow for a bathe, and suggested they were still enjoying themselves, +Bulldog was much lifted. + +"Bathing is a healthy exercise, and excellent for the mind, but it's +necessary to bring a glow to the skin aifterwards, or there micht be a +chill," and he searched out and felt a superior cane kept for the +treatment of truants and other grievous offenders. + +It was exactly 2.15 when the door opened and a procession of forty-two +entered panting and breathless, headed by Dunc Robertson, who carried +his head erect, with a light in his eye, and closed by Peter, whose hair +was like unto that of a drowned rat, and whose unconcealed desire was +for obscurity. The nineteen could only smack their lips with +expectation and indicate by signs the treat awaiting their comrades. + +"I've had chairge of the departments of writing, arithmetic, and +mathematics in the Muirtown Seminary," began Bulldog, "for fifty-five +years laist Martinmas, and near eighteen hundred laddies hae passed +through my hands. Some o' them were gude and some were bad"--Mr. +MacKinnon spoke with a judicial calmness that was awful--"some were yir +grandfathers, some were yir fathers; but such a set of impudent, +brazen-faced little scoundrels----" Then his composure failed him as he +looked at the benches. "What have ye got to say for yirselves, for it +will be three weeks afore I'm over ye all?" + +For a while no one moved, and then Dunc Robertson rose in his place and +made speech for his fellows like a gentleman's son. + +"We are sorry for being late, sir, but it was not our blame; we had been +bathing in the golfers' pool, and were dressing to run down to school in +good time. Little Nestie--I mean Ernest Molyneux, sir--had stayed in a +little longer, and someone cried, 'Nestie's drowning!' and there the +little chap was, being carried away by the current." + +"Is 'Nestie'--drowned?" and they all noticed the break in Bulldog's +voice, and remembered that if he showed indulgence to anyone it was to +the little English lad that had appeared in Muirtown life as one out of +due place. + +"No, sir, Nestie's safe, and some women have taken him home; but he was +very nearly gone," and Dunc was plainly shaken. "He's a good ween man, +and--and it would have been terrible to see him die before our eyes." + +"Who saved Nestie?" Bulldog's face was white, and Jock swore afterwards +the tears were in his eyes--but that we did not believe. + +"It was one of the boys, sir"--Robertson's voice was very proud--"and it +was a gallant deed; but I can't give his name, because he made me +promise not to tell." + +The master looked round the school, and there was a flush on his cheek. + +"John Howieson," with a voice that knew no refusal, and Jock stood in +his place. + +"Give me the laddie's name who savit Nestie." + +"It was Speug, sir, an'--it wes michty; but a' wudna hae telt had ye no +askit, an'--it's no my blame," and Jock cast a deprecatory glance where +Peter was striving to hide himself behind a slate. + +"Peter McGuffie, come out this moment," and Peter, who had obeyed this +order in other circumstances with an immovable countenance, now +presented the face of one who had broken a till. + +"Tell the story, Duncan Robertson, every word of it, that each laddie in +this room may remember it as lang as he lives." + +"We had nearly all dressed, and some of us had started for school ... +and when I got back McGuffie had jumped and was out in the current +waiting for Nestie to come up. We saw his face at last, white on the +water, and shouted to Peter, and ... he had him in a minute, and ... +made for shore; big swimming, sir; not one of us could have done it +except himself. A salmon-fisher showed us how to rub Nestie till he came +round, and ... he smiled to us, and said, 'I'm all right; sorry to +trouble you chaps.' Then we ran down as hard as we could lick, and ... +that's all, sir." + +"Ye're a leear, Duncan Robertson," suddenly broke out Speug, goaded +beyond endurance; "ye helpit oot Nestie yirself, an' ye're ... as muckle +tae blame as me." + +"All I did, sir"--and Robertson's face was burning red--"was to meet +Peter and take Nestie off his hands quite near the bank; he had the +danger; I ... did nothing--was too late, in fact, to be of use." + +Speug might have contested this barefaced attempt at exculpation, but +Bulldog was himself again and gripped the reins of authority. + +"Silence!" and his emotion found vent in thunder; "no arguing in my +presence. You're an impudent fellow, Peter McGuffie, and have been all +your days, the most troublesome, mischievous, upsetting laddie in +Muirtown School," and the culprit's whole mien was that of a dog with a +bad conscience. + +"Ye've fought with your fists, and ye've fought with snowballs; ye've +played truant times without number; and as for your tricks in school, +they're beyond knowledge. And now ye must needs put the capper on the +concern wi' this business! + +"There's no use denying it, Peter, for the evidence is plain"--and now +Bulldog began to speak with great deliberation. "Ye saw a little laddie +out of his depth and likely to be drowned." (Peter dared not lift his +head this time; it was going to be a bad case.) + +"Ye micht have given the alarm and got the salmon-fishers, but, instead +of acting like ony quiet, decent, well-brought-up laddie, and walking +down to the school in time for the geometry" (the school believed that +the master's eye rested on William Dowbiggin), "ye jumped clothes and +all into the Tay." (There was evidently no extenuating feature, and +Peter's expression was hopeless.) + +"Nor was that all. But the wicked speerit that's in ye, Peter McGuffie, +made ye swim out where the river was running strongest and an +able-bodied man wouldna care to go. And what for did ye forget yirsel +and risk yer life?" But for the first time there was no bravery left in +Peter to answer; his wickedness was beyond excuse, as he now felt. + +[Illustration: "PETER DARED NOT LIFT HIS HEAD."] + +"Just to save an orphan laddie frae a watery death. And ye did it, +peter; an' it ... beats a'thing ye've dune since ye came into muirtown +academy? as for you, duncan robertson, ye may say what ye like, but it's +my opinion that ye're no one grain better. Peter got in first, for he's +a perfect genius for mischief--he's aye on the spot--but ye were after +him as soon as ye could--you're art and part, baith o' ye, in the +exploit." it was clear now that dunc was in the same condemnation and +would share the same reward; whereat peter's heart was lifted, for +robertson's treachery cried to heaven for judgment. + +"Boys of Muirtown, do you see those tablets?"--and Bulldog pointed to +the lists in gold of the former pupils who had distinguished themselves +over the world--prizemen, soldiers, travellers, writers, preachers, +lawyers, doctors. "It's a grand roll, and an honour to have a place in +it, and there are two new names to be added. + +"Laddies"--and Bulldog came down from his desk and stood opposite the +culprits, whose one wish was that the floor might open beneath them and +swallow them up--"you are the sons of men, and I knew you had the +beginnings of men in you. I am proud ... to shake hands with you, and to +be ... your master. Be off this instant, run like mad to yir homes and +change yir clothes, and be back inside half an hour, or it will be the +worse for ye! And, look ye here, I would like to know ... how Nestie +is." + +His walk through the room was always full of majesty, but on that day it +passed imagination, and from time to time he could be heard in a +soliloquy, "A pair of young rascals! Men of their hands, though, men of +their hands! Their fathers' sons! Well done, Peter!" To which the +benches listened with awe, for never had they known Bulldog after this +fashion. + +When the school assembled next Monday morning the boys read in fresh, +shining letters-- + +"Peter McGuffie and Duncan R. S. Robertson, who at the risk of their own +lives saved a schoolfellow from drowning." + +It stood before the school, so that all could see; but if anyone dared +to make a sign in that direction as he passed Speug's desk, his life was +not worth living for seven days, and it was felt that Speug never +completely recovered from the moral disgrace of that day. + + + + +NESTIE + +III + + +It was understood that Nestie's mother was dead and that his father was +the Baptist minister of Muirtown--a denomination whose adherents were +few and whose practices were vaguely associated with the mill lade--and +for two years before he appeared at school Nestie and his father were +quite familiar to the boys. Nestie began his education at a ladies' +school, not far from the Seminary, where he was much petted by the big +girls, and his father could be seen waiting for him every afternoon at +dismissal time. A gentle, timid little man, apt to blush on being spoken +to, with a hesitating speech and a suggestion of lasting sorrow in his +eyes, Mr. Molyneux would sooner have faced a cannon than Miss Letitia +MacMuldrow's bevy of young women, and it was a simple fact that when, +meditating his sermon one day in the North Meadow, he flopped into their +midst and his son insisted on introducing him to the boarders and to +Miss Letitia, the poor man went home to bed and left the pulpit next +Sunday to an amateur exhorter. His plan of campaign was to arrive on +the opposite side of the terrace about a quarter to three, and, as the +hour drew near, reconnoitre the door from behind a clump of bushes at +the foot of the garden. Nestie usually made his appearance with a +bodyguard of maidens, who kissed him shamelessly, and then, catching +sight of the anxious face peeping through the laburnums, he would dash +down the walk and, giving his slaves a last wave, disappear round the +corner. The minister used to take a hasty survey lest they should become +a sport to the barbarians in a land where for a father to kiss his boy +was synonymous with mental incapacity, and then--it was a cat of a girl +who oversaw the meeting--they hugged one another for the space of a +whole minute, in which time it is wonderful what can be done if your +heart is in it and your hat is allowed to go without care. Had a +Seminary boy seen the sight--but the savages were caged at that +hour--his feet would have been glued to the ground with amazement, and +he had gone away full of silent gratitude that Providence had cast his +lot north of the Tweed; but of course he had not reckoned that the +father and son had been separated for, say, six whole hours--or +almost--and it was necessary to re-establish relations. When this had +been done satisfactorily the two crossed a wooden bridge into the Meadow +arm-in-arm--Mr. Molyneux unconsciously wearing his hat with a rakish air +on the side of his head. Between this hour and sunset was their +pleasure in the summer time, and the things they did were varied and +remarkable. Sometimes they would disappear into the woods above +Muirtown, and return home very dirty, very tired, very happy, laden with +wild flowers and dank, earthy roots, which they planted in their tiny +garden and watered together with tender solicitude. Other times they +played what was supposed to be golf over a course of their own selection +and creation at the top of the Meadow, and if by any chance the minister +got a ball into a hole, then Nestie danced for a space and the minister +apologised for his insolent success. Times there were--warm, summer +days--when the minister would bring a book with him and read to Nestie +as they lay in a grassy hollow together. And on these days they would +fall a-talking, and it would end in a photograph being taken from a +case, and after they had studied it together, both would kiss the face, +which was as if Nestie had kissed himself. Regular frequenters of the +North Meadow began to take an interest in the pair, so that the golfers +would cry "Fore" in quite a kindly tone when they got in the way of the +balls, and one day old Peter Peebles, the chief of the salmon-fishers +and a man of rosy countenance, rowed them up to Woody Island, and then +allowed the boat to drop down with the tide past the North Meadow and +beneath the two bridges, and landed them at the South Meadow, refusing +all recompense with fierce words. Motherly old ladies whose families +were off their hands, and who took in the situation at a glance, used to +engage Mr. Molyneux in conversation in order to warn him about Nestie's +flannels and the necessity of avoiding damp at nightfall. And many who +never spoke to them, and would have repudiated the idea of sentiment +with scorn, had a tender heart and a sense of the tears of things as the +pair, strange and lonely, yet contented and happy, passed them in the +evening. + +When the time came that Nestie had to leave Miss Letitia's, his father +began to hang round the Seminary taking observations, and his heart was +heavy within him. After he had watched a scrimmage at football--a dozen +of the aboriginal savages fighting together in a heap, a mass of legs, +arms, heads--and been hustled across the terrace in a rush of Russians +and English, from which he emerged without his hat, umbrella, or book, +and after he had been eyewitness of an encounter between Jock Howieson +and Bauldie over a misunderstanding in marbles, he offered to teach +Nestie at home. + +"Those Scotch boys are very ... h-healthy, Nestie, and I am not sure +whether you are quite ... fit for their ... habits. There is a master, +too, called ... Bulldog, and I am afraid----" and Mr. Molyneux looked +wistfully at his boy. + +"Why, pater, you are very n-naughty, and don't d-deserve two lumps of +sugar," for ever since they were alone he had taken his mother's place +and poured out the tea. "Do you think I am a coward? A boy must learn to +play games, you know, and they won't be hard on a little chap at first. +I'll soon learn f-football and ... the other things. I can play golf a +little now. Didn't you tell me, pater, that mother was as bwave as ... a +s-soldier?" + +"Of course she was, Nestie," and Mr. Molyneux fell into the innocent +little snare. "If you had only seen the pony your mother used to ride on +her father's farm in Essex, where I saw her first! Do you know, nobody +could ride 'Gypsy' except its mistress. It r-reared and ... k-kicked, +Nestie"--the little man spoke with awe--"and once ran away; but your +mother could always manage it. She looked so handsome on 'Gypsy'; and +you have her spirit. I'm very ... t-timid." + +"No, you aren't, not one little bit, pater, if there's real d-danger." +Nestie was now on his father's knee, with a hand round his neck. "Who +faced the cow on the meadows when she was charging, and the nurse had +left the child, eh? Now, pater, tell the truth." + +"That was because ... the poor little man would have been killed ... +anyone would have d-done that, and ... I d-did not think what I was +d-doing...." + +"Yes, I know," and Nestie mocked his father shamefully, even unto his +face; "and everybody read in the paper how the child wasn't near the +cow, and the cow was quite nice and well-behaved, and you ... ran away; +for shame, now! + +"Did you go to the people that had the dip ... dip ... in the throat, or +not?--that's a word I can't manage yet, but I heard Miss Leti-titia and +the girls say you were like the soldiers 'at got the Vic--Victoria +Cwoss." + +"That's d-different, Nestie; that's my d-duty." + +"Well, it's my d-duty to go to the S-Seminary, pater;" and so he went. + +"What's your name?" Nestie was standing in the centre of the large +entrance hall where his father had left him, a neat, slim little figure +in an Eton suit and straw hat, and the walls were lined by big lads in +kilts, knickers, tweed suits, and tailless Highland bonnets in various +stages of roughness and decay. + +"Ernest Molyneux, and for short, Nestie," and he looked round with a +bright little smile, although inwardly very nervous. + +"Moly-havers," retorted Cosh, who had a vague sense that Nestie, with +his finished little manner, his English accent, his unusual dress, and +his high-sounding name, was an offence to the Seminary. "Get yir hat oot +o' there," and Cosh sent Ernest's straw skimming into the forbidden +"well." + +Molyneux's face turned crimson, for he had inherited the temper which +mistressed "Gypsy," and boys who remembered Speug's first exploit +expected to see the newcomer spring at Cosh's face. + +"You mean that for f-fun, I s'pose," he said an instant later, and he +recovered his hat very neatly. "I can leap a little, you know, not +m-much yet," and again he smiled round the ring. + +Nothing quite like this had happened before in the Seminary, and there +was a pause in the proceedings, which was the salvation of Nestie, and +far more of Peter McGuffie. He had been arrested by the first sight of +Nestie and had been considering the whole situation in silence. Peter +had a sudden inspiration. + +"Did ye say Nestie?" inquired Speug, with an almost kindly accent, +moving a little forward as for purposes of identification. + +"My pater calls me that, and ... others did, but perhaps you would like +to say Molyneux. What is your name?" + +"We 'ill call ye 'Nestie'; it's no an ill word, an' it runs on the +tongue. Ma name is Peter McGuffie, or Speug, an' gin onybody meddle wi' +ye gie's a cry." And to show the celerity of his assistance Peter sent +the remains of Cosh's bonnet into the "well" just as Bulldog came down +to his room. + +"Bulldog's in," as that estimable man identified the owner of the bonnet +and passed on to his class-room. "In aifter him, an' gie yir name, afore +the schule comes." + +"Will you come with me, P-Peter?" and that worthy followed him +mechanically, while the school held their breath; "it would be kind of +you to intwodoosh--it's a little difficult that word--me to the +master." + +"What's the meaning of this?" demanded Bulldog at the sight of the two, +for speech was paralysed in Speug and he was aghast at his own audacity. + +"A new laddie ... ca'ed Molly, Mol ... a' canna mind it ... Nestie ... +he dinna know the way...." And Speug broke down and cast a despairing +look at the cane. + +"Peter pwotected me from the other boys, who were making fun of me, and +I asked him to bwing me in to you, sir; he was very p-polite." + +"Was he?" said Bulldog, regarding Speug's confusion with unconcealed +delight; "that is quite his public character in this school, and there's +nobody better known. My advice"--here Bulldog stopped, and looked from +Speug to Nestie as one who was about to say something and had changed +his mind--"is to ... be friends with Peter." + +So when the school took their places Nestie was seated next to Speug, +and it was understood in a week that Nestie was ready to take his fair +share in any honest fun that was going, but that if one of the baser +sort tried to play the blackguard with Nestie, he had to balance +accounts with Speug, and that the last farthing would be faithfully +exacted. + +As Nestie had at once settled in his mind that Speug was a young +gentleman of high conduct and excellent manners--and Nestie, with all +his sweetness, was as obstinate as a mule--nothing remained for Speug +but to act as far as he could up to his new character. With this example +of diligence by his side, he was roused to such exertion that he emerged +from long division and plunged into the rule of three, while Nestie +marvelled at his accomplishments--"for I'm not a clever chap like you, +P-Peter." Speug had also accumulated a considerable collection of pencil +sketches, mostly his own, in which life at Muirtown Seminary was treated +very broadly indeed, and as he judged this portfolio unlikely to be +appreciated by Nestie, and began himself to have some scruple in having +his own name connected with it, it was consigned to the flames, and any +offer of an addition, which boys made to Speug as a connoisseur in +Rabelaisean art, was taken as a ground of offence. His personal habits +had been negligent to a fault, and Nestie was absurdly careful about his +hands, so Peter was reduced to many little observances he had +overlooked, and would indeed have exposed himself to scathing criticism +had it not been that his sense of humour was limited and, so far as it +went, of a markedly practical turn. + +As Nestie never ceased to exalt this paladin of chivalry, and all the +virtues which he had discovered at school, Mr. Molyneux hungered to see +him, and so Speug was invited to tea on a Saturday evening--an +invitation he accepted with secret pride and outward confusion of face. +All the time which could be saved that day from the sermons was devoted +by Mr. Molyneux and his son to the commissariat, and it was pretty to +see the Molyneuxs going from shop to shop collecting the feast. With +much cunning Nestie had drawn from Speug that fried sausages (pork) with +mashed potatoes, followed up by jam tarts and crowned with (raisin) +cake, was a meal to live for, and all this they had, with shortbread and +marmalade, thrown in as relishes. When Nestie was not watching at the +upper window for Peter's coming he was gloating over the table, and +pater, putting last touches to his exposure of Infant Baptism, ran out +and in to see that nothing had been forgotten, for they did not give +many feasts, and this was one of gratitude. Peter was late, because he +had gathered his whole establishment to dress him, including the old +groom, who wished him to go in corduroy breeches and top boots, and +Speug was polished to the extent of shining. He was also so modest that +he would not speak, nor even look, and when Nestie began to discourse on +his goodness he cast glances at the door and perspired visibly, on which +occasions he wiped his forehead with a large red handkerchief. Amid all +his experiences on land and water, on horseback and among boys--_i. e._, +savages--he had never yet been exalted as a hero and a philanthropist, +and he felt uncomfortable in his clothes. He was induced, however, to +trifle with the tea, and in the end did very fairly, regaining his +native composure so far as to describe a new horse his father had +bought, and the diabolical wickedness of the tame fox at the stables. +Afterwards Nestie took Speug to his room and showed him his various +treasures--a writing-desk with a secret drawer; _The Sandalwood Traders_ +by Ballantyne; a box of real tools, with nails and tacks complete; and +then he uncovered something hidden in a case, whereat Speug was utterly +astonished. + +"Yes, it's a watch; my mother left it to me, and some day I'll wear it, +you know; your mother's g-gone, too, Peter, isn't she?" + +"Aye," replied Peter, "but a' dinna mind o' her." And then, anxious to +change the subject, he produced a new knife with six blades. Before +leaving he promised to give Nestie a pair of rabbits, and to guide him +in their upbringing after a proper fashion. Without having ventured into +the field of sentiment, there is no doubt Peter had carried himself in a +way to satisfy Mr. Molyneux, and he himself gave such an account of the +tea to Mr. McGuffie senior, that night, that the horsedealer, although +not given to Pharisaical observance of the Sabbath, attended the little +Baptist chapel next day in state, sleeping through the sermon, but +putting five shillings in the plate, while Peter, sitting most demurely +at his father's side, identified two of his enemies of McIntyre's +Academy and turned various things over in his mind. + +If anyone, however, supposed that the spirit had gone out of Peter +through his friendship with Nestie, he erred greatly, and this Robert +Cosh learned to his cost. What possessed him no one could guess, and +very likely he did not know himself, but he must needs waylay Nestie in +Breadalbane Street one day after schooltime and speak opprobriously to +him, finishing up-- + +"Awa' wi' ye; yir father's a meeserable yammering (stammering) dookie +(Baptist) minister." + +"My father's one of the best men living"--Nestie was in an honourable +temper--"and you are an ill-bred c-cad." + +Poor Nestie would have been half-killed before Cosh had done with him +had not Speug arrived on the scene, having been in the gundy (candy) +shop not far off, and then there were circumstances. Cosh had a poor +chance at any time with Peter, but now that worthy's arm was nerved with +fierce indignation, and Nestie had to beg for mercy for Cosh, whose +appearance on arriving home was remarkable. His story was even more so, +and was indeed so affecting, not to say picturesque, that Bailie Cosh +came into Bulldog's room with his son two days afterwards to settle +matters. + +"A' called, Maister MacKinnon," he said, in tones charged with dignity, +"to explain the cause of my son Robert's absence; he was in bed with a +poultice on his face twenty-four hours, an' he'll no be himself for +days." + +[Illustration: "'YOU ARE AN ILL-BRED C-CAD.'"] + +"He is no in condeetion to lose time wi' his lessons, a' can tell ye, +Bailie; ye're richt to bring him back as sune as ye could; was't +toothache?" + +"No, it wasna toothache, but the ill-usage o' one of your scholars, the +maist impudent, ill-doing, aggravating scoondrel in Muirtown." + +"Peter McGuffie, come out here," which showed Bulldog's practical +acquaintance with affairs. "Did ye give Robert Cosh a licking?" + +No answer from Speug, but a look of satisfaction that was beyond all +evidence. + +"Was that just yir natural iniquity, Peter, or had ye a justification?" + +Dogged silence of Speug, whose code of honour had one article at +least--never to tell on a fellow. + +"Please, sir, may I speak?" cried Nestie, as he saw the preparations for +Peter's punishment and could not contain himself. + +"Were you in this job, too, Nestie? You didn't tell me that there were +two at puir Robert, Bailie; if Nestie got his hand on your son, he's sic +a veeciously inclined character that it's a wonder Robert's leevin.' + +"Now, Bailie, we'll conduct a judeecial investigation. Robert Cosh, what +have ye to say? Speak up like a man, an' I'll see justice done ye, be +sure o' that; but mind ye, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but +the truth." + +Robert Cosh declined to contribute even the smallest morsel of truth in +any shape or form, and, in spite of strong encouragement from the +magistrate, preserved an impenetrable silence. + +"This," said Bulldog, with a shrewd glance, "is mair than ordinary +modesty; we 'ill take another witness. Ernest Molyneux, what have ye got +to say?" + +"Cosh called my father names, and ... I lost my t-temper, and ... and +... I said things ... the pater's ill, sir, so I ... and Cosh stwuck me +once or twice--but I don't mind that; only Peter, you see, sir, wanted +to help me. I'm afraid he h-hurtit Cosh, but that was how it happened." + +"Stand beside Nestie, Cosh ... so; half a head taller and much broader +and four years older. Ye called his father names, and then cut his lip +when he answered. Just so. There are some pretty little scratches on yir +own face. That would be Peter. Well, Bailie, the case is pretty plain, +and we 'ill go to judgment. + +"Ernest Molyneux, yir father's a good man, and it does not matter two +brass peens what Robert Cosh says about him, and ye're no an +ill-disposed laddie yersel.' Ye may go to your seat. + +"Peter McGuffie, ye're aye meddlin' wi' what doesna concern ye, and ye +seem to think that Providence gave Nestie into yir chairge. One day ye +pull him oot o' the river, and anither ye take him oot o' the hands o' +Robert Cosh. But ye've done your wark sae neatly this time that I havena +the heart to thrash ye. Ye may go to your seat, too; and, Peter, ma +man, just one word of advice. Yir head is thick, but yir heart is richt; +see that ye always use yir fists as well as ye did that day. + +"Robert Cosh, ye've had a fair trial, and ye have been convicted of +three heinous sins. First, ye miscalled a good man--for that three +strokes with the cane; next, ye ill-used the quietest laddie in the +whole school--for that three strokes; and, lastly, being moved of the +devil, ye went home and told lies to a magistrate--for that six strokes. +Three on each hand to-day and to-morrow will just settle the count. +Right hand first." + +"Mr. MacKinnon, I protest...." + +"What?" and Bulldog turned on the magistrate; "would ye interfere with +the course o' justice in another man's jureesdiction, and you a +magistrate?" And Bulldog's eyes began to rotate in a fearsome manner. + +The Bailie allowed it to be understood that he had changed his mind, and +Robert, who had expected great things from the magistrate's protection, +abandoned himself to despair and walked humbly for many days to come. + +Next day Nestie was not in his place, and Bulldog, growing uneasy, +called on his way home. + +"Aye, aye," and the landlady's voice sank into the minor key of Scots +sympathy, "Maister Mollynoox (for such an outlandish name was ever a +trial) is far through wi't; the doctor says he never had much to come +an' go on, and noo this whup o' inflammation is the feenish. + +"The doctor doesna expect him to see mornin', an' he's verra sober +(weak); but his head's clear, an' the laddie's wi' him. Ma hert is wae +(sorry) for him, for the twa hev been that bund up thegither that a'm +dootin' Nestie 'ill never get ower the pairtin'." + +The gentle little minister was not far from his end, and Nestie was +nursing him as best he could. He sponged his father's face--threatening +to let the soap get into his eyes if he were not obedient--and dried it +with a soft towel; then he brushed the soft, thin brown hair slowly and +caressingly, as he had often done on Sundays when his father was weary. +Turning round, he saw Bulldog, and instead of being afraid, Nestie +smiled a pathetic welcome, which showed either what a poor actor the +master was, with all his canings, or that his English scholar was a very +shrewd little man. + +"Th-thank you f-for coming to see father, sir; he was n-naughty and got +cold, and he has been so ill; but he must get better, for you know there +are ... just the two of us, and ... I would be ... lonely without the +pater." + +"Nestie does not wish to part with me, Mr. MacKinnon, for we h-have been +... dear friends, that's how it was, and we loved ... mother; but he is +a ... brave little man, as you know, and mother and I will not forget +him ... you came to ask for Nestie, and it was God's will, for I h-have +a f-favour to ask of you." + +Bulldog went over and sat down by the bed, but said nothing. Only he +took the minister's hand in his and waited. He also put his other arm +round Nestie, and never did he look fiercer. + +"I have no relatives, and his m-mother's family are all dead; there is +nobody to be g-guardian to Nestie, and he cannot live alone. C-could you +get some family who would be ... where he might be at ... h-home? + +"You know we are not rich, but we've s-saved a little, for Nestie is a +famous little house-k-keeper; and maybe there's enough to keep him ... +till he grows big; and I'll give you the receipt at the bank, and you'll +... manage for him, won't you?" + +Bulldog cleared his throat to speak, but could not find his voice--for a +wonder, but his hand tightened on the minister's, and he drew Nestie +nearer to him. + +"Of course, Mr. MacKinnon, I know that we have no c-claim on you, for we +are strangers in Muirtown, and you ... have many boys. But you've been +kind to Nestie, and he ... loves you." + +The minister stopped, breathless, and closed his eyes. + +"Mr. Molyneux," began Bulldog in a stern voice, "I'm willing to manage +Nestie's estate, big or small, and I'll give an account of all +intromissions to the Court, but I must decline to look out a home for +Nestie. + +"Nestie and me" (bad grammar has its uses, and some of them are very +comforting) "are good freends. My house has just an auld schoolmaster +and an housekeeper in it, and whiles we would like to hear a young +voice." + +Bulldog paused and then went on, his voice sterner than ever--in sound. + +"Now Bell's bark is worse than her bite, and maybe so is mine (Nestie +nodded), so if the wee man wouldna be feared to live wi' ... +Bulldog--oh, I know fine what the rascals call me--he 'ill have a heart +welcome, and ... I'll answer to ye baith, father and mother, for yir +laddie at the Day o' Judgment." + +"'What shall I render ... unto the Lord ... for all His benefits?' I +cannot thank you ... (the minister was now very weak); but you will not +... miss your reward. May the God of the orphan.... Kiss me, Nestie." + +For a short while he slept, and they watched for any sign of +consciousness. + +"It was too soon"--he was speaking, but not to them--"for Nestie ... to +come, Maud; he must stay ... at school. He is a good boy, and ... his +master will ... take care of him ... Nestie will grow to be a man, +dear." + +The minister was nearing the other side, and seeing the face he loved +and had lost awhile. + +"It's mother," whispered Nestie, and a minute later he was weeping +bitterly and clinging with all his might to the schoolmaster, who came +perilously near to tears himself. + +"They're together now, and ... I'll be father and mother to ye, Nestie," +said Mr. Dugald MacKinnon, master of mathematics in Muirtown Seminary, +and known as Bulldog to three generations of Muirtown lads. + + + + +A FAMOUS VICTORY + +IV + + +The Seminary perfectly understood that, besides our two chief enemies, +the "Pennies" and McIntyres, there were, in the holes and corners of the +town, obscure schools where little companies of boys got some kind of +education and were not quite devoid of proper spirit. During a really +respectable snow-storm--which lasted for a month and gave us an +opportunity of bringing affairs to a temporary settlement with our +rivals, so that the town of Muirtown was our own for the next seven +days--a scouting party from the Seminary in search of adventures had an +encounter with a Free Kirk school, which was much enjoyed and spoken +about for weeks beside the big fire. Speug began, indeed, to lay out a +permanent campaign by which the boys going home southwards could look in +from time to time on the Free Kirkers, and he indicated his willingness +to take charge of the operation. It was also said that an Episcopal or +Papist school--we made no subtile direct distinctions at the +Seminary--in the northern district might afford some sport, and the +leadership in this case was to be left to Duncan Robertson, the other +captain of the commonwealth. Snow did not last the whole year round even +in a Scots town; but it was wonderful what could be done in summer by +the use of book-bags, well stuffed out with Cæsar and Lennie's English +Grammar, and at the worst there always remained our fists. The pleasure +of planning these forays is still a grateful recollection, for it seemed +to us that by spreading our forces we might have perpetual warfare from +January to December and over the length and breadth of the town, so that +no one would be compelled to return to his home of an evening without +the hope of a battle, and every street of the town would be +distinguished by conflict. Nothing came, however, of those spirited +enterprises that year, because our two rivals, laying aside their mutual +quarrels, which, we understood, were very bitter, and entering +into a covenant of falsehood--their lying filled us with holy +indignation--attacked us front and rear while we were having an innocent +game of Russians and English on the North Meadow. Although taken +unawares and poorly provided with weapons we made a good fight; but in +the end we were scattered so completely that Speug never reached the +school again that day, for which he was thrashed by Bulldog next +morning, and Dunc came in with a front tooth gone and one black eye, +for which he was soundly thrashed at once. + +During all that summer we denounced the amazing meanness of the other +side, and turned over plans for splitting the alliance, so that we might +deal with each power separately and finally. Speug even conducted a +negotiation--watchfully and across the street, for the treachery of the +other side was beyond description--and tried to come to terms with the +representative of our least hated opponent. He even thought, and Peter +was not guileless, that he had secured their neutrality, when they +suddenly burst forth into opprobrious language, being a very vulgar +school indeed, and exposed Peter's designs openly. His feelings were not +much hurt by the talk, in which, indeed, he scored an easy victory after +he had abandoned negotiation and had settled down to vituperation, but +Seminary boys whose homeward route took them past the hostile +territories had to be careful all that summer. It was, indeed, a time of +bitter humiliation to the premier school of Muirtown, and might have +finally broken its spirit had it not have been for the historical battle +in the beginning of November, when McGuffie and Robertson led us to +victory, and the power of the allies was smashed for years. So great, +indeed, was their defeat that in early spring Peter has been known to +withdraw himself from marbles in the height of the season and of his own +personal profit, for the simple purpose of promenading through the +enemies' sphere of influence alone and flinging words of gross insult in +at their gates. + +One of the schools must have been a charity for the education of poor +lads, since it was known to us as the "Penny School," and it was a +familiar cry ringing through the yard of the Seminary, "The Pennies are +coming!" when we promptly turned out to give them the welcome which, to +do them justice, they ardently desired. Whether this was a penny a week +or a penny a month we did not know, or whether, indeed, they paid a +penny at all, but it pleased us to give this name, and it soon passed +beyond the stage of correction. Our enemies came at last to wear it +proudly, like many other people who have been called by nicknames and +turned the nickname into an honour, for they would follow up a +particularly telling snowball with the cry, "There's a penny for ye!" +They were sturdy varlets, quite indifferent as to boots and stockings, +and equally so as to blows. Through their very regardlessness the +Pennies would have been apt to rout the Seminary--whose boys had given +pledges to respectability, and who had to answer searching questions as +to their personal appearance every evening--had it not been for +stalwarts like McGuffie, whose father, being a horsedealer, did not +apply an over strict standard of judgment to his son's manners or +exploits, and Robertson, who lived in lodgings and, being a soldier's +son, was supposed to be in a state of discipline for the Army. + +Our feeling towards the Pennies was hardly cordial, but it was as +nothing to our hatred of McIntyre's school, which called itself an +academy, and had a Latin master and held examinations and affected +social equality with the Seminary. Everyone knew that the Seminary had +existed in the time of Queen Mary, and some said went back to the days +of William Wallace, although we had some doubts as to whether the +present building was then in existence. Everyone also knew that +McIntyre's whole concern belonged to himself, and that he collected the +fees in every class on Friday morning, that he took home what was over +after paying his assistants, and that butcher meat for the McIntyre +family next week depended on the result. McIntyre drew his supplies from +the small tradesmen, and a Seminary lad, going in to get a new pair of +boots at Meiklewham's would have a fine sense of pride in being measured +by an old opponent whose face had often looked out on him from the mist +of battle. This pretentious and windy institution even attempted the +absurdity of a yearly prizegiving, when, instead of the Provost sitting +in state and glaring before him with a Horace in his hands upside down, +McIntyre's minister would hold forth on diligence and tidiness and +courtesy and such like contemptible virtues. Had a Seminary boy been +offered the painful choice, he would almost as soon have gone to the +Pennies as to McIntyre, for in that case he had not been an impostor and +a fraud. + +For a week the weather had been hovering on frost, and on Wednesday +afternoon the snow began to fall with that quiet and steady downpour +which means a lasting storm. Speug went home in great spirits, declaring +to an admiring circle of junior boys that if Providence were kind and +the snow continued there would be something worth living for at the +dinner hour on Friday. As the snowball war was a serious affair, and was +conducted after a scientific fashion, it never commenced until there was +a good body of snow upon the ground and pure snow could be gathered up +without earth and stones. The unpardonable sin of our warfare was +slipping a stone into a snowball: this was the same as poisoning the +wells, and the miscreant who perpetrated this crime was cast out from +every school. There was a general understanding between parties that the +mercies were not to be wasted, and that the schools were to refrain +themselves until there was a fair and lasting supply of ammunition. It +was still snowing on Thursday morning, and there were some who said that +war might now be declared; and Jock Howieson, ever a daring and rash +spirit, declared we should repent it if we were not ready against one +o'clock. Speug and Dunc were however of opinion that nothing was likely +to take place that day except desultory skirmishes, and that the whole +day ought to be spent in accumulating a store of snowballs against +Friday, when there was no question that we should have to face the +united schools in a decisive battle. This was the only instance where +our captains ever made a mistake, and they atoned for their error of +judgment by the valour and skill with which they retrieved what seemed a +hopeless defeat. + +As the hours wore on to one o'clock Speug could be seen glancing +anxiously out at the window, and he secured an opportunity with Dunc for +a hasty conference during the geometry lesson. About a quarter to one he +turned from his slate and cocked his ear, and in two minutes afterwards +every boy in Bulldog's class-room understood that the war had begun and +that we had been taken by surprise. Scouts from McIntyre's, as we +afterwards learned, had risked the danger of playing truant, which in a +school like theirs cost nothing, and had visited our playground. They +had carried back news that we were not yet prepared for battle, and our +firm opinion was that the authorities of Penny's and McIntyre's had +allowed their schools out at half-past twelve, in order to take us at a +disadvantage. Before the bell rang and the senior classes were dismissed +the Seminary knew that our enemies had seized the field of battle, but +we did not know until we came out the extent of the disaster. + +The Pennies had come down the back street and had established +themselves opposite the narrow entrance between two sheds through which +three only could walk abreast from our playground to the street. They +had also sent a daring body of their lighter and more agile lads to the +top of the sheds which separated our playground from the street, and +they had conveyed down an enormous store of ammunition, so that the +courtyard was absolutely at their mercy, and anyone emerging from the +corridor was received with a shower of well-made and hard snowballs +against which there was no standing. Even if we ran this risk and +crossed the open space we could then be raked by the fire from the shed, +and a charge through the narrow passage to the street would be in the +last degree hazardous. There were twelve feet of passage, and there were +not many who would care to face a stream of snowballs driven by the +vigorous hands of the Pennies down this passage as through a pipe. +Instead of meeting our enemies on the street, we had been penned up +within our own school. McIntyre's had come down the terrace and seized +an excellent position behind two Russian guns which stood opposite our +school and about twenty feet from our front entrance. They had made +these guns into a kind of fort, from behind whose shelter, reinforced by +a slight barricade of jackets, they commanded our entrance, and had +driven in the first boys who emerged, in hopeless discomfiture. It came +upon us that we had been shut up back and front, and shut up with the +poorest supply of snowballs and very little snow with which to repair +our resources. + +[Illustration: "SEIZED AN EXCELLENT POSITION BEHIND TWO RUSSIAN GUNS."] + +While the younger boys raged and stormed in the safety of the corridors, +Dunc and Speug retired for consultation. In two minutes they came out +and gave their orders to the mass of boys gathered together round the +"well" and in the "well," and on the stairs and along the corridors. It +was at this moment that Nestie Molyneux obtained a name which he covered +with glory before the close of the day. As he had no class between +twelve and one, he had been observing events, and with the aid of two or +three other little boys had done what he could to repair the neglect of +yesterday. In spite of a rain of snowballs he had availed himself of a +sheltered corner in the playground and had worked without ceasing at the +preparation of the balls. Every ball as it was made was dipped into a +pail of water and then, half frozen, was laid in a corner where it was +soon frozen altogether. "There'll be the feck o' two hundred balls +ready. Ma certes! Nestie has a head on his shoulders. Now," said Speug, +speaking from halfway up the stair, "we'll start with thae balls for a +beginnin', and wi' them we'll fecht our way out to the open. As soon as +we've cleared the background every ane o' the two junior classes is to +mak' balls as hard as he can lick and bring them forward to the fighting +line. + +"We'll divide the senior school into three divisions; Dunc will take +thirty of ye and drive McIntyre frae the guns and along the terrace till +ye turn them into Breadalbane Street. Thirty o' ye--and I want nae +Dowbiggins--'ll come with me, and we'll bring the Pennies aff the shed +quicker than they got up, and drive them up the back streets till we +land them wi' the rest in Breadalbane Street; and the juniors 'ill keep +us well supplied with balls, else Dunc and me will ken the reason at two +o'clock. + +"Jock Howieson, ye're to tak' thirty swank fellows that can run and are +no 'feart to be left alane. Ye'll rin round by the North Street and the +Cathedral and come down the top of Breadalbane Street till ye cut off +McIntyre's and the Pennies frae their schools. Dae nothin' till ye see +Dunc and me drivin' the lot up Breadalbane Street, then come down from +the back end of them wi' all your might, and I'm thinkin' they'll be +wanting to be inside their ain yard afore a' be done." + +Dunc assembled his corps inside the front porch, each boy supplied with +two balls and with twenty youngsters behind bringing up more. McIntyre's +balls were falling on the front wall and coming in through the porch. +One of them struck Dunc on the side of the head, but he forbade any +return fire. + +"They're wastin' their balls," he said; "it'll be the better for us"; +and then, looking round, "Are ye ready? Charge!" and shouting "Seminary! +Seminary!" he led his division across the terrace and fell upon +McIntyre's behind the guns. It was a short, sharp scrimmage, during +which Dunc levelled the leader of McIntyre's, and then the enemy began +to retreat slowly down the terrace, with many a hand-to-hand encounter +and scuffle on the snow. As soon as Dunc's division had cleared the +front, Jock Howieson collected his lads and started along the terrace in +the opposite direction at a sharp run, carrying no balls, for they +intended to make them on the scene of operation. When the other two +divisions were off, Speug addressed his faithful band. "MacFarlane, take +six birkies, climb up the waterspout, and clean the richt-hand shed, +couping the Pennies into the street. Mackenzie, ye're no bad at the +fightin'; tak' anither sax and empty the roof o' the left-hand shed, and +'gin ye can clout that Penny that's sittin' on the riggin' it'll teach +him to keep in the street next day. + +"Noo, that leaves eighteen, and me and Bauldie and Jamie Johnston 'ill +lead ye down the passage. We'll need six balls each, as hard as ye mak' +'em, and the rest o' ye tak' two in yir arms and one in yir hand. Pit +yir bonnits in yir pocket--they'll no be muckle use--button yir jackets, +and when the three o' us gae down the passage for ony sake follow close +in behind. Just ae thing more," said Speug, who was in his glory that +day. "I'll need a laddie to keep me gaein' with balls, and I want a +laddie that has some spunk, for he'll hae a rough time." Below thirty +of the junior school were waiting and looking at Speug like dogs for a +biscuit. He threw his eye over the group, any one of which would have +given his best knife and all his marbles, and thrown in a cricket bat +and his last kite, to have been chosen. + +"Nestie," said Speug, "ye're little and ye're white and ye're terrible +polite, but there's a sperit in ye. Ye'll carry ma balls this day, and +noo, you juniors, aff to the ball-making, and see that Nestie's bonnet's +well filled, and there's no any of us wanting for a ball when we drive +the Pennies down the back road." Then Speug moved to the back corridor +and arranged his division, with Nestie behind him, and Bauldie and Jamie +Johnston on the right hand and on the left, Mackenzie's and MacFarlane's +detachments close behind, who were to turn off to the right hand and the +left as they emerged from the corridor; the rest were to follow Speug +through the passage of danger. Speug took two balls and placed them in +the hollow of his left arm, feeling them carefully to see that they +would leave a mark when they struck a Penny. The third he took in his +right hand, and Nestie had the reserve. + +"Noo," he said, "gin anybody be feared he'd better gae in and sit doun +beside the fire with the Dowbiggins," and since nobody responded to this +genial invitation Speug gave one shout of "Seminary!" and in a minute +was across the playground and at the mouth of the passage, while +Mackenzie and MacFarlane were already scrambling up the walls of the +sheds. Covering his face with his left arm and sending his first ball +direct into the face of the foremost Penny, and following it up with a +second and a third driven with unerring aim and the force of a catapolt, +and receiving anything from twelve to twenty balls between him and +Bauldie and Johnston, the three led the way down the passage, Nestie +close behind Speug and handing him a new supply of balls. They met at +the outer end of the passage--the Pennies and Speug's lot--and for about +thirty seconds they swayed in one mass of struggling, fighting, shouting +boy life, and then, so steady was the play of Speug's fists, so able the +assistance of the other two, so strong the pressure from behind, and so +rapid the shower of balls sent over Speug's head among the Pennies, the +Pennies gave way and Speug and his band burst into the back street, the +leader with his jacket torn off his back, and his face bearing the scars +of conflict, but full of might, and Nestie with the balls behind him. + +The Seminary lads and the Pennies were now face to face in the back +street, with a space of about ten yards between, and both parties made +arrangements for the final conflict. The scouts of the Pennies could be +seen bringing balls from Breadalbane Street, and the Pennies themselves +made such hasty readjustments of their negligent attire as were +rendered necessary by the vigour of the last fighting. Their commander +was a sturdy lad about fifteen years of age, with a great shock of red +hair and fists like iron. His favourite method of charge was to lead his +army in the form of an inverted V, he being himself at the apex, and to +force his way through the other side on the principle of a wedge. Speug +did not believe in this arrangement. He led himself in the centre and +threw out his two lieutenants far out on the right hand and on the left, +so that when the Pennies forced their way into the middle of his +division, Bauldie and Johnson were on their right and left +flanks--tactics which in Speug's experience always caused dismay in the +attacking force. The younger boys of the Seminary had by this time ample +resources of ammunition ready, working like tigers without jackets now +or bonnets, and as they brought out the supplies of balls through the +passage of victory they received nods of approval from Speug, each nod +being something like a decoration. It was fine to see Speug examining +the balls to see that they were properly made and of a hardness which +would give satisfaction to the expectant Pennies. + +Some pleasant incidents occurred during this interlude. When the +Seminary lads fought their way through the passage they cut off the +retreat of three Pennies who were still fighting with MacFarlane on the +top of the right-hand shed. + +"What are ye daein' up there?" said Speug, with ironic politeness; +"that's no' the ordinar' road into the Seminary;" and then, as they +hesitated on the edge of the water pipe, Speug conceived what was in +these days a fine form of humour. "Come down," he said, "naebody 'ill +touch ye"; and then he ordered an open passage to be made through the +ranks of the Seminaries. Down between two lines the unfortunate Pennies +walked, no one laying a hand upon them, but various humourists +expressing their hopes that they had enjoyed the top of the shed, that +it wasn't MacFarlane that had given one of them a black eye, that they +hoped one of them hadn't lost his jacket on the roof of the shed, and +that they were none the worse for their exertion, and that they expected +to meet them later on--which gracious salutations the Pennies received +in bitter silence as they ran the gauntlet; and when they had escaped +clear of the Seminaries and stood halfway between the two armies they +turned round with insulting gestures, and one of them cried, "Ye'll get +yir paiks (thrashing) for this or the day be done!" + +Their arrival among their friends and the slight commotion which it +caused in the front ranks of the Pennies was a chance for Speug, who +gave the signal for the charge and made himself directly for the leader +of the Pennies. No pen at this distance of time can describe the +conflict between the two leaders, who fired forth balls at each other at +close distance, every one going to its mark, and one leaving an +indelible impress upon Speug's ingenuous forehead. They then came to +close grip, and there was a tussle, for which both had been waiting for +many a day. From fists, which were not quite ineffectual, they fell upon +wrestling, and here it seemed that Redhead must have the advantage, for +he was taller in stature and more sinuous in body. During the wrestle +there was something like a lull in the fighting, and both Pennies and +Seminaries, now close together, held their hands till Speug, with a +cunning turn of the leg that he had been taught by an English groom in +his father's stable, got the advantage, and the two champions came down +in the snow, Redhead below. The Seminaries set up a shout of triumph, +and the scouts running to and fro with the balls behind joined in with, +"Well done, Speug!" + +Speug had all the instincts of a true general and was not the man to +spend his time in unprofitable exultation. It was a great chance to take +the Pennies when they were without their leader and discomfited by his +fall, and in an instant Speug was up, driving his way through the midst +of the enemy, who were now divided in the centre, whilst Johnston and +Bauldie had crept up by the side of the houses on either side and were +attacking them in parallel lines. MacFarlane and Mackenzie had come down +from the shed with their detachment and were busy in the rear of the +Seminaries. Redhead fought like a hero, but was almost helpless in the +confusion, and thought it the best strategy to make a rush to the clear +ground in the rear of his position, calling his followers after him; and +now the Pennies gathered at the far end of the street, beaten in tactics +and in fighting, but ever strong in heart, and full of insolence. +"That," said Speug, wiping his face with his famous red handkerchief +which he carried in his trousers pocket, and hastily attending to some +of his wounds, "that wesna' bad"; and then turning to Nestie, "Ye keepit +close, my mannie." Speug's officers, such mighties as Bauldie and +Johnston, MacFarlane and Mackenzie, all bearing scars, clustered round +their commander with expressions of admiration. "Yon was a bonny twirl, +and you coupit him weel." "Sall, they've gotten their licks," while +Speug modestly disclaimed all credit, and spoke generously of the +Pennies, declaring that they had fought well, and that Redhead nearly +got the mastery. + +At that moment a shout of "Seminary!" was heard in the rear of the +Pennies, and Speug knew that Duncan Robertson had driven McIntyre's the +full length of the terrace and was now fighting them in Breadalbane +Street. "Forward!" cried Speug. "Dunc's on the back of them," and +Redhead at the same moment hurriedly withdrew his forces, covering his +retreat with a shower of balls, and united with McIntyre's, who were +retiring before Robertson and the second division of the Seminaries. +Amid cries of "Seminary! Seminary!" Speug and Duncan met where the back +street opens into Breadalbane Street, and their divisions amalgamated, +exchanging notes on the battle and examining one another's personal +appearance. There was not a bonnet to be seen, and not many jackets, +which had either been left behind or thrown off or torn off in personal +conflict with the Pennies; collars may have remained, but that no one +could tell, and there were some whose waistcoats were now held by one +button. Two or three also had been compelled to drop out of active +battle and were hanging in the rear, rubbing their faces with snow and +trusting to be able to see clear enough for the final charge; and still +the juniors were making their balls and had established a new magazine +at the end of the terrace. Several of these impenitent little wretches +had themselves been in the thick of the fight, and could be seen +pointing proudly to a clout on the forehead and a cut on the lip. What a +time certain mothers would have that evening when their warriors came +home, some of them without caps, which would never be recovered, most of +them with buttonless waistcoats and torn jackets, half of them with +disfigured faces, all of them drenched to the skin, and every one of +them full of infinite satisfaction and gladness of heart! Their fathers, +who had heard about the battle before they came home and had not failed +to discover who had won, being all Seminary lads themselves, would also +be much lifted, but would feign to be extremely angry at the savagery +of their boys, would wonder where the police were, would threaten their +sons with all manner of punishments if this ever happened again, and +would declare their intention of laying a complaint before the chief +constable. As, however, it was absolutely necessary in the interests of +justice that the whole facts should be known before they took action, +they would skilfully extract the whole Homeric narrative, with every +personal conflict and ruse of war, from their sons, and only when the +last incident had been related would announce their grave and final +displeasure. + +As for the police, who were not numerous in Muirtown, and who lived on +excellent good terms with everybody, except tramps, they seemed to have +a prophetic knowledge when a snow-fight was coming on, and were detained +by important duty in distant streets. It was always, however, believed +by the Seminary that two of the police could be seen, one at the +distance of the bridge over the Tay, the other at the far extremity of +Breadalbane Street, following the fight with rapt attention, and in the +case of the Pennies winning, which had been their own school, smacking +their lips and slapping their hands under pretence of warming themselves +in the cold weather, and in the event of the Seminaries winning marching +off in opposite directions, lest they should be tempted to interfere, +which they would have considered contrary to the rules of fair play, +and giving their own school a mean advantage. Perhaps some ingenuous +modern person will ask, "What were the masters of the Seminary about +during this hour?" The Rector was sitting by the fire in his +retiring-room, reading a winter ode of Horace, and as faint sounds of +war reached his ears he would stir the fire and lament, like the quiet +old scholar that he was, that Providence had made him ruler of such a +band of barbarians; but he would also cherish the hope that his +barbarians would not come off second. As for Bulldog, his mind was torn +between two delights--the anticipation of the exercise which he would +have next day, and the pleasure which his lads were having to-day--and +nothing more entirely endeared Bulldog to his savages than the fact +that, instead of going home to dinner during this hour, which was his +usual custom, he contented himself with a biscuit. He was obliged to buy +it in a baker's shop in Breadalbane Street, from which he could command +a perfect view of the whole battle, especially as he happened to stand +in the doorway of the shop, and never returned to school till the crisis +of war was over. He was careful to explain to the school that he had +himself gone for the purpose of identifying the ringleaders in mischief, +and it was on such an occasion that Speug, keeping his right cheek +immovable towards Bulldog, would wink to the assembled school with +irresistible effect. + +Nor ought one to forget the janitor of Muirtown Seminary, who had been a +sergeant in the Black Watch and had been wounded three times in the +Crimean War. His orders, as given by the Rector and reinforced by all +law-abiding parents, were to prevent any boy of the Seminary leaving the +school for the purpose of a snowball fight, and should such an +unfortunate affair take place he was directed to plunge into the midst +and by force of arm to bring the Seminaries home to their own fireside, +leaving rough and rude schools like the Pennies and McIntyre's to fight +at their wicked will. For did not the Seminary lads move in polite +society, except Speug, and were they not going to be, as they have +become, clergymen and lawyers, and physicians, to say nothing of bailies +on the bench and elders of the Kirk? These orders Sergeant Dougal +McGlashan carried out, not so much in the bondage of the letter as in +the fulness of the spirit. Many were the conversations which Speug and +he had together in anticipation of the snow time, when you may believe +if you please that that peaceable man was exhorting Speug to obedience +and gentleness, or if you please that he was giving the commander of the +Seminary certain useful hints which he himself had picked up from the +"red line" at Balaclava. Certain it is that when the Seminaries went out +that day in battle array the sergeant was engaged mending the fires with +great diligence, so that he was not able to see them depart. Afterwards +it was the merest duty for him to stand at the end of the passage of +victory, lest the Pennies or any other person should venture on another +outrage; and if he was late in calling his boys back from Breadalbane +Street, that was only because the cold had made his wounds to smart +again, and he could only follow them in the rear till the battle was +over. When the evil was done there was no use of vain regret, and in the +afternoon the sergeant stood beside the big fire and heard accounts of +the battle from one and another, and then he would declare that there +were lads in Muirtown Seminary who would have done well at Inkermann and +the storming of the Redan. + +Breadalbane Street, which was broad and straight, with the back road to +the Seminary on the right hand, and the street to McIntyre's and the +Pennies on the left, had been the battle-ground of generations, for it +gave opportunity for deploying in divisions, for front attack and for +flank, as well as for royal charges which extended across the street. +McIntyres and Pennies had been recruited from their several schools and +supplied afresh with ammunition. Redhead took command of the united +force and arranged them across the street in his favourite wedge, with +the base resting on the home street, and this time he gave the signal, +and so impetuous was their charge that they drove their way almost +through the ranks of the Seminaries, and Speug himself, through sheer +weight of attack, was laid flat in the middle of the street. Robertson +and his officers rallied their forces, but it was possible that the +Seminaries might have lost the day had it not been for the masterly +foresight of Speug and the opportune arrival of Jock Howieson. That +worthy had taken his division by a circuitous route, in which they had +been obstructed by a miserable Episcopal school which wanted a fight on +its own account and had to receive some passing attention. A little +late, Howieson reached the Cathedral, and then, judging it better not to +come down Breadalbane Street, where his attack would have been exposed, +he made his way on the right of the street by passages known only to +himself, and having supplied his division with ammunition from a +snow-drift in a back entry, he came into the home street, which was the +only line of retreat for the enemy, and cut them off from their base. +Leaving a handful of lads to prevent the scouts coming out from the +Pennies or the McIntyres with information, and driving before him the +ammunition train of the enemy, he came round into Breadalbane Street +with twenty-five tough fighters raging and fuming for the battle and +just in the nick of time. It was hard for any fighting man to have spent +something like half an hour wandering round circuitous streets and +holding ridiculous conflicts with unknown schools when the battle of +Waterloo, with the fate of the Empire of Muirtown, was hanging in the +balance. + +Before Redhead had notice of the arrival of the new division they were +upon his rear, and a play of snowballs fell upon the back of the +Pennies. This was more than even veteran forces could endure, and in +spite of the heroic efforts of Redhead, who fired his balls alternately +back and forward, his forces fell into a panic. They broke and drove +their way through Howieson's division, receiving severe punishment from +balls fired at a distance of a few feet, and then, in spite of the +efforts of their officers, who fought till they were black and blue, but +chiefly red, the enemy rushed down the home street and, sweeping the +rearguard of Howieson's before them like straws in a stream, made for +their respective schools. The Seminaries in one united body, headed by +the three commanders and attended by the whole junior school, visited +the Pennies' school first, whose gates were promptly closed, and having +challenged the Pennies with opprobrious words to come out and fight like +men--Redhead being offered the chance of single combat with Dunc or +Speug or Jock Howieson--the Seminaries then made their way to McIntyre's +Academy. As this unfortunate place of learning had no gate, Speug led +the Seminaries into the centre of their courtyard, McIntyre's boys +having no spirit left in them and being now hidden in the class-rooms. +As they would not come out, in spite of a shower of courteous +invitations, Speug stood in the centre of their courtyard and called the +gods to witness that it had been a fair fight and that the Seminaries +had won. A marvellous figure was he, without bonnet, without collar, +without tie, without jacket, without waistcoat, with nothing on him but +a flannel shirt and those marvellous horsey trousers, but glorious in +victory. Taking a snowball from Nestie, who was standing by his side, +openly and in face of McIntyre's masters, gathered at a window, he sent +it with unerring aim through the largest pane of glass in McIntyre's own +room. "That," said Speug, "'ill tell ye the Seminaries have been here." +Then he collected his forces and led them home down the cross street and +into Breadalbane Street, down the middle of Breadalbane Street, and +round the terrace, and in by the front door into the Seminary. As they +came down they sang, "Scots wha hae," and the juniors, who had rushed on +before, met them at the door and gave three cheers, first for Speug, +then for Dunc, and then for Jock Howieson, which homage and tribute of +victory Speug received with affected contempt but great pride of heart. +In order to conceal his feelings he turned to his faithful henchman, +little Nestie Molyneux, who, always a delicate-looking little laddie, +was now an altogether abject spectacle, with torn clothes, dripping +hair, and battered face. "Nestie," said Speug, in hearing of the whole +school, "ye're a plucky little deevil," and although since then he has +been in many places and has had various modest triumphs, that still +remains the proudest moment in Nestie Molyneux's life. + + + + +HIS PRIVATE CAPACITY + +V + + +It is well enough for popular rulers like presidents to live in public +and shake hands with every person; but absolute monarchs, who govern +with an iron hand and pay not the slightest attention to the public +mind, ought to be veiled in mystery. If Bulldog had walked homeward with +his boys in an affectionate manner, and inquired after their sisters, +like his temporary assistant, Mr. Byles, or had played with interesting +babies on the North Meadow, as did Topp, the drawing-master--Augustus de +Lacy Topp--who wore a brown velvet jacket and represented sentiment in a +form verging on lunacy; or if he had invited his classes to drink coffee +in a very shabby little home, as poor Moossy did, and treated them to +Beethoven's Symphonies, then even Jock Howieson, the stupidest lad in +the Seminary, would have been shocked, and would have felt that the +Creation was out of gear. The last thing we had expected of Bulldog was +polite conversation, or private hospitality. His speech was confined to +the class-room, and there was most practical; and his hospitality, +which was generous and widespread, was invariably public. His _rôle_ was +to be austere, unapproachable, and lifted above feeling, and had it not +been for Nestie he had sustained it to the day of his death. + +Opinion varied about Bulldog's age, some insisting that he had +approached his century, others being content with "Weel on to eighty." +None hinted at less than seventy. No one could remember his coming to +Muirtown, and none knew whence he came. His birthplace was commonly +believed to be the West Highlands, and it was certain that in dealing +with a case of aggravated truancy he dropped into Gaelic. Bailie +McCallum used to refer in convivial moments to his schooldays under +Bulldog, and always left it to be inferred that had it not been for that +tender, fostering care, he had not risen to his high estate in Muirtown. +Fathers of families who were elders in the kirk, and verging on grey +hair, would hear no complaints of Bulldog, for they had passed under the +yoke in their youth, and what they had endured with profit--they now +said--was good enough for their children. He seemed to us in those days +like Melchizedek, without father or mother, beginning or end of days; +and now that Bulldog has lain for many a year in a quiet Perthshire +kirkyard, it is hardly worth while visiting Muirtown Seminary. + +Every morning, except in vacation, he crossed the bridge at 8.45, with +such rigid punctuality that the clerks in the Post Office checked the +clock by him, and he returned by the way he had gone, over the North +Meadow, at 4.15, for it was his grateful custom to close the +administration of discipline at the same hour as the teaching, +considering with justice that any of the Muirtown varlets would rather +take the cane than be kept in, where from the windows he could see the +North Meadow in its greenness, and the river running rapidly on an +afternoon. It would have been out of place for Bulldog to live in a +Muirtown street, where he must have been overlooked and could not have +maintained his necessary reserve. Years ago he had built himself a house +upon the slope of the hill which commanded Muirtown from the other side +of the river. It was a hill which began with wood and ended in a lofty +crag; and even from his house, halfway up and among the trees, Bulldog +could look down upon Muirtown, compactly built together on the plain +beneath, and thinly veiled in the grey smoke which rose up lazily from +its homes. It cannot be truthfully said that Bulldog gave himself to +poetry, but having once varied his usual country holiday by a visit to +Italy, he ever afterwards declared at dinner-table that Muirtown +reminded him of Florence as you saw that city from Fiesole, with the +ancient kirk of St. John rising instead of the Duomo, and the Tay +instead of the Arno. He admitted that Florence had the advantage in her +cathedral, but he stoutly insisted that the Arno was but a poor, +shrunken river compared with his own; for wherever Bulldog may have been +born, he boasted himself to be a citizen of Muirtown, and always +believed that there was no river to be found anywhere like unto the Tay. +His garden was surrounded with a high wall, and the entrance was by a +wooden door, and how Bulldog lived within these walls no one knew, but +many had imagined. Speug, with two daring companions, had once traced +Bulldog home and seen him disappear through the archway, and then it was +in their plan to form a ladder one above the other, and that Peter, from +the top thereof, should behold the mysterious interior and observe +Bulldog in private life; but even Speug's courage failed at the critical +moment, and they returned without news to the disappointed school. + +Pity was not the characteristic of Seminary life in those days, but the +hardest heart was touched with compassion when Nestie Molyneux lost his +father and went to stay with Bulldog. The Seminary rejoiced in their +master; but it was with trembling, and the thought of spending the +evening hours and all one's spare time in his genial company excited our +darkest imagination. To write our copy-books and do our problems under +Bulldog's eye was a bracing discipline which lent a kind of zest to +life, but to eat and drink with Bulldog was a fate beyond words. + +As it was an article of faith with us that Bulldog was never perfectly +happy except when he was plying the cane, it was taken for granted that +Nestie would be his solitary means of relaxation, from the afternoon of +one day to the morning of the next, and when Nestie appeared, on the +third morning after his change of residence, the school was waiting to +receive him. + +His walking across the meadow by Bulldog's side, with his hands in his +pockets, talking at his ease and laughing lightly, amazed us on first +sight, but did not count for much, because we considered this manner a +policy of expediency and an act of hypocrisy. After all, he was +only doing what every one of us would have done in the same +circumstances--conciliating the tyrant and covering his own sufferings. +We kept a respectful distance till Nestie parted with his guardian, and +then we closed in round him and licked our lips, for the story that +Nestie could tell would make any Indian tale hardly worth the reading. + +Babel was let loose, and Nestie was pelted with questions which came in +a fine confusion from many voices, and to which he was hardly expected +to give an immediate answer. + +"What like is the cane he keeps at home?" "Has Bulldog tawse in the +house?" "Div ye catch it regular?" "Does he come after you to your +bedroom?" "Have ye onything to eat?" "Is the garden door locked?" "Could +ye climb over the wall if he was thrashing you too sore?" "Did he let +ye bring yir rabbits?" "Have ye to work at yir lessons a' night?" "What +does Bulldog eat for his dinner?" "Does he ever speak to you?" "Does he +ever say onything about the school?" "Did ye ever see Bulldog sleeping?" +"Are ye feared to be with him?" "Would the police take ye away if he was +hurting ye?" "Is there ony other body in the house?" "Would he let ye +make gundy (candy) by the kitchen fire?" "Have ye to work all night at +yir books?" "Does he make ye brush his boots?" "What do ye call him in +the house?" "Would ye call him Bulldog for a shilling's-worth of gundy +if the garden gate was open?" "Has he ony apples in the garden?" "Would +ye daur to lay a finger on them?" "How often have ye to wash yir hands?" +"Would ye get yir licks if yir hair wasna brushed?" And then Speug +interfered, and commanded silence that Nestie might satisfy the +curiosity of the school. + +"Haud yir blethering tongues!" was his polite form of address. "Noo, +Nestie, come awa' wi' yir evidence. What like is't to live wi' Bulldog?" + +"It's awfully g-good of you fellows to ask how I'm getting on with +Bully," and Nestie's eyes lit up with fun, for he'd a nice little sense +of humour, and never could resist the temptation of letting it play upon +our slow-witted, matter-of-fact intellects. "And I declare you seem to +know all about what h-happens. I'll j-just tell you something about it, +but it'll make you creepy," and then all the circle gathered in round +Nestie. "I have to rise at five in the morning, and if I'm not down at +half-past, Bulldog comes for me with a c-cane" (Howieson at this point +rubbed himself behind gently). "Before breakfast we have six 'p-props' +from Euclid and two vulgar f-fractions" (a groan from the school): "for +breakfast we've porridge and milk, and I have to keep time with +Bulldog--one, two, three, four--with the spoonfuls. He's got the c-cane +on the table." ("Gosh" from a boy at the back, and general sympathy.) +"He has the t-tawse hung in the lobby so as to be handy." ("It cowes +all.") "There are three regular c-canings every day, one in the morning, +and one in the afternoon, and one before you go to bed." At this point +Speug, who had been listening with much doubt to Nestie's account, and +knew that he had a luxuriant imagination, interfered. + +"Nestie," he said, "ye're an abandoned little scoundrel, and ye're +telling lees straicht forward," and the school went into the class-room +divided in opinion. Some were suspicious that Nestie had been feeding +their curiosity with highly spiced meat, but others were inclined to +believe anything of Bulldog's household arrangements. During the hour +Speug studied Nestie's countenance with interest, and in the break he +laid hold of that ingenious young gentleman by the ear and led him apart +into a quiet corner, where he exhorted him to unbosom the truth. Nestie +whispered something in Speug's ear which shook even that worthy's +composure. + +"Did ye say rabbits?" + +"Lop-ears," said Nestie after a moment's silence, and Speug was more +confounded than he had ever been in all his blameless life. + +"Ernest Molyneux, div ye kin whar ye 'ill go to if ye tell lees." + +"I'm telling the t-truth, Speug, and I never tell lies, but sometimes I +compose t-tales. Lop-ear rabbits, and he feeds them himself." + +"Will ye say 'as sure as death'?"--for this was with us the final test +of truth. + +"As sure as death," said Nestie, and that afternoon Speug had so much to +think about that he gave almost no heed when Bulldog discovered him with +nothing on the sheet before him except a remarkably correct drawing of +two lop-eared rabbits. + +Speug and Nestie crossed the North Meadow together after school, and +before they parted at the bridge Nestie entreated the favour of a visit +in his new home that evening from Speug; but, although modesty was not +Speug's prevailing characteristic, he would on no account accept the +flattering invitation. Maybe he was going to drive with his father, who +was breaking-in a new horse, or maybe he was going out on the river in a +boat, or maybe the stable gates were to be shut and the fox turned loose +for a run, or maybe---- + +[Illustration: "NESTIE WHISPERED SOMETHING IN SPEUG'S EAR."] + +"Maybe you are going to learn your l-lessons, Speug, for once in your +life," said Nestie, who, his head on one side, was studying Speug's +embarrassment. + +"A'm to do naething o' the kind," retorted Speug, turning a dark red at +this insult. "Nane o' yir impidence." + +"Maybe you're f-frightened to come," said Nestie, and dodged at the same +time behind a lamp-post. "Why, Speug, I didn't know you were +f-frightened of anything." + +"Naither I am," said Speug stoutly; "an' if it had been Jock Howieson +said that, I'd black his eyes. What sud I be frightened of, ye miserable +little shrimp?" + +"Really, I don't know, Speug," said Nestie; "but just let me g-guess. It +might be climbing the hill; or did you think you might meet one of the +'Pennies,' and he would fight you; or, Speug--an idea occurs to me--do +you feel as if you did not want to spend an hour--just a nice, quiet +hour--all alone with Bulldog? You and he are such f-friends, Speug, in +the Seminary. Afraid of Bulldog? Speug, I'm ashamed of you, when poor +little me has to live with him now every day." + +"When I get a grip o' you, Nestie Molyneux, I'll learn ye to give me +chat. I never was afraid of Bulldog, and I dinna care if he chases me +round the garden wi' a stick, but I'm no coming." + +"You _are_ afraid, Speug; you _dare_ not come." And Nestie kept +carefully out of Speug's reach. + +"You are a liar," cried Speug. "I'll come up this very night at seven +o'clock, but I'll no come in unless ye're at the garden door." + +Speug had fought many pitched battles in his day, and was afraid neither +of man nor beast, but his heart sank within him for the first time in +his life when he crossed the bridge and climbed the hill to the +residence of Mr. Dugald MacKinnon. Nothing but his pledged word, and a +reputation for courage which must not be tarnished, since it rested on +nothing else, brought him up the lane to Bulldog's door. He was before +his time, and Nestie had not yet come to meet him, and he could allow +his imagination to picture what was within the walls, and what might +befall his unfortunate self before he went down that lane again. His one +consolation and support was in the lop-eared rabbits; and if it were the +case, as Nestie had sworn with an oath which never had been broken at +the Seminary, that there were rabbits within that dreadful enclosure, +there was hope for him; for if he knew about anything, he knew about +rabbits, and if anyone had to do with rabbits--and although it was +incredible, yet had not Nestie sworn it with an oath?--there must be +some bowels of mercy even in Bulldog. Speug began to speculate whether +he might not be able, with Nestie's loyal help, to reach the rabbits and +examine thoroughly into their condition, and escape from the garden +without a personal interview with its owner; and at the thought thereof +Speug's heart was lifted. For of all his exploits which had delighted +the Seminary, none, for its wonder and daring, its sheer amazingness, +could be compared with a stolen visit to Bulldog's rabbits. "Nestie," he +murmured to himself, as he remembered that little Englishman's prodigal +imagination, "is a maist extraordinary leear, but he said 'as sure as +death.'" + +"Why, Speug, is that you? You ought to have opened the door. Come along +and shake hands with the master; he's just l-longing to see you." And +Speug was dragged along the walk between the gooseberry bushes, which in +no other circumstances would he have passed unnoticed, and was taken up +to be introduced with the air of a dog going to execution. He heard +someone coming down the walk, and he lifted up his eyes to know the +worst, and in that moment it appeared as if reason had deserted the +unhappy Speug. It was the face of Bulldog, for the like of that +countenance could not be found on any other man within the United +Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. Yes, it was Bulldog, and that +Speug would be prepared to swear in any court of justice. The nose and +the chin, and the iron-grey whiskers and hair, and above all those +revolving eyes. There could not be any mistake. But what had happened to +Bulldog's face, for it was like unto that of another man? The sternness +had gone out of it, and--there was no doubt about it--Bulldog was +smiling, and it was an altogether comprehensive and irresistible smile. +It had taken the iron lines out of his face and shaped his lips to the +kindliest curve, and deprived his nose of its aggressive air, and robbed +the judicial appearance of his whiskers, and it had given him--it was a +positive fact--another pair of eyes. They still revolved, but not now +like the guns in the turret of a monitor dealing destruction right and +left. They were shining and twinkling like the kindly light from a +harbour tower. There never was such a genial and humoursome face, so +full of fun and humanity, as that which looked down on the speechless +Speug. Nor was that all; it was a complete transformation. Where were +the pepper-and-salt trousers and the formal black coat and vest, which +seemed somehow to symbolise the inflexible severity of Bulldog's reign? +and the hat, and the gloves, and the stick--what had become of his +trappings? Was there ever such a pair of disreputable old slippers, down +at the heel, out at the sides, broken at the seams, as those that +covered the feet of Bulldog in that garden. The very sight of those +slippers, with their suggestion of slackness and unpunctuality and +ignorance of all useful knowledge and general Bohemianism, was the first +thing which cheered the heart of Speug. Those slippers would tolerate no +problems from Euclid and would laugh a cane to scorn. Where did he ever +get those trousers, and from whose hands did they originally come, +baggy at the knee and loose everywhere, stained with garden mould and +torn with garden bushes? + +[Illustration: "SPEUG WAS DRAGGED ALONG THE WALK."] + +Without question it was a warm night in that sheltered place on the side +of the hill; but would any person believe that the master of +mathematics, besides writing and arithmetic, in Muirtown Seminary, was +going about in his garden, and before the eyes of two of his pupils, +without the vestige of a waistcoat. Speug now was braced for wonders, +but even he was startled with Bulldog's jacket, which seemed of earlier +age than the trousers, with which it had no connexion in colour. It may +once have had four buttons, but only two were left now; there was a tear +in its side that must have been made by a nail in the garden wall, the +handle of a hammer projected from one pocket, and a pruning-knife from +the other. And if there was not a pipe in Bulldog's mouth, stuck in the +side of his cheek, "as sure as death!" There was a knife in his hand, +with six blades and a corkscrew and a gimlet and the thing for taking +the stones out of a horse's hoof--oath again repeated--and Bulldog was +trying the edge of the biggest blade upon his finger. Speug, now +ascending from height to height, was not surprised to see no necktie, +and would have been prepared to see no collar. He had now even a wild +hope that when he reached Bulldog's head it might be crowned with a +Highland bonnet, minus the tails; but instead thereof there was a hat, +possibly once a wide-awake, so bashed, and shapeless, and discoloured, +and worn so rakishly, partly on the back and partly on the side of his +head, that Speug was inwardly satisfied, and knew that no evil could +befall him in that garden. + +"Speug, my mannie, how are ye?" said this amazing figure. "Ye've been +long of coming. There's something like a knife, eh!" and Bulldog opened +up the whole concern and challenged Speug to produce his knife, which +was not so bad after all, for it had six departments, and one of them +was a file, which was wanting in Bulldog's. + +"Show the master your peerie, Speug," said Nestie. "It's split more tops +than any one in the school; it's a r-ripper," and Nestie exhibited its +deadly steel point with much pride, while Speug endeavoured to look +unconscious as the owner of this instrument of war. + +"Dod, I'll have a try myself," said Bulldog. "It's many a year since +I've spun a top. Where's yir string?" and he strode up the walk winding +the top, and the boys behind looked at one another, while Nestie +triumphed openly. + +"Are you frightened, Speug?" he whispered. "Ain't he great? And just you +wait; you haven't begun to see things yet, not h-half." + +Upon the doorstep Bulldog spun the top with a right hand that had not +lost its cunning, but rather had been strengthened by much cane +exercise. "It's sleeping," he cried in huge delight. "If you dare to +touch it, pity you!" but no one wished to shorten its time, and the +three hung over that top with fond interest, as Bulldog timed the +performance with his watch, which he extricated from his trouser pocket. + +"Ye're a judge of rabbits, Speug," said the master. "I would like to +have yir advice," and as they went down through the garden they halted +at a place, and the robins came and sat on Bulldog's shoulder and took +crumbs out of his hand, and a little further on the thrushes bade him +welcome, and he showed the boys where the swallows had built every year, +and they also flew round his head. + +"If ye dinna meddle with them, the birds 'ill no be afraid o' you, will +they, Dandie?" and the old terrier which followed at his heels wagged +his tail and indicated that he also was on good terms with every living +thing in the garden. + +No one in the Seminary ever could be brought to believe it, even +although Speug tried to inculcate faith with his fists, that Bulldog had +carried out a litter of young rabbits in his hat for inspection, and +that, before the three of them laid themselves out for a supper of +strawberries, Speug had given to his master the best knowledge at his +command on the amount of green food which might be given with safety to +a rabbit of adult years, and had laid it down with authority that a +moderate amount of tea-leaves and oatmeal might be allowed as an +occasional dainty. + +After the attack on the strawberries, in which Speug greatly +distinguished himself, and Bulldog urged him on with encouraging words, +they had tarts and lemonade in the house, where not a sign of cane or +tawse could be found. Bulldog drew the corks himself, and managed once +to drench Speug gloriously, whereat that worthy wiped his face with his +famous red handkerchief and was inordinately proud, while Nestie +declared that the thing had been done on purpose, and Bulldog threatened +him with the tawse for insulting his master. + +"Div ye think, Speug, ye could manage a piece of rock before ye go," and +Bulldog produced the only rock that a Muirtown man will ever think worth +eating--Fenwick's own very best, thick, and pure, and rich, and +well-flavoured; and when Speug knew not whether to choose the +peppermint, that is black and white, or the honey rock, which is brown +and creamy, or the cinnamon, which in those days was red outside and +white within, his host insisted that he should take a piece of each, and +they would last him till he reached his home. + +"Speug," and Bulldog bade farewell to his pupil at the garden gate, +"ye're the most aggravating little scoundrel in Muirtown Seminary, and +the devilry that's in you I bear witness is bottomless; but ye're fine +company, and ye 'ill, maybe, be a man yet, and Nestie and me will be +glad to see ye when ye're no engaged with yir study. Ye 'ill no forget +to come, Peter." + +Peter's tongue, which had been wagging freely among the rabbits, again +forsook him, but he was able to indicate that he would seize an early +opportunity of again paying his respects to Mr. Dugald MacKinnon in his +own home; and when Bulldog thrashed him next day for not having prepared +an exercise the night before, the incident only seemed to complete +Speug's pride and satisfaction. + + + + +THE DISGRACE OF MR. BYLES + +VI + + +Bulldog's southern assistant had tried the patience of the Seminary by +various efforts to improve its mind and manners, but when he proposed at +the beginning of the autumn term to occupy Saturdays with botanical +excursions to Kilspindie Woods, which, as everybody knows, are three +miles from Muirtown, and a paradise of pheasants, it was felt that if +there was any moral order in the universe something must happen. From +the middle of September, when the school opened, on to the beginning of +October, when football started, our spare time was given to kites, which +we flew from the North Meadow in the equinoctial gales gloriously. Speug +had one of heroic size, with the figure of a dragon upon it painted in +blue and yellow and red--the red for the fire coming out of his +mouth--and a tail of eight joints, ending in a bunch of hay fastened +with a ribbon. None but a sportsman like Speug could have launched the +monster from the ground--bigger than Peter by a foot--and nursed it +through the lower spaces till it caught the wind, and held it in the +higher as it tore upwards and forwards till the dragon was but the size +of a man's hand in the clear autumn sky. Then Peter would lie down upon +his back, with his hands below his head, and the stick with the kite +string beneath his feet, and gaze up at the speck above, with an +expression so lifted above this present world that a circle of juniors +could only look at him with silent admiration and speculate whether they +would ever become so good and great. + +It must not be thought, however, that kite-flying was chiefly done upon +your back, for it gave endless opportunities for intricate manoeuvres +and spectacular display. When Peter was in the vein he would collect +twelve mighties--each with a kite worth seeing--and bringing the kites +low enough for the glory of their size and tails to be visible they +would turn and wheel and advance and retire, keeping line and distance +with such accuracy that Sergeant McGlashan would watch the review with +keen interest and afterwards give his weighty approval. Then the band +would work their way up to the head of the Meadow in the teeth of a +north-wester, and forming in line, with half a dozen yards between each +boy, would let the kites go and follow them at the run as the kites tore +through the air and almost pulled their owners' arms out of the sockets. +It was so fine a demonstration that the women bleaching their clothes +would pick up half a dozen of the goodman's shirts to let Speug keep his +course--knowing very well that he would have kept it otherwise over the +shirts--and golfers, who expect everyone to get out of their way on pain +of sudden death, would stop upon the putting green to see the kites go +down in the wind with the laddies red-faced and bareheaded at their +heels. If the housewives shook their heads as they spread out the shirts +on the grass again--weighing them down with clean stones that they might +not follow the kites--it was with secret delight, for there is no +wholesome woman who does not rejoice in a boy and regard his most +vexatious mischief with charity. And old Major MacLeod, the keenest of +golfers and the most touchy of Celts, declared that this condemned old +Island was not dead yet when it could turn out such a gang of sturdy +young ruffians. And it was instead of such a mighty ploy that Mr. Byles +proposed to take the Seminary for a botanical excursion. + +It was in the mathematical class-room that Mr. Byles announced the new +departure, and, even if Bulldog had not been keeping watch with an +inscrutable countenance, the school was too much amazed to interrupt. +Having touched on the glories of the creation amid which we lived, Mr. +Byles pointed out, in what the newspapers call "neat and well-chosen +terms," that it was not enough to learn mathematics as they all did so +diligently--Jock Howieson's eye turned instinctively to Bulldog's +cane--but they must also know some natural science in order to become, +as he hoped they would, cultured men--Speug was just able to cast a +longing glance at Thomas John. That no pursuit was easier and more +delightful than botany, especially among wild flowers. That on Saturday +he proposed to go with as many as would join him to ransack the +treasures of Kilspindie Woods. That these woods were very rich, he +believed, in flowers, among which he mentioned wild geraniums--at which +the school began to recover and rustle. That the boys might dry the +geraniums and make books for Christmas presents with them, and that he +hoped to see a herbarium in the Seminary containing all the wild flowers +of the district. The school was now getting into good spirits, and +Bulldog allowed his eye to fall on Speug. That any boy who desired to +improve his mind was to put on his oldest suit and bring a bag to carry +the plants in and be in front of the Seminary at nine to-morrow. Then +Bulldog brought his cane down on the desk with energy and dismissed the +school, and Nestie told Peter that his mouth had begun to twitch. + +Outside the school gathered together on the terrace around the Russian +guns, which was our Forum, and after five seconds' pause, during which +we gathered inspiration from each others' faces, a great shout of +laughter went up to the sky, full-toned, unanimous, prolonged. Any sense +of humour in the Seminary was practical, and Mr. Byles's botany class, +with expeditions, was irresistible. + +"Geranniums!" cried Howieson, who was immensely tickled; "it cowes a'. +An' what was the ither flooer--'herbarries'? It's michty; it'ill be +poppies an' mustard seed next. Speug, ye'ill be making a book for a +present to Bulldog." + +"Tak care o' yirsel," Bauldie shouted to the Dowbiggins, who were making +off, as mass meetings did not agree with them, "an' see ye dinna wet yir +feet or dirty yir hands. Ye'ill get yir wheeps at home if ye do. Give us +a bit o' Byles, Nestie," and then there was instant silence, for Nestie +had a nice little trick of mimicry which greatly endeared him to a +school where delicate gifts were rare. + +"S-silence, if you please," and Nestie held up his hand with Mr. Byles's +favourite polite deprecating gesture. "I hear a smile. Remember, d-dear +boys, that this is a serious s-subject. Do p-please sit quiet, Peter +McGuffie; your fidgetin' is very t-tryin' indeed, and I 'ope, I mean +h-hope, you will make an effort to l-learn. This, my l-lads, is a common +object of Nature which I 'old, that is hold, in my h-hands--Howieson, I +must ask you not to annoy Thomas John Dowbiggin--the c-colour is a +lovely gold, and yet--no talking, if you please, it is r-rude--we pass +it every day without n-notice. Each boy may take a dandelion h-home to +his sister. Now go hout ... or rather out, quietly." + +"Gosh, it's just Byles to the ground!" cried Bauldie; and Johnston +passed a half stick of gundy to Nestie to refresh him after his labours. +"Are ony o' you chaps goin'? It wud be worth seein' Byles traking thro' +the Kilspindie Woods, with thae bleatin' sheep o' Dowbiggins at his +heels, carryin' an airmful o' roots and sic like." + +"You'ill no catch me tramping oot at the tail o' Byles and a litter o' +Dowbiggins!"--and Jock was very emphatic. "Dod, it'ill just be like a +procession o' MacMuldrow's lassies, two and two, and maybe airm in +airm!" + +This fearful and malignant suggestion settled the matter for the +Seminary, as a score of its worthies marching across the bridge in the +interests of science, like a boarding-school, would be a scandal for +ever. So it was agreed that a body of sympathisers should see the Byles +expedition off next morning, and then hold a field day of kites in the +meadow. + +The deterioration of the best is the worst, and that means that when a +prim, conventional, respectable man takes in his head to dress as a +Bohemian, the effect will be remarkable. Byles had been anxious to show +that he could be quite the gay rustic when he pleased, and he was got up +in a cap, much crushed, and a grey flannel shirt, with a collar +corresponding, and no tie, and a suit of brown tweeds, much stained with +futile chemical experiments. He was also equipped with a large canvas +bag, slung over his shoulder, and a hammock net, which he explained +could be slung from a tree and serve as a resting-place if it were damp +beneath. The Dowbiggins had entered into the spirit of the thing, and +were in clothes reserved for their country holidays. They had each an +umbrella, large and bulgy, and altogether were a pair of objects to whom +no one would have lent a shilling. Cosh, whose attack on Nestie made him +a social outcast, had declared himself a convert to natural science, and +was sucking up to Byles, and two harmless little chaps, who thought that +they would like to know something about flowers, made up the Botanical +Society. + +They were a lonely little group standing on the terrace, while Mr. Byles +was securing a trowel and other instruments of war from his room, but a +large and representative gathering of the Seminary did their best to +cheer and instruct them. + +Howieson insisted that the bottle of milk which bulged from the bag of +the younger Dowbiggin contained spirituous liquors, and warned the two +juniors to keep clear of him and to resist every temptation to drinking. +He also expressed an earnest hope that a rumour flying round the school +about tobacco was not true. But the smell on Dowbiggin's clothes was +horrid. Cosh was affectionately exhorted to have a tender care of his +health and personal appearance, not to bully Lord Kilspindie's +gamekeepers, nor to put his foot into a steel trap, nor to meddle with +the rabbits, nor to fall into the Tay, but above all things not to tell +lies. + +Thomas John was beset with requests--that he would leave a lock of his +hair in case he should not return, that he would mention the name of the +pawn-broker from whom he got his clothes, that he would bring home a +bouquet of wild flowers for Bulldog, that he would secure a supply of +turnips to make lanterns for Halloween, that he would be kind to Mr. +Byles and see that he took a rest in his net, that he would be careful +to gather up any "h's" Mr. Byles might drop on the road, and that he +should not use bad language under any circumstances. + +"Never mind what those boys say, Thomas," said Mr. Byles, who had come +out in time to catch the last exhortation: "it is far better to +himprove, I mean cultivate, the mind than to fly kites like a set of +children; but we all hope that you will have a nice fly, don't we, +boys?" And sarcasm from so feeble a quarter might have provoked a +demonstration had not Byles and his flock been blotted out by an amazing +circumstance. As the botanists started, Speug, who had maintained an +unusual silence all morning, joined the body along with Nestie, and gave +Mr. Byles to understand that he also was hungering for scientific +research. After their friends had recovered themselves they buzzed round +the two, who were following the Dowbiggins with an admirable affectation +of sedateness, but received no satisfaction. Speug contented himself +with warning off a dozen henchmen who had fallen in by him with the idea +of forming a mock procession, and then giving them a wink of +extraordinary suggestiveness. But Nestie was more communicative, and +explained the situation at length---- + +"Peter was a b-botanist all the time, but he did not know it; he fairly +loves g-geranniums, and is sorry that he wasted his time on k-kites and +snowballs. We are going to himprove our m-minds, and we don't want you +to trouble us." But this was not knowledge. + +It remained a mystery, and when Jock and Bauldie tailed off at the +bridge, and Speug, halfway across, turned round and winked again, it was +with regret that they betook themselves to their kites, and more than +once they found themselves casting longing glances to the distant woods, +where Speug was now pursuing the study of botany. + +"Bauldie," said Jock suddenly, as the kites hung motionless in the sky, +"this is weel enough, but tak' my word for't it's nothing to the game +they're playin' in yon woods." + +"Div ye mean howkin' geranniums? for I canna see muckle game in that: I +would as soon dig potatoes." Bauldie, though a man of his hands, had a +prosaic mind and had little imagination. + +"Geranniums! ger---- havers, that's no' what Speug is after, you bet. +He's got a big splore (exploit) on hand or he never crossed Muirtown +Brig in such company. Man, Bauldie, I peety Byles, I do. Peter'ill lose +the lot o' them in the woods or he'ill stick them in a bog, or"--and +Jock could hardly hold his kite--"what div ye say to this, man? he'ill +row them over to Woody Island and leave them there till Monday, with +naething but bread and milk and the net to sleep in." And the joy of +Jock and Bauldie at this cheerful prospect was rather a testimony to +their faith in Peter's varied ability than a proof of sympathy with +their fellow-creatures. + +If Speug was playing the fox he gave no sign on the way to the woods, +for he was a model of propriety and laid himself out to be agreeable. He +showed an unwonted respect for the feelings of the Dowbiggins, so that +these two young gentlemen relaxed the vigilant attention with which they +usually regarded Speug, and he was quite affable with Cosh. As for the +master, Peter simply placed himself at Mr. Byles's service, expatiating +on the extent of the woods and their richness in flowers--"just fair +scatted up wi' geranniums and the rest o' them:" offering to take the +expedition by the nearest way to the treasures, and especially insisting +on the number and beauty and tameness of the pheasants, till Mr. Byles +was charmed and was himself surprised at the humanising influence of +scientific pursuits. + +Nor had Peter boasted vainly of his wood lore, for he led them by so +direct a way that, before they came to the place of flowers, the +expedition--except the two little chaps, whom Speug sent round in +Nestie's charge, to a selected rendezvous as being next door to +babies--had climbed five dykes, all with loose stones, fought through +three thickets very prickly indeed, crawled underneath two hedges, +crossed three burns, one coming up to the knees, and mired themselves +times without number. Cosh had jostled against Speug in leaping from one +dry spot to another and come down rolling in the mud, which made his +appearance from behind wonderful; Speug, in helping Thomas John out of a +very entangling place, had been so zealous that the seat had been almost +entirely detached from Thomas John's trousers, and although Mr. Byles +had done his best with pins, the result was not edifying; his brother's +straw hat had fallen in the exact spot where Speug landed as he jumped +from a wall, and was of no further service, and so the younger +Dowbiggin--"who is so refined in his ways," as his mother used to +say--wore as his headgear a handkerchief which had been used for +cleaning the mud from his clothes. Upon Mr. Byles, whom fate might have +spared, misfortunes had accumulated. His trousers had been sadly mangled +from the knee downwards as he crawled through a hole, and had to be +wound round his legs with string, and although Speug had pulled his cap +out of a branch, he had done his work so hastily as to leave the peak +behind, and he was so clumsy, with the best intentions, that he allowed +another branch to slip, which caught Mr. Byles on the side of the head +and left a mark above his eye, which distinctly suggested a prizefight +to anyone not acquainted with that gentleman's blameless character. +Peter himself had come unscathed from the perils of land and water, save +a dash of mud here and there and a suspicion of wet about his feet, +which shows how bad people fare better than good. The company was so +bedraggled and discouraged that their minds did not seem set on wild +flowers, and in these circumstances Peter, ever obliging and thoughtful, +led the botanists to a pleasant glade, away from thickets and bogs, +where the pheasants made their home and swarmed by hundreds. Mr. Byles +was much cheered by this change of environment, and grew eloquent on the +graceful shape and varied plumage of the birds. They were so friendly +that they gathered round the party, which was not wonderful, as a keeper +fed them every day, but which Mr. Byles explained was due to the +instinct of the beautiful creatures, "who know, my dear boys, that we +love them." He enlarged on the cruelty of sport, and made the Dowbiggins +promise that they would never shoot pheasants or any other game, and +there is no reason to doubt that they kept their word, as they did not +know one end of a gun from another, and would no sooner have dared to +fire one than they would have whistled on Sunday. A happy thought +occurred to Mr. Byles, and he suggested that they should now have their +lunch and feed the birds with the fragments. He was wondering also +whether it would be wrong to snare one of the birds in the net, just to +hold it in the hand and let it go again. + +[Illustration: "THEY WERE SO FRIENDLY THAT THEY GATHERED ROUND THE +PARTY."] + +When things had come to this pass--and he never had expected anything so +good--Speug withdrew unobtrusively behind a clump of trees, and then ran +swiftly to a hollow where Nestie was waiting with the juniors. + +"Noo, my wee men," said Peter to the innocents, "div ye see that path? +Cut along it as hard as ye can leg, and it 'ill bring you to the +Muirtown Road, and never rest till ye be in your own houses. For Byles +and these Dowbiggins are carryin' on sic a game wi' Lord Kilspindie's +pheasants that I'm expectin' to see them in Muirtown jail before nicht. +Ye may be thankful," concluded Peter piously, "that I savit ye from sic +company." + +"Nestie," Peter continued, when the boys had disappeared, "I've never +clypit (told tales) once since I cam to the Seminary, and it's no' a +nice job, but div ye no' think that the head keeper should know that +poachers are in the preserves?" + +"It's a d-duty, Peter," as they ran to the keeper's house, "especially +when there's a g-gang of them and such b-bad-looking fellows--v-vice +just written on their faces. It's horried to see boys so young and so +w-wicked." + +"What young prodigals are yon comin' skelpin' along, as if the dogs were +aifter them?" and the head keeper came out from the kennels. "Oh, it's +you, Speug--and what are you doin' in the woods the day? there's no eggs +now." For sporting people are a confederacy, and there was not a +coachman or groom, or keeper or ratcatcher, within twelve miles of +Muirtown, who did not know Mr. McGuffie senior, and not many who did not +also have the acquaintance of his hopeful son. + +"Nestie and me were just out for a run to keep our wind richt, an' we +cam on a man and three boys among the pheasants in the low park." + +"Among the what? Meddlin' with Lord Kilspindie's birds?" + +"Well, I dinna ken if they were juist poachin', but they were feedin' +them, and we saw a net." + +"Sandie," shouted the head keeper, "and you, Tom, get up out of yir beds +this meenut; the poachers are after the pheasants. My word, takin' them +alive, as I'm a livin' man, to sell them for stock: and broad daylight; +it beats everything. He 'ill be an old hand, frae Dundee maist likely. +And the impidence o't, eleven o'clock in the forenoon an' the end o' +September. Dod: it's a depairture in poachin'." And as the sight of Mr. +Byles burst on his view, surrounded by trustful birds, and the two +Dowbiggins trying very feebly to drop the net on a specially venturesome +one, the head keeper almost lost the power of speech. + +"Dinna let us interrupt you," and Mr. Byles looked up to see three armed +keepers commanding their helpless party, and one of them purple with +rage. "I hope we don't intrude; maybe we could give you a hand in +catchin' the birds, and if a spring-cart would be of ony use ... +confound your cheek! + +"Gathering flowers, are ye, and gave the pheasants a biscuit, did ye, +and the boys thought they would like to stroke one, would they? How is +that, lads? I've seen two or three poachers in my time, but for +brazen-faced lyin' I've never seen your match. Maybe you're a +Sabbath-school out for a trip, or an orphan asylum? + +"Assistant mathematical master at the Seminary, that's what you are, is +it, ye awfu' like blackguard, an' the laddies are the sons o' a +respectable Free Kirk minister, the dirty dogs? Are ye sure ye're no' +the principal o' Edinburgh University? Tak' yir time and try again. I'm +enjoying it. Is't by the hundred ye sell them, and wud it be a leeberty +to ask for whose preserves? Dash the soople tongue o' ye. + +"If ye dare to put yir hand in a pocket, I'll lodge a charge o' shot in +ye: we'ill hae nae pistol-work in Kilspindie Woods. Come along wi' ye, +professor an' students, an' I'll give ye a ride into Muirtown, an' +we'ill just be in time to catch the magistrate. He hasna tried a learned +institution like this since he mounted the bench. March in front, but +dinna try to run, or it will be the waur for ye. Ma certes, sic a band +o' waufies!" + +Then those two officers of justice, Peter and Nestie, having seen all +without being seen, now started for Muirtown to gather the kite-players +and as many of the Seminary as could be found to see the arrival of the +botanists. They were brought in a large spring-cart--Mr. Byles seated +between the head keeper and the driver, in front, and the other three +huddled like calves in the space behind--a mass of mud, tatters, and +misery, from which the solemn, owl-like face of Thomas John, whose cap +was now gone also, looked out in hopeless amazement. As they were handed +over to the police the Seminary, which had been at first struck dumb, +recovered speech and expressed itself with much vivacity. + +"Who would have thought Byles had as much spirit? Sall, he 'ill be +rinnin' horses at Muirtown Races yet;" "For ony sake walk backwards, +Thomas--yir breeks are barely decent;" "The pheasants have been hard on +yir legs, Cosh;" "Where's the geranniums?" "Has his Lordship kept yir +bonnet, Dowbiggin?" "It 'ill be a year's hard labour." For boys are only +in the savage state, and the discomfiture of such immaculate +propriety was very sweet to the Seminary. + +[Illustration: "THEY WERE BROUGHT IN A LARGE SPRING CART."] + +So powerful was the evidence of the head keeper, who saw in Mr. Byles's +effort a new and cunning form of poaching he was not prepared for, and +so weird was the appearance of the prisoners, that the Bailie on duty +was for sentencing them at once, and would hardly wait for the testimony +of friends. It took the sworn testimony of the Rector of the Seminary +and poor Dr. Dowbiggin, summoned from their studies in hot haste and +confusion of face, to clear the accused, and even then the worthy +magistrate thought it proper, as Scots magistrates do, to administer a +rebuke and warning so solemn that it became one of the treasures of +memory for all Seminary lads. + +"After what I have heard I cannot convict you, and you may go this time; +but let me never see you here again in such circumstances. It's fearsome +to think that an educated man"--this to Byles--"instead of setting an +example to the laddies under your charge, should be accused of a mean +and cunning offence against the laws of the land, and I cannot look at +your face without having grave doubts. And to think that the sons of a +respected minister of the kirk should be found in such company, and with +all the appearance of vagrants, must be a great trial to their father, +and I am sure he has the sympathy of Muirtown. As for you, Cosh, I +never expected to see the son of a brother bailie in such a position. +All I can hope is that this will be a lesson to you to keep clear of +evil companions and evil ways, and that you may live to be a respectable +citizen. But do not presume on your escape to-day--that is all I have to +say." + +Outside the court-room the head keeper caught Speug and gave him his +mind. + +"Ye're a limb o' Satan, Peter McGuffie, and that English-speakin' imp is +little better. My belief is that this has been a pliskie (trick) o' +yours frae beginning to end, and I just give ye one word o' +advice--don't let me catch you in Kilspindie Woods, or it will be the +worse for you." + + + + +THE COUNT + +VII + + +If you excluded two or three Englishmen who spoke with an accent +suggestive of an effeminate character, and had a fearsome habit of +walking on the Sabbath, and poor "Moossy," the French master at the +Seminary, who was a quantity not worth considering, the foreign element +in Muirtown during the classical days consisted of the Count. He never +claimed to be a Count, and used at first to deprecate the title, but he +declined the honour of our title with so much dignity that it seemed +only to prove his right, and by and by he answered to the name with +simply a slight wave of his hand which he meant for deprecation, but +which came to be considered a polite acknowledgement. His real name was +not known in Muirtown--not because he had not given it, but because it +could not be pronounced, being largely composed of x's and k's, with an +irritating parsimony of vowels. We had every opportunity of learning to +spell it, if we could not pronounce it, for it was one of the Count's +foreign ways to carry a card-case in his ticket-pocket, and on being +introduced to an inhabitant of Muirtown to offer his card with the right +hand while he took off his hat with the left, and bowed almost to a +right angle. Upon those occasions a solid man like Bailie MacFarlane +would take hold of the card cautiously, not knowing whether so unholy a +name might not go off and shatter his hand; and during the Count's +obeisance, which lasted for several seconds, the Bailie regarded him +with grave disapproval. The mind of Muirtown, during this performance of +the Count's, used to be divided between regret that any human being +should condescend to such tricks, and profound thankfulness that +Muirtown was not part of a foreign country where people were brought up +with the manners of poodles. Our pity for foreigners was nourished by +the manner of the Count's dress, which would have been a commonplace on +a _boulevard_, but astounded Muirtown on its first appearance, and +always lent an element of piquant interest to our streets. His perfectly +brushed hat, broadish in the brim and curled at the sides, which he wore +at the faintest possible angle, down to his patent leather boots, which +it was supposed he obtained in Paris, and wore out at the rate of a pair +a month--all was unique and wonderful, but it was his frock-coat which +stimulated conversation. It was so tight and fitted so perfectly, +revealing the outlines of his slender form, and there was such an +indecent absence of waist--waist was a strong point with Muirtown men, +and in the case of persons who had risen to office, like the Provost, +used to run to fifty inches--that a report went round the town that the +Count was a woman. This speculation was confirmed rather than refuted by +the fact that the Count smoked cigarettes, which he made with Satanic +ingenuity while you were looking at him, and that he gave a display of +fencing with the best swordsman of a Dragoon regiment in the barracks, +for it was shrewdly pointed out that those were just the very +accomplishments of French "Cutties." This scandal might indeed have +crystallised into an accepted fact, and the Provost been obliged to +command the Count's departure, had it not been for the shrewdness and +good nature of the "Fair Maid of Muirtown." There always was a fair maid +in Muirtown--and in those days she was fairest of her succession: let +this flower lie on her grave. She declared to her friends that she had +watched the Count closely and had never once seen him examine a woman's +dress when the woman wasn't looking; and after that no person of +discernment in Muirtown had any doubt about the Count's sex. It was, +however, freely said--and that story was never contradicted--that he +wore stays, and every effort was made to obtain the evidence of his +landlady. Her gossips tried Mistress Jamieson with every wile of +conversation, and even lawyers' wives, pretending to inquire for rooms +for a friend, used to lead the talk round to the Count's habits; but +that worthy matron was loyal to her lodger, and was not quite insensible +to the dignity of a mystery. + +"Na, na, Mistress Lunan, I see what you're after; but beggin' your +pardon, a landlady's a landlady, and my mouth's closed. The Count disna +ken the difference atween Saturday and Sabbath, and the money he wastes +on tobacco juist goes to ma heart; but he never had the blessin' of a +Gospel ministry nor the privileges of Muirtown when he was young. As +regards stays, whether he wears them or disna wear them I'm no' prepared +to say, for I thank goodness that I've never yet opened a lodger's boxes +nor entered a lodger's room when he was dressin'. The Count pays his +rent in advance every Monday morning; he wanted to pay on Sabbath, but I +told him it was not a lawful day. He gives no trouble in the house, and +if his doctor ordered him to wear stays to support his spine, which I'm +no' sayin' he did, Mistress Lunan, it's no concern o' mine, and the +weather is inclining to snow." + +His dress was a perfect fabric of art, however it may have been +constructed; and it was a pleasant sight to see the Count go down our +main street on a summer afternoon, approving himself with a side glance +in the mirrors of the larger shops, striking an attitude at our +bookseller's when a new print was exposed in the window, waving his +cigarette and blowing the smoke through his nostrils, which was +considered a "tempting of Providence," making his respectful salutations +to every lady whom he knew, and responding with "Celestial, my friend!" +to Bailie MacFarlane's greeting of "Fine growing weather." When he +sailed past McGuffie's stable-yard, like Solomon in all his glory, that +great man, who always persisted in regarding the Count as a sporting +character, would touch the rim of his hat with his forefinger--an honour +he paid to few--and, after the Count had disappeared, would say "Gosh!" +with much relish. This astounding spectacle very early attracted the +attention of the Seminary boys, and during his first summer in Muirtown +it was agreed that he would make an excellent target for snowball +practice during next winter. The temptation was not one which could have +been resisted, and it is to be feared that the Count would have been +confined to the house when the snow was on the ground had it not been +for an incident which showed him in a new light, and established him, +stays or no stays, in the respect of the Seminary for ever. There had +been a glorious fight on the first day of the war with the "Pennies," +and when they were beaten, a dozen of them, making a brave rearguard +fight, took up their position with the Count's windows as their +background. There were limits to license even in those brave old days, +and it was understood that the windows of houses, especially private +houses, and still more especially in the vicinity of the Seminary, +should not be broken, and if they were broken the culprits were hunted +down and interviewed by "Bulldog" at length. When the "Pennies" placed +themselves under the protection of the Count's glass, which was really +an unconscious act of meanness on their part, the Seminary distinctly +hesitated; but Speug was in command, and he knew no scruples as he knew +no fear. + +"Dash the windows!" cried the Seminary captain; and when the "Pennies" +were driven along the street, the windows had been so effectually dashed +that there was not a sound pane of glass in the Count's sitting-room. As +the victorious army returned to their capital, and the heat of battle +died down, some anxiety about to-morrow arose even in minds not given to +care, for Mistress Jamieson was not the woman to have her glass broken +for nothing, and it was shrewdly suspected that the Count, with all his +dandyism, would not take this affront lightly. As a matter of fact, +Mistress Jamieson made a personal call upon the Rector that evening, and +explained with much eloquence to that timid, harassed scholar that, +unless his boys were kept in better order, Muirtown would not be a place +for human habitation; and before she left she demanded the blood of the +offenders; she also compared Muirtown in its present condition to Sodom +and Gomorrah. As the Rector was always willing to leave discipline in +the capable hands of Bulldog, and as the chief sinners would almost +certainly be in his class in the forenoon, the Count, who had witnessed +the whole battle from a secure corner in his sitting-room, and had +afterwards helped Mistress Jamieson to clear away the _débris_, went to +give his evidence and identify the culprit. He felt it to be a dramatic +occasion, and he rose to its height; and the school retained a grateful +recollection of Bulldog and the Count side by side--the Count carrying +himself with all the grace and dignity of a foreign ambassador come to +settle an international dispute, and Bulldog more austere than ever, +because he hated a "tellpyet," and yet knew that discipline must be +maintained. + +The Count explained with many flourishes that he was desolated to come +for the first time to this so distinguished a Gymnasium upon an errand +so distasteful, but that a lady had laid her commands on him ("Dis the +body mean Lucky Jamieson?" whispered Speug to a neighbour), and he had +ever been a slave of the sex (Bulldog at this point regarded him with a +disdain beyond words.) The Rector of this place of learning had also +done him, an obscure person, the honour of an invitation to come and +assist at this function of justice; and although, as the Count +explained, he was no longer a soldier, obedience was still the breath of +his nostrils. Behold him, therefore, the servant of justice, ready to be +questioned or to lay down his life for law; and the Count bowed again to +Bulldog, placing his hand upon his heart, and then leant in a becoming +attitude against the desk, tapping his shining boots with his cane, and +feeling that he had acquitted himself with credit. + +"We're sorry to bring ye out on such a day, sir," and Bulldog's glance +conveyed that such a figure as the Count's ought not to be exposed in +snowtime; "but we'll not keep ye long, and Ill juist state the +circumstances with convenient brevity. The boys of the Seminary are +allowed to exercise themselves in the snowtime within limits. If they +fight wi' neighbouring schools, it's a maitter of regret; but if they +break windows, they're liable to the maist extreme penalty. Now, I'm +informed that some of the young scoundrels--and I believe the very +laddies are in this class-room at this meenut" (Speug made no effort to +catch Bulldog's eye, and Howieson's attention was entirely occupied with +mathematical figures)--"have committed a breach of the peace at Mistress +Jamieson's house. What I ask you, sir, to do"--and Bulldog regarded the +Count with increasing disfavour, as he thought of such a popinjay giving +evidence against his laddies--"is, to look round this class-room and +point out, so far as ye may be able, any boy or boys who drove a +snowball or snowballs through the windows of your residence." + +During this judicial utterance the eyes of the Count wandered over the +school with the most provoking intelligence, and conveyed even to the +dullest, with a vivacity of countenance of which Muirtown was not +capable, that Bulldog was a tiresome old gentleman, that the boys were a +set of sad dogs, capable of any mischief, that some of them were bound +to get a first-class thrashing, and worst of all that he, the Count, +knew who would get it, and that he was about to give evidence in an +instant with the utmost candour and elegance of manner. When his glance +lighted on Speug it was with such a cheerful and unhesitating +recognition that Speug was almost abashed, and knew for certain that for +him at least, there could be no escape; while Howieson, plunging into +arithmetic of his own accord for once, calculated rapidly what would be +his share of the broken glass. Neither of them would have denied what he +did to save himself twenty thrashings; but they shared Bulldog's disgust +that a free-born Scot should be convicted on the evidence of a +foreigner, whom they always associated in his intellectual gifts and +tricks of speech with the monkey, which used to go round seated on the +top of our solitary barrel-organ. + +"When it is your pleasure, sir," said Bulldog sternly; and there was a +silence that could be felt, whilst Speug already saw himself pointed out +with the Count's cane. + +The shutters went suddenly down on the Count's face; he became grave and +anxious, and changed from a man of the world, who had been exchanging a +jest with a few gay Bohemians, into a witness in the Court of Justice. + +"Assuredly, monsieur, I will testify upon what you call my soul and +conscience," and the Count indicated with his hand where both those +faculties were contained. "I will select the boy who had audacity, I +will say profanity, to break the windows of my good friend and hostess, +Madame Jamieson." + +The Count gave himself to the work of selection, but there was no longer +a ray of intelligence in his face. He was confused and perplexed, he +looked here and he looked there, he made little impatient gestures, he +said a bad French word, he flung up a hand in despair, he turned to +Bulldog with a frantic gesture, as of a man who thought he could have +done something at once, and found he could not do it at all. Once more +he faced the school, and then Speug, with that instinct of acute +observation which belongs to a savage, began to understand, and gave +Howieson a suggestive kick. + +"As a man of honour," said the Count with much solemnity, "I give my +testimony, and I declare that I do not see one of the boys who did +forget themselves yesterday and did offer the insult of an assault to +Madame's domicile." + +And it would have been curious if he had seen the boys, for the Count +was looking over their heads, and studying the distant view of the +meadow and the River Tay with evident interest and appreciation. + +The mind of Speug was now clear upon the Count, and Bulldog also +understood, and in two seconds, so quick is the flash of sympathy +through a mass of boy life, the youngest laddie in the mathematical +class-room knew that, although the Count might have had the misfortune +to be born in foreign parts, and did allow himself to dress like a +dancing-master, inside that coat, and the stays too, if he had them on, +there was the heart of a man who would not tell tales on any fellow, and +who also liked his bit of fun. + +"It's a peety, Count," said Bulldog, with poorly concealed satisfaction, +"that ye're no' in a poseetion to recognise the culprits, for if they're +no' here my conviction is they're no' to be found in Muirtown. We can +ask no more of ye, sir, and we're much obleeged for yir attendance." + +"It is a felicitous affair," said the Count, "which has the fortune to +introduce me to this charming company," and the Count bowed first to +Bulldog and then to the school with such a marked indication in one +direction that Speug almost blushed. "My sorrow is to be so stupid a +witness; but, monsieur, you will allow me to pay the penalty of my poor +eyesight. It will be my pleasure," and again the Count bowed in all +directions, "to replace the glass in Madame's house, and the incident, +pouf! it is forgotten." + +There was a swift glance from all parts of the class-room, and +permission was read in Bulldog's face. Next instant the mathematical +class-room was rent with applause, such as could only be given when +fifty such lads wanted to express their feelings, and Speug led the +circus. + +"Ye will allow me to say, sir," and now Bulldog came as near as possible +to a bow, "that ye have acted this day as a gentleman, and so far as the +boys of Muirtown Seminary are concerned ye're free to come and go among +us as ye please." + +The departure of the Count, still bowing, with Bulldog attending him to +the door and offering him overshoes to cover the polished leather boots, +was a sight to behold, and the work done for the rest of the morning was +not worth mentioning. + +During the lunch hour the school was harangued in short, pithy terms by +Speug, and in obedience to his invitation Muirtown Seminary proceeded in +a solid mass to the Count's residence, where they gave a volley of +cheers. The Count was more gratified than by anything that had happened +to him since he came to Muirtown; and throwing up one of the newly +repaired windows he made an eloquent speech, in which he referred to Sir +Walter Scott and Queen Mary and the Fair Maid of Perth, among other +romantic trifles; declared that the fight between the "Pennies" and the +Seminary was worthy of the great Napoleon; pronounced Speug to be _un +brave garçon_; expressed his regret that he could not receive the +school in his limited apartments, but invited them to cross with him to +the Seminary tuck-shop, where he entertained the whole set to Mistress +MacWhae's best home-made ginger-beer. He also desired that Mistress +Jamieson should come forward to the window with him and bow to the +school, while he held her hand--which the Count felt would have been a +really interesting tableau. It certainly would have been, but Mistress +Jamieson refused to assist in the most decided terms. + +"Me stand wi' the Count at an open window, hand in hand wi' him, and +bowin', if ye please, to thae blackguard laddies? Na, na; I'm a widow o' +good character, and a member o' the Free Kirk, and it would ill set me +to play such tricks. But I'll say this for the Count--he behaved +handsome; and I'm judgin' the'll no' be another pane o' glass broken in +my house so long as the Count is in it." And there never was. + +It were not possible to imagine anything more different than a Muirtown +boy and the Count; but boys judge by an instinct which never fails +within its own range, and Muirtown Seminary knew that, with all his +foreign ways, the Count was a man. Legends gathered around him and +flourished exceedingly, being largely invented by Nestie, and offered +for consumption at the mouth of the pistol by Speug, who let it be +understood that to deny or even to smile at Nestie's most incredible +invention would be a ground of personal offence. The Count was in turn +a foreign nobleman, who had fallen in love with the Emperor of Austria's +daughter and had been exiled by the imperial parent, but that the +Princess was true to the Count, and that any day he might be called from +Mistress Jamieson's lodgings to the palace of Vienna; that he was +himself a king of some mysterious European State, who had been driven +out by conspirators, but whose people were going to restore him, and +that some day Speug would be staying with the Count in his royal abode +and possibly sitting beside him on the throne. During this romance Speug +felt it right to assume an air of demure modesty, which was quite +consistent with keeping a watchful eye on any impertinent young rascal +who might venture to jeer, when Speug would politely ask him what he was +laughing at, and offer to give him something to laugh for. That the +Count was himself a conspirator, and the head of a secret society which +extended all over Europe, with signs and passwords, and that whenever +any tyrant became intolerable, the warrant for his death was sent from +Mistress Jamieson's. Whenever one fable grew hackneyed Nestie produced +another, and it was no longer necessary in Muirtown Seminary to buy +Indian tales or detective stories, for the whole library of fiction was +now bound up and walking about in the Count. + +[Illustration: "WATCHING A BATTLE ROYAL BETWEEN THE TOPS."] + +Between him and the boys there grew up a fast friendship, and he was +never thoroughly happy now unless he was with his "jolly dogs." He +attended every cricket match, and at last, after he had learned how, +kept the score, giving a cheer at every new run and tearing his hair +when any of his boys were bowled out. He rushed round the football field +without his cane, and generally without his hat; and high above all +cheers could be heard his "Bravo--bravo, forwards! Speug!" as that +enterprising player cleft his way through the opponent's ranks. It +mattered nothing to the Count that his boots were ruined, and his +speckless clothes soiled, he would not have cared though he had burst +his stays, so long as the "dogs" won, and he could go up in glory with +them to Janet MacWhae's and drink to their health in flowing +ginger-beer. During the play hour his walk seemed ever to bring him to +the North Meadow, and if a ball by accident, for none would have done it +by intention, knocked off the Count's hat, he cried "Hoor-r-rah!" in his +own pronunciation and bowed in response to this mark of attention. It +was a pretty sight to see him bending forward, his hands resting on his +knees, watching a battle royal between the tops of Speug and Howieson; +and if anything could be better it was to see the Count trying to spin a +top himself, and expostulating with it in unknown tongues. + +As the boys came to the school in the morning and went home in the +evening up Breadalbane Street, the Count was always sitting at one of +the windows which had been broken, ready to wave his hand to any one who +saluted him, and in the afternoon he would often open the window to get +the school news and to learn whether there would be a match on Saturday. +As time went on this alliance told upon the Count's outer man; he never +lost his gay manner, nor his pretty little waist, nor could he ever have +been taken for a Scot, nor ever, if he had lived to the age of +Methuselah, have been made an elder of the Kirk; but his boots grew +thicker, though they were always neat, and his clothes grew rougher, +though they were always well made, and his ties became quieter, and his +week-day hat was like that of other men, and, except on Sundays, +Muirtown never saw the glory of the former days. With his new interest +in life, everyone noticed that the Count had grown simpler and kindlier, +and Muirtown folk, who used to laugh at him with a flavour of contempt, +began to love him through their boys. He would walk home with Bulldog on +a summer evening, the strangest pair that ever went together; and it was +said that many little improvements for the comfort of the lads, and many +little schemes for their happiness at Muirtown Seminary, were due to the +Count. It was believed that the time did come when he could have +returned to his own land, but that he did not go because he was a lonely +man and had found his friends in Muirtown; and when he died, now many +years ago, he left his little all for the benefit of his "jolly dogs," +and the Count, who had no mourners of his blood, was followed to his +grave by every boy at Muirtown Seminary. + + + + +A TOURNAMENT + +VIII + + +Since the day when Speug and a few young friends had broken every pane +of glass in the Count's windows, and the Count had paid for the damage +like a gentleman, that excellent foreigner had spent all his spare +cash--which we thought afterwards was not very much--in encouraging +athletic exercises among the Seminary lads. His zeal, like that of every +other convert, was much greater than his knowledge, and left to his own +devices he would certainly have gone far astray; but with the able +assistance of Speug, with whom he took intimate counsel, it was +astonishing what a variety could be infused into the sports. When every +ordinary competition had been held, and champions had been declared (and +this had never been done before in the history of the school) for the +hundred yards, the quarter, and the mile (the ten miles down the Carse +and over the top of Kinnoul Hill had been stopped by an impromptu +meeting of parents), for broad jumping and high jumping, for throwing +the cricket ball and kicking the football, Speug came out with a quite +new programme which was rapturously received, and had it not met with a +cross-providence would have lasted over four happy Saturdays and +considerably reduced the attendance at the Seminary. The first item was +a swimming match across the Tay, a river not to be trifled with, and +four boys were saved from death by a salmon cobble, whose owner +fortunately turned up to watch the sport. The Count was so excited by +this event that he not only lost his hat in the river, but being +prevented from going in to help, for the very good reason that he could +not swim a stroke, he took off and flung the coat, which was the marvel +of Muirtown, into the river, in the hope that it might serve as a +lifebelt. The second item, upon which Speug prided himself very much, +was a climbing match, and for this he had selected a tree which seemed +to be designed for the purpose, since it had a rook's nest on its +highest branch, and no branches at all for the first twenty feet. The +conditions were, that every boy above twelve should have his chance, and +the boy who climbed to the top, put his hand into the rook's nest, and +came down in the shortest time, should get the prize. The Seminary above +twelve were going up and down that tree a whole Saturday morning, and in +one kirk next day thanks were offered in the first prayer in peculiarly +dignified and guarded terms that half the families of Muirtown had not +been bereaved. As a matter of fact, nobody was killed, and no limbs +were broken, but Speug, who was not allowed to enter for this +competition, but acted as judge, with his tongue out all the time at the +sight of the sport, had to go up twice on errands of mercy, once to +release his friend Howieson, who had missed a branch and was hanging by +his feet, and the second time to succour Pat Ritchie, who was suspended +by the seat of his trousers, swaying to and fro like a gigantic apple on +the branch. It was understood that the Seminary had never enjoyed +themselves so entirely to their heart's content, but the Count's moral +courage failed during the performance, and at the most critical moment +he was afraid to look. When Muirtown got wind of this last achievement +of Speug's, indignation meetings were held at church-doors and street +corners, and it was conveyed to the Rector--who knew nothing about the +matter, and was so absent-minded that if he had passed would never have +seen what was going on--that if Providence was going to be tempted in +this fashion again, the matter would be brought before the Town Council. +The Count himself would have been faithfully dealt with had he not been +considered a helpless tool in the hands of Speug, who was now understood +to have filled the cup of his sins up to the brim. He might indeed have +been at last expelled from the Seminary, of which he was the chief +ornament, had it not been that the Count went to the Rector and +explained that the idea had been his from beginning to end, and that it +was with the utmost difficulty he could induce Speug even to be present. +For, as I said, the Count was a perfect gentleman, and always stood by +his friends through thick and thin; but the thrashing which Speug got +from Bulldog was monumental, and in preparation for it that ingenious +youth put on three folds of underclothing. + +What Speug bitterly regretted, however, was not the punishment, which +was cheap at the money, but the loss of the next two items in his +programme. He had planned a boxing competition, in which the main +feature was to be a regular set-to between Dunc Robertson and himself, +to decide finally which was the better man, for they had fought six +times and the issue was still doubtful; and Speug, who had a profligate +genius outside the class-rooms, had also imagined a pony race with +hurdles; and as about twenty fellows, farmers' sons and others, had +ponies, of which they were always bragging, and Speug had the pick of +his father's stables, he modestly believed that the affair would be +worth seeing. When the hurdle race was forbidden, for which Speug had +already begun to make entries and to arrange weights with his father's +valuable assistance, he took the matter so much to heart that his health +gave way, and Mr. McGuffie senior had to take him to recruit at the +Kilmarnock Races, from which he returned in the highest spirits and full +of stories. + +For some time after this painful incident the Count lay low and adopted +a deprecating manner when he met the fathers and mothers of Muirtown; +but he gave his friends to understand that his resources were not at an +end, and that he had a surprise in store for the Seminary. Speug ran +over every form of sport in casual conversation to discover what was in +the Count's mind, but he would not be drawn and grew more mysterious +every day. One Saturday evening in midsummer he took Speug and Nestie +into his confidence, explaining that his idea would be announced to the +assembled school by himself next Wednesday, and that it had nothing to +do, as Speug had hinted in turn, with rats, or rabbits, or fencing, or +the sword dance. With their permission he would say one word which would +be enough for persons of so distinguished an imagination, and that word +was "Tournament;" and then he would speak of nothing else except the +beauty of the evening light upon the river, which he declared to be +"ravishing," and the excellence of a certain kind of chocolate which he +carried in his pocket, and shared generously with his "dogs." As he +parted with his friends the Count tapped his nose and winked at +them--"Tournament--great, magnificent, you will see, ha, ha! you will +see;" and Speug went home in a state of utter confusion, coming finally +to the conclusion that the Count intended to introduce some French game, +and in that case it would be his painful duty to oppose the Count tooth +and nail, for everybody knew that French games were only for girls, and +would bring endless disgrace upon Muirtown Seminary. During Sunday +Nestie had turned the matter over in his mind, and being full of Scott's +novels he was able on Monday to give the astonished school a full +programme with the most minute particulars. The tournament was to be +held in the North Meadow; the judge was to be the Commander of the +cavalry at the barracks; John Chalmers, the town's bellman, was to be +herald; the Fair Maid of Perth was to be the Queen of Beauty; and the +combatants were to be such knights as Robertson, Howieson, and of course +Speug. Each knight was to be in armour, and Nestie freely suggested +dish-covers would be useful as breastplates, broom-handles would come in +conveniently for lances, and as ponies were now forbidden, sturdy boys +of the lower forms would be used instead. The two knights who challenged +one another would rush from opposite ends of the lists, meet in the +centre, lance upon breastplate, horse to horse, and man to man, and the +one that overthrew the other would receive the prize; and at the thought +of such a meeting between Speug and Dunc Robertson, each in full armour, +the delighted school smacked their lips. + +"Muirtown Races 'ill be nothing to it," said Ritchie. "I'll lay anybody +a shilling that Speug coups (capsizes) Dunc the first meeting; +but"--feeling as if it were almost too good to be true--"I dinna +believe a word o't. Nestie is a fearsome liar." And after the school had +spoken of nothing else for a day, Dunc Robertson asked the Count boldly +whether such things were true. + +"_Mon ami_," said the Count, who had tasted Nestie's romance with much +relish, "you will pardon me, but it is a _banalité_, that is what you +call a stupidity, to ask whether so good a _jeu d'esprit_ is true. True? +Truth is a dull quality, it belongs to facts; but Nestie, he does not +live among facts, he flies in the air, in the atmosphere of poetry. He +is a _raconteur_. A tournament with knights on the North Meadow--good! +Our little Nestie, he has been reading _Ivanhoe_ and he is a +troubadour." And the Count took off his hat in homage to Nestie's +remarkable powers as an author of fiction. + +"But yes, it will be a tournament; but not for the body, for the mind. +My dogs are jolly dogs; they can run, they can leap, they can swim, they +can kick the ball; now they must think, ah! so deep. They must write +their very best words, they must show that they have beautiful minds; +and they will do so, I swear they will, in the tournament, which will +not be on the meadow--no; too many cows there, and too many washers of +clothes--but in seclusion, in the class-room of that brave man called +the Bulldog. It will be a battle," concluded the Count with enthusiasm, +"of heads: and the best head, that head will have the prize, _voilà_." + +"Silence!" and Bulldog brought his cane down upon his desk that +Wednesday afternoon when the whole upper school was gathered in his +class-room, bursting with curiosity. "The Count has a proposeetion to +lay before you which he will explain in his own words and which has the +sanction of the Rector. Ye will be pleased to give the Count a +respectful hearing, as he deserves at yir hands." And Bulldog was there +to see that the Count's deserts and his treatment strictly corresponded. + +"Monsieur," and the Count bowed to Bulldog, "and you," and now he bowed +to the boys, "all my friends of the Seminary, I have the honour to ask a +favour which your politeness will not allow you to refuse. Next Saturday +I will dare to hold a reception in this place, with the permission of +the good Bull---- I do forget myself--I mean the distinguished master. +And when you come, I promise you that I will not offer you coffee--pouf! +it is not for the brave boys I see before me, _non_," and the Count +became very roguish. "I will put a leetle, very leetle sentence on +the----" ("Blackboard," suggested Bulldog). "_Merci_, yes, the +blackboard; no, the honourable master he will have the goodness to write +it in his so beautiful characters. One sentence, that is all, and you +will sit for one hour in this room where you make your studies, and you +will write all the beautiful things which come into your heads about +that sentence. You will then do me the pleasure of letting me carry +home all those beautiful things, and I will read them; and the writer +who affects me most, I will ask him to accept a book of many volumes, +and the Lor' Mayor" ("Provost," interpolated Bulldog) "will present it +on the great day in the Town Hall. + +"No one, not even the honourable master himself, will know that leetle +sentence till it be written on the--the----" ("Blackboard," said +Bulldog, with asperity), "and every boy will be able to write many +things about that sentence. The scholars upon whom I do felicitate the +honourable master will write much learning," and the Count made a +graceful inclination in the direction of the two Dowbiggins; "and the +brave boys who love the sport, they will also write, ah! ah!"--and the +Count nodded cheerfully in the direction of Speug--"such wonderful +things. There will be no books; no, you will have your heads, and so it +will be the fair play, as you say," repeated the Count with much +satisfaction, "the fair play." + +Bulldog dismissed the school after he had explained that no one need +come unless he wished, but that anyone who didn't come was missing the +opportunity of securing an honourable distinction, and would also show +himself to be an ungrateful little scoundrel for all that the Count had +done for the Seminary. + +"Dod," said Jock Howieson, with much native shrewdness, "aifter all his +palaver it's naething but anither confounded exercise," for that worthy +had suffered much through impositions, and had never been able to +connect one sentence with another in an intelligent manner. "The +Dowbiggins can go if they want, and they're welcome to the books. I'm +going next Saturday to Woody Island--will you come, Speug?" And it hung +in the balance whether or not the Count would be openly affronted next +Saturday when he found himself in the company of half a dozen "swats," +while his "jolly dogs" were off in a pack to their island of romance. + +Speug could not imagine himself sitting in a class-room on Saturday +afternoon, except under brute force, and yet he felt it would be +ungrateful after all his kindness to leave the Count in the company of +such cheerless objects as the Dowbiggins. The remembrance of all the +sporting prizes he had won at the Count's hands, and the sight of the +Count cheering at the sports, came over his ingenuous heart and moved +him to the most unselfish act of his life. "Jock Howieson," said Speug, +with considerable dignity, "ye may go to Woody Island if ye like, but it +'ill be the dirtiest trick ye ever played, and I'll black both yir een +for ye on Monday. Have we ever had a match, cricket or football, the +last four years, and the Count hesna been there? Who got up the sports +and gave the prizes? Tell me that, Jock? Who stands ginger-beer at Lucky +MacWhae's, answer me that, Jock, ye meeserable wretch?" and then +clinching every argument on "Who paid for the broken glass? I'm doon +richt ashamed o' ye, Jock Howieson." + +"Will ye go yourself, Speug?" demanded Jock, writhing under this torrent +of reproach. "I think I see ye writin' an essay on the history o' the +Romans, or sic like trash. Ye 'ill hunt us into Bulldog's class-room, +and then go off yirsel to shoot rabbits; but ye 'ill no' play ony tricks +on me, Peter McGuffie." + +"I will go," said Speug, manfully, "though I'll no' promise to write." + +"Say as sure's death," said Jock, knowing Speug's wiles. + +"Sure as death," said Speug, and then the school knew, not only that he +would go, though he had to sit six hours instead of one, but also that +every self-respecting boy in the Seminary must also put in an appearance +at the Count's reception. + +"Best thing you ever did, Speug," said Nestie on the way home, "since +you p--pulled me out of the Tay, and I should say that you have a good +chance of the prize. What the Count wants is ori--gin--ginality, and I +never heard a chap with so much original talk as you've got, Speug. Just +you put some of it down, like what you give to the P--pennies, and +you'll come out first, and it'll be the first prize you ever won." + +"If there was a prize for impidence, and the entries were open to all +Scotland," said Speug, "ye would pass the post first and trottin'." + + "HOW I SPENT MY SATURDAY," + +was what the school saw on the board when the Count removed the white +cloth, and then he gave a brief exposition of his desires. + +"Have the goodness, if you please, to write, not what you ought, but +what you want. Were you at the cricket match, you will tell me of the +capture of the wickets; or you were in the country, I will hear of the +woods and the beautiful pheasants" (this delicate allusion to Mr. +Byles's poaching experiences was much appreciated); "or you were among +the books, then you will describe what you love in them; or you were +looking at a horse, I expect to hear about that horse"; and the whole +school understood that this was a direct invitation to Speug, to give an +exact picture of an Irish mare that his father had just bought. "The +subject, ah!" said the Count, "that does not matter; it is the manner, +the style, the _esprit_, that is what I shall value. I wish you all the +good success, and I will go a walk in the meadow till you have +finished." + +"Do yir best, laddies," said Bulldog, "for the credit of the school and +to please the Count. If I see ony laddie playing tricks I'll do my part +to teach him sobriety, and if I see one copying from another, out he +goes. Ye have one hour from this meenut, make the most o't," and the +tournament was open. + +Bulldog, apparently reading his morning paper, and only giving a casual +glance to see that no one took advantage of the strange circumstances, +was really watching his flock very closely, and checking his judgment of +each one by this new test. Dull, conscientious lads like the Dowbiggins +began at once, in order that they might not lose a moment of time, but +might put as much written stuff upon the paper as possible; yet now and +again they stopped and looked round helplessly because they had no books +and no tutor to assist them, and they realised for the first time how +little they had in their own heads. + +"Ha! ha!" said Bulldog to himself, "I kent ye were naithing but a +painted show, and it 'ill do ye good to find that out for yirselves." + +Jock Howieson and his kind regarded the whole matter as a new form of +entertainment, and as he could not have put into anything approaching +connected words the experiences of his last Saturday, he employed the +time in cutting up his unwritten paper into squares of an inch, and +making them into pellets with which he prevented the Dowbiggin mind from +being too much absorbed in study. He did this once too often, and +Bulldog went down to call upon him with a cane and with plain, simple +words. + +"His head is an inch thick," said Bulldog, as he went back to his desk, +"but there's the making of a man in Jock, though he 'ill never be able +to write a decent letter to save his life. He would suit the Scots Greys +down to the ground." + +Speug had given a solemn promise to Nestie, under the customary form of +oath, that he would write something, and whatever he wrote he would hand +in, though it was only twenty words, and Speug never went back from his +oath. When Howieson caught the Dowbiggin ear with a pellet there is no +doubt that a joyful light came into Speug's eyes, and he struggled with +strong temptation, and when old friends made facetious signs to him he +hesitated more than once, but in the end assumed an air of dignified +amazement, explaining, as it were, that his whole mind was devoted to +literary composition, and that he did not know what they meant by this +impertinent intrusion upon a student's privacy. Cosh certainly jumped +once in his seat as if he had been stung by a wasp, and it is certainly +true that at that moment there was a piece of elastic on the thumb and +first finger of Speug's left hand, but his right hand was devoted to +literature. The language which Cosh allowed himself to use in the heat +of the moment was so unvarnished that it came under Bulldog's attention, +who told him that if he wanted to say anything like that again he must +say it in Latin, and that he ought to take notice of the excellent +conduct of Peter McGuffie, who, Bulldog declared, was not at all +unlikely to win the prize. And as the master returned to his seat his +back was seen to shake, and the wink with which Speug favoured the +class, in a brief rest from labour, was a reward for an hour's drudgery. +Bulldog knew everybody up and down, out and in--what a poor creature +Cosh was, and what good stuff could be found in Speug; and he also knew +everything that was done--why Cosh had said what he said, and why Speug +at that moment was lost in study. Bulldog was not disappointed when +Nestie's face lighted up at the title of the essay, and he knew why his +favourite little lad did not write anything for fifteen minutes, but +looked steadily out at the window and across the North Meadow, and he +returned to his paper with a sense of keen satisfaction when Nestie at +last settled down to work and wrote without ceasing, except when now and +again he hesitated as for a word, or tried a sentence upon his ear to +know how it sounded. For the desire of Bulldog's heart was that Nestie +should win, and if--though that, of course, was too absurd--Speug by the +help of the favouring gods should come in second, Bulldog would feel +that he had not lived in vain. + +"Ye have three meenuts to dot your i's and stroke your t's," said +Bulldog, "and the Count will tell ye how ye're to sign yir names," and +then the Count, who had come in from his walk, much refreshed, advanced +again to the desk. + +"It would be one great joy to have your autographs," said the Count, +"and I would place them in a book and say, 'My friends'; but honour +forbids. As I shall have the too great responsibility of judging, it is +necessary that I be--ah! I have forgotten the word--yes! show the fair +play. No, I must not know the names; for if I read the name of my friend +the ever active, the ever brave, the ever interesting Speug" (at this +indecent allusion Speug grew purple and gave the bench in front of him +to understand by well-known signs that if they looked at him again he +might give them something to look for outside), "I would say that Speug +is a sportsman but he is not a _littérateur_, and I might not do my +comrade the full justice. And if I read the name of the composed, the +studious, the profound young gentlemen who are before me" (and it was +fortunate the Dowbiggins had their backs to the school), "I would know +that it must be the best before I read it, and that would not be the +fair play. + +"No! you will write on your admirable essay a motto--what you +please--and your name you will put in an envelope, so," and the Count +wrote his own name in the most dashing manner, and in an awful silence, +on a piece of paper, and closed the envelope with a graceful flourish: +"and outside you will put your motto, so it will be all the fair play, +and in the Town Hall next Saturday I shall have the felicity to declare +the result. _Voila!_ Has my plan your distinguished approbation?" and +the Count made a respectful appeal to Bulldog. "Nothing could be fairer, +you say? Then it is agreed, and I allow myself to wish you adieu for +this day." + +When the school assembled for conference among the Russian guns, their +minds were divided between two subjects. The first was what Speug had +written, on which that strenuous student would give no information, +resenting the inquiry both as an insult to his abilities and an +illustration of vain curiosity on the part of the school. Nestie, +however, volunteered the trustworthy information that Speug had spent +his whole time explaining the good which he had got from being kept in +one Saturday forenoon and doing mathematical problems under the eye of +Bulldog. And Nestie added that he thought it mean of Peter to "suck up" +to the master in this disgraceful fashion just for the sake of getting a +prize. Peter confided to Nestie afterwards that he had really done his +best to describe a close race for the Kilmarnock Cup, but that he didn't +think there were six words properly spelt from beginning to end, and +that if he escaped without a thrashing he would treat Nestie to half a +dozen bottles of ginger-beer. + +Regarding the winner--for that was the other subject--there was a +unanimous and sad judgment; that Dunc Robertson might have a chance, but +that Thomas John, the head of the Dowbiggins, would carry off the prize, +as he had carried off all the other prizes; and that, if so, they would +let him know how they all loved him at the Town Hall, and that it would +be wise for him to go home with the Count's prize and all the other +prizes in a cab, with the windows up. + +The prize-giving in the Town Hall was one of the great events in the +Muirtown year, and to it the memory of a Seminary lad goes back with +keen interest. All the forenoon the Provost and the bailies had been +sitting in the class-room of the Seminary, holding Latin books in their +hands, which they opened anywhere, and wagging their heads in solemn +approval over the translation by Thomas John and other chosen worthies, +while the parents wandered from place to place and identified their +sons, who refused to take any notice of them unless nobody was looking. +What mothers endured cannot be put into words, when they saw their +darling boys (whom they had seen dressed that morning in their Sunday +clothes, and sent away in perfect array, with directions that they were +not to break their collars nor soil their jackets, nor disarrange their +hair the whole day, or they need not come home in the evening) turn up +in a class-room before the respectables of Muirtown as if their heads +had not known a brush for six months, with Speug's autograph upon their +white collar, a button gone from their waistcoat, and an ounce of flour +in a prominent place on their once speckless jacket. + +"Yes," said one matron to another, with the calmness of despair, "that +is my Jimmy, I canna deny it; but ye may well ask, for he's more like a +street waufie than onything else. On a day like this, and when I see +what a sight he's made of himself in two hours I could almost wish he +had been born a girl." + +"Losh keep us, Mistress Chalmers, ye maunna speak like that, for it's no +chancy, he micht be taken away sudden, and ye would have regrets; forbye +your laddie's naithing to my Archie, for the last time I saw him, as I'm +a livin' woman, there wasna more than two inches of his necktie left, +and he was fishing his new Balmoral bonnet out of the water-barrel in +the playground. Ye needna expect peace if the Almichty give ye laddies, +but I wouldna change them for lassies--na, na, I'll no' go that length." + +And the two matrons sustained themselves with the thought that if their +boys were only a mere wreck of what they had been in the morning, other +people's boys were no better, and some of them were worse, for one of +them had inflicted such damages on his trousers that, although he was +able to face the public, he had to retire as from the royal presence; +nor was it at all unlike the motherly mind to conceive a malignant +dislike to the few boys who were spick and span, and to have a certain +secret pride even in their boys' disorder, which at any rate showed that +they were far removed from the low estate of lassies. + +The great function of the day came off at two o'clock, and before the +hour the hall was packed with fathers, mothers, sisters, elder brothers, +uncles, aunts, cousins and distant relatives of the boys, while the boys +themselves, beyond all control and more dishevelled than ever, were +scattered throughout the crowd. Some were sitting with their parents and +enduring a rapid toilet at the hands of their mothers; others were +gathered in clumps and arranging a reception for the more unpopular +prize-winners; others were prowling up and down the passages, exchanging +sweetmeats and responding (very coldly) to the greeting of relatives in +the seats, for the black terror that hung over every Seminary lad was +that he would be kissed publicly by a maiden aunt. Mr. Peter McGuffie +senior came in with the general attention of the audience, and seated +himself in a prominent place with Speug beside him. Not that Mr. +McGuffie took any special interest in prize-givings, and certainly not +because Speug had ever appeared in the character of a prize-winner. Mr. +McGuffie's patronage was due to his respect for the Count and his high +appreciation of what he considered the Count's sporting offer, and Mr. +McGuffie was so anxious to sustain the interest of the proceedings that +he was willing, although he admitted that he had no tip, to have a bet +with anyone in his vicinity on the winning horse. He also astonished his +son by offering to lay a sovereign on Nestie coming in first and half +a length ahead, which was not so much based upon any knowledge of +Nestie's literary qualifications as on the strange friendship between +Nestie and his promising son. As the respectable Free Kirk elder who sat +next Mr. McGuffie did not respond to this friendly offer, Mr. McGuffie +put a straw in his mouth and timed the arrival of the Provost. + +[Illustration: "BEFORE THE HOUR THE HALL WAS PACKED."] + +When that great dignitary, attended by the bailies and masters, together +with the notables of Muirtown, appeared on the platform, the boys +availed themselves of the license of the day, shouting, cheering, +yelling, whistling and bombarding all and sundry with pellets of paper +shot with extraordinary dexterity from little elastic catapults, till at +last Bulldog, who in the helplessness of the Rector always conducted the +proceedings, rose and demanded silence for the Provost, who explained at +wide intervals that he was glad to see his young friends (howls from the +boys) and also their respected parents (fresh howls, but not from the +parents); that he was sure the fathers and mothers were proud of their +boys to-day (climax of howls); that he had once been a boy himself +(unanimous shout of "No" from the boys); that he had even fought in a +snowball fight (loud expressions of horror); that he was glad the +Seminary was flourishing (terrific outburst, during which the Provost's +speech came to an end, and Bulldog rose to keep order). + +One by one the prize-winners were called up from the side of their fond +parents, and if they were liked and had won their prizes with the +goodwill of their fellows, each one received an honest cheer which was +heartier and braver than any other cheer of the day, and loud above it +sounded the voice of Speug, who, though he had never received a prize in +his life, and never would, rejoiced when a decent fellow like Dunc +Robertson, the wicket-keeper of the eleven and the half-back of the +fifteen, showed that he had a head as well as hands. When a prig got too +many prizes there was an eloquent silence in the hall, till at last a +loud, accurate and suggestive "Ma-a-a-a!" from Speug relieved the +feelings of the delighted school, and the unpopular prize-winner left +the platform amid the chorus of the farmyard--cows, sheep, horses, dogs, +cats and a triumphant ass all uniting to do him honour. It was their +day, and Bulldog gave them their rights, provided they did not continue +too long, and every boy believed that Bulldog had the same judgment as +themselves. + +To-day, however, the whole gathering was hungering and thirsting for the +declaration of the Count's prize, because there never had been such a +competition in Muirtown before, and the Count was one of our characters. +When he came forward, wonderfully dressed, with a rose in his buttonhole +and waving a scented handkerchief, and bowed to everybody in turn, from +the Provost to Mr. McGuffie, his reception was monumental and was +crowned by the stentorian approbation of Speug's father. Having thanked +the company for their reception, with his hand upon his heart, and +having assured the charming mothers of his young friends of his (the +Count's) most respectful devotion, and declared himself the slave of +their sisters, and having expressed his profound reverence for the +magistrates (at which several bailies tried to look as if they were only +men, but failed), the Count approached the great moment of the day. + +The papers, he explained upon his honour, were all remarkable, and it +had been impossible for him to sleep, because he could not tear himself +away from the charming reflections of his young friends. (As the boys +recognised this to be only a just compliment to their thoughtful +disposition and literary genius, Bulldog had at last to arise and quell +the storm.) There was one paper, however, which the Count compared to +Mont Blanc, because it rose above all the others. It was "ravishing," +the Count asserted, "superb"; it was, he added, the work of "genius." +The river, the woods, the flowers, the hills, the beautiful young women, +it was all one poem. And as the whole hall waited, refusing to breathe, +the Count enjoyed a great moment. "The writer of this distinguished +poem--for it is not prose, it is poetry--I will read his motto." Then +the Count read, "Faint Heart never Won Fair Lady," and turning to the +Provost, "I do myself the honour of asking your Excellency to open this +envelope and to read the name to this distinguished audience." Before +the Provost could get the piece of paper out of the envelope, Speug, who +was in the secret of the motto, jumped up on his seat and, turning with +his face to the audience, shouted at the pitch of his voice through the +stillness of the hall, "Nestie Molyneux." And above the great shout that +went up from the throat of the Seminary could be heard, full and clear, +the view-hallo of Mr. McGuffie senior, who had guessed the winner +without ever seeing the paper. + + + + +MOOSSY + +IX + + +If the eyes of an old boy do not light up at the mention of "Moossy," +then it is no use his pleading the years which have passed and the great +affairs which have filled his life; you know at once that he is an +impostor and has never had the privilege of passing through Muirtown +Seminary. Upon the genuine boy--fifty years old now, but green at +heart--the word is a very talisman, for at the sound of it the worries +of life and the years that have gone are forgotten, and the eyes light +up and the face relaxes, and the middle-aged man lies back in his chair +for the full enjoyment of the past. It was a rough life in the Seminary, +with plain food and strenuous games; with well-worn and well-torn +clothes; where little trouble was taken to give interest to your work, +and little praise awarded when you did it well; where you were bullied +by the stronger fellows without redress, and thrashed for very little +reason; where there were also many coarsenesses which were sickening at +the time to any lad with a sense of decency, and which he is glad, if he +can, to forget; but, at least, there was one oasis in the wilderness +where there was nothing but enjoyment for the boys, and that was the +"Department of Modern Languages," over which Moossy was supposed to +preside. + +Things have changed since Moossy's day, and now there is a graduate of +the University of Paris and a fearful martinet to teach young Muirtown +French, and a Heidelberg man with several degrees and four swordcuts on +his face to explain to Muirtown the mysteries of the German sentence. +Indignant boys, who have heard appetising tales of the days which are +gone, are compelled to "swat" at Continental tongues as if they were +serious languages like Latin and Greek, and are actually kept in if they +have not done a French verb. They are required to write an account of +their holidays in German, and are directed to enlarge their vocabulary +by speaking in foreign tongues among themselves. Things have come to +such a pass it is said--but I do not believe one word of this--that the +modern Speug, before he pulls off the modern Dowbiggin's bonnet and +flings it into the lade, which still runs as it used to do, will be +careful to say "_Erlauben Sie mir_," and that the modern Dowbiggin, +before rescuing his bonnet, will turn and inquire with mild surprise, +"_Was wollen Sie, mein Freund?_" and precocious lads will delight their +parents at the breakfast-table by asking for their daily bread in the +language and accent of Paris, because for the moment they have forgotten +English. It is my own firm conviction, and nothing can shake it, that +Muirtown lads are just as incapable of explaining their necessary wants +in any speech except their own as they were in the days of our fathers, +and that if a Seminary boy were landed in Calais to-day, he would get +his food at the buffet by making signs with his fingers, as his father +had done before him and as becomes a young barbarian. He would also take +care, as his fathers did, that he would not be cheated in his change nor +be put upon by any "Frenchy." Foreign graduates may do their best with +Seminary lads--and their kind elsewhere--but they will not find it easy +to shape their unruly tongues; for the Briton is fully persuaded in the +background of his mind that he belongs to an imperial race and is born +to be a ruler, that every man will sooner or later have to speak his +language, and that it is undignified to condescend to French. The Briton +is pleased to know that foreign nations have some means of communication +between themselves--as, indeed, the lower animals have, if you go into +the matter; but since the Almighty has put an English (or Scots) tongue +in his mouth, it would be flying in the face of Providence not to use +it. It is, however, an excellent thing to have the graduates, and the +trim class-room, and the tables of the foreign verbs upon the wall, and +the conversation classes--Speug at a conversation class!--and all the +rest of it; but, oh! the days of long ago--and Moossy! + +Like our only other foreigner, the Count, Moossy was a nameless man, for +although it must have been printed on the board in the vestibule of the +school, which had a list of masters and of classes, no one can now hint +at Moossy's baptismal name, nor even suggest his surname. The name of +the Count had been sunk in the nobility which we conferred upon him, and +which was the tribute of our respectful admiration, but "Moossy" was a +term of good-humoured contempt. We were only Scots lads of a provincial +town, and knew nothing of the outside world; but yet, with the instincts +of a race of Chieftains and Clansmen, we distinguished in our minds +between our two foreigners and placed them far apart. No doubt the Count +was womanish in his dress, and had fantastic manners, but we knew he was +a gallant gentleman, who was afraid of nobody and was always ready to +serve his friends; he was _débonnaire_, and counted himself the equal of +anyone in Muirtown, but Moossy was little better than an abject. He was +a little man, to begin with, and had made himself small by stooping till +his head had sunk upon his chest and his shoulders had risen to his +ears; his hair fell over the collar of his coat behind, and his +ill-dressed beard hid any shirt he wore; his hands and face showed only +the slightest acquaintance with soap and water, and although Speug was +not always careful in his own personal ablutions, and more than once had +been sent down to the lade by Bulldog to wash himself, yet Speug had a +healthy contempt for a dirty master. Moossy's clothes, it was believed, +had not been renewed since he came to the Seminary, and the cloak which +he wore on a winter day was a scandal to the town. His feet were large +and flat, and his knees touched as the one passed the other, and the +Seminary was honestly ashamed at the sight of him shambling across the +North Meadow. He looked so mean, so ill put together, so shabby, so +dirty, that the very "Pennies" hooted at him and flung him in our faces. +The Rector was also careless of his dress, and mooned along the road, +but then everybody knew that he was a mighty scholar, and that if you +woke him from his meditation he would answer you in Greek; but even +Speug understood that Moossy was not a scholar. The story drifted about +through Muirtown, and filtered down to the boys, that he was a bankrupt +tradesman who had fled from some little German town and landed in +Muirtown, and that because he could speak a little English, and a little +French, as German tradesmen can, he had been appointed by an +undiscriminating Town Council to teach foreign tongues at the Seminary. +It is certain he had very little education and no confidence in himself, +and so he was ever cringing to the bailies, which did him no injury, +for these great men regarded themselves as beings bordering on the +supernatural; and he was ever deferring and giving in to the boys, which +was the maddest thing that any master could do, and only confirmed every +boy in his judgment that Moossy was one of the most miserable of God's +creatures. + +His classes met in the afternoon, and were regarded as a pleasant +relaxation after the labours of the day, and to escape from the +government of Bulldog to the genial freedom of Moossy's room proved, as +we felt in a vague way, that Providence had a tender heart towards the +wants and enjoyments of boys. It goes without saying that no work was +done, for there were only half a dozen who had any desire to work, and +they were not allowed, in justice to themselves and to their fellows, to +waste the mercies which had been provided. Upon Bulldog's suggestion, +Moossy once provided himself with a cane, but it failed in his hands the +first time he tried to use it, which was not at all wonderful, as Jock +Howieson, who did not approve of canes, and regarded them as an +invention of the Evil One, had doctored Moossy's cane with a horse-hair, +so that it split into two at a stroke, and one piece flying back struck +Moossy on the face. + +"That'll learn him to be meddling with canes. It's plenty that Bulldog +has a cane, without yon meeserable wretch"; and that was the last effort +which Moossy made to exercise discipline. + +Every afternoon he made a pitiable appeal that the boys would behave and +learn their verbs. For about ten minutes there was quietness, and then, +at the sight of Thomas John, sitting at the head of his form and working +diligently upon a French translation, which he could do better than +Moossy himself, Speug would make a signal to the form, and, leading off +from the foot himself, the form would give one quick, unanimous, and +masterful push, and Thomas John next instant was sitting on the floor; +while if, by any possibility, they could land all his books on him as he +lay, and baptise him out of his own ink-bottle, the form was happy and +called in their friends of other forms to rejoice with them. Moossy, at +the noise of Thomas John's falling, would hurry over and inquire the +cause, that a boy so exemplary and diligent should be sitting on the +floor with the remains of his work around him; and as Thomas John knew +that it would be worth his life to tell the reason, Moossy and he +pretended to regard it as one of the unavoidable accidents of life, and +after Thomas John had been restored to his place, and the ink wiped off +his clothes, Moossy exhorted the form to quietness and diligence. He +knew what had happened, and would have been fit for a lunatic asylum if +he had not; and we knew that he knew, and we all despised him for his +cowardice. Had there been enough spirit in Moossy to go for Speug (just +as Bulldog would have done), and thrash him there and then as he sat in +his seat, brazen and unashamed, we would all have respected Moossy, and +no one more than Speug, to whom all fresh exploits would have had a new +relish. But Moossy was a broken-spirited man, in whom there was no +fight, who held a post he was not fit for, and held it to get a poor +living for himself and one who was dearer to him than his own life. So +helpless was he, and so timid, that there were times when the boys grew +weary of their teasing and disorder, and condescended to repeat a verb +in order to pass the time. + +When the spring was in their blood--for, like all young animals, they +felt its stirring--then there were wonderful scenes in Moossy's +class-room. He dared not stand in those days between two forms, with his +face to the one and his back to the other, because of the elastic +catapults and the sharp little paper bullets, which, in spite of his +long hair, would always find out his ears; and if he turned round to +face the battery, the other form promptly unmasked theirs, and between +the two he was driven to the end of the room; and then, in his very +presence, without a pretence of concealment, the two forms would settle +their differences, while, in guttural and uncultured German, Moossy +prayed for peace. Times there were, I am sorry to say, when at the sting +of the bullet Moossy said bad words, and although they were in German, +the boys knew that it was swearing, and Speug's voice would be loudest +in horror. + +[Illustration: "THOMAS JOHN NEXT INSTANT WAS SITTING ON THE FLOOR."] + +"Mercy on us, lads! this is awful language to hear in the Seminary! If +the Town Council gets word of this, there'll be a fine stramish. For +masel'," Speug would conclude piously, "I'm perfectly ashamed." And as +that accomplished young gentleman had acquired in the stables a wealth +of profanity which was the amazement of the school, his protest had all +the more weight. Poor Moossy would apologise for what he had said, and +beseech the school neither to say it themselves nor to tell what they +had heard; and for days afterwards Speug would be warning Thomas John +that if he, Speug--censor of morals--caught him cursing and swearing +like Moossy, he would duck him in the lake, and afterwards bring him +before the Lord Provost and magistrates. + +There was no end to the devices of the Seminary for enjoying themselves +and tormenting Moossy; and had it not been for Nestie, who had some +reserves of taste, the fun would have been much more curious. As it was, +Moossy never knew when he might not light upon a frog, till it seemed as +if the class-room for modern languages were the chosen home for the +reptiles of the district. One morning, when he opened his desk, a lively +young Scots terrier puppy sprang up to welcome him, and nearly +frightened Moossy out of such wits as he possessed. He had learned to +open the door of his class-room cautiously, not knowing whether a German +Dictionary might not be ingeniously poised to fall upon his head. His +ink-bottle would be curiously attached to his French Grammar, so that +when he lifted the book the bottle followed it and sent the spray of ink +over his person, adding a new distinction of dirtiness to his coat. Boys +going up to write on the blackboard, where they never wrote anything but +nonsense, would work symbols with light and rapid touch upon the back of +Moossy's coat as they returned; and if one after the other, adding to +the work of art, could draw what was supposed to be a human face upon +Moossy, the class was satisfied it had not lost the hour. There were +times when Moossy felt the hand even on the looseness of that foolish +coat, and turned suddenly; but there was no shaking the brazen impudence +of Muirtown, and Moossy, looking into the stolid and unintelligent +expression of Howieson's face, thought that he had been mistaken. If one +boy was set up to do a verb, the form, reading from their books and +pronouncing on a principal of their own, would do the verb with him and +continue in a loud and sonorous song, till Moossy had to stop them one +by one, and then they were full of indignation at being hindered in +their studies of the German language. + +Moossy was afraid to complain to the Rector, lest his own incompetence +should be exposed and his bread be taken from him; and of this the +boys, with the unerring cunning of savages, were perfectly aware, and +the torture might have gone on for years had it not been for the +intervention of Bulldog and a certain incident. As the French class-room +was above the mathematical, any special disturbance could be heard in +the quietness below; and whatever else they did, the students of foreign +languages were careful not to invite the attention of Bulldog. Indeed, +the one check upon the freedom of Moossy's room was the danger of +Bulldog's arrival, who was engaged that hour with the little boys and +had ample leisure of mind to take note of any outrageous noise above, +and for want of occupation was itching to get at old friends like +Howieson. There are times, however, when even a savage forgets himself, +and one spring day the saturnalia in Moossy's room reached an historical +height. It had been discovered that any dislike which Moossy may have +had to a puppy in his desk, and a frog in his top-cloak pocket, was +nothing to the horror with which he regarded mice. As soon as it was +known that Moossy would as soon have had a tiger in the French +class-room as a mouse upon the loose, it was felt that the study of +foreign languages should take a new departure. One morning the boys came +in with such punctuality, and settled to their work with such demure +diligence, that even Moossy was suspicious and watched them anxiously. +For ten minutes there was nothing heard but the drone of the class +mangling German sentences, and then Howieson cried aloud in +consternation, "A mouse!" + +"Vat ees that you say? Ah! mices! vere?" and Moossy was much shaken. + +"Yonder," said Speug, pointing to where a mouse was just disappearing +under the desk; "and there's another at the fireplace. Dod, the place is +fair swarming, and, Moossy, there's one trying to run up your leg. Take +care, man, for ony sake." + +"A mices," cried Moossy, "vill up my legs go; I vill the desk ascend," +and with the aid of a chair Moossy scrambled on to his desk, where he +entrenched himself against attack, believing that at that height he +would be safe from "mices." + +[Illustration: "THE SCHOOL FELL OVER BENCHES AND OVER ONE ANOTHER."] + +Speug suggested that as this plague of mice had burst upon the French +class-room the scholars should meet the calamity like men, and asked +Moossy's permission to go out upon the chase. For once Moossy and his +pupils had one mind, and the school gave itself to its heart's content, +and without a thought of consequences, to a mouse hunt. Nothing is more +difficult than to catch a mouse, and the difficulty is doubled when no +one wishes to catch it; and so the school fell over benches, and over +one another, and jumped over the desks and scrambled under them, ever +pretending to have caught a mouse, and really succeeding once in +smothering an unfortunate animal beneath the weight of half a dozen +boys. Thomas John was early smeared with ink from top to bottom by an +accident in which Howieson took a leading part, and the German +Dictionary intended for a mouse happened to take Cosh on the way, which +led to an encounter between that indignant youth and Bauldie, in which +mice were forgotten. The blackboard was brought down with a crash, and a +form was securely planted on its ruins. High above the babel Moossy +could be heard crying encouragement, and demanding whether the "mices" +had been caught, but nothing would induce him to come down from his +fastness. When things were at their highest, and gay spirits like Speug +were beginning to conclude that even a big snow fight was nothing to a +mouse hunt, and Howieson had been so lifted that he had mounted a desk, +not to catch a mouse, but to give a cheer, and was standing there +without collar or tie, dishevelled, triumphant, and raised above all the +trials of life, the door opened and Bulldog entered. And it was a +beautiful tribute to the personality of that excellent man, that the +whole room crystallised in an instant, and everyone remained motionless, +frozen, as it were, in the act. + +Bulldog looked round with that calm composure which sat so well upon +him, taking in Moossy perched upon his desk, Howieson on his form, Speug +sitting with easy dignity on the top of Thomas John, and half a dozen +worthies still tied together in a scrimmage, as if this were a sight to +which he was accustomed every day in Muirtown Seminary. + +"Foreign languages," he began, after a pause of ten seconds, "is +evidently a verra divertin' subject of study, and I wonder that any +pupil is left in the department of mathematics. I was not aware, Jock, +that ye needed to stand on a form before you could do your German, and I +suppose that is the French class in the corner. I'm sorry to intrude, +but I'm pleased to see a class in earnest about its work, I really am." + +"Mices!" remarked Bulldog in icy tones, as poor Moossy came down from +his desk and began to explain. "My impression is that you are right, as +far as I can judge--and I have some acquaintance with the circumstances. +There are a considerable number of mices in this room, a good many more +mices than were brought in somebody's pocket this morning. The mices I +see were in my class-room this morning, and they were very quiet and +peaceable mices, and they'll be the same in this class-room after this, +or I'll know the reason why. If you'll excuse me," and Bulldog embraced +the whole scene in a comprehensive farewell, "I'll leave the foreign +class-room and go down and see what my laddies are doing with their +writing"; and when Bulldog closed the door Howieson realised that he +owed his escape to Bulldog's respect for another man's class-room, but +that the joyful day in modern languages had come to an end. There would +be no more "mices." + +Next Saturday afternoon Speug and Nestie were out for a ramble in the +country, and turning into a lane where the hedgerows were breaking into +green, and the primroses nestling at the roots of the bushes, they came +upon a sight which made them pause so that they could only stand and +look. Down the lane a man was dragging an invalid-chair, a poor and +broken thing which had seen its best days thirty years ago. In the chair +a woman was sitting, or rather lying, very plainly but comfortably +dressed, and carefully wrapped up, whose face showed that she had +suffered much, but whose cheeks were responding to the breath of spring. +As they stood, the man stopped and went to the bank and plucked a +handful of primroses and gave them to the woman; and as he bent over +her, holding up the primroses before her eyes, and as they talked +together, even the boys saw the grateful pleasure in her eyes. He +adjusted the well-worn cloak and changed her position in the chair, and +then went back to drag it, a heavy weight down the soft and yielding +track; and the boys stood and stared and looked at one another, for the +man who was caring so gently for this invalid, and toiling so manfully +with the lumbering chair, was Moossy. + +"C-cut away, Speug," said Nestie; "he wouldn't like us to see him. I +say, he ain't a bad sort--Moossy--after all. Bet you a bottle of +g-ginger-beer that's Moossy's wife, and that's why he's so poor." + +They were leaving the lane when they heard an exclamation, and going +back they found that the miserable machine had slipped into the ditch +and there stuck fast beyond poor Moossy's power of recovery. With many +an "Ach!" and other words, too, he was bewailing the situation and +hanging over his invalid, while she seemed to be cheering him and trying +if she could so lie in the chair as to lessen the weight upon the lower +side, while every minute the wheel sank deeper in the soft earth. + +"What are you st-staring at, you idle, worthless v-vagabond?" said +Nestie to Speug. "Come along and give a hand to Moossy," who was so +pleased to get some help in the lonely place that he forgot the +revealing of his little secret. With Speug in the shafts, who had the +strength of a man in his compact little body, and Moossy pulling on the +other side, the coach was soon upon the road again, amid a torrent of +gratitude from Moossy and his wife, partly in English, but mostly in +German, but all quite plain to the boys, for gratitude is always +understood in any language. They came bravely along the lane, Speug +pulling, Moossy hanging over his wife to make sure she had not been +hurt, and Nestie plucking flowers to make up a nosegay in memory of the +lane, while Moossy declared them to be "_Zwei herzliche Knaben_." + +When they came to the main road, Speug would not give up his work, but +brought the carriage manfully to the little cottage, hidden in a garden, +where Moossy lodged. When she had been carried in--she was so light that +Moossy could lift her himself--she compelled the boys to come in, too, +and Moossy made fragrant coffee, and this they had with strange German +cakes, which were not half bad, and to which they both did ample +justice. Going home, Nestie looked at Speug, and Speug looked at Nestie, +and though no words passed it was understood that the days of the +troubles of Moossy in the Seminary of Muirtown were ended. + +During the remaining year of Moossy's labours at the Seminary it would +not be true to say that he became a good or useful master, for he had +neither the knowledge nor the tact, or that the boys were always +respectful and did their work, for they were very far removed from being +angels; but Moossy did pluck up some spirit, and Speug saw that he +suffered no grievous wrong. He also took care that Moossy was not left +to be his own horse from day to day, but that the stronger varlets of +the Seminary should take some exercise in the shafts of Moossy's coach. +Howieson was a young gentleman far removed from sentiment, and he gave +it carefully to be understood that he only did the thing for a joke; but +there is no question that more than once Jock brought Moossy's +carriage, with Moossy's wife in it, successfully along that lane and +other lanes, and it is a fact that, on a certain Saturday, Speug came +out with one of his father's traps, and Mistress Moossy, as she was +called, was driven far and wide about the country around Muirtown. + +"You are what the papers call a ph-philanthropist, Speug," said Nestie, +"and I expect to hear that you are opening an orphan asylum." And Speug +promptly replied that, if he did, the first person to be admitted would +be Nestie, and that he would teach him manners. + +It was a fortunate thing for Moossy that some one died in Germany and +left him a little money, so that he could give up the hopeless drudgery +of the Seminary and go home to live in a little house upon the banks of +the Rhine. His wife, who had been improving under Dr. Manley's care, +began to brisk up at once, and was quite certain of recovery when one +afternoon they left Muirtown Station. Some dozen boys were there to see +them off, and it was Jock and Speug who helped Moossy to place +her comfortably in the carriage. The gang had pooled their +pocket-money--selling one or two treasures to swell the sum--that Moossy +and his wife might go away laden with such dainties as schoolboys love, +and Nestie had a bunch of flowers to place in her hands. They still +called him Moossy, as they had done before, and he looked, to tell the +truth, almost as shabby and his hair was as long as ever; but he was in +great spirits and much touched by the kindness of his tormentors. As the +English mail pulled out of Muirtown Station with quickening speed, the +boys ran along the platform beside the carriage shaking hands with +Moossy through the open window and passing in their gifts. + +"Take care o' mices!" shouted Jock, with agreeable humour, but the last +sight Moossy had of Muirtown was Speug standing on a luggage-barrow and +waving farewell. + + + + +A LAST RESOURCE + +X + + +That the Rector should be ill and absent from his classes from time to +time was quite in the order of things, because he was a scholar and +absent-minded to a degree--going to bed in the morning, and being got +out of bed in rather less than time for his work; eating when it +occurred to him, but preferring, on the whole, not to eat at all; +wearing very much the same clothes summer and winter, and if he added a +heavy top-coat, more likely putting it on in the height of summer and +going without it when there were ten degrees of frost. It was not for +his scholarship, but for his peculiarities, that the school loved him; +not because he edited a "Cæsar" and compiled a set of Latin exercises, +for which perfectly unnecessary and disgusting labours the school hated +him, but because he used to arrive at ten minutes past nine, and his +form was able to jeer at Bulldog's boys as they hastened into their +class-room with much discretion at one minute before the hour. Because +he used to be so much taken up with a happy phrase in Horace that he +would forget the presence of his class, and walk up and down before the +fireplace, chortling aloud; and because sometimes he was so hoarse that +he could only communicate with the class by signs, which they +unanimously misunderstood. Because he would sometimes be absent for a +whole week, and his form was thrown in with another, with the result of +much enjoyable friction, and an almost perfect neglect of work. He was +respected and never was annoyed, not even by ruffians like Howieson, +because everyone knew that the Rector was an honourable gentleman, with +all his eccentric ways, and the _Muirtown Advertiser_ had a leader every +spring on the achievements of his scholars. Edinburgh professors who +came to examine the school used to fill up their speeches on the +prize-day with graceful compliments to the Rector, supported by +classical quotations, during which the boys cheered rapturously and the +Rector looked as if he were going to be hung. He was one of the +recognised glories of Muirtown, and was freely referred to at municipal +banquets by bailies whose hearts had grown merry within them drinking +the Queen's health, and was associated in the peroration to the toast of +"the Fair City" with the North Meadow and the Fair Maid, and the River +Tay and the County Gaol. + +Bulldog was of another breed. Whatever may have been his negligences of +dress and occupation in private life--and on this subject Nestie and +Speug told fearful lies--he exhibited the most exasperating regularity +in public, from his copper-plate handwriting to his speckless dress, but +especially by an inhuman and absolutely sinful punctuality. No one with +a heart within him and some regard to the comfort of his fellow +creatures, especially boys, had any right to observe times and seasons +with such exactness. During all our time, except on the one great +occasion I wish to record, he was never known to be ill, not even with a +cold; and it was said that he never had been for a day off duty, even in +the generation before us. His erect, spare frame, without an ounce of +superfluous flesh, seemed impervious to disease, and there was a feeling +in the background of our minds that for any illness to have attacked +Bulldog would have been an act of impertinence which he would have known +how to deal with. It was firmly believed that for the last fifty +years--and some said eighty, but that was poetry--Bulldog had entered +his class-room every morning, except on Saturdays, Sundays, and +holidays, at 8.50, and was ready to begin work at the stroke of nine. +There was a pleasant story that in the days of our fathers there had +been such a fall of snow and so fierce a wind that the bridge had been +drifted up, and no one could cross that morning from the other side. The +boys from the south side of the town had brought news of the drift to +the school, and the earlier arrivals, who had come in hope of a +snow-fight, were so mightily taken with the news that they hurried to +the Muirtown end of the bridge to look at the drift, and danced with joy +at the thought that on the other side Bulldog was standing, for once +helpless and dismayed. Speug's father, true ancestor of such a son, had +shouted across the drift invitations for Bulldog to come over, secure in +the fact that he could not be seen across its height, and in the hope +that Bulldog would not know his voice. When they were weary celebrating +the event, and after a pleasant encounter with a hastily organised +regiment of message boys, the eager scholars sauntered along to the +school, skirmishing as they went, just to be ready for the midday fight +with the "Pennies." For the pure joy of it they opened the door of the +mathematical class-room, merely to see how it looked when Bulldog was +not there, and found that estimable teacher at his desk, waiting to +receive them with bland courtesy. Some said that he had stayed in +Muirtown all night, anticipating that drift, others that he had climbed +over it in the early morning, before Muirtown was awake; but it was +found out afterwards that he had induced old Duncan Rorison, the +salmon-fisher, to ferry him across the flooded river, that it took them +an hour to reach the Muirtown side, and that they had both been nearly +drowned in the adventure. + +"Come in, my boys," was all that he said. "Ye're a little late, but the +roads are heavy this morning. Come to the fire and warm yir hands before +ye begin yir work. It's a fine day for mathematics," and Mr. McGuffie +senior used to tell his son with much relish that their hands were +warmed. The school was profoundly convinced that if necessary Bulldog +would be prepared to swim the river rather than miss a day in the +mathematical class-room. + +It was a pleasant spring morning, and the "marble" season had just +begun, when Howieson, after a vicious and well-directed stroke which won +him three "brownies," inquired casually whether anybody had seen Bulldog +go in; for, notwithstanding the years which came and went, his passing +in was always an occasion. Everyone then recollected that he had not +been seen, but no one for a moment suggested that he had not arrived; +and even when the school trooped into the class-room and found Bulldog's +desk empty, there was no exhilaration and no tendency to take advantage +of the circumstances. No one knew where he might be lying in wait, and +from what quarter he might suddenly appear; and it was wonderful with +what docility the boys began to work under the mild and beneficent reign +of Mr. Byles, who had not at that time joined with the Dowbiggins in the +unlawful pursuit of game. As the forenoon wore on there was certainly +some curiosity, and Nestie was questioned as to Bulldog's whereabouts; +but it was understood to be a point of honour with Nestie, as a member +of his household, to give no information about Bulldog's movements, and +so the school were none the wiser. There was some wild talk during the +hour, and a dozen stories were afloat by afternoon. Next morning it was +boldly said that Bulldog was ill, and some, who did not know what truth +was, asserted that he was in bed, and challenged Nestie to deny the +slander. That ingenious young gentleman replied vaguely but politely, +and veiled the whole situation in such a mist of irrelevant detail that +the school went in for the second day to the class-room rejoicing with +trembling, and not at all sure whether Bulldog might not arrive in a +carriage and pair, possibly with a large comforter round his throat, but +otherwise full of spirits and perfectly fit for duty. It was only after +the twelve o'clock break and a searching cross-examination of Nestie +that the school could believe in the goodness of Providence, and felt +like the Children of Israel on the other bank of the Red Sea. Some were +for celebrating their independence in the North Meadow and treating Mr. +Byles with absolute contempt; but there were others who judged with some +acuteness that they could have the North Meadow any day, but they might +never again have a full hour in the mathematical class-room without +Bulldog. There seemed a certain fitness in holding the celebration amid +the scenes of labour and discipline, and the mathematical class went in +to wait on Mr. Byles's instruction in high spirits and without one +missing. It is true that the Dowbiggins showed for the first time some +reluctance in attending to their studies, but it was pointed out to them +in a very firm and persuasive way by Speug that it would be disgraceful +for them to be absent when Bulldog was ill, and that the class could not +allow such an act of treachery. Speug was so full of honest feeling that +he saw Thomas John safely within the door, and, since he threatened an +unreasonable delay, assisted him across the threshold from behind. There +is no perfectly full and accurate account extant of what took place +between twelve and one that day in the mathematical class-room, but what +may be called contributions to history oozed out and were gratefully +welcomed by the school. It was told how Bauldie, being summoned by Mr. +Byles to work a problem on the board, instead of a triangle drew a +fetching likeness of Mr. Byles himself, and being much encouraged by the +applause of the class, and having an artist's love of his work, thrust a +pipe into Mr. Byles's mouth (pictorially), and blacked one of Mr. +Byles's eyes (also pictorially), and then went to his seat with a sense +of modest worth. That Mr. Byles, through a want of artistic +appreciation, resented this Bohemian likeness of himself, and, moved by +a Philistine spirit, would have wiped it from the board; but the senior +members of the class would on no account allow any work by a young but +promising master to be lost, and succeeded in the struggle in wiping +Mr. Byles's own face with the chalky cloth. That Mr. Byles, instead of +entering into the spirit of the day, lost his temper and went to +Bulldog's closet for a cane; whereupon Speug, seizing the opportunity so +pleasantly afforded, locked Mr. Byles in that place of retirement, and +so kept him out of any further mischief for the rest of the hour. That +as Mr. Byles had been deposed from office on account of his incapacity, +and the place of mathematical master was left vacant, Speug was +unanimously elected to the position, and gave an address, from Bulldog's +desk, replete with popular humour. That as Thomas John did not seem to +be giving such attention to his studies as might have been expected, +Speug ordered that he be brought up for punishment, which was promptly +done by Bauldie and Howieson. That after a long review of Thomas John's +iniquitous career, Speug gave him the tawse with much faithfulness, +Bauldie seeing that Thomas John held out his hand in a becoming fashion; +then that unhappy young gentleman was sent to his seat with a warning +from Speug that this must never occur again. That Nestie, having +stealthily left the room, gave such an accurate imitation of Bulldog's +voice in the passage--"Pack of little fiddlers taking advantage of my +absence; but I'll warm them"--that there was an instantaneous rush for +the seats; and when the door opened and Nestie appeared, the +mathematical class-room was as quiet as pussy, and Speug was +ostentatiously working at a mathematical problem. There are men living +who look back on that day with modest, thankful hearts, finding in its +remembrance a solace in old age for the cares of life; and the scene on +which they dwell most fondly is Nestie, whose face had been whitened for +his abominable trick, standing on the top of Bulldog's desk, and singing +a school song with the manner of the Count and the accent of Moossy, +while Speug with a cane in his hand compelled Dowbiggin to join in the +chorus, and Byles could be heard bleating from the closet. Ah, me! how +soon we are spoiled by this sinful world, and lose the sweet innocence +of our first years! how poor are the rewards of ambition compared with +the simple pleasures of childhood! + +It could not be expected that we should ever have another day as good +again, but everyone had a firm confidence in the originality of Speug +when it was a question of mischief. We gathered hopefully round the +Russian guns next morning--for, as I have said, the guns were our forum +and place of public address--and, while affecting an attitude of studied +indifference, we waited with desire to hear the plan of campaign from +our leader's lips. But Speug, like all great generals, was full of +surprises, and that morning he was silent and unapproachable. Various +suggestions were made for brightening the mathematical labours and +cheering up Mr. Byles, till at last Howieson, weary of their futility, +proposed that the whole class should go up to the top of the North +Meadow and bathe in the river, and then Speug broke silence. + +"Ye may go to bathe if ye like, Jock, and Cosh may go with ye, and if +he's drowned it'll be no loss, nor, for that matter, if the half of ye +are carried down the river. For myself, I'm going to the mathematical +class, and if onybody meddles wi' Byles I'll fight him in the back yard +in the dinner-hour for half a dozen stone-gingers." + +"Is there onything wrang with your head, Speug?" For the thought of +Peter busy with a triangle under the care and pastoral oversight of Mr. +Byles could only be explained in one way. + +"No," replied Speug savagely, "nor with my fists, either. The fact +is----" And then Speug hesitated, realising amid his many excellences a +certain deficiency of speech for a delicate situation. "Nestie, what are +ye glowering at? Get up on the gun and tell them aboot--what ye told me +this meenut." And the school gathered in amazement round our pulpit, on +which Nestie stood quite unconcerned. + +"It was very good fun-n yesterday, boys, but it won't do to-t-to-day. +Bully's very ill, and Doctor Manley is afraid that he may--d-die, and it +would be beastly bad form-m to be having larks when Bulldog +is--maybe----" And Nestie came down hurriedly from the gun and went +behind the crowd, while Speug covered his retreat in an aggressive +manner, all the more aggressive that he did not seem himself to be quite +indifferent. + +Manley said it. Then every boy knew it must be going hard with Bulldog; +for there was not in broad Scotland a cleverer, pluckier, cheerier soul +in his great profession than John Manley, M.D., of Edinburgh, with half +a dozen honours of Scotland, England, and France. He had an insight into +cases that was almost supernatural, he gave prescriptions which nobody +but his own chemist could make up, he had expedients of treatment that +never occurred to any other man, and then he had a way with him that +used to bring people up from the gates of death and fill despairing +relatives with hope. His arrival in the sick room, a little man, with +brusque, sharp, straightforward manner, seemed in itself to change the +whole face of things and beat back the tides of disease. He would not +hear that any disease was serious, but he treated it as if it were; he +would not allow a gloomy face in a sick room, and his language to women +who began to whimper, when he got them outside the room, was such as tom +cats would be ashamed of; and he regarded the idea of any person below +eighty dying on his hands as a piece of incredible impertinence. All +over Perthshire country doctors in their hours of anxiety and perplexity +sent for Manley; and when two men like William McClure and John Manley +took a job in hand together, Death might as well leave and go to +another case, for he would not have a look in with those champions in +the doorway. English sportsmen in lonely shooting-boxes sent for the +Muirtown crack in hours of sudden distress, and then would go up to +London and swear in the clubs that there was a man down there in a +country town of Scotland who was cleverer than all the West End swell +doctors put together. He would not allow big names of diseases to be +used in his hearing, believing that the shadow killed more people than +the reality, and fighting with all his might against the melancholy +delight that Scots people have in serious sickness and other dreary +dispensations. When Manley returned one autumn from a week's holiday and +found the people of the North Free Kirk mourning in the streets over +their minister, because he was dying of diphtheria, and his young wife +asking grace to give her husband up if it were the will of God, Manley +went to the house in a whirlwind of indignation, declaring that to call +a sore throat diphtheria was a tempting of Providence, and that it was a +mere mercy that they hadn't got the real disease "just for a judgment." +It happened, however, that his treatment was exactly the same as that +for diphtheria, and although he remarked that he didn't know whether it +was necessary for him to come back again for such an ordinary case, he +did drop in by a series of accidents twice a day for more than a week; +and although no one dared to whisper it in his presence, there are +people who think to this day that the minister had diphtheria. As +Manley, however, insisted that it was nothing but a sore throat, the +minister felt bound to get better, and the whole congregation would have +thanked Manley in a body had it not been that he would have laughed +aloud. Many a boy remembered the day when he had been ill and sweating +with terror lest he should die--although he wouldn't have said that to +any living creature--and Manley had come in like a breeze of fresh air, +and declared that he was nothing but a "skulking young dog," with +nothing wrong about him, except the desire to escape for three days from +Bulldog. + +"Well, Jimmie, ye don't deserve it, for you're the most mischievous +little rascal, except Peter McGuffie, in the whole of Muirtown; but I'll +give you three days in bed, and your mother will let you have something +nice to eat, and then out you go and back to the Seminary," and going +out of the door Manley would turn round and shake his fist at the bed, +"just a trick, nothing else." It might be three weeks before the boy was +out of bed, but he was never afraid again, and had some heart to fight +his disease. + +Boys are not fools, and the Seminary knew that, if Manley had allowed +death to be even mentioned in connexion with Bulldog, it was more than +likely that they would never see the master of the mathematical +department again. And boys are a perfect absurdity, for--as sure as +death--they were not glad. Bulldog had thrashed them all, or almost +all, with faithfulness and perseverance, and some of them he had +thrashed many times; he had never petted any of them, and never more +than six times, perhaps, said a kind word to them in public. But that +morning, as they stood silent, awkward and angry, round the guns, there +is no doubt about it, the Seminary knew that it loved Bulldog. Never to +see his erect figure and stern face come across the North Meadow, never +to hear him say again from the desk, "Attention to your work, you little +fiddlers"; never to watch him promenading down between the benches, +overseeing each boy's task and stimulating the negligent on some tender +part of their bodies; never to be thrashed by him again! At the thought +of this calamity each boy felt bad in his clothes, and Speug, resenting +what he judged the impertinent spying of Cosh, threatened to punch his +head, and "learn Cosh to be watching him." As everybody knows, boys have +no sentiment and no feeling, so the collapse of that morning must be set +down to pure cussedness; but the school was so low that Byles ruled over +them without resistance, and might have thrashed them if he had so +pleased and had not ventured to use Bulldog's cane. + +Had they not been boys, they would have called at Bulldog's to learn how +he was. Being boys, they avoided his name and pretended they were +indifferent; but when they met Manley on the bridge that afternoon, and +judged he had come from Bulldog's, they studied his face with the skill +of wild animals, and concluded each one for himself that things were +going badly with the master. They picked up every scrap of information +from their fathers in the evening, although they fiercely resented the +suggestion of their mothers that they would be concerned about "Mr. +MacKinnon's illness"--as if they cared whether a master were ill or +well, as if it were not better for them that he should be ill, +especially such an old brute as Bulldog. And the average mother was very +much disappointed by this lack of feeling, and said to her husband at +night that she had expected better things from Archibald; but if she had +gone suddenly into Bauldie's room--for that was his real name, Archibald +being only the thing given in baptism--she would have found that +truculent worthy sobbing aloud and covering his head with the blankets, +lest his elder brother, who slept in the same room, should hear him. You +have no reason to believe me, and his mother would not have believed me, +but--as sure as death--Bauldie was crying because Bulldog was sick unto +death. + +Next morning Speug and a couple of friends happened by the merest +accident to be loitering at Bailie MacFarlane's shop window, and +examining with interest the ancient furniture exposed, at the very time +when that worthy magistrate came out and questioned Dr. Manley "How +things were going up-bye wi' the maister?" + +"Not well, bailie, not well at all. I don't like the case; it looks bad, +very bad indeed, and I'm not a croaker. Disease is gone, and he's a +strong man, not a stronger in Muirtown than MacKinnon; but he has lost +interest in things, and isn't making an effort to get better; just lying +quiet and looking at you--says he's taking a rest, and if we don't get +him waked up, I tell you, Bailie, it will be a long one." + +"Michty," said the Bailie, overcome with astonishment at the thought of +Bulldog dying, as it were, of gentleness. + +"Yes, yes," said Manley; "but that's just the way with those strong, +healthy men, who have never known a day's sickness till they are old; +they break up suddenly. And he'll be missed. Bailie, Bulldog didn't +thrash you and me, else we would have been better men; but he has +attended to our boys." + +"He has been verra conscientious," and the Bailie shook his head, sadly +mourning over a man who had laid down his life in discharge of +discipline. But the boys departed without remark, and Speug loosened the +strap of Bauldie's books, so that they fell in a heap upon the street, +whereat there was a brisk interchange of ideas, and then the company +went on its way rejoicing. So callous is a boy. + +Nestie was not at school that day, and perhaps that was the reason that +Speug grew sulky and ill-tempered, taking offence if anyone looked at +him, and picking quarrels in the corridors, and finally disappearing +during the dinner-hour. It was supposed that he had broken bounds and +gone to Woody Island, that forbidden Paradise of the Seminary, and that +while the class was wasting its time with Byles, Peter was playing the +Red Indian. He did not deny the charge next day, and took an hour's +detention in the afternoon with great equanimity, but at the time he was +supposed to be stalking Indians behind the trees, and shooting them as +they floated down the river on a log, he was lying among the hay in his +father's stable, hidden from sight, and--as sure as death--Speug was +trying to pray for Bulldog. + +The virtues of Mr. McGuffie senior were those of the natural man, and +Mr. McGuffie junior had never been present at any form of family +prayers, nor had he attended a Sunday-school, nor had he sat under any +minister in particular. He had no training in devotional exercises, +although he had enjoyed an elaborate education in profanity under his +father and the grooms, and so his form of prayer was entirely his own. + +"God, I dinna ken how to call You, but they say Ye hear onybody. I'm +Peter McGuffie, but mebbe Ye will ken me better by Speug. I'm no' a good +laddie like Nestie, and I'm aye gettin' the tawse, but I'm awful fond of +Bulldog. Dinna kill Bulldog, God; dinna kill Bulldog! If Ye let him aff +this time I'll never say any bad words again--as sure as death--and I'll +never play truant, and I'll never slap Dowbiggin's face, and I'll never +steal birds' eggs, and I'll never set the terrier on the cats. I'll wash +my face and--my hands, too, and I'll go to the Sabbath-schule, and I'll +do onything Ye ask me if Ye'll let off Bulldog. For ony sake, dinna kill +Bulldog." + +When Dr. Manley came out from the master's garden door that evening he +stumbled upon Speug, who was looking very miserable, but began to +whistle violently the moment he was detected, and denied that he had +come to ask for news. + +"You did, you young limmer, and you needn't tell me lies, for I know +you, Speug, and your father before you. I wish I'd good news to give +you, but I haven't. I fear you've had your last thrashing from Bulldog." + +For a moment Speug kicked at a stone on the road and thrust his hands +deep into his pockets; then the corners of his mouth began to twitch, +and turning round he hid his face upon the wall, while his tough little +body that had stood many a fight shook all over. Doctor Manley was the +first person that had seen Speug cry, and he stood over him to protect +him from the gaze of any wandering message boys who might come along the +lane. By and by Speug began to speak between his sobs. + +"It was a lee, Doctor, for I did come up to ask, but I dinna like to +let on.... I heard ye say that ye couldna rouse Bulldog to take an +interest in onything, and I thought o' something." + +"What was it, Speug?" and the doctor laid his hands on the boy's +shoulder and encouraged him to proceed. "I'll never tell, you may trust +me." + +"Naething pleased Bulldog sae weel as givin' us a lickin'; if he juist +had a cane in his hands and a laddie afore him, Bulldog would sune be +himsel' again, and--there's no a laddie in schule he's licked as often +as me. And I cam up----" and Speug stuck. + +"To offer yourself for a thrashing, you mean. You've mentioned the +medicine; 'pon my word, I believe it's just the very thing that will do +the trick. Confound you, Speug! if you haven't found out what I was +seeking after, and I've been doctoring those Muirtown sinners for more +than thirty years. Come along, laddie; we've had our consultation, and +we'll go to the patient." And Manley hurried Speug through the garden +and into the house. "Wait a minute here," said the doctor, "and I'll +come back to you." And in a little while Nestie came down-stairs and +found his friend in the lobby, confused and frightened for the first +time in his life, and Nestie saw the marks of distress upon his face. +"Doctor M-Manley told me, Speug, and" (putting an arm round his neck) +"you're the g-goodest chap in Muirtown. It's awfully d-decent of you, +and it'll p-please Bully tremendous." And then Speug went up as +consulting physician to visit Bulldog. Nestie brought him forward to the +bedside, and at last he had courage to look, and it took him all his +time to play the man when he saw Bulldog so thin, so quiet, so gentle, +with his face almost as white as the pillow, and his hands upon the +bedclothes wasted like to the hands of a skeleton. The master smiled +faintly, and seemed to be glad to see the worst of all his scholars, but +he did not say anything. Dr. Manley kept in the background and allowed +the boys to manage their own business, being the wisest of men as well +as the kindliest. Although Nestie made signs to Speug and gave him every +encouragement, Peter could not find a word, but stood helpless, biting +his lip and looking the very picture of abject misery. + +"Peter has come, sir," said Nestie, "to ask for you. He is very sorry +that you are ill, and so are all the boys. Peter thought you might be +wearying to--to use the c-cane, and Peter is wearying, too. Just a +little one, sir, to p-please Speug," and Nestie laid an old cane he had +hunted up, a cane retired from service, upon the bed within reach of +Bulldog's hand. A twinkle of amusement came into the master's eye, the +first expression of interest he had shown during his illness. He turned +his head and looked at Peter, the figure of chastened mischief. The +remembrance of the past--the mathematical class-room, the blackboard +with its figures, the tricks of the boys, the scratching of the pens, +came up to him, and his soul was stirred within him. His hand closed +again upon the sceptre of authority, and Peter laid a grimy paw open +upon the bedclothes. The master gave it one little stroke with all the +strength he had. "The fiddlers," he said softly, "the little fiddlers +can't do without me, after all." A tear gathered in his eye and +overflowed and rolled down Bulldog's cheek. Manley hurried the boys out +of the room, who went into the garden, and, being joined by the master's +dog, the three together played every monkey trick they knew, while +upstairs in the sick-room Manley declared that Bulldog had turned the +corner and would soon be back again among his "fiddlers." + +[Illustration: "HIS HAND CLOSED AGAIN UPON THE SCEPTRE OF AUTHORITY."] + +The doctor insisted upon driving Peter home to his native stable-yard, +for this was only proper courtesy to a consulting physician. He called +him "Doctor" and "Sir Peter" and such like names all the way, whereat +Peter was so abashed that friends seeing him sitting in Manley's +phaeton, with such an expression on his face, spread abroad the tale +that the doctor was bringing him home with two broken legs as the result +of riding a strange horse. The doctor bade him good-bye in the presence +of his father, tipping him ten shillings to treat the school on the news +of Bulldog's convalescence, and next day stone-ginger was flowing like +water down the throats of the Seminary. + + + + +A PLEASANT SIN + +XI + + +Captious people, such as ministers of religion and old maids of the +precise kind, considered that the Seminary were guilty of many sins and +mentioned them freely; but those excellent people erred through lack of +vision. Hunting mice in Moossy's class-room, putting the Dowbiggins' +clothes into a state of thorough repair, raiding the territory of the +"Pennies," having a stand-up fight between two well-matched champions, +say, once a month, and "ragging" Mr. Byles, might have an appearance of +evil, but were in reality disguised virtues, feeding the high spirit of +those who were active, and teaching the Christian grace of meekness to +those who were passive. There was only one act which the Seminary knew +it ought not to do, and which all the boys wanted to do, which they +enjoyed very much in doing, and were quite willing to be punished for +doing. The besetting sin of a school--a country school--which will +remain its sin until the days of the millennium have fairly set in, was +playing truant. + +This crime was equivalent to high treason in the State, and consisted in +a boy absenting himself from school without the knowledge of his +parents, and without the consent of his master, for a day or half of a +day. The boy did not disappear because he was ill, for he was on such +occasions outrageously well: nor because he was overburdened by work, +for the truants always guarded themselves against brain fag; nor because +he wanted to hang about the streets, or smoke in secret places. He was +simply seized with the passion of the open air and of the country. To +tramp through the bosky woods, hunting for birds' eggs and watching the +ways of wild animals; to guddle for trout under the stones of some clear +running mountain burn, or to swim in the cool water on a summer day, or +to join the haymakers on a farm, and do a full day's work, as long as +lesson time and harder. There was a joy in escaping from bounds, as if +an animal had broken out from a menagerie; there was joy in thinking, as +you lay beside your burn or under the shadow of a tree, of the fellows +mewed up in the hot class-room and swatting at their sums, under +Bulldog's eye; and joy in coming home in the evening, tired, but +satisfied, and passing the empty Seminary with defiance. There is no +joy--I mean sin--but has its drawbacks, and there were clouds in the +truant's sky. Country folk had their own suspicions when they came on a +couple of boys going at large on a working day, when the school was in +session, as one might have a shrewd guess if he came upon two convicts +in their professional dress fishing in some lonely spot on Dartmoor. But +there is a charitable sympathy with all animals who have escaped from a +cage, unless it be a tigress looking for her dinner, and no one would +have thought of informing on the boys, except one bad man; and +Providence, using Speug as an instrument, punished him for his evil +doings--as I shall tell. + +"Well, laddies," some honest farmer would say, as he came upon them +sitting by the burnside eating bread and cheese and counting up their +trout, "I'm judgin' it will be a holiday at the Seminary the now, or +mebbe the maister's given ye a day's leave for yir health. Or is this +the reward for doing yir work so well? Ye have all the appearance of +scholars." And then the good man would laugh at the simple raillery and +the confusion of the boys. + +"Dinna answer, laddies; for least said soonest mended, and ye mind where +leears go to. But I'm thinkin' ye wadna be the worse for a jug of milk +to wash down your dinner, and there's some strawberries in the garden up +by, just about ripe." + +So they all went up to the farm kitchen and had a glorious tuck in, and +were afterwards turned loose among the strawberries, while the farmer +watched them with keen delight and a remembrance of past days. Whose +place in heaven for such deeds of charity is already secure. + +The authorities at home were not so lenient, and the experienced truant +was careful, when he could, to time his arrival home about five o'clock +in the afternoon, which allowed for the school hours and one hour more +of special confinement. According to the truant's code he was not +allowed to tell a lie about his escapade, either at home or at school, +but he was not obliged to offer a full and detailed statement of the +truth. If his father charged him with being kept in at school for not +having done his work, and rebuked him for his laziness, he allowed it to +go at that, and did not accuse his father of inaccuracy. When, however, +a boy was by habit and repute a truant, his father learned by experience +and was apt to watch him narrowly. If the boy had an extra touch of the +sun on his face, and his clothing was disorderly beyond usual, and his +manner was especially unobtrusive, and his anxiety to please every +person quite remarkable, and if in moments of unconsciousness he seemed +to be chewing the cud of some recent pleasure, the father was apt to +subject him to a searching cross-examination. And his mother had to beg +the boy off with many a plea, such as mothers know how to use; and if +the others did not succeed, and the appeal to the heart was in vain, she +could always send the good man back upon his memory, and put it to his +conscience whether he ought to visit too severely upon his son the sin +the boy had inherited from himself. + +It was next morning that the truant really paid for his pleasure; and +the price was sharp, for there was no caning to be compared with that +which followed a day in the country. It was a point of honour that no +boy should show distress; but even veterans bit their lips as the cane +fell first on the right hand and then on the left, and right across the +palm, and sometimes doubling on the back of the hand, if the cane was +young and flexible. Speug, though a man of war and able to endure +anything, used to warm his hands at the fire, if the weather was cold, +before going in to the inquisition, and after he had received a +switching of the first order he would go down to the lade and cool his +hands in the running water. It was an interesting spectacle to see four +able-bodied sinners, who yesterday had given themselves to the study of +Nature, now kneeling together, to efface their penalty in our waters of +Lethe; but you must remember that they made no moan before the boys, and +no complaint against the master. The school received them with respect +when they came out, and Speug would indicate with a wink and a jerk of +his head that Bulldog had exceeded himself; but he was not to be trifled +with for an hour or two, and if any ill-mannered cub ventured to come +too near when Peter was giving his hands a cold bath, the chances are +that Peter gave the cub a bath, too, "just to teach him to be looking +where he had no business." + +Possibly fear of consequences might hinder some weak-hearted boys, but +it never prevented any of the hardy ruffians from having their day out +when the fever seized them. Playing truant was the same thing for a boy +as bolting for a high-spirited horse; done once, the animal is bound to +try it again, and to both, the joy of their respective sins must be very +much the same. Boys did not plan a week ahead and then go astray in cold +blood, because this sin was not an act of malice aforethought--it was a +sudden impulse, not a matter of the will so much as of the blood. Had +one determined on Tuesday night to take Wednesday, it might have turned +out in our fickle climate a cheerless day, when a boy would as soon be +playing marbles in the breaks, or cricket in the dinner-hour, or, for +that matter, amusing himself in Moossy's class. No; a boy rose in the +morning ready to go to school, without a thought of wood or +water--arranging his marbles, in fact, for the day, and planning how to +escape a lesson he had not prepared; but he was helpless against Nature +if she set herself to tempt him. No sooner had he put his nose outside +the door than the summer air, sweet and fresh, began to play upon his +face and reminded him of a certain wood. As he went through the streets +of the town, a glimpse of the river, steely blue that morning in the +sunshine, brought up a pool where a fat trout was sure to be lying. As +he crossed the North Meadow, the wind was blowing free from the +Highlands, and was laden with the scent of hay and flowers, and sent his +blood a-tingling. The books upon his back grew woefully heavy, and the +Seminary reminded him of the city gaol frowning out on the fields with +its stately and unrelenting face. He loitered by the lade and saw the +clear water running briskly, and across the meadow he could catch a +glimpse of the river, and in the distance the Kilspindie Woods with +their mysterious depths, and rising high above the houses on the other +side of the river was the hill where he spent last Saturday. The bell +rings and he goes in, but not to work; the river is running through his +heart, and the greenery is before his eyes, and the wind coming in puffs +through the open window awakens the instinct of the wild animal in his +breast and invites him to be free. Speug has a slate before him, but he +is not pretending to do anything, he is looking out on the Meadow, and +sniffing the air, just like a horse about to make its bolt. He catches +Howieson's eye and reads that Jock is ready. Howieson inquires by signal +of Bauldie whether he prefers compound fractions to a swim, and Bauldie +explains, also by signal, that, much as he loves fractions, he will be +obliging that afternoon and join them in their swim. A fourth would +complete the party; and when Speug lifts his eyebrows with great +dramatic art to "Piggie" Mitchell, three desks off, "Piggie," like the +gallant spirit that he was, answers with a nod that he will not be found +wanting. Not a word has been said, and no one will say "Truant" at any +time, but at the next break the four separate themselves quietly and +unobtrusively from their fellows, and by the time the last boy has gone +through the door, they are scudding across the meadow to Speug's +stable-yard, where they will make their preparations. Sometimes nothing +more is needed than a hunch of bread and some fish-hooks; but as they +ran Speug had dropped the word Woody Island, and a day on Woody Island +was a work of art. It lay a couple of miles above the town, long and +narrow, formed with a division of the river into its main current and a +sluggish backwater. It was covered with dense brushwood, except where +here and there a patch of green turf was left bare, and the island was +indented with little bays where the river rippled on clean sand and +gravel. It was only a little island, but yet you could lose yourself in +it, so thick was the wood and so mazy, and then you had to find your +comrades by signal; and it had little tracks through it, and there was +one place where you could imagine a hole in the bank to be a cave, and +where certainly two boys could get out of sight if they lay very close +together and did not mind being half smothered. When you went to Woody +Island, and left the mainland, you were understood to blot out the +Seminary and Muirtown and Scotland and civilisation. Woody Island was +somewhere in the wild West, and was still in the possession of the +children of the forest; the ashes of their fires could be seen any day +there, and you could come upon their wigwams in one of the open spots. +There was a place where they had massacred three trappers and taken +their scalps, and in that cave "Bull's-eye Charlie," the famous Indian +scout, lying curled up like a ball, and with only the mouth of his rifle +peeping out, had held twenty of the red-skinned braves at bay for a +whole day. It was a fairy world in which our Indian tales could be +reproduced upon the stage, and we ourselves could be the heroes we had +so often admired. The equipment for the day consisted of four tomahawks +(three axes out of small tool chests and one axe for breaking coals +which "Piggie" used to steal for the day) two pistols (one belonging to +Speug and the other to Bauldie); a couple of toy rifles--not things for +kids, mark you, but long rifles with bayonets, and which could fire +caps; a tent, which was in reality an old carriage cloth from Peter's +yard; and a kettle for boiling water--I mean cooking the game--which +Jock Howieson abstracted from his kitchen. Each boy had to visit his +home on pretence of returning for a book, and bring away the necessary +articles of war and as much food as he could steal from the pantry; and +then everything, axes included, and, if possible, the rifles had to be +hidden away about their persons until the four, skulking by back lanes, +and separating from one another, reached the top of the North Meadow, +after which they went up the bank of the river, none daring to make them +afraid. They were out of bounds now, and the day was before them for +weal or woe, and already Speug was changing into an Indian trapper, and +giving directions about how they must deal with the Seminoles (see Mayne +Reid), while Howieson had begun to speculate whether they would have a +chance of meeting with the famous chief, Oceola. "Piggie" might want to +try a cap on his rifle, but Speug would not allow him, because, although +they had not yet entered the Indian territory, the crafty foe might have +scouts out on this side of the river, and in that case there was no hope +of Woody Island. The Indians would be in ambush among the trees on the +bank, and the four would be shot down as they crossed. + +Their first enemy, however, was not Oceola's Indians, but a white man--a +renegade--who, to his shame, was in alliance with the Indians and was +always ready to betray the trappers into their hands. This miscreant was +a farmer on the mainland, who was the tenant of Woody Island, and had a +determined objection to any boys, or other savages, except, as I have +said, the Seminole tribe living on the island, and who used to threaten +pains and penalties against anyone whom he caught on his land. One never +knew when he might be about, and it was absolutely necessary to reach +the island without his notice. There was a day in the past when Speug +used to watch till the farmer had gone into his midday dinner, and then +creep along the bank of the river and ferry himself across with the +other trappers in the farmer's boat, which he then worked round to the +other side of the island and kept there for the return voyage in the +evening, so that the farmer was helpless to reach the island, and could +only address the unseen trespassers in opprobrious language from the +bank, which was sent back to him in faithful echo. This forenoon the +farmer happened to be hoeing turnips with his people in a field opposite +the island, and Speug was delighted beyond measure, for now the four had +to drop down and crawl along through the thick grass by the river's +edge, availing themselves of every bush and little knoll till they lay, +with all their arms, the tent, and the food, concealed so near the +farmer that they could hear him speak and hear the click of the hoes as +the people worked in their drills. If you raised your head cautiously +and looked through between the branches of a shrub, you could see him, +and Bauldie actually covered him with his rifle. The unconscious farmer +knew not that his life hung upon a thread, or, rather, upon Bauldie's +trigger. Bauldie looked inquiringly to his chief, for he would dearly +have loved to fire a cap, but Speug shook his head so fiercely that the +trapper dropped down in his lair, and Speug afterwards explained that +the renegade had certainly deserved death, but that it was dangerous to +fire with so many of his gang present, and the Seminoles on the other +side of the river. By and by the farmer and his people had worked +themselves to the other end of the field, and the trappers, having +ascertained that there were no Indians watching them, prepared to cross. +Speug, who had reached the boat, spoke out suddenly and unadvisedly, for +the farmer had chained and padlocked the boat. It would not have +mattered much to the boys in ordinary circumstances, for they would have +stripped and swum across, and back again when they were tired of the +other side, for every one of them could swim like an otter; but that day +they were trappers, with arms, and food, and a tent, and powder which +must be kept dry, to say nothing of the kettle. There was a brief +consultation, and Bauldie regretted that he did not shoot the farmer +dead on the spot, and as many of his people as they could. Speug, who +had been prowling around--though cautiously, mind you, and ever watching +for a sign of the Seminoles--gave a low, mysterious whistle, which was +one of the signs among the trappers; and when the others joined him he +pointed and whispered, "A Seminole canoe." It was an ancient boat which +the farmer's father had used, and which had lain for years upon the +bank, unused. Its seats were gone, its planks were leaking, it had two +holes at least in it, and there were no oars. It was a thing which, in +the farmer's hand, would have sunk six yards from the shore, but it had +the semblance of a boat, and it was enough for the hardy trappers. Very +carefully did they work it to the bank, lest it should slip a whole +plank on the road, and very gently did they drop it in, lest the +Seminoles should hear. "Piggie" stuffed one hole with his bonnet, and +Bauldie the second with his; Jock spread his jacket over an oozy part. +They shipped all their stores, and one of them got in to bale, and the +others, stripping off their clothes and adding them to the cargo of the +boat, pushed out the boat before them, swimming by its side. It was a +mere question of time whether the boat would go down in mid-channel; but +so splendidly did "Piggie" bale, ready at any moment to swim for his +life, and so powerfully did the others push, swimming with their feet +and one hand, and with the other hand guiding the boat, that they +brought it over safely to the other side; and the fact that half their +clothes were wet through mattered little to men who had often hidden +from the Indians in the water, with nothing but their eyes and nose out; +and, at any rate, the food was safe. The matches and the percussion caps +also were dry, for "Piggie" had taken care of that, and, in the worst +emergency, they would have been carried on the top of his head if he +also had been obliged to swim. They brought the boat into a little +creek, and, communicating by signs to one another--for they were too +old hunters to be speaking now, when there might be a party of Seminoles +in that very wood--Speug and Jock hid themselves, each behind a tree +with rifle in hand, to cover the others, while "Piggie" and Bauldie drew +the boat up under cover of the bushes, and hid it out of sight, so that +even a Seminole's keen eyes would not have been able to detect it. The +trappers made another hiding-place, and left there the superfluous +garments of civilisation, confining themselves to a shirt and trousers, +and a belt which holds the pistol and tomahawk. Speug and Jock, as the +two veterans who could discover the trail of the Seminoles by a twisted +leaf on a branch, or a broken stick on the ground, warned their friends +to lie low, and they themselves disappeared into the brushwood. They had +gone to scout, and to make sure that no wandering party of Indians was +in the vicinity. By and by a wood-pigeon cooed three times, "Piggie" +nodded to Bauldie, and Bauldie hooted like an owl, then they knew that +it was safe to advance. The two rejoined the scouts, whom they found on +the edge of a clearing, leaning on their rifles in a picturesque +attitude. "Bull's-eye Charlie" led, and the others followed, pausing now +and again at a sound in the woods, and once at a signal from +"Bull's-eye" they separated swiftly, and each took up his position +behind a tree. But it was a false alarm. Then they went on as before, +till they came to a pretty spot on the other side of the island, where +they made their camp, cutting a pole for the tent, lighting a fire, +which they did with immense success, and proceeding to cook dinner. As +they had been afraid to fire, for fear of attracting any wandering +Indian's notice, they had no deer nor wild turkey, which, in other +circumstances, would have been their food; but they made tea (very +badly, and largely because they wished to use the kettle), and they had +bread and butter, which had turned into oil through the warmth of +Bauldie's person, a half ham which Speug contributed, a pot of jam for +which "Piggie" will have to account some day, and six jam tarts which +Howieson bought with his last farthing, and which had been reduced +practically to one in Jock's pocket. Speug had managed two bottles of +stone ginger-beer, which were deeply valued, and afforded them a big +mouthful each, as they drank without any cup, and shared honestly by +calculation of time. + +[Illustration: "THEY DRANK WITHOUT ANY CUP."] + +What a day they had! They fought Indians from one end of the island to +the other, killing and scalping twenty-nine. They bathed in the quieter +current on the other side, and they dried themselves in the sun, and in +the sun they slept till they were burned red; and then just as they were +thinking that it was time to go back to the camp and gather together +their belongings and set off for home, Speug gave a whistle that had in +it this time no pretence of danger, and bolted into the wood, followed +by the other three. Whether he had heard the firing, or the Seminoles +had sent a message, they never knew, but the farmer was on the island +and proceeding in their direction through the brushwood. Speug did not +think that he had seen them, and he would not quite know where they +were, and in an instant that leader of men had formed what he thought +the best of all his plans. He gave his directions to the other three, +who executed a war-dance at the mere thought of the strategy, and then +departed hurriedly for the camp; but Speug, who was naked, and not +ashamed, started rapidly in an opposite direction, and just gave the +farmer a glimpse of him as he hurried up the island. + +"Ye're there, are ye, ye young blackguards! Wait till I catch ye; +trespassin' and lightin' fires, I'll be bound; it's Perth gaol ye'll be +in the nicht, or I'm no farmer of Middleton. Ye may hide if ye please, +but I'll find ye, and ye'll no get the old boat to go back in, for I've +found that, clever as ye thought yourselves, and knocked the bottom oot +o' it." + +It was twenty minutes before he discovered Speug, and then Speug was +standing on the edge of the water at the top of the island, where the +current runs swift and strong towards the other side. + +"Was it me ye were seekin'?" said Speug, rosy red all over, but not with +modesty. "I thought I heard somebody crying. We're glad to see ye on the +island. Have ye come to bathe?" + +"Wait till I get a grip of ye, ye impident little deevil, and, my word, +I'll bathe ye," and the farmer made for Speug. + +"I'll bathe mysel'," said Speug, when the enemy almost had his hands on +him, and dived into the river, coming up nearly opposite the horrified +man; and then, as he went down with the current which took him over to +the opposite side, he invited the farmer to come in. When he landed +Speug bade the farmer good-bye with much courtesy, and hoped he would +enjoy himself among his Indian friends. + +"Wait till I cross," shouted the farmer, "and I'll be after ye, and +though I ransack Muirtown I'll find ye out. Ye're a gey like spectacle +to go back to the town. Ye'll no escape me this time, whoever ye be," +and the farmer hurried down the island to his boat, which he had loosely +fastened to one of the trees. When he reached the spot it was not to be +found, but he could see his boat lying in its accustomed place on the +other side, chained and padlocked. For the other three trappers had +gathered all their possessions and clothed themselves like gentlemen, +and taking Speug's clothes with them, ferried themselves across with +rapidity and dignity. Once more Speug bade the farmer good-night, +extending both hands to him in farewell, but now the one hand was in +front of the other, and the thumb of the inner hand attached to Speug's +nose. He thoughtfully offered to take any message to Muirtown gaol or +to the Provost that the farmer desired, and departed, wishing him a +pleasant night and telling him where he would find the shank of a ham. +As Peter dressed himself, his friends could only look at him in silent +admiration, till at the thought of the renegade trapped so neatly and +confined for at least a night on his own island, Howieson slapped his +legs and triumphed aloud. And the four returned to Muirtown and to +civilisation full of joy. + + + + +GUERILLA WARFARE + +XII + + +There is no person in a Scots country town to be compared with a Bailie +for authority and dignity, and Bailie MacConachie, of Muirtown, was a +glory to his order. Provosts might come and go--creatures of three +years--but this man remained in office for ever, and so towered above +his brethren of the same kind, that the definite article was attached to +his title, and to quote "the Bailie" without his name was the recognised +form and an end to all controversy. Nature had been kind to him, and, +entering into the designs of Providence, had given him a bodily +appearance corresponding to his judicial position. He stood six feet in +his boots, and his erect carriage conveyed the impression of six inches +more. His waistband passed forty-eight inches; but, to do the great man +justice, his chest measure was forty-two. His chin rested in folds upon +his stock, and his broad, clean-shaven, solemn, immovable countenance +suggested unfathomable depths of wisdom. His voice was deep and husky, +and the clearance of his throat with which he emphasised his +deliverances could be heard half a street away and was like the sealing +of a legal deed. Never since he became a Bailie had he seen his +boots--at least upon his feet--and his gait, as became his elevation, +was a stately amble, as when a huge merchant-man puts out to sea, +driving the water before her bow and yet swaying gently from side to +side in her progress. Sunday and Saturday--except when officiating at +the Sacrament, and of course he was then in full blacks--the Bailie wore +exactly the same kind of dress--a black frock-coat, close buttoned, and +grey trousers, with a dark blue stock, his one concession to colour. As +his position was quite assured, being, in the opinion of many, second +only to that of the Sheriff and the Fiscal, he could afford to wear his +clothes to the bone, and even to carry one or two stains upon his paunch +as a means of identification. Walking through the town, he stood at his +full height, with his hands folded upon the third button of his coat; +but when he reached the North Meadow, on his way home, and passed the +Seminary, he allowed his head to droop, and clasped his hands behind +after the manner of the great Napoleon, and then it was understood that +the Bailie's mind was wrestling with the affairs of State. People made +way for him upon the streets as he sailed along, and were pleased with a +recognition, which always took the form of a judgment from the Bench, +even though it dealt only with the weather or the crops. + +There was no occasion, either in the Council or in the Presbytery, when +the Bailie did not impress; but every one agreed that he rose to his +height on the Bench. No surprise, either of evidence or of law, could be +sprung on him, no sensational incident ever stirred him, no excitement +of the people ever carried him away. He was the terror of the publicans, +and would refuse a license if he saw fit without any fear; but if the +teetotalers tried to dictate to him, he would turn upon them and rend +his own friends without mercy. When any Muirtown sinner was convicted in +his court he would preface his sentence with a ponderous exhortation, +and if the evidence were not sufficient he would allow the accused to go +as an act of grace, but warn him never to appear again, lest a worse +thing should befall him. There are profane people in every community, +and there were those in Muirtown who used to say in private places that +the Bailie was only a big drum, full of emptiness and sound; but the +local lawyers found it best to treat him with respect; and until the +Seminary boys took his Majesty in hand he had never been worsted. No +doubt an Edinburgh advocate, who had been imported into a petty case to +browbeat the local Bench, thought he had the Bailie on the hip when that +eminent man, growing weary of continual allusions to "the defunct," said +that if he heard anything more about "the defunct" he would adjourn the +case for a week, and allow him to appear in his own interests. Then the +advocate explained with elaborate politeness that he was afraid that +even the summons of the Muirtown Bench could not produce this party, and +that his appearance, if he came, might secure the court to himself. + +"You mean," said the Bailie, eyeing the advocate with unmoved dignity, +"that the man is dead. Quite so! Quite so! But let me tell you that if +you had been a Muirtown solicitor you would have had your case better +prepared, and not wasted our time with the talk of dead people. You are +still young, and when you have had more experience you will know that it +is only the evidence of living witnesses that can be received in a court +of justice. Proceed with your case and confine yourself to relevant +evidence--yes, sir, relevant evidence." + +It only shows the inherent greatness of the man, that in private life +the Bailie followed the calling of an Italian warehouseman, which +really, in plain words, was the same thing as a superior grocer, nor was +he above his trade for eight hours of the day. When not engaged in +official work, he could be found behind his counter, and yet even there +he seemed to be upon the Bench. His white apron he wore as a robe of +office, he heard what the ladies had to say with a judicial air, +correcting them if they hinted at any tea costing less than four and +sixpence per pound, commanding a cheese to be brought forward for +inspection, as if it had been a prisoner in the dock, probing it with +searching severity and giving a judgment upon it from which there was no +appeal. He distinguished between customers, assigning to each such +provisions as were suitable for their several homes, inquiring in a +paternal manner after the welfare of their children, and when the case +was concluded--that is to say, the tea and the sugar bought--even +condescending to a certain high level of local gossip. When the customer +left the shop it was with a sense of privilege, as if one had been +called up for a little to sit with the judge. It was understood that +only people of a certain standing were included among the Bailie's +customers, and the sight of the Countess of Kilspindie's carriage at his +door marked out his province of business. Yet if a little lassie +stumbled into the shop and asked for a pennyworth of peppermints, he +would order her to be served, adding a peppermint or two more, and some +good advice which sent away the little woman much impressed; for though +the Bailie committed one big, blazing indiscretion, and suffered +terribly in consequence thereof, he was a good and honest man. + +The Bailie made only one public mistake in his life, but it was on the +largest scale, and every one wondered that a man so sagacious should +have deliberately entered into a feud with the boys of the Seminary. The +Bailie had battled in turn with the Licensed Victuallers, who as a +fighting body are not to be despised, and with the Teetotalers, whom +every wise man who loves peace of mind leaves alone; with the Tories, +who were his opponents, and with the Liberals, his own party, when he +happened to disagree with them; with the Town Council, whom he +vanquished, and with the Salmon Fishery Board, whom he brought to terms; +but all those battles were as nothing to a campaign with the boys. There +is all the difference in the world between a war with regulars, +conducted according to the rules of military science, and a series of +guerilla skirmishes, wherein all the chances are with the alert and +light-armed enemy. Any personage who goes to war with boys is bound to +be beaten, for he may threaten and attack, but he can hardly ever hurt +them, and never possibly can conquer them; and they will buzz round him +like wasps, will sting him and then be off, will put him to shame before +the public, will tease him on his most sensitive side, will lie in wait +for him in unexpected places with an ingenuity and a perseverance and a +mercilessness which are born of the Devil, who in such matters is the +unfailing ally of all genuine boys. + +It was no doubt annoying to a person of the Bailie's dignity and +orderliness to see the terrace in which the Seminary stood, and which +had the honour of containing his residence, turned into a playground, +and outrageous that Jock Howieson, playing rounders in front of a +magistrate's residence, should send the ball crack through the +plate-glass window of a magistrate's dining-room. It was fearsome +conduct on the part of Jock, and even the ball itself should have known +better; but the Bailie might have been certain that Jock did not intend +to lose his ball and his game also, and the maddest thing the magistrate +could do was to make that ball a cause of war. It was easy enough to go +to Bulldog's class-room and lodge a complaint, but as he could not +identify the culprit, and no one would tell on Jock, the Bailie departed +worsted, and the address which he gave the boys was received with +derision. When he turned from the boys to the master, he fared no +better, for Bulldog who hated tell-tales and had no particular respect +for Bailies, told the great man plainly that his (Bulldog's) +jurisdiction ceased at the outer door of the Seminary, and that it was +not his business to keep order in the Terrace. Even the sergeant, when +the Bailie commanded him to herd the boys in the courtyard, forgot the +respect due to a magistrate, and refused point-blank, besides adding a +gratuitous warning, which the Bailie deeply resented, to let the matter +drop, or else he'd repent the day when he interfered with the laddies. + +"I was a sergeant in the Black Watch, Bailie, and I was through the +Crimean War--ye can see my medals; but it takes me all my time to keep +the pack in hand within my ain jurisdiction; and if ye meddle wi' them +outside yir jurisdiction, I tell ye, Bailie, they'll mak' a fool o' ye +afore they're done w' ye in face o' all Muirtown. There's a way o' +managin' them, but peety ye if ye counter them. Noo, when they broke the +glass in the Count's windows, if he didna pretend that he couldna +identify them and paid the cost himself! He may be French, but he's +long-headed, for him and the laddies are that friendly there's naething +they woudna do for him. As ye value yir peace o' mind, Bailie, and yir +poseetion in Muirtown, dinna quarrel wi' the Seminary. They're fine +laddies as laddies go; but for mischief, they're juist born deevils." + +There is a foolish streak in every man, and the Bailie went on to his +doom. As the authorities of the Seminary refused to do their duty--for +which he would remember them in the Council when questions of salary and +holidays came up--the Bailie fell back on the police, who had their own +thoughts of his policy, but dared not argue with a magistrate; and one +morning an able-bodied constable appeared on the scene and informed the +amazed school that he was there to prevent them playing on the Terrace. +No doubt he did his duty according to his light, but neither he nor six +constables could have quelled the Seminary any more than you can hold +quicksilver in your hand. When he walked with stately step up and down +the broad pavement before Bulldog's windows, the Seminary went up and +played opposite the Bailie's house, introducing his name into +conversation, with opprobrious remarks regarding the stoutness of his +person, and the emptiness of his head, and finally weaving the story of +his life into a verse of poetry which was composed by Speug, but is not +suitable for a book of family reading. If the constable, with the fear +of the magistrate before his eyes, went up to stand as a guard of honour +before the Bailie's house, the school went down then to the Russian guns +and held a meeting of triumph, challenging the constable to come back to +the Seminary, and telling him what they would do to him. They formed a +bodyguard round him some days, keeping just out of reach, and marched +along with him, backward and forward; other days they chaffed and teased +him till his life was a burden to him, for he had no power to arrest +them, and in his heart he sympathised with them. And then, at last, +being weary of the constable, the school turned its attention to the +Bailie. + +One afternoon a meeting of choice spirits was held in the North Meadow, +beyond the supervision of the constable, and after the Bailie had been +called every name of abuse known to the Seminary, and Speug had +ransacked the resources of the stable yard in profanity, he declared +that the time had now come for active operation, and that the war must +be carried into the enemy's country. Speug declared his conviction in +the vernacular of the school, which is here translated into respectable +language, that the Bailie was a gentleman of doubtful birth and +discreditable pedigree, that his conduct as a boy was beyond +description, and that his private life was stained with every vice; that +his intellect would give him a right to be confined in the county +asylum, and that he had also qualified by his way of living for the +county gaol; that he didn't wash more than once a year, and that the +smell of him was like to that from a badger's hole; that it was a pity +he didn't attend to his own business, and that he had very little +business to do; that he would soon be bankrupt, and that if he wasn't +bankrupt already it was only because he cheated with his change; that he +sanded his sugar, and that his weights and measures were a scandal; but +that the Seminary must do what they could to lead him to honest ways and +teach him industry, and that he (Speug) with the aid of one or two +friends would do his best for the reformation of Bailie MacConachie, and +in this way return good for evil, as Mr. Byles, assistant in the +department of mathematics, used to teach. And the school waited with +expectation for the missionary effort upon which Speug with the +assistance of Howieson and Bauldie, was understood to be engaged. + +Next Friday evening an art committee met in a stable-loft on the +premises of Mr. McGuffie senior, and devoted their skill--which was +greater than they ever showed in their work--to the elaboration of a +high-class advertisement which was to be shown round a certain district +in Muirtown, and which they hoped would stimulate the custom at Bailie +MacConachie's shop. Howieson had provided two large boards such as might +be hung one on the breast and one on the back of a man, and those Speug +had cut to the proper size and pasted over with thick white paper. Upon +them Bauldie, who had quite a talent for drawing, wrought diligently for +a space of two hours, with the assistance and encouragement of his +friends, and when they set the boards up against the wall the committee +was greatly pleased. Speug read aloud the advertisement with much +unction-- + + + _CHEAP TEA! CHEAP TEA! CHEAP TEA!_ + + SALE OF BANKRUPT STOCK + AT + BAILIE MACCONACHIE'S + _THE FAMOUS ITALIAN WAREHOUSEMAN_, + 49, ST. ANDREW STREET. + + ELEVENPENCE-HALFPENNY PER POUND. + + _Sale Begins at One o'clock on Saturday._ + GLASS OF WHISKY FREE TO ALL PURCHASERS. + _Poor People Specially Invited._ + _Be early._ _Be early._ + + BAILIE MACCONACHIE'S + _CHEAP TEA! CHEAP TEA! CHEAP TEA!_ + + +The three artists contained themselves till they came to the last "Cheap +Tea!" then Jock knocked Bauldie down among the hay, and Speug fell on +the top of them, and they rolled in one bundle of delight, arising from +time to time to study the advertisement and taste its humour. + +"'Bankrupt stock!'" cried Bauldie, "and him an Elder of the Kirk! +That'll learn him to be complaining of his windows." + +"'Poor people specially invited,' and calls himself an Italian +warehouseman. I would give half a dozen ginger-beer to see Lady +Kilspindie there," stammered Jock with delight. + +"'Glass of whisky free!'"--and Speug took a fresh turn in the hay--"it's +against law to drink whisky in a grocer's shop--and him a magistrate! +He'll no meddle wi' the Seminary again." + +"Be early!'" chanted Jock, "'be early!' My word! They'll be there, all +the waufies of Muirtown; there'll no be room in the street. 'Glass of +whisky free!'" and Jock wiped his eyes with his knuckles. + +Upon Saturday, at noon, just as the Bailie was going along the Terrace +to his house and congratulating himself that on that day at least he was +free from all annoyance by the way, another character of Muirtown had +started out through a very different part of the fair city. London John +was as well known in Muirtown as the Bailie himself, and in his way was +quite as imposing. Tall and gaunt, without an ounce of superfluous +flesh, and with an inscrutable countenance, dressed in a long frock-coat +which he had worn for at least a quarter of a century, and a tall hat +which he had rescued from an ashpit, with the remains of a pair of +trousers, and something in the form of a shirt which was only seen when +he laid aside the outer garment for active service, London John stalked +with majesty through the streets of Muirtown. He earned his living as a +sandwich man, or by carrying in coals, or by going errands, or by +emptying ashpits. He could neither read nor write, but he remembered a +number and never forgot what was due to him, and the solitary subject on +which he spoke was the wonders of London, where it was supposed he had +lost such reason as he had at once possessed. His coming was always +welcome in the poorer parts of the town, for the sake of his discourse +on London, but never had he received such an ovation before in the +Vennel, which was largely inhabited by tramps and tinkers, unskilled +labourers and casuals of all kinds. The cheap tea might not have aroused +their enthusiasm, but at the mention of a free glass of whisky the +deepest emotions of the Vennel were stirred. + +"Tea at elevenpence halfpenny," cried Tinkler Tam, who jogged round the +country with petty wares, which he sold in exchange for rabbit-skins, +old clothes, and other débris of a house, "and a glass of whisky free! +Ma certes? let me get a sight o' that," and London John was brought to a +standstill while Tam read aloud the advertisement to a crowd who could +appreciate the cheapness of the tea, and whose tongues began to hang out +at the very thought of the whisky. + +"A lee!" cried the travelling merchant, touched at the suggestion of +such deceit. "He daurna do sic a thing, else his shop would be gutted. +Na, na, it reads plain as a pikestaff; ye pay elevenpence halfpenny and +ye get a pound of tea and a glass of whisky. I count it handsome o' the +Bailie; and if they didna say he was a teetotaler! It's awfu' how a man +is abused." + +"He gave me six days in the court," said Jess Mitchell, who had had a +difference of opinion with another lady in the Vennel and received the +Bailie's best attention from the Bench, "and if I hadna to hear him +preach a sermon as long as my leg besides--confound him for a +smooth-tongued, psalm-singin', bletherin' old idiot! But I bear him no +grudge; I'll hae a taste o' that whisky, though I'm no mindin' so much +about the tea. The sooner we're at the place the better, for I'll be +bound there'll be more tea bought this day in Muirtown than a' the last +year." And there was a general feeling that the Vennel had better make +no delay, lest some other locality should obtain the first call. + +As London John went on his way the news spread through the back streets +and closes, and the Bailie's generous invitation fell on responsive +ears. And if any person was inclined to doubt there was the +advertisement in plain terms, and over the board with its engaging news +the austere and unmoved countenance of London John. That worthy could +give no information about the remarkable placard, not even from whom he +received it; but he was quite sure that he was to take it through the +Vennel and neighbouring streets for two hours, and that he had received +a shilling for his labour, which he proposed to spend at Bailie +MacConachie's when his task was done. He also explained that in London, +where he used to reside, whisky ran like water, and tea could be had for +the asking. But his hearers had no interest that day in London. + +It struck the Bailie as he returned from midday dinner, and long before +he reached St. Andrew's Street, that something was happening, and he +wondered whether they were changing the cavalry at the barracks. People +looked curiously at him, and having made as though they would have +spoken, passed on, shaking their heads. When he turned into the familiar +street, down which he was accustomed to parade with a double weight of +dignity, an enlivening spectacle met his eyes. Every shopkeeper was out +at his door, and would indeed have been along the street, had he not +judged it wiser to protect his property, and the windows above the shop +were full of faces. Opposite his own most respectable place of business +the street was crammed from side to side with a seething mob, through +which Mr. McGuffie senior was striving to drive a dogcart with slender +success and complaining loudly of obstruction. Respectable working women +were there, together with their husbands, having finished the day's +work; country folk who dropped into town on the Saturday had been +attracted to the scene; the riff-raff of Muirtown had come out from +their dens and lodging-houses, together with that casual population +which has nothing particular to do and is glad of any excitement. They +were of various kinds and different degrees of respectability, but they +were all collected in answer to Bailie MacConachie's generous offer; +they were also all ready to buy the tea, and a large number of them +particularly ready for the whisky. The first to arrive on the scene had +been Tinkler Tam, who put down elevenpence-halfpenny in copper money +upon the counter with a crash, and informed the Bailie's senior +assistant that to save time he would just take the whisky while they +were making up the tea, and was promptly ordered out of the shop for an +impudent, drunken blackguard. Thomas, in the course of a varied life, +was not unaccustomed to be called disrespectful names, and it was not +the first time he had been requested to leave high class premises; but +for once, at least, he had a perfectly good conscience and a strong +ground of complaint. + +"Impident, am I, and drunken, did ye say, ye meeserable, white-faced +effeegy of a counter-jumper? If I werena present on business I would put +such a face on you that yir mother wouldna know you; but I'm here wi' my +friends" (great applause from the doorway, where the crowd was listening +to the interview) "for a commercial transaction. Div ye no ken, ye +misshapen object, that we're here on a special invitation of yir master, +sent this mornin' to the Vennel?" (strong confirmation given under oath +by Jess Mitchell), "and I'll juist give you the terms thereof, ye +two-faced, leein', unprincipled wratch" (enthusiastic support from the +street). + +The ambassador of the proletariat--whose constituency filled the outer +part of the shop, pressed their faces against the window and swayed with +impatience across the street, and also seized a lamp-post for purposes +of observation--rehearsed the terms of the advertisement with +considerable accuracy and expounded them with various figures of speech, +and then issued his ultimatum. + +"Ye have heard the invitation sent oot by a magistrate o' Perth, and a +man whom I've met on public occasions" (Tarn had been prosecuted before +the Bailie under the Game Acts): "we're here in response to a public +advertisement in terms thereof, and my money is on the counter. I call +these persons present to witness that I've fulfilled my side of the +covenant, and I here and now before these witnesses demand the tea and +the whisky as above stated" (howls from the crowd, who were greatly +impressed by this judicial effort, and were getting every minute more +thirsty). + +"It's maist extraordinary that the Bailie is no here himsel' to receive +his friends; but what is done by the servant is done by the +master--that's good law" (vehement support from Jess Mitchell, who at +the smell of the shop was getting beyond control); "and I give ye two +meenuts, my dainty young friend, and if the material be not forthcoming +at the end of that time, the law will allow us to help ourselves, and +gin ye offer ony resistance I'll pit ye and yir neebour inside the +sugar-cask." And it was fortunate for every person concerned that the +police, who had been somewhat perplexed by the circumstances, arrived at +the scene, and turned Tinkler Tam and his friends into the street and +themselves stood guard over the shop. It was at this point that the +Bailie arrived and was received with frantic applause and a Babel of +appeal. + +[Illustration: "BEFORE HIM STOOD LONDON JOHN BEARING THE SEDUCTIVE +ADVERTISEMENT."] + +"Hurrah for the Bailie! Come awa' man, quick, else yir shop will be +wreckit. Where ha' ye been? The folk are cryin' oot for ye. It's time ye +started on the tea and the whisky. Make way for the Bailie. He's coming +to start the auction. Three cheers for Bailie MacConachie!" And the +Bailie, limp and dishevelled, amazed and furious, was hustled through +the crowd to see the Italian warehouse guarded by the police, and the +mob of Muirtown clamouring for tea and whisky at his hand, while face to +face with him stood London John, who had now been produced for the +occasion, bearing on his back and breast the seductive advertisement. + +"It's a brazen lie!" And the enraged Bailie lost all self-control as he +read the legend on the board. "A low, mean, dirty trick, a deliberately +planned fraud. It's perfectly iniquitous, in fact, juist--juist +damnable! Bankrupt--who is bankrupt? Is't me?" And the veins on the +Bailie's neck swelled visibly. "Tea at elevenpence-halfpenny! I never +had such trash in my shop. Three shillings is the lowest, and I never +recommended it. Whisky!--there is not a drop in the shop. Who dare say I +would turn this shop into a public-house? I'll be at the bottom of this, +though it cost me a thousand pounds. Who hired ye to carry round the +board, ye peetiful creature? If ye don't tell the truth I'll commit ye +to gaol this very meenute." And the Bailie turned the battery of his +wrath upon London John, who was greatly flattered by his own prominent +position, and not at all concerned about the Bailie's threat. + +"It was," replied the Mercury of the Vennel, with great composure, "a +big, stout man like yirsel', Bailie, that gied me the boards and a +shillin'; or, noo that I think about it, he wasna so big, he was a +little man, and gey shilpit (thin) about the neck. Dod! I'm no very +sure, though, but that it was a woman wi' a red face and a shepherd's +tartan plaid; at ony rate, if it wasna her it micht be a bit lassie wi' +bare head and feet; and I'm thinkin' noo, Bailie, it was a bit lassikie, +for she said to me, 'Have ye ever been in London?' Noo, Bailie, I would +like to tell you about London." And if the police had not silenced +London John, the Bailie at that moment would have had a fit of apoplexy, +for it was evident that the trail was blind and there was no getting to +the real person behind London John. + +The crowd had listened with considerable patience and self-restraint to +this conversation, but as soon as the hope of tea and refreshment died +away, and they realised that some one had fooled them, they looked out +for a victim, and settled upon the Bailie. + +"Ye should be ashamed of yourself," and Tinkler Tam, standing out from +the midst of the crowd, and sitting as it were upon the bench sentenced +the Bailie in the dock. "It's a fine business to be playing tricks on +the poor folk o' Muirtown, wilin' them from their work to waste their +time at your shop-door and sendin' them awa' empty-handed. If it had +been the first o' April, and ye had been a laddie, I wouldna hev said +much aboot it; but at your age, and you a magistrate, to play sic a +trick, it's perfectly disgraceful. Ye ought to get a month's hard +labour, but aye thing's sure, ye'll no long be a Bailie o' Muirtown. It +was fearsome to hear ye askin' London John who gave him the shillin' +when he describit ye juist as ye are standing; then the puir body, when +ye threatened him, brought in the lassie. Man, though ye're a Bailie and +I'm naething but Tinkler Tam, I would scorn to make use of a poor +natural that hasna his wits, juist to feed my vanity and gither a crowd +round my shop." Then the crowd united in three long groans, and possibly +might have shown their indignation in a still more pronounced form, but +the police, being still further reinforced, drove them along the +streets, while the Bailie hid himself in the recesses of his shop. + +Three minutes later Speug sauntered into the shop with Howieson and +Bauldie, and demanded a pennyworth of peppermint drops. He also remarked +to Jock, as they were being folded up, "If there be as mony o' the +Bailie's friends callin' at the shop on Monday, I doubt the police will +no be able to spare a constable to keep order on the Terrace." And as a +matter of fact the offensive patrol was withdrawn, and the Seminary +resumed possession of the debatable ground. + + + + +THE FALL OF GOLIATH + +XIII + + +Bailie MacConachie made a mistake when he risked a war with the boys of +the Seminary, and it was colossal folly on his part to continue the war +after his first defeat in the affair of the advertisement. No doubt it +was humiliating to have his respectable place of business filled with +the mob of Muirtown demanding whisky as a right, and threatening him +with penalties as a covenant-breaker when they did not get it; he had +also very good reasons for believing that the unholy inspiration which +gathered the vagrants to his shop came from the Seminary. His best +policy, however, would have been to treat the matter as a joke; and if +the Bailie had stopped on his way to dinner, and told the boys plainly +that he knew quite well they were at the bottom of the affair, that they +were a set of confounded young rascals, that he had intended to hang six +of them and send the rest to penal servitude, that he was going to +forgive them for the sake of their unhappy parents, and because it had +not been half bad fun after all, that there would be no more policemen +before the Seminary, and there must be no more windows smashed in his +(the Bailie's) house--the Seminary, which always respected a fellow who +took his licking with good humour and didn't squeal, would have given +the Bailie the best cheer he ever got in his public career, and a +covenant of peace would have been made between him and the boys which +would never have been forgotten. Had another pane of glass been broken +by a Seminary ball, the value thereof in a packet of halfpence, with an +expression of regret, would have been handed in before evening. The +honorary freedom of the school would have been conferred on the Bailie, +without any public ceremony, but with immense practical advantage, and +although the Bailie was surfeited with civic honours, yet even he might +have tasted a new pleasure as he passed along the terrace to see the +boys suspend a game for an instant to let him pass in stately walk, and +to hear Speug cry, "Oot o' the Bailie's road," and to receive a salute +from tailless Highland bonnets that were touched to none outside the +school, except to the Count and Dr. Manley. If Providence had given a +touch of imagination to the Bailie, and his head had not been swollen by +a position approaching that of the angels, he would have come to terms +at once with the boys, in which case bygones would have been bygones, +and he would have been spared much humiliation. + +Unfortunately the Bailie allowed his temper to get the better of him, +raging furiously in public places, and breathing forth threatenings +about what he would do to the plotter, till all Muirtown, which +otherwise might have pitied him, held its sides. He kept our single +detective at work for a fortnight, who finally extracted from London +John that the "boardies" containing the shameful advertisement had been +given him by a man uncommonly like the detective himself and that the +said "boardies" were not to be compared with those he used to carry in +London. The detective also learned, on a somewhat risky visit to Mr. +McGuffie's stables, that the Speug had spent the whole day of that +historical Saturday till the hour of two--when he called for peppermints +at the Bailie's shop--in cleaning out his rabbit-hutch and other +domestic duties--this on the testimony of three of Mr. McGuffie's +grooms, each of whom was willing to swear the same anywhere, or fight +the detective, with gloves or without gloves, in the stable-yard or any +other place which might be agreed upon. The Bailie also, going from bad +to worse, offered a reward of £5 for any information which would lead to +the conviction of the offender, and received thirty letters--so many +anonymous, attacking his character, public and private, and so many +signed, from various cranks in Muirtown, in which the crime was +assigned to Irish Roman Catholics, to the Publicans, to the +Morisonians, and to a tribe of gypsies camped outside the city. They +were all annoying, but there were two which cut the Bailie to the quick. +One was written from the security of Glasgow, in which the writer +promised, on receipt of the reward, to send a full account of the +conspiracy, and, having got the money, replied briefly that he left the +matter to the Bailie's own conscience; and the second, which asked for +no reward except the writer's sense of having done his duty, and which +hinted that if the Bailie put the question straight to his senior +assistant, he might find he had been nourishing a viper in his bosom, +and that a young man with such a smug appearance could be little else +than a rascal. This letter, which was written in a schoolboy hand, and +had five words misspelt, was signed, "An Elder of the Free Kirk." None +of the letters seemed to help the matter forward, and life at the +Bailie's residence was very troubled during those weeks. + +When news of the Bailie's vindictive spirit spread through the Seminary, +the boys were much pained, for it was sad to see an old man forgetting +himself and harbouring a spirit of revenge. It seemed, indeed, as if all +they had done for the Bailie was simply love's labour lost, and that +they must begin again to bring him to a proper state of mind. The +Seminary loved peace and hated war, being a body of quiet, +well-behaved, hard-working lads. Still, if war was forced upon them, and +detectives set upon their track, it was a duty to themselves and their +families to meet the situation bravely. Nothing could have been more +successful than the last campaign; and, although Speug had never +boasted, and none dared say that he had anything to do with it, there +was a feeling in the Seminary that the conduct of the next campaign was +safe in his hands. As it turned out, it was certainly safe, and one +ought not to detract from genius, but there can be no doubt that Fortune +played into the hands of Speug. + +Much may be allowed to a broad sense of humour, and the walk of the +Bailie was marvellous to behold; but it was rather poor business for +Speug to walk half the length of the Terrace a yard behind the Bailie in +an exact imitation of the magistrate's manner, although the school was +hugely delighted. If the Bailie had taken no notice, the score had been +on his side; but when he turned round and gave Speug a sound box on the +side of the head, he lost himself, and out of that single mistake, by a +chain of consequences, arose the scandal which almost drove the Bailie +from Muirtown. Speug could not have hoped for anything so good as that +foolish blow, and the moment that it came he saw his opportunity. Many a +stroke had he endured in his day, from his father and from the grooms, +when his mischief was beyond endurance, and from Bulldog when he caught +him red-handed, and from the boys in a fight, and there was no one of +his age so indifferent to such afflictions. Had the hand been any other +than that of Bailie MacConachie, Speug would have made derisive gestures +and invited the second stroke. As it was, he staggered across the +pavement and fell with a heavy thud upon the street, where, after one +sharp, piercing cry of pain, he lay motionless, but his moans could be +heard along the Terrace. His one hope was that, when he had seized the +occasion with such dramatic success, the Seminary would not fail to play +up and support his _rôle_, and, although they were cleverer at reality +than acting they entered heartily into their opportunity. + +"Are ye conscious, Peter?" inquired Howieson tenderly, as he stooped +over the prostrate figure. "Div ye hear us speakin' to ye? Dinna moan +like that, but tell us where ye're hurt. What are ye gatherin' round +like that for an keepin' away the air? Hold up his head, Bauldie? Some +o' ye lift his feet out o' the gutter? Run to the lade, for ony's sake, +and bring some water in yir bonnets." + +It was pretty to see Jock and Bauldie lifting the unconscious form of +their beloved friend, and carrying him carefully across the pavement, +and placing Speug in a sitting position against the railing, and then +rendering what would now be called first aid to the wounded, while that +ingenuous youth kept his eyes tightly closed and moaned occasionally, to +show that he was still living. Never in his life had Providence given +him a chance of playing so much mischief, and he was not going to be +disobedient. They opened his shirt at the breast to give him air, they +anxiously searched the side of his head for the wound, and washed away +imaginary blood with very dirty pocket-handkerchiefs. They bathed his +forehead with such profuseness that the water ran down his chest, +whereat Speug expressed himself in low but stern tones, so Nestie +advised them to stick to his head; and some of the smaller boys were +only prevented from taking off his boots by a seasonable warning from +Bauldie and a reasonable fear of consequences. The Seminary circle was +reinforced by all the message-boys within sight, and several ladies who +were coming home from the shops. Two maiden ladies, against whose +railings Peter had been propped in the hour of his distress, came +out--their hearts full of compassion and their hands of remedies. As +Jock and Bauldie did not consider it safe that Peter should be moved at +once, one maiden lady placed a cushion between his head and the +railings, while the other chafed his forehead with scent, and both +insisted that Dr. Manley should be sent for at once. This was the first +suggestion which seemed to have any effect on Peter, for it would not at +all have suited his plans that that matter-of-fact physician should +have arrived on the spot. And when a bottle of ferocious smelling-salts +was held to the patient's nose, Speug showed signs of returning +consciousness. + +"Poor dear!" said one lady; "what a mercy he wasn't killed. A blow +behind the ear is often fatal. He's coming round nicely. The colour is +returning to his cheeks. Bailie MacConachie, did you say?" as Jock +Howieson unfolded to the ladies in simple, straightforward, truthful +words the story of the murderous attack. "I can't believe that any man +would so abuse a poor helpless child." (At this moment Peter, who had +been reconnoitring the whole scene through his half-closed eyes, seized +the opportunity to wink to the mourners with such irresistible effect as +to prove once again the close connection between tears and laughter.) +"And him a magistrate," concluded the sympathetic female. "He ought to +be ashamed of himself; but if I were the laddie's friends, I would make +the Bailie hear about it on the deaf side of his head." + +[Illustration: "A BOTTLE OF FEROCIOUS SMELLING-SALTS WAS HELD TO THE +PATIENT'S NOSE."] + +Upon a sign from Speug, who was getting a little weary of inaction, he +was helped to his feet, and after one or two staggers seemed to come to +himself, and submitted with agreeable humour to the attention of his +friends, who dusted him from head to foot, under the superintendence of +the ladies and to the huge delight of the message-boys, who were now +entering into the meaning of the scene. His bonnet, which had been +thoughtfully used as a water-can, was placed wrong end foremost upon his +head, but Peter resisted the proposal to tie up his head in Bauldie's +handkerchief, partly because there was a limit even to his endurance, +and because Bauldie's handkerchief served many a purpose in the course +of the day. The maiden ladies were anxious that he should rest in their +house, but Speug indicated that he preferred to be taken home, where he +could break the news himself to his anxious father. And so an impressive +procession was formed, with so many boys in front to clear the way, and +then Speug, upheld on the one hand by Nestie, and on the other by Jock, +while Bauldie commanded the rearguard and kept the message-boys at a +distance, in order to secure due respect for the sufferer. It was with +difficulty that Speug could sustain his _rôle_ until he and his friends +got safely within the shelter of the stable-yard, when they plunged into +a straw-shed and rolled together in one heap of triumphant mischief. + +"You're a g-genius, Peter," said Nestie, "and it would be pure waste for +you to be a h-horsedealer. You must go on the st-stage. The way you came +whack on the pavement was j-just immense; and do you know, Peter, you +looked quite nice when you lay f-fainting. One lady called you a pretty +boy, and I was quite sorry you were unconscious." + +"Ye're a disgustin' liar, Nestie, besides being an impident young brat. +I heard every word, and she never said 'pretty'; but," and Speug looked +round thoughtfully, "if I knew which o' ye emptied the water down my +breast, I'd give him something to remember. I'm wet to the skin," and +Speug made a drive at Bauldie, who caught Howieson by the leg, who +pulled down Nestie by the hair of the head, and they all fought together +in high glee. Speug extricated himself and demanded news of the Bailie. +Then the three told Speug the story together in bits, one beginning +where another left off. + +"He was that astonished when ye coupit over that he couldna speak, and +Jock cried, 'The Bailie has killed Speug.'" "He was wantin' to lift ye +up, but Bauldie gets in afore him and dares him to strike ye a second +time." "It would have done you good, Peter, to see the Bailie walking +along to his house, just like an ordinary man, all the s-starch out of +him, and taking a look back to see what was h-happening." "Aye, and he +stoppit opposite the lade to get another look, and if Cosh didna empty a +cupful of water on his legs by mistake! I didna think Cosh had the +spirit." "He was ashamed to stand at the w-window, but I saw him +p-peeping out behind the curtains, just to find out whether you were +living." "If his servant lass didna follow us across the meadow, and, my +word, she's back to the Bailie with a fine story." "He's sweatin' the +now for fear he be taken up for assault, and maybe manslaughter." "What +w-would you say, Peter, just to die altogether, and we would gi-give you +an A1 funeral? If you'll just be g-good-natured and do it, I'll write +your l-life myself. It's perfectly sc-scrummageous." And then Peter fell +on Nestie, and Howieson on Bauldie, and they rejoiced together once more +in the straw. + +"You're 'avin' an 'igh 'ole time in 'ere, young gentlemen," and Mr. +McGuffie's English groom looked down on the boys; "but you're missin' +the Derby, that's what you are. Hold Pompous has come 'isself, and if he +ain't been hexplainin' to the master 'ow he 'appened to knock Speug +down. He's out o' breath now, and the master he's took up the runnin', +and--my eye and Betty Martin--ain't he talkin'! Not cussin'--no, not one +swear word has he let go. Young gentlemen, upon my Alfred David, if the +master ain't preachin' for all the world as if he was a blessed beak on +the Bench and old Pompous was a 'habit and repute.' It's as good as a +circus; you just go and 'ear 'im," and in exactly one and a quarter +seconds the boys were an unseen audience when Mr. Peter McGuffie senior +gave his opinion of the conduct of Bailie MacConachie, which he had been +doing already for some time with much effect. + +"Imitatin' ye, was he, and followin' ye along the street, walkin' as ye +walk, and so ye knocked him down in open day? Why should he not be doing +as ye did? Is yir walk protected by law, that nobody dare step the same +way on the streets of Muirtown? Answer me that, if ye please. Bailies +are pretty high and mighty in this town, they are; but I never heard yet +that the street belonged to them, and that a laddie was in danger of +death if he followed in their steps. That would be a fine pass. Aren't +boys always imitatin' somebody? Why, you stupid old fool, half the +laddies in this district try to imitate me; and, as sure as ye're +standing there, I've seen half a dozen of them, each one with a straw in +his mouth, and the bit legs of him straddled, and his bonnet on the side +of his head, and the belly of him stuck out like a pillow, just the +eemage of myself. What would ye think of me if I knockit one of them +down, ye double-distilled old fool? + +"I'm astonished at ye, for ye might be pleased to think that the +laddies, instead of copying a horsedealer, are trying to be magistrates. +Didna the Provost tell the laddies the last time he gave the prizes to +'take notice of my freend Bailie MacConachie, and try to be like him?' +And now, when one of them has taken his advice, if ye dinna turn round +on the street and half kill him, till he had to be brought home half +faintin' to his father's house! Fine-like conduct for a magistrate! Ye +bloodthirsty old ruffian! + +"Came to make inquiries, did ye? Ye made enough inquiries, by all +accounts, on the Terrace. Expression of regret, was it? We don't want +yir regret, ye hypocritical Pharisee! Present of a top? I wonder ye have +the face! Ye break a laddie's head and then offer him a top! I can buy +tops myself for my family. Confound ye! to think ye're standing there +after manglin' a poor, defenceless, harmless, motherless laddie! Ye +should be ashamed to show yir face in Muirtown; and if there was any +public spirit in this town, ye would be drummed out o' the place! + +"Look ye here, Bailie MacConachie"--and Mr. McGuffie adopted a +conciliatory tone--"the best of us will make mistakes, and ye've made a +particularly big one when ye knockit down Peter McGuffie in the face of +the public of Muirtown. Ye may bet on that and take my tip for it. Let's +settle this matter fair and sure as between man and man. Ye say ye're +sorry, and ye don't want any noise made about it. Well, now, I've lived +here man and boy for fifty years, and any man in Muirtown will tell you +I'm straight. If I give a warranty with any horse, ye needn't be afraid +to buy that horse, and I'll deal with ye on the square. + +"Ye and me are about an age of and on, and we ought to be pretty even +as fighting men. Ye have the pull of me in height, but I would say that +I am nimbler on my legs. Ye might be called a heavy weight, and I am a +middle weight, but there isn't much in that. We could meet pretty level +with the gloves. + +"Suppose, now, we just went into the straw-shed here, and stripped and +fought the matter of six rounds, easy and quiet? There would be no +mischief done, and no bad blood left, and that would be the end of the +matter. + +"Magistrate, did ye say, and elder in the Kirk. What do ye take me for? +Do ye mean to say I'd split on ye, and go round Muirtown saying that +Bailie MacConachie and me had a friendly turn with the gloves! Ye don't +do me justice. Why, there's nobody outside this stable-yard would ever +hear tell of it; and if they did, they would respect ye, and count ye an +able-bodied man, which is more than a Bailie any day. Is it a deal, +Bailie? Ye won't, won't ye, and I ought to be ashamed of myself, ought +I? And a prizefight would be a disgrace to Muirtown, would it? Muirtown +is pretty easy disgraced, then. Who's speaking about a prizefight, ye +haverin' old body? But I see how the wind blows. If the other man stands +a bare five feet, and ye can get at him before he's ready, ye're mighty +handy with yir fists. Ye cowardly old sneak? But when ye're offered the +chance of facing a man about yir own size, ye count it a disgrace. My +opinion is, ye havna the spirit of a mouse in yir body! I'm ashamed to +think ye're a magistrate of Muirtown! Dinna speak to me, MacConachie, +for I might lose control and send ye out of the stable-yard, with my +foot followin'! My advice is to be off as quick as ye can, for if some +of the grooms got hold of ye they would make an awful mess of +ye--they're not just particularly fond of magistrates, and they've a +great notion of Peter. + +"One word before we part, Bailie," and the Bailie took that word +walking, "So far as I understand, ye might be arrested for assault, and +I might prosecute ye for damages; but I will let ye off just this once +with a word of solemn advice. Ye're a Bailie of Muirtown, and ye're an +elder in the Kirk, and ye're an Italian warehouse-man; but for all that, +MacConachie, remember ye're just a man. Ye're swollen up and fozzy with +pride and vanity, and ye pace down the streets like an elephant let +loose from a menagerie; but, MacConachie, consider ye're just a man. +Ye're wily and cunning and pawky and long-headed, and ye're got yir own +way in this town for many a year; but lay it to heart, ye're just a man. +Ye've sat on the Bench and laid down the law, and when ye wagged yir +head everybody kept quiet, and when ye've scrapit yir throat they +thought it was Gospel; but, MacConachie, dinna forget it, ye're just a +man. Ye needna hurry," and Mr. McGuffie, standing in the gateway of the +stable-yard, pursued the Bailie along the street with exhortations. +"I've said all I wanted to say, and I've just one word more. Ye've +fought with the Tories and ye've fought with the Publicans, ye've fought +with this body and with that body, and ye've beaten them, and ye thought +ye were cock of the roost in Muirtown; but ye meddled with the laddies, +and they've licket ye once, Bailie, and they've licket ye twice, Bailie, +and if ye dinna cry 'Peace,' they'll lick ye again, and that'll be the +end of ye, Bailie MacConachie." + +When Mr. McGuffie returned to the stable-yard he called for his son, and +passed a careful hand over Peter's head, and then he declared that Speug +was a chip of the old block and prophesied aloud that there lay before +him a long and useful life. + + + + +THE BAILIE'S DOUBLE + +XIV + + +Muirtown is not a large city, and schoolboys of high principle and +domestic habits used to go home in the dinner-hour and take the meal +with their anxious mothers, who seized the opportunity of repairing the +rents made in their clothes since morning, and giving them good advice +on their behaviour. Thoroughly good boys, who had been tossed to and +fro, much against their will, in the tempest of morning play, were glad +to go into harbour and come back at two o'clock, not only revictualled, +but also re-fitted and re-painted for the troubled voyage of the +afternoon; and boys not so entirely good as the Dowbiggins, and other +models of propriety, still appreciated the home trip, because, although +there might be an embarrassing review of garments, and awkward questions +might be asked about a mark on the face, there was always a toothsome +dainty for a growing laddie, weary with intellectual work and the toils +of a snow-fight. As the business of a horsedealer took Mr. McGuffie +senior in various directions, and as in no case were the arrangements of +his house since Mrs. McGuffie's death of an extremely regular character, +there was no meal to which his promising son--Speug--could return with +any confidence; and therefore Peter did not make a practice of going +home at one o'clock, unless there was a special event at the stables, +such as the arrival of a new horse, in which case he invited a few +friends to an inspection, with light refreshments; or unless, having +racked his brain to the utmost for four hours, he was still in sheer +despair of mischief. With one or two other young friends of a like mind, +he was accustomed to spend the dinner-hour in what might be called +extramural studies--rowing over to the island below the bridge against +the tide and coming back gloriously with the current; assisting the +salmon-fishers to draw their nets and gather the silver spoil; in the +happy snow-time raiding the playground of a rival school when the boys +were away, and leaving insulting remarks wrought in snow; or attending +the drill of the cavalry on the South Meadow. Like other guerillas, he +carried his biltong and mealies with him, and took his meal anywhere and +by preference when on the run. Perhaps that was one reason why Speug in +after years made one of the best of South African fighters. + +When Speug was disinclined for active occupation, and desired to +improve his mind by contact with the greater world, he took a cab, or +hotel 'bus (the box-seat of every one in Muirtown was at Speug's +disposal, and his edifying conversation was much enjoyed by the driver), +and went to spend his hour at Muirtown Station, which, as everybody +knows, is at the shooting season a spectacle to be classed with Niagara +or the Jungfrau for interest, and at any time is worth seeing. It +pleased Speug, whose interests were varied and human rather than +classical and literary, to receive the English express, or even one from +Edinburgh, as it swept into the station; or to see the Aberdeen fast +train fairly off; to watch a horse safely entrained, and if necessary to +give understanding assistance; and to pass the time of day with the +guards, ticket-collectors, and carriage-cleaners, the last of whom would +allow him as a favour to see the inside of the huge mail-carriage, with +its pigeon-holes and its ingenious apparatus for delivering letters at +roadside stations while the train passed at full speed. It was an hour +of what might be called irregular study, but one never knows what he may +pick up if he only keeps his eyes open (and the eyes of Speug were as +open as a savage's), and it was on a visit to Muirtown railway station +that Peter found the opportunity for what he ever considered his most +successful achievement at the Seminary, and one on which the +recollection of his companions still fondly dwells. + +When a cab passed the _Muirtown Arms_ 'bus at the entrance to the +station, and the cabman signalled to Peter on the box-seat, and referred +to the contents with an excited thumb and great joy on his face, Peter +knew that there would be something worth seeing when the cab emptied at +the ticket-office; but he could not have imagined anything so entirely +satisfying. First, Bailie MacConachie emerged, dressed in the famous +frock-coat and grey trousers, in the high collar and magisterial stock, +but without his usual calm and dignity. His coat was only half buttoned, +his tie was slightly awry, and although his hat had been distinctly +tilted to the side on getting out of the cab, he was too much occupied +to set it right. Instead of clearing his throat as he alighted among the +waiting porters, and giving them, as it were, the chance of honouring a +live Bailie going forth upon his journey, he did not seem to wish for +any public reception, or, indeed, for any spectators, and in fact had +every sign of a man who desired to be _incognito_. + +"No, no, I've no luggage to-day," the Bailie hastily explained to an +obliging porter, and he stood between the man and the cab so as to block +all vision. "Just running down to Dundee on business and ... seeing a +friend off." + +As the embarrassed magistrate endeavoured to disperse the porters, the +driver, leaning over the roof of the cab, winked with much unction to +Peter, and indicated to that ingenuous youth that it would be worth +while for him to wait and see the mysterious friend. Speug, in fact, +understood from all this telegraphic communication that there were going +to be circumstances of a quite remarkable character, and in which +he--Peter McGuffie--was expected to be personally interested. He dragged +Jock Howieson, who was spending the hour with him, behind a pile of +luggage, and from their hiding-place they saw, to their utter amazement, +a second Bailie come slowly and gingerly, but yet withal triumphantly, +out of the cab. The same height as the great man himself, and built +after the same pattern; a perfect reproduction also in dress, except +that the trousers were baggier, and the coat shabbier, and the collar +frayed at the edges, and the hat had the appearance of having been used +either as a seat or as a pillow, or perhaps for both purposes, at +different times; and the air of this second, but by no means ghostly, +Bailie was like that of the first, as confident, as mighty, as knowing, +with the addition of a certain joviality of expression and benignant +humanity, and a certain indifference to all the trials and difficulties +of life which is characteristic of a man who has been "tasting," not +wisely, but too well. + +"Lean on me, James," said the Bailie, nervously, as the figure came with +a heavy lurch on the pavement. "The faintness may pass off. Take care +of your feet," and the Bailie shouldered his double to the ticket-office +and propped it against the wall while he went to take the tickets. + +It might have been ill, and the remarkable walk might have been due to +weakness of the heart, for you never can tell, and one ought to be +charitable; but there was no sign of an invalid about this new Bailie, +nor was he at all too exhausted for genial conversation. He explained +during the other Bailie's brief absence, to all who were willing to +listen, in a style that was rather suggestive than exhaustive, that he +had been paying a visit to Muirtown for the good of his health, and that +he felt better--in fact, very much better; that where he lived the +supply of liquid refreshment was limited, and that in consequence he had +suffered through weakness of the heart; that he had intended to stay +longer in a place where there was every comfort of life, and that +nothing would have induced him to leave but the immoral conduct of his +twin brother; that Bailie MacConachie, he was sorry to say, being his +brother, was fearfully given to drink, and that he, James MacConachie, +could no longer stay with him; that he, his brother, was not fit to be a +Bailie, and that he was a hypocrite whose judgment would not tarry, and +indeed, according to his language, was already pronounced. He also gave +a certificate of character to the refreshment to be obtained at the +_Black Bull_, Muirtown, and cheerfully invited any person who had a +friendly heart to go with him there and then to drink the Queen's +health. On seeing his brother returning, the figure concluded his +address--which had been mightily enjoyed by three porters, a couple of +Highland drovers, a Perth loafer, who had once passed through the +police-court when the Bailie was on the Bench, and an elderly lady, who +was anxious that a doctor should be sent for--by explaining once more +that his brother was a gentleman beside whom the Pharisees were +straightforward and honourable members of society. + +As the procession was again re-formed, and the two Bailies left the +ticket-office together, one of them waving a regretful farewell to his +sympathetic congregation, the boys executed a war-dance of triumph; for +the contrast between the twin brethren afforded just that kind of comedy +which appeals to a boy's heart, and because they had an instinct that +the incident would be of service in the war between the Bailie and the +Seminary, which had gone on for a year and showed no signs of closing. + +"The Bailie keeps him oot o' sight somewhere in the country, I'll +warrant," said Speug to Jock, in great spirits, "and there's naebody in +Muirtown kens he's got a twin brother. Dod, Jock, he's juist the very +eemage of him, and he's got a suit o' his auld clothes on. It would +take Dr. Manley himself or the Chief Constable to tell the one from the +ither. Jock Howieson, if you and me could get the use o' that lad, we +would have a michty time. I would give my four rabbits and ... and my +skye terrier pup just for an hour of him." And although they had no hope +that circumstances would deal so kindly with them, yet they went on to +the platform to see the last of the two Bailies. + +Under the influence of the senior Bailie's chastening conversation, who +at first reminded his brother of a drunkard's end, which had no effect, +and then threatened to cut off his modest weekly allowance, which had an +immediate effect, the figure consented to be taken along the platform, +and might even have been safely deposited in its carriage, had not the +word "Refreshment-room," printed in absurdly large type, attracted his +attention. + +"Div ye see that, man?" said the figure, pointing jubilantly to the +board. "I declare it juist a Providence. It's no that I'm thirsty, +Bailie, and I canna bear drinkin'; that's never been a fault o' mine, +though I doubt ye're fallin' into the habit yirsel'. No, I'm no thirsty, +but I've a sinkin' at the heart. Ye'll come in, and we'll taste together +afore we part. I forgive ye onything ye said. I bear no grudge, and I'll +let ye pay, Bailie." And the figure had the Bailie almost at the door of +the refreshment-room before he could make a stand. + +"Mair than I can carry already, Bailie, did ye say? Gude forgie ye. I +wonder ye're not black ashamed to say sic a word, and me draggin' ye +along the platform and holdin' ye up, juist to cover yir character. +Well, well, I canna fecht wi' ye, for I'm no the man I was once. The +fact is, I havna strength to go another step, and if ye'll no let me get +a cordial, I'll juist have to sit down on the platform." And the +horrified Bailie had to accept the assistance of a porter to support his +exhausted brother and to guide him to his carriage. + +From an adjacent third class compartment, where Speug and Jock promptly +secreted themselves, they heard the senior Bailie's exhortation to his +frail kinsman--that he must on no account come out of the carriage; that +he must hold his tongue and not talk nonsense to his fellow travellers; +that he must not mention his--the Bailie's--name, nor claim to be +connected with him; and that he must not come back to Muirtown again +until the Bailie sent for him; and all this he must lay to heart as he +valued his weekly allowance. The Bailie also expressed his deep regret, +which, indeed, seemed to be very sincere, that he had to leave by the +Dundee train before the departure of the slow Fife train by which his +double travelled. And when this fact emerged--that the other Bailie was +to be left even for five minutes at their disposal--Speug threw +Howieson's bonnet to the end of the compartment, with his own following +in a rapture of joy. + +"Dinna be afraid," said the figure in the compartment to the Bailie on +the platform, who was torn between his profitable business engagement at +Dundee and the fear of leaving his brother to his own devices. "After +the way ye've treated me and put me to shame afore the platform, I +wouldna stay another day in Muirtown for a thousand pounds. I am no +angry, Bailie," the figure continued with mournful dignity, "for that's +no my speerit, but I'm hurt at yir conduct. Weel, if ye maun go, ye +maun, and I heard the Dundee engine whistlin'; but for ony sake dinna be +tastin' in Dundee and disgracin' the family. Drink is an awfu' failin', +but ye canna say I havna warned ye." And as the Bailie hurried to catch +the Dundee train the figure shook its head mournfully, with the air of +one who hopes for the best, but who has had too good reason to expect +the worst. + +"Bailie," said Speug, presenting himself with a fine mixture of haste +and importance before the figure which was still moralising to itself on +the evils of drink, "div ye no mind that the Rector o' the Seminary is +expectin' ye to address the laddies this afternoon, and they'll be +waitin' this very meenut in the Latin class-room?" and Speug made signs +that he should come at once, and offered to secure a cab. The figure +could only shake its head and explain that on account of the +disgraceful conduct of a relative, who had given way to drink, it had no +heart for public appearances; but the idea of a return to the enjoyment +of Muirtown was evidently filtering in. + +"Are ye no Bailie MacConachie?" demanded Speug. "A porter threipit +(insisted) that he had seen the Bailie in the Dundee train, but naebody +can mistake Bailie MacConachie. The school will be terrible pleased to +see ye, Bailie." + +"Who said I wasna Bailie MacConachie?" and the figure was plainly +roused. "Him in the Dundee train? Laddies, there's a black sheep in +every family, and that man is a poor, helpless brother o' mine that's +taken to bad habits, and I've juist to support him and keep him oot o' +sicht. It's an awfu' trial," and the figure wept, but immediately +brisked itself up again. "Of course I'm Bailie MacConachie. Laddies, +was't at the _Black Bull_ they're expectin' me?" + +"The very place, Bailie; but ye maun say juist a word at the Seminary in +passin'," and Speug signalled to a ticket-collector who had just come +upon the scene. + +"Would ye mind helpin' Bailie MacConachie oot o' the carriage, for he's +forgotten an engagement at the Seminary, and he's juist a wee thingie +faint with the heat?" + +"It's no the heat, man," as the amazed collector helped the magistrate +on to the platform, "it's family trouble. Are ye connected with the +_Black Bull_? Well, at any rate, ye seem a well-behaved young man, and +these are twa fine laddies." And outside the station, surrounded by a +sympathising circle of drivers, who were entering into the spirit of +Speug's campaign, this astonishing Bailie warned every one to beware of +strong drink, and urged them to take the pledge without delay. He also +inquired anxiously whether there was a cab there from the _Black Bull_ +and explained that the Rector of the Seminary, with his laddies, was +waiting for him in that place of hospitality. He added that he had been +on his way to the General Assembly of the Kirk, where he sat as a ruling +elder, and he warmly denounced the spread of false doctrine. But at last +they got him into the cab, where, after a pathetic appeal to Speug and +his companion to learn the Catechism and sing the Psalms of David, he +fell fast asleep. + +By a happy stroke of strategy, Howieson engaged the attention of the +sergeant in the back-yard, who considered that Jock was playing truant +and was anxious to arrest him, while the cabman, fortunately an +able-bodied fellow, with Speug's assistance induced the Bailie to leave +the cab and convoyed him upstairs and to the door of the Rector's +class-room. At this point the great man fell into low spirits, and +bemoaned the failure of a strenuous life, in which he had vainly fought +the immorality of Muirtown, and declared, unless he obtained an +immediate tonic, he would succumb to a broken heart. He also charged +Speug with treachery in having brought him to the County Gaol instead of +to the _Black Bull_. It was painfully explained him that he was now in +the Seminary, and within that door an anxious school was waiting for +him--Bailie MacConachie--and his address. + +"Who said I wasna Bailie MacConachie, and that I was a drunken body? +I'll teach them to smuggle me oot o' Muirtown as if I was a waufie +(disreputable character). He thinks I'm at Leuchars, but I'm here" (with +much triumph), "and I'm Bailie MacConachie" (with much dignity). And the +Bailie was evidently full awake. + +"Losh keeps, laddies, what am I saying? Family troubles shakes the mind. +Take the pledge when ye're young, laddie, and ye'll no regret it when +ye're old. I've been an abstainer since the age of ten. Noo, laddie" +(with much cunning), "If I am to address the school, what think ye would +be a fine subject, apairt from the Catechism? for it's a responsibility, +especially me being a Bailie. If ye can mind onything, laddie, I'll give +ye sixpence next time we meet." + +Although Speug was reticent in the class, for reasons that commended +themselves to his practical judgment, he had a rich wealth of speech +upon occasion, and he fairly drilled into the head of Bailie +MacConachie's double that it had been a very foolish thing for him--the +Bailie--to quarrel with the Seminary about their playground upon the +Meadow, and an act of an unchristian bitterness to strike him--the +Speug--upon the head and nearly injure him for life, but that he--the +Bailie--was sorry for all his bad conduct, and that he would never do +the like again as long as he was Bailie of Muirtown; and Speug +concluded, while the cabman stood open-mouthed with admiration, "Ye +micht juist say that ye have an awfu' respect for me--Speug--ye know." + +"I'll be sure to do that," said the delighted Bailie, "for it's a fact. +Ye're a fine laddie and have a fearsome power o' the gab (mouth); I +expect to see ye in the pulpit yet; but keeps a' it's time I was at the +_Black Bull_, so ye micht juist slip in and tell the Rector I'm at the +door--Bailie MacConachie of Muirtown." + +Had it been the class-room of Bulldog, master of mathematics, +arithmetic, and writing, and, it might also be added, master of +discipline, Speug would as soon have ventured into his presence on such +an errand as into the lion's den of the travelling menagerie which had +recently visited Muirtown, and at which he had spent many an unlicensed +hour. But the Rector was that dear delight of boys, a short-sighted, +absent-minded, unsuspicious scholar, who lived in a world of his own +with Homer and Horace, and could only be fairly roused (to sorrow) by a +false quantity or (to joy) by a happy translation. + +Muirtown Seminary had an inexhaustible confidence in Speug's genius for +mischief and effrontery of manner, but the Rector's class sat breathless +when Peter came in with an unshaken countenance, and politely intimated +to the Rector that a magistrate of Muirtown had come and desired to +speak to the school. Before the Rector could fairly withdraw himself +from a cunning phrase of Horace's, or the school had energy to cheer, +the wonderful Bailie was launched into the room with almost too much +vigour by the cabman, who remained in the shadow and whispered a last +direction to "hold up your head and keep to the right." They had +forgotten--Speug's only oversight--to take off the Bailie's hat, which +was set jauntily on the side of his head, and the course which he took +through the room was devious, and mainly regulated by the furniture, +while his expression was a fine blend of affable dignity and genial good +humour. "Gosh!" exclaimed Bauldie, and he liberated the feeling of the +class, who understood that their enemy had been delivered into their +hands, and that Peter McGuffie--their own Speug--had been the means +thereof. Yet could it be the case? Yes! It was the very countenance, +line by line, and the very clothes, piece by piece, though looking a +trifle shabby, of the premier Bailie of Muirtown, and it was evident +that he had been "tasting," and that very freely. + +"I am--er--proud to bid you welcome, Mr. Bailie," said the Rector, +bowing with old-fashioned courtesy, and not having the faintest idea +what like was the figure before him. "We are always delighted to receive +a visit from any of the magistrates of the city, who are to our humble +school" (and here the Rector was very gracious) "what Maecenas was to +Horace, whose _curiosa felicitas_ we are now studying. Is it your +pleasure, Mr. Bailie, to examine the school?" + +During this stately reception the Bailie came to rest upon a desk, and +regarded the Rector's flowing gown with unconcealed admiration, which he +indicated to the school by frank gestures. + +"It would be a great satisfaction to hear the laddies answer 'The Chief +End of Man,' and to say juist a word to them aboot good conduct; but you +and me has an engagement, and ye ken where we're expected. I juist +looked in to say----" And here the worthy man's thoughts began to +wander, and he made an indistinct allusion to the _Black Bull_, so that +Speug had to prompt him severely from behind. "Aye, aye! we're all poor, +frail creatures, and I'm the last man to hurt the feelings of the +Seminary. Seminary laddie mysel', prize medal Greek. Bygones be +bygones!... No man in Muirtown I respect more than ... Speug an +honourable tradesman" (breaking away on his own account with much +spirit), "a faithful husband, and an affectionate father. What? All a +mistake from beginning to end. Family trouble did it--conduct of a +relative," and the Bailie wept. Bailies and other municipal dignitaries +were a species of human beings so strange and incalculable to the +Rector, that he was hardly amazed at anything that they might say; and +having some vague idea that there had been a quarrel between the +Seminary and some Bailie or other, about something or other, some time +or other, he concluded that this was an official intimation that the +quarrel was over, and that it was in style and allusion according to the +habits of municipal circles. + +"It is," he responded, bowing again, "my grateful duty, as Rector of the +Seminary, to thank you for your presence here to-day--the Mercury of the +gods, if I may say so--and for your courteous intimation that +the--er--controversy to which you--er--have delicately alluded is +healed. Any dispute between the Council and the Seminary could only have +a favourable issue. _Amantium irae amoris integratio_ has had another +illustration, Mr. Bailie; but it would please us that you should hear +the class translate the Ode we have in hand, which happens to be '_Ad +Sodales_.'" And a boy began to translate "_Nunc est bibendum_." + +"Time to drink, did ye say?" and the Bailie, who had been taking a brief +nap, was immediately conscious. "Man, ye never said a truer word. Work +hard at yir lessons, laddies, and for ony sake dinna forget the +Catechism. Yir maister has an engagement wi' me, and he'll no be back +for an hour. Come awa,' man" (in a loud whisper to the amazed Rector), +"it's time we were off." And the Bailie, making a hurried rush for the +door, found himself in the arms of the school sergeant, who had caught +the sound of the uproar in the Rector's class-room, and suspected +trouble. + +"Preserve us a', body and soul!" cried the Crimean veteran, as he +brought the Bailie to an equilibrium. "Could onybody have expected +this?" And then, with much presence of mind, he closed the door of the +Latin class-room and conducted the Bailie down-stairs to his cab, while +the magistrate remonstrated that the Rector was coming with him, and +that both were going to discuss the higher education of youth at the +_Black Bull_. + +"Na, na, Bailie," said the sergeant. "It's no to the _Black Bull_, or +ony other bull, ye're to go this afternoon, but back to yir ain hoose. +If ye maun taste, would it no have been more respectable to keep +indoors, instead of making an exhibeetion of yourself afore the +Seminary? It's no becomin' in a magistrate, and it's michty bad for the +laddies." + +It was the sergeant who delivered the astonishing figure at the +blameless home of Bailie MacConachie, although it is right to say that +this visit was not at all in the plan, and called forth a vigorous +protest from the Bailie's substitute. And to the day of his death, the +real and proper Bailie spent odd moments of his spare time in explaining +to an incredulous public that he had never "tasted" in his life, and +that on the day in question he had been transacting private business in +Dundee. + + + + +THE TRIUMPH OF THE SEMINARY + +XV + + +As the East is distant from the West, so far was Muirtown Seminary +removed in its manners and customs from an English public school; but at +one point they met on common ground, and that was the "tuck-shop." It +does not matter that an English house master be careful to provide an +ample supply of wholesome food for his boys, and even add, on occasion, +toothsome dainties, such as jam at Sunday tea, and sausages for a +Saturday supper, they will agree unanimously, and declare aloud, that +they can hardly recall such a thing as breakfast, so ghostly has it +grown, and that they would be ashamed to offer their dinner to the +beasts which perish. They will write such descriptions home, and hold +such conferences with friends spending the holidays with them, and they +will all vie with one another in applying such weird and fearsome +adjectives to the butter, milk, coffee, meat, potatoes, and +pudding--but at the mention of pudding they will simply look at one +another and be silent, despairing of the English language--that their +horrified parents will take counsel together by the hour whether their +poor boy ought not to be taken from school and surrounded by home +comforts. When the emaciated invalid hears of this drastic measure, he +protests strongly, and insists that it would ruin him for life; for, to +do the ruffians justice, a boy may be half-starved and swished every +second day, and bullied between times, till his life is hardy worth +living, he will still stand by his school, and prefer it as a place of +residence to his home. Neither ample meals, nor the pretty bedroom with +white curtains, nor the long lie in the morning, nor a party in the +evening, nor all his mother's petting, will make up to this savage for +the racket of the dormitories, and the fight at the bathroom, and the +babel at the dinner-table, and the recreations which enliven "prep," and +the excitement of a house match, and the hazardous delights of football, +and the tricks on a new boy, and the buttered eggs--a dozen at least +between two at a study supper. It only remains therefore that his father +should write a pathetic letter to the _Standard_, and that other parents +should join in, for a fortnight, explaining to the English public that +the manhood of the country is being destroyed in its early years, and +the boys at school will read the letters aloud with much unction, and +declare that "Pater has warmed up old Skinny properly," while their +mother sends them generous remittances that they may obtain nourishing +food to supplement their starvation rations. This money will be spent +rapidly, but also shrewdly, at the "tuck-shop," where some old servant +of the school is making a small fortune in providing for the boys such +meat as their souls love, and for a fortnight Tom and his friends, for +he is not a fellow to see his chums die before his eyes, will live on +the fat of the land, which, upon the whole, means cocoa, sardines, +sausages, and eggs. + +Seminary boys had their meals at home, and were very soundly fed with +porridge and milk in the morning, followed by tea and ham, if their +conduct had been passably decent. Scots broth and meat for dinner, with +an occasional pudding, and a tea in the evening which began with +something solid and ended with jam, made fair rations, and, although +such things may very likely be done now, when we are all screaming about +our rights, no boy of the middle Victorian period wrote to the _Muirtown +Advertiser_ complaining of the home scale of diet. Yet, being boys, +neither could they be satisfied with the ordinary and civilised means of +living, but required certain extra delicacies to help them through the +day. It was not often that a Seminary lad had a shilling in his pocket, +and once only had gold been seen--when Dr. Manley paid Speug a medical +fee for his advice in Bulldog's sickness--but there were few in the +Seminary who were not able to rattle some pennies together, and, in the +end, every penny found its way to the till of that comprehensive +merchant and remarkable woman, Mrs. McWhae. Her shop and the other old +houses beside it have been pulled down long ago, to make room for a +handsome block of buildings, and I think her exact site is occupied by +the plate-glass windows and gorgeous display of the "Breadalbane +Emporium," where you can buy everything from a frying pan to a +drawing-room suite, but where you cannot get a certain delicacy called +"gundy," which Mrs. McWhae alone could make as it ought to be made, and +at the remembrance thereof the very teeth begin to water. Mrs. McWhae +did not sell books nor clothes, nor any other effeminate luxury of life, +but she kept in stock everything that was really necessary to the life +of a well-living and high-minded boy. There he could obtain marbles from +the common clay, six for a halfpenny, on to the finer "streakies," six +for a penny, till you came to large marbles with a red and blue pattern +on a white ground, which were a halfpenny each, and climbed to +"glassies" at a penny each; and there was one glass leviathian which +contained all colours within its sphere, and which was kept only to be +handled and admired. Tops were there, too, from polished little +beauties with shining steel tips, which were intended only for +amusement, and were spun with fine white cord, to unadorned, massive, +vicious-looking warriors with sharpened projecting points, which were +intended for the battlefield, and were spun with rough, strong twine, +and which, dexterously used, would split another top from head to foot +as when you slice butter with a knife. Her stock of kites in the season +was something to see, and although she did not venture upon +cricket-bats, which were sold by the hair-dresser, nor cricket-balls, +she had every other kind of ball--solid gutta-percha balls, for hasty +games in the "breaks," white skin-covered rounder balls, and hollow +india-rubber balls, which you could fill with water at the lade, and +then use with much success as a squirt. Girls, we noticed, employed this +"softie" in silly games of their own, trying whether they could make it +rebound a hundred times from the ground, but we had no doubt about its +proper use in the purposes of Creation. And Mrs. McWhae--peace to her +ashes!--provided all things in meat and drink which a boy could desire; +unless, of course, on some great occasion he wished to revel +imperially--then he went to Fenwick's rock-shop, where generations have +turned their eager feet, and beyond which nothing is left to desire. +Fenwick's, however, was rather for our fathers than for ourselves, and +we were almost content with Mrs. McWhae, where you could get +ginger-beer of her own making at a penny a bottle, better than that +which they sold at the _Muirtown Arms_ at sixpence; and treacle-beer +also at a penny, but in this case the bottle was double the size and was +enough for two fellows; and halfpenny rolls, if you were fiercely hungry +and could not get home to dinner, so tough that only a boy's teeth could +tear them to pieces; and tarts, so full that it required long skill to +secure every drop of the jam, and your fingers were well worth licking +afterwards; and peppermint balls of black and white, one of which would +keep your mouth sweet for an hour of Latin--that is, if you only sucked +gently and didn't crunch. But the glory of the establishment was the +"gundy." There was a room behind the shop where Mrs. McWhae, who was a +widow, elderly and not prepossessing, lived and slept, and dressed +herself, and cooked her food, and, perhaps, on rare occasions, washed, +and there she prepared her tempting meats and drinks for the Seminary. +We lived in a pre-scientific age, and did not go curiously into the +origin of things, being content to take the Creation as it stood, and to +use the gifts of the gods in their finished form. But I believe that +"gundy" was made of the coarsest and cheapest sugar, which our hostess +boiled to a certain point, and then with her own fair hands, which it +was said she wetted with her lips, drew out and out, till at last, by +the constant drawing, it came to a light brown colour; after which she +cut the finished product into sticks of a foot long, and wrapped it up +in evil-looking brown paper, twisting the two ends. And, wonders of +wonders! all within that paper, and the paper itself, you could have for +one halfpenny! Good! There is no word for it, as the preachers say, +"humanly speaking." The flavour thereof so rich, so satisfying, so +stimulating, and the amount thereof so full and so tenacious. Why, that +"gundy" would so cling to your teeth and hide itself about your mouth, +and spread itself out, that he was a clever fellow who had drained its +last resources within an hour. Mrs. McWhae was a widow of a military +gentleman, who, it was understood, had performed prodigies of valour in +the Black Watch, and she was a woman of masculine vigour, who only dealt +upon a cash basis, and in any case of dispute was able to use her hands +effectively. Like most women she was open to blandishments, and Nestie +Molyneux, with his English tongue and pretty ways, could get round the +old lady, and she had profound though inexpressed respect for Speug, +whom she regarded as a straightforward fighter, and the two friends +would sometimes be allowed the highest privilege in her power, to see +her make a brew of "gundy." And it is from hints dropped by those two +favoured customers that the above theory of the making of this +delectable sweet has been formed. + +It was possible, with a proper celerity, to visit Mrs. McWhae's during +the "breaks," and to spend three minutes in those happy precincts and +not be absolutely late for the next class; and during the dinner-hour +her shop was crowded, and the steps outside and the very pavement were +blocked by the Seminary, waiting for their "gundy" and ginger-beer. +Little boys who had been fortunate enough to get their provisions early, +and were coming out to enjoy the "gundy" in some secret place, hid their +treasure within their waistcoats, lest a bigger fellow should supply +himself without the trouble of waiting his turn, and defer payment to +the end of the year. And one of the lords of the school would on +occasion clear out a dozen of the small fry, in order that he might +select his refreshments comfortably. It was indeed the Seminary Club, +with its bow-window like other clubs, and the steps on which the members +could stand, and from the steps you commanded three streets, so that +there were many things to see, and in snowball time many things to do. +McWhae's had only one inconvenience, and that was that the line of +communication could be cut off by raiding parties from the "Pennies" and +other rival schools. When the snow was deep on the ground, and the enemy +was strong on the field, it was necessary to bring down supplies under +charge of a convoy, and if anything could have added to the flavour of +the "gundy," it was that you had fought your way up Breadalbane Street +to get it, and your way back to enjoy it, that you had lost your bonnet +in a scrimmage, and that the remains of a snow ball were trickling down +your back. Precious then was the dainty sweet as the water which the +mighty men brought to David from the well of Bethlehem. + +"My word!" cried Speug, who was winding up the dinner-hour with Nestie +Molyneux, on the upper step of the club-house, "if there isn't the +'Bumbees' driving in a four-in-hand!" and the brake of the _Muirtown +Arms_ passed, with a dozen smart and well-set-up lads rejoicing openly, +and, wheeling round by the corner of the Cathedral, disappeared up the +road which ran to Drumtochty. "And where think ye have their royal +highnesses been?" + +If the name of a school be St. Columba's, and the boys call themselves +Columbians, it is very profane to an absolutely respectable Scots saint, +and very rude to a number of well-behaved lads, to call them "Bumbees"; +but Speug was neither reverent nor polite, and the Seminary, although +mainly occupied with local quarrels, yet harboured a distant grudge +against the new public school at St. Columba's, which had been recently +started in a romantic part of Perthshire. Its founders were a number of +excellent and perhaps slightly superior persons, who were justly aghast +at the somewhat rough life and unfinished scholarship of the Scots +grammar schools, and who did not desire that Scots lads of the better +class should be sent of necessity to the English public schools. Their +idea was to establish a public school after the English method in +Scotland, and so St. Columba's kept terms, and had dormitories, and a +chapel, and playing-fields, and did everything on a smaller scale which +was done at Rugby and Harrow. The masters of St. Columba's would have +nothing to do with such modest men as the staff of the Seminary. The +Columbians occasionally came down to Muirtown and sniffed through the +town. Two or three boys had been taken from the Seminary, because it was +vulgar, and sent to St. Columba's, in order to get into genteel society. +And those things had gradually filtered into the mind of the Seminary, +which was certainly a rough school, but at the same time very proud and +patriotic, and there was a latent desire in the mind of the Seminary +that the Columbians should come down in snow-time and show their +contempt for the Muirtown grammar school, when that school would explain +to the Columbians what it thought of them and all their works. As this +pleasure was denied the Seminary, and the sight of the brake was too +much for Speug's uncultured nature, he forgot himself, and yelled +opprobrious names, in which the word "Bumbee" was distinct and +prominent. + +"Your m-manners are very b-bad, Speug, and I am a-ashamed of you. +D-don't you know that the 'B-bumbees' have been p-playing in England and +w-won their match? Twenty-two runs and s-seven wickets to fall. G-good +s-sport, my Speug; read it in the newspaper." + +"It wasna bad. I didna think the 'Bumbees' had as muckle spunk in them; +seven wickets, did ye say, against the English? If I had kenned that, +Nestie, ye little scoundrel, I would have given them a cheer. Seven +wickets--they did the job properly." And Speug took his "gundy" with +relish. + +"Speug!"--and Nestie spoke with much impressiveness--"I have an idea. +Why shouldn't the Seminary challenge the 'Bumbees' to a match next +s-summer? We could p-practice hard all this summer, and begin s-soon +next year and t-try them in July." + +"It would be juist michty," said Speug, who was cheered at the thought +of any battle, and he regarded Nestie with admiration, and then his face +fell and he declared it of no use. + +"They wouldna come, dash them for their cheek! and if they came they'd +lick us clean. They have a professional and they play from morning till +night. We're light-weights, Nestie. If they went in first, we'd never +get them oot; and if we went in, they'd have us oot in half an 'oor." + +"For shame, Speug, to run down the Seminary as if you were a 'Penny'! +Didn't the county professional say that Robertson was the b-best young +player he'd seen for t-ten years? And Bauldie hits a good b-ball, and no +b-bowler can get you out, Speug, and there are other chaps just want +p-practice. We might be b-beaten, but we'd make a stiff fight for the +old Seminary." + +"Ye can bowl, Nestie," said Speug generously, as they went back to +school at the trot; "ye're the trickiest overhand I ever saw; and Jock +Howieson is a fearsome quick and straicht bowler; and for a +wicket-keeper Dunc Robertson is no easy to beat. Gosh!" exclaimed Speug, +as they wheeled into the back-yard, "we'll try it." + +The Seminary were slow to move, but once they took fire they burned +gloriously; and when Dunc Robertson and Nestie Molyneux, who had been +sent up to St. Columba's as the most presentable deputation, returned +and informed the school assembled round the Russian guns that the +"Bumbees" would send down their second eleven, since the first was too +old for the Seminary, and play a single innings match on a Saturday +afternoon in the end of July, next year, the Seminary lifted up their +voice in joyful anticipation. + +It did not matter that the "Bumbees" had only consented in terms of +condescension by way of encouraging local sport, as they had tried to +organise a Drumtochty eleven, or that it was quite understood that the +result would be a hopeless defeat for the Seminary. They were coming, +and the Seminary had a year to make ready; and if they were beaten in +cricket, well, it couldn't be helped, but it was the first time +Bulldog's boys had been beaten in anything, and they would know the +reason why. + +Special practice began that evening and continued that evening, and +every other evening except Sundays as long as light lasted and on till +the middle of October, when football could no longer be delayed. +Practice began again a month before the proper season and continued on +the same lines till the great day in July. The spirit of the Seminary +was fairly up, and from the Rector who began freely to refer to the +Olympian games, to the little chaps who had just come from a dame's +school and were proud to field balls at bowling practice, the whole +school was swept into the excitement of the coming event, and it is said +that Bulldog stumped over every evening after dinner to watch the play +and was the last to leave. + +"B-Bully's fairly on the job, Speug, and he's j-just itching to have a +bat himself. Say, Speug, if we get badly licked, he'll be ill again; but +if we p-pull it off, I bet he'll give a rippin' old supper." + +News spread through the town that the Seminary was to fight the +"Bumbees" for the glory of the Fair City, and enthusiasm began to kindle +in all directions. Our cricket club had played upon the Meadow as best +it could; but now the Council of the city set apart a piece of ground, +and six of the leading dignitaries paid to have it cut and rolled, so +that there might be a good pitch for playing and something worth seeing +on the day of battle. There were half a dozen good players in Muirtown +in those days, two of whom were in the All Scotland eleven, and they +used to come along in spare evenings and coach the boys, while the +county professional now and again dropped in, just to see whether he +could bowl Speug out, and after half an hour's hopeless attack upon that +imperturbable youth, the professional declared the Seminary had a +chance. But the word was passed round that there should be no boasting, +and that Muirtown must be prepared for a hopeless and honourable defeat. +Mr. McGuffie senior was the only man on the morning of the match who was +prepared to bet on even terms, and his offers were refused by the +citizens, first because betting was sinful, and, second, it was +possible, though not likely, they might lose. + +The Columbians came down as usual in a brake, with only two horses this +time, and made a pretty show when they were dressed in their white +flannels and school colours, and every one admitted that they were a +good-looking and well-set-up eleven; they brought half a dozen other +fellows with them, to help to cheer their victory and to keep their +score, and a master to be umpire. The Seminary eleven were in all +colours and such dress as commended itself to their taste. Robertson and +Molyneux and one or two others in full flannels, but Speug in a grey +shirt and a pair of tight tweed trousers of preposterous pattern, which +were greatly admired by his father's grooms--and, for that matter, by +the whole school; and although Jock Howieson had been persuaded into +flannel bags, as we called them then, he stuck to a red shirt of +outrageous appearance, which was enough to frighten any bowler. Jack +Moncrieffe, the Muirtown cricket crack and bowler of the All Scotland, +was umpire for the Seminary, and the very sight of him taught the first +lesson of respect to the "Bumbees"; and when they learned that Jim +Fleming, the other Muirtown crack, had been coaching the Seminary all +the summer, they began to feel that it might be a real match, not merely +a few lessons in the manly game of cricket given to encourage a common +school, don't you know. + +There was a representative turn-out of Muirtown men, together with a +goodly sprinkling of Muirtown mothers and sisters. Bulldog took up his +position early, just in front of the tent, and never moved till the +match was over; nor did he speak, save once; but the Seminary knew that +he was thinking plenty, and that the master of mathematics had his eye +upon them. Some distance off, the Count--that faithful friend of his +Seminary "dogs"--promenaded up and down a beat of some dozen yards, and +spent the time in one long excitement, cheering with weird foreign +accent when a good hit was made, swearing in French when anything went +wrong, bewailing almost unto tears the loss of a Seminary wicket, and +hurrying to shake hands with every one of his eleven, whether he had +done well or ill, when he came in from the wicket. Mr. McGuffie moved +through the crowd from time to time, and finally succeeded in making a +bet on the most advantageous terms with that eminent dignitary, the Earl +of Kilspindie's coachman, who was so contemptuous of the Seminary from +the Castle point of view that he took the odds of five to one in +sovereigns that they would be beaten. And on the outskirts of the crowd, +half ashamed to be there and doubtful of his reception, hovered Bailie +MacConachie. + +The Seminary won the toss, and by the advice of Jim Fleming sent the +Columbians in, and there was no Seminary lad nor any Muirtown man, for +the Frenchman did not count--who denied that the strangers played a +good, clean game--pretty form, and brave scoring; and on their part the +Columbians were not slow to acknowledge that the Seminary knew how to +field, wherever they had learned it. No ball sliding off the bat, could +pass Dunc Robertson, and as for byes they were impossible with Speug as +long-stop, for those were the days when there were long-stops. Cosh had +his faults, and they were not few, but the Seminary thought more of him +after a miraculous catch which he made at long-off; and Bauldie, at +square-leg, might not be able to prevent a two occasionally, but he +refused to allow fours. Jock Howieson was a graceless bowler and an +offence to the eye, but his balls were always in the line of the middle +stump, and their rate that of an express train; and Nestie not only had +a pretty style, but a way of insinuating himself among the wickets which +four Columbians had not the power to refuse. There was a bit of work at +long-field, which even the Columbians could not help cheering, though it +lost them a wicket, and the way in which a ball was sent up from +cover-point to Dunc Robertson, and so took another wicket, wrung a word +of private praise from the Columbian umpire. Still, the Seminary was +fighting against heavy odds, an uphill, hopeless battle, and when the +visitors went out with a hundred and one to their score, Mr. McGuffie +senior was doubtful of his sovereign; and only the Count prophesied +triumph, going round and shaking hands individually with every one of +his "dogs," and magnifying their doings unto the sky. Bailie +MacConachie, by this time was lost in the crowd, working his way +gradually to the front, and looking as if he would have liked to cheer, +but thinking it better not to call attention to his presence. Then the +Seminary went in, and there is no question but that they had hard times +at the hands of the Columbians, who were well trained and played all +together. Robertson, who was the hope of the Seminary, went out for +twenty, and Bauldie for ten; Nestie played carefully, but only managed +twelve, and the other fellows were too easily bowled or caught out, each +adding something, but none doing much, till at last the score stood at +sixty-nine; with the last two of the Seminary in. Things were looking +very black, and even the Count was dashed, while Bulldog's face +suggested that next Monday the whole school would be thrashed, and that +a special treat would be reserved for the eleven. Mr. McGuffie, however, +with a sportsman's instinct, seized the opportunity to make another bet +with his lordship's coachman, and increased the odds from five to ten, +and the dignitary declared it was simply robbing McGuffie of his money. + +"We'll see aboot that, my man, when the horses pass the line. I've seen +many a race changed before the finish," and Mr. McGuffie took his +position in the front row to see the end. + +Thirty-three runs to make to win the match, and only one wicket to fall, +and the Columbians discounted their victory in a gentlemanly fashion, +while Jim Fleming looked very grave. "Give them no chances," he said to +Howieson, as that stolid youth went in to join Speug, who had been at +the wicket for some time, but had only scored ten. Any over might close +the match, and perhaps the Columbians' bowlers grew careless, for three +overs passed and the two friends of many a scrimmage were still in, and +neither of them had shown any intention of going out. Quite the +contrary, for Speug had broken into fours, and Howieson, who played with +the gracefulness of a cow, would allow no ball to interfere with his +wickets, and had run up a couple of twos on his own account. + +"Juist beginnin'," said Speug's father. "Him oot sune? I tell you he's +settlin' down for the afternoon and that laddie Howieson is a dour +deevil. The fact is"--Mr. McGuffie took a circle of spectators into his +confidence--"they're juist gettin' into the stride." The Count preened +his plumage and plucked up heart again, while the Seminary lads, +gathered in a solid mass to the left of the tent, were afraid to cheer +lest they should invite defeat, and, while they pretended unconcern, +could feel their hearts beating. "They couldn't be better matched," said +Nestie. "Speug and Jock--they've had l-lots of things in hand together, +and they'll d-do it yet. See!" and at that moment Speug sent a ball to +the boundary. Now there were only seventeen, instead of thirty-three +runs to make. + +They were playing a game of the utmost carefulness, blocking the balls +which were dangerous and could not be played; declining to give the +faintest chance of a catch, and taking a run short rather than be run +out, and so the score crept up with a two from Howieson, who had got +into a habit of twos, and being a phlegmatic youth, kept to it, and a +three and a four from Speug, and another two from Howieson, and a three +from Speug. + +Across the heads of the people McGuffie shouted to the coachman, "Take +you again, Petrie--ten to one, five to one, three to one against the +Seminary?" And when there was no answer, Mr. McGuffie offered to take it +even from anybody, and finally appealed to the man, next him. It was +Bailie MacConachie, who forgetful of the past and everything except the +glory of Muirtown, was now standing beside Speug's father and did not +care. "Speug's no dead yet Bailie"; and then, catching the look in +MacConachie's face, "bygones are bygones, we're a' Muirtown men the +day"; and then his voice rose again across the crowd "I'll give ye odds, +coachman--two to one against the 'Bumbees'" for Howieson had scored +another two, and two more runs would win the match for the Seminary. + +Then a terrible thing happened, for Howieson, instead of stopping the +ball with his bat, must needs stop it with his leg. "How's that?" cried +the Columbian wicket-keeper, "how's that, umpire?" Was his leg before +wicket or not? And for the moment every one, Seminary and Columbian, +Bulldog, McGuffie, Bailie, men, women and children, held their breath. +It would have been maddening to have been beaten only by one run, and +after such a gallant fight. + +"Not out!" replied the umpire in two seconds; but it seemed ten minutes, +and a yell went up from the throats of the Seminary, and Bailie +MacConachie took off his hat and wiped his forehead, which Mr. McGuffie +noted with sympathy and laid up to the Bailie's credit. There was +another crisis at hand which had been forgotten by Muirtown, but it was +very keenly present to the minds of the Columbians. One over more and +the time limit would be reached and the game closed. If the Seminary +could make two runs, they would win; if the Columbians could get Speug's +wicket, they would win. They put on their most dangerous man, whose ball +had a trick of coming down just six inches in front of the block, and +then, having escaped the attention of the batsman, of coming perilously +near the wicket. His attack compelled the most watchful defence, and +hardly allowed the chance of a run. Two balls Speug blocked, but could +do no more with them; the third got past and shaved the wicket; the +fourth Speug sent to slip but the fielding allowed no run; the fifth, +full of cunning, he stopped with difficulty, and fear seized the heart +of Muirtown that the last would capture the wickets and give the victory +to the visitors. And it was the cleverest of all the balls, for it was +sent to land inside the block, just so much nearer as might deceive the +batsman accustomed to the former distance. No sooner had it left the +bowler's hand then Fleming saw the risk and gnawed his moustache. Every +eye followed the ball through the air on what seemed, for the anxiety of +it, a course of miles. The Columbians drew together unconsciously in +common hope. Robertson, the Seminary captain, dug his right heel into +the ground, and opposite, between the field and the river, the leader of +that rapscallion school, the "Pennies," stood erect, intent, +open-mouthed with his crew around, for once silent and motionless. Speug +took a swift stride forward and met the ball nearly three feet from the +ground, and, gathering up all the strength in his tough little body, he +caught that ball on the middle of the bat and sent it over square-leg's +head, who had come in too near and made one hopeless clutch at it, and +through the ranks of the "Pennies," who cleared out on every side to +let it pass as they had never yielded to Speug himself; and ere Muirtown +had found voice to cheer, the red-haired varlet who ruled the "Pennies" +had flung his bonnet, such as it was, into the air, for, the ball was in +the river, and the Seminary had won by three runs and one wicket. + +Things happened then which are beyond the pen of man, but it was freely +said that the "Hurrah" of Bulldog, master of mathematics, drowned the +hunting-cry of Mr. McGuffie, and that when the Count, in his joy over +the victory of his "jolly dogs," knocked off Bailie MacConachie's hat, +and would have apologised, the Bailie kicked his own hat in triumph. +This is certain, that the Seminary carried Speug and Howieson both +protesting, from the North Meadow, in through the big school door; that +Bulldog walked at the head of the procession, like a general coming home +in his glory; that he insisted on the Bailie walking with him; that, +after all the cheering was over, Speug proposed one cheer more for +Bailie MacConachie, and that when the eleven departed for Bulldog's +house for supper half the Seminary escorted the Bailie home. + + + + +BULLDOG'S RECOMPENSE + +XVI + + +When the rumour flew through Muirtown in Spring that Bulldog was to +resign at the close of the summer term it was laughed to scorn, and +treated as an agreeable jest. Had it been the rector who was more a +learned ghost than a human being, or the English master who had grown +stout and pursey, or some of the other masters who came and went like +shadows, Muirtown had not given another thought to the matter, but +Bulldog retiring, it was a very facetious idea, and Muirtown held its +sides. Perhaps it was delicate health was the cause; and then Dr. Manley +stormed through half Muirtown, declaring that he had never known Dugald +MacKinnon have an hour's sickness except once when that little scoundrel +Speug, or rather he should say Sir Peter McGuffie, consulting physician, +brought his master through triumphantly with a trifle of assistance from +himself as a general practitioner. Was it old age that ailed Bulldog? +Then Bailie MacConachie was constrained to testify in public places, and +was supported by all the other Bailies except MacFarlane, who got his +education at Drumtochty that the mathematical master of Muirtown Academy +had thrashed them all as boys, every man jack of them, being then not +much older than themselves, and that he was now--barring his white +hair--rather fresher than in the days of their youth? Had success +departed at last from the mathematical class-room, after resting there +as in a temple of wingless victory for three generations? Was it not +known everywhere that William Pirie, whose grandfather was a senior +pupil when Bulldog took the reins fifty-eight years ago, had simply +romped through Edinburgh University gathering medals, prizes, bursaries, +fellowships, and everything else that a mathematician could lay his +hands on, and then had won a scholarship at Trinity College, Cambridge, +with papers that were talked about in the College for fourteen days, and +were laid past by one examiner as a treasure of achievement. May be, and +this was no doubt the very heart of the jest, Bulldog had lost control +of the boys, and his right hand had forgotten its cunning! So the boys +were insulted in their homes by sympathetic inquiries as to when they +had their last interview with the tawse and whether the canings were as +nippy as ever, for Muirtown was proud to think that its favourite master +was an expert in every branch of his calling and dealt with the +grandchildren as thoroughly as he had done with the grandfathers. And +Bailie MacFarlane meeting Bulldog crossing the bridge one morning as +alert in step and austere in countenance as ever, asked him how he was +keeping with affected sympathy, and allowed himself the luxury of a +chuckle as one who has made a jocose remark. + +It came therefore with a shock to Muirtown when the following letter was +read in the Town Council and was known next morning to every citizen +from the Procurator Fiscal to London John. + + +_To the Lord Provost, the Bailies, and the Council of Muirtown._ + + "Gentlemen,--I beg to resign, as from the close of the present + term, the position of Master of Mathematics, Arithmetic and + Writing, in Muirtown Seminary, and to thank the council for the + trust which they have placed in me for fifty-eight years. + + "I am, my Lord Provost and Gentlemen, + "Your obedient servant, + "Dugald MacKinnon." + + +When Muirtown recovered itself a conflict began between Bulldog and the +citizens which lasted for four intense weeks in which the town was at +fever heat and Bulldog was outwardly colder and calmer than ever. And he +won all along the line. The Council passed a resolution of respectful +admiration, studded with stately adjectives, and, for such a document, +almost heated in feeling, to which Mr. MacKinnon sent a courteous but +guarded reply. The Council intimated that they would consider his letter +to be non-existent, and not even put him to the trouble of withdrawing, +and Mr. MacKinnon intimated to the Town Clerk that in that case he must +trouble the Council with an exact copy. The Council then appointed a +deputation to wait on him, and Mr. MacKinnon declared himself unworthy +of such an unprecedented honour, and declined to see them. And then the +Council, in despair, and with a sad sense of the inevitable, strained +their powers to the utmost with immense unanimity, and voted a handsome +pension to "Dugald MacKinnon, Esq., Master of Arts, in grateful, +although unworthy recognition of the unbroken, unwearied, and invaluable +service he has rendered to the education of this ancient city for a +period of more than half a century, during which time nearly two +thousand lads have been sent forth equipped for the practical business +of life in Muirtown, in the great cities of our land and unto the ends +of the earth." Mr. MacKinnon explained in a letter of perfect +handwriting that he was quite undeserving of such a resolution, as he +had done nothing more than his duty, and that he could not accept any +retiring allowance--first, because he was not sure that it was strictly +legal, and, secondly, because he had made provision for his last years, +but on this occasion he signed himself "Your most obliged servant." It +was then determined to entertain this obdurate man at a banquet, and to +make a presentation of plate to him. And Mr. MacKinnon was again most +grateful for the kindness of his fellow citizens and the honour they +proposed to do him, but he clearly indicated he would neither accept the +banquet nor a piece of plate. It dawned gradually upon Muirtown, a city +slow but sure of understanding, and with a silent sense of the fitness +of things, that Mr. Dugald MacKinnon, having reigned like Cæsar Augustus +for fifty-eight years without contradiction and without conciliation, +giving no favours and receiving none, but doing his part by the laddies +of Muirtown with all his strength of mind and conscience and right arm, +was not going to weaken at the end of his career. For him to rise at the +close of a dinner and return thanks for a piece of plate would have been +out of keeping with his severe and lonely past, and for him to be a +pensioner, even of the Town Council, would have been an indignity. He +had reigned longer and more absolutely than any master in the annals of +the Seminary, and to the last day he had held the sceptre without +flinching. As a king, strong, uncompromising and invincible, he would +lay aside the purple, and disappear into private life. And Muirtown was +proud of Bulldog. + +Bulldog had beaten the magistrates of Muirtown in all their glory, and +his fellow citizens united in one enthusiastic body, but he had not yet +settled with the boys. They had not expressed in resolutions or any +other way their appreciation of their master, and they had followed the +futile attempts of their parents with silent contempt. It was wonderful +that grown up people should be so far left to themselves as to suppose +that Bulldog, their own Bulldog, would ever condescend to be dined by +Bailies and stand at the close of dinner like a dithering idiot with a +silver jug in his hands, or some such trash, while his hands were +itching to thrash every one of his hosts as he had thrashed them long +ago. When the boys heard their fathers raging at Bulldog's proud +obstinacy they offered no remark, but when they got together they +chortled with glee, and felt that there was comfort and compensation for +many an honest thrashing, in the fact that Bulldog was as much ruler of +Muirtown as he had been of the Seminary. No rebellion against him had +ever had the faintest gleam of hope, and no rebel had ever escaped +without his just punishment, but the boys, rascals to the last and full +of devilry, agreed together by an instinct rather than a conference that +they would close Bulldog's last term with a royal insurrection. He had +governed them with an iron hand, and they had been proud to be governed, +considering the wounds of Bulldog ten thousand times more desirable than +the kisses of McIntyres', but they would have one big revenge and then +Bulldog and his "fiddlers" would part for ever. They held long +confabulations together in the Rector's class-room while that learned +man was reading aloud some new and specially ingenious translation of an +ode and in the class-room of modern languages, while Moossy's successor +was trying to teach Jock Howieson how to pronounce a modified U, in the +German tongue, in Mrs. McWhae's tuck-shop when the "gundy" allowed them +to speak at all, and at the Russian guns where they gathered in the +break instead of playing rounders. The junior boys were not admitted to +those mysterious meetings, but were told to wait and see what they would +see, and whatever plan the seniors formed not a word of it oozed out in +the town. But the Seminary was going to do something mighty, and Bulldog +would repent the years of his tyranny. + +Funds were necessary for the campaign, since it was going to be a big +affair, and Speug directed that a war chest should at once be +established. No one outside the secret junta knew what was going to be +done with the money, but orders were issued that by hook or crook every +boy in school except the merest kids should pay sixpence a week to Jock +Howieson, who was not an accomplished classical scholar nor specially +versed in geometry but who could keep the most intricate accounts in his +head with unerring accuracy, and knew every boy in the Seminary by head +mark. And although he was not a fluent speaker, he was richly endowed +with other powers of persuasion, and he would be a very daring young +gentleman indeed, and almost indifferent to circumstances, who did not +pay his sixpence to Jock before set of sun each Monday. Jock made no +demands, and gave no receipts; he engaged in no conversation whatever, +but simply waited and took. If any one tried to compound with Jock for +threepence, one look at the miserable produced the sixpence; and when +little Cosh following in the devious steps of his elder brother +insinuated that he had paid already, Jock dropped him into the lade to +refresh his memory. No one directly inquired what was to be done with +the money, for every one knew it was safe with Jock, and that it would +be well spent by the mighty four who now ruled the school: Jock, +Bauldie, Nestie, and Speug--Dunc Robertson after a brief course at +Sandhurst having got his commission in his father's regiment. And it was +also known that every halfpenny was going to give a big surprise to +Bulldog, so the boys, during those weeks treated their fathers with +obsequious respect for commercial reasons, and coaxed additional pennies +out of their mothers on every false pretence, and paid endearing visits +to maiden aunts, and passed Mrs. McWhae's shop, turning away their eyes +and noses from vanity, and sold to grinding capitalists their tops, +marbles, young rabbits, and kites; and "as sure as death" every Monday +the silent but observant treasurer received for eight weeks 5£ 4s., at +the rate of sixpence a head, from 208 boys. They kept their secret like +an oyster, and there was not one informer among the 208; but curiosity +grew hot, and there were many speculations, and it was widely believed +that the money would be used in sending a cane of the most magnificent +proportions to Bulldog, as a remembrance of his teaching days, and a +mark of respect from his pupils. One boy, being left to himself, dared +to suggest this to Speug; and when he looked round at some distance off, +Speug's eye was still upon him, and he declared from his experience that +it was not healthy to question Speug. Two hundred and four boys, +however, with the observant faculties of Indian scouts, and intent upon +discovery could not be altogether baffled, and various bits of reliable +information were passed round the school. That the four had gone one +evening into Bailie MacConachie's, who was now on terms of high +popularity with the school; that the Count who was even then sickening +for his death, and Mr. McGuffie, whom nothing but an accident could +kill, had also been present; that at different times the Count had been +seen examining the gold watches in Gillespie's shop, whose watches were +carried by every man of standing in the Scots Midlands, and pronouncing +his judgment on their appearance with vivacious gestures; that the +Bailie had been seen examining the interior of a watch with awful +solemnity while Councillor Gillespie hung upon his decision; and, to +crown all, that Mr. McGuffie senior, after a lengthy interview with the +head of the firm, during which he had given him gratuitous advice on +three coming races, had left Gillespie's, declaring with pronounced +language that if certain persons did not obtain certain things for £40 +he, Mr. McGuffie, although not a person giving to betting, would wager +ten to one that the place of business would close in a year. It was +whispered therefore in the corridors, with some show of truth, that the +Seminary was going to take vengeance on Bulldog with a gift, and that +the gift, whatever it might be, was lying in Gillespie's shop. And the +school speculated whether there was any one of their number, even Speug +himself, who would dare to face Bulldog with a gift; and whether, if he +did, that uncompromising man might not occupy his last week of +mastership in thrashing the school one by one, from the oldest unto the +youngest, for their blazing impertinence. + +The closing day was a Thursday that year, and it was characteristic of +Bulldog that he met his classes as usual on Wednesday, and when +Howieson disgraced himself beyond usual in Euclid, having disgraced +himself more moderately on four preceding days that he administered +discipline on Jock with conscientious severity. Jock was the last boy +Bulldog thrashed, and he was so lifted up as to be absolutely +unendurable for the rest of the day, and boasted of the distinction for +many a year. As four o'clock approached, the boys began to grow +restless, and Bulldog's own voice was not perfectly steady when he +closed the last problem with Q. E. D. + +"Q. E. D.; yes, Q. E. D., laddies, we have carried the argument to its +conclusion according to the principles of things, and the book is +finished. There is still seven minutes of the hour remaining, we will +spend it in revising the work of the Senior Algebra Class." + +Their work has not been revised unto this day, for at that moment the +door opened without any one knocking, and without any one offering an +apology, and William Pirie, Master of Arts of Edinburgh, and scholar of +Trinity College, Cambridge, and Duncan Robertson, 2nd Lieutenant in the +Perthshire Buffs, made their appearance, accompanied by Bailie +MacConachie, whose dignity was fearsome; the Count, who waved his hand +gracefully to the school, and Mr. McGuffie, who included everybody in an +affable nod; and behind this imposing deputation every boy of Muirtown +Seminary who was not already in the mathematical class-room. Bulldog +turned upon them like a lion caught in a snare, and if he had had only +thirty seconds preparation, it is firmly believed he would have driven +the whole deputation, old and young, out of the class-room and dealt +with the conspirators who remained unto the setting of the sun. But it +was a cunning plot, arranged and timed with minute care, and before +Bulldog could say a word Pirie had begun, and he knew better than to say +much. + +"If we have offended you, sir, you will pardon us for it is our last +offence, and we have this time a fair excuse. Your laddies could not let +you leave that desk and go out of this room for the last time without +telling you that they are grateful, because you have tried to make them +scholars, and to make them men. If any of us be able in after years to +do our part well, we shall owe it more than anything else to your +teaching and your discipline." + +Then Robertson, who was the other spokesman the four had chosen, began. + +"Can't make a speech, sir, it is not in my line, but everything Pirie +said is true, and we are proud of our chief." + +"This," said Pirie, turning to the boys, "is the watch and chain which +we ask the master to do us the honour of wearing through the days to +come, and the inscription, sir," and now Pirie turned to the desk, +"crowns our offence, but you will know how to read it!" + + "TO BULLDOG, + WITH THE RESPECT AND AFFECTION + OF + HIS LADDIES." + +It was Bailie MacConachie--may everything be pardoned to him--who +started the cheer; but it was Mr. McGuffie who led it over hedge and +ditch, and it was of such a kind that the mathematical class-room had to +be repaired before the beginning of next term. During the storm Bulldog +stood with the watch in his hand, and his cheeks as white as his hair, +and when at last there was silence he tried to speak, but the tender +heart had broken the iron mask, and all he could say was "laddies." + +The Count, with quick tact, led off the second cheer, and the boys filed +out of the class-room. Bulldog sat down at the desk, the watch before +him, and covered his face with his hands. When an hour later he walked +across the North Meadow there was not a boy to be seen but Bailie +MacFarlane, who met him on the bridge (and passed without speaking), +noticed that Bulldog was wearing his laddies' gift. + +Sitting in his garden that evening and looking down upon the plain, +Bulldog called Nestie to his side, and pointed to the river. The evening +sun was shining on the fields, ripening for harvest, and on the +orchards, laden with fruit; and in the soft light, a rough +weather-beaten coaster, which had fought her way through many a gale in +the North Sea, and could not hold together much longer was dropping down +with the tide. Newer and swifter vessels would take her place in the +days to come, but the old craft had done her work well and faithfully, +and now the cleanest and kindest of Scots rivers was carrying her gently +to the eternal ocean. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Young Barbarians, by Ian Maclaren + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30089 *** |