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diff --git a/old/birds10.txt b/old/birds10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6172a94 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/birds10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4117 @@ +The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Birds +by Aristophanes +(#4 in our series by Aristophanes) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the laws for your country before redistributing these files!!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. + +Please do not remove this. + +This should be the first thing seen when anyone opens the book. +Do not change or edit it without written permission. 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Occasional Greek +words in the footnotes have not been included. Footnote numbers, +in brackets, start anew at [1] for each piece of dialogue, and each +footnote follows immediately the dialogue to which it refers, labeled +thus: f[1]. + + + + +INTRODUCTION + + + +'The Birds' differs markedly from all the other Comedies of +Aristophanes which have come down to us in subject and general +conception. It is just an extravaganza pure and simple--a +graceful, whimsical theme chosen expressly for the sake of the +opportunities it afforded of bright, amusing dialogue, pleasing +lyrical interludes, and charming displays of brilliant stage +effects and pretty dresses. Unlike other plays of the same Author, +there is here apparently no serious political MOTIF underlying +the surface burlesque and buffoonery. + +Some critics, it is true, profess to find in it a reference to +the unfortunate Sicilian Expedition, then in progress, and a +prophecy of its failure and the political downfall of Alcibiades. +But as a matter of fact, the whole thing seems rather an attempt +on the dramatist's part to relieve the overwrought minds of his fellow- +citizens, anxious and discouraged at the unsatisfactory reports +from before Syracuse, by a work conceived in a lighter vein +than usual and mainly unconnected with contemporary realities. +The play was produced in the year 414 B.C., just when success or +failure in Sicily hung in the balance, though already the outlook +was gloomy, and many circumstances pointed to impending +disaster. Moreover, the public conscience was still shocked and +perturbed over the mysterious affair of the mutilation of the +Hermae, which had occurred immediately before the sailing +of the fleet, and strongly suspicious of Alcibiades' participation +in the outrage. In spite of the inherent charm of the subject, +the splendid outbursts of lyrical poetry in some of the choruses and +the beauty of the scenery and costumes, 'The Birds' failed to +win the first prize. This was acclaimed to a play of Aristophanes' +rival, Amipsias, the title of which, 'The Comastoe,' or 'Revellers,' +"seems to imply that the chief interest was derived from direct +allusions to the outrage above mentioned and to the individuals +suspected to have been engaged in it." + +For this reason, which militated against its immediate success, +viz. the absence of direct allusion to contemporary politics-- +there are, of course, incidental references here and there to +topics and personages of the day--the play appeals perhaps +more than any other of our Author's productions to the modern +reader. Sparkling wit, whimsical fancy, poetic charm, are of all +ages, and can be appreciated as readily by ourselves as by +an Athenian audience of two thousand years ago, though, of course, +much is inevitably lost "without the important adjuncts +of music, scenery, dresses and what we may call 'spectacle' generally, +which we know in this instance to have been on the most +magnificent scale." + +The plot is this. Euelpides and Pisthetaerus, two old Athenians, +disgusted with the litigiousness, wrangling and sycophancy of +their countrymen, resolve upon quitting Attica. Having heard +of the fame of Epops (the hoopoe), sometime called Tereus, +and now King of the Birds, they determine, under the direction +of a raven and a jackdaw, to seek from him and his subject +birds a city free from all care and strife." Arrived at the Palace +of Epops, they knock, and Trochilus (the wren), in a state of +great flutter, as he mistakes them for fowlers, opens the door +and informs them that his Majesty is asleep. When he awakes, +the strangers appear before him, and after listening to a long +and eloquent harangue on the superior attractions of a residence +among the birds, they propose a notable scheme of their own +to further enhance its advantages and definitely secure the +sovereignty of the universe now exercised by the gods of Olympus. + +The birds are summoned to meet in general council. They come +flying up from all quarters of the heavens, and after a brief mis- +understanding, during which they come near tearing the two +human envoys to pieces, they listen to the exposition of the latters' +plan. This is nothing less than the building of a new city, +to be called Nephelococcygia, or 'Cloud-cuckoo-town,' between +earth and heaven, to be garrisoned and guarded by the birds in +such a way as to intercept all communication of the gods with +their worshippers on earth. All steam of sacrifice will be prevented +from rising to Olympus, and the Immortals will very +soon be starved into an acceptance of any terms proposed. +The new Utopia is duly constructed, and the daring plan to secure +the sovereignty is in a fair way to succeed. Meantime various quacks +and charlatans, each with a special scheme for improving things, +arrive from earth, and are one after the other exposed and dismissed. +Presently arrives Prometheus, who informs Epops of the desperate straits +to which the gods are by this time reduced, and advises him to push +his claims and demand the hand of Basileia (Dominion), the handmaid +of Zeus. Next an embassy from the Olympians appears on the scene, +consisting of Heracles, Posidon and a god from the savage regions +of the Triballians. After some disputation, it is agreed +that all reasonable demands of the birds are to be granted, while +Pisthetaerus is to have Basileia as his bride. The comedy winds +up with the epithalamium in honour of the nuptials. + + + +DRAMATIS PERSONAE + +EUELPIDES +PISTHETAERUS +EPOPS (the Hoopoe) +TROCHILUS, Servant to Epops +PHOENICOPTERUS +HERALDS +A PRIEST +A POET +A PROPHET +METON, a Geometrician +A COMMISSIONER +A DEALER IN DECREES +IRIS +A PARRICIDE +CINESIAS, a Dithyrambic Bard +AN INFORMER +PROMETHEUS +POSIDON +TRIBALLUS +HERACLES +SLAVES OF PISTHETAERUS +MESSENGERS +CHORUS OF BIRDS + + + + +SCENE: A wild, desolate tract of open country; broken rocks +and brushwood occupy the centre of the stage. + + + +EUELPIDES (TO HIS JAY)[1] +Do you think I should walk straight for yon tree? + +f[1] Euelpides is holding a jay and Pisthetaerus a crow; they are +the guides who are to lead them to the kingdom of the birds. + +PISTHETAERUS (TO HIS CROW) +Cursed beast, what are you croaking to me?...to retrace my steps? + +EUELPIDES +Why, you wretch, we are wandering at random, we are exerting +ourselves only to return to the same spot; 'tis labour lost. + +PISTHETAERUS +To think that I should trust to this crow, which has made me cover +more than a thousand furlongs! + +EUELPIDES +And that I to this jay, which has torn every nail from my fingers! + +PISTHETAERUS +If only I knew where we were.... + +EUELPIDES +Could you find your country again from here? + +PISTHETAERUS +No, I feel quite sure I could not, any more than could +Execestides[1] find his. + +f[1] A stranger who wanted to pass as an Athenian, although coming +originally for a far-away barbarian country. + +EUELPIDES +Oh dear! oh dear! + +PISTHETAERUS +Aye, aye, my friend, 'tis indeed the road of "oh dears" we are +following. + +EUELPIDES +That Philocrates, the bird-seller, played us a scurvy trick, +when he pretended these two guides could help us to find Tereus,[1] +the Epops, who is a bird, without being born of one. He has +indeed sold us this jay, a true son of Tharelides,[2] for +an obolus, and this crow for three, but what can they do? Why, +nothing whatever but bite and scratch! --What's the matter with you +then, that you keep opening your beak? Do you want us to fling +ourselves headlong down these rocks? There is no road that way. + +f[1] A king of Thrace, a son of Ares, who married Procne, the daughter +of Pandion, King of Athens, whom he had assisted against the Megarians. +He violated his sister-in-law, Philomela, and then cut out her +tongue; she nevertheless managed to convey to her sister how she had +been treated. They both agreed to kill Itys, whom Procne had borne +to Tereus, and dished up the limbs of his own son to the father; +at the end of the meal Philomela appeared and threw the child's head +upon the table. Tereus rushed with drawn sword upon the princesses, +but all the actors in this terrible scene were metamorph[o]sed. Tereus +became an Epops (hoopoe), Procne a swallow, Philomela a nightingale, +and Itys a goldfinch. According to Anacreon and Apollodorus it was +Procne who became the nightingale and Philomela the swallow, and this +is the version of the tradition followed by Aristophanes. +f[2] An Athenian who had some resemblance to a jay--so says +the scholiast, at any rate. + +PISTHETAERUS +Not even the vestige of a track in any direction. + +EUELPIDES +And what does the crow say about the road to follow? + +PISTHETAERUS +By Zeus, it no longer croaks the same thing it did. + +EUELPIDES +And which way does it tell us to go now? + +PISTHETAERUS +It says that, by dint of gnawing, it will devour my fingers. + +EUELPIDES +What misfortune is ours! we strain every nerve to get to the birds,[1] +do everything we can to that end, and we cannot find our way! +Yes, spectators, our madness is quite different from that of Sacas. +He is not a citizen, and would fain be one at any cost; we, on the +contrary, born of an honourable tribe and family and living in the midst +of our fellow-citizens, we have fled from our country as hard as ever +we could go. 'Tis not that we hate it; we recognize it to be great +and rich, likewise that everyone has the right to ruin himself; but +the crickets only chirrup among the fig-trees for a month or two, +whereas the Athenians spend their whole lives in chanting forth +judgments from their law-courts.[2] That is why we started off +with a basket, a stew-pot and some myrtle boughs[3] and have come +to seek a quiet country in which to settle. We are going to Tereus, +the Epops, to learn from him, whether, in his aerial flights, +he has noticed some town of this kind. + +f[1] Literally, 'to go to the crows,' a proverbial expression +equivalent to our 'going to the devil.' +f[2] They leave Athens because of their hatred of lawsuits and informers; +this is the especial failing of the Athenians satirized in 'The Wasps.' +f[3] Myrtle boughs were used in sacrifices, and the founding of every +colony was started by a sacrifice. + +PISTHETAERUS +Here! look! + +EUELPIDES +What's the matter? + +PISTHETAERUS +Why, the crow has been pointing me to something up there for some +time now. + +EUELPIDES +And the jay is also opening its beak and craning its neck to show +me I know not what. Clearly, there are some birds about here. +We shall soon know, if we kick up a noise to start them. + +PISTHETAERUS +Do you know what to do? Knock your leg against this rock. + +EUELPIDES +And you your head to double the noise. + +PISTHETAERUS +Well then use a stone instead; take one and hammer with it. + +EUELPIDES +Good idea! Ho there, within! Slave! slave! + +PISTHETAERUS +What's that, friend! You say, "slave," to summon Epops! It would +be much better to shout, "Epops, Epops!" + +EUELPIDES +Well then, Epops! Must I knock again? Epops! + +TROCHILUS +Who's there? Who calls my master? + +PISTHETAERUS +Apollo the Deliverer! what an enormous beak![1] + +f[1] The actors wore masks made to resemble the birds they were supposed +to represent. + +TROCHILUS +Good god! they are bird-catchers. + +EUELPIDES +The mere sight of him petrifies me with terror. What a horrible monster. + +TROCHILUS +Woe to you! + +EUELPIDES +But we are not men. + +TROCHILUS +What are you, then? + +EUELPIDES +I am the Fearling, an African bird. + +TROCHILUS +You talk nonsense. + +EUELPIDES +Well, then, just ask it of my feet.[1] + +f[1] Fear had had disastrous effects upon Euelpides' internal +economy, and this his feet evidenced. + +TROCHILUS +And this other one, what bird is it? + +PISTHETAERUS +I? I am a Cackling,[1] from the land of the pheasants. + +f[1] The same mishap had occurred to Pisthetaerus. + +EUELPIDES +But you yourself, in the name of the gods! what animal are you? + +TROCHILUS +Why, I am a slave-bird. + +EUELPIDES +Why, have you been conquered by a cock? + +TROCHILUS +No, but when my master was turned into a peewit, he begged me to +become a bird too, to follow and to serve him. + +EUELPIDES +Does a bird need a servant, then? + +TROCHILUS +'Tis no doubt because he was a man. At times he wants to eat a dish +of loach from Phalerum; I seize my dish and fly to fetch him some. +Again he wants some pea-soup; I seize a ladle and a pot and run +to get it. + +EUELPIDES +This is, then, truly a running-bird.[1] Come, Trochilus, do us the +kindness to call your master. + +f[1] The Greek word for a wren is derived from the same root as 'to run.' + +TROCHILUS +Why, he has just fallen asleep after a feed of myrtle-berries +and a few grubs. + +EUELPIDES +Never mind; wake him up. + +TROCHILUS +I an certain he will be angry. However, I will wake him to please +you. + +PISTHETAERUS +You cursed brute! why, I am almost dead with terror! + +EUELPIDES +Oh! my god! 'twas sheer fear that made me lose my jay. + +PISTHETAERUS +Ah! you great coward! were you so frightened that you let go your jay? + +EUELPIDES +And did you not lose your crow, when you fell sprawling on the ground? +Pray tell me that. + +PISTHETAERUS +No, no. + +EUELPIDES +Where is it, then? + +PISTHETAERUS +It has flown away. + +EUELPIDES +Then you did not let it go? Oh! you brave fellow! + +EPOPS +Open the forest,[1] that I may go out! + +f[1] No doubt there was some scenery to represent a forest. Besides, +there is a pun intended. The words answering for 'forests' and 'door' +in Greek only differ slightly in sound. + +EUELPIDES +By Heracles! what a creature! what plumage! What means this triple crest? + +EPOPS +Who wants me? + +EUELPIDES +The twelve great gods have used you ill, meseems. + +EPOPS +Are you chaffing me about my feathers? I have been a man, strangers. + +EUELPIDES +'Tis not you we are jeering at. + +EPOPS +At what, then? + +EUELPIDES +Why, 'tis your beak that looks so odd to us. + +EPOPS +This is how Sophocles outrages me in his tragedies. Know, I once +was Tereus.[1] + +f[1] Sophocles had written a tragedy about Tereus, in which, no doubt, +the king finally appears as a hoopoe. + +EUELPIDES +You were Tereus, and what are you now? a bird or a peacock?[1] + +f[1] [O]ne would expect the question to be "bird or man." --Are you +a peacock? The hoopoe resembles the peacock inasmuch as both have crests. + +EPOPS +I am a bird. + +EUELPIDES +Then where are your feathers? For I don't see them. + +EPOPS +They have fallen off. + +EUELPIDES +Through illness? + +EPOPS +No. All birds moult their feathers, you know, every winter, +and others grow in their place. But tell me, who are you? + +EUELPIDES +We? We are mortals. + +EPOPS + From what country? + +EUELPIDES + From the land of the beautiful galleys.[1] + +f[1] Athens. + +EPOPS +Are you dicasts?[1] + +f[1] The Athenians were madly addicted to lawsuits. (See 'The Wasps.') + +EUELPIDES +No, if anything, we are anti-dicasts. + +EPOPS +Is that kind of seed sown among you?[1] + +f[1] As much as to say, 'Then you have such things as anti-dicasts?' +And Euelpides practically replaces, 'Very few.' + +EUELPIDES +You have to look hard to find even a little in our fields. + +EPOPS +What brings you here? + +EUELPIDES +We wish to pay you a visit. + +EPOPS +What for? + +EUELPIDES +Because you formerly were a man, like we are, formerly you had +debts, as we have, formerly you did not want to pay them, like +ourselves; furthermore, being turned into a bird, you have when flying +seen all lands and seas. Thus you have all human knowledge as well +as that of birds. And hence we have come to you to beg you to direct +us to some cosy town, in which one can repose as if on thick coverlets. + +EPOPS +And are you looking for a greater city than Athens? + +EUELPIDES +No, not a greater, but one more pleasant to dwell in. + +EPOPS +Then you are looking for an aristocratic country. + +EUELPIDES +I? Not at all! I hold the son of Scellias in horror.[1] + +f[1] His name was Aristocrates; he was a general and commanded +a fleet sent in aid of Corcyra. + +EPOPS +But, after all, what sort of city would please you best? + +EUELPIDES +A place where the following would be the most important +business transacted. --Some friend would come knocking at the door +quite early in the morning saying, "By Olympian Zeus, be at my house +early, as soon as you have bathed, and bring your children too. I am +giving a nuptial feast, so don't fail, or else don't cross my threshold +when I am in distress." + +EPOPS +Ah! that's what may be called being fond of hardships! And what say you? + +PISTHETAERUS +My tastes are similar. + +EPOPS +And they are? + +PISTHETAERUS +I want a town where the father of a handsome lad will stop in the street +and say to me reproachfully as if I had failed him, "Ah! Is this well done, +Stilbonides! You met my son coming from the bath after the gymnasium +and you neither spoke to him, nor embraced him, nor took him with you, +nor ever once twitched his parts. Would anyone call you an old +friend of mine?" + +EPOPS +Ah! wag, I see you are fond of suffering. But there is a city of +delights, such as you want. 'Tis on the Red Sea. + +EUELPIDES +Oh, no. Not a sea-port, where some fine morning the Salaminian[1] +galley can appear, bringing a writ-server along. Have you no Greek town +you can propose to us? + +f[1] The State galley, which carried the officials of the Athenian +republic to their several departments and brought back those whose time +had expired; it was this galley that was sent to Sicily to fetch back +Alcibiades, who was accused of sacrilege. + +EPOPS +Why not choose Lepreum in Elis for your settlement? + +EUELPIDES +By Zeus! I could not look at Lepreum without disgust, because of +Melanthius.[1] + +f[1] A tragic poet, who was a leper; there is a play, of course, +on the word Lepreum. + +EPOPS +Then, again, there is the Opuntian, where you could live. + +EUELPIDES +I would not be Opuntian[1] for a talent. But come, what is it like +to live with the birds? You should know pretty well. + +f[1] An allusion to Opuntius, who was one-eyed. + +EPOPS +Why, 'tis not a disagreeable life. In the first place, one has no purse. + +EUELPIDES +That does away with much roguery. + +EPOPS +For food the gardens yield us white sesame, myrtle-berries, +poppies and mint. + +EUELPIDES +Why, 'tis the life of the newly-wed indeed.[1] + +f[1] The newly-married ate a sesame-cake, decorated with garlands +of myrtle, poppies and mint. + +PISTHETAERUS +Ha! I am beginning to see a great plan, which will transfer the +supreme power to the birds, if you will but take my advice. + +EPOPS +Take your advice? In what way? + +PISTHETAERUS +In what way? Well, firstly, do not fly in all directions with open +beak; it is not dignified. Among us, when we see a thoughtless man, +we ask, "What sort of bird is this?" and Teleas answers, "'Tis a man +who has no brain, a bird that has lost his head, a creature you cannot +catch, for it never remains in any one place." + +EPOPS +By Zeus himself! your jest hits the mark. What then is to be done? + +PISTHETAERUS +Found a city. + +EPOPS +We birds? But what sort of city should we build? + +PISTHETAERUS +Oh, really, really! 'tis spoken like a fool! Look down. + +EPOPS +I am looking. + +PISTHETAERUS +Now look upwards. + +EPOPS +I am looking. + +PISTHETAERUS +Turn your head round. + +EPOPS +Ah! 'twill be pleasant for me, if I end in twisting my neck! + +PISTHETAERUS +What have you seen? + +EPOPS +The clouds and the sky. + +PISTHETAERUS +Very well! is not this the pole of the birds then? + +EPOPS +How their pole? + +PISTHETAERUS +Or, if you like it, the land. And since it turns and passes through +the whole universe, it is called, 'pole.'[1] If you build and +fortify it, you will turn your pole into a fortified city.[2] +In this way you will reign over mankind as you do over the grasshoppers +and cause the gods to die of rabid hunger + +f[1] From [the word meaning] 'to turn.' +f[2] The Greek words for 'pole' and 'city' only differ by +a single letter. + +EPOPS +How so? + +PISTHETAERUS +The air is 'twixt earth and heaven. When we want to go to Delphi, +we ask the Boeotians[1] for leave of passage; in the same way, when men +sacrifice to the gods, unless the latter pay you tribute, you exercise +the right of every nation towards strangers and don't allow +the smoke of the sacrifices to pass through your city and territory. + +f[1] Boeotia separated Attica from Phocis. + +EPOPS +By earth! by snares! by network![1] I never heard of anything +more cleverly conceived; and, if the other birds approve, I am going +to build the city along with you. + +f[1] He swears by the powers that are to him dreadful. + +PISTHETAERUS +Who will explain the matter to them? + +EPOPS +You must yourself. Before I came they were quite ignorant, but +since I have lived with them I have taught them to speak. + +PISTHETAERUS +But how can they be gathered together? + +EPOPS +Easily. I will hasten down to the coppice to waken my dear Procne![1] +as soon as they hear our voices, they will come to us hot wing. + +f[1] As already stated, according to the legend accepted by Aristophanes, +it was Procne who was turned into the nightengale. + +PISTHETAERUS +My dear bird, lose no time, I beg. Fly at once into the coppice +and awaken Procne. + +EPOPS +Chase off drowsy sleep, dear companion. Let the sacred hymn gush +from thy divine throat in melodious strains; roll forth in soft +cadence your refreshing melodies to bewail the fate of Itys,[1] which +has been the cause of so many tears to us both. Your pure notes rise +through the thick leaves of the yew-tree right up to the throne of Zeus, +where Phoebus listens to you, Phoebus with his golden hair. +And his ivory lyre responds to your plaintive accents; he gathers +the choir of the gods and from their immortal lips rushes a sacred chant +of blessed voices. (THE FLUTE IS PLAYED BEHIND THE SCENE.) + +f[1] The son of Tereus and Procne. + +PISTHETAERUS +Oh! by Zeus! what a throat that little bird possesses. He has filled +the whole coppice with honey-sweet melody! + +EUELPIDES +Hush! + +PISTHETAERUS +What's the matter? + +EUELPIDES +Will you keep silence? + +PISTHETAERUS +What for? + +EUELPIDES +Epops is going to sing again. + +EPOPS (IN THE COPPICE) +Epopoi poi popoi, epopoi, popoi, here, here, quick, quick, quick, +my comrades in the air; all you who pillage the fertile lands +of the husbandmen, the numberless tribes who gather and devour +the barley seeds, the swift flying race who sing so sweetly. +And you whose gentle twitter resounds through the fields +with the little cry of tio, tio, tio, tio, tio, tio, tio, tio; +and you who hop about the branches of the ivy in the gardens; +the mountain birds, who feed on the wild olive berries or the arbutus, +hurry to come at my call, trioto, trioto, totobrix; you also, who snap up +the sharp-stinging gnats in the marshy vales, and you who dwell +in the fine plain of Marathon, all damp with dew, and you, the francolin +with speckled wings; you too, the halcyons, who flit over the swelling +waves of the sea, come hither to hear the tidings; let all the tribes +of long-necked birds assemble here; know that a clever old man has come +to us, bringing an entirely new idea and proposing great reforms. +Let all come to the debate here, here, here, here. Torotorotorotorotix, +kikkobau, kikkobau, torotorotorotorolililix. + +PISTHETAERUS +Can you see any bird? + +EUELPIDES +By Phoebus, no! and yet I am straining my eyesight to scan the sky. + +PISTHETAERUS +'Twas really not worth Epops' while to go and bury himself in the +thicket like a plover when a-hatching. + +PHOENICOPTERUS +Torotina, torotina. + +PISTHETAERUS +Hold, friend, here is another bird. + +EUELPIDES +I' faith, yes, 'tis a bird, but of what kind? Isn't it a peacock? + +PISTHETAERUS +Epops will tell us. What is this bird? + +EPOPS +'Tis not one of those you are used to seeing; 'tis a bird from +the marshes. + +PISTHETAERUS +Oh! oh! but he is very handsome with his wings as crimson as flame. + +EPOPS +Undoubtedly; indeed he is called flamingo.[1] + +f[1] An African bird, that comes to the southern countries of Europe, +to Greece, Italy, and Spain; it is even seen in Provence. + +EUELPIDES +Hi! I say! You! + +PISTHETAERUS +What are you shouting for? + +EUELPIDES +Why, here's another bird. + +PISTHETAERUS +Aye, indeed; 'tis a foreign bird too. What is this bird from beyond +the mountains with a look as solemn as it is stupid? + +EPOPS +He is called the Mede.[1] + +f[1] Aristophanes amusingly mixes up real birds with people and +individuals, whom he represents in the form of birds; he is +personifying the Medians here. + +PISTHETAERUS +The Mede! But, by Heracles, how, if a Mede, has he flown here +without a camel? + +EUELPIDES +Here's another bird with a crest. + +PISTHETAERUS +Ah! that's curious. I say, Epops, you are not the only one of your +kind then? + +EPOPS +This bird is the son of Philocles, who is the son of Epops;[1] so +that, you see, I am his grandfather; just as one might say, +Hipponicus,[2] the son of Callias, who is the son of Hipponicus. + +f[1] Philocles, a tragic poet, had written a tragedy on Tereus, +which was simply a plagiarism of the play of the same name +by Sophocles. Philocles is the son of Epops, because he got his +inspiration from Sophocles' Tereus, and at the same time is father +to Epops, since he himself produced another Tereus. +f[2] This Hipponicus is probably the orator whose ears Alcibiades +boxed to gain a bet; he was a descendant of Callias, who was famous +for his hatred of Pisistratus. + +PISTHETAERUS +Then this bird is Callias! Why, what a lot of his feathers he +has lost![1] + +f[1] This Callias, who must not be confounded with the foe +of Pisistratus, had ruined himself. + +EPOPS +That's because he is honest; so the informers set upon him and the +women too pluck out his feathers. + +PISTHETAERUS +By Posidon, do you see that many-coloured bird? What is his name? + +EPOPS +This one? 'Tis the glutton. + +PISTHETAERUS +Is there another glutton besides Cleonymus? But why, if he is +Cleonymus, has he not thrown away his crest?[1] But what is the meaning +of all these crests? Have these birds come to contend for the double +stadium prize?[2] + +f[1] Cleonymus had cast away his shield; he was as great a glutton +as he was a coward. +f[2] A race in which the track had to be circled twice. + +EPOPS +They are like the Carians, who cling to the crests of their +mountains for greater safety.[1] + +f[1] A people of Asia Minor; when pursued by the Ionians they took +refuge in the mountains. + +PISTHETAERUS +Oh, Posidon! do you see what swarms of birds are gathering here? + +EUELPIDES +By Phoebus! what a cloud! The entrance to the stage is no longer +visible, so closely do they fly together. + +PISTHETAERUS +Here is the partridge. + +EUELPIDES +Faith! there is the francolin. + +PISTHETAERUS +There is the poachard. + +EUELPIDES +Here is the kingfisher. And over yonder? + +EPOPS +'Tis the barber. + +EUELPIDES +What? a bird a barber? + +PISTHETAERUS +Why, Sporgilus is one.[1] Here comes the owl. + +f[1] An Athenian barber. + +EUELPIDES +And who is it brings an owl to Athens?[1] + +f[1] The owl was dedicated to Athene, and being respected at Athens, +it had greatly multiplied. Hence the proverb, 'taking owls to Athens,' +similar to our English 'taking coals to Newcastle.' + +PISTHETAERUS +Here is the magpie, the turtle-dove, the swallow, the horned owl, +the buzzard, the pigeon, the falcon, the ring-dove, the cuckoo, +the red-foot, the red-cap, the purple-cap, the kestrel, the diver, +the ousel, the osprey, the woodpecker. + +EUELPIDES +Oh! oh! what a lot of birds! what a quantity of blackbirds! +how they scold, how they come rushing up! What a noise! what a +noise! Can they be bearing us ill-will? Oh! there! there! they are +opening their beaks and staring at us. + +PISTHETAERUS +Why, so they are. + +CHORUS +Popopopopopopopoi. Where is he who called me? Where am I to find him? + +EPOPS +I have been waiting for you this long while! I never fail in my +word to my friends. + +CHORUS +Titititititititi. What good thing have you to tell me? + +EPOPS +Something that concerns our common safety, and that is just as +pleasant as it is to the purpose. Two men, who are subtle reasoners, +have come here to seek me. + +CHORUS +Where? What? What are you saying? + +EPOPS +I say, two old men have come from the abode of men to propose a +vast and splendid scheme to us. + +CHORUS +Oh! 'tis a horrible, unheard-of crime! What are you saying? + +EPOPS +Nay! never let my words scare you. + +CHORUS +What have you done then? + +EPOPS +I have welcomed two men, who wish to live with us. + +CHORUS +And you have dared to do that! + +EPOPS +Aye, and am delighted at having done so. + +CHORUS +Where are they? + +EPOPS +In your midst, as I am. + +CHORUS +Ah! ah! we are betrayed; 'tis sacrilege! Our friend, he who picked +up corn-seeds in the same plains as ourselves, has violated our +ancient laws; he has broken the oaths that bind all birds; he has laid +a snare for me, he has handed us over to the attacks of that impious +race which, throughout all time, has never ceased to war against us. +As for this traitorous bird, we will decide his case later, but +the two old men shall be punished forthwith; we are going to tear them +to pieces. + +PISTHETAERUS +'Tis all over with us. + +EUELPIDES +You are the sole cause of all our trouble. Why did you bring me +from down yonder? + +PISTHETAERUS +To have you with me. + +EUELPIDES +Say rather to have me melt into tears. + +PISTHETAERUS +Go to! you are talking nonsense. + +EUELPIDES +How so? + +PISTHETAERUS +How will you be able to cry when once your eyes are pecked out? + +CHORUS +Io! io! forward to the attack, throw yourselves upon the foe, +spill his blood; take to your wings and surround them on all sides. +Woe to them! let us get to work with our beaks, let us devour them. +Nothing can save them from our wrath, neither the mountain forests, +nor the clouds that float in the sky, nor the foaming deep. +Come, peck, tear to ribbons. Where is the chief of the cohort? Let +him engage the right wing. + +EUELPIDES +This is the fatal moment. Where shall I fly to, unfortunate wretch +that I am? + +PISTHETAERUS +Stay! stop here! + +EUELPIDES +That they may tear me to pieces? + +PISTHETAERUS +And how do you think to escape them? + +EUELPIDES +I don't know at all. + +PISTHETAERUS +Come, I will tell you. We must stop and fight them. Let us arm +ourselves with these stew-pots. + +EUELPIDES +Why with the stew-pots? + +PISTHETAERUS +The owl will not attack us.[1] + +f[1] An allusion to the Feast of Pots; it was kept at Athens +on the third day of the Anthesteria, when all sorts of vegetables +were stewed together and offered for the dead to Bacchus and Athene. +This Feast was peculiar to Athens. --Hence Pisthetaerus thinks that +the owl will recognize they are Athenians by seeing the stew-pots, +and as he is an Athenian bird, he will not attack them. + +EUELPIDES +But do you see all those hooked claws? + +PISTHETAERUS +Seize the spit and pierce the foe on your side. + +EUELPIDES +And how about my eyes? + +PISTHETAERUS +Protect them with this dish or this vinegar-pot. + +EUELPIDES +Oh! what cleverness! what inventive genius! You are a great general, +even greater than Nicias,[1] where stratagem is concerned. + +f[1] Nicias, the famous Athenian general. --The siege of Melos in 417 +B.C., or two years previous to the production of 'The Birds,' had +especially done him great credit. He was joint commander of the Sicilian +expedition. + +CHORUS +Forward, forward, charge with your beaks! Come, no delay. Tear, +pluck, strike, flay them, and first of all smash the stew-pot. + +EPOPS +Oh, most cruel of all animals, why tear these two men to pieces, +why kill them? What have they done to you? They belong to the same +tribe, to the same family as my wife.[1] + +f[1] Procne, the daughter of Pandion, King of Athens. + +CHORUS +Are wolves to be spared? Are they not our most mortal foes? So let +us punish them. + +EPOPS +If they are your foes by nature, they are your friends in heart, +and they come here to give you useful advice. + +CHORUS +Advice or a useful word from their lips, from them, the enemies of +my forebears! + +EPOPS +The wise can often profit by the lessons of a foe, for caution +is the mother of safety. 'Tis just such a thing as one will not learn +from a friend and which an enemy compels you to know. To begin with, +'tis the foe and not the friend that taught cities to build high +walls, to equip long vessels of war; and 'tis this knowledge that +protects our children, our slaves and our wealth. + +CHORUS +Well then, I agree, let us first hear them, for 'tis best; +one can even learn something in an enemy's school. + +PISTHETAERUS +Their wrath seems to cool. Draw back a little. + +EPOPS +'Tis only justice, and you will thank me later. + +CHORUS +Never have we opposed your advice up to now. + +PISTHETAERUS +They are in a more peaceful mood; put down your stew-pot and +your two dishes; spit in hand, doing duty for a spear, let us mount +guard inside the camp close to the pot and watch in our arsenal +closely; for we must not fly. + +EUELPIDES +You are right. But where shall we be buried, if we die? + +PISTHETAERUS +In the Ceramicus;[1] for, to get a public funeral, we shall tell +the Strategi that we fell at Orneae,[2] fighting the country's foes. + +f[1] A space beyond the walls of Athens which contained the gardens +of the Academy and the graves of citizens who had died for their country. +f[2] A town in Western Argolis, where the Athenians had been recently +defeated. The somewhat similar work in Greek signifies 'birds.' + +CHORUS +Return to your ranks and lay down your courage beside your wrath +as the Hoplites do. Then let us ask these men who they are, whence +they come, and with what intent. Here, Epops, answer me. + +EPOPS +Are you calling me? What do you want of me? + +CHORUS +Who are they? From what country? + +EPOPS +Strangers, who have come from Greece, the land of the wise. + +CHORUS +And what fate has led them hither to the land of the birds? + +EPOPS +Their love for you and their wish to share your kind of life; +to dwell and remain with you always. + +CHORUS +Indeed, and what are their plans? + +EPOPS +They are wonderful, incredible, unheard of. + +CHORUS +Why, do they think to see some advantage that determines them to +settle here? Are they hoping with our help to triumph over their +foes or to be useful to their friends? + +EPOPS +They speak of benefits so great it is impossible either to describe +or conceive them; all shall be yours, all that we see here, there, +above and below us; this they vouch for. + +CHORUS +Are they mad? + +EPOPS +They are the sanest people in the world. + +CHORUS +Clever men? + +EPOPS +The slyest of foxes, cleverness its very self, men of the world, +cunning, the cream of knowing folk. + +CHORUS +Tell them to speak and speak quickly; why, as I listen to you, +I am beside myself with delight. + +EPOPS +Here, you there, take all these weapons and hang them up inside +close to the fire, near the figure of the god who presides there and +under his protection;[1] as for you, address the birds, tell them why +I have gathered them together. + +f[1] Epops is addressing the two slaves, no doubt Xanthias and Manes, +who are mentioned later on. + +PISTHETAERUS +Not I, by Apollo, unless they agree with me as the little ape of +an armourer agreed with his wife, not to bite me, nor pull me by the +parts, nor shove things up my... + +CHORUS +You mean the...(PUTS FINGER TO BOTTOM) Oh! be quite at ease. + +PISTHETAERUS +No, I mean my eyes. + +CHORUS +Agreed. + +PISTHETAERUS +Swear it. + +CHORUS +I swear it and, if I keep my promise, let judges and spectators +give me the victory unanimously. + +PISTHETAERUS +It is a bargain. + +CHORUS +And if I break my word, may I succeed by one vote only. + +HERALD +Hearken, ye people! Hoplites, pick up your weapons and return to +your firesides; do not fail to read the decrees of dismissal we have +posted. + +CHORUS +Man is a truly cunning creature, but nevertheless explain. Perhaps +you are going to show me some good way to extend my power, some way +that I have not had the wit to find out and which you have discovered. +Speak! 'tis to your own interest as well as to mine, for if you secure +me some advantage, I will surely share it with you. But what object +can have induced you to come among us? Speak boldly, for I shall not +break +the truce, --until you have told us all. + +PISTHETAERUS +I am bursting with desire to speak; I have already mixed the dough +of my address and nothing prevents me from kneading it.... Slave! bring +the chaplet and water, which you must pour over my hands. Be quick![1] + +f[1] It was customary, when speaking in public and also at feasts, +to wear a chaplet; hence the question Euelpides puts. --The guests wore +chaplets of flowers, herbs, and leaves, which had the property of being +refreshing. + +EUELPIDES +Is it a question of feasting? What does it all mean? + +PISTHETAERUS +By Zeus, no! but I am hunting for fine, tasty words to break down +the hardness of their hearts. --I grieve so much for you, who +at one time were kings... + +CHORUS +We kings! Over whom? + +PISTHETAERUS +...of all that exists, firstly of me and of this man, even of Zeus +himself. Your race is older than Saturn, the Titans and the Earth. + +CHORUS +What, older than the Earth! + +PISTHETAERUS +By Phoebus, yes. + +CHORUS +By Zeus, but I never knew that before! + +PISTHETAERUS +'Tis because you are ignorant and heedless, and have never read +your Aesop. 'Tis he who tells us that the lark was born +before all other creatures, indeed before the Earth; his father died +of sickness, but the Earth did not exist then; he remained unburied +for five days, when the bird in its dilemma decided, for want of +a better place, to entomb its father in its own head. + +EUELPIDES +So that the lark's father is buried at Cephalae.[1] + +f[1] A deme of Attica. In Greek the word also means 'heads,' +and hence the pun. + +EPOPS +Hence, if we existed before the Earth, before the gods, +the kingship belongs to us by right of priority. + +EUELPIDES +Undoubtedly, but sharpen your beak well; Zeus won't be in a hurry +to hand over his sceptre to the woodpecker. + +PISTHETAERUS +It was not the gods, but the birds, who were formerly the masters +and kings over men; of this I have a thousand proofs. First of all, +I will point you to the cock, who governed the Persians before +all other monarchs, before Darius and Megabyzus.[1] 'Tis in memory +of his reign that he is called the Persian bird. + +f[1] One of Darius' best generals. After his expedition against +the Scythians, this prince gave him the command of the army which he +left in Europe. Megabyzus took Perinthos (afterwards called Heraclea) +and conquered Thrace. + +EUELPIDES +For this reason also, even to-day, he alone of all the birds wears +his tiara straight on his head, like the Great King.[1] + +f[1] All Persians wore the tiara, but always on one side; the Great King +alone wore it straight on his head. + +PISTHETAERUS +He was so strong, so great, so feared, that even now, on account +of his ancient power, everyone jumps out of bed as soon as ever he +crows at daybreak. Blacksmiths, potters, tanners, shoemakers, bathmen, +corn-dealers, lyre-makers and armourers, all put on their shoes and +go to work before it is daylight. + +EUELPIDES +I can tell you something about that. 'Twas the cock's fault +that I lost a splendid tunic of Phrygian wool. I was at a feast +in town, given to celebrate the birth of a child; I had drunk pretty +freely and had just fallen asleep, when a cock, I suppose in a greater +hurry than the rest, began to crow. I thought it was dawn and set +out for Alimos.[1] I had hardly got beyond the walls, when a footpad +struck me in the back with his bludgeon; down I went and wanted +to shout, but he had already made off with my mantle. + +f[1] Noted as the birthplace of Thucydides, a deme of Attica of +the tribe of Leontis. Demosthenes tells us it was thirty-five stadia +from Athens. + +PISTHETAERUS +Formerly also the kite was ruler and king over the Greeks. + +EPOPS +The Greeks? + +PISTHETAERUS +And when he was king, 'twas he who first taught them to fall +on their knees before the kites.[1] + +f[1] The appearance of the kite in Greece betokened the return of +springtime; it was therefore worshipped as a symbol of that season. + +EUELPIDES +By Zeus! 'tis what I did myself one day on seeing a kite; but +at the moment I was on my knees, and leaning backwards[1] with mouth +agape, I bolted an obolus and was forced to carry my bag home empty.[2] + +f[1] To look at the kite, who no doubt was flying high in the sky. +f[2] As already shown, the Athenians were addicted to carrying small +coins in their mouths. --This obolus was for the purpose of buying flour +to fill the bag he was carrying + +PISTHETAERUS +The cuckoo was king of Egypt and of the whole of Phoenicia. When +he called out "cuckoo," all the Phoenicians hurried to the fields to +reap their wheat and their barley.[1] + +f[1] In Phoenicia and Egypt the cuckoo makes its appearance about +harvest-time. + +EUELPIDES +Hence no doubt the proverb, "Cuckoo! cuckoo! go to the fields, +ye circumcised."[1] + +f[1] This was an Egyptian proverb, meaning, 'When the cuckoo sings we +go harvesting.' Both the Phoenicians and the Egyptians practised +circumcision. + +PISTHETAERUS +So powerful were the birds that the kings of Grecian cities, +Agamemnon, Menelaus, for instance, carried a bird on the tip of +their sceptres, who had his share of all presents.[1] + +f[1] The staff, called a sceptre, generally terminated in a piece +of carved work, representing a flower, a fruit, and most often a bird. + +EUELPIDES +That I didn't know and was much astonished when I saw Priam come +upon the stage in the tragedies with a bird, which kept watching +Lysicrates[1] to see if he got any present. + +f[1] A general accused of treachery. The bird watches Lysicrates, +because, according to Pisthetaerus, he had a right to a share +of the presents. + +PISTHETAERUS +But the strongest proof of all is, that Zeus, who now reigns, is +represented as standing with an eagle on his head as a symbol of his +royalty;[1] his daughter has an owl, and Phoebus, as his servant, has a +hawk. + +f[1] It is thus that Phidias represents his Olympian Zeus. + +EUELPIDES +By Demeter, 'tis well spoken. But what are all these birds doing +in heaven? + +PISTHETAERUS +When anyone sacrifices and, according to the rite, offers the entrails +to the gods, these birds take their share before Zeus. Formerly men always +swore by the birds and never by the gods; even now Lampon[1] swears +by the goose, +when he wants to lie....Thus 'tis clear that you were great and +sacred, but now you +are looked upon as slaves, as fools, as Helots; stones are thrown +at you as at raving madmen, even in holy places. A crowd of +bird-catchers sets snares, traps, limed-twigs and nets of all sorts +for you; you are caught, you are sold in heaps and the buyers finger +you over to be certain you are fat. Again, if they would but serve you +up simply roasted; but they rasp cheese into a mixture of oil, vinegar +and laserwort, to which another sweet and greasy sauce is added, +and the whole is poured scalding hot over your back, for all the world +as if you were diseased meat. + +f[1] One of the diviners sent to Sybaris (in Magna Graecia, S. Italy) +with the Athenian colonists, who rebuilt the town under the new name +of Thurium. + +CHORUS +Man, your words have made my heart bleed; I have groaned over +the treachery of our fathers, who knew not how to transmit to us the +high rank they held from their forefathers. But 'tis a benevolent +Genius, a happy Fate, that sends you to us; you shall be our deliverer +and I place the destiny of my little ones and my own in your hands +with every confidence. But hasten to tell me what must be done; +we should not be worthy to live, if we did not seek to regain +our royalty by every possible means. + +PISTHETAERUS +First I advise that the birds gather together in one city and that +they build a wall of great bricks, like that at Babylon, round the +plains of the air and the whole region of space that divides earth +from heaven. + +EPOPS +Oh, Cebriones! oh, Porphyrion![1] what a terribly strong place! + +f[1] As if he were saying, "Oh, gods!" Like Lampon, he swears by the birds, +instead of swearing by the gods. --The names of these birds are those of two +of the Titans. + +PISTHETAERUS +Th[en], this being well done and completed, you demand +back the empire from Zeus; if he will not agree, if he refuses and +does not at once confess himself beaten, you declare a sacred war +against him and forbid the gods henceforward to pass through your +country with lust, as hitherto, for the purpose of fondling +their Alcmenas, their Alopes, or their Semeles![1] if they try to pass +through, you infibulate them with rings so that they can work no +longer. You send another messenger to mankind, who will proclaim to +them that the birds are kings, that for the future they must first +of all sacrifice to them, and only afterwards to the gods; that it +is fitting to appoint to each deity the bird that has most in common +with it. For instance, are they sacrificing to Aphrodite, let them +at the same time offer barley to the coot; are they immolating a sheep +to Posidon, let them consecrate wheat in honour of the duck;[2] is a +steer being offered to Heracles, let honey-cakes be dedicated to +the gull;[3] is a goat being slain for King Zeus, there is a +King-Bird, the wren,[4] to whom the sacrifice of a male gnat is due +before Zeus himself even. + +f[1] Alcmena, wife of Amphitryon, King of Thebes and mother +of Heracles. --Semele, the daughter of Cadmus and Hermione and mother +of Bacchus; both seduced by Zeus. --Alope, daughter of Cercyon, +a robber, who reigned at Eleusis and was conquered by Perseus. Alope +was honoured with Posidon's caresses; by him she had a son named +Hippothous, at first brought up by shepherds but who afterwards +was restored to the throne of his grandfather by Theseus. +f[2] Because water is the duck's domain, as it is that of Posidon. +f[3] Because the gull, like Heracles, is voracious. +f[4] The Germans still call it 'Zaunkonig' and the French 'roitelet,' +both names thus containing the idea of 'king.' + +EUELPIDES +This notion of an immolated gnat delights me! And now let the great +Zeus thunder! + +EPOPS +But how will mankind recognize us as gods and not as jays? Us, who +have wings and fly? + +PISTHETAERUS +You talk rubbish! Hermes is a god and has wings and flies, and +so do many other gods. First of all, Victory flies with golden +wings, Eros is undoubtedly winged too, and Iris is compared by Homer +to a timorous dove.[1] If men in their blindness do not recognize you +as gods and continue to worship the dwellers in Olympus, then a cloud +of sparrows greedy for corn must descend upon their fields and eat up +all their seeds; we shall see then if Demeter will mete them out +any wheat. + +f[1] The scholiast draws our attention to the fact that Homer says this +of Here and not of Iris (Iliad, V, 778); it is only another proof that +the text of Homer has reached us in a corrupted form, or it may be that +Aristophanes was liable, like other people, to occasional mistakes of +quotation. + +EUELPIDES +By Zeus, she'll take good care she does not, and you will see +her inventing a thousand excuses. + +PISTHETAERUS +The crows too will prove your divinity to them by pecking out +the eyes of their flocks and of their draught-oxen; and then let +Apollo cure them, since he is a physician and is paid for +the purpose.[1] + +f[1] In sacrifices. + +EUELPIDES +Oh! don't do that! Wait first until I have sold my two young bullocks. + +PISTHETAERUS +If on the other hand they recognize that you are God, the principle +of life, that you are Earth, Saturn, Posidon, they shall be loaded +with benefits. + +EPOPS +Name me one of these then. + +PISTHETAERUS +Firstly, the locusts shall not eat up their vine-blossoms; a legion +of owls and kestrels will devour them. Moreover, the gnats +and the gall-bugs shall no longer ravage the figs; a flock +of thrushes shall swallow the whole host down to the very last. + +EPOPS +And how shall we give wealth to mankind? This is their strongest +passion. + +PISTHETAERUS +When they consult the omens, you will point them to the richest +mines, you will reveal the paying ventures to the diviner, and not +another shipwreck will happen or sailor perish. + +EPOPS +No more shall perish? How is that? + +PISTHETAERUS +When the auguries are examined before starting on a voyage, some +bird will not fail to say, "Don't start! there will be a storm," +or else, "Go! you will make a most profitable venture." + +EUELPIDES +I shall buy a trading-vessel and go to sea, I will not stay with +you. + +PISTHETAERUS +You will discover treasures to them, which were buried in former +times, for you know them. Do not all men say, "None knows where my +treasure lies, unless perchance it be some bird."[1] + +f[1] An Athenian proverb. + +EUELPIDES +I shall sell my boat and buy a spade to unearth the vessels. + +EPOPS +And how are we to give them health, which belongs to the gods? + +PISTHETAERUS +If they are happy, is not that the chief thing towards health? +The miserable man is never well. + +EPOPS +Old Age also dwells in Olympus. How will they get at it? Must they +die in early youth? + +PISTHETAERUS +Why, the birds, by Zeus, will add three hundred years to their life. + +EPOPS + From whom will they take them? + +PISTHETAERUS + From whom? Why, from themselves. Don't you know the cawing crow +lives five times as long as a man? + +EUELPIDES +Ah! ah! these are far better kings for us than Zeus! + +PISTHETAERUS +Far better, are they not? And firstly, we shall not have to build +them temples of hewn stone, closed with gates of gold; they will +dwell amongst the bushes and in the thickets of green oak; the most +venerated of birds will have no other temple than the foliage of the +olive tree; we shall not go to Delphi or to Ammon to sacrifice;[1] but +standing erect in the midst of arbutus and wild olives and holding +forth our hands filled with wheat and barley, we shall pray them +to admit us to a share of the blessings they enjoy and shall at once +obtain them for a few grains of wheat. + +f[1] A celebrated temple to Zeus in an oasis of Libya. + +CHORUS +Old man, whom I detested, you are now to me the dearest of all; +never shall I, if I can help it, fail to follow your advice. +Inspirited by your words, I threaten my rivals the gods, and I +swear that if you march in alliance with me against the gods and are +faithful to our just, loyal and sacred bond, we shall soon have +shattered their sceptre. 'Tis our part to undertake the toil, +'tis yours to advise. + +EPOPS +By Zeus! 'tis no longer the time to delay and loiter like +Nicias;[1] let us act as promptly as possible.... In the first place, +come, enter my nest built of brushwood and blades of straw, and tell +me your names. + +f[1] Nicias was commander, along with Demosthenes, and later on +Alcibiades, of the Athenian forces before Syracuse, in the ill-fated +Sicilian Expedition, 415-413 B.C. He was much blamed for dilatoriness +and indecision. + +PISTHETAERUS +That is soon done; my name is Pisthetaerus. + +EPOPS +And his? + +PISTHETAERUS +Euelpides, of the deme of Thria. + +EPOPS +Good! and good luck to you. + +PISTHETAERUS +We accept the omen. + +EPOPS +Come in here. + +PISTHETAERUS +Very well, 'tis you who lead us and must introduce us. + +EPOPS +Come then. + +PISTHETAERUS +Oh! my god! do come back here. Hi! tell us how we are to follow +you. You can fly, but we cannot. + +EPOPS +Well, well. + +PISTHETAERUS +Remember Aesop's fables. It is told there, that the fox fared +very ill, because he had made an alliance with the eagle. + +EPOPS +Be at ease. You shall eat a certain root and wings will grow on +your shoulders. + +PISTHETAERUS +Then let us enter. Xanthias and Manes,[1] pick up our baggage. + +f[1] Servants of Pisthetaerus and Euelpides. + +CHORUS +Hi! Epops! do you hear me? + +EPOPS +What's the matter? + +CHORUS +Take them off to dine well and call your mate, the melodious +Procne, whose songs are worthy of the Muses; she will delight our +leisure moments. + +PISTHETAERUS +Oh! I conjure you, accede to their wish; for this delightful +bird will leave her rushes at the sound of your voice; for the sake of +the gods, let her come here, so that we may contemplate the +nightingale.[1] + +f[1] It has already been mentioned that, according to the legend followed +by Aristophanes, Procne had been changed into a nightingale and Philomela +into a swallow. + +EPOPS +Let is be as you desire. Come forth, Procne, show yourself to these strangers. + +PISTHETAERUS +Oh! great Zeus! what a beautiful little bird! what a dainty +form! what brilliant plumage![1] + +f[1] The actor, representing Procne, was dressed out as a courtesan, but wore +a mask of a bird. + +EUELPIDES +Do you know how dearly I should like to splint her legs for her? + +PISTHETAERUS +She is dazzling all over with gold, like a young girl.[1] + +f[1] Young unmarried girls wore golden ornaments; the apparel of married women +was much simpler. + +EUELPIDES +Oh! how I should like to kiss her! + +PISTHETAERUS +Why, wretched man, she has two little sharp points on her beak! + +EUELPIDES +I would treat her like an egg, the shell of which we remove before +eating it; I would take off her mask and then kiss her pretty face. + +EPOPS +Let us go in. + +PISTHETAERUS +Lead the way, and may success attend us. + +CHORUS +Lovable golden bird, whom I cherish above all others, you, whom +I associate with all my songs, nightingale, you have come, you have +come, to show yourself to me and to charm me with your notes. Come, +you, who play spring melodies upon the harmonious flute,[1] lead off +our anapaests.[2] + +Weak mortals, chained to the earth, creatures of clay as frail +as the foliage of the woods, you unfortunate race, whose life is but +darkness, as unreal as a shadow, the illusion of a dream, hearken +to us, who are immortal beings, ethereal, ever young and occupied +with eternal thoughts, for we shall teach you about all celestial +matters; you shall know thoroughly what is the nature of the birds, +what the origin of the gods, of the rivers, of Erebus, and Chaos; +thanks to us, even Prodicus[3] will envy you your knowledge. + +At the beginning there was only Chaos, Night, dark Erebus, +and deep Tartarus. Earth, the air and heaven had no existence. +Firstly, black-winged Night laid a germless egg in the bosom +of the infinite deeps of Erebus, and from this, after the revolution +of long ages, sprang the graceful Eros with his glittering golden wings, +swift as the whirlwinds of the tempest. He mated in deep Tartarus +with dark Chaos, winged like himself, and thus hatched forth our race, +which was the first to see the light. That of the Immortals did not +exist until Eros had brought together all the ingredients of the world, +and from their marriage Heaven, Ocean, Earth and the imperishable race +of blessed gods sprang into being. Thus our origin is very much +older than that of the dwellers in Olympus. We are the offspring +of Eros; there are a thousand proofs to show it. We have wings and we +lend assistance to lovers. How many handsome youths, who had sworn +to remain insensible, have not been vanquished by our power +and have yielded themselves to their lovers when almost at the end +of their youth, being led away by the gift of a quail, a waterfowl, +a goose, or a cock.[4] + +And what important services do not the birds render to mortals! +First of all, they mark the seasons for them, springtime, winter, +and autumn. Does the screaming crane migrate to Libya, --it warns +the husbandman to sow, the pilot to take his ease beside his tiller hung +up in his dwelling,[5] and Orestes[6] to weave a tunic, so that the +rigorous cold +may not drive him any more to strip other folk. When the kite +reappears, he tells +of the return of spring and of the period when the fleece of the sheep +must be clipped. Is the swallow in sight? All hasten to sell their warm tunic +and to buy some light clothing. We are your Ammon, Delphi, Dodona, +your Phoebus +Apollo.[7] Before undertaking anything, whether a business transaction, +a marriage, or the purchase of food, you consult the birds by reading +the omens, and you give this name of omen[8] to all signs that tell +of the future. With you a word is an omen, you call a sneeze an omen, +a meeting an omen, an unknown sound an omen, a slave or an ass +an omen.[9] Is it not clear that we are a prophetic Apollo to you? +If you recognize us as gods, we shall be your divining Muses, +through us you will know the winds and the seasons, summer, winter, +and the temperate months. We shall not withdraw ourselves +to the highest clouds like Zeus, but shall be among you and shall give +to you and to your children and the children of your children, health +and wealth, long life, peace, youth, laughter, songs and feasts; +in short, you will all be so well off, that you will be weary and +satiated with enjoyment. + +Oh, rustic Muse of such varied note, tio, tio, tio, tiotinx, I sing +with you in the groves and on the mountain tops, tio, tio, tio, tio, +tiotinx.[10] I poured forth sacred strains from my golden throat +in honour of the god Pan,[11] tio, tio, tio, tiotinx, from the top +of the thickly leaved ash, and my voice mingles with the mighty choirs +who extol Cybele on the mountain tops,[12] tototototototototinx. +'Tis to our concerts that Phrynichus comes to pillage like a bee +the ambrosia of his songs, the sweetness of which so charms the ear, +tio, tio, tio, tio, tinx. + +If there be one of you spectators who wishes to spend the rest +of his life quietly among the birds, let him come to us. All that +is disgraceful and forbidden by law on earth is on the contrary +honourable among us, the birds. For instance, among you 'tis a crime +to beat your father, but with us 'tis an estimable deed; it's +considered fine to run straight at your father and hit him, saying, +"Come, lift your spur if you want to fight."[13] The runaway slave, +whom you brand, is only a spotted francolin with us.[14] Are you +Phrygian like Spintharus?[15] Among us you would be the Phrygian bird, +the goldfinch, of the race of Philemon.[16] Are you a slave and +a Carian like Execestides? Among us you can create yourself +fore-fathers;[17] you can always find relations. Does the son of Pisias +want to betray the gates of the city to the foe? Let him become +a partridge, the fitting offspring of his father; among us there is +no shame in escaping as cleverly as a partridge. + +So the swans on the banks of the Hebrus, tio, tio, tio, tio, tiotinx, +mingle their voices to serenade Apollo, tio, tio, tio, tio. tiotinx, +flapping their wings the while, tio, tio, tio, tio, tiotinx; their notes +reach beyond the clouds of heaven; all the dwellers in the forest stand +still with astonishment and delight; a calm rests upon the waters, +and the Graces and the choirs in Olympus catch up the strain, tio, tio, +tio, tio, tiotinx. + +There is nothing more useful nor more pleasant than to have wings. +To begin with, just let us suppose a spectator to be dying with hunger +and to be weary of the choruses of the tragic poets; if he were +winged, he would fly off, go home to dine and come back with his +stomach filled. Some Patroclides in urgent need would not have to +soil his cloak, but could fly off, satisfy his requirements, and, +having recovered his breath, return. If one of you, it matters not who, +had adulterous relations and saw the husband of his mistress +in the seats of the senators, he might stretch his wings, fly thither, +and, having appeased his craving, resume his place. Is it not +the most priceless gift of all, to be winged? Look at Diitrephes![18] +His wings were only wicker-work ones, and yet he got himself chosen +Phylarch and then Hipparch; from being nobody, he has risen +to be famous; 'tis now the finest gilded cock of his tribe.[19] + +f[1] The actor, representing Procne, was a flute-player. +f[2] The parabasis. +f[3] A sophist of the island of Ceos, a disciple of Protagoras, +as celebrated for his knowledge as for his eloquence. The Athenians +condemned him to death as a corrupter of youth in 396 B.C. +f[4] Lovers were wont to make each other presents of birds. The cock +and the goose are mentioned, of course, in jest. +f[5] i.e. that it gave notice of the approach of winter, during which +season the Ancients did not venture to sea. +f[6] A notorious robber. +f[7] Meaning, "We are your oracles." --Dodona was an oracle in Epirus. +--The temple of Zeus there was surrounded by a dense forest, all +the trees of which were endowed with the gift of prophecy; both +the sacred oaks and the pigeons that lived in them answered +the questions of those who came to consult the oracle in pure Greek. +f[8] The Greek word for 'omen' is the same as that for 'bird.' +f[9] A satire on the passion of the Greeks for seeing an omen +in everything. +f[10] An imitation of the nightingale's song. +f[11] God of the groves and wilds. +f[12] The 'Mother of the Gods'; roaming the mountains, she held dances, +always attended by Pan and his accompanying rout of Fauns and Satyrs. +f[13] An allusion to cock-fighting; the birds are armed with brazen spurs. +f[14] An allusion to the spots on this bird, which resemble the scars +left by a branding iron. +f[15] He was of Asiatic origin, but wished to pass for an Athenian. +f[16] Or Philamnon, King of Thrace; the scholiast remarks that +the Phrygians and the Thracians had a common origin. +f[17] The Greek word here is also the name of a little bird. +f[18] A basket-maker who had become rich. --The Phylarchs were the +headmen of the tribes. They presided at the private assemblies +and were charged with the management of the treasury. --The Hipparchs, +as the name implies, were the leaders of the cavalry; there were +only two of these in the Athenian army. +f[19] He had become a senator. + +PISTHETAERUS +Halloa! What's this? By Zeus! I never saw anything so funny in all +my life.[1] + +f[1] Pisthetaerus and Euelpides now both return with wings. + +EUELPIDES +What makes you laugh? + +PISTHETAERUS +'Tis your bits of wings. D'you know what you look like? Like a goose +painted by some dauber-fellow. + +EUELPIDES +And you look like a close-shaven blackbird. + +PISTHETAERUS +'Tis ourselves asked for this transformation, and, as Aeschylus +has it, "These are no borrowed feathers, but truly our own."[1] + +f[1] Meaning, 'tis we who wanted to have these wings. --The verse +from Aeschylus, quoted here, is taken from 'The Myrmidons,' a tragedy +of which only a few fragments remain. + +EPOPS +Come now, what must be done? + +PISTHETAERUS +First give our city a great and famous name, then sacrifice to the gods. + +EUELPIDES +I think so too. + +EPOPS +Let's see. What shall our city be called? + +PISTHETAERUS +Will you have a high-sounding Laconian name? Shall we call it Sparta? + +EUELPIDES +What! call my town Sparta? Why, I would not use esparto for my +bed,[1] even though I had nothing but bands of rushes. + +f[1] The Greek word signified the city of Sparta, and also a kind +of broom used for weaving rough matting, which served for the beds +of the very poor. + +PISTHETAERUS +Well then, what name can you suggest? + +EUELPIDES +Some name borrowed from the clouds, from these lofty regions +in which we dwell--in short, some well-known name. + +PISTHETAERUS +Do you like Nephelococcygia?[1] + +f[1] A fanciful name constructed from [the word for] a cloud, and +[the word for] a cuckoo; thus a city of clouds and cuckoos. +--'Wolkenkukelheim' is a clever approximation in German. +Cloud-cuckoo-town, perhaps, is the best English equivalent. + +EPOPS +Oh! capital! truly 'tis a brilliant thought! + +EUELPIDES +Is it in Nephelococcygia that all the wealth of Theovenes[1] and most +of Aeschines'[2] is? + +f[1] He was a boaster nicknamed 'smoke,' because he promised +a great deal and never kept his word. +f[2] Also mentioned in 'The Wasps.' + +PISTHETAERUS +No, 'tis rather the plain of Phlegra,[1] where the gods withered +the pride of the sons of the Earth with their shafts. + +f[1] Because the war of the Titans against the gods was only a fiction +of the poets. + +EUELPIDES +Oh! what a splendid city! But what god shall be its patron? +for whom shall we weave the peplus?[1] + +f[1] A sacred cloth, with which the statue of Athene in the Acropolis +was draped. + +PISTHETAERUS +Why not choose Athene Polias?[1] + +f[1] Meaning, to be patron-goddess of the city. Athene had a temple +of this name. + +EUELPIDES +Oh! what a well-ordered town 'twould be to have a female deity +armed from head to foot, while Clisthenes[1] was spinning! + +f[1] An Athenian effeminate, frequently ridiculed by Aristophanes. + +PISTHETAERUS +Who then shall guard the Pelargicon?[1] + +f[1] This was the name of the wall surrounding the Acropolis. + +EPOPS +One of us, a bird of Persian strain, who is everywhere proclaimed to be +the bravest of all, a true chick of Ares.[1] + +f[1] i.e. the fighting cock. + +EUELPIDES +Oh! noble chick! What a well-chosen god for a rocky home! + +PISTHETAERUS +Come! into the air with you to help the workers who are building +the wall; carry up rubble, strip yourself to mix the mortar, take up +the hod, tumble down the ladder, an you like, post sentinels, keep +the fire smouldering beneath the ashes, go round the walls, bell +in hand,[1] and go to sleep up there yourself; then d[i]spatch two +heralds, one to the gods above, the other to mankind on earth +and come back here. + +f[1] To waken the sentinels, who might else have fallen asleep. +--There are several merry contradictions in the various parts +of this list of injunctions. + +EUELPIDES +As for yourself, remain here, and may the plague take you for +a troublesome fellow! + +PISTHETAERUS +Go, friend, go where I send you, for without you my orders +cannot be obeyed. For myself, I want to sacrifice to the new god, +and I am going to summon the priest who must preside at the ceremony. +Slaves! slaves! bring forward the basket and the lustral water. + +CHORUS +I do as you do, and I wish as you wish, and I implore you to +address powerful and solemn prayers to the gods, and in addition to +immolate a sheep as a token of our gratitude. Let us sing the +Pythian chant in honour of the god, and let Chaeris accompany our +voices. + +PISTHETAERUS (TO THE FLUTE-PLAYER) +Enough! but, by Heracles! what is this? Great gods! I have seen +many prodigious things, but I never saw a muzzled raven.[1] + +f[1] In allusion to the leather strap which flute-players wore +to constrict the cheeks and add to the power of the breath. +The performer here no doubt wore a raven's mask. + +EPOPS +Priest! 'tis high time! Sacrifice to the new gods. + +PRIEST +I begin, but where is he with the basket? Pray to the Vesta +of the birds, to the kite, who presides over the hearth, and +to all the god and goddess-birds who dwell in Olympus. + +CHORUS +Oh! Hawk, the sacred guardian of Sunium, oh, god of the storks! + +PRIEST +Pray to the swan of Delos, to Latona the mother of the quails, and to +Artemis, the goldfinch. + +PISTHETAERUS +'Tis no longer Artemis Colaenis, but Artemis the goldfinch.[1] + +f[1] Hellanicus, the Mitylenian historian, tells that this surname +of Artemis is derived from Colaenus, King of Athens before Cecrops +and a descendant of Hermes. In obedience to an oracle he erected +a temple to the goddess, invoking her as Artemis Colaenis (the Artemis +of Colaenus). + +PRIEST +And to Bacchus, the finch and Cybele, the ostrich and mother +of the gods and mankind. + +CHORUS +Oh! sovereign ostrich, Cybele, The mother of Cleocritus,[1] +grant health and safety to the Nephelococcygians as well as +to the dwellers in Chios... + +f[1] This Cleocritus, says the scholiast, was long-necked and strutted +like an ostrich. + +PISTHETAERUS +The dwellers in Chios! Ah! I am delighted they should be thus +mentioned on all occasions.[1] + +f[1] The Chians were the most faithful allies of Athens, and hence +their name was always mentioned in prayers, decrees, etc. + +CHORUS +...to the heroes, the birds, to the sons of heroes, to +the porphyrion, the pelican, the spoon-bill, the redbreast, the grouse, +the peacock, the horned-owl, the teal, the bittern, the heron, +the stormy petrel, the fig-pecker, the titmouse... + +PISTHETAERUS +Stop! stop! you drive me crazy with your endless list. Why, +wretch, to what sacred feast are you inviting the vultures and +the sea-eagles? Don't you see that a single kite could easily carry off +the lot at once? Begone, you and your fillets and all; I shall know +how to complete the sacrifice by myself. + +PRIEST +It is imperative that I sing another sacred chant for the rite +of the lustral water, and that I invoke the immortals, or at least one +of them, provided always that you have some suitable food to offer +him; from what I see here, in the shape of gifts, there is naught +whatever but horn and hair. + +PISTHETAERUS +Let us address our sacrifices and our prayers to the winged gods. + +A POET +Oh, Muse! celebrate happy Nephelococcygia in your hymns. + +PISTHETAERUS +What have we here? Where did you come from, tell me? Who are you? + +POET +I am he whose language is sweeter than honey, the zealous slave +of the Muses, as Homer has it. + +PISTHETAERUS +You a slave! and yet you wear your hair long? + +POET +No, but the fact is all we poets are the assiduous slaves +of the Muses, according to Homer. + +PISTHETAERUS +In truth your little cloak is quite holy too through zeal! +But, poet, what ill wind drove you here? + +POET +I have composed verses in honour of your Nephelococcygia, a host +of splendid dithyrambs and parthenians[1] worthy of Simonides himself. + +f[1] Verses sung by maidens. + +PISTHETAERUS +And when did you compose them? How long since? + +POET +Oh! 'tis long, aye, very long, that I have sung in honour of this city. + +PISTHETAERUS +But I am only celebrating its foundation with this sacrifice;[1] +I have only just named it, as is done with little babies. + +f[1] This ceremony took place on the tenth day after birth, and +may be styled the pagan baptism. + +POET +"Just as the chargers fly with the speed of the wind, so does +the voice of the Muses take its flight. Oh! thou noble founder of +the town of Aetna,[1] thou, whose name recalls the holy sacrifices,[2] +make us such gift as thy generous heart shall suggest." + +f[1] Hiero, tyrant of Syracuse. --This passage is borrowed from Pindar. +f[2] [Hiero] in Greek means 'sacrifice.' + +PISTHETAERUS +He will drive us silly if we do not get rid of him by some present. +Here! you, who have a fur as well as your tunic, take it off +and give it to this clever poet. Come, take this fur; you look to me +to be shivering with cold. + +POET +My Muse will gladly accept this gift; but engrave these verses +of Pindar's on your mind. + +PISTHETAERUS +Oh! what a pest! 'Tis impossible then to be rid of him! + +POET +"Straton wanders among the Scythian nomads, but has no linen garment. +He is sad at only wearing an animal's pelt and no tunic." +Do you conceive my bent? + +PISTHETAERUS +I understand that you want me to offer you a tunic. Hi! you (TO +EUELPIDES), take off yours; we must help the poet.... Come, you, +take it and begone. + +POET +I am going, and these are the verses that I address to this city: +"Phoebus of the golden throne, celebrate this shivery, +freezing city; I have travelled through fruitful and snow-covered +plains. Tralala! Tralala!"[1] + +f[1] A parody of poetic pathos, not to say bathos. + +PISTHETAERUS +What are you chanting us about frosts? Thanks to the tunic, you no +longer fear them. Ah! by Zeus! I could not have believed this cursed +fellow could so soon have learnt the way to our city. Come, priest, +take the lustral water and circle the altar. + +PRIEST +Let all keep silence! + +A PROPHET +Let not the goat be sacrificed.[1] + +F[1] Which the priest was preparing to sacrifice. + +PISTHETAERUS +Who are you? + +PROPHET +Who am I? A prophet. + +PISTHETAERUS +Get you gone. + +PROPHET +Wretched man, insult not sacred things. For there is an oracle +of Bacis, which exactly applies to Nephelococcygia. + +PISTHETAERUS +Why did you not reveal it to me before I founded my city? + +PROPHET +The divine spirit was against it. + +PISTHETAERUS +Well, 'tis best to know the terms of the oracle. + +PROPHET +"But when the wolves and the white crows shall dwell together +between Corinth and Sicyon..." + +PISTHETAERUS +But how do the Corinthians concern me? + +PROPHET +'Tis the regions of the air that Bacis indicated in this manner. +"They must first sacrifice a white-fleeced goat to Pandora, and give +the prophet, who first reveals my words, a good cloak and new sandals." + +PISTHETAERUS +Are the sandals there? + +PROPHET +Read. "And besides this a goblet of wine and a good share +of the entrails of the victim." + +PISTHETAERUS +Of the entrails--is it so written? + +PROPHET +Read. "If you do as I command, divine youth, you shall be an eagle +among the clouds; if not, you shall be neither turtle-dove, nor eagle, +nor woodpecker." + +PISTHETAERUS +Is all that there? + +PROPHET +Read. + +PISTHETAERUS +This oracle in no sort of way resembles the one Apollo dictated +to me: "If an impostor comes without invitation to annoy you during +the sacrifice and to demand a share of the victim, apply a stout stick +to his ribs." + +PROPHET +You are drivelling. + +PISTHETAERUS +"And don't spare him, were he an eagle from out of the clouds, +were it Lampon[1] himself or the great Diopithes."[2] + +f[1] Noted Athenian diviner, who, when the power was still shared +between Thucydides and Pericles, predicted that it would soon be +centred in the hands of the latter; his ground for this prophecy was +the sight of a ram with a single horn. +f[2] No doubt another Athenian diviner, and possibly the same person whom +Aristophanes names in 'The Knights' and 'The Wasps' as being a thief. + +PROPHET +Is all that there? + +PISTHETAERUS +Here, read it yourself, and go and hang yourself. + +PROPHET +Oh! unfortunate wretch that I am. + +PISTHETAERUS +Away with you, and take your prophecies elsewhere. + +METON[1] +I have come to you. + +f[1] A celebrated geometrician and astronomer. + +PISTHETAERUS +Yet another pest! What have you come to do? What's your plan? +What's the purpose of your journey? Why these splendid buskins? + +METON +I want to survey the plains of the air for you and to parcel +them into lots. + +PISTHETAERUS +In the name of the gods, who are you? + +METON +Who am I? Meton, known throughout Greece and at Colonus.[1] + +f[1] A deme contiguous to Athens. It is as though he said, "Well known +throughout all England and at Croydon. + +PISTHETAERUS +What are these things? + +METON +Tools for measuring the air. In truth, the spaces in the air +have precisely the form of a furnace. With this bent ruler I draw +a line from top to bottom; from one of its points I describe a circle +with the compass. Do you understand? + +PISTHETAERUS +Not the very least. + +METON +With the straight ruler I set to work to inscribe a square +within this circle; in its centre will be the market-place, into which +all the straight streets will lead, converging to this centre like +a star, which, although only orbicular, sends forth its rays +in a straight line from all sides. + +PISTHETAERUS +Meton, you new Thales...[1] + +f[1] Thales was no less famous as a geometrician than he was as a sage. + +METON +What d'you want with me? + +PISTHETAERUS +I want to give you a proof of my friendship. Use your legs. + +METON +Why, what have I to fear? + +PISTHETAERUS +'Tis the same here as in Sparta. Strangers are driven away, +and blows rain down as thick as hail. + +METON +Is there sedition in your city? + +PISTHETAERUS +No, certainly not. + +METON +What's wrong then? + +PISTHETAERUS +We are agreed to sweep all quacks and impostors far from our borders. + +METON +Then I'm off. + +PISTHETAERUS +I fear 'tis too late. The thunder growls already. (BEATS HIM.) + +METON +Oh, woe! oh, woe! + +PISTHETAERUS +I warned you. Now, be off, and do your surveying somewhere else. +(METON TAKES TO HIS HEELS.) + +AN INSPECTOR +Where are the Proxeni?[1] + +f[1] Officers of Athens, whose duty was to protect strangers who came +on political or other business, and see to their interests generally. + +PISTHETAERUS +Who is this Sardanapalus?[1] + +f[1] He addresses the inspector thus because of the royal +and magnificent manners he assumes. + +INSPECTOR +I have been appointed by lot to come to Nephelococcygia. +as inspector.[1] + +f[1] Magistrates appointed to inspect the tributary towns. + +PISTHETAERUS +An inspector! and who sends you here, you rascal? + +INSPECTOR +A decree of T[e]leas.[1] + +f[1] A much-despised citizen, already mentioned. He ironically +supposes him invested with the powers of an Archon, which ordinarily +were entrusted only to men of good repute. + +PISTHETAERUS +Will you just pocket your salary, do nothing, and be off? + +INSPECTOR +I' faith! that I will; I am urgently needed to be at Athens to attend +the assembly; for I am charged with the interests of Pharnaces.[1] + +f[1] A Persian satrap. --An allusion to certain orators, who, bribed +with Asiatic gold, had often defended the interests of the foe +in the Public Assembly. + +PISTHETAERUS +Take it then, and be off. See, here is your salary. (BEATS HIM.) + +INSPECTOR +What does this mean? + +PISTHETAERUS +'Tis the assembly where you have to defend Pharnaces. + +INSPECTOR +You shall testify that they dare to strike me, the inspector. + +PISTHETAERUS +Are you not going to clear out with your urns? 'Tis not to be +believed; they send us inspectors before we have so much as paid +sacrifice to the gods. + +A DEALER IN DECREES +"If the Nephelococcygian does wrong to the Athenian..." + +PISTHETAERUS +Now whatever are these cursed parchments? + +DEALER IN DECREES +I am a dealer in decrees, and I have come here to sell you +the new laws. + +PISTHETAERUS +Which? + +DEALER IN DECREES +"The Nephelococcygians shall adopt the same weights, measures +and decrees as the Olophyxians."[1] + +f[1] A Macedonian people in the peninsula of Chalcidice. This name +is chosen because of its similarity to the Greek word [for] 'to groan.' +It is from another verb, meaning the same thing, that Pisthetaerus coins +the name of Ototyxians, i.e. groaners, because he is about to beat +the dealer. --The mother-country had the right to impose any law +it chose upon its colonies. + +PISTHETAERUS +And you shall soon be imitating the Ototyxians. (BEATS HIM.) + +DEALER IN DECREES +Hullo! what are you doing? + +PISTHETAERUS +Now will you be off with your decrees? For I am going to let YOU +see some severe ones. + +INSPECTOR (RETURNING) +I summon Pisthetaerus for outrage for the month of Munychion.[1] + +f[1] Corresponding to our month of April. + +PISTHETAERUS +Ha! my friend! are you still there? + +DEALER IN DECREES +"Should anyone drive away the magistrates and not receive them, +according to the decree duly posted..." + +PISTHETAERUS +What! rascal! you are there too? + +INSPECTOR +Woe to you! I'll have you condemned to a fine of ten thousand +drachmae. + +PISTHETAERUS +And I'll smash your urns.[1] + +f[1] Which the inspector had brought with him for the purpose +of inaugurating the assemblies of the people or some tribunal. + +INSPECTOR +Do you recall that evening when you stooled against the column where +the decrees are posted? + +PISTHETAERUS +Here! here! let him be seized. (THE INSPECTOR RUNS OFF.) Well! +don't you want to stop any longer? + +PRIEST +Let us get indoors as quick as possible; we will sacrifice the goat +inside.[1] + +f[1] So that the sacrifices might no longer be interrupted. + +CHORUS +Henceforth it is to me that mortals must address their +sacrifices and their prayers. Nothing escapes my sight nor my might. +My glance embraces the universe, I preserve the fruit in the flower +by destroying the thousand kinds of voracious insects the soil +produces, which attack the trees and feed on the germ when it has +scarcely formed in the calyx; I destroy those who ravage the balmy +terrace gardens like a deadly plague; all these gnawing crawling +creatures perish beneath the lash of my wing. I hear it proclaimed +everywhere: "A talent for him who shall kill Diagoras of Melos,[1] +and a talent for him who destroys one of the dead tyrants."[2] +We likewise wish to make our proclamation: "A talent to him among you +who shall kill Philocrates, the Struthian;[3] four, if he +brings him to us alive. For this Philocrates skewers the finches +together and sells them at the rate of an obolus for seven. He +tortures the thrushes by blowing them out, so that they may look +bigger, sticks their own feathers into the nostrils of blackbirds, and +collects pigeons, which he shuts up and forces them, fastened in a +net, to decoy others." That is what we wish to proclaim. And if anyone +is keeping birds shut up in his yard, let him hasten to let them +loose; those who disobey shall be seized by the birds and we shall put +them in chains, so that in their turn they may decoy other men. + +Happy indeed is the race of winged birds who need no cloak in winter! +Neither do I fear the relentless rays of the fiery dog-days; +when the divine grasshopper, intoxicated with the sunlight, when noon +is burning the ground, is breaking out into shrill melody; my home +is beneath the foliage in the flowery meadows. I winter in deep +caverns, where I frolic with the mountain nymphs, while in spring +I despoil the gardens of the Graces and gather the white, virgin berry +on the myrtle bushes. + +I want now to speak to the judges about the prize they are going +to award; if they are favourable to us, we will load them with +benefits far greater than those Paris[4] received. Firstly, the owls +of Laurium,[5] which every judge desires above all things, shall never +be wanting to you; you shall see them homing with you, building their +nests in your money-bags and laying coins. Besides, you shall be +housed like the gods, for we shall erect gables[6] over your dwellings; +if you hold some public post and want to do a little pilfering, +we will give you the sharp claws of a hawk. Are you dining in town, +we will provide you with crops.[7] But, if your award is against us, +don't fail to have metal covers fashioned for yourselves, like those +they place over statues;[8] else, look out! for the day you wear +a white tunic all the birds will soil it with their droppings. + +f[1] A disciple of Democrites; he passed over from superstition +to atheism. The injustice and perversity of mankind led him to deny +the existence of the gods, to lay bare the mysteries and to break +the idols. The Athenians had put a price on his head, so he left Greece +and perished soon afterwards in a storm at sea. +f[2] By this jest Aristophanes means to imply that tyranny is dead, and +that no one aspires to despotic power, though this silly accusation +was constantly being raised by the demagogues and always favourably +received by the populace. +f[3] A poulterer. --Strouthian, used in joke to designate him, as if +from the name of his 'deme,' is derived from [the Greek for] 'a sparrow.' +The birds' foe is thus grotesquely furnished with an ornithological +surname. +f[4] From Aphrodite (Venus), to whom he had awarded the apple, prize +of beauty, in the contest of the "goddesses three." +f[5] Laurium was an Athenian deme at the extremity of the Attic +peninsula containing valuable silver mines, the revenues of which +were largely employed in the maintenance of the fleet and payment +of the crews. The "owls of Laurium," of course, mean pieces of money; +the Athenian coinage was stamped with a representation of an owl, +the bird of Athene. +f[6] A pun, impossible to keep in English, on the two meanings +of [the Greek] word which signifies both an eagle and the gable +of a house or pediment of a temple. +f[7] That is, birds' crops, into which they could stow away plenty +of good things. +f[8] The Ancients appear to have placed metal discs over statues +standing in the open air, to save them from injury from the weather, etc. + +PISTHETAERUS +Birds! the sacrifice is propitious. But I see no messenger +coming from the wall to tell us what is happening. Ah! here comes +one running himself out of breath as though he were running the Olympic +stadium. + +MESSENGER +Where, where is he? Where, where, where is he? Where, where, where +is he? Where is Pisthetaerus, our leader? + +PISTHETAERUS +Here am I. + +MESSENGER +The wall is finished. + +PISTHETAERUS +That's good news. + +MESSENGER +'Tis a most beautiful, a most magnificent work of art. The wall is +so broad that Proxenides, the Braggartian, and Theogenes could pass +each other in their chariots, even if they were drawn by steeds as big +as the Trojan horse. + +PISTHETAERUS +'Tis wonderful! + +MESSENGER +Its length is one hundred stadia; I measured it myself. + +PISTHETAERUS +A decent length, by Posidon! And who built such a wall? + +MESSENGER +Birds--birds only; they had neither Egyptian brickmaker, nor +stone-mason, nor carpenter; the birds did it all themselves; I could +hardly believe my eyes. Thirty thousand cranes came from Libya +with a supply of stones,[1] intended for the foundations. The water- +rails chiselled them with their beaks. Ten thousand storks were busy +making bricks; plovers and other water fowl carried water +into the air. + +f[1] So as not to be carried away by the wind when crossing the sea, +cranes are popularly supposed to ballast themselves with stones, +which they carry in their beaks. + +PISTHETAERUS +And who carried the mortar? + +MESSENGER +Herons, in hods. + +PISTHETAERUS +But how could they put the mortar into hods? + +MESSENGER +Oh! 'twas a truly clever invention; the geese used their feet +like spades; they buried them in the pile of mortar and then emptied +them into the hods. + +PISTHETAERUS +Ah! to what use cannot feet be put?[1] + +f[1] Pisthetaerus modifies the Greek proverbial saying, "To what use +cannot hands be put?" + +MESSENGER +You should have seen how eagerly the ducks carried bricks. To +complete the tale, the swallows came flying to the work, their beaks +full of mortar and their trowel on their back, just the way little +children are carried. + +PISTHETAERUS +Who would want paid servants after this? But tell me, who did +the woodwork? + +MESSENGER +Birds again, and clever carpenters too, the pelicans, for they +squared up the gates with their beaks in such a fashion that one would +have thought they were using axes; the noise was just like a dockyard. +Now the whole wall is tight everywhere, securely bolted and well +guarded; it is patrolled, bell in hand; the sentinels stand everywhere +and beacons burn on the towers. But I must run off to clean myself; +the rest is your business. + +CHORUS +Well! what do you say to it? Are you not astonished at the wall +being completed so quickly? + +PISTHETAERUS +By the gods, yes, and with good reason. 'Tis really not to be +believed. But here comes another messenger from the wall to bring us +some further news! What a fighting look he has! + +SECOND MESSENGER +Oh! oh! oh! oh! oh! oh! + +PISTHETAERUS +What's the matter? + +SECOND MESSENGER +A horrible outrage has occurred; a god sent by Zeus has passed +through our gates and has penetrated the realms of the air without +the knowledge of the jays, who are on guard in the daytime. + +PISTHETAERUS +'Tis an unworthy and criminal deed. What god was it? + +SECOND MESSENGER +We don't know that. All we know is, that he has got wings. + +PISTHETAERUS +Why were not guards sent against him at once? + +SECOND MESSENGER +We have d[i]spatched thirty thousand hawks of the legion of Mounted +Archers.[1] All the hook-clawed birds are moving against him, the +kestrel, the buzzard, the vulture, the great-horned owl; they cleave +the air, so that it resounds with the flapping of their wings; they are +looking everywhere for the god, who cannot be far away; indeed, if I +mistake not, he is coming from yonder side. + +f[1] A corps of Athenian cavalry was so named. + +PISTHETAERUS +All arm themselves with slings and bows! This way, all our soldiers; +shoot and strike! Some one give me a sling! + +CHORUS +War, a terrible war is breaking out between us and the gods! Come, +let each one guard Air, the son of Erebus,[1] in which the clouds +float. Take care no immortal enters it without your knowledge. +Scan all sides with your glance. Hark! methinks I can hear the +rustle of the swift wings of a god from heaven. + +f[1] Chaos, Night, Tartarus, and Erebus alone existed in the beginning; +Eros was born from Night and Erebus, and he wedded Chaos and begot +Earth, Air, and Heaven; so runs the fable. + +PISTHETAERUS +Hi! you woman! where are you flying to? Halt, don't stir! keep +motionless! not a beat of your wing! --Who are you and from what +country? You must say whence you come.[1] + +f[1] Iris appears from the top of the stage and arrests her flight +in mid-career. + +IRIS +I come from the abode of the Olympian gods. + +PISTHETAERUS +What's your name, ship or cap?[1] + +f[1] Ship, because of her wings, which resemble oars; cap, because she +no doubt wore the head-dress (as a messenger of the gods) with which +Hermes is generally depicted. + +IRIS +I am swift Iris. + +PISTHETAERUS +Paralus or Salaminia?[1] + +f[1] The names of the two sacred galleys which carried Athenian +officials on State business. + +IRIS +What do you mean? + +PISTHETAERUS +Let a buzzard rush at her and seize her.[1] + +f[1] A buzzard is named in order to raise a laugh, the Greek name also +meaning, etymologically, provided with three testicles, vigorous +in love. + +IRIS +Seize me! But what do all these insults mean? + +PISTHETAERUS +Woe to you! + +IRIS +'Tis incomprehensible. + +PISTHETAERUS +By which gate did you pass through the wall, wretched woman? + +IRIS +By which gate? Why, great gods, I don't know. + +PISTHETAERUS +You hear how she holds us in derision. Did you present yourself +to the officers in command of the jays? You don't answer. Have you +a permit, bearing the seal of the storks? + +IRIS +Am I awake? + +PISTHETAERUS +Did you get one? + +IRIS +Are you mad? + +PISTHETAERUS +No head-bird gave you a safe-conduct? + +IRIS +A safe-conduct to me, you poor fool! + +PISTHETAERUS +Ah! and so you slipped into this city on the sly and into these +realms of air-land that don't belong to you. + +IRIS +And what other roads can the gods travel? + +PISTHETAERUS +By Zeus! I know nothing about that, not I. But they won't pass +this way. And you still dare to complain! Why, if you were treated +according to your deserts, no Iris would ever have more justly +suffered death. + +IRIS +I am immortal. + +PISTHETAERUS +You would have died nevertheless. --Oh! 'twould be truly +intolerable! What! should the universe obey us and the gods alone +continue their insolence and not understand that they must submit +to the law of the strongest in their due turn? But tell me, where +are you flying to? + +IRIS +I? The messenger of Zeus to mankind, I am going to tell them to +sacrifice sheep and oxen on the altars and to fill their streets +with the rich smoke of burning fat. + +PISTHETAERUS +Of which gods are you speaking? + +IRIS +Of which? Why, of ourselves, the gods of heaven. + +PISTHETAERUS +You, gods? + +IRIS +Are there others then? + +PISTHETAERUS +Men now adore the birds as gods, and 'tis to them, by Zeus, that +they must offer sacrifices, and not to Zeus at all! + +IRIS +Oh! fool! fool! Rouse not the wrath of the gods, for 'tis +terrible indeed. Armed with the brand of Zeus, Justice would +annihilate your race; the lightning would strike you as it did +Licymnius and consume both your body and the porticos of your palace.[1] + +f[1] Iris' reply is a parody of the tragic style. --'Lycimnius' +is, according to the scholiast, the title of a tragedy by Euripides, +which is about a ship that is struck by lightning. + +PISTHETAERUS +Here! that's enough tall talk. Just you listen and keep quiet! +Do you take me for a Lydian or a Phrygian[1] and think to frighten me +with your big words? Know, that if Zeus worries me again, I shall go +at the head of my eagles, who are armed with lightning, and reduce his +dwelling and that of Amphion to cinders.[2] I shall send more than six +hundred porphyrions clothed in leopards' skins[3] up to heaven against +him; and formerly a single Porphyrion gave him enough to do. As for +you, his messenger, if you annoy me, I shall begin by stretching your +legs asunder, and so conduct myself, Iris though you be, that despite +my age, you will be astonished. I will show you something that will +make you three times over. + +f[1] i.e. for a poltroon, like the slaves, most of whom came to Athens +from these countries. +f[2] A parody of a passage in the lost tragedy of 'Niobe' of Aeschylus. +f[3] Because this bird has a spotted plumage. --Porphyrion is also +the name of one of the Titans who tried to storm heave. + +IRIS +May you perish, you wretch, you and your infamous words! + +PISTHETAERUS +Won't you be off quickly? Come, stretch your wings or look out for squalls! + +IRIS +If my father does not punish you for your insults... + +PISTHETAERUS +Ha!... but just you be off elsewhere to roast younger folk than us +with your lightning. + +CHORUS +We forbid the gods, the sons of Zeus, to pass through our city and +the mortals to send them the smoke of their sacrifices by this road. + +PISTHETAERUS +'Tis odd that the messenger we sent to the mortals has never +returned. + +HERALD +Oh! blessed Pisthetaerus, very wise, very illustrious, very +gracious, thrice happy, very... Come, prompt me, somebody, do. + +PISTHETAERUS +Get to your story! + +HERALD +All peoples are filled with admiration for your wisdom, and they +award you this golden crown. + +PISTHETAERUS +I accept it. But tell me, why do the people admire me? + +HERALD +Oh you, who have founded so illustrious a city in the air, you +know not in what esteem men hold you and how many there are who burn +with desire to dwell in it. Before your city was built, all men had +a mania for Sparta; long hair and fasting were held in honour, men +went dirty like Socrates and carried staves. Now all is changed. +Firstly, as soon as 'tis dawn, they all spring out of bed together +to go and seek their food, the same as you do; then they fly off +towards the notices and finally devour the decrees. The bird-madness +is so clear, that many actually bear the names of birds. There is +a halting victualler, who styles himself the partridge; Menippus calls +himself the swallow; Opuntius the one-eyed crow; Philocles the lark; +Theogenes the fox-goose; Lycurgus the ibis; Chaerephon the bat; +Syracosius the magpie; Midias the quail;[1] indeed he looks like +a quail that has been hit hard over the head. Out of love for the birds +they repeat all the songs which concern the swallow, the teal, the +goose or the pigeon; in each verse you see wings, or at all events +a few feathers. This is what is happening down there. Finally, +there are more than ten thousand folk who are coming here from earth +to ask you for feathers and hooked claws; so, mind you supply yourself +with wings for the immigrants. + +f[1] All these surnames bore some relation to the character or the build +of the individual to whom the poet applies them. --Chaerephon, +Socrates' disciple, +was of white and ashen hue. --Opuntius was one-eyed. --Syracosius was +a braggart. +--Midias had a passion for quail-fights, and, besides, resembled that bird +physically. + +PISTHETAERUS +Ah! by Zeus, 'tis not the time for idling. Go as quick as possible +and fill every hamper, every basket you can find with wings. Manes[1] +will bring them to me outside the walls, where I will welcome those +who present themselves. + +f[1] Pisthetaerus' servant, already mentioned. + +CHORUS +This town will soon be inhabited by a crowd of men. + +PISTHETAERUS +If fortune favours us. + +CHORUS +Folk are more and more delighted with it. + +PISTHETAERUS +Come, hurry up and bring them along. + +CHORUS +Will not man find here everything that can please him--wisdom, +love, the divine Graces, the sweet face of gentle peace? + +PISTHETAERUS +Oh! you lazy servant! won't you hurry yourself? + +CHORUS +Let a basket of wings be brought speedily. Come, beat him as I do, +and put some life into him; he is as lazy as an ass. + +PISTHETAERUS +Aye, Manes is a great craven. + +CHORUS +Begin by putting this heap of wings in order; divide them in three +parts according to the birds from whom they came; the singing, the +prophetic[1] and the aquatic birds; then you must take care +to distribute them to the men according to their character. + +f[1] From the inspection of which auguries were taken, e.g. the eagles, +the vultures, the crows. + +PISTHETAERUS (TO MANES) +Oh! by the kestrels! I can keep my hands off you no longer; you +are too slow and lazy altogether. + +A PARRICIDE[1] +Oh! might I but become an eagle, who soars in the skies! Oh! might +I fly above the azure waves of the barren sea![2] + +f[1] Or rather, a young man who contemplated parricide. +f[2] A parody of verses in Sophocles 'Oenomaus.' + +PISTHETAERUS +Ha! 'twould seem the news was true; I hear someone coming who +talks of wings. + +PARRICIDE +Nothing is more charming than to fly; I burn with desire to live +under the same laws as the birds; I am bird-mad and fly +towards you, for I want to live with you and to obey your laws. + +PISTHETAERUS +Which laws? The birds have many laws. + +PARRICIDE +All of them; but the one that pleases me most is, that among the +birds it is considered a fine thing to peck and strangle one's father. + +PISTHETAERUS +Aye, by Zeus! according to us, he who dares to strike his father, while +still a chick, is a brave fellow. + +PARRICIDE +And therefore I want to dwell here, for I want to strangle my +father and inherit his wealth. + +PISTHETAERUS +But we have also an ancient law written in the code of the storks, +which runs thus, "When the stork father has reared his young and has +taught them to fly, the young must in their turn support the father." + +PARRICIDE +'Tis hardly worth while coming all this distance to be compelled +to keep my father! + +PISTHETAERUS +No, no, young friend, since you have come to us with such +willingness, I am going to give you these black wings, as though you +were an orphan bird; furthermore, some good advice, that I received +myself in infancy. Don't strike your father, but take these wings +in one hand and these spurs in the other; imagine you have a +cock's crest on your head and go and mount guard and fight; live +on your pay and respect your father's life. You're a gallant fellow! +Very well, then! Fly to Thrace and fight.[1] + +f[1] The Athenians were then besieging Amphipolis in the Thracian Chalcidice. + +PARRICIDE +By Bacchus! 'Tis well spoken; I will follow your counsel. + +PISTHETAERUS +'Tis acting wisely, by Zeus. + +CINESIAS[1] +"On my light pinions I soar off to Olympus; in its capricious +flight my Muse flutters along the thousand paths of poetry in turn..." + +f[1] There was a real Cinesias--a dythyrambic poet born at Thebes. + +PISTHETAERUS +This is a fellow will need a whole shipload of wings. + +CINESIAS (singing) +"...and being fearless and vigorous, it is seeking fresh outlet." + +PISTHETAERUS +Welcome, Cinesias, you lime-wood man![1] Why have you come here +a-twisting your game leg in circles? + +f[1] The scholiast thinks that Cinesias, who was tall and slight +of build, wore a kind of corset of lime-wood to support his waist-- +surely rather a far-fetched interpretation! + +CINESIAS +"I want to become a bird, a tuneful nightingale." + +PISTHETAERUS +Enough of that sort of ditty. Tell me what you want. + +CINESIAS +Give me wings and I will fly into the topmost airs to gather fresh +songs in the clouds, in the midst of the vapours and the fleecy snow. + +PISTHETAERUS +Gather songs in the clouds? + +CINESIAS +'Tis on them the whole of our latter-day art depends. The most +brilliant dithyrambs are those that flap their wings in void space +and are clothed in mist and dense obscurity. To appreciate this, +just listen. + +PISTHETAERUS +Oh! no, no, no! + +CINESIAS +By Hermes! but indeed you shall. "I shall travel through thine +ethereal empire like a winged bird, who cleaveth space with his +long neck..." + +PISTHETAERUS +Stop! easy all, I say![1] + +f[1] The Greek word used here was the word of command employed +to stop the rowers. + +CINESIAS +"...as I soar over the seas, carried by the breath of the +winds..." + +PISTHETAERUS +By Zeus! but I'll cut your breath short. + +CINESIAS +"...now rushing along the tracks of Notus, now nearing Boreas +across the infinite wastes of the ether." (PISTHETAERUS BEATS HIM.} +Ah! old man, that's a pretty and clever idea truly! + +PISTHETAERUS +What! are you not delighted to be cleaving the air?[1] + +F[1] Cinesias makes a bound each time that Pisthetaerus strikes him. + +CINESIAS +To treat a dithyrambic poet, for whom the tribes dispute with each +other, in this style![1] + +f[1] The tribes of Athens, or rather the rich citizens belonging +to them, were wont on feast-days to give representations of dithyrambic +choruses as well as of tragedies and comedies. + +PISTHETAERUS +Will you stay with us and form a chorus of winged birds as slender +as Leotrophides[1] for the Cecropid tribe? + +f[1] Another dithyrambic poet, a man of extreme leanness. + +CINESIAS +You are making game of me, 'tis clear; but know that I shall +never leave you in peace if I do not have wings wherewith +to traverse the air. + +AN INFORMER +What are these birds with downy feathers, who look so pitiable +to me? Tell me, oh swallow with the long dappled wings.[1] + +f[1] A parody of a hemistich from 'Alcaeus.' --The informer is +dissatisfied at only seeing birds of sombre plumage and poor appearance. +He would have preferred to denounce the rich. + +PISTHETAERUS +Oh! but 'tis a regular invasion that threatens us. Here comes +another of them, humming along. + +INFORMER +Swallow with the long dappled wings, once more I summon you. + +PISTHETAERUS +It's his cloak I believe he's addressing; 'faith, it stands in great +need of the swallows' return.[1] + +f[1] The informer, says the scholiast, was clothed with a ragged cloak, +the tatters of which hung down like wings, in fact, a cloak that could +not protect him from the cold and must have made him long for the +swallows' return, i.e. the spring. + +INFORMER +Where is he who gives out wings to all comers? + +PISTHETAERUS +'Tis I, but you must tell me for what purpose you want them. + +INFORMER +Ask no questions. I want wings, and wings I must have. + +PISTHETAERUS +Do you want to fly straight to Pellene?[1] + +f[1] A town in Achaia, where woollen cloaks were made. + +INFORMER +I? Why, I am an accuser of the islands,[1] an informer... + +f[1] His trade was to accuse the rich citizens of the subject islands, +and drag them before the Athenian court; he explains later the special +advantages of this branch of the informer's business. + +PISTHETAERUS +A fine trade, truly! + +INFORMER +...a hatcher of lawsuits. Hence I have great need of wings +to prowl round the cities and drag them before justice. + +PISTHETAERUS +Would you do this better if you had wings? + +INFORMER +No, but I should no longer fear the pirates; I should return +with the cranes, loaded with a supply of lawsuits by way of ballast. + +PISTHETAERUS +So it seems, despite all your youthful vigour, you make it your +trade to denounce strangers? + +INFORMER +Well, and why not? I don't know how to dig. + +PISTHETAERUS +But, by Zeus! there are honest ways of gaining a living at your age +without all this infamous trickery. + +INFORMER +My friend, I am asking you for wings, not for words. + +PISTHETAERUS +'Tis just my words that give you wings. + +INFORMER +And how can you give a man wings with your words? + +PISTHETAERUS +'Tis thus that all first start. + +INFORMER +All? + +PISTHETAERUS +Have you not often heard the father say to young men in the +barbers' shops, "It's astonishing how Diitrephes' advice has made +my son fly to horse-riding." --"Mine," says another, "has flown +towards tragic poetry on the wings of his imagination." + +INFORMER +So that words give wings? + +PISTHETAERUS +Undoubtedly; words give wings to the mind and make a man soar +to heaven. Thus I hope that my wise words will give you wings to fly +to some less degrading trade. + +INFORMER +But I do not want to. + +PISTHETAERUS +What do you reckon on doing then? + +INFORMER +I won't belie my breeding; from generation to generation we have +lived by informing. Quick, therefore, give me quickly some light, +swift hawk or kestrel wings, so that I may summon the islanders, +sustain the accusation here, and haste back there again on flying +pinions. + +PISTHETAERUS +I see. In this way the stranger will be condemned even before +he appears. + +INFORMER +That's just it. + +PISTHETAERUS +And while he is on his way here by sea, you will be flying +to the islands to despoil him of his property. + +INFORMER +You've hit it, precisely; I must whirl hither and thither like +a perfect humming-top. + +PISTHETAERUS +I catch the idea. Wait, i' faith, I've got some fine Corcyraean +wings.[1] How do you like them? + +f[1] That is, whips--Corcyra being famous for these articles. + +INFORMER +Oh! woe is me! Why, 'tis a whip! + +PISTHETAERUS +No, no; these are the wings, I tell you, that set the top a-spinning. + +INFORMER +Oh! oh! oh! + +PISTHETAERUS +Take your flight, clear off, you miserable cur, or you will soon +see what comes of quibbling and lying. Come, let us gather up our wings +and withdraw. + +CHORUS +In my ethereal flights I have seen many things new and strange and +wondrous beyond belief. There is a tree called Cleonymus belonging +to an unknown species; it has no heart, is good for nothing and is +as tall as it is cowardly. In springtime it shoots forth calumnies +instead of buds and in autumn it strews the ground with bucklers in +place of leaves.[1] + +Far away in the regions of darkness, where no ray of light ever +enters, there is a country, where men sit at the table of the heroes +and dwell with them always--save always in the evening. Should any +mortal meet the hero Orestes at night, he would soon be stripped and +covered with blows from head to foot.[2] + +f[1] Cleonymous is a standing butt of Aristophanes' wit, both as an informer +and a notorious poltroon. +f[2] In allusion to the cave of the bandit Orestes; the poet terms him a hero +only because of his heroic name Orestes. + +PROMETHEUS +Ah! by the gods! if only Zeus does not espy me! Where is Pisthetaerus? + +PISTHETAERUS +Ha! what is this? A masked man! + +PROMETHEUS +Can you see any god behind me? + +PISTHETAERUS +No, none. But who are you, pray? + +PROMETHEUS +What's the time, please? + +PISTHETAERUS +The time? Why, it's past noon. Who are you? + +PROMETHEUS +Is it the fall of day? Is it no later than that?[1] + +f[1] Prometheus wants night to come and so reduce the risk +of being seen from Olympus. + +PISTHETAERUS +Oh! 'pon my word! but you grow tiresome. + +PROMETHEUS +What is Zeus doing? Is he dispersing the clouds or gathering them?[1] + +f[1] The clouds would prevent Zeus seeing what was happening below him. + +PISTHETAERUS +Take care, lest I lose all patience. + +PROMETHEUS +Come, I will raise my mask. + +PISTHETAERUS +Ah! my dear Prometheus! + +PROMETHEUS +Stop! stop! speak lower! + +PISTHETAERUS +Why, what's the matter, Prometheus? + +PROMETHEUS +H'sh! h'sh! Don't call me by my name; you will be my ruin, if Zeus +should see me here. But, if you want me to tell you how things are +going in heaven, take this umbrella and shield me, so that the gods +don't see me. + +PISTHETAERUS +I can recognize Prometheus in this cunning trick. Come, quick +then, and fear nothing; speak on. + +PROMETHEUS +Then listen. + +PISTHETAERUS +I am listening, proceed! + +PROMETHEUS +It's all over with Zeus. + +PISTHETAERUS +Ah! and since when, pray? + +PROMETHEUS +Since you founded this city in the air. There is not a man who now +sacrifices to the gods; the smoke of the victims no longer reaches us. +Not the smallest offering comes! We fast as though it were the +festival of Demeter.[1] The barbarian gods, who are dying of hunger, +are bawling like Illyrians[2] and threaten to make an armed descent +upon Zeus, if he does not open markets where joints of the victims +are sold. + +f[1] The third day of the festival of Demeter was a fast. +f[2] A semi-savage people, addicted to violence and brigandage. + +PISTHETAERUS +What! there are other gods besides you, barbarian gods who dwell +above Olympus? + +PROMETHEUS +If there were no barbarian gods, who would be the patron of +Execestides?[1] + +f[1] Who, being reputed a stranger despite his pretension to the title +of a citizen, could only have a strange god for his patron or +tutelary deity. + +PISTHETAERUS +And what is the name of these gods? + +PROMETHEUS +Their name? Why, the Triballi.[1] + +f[1] The Triballi were a Thracian people; it was a term commonly used +in Athens to describe coarse men, obscene debauchees and greedy +parasites. + +PISTHETAERUS +Ah, indeed! 'tis from that no doubt that we derive the word +'tribulation.'[1] + +f[1] There is a similar pun in the Greek. + +PROMETHEUS +Most likely. But one thing I can tell you for certain, namely, +that Zeus and the celestial Triballi are going to send deputies here +to sue for peace. Now don't you treat, unless Zeus restores the sceptre +to the birds and gives you Basileia[1] in marriage. + +f[1] i.e. the 'supremacy' of Greece, the real object of the war. + +PISTHETAERUS +Who is this Basileia? + +PROMETHEUS +A very fine young damsel, who makes the lightning for Zeus; all +things come from her, wisdom, good laws, virtue, the fleet, calumnies, +the public paymaster and the triobolus. + +PISTHETAERUS +Ah! then she is a sort of general manageress to the god. + +PROMETHEUS +Yes, precisely. If he gives you her for your wife, yours will be +the almighty power. That is what I have come to tell you; for you know +my constant and habitual goodwill towards men. + +PISTHETAERUS +Oh, yes! 'tis thanks to you that we roast our meat.[1] + +f[1] Prometheus had stolen the fire from the gods to gratify mankind. + +PROMETHEUS +I hate the gods, as you know. + +PISTHETAERUS +Aye, by Zeus, you have always detested them. + +PROMETHEUS +Towards them I am a veritable Timon;[1] but I must return in all +haste, so give me the umbrella; if Zeus should see me from up there, +he would think I was escorting one of the Canephori.[2] + +f[1] A celebrated misanthrope, contemporary to Aristophanes. Hating +the society of men, he had only a single friend, Apimantus, to whom +he was attached, because of their similarity of character; he also +liked Alcibiades, because he foresaw that this young man would be +the ruin of his country. +f[2] The Canephori were young maidens, chosen from the first families +of the city, who carried baskets wreathed with myrtle at the feast +of Athene, while at those of Bacchus and Demeter they appeared +with gilded baskets. --The daughters of 'Metics,' or resident aliens, +walked behind them, carrying an umbrella and a stool. + +PISTHETAERUS +Wait, take this stool as well. + +CHORUS +Near by the land of the Sciapodes[1] there is a marsh, from the +borders whereof the odious Socrates evokes the souls of men. +Pisander[2] came one day to see his soul, which he had left there when +still alive. He offered a little victim, a camel,[3] slit his throat +and, following the example of Ulysses, stepped one pace backwards.[4] +Then that bat of a Chaerephon[5] came up from hell to drink the camel's +blood. + +f[1] According to Ctesias, the Sciapodes were a people who dwelt +on the borders of the Atlantic. Their feet were larger than the rest +of their bodies, and to shield themselves from the sun's rays they +held up one of their feet as an umbrella. --By giving the Socratic +philosophers the name of Sciapodes here Aristophanes wishes to convey +that they are walking in the dark and busying themselves with +the greatest nonsense. +f[2] This Pisander was a notorious coward; for this reason the poet +jestingly supposes that he had lost his soul, the seat of courage. +f[3] Considering the shape and height of the camel, [it] can certainly +not be included in the list of SMALL victims, e.g. the sheep and +the goat. +f[4] In the evocation of the dead, Book XI of the Odyssey. +f[5] Chaerephon was given this same title by the Herald earlier +in this comedy. --Aristophanes supposes him to have come from hell +because he is lean and pallid. + +POSIDON[1] +This is the city of Nephelococcygia, Cloud-cuckoo-town, whither we come +as ambassadors. (TO TRIBALLUS) Hi! what are you up to? you are +throwing your cloak over the left shoulder. Come, fling it quick over +the right! And why, pray, does it draggle in this fashion? Have you +ulcers to hide like Laespodias?[2] Oh! democracy![3] whither, oh! +whither are you leading us? Is it possible that the gods have chosen +such an envoy? + +f[1] Posidon appears on the stage accompanied by Heracles and +a Triballian god. +f[2] An Athenian general. --Neptune is trying to give Triballus some +notions of elegance and good behaviour. +f[3] Aristophanes supposes that democracy is in the ascendant in Olympus +as it is in Athens. + +TRIBALLUS +Leave me alone. + +POSIDON +Ugh! the cursed savage! you are by far the most barbarous of all +the gods. --Tell me, Heracles, what are we going to do? + +HERACLES +I have already told you that I want to strangle the fellow who has +dared to block us in. + +POSIDON +But, my friend, we are envoys of peace. + +HERACLES +All the more reason why I wish to strangle him. + +PISTHETAERUS +Hand me the cheese-grater; bring me the silphium for sauce; pass +me the cheese and watch the coals.[1] + +f[1] He is addressing his servant, Manes. + +HERACLES +Mortal! we who greet you are three gods. + +PISTHETAERUS +Wait a bit till I have prepared my silphium pickle. + +HERACLES +What are these meats?[1] + +f[1] Heracles softens at sight of the food. --Heracles is the glutton +of the comic poets. + +PISTHETAERUS +These are birds that have been punished with death for attacking +the people's friends. + +HERACLES +And you are seasoning them before answering us? + +PISTHETAERUS +Ah! Heracles! welcome, welcome! What's the matter?[1] + +f[1] He pretends not to have seen them at first, being so much engaged +with his cookery. + +HERACLES +The gods have sent us here as ambassadors to treat for peace. + +A SERVANT +There's no more oil in the flask. + +PISTHETAERUS +And yet the birds must be thoroughly basted with it.[1] + +f[1] He pretends to forget the presence of the ambassadors. + +HERACLES +We have no interest to serve in fighting you; as for you, be +friends and we promise that you shall always have rain-water in your +pools and the warmest of warm weather. So far as these points go we +are armed with plenary authority. + +PISTHETAERUS +We have never been the aggressors, and even now we are as well +disposed for peace as yourselves, provided you agree to one +equitable condition, namely, that Zeus yield his sceptre to the birds. +If only this is agreed to, I invite the ambassadors to dinner. + +HERACLES +That's good enough for me. I vote for peace. + +POSIDON +You wretch! you are nothing but a fool and a glutton. Do you +want to dethrone your own father? + +PISTHETAERUS +What an error! Why, the gods will be much more powerful if the +birds govern the earth. At present the mortals are hidden beneath +the clouds, escape your observation, and commit perjury in your +name; but if you had the birds for your allies, and a man, after +having sworn by the crow and Zeus, should fail to keep his oath, +the crow would dive down upon him unawares and pluck out his eye. + +POSIDON +Well thought of, by Posidon![1] + +f[1] Posidon jestingly swears by himself. + +HERACLES +My notion too. + +PISTHETAERUS (TO THE TRIBALLIAN) +And you, what's your opinion? + +TRIBALLUS +Nabaisatreu.[1] + +f[1] The barbarian god utters some gibberish which Pisthetaerus +interprets into consent. + +PISTHETAERUS +D'you see? he also approves. But hear another thing in which we can +serve you. If a man vows to offer a sacrifice to some god, and then +procrastinates, pretending that the gods can wait, and thus does not +keep his word, we shall punish his stinginess. + +POSIDON +Ah! ah! and how? + +PISTHETAERUS +While he is counting his money or is in the bath, a kite will +relieve him, before he knows it, either in coin or in clothes, of +the value of a couple of sheep, and carry it to the god. + +HERACLES +I vote for restoring them the sceptre. + +POSIDON +Ask the Triballian. + +HERACLES +Hi Triballian, do you want a thrashing? + +TRIBALLUS +Saunaka baktarikrousa. + +HERACLES +He says, "Right willingly." + +POSIDON +If that be the opinion of both of you, why, I consent too. + +HERACLES +Very well! we accord the sceptre. + +PISTHETAERUS +Ah! I was nearly forgetting another condition. I will leave Here +to Zeus, but only if the young Basileia is given me in marriage. + +POSIDON +Then you don't want peace. Let us withdraw. + +PISTHETAERUS +It matters mighty little to me. Cook, look to the gravy. + +HERACLES +What an odd fellow this Posidon is! Where are you off to? Are we +going to war about a woman? + +POSIDON +What else is there to do? + +HERACLES +What else? Why, conclude peace. + +POSIDON +Oh! you ninny! do you always want to be fooled? Why, you are seeking +your own downfall. If Zeus were to die, after having yielded +them the sovereignty, you would be ruined, for you are the heir of all +the wealth he will leave behind. + +PISTHETAERUS +Oh! by the gods! how he is cajoling you. Step aside, that I may +have a word with you. Your uncle is getting the better of you, my poor +friend.[1] The law will not allow you an obolus of the paternal +property, for you are a bastard and not a legitimate child. + +f[1] Heracles, the god of strength, was far from being remarkable +in the way of cleverness. + +HERACLES +I a bastard! What's that you tell me? + +PISTHETAERUS +Why, certainly; are you not born of a stranger woman? Besides, +is not Athene recognized as Zeus' sole heiress? And no daughter +would be that, if she had a legitimate brother. + +HERACLES +But what if my father wished to give me his property on his +death-bed, even though I be a bastard? + +PISTHETAERUS +The law forbids it, and this same Posidon would be the first to +lay claim to his wealth, in virtue of being his legitimate brother. +Listen; thus runs Solon's law: "A bastard shall not inherit, if +there are legitimate children; and if there are no legitimate +children, the property shall pass to the nearest kin."[1] + +f[1] This was Athenian law. + +HERACLES +And I get nothing whatever of the paternal property? + +PISTHETAERUS +Absolutely nothing. But tell me, has your father had you entered +on the registers of his phratria?[1] + +f[1] The poet attributes to the gods the same customs as those +which governed Athens, and according to which no child was +looked upon as legitimate unless his father had entered him +on the registers of his phratria. The phratria was a division +of the tribe and consisted of thirty families. + +HERACLES +No, and I have long been surprised at the omission. + +PISTHETAERUS +What ails you, that you should shake your fist at heaven? Do you want +to fight it? Why, be on my side, I will make you a king and will feed +you on bird's milk and honey. + +HERACLES +Your further condition seems fair to me. I cede you the young +damsel. + +POSIDON +But I, I vote against this opinion. + +PISTHETAERUS +Then it all depends on the Triballian. (TO THE TRIBALLIAN.) What do +you say? + +TRIBALLUS +Big bird give daughter pretty and queen. + +HERACLES +You say that you give her? + +POSIDON +Why no, he does not say anything of the sort, that he gives her; else +I cannot understand any better than the swallows. + +PISTHETAERUS +Exactly so. Does he not say she must be given to the swallows? + +POSIDON +Very well! you two arrange the matter; make peace, since you +wish it so; I'll hold my tongue. + +HERACLES +We are of a mind to grant you all that you ask. But come up +there with us to receive Basileia and the celestial bounty. + +PISTHETAERUS +Here are birds already cut up, and very suitable for a nuptial feast. + +HERACLES +You go and, if you like, I will stay here to roast them. + +PISTHETAERUS +You to roast them! you are too much the glutton; come along with us. + +HERACLES +Ah! how well I would have treated myself! + +PISTHETAERUS +Let some[one] bring me a beautiful and magnificent tunic for the +wedding. + +CHORUS[1] +At Phanae,[2] near the Clepsydra,[3] there dwells a people who have +neither faith nor law, the Englottogastors,[4] who reap, sow, pluck +the vines and the figs[5] with their tongues; they belong to a barbaric +race, and among them the Philippi and the Gorgiases[6] are to be found; +'tis these Englottogastorian Philippi who introduced the custom all over +Attica of cutting out the tongue separately at sacrifices.[7] + +f[1] The chorus continues to tell what it has seen on its flights. +f[2] The harbour of the island of Chios; but this name is here used +in the sense of being the land of informers ([from the Greek for] +'to denounce'). +f[3] i.e. near the orators' platform, in the Public Assembly, or because +there stood the water-clock, by which speeches were limited. +f[4] A coined name, made up of [the Greek for] the tongue, and [for] +the stomach, and meaning those who fill their stomach with what they +gain with their tongues, to wit, the orators. +f[5] [The Greek for] a fig forms part of the word which in Greek means +an informer. +f[6] Both rhetoricians. +f[7] Because they consecrated it specially to the god of eloquence. + +A MESSENGER +Oh, you, whose unbounded happiness I cannot express in words, +thrice happy race of airy birds, receive your king in your fortunate +dwellings. More brilliant than the brightest star that illumes the +earth, he is approaching his glittering golden palace; the sun +itself does not shine with more dazzling glory. He is entering with +his bride at his side,[1] whose beauty no human tongue can express; in +his hand he brandishes the lightning, the winged shaft of Zeus; +perfumes of unspeakable sweetness pervade the ethereal realms. 'Tis +a glorious spectacle to see the clouds of incense wafting in light +whirlwinds before the breath of the Zephyr! But here he is himself. +Divine Muse! let thy sacred lips begin with songs of happy omen. + +f[1] Basileia, whom he brings back from heaven. + +CHORUS +Fall back! to the right! to the left! advance![1] Fly around this +happy mortal, whom Fortune loads with her blessings. Oh! oh! what +grace! what beauty! Oh, marriage so auspicious for our city! All +honour to this man! 'tis through him that the birds are called to such +glorious destinies. Let your nuptial hymns, your nuptial songs, +greet him and his Basileia! 'Twas in the midst of such festivities +that the Fates formerly united Olympian Here to the King who governs +the gods from the summit of his inaccessible throne. Oh! Hymen! oh! +Hymenaeus! Rosy Eros with the golden wings held the reins and guided +the chariot; 'twas he, who presided over the union of Zeus and the +fortunate Here. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus! + +f[1] Terms used in regulating a dance. + +PISTHETAERUS +I am delighted with your songs, I applaud your verses. Now +celebrate the thunder that shakes the earth, the flaming lightning +of Zeus and the terrible flashing thunderbolt. + +CHORUS +Oh, thou golden flash of the lightning! oh, ye divine shafts +of flame, that Zeus has hitherto shot forth! Oh, ye rolling thunders, +that bring down the rain! 'Tis by the order of OUR king that ye +shall now stagger the earth! Oh, Hymen! 'tis through thee that he +commands the universe and that he makes Basileia, whom he has robbed +from Zeus, take her seat at his side. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus! + +PISTHETAERUS +Let all the winged tribes of our fellow-citizens follow the bridal +couple to the palace of Zeus[1] and to the nuptial couch! Stretch forth +your hands, my dear wife! Take hold of me by my wings and let us +dance; I am going to lift you up and carry you through the air. + +f[1] Where Pisthetaerus is henceforth to reign. + +CHORUS +Oh, joy! Io Paean! Tralala! victory is thing, oh, thou greatest of the gods! + + + + + +End of The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Birds +by Aristophanes + |