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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/30159-0.txt b/30159-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e5916c0 --- /dev/null +++ b/30159-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1630 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30159 *** + +[Transcriber's Note: This satire in verse by Daniel Defoe (c. +1659-1731) was first published in 1701 under the title, _The True-Born +Englishman. A Satyr_, and went through numerous editions in Defoe's +lifetime. This e-book was prepared from _The Novels and Miscellaneous +Works of Daniel De Foe_, Volume 5 (London: Henry G. Bohn, 1855), in +which the spelling, punctuation, and capitalization have apparently +been modernized. Obvious printer errors have been corrected. A table +of contents has been added for the reader's convenience.] + + + + +THE + +TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN: + +A + +SATIRE. + + +Statuimus pacem, et securitatem et concordiam judicum et justiciam +inter Anglos et Normannos, Francos et Britanes, Walliæ, et Cornubiæ, +Pictos et Scotos, Albaniæ, similiter inter Francos et insulanos +provincias et patrias, quæ pertinent ad coronam nostram, et inter +omnes nobis subjectos firmiter et inviolabiliter observare. + +Charta Regis Gullielmi Conquisitoris de Pacis Publica, cap. i. + + + + +CONTENTS + + +AN EXPLANATORY PREFACE. + +PREFACE. + +THE INTRODUCTION. + +THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN. + +PART I. + +PART II. + +BRITANNIA. + +HIS FINE SPEECH, &c. + +THE CONCLUSION. + + + + +AN + +EXPLANATORY PREFACE. + + +It is not that I see any reason to alter my opinion in any thing I +have writ, which occasions this epistle; but I find it necessary for +the satisfaction of some persons of honour, as well as wit, to pass a +short explication upon it; and tell the world what I mean, or rather, +what I do not mean, in some things wherein I find I am liable to be +misunderstood. + +I confess myself something surpris'd to hear that I am taxed with +bewraying my own nest, and abusing our nation, by discovering the +meanness of our original, in order to make the English contemptible +abroad and at home; in which, I think, they are mistaken: for why +should not our neighbours be as good as we to derive from? And I must +add, that had we been an unmix'd nation, I am of opinion it had been +to our disadvantage: for to go no farther, we have three nations about +us as clear from mixtures of blood as any in the world, and I know not +which of them I could wish ourselves to be like; I mean the Scots, the +Welsh, and the Irish; and if I were to write a reverse to the Satire, +I would examine all the nations of Europe, and prove, that those +nations which are most mix'd, are the best, and have least of +barbarism and brutality among them; and abundance of reasons might be +given for it, too long to bring into a Preface. + +But I give this hint, to let the world know, that I am far from +thinking, 'tis a Satire upon the English nation, to tell them, they +are derived from all the nations under heaven; that is, from several +nations. Nor is it meant to undervalue the original of the English, +for we see no reason to like them worse, being the relicts of Romans, +Danes, Saxons and Normans, than we should have done if they had +remain'd Britons, that is, than if they had been all Welshmen. + +But the intent of the Satire is pointed at the vanity of those who +talk of their antiquity, and value themselves upon their pedigree, +their ancient families, and being true-born; whereas 'tis impossible +we should be true-born: and if we could, should have lost by the +bargain. + +These sort of people, who call themselves true-born, and tell long +stories of their families, and like a nobleman of Venice, think a +foreigner ought not to walk on the same side of the street with them, +are own'd to be meant in this Satire. What they would infer from their +long original, I know not, nor is it easy to make out whether they are +the better or the worse for their ancestors: our English nation may +value themselves for their wit, wealth and courage, and I believe few +nations will dispute it with them; but for long originals, and ancient +true-born families of English, I would advise them to wave the +discourse. A true Englishman is one that deserves a character, and I +have nowhere lessened him, that I know of; but as for a true-born +Englishman, I confess I do not understand him. + +From hence I only infer, that an Englishman, of all men, ought not to +despise foreigners as such, and I think the inference is just, since +what they are to-day, we were yesterday, and to-morrow they will be +like us. If foreigners misbehave in their several stations and +employments, I have nothing to do with that; the laws are open to +punish them equally with natives, and let them have no favour. + +But when I see the town full of lampoons and invectives against +Dutchmen, only because they are foreigners, and the king reproached +and insulted by insolent pedants, and ballad-making poets, for +employing foreigners, and for being a foreigner himself, I confess +myself moved by it to remind our nation of their own original, thereby +to let them see what a banter is put upon ourselves in it; since +speaking of Englishmen _ab origine_, we are really all foreigners +ourselves. + +I could go on to prove it is also impolitic in us to discourage +foreigners; since it is easy to make it appear that the multitudes of +foreign nations who have taken sanctuary here, have been the greatest +additions to the wealth and strength of the nation; the essential +whereof is the number of its inhabitants; nor would this nation ever +have arrived to the degree of wealth and glory it now boasts of, if +the addition of foreign nations, both as to manufactures and arms, +had not been helpful to it. This is so plain, that he who is ignorant +of it, is too dull to be talked with. + +The Satire therefore I must allow to be just, till I am otherwise +convinced; because nothing can be more ridiculous than to hear our +people boast of that antiquity, which if it had been true, would have +left us in so much worse a condition than we are in now: whereas we +ought rather to boast among our neighbours, that we are part of +themselves, of the same original as they, but bettered by our climate, +and like our language and manufactures, derived from them, and +improved by us to a perfection greater than they can pretend to. + +This we might have valued ourselves upon without vanity; but to disown +our descent from them, talk big of our ancient families, and long +originals, and stand at a distance from foreigners, like the +enthusiast in religion, with a Stand off, I am more holy than thou: +this is a thing so ridiculous, in a nation derived from foreigners, as +we are, that I could not but attack them as I have done. + +And whereas I am threatened to be called to a public account for this +freedom; and the publisher of this has been newspapered into gaol +already for it; tho' I see nothing in it for which the government can +be displeased; yet if at the same time those people who with an +unlimited arrogance in print, every day affront the king, prescribe +the parliament, and lampoon the government, may be either punished or +restrained, I am content to stand and fall by the public justice of my +native country, which I am not sensible I have anywhere injured. + +Nor would I be misunderstood concerning the clergy; with whom, if I +have taken any license more than becomes a Satire, I question not but +those gentlemen, who are men of letters, are also men of so much +candor, as to allow me a loose at the crimes of the guilty, without +thinking the whole profession lashed who are innocent. I profess to +have very mean thoughts of those gentlemen who have deserted their own +principles, and exposed even their morals as well as loyality; but not +at all to think it affects any but such as are concerned in the fact. + +Nor would I be misrepresented as to the ingratitude of the English to +the king and his friends; as if I meant the English as a nation, are +so. The contrary is so apparent, that I would hope it should not be +suggested of me: and, therefore when I have brought in Britannia +speaking of the king, I suppose her to be the representative or mouth +of the nation, as a body. But if I say we are full of such who daily +affront the king, and abuse his friends; who print scurrilous +pamphlets, virulent lampoons, and reproachful public banters, against +both the king's person and his government; I say nothing but what is +too true; and that the Satire is directed at such, I freely own; and +cannot say, but I should think it very hard to be censured for this +Satire, while such remain unquestioned and tacitly approved. That I +can mean none but such, is plain from these few lines, page 453. +[Transcriber's Note: This reference is to a page number in the 1855 +reprint edition.] + + Ye heavens regard! Almighty Jove, look down, + And view thy injured monarch on the throne. + On their ungrateful heads due vengeance take, + Who sought his aid, and then his part forsake. + +If I have fallen rudely upon our vices, I hope none but the vicious +will be angry. As for writing for interest, I disown it; I have +neither place, nor pension, nor prospect; nor seek none, nor will have +none: if matter of fact justifies the truth of the crimes, the Satire +is just. As to the poetic liberties, I hope the crime is pardonable; I +am content to be stoned, provided none will attack me but the +innocent. + +If my countrymen would take the hint, and grow better natured from my +ill-natured poem as some call it; I would say this of it, that though +it is far from the best Satire that ever was wrote, it would do the +most good that ever Satire did. + +And yet I am ready to ask pardon of some gentlemen too; who though +they are Englishmen, have good nature enough to see themselves +reproved, and can hear it. These are gentlemen in a true sense, that +can bare to be told of their _faux pas_, and not abuse the reprover. +To such I must say, this is no Satire; they are exceptions to the +general rule; and I value my performance from their generous +approbation, more than I can from any opinion I have of its worth. + +The hasty errors of my verse I made my excuse for before; and since +the time I have been upon it has been but little, and my leisure less, +I have all along strove rather to make the thoughts explicit, than the +poem correct. However, I have mended some faults in this edition, and +the rest must be placed to my account. + +As to answers, banters, true English Billingsgate, I expect them till +nobody will buy, and then the shop will be shut. Had I wrote it for +the gain of the press, I should have been concerned at its being +printed again, and again, by pirates, as they call them, and +paragraph-men; but would they but do it justice, and print it true, +according to the copy, they are welcome to sell it for a penny, if +they please. + +The pence, indeed, is the end of their works. I will engage if nobody +will buy, nobody will write: and not a patriot poet of them all, now +will in defence of his native country, which I have abused, they say, +print an answer to it, and give it about for God's sake. + + + + +PREFACE. + + +The end of satire is reformation: and the author, though he doubt the +work of conversion is at a general stop, has put his hand in the +plough. I expect a storm of ill language from the fury of the town. +And especially from those whose English talent it is to rail: and, +without being taken for a conjuror, I may venture to foretel, that I +shall be cavilled at about my mean style, rough verse, and incorrect +language, things I indeed might have taken more care in. But the book +is printed; and though I see some faults, it is too late to mend them. +And this is all I think needful to say to them. + +Possibly somebody may take me for a Dutchman; in which they are +mistaken: but I am one that would be glad to see Englishmen behave +themselves better to strangers, and to governors also, that one might +not be reproached in foreign countries for belonging to a nation that +wants manners. + +I assure you, gentlemen, strangers use us better abroad; and we can +give no reason but our ill-nature for the contrary here. + +Methinks an Englishman who is so proud of being called a good fellow, +should be civil. And it cannot be denied, but we are, in many cases, +and particularly to strangers, the most churlish people alive. + +As to vices, who can dispute our intemperance, while an honest drunken +fellow is a character in a man's praise? All our reformations are +banters, and will be so till our magistrates and gentry reform +themselves, by way of example; then, and not till then, they may be +expected to punish others without blushing. + +As to our ingratitude, I desire to be understood of that particular +people, who pretending to be Protestants, have all along endeavoured +to reduce the liberties and religion of this nation into the hands of +King James and his Popish powers: together with such who enjoy the +peace and protection of the present government, and yet abuse and +affront the king who procured it, and openly profess their uneasiness +under him: these, by whatsoever names or titles they are dignified or +distinguished, are the people aimed at; nor do I disown, but that it +is so much the temper of an Englishman to abuse his benefactor, that I +could be glad to see it rectified. + +They who think I have been guilty of any error, in exposing the crimes +of my own countrymen to themselves, may, among many honest instances +of the like nature, find the same thing in Mr. Cowley, in his +imitation of the second Olympic Ode of Pindar; his words are these:-- + + But in this thankless world, the givers + Are envied even by the receivers. + 'Tis now the cheap and frugal fashion, + Rather to hide than pay an obligation. + Nay, 'tis much worse than so; + It now an artifice doth grow, + Wrongs and outrages they do, + Lest men should think we owe. + + + + +THE INTRODUCTION. + + +Speak, Satire, for there's none can tell like thee, +Whether 'tis folly, pride, or knavery, +That makes this discontented land appear +Less happy now in times of peace, than war: +Why civil feuds disturb the nation more, +Than all our bloody wars have done before. + + Fools out of favour grudge at knaves in place, +And men are always honest in disgrace: +The court preferments make men knaves in course: +But they which wou'd be in them wou'd be worse. +'Tis not at foreigners that we repine, +Wou'd foreigners their perquisites resign: +The grand contention's plainly to be seen, +To get some men put out, and some put in. +For this our Senators make long harangues. +And florid Ministers whet their polish'd tongues. +Statesmen are always sick of one disease; +And a good pension gives them present ease. +That's the specific makes them all content +With any King and any government. +Good patriots at court abuses rail, +And all the nation's grievances bewail: +But when the sov'reign balsam's once apply'd, +The zealot never fails to change his side; +And when he must the golden key resign, +The railing spirit comes about again. + + Who shall this bubbl'd nation disabuse, +While they their own felicities refuse? +Who at the wars have made such mighty pother, +And now are falling out with one another: +With needless fears the jealous nations fill, +And always have been sav'd against their will: +Who fifty millions sterling have disburs'd +To be with peace, and too much plenty, curs'd; +Who their old monarch eagerly undo, +And yet uneasily obey the new. +Search, Satire, search; a deep incision make: +The poison's strong, the antidote's too weak. +'Tis pointed truth must manage this dispute, +And down-right English, Englishmen confute. + + Whet thy just anger at the nation's pride; +And with keen phrase repel the vicious tide, +To Englishmen their own beginnings show, +And ask them, why they slight their neighbours so: +Go back to elder times, and ages past, +And nations into long oblivion cast; +To elder Britain's youthful days retire, +And there for true-born Englishmen inquire, +Britannia freely will disown the name, +And hardly knows herself from whence they came; +Wonders that they of all men should pretend +To birth, and blood, and for a name contend. +Go back to causes where our follies dwell, +And fetch the dark original from hell: +Speak, Satire, for there's none like thee can tell. + + + + +THE + +TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN. + + +PART I. + +Wherever God erects a house of prayer, +The Devil always builds a chapel there: +And 'twill be found upon examination, +The latter has the largest congregation: +For ever since he first debauch'd the mind, +He made a perfect conquest of mankind. +With uniformity of service, he +Reigns with general aristocracy. +No non-conforming sects disturb his reign, +For of his yoke, there's very few complain. +He knows the genius and the inclination, +And matches proper sins for ev'ry nation. +He needs no standing army government; +He always rules us by our own consent: +His laws are easy, and his gentle sway +Makes it exceeding pleasant to obey. +The list of his vicegerents and commanders, +Out-does your Cæsars, or your Alexanders. +They never fail of his infernal aid, +And he's as certain ne'er to be betray'd. +Thro' all the world they spread his vast command, +And death's eternal empire is maintain'd. +They rule so politicly and so well, +As if they were Lords Justices of hell; +Duly divided to debauch mankind, +And plant infernal dictates in his mind. + + Pride, the first peer, and president of hell, +To his share, Spain, the largest province fell. +The subtle Prince thought fittest to bestow +On these the golden mines of Mexico, +With all the silver mountains of Peru; +Wealth which in wise hands would the world undo; +Because he knew their genius was such, +Too lazy and too haughty to be rich: +So proud a people, so above their fate, +That, if reduced to beg, they'll beg in state: +Lavish of money, to be counted brave, +And proudly starve, because they scorn to save; +Never was nation in the world before, +So very rich, and yet so very poor. + + Lust chose the torrid zone of Italy, +Where blood ferments in rapes and sodomy: +Where swelling veins o'erflow with living streams, +With heat impregnate from Vesuvian flames; +Whose flowing sulphur forms infernal lakes, +And human body of the soil partakes. +There nature ever burns with hot desires, +Fann'd with luxuriant air from subterranean fires: +Here undisturbed, in floods of scalding lust, +Th' infernal king reigns with infernal gust. + + Drunkenness, the darling favourite of hell, +Chose Germany to rule; and rules so well, +No subjects more obsequiously obey, +None please so well, or are so pleased as they; +The cunning artist manages so well, +He lets them bow to heav'n, and drink to hell. +If but to wine and him they homage pay, +He cares not to what deity they pray; +What god they worship most, or in what way. +Whether by Luther, Calvin, or by Rome, +They sail for heaven, by wine he steers them home. + + Ungovern'd passion settled first in France, +Where mankind lives in haste, and thrives by chance; +A dancing nation, fickle and untrue, +Have oft undone themselves, and others too; +Prompt the infernal dictates to obey, +And in hell's favour none more great than they. + + The pagan world he blindly leads away, +And personally rules with arbitrary sway: +The mask thrown off, plain devil, his title stands; +And what elsewhere he tempts, he there commands; +There, with full gust, th' ambition of his mind, +Governs, as he of old in heaven design'd: +Worshipp'd as God, his Paynim altars smoke, +Imbrued with blood of those that him invoke. + + The rest by deputies he rules so well, +And plants the distant colonies of hell; +By them his secret power he firm maintains, +And binds the world in his infernal chains. + + By zeal the Irish, and the Russ by folly, +Fury the Dane, the Swede by melancholy; +By stupid ignorance, the Muscovite; +The Chinese, by a child of hell, call'd wit; +Wealth makes the Persian too effeminate; +And poverty the Tartar desperate: +The Turks and Moors, by Mah'met he subdues; +And God has given him leave to rule the Jews: +Rage rules the Portuguese, and fraud the Scotch; +Revenge the Pole, and avarice the Dutch. + + Satire, be kind, and draw a silent veil, +Thy native England's vices to conceal: +Or, if that task's impossible to do, +At least be just, and show her virtues too; +Too great the first, alas! the last too few. + + England, unknown, as yet unpeopled lay,-- +Happy, had she remain'd so to this day, +And still to ev'ry nation been a prey. +Her open harbours, and her fertile plains, +The merchant's glory these, and those the swain's, +To ev'ry barbarous nation have betray'd her; +Who conquer her as oft as they invade her, +So beauty, guarded out by Innocence, +That ruins her which should be her defence. + + Ingratitude, a devil of black renown, +Possess'd her very early for his own: +An ugly, surly, sullen, selfish spirit, +Who Satan's worst perfections does inherit; +Second to him in malice and in force, +All devil without, and all within him worse. + + He made her first-born race to be so rude, +And suffer'd her to be so oft subdued; +By sev'ral crowds of wandering thieves o'er-run, +Often unpeopled, and as oft undone; +While ev'ry nation that her powers reduced, +Their languages and manners introduced; +From whose mix'd relics our compounded breed, +By spurious generation does succeed; +Making a race uncertain and uneven, +Derived from all the nations under heaven. + + The Romans first with Julius Cæsar came, +Including all the nations of that name, +Gauls, Greek, and Lombards; and, by computation, +Auxiliaries or slaves of ev'ry nation. +With Hengist, Saxons; Danes with Sweno came, +In search of plunder, not in search of fame. +Scots, Picts, and Irish from th' Hibernian shore; +And conq'ring William brought the Normans o'er. + + All these their barb'rous offspring left behind, +The dregs of armies, they of all mankind; +Blended with Britons, who before were here, +Of whom the Welch ha' blest the character. + + From this amphibious, ill-born mob began, +That vain ill-natured thing, an Englishman. +The customs, sirnames, languages, and manners, +Of all these nations, are their own explainers; +Whose relics are so lasting and so strong, +They've left a Shiboleth upon our tongue; +By which, with easy search, you may distinguish +Your Roman, Saxon, Danish, Norman, English. + + The great invading Norman let us know +What conquerors in after-times might do. +To every musqueteer he brought to town, +He gave the lands which never were his own; +When first the English crown he did obtain, +He did not send his Dutchmen home again. +No re-assumptions in his reign were known, +Davenant might there ha' let his book alone. +No parliament his army could disband; +He raised no money, for he paid in land. +He gave his legions their eternal station, +And made them all freeholders of the nation. +He canton'd out the country to his men, +And every soldier was a denizen. +The rascals thus enrich'd, he called them lords, +To please their upstart pride with new-made words, +And doomsday book his tyranny records. + + And here begins the ancient pedigree +That so exalts our poor nobility. +'Tis that from some French trooper they derive, +Who with the Norman bastard did arrive: +The trophies of the families appear; +Some show the sword, the bow, and some the spear, +Which their great ancestor, forsooth, did wear. +These in the herald's register remain, +Their noble mean extraction to explain, +Yet who the hero was no man can tell, +Whether a drummer or a colonel: +The silent record blushes to reveal +Their undescended dark original. + + But grant the best. How came the change to pass; +A true-born Englishman of Norman race? +A Turkish horse can show more history, +To prove his well-descended family. +Conquest, as by the moderns 'tis express'd, +May give a title to the lands possess'd; +But that the longest sword should be so civil, +To make a Frenchman English, that's the devil. + + These are the heroes that despise the Dutch, +And rail at new-come foreigners so much; +Forgetting that themselves are all derived +From the most scoundrel race that ever lived; +A horrid crowd of rambling thieves and drones +Who ransack'd kingdoms, and dispeopled towns; +The Pict and painted Briton, treach'rous Scot, +By hunger, theft, and rapine, hither brought; +Norwegian pirates, buccaneering Danes, +Whose red-hair'd offspring everywhere remains; +Who, join'd with Norman French, compound the breed +From whence your true-born Englishmen proceed. + + And lest, by length of time, it be pretended, +The climate may this modern breed have mended; +Wise Providence, to keep us where we are, +Mixes us daily with exceeding care; +We have been Europe's sink, the jakes, where she +Voids all her offal out-cast progeny; +From our fifth Henry's time the strolling bands, +Of banish'd fugitives from neighb'ring lands, +Have here a certain sanctuary found: +The eternal refuge of the vagabond, +Where in but half a common age of time, +Borrowing new blood and manners from the clime, +Proudly they learn all mankind to contemn, +And all their race are true-born Englishmen. + + Dutch Walloons, Flemmings, Irishmen, and Scots, +Vaudois, and Valtolins, and Hugonots, +In good Queen Bess's charitable reign, +Supplied us with three hundred thousand men: +Religion--God, we thank thee!--sent them hither, +Priests, Protestants, the devil, and all together; +Of all professions, and of ev'ry trade, +All that were persecuted or afraid: +Whether for debt, or other crimes, they fled, +David at Hackelah was still their head. + + The offspring of this miscellaneous crowd, +Had not their new plantations long enjoy'd, +But they grew Englishmen, and raised their votes, +At foreign shoals of interloping Scots; +The royal branch from Pict-land did succeed, +With troops of Scots and scabs from north of Tweed; +The seven first years of his pacific reign, +Made him and half his nation Englishmen. +Scots from the northern frozen banks of Tay, +With packs and plods came whigging all away, +Thick as the locusts which in Egypt swarm'd, +With pride and hungry hopes completely arm'd; +With native truth, diseases, and no money, +Plunder'd our Canaan of the milk and honey; +Here they grew quickly lords and gentlemen, +And all their race are true-born Englishmen. + + The civil wars, the common purgative, +Which always use to make the nation thrive, +Made way for all that strolling congregation, +Which throng'd in pious Charles's restoration. +The royal refugee our breed restores, +With foreign courtiers, and with foreign whores: +And carefully re-peopled us again, +Throughout his lazy, long, lascivious reign, +With such a blest and true-born English fry, +As much illustrates our nobility. +A gratitude which will so black appear, +As future ages must abhor to bear: +When they look back on all that crimson flood, +Which stream'd in Lindsey's, and Caernarvon's blood; +Bold Strafford, Cambridge, Capel, Lucas, Lisle, +Who crown'd in death his father's fun'ral pile. +The loss of whom, in order to supply +With true-born English nobility, +Six bastard dukes survive his luscious reign, +The labours of Italian Castlemain, +French Portsmouth, Tabby Scott, and Cambrian; +Besides the num'rous bright and virgin throng, +Whose female glories shade them from my song. +This offspring if our age they multiply, +May half the house with English peers supply: +There with true English pride they may contemn +Schomberg and Portland, new-made noblemen. + + French cooks, Scotch pedlars, and Italian whores, +Were all made lords or lords' progenitors. +Beggars and bastards by this new creation +Much multiplied the peerage of the nation; +Who will be all, ere one short age runs o'er, +As true-born lords as those we had before. + + Then to recruit the commons he prepares, +And heal the latent breaches of the wars; +The pious purpose better to advance, +He invites the banish'd Protestants of France; +Hither for God's sake, and their own, they fled +Some for religion came, and some for bread: +Two hundred thousand pair of wooden shoes, +Who, God be thank'd, had nothing left to lose; +To heaven's great praise did for religion fly, +To make us starve our poor in charity. +In ev'ry port they plant their fruitful train, +To get a race of true-born Englishmen; +Whose children will, when riper years they see, +Be as ill-natured, and as proud as we; +Call themselves English, foreigners despise, +Be surly like us all, and just as wise. + + Thus from a mixture of all kinds began, +That heterogeneous thing, an Englishman: +In eager rapes, and furious lust begot, +Betwixt a painted Briton and a Scot: +Whose gend'ring offspring quickly learn'd to bow, +And yoke their heifers to the Roman plough; +From whence a mongrel half-bred race there came, +With neither name nor nation, speech or fame, +In whose hot veins new mixtures quickly ran, +Infused betwixt a Saxon and a Dane; +While their rank daughters, to their parents just, +Received all nations with promiscuous lust. +This nauseous brood directly did contain +The well-extracted blood of Englishmen. + + Which medley, canton'd in a heptarchy, +A rhapsody of nations to supply, +Among themselves maintain'd eternal wars, +And still the ladies loved the conquerors. + + The Western Angles all the rest subdued, +A bloody nation, barbarous and rude; +Who by the tenure of the sword possess'd +One part of Britain, and subdued the rest: +And as great things denominate the small, +The conquering part gave title to the whole; +The Scot, Pict, Briton, Roman, Dane, submit, +And with the English Saxon all unite: +And these the mixture have so close pursued, +The very name and memory's subdued; +No Roman now, no Briton does remain; +Wales strove to separate, but strove in vain: +The silent nations undistinguish'd fall, +And Englishman's the common name for all. +Fate jumbled them together, God knows how; +Whate'er they were, they're true-born English now. + + The wonder which remains is at our pride, +To value that which all wise men deride; +For Englishmen to boast of generation +Cancels their knowledge, and lampoons the nation, +A true-born Englishman's a contradiction, +In speech an irony, in fact a fiction: +A banter made to be a test of fools, +Which those that use it justly ridicules; +A metaphor intended to express, +A man a-kin to all the universe. + + For as the Scots, as learned men have said, +Throughout the world their wand'ring seed have spread, +So open-handed England, 'tis believed, +Has all the gleanings of the world received. + + Some think of England, 'twas our Saviour meant, +The Gospel should to all the world be sent: +Since when the blessed sound did hither reach, +They to all nations might be said to preach. + + 'Tis well that virtue gives nobility, +Else God knows where had we our gentry, +Since scarce one family is left alive, +Which does not from some foreigner derive. +Of sixty thousand English gentlemen, +Whose names and arms in registers remain, +We challenge all our heralds to declare +Ten families which English Saxons are. + + France justly boasts the ancient noble line +Of Bourbon, Montmorency, and Lorraine. +The Germans too, their house of Austria show, +And Holland, their invincible Nassau. +Lines which in heraldry were ancient grown, +Before the name of Englishman was known. +Even Scotland, too, her elder glory shows, +Her Gordons, Hamiltons, and her Monro's; +Douglas', Mackays, and Grahams, names well known, +Long before ancient England knew her own. + + But England, modern to the last degree, +Borrows or makes her own nobility, +And yet she boldly boasts of pedigree; +Repines that foreigners are put upon her, +And talks of her antiquity and honour: +Her Sackvills, Savils, Cecils, Delamers, +Mohuns, Montagues, Duras, and Veeres, +Not one have English names, yet all are English peers. +Your Houblons, Papillons, and Lethuliers, +Pass now for true-born English knights and squires, +And make good senate-members, or lord-mayors. +Wealth, howsoever got, in England makes +Lords of mechanics, gentlemen of rakes. +Antiquity and birth are needless here; +'Tis impudence and money makes a peer. + + Innumerable city knights we know, +From Blue-coat Hospitals, and Bridewell flow. +Draymen and porters fill the city chair, +And foot-boys magisterial purple wear. +Fate has but very small distinction set +Betwixt the counter and the coronet. +Tarpaulin lords, pages of high renown, +Rise up by poor men's valour, not their own; +Great families of yesterday we show, +And lords, whose parents were the Lord knows who. + + +PART II. + +The breed's described: now, Satire, if you can, +Their temper show, for manners make the man. +Fierce as the Briton, as the Roman brave, +And less inclined to conquer than to save; +Eager to fight, and lavish of their blood, +And equally of fear and forecast void. +The Pict has made them sour, the Dane morose, +False from the Scot, and from the Norman worse. +What honesty they have, the Saxon gave them, +And that, now they grow old, begins to leave them. +The climate makes them terrible and bold: +And English beef their courage does uphold: +No danger can their daring spirit dull, +Always provided when their belly's full. + + In close intrigues, their faculty's but weak; +For, gen'rally, whate'er they know they speak. +And often their own councils undermine +By their infirmity, and not design. +From whence, the learned say, it does proceed, +That English treason never can succeed: +For they're so open-hearted, you may know +Their own most secret thoughts, and others too. + + The lab'ring poor, in spite of double pay, +Are saucy, mutinous, and beggarly; +So lavish of their money and their time, +That want of forecast is the nation's crime. +Good drunken company is their delight; +And what they get by day they spend by night. +Dull thinking seldom does their heads engage, +But drink their youth away, and hurry on old age. +Empty of all good husbandry and sense; +And void of manners most when void of pence. +Their strong aversion to behaviour's such, +They always talk too little or too much. +So dull, they never take the pains to think; +And seldom are good natured but in drink. + + In English ale their dear enjoyment lies, +For which they starve themselves and families. +An Englishman will fairly drink as much, +As will maintain two families of Dutch: +Subjecting all their labours to the pots; +The greatest artists are the greatest sots. +The country poor do by example live; +The gentry lead them, and the clergy drive; +What may we not from such examples hope? +The landlord is their god, the priest their pope; +A drunken clergy, and a swearing bench, +Has given the reformation such a drench, +As wise men think, there is some cause to doubt, +Will purge good manners and religion out. + + Nor do the poor alone their liquor prize, +The sages join in this great sacrifice; +The learned men who study Aristotle, +Correct him with an explanation bottle: +Praise Epicurus rather than Lysander, +And Aristippus more than Alexander; +The doctors too their Galen here resign, +And generally prescribe specific wine; +The graduate's study's grown an easy task, +While for the urinal they toss the flask; +The surgeon's art grows plainer every hour, +And wine's the balm which into wounds they pour. + + Poets long since Parnassus have forsaken, +And say the ancient bards were all mistaken. +Apollo's lately abdicate and fled, +And good king Bacchus reigneth in his stead: +He does the chaos of the head refine, +And atom thoughts jump into words by wine: +The inspiration's of a finer nature, +As wine must needs excel Parnassus water. + + Statesmen their weighty politics refine, +And soldiers raise their courages by wine. +Cecilia gives her choristers their choice, +And lets them all drink wine to clear the voice. + + Some think the clergy first found out the way, +And wine's the only spirit by which they pray. +But others, less profane than so, agree, +It clears the lungs, and helps the memory: +And, therefore, all of them divinely think, +Instead of study, 'tis as well to drink. + + And here I would be very glad to know, +Whether our Asgilites may drink or no; +The enlightening fumes of wine would certainly +Assist them much when they begin to fly; +Or if a fiery chariot should appear, +Inflamed by wine, they'd have the less to fear. + + Even the gods themselves, as mortals say, +Were they on earth, would be as drunk as they: +Nectar would be no more celestial drink, +They'd all take wine, to teach them how to think. +But English drunkards, gods and men outdo, +Drink their estates away, and senses too. +Colon's in debt, and if his friend should fail +To help him out, must die at last in jail: +His wealthy uncle sent a hundred nobles, +To pay his trifles off, and rid him of his troubles: +But Colon, like a true-born Englishman, +Drunk all the money out in bright champaign, +And Colon does in custody remain. +Drunk'ness has been the darling of the realm, +E'er since a drunken pilot had the helm. + + In their religion, they're so uneven, +That each man goes his own byway to heaven. +Tenacious of mistakes to that degree, +That ev'ry man pursues it sep'rately, +And fancies none can find the way but he: +So shy of one another they are grown, +As if they strove to get to heaven alone. +Rigid and zealous, positive and grave, +And ev'ry grace, but charity, they have; +This makes them so ill-natured and uncivil, +That all men think an Englishman the devil. + + Surly to strangers, froward to their friend, +Submit to love with a reluctant mind, +Resolved to be ungrateful and unkind. +If, by necessity, reduced to ask, +The giver has the difficultest task: +For what's bestow'd they awkwardly receive, +And always take less freely than they give; +The obligation is their highest grief, +They never love where they accept relief; +So sullen in their sorrows, that 'tis known +They'll rather die than their afflictions own; +And if relieved, it is too often true, +That they'll abuse their benefactors too; +For in distress their haughty stomach's such, +They hate to see themselves obliged too much; +Seldom contented, often in the wrong, +Hard to be pleased at all, and never long. + + If your mistakes there ill opinion gain, +No merit can their favour re-obtain: +And if they're not vindictive in their fury, +'Tis their inconstant temper does secure ye: +Their brain's so cool, their passion seldom burns; +For all's condensed before the flame returns: +The fermentation's of so weak a matter, +The humid damps the flame, and runs it all to water; +So though the inclination may be strong, +They're pleased by fits, and never angry long: + + Then, if good-nature show some slender proof, +They never think they have reward enough; +But, like our modern Quakers of the town, +Expect your manners, and return you none. + + Friendship, th' abstracted union of the mind, +Which all men seek, but very few can find; +Of all the nations in the universe, +None can talk on't more, or understand it less; +For if it does their property annoy, +Their property their friendship will destroy. +As you discourse them, you shall hear them tell +All things in which they think they do excel: +No panegyric needs their praise record, +An Englishman ne'er wants his own good word. +His first discourses gen'rally appear, +Prologued with his own wond'rous character: +When, to illustrate his own good name, +He never fails his neighbour to defame. +And yet he really designs no wrong, +His malice goes no further than his tongue. +But, pleased to tattle, he delights to rail, +To satisfy the letch'ry of a tale. +His own dear praises close the ample speech, +Tells you how wise he is, that is, how rich: +For wealth is wisdom; he that's rich is wise; +And all men learned poverty despise: +His generosity comes next, and then +Concludes, that he's a true-born Englishman; +And they, 'tis known, are generous and free, +Forgetting, and forgiving injury: +Which may be true, thus rightly understood, +Forgiving ill turns, and forgetting good. + + Cheerful in labour when they've undertook it, +But out of humour, when they're out of pocket. +But if their belly and their pocket's full, +They may be phlegmatic, but never dull: +And if a bottle does their brains refine, +It makes their wit as sparkling as their wine. + + As for the general vices which we find, +They're guilty of in common with mankind, +Satire forbear, and silently endure, +We must conceal the crimes we cannot cure; +Nor shall my verse the brighter sex defame, +For English beauty will preserve her name; +Beyond dispute agreeable and fair, +And modester than other nations are; +For where the vice prevails, the great temptation +Is want of money more than inclination; +In general this only is allow'd, +They're something noisy, and a little proud. + + An Englishman is gentlest in command, +Obedience is a stranger in the land: +Hardly subjected to the magistrate; +For Englishmen do all subjection hate. +Humblest when rich, but peevish when they're poor, +And think whate'er they have, they merit more. + + The meanest English plowman studies law, +And keeps thereby the magistrates in awe, +Will boldly tell them what they ought to do, +And sometimes punish their omissions too. + + Their liberty and property's so dear, +They scorn their laws or governors to fear; +So bugbear'd with the name of slavery, +They can't submit to their own liberty. +Restraint from ill is freedom to the wise! +But Englishmen do all restraint despise. +Slaves to the liquor, drudges to the pots; +The mob are statesmen, and their statesmen sots. + + Their governors, they count such dang'rous things, +That 'tis their custom to affront their kings: +So jealous of the power their kings possess'd, +They suffer neither power nor kings to rest. +The bad with force they eagerly subdue; +The good with constant clamours they pursue, +And did King Jesus reign, they'd murmur too. +A discontented nation, and by far +Harder to rule in times of peace than war: +Easily set together by the ears, +And full of causeless jealousies and fears: +Apt to revolt, and willing to rebel, +And never are contented when they're well. +No government could ever please them long, +Could tie their hands, or rectify their tongue. +In this, to ancient Israel well compared, +Eternal murmurs are among them heard. + + It was but lately, that they were oppress'd, +Their rights invaded, and their laws suppress'd: +When nicely tender of their liberty, +Lord! what a noise they made of slavery. +In daily tumults show'd their discontent, +Lampoon'd their king, and mock'd his government. +And if in arms they did not first appear, +'Twas want of force, and not for want of fear. +In humbler tone than English used to do, +At foreign hands for foreign aid they sue. + + William, the great successor of Nassau, +Their prayers heard, and their oppressions saw; +He saw and saved them: God and him they praised +To this their thanks, to that their trophies raised. +But glutted with their own felicities, +They soon their new deliverer despise; +Say all their prayers back, their joy disown, +Unsing their thanks, and pull their trophies down; +Their harps of praise are on the willows hung; +For Englishmen are ne'er contented long. + + The reverend clergy too, and who'd ha' thought +That they who had such non-resistance taught, +Should e'er to arms against their prince be brought +Who up to heav'n did regal power advance; +Subjecting English laws to modes of France +Twisting religion so with loyalty, +As one could never live, and t'other die; +And yet no sooner did their prince design +Their glebes and perquisites to undermine, +But all their passive doctrines laid aside, +The clergy their own principles denied; +Unpreach'd their non-resisting cant, and pray'd +To heav'n for help, and to the Dutch for aid; +The church chimed all her doctrines back again, +And pulpit-champions did the cause maintain; +Flew in the face of all their former zeal, +And non-resistance did at once repeal. + + The Rabbi's say it would be too prolix, +To tie religion up to politics, +The churches' safety is _suprema lex_: +And so by a new figure of their own, +Their former doctrines all at once disown; +As laws _post facto_ in the parliament, +In urgent cases have attained assent; +But are as dangerous precedents laid by, +Made lawful only by necessity. + + The rev'rend fathers then in arms appear, +And men of God became the men of war: +The nation, fired by them, to arms apply, +Assault their antichristian monarchy; +To their due channel all our laws restore, +And made things what they should have been before. +But when they came to fill the vacant throne, +And the pale priests look'd back on what they'd done, +How England liberty began to thrive, +And Church of England loyality outlive; +How all their persecuting days were done, +And their deliv'rer placed upon the throne: +The priests, as priests are wont to do, turn'd tail, +They're Englishmen, and nature will prevail; +Now they deplore their ruins they have made, +And murmur for the master they betray'd; +Excuse those crimes they could not make him mend, +And suffer for the cause they can't defend; +Pretend they'd not have carried things so high, +And proto-martyrs make for popery. + + Had the prince done as they design'd the thing, +High set the clergy up to rule the king: +Taken a donative for coming hither, +And so have left their king and them together; +We had, say they, been now a happy nation; +No doubt we had seen a blessed reformation: +For wise men say 'tis as dangerous a thing, +A ruling priesthood, as a priest-rid king; +And of all plagues with which mankind are curst, +Ecclesiastic tyranny's the worst. + + If all our former grievances were feign'd, +King James has been abused, and we trepann'd; +Bugbear'd with popery and power despotic, +Tyrannic government, and leagues exotic; +The revolution's a fanatic plot, +William's a tyrant, King James was not; +A factious army and a poison'd nation, +Unjustly forced King James's abdication. + + But if he did the subjects' rights invade, +Then he was punish'd only, not betrayed; +And punishing of kings is no such crime, +But Englishmen have done it many a time. + + When kings the sword of justice first lay down, +They are no kings, though they possess the crown. +Titles are shadows, crowns are empty things, +The good of subjects is the end of kings; +To guide in war, and to protect in peace, +Where tyrants once commence the kings do cease; +For arbitrary power's so strange a thing, +It makes the tyrant and unmakes the king: +If kings by foreign priests and armies reign, +And lawless power against their oaths maintain, +Then subjects must have reason to complain: +If oaths must bind us when our kings do ill, +To call in foreign aid is to rebel: +By force to circumscribe our lawful prince, +Is wilful treason in the largest sense: +And they who once rebel, must certainly +Their God, and king, and former oaths defy; +If ye allow no mal-administration +Could cancel the allegiance of the nation, +Let all our learned sons of Levi try, +This ecclesiastic riddle to untie; +How they could make a step to call the prince, +And yet pretend the oath and innocence. + + By th' first address they made beyond the seas, +They're perjur'd in the most intense degrees; +And without scruple for the time to come, +May swear to all the kings in Christendom: +Nay, truly did our kings consider all, +They'd never let the clergy swear at all, +Their politic allegiance they'd refuse, +For whores and priests do never want excuse. + + But if the mutual contract was dissolved, +The doubt's explain'd, the difficulty solved; +That kings, when they descend to tyranny, +Dissolve the bond, and leave the subject free; +The government's ungirt when justice dies, +And constitutions are nonentities. +The nation's all a mob, there's no such thing, +As lords, or commons, parliament, or king; +A great promiscuous crowd the Hydra lies, +Till laws revive and mutual contract ties; +A chaos free to choose for their own share, +What case of government they please to wear; +If to a king they do the reins commit, +All men are bound in conscience to submit; +But then the king must by his oath assent, +To _Postulata's_ of the government; +Which if he breaks he cuts off the entail, +And power retreats to its original. + + This doctrine has the sanction of assent +From nature's universal Parliament: +The voice of nations, and the course of things, +Allow that laws superior are to kings; +None but delinquents would have justice cease, +Knaves rail at laws, as soldiers rail at peace: +For justice is the end of government, +As reason is the test of argument: +No man was ever yet so void of sense, +As to debate the right of self-defence; +A principle so grafted in the mind, +With nature born, and does like nature bind; +Twisted with reason, and with nature too, +As neither one nor t'other can undo. + + Nor can this right be less when national, +Reason which governs one should govern all; +Whate'er the dialect of courts may tell, +He that his right demands can ne'er rebel; +Which right, if 'tis by governors denied, +May be procured by force or foreign aid; +For tyranny's a nation's term of grief, +As folks cry fire to hasten in relief; +And when the hated word is heard about, +All men should come to help the people out. + + Thus England groan'd, Britannia's voice was heard, +And great Nassau to rescue her appear'd: +Call'd by the universal voice of fate, +God and the people's legal magistrate: +Ye heavens regard! Almighty Jove look down, +And view thy injured monarch on the throne; +On their ungrateful heads due vengeance take +Who sought his aid, and then his part forsake: +Witness, ye powers! it was our call alone, +Which now our pride makes us ashamed to own; +Britannia's troubles fetch'd him from afar, +To court the dreadful casualties of war; +But where requital never can be made, +Acknowledgment's a tribute seldom paid. + + He dwelt in bright Maria's circling arms, +Defended by the magic of her charms, +From foreign fears and from domestic harms; +Ambition found no fuel for her fire, +He had what God could give or man desire, +Till pity roused him from his soft repose, +His life to unseen hazards to expose; +Till pity moved him in our cause to appear, +Pity! that word which now we hate to hear; +But English gratitude is always such, +To hate the hand that does oblige too much. + + Britannia's cries gave birth to his intent, +And hardly gain'd his unforeseen assent; +His boding thoughts foretold him he should find +The people fickle, selfish, and unkind; +Which thought did to his royal heart appear +More dreadful than the dangers of the war; +For nothing grates a generous mind so soon, +As base returns for hearty service done. + + Satire, be silent! awfully prepare +Britannia's song, and William's praise to hear; +Stand by, and let her cheerfully rehearse +Her grateful vows in her immortal verse. +Loud fame's eternal trumpet let her sound, +Listen, ye distant poles, and endless round, +May the strong blast the welcome news convey, +As far as sound can reach or spirit fly! +To neighb'ring worlds, if such there be, relate +Our heroes fame for theirs to imitate; +To distant worlds of spirits let her rehearse, +For spirits without the helps of voice converse: +May angels hear the gladsome news on high, +Mix'd with their everlasting symphony; +And hell itself stand in surprise to know, +Whether it be the fatal blast or no. + + +BRITANNIA. + + The fame of virtue 'tis for which I sound, +And heroes with immortal triumphs crown'd; +Fame built on solid virtue swifter flies, +Than morning light can spread the eastern skies: +The gath'ring air returns the doubling sound; +And loud repeating thunders force it round; +Echoes return from caverns of the deep, +Old Chaos dreams on't in eternal sleep: +Time hands it forward to its latest urn, +From whence it never, never shall return: +Nothing is heard so far, or lasts so long, +'Tis heard by ev'ry ear, and spoke by every tongue. + + My hero, with the sails of honour furl'd, +Rises like the great genius of the world; +By fate and fame wisely prepared to be +The soul of war and life of victory; +He spreads the wings of virtue on the throne, +And ev'ry wind of glory fans them on; +Immortal trophies dwell upon his brow, +Fresh as the garlands he has won but now. + + By different steps the high ascent he gains, +And differently that high ascent maintains: +Princes for pride and lust of rule make war, +And struggle for the name of conqueror; +Some fight for fame, and some for victory, +He fights to save, and conquers to set free. + + Then seek no phrase his titles to conceal, +And hide with words what actions must reveal; +No parallel from Hebrew stories take, +Of godlike kings my similies to make; +No borrowed names conceal my living theme, +But names and things directly I proclaim; +His honest merit does his glory raise, +Whom that exalts let no man fear to praise; +Of such a subject no man need be shy, +Virtue's above the reach of flattery; +He needs no character but his own fame, +Nor any flattering titles but his own name. + + William's the name that's spoke by every tongue, +William's the darling subject of my song; +Listen, ye virgins, to the charming sound, +And in eternal dances hand it round; +Your early offerings to this altar bring, +Make him at once a lover and a king; +May he submit to none but to your arms, +Nor ever be subdued, but by your charms; +May your soft thoughts for him be all sublime, +And ev'ry tender vow be made for him; +May he be first in ev'ry morning thought, +And heav'n ne'er hear a prayer where he's left out; +May every omen, every boding dream, +Be fortunate by mentioning his name; +May this one charm infernal powers affright, +And guard you from the terror of the night; +May ev'ry cheerful glass as it goes down +To William's health, be cordials to your own: +Let ev'ry song be chorust with his name, +And music pay her tribute to his fame; +Let ev'ry poet tune his artful verse, +And in immortal strains his deeds rehearse: +And may Apollo never more inspire +The disobedient bard with his seraphic fire +May all my sons their grateful homage pay, +His praises sing, and for his safety pray. + + Satire, return to our unthankful isle, +Secured by heaven's regards, and William's toil: +To both ungrateful, and to both untrue, +Rebels to God, and to good nature too. + + If e'er this nation be distress'd again, +To whomsoe'er they cry, they'll cry in vain; +To heav'n they cannot have the face to look, +Or, if they should, it would but heav'n provoke; +To hope for help from man would be too much, +Mankind would always tell 'em of the Dutch: +How they came here our freedoms to maintain, +Were paid, and cursed, and hurried home again; +How by their aid we first dissolved our fears, +And then our helpers damn'd for foreigners: +'Tis not our English temper to do better, +For Englishmen think ev'ry one their debtor. + + 'Tis worth observing, that we ne'er complain'd +Of foreigners, nor of the wealth we gain'd, +Till all their services were at an end: +Wise men affirm it is the English way, +Never to grumble till they come to pay; +And then they always think, their temper's such, +The work too little, and the pay too much. + + As frighted patients, when they want a cure, +Bid any price, and any pain endure: +But when the doctor's remedies appear, +The cure's too easy, and the price too dear: +Great Portland near was banter'd when he strove, +For us his master's kindest thoughts to move: +We ne'er lampoon'd his conduct, when employ'd +King James's secret councils to divide: +Then we caress'd him as the only man, +Who could the doubtful oracle explain; +The only Hushai, able to repel +The dark designs of our Achitophel: +Compared his master's courage to his sense, +The ablest statesman, and the bravest prince; +On his wise conduct we depended much, +And liked him ne'er the worse for being Dutch: +Nor was he valued more than he deserved, +Freely he ventured, faithfully he served; +In all King William's dangers he has shared, +In England's quarrels always he appear'd: +The revolution first, and then the Boyne, +In both, his counsels and his conduct shine; +His martial valour Flanders will confess, +And France regrets his managing the peace; +Faithful to England's interest and her king, +The greatest reason of our murmuring: +Ten years in English service he appear'd, +And gain'd his master's and the world's regard; +But 'tis not England's custom to reward, +The wars are over, England needs him not; +Now he's a Dutchman, and the Lord knows what. + + Schonbergh, the ablest soldier of his age, +With great Nassau did in our cause engage; +Both join'd for England's rescue and defence, +The greatest captain and the greatest prince; +With what applause his stories did we tell, +Stories which Europe's volumes largely swell! +We counted him an army in our aid, +Where he commanded, no man was afraid; +His actions with a constant conquest shine, +From Villa Vitiosa to the Rhine; +France, Flanders, Germany, his fame confess, +And all the world was fond of him but us: +Our turn first served, we grudged him the command, +Witness the grateful temper of the land. + + We blame the King, that he relies too much, +On Strangers, Germans, Hugonots, and Dutch; +And seldom does his great affairs of state, +To English counsellors communicate: +The fact might very well be answer'd thus: +He had so often been betray'd by us, +He must have been a madman to rely, +On English gentlemen's fidelity; +For, laying other argument aside: +This thought might mortify our English pride; +That foreigners have faithfully obey'd him, +And none but Englishmen have e'er betray'd him: +They have our ships and merchants bought and sold, +And barter'd English blood for foreign gold; +First to the French they sold our Turkey fleet, +And injured Talmarsh next at Cameret; +The king himself is shelter'd from their snares, +Not by his merits, but the crown he wears; +Experience tells us 'tis the English way, +Their benefactors always to betray. + + And, lest examples should be too remote, +A modern magistrate of famous note, +Shall give you his own history by rote; +I'll make it out, deny it he that can, +His worship is a true-born Englishman; +By all the latitude that empty word, +By modern acceptation's understood: +The parish books his great descent record, +And now he hopes ere long to be a lord; +And truly, as things go, it would be pity, +But such as he bore office in the city; +While robb'ry for burnt-offering he brings, +And gives to God what he has stole from kings; +Great monuments of charity he raises, +And good St. Magnus whistles out his praises; +To city jails he grants a jubilee, +And hires huzza's from his own mobile. + + Lately he wore the golden chain and gown, +With which equipp'd he thus harangued the town. + + +HIS FINE SPEECH, &c. + + With clouted iron shoes, and sheep-skin breeches, +More rags than manners, and more dirt than riches, +From driving cows and calves to Leyton market, +While of my greatness there appear'd no spark yet, +Behold I come to let you see the pride, +With which exalted beggars always ride. + + Born to the needful labours of the plough, +The cart-whip graced me, as the chain does now. +Nature and fate in doubt what course to take, +Whether I should a lord or plough-boy make; +Kindly at last resolv'd they would promote me, +And first a knave, and then a knight they vote me. +What fate appointed, nature did prepare, +And furnish'd me with an exceeding care, +To fit me for what they design'd to have me; +And every gift but honesty they gave me. + + And thus equipp'd, to this proud town I came, +In quest of bread, and not in quest of fame. +Blind to my future fate, an humble boy, +Free from the guilt and glory I enjoy. +The hopes which my ambition entertain'd, +Where in the name of foot-boy, all contain'd. +The greatest heights from small beginnings rise; +The gods were great on earth, before they reach'd the skies. + + Backwell, the generous temper of whose mind, +Was always to be bountiful inclin'd: +Whether by his ill fate or fancy led, +First took me up, and furnish'd me with bread: +The little services he put me to, +Seem'd labours, rather than were truly so. +But always my advancement he design'd; +For 'twas his very nature to be kind: +Large was his soul, his temper ever free; +The best of masters and of men to me: +And I who was before decreed by fate, +To be made infamous as well as great, +With an obsequious diligence obey'd him, +Till trusted with his all, and then betray'd him. + + All his past kindnesses I trampled on, +Ruin'd his fortunes to erect my own: +So vipers in the bosom bred begin, +To hiss at that hand first which took them in; +With eager treach'ry I his fall pursu'd, +And my first trophies were ingratitude. + + Ingratitude's the worst of human guilt, +The basest action mankind can commit; +Which, like the sin against the Holy Ghost, +Has least of honour, and of guilt the most; +Distinguished from all other crimes by this, +That 'tis a crime which no man will confess; +That sin alone, which should not be forgiv'n +On earth, altho' perhaps it may in heaven. + + Thus my first benefactor I o'erthrew; +And how shou'd I be to a second true? +The public trust came next into my care, +And I to use them scurvily prepare: +My needy sov'reign lord I play'd upon, +And lent him many a thousand of his own; +For which great interest I took care to charge, +And so my ill-got wealth became so large. + + My predecessor Judas was a fool, +Fitter to have been whipt and sent to school, +Than sell a Saviour: had I been at hand, +His Master had not been so cheap trepann'd; +I would have made the eager Jews have found, +For thirty pieces, thirty thousand pound. + + My cousin Ziba, of immortal fame, +(Ziba and I shall never want a name:) +First-born of treason, nobly did advance +His Master's fall, for his inheritance: +By whose keen arts old David first began +To break his sacred oath to Jonathan: +The good old king 'tis thought was very loth +To break his word, and therefore broke his oath. +Ziba's a traitor of some quality, +Yet Ziba might have been inform'd by me: +Had I been there, he ne'er had been content +With half th' estate, nor half the government. + + In our late revolution 'twas thought strange, +That I of all mankind should like the change, +But they who wonder'd at it never knew, +That in it I did my old game pursue: +Nor had they heard of twenty thousand pound, +Which ne'er was lost, yet never could be found. + + Thus all things in their turn to sale I bring, +God and my master first, and then the king; +Till by successful villanies made bold, +I thought to turn the nation into gold; +And so to forgery my hand I bent, +Not doubting I could gull the Government; +But there was ruffl'd by the Parliament. +And if I 'scaped th' unhappy tree to climb, +'Twas want of law, and not for want of crime; + + But my old friend,[A] who printed in my face +A needful competence of English brass; +Having more business yet for me to do, +And loth to lose his trusty servant so, +Managed the matter with such art and skill, +As sav'd his hero, and threw out the Bill. + + And now I'm grac'd with unexpected honours, +For which I'll certainly abuse the donors: +Knighted, and made a tribune of the people, +Whose laws and properties I'm like to keep well: +The custos rotulorum of the city, +And captain of the guards of their banditti. +Surrounded by my catchpoles, I declare +Against the needy debtor open war. +I hang poor thieves for stealing of your pelf, +And suffer none to rob you, but myself. + + The king commanded me to help reform ye, +And how I'll do't, Miss ---- shall inform ye. +I keep the best seraglio in the nation, +And hope in time to bring it into fashion; +No brimstone whore need fear the lash from me, +That part I'll leave to Brother Jefferey: +Our gallants need not go abroad to Rome, +I'll keep a whoring jubilee at home; +Whoring's the darling of my inclination; +An't I a magistrate for reformation? +For this my praise is sung by ev'ry bard, +For which Bridewell wou'd be a just reward. +In print my panegyric fills the street, +And hired gaol-birds their huzzas repeat; +Some charities contriv'd to make a show, +Have taught the needy rabble to do so; +Whose empty noise is a mechanic fame, +Since for Sir Beelzebub they'd do the same. + +[Footnote A: The Devil.] + + +THE CONCLUSION. + + Then let us boast of ancestors no more, +Or deeds of heroes done in days of yore, +In latent records of the ages past, +Behind the rear of time, in long oblivion plac'd; +For if our virtues must in lines descend, +The merit with the families would end, +And intermixtures would most fatal grow; +For vice would be hereditary too; +The tainted blood would of necessity, +Involuntary wickedness convey. + + Vice, like ill-nature, for an age or two, +May seem a generation to pursue; +But virtue seldom does regard the breed, +Fools do the wise, and wise men fools succeed. + + What is't to us, what ancestors we had? +If good, what better? or what worse, if bad? +Examples are for imitation set, +Yet all men follow virtue with regret. + + Could but our ancestors retrieve their fate, +And see their offspring thus degenerate; +How we contend for birth and names unknown, +And build on their past actions, not our own; +They'd cancel records, and their tombs deface, +And openly disown the vile degenerate race: +For fame of families is all a cheat, +It's personal virtue only makes us great. + + +THE END. + + + + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The True-Born Englishman, by Daniel Defoe + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30159 *** diff --git a/30159-h/30159-h.htm b/30159-h/30159-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3fd5149 --- /dev/null +++ b/30159-h/30159-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1754 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=UTF-8" /> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of The True-Born Englishman, by Daniel Defoe. + </title> + <style type="text/css"> + +body { + margin-left: 15%; + margin-right: 15%; +} + + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; +} + +p { + margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; +} + +hr { + width: 65%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; +} + +hr.med { + width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; +} + +hr.short { + width: 15%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; +} + +table { + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; +} + + +/* Formatting */ +.blockquot {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + +.bbox {border: solid black 1px; margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%;} + +.center {text-align: center;} + +.hang {text-indent: -2em; margin-left: 2em;} + + +/* Fonts */ +.smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + +.xsm {font-size: 60%;} +.sm {font-size: 75%;} + + +/* Footnotes */ +.footnote {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + +.footnote .label {position: absolute; right: 84%; text-align: right;} + +.fnanchor {vertical-align: baseline; + position: relative; bottom: 0.4em; + font-size: 80%; text-decoration: none;} + + +/* Transcriber Notes */ +.notes {background-color: #eeeeee; color: #000; + padding-top: .5em; padding-bottom: .5em; + padding-left: 1em; padding-right: 1em; + margin-left: 5%; margin-right: 5%;} + + </style> + </head> +<body> +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30159 ***</div> + +<div class="notes"> +<p><i>Transcriber's Note:</i> This satire in verse by Daniel Defoe (c. +1659-1731) was first published in 1701 under the title, <i>The True-Born +Englishman. A Satyr</i>, and went through numerous editions in Defoe's +lifetime. This e-book was prepared from <i>The Novels and Miscellaneous +Works of Daniel De Foe</i>, Volume 5 (London: Henry G. Bohn, 1855), in +which the spelling, punctuation, and capitalization have apparently +been modernized. Page numbers have been omitted from this e-book, and +obvious printer errors have been corrected. A <a href="#CONTENTS">table of contents</a> has +been added for the reader's convenience.</p> +</div> + +<p><br /></p> + +<div class="bbox"> +<h1><span class="xsm">THE</span><br /> +<br /> +TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN:</h1> + +<h2><span class="sm">A</span><br /> +<br /> +SATIRE.</h2> + +<div class="blockquot"> +<p class="hang">Statuimus pacem, et securitatem et concordiam judicum et justiciam +inter Anglos et Normannos, Francos et Britanes, Walliæ, et Cornubiæ, +Pictos et Scotos, Albaniæ, similiter inter Francos et insulanos +provincias et patrias, quæ pertinent ad coronam nostram, et inter +omnes nobis subjectos firmiter et inviolabiliter observare.</p> + +<p>Charta Regis Gullielmi Conquisitoris de Pacis Publica, cap. i.</p> +</div> +</div> + +<hr /> +<h2><a name="CONTENTS" id="CONTENTS"></a>CONTENTS</h2> + +<p class="center"><a href="#EXPLANATORY">AN EXPLANATORY PREFACE.</a></p> +<p class="center"><a href="#PREFACE">PREFACE.</a></p> +<p class="center"><a href="#THE_INTRODUCTION">THE INTRODUCTION.</a></p> +<p class="center"><a href="#TRUE-BORN">THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN.</a></p> +<p class="center"><a href="#PART_I">PART I.</a></p> +<p class="center"><a href="#PART_II">PART II.</a></p> +<p class="center"><a href="#BRITANNIA">BRITANNIA.</a></p> +<p class="center"><a href="#SPEECH">HIS FINE SPEECH, &c.</a></p> +<p class="center"><a href="#CONCLUSION">THE CONCLUSION.</a></p> + + +<hr /> +<h2><a name="EXPLANATORY" id="EXPLANATORY"></a><span class="sm">AN</span><br /> +<br /> +EXPLANATORY PREFACE.</h2> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p><span class="smcap">It</span> is not that I see any reason to alter my opinion in any thing I +have writ, which occasions this epistle; but I find it necessary for +the satisfaction of some persons of honour, as well as wit, to pass a +short explication upon it; and tell the world what I mean, or rather, +what I do not mean, in some things wherein I find I am liable to be +misunderstood.</p> + +<p>I confess myself something surpris'd to hear that I am taxed with +bewraying my own nest, and abusing our nation, by discovering the +meanness of our original, in order to make the English contemptible +abroad and at home; in which, I think, they are mistaken: for why +should not our neighbours be as good as we to derive from? And I must +add, that had we been an unmix'd nation, I am of opinion it had been +to our disadvantage: for to go no farther, we have three nations about +us as clear from mixtures of blood as any in the world, and I know not +which of them I could wish ourselves to be like; I mean the Scots, the +Welsh, and the Irish; and if I were to write a reverse to the Satire, +I would examine all the nations of Europe, and prove, that those +nations which are most mix'd, are the best, and have least of +barbarism and brutality among them; and abundance of reasons might be +given for it, too long to bring into a Preface.</p> + +<p>But I give this hint, to let the world know, that I am far from +thinking, 'tis a Satire upon the English nation, to tell them, they +are derived from all the nations under heaven; that is, from several +nations. Nor is it meant to undervalue the original of the English, +for we see no reason to like them worse, being the relicts of Romans, +Danes, Saxons and Normans, than we should have done if they had +remain'd Britons, that is, than if they had been all Welshmen.</p> + +<p>But the intent of the Satire is pointed at the vanity of those who +talk of their antiquity, and value themselves upon their pedigree, +their ancient families, and being true-born; whereas 'tis impossible +we should be true-born: and if we could, should have lost by the +bargain.</p> + +<p>These sort of people, who call themselves true-born, and tell long +stories of their families, and like a nobleman of Venice, think a +foreigner ought not to walk on the same side of the street with them, +are own'd to be meant in this Satire. What they would infer from their +long original, I know not, nor is it easy to make out whether they are +the better or the worse for their ancestors: our English nation may +value themselves for their wit, wealth and courage, and I believe few +nations will dispute it with them; but for long originals, and ancient +true-born families of English, I would advise them to wave the +discourse. A true Englishman is one that deserves a character, and I +have nowhere lessened him, that I know of; but as for a true-born +Englishman, I confess I do not understand him.</p> + +<p>From hence I only infer, that an Englishman, of all men, ought not to +despise foreigners as such, and I think the inference is just, since +what they are to-day, we were yesterday, and to-morrow they will be +like us. If foreigners misbehave in their several stations and +employments, I have nothing to do with that; the laws are open to +punish them equally with natives, and let them have no favour.</p> + +<p>But when I see the town full of lampoons and invectives against +Dutchmen, only because they are foreigners, and the king reproached +and insulted by insolent pedants, and ballad-making poets, for +employing foreigners, and for being a foreigner himself, I confess +myself moved by it to remind our nation of their own original, thereby +to let them see what a banter is put upon ourselves in it; since +speaking of Englishmen <i>ab origine</i>, we are really all foreigners +ourselves.</p> + +<p>I could go on to prove it is also impolitic in us to discourage +foreigners; since it is easy to make it appear that the multitudes of +foreign nations who have taken sanctuary here, have been the greatest +additions to the wealth and strength of the nation; the essential +whereof is the number of its inhabitants; nor would this nation ever +have arrived to the degree of wealth and glory it now boasts of, if +the addition of foreign nations, both as to manufactures and arms, +had not been helpful to it. This is so plain, that he who is ignorant +of it, is too dull to be talked with.</p> + +<p>The Satire therefore I must allow to be just, till I am otherwise +convinced; because nothing can be more ridiculous than to hear our +people boast of that antiquity, which if it had been true, would have +left us in so much worse a condition than we are in now: whereas we +ought rather to boast among our neighbours, that we are part of +themselves, of the same original as they, but bettered by our climate, +and like our language and manufactures, derived from them, and +improved by us to a perfection greater than they can pretend to.</p> + +<p>This we might have valued ourselves upon without vanity; but to disown +our descent from them, talk big of our ancient families, and long +originals, and stand at a distance from foreigners, like the +enthusiast in religion, with a Stand off, I am more holy than thou: +this is a thing so ridiculous, in a nation derived from foreigners, as +we are, that I could not but attack them as I have done.</p> + +<p>And whereas I am threatened to be called to a public account for this +freedom; and the publisher of this has been newspapered into gaol +already for it; tho' I see nothing in it for which the government can +be displeased; yet if at the same time those people who with an +unlimited arrogance in print, every day affront the king, prescribe +the parliament, and lampoon the government, may be either punished or +restrained, I am content to stand and fall by the public justice of my +native country, which I am not sensible I have anywhere injured.</p> + +<p>Nor would I be misunderstood concerning the clergy; with whom, if I +have taken any license more than becomes a Satire, I question not but +those gentlemen, who are men of letters, are also men of so much +candor, as to allow me a loose at the crimes of the guilty, without +thinking the whole profession lashed who are innocent. I profess to +have very mean thoughts of those gentlemen who have deserted their own +principles, and exposed even their morals as well as loyality; but not +at all to think it affects any but such as are concerned in the fact.</p> + +<p>Nor would I be misrepresented as to the ingratitude of the English to +the king and his friends; as if I meant the English as a nation, are +so. The contrary is so apparent, that I would hope it should not be +suggested of me: and, therefore when I have brought in Britannia +speaking of the king, I suppose her to be the representative or mouth +of the nation, as a body. But if I say we are full of such who daily +affront the king, and abuse his friends; who print scurrilous +pamphlets, virulent lampoons, and reproachful public banters, against +both the king's person and his government; I say nothing but what is +too true; and that the Satire is directed at such, I freely own; and +cannot say, but I should think it very hard to be censured for this +Satire, while such remain unquestioned and tacitly approved. That I +can mean none but such, is plain from these few lines, +<span title="Transcriber's Note: This reference is to a page number in the 1855 reprint edition."><a href="#Ye_heavens">page 453</a></span>.</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" summary="lines"> +<tr> +<td> +Ye heavens regard! Almighty Jove, look down,<br /> +And view thy injured monarch on the throne.<br /> +On their ungrateful heads due vengeance take,<br /> +Who sought his aid, and then his part forsake. +</td> +</tr> +</table> + +<p>If I have fallen rudely upon our vices, I hope none but the vicious +will be angry. As for writing for interest, I disown it; I have +neither place, nor pension, nor prospect; nor seek none, nor will have +none: if matter of fact justifies the truth of the crimes, the Satire +is just. As to the poetic liberties, I hope the crime is pardonable; I +am content to be stoned, provided none will attack me but the +innocent.</p> + +<p>If my countrymen would take the hint, and grow better natured from my +ill-natured poem as some call it; I would say this of it, that though +it is far from the best Satire that ever was wrote, it would do the +most good that ever Satire did.</p> + +<p>And yet I am ready to ask pardon of some gentlemen too; who though +they are Englishmen, have good nature enough to see themselves +reproved, and can hear it. These are gentlemen in a true sense, that +can bare to be told of their <i>faux pas</i>, and not abuse the reprover. +To such I must say, this is no Satire; they are exceptions to the +general rule; and I value my performance from their generous +approbation, more than I can from any opinion I have of its worth.</p> + +<p>The hasty errors of my verse I made my excuse for before; and since +the time I have been upon it has been but little, and my leisure less, +I have all along strove rather to make the thoughts explicit, than the +poem correct. However, I have mended some faults in this edition, and +the rest must be placed to my account.</p> + +<p>As to answers, banters, true English Billingsgate, I expect them till +nobody will buy, and then the shop will be shut. Had I wrote it for +the gain of the press, I should have been concerned at its being +printed again, and again, by pirates, as they call them, and +paragraph-men; but would they but do it justice, and print it true, +according to the copy, they are welcome to sell it for a penny, if +they please.</p> + +<p>The pence, indeed, is the end of their works. I will engage if nobody +will buy, nobody will write: and not a patriot poet of them all, now +will in defence of his native country, which I have abused, they say, +print an answer to it, and give it about for God's sake.</p> + + + +<hr /> +<h2><a name="PREFACE" id="PREFACE"></a>PREFACE.</h2> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> end of satire is reformation: and the author, though he doubt the +work of conversion is at a general stop, has put his hand in the +plough. I expect a storm of ill language from the fury of the town. +And especially from those whose English talent it is to rail: and, +without being taken for a conjuror, I may venture to foretel, that I +shall be cavilled at about my mean style, rough verse, and incorrect +language, things I indeed might have taken more care in. But the book +is printed; and though I see some faults, it is too late to mend them. +And this is all I think needful to say to them.</p> + +<p>Possibly somebody may take me for a Dutchman; in which they are +mistaken: but I am one that would be glad to see Englishmen behave +themselves better to strangers, and to governors also, that one might +not be reproached in foreign countries for belonging to a nation that +wants manners.</p> + +<p>I assure you, gentlemen, strangers use us better abroad; and we can +give no reason but our ill-nature for the contrary here.</p> + +<p>Methinks an Englishman who is so proud of being called a good fellow, +should be civil. And it cannot be denied, but we are, in many cases, +and particularly to strangers, the most churlish people alive.</p> + +<p>As to vices, who can dispute our intemperance, while an honest drunken +fellow is a character in a man's praise? All our reformations are +banters, and will be so till our magistrates and gentry reform +themselves, by way of example; then, and not till then, they may be +expected to punish others without blushing.</p> + +<p>As to our ingratitude, I desire to be understood of that particular +people, who pretending to be Protestants, have all along endeavoured +to reduce the liberties and religion of this nation into the hands of +King James and his Popish powers: together with such who enjoy the +peace and protection of the present government, and yet abuse and +affront the king who procured it, and openly profess their uneasiness +under him: these, by whatsoever names or titles they are dignified or +distinguished, are the people aimed at; nor do I disown, but that it +is so much the temper of an Englishman to abuse his benefactor, that I +could be glad to see it rectified.</p> + +<p>They who think I have been guilty of any error, in exposing the crimes +of my own countrymen to themselves, may, among many honest instances +of the like nature, find the same thing in Mr. Cowley, in his +imitation of the second Olympic Ode of Pindar; his words are these:—</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" summary="lines"> +<tr> +<td> +But in this thankless world, the givers<br /> +Are envied even by the receivers.<br /> +'Tis now the cheap and frugal fashion,<br /> +Rather to hide than pay an obligation.<br /> +Nay, 'tis much worse than so;<br /> +It now an artifice doth grow,<br /> +Wrongs and outrages they do,<br /> +Lest men should think we owe. +</td> +</tr> +</table> + + + +<hr /> +<h2><a name="THE_INTRODUCTION" id="THE_INTRODUCTION"></a>THE INTRODUCTION.</h2> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p> +<span class="smcap">Speak</span>, Satire, for there's none can tell like thee,<br /> +Whether 'tis folly, pride, or knavery,<br /> +That makes this discontented land appear<br /> +Less happy now in times of peace, than war:<br /> +Why civil feuds disturb the nation more,<br /> +Than all our bloody wars have done before.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Fools</span> out of favour grudge at knaves in place,</span><br /> +And men are always honest in disgrace:<br /> +The court preferments make men knaves in course:<br /> +But they which wou'd be in them wou'd be worse.<br /> +'Tis not at foreigners that we repine,<br /> +Wou'd foreigners their perquisites resign:<br /> +The grand contention's plainly to be seen,<br /> +To get some men put out, and some put in.<br /> +For this our Senators make long harangues.<br /> +And florid Ministers whet their polish'd tongues.<br /> +Statesmen are always sick of one disease;<br /> +And a good pension gives them present ease.<br /> +That's the specific makes them all content<br /> +With any King and any government.<br /> +Good patriots at court abuses rail,<br /> +And all the nation's grievances bewail:<br /> +But when the sov'reign balsam's once apply'd,<br /> +The zealot never fails to change his side;<br /> +And when he must the golden key resign,<br /> +The railing spirit comes about again.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Who</span> shall this bubbl'd nation disabuse,</span><br /> +While they their own felicities refuse?<br /> +Who at the wars have made such mighty pother,<br /> +And now are falling out with one another:<br /> +With needless fears the jealous nations fill,<br /> +And always have been sav'd against their will:<br /> +Who fifty millions sterling have disburs'd<br /> +To be with peace, and too much plenty, curs'd;<br /> +Who their old monarch eagerly undo,<br /> +And yet uneasily obey the new.<br /> +Search, Satire, search; a deep incision make:<br /> +The poison's strong, the antidote's too weak.<br /> +'Tis pointed truth must manage this dispute,<br /> +And down-right English, Englishmen confute.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Whet</span> thy just anger at the nation's pride;</span><br /> +And with keen phrase repel the vicious tide,<br /> +To Englishmen their own beginnings show,<br /> +And ask them, why they slight their neighbours so:<br /> +Go back to elder times, and ages past,<br /> +And nations into long oblivion cast;<br /> +To elder Britain's youthful days retire,<br /> +And there for true-born Englishmen inquire,<br /> +Britannia freely will disown the name,<br /> +And hardly knows herself from whence they came;<br /> +Wonders that they of all men should pretend<br /> +To birth, and blood, and for a name contend.<br /> +Go back to causes where our follies dwell,<br /> +And fetch the dark original from hell:<br /> +Speak, Satire, for there's none like thee can tell.<br /> +</p> + + + +<hr /> +<h2><a name="TRUE-BORN" id="TRUE-BORN"></a><span class="sm">THE</span><br /> +<br /> +TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN.</h2> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<h3><a name="PART_I" id="PART_I"></a>PART I.</h3> + +<p> +<span class="smcap">Wherever</span> God erects a house of prayer,<br /> +The Devil always builds a chapel there:<br /> +And 'twill be found upon examination,<br /> +The latter has the largest congregation:<br /> +For ever since he first debauch'd the mind,<br /> +He made a perfect conquest of mankind.<br /> +With uniformity of service, he<br /> +Reigns with general aristocracy.<br /> +No non-conforming sects disturb his reign,<br /> +For of his yoke, there's very few complain.<br /> +He knows the genius and the inclination,<br /> +And matches proper sins for ev'ry nation.<br /> +He needs no standing army government;<br /> +He always rules us by our own consent:<br /> +His laws are easy, and his gentle sway<br /> +Makes it exceeding pleasant to obey.<br /> +The list of his vicegerents and commanders,<br /> +Out-does your Cæsars, or your Alexanders.<br /> +They never fail of his infernal aid,<br /> +And he's as certain ne'er to be betray'd.<br /> +Thro' all the world they spread his vast command,<br /> +And death's eternal empire is maintain'd.<br /> +They rule so politicly and so well,<br /> +As if they were Lords Justices of hell;<br /> +Duly divided to debauch mankind,<br /> +And plant infernal dictates in his mind.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Pride</span>, the first peer, and president of hell,</span><br /> +To his share, Spain, the largest province fell.<br /> +The subtle Prince thought fittest to bestow<br /> +On these the golden mines of Mexico,<br /> +With all the silver mountains of Peru;<br /> +Wealth which in wise hands would the world undo;<br /> +Because he knew their genius was such,<br /> +Too lazy and too haughty to be rich:<br /> +So proud a people, so above their fate,<br /> +That, if reduced to beg, they'll beg in state:<br /> +Lavish of money, to be counted brave,<br /> +And proudly starve, because they scorn to save;<br /> +Never was nation in the world before,<br /> +So very rich, and yet so very poor.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Lust</span> chose the torrid zone of Italy,</span><br /> +Where blood ferments in rapes and sodomy:<br /> +Where swelling veins o'erflow with living streams,<br /> +With heat impregnate from Vesuvian flames;<br /> +Whose flowing sulphur forms infernal lakes,<br /> +And human body of the soil partakes.<br /> +There nature ever burns with hot desires,<br /> +Fann'd with luxuriant air from subterranean fires:<br /> +Here undisturbed, in floods of scalding lust,<br /> +Th' infernal king reigns with infernal gust.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Drunkenness</span>, the darling favourite of hell,</span><br /> +Chose Germany to rule; and rules so well,<br /> +No subjects more obsequiously obey,<br /> +None please so well, or are so pleased as they;<br /> +The cunning artist manages so well,<br /> +He lets them bow to heav'n, and drink to hell.<br /> +If but to wine and him they homage pay,<br /> +He cares not to what deity they pray;<br /> +What god they worship most, or in what way.<br /> +Whether by Luther, Calvin, or by Rome,<br /> +They sail for heaven, by wine he steers them home.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Ungovern'd passion</span> settled first in France,</span><br /> +Where mankind lives in haste, and thrives by chance;<br /> +A dancing nation, fickle and untrue,<br /> +Have oft undone themselves, and others too;<br /> +Prompt the infernal dictates to obey,<br /> +And in hell's favour none more great than they.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> pagan world he blindly leads away,</span><br /> +And personally rules with arbitrary sway:<br /> +The mask thrown off, plain devil, his title stands;<br /> +And what elsewhere he tempts, he there commands;<br /> +There, with full gust, th' ambition of his mind,<br /> +Governs, as he of old in heaven design'd:<br /> +Worshipp'd as God, his Paynim altars smoke,<br /> +Imbrued with blood of those that him invoke.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> rest by deputies he rules so well,</span><br /> +And plants the distant colonies of hell;<br /> +By them his secret power he firm maintains,<br /> +And binds the world in his infernal chains.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">By</span> zeal the Irish, and the Russ by folly,</span><br /> +Fury the Dane, the Swede by melancholy;<br /> +By stupid ignorance, the Muscovite;<br /> +The Chinese, by a child of hell, call'd wit;<br /> +Wealth makes the Persian too effeminate;<br /> +And poverty the Tartar desperate:<br /> +The Turks and Moors, by Mah'met he subdues;<br /> +And God has given him leave to rule the Jews:<br /> +Rage rules the Portuguese, and fraud the Scotch;<br /> +Revenge the Pole, and avarice the Dutch.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Satire</span>, be kind, and draw a silent veil,</span><br /> +Thy native England's vices to conceal:<br /> +Or, if that task's impossible to do,<br /> +At least be just, and show her virtues too;<br /> +Too great the first, alas! the last too few.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">England</span>, unknown, as yet unpeopled lay,—</span><br /> +Happy, had she remain'd so to this day,<br /> +And still to ev'ry nation been a prey.<br /> +Her open harbours, and her fertile plains,<br /> +The merchant's glory these, and those the swain's,<br /> +To ev'ry barbarous nation have betray'd her;<br /> +Who conquer her as oft as they invade her,<br /> +So beauty, guarded out by Innocence,<br /> +That ruins her which should be her defence.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Ingratitude</span>, a devil of black renown,</span><br /> +Possess'd her very early for his own:<br /> +An ugly, surly, sullen, selfish spirit,<br /> +Who Satan's worst perfections does inherit;<br /> +Second to him in malice and in force,<br /> +All devil without, and all within him worse.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">He</span> made her first-born race to be so rude,</span><br /> +And suffer'd her to be so oft subdued;<br /> +By sev'ral crowds of wandering thieves o'er-run,<br /> +Often unpeopled, and as oft undone;<br /> +While ev'ry nation that her powers reduced,<br /> +Their languages and manners introduced;<br /> +From whose mix'd relics our compounded breed,<br /> +By spurious generation does succeed;<br /> +Making a race uncertain and uneven,<br /> +Derived from all the nations under heaven.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> Romans first with Julius Cæsar came,</span><br /> +Including all the nations of that name,<br /> +Gauls, Greek, and Lombards; and, by computation,<br /> +Auxiliaries or slaves of ev'ry nation.<br /> +With Hengist, Saxons; Danes with Sweno came,<br /> +In search of plunder, not in search of fame.<br /> +Scots, Picts, and Irish from th' Hibernian shore;<br /> +And conq'ring William brought the Normans o'er.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">All</span> these their barb'rous offspring left behind,</span><br /> +The dregs of armies, they of all mankind;<br /> +Blended with Britons, who before were here,<br /> +Of whom the Welch ha' blest the character.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">From</span> this amphibious, ill-born mob began,</span><br /> +That vain ill-natured thing, an Englishman.<br /> +The customs, sirnames, languages, and manners,<br /> +Of all these nations, are their own explainers;<br /> +Whose relics are so lasting and so strong,<br /> +They've left a Shiboleth upon our tongue;<br /> +By which, with easy search, you may distinguish<br /> +Your Roman, Saxon, Danish, Norman, English.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> great invading Norman let us know</span><br /> +What conquerors in after-times might do.<br /> +To every musqueteer he brought to town,<br /> +He gave the lands which never were his own;<br /> +When first the English crown he did obtain,<br /> +He did not send his Dutchmen home again.<br /> +No re-assumptions in his reign were known,<br /> +Davenant might there ha' let his book alone.<br /> +No parliament his army could disband;<br /> +He raised no money, for he paid in land.<br /> +He gave his legions their eternal station,<br /> +And made them all freeholders of the nation.<br /> +He canton'd out the country to his men,<br /> +And every soldier was a denizen.<br /> +The rascals thus enrich'd, he called them lords,<br /> +To please their upstart pride with new-made words,<br /> +And doomsday book his tyranny records.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">And</span> here begins the ancient pedigree</span><br /> +That so exalts our poor nobility.<br /> +'Tis that from some French trooper they derive,<br /> +Who with the Norman bastard did arrive:<br /> +The trophies of the families appear;<br /> +Some show the sword, the bow, and some the spear,<br /> +Which their great ancestor, forsooth, did wear.<br /> +These in the herald's register remain,<br /> +Their noble mean extraction to explain,<br /> +Yet who the hero was no man can tell,<br /> +Whether a drummer or a colonel:<br /> +The silent record blushes to reveal<br /> +Their undescended dark original.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">But</span> grant the best. How came the change to pass;</span><br /> +A true-born Englishman of Norman race?<br /> +A Turkish horse can show more history,<br /> +To prove his well-descended family.<br /> +Conquest, as by the moderns 'tis express'd,<br /> +May give a title to the lands possess'd;<br /> +But that the longest sword should be so civil,<br /> +To make a Frenchman English, that's the devil.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">These</span> are the heroes that despise the Dutch,</span><br /> +And rail at new-come foreigners so much;<br /> +Forgetting that themselves are all derived<br /> +From the most scoundrel race that ever lived;<br /> +A horrid crowd of rambling thieves and drones<br /> +Who ransack'd kingdoms, and dispeopled towns;<br /> +The Pict and painted Briton, treach'rous Scot,<br /> +By hunger, theft, and rapine, hither brought;<br /> +Norwegian pirates, buccaneering Danes,<br /> +Whose red-hair'd offspring everywhere remains;<br /> +Who, join'd with Norman French, compound the breed<br /> +From whence your true-born Englishmen proceed.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">And</span> lest, by length of time, it be pretended,</span><br /> +The climate may this modern breed have mended;<br /> +Wise Providence, to keep us where we are,<br /> +Mixes us daily with exceeding care;<br /> +We have been Europe's sink, the jakes, where she<br /> +Voids all her offal out-cast progeny;<br /> +From our fifth Henry's time the strolling bands,<br /> +Of banish'd fugitives from neighb'ring lands,<br /> +Have here a certain sanctuary found:<br /> +The eternal refuge of the vagabond,<br /> +Where in but half a common age of time,<br /> +Borrowing new blood and manners from the clime,<br /> +Proudly they learn all mankind to contemn,<br /> +And all their race are true-born Englishmen.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Dutch</span> Walloons, Flemmings, Irishmen, and Scots,</span><br /> +Vaudois, and Valtolins, and Hugonots,<br /> +In good Queen Bess's charitable reign,<br /> +Supplied us with three hundred thousand men:<br /> +Religion—God, we thank thee!—sent them hither,<br /> +Priests, Protestants, the devil, and all together;<br /> +Of all professions, and of ev'ry trade,<br /> +All that were persecuted or afraid:<br /> +Whether for debt, or other crimes, they fled,<br /> +David at Hackelah was still their head.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> offspring of this miscellaneous crowd,</span><br /> +Had not their new plantations long enjoy'd,<br /> +But they grew Englishmen, and raised their votes,<br /> +At foreign shoals of interloping Scots;<br /> +The royal branch from Pict-land did succeed,<br /> +With troops of Scots and scabs from north of Tweed;<br /> +The seven first years of his pacific reign,<br /> +Made him and half his nation Englishmen.<br /> +Scots from the northern frozen banks of Tay,<br /> +With packs and plods came whigging all away,<br /> +Thick as the locusts which in Egypt swarm'd,<br /> +With pride and hungry hopes completely arm'd;<br /> +With native truth, diseases, and no money,<br /> +Plunder'd our Canaan of the milk and honey;<br /> +Here they grew quickly lords and gentlemen,<br /> +And all their race are true-born Englishmen.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> civil wars, the common purgative,</span><br /> +Which always use to make the nation thrive,<br /> +Made way for all that strolling congregation,<br /> +Which throng'd in pious Charles's restoration.<br /> +The royal refugee our breed restores,<br /> +With foreign courtiers, and with foreign whores:<br /> +And carefully re-peopled us again,<br /> +Throughout his lazy, long, lascivious reign,<br /> +With such a blest and true-born English fry,<br /> +As much illustrates our nobility.<br /> +A gratitude which will so black appear,<br /> +As future ages must abhor to bear:<br /> +When they look back on all that crimson flood,<br /> +Which stream'd in Lindsey's, and Caernarvon's blood;<br /> +Bold Strafford, Cambridge, Capel, Lucas, Lisle,<br /> +Who crown'd in death his father's fun'ral pile.<br /> +The loss of whom, in order to supply<br /> +With true-born English nobility,<br /> +Six bastard dukes survive his luscious reign,<br /> +The labours of Italian Castlemain,<br /> +French Portsmouth, Tabby Scott, and Cambrian;<br /> +Besides the num'rous bright and virgin throng,<br /> +Whose female glories shade them from my song.<br /> +This offspring if our age they multiply,<br /> +May half the house with English peers supply:<br /> +There with true English pride they may contemn<br /> +Schomberg and Portland, new-made noblemen.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">French</span> cooks, Scotch pedlars, and Italian whores,</span><br /> +Were all made lords or lords' progenitors.<br /> +Beggars and bastards by this new creation<br /> +Much multiplied the peerage of the nation;<br /> +Who will be all, ere one short age runs o'er,<br /> +As true-born lords as those we had before.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Then</span> to recruit the commons he prepares,</span><br /> +And heal the latent breaches of the wars;<br /> +The pious purpose better to advance,<br /> +He invites the banish'd Protestants of France;<br /> +Hither for God's sake, and their own, they fled<br /> +Some for religion came, and some for bread:<br /> +Two hundred thousand pair of wooden shoes,<br /> +Who, God be thank'd, had nothing left to lose;<br /> +To heaven's great praise did for religion fly,<br /> +To make us starve our poor in charity.<br /> +In ev'ry port they plant their fruitful train,<br /> +To get a race of true-born Englishmen;<br /> +Whose children will, when riper years they see,<br /> +Be as ill-natured, and as proud as we;<br /> +Call themselves English, foreigners despise,<br /> +Be surly like us all, and just as wise.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Thus</span> from a mixture of all kinds began,</span><br /> +That heterogeneous thing, an Englishman:<br /> +In eager rapes, and furious lust begot,<br /> +Betwixt a painted Briton and a Scot:<br /> +Whose gend'ring offspring quickly learn'd to bow,<br /> +And yoke their heifers to the Roman plough;<br /> +From whence a mongrel half-bred race there came,<br /> +With neither name nor nation, speech or fame,<br /> +In whose hot veins new mixtures quickly ran,<br /> +Infused betwixt a Saxon and a Dane;<br /> +While their rank daughters, to their parents just,<br /> +Received all nations with promiscuous lust.<br /> +This nauseous brood directly did contain<br /> +The well-extracted blood of Englishmen.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Which</span> medley, canton'd in a heptarchy,</span><br /> +A rhapsody of nations to supply,<br /> +Among themselves maintain'd eternal wars,<br /> +And still the ladies loved the conquerors.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> Western Angles all the rest subdued,</span><br /> +A bloody nation, barbarous and rude;<br /> +Who by the tenure of the sword possess'd<br /> +One part of Britain, and subdued the rest:<br /> +And as great things denominate the small,<br /> +The conquering part gave title to the whole;<br /> +The Scot, Pict, Briton, Roman, Dane, submit,<br /> +And with the English Saxon all unite:<br /> +And these the mixture have so close pursued,<br /> +The very name and memory's subdued;<br /> +No Roman now, no Briton does remain;<br /> +Wales strove to separate, but strove in vain:<br /> +The silent nations undistinguish'd fall,<br /> +And Englishman's the common name for all.<br /> +Fate jumbled them together, God knows how;<br /> +Whate'er they were, they're true-born English now.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> wonder which remains is at our pride,</span><br /> +To value that which all wise men deride;<br /> +For Englishmen to boast of generation<br /> +Cancels their knowledge, and lampoons the nation,<br /> +A true-born Englishman's a contradiction,<br /> +In speech an irony, in fact a fiction:<br /> +A banter made to be a test of fools,<br /> +Which those that use it justly ridicules;<br /> +A metaphor intended to express,<br /> +A man a-kin to all the universe.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">For</span> as the Scots, as learned men have said,</span><br /> +Throughout the world their wand'ring seed have spread,<br /> +So open-handed England, 'tis believed,<br /> +Has all the gleanings of the world received.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Some</span> think of England, 'twas our Saviour meant,</span><br /> +The Gospel should to all the world be sent:<br /> +Since when the blessed sound did hither reach,<br /> +They to all nations might be said to preach.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">'Tis</span> well that virtue gives nobility,</span><br /> +Else God knows where had we our gentry,<br /> +Since scarce one family is left alive,<br /> +Which does not from some foreigner derive.<br /> +Of sixty thousand English gentlemen,<br /> +Whose names and arms in registers remain,<br /> +We challenge all our heralds to declare<br /> +Ten families which English Saxons are.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">France</span> justly boasts the ancient noble line</span><br /> +Of Bourbon, Montmorency, and Lorraine.<br /> +The Germans too, their house of Austria show,<br /> +And Holland, their invincible Nassau.<br /> +Lines which in heraldry were ancient grown,<br /> +Before the name of Englishman was known.<br /> +Even Scotland, too, her elder glory shows,<br /> +Her Gordons, Hamiltons, and her Monro's;<br /> +Douglas', Mackays, and Grahams, names well known,<br /> +Long before ancient England knew her own.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">But</span> England, modern to the last degree,</span><br /> +Borrows or makes her own nobility,<br /> +And yet she boldly boasts of pedigree;<br /> +Repines that foreigners are put upon her,<br /> +And talks of her antiquity and honour:<br /> +Her Sackvills, Savils, Cecils, Delamers,<br /> +Mohuns, Montagues, Duras, and Veeres,<br /> +Not one have English names, yet all are English peers.<br /> +Your Houblons, Papillons, and Lethuliers,<br /> +Pass now for true-born English knights and squires,<br /> +And make good senate-members, or lord-mayors.<br /> +Wealth, howsoever got, in England makes<br /> +Lords of mechanics, gentlemen of rakes.<br /> +Antiquity and birth are needless here;<br /> +'Tis impudence and money makes a peer.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Innumerable</span> city knights we know,</span><br /> +From Blue-coat Hospitals, and Bridewell flow.<br /> +Draymen and porters fill the city chair,<br /> +And foot-boys magisterial purple wear.<br /> +Fate has but very small distinction set<br /> +Betwixt the counter and the coronet.<br /> +Tarpaulin lords, pages of high renown,<br /> +Rise up by poor men's valour, not their own;<br /> +Great families of yesterday we show,<br /> +And lords, whose parents were the Lord knows who.<br /> +</p> + +<hr class="med" /> + +<h3><a name="PART_II" id="PART_II"></a>PART II.</h3> + +<p> +<span class="smcap">The</span> breed's described: now, Satire, if you can,<br /> +Their temper show, for manners make the man.<br /> +Fierce as the Briton, as the Roman brave,<br /> +And less inclined to conquer than to save;<br /> +Eager to fight, and lavish of their blood,<br /> +And equally of fear and forecast void.<br /> +The Pict has made them sour, the Dane morose,<br /> +False from the Scot, and from the Norman worse.<br /> +What honesty they have, the Saxon gave them,<br /> +And that, now they grow old, begins to leave them.<br /> +The climate makes them terrible and bold:<br /> +And English beef their courage does uphold:<br /> +No danger can their daring spirit dull,<br /> +Always provided when their belly's full.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">In</span> close intrigues, their faculty's but weak;</span><br /> +For, gen'rally, whate'er they know they speak.<br /> +And often their own councils undermine<br /> +By their infirmity, and not design.<br /> +From whence, the learned say, it does proceed,<br /> +That English treason never can succeed:<br /> +For they're so open-hearted, you may know<br /> +Their own most secret thoughts, and others too.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> lab'ring poor, in spite of double pay,</span><br /> +Are saucy, mutinous, and beggarly;<br /> +So lavish of their money and their time,<br /> +That want of forecast is the nation's crime.<br /> +Good drunken company is their delight;<br /> +And what they get by day they spend by night.<br /> +Dull thinking seldom does their heads engage,<br /> +But drink their youth away, and hurry on old age.<br /> +Empty of all good husbandry and sense;<br /> +And void of manners most when void of pence.<br /> +Their strong aversion to behaviour's such,<br /> +They always talk too little or too much.<br /> +So dull, they never take the pains to think;<br /> +And seldom are good natured but in drink.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">In</span> English ale their dear enjoyment lies,</span><br /> +For which they starve themselves and families.<br /> +An Englishman will fairly drink as much,<br /> +As will maintain two families of Dutch:<br /> +Subjecting all their labours to the pots;<br /> +The greatest artists are the greatest sots.<br /> +The country poor do by example live;<br /> +The gentry lead them, and the clergy drive;<br /> +What may we not from such examples hope?<br /> +The landlord is their god, the priest their pope;<br /> +A drunken clergy, and a swearing bench,<br /> +Has given the reformation such a drench,<br /> +As wise men think, there is some cause to doubt,<br /> +Will purge good manners and religion out.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Nor</span> do the poor alone their liquor prize,</span><br /> +The sages join in this great sacrifice;<br /> +The learned men who study Aristotle,<br /> +Correct him with an explanation bottle:<br /> +Praise Epicurus rather than Lysander,<br /> +And Aristippus more than Alexander;<br /> +The doctors too their Galen here resign,<br /> +And generally prescribe specific wine;<br /> +The graduate's study's grown an easy task,<br /> +While for the urinal they toss the flask;<br /> +The surgeon's art grows plainer every hour,<br /> +And wine's the balm which into wounds they pour.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Poets</span> long since Parnassus have forsaken,</span><br /> +And say the ancient bards were all mistaken.<br /> +Apollo's lately abdicate and fled,<br /> +And good king Bacchus reigneth in his stead:<br /> +He does the chaos of the head refine,<br /> +And atom thoughts jump into words by wine:<br /> +The inspiration's of a finer nature,<br /> +As wine must needs excel Parnassus water.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Statesmen</span> their weighty politics refine,</span><br /> +And soldiers raise their courages by wine.<br /> +Cecilia gives her choristers their choice,<br /> +And lets them all drink wine to clear the voice.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Some</span> think the clergy first found out the way,</span><br /> +And wine's the only spirit by which they pray.<br /> +But others, less profane than so, agree,<br /> +It clears the lungs, and helps the memory:<br /> +And, therefore, all of them divinely think,<br /> +Instead of study, 'tis as well to drink.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">And</span> here I would be very glad to know,</span><br /> +Whether our Asgilites may drink or no;<br /> +The enlightening fumes of wine would certainly<br /> +Assist them much when they begin to fly;<br /> +Or if a fiery chariot should appear,<br /> +Inflamed by wine, they'd have the less to fear.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Even</span> the gods themselves, as mortals say,</span><br /> +Were they on earth, would be as drunk as they:<br /> +Nectar would be no more celestial drink,<br /> +They'd all take wine, to teach them how to think.<br /> +But English drunkards, gods and men outdo,<br /> +Drink their estates away, and senses too.<br /> +Colon's in debt, and if his friend should fail<br /> +To help him out, must die at last in jail:<br /> +His wealthy uncle sent a hundred nobles,<br /> +To pay his trifles off, and rid him of his troubles:<br /> +But Colon, like a true-born Englishman,<br /> +Drunk all the money out in bright champaign,<br /> +And Colon does in custody remain.<br /> +Drunk'ness has been the darling of the realm,<br /> +E'er since a drunken pilot had the helm.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">In</span> their religion, they're so uneven,</span><br /> +That each man goes his own byway to heaven.<br /> +Tenacious of mistakes to that degree,<br /> +That ev'ry man pursues it sep'rately,<br /> +And fancies none can find the way but he:<br /> +So shy of one another they are grown,<br /> +As if they strove to get to heaven alone.<br /> +Rigid and zealous, positive and grave,<br /> +And ev'ry grace, but charity, they have;<br /> +This makes them so ill-natured and uncivil,<br /> +That all men think an Englishman the devil.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Surly</span> to strangers, froward to their friend,</span><br /> +Submit to love with a reluctant mind,<br /> +Resolved to be ungrateful and unkind.<br /> +If, by necessity, reduced to ask,<br /> +The giver has the difficultest task:<br /> +For what's bestow'd they awkwardly receive,<br /> +And always take less freely than they give;<br /> +The obligation is their highest grief,<br /> +They never love where they accept relief;<br /> +So sullen in their sorrows, that 'tis known<br /> +They'll rather die than their afflictions own;<br /> +And if relieved, it is too often true,<br /> +That they'll abuse their benefactors too;<br /> +For in distress their haughty stomach's such,<br /> +They hate to see themselves obliged too much;<br /> +Seldom contented, often in the wrong,<br /> +Hard to be pleased at all, and never long.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">If</span> your mistakes there ill opinion gain,</span><br /> +No merit can their favour re-obtain:<br /> +And if they're not vindictive in their fury,<br /> +'Tis their inconstant temper does secure ye:<br /> +Their brain's so cool, their passion seldom burns;<br /> +For all's condensed before the flame returns:<br /> +The fermentation's of so weak a matter,<br /> +The humid damps the flame, and runs it all to water;<br /> +So though the inclination may be strong,<br /> +They're pleased by fits, and never angry long:<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Then</span>, if good-nature show some slender proof,</span><br /> +They never think they have reward enough;<br /> +But, like our modern Quakers of the town,<br /> +Expect your manners, and return you none.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Friendship</span>, th' abstracted union of the mind,</span><br /> +Which all men seek, but very few can find;<br /> +Of all the nations in the universe,<br /> +None can talk on't more, or understand it less;<br /> +For if it does their property annoy,<br /> +Their property their friendship will destroy.<br /> +As you discourse them, you shall hear them tell<br /> +All things in which they think they do excel:<br /> +No panegyric needs their praise record,<br /> +An Englishman ne'er wants his own good word.<br /> +His first discourses gen'rally appear,<br /> +Prologued with his own wond'rous character:<br /> +When, to illustrate his own good name,<br /> +He never fails his neighbour to defame.<br /> +And yet he really designs no wrong,<br /> +His malice goes no further than his tongue.<br /> +But, pleased to tattle, he delights to rail,<br /> +To satisfy the letch'ry of a tale.<br /> +His own dear praises close the ample speech,<br /> +Tells you how wise he is, that is, how rich:<br /> +For wealth is wisdom; he that's rich is wise;<br /> +And all men learned poverty despise:<br /> +His generosity comes next, and then<br /> +Concludes, that he's a true-born Englishman;<br /> +And they, 'tis known, are generous and free,<br /> +Forgetting, and forgiving injury:<br /> +Which may be true, thus rightly understood,<br /> +Forgiving ill turns, and forgetting good.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Cheerful</span> in labour when they've undertook it,</span><br /> +But out of humour, when they're out of pocket.<br /> +But if their belly and their pocket's full,<br /> +They may be phlegmatic, but never dull:<br /> +And if a bottle does their brains refine,<br /> +It makes their wit as sparkling as their wine.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">As</span> for the general vices which we find,</span><br /> +They're guilty of in common with mankind,<br /> +Satire forbear, and silently endure,<br /> +We must conceal the crimes we cannot cure;<br /> +Nor shall my verse the brighter sex defame,<br /> +For English beauty will preserve her name;<br /> +Beyond dispute agreeable and fair,<br /> +And modester than other nations are;<br /> +For where the vice prevails, the great temptation<br /> +Is want of money more than inclination;<br /> +In general this only is allow'd,<br /> +They're something noisy, and a little proud.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">An</span> Englishman is gentlest in command,</span><br /> +Obedience is a stranger in the land:<br /> +Hardly subjected to the magistrate;<br /> +For Englishmen do all subjection hate.<br /> +Humblest when rich, but peevish when they're poor,<br /> +And think whate'er they have, they merit more.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> meanest English plowman studies law,</span><br /> +And keeps thereby the magistrates in awe,<br /> +Will boldly tell them what they ought to do,<br /> +And sometimes punish their omissions too.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Their</span> liberty and property's so dear,</span><br /> +They scorn their laws or governors to fear;<br /> +So bugbear'd with the name of slavery,<br /> +They can't submit to their own liberty.<br /> +Restraint from ill is freedom to the wise!<br /> +But Englishmen do all restraint despise.<br /> +Slaves to the liquor, drudges to the pots;<br /> +The mob are statesmen, and their statesmen sots.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Their</span> governors, they count such dang'rous things,</span><br /> +That 'tis their custom to affront their kings:<br /> +So jealous of the power their kings possess'd,<br /> +They suffer neither power nor kings to rest.<br /> +The bad with force they eagerly subdue;<br /> +The good with constant clamours they pursue,<br /> +And did King Jesus reign, they'd murmur too.<br /> +A discontented nation, and by far<br /> +Harder to rule in times of peace than war:<br /> +Easily set together by the ears,<br /> +And full of causeless jealousies and fears:<br /> +Apt to revolt, and willing to rebel,<br /> +And never are contented when they're well.<br /> +No government could ever please them long,<br /> +Could tie their hands, or rectify their tongue.<br /> +In this, to ancient Israel well compared,<br /> +Eternal murmurs are among them heard.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">It</span> was but lately, that they were oppress'd,</span><br /> +Their rights invaded, and their laws suppress'd:<br /> +When nicely tender of their liberty,<br /> +Lord! what a noise they made of slavery.<br /> +In daily tumults show'd their discontent,<br /> +Lampoon'd their king, and mock'd his government.<br /> +And if in arms they did not first appear,<br /> +'Twas want of force, and not for want of fear.<br /> +In humbler tone than English used to do,<br /> +At foreign hands for foreign aid they sue.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">William</span>, the great successor of Nassau,</span><br /> +Their prayers heard, and their oppressions saw;<br /> +He saw and saved them: God and him they praised<br /> +To this their thanks, to that their trophies raised.<br /> +But glutted with their own felicities,<br /> +They soon their new deliverer despise;<br /> +Say all their prayers back, their joy disown,<br /> +Unsing their thanks, and pull their trophies down;<br /> +Their harps of praise are on the willows hung;<br /> +For Englishmen are ne'er contented long.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> reverend clergy too, and who'd ha' thought</span><br /> +That they who had such non-resistance taught,<br /> +Should e'er to arms against their prince be brought<br /> +Who up to heav'n did regal power advance;<br /> +Subjecting English laws to modes of France<br /> +Twisting religion so with loyalty,<br /> +As one could never live, and t'other die;<br /> +And yet no sooner did their prince design<br /> +Their glebes and perquisites to undermine,<br /> +But all their passive doctrines laid aside,<br /> +The clergy their own principles denied;<br /> +Unpreach'd their non-resisting cant, and pray'd<br /> +To heav'n for help, and to the Dutch for aid;<br /> +The church chimed all her doctrines back again,<br /> +And pulpit-champions did the cause maintain;<br /> +Flew in the face of all their former zeal,<br /> +And non-resistance did at once repeal.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> Rabbi's say it would be too prolix,</span><br /> +To tie religion up to politics,<br /> +The churches' safety is <i>suprema lex</i>:<br /> +And so by a new figure of their own,<br /> +Their former doctrines all at once disown;<br /> +As laws <i>post facto</i> in the parliament,<br /> +In urgent cases have attained assent;<br /> +But are as dangerous precedents laid by,<br /> +Made lawful only by necessity.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> rev'rend fathers then in arms appear,</span><br /> +And men of God became the men of war:<br /> +The nation, fired by them, to arms apply,<br /> +Assault their antichristian monarchy;<br /> +To their due channel all our laws restore,<br /> +And made things what they should have been before.<br /> +But when they came to fill the vacant throne,<br /> +And the pale priests look'd back on what they'd done,<br /> +How England liberty began to thrive,<br /> +And Church of England loyality outlive;<br /> +How all their persecuting days were done,<br /> +And their deliv'rer placed upon the throne:<br /> +The priests, as priests are wont to do, turn'd tail,<br /> +They're Englishmen, and nature will prevail;<br /> +Now they deplore their ruins they have made,<br /> +And murmur for the master they betray'd;<br /> +Excuse those crimes they could not make him mend,<br /> +And suffer for the cause they can't defend;<br /> +Pretend they'd not have carried things so high,<br /> +And proto-martyrs make for popery.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Had</span> the prince done as they design'd the thing,</span><br /> +High set the clergy up to rule the king:<br /> +Taken a donative for coming hither,<br /> +And so have left their king and them together;<br /> +We had, say they, been now a happy nation;<br /> +No doubt we had seen a blessed reformation:<br /> +For wise men say 'tis as dangerous a thing,<br /> +A ruling priesthood, as a priest-rid king;<br /> +And of all plagues with which mankind are curst,<br /> +Ecclesiastic tyranny's the worst.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">If</span> all our former grievances were feign'd,</span><br /> +King James has been abused, and we trepann'd;<br /> +Bugbear'd with popery and power despotic,<br /> +Tyrannic government, and leagues exotic;<br /> +The revolution's a fanatic plot,<br /> +William's a tyrant, King James was not;<br /> +A factious army and a poison'd nation,<br /> +Unjustly forced King James's abdication.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">But</span> if he did the subjects' rights invade,</span><br /> +Then he was punish'd only, not betrayed;<br /> +And punishing of kings is no such crime,<br /> +But Englishmen have done it many a time.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">When</span> kings the sword of justice first lay down,</span><br /> +They are no kings, though they possess the crown.<br /> +Titles are shadows, crowns are empty things,<br /> +The good of subjects is the end of kings;<br /> +To guide in war, and to protect in peace,<br /> +Where tyrants once commence the kings do cease;<br /> +For arbitrary power's so strange a thing,<br /> +It makes the tyrant and unmakes the king:<br /> +If kings by foreign priests and armies reign,<br /> +And lawless power against their oaths maintain,<br /> +Then subjects must have reason to complain:<br /> +If oaths must bind us when our kings do ill,<br /> +To call in foreign aid is to rebel:<br /> +By force to circumscribe our lawful prince,<br /> +Is wilful treason in the largest sense:<br /> +And they who once rebel, must certainly<br /> +Their God, and king, and former oaths defy;<br /> +If ye allow no mal-administration<br /> +Could cancel the allegiance of the nation,<br /> +Let all our learned sons of Levi try,<br /> +This ecclesiastic riddle to untie;<br /> +How they could make a step to call the prince,<br /> +And yet pretend the oath and innocence.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">By</span> th' first address they made beyond the seas,</span><br /> +They're perjur'd in the most intense degrees;<br /> +And without scruple for the time to come,<br /> +May swear to all the kings in Christendom:<br /> +Nay, truly did our kings consider all,<br /> +They'd never let the clergy swear at all,<br /> +Their politic allegiance they'd refuse,<br /> +For whores and priests do never want excuse.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">But</span> if the mutual contract was dissolved,</span><br /> +The doubt's explain'd, the difficulty solved;<br /> +That kings, when they descend to tyranny,<br /> +Dissolve the bond, and leave the subject free;<br /> +The government's ungirt when justice dies,<br /> +And constitutions are nonentities.<br /> +The nation's all a mob, there's no such thing,<br /> +As lords, or commons, parliament, or king;<br /> +A great promiscuous crowd the Hydra lies,<br /> +Till laws revive and mutual contract ties;<br /> +A chaos free to choose for their own share,<br /> +What case of government they please to wear;<br /> +If to a king they do the reins commit,<br /> +All men are bound in conscience to submit;<br /> +But then the king must by his oath assent,<br /> +To <i>Postulata's</i> of the government;<br /> +Which if he breaks he cuts off the entail,<br /> +And power retreats to its original.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">This</span> doctrine has the sanction of assent</span><br /> +From nature's universal Parliament:<br /> +The voice of nations, and the course of things,<br /> +Allow that laws superior are to kings;<br /> +None but delinquents would have justice cease,<br /> +Knaves rail at laws, as soldiers rail at peace:<br /> +For justice is the end of government,<br /> +As reason is the test of argument:<br /> +No man was ever yet so void of sense,<br /> +As to debate the right of self-defence;<br /> +A principle so grafted in the mind,<br /> +With nature born, and does like nature bind;<br /> +Twisted with reason, and with nature too,<br /> +As neither one nor t'other can undo.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Nor</span> can this right be less when national,</span><br /> +Reason which governs one should govern all;<br /> +Whate'er the dialect of courts may tell,<br /> +He that his right demands can ne'er rebel;<br /> +Which right, if 'tis by governors denied,<br /> +May be procured by force or foreign aid;<br /> +For tyranny's a nation's term of grief,<br /> +As folks cry fire to hasten in relief;<br /> +And when the hated word is heard about,<br /> +All men should come to help the people out.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Thus</span> England groan'd, Britannia's voice was heard,</span><br /> +And great Nassau to rescue her appear'd:<br /> +Call'd by the universal voice of fate,<br /> +God and the people's legal magistrate:<br /> +<a name="Ye_heavens" id="Ye_heavens"></a>Ye heavens regard! Almighty Jove look down,<br /> +And view thy injured monarch on the throne;<br /> +On their ungrateful heads due vengeance take<br /> +Who sought his aid, and then his part forsake:<br /> +Witness, ye powers! it was our call alone,<br /> +Which now our pride makes us ashamed to own;<br /> +Britannia's troubles fetch'd him from afar,<br /> +To court the dreadful casualties of war;<br /> +But where requital never can be made,<br /> +Acknowledgment's a tribute seldom paid.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">He</span> dwelt in bright Maria's circling arms,</span><br /> +Defended by the magic of her charms,<br /> +From foreign fears and from domestic harms;<br /> +Ambition found no fuel for her fire,<br /> +He had what God could give or man desire,<br /> +Till pity roused him from his soft repose,<br /> +His life to unseen hazards to expose;<br /> +Till pity moved him in our cause to appear,<br /> +Pity! that word which now we hate to hear;<br /> +But English gratitude is always such,<br /> +To hate the hand that does oblige too much.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Britannia's</span> cries gave birth to his intent,</span><br /> +And hardly gain'd his unforeseen assent;<br /> +His boding thoughts foretold him he should find<br /> +The people fickle, selfish, and unkind;<br /> +Which thought did to his royal heart appear<br /> +More dreadful than the dangers of the war;<br /> +For nothing grates a generous mind so soon,<br /> +As base returns for hearty service done.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Satire</span>, be silent! awfully prepare</span><br /> +Britannia's song, and William's praise to hear;<br /> +Stand by, and let her cheerfully rehearse<br /> +Her grateful vows in her immortal verse.<br /> +Loud fame's eternal trumpet let her sound,<br /> +Listen, ye distant poles, and endless round,<br /> +May the strong blast the welcome news convey,<br /> +As far as sound can reach or spirit fly!<br /> +To neighb'ring worlds, if such there be, relate<br /> +Our heroes fame for theirs to imitate;<br /> +To distant worlds of spirits let her rehearse,<br /> +For spirits without the helps of voice converse:<br /> +May angels hear the gladsome news on high,<br /> +Mix'd with their everlasting symphony;<br /> +And hell itself stand in surprise to know,<br /> +Whether it be the fatal blast or no.<br /> +</p> + +<hr class="med" /> + +<h3><a name="BRITANNIA" id="BRITANNIA"></a>BRITANNIA.</h3> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> fame of virtue 'tis for which I sound,</span><br /> +And heroes with immortal triumphs crown'd;<br /> +Fame built on solid virtue swifter flies,<br /> +Than morning light can spread the eastern skies:<br /> +The gath'ring air returns the doubling sound;<br /> +And loud repeating thunders force it round;<br /> +Echoes return from caverns of the deep,<br /> +Old Chaos dreams on't in eternal sleep:<br /> +Time hands it forward to its latest urn,<br /> +From whence it never, never shall return:<br /> +Nothing is heard so far, or lasts so long,<br /> +'Tis heard by ev'ry ear, and spoke by every tongue.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">My</span> hero, with the sails of honour furl'd,</span><br /> +Rises like the great genius of the world;<br /> +By fate and fame wisely prepared to be<br /> +The soul of war and life of victory;<br /> +He spreads the wings of virtue on the throne,<br /> +And ev'ry wind of glory fans them on;<br /> +Immortal trophies dwell upon his brow,<br /> +Fresh as the garlands he has won but now.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">By</span> different steps the high ascent he gains,</span><br /> +And differently that high ascent maintains:<br /> +Princes for pride and lust of rule make war,<br /> +And struggle for the name of conqueror;<br /> +Some fight for fame, and some for victory,<br /> +He fights to save, and conquers to set free.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Then</span> seek no phrase his titles to conceal,</span><br /> +And hide with words what actions must reveal;<br /> +No parallel from Hebrew stories take,<br /> +Of godlike kings my similies to make;<br /> +No borrowed names conceal my living theme,<br /> +But names and things directly I proclaim;<br /> +His honest merit does his glory raise,<br /> +Whom that exalts let no man fear to praise;<br /> +Of such a subject no man need be shy,<br /> +Virtue's above the reach of flattery;<br /> +He needs no character but his own fame,<br /> +Nor any flattering titles but his own name.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">William's</span> the name that's spoke by every tongue,</span><br /> +William's the darling subject of my song;<br /> +Listen, ye virgins, to the charming sound,<br /> +And in eternal dances hand it round;<br /> +Your early offerings to this altar bring,<br /> +Make him at once a lover and a king;<br /> +May he submit to none but to your arms,<br /> +Nor ever be subdued, but by your charms;<br /> +May your soft thoughts for him be all sublime,<br /> +And ev'ry tender vow be made for him;<br /> +May he be first in ev'ry morning thought,<br /> +And heav'n ne'er hear a prayer where he's left out;<br /> +May every omen, every boding dream,<br /> +Be fortunate by mentioning his name;<br /> +May this one charm infernal powers affright,<br /> +And guard you from the terror of the night;<br /> +May ev'ry cheerful glass as it goes down<br /> +To William's health, be cordials to your own:<br /> +Let ev'ry song be chorust with his name,<br /> +And music pay her tribute to his fame;<br /> +Let ev'ry poet tune his artful verse,<br /> +And in immortal strains his deeds rehearse:<br /> +And may Apollo never more inspire<br /> +The disobedient bard with his seraphic fire<br /> +May all my sons their grateful homage pay,<br /> +His praises sing, and for his safety pray.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Satire</span>, return to our unthankful isle,</span><br /> +Secured by heaven's regards, and William's toil:<br /> +To both ungrateful, and to both untrue,<br /> +Rebels to God, and to good nature too.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">If</span> e'er this nation be distress'd again,</span><br /> +To whomsoe'er they cry, they'll cry in vain;<br /> +To heav'n they cannot have the face to look,<br /> +Or, if they should, it would but heav'n provoke;<br /> +To hope for help from man would be too much,<br /> +Mankind would always tell 'em of the Dutch:<br /> +How they came here our freedoms to maintain,<br /> +Were paid, and cursed, and hurried home again;<br /> +How by their aid we first dissolved our fears,<br /> +And then our helpers damn'd for foreigners:<br /> +'Tis not our English temper to do better,<br /> +For Englishmen think ev'ry one their debtor.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">'Tis</span> worth observing, that we ne'er complain'd</span><br /> +Of foreigners, nor of the wealth we gain'd,<br /> +Till all their services were at an end:<br /> +Wise men affirm it is the English way,<br /> +Never to grumble till they come to pay;<br /> +And then they always think, their temper's such,<br /> +The work too little, and the pay too much.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">As</span> frighted patients, when they want a cure,</span><br /> +Bid any price, and any pain endure:<br /> +But when the doctor's remedies appear,<br /> +The cure's too easy, and the price too dear:<br /> +Great Portland near was banter'd when he strove,<br /> +For us his master's kindest thoughts to move:<br /> +We ne'er lampoon'd his conduct, when employ'd<br /> +King James's secret councils to divide:<br /> +Then we caress'd him as the only man,<br /> +Who could the doubtful oracle explain;<br /> +The only Hushai, able to repel<br /> +The dark designs of our Achitophel:<br /> +Compared his master's courage to his sense,<br /> +The ablest statesman, and the bravest prince;<br /> +On his wise conduct we depended much,<br /> +And liked him ne'er the worse for being Dutch:<br /> +Nor was he valued more than he deserved,<br /> +Freely he ventured, faithfully he served;<br /> +In all King William's dangers he has shared,<br /> +In England's quarrels always he appear'd:<br /> +The revolution first, and then the Boyne,<br /> +In both, his counsels and his conduct shine;<br /> +His martial valour Flanders will confess,<br /> +And France regrets his managing the peace;<br /> +Faithful to England's interest and her king,<br /> +The greatest reason of our murmuring:<br /> +Ten years in English service he appear'd,<br /> +And gain'd his master's and the world's regard;<br /> +But 'tis not England's custom to reward,<br /> +The wars are over, England needs him not;<br /> +Now he's a Dutchman, and the Lord knows what.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Schonbergh</span>, the ablest soldier of his age,</span><br /> +With great Nassau did in our cause engage;<br /> +Both join'd for England's rescue and defence,<br /> +The greatest captain and the greatest prince;<br /> +With what applause his stories did we tell,<br /> +Stories which Europe's volumes largely swell!<br /> +We counted him an army in our aid,<br /> +Where he commanded, no man was afraid;<br /> +His actions with a constant conquest shine,<br /> +From Villa Vitiosa to the Rhine;<br /> +France, Flanders, Germany, his fame confess,<br /> +And all the world was fond of him but us:<br /> +Our turn first served, we grudged him the command,<br /> +Witness the grateful temper of the land.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"><span class="smcap">We</span> blame the King, that he relies too much,</span><br /> +On Strangers, Germans, Hugonots, and Dutch;<br /> +And seldom does his great affairs of state,<br /> +To English counsellors communicate:<br /> +The fact might very well be answer'd thus:<br /> +He had so often been betray'd by us,<br /> +He must have been a madman to rely,<br /> +On English gentlemen's fidelity;<br /> +For, laying other argument aside:<br /> +This thought might mortify our English pride;<br /> +That foreigners have faithfully obey'd him,<br /> +And none but Englishmen have e'er betray'd him:<br /> +They have our ships and merchants bought and sold,<br /> +And barter'd English blood for foreign gold;<br /> +First to the French they sold our Turkey fleet,<br /> +And injured Talmarsh next at Cameret;<br /> +The king himself is shelter'd from their snares,<br /> +Not by his merits, but the crown he wears;<br /> +Experience tells us 'tis the English way,<br /> +Their benefactors always to betray.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"><span class="smcap">And</span>, lest examples should be too remote,</span><br /> +A modern magistrate of famous note,<br /> +Shall give you his own history by rote;<br /> +I'll make it out, deny it he that can,<br /> +His worship is a true-born Englishman;<br /> +By all the latitude that empty word,<br /> +By modern acceptation's understood:<br /> +The parish books his great descent record,<br /> +And now he hopes ere long to be a lord;<br /> +And truly, as things go, it would be pity,<br /> +But such as he bore office in the city;<br /> +While robb'ry for burnt-offering he brings,<br /> +And gives to God what he has stole from kings;<br /> +Great monuments of charity he raises,<br /> +And good St. Magnus whistles out his praises;<br /> +To city jails he grants a jubilee,<br /> +And hires huzza's from his own mobile.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Lately</span> he wore the golden chain and gown,</span><br /> +With which equipp'd he thus harangued the town.<br /> +</p> + + +<hr class="med" /> + +<h3><a name="SPEECH" id="SPEECH"></a>HIS FINE SPEECH, &c.</h3> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">With</span> clouted iron shoes, and sheep-skin breeches,</span><br /> +More rags than manners, and more dirt than riches,<br /> +From driving cows and calves to Leyton market,<br /> +While of my greatness there appear'd no spark yet,<br /> +Behold I come to let you see the pride,<br /> +With which exalted beggars always ride.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"><span class="smcap">Born</span> to the needful labours of the plough,</span><br /> +The cart-whip graced me, as the chain does now.<br /> +Nature and fate in doubt what course to take,<br /> +Whether I should a lord or plough-boy make;<br /> +Kindly at last resolv'd they would promote me,<br /> +And first a knave, and then a knight they vote me.<br /> +What fate appointed, nature did prepare,<br /> +And furnish'd me with an exceeding care,<br /> +To fit me for what they design'd to have me;<br /> +And every gift but honesty they gave me.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">And</span> thus equipp'd, to this proud town I came,</span><br /> +In quest of bread, and not in quest of fame.<br /> +Blind to my future fate, an humble boy,<br /> +Free from the guilt and glory I enjoy.<br /> +The hopes which my ambition entertain'd,<br /> +Where in the name of foot-boy, all contain'd.<br /> +The greatest heights from small beginnings rise;<br /> +The gods were great on earth, before they reach'd the skies.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Backwell</span>, the generous temper of whose mind,</span><br /> +Was always to be bountiful inclin'd:<br /> +Whether by his ill fate or fancy led,<br /> +First took me up, and furnish'd me with bread:<br /> +The little services he put me to,<br /> +Seem'd labours, rather than were truly so.<br /> +But always my advancement he design'd;<br /> +For 'twas his very nature to be kind:<br /> +Large was his soul, his temper ever free;<br /> +The best of masters and of men to me:<br /> +And I who was before decreed by fate,<br /> +To be made infamous as well as great,<br /> +With an obsequious diligence obey'd him,<br /> +Till trusted with his all, and then betray'd him.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">All</span> his past kindnesses I trampled on,</span><br /> +Ruin'd his fortunes to erect my own:<br /> +So vipers in the bosom bred begin,<br /> +To hiss at that hand first which took them in;<br /> +With eager treach'ry I his fall pursu'd,<br /> +And my first trophies were ingratitude.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Ingratitude's</span> the worst of human guilt,</span><br /> +The basest action mankind can commit;<br /> +Which, like the sin against the Holy Ghost,<br /> +Has least of honour, and of guilt the most;<br /> +Distinguished from all other crimes by this,<br /> +That 'tis a crime which no man will confess;<br /> +That sin alone, which should not be forgiv'n<br /> +On earth, altho' perhaps it may in heaven.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Thus</span> my first benefactor I o'erthrew;</span><br /> +And how shou'd I be to a second true?<br /> +The public trust came next into my care,<br /> +And I to use them scurvily prepare:<br /> +My needy sov'reign lord I play'd upon,<br /> +And lent him many a thousand of his own;<br /> +For which great interest I took care to charge,<br /> +And so my ill-got wealth became so large.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">My</span> predecessor Judas was a fool,</span><br /> +Fitter to have been whipt and sent to school,<br /> +Than sell a Saviour: had I been at hand,<br /> +His Master had not been so cheap trepann'd;<br /> +I would have made the eager Jews have found,<br /> +For thirty pieces, thirty thousand pound.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">My</span> cousin Ziba, of immortal fame,</span><br /> +(Ziba and I shall never want a name:)<br /> +First-born of treason, nobly did advance<br /> +His Master's fall, for his inheritance:<br /> +By whose keen arts old David first began<br /> +To break his sacred oath to Jonathan:<br /> +The good old king 'tis thought was very loth<br /> +To break his word, and therefore broke his oath.<br /> +Ziba's a traitor of some quality,<br /> +Yet Ziba might have been inform'd by me:<br /> +Had I been there, he ne'er had been content<br /> +With half th' estate, nor half the government.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">In</span> our late revolution 'twas thought strange,</span><br /> +That I of all mankind should like the change,<br /> +But they who wonder'd at it never knew,<br /> +That in it I did my old game pursue:<br /> +Nor had they heard of twenty thousand pound,<br /> +Which ne'er was lost, yet never could be found.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Thus</span> all things in their turn to sale I bring,</span><br /> +God and my master first, and then the king;<br /> +Till by successful villanies made bold,<br /> +I thought to turn the nation into gold;<br /> +And so to forgery my hand I bent,<br /> +Not doubting I could gull the Government;<br /> +But there was ruffl'd by the Parliament.<br /> +And if I 'scaped th' unhappy tree to climb,<br /> +'Twas want of law, and not for want of crime;<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">But</span> my old friend,<a name="FNanchor_A_1" id="FNanchor_A_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_1" class="fnanchor">[A]</a> who printed in my face</span><br /> +A needful competence of English brass;<br /> +Having more business yet for me to do,<br /> +And loth to lose his trusty servant so,<br /> +Managed the matter with such art and skill,<br /> +As sav'd his hero, and threw out the Bill.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">And</span> now I'm grac'd with unexpected honours,</span><br /> +For which I'll certainly abuse the donors:<br /> +Knighted, and made a tribune of the people,<br /> +Whose laws and properties I'm like to keep well:<br /> +The custos rotulorum of the city,<br /> +And captain of the guards of their banditti.<br /> +Surrounded by my catchpoles, I declare<br /> +Against the needy debtor open war.<br /> +I hang poor thieves for stealing of your pelf,<br /> +And suffer none to rob you, but myself.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> king commanded me to help reform ye,</span><br /> +And how I'll do't, Miss —— shall inform ye.<br /> +I keep the best seraglio in the nation,<br /> +And hope in time to bring it into fashion;<br /> +No brimstone whore need fear the lash from me,<br /> +That part I'll leave to Brother Jefferey:<br /> +Our gallants need not go abroad to Rome,<br /> +I'll keep a whoring jubilee at home;<br /> +Whoring's the darling of my inclination;<br /> +An't I a magistrate for reformation?<br /> +For this my praise is sung by ev'ry bard,<br /> +For which Bridewell wou'd be a just reward.<br /> +In print my panegyric fills the street,<br /> +And hired gaol-birds their huzzas repeat;<br /> +Some charities contriv'd to make a show,<br /> +Have taught the needy rabble to do so;<br /> +Whose empty noise is a mechanic fame,<br /> +Since for Sir Beelzebub they'd do the same.<br /> +</p> + + +<hr class="med" /> + +<h3><a name="CONCLUSION" id="CONCLUSION"></a>THE CONCLUSION.</h3> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Then</span> let us boast of ancestors no more,</span><br /> +Or deeds of heroes done in days of yore,<br /> +In latent records of the ages past,<br /> +Behind the rear of time, in long oblivion plac'd;<br /> +For if our virtues must in lines descend,<br /> +The merit with the families would end,<br /> +And intermixtures would most fatal grow;<br /> +For vice would be hereditary too;<br /> +The tainted blood would of necessity,<br /> +Involuntary wickedness convey.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Vice</span>, like ill-nature, for an age or two,</span><br /> +May seem a generation to pursue;<br /> +But virtue seldom does regard the breed,<br /> +Fools do the wise, and wise men fools succeed.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">What</span> is't to us, what ancestors we had?</span><br /> +If good, what better? or what worse, if bad?<br /> +Examples are for imitation set,<br /> +Yet all men follow virtue with regret.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Could</span> but our ancestors retrieve their fate,</span><br /> +And see their offspring thus degenerate;<br /> +How we contend for birth and names unknown,<br /> +And build on their past actions, not our own;<br /> +They'd cancel records, and their tombs deface,<br /> +And openly disown the vile degenerate race:<br /> +For fame of families is all a cheat,<br /> +It's personal virtue only makes us great.<br /> +</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<h3>THE END.</h3> + + + +<hr /> +<h2>FOOTNOTES</h2> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_A_1" id="Footnote_A_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_1"><span class="label">[A]</span></a> The Devil.</p></div> + +<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30159 ***</div> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2a8d3cd --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #30159 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/30159) diff --git a/old/30159-8.txt b/old/30159-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e67fb34 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/30159-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2023 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The True-Born Englishman, by Daniel Defoe + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The True-Born Englishman + A Satire + +Author: Daniel Defoe + +Release Date: October 2, 2009 [EBook #30159] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN *** + + + + +Produced by Steven Gibbs, Linda Cantoni, and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + +[Transcriber's Note: This satire in verse by Daniel Defoe (c. +1659-1731) was first published in 1701 under the title, _The True-Born +Englishman. A Satyr_, and went through numerous editions in Defoe's +lifetime. This e-book was prepared from _The Novels and Miscellaneous +Works of Daniel De Foe_, Volume 5 (London: Henry G. Bohn, 1855), in +which the spelling, punctuation, and capitalization have apparently +been modernized. Obvious printer errors have been corrected. A table +of contents has been added for the reader's convenience.] + + + + +THE + +TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN: + +A + +SATIRE. + + +Statuimus pacem, et securitatem et concordiam judicum et justiciam +inter Anglos et Normannos, Francos et Britanes, Walliæ, et Cornubiæ, +Pictos et Scotos, Albaniæ, similiter inter Francos et insulanos +provincias et patrias, quæ pertinent ad coronam nostram, et inter +omnes nobis subjectos firmiter et inviolabiliter observare. + +Charta Regis Gullielmi Conquisitoris de Pacis Publica, cap. i. + + + + +CONTENTS + + +AN EXPLANATORY PREFACE. + +PREFACE. + +THE INTRODUCTION. + +THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN. + +PART I. + +PART II. + +BRITANNIA. + +HIS FINE SPEECH, &c. + +THE CONCLUSION. + + + + +AN + +EXPLANATORY PREFACE. + + +It is not that I see any reason to alter my opinion in any thing I +have writ, which occasions this epistle; but I find it necessary for +the satisfaction of some persons of honour, as well as wit, to pass a +short explication upon it; and tell the world what I mean, or rather, +what I do not mean, in some things wherein I find I am liable to be +misunderstood. + +I confess myself something surpris'd to hear that I am taxed with +bewraying my own nest, and abusing our nation, by discovering the +meanness of our original, in order to make the English contemptible +abroad and at home; in which, I think, they are mistaken: for why +should not our neighbours be as good as we to derive from? And I must +add, that had we been an unmix'd nation, I am of opinion it had been +to our disadvantage: for to go no farther, we have three nations about +us as clear from mixtures of blood as any in the world, and I know not +which of them I could wish ourselves to be like; I mean the Scots, the +Welsh, and the Irish; and if I were to write a reverse to the Satire, +I would examine all the nations of Europe, and prove, that those +nations which are most mix'd, are the best, and have least of +barbarism and brutality among them; and abundance of reasons might be +given for it, too long to bring into a Preface. + +But I give this hint, to let the world know, that I am far from +thinking, 'tis a Satire upon the English nation, to tell them, they +are derived from all the nations under heaven; that is, from several +nations. Nor is it meant to undervalue the original of the English, +for we see no reason to like them worse, being the relicts of Romans, +Danes, Saxons and Normans, than we should have done if they had +remain'd Britons, that is, than if they had been all Welshmen. + +But the intent of the Satire is pointed at the vanity of those who +talk of their antiquity, and value themselves upon their pedigree, +their ancient families, and being true-born; whereas 'tis impossible +we should be true-born: and if we could, should have lost by the +bargain. + +These sort of people, who call themselves true-born, and tell long +stories of their families, and like a nobleman of Venice, think a +foreigner ought not to walk on the same side of the street with them, +are own'd to be meant in this Satire. What they would infer from their +long original, I know not, nor is it easy to make out whether they are +the better or the worse for their ancestors: our English nation may +value themselves for their wit, wealth and courage, and I believe few +nations will dispute it with them; but for long originals, and ancient +true-born families of English, I would advise them to wave the +discourse. A true Englishman is one that deserves a character, and I +have nowhere lessened him, that I know of; but as for a true-born +Englishman, I confess I do not understand him. + +From hence I only infer, that an Englishman, of all men, ought not to +despise foreigners as such, and I think the inference is just, since +what they are to-day, we were yesterday, and to-morrow they will be +like us. If foreigners misbehave in their several stations and +employments, I have nothing to do with that; the laws are open to +punish them equally with natives, and let them have no favour. + +But when I see the town full of lampoons and invectives against +Dutchmen, only because they are foreigners, and the king reproached +and insulted by insolent pedants, and ballad-making poets, for +employing foreigners, and for being a foreigner himself, I confess +myself moved by it to remind our nation of their own original, thereby +to let them see what a banter is put upon ourselves in it; since +speaking of Englishmen _ab origine_, we are really all foreigners +ourselves. + +I could go on to prove it is also impolitic in us to discourage +foreigners; since it is easy to make it appear that the multitudes of +foreign nations who have taken sanctuary here, have been the greatest +additions to the wealth and strength of the nation; the essential +whereof is the number of its inhabitants; nor would this nation ever +have arrived to the degree of wealth and glory it now boasts of, if +the addition of foreign nations, both as to manufactures and arms, +had not been helpful to it. This is so plain, that he who is ignorant +of it, is too dull to be talked with. + +The Satire therefore I must allow to be just, till I am otherwise +convinced; because nothing can be more ridiculous than to hear our +people boast of that antiquity, which if it had been true, would have +left us in so much worse a condition than we are in now: whereas we +ought rather to boast among our neighbours, that we are part of +themselves, of the same original as they, but bettered by our climate, +and like our language and manufactures, derived from them, and +improved by us to a perfection greater than they can pretend to. + +This we might have valued ourselves upon without vanity; but to disown +our descent from them, talk big of our ancient families, and long +originals, and stand at a distance from foreigners, like the +enthusiast in religion, with a Stand off, I am more holy than thou: +this is a thing so ridiculous, in a nation derived from foreigners, as +we are, that I could not but attack them as I have done. + +And whereas I am threatened to be called to a public account for this +freedom; and the publisher of this has been newspapered into gaol +already for it; tho' I see nothing in it for which the government can +be displeased; yet if at the same time those people who with an +unlimited arrogance in print, every day affront the king, prescribe +the parliament, and lampoon the government, may be either punished or +restrained, I am content to stand and fall by the public justice of my +native country, which I am not sensible I have anywhere injured. + +Nor would I be misunderstood concerning the clergy; with whom, if I +have taken any license more than becomes a Satire, I question not but +those gentlemen, who are men of letters, are also men of so much +candor, as to allow me a loose at the crimes of the guilty, without +thinking the whole profession lashed who are innocent. I profess to +have very mean thoughts of those gentlemen who have deserted their own +principles, and exposed even their morals as well as loyality; but not +at all to think it affects any but such as are concerned in the fact. + +Nor would I be misrepresented as to the ingratitude of the English to +the king and his friends; as if I meant the English as a nation, are +so. The contrary is so apparent, that I would hope it should not be +suggested of me: and, therefore when I have brought in Britannia +speaking of the king, I suppose her to be the representative or mouth +of the nation, as a body. But if I say we are full of such who daily +affront the king, and abuse his friends; who print scurrilous +pamphlets, virulent lampoons, and reproachful public banters, against +both the king's person and his government; I say nothing but what is +too true; and that the Satire is directed at such, I freely own; and +cannot say, but I should think it very hard to be censured for this +Satire, while such remain unquestioned and tacitly approved. That I +can mean none but such, is plain from these few lines, page 453. +[Transcriber's Note: This reference is to a page number in the 1855 +reprint edition.] + + Ye heavens regard! Almighty Jove, look down, + And view thy injured monarch on the throne. + On their ungrateful heads due vengeance take, + Who sought his aid, and then his part forsake. + +If I have fallen rudely upon our vices, I hope none but the vicious +will be angry. As for writing for interest, I disown it; I have +neither place, nor pension, nor prospect; nor seek none, nor will have +none: if matter of fact justifies the truth of the crimes, the Satire +is just. As to the poetic liberties, I hope the crime is pardonable; I +am content to be stoned, provided none will attack me but the +innocent. + +If my countrymen would take the hint, and grow better natured from my +ill-natured poem as some call it; I would say this of it, that though +it is far from the best Satire that ever was wrote, it would do the +most good that ever Satire did. + +And yet I am ready to ask pardon of some gentlemen too; who though +they are Englishmen, have good nature enough to see themselves +reproved, and can hear it. These are gentlemen in a true sense, that +can bare to be told of their _faux pas_, and not abuse the reprover. +To such I must say, this is no Satire; they are exceptions to the +general rule; and I value my performance from their generous +approbation, more than I can from any opinion I have of its worth. + +The hasty errors of my verse I made my excuse for before; and since +the time I have been upon it has been but little, and my leisure less, +I have all along strove rather to make the thoughts explicit, than the +poem correct. However, I have mended some faults in this edition, and +the rest must be placed to my account. + +As to answers, banters, true English Billingsgate, I expect them till +nobody will buy, and then the shop will be shut. Had I wrote it for +the gain of the press, I should have been concerned at its being +printed again, and again, by pirates, as they call them, and +paragraph-men; but would they but do it justice, and print it true, +according to the copy, they are welcome to sell it for a penny, if +they please. + +The pence, indeed, is the end of their works. I will engage if nobody +will buy, nobody will write: and not a patriot poet of them all, now +will in defence of his native country, which I have abused, they say, +print an answer to it, and give it about for God's sake. + + + + +PREFACE. + + +The end of satire is reformation: and the author, though he doubt the +work of conversion is at a general stop, has put his hand in the +plough. I expect a storm of ill language from the fury of the town. +And especially from those whose English talent it is to rail: and, +without being taken for a conjuror, I may venture to foretel, that I +shall be cavilled at about my mean style, rough verse, and incorrect +language, things I indeed might have taken more care in. But the book +is printed; and though I see some faults, it is too late to mend them. +And this is all I think needful to say to them. + +Possibly somebody may take me for a Dutchman; in which they are +mistaken: but I am one that would be glad to see Englishmen behave +themselves better to strangers, and to governors also, that one might +not be reproached in foreign countries for belonging to a nation that +wants manners. + +I assure you, gentlemen, strangers use us better abroad; and we can +give no reason but our ill-nature for the contrary here. + +Methinks an Englishman who is so proud of being called a good fellow, +should be civil. And it cannot be denied, but we are, in many cases, +and particularly to strangers, the most churlish people alive. + +As to vices, who can dispute our intemperance, while an honest drunken +fellow is a character in a man's praise? All our reformations are +banters, and will be so till our magistrates and gentry reform +themselves, by way of example; then, and not till then, they may be +expected to punish others without blushing. + +As to our ingratitude, I desire to be understood of that particular +people, who pretending to be Protestants, have all along endeavoured +to reduce the liberties and religion of this nation into the hands of +King James and his Popish powers: together with such who enjoy the +peace and protection of the present government, and yet abuse and +affront the king who procured it, and openly profess their uneasiness +under him: these, by whatsoever names or titles they are dignified or +distinguished, are the people aimed at; nor do I disown, but that it +is so much the temper of an Englishman to abuse his benefactor, that I +could be glad to see it rectified. + +They who think I have been guilty of any error, in exposing the crimes +of my own countrymen to themselves, may, among many honest instances +of the like nature, find the same thing in Mr. Cowley, in his +imitation of the second Olympic Ode of Pindar; his words are these:-- + + But in this thankless world, the givers + Are envied even by the receivers. + 'Tis now the cheap and frugal fashion, + Rather to hide than pay an obligation. + Nay, 'tis much worse than so; + It now an artifice doth grow, + Wrongs and outrages they do, + Lest men should think we owe. + + + + +THE INTRODUCTION. + + +Speak, Satire, for there's none can tell like thee, +Whether 'tis folly, pride, or knavery, +That makes this discontented land appear +Less happy now in times of peace, than war: +Why civil feuds disturb the nation more, +Than all our bloody wars have done before. + + Fools out of favour grudge at knaves in place, +And men are always honest in disgrace: +The court preferments make men knaves in course: +But they which wou'd be in them wou'd be worse. +'Tis not at foreigners that we repine, +Wou'd foreigners their perquisites resign: +The grand contention's plainly to be seen, +To get some men put out, and some put in. +For this our Senators make long harangues. +And florid Ministers whet their polish'd tongues. +Statesmen are always sick of one disease; +And a good pension gives them present ease. +That's the specific makes them all content +With any King and any government. +Good patriots at court abuses rail, +And all the nation's grievances bewail: +But when the sov'reign balsam's once apply'd, +The zealot never fails to change his side; +And when he must the golden key resign, +The railing spirit comes about again. + + Who shall this bubbl'd nation disabuse, +While they their own felicities refuse? +Who at the wars have made such mighty pother, +And now are falling out with one another: +With needless fears the jealous nations fill, +And always have been sav'd against their will: +Who fifty millions sterling have disburs'd +To be with peace, and too much plenty, curs'd; +Who their old monarch eagerly undo, +And yet uneasily obey the new. +Search, Satire, search; a deep incision make: +The poison's strong, the antidote's too weak. +'Tis pointed truth must manage this dispute, +And down-right English, Englishmen confute. + + Whet thy just anger at the nation's pride; +And with keen phrase repel the vicious tide, +To Englishmen their own beginnings show, +And ask them, why they slight their neighbours so: +Go back to elder times, and ages past, +And nations into long oblivion cast; +To elder Britain's youthful days retire, +And there for true-born Englishmen inquire, +Britannia freely will disown the name, +And hardly knows herself from whence they came; +Wonders that they of all men should pretend +To birth, and blood, and for a name contend. +Go back to causes where our follies dwell, +And fetch the dark original from hell: +Speak, Satire, for there's none like thee can tell. + + + + +THE + +TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN. + + +PART I. + +Wherever God erects a house of prayer, +The Devil always builds a chapel there: +And 'twill be found upon examination, +The latter has the largest congregation: +For ever since he first debauch'd the mind, +He made a perfect conquest of mankind. +With uniformity of service, he +Reigns with general aristocracy. +No non-conforming sects disturb his reign, +For of his yoke, there's very few complain. +He knows the genius and the inclination, +And matches proper sins for ev'ry nation. +He needs no standing army government; +He always rules us by our own consent: +His laws are easy, and his gentle sway +Makes it exceeding pleasant to obey. +The list of his vicegerents and commanders, +Out-does your Cæsars, or your Alexanders. +They never fail of his infernal aid, +And he's as certain ne'er to be betray'd. +Thro' all the world they spread his vast command, +And death's eternal empire is maintain'd. +They rule so politicly and so well, +As if they were Lords Justices of hell; +Duly divided to debauch mankind, +And plant infernal dictates in his mind. + + Pride, the first peer, and president of hell, +To his share, Spain, the largest province fell. +The subtle Prince thought fittest to bestow +On these the golden mines of Mexico, +With all the silver mountains of Peru; +Wealth which in wise hands would the world undo; +Because he knew their genius was such, +Too lazy and too haughty to be rich: +So proud a people, so above their fate, +That, if reduced to beg, they'll beg in state: +Lavish of money, to be counted brave, +And proudly starve, because they scorn to save; +Never was nation in the world before, +So very rich, and yet so very poor. + + Lust chose the torrid zone of Italy, +Where blood ferments in rapes and sodomy: +Where swelling veins o'erflow with living streams, +With heat impregnate from Vesuvian flames; +Whose flowing sulphur forms infernal lakes, +And human body of the soil partakes. +There nature ever burns with hot desires, +Fann'd with luxuriant air from subterranean fires: +Here undisturbed, in floods of scalding lust, +Th' infernal king reigns with infernal gust. + + Drunkenness, the darling favourite of hell, +Chose Germany to rule; and rules so well, +No subjects more obsequiously obey, +None please so well, or are so pleased as they; +The cunning artist manages so well, +He lets them bow to heav'n, and drink to hell. +If but to wine and him they homage pay, +He cares not to what deity they pray; +What god they worship most, or in what way. +Whether by Luther, Calvin, or by Rome, +They sail for heaven, by wine he steers them home. + + Ungovern'd passion settled first in France, +Where mankind lives in haste, and thrives by chance; +A dancing nation, fickle and untrue, +Have oft undone themselves, and others too; +Prompt the infernal dictates to obey, +And in hell's favour none more great than they. + + The pagan world he blindly leads away, +And personally rules with arbitrary sway: +The mask thrown off, plain devil, his title stands; +And what elsewhere he tempts, he there commands; +There, with full gust, th' ambition of his mind, +Governs, as he of old in heaven design'd: +Worshipp'd as God, his Paynim altars smoke, +Imbrued with blood of those that him invoke. + + The rest by deputies he rules so well, +And plants the distant colonies of hell; +By them his secret power he firm maintains, +And binds the world in his infernal chains. + + By zeal the Irish, and the Russ by folly, +Fury the Dane, the Swede by melancholy; +By stupid ignorance, the Muscovite; +The Chinese, by a child of hell, call'd wit; +Wealth makes the Persian too effeminate; +And poverty the Tartar desperate: +The Turks and Moors, by Mah'met he subdues; +And God has given him leave to rule the Jews: +Rage rules the Portuguese, and fraud the Scotch; +Revenge the Pole, and avarice the Dutch. + + Satire, be kind, and draw a silent veil, +Thy native England's vices to conceal: +Or, if that task's impossible to do, +At least be just, and show her virtues too; +Too great the first, alas! the last too few. + + England, unknown, as yet unpeopled lay,-- +Happy, had she remain'd so to this day, +And still to ev'ry nation been a prey. +Her open harbours, and her fertile plains, +The merchant's glory these, and those the swain's, +To ev'ry barbarous nation have betray'd her; +Who conquer her as oft as they invade her, +So beauty, guarded out by Innocence, +That ruins her which should be her defence. + + Ingratitude, a devil of black renown, +Possess'd her very early for his own: +An ugly, surly, sullen, selfish spirit, +Who Satan's worst perfections does inherit; +Second to him in malice and in force, +All devil without, and all within him worse. + + He made her first-born race to be so rude, +And suffer'd her to be so oft subdued; +By sev'ral crowds of wandering thieves o'er-run, +Often unpeopled, and as oft undone; +While ev'ry nation that her powers reduced, +Their languages and manners introduced; +From whose mix'd relics our compounded breed, +By spurious generation does succeed; +Making a race uncertain and uneven, +Derived from all the nations under heaven. + + The Romans first with Julius Cæsar came, +Including all the nations of that name, +Gauls, Greek, and Lombards; and, by computation, +Auxiliaries or slaves of ev'ry nation. +With Hengist, Saxons; Danes with Sweno came, +In search of plunder, not in search of fame. +Scots, Picts, and Irish from th' Hibernian shore; +And conq'ring William brought the Normans o'er. + + All these their barb'rous offspring left behind, +The dregs of armies, they of all mankind; +Blended with Britons, who before were here, +Of whom the Welch ha' blest the character. + + From this amphibious, ill-born mob began, +That vain ill-natured thing, an Englishman. +The customs, sirnames, languages, and manners, +Of all these nations, are their own explainers; +Whose relics are so lasting and so strong, +They've left a Shiboleth upon our tongue; +By which, with easy search, you may distinguish +Your Roman, Saxon, Danish, Norman, English. + + The great invading Norman let us know +What conquerors in after-times might do. +To every musqueteer he brought to town, +He gave the lands which never were his own; +When first the English crown he did obtain, +He did not send his Dutchmen home again. +No re-assumptions in his reign were known, +Davenant might there ha' let his book alone. +No parliament his army could disband; +He raised no money, for he paid in land. +He gave his legions their eternal station, +And made them all freeholders of the nation. +He canton'd out the country to his men, +And every soldier was a denizen. +The rascals thus enrich'd, he called them lords, +To please their upstart pride with new-made words, +And doomsday book his tyranny records. + + And here begins the ancient pedigree +That so exalts our poor nobility. +'Tis that from some French trooper they derive, +Who with the Norman bastard did arrive: +The trophies of the families appear; +Some show the sword, the bow, and some the spear, +Which their great ancestor, forsooth, did wear. +These in the herald's register remain, +Their noble mean extraction to explain, +Yet who the hero was no man can tell, +Whether a drummer or a colonel: +The silent record blushes to reveal +Their undescended dark original. + + But grant the best. How came the change to pass; +A true-born Englishman of Norman race? +A Turkish horse can show more history, +To prove his well-descended family. +Conquest, as by the moderns 'tis express'd, +May give a title to the lands possess'd; +But that the longest sword should be so civil, +To make a Frenchman English, that's the devil. + + These are the heroes that despise the Dutch, +And rail at new-come foreigners so much; +Forgetting that themselves are all derived +From the most scoundrel race that ever lived; +A horrid crowd of rambling thieves and drones +Who ransack'd kingdoms, and dispeopled towns; +The Pict and painted Briton, treach'rous Scot, +By hunger, theft, and rapine, hither brought; +Norwegian pirates, buccaneering Danes, +Whose red-hair'd offspring everywhere remains; +Who, join'd with Norman French, compound the breed +From whence your true-born Englishmen proceed. + + And lest, by length of time, it be pretended, +The climate may this modern breed have mended; +Wise Providence, to keep us where we are, +Mixes us daily with exceeding care; +We have been Europe's sink, the jakes, where she +Voids all her offal out-cast progeny; +From our fifth Henry's time the strolling bands, +Of banish'd fugitives from neighb'ring lands, +Have here a certain sanctuary found: +The eternal refuge of the vagabond, +Where in but half a common age of time, +Borrowing new blood and manners from the clime, +Proudly they learn all mankind to contemn, +And all their race are true-born Englishmen. + + Dutch Walloons, Flemmings, Irishmen, and Scots, +Vaudois, and Valtolins, and Hugonots, +In good Queen Bess's charitable reign, +Supplied us with three hundred thousand men: +Religion--God, we thank thee!--sent them hither, +Priests, Protestants, the devil, and all together; +Of all professions, and of ev'ry trade, +All that were persecuted or afraid: +Whether for debt, or other crimes, they fled, +David at Hackelah was still their head. + + The offspring of this miscellaneous crowd, +Had not their new plantations long enjoy'd, +But they grew Englishmen, and raised their votes, +At foreign shoals of interloping Scots; +The royal branch from Pict-land did succeed, +With troops of Scots and scabs from north of Tweed; +The seven first years of his pacific reign, +Made him and half his nation Englishmen. +Scots from the northern frozen banks of Tay, +With packs and plods came whigging all away, +Thick as the locusts which in Egypt swarm'd, +With pride and hungry hopes completely arm'd; +With native truth, diseases, and no money, +Plunder'd our Canaan of the milk and honey; +Here they grew quickly lords and gentlemen, +And all their race are true-born Englishmen. + + The civil wars, the common purgative, +Which always use to make the nation thrive, +Made way for all that strolling congregation, +Which throng'd in pious Charles's restoration. +The royal refugee our breed restores, +With foreign courtiers, and with foreign whores: +And carefully re-peopled us again, +Throughout his lazy, long, lascivious reign, +With such a blest and true-born English fry, +As much illustrates our nobility. +A gratitude which will so black appear, +As future ages must abhor to bear: +When they look back on all that crimson flood, +Which stream'd in Lindsey's, and Caernarvon's blood; +Bold Strafford, Cambridge, Capel, Lucas, Lisle, +Who crown'd in death his father's fun'ral pile. +The loss of whom, in order to supply +With true-born English nobility, +Six bastard dukes survive his luscious reign, +The labours of Italian Castlemain, +French Portsmouth, Tabby Scott, and Cambrian; +Besides the num'rous bright and virgin throng, +Whose female glories shade them from my song. +This offspring if our age they multiply, +May half the house with English peers supply: +There with true English pride they may contemn +Schomberg and Portland, new-made noblemen. + + French cooks, Scotch pedlars, and Italian whores, +Were all made lords or lords' progenitors. +Beggars and bastards by this new creation +Much multiplied the peerage of the nation; +Who will be all, ere one short age runs o'er, +As true-born lords as those we had before. + + Then to recruit the commons he prepares, +And heal the latent breaches of the wars; +The pious purpose better to advance, +He invites the banish'd Protestants of France; +Hither for God's sake, and their own, they fled +Some for religion came, and some for bread: +Two hundred thousand pair of wooden shoes, +Who, God be thank'd, had nothing left to lose; +To heaven's great praise did for religion fly, +To make us starve our poor in charity. +In ev'ry port they plant their fruitful train, +To get a race of true-born Englishmen; +Whose children will, when riper years they see, +Be as ill-natured, and as proud as we; +Call themselves English, foreigners despise, +Be surly like us all, and just as wise. + + Thus from a mixture of all kinds began, +That heterogeneous thing, an Englishman: +In eager rapes, and furious lust begot, +Betwixt a painted Briton and a Scot: +Whose gend'ring offspring quickly learn'd to bow, +And yoke their heifers to the Roman plough; +From whence a mongrel half-bred race there came, +With neither name nor nation, speech or fame, +In whose hot veins new mixtures quickly ran, +Infused betwixt a Saxon and a Dane; +While their rank daughters, to their parents just, +Received all nations with promiscuous lust. +This nauseous brood directly did contain +The well-extracted blood of Englishmen. + + Which medley, canton'd in a heptarchy, +A rhapsody of nations to supply, +Among themselves maintain'd eternal wars, +And still the ladies loved the conquerors. + + The Western Angles all the rest subdued, +A bloody nation, barbarous and rude; +Who by the tenure of the sword possess'd +One part of Britain, and subdued the rest: +And as great things denominate the small, +The conquering part gave title to the whole; +The Scot, Pict, Briton, Roman, Dane, submit, +And with the English Saxon all unite: +And these the mixture have so close pursued, +The very name and memory's subdued; +No Roman now, no Briton does remain; +Wales strove to separate, but strove in vain: +The silent nations undistinguish'd fall, +And Englishman's the common name for all. +Fate jumbled them together, God knows how; +Whate'er they were, they're true-born English now. + + The wonder which remains is at our pride, +To value that which all wise men deride; +For Englishmen to boast of generation +Cancels their knowledge, and lampoons the nation, +A true-born Englishman's a contradiction, +In speech an irony, in fact a fiction: +A banter made to be a test of fools, +Which those that use it justly ridicules; +A metaphor intended to express, +A man a-kin to all the universe. + + For as the Scots, as learned men have said, +Throughout the world their wand'ring seed have spread, +So open-handed England, 'tis believed, +Has all the gleanings of the world received. + + Some think of England, 'twas our Saviour meant, +The Gospel should to all the world be sent: +Since when the blessed sound did hither reach, +They to all nations might be said to preach. + + 'Tis well that virtue gives nobility, +Else God knows where had we our gentry, +Since scarce one family is left alive, +Which does not from some foreigner derive. +Of sixty thousand English gentlemen, +Whose names and arms in registers remain, +We challenge all our heralds to declare +Ten families which English Saxons are. + + France justly boasts the ancient noble line +Of Bourbon, Montmorency, and Lorraine. +The Germans too, their house of Austria show, +And Holland, their invincible Nassau. +Lines which in heraldry were ancient grown, +Before the name of Englishman was known. +Even Scotland, too, her elder glory shows, +Her Gordons, Hamiltons, and her Monro's; +Douglas', Mackays, and Grahams, names well known, +Long before ancient England knew her own. + + But England, modern to the last degree, +Borrows or makes her own nobility, +And yet she boldly boasts of pedigree; +Repines that foreigners are put upon her, +And talks of her antiquity and honour: +Her Sackvills, Savils, Cecils, Delamers, +Mohuns, Montagues, Duras, and Veeres, +Not one have English names, yet all are English peers. +Your Houblons, Papillons, and Lethuliers, +Pass now for true-born English knights and squires, +And make good senate-members, or lord-mayors. +Wealth, howsoever got, in England makes +Lords of mechanics, gentlemen of rakes. +Antiquity and birth are needless here; +'Tis impudence and money makes a peer. + + Innumerable city knights we know, +From Blue-coat Hospitals, and Bridewell flow. +Draymen and porters fill the city chair, +And foot-boys magisterial purple wear. +Fate has but very small distinction set +Betwixt the counter and the coronet. +Tarpaulin lords, pages of high renown, +Rise up by poor men's valour, not their own; +Great families of yesterday we show, +And lords, whose parents were the Lord knows who. + + +PART II. + +The breed's described: now, Satire, if you can, +Their temper show, for manners make the man. +Fierce as the Briton, as the Roman brave, +And less inclined to conquer than to save; +Eager to fight, and lavish of their blood, +And equally of fear and forecast void. +The Pict has made them sour, the Dane morose, +False from the Scot, and from the Norman worse. +What honesty they have, the Saxon gave them, +And that, now they grow old, begins to leave them. +The climate makes them terrible and bold: +And English beef their courage does uphold: +No danger can their daring spirit dull, +Always provided when their belly's full. + + In close intrigues, their faculty's but weak; +For, gen'rally, whate'er they know they speak. +And often their own councils undermine +By their infirmity, and not design. +From whence, the learned say, it does proceed, +That English treason never can succeed: +For they're so open-hearted, you may know +Their own most secret thoughts, and others too. + + The lab'ring poor, in spite of double pay, +Are saucy, mutinous, and beggarly; +So lavish of their money and their time, +That want of forecast is the nation's crime. +Good drunken company is their delight; +And what they get by day they spend by night. +Dull thinking seldom does their heads engage, +But drink their youth away, and hurry on old age. +Empty of all good husbandry and sense; +And void of manners most when void of pence. +Their strong aversion to behaviour's such, +They always talk too little or too much. +So dull, they never take the pains to think; +And seldom are good natured but in drink. + + In English ale their dear enjoyment lies, +For which they starve themselves and families. +An Englishman will fairly drink as much, +As will maintain two families of Dutch: +Subjecting all their labours to the pots; +The greatest artists are the greatest sots. +The country poor do by example live; +The gentry lead them, and the clergy drive; +What may we not from such examples hope? +The landlord is their god, the priest their pope; +A drunken clergy, and a swearing bench, +Has given the reformation such a drench, +As wise men think, there is some cause to doubt, +Will purge good manners and religion out. + + Nor do the poor alone their liquor prize, +The sages join in this great sacrifice; +The learned men who study Aristotle, +Correct him with an explanation bottle: +Praise Epicurus rather than Lysander, +And Aristippus more than Alexander; +The doctors too their Galen here resign, +And generally prescribe specific wine; +The graduate's study's grown an easy task, +While for the urinal they toss the flask; +The surgeon's art grows plainer every hour, +And wine's the balm which into wounds they pour. + + Poets long since Parnassus have forsaken, +And say the ancient bards were all mistaken. +Apollo's lately abdicate and fled, +And good king Bacchus reigneth in his stead: +He does the chaos of the head refine, +And atom thoughts jump into words by wine: +The inspiration's of a finer nature, +As wine must needs excel Parnassus water. + + Statesmen their weighty politics refine, +And soldiers raise their courages by wine. +Cecilia gives her choristers their choice, +And lets them all drink wine to clear the voice. + + Some think the clergy first found out the way, +And wine's the only spirit by which they pray. +But others, less profane than so, agree, +It clears the lungs, and helps the memory: +And, therefore, all of them divinely think, +Instead of study, 'tis as well to drink. + + And here I would be very glad to know, +Whether our Asgilites may drink or no; +The enlightening fumes of wine would certainly +Assist them much when they begin to fly; +Or if a fiery chariot should appear, +Inflamed by wine, they'd have the less to fear. + + Even the gods themselves, as mortals say, +Were they on earth, would be as drunk as they: +Nectar would be no more celestial drink, +They'd all take wine, to teach them how to think. +But English drunkards, gods and men outdo, +Drink their estates away, and senses too. +Colon's in debt, and if his friend should fail +To help him out, must die at last in jail: +His wealthy uncle sent a hundred nobles, +To pay his trifles off, and rid him of his troubles: +But Colon, like a true-born Englishman, +Drunk all the money out in bright champaign, +And Colon does in custody remain. +Drunk'ness has been the darling of the realm, +E'er since a drunken pilot had the helm. + + In their religion, they're so uneven, +That each man goes his own byway to heaven. +Tenacious of mistakes to that degree, +That ev'ry man pursues it sep'rately, +And fancies none can find the way but he: +So shy of one another they are grown, +As if they strove to get to heaven alone. +Rigid and zealous, positive and grave, +And ev'ry grace, but charity, they have; +This makes them so ill-natured and uncivil, +That all men think an Englishman the devil. + + Surly to strangers, froward to their friend, +Submit to love with a reluctant mind, +Resolved to be ungrateful and unkind. +If, by necessity, reduced to ask, +The giver has the difficultest task: +For what's bestow'd they awkwardly receive, +And always take less freely than they give; +The obligation is their highest grief, +They never love where they accept relief; +So sullen in their sorrows, that 'tis known +They'll rather die than their afflictions own; +And if relieved, it is too often true, +That they'll abuse their benefactors too; +For in distress their haughty stomach's such, +They hate to see themselves obliged too much; +Seldom contented, often in the wrong, +Hard to be pleased at all, and never long. + + If your mistakes there ill opinion gain, +No merit can their favour re-obtain: +And if they're not vindictive in their fury, +'Tis their inconstant temper does secure ye: +Their brain's so cool, their passion seldom burns; +For all's condensed before the flame returns: +The fermentation's of so weak a matter, +The humid damps the flame, and runs it all to water; +So though the inclination may be strong, +They're pleased by fits, and never angry long: + + Then, if good-nature show some slender proof, +They never think they have reward enough; +But, like our modern Quakers of the town, +Expect your manners, and return you none. + + Friendship, th' abstracted union of the mind, +Which all men seek, but very few can find; +Of all the nations in the universe, +None can talk on't more, or understand it less; +For if it does their property annoy, +Their property their friendship will destroy. +As you discourse them, you shall hear them tell +All things in which they think they do excel: +No panegyric needs their praise record, +An Englishman ne'er wants his own good word. +His first discourses gen'rally appear, +Prologued with his own wond'rous character: +When, to illustrate his own good name, +He never fails his neighbour to defame. +And yet he really designs no wrong, +His malice goes no further than his tongue. +But, pleased to tattle, he delights to rail, +To satisfy the letch'ry of a tale. +His own dear praises close the ample speech, +Tells you how wise he is, that is, how rich: +For wealth is wisdom; he that's rich is wise; +And all men learned poverty despise: +His generosity comes next, and then +Concludes, that he's a true-born Englishman; +And they, 'tis known, are generous and free, +Forgetting, and forgiving injury: +Which may be true, thus rightly understood, +Forgiving ill turns, and forgetting good. + + Cheerful in labour when they've undertook it, +But out of humour, when they're out of pocket. +But if their belly and their pocket's full, +They may be phlegmatic, but never dull: +And if a bottle does their brains refine, +It makes their wit as sparkling as their wine. + + As for the general vices which we find, +They're guilty of in common with mankind, +Satire forbear, and silently endure, +We must conceal the crimes we cannot cure; +Nor shall my verse the brighter sex defame, +For English beauty will preserve her name; +Beyond dispute agreeable and fair, +And modester than other nations are; +For where the vice prevails, the great temptation +Is want of money more than inclination; +In general this only is allow'd, +They're something noisy, and a little proud. + + An Englishman is gentlest in command, +Obedience is a stranger in the land: +Hardly subjected to the magistrate; +For Englishmen do all subjection hate. +Humblest when rich, but peevish when they're poor, +And think whate'er they have, they merit more. + + The meanest English plowman studies law, +And keeps thereby the magistrates in awe, +Will boldly tell them what they ought to do, +And sometimes punish their omissions too. + + Their liberty and property's so dear, +They scorn their laws or governors to fear; +So bugbear'd with the name of slavery, +They can't submit to their own liberty. +Restraint from ill is freedom to the wise! +But Englishmen do all restraint despise. +Slaves to the liquor, drudges to the pots; +The mob are statesmen, and their statesmen sots. + + Their governors, they count such dang'rous things, +That 'tis their custom to affront their kings: +So jealous of the power their kings possess'd, +They suffer neither power nor kings to rest. +The bad with force they eagerly subdue; +The good with constant clamours they pursue, +And did King Jesus reign, they'd murmur too. +A discontented nation, and by far +Harder to rule in times of peace than war: +Easily set together by the ears, +And full of causeless jealousies and fears: +Apt to revolt, and willing to rebel, +And never are contented when they're well. +No government could ever please them long, +Could tie their hands, or rectify their tongue. +In this, to ancient Israel well compared, +Eternal murmurs are among them heard. + + It was but lately, that they were oppress'd, +Their rights invaded, and their laws suppress'd: +When nicely tender of their liberty, +Lord! what a noise they made of slavery. +In daily tumults show'd their discontent, +Lampoon'd their king, and mock'd his government. +And if in arms they did not first appear, +'Twas want of force, and not for want of fear. +In humbler tone than English used to do, +At foreign hands for foreign aid they sue. + + William, the great successor of Nassau, +Their prayers heard, and their oppressions saw; +He saw and saved them: God and him they praised +To this their thanks, to that their trophies raised. +But glutted with their own felicities, +They soon their new deliverer despise; +Say all their prayers back, their joy disown, +Unsing their thanks, and pull their trophies down; +Their harps of praise are on the willows hung; +For Englishmen are ne'er contented long. + + The reverend clergy too, and who'd ha' thought +That they who had such non-resistance taught, +Should e'er to arms against their prince be brought +Who up to heav'n did regal power advance; +Subjecting English laws to modes of France +Twisting religion so with loyalty, +As one could never live, and t'other die; +And yet no sooner did their prince design +Their glebes and perquisites to undermine, +But all their passive doctrines laid aside, +The clergy their own principles denied; +Unpreach'd their non-resisting cant, and pray'd +To heav'n for help, and to the Dutch for aid; +The church chimed all her doctrines back again, +And pulpit-champions did the cause maintain; +Flew in the face of all their former zeal, +And non-resistance did at once repeal. + + The Rabbi's say it would be too prolix, +To tie religion up to politics, +The churches' safety is _suprema lex_: +And so by a new figure of their own, +Their former doctrines all at once disown; +As laws _post facto_ in the parliament, +In urgent cases have attained assent; +But are as dangerous precedents laid by, +Made lawful only by necessity. + + The rev'rend fathers then in arms appear, +And men of God became the men of war: +The nation, fired by them, to arms apply, +Assault their antichristian monarchy; +To their due channel all our laws restore, +And made things what they should have been before. +But when they came to fill the vacant throne, +And the pale priests look'd back on what they'd done, +How England liberty began to thrive, +And Church of England loyality outlive; +How all their persecuting days were done, +And their deliv'rer placed upon the throne: +The priests, as priests are wont to do, turn'd tail, +They're Englishmen, and nature will prevail; +Now they deplore their ruins they have made, +And murmur for the master they betray'd; +Excuse those crimes they could not make him mend, +And suffer for the cause they can't defend; +Pretend they'd not have carried things so high, +And proto-martyrs make for popery. + + Had the prince done as they design'd the thing, +High set the clergy up to rule the king: +Taken a donative for coming hither, +And so have left their king and them together; +We had, say they, been now a happy nation; +No doubt we had seen a blessed reformation: +For wise men say 'tis as dangerous a thing, +A ruling priesthood, as a priest-rid king; +And of all plagues with which mankind are curst, +Ecclesiastic tyranny's the worst. + + If all our former grievances were feign'd, +King James has been abused, and we trepann'd; +Bugbear'd with popery and power despotic, +Tyrannic government, and leagues exotic; +The revolution's a fanatic plot, +William's a tyrant, King James was not; +A factious army and a poison'd nation, +Unjustly forced King James's abdication. + + But if he did the subjects' rights invade, +Then he was punish'd only, not betrayed; +And punishing of kings is no such crime, +But Englishmen have done it many a time. + + When kings the sword of justice first lay down, +They are no kings, though they possess the crown. +Titles are shadows, crowns are empty things, +The good of subjects is the end of kings; +To guide in war, and to protect in peace, +Where tyrants once commence the kings do cease; +For arbitrary power's so strange a thing, +It makes the tyrant and unmakes the king: +If kings by foreign priests and armies reign, +And lawless power against their oaths maintain, +Then subjects must have reason to complain: +If oaths must bind us when our kings do ill, +To call in foreign aid is to rebel: +By force to circumscribe our lawful prince, +Is wilful treason in the largest sense: +And they who once rebel, must certainly +Their God, and king, and former oaths defy; +If ye allow no mal-administration +Could cancel the allegiance of the nation, +Let all our learned sons of Levi try, +This ecclesiastic riddle to untie; +How they could make a step to call the prince, +And yet pretend the oath and innocence. + + By th' first address they made beyond the seas, +They're perjur'd in the most intense degrees; +And without scruple for the time to come, +May swear to all the kings in Christendom: +Nay, truly did our kings consider all, +They'd never let the clergy swear at all, +Their politic allegiance they'd refuse, +For whores and priests do never want excuse. + + But if the mutual contract was dissolved, +The doubt's explain'd, the difficulty solved; +That kings, when they descend to tyranny, +Dissolve the bond, and leave the subject free; +The government's ungirt when justice dies, +And constitutions are nonentities. +The nation's all a mob, there's no such thing, +As lords, or commons, parliament, or king; +A great promiscuous crowd the Hydra lies, +Till laws revive and mutual contract ties; +A chaos free to choose for their own share, +What case of government they please to wear; +If to a king they do the reins commit, +All men are bound in conscience to submit; +But then the king must by his oath assent, +To _Postulata's_ of the government; +Which if he breaks he cuts off the entail, +And power retreats to its original. + + This doctrine has the sanction of assent +From nature's universal Parliament: +The voice of nations, and the course of things, +Allow that laws superior are to kings; +None but delinquents would have justice cease, +Knaves rail at laws, as soldiers rail at peace: +For justice is the end of government, +As reason is the test of argument: +No man was ever yet so void of sense, +As to debate the right of self-defence; +A principle so grafted in the mind, +With nature born, and does like nature bind; +Twisted with reason, and with nature too, +As neither one nor t'other can undo. + + Nor can this right be less when national, +Reason which governs one should govern all; +Whate'er the dialect of courts may tell, +He that his right demands can ne'er rebel; +Which right, if 'tis by governors denied, +May be procured by force or foreign aid; +For tyranny's a nation's term of grief, +As folks cry fire to hasten in relief; +And when the hated word is heard about, +All men should come to help the people out. + + Thus England groan'd, Britannia's voice was heard, +And great Nassau to rescue her appear'd: +Call'd by the universal voice of fate, +God and the people's legal magistrate: +Ye heavens regard! Almighty Jove look down, +And view thy injured monarch on the throne; +On their ungrateful heads due vengeance take +Who sought his aid, and then his part forsake: +Witness, ye powers! it was our call alone, +Which now our pride makes us ashamed to own; +Britannia's troubles fetch'd him from afar, +To court the dreadful casualties of war; +But where requital never can be made, +Acknowledgment's a tribute seldom paid. + + He dwelt in bright Maria's circling arms, +Defended by the magic of her charms, +From foreign fears and from domestic harms; +Ambition found no fuel for her fire, +He had what God could give or man desire, +Till pity roused him from his soft repose, +His life to unseen hazards to expose; +Till pity moved him in our cause to appear, +Pity! that word which now we hate to hear; +But English gratitude is always such, +To hate the hand that does oblige too much. + + Britannia's cries gave birth to his intent, +And hardly gain'd his unforeseen assent; +His boding thoughts foretold him he should find +The people fickle, selfish, and unkind; +Which thought did to his royal heart appear +More dreadful than the dangers of the war; +For nothing grates a generous mind so soon, +As base returns for hearty service done. + + Satire, be silent! awfully prepare +Britannia's song, and William's praise to hear; +Stand by, and let her cheerfully rehearse +Her grateful vows in her immortal verse. +Loud fame's eternal trumpet let her sound, +Listen, ye distant poles, and endless round, +May the strong blast the welcome news convey, +As far as sound can reach or spirit fly! +To neighb'ring worlds, if such there be, relate +Our heroes fame for theirs to imitate; +To distant worlds of spirits let her rehearse, +For spirits without the helps of voice converse: +May angels hear the gladsome news on high, +Mix'd with their everlasting symphony; +And hell itself stand in surprise to know, +Whether it be the fatal blast or no. + + +BRITANNIA. + + The fame of virtue 'tis for which I sound, +And heroes with immortal triumphs crown'd; +Fame built on solid virtue swifter flies, +Than morning light can spread the eastern skies: +The gath'ring air returns the doubling sound; +And loud repeating thunders force it round; +Echoes return from caverns of the deep, +Old Chaos dreams on't in eternal sleep: +Time hands it forward to its latest urn, +From whence it never, never shall return: +Nothing is heard so far, or lasts so long, +'Tis heard by ev'ry ear, and spoke by every tongue. + + My hero, with the sails of honour furl'd, +Rises like the great genius of the world; +By fate and fame wisely prepared to be +The soul of war and life of victory; +He spreads the wings of virtue on the throne, +And ev'ry wind of glory fans them on; +Immortal trophies dwell upon his brow, +Fresh as the garlands he has won but now. + + By different steps the high ascent he gains, +And differently that high ascent maintains: +Princes for pride and lust of rule make war, +And struggle for the name of conqueror; +Some fight for fame, and some for victory, +He fights to save, and conquers to set free. + + Then seek no phrase his titles to conceal, +And hide with words what actions must reveal; +No parallel from Hebrew stories take, +Of godlike kings my similies to make; +No borrowed names conceal my living theme, +But names and things directly I proclaim; +His honest merit does his glory raise, +Whom that exalts let no man fear to praise; +Of such a subject no man need be shy, +Virtue's above the reach of flattery; +He needs no character but his own fame, +Nor any flattering titles but his own name. + + William's the name that's spoke by every tongue, +William's the darling subject of my song; +Listen, ye virgins, to the charming sound, +And in eternal dances hand it round; +Your early offerings to this altar bring, +Make him at once a lover and a king; +May he submit to none but to your arms, +Nor ever be subdued, but by your charms; +May your soft thoughts for him be all sublime, +And ev'ry tender vow be made for him; +May he be first in ev'ry morning thought, +And heav'n ne'er hear a prayer where he's left out; +May every omen, every boding dream, +Be fortunate by mentioning his name; +May this one charm infernal powers affright, +And guard you from the terror of the night; +May ev'ry cheerful glass as it goes down +To William's health, be cordials to your own: +Let ev'ry song be chorust with his name, +And music pay her tribute to his fame; +Let ev'ry poet tune his artful verse, +And in immortal strains his deeds rehearse: +And may Apollo never more inspire +The disobedient bard with his seraphic fire +May all my sons their grateful homage pay, +His praises sing, and for his safety pray. + + Satire, return to our unthankful isle, +Secured by heaven's regards, and William's toil: +To both ungrateful, and to both untrue, +Rebels to God, and to good nature too. + + If e'er this nation be distress'd again, +To whomsoe'er they cry, they'll cry in vain; +To heav'n they cannot have the face to look, +Or, if they should, it would but heav'n provoke; +To hope for help from man would be too much, +Mankind would always tell 'em of the Dutch: +How they came here our freedoms to maintain, +Were paid, and cursed, and hurried home again; +How by their aid we first dissolved our fears, +And then our helpers damn'd for foreigners: +'Tis not our English temper to do better, +For Englishmen think ev'ry one their debtor. + + 'Tis worth observing, that we ne'er complain'd +Of foreigners, nor of the wealth we gain'd, +Till all their services were at an end: +Wise men affirm it is the English way, +Never to grumble till they come to pay; +And then they always think, their temper's such, +The work too little, and the pay too much. + + As frighted patients, when they want a cure, +Bid any price, and any pain endure: +But when the doctor's remedies appear, +The cure's too easy, and the price too dear: +Great Portland near was banter'd when he strove, +For us his master's kindest thoughts to move: +We ne'er lampoon'd his conduct, when employ'd +King James's secret councils to divide: +Then we caress'd him as the only man, +Who could the doubtful oracle explain; +The only Hushai, able to repel +The dark designs of our Achitophel: +Compared his master's courage to his sense, +The ablest statesman, and the bravest prince; +On his wise conduct we depended much, +And liked him ne'er the worse for being Dutch: +Nor was he valued more than he deserved, +Freely he ventured, faithfully he served; +In all King William's dangers he has shared, +In England's quarrels always he appear'd: +The revolution first, and then the Boyne, +In both, his counsels and his conduct shine; +His martial valour Flanders will confess, +And France regrets his managing the peace; +Faithful to England's interest and her king, +The greatest reason of our murmuring: +Ten years in English service he appear'd, +And gain'd his master's and the world's regard; +But 'tis not England's custom to reward, +The wars are over, England needs him not; +Now he's a Dutchman, and the Lord knows what. + + Schonbergh, the ablest soldier of his age, +With great Nassau did in our cause engage; +Both join'd for England's rescue and defence, +The greatest captain and the greatest prince; +With what applause his stories did we tell, +Stories which Europe's volumes largely swell! +We counted him an army in our aid, +Where he commanded, no man was afraid; +His actions with a constant conquest shine, +From Villa Vitiosa to the Rhine; +France, Flanders, Germany, his fame confess, +And all the world was fond of him but us: +Our turn first served, we grudged him the command, +Witness the grateful temper of the land. + + We blame the King, that he relies too much, +On Strangers, Germans, Hugonots, and Dutch; +And seldom does his great affairs of state, +To English counsellors communicate: +The fact might very well be answer'd thus: +He had so often been betray'd by us, +He must have been a madman to rely, +On English gentlemen's fidelity; +For, laying other argument aside: +This thought might mortify our English pride; +That foreigners have faithfully obey'd him, +And none but Englishmen have e'er betray'd him: +They have our ships and merchants bought and sold, +And barter'd English blood for foreign gold; +First to the French they sold our Turkey fleet, +And injured Talmarsh next at Cameret; +The king himself is shelter'd from their snares, +Not by his merits, but the crown he wears; +Experience tells us 'tis the English way, +Their benefactors always to betray. + + And, lest examples should be too remote, +A modern magistrate of famous note, +Shall give you his own history by rote; +I'll make it out, deny it he that can, +His worship is a true-born Englishman; +By all the latitude that empty word, +By modern acceptation's understood: +The parish books his great descent record, +And now he hopes ere long to be a lord; +And truly, as things go, it would be pity, +But such as he bore office in the city; +While robb'ry for burnt-offering he brings, +And gives to God what he has stole from kings; +Great monuments of charity he raises, +And good St. Magnus whistles out his praises; +To city jails he grants a jubilee, +And hires huzza's from his own mobile. + + Lately he wore the golden chain and gown, +With which equipp'd he thus harangued the town. + + +HIS FINE SPEECH, &c. + + With clouted iron shoes, and sheep-skin breeches, +More rags than manners, and more dirt than riches, +From driving cows and calves to Leyton market, +While of my greatness there appear'd no spark yet, +Behold I come to let you see the pride, +With which exalted beggars always ride. + + Born to the needful labours of the plough, +The cart-whip graced me, as the chain does now. +Nature and fate in doubt what course to take, +Whether I should a lord or plough-boy make; +Kindly at last resolv'd they would promote me, +And first a knave, and then a knight they vote me. +What fate appointed, nature did prepare, +And furnish'd me with an exceeding care, +To fit me for what they design'd to have me; +And every gift but honesty they gave me. + + And thus equipp'd, to this proud town I came, +In quest of bread, and not in quest of fame. +Blind to my future fate, an humble boy, +Free from the guilt and glory I enjoy. +The hopes which my ambition entertain'd, +Where in the name of foot-boy, all contain'd. +The greatest heights from small beginnings rise; +The gods were great on earth, before they reach'd the skies. + + Backwell, the generous temper of whose mind, +Was always to be bountiful inclin'd: +Whether by his ill fate or fancy led, +First took me up, and furnish'd me with bread: +The little services he put me to, +Seem'd labours, rather than were truly so. +But always my advancement he design'd; +For 'twas his very nature to be kind: +Large was his soul, his temper ever free; +The best of masters and of men to me: +And I who was before decreed by fate, +To be made infamous as well as great, +With an obsequious diligence obey'd him, +Till trusted with his all, and then betray'd him. + + All his past kindnesses I trampled on, +Ruin'd his fortunes to erect my own: +So vipers in the bosom bred begin, +To hiss at that hand first which took them in; +With eager treach'ry I his fall pursu'd, +And my first trophies were ingratitude. + + Ingratitude's the worst of human guilt, +The basest action mankind can commit; +Which, like the sin against the Holy Ghost, +Has least of honour, and of guilt the most; +Distinguished from all other crimes by this, +That 'tis a crime which no man will confess; +That sin alone, which should not be forgiv'n +On earth, altho' perhaps it may in heaven. + + Thus my first benefactor I o'erthrew; +And how shou'd I be to a second true? +The public trust came next into my care, +And I to use them scurvily prepare: +My needy sov'reign lord I play'd upon, +And lent him many a thousand of his own; +For which great interest I took care to charge, +And so my ill-got wealth became so large. + + My predecessor Judas was a fool, +Fitter to have been whipt and sent to school, +Than sell a Saviour: had I been at hand, +His Master had not been so cheap trepann'd; +I would have made the eager Jews have found, +For thirty pieces, thirty thousand pound. + + My cousin Ziba, of immortal fame, +(Ziba and I shall never want a name:) +First-born of treason, nobly did advance +His Master's fall, for his inheritance: +By whose keen arts old David first began +To break his sacred oath to Jonathan: +The good old king 'tis thought was very loth +To break his word, and therefore broke his oath. +Ziba's a traitor of some quality, +Yet Ziba might have been inform'd by me: +Had I been there, he ne'er had been content +With half th' estate, nor half the government. + + In our late revolution 'twas thought strange, +That I of all mankind should like the change, +But they who wonder'd at it never knew, +That in it I did my old game pursue: +Nor had they heard of twenty thousand pound, +Which ne'er was lost, yet never could be found. + + Thus all things in their turn to sale I bring, +God and my master first, and then the king; +Till by successful villanies made bold, +I thought to turn the nation into gold; +And so to forgery my hand I bent, +Not doubting I could gull the Government; +But there was ruffl'd by the Parliament. +And if I 'scaped th' unhappy tree to climb, +'Twas want of law, and not for want of crime; + + But my old friend,[A] who printed in my face +A needful competence of English brass; +Having more business yet for me to do, +And loth to lose his trusty servant so, +Managed the matter with such art and skill, +As sav'd his hero, and threw out the Bill. + + And now I'm grac'd with unexpected honours, +For which I'll certainly abuse the donors: +Knighted, and made a tribune of the people, +Whose laws and properties I'm like to keep well: +The custos rotulorum of the city, +And captain of the guards of their banditti. +Surrounded by my catchpoles, I declare +Against the needy debtor open war. +I hang poor thieves for stealing of your pelf, +And suffer none to rob you, but myself. + + The king commanded me to help reform ye, +And how I'll do't, Miss ---- shall inform ye. +I keep the best seraglio in the nation, +And hope in time to bring it into fashion; +No brimstone whore need fear the lash from me, +That part I'll leave to Brother Jefferey: +Our gallants need not go abroad to Rome, +I'll keep a whoring jubilee at home; +Whoring's the darling of my inclination; +An't I a magistrate for reformation? +For this my praise is sung by ev'ry bard, +For which Bridewell wou'd be a just reward. +In print my panegyric fills the street, +And hired gaol-birds their huzzas repeat; +Some charities contriv'd to make a show, +Have taught the needy rabble to do so; +Whose empty noise is a mechanic fame, +Since for Sir Beelzebub they'd do the same. + +[Footnote A: The Devil.] + + +THE CONCLUSION. + + Then let us boast of ancestors no more, +Or deeds of heroes done in days of yore, +In latent records of the ages past, +Behind the rear of time, in long oblivion plac'd; +For if our virtues must in lines descend, +The merit with the families would end, +And intermixtures would most fatal grow; +For vice would be hereditary too; +The tainted blood would of necessity, +Involuntary wickedness convey. + + Vice, like ill-nature, for an age or two, +May seem a generation to pursue; +But virtue seldom does regard the breed, +Fools do the wise, and wise men fools succeed. + + What is't to us, what ancestors we had? +If good, what better? or what worse, if bad? +Examples are for imitation set, +Yet all men follow virtue with regret. + + Could but our ancestors retrieve their fate, +And see their offspring thus degenerate; +How we contend for birth and names unknown, +And build on their past actions, not our own; +They'd cancel records, and their tombs deface, +And openly disown the vile degenerate race: +For fame of families is all a cheat, +It's personal virtue only makes us great. + + +THE END. + + + + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The True-Born Englishman, by Daniel Defoe + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN *** + +***** This file should be named 30159-8.txt or 30159-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/0/1/5/30159/ + +Produced by Steven Gibbs, Linda Cantoni, and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The True-Born Englishman + A Satire + +Author: Daniel Defoe + +Release Date: October 2, 2009 [EBook #30159] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN *** + + + + +Produced by Steven Gibbs, Linda Cantoni, and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + + + + +<div class="notes"> +<p><i>Transcriber's Note:</i> This satire in verse by Daniel Defoe (c. +1659-1731) was first published in 1701 under the title, <i>The True-Born +Englishman. A Satyr</i>, and went through numerous editions in Defoe's +lifetime. This e-book was prepared from <i>The Novels and Miscellaneous +Works of Daniel De Foe</i>, Volume 5 (London: Henry G. Bohn, 1855), in +which the spelling, punctuation, and capitalization have apparently +been modernized. Page numbers have been omitted from this e-book, and +obvious printer errors have been corrected. A <a href="#CONTENTS">table of contents</a> has +been added for the reader's convenience.</p> +</div> + +<p><br /></p> + +<div class="bbox"> +<h1><span class="xsm">THE</span><br /> +<br /> +TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN:</h1> + +<h2><span class="sm">A</span><br /> +<br /> +SATIRE.</h2> + +<div class="blockquot"> +<p class="hang">Statuimus pacem, et securitatem et concordiam judicum et justiciam +inter Anglos et Normannos, Francos et Britanes, Walliæ, et Cornubiæ, +Pictos et Scotos, Albaniæ, similiter inter Francos et insulanos +provincias et patrias, quæ pertinent ad coronam nostram, et inter +omnes nobis subjectos firmiter et inviolabiliter observare.</p> + +<p>Charta Regis Gullielmi Conquisitoris de Pacis Publica, cap. i.</p> +</div> +</div> + +<hr /> +<h2><a name="CONTENTS" id="CONTENTS"></a>CONTENTS</h2> + +<p class="center"><a href="#EXPLANATORY">AN EXPLANATORY PREFACE.</a></p> +<p class="center"><a href="#PREFACE">PREFACE.</a></p> +<p class="center"><a href="#THE_INTRODUCTION">THE INTRODUCTION.</a></p> +<p class="center"><a href="#TRUE-BORN">THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN.</a></p> +<p class="center"><a href="#PART_I">PART I.</a></p> +<p class="center"><a href="#PART_II">PART II.</a></p> +<p class="center"><a href="#BRITANNIA">BRITANNIA.</a></p> +<p class="center"><a href="#SPEECH">HIS FINE SPEECH, &c.</a></p> +<p class="center"><a href="#CONCLUSION">THE CONCLUSION.</a></p> + + +<hr /> +<h2><a name="EXPLANATORY" id="EXPLANATORY"></a><span class="sm">AN</span><br /> +<br /> +EXPLANATORY PREFACE.</h2> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p><span class="smcap">It</span> is not that I see any reason to alter my opinion in any thing I +have writ, which occasions this epistle; but I find it necessary for +the satisfaction of some persons of honour, as well as wit, to pass a +short explication upon it; and tell the world what I mean, or rather, +what I do not mean, in some things wherein I find I am liable to be +misunderstood.</p> + +<p>I confess myself something surpris'd to hear that I am taxed with +bewraying my own nest, and abusing our nation, by discovering the +meanness of our original, in order to make the English contemptible +abroad and at home; in which, I think, they are mistaken: for why +should not our neighbours be as good as we to derive from? And I must +add, that had we been an unmix'd nation, I am of opinion it had been +to our disadvantage: for to go no farther, we have three nations about +us as clear from mixtures of blood as any in the world, and I know not +which of them I could wish ourselves to be like; I mean the Scots, the +Welsh, and the Irish; and if I were to write a reverse to the Satire, +I would examine all the nations of Europe, and prove, that those +nations which are most mix'd, are the best, and have least of +barbarism and brutality among them; and abundance of reasons might be +given for it, too long to bring into a Preface.</p> + +<p>But I give this hint, to let the world know, that I am far from +thinking, 'tis a Satire upon the English nation, to tell them, they +are derived from all the nations under heaven; that is, from several +nations. Nor is it meant to undervalue the original of the English, +for we see no reason to like them worse, being the relicts of Romans, +Danes, Saxons and Normans, than we should have done if they had +remain'd Britons, that is, than if they had been all Welshmen.</p> + +<p>But the intent of the Satire is pointed at the vanity of those who +talk of their antiquity, and value themselves upon their pedigree, +their ancient families, and being true-born; whereas 'tis impossible +we should be true-born: and if we could, should have lost by the +bargain.</p> + +<p>These sort of people, who call themselves true-born, and tell long +stories of their families, and like a nobleman of Venice, think a +foreigner ought not to walk on the same side of the street with them, +are own'd to be meant in this Satire. What they would infer from their +long original, I know not, nor is it easy to make out whether they are +the better or the worse for their ancestors: our English nation may +value themselves for their wit, wealth and courage, and I believe few +nations will dispute it with them; but for long originals, and ancient +true-born families of English, I would advise them to wave the +discourse. A true Englishman is one that deserves a character, and I +have nowhere lessened him, that I know of; but as for a true-born +Englishman, I confess I do not understand him.</p> + +<p>From hence I only infer, that an Englishman, of all men, ought not to +despise foreigners as such, and I think the inference is just, since +what they are to-day, we were yesterday, and to-morrow they will be +like us. If foreigners misbehave in their several stations and +employments, I have nothing to do with that; the laws are open to +punish them equally with natives, and let them have no favour.</p> + +<p>But when I see the town full of lampoons and invectives against +Dutchmen, only because they are foreigners, and the king reproached +and insulted by insolent pedants, and ballad-making poets, for +employing foreigners, and for being a foreigner himself, I confess +myself moved by it to remind our nation of their own original, thereby +to let them see what a banter is put upon ourselves in it; since +speaking of Englishmen <i>ab origine</i>, we are really all foreigners +ourselves.</p> + +<p>I could go on to prove it is also impolitic in us to discourage +foreigners; since it is easy to make it appear that the multitudes of +foreign nations who have taken sanctuary here, have been the greatest +additions to the wealth and strength of the nation; the essential +whereof is the number of its inhabitants; nor would this nation ever +have arrived to the degree of wealth and glory it now boasts of, if +the addition of foreign nations, both as to manufactures and arms, +had not been helpful to it. This is so plain, that he who is ignorant +of it, is too dull to be talked with.</p> + +<p>The Satire therefore I must allow to be just, till I am otherwise +convinced; because nothing can be more ridiculous than to hear our +people boast of that antiquity, which if it had been true, would have +left us in so much worse a condition than we are in now: whereas we +ought rather to boast among our neighbours, that we are part of +themselves, of the same original as they, but bettered by our climate, +and like our language and manufactures, derived from them, and +improved by us to a perfection greater than they can pretend to.</p> + +<p>This we might have valued ourselves upon without vanity; but to disown +our descent from them, talk big of our ancient families, and long +originals, and stand at a distance from foreigners, like the +enthusiast in religion, with a Stand off, I am more holy than thou: +this is a thing so ridiculous, in a nation derived from foreigners, as +we are, that I could not but attack them as I have done.</p> + +<p>And whereas I am threatened to be called to a public account for this +freedom; and the publisher of this has been newspapered into gaol +already for it; tho' I see nothing in it for which the government can +be displeased; yet if at the same time those people who with an +unlimited arrogance in print, every day affront the king, prescribe +the parliament, and lampoon the government, may be either punished or +restrained, I am content to stand and fall by the public justice of my +native country, which I am not sensible I have anywhere injured.</p> + +<p>Nor would I be misunderstood concerning the clergy; with whom, if I +have taken any license more than becomes a Satire, I question not but +those gentlemen, who are men of letters, are also men of so much +candor, as to allow me a loose at the crimes of the guilty, without +thinking the whole profession lashed who are innocent. I profess to +have very mean thoughts of those gentlemen who have deserted their own +principles, and exposed even their morals as well as loyality; but not +at all to think it affects any but such as are concerned in the fact.</p> + +<p>Nor would I be misrepresented as to the ingratitude of the English to +the king and his friends; as if I meant the English as a nation, are +so. The contrary is so apparent, that I would hope it should not be +suggested of me: and, therefore when I have brought in Britannia +speaking of the king, I suppose her to be the representative or mouth +of the nation, as a body. But if I say we are full of such who daily +affront the king, and abuse his friends; who print scurrilous +pamphlets, virulent lampoons, and reproachful public banters, against +both the king's person and his government; I say nothing but what is +too true; and that the Satire is directed at such, I freely own; and +cannot say, but I should think it very hard to be censured for this +Satire, while such remain unquestioned and tacitly approved. That I +can mean none but such, is plain from these few lines, +<span title="Transcriber's Note: This reference is to a page number in the 1855 reprint edition."><a href="#Ye_heavens">page 453</a></span>.</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" summary="lines"> +<tr> +<td> +Ye heavens regard! Almighty Jove, look down,<br /> +And view thy injured monarch on the throne.<br /> +On their ungrateful heads due vengeance take,<br /> +Who sought his aid, and then his part forsake. +</td> +</tr> +</table> + +<p>If I have fallen rudely upon our vices, I hope none but the vicious +will be angry. As for writing for interest, I disown it; I have +neither place, nor pension, nor prospect; nor seek none, nor will have +none: if matter of fact justifies the truth of the crimes, the Satire +is just. As to the poetic liberties, I hope the crime is pardonable; I +am content to be stoned, provided none will attack me but the +innocent.</p> + +<p>If my countrymen would take the hint, and grow better natured from my +ill-natured poem as some call it; I would say this of it, that though +it is far from the best Satire that ever was wrote, it would do the +most good that ever Satire did.</p> + +<p>And yet I am ready to ask pardon of some gentlemen too; who though +they are Englishmen, have good nature enough to see themselves +reproved, and can hear it. These are gentlemen in a true sense, that +can bare to be told of their <i>faux pas</i>, and not abuse the reprover. +To such I must say, this is no Satire; they are exceptions to the +general rule; and I value my performance from their generous +approbation, more than I can from any opinion I have of its worth.</p> + +<p>The hasty errors of my verse I made my excuse for before; and since +the time I have been upon it has been but little, and my leisure less, +I have all along strove rather to make the thoughts explicit, than the +poem correct. However, I have mended some faults in this edition, and +the rest must be placed to my account.</p> + +<p>As to answers, banters, true English Billingsgate, I expect them till +nobody will buy, and then the shop will be shut. Had I wrote it for +the gain of the press, I should have been concerned at its being +printed again, and again, by pirates, as they call them, and +paragraph-men; but would they but do it justice, and print it true, +according to the copy, they are welcome to sell it for a penny, if +they please.</p> + +<p>The pence, indeed, is the end of their works. I will engage if nobody +will buy, nobody will write: and not a patriot poet of them all, now +will in defence of his native country, which I have abused, they say, +print an answer to it, and give it about for God's sake.</p> + + + +<hr /> +<h2><a name="PREFACE" id="PREFACE"></a>PREFACE.</h2> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> end of satire is reformation: and the author, though he doubt the +work of conversion is at a general stop, has put his hand in the +plough. I expect a storm of ill language from the fury of the town. +And especially from those whose English talent it is to rail: and, +without being taken for a conjuror, I may venture to foretel, that I +shall be cavilled at about my mean style, rough verse, and incorrect +language, things I indeed might have taken more care in. But the book +is printed; and though I see some faults, it is too late to mend them. +And this is all I think needful to say to them.</p> + +<p>Possibly somebody may take me for a Dutchman; in which they are +mistaken: but I am one that would be glad to see Englishmen behave +themselves better to strangers, and to governors also, that one might +not be reproached in foreign countries for belonging to a nation that +wants manners.</p> + +<p>I assure you, gentlemen, strangers use us better abroad; and we can +give no reason but our ill-nature for the contrary here.</p> + +<p>Methinks an Englishman who is so proud of being called a good fellow, +should be civil. And it cannot be denied, but we are, in many cases, +and particularly to strangers, the most churlish people alive.</p> + +<p>As to vices, who can dispute our intemperance, while an honest drunken +fellow is a character in a man's praise? All our reformations are +banters, and will be so till our magistrates and gentry reform +themselves, by way of example; then, and not till then, they may be +expected to punish others without blushing.</p> + +<p>As to our ingratitude, I desire to be understood of that particular +people, who pretending to be Protestants, have all along endeavoured +to reduce the liberties and religion of this nation into the hands of +King James and his Popish powers: together with such who enjoy the +peace and protection of the present government, and yet abuse and +affront the king who procured it, and openly profess their uneasiness +under him: these, by whatsoever names or titles they are dignified or +distinguished, are the people aimed at; nor do I disown, but that it +is so much the temper of an Englishman to abuse his benefactor, that I +could be glad to see it rectified.</p> + +<p>They who think I have been guilty of any error, in exposing the crimes +of my own countrymen to themselves, may, among many honest instances +of the like nature, find the same thing in Mr. Cowley, in his +imitation of the second Olympic Ode of Pindar; his words are these:—</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" summary="lines"> +<tr> +<td> +But in this thankless world, the givers<br /> +Are envied even by the receivers.<br /> +'Tis now the cheap and frugal fashion,<br /> +Rather to hide than pay an obligation.<br /> +Nay, 'tis much worse than so;<br /> +It now an artifice doth grow,<br /> +Wrongs and outrages they do,<br /> +Lest men should think we owe. +</td> +</tr> +</table> + + + +<hr /> +<h2><a name="THE_INTRODUCTION" id="THE_INTRODUCTION"></a>THE INTRODUCTION.</h2> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p> +<span class="smcap">Speak</span>, Satire, for there's none can tell like thee,<br /> +Whether 'tis folly, pride, or knavery,<br /> +That makes this discontented land appear<br /> +Less happy now in times of peace, than war:<br /> +Why civil feuds disturb the nation more,<br /> +Than all our bloody wars have done before.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Fools</span> out of favour grudge at knaves in place,</span><br /> +And men are always honest in disgrace:<br /> +The court preferments make men knaves in course:<br /> +But they which wou'd be in them wou'd be worse.<br /> +'Tis not at foreigners that we repine,<br /> +Wou'd foreigners their perquisites resign:<br /> +The grand contention's plainly to be seen,<br /> +To get some men put out, and some put in.<br /> +For this our Senators make long harangues.<br /> +And florid Ministers whet their polish'd tongues.<br /> +Statesmen are always sick of one disease;<br /> +And a good pension gives them present ease.<br /> +That's the specific makes them all content<br /> +With any King and any government.<br /> +Good patriots at court abuses rail,<br /> +And all the nation's grievances bewail:<br /> +But when the sov'reign balsam's once apply'd,<br /> +The zealot never fails to change his side;<br /> +And when he must the golden key resign,<br /> +The railing spirit comes about again.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Who</span> shall this bubbl'd nation disabuse,</span><br /> +While they their own felicities refuse?<br /> +Who at the wars have made such mighty pother,<br /> +And now are falling out with one another:<br /> +With needless fears the jealous nations fill,<br /> +And always have been sav'd against their will:<br /> +Who fifty millions sterling have disburs'd<br /> +To be with peace, and too much plenty, curs'd;<br /> +Who their old monarch eagerly undo,<br /> +And yet uneasily obey the new.<br /> +Search, Satire, search; a deep incision make:<br /> +The poison's strong, the antidote's too weak.<br /> +'Tis pointed truth must manage this dispute,<br /> +And down-right English, Englishmen confute.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Whet</span> thy just anger at the nation's pride;</span><br /> +And with keen phrase repel the vicious tide,<br /> +To Englishmen their own beginnings show,<br /> +And ask them, why they slight their neighbours so:<br /> +Go back to elder times, and ages past,<br /> +And nations into long oblivion cast;<br /> +To elder Britain's youthful days retire,<br /> +And there for true-born Englishmen inquire,<br /> +Britannia freely will disown the name,<br /> +And hardly knows herself from whence they came;<br /> +Wonders that they of all men should pretend<br /> +To birth, and blood, and for a name contend.<br /> +Go back to causes where our follies dwell,<br /> +And fetch the dark original from hell:<br /> +Speak, Satire, for there's none like thee can tell.<br /> +</p> + + + +<hr /> +<h2><a name="TRUE-BORN" id="TRUE-BORN"></a><span class="sm">THE</span><br /> +<br /> +TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN.</h2> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<h3><a name="PART_I" id="PART_I"></a>PART I.</h3> + +<p> +<span class="smcap">Wherever</span> God erects a house of prayer,<br /> +The Devil always builds a chapel there:<br /> +And 'twill be found upon examination,<br /> +The latter has the largest congregation:<br /> +For ever since he first debauch'd the mind,<br /> +He made a perfect conquest of mankind.<br /> +With uniformity of service, he<br /> +Reigns with general aristocracy.<br /> +No non-conforming sects disturb his reign,<br /> +For of his yoke, there's very few complain.<br /> +He knows the genius and the inclination,<br /> +And matches proper sins for ev'ry nation.<br /> +He needs no standing army government;<br /> +He always rules us by our own consent:<br /> +His laws are easy, and his gentle sway<br /> +Makes it exceeding pleasant to obey.<br /> +The list of his vicegerents and commanders,<br /> +Out-does your Cæsars, or your Alexanders.<br /> +They never fail of his infernal aid,<br /> +And he's as certain ne'er to be betray'd.<br /> +Thro' all the world they spread his vast command,<br /> +And death's eternal empire is maintain'd.<br /> +They rule so politicly and so well,<br /> +As if they were Lords Justices of hell;<br /> +Duly divided to debauch mankind,<br /> +And plant infernal dictates in his mind.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Pride</span>, the first peer, and president of hell,</span><br /> +To his share, Spain, the largest province fell.<br /> +The subtle Prince thought fittest to bestow<br /> +On these the golden mines of Mexico,<br /> +With all the silver mountains of Peru;<br /> +Wealth which in wise hands would the world undo;<br /> +Because he knew their genius was such,<br /> +Too lazy and too haughty to be rich:<br /> +So proud a people, so above their fate,<br /> +That, if reduced to beg, they'll beg in state:<br /> +Lavish of money, to be counted brave,<br /> +And proudly starve, because they scorn to save;<br /> +Never was nation in the world before,<br /> +So very rich, and yet so very poor.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Lust</span> chose the torrid zone of Italy,</span><br /> +Where blood ferments in rapes and sodomy:<br /> +Where swelling veins o'erflow with living streams,<br /> +With heat impregnate from Vesuvian flames;<br /> +Whose flowing sulphur forms infernal lakes,<br /> +And human body of the soil partakes.<br /> +There nature ever burns with hot desires,<br /> +Fann'd with luxuriant air from subterranean fires:<br /> +Here undisturbed, in floods of scalding lust,<br /> +Th' infernal king reigns with infernal gust.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Drunkenness</span>, the darling favourite of hell,</span><br /> +Chose Germany to rule; and rules so well,<br /> +No subjects more obsequiously obey,<br /> +None please so well, or are so pleased as they;<br /> +The cunning artist manages so well,<br /> +He lets them bow to heav'n, and drink to hell.<br /> +If but to wine and him they homage pay,<br /> +He cares not to what deity they pray;<br /> +What god they worship most, or in what way.<br /> +Whether by Luther, Calvin, or by Rome,<br /> +They sail for heaven, by wine he steers them home.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Ungovern'd passion</span> settled first in France,</span><br /> +Where mankind lives in haste, and thrives by chance;<br /> +A dancing nation, fickle and untrue,<br /> +Have oft undone themselves, and others too;<br /> +Prompt the infernal dictates to obey,<br /> +And in hell's favour none more great than they.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> pagan world he blindly leads away,</span><br /> +And personally rules with arbitrary sway:<br /> +The mask thrown off, plain devil, his title stands;<br /> +And what elsewhere he tempts, he there commands;<br /> +There, with full gust, th' ambition of his mind,<br /> +Governs, as he of old in heaven design'd:<br /> +Worshipp'd as God, his Paynim altars smoke,<br /> +Imbrued with blood of those that him invoke.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> rest by deputies he rules so well,</span><br /> +And plants the distant colonies of hell;<br /> +By them his secret power he firm maintains,<br /> +And binds the world in his infernal chains.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">By</span> zeal the Irish, and the Russ by folly,</span><br /> +Fury the Dane, the Swede by melancholy;<br /> +By stupid ignorance, the Muscovite;<br /> +The Chinese, by a child of hell, call'd wit;<br /> +Wealth makes the Persian too effeminate;<br /> +And poverty the Tartar desperate:<br /> +The Turks and Moors, by Mah'met he subdues;<br /> +And God has given him leave to rule the Jews:<br /> +Rage rules the Portuguese, and fraud the Scotch;<br /> +Revenge the Pole, and avarice the Dutch.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Satire</span>, be kind, and draw a silent veil,</span><br /> +Thy native England's vices to conceal:<br /> +Or, if that task's impossible to do,<br /> +At least be just, and show her virtues too;<br /> +Too great the first, alas! the last too few.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">England</span>, unknown, as yet unpeopled lay,—</span><br /> +Happy, had she remain'd so to this day,<br /> +And still to ev'ry nation been a prey.<br /> +Her open harbours, and her fertile plains,<br /> +The merchant's glory these, and those the swain's,<br /> +To ev'ry barbarous nation have betray'd her;<br /> +Who conquer her as oft as they invade her,<br /> +So beauty, guarded out by Innocence,<br /> +That ruins her which should be her defence.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Ingratitude</span>, a devil of black renown,</span><br /> +Possess'd her very early for his own:<br /> +An ugly, surly, sullen, selfish spirit,<br /> +Who Satan's worst perfections does inherit;<br /> +Second to him in malice and in force,<br /> +All devil without, and all within him worse.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">He</span> made her first-born race to be so rude,</span><br /> +And suffer'd her to be so oft subdued;<br /> +By sev'ral crowds of wandering thieves o'er-run,<br /> +Often unpeopled, and as oft undone;<br /> +While ev'ry nation that her powers reduced,<br /> +Their languages and manners introduced;<br /> +From whose mix'd relics our compounded breed,<br /> +By spurious generation does succeed;<br /> +Making a race uncertain and uneven,<br /> +Derived from all the nations under heaven.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> Romans first with Julius Cæsar came,</span><br /> +Including all the nations of that name,<br /> +Gauls, Greek, and Lombards; and, by computation,<br /> +Auxiliaries or slaves of ev'ry nation.<br /> +With Hengist, Saxons; Danes with Sweno came,<br /> +In search of plunder, not in search of fame.<br /> +Scots, Picts, and Irish from th' Hibernian shore;<br /> +And conq'ring William brought the Normans o'er.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">All</span> these their barb'rous offspring left behind,</span><br /> +The dregs of armies, they of all mankind;<br /> +Blended with Britons, who before were here,<br /> +Of whom the Welch ha' blest the character.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">From</span> this amphibious, ill-born mob began,</span><br /> +That vain ill-natured thing, an Englishman.<br /> +The customs, sirnames, languages, and manners,<br /> +Of all these nations, are their own explainers;<br /> +Whose relics are so lasting and so strong,<br /> +They've left a Shiboleth upon our tongue;<br /> +By which, with easy search, you may distinguish<br /> +Your Roman, Saxon, Danish, Norman, English.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> great invading Norman let us know</span><br /> +What conquerors in after-times might do.<br /> +To every musqueteer he brought to town,<br /> +He gave the lands which never were his own;<br /> +When first the English crown he did obtain,<br /> +He did not send his Dutchmen home again.<br /> +No re-assumptions in his reign were known,<br /> +Davenant might there ha' let his book alone.<br /> +No parliament his army could disband;<br /> +He raised no money, for he paid in land.<br /> +He gave his legions their eternal station,<br /> +And made them all freeholders of the nation.<br /> +He canton'd out the country to his men,<br /> +And every soldier was a denizen.<br /> +The rascals thus enrich'd, he called them lords,<br /> +To please their upstart pride with new-made words,<br /> +And doomsday book his tyranny records.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">And</span> here begins the ancient pedigree</span><br /> +That so exalts our poor nobility.<br /> +'Tis that from some French trooper they derive,<br /> +Who with the Norman bastard did arrive:<br /> +The trophies of the families appear;<br /> +Some show the sword, the bow, and some the spear,<br /> +Which their great ancestor, forsooth, did wear.<br /> +These in the herald's register remain,<br /> +Their noble mean extraction to explain,<br /> +Yet who the hero was no man can tell,<br /> +Whether a drummer or a colonel:<br /> +The silent record blushes to reveal<br /> +Their undescended dark original.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">But</span> grant the best. How came the change to pass;</span><br /> +A true-born Englishman of Norman race?<br /> +A Turkish horse can show more history,<br /> +To prove his well-descended family.<br /> +Conquest, as by the moderns 'tis express'd,<br /> +May give a title to the lands possess'd;<br /> +But that the longest sword should be so civil,<br /> +To make a Frenchman English, that's the devil.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">These</span> are the heroes that despise the Dutch,</span><br /> +And rail at new-come foreigners so much;<br /> +Forgetting that themselves are all derived<br /> +From the most scoundrel race that ever lived;<br /> +A horrid crowd of rambling thieves and drones<br /> +Who ransack'd kingdoms, and dispeopled towns;<br /> +The Pict and painted Briton, treach'rous Scot,<br /> +By hunger, theft, and rapine, hither brought;<br /> +Norwegian pirates, buccaneering Danes,<br /> +Whose red-hair'd offspring everywhere remains;<br /> +Who, join'd with Norman French, compound the breed<br /> +From whence your true-born Englishmen proceed.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">And</span> lest, by length of time, it be pretended,</span><br /> +The climate may this modern breed have mended;<br /> +Wise Providence, to keep us where we are,<br /> +Mixes us daily with exceeding care;<br /> +We have been Europe's sink, the jakes, where she<br /> +Voids all her offal out-cast progeny;<br /> +From our fifth Henry's time the strolling bands,<br /> +Of banish'd fugitives from neighb'ring lands,<br /> +Have here a certain sanctuary found:<br /> +The eternal refuge of the vagabond,<br /> +Where in but half a common age of time,<br /> +Borrowing new blood and manners from the clime,<br /> +Proudly they learn all mankind to contemn,<br /> +And all their race are true-born Englishmen.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Dutch</span> Walloons, Flemmings, Irishmen, and Scots,</span><br /> +Vaudois, and Valtolins, and Hugonots,<br /> +In good Queen Bess's charitable reign,<br /> +Supplied us with three hundred thousand men:<br /> +Religion—God, we thank thee!—sent them hither,<br /> +Priests, Protestants, the devil, and all together;<br /> +Of all professions, and of ev'ry trade,<br /> +All that were persecuted or afraid:<br /> +Whether for debt, or other crimes, they fled,<br /> +David at Hackelah was still their head.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> offspring of this miscellaneous crowd,</span><br /> +Had not their new plantations long enjoy'd,<br /> +But they grew Englishmen, and raised their votes,<br /> +At foreign shoals of interloping Scots;<br /> +The royal branch from Pict-land did succeed,<br /> +With troops of Scots and scabs from north of Tweed;<br /> +The seven first years of his pacific reign,<br /> +Made him and half his nation Englishmen.<br /> +Scots from the northern frozen banks of Tay,<br /> +With packs and plods came whigging all away,<br /> +Thick as the locusts which in Egypt swarm'd,<br /> +With pride and hungry hopes completely arm'd;<br /> +With native truth, diseases, and no money,<br /> +Plunder'd our Canaan of the milk and honey;<br /> +Here they grew quickly lords and gentlemen,<br /> +And all their race are true-born Englishmen.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> civil wars, the common purgative,</span><br /> +Which always use to make the nation thrive,<br /> +Made way for all that strolling congregation,<br /> +Which throng'd in pious Charles's restoration.<br /> +The royal refugee our breed restores,<br /> +With foreign courtiers, and with foreign whores:<br /> +And carefully re-peopled us again,<br /> +Throughout his lazy, long, lascivious reign,<br /> +With such a blest and true-born English fry,<br /> +As much illustrates our nobility.<br /> +A gratitude which will so black appear,<br /> +As future ages must abhor to bear:<br /> +When they look back on all that crimson flood,<br /> +Which stream'd in Lindsey's, and Caernarvon's blood;<br /> +Bold Strafford, Cambridge, Capel, Lucas, Lisle,<br /> +Who crown'd in death his father's fun'ral pile.<br /> +The loss of whom, in order to supply<br /> +With true-born English nobility,<br /> +Six bastard dukes survive his luscious reign,<br /> +The labours of Italian Castlemain,<br /> +French Portsmouth, Tabby Scott, and Cambrian;<br /> +Besides the num'rous bright and virgin throng,<br /> +Whose female glories shade them from my song.<br /> +This offspring if our age they multiply,<br /> +May half the house with English peers supply:<br /> +There with true English pride they may contemn<br /> +Schomberg and Portland, new-made noblemen.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">French</span> cooks, Scotch pedlars, and Italian whores,</span><br /> +Were all made lords or lords' progenitors.<br /> +Beggars and bastards by this new creation<br /> +Much multiplied the peerage of the nation;<br /> +Who will be all, ere one short age runs o'er,<br /> +As true-born lords as those we had before.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Then</span> to recruit the commons he prepares,</span><br /> +And heal the latent breaches of the wars;<br /> +The pious purpose better to advance,<br /> +He invites the banish'd Protestants of France;<br /> +Hither for God's sake, and their own, they fled<br /> +Some for religion came, and some for bread:<br /> +Two hundred thousand pair of wooden shoes,<br /> +Who, God be thank'd, had nothing left to lose;<br /> +To heaven's great praise did for religion fly,<br /> +To make us starve our poor in charity.<br /> +In ev'ry port they plant their fruitful train,<br /> +To get a race of true-born Englishmen;<br /> +Whose children will, when riper years they see,<br /> +Be as ill-natured, and as proud as we;<br /> +Call themselves English, foreigners despise,<br /> +Be surly like us all, and just as wise.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Thus</span> from a mixture of all kinds began,</span><br /> +That heterogeneous thing, an Englishman:<br /> +In eager rapes, and furious lust begot,<br /> +Betwixt a painted Briton and a Scot:<br /> +Whose gend'ring offspring quickly learn'd to bow,<br /> +And yoke their heifers to the Roman plough;<br /> +From whence a mongrel half-bred race there came,<br /> +With neither name nor nation, speech or fame,<br /> +In whose hot veins new mixtures quickly ran,<br /> +Infused betwixt a Saxon and a Dane;<br /> +While their rank daughters, to their parents just,<br /> +Received all nations with promiscuous lust.<br /> +This nauseous brood directly did contain<br /> +The well-extracted blood of Englishmen.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Which</span> medley, canton'd in a heptarchy,</span><br /> +A rhapsody of nations to supply,<br /> +Among themselves maintain'd eternal wars,<br /> +And still the ladies loved the conquerors.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> Western Angles all the rest subdued,</span><br /> +A bloody nation, barbarous and rude;<br /> +Who by the tenure of the sword possess'd<br /> +One part of Britain, and subdued the rest:<br /> +And as great things denominate the small,<br /> +The conquering part gave title to the whole;<br /> +The Scot, Pict, Briton, Roman, Dane, submit,<br /> +And with the English Saxon all unite:<br /> +And these the mixture have so close pursued,<br /> +The very name and memory's subdued;<br /> +No Roman now, no Briton does remain;<br /> +Wales strove to separate, but strove in vain:<br /> +The silent nations undistinguish'd fall,<br /> +And Englishman's the common name for all.<br /> +Fate jumbled them together, God knows how;<br /> +Whate'er they were, they're true-born English now.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> wonder which remains is at our pride,</span><br /> +To value that which all wise men deride;<br /> +For Englishmen to boast of generation<br /> +Cancels their knowledge, and lampoons the nation,<br /> +A true-born Englishman's a contradiction,<br /> +In speech an irony, in fact a fiction:<br /> +A banter made to be a test of fools,<br /> +Which those that use it justly ridicules;<br /> +A metaphor intended to express,<br /> +A man a-kin to all the universe.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">For</span> as the Scots, as learned men have said,</span><br /> +Throughout the world their wand'ring seed have spread,<br /> +So open-handed England, 'tis believed,<br /> +Has all the gleanings of the world received.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Some</span> think of England, 'twas our Saviour meant,</span><br /> +The Gospel should to all the world be sent:<br /> +Since when the blessed sound did hither reach,<br /> +They to all nations might be said to preach.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">'Tis</span> well that virtue gives nobility,</span><br /> +Else God knows where had we our gentry,<br /> +Since scarce one family is left alive,<br /> +Which does not from some foreigner derive.<br /> +Of sixty thousand English gentlemen,<br /> +Whose names and arms in registers remain,<br /> +We challenge all our heralds to declare<br /> +Ten families which English Saxons are.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">France</span> justly boasts the ancient noble line</span><br /> +Of Bourbon, Montmorency, and Lorraine.<br /> +The Germans too, their house of Austria show,<br /> +And Holland, their invincible Nassau.<br /> +Lines which in heraldry were ancient grown,<br /> +Before the name of Englishman was known.<br /> +Even Scotland, too, her elder glory shows,<br /> +Her Gordons, Hamiltons, and her Monro's;<br /> +Douglas', Mackays, and Grahams, names well known,<br /> +Long before ancient England knew her own.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">But</span> England, modern to the last degree,</span><br /> +Borrows or makes her own nobility,<br /> +And yet she boldly boasts of pedigree;<br /> +Repines that foreigners are put upon her,<br /> +And talks of her antiquity and honour:<br /> +Her Sackvills, Savils, Cecils, Delamers,<br /> +Mohuns, Montagues, Duras, and Veeres,<br /> +Not one have English names, yet all are English peers.<br /> +Your Houblons, Papillons, and Lethuliers,<br /> +Pass now for true-born English knights and squires,<br /> +And make good senate-members, or lord-mayors.<br /> +Wealth, howsoever got, in England makes<br /> +Lords of mechanics, gentlemen of rakes.<br /> +Antiquity and birth are needless here;<br /> +'Tis impudence and money makes a peer.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Innumerable</span> city knights we know,</span><br /> +From Blue-coat Hospitals, and Bridewell flow.<br /> +Draymen and porters fill the city chair,<br /> +And foot-boys magisterial purple wear.<br /> +Fate has but very small distinction set<br /> +Betwixt the counter and the coronet.<br /> +Tarpaulin lords, pages of high renown,<br /> +Rise up by poor men's valour, not their own;<br /> +Great families of yesterday we show,<br /> +And lords, whose parents were the Lord knows who.<br /> +</p> + +<hr class="med" /> + +<h3><a name="PART_II" id="PART_II"></a>PART II.</h3> + +<p> +<span class="smcap">The</span> breed's described: now, Satire, if you can,<br /> +Their temper show, for manners make the man.<br /> +Fierce as the Briton, as the Roman brave,<br /> +And less inclined to conquer than to save;<br /> +Eager to fight, and lavish of their blood,<br /> +And equally of fear and forecast void.<br /> +The Pict has made them sour, the Dane morose,<br /> +False from the Scot, and from the Norman worse.<br /> +What honesty they have, the Saxon gave them,<br /> +And that, now they grow old, begins to leave them.<br /> +The climate makes them terrible and bold:<br /> +And English beef their courage does uphold:<br /> +No danger can their daring spirit dull,<br /> +Always provided when their belly's full.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">In</span> close intrigues, their faculty's but weak;</span><br /> +For, gen'rally, whate'er they know they speak.<br /> +And often their own councils undermine<br /> +By their infirmity, and not design.<br /> +From whence, the learned say, it does proceed,<br /> +That English treason never can succeed:<br /> +For they're so open-hearted, you may know<br /> +Their own most secret thoughts, and others too.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> lab'ring poor, in spite of double pay,</span><br /> +Are saucy, mutinous, and beggarly;<br /> +So lavish of their money and their time,<br /> +That want of forecast is the nation's crime.<br /> +Good drunken company is their delight;<br /> +And what they get by day they spend by night.<br /> +Dull thinking seldom does their heads engage,<br /> +But drink their youth away, and hurry on old age.<br /> +Empty of all good husbandry and sense;<br /> +And void of manners most when void of pence.<br /> +Their strong aversion to behaviour's such,<br /> +They always talk too little or too much.<br /> +So dull, they never take the pains to think;<br /> +And seldom are good natured but in drink.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">In</span> English ale their dear enjoyment lies,</span><br /> +For which they starve themselves and families.<br /> +An Englishman will fairly drink as much,<br /> +As will maintain two families of Dutch:<br /> +Subjecting all their labours to the pots;<br /> +The greatest artists are the greatest sots.<br /> +The country poor do by example live;<br /> +The gentry lead them, and the clergy drive;<br /> +What may we not from such examples hope?<br /> +The landlord is their god, the priest their pope;<br /> +A drunken clergy, and a swearing bench,<br /> +Has given the reformation such a drench,<br /> +As wise men think, there is some cause to doubt,<br /> +Will purge good manners and religion out.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Nor</span> do the poor alone their liquor prize,</span><br /> +The sages join in this great sacrifice;<br /> +The learned men who study Aristotle,<br /> +Correct him with an explanation bottle:<br /> +Praise Epicurus rather than Lysander,<br /> +And Aristippus more than Alexander;<br /> +The doctors too their Galen here resign,<br /> +And generally prescribe specific wine;<br /> +The graduate's study's grown an easy task,<br /> +While for the urinal they toss the flask;<br /> +The surgeon's art grows plainer every hour,<br /> +And wine's the balm which into wounds they pour.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Poets</span> long since Parnassus have forsaken,</span><br /> +And say the ancient bards were all mistaken.<br /> +Apollo's lately abdicate and fled,<br /> +And good king Bacchus reigneth in his stead:<br /> +He does the chaos of the head refine,<br /> +And atom thoughts jump into words by wine:<br /> +The inspiration's of a finer nature,<br /> +As wine must needs excel Parnassus water.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Statesmen</span> their weighty politics refine,</span><br /> +And soldiers raise their courages by wine.<br /> +Cecilia gives her choristers their choice,<br /> +And lets them all drink wine to clear the voice.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Some</span> think the clergy first found out the way,</span><br /> +And wine's the only spirit by which they pray.<br /> +But others, less profane than so, agree,<br /> +It clears the lungs, and helps the memory:<br /> +And, therefore, all of them divinely think,<br /> +Instead of study, 'tis as well to drink.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">And</span> here I would be very glad to know,</span><br /> +Whether our Asgilites may drink or no;<br /> +The enlightening fumes of wine would certainly<br /> +Assist them much when they begin to fly;<br /> +Or if a fiery chariot should appear,<br /> +Inflamed by wine, they'd have the less to fear.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Even</span> the gods themselves, as mortals say,</span><br /> +Were they on earth, would be as drunk as they:<br /> +Nectar would be no more celestial drink,<br /> +They'd all take wine, to teach them how to think.<br /> +But English drunkards, gods and men outdo,<br /> +Drink their estates away, and senses too.<br /> +Colon's in debt, and if his friend should fail<br /> +To help him out, must die at last in jail:<br /> +His wealthy uncle sent a hundred nobles,<br /> +To pay his trifles off, and rid him of his troubles:<br /> +But Colon, like a true-born Englishman,<br /> +Drunk all the money out in bright champaign,<br /> +And Colon does in custody remain.<br /> +Drunk'ness has been the darling of the realm,<br /> +E'er since a drunken pilot had the helm.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">In</span> their religion, they're so uneven,</span><br /> +That each man goes his own byway to heaven.<br /> +Tenacious of mistakes to that degree,<br /> +That ev'ry man pursues it sep'rately,<br /> +And fancies none can find the way but he:<br /> +So shy of one another they are grown,<br /> +As if they strove to get to heaven alone.<br /> +Rigid and zealous, positive and grave,<br /> +And ev'ry grace, but charity, they have;<br /> +This makes them so ill-natured and uncivil,<br /> +That all men think an Englishman the devil.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Surly</span> to strangers, froward to their friend,</span><br /> +Submit to love with a reluctant mind,<br /> +Resolved to be ungrateful and unkind.<br /> +If, by necessity, reduced to ask,<br /> +The giver has the difficultest task:<br /> +For what's bestow'd they awkwardly receive,<br /> +And always take less freely than they give;<br /> +The obligation is their highest grief,<br /> +They never love where they accept relief;<br /> +So sullen in their sorrows, that 'tis known<br /> +They'll rather die than their afflictions own;<br /> +And if relieved, it is too often true,<br /> +That they'll abuse their benefactors too;<br /> +For in distress their haughty stomach's such,<br /> +They hate to see themselves obliged too much;<br /> +Seldom contented, often in the wrong,<br /> +Hard to be pleased at all, and never long.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">If</span> your mistakes there ill opinion gain,</span><br /> +No merit can their favour re-obtain:<br /> +And if they're not vindictive in their fury,<br /> +'Tis their inconstant temper does secure ye:<br /> +Their brain's so cool, their passion seldom burns;<br /> +For all's condensed before the flame returns:<br /> +The fermentation's of so weak a matter,<br /> +The humid damps the flame, and runs it all to water;<br /> +So though the inclination may be strong,<br /> +They're pleased by fits, and never angry long:<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Then</span>, if good-nature show some slender proof,</span><br /> +They never think they have reward enough;<br /> +But, like our modern Quakers of the town,<br /> +Expect your manners, and return you none.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Friendship</span>, th' abstracted union of the mind,</span><br /> +Which all men seek, but very few can find;<br /> +Of all the nations in the universe,<br /> +None can talk on't more, or understand it less;<br /> +For if it does their property annoy,<br /> +Their property their friendship will destroy.<br /> +As you discourse them, you shall hear them tell<br /> +All things in which they think they do excel:<br /> +No panegyric needs their praise record,<br /> +An Englishman ne'er wants his own good word.<br /> +His first discourses gen'rally appear,<br /> +Prologued with his own wond'rous character:<br /> +When, to illustrate his own good name,<br /> +He never fails his neighbour to defame.<br /> +And yet he really designs no wrong,<br /> +His malice goes no further than his tongue.<br /> +But, pleased to tattle, he delights to rail,<br /> +To satisfy the letch'ry of a tale.<br /> +His own dear praises close the ample speech,<br /> +Tells you how wise he is, that is, how rich:<br /> +For wealth is wisdom; he that's rich is wise;<br /> +And all men learned poverty despise:<br /> +His generosity comes next, and then<br /> +Concludes, that he's a true-born Englishman;<br /> +And they, 'tis known, are generous and free,<br /> +Forgetting, and forgiving injury:<br /> +Which may be true, thus rightly understood,<br /> +Forgiving ill turns, and forgetting good.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Cheerful</span> in labour when they've undertook it,</span><br /> +But out of humour, when they're out of pocket.<br /> +But if their belly and their pocket's full,<br /> +They may be phlegmatic, but never dull:<br /> +And if a bottle does their brains refine,<br /> +It makes their wit as sparkling as their wine.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">As</span> for the general vices which we find,</span><br /> +They're guilty of in common with mankind,<br /> +Satire forbear, and silently endure,<br /> +We must conceal the crimes we cannot cure;<br /> +Nor shall my verse the brighter sex defame,<br /> +For English beauty will preserve her name;<br /> +Beyond dispute agreeable and fair,<br /> +And modester than other nations are;<br /> +For where the vice prevails, the great temptation<br /> +Is want of money more than inclination;<br /> +In general this only is allow'd,<br /> +They're something noisy, and a little proud.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">An</span> Englishman is gentlest in command,</span><br /> +Obedience is a stranger in the land:<br /> +Hardly subjected to the magistrate;<br /> +For Englishmen do all subjection hate.<br /> +Humblest when rich, but peevish when they're poor,<br /> +And think whate'er they have, they merit more.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> meanest English plowman studies law,</span><br /> +And keeps thereby the magistrates in awe,<br /> +Will boldly tell them what they ought to do,<br /> +And sometimes punish their omissions too.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Their</span> liberty and property's so dear,</span><br /> +They scorn their laws or governors to fear;<br /> +So bugbear'd with the name of slavery,<br /> +They can't submit to their own liberty.<br /> +Restraint from ill is freedom to the wise!<br /> +But Englishmen do all restraint despise.<br /> +Slaves to the liquor, drudges to the pots;<br /> +The mob are statesmen, and their statesmen sots.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Their</span> governors, they count such dang'rous things,</span><br /> +That 'tis their custom to affront their kings:<br /> +So jealous of the power their kings possess'd,<br /> +They suffer neither power nor kings to rest.<br /> +The bad with force they eagerly subdue;<br /> +The good with constant clamours they pursue,<br /> +And did King Jesus reign, they'd murmur too.<br /> +A discontented nation, and by far<br /> +Harder to rule in times of peace than war:<br /> +Easily set together by the ears,<br /> +And full of causeless jealousies and fears:<br /> +Apt to revolt, and willing to rebel,<br /> +And never are contented when they're well.<br /> +No government could ever please them long,<br /> +Could tie their hands, or rectify their tongue.<br /> +In this, to ancient Israel well compared,<br /> +Eternal murmurs are among them heard.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">It</span> was but lately, that they were oppress'd,</span><br /> +Their rights invaded, and their laws suppress'd:<br /> +When nicely tender of their liberty,<br /> +Lord! what a noise they made of slavery.<br /> +In daily tumults show'd their discontent,<br /> +Lampoon'd their king, and mock'd his government.<br /> +And if in arms they did not first appear,<br /> +'Twas want of force, and not for want of fear.<br /> +In humbler tone than English used to do,<br /> +At foreign hands for foreign aid they sue.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">William</span>, the great successor of Nassau,</span><br /> +Their prayers heard, and their oppressions saw;<br /> +He saw and saved them: God and him they praised<br /> +To this their thanks, to that their trophies raised.<br /> +But glutted with their own felicities,<br /> +They soon their new deliverer despise;<br /> +Say all their prayers back, their joy disown,<br /> +Unsing their thanks, and pull their trophies down;<br /> +Their harps of praise are on the willows hung;<br /> +For Englishmen are ne'er contented long.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> reverend clergy too, and who'd ha' thought</span><br /> +That they who had such non-resistance taught,<br /> +Should e'er to arms against their prince be brought<br /> +Who up to heav'n did regal power advance;<br /> +Subjecting English laws to modes of France<br /> +Twisting religion so with loyalty,<br /> +As one could never live, and t'other die;<br /> +And yet no sooner did their prince design<br /> +Their glebes and perquisites to undermine,<br /> +But all their passive doctrines laid aside,<br /> +The clergy their own principles denied;<br /> +Unpreach'd their non-resisting cant, and pray'd<br /> +To heav'n for help, and to the Dutch for aid;<br /> +The church chimed all her doctrines back again,<br /> +And pulpit-champions did the cause maintain;<br /> +Flew in the face of all their former zeal,<br /> +And non-resistance did at once repeal.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> Rabbi's say it would be too prolix,</span><br /> +To tie religion up to politics,<br /> +The churches' safety is <i>suprema lex</i>:<br /> +And so by a new figure of their own,<br /> +Their former doctrines all at once disown;<br /> +As laws <i>post facto</i> in the parliament,<br /> +In urgent cases have attained assent;<br /> +But are as dangerous precedents laid by,<br /> +Made lawful only by necessity.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> rev'rend fathers then in arms appear,</span><br /> +And men of God became the men of war:<br /> +The nation, fired by them, to arms apply,<br /> +Assault their antichristian monarchy;<br /> +To their due channel all our laws restore,<br /> +And made things what they should have been before.<br /> +But when they came to fill the vacant throne,<br /> +And the pale priests look'd back on what they'd done,<br /> +How England liberty began to thrive,<br /> +And Church of England loyality outlive;<br /> +How all their persecuting days were done,<br /> +And their deliv'rer placed upon the throne:<br /> +The priests, as priests are wont to do, turn'd tail,<br /> +They're Englishmen, and nature will prevail;<br /> +Now they deplore their ruins they have made,<br /> +And murmur for the master they betray'd;<br /> +Excuse those crimes they could not make him mend,<br /> +And suffer for the cause they can't defend;<br /> +Pretend they'd not have carried things so high,<br /> +And proto-martyrs make for popery.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Had</span> the prince done as they design'd the thing,</span><br /> +High set the clergy up to rule the king:<br /> +Taken a donative for coming hither,<br /> +And so have left their king and them together;<br /> +We had, say they, been now a happy nation;<br /> +No doubt we had seen a blessed reformation:<br /> +For wise men say 'tis as dangerous a thing,<br /> +A ruling priesthood, as a priest-rid king;<br /> +And of all plagues with which mankind are curst,<br /> +Ecclesiastic tyranny's the worst.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">If</span> all our former grievances were feign'd,</span><br /> +King James has been abused, and we trepann'd;<br /> +Bugbear'd with popery and power despotic,<br /> +Tyrannic government, and leagues exotic;<br /> +The revolution's a fanatic plot,<br /> +William's a tyrant, King James was not;<br /> +A factious army and a poison'd nation,<br /> +Unjustly forced King James's abdication.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">But</span> if he did the subjects' rights invade,</span><br /> +Then he was punish'd only, not betrayed;<br /> +And punishing of kings is no such crime,<br /> +But Englishmen have done it many a time.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">When</span> kings the sword of justice first lay down,</span><br /> +They are no kings, though they possess the crown.<br /> +Titles are shadows, crowns are empty things,<br /> +The good of subjects is the end of kings;<br /> +To guide in war, and to protect in peace,<br /> +Where tyrants once commence the kings do cease;<br /> +For arbitrary power's so strange a thing,<br /> +It makes the tyrant and unmakes the king:<br /> +If kings by foreign priests and armies reign,<br /> +And lawless power against their oaths maintain,<br /> +Then subjects must have reason to complain:<br /> +If oaths must bind us when our kings do ill,<br /> +To call in foreign aid is to rebel:<br /> +By force to circumscribe our lawful prince,<br /> +Is wilful treason in the largest sense:<br /> +And they who once rebel, must certainly<br /> +Their God, and king, and former oaths defy;<br /> +If ye allow no mal-administration<br /> +Could cancel the allegiance of the nation,<br /> +Let all our learned sons of Levi try,<br /> +This ecclesiastic riddle to untie;<br /> +How they could make a step to call the prince,<br /> +And yet pretend the oath and innocence.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">By</span> th' first address they made beyond the seas,</span><br /> +They're perjur'd in the most intense degrees;<br /> +And without scruple for the time to come,<br /> +May swear to all the kings in Christendom:<br /> +Nay, truly did our kings consider all,<br /> +They'd never let the clergy swear at all,<br /> +Their politic allegiance they'd refuse,<br /> +For whores and priests do never want excuse.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">But</span> if the mutual contract was dissolved,</span><br /> +The doubt's explain'd, the difficulty solved;<br /> +That kings, when they descend to tyranny,<br /> +Dissolve the bond, and leave the subject free;<br /> +The government's ungirt when justice dies,<br /> +And constitutions are nonentities.<br /> +The nation's all a mob, there's no such thing,<br /> +As lords, or commons, parliament, or king;<br /> +A great promiscuous crowd the Hydra lies,<br /> +Till laws revive and mutual contract ties;<br /> +A chaos free to choose for their own share,<br /> +What case of government they please to wear;<br /> +If to a king they do the reins commit,<br /> +All men are bound in conscience to submit;<br /> +But then the king must by his oath assent,<br /> +To <i>Postulata's</i> of the government;<br /> +Which if he breaks he cuts off the entail,<br /> +And power retreats to its original.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">This</span> doctrine has the sanction of assent</span><br /> +From nature's universal Parliament:<br /> +The voice of nations, and the course of things,<br /> +Allow that laws superior are to kings;<br /> +None but delinquents would have justice cease,<br /> +Knaves rail at laws, as soldiers rail at peace:<br /> +For justice is the end of government,<br /> +As reason is the test of argument:<br /> +No man was ever yet so void of sense,<br /> +As to debate the right of self-defence;<br /> +A principle so grafted in the mind,<br /> +With nature born, and does like nature bind;<br /> +Twisted with reason, and with nature too,<br /> +As neither one nor t'other can undo.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Nor</span> can this right be less when national,</span><br /> +Reason which governs one should govern all;<br /> +Whate'er the dialect of courts may tell,<br /> +He that his right demands can ne'er rebel;<br /> +Which right, if 'tis by governors denied,<br /> +May be procured by force or foreign aid;<br /> +For tyranny's a nation's term of grief,<br /> +As folks cry fire to hasten in relief;<br /> +And when the hated word is heard about,<br /> +All men should come to help the people out.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Thus</span> England groan'd, Britannia's voice was heard,</span><br /> +And great Nassau to rescue her appear'd:<br /> +Call'd by the universal voice of fate,<br /> +God and the people's legal magistrate:<br /> +<a name="Ye_heavens" id="Ye_heavens"></a>Ye heavens regard! Almighty Jove look down,<br /> +And view thy injured monarch on the throne;<br /> +On their ungrateful heads due vengeance take<br /> +Who sought his aid, and then his part forsake:<br /> +Witness, ye powers! it was our call alone,<br /> +Which now our pride makes us ashamed to own;<br /> +Britannia's troubles fetch'd him from afar,<br /> +To court the dreadful casualties of war;<br /> +But where requital never can be made,<br /> +Acknowledgment's a tribute seldom paid.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">He</span> dwelt in bright Maria's circling arms,</span><br /> +Defended by the magic of her charms,<br /> +From foreign fears and from domestic harms;<br /> +Ambition found no fuel for her fire,<br /> +He had what God could give or man desire,<br /> +Till pity roused him from his soft repose,<br /> +His life to unseen hazards to expose;<br /> +Till pity moved him in our cause to appear,<br /> +Pity! that word which now we hate to hear;<br /> +But English gratitude is always such,<br /> +To hate the hand that does oblige too much.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Britannia's</span> cries gave birth to his intent,</span><br /> +And hardly gain'd his unforeseen assent;<br /> +His boding thoughts foretold him he should find<br /> +The people fickle, selfish, and unkind;<br /> +Which thought did to his royal heart appear<br /> +More dreadful than the dangers of the war;<br /> +For nothing grates a generous mind so soon,<br /> +As base returns for hearty service done.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Satire</span>, be silent! awfully prepare</span><br /> +Britannia's song, and William's praise to hear;<br /> +Stand by, and let her cheerfully rehearse<br /> +Her grateful vows in her immortal verse.<br /> +Loud fame's eternal trumpet let her sound,<br /> +Listen, ye distant poles, and endless round,<br /> +May the strong blast the welcome news convey,<br /> +As far as sound can reach or spirit fly!<br /> +To neighb'ring worlds, if such there be, relate<br /> +Our heroes fame for theirs to imitate;<br /> +To distant worlds of spirits let her rehearse,<br /> +For spirits without the helps of voice converse:<br /> +May angels hear the gladsome news on high,<br /> +Mix'd with their everlasting symphony;<br /> +And hell itself stand in surprise to know,<br /> +Whether it be the fatal blast or no.<br /> +</p> + +<hr class="med" /> + +<h3><a name="BRITANNIA" id="BRITANNIA"></a>BRITANNIA.</h3> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> fame of virtue 'tis for which I sound,</span><br /> +And heroes with immortal triumphs crown'd;<br /> +Fame built on solid virtue swifter flies,<br /> +Than morning light can spread the eastern skies:<br /> +The gath'ring air returns the doubling sound;<br /> +And loud repeating thunders force it round;<br /> +Echoes return from caverns of the deep,<br /> +Old Chaos dreams on't in eternal sleep:<br /> +Time hands it forward to its latest urn,<br /> +From whence it never, never shall return:<br /> +Nothing is heard so far, or lasts so long,<br /> +'Tis heard by ev'ry ear, and spoke by every tongue.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">My</span> hero, with the sails of honour furl'd,</span><br /> +Rises like the great genius of the world;<br /> +By fate and fame wisely prepared to be<br /> +The soul of war and life of victory;<br /> +He spreads the wings of virtue on the throne,<br /> +And ev'ry wind of glory fans them on;<br /> +Immortal trophies dwell upon his brow,<br /> +Fresh as the garlands he has won but now.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">By</span> different steps the high ascent he gains,</span><br /> +And differently that high ascent maintains:<br /> +Princes for pride and lust of rule make war,<br /> +And struggle for the name of conqueror;<br /> +Some fight for fame, and some for victory,<br /> +He fights to save, and conquers to set free.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Then</span> seek no phrase his titles to conceal,</span><br /> +And hide with words what actions must reveal;<br /> +No parallel from Hebrew stories take,<br /> +Of godlike kings my similies to make;<br /> +No borrowed names conceal my living theme,<br /> +But names and things directly I proclaim;<br /> +His honest merit does his glory raise,<br /> +Whom that exalts let no man fear to praise;<br /> +Of such a subject no man need be shy,<br /> +Virtue's above the reach of flattery;<br /> +He needs no character but his own fame,<br /> +Nor any flattering titles but his own name.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">William's</span> the name that's spoke by every tongue,</span><br /> +William's the darling subject of my song;<br /> +Listen, ye virgins, to the charming sound,<br /> +And in eternal dances hand it round;<br /> +Your early offerings to this altar bring,<br /> +Make him at once a lover and a king;<br /> +May he submit to none but to your arms,<br /> +Nor ever be subdued, but by your charms;<br /> +May your soft thoughts for him be all sublime,<br /> +And ev'ry tender vow be made for him;<br /> +May he be first in ev'ry morning thought,<br /> +And heav'n ne'er hear a prayer where he's left out;<br /> +May every omen, every boding dream,<br /> +Be fortunate by mentioning his name;<br /> +May this one charm infernal powers affright,<br /> +And guard you from the terror of the night;<br /> +May ev'ry cheerful glass as it goes down<br /> +To William's health, be cordials to your own:<br /> +Let ev'ry song be chorust with his name,<br /> +And music pay her tribute to his fame;<br /> +Let ev'ry poet tune his artful verse,<br /> +And in immortal strains his deeds rehearse:<br /> +And may Apollo never more inspire<br /> +The disobedient bard with his seraphic fire<br /> +May all my sons their grateful homage pay,<br /> +His praises sing, and for his safety pray.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Satire</span>, return to our unthankful isle,</span><br /> +Secured by heaven's regards, and William's toil:<br /> +To both ungrateful, and to both untrue,<br /> +Rebels to God, and to good nature too.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">If</span> e'er this nation be distress'd again,</span><br /> +To whomsoe'er they cry, they'll cry in vain;<br /> +To heav'n they cannot have the face to look,<br /> +Or, if they should, it would but heav'n provoke;<br /> +To hope for help from man would be too much,<br /> +Mankind would always tell 'em of the Dutch:<br /> +How they came here our freedoms to maintain,<br /> +Were paid, and cursed, and hurried home again;<br /> +How by their aid we first dissolved our fears,<br /> +And then our helpers damn'd for foreigners:<br /> +'Tis not our English temper to do better,<br /> +For Englishmen think ev'ry one their debtor.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">'Tis</span> worth observing, that we ne'er complain'd</span><br /> +Of foreigners, nor of the wealth we gain'd,<br /> +Till all their services were at an end:<br /> +Wise men affirm it is the English way,<br /> +Never to grumble till they come to pay;<br /> +And then they always think, their temper's such,<br /> +The work too little, and the pay too much.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">As</span> frighted patients, when they want a cure,</span><br /> +Bid any price, and any pain endure:<br /> +But when the doctor's remedies appear,<br /> +The cure's too easy, and the price too dear:<br /> +Great Portland near was banter'd when he strove,<br /> +For us his master's kindest thoughts to move:<br /> +We ne'er lampoon'd his conduct, when employ'd<br /> +King James's secret councils to divide:<br /> +Then we caress'd him as the only man,<br /> +Who could the doubtful oracle explain;<br /> +The only Hushai, able to repel<br /> +The dark designs of our Achitophel:<br /> +Compared his master's courage to his sense,<br /> +The ablest statesman, and the bravest prince;<br /> +On his wise conduct we depended much,<br /> +And liked him ne'er the worse for being Dutch:<br /> +Nor was he valued more than he deserved,<br /> +Freely he ventured, faithfully he served;<br /> +In all King William's dangers he has shared,<br /> +In England's quarrels always he appear'd:<br /> +The revolution first, and then the Boyne,<br /> +In both, his counsels and his conduct shine;<br /> +His martial valour Flanders will confess,<br /> +And France regrets his managing the peace;<br /> +Faithful to England's interest and her king,<br /> +The greatest reason of our murmuring:<br /> +Ten years in English service he appear'd,<br /> +And gain'd his master's and the world's regard;<br /> +But 'tis not England's custom to reward,<br /> +The wars are over, England needs him not;<br /> +Now he's a Dutchman, and the Lord knows what.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Schonbergh</span>, the ablest soldier of his age,</span><br /> +With great Nassau did in our cause engage;<br /> +Both join'd for England's rescue and defence,<br /> +The greatest captain and the greatest prince;<br /> +With what applause his stories did we tell,<br /> +Stories which Europe's volumes largely swell!<br /> +We counted him an army in our aid,<br /> +Where he commanded, no man was afraid;<br /> +His actions with a constant conquest shine,<br /> +From Villa Vitiosa to the Rhine;<br /> +France, Flanders, Germany, his fame confess,<br /> +And all the world was fond of him but us:<br /> +Our turn first served, we grudged him the command,<br /> +Witness the grateful temper of the land.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"><span class="smcap">We</span> blame the King, that he relies too much,</span><br /> +On Strangers, Germans, Hugonots, and Dutch;<br /> +And seldom does his great affairs of state,<br /> +To English counsellors communicate:<br /> +The fact might very well be answer'd thus:<br /> +He had so often been betray'd by us,<br /> +He must have been a madman to rely,<br /> +On English gentlemen's fidelity;<br /> +For, laying other argument aside:<br /> +This thought might mortify our English pride;<br /> +That foreigners have faithfully obey'd him,<br /> +And none but Englishmen have e'er betray'd him:<br /> +They have our ships and merchants bought and sold,<br /> +And barter'd English blood for foreign gold;<br /> +First to the French they sold our Turkey fleet,<br /> +And injured Talmarsh next at Cameret;<br /> +The king himself is shelter'd from their snares,<br /> +Not by his merits, but the crown he wears;<br /> +Experience tells us 'tis the English way,<br /> +Their benefactors always to betray.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"><span class="smcap">And</span>, lest examples should be too remote,</span><br /> +A modern magistrate of famous note,<br /> +Shall give you his own history by rote;<br /> +I'll make it out, deny it he that can,<br /> +His worship is a true-born Englishman;<br /> +By all the latitude that empty word,<br /> +By modern acceptation's understood:<br /> +The parish books his great descent record,<br /> +And now he hopes ere long to be a lord;<br /> +And truly, as things go, it would be pity,<br /> +But such as he bore office in the city;<br /> +While robb'ry for burnt-offering he brings,<br /> +And gives to God what he has stole from kings;<br /> +Great monuments of charity he raises,<br /> +And good St. Magnus whistles out his praises;<br /> +To city jails he grants a jubilee,<br /> +And hires huzza's from his own mobile.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Lately</span> he wore the golden chain and gown,</span><br /> +With which equipp'd he thus harangued the town.<br /> +</p> + + +<hr class="med" /> + +<h3><a name="SPEECH" id="SPEECH"></a>HIS FINE SPEECH, &c.</h3> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">With</span> clouted iron shoes, and sheep-skin breeches,</span><br /> +More rags than manners, and more dirt than riches,<br /> +From driving cows and calves to Leyton market,<br /> +While of my greatness there appear'd no spark yet,<br /> +Behold I come to let you see the pride,<br /> +With which exalted beggars always ride.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1.5em;"><span class="smcap">Born</span> to the needful labours of the plough,</span><br /> +The cart-whip graced me, as the chain does now.<br /> +Nature and fate in doubt what course to take,<br /> +Whether I should a lord or plough-boy make;<br /> +Kindly at last resolv'd they would promote me,<br /> +And first a knave, and then a knight they vote me.<br /> +What fate appointed, nature did prepare,<br /> +And furnish'd me with an exceeding care,<br /> +To fit me for what they design'd to have me;<br /> +And every gift but honesty they gave me.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">And</span> thus equipp'd, to this proud town I came,</span><br /> +In quest of bread, and not in quest of fame.<br /> +Blind to my future fate, an humble boy,<br /> +Free from the guilt and glory I enjoy.<br /> +The hopes which my ambition entertain'd,<br /> +Where in the name of foot-boy, all contain'd.<br /> +The greatest heights from small beginnings rise;<br /> +The gods were great on earth, before they reach'd the skies.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Backwell</span>, the generous temper of whose mind,</span><br /> +Was always to be bountiful inclin'd:<br /> +Whether by his ill fate or fancy led,<br /> +First took me up, and furnish'd me with bread:<br /> +The little services he put me to,<br /> +Seem'd labours, rather than were truly so.<br /> +But always my advancement he design'd;<br /> +For 'twas his very nature to be kind:<br /> +Large was his soul, his temper ever free;<br /> +The best of masters and of men to me:<br /> +And I who was before decreed by fate,<br /> +To be made infamous as well as great,<br /> +With an obsequious diligence obey'd him,<br /> +Till trusted with his all, and then betray'd him.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">All</span> his past kindnesses I trampled on,</span><br /> +Ruin'd his fortunes to erect my own:<br /> +So vipers in the bosom bred begin,<br /> +To hiss at that hand first which took them in;<br /> +With eager treach'ry I his fall pursu'd,<br /> +And my first trophies were ingratitude.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Ingratitude's</span> the worst of human guilt,</span><br /> +The basest action mankind can commit;<br /> +Which, like the sin against the Holy Ghost,<br /> +Has least of honour, and of guilt the most;<br /> +Distinguished from all other crimes by this,<br /> +That 'tis a crime which no man will confess;<br /> +That sin alone, which should not be forgiv'n<br /> +On earth, altho' perhaps it may in heaven.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Thus</span> my first benefactor I o'erthrew;</span><br /> +And how shou'd I be to a second true?<br /> +The public trust came next into my care,<br /> +And I to use them scurvily prepare:<br /> +My needy sov'reign lord I play'd upon,<br /> +And lent him many a thousand of his own;<br /> +For which great interest I took care to charge,<br /> +And so my ill-got wealth became so large.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">My</span> predecessor Judas was a fool,</span><br /> +Fitter to have been whipt and sent to school,<br /> +Than sell a Saviour: had I been at hand,<br /> +His Master had not been so cheap trepann'd;<br /> +I would have made the eager Jews have found,<br /> +For thirty pieces, thirty thousand pound.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">My</span> cousin Ziba, of immortal fame,</span><br /> +(Ziba and I shall never want a name:)<br /> +First-born of treason, nobly did advance<br /> +His Master's fall, for his inheritance:<br /> +By whose keen arts old David first began<br /> +To break his sacred oath to Jonathan:<br /> +The good old king 'tis thought was very loth<br /> +To break his word, and therefore broke his oath.<br /> +Ziba's a traitor of some quality,<br /> +Yet Ziba might have been inform'd by me:<br /> +Had I been there, he ne'er had been content<br /> +With half th' estate, nor half the government.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">In</span> our late revolution 'twas thought strange,</span><br /> +That I of all mankind should like the change,<br /> +But they who wonder'd at it never knew,<br /> +That in it I did my old game pursue:<br /> +Nor had they heard of twenty thousand pound,<br /> +Which ne'er was lost, yet never could be found.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Thus</span> all things in their turn to sale I bring,</span><br /> +God and my master first, and then the king;<br /> +Till by successful villanies made bold,<br /> +I thought to turn the nation into gold;<br /> +And so to forgery my hand I bent,<br /> +Not doubting I could gull the Government;<br /> +But there was ruffl'd by the Parliament.<br /> +And if I 'scaped th' unhappy tree to climb,<br /> +'Twas want of law, and not for want of crime;<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">But</span> my old friend,<a name="FNanchor_A_1" id="FNanchor_A_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_1" class="fnanchor">[A]</a> who printed in my face</span><br /> +A needful competence of English brass;<br /> +Having more business yet for me to do,<br /> +And loth to lose his trusty servant so,<br /> +Managed the matter with such art and skill,<br /> +As sav'd his hero, and threw out the Bill.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">And</span> now I'm grac'd with unexpected honours,</span><br /> +For which I'll certainly abuse the donors:<br /> +Knighted, and made a tribune of the people,<br /> +Whose laws and properties I'm like to keep well:<br /> +The custos rotulorum of the city,<br /> +And captain of the guards of their banditti.<br /> +Surrounded by my catchpoles, I declare<br /> +Against the needy debtor open war.<br /> +I hang poor thieves for stealing of your pelf,<br /> +And suffer none to rob you, but myself.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">The</span> king commanded me to help reform ye,</span><br /> +And how I'll do't, Miss —— shall inform ye.<br /> +I keep the best seraglio in the nation,<br /> +And hope in time to bring it into fashion;<br /> +No brimstone whore need fear the lash from me,<br /> +That part I'll leave to Brother Jefferey:<br /> +Our gallants need not go abroad to Rome,<br /> +I'll keep a whoring jubilee at home;<br /> +Whoring's the darling of my inclination;<br /> +An't I a magistrate for reformation?<br /> +For this my praise is sung by ev'ry bard,<br /> +For which Bridewell wou'd be a just reward.<br /> +In print my panegyric fills the street,<br /> +And hired gaol-birds their huzzas repeat;<br /> +Some charities contriv'd to make a show,<br /> +Have taught the needy rabble to do so;<br /> +Whose empty noise is a mechanic fame,<br /> +Since for Sir Beelzebub they'd do the same.<br /> +</p> + + +<hr class="med" /> + +<h3><a name="CONCLUSION" id="CONCLUSION"></a>THE CONCLUSION.</h3> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Then</span> let us boast of ancestors no more,</span><br /> +Or deeds of heroes done in days of yore,<br /> +In latent records of the ages past,<br /> +Behind the rear of time, in long oblivion plac'd;<br /> +For if our virtues must in lines descend,<br /> +The merit with the families would end,<br /> +And intermixtures would most fatal grow;<br /> +For vice would be hereditary too;<br /> +The tainted blood would of necessity,<br /> +Involuntary wickedness convey.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Vice</span>, like ill-nature, for an age or two,</span><br /> +May seem a generation to pursue;<br /> +But virtue seldom does regard the breed,<br /> +Fools do the wise, and wise men fools succeed.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">What</span> is't to us, what ancestors we had?</span><br /> +If good, what better? or what worse, if bad?<br /> +Examples are for imitation set,<br /> +Yet all men follow virtue with regret.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><span class="smcap">Could</span> but our ancestors retrieve their fate,</span><br /> +And see their offspring thus degenerate;<br /> +How we contend for birth and names unknown,<br /> +And build on their past actions, not our own;<br /> +They'd cancel records, and their tombs deface,<br /> +And openly disown the vile degenerate race:<br /> +For fame of families is all a cheat,<br /> +It's personal virtue only makes us great.<br /> +</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<h3>THE END.</h3> + + + +<hr /> +<h2>FOOTNOTES</h2> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_A_1" id="Footnote_A_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_1"><span class="label">[A]</span></a> The Devil.</p></div> + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The True-Born Englishman, by Daniel Defoe + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN *** + +***** This file should be named 30159-h.htm or 30159-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/0/1/5/30159/ + +Produced by Steven Gibbs, Linda Cantoni, and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The True-Born Englishman + A Satire + +Author: Daniel Defoe + +Release Date: October 2, 2009 [EBook #30159] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN *** + + + + +Produced by Steven Gibbs, Linda Cantoni, and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + +[Transcriber's Note: This satire in verse by Daniel Defoe (c. +1659-1731) was first published in 1701 under the title, _The True-Born +Englishman. A Satyr_, and went through numerous editions in Defoe's +lifetime. This e-book was prepared from _The Novels and Miscellaneous +Works of Daniel De Foe_, Volume 5 (London: Henry G. Bohn, 1855), in +which the spelling, punctuation, and capitalization have apparently +been modernized. Obvious printer errors have been corrected. A table +of contents has been added for the reader's convenience.] + + + + +THE + +TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN: + +A + +SATIRE. + + +Statuimus pacem, et securitatem et concordiam judicum et justiciam +inter Anglos et Normannos, Francos et Britanes, Walliae, et Cornubiae, +Pictos et Scotos, Albaniae, similiter inter Francos et insulanos +provincias et patrias, quae pertinent ad coronam nostram, et inter +omnes nobis subjectos firmiter et inviolabiliter observare. + +Charta Regis Gullielmi Conquisitoris de Pacis Publica, cap. i. + + + + +CONTENTS + + +AN EXPLANATORY PREFACE. + +PREFACE. + +THE INTRODUCTION. + +THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN. + +PART I. + +PART II. + +BRITANNIA. + +HIS FINE SPEECH, &c. + +THE CONCLUSION. + + + + +AN + +EXPLANATORY PREFACE. + + +It is not that I see any reason to alter my opinion in any thing I +have writ, which occasions this epistle; but I find it necessary for +the satisfaction of some persons of honour, as well as wit, to pass a +short explication upon it; and tell the world what I mean, or rather, +what I do not mean, in some things wherein I find I am liable to be +misunderstood. + +I confess myself something surpris'd to hear that I am taxed with +bewraying my own nest, and abusing our nation, by discovering the +meanness of our original, in order to make the English contemptible +abroad and at home; in which, I think, they are mistaken: for why +should not our neighbours be as good as we to derive from? And I must +add, that had we been an unmix'd nation, I am of opinion it had been +to our disadvantage: for to go no farther, we have three nations about +us as clear from mixtures of blood as any in the world, and I know not +which of them I could wish ourselves to be like; I mean the Scots, the +Welsh, and the Irish; and if I were to write a reverse to the Satire, +I would examine all the nations of Europe, and prove, that those +nations which are most mix'd, are the best, and have least of +barbarism and brutality among them; and abundance of reasons might be +given for it, too long to bring into a Preface. + +But I give this hint, to let the world know, that I am far from +thinking, 'tis a Satire upon the English nation, to tell them, they +are derived from all the nations under heaven; that is, from several +nations. Nor is it meant to undervalue the original of the English, +for we see no reason to like them worse, being the relicts of Romans, +Danes, Saxons and Normans, than we should have done if they had +remain'd Britons, that is, than if they had been all Welshmen. + +But the intent of the Satire is pointed at the vanity of those who +talk of their antiquity, and value themselves upon their pedigree, +their ancient families, and being true-born; whereas 'tis impossible +we should be true-born: and if we could, should have lost by the +bargain. + +These sort of people, who call themselves true-born, and tell long +stories of their families, and like a nobleman of Venice, think a +foreigner ought not to walk on the same side of the street with them, +are own'd to be meant in this Satire. What they would infer from their +long original, I know not, nor is it easy to make out whether they are +the better or the worse for their ancestors: our English nation may +value themselves for their wit, wealth and courage, and I believe few +nations will dispute it with them; but for long originals, and ancient +true-born families of English, I would advise them to wave the +discourse. A true Englishman is one that deserves a character, and I +have nowhere lessened him, that I know of; but as for a true-born +Englishman, I confess I do not understand him. + +From hence I only infer, that an Englishman, of all men, ought not to +despise foreigners as such, and I think the inference is just, since +what they are to-day, we were yesterday, and to-morrow they will be +like us. If foreigners misbehave in their several stations and +employments, I have nothing to do with that; the laws are open to +punish them equally with natives, and let them have no favour. + +But when I see the town full of lampoons and invectives against +Dutchmen, only because they are foreigners, and the king reproached +and insulted by insolent pedants, and ballad-making poets, for +employing foreigners, and for being a foreigner himself, I confess +myself moved by it to remind our nation of their own original, thereby +to let them see what a banter is put upon ourselves in it; since +speaking of Englishmen _ab origine_, we are really all foreigners +ourselves. + +I could go on to prove it is also impolitic in us to discourage +foreigners; since it is easy to make it appear that the multitudes of +foreign nations who have taken sanctuary here, have been the greatest +additions to the wealth and strength of the nation; the essential +whereof is the number of its inhabitants; nor would this nation ever +have arrived to the degree of wealth and glory it now boasts of, if +the addition of foreign nations, both as to manufactures and arms, +had not been helpful to it. This is so plain, that he who is ignorant +of it, is too dull to be talked with. + +The Satire therefore I must allow to be just, till I am otherwise +convinced; because nothing can be more ridiculous than to hear our +people boast of that antiquity, which if it had been true, would have +left us in so much worse a condition than we are in now: whereas we +ought rather to boast among our neighbours, that we are part of +themselves, of the same original as they, but bettered by our climate, +and like our language and manufactures, derived from them, and +improved by us to a perfection greater than they can pretend to. + +This we might have valued ourselves upon without vanity; but to disown +our descent from them, talk big of our ancient families, and long +originals, and stand at a distance from foreigners, like the +enthusiast in religion, with a Stand off, I am more holy than thou: +this is a thing so ridiculous, in a nation derived from foreigners, as +we are, that I could not but attack them as I have done. + +And whereas I am threatened to be called to a public account for this +freedom; and the publisher of this has been newspapered into gaol +already for it; tho' I see nothing in it for which the government can +be displeased; yet if at the same time those people who with an +unlimited arrogance in print, every day affront the king, prescribe +the parliament, and lampoon the government, may be either punished or +restrained, I am content to stand and fall by the public justice of my +native country, which I am not sensible I have anywhere injured. + +Nor would I be misunderstood concerning the clergy; with whom, if I +have taken any license more than becomes a Satire, I question not but +those gentlemen, who are men of letters, are also men of so much +candor, as to allow me a loose at the crimes of the guilty, without +thinking the whole profession lashed who are innocent. I profess to +have very mean thoughts of those gentlemen who have deserted their own +principles, and exposed even their morals as well as loyality; but not +at all to think it affects any but such as are concerned in the fact. + +Nor would I be misrepresented as to the ingratitude of the English to +the king and his friends; as if I meant the English as a nation, are +so. The contrary is so apparent, that I would hope it should not be +suggested of me: and, therefore when I have brought in Britannia +speaking of the king, I suppose her to be the representative or mouth +of the nation, as a body. But if I say we are full of such who daily +affront the king, and abuse his friends; who print scurrilous +pamphlets, virulent lampoons, and reproachful public banters, against +both the king's person and his government; I say nothing but what is +too true; and that the Satire is directed at such, I freely own; and +cannot say, but I should think it very hard to be censured for this +Satire, while such remain unquestioned and tacitly approved. That I +can mean none but such, is plain from these few lines, page 453. +[Transcriber's Note: This reference is to a page number in the 1855 +reprint edition.] + + Ye heavens regard! Almighty Jove, look down, + And view thy injured monarch on the throne. + On their ungrateful heads due vengeance take, + Who sought his aid, and then his part forsake. + +If I have fallen rudely upon our vices, I hope none but the vicious +will be angry. As for writing for interest, I disown it; I have +neither place, nor pension, nor prospect; nor seek none, nor will have +none: if matter of fact justifies the truth of the crimes, the Satire +is just. As to the poetic liberties, I hope the crime is pardonable; I +am content to be stoned, provided none will attack me but the +innocent. + +If my countrymen would take the hint, and grow better natured from my +ill-natured poem as some call it; I would say this of it, that though +it is far from the best Satire that ever was wrote, it would do the +most good that ever Satire did. + +And yet I am ready to ask pardon of some gentlemen too; who though +they are Englishmen, have good nature enough to see themselves +reproved, and can hear it. These are gentlemen in a true sense, that +can bare to be told of their _faux pas_, and not abuse the reprover. +To such I must say, this is no Satire; they are exceptions to the +general rule; and I value my performance from their generous +approbation, more than I can from any opinion I have of its worth. + +The hasty errors of my verse I made my excuse for before; and since +the time I have been upon it has been but little, and my leisure less, +I have all along strove rather to make the thoughts explicit, than the +poem correct. However, I have mended some faults in this edition, and +the rest must be placed to my account. + +As to answers, banters, true English Billingsgate, I expect them till +nobody will buy, and then the shop will be shut. Had I wrote it for +the gain of the press, I should have been concerned at its being +printed again, and again, by pirates, as they call them, and +paragraph-men; but would they but do it justice, and print it true, +according to the copy, they are welcome to sell it for a penny, if +they please. + +The pence, indeed, is the end of their works. I will engage if nobody +will buy, nobody will write: and not a patriot poet of them all, now +will in defence of his native country, which I have abused, they say, +print an answer to it, and give it about for God's sake. + + + + +PREFACE. + + +The end of satire is reformation: and the author, though he doubt the +work of conversion is at a general stop, has put his hand in the +plough. I expect a storm of ill language from the fury of the town. +And especially from those whose English talent it is to rail: and, +without being taken for a conjuror, I may venture to foretel, that I +shall be cavilled at about my mean style, rough verse, and incorrect +language, things I indeed might have taken more care in. But the book +is printed; and though I see some faults, it is too late to mend them. +And this is all I think needful to say to them. + +Possibly somebody may take me for a Dutchman; in which they are +mistaken: but I am one that would be glad to see Englishmen behave +themselves better to strangers, and to governors also, that one might +not be reproached in foreign countries for belonging to a nation that +wants manners. + +I assure you, gentlemen, strangers use us better abroad; and we can +give no reason but our ill-nature for the contrary here. + +Methinks an Englishman who is so proud of being called a good fellow, +should be civil. And it cannot be denied, but we are, in many cases, +and particularly to strangers, the most churlish people alive. + +As to vices, who can dispute our intemperance, while an honest drunken +fellow is a character in a man's praise? All our reformations are +banters, and will be so till our magistrates and gentry reform +themselves, by way of example; then, and not till then, they may be +expected to punish others without blushing. + +As to our ingratitude, I desire to be understood of that particular +people, who pretending to be Protestants, have all along endeavoured +to reduce the liberties and religion of this nation into the hands of +King James and his Popish powers: together with such who enjoy the +peace and protection of the present government, and yet abuse and +affront the king who procured it, and openly profess their uneasiness +under him: these, by whatsoever names or titles they are dignified or +distinguished, are the people aimed at; nor do I disown, but that it +is so much the temper of an Englishman to abuse his benefactor, that I +could be glad to see it rectified. + +They who think I have been guilty of any error, in exposing the crimes +of my own countrymen to themselves, may, among many honest instances +of the like nature, find the same thing in Mr. Cowley, in his +imitation of the second Olympic Ode of Pindar; his words are these:-- + + But in this thankless world, the givers + Are envied even by the receivers. + 'Tis now the cheap and frugal fashion, + Rather to hide than pay an obligation. + Nay, 'tis much worse than so; + It now an artifice doth grow, + Wrongs and outrages they do, + Lest men should think we owe. + + + + +THE INTRODUCTION. + + +Speak, Satire, for there's none can tell like thee, +Whether 'tis folly, pride, or knavery, +That makes this discontented land appear +Less happy now in times of peace, than war: +Why civil feuds disturb the nation more, +Than all our bloody wars have done before. + + Fools out of favour grudge at knaves in place, +And men are always honest in disgrace: +The court preferments make men knaves in course: +But they which wou'd be in them wou'd be worse. +'Tis not at foreigners that we repine, +Wou'd foreigners their perquisites resign: +The grand contention's plainly to be seen, +To get some men put out, and some put in. +For this our Senators make long harangues. +And florid Ministers whet their polish'd tongues. +Statesmen are always sick of one disease; +And a good pension gives them present ease. +That's the specific makes them all content +With any King and any government. +Good patriots at court abuses rail, +And all the nation's grievances bewail: +But when the sov'reign balsam's once apply'd, +The zealot never fails to change his side; +And when he must the golden key resign, +The railing spirit comes about again. + + Who shall this bubbl'd nation disabuse, +While they their own felicities refuse? +Who at the wars have made such mighty pother, +And now are falling out with one another: +With needless fears the jealous nations fill, +And always have been sav'd against their will: +Who fifty millions sterling have disburs'd +To be with peace, and too much plenty, curs'd; +Who their old monarch eagerly undo, +And yet uneasily obey the new. +Search, Satire, search; a deep incision make: +The poison's strong, the antidote's too weak. +'Tis pointed truth must manage this dispute, +And down-right English, Englishmen confute. + + Whet thy just anger at the nation's pride; +And with keen phrase repel the vicious tide, +To Englishmen their own beginnings show, +And ask them, why they slight their neighbours so: +Go back to elder times, and ages past, +And nations into long oblivion cast; +To elder Britain's youthful days retire, +And there for true-born Englishmen inquire, +Britannia freely will disown the name, +And hardly knows herself from whence they came; +Wonders that they of all men should pretend +To birth, and blood, and for a name contend. +Go back to causes where our follies dwell, +And fetch the dark original from hell: +Speak, Satire, for there's none like thee can tell. + + + + +THE + +TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN. + + +PART I. + +Wherever God erects a house of prayer, +The Devil always builds a chapel there: +And 'twill be found upon examination, +The latter has the largest congregation: +For ever since he first debauch'd the mind, +He made a perfect conquest of mankind. +With uniformity of service, he +Reigns with general aristocracy. +No non-conforming sects disturb his reign, +For of his yoke, there's very few complain. +He knows the genius and the inclination, +And matches proper sins for ev'ry nation. +He needs no standing army government; +He always rules us by our own consent: +His laws are easy, and his gentle sway +Makes it exceeding pleasant to obey. +The list of his vicegerents and commanders, +Out-does your Caesars, or your Alexanders. +They never fail of his infernal aid, +And he's as certain ne'er to be betray'd. +Thro' all the world they spread his vast command, +And death's eternal empire is maintain'd. +They rule so politicly and so well, +As if they were Lords Justices of hell; +Duly divided to debauch mankind, +And plant infernal dictates in his mind. + + Pride, the first peer, and president of hell, +To his share, Spain, the largest province fell. +The subtle Prince thought fittest to bestow +On these the golden mines of Mexico, +With all the silver mountains of Peru; +Wealth which in wise hands would the world undo; +Because he knew their genius was such, +Too lazy and too haughty to be rich: +So proud a people, so above their fate, +That, if reduced to beg, they'll beg in state: +Lavish of money, to be counted brave, +And proudly starve, because they scorn to save; +Never was nation in the world before, +So very rich, and yet so very poor. + + Lust chose the torrid zone of Italy, +Where blood ferments in rapes and sodomy: +Where swelling veins o'erflow with living streams, +With heat impregnate from Vesuvian flames; +Whose flowing sulphur forms infernal lakes, +And human body of the soil partakes. +There nature ever burns with hot desires, +Fann'd with luxuriant air from subterranean fires: +Here undisturbed, in floods of scalding lust, +Th' infernal king reigns with infernal gust. + + Drunkenness, the darling favourite of hell, +Chose Germany to rule; and rules so well, +No subjects more obsequiously obey, +None please so well, or are so pleased as they; +The cunning artist manages so well, +He lets them bow to heav'n, and drink to hell. +If but to wine and him they homage pay, +He cares not to what deity they pray; +What god they worship most, or in what way. +Whether by Luther, Calvin, or by Rome, +They sail for heaven, by wine he steers them home. + + Ungovern'd passion settled first in France, +Where mankind lives in haste, and thrives by chance; +A dancing nation, fickle and untrue, +Have oft undone themselves, and others too; +Prompt the infernal dictates to obey, +And in hell's favour none more great than they. + + The pagan world he blindly leads away, +And personally rules with arbitrary sway: +The mask thrown off, plain devil, his title stands; +And what elsewhere he tempts, he there commands; +There, with full gust, th' ambition of his mind, +Governs, as he of old in heaven design'd: +Worshipp'd as God, his Paynim altars smoke, +Imbrued with blood of those that him invoke. + + The rest by deputies he rules so well, +And plants the distant colonies of hell; +By them his secret power he firm maintains, +And binds the world in his infernal chains. + + By zeal the Irish, and the Russ by folly, +Fury the Dane, the Swede by melancholy; +By stupid ignorance, the Muscovite; +The Chinese, by a child of hell, call'd wit; +Wealth makes the Persian too effeminate; +And poverty the Tartar desperate: +The Turks and Moors, by Mah'met he subdues; +And God has given him leave to rule the Jews: +Rage rules the Portuguese, and fraud the Scotch; +Revenge the Pole, and avarice the Dutch. + + Satire, be kind, and draw a silent veil, +Thy native England's vices to conceal: +Or, if that task's impossible to do, +At least be just, and show her virtues too; +Too great the first, alas! the last too few. + + England, unknown, as yet unpeopled lay,-- +Happy, had she remain'd so to this day, +And still to ev'ry nation been a prey. +Her open harbours, and her fertile plains, +The merchant's glory these, and those the swain's, +To ev'ry barbarous nation have betray'd her; +Who conquer her as oft as they invade her, +So beauty, guarded out by Innocence, +That ruins her which should be her defence. + + Ingratitude, a devil of black renown, +Possess'd her very early for his own: +An ugly, surly, sullen, selfish spirit, +Who Satan's worst perfections does inherit; +Second to him in malice and in force, +All devil without, and all within him worse. + + He made her first-born race to be so rude, +And suffer'd her to be so oft subdued; +By sev'ral crowds of wandering thieves o'er-run, +Often unpeopled, and as oft undone; +While ev'ry nation that her powers reduced, +Their languages and manners introduced; +From whose mix'd relics our compounded breed, +By spurious generation does succeed; +Making a race uncertain and uneven, +Derived from all the nations under heaven. + + The Romans first with Julius Caesar came, +Including all the nations of that name, +Gauls, Greek, and Lombards; and, by computation, +Auxiliaries or slaves of ev'ry nation. +With Hengist, Saxons; Danes with Sweno came, +In search of plunder, not in search of fame. +Scots, Picts, and Irish from th' Hibernian shore; +And conq'ring William brought the Normans o'er. + + All these their barb'rous offspring left behind, +The dregs of armies, they of all mankind; +Blended with Britons, who before were here, +Of whom the Welch ha' blest the character. + + From this amphibious, ill-born mob began, +That vain ill-natured thing, an Englishman. +The customs, sirnames, languages, and manners, +Of all these nations, are their own explainers; +Whose relics are so lasting and so strong, +They've left a Shiboleth upon our tongue; +By which, with easy search, you may distinguish +Your Roman, Saxon, Danish, Norman, English. + + The great invading Norman let us know +What conquerors in after-times might do. +To every musqueteer he brought to town, +He gave the lands which never were his own; +When first the English crown he did obtain, +He did not send his Dutchmen home again. +No re-assumptions in his reign were known, +Davenant might there ha' let his book alone. +No parliament his army could disband; +He raised no money, for he paid in land. +He gave his legions their eternal station, +And made them all freeholders of the nation. +He canton'd out the country to his men, +And every soldier was a denizen. +The rascals thus enrich'd, he called them lords, +To please their upstart pride with new-made words, +And doomsday book his tyranny records. + + And here begins the ancient pedigree +That so exalts our poor nobility. +'Tis that from some French trooper they derive, +Who with the Norman bastard did arrive: +The trophies of the families appear; +Some show the sword, the bow, and some the spear, +Which their great ancestor, forsooth, did wear. +These in the herald's register remain, +Their noble mean extraction to explain, +Yet who the hero was no man can tell, +Whether a drummer or a colonel: +The silent record blushes to reveal +Their undescended dark original. + + But grant the best. How came the change to pass; +A true-born Englishman of Norman race? +A Turkish horse can show more history, +To prove his well-descended family. +Conquest, as by the moderns 'tis express'd, +May give a title to the lands possess'd; +But that the longest sword should be so civil, +To make a Frenchman English, that's the devil. + + These are the heroes that despise the Dutch, +And rail at new-come foreigners so much; +Forgetting that themselves are all derived +From the most scoundrel race that ever lived; +A horrid crowd of rambling thieves and drones +Who ransack'd kingdoms, and dispeopled towns; +The Pict and painted Briton, treach'rous Scot, +By hunger, theft, and rapine, hither brought; +Norwegian pirates, buccaneering Danes, +Whose red-hair'd offspring everywhere remains; +Who, join'd with Norman French, compound the breed +From whence your true-born Englishmen proceed. + + And lest, by length of time, it be pretended, +The climate may this modern breed have mended; +Wise Providence, to keep us where we are, +Mixes us daily with exceeding care; +We have been Europe's sink, the jakes, where she +Voids all her offal out-cast progeny; +From our fifth Henry's time the strolling bands, +Of banish'd fugitives from neighb'ring lands, +Have here a certain sanctuary found: +The eternal refuge of the vagabond, +Where in but half a common age of time, +Borrowing new blood and manners from the clime, +Proudly they learn all mankind to contemn, +And all their race are true-born Englishmen. + + Dutch Walloons, Flemmings, Irishmen, and Scots, +Vaudois, and Valtolins, and Hugonots, +In good Queen Bess's charitable reign, +Supplied us with three hundred thousand men: +Religion--God, we thank thee!--sent them hither, +Priests, Protestants, the devil, and all together; +Of all professions, and of ev'ry trade, +All that were persecuted or afraid: +Whether for debt, or other crimes, they fled, +David at Hackelah was still their head. + + The offspring of this miscellaneous crowd, +Had not their new plantations long enjoy'd, +But they grew Englishmen, and raised their votes, +At foreign shoals of interloping Scots; +The royal branch from Pict-land did succeed, +With troops of Scots and scabs from north of Tweed; +The seven first years of his pacific reign, +Made him and half his nation Englishmen. +Scots from the northern frozen banks of Tay, +With packs and plods came whigging all away, +Thick as the locusts which in Egypt swarm'd, +With pride and hungry hopes completely arm'd; +With native truth, diseases, and no money, +Plunder'd our Canaan of the milk and honey; +Here they grew quickly lords and gentlemen, +And all their race are true-born Englishmen. + + The civil wars, the common purgative, +Which always use to make the nation thrive, +Made way for all that strolling congregation, +Which throng'd in pious Charles's restoration. +The royal refugee our breed restores, +With foreign courtiers, and with foreign whores: +And carefully re-peopled us again, +Throughout his lazy, long, lascivious reign, +With such a blest and true-born English fry, +As much illustrates our nobility. +A gratitude which will so black appear, +As future ages must abhor to bear: +When they look back on all that crimson flood, +Which stream'd in Lindsey's, and Caernarvon's blood; +Bold Strafford, Cambridge, Capel, Lucas, Lisle, +Who crown'd in death his father's fun'ral pile. +The loss of whom, in order to supply +With true-born English nobility, +Six bastard dukes survive his luscious reign, +The labours of Italian Castlemain, +French Portsmouth, Tabby Scott, and Cambrian; +Besides the num'rous bright and virgin throng, +Whose female glories shade them from my song. +This offspring if our age they multiply, +May half the house with English peers supply: +There with true English pride they may contemn +Schomberg and Portland, new-made noblemen. + + French cooks, Scotch pedlars, and Italian whores, +Were all made lords or lords' progenitors. +Beggars and bastards by this new creation +Much multiplied the peerage of the nation; +Who will be all, ere one short age runs o'er, +As true-born lords as those we had before. + + Then to recruit the commons he prepares, +And heal the latent breaches of the wars; +The pious purpose better to advance, +He invites the banish'd Protestants of France; +Hither for God's sake, and their own, they fled +Some for religion came, and some for bread: +Two hundred thousand pair of wooden shoes, +Who, God be thank'd, had nothing left to lose; +To heaven's great praise did for religion fly, +To make us starve our poor in charity. +In ev'ry port they plant their fruitful train, +To get a race of true-born Englishmen; +Whose children will, when riper years they see, +Be as ill-natured, and as proud as we; +Call themselves English, foreigners despise, +Be surly like us all, and just as wise. + + Thus from a mixture of all kinds began, +That heterogeneous thing, an Englishman: +In eager rapes, and furious lust begot, +Betwixt a painted Briton and a Scot: +Whose gend'ring offspring quickly learn'd to bow, +And yoke their heifers to the Roman plough; +From whence a mongrel half-bred race there came, +With neither name nor nation, speech or fame, +In whose hot veins new mixtures quickly ran, +Infused betwixt a Saxon and a Dane; +While their rank daughters, to their parents just, +Received all nations with promiscuous lust. +This nauseous brood directly did contain +The well-extracted blood of Englishmen. + + Which medley, canton'd in a heptarchy, +A rhapsody of nations to supply, +Among themselves maintain'd eternal wars, +And still the ladies loved the conquerors. + + The Western Angles all the rest subdued, +A bloody nation, barbarous and rude; +Who by the tenure of the sword possess'd +One part of Britain, and subdued the rest: +And as great things denominate the small, +The conquering part gave title to the whole; +The Scot, Pict, Briton, Roman, Dane, submit, +And with the English Saxon all unite: +And these the mixture have so close pursued, +The very name and memory's subdued; +No Roman now, no Briton does remain; +Wales strove to separate, but strove in vain: +The silent nations undistinguish'd fall, +And Englishman's the common name for all. +Fate jumbled them together, God knows how; +Whate'er they were, they're true-born English now. + + The wonder which remains is at our pride, +To value that which all wise men deride; +For Englishmen to boast of generation +Cancels their knowledge, and lampoons the nation, +A true-born Englishman's a contradiction, +In speech an irony, in fact a fiction: +A banter made to be a test of fools, +Which those that use it justly ridicules; +A metaphor intended to express, +A man a-kin to all the universe. + + For as the Scots, as learned men have said, +Throughout the world their wand'ring seed have spread, +So open-handed England, 'tis believed, +Has all the gleanings of the world received. + + Some think of England, 'twas our Saviour meant, +The Gospel should to all the world be sent: +Since when the blessed sound did hither reach, +They to all nations might be said to preach. + + 'Tis well that virtue gives nobility, +Else God knows where had we our gentry, +Since scarce one family is left alive, +Which does not from some foreigner derive. +Of sixty thousand English gentlemen, +Whose names and arms in registers remain, +We challenge all our heralds to declare +Ten families which English Saxons are. + + France justly boasts the ancient noble line +Of Bourbon, Montmorency, and Lorraine. +The Germans too, their house of Austria show, +And Holland, their invincible Nassau. +Lines which in heraldry were ancient grown, +Before the name of Englishman was known. +Even Scotland, too, her elder glory shows, +Her Gordons, Hamiltons, and her Monro's; +Douglas', Mackays, and Grahams, names well known, +Long before ancient England knew her own. + + But England, modern to the last degree, +Borrows or makes her own nobility, +And yet she boldly boasts of pedigree; +Repines that foreigners are put upon her, +And talks of her antiquity and honour: +Her Sackvills, Savils, Cecils, Delamers, +Mohuns, Montagues, Duras, and Veeres, +Not one have English names, yet all are English peers. +Your Houblons, Papillons, and Lethuliers, +Pass now for true-born English knights and squires, +And make good senate-members, or lord-mayors. +Wealth, howsoever got, in England makes +Lords of mechanics, gentlemen of rakes. +Antiquity and birth are needless here; +'Tis impudence and money makes a peer. + + Innumerable city knights we know, +From Blue-coat Hospitals, and Bridewell flow. +Draymen and porters fill the city chair, +And foot-boys magisterial purple wear. +Fate has but very small distinction set +Betwixt the counter and the coronet. +Tarpaulin lords, pages of high renown, +Rise up by poor men's valour, not their own; +Great families of yesterday we show, +And lords, whose parents were the Lord knows who. + + +PART II. + +The breed's described: now, Satire, if you can, +Their temper show, for manners make the man. +Fierce as the Briton, as the Roman brave, +And less inclined to conquer than to save; +Eager to fight, and lavish of their blood, +And equally of fear and forecast void. +The Pict has made them sour, the Dane morose, +False from the Scot, and from the Norman worse. +What honesty they have, the Saxon gave them, +And that, now they grow old, begins to leave them. +The climate makes them terrible and bold: +And English beef their courage does uphold: +No danger can their daring spirit dull, +Always provided when their belly's full. + + In close intrigues, their faculty's but weak; +For, gen'rally, whate'er they know they speak. +And often their own councils undermine +By their infirmity, and not design. +From whence, the learned say, it does proceed, +That English treason never can succeed: +For they're so open-hearted, you may know +Their own most secret thoughts, and others too. + + The lab'ring poor, in spite of double pay, +Are saucy, mutinous, and beggarly; +So lavish of their money and their time, +That want of forecast is the nation's crime. +Good drunken company is their delight; +And what they get by day they spend by night. +Dull thinking seldom does their heads engage, +But drink their youth away, and hurry on old age. +Empty of all good husbandry and sense; +And void of manners most when void of pence. +Their strong aversion to behaviour's such, +They always talk too little or too much. +So dull, they never take the pains to think; +And seldom are good natured but in drink. + + In English ale their dear enjoyment lies, +For which they starve themselves and families. +An Englishman will fairly drink as much, +As will maintain two families of Dutch: +Subjecting all their labours to the pots; +The greatest artists are the greatest sots. +The country poor do by example live; +The gentry lead them, and the clergy drive; +What may we not from such examples hope? +The landlord is their god, the priest their pope; +A drunken clergy, and a swearing bench, +Has given the reformation such a drench, +As wise men think, there is some cause to doubt, +Will purge good manners and religion out. + + Nor do the poor alone their liquor prize, +The sages join in this great sacrifice; +The learned men who study Aristotle, +Correct him with an explanation bottle: +Praise Epicurus rather than Lysander, +And Aristippus more than Alexander; +The doctors too their Galen here resign, +And generally prescribe specific wine; +The graduate's study's grown an easy task, +While for the urinal they toss the flask; +The surgeon's art grows plainer every hour, +And wine's the balm which into wounds they pour. + + Poets long since Parnassus have forsaken, +And say the ancient bards were all mistaken. +Apollo's lately abdicate and fled, +And good king Bacchus reigneth in his stead: +He does the chaos of the head refine, +And atom thoughts jump into words by wine: +The inspiration's of a finer nature, +As wine must needs excel Parnassus water. + + Statesmen their weighty politics refine, +And soldiers raise their courages by wine. +Cecilia gives her choristers their choice, +And lets them all drink wine to clear the voice. + + Some think the clergy first found out the way, +And wine's the only spirit by which they pray. +But others, less profane than so, agree, +It clears the lungs, and helps the memory: +And, therefore, all of them divinely think, +Instead of study, 'tis as well to drink. + + And here I would be very glad to know, +Whether our Asgilites may drink or no; +The enlightening fumes of wine would certainly +Assist them much when they begin to fly; +Or if a fiery chariot should appear, +Inflamed by wine, they'd have the less to fear. + + Even the gods themselves, as mortals say, +Were they on earth, would be as drunk as they: +Nectar would be no more celestial drink, +They'd all take wine, to teach them how to think. +But English drunkards, gods and men outdo, +Drink their estates away, and senses too. +Colon's in debt, and if his friend should fail +To help him out, must die at last in jail: +His wealthy uncle sent a hundred nobles, +To pay his trifles off, and rid him of his troubles: +But Colon, like a true-born Englishman, +Drunk all the money out in bright champaign, +And Colon does in custody remain. +Drunk'ness has been the darling of the realm, +E'er since a drunken pilot had the helm. + + In their religion, they're so uneven, +That each man goes his own byway to heaven. +Tenacious of mistakes to that degree, +That ev'ry man pursues it sep'rately, +And fancies none can find the way but he: +So shy of one another they are grown, +As if they strove to get to heaven alone. +Rigid and zealous, positive and grave, +And ev'ry grace, but charity, they have; +This makes them so ill-natured and uncivil, +That all men think an Englishman the devil. + + Surly to strangers, froward to their friend, +Submit to love with a reluctant mind, +Resolved to be ungrateful and unkind. +If, by necessity, reduced to ask, +The giver has the difficultest task: +For what's bestow'd they awkwardly receive, +And always take less freely than they give; +The obligation is their highest grief, +They never love where they accept relief; +So sullen in their sorrows, that 'tis known +They'll rather die than their afflictions own; +And if relieved, it is too often true, +That they'll abuse their benefactors too; +For in distress their haughty stomach's such, +They hate to see themselves obliged too much; +Seldom contented, often in the wrong, +Hard to be pleased at all, and never long. + + If your mistakes there ill opinion gain, +No merit can their favour re-obtain: +And if they're not vindictive in their fury, +'Tis their inconstant temper does secure ye: +Their brain's so cool, their passion seldom burns; +For all's condensed before the flame returns: +The fermentation's of so weak a matter, +The humid damps the flame, and runs it all to water; +So though the inclination may be strong, +They're pleased by fits, and never angry long: + + Then, if good-nature show some slender proof, +They never think they have reward enough; +But, like our modern Quakers of the town, +Expect your manners, and return you none. + + Friendship, th' abstracted union of the mind, +Which all men seek, but very few can find; +Of all the nations in the universe, +None can talk on't more, or understand it less; +For if it does their property annoy, +Their property their friendship will destroy. +As you discourse them, you shall hear them tell +All things in which they think they do excel: +No panegyric needs their praise record, +An Englishman ne'er wants his own good word. +His first discourses gen'rally appear, +Prologued with his own wond'rous character: +When, to illustrate his own good name, +He never fails his neighbour to defame. +And yet he really designs no wrong, +His malice goes no further than his tongue. +But, pleased to tattle, he delights to rail, +To satisfy the letch'ry of a tale. +His own dear praises close the ample speech, +Tells you how wise he is, that is, how rich: +For wealth is wisdom; he that's rich is wise; +And all men learned poverty despise: +His generosity comes next, and then +Concludes, that he's a true-born Englishman; +And they, 'tis known, are generous and free, +Forgetting, and forgiving injury: +Which may be true, thus rightly understood, +Forgiving ill turns, and forgetting good. + + Cheerful in labour when they've undertook it, +But out of humour, when they're out of pocket. +But if their belly and their pocket's full, +They may be phlegmatic, but never dull: +And if a bottle does their brains refine, +It makes their wit as sparkling as their wine. + + As for the general vices which we find, +They're guilty of in common with mankind, +Satire forbear, and silently endure, +We must conceal the crimes we cannot cure; +Nor shall my verse the brighter sex defame, +For English beauty will preserve her name; +Beyond dispute agreeable and fair, +And modester than other nations are; +For where the vice prevails, the great temptation +Is want of money more than inclination; +In general this only is allow'd, +They're something noisy, and a little proud. + + An Englishman is gentlest in command, +Obedience is a stranger in the land: +Hardly subjected to the magistrate; +For Englishmen do all subjection hate. +Humblest when rich, but peevish when they're poor, +And think whate'er they have, they merit more. + + The meanest English plowman studies law, +And keeps thereby the magistrates in awe, +Will boldly tell them what they ought to do, +And sometimes punish their omissions too. + + Their liberty and property's so dear, +They scorn their laws or governors to fear; +So bugbear'd with the name of slavery, +They can't submit to their own liberty. +Restraint from ill is freedom to the wise! +But Englishmen do all restraint despise. +Slaves to the liquor, drudges to the pots; +The mob are statesmen, and their statesmen sots. + + Their governors, they count such dang'rous things, +That 'tis their custom to affront their kings: +So jealous of the power their kings possess'd, +They suffer neither power nor kings to rest. +The bad with force they eagerly subdue; +The good with constant clamours they pursue, +And did King Jesus reign, they'd murmur too. +A discontented nation, and by far +Harder to rule in times of peace than war: +Easily set together by the ears, +And full of causeless jealousies and fears: +Apt to revolt, and willing to rebel, +And never are contented when they're well. +No government could ever please them long, +Could tie their hands, or rectify their tongue. +In this, to ancient Israel well compared, +Eternal murmurs are among them heard. + + It was but lately, that they were oppress'd, +Their rights invaded, and their laws suppress'd: +When nicely tender of their liberty, +Lord! what a noise they made of slavery. +In daily tumults show'd their discontent, +Lampoon'd their king, and mock'd his government. +And if in arms they did not first appear, +'Twas want of force, and not for want of fear. +In humbler tone than English used to do, +At foreign hands for foreign aid they sue. + + William, the great successor of Nassau, +Their prayers heard, and their oppressions saw; +He saw and saved them: God and him they praised +To this their thanks, to that their trophies raised. +But glutted with their own felicities, +They soon their new deliverer despise; +Say all their prayers back, their joy disown, +Unsing their thanks, and pull their trophies down; +Their harps of praise are on the willows hung; +For Englishmen are ne'er contented long. + + The reverend clergy too, and who'd ha' thought +That they who had such non-resistance taught, +Should e'er to arms against their prince be brought +Who up to heav'n did regal power advance; +Subjecting English laws to modes of France +Twisting religion so with loyalty, +As one could never live, and t'other die; +And yet no sooner did their prince design +Their glebes and perquisites to undermine, +But all their passive doctrines laid aside, +The clergy their own principles denied; +Unpreach'd their non-resisting cant, and pray'd +To heav'n for help, and to the Dutch for aid; +The church chimed all her doctrines back again, +And pulpit-champions did the cause maintain; +Flew in the face of all their former zeal, +And non-resistance did at once repeal. + + The Rabbi's say it would be too prolix, +To tie religion up to politics, +The churches' safety is _suprema lex_: +And so by a new figure of their own, +Their former doctrines all at once disown; +As laws _post facto_ in the parliament, +In urgent cases have attained assent; +But are as dangerous precedents laid by, +Made lawful only by necessity. + + The rev'rend fathers then in arms appear, +And men of God became the men of war: +The nation, fired by them, to arms apply, +Assault their antichristian monarchy; +To their due channel all our laws restore, +And made things what they should have been before. +But when they came to fill the vacant throne, +And the pale priests look'd back on what they'd done, +How England liberty began to thrive, +And Church of England loyality outlive; +How all their persecuting days were done, +And their deliv'rer placed upon the throne: +The priests, as priests are wont to do, turn'd tail, +They're Englishmen, and nature will prevail; +Now they deplore their ruins they have made, +And murmur for the master they betray'd; +Excuse those crimes they could not make him mend, +And suffer for the cause they can't defend; +Pretend they'd not have carried things so high, +And proto-martyrs make for popery. + + Had the prince done as they design'd the thing, +High set the clergy up to rule the king: +Taken a donative for coming hither, +And so have left their king and them together; +We had, say they, been now a happy nation; +No doubt we had seen a blessed reformation: +For wise men say 'tis as dangerous a thing, +A ruling priesthood, as a priest-rid king; +And of all plagues with which mankind are curst, +Ecclesiastic tyranny's the worst. + + If all our former grievances were feign'd, +King James has been abused, and we trepann'd; +Bugbear'd with popery and power despotic, +Tyrannic government, and leagues exotic; +The revolution's a fanatic plot, +William's a tyrant, King James was not; +A factious army and a poison'd nation, +Unjustly forced King James's abdication. + + But if he did the subjects' rights invade, +Then he was punish'd only, not betrayed; +And punishing of kings is no such crime, +But Englishmen have done it many a time. + + When kings the sword of justice first lay down, +They are no kings, though they possess the crown. +Titles are shadows, crowns are empty things, +The good of subjects is the end of kings; +To guide in war, and to protect in peace, +Where tyrants once commence the kings do cease; +For arbitrary power's so strange a thing, +It makes the tyrant and unmakes the king: +If kings by foreign priests and armies reign, +And lawless power against their oaths maintain, +Then subjects must have reason to complain: +If oaths must bind us when our kings do ill, +To call in foreign aid is to rebel: +By force to circumscribe our lawful prince, +Is wilful treason in the largest sense: +And they who once rebel, must certainly +Their God, and king, and former oaths defy; +If ye allow no mal-administration +Could cancel the allegiance of the nation, +Let all our learned sons of Levi try, +This ecclesiastic riddle to untie; +How they could make a step to call the prince, +And yet pretend the oath and innocence. + + By th' first address they made beyond the seas, +They're perjur'd in the most intense degrees; +And without scruple for the time to come, +May swear to all the kings in Christendom: +Nay, truly did our kings consider all, +They'd never let the clergy swear at all, +Their politic allegiance they'd refuse, +For whores and priests do never want excuse. + + But if the mutual contract was dissolved, +The doubt's explain'd, the difficulty solved; +That kings, when they descend to tyranny, +Dissolve the bond, and leave the subject free; +The government's ungirt when justice dies, +And constitutions are nonentities. +The nation's all a mob, there's no such thing, +As lords, or commons, parliament, or king; +A great promiscuous crowd the Hydra lies, +Till laws revive and mutual contract ties; +A chaos free to choose for their own share, +What case of government they please to wear; +If to a king they do the reins commit, +All men are bound in conscience to submit; +But then the king must by his oath assent, +To _Postulata's_ of the government; +Which if he breaks he cuts off the entail, +And power retreats to its original. + + This doctrine has the sanction of assent +From nature's universal Parliament: +The voice of nations, and the course of things, +Allow that laws superior are to kings; +None but delinquents would have justice cease, +Knaves rail at laws, as soldiers rail at peace: +For justice is the end of government, +As reason is the test of argument: +No man was ever yet so void of sense, +As to debate the right of self-defence; +A principle so grafted in the mind, +With nature born, and does like nature bind; +Twisted with reason, and with nature too, +As neither one nor t'other can undo. + + Nor can this right be less when national, +Reason which governs one should govern all; +Whate'er the dialect of courts may tell, +He that his right demands can ne'er rebel; +Which right, if 'tis by governors denied, +May be procured by force or foreign aid; +For tyranny's a nation's term of grief, +As folks cry fire to hasten in relief; +And when the hated word is heard about, +All men should come to help the people out. + + Thus England groan'd, Britannia's voice was heard, +And great Nassau to rescue her appear'd: +Call'd by the universal voice of fate, +God and the people's legal magistrate: +Ye heavens regard! Almighty Jove look down, +And view thy injured monarch on the throne; +On their ungrateful heads due vengeance take +Who sought his aid, and then his part forsake: +Witness, ye powers! it was our call alone, +Which now our pride makes us ashamed to own; +Britannia's troubles fetch'd him from afar, +To court the dreadful casualties of war; +But where requital never can be made, +Acknowledgment's a tribute seldom paid. + + He dwelt in bright Maria's circling arms, +Defended by the magic of her charms, +From foreign fears and from domestic harms; +Ambition found no fuel for her fire, +He had what God could give or man desire, +Till pity roused him from his soft repose, +His life to unseen hazards to expose; +Till pity moved him in our cause to appear, +Pity! that word which now we hate to hear; +But English gratitude is always such, +To hate the hand that does oblige too much. + + Britannia's cries gave birth to his intent, +And hardly gain'd his unforeseen assent; +His boding thoughts foretold him he should find +The people fickle, selfish, and unkind; +Which thought did to his royal heart appear +More dreadful than the dangers of the war; +For nothing grates a generous mind so soon, +As base returns for hearty service done. + + Satire, be silent! awfully prepare +Britannia's song, and William's praise to hear; +Stand by, and let her cheerfully rehearse +Her grateful vows in her immortal verse. +Loud fame's eternal trumpet let her sound, +Listen, ye distant poles, and endless round, +May the strong blast the welcome news convey, +As far as sound can reach or spirit fly! +To neighb'ring worlds, if such there be, relate +Our heroes fame for theirs to imitate; +To distant worlds of spirits let her rehearse, +For spirits without the helps of voice converse: +May angels hear the gladsome news on high, +Mix'd with their everlasting symphony; +And hell itself stand in surprise to know, +Whether it be the fatal blast or no. + + +BRITANNIA. + + The fame of virtue 'tis for which I sound, +And heroes with immortal triumphs crown'd; +Fame built on solid virtue swifter flies, +Than morning light can spread the eastern skies: +The gath'ring air returns the doubling sound; +And loud repeating thunders force it round; +Echoes return from caverns of the deep, +Old Chaos dreams on't in eternal sleep: +Time hands it forward to its latest urn, +From whence it never, never shall return: +Nothing is heard so far, or lasts so long, +'Tis heard by ev'ry ear, and spoke by every tongue. + + My hero, with the sails of honour furl'd, +Rises like the great genius of the world; +By fate and fame wisely prepared to be +The soul of war and life of victory; +He spreads the wings of virtue on the throne, +And ev'ry wind of glory fans them on; +Immortal trophies dwell upon his brow, +Fresh as the garlands he has won but now. + + By different steps the high ascent he gains, +And differently that high ascent maintains: +Princes for pride and lust of rule make war, +And struggle for the name of conqueror; +Some fight for fame, and some for victory, +He fights to save, and conquers to set free. + + Then seek no phrase his titles to conceal, +And hide with words what actions must reveal; +No parallel from Hebrew stories take, +Of godlike kings my similies to make; +No borrowed names conceal my living theme, +But names and things directly I proclaim; +His honest merit does his glory raise, +Whom that exalts let no man fear to praise; +Of such a subject no man need be shy, +Virtue's above the reach of flattery; +He needs no character but his own fame, +Nor any flattering titles but his own name. + + William's the name that's spoke by every tongue, +William's the darling subject of my song; +Listen, ye virgins, to the charming sound, +And in eternal dances hand it round; +Your early offerings to this altar bring, +Make him at once a lover and a king; +May he submit to none but to your arms, +Nor ever be subdued, but by your charms; +May your soft thoughts for him be all sublime, +And ev'ry tender vow be made for him; +May he be first in ev'ry morning thought, +And heav'n ne'er hear a prayer where he's left out; +May every omen, every boding dream, +Be fortunate by mentioning his name; +May this one charm infernal powers affright, +And guard you from the terror of the night; +May ev'ry cheerful glass as it goes down +To William's health, be cordials to your own: +Let ev'ry song be chorust with his name, +And music pay her tribute to his fame; +Let ev'ry poet tune his artful verse, +And in immortal strains his deeds rehearse: +And may Apollo never more inspire +The disobedient bard with his seraphic fire +May all my sons their grateful homage pay, +His praises sing, and for his safety pray. + + Satire, return to our unthankful isle, +Secured by heaven's regards, and William's toil: +To both ungrateful, and to both untrue, +Rebels to God, and to good nature too. + + If e'er this nation be distress'd again, +To whomsoe'er they cry, they'll cry in vain; +To heav'n they cannot have the face to look, +Or, if they should, it would but heav'n provoke; +To hope for help from man would be too much, +Mankind would always tell 'em of the Dutch: +How they came here our freedoms to maintain, +Were paid, and cursed, and hurried home again; +How by their aid we first dissolved our fears, +And then our helpers damn'd for foreigners: +'Tis not our English temper to do better, +For Englishmen think ev'ry one their debtor. + + 'Tis worth observing, that we ne'er complain'd +Of foreigners, nor of the wealth we gain'd, +Till all their services were at an end: +Wise men affirm it is the English way, +Never to grumble till they come to pay; +And then they always think, their temper's such, +The work too little, and the pay too much. + + As frighted patients, when they want a cure, +Bid any price, and any pain endure: +But when the doctor's remedies appear, +The cure's too easy, and the price too dear: +Great Portland near was banter'd when he strove, +For us his master's kindest thoughts to move: +We ne'er lampoon'd his conduct, when employ'd +King James's secret councils to divide: +Then we caress'd him as the only man, +Who could the doubtful oracle explain; +The only Hushai, able to repel +The dark designs of our Achitophel: +Compared his master's courage to his sense, +The ablest statesman, and the bravest prince; +On his wise conduct we depended much, +And liked him ne'er the worse for being Dutch: +Nor was he valued more than he deserved, +Freely he ventured, faithfully he served; +In all King William's dangers he has shared, +In England's quarrels always he appear'd: +The revolution first, and then the Boyne, +In both, his counsels and his conduct shine; +His martial valour Flanders will confess, +And France regrets his managing the peace; +Faithful to England's interest and her king, +The greatest reason of our murmuring: +Ten years in English service he appear'd, +And gain'd his master's and the world's regard; +But 'tis not England's custom to reward, +The wars are over, England needs him not; +Now he's a Dutchman, and the Lord knows what. + + Schonbergh, the ablest soldier of his age, +With great Nassau did in our cause engage; +Both join'd for England's rescue and defence, +The greatest captain and the greatest prince; +With what applause his stories did we tell, +Stories which Europe's volumes largely swell! +We counted him an army in our aid, +Where he commanded, no man was afraid; +His actions with a constant conquest shine, +From Villa Vitiosa to the Rhine; +France, Flanders, Germany, his fame confess, +And all the world was fond of him but us: +Our turn first served, we grudged him the command, +Witness the grateful temper of the land. + + We blame the King, that he relies too much, +On Strangers, Germans, Hugonots, and Dutch; +And seldom does his great affairs of state, +To English counsellors communicate: +The fact might very well be answer'd thus: +He had so often been betray'd by us, +He must have been a madman to rely, +On English gentlemen's fidelity; +For, laying other argument aside: +This thought might mortify our English pride; +That foreigners have faithfully obey'd him, +And none but Englishmen have e'er betray'd him: +They have our ships and merchants bought and sold, +And barter'd English blood for foreign gold; +First to the French they sold our Turkey fleet, +And injured Talmarsh next at Cameret; +The king himself is shelter'd from their snares, +Not by his merits, but the crown he wears; +Experience tells us 'tis the English way, +Their benefactors always to betray. + + And, lest examples should be too remote, +A modern magistrate of famous note, +Shall give you his own history by rote; +I'll make it out, deny it he that can, +His worship is a true-born Englishman; +By all the latitude that empty word, +By modern acceptation's understood: +The parish books his great descent record, +And now he hopes ere long to be a lord; +And truly, as things go, it would be pity, +But such as he bore office in the city; +While robb'ry for burnt-offering he brings, +And gives to God what he has stole from kings; +Great monuments of charity he raises, +And good St. Magnus whistles out his praises; +To city jails he grants a jubilee, +And hires huzza's from his own mobile. + + Lately he wore the golden chain and gown, +With which equipp'd he thus harangued the town. + + +HIS FINE SPEECH, &c. + + With clouted iron shoes, and sheep-skin breeches, +More rags than manners, and more dirt than riches, +From driving cows and calves to Leyton market, +While of my greatness there appear'd no spark yet, +Behold I come to let you see the pride, +With which exalted beggars always ride. + + Born to the needful labours of the plough, +The cart-whip graced me, as the chain does now. +Nature and fate in doubt what course to take, +Whether I should a lord or plough-boy make; +Kindly at last resolv'd they would promote me, +And first a knave, and then a knight they vote me. +What fate appointed, nature did prepare, +And furnish'd me with an exceeding care, +To fit me for what they design'd to have me; +And every gift but honesty they gave me. + + And thus equipp'd, to this proud town I came, +In quest of bread, and not in quest of fame. +Blind to my future fate, an humble boy, +Free from the guilt and glory I enjoy. +The hopes which my ambition entertain'd, +Where in the name of foot-boy, all contain'd. +The greatest heights from small beginnings rise; +The gods were great on earth, before they reach'd the skies. + + Backwell, the generous temper of whose mind, +Was always to be bountiful inclin'd: +Whether by his ill fate or fancy led, +First took me up, and furnish'd me with bread: +The little services he put me to, +Seem'd labours, rather than were truly so. +But always my advancement he design'd; +For 'twas his very nature to be kind: +Large was his soul, his temper ever free; +The best of masters and of men to me: +And I who was before decreed by fate, +To be made infamous as well as great, +With an obsequious diligence obey'd him, +Till trusted with his all, and then betray'd him. + + All his past kindnesses I trampled on, +Ruin'd his fortunes to erect my own: +So vipers in the bosom bred begin, +To hiss at that hand first which took them in; +With eager treach'ry I his fall pursu'd, +And my first trophies were ingratitude. + + Ingratitude's the worst of human guilt, +The basest action mankind can commit; +Which, like the sin against the Holy Ghost, +Has least of honour, and of guilt the most; +Distinguished from all other crimes by this, +That 'tis a crime which no man will confess; +That sin alone, which should not be forgiv'n +On earth, altho' perhaps it may in heaven. + + Thus my first benefactor I o'erthrew; +And how shou'd I be to a second true? +The public trust came next into my care, +And I to use them scurvily prepare: +My needy sov'reign lord I play'd upon, +And lent him many a thousand of his own; +For which great interest I took care to charge, +And so my ill-got wealth became so large. + + My predecessor Judas was a fool, +Fitter to have been whipt and sent to school, +Than sell a Saviour: had I been at hand, +His Master had not been so cheap trepann'd; +I would have made the eager Jews have found, +For thirty pieces, thirty thousand pound. + + My cousin Ziba, of immortal fame, +(Ziba and I shall never want a name:) +First-born of treason, nobly did advance +His Master's fall, for his inheritance: +By whose keen arts old David first began +To break his sacred oath to Jonathan: +The good old king 'tis thought was very loth +To break his word, and therefore broke his oath. +Ziba's a traitor of some quality, +Yet Ziba might have been inform'd by me: +Had I been there, he ne'er had been content +With half th' estate, nor half the government. + + In our late revolution 'twas thought strange, +That I of all mankind should like the change, +But they who wonder'd at it never knew, +That in it I did my old game pursue: +Nor had they heard of twenty thousand pound, +Which ne'er was lost, yet never could be found. + + Thus all things in their turn to sale I bring, +God and my master first, and then the king; +Till by successful villanies made bold, +I thought to turn the nation into gold; +And so to forgery my hand I bent, +Not doubting I could gull the Government; +But there was ruffl'd by the Parliament. +And if I 'scaped th' unhappy tree to climb, +'Twas want of law, and not for want of crime; + + But my old friend,[A] who printed in my face +A needful competence of English brass; +Having more business yet for me to do, +And loth to lose his trusty servant so, +Managed the matter with such art and skill, +As sav'd his hero, and threw out the Bill. + + And now I'm grac'd with unexpected honours, +For which I'll certainly abuse the donors: +Knighted, and made a tribune of the people, +Whose laws and properties I'm like to keep well: +The custos rotulorum of the city, +And captain of the guards of their banditti. +Surrounded by my catchpoles, I declare +Against the needy debtor open war. +I hang poor thieves for stealing of your pelf, +And suffer none to rob you, but myself. + + The king commanded me to help reform ye, +And how I'll do't, Miss ---- shall inform ye. +I keep the best seraglio in the nation, +And hope in time to bring it into fashion; +No brimstone whore need fear the lash from me, +That part I'll leave to Brother Jefferey: +Our gallants need not go abroad to Rome, +I'll keep a whoring jubilee at home; +Whoring's the darling of my inclination; +An't I a magistrate for reformation? +For this my praise is sung by ev'ry bard, +For which Bridewell wou'd be a just reward. +In print my panegyric fills the street, +And hired gaol-birds their huzzas repeat; +Some charities contriv'd to make a show, +Have taught the needy rabble to do so; +Whose empty noise is a mechanic fame, +Since for Sir Beelzebub they'd do the same. + +[Footnote A: The Devil.] + + +THE CONCLUSION. + + Then let us boast of ancestors no more, +Or deeds of heroes done in days of yore, +In latent records of the ages past, +Behind the rear of time, in long oblivion plac'd; +For if our virtues must in lines descend, +The merit with the families would end, +And intermixtures would most fatal grow; +For vice would be hereditary too; +The tainted blood would of necessity, +Involuntary wickedness convey. + + Vice, like ill-nature, for an age or two, +May seem a generation to pursue; +But virtue seldom does regard the breed, +Fools do the wise, and wise men fools succeed. + + What is't to us, what ancestors we had? +If good, what better? or what worse, if bad? +Examples are for imitation set, +Yet all men follow virtue with regret. + + Could but our ancestors retrieve their fate, +And see their offspring thus degenerate; +How we contend for birth and names unknown, +And build on their past actions, not our own; +They'd cancel records, and their tombs deface, +And openly disown the vile degenerate race: +For fame of families is all a cheat, +It's personal virtue only makes us great. + + +THE END. + + + + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The True-Born Englishman, by Daniel Defoe + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE TRUE-BORN ENGLISHMAN *** + +***** This file should be named 30159.txt or 30159.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/0/1/5/30159/ + +Produced by Steven Gibbs, Linda Cantoni, and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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