diff options
Diffstat (limited to '30411-0.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | 30411-0.txt | 1330 |
1 files changed, 1330 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/30411-0.txt b/30411-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a39db66 --- /dev/null +++ b/30411-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1330 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30411 *** + + English + As She is Spoke: + + or + + A Jest in Sober Earnest. + + No. I. + + The Parchment Paper Series. + + _English As She is Spoke._ + +"EXCRUCIATINGLY FUNNY," says _The World_, is "English as she is +Spoke, or a Jest in Sober thought." + + -- + +"EVERY one who loves a laugh," says _Fun_, "should either buy, beg, +borrow, or--we had almost said steal--this book; for in sober earnest +we aver that it is not given to every one to 'jest so.'" + + English + As She is Spoke: + + or + + A Jest in Sober Earnest. + + With an Introduction by + + JAMES MILLINGTON. + + *** + + New York: D. Appleton & Co., 1, 3, & 5 Bond Street. + + 1884. + + * Introduction * + + ** + +_FROM_ the time of Shakspere downwards, wits and authors innumerable +have made themselves and the public more or less merry at the expense +of the earlier efforts of the student of a strange tongue; but it has +been reserved to our own time for a _soi disant_ instructor to +perpetrate--at his own expense--the monstrous joke of publishing a +Guide to Conversation in a language of which it is only too evident +that every word is utterly strange to him. The Teutonic sage who +evolved the ideal portrait of an elephant from his "inner +consciousness" was a commonplace, matter-of fact person compared with +the daring visionary who conjures up a complete system of language +from the same fertile but untrustworthy source. The piquancy of +Senhor Pedro Carolino's _New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese +and English_ is enhanced by the evident _bona fides_ and careful +compilation of "the little book," or as Pedro himself gravely +expresses it, "for the care what we wrote him, and for her +typographical correction." + +In short, the _New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and +English_ was written with serious intent, and for the purpose of +initiating Portuguese students into the mysteries of the English +language. The earlier portions of the book are divided into three +columns, the first giving the Portuguese; the second what, in the +opinion of the author, is the English equivalent; and the third the +English equivalent phonetically spelt, so that the tyro may at the +same time master our barbarous phraseology and the pronunciation +thereof. In the second part of the work the learner is supposed to +have sufficiently mastered the pronunciation of the English language, +to be left to his own devices. + +A little consideration of the shaping of our author's English phrases +leads to the conclusion that the materials used have been a +Portuguese-French phrase-book and a French-English dictionary. With +these slight impedimenta has the daring Lusitanian ventured upon the +unknown deep of a strange language, and the result, to quote again +from the Preface, "May be worth the acceptation of the studious +persons, and especially of the Youth, at which we dedicate him +particularly," but will at all events contribute not a little to the +Youth's hilarity. + +To begin with the vocabulary; it is perhaps hardly fair to expect a +professor of languages to trouble himself with "Degrees of Kindred," +still, such titles as "Gossip mistress, a relation, an relation, a +guardian, an guardian, the quatergrandfather, the quater-grandmother," +require some slight elucidation, and passing over the catalogue of +articles of dress which are denominated "Objects of Man" and "Woman +Objects," one may take exception to "crumbs" and "groceries," which +are inserted among plates and cruets as ordinary table garniture. + +Among what are denominated "Eatings" we find "some wigs," "a dainty +dishes," "a mutton shoulder," "a little mine," "hog-fat," and "an +amelet": the _menu_ is scarcely appetising, especially when among +"Fishes and Shellfishes" our Portuguese Lucullus sets down the +"hedgehog," "snail," and "wolf." After this such trifles as "starch" +arranged under the heading of "Metals and Minerals," and "brick" and +"whitelead" under that of "Common Stones" fall almost flat; but one +would like to be initiated into the mysteries of "gleek," "carousal," +and "keel," which are gravely asserted to be "Games." Among "Chivalry +Orders" one has a glimmering of what is intended by "Saint +Michaelmas" and "Very-Merit"; but under the heading of "Degrees," +although by a slight exercise of the imagination we can picture to +ourselves "a quater master," "a general to galeries," or even a +"vessel captain," we are entirely nonplussed by "a harbinger" and "a +parapet." + +Passing on to "Familiar Phrases," most of which appear to be old +friends with new faces, Senhor Carolino's literal cribs from the +French become more and more apparent, in spite of his boast in the +Preface of being "clean of gallicisms and despoiled phrases." "Apply +you at the study during that you are young" is doubtless an excellent +precept, and as he remarks further on "How do you can it to deny"; +but study may be misdirected, and in the moral, no less than in the +material world, it is useful to know. "That are the dishes whom you +must be and to abstain"; while the meaning of "This girl have a +beauty edge" is scarcely clear unless it relates to the preternatural +acuteness of the fair sex in these days of board schools and woman's +rights. + +Further on the conversationalist appears to get into rough company, +and we find him remarking "He laughs at my nose, he jest by me," +gallicé "_Il me rit au nez, il se moque de moi_"; "He has me take out +my hairs," "He does me some kicks," "He has scratch the face with +hers nails," all doubtless painfully translated with the assistance +of a French-English dictionary from "_Il m'a arraché les cheveux_," +"_Il me donne des coups-de-pied_," "_Il m'a lacere la figure de ses +ongles_." It is noticeable that our instructor as a rule endeavours +to make the possessive pronoun agree with the substantive in number +and gender in orthodox Portuguese fashion, and that like a true +grammatical patriot he insists upon the substantive having the same +gender as in his native tongue; therefore "_às unhas_" must be +rendered "hers nails" and "_vóssas civilidádes_" "yours civilities." +By this time no one will be disposed to contradict our inimitable +Pedro when he remarks "_E factéo_" giving the translation as "He has +the word for to laugh," a construction bearing a suspicious +resemblance to "_Il a le mot pour rire._" "He do the devil at four" +has no reference to an artful scheme for circumventing the Archfiend +at a stated hour, but is merely a simulacrum of the well-known gallic +idiomatic expression "_Il fait le diable à quatre._" Truly this is +excellent fooling; _Punch_ in his wildest humour, backed by the whole +colony of Leicester Square, could not produce funnier English. +"He burns one's self the brains," "He was fighted in duel," "They +fight one's selfs together," "He do want to fall," would be more +intelligible if less picturesque in their original form of "_Il se +brûle la cervelle_," "_Il s'cet battu en duel_," "_lis se battent +ensemble_," "_Il manque de tomber_." The comic vein running through +the "Familiar Phrases" is so inexhaustible that space forbids further +quotation from this portion of the book, which may be appropriately +closed with "Help to a little most the better yours terms," a +mysterious adjuration, which a reference to the original Portuguese +leads one to suppose may be a daring guess at "_Choisissez un pen +mieux vos paroles_." + +In the second part, entitled "Familiar Dialogues," the fun grows fast +and furious. Let us accompany our mad wag upon "The walk." "You hear +the bird's gurgling?" he enquires, and then rapturously exclaims +"Which pleasure! which charm! The field has by me a thousand +charms"; after this, to the question "Are you hunter? Will you go to +the hunting in one day this week?" he responds "Willingly; I have not +a most pleasure in the world. There is some game on they cantons." +Proceeding from "game" to "gaming" we soon run aground upon the word +"_jeu_," which as we know does duty in French both for a game and a +pack of cards. "At what pack will you that we does play?" "To the +cards." Of course this is "_A quel Jeu voulez vous que nous +Jouions?_" "_Aux cartes_;" and further on "This time I have a great +deal pack," "_Cette fois j'ai un jeu excellent!_" + +Now let us listen to our friend at his tailor's: his greeting is +perky--almost slangy. "Can you do me a coat?" he enquires, but +quickly drivels down to "What cloth will you do to?" and then to the +question "What will you to double (_doubler_) the coat?" obtains the +satisfactory answer "From something of duration. I believe to you +that." After requesting to have his garment "The rather that be +possible," he overwhelms the procrastinating man of cloth with the +stern remark "You have me done to expect too," evidently a bold +version of "_Vous m' avez fait trop attendre_," which draws forth the +natural excuse "I did can't to come rather." Passing by a number of +good things which one would like to analyse if space permitted, we +arrive at "For to ride a horse," a fine little bit of word painting +almost Carlylean in its grotesqueness. "Here is a horse who have a + bad looks. He not sail know to march, he is pursy, he is foundered. +Don't you are ashamed to give me a jade as like? he is unshoed, he is +with nails up; it want to lead to the farrier." "Let us prick +(_piquons_) go us more fast, never I was seen a so much bad beast; +she will not nor to bring forward neither put back." "Strek him the +bridle," cries the horsedealer, "Hold him the rein sharters." "Pique +stron gly, make to marsh him." "I have pricked him enough. But +I can't to make marsh him," replies the indignant client. "Go down, I +shall make marsh," declares the dealer; upon which the incensed +equestrian rejoins "Take care that he not give you a foot kicks," and +the "coper" sardonically but somewhat incoherently concludes with +"Then he kicks for that I look? Sook here if I knew to tame hix." + +After the "Familiar Dialogues" we come upon a series of letters from +celebrated personages, who would be puzzled to recognize themselves +in their new dresses; and a collection of anecdotes which may be +taken singly after dinner as a gentle promoter of digestion; the +whole being appropriately concluded with "Idiotisms and Proverbs," +between which it must be confessed the distinction is purely +imaginary; the following are a few gems: "Its are some blu stories" +(_contes bleus_); "Nothing some money, nothing some Swiss," "He sin +in trouble water" (confusion of _pécher_ and _pêcher_). "A horse +baared don't look him the tooth," "The stone as roll not heap up not +foam," _mousse_ meaning both foam and moss, of course the wrong +meaning is essential to a good "idiotism." "To force to forge, +becomes smith" (_a force de forger on devient forgeron_). "To +craunch the marmoset" and "To fatten the foot" may terminate the +list, and are incontestably more idiotic, although scarcely so +idiomatic as "_Croquer le marmot_" and "_Graisser lapatte_." + +The column in Portuguese which runs throughout the original work is +omitted, and only a sufficient number of the English extracts are +culled to enable the reader to form a just idea of the +unintentionally humorous style that an author may fall into who +attempts to follow the intricacies of "English as she is spoke" by +the aid of a French dictionary and a phrasebook. + +It is to be trusted the eccentric "Guide" to which this short sketch +is intended to serve as Introduction--and, so far as may be, +elucidation--is not a fair specimen of Portuguese or Brazilian +educational literature; if such be the case the schoolmaster is +indeed "abroad," and one may justly fear that his instruction--to +quote once more the Preface--"only will be for to accustom the +Portuguese pupils, or foreign, to speak very bad any of the mentioned +idioms." + + *** + + Preface. + + [Author's] + +_A CHOICE of_ familiar dialogues, _clean of gallicisms, and despoiled +phrases, it was missing yet to studious Portuguese and brazilian +Youth; and also to persons of others nations, that wish to know the +Portuguese language. We sought all we may do, to correct that want, +composing and divising the present little work in two parts. The +first includes a greatest vocabulary proper names by alphabetical +order; and the second forty three_ Dialogues _adapted to the usual +precisions of the life. For that reason we did put, with a scrupulous +exactness, a great variety own expressions to english and Portuguese +idioms; without to attach us selves (as make some others) almost at a +literal translation; translation what only will be for to accustom +the Portuguese pupils, or-foreign, to speak very bad any of the +mentioned idioms._ + +_We were increasing this second edition with a phraseology, in the +first part, and some familiar letters, anecdotes, idiotisms, +proverbs, and to second a coin's index._ + +_The_ Works _which we were confering for this labour, fond use us for +nothing; but those what were publishing to Portugal, or out, they +were almost all composed for some foreign, or for some national +little acquainted in the spirit of both languages. It was resulting +from that carelessness to rest these_ Works _fill of imperfections, +and anomalies of style; in spite of the infinite typographical faults +which some times, invert the sense of the periods. It increase not to +contain any of those_ Works _the figured pronunciation of the english +words, nor the prosodical accent in the Portuguese; indispensable +object whom wish to speak the english and Portuguese languages +correctly._ + +_We expect then, who the little book (for the care what we wrote him, +and for her typographical correction) that may be worth the +acceptation of the studious persons, and especially of the Youth, at +which we dedicate him particularly._ + + *** + + _English as she is spoke._ + + ** + + Of the Man. + + The Brain | The inferior lip + The brains | The superior lip + The fat of the Leg | The marrow + The ham | The reins + + Defects of the body. + + A blind | A left handed + A lame | An ugly + A bald | A squint-eyed + A deaf + + Degrees of kindred. + + The gossip | the quater-grandfather + The gossip mistress | The quater-grandmother + The Nurse | A guardian + A relation | An guardian + An relation | A widower + An widow. + + Trades. + + Starch-maker | Porter + Barber | Chinaman + Coffeeman | Founder + Porkshop-keeper | Grave-digger + Cartwright | Tradesman + Tinker, a brasier | Stockingmender + Nailer | Lochsmith + + Objects of man. + + The boots | The lining + The buckles | The clogs + The buttons-holes | The wig + The buskins | the morning-gown, night-gown + + Woman objects. + + The busk | The paint or disguise + The sash | The spindle + The conet | The patches + The pumps | The skate + + Servants. + + Coochmann | Spendth + Running footman | Business-man + Groome. + + Diseases. + + The apoplexy | The megrime + The scrofulas | The whitlow + The melancholy | The rheumatisme + The vomitory. + + Parties a Town. + + The butchery | The low eating house + The cause-way | The obelis-ks + The sink | The prison, geol + + Kitchen utensils. + + The skimming-dish | The spark + The potlid | The fire + The pothanger | The smoke + The spunge | The clout + The jack. + + Of the bed. + + The bed wood | The feet's bed + The bed battom | The pillar's bed + The head's bed. + + For the table. + + Some knifes | Some groceries + Some crumb. + + Eatings. + + Some sugar-plum | Hog fat + Some wigs | Some marchpanes + A chitterling sausages. | An amelet + A dainty-dishes | A slice, steak + A mutton shoulder | Vegetables boiled to a pap + + Seasonings. + + Some wing | Some pinions + Some cinnamon | Some hog'slard + Some oranges | Some verjuice + + Drinkings. + + Some orgeat | Some paltry wine + Some sirup or sirop + + Quadruped's beasts. + + Lamb | Roebuck + Ass | Dragon + Shi ass | wild sow + Ass-colt | Lioness + Ram, aries | Dormouse + + Birds. + + Becafico | Heuth-cock + Calander | Whoop + Stor | Pea cock + Yeung turkey | Pinch + Red-Breast, a robin + + Insects-reptiles. + + Asp, aspic | Fly + Morpion | Butter fly + Serpent. + + Fishes and shell-fishes. + + Calamary | Large lobster + Dorado | Snail + A sorte of fish | Wolf + Hedge hog | Torpedo + Sea-calf. + + Trees. + + Lote-tree lotos | Service-tree + Chest nut-tree | Jujube-tree + Linden-tree. + +Flowers. + + Anemony | Mil-foils + Blue-bottle | Hink + Turnsol. + + Hunting. + + Hunting dog | Picker + Relay dog | Gun-powder + Hound dog | Priming-powder + Hound's fee | Hunts man + + Colours. + + White | Gridelin + Cray | Musk + Red. + + Metals and minerals. + + Starch | Latten + Cooper | Plaster + Vitriole + + Common stones. + + Loadstones | White lead + Brick | Gum-stone + + Weights. + + Counterpoise | An obole + A pound an half | A quater ounce. + + Games. + + Football-ball | Pile + Bar | Mall + Gleek | Even or non even + Carousal | Keel + + Perfumes. + + Benzion | Pomatum + Perfume paw | Storax + + On the church. + + The sides of the nef | The little cellal + The holywater-pot | The boby of the church + + Solemn-feasts. + + The Deads-day | The Vigil + The Twelfth-Dat | The Visitation + + Ecclesiastical dignities. + + Incumbent | General of an order + Canon | Penitentiary + Canoness | Theologist + Chanter, a clerk | General curate + + Chivalry orders. + + Black eagle | Elephant + Avis, advice | Honour Legion + Calatrava | Saint Michaelmas + Very-merit. + + Degrees. + + A cannoneer | A general to galeries + A vessel captain | A great admiral + A harbinger | A king a lieutenant + A parapet | A quater master + A army general | A vice admiral's ship + + Military objects. + + The bait. | The fire pan + An arquebuse | A bomb ketch + A bandoleer | The military case + A fusil, a gun. + + Music's instruments. + + A flagelet | A dreum + A hurdy-gurdy. + + Chastisements. + + A fine | To break upon + Honourable fine | To tear off the flesh + To draw to four horses + + *** + + Familiar Phrases. + + Go to send for. + Have you say that? + Have you understand that he says? + At what purpose have say so? + Put your confidence at my. + At what o'clock dine him? + Apply you at the study during that you are young. + Dress your hairs. + Sing an area. + These apricots and these peaches make me and to come water in mouth. + How do you can it to deny? + Wax my shoes. + That is that I have think. + That are the dishes whose you must be and to abstain. + This meat ist not too over do. + This ink is white. + This room is filled of bugs. + This girl have a beauty edge. + It is a noise which to cleave the head. + This wood is fill of thief's. + Tell me, it can one to know? + Give me some good milk newly get out. + To morrow hi shall be entirely (her master) or unoccupied. + She do not that to talk and to cackle. + Dry this wine. + He laughs at my nose, he jest by me. + He has spit in my coat. + He has me take out my hairs. + He does me some kicks. + He has scratch the face with hers nails. + He burns one's self the brains. + He is valuable his weight's gold. + He has the word for to laugh. + He do the devil at four. + He make to weep the room. + He was fighted in duel. + They fight one's selfs together. + He do want to fall. + It must never to laugh of the unhappies. + He was wanting to be killed. + I am confused all yours civilities. + I am catched cold. + I not make what to coughand spit. + Never I have feeld a such heat + Till say-us? + Till hither. + I have put my stockings outward. + I have croped the candle. + I have mind to vomit. + I will not to sleep on street. + I am catched cold in the brain. + I am pinking me with a pin. + I dead myself in envy to see her. + I take a broth all morning. + I shall not tell you than two woods. + Have you understanded? + Let him have know? + Have you understand they? + Do you know they? + Do you know they to? + The storm is go over. + The sun begins to dissipe it. + Witch prefer you? + The paving stone is sliphery. + The thunderbolt is falling down. + The rose-trees begins to button. + The ears are too length. + The hands itch at him. + Have you forgeted me? + Lay him hir apron. + Help-to a little most the better yours terms. + Dont you are awaken yet? + That should must me to cost my life. + We are in the canicule. + No budge you there. + Do not might one's understand to speak. + Where are their stockings, their shoes, her shirt and her petlicot? + One's can to believe you? + One's find-modest the young men rarely. + If can't to please at every one's. + Take that boy and whip him to much. + Take attention to cut you self. + Take care to dirt you self. + Dress my horse. + Since you not go out, I shall go out nor I neither. + That may dead if I lie you. + What is it who want you? + Why you no helps me to? + Upon my live. + All trees have very deal bear. + A throat's ill. + You shall catch cold one's. + You make grins. + Will some mutton? + Will you fat or slight? + Will you this? + Will you a bon? + You not make who to babble. + You not make that to prate all day's work. + You interompt me. + You mistake you self heavily. + You come too rare. + + _End First Part's_ + + *** + + Familiar Dialogues + + _For to wish the good morning._ + + How does your father do? + He is very well. + I am very delight of it. Were is it? + I shall come back soon, I was no came that to know how you are. + + _For make a visit in the morning._ + + Is your master at home? + Yes, sir. + Is it up. + No, sir, he sleep yet. + I go make that he get up. + It come in one's? How is it, you are in bed yet? + Yesterday at evening, I was to bed so late that + I may not rising me soon that morning. + Well! what you have done after the supper? + We have sung, danced, laugh and played. + What game? + To the picket. + Whom I am sorry do not have know it! + Who have prevailed upon? + I had gained ten lewis. + Till at what o'clock its had play one? + Un till two o'clock after mid night. + At what o'clock are you go to bed. + Half pass three. + I am no astonished if you get up so late. + What o'clock is it? + What o'clock you think is it? + I think is not yet eight o'clock. + How is that, eight 'clock! it is ten 'clock struck. + It must then what I rise me quickly. + Adieu, my deer, I leave you. If can to see you at six clock to the + hotel from ***, we swill dine togetter. + Willingly. Good by. + + _For to dress him self._ + + John, make haste, lighted the fire and dress-me. + Give me my shirt. + There is it sir. + Is it no hot, it is too cold yet. + If you like, I will hot it. + No, no, bring me my silk stocking's. + Its are make holes. + Make its a point, or make to mend them. + Comb me, take another comb. Give me my handkarchief. + There is a clean, sir. + What coat dress you to day? + Those that I had yesterday. + The tailor do owe to bring soon that of cloth. + Have you wexed my shoes? I go wex its now. + It must that I may wash my hands, the mouth and my face. + + _The walk._ + + Will you and take a walk with me? + Wait for that the warm be out. + Go through that meadow. + Who the country is beautiful! who the trees are thick! + Take the bloom's perfume. + It seems me that the corn does push alredy. + You hear the bird's gurgling? + Which pleasure! which charm! + The field has by me a thousand charms. + Are you hunter? will you go to the hunting in one day this week? + Willingly; I have not a most pleasure in the world. There is some + game on they cantons? + We have done a great walk. + + _The weather._ + + We shall have a fine weather to day. + There is some foggy. + I fear of the thunderbolt. + The sun rise on. + The sun lie down. + It is light moon's. + + _For to write._ + + It is to day courier day's; I have a letter to write. + At which does you write? + Is not that? look one is that. + This letter is arrears. + It shall stay to the post. This pen are good for notting. During I + finish that letter, do me the goodness to seal this packet; it is + by my cousin. + How is the day of month? + The two, the three, the four, etc. + That is some letter to me. + Go to bear they letter to the post. + + _The gaming._ + + Do you like the gaming? + At what pack will you that we does play? + To the cards. + Waiter, give us a card's game. + What is the trump? + The club's king. + Play, if you please. + The heart's aces. + We do ought. + This time I have a great deal pack. + + _With the tailor._ + + Can you do me a coat? + What cloth will you do to? + From a stuff what be of season. + How much wants the ells for coat, waist coat, and breeches? + Six ells. + What will you to double the coat? + From some thing of duration. I believe to you that + When do you bring me my coat? + The rather that be possible. + Bring you my coat? + Yes, sir, there is it. + You have me done to expect too. + I did can't to come rather. + It don't are finished? + The lining war not sewd. + It is so that do one's now. + Button me. + It pinches me too much upon stomack. + The sleeves have not them great deal wideness? + No, sir, they are well. + + _With a hair dresser._ + + Your razors, are them well? + Yes, Sir. + Comb-me quickly; don't put me so much pomatum. What news tell me? + all hairs dresser are newsmonger. + Sir, I have no heared any thing. + + _For to breakfast._ + + John bring us some thing for to breakfast. + Yes, Sir; there is some sousages. Will you than I bring the ham? + Yes, bring-him, we will cup a steak put a nappe clothe upon + this table. + I you do not eat? + How you like the tea. + It is excellent. + Still a not her cup. + + _For to ask some news._ + + It is true what is told of master M***? + Then what is told of him? + I have heard that he is hurt mortally. + I shall be sowow of it, because he is a honestman. + Which have wounden him? + Do know it why? + The noise run that is by to have given a box on the ear + to a of them. + + _For to buy._ + + I won't have a good and fine cloth to make a coat. + How much do you sell it the ell? + We thout overcharge you from a halfpenny, it cost twenty franks. + Sir, I am not accustomed to cheapen: tell me the last price. + I have told you, sir, it is valuable in that. + It is too much dear, I give at it, eighteen franks. + You shall not have what you have wished. + You did beg me my last word, I told you them. + Well, well, cut them two ells. + Don't you will not more? + No, at present. + + _For to dine._ + + Go to dine, the dinner is ready. + Cut some bread; here is it, I don't know that boiled meat is good. + Gentilman, will you have some beans? + Peter, uncork a Porto wine bottle. + Sir, what will you to? + Some pears, and apples, what wilt you? + Taste us rather that liquor, it is good for the stomach. + I am too much obliged to you, is done. + + _For to speak french._ + + How is the french? Are you too learned now? + I could to tell some word's that I know by heart. + Not apprehend you, the french language is not difficult. + I know it, and she have great deal of agreeableness. Who I would + be. If I was know it! It must to study for to learn it. How long + there is it what you learn it? It is not yet a month. How is + called your master? + It is called N*** + I know him it is long; he has teached a many of my friends. Don't + he tell you that it must to speak french? + + _For to see the town._ + + Anthony, go to accompany they gentilsmen, do they see the town. + We won't to see all that is it remarquable here. + Admire this master piece gothic architecture's. + The chasing of all they figures is astonishing indeed. + The streets are very layed out by line and too paved. + There is it also hospitals here? + It not fail them. What are then the edifices the worthest to + have seen? + It is the arsnehal, the spectacle's hall, the cusiom-house and + the Purse. + We are going too see the others monuments such that the public + pawnbroker's office, the plants garden's the money office's, + the library. + + _To inform oneself of a person._ + + How is that gentilman who you did speak by and by. + Is a German. + Tongh he is German, he speak so much well italyan, french, Spanish, + and english, that among the Italyans, they believe him Italyan, + he speak the frenche as the Frenches himselves. The Spanishesmen + belie ve him Spanishing, and the Englishes, Englisman. + It is difficult to enjoy well so much several langages. + + _For to ride a horse._ + + Here is a horse who have a bad looks. Give me another; I will + not that. He not sail know to march, he is pursy, he is foundered. + Don't you are ashamed to give me a jade as like? he is undshoed, + he is with nails up; it want to lead to the farrier. + Your pistols are its loads? + No; I forgot to buy gun-powder and balls. Let us prick. Go us more + fast never I was seen a so much bad beast; she will not nor to + bring forward neither put back. + Strek him the bridle, hold him the reins sharters. Pique + stron gly, make to marsh him. + I have pricked him enough. But I can't to make march him. + Go down, I shall make march. + Take care that he not give you a foot kick's. + Then he kicks for that I look? Sook here if I knew to tame hix. + + _With a watch maker._ + + I bring you a watch that want to be ordered. + I had the misfortune to leave fall down the instant where I did + mounted, it must to put again a glass. + I want not a pendulum? I have them here some very good. + Don't you live me her proof againts? I shall not accept that + this condition. + + _For to visit a sick._ + + How have you passed the night? + Very bad. I have not sleeped; I have had the fever during all + night. I fell some pain every where body. + Live me see your tongue. Have you pain to the heart? + Are you altered? + Yes, I have thursty often. + Your stat have nothing from lrouble some. + What I may to eat? + You can take a broth. + Can I to get up my self? + Yes, during a hour or two. + Let me have another thing to do? + Take care to hold you warme ly, and in two or three days you shall + be cured. + + _For to travel._ + + Where you go so? + I am going to Cadiz. + Have you already arrested a coach? + Yes, sir, and very cheap. + There is it some danger on the highway? + It is not spoken that. + They speak not that may have some robbers on the woods? + It have nothing to fear, or in day neither the night. + Don't we does pass for a***? + No, sir, they leave it to left. + Let us take patience, still some o'clock, and we shall be in the + end of our voyage. + + _With a inn keeper._ + + What you give us for to take supper. + Gentlemen, what you will have. + Give us a pigeon couple, a piece of ham and a salad. + What have us expended? + Theaccout mount in little the supper, the bed and the breakfast, + shall get up at thirty franks. + + _From the house-keeping._ + + I don't know more what I won't with they servants. + I tell the same, it is not more some good servants. Any one take + care to sweep neither to make fire at what I may be up. + How the times are changed! Anciently I had some servants who were + divine my thought. The duty was done at the instant, all things + were cleanly hold one may look on the furnitures now as you do + see. It is too different, whole is covered from dust; the + pierglasses side-boards, the pantries, the chests of drawers, the + walls selves, are changed of colours. I do like-it too much. + Believe me, send again whole the people; I take upon my self to + find you some good servants for to succeed them. + Ah! what I shall be oblige to you of it! + + _For the comedy._ + + Were you go to the theatre yesterday? + Yes, sir; I won't to see the new play in which did owed to play + and actress which has not appeared on any theatre. + How you think her? + She has very much grace in the deeds great deal of exactness on + the declamation, a constitution very agreable, and a delightful + voice. + What you say of the comedy? Have her succeded? It was a drama; + it was whistted to the third scene of the last act. + Because that? + It whant the vehicle, and the intrigue it was bad conducted. + So that they won't waited even the upshot? + No, it was divined. + In the mean time them did diliver justice to the players which + generaly have play very well. + At the exception by a one's self, who had land very much hir's + part. + It want to have not any indulgence towards the bat buffoons. + Have you seen already the new tragedy? They + praise her very much. + It is multitude already. + Never I had seen the parlour so full. + This actor he make very well her part. + That piece is full of interest. + It have wondered the spectadors. + The curtains let down. + Go out us. + + _The hunting._ + + There is it some game in this wood? + Another time there was plenty some black beasts and thin game, but + the poachers have killed almost all. + Look a hare who run! let do him to pursue for the hounds! it go + one's self in the ploughed land. + Here that it rouse. Let aim it! let make fire him! + I have put down killed. + Me, I have failed it; my gun have miss fixe. + I see a hind. + Let leave to pass away, don't disturte it. + I have heard that it is plenty pardridges this year. + Have you killed also some thrushes. + Here certainly a very good hunting. + + _The fishing._ + + That pond it seems me many multiplied of fishes. Let us amuse + rather to the fishing. + Here, there is a wand and some hooks. + Silence! there is a superb perch! Give me quick the rod. Ah! + there is, it is a lamprey. You mistake you, it is a frog! dip + again it in the water. + + _With a furniture tradesman._ + + It seems no me new. + Pardon me, it comes workman's hands. + Which hightness want you its? + I want almost four feet six thumbs wide's, over seven of long. + + _For embarking one's self._ + + Don't you fear the privateers! + I jest of them; my vessel is armed in man of war, I have a + vigilant and courageous equipage, and the ammunitions don't want + me its. + Never have you not done wreck? + That it is arrived me twice. + + _With a gardener._ + + Shall I eat some plums soon? + It is not the season yet; but here is some peaches what does ripen + at the eye sight. + It delay me to eat some wal nuts-kernels; take care not leave to + pass the season. + Be tranquil, I shall throw you any nuts during the shell is green + yet. + The artichoks grow its? + I have a particular care of its, because I know you like the + bottoms. + It must to cup the trees. + It should pull the bad grasses up. + + _The books and of the reading._ + + Do you like the reading good deal too many which seem me? + That is to me a amusement. + + _The field._ + + All the fields that you see thither were been neglected; it must I + shall grub up and to plough its. + The ground seems me a little scour with sand and yet it may one + make it bring up; I want be fumed time by time. + + _The writing._ + + Your pens have any notches, and its spit. + How do you like its? will you its are fine or broad? + I won't me also a wafer or some sealing wax and a seal. + In this drawer, there is all that, falding stick, rule, scraper, + saud, etc. + There is the postman I go to put it him again. + + _With a bookseller._ + + What is there in new's litterature? + Little or almost nothing, it not appears any thing of note. + And yet one imprint many deal. + But why, you and another book seller, you does not to imprint some + good wooks? + There is a reason for that, it is that you cannot to sell its. The + actual-liking of the public is depraved they does not read who + for to amuse one's self ant but to instruct one's. + But the letter's men who cultivate the arts and the sciences they + can't to pass without the books. + A little learneds are happies enough for to may to satisfy their + fancies on the literature. + Have you found the Buff on who I had call for? + I have only been able to procure the octodecimo edition, which is + embellished with plates beautifully coloured. + + _With a dentist._ + + I have the teetht-ache. + Is it a fluxion, or have you a bad tooth? + I think that is a bad tooth; please you to examine my mouth? + You have a bad tooth; will you pull out this tooth? + I can't to decide me it, that make me many great deal pain. + Your tooth is absolutely roted; if you leave it; shall spoil the + others. + In such case draw it. + I shall you neat also your mouth, and you could care entertain it + clean, for to preserve the mamel of the teeth; I could give you + a opiate for to strengthen the gums. + I thank you; I prefer the only means, which is to rinse the mouth + with some water, or a little brandy. + + _With a laundress._ + + Who lhat be too washed, too many soaped, and the shirts put through + the buck. You may be sure; never I do else. + + _For to swim._ + + I row upon the belly on the back and between two waters. + I am not so dexte rous that you. + Nothing is more easy than to swim; it do not what don't to be + afraid of. + + _The french language._ + + Do you study? + Yes, sir, I attempts to translate of french by portuguese. + Do you know already the principal grammars rules? + I am appleed my self at to learn its by heart. + Do speak french alwais? + Some times: though I flay it yet. + You jest, you does express you self very well. + + *** + + Familiar Letters. + + _Racine to M. Fitart._ + +My uncle what will to treat her beshop in a great sumptuouness, he +was go Avignon for to buy what one not should find there, and he had +leave me the charge to provide all things. I have excellent business, +as you see, and I know some thing more than to eat my soup, since I +know do to prepare it. I did learn that it must give to the first, to +second, and to the third service, by dishes that want to join, and +yet some thing more; because we does pretend make a feast at four +services without to account the dessert. Good bye, my dear sir, etc. + + _Mothe to the duchess of the Maine._ + +My lady, I have a complaint to present you. So much happy that might +be one's self, one have not all theirs eases in this world. Your +letters are shortest. You have plaied wonderfully all sentiments; +less her prattle, etc. + + _Montesquieu to the abbot Nicolini._ + +Allow me, my dear abbot, who I remind me of your friendship. I +recommend you M. of the Condamine. I shall tell you nothing, else he +is a of my friends. Her great celebrity may tell you from others +things, and her presence will say you the remains. My dear abbot, I +will love you even the death. + + *** + + Anecdotes. + +Guttler, a very rich man too many avaricious, commonly he was travel +at a horse, and single for to avoid all expenses. In the evening at +to arrive at the inn did feign to be indispose, to the end that one +bring him the supper. He did ordered to the stable knave to bring in +their room some straw, for to put in their boots he made to warm her +bed and was go lo sleep. When the servant was draw again, he come up + again, and with the straw of their boots, and the candle Avhat was +leave him he made a small fire where he was roast a herring what he +did keep of her pocket. He was always the precaution one to provide +him self of a small of bread and one bring up a water bottle, and +thus with a little money. + + ** + +A blind did hide five hundred crowns in a corner of their garden; but +a neighbour, which was perceive it, did dig up and took its. The +blind not finding more her money, was suspect that might be the +robed, but one work for take again it? He was going find the + neighbour, and told him that he came to get him a council; than he +was a thousand crowns which the half was hided into a sure part and I +don't know if want, if to put the remains to the same part. The +neighbour was council him so and was hasten to carry back that sum, +in the hope soon to draw out a thousand. But the blind having finded +the money, was seized it, having called her neighbour, he told him: +"Gossip, the blind saw clearer than this that may have two eyes." + + ** + +A man one's was presented at a magistrate which had a considerable +library. "What you make?" beg him the magistrate. "I do some books," + he was answered. "But any of your books I did not seen its.--I +believe it so, was answered the author; I mak nothing for Paris. From +a of my works is imprinted, I send the edition for America; I don't +compose what to colonies." + + ** + +One eyed was laied against a man which had good eyes that he saw +better than him. The party was accepted. "I had gain, over said the +one eyed; why I see you two eyes, and you not look me who one." + + ** + +A english lord was in their bed tormented, cruelly of the gout, when +was announced him a pretended physician, which had a remedy sure +against that illness. "That doctor came in coach or on foot?" was +request the lord. "On foot," was answered him the servant. "Well, was +replied the sick, go tell to the knave what go back one's self, +because if he was the remedy, which he exalt him self, he should roll +a coach at six horses, and I would be send for him my self and to +offer him the half part of my lands for to be delivered of my +sickness." + + ** + +A duchess accused of magic being interrogated for a commissary +extremely unhandsome, this was beg him selve one she had look the +devil. "Yes, sir, I did see him, was answer the duchess, and he was +like you as two water's drops." + + ** + +A Lady, which was to dine, chid to her servant that she not had used +butter enough. This girl, for to excuse him selve, was bing a little +cat on the hand, and told that she came to take him in the crime, +finishing to eat the two pounds from butter who remain. The Lady took +immediately the cat, was put into the balances it had not weighted +that one an half pound. + + ** + +A countryman which came through to Paris upon the bridge to the +change, not had perceived merchandises in several shops. The +curiosity take him, he come near of a exchange desk:--"Sir, had he +beg from a look simple, tell me what you sell." The loader though +that he may to divert of the personage:--"I sell, was answered him +asse's heads."--"Indeed, reply to him the countryman, you make of it +a great sale, because it not remains more but one in your shop." + + ** + +The commander Forbin of Janson, being at a repast with a celebrated +Boileau, had undertaken to pun him upon her name:--"What name, told +him, carry you thither? Boileau: I would wish better to call me +Drink wine." The poet was answered him in the same tune:--"And you, +sir, what name have you choice? Janson: I should prefer to be named +John-Meal. The meal don't is valuable better than the furfur?" + + ** + +A physician eighty years of age had enjoicd of a health unalterable. +Theirs friends did him of it compliments every days: "Mister doctor, +they said to him, you are admirable man. What you make then for to +bear you as well?--I shall tell you it, gentlemen he was answered +them, and I exhort you in same time at to follow my exemple. I live +of the product of my ordering without take any remedy who I command +to my sicks." + + ** + +A countryman was confessed to the parson to have robbed a mutton at a +farmer of her neighbourhood. "My friend, told him the confessor, it +must to return, or you shall not have the absolution.--But repply the +villager, I had eated him.--So much worse, told him the pastor; you +vill be the devil sharing; because in the wide vale where me ought to +appear we before God every one shall spoken against you, even the +mutton. How! repply the countryman, the mutton will find in that +part? I am very glad of that; then the restitution shall be easy, +since I shall not have to tell to the farmer: "Neighbour take your +mutton again." + + ** + +Plato walking one's self a day to the field with some of their +friends. They were to see him Diogenes who was in to water untill the +chin. The superficies of the water was snowed, for the reserve of the +hole that Diogenes was made. "Don't look it more told them Plato, and +he shall get out soon." + + ** + +A day came a man consult this philosopher for to know at o'clock it +was owe to eat. If thou art rich, told him eat when you shall wish; +if you are poor, when you may do. + + ** + +At the middle of a night very dark, a blind was walk in the streets +with a light on the hand and a full jar upon the back. Some one which +ran do meet him, and surprised of that light: "Simple that you are, +told him, what serve you this light? The night and the day are not +them the same thing by you!--It is not for me, was answering the +blind, that I bring this light, it is to the and that the giddie +swhich seem to you do not come to run against me, and make to break +my jar." + + *** + + Idiotisms and Proverbs. + + ** + + The necessity don't know the low. + Few, few the bird make her nest. + He is not valuable to breat that he eat. + Its are some blu stories. + Nothing some money, nothing of Swiss. + He sin in trouble water. + A bad arrangement is better than a process. + He has a good beak. + In the country of blinds, the one eyed men are kings. + To build castles in Espagnish. + Cat scalded fear the cold water. + To do the fine spirit. + With a tongue one go to Roma. + There is not any rnler without a exception. + Take out the live coals with the hand of the cat. + A horse baared don't look him the tooth. + Take the occasion for the hairs. + To do a wink to some body. + So many go the jar to spring, than at last rest there. + He eat untill to can't more. + Which like Bertram, love hir dog. + It want to beat the iron during it is hot. + He is not so devil as he is black. + It is better be single as a bad company. + The stone as roll not heap up not foam. + They shurt him the doar in face. + He has fond the knuckle of the business. + He turns as a weath turcocl. + There is not better sauce who the appetite. + The pains come at horse and turn one's self at foot. + He is beggar as a church rat. + So much go the jar to spring that at last it break there. + To force to forge, becomes smith. + Keep the chestnut of the fire with the cat foot. + Friendship of a child is water into a basket. + At some thing the misforte is good. + Burn the politeness. + Tell me whom thou frequent, I will tell you which you are. + After the paunch comes the dance. + Of the hand to mouth, one lose often the soup. + To look for a needle in a hay bundle. + To craunch the marmoset. + To buy cat in pocket. + To be as a fish into the water. + To make paps for the cats. + To fatten the foot. + To come back at their muttons. + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of English as she is spoke, by +José da Fonseca and Pedro Carolino + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 30411 *** |