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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Lost Kafoozalum, by Pauline Ashwell
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Lost Kafoozalum
+
+Author: Pauline Ashwell
+
+Illustrator: Schoenherr
+
+Release Date: November 8, 2009 [EBook #30427]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LOST KAFOOZALUM ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Sankar Viswanathan, Greg Weeks, and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ Transcriber's Note:
+
+ This etext was produced from Analog Science Fact & Fiction October 1960.
+ Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright
+ on this publication was renewed.
+
+
+
+ THE LOST KAFOOZALUM
+
+
+ by PAULINE ASHWELL
+
+
+ Illustrated by Schoenherr
+
+
+
+ _One of the beautiful things about a delusion is that no
+ matter how mad someone gets at it ... he can't do it any
+ harm. Therefore a delusion can be a fine thing for prodding
+ angry belligerents...._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+I remember some bad times, most of them back home on Excenus 23; the
+worst was when Dad fell under the reaping machine but there was also
+the one when I got lost twenty miles from home with a dud radio, at
+the age of twelve; and the one when Uncle Charlie caught me practicing
+emergency turns in a helicar round the main weather-maker; and the one
+on Figuerra being chased by a cyber-crane; and the time when Dad
+decided to send me to Earth to do my Education.
+
+This time is bad in a different way, with no sharp edges but a kind of
+a desolation.
+
+Most people I know are feeling bad just now, because at Russett
+College we finished our Final Examination five days ago and Results
+are not due for a two weeks.
+
+My friend B Laydon says this is yet another Test anyone still sane at
+the end being proved tough enough to break a molar on; she says also
+The worst part is in bed remembering all the things she could have
+written and did not; The second worst is also in bed picturing how to
+explain to her parents when they get back to Earth that _someone_ has
+to come bottom and in a group as brilliant as Russett College Cultural
+Engineering Class this is really no disgrace.
+
+I am not worried that way so much, I cannot remember what I wrote
+anyway and I can think of one or two people I am pretty sure will come
+bottomer than me--or B either.
+
+I would prefer to think it is just Finals cause me to feel miserable
+but it is not.
+
+In Psychology they taught us The mind has the faculty of concealing
+any motive it is ashamed of, especially from itself; seems
+unfortunately mine does not have this gadget supplied.
+
+I never wanted to come to Earth. I was sent to Russett against my will
+and counting the days till I could get back to Home, Father and
+Excensus 23, but the sad truth is that now the longed-for moment is
+nearly on top of me I do not want to go.
+
+Dad's farm was a fine place to grow up, but now I had four years on
+Earth the thought of going back there makes me feel like a
+three-weeks' chicken got to get back in its shell.
+
+B and I are on an island in the Pacific. Her parents are on Caratacus
+researching on local art forms, so she and I came here to be miserable
+in company and away from the rest.
+
+It took me years on Earth to get used to all this water around, it
+seemed unnatural and dangerous to have it all lying loose that way,
+but now I shall miss even the Sea.
+
+The reason we have this long suspense over Finals is that they will
+not use Reading Machines to mark the papers for fear of cutting down
+critical judgement; so each paper has to be read word by word by three
+Examiners and there are forty-three of us and we wrote six papers
+each.
+
+What I think is I am sorry for the Examiners, but B says they were the
+ones who set the papers and it serves them perfectly right.
+
+I express surprise because D. J. M'Clare our Professor is one of them,
+but B says He is one of the greatest men in the galaxy, of course, but
+she gave up thinking him perfect _years_ ago.
+
+One of the main attractions on this Island is swimming under water,
+especially by moonlight. Dad sent me a fish-boat as a birthday present
+two years back, but I never used it yet on account of my
+above-mentioned attitude to water. Now I got this feeling of Carpe
+Diem, make the most of Earth while I am on it because probably I shall
+not pass this way again.
+
+The fourth day on the Island it is full moon at ten o'clock, so I
+pluck up courage to wriggle into the boat and go out under the Sea. B
+says Fish parading in and out of reefs just remind her of Cultural
+Engineering--crowd behavior--so she prefers to turn in early and find
+out what nightmares her subconscious will throw up _this_ time.
+
+The reefs by moonlight are everything they are supposed to be, why did
+I not do this often when I had the chance? I stay till my oxygen is
+nearly gone, then come out and sadly press the button that collapses
+the boat into a thirty-pound package of plastic hoops and oxygen cans.
+I sling it on my back and head for the chalet B and I hired among the
+coconut trees.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I am crossing an open space maybe fifty yards from it when a Thing
+drops on me out of the air.
+
+I do not see the Thing because part of it covers my face, and the rest
+is grabbed round my arms and my waist and my hips and whatever, I
+cannot see and I cannot scream and I cannot find anything to kick. The
+Thing is strong and rubbery and many-armed and warmish, and less than
+a second after I first feel it I am being hauled up into the air.
+
+I do not care for this at all.
+
+I am at least fifty feet up before it occurs to me to bite the hand
+that gags me and then I discover it is plastic, not alive at all. Then
+I feel self and encumberance scraping through some kind of aperture;
+there is a sharp click as of a door closing and the Thing goes limp
+all round me.
+
+I spit out the bit I am biting and it drops away so that I can see.
+
+Well!
+
+I am in a kind of a cup-shaped space maybe ten feet across but not
+higher than I am; there is a trap door in the ceiling; the Thing is
+lying all around me in a mess of plastic arms, with an extensible
+stalk connecting it to the wall. I kick free and it turns over
+exposing the label FRAGILE CARGO right across the back.
+
+The next thing I notice is two holdalls, B's and mine, clamped against
+the wall, and the next after that is the opening of a trap door in the
+ceiling and B's head silhouetted in it remarking Oh there you are Liz.
+
+I confirm this statement and ask for explanations.
+
+B says She doesn't understand all of it but it is all right.
+
+It is not all right I reply, if she has joined some Society such as
+for the Realization of Fictitious Improbabilities that is her
+privilege but no reason to involve me.
+
+B says Why do I not stop talking and come up and see for myself?
+
+There is a slight hitch when I jam in the trap door, then B helps me
+get the boat off my back and I drop it on the Fragile Cargo and emerge
+into the cabin of a Hopper, drop-shaped, cargo-carrying; I have been
+in its hold till now.
+
+There are one or two peculiar points about it, or maybe one or two
+hundred, such as the rate at which we are ascending which seems to be
+bringing us right into the Stratosphere; but the main thing I notice
+is the pilot. He has his back to us but is recognizably Ram Gopal who
+graduated in Cultural Engineering last year, Rumor says next to top of
+his class.
+
+I ask him what kind of a melodramatic shenanigan is this?
+
+B says We had to leave quietly in a hurry without attracting attention
+so she booked us out at the Hotel _hours_ ago and she and Ram have
+been hanging around waiting for me ever since.
+
+I point out that the scope-trace of an Unidentified Flying Object will
+occasion a lot more remark than a normal departure even at midnight.
+
+At this Ram smiles in an inscrutable Oriental manner and B gets nearly
+as cross as I do, seems she has mentioned this point before.
+
+We have not gone into it properly when the cabin suddenly shifts
+through a right angle. B and I go sliding down the vertical floor and
+end sitting on a window. There is a jolt and a shudder and Ram mutters
+things in Hindi and then suddenly Up is nowhere at all.
+
+B and I scramble off the window and grab fixtures so as to stay put.
+The stars have gone and we can see nothing except the dim glow over
+the instruments; then suddenly lights go on outside.
+
+We look out into the hold of a ship.
+
+Our ten-foot teardrop is sitting next to another one, like two eggs
+in a rack. On the other side is a bulkhead; behind, the curve of the
+hull; and directly ahead an empty space, then another bulkhead and an
+open door, through which after a few seconds a head pokes cautiously.
+
+The head is then followed by a body which kicks off against the wall
+and sails slowly towards us. Ram presses a stud and a door slides open
+in the hopper; but the new arrival stops himself with a hand on either
+side of the frame, his legs trailing any old how behind him. It is
+Peter Yeng Sen who graduated the year I did my Field Work.
+
+He says, Gopal, dear fellow, there was no need for the knocking, we
+heard the bell all right.
+
+Ram grumbles something about the guide beam being miss-set, and slides
+out of his chair. Peter announces that we have only just made it as
+the deadline is in seven minutes time; he waves B and me out of the
+hopper, through the door and into a corridor where a certain irregular
+vibration is coming from the walls.
+
+Ram asks what is that tapping? And Peter sighs and says The present
+generation of students has no discipline at all.
+
+At this B brakes with one hand against the wall and cocks her head to
+listen; next moment she laughs and starts banging with her fist on the
+wall.
+
+Peter exclaims in Mandarin and tows her away by one wrist like a
+reluctant kite. The rapping starts again on the far side of the wall
+and I suddenly recognize a primitive signaling system called Regret
+or something, I guess because it was used by people in situations they
+did not like such as Sinking ships or solitary confinement; it is done
+by tapping water pipes and such.
+
+Someone found it in a book and the more childish element in College
+learned it up for signaling during compulsory lectures. Interest
+waning abruptly when the lecturers started to learn it, too.
+
+I never paid much attention not expecting to be in Solitary
+confinement much; this just shows you; next moment Ram opens a door
+and pushes me through it, the door clicks behind me and Solitary
+confinement is what I am in.
+
+I remember this code is really called Remorse which is what I feel for
+not learning when I had the chance.
+
+However I do not have long for it, a speaker in the wall requests
+everyone to lie down as acceleration is about to begin. I strap down
+on the couch which fills half the compartment, countdown begins and at
+zero the floor is suddenly _down_ once more.
+
+I wait till my stomach settles, then rise to explore.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I am in an oblong room about eight by twelve, it looks as though it
+had been hastily partitioned off from a larger space. The walls are
+prefab plastic sheet, the rest is standard fittings slung in and
+bolted down with the fastenings showing.
+
+How many of my classmates are on this ship? _Remorse_ again as
+tapping starts on either side of me.
+
+Discarding such Hypotheses as that Ram and Peter are going to hold us
+to ransom--which might work for me, since my Dad somehow got to be a
+millionaire, but not for B because her parents think money is
+vulgar--or that we are being carried off to found an ideal Colony
+somewhere--any first-year student can tell you why that won't
+work--only one idea seems plausible.
+
+This is that Finals were not final and we are in for a Test of some
+sort.
+
+After ten minutes I get some evidence; a Reading Machine is trundled
+in, the door immediately slamming shut so I do not see who trundles
+it.
+
+I prowl round it looking for tricks but it seems standard; I take a
+seat in it, put on the headset and turn the switch.
+
+Hypothesis confirmed, I suppose.
+
+There is a reel in place and it contains background information on a
+problem in Cultural Engineering all set out the way we are taught to
+do it in Class. The Problem concerns developments on a planet got
+settled by two groups during the Exodus and been isolated ever since.
+
+Well while a Reading Machine is running there is no time to think, it
+crams in data at full speed and evaluation has to wait. However my
+subconscious goes into action and when the reel stops it produces a
+Suspicion full grown.
+
+The thing is too tidy.
+
+When we were First Year we dreamed up situations like this and argued
+like mad over them, but they were a lot too neat for real life and too
+dramatic as well.
+
+However one thing M'Clare said to us, and every other lecturer too,
+just before the Finals, was Do not spend time trying to figure what
+the examiner was after but answer the question as set; I am more than
+halfway decided this is some mysterious Oriental idea of a joke but I
+get busy thinking in case it is not.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+The Problem goes like this:
+
+The planet is called Incognita in the reel and it is right on the edge
+of the known volume of space, it got settled by two groups somewhere
+between three and three and a half centuries ago. The rest of the
+human race never heard of it till maybe three years back.
+
+(Well it happens that way, inhabited planets are still turning up
+eight or ten a century, on account of during the Exodus some folk were
+willing to travel a year or more so as to get away from the rest).
+
+The ship that spotted the planet as inhabited did not land, but
+reported to Central Government, Earth, who shipped observers out to
+take a look.
+
+(There was a rumor circulating at Russett that the Terry Government
+might employ some of us on that kind of job, but it never got
+official. I do not know whether to believe this bit or not.)
+
+It is stated the observers landed secretly and mingled with the
+natives unobserved.
+
+(This is not physically impossible but sounds too like a Field Trip to
+be true.)
+
+The observers are not named but stated to be graduates of the Cultural
+Engineering Class.
+
+They put in a few months' work and sent home unanimous Crash Priority
+reports the situation is _bad_, getting worse and the prognosis is
+War.
+
+Brother.
+
+I know people had wars, I know one reason we do not have them now is
+just that with so many planets and cheap transportation, pressure has
+other outlets; these people scrapped their ships for factories and
+never built more.
+
+But.
+
+There are only about ten million of them and surely to goodness a
+whole planet gives room enough to keep out of each other's hair?
+
+Well this is not Reasoning but a Reaction, I go back to the data for
+another look.
+
+The root trouble is stated to be that two groups landed on the planet
+without knowing the others were there, when they met thirty years
+later they got a disagreeable shock.
+
+I cannot see there was any basic difference between them, they were
+very similar, especially in that neither lot wanted anything to do
+with people they had not picked themselves.
+
+So they divided the planet along a Great Circle which left two of the
+main land-masses in one hemisphere and two in another.
+
+They agree each to keep to its own section and leave the other alone.
+
+Twenty years later, trading like mad; each has certain minerals the
+other lacks; each has certain agricultural products the other finds it
+difficult to grow.
+
+You think this leads to Co-operation Friendship and ultimate
+Federation?
+
+I will not go into the incidents that make each side feel it is being
+gypped, it is enough that from time to time each has a scarcity or
+hold-up on deliveries that upsets the other's economy; and they start
+experimenting to become self-sufficient: and the exporter's economy is
+upset in turn. And each thinks the other did it on purpose.
+
+This sort of situation reacts internally leading to Politics.
+
+There are troubles about a medium-sized island on the dividing line,
+and the profits from interhemispherical transport, and the laws of
+interhemispherical trade.
+
+It takes maybe two hundred years, but finally each has expanded the
+Police into an army with a whole spectrum of weapons not to be used on
+any account except for Defense.
+
+This situation lasts seventy years getting worse all the time, now
+Rumors have started on each side that the other is developing an
+Ultimate Weapon, and the political parties not in power are agitating
+to move first before the thing is complete.
+
+The observers report War not maybe this year or the next but within
+ten, and if neither side was looking for an Ultimate Weapon to begin
+with they certainly are now.
+
+Taking all this at face value there seems an obvious solution.
+
+I am thinking this over in an academic sort of way when an itchy
+trickle of sweat starts down my vertebrae.
+
+Who is going to apply this solution? Because if this is anything but
+another Test, or the output of a diseased sense of humor, I would be
+sorry for somebody.
+
+I dial black coffee on the wall servitor and wish B were here so we
+could prove to each other the thing is just an exercise; I do not do
+so well at spotting proofs on my own.
+
+Most of our class exercises have concerned something that happened,
+once.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+After about ninety minutes the speaker requests me to write not more
+than one thousand words on any scheme to improve the situation and the
+equipment required for it.
+
+I spent ten minutes verbalizing the basic idea and an hour or so on
+"equipment"; the longer I go on the more unlikely it all seems. In the
+end I have maybe two hundred words which acting on instructions I post
+through a slit in the door.
+
+Five minutes later I realize I have forgotten the Time Factor.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+If the original ship took a year to reach Incognita, it will take at
+least four months now; therefore it is more than four months since
+that report was written and will be more than a year before anyone
+arrives and War may have started already.
+
+I sit back and by transition of ideas start to wonder where this ship
+is heading? We are still at one gee and even on Mass-Time you cannot
+juggle apparent acceleration and spatial transition outside certain
+limits; we are not just orbiting but must be well outside the Solar
+System by now.
+
+The speaker announces Everyone will now get some rest; I smell
+sleep-gas for one moment and have just time to lie down.
+
+I guess I was tired, at that.
+
+When I wake I feel more cheerful than I have for weeks; analysis
+indicates I am glad something is _happening_ even if it is another
+Exam.
+
+I dial breakfast but am too restless to eat; I wonder how long this
+goes on or whether I am supposed to show Initiative and break out; I
+am examining things with this in mind when the speaker comes to life
+again.
+
+It says, "Ladies and gentlemen. You have not been told whether the
+problem that you studied yesterday concerned a real situation or an
+imaginary one. You have all outlined measures which you think would
+improve the situation described. Please consider, seriously, whether
+you would be prepared to take part yourself in the application of your
+plan."
+
+Brother.
+
+There is no way to tell whether those who say No will be counted
+cowardly or those who say Yes rash idiots or what, the owner of that
+voice has his inflections too well trained to give anything away
+except intentionally.
+
+D. J. M'Clare.
+
+Not in person but a recording, anyway M'Clare is on Earth surrounded
+by exam papers.
+
+I sit back and try to think, honestly, if that crack-brained notion I
+wrote out last night were going to be tried in dead earnest, would I
+take a hand in it?
+
+The trouble is, hearing M'Clare's voice has convinced me it is a Test,
+I don't know whether it is testing my courage or my prudence in fact I
+might as well toss for it.
+
+Heads I am crazy, Tails a defaulter; Tails is what it is.
+
+I seize my styler and write the decision down.
+
+There is the slit in the door.
+
+I twiddle the note and think Well nobody asked for it yet.
+
+Suppose it is real, after all?
+
+I remember the itchy, sweaty feeling I got yesterday and try to
+picture really embarking on a thing like this, but I cannot work up
+any lather today.
+
+I begin to picture M'Clare reading my decision not to back up my own
+idea.
+
+I pick up the coin and juggle it around.
+
+The speaker remarks When I am quite ready will I please make a note
+of my decision and post it through the door.
+
+I go on flipping the coin up and presently it drops on the floor, it
+is Heads this time.
+
+Tossing coins is a pretty feeble way to decide.
+
+I drop the note on the floor and take another sheet and write "YES.
+Lysistrata Lee."
+
+Using that name seems to make it more legal.
+
+I slip the paper in the slit and poke till it falls through on the
+other side of the door.
+
+I am suddenly immensely hungry and dial breakfast all over again.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Just as I finish M'Clare's voice starts once more.
+
+"It's always the minor matters that cause the most difficulty. The
+timing of this announcement has cost me as much thought as any aspect
+of the arrangements. The trouble is that however honest you are--and
+your honesty has been tested repeatedly--and however strong your
+imagination--about half of your training has been devoted to
+developing it--you can't possibly be sure, answering a hypothetical
+question, that you are giving the answer you would choose if you knew
+it was asked in dead earnest.
+
+"Those of you who answered the question in the negative are out of
+this. They have been told that it was a test, of an experimental
+nature, and have been asked to keep the whole thing a secret. They
+will be returning to Earth in a few hours' time. I ask the rest of
+you to think it over once again. Your decision is still private. Only
+the two people who gathered you together know which members of the
+class are in this ship. The list of possible helpers was compiled by a
+computer. I haven't seen it myself.
+
+"You have a further half hour in which to make up your minds finally.
+Please remember that if you have any private reservations on the
+matter, or if you are secretly afraid, you may endanger us all. You
+all know enough psychology to realize this.
+
+"If you still decide in favor of the project, write your name on a
+slip of paper and post it as before. If you are not absolutely certain
+about it, do nothing. Please think it over for half an hour."
+
+Me, I had enough thinking. I write my name--just L. Lee--and post it
+straight away.
+
+However I cannot stop thinking altogether. I guess I think very hard,
+in fact. My Subconscious insists afterwards that it did register the
+plop as something came through the slit, but my Conscious failed to
+notice it at all.
+
+Hours later--my watch says twenty-five minutes but I guess the
+Mass-Time has affected it--anyway I had three times too much solitary
+confinement--when will they let me out of here?--there is a knock at
+the door and a second later it slides apart.
+
+I am expecting Ram or Peter so it takes me an appreciable fraction of
+a moment to realize I am seeing D. J. M'Clare.
+
+Then I remember he is back on Earth buried in Exam papers and
+conclude I am having a hallucination.
+
+This figment of my imagination says politely, "Do you mind if I sit
+down?"
+
+He collapses on the couch as though thoroughly glad of it.
+
+It is a strange thing, every time I see M'Clare I am startled all over
+again at how good-looking he is; seems I forget it between times which
+is maybe why I never fell for him as most female students do.
+
+However what strikes me this time is that he looks tired,
+three-days-sleepless tired with worries on top.
+
+I guess he is real, at that.
+
+He says, "Don't look so accusing, Lizzie, I only just got on this ship
+myself."
+
+This does not make sense; you cannot just arrive on a ship twenty-four
+hours after it goes on Mass-Time; or can you?
+
+M'Clare leans back and closes his eyes and inquires whether I am one
+of the Morse enthusiasts?
+
+So that is the name; I say when we get back I will learn it first
+thing.
+
+"Well," says he, "I did my best to arrange privacy for all of you;
+with so many ingenious idiots on board I'm not really surprised that
+they managed to circumvent me. I had to cheat and check that you
+really were on the list; and I knew that whoever backed out you'd
+still be on board."
+
+So I should hope he might: Horrors there is my first answer screwed
+up on the floor and Writing side top-most.
+
+However he has not noticed it, he goes on "Anyway you of all people
+won't be thought to have dropped out because you were afraid."
+
+I have just managed to hook my heel over the note and get it out of
+sight, M'Clare has paused for an answer and I have to dredge my
+Sub-threshold memories for--
+
+WHAT?
+
+ * * * * *
+
+M'Clare opens his eyes and says like I am enacting Last Straw, "Have
+some sense, Lizzie." Then in a different tone, "Ram says he gave you
+the letter half an hour ago."
+
+What letter?
+
+My brain suddenly registers a small pale patch been occupying a corner
+of my retina for the last half hour; it turns out to be a letter
+postmarked Excenus 23.
+
+I disembowel it with one jerk. It is from my Dad and runs like this:
+
+ My dear Liz,
+
+ Thank you for your last letter, glad you are keeping fit and
+ so am I.
+
+ I just got a letter from your College saying you will get a
+ degree conferred on you on September 12th and parents if on
+ Earth will be welcome.
+
+ Well Liz this I got to see and Charlie says the same, but
+ the letter says too Terran Authority will not give a permit
+ to visit Earth just for this, so I wangled on to a
+ Delegation which is coming to discuss trade with the
+ Department of Commerce. Charlie and I will be arriving on
+ Earth on August 24th.
+
+ Liz it is good to think I shall be seeing you again after
+ four years. There are some things about your future I meant
+ to write to Professor M'Clare about, but now I shall be able
+ to talk it over direct. Please give him my regards.
+
+ Be seeing you Lizzie girl, your affectionate Dad
+
+ J. X. Lee.
+
+Dear old Dad, after all these years farming with a weather-maker on a
+drydust planet I want to see his face the first time he sees real
+rain.
+
+Hell's fires and shades of darkness, I shan't be there!
+
+M'Clare says, "Your father wrote to me saying that he will be arriving
+on Earth on 24th August. I take it your letter says the same. I came
+on a dispatch boat; you can go back on it."
+
+_Now_ what is he talking about? Then I get the drift.
+
+I say, "Look. So Dad will be on Earth before we get back. What
+difference does that make?"
+
+"You can't let him arrive and find you missing."
+
+Well I admit to a qualm at the thought of Dad let loose on Earth
+without me, but after all Uncle Charlie is a born Terrie and can keep
+him in line; Hell he is old enough to look after himself anyway.
+
+"You met my Dad," I point out. "You think J. X. Lee would want any
+daughter of his backing out on a job so as to hold his hand? I can
+send him a letter saying I am off on a job or a Test or whatever I
+please and hold everything till I get back; what are you doing about
+people's families on Earth already?"
+
+M'Clare says we were all selected as having families not on Earth at
+present, and I must go back.
+
+I say like Hell I will.
+
+He says he is my official guardian and responsible for me.
+
+I say he is just as responsible for everyone else on this ship.
+
+I spent years and years trying to think up a remark would really get
+home to M'Clare; well I have done it now.
+
+I say, "Look. You are tired and worried and maybe not thinking so well
+just now.
+
+"I know this is a very risky job, don't think I missed that at all. I
+tried hard to imagine it like you said over the speaker. I cannot
+quite imagine dying but I know how Dad will feel if I do.
+
+"I did my level best to scare myself sick, then I decided it is just
+plain worth the risk anyway.
+
+"To work out a thing like this you have to have a kind of arithmetic,
+you add in everybody's feelings with the other factors, then if you
+get a plus answer you forget everything else and go right ahead.
+
+"I am not going to think about it any more, because I added up the sum
+and got the answer and upsetting my nerves won't help. I guess you
+worked out the sum, too. You decided four million people were worth
+risking twenty, even if they do have parents. Even if they are your
+students. So they are, too, and you gave us all a chance to say No.
+
+"Well nothing has altered that, only now the values look different to
+you because you are tired and worried and probably missed breakfast,
+too."
+
+Brother some speech, I wonder what got into me? M'Clare is wondering,
+too, or maybe gone to sleep sitting, it is some time before he answers
+me.
+
+"Miss Lee, you are deplorably right on one thing at least. I don't
+know whether I was fit to make such a decision when I made it, but I'm
+not fit now. As far as you personally are concerned...." He trails off
+looking tireder than ever, then picks up again suddenly. "You are
+again quite right, I am every bit as responsible for the other people
+on board as I am for you."
+
+He climbs slowly to his feet and walks out without another word.
+
+The door is left open and I take this as an invitation to freedom and
+shoot through in case it was a mistake.
+
+No because Ram is opening doors all along the corridor and ten of
+Russett's brightest come pouring out like mercury finding its own
+level and coalesce in the middle of the floor.
+
+The effect of release is such that after four minutes Peter Yeng Sen's
+head appears at the top of a stairway and he says the crew is lifting
+the deck plates, will we for Time's sake go along to the Conference
+Room which is soundproof.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+The Conference Room is on the next deck and like our cabins shows
+signs of hasty construction; the soundproofing is there but the
+acoustics are kind of muffled and the generator is not boxed in but
+has cables trailing all over, and the fastenings have a strong but
+temporary look.
+
+Otherwise there is a big table and a lot of chairs and a small
+projection box in front of each with a note-taker beside.
+
+It is maybe this very functional setup or maybe the dead flatness of
+our voices in the damped room, but we do not have so much to talk
+about any more. We automatically take places at the table, all at one
+end, leaving seven vacant chairs near the door.
+
+Looking round, I wonder what principle we were selected on.
+
+Of my special friends Eru Te Whangoa and Kirsty Lammergaw are present
+but Lily Chen and Likofo Komom'baratse and Jean LeBrun are not; we
+have Cray Patterson who is one of my special enemies but not Blazer
+Weigh or the Astral Cad; the rest are P. Zapotec, Nick Howard, Aro
+Mestah, Dillie Dixie, Pavel Christianovitch, Lennie DiMaggio and
+Shootright Crow.
+
+Eru is at the end of the table, opposite the door, and maybe feels
+this position puts it up to him to start the discussion; he opens by
+remarking "So nobody took the opportunity to withdraw."
+
+Cray Patterson lifts his eyebrows ceilingwards and drawls out that the
+decision was supposed to be a private one.
+
+B says "Maybe but it did not work out that way, everyone who learned
+Morse knows who was on the ship, anyway they are all still here so
+what does it matter? And M'Clare would not have picked people who were
+going to funk it, after all."
+
+My chair gets a kick on the ankle which I suppose was meant for B; Eru
+is six foot five but even his legs do not quite reach; he is the only
+one of us facing the door.
+
+M'Clare has somehow shed his weariness; he looks stern but fresh as a
+daisy. There are four with him; Ram and Peter looking serious, one
+stranger in Evercleans looking determined to enjoy the party and
+another in uniform looking as though nothing would make him.
+
+M'Clare introduces the strangers as Colonel Delano-Smith and Mr.
+Yardo. They all sit down at the other end of the table; then he frowns
+at us and begins like this:
+
+"Miss Laydon is mistaken. You were not selected on any such grounds as
+she suggests. I may say that I was astonished at the readiness with
+which you all engaged yourselves to take part in such a desperate
+gamble; and, seeing that for the last four years I have been trying to
+persuade you that it is worth while, before making a decision of any
+importance, to spend a certain amount of thought on it, I was
+discouraged as well."
+
+Oh.
+
+"The criterion upon which you were selected was a very simple one. As
+I told you, you were picked not by me but by a computer; the one in
+the College Office which registers such information as your home
+addresses and present whereabouts. You are simply that section of the
+class which could be picked up without attracting attention, because
+you all happened to be on holiday by yourselves or with other members
+of the class; and because your nearest relatives are not on Earth at
+present."
+
+Oh, well.
+
+All of us can see M'Clare is doing a job of deflation on us for
+reasons of his own, but it works for all that.
+
+He now seems to feel the job is complete and relaxes a bit.
+
+"I was interested to see that you all, without exception, hit on
+variations of the same idea. It is of course the obvious way to deal
+with the problem." He smiles at us suddenly and I get mad at myself
+because I know he is following the rules for introducing a desired
+state of mind, but I am responding as meant. "I'll read you the most
+succinct expression of it; you may be able to guess the author."
+
+Business with bits of paper.
+
+"Here it is. I quote: 'Drag in some outsider looks like he is going
+for both sides; they will gang up on him.'"
+
+Yells of laughter and shouts of "Lizzie Lee!" even the two strangers
+produce sympathetic grins; I do not find it so funny as all that
+myself.
+
+"Ideas as to the form the 'outsider' should take were more varied.
+This is a matter I propose to leave you to work out together, with the
+assistance of Colonel Delano-Smith and Mr. Yardo. Te Whangoa, you
+take the chair."
+
+Exit M'Clare.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+This leaves the two halves of the table eying one another. Ram and
+Peter have been through this kind of session in their time; now they
+are leaning back preparing to watch us work. It is plain we are
+supposed to impress the abilities of Russett near-graduates on the two
+strangers, and for some moments we are all occupied taking them in.
+Colonel Delano-Smith is a small, neat guy with a face that has all the
+muscular machinery for producing an expression; he just doesn't care
+to use it. Mr. Yardo is taller than any of us except Eru and flesh is
+spread very thin on his bones, including his face which splits now and
+then in a grin like an affable skeleton. Where the colonel fits is
+guessable enough, Mr. Yardo is presumably Expert at something but no
+data on _what_.
+
+Eru rests his hands on the table and says we had better start; will
+somebody kindly outline an idea for making the Incognitans "gang up"?
+The simpler the better and it does not matter whether it is workable
+or not; pulling it to pieces will give us a start.
+
+We all wait to see who will rush in; then I catch Eru's eye and see I
+am elected Clown again. I say "Send them a letter postmarked Outer
+Space signed BEM saying we lost our own planet in a nova and will take
+over theirs two weeks from Tuesday."
+
+Mr. Yardo utters a sharp "Ha! Ha!" but it is not seconded; the
+colonel having been expressionless all along becomes more so; Eru
+says, "Thank you, Lizzie." He looks across at Cray who is opposite me;
+Cray says there are many points on which he might comment; to take
+only one, two weeks from Tuesday leaves little time for 'ganging up',
+and what happens when the BEMs fail to come?
+
+We are suddenly back in the atmosphere of a seminar; Eru's glance
+moves to P. Zapotec sitting next to Cray, and he says, "These BEMs who
+lost their home planet in a nova, how many ships have they? Without a
+base they cannot be very dangerous unless their fleet is very large."
+
+It goes round the table.
+
+Pavel: "How would BEMs learn to write?"
+
+Nick: "How are they supposed to know that Incognita is inhabited? How
+do they address the letter?"
+
+The Crow: "Huh. Why write letters? Invaders just invade."
+
+Kirsty: "We don't want to inflame these people against alien races. We
+might find one some day. It seems to me this idea might have all sorts
+of undesirable by-products. Suppose each side regards it as a ruse on
+the part of the other. We might touch off a war instead of preventing
+it. Suppose they turn over to preparations for repelling the invaders,
+to an extent that cripples their economy? Suppose a panic starts?"
+
+Dilly: "Say, Mr. Chairman, is there any of this idea left at all? How
+about an interim summary?"
+
+Eru coughs to get a moment for thought, then says:
+
+"In brief, the problem is to provide a menace against which the two
+groups will be forced to unite. It must have certain characteristics.
+
+"It must be sufficiently far off in time for the threat to last
+several years, long enough to force them into a real combination.
+
+"It must obviously be a plausible danger and they must get to know of
+it in a plausible manner. Invasion from outside is the only threat so
+far suggested.
+
+"It must be a limited threat. That is, it must appear to come from one
+well-defined group. The rest of the Universe should appear benevolent
+or neutral."
+
+He just stops, rather as though there is something else to come; while
+the rest of us are waiting B sticks her oar in to the following
+effect.
+
+"Yes, but look, suppose this goes wrong; it's all very well to make
+plans but suppose we get some of Kirsty's side-effects just the same,
+well what I mean is suppose it makes the mess worse instead of better
+we want some way we can sort of switch it off again.
+
+"Look this is just an illustration, but suppose the Menace was
+pirates, if it went wrong we could have an Earth ship make official
+contact and they could just happen to say By the way have you seen
+anything of some pirates, Earth fleet wiped them up in this sector
+about six months ago.
+
+"That would mean the whole crew conniving, so it won't do, but you
+see what I mean."
+
+There is a bit of silence, then Aro says, "I think we should start
+fresh. We have had criticisms of Lizzie's suggestion, which was not
+perhaps wholly serious, and as Dilly says there is little of it left,
+except the idea of a threat of invasion. The idea of an alien
+intelligent race has objections and would be very difficult to fake.
+The invaders must be men from another planet. Another unknown one. But
+how do the people of Incognita come to know that they exist?"
+
+More silence, then I hear my own voice speaking although it was my
+intention to keep quiet for once: it sounds kind of creaky and it
+says: "A ship. A crashed ship from Outside."
+
+Whereupon another voice says, "Really! Am I expected to swallow this?"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+We had just about forgotten the colonel, not to mention Mr. Yardo who
+contributes another "Ha! Ha!" so this reminder comes as a slight
+shock, nor do we see what he is talking about but this he proceeds to
+explain.
+
+"I don't know why M'Clare thought it necessary to stage this
+discussion. I am already acquainted with his plan and have had orders
+to co-operate. I have expressed my opinion on using undergraduates in
+a job like this and have been overruled. If he, or you, imagine that
+priming you to bring out his ideas like this is going to reconcile me
+to the whole business you are mistaken. He might have chosen a more
+suitable mouthpiece than that child with the curly hair--"
+
+Here everybody wishes to reply at once; the resulting jam produces a
+moment of silence and I get in first.
+
+"As for curly hair I am rising twenty-four and I was only saying what
+we all thought, if we have the same ideas as M'Clare that is because
+he taught us for four years. How else would you set about it anyway?"
+
+My fellow students pick up their stylers and tap solemnly three times
+on the table; this is the Russett equivalent of "Hear! Hear!" and the
+colonel is surprised.
+
+Eru says coldly, "This discussion has not been rehearsed. As Lizzie ... as
+Miss Lee says, we have been working and thinking together for four years
+and have been taught by the same people."
+
+"Very well," says Delano-Smith testily. "Tell me this, please: Do you
+regard this idea as practicable?"
+
+Cray tilts his chair back and remarks to the ceiling, "This is rather
+a farce. I suppose we had to go through our paces for the colonel's
+benefit--and Mr. Yardo's of course--but can't we be briefed properly
+now?"
+
+"What do you mean by that?" snaps the colonel.
+
+"It's been obvious right along," says Cray, balancing his styler on
+one forefinger, "so obvious none of us has bothered to mention it,
+that accepting the normal limitations of Mass-Time, the idea of
+interfering in Incognita was doomed before it began. No conventional
+ship would have much hope of arriving before war broke out; and if it
+did arrive it couldn't do anything effective. Therefore I assume that
+this is not a conventional ship. I might accept that the Government
+has sent us out in a futile attempt to do the impossible, but I
+wouldn't believe that of M'Clare."
+
+Cray is the only Terry I know acts like an Outsider's idea of one;
+many find this difficult to take and the colonel is plainly one of
+them. Eru intervenes quickly.
+
+"I imagine we all realized that. Anyway this ship is obviously not a
+conventional model. If you accept the usual Mass-Time relationship
+between the rate of transition and the fifth power of the apparent
+acceleration, we must have reached about four times the maximum
+already."
+
+"Ram!" says B suddenly, "What did you do to stop the Hotel scope
+registering the little ship you picked up me and Lizzie in?"
+
+Everybody cuts in with something they have noticed about the
+capabilities of this ship or the hoppers, and Lenny starts hammering
+on the table and chanting! "Brief! Brief! Brief!" and others are just
+starting to join in when Eru bangs on the table and glares us all
+down.
+
+Having got silence, he says very quietly, "Colonel Delano-Smith, I
+doubt whether this discussion can usefully proceed without a good deal
+more information; will you take over?"
+
+The colonel looks round at all the eager earnest interested maps
+hastily put on for his benefit and decides to take the plunge.
+
+"Very well. I suppose it is ... very well. The decision to use
+students from Russett was made at a very high level, and I suppose--"
+Instead of saying "Very well" again he shrugs his shoulders and gets
+down to it.
+
+"The report from the planet we decided to call 'Incognita' was
+received thirty-one days ago. The Department of Spatial Affairs has
+certain resources which are not generally known. This ship is one of
+them. She works on a modified version of Mass-Time which enables her
+to use about a thousand channels instead of the normal limit of two
+hundred; for good and sufficient reasons this has not been generally
+released."
+
+Pause while we are silently dared to doubt the Virtue and sufficiency
+of these reasons which personally I do not.
+
+"To travel to Incognita direct would take about fifteen days by the
+shortest route. We shall take eighteen days as we shall have to make a
+detour."
+
+But presumably we shall take only fifteen days back. Hurrah we can
+spend a week round the planet and still be back in time for
+Commemoration. We shall skip maybe a million awkward questions and I
+shall not disappoint Dad.
+
+It is plain the colonel is not filled with joy; far from it, he did
+not enjoy revealing a Departmental secret however obvious, but he
+likes the next item even less.
+
+"We shall detour to an uninhabited system twelve days' transit time
+from here and make contact with another ship, the _Gilgamesh_."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+At which Lennie DiMaggio who has been silent till now brings his fist
+down on the table and exclaims, "You _can't_!"
+
+Lennie is much upset for some reason; Delano-Smith gives him a
+peculiar look and says what does he know about it? and Lennie starts
+to stutter.
+
+Cray remarks that Lennie's childhood hobby appears to have been
+spaceships and he suffers from arrested development.
+
+B says it is well known Lennie is mad about the Space Force and why
+not? It seems to have uses Go on and tell us Lennie.
+
+Lennie says "_G-Gilgamesh_ was lost three hundred years ago!"
+
+"The flaw in that statement," says Cray after a pause, "is that this
+may be another ship of the same name."
+
+"No," says the colonel. "Explorer Class cruiser. They went out of
+service two hundred eighty years back."
+
+The Space Force, I remember, does not re-use names of lost ships: some
+says Very Proper Feeling some say Superstitious Rot.
+
+B says, "When was she found again?"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Lennie says it was j-just thirty-seven revolutions of his native
+planet which means f-f-fifty-three Terrestrial years ago, she was
+found by an Interplanetary scout called _Crusoe_.
+
+Judging by the colonel's expression this data is Classified; he does
+not know that Lennie's family come from one of the oldest settled
+planets and are space-goers to a man, woman, and juvenile; they pick
+up ship gossip the way others hear about the relations of people next
+door.
+
+Lennie goes on to say that the Explorer Class were the first official
+exploration ships sent out from Earth when the Terries decided to find
+out what happened to the colonies formed during the Exodus.
+_Gilgamesh_ was the first to re-make contact with Garuda, Legba,
+Lister, Cor-bis and Antelope; she vanished on her third voyage.
+
+"Where was she found?" asks Eru.
+
+"Near the p-p-pole of an uninhabited planet--maybe I shouldn't say
+where because that may be secret, but the rest's History if you know
+where to look."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Maybe the colonel approves this discretion; anyway his face thaws very
+slightly unless I am Imagining it.
+
+"_Gilgamesh_ crashed," he says. "Near as we can make out from the log,
+she visited Seleucis system. That's a swarmer sun. Fifty-seven
+planets, three settled; and any number of fragments. The navigator
+calculated that after a few more revolutions one of the fragments was
+going to crash on an inhabited planet. Might have done a lot of
+damage. They decided to tow it out of the way.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+"Grappling-beams hadn't been invented. They thought they could use
+Mass-Time on it a kind of reverse thrust--throw it off course.
+
+"Mass-Time wasn't so well understood then. Bit off more than they
+could chew. Set up a topological relation that drained all the free
+energy out of the system. Drive, heating system--everything.
+
+"She had emergency circuits. When the engines came on again they took
+over--landed the ship, more or less, on the nearest planet. Too late,
+of course. Heating system never came on--there was a safety switch
+that had to be thrown by hand. She was embedded in ice when she was
+found. Hull breached at one point--no other serious damage."
+
+"And the ... the crew?"
+
+Dillie ought to know better than that.
+
+"Lost with all hands," says the colonel.
+
+"How about weapons?"
+
+We are all startled. Cray is looking whitish like the rest of us but
+maintains his normal manner, i.e. offensive affection while pointing
+out that _Gilgamesh_ can hardly be taken for a Menace unless she has
+some means of aggression about her.
+
+Lennie says The Explorer Class were all armed--
+
+Fine, says Cray, presumably the weapons will be thoroughly obsolete
+and recognizable only to a Historian--
+
+Lennie says the construction of no weapon developed by the Space
+Department has ever been released; making it plain that anyone but a
+Nitwit knows that already.
+
+Eru and Kirsty have been busy for some time writing notes to each
+other and she now gives a small sharp cough and having collected our
+attention utters the following Address.
+
+"There is a point we seem to have missed. If I may recapitulate, the
+idea is to take this ship _Gilgamesh_ to Incognita and make it appear
+as though she had crashed there while attempting to land. I understand
+that the ship has been buried in the polar cap; though she must have
+been melted out if the people on _Crusoe_ examined the engines. Of
+course the cold--All the same there may have been ... well ...
+changes. Or when ... when we thaw the ship out again--"
+
+I find I am swallowing good and hard, and several of the others look
+sick, especially Lennie. Lennie has his eyes fixed on the colonel; it
+is not prescience, but a slight sideways movement of the colonel's eye
+causes him to blurt out, "What is _he_ doing here?"
+
+Meaning Mr. Yardo who seems to have been asleep for some time, with
+his eyes open and grinning like the spikes on a dog collar. The
+colonel gives him another sideways look and says, "Mr. Yardo is an
+expert on the rehabilitation of space-packed materials."
+
+This is stuff transported in un-powered hulls towed by
+grappling-beams; the hulls are open to space hence no need for
+refrigeration, and the contents are transferred to specially equipped
+orbital stations before being taken down to the planet. But--
+
+Mr. Yardo comes to life at the sound of his name and his grin widens
+alarmingly.
+
+"Especially meat," he says.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+It is maybe two hours afterwards, Eru having adjourned the meeting
+abruptly so that we can ... er ... take in the implications of the new
+data. Lennie has gone off somewhere by himself; Kirsty has gone after
+him with a view to Mothering him; Eru, I suspect, is looking for
+Kirsty; Pavel and Aro and Dillie and the Crow are in a cabin arguing
+in whispers; Nick and P. Zapotec are exploring one of the Hoppers,
+cargo-carrying, drop-shaped, and I only hope they don't hop through
+the hull in it.
+
+B and I having done a tour of the ship and ascertained all this have
+withdrawn to the Conference Room because we are tired of our cabins
+and this seems to be the only other place to sit.
+
+B breaks a long silence with the remark that However often you see it
+M'Clare's technique is something to watch, like choosing my statement
+to open with, it broke the ice beautifully.
+
+I say, "Shall I tell you something?"
+
+B says Yes if it's interesting.
+
+"My statement," I inform her, "ran something like this: The best hope
+of inducing a suspension of the aggressive attitude of both parties,
+long enough to offer hope of ultimate reconciliation, lies in the
+intrusion of a new factor in the shape of an outside force seen to be
+impartially hostile to both."
+
+B says: "Gosh. Come to think of it Liz you have not written like that
+in years, you have gone all pompous like everyone else; well that
+makes it even _more_ clever of M'Clare."
+
+Enter Cray Patterson and drapes himself sideways on a chair,
+announcing that his own thoughts begin to weary him.
+
+I say this does not surprise me, at all.
+
+"Lizzie my love," says he, "you are twice blessed being not only witty
+yourself but a cause of wit in others; was that bit of Primitive Lee
+with which M'Clare regaled us really not from the hand of the
+mistress, or was it a mere pastiche?"
+
+I say Whoever wrote that it was not me anyway.
+
+"It seemed to me pale and luke-warm compared with the real thing,"
+says Cray languidly, "which brings me to a point that, to quote dear
+Kirsty, seems to have been missed."
+
+I say, "Yep. Like what language it was that these people wrote their
+log in that we can be _certain_ the Incognitans won't know."
+
+"More than that," says B, "we didn't decide who they are or where they
+were coming from or how they came to crash or anything."
+
+"Come to think of it, though," I point out, "the language and a good
+many other things must have been decided already because of getting
+the right hypnotapes and translators on board."
+
+B suddenly lights up.
+
+"Yes, but look, I bet that's what we're here for, I mean that's why
+they picked us instead of Space Department people--the ship's got to
+have a past history, it has to come from a planet somewhere only no
+one must ever find out _where_ it's supposed to be. Someone will have
+to fake a log, only I don't see how--"
+
+"The first reel with data showing the planet of origin got damaged
+during the crash," says Cray impatiently.
+
+"Yes, of course--but we have to find a reason why they were in that
+part of Space and it has to be a _nice_ one, I mean so that the
+Incognitans when they finally read the log won't hate them any more--"
+
+"Maybe they were bravely defending their own planet by hunting down an
+interplanetary raider," I suggest.
+
+Cray says it will take only the briefest contact with other planets to
+convince the Incognitans that interplanetary raiders can't and don't
+exist, modern planetary alarm and defense systems put them out of the
+question.
+
+"That's all he knows," says B, "some interplanetary pirates raided
+Lizzie's father's farm once. Didn't they, Liz?"
+
+"Yes in a manner of speaking, but they were bums who pinched a
+spaceship from a planet not many parsecs away, a sparsely inhabited
+mining world like my own which had no real call for an alarm system,
+so that hardly alters the argument."
+
+"Well," says B, "the alarm system on Incognita can't be so hot or the
+observation ships could not have got in, or out, for that matter,
+unless of course they have some other gadget we don't know about."
+
+"On the other hand," she considers, "to mention Interplanetary raiders
+raises the idea of Menace in an Unfriendly Universe again, and this is
+what we want to cancel out.
+
+"These people," she says at last with a visionary look in her eye,
+"come from a planet which went isolationist and abandoned space
+travel; now they have built up their civilization to a point where
+they can build ships of their own again, and the ones on Gilgamesh
+have cut loose from the ideas of their ancestors that led to their
+going so far afield--"
+
+"How far afield?" says Cray.
+
+"No one will ever know," I point out to him. "Don't interrupt."
+
+"Anyway," says B, "they set out to rejoin the rest of the Human Race
+just like the people on _Gilgamesh_ _really_ did, in fact, a lot of
+this is the truth only kind of backwards--they were looking for the
+Cradle of the Race, that's what. Then there was some sort of disaster
+that threw them off course to land on an uninhabited section of a
+planet that couldn't understand their signals. And when Incognita
+finally does take to space flight again I bet the first thing the
+people do is to try and follow back to where _Gilgamesh_ came from and
+make contact with them. It'll become a legend on Incognita--the Lost
+People ... the Lost ... Lost--"
+
+"The Lost Kafoozalum," says Cray. "In other words we switch these
+people off a war only to send them on a wild goose chase."
+
+At which a strange voice chimes in, "No, no, no, son, you've got it
+all _wrong_."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Mr. Yardo is with us like a well-meaning skeleton.
+
+During the next twenty-five minutes we learn a lot about Mr. Yardo
+including material for a good guess at how he came to be picked for
+this expedition; doubtless there are many experts on Reversal Of
+Vacuum-Induced Changes in Organic Tissues but maybe only one of them a
+Romantic at heart.
+
+Mr. Yardo thinks chasing the Wild Goose will do the Incognitans all
+the good in the galaxy, it will take their minds off controversies
+over interhemispherical trade and put them on to the quest of the
+Unobtainable; they will get to know something of the Universe outside
+their own little speck. Mr. Yardo has seen a good deal of the Universe
+in the course of advising on how to recondition space-packed meat and
+he found it an Uplifting Experience.
+
+We gather he finds this desperate bit of damfoolery we are on now
+pretty Uplifting altogether.
+
+Cray keeps surprisingly quiet but it is as well that the rest of the
+party start to trickle in about twenty minutes later the first
+arrivals remarking Oh _that's_ where you've got to!
+
+Presently we are all congregated at one end of the table as before,
+except that Mr. Yardo is now sitting between B and me; when M'Clare
+and the colonel come in he firmly stays where he is evidently
+considering himself One of Us now.
+
+"The proposition," says M'Clare, "is that we intend to take
+_Gilgamesh_ to Incognita and land her there in such a way as to
+suggest that she crashed. In the absence of evidence to the contrary
+the Incognitans are bound to assume that that was her intended
+destination, and the presence of weapons, even disarmed, will suggest
+that her mission was aggressive. Firstly, can anyone suggest a better
+course of action? or does anyone object to this one?"
+
+We all look at Lennie who sticks his hands in his pockets and mutters
+"No."
+
+Kirsty gives her little cough and says there is a point which has not
+been mentioned.
+
+If a heavily-armed ship crashes on Incognita, will not the government
+of the hemisphere in which it crashes be presented with new ideas for
+offensive weapons? And won't this make it _more_ likely that they will
+start aggression? And won't the fear of this make the other hemisphere
+even more likely to try and get in first before the new weapons are
+complete?
+
+Hell, I ought to have thought of that.
+
+From the glance of unwilling respect which the colonel bestows on
+M'Clare it is plain these points have been dealt with.
+
+"The weapons on Gilgamesh were disarmed when she was rediscovered," he
+says. "Essential sections were removed. The Incognitans won't be able
+to reconstruct how they worked."
+
+_Another_ fact for which we shall have to provide an explanation. Well
+how about this: The early explorers sent out by these people--the
+people in Gilgamesh ... oh, use Cray's word and call them Lost
+Kafoozalum anyway their ships were armed, but they never found any
+enemies and the Idealists of B's story refused even to carry arms any
+more.
+
+(Which is just about what happened when the Terries set out to
+rediscover the colonies, after all.)
+
+So the Lost Kafoozalum could not get rid of their weapons completely
+because it would have meant rebuilding the ship; so they just
+partially dismantled them.
+
+Mr. Yardo suddenly chips in, "About that other point, girlie, surely
+there must be some neutral ground left on a half-occupied planet like
+that?" He beams round, pleased at being able to contribute.
+
+B says, "The thing is," and stops.
+
+We wait.
+
+We have about given up hope when she resumes, "The thing is, it will
+have to be neutral ground of course, only that might easily become a
+thingummy ... I mean a, a _casus belli_ in itself. So the _other_
+thing is it ought to be a place which is very hard to get at, so
+difficult that neither side can really get to it first, they'll have
+to reach an agreement and co-operate."
+
+"Yeah," says Dillie "that sounds fine, but what sort of place is
+that?"
+
+I am sorting out in my head the relative merits of mountains,
+deserts, gorges, et cetera, when I an seized with inspiration at the
+same time as half the group; we say the same thing in different words
+and for a time there is Babel, then the idea emerges:
+
+"Drop her into the sea!"
+
+The colonel nods resignedly.
+
+"Yes," he says, "that's what we're going to do."
+
+He presses a button and our projection-screens light up, first with a
+map of one pole of Incognita, expanding in scale till finally we are
+looking down on one little bit of coast on one of the polar islands. A
+glacier descends on to it from mountains inland and there is a bay
+between cliffs. Then we get a stereo scene of approximately the least
+hospitable of scenery I ever did see--except maybe when Parvati Lal
+Dutt's brother made me climb up what he swore was the smallest peak in
+the Himalayas.
+
+It is a small bay backed by tumbled cliffs. A shelving beach can be
+deduced from contour and occasional boulders big enough to stick
+through the snow that smothers it all. A sort of mess of rocks and mud
+at the back may be glacial moraine. Over the sea the ice is split in
+all directions by jagged rifts and channels; the whole thing is a bit
+like Antarctica but nothing is high enough or white enough to uplift
+the spirit, it looks not only chilly but kind of mean.
+
+"This place," says the colonel, "is the only one, about which we have
+any topographical information, that seems to meet the requirements.
+Got to know about it through an elementary planetography. One of the
+observers had the sense to see we might need something of the sort.
+This place"--the stereo jigs as he taps his projector--"seems it's the
+center of a rising movement in the crust ... that's not to the point.
+Neither side has bothered to claim the land at the poles...."
+
+I see their point if it's all like this--
+
+"... And a ship trying to land on those cliffs might very well pitch
+over into the sea. That is, if she were trying to land on emergency
+rockets."
+
+Rockets--that brings home the ancientness of this ship
+_Gilgamesh_--but after all the ships that settled Incognita probably
+carried emergency rockets, too.
+
+This settled, the meeting turns into a briefing session and merges
+imperceptibly with the beginning of the job.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+The job of course is Faking the background of the crash; working out
+the past history and present aims of the Lost Kafoozalum. We have to
+invent a planet and what's more difficult convey all the essential
+information about it by the sort of sideways hints you gather among
+peoples' personal possessions; diaries, letters et cetera; and what is
+even _more_ difficult we have to leave out anything that could lead to
+definite identification of our unknown world with any known one.
+
+We never gave that world a name; it might be dangerous. Who speaks of
+their world by name, except to strangers? They call it "home"--or
+"Earth," as often as not.
+
+Some things have been decided for us. Language, for instance--one of
+two thousand or so Earth tongues that went out of use late enough to
+be plausible as the main language of a colonized planet. The settlers
+on Incognita were not of the sort to take along dictionaries of the
+lesser-known tongues, so the computers at Russett had a fairly wide
+choice.
+
+We had to take a hypnocourse in that language. Ditto the script, one
+of several forgotten phonetic shorthands. (Designed to enable the
+tongues of Aliens to be written down; but the Aliens have never been
+met. It is plausible enough that some colony might have kept the
+script alive; after all Thasia uses something of the sort to this
+day.)
+
+The final result of our work looks pretty small. Twenty-three
+"Personal Background Sets"--a few letters, a diary in some, an
+assortment of artifacts. Whoever stocked this ship we are on supplied
+wood, of the half-dozen kinds that have been taken wherever men have
+gone; stocks of a few plastics--known at the time of the Exodus, or
+easily developed from those known, and not associated with any
+particular planet. Also books on Design, a Form-writer for translating
+drawings into materials, and so on. Someone put in a lot of work
+before this voyage began.
+
+Most of the time it is like being back on Russet doing a group
+Project. What we are working on has no more and no less reality than
+that. Our work is all read into a computer and checked against
+everybody else's. At first we keep clashing. Gradually a consistent
+picture builds up and gets translated finally into the Personal
+Background Kits. The Lost Kafoozalum start to exist like people in a
+History book.
+
+Fifteen days hard work and we have just about finished; then we
+reach--call it Planet Gilgamesh.
+
+I wake in my bunk to hear that there will be brief cessation of
+weight; strap down, please.
+
+We are coming off Mass-Time to go on planetary drive.
+
+Colonel Delano-Smith is in charge of operations on the planet, with
+Ram and Peter to assist. None of the rest of us see the melting out of
+fifty years' accumulation of ice, the pumping away of the water, the
+fitting and testing of the holds for the grappling-beams. We stay
+inside the ship, on five-eighths gee which we do not have time to get
+used to, and try to work, and discard the results before the computer
+can do so. There is hardly any work left to do, anyway.
+
+It takes nearly twelve hours to get the ship free, and caulked, and
+ready to lift. (Her hull has to be patched because of Mr. Yardo's
+operations which make use of several sorts of vapors). Then there is a
+queer blind period with Up now one way, now another, and sudden jerks
+and tugs that upset everything not in gimbals or tied down;
+interspersed with periods when weightlessness supervenes with no
+warning at all. After an hour or two of this it would be hard to say
+whether Mental or physical discomfort is more acute; B consulted,
+however, says my autonomic system must be quite something, after five
+minutes _her_ thoughts were with her viscera entirely.
+
+Then, suddenly, we are back on Mass-Time again.
+
+Two days to go.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+At first being on Mass-Time makes everything seem normal again. By
+sleep time there is a strain, and next day it is everywhere. I know as
+well as any that on Mass-Time the greater the mass the faster the
+shift; all the same I cannot help feeling we are being slowed, dragged
+back by the dead ship coupled to our live one.
+
+When you stand by the hull _Gilgamesh_ is only ten feet away.
+
+I should have kept something to work on like B and Kirsty who have not
+done their Letters for Home in Case of Accidents; mine is signed and
+sealed long ago. I am making a good start on a Neurosis when
+Delano-Smith announces a Meeting for one hour ahead.
+
+Hurrah! now there is a time-mark fixed I think of all sorts of things
+I should have done before; for instance taking a look at the controls
+of the Hoppers.
+
+I have been in one of them half an hour and figured out most of the
+dials--Up down and sideways are controlled much as in a helicar, but
+here a big viewscreen has been hooked in to the autopilot--when
+across the hold I see the air lock start to move.
+
+_Gilgamesh_ is on the other side.
+
+It takes forever to open. When at last it swings wide on the dark
+tunnel what comes through is a storage rack, empty, floating on
+antigrav.
+
+What follows is a figure in a spacesuit; modern type, but the windows
+of the hopper are semipolarized and I cannot make out the face inside
+the bubble top.
+
+He slings the rack upon the bulkhead, takes off the helmet and hangs
+that up, too. Then he just stands. I am beginning to muster enough
+sense to wonder why when he comes slowly across the hold.
+
+Reaching the doorway he says: "Oh it's you, Lizzie. You'll have to
+help me out of this. I'm stuck."
+
+M'Clare.
+
+The outside of the suit is still freezing cold; maybe this is what has
+jammed the fastening. After a few minutes tugging it suddenly gives
+away. M'Clare climbs out of the suit, leaving it standing, and says,
+"Help me count these, will you?"
+
+_These_ are a series of transparent containers from a pouch slung at
+one side of the suit. I recognize them as the envelopes in which we
+put what are referred to as Personal Background Sets.
+
+I say, "There ought to be twenty-three."
+
+"No," says M'Clare dreamily, "twenty-two, we're saving one of them."
+
+"What on earth is the use of an extra set of faked documents and
+oddments--"
+
+He seems to wake up suddenly and says: "What are you doing here,
+Lizzie?"
+
+I explain and he wanders over to the hopper and starts to explain the
+controls.
+
+There is something odd about all this. M'Clare is obviously dead
+tired, but kind of relaxed; seeing that the hour of Danger is only
+thirty-six hours off I don't understand it. Probably several of his
+students are going to have to risk their lives--
+
+I am on the point of seeing something important when the speaker
+announces in the colonel's voice that Professor M'Clare and Miss Lee
+will report to the Conference Room at once please.
+
+M'Clare looks at me and grins. "Come along, Lizzie. Here's where we
+take orders for once, you and I."
+
+It is the colonel's Hour. I suppose that having to work with
+Undergraduates is something he could never quite forget, but from the way
+he looks at us we might almost be Space Force personnel,--low-grade of
+course but respectable.
+
+Everything is at last worked out and he has it on paper in front of
+him; he puts the paper four square on the table, gazes into the middle
+distance and proceeds to recite.
+
+"One. This ship will go off Mass-Time on 2nd August at 11.27 hours
+ship's time....
+
+"Thirty-six hours from now.
+
+"... At a point one thousand miles vertically above Co-ordinates
+165OE, 7320S, on Planet Incognita, approximately one hour before
+midnight local time.
+
+"Going on planetary drive as close as that will indicate that
+something is badly wrong to begin with.
+
+"Two. This ship will descend, coupled to _Gilgamesh_ as at present, to
+a point seventy miles above the planetary surface. It will then
+uncouple, discharge one hopper, and go back on Mass-Time. Estimated
+time for this stage of descent forty minutes.
+
+"Three. The hopper will then descend on its own engines at the maximum
+speed allowed by the heat-disposal system; estimated at thirty-seven
+minutes. _Gilgamesh_ will complete descent in thirty-three minutes.
+Engines of _Gilgamesh_ will not be used except for the heat-disposal
+and gyro auxiliaries. The following installations have been made to
+allow for the control of the descent; a ring of eight rockets in
+peltathene mounts around the tail and, and one outsize antigrav unit
+inside the nose. "Sympathizer" controls hooked up with a visiscreen
+and a computer have also been installed in the nose.
+
+"Four. _Gilgamesh_ will carry one man only. The hopper will carry a
+crew of three. The pilot of _Gilgamesh_ will establish the ship on the
+edge of the cliff, supported on antigrav a foot or so above the ground
+and leaning towards the sea at an angle of approximately 20° with the
+vertical. Except for this landing will be automatic.
+
+"Five."
+
+The colonel's voice has lulled us into passive acceptance; now we are
+jerked into sharper attention by the faintest possible check in it.
+
+"The greatest danger attaching to the expedition is that the
+Incognitans may discover that the crash has been faked. This would be
+inevitable if they were to capture (a) the hopper; (b) any of the new
+installations in Gilgamesh, especially the antigrav; (c) any member of
+the crew.
+
+"The function of the hopper is to pick up the pilot of _Gilgamesh_ and
+also to check that ground appearances are consistent. If not, they
+will produce a landslip on the cliff edge, using power tools and
+explosives carried for the purpose. That is why the hopper has a crew
+of three, but the chance of their having to do this is slight."
+
+So I should think; ground appearances are supposed to show that
+_Gilgamesh_ landed using emergency rockets and then toppled over the
+cliff and this will be exactly what happened.
+
+"The pilot will carry a one-frequency low-power transmitter activated
+by the change in magnetic field on leaving the ship. The hopper will
+remain at five hundred feet until this signal is received. It will
+then pick up the pilot, check ground appearances, and rendezvous with
+this ship at two hundred miles up at 18.27 hours."
+
+The ship and the hopper both being radar-absorbent will not register
+on alarm systems, and by keeping to planetary nighttime they should
+be safe from being seen.
+
+"Danger (b) will be dealt with as follows. The rocket-mounts being of
+peltathene will be destroyed by half an hour's immersion in water. The
+installations in the nose will be destroyed with Andite."
+
+Andite produces complete colecular disruption in a very short range,
+hardly any damage outside it; the effect will be as though the nose
+broke off on impact; I suppose the Incognitans will waste a lot of
+time looking for it on the bed of the sea.
+
+"Four ten-centimeter cartridges will be inserted within the nose
+installations. The fuse will have two alternative settings. The first
+will be timed to act at 12.50 hours, seven minutes after the estimated
+time of landing. It will not be possible to deactivate it before 12.45
+hours. This takes care of the possibility of the pilot's becoming
+incapacitated during the descent.
+
+"Having switched off the first fuse the pilot will get the ship into
+position and then activate a second, timed to blow in ten minutes. He
+will then leave the ship. When the antigrav is destroyed the ship
+will, of course, fall into the sea.
+
+"Six. The pilot of _Gilgamesh_ will wear a spacesuit of the pattern
+used by the original crew and will carry Personal Background Set
+number 23. Should he fail to escape from the ship the crew of the
+hopper will on no account attempt to rescue him."
+
+The colonel takes up the paper, folds it in half and puts it down one
+inch further away.
+
+"The hopper's crew," he says, "will give the whole game away should
+one of them fall into Incognitan hands, alive or dead. Therefore they
+don't take any risks of it."
+
+He lifts his gaze ceilingwards. "I'm asking for three volunteers."
+
+Silence. Manning the hopper is definitely second best. Then light
+suddenly bursts on me and I lift my hand and hack B on the ankle.
+
+"I volunteer," I say.
+
+B gives me a most dubious glance and then lifts her hand, too.
+
+Cray on the other side of the table is slowly opening his mouth when
+there is an outburst of waving on the far side of B.
+
+"Me too, colonel! I volunteer!"
+
+Mr. Yardo proceeds to explain that his special job is over and done,
+he can be more easily spared than anybody, he may be too old to take
+charge of _Gilgamesh_ but will back himself as a hopper pilot against
+anybody.
+
+The colonel cuts this short by accepting all three. He then unfolds
+his paper again.
+
+"Piloting _Gilgamesh_," he says. "I'm not asking for volunteers now.
+You'll go to your cabins in four hours' time and those who want to
+will volunteer, secretly. To a computer hookup, Computer will select
+on a random basis and notify the one chosen. Give him his final
+instructions, too. No one need know who it was till it's all over. He
+can tell anyone he likes, of course."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+A very slight note of triumph creeps into the next remark. "One point.
+Only men need volunteer."
+
+Instant outcry from Kirsty and Dilly: B turns to me with a look of
+awe.
+
+"Nothing to do with prejudice," says the colonel testily. "Just facts.
+The crew of _Gilgamesh_ were all men. Can't risk one solitary woman
+being found on board. Besides--spacesuits, personal background
+sets--all designed for men."
+
+Kirsty and Dilly turn on me looks designed to shrivel and B whispers
+"Lizzie how wonderful you are."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+The session dissolves. We three get an intensive session course of
+instruction on our duties and are ordered off to sleep. After
+breakfast next morning I run into Cray who says, Before I continue
+about what is evidently pressing business would I care to kick him,
+hard?
+
+Not right now I reply, what for anyway?
+
+"Miss Lee," says Cray, dragging it out longer than ever, "although I
+have long realized that your brain functions in a way much superior to
+logic I had not sense enough yesterday to follow my own instinct and
+do what you do as soon as you did it; therefore that dessicated meat
+handler got in first."
+
+I say: "So you weren't picked for pilot? It was only one chance in
+ten."
+
+"Oh," says Cray, "did you really think so?" He gives me a long look
+and goes away.
+
+I suppose he noticed that when the colonel came out with his remarks
+about No women in Gilgamesh I was as surprised as any.
+
+Presently the three of us are issued with protective clothing; we just
+might have to venture out on the planet's surface and therefore we get
+white one-piece suits to protect against Cold, heat, moisture,
+dessication, radioactivity, and mosquitoes, and they are quite
+becoming, really.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+B and I drag out dressing for thirty minutes; then we just sit while
+Time crawls asymptotically towards the hour.
+
+Then the speaker calls us to go.
+
+We are out of the cabin before it says two words and racing for the
+hold; so that we are just in time to see a figure out of an Historical
+movie--padded, jointed, tin bowl for head and blank reflecting glass
+where the face should be--stepping through the air lock.
+
+The colonel and Mr. Yardo are there already. The colonel packs us into
+the hopper and personally closes the door, and for once I know what
+he is thinking; he is wishing he were not the only pilot in this ship
+who could possibly rely on bringing the ship off and on Mass-Time at
+one particular defined spot of Space.
+
+Then he leaves us; half an hour to go.
+
+The light in the hold begins to alter. Instead of being softly
+diffused it separates into sharp-edged beams, reflecting and
+crisscrossing but leaving cones of shadow between. The air is being
+pumped into store.
+
+Fifteen minutes.
+
+The hull vibrates and a hatch slides open in the floor so that the
+black of Space looks through; it closes again.
+
+Mr. Yardo lifts the hopper gently off its mounts and lets it back
+again.
+
+Testing; five minutes to go.
+
+I am hypnotized by my chronometer; the hands are crawling through
+glue; I am still staring at it when, at the exact second, we go off
+Mass-Time.
+
+No weight. I hook my heels under the seat and persuade my esophagus
+back into place. A new period of waiting has begun. Every so often
+comes the impression we are falling head-first; the colonel using
+ship's drive to decelerate the whole system. Then more free fall.
+
+The hopper drifts very slowly out into the hold and hovers over the
+hatch, and the lights go. There is only the glow from the visiscreen
+and the instrument board.
+
+One minute thirty seconds to go.
+
+The hatch slides open again. I take a deep breath.
+
+I am still holding it when the colonel's voice comes over the speaker:
+"Calling _Gilgamesh_. Calling the hopper. Good-by and Good luck.
+You're on your own."
+
+The ship is gone.
+
+Yet another stretch of time has been marked off for us. Thirty-seven
+minutes, the least time allowable if we are not to get overheated by
+friction with the air. Mr. Yardo is a good pilot; he is concentrating
+wholly on the visiscreen and the thermometer. B and I are free to look
+around.
+
+I see nothing and say so.
+
+I did not know or have forgotten that Incognita has many small
+satellites; from here there are four in sight.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I am still looking at them when B seizes my arm painfully and points
+below us.
+
+I see nothing and say so.
+
+B whispers it was there a moment ago, it is pretty cloudy down
+there--Yes Lizzie there it is _look_.
+
+And I see it. Over to the left, very faint and far below, a pin-prick
+of light.
+
+Light in the polar wastes of a sparsely inhabited planet, and since we
+are still five miles up it is a very powerful light too.
+
+No doubt about it, as we descend farther; about fifty miles from our
+objective there are men, quite a lot of them.
+
+I think it is just then that I understand, _really_ understand, the
+hazard of what we are doing. This is not an exercise. This is in dead
+earnest, and if we have missed an essential factor or calculated
+something wrong the result will be not a bad mark or a failed exam, or
+even our personal deaths, but incalculable harm and misery to millions
+of people we never even heard of.
+
+Dead earnest. How in Space did we ever have cheek enough for this?
+
+The lights might be the essential factor we have missed, but there is
+nothing we can do about them now.
+
+Mr. Yardo suddenly chuckles and points to the screen.
+
+"There you are, girlies! He's down!"
+
+There, grayly dim, is the map the colonel showed us; and right on the
+faint line of the cliff-edge is a small brilliant dot.
+
+The map is expanding rapidly, great lengths of coastline shooting out
+of sight at the edge of the screen. Mr. Yardo has the cross-hairs
+centered on the dot which is _Gilgamesh_. The dot is changing shape;
+it is turning into a short ellipse, a longer one. The gyros are
+leaning her out over the sea.
+
+I look at my chronometer; 12.50 hours exactly. B looks, too, and grips
+my hand.
+
+Thirty seconds later the Andite has not blown; first fuse safety
+turned off. Surely she is leaning far enough out by now?
+
+We are hovering at five hundred feet. I can actually see the white
+edge of the sea beating at the cliff. Mr. Yardo keeps making small
+corrections; there is a wind out there trying to blow us away. It is
+cloudy here: I can see neither moons nor stars.
+
+Mr. Yardo checks the radio. Nothing yet.
+
+I stare downwards and fancy I can see a metallic gleam.
+
+Then there is a wordless shout from Mr. Yardo; a bright dot hurtles
+across the screen and at the same time I see a streak of blue flame
+tearing diagonally downwards a hundred feet away.
+
+The hopper shudders to a flat concussion in the air, we are all thrown
+off balance, and when I claw my way back to the screen the moving dot
+is gone.
+
+So is _Gilgamesh_.
+
+B says numbly, "But it wasn't a meteor. It can't have been."
+
+"It doesn't matter what it was," I say. "It was some sort of missile,
+I think. They must be even nearer to war than we thought."
+
+We wait. What for, I don't know. Another missile, perhaps. No more
+come.
+
+At last Mr. Yardo stirs. His voice sounds creaky.
+
+"I guess," he says, then clears his throat, and tries again. "I guess
+we have to go back up."
+
+B says, "Lizzie, who was it? Do you know?"
+
+Of course I do. "Do you think M'Clare was going to risk one of us on
+that job? The volunteering was a fake. He went himself."
+
+B whispers, "You're just guessing."
+
+"Maybe," says Mr. Yardo, "but I happened to see through that face
+plate of his. It was the professor all right."
+
+He has his hand on the controls when my brain starts working again. I
+utter a strangled noise and dive for the hatch into the cargo hold. B
+tries to grab me but I get it open and switch on the light.
+
+Fifty-fifty chance--I've lost.
+
+_No_, this is the one we came in and the people who put in the new
+cargo did not clear out my fish-boat, they just clamped it neatly to
+the wall.
+
+I dive in and start to pass up the package. B shakes her head.
+
+"No, Lizzie. We can't. Don't you remember? If we got caught, it would
+give everything away. Besides ... there isn't any chance--"
+
+"Take a look at the screen," I tell her.
+
+Sharp exclamation from Mr. Yardo. B turns to look, then takes the
+package and helps me back.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Mr. Yardo maneuvers out over the sea till the thing is in the middle
+of the screen; then drops to a hundred feet. It is sticking out of the
+water at a fantastic angle and the waves are hardly moving it. The
+nose of a ship.
+
+"The antigrav," whispers B. "The Andite hasn't blown yet."
+
+"Ten minutes," says Mr. Yardo thoughtfully. He turns to me with sudden
+briskness. "What's that, Lizzie girl? A fish-boat? Good. We may need
+it. Let's have a look."
+
+"It's mine," I tell him.
+
+"Now look--"
+
+"Tailor made," I say. "You might get into it, though I doubt it. You
+couldn't work the controls."
+
+It takes him fifteen seconds to realize there is no way round it; he
+is six foot three and I am five foot one. Even B would find it hard.
+
+His face goes grayish and he stares at me helplessly. Finally he nods.
+
+"All right, Lizzie. I guess we have to try it. Things certainly can't
+be much worse than they are. We'll go over to the beach there."
+
+On the beach there is wind and spray and breakers but nothing
+unmanageable; the cliffs on either side keep off the worst of the
+force. It is queer to feel moving air after eighteen days in a ship.
+It takes six minutes to unpack and expand the boat and by that time it
+is ten minutes since the missile hit and the Andite has not blown.
+
+I crawl into the boat. In my protective clothing it is a fairly tight
+fit. We agree that I will return to this same point and they will
+start looking for me in fifty minutes' time and will give up if I have
+not returned in two hours. I take two Andite cartridges to deal with
+all eventualities and snap the nose of the boat into place. At first I
+am very conscious of the two little white cigars in the pouch of my
+suit, but presently I have other things to think about.
+
+I use the "limbs" to crawl the last few yards of shingle into the
+water and on across the sea bottom till I am beyond the line of
+breakers; then I turn on the motor. I have already set the controls to
+"home" on _Gilgamesh_ and the radar will steer me off any
+obstructions. This journey in the dark is as safe as my trip around
+the reefs before all this started--though it doesn't feel that way.
+
+It takes twelve minutes to reach _Gilgamesh_, or rather the fragment
+that antigrav is supporting; it is about half a mile from the beach.
+
+The radar stops me six feet from her and I switch it off and turn to
+Manual and inch closer in.
+
+Lights, a very small close beam. The missile struck her about one
+third of her length behind the nose. I know, because I can see the
+whole of that length. It is hanging just above the water, sloping at
+about 30° to the horizontal. The ragged edge where it was torn from
+the rest is just dipping into the sea.
+
+If anyone sees this, I don't know what they will make of it but no one
+could possibly think an ordinary spaceship suffered an ordinary crash,
+and very little investigation would show up the truth.
+
+I reach up with the forward set of "limbs" and grapple on to the
+break. I now have somehow to get the hind set of "limbs" up without
+losing my grip. I can't.
+
+It takes several minutes to realize that I can just open the nose and
+crawl out.
+
+Immediately a wave hits me in the face and does its best to drag me
+into the sea. However the interior of the ship is relatively sheltered
+and presently I am inside and dragging the boat up out of reach.
+
+I need light. Presently I manage to detach one of the two from the
+boat. I turn it down to minimum close beam and hang it round my neck;
+then I start up the black jag-edged tunnel of the ship.
+
+I have to get to the nose, find the fuse, change the setting to twenty
+minutes--maximum possible--and get out before it blows--out of the
+water I mean. The fish-boat is not constructed to take explosions even
+half a mile away. But the first thing is to find the fuse and I cannot
+make out how _Gilgamesh_ is lying and therefore cannot find the door
+through this bulkhead; everything is ripped and twisted. In the end I
+find a gap between the bulkhead itself and the hull, and squeeze
+through that.
+
+In the next compartment things are more recognizable and I eventually
+find the door. Fortunately ships are designed so that you can get
+through doors even when they are in the ceiling; actually here I have
+to climb up an overhang, but the surface is provided with rungs which
+make it not too bad. Finally I reach the door. I shall have to use
+antigrav to get down ... why didn't I just turn it on and jump? I
+forgot I had it.
+
+The door was a little way open when the missile struck; it buckled in
+its grooves and is jammed fast. I can get an arm through. No more. I
+switch on antigrav and hang there directing the light round the
+compartment. No rents anywhere, just buckling. This compartment is
+divided by a partition and the door through that is open. There will
+be another door into the nose on the other side.
+
+I bring back my feet ready to kick off on a dive through that doorway.
+
+Behind me, something stirs.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+My muscles go into a spasm like the one that causes a falling dream,
+my hold tears loose and I go tumbling through the air, rebound from a
+wall, twist, and manage to hook one foot in the frame of the door I
+was aiming for. I pull myself down and turn off the antigrav; then I
+just shake for a bit.
+
+The sound was--
+
+This is stupid, with everything torn to pieces in this ship there is
+no wonder if bits shake loose and drop around--
+
+But it was not a metallic noise, it was a kind of soft dragging, very
+soft, that ended in a little thump.
+
+Like a--
+
+Like a loose piece of plastic dislodged from its angle of rest and
+slithering down, pull yourself together Lizzie Lee.
+
+I look through the door into the other half of this level. Shambles.
+Smashed machinery every which way, blocking the door, blocking
+everything. No way through at all.
+
+Suddenly I remember the tools. Mr. Yardo loaded the fish-boat with all
+it would take. I crawl back and return with a fifteen inch expanding
+beam-lever, and overuse it; the jammed trap door does not slide back
+in its grooves but flips right out of them, bent double; it flies off
+into the dark and clangs its way to rest.
+
+I am halfway through the opening when I hear the sound again. A soft
+slithering; a faint defeated thump.
+
+I freeze where I am, and then I hear the sigh; a long, long weary
+sound, almost musical.
+
+An air leak somewhere in the hull and wind or waves altering the air
+pressure below.
+
+All the same I do not seem able to come any farther through this door.
+
+Light might help; I turn the beam up and play it cautiously around.
+This is the last compartment, right in the nose; a sawn-off
+cone-shape. No breaks here, though the hull is buckled to my left and
+the "floor"--the partition, horizontal when the ship is in the normal
+operating position, which holds my trap door--is torn up; some large
+heavy object was welded to a thin surface skin which has ripped away
+leaving jagged edges and a pattern of girders below.
+
+There is no dust here; it has all been sucked out when the ship was
+open to space; nothing to show the beam except the sliding yellow
+ellipse where it touches the wall. It glides and turns, spiraling
+down, deformed every so often where it crosses a projection or a dent,
+till it halts suddenly on a spoked disk, four feet across and standing
+nearly eighteen inches out from the wall. The antigrav.
+
+I never saw one this size, it is like the little personal affairs as a
+giant is like a pigmy, not only bigger but a bit different in
+proportion. I can see an Andite cartridge fastened among the spokes.
+
+The fuse is a "sympathizer" but it is probably somewhere close. The
+ellipse moves again. There is no feeling that I control it; it is
+hunting on its own. To and fro around the giant wheel. Lower. It halts
+on a small flat box, also bolted to the wall, a little way below. This
+is it, I can see the dial.
+
+The ellipse stands still, surrounding the fuse. There is something at
+the very edge of it.
+
+When _Gilgamesh_ was right way up the antigrav was bolted to one wall,
+about three feet above the floor. Now the lowest point is the place
+where this wall joins what used to be the floor. Something has fallen
+down to that point and is huddled there in the dark.
+
+The beam jerks suddenly up and the breath whoops out of me; a round
+thing sticking out of the wall--then I realize it is an archaic
+space-helmet, clamped to the wall for safety when the wearer took it
+off.
+
+I take charge of the ellipse of light and move it slowly down, past
+the fuse, to the thing below. A little dark scalloping of the edge of
+the light. The tips of fingers. A hand.
+
+I turn up the light.
+
+When the missile struck the big computer was wrenched loose from the
+floor. It careened down as the floor tilted, taking with it anything
+that stood in its way.
+
+M'Clare was just stooping to the fuse, I think. The computer smashed
+against his legs and pinned him down in the angle between the wall and
+the floor. His legs are hidden by it.
+
+Because of the spacesuit he does not looked crushed; the thick clumsy
+joints have kept their roundness, so far as they are visible; only his
+hands and head are bare and vulnerable looking.
+
+I am halfway down, floating on minimum gravity, before it really
+occurs to me that he may be still alive.
+
+I switch to half and drop beside him. His face is colorless but he is
+breathing all right.
+
+First-aid kit. I will never make fun of Space Force thoroughness
+again. Rows and rows of small plastic ampoules. Needles.
+
+Pain-killer, first. I read the directions twice, sweating. Emergencies
+only--this is. One dose _only_ to be given and if patient is not in
+good health use--never mind that. I fit on the longest needle and jab
+it through the suit, at the back of the thigh, as far towards the
+knee-joint as I can get because the suit is thinner. Half one side,
+half the other.
+
+Now to get the computer off. At a guess it weighs about five hundred
+pounds. The beam-lever would do it but it would probably fall back.
+
+Antigrav; the personal size is supposed to take up to three times the
+weight of the average man. I take mine off and buckle the straps
+through a convenient gap. I have my hands under the thing when M'Clare
+sighs again.
+
+He is lying on his belly but his head is turned to one side, towards
+me. Slowly his eyelids open. He catches the sight of my hand; his head
+moves a little, and he says, "Lizzie. Golden Liz."
+
+I say not to worry, we will soon be out of here.
+
+His body jumps convulsively and he cries out. His hand reaches my
+sleeve and feels. He says, "Liz! Oh, God, I thought ... what--"
+
+I say things are under control and just keep quiet a bit.
+
+His eyes close. After a moment he whispers, "Something hit the ship."
+
+"A homing missile, I think."
+
+I ought not to have said that; but it seems to make no particular
+impression, maybe he guessed as much.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I was wrong in wanting to shift the computer straight away, the
+release of pressure might start a hemorrhage; I dig out ampoules of
+blood-seal and inject them into the space between the suit and the
+flesh, as close to the damage as I can.
+
+M'Clare asks how the ship is lying and I explain, also how I got here.
+I dig out the six-by-two-inch packet of expanding stretcher and read
+the directions. He is quiet for a minute or two, gathering strength;
+then he says sharply: "Lizzie. Stop that and listen.
+
+"The fuse for the Andite is just under the antigrav. Go and find it.
+Go now. There's a dial with twenty divisions. Marked in black--you see
+it. Turn the pointer to the last division. Is that done?
+
+"Now you see the switch under the pointer? Is your boat ready? I beg
+your pardon, of course you left it that way. Then turn the switch and
+get out."
+
+I come back and see by my chrono that the blood-seal should be set; I
+get my hands under the computer. M'Clare bangs his hand on the floor.
+
+"Lizzie, you little idiot, don't you realize that even if you get me
+out of this ship, which is next to impossible, you'll be delayed all
+the way--and if the Incognitans find either of us the whole plan's
+ruined? Much worse than ruined, once they see it's a hoax--"
+
+I tell him I have two Andite sticks and they won't find us and on a
+night like this any story of explosions will be put down to sudden
+gusts or to lightning.
+
+He is silent for a moment while I start lifting the computer,
+carefully; its effective weight with the antigrav full on is only
+about twenty pounds but is has all its inertia. Then he says quietly,
+"Please, Lizzie--can't you understand that the worst nightmare in the
+whole affair has been the fear that one of you might get injured? Or
+even killed? When I realized that only one person was needed to pilot
+_Gilgamesh_--it was the greatest relief I ever experienced. Now you
+say...." His voice picks up suddenly. "Lizzie, you're beaten anyway.
+The ... I'm losing all feeling. Even pain. I can't feel anything
+behind my shoulders ... it's creeping up--"
+
+I say that means the pain-killer I shot him with is acting as
+advertised, and he makes a sound as much like an explosive chuckle as
+anything and it's quiet again.
+
+The curvature between floor and wall is not helpful, I am trying to
+find a place to wedge the computer so it cannot fall back when I take
+off the antigrav. Presently I get it pushed on to a sort of ledge
+formed by a dent in the floor, which I think will hold it. I ease off
+the antigrav and the computer stays put, I don't like the looks of it
+so let's get out of here.
+
+I push the packaged stretcher under his middle and pull the tape
+before I turn the light on to his legs to see the damage. I cannot
+make out very much; the joints of the suit are smashed some, but as
+far as I can see the inner lining is not broken which means it is
+still air-and-water-tight.
+
+I put a hand under his chest to feel how the stretcher is going; it is
+now expanded to eighteen inches by six and I can feel it pushing out,
+but it is _slow_, what else have I to do--oh yes, get the helmet.
+
+I am standing up to reach for it when M'Clare says, "What are you
+doing? Yes ... well, don't put it on for a minute. There's something I
+would like to tell you, and with all respect for your obstinacy I
+doubt very much whether I shall have another chance. Keep that light
+off me, will you? It hurts my eyes.
+
+"You know, Lizzie, I dislike risking the lives of any of the students
+for whom I am responsible, but as it happens I find the idea of
+you--blowing yourself to atoms particularly objectionable because ... I
+happen to be in love with you. You're also one of my best students, I
+used to think that ... was why I'd been so insistent on your coming to
+Russett, but I rather think ... my motives were mixed even then. I meant
+to tell you this after you graduated, and to ask you to marry me, not
+that ... I thought you would, I know quite well ... you never quite
+forgave me, but I don't-want-to-have to remember ... I didn't ... have
+the guts to--"
+
+His voice trails off, I get a belated rush of sense to the head and
+turn the light on his face. His head is turned sideways and his fist
+is clenched against the side of his neck. When I touch it his hand
+falls open and five discharged ampoules fall out.
+
+Pain-killer.
+
+Maximum dose, one ampoule.
+
+All that talk was just to hold my attention while he fixed the needles
+and--
+
+I left the kit spread out right next to him.
+
+While I am taking this in some small cold corner of my mind is
+remembering the instructions that are on the pain-killer ampoule; it
+does not say, outright, that it is the last refuge for men in the
+extremity of pain and despair; therefore it cannot say, outright, that
+they sometimes despair too soon; but it does tell you the name of the
+antidote.
+
+There are only three ampoules of this and they also say, maximum dose
+one ampoule. I try to work it out but lacking all other information
+the best I can do is inject two and keep one till later. I put that
+one in my pocket.
+
+The stretcher is all expanded now; a very thin but quite rigid grid,
+six feet by two; I lash him on it without changing his position and
+fasten the helmet over his head.
+
+Antigrav; the straps just go round him and the stretcher.
+
+I point the thing up towards the trap door and give it a gentle push;
+then I scramble up the rungs and get there just in time to guide it
+through. It takes a knock then and some more while I am getting it
+down to the next partition, but he can't feel it.
+
+This time I find the door, because the roar of noise behind it acts as
+a guide. The sea is getting up and is dashing halfway to the door as I
+crawl through. My boat is awash, pivoting to and fro on the grips of
+the front "limbs."
+
+I grab it, release the limbs and pull it as far back as the door. I
+maneuver the stretcher on top and realize there is nothing to fasten
+it with ... except the antigrav, I get that undone, holding the
+stretcher in balance, and manage to put it under the stretcher and
+pass the straps between the bars of the grid ... then round the little
+boat, and the buckle just grips the last inch. It will hold, though.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I set the boat to face the broken end of the ship, but I daren't put
+it farther back than the doorway; I turn the antigrav to half, fasten
+the limb-grips and rush back towards the nose of the ship. Silver knob
+under the dial. I turn it down, hear the thing begin a fast, steady
+ticking, and turn and run.
+
+Twenty minutes.
+
+One and a half to get back to the boat, four to get inside it without
+overturning. Nearly two to get down to the sea--balance difficult. One
+and a half to lower myself in.
+
+Thirty seconds' tossing before I sink below the wave layer; then I
+turn the motor as high as I dare and head for the shore.
+
+In a minute I have to turn it down; at this speed the radar is
+bothered by water currents and keeps steering me away from them as
+though they were rocks; I finally find the maximum safe speed but it
+is achingly slow. What happens if you are in water when Andite blows
+half a mile away? A moment's panic as I find the ship being forced up,
+then I realize I have reached the point where the beach starts to
+shelve, turn off radar and motor and start crawling. Eternal slow
+reach out, grab, shove, haul, with my heart in my mouth; then suddenly
+the nose breaks water and I am hauling myself out with a last wave
+doing its best to overbalance me.
+
+I am halfway out of the boat when the Andite blows behind me. There is
+a flat slapping sound; then an instant roar of wind as the air
+receives the binding energies of several tons of matter; then a long
+wave comes pelting up the beach and snatches at the boat.
+
+I huddle into the shingle and hold the boat; I have just got the
+antigrav turned off, otherwise I think it would have been carried
+away. There are two or three more big waves and a patter of spray;
+then it is over.
+
+The outlet valve of the helmet is working, so M'Clare is still
+breathing; very deep, very slow.
+
+I unfasten the belt of the antigrav, having turned it on again, and
+pull the belt through the buckle. No time to take it off and rearrange
+it; anyway it will work as well under the stretcher as on top of it. I
+drag the boat down to the water, put in an Andite cartridge with the
+longest fuse I have, set the controls to take it straight out to sea
+at maximum depth the radar control will allow--six feet above
+bottom--and push it off. The other Andite cartridge starts burning a
+hole in my pocket; I would have liked to put that in too, but I must
+keep it, in case.
+
+I look at my chrono and see that in five minutes the hopper will come.
+
+Five minutes.
+
+I am halfway back to the stretcher when I hear a noise further up the
+beach. Unmistakable. Shingle under a booted foot.
+
+I stand frozen in mid-stride. I turned the light out after launching
+the boat but my eyes have not recovered yet; it is murkily black. Even
+my white suit is only the faintest degree paler than my surroundings.
+
+Silence for a couple of minutes. I stand still. But it can't have gone
+away. What happens when the hopper comes? They will see whoever it is
+on the infrared vision screen. They won't come--
+
+Footsteps again. Several.
+
+Then the clouds part and one of those superfluous little moons shines
+straight through the gap.
+
+The bay is not like the stereo the colonel showed because that was
+taken in winter; now the snow is melted, leaving bare shingle and mud
+and a tumble of rocks; more desolate than the snow. Fifty feet off is
+a man.
+
+He is huddled up in a mass of garments but his head is bare, rising
+out of a hood which he has pushed back, maybe so as to listen better;
+he looks young, hardly older than me. He is holding a long thin object
+which I never saw before, but it must be a weapon of some sort.
+
+This is the end of it. All the evidence of faking is destroyed; except
+M'Clare and me. Even if I use the Andite he has seen me--and that
+leaves M'Clare.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+I am standing here on one foot like a dancer in a jammed movie,
+waiting for Time to start again or the world to end--
+
+Like the little figure in the dance-instruction kit Dad got when I was
+seven, when you switched her off in the middle.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Like a dancer--
+
+My weight shifts on to the forward foot. My arms swing up, forwards,
+back. I take one step, another.
+
+Swing. Turn. Kick. Sideways.
+
+Like the silly little dancer who could not get out of the plastic
+block; but I am moving forward little by little, even if I have to
+take three steps roundabout for every one in advance.
+
+Arms, up. Turn, round. Leg, up. Straighten, out. Step.
+
+Called the Dance of the Little Robot, for about three months Dad
+thought it was no end cute, till he caught on I was thinking so, too.
+
+It is just about the only kind of dance you could do on shingle, I
+guess.
+
+When this started I thought I might be going crazy, but I just had not
+had time to work it out. In terms of Psychology it goes like this; to
+shoot off a weapon a man needs a certain type of Stimulus like the
+sight of an enemy over the end of it. So if I do my best not to look
+like an enemy he will not get that Stimulus. Or put it another way
+most men think twice before shooting a girl in the middle of a dance.
+If I should happen to get away with this, nobody will believe his
+story, he won't believe it himself.
+
+As for the chance of getting away with it, i.e., getting close enough
+to grab the gun or hit him with a rock or something, I know I would
+become a Stimulus to shooting before I did that but there are always
+the clouds, if one will only come back over the moon again.
+
+I have covered half the distance.
+
+Twenty feet from him, and he takes a quick step back.
+
+Turn, kick, out, step. I am swinging round away from him, let's hope
+he finds it reassuring. I dare not look up but I think the light is
+dimming. Turn, kick, out, step. Boxing the compass. Coming round
+again.
+
+And the cloud is coming over the moon, out of the corner of my eye I
+see darkness sweeping towards us--and I see his face of sheer horror
+as he sees it, too; he jumps back, swings up the weapon, and fires
+straight in my face.
+
+And it is dark. So much for Psychology.
+
+There is a clatter and other sounds--
+
+Well, quite a lot for Psychology maybe, because at twenty feet he
+seems to have missed me.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I pick myself up and touch something which apparently is his weapon,
+gun or whatever. I leave it and hare back to the stretcher, next-to
+fall over it but stop just in time, and switch on the antigrav. Up;
+level it; now where to? The cliffs enclosing the bay are about thirty
+yards off to my left and they offer the only cover.
+
+The shingle is relatively level; I make good time till I stumble
+against a rock and nearly lose the stretcher. I step up on to the rock
+and see the cliff as a blacker mass in the general darkness, only a
+yard away. I edge the stretcher round it.
+
+It is almost snatched out of my hand by a gust of wind. I pull it back
+and realize that in the bay I have been sheltered; there is pretty
+near half a gale blowing across the face of the cliff.
+
+Voices and footsteps, away back among the rocks where the man came
+from.
+
+If the clouds part again they will see me, sure as shooting.
+
+I take a hard grip on the stretcher and scramble round the edge of the
+cliff.
+
+After the first gust the wind is not so bad; for the most part it is
+trying to press me back into the cliff. The trouble is that I can't
+see. I have to shuffle my foot forward, rubbing one shoulder against
+the cliff to feel where it is because I have no hand free.
+
+After a few yards I come to an impasse; something more than knee high;
+boulder, ridge, I can't tell.
+
+I weigh on the edge of the stretcher and tilt it up to get it over the
+obstacle. With the antigrav full on it keeps its momentum and goes on
+moving up. I try to check it, but the wind gets underneath.
+
+It is tugging to get away; I step blindly upwards in the effort to
+keep up with it. One foot goes on a narrow ledge, barely a toe hold. I
+am being hauled upwards. I bring the other foot up and find the top of
+a boulder, just within reach. Now the first foot--
+
+And now I am on top of the boulder, but I have lost touch with the
+cliff and the full force of the wind is pulling the stretcher upwards.
+I get one arm over it and fumble underneath for the control of the
+antigrav; I must give it weight and put it down on this boulder and
+wait for the wind to drop.
+
+Suddenly I realize that my weight is going; bending over the stretcher
+puts me in the field of the antigrav. A moment later another gust
+comes, and I realize I am rising into the air.
+
+Gripping the edge of the stretcher with one hand I reach out the
+other, trying to grasp some projection on the face of the cliff. Not
+being able to see I simply push farther away till it is out of reach.
+
+We are still rising.
+
+I pull myself up on the stretcher; there is just room for my toes on
+either side of M'Clare's legs. The wind roaring in my ears makes it
+difficult to think.
+
+Rods of light slash down at me from the edge of the cliff. For a
+moment all I can do is duck; then I realize we are still well below
+them, but rising every moment. The cliff-face is about six feet away;
+the wind reflecting from it keeps us from being blown closer.
+
+I must get the antigrav off. I let myself over the side of the
+stretcher, hanging by one hand, and fumble for the controls. I can
+just reach. Then I realize this is no use. Antigrav controls are not
+meant to go off with a click of the finger; they might get switched
+off accidentally. To work the switch and the safety you must have two
+hands, or one hand in the optimum position. My position is about as
+bad as it could be. I can stroke the switch with one finger; no more.
+
+I haul myself back on to the stretcher and realize we are only about
+six feet under the beam of light. Only one thing left. I feel in my
+pocket for the Andite. Stupidly, I am still also bending over the
+outlet valve of the helmet, trying to see whether M'Clare is still
+breathing or not.
+
+The little white cigar is not fused. I have to hold on with one hand.
+In the end I manage to stick the Andite between thumb and finger-roots
+of that hand while I use the other to find the fuse and stick it over
+the Andite. The shortest; three minutes.
+
+I think the valve is still moving--
+
+Then something drops round me; I am hauled tight against the
+stretcher; we are pulled strongly downwards with the wind buffeting
+and snatching, banged against the edge of something, and pulled
+through into silence and the dark.
+
+For a moment I do not understand; then I recognize the feel of Fragile
+Cargo, still clamping me to the stretcher, and I open my mouth and
+scream and scream.
+
+Clatter of feet. Hatch opens. Fragile Cargo goes limp.
+
+I stagger to my feet. Faint light through the hatch; B's head. I hold
+out the Andite stick and she turns and shouts; and a panel slides open
+in the wall so that the wind comes roaring in.
+
+I push the stick through and the wind snatches it away and it is gone.
+
+After that--
+
+ * * * * *
+
+After that, for a while, nothing, I suppose, though I have no
+recollection of losing consciousness; only without any sense of break
+I find I am flat on my back on one of the seats in the cabin of the
+hopper.
+
+I sit up and say "How--"
+
+B who is sitting on the floor beside me says that when the broadcaster
+was activated of course they came at once, only while they were
+waiting for the boat to reach land whole squads of land cars arrived
+and started combing the area, and some came up on top of the cliff and
+shone their headlights out over the sea so Mr. Yardo had to lurk
+against the cliff face and wait till I got into a position where he
+could pick me up and it was _frightfully_ clever of me to think of
+floating up on antigrav--
+
+I forgot about the broadcaster.
+
+I forgot about the hopper come to that, there seemed to be nothing in
+the world except me and the stretcher and the enemy.
+
+Stretcher.
+
+I say, "Is M'Clare--"
+
+At which moment Mr. Yardo turns from the controls with a wide smile of
+triumph and says "Eighteen twenty-seven, girls!" and the world goes
+weightless and swings upside down.
+
+Then still with no sense of any time-lapse I am lying in the big
+lighted hold, with the sound of trampling all round: it is somehow
+filtered and far off and despite the lights there seems to be a globe
+of darkness around my head. I hear my own voice repeating, "M'Clare?
+How's M'Clare?"
+
+A voice says distantly, without emphasis, "M'Clare? He's dead."
+
+The next time I come round it is dark. I am vaguely aware of having
+been unconscious for quite a while.
+
+There is a single thread of knowledge connecting this moment with the
+last: M'Clare's dead.
+
+This is the central factor: I seem to have been debating it with
+myself for a very long time.
+
+I suppose the truth is simply that the Universe never guarantees
+anything; life, or permanence, or that your best will be good enough.
+
+The rule is that you have to pick yourself up and go on; and lying
+here in the dark is not doing it.
+
+I turn on my side and see a cluster of self-luminous objects including
+a light switch. I reach for it.
+
+How did I get into a hospital?
+
+On second thoughts it is a cabin in the ship, or rather two of them
+with the partition torn out, I can see the ragged edge of it. There is
+a lot of paraphernalia around; I climb out to have a look.
+
+Holy horrors what's happened? Someone borrowed my legs and put them
+back wrong; my eyes also are not functioning well, the light is set at
+Minimum and I am still dazzled. I see a door and make for it to get
+Explanations from somebody.
+
+Arrived, I miss my footing and stumble against the door and on the
+other side someone says "Hello, Lizzie. Awake at last?"
+
+I think my heart stops for a moment. I can't find the latch. I am
+vaguely aware of beating something with my fists, and then the door
+gives, sticks, gives again and I stumble through and land on all fours
+the other side of it.
+
+Someone is calling: "Lizzie! Are you hurt? Where the devil have they
+all got to? Liz!"
+
+I sit up and say, "They said you were _dead_!"
+
+"_Who_ did?"
+
+"I ... I ... someone in the hold. I said How's M'Clare? and they said
+you were dead."
+
+M'Clare frowns and says gently, "Come over here and sit down quietly
+for a bit. You've been dreaming."
+
+Have I? Maybe the whole thing was a dream--but if so how far does it
+go? Going down in the heli? The missile? The boat? Crawling through
+the black tunnel of a broken ship?
+
+No, because he is sitting in a sort of improvised chaise longue and
+his legs are evidently strapped in place under the blanket; he is
+fumbling with the fastening or something.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I say "Hey! Cut that out!"
+
+He straightens up irritably.
+
+"Don't you start that, Lysistrata. I've been suffering the attentions
+of the damnedest collection of amateur nurses who ever handled a
+thermocouple, for over a week. I don't deny they've been very
+efficient, but when it comes to--"
+
+Over a _week_?
+
+He nods. "My dear Lizzie, we left Incognita ten days ago. Amateur
+nursing again! They have some unholy book of rules which says that for
+Exposure, Exhaustion and Shock the best therapy is sleep. I don't
+doubt it, but it goes on to say that in extreme cases the patient has
+been known to benefit by as much as two weeks of it. I didn't find out
+that they were trying it on you until about thirty-six hours ago when
+I began inquiring why you weren't around. They kept me under for three
+days--in fact until their infernal Handbook said it was time for my
+leg muscles to have some exercise. Miss Lammergaw was the
+ring-leader."
+
+No wonder my legs feel as though someone exchanged the muscles for
+cotton wool, just wait till I get hold of Kirsty.
+
+If it hadn't been for her, I shouldn't have spent ten days
+remembering, even in my sleep, that--
+
+I say, "Hell's feathers, it was _you_!"
+
+M'Clare makes motions as though to start getting out of his chair,
+looking seriously alarmed. I say, "It was your voice! When I asked--"
+
+M'Clare, quite definitely, starts to blush. Not much, but some.
+
+"Lizzie, I believe you're right. I have a sort of vague memory of
+someone asking how I was--and I gave what I took to be a truthful
+answer. I remember it seemed quite inconceivable that I could be
+alive. In fact I still don't understand it. Neither Yardo nor Miss
+Laydon could tell me. How _did_ you get me out of that ship?"
+
+Well, I do my best to explain, glossing over one or two points; at the
+finish he closes his eyes and says nothing for a while.
+
+Then he says, "So except for this one man who saw you, you left no
+traces at all?"
+
+Not that I know of, but--
+
+"Do you know, five minutes later there were at least twenty men in
+that bay, most of them scientists? They don't seem to have found
+anything suspicious. Visibility was bad, of course, and you can't
+leave foot-prints in shingle--"
+
+Hold on, what _is_ all this?
+
+M'Clare says, "We've had two couriers while you were asleep. Yes, I
+know it's not ordinarily possible for a ship on Mass-Time to get news.
+One of these days someone will have an interesting problem in Cultural
+Engineering, working out how to integrate some of these Space Force
+secrets into our economic and social structure without upsetting the
+whole of the known volume. Though courier boats make their crews so
+infernally sick I doubt whether the present type will ever come into
+common use. Anyway, we've had transcripts of a good many broadcasts
+from Incognita, the last dated four days ago; and as far as we can
+tell they're interpreting _Gilgamesh_ just as we meant them to.
+
+"The missile, by the way, was experimental, waiting to be test-fired
+the next day. The man in charge saw _Gilgamesh_ on the alarm screens
+and got trigger-happy. The newscasters were divided as to whether he
+should be blamed or praised; they all seem to feel he averted a
+menace, at least temporarily, but some of them think the invaders
+could have been captured alive.
+
+"The first people on the scene came from a scientific camp; you and
+Miss Laydon saw their lights on the way down. You remember that area
+is geophysically interesting? Well, by extraordinary good luck an
+international group was there studying it. They rushed straight off to
+the site of the landing--they actually saw _Gilgamesh_, and she
+registered on some of their astronomical instruments, too. They must
+be a reckless lot. What's more, they started trying to locate her on
+the sea bottom the next day. Found both pieces; they're still trying
+to locate the nose. They were all set to try raising the smaller piece
+when their governments both announced in some haste that they were
+sending a properly equipped expedition. Jointly.
+
+"There's been no mention in any newscast of anyone seeing fairies or
+sea maidens--I expect the poor devil thinks you were a hallucination."
+
+So we brought it off.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I am very thankful in a distant sort of way, but right now the
+Incognitans have no more reality for me than the Lost Kafoozalum.
+
+M'Clare came through alive.
+
+I could spend a good deal of time just getting used to that fact, but
+there is something I ought to say and I don't know how.
+
+I inquire after his injuries and learn they are healing nicely.
+
+I look at him and he is frowning.
+
+He says, "Lizzie. Just before my well-meant but ineffective attempt at
+suicide--"
+
+Here it comes.
+
+I say quick If he is worrying about all that nonsense he talked in
+order to distract my attention, forget it; I have.
+
+Silence, then he says wearily, "I talked nonsense, did I?"
+
+I say there is no need to worry, under the circumstances anyone would
+have a perfect right to be raving off his Nut.
+
+I then find I cannot bear this conversation any longer so I get up
+saying I expect he is tired and I will call someone.
+
+I get nearly to the door when
+
+"_No_, Lizzie! you can't let that crew loose on me just in order to
+change the conversation. Come back here. I appreciate your wish to
+spare my feelings, but it's wasted. We'll have this out here and now.
+
+"I remember quite well what I said, and so do you: I said that I loved
+you. I also said that I had intended to ask you to marry me as soon as
+you ceased to be one of my pupils. Well, the results of Finals were
+officially announced three days ago.
+
+"Oh, I suppose I always knew what the answer would be, but I didn't
+want to spend the rest of my life wondering, because I never had the
+guts to ask you.
+
+"You don't dislike me as you used to--you've forgiven me for making
+you come to Russett--but you still think I'm a cold-blooded
+manipulator of other people's minds and emotions. So I am; it's part
+of the job.
+
+"You're quite right to distrust me for that, though. It is the danger
+of this profession, that we end up by looking on everybody and
+everything as a subject for manipulation. Even in our personal lives.
+I always knew that: I didn't begin to be afraid of it until I realized
+I was in love with you.
+
+"I could have made you love me, Lizzie. I could! I didn't try. Not
+that I didn't want love on those terms, or any terms. But to use
+professional ... tricks ... in private life, ends by destroying all
+reality. I always treated you exactly as I treated my other
+students--I think. But I could have made you think you loved me ...
+even if I am twice your age--"
+
+This I cannot let pass, I say "Hi! According to College rumor you
+cannot be more than thirty-six; I'm twenty-three."
+
+M'Clare says in a bemused sort of way He will be thirty-seven in a
+couple of months.
+
+I say, "I will be twenty-four next week and your arithmetic is still
+screwy; and here is another datum you got wrong. I do love you. Very
+much."
+
+He says, "Golden Liz."
+
+Then other things which I remember all right, I shall keep them to
+remember any time I am tired, sick, cold, hungry Hundred-and-ninety--;
+but they are not for writing down.
+
+Then I suppose at some point we agreed it is time for me to go,
+because I find myself outside the cabin and there is Colonel
+Delano-Smith.
+
+He makes me a small speech about various matters ending that he hears
+he has to congratulate me.
+
+Huh?
+
+Oh, Space and Time did one of those unimitigated so-and-sos, my dear
+classmates, leave M'Clare's communicator on?
+
+The colonel says he heard I did very well in my Examinations.
+
+Sweet splitting photons I forgot all about Finals.
+
+It is just as well my Education has come to an honorable end, because ...
+well, shades of ... well, Goodness gracious and likewise Dear me, I am
+going to marry a _Professor_.
+
+Better just stick to it I am going to marry M'Clare, it makes better
+sense that way.
+
+But Gosh we are going to have to do some re-adjusting to a changed
+Environment. Both of us.
+
+Oh, well, M'Clare is a Professor of Cultural Engineering and I just
+past my Final Exams in same; surely if anyone can we should be able to
+work out how you live Happily Ever After?
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Lost Kafoozalum, by Pauline Ashwell
+
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+ <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" />
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+ The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Lost Kafoozalum, by Pauline Ashwell
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+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Lost Kafoozalum, by Pauline Ashwell
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Lost Kafoozalum
+
+Author: Pauline Ashwell
+
+Illustrator: Schoenherr
+
+Release Date: November 8, 2009 [EBook #30427]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LOST KAFOOZALUM ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Sankar Viswanathan, Greg Weeks, and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<div class="tr"><p class="center">Transcriber's Note:</p>
+<p class="center">This etext was produced from Analog Science Fact &amp; Fiction October 1960. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.</p></div>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<div>
+<img class="figleft" src="images/image_001_01.jpg" width="600" height="163" alt="" />
+<img class="figleft" src="images/image_001_02.jpg" width="336" height="92" alt="" />
+<img class="figleft" src="images/image_001_03.jpg" width="218" height="162" alt="" />
+</div>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p class="f1">THE LOST KAFOOZALUM</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p class="f2">by PAULINE ASHWELL</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p class="f3">Illustrated by Schoenherr</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot1"><p><i>One of the beautiful things about a delusion is that no
+matter how mad someone gets at it ... he can't do it any
+harm. Therefore a delusion can be a fine thing for prodding
+angry belligerents....</i></p></div>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<div class="figleft1"><img src="images/image_i.jpg" alt="I" width="51" height="50" /></div>
+<p>&nbsp; remember some bad times, most of them back home on Excenus 23; the
+worst was when Dad fell under the reaping machine but there was also
+the one when I got lost twenty miles from home with a dud radio, at
+the age of twelve; and the one when Uncle Charlie caught me practicing
+emergency turns in a helicar round the main weather-maker; and the one
+on Figuerra being chased by a cyber-crane; and the time when Dad
+decided to send me to Earth to do my Education.</p>
+
+<p>This time is bad in a different way, with no sharp edges but a kind of
+a desolation.</p>
+
+<p>Most people I know are feeling bad just now, because at Russett
+College we finished our Final Examination five days ago and Results
+are not due for a two weeks.</p>
+
+<p>My friend B Laydon says this is yet another Test anyone still sane at
+the end being proved tough enough to break a molar on; she says also
+The worst part is in bed remembering all the things she could have
+written and did not; The second worst is also in bed picturing how to
+explain to her parents when they get back to Earth that <i>someone</i> has
+to come bottom and in a group as brilliant as Russett College Cultural
+Engineering Class this is really no disgrace.</p>
+
+<p>I am not worried that way so much, I cannot remember what I wrote
+anyway and I can think of one or two people I am pretty sure will come
+bottomer than me&mdash;or B either.</p>
+
+<p>I would prefer to think it is just Finals cause me to feel miserable
+but it is not.</p>
+
+<p>In Psychology they taught us The mind has the faculty of concealing
+any motive it is ashamed of, especially from itself; seems
+unfortunately mine does not have this gadget supplied.</p>
+
+<p>I never wanted to come to Earth. I was sent to Russett against my will
+and counting the days till I could get back to Home, Father and
+Excensus 23, but the sad truth is that now the longed-for moment is
+nearly on top of me I do not want to go.</p>
+
+<p>Dad's farm was a fine place to grow up, but now I had four years on
+Earth the thought of going back there makes me feel like a
+three-weeks' chicken got to get back in its shell.</p>
+
+<p>B and I are on an island in the Pacific. Her parents are on Caratacus
+researching on local art forms, so she and I came here to be miserable
+in company and away from the rest.</p>
+
+<p>It took me years on Earth to get used to all this water around, it
+seemed unnatural and dangerous to have it all lying loose that way,
+but now I shall miss even the Sea.</p>
+
+<p>The reason we have this long suspense over Finals is that they will
+not use Reading Machines to mark the papers for fear of cutting down
+critical judgement; so each paper has to be read word by word by three
+Examiners and there are forty-three of us and we wrote six papers
+each.</p>
+
+<p>What I think is I am sorry for the Examiners, but B says they were the
+ones who set the papers and it serves them perfectly right.</p>
+
+<p>I express surprise because D. J. M'Clare our Professor is one of them,
+but B says He is one of the greatest men in the galaxy, of course, but
+she gave up thinking him perfect <i>years</i> ago.</p>
+
+<p>One of the main attractions on this Island is swimming under water,
+especially by moonlight. Dad sent me a fish-boat as a birthday present
+two years back, but I never used it yet on account of my
+above-mentioned attitude to water. Now I got this feeling of Carpe
+Diem, make the most of Earth while I am on it because probably I shall
+not pass this way again.</p>
+
+<p>The fourth day on the Island it is full moon at ten o'clock, so I
+pluck up courage to wriggle into the boat and go out under the Sea. B
+says Fish parading in and out of reefs just remind her of Cultural
+Engineering&mdash;crowd behavior&mdash;so she prefers to turn in early and find
+out what nightmares her subconscious will throw up <i>this</i> time.</p>
+
+<p>The reefs by moonlight are everything they are supposed to be, why did
+I not do this often when I had the chance? I stay till my oxygen is
+nearly gone, then come out and sadly press the button that collapses
+the boat into a thirty-pound package of plastic hoops and oxygen cans.
+I sling it on my back and head for the chalet B and I hired among the
+coconut trees.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>I am crossing an open space maybe fifty yards from it when a Thing
+drops on me out of the air.</p>
+
+<p>I do not see the Thing because part of it covers my face, and the rest
+is grabbed round my arms and my waist and my hips and whatever, I
+cannot see and I cannot scream and I cannot find anything to kick. The
+Thing is strong and rubbery and many-armed and warmish, and less than
+a second after I first feel it I am being hauled up into the air.</p>
+
+<p>I do not care for this at all.</p>
+
+<p>I am at least fifty feet up before it occurs to me to bite the hand
+that gags me and then I discover it is plastic, not alive at all. Then
+I feel self and encumberance scraping through some kind of aperture;
+there is a sharp click as of a door closing and the Thing goes limp
+all round me.</p>
+
+<p>I spit out the bit I am biting and it drops away so that I can see.</p>
+
+<p>Well!</p>
+
+<p>I am in a kind of a cup-shaped space maybe ten feet across but not
+higher than I am; there is a trap door in the ceiling; the Thing is
+lying all around me in a mess of plastic arms, with an extensible
+stalk connecting it to the wall. I kick free and it turns over
+exposing the label FRAGILE CARGO right across the back.</p>
+
+<p>The next thing I notice is two holdalls, B's and mine, clamped against
+the wall, and the next after that is the opening of a trap door in the
+ceiling and B's head silhouetted in it remarking Oh there you are Liz.</p>
+
+<p>I confirm this statement and ask for explanations.</p>
+
+<p>B says She doesn't understand all of it but it is all right.</p>
+
+<p>It is not all right I reply, if she has joined some Society such as
+for the Realization of Fictitious Improbabilities that is her
+privilege but no reason to involve me.</p>
+
+<p>B says Why do I not stop talking and come up and see for myself?</p>
+
+<p>There is a slight hitch when I jam in the trap door, then B helps me
+get the boat off my back and I drop it on the Fragile Cargo and emerge
+into the cabin of a Hopper, drop-shaped, cargo-carrying; I have been
+in its hold till now.</p>
+
+<p>There are one or two peculiar points about it, or maybe one or two
+hundred, such as the rate at which we are ascending which seems to be
+bringing us right into the Stratosphere; but the main thing I notice
+is the pilot. He has his back to us but is recognizably Ram Gopal who
+graduated in Cultural Engineering last year, Rumor says next to top of
+his class.</p>
+
+<p>I ask him what kind of a melodramatic shenanigan is this?</p>
+
+<p>B says We had to leave quietly in a hurry without attracting attention
+so she booked us out at the Hotel <i>hours</i> ago and she and Ram have
+been hanging around waiting for me ever since.</p>
+
+<p>I point out that the scope-trace of an Unidentified Flying Object will
+occasion a lot more remark than a normal departure even at midnight.</p>
+
+<p>At this Ram smiles in an inscrutable Oriental manner and B gets nearly
+as cross as I do, seems she has mentioned this point before.</p>
+
+<p>We have not gone into it properly when the cabin suddenly shifts
+through a right angle. B and I go sliding down the vertical floor and
+end sitting on a window. There is a jolt and a shudder and Ram mutters
+things in Hindi and then suddenly Up is nowhere at all.</p>
+
+<p>B and I scramble off the window and grab fixtures so as to stay put.
+The stars have gone and we can see nothing except the dim glow over
+the instruments; then suddenly lights go on outside.</p>
+
+<p>We look out into the hold of a ship.</p>
+
+<p>Our ten-foot teardrop is sitting next to another one, like two eggs
+in a rack. On the other side is a bulkhead; behind, the curve of the
+hull; and directly ahead an empty space, then another bulkhead and an
+open door, through which after a few seconds a head pokes cautiously.</p>
+
+<p>The head is then followed by a body which kicks off against the wall
+and sails slowly towards us. Ram presses a stud and a door slides open
+in the hopper; but the new arrival stops himself with a hand on either
+side of the frame, his legs trailing any old how behind him. It is
+Peter Yeng Sen who graduated the year I did my Field Work.</p>
+
+<p>He says, Gopal, dear fellow, there was no need for the knocking, we
+heard the bell all right.</p>
+
+<p>Ram grumbles something about the guide beam being miss-set, and slides
+out of his chair. Peter announces that we have only just made it as
+the deadline is in seven minutes time; he waves B and me out of the
+hopper, through the door and into a corridor where a certain irregular
+vibration is coming from the walls.</p>
+
+<p>Ram asks what is that tapping? And Peter sighs and says The present
+generation of students has no discipline at all.</p>
+
+<p>At this B brakes with one hand against the wall and cocks her head to
+listen; next moment she laughs and starts banging with her fist on the
+wall.</p>
+
+<p>Peter exclaims in Mandarin and tows her away by one wrist like a
+reluctant kite. The rapping starts again on the far side of the wall
+and I suddenly recognize a primitive signaling system called Regret
+or something, I guess because it was used by people in situations they
+did not like such as Sinking ships or solitary confinement; it is done
+by tapping water pipes and such.</p>
+
+<p>Someone found it in a book and the more childish element in College
+learned it up for signaling during compulsory lectures. Interest
+waning abruptly when the lecturers started to learn it, too.</p>
+
+<p>I never paid much attention not expecting to be in Solitary
+confinement much; this just shows you; next moment Ram opens a door
+and pushes me through it, the door clicks behind me and Solitary
+confinement is what I am in.</p>
+
+<p>I remember this code is really called Remorse which is what I feel for
+not learning when I had the chance.</p>
+
+<p>However I do not have long for it, a speaker in the wall requests
+everyone to lie down as acceleration is about to begin. I strap down
+on the couch which fills half the compartment, countdown begins and at
+zero the floor is suddenly <i>down</i> once more.</p>
+
+<p>I wait till my stomach settles, then rise to explore.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>I am in an oblong room about eight by twelve, it looks as though it
+had been hastily partitioned off from a larger space. The walls are
+prefab plastic sheet, the rest is standard fittings slung in and
+bolted down with the fastenings showing.</p>
+
+<p>How many of my classmates are on this ship? <i>Remorse</i> again as
+tapping starts on either side of me.</p>
+
+<p>Discarding such Hypotheses as that Ram and Peter are going to hold us
+to ransom&mdash;which might work for me, since my Dad somehow got to be a
+millionaire, but not for B because her parents think money is
+vulgar&mdash;or that we are being carried off to found an ideal Colony
+somewhere&mdash;any first-year student can tell you why that won't
+work&mdash;only one idea seems plausible.</p>
+
+<p>This is that Finals were not final and we are in for a Test of some
+sort.</p>
+
+<p>After ten minutes I get some evidence; a Reading Machine is trundled
+in, the door immediately slamming shut so I do not see who trundles
+it.</p>
+
+<p>I prowl round it looking for tricks but it seems standard; I take a
+seat in it, put on the headset and turn the switch.</p>
+
+<p>Hypothesis confirmed, I suppose.</p>
+
+<p>There is a reel in place and it contains background information on a
+problem in Cultural Engineering all set out the way we are taught to
+do it in Class. The Problem concerns developments on a planet got
+settled by two groups during the Exodus and been isolated ever since.</p>
+
+<p>Well while a Reading Machine is running there is no time to think, it
+crams in data at full speed and evaluation has to wait. However my
+subconscious goes into action and when the reel stops it produces a
+Suspicion full grown.</p>
+
+<p>The thing is too tidy.</p>
+
+<p>When we were First Year we dreamed up situations like this and argued
+like mad over them, but they were a lot too neat for real life and too
+dramatic as well.</p>
+
+<p>However one thing M'Clare said to us, and every other lecturer too,
+just before the Finals, was Do not spend time trying to figure what
+the examiner was after but answer the question as set; I am more than
+halfway decided this is some mysterious Oriental idea of a joke but I
+get busy thinking in case it is not.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>The Problem goes like this:</p>
+
+<p>The planet is called Incognita in the reel and it is right on the edge
+of the known volume of space, it got settled by two groups somewhere
+between three and three and a half centuries ago. The rest of the
+human race never heard of it till maybe three years back.</p>
+
+<p>(Well it happens that way, inhabited planets are still turning up
+eight or ten a century, on account of during the Exodus some folk were
+willing to travel a year or more so as to get away from the rest).</p>
+
+<p>The ship that spotted the planet as inhabited did not land, but
+reported to Central Government, Earth, who shipped observers out to
+take a look.</p>
+
+<p>(There was a rumor circulating at Russett that the Terry Government
+might employ some of us on that kind of job, but it never got
+official. I do not know whether to believe this bit or not.)</p>
+
+<p>It is stated the observers landed secretly and mingled with the
+natives unobserved.</p>
+
+<p>(This is not physically impossible but sounds too like a Field Trip to
+be true.)</p>
+
+<p>The observers are not named but stated to be graduates of the Cultural
+Engineering Class.</p>
+
+<p>They put in a few months' work and sent home unanimous Crash Priority
+reports the situation is <i>bad</i>, getting worse and the prognosis is
+War.</p>
+
+<p>Brother.</p>
+
+<p>I know people had wars, I know one reason we do not have them now is
+just that with so many planets and cheap transportation, pressure has
+other outlets; these people scrapped their ships for factories and
+never built more.</p>
+
+<p>But.</p>
+
+<p>There are only about ten million of them and surely to goodness a
+whole planet gives room enough to keep out of each other's hair?</p>
+
+<p>Well this is not Reasoning but a Reaction, I go back to the data for
+another look.</p>
+
+<p>The root trouble is stated to be that two groups landed on the planet
+without knowing the others were there, when they met thirty years
+later they got a disagreeable shock.</p>
+
+<p>I cannot see there was any basic difference between them, they were
+very similar, especially in that neither lot wanted anything to do
+with people they had not picked themselves.</p>
+
+<p>So they divided the planet along a Great Circle which left two of the
+main land-masses in one hemisphere and two in another.</p>
+
+<p>They agree each to keep to its own section and leave the other alone.</p>
+
+<p>Twenty years later, trading like mad; each has certain minerals the
+other lacks; each has certain agricultural products the other finds it
+difficult to grow.</p>
+
+<p>You think this leads to Co-operation Friendship and ultimate
+Federation?</p>
+
+<p>I will not go into the incidents that make each side feel it is being
+gypped, it is enough that from time to time each has a scarcity or
+hold-up on deliveries that upsets the other's economy; and they start
+experimenting to become self-sufficient: and the exporter's economy is
+upset in turn. And each thinks the other did it on purpose.</p>
+
+<p>This sort of situation reacts internally leading to Politics.</p>
+
+<p>There are troubles about a medium-sized island on the dividing line,
+and the profits from interhemispherical transport, and the laws of
+interhemispherical trade.</p>
+
+<p>It takes maybe two hundred years, but finally each has expanded the
+Police into an army with a whole spectrum of weapons not to be used on
+any account except for Defense.</p>
+
+<p>This situation lasts seventy years getting worse all the time, now
+Rumors have started on each side that the other is developing an
+Ultimate Weapon, and the political parties not in power are agitating
+to move first before the thing is complete.</p>
+
+<p>The observers report War not maybe this year or the next but within
+ten, and if neither side was looking for an Ultimate Weapon to begin
+with they certainly are now.</p>
+
+<p>Taking all this at face value there seems an obvious solution.</p>
+
+<p>I am thinking this over in an academic sort of way when an itchy
+trickle of sweat starts down my vertebrae.</p>
+
+<p>Who is going to apply this solution? Because if this is anything but
+another Test, or the output of a diseased sense of humor, I would be
+sorry for somebody.</p>
+
+<p>I dial black coffee on the wall servitor and wish B were here so we
+could prove to each other the thing is just an exercise; I do not do
+so well at spotting proofs on my own.</p>
+
+<p>Most of our class exercises have concerned something that happened,
+once.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>After about ninety minutes the speaker requests me to write not more
+than one thousand words on any scheme to improve the situation and the
+equipment required for it.</p>
+
+<p>I spent ten minutes verbalizing the basic idea and an hour or so on
+"equipment"; the longer I go on the more unlikely it all seems. In the
+end I have maybe two hundred words which acting on instructions I post
+through a slit in the door.</p>
+
+<p>Five minutes later I realize I have forgotten the Time Factor.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<img src="images/image_002.jpg" width="400" height="296" alt="" />
+</div>
+
+<p>If the original ship took a year to reach Incognita, it will take at
+least four months now; therefore it is more than four months since
+that report was written and will be more than a year before anyone
+arrives and War may have started already.</p>
+
+<p>I sit back and by transition of ideas start to wonder where this ship
+is heading? We are still at one gee and even on Mass-Time you cannot
+juggle apparent acceleration and spatial transition outside certain
+limits; we are not just orbiting but must be well outside the Solar
+System by now.</p>
+
+<p>The speaker announces Everyone will now get some rest; I smell
+sleep-gas for one moment and have just time to lie down.</p>
+
+<p>I guess I was tired, at that.</p>
+
+<p>When I wake I feel more cheerful than I have for weeks; analysis
+indicates I am glad something is <i>happening</i> even if it is another
+Exam.</p>
+
+<p>I dial breakfast but am too restless to eat; I wonder how long this
+goes on or whether I am supposed to show Initiative and break out; I
+am examining things with this in mind when the speaker comes to life
+again.</p>
+
+<p>It says, "Ladies and gentlemen. You have not been told whether the
+problem that you studied yesterday concerned a real situation or an
+imaginary one. You have all outlined measures which you think would
+improve the situation described. Please consider, seriously, whether
+you would be prepared to take part yourself in the application of your
+plan."</p>
+
+<p>Brother.</p>
+
+<p>There is no way to tell whether those who say No will be counted
+cowardly or those who say Yes rash idiots or what, the owner of that
+voice has his inflections too well trained to give anything away
+except intentionally.</p>
+
+<p>D. J. M'Clare.</p>
+
+<p>Not in person but a recording, anyway M'Clare is on Earth surrounded
+by exam papers.</p>
+
+<p>I sit back and try to think, honestly, if that crack-brained notion I
+wrote out last night were going to be tried in dead earnest, would I
+take a hand in it?</p>
+
+<p>The trouble is, hearing M'Clare's voice has convinced me it is a Test,
+I don't know whether it is testing my courage or my prudence in fact I
+might as well toss for it.</p>
+
+<p>Heads I am crazy, Tails a defaulter; Tails is what it is.</p>
+
+<p>I seize my styler and write the decision down.</p>
+
+<p>There is the slit in the door.</p>
+
+<p>I twiddle the note and think Well nobody asked for it yet.</p>
+
+<p>Suppose it is real, after all?</p>
+
+<p>I remember the itchy, sweaty feeling I got yesterday and try to
+picture really embarking on a thing like this, but I cannot work up
+any lather today.</p>
+
+<p>I begin to picture M'Clare reading my decision not to back up my own
+idea.</p>
+
+<p>I pick up the coin and juggle it around.</p>
+
+<p>The speaker remarks When I am quite ready will I please make a note
+of my decision and post it through the door.</p>
+
+<p>I go on flipping the coin up and presently it drops on the floor, it
+is Heads this time.</p>
+
+<p>Tossing coins is a pretty feeble way to decide.</p>
+
+<p>I drop the note on the floor and take another sheet and write "YES.
+Lysistrata Lee."</p>
+
+<p>Using that name seems to make it more legal.</p>
+
+<p>I slip the paper in the slit and poke till it falls through on the
+other side of the door.</p>
+
+<p>I am suddenly immensely hungry and dial breakfast all over again.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>Just as I finish M'Clare's voice starts once more.</p>
+
+<p>"It's always the minor matters that cause the most difficulty. The
+timing of this announcement has cost me as much thought as any aspect
+of the arrangements. The trouble is that however honest you are&mdash;and
+your honesty has been tested repeatedly&mdash;and however strong your
+imagination&mdash;about half of your training has been devoted to
+developing it&mdash;you can't possibly be sure, answering a hypothetical
+question, that you are giving the answer you would choose if you knew
+it was asked in dead earnest.</p>
+
+<p>"Those of you who answered the question in the negative are out of
+this. They have been told that it was a test, of an experimental
+nature, and have been asked to keep the whole thing a secret. They
+will be returning to Earth in a few hours' time. I ask the rest of
+you to think it over once again. Your decision is still private. Only
+the two people who gathered you together know which members of the
+class are in this ship. The list of possible helpers was compiled by a
+computer. I haven't seen it myself.</p>
+
+<p>"You have a further half hour in which to make up your minds finally.
+Please remember that if you have any private reservations on the
+matter, or if you are secretly afraid, you may endanger us all. You
+all know enough psychology to realize this.</p>
+
+<p>"If you still decide in favor of the project, write your name on a
+slip of paper and post it as before. If you are not absolutely certain
+about it, do nothing. Please think it over for half an hour."</p>
+
+<p>Me, I had enough thinking. I write my name&mdash;just L. Lee&mdash;and post it
+straight away.</p>
+
+<p>However I cannot stop thinking altogether. I guess I think very hard,
+in fact. My Subconscious insists afterwards that it did register the
+plop as something came through the slit, but my Conscious failed to
+notice it at all.</p>
+
+<p>Hours later&mdash;my watch says twenty-five minutes but I guess the
+Mass-Time has affected it&mdash;anyway I had three times too much solitary
+confinement&mdash;when will they let me out of here?&mdash;there is a knock at
+the door and a second later it slides apart.</p>
+
+<p>I am expecting Ram or Peter so it takes me an appreciable fraction of
+a moment to realize I am seeing D. J. M'Clare.</p>
+
+<p>Then I remember he is back on Earth buried in Exam papers and
+conclude I am having a hallucination.</p>
+
+<p>This figment of my imagination says politely, "Do you mind if I sit
+down?"</p>
+
+<p>He collapses on the couch as though thoroughly glad of it.</p>
+
+<p>It is a strange thing, every time I see M'Clare I am startled all over
+again at how good-looking he is; seems I forget it between times which
+is maybe why I never fell for him as most female students do.</p>
+
+<p>However what strikes me this time is that he looks tired,
+three-days-sleepless tired with worries on top.</p>
+
+<p>I guess he is real, at that.</p>
+
+<p>He says, "Don't look so accusing, Lizzie, I only just got on this ship
+myself."</p>
+
+<p>This does not make sense; you cannot just arrive on a ship twenty-four
+hours after it goes on Mass-Time; or can you?</p>
+
+<p>M'Clare leans back and closes his eyes and inquires whether I am one
+of the Morse enthusiasts?</p>
+
+<p>So that is the name; I say when we get back I will learn it first
+thing.</p>
+
+<p>"Well," says he, "I did my best to arrange privacy for all of you;
+with so many ingenious idiots on board I'm not really surprised that
+they managed to circumvent me. I had to cheat and check that you
+really were on the list; and I knew that whoever backed out you'd
+still be on board."</p>
+
+<p>So I should hope he might: Horrors there is my first answer screwed
+up on the floor and Writing side top-most.</p>
+
+<p>However he has not noticed it, he goes on "Anyway you of all people
+won't be thought to have dropped out because you were afraid."</p>
+
+<p>I have just managed to hook my heel over the note and get it out of
+sight, M'Clare has paused for an answer and I have to dredge my
+Sub-threshold memories for&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>WHAT?</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>M'Clare opens his eyes and says like I am enacting Last Straw, "Have
+some sense, Lizzie." Then in a different tone, "Ram says he gave you
+the letter half an hour ago."</p>
+
+<p>What letter?</p>
+
+<p>My brain suddenly registers a small pale patch been occupying a corner
+of my retina for the last half hour; it turns out to be a letter
+postmarked Excenus 23.</p>
+
+<p>I disembowel it with one jerk. It is from my Dad and runs like this:</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>My dear Liz,</p>
+
+<p>Thank you for your last letter, glad you are keeping fit and
+so am I.</p>
+
+<p>I just got a letter from your College saying you will get a
+degree conferred on you on September 12th and parents if on
+Earth will be welcome.</p>
+
+<p>Well Liz this I got to see and Charlie says the same, but
+the letter says too Terran Authority will not give a permit
+to visit Earth just for this, so I wangled on to a
+Delegation which is coming to discuss trade with the
+Department of Commerce. Charlie and I will be arriving on
+Earth on August 24th.</p>
+
+<p>Liz it is good to think I shall be seeing you again after
+four years. There are some things about your future I meant
+to write to Professor M'Clare about, but now I shall be able
+to talk it over direct. Please give him my regards.</p>
+
+<p>Be seeing you Lizzie girl, your affectionate Dad</p></div>
+
+<p class="f4">J. X. Lee.</p>
+
+<p>Dear old Dad, after all these years farming with a weather-maker on a
+drydust planet I want to see his face the first time he sees real
+rain.</p>
+
+<p>Hell's fires and shades of darkness, I shan't be there!</p>
+
+<p>M'Clare says, "Your father wrote to me saying that he will be arriving
+on Earth on 24th August. I take it your letter says the same. I came
+on a dispatch boat; you can go back on it."</p>
+
+<p><i>Now</i> what is he talking about? Then I get the drift.</p>
+
+<p>I say, "Look. So Dad will be on Earth before we get back. What
+difference does that make?"</p>
+
+<p>"You can't let him arrive and find you missing."</p>
+
+<p>Well I admit to a qualm at the thought of Dad let loose on Earth
+without me, but after all Uncle Charlie is a born Terrie and can keep
+him in line; Hell he is old enough to look after himself anyway.</p>
+
+<p>"You met my Dad," I point out. "You think J. X. Lee would want any
+daughter of his backing out on a job so as to hold his hand? I can
+send him a letter saying I am off on a job or a Test or whatever I
+please and hold everything till I get back; what are you doing about
+people's families on Earth already?"</p>
+
+<p>M'Clare says we were all selected as having families not on Earth at
+present, and I must go back.</p>
+
+<p>I say like Hell I will.</p>
+
+<p>He says he is my official guardian and responsible for me.</p>
+
+<p>I say he is just as responsible for everyone else on this ship.</p>
+
+<p>I spent years and years trying to think up a remark would really get
+home to M'Clare; well I have done it now.</p>
+
+<p>I say, "Look. You are tired and worried and maybe not thinking so well
+just now.</p>
+
+<p>"I know this is a very risky job, don't think I missed that at all. I
+tried hard to imagine it like you said over the speaker. I cannot
+quite imagine dying but I know how Dad will feel if I do.</p>
+
+<p>"I did my level best to scare myself sick, then I decided it is just
+plain worth the risk anyway.</p>
+
+<p>"To work out a thing like this you have to have a kind of arithmetic,
+you add in everybody's feelings with the other factors, then if you
+get a plus answer you forget everything else and go right ahead.</p>
+
+<p>"I am not going to think about it any more, because I added up the sum
+and got the answer and upsetting my nerves won't help. I guess you
+worked out the sum, too. You decided four million people were worth
+risking twenty, even if they do have parents. Even if they are your
+students. So they are, too, and you gave us all a chance to say No.</p>
+
+<p>"Well nothing has altered that, only now the values look different to
+you because you are tired and worried and probably missed breakfast,
+too."</p>
+
+<p>Brother some speech, I wonder what got into me? M'Clare is wondering,
+too, or maybe gone to sleep sitting, it is some time before he answers
+me.</p>
+
+<p>"Miss Lee, you are deplorably right on one thing at least. I don't
+know whether I was fit to make such a decision when I made it, but I'm
+not fit now. As far as you personally are concerned...." He trails off
+looking tireder than ever, then picks up again suddenly. "You are
+again quite right, I am every bit as responsible for the other people
+on board as I am for you."</p>
+
+<p>He climbs slowly to his feet and walks out without another word.</p>
+
+<p>The door is left open and I take this as an invitation to freedom and
+shoot through in case it was a mistake.</p>
+
+<p>No because Ram is opening doors all along the corridor and ten of
+Russett's brightest come pouring out like mercury finding its own
+level and coalesce in the middle of the floor.</p>
+
+<p>The effect of release is such that after four minutes Peter Yeng Sen's
+head appears at the top of a stairway and he says the crew is lifting
+the deck plates, will we for Time's sake go along to the Conference
+Room which is soundproof.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>The Conference Room is on the next deck and like our cabins shows
+signs of hasty construction; the soundproofing is there but the
+acoustics are kind of muffled and the generator is not boxed in but
+has cables trailing all over, and the fastenings have a strong but
+temporary look.</p>
+
+<p>Otherwise there is a big table and a lot of chairs and a small
+projection box in front of each with a note-taker beside.</p>
+
+<p>It is maybe this very functional setup or maybe the dead flatness of
+our voices in the damped room, but we do not have so much to talk
+about any more. We automatically take places at the table, all at one
+end, leaving seven vacant chairs near the door.</p>
+
+<p>Looking round, I wonder what principle we were selected on.</p>
+
+<p>Of my special friends Eru Te Whangoa and Kirsty Lammergaw are present
+but Lily Chen and Likofo Komom'baratse and Jean LeBrun are not; we
+have Cray Patterson who is one of my special enemies but not Blazer
+Weigh or the Astral Cad; the rest are P. Zapotec, Nick Howard, Aro
+Mestah, Dillie Dixie, Pavel Christianovitch, Lennie DiMaggio and
+Shootright Crow.</p>
+
+<p>Eru is at the end of the table, opposite the door, and maybe feels
+this position puts it up to him to start the discussion; he opens by
+remarking "So nobody took the opportunity to withdraw."</p>
+
+<p>Cray Patterson lifts his eyebrows ceilingwards and drawls out that the
+decision was supposed to be a private one.</p>
+
+<p>B says "Maybe but it did not work out that way, everyone who learned
+Morse knows who was on the ship, anyway they are all still here so
+what does it matter? And M'Clare would not have picked people who were
+going to funk it, after all."</p>
+
+<p>My chair gets a kick on the ankle which I suppose was meant for B; Eru
+is six foot five but even his legs do not quite reach; he is the only
+one of us facing the door.</p>
+
+<p>M'Clare has somehow shed his weariness; he looks stern but fresh as a
+daisy. There are four with him; Ram and Peter looking serious, one
+stranger in Evercleans looking determined to enjoy the party and
+another in uniform looking as though nothing would make him.</p>
+
+<p>M'Clare introduces the strangers as Colonel Delano-Smith and Mr.
+Yardo. They all sit down at the other end of the table; then he frowns
+at us and begins like this:</p>
+
+<p>"Miss Laydon is mistaken. You were not selected on any such grounds as
+she suggests. I may say that I was astonished at the readiness with
+which you all engaged yourselves to take part in such a desperate
+gamble; and, seeing that for the last four years I have been trying to
+persuade you that it is worth while, before making a decision of any
+importance, to spend a certain amount of thought on it, I was
+discouraged as well."</p>
+
+<p>Oh.</p>
+
+<p>"The criterion upon which you were selected was a very simple one. As
+I told you, you were picked not by me but by a computer; the one in
+the College Office which registers such information as your home
+addresses and present whereabouts. You are simply that section of the
+class which could be picked up without attracting attention, because
+you all happened to be on holiday by yourselves or with other members
+of the class; and because your nearest relatives are not on Earth at
+present."</p>
+
+<p>Oh, well.</p>
+
+<p>All of us can see M'Clare is doing a job of deflation on us for
+reasons of his own, but it works for all that.</p>
+
+<p>He now seems to feel the job is complete and relaxes a bit.</p>
+
+<p>"I was interested to see that you all, without exception, hit on
+variations of the same idea. It is of course the obvious way to deal
+with the problem." He smiles at us suddenly and I get mad at myself
+because I know he is following the rules for introducing a desired
+state of mind, but I am responding as meant. "I'll read you the most
+succinct expression of it; you may be able to guess the author."</p>
+
+<p>Business with bits of paper.</p>
+
+<p>"Here it is. I quote: 'Drag in some outsider looks like he is going
+for both sides; they will gang up on him.'"</p>
+
+<p>Yells of laughter and shouts of "Lizzie Lee!" even the two strangers
+produce sympathetic grins; I do not find it so funny as all that
+myself.</p>
+
+<p>"Ideas as to the form the 'outsider' should take were more varied.
+This is a matter I propose to leave you to work out together, with the
+assistance of Colonel Delano-Smith and Mr. Yardo. Te Whangoa, you
+take the chair."</p>
+
+<p>Exit M'Clare.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>This leaves the two halves of the table eying one another. Ram and
+Peter have been through this kind of session in their time; now they
+are leaning back preparing to watch us work. It is plain we are
+supposed to impress the abilities of Russett near-graduates on the two
+strangers, and for some moments we are all occupied taking them in.
+Colonel Delano-Smith is a small, neat guy with a face that has all the
+muscular machinery for producing an expression; he just doesn't care
+to use it. Mr. Yardo is taller than any of us except Eru and flesh is
+spread very thin on his bones, including his face which splits now and
+then in a grin like an affable skeleton. Where the colonel fits is
+guessable enough, Mr. Yardo is presumably Expert at something but no
+data on <i>what</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Eru rests his hands on the table and says we had better start; will
+somebody kindly outline an idea for making the Incognitans "gang up"?
+The simpler the better and it does not matter whether it is workable
+or not; pulling it to pieces will give us a start.</p>
+
+<p>We all wait to see who will rush in; then I catch Eru's eye and see I
+am elected Clown again. I say "Send them a letter postmarked Outer
+Space signed BEM saying we lost our own planet in a nova and will take
+over theirs two weeks from Tuesday."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Yardo utters a sharp "Ha! Ha!" but it is not seconded; the
+colonel having been expressionless all along becomes more so; Eru
+says, "Thank you, Lizzie." He looks across at Cray who is opposite me;
+Cray says there are many points on which he might comment; to take
+only one, two weeks from Tuesday leaves little time for 'ganging up',
+and what happens when the BEMs fail to come?</p>
+
+<p>We are suddenly back in the atmosphere of a seminar; Eru's glance
+moves to P. Zapotec sitting next to Cray, and he says, "These BEMs who
+lost their home planet in a nova, how many ships have they? Without a
+base they cannot be very dangerous unless their fleet is very large."</p>
+
+<p>It goes round the table.</p>
+
+<p>Pavel: "How would BEMs learn to write?"</p>
+
+<p>Nick: "How are they supposed to know that Incognita is inhabited? How
+do they address the letter?"</p>
+
+<p>The Crow: "Huh. Why write letters? Invaders just invade."</p>
+
+<p>Kirsty: "We don't want to inflame these people against alien races. We
+might find one some day. It seems to me this idea might have all sorts
+of undesirable by-products. Suppose each side regards it as a ruse on
+the part of the other. We might touch off a war instead of preventing
+it. Suppose they turn over to preparations for repelling the invaders,
+to an extent that cripples their economy? Suppose a panic starts?"</p>
+
+<p>Dilly: "Say, Mr. Chairman, is there any of this idea left at all? How
+about an interim summary?"</p>
+
+<p>Eru coughs to get a moment for thought, then says:</p>
+
+<p>"In brief, the problem is to provide a menace against which the two
+groups will be forced to unite. It must have certain characteristics.</p>
+
+<p>"It must be sufficiently far off in time for the threat to last
+several years, long enough to force them into a real combination.</p>
+
+<p>"It must obviously be a plausible danger and they must get to know of
+it in a plausible manner. Invasion from outside is the only threat so
+far suggested.</p>
+
+<p>"It must be a limited threat. That is, it must appear to come from one
+well-defined group. The rest of the Universe should appear benevolent
+or neutral."</p>
+
+<p>He just stops, rather as though there is something else to come; while
+the rest of us are waiting B sticks her oar in to the following
+effect.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, but look, suppose this goes wrong; it's all very well to make
+plans but suppose we get some of Kirsty's side-effects just the same,
+well what I mean is suppose it makes the mess worse instead of better
+we want some way we can sort of switch it off again.</p>
+
+<p>"Look this is just an illustration, but suppose the Menace was
+pirates, if it went wrong we could have an Earth ship make official
+contact and they could just happen to say By the way have you seen
+anything of some pirates, Earth fleet wiped them up in this sector
+about six months ago.</p>
+
+<p>"That would mean the whole crew conniving, so it won't do, but you
+see what I mean."</p>
+
+<p>There is a bit of silence, then Aro says, "I think we should start
+fresh. We have had criticisms of Lizzie's suggestion, which was not
+perhaps wholly serious, and as Dilly says there is little of it left,
+except the idea of a threat of invasion. The idea of an alien
+intelligent race has objections and would be very difficult to fake.
+The invaders must be men from another planet. Another unknown one. But
+how do the people of Incognita come to know that they exist?"</p>
+
+<p>More silence, then I hear my own voice speaking although it was my
+intention to keep quiet for once: it sounds kind of creaky and it
+says: "A ship. A crashed ship from Outside."</p>
+
+<p>Whereupon another voice says, "Really! Am I expected to swallow this?"</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>We had just about forgotten the colonel, not to mention Mr. Yardo who
+contributes another "Ha! Ha!" so this reminder comes as a slight
+shock, nor do we see what he is talking about but this he proceeds to
+explain.</p>
+
+<p>"I don't know why M'Clare thought it necessary to stage this
+discussion. I am already acquainted with his plan and have had orders
+to co-operate. I have expressed my opinion on using undergraduates in
+a job like this and have been overruled. If he, or you, imagine that
+priming you to bring out his ideas like this is going to reconcile me
+to the whole business you are mistaken. He might have chosen a more
+suitable mouthpiece than that child with the curly hair&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>Here everybody wishes to reply at once; the resulting jam produces a
+moment of silence and I get in first.</p>
+
+<p>"As for curly hair I am rising twenty-four and I was only saying what
+we all thought, if we have the same ideas as M'Clare that is because
+he taught us for four years. How else would you set about it anyway?"</p>
+
+<p>My fellow students pick up their stylers and tap solemnly three times
+on the table; this is the Russett equivalent of "Hear! Hear!" and the
+colonel is surprised.</p>
+
+<p>Eru says coldly, "This discussion has not been rehearsed. As Lizzie
+... as Miss Lee says, we have been working and thinking together for
+four years and have been taught by the same people."</p>
+
+<p>"Very well," says Delano-Smith testily. "Tell me this, please: Do you
+regard this idea as practicable?"</p>
+
+<p>Cray tilts his chair back and remarks to the ceiling, "This is rather
+a farce. I suppose we had to go through our paces for the colonel's
+benefit&mdash;and Mr. Yardo's of course&mdash;but can't we be briefed properly
+now?"</p>
+
+<p>"What do you mean by that?" snaps the colonel.</p>
+
+<p>"It's been obvious right along," says Cray, balancing his styler on
+one forefinger, "so obvious none of us has bothered to mention it,
+that accepting the normal limitations of Mass-Time, the idea of
+interfering in Incognita was doomed before it began. No conventional
+ship would have much hope of arriving before war broke out; and if it
+did arrive it couldn't do anything effective. Therefore I assume that
+this is not a conventional ship. I might accept that the Government
+has sent us out in a futile attempt to do the impossible, but I
+wouldn't believe that of M'Clare."</p>
+
+<p>Cray is the only Terry I know acts like an Outsider's idea of one;
+many find this difficult to take and the colonel is plainly one of
+them. Eru intervenes quickly.</p>
+
+<p>"I imagine we all realized that. Anyway this ship is obviously not a
+conventional model. If you accept the usual Mass-Time relationship
+between the rate of transition and the fifth power of the apparent
+acceleration, we must have reached about four times the maximum
+already."</p>
+
+<p>"Ram!" says B suddenly, "What did you do to stop the Hotel scope
+registering the little ship you picked up me and Lizzie in?"</p>
+
+<p>Everybody cuts in with something they have noticed about the
+capabilities of this ship or the hoppers, and Lenny starts hammering
+on the table and chanting! "Brief! Brief! Brief!" and others are just
+starting to join in when Eru bangs on the table and glares us all
+down.</p>
+
+<p>Having got silence, he says very quietly, "Colonel Delano-Smith, I
+doubt whether this discussion can usefully proceed without a good deal
+more information; will you take over?"</p>
+
+<p>The colonel looks round at all the eager earnest interested maps
+hastily put on for his benefit and decides to take the plunge.</p>
+
+<p>"Very well. I suppose it is ... very well. The decision to use
+students from Russett was made at a very high level, and I suppose&mdash;"
+Instead of saying "Very well" again he shrugs his shoulders and gets
+down to it.</p>
+
+<p>"The report from the planet we decided to call 'Incognita' was
+received thirty-one days ago. The Department of Spatial Affairs has
+certain resources which are not generally known. This ship is one of
+them. She works on a modified version of Mass-Time which enables her
+to use about a thousand channels instead of the normal limit of two
+hundred; for good and sufficient reasons this has not been generally
+released."</p>
+
+<p>Pause while we are silently dared to doubt the Virtue and sufficiency
+of these reasons which personally I do not.</p>
+
+<p>"To travel to Incognita direct would take about fifteen days by the
+shortest route. We shall take eighteen days as we shall have to make a
+detour."</p>
+
+<p>But presumably we shall take only fifteen days back. Hurrah we can
+spend a week round the planet and still be back in time for
+Commemoration. We shall skip maybe a million awkward questions and I
+shall not disappoint Dad.</p>
+
+<p>It is plain the colonel is not filled with joy; far from it, he did
+not enjoy revealing a Departmental secret however obvious, but he
+likes the next item even less.</p>
+
+<p>"We shall detour to an uninhabited system twelve days' transit time
+from here and make contact with another ship, the <i>Gilgamesh</i>."</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>At which Lennie DiMaggio who has been silent till now brings his fist
+down on the table and exclaims, "You <i>can't</i>!"</p>
+
+<p>Lennie is much upset for some reason; Delano-Smith gives him a
+peculiar look and says what does he know about it? and Lennie starts
+to stutter.</p>
+
+<p>Cray remarks that Lennie's childhood hobby appears to have been
+spaceships and he suffers from arrested development.</p>
+
+<p>B says it is well known Lennie is mad about the Space Force and why
+not? It seems to have uses Go on and tell us Lennie.</p>
+
+<p>Lennie says "<i>G-Gilgamesh</i> was lost three hundred years ago!"</p>
+
+<p>"The flaw in that statement," says Cray after a pause, "is that this
+may be another ship of the same name."</p>
+
+<p>"No," says the colonel. "Explorer Class cruiser. They went out of
+service two hundred eighty years back."</p>
+
+<p>The Space Force, I remember, does not re-use names of lost ships: some
+says Very Proper Feeling some say Superstitious Rot.</p>
+
+<p>B says, "When was she found again?"</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;">
+<img src="images/image_003.jpg" width="600" height="202" alt="" />
+</div>
+
+<p>Lennie says it was j-just thirty-seven revolutions of his native
+planet which means f-f-fifty-three Terrestrial years ago, she was
+found by an Interplanetary scout called <i>Crusoe</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Judging by the colonel's expression this data is Classified; he does
+not know that Lennie's family come from one of the oldest settled
+planets and are space-goers to a man, woman, and juvenile; they pick
+up ship gossip the way others hear about the relations of people next
+door.</p>
+
+<p>Lennie goes on to say that the Explorer Class were the first official
+exploration ships sent out from Earth when the Terries decided to find
+out what happened to the colonies formed during the Exodus.
+<i>Gilgamesh</i> was the first to re-make contact with Garuda, Legba,
+Lister, Cor-bis and Antelope; she vanished on her third voyage.</p>
+
+<p>"Where was she found?" asks Eru.</p>
+
+<p>"Near the p-p-pole of an uninhabited planet&mdash;maybe I shouldn't say
+where because that may be secret, but the rest's History if you know
+where to look."</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>Maybe the colonel approves this discretion; anyway his face thaws very
+slightly unless I am Imagining it.</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Gilgamesh</i> crashed," he says. "Near as we can make out from the log,
+she visited Seleucis system. That's a swarmer sun. Fifty-seven
+planets, three settled; and any number of fragments. The navigator
+calculated that after a few more revolutions one of the fragments was
+going to crash on an inhabited planet. Might have done a lot of
+damage. They decided to tow it out of the way.</p>
+
+<p>"Grappling-beams hadn't been invented. They thought they could use
+Mass-Time on it a kind of reverse thrust&mdash;throw it off course.</p>
+
+<p>"Mass-Time wasn't so well understood then. Bit off more than they
+could chew. Set up a topological relation that drained all the free
+energy out of the system. Drive, heating system&mdash;everything.</p>
+
+<p>"She had emergency circuits. When the engines came on again they took
+over&mdash;landed the ship, more or less, on the nearest planet. Too late,
+of course. Heating system never came on&mdash;there was a safety switch
+that had to be thrown by hand. She was embedded in ice when she was
+found. Hull breached at one point&mdash;no other serious damage."</p>
+
+<p>"And the ... the crew?"</p>
+
+<p>Dillie ought to know better than that.</p>
+
+<p>"Lost with all hands," says the colonel.</p>
+
+<p>"How about weapons?"</p>
+
+<p>We are all startled. Cray is looking whitish like the rest of us but
+maintains his normal manner, i.e. offensive affection while pointing
+out that <i>Gilgamesh</i> can hardly be taken for a Menace unless she has
+some means of aggression about her.</p>
+
+<p>Lennie says The Explorer Class were all armed&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>Fine, says Cray, presumably the weapons will be thoroughly obsolete
+and recognizable only to a Historian&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>Lennie says the construction of no weapon developed by the Space
+Department has ever been released; making it plain that anyone but a
+Nitwit knows that already.</p>
+
+<p>Eru and Kirsty have been busy for some time writing notes to each
+other and she now gives a small sharp cough and having collected our
+attention utters the following Address.</p>
+
+<p>"There is a point we seem to have missed. If I may recapitulate, the
+idea is to take this ship <i>Gilgamesh</i> to Incognita and make it appear
+as though she had crashed there while attempting to land. I understand
+that the ship has been buried in the polar cap; though she must have
+been melted out if the people on <i>Crusoe</i> examined the engines. Of
+course the cold&mdash;All the same there may have been ... well ...
+changes. Or when ... when we thaw the ship out again&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>I find I am swallowing good and hard, and several of the others look
+sick, especially Lennie. Lennie has his eyes fixed on the colonel; it
+is not prescience, but a slight sideways movement of the colonel's eye
+causes him to blurt out, "What is <i>he</i> doing here?"</p>
+
+<p>Meaning Mr. Yardo who seems to have been asleep for some time, with
+his eyes open and grinning like the spikes on a dog collar. The
+colonel gives him another sideways look and says, "Mr. Yardo is an
+expert on the rehabilitation of space-packed materials."</p>
+
+<p>This is stuff transported in un-powered hulls towed by
+grappling-beams; the hulls are open to space hence no need for
+refrigeration, and the contents are transferred to specially equipped
+orbital stations before being taken down to the planet. But&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Yardo comes to life at the sound of his name and his grin widens
+alarmingly.</p>
+
+<p>"Especially meat," he says.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>It is maybe two hours afterwards, Eru having adjourned the meeting
+abruptly so that we can ... er ... take in the implications of the new
+data. Lennie has gone off somewhere by himself; Kirsty has gone after
+him with a view to Mothering him; Eru, I suspect, is looking for
+Kirsty; Pavel and Aro and Dillie and the Crow are in a cabin arguing
+in whispers; Nick and P. Zapotec are exploring one of the Hoppers,
+cargo-carrying, drop-shaped, and I only hope they don't hop through
+the hull in it.</p>
+
+<p>B and I having done a tour of the ship and ascertained all this have
+withdrawn to the Conference Room because we are tired of our cabins
+and this seems to be the only other place to sit.</p>
+
+<p>B breaks a long silence with the remark that However often you see it
+M'Clare's technique is something to watch, like choosing my statement
+to open with, it broke the ice beautifully.</p>
+
+<p>I say, "Shall I tell you something?"</p>
+
+<p>B says Yes if it's interesting.</p>
+
+<p>"My statement," I inform her, "ran something like this: The best hope
+of inducing a suspension of the aggressive attitude of both parties,
+long enough to offer hope of ultimate reconciliation, lies in the
+intrusion of a new factor in the shape of an outside force seen to be
+impartially hostile to both."</p>
+
+<p>B says: "Gosh. Come to think of it Liz you have not written like that
+in years, you have gone all pompous like everyone else; well that
+makes it even <i>more</i> clever of M'Clare."</p>
+
+<p>Enter Cray Patterson and drapes himself sideways on a chair,
+announcing that his own thoughts begin to weary him.</p>
+
+<p>I say this does not surprise me, at all.</p>
+
+<p>"Lizzie my love," says he, "you are twice blessed being not only witty
+yourself but a cause of wit in others; was that bit of Primitive Lee
+with which M'Clare regaled us really not from the hand of the
+mistress, or was it a mere pastiche?"</p>
+
+<p>I say Whoever wrote that it was not me anyway.</p>
+
+<p>"It seemed to me pale and luke-warm compared with the real thing,"
+says Cray languidly, "which brings me to a point that, to quote dear
+Kirsty, seems to have been missed."</p>
+
+<p>I say, "Yep. Like what language it was that these people wrote their
+log in that we can be <i>certain</i> the Incognitans won't know."</p>
+
+<p>"More than that," says B, "we didn't decide who they are or where they
+were coming from or how they came to crash or anything."</p>
+
+<p>"Come to think of it, though," I point out, "the language and a good
+many other things must have been decided already because of getting
+the right hypnotapes and translators on board."</p>
+
+<p>B suddenly lights up.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, but look, I bet that's what we're here for, I mean that's why
+they picked us instead of Space Department people&mdash;the ship's got to
+have a past history, it has to come from a planet somewhere only no
+one must ever find out <i>where</i> it's supposed to be. Someone will have
+to fake a log, only I don't see how&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"The first reel with data showing the planet of origin got damaged
+during the crash," says Cray impatiently.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, of course&mdash;but we have to find a reason why they were in that
+part of Space and it has to be a <i>nice</i> one, I mean so that the
+Incognitans when they finally read the log won't hate them any more&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Maybe they were bravely defending their own planet by hunting down an
+interplanetary raider," I suggest.</p>
+
+<p>Cray says it will take only the briefest contact with other planets to
+convince the Incognitans that interplanetary raiders can't and don't
+exist, modern planetary alarm and defense systems put them out of the
+question.</p>
+
+<p>"That's all he knows," says B, "some interplanetary pirates raided
+Lizzie's father's farm once. Didn't they, Liz?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes in a manner of speaking, but they were bums who pinched a
+spaceship from a planet not many parsecs away, a sparsely inhabited
+mining world like my own which had no real call for an alarm system,
+so that hardly alters the argument."</p>
+
+<p>"Well," says B, "the alarm system on Incognita can't be so hot or the
+observation ships could not have got in, or out, for that matter,
+unless of course they have some other gadget we don't know about."</p>
+
+<p>"On the other hand," she considers, "to mention Interplanetary raiders
+raises the idea of Menace in an Unfriendly Universe again, and this is
+what we want to cancel out.</p>
+
+<p>"These people," she says at last with a visionary look in her eye,
+"come from a planet which went isolationist and abandoned space
+travel; now they have built up their civilization to a point where
+they can build ships of their own again, and the ones on Gilgamesh
+have cut loose from the ideas of their ancestors that led to their
+going so far afield&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"How far afield?" says Cray.</p>
+
+<p>"No one will ever know," I point out to him. "Don't interrupt."</p>
+
+<p>"Anyway," says B, "they set out to rejoin the rest of the Human Race
+just like the people on <i>Gilgamesh</i> <i>really</i> did, in fact, a lot of
+this is the truth only kind of backwards&mdash;they were looking for the
+Cradle of the Race, that's what. Then there was some sort of disaster
+that threw them off course to land on an uninhabited section of a
+planet that couldn't understand their signals. And when Incognita
+finally does take to space flight again I bet the first thing the
+people do is to try and follow back to where <i>Gilgamesh</i> came from and
+make contact with them. It'll become a legend on Incognita&mdash;the Lost
+People ... the Lost ... Lost&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"The Lost Kafoozalum," says Cray. "In other words we switch these
+people off a war only to send them on a wild goose chase."</p>
+
+<p>At which a strange voice chimes in, "No, no, no, son, you've got it
+all <i>wrong</i>."</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>Mr. Yardo is with us like a well-meaning skeleton.</p>
+
+<p>During the next twenty-five minutes we learn a lot about Mr. Yardo
+including material for a good guess at how he came to be picked for
+this expedition; doubtless there are many experts on Reversal Of
+Vacuum-Induced Changes in Organic Tissues but maybe only one of them a
+Romantic at heart.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Yardo thinks chasing the Wild Goose will do the Incognitans all
+the good in the galaxy, it will take their minds off controversies
+over interhemispherical trade and put them on to the quest of the
+Unobtainable; they will get to know something of the Universe outside
+their own little speck. Mr. Yardo has seen a good deal of the Universe
+in the course of advising on how to recondition space-packed meat and
+he found it an Uplifting Experience.</p>
+
+<p>We gather he finds this desperate bit of damfoolery we are on now
+pretty Uplifting altogether.</p>
+
+<p>Cray keeps surprisingly quiet but it is as well that the rest of the
+party start to trickle in about twenty minutes later the first
+arrivals remarking Oh <i>that's</i> where you've got to!</p>
+
+<p>Presently we are all congregated at one end of the table as before,
+except that Mr. Yardo is now sitting between B and me; when M'Clare
+and the colonel come in he firmly stays where he is evidently
+considering himself One of Us now.</p>
+
+<p>"The proposition," says M'Clare, "is that we intend to take
+<i>Gilgamesh</i> to Incognita and land her there in such a way as to
+suggest that she crashed. In the absence of evidence to the contrary
+the Incognitans are bound to assume that that was her intended
+destination, and the presence of weapons, even disarmed, will suggest
+that her mission was aggressive. Firstly, can anyone suggest a better
+course of action? or does anyone object to this one?"</p>
+
+<p>We all look at Lennie who sticks his hands in his pockets and mutters
+"No."</p>
+
+<p>Kirsty gives her little cough and says there is a point which has not
+been mentioned.</p>
+
+<p>If a heavily-armed ship crashes on Incognita, will not the government
+of the hemisphere in which it crashes be presented with new ideas for
+offensive weapons? And won't this make it <i>more</i> likely that they will
+start aggression? And won't the fear of this make the other hemisphere
+even more likely to try and get in first before the new weapons are
+complete?</p>
+
+<p>Hell, I ought to have thought of that.</p>
+
+<p>From the glance of unwilling respect which the colonel bestows on
+M'Clare it is plain these points have been dealt with.</p>
+
+<p>"The weapons on Gilgamesh were disarmed when she was rediscovered," he
+says. "Essential sections were removed. The Incognitans won't be able
+to reconstruct how they worked."</p>
+
+<p><i>Another</i> fact for which we shall have to provide an explanation. Well
+how about this: The early explorers sent out by these people&mdash;the
+people in Gilgamesh ... oh, use Cray's word and call them Lost
+Kafoozalum anyway their ships were armed, but they never found any
+enemies and the Idealists of B's story refused even to carry arms any
+more.</p>
+
+<p>(Which is just about what happened when the Terries set out to
+rediscover the colonies, after all.)</p>
+
+<p>So the Lost Kafoozalum could not get rid of their weapons completely
+because it would have meant rebuilding the ship; so they just
+partially dismantled them.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Yardo suddenly chips in, "About that other point, girlie, surely
+there must be some neutral ground left on a half-occupied planet like
+that?" He beams round, pleased at being able to contribute.</p>
+
+<p>B says, "The thing is," and stops.</p>
+
+<p>We wait.</p>
+
+<p>We have about given up hope when she resumes, "The thing is, it will
+have to be neutral ground of course, only that might easily become a
+thingummy ... I mean a, a <i>casus belli</i> in itself. So the <i>other</i>
+thing is it ought to be a place which is very hard to get at, so
+difficult that neither side can really get to it first, they'll have
+to reach an agreement and co-operate."</p>
+
+<p>"Yeah," says Dillie "that sounds fine, but what sort of place is
+that?"</p>
+
+<p>I am sorting out in my head the relative merits of mountains,
+deserts, gorges, et cetera, when I an seized with inspiration at the
+same time as half the group; we say the same thing in different words
+and for a time there is Babel, then the idea emerges:</p>
+
+<p>"Drop her into the sea!"</p>
+
+<p>The colonel nods resignedly.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," he says, "that's what we're going to do."</p>
+
+<p>He presses a button and our projection-screens light up, first with a
+map of one pole of Incognita, expanding in scale till finally we are
+looking down on one little bit of coast on one of the polar islands. A
+glacier descends on to it from mountains inland and there is a bay
+between cliffs. Then we get a stereo scene of approximately the least
+hospitable of scenery I ever did see&mdash;except maybe when Parvati Lal
+Dutt's brother made me climb up what he swore was the smallest peak in
+the Himalayas.</p>
+
+<p>It is a small bay backed by tumbled cliffs. A shelving beach can be
+deduced from contour and occasional boulders big enough to stick
+through the snow that smothers it all. A sort of mess of rocks and mud
+at the back may be glacial moraine. Over the sea the ice is split in
+all directions by jagged rifts and channels; the whole thing is a bit
+like Antarctica but nothing is high enough or white enough to uplift
+the spirit, it looks not only chilly but kind of mean.</p>
+
+<p>"This place," says the colonel, "is the only one, about which we have
+any topographical information, that seems to meet the requirements.
+Got to know about it through an elementary planetography. One of the
+observers had the sense to see we might need something of the sort.
+This place"&mdash;the stereo jigs as he taps his projector&mdash;"seems it's the
+center of a rising movement in the crust ... that's not to the point.
+Neither side has bothered to claim the land at the poles...."</p>
+
+<p>I see their point if it's all like this&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"... And a ship trying to land on those cliffs might very well pitch
+over into the sea. That is, if she were trying to land on emergency
+rockets."</p>
+
+<p>Rockets&mdash;that brings home the ancientness of this ship
+<i>Gilgamesh</i>&mdash;but after all the ships that settled Incognita probably
+carried emergency rockets, too.</p>
+
+<p>This settled, the meeting turns into a briefing session and merges
+imperceptibly with the beginning of the job.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>The job of course is Faking the background of the crash; working out
+the past history and present aims of the Lost Kafoozalum. We have to
+invent a planet and what's more difficult convey all the essential
+information about it by the sort of sideways hints you gather among
+peoples' personal possessions; diaries, letters et cetera; and what is
+even <i>more</i> difficult we have to leave out anything that could lead to
+definite identification of our unknown world with any known one.</p>
+
+<p>We never gave that world a name; it might be dangerous. Who speaks of
+their world by name, except to strangers? They call it "home"&mdash;or
+"Earth," as often as not.</p>
+
+<p>Some things have been decided for us. Language, for instance&mdash;one of
+two thousand or so Earth tongues that went out of use late enough to
+be plausible as the main language of a colonized planet. The settlers
+on Incognita were not of the sort to take along dictionaries of the
+lesser-known tongues, so the computers at Russett had a fairly wide
+choice.</p>
+
+<p>We had to take a hypnocourse in that language. Ditto the script, one
+of several forgotten phonetic shorthands. (Designed to enable the
+tongues of Aliens to be written down; but the Aliens have never been
+met. It is plausible enough that some colony might have kept the
+script alive; after all Thasia uses something of the sort to this
+day.)</p>
+
+<p>The final result of our work looks pretty small. Twenty-three
+"Personal Background Sets"&mdash;a few letters, a diary in some, an
+assortment of artifacts. Whoever stocked this ship we are on supplied
+wood, of the half-dozen kinds that have been taken wherever men have
+gone; stocks of a few plastics&mdash;known at the time of the Exodus, or
+easily developed from those known, and not associated with any
+particular planet. Also books on Design, a Form-writer for translating
+drawings into materials, and so on. Someone put in a lot of work
+before this voyage began.</p>
+
+<p>Most of the time it is like being back on Russet doing a group
+Project. What we are working on has no more and no less reality than
+that. Our work is all read into a computer and checked against
+everybody else's. At first we keep clashing. Gradually a consistent
+picture builds up and gets translated finally into the Personal
+Background Kits. The Lost Kafoozalum start to exist like people in a
+History book.</p>
+
+<p>Fifteen days hard work and we have just about finished; then we
+reach&mdash;call it Planet Gilgamesh.</p>
+
+<p>I wake in my bunk to hear that there will be brief cessation of
+weight; strap down, please.</p>
+
+<p>We are coming off Mass-Time to go on planetary drive.</p>
+
+<p>Colonel Delano-Smith is in charge of operations on the planet, with
+Ram and Peter to assist. None of the rest of us see the melting out of
+fifty years' accumulation of ice, the pumping away of the water, the
+fitting and testing of the holds for the grappling-beams. We stay
+inside the ship, on five-eighths gee which we do not have time to get
+used to, and try to work, and discard the results before the computer
+can do so. There is hardly any work left to do, anyway.</p>
+
+<p>It takes nearly twelve hours to get the ship free, and caulked, and
+ready to lift. (Her hull has to be patched because of Mr. Yardo's
+operations which make use of several sorts of vapors). Then there is a
+queer blind period with Up now one way, now another, and sudden jerks
+and tugs that upset everything not in gimbals or tied down;
+interspersed with periods when weightlessness supervenes with no
+warning at all. After an hour or two of this it would be hard to say
+whether Mental or physical discomfort is more acute; B consulted,
+however, says my autonomic system must be quite something, after five
+minutes <i>her</i> thoughts were with her viscera entirely.</p>
+
+<p>Then, suddenly, we are back on Mass-Time again.</p>
+
+<p>Two days to go.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>At first being on Mass-Time makes everything seem normal again. By
+sleep time there is a strain, and next day it is everywhere. I know as
+well as any that on Mass-Time the greater the mass the faster the
+shift; all the same I cannot help feeling we are being slowed, dragged
+back by the dead ship coupled to our live one.</p>
+
+<p>When you stand by the hull <i>Gilgamesh</i> is only ten feet away.</p>
+
+<p>I should have kept something to work on like B and Kirsty who have not
+done their Letters for Home in Case of Accidents; mine is signed and
+sealed long ago. I am making a good start on a Neurosis when
+Delano-Smith announces a Meeting for one hour ahead.</p>
+
+<p>Hurrah! now there is a time-mark fixed I think of all sorts of things
+I should have done before; for instance taking a look at the controls
+of the Hoppers.</p>
+
+<p>I have been in one of them half an hour and figured out most of the
+dials&mdash;Up down and sideways are controlled much as in a helicar, but
+here a big viewscreen has been hooked in to the autopilot&mdash;when
+across the hold I see the air lock start to move.</p>
+
+<p><i>Gilgamesh</i> is on the other side.</p>
+
+<p>It takes forever to open. When at last it swings wide on the dark
+tunnel what comes through is a storage rack, empty, floating on
+antigrav.</p>
+
+<p>What follows is a figure in a spacesuit; modern type, but the windows
+of the hopper are semipolarized and I cannot make out the face inside
+the bubble top.</p>
+
+<p>He slings the rack upon the bulkhead, takes off the helmet and hangs
+that up, too. Then he just stands. I am beginning to muster enough
+sense to wonder why when he comes slowly across the hold.</p>
+
+<p>Reaching the doorway he says: "Oh it's you, Lizzie. You'll have to
+help me out of this. I'm stuck."</p>
+
+<p>M'Clare.</p>
+
+<p>The outside of the suit is still freezing cold; maybe this is what has
+jammed the fastening. After a few minutes tugging it suddenly gives
+away. M'Clare climbs out of the suit, leaving it standing, and says,
+"Help me count these, will you?"</p>
+
+<p><i>These</i> are a series of transparent containers from a pouch slung at
+one side of the suit. I recognize them as the envelopes in which we
+put what are referred to as Personal Background Sets.</p>
+
+<p>I say, "There ought to be twenty-three."</p>
+
+<p>"No," says M'Clare dreamily, "twenty-two, we're saving one of them."</p>
+
+<p>"What on earth is the use of an extra set of faked documents and
+oddments&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>He seems to wake up suddenly and says: "What are you doing here,
+Lizzie?"</p>
+
+<p>I explain and he wanders over to the hopper and starts to explain the
+controls.</p>
+
+<p>There is something odd about all this. M'Clare is obviously dead
+tired, but kind of relaxed; seeing that the hour of Danger is only
+thirty-six hours off I don't understand it. Probably several of his
+students are going to have to risk their lives&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>I am on the point of seeing something important when the speaker
+announces in the colonel's voice that Professor M'Clare and Miss Lee
+will report to the Conference Room at once please.</p>
+
+<p>M'Clare looks at me and grins. "Come along, Lizzie. Here's where we
+take orders for once, you and I."</p>
+
+<p>It is the colonel's Hour. I suppose that having to work with
+Undergraduates is something he could never quite forget, but from the way
+he looks at us we might almost be Space Force personnel,&mdash;low-grade of
+course but respectable.</p>
+
+<p>Everything is at last worked out and he has it on paper in front of
+him; he puts the paper four square on the table, gazes into the middle
+distance and proceeds to recite.</p>
+
+<p>"One. This ship will go off Mass-Time on 2nd August at 11.27 hours
+ship's time....</p>
+
+<p>"Thirty-six hours from now.</p>
+
+<p>"... At a point one thousand miles vertically above Co-ordinates
+165OE, 7320S, on Planet Incognita, approximately one hour before
+midnight local time.</p>
+
+<p>"Going on planetary drive as close as that will indicate that
+something is badly wrong to begin with.</p>
+
+<p>"Two. This ship will descend, coupled to <i>Gilgamesh</i> as at present, to
+a point seventy miles above the planetary surface. It will then
+uncouple, discharge one hopper, and go back on Mass-Time. Estimated
+time for this stage of descent forty minutes.</p>
+
+<p>"Three. The hopper will then descend on its own engines at the maximum
+speed allowed by the heat-disposal system; estimated at thirty-seven
+minutes. <i>Gilgamesh</i> will complete descent in thirty-three minutes.
+Engines of <i>Gilgamesh</i> will not be used except for the heat-disposal
+and gyro auxiliaries. The following installations have been made to
+allow for the control of the descent; a ring of eight rockets in
+peltathene mounts around the tail and, and one outsize antigrav unit
+inside the nose. "Sympathizer" controls hooked up with a visiscreen
+and a computer have also been installed in the nose.</p>
+
+<p>"Four. <i>Gilgamesh</i> will carry one man only. The hopper will carry a
+crew of three. The pilot of <i>Gilgamesh</i> will establish the ship on the
+edge of the cliff, supported on antigrav a foot or so above the ground
+and leaning towards the sea at an angle of approximately 20&deg; with the
+vertical. Except for this landing will be automatic.</p>
+
+<p>"Five."</p>
+
+<p>The colonel's voice has lulled us into passive acceptance; now we are
+jerked into sharper attention by the faintest possible check in it.</p>
+
+<p>"The greatest danger attaching to the expedition is that the
+Incognitans may discover that the crash has been faked. This would be
+inevitable if they were to capture (a) the hopper; (b) any of the new
+installations in Gilgamesh, especially the antigrav; (c) any member of
+the crew.</p>
+
+<p>"The function of the hopper is to pick up the pilot of <i>Gilgamesh</i> and
+also to check that ground appearances are consistent. If not, they
+will produce a landslip on the cliff edge, using power tools and
+explosives carried for the purpose. That is why the hopper has a crew
+of three, but the chance of their having to do this is slight."</p>
+
+<p>So I should think; ground appearances are supposed to show that
+<i>Gilgamesh</i> landed using emergency rockets and then toppled over the
+cliff and this will be exactly what happened.</p>
+
+<p>"The pilot will carry a one-frequency low-power transmitter activated
+by the change in magnetic field on leaving the ship. The hopper will
+remain at five hundred feet until this signal is received. It will
+then pick up the pilot, check ground appearances, and rendezvous with
+this ship at two hundred miles up at 18.27 hours."</p>
+
+<p>The ship and the hopper both being radar-absorbent will not register
+on alarm systems, and by keeping to planetary nighttime they should
+be safe from being seen.</p>
+
+<p>"Danger (b) will be dealt with as follows. The rocket-mounts being of
+peltathene will be destroyed by half an hour's immersion in water. The
+installations in the nose will be destroyed with Andite."</p>
+
+<p>Andite produces complete colecular disruption in a very short range,
+hardly any damage outside it; the effect will be as though the nose
+broke off on impact; I suppose the Incognitans will waste a lot of
+time looking for it on the bed of the sea.</p>
+
+<p>"Four ten-centimeter cartridges will be inserted within the nose
+installations. The fuse will have two alternative settings. The first
+will be timed to act at 12.50 hours, seven minutes after the estimated
+time of landing. It will not be possible to deactivate it before 12.45
+hours. This takes care of the possibility of the pilot's becoming
+incapacitated during the descent.</p>
+
+<p>"Having switched off the first fuse the pilot will get the ship into
+position and then activate a second, timed to blow in ten minutes. He
+will then leave the ship. When the antigrav is destroyed the ship
+will, of course, fall into the sea.</p>
+
+<p>"Six. The pilot of <i>Gilgamesh</i> will wear a spacesuit of the pattern
+used by the original crew and will carry Personal Background Set
+number 23. Should he fail to escape from the ship the crew of the
+hopper will on no account attempt to rescue him."</p>
+
+<p>The colonel takes up the paper, folds it in half and puts it down one
+inch further away.</p>
+
+<p>"The hopper's crew," he says, "will give the whole game away should
+one of them fall into Incognitan hands, alive or dead. Therefore they
+don't take any risks of it."</p>
+
+<p>He lifts his gaze ceilingwards. "I'm asking for three volunteers."</p>
+
+<p>Silence. Manning the hopper is definitely second best. Then light
+suddenly bursts on me and I lift my hand and hack B on the ankle.</p>
+
+<p>"I volunteer," I say.</p>
+
+<p>B gives me a most dubious glance and then lifts her hand, too.</p>
+
+<p>Cray on the other side of the table is slowly opening his mouth when
+there is an outburst of waving on the far side of B.</p>
+
+<p>"Me too, colonel! I volunteer!"</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Yardo proceeds to explain that his special job is over and done,
+he can be more easily spared than anybody, he may be too old to take
+charge of <i>Gilgamesh</i> but will back himself as a hopper pilot against
+anybody.</p>
+
+<p>The colonel cuts this short by accepting all three. He then unfolds
+his paper again.</p>
+
+<p>"Piloting <i>Gilgamesh</i>," he says. "I'm not asking for volunteers now.
+You'll go to your cabins in four hours' time and those who want to
+will volunteer, secretly. To a computer hookup, Computer will select
+on a random basis and notify the one chosen. Give him his final
+instructions, too. No one need know who it was till it's all over. He
+can tell anyone he likes, of course."</p>
+
+<p>A very slight note of triumph creeps into the next remark. "One point.
+Only men need volunteer."</p>
+
+<p>Instant outcry from Kirsty and Dilly: B turns to me with a look of
+awe.</p>
+
+<p>"Nothing to do with prejudice," says the colonel testily. "Just facts.
+The crew of <i>Gilgamesh</i> were all men. Can't risk one solitary woman
+being found on board. Besides&mdash;spacesuits, personal background
+sets&mdash;all designed for men."</p>
+
+<p>Kirsty and Dilly turn on me looks designed to shrivel and B whispers
+"Lizzie how wonderful you are."</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>The session dissolves. We three get an intensive session course of
+instruction on our duties and are ordered off to sleep. After
+breakfast next morning I run into Cray who says, Before I continue
+about what is evidently pressing business would I care to kick him,
+hard?</p>
+
+<p>Not right now I reply, what for anyway?</p>
+
+<p>"Miss Lee," says Cray, dragging it out longer than ever, "although I
+have long realized that your brain functions in a way much superior to
+logic I had not sense enough yesterday to follow my own instinct and
+do what you do as soon as you did it; therefore that dessicated meat
+handler got in first."</p>
+
+<p>I say: "So you weren't picked for pilot? It was only one chance in
+ten."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh," says Cray, "did you really think so?" He gives me a long look
+and goes away.</p>
+
+<p>I suppose he noticed that when the colonel came out with his remarks
+about No women in Gilgamesh I was as surprised as any.</p>
+
+<p>Presently the three of us are issued with protective clothing; we just
+might have to venture out on the planet's surface and therefore we get
+white one-piece suits to protect against Cold, heat, moisture,
+dessication, radioactivity, and mosquitoes, and they are quite
+becoming, really.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;">
+<img src="images/image_004.jpg" width="600" height="278" alt="" />
+</div>
+
+<p>B and I drag out dressing for thirty minutes; then we just sit while
+Time crawls asymptotically towards the hour.</p>
+
+<p>Then the speaker calls us to go.</p>
+
+<p>We are out of the cabin before it says two words and racing for the
+hold; so that we are just in time to see a figure out of an Historical
+movie&mdash;padded, jointed, tin bowl for head and blank reflecting glass
+where the face should be&mdash;stepping through the air lock.</p>
+
+<p>The colonel and Mr. Yardo are there already. The colonel packs us into
+the hopper and personally closes the door, and for once I know what
+he is thinking; he is wishing he were not the only pilot in this ship
+who could possibly rely on bringing the ship off and on Mass-Time at
+one particular defined spot of Space.</p>
+
+<p>Then he leaves us; half an hour to go.</p>
+
+<p>The light in the hold begins to alter. Instead of being softly
+diffused it separates into sharp-edged beams, reflecting and
+crisscrossing but leaving cones of shadow between. The air is being
+pumped into store.</p>
+
+<p>Fifteen minutes.</p>
+
+<p>The hull vibrates and a hatch slides open in the floor so that the
+black of Space looks through; it closes again.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Yardo lifts the hopper gently off its mounts and lets it back
+again.</p>
+
+<p>Testing; five minutes to go.</p>
+
+<p>I am hypnotized by my chronometer; the hands are crawling through
+glue; I am still staring at it when, at the exact second, we go off
+Mass-Time.</p>
+
+<p>No weight. I hook my heels under the seat and persuade my esophagus
+back into place. A new period of waiting has begun. Every so often
+comes the impression we are falling head-first; the colonel using
+ship's drive to decelerate the whole system. Then more free fall.</p>
+
+<p>The hopper drifts very slowly out into the hold and hovers over the
+hatch, and the lights go. There is only the glow from the visiscreen
+and the instrument board.</p>
+
+<p>One minute thirty seconds to go.</p>
+
+<p>The hatch slides open again. I take a deep breath.</p>
+
+<p>I am still holding it when the colonel's voice comes over the speaker:
+"Calling <i>Gilgamesh</i>. Calling the hopper. Good-by and Good luck.
+You're on your own."</p>
+
+<p>The ship is gone.</p>
+
+<p>Yet another stretch of time has been marked off for us. Thirty-seven
+minutes, the least time allowable if we are not to get overheated by
+friction with the air. Mr. Yardo is a good pilot; he is concentrating
+wholly on the visiscreen and the thermometer. B and I are free to look
+around.</p>
+
+<p>I see nothing and say so.</p>
+
+<p>I did not know or have forgotten that Incognita has many small
+satellites; from here there are four in sight.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>I am still looking at them when B seizes my arm painfully and points
+below us.</p>
+
+<p>I see nothing and say so.</p>
+
+<p>B whispers it was there a moment ago, it is pretty cloudy down
+there&mdash;Yes Lizzie there it is <i>look</i>.</p>
+
+<p>And I see it. Over to the left, very faint and far below, a pin-prick
+of light.</p>
+
+<p>Light in the polar wastes of a sparsely inhabited planet, and since we
+are still five miles up it is a very powerful light too.</p>
+
+<p>No doubt about it, as we descend farther; about fifty miles from our
+objective there are men, quite a lot of them.</p>
+
+<p>I think it is just then that I understand, <i>really</i> understand, the
+hazard of what we are doing. This is not an exercise. This is in dead
+earnest, and if we have missed an essential factor or calculated
+something wrong the result will be not a bad mark or a failed exam, or
+even our personal deaths, but incalculable harm and misery to millions
+of people we never even heard of.</p>
+
+<p>Dead earnest. How in Space did we ever have cheek enough for this?</p>
+
+<p>The lights might be the essential factor we have missed, but there is
+nothing we can do about them now.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Yardo suddenly chuckles and points to the screen.</p>
+
+<p>"There you are, girlies! He's down!"</p>
+
+<p>There, grayly dim, is the map the colonel showed us; and right on the
+faint line of the cliff-edge is a small brilliant dot.</p>
+
+<p>The map is expanding rapidly, great lengths of coastline shooting out
+of sight at the edge of the screen. Mr. Yardo has the cross-hairs
+centered on the dot which is <i>Gilgamesh</i>. The dot is changing shape;
+it is turning into a short ellipse, a longer one. The gyros are
+leaning her out over the sea.</p>
+
+<p>I look at my chronometer; 12.50 hours exactly. B looks, too, and grips
+my hand.</p>
+
+<p>Thirty seconds later the Andite has not blown; first fuse safety
+turned off. Surely she is leaning far enough out by now?</p>
+
+<p>We are hovering at five hundred feet. I can actually see the white
+edge of the sea beating at the cliff. Mr. Yardo keeps making small
+corrections; there is a wind out there trying to blow us away. It is
+cloudy here: I can see neither moons nor stars.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Yardo checks the radio. Nothing yet.</p>
+
+<p>I stare downwards and fancy I can see a metallic gleam.</p>
+
+<p>Then there is a wordless shout from Mr. Yardo; a bright dot hurtles
+across the screen and at the same time I see a streak of blue flame
+tearing diagonally downwards a hundred feet away.</p>
+
+<p>The hopper shudders to a flat concussion in the air, we are all thrown
+off balance, and when I claw my way back to the screen the moving dot
+is gone.</p>
+
+<p>So is <i>Gilgamesh</i>.</p>
+
+<p>B says numbly, "But it wasn't a meteor. It can't have been."</p>
+
+<p>"It doesn't matter what it was," I say. "It was some sort of missile,
+I think. They must be even nearer to war than we thought."</p>
+
+<p>We wait. What for, I don't know. Another missile, perhaps. No more
+come.</p>
+
+<p>At last Mr. Yardo stirs. His voice sounds creaky.</p>
+
+<p>"I guess," he says, then clears his throat, and tries again. "I guess
+we have to go back up."</p>
+
+<p>B says, "Lizzie, who was it? Do you know?"</p>
+
+<p>Of course I do. "Do you think M'Clare was going to risk one of us on
+that job? The volunteering was a fake. He went himself."</p>
+
+<p>B whispers, "You're just guessing."</p>
+
+<p>"Maybe," says Mr. Yardo, "but I happened to see through that face
+plate of his. It was the professor all right."</p>
+
+<p>He has his hand on the controls when my brain starts working again. I
+utter a strangled noise and dive for the hatch into the cargo hold. B
+tries to grab me but I get it open and switch on the light.</p>
+
+<p>Fifty-fifty chance&mdash;I've lost.</p>
+
+<p><i>No</i>, this is the one we came in and the people who put in the new
+cargo did not clear out my fish-boat, they just clamped it neatly to
+the wall.</p>
+
+<p>I dive in and start to pass up the package. B shakes her head.</p>
+
+<p>"No, Lizzie. We can't. Don't you remember? If we got caught, it would
+give everything away. Besides ... there isn't any chance&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Take a look at the screen," I tell her.</p>
+
+<p>Sharp exclamation from Mr. Yardo. B turns to look, then takes the
+package and helps me back.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>Mr. Yardo maneuvers out over the sea till the thing is in the middle
+of the screen; then drops to a hundred feet. It is sticking out of the
+water at a fantastic angle and the waves are hardly moving it. The
+nose of a ship.</p>
+
+<p>"The antigrav," whispers B. "The Andite hasn't blown yet."</p>
+
+<p>"Ten minutes," says Mr. Yardo thoughtfully. He turns to me with sudden
+briskness. "What's that, Lizzie girl? A fish-boat? Good. We may need
+it. Let's have a look."</p>
+
+<p>"It's mine," I tell him.</p>
+
+<p>"Now look&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Tailor made," I say. "You might get into it, though I doubt it. You
+couldn't work the controls."</p>
+
+<p>It takes him fifteen seconds to realize there is no way round it; he
+is six foot three and I am five foot one. Even B would find it hard.</p>
+
+<p>His face goes grayish and he stares at me helplessly. Finally he nods.</p>
+
+<p>"All right, Lizzie. I guess we have to try it. Things certainly can't
+be much worse than they are. We'll go over to the beach there."</p>
+
+<p>On the beach there is wind and spray and breakers but nothing
+unmanageable; the cliffs on either side keep off the worst of the
+force. It is queer to feel moving air after eighteen days in a ship.
+It takes six minutes to unpack and expand the boat and by that time it
+is ten minutes since the missile hit and the Andite has not blown.</p>
+
+<p>I crawl into the boat. In my protective clothing it is a fairly tight
+fit. We agree that I will return to this same point and they will
+start looking for me in fifty minutes' time and will give up if I have
+not returned in two hours. I take two Andite cartridges to deal with
+all eventualities and snap the nose of the boat into place. At first I
+am very conscious of the two little white cigars in the pouch of my
+suit, but presently I have other things to think about.</p>
+
+<p>I use the "limbs" to crawl the last few yards of shingle into the
+water and on across the sea bottom till I am beyond the line of
+breakers; then I turn on the motor. I have already set the controls to
+"home" on <i>Gilgamesh</i> and the radar will steer me off any
+obstructions. This journey in the dark is as safe as my trip around
+the reefs before all this started&mdash;though it doesn't feel that way.</p>
+
+<p>It takes twelve minutes to reach <i>Gilgamesh</i>, or rather the fragment
+that antigrav is supporting; it is about half a mile from the beach.</p>
+
+<p>The radar stops me six feet from her and I switch it off and turn to
+Manual and inch closer in.</p>
+
+<p>Lights, a very small close beam. The missile struck her about one
+third of her length behind the nose. I know, because I can see the
+whole of that length. It is hanging just above the water, sloping at
+about 30&deg; to the horizontal. The ragged edge where it was torn from
+the rest is just dipping into the sea.</p>
+
+<p>If anyone sees this, I don't know what they will make of it but no one
+could possibly think an ordinary spaceship suffered an ordinary crash,
+and very little investigation would show up the truth.</p>
+
+<p>I reach up with the forward set of "limbs" and grapple on to the
+break. I now have somehow to get the hind set of "limbs" up without
+losing my grip. I can't.</p>
+
+<p>It takes several minutes to realize that I can just open the nose and
+crawl out.</p>
+
+<p>Immediately a wave hits me in the face and does its best to drag me
+into the sea. However the interior of the ship is relatively sheltered
+and presently I am inside and dragging the boat up out of reach.</p>
+
+<p>I need light. Presently I manage to detach one of the two from the
+boat. I turn it down to minimum close beam and hang it round my neck;
+then I start up the black jag-edged tunnel of the ship.</p>
+
+<p>I have to get to the nose, find the fuse, change the setting to twenty
+minutes&mdash;maximum possible&mdash;and get out before it blows&mdash;out of the
+water I mean. The fish-boat is not constructed to take explosions even
+half a mile away. But the first thing is to find the fuse and I cannot
+make out how <i>Gilgamesh</i> is lying and therefore cannot find the door
+through this bulkhead; everything is ripped and twisted. In the end I
+find a gap between the bulkhead itself and the hull, and squeeze
+through that.</p>
+
+<p>In the next compartment things are more recognizable and I eventually
+find the door. Fortunately ships are designed so that you can get
+through doors even when they are in the ceiling; actually here I have
+to climb up an overhang, but the surface is provided with rungs which
+make it not too bad. Finally I reach the door. I shall have to use
+antigrav to get down ... why didn't I just turn it on and jump? I
+forgot I had it.</p>
+
+<p>The door was a little way open when the missile struck; it buckled in
+its grooves and is jammed fast. I can get an arm through. No more. I
+switch on antigrav and hang there directing the light round the
+compartment. No rents anywhere, just buckling. This compartment is
+divided by a partition and the door through that is open. There will
+be another door into the nose on the other side.</p>
+
+<p>I bring back my feet ready to kick off on a dive through that doorway.</p>
+
+<p>Behind me, something stirs.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>My muscles go into a spasm like the one that causes a falling dream,
+my hold tears loose and I go tumbling through the air, rebound from a
+wall, twist, and manage to hook one foot in the frame of the door I
+was aiming for. I pull myself down and turn off the antigrav; then I
+just shake for a bit.</p>
+
+<p>The sound was&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>This is stupid, with everything torn to pieces in this ship there is
+no wonder if bits shake loose and drop around&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>But it was not a metallic noise, it was a kind of soft dragging, very
+soft, that ended in a little thump.</p>
+
+<p>Like a&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>Like a loose piece of plastic dislodged from its angle of rest and
+slithering down, pull yourself together Lizzie Lee.</p>
+
+<p>I look through the door into the other half of this level. Shambles.
+Smashed machinery every which way, blocking the door, blocking
+everything. No way through at all.</p>
+
+<p>Suddenly I remember the tools. Mr. Yardo loaded the fish-boat with all
+it would take. I crawl back and return with a fifteen inch expanding
+beam-lever, and overuse it; the jammed trap door does not slide back
+in its grooves but flips right out of them, bent double; it flies off
+into the dark and clangs its way to rest.</p>
+
+<p>I am halfway through the opening when I hear the sound again. A soft
+slithering; a faint defeated thump.</p>
+
+<p>I freeze where I am, and then I hear the sigh; a long, long weary
+sound, almost musical.</p>
+
+<p>An air leak somewhere in the hull and wind or waves altering the air
+pressure below.</p>
+
+<p>All the same I do not seem able to come any farther through this door.</p>
+
+<p>Light might help; I turn the beam up and play it cautiously around.
+This is the last compartment, right in the nose; a sawn-off
+cone-shape. No breaks here, though the hull is buckled to my left and
+the "floor"&mdash;the partition, horizontal when the ship is in the normal
+operating position, which holds my trap door&mdash;is torn up; some large
+heavy object was welded to a thin surface skin which has ripped away
+leaving jagged edges and a pattern of girders below.</p>
+
+<p>There is no dust here; it has all been sucked out when the ship was
+open to space; nothing to show the beam except the sliding yellow
+ellipse where it touches the wall. It glides and turns, spiraling
+down, deformed every so often where it crosses a projection or a dent,
+till it halts suddenly on a spoked disk, four feet across and standing
+nearly eighteen inches out from the wall. The antigrav.</p>
+
+<p>I never saw one this size, it is like the little personal affairs as a
+giant is like a pigmy, not only bigger but a bit different in
+proportion. I can see an Andite cartridge fastened among the spokes.</p>
+
+<p>The fuse is a "sympathizer" but it is probably somewhere close. The
+ellipse moves again. There is no feeling that I control it; it is
+hunting on its own. To and fro around the giant wheel. Lower. It halts
+on a small flat box, also bolted to the wall, a little way below. This
+is it, I can see the dial.</p>
+
+<p>The ellipse stands still, surrounding the fuse. There is something at
+the very edge of it.</p>
+
+<p>When <i>Gilgamesh</i> was right way up the antigrav was bolted to one wall,
+about three feet above the floor. Now the lowest point is the place
+where this wall joins what used to be the floor. Something has fallen
+down to that point and is huddled there in the dark.</p>
+
+<p>The beam jerks suddenly up and the breath whoops out of me; a round
+thing sticking out of the wall&mdash;then I realize it is an archaic
+space-helmet, clamped to the wall for safety when the wearer took it
+off.</p>
+
+<p>I take charge of the ellipse of light and move it slowly down, past
+the fuse, to the thing below. A little dark scalloping of the edge of
+the light. The tips of fingers. A hand.</p>
+
+<p>I turn up the light.</p>
+
+<p>When the missile struck the big computer was wrenched loose from the
+floor. It careened down as the floor tilted, taking with it anything
+that stood in its way.</p>
+
+<p>M'Clare was just stooping to the fuse, I think. The computer smashed
+against his legs and pinned him down in the angle between the wall and
+the floor. His legs are hidden by it.</p>
+
+<p>Because of the spacesuit he does not looked crushed; the thick clumsy
+joints have kept their roundness, so far as they are visible; only his
+hands and head are bare and vulnerable looking.</p>
+
+<p>I am halfway down, floating on minimum gravity, before it really
+occurs to me that he may be still alive.</p>
+
+<p>I switch to half and drop beside him. His face is colorless but he is
+breathing all right.</p>
+
+<p>First-aid kit. I will never make fun of Space Force thoroughness
+again. Rows and rows of small plastic ampoules. Needles.</p>
+
+<p>Pain-killer, first. I read the directions twice, sweating. Emergencies
+only&mdash;this is. One dose <i>only</i> to be given and if patient is not in
+good health use&mdash;never mind that. I fit on the longest needle and jab
+it through the suit, at the back of the thigh, as far towards the
+knee-joint as I can get because the suit is thinner. Half one side,
+half the other.</p>
+
+<p>Now to get the computer off. At a guess it weighs about five hundred
+pounds. The beam-lever would do it but it would probably fall back.</p>
+
+<p>Antigrav; the personal size is supposed to take up to three times the
+weight of the average man. I take mine off and buckle the straps
+through a convenient gap. I have my hands under the thing when M'Clare
+sighs again.</p>
+
+<p>He is lying on his belly but his head is turned to one side, towards
+me. Slowly his eyelids open. He catches the sight of my hand; his head
+moves a little, and he says, "Lizzie. Golden Liz."</p>
+
+<p>I say not to worry, we will soon be out of here.</p>
+
+<p>His body jumps convulsively and he cries out. His hand reaches my
+sleeve and feels. He says, "Liz! Oh, God, I thought ... what&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>I say things are under control and just keep quiet a bit.</p>
+
+<p>His eyes close. After a moment he whispers, "Something hit the ship."</p>
+
+<p>"A homing missile, I think."</p>
+
+<p>I ought not to have said that; but it seems to make no particular
+impression, maybe he guessed as much.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>I was wrong in wanting to shift the computer straight away, the
+release of pressure might start a hemorrhage; I dig out ampoules of
+blood-seal and inject them into the space between the suit and the
+flesh, as close to the damage as I can.</p>
+
+<p>M'Clare asks how the ship is lying and I explain, also how I got here.
+I dig out the six-by-two-inch packet of expanding stretcher and read
+the directions. He is quiet for a minute or two, gathering strength;
+then he says sharply: "Lizzie. Stop that and listen.</p>
+
+<p>"The fuse for the Andite is just under the antigrav. Go and find it.
+Go now. There's a dial with twenty divisions. Marked in black&mdash;you see
+it. Turn the pointer to the last division. Is that done?</p>
+
+<p>"Now you see the switch under the pointer? Is your boat ready? I beg
+your pardon, of course you left it that way. Then turn the switch and
+get out."</p>
+
+<p>I come back and see by my chrono that the blood-seal should be set; I
+get my hands under the computer. M'Clare bangs his hand on the floor.</p>
+
+<p>"Lizzie, you little idiot, don't you realize that even if you get me
+out of this ship, which is next to impossible, you'll be delayed all
+the way&mdash;and if the Incognitans find either of us the whole plan's
+ruined? Much worse than ruined, once they see it's a hoax&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>I tell him I have two Andite sticks and they won't find us and on a
+night like this any story of explosions will be put down to sudden
+gusts or to lightning.</p>
+
+<p>He is silent for a moment while I start lifting the computer,
+carefully; its effective weight with the antigrav full on is only
+about twenty pounds but is has all its inertia. Then he says quietly,
+"Please, Lizzie&mdash;can't you understand that the worst nightmare in the
+whole affair has been the fear that one of you might get injured? Or
+even killed? When I realized that only one person was needed to pilot
+<i>Gilgamesh</i>&mdash;it was the greatest relief I ever experienced. Now you
+say...." His voice picks up suddenly. "Lizzie, you're beaten anyway.
+The ... I'm losing all feeling. Even pain. I can't feel anything
+behind my shoulders ... it's creeping up&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>I say that means the pain-killer I shot him with is acting as
+advertised, and he makes a sound as much like an explosive chuckle as
+anything and it's quiet again.</p>
+
+<p>The curvature between floor and wall is not helpful, I am trying to
+find a place to wedge the computer so it cannot fall back when I take
+off the antigrav. Presently I get it pushed on to a sort of ledge
+formed by a dent in the floor, which I think will hold it. I ease off
+the antigrav and the computer stays put, I don't like the looks of it
+so let's get out of here.</p>
+
+<p>I push the packaged stretcher under his middle and pull the tape
+before I turn the light on to his legs to see the damage. I cannot
+make out very much; the joints of the suit are smashed some, but as
+far as I can see the inner lining is not broken which means it is
+still air-and-water-tight.</p>
+
+<p>I put a hand under his chest to feel how the stretcher is going; it is
+now expanded to eighteen inches by six and I can feel it pushing out,
+but it is <i>slow</i>, what else have I to do&mdash;oh yes, get the helmet.</p>
+
+<p>I am standing up to reach for it when M'Clare says, "What are you
+doing? Yes ... well, don't put it on for a minute. There's something I
+would like to tell you, and with all respect for your obstinacy I
+doubt very much whether I shall have another chance. Keep that light
+off me, will you? It hurts my eyes.</p>
+
+<p>"You know, Lizzie, I dislike risking the lives of any of the students
+for whom I am responsible, but as it happens I find the idea of
+you&mdash;blowing yourself to atoms particularly objectionable because ...
+I happen to be in love with you. You're also one of my best students,
+I used to think that ... was why I'd been so insistent on your coming
+to Russett, but I rather think ... my motives were mixed even then. I
+meant to tell you this after you graduated, and to ask you to marry
+me, not that ... I thought you would, I know quite well ... you never
+quite forgave me, but I don't-want-to-have to remember ... I didn't
+... have the guts to&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>His voice trails off, I get a belated rush of sense to the head and
+turn the light on his face. His head is turned sideways and his fist
+is clenched against the side of his neck. When I touch it his hand
+falls open and five discharged ampoules fall out.</p>
+
+<p>Pain-killer.</p>
+
+<p>Maximum dose, one ampoule.</p>
+
+<p>All that talk was just to hold my attention while he fixed the needles
+and&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>I left the kit spread out right next to him.</p>
+
+<p>While I am taking this in some small cold corner of my mind is
+remembering the instructions that are on the pain-killer ampoule; it
+does not say, outright, that it is the last refuge for men in the
+extremity of pain and despair; therefore it cannot say, outright, that
+they sometimes despair too soon; but it does tell you the name of the
+antidote.</p>
+
+<p>There are only three ampoules of this and they also say, maximum dose
+one ampoule. I try to work it out but lacking all other information
+the best I can do is inject two and keep one till later. I put that
+one in my pocket.</p>
+
+<p>The stretcher is all expanded now; a very thin but quite rigid grid,
+six feet by two; I lash him on it without changing his position and
+fasten the helmet over his head.</p>
+
+<p>Antigrav; the straps just go round him and the stretcher.</p>
+
+<p>I point the thing up towards the trap door and give it a gentle push;
+then I scramble up the rungs and get there just in time to guide it
+through. It takes a knock then and some more while I am getting it
+down to the next partition, but he can't feel it.</p>
+
+<p>This time I find the door, because the roar of noise behind it acts as
+a guide. The sea is getting up and is dashing halfway to the door as I
+crawl through. My boat is awash, pivoting to and fro on the grips of
+the front "limbs."</p>
+
+<p>I grab it, release the limbs and pull it as far back as the door. I
+maneuver the stretcher on top and realize there is nothing to fasten
+it with ... except the antigrav, I get that undone, holding the
+stretcher in balance, and manage to put it under the stretcher and
+pass the straps between the bars of the grid ... then round the little
+boat, and the buckle just grips the last inch. It will hold, though.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>I set the boat to face the broken end of the ship, but I daren't put
+it farther back than the doorway; I turn the antigrav to half, fasten
+the limb-grips and rush back towards the nose of the ship. Silver knob
+under the dial. I turn it down, hear the thing begin a fast, steady
+ticking, and turn and run.</p>
+
+<p>Twenty minutes.</p>
+
+<p>One and a half to get back to the boat, four to get inside it without
+overturning. Nearly two to get down to the sea&mdash;balance difficult. One
+and a half to lower myself in.</p>
+
+<p>Thirty seconds' tossing before I sink below the wave layer; then I
+turn the motor as high as I dare and head for the shore.</p>
+
+<p>In a minute I have to turn it down; at this speed the radar is
+bothered by water currents and keeps steering me away from them as
+though they were rocks; I finally find the maximum safe speed but it
+is achingly slow. What happens if you are in water when Andite blows
+half a mile away? A moment's panic as I find the ship being forced up,
+then I realize I have reached the point where the beach starts to
+shelve, turn off radar and motor and start crawling. Eternal slow
+reach out, grab, shove, haul, with my heart in my mouth; then suddenly
+the nose breaks water and I am hauling myself out with a last wave
+doing its best to overbalance me.</p>
+
+<p>I am halfway out of the boat when the Andite blows behind me. There is
+a flat slapping sound; then an instant roar of wind as the air
+receives the binding energies of several tons of matter; then a long
+wave comes pelting up the beach and snatches at the boat.</p>
+
+<p>I huddle into the shingle and hold the boat; I have just got the
+antigrav turned off, otherwise I think it would have been carried
+away. There are two or three more big waves and a patter of spray;
+then it is over.</p>
+
+<p>The outlet valve of the helmet is working, so M'Clare is still
+breathing; very deep, very slow.</p>
+
+<p>I unfasten the belt of the antigrav, having turned it on again, and
+pull the belt through the buckle. No time to take it off and rearrange
+it; anyway it will work as well under the stretcher as on top of it. I
+drag the boat down to the water, put in an Andite cartridge with the
+longest fuse I have, set the controls to take it straight out to sea
+at maximum depth the radar control will allow&mdash;six feet above
+bottom&mdash;and push it off. The other Andite cartridge starts burning a
+hole in my pocket; I would have liked to put that in too, but I must
+keep it, in case.</p>
+
+<p>I look at my chrono and see that in five minutes the hopper will come.</p>
+
+<p>Five minutes.</p>
+
+<p>I am halfway back to the stretcher when I hear a noise further up the
+beach. Unmistakable. Shingle under a booted foot.</p>
+
+<p>I stand frozen in mid-stride. I turned the light out after launching
+the boat but my eyes have not recovered yet; it is murkily black. Even
+my white suit is only the faintest degree paler than my surroundings.</p>
+
+<p>Silence for a couple of minutes. I stand still. But it can't have gone
+away. What happens when the hopper comes? They will see whoever it is
+on the infrared vision screen. They won't come&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>Footsteps again. Several.</p>
+
+<p>Then the clouds part and one of those superfluous little moons shines
+straight through the gap.</p>
+
+<p>The bay is not like the stereo the colonel showed because that was
+taken in winter; now the snow is melted, leaving bare shingle and mud
+and a tumble of rocks; more desolate than the snow. Fifty feet off is
+a man.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<img src="images/image_005.jpg" width="400" height="370" alt="" />
+</div>
+
+<p>He is huddled up in a mass of garments but his head is bare, rising
+out of a hood which he has pushed back, maybe so as to listen better;
+he looks young, hardly older than me. He is holding a long thin object
+which I never saw before, but it must be a weapon of some sort.</p>
+
+<p>This is the end of it. All the evidence of faking is destroyed; except
+M'Clare and me. Even if I use the Andite he has seen me&mdash;and that
+leaves M'Clare.</p>
+
+<p>I am standing here on one foot like a dancer in a jammed movie,
+waiting for Time to start again or the world to end&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>Like the little figure in the dance-instruction kit Dad got when I was
+seven, when you switched her off in the middle.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>Like a dancer&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>My weight shifts on to the forward foot. My arms swing up, forwards,
+back. I take one step, another.</p>
+
+<p>Swing. Turn. Kick. Sideways.</p>
+
+<p>Like the silly little dancer who could not get out of the plastic
+block; but I am moving forward little by little, even if I have to
+take three steps roundabout for every one in advance.</p>
+
+<p>Arms, up. Turn, round. Leg, up. Straighten, out. Step.</p>
+
+<p>Called the Dance of the Little Robot, for about three months Dad
+thought it was no end cute, till he caught on I was thinking so, too.</p>
+
+<p>It is just about the only kind of dance you could do on shingle, I
+guess.</p>
+
+<p>When this started I thought I might be going crazy, but I just had not
+had time to work it out. In terms of Psychology it goes like this; to
+shoot off a weapon a man needs a certain type of Stimulus like the
+sight of an enemy over the end of it. So if I do my best not to look
+like an enemy he will not get that Stimulus. Or put it another way
+most men think twice before shooting a girl in the middle of a dance.
+If I should happen to get away with this, nobody will believe his
+story, he won't believe it himself.</p>
+
+<p>As for the chance of getting away with it, i.e., getting close enough
+to grab the gun or hit him with a rock or something, I know I would
+become a Stimulus to shooting before I did that but there are always
+the clouds, if one will only come back over the moon again.</p>
+
+<p>I have covered half the distance.</p>
+
+<p>Twenty feet from him, and he takes a quick step back.</p>
+
+<p>Turn, kick, out, step. I am swinging round away from him, let's hope
+he finds it reassuring. I dare not look up but I think the light is
+dimming. Turn, kick, out, step. Boxing the compass. Coming round
+again.</p>
+
+<p>And the cloud is coming over the moon, out of the corner of my eye I
+see darkness sweeping towards us&mdash;and I see his face of sheer horror
+as he sees it, too; he jumps back, swings up the weapon, and fires
+straight in my face.</p>
+
+<p>And it is dark. So much for Psychology.</p>
+
+<p>There is a clatter and other sounds&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>Well, quite a lot for Psychology maybe, because at twenty feet he
+seems to have missed me.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>I pick myself up and touch something which apparently is his weapon,
+gun or whatever. I leave it and hare back to the stretcher, next-to
+fall over it but stop just in time, and switch on the antigrav. Up;
+level it; now where to? The cliffs enclosing the bay are about thirty
+yards off to my left and they offer the only cover.</p>
+
+<p>The shingle is relatively level; I make good time till I stumble
+against a rock and nearly lose the stretcher. I step up on to the rock
+and see the cliff as a blacker mass in the general darkness, only a
+yard away. I edge the stretcher round it.</p>
+
+<p>It is almost snatched out of my hand by a gust of wind. I pull it back
+and realize that in the bay I have been sheltered; there is pretty
+near half a gale blowing across the face of the cliff.</p>
+
+<p>Voices and footsteps, away back among the rocks where the man came
+from.</p>
+
+<p>If the clouds part again they will see me, sure as shooting.</p>
+
+<p>I take a hard grip on the stretcher and scramble round the edge of the
+cliff.</p>
+
+<p>After the first gust the wind is not so bad; for the most part it is
+trying to press me back into the cliff. The trouble is that I can't
+see. I have to shuffle my foot forward, rubbing one shoulder against
+the cliff to feel where it is because I have no hand free.</p>
+
+<p>After a few yards I come to an impasse; something more than knee high;
+boulder, ridge, I can't tell.</p>
+
+<p>I weigh on the edge of the stretcher and tilt it up to get it over the
+obstacle. With the antigrav full on it keeps its momentum and goes on
+moving up. I try to check it, but the wind gets underneath.</p>
+
+<p>It is tugging to get away; I step blindly upwards in the effort to
+keep up with it. One foot goes on a narrow ledge, barely a toe hold. I
+am being hauled upwards. I bring the other foot up and find the top of
+a boulder, just within reach. Now the first foot&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>And now I am on top of the boulder, but I have lost touch with the
+cliff and the full force of the wind is pulling the stretcher upwards.
+I get one arm over it and fumble underneath for the control of the
+antigrav; I must give it weight and put it down on this boulder and
+wait for the wind to drop.</p>
+
+<p>Suddenly I realize that my weight is going; bending over the stretcher
+puts me in the field of the antigrav. A moment later another gust
+comes, and I realize I am rising into the air.</p>
+
+<p>Gripping the edge of the stretcher with one hand I reach out the
+other, trying to grasp some projection on the face of the cliff. Not
+being able to see I simply push farther away till it is out of reach.</p>
+
+<p>We are still rising.</p>
+
+<p>I pull myself up on the stretcher; there is just room for my toes on
+either side of M'Clare's legs. The wind roaring in my ears makes it
+difficult to think.</p>
+
+<p>Rods of light slash down at me from the edge of the cliff. For a
+moment all I can do is duck; then I realize we are still well below
+them, but rising every moment. The cliff-face is about six feet away;
+the wind reflecting from it keeps us from being blown closer.</p>
+
+<p>I must get the antigrav off. I let myself over the side of the
+stretcher, hanging by one hand, and fumble for the controls. I can
+just reach. Then I realize this is no use. Antigrav controls are not
+meant to go off with a click of the finger; they might get switched
+off accidentally. To work the switch and the safety you must have two
+hands, or one hand in the optimum position. My position is about as
+bad as it could be. I can stroke the switch with one finger; no more.</p>
+
+<p>I haul myself back on to the stretcher and realize we are only about
+six feet under the beam of light. Only one thing left. I feel in my
+pocket for the Andite. Stupidly, I am still also bending over the
+outlet valve of the helmet, trying to see whether M'Clare is still
+breathing or not.</p>
+
+<p>The little white cigar is not fused. I have to hold on with one hand.
+In the end I manage to stick the Andite between thumb and finger-roots
+of that hand while I use the other to find the fuse and stick it over
+the Andite. The shortest; three minutes.</p>
+
+<p>I think the valve is still moving&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>Then something drops round me; I am hauled tight against the
+stretcher; we are pulled strongly downwards with the wind buffeting
+and snatching, banged against the edge of something, and pulled
+through into silence and the dark.</p>
+
+<p>For a moment I do not understand; then I recognize the feel of Fragile
+Cargo, still clamping me to the stretcher, and I open my mouth and
+scream and scream.</p>
+
+<p>Clatter of feet. Hatch opens. Fragile Cargo goes limp.</p>
+
+<p>I stagger to my feet. Faint light through the hatch; B's head. I hold
+out the Andite stick and she turns and shouts; and a panel slides open
+in the wall so that the wind comes roaring in.</p>
+
+<p>I push the stick through and the wind snatches it away and it is gone.</p>
+
+<p>After that&mdash;</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>After that, for a while, nothing, I suppose, though I have no
+recollection of losing consciousness; only without any sense of break
+I find I am flat on my back on one of the seats in the cabin of the
+hopper.</p>
+
+<p>I sit up and say "How&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>B who is sitting on the floor beside me says that when the broadcaster
+was activated of course they came at once, only while they were
+waiting for the boat to reach land whole squads of land cars arrived
+and started combing the area, and some came up on top of the cliff and
+shone their headlights out over the sea so Mr. Yardo had to lurk
+against the cliff face and wait till I got into a position where he
+could pick me up and it was <i>frightfully</i> clever of me to think of
+floating up on antigrav&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>I forgot about the broadcaster.</p>
+
+<p>I forgot about the hopper come to that, there seemed to be nothing in
+the world except me and the stretcher and the enemy.</p>
+
+<p>Stretcher.</p>
+
+<p>I say, "Is M'Clare&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>At which moment Mr. Yardo turns from the controls with a wide smile of
+triumph and says "Eighteen twenty-seven, girls!" and the world goes
+weightless and swings upside down.</p>
+
+<p>Then still with no sense of any time-lapse I am lying in the big
+lighted hold, with the sound of trampling all round: it is somehow
+filtered and far off and despite the lights there seems to be a globe
+of darkness around my head. I hear my own voice repeating, "M'Clare?
+How's M'Clare?"</p>
+
+<p>A voice says distantly, without emphasis, "M'Clare? He's dead."</p>
+
+<p>The next time I come round it is dark. I am vaguely aware of having
+been unconscious for quite a while.</p>
+
+<p>There is a single thread of knowledge connecting this moment with the
+last: M'Clare's dead.</p>
+
+<p>This is the central factor: I seem to have been debating it with
+myself for a very long time.</p>
+
+<p>I suppose the truth is simply that the Universe never guarantees
+anything; life, or permanence, or that your best will be good enough.</p>
+
+<p>The rule is that you have to pick yourself up and go on; and lying
+here in the dark is not doing it.</p>
+
+<p>I turn on my side and see a cluster of self-luminous objects including
+a light switch. I reach for it.</p>
+
+<p>How did I get into a hospital?</p>
+
+<p>On second thoughts it is a cabin in the ship, or rather two of them
+with the partition torn out, I can see the ragged edge of it. There is
+a lot of paraphernalia around; I climb out to have a look.</p>
+
+<p>Holy horrors what's happened? Someone borrowed my legs and put them
+back wrong; my eyes also are not functioning well, the light is set at
+Minimum and I am still dazzled. I see a door and make for it to get
+Explanations from somebody.</p>
+
+<p>Arrived, I miss my footing and stumble against the door and on the
+other side someone says "Hello, Lizzie. Awake at last?"</p>
+
+<p>I think my heart stops for a moment. I can't find the latch. I am
+vaguely aware of beating something with my fists, and then the door
+gives, sticks, gives again and I stumble through and land on all fours
+the other side of it.</p>
+
+<p>Someone is calling: "Lizzie! Are you hurt? Where the devil have they
+all got to? Liz!"</p>
+
+<p>I sit up and say, "They said you were <i>dead</i>!"</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Who</i> did?"</p>
+
+<p>"I ... I ... someone in the hold. I said How's M'Clare? and they said
+you were dead."</p>
+
+<p>M'Clare frowns and says gently, "Come over here and sit down quietly
+for a bit. You've been dreaming."</p>
+
+<p>Have I? Maybe the whole thing was a dream&mdash;but if so how far does it
+go? Going down in the heli? The missile? The boat? Crawling through
+the black tunnel of a broken ship?</p>
+
+<p>No, because he is sitting in a sort of improvised chaise longue and
+his legs are evidently strapped in place under the blanket; he is
+fumbling with the fastening or something.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>I say "Hey! Cut that out!"</p>
+
+<p>He straightens up irritably.</p>
+
+<p>"Don't you start that, Lysistrata. I've been suffering the attentions
+of the damnedest collection of amateur nurses who ever handled a
+thermocouple, for over a week. I don't deny they've been very
+efficient, but when it comes to&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>Over a <i>week</i>?</p>
+
+<p>He nods. "My dear Lizzie, we left Incognita ten days ago. Amateur
+nursing again! They have some unholy book of rules which says that for
+Exposure, Exhaustion and Shock the best therapy is sleep. I don't
+doubt it, but it goes on to say that in extreme cases the patient has
+been known to benefit by as much as two weeks of it. I didn't find out
+that they were trying it on you until about thirty-six hours ago when
+I began inquiring why you weren't around. They kept me under for three
+days&mdash;in fact until their infernal Handbook said it was time for my
+leg muscles to have some exercise. Miss Lammergaw was the
+ring-leader."</p>
+
+<p>No wonder my legs feel as though someone exchanged the muscles for
+cotton wool, just wait till I get hold of Kirsty.</p>
+
+<p>If it hadn't been for her, I shouldn't have spent ten days
+remembering, even in my sleep, that&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>I say, "Hell's feathers, it was <i>you</i>!"</p>
+
+<p>M'Clare makes motions as though to start getting out of his chair,
+looking seriously alarmed. I say, "It was your voice! When I asked&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>M'Clare, quite definitely, starts to blush. Not much, but some.</p>
+
+<p>"Lizzie, I believe you're right. I have a sort of vague memory of
+someone asking how I was&mdash;and I gave what I took to be a truthful
+answer. I remember it seemed quite inconceivable that I could be
+alive. In fact I still don't understand it. Neither Yardo nor Miss
+Laydon could tell me. How <i>did</i> you get me out of that ship?"</p>
+
+<p>Well, I do my best to explain, glossing over one or two points; at the
+finish he closes his eyes and says nothing for a while.</p>
+
+<p>Then he says, "So except for this one man who saw you, you left no
+traces at all?"</p>
+
+<p>Not that I know of, but&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Do you know, five minutes later there were at least twenty men in
+that bay, most of them scientists? They don't seem to have found
+anything suspicious. Visibility was bad, of course, and you can't
+leave foot-prints in shingle&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>Hold on, what <i>is</i> all this?</p>
+
+<p>M'Clare says, "We've had two couriers while you were asleep. Yes, I
+know it's not ordinarily possible for a ship on Mass-Time to get news.
+One of these days someone will have an interesting problem in Cultural
+Engineering, working out how to integrate some of these Space Force
+secrets into our economic and social structure without upsetting the
+whole of the known volume. Though courier boats make their crews so
+infernally sick I doubt whether the present type will ever come into
+common use. Anyway, we've had transcripts of a good many broadcasts
+from Incognita, the last dated four days ago; and as far as we can
+tell they're interpreting <i>Gilgamesh</i> just as we meant them to.</p>
+
+<p>"The missile, by the way, was experimental, waiting to be test-fired
+the next day. The man in charge saw <i>Gilgamesh</i> on the alarm screens
+and got trigger-happy. The newscasters were divided as to whether he
+should be blamed or praised; they all seem to feel he averted a
+menace, at least temporarily, but some of them think the invaders
+could have been captured alive.</p>
+
+<p>"The first people on the scene came from a scientific camp; you and
+Miss Laydon saw their lights on the way down. You remember that area
+is geophysically interesting? Well, by extraordinary good luck an
+international group was there studying it. They rushed straight off to
+the site of the landing&mdash;they actually saw <i>Gilgamesh</i>, and she
+registered on some of their astronomical instruments, too. They must
+be a reckless lot. What's more, they started trying to locate her on
+the sea bottom the next day. Found both pieces; they're still trying
+to locate the nose. They were all set to try raising the smaller piece
+when their governments both announced in some haste that they were
+sending a properly equipped expedition. Jointly.</p>
+
+<p>"There's been no mention in any newscast of anyone seeing fairies or
+sea maidens&mdash;I expect the poor devil thinks you were a hallucination."</p>
+
+<p>So we brought it off.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+
+<p>I am very thankful in a distant sort of way, but right now the
+Incognitans have no more reality for me than the Lost Kafoozalum.</p>
+
+<p>M'Clare came through alive.</p>
+
+<p>I could spend a good deal of time just getting used to that fact, but
+there is something I ought to say and I don't know how.</p>
+
+<p>I inquire after his injuries and learn they are healing nicely.</p>
+
+<p>I look at him and he is frowning.</p>
+
+<p>He says, "Lizzie. Just before my well-meant but ineffective attempt at
+suicide&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>Here it comes.</p>
+
+<p>I say quick If he is worrying about all that nonsense he talked in
+order to distract my attention, forget it; I have.</p>
+
+<p>Silence, then he says wearily, "I talked nonsense, did I?"</p>
+
+<p>I say there is no need to worry, under the circumstances anyone would
+have a perfect right to be raving off his Nut.</p>
+
+<p>I then find I cannot bear this conversation any longer so I get up
+saying I expect he is tired and I will call someone.</p>
+
+<p>I get nearly to the door when</p>
+
+<p>"<i>No</i>, Lizzie! you can't let that crew loose on me just in order to
+change the conversation. Come back here. I appreciate your wish to
+spare my feelings, but it's wasted. We'll have this out here and now.</p>
+
+<p>"I remember quite well what I said, and so do you: I said that I loved
+you. I also said that I had intended to ask you to marry me as soon as
+you ceased to be one of my pupils. Well, the results of Finals were
+officially announced three days ago.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, I suppose I always knew what the answer would be, but I didn't
+want to spend the rest of my life wondering, because I never had the
+guts to ask you.</p>
+
+<p>"You don't dislike me as you used to&mdash;you've forgiven me for making
+you come to Russett&mdash;but you still think I'm a cold-blooded
+manipulator of other people's minds and emotions. So I am; it's part
+of the job.</p>
+
+<p>"You're quite right to distrust me for that, though. It is the danger
+of this profession, that we end up by looking on everybody and
+everything as a subject for manipulation. Even in our personal lives.
+I always knew that: I didn't begin to be afraid of it until I realized
+I was in love with you.</p>
+
+<p>"I could have made you love me, Lizzie. I could! I didn't try. Not
+that I didn't want love on those terms, or any terms. But to use
+professional ... tricks ... in private life, ends by destroying all
+reality. I always treated you exactly as I treated my other
+students&mdash;I think. But I could have made you think you loved me ...
+even if I am twice your age&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>This I cannot let pass, I say "Hi! According to College rumor you
+cannot be more than thirty-six; I'm twenty-three."</p>
+
+<p>M'Clare says in a bemused sort of way He will be thirty-seven in a
+couple of months.</p>
+
+<p>I say, "I will be twenty-four next week and your arithmetic is still
+screwy; and here is another datum you got wrong. I do love you. Very
+much."</p>
+
+<p>He says, "Golden Liz."</p>
+
+<p>Then other things which I remember all right, I shall keep them to
+remember any time I am tired, sick, cold, hungry Hundred-and-ninety&mdash;;
+but they are not for writing down.</p>
+
+<p>Then I suppose at some point we agreed it is time for me to go,
+because I find myself outside the cabin and there is Colonel
+Delano-Smith.</p>
+
+<p>He makes me a small speech about various matters ending that he hears
+he has to congratulate me.</p>
+
+<p>Huh?</p>
+
+<p>Oh, Space and Time did one of those unimitigated so-and-sos, my dear
+classmates, leave M'Clare's communicator on?</p>
+
+<p>The colonel says he heard I did very well in my Examinations.</p>
+
+<p>Sweet splitting photons I forgot all about Finals.</p>
+
+<p>It is just as well my Education has come to an honorable end, because
+... well, shades of ... well, Goodness gracious and likewise Dear me,
+I am going to marry a <i>Professor</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Better just stick to it I am going to marry M'Clare, it makes better
+sense that way.</p>
+
+<p>But Gosh we are going to have to do some re-adjusting to a changed
+Environment. Both of us.</p>
+
+<p>Oh, well, M'Clare is a Professor of Cultural Engineering and I just
+past my Final Exams in same; surely if anyone can we should be able to
+work out how you live Happily Ever After?</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 250px;">
+<img src="images/image_006.jpg" width="250" height="106" alt="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Lost Kafoozalum, by Pauline Ashwell
+
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Lost Kafoozalum, by Pauline Ashwell
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Lost Kafoozalum
+
+Author: Pauline Ashwell
+
+Illustrator: Schoenherr
+
+Release Date: November 8, 2009 [EBook #30427]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LOST KAFOOZALUM ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Sankar Viswanathan, Greg Weeks, and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ Transcriber's Note:
+
+ This etext was produced from Analog Science Fact & Fiction October 1960.
+ Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright
+ on this publication was renewed.
+
+
+
+ THE LOST KAFOOZALUM
+
+
+ by PAULINE ASHWELL
+
+
+ Illustrated by Schoenherr
+
+
+
+ _One of the beautiful things about a delusion is that no
+ matter how mad someone gets at it ... he can't do it any
+ harm. Therefore a delusion can be a fine thing for prodding
+ angry belligerents...._
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+I remember some bad times, most of them back home on Excenus 23; the
+worst was when Dad fell under the reaping machine but there was also
+the one when I got lost twenty miles from home with a dud radio, at
+the age of twelve; and the one when Uncle Charlie caught me practicing
+emergency turns in a helicar round the main weather-maker; and the one
+on Figuerra being chased by a cyber-crane; and the time when Dad
+decided to send me to Earth to do my Education.
+
+This time is bad in a different way, with no sharp edges but a kind of
+a desolation.
+
+Most people I know are feeling bad just now, because at Russett
+College we finished our Final Examination five days ago and Results
+are not due for a two weeks.
+
+My friend B Laydon says this is yet another Test anyone still sane at
+the end being proved tough enough to break a molar on; she says also
+The worst part is in bed remembering all the things she could have
+written and did not; The second worst is also in bed picturing how to
+explain to her parents when they get back to Earth that _someone_ has
+to come bottom and in a group as brilliant as Russett College Cultural
+Engineering Class this is really no disgrace.
+
+I am not worried that way so much, I cannot remember what I wrote
+anyway and I can think of one or two people I am pretty sure will come
+bottomer than me--or B either.
+
+I would prefer to think it is just Finals cause me to feel miserable
+but it is not.
+
+In Psychology they taught us The mind has the faculty of concealing
+any motive it is ashamed of, especially from itself; seems
+unfortunately mine does not have this gadget supplied.
+
+I never wanted to come to Earth. I was sent to Russett against my will
+and counting the days till I could get back to Home, Father and
+Excensus 23, but the sad truth is that now the longed-for moment is
+nearly on top of me I do not want to go.
+
+Dad's farm was a fine place to grow up, but now I had four years on
+Earth the thought of going back there makes me feel like a
+three-weeks' chicken got to get back in its shell.
+
+B and I are on an island in the Pacific. Her parents are on Caratacus
+researching on local art forms, so she and I came here to be miserable
+in company and away from the rest.
+
+It took me years on Earth to get used to all this water around, it
+seemed unnatural and dangerous to have it all lying loose that way,
+but now I shall miss even the Sea.
+
+The reason we have this long suspense over Finals is that they will
+not use Reading Machines to mark the papers for fear of cutting down
+critical judgement; so each paper has to be read word by word by three
+Examiners and there are forty-three of us and we wrote six papers
+each.
+
+What I think is I am sorry for the Examiners, but B says they were the
+ones who set the papers and it serves them perfectly right.
+
+I express surprise because D. J. M'Clare our Professor is one of them,
+but B says He is one of the greatest men in the galaxy, of course, but
+she gave up thinking him perfect _years_ ago.
+
+One of the main attractions on this Island is swimming under water,
+especially by moonlight. Dad sent me a fish-boat as a birthday present
+two years back, but I never used it yet on account of my
+above-mentioned attitude to water. Now I got this feeling of Carpe
+Diem, make the most of Earth while I am on it because probably I shall
+not pass this way again.
+
+The fourth day on the Island it is full moon at ten o'clock, so I
+pluck up courage to wriggle into the boat and go out under the Sea. B
+says Fish parading in and out of reefs just remind her of Cultural
+Engineering--crowd behavior--so she prefers to turn in early and find
+out what nightmares her subconscious will throw up _this_ time.
+
+The reefs by moonlight are everything they are supposed to be, why did
+I not do this often when I had the chance? I stay till my oxygen is
+nearly gone, then come out and sadly press the button that collapses
+the boat into a thirty-pound package of plastic hoops and oxygen cans.
+I sling it on my back and head for the chalet B and I hired among the
+coconut trees.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I am crossing an open space maybe fifty yards from it when a Thing
+drops on me out of the air.
+
+I do not see the Thing because part of it covers my face, and the rest
+is grabbed round my arms and my waist and my hips and whatever, I
+cannot see and I cannot scream and I cannot find anything to kick. The
+Thing is strong and rubbery and many-armed and warmish, and less than
+a second after I first feel it I am being hauled up into the air.
+
+I do not care for this at all.
+
+I am at least fifty feet up before it occurs to me to bite the hand
+that gags me and then I discover it is plastic, not alive at all. Then
+I feel self and encumberance scraping through some kind of aperture;
+there is a sharp click as of a door closing and the Thing goes limp
+all round me.
+
+I spit out the bit I am biting and it drops away so that I can see.
+
+Well!
+
+I am in a kind of a cup-shaped space maybe ten feet across but not
+higher than I am; there is a trap door in the ceiling; the Thing is
+lying all around me in a mess of plastic arms, with an extensible
+stalk connecting it to the wall. I kick free and it turns over
+exposing the label FRAGILE CARGO right across the back.
+
+The next thing I notice is two holdalls, B's and mine, clamped against
+the wall, and the next after that is the opening of a trap door in the
+ceiling and B's head silhouetted in it remarking Oh there you are Liz.
+
+I confirm this statement and ask for explanations.
+
+B says She doesn't understand all of it but it is all right.
+
+It is not all right I reply, if she has joined some Society such as
+for the Realization of Fictitious Improbabilities that is her
+privilege but no reason to involve me.
+
+B says Why do I not stop talking and come up and see for myself?
+
+There is a slight hitch when I jam in the trap door, then B helps me
+get the boat off my back and I drop it on the Fragile Cargo and emerge
+into the cabin of a Hopper, drop-shaped, cargo-carrying; I have been
+in its hold till now.
+
+There are one or two peculiar points about it, or maybe one or two
+hundred, such as the rate at which we are ascending which seems to be
+bringing us right into the Stratosphere; but the main thing I notice
+is the pilot. He has his back to us but is recognizably Ram Gopal who
+graduated in Cultural Engineering last year, Rumor says next to top of
+his class.
+
+I ask him what kind of a melodramatic shenanigan is this?
+
+B says We had to leave quietly in a hurry without attracting attention
+so she booked us out at the Hotel _hours_ ago and she and Ram have
+been hanging around waiting for me ever since.
+
+I point out that the scope-trace of an Unidentified Flying Object will
+occasion a lot more remark than a normal departure even at midnight.
+
+At this Ram smiles in an inscrutable Oriental manner and B gets nearly
+as cross as I do, seems she has mentioned this point before.
+
+We have not gone into it properly when the cabin suddenly shifts
+through a right angle. B and I go sliding down the vertical floor and
+end sitting on a window. There is a jolt and a shudder and Ram mutters
+things in Hindi and then suddenly Up is nowhere at all.
+
+B and I scramble off the window and grab fixtures so as to stay put.
+The stars have gone and we can see nothing except the dim glow over
+the instruments; then suddenly lights go on outside.
+
+We look out into the hold of a ship.
+
+Our ten-foot teardrop is sitting next to another one, like two eggs
+in a rack. On the other side is a bulkhead; behind, the curve of the
+hull; and directly ahead an empty space, then another bulkhead and an
+open door, through which after a few seconds a head pokes cautiously.
+
+The head is then followed by a body which kicks off against the wall
+and sails slowly towards us. Ram presses a stud and a door slides open
+in the hopper; but the new arrival stops himself with a hand on either
+side of the frame, his legs trailing any old how behind him. It is
+Peter Yeng Sen who graduated the year I did my Field Work.
+
+He says, Gopal, dear fellow, there was no need for the knocking, we
+heard the bell all right.
+
+Ram grumbles something about the guide beam being miss-set, and slides
+out of his chair. Peter announces that we have only just made it as
+the deadline is in seven minutes time; he waves B and me out of the
+hopper, through the door and into a corridor where a certain irregular
+vibration is coming from the walls.
+
+Ram asks what is that tapping? And Peter sighs and says The present
+generation of students has no discipline at all.
+
+At this B brakes with one hand against the wall and cocks her head to
+listen; next moment she laughs and starts banging with her fist on the
+wall.
+
+Peter exclaims in Mandarin and tows her away by one wrist like a
+reluctant kite. The rapping starts again on the far side of the wall
+and I suddenly recognize a primitive signaling system called Regret
+or something, I guess because it was used by people in situations they
+did not like such as Sinking ships or solitary confinement; it is done
+by tapping water pipes and such.
+
+Someone found it in a book and the more childish element in College
+learned it up for signaling during compulsory lectures. Interest
+waning abruptly when the lecturers started to learn it, too.
+
+I never paid much attention not expecting to be in Solitary
+confinement much; this just shows you; next moment Ram opens a door
+and pushes me through it, the door clicks behind me and Solitary
+confinement is what I am in.
+
+I remember this code is really called Remorse which is what I feel for
+not learning when I had the chance.
+
+However I do not have long for it, a speaker in the wall requests
+everyone to lie down as acceleration is about to begin. I strap down
+on the couch which fills half the compartment, countdown begins and at
+zero the floor is suddenly _down_ once more.
+
+I wait till my stomach settles, then rise to explore.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I am in an oblong room about eight by twelve, it looks as though it
+had been hastily partitioned off from a larger space. The walls are
+prefab plastic sheet, the rest is standard fittings slung in and
+bolted down with the fastenings showing.
+
+How many of my classmates are on this ship? _Remorse_ again as
+tapping starts on either side of me.
+
+Discarding such Hypotheses as that Ram and Peter are going to hold us
+to ransom--which might work for me, since my Dad somehow got to be a
+millionaire, but not for B because her parents think money is
+vulgar--or that we are being carried off to found an ideal Colony
+somewhere--any first-year student can tell you why that won't
+work--only one idea seems plausible.
+
+This is that Finals were not final and we are in for a Test of some
+sort.
+
+After ten minutes I get some evidence; a Reading Machine is trundled
+in, the door immediately slamming shut so I do not see who trundles
+it.
+
+I prowl round it looking for tricks but it seems standard; I take a
+seat in it, put on the headset and turn the switch.
+
+Hypothesis confirmed, I suppose.
+
+There is a reel in place and it contains background information on a
+problem in Cultural Engineering all set out the way we are taught to
+do it in Class. The Problem concerns developments on a planet got
+settled by two groups during the Exodus and been isolated ever since.
+
+Well while a Reading Machine is running there is no time to think, it
+crams in data at full speed and evaluation has to wait. However my
+subconscious goes into action and when the reel stops it produces a
+Suspicion full grown.
+
+The thing is too tidy.
+
+When we were First Year we dreamed up situations like this and argued
+like mad over them, but they were a lot too neat for real life and too
+dramatic as well.
+
+However one thing M'Clare said to us, and every other lecturer too,
+just before the Finals, was Do not spend time trying to figure what
+the examiner was after but answer the question as set; I am more than
+halfway decided this is some mysterious Oriental idea of a joke but I
+get busy thinking in case it is not.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+The Problem goes like this:
+
+The planet is called Incognita in the reel and it is right on the edge
+of the known volume of space, it got settled by two groups somewhere
+between three and three and a half centuries ago. The rest of the
+human race never heard of it till maybe three years back.
+
+(Well it happens that way, inhabited planets are still turning up
+eight or ten a century, on account of during the Exodus some folk were
+willing to travel a year or more so as to get away from the rest).
+
+The ship that spotted the planet as inhabited did not land, but
+reported to Central Government, Earth, who shipped observers out to
+take a look.
+
+(There was a rumor circulating at Russett that the Terry Government
+might employ some of us on that kind of job, but it never got
+official. I do not know whether to believe this bit or not.)
+
+It is stated the observers landed secretly and mingled with the
+natives unobserved.
+
+(This is not physically impossible but sounds too like a Field Trip to
+be true.)
+
+The observers are not named but stated to be graduates of the Cultural
+Engineering Class.
+
+They put in a few months' work and sent home unanimous Crash Priority
+reports the situation is _bad_, getting worse and the prognosis is
+War.
+
+Brother.
+
+I know people had wars, I know one reason we do not have them now is
+just that with so many planets and cheap transportation, pressure has
+other outlets; these people scrapped their ships for factories and
+never built more.
+
+But.
+
+There are only about ten million of them and surely to goodness a
+whole planet gives room enough to keep out of each other's hair?
+
+Well this is not Reasoning but a Reaction, I go back to the data for
+another look.
+
+The root trouble is stated to be that two groups landed on the planet
+without knowing the others were there, when they met thirty years
+later they got a disagreeable shock.
+
+I cannot see there was any basic difference between them, they were
+very similar, especially in that neither lot wanted anything to do
+with people they had not picked themselves.
+
+So they divided the planet along a Great Circle which left two of the
+main land-masses in one hemisphere and two in another.
+
+They agree each to keep to its own section and leave the other alone.
+
+Twenty years later, trading like mad; each has certain minerals the
+other lacks; each has certain agricultural products the other finds it
+difficult to grow.
+
+You think this leads to Co-operation Friendship and ultimate
+Federation?
+
+I will not go into the incidents that make each side feel it is being
+gypped, it is enough that from time to time each has a scarcity or
+hold-up on deliveries that upsets the other's economy; and they start
+experimenting to become self-sufficient: and the exporter's economy is
+upset in turn. And each thinks the other did it on purpose.
+
+This sort of situation reacts internally leading to Politics.
+
+There are troubles about a medium-sized island on the dividing line,
+and the profits from interhemispherical transport, and the laws of
+interhemispherical trade.
+
+It takes maybe two hundred years, but finally each has expanded the
+Police into an army with a whole spectrum of weapons not to be used on
+any account except for Defense.
+
+This situation lasts seventy years getting worse all the time, now
+Rumors have started on each side that the other is developing an
+Ultimate Weapon, and the political parties not in power are agitating
+to move first before the thing is complete.
+
+The observers report War not maybe this year or the next but within
+ten, and if neither side was looking for an Ultimate Weapon to begin
+with they certainly are now.
+
+Taking all this at face value there seems an obvious solution.
+
+I am thinking this over in an academic sort of way when an itchy
+trickle of sweat starts down my vertebrae.
+
+Who is going to apply this solution? Because if this is anything but
+another Test, or the output of a diseased sense of humor, I would be
+sorry for somebody.
+
+I dial black coffee on the wall servitor and wish B were here so we
+could prove to each other the thing is just an exercise; I do not do
+so well at spotting proofs on my own.
+
+Most of our class exercises have concerned something that happened,
+once.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+After about ninety minutes the speaker requests me to write not more
+than one thousand words on any scheme to improve the situation and the
+equipment required for it.
+
+I spent ten minutes verbalizing the basic idea and an hour or so on
+"equipment"; the longer I go on the more unlikely it all seems. In the
+end I have maybe two hundred words which acting on instructions I post
+through a slit in the door.
+
+Five minutes later I realize I have forgotten the Time Factor.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+If the original ship took a year to reach Incognita, it will take at
+least four months now; therefore it is more than four months since
+that report was written and will be more than a year before anyone
+arrives and War may have started already.
+
+I sit back and by transition of ideas start to wonder where this ship
+is heading? We are still at one gee and even on Mass-Time you cannot
+juggle apparent acceleration and spatial transition outside certain
+limits; we are not just orbiting but must be well outside the Solar
+System by now.
+
+The speaker announces Everyone will now get some rest; I smell
+sleep-gas for one moment and have just time to lie down.
+
+I guess I was tired, at that.
+
+When I wake I feel more cheerful than I have for weeks; analysis
+indicates I am glad something is _happening_ even if it is another
+Exam.
+
+I dial breakfast but am too restless to eat; I wonder how long this
+goes on or whether I am supposed to show Initiative and break out; I
+am examining things with this in mind when the speaker comes to life
+again.
+
+It says, "Ladies and gentlemen. You have not been told whether the
+problem that you studied yesterday concerned a real situation or an
+imaginary one. You have all outlined measures which you think would
+improve the situation described. Please consider, seriously, whether
+you would be prepared to take part yourself in the application of your
+plan."
+
+Brother.
+
+There is no way to tell whether those who say No will be counted
+cowardly or those who say Yes rash idiots or what, the owner of that
+voice has his inflections too well trained to give anything away
+except intentionally.
+
+D. J. M'Clare.
+
+Not in person but a recording, anyway M'Clare is on Earth surrounded
+by exam papers.
+
+I sit back and try to think, honestly, if that crack-brained notion I
+wrote out last night were going to be tried in dead earnest, would I
+take a hand in it?
+
+The trouble is, hearing M'Clare's voice has convinced me it is a Test,
+I don't know whether it is testing my courage or my prudence in fact I
+might as well toss for it.
+
+Heads I am crazy, Tails a defaulter; Tails is what it is.
+
+I seize my styler and write the decision down.
+
+There is the slit in the door.
+
+I twiddle the note and think Well nobody asked for it yet.
+
+Suppose it is real, after all?
+
+I remember the itchy, sweaty feeling I got yesterday and try to
+picture really embarking on a thing like this, but I cannot work up
+any lather today.
+
+I begin to picture M'Clare reading my decision not to back up my own
+idea.
+
+I pick up the coin and juggle it around.
+
+The speaker remarks When I am quite ready will I please make a note
+of my decision and post it through the door.
+
+I go on flipping the coin up and presently it drops on the floor, it
+is Heads this time.
+
+Tossing coins is a pretty feeble way to decide.
+
+I drop the note on the floor and take another sheet and write "YES.
+Lysistrata Lee."
+
+Using that name seems to make it more legal.
+
+I slip the paper in the slit and poke till it falls through on the
+other side of the door.
+
+I am suddenly immensely hungry and dial breakfast all over again.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Just as I finish M'Clare's voice starts once more.
+
+"It's always the minor matters that cause the most difficulty. The
+timing of this announcement has cost me as much thought as any aspect
+of the arrangements. The trouble is that however honest you are--and
+your honesty has been tested repeatedly--and however strong your
+imagination--about half of your training has been devoted to
+developing it--you can't possibly be sure, answering a hypothetical
+question, that you are giving the answer you would choose if you knew
+it was asked in dead earnest.
+
+"Those of you who answered the question in the negative are out of
+this. They have been told that it was a test, of an experimental
+nature, and have been asked to keep the whole thing a secret. They
+will be returning to Earth in a few hours' time. I ask the rest of
+you to think it over once again. Your decision is still private. Only
+the two people who gathered you together know which members of the
+class are in this ship. The list of possible helpers was compiled by a
+computer. I haven't seen it myself.
+
+"You have a further half hour in which to make up your minds finally.
+Please remember that if you have any private reservations on the
+matter, or if you are secretly afraid, you may endanger us all. You
+all know enough psychology to realize this.
+
+"If you still decide in favor of the project, write your name on a
+slip of paper and post it as before. If you are not absolutely certain
+about it, do nothing. Please think it over for half an hour."
+
+Me, I had enough thinking. I write my name--just L. Lee--and post it
+straight away.
+
+However I cannot stop thinking altogether. I guess I think very hard,
+in fact. My Subconscious insists afterwards that it did register the
+plop as something came through the slit, but my Conscious failed to
+notice it at all.
+
+Hours later--my watch says twenty-five minutes but I guess the
+Mass-Time has affected it--anyway I had three times too much solitary
+confinement--when will they let me out of here?--there is a knock at
+the door and a second later it slides apart.
+
+I am expecting Ram or Peter so it takes me an appreciable fraction of
+a moment to realize I am seeing D. J. M'Clare.
+
+Then I remember he is back on Earth buried in Exam papers and
+conclude I am having a hallucination.
+
+This figment of my imagination says politely, "Do you mind if I sit
+down?"
+
+He collapses on the couch as though thoroughly glad of it.
+
+It is a strange thing, every time I see M'Clare I am startled all over
+again at how good-looking he is; seems I forget it between times which
+is maybe why I never fell for him as most female students do.
+
+However what strikes me this time is that he looks tired,
+three-days-sleepless tired with worries on top.
+
+I guess he is real, at that.
+
+He says, "Don't look so accusing, Lizzie, I only just got on this ship
+myself."
+
+This does not make sense; you cannot just arrive on a ship twenty-four
+hours after it goes on Mass-Time; or can you?
+
+M'Clare leans back and closes his eyes and inquires whether I am one
+of the Morse enthusiasts?
+
+So that is the name; I say when we get back I will learn it first
+thing.
+
+"Well," says he, "I did my best to arrange privacy for all of you;
+with so many ingenious idiots on board I'm not really surprised that
+they managed to circumvent me. I had to cheat and check that you
+really were on the list; and I knew that whoever backed out you'd
+still be on board."
+
+So I should hope he might: Horrors there is my first answer screwed
+up on the floor and Writing side top-most.
+
+However he has not noticed it, he goes on "Anyway you of all people
+won't be thought to have dropped out because you were afraid."
+
+I have just managed to hook my heel over the note and get it out of
+sight, M'Clare has paused for an answer and I have to dredge my
+Sub-threshold memories for--
+
+WHAT?
+
+ * * * * *
+
+M'Clare opens his eyes and says like I am enacting Last Straw, "Have
+some sense, Lizzie." Then in a different tone, "Ram says he gave you
+the letter half an hour ago."
+
+What letter?
+
+My brain suddenly registers a small pale patch been occupying a corner
+of my retina for the last half hour; it turns out to be a letter
+postmarked Excenus 23.
+
+I disembowel it with one jerk. It is from my Dad and runs like this:
+
+ My dear Liz,
+
+ Thank you for your last letter, glad you are keeping fit and
+ so am I.
+
+ I just got a letter from your College saying you will get a
+ degree conferred on you on September 12th and parents if on
+ Earth will be welcome.
+
+ Well Liz this I got to see and Charlie says the same, but
+ the letter says too Terran Authority will not give a permit
+ to visit Earth just for this, so I wangled on to a
+ Delegation which is coming to discuss trade with the
+ Department of Commerce. Charlie and I will be arriving on
+ Earth on August 24th.
+
+ Liz it is good to think I shall be seeing you again after
+ four years. There are some things about your future I meant
+ to write to Professor M'Clare about, but now I shall be able
+ to talk it over direct. Please give him my regards.
+
+ Be seeing you Lizzie girl, your affectionate Dad
+
+ J. X. Lee.
+
+Dear old Dad, after all these years farming with a weather-maker on a
+drydust planet I want to see his face the first time he sees real
+rain.
+
+Hell's fires and shades of darkness, I shan't be there!
+
+M'Clare says, "Your father wrote to me saying that he will be arriving
+on Earth on 24th August. I take it your letter says the same. I came
+on a dispatch boat; you can go back on it."
+
+_Now_ what is he talking about? Then I get the drift.
+
+I say, "Look. So Dad will be on Earth before we get back. What
+difference does that make?"
+
+"You can't let him arrive and find you missing."
+
+Well I admit to a qualm at the thought of Dad let loose on Earth
+without me, but after all Uncle Charlie is a born Terrie and can keep
+him in line; Hell he is old enough to look after himself anyway.
+
+"You met my Dad," I point out. "You think J. X. Lee would want any
+daughter of his backing out on a job so as to hold his hand? I can
+send him a letter saying I am off on a job or a Test or whatever I
+please and hold everything till I get back; what are you doing about
+people's families on Earth already?"
+
+M'Clare says we were all selected as having families not on Earth at
+present, and I must go back.
+
+I say like Hell I will.
+
+He says he is my official guardian and responsible for me.
+
+I say he is just as responsible for everyone else on this ship.
+
+I spent years and years trying to think up a remark would really get
+home to M'Clare; well I have done it now.
+
+I say, "Look. You are tired and worried and maybe not thinking so well
+just now.
+
+"I know this is a very risky job, don't think I missed that at all. I
+tried hard to imagine it like you said over the speaker. I cannot
+quite imagine dying but I know how Dad will feel if I do.
+
+"I did my level best to scare myself sick, then I decided it is just
+plain worth the risk anyway.
+
+"To work out a thing like this you have to have a kind of arithmetic,
+you add in everybody's feelings with the other factors, then if you
+get a plus answer you forget everything else and go right ahead.
+
+"I am not going to think about it any more, because I added up the sum
+and got the answer and upsetting my nerves won't help. I guess you
+worked out the sum, too. You decided four million people were worth
+risking twenty, even if they do have parents. Even if they are your
+students. So they are, too, and you gave us all a chance to say No.
+
+"Well nothing has altered that, only now the values look different to
+you because you are tired and worried and probably missed breakfast,
+too."
+
+Brother some speech, I wonder what got into me? M'Clare is wondering,
+too, or maybe gone to sleep sitting, it is some time before he answers
+me.
+
+"Miss Lee, you are deplorably right on one thing at least. I don't
+know whether I was fit to make such a decision when I made it, but I'm
+not fit now. As far as you personally are concerned...." He trails off
+looking tireder than ever, then picks up again suddenly. "You are
+again quite right, I am every bit as responsible for the other people
+on board as I am for you."
+
+He climbs slowly to his feet and walks out without another word.
+
+The door is left open and I take this as an invitation to freedom and
+shoot through in case it was a mistake.
+
+No because Ram is opening doors all along the corridor and ten of
+Russett's brightest come pouring out like mercury finding its own
+level and coalesce in the middle of the floor.
+
+The effect of release is such that after four minutes Peter Yeng Sen's
+head appears at the top of a stairway and he says the crew is lifting
+the deck plates, will we for Time's sake go along to the Conference
+Room which is soundproof.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+The Conference Room is on the next deck and like our cabins shows
+signs of hasty construction; the soundproofing is there but the
+acoustics are kind of muffled and the generator is not boxed in but
+has cables trailing all over, and the fastenings have a strong but
+temporary look.
+
+Otherwise there is a big table and a lot of chairs and a small
+projection box in front of each with a note-taker beside.
+
+It is maybe this very functional setup or maybe the dead flatness of
+our voices in the damped room, but we do not have so much to talk
+about any more. We automatically take places at the table, all at one
+end, leaving seven vacant chairs near the door.
+
+Looking round, I wonder what principle we were selected on.
+
+Of my special friends Eru Te Whangoa and Kirsty Lammergaw are present
+but Lily Chen and Likofo Komom'baratse and Jean LeBrun are not; we
+have Cray Patterson who is one of my special enemies but not Blazer
+Weigh or the Astral Cad; the rest are P. Zapotec, Nick Howard, Aro
+Mestah, Dillie Dixie, Pavel Christianovitch, Lennie DiMaggio and
+Shootright Crow.
+
+Eru is at the end of the table, opposite the door, and maybe feels
+this position puts it up to him to start the discussion; he opens by
+remarking "So nobody took the opportunity to withdraw."
+
+Cray Patterson lifts his eyebrows ceilingwards and drawls out that the
+decision was supposed to be a private one.
+
+B says "Maybe but it did not work out that way, everyone who learned
+Morse knows who was on the ship, anyway they are all still here so
+what does it matter? And M'Clare would not have picked people who were
+going to funk it, after all."
+
+My chair gets a kick on the ankle which I suppose was meant for B; Eru
+is six foot five but even his legs do not quite reach; he is the only
+one of us facing the door.
+
+M'Clare has somehow shed his weariness; he looks stern but fresh as a
+daisy. There are four with him; Ram and Peter looking serious, one
+stranger in Evercleans looking determined to enjoy the party and
+another in uniform looking as though nothing would make him.
+
+M'Clare introduces the strangers as Colonel Delano-Smith and Mr.
+Yardo. They all sit down at the other end of the table; then he frowns
+at us and begins like this:
+
+"Miss Laydon is mistaken. You were not selected on any such grounds as
+she suggests. I may say that I was astonished at the readiness with
+which you all engaged yourselves to take part in such a desperate
+gamble; and, seeing that for the last four years I have been trying to
+persuade you that it is worth while, before making a decision of any
+importance, to spend a certain amount of thought on it, I was
+discouraged as well."
+
+Oh.
+
+"The criterion upon which you were selected was a very simple one. As
+I told you, you were picked not by me but by a computer; the one in
+the College Office which registers such information as your home
+addresses and present whereabouts. You are simply that section of the
+class which could be picked up without attracting attention, because
+you all happened to be on holiday by yourselves or with other members
+of the class; and because your nearest relatives are not on Earth at
+present."
+
+Oh, well.
+
+All of us can see M'Clare is doing a job of deflation on us for
+reasons of his own, but it works for all that.
+
+He now seems to feel the job is complete and relaxes a bit.
+
+"I was interested to see that you all, without exception, hit on
+variations of the same idea. It is of course the obvious way to deal
+with the problem." He smiles at us suddenly and I get mad at myself
+because I know he is following the rules for introducing a desired
+state of mind, but I am responding as meant. "I'll read you the most
+succinct expression of it; you may be able to guess the author."
+
+Business with bits of paper.
+
+"Here it is. I quote: 'Drag in some outsider looks like he is going
+for both sides; they will gang up on him.'"
+
+Yells of laughter and shouts of "Lizzie Lee!" even the two strangers
+produce sympathetic grins; I do not find it so funny as all that
+myself.
+
+"Ideas as to the form the 'outsider' should take were more varied.
+This is a matter I propose to leave you to work out together, with the
+assistance of Colonel Delano-Smith and Mr. Yardo. Te Whangoa, you
+take the chair."
+
+Exit M'Clare.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+This leaves the two halves of the table eying one another. Ram and
+Peter have been through this kind of session in their time; now they
+are leaning back preparing to watch us work. It is plain we are
+supposed to impress the abilities of Russett near-graduates on the two
+strangers, and for some moments we are all occupied taking them in.
+Colonel Delano-Smith is a small, neat guy with a face that has all the
+muscular machinery for producing an expression; he just doesn't care
+to use it. Mr. Yardo is taller than any of us except Eru and flesh is
+spread very thin on his bones, including his face which splits now and
+then in a grin like an affable skeleton. Where the colonel fits is
+guessable enough, Mr. Yardo is presumably Expert at something but no
+data on _what_.
+
+Eru rests his hands on the table and says we had better start; will
+somebody kindly outline an idea for making the Incognitans "gang up"?
+The simpler the better and it does not matter whether it is workable
+or not; pulling it to pieces will give us a start.
+
+We all wait to see who will rush in; then I catch Eru's eye and see I
+am elected Clown again. I say "Send them a letter postmarked Outer
+Space signed BEM saying we lost our own planet in a nova and will take
+over theirs two weeks from Tuesday."
+
+Mr. Yardo utters a sharp "Ha! Ha!" but it is not seconded; the
+colonel having been expressionless all along becomes more so; Eru
+says, "Thank you, Lizzie." He looks across at Cray who is opposite me;
+Cray says there are many points on which he might comment; to take
+only one, two weeks from Tuesday leaves little time for 'ganging up',
+and what happens when the BEMs fail to come?
+
+We are suddenly back in the atmosphere of a seminar; Eru's glance
+moves to P. Zapotec sitting next to Cray, and he says, "These BEMs who
+lost their home planet in a nova, how many ships have they? Without a
+base they cannot be very dangerous unless their fleet is very large."
+
+It goes round the table.
+
+Pavel: "How would BEMs learn to write?"
+
+Nick: "How are they supposed to know that Incognita is inhabited? How
+do they address the letter?"
+
+The Crow: "Huh. Why write letters? Invaders just invade."
+
+Kirsty: "We don't want to inflame these people against alien races. We
+might find one some day. It seems to me this idea might have all sorts
+of undesirable by-products. Suppose each side regards it as a ruse on
+the part of the other. We might touch off a war instead of preventing
+it. Suppose they turn over to preparations for repelling the invaders,
+to an extent that cripples their economy? Suppose a panic starts?"
+
+Dilly: "Say, Mr. Chairman, is there any of this idea left at all? How
+about an interim summary?"
+
+Eru coughs to get a moment for thought, then says:
+
+"In brief, the problem is to provide a menace against which the two
+groups will be forced to unite. It must have certain characteristics.
+
+"It must be sufficiently far off in time for the threat to last
+several years, long enough to force them into a real combination.
+
+"It must obviously be a plausible danger and they must get to know of
+it in a plausible manner. Invasion from outside is the only threat so
+far suggested.
+
+"It must be a limited threat. That is, it must appear to come from one
+well-defined group. The rest of the Universe should appear benevolent
+or neutral."
+
+He just stops, rather as though there is something else to come; while
+the rest of us are waiting B sticks her oar in to the following
+effect.
+
+"Yes, but look, suppose this goes wrong; it's all very well to make
+plans but suppose we get some of Kirsty's side-effects just the same,
+well what I mean is suppose it makes the mess worse instead of better
+we want some way we can sort of switch it off again.
+
+"Look this is just an illustration, but suppose the Menace was
+pirates, if it went wrong we could have an Earth ship make official
+contact and they could just happen to say By the way have you seen
+anything of some pirates, Earth fleet wiped them up in this sector
+about six months ago.
+
+"That would mean the whole crew conniving, so it won't do, but you
+see what I mean."
+
+There is a bit of silence, then Aro says, "I think we should start
+fresh. We have had criticisms of Lizzie's suggestion, which was not
+perhaps wholly serious, and as Dilly says there is little of it left,
+except the idea of a threat of invasion. The idea of an alien
+intelligent race has objections and would be very difficult to fake.
+The invaders must be men from another planet. Another unknown one. But
+how do the people of Incognita come to know that they exist?"
+
+More silence, then I hear my own voice speaking although it was my
+intention to keep quiet for once: it sounds kind of creaky and it
+says: "A ship. A crashed ship from Outside."
+
+Whereupon another voice says, "Really! Am I expected to swallow this?"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+We had just about forgotten the colonel, not to mention Mr. Yardo who
+contributes another "Ha! Ha!" so this reminder comes as a slight
+shock, nor do we see what he is talking about but this he proceeds to
+explain.
+
+"I don't know why M'Clare thought it necessary to stage this
+discussion. I am already acquainted with his plan and have had orders
+to co-operate. I have expressed my opinion on using undergraduates in
+a job like this and have been overruled. If he, or you, imagine that
+priming you to bring out his ideas like this is going to reconcile me
+to the whole business you are mistaken. He might have chosen a more
+suitable mouthpiece than that child with the curly hair--"
+
+Here everybody wishes to reply at once; the resulting jam produces a
+moment of silence and I get in first.
+
+"As for curly hair I am rising twenty-four and I was only saying what
+we all thought, if we have the same ideas as M'Clare that is because
+he taught us for four years. How else would you set about it anyway?"
+
+My fellow students pick up their stylers and tap solemnly three times
+on the table; this is the Russett equivalent of "Hear! Hear!" and the
+colonel is surprised.
+
+Eru says coldly, "This discussion has not been rehearsed. As Lizzie ... as
+Miss Lee says, we have been working and thinking together for four years
+and have been taught by the same people."
+
+"Very well," says Delano-Smith testily. "Tell me this, please: Do you
+regard this idea as practicable?"
+
+Cray tilts his chair back and remarks to the ceiling, "This is rather
+a farce. I suppose we had to go through our paces for the colonel's
+benefit--and Mr. Yardo's of course--but can't we be briefed properly
+now?"
+
+"What do you mean by that?" snaps the colonel.
+
+"It's been obvious right along," says Cray, balancing his styler on
+one forefinger, "so obvious none of us has bothered to mention it,
+that accepting the normal limitations of Mass-Time, the idea of
+interfering in Incognita was doomed before it began. No conventional
+ship would have much hope of arriving before war broke out; and if it
+did arrive it couldn't do anything effective. Therefore I assume that
+this is not a conventional ship. I might accept that the Government
+has sent us out in a futile attempt to do the impossible, but I
+wouldn't believe that of M'Clare."
+
+Cray is the only Terry I know acts like an Outsider's idea of one;
+many find this difficult to take and the colonel is plainly one of
+them. Eru intervenes quickly.
+
+"I imagine we all realized that. Anyway this ship is obviously not a
+conventional model. If you accept the usual Mass-Time relationship
+between the rate of transition and the fifth power of the apparent
+acceleration, we must have reached about four times the maximum
+already."
+
+"Ram!" says B suddenly, "What did you do to stop the Hotel scope
+registering the little ship you picked up me and Lizzie in?"
+
+Everybody cuts in with something they have noticed about the
+capabilities of this ship or the hoppers, and Lenny starts hammering
+on the table and chanting! "Brief! Brief! Brief!" and others are just
+starting to join in when Eru bangs on the table and glares us all
+down.
+
+Having got silence, he says very quietly, "Colonel Delano-Smith, I
+doubt whether this discussion can usefully proceed without a good deal
+more information; will you take over?"
+
+The colonel looks round at all the eager earnest interested maps
+hastily put on for his benefit and decides to take the plunge.
+
+"Very well. I suppose it is ... very well. The decision to use
+students from Russett was made at a very high level, and I suppose--"
+Instead of saying "Very well" again he shrugs his shoulders and gets
+down to it.
+
+"The report from the planet we decided to call 'Incognita' was
+received thirty-one days ago. The Department of Spatial Affairs has
+certain resources which are not generally known. This ship is one of
+them. She works on a modified version of Mass-Time which enables her
+to use about a thousand channels instead of the normal limit of two
+hundred; for good and sufficient reasons this has not been generally
+released."
+
+Pause while we are silently dared to doubt the Virtue and sufficiency
+of these reasons which personally I do not.
+
+"To travel to Incognita direct would take about fifteen days by the
+shortest route. We shall take eighteen days as we shall have to make a
+detour."
+
+But presumably we shall take only fifteen days back. Hurrah we can
+spend a week round the planet and still be back in time for
+Commemoration. We shall skip maybe a million awkward questions and I
+shall not disappoint Dad.
+
+It is plain the colonel is not filled with joy; far from it, he did
+not enjoy revealing a Departmental secret however obvious, but he
+likes the next item even less.
+
+"We shall detour to an uninhabited system twelve days' transit time
+from here and make contact with another ship, the _Gilgamesh_."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+At which Lennie DiMaggio who has been silent till now brings his fist
+down on the table and exclaims, "You _can't_!"
+
+Lennie is much upset for some reason; Delano-Smith gives him a
+peculiar look and says what does he know about it? and Lennie starts
+to stutter.
+
+Cray remarks that Lennie's childhood hobby appears to have been
+spaceships and he suffers from arrested development.
+
+B says it is well known Lennie is mad about the Space Force and why
+not? It seems to have uses Go on and tell us Lennie.
+
+Lennie says "_G-Gilgamesh_ was lost three hundred years ago!"
+
+"The flaw in that statement," says Cray after a pause, "is that this
+may be another ship of the same name."
+
+"No," says the colonel. "Explorer Class cruiser. They went out of
+service two hundred eighty years back."
+
+The Space Force, I remember, does not re-use names of lost ships: some
+says Very Proper Feeling some say Superstitious Rot.
+
+B says, "When was she found again?"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Lennie says it was j-just thirty-seven revolutions of his native
+planet which means f-f-fifty-three Terrestrial years ago, she was
+found by an Interplanetary scout called _Crusoe_.
+
+Judging by the colonel's expression this data is Classified; he does
+not know that Lennie's family come from one of the oldest settled
+planets and are space-goers to a man, woman, and juvenile; they pick
+up ship gossip the way others hear about the relations of people next
+door.
+
+Lennie goes on to say that the Explorer Class were the first official
+exploration ships sent out from Earth when the Terries decided to find
+out what happened to the colonies formed during the Exodus.
+_Gilgamesh_ was the first to re-make contact with Garuda, Legba,
+Lister, Cor-bis and Antelope; she vanished on her third voyage.
+
+"Where was she found?" asks Eru.
+
+"Near the p-p-pole of an uninhabited planet--maybe I shouldn't say
+where because that may be secret, but the rest's History if you know
+where to look."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Maybe the colonel approves this discretion; anyway his face thaws very
+slightly unless I am Imagining it.
+
+"_Gilgamesh_ crashed," he says. "Near as we can make out from the log,
+she visited Seleucis system. That's a swarmer sun. Fifty-seven
+planets, three settled; and any number of fragments. The navigator
+calculated that after a few more revolutions one of the fragments was
+going to crash on an inhabited planet. Might have done a lot of
+damage. They decided to tow it out of the way.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+"Grappling-beams hadn't been invented. They thought they could use
+Mass-Time on it a kind of reverse thrust--throw it off course.
+
+"Mass-Time wasn't so well understood then. Bit off more than they
+could chew. Set up a topological relation that drained all the free
+energy out of the system. Drive, heating system--everything.
+
+"She had emergency circuits. When the engines came on again they took
+over--landed the ship, more or less, on the nearest planet. Too late,
+of course. Heating system never came on--there was a safety switch
+that had to be thrown by hand. She was embedded in ice when she was
+found. Hull breached at one point--no other serious damage."
+
+"And the ... the crew?"
+
+Dillie ought to know better than that.
+
+"Lost with all hands," says the colonel.
+
+"How about weapons?"
+
+We are all startled. Cray is looking whitish like the rest of us but
+maintains his normal manner, i.e. offensive affection while pointing
+out that _Gilgamesh_ can hardly be taken for a Menace unless she has
+some means of aggression about her.
+
+Lennie says The Explorer Class were all armed--
+
+Fine, says Cray, presumably the weapons will be thoroughly obsolete
+and recognizable only to a Historian--
+
+Lennie says the construction of no weapon developed by the Space
+Department has ever been released; making it plain that anyone but a
+Nitwit knows that already.
+
+Eru and Kirsty have been busy for some time writing notes to each
+other and she now gives a small sharp cough and having collected our
+attention utters the following Address.
+
+"There is a point we seem to have missed. If I may recapitulate, the
+idea is to take this ship _Gilgamesh_ to Incognita and make it appear
+as though she had crashed there while attempting to land. I understand
+that the ship has been buried in the polar cap; though she must have
+been melted out if the people on _Crusoe_ examined the engines. Of
+course the cold--All the same there may have been ... well ...
+changes. Or when ... when we thaw the ship out again--"
+
+I find I am swallowing good and hard, and several of the others look
+sick, especially Lennie. Lennie has his eyes fixed on the colonel; it
+is not prescience, but a slight sideways movement of the colonel's eye
+causes him to blurt out, "What is _he_ doing here?"
+
+Meaning Mr. Yardo who seems to have been asleep for some time, with
+his eyes open and grinning like the spikes on a dog collar. The
+colonel gives him another sideways look and says, "Mr. Yardo is an
+expert on the rehabilitation of space-packed materials."
+
+This is stuff transported in un-powered hulls towed by
+grappling-beams; the hulls are open to space hence no need for
+refrigeration, and the contents are transferred to specially equipped
+orbital stations before being taken down to the planet. But--
+
+Mr. Yardo comes to life at the sound of his name and his grin widens
+alarmingly.
+
+"Especially meat," he says.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+It is maybe two hours afterwards, Eru having adjourned the meeting
+abruptly so that we can ... er ... take in the implications of the new
+data. Lennie has gone off somewhere by himself; Kirsty has gone after
+him with a view to Mothering him; Eru, I suspect, is looking for
+Kirsty; Pavel and Aro and Dillie and the Crow are in a cabin arguing
+in whispers; Nick and P. Zapotec are exploring one of the Hoppers,
+cargo-carrying, drop-shaped, and I only hope they don't hop through
+the hull in it.
+
+B and I having done a tour of the ship and ascertained all this have
+withdrawn to the Conference Room because we are tired of our cabins
+and this seems to be the only other place to sit.
+
+B breaks a long silence with the remark that However often you see it
+M'Clare's technique is something to watch, like choosing my statement
+to open with, it broke the ice beautifully.
+
+I say, "Shall I tell you something?"
+
+B says Yes if it's interesting.
+
+"My statement," I inform her, "ran something like this: The best hope
+of inducing a suspension of the aggressive attitude of both parties,
+long enough to offer hope of ultimate reconciliation, lies in the
+intrusion of a new factor in the shape of an outside force seen to be
+impartially hostile to both."
+
+B says: "Gosh. Come to think of it Liz you have not written like that
+in years, you have gone all pompous like everyone else; well that
+makes it even _more_ clever of M'Clare."
+
+Enter Cray Patterson and drapes himself sideways on a chair,
+announcing that his own thoughts begin to weary him.
+
+I say this does not surprise me, at all.
+
+"Lizzie my love," says he, "you are twice blessed being not only witty
+yourself but a cause of wit in others; was that bit of Primitive Lee
+with which M'Clare regaled us really not from the hand of the
+mistress, or was it a mere pastiche?"
+
+I say Whoever wrote that it was not me anyway.
+
+"It seemed to me pale and luke-warm compared with the real thing,"
+says Cray languidly, "which brings me to a point that, to quote dear
+Kirsty, seems to have been missed."
+
+I say, "Yep. Like what language it was that these people wrote their
+log in that we can be _certain_ the Incognitans won't know."
+
+"More than that," says B, "we didn't decide who they are or where they
+were coming from or how they came to crash or anything."
+
+"Come to think of it, though," I point out, "the language and a good
+many other things must have been decided already because of getting
+the right hypnotapes and translators on board."
+
+B suddenly lights up.
+
+"Yes, but look, I bet that's what we're here for, I mean that's why
+they picked us instead of Space Department people--the ship's got to
+have a past history, it has to come from a planet somewhere only no
+one must ever find out _where_ it's supposed to be. Someone will have
+to fake a log, only I don't see how--"
+
+"The first reel with data showing the planet of origin got damaged
+during the crash," says Cray impatiently.
+
+"Yes, of course--but we have to find a reason why they were in that
+part of Space and it has to be a _nice_ one, I mean so that the
+Incognitans when they finally read the log won't hate them any more--"
+
+"Maybe they were bravely defending their own planet by hunting down an
+interplanetary raider," I suggest.
+
+Cray says it will take only the briefest contact with other planets to
+convince the Incognitans that interplanetary raiders can't and don't
+exist, modern planetary alarm and defense systems put them out of the
+question.
+
+"That's all he knows," says B, "some interplanetary pirates raided
+Lizzie's father's farm once. Didn't they, Liz?"
+
+"Yes in a manner of speaking, but they were bums who pinched a
+spaceship from a planet not many parsecs away, a sparsely inhabited
+mining world like my own which had no real call for an alarm system,
+so that hardly alters the argument."
+
+"Well," says B, "the alarm system on Incognita can't be so hot or the
+observation ships could not have got in, or out, for that matter,
+unless of course they have some other gadget we don't know about."
+
+"On the other hand," she considers, "to mention Interplanetary raiders
+raises the idea of Menace in an Unfriendly Universe again, and this is
+what we want to cancel out.
+
+"These people," she says at last with a visionary look in her eye,
+"come from a planet which went isolationist and abandoned space
+travel; now they have built up their civilization to a point where
+they can build ships of their own again, and the ones on Gilgamesh
+have cut loose from the ideas of their ancestors that led to their
+going so far afield--"
+
+"How far afield?" says Cray.
+
+"No one will ever know," I point out to him. "Don't interrupt."
+
+"Anyway," says B, "they set out to rejoin the rest of the Human Race
+just like the people on _Gilgamesh_ _really_ did, in fact, a lot of
+this is the truth only kind of backwards--they were looking for the
+Cradle of the Race, that's what. Then there was some sort of disaster
+that threw them off course to land on an uninhabited section of a
+planet that couldn't understand their signals. And when Incognita
+finally does take to space flight again I bet the first thing the
+people do is to try and follow back to where _Gilgamesh_ came from and
+make contact with them. It'll become a legend on Incognita--the Lost
+People ... the Lost ... Lost--"
+
+"The Lost Kafoozalum," says Cray. "In other words we switch these
+people off a war only to send them on a wild goose chase."
+
+At which a strange voice chimes in, "No, no, no, son, you've got it
+all _wrong_."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Mr. Yardo is with us like a well-meaning skeleton.
+
+During the next twenty-five minutes we learn a lot about Mr. Yardo
+including material for a good guess at how he came to be picked for
+this expedition; doubtless there are many experts on Reversal Of
+Vacuum-Induced Changes in Organic Tissues but maybe only one of them a
+Romantic at heart.
+
+Mr. Yardo thinks chasing the Wild Goose will do the Incognitans all
+the good in the galaxy, it will take their minds off controversies
+over interhemispherical trade and put them on to the quest of the
+Unobtainable; they will get to know something of the Universe outside
+their own little speck. Mr. Yardo has seen a good deal of the Universe
+in the course of advising on how to recondition space-packed meat and
+he found it an Uplifting Experience.
+
+We gather he finds this desperate bit of damfoolery we are on now
+pretty Uplifting altogether.
+
+Cray keeps surprisingly quiet but it is as well that the rest of the
+party start to trickle in about twenty minutes later the first
+arrivals remarking Oh _that's_ where you've got to!
+
+Presently we are all congregated at one end of the table as before,
+except that Mr. Yardo is now sitting between B and me; when M'Clare
+and the colonel come in he firmly stays where he is evidently
+considering himself One of Us now.
+
+"The proposition," says M'Clare, "is that we intend to take
+_Gilgamesh_ to Incognita and land her there in such a way as to
+suggest that she crashed. In the absence of evidence to the contrary
+the Incognitans are bound to assume that that was her intended
+destination, and the presence of weapons, even disarmed, will suggest
+that her mission was aggressive. Firstly, can anyone suggest a better
+course of action? or does anyone object to this one?"
+
+We all look at Lennie who sticks his hands in his pockets and mutters
+"No."
+
+Kirsty gives her little cough and says there is a point which has not
+been mentioned.
+
+If a heavily-armed ship crashes on Incognita, will not the government
+of the hemisphere in which it crashes be presented with new ideas for
+offensive weapons? And won't this make it _more_ likely that they will
+start aggression? And won't the fear of this make the other hemisphere
+even more likely to try and get in first before the new weapons are
+complete?
+
+Hell, I ought to have thought of that.
+
+From the glance of unwilling respect which the colonel bestows on
+M'Clare it is plain these points have been dealt with.
+
+"The weapons on Gilgamesh were disarmed when she was rediscovered," he
+says. "Essential sections were removed. The Incognitans won't be able
+to reconstruct how they worked."
+
+_Another_ fact for which we shall have to provide an explanation. Well
+how about this: The early explorers sent out by these people--the
+people in Gilgamesh ... oh, use Cray's word and call them Lost
+Kafoozalum anyway their ships were armed, but they never found any
+enemies and the Idealists of B's story refused even to carry arms any
+more.
+
+(Which is just about what happened when the Terries set out to
+rediscover the colonies, after all.)
+
+So the Lost Kafoozalum could not get rid of their weapons completely
+because it would have meant rebuilding the ship; so they just
+partially dismantled them.
+
+Mr. Yardo suddenly chips in, "About that other point, girlie, surely
+there must be some neutral ground left on a half-occupied planet like
+that?" He beams round, pleased at being able to contribute.
+
+B says, "The thing is," and stops.
+
+We wait.
+
+We have about given up hope when she resumes, "The thing is, it will
+have to be neutral ground of course, only that might easily become a
+thingummy ... I mean a, a _casus belli_ in itself. So the _other_
+thing is it ought to be a place which is very hard to get at, so
+difficult that neither side can really get to it first, they'll have
+to reach an agreement and co-operate."
+
+"Yeah," says Dillie "that sounds fine, but what sort of place is
+that?"
+
+I am sorting out in my head the relative merits of mountains,
+deserts, gorges, et cetera, when I an seized with inspiration at the
+same time as half the group; we say the same thing in different words
+and for a time there is Babel, then the idea emerges:
+
+"Drop her into the sea!"
+
+The colonel nods resignedly.
+
+"Yes," he says, "that's what we're going to do."
+
+He presses a button and our projection-screens light up, first with a
+map of one pole of Incognita, expanding in scale till finally we are
+looking down on one little bit of coast on one of the polar islands. A
+glacier descends on to it from mountains inland and there is a bay
+between cliffs. Then we get a stereo scene of approximately the least
+hospitable of scenery I ever did see--except maybe when Parvati Lal
+Dutt's brother made me climb up what he swore was the smallest peak in
+the Himalayas.
+
+It is a small bay backed by tumbled cliffs. A shelving beach can be
+deduced from contour and occasional boulders big enough to stick
+through the snow that smothers it all. A sort of mess of rocks and mud
+at the back may be glacial moraine. Over the sea the ice is split in
+all directions by jagged rifts and channels; the whole thing is a bit
+like Antarctica but nothing is high enough or white enough to uplift
+the spirit, it looks not only chilly but kind of mean.
+
+"This place," says the colonel, "is the only one, about which we have
+any topographical information, that seems to meet the requirements.
+Got to know about it through an elementary planetography. One of the
+observers had the sense to see we might need something of the sort.
+This place"--the stereo jigs as he taps his projector--"seems it's the
+center of a rising movement in the crust ... that's not to the point.
+Neither side has bothered to claim the land at the poles...."
+
+I see their point if it's all like this--
+
+"... And a ship trying to land on those cliffs might very well pitch
+over into the sea. That is, if she were trying to land on emergency
+rockets."
+
+Rockets--that brings home the ancientness of this ship
+_Gilgamesh_--but after all the ships that settled Incognita probably
+carried emergency rockets, too.
+
+This settled, the meeting turns into a briefing session and merges
+imperceptibly with the beginning of the job.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+The job of course is Faking the background of the crash; working out
+the past history and present aims of the Lost Kafoozalum. We have to
+invent a planet and what's more difficult convey all the essential
+information about it by the sort of sideways hints you gather among
+peoples' personal possessions; diaries, letters et cetera; and what is
+even _more_ difficult we have to leave out anything that could lead to
+definite identification of our unknown world with any known one.
+
+We never gave that world a name; it might be dangerous. Who speaks of
+their world by name, except to strangers? They call it "home"--or
+"Earth," as often as not.
+
+Some things have been decided for us. Language, for instance--one of
+two thousand or so Earth tongues that went out of use late enough to
+be plausible as the main language of a colonized planet. The settlers
+on Incognita were not of the sort to take along dictionaries of the
+lesser-known tongues, so the computers at Russett had a fairly wide
+choice.
+
+We had to take a hypnocourse in that language. Ditto the script, one
+of several forgotten phonetic shorthands. (Designed to enable the
+tongues of Aliens to be written down; but the Aliens have never been
+met. It is plausible enough that some colony might have kept the
+script alive; after all Thasia uses something of the sort to this
+day.)
+
+The final result of our work looks pretty small. Twenty-three
+"Personal Background Sets"--a few letters, a diary in some, an
+assortment of artifacts. Whoever stocked this ship we are on supplied
+wood, of the half-dozen kinds that have been taken wherever men have
+gone; stocks of a few plastics--known at the time of the Exodus, or
+easily developed from those known, and not associated with any
+particular planet. Also books on Design, a Form-writer for translating
+drawings into materials, and so on. Someone put in a lot of work
+before this voyage began.
+
+Most of the time it is like being back on Russet doing a group
+Project. What we are working on has no more and no less reality than
+that. Our work is all read into a computer and checked against
+everybody else's. At first we keep clashing. Gradually a consistent
+picture builds up and gets translated finally into the Personal
+Background Kits. The Lost Kafoozalum start to exist like people in a
+History book.
+
+Fifteen days hard work and we have just about finished; then we
+reach--call it Planet Gilgamesh.
+
+I wake in my bunk to hear that there will be brief cessation of
+weight; strap down, please.
+
+We are coming off Mass-Time to go on planetary drive.
+
+Colonel Delano-Smith is in charge of operations on the planet, with
+Ram and Peter to assist. None of the rest of us see the melting out of
+fifty years' accumulation of ice, the pumping away of the water, the
+fitting and testing of the holds for the grappling-beams. We stay
+inside the ship, on five-eighths gee which we do not have time to get
+used to, and try to work, and discard the results before the computer
+can do so. There is hardly any work left to do, anyway.
+
+It takes nearly twelve hours to get the ship free, and caulked, and
+ready to lift. (Her hull has to be patched because of Mr. Yardo's
+operations which make use of several sorts of vapors). Then there is a
+queer blind period with Up now one way, now another, and sudden jerks
+and tugs that upset everything not in gimbals or tied down;
+interspersed with periods when weightlessness supervenes with no
+warning at all. After an hour or two of this it would be hard to say
+whether Mental or physical discomfort is more acute; B consulted,
+however, says my autonomic system must be quite something, after five
+minutes _her_ thoughts were with her viscera entirely.
+
+Then, suddenly, we are back on Mass-Time again.
+
+Two days to go.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+At first being on Mass-Time makes everything seem normal again. By
+sleep time there is a strain, and next day it is everywhere. I know as
+well as any that on Mass-Time the greater the mass the faster the
+shift; all the same I cannot help feeling we are being slowed, dragged
+back by the dead ship coupled to our live one.
+
+When you stand by the hull _Gilgamesh_ is only ten feet away.
+
+I should have kept something to work on like B and Kirsty who have not
+done their Letters for Home in Case of Accidents; mine is signed and
+sealed long ago. I am making a good start on a Neurosis when
+Delano-Smith announces a Meeting for one hour ahead.
+
+Hurrah! now there is a time-mark fixed I think of all sorts of things
+I should have done before; for instance taking a look at the controls
+of the Hoppers.
+
+I have been in one of them half an hour and figured out most of the
+dials--Up down and sideways are controlled much as in a helicar, but
+here a big viewscreen has been hooked in to the autopilot--when
+across the hold I see the air lock start to move.
+
+_Gilgamesh_ is on the other side.
+
+It takes forever to open. When at last it swings wide on the dark
+tunnel what comes through is a storage rack, empty, floating on
+antigrav.
+
+What follows is a figure in a spacesuit; modern type, but the windows
+of the hopper are semipolarized and I cannot make out the face inside
+the bubble top.
+
+He slings the rack upon the bulkhead, takes off the helmet and hangs
+that up, too. Then he just stands. I am beginning to muster enough
+sense to wonder why when he comes slowly across the hold.
+
+Reaching the doorway he says: "Oh it's you, Lizzie. You'll have to
+help me out of this. I'm stuck."
+
+M'Clare.
+
+The outside of the suit is still freezing cold; maybe this is what has
+jammed the fastening. After a few minutes tugging it suddenly gives
+away. M'Clare climbs out of the suit, leaving it standing, and says,
+"Help me count these, will you?"
+
+_These_ are a series of transparent containers from a pouch slung at
+one side of the suit. I recognize them as the envelopes in which we
+put what are referred to as Personal Background Sets.
+
+I say, "There ought to be twenty-three."
+
+"No," says M'Clare dreamily, "twenty-two, we're saving one of them."
+
+"What on earth is the use of an extra set of faked documents and
+oddments--"
+
+He seems to wake up suddenly and says: "What are you doing here,
+Lizzie?"
+
+I explain and he wanders over to the hopper and starts to explain the
+controls.
+
+There is something odd about all this. M'Clare is obviously dead
+tired, but kind of relaxed; seeing that the hour of Danger is only
+thirty-six hours off I don't understand it. Probably several of his
+students are going to have to risk their lives--
+
+I am on the point of seeing something important when the speaker
+announces in the colonel's voice that Professor M'Clare and Miss Lee
+will report to the Conference Room at once please.
+
+M'Clare looks at me and grins. "Come along, Lizzie. Here's where we
+take orders for once, you and I."
+
+It is the colonel's Hour. I suppose that having to work with
+Undergraduates is something he could never quite forget, but from the way
+he looks at us we might almost be Space Force personnel,--low-grade of
+course but respectable.
+
+Everything is at last worked out and he has it on paper in front of
+him; he puts the paper four square on the table, gazes into the middle
+distance and proceeds to recite.
+
+"One. This ship will go off Mass-Time on 2nd August at 11.27 hours
+ship's time....
+
+"Thirty-six hours from now.
+
+"... At a point one thousand miles vertically above Co-ordinates
+165OE, 7320S, on Planet Incognita, approximately one hour before
+midnight local time.
+
+"Going on planetary drive as close as that will indicate that
+something is badly wrong to begin with.
+
+"Two. This ship will descend, coupled to _Gilgamesh_ as at present, to
+a point seventy miles above the planetary surface. It will then
+uncouple, discharge one hopper, and go back on Mass-Time. Estimated
+time for this stage of descent forty minutes.
+
+"Three. The hopper will then descend on its own engines at the maximum
+speed allowed by the heat-disposal system; estimated at thirty-seven
+minutes. _Gilgamesh_ will complete descent in thirty-three minutes.
+Engines of _Gilgamesh_ will not be used except for the heat-disposal
+and gyro auxiliaries. The following installations have been made to
+allow for the control of the descent; a ring of eight rockets in
+peltathene mounts around the tail and, and one outsize antigrav unit
+inside the nose. "Sympathizer" controls hooked up with a visiscreen
+and a computer have also been installed in the nose.
+
+"Four. _Gilgamesh_ will carry one man only. The hopper will carry a
+crew of three. The pilot of _Gilgamesh_ will establish the ship on the
+edge of the cliff, supported on antigrav a foot or so above the ground
+and leaning towards the sea at an angle of approximately 20 deg. with the
+vertical. Except for this landing will be automatic.
+
+"Five."
+
+The colonel's voice has lulled us into passive acceptance; now we are
+jerked into sharper attention by the faintest possible check in it.
+
+"The greatest danger attaching to the expedition is that the
+Incognitans may discover that the crash has been faked. This would be
+inevitable if they were to capture (a) the hopper; (b) any of the new
+installations in Gilgamesh, especially the antigrav; (c) any member of
+the crew.
+
+"The function of the hopper is to pick up the pilot of _Gilgamesh_ and
+also to check that ground appearances are consistent. If not, they
+will produce a landslip on the cliff edge, using power tools and
+explosives carried for the purpose. That is why the hopper has a crew
+of three, but the chance of their having to do this is slight."
+
+So I should think; ground appearances are supposed to show that
+_Gilgamesh_ landed using emergency rockets and then toppled over the
+cliff and this will be exactly what happened.
+
+"The pilot will carry a one-frequency low-power transmitter activated
+by the change in magnetic field on leaving the ship. The hopper will
+remain at five hundred feet until this signal is received. It will
+then pick up the pilot, check ground appearances, and rendezvous with
+this ship at two hundred miles up at 18.27 hours."
+
+The ship and the hopper both being radar-absorbent will not register
+on alarm systems, and by keeping to planetary nighttime they should
+be safe from being seen.
+
+"Danger (b) will be dealt with as follows. The rocket-mounts being of
+peltathene will be destroyed by half an hour's immersion in water. The
+installations in the nose will be destroyed with Andite."
+
+Andite produces complete colecular disruption in a very short range,
+hardly any damage outside it; the effect will be as though the nose
+broke off on impact; I suppose the Incognitans will waste a lot of
+time looking for it on the bed of the sea.
+
+"Four ten-centimeter cartridges will be inserted within the nose
+installations. The fuse will have two alternative settings. The first
+will be timed to act at 12.50 hours, seven minutes after the estimated
+time of landing. It will not be possible to deactivate it before 12.45
+hours. This takes care of the possibility of the pilot's becoming
+incapacitated during the descent.
+
+"Having switched off the first fuse the pilot will get the ship into
+position and then activate a second, timed to blow in ten minutes. He
+will then leave the ship. When the antigrav is destroyed the ship
+will, of course, fall into the sea.
+
+"Six. The pilot of _Gilgamesh_ will wear a spacesuit of the pattern
+used by the original crew and will carry Personal Background Set
+number 23. Should he fail to escape from the ship the crew of the
+hopper will on no account attempt to rescue him."
+
+The colonel takes up the paper, folds it in half and puts it down one
+inch further away.
+
+"The hopper's crew," he says, "will give the whole game away should
+one of them fall into Incognitan hands, alive or dead. Therefore they
+don't take any risks of it."
+
+He lifts his gaze ceilingwards. "I'm asking for three volunteers."
+
+Silence. Manning the hopper is definitely second best. Then light
+suddenly bursts on me and I lift my hand and hack B on the ankle.
+
+"I volunteer," I say.
+
+B gives me a most dubious glance and then lifts her hand, too.
+
+Cray on the other side of the table is slowly opening his mouth when
+there is an outburst of waving on the far side of B.
+
+"Me too, colonel! I volunteer!"
+
+Mr. Yardo proceeds to explain that his special job is over and done,
+he can be more easily spared than anybody, he may be too old to take
+charge of _Gilgamesh_ but will back himself as a hopper pilot against
+anybody.
+
+The colonel cuts this short by accepting all three. He then unfolds
+his paper again.
+
+"Piloting _Gilgamesh_," he says. "I'm not asking for volunteers now.
+You'll go to your cabins in four hours' time and those who want to
+will volunteer, secretly. To a computer hookup, Computer will select
+on a random basis and notify the one chosen. Give him his final
+instructions, too. No one need know who it was till it's all over. He
+can tell anyone he likes, of course."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+A very slight note of triumph creeps into the next remark. "One point.
+Only men need volunteer."
+
+Instant outcry from Kirsty and Dilly: B turns to me with a look of
+awe.
+
+"Nothing to do with prejudice," says the colonel testily. "Just facts.
+The crew of _Gilgamesh_ were all men. Can't risk one solitary woman
+being found on board. Besides--spacesuits, personal background
+sets--all designed for men."
+
+Kirsty and Dilly turn on me looks designed to shrivel and B whispers
+"Lizzie how wonderful you are."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+The session dissolves. We three get an intensive session course of
+instruction on our duties and are ordered off to sleep. After
+breakfast next morning I run into Cray who says, Before I continue
+about what is evidently pressing business would I care to kick him,
+hard?
+
+Not right now I reply, what for anyway?
+
+"Miss Lee," says Cray, dragging it out longer than ever, "although I
+have long realized that your brain functions in a way much superior to
+logic I had not sense enough yesterday to follow my own instinct and
+do what you do as soon as you did it; therefore that dessicated meat
+handler got in first."
+
+I say: "So you weren't picked for pilot? It was only one chance in
+ten."
+
+"Oh," says Cray, "did you really think so?" He gives me a long look
+and goes away.
+
+I suppose he noticed that when the colonel came out with his remarks
+about No women in Gilgamesh I was as surprised as any.
+
+Presently the three of us are issued with protective clothing; we just
+might have to venture out on the planet's surface and therefore we get
+white one-piece suits to protect against Cold, heat, moisture,
+dessication, radioactivity, and mosquitoes, and they are quite
+becoming, really.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+B and I drag out dressing for thirty minutes; then we just sit while
+Time crawls asymptotically towards the hour.
+
+Then the speaker calls us to go.
+
+We are out of the cabin before it says two words and racing for the
+hold; so that we are just in time to see a figure out of an Historical
+movie--padded, jointed, tin bowl for head and blank reflecting glass
+where the face should be--stepping through the air lock.
+
+The colonel and Mr. Yardo are there already. The colonel packs us into
+the hopper and personally closes the door, and for once I know what
+he is thinking; he is wishing he were not the only pilot in this ship
+who could possibly rely on bringing the ship off and on Mass-Time at
+one particular defined spot of Space.
+
+Then he leaves us; half an hour to go.
+
+The light in the hold begins to alter. Instead of being softly
+diffused it separates into sharp-edged beams, reflecting and
+crisscrossing but leaving cones of shadow between. The air is being
+pumped into store.
+
+Fifteen minutes.
+
+The hull vibrates and a hatch slides open in the floor so that the
+black of Space looks through; it closes again.
+
+Mr. Yardo lifts the hopper gently off its mounts and lets it back
+again.
+
+Testing; five minutes to go.
+
+I am hypnotized by my chronometer; the hands are crawling through
+glue; I am still staring at it when, at the exact second, we go off
+Mass-Time.
+
+No weight. I hook my heels under the seat and persuade my esophagus
+back into place. A new period of waiting has begun. Every so often
+comes the impression we are falling head-first; the colonel using
+ship's drive to decelerate the whole system. Then more free fall.
+
+The hopper drifts very slowly out into the hold and hovers over the
+hatch, and the lights go. There is only the glow from the visiscreen
+and the instrument board.
+
+One minute thirty seconds to go.
+
+The hatch slides open again. I take a deep breath.
+
+I am still holding it when the colonel's voice comes over the speaker:
+"Calling _Gilgamesh_. Calling the hopper. Good-by and Good luck.
+You're on your own."
+
+The ship is gone.
+
+Yet another stretch of time has been marked off for us. Thirty-seven
+minutes, the least time allowable if we are not to get overheated by
+friction with the air. Mr. Yardo is a good pilot; he is concentrating
+wholly on the visiscreen and the thermometer. B and I are free to look
+around.
+
+I see nothing and say so.
+
+I did not know or have forgotten that Incognita has many small
+satellites; from here there are four in sight.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I am still looking at them when B seizes my arm painfully and points
+below us.
+
+I see nothing and say so.
+
+B whispers it was there a moment ago, it is pretty cloudy down
+there--Yes Lizzie there it is _look_.
+
+And I see it. Over to the left, very faint and far below, a pin-prick
+of light.
+
+Light in the polar wastes of a sparsely inhabited planet, and since we
+are still five miles up it is a very powerful light too.
+
+No doubt about it, as we descend farther; about fifty miles from our
+objective there are men, quite a lot of them.
+
+I think it is just then that I understand, _really_ understand, the
+hazard of what we are doing. This is not an exercise. This is in dead
+earnest, and if we have missed an essential factor or calculated
+something wrong the result will be not a bad mark or a failed exam, or
+even our personal deaths, but incalculable harm and misery to millions
+of people we never even heard of.
+
+Dead earnest. How in Space did we ever have cheek enough for this?
+
+The lights might be the essential factor we have missed, but there is
+nothing we can do about them now.
+
+Mr. Yardo suddenly chuckles and points to the screen.
+
+"There you are, girlies! He's down!"
+
+There, grayly dim, is the map the colonel showed us; and right on the
+faint line of the cliff-edge is a small brilliant dot.
+
+The map is expanding rapidly, great lengths of coastline shooting out
+of sight at the edge of the screen. Mr. Yardo has the cross-hairs
+centered on the dot which is _Gilgamesh_. The dot is changing shape;
+it is turning into a short ellipse, a longer one. The gyros are
+leaning her out over the sea.
+
+I look at my chronometer; 12.50 hours exactly. B looks, too, and grips
+my hand.
+
+Thirty seconds later the Andite has not blown; first fuse safety
+turned off. Surely she is leaning far enough out by now?
+
+We are hovering at five hundred feet. I can actually see the white
+edge of the sea beating at the cliff. Mr. Yardo keeps making small
+corrections; there is a wind out there trying to blow us away. It is
+cloudy here: I can see neither moons nor stars.
+
+Mr. Yardo checks the radio. Nothing yet.
+
+I stare downwards and fancy I can see a metallic gleam.
+
+Then there is a wordless shout from Mr. Yardo; a bright dot hurtles
+across the screen and at the same time I see a streak of blue flame
+tearing diagonally downwards a hundred feet away.
+
+The hopper shudders to a flat concussion in the air, we are all thrown
+off balance, and when I claw my way back to the screen the moving dot
+is gone.
+
+So is _Gilgamesh_.
+
+B says numbly, "But it wasn't a meteor. It can't have been."
+
+"It doesn't matter what it was," I say. "It was some sort of missile,
+I think. They must be even nearer to war than we thought."
+
+We wait. What for, I don't know. Another missile, perhaps. No more
+come.
+
+At last Mr. Yardo stirs. His voice sounds creaky.
+
+"I guess," he says, then clears his throat, and tries again. "I guess
+we have to go back up."
+
+B says, "Lizzie, who was it? Do you know?"
+
+Of course I do. "Do you think M'Clare was going to risk one of us on
+that job? The volunteering was a fake. He went himself."
+
+B whispers, "You're just guessing."
+
+"Maybe," says Mr. Yardo, "but I happened to see through that face
+plate of his. It was the professor all right."
+
+He has his hand on the controls when my brain starts working again. I
+utter a strangled noise and dive for the hatch into the cargo hold. B
+tries to grab me but I get it open and switch on the light.
+
+Fifty-fifty chance--I've lost.
+
+_No_, this is the one we came in and the people who put in the new
+cargo did not clear out my fish-boat, they just clamped it neatly to
+the wall.
+
+I dive in and start to pass up the package. B shakes her head.
+
+"No, Lizzie. We can't. Don't you remember? If we got caught, it would
+give everything away. Besides ... there isn't any chance--"
+
+"Take a look at the screen," I tell her.
+
+Sharp exclamation from Mr. Yardo. B turns to look, then takes the
+package and helps me back.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Mr. Yardo maneuvers out over the sea till the thing is in the middle
+of the screen; then drops to a hundred feet. It is sticking out of the
+water at a fantastic angle and the waves are hardly moving it. The
+nose of a ship.
+
+"The antigrav," whispers B. "The Andite hasn't blown yet."
+
+"Ten minutes," says Mr. Yardo thoughtfully. He turns to me with sudden
+briskness. "What's that, Lizzie girl? A fish-boat? Good. We may need
+it. Let's have a look."
+
+"It's mine," I tell him.
+
+"Now look--"
+
+"Tailor made," I say. "You might get into it, though I doubt it. You
+couldn't work the controls."
+
+It takes him fifteen seconds to realize there is no way round it; he
+is six foot three and I am five foot one. Even B would find it hard.
+
+His face goes grayish and he stares at me helplessly. Finally he nods.
+
+"All right, Lizzie. I guess we have to try it. Things certainly can't
+be much worse than they are. We'll go over to the beach there."
+
+On the beach there is wind and spray and breakers but nothing
+unmanageable; the cliffs on either side keep off the worst of the
+force. It is queer to feel moving air after eighteen days in a ship.
+It takes six minutes to unpack and expand the boat and by that time it
+is ten minutes since the missile hit and the Andite has not blown.
+
+I crawl into the boat. In my protective clothing it is a fairly tight
+fit. We agree that I will return to this same point and they will
+start looking for me in fifty minutes' time and will give up if I have
+not returned in two hours. I take two Andite cartridges to deal with
+all eventualities and snap the nose of the boat into place. At first I
+am very conscious of the two little white cigars in the pouch of my
+suit, but presently I have other things to think about.
+
+I use the "limbs" to crawl the last few yards of shingle into the
+water and on across the sea bottom till I am beyond the line of
+breakers; then I turn on the motor. I have already set the controls to
+"home" on _Gilgamesh_ and the radar will steer me off any
+obstructions. This journey in the dark is as safe as my trip around
+the reefs before all this started--though it doesn't feel that way.
+
+It takes twelve minutes to reach _Gilgamesh_, or rather the fragment
+that antigrav is supporting; it is about half a mile from the beach.
+
+The radar stops me six feet from her and I switch it off and turn to
+Manual and inch closer in.
+
+Lights, a very small close beam. The missile struck her about one
+third of her length behind the nose. I know, because I can see the
+whole of that length. It is hanging just above the water, sloping at
+about 30 deg. to the horizontal. The ragged edge where it was torn from
+the rest is just dipping into the sea.
+
+If anyone sees this, I don't know what they will make of it but no one
+could possibly think an ordinary spaceship suffered an ordinary crash,
+and very little investigation would show up the truth.
+
+I reach up with the forward set of "limbs" and grapple on to the
+break. I now have somehow to get the hind set of "limbs" up without
+losing my grip. I can't.
+
+It takes several minutes to realize that I can just open the nose and
+crawl out.
+
+Immediately a wave hits me in the face and does its best to drag me
+into the sea. However the interior of the ship is relatively sheltered
+and presently I am inside and dragging the boat up out of reach.
+
+I need light. Presently I manage to detach one of the two from the
+boat. I turn it down to minimum close beam and hang it round my neck;
+then I start up the black jag-edged tunnel of the ship.
+
+I have to get to the nose, find the fuse, change the setting to twenty
+minutes--maximum possible--and get out before it blows--out of the
+water I mean. The fish-boat is not constructed to take explosions even
+half a mile away. But the first thing is to find the fuse and I cannot
+make out how _Gilgamesh_ is lying and therefore cannot find the door
+through this bulkhead; everything is ripped and twisted. In the end I
+find a gap between the bulkhead itself and the hull, and squeeze
+through that.
+
+In the next compartment things are more recognizable and I eventually
+find the door. Fortunately ships are designed so that you can get
+through doors even when they are in the ceiling; actually here I have
+to climb up an overhang, but the surface is provided with rungs which
+make it not too bad. Finally I reach the door. I shall have to use
+antigrav to get down ... why didn't I just turn it on and jump? I
+forgot I had it.
+
+The door was a little way open when the missile struck; it buckled in
+its grooves and is jammed fast. I can get an arm through. No more. I
+switch on antigrav and hang there directing the light round the
+compartment. No rents anywhere, just buckling. This compartment is
+divided by a partition and the door through that is open. There will
+be another door into the nose on the other side.
+
+I bring back my feet ready to kick off on a dive through that doorway.
+
+Behind me, something stirs.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+My muscles go into a spasm like the one that causes a falling dream,
+my hold tears loose and I go tumbling through the air, rebound from a
+wall, twist, and manage to hook one foot in the frame of the door I
+was aiming for. I pull myself down and turn off the antigrav; then I
+just shake for a bit.
+
+The sound was--
+
+This is stupid, with everything torn to pieces in this ship there is
+no wonder if bits shake loose and drop around--
+
+But it was not a metallic noise, it was a kind of soft dragging, very
+soft, that ended in a little thump.
+
+Like a--
+
+Like a loose piece of plastic dislodged from its angle of rest and
+slithering down, pull yourself together Lizzie Lee.
+
+I look through the door into the other half of this level. Shambles.
+Smashed machinery every which way, blocking the door, blocking
+everything. No way through at all.
+
+Suddenly I remember the tools. Mr. Yardo loaded the fish-boat with all
+it would take. I crawl back and return with a fifteen inch expanding
+beam-lever, and overuse it; the jammed trap door does not slide back
+in its grooves but flips right out of them, bent double; it flies off
+into the dark and clangs its way to rest.
+
+I am halfway through the opening when I hear the sound again. A soft
+slithering; a faint defeated thump.
+
+I freeze where I am, and then I hear the sigh; a long, long weary
+sound, almost musical.
+
+An air leak somewhere in the hull and wind or waves altering the air
+pressure below.
+
+All the same I do not seem able to come any farther through this door.
+
+Light might help; I turn the beam up and play it cautiously around.
+This is the last compartment, right in the nose; a sawn-off
+cone-shape. No breaks here, though the hull is buckled to my left and
+the "floor"--the partition, horizontal when the ship is in the normal
+operating position, which holds my trap door--is torn up; some large
+heavy object was welded to a thin surface skin which has ripped away
+leaving jagged edges and a pattern of girders below.
+
+There is no dust here; it has all been sucked out when the ship was
+open to space; nothing to show the beam except the sliding yellow
+ellipse where it touches the wall. It glides and turns, spiraling
+down, deformed every so often where it crosses a projection or a dent,
+till it halts suddenly on a spoked disk, four feet across and standing
+nearly eighteen inches out from the wall. The antigrav.
+
+I never saw one this size, it is like the little personal affairs as a
+giant is like a pigmy, not only bigger but a bit different in
+proportion. I can see an Andite cartridge fastened among the spokes.
+
+The fuse is a "sympathizer" but it is probably somewhere close. The
+ellipse moves again. There is no feeling that I control it; it is
+hunting on its own. To and fro around the giant wheel. Lower. It halts
+on a small flat box, also bolted to the wall, a little way below. This
+is it, I can see the dial.
+
+The ellipse stands still, surrounding the fuse. There is something at
+the very edge of it.
+
+When _Gilgamesh_ was right way up the antigrav was bolted to one wall,
+about three feet above the floor. Now the lowest point is the place
+where this wall joins what used to be the floor. Something has fallen
+down to that point and is huddled there in the dark.
+
+The beam jerks suddenly up and the breath whoops out of me; a round
+thing sticking out of the wall--then I realize it is an archaic
+space-helmet, clamped to the wall for safety when the wearer took it
+off.
+
+I take charge of the ellipse of light and move it slowly down, past
+the fuse, to the thing below. A little dark scalloping of the edge of
+the light. The tips of fingers. A hand.
+
+I turn up the light.
+
+When the missile struck the big computer was wrenched loose from the
+floor. It careened down as the floor tilted, taking with it anything
+that stood in its way.
+
+M'Clare was just stooping to the fuse, I think. The computer smashed
+against his legs and pinned him down in the angle between the wall and
+the floor. His legs are hidden by it.
+
+Because of the spacesuit he does not looked crushed; the thick clumsy
+joints have kept their roundness, so far as they are visible; only his
+hands and head are bare and vulnerable looking.
+
+I am halfway down, floating on minimum gravity, before it really
+occurs to me that he may be still alive.
+
+I switch to half and drop beside him. His face is colorless but he is
+breathing all right.
+
+First-aid kit. I will never make fun of Space Force thoroughness
+again. Rows and rows of small plastic ampoules. Needles.
+
+Pain-killer, first. I read the directions twice, sweating. Emergencies
+only--this is. One dose _only_ to be given and if patient is not in
+good health use--never mind that. I fit on the longest needle and jab
+it through the suit, at the back of the thigh, as far towards the
+knee-joint as I can get because the suit is thinner. Half one side,
+half the other.
+
+Now to get the computer off. At a guess it weighs about five hundred
+pounds. The beam-lever would do it but it would probably fall back.
+
+Antigrav; the personal size is supposed to take up to three times the
+weight of the average man. I take mine off and buckle the straps
+through a convenient gap. I have my hands under the thing when M'Clare
+sighs again.
+
+He is lying on his belly but his head is turned to one side, towards
+me. Slowly his eyelids open. He catches the sight of my hand; his head
+moves a little, and he says, "Lizzie. Golden Liz."
+
+I say not to worry, we will soon be out of here.
+
+His body jumps convulsively and he cries out. His hand reaches my
+sleeve and feels. He says, "Liz! Oh, God, I thought ... what--"
+
+I say things are under control and just keep quiet a bit.
+
+His eyes close. After a moment he whispers, "Something hit the ship."
+
+"A homing missile, I think."
+
+I ought not to have said that; but it seems to make no particular
+impression, maybe he guessed as much.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I was wrong in wanting to shift the computer straight away, the
+release of pressure might start a hemorrhage; I dig out ampoules of
+blood-seal and inject them into the space between the suit and the
+flesh, as close to the damage as I can.
+
+M'Clare asks how the ship is lying and I explain, also how I got here.
+I dig out the six-by-two-inch packet of expanding stretcher and read
+the directions. He is quiet for a minute or two, gathering strength;
+then he says sharply: "Lizzie. Stop that and listen.
+
+"The fuse for the Andite is just under the antigrav. Go and find it.
+Go now. There's a dial with twenty divisions. Marked in black--you see
+it. Turn the pointer to the last division. Is that done?
+
+"Now you see the switch under the pointer? Is your boat ready? I beg
+your pardon, of course you left it that way. Then turn the switch and
+get out."
+
+I come back and see by my chrono that the blood-seal should be set; I
+get my hands under the computer. M'Clare bangs his hand on the floor.
+
+"Lizzie, you little idiot, don't you realize that even if you get me
+out of this ship, which is next to impossible, you'll be delayed all
+the way--and if the Incognitans find either of us the whole plan's
+ruined? Much worse than ruined, once they see it's a hoax--"
+
+I tell him I have two Andite sticks and they won't find us and on a
+night like this any story of explosions will be put down to sudden
+gusts or to lightning.
+
+He is silent for a moment while I start lifting the computer,
+carefully; its effective weight with the antigrav full on is only
+about twenty pounds but is has all its inertia. Then he says quietly,
+"Please, Lizzie--can't you understand that the worst nightmare in the
+whole affair has been the fear that one of you might get injured? Or
+even killed? When I realized that only one person was needed to pilot
+_Gilgamesh_--it was the greatest relief I ever experienced. Now you
+say...." His voice picks up suddenly. "Lizzie, you're beaten anyway.
+The ... I'm losing all feeling. Even pain. I can't feel anything
+behind my shoulders ... it's creeping up--"
+
+I say that means the pain-killer I shot him with is acting as
+advertised, and he makes a sound as much like an explosive chuckle as
+anything and it's quiet again.
+
+The curvature between floor and wall is not helpful, I am trying to
+find a place to wedge the computer so it cannot fall back when I take
+off the antigrav. Presently I get it pushed on to a sort of ledge
+formed by a dent in the floor, which I think will hold it. I ease off
+the antigrav and the computer stays put, I don't like the looks of it
+so let's get out of here.
+
+I push the packaged stretcher under his middle and pull the tape
+before I turn the light on to his legs to see the damage. I cannot
+make out very much; the joints of the suit are smashed some, but as
+far as I can see the inner lining is not broken which means it is
+still air-and-water-tight.
+
+I put a hand under his chest to feel how the stretcher is going; it is
+now expanded to eighteen inches by six and I can feel it pushing out,
+but it is _slow_, what else have I to do--oh yes, get the helmet.
+
+I am standing up to reach for it when M'Clare says, "What are you
+doing? Yes ... well, don't put it on for a minute. There's something I
+would like to tell you, and with all respect for your obstinacy I
+doubt very much whether I shall have another chance. Keep that light
+off me, will you? It hurts my eyes.
+
+"You know, Lizzie, I dislike risking the lives of any of the students
+for whom I am responsible, but as it happens I find the idea of
+you--blowing yourself to atoms particularly objectionable because ... I
+happen to be in love with you. You're also one of my best students, I
+used to think that ... was why I'd been so insistent on your coming to
+Russett, but I rather think ... my motives were mixed even then. I meant
+to tell you this after you graduated, and to ask you to marry me, not
+that ... I thought you would, I know quite well ... you never quite
+forgave me, but I don't-want-to-have to remember ... I didn't ... have
+the guts to--"
+
+His voice trails off, I get a belated rush of sense to the head and
+turn the light on his face. His head is turned sideways and his fist
+is clenched against the side of his neck. When I touch it his hand
+falls open and five discharged ampoules fall out.
+
+Pain-killer.
+
+Maximum dose, one ampoule.
+
+All that talk was just to hold my attention while he fixed the needles
+and--
+
+I left the kit spread out right next to him.
+
+While I am taking this in some small cold corner of my mind is
+remembering the instructions that are on the pain-killer ampoule; it
+does not say, outright, that it is the last refuge for men in the
+extremity of pain and despair; therefore it cannot say, outright, that
+they sometimes despair too soon; but it does tell you the name of the
+antidote.
+
+There are only three ampoules of this and they also say, maximum dose
+one ampoule. I try to work it out but lacking all other information
+the best I can do is inject two and keep one till later. I put that
+one in my pocket.
+
+The stretcher is all expanded now; a very thin but quite rigid grid,
+six feet by two; I lash him on it without changing his position and
+fasten the helmet over his head.
+
+Antigrav; the straps just go round him and the stretcher.
+
+I point the thing up towards the trap door and give it a gentle push;
+then I scramble up the rungs and get there just in time to guide it
+through. It takes a knock then and some more while I am getting it
+down to the next partition, but he can't feel it.
+
+This time I find the door, because the roar of noise behind it acts as
+a guide. The sea is getting up and is dashing halfway to the door as I
+crawl through. My boat is awash, pivoting to and fro on the grips of
+the front "limbs."
+
+I grab it, release the limbs and pull it as far back as the door. I
+maneuver the stretcher on top and realize there is nothing to fasten
+it with ... except the antigrav, I get that undone, holding the
+stretcher in balance, and manage to put it under the stretcher and
+pass the straps between the bars of the grid ... then round the little
+boat, and the buckle just grips the last inch. It will hold, though.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I set the boat to face the broken end of the ship, but I daren't put
+it farther back than the doorway; I turn the antigrav to half, fasten
+the limb-grips and rush back towards the nose of the ship. Silver knob
+under the dial. I turn it down, hear the thing begin a fast, steady
+ticking, and turn and run.
+
+Twenty minutes.
+
+One and a half to get back to the boat, four to get inside it without
+overturning. Nearly two to get down to the sea--balance difficult. One
+and a half to lower myself in.
+
+Thirty seconds' tossing before I sink below the wave layer; then I
+turn the motor as high as I dare and head for the shore.
+
+In a minute I have to turn it down; at this speed the radar is
+bothered by water currents and keeps steering me away from them as
+though they were rocks; I finally find the maximum safe speed but it
+is achingly slow. What happens if you are in water when Andite blows
+half a mile away? A moment's panic as I find the ship being forced up,
+then I realize I have reached the point where the beach starts to
+shelve, turn off radar and motor and start crawling. Eternal slow
+reach out, grab, shove, haul, with my heart in my mouth; then suddenly
+the nose breaks water and I am hauling myself out with a last wave
+doing its best to overbalance me.
+
+I am halfway out of the boat when the Andite blows behind me. There is
+a flat slapping sound; then an instant roar of wind as the air
+receives the binding energies of several tons of matter; then a long
+wave comes pelting up the beach and snatches at the boat.
+
+I huddle into the shingle and hold the boat; I have just got the
+antigrav turned off, otherwise I think it would have been carried
+away. There are two or three more big waves and a patter of spray;
+then it is over.
+
+The outlet valve of the helmet is working, so M'Clare is still
+breathing; very deep, very slow.
+
+I unfasten the belt of the antigrav, having turned it on again, and
+pull the belt through the buckle. No time to take it off and rearrange
+it; anyway it will work as well under the stretcher as on top of it. I
+drag the boat down to the water, put in an Andite cartridge with the
+longest fuse I have, set the controls to take it straight out to sea
+at maximum depth the radar control will allow--six feet above
+bottom--and push it off. The other Andite cartridge starts burning a
+hole in my pocket; I would have liked to put that in too, but I must
+keep it, in case.
+
+I look at my chrono and see that in five minutes the hopper will come.
+
+Five minutes.
+
+I am halfway back to the stretcher when I hear a noise further up the
+beach. Unmistakable. Shingle under a booted foot.
+
+I stand frozen in mid-stride. I turned the light out after launching
+the boat but my eyes have not recovered yet; it is murkily black. Even
+my white suit is only the faintest degree paler than my surroundings.
+
+Silence for a couple of minutes. I stand still. But it can't have gone
+away. What happens when the hopper comes? They will see whoever it is
+on the infrared vision screen. They won't come--
+
+Footsteps again. Several.
+
+Then the clouds part and one of those superfluous little moons shines
+straight through the gap.
+
+The bay is not like the stereo the colonel showed because that was
+taken in winter; now the snow is melted, leaving bare shingle and mud
+and a tumble of rocks; more desolate than the snow. Fifty feet off is
+a man.
+
+He is huddled up in a mass of garments but his head is bare, rising
+out of a hood which he has pushed back, maybe so as to listen better;
+he looks young, hardly older than me. He is holding a long thin object
+which I never saw before, but it must be a weapon of some sort.
+
+This is the end of it. All the evidence of faking is destroyed; except
+M'Clare and me. Even if I use the Andite he has seen me--and that
+leaves M'Clare.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+I am standing here on one foot like a dancer in a jammed movie,
+waiting for Time to start again or the world to end--
+
+Like the little figure in the dance-instruction kit Dad got when I was
+seven, when you switched her off in the middle.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Like a dancer--
+
+My weight shifts on to the forward foot. My arms swing up, forwards,
+back. I take one step, another.
+
+Swing. Turn. Kick. Sideways.
+
+Like the silly little dancer who could not get out of the plastic
+block; but I am moving forward little by little, even if I have to
+take three steps roundabout for every one in advance.
+
+Arms, up. Turn, round. Leg, up. Straighten, out. Step.
+
+Called the Dance of the Little Robot, for about three months Dad
+thought it was no end cute, till he caught on I was thinking so, too.
+
+It is just about the only kind of dance you could do on shingle, I
+guess.
+
+When this started I thought I might be going crazy, but I just had not
+had time to work it out. In terms of Psychology it goes like this; to
+shoot off a weapon a man needs a certain type of Stimulus like the
+sight of an enemy over the end of it. So if I do my best not to look
+like an enemy he will not get that Stimulus. Or put it another way
+most men think twice before shooting a girl in the middle of a dance.
+If I should happen to get away with this, nobody will believe his
+story, he won't believe it himself.
+
+As for the chance of getting away with it, i.e., getting close enough
+to grab the gun or hit him with a rock or something, I know I would
+become a Stimulus to shooting before I did that but there are always
+the clouds, if one will only come back over the moon again.
+
+I have covered half the distance.
+
+Twenty feet from him, and he takes a quick step back.
+
+Turn, kick, out, step. I am swinging round away from him, let's hope
+he finds it reassuring. I dare not look up but I think the light is
+dimming. Turn, kick, out, step. Boxing the compass. Coming round
+again.
+
+And the cloud is coming over the moon, out of the corner of my eye I
+see darkness sweeping towards us--and I see his face of sheer horror
+as he sees it, too; he jumps back, swings up the weapon, and fires
+straight in my face.
+
+And it is dark. So much for Psychology.
+
+There is a clatter and other sounds--
+
+Well, quite a lot for Psychology maybe, because at twenty feet he
+seems to have missed me.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I pick myself up and touch something which apparently is his weapon,
+gun or whatever. I leave it and hare back to the stretcher, next-to
+fall over it but stop just in time, and switch on the antigrav. Up;
+level it; now where to? The cliffs enclosing the bay are about thirty
+yards off to my left and they offer the only cover.
+
+The shingle is relatively level; I make good time till I stumble
+against a rock and nearly lose the stretcher. I step up on to the rock
+and see the cliff as a blacker mass in the general darkness, only a
+yard away. I edge the stretcher round it.
+
+It is almost snatched out of my hand by a gust of wind. I pull it back
+and realize that in the bay I have been sheltered; there is pretty
+near half a gale blowing across the face of the cliff.
+
+Voices and footsteps, away back among the rocks where the man came
+from.
+
+If the clouds part again they will see me, sure as shooting.
+
+I take a hard grip on the stretcher and scramble round the edge of the
+cliff.
+
+After the first gust the wind is not so bad; for the most part it is
+trying to press me back into the cliff. The trouble is that I can't
+see. I have to shuffle my foot forward, rubbing one shoulder against
+the cliff to feel where it is because I have no hand free.
+
+After a few yards I come to an impasse; something more than knee high;
+boulder, ridge, I can't tell.
+
+I weigh on the edge of the stretcher and tilt it up to get it over the
+obstacle. With the antigrav full on it keeps its momentum and goes on
+moving up. I try to check it, but the wind gets underneath.
+
+It is tugging to get away; I step blindly upwards in the effort to
+keep up with it. One foot goes on a narrow ledge, barely a toe hold. I
+am being hauled upwards. I bring the other foot up and find the top of
+a boulder, just within reach. Now the first foot--
+
+And now I am on top of the boulder, but I have lost touch with the
+cliff and the full force of the wind is pulling the stretcher upwards.
+I get one arm over it and fumble underneath for the control of the
+antigrav; I must give it weight and put it down on this boulder and
+wait for the wind to drop.
+
+Suddenly I realize that my weight is going; bending over the stretcher
+puts me in the field of the antigrav. A moment later another gust
+comes, and I realize I am rising into the air.
+
+Gripping the edge of the stretcher with one hand I reach out the
+other, trying to grasp some projection on the face of the cliff. Not
+being able to see I simply push farther away till it is out of reach.
+
+We are still rising.
+
+I pull myself up on the stretcher; there is just room for my toes on
+either side of M'Clare's legs. The wind roaring in my ears makes it
+difficult to think.
+
+Rods of light slash down at me from the edge of the cliff. For a
+moment all I can do is duck; then I realize we are still well below
+them, but rising every moment. The cliff-face is about six feet away;
+the wind reflecting from it keeps us from being blown closer.
+
+I must get the antigrav off. I let myself over the side of the
+stretcher, hanging by one hand, and fumble for the controls. I can
+just reach. Then I realize this is no use. Antigrav controls are not
+meant to go off with a click of the finger; they might get switched
+off accidentally. To work the switch and the safety you must have two
+hands, or one hand in the optimum position. My position is about as
+bad as it could be. I can stroke the switch with one finger; no more.
+
+I haul myself back on to the stretcher and realize we are only about
+six feet under the beam of light. Only one thing left. I feel in my
+pocket for the Andite. Stupidly, I am still also bending over the
+outlet valve of the helmet, trying to see whether M'Clare is still
+breathing or not.
+
+The little white cigar is not fused. I have to hold on with one hand.
+In the end I manage to stick the Andite between thumb and finger-roots
+of that hand while I use the other to find the fuse and stick it over
+the Andite. The shortest; three minutes.
+
+I think the valve is still moving--
+
+Then something drops round me; I am hauled tight against the
+stretcher; we are pulled strongly downwards with the wind buffeting
+and snatching, banged against the edge of something, and pulled
+through into silence and the dark.
+
+For a moment I do not understand; then I recognize the feel of Fragile
+Cargo, still clamping me to the stretcher, and I open my mouth and
+scream and scream.
+
+Clatter of feet. Hatch opens. Fragile Cargo goes limp.
+
+I stagger to my feet. Faint light through the hatch; B's head. I hold
+out the Andite stick and she turns and shouts; and a panel slides open
+in the wall so that the wind comes roaring in.
+
+I push the stick through and the wind snatches it away and it is gone.
+
+After that--
+
+ * * * * *
+
+After that, for a while, nothing, I suppose, though I have no
+recollection of losing consciousness; only without any sense of break
+I find I am flat on my back on one of the seats in the cabin of the
+hopper.
+
+I sit up and say "How--"
+
+B who is sitting on the floor beside me says that when the broadcaster
+was activated of course they came at once, only while they were
+waiting for the boat to reach land whole squads of land cars arrived
+and started combing the area, and some came up on top of the cliff and
+shone their headlights out over the sea so Mr. Yardo had to lurk
+against the cliff face and wait till I got into a position where he
+could pick me up and it was _frightfully_ clever of me to think of
+floating up on antigrav--
+
+I forgot about the broadcaster.
+
+I forgot about the hopper come to that, there seemed to be nothing in
+the world except me and the stretcher and the enemy.
+
+Stretcher.
+
+I say, "Is M'Clare--"
+
+At which moment Mr. Yardo turns from the controls with a wide smile of
+triumph and says "Eighteen twenty-seven, girls!" and the world goes
+weightless and swings upside down.
+
+Then still with no sense of any time-lapse I am lying in the big
+lighted hold, with the sound of trampling all round: it is somehow
+filtered and far off and despite the lights there seems to be a globe
+of darkness around my head. I hear my own voice repeating, "M'Clare?
+How's M'Clare?"
+
+A voice says distantly, without emphasis, "M'Clare? He's dead."
+
+The next time I come round it is dark. I am vaguely aware of having
+been unconscious for quite a while.
+
+There is a single thread of knowledge connecting this moment with the
+last: M'Clare's dead.
+
+This is the central factor: I seem to have been debating it with
+myself for a very long time.
+
+I suppose the truth is simply that the Universe never guarantees
+anything; life, or permanence, or that your best will be good enough.
+
+The rule is that you have to pick yourself up and go on; and lying
+here in the dark is not doing it.
+
+I turn on my side and see a cluster of self-luminous objects including
+a light switch. I reach for it.
+
+How did I get into a hospital?
+
+On second thoughts it is a cabin in the ship, or rather two of them
+with the partition torn out, I can see the ragged edge of it. There is
+a lot of paraphernalia around; I climb out to have a look.
+
+Holy horrors what's happened? Someone borrowed my legs and put them
+back wrong; my eyes also are not functioning well, the light is set at
+Minimum and I am still dazzled. I see a door and make for it to get
+Explanations from somebody.
+
+Arrived, I miss my footing and stumble against the door and on the
+other side someone says "Hello, Lizzie. Awake at last?"
+
+I think my heart stops for a moment. I can't find the latch. I am
+vaguely aware of beating something with my fists, and then the door
+gives, sticks, gives again and I stumble through and land on all fours
+the other side of it.
+
+Someone is calling: "Lizzie! Are you hurt? Where the devil have they
+all got to? Liz!"
+
+I sit up and say, "They said you were _dead_!"
+
+"_Who_ did?"
+
+"I ... I ... someone in the hold. I said How's M'Clare? and they said
+you were dead."
+
+M'Clare frowns and says gently, "Come over here and sit down quietly
+for a bit. You've been dreaming."
+
+Have I? Maybe the whole thing was a dream--but if so how far does it
+go? Going down in the heli? The missile? The boat? Crawling through
+the black tunnel of a broken ship?
+
+No, because he is sitting in a sort of improvised chaise longue and
+his legs are evidently strapped in place under the blanket; he is
+fumbling with the fastening or something.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I say "Hey! Cut that out!"
+
+He straightens up irritably.
+
+"Don't you start that, Lysistrata. I've been suffering the attentions
+of the damnedest collection of amateur nurses who ever handled a
+thermocouple, for over a week. I don't deny they've been very
+efficient, but when it comes to--"
+
+Over a _week_?
+
+He nods. "My dear Lizzie, we left Incognita ten days ago. Amateur
+nursing again! They have some unholy book of rules which says that for
+Exposure, Exhaustion and Shock the best therapy is sleep. I don't
+doubt it, but it goes on to say that in extreme cases the patient has
+been known to benefit by as much as two weeks of it. I didn't find out
+that they were trying it on you until about thirty-six hours ago when
+I began inquiring why you weren't around. They kept me under for three
+days--in fact until their infernal Handbook said it was time for my
+leg muscles to have some exercise. Miss Lammergaw was the
+ring-leader."
+
+No wonder my legs feel as though someone exchanged the muscles for
+cotton wool, just wait till I get hold of Kirsty.
+
+If it hadn't been for her, I shouldn't have spent ten days
+remembering, even in my sleep, that--
+
+I say, "Hell's feathers, it was _you_!"
+
+M'Clare makes motions as though to start getting out of his chair,
+looking seriously alarmed. I say, "It was your voice! When I asked--"
+
+M'Clare, quite definitely, starts to blush. Not much, but some.
+
+"Lizzie, I believe you're right. I have a sort of vague memory of
+someone asking how I was--and I gave what I took to be a truthful
+answer. I remember it seemed quite inconceivable that I could be
+alive. In fact I still don't understand it. Neither Yardo nor Miss
+Laydon could tell me. How _did_ you get me out of that ship?"
+
+Well, I do my best to explain, glossing over one or two points; at the
+finish he closes his eyes and says nothing for a while.
+
+Then he says, "So except for this one man who saw you, you left no
+traces at all?"
+
+Not that I know of, but--
+
+"Do you know, five minutes later there were at least twenty men in
+that bay, most of them scientists? They don't seem to have found
+anything suspicious. Visibility was bad, of course, and you can't
+leave foot-prints in shingle--"
+
+Hold on, what _is_ all this?
+
+M'Clare says, "We've had two couriers while you were asleep. Yes, I
+know it's not ordinarily possible for a ship on Mass-Time to get news.
+One of these days someone will have an interesting problem in Cultural
+Engineering, working out how to integrate some of these Space Force
+secrets into our economic and social structure without upsetting the
+whole of the known volume. Though courier boats make their crews so
+infernally sick I doubt whether the present type will ever come into
+common use. Anyway, we've had transcripts of a good many broadcasts
+from Incognita, the last dated four days ago; and as far as we can
+tell they're interpreting _Gilgamesh_ just as we meant them to.
+
+"The missile, by the way, was experimental, waiting to be test-fired
+the next day. The man in charge saw _Gilgamesh_ on the alarm screens
+and got trigger-happy. The newscasters were divided as to whether he
+should be blamed or praised; they all seem to feel he averted a
+menace, at least temporarily, but some of them think the invaders
+could have been captured alive.
+
+"The first people on the scene came from a scientific camp; you and
+Miss Laydon saw their lights on the way down. You remember that area
+is geophysically interesting? Well, by extraordinary good luck an
+international group was there studying it. They rushed straight off to
+the site of the landing--they actually saw _Gilgamesh_, and she
+registered on some of their astronomical instruments, too. They must
+be a reckless lot. What's more, they started trying to locate her on
+the sea bottom the next day. Found both pieces; they're still trying
+to locate the nose. They were all set to try raising the smaller piece
+when their governments both announced in some haste that they were
+sending a properly equipped expedition. Jointly.
+
+"There's been no mention in any newscast of anyone seeing fairies or
+sea maidens--I expect the poor devil thinks you were a hallucination."
+
+So we brought it off.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+I am very thankful in a distant sort of way, but right now the
+Incognitans have no more reality for me than the Lost Kafoozalum.
+
+M'Clare came through alive.
+
+I could spend a good deal of time just getting used to that fact, but
+there is something I ought to say and I don't know how.
+
+I inquire after his injuries and learn they are healing nicely.
+
+I look at him and he is frowning.
+
+He says, "Lizzie. Just before my well-meant but ineffective attempt at
+suicide--"
+
+Here it comes.
+
+I say quick If he is worrying about all that nonsense he talked in
+order to distract my attention, forget it; I have.
+
+Silence, then he says wearily, "I talked nonsense, did I?"
+
+I say there is no need to worry, under the circumstances anyone would
+have a perfect right to be raving off his Nut.
+
+I then find I cannot bear this conversation any longer so I get up
+saying I expect he is tired and I will call someone.
+
+I get nearly to the door when
+
+"_No_, Lizzie! you can't let that crew loose on me just in order to
+change the conversation. Come back here. I appreciate your wish to
+spare my feelings, but it's wasted. We'll have this out here and now.
+
+"I remember quite well what I said, and so do you: I said that I loved
+you. I also said that I had intended to ask you to marry me as soon as
+you ceased to be one of my pupils. Well, the results of Finals were
+officially announced three days ago.
+
+"Oh, I suppose I always knew what the answer would be, but I didn't
+want to spend the rest of my life wondering, because I never had the
+guts to ask you.
+
+"You don't dislike me as you used to--you've forgiven me for making
+you come to Russett--but you still think I'm a cold-blooded
+manipulator of other people's minds and emotions. So I am; it's part
+of the job.
+
+"You're quite right to distrust me for that, though. It is the danger
+of this profession, that we end up by looking on everybody and
+everything as a subject for manipulation. Even in our personal lives.
+I always knew that: I didn't begin to be afraid of it until I realized
+I was in love with you.
+
+"I could have made you love me, Lizzie. I could! I didn't try. Not
+that I didn't want love on those terms, or any terms. But to use
+professional ... tricks ... in private life, ends by destroying all
+reality. I always treated you exactly as I treated my other
+students--I think. But I could have made you think you loved me ...
+even if I am twice your age--"
+
+This I cannot let pass, I say "Hi! According to College rumor you
+cannot be more than thirty-six; I'm twenty-three."
+
+M'Clare says in a bemused sort of way He will be thirty-seven in a
+couple of months.
+
+I say, "I will be twenty-four next week and your arithmetic is still
+screwy; and here is another datum you got wrong. I do love you. Very
+much."
+
+He says, "Golden Liz."
+
+Then other things which I remember all right, I shall keep them to
+remember any time I am tired, sick, cold, hungry Hundred-and-ninety--;
+but they are not for writing down.
+
+Then I suppose at some point we agreed it is time for me to go,
+because I find myself outside the cabin and there is Colonel
+Delano-Smith.
+
+He makes me a small speech about various matters ending that he hears
+he has to congratulate me.
+
+Huh?
+
+Oh, Space and Time did one of those unimitigated so-and-sos, my dear
+classmates, leave M'Clare's communicator on?
+
+The colonel says he heard I did very well in my Examinations.
+
+Sweet splitting photons I forgot all about Finals.
+
+It is just as well my Education has come to an honorable end, because ...
+well, shades of ... well, Goodness gracious and likewise Dear me, I am
+going to marry a _Professor_.
+
+Better just stick to it I am going to marry M'Clare, it makes better
+sense that way.
+
+But Gosh we are going to have to do some re-adjusting to a changed
+Environment. Both of us.
+
+Oh, well, M'Clare is a Professor of Cultural Engineering and I just
+past my Final Exams in same; surely if anyone can we should be able to
+work out how you live Happily Ever After?
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Lost Kafoozalum, by Pauline Ashwell
+
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