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diff --git a/30584.txt b/30584.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a3b318b --- /dev/null +++ b/30584.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2738 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Covent Garden Theatre, or Pasquin Turn'd +Drawcansir, by Charles Macklin, et al + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The Covent Garden Theatre, or Pasquin Turn'd Drawcansir + + +Author: Charles Macklin + + + +Release Date: December 2, 2009 [eBook #30584] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE COVENT GARDEN THEATRE, OR +PASQUIN TURN'D DRAWCANSIR*** + + +E-text prepared by Louise Hope, Joseph Cooper, Alex Buie, The Type-In +Addicts, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team +(http://www.pgdp.net) + + + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this + file which includes illustrative images of portions + of the original text. + See 30584-h.htm or 30584-h.zip: + (http://www.gutenberg.org/files/30584/30584-h/30584-h.htm) + or + (http://www.gutenberg.org/files/30584/30584-h.zip) + + +Transcriber's note: + + The primary text was handwritten, probably by a professional + copyist. All line-endings were regularized by added dashes of + variable length; some "real" dashes are therefore conjectural. + Instead of typographic variants such as italics or boldface, + some words are distinguished by _underlining_ or #smaller + writing#. Abbreviations such as "Mr." were written with + superscripts as M^r.; they have been simplified for + readability. + + Unless otherwise noted, all spelling, punctuation and + capitalization--including I/J variation and comma/period + errors--are as in the original. Errors and uncertainties are + listed at the end of the e-text. + + + + + The Augustan Reprint Society + + + CHARLES MACKLIN + + _THE COVENT GARDEN_ + _THEATRE,_ + + OR + _Pasquin Turn'd Drawcansir_ + + (1752) + + _INTRODUCTION_ + by + JEAN B. KERN + + [Decoration] + + Publication Number 116 + WILLIAM ANDREWS CLARK MEMORIAL LIBRARY + University of California, Los Angeles + 1965 + + + + +GENERAL EDITORS + + Earl R. Miner, _University of California, Los Angeles_ + Maximillian E. Novak, _University of California, Los Angeles_ + Lawrence Clark Powell, _Wm. Andrews Clark Memorial Library_ + + +ADVISORY EDITORS + + Richard C. Boys, _University of Michigan_ + John Butt, _University of Edinburgh_ + James L. Clifford, _Columbia University_ + Ralph Cohen, _University of California, Los Angeles_ + Vinton A. Dearing, _University of California, Los Angeles_ + Arthur Friedman, _University of Chicago_ + Louis A. Landa, _Princeton University_ + Samuel H. Monk, _University of Minnesota_ + Everett T. Moore, _University of California, Los Angeles_ + James Sutherland, _University College, London_ + H. T. Swedenberg, Jr., _University of California, Los Angeles_ + + +CORRESPONDING SECRETARY + + Edna C. Davis, _Clark Memorial Library_ + + + + +EDITORS' NOTE + +Although of considerable interest in itself, this hitherto unpublished +manuscript play is reprinted in facsimile in response to requests by +members of the Society for a manuscript facsimile of use in graduate +seminars. + + + + +INTRODUCTION + + +The Larpent collection of the Huntington Library contains the +manuscript copy of Charles Macklin's COVENT GARDEN THEATRE, OR +PASQUIN TURN'D DRAWCANSIR in two acts (Larpent 96) which is here +reproduced in facsimile.[1] It is an interesting example of that +mid-eighteenth-century phenomenon, the afterpiece, from a period when +not only Shakespearean stock productions but new plays as well were +accompanied by such farcical appendages.[2] This particular afterpiece +is worth reproducing not only for its catalogue of the social foibles of +the age, but as an illustration of satirical writing for the stage at a +time when dramatic taste often wavered toward the sentimental. It +appears that it has not been previously printed. + +As an actor Charles Macklin is remembered for his Scottish dress in the +role of Macbeth, for his realistic portrayal of Shylock, for his quarrel +with Garrick in 1743, and for his private lectures on acting at the +Piazza in Covent Garden. He is less well known than he deserves as a +dramatist although there has been a recent revival of interest in his +plays stimulated by a biography by William W. Appleton, _Charles +Macklin: An Actor's Life_ (Harvard University Press, 1960) and evidenced +in "A Critical Study of the Extant Plays of Charles Macklin" by Robert +R. Findlay (PhD. Thesis at the State University of Iowa, 1963). Appleton +mentions that Macklin lost books and manuscripts in a shipwreck in 1771 +(p. 150) and that play manuscripts may also have disappeared in the sale +of his books and papers at the end of his long life at the turn of the +eighteenth century. It is possible that more of Macklin's work may come +to light, like _The Fortune Hunters_ which appeared in the National +Library in Dublin. Until a complete critical edition of Macklin's plays +appears, making possible better assessment of his merit, such farces as +THE COVENT GARDEN THEATRE will have to stand as an example of one genre +of eighteenth-century theatrical productions. + +There are many reasons why Macklin's plays are less well known than is +warranted by his personality and acting ability during his long +association with the British stage. His first play, _King Henry VII_, +a tragedy hastily put together to capitalize on the anti-Jacobite +sentiment following the invasion attempt of 1745, was an ambitious +failure. After this discouragement, he also had trouble with the +Licenser so that his comedy _Man of the World_ was not presented until +1781, twenty years after a portion of it first appeared at Covent +Garden.[3] Nor were censorship and a bad start his only problems as a +playwright. He also, and apparently with good reason,[4] was fearful +of piracy and was thus reluctant to have his plays printed. His +eighteenth-century biographer Kirkman mentions Macklin's threats to "put +the law against every offender of it, respecting my property, in full +force."[5] His biographers also mention his practice of giving each +actor only his own role at rehearsals while keeping the manuscript copy +of the whole play under lock, but this did not prevent whole acts from +being printed in such magazines as _The Court Miscellany_, where Act I +of _Love-a-la-Mode_ was printed as it was taken down in shorthand by the +famous shorthand expert Joseph Gurney. If Macklin had not been required +to submit copies of his plays to the Licenser, it is doubtful that as +much would have survived. The contentious Macklin had reason for +zealously guarding his manuscripts, with such provincial theatre +managers as Tate Wilkinson at York always anxious for new plays. + +Finally, Macklin's best work as a playwright was satiric enough and +topical enough to be short-lived in popularity even in his own day. Sir +Pertinax McSychophant in the _Man of the World_ is a good character, +especially in his famous speech on the necessity of bowing to get ahead +in the world, as is Sir Archy MacSarcasm in _Love-a-la-Mode_, but the +latter produced _A Scotsman's Remarks on the Farce Love-a-la Mode_ in +the _Gentleman's Magazine_ for June, 1760, and Macklin's additional +troubles with the Licenser would indicate that his satiric barbs were +not always well received. + +Larpent manuscript 96, here reproduced, bears the application of John +Rich to the Duke of Grafton, dated 1752, for the Licenser's permission +and an inscription to William Chetwynd, Esq. (spelled "Chetwyne" on +the MS.). It was extensively advertised before its one and only +performance in the Covent Garden Theatre on April 8, 1752. The +advertisement printed in _The London Stage_, Pt. 4, I, 305, is taken +from the _General Advertiser_ and warns the public not to confuse this +farce with Charles Woodward's _A Lick at the Town_ of 1751. The fact +that the sub-title PASQUIN TURN'D DRAWCANSIR carried an obvious allusion +to Fielding's pseudonym Alexander Drawcansir in his _Covent Garden +Journal_, and the fact that the _Covent Garden Journal_ carried the +advertisement for Macklin's play on March 14, 17, 21 and 28, 1752, +before the single performance on April 8, 1752, might suggest that +Fielding may possibly have seen the script before the play was produced. +Esther M. Raushenbush in an article on "Charles Macklin's Lost Play +about Henry Fielding," _MLN_, LI (1936), 505-14, points out that Macklin +was not attacking Fielding in this play as W. L. Cross and G. E. Jensen +had earlier suggested, but instead was trading on the popularity of +Fielding's _Enquiry into the Causes of the Late Increase of Robbers_, +which had appeared in January, 1751. Macklin's farce makes clear +reference to Section III of Fielding's pamphlet near the end of THE +COVENT GARDEN THEATRE where Pasquin delivers a lecture against Sharpers. + +The advertisement for Macklin's play in Fielding's _Covent Garden +Journal_ is the same as that printed in _The London Stage_ from the +_General Advertiser_: + + a New Dramatic Satire ... written on the model of the Comedies of + Aristophanes or like Pasquinades of the Italian Theatre in Paris: + with the Characters of the People after the manner of Greek + drama--The parts of the Pit, the Boxes, the Galleries, the Stage, + and the Town to be performed By Themselves for their Diversion. The + Parts of several dull, disorderly characters in and about St. James, + to be performed by Certain Persons, for Example: and the part of + Pasquin Drawcansir, to be performed by his Censorial Highness, for + his Interest.[6] The Satire to be introduced by an Oration and to + conclude by a Peroration. Both to be spoken from the Rostrum in the + manner of certain Orators by Signior Pasquin. + +No cast remains, but presumably from references in the play itself, +Macklin took the role of Pasquin who with the aid of Marforio calls in +review characters representing all the foibles of the age. There is no +plot. Act I simply ends while Pasquin and the Spectators retire to the +Green Room to await the appearance of those characters whom Marforio has +called in review. + +In this ambitious attempt to list all the follies of his age, Macklin +employs the popular technique of eighteenth-century plays such as +Fielding's _The Author's Farce_--the play appears to be writing itself +on the stage. He displays all the tricks of satire--exaggeratedly ironic +praise, allegorical names (Miss Giggle, Miss Brilliant, Miss Bashfull), +stock characters of satire (Pasquin, Marforio, Hydra, Drawcansir), lists +of offenses, parodies of polite conversation reminiscent of Swift, and +constant topical references: to the Robin Hood Society to which little +Bob Smart belongs; to Mother Midnight; to playwrights (Fielding, Foote, +Woodward, Cibber, and himself); to contemporary theatrical taste +(Pantomime, Delaval's _Othello_ which Macklin himself had coached, +Harlequins, Masquerades, and various theatrical tricks); to Critics +(Bonnell Thornton, who later reviewed this afterpiece, is called +Termagent since Thornton's pseudonym was "Roxana Termagent"; John Hill +is referred to as the "Inspector" of the _Daily Advertiser_; and +Fielding is called Sir Alexander Drawcansir). The farce abounds in these +topical references, from Pasquin's opening invocation to Lucian, +"O thou, who first explored and dared to laugh at Public Folly," to its +closing lecture against Sharpers like Count Hunt Bubble where the +obvious allusions to Section III on Gaming of Fielding's _Enquiry_ ... +are applauded by Solomon Common Sense, the voice of Reason. + +This vast parade of fashions and foibles with frequent thinly veiled +references to individuals may explain the numerous Licenser's marks on +the manuscript. If all the marked lines were omitted, it is small wonder +that this afterpiece was performed only once. Dramatic satire, without +plot, is difficult to sustain even in farce, and if the marked lines +were cut, there was little left to recommend the play. It is not +surprizing that the Licenser objected to such passages as the +description of Miss Giggle's "nudities," but his frequent objections +to topical and personal references took all the bite out of Macklin's +satire. + +Like Macklin's other early farces, THE COVENT GARDEN THEATRE contains +proto-characters for his later plays. Sir Roger Ringwood, a "five-bottle +man," who rode twenty miles from a "red-hot Fox Chace" to appear before +Pasquin, is an early study for Macklin's later hard-drinking, +fox-hunting Squire Groom in _Love-a-la Mode_ or Lord Lumbercourt in _The +Man of the World_. But Macklin's usual good ear for dialogue is missing +from this play, nor is any character except his own as Pasquin followed +long enough to make his characteristic speech identifiable. Since plot +is absent too, all that remains is the wealth of topical and personal +satire which in itself is interesting to the historian of the +mid-eighteenth-century theatre. If THE COVENT GARDEN THEATRE is studied +along with his other two unpublished afterpieces in the Larpent +collection (A WILL AND NO WILL, OR A BONE FOR THE LAWYERS and THE NEW +PLAY CRITICIZ'D, OR THE PLAGUE OF ENVY), Macklin's skill at satiric +comedy after his initial abortive attempt at tragedy can be seen as +developing steadily toward such later full-length comedies as the better +known _Love-a-la Mode_ (1759) and _The Man of the World_ (1764). His +recognition that tragedy was not his forte and his self-criticism in THE +COVENT GARDEN THEATRE, where he exhorts the audience to "explode" him +when he is dull, reveal the comic spirit operative in his sometimes +cantankerous personality. It is that strain, here seen in genesis, which +develops full-fledged in his later comedies. + +A word should be added about the Dramatis Personae for the play. It does +not contain the Stage-Keeper, who speaks only once, the Servant whose +single word is accompanied by the stage direction "This Servant is to be +on from the beginning," nor the Romp (probably the Prompter, who speaks +twice off-stage during the play). Hic and Haec Scriblerus, however, +although he is listed in the cast of characters, speaks only once, and +his entrance on stage is never indicated. + +The "naked lady," Lady Lucy Loveit, whose entrance causes so much +excitement, is described as appearing in a Pett-en-l'air, which +eighteenth-century costume books portray as a short, loose shift! + +_Coe College_ + + + + +NOTES TO THE INTRODUCTION + + + [Footnote 1: The author of this introduction is indebted to the + Henry E. Huntington Library, San Marino, California, both for a + research Fellowship in the summer of 1963 and for permission to + reproduce this Macklin play as well as two others by the same + author, A WILL AND NO WILL, OR A BONE FOR THE LAWYERS (Larpent 58) + and THE NEW PLAY CRITICIS'D, OR THE PLAGUE OF ENVY (Larpent 64).] + + [Footnote 2: George W. Stone, _The London Stage_, Part 4, I, + cxlv.] + + [Footnote 3: Dougald MacMillan, "Censorship in the Case of + Macklin's _The Man of the World_," _Huntington Library Quarterly_, + No. 10 (1936), pp. 79-101.] + + [Footnote 4: W. Matthews, "The Piracies of Macklin's _Love-a-la + Mode_," _Review of English Studies_, X (1934), 311-18.] + + [Footnote 5: James T. Kirkman, _Memoirs of the Life of Charles + Macklin, Esq._ (1799), II, 33. Kirkman quotes Macklin's letters + both to his solicitor and to James Whitley of Leicester to stop + all such pirated performances (II, 37-41).] + + [Footnote 6: John Rich's application to the Licenser indicates + that "Mr. Macklin designs to have [the play] performed at his + Benefit Night...."] + + + + +1752 + + +Covent Garden Theatre. + +or + +Pasquin turn'd Drawcansir + +A + +Dramatic Satyr. + + Sr. + + This peice ent'd Covt. Garden Theatre + or Pasquin turn'd Drawcansir Mr. + Macklin designs to have perform'd on his + Benefit Night wth the permission of his Grace + the Duke of Grafton. + + To William Chetwyne Esq. + + I am + Sr. yr humble Srvt + Jno Rich + + + + +Dramatis Personae + + +Men. + + Pasquin. + Marforio. + Sir Eternal Grinn. + Sir Conjecture Possitive. + Sir Roger Ringwood. + Bob: Smart. + Solomon Common Sense + Count Hunt bubble. + Sr. Iohn Ketch. + Hic & haec Scriblerus. + Hydra. + + +Women. + + Lady Lucy Lovit + Miss Diana Singlelife + Miss Brilliant. + Miss Giggle. + Miss Bashful. + + +Scene. Covent Garden Theatre. + +Time an hour. + + + + + Covent Garden Theatre + Or + Pasquin turn'd Drawcansir. + + + Scene. The Stage, with a Rostrum on it. + + Enter Pasquin. Goes in the Rostrum. + +Pas: +Nobles,-- Commons-- Beaux, Bells-- Wits, Critics,-- Bards & Bardlins,-- +and ye my very good Friends of Common Sense,-- tho' last, not least in +Merit,-- Greeting, and Patience to you all. I Seignior Pasquin, of the +Quorum of Parnassus. Drawcansir and Censor of Great Britain, by my Bills +and Advertisements, have Summoned You together this Night to hear a +Public Examination of several Public Nusances, My Scene I have laid in +the Common Theatre, which is my usual place of exposing those Knaves and +Fools, who despise the Moral-- and those who are too great or too Subtle +for the common Law, and as my whole design is new, I hope You, my +Gracious Patrons, will not be Offended if I Assigne you a part in this +Pasquinade, which is this,-- You are to Act as a Chorus to the whole. +When you behold a Fool pleasantly exposed You are to laugh, if you +please, not else;-- When a Knave is Satyrized with Spirit & Wit, You are +to Applaud;-- and when Pasquin is dull you are to explode, which I +Suppose will be the Chief of Your Part. But, before I Enter upon my +Office of Public Censor, give me leave Gracious Patrons, as is my +Custom, whenever I come, to give a short Sketch of my Character and +Practice. I am known throughout the Globe, have been Caress'd in most of +the Courts, lock'd up in most Prisons in Europe. The dexterity of my +Flattery has introduced me to the Tables of the First Dons in Madrid one +Day, and, the boldness of my Satyr, into the Inquisition next. I have +Revel'd with the Princes of the Blood, and have made all Paris laugh at +my Wit over Night, and, have had the Honour of being in the Bastile the +next Morning. indeed I fared but indifferently in Holland; for, all that +my Flattery, or Satyr, my Ridicule or my Wit, cou'd procure me there, +was an Appartment in the Rasp House. At length, most Gracious and +Indulgent Britons, I am arrived in this Great Metropolis! this Magazine +of all the World! this Nurse of Trade! this Region of Liberty! this +School of Arts and Sciences! This Universal Rendevouz of all the +Monsters produced by wagish Nature & fantastick Art, here Panopticons, +Microcosms, Bears, Badgers, Lyons, Leapords, Tygers, Panthers, Ostriches +and Unicorns,-- Giants, dwarfs, Hermorphradites and Conjurers, Statemen, +Nostrums, Patriots and Corncutters! Quacks, Turks, Enthusiasts, and Fire +Eaters. Mother Midnights, Termagants, Clare Market, and Robin Hood +Orators, Drury Lane Journals, Inspectors, Fools, and Drawcansirs, dayly +Tax the Public by Virtue of the Strangeness the Monstrosity or delicacy +of their Nature or Genius, And hither I am come, knowing you were fond +of Monsters, To exhibit Mine, the newest & I hope the greatest Monster +of them all, for the Public is a common Bank, upon which every Genius +and every Beauty has a right to draw in proportion to their merit, from +a Minister of State and a Maid of Honour, down to a Chien Savant or a +Covent Garden Mistress, To Conclude, my Business in this Land may be +Sum'd up in a few Words; it is to get your money and cure you of Your +Foibles. for wherever Pasquin comes the Public is his Patient; its Folly +his Support. (#bows#) So much by way of Oratia now for Action-- then for +Peroration. + +Hollo! Marforio! (#goes to the door#). + + Enter Marforio. + +Mar: +Here my Fellow Labourer! + +Pas: +Have you prepared for general Search? + +Mar: +I have-- but let me once more entreat you to alter your design. do not +behave with your usual Sacasm and boldness upon your first appearance. +Strive to gain the favour of the Public by Morality and Panegyrick-- not +by undaunted Satyr-- + +Pas: +Marforio, We are come to England to make Our Fortune by Our parts, And +you Advise to begin with Morality and Flattery. You might as well Advise +a Soldier to make his Fortune by Cowardice. No Sir, he, who wou'd gain +the Esteem of a Brave, a wise, and a free people, must lash their Vices, +and laugh at their Folies. + +Mar: +Well, if you must be Satyrical, confine Your Satyr to the City. + +Pas: +No, I'll begin at the Source. the Bourgoie is but the Ape of the +Courtier; Correct the one, the other Mends of Course. I will Scour the +whole Circle of this metropolis; not a tilted Sharpor, or a fair +Libertine, but I will Gibbet in Effigie. Birth Privilege or Quality +shall not be a Sanction to the ignominious Practices of the one, nor +shall Fashion or Beauty be a Skreen for the Folly or Indecency of the +other. Tho' they elude the Laws of Westminster, they shall not escape +the Lash of Parnassus. Here we have no Inquisition, no Bastile, no Rasp +House, to dread. So without a Single hesitation more of Doubt or fear, +let us at once plunge into Action.-- Go you & take a Set of proper +Officers with you and, by a Warrant from Appollo, Search every +disorderly House in Town. Routs, drums, and Assemblies, particularly the +den. + +Mar: +It shall be done. (#Exit Marforio#) + +Pas: +O thou, who first explored and dar'd to laugh at Public Folly; Sweet +facetious Lucian, Father of Gibes and laughing Ridicule Inspire thy +Votary, teach me this Night to draw a Striking Likeness in which the +free born Britons may behold their Beauties and Deformities as perfectly +as the Inquisitive Eye does its own Image in the faithful Mirror! + + Enter Marforio. + +Pas: +What brings you back? + +Mar: +I met the Town at the Stage door & return'd to give you Notice, that +they may not Surprize you. + +Pas: +I am glad they are come, what sort of Humour are they in. + +Mar: +Seemingly in a good one. But in roaring Spirits and in high Expectation +of Riot and Fun as they term it. + + Hydra. behind the Scenes + +Hyd: +Where, where, which way! here, this Way, this way Ladies. this way. + +Pas: +Here they come, begone-- leave them to Me-- Proceed you in your Search. + +Mar: +I shall. (Exit) + +Hyd: +This way, this way Ladies. + +Pas: +I'll retire, till I see what humour they are in (#retires#). + + Enter Hydra, Miss Brilliant & + Stage-Keeper. + +Stage. +Mr. Hydra Servant. + +Servt: +Here (this Servt: be on from the begining) + +Hyd: +This way Madam. + +Brill: +Well do you know Mr. Hydra that I am upon the Tip-toe of Expectation to +know what this Medley can be? + +Hyd: +Upon Honour so am I-- quite upon the Rack, but where is the rest of Our +Party? Miss Bashfull here's mighty good Room. Bob Smart won't you hand +miss Bashfull to her Place. + + Enter Bob Smart. + +Bob. +Upon Honour I cannot prevail upon her to come on. She's Affraid the +Audience will take her for one of the Actresses and hiss her. + +Omn: +Ha, ha, ha, ridiculous. + +Brill. +Dear Creature come on. Lord I have Sat upon the Stage a hundred times +(#pulls her on#) and if they should take us for some of the Characters +in the Farce. I vow I should be glad of it. + +Bob: +Upon Honour so Should I. + +Bash. +O Lud, I should instantly faint away if they took me for an Actress. + +Brill. +Ha-- ha-- ha-- O Lud I protest there's Sr. Conjecture Possitive. in the +Musick Place. + +Bash. +Upon Honour so he is. + +Brill. +Sr: Conjecture your Servant, won't you come up to Us? we'll make Room +for You. + + #Sr. Conjecture in the Musick Room.# + +Sr. Con: +Miss your humble I am afraid so many of us upon the Stage will offend +the Audience. + +Brill. +O not at all, It is in the Bills that the Town are to Sit upon the +Stage, & sure Sir Conjecture the World must Allow you to be a Principall +Character amongst Us. + +Sr. Con: +The World is very kind Madam. I'll do my Self the Honour to attend you. + +Bash. +Pray Miss Brilliant do you know who this Pasquin is? + +Brill. +Yes Child; he is one of the Heathen Gods; Iupiter's Grandfather. You may +read a particular Account of him my dear, in Homer, or Milton, or any of +the Greek Poets (#pulls out a Bill of the Farce#) well I vow its a +Whimsicall Bill this; a charming Puff. Lud where's Sir Conjecture? +I suppose he can give us a particular Account of it. for he knows every +thing. + +Hyd: +You mean Miss he pretends to know every thing.. + +Brill. +Why that is as Pleasant to him Mr. Hydra, as if he really had knowledge, +he is a strange conceited Coxcomb to be sure, but entertaining. I wonder +his Character was never introduced upon the Stage, he is a most +ridiculous Fellow. + + Enter Sr. Conjecture + +Sr. Con: +Ha-- ha-- ha-- who is that dear Miss is a ridiculous Fellow. + +Omn: +Ha-- ha-- ha-- + +Brill: +O Lud, I hope he did not here me (#apart#) + +Omn: +Ha-- ha-- ha, + +Brill: +Why this-- a-- a-- Macklin, Macklin,-- or Pasquin-- or Drawcansir-- or +who ever it was that writ this Play Bill. + +Sr. Con: +It is a Puff, a Puff-- a Puff, a very good Puff upon Honour, like +Woodward's lick at the Town last year. I am afraid tho' All the Wit of +the Author is in the Bill, ha, ha, ha. + +Omn: +Ha, ha, ha. + +Brill: +Now upon Honour I like it for it's Novelty. + +Bob: +And upon Honour I shall damn it for it's Novelty, ev'ry Man in his +Humour as the Play says. + +Hyd: +Ha, ha, well said Bob. + +Brill: +But the Pit, Boxes and Gallery's doing their parts for their Diversion, +that's what puzzles me. + +Hyd: +Lord, that's all a Puff. he'll have some body upon the Stage to +represent them. + +Sr. Con: +No, no, no, you are out, you are out, he is to have one of the Actors in +the Pitt; who is to Speak from thence-- See there-- there he is the very +Actor-- You may See him from hence-- he sits next to that very handsome +Gentleman that looks like a Iew's Bastard. + +Omn: +Ha, ha, ha-- I see him, I see him. + +Sr. Con: +And there's one of the Actresses some where or other in the Front +Boxes;-- She's a New Woman-- very handsome they say, one Miss +Tweezeldon. I wish we cou'd find her out. + +Hyd: +I can't see her;-- unless that be She with the White teeth that laughs +so heartily, and is playing with her Fan. + +Sr. Conj. +I believe that is She; yes, yes, that is she I am Possitive, for she +blushes at Our Speaking of her, but we shall put her out of +Countenance.-- Ladies we should not let the Audience so far into the +Secret; it will not be fair;-- come let us Step into the Green Room for +a Moment-- I want to have a little Chat with this Pasquin. + +Brill: +Miss Bashfull come Child we'll go into the Green Room. were you ever +there. + +Bash: +Never Madam. + +Brill: +Come then I'll shew it you. + +Bash: +O with all my heart-- I long to See the Green Room; I have often heard +of it-- they say the Actresses paint Prodigiously-- I shou'd like of all +things to see them near. + +Sr. Con: +Come Ladies if you please I'll Introduce you. + + Exeunt. + + Enter Pasquin. + +Pas: +So there they go,-- the choice Spirits, the Infalibles, who preside at +all Public Diversions; and on whom the Fate of Pasquin this Night +depends. + +Hyd: +Where is he, where is this Drawcansir } within + +Romp. +This way Sir, on the Stage. } + +Hyd: +(#_Running up to him with great Ceremony_#) Seignior Pasquin-- +Drawcansir-- Censor of great Britain, your Satyrical Mightiness is +welcome to London. and now Sir, as you and I are to be very intimate to +night, pray, Sir, give me leave to have the Honour of introducing my +self to you. + +Pas: +Sir you do me great Honour. + +Hyd: +I am Sir, for my Taste in Public Diversions, honoured with the facetious +Appellation of the Town.-- but my real Name is Iack Hydra. for these +many Years, Sir, I have been the North Star of the Pit; by which All +Criticks have Steered their Iudgement: And am Sir at the Head of the +Genii who direct the Public,-- We decide between contending Toasts, pass +Iudgement upon Actors, damn, or encourage Authors; and are the Bucks, my +dear, that I fancy will do for you to Night. + +Pas: +Sir of the Infallibility and Power of the Town I am very well apprized; +therefore I have invited you this Night, that my Proceedings may have +the Sanction of your Approbation. for whatever the Town disapproves I +shall my self Condemn. + +Hyd: +But harkee Pasquin, prithy what is this Humbug. Bill of Yours about it; +Why how the Devil will you gett off your Promise of the Pit, Boxes, and +Galleries, performing their parts for their Diversion + +Pas: +As the Politicious say Sir, you are a little premature in your Question. +Puffing Sr: & the Drama have their Arcana's as well as Love or Politics. +I'll engage the Pit, Boxes, and Galleries perform their parts to a +Numerous and Polite Audience, and with Universal Applause. As soon as +they shall hear the Cue depend upon it you'll hear them Speak. + +Hyd: +Well Sir, Preliminaries being Settled I will now individually introduce, +to your censorial Highness, the Genii who are to Sit upon you. + +Pas: +Sir, I shall think my self highly honour'd in their Acquaintance. + +Omn: +(#within#) Where is he, where is he? what, upon the Stage, ha, ha, ha. +(#as they all press to come on Hydra stops them#) + +Hyd: +Nay, nay, softly, softly Gentlemen, & I'll Introduce You all if you will +have Patience! One at a time, You must come on but one at a time. + +Omn: +Ay, ay, one at a time, keep back, keep back; pray keep back; We shall +have the Audience hiss us. + + Enter Bob Smart. + +Hyd: +The first Character I have the Honour to introduce to your Highness is +the facetious Bob Smart, a professed Wit and Critic; no Man knows the +Intrigues of the Court, the Theatres, or the City better, No Man has a +finer Taste in the Belle' Letters, for he is deemed one of the best +Gentlemen Harlequins in Europe, and is an Emminent Orator at the Robin +Hood Society. + +Bob: +Yes, Seignior, I am little Bob Smart at your Service; did you ever hear +of me Abroad? + +Pas: +Often, often Sir. + +Bob: +I thought so; have you got ever a Harlequin in this Farce of yours, +Mr. Drawcansir? + +Pas: +No Sir. + +Bob: +Then you'll be damn'd Sir. by your Bills I thought there was a Pantomime +in it. I wish you had consulted me, I have wrote two-- And a Parcell of +us intend next Winter to have one of the Theatres, and to treat the +Public with the finest Pantomime that ever was seen, in Immitation of +the Gentlemen Who Play'd Othello. + +Omn: +Ha, ha, ha, Bravo, Bravo (_at the side of the Scenes_) + +Bob: +Don't you think it will exceed Othello? + +Pas: +Certainly Sir; and be a much more rational Entertainment, and what will +Shew your Genius to vast Advantage. + +Bob: +I am to do the Harlequin in it, tidi, doldi, doldi, doldi dee, tidi, +doldi, doldi, doldi dee (#Sings & dances the Harlequin.#) + +Omn: +Ha, ha, ha, ha, Bravo, Bravo. + +Bob: +Do you think that will do Seignior? + +Pas: +To Admiration. + +Bob: +I practice it three Hours evry Morning, but what is the Nature of this +Farce of yours? have you any Smart, ridiculous, droll Fellows in it ha! + +Pas: +No Sir. they are all polite, Sensible, decent, Characters such as yours! + +Bob. +Nay Igad if they are like me I'll engage they'll make the public +laugh.-- for by all that's drole I always Set the Coffee House in a Roar +when I am there, he! don't I Hydra. + +Hyd: +Why you are the very Yorick of the Age. + +Bob: +Igad I have more humour than Foot a thousand times; and I'll lay a +Chaldron of Guineas to a Nutshell that my Pantomime, is a better thing +than his Taste. I think I have some Fun in me demme. + +Hyd: +This Mr. Pasquin is the Noted Sr. Conjecture Possitive; a Gentleman who +was never in an Error in his Life,-- consequently cou'd never be +convinced. Sr. he understands Politics and Butterflies, Whale fishing +and Cricket, Fortification and Shittle Cock; Poetry and Wolf Dogs; in +short ev'ry thing, in ev'ry Art and Science, from a Pins Head, to the +Longitude & Philosopher's Stone, better than any Man in Europe. + +Sr. Con: +O Fye, Mr. Hydra, you are too lavish, Mr. Pasquin will think you are +imposing upon him. + +Hyd: +Sir, he has such Segacity and Penetration that he can decypher a Lady's +Affections, or a Statesman's Heart by a glance of the Eye; and has such +profound critical Knowledge that he can pronounce upon a New Play the +Moment he has heard the first Speech of it. + +Sr. Con: +Mr. Hydra is apt to think too well of his Friends Abilities Mr. +Pasquin;-- it is his Foible; But however, I have some knowledge-- I am +not in the common herd of Critics. I can give a tollerable Guess at most +of the Productions in Art and Nature. + +Pas: +I believe it Sir; for your Mein, & Countenance, Dress and mannor of +speaking, are an Index of Sagacity and Penetration. + +Sr. Con: +I shall give you my Opinion very freely; I know you intend to bring on +some particular Characters from Our End of the Town-- Capt. Crimp-- +Match Count Hunt-Bubble & that Knot-- To be sure they are all Sharpers, +and deserve to be exposed-- but, they are what are called Men of +Fashion-- You had better let them alone-- they are a Nest of Hornets-- +You may be Stung to death by them-- they'll damn your Piece if they can +do nothing else + + Enter Miss Bashfull. + +Pas: +Sir, I thank you for your Caution-- I shall Act with Prudence. + +Hyd: +This, Sir, is Miss Bashfull, who is under the Tuition of Miss Brilliant, +A Novice at present, but will in Time make a Shining Figure-- For She's +a Genius-- but not ripe yet. + +Bas. +I, I, I, I,-- Assure You Mr. Pasquin-- I-- I-- I am mightily pleased +with your Bill about A, a, aristo-- pha-- nes and-- Paskee-- in-- des. +and the Per-- oration, I reckon they are very Comical-- Your hble. Sr. + +Pas: +Your Servant Madam. + +Bash: +(#To Miss Brilliant#) Well I never Spoke to a Poet before! Lord how +frightened I was. + + Enter Miss Brilliant. + +Lord Mr. Hydra, I should laugh if the Audience shou'd take me for one of +the Actresses-- but if they do I don't care; for I am resolved I'll See +this Farce if I never See another. + +Hyd: +This Mr. Pasquin is the Sprightly Miss Brilliant, a Lady who pants to be +acquainted with you; She is intimate with Mr. Garrick-- is known to the +Fool, corresponds with Sir Alexander Drawcansir, and has writ several +Admired Inspectors. + +Brill: +Yes, Mr. Pasquin the World is kind enough to say my Friend Prometheus +has given me a little Flame, a small Portion-- A Spark-- A Ray of the +Etherial-- that's all. I wish you wou'd come and breakfast with me One +Morning. I wou'd shew you a little thing that wou'd please you, it is +but a Trifle;-- but it is neat-- something like Sapho-- a Ia ne se +quoi-- Do you know the Inspector. + +Pas: +No Madam. + +Brill: +Nor the Fool. + +Pas: +No Madam. + +Brill. +Nor Sir Alexander. + +Pas: +I am not so happy Madam. + +Brill. +I'll make them your Friends-- If I see them here to Night, I'll +Introduce them to you. I am intimate with all the Genii in Town. but +prithee what is this Piece of yours? it has excited vast Curiosity. Is +it after the Manner of Aristophanes-- or Fielding-- or Foot's Pieces-- +don't tell me-- I won't have my Pleasure Anticipated-- but I assure I +shall applaud-- I am mighty glad I don't know what it is-- It is much +pleasanter to be Surprized be it good or bad. + + Enter Sir Eternal Grin. + +Hyd: +This, Mr. Pasquin is Sir Eternal Grin. He is what is call'd a good +natured Man & extremely well bred-- So Polite he never frownd in his +Life. + +Grin. +No, never in my Life I assure you Mr. Pasquin. + +Hyd: +He is an uncommon Favourite with the Ladies, And is never so happy as +when they employ him. + +Grin. +No never Sir. ha, ha. + +Hyd: +His whole Life is spent in their Service, ev'ry Morning you may See him +running from Play House to Play House, regulating the Box Book in +Consequence of the Commissions he recieved over night for Places. that +done he hurrys away to mill their Chocolate, toast their Muffins, make +their Tea, and wait on them to the Mercers-- In the Evening you may See +him in every part of the Play-House, handing then in and Out, and +between every Act, whisking from Box to Box; whispering News and +Appointments. thence to half a dozen, Drums and Routs; where, after +loosing to them at Cards 'till two in the Morning, he has the happiness +of seeing the dear Creatures to their Chairs, and then goes home as +happy, as an Author after a Successfull first Night. + +Grin. +'Tis true Mr. Pasquin as Mr. Hydra says my whole Life is devoted to +the Service of the Fair. therefore I hope there is no Indelicacy, no +severity, Satyr, or Ridicule against them in your Piece. if there be you +must not take it Ill if I head a Party to damn it. ha, ha, ha. + +Pas. +Sir, I never Pollute my Productions with Invectives against the Fair. +I am to the best of my poor Abilities, their constant Advocate. he, he, +he, he. (#laughing & Mimicking him#). + +Grin. +Why then I am your Friend to perpetuity: as to other Characters you may +take what Liberty you please with them. there is Hydra an Admiral +Character-- he pretends to Taste-- but he is ignorant as-- dear Sir I +can furnish you with a thousand such ridiculous Wretches so that you +need not have recourse to the Ladies. + +Pas: +Sir I shall take particular Notice of Your Advice, and follow it +implicitly. and shall be Obliged to you for a few Characters. + +Grin. +I'll send them to you depend upon it, your Servant (#turns to the +Company#) this Pasquin is a very Sensible Fellow, and I believe will +Please the Public-- for he minds what the Iudicious say to him. + + Enter Sir Roger Ringwood. + +Sr. Rog: +Haux, haux, haux! hido, hido. Iack Hydra, yours.-- What is this ancient +Chorus begun yet? this Farce after the manner of Aristotle and all the +Heathen Gods.-- Zounds I am come twenty Miles, from a red-hot-Fox Chace, +on purpose to see it. What the Devil is this Hotch-Potch? a Pantomime, +or a Tragedy? I believe I shall Salute it with a Seranade-- tip it dead +Hollow Haux, haux, dead, dead, dead & damned-- but who is this Pasquin? + +Hyd: +If you please I'll introduce you to him. + +Sr. Rog: +With all my heart. + +Hyd: +Sir this is the famous Sr. Roger Ringwood. a five bottle Man I assure +you; remarkable for his Taste in dramatic Performances, & the loudest +Voice that ever damn'd a Play. + +Sr. Rog: +Hem (#Hems very loud#) yes I have pretty good Lungs. hido, hido! + +Hyd. +Sr: I have known him fright a whole Box of Ladies into Fits with One +blast of his Voice; drive the whole Party of an Author's Friends out of +the Pit, with the tremendous Courage of a few Oaths; and have frequently +heard him harangue an Audience on a first night with as much Applause as +every Tully did the Romans-- Sir Roger this is ye Celebrated Seignior +Pasquin. + +Sr. Rog: +Hum! dam me he looks like Mahomet Charratha going to dance the Rope. +harkee Seignior-- what is this Medley of yours? this Covent Garden +Theatre? Is it in Italian? + +Pas: +No, Sir. + +Sr. Rog: +In French? + +Pas: +Neither Sir. + +Sr. Rog: +Neither-- Why what the Devil Language is it in then? + +Pas: +English Sir. + +Sr. Rog: +English! Zounds I never heard of any English Farce with Greek Chorus's +before. I reckon it is damn'd low Stuff. + +Q Scrib: +That it is I'll answer for it before I see it. + +Sr. Rog: +Harkee, Seignor, be it Tragedy or Farce I don't Care a Hare's Scut, so +there is but Fun in it. but none of your French Fricassies according to +Rule! haux, haux, my honies; give us a fair Burst of Fun, my dear, & +we'll follow you for fifty nights end-ways, haux, haux, something of the +Antients now-- Something of a-- a-- old Shakespear, or Horace, or Homer, +or Ben Johnson, as they have at Drury Lane. do you hear-- Something that +way & I'll engage it takes. but if it is any of your New Moral Stuff, +according to Rule, I shall Tip it a dead Hollow, (#Hollows#) think of +that and be dull if you dare. + +Pas: +Certainly such a Iudicious Patron as Sr. Roger Ringwood, must inspire +both an Author and an Actor. + + Enter Miss Diana Single-Life. + +Hyd: +This is Miss Diana Single-Life, a maiden Lady of Youth, Beauty, +Chastity, & Erudition: who has read more Romances, Novels, Poems & +Plays, than there are Acts of Parliament in ye English Language. + +Diana: +Yes, Mr. Pasquin I may venture to say, with the Strictest Propriety, +that I have read as much as any Lady that has Existed in the Circle of +Literature.-- not the great Daicer excepted: but I hope Mr. Pasquin you +have nothing in your Exhibition that is Shocking to Chastity, no double +Entendres in your Examinations; If you have I shall certainly explode +them. You must know I was once perswaded to go to hear a Tryal for a +Rape-- I vow I blush at the bare mention of the Word-- what wou'd you +have of it-- in short I went;-- but I thought I shou'd have Swoon'd away +upon the Spot, the Tryal was so full of double Entendres, and what the +filthy Lawyers call-- Rems in Re-- -- + +Omn: +Ha, ha, ha, ha. + +Pas: +Madam, you may assure your self that the Virgin Particles of Your +Modesty shall never be Agitated by the Amorous Transparancy of Pasquin's +Obscenity. (#Mimicking her#) + +Hyd: +Look, look, if the impudent Rogue is not taking the Old Maid Off to her +face, & she does not See it. + +Omn: +Ha, ha, ha. + +Dia. +Sir, I am your humble-- + +Pas. +Your devoted-- + +Dia. +And immense Admirer. + +Pas. +And superlatively honour'd humble Servant. + + (#She is going to the Company but turns short to Pasquin#) + +Dia. +O Mr. Pasquin I had like to have forgot, I must give you a hint, as you +intend to Satyrize the vicious & the ridiculous, that may be useful to +you. that Lady You See there is the greatest Coquet in Town. She is the +Noted Miss Brilliant that is Supposed to be well with his Grace, and the +Old General-- there are several others talk'd of, but the World you know +is censorious-- Upon my Honour I don't believe any Body but his Grace +and the General ever had any Connexion with her. + +Pas. +Your Ladyship is very tender in thinking so-- but it is certain Sir +Harry and she were least together in a Bagnio one Masquerade Night. + +Dia. +Why, that I knew to be true, Mr. Pasquin, but I did not care to say all +I know, because I wou'd not be thought Censorious-- that Young Lady with +her, Miss Bashful, has a very fine Boy at Nurse, above half a year Old. +but very few Knew any thing of it.-- And she is now going to be marry'd +to the North Country Knight-- It wou'd be pity to speak of it-- She will +pass upon him-- he's a very great Blockhead and She is good enough for +him-- For he was not born in Wedlock himself. + +Pas. +They will be a very proper Match, Madam. + +Dia. +Most proper, Your humble Servant Seignior. + +Pas. +Your Lordships most Obedient. + +Hyd. +This, Mr. Pasquin, is a plain honest Citizen. He is called honest +Solomon Common Sense; If you can please him, and make him Your friend, +he can influence a large Number in your Favour; which will be of more +Service to you than the Approbation of all the Pitt-- Maitres, Critics, +and Wou'd-be Witts, from St. James's to White Chappel. + +Pas. +I have often heard of the Gentleman, he is in great Esteem amongst Our +best Critics abroad, and I shall make it my particular Study to merit +his Approbation. + +Com. +Mr. Pasquin you have it already. I like your manner of exposing the +Follies of the Public extremely. Your making the Theatre the Scene of +Action, and the Censure and Approbation of the Audience the Chorusses to +your Characters upon the Stage, is quite New, and very happily +immagin'd. But now you have made us acquainted with your Characters. +I think the sooner you throw them into Action and come to a Conclusion +the better. + +Pas. +Sir your Criticism is very just; And if Marforio is return'd I will +proceed to an Examination of the Culprits and close for this night. +(#Goes to ye side of the Scene#) Promptor, is Marforio come back? + +Prom. +No Sir. + +Pas. +Gentlemen & Ladies, I cannot possibly proceed till he returns. I reckon +he will be here in about five Minutes; till then I shall take it as a +Favour if you will step into the Green Room; and, in the mean time The +Musick, by way of Act Tune, may play God save Great George Our King, to +keep the Audience in Humour. + +Omn: +Admirable! with all Our Hearts. God save the King. (#Ext Singing God +save Great George#) + + + + +Act. 2. + +Enter. All the Characters. + + +Pas. +Gentlemen and Ladies, pray take Your Places, and now Marforio make your +return. + +Mar. +Why, this being Masquerade Night there are no Drums or Routs. So we have +taken up but a very few-- But, as I return'd me Guide led me to the +other Play House, from whence, by the unanimous Consent of the Audience +I have brought away a disorderly Lady. + +Pas. +Produce her. + + Marforio brings on Miss Giggle. + +Miss Brill. +Miss Giggle as I live, dear Creature what brings you here? + +Gig. +This Exotic Gentleman, by an Authority from Apollo, as he says---- + +Omn. +Ha, ha, ha, ha. + +Pas. +Pray what is the Lady's Offence? + +Mar. +Disturbing the Audience. + +Pas. +In what manner. + +Gig. +Why, I'll tell you Mr. Pasquin. You must know the Play was a Tragedy; +and several of the Audience were ridiculous enough to cry at it-- And so +Sr. Charles Empty and I were diverting Our selves with laughing at the +various Strange Tragical Faces the Animals, exhibited, that's all. + +Omn. +Ha, ha, ha, ha. + +Gig. +Upon this the Goths fell a hissing-- & cry'd out-- out-- out-- + +Sr. Eter. +O the Savages! + +Mar. +But there is a further Charge against this Lady; She is said to be a +common Nusance at the Theatres; and that She frequently Sets the whole +House in a Titter to the Confusion of the Actors, & the general +disturbance of the Audience, by constantly exposing her Nudities to +Publick View, contrary to the Ideas of female Modesty, and the Laws of +Decency. + +Miss Dy. +O fye Seignior, how can you make use of so indelicate an Expression. +A Lady's Nudities, why, you might as well have said-- I vow it is almost +plain English, I protest such an Expression is enough to get your Farce +hiss'd off the Stage-- + +Pas. +I am extremely Sorry the Phrase offends your Ladyship, but if you will +Substitute any other. + +Dia. +I think Mr. Drawcansir when those Objects are to be expos'd that-- +a Lady's Proturberances, her Snow balls, or her Lover's Amusements-- +wou'd be much more delicate. + +Sr. Rog. +You are very right Madam, and if they happen to be of the immense kind-- +Cupid's Kettle Drums Mr. Pasquin, wou'd not be an-- unelegant Phrase, +ha, ha, ha. + +Omn. +Ha, ha, ha, ha. + +Pas. +Your Ladyship is quite right, go on with the Charge. + +Mar. +That the moment this Lady appears in the Boxes the grave part of the +fair Sex are seen to put their Fans before their Faces; and are heard to +whisper one another-- Lud what an indecent Sight Miss Giggle's Neck is-- +It is really quite obscene! I wonder somebody does not tell her of it, +then the Men, they are all in a high Grin; and the Smarts are frequently +heard to roar out-- O Gad-- they are ravishingly White, and smooth as +polish'd Marble! + +Dia. +Mr. Pasquin observing upon the whiteness or smoothness of a Lady's +Circumstances is not so Chaste as I cou'd wish. + +Pas. +Your Ladyship is in the Right, pray omit those Amorous Exclamations; for +tho' they may be the genuin Language of the Smarts, and may be thought +Wit and Humour amongst themselves, yet upon the Stage such warm +Expressions will be Condemned. + +Gig. +Well, Mr. Pasquin, what is Your Highness's Censure upon this dreadfull +Affair. ha, ha, ha. + +Pas. +Upon my word Madam, I see no Crime in a desire to please; which I +suppose was Your Ladyship's Motive. on the Contrary, I have always heard +it asserted by the Iudicious in dress, that a fine Woman can never shew +too much-- + +Gig. +Sir I am infinitely Obliged to you, (#bowing very low#) for your +Compliment. + +Dia. +Mr. Pasquin, you will forfeit my good Opinion-- I assure you, if you +encourage such proceedings. This Lady's indecency is remarkable, and, +for public Example, you ought to have Satyriz'd her severely; for there +are a Set of them go about on purpose to Exhibit as the Men Phrase it. + +Sr. Rog. +You are very right Madam and if there be not a stop put to it, they may +in time become Adamites, and go without so much as a Fig leaf. + +Pas. +It is a very great Offence against the Laws of Decency to be sure Madam, +and in my next Piece I shall give the Coquets no Quarter.-- Your next +Culprit Marfario. + +Mar. +I as Extraordinary a ffigure as ever was Exhibited upon a Theatre. here, +Desire that naked Lady to walk in. + +Dia. +O Heav'ns! a naked Lady:-- Why sure Mr. Pasquin, you don't mean to +expose such an Object. + +Sr. Rog. +Zounds, let her come in. + +Omn. +Ay, ay, produce her, produce her. + +Sr. Rog. +Lets have her. lets have her! of all things let us have a naked Lady-- +If she be-- handsome Pasquin I'll engage your Farce runs a hundred +Nights-- I'll hold a Hogshead of Claret to a Gill, she pleases more than +the Ostrich. + +Sr. Et: +Why, Mr. Pasquin, you will frighten all the Ladies out of the Boxes. +I see several of them now that are ready to faint at the bare Idea of a +naked Object. + +Pas. +You need not fear Sr. Eternal, there shall be nothing exhibited by me +offensive to decency or Modesty! Pray lett the Lady walk in, she will be +the best Apology for the Expression. + + Enter. Lady Lucy Loveit in a Venetian mask, dress'd in a very short + Pet: en l'air Slippers, no Stays, her Neck bare, in a Compleat + Morning Dress of a very high-bread Woman of Quality. + +Ly. Lucy. +Iack Hydra (#running up to him#) do you know me? Miss Brilliant Your +Servant-- what you are come to see the New Farce? you never miss a first +Night I think-- well what is to become of poor Pasquin, damn'd I +Suppose. + +Brill. +Inevitably Madam unless the Spirit of your Character saves him. + +Ly. Lucy. +O your Servant Madam-- Miss Giggle shall wee see you at the Masquerade +to Night? + +Gigg. +Certainly-- who can She be? She is very elegantly dress'd. + +Hyd. +By all that's whimsical it is Lady Lucy, come, come, unmask, unmask, +there is no veiling the Sun. + +Ly. Lucy. +O you fulsome Creature [#she unmasks#] from what Antiquated Romance did +you Steal that vile Compliment. + +Omn. +Lady Lucy. + +Ly. Lucy. +Ladies your Servant. do you know that I am immensly delighted at meeting +so much good Company here? + +Hyd: +You dear Romantic Angel, what brought you hither thus equipt? + +Ly. Lucy. +My dear, I am dress'd for the Masquerade; and was just Steping into my +Chair to go to Lady High-Lifes; who Sees Masks to night, when this +worthy Weight, with great Civility, told me he had a Warrant from Apollo +to take up all disorderly Persons, and said I must go before Monsieur +Drawcansir, the Censor of Great Britain. + +Omn. +Ridiculous. + +Ly. Lucy. +I was pleas'd with the Conceit; so hither I am come to attend his +Worship. + +Hyd. +You dear Wild Creature. + +Ly. Lucy. +Have you had any Sport. + +Hyd. +Infinite-- we have had such hissing, and clapping and laughing-- poor +Pasquin has been roasted devilishly. + +Ly. Lucy. +O Lud, I am Sorry for that. prithee introduce me to him. + +Hyd. +Mr. Pasquin your Friend Marforio was mistaken in this Lady; she is a +Woman of Fashion, the Celebrated Lady Lucy Loveit, who has made great +part of the Tour of Europe in Cavalier. + +Pas. +Sir I have had the Honour of seeing the Lady Abroad, the last time I +perform'd upon the Italian Theatre in Paris. + +Ly. Lucy. +Well Mr. Pasquin, tho' I am brought before you, As an Offender, I am +vastly glad to see you in England. perhaps they may not relish you at +first but I am sure you will take when once the Canaille come to +understand you. I'll send you a thousand Anecdotes of my own +Acquaintance. I will let you into the Secrets of every Intrigue, Family, +and Character, from Pall. Mall to Grosvenor Square. + +Pas. +That will hit my plans exactly, Madam. + +Ly. Lucy. +I know it will [#whispers to him#] let me tell you there are some +Characters present wou'd make Admirable Sport upon the Stage. there is +Miss Single-Life, that pretended Old Maid is an immense fine one. I can +give you all the Out-lines & some of the most glaring Colours of her +Character. + +Pas. +Madam, I shall take it as a Singular Favour. + +Ly. Lucy. +I'll give it aloud before her Face, as of another Person, Mr. Pasquin. + +Pas. +O dear Madam, that will be vastly kind, and quite polite. + +Ly. Lucy. +Miss Dy-- My dear, I am going to describe a Character to Seignior +Pasquin for his next piece. + +Dia. +Madam, the Company will be ineffably Oblig'd to you. + +Ly. Lucy. +You must know, my dear, the History of the Lady is this-- Her Intellects +are as odd and as aukward as her Person; her mind a Composition of +Hypocrisy and Vanity; her Head, like the Study of Don Quixot, Stuffed +with the exploded-- Romances-- of the two last Centuries-- her Style the +quaint Quintessence of Romantic Fustian, and her Manners those of a +Princess in an Inchanted Castle. + +Omn. +Ha, ha, ha, ha. + +Dia. +Your Ladyship has a most masterly Hand in Colouring. + +Ly Lucy. +The vain Creature endeavours to pass upon the World for five and +twenty-- A Maid & Strictly Virtuous-- but is fifty at least-- grey as a +Badger-- has had three Children-- one by her Coachman-- One by a Horse +Granadier-- and one by her present Friend-- the tall Straping Irishman, +whom they call the Captain. ha, ha, ha. + +Omn. +Ha, ha, ha, ha. + +Hyd. +My dear Lady Lucy, you are the very Hogarth of Ridicule, there is no +mistaking the-- Original [#apart#] see, see poor Miss Dy. how She Miffs. +the strapping Irishman was too plain. + +Omn. +Ha, ha, ha, ha, O too plain, too plain. + +Ly. Lucy +Not in the least, it will give the Old Lady a Complexion, She wants it, +besides I was Indebted to her, for a full length She gave of me the +other Day, to a Country Gentlewoman at Lady Tattle-Tongues + +Miss Dia. +There is no being blind to this. I must return the Civility [#aside#] +And pray Mr. Pasquin let me recommend a Character to Your Worship. + +Hyd. +Ay, now, now for it Lady Lucy, She'll [#apart#] draw your Likeness. + +Ly. Lucy. +Sir, She has my leave, tho' She had the Talents of a Brugier with the +Ill nature of a Swift. + +Miss Dia. +The Character I mean Sir, is not immaginary, invented by Slander and +Malice, but a true Copy of a universally known Original, which is a +trifling, wanton femal Rake: composed of Folly, rudeness, and Indecency. +whose Vanity is in pursuit of ev'ry Fellow of Fashion She Sees, and +whose Life is a continual Round of vain Inconstancy. + +Omn. +Ha, ha, ha, ha. + +Ly Lucy. +Very good out-lines upon Honour-- I fancy her Malice will Stir up some +tollerable Ideas-- pray proceed Madam, ha, ha, ha, [#_laughing +ridiculously & mimick'd by the other_#] + +M. Dia. +Ha, ha, ha, O Lud Madam, I intended it-- I shall finish up the Picture +to a perfect Resemblance, you may depend upon it. ha, ha, ha, ha. + +Ly Lucy. +Well, you are an agreeable, young, blooming, giddy Creature; and really +Miss your little-- youthfull prettiness becomes you. But Miss Dy-- the +Charactor, the Charactor-- come I'll Sit for you; to quicken your +Ideas-- you left off at vain Inconstancy. + +Miss Dia. +I did so Madam-- and I will take it up at her affected Taste and +Politeness if you please which Consist in praising ev'ry thing that's +Foreign and in constantly ridiculing the Customs and Manners of her own +Country tho' She herself is the most ridiculous Objection in the Nation. +ha, ha. + +Omn. +Ha, ha, ha, ha. + +Ly. Lucy. +Admiral! I vow Miss Dy. You have a very Lively Immagination-- at your +Years, ha, ha, ha-- and very Charecteristic. I am amazed You never writ +a Comedy. ha-- ha-- ha-- ha. + +Miss Dia. +When I do Madam, You may be sure I shall enliven it with Lady Lucy +Loveit's Character. + +Ly. Lucy. +She will be vastly Oblig'd to you-- for you will certainly do it great +Iustice. + +Sr. Rog. +Zounds Ladies have done with Your abuse and let the Farce go on; It was +funny enough at First, but you continue it too long. + +Com. +Sir Roger is Right Mr. Pasquin; you have made your Ladies talk too much. +and their Raillery was a little to plain. + +Pas. +I did that Sir on purpose to preserve a consistency of Character; for I +thought it impossible, when Ladies were in a view of Slander, to make +them Speak too plain, or too much. + + #Count Hunt-Bubble behind ye Scenes# + +Count. +Where is the Scoundrell? damn me, I'll break the Rascal's Head. + +Officer. +Knock him down-- knock him down-- take away his Sword-- take away his +Sword. + +Pas. +Some Quarrell I apprehend. + +Count. +You Scoundrells, I am a Gentleman, and I'll run the first Man through +that Offers to lay hold on me. + +Dia. +O Lud I am afraid there will be somebody kill'd. + +Pas. +I beg Pardon-- We must Stop for a moment, something extraordinary has +happen'd-- I'll go See what it is-- Possibly Some Quarrel behind the +Scenes [#Ex: Pas.#] + +Count. +How dare You-- You Rascal-- A Lady's Character-- knock him down-- I'll +teach him to bring Gentlemen's Character upon the Stage. + +Pas. +Pray Sir hear me,-- I have not done it. + +Count. +Knock him down; beat him to Mummy. + + Enter Pasquin disorder'd and Bloody. + +Pas. +Gentlemen, I hope you'll protect me-- You See how I am us'd. + +Omn. +What's the matter, what's the matter? + +Pas. +Why a Madman, being Spirited on by three or four Gamesters, drew his +Sword upon me, and says I ought to be run through the Body, for bringing +Gentlemen and Ladies' Characters upon the Stage. + +Hyd: +Do you know the Gentleman? + +Pas. +Very well Sir; he is one Mr Strictland of Somersetshire + +Hyd. +Why the Man's mad-- Was it he wounded You? + +Pas. +No Sir, it was a Gentleman that is with Him, whom they call the Count, +a great Gamester + +Hyd. +You shou'd have him Secur'd. + +Pas. +He is in Custody Sir. + +Sr. Rog. +Zounds let us have him brought before the Town. + +Pas. +Indeed, if I thought the Audience wou'd not be displeas'd at it, I wou'd +bring him on, and expose him; for he is a common Gamester, tho' he +pretends to be a Man of Fashion. + +Hyd. +I dare say the Audience will be glad, and will like the Fun of It. + +Pas. +What do you Say Gentlemen? shall I bring him on? If you say the Word, +I'll have him examin'd upon the Stage, before you all. + +Sr. Rog. +Zounds, we are the Town, and we will have him on, whether you will +or no. + +Omn. +Ay, ay, on, on, on, on, on. + +Pas. +Gentlemen-- I thank you; Did not I tell you Mr. Hydra, that they wou'd +Act their Parts with Universal Applause. Why Sir, the French Pit, Boxes, +and Galleries, are nothing to the English for vivacity & Spirit, they +cou'd not have Perform'd their Parts with half this Fun and good Humour. +This now, Gentlemen is after the manner of Aristophanes, and the Italian +Pasquinades. (Exit Pasquin) + + Enter Pasquin immediately with Count Hunt-Bubble in Mourning. + +Pas. +Sir you shall come before the Audience. + +Count. +Why, you Rascal, do you think I am afraid. Gentlemen and Ladies Your +Servant [#bowing to the Audience#] I is a Fellow to be Countenanced in +bringing Gentlemen's Characters upon the Stage. + +Pas. +I am sure Sir, I shall be Iustifiable in bringing you upon the Stage. +And so I have ye Approbation of the Town, I don't value what You or any +Sharpor can do to me. + +Count. +Who Says I am a Sharpor. + +Pas. +The whole City of Westminster; By whom, Sir, amongst many others, You +are Presented as a Nusance. + +Gentlemen, I have a Petition here, in my hand, against him and several +others, that will raise the utmost Indignation in every hones Breast-- +Which, with leave of the Audience, I will read. Is it Your Pleasure that +I shou'd read it. + +Omn. +Ay, ay, read it, read it. + + To his most Equitable & Satyrical Worship, Seignior Pasquin. Censor + of Great Britain. + + The humble Petition of Lord Love-Play, in Behalf of Himself and + many others. + + Sheweth. + + "That your Petitioners were, by Descent, the lawful Inheritors of + very great Fortunes; But, by the Arts and Combinations of the Noted + Hunt-Bubble, and the Knot-- And, by what is commonly called Playing + all the Game, Your Petitioners have been stript of their large + Possessions to the utter Ruin of themselves and their distressed + Families. + + "That your Petitioners, who once made the most Splendid Appearance + at New Market, Whites, Georges, Bath, Tunbridge, and all Public + Places, are now in the most deplorable Condition. + + "From these Premises, Your Petitionors humbly pray that Your + Equitable Worship will take their distress'd State into + Consideration, and Decree such Redress as to Your Satyrical + Worship shall seem meet-- + + "And your bubbled Petitioners shall ever pray." + +Com. +Mr. Pasquin, your bringing such Men to Iustice, is a Public good, and +deserves Public Thanks. They are Charactors that all Men destest, and +that all Men wish to See punish'd. + +Pas. +Sir you don't know half the Villany of these Men. Play, in its most +Honourable Commerce, is a pernicious Vice, but as Luxury, Fashion and +Avarice, have improved it all over Europe, It is now become an avow'd +System of Fraud and Ruin. The virtuous and Honourable, who Scorn +Advantage, are a constant Prey to the vicious and dishonourable, who +never Play without one. nor does the Vice Stop here: For the Sharper +having Stript his Bubble of his Estate, he next Corrupts his Mind, by +making him a Decoy-Duck, in Order to retrieve his Fortune as he lost It. +And, from an indegent Virtuous Bubble, the Noble Youth becomes an +Affluent vicious Sharper. + +Com. +The Observation, is but too true; And it is Pity the _Ligislature_ do +not contrive some Speedy Method to put an Effectual Stop to such impious +Practices. + +Pas. +Thus, instead of Virtue, Honour and Noble Sentiments being Sown in the +Minds of Youth they are tainted with Fraud and Treachery; and those, +who should be the Support and Ornament of their Country, are the +Confederates of Men, who would be a disgrace to the worst of Countries, +in its worst of Times. + +Omn. +Bravo, bravo, Pasquin, go on, go on [#they Applaud him#] + +Smart. +Does he not speak very well Hydra! I think he would make a good Figure +at the Robin Hood Society. + +Count. +Sr, You grow licentious and Attack the whole Body of Nobility. and what +you have uttered is a Libell. + +Pas. +Sr. it is You that Libel by your Application my Charge is not against +any particular Person, Degree, Rank, or Set of Men, but against known +Profess'd Sharpers; Who, under the Mask of Honour, Amusement and +Friendship, dayly Commit Crimes that deserve the Hangman's lash rather +than the Satyrist's. + +Mar. +Gentlemen, this Invective is most unjust, and as I am Council on the +Side of Count Hunt-bubble and Company, I hope you will indulge me a +moment, while I explain what the Law of Parnassus is in these Cases. + +Omn. +Hear him, hear him, go on, go on. + +Mar. +In the Records of that State, the Act of Gaming is not deem'd a Crime, +but a Science. For the famous Barron de Frippon, in his Institutes, Fol: +1st Chap: 3. P. 17, justly calls it the Noble Science of Defence. which +is as necessary to be Study'd by the Nobility of ev'ry Nation, as the +Small Sword, or the Art of War. + +Count. +You are right Marforio-- for Gaming is an Absolute State of War; In +which ev'ry Man must kill or be kill'd; Consequently all Advantages are +Justified by the Law of Self Defence. + +Omn. +Go on Marforio. + +Mar. +Gentlemen. The wise Spartans, as an Encouragement to Ingenuity, always +reward the thieving Genius, who came off unsuspected, and punish'd the +Blockhead who had not Sufficient Art to Conceal his Theft, In Parnussus +the Law is the same relating to Frauds in Play; Tho' it is notorious +that this Gentleman has Play'd the best of the Game a thousand times, +yet it does not Appear that he has ever been detected in a fraud. + +Count. +Never, but once, I assure you: and then I instantly Challeng'd the Man, +who charg'd me with it, ran him three times through the Body, disarm'd +him, made him beg his Life, and ask my Pardon in Public and ever since +no Man has dared to Whisper a Suspicion of me. + +Mar. +O it's plain the Gentleman's Character is untainted, and has a Right to +Rank as a Man of Honour and a Genius-- and, instead of Censure, is +intitled to the Order of the Chevaliers de Aventuries-- with which, Sir, +you shall be Strait invested. + +Here! Order Sr. Iohn Ketch to attend with the Insignia of Gaming, and +let him invest the Noble Count. + + Enter Sr. Iohn Ketch, with a Rope and a Dice Box fasten'd to it as + a George, and dice in the Box, and a Knave of Diamonds in his Hand. + +Sr. Iohn. +Please to kneel Sir [#To Count bubble who kneels#] I, Sr. Iohn Ketch, +Knight, and Officer of Parnassus, by Virtue of a Power from Appollo, +In Consideration of your Subtle and undetectable deceit in the Noble +Science of Defence, vulgarly call'd Sharping, do invest You With these +Insignia-- Which are a Ribbon of the Genuin Tyburn garotte, with a Box +Pendant, two loaded Dice, and a Knave of Diamonds for a Star; bearing +henceforth, the Arms of Gaming, which are, a Pack of Cards in a Green +Field; two reoin'd Lords for Supporters, a Cat and nine Tails for a +Crest and, I have touch'd them for a motto; So rise up Count Hunt. +bubble, Marquiss of Slip Card, Barron de Pharo-Bank, and Knight of the +Noble Order of Sharpors. + +Omn. +Bravo, bravo (#all Clap#) + +Count. +Seignior Marforio, The Honours you have Conferr'd Me, will bind me Your +Friend everlastingly. If you call upon me any Evening at the Bedford, +I shall be glad to See you. To night I am engaged to deal at my Lady +High-life's;-- His Grace and Miss will be there, and we expect to touch +roundly. Yours, Yours + +Exit + +Omn. +Ha, ha, ha. + +Hyd. +An Admiral Reward for his Ingenuity. + +Sr. Eter. +Extremely ridiculous I vow; and very Iust. + +Pas. +Have you any more Offenders to Produce. + +Mar. +No more-- But here is a Presentment against one Charles Macklin, +Comedian, of the Theatre Royal in Covent Garden. + +Omn. +Ha, ha, ha, O pray let us hear that. + +Pas. +The Substance of it is, That he hath written a strange hotch-potch +Farce, and puff'd it upon the Town as written after the manner of +Aristophanes and the Pasquinades of the Italian Theatre.-- Gentlemen, +This is an Affair entirely Cognizable to the Town; All I can Say upon it +is, That, if you Condemn him, I will take Care the Blockhead shall never +trouble you again-- In the manner of Aristophanes. + +Omn. +Ay, ay, damn him, Damn him. + +Omn. +No, no, Save him, save him. + +Pas. +Well Gentlemen, since you are divided we must respit Sentence till +he appears in Person the next Court day. Gentlemen and Ladies, Our +Examinations are over for to Night. We must adjourn, for I am afraid we +have detain'd the Town too long. + +Hyd. +Mr. Pasquin, You have Satyrized Your Sharpor with great Humour and +Propriety. And I like the Choice of several of your Characters very +well. But I am afraid the Critics will Condemn Your Piece for want of a +Plot + +Bob. +Very true, You shou'd have had a Plot Pasquin. + +Pas. +Bless me Gentlemen! I am amaz'd at this Criticism. I expected great +Approbation for the Newness and Dexterity of my Plot. + +Hyd. +Ay! pray what is the Plot? + +Pas. +I thought, by this time that it was known to ev'ry Person in the +Audience. The Plot Sir, is, the filling of this House-- don't you see +how thick it is. + +Hyd. +Ha, ha, ha, ha, very well, and now it is unravelled; extremely Clear! +a very good Plott I protest. + +Omn. +O very Clear, very clear. + +Dia. +But Mr. Pasquin, You have no love, nor Marriage in Your Farce; that is a +fault, a very great fault. + +Pas. +Madam, I have vast Quantity of Love in It, as much as wou'd make half a +dozen modern Romances; But I was advised, by some Dramatick Friends, +not to let it appear too soon. For Love, in a Farce, they said, was +generally very dull, and what the English Audience always Complain'd of. +But now we are come to unravel the Plot-- It must be known, that Lady +Lucy, Mr. Hydra, Sir Eternal, Miss Brilliant, and all the Characters, +have a most Passionate Tendre for each other, and have Privately agreed +that this shall be the Happy Night. And, as to a Wedding, I have taken +particular Care of that, for among the disorderly Persons that were +Seized, by mistake, they have taken up a Gentleman that lives near May +Fair, who waits in the Green Room to Sign the Passport of each loving +Pair to The land of Hymen. And this, I think, is as much Love, Plot and +Marriage, as is necessary in any Farce. + +Hyd. +Upon Honour, I am of your Opinion Mr. Pasquin. And I like your +Catastrophes extremely. Mr. Common Sense, what is your Opinion? + +Com. +For my part Sir, I am pleased with the whole Piece, and think the +Critics, in particular, must approve of it highly; As it is written up +to the Strictest Nicety of Dramatic Rules. Against the next Night, Mr. +Pasquin, you must omit, or alter some exceptionable Expressions, And, if +you were to prune a few Redundances, the whole Piece wou'd be the better +for it. + +Pas. +Your Criticism, Mr. Common Sense, is always Iust, and I shall implicitly +observe it. + +Com. +And now, Mr. Pasquin, the sooner you come to your Peroration the better. + +Omn. +Ay, ay, the Peroration, the Peroration-- come, Mount the Rostrum, Mr. +Pasquin. The Rostrum, the Rostrum,-- bring on the Rostrum. bring on the +Rostrum! + + The Rostrum is brought on. + + Pasquin Ascends. + +Pas. +Most August, Respectable, and Tremendous Public! whose Power is as +uncontrolable as the Boundless Winds, whose Iudgement infalable as +opposeless Fate, Whom Party cannot Sway, Fear Intimidate, Flattery +influence, nor Interest byass. You are each in the art of Government, +a Lycurgus; in the Art of War, a Caesar; In Criticism an Aristotle; +In Eloquence a Tully; In Patronage a Mecenas; In Taste and Elegance, +a Patronius. + +Hyd. +Harkee, harkee, Domine Pasquin, this Panegerick is quite out of +Character, and Shews great Ignorance of the People You are Addressing. +For know Sir, that the British Public has too much Dignity and Sense, +either to give, or to recieve, Flattery. Your best way of gaining their +Esteem, is by preserving Your Character, to the last, of a General +Satyrist my Dear, not. by degenerating to a Public Sycophant. + +Pas. +I am afraid Sir, I have been too free of my Satyr already. + +Com. +Not at all Sir.-- while it is General and Circumscribed by decency, +it cannot be too strong for the English. For Our Wit, Sir, like Our +Courage, knows no danger, Spares no Character. + +Bob. +Right, Right-- Dem me, my dear give us Satyr, keen cutting Satyr, that's +what Pleases Us-- And as to Your Panegeric, take that to Madrid or +Paris. + +Com. +Mr. Pasquin, the Public know they have Follies, as well as Individuals; +and, so far from being Angry with the Man, who ridicules them, they +always reward him with Approbation and Esteem. + +Pas: +Why then Sir, under the Protection of the Town, and the Patronage of +Common Sense, I will, like a faithfull Painter, not a modern Dedicator, +finish up the Blemishes as highly as I have the Beauties of my Patron. + +Bob. +Ay, now, now for the Town, I should be glad to see our own blind side. +be sure to be Severe, give us no Quarter. + +Pas. +I shall not Sir-- You, the Town, are a Monstor, made up of +Contrarieties, Caprice Steers-- Steers your Iudgement-- Fashion and +Novelty, Your Affections; Sometimes so Splenitic, as to damn a Cibber, +and, even a Congreve, in the Way of the World;-- And some times so +good-Natured as to run in Crowds after a Queen Mab, or a Man in a +Bottle. + +Hyd. +Why, the Town are a little whimsical sometimes I believe? I beg pardon +Mr. Pasquin for breaking in upon You. + +Pas. +O no Offence, Sir, the Town has always a right to interrupt, and disturb +a Performance. It is their Prerogative, and shews their Taste and their +good Breeding + +Hyd. +You are right-- go on, go on,-- a good Sensible Fellow, and knows the +Right and Privilege of the Town, go on, go on. + +Pas. +You are a Being, composed of all the Virtues and Vices, Wisdom and Folly +of Human Nature. All Men dread you; all Men Court you; All Men love +You-- and yet All Men strive to be independent of You. For you are so +inconsistent, that you are Constant in nothing, but Inconstancy---- So +good Natur'd, so techy, so wise-- and sometimes so otherwise-- In Short, +so much every thing, that were the whole Sisterhood of the imitative +Arts in emulous Association joyn'd, with the Genius of your own Great +Shakespear at their Head, Directing their different Powers, and wing his +own boundless Imagination into Satyr and Panegirick for the Purpose-- +They could not be too Severe upon Your Vices-- nor could they do Iustice +to your Matchless Virtues. + +Omn. +Bravo, bravo Pasquin. + +Bob. +A very good Peroration upon Honour; I believe he Stole it from the Robin +Hood Society + +Pas. +Gratitude and Public Spirit, are the two Noblest Passions, that ever +warm'd the Heart of Man, or fired the Poets Imagination. They Should be +the Springs of every Public Character, and are this Night of Pasquin. +inspired by them he has dar'd laugh at Female Folly and to lash a Noble +Vice that Lords it in Our most Polite Assemblies. For which, he who was +late a Iudge and Public Censor in turn, now trembles at Your dread +Tribunal. The first and last Appeal of Players, Poets, Statesmen, +Fidlers, Fools, Philosophers and Kings. If, by the boldness of his +Satyr, or the daring Novelty of his Plan and Fable, He has offended, He +ought to meet with some degree of Candour, as his Offence was the Effect +of a Noble Gratitude, and an Over-heated Zeal to Please His Noble Guests +& Patrons, whom he Scorn'd to treat with Vulgar Cates Season'd and +Serv'd with Flattery and Common Dramatic Art. For this boldness of his +Satyr, this is his Defence-- But, for his dulness, he has no Plea. If +You Almighty Arbiters find him guilty of that Offence, censure him as +freely as he has censured others. And, like the Roman Censor, he will +cry out with Patriot Ioy, What Pity 'tis, a Blockhead can be damn'd but +once, to Please the Critics. + + +Finis. + + + + +THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY + + _WILLIAM ANDREWS CLARK MEMORIAL LIBRARY_ + University of California, Los Angeles + + +PUBLICATIONS IN PRINT + + [Where available, Project Gutenberg e-text numbers are given in + brackets.] + + +1948-1949 + +15. John Oldmixon, _Reflections on Dr. Swift's Letter to Harley . . ._ +(1712) and _A. Mainwaring's The British Academy . . ._ (1712). [25091] + +17. Nicholas Rowe, _Some Account of the Life of Mr. William Shakespeare_ +(1709). [16275] + + +1949-1950 + +22. Samuel Johnson, _The Vanity of Human Wishes_ (1749), and two +_Rambler_ papers (1750). [13350] + +23. John Dryden, _His Majesties Declaration Defended_ (1681). [15074] + + +1950-1951 + +26. Charles Macklin, _The Man of the World_ (1792). [14463] + + +1951-1952 + +31. Thomas Gray, _An Elegy Wrote in a Country Churchyard_ (1751), and +_The Eton College Manuscript_. [15409] + + +1960-1961 + +85-6. Essays on the Theatre from Eighteenth-Century Periodicals. + +90. Henry Needler, _Works_ (1728). + + +1961-1962 + +93. John Norris, _Cursory Reflections Upon a Book Call'd, An Essay +Concerning Human Understanding_ (1960) + +94. An. Collins, _Divine Songs and Meditacions_ (1653). [In +Preparation] + +95. _An Essay on the New Species of Writing Founded by Mr. Fielding_ +(1751). + +96. Hanoverian Ballads. + + +1962-1963 + +97. Myles Davies, Selections from _Athenae Britannicae_ (1716-1719). + +98. _Select Hymns Taken Out of Mr. Herbert's Temple_ (1697). + +99. Thomas Augustine Arne, Artaxerxes (1761). + +100. Simon Patrick, _A Brief Account of the New Sect of Latitude Men_ +(1662). + +101-2. Richard Hurd, _Letters on Chivalry and Romance_ (1762). + + +1963-1964 + +103. Samuel Richardson, _Clarissa: Preface, Hints of Prefaces, and +Postscript._ [29964] + +104. Thomas D'Urfey, _Wonders in the Sun, or, the Kingdom of the Birds_ +(1706). + +105. Bernard Mandeville, _An Enquiry into the Causes of the Frequent +Executions at Tyburn_ (1725). [In Preparation] + +106. Daniel Defoe, _A Brief History of the Poor Palatine Refugees_ +(1709). + +107-8. John Oldmixon, _An Essay on Criticism_ (1728). [In Preparation] + + +1964-1965 + +109. Sir William Temple, _An Essay upon the Original and Nature of +Government_ (1680). + +110. John Tutchin, _Selected Poems_ (1685-1700). [_In Preparation_] + +111. Anonymous, _Political justice. A Poem_ (1736). + +112. Robert Dodsley, _An Essay on Fable_ (1764). + +113. T. R., _An Essay Concerning Critical and Curious Learning_ (1680). + +114. _Two Poems Against Pope_: Leonard Welsted, _One Epistle to Mr. A. +Pope_ (1730), and Anonymous, _The Blatant Beast_ (1742). [21499] + + + + + William Andrews Clark Memorial Library: + University of California, Los Angeles + + THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY + + +_General Editors_: Earl Miner, University of California, Los Angeles; +Maximillian E. Novak, University of California, Los Angeles; Lawrence +Clark Powell, Wm. Andrews Clark Memorial Library _Corresponding +Secretary_: Mrs. Edna C. Davis, Wm. Andrews Clark Memorial Library + +The Society's purpose is to publish reprints (usually facsimile +reproductions) of rare seventeenth and eighteenth century works. All +income of the Society is devoted to defraying costs of publication and +mailing. + +Correspondence concerning subscriptions in the United States and Canada +should be addressed to the William Andrews Clark Memorial Library, 2205 +West Adams Boulevard, Los Angeles, California. Correspondence concerning +editorial matters may be addressed to any of the general editors. The +membership fee is $5.00 a year for subscribers in the United States and +Canada and 30/- for subscribers in Great Britain and Europe. British and +European subscribers should address B. H. Blackwell, Broad Street, +Oxford, England. Copies of back issues in print may be obtained from the +Corresponding Secretary. + + +PUBLICATIONS FOR 1965-1966 + +THOMAS TRAHERNE, _Meditations on the Six Days of the Creation_ (1717). +Introduction by George Robert Guffey. + +CHARLES MACKLIN, _The Covent Garden Theatre_ [manuscript] (1752). +Introduction by Jean B. Kern. [_present text_] + +ROGER L'ESTRANGE, _Citt and Bumpkin_ (1680). Introduction by B. J. Rahn. +[_In Preparation_] + +DANIEL DEFOE and Others, Accounts of the Apparition of Mrs. Veal +(ca. 1705). Introduction by Manuel Schonhorn. + +HENRY MORE, _Enthusiasmus Triumphatus_ (1662). Introduction by M. V. +DePorte. + +BERNARD MANDEVILLE, _Aesop Dress'd or a Collection of Fables Writ in +Familiar Verse_ (1704). Introduction by John S. Shea. [_In +Preparation_] + + +_ANNOUNCEMENT:_ + +The Society announces a special publication, a reprint of JOHN OGILBY, +_The Fables of Aesop Paraphras'd in Verse_ (1668), with an Introduction +by Earl Miner. Ogilby's book is commonly thought one of the finest +examples of seventeenth-century bookmaking and is illustrated with +eighty-one plates. Publication is assisted by funds from the Chancellor +of the University of California, Los Angeles. Price: to members of the +Society, $2.50; to non-members, $4.00. + + THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY + William Andrews Clark Memorial Library + 2205 WEST ADAMS BOULEVARD, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA 90018 + +Make check or money order payable to THE REGENTS OF THE UNIVERSITY OF +CALIFORNIA. + + + + + + * * * * * + + + + + +Errors and Inconsistencies noted by transcriber: + +The two pages beginning "does not Appear that he ..." and ending "...The +Honours you have Conferr'd" are missing from the facsimile and had to be +taken from a different source. Some readings are uncertain. + +This passage from the opening speech shows the original line length: + + Nobles, -- Commons -- Beaux, Bells -- Wits, + Critics, -- Bards & Bardlins, -- and ye my very + good Friends of Common Sense, -- tho' last, not + least in Merit, -- Greeting, and Patience to you + + +Introduction: + + Sir Archy MacSarcasm in _Love-a-la-Mode_, + [_printed "Love/a-la-Mode" at line break_] + Pett-en-l'air, which eighteenth-century costume books portray as + a short, loose shift + [_"Pet: en l'air" or "pet-en-l'air" literally translates as + "fart in the air"_] + +Covent Garden: + + of the Quorum of Parnassus [_"Quorom" with o corrected to u_] + as my whole design is new [_or "be new": text smudged near margin_] + So much by way of Oratia now for Action-- + [_should be "Oration" but looks like "Oratia"_] + I will Scour the whole Circle of this metropolis + [_text has "of" at line-end, with beginning of next line crossed + out and replaced with "of this Metropolis"_] + I vow I should be glad of it. + [_"vow" corrected from different word, possibly "own" or "know"_] + Your hble. Sr. [_written "hble" with line through ascenders_] + what the filthy Lawyers call-- Rems in Re + [_written as shown; correct word is "Reus"_] + Sir Harry and she were least together + [_written "least" as shown: garbling of "seen" and "last"?_] + the Animals, exhibited [_first e in "exhibited" invisible_] + But there is a further Charge against this Lady; + [_phrase roughly underlined, apparently by Examiner_] + Your Ladyship is quite right, go on with the Charge. + [_word "Charge" again underlined: end of cut?_] + "they are ravishingly White, and smooth as polish'd Marble! + [_no close quote_] + Obliged to you, (#bowing very low#) for your Compliment + [_stage direction inserted above line_] + Ay, ay, produce her, produce her. + [_after "Ay, ay", the words "Let her come in" crossed out_] + Very well Sir; he is one Mr Strictland of Somersetshire + [_original "xxx of xxx" heavily crossed out, with "Strictland of + Somersetshire" added at end of line_] + Indignation in every hones Breast [_spelling unchanged_] + And it is Pity the _Ligislature_ do not contrive + [_word "Ligislature" may be underlined by Examiner, along with + marginal marks_] + a Pack of Cards in a Green Field; two reoin'd Lords for Supporters + [_reading uncertain: see note at beginning of Errata_] + any Evening at the Bedford ... at my Lady High-life's + [_original text may read "at Lady Highlife's"; name is crossed out + and "the Bedford" inserted above line; next sentence is written "my + Lady's" with "High-life's" added above line_] + Yours, Yours [_duplication in original_] + Condemn Your Piece for want of a Plot + [_word "Piece" written only as catchword; line "for want of a Plot" + inserted at top of page_] + You are each in the art of Government + [_"art of" inserted above line_] + Caprice Steers-- Steers your Iudgement-- [_duplication in original_] + It is their Prerogative, and shews their Taste and their good Breeding + [_text beginning "and shews..." added after other text_] + and wing his own boundless Imagination [_text unchanged_] + +Augustan Reprints: + + 99. Thomas Augustine Arne, Artaxerxes (1761). + [_printed text repeats title of #100, "Simon Patrick..."_] + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE COVENT GARDEN THEATRE, OR +PASQUIN TURN'D DRAWCANSIR*** + + +******* This file should be named 30584.txt or 30584.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/0/5/8/30584 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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