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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Covent Garden Theatre, or Pasquin Turn'd
+Drawcansir, by Charles Macklin, et al
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: The Covent Garden Theatre, or Pasquin Turn'd Drawcansir
+
+
+Author: Charles Macklin
+
+
+
+Release Date: December 2, 2009 [eBook #30584]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE COVENT GARDEN THEATRE, OR
+PASQUIN TURN'D DRAWCANSIR***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Louise Hope, Joseph Cooper, Alex Buie, The Type-In
+Addicts, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
+(http://www.pgdp.net)
+
+
+
+Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this
+ file which includes illustrative images of portions
+ of the original text.
+ See 30584-h.htm or 30584-h.zip:
+ (http://www.gutenberg.org/files/30584/30584-h/30584-h.htm)
+ or
+ (http://www.gutenberg.org/files/30584/30584-h.zip)
+
+
+Transcriber's note:
+
+ The primary text was handwritten, probably by a professional
+ copyist. All line-endings were regularized by added dashes of
+ variable length; some "real" dashes are therefore conjectural.
+ Instead of typographic variants such as italics or boldface,
+ some words are distinguished by _underlining_ or #smaller
+ writing#. Abbreviations such as "Mr." were written with
+ superscripts as M^r.; they have been simplified for
+ readability.
+
+ Unless otherwise noted, all spelling, punctuation and
+ capitalization--including I/J variation and comma/period
+ errors--are as in the original. Errors and uncertainties are
+ listed at the end of the e-text.
+
+
+
+
+ The Augustan Reprint Society
+
+
+ CHARLES MACKLIN
+
+ _THE COVENT GARDEN_
+ _THEATRE,_
+
+ OR
+ _Pasquin Turn'd Drawcansir_
+
+ (1752)
+
+ _INTRODUCTION_
+ by
+ JEAN B. KERN
+
+ [Decoration]
+
+ Publication Number 116
+ WILLIAM ANDREWS CLARK MEMORIAL LIBRARY
+ University of California, Los Angeles
+ 1965
+
+
+
+
+GENERAL EDITORS
+
+ Earl R. Miner, _University of California, Los Angeles_
+ Maximillian E. Novak, _University of California, Los Angeles_
+ Lawrence Clark Powell, _Wm. Andrews Clark Memorial Library_
+
+
+ADVISORY EDITORS
+
+ Richard C. Boys, _University of Michigan_
+ John Butt, _University of Edinburgh_
+ James L. Clifford, _Columbia University_
+ Ralph Cohen, _University of California, Los Angeles_
+ Vinton A. Dearing, _University of California, Los Angeles_
+ Arthur Friedman, _University of Chicago_
+ Louis A. Landa, _Princeton University_
+ Samuel H. Monk, _University of Minnesota_
+ Everett T. Moore, _University of California, Los Angeles_
+ James Sutherland, _University College, London_
+ H. T. Swedenberg, Jr., _University of California, Los Angeles_
+
+
+CORRESPONDING SECRETARY
+
+ Edna C. Davis, _Clark Memorial Library_
+
+
+
+
+EDITORS' NOTE
+
+Although of considerable interest in itself, this hitherto unpublished
+manuscript play is reprinted in facsimile in response to requests by
+members of the Society for a manuscript facsimile of use in graduate
+seminars.
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION
+
+
+The Larpent collection of the Huntington Library contains the
+manuscript copy of Charles Macklin's COVENT GARDEN THEATRE, OR
+PASQUIN TURN'D DRAWCANSIR in two acts (Larpent 96) which is here
+reproduced in facsimile.[1] It is an interesting example of that
+mid-eighteenth-century phenomenon, the afterpiece, from a period when
+not only Shakespearean stock productions but new plays as well were
+accompanied by such farcical appendages.[2] This particular afterpiece
+is worth reproducing not only for its catalogue of the social foibles of
+the age, but as an illustration of satirical writing for the stage at a
+time when dramatic taste often wavered toward the sentimental. It
+appears that it has not been previously printed.
+
+As an actor Charles Macklin is remembered for his Scottish dress in the
+role of Macbeth, for his realistic portrayal of Shylock, for his quarrel
+with Garrick in 1743, and for his private lectures on acting at the
+Piazza in Covent Garden. He is less well known than he deserves as a
+dramatist although there has been a recent revival of interest in his
+plays stimulated by a biography by William W. Appleton, _Charles
+Macklin: An Actor's Life_ (Harvard University Press, 1960) and evidenced
+in "A Critical Study of the Extant Plays of Charles Macklin" by Robert
+R. Findlay (PhD. Thesis at the State University of Iowa, 1963). Appleton
+mentions that Macklin lost books and manuscripts in a shipwreck in 1771
+(p. 150) and that play manuscripts may also have disappeared in the sale
+of his books and papers at the end of his long life at the turn of the
+eighteenth century. It is possible that more of Macklin's work may come
+to light, like _The Fortune Hunters_ which appeared in the National
+Library in Dublin. Until a complete critical edition of Macklin's plays
+appears, making possible better assessment of his merit, such farces as
+THE COVENT GARDEN THEATRE will have to stand as an example of one genre
+of eighteenth-century theatrical productions.
+
+There are many reasons why Macklin's plays are less well known than is
+warranted by his personality and acting ability during his long
+association with the British stage. His first play, _King Henry VII_,
+a tragedy hastily put together to capitalize on the anti-Jacobite
+sentiment following the invasion attempt of 1745, was an ambitious
+failure. After this discouragement, he also had trouble with the
+Licenser so that his comedy _Man of the World_ was not presented until
+1781, twenty years after a portion of it first appeared at Covent
+Garden.[3] Nor were censorship and a bad start his only problems as a
+playwright. He also, and apparently with good reason,[4] was fearful
+of piracy and was thus reluctant to have his plays printed. His
+eighteenth-century biographer Kirkman mentions Macklin's threats to "put
+the law against every offender of it, respecting my property, in full
+force."[5] His biographers also mention his practice of giving each
+actor only his own role at rehearsals while keeping the manuscript copy
+of the whole play under lock, but this did not prevent whole acts from
+being printed in such magazines as _The Court Miscellany_, where Act I
+of _Love-a-la-Mode_ was printed as it was taken down in shorthand by the
+famous shorthand expert Joseph Gurney. If Macklin had not been required
+to submit copies of his plays to the Licenser, it is doubtful that as
+much would have survived. The contentious Macklin had reason for
+zealously guarding his manuscripts, with such provincial theatre
+managers as Tate Wilkinson at York always anxious for new plays.
+
+Finally, Macklin's best work as a playwright was satiric enough and
+topical enough to be short-lived in popularity even in his own day. Sir
+Pertinax McSychophant in the _Man of the World_ is a good character,
+especially in his famous speech on the necessity of bowing to get ahead
+in the world, as is Sir Archy MacSarcasm in _Love-a-la-Mode_, but the
+latter produced _A Scotsman's Remarks on the Farce Love-a-la Mode_ in
+the _Gentleman's Magazine_ for June, 1760, and Macklin's additional
+troubles with the Licenser would indicate that his satiric barbs were
+not always well received.
+
+Larpent manuscript 96, here reproduced, bears the application of John
+Rich to the Duke of Grafton, dated 1752, for the Licenser's permission
+and an inscription to William Chetwynd, Esq. (spelled "Chetwyne" on
+the MS.). It was extensively advertised before its one and only
+performance in the Covent Garden Theatre on April 8, 1752. The
+advertisement printed in _The London Stage_, Pt. 4, I, 305, is taken
+from the _General Advertiser_ and warns the public not to confuse this
+farce with Charles Woodward's _A Lick at the Town_ of 1751. The fact
+that the sub-title PASQUIN TURN'D DRAWCANSIR carried an obvious allusion
+to Fielding's pseudonym Alexander Drawcansir in his _Covent Garden
+Journal_, and the fact that the _Covent Garden Journal_ carried the
+advertisement for Macklin's play on March 14, 17, 21 and 28, 1752,
+before the single performance on April 8, 1752, might suggest that
+Fielding may possibly have seen the script before the play was produced.
+Esther M. Raushenbush in an article on "Charles Macklin's Lost Play
+about Henry Fielding," _MLN_, LI (1936), 505-14, points out that Macklin
+was not attacking Fielding in this play as W. L. Cross and G. E. Jensen
+had earlier suggested, but instead was trading on the popularity of
+Fielding's _Enquiry into the Causes of the Late Increase of Robbers_,
+which had appeared in January, 1751. Macklin's farce makes clear
+reference to Section III of Fielding's pamphlet near the end of THE
+COVENT GARDEN THEATRE where Pasquin delivers a lecture against Sharpers.
+
+The advertisement for Macklin's play in Fielding's _Covent Garden
+Journal_ is the same as that printed in _The London Stage_ from the
+_General Advertiser_:
+
+ a New Dramatic Satire ... written on the model of the Comedies of
+ Aristophanes or like Pasquinades of the Italian Theatre in Paris:
+ with the Characters of the People after the manner of Greek
+ drama--The parts of the Pit, the Boxes, the Galleries, the Stage,
+ and the Town to be performed By Themselves for their Diversion. The
+ Parts of several dull, disorderly characters in and about St. James,
+ to be performed by Certain Persons, for Example: and the part of
+ Pasquin Drawcansir, to be performed by his Censorial Highness, for
+ his Interest.[6] The Satire to be introduced by an Oration and to
+ conclude by a Peroration. Both to be spoken from the Rostrum in the
+ manner of certain Orators by Signior Pasquin.
+
+No cast remains, but presumably from references in the play itself,
+Macklin took the role of Pasquin who with the aid of Marforio calls in
+review characters representing all the foibles of the age. There is no
+plot. Act I simply ends while Pasquin and the Spectators retire to the
+Green Room to await the appearance of those characters whom Marforio has
+called in review.
+
+In this ambitious attempt to list all the follies of his age, Macklin
+employs the popular technique of eighteenth-century plays such as
+Fielding's _The Author's Farce_--the play appears to be writing itself
+on the stage. He displays all the tricks of satire--exaggeratedly ironic
+praise, allegorical names (Miss Giggle, Miss Brilliant, Miss Bashfull),
+stock characters of satire (Pasquin, Marforio, Hydra, Drawcansir), lists
+of offenses, parodies of polite conversation reminiscent of Swift, and
+constant topical references: to the Robin Hood Society to which little
+Bob Smart belongs; to Mother Midnight; to playwrights (Fielding, Foote,
+Woodward, Cibber, and himself); to contemporary theatrical taste
+(Pantomime, Delaval's _Othello_ which Macklin himself had coached,
+Harlequins, Masquerades, and various theatrical tricks); to Critics
+(Bonnell Thornton, who later reviewed this afterpiece, is called
+Termagent since Thornton's pseudonym was "Roxana Termagent"; John Hill
+is referred to as the "Inspector" of the _Daily Advertiser_; and
+Fielding is called Sir Alexander Drawcansir). The farce abounds in these
+topical references, from Pasquin's opening invocation to Lucian,
+"O thou, who first explored and dared to laugh at Public Folly," to its
+closing lecture against Sharpers like Count Hunt Bubble where the
+obvious allusions to Section III on Gaming of Fielding's _Enquiry_ ...
+are applauded by Solomon Common Sense, the voice of Reason.
+
+This vast parade of fashions and foibles with frequent thinly veiled
+references to individuals may explain the numerous Licenser's marks on
+the manuscript. If all the marked lines were omitted, it is small wonder
+that this afterpiece was performed only once. Dramatic satire, without
+plot, is difficult to sustain even in farce, and if the marked lines
+were cut, there was little left to recommend the play. It is not
+surprizing that the Licenser objected to such passages as the
+description of Miss Giggle's "nudities," but his frequent objections
+to topical and personal references took all the bite out of Macklin's
+satire.
+
+Like Macklin's other early farces, THE COVENT GARDEN THEATRE contains
+proto-characters for his later plays. Sir Roger Ringwood, a "five-bottle
+man," who rode twenty miles from a "red-hot Fox Chace" to appear before
+Pasquin, is an early study for Macklin's later hard-drinking,
+fox-hunting Squire Groom in _Love-a-la Mode_ or Lord Lumbercourt in _The
+Man of the World_. But Macklin's usual good ear for dialogue is missing
+from this play, nor is any character except his own as Pasquin followed
+long enough to make his characteristic speech identifiable. Since plot
+is absent too, all that remains is the wealth of topical and personal
+satire which in itself is interesting to the historian of the
+mid-eighteenth-century theatre. If THE COVENT GARDEN THEATRE is studied
+along with his other two unpublished afterpieces in the Larpent
+collection (A WILL AND NO WILL, OR A BONE FOR THE LAWYERS and THE NEW
+PLAY CRITICIZ'D, OR THE PLAGUE OF ENVY), Macklin's skill at satiric
+comedy after his initial abortive attempt at tragedy can be seen as
+developing steadily toward such later full-length comedies as the better
+known _Love-a-la Mode_ (1759) and _The Man of the World_ (1764). His
+recognition that tragedy was not his forte and his self-criticism in THE
+COVENT GARDEN THEATRE, where he exhorts the audience to "explode" him
+when he is dull, reveal the comic spirit operative in his sometimes
+cantankerous personality. It is that strain, here seen in genesis, which
+develops full-fledged in his later comedies.
+
+A word should be added about the Dramatis Personae for the play. It does
+not contain the Stage-Keeper, who speaks only once, the Servant whose
+single word is accompanied by the stage direction "This Servant is to be
+on from the beginning," nor the Romp (probably the Prompter, who speaks
+twice off-stage during the play). Hic and Haec Scriblerus, however,
+although he is listed in the cast of characters, speaks only once, and
+his entrance on stage is never indicated.
+
+The "naked lady," Lady Lucy Loveit, whose entrance causes so much
+excitement, is described as appearing in a Pett-en-l'air, which
+eighteenth-century costume books portray as a short, loose shift!
+
+_Coe College_
+
+
+
+
+NOTES TO THE INTRODUCTION
+
+
+ [Footnote 1: The author of this introduction is indebted to the
+ Henry E. Huntington Library, San Marino, California, both for a
+ research Fellowship in the summer of 1963 and for permission to
+ reproduce this Macklin play as well as two others by the same
+ author, A WILL AND NO WILL, OR A BONE FOR THE LAWYERS (Larpent 58)
+ and THE NEW PLAY CRITICIS'D, OR THE PLAGUE OF ENVY (Larpent 64).]
+
+ [Footnote 2: George W. Stone, _The London Stage_, Part 4, I,
+ cxlv.]
+
+ [Footnote 3: Dougald MacMillan, "Censorship in the Case of
+ Macklin's _The Man of the World_," _Huntington Library Quarterly_,
+ No. 10 (1936), pp. 79-101.]
+
+ [Footnote 4: W. Matthews, "The Piracies of Macklin's _Love-a-la
+ Mode_," _Review of English Studies_, X (1934), 311-18.]
+
+ [Footnote 5: James T. Kirkman, _Memoirs of the Life of Charles
+ Macklin, Esq._ (1799), II, 33. Kirkman quotes Macklin's letters
+ both to his solicitor and to James Whitley of Leicester to stop
+ all such pirated performances (II, 37-41).]
+
+ [Footnote 6: John Rich's application to the Licenser indicates
+ that "Mr. Macklin designs to have [the play] performed at his
+ Benefit Night...."]
+
+
+
+
+1752
+
+
+Covent Garden Theatre.
+
+or
+
+Pasquin turn'd Drawcansir
+
+A
+
+Dramatic Satyr.
+
+ Sr.
+
+ This peice ent'd Covt. Garden Theatre
+ or Pasquin turn'd Drawcansir Mr.
+ Macklin designs to have perform'd on his
+ Benefit Night wth the permission of his Grace
+ the Duke of Grafton.
+
+ To William Chetwyne Esq.
+
+ I am
+ Sr. yr humble Srvt
+ Jno Rich
+
+
+
+
+Dramatis Personae
+
+
+Men.
+
+ Pasquin.
+ Marforio.
+ Sir Eternal Grinn.
+ Sir Conjecture Possitive.
+ Sir Roger Ringwood.
+ Bob: Smart.
+ Solomon Common Sense
+ Count Hunt bubble.
+ Sr. Iohn Ketch.
+ Hic & haec Scriblerus.
+ Hydra.
+
+
+Women.
+
+ Lady Lucy Lovit
+ Miss Diana Singlelife
+ Miss Brilliant.
+ Miss Giggle.
+ Miss Bashful.
+
+
+Scene. Covent Garden Theatre.
+
+Time an hour.
+
+
+
+
+ Covent Garden Theatre
+ Or
+ Pasquin turn'd Drawcansir.
+
+
+ Scene. The Stage, with a Rostrum on it.
+
+ Enter Pasquin. Goes in the Rostrum.
+
+Pas:
+Nobles,-- Commons-- Beaux, Bells-- Wits, Critics,-- Bards & Bardlins,--
+and ye my very good Friends of Common Sense,-- tho' last, not least in
+Merit,-- Greeting, and Patience to you all. I Seignior Pasquin, of the
+Quorum of Parnassus. Drawcansir and Censor of Great Britain, by my Bills
+and Advertisements, have Summoned You together this Night to hear a
+Public Examination of several Public Nusances, My Scene I have laid in
+the Common Theatre, which is my usual place of exposing those Knaves and
+Fools, who despise the Moral-- and those who are too great or too Subtle
+for the common Law, and as my whole design is new, I hope You, my
+Gracious Patrons, will not be Offended if I Assigne you a part in this
+Pasquinade, which is this,-- You are to Act as a Chorus to the whole.
+When you behold a Fool pleasantly exposed You are to laugh, if you
+please, not else;-- When a Knave is Satyrized with Spirit & Wit, You are
+to Applaud;-- and when Pasquin is dull you are to explode, which I
+Suppose will be the Chief of Your Part. But, before I Enter upon my
+Office of Public Censor, give me leave Gracious Patrons, as is my
+Custom, whenever I come, to give a short Sketch of my Character and
+Practice. I am known throughout the Globe, have been Caress'd in most of
+the Courts, lock'd up in most Prisons in Europe. The dexterity of my
+Flattery has introduced me to the Tables of the First Dons in Madrid one
+Day, and, the boldness of my Satyr, into the Inquisition next. I have
+Revel'd with the Princes of the Blood, and have made all Paris laugh at
+my Wit over Night, and, have had the Honour of being in the Bastile the
+next Morning. indeed I fared but indifferently in Holland; for, all that
+my Flattery, or Satyr, my Ridicule or my Wit, cou'd procure me there,
+was an Appartment in the Rasp House. At length, most Gracious and
+Indulgent Britons, I am arrived in this Great Metropolis! this Magazine
+of all the World! this Nurse of Trade! this Region of Liberty! this
+School of Arts and Sciences! This Universal Rendevouz of all the
+Monsters produced by wagish Nature & fantastick Art, here Panopticons,
+Microcosms, Bears, Badgers, Lyons, Leapords, Tygers, Panthers, Ostriches
+and Unicorns,-- Giants, dwarfs, Hermorphradites and Conjurers, Statemen,
+Nostrums, Patriots and Corncutters! Quacks, Turks, Enthusiasts, and Fire
+Eaters. Mother Midnights, Termagants, Clare Market, and Robin Hood
+Orators, Drury Lane Journals, Inspectors, Fools, and Drawcansirs, dayly
+Tax the Public by Virtue of the Strangeness the Monstrosity or delicacy
+of their Nature or Genius, And hither I am come, knowing you were fond
+of Monsters, To exhibit Mine, the newest & I hope the greatest Monster
+of them all, for the Public is a common Bank, upon which every Genius
+and every Beauty has a right to draw in proportion to their merit, from
+a Minister of State and a Maid of Honour, down to a Chien Savant or a
+Covent Garden Mistress, To Conclude, my Business in this Land may be
+Sum'd up in a few Words; it is to get your money and cure you of Your
+Foibles. for wherever Pasquin comes the Public is his Patient; its Folly
+his Support. (#bows#) So much by way of Oratia now for Action-- then for
+Peroration.
+
+Hollo! Marforio! (#goes to the door#).
+
+ Enter Marforio.
+
+Mar:
+Here my Fellow Labourer!
+
+Pas:
+Have you prepared for general Search?
+
+Mar:
+I have-- but let me once more entreat you to alter your design. do not
+behave with your usual Sacasm and boldness upon your first appearance.
+Strive to gain the favour of the Public by Morality and Panegyrick-- not
+by undaunted Satyr--
+
+Pas:
+Marforio, We are come to England to make Our Fortune by Our parts, And
+you Advise to begin with Morality and Flattery. You might as well Advise
+a Soldier to make his Fortune by Cowardice. No Sir, he, who wou'd gain
+the Esteem of a Brave, a wise, and a free people, must lash their Vices,
+and laugh at their Folies.
+
+Mar:
+Well, if you must be Satyrical, confine Your Satyr to the City.
+
+Pas:
+No, I'll begin at the Source. the Bourgoie is but the Ape of the
+Courtier; Correct the one, the other Mends of Course. I will Scour the
+whole Circle of this metropolis; not a tilted Sharpor, or a fair
+Libertine, but I will Gibbet in Effigie. Birth Privilege or Quality
+shall not be a Sanction to the ignominious Practices of the one, nor
+shall Fashion or Beauty be a Skreen for the Folly or Indecency of the
+other. Tho' they elude the Laws of Westminster, they shall not escape
+the Lash of Parnassus. Here we have no Inquisition, no Bastile, no Rasp
+House, to dread. So without a Single hesitation more of Doubt or fear,
+let us at once plunge into Action.-- Go you & take a Set of proper
+Officers with you and, by a Warrant from Appollo, Search every
+disorderly House in Town. Routs, drums, and Assemblies, particularly the
+den.
+
+Mar:
+It shall be done. (#Exit Marforio#)
+
+Pas:
+O thou, who first explored and dar'd to laugh at Public Folly; Sweet
+facetious Lucian, Father of Gibes and laughing Ridicule Inspire thy
+Votary, teach me this Night to draw a Striking Likeness in which the
+free born Britons may behold their Beauties and Deformities as perfectly
+as the Inquisitive Eye does its own Image in the faithful Mirror!
+
+ Enter Marforio.
+
+Pas:
+What brings you back?
+
+Mar:
+I met the Town at the Stage door & return'd to give you Notice, that
+they may not Surprize you.
+
+Pas:
+I am glad they are come, what sort of Humour are they in.
+
+Mar:
+Seemingly in a good one. But in roaring Spirits and in high Expectation
+of Riot and Fun as they term it.
+
+ Hydra. behind the Scenes
+
+Hyd:
+Where, where, which way! here, this Way, this way Ladies. this way.
+
+Pas:
+Here they come, begone-- leave them to Me-- Proceed you in your Search.
+
+Mar:
+I shall. (Exit)
+
+Hyd:
+This way, this way Ladies.
+
+Pas:
+I'll retire, till I see what humour they are in (#retires#).
+
+ Enter Hydra, Miss Brilliant &
+ Stage-Keeper.
+
+Stage.
+Mr. Hydra Servant.
+
+Servt:
+Here (this Servt: be on from the begining)
+
+Hyd:
+This way Madam.
+
+Brill:
+Well do you know Mr. Hydra that I am upon the Tip-toe of Expectation to
+know what this Medley can be?
+
+Hyd:
+Upon Honour so am I-- quite upon the Rack, but where is the rest of Our
+Party? Miss Bashfull here's mighty good Room. Bob Smart won't you hand
+miss Bashfull to her Place.
+
+ Enter Bob Smart.
+
+Bob.
+Upon Honour I cannot prevail upon her to come on. She's Affraid the
+Audience will take her for one of the Actresses and hiss her.
+
+Omn:
+Ha, ha, ha, ridiculous.
+
+Brill.
+Dear Creature come on. Lord I have Sat upon the Stage a hundred times
+(#pulls her on#) and if they should take us for some of the Characters
+in the Farce. I vow I should be glad of it.
+
+Bob:
+Upon Honour so Should I.
+
+Bash.
+O Lud, I should instantly faint away if they took me for an Actress.
+
+Brill.
+Ha-- ha-- ha-- O Lud I protest there's Sr. Conjecture Possitive. in the
+Musick Place.
+
+Bash.
+Upon Honour so he is.
+
+Brill.
+Sr: Conjecture your Servant, won't you come up to Us? we'll make Room
+for You.
+
+ #Sr. Conjecture in the Musick Room.#
+
+Sr. Con:
+Miss your humble I am afraid so many of us upon the Stage will offend
+the Audience.
+
+Brill.
+O not at all, It is in the Bills that the Town are to Sit upon the
+Stage, & sure Sir Conjecture the World must Allow you to be a Principall
+Character amongst Us.
+
+Sr. Con:
+The World is very kind Madam. I'll do my Self the Honour to attend you.
+
+Bash.
+Pray Miss Brilliant do you know who this Pasquin is?
+
+Brill.
+Yes Child; he is one of the Heathen Gods; Iupiter's Grandfather. You may
+read a particular Account of him my dear, in Homer, or Milton, or any of
+the Greek Poets (#pulls out a Bill of the Farce#) well I vow its a
+Whimsicall Bill this; a charming Puff. Lud where's Sir Conjecture?
+I suppose he can give us a particular Account of it. for he knows every
+thing.
+
+Hyd:
+You mean Miss he pretends to know every thing..
+
+Brill.
+Why that is as Pleasant to him Mr. Hydra, as if he really had knowledge,
+he is a strange conceited Coxcomb to be sure, but entertaining. I wonder
+his Character was never introduced upon the Stage, he is a most
+ridiculous Fellow.
+
+ Enter Sr. Conjecture
+
+Sr. Con:
+Ha-- ha-- ha-- who is that dear Miss is a ridiculous Fellow.
+
+Omn:
+Ha-- ha-- ha--
+
+Brill:
+O Lud, I hope he did not here me (#apart#)
+
+Omn:
+Ha-- ha-- ha,
+
+Brill:
+Why this-- a-- a-- Macklin, Macklin,-- or Pasquin-- or Drawcansir-- or
+who ever it was that writ this Play Bill.
+
+Sr. Con:
+It is a Puff, a Puff-- a Puff, a very good Puff upon Honour, like
+Woodward's lick at the Town last year. I am afraid tho' All the Wit of
+the Author is in the Bill, ha, ha, ha.
+
+Omn:
+Ha, ha, ha.
+
+Brill:
+Now upon Honour I like it for it's Novelty.
+
+Bob:
+And upon Honour I shall damn it for it's Novelty, ev'ry Man in his
+Humour as the Play says.
+
+Hyd:
+Ha, ha, well said Bob.
+
+Brill:
+But the Pit, Boxes and Gallery's doing their parts for their Diversion,
+that's what puzzles me.
+
+Hyd:
+Lord, that's all a Puff. he'll have some body upon the Stage to
+represent them.
+
+Sr. Con:
+No, no, no, you are out, you are out, he is to have one of the Actors in
+the Pitt; who is to Speak from thence-- See there-- there he is the very
+Actor-- You may See him from hence-- he sits next to that very handsome
+Gentleman that looks like a Iew's Bastard.
+
+Omn:
+Ha, ha, ha-- I see him, I see him.
+
+Sr. Con:
+And there's one of the Actresses some where or other in the Front
+Boxes;-- She's a New Woman-- very handsome they say, one Miss
+Tweezeldon. I wish we cou'd find her out.
+
+Hyd:
+I can't see her;-- unless that be She with the White teeth that laughs
+so heartily, and is playing with her Fan.
+
+Sr. Conj.
+I believe that is She; yes, yes, that is she I am Possitive, for she
+blushes at Our Speaking of her, but we shall put her out of
+Countenance.-- Ladies we should not let the Audience so far into the
+Secret; it will not be fair;-- come let us Step into the Green Room for
+a Moment-- I want to have a little Chat with this Pasquin.
+
+Brill:
+Miss Bashfull come Child we'll go into the Green Room. were you ever
+there.
+
+Bash:
+Never Madam.
+
+Brill:
+Come then I'll shew it you.
+
+Bash:
+O with all my heart-- I long to See the Green Room; I have often heard
+of it-- they say the Actresses paint Prodigiously-- I shou'd like of all
+things to see them near.
+
+Sr. Con:
+Come Ladies if you please I'll Introduce you.
+
+ Exeunt.
+
+ Enter Pasquin.
+
+Pas:
+So there they go,-- the choice Spirits, the Infalibles, who preside at
+all Public Diversions; and on whom the Fate of Pasquin this Night
+depends.
+
+Hyd:
+Where is he, where is this Drawcansir } within
+
+Romp.
+This way Sir, on the Stage. }
+
+Hyd:
+(#_Running up to him with great Ceremony_#) Seignior Pasquin--
+Drawcansir-- Censor of great Britain, your Satyrical Mightiness is
+welcome to London. and now Sir, as you and I are to be very intimate to
+night, pray, Sir, give me leave to have the Honour of introducing my
+self to you.
+
+Pas:
+Sir you do me great Honour.
+
+Hyd:
+I am Sir, for my Taste in Public Diversions, honoured with the facetious
+Appellation of the Town.-- but my real Name is Iack Hydra. for these
+many Years, Sir, I have been the North Star of the Pit; by which All
+Criticks have Steered their Iudgement: And am Sir at the Head of the
+Genii who direct the Public,-- We decide between contending Toasts, pass
+Iudgement upon Actors, damn, or encourage Authors; and are the Bucks, my
+dear, that I fancy will do for you to Night.
+
+Pas:
+Sir of the Infallibility and Power of the Town I am very well apprized;
+therefore I have invited you this Night, that my Proceedings may have
+the Sanction of your Approbation. for whatever the Town disapproves I
+shall my self Condemn.
+
+Hyd:
+But harkee Pasquin, prithy what is this Humbug. Bill of Yours about it;
+Why how the Devil will you gett off your Promise of the Pit, Boxes, and
+Galleries, performing their parts for their Diversion
+
+Pas:
+As the Politicious say Sir, you are a little premature in your Question.
+Puffing Sr: & the Drama have their Arcana's as well as Love or Politics.
+I'll engage the Pit, Boxes, and Galleries perform their parts to a
+Numerous and Polite Audience, and with Universal Applause. As soon as
+they shall hear the Cue depend upon it you'll hear them Speak.
+
+Hyd:
+Well Sir, Preliminaries being Settled I will now individually introduce,
+to your censorial Highness, the Genii who are to Sit upon you.
+
+Pas:
+Sir, I shall think my self highly honour'd in their Acquaintance.
+
+Omn:
+(#within#) Where is he, where is he? what, upon the Stage, ha, ha, ha.
+(#as they all press to come on Hydra stops them#)
+
+Hyd:
+Nay, nay, softly, softly Gentlemen, & I'll Introduce You all if you will
+have Patience! One at a time, You must come on but one at a time.
+
+Omn:
+Ay, ay, one at a time, keep back, keep back; pray keep back; We shall
+have the Audience hiss us.
+
+ Enter Bob Smart.
+
+Hyd:
+The first Character I have the Honour to introduce to your Highness is
+the facetious Bob Smart, a professed Wit and Critic; no Man knows the
+Intrigues of the Court, the Theatres, or the City better, No Man has a
+finer Taste in the Belle' Letters, for he is deemed one of the best
+Gentlemen Harlequins in Europe, and is an Emminent Orator at the Robin
+Hood Society.
+
+Bob:
+Yes, Seignior, I am little Bob Smart at your Service; did you ever hear
+of me Abroad?
+
+Pas:
+Often, often Sir.
+
+Bob:
+I thought so; have you got ever a Harlequin in this Farce of yours,
+Mr. Drawcansir?
+
+Pas:
+No Sir.
+
+Bob:
+Then you'll be damn'd Sir. by your Bills I thought there was a Pantomime
+in it. I wish you had consulted me, I have wrote two-- And a Parcell of
+us intend next Winter to have one of the Theatres, and to treat the
+Public with the finest Pantomime that ever was seen, in Immitation of
+the Gentlemen Who Play'd Othello.
+
+Omn:
+Ha, ha, ha, Bravo, Bravo (_at the side of the Scenes_)
+
+Bob:
+Don't you think it will exceed Othello?
+
+Pas:
+Certainly Sir; and be a much more rational Entertainment, and what will
+Shew your Genius to vast Advantage.
+
+Bob:
+I am to do the Harlequin in it, tidi, doldi, doldi, doldi dee, tidi,
+doldi, doldi, doldi dee (#Sings & dances the Harlequin.#)
+
+Omn:
+Ha, ha, ha, ha, Bravo, Bravo.
+
+Bob:
+Do you think that will do Seignior?
+
+Pas:
+To Admiration.
+
+Bob:
+I practice it three Hours evry Morning, but what is the Nature of this
+Farce of yours? have you any Smart, ridiculous, droll Fellows in it ha!
+
+Pas:
+No Sir. they are all polite, Sensible, decent, Characters such as yours!
+
+Bob.
+Nay Igad if they are like me I'll engage they'll make the public
+laugh.-- for by all that's drole I always Set the Coffee House in a Roar
+when I am there, he! don't I Hydra.
+
+Hyd:
+Why you are the very Yorick of the Age.
+
+Bob:
+Igad I have more humour than Foot a thousand times; and I'll lay a
+Chaldron of Guineas to a Nutshell that my Pantomime, is a better thing
+than his Taste. I think I have some Fun in me demme.
+
+Hyd:
+This Mr. Pasquin is the Noted Sr. Conjecture Possitive; a Gentleman who
+was never in an Error in his Life,-- consequently cou'd never be
+convinced. Sr. he understands Politics and Butterflies, Whale fishing
+and Cricket, Fortification and Shittle Cock; Poetry and Wolf Dogs; in
+short ev'ry thing, in ev'ry Art and Science, from a Pins Head, to the
+Longitude & Philosopher's Stone, better than any Man in Europe.
+
+Sr. Con:
+O Fye, Mr. Hydra, you are too lavish, Mr. Pasquin will think you are
+imposing upon him.
+
+Hyd:
+Sir, he has such Segacity and Penetration that he can decypher a Lady's
+Affections, or a Statesman's Heart by a glance of the Eye; and has such
+profound critical Knowledge that he can pronounce upon a New Play the
+Moment he has heard the first Speech of it.
+
+Sr. Con:
+Mr. Hydra is apt to think too well of his Friends Abilities Mr.
+Pasquin;-- it is his Foible; But however, I have some knowledge-- I am
+not in the common herd of Critics. I can give a tollerable Guess at most
+of the Productions in Art and Nature.
+
+Pas:
+I believe it Sir; for your Mein, & Countenance, Dress and mannor of
+speaking, are an Index of Sagacity and Penetration.
+
+Sr. Con:
+I shall give you my Opinion very freely; I know you intend to bring on
+some particular Characters from Our End of the Town-- Capt. Crimp--
+Match Count Hunt-Bubble & that Knot-- To be sure they are all Sharpers,
+and deserve to be exposed-- but, they are what are called Men of
+Fashion-- You had better let them alone-- they are a Nest of Hornets--
+You may be Stung to death by them-- they'll damn your Piece if they can
+do nothing else
+
+ Enter Miss Bashfull.
+
+Pas:
+Sir, I thank you for your Caution-- I shall Act with Prudence.
+
+Hyd:
+This, Sir, is Miss Bashfull, who is under the Tuition of Miss Brilliant,
+A Novice at present, but will in Time make a Shining Figure-- For She's
+a Genius-- but not ripe yet.
+
+Bas.
+I, I, I, I,-- Assure You Mr. Pasquin-- I-- I-- I am mightily pleased
+with your Bill about A, a, aristo-- pha-- nes and-- Paskee-- in-- des.
+and the Per-- oration, I reckon they are very Comical-- Your hble. Sr.
+
+Pas:
+Your Servant Madam.
+
+Bash:
+(#To Miss Brilliant#) Well I never Spoke to a Poet before! Lord how
+frightened I was.
+
+ Enter Miss Brilliant.
+
+Lord Mr. Hydra, I should laugh if the Audience shou'd take me for one of
+the Actresses-- but if they do I don't care; for I am resolved I'll See
+this Farce if I never See another.
+
+Hyd:
+This Mr. Pasquin is the Sprightly Miss Brilliant, a Lady who pants to be
+acquainted with you; She is intimate with Mr. Garrick-- is known to the
+Fool, corresponds with Sir Alexander Drawcansir, and has writ several
+Admired Inspectors.
+
+Brill:
+Yes, Mr. Pasquin the World is kind enough to say my Friend Prometheus
+has given me a little Flame, a small Portion-- A Spark-- A Ray of the
+Etherial-- that's all. I wish you wou'd come and breakfast with me One
+Morning. I wou'd shew you a little thing that wou'd please you, it is
+but a Trifle;-- but it is neat-- something like Sapho-- a Ia ne se
+quoi-- Do you know the Inspector.
+
+Pas:
+No Madam.
+
+Brill:
+Nor the Fool.
+
+Pas:
+No Madam.
+
+Brill.
+Nor Sir Alexander.
+
+Pas:
+I am not so happy Madam.
+
+Brill.
+I'll make them your Friends-- If I see them here to Night, I'll
+Introduce them to you. I am intimate with all the Genii in Town. but
+prithee what is this Piece of yours? it has excited vast Curiosity. Is
+it after the Manner of Aristophanes-- or Fielding-- or Foot's Pieces--
+don't tell me-- I won't have my Pleasure Anticipated-- but I assure I
+shall applaud-- I am mighty glad I don't know what it is-- It is much
+pleasanter to be Surprized be it good or bad.
+
+ Enter Sir Eternal Grin.
+
+Hyd:
+This, Mr. Pasquin is Sir Eternal Grin. He is what is call'd a good
+natured Man & extremely well bred-- So Polite he never frownd in his
+Life.
+
+Grin.
+No, never in my Life I assure you Mr. Pasquin.
+
+Hyd:
+He is an uncommon Favourite with the Ladies, And is never so happy as
+when they employ him.
+
+Grin.
+No never Sir. ha, ha.
+
+Hyd:
+His whole Life is spent in their Service, ev'ry Morning you may See him
+running from Play House to Play House, regulating the Box Book in
+Consequence of the Commissions he recieved over night for Places. that
+done he hurrys away to mill their Chocolate, toast their Muffins, make
+their Tea, and wait on them to the Mercers-- In the Evening you may See
+him in every part of the Play-House, handing then in and Out, and
+between every Act, whisking from Box to Box; whispering News and
+Appointments. thence to half a dozen, Drums and Routs; where, after
+loosing to them at Cards 'till two in the Morning, he has the happiness
+of seeing the dear Creatures to their Chairs, and then goes home as
+happy, as an Author after a Successfull first Night.
+
+Grin.
+'Tis true Mr. Pasquin as Mr. Hydra says my whole Life is devoted to
+the Service of the Fair. therefore I hope there is no Indelicacy, no
+severity, Satyr, or Ridicule against them in your Piece. if there be you
+must not take it Ill if I head a Party to damn it. ha, ha, ha.
+
+Pas.
+Sir, I never Pollute my Productions with Invectives against the Fair.
+I am to the best of my poor Abilities, their constant Advocate. he, he,
+he, he. (#laughing & Mimicking him#).
+
+Grin.
+Why then I am your Friend to perpetuity: as to other Characters you may
+take what Liberty you please with them. there is Hydra an Admiral
+Character-- he pretends to Taste-- but he is ignorant as-- dear Sir I
+can furnish you with a thousand such ridiculous Wretches so that you
+need not have recourse to the Ladies.
+
+Pas:
+Sir I shall take particular Notice of Your Advice, and follow it
+implicitly. and shall be Obliged to you for a few Characters.
+
+Grin.
+I'll send them to you depend upon it, your Servant (#turns to the
+Company#) this Pasquin is a very Sensible Fellow, and I believe will
+Please the Public-- for he minds what the Iudicious say to him.
+
+ Enter Sir Roger Ringwood.
+
+Sr. Rog:
+Haux, haux, haux! hido, hido. Iack Hydra, yours.-- What is this ancient
+Chorus begun yet? this Farce after the manner of Aristotle and all the
+Heathen Gods.-- Zounds I am come twenty Miles, from a red-hot-Fox Chace,
+on purpose to see it. What the Devil is this Hotch-Potch? a Pantomime,
+or a Tragedy? I believe I shall Salute it with a Seranade-- tip it dead
+Hollow Haux, haux, dead, dead, dead & damned-- but who is this Pasquin?
+
+Hyd:
+If you please I'll introduce you to him.
+
+Sr. Rog:
+With all my heart.
+
+Hyd:
+Sir this is the famous Sr. Roger Ringwood. a five bottle Man I assure
+you; remarkable for his Taste in dramatic Performances, & the loudest
+Voice that ever damn'd a Play.
+
+Sr. Rog:
+Hem (#Hems very loud#) yes I have pretty good Lungs. hido, hido!
+
+Hyd.
+Sr: I have known him fright a whole Box of Ladies into Fits with One
+blast of his Voice; drive the whole Party of an Author's Friends out of
+the Pit, with the tremendous Courage of a few Oaths; and have frequently
+heard him harangue an Audience on a first night with as much Applause as
+every Tully did the Romans-- Sir Roger this is ye Celebrated Seignior
+Pasquin.
+
+Sr. Rog:
+Hum! dam me he looks like Mahomet Charratha going to dance the Rope.
+harkee Seignior-- what is this Medley of yours? this Covent Garden
+Theatre? Is it in Italian?
+
+Pas:
+No, Sir.
+
+Sr. Rog:
+In French?
+
+Pas:
+Neither Sir.
+
+Sr. Rog:
+Neither-- Why what the Devil Language is it in then?
+
+Pas:
+English Sir.
+
+Sr. Rog:
+English! Zounds I never heard of any English Farce with Greek Chorus's
+before. I reckon it is damn'd low Stuff.
+
+Q Scrib:
+That it is I'll answer for it before I see it.
+
+Sr. Rog:
+Harkee, Seignor, be it Tragedy or Farce I don't Care a Hare's Scut, so
+there is but Fun in it. but none of your French Fricassies according to
+Rule! haux, haux, my honies; give us a fair Burst of Fun, my dear, &
+we'll follow you for fifty nights end-ways, haux, haux, something of the
+Antients now-- Something of a-- a-- old Shakespear, or Horace, or Homer,
+or Ben Johnson, as they have at Drury Lane. do you hear-- Something that
+way & I'll engage it takes. but if it is any of your New Moral Stuff,
+according to Rule, I shall Tip it a dead Hollow, (#Hollows#) think of
+that and be dull if you dare.
+
+Pas:
+Certainly such a Iudicious Patron as Sr. Roger Ringwood, must inspire
+both an Author and an Actor.
+
+ Enter Miss Diana Single-Life.
+
+Hyd:
+This is Miss Diana Single-Life, a maiden Lady of Youth, Beauty,
+Chastity, & Erudition: who has read more Romances, Novels, Poems &
+Plays, than there are Acts of Parliament in ye English Language.
+
+Diana:
+Yes, Mr. Pasquin I may venture to say, with the Strictest Propriety,
+that I have read as much as any Lady that has Existed in the Circle of
+Literature.-- not the great Daicer excepted: but I hope Mr. Pasquin you
+have nothing in your Exhibition that is Shocking to Chastity, no double
+Entendres in your Examinations; If you have I shall certainly explode
+them. You must know I was once perswaded to go to hear a Tryal for a
+Rape-- I vow I blush at the bare mention of the Word-- what wou'd you
+have of it-- in short I went;-- but I thought I shou'd have Swoon'd away
+upon the Spot, the Tryal was so full of double Entendres, and what the
+filthy Lawyers call-- Rems in Re-- --
+
+Omn:
+Ha, ha, ha, ha.
+
+Pas:
+Madam, you may assure your self that the Virgin Particles of Your
+Modesty shall never be Agitated by the Amorous Transparancy of Pasquin's
+Obscenity. (#Mimicking her#)
+
+Hyd:
+Look, look, if the impudent Rogue is not taking the Old Maid Off to her
+face, & she does not See it.
+
+Omn:
+Ha, ha, ha.
+
+Dia.
+Sir, I am your humble--
+
+Pas.
+Your devoted--
+
+Dia.
+And immense Admirer.
+
+Pas.
+And superlatively honour'd humble Servant.
+
+ (#She is going to the Company but turns short to Pasquin#)
+
+Dia.
+O Mr. Pasquin I had like to have forgot, I must give you a hint, as you
+intend to Satyrize the vicious & the ridiculous, that may be useful to
+you. that Lady You See there is the greatest Coquet in Town. She is the
+Noted Miss Brilliant that is Supposed to be well with his Grace, and the
+Old General-- there are several others talk'd of, but the World you know
+is censorious-- Upon my Honour I don't believe any Body but his Grace
+and the General ever had any Connexion with her.
+
+Pas.
+Your Ladyship is very tender in thinking so-- but it is certain Sir
+Harry and she were least together in a Bagnio one Masquerade Night.
+
+Dia.
+Why, that I knew to be true, Mr. Pasquin, but I did not care to say all
+I know, because I wou'd not be thought Censorious-- that Young Lady with
+her, Miss Bashful, has a very fine Boy at Nurse, above half a year Old.
+but very few Knew any thing of it.-- And she is now going to be marry'd
+to the North Country Knight-- It wou'd be pity to speak of it-- She will
+pass upon him-- he's a very great Blockhead and She is good enough for
+him-- For he was not born in Wedlock himself.
+
+Pas.
+They will be a very proper Match, Madam.
+
+Dia.
+Most proper, Your humble Servant Seignior.
+
+Pas.
+Your Lordships most Obedient.
+
+Hyd.
+This, Mr. Pasquin, is a plain honest Citizen. He is called honest
+Solomon Common Sense; If you can please him, and make him Your friend,
+he can influence a large Number in your Favour; which will be of more
+Service to you than the Approbation of all the Pitt-- Maitres, Critics,
+and Wou'd-be Witts, from St. James's to White Chappel.
+
+Pas.
+I have often heard of the Gentleman, he is in great Esteem amongst Our
+best Critics abroad, and I shall make it my particular Study to merit
+his Approbation.
+
+Com.
+Mr. Pasquin you have it already. I like your manner of exposing the
+Follies of the Public extremely. Your making the Theatre the Scene of
+Action, and the Censure and Approbation of the Audience the Chorusses to
+your Characters upon the Stage, is quite New, and very happily
+immagin'd. But now you have made us acquainted with your Characters.
+I think the sooner you throw them into Action and come to a Conclusion
+the better.
+
+Pas.
+Sir your Criticism is very just; And if Marforio is return'd I will
+proceed to an Examination of the Culprits and close for this night.
+(#Goes to ye side of the Scene#) Promptor, is Marforio come back?
+
+Prom.
+No Sir.
+
+Pas.
+Gentlemen & Ladies, I cannot possibly proceed till he returns. I reckon
+he will be here in about five Minutes; till then I shall take it as a
+Favour if you will step into the Green Room; and, in the mean time The
+Musick, by way of Act Tune, may play God save Great George Our King, to
+keep the Audience in Humour.
+
+Omn:
+Admirable! with all Our Hearts. God save the King. (#Ext Singing God
+save Great George#)
+
+
+
+
+Act. 2.
+
+Enter. All the Characters.
+
+
+Pas.
+Gentlemen and Ladies, pray take Your Places, and now Marforio make your
+return.
+
+Mar.
+Why, this being Masquerade Night there are no Drums or Routs. So we have
+taken up but a very few-- But, as I return'd me Guide led me to the
+other Play House, from whence, by the unanimous Consent of the Audience
+I have brought away a disorderly Lady.
+
+Pas.
+Produce her.
+
+ Marforio brings on Miss Giggle.
+
+Miss Brill.
+Miss Giggle as I live, dear Creature what brings you here?
+
+Gig.
+This Exotic Gentleman, by an Authority from Apollo, as he says----
+
+Omn.
+Ha, ha, ha, ha.
+
+Pas.
+Pray what is the Lady's Offence?
+
+Mar.
+Disturbing the Audience.
+
+Pas.
+In what manner.
+
+Gig.
+Why, I'll tell you Mr. Pasquin. You must know the Play was a Tragedy;
+and several of the Audience were ridiculous enough to cry at it-- And so
+Sr. Charles Empty and I were diverting Our selves with laughing at the
+various Strange Tragical Faces the Animals, exhibited, that's all.
+
+Omn.
+Ha, ha, ha, ha.
+
+Gig.
+Upon this the Goths fell a hissing-- & cry'd out-- out-- out--
+
+Sr. Eter.
+O the Savages!
+
+Mar.
+But there is a further Charge against this Lady; She is said to be a
+common Nusance at the Theatres; and that She frequently Sets the whole
+House in a Titter to the Confusion of the Actors, & the general
+disturbance of the Audience, by constantly exposing her Nudities to
+Publick View, contrary to the Ideas of female Modesty, and the Laws of
+Decency.
+
+Miss Dy.
+O fye Seignior, how can you make use of so indelicate an Expression.
+A Lady's Nudities, why, you might as well have said-- I vow it is almost
+plain English, I protest such an Expression is enough to get your Farce
+hiss'd off the Stage--
+
+Pas.
+I am extremely Sorry the Phrase offends your Ladyship, but if you will
+Substitute any other.
+
+Dia.
+I think Mr. Drawcansir when those Objects are to be expos'd that--
+a Lady's Proturberances, her Snow balls, or her Lover's Amusements--
+wou'd be much more delicate.
+
+Sr. Rog.
+You are very right Madam, and if they happen to be of the immense kind--
+Cupid's Kettle Drums Mr. Pasquin, wou'd not be an-- unelegant Phrase,
+ha, ha, ha.
+
+Omn.
+Ha, ha, ha, ha.
+
+Pas.
+Your Ladyship is quite right, go on with the Charge.
+
+Mar.
+That the moment this Lady appears in the Boxes the grave part of the
+fair Sex are seen to put their Fans before their Faces; and are heard to
+whisper one another-- Lud what an indecent Sight Miss Giggle's Neck is--
+It is really quite obscene! I wonder somebody does not tell her of it,
+then the Men, they are all in a high Grin; and the Smarts are frequently
+heard to roar out-- O Gad-- they are ravishingly White, and smooth as
+polish'd Marble!
+
+Dia.
+Mr. Pasquin observing upon the whiteness or smoothness of a Lady's
+Circumstances is not so Chaste as I cou'd wish.
+
+Pas.
+Your Ladyship is in the Right, pray omit those Amorous Exclamations; for
+tho' they may be the genuin Language of the Smarts, and may be thought
+Wit and Humour amongst themselves, yet upon the Stage such warm
+Expressions will be Condemned.
+
+Gig.
+Well, Mr. Pasquin, what is Your Highness's Censure upon this dreadfull
+Affair. ha, ha, ha.
+
+Pas.
+Upon my word Madam, I see no Crime in a desire to please; which I
+suppose was Your Ladyship's Motive. on the Contrary, I have always heard
+it asserted by the Iudicious in dress, that a fine Woman can never shew
+too much--
+
+Gig.
+Sir I am infinitely Obliged to you, (#bowing very low#) for your
+Compliment.
+
+Dia.
+Mr. Pasquin, you will forfeit my good Opinion-- I assure you, if you
+encourage such proceedings. This Lady's indecency is remarkable, and,
+for public Example, you ought to have Satyriz'd her severely; for there
+are a Set of them go about on purpose to Exhibit as the Men Phrase it.
+
+Sr. Rog.
+You are very right Madam and if there be not a stop put to it, they may
+in time become Adamites, and go without so much as a Fig leaf.
+
+Pas.
+It is a very great Offence against the Laws of Decency to be sure Madam,
+and in my next Piece I shall give the Coquets no Quarter.-- Your next
+Culprit Marfario.
+
+Mar.
+I as Extraordinary a ffigure as ever was Exhibited upon a Theatre. here,
+Desire that naked Lady to walk in.
+
+Dia.
+O Heav'ns! a naked Lady:-- Why sure Mr. Pasquin, you don't mean to
+expose such an Object.
+
+Sr. Rog.
+Zounds, let her come in.
+
+Omn.
+Ay, ay, produce her, produce her.
+
+Sr. Rog.
+Lets have her. lets have her! of all things let us have a naked Lady--
+If she be-- handsome Pasquin I'll engage your Farce runs a hundred
+Nights-- I'll hold a Hogshead of Claret to a Gill, she pleases more than
+the Ostrich.
+
+Sr. Et:
+Why, Mr. Pasquin, you will frighten all the Ladies out of the Boxes.
+I see several of them now that are ready to faint at the bare Idea of a
+naked Object.
+
+Pas.
+You need not fear Sr. Eternal, there shall be nothing exhibited by me
+offensive to decency or Modesty! Pray lett the Lady walk in, she will be
+the best Apology for the Expression.
+
+ Enter. Lady Lucy Loveit in a Venetian mask, dress'd in a very short
+ Pet: en l'air Slippers, no Stays, her Neck bare, in a Compleat
+ Morning Dress of a very high-bread Woman of Quality.
+
+Ly. Lucy.
+Iack Hydra (#running up to him#) do you know me? Miss Brilliant Your
+Servant-- what you are come to see the New Farce? you never miss a first
+Night I think-- well what is to become of poor Pasquin, damn'd I
+Suppose.
+
+Brill.
+Inevitably Madam unless the Spirit of your Character saves him.
+
+Ly. Lucy.
+O your Servant Madam-- Miss Giggle shall wee see you at the Masquerade
+to Night?
+
+Gigg.
+Certainly-- who can She be? She is very elegantly dress'd.
+
+Hyd.
+By all that's whimsical it is Lady Lucy, come, come, unmask, unmask,
+there is no veiling the Sun.
+
+Ly. Lucy.
+O you fulsome Creature [#she unmasks#] from what Antiquated Romance did
+you Steal that vile Compliment.
+
+Omn.
+Lady Lucy.
+
+Ly. Lucy.
+Ladies your Servant. do you know that I am immensly delighted at meeting
+so much good Company here?
+
+Hyd:
+You dear Romantic Angel, what brought you hither thus equipt?
+
+Ly. Lucy.
+My dear, I am dress'd for the Masquerade; and was just Steping into my
+Chair to go to Lady High-Lifes; who Sees Masks to night, when this
+worthy Weight, with great Civility, told me he had a Warrant from Apollo
+to take up all disorderly Persons, and said I must go before Monsieur
+Drawcansir, the Censor of Great Britain.
+
+Omn.
+Ridiculous.
+
+Ly. Lucy.
+I was pleas'd with the Conceit; so hither I am come to attend his
+Worship.
+
+Hyd.
+You dear Wild Creature.
+
+Ly. Lucy.
+Have you had any Sport.
+
+Hyd.
+Infinite-- we have had such hissing, and clapping and laughing-- poor
+Pasquin has been roasted devilishly.
+
+Ly. Lucy.
+O Lud, I am Sorry for that. prithee introduce me to him.
+
+Hyd.
+Mr. Pasquin your Friend Marforio was mistaken in this Lady; she is a
+Woman of Fashion, the Celebrated Lady Lucy Loveit, who has made great
+part of the Tour of Europe in Cavalier.
+
+Pas.
+Sir I have had the Honour of seeing the Lady Abroad, the last time I
+perform'd upon the Italian Theatre in Paris.
+
+Ly. Lucy.
+Well Mr. Pasquin, tho' I am brought before you, As an Offender, I am
+vastly glad to see you in England. perhaps they may not relish you at
+first but I am sure you will take when once the Canaille come to
+understand you. I'll send you a thousand Anecdotes of my own
+Acquaintance. I will let you into the Secrets of every Intrigue, Family,
+and Character, from Pall. Mall to Grosvenor Square.
+
+Pas.
+That will hit my plans exactly, Madam.
+
+Ly. Lucy.
+I know it will [#whispers to him#] let me tell you there are some
+Characters present wou'd make Admirable Sport upon the Stage. there is
+Miss Single-Life, that pretended Old Maid is an immense fine one. I can
+give you all the Out-lines & some of the most glaring Colours of her
+Character.
+
+Pas.
+Madam, I shall take it as a Singular Favour.
+
+Ly. Lucy.
+I'll give it aloud before her Face, as of another Person, Mr. Pasquin.
+
+Pas.
+O dear Madam, that will be vastly kind, and quite polite.
+
+Ly. Lucy.
+Miss Dy-- My dear, I am going to describe a Character to Seignior
+Pasquin for his next piece.
+
+Dia.
+Madam, the Company will be ineffably Oblig'd to you.
+
+Ly. Lucy.
+You must know, my dear, the History of the Lady is this-- Her Intellects
+are as odd and as aukward as her Person; her mind a Composition of
+Hypocrisy and Vanity; her Head, like the Study of Don Quixot, Stuffed
+with the exploded-- Romances-- of the two last Centuries-- her Style the
+quaint Quintessence of Romantic Fustian, and her Manners those of a
+Princess in an Inchanted Castle.
+
+Omn.
+Ha, ha, ha, ha.
+
+Dia.
+Your Ladyship has a most masterly Hand in Colouring.
+
+Ly Lucy.
+The vain Creature endeavours to pass upon the World for five and
+twenty-- A Maid & Strictly Virtuous-- but is fifty at least-- grey as a
+Badger-- has had three Children-- one by her Coachman-- One by a Horse
+Granadier-- and one by her present Friend-- the tall Straping Irishman,
+whom they call the Captain. ha, ha, ha.
+
+Omn.
+Ha, ha, ha, ha.
+
+Hyd.
+My dear Lady Lucy, you are the very Hogarth of Ridicule, there is no
+mistaking the-- Original [#apart#] see, see poor Miss Dy. how She Miffs.
+the strapping Irishman was too plain.
+
+Omn.
+Ha, ha, ha, ha, O too plain, too plain.
+
+Ly. Lucy
+Not in the least, it will give the Old Lady a Complexion, She wants it,
+besides I was Indebted to her, for a full length She gave of me the
+other Day, to a Country Gentlewoman at Lady Tattle-Tongues
+
+Miss Dia.
+There is no being blind to this. I must return the Civility [#aside#]
+And pray Mr. Pasquin let me recommend a Character to Your Worship.
+
+Hyd.
+Ay, now, now for it Lady Lucy, She'll [#apart#] draw your Likeness.
+
+Ly. Lucy.
+Sir, She has my leave, tho' She had the Talents of a Brugier with the
+Ill nature of a Swift.
+
+Miss Dia.
+The Character I mean Sir, is not immaginary, invented by Slander and
+Malice, but a true Copy of a universally known Original, which is a
+trifling, wanton femal Rake: composed of Folly, rudeness, and Indecency.
+whose Vanity is in pursuit of ev'ry Fellow of Fashion She Sees, and
+whose Life is a continual Round of vain Inconstancy.
+
+Omn.
+Ha, ha, ha, ha.
+
+Ly Lucy.
+Very good out-lines upon Honour-- I fancy her Malice will Stir up some
+tollerable Ideas-- pray proceed Madam, ha, ha, ha, [#_laughing
+ridiculously & mimick'd by the other_#]
+
+M. Dia.
+Ha, ha, ha, O Lud Madam, I intended it-- I shall finish up the Picture
+to a perfect Resemblance, you may depend upon it. ha, ha, ha, ha.
+
+Ly Lucy.
+Well, you are an agreeable, young, blooming, giddy Creature; and really
+Miss your little-- youthfull prettiness becomes you. But Miss Dy-- the
+Charactor, the Charactor-- come I'll Sit for you; to quicken your
+Ideas-- you left off at vain Inconstancy.
+
+Miss Dia.
+I did so Madam-- and I will take it up at her affected Taste and
+Politeness if you please which Consist in praising ev'ry thing that's
+Foreign and in constantly ridiculing the Customs and Manners of her own
+Country tho' She herself is the most ridiculous Objection in the Nation.
+ha, ha.
+
+Omn.
+Ha, ha, ha, ha.
+
+Ly. Lucy.
+Admiral! I vow Miss Dy. You have a very Lively Immagination-- at your
+Years, ha, ha, ha-- and very Charecteristic. I am amazed You never writ
+a Comedy. ha-- ha-- ha-- ha.
+
+Miss Dia.
+When I do Madam, You may be sure I shall enliven it with Lady Lucy
+Loveit's Character.
+
+Ly. Lucy.
+She will be vastly Oblig'd to you-- for you will certainly do it great
+Iustice.
+
+Sr. Rog.
+Zounds Ladies have done with Your abuse and let the Farce go on; It was
+funny enough at First, but you continue it too long.
+
+Com.
+Sir Roger is Right Mr. Pasquin; you have made your Ladies talk too much.
+and their Raillery was a little to plain.
+
+Pas.
+I did that Sir on purpose to preserve a consistency of Character; for I
+thought it impossible, when Ladies were in a view of Slander, to make
+them Speak too plain, or too much.
+
+ #Count Hunt-Bubble behind ye Scenes#
+
+Count.
+Where is the Scoundrell? damn me, I'll break the Rascal's Head.
+
+Officer.
+Knock him down-- knock him down-- take away his Sword-- take away his
+Sword.
+
+Pas.
+Some Quarrell I apprehend.
+
+Count.
+You Scoundrells, I am a Gentleman, and I'll run the first Man through
+that Offers to lay hold on me.
+
+Dia.
+O Lud I am afraid there will be somebody kill'd.
+
+Pas.
+I beg Pardon-- We must Stop for a moment, something extraordinary has
+happen'd-- I'll go See what it is-- Possibly Some Quarrel behind the
+Scenes [#Ex: Pas.#]
+
+Count.
+How dare You-- You Rascal-- A Lady's Character-- knock him down-- I'll
+teach him to bring Gentlemen's Character upon the Stage.
+
+Pas.
+Pray Sir hear me,-- I have not done it.
+
+Count.
+Knock him down; beat him to Mummy.
+
+ Enter Pasquin disorder'd and Bloody.
+
+Pas.
+Gentlemen, I hope you'll protect me-- You See how I am us'd.
+
+Omn.
+What's the matter, what's the matter?
+
+Pas.
+Why a Madman, being Spirited on by three or four Gamesters, drew his
+Sword upon me, and says I ought to be run through the Body, for bringing
+Gentlemen and Ladies' Characters upon the Stage.
+
+Hyd:
+Do you know the Gentleman?
+
+Pas.
+Very well Sir; he is one Mr Strictland of Somersetshire
+
+Hyd.
+Why the Man's mad-- Was it he wounded You?
+
+Pas.
+No Sir, it was a Gentleman that is with Him, whom they call the Count,
+a great Gamester
+
+Hyd.
+You shou'd have him Secur'd.
+
+Pas.
+He is in Custody Sir.
+
+Sr. Rog.
+Zounds let us have him brought before the Town.
+
+Pas.
+Indeed, if I thought the Audience wou'd not be displeas'd at it, I wou'd
+bring him on, and expose him; for he is a common Gamester, tho' he
+pretends to be a Man of Fashion.
+
+Hyd.
+I dare say the Audience will be glad, and will like the Fun of It.
+
+Pas.
+What do you Say Gentlemen? shall I bring him on? If you say the Word,
+I'll have him examin'd upon the Stage, before you all.
+
+Sr. Rog.
+Zounds, we are the Town, and we will have him on, whether you will
+or no.
+
+Omn.
+Ay, ay, on, on, on, on, on.
+
+Pas.
+Gentlemen-- I thank you; Did not I tell you Mr. Hydra, that they wou'd
+Act their Parts with Universal Applause. Why Sir, the French Pit, Boxes,
+and Galleries, are nothing to the English for vivacity & Spirit, they
+cou'd not have Perform'd their Parts with half this Fun and good Humour.
+This now, Gentlemen is after the manner of Aristophanes, and the Italian
+Pasquinades. (Exit Pasquin)
+
+ Enter Pasquin immediately with Count Hunt-Bubble in Mourning.
+
+Pas.
+Sir you shall come before the Audience.
+
+Count.
+Why, you Rascal, do you think I am afraid. Gentlemen and Ladies Your
+Servant [#bowing to the Audience#] I is a Fellow to be Countenanced in
+bringing Gentlemen's Characters upon the Stage.
+
+Pas.
+I am sure Sir, I shall be Iustifiable in bringing you upon the Stage.
+And so I have ye Approbation of the Town, I don't value what You or any
+Sharpor can do to me.
+
+Count.
+Who Says I am a Sharpor.
+
+Pas.
+The whole City of Westminster; By whom, Sir, amongst many others, You
+are Presented as a Nusance.
+
+Gentlemen, I have a Petition here, in my hand, against him and several
+others, that will raise the utmost Indignation in every hones Breast--
+Which, with leave of the Audience, I will read. Is it Your Pleasure that
+I shou'd read it.
+
+Omn.
+Ay, ay, read it, read it.
+
+ To his most Equitable & Satyrical Worship, Seignior Pasquin. Censor
+ of Great Britain.
+
+ The humble Petition of Lord Love-Play, in Behalf of Himself and
+ many others.
+
+ Sheweth.
+
+ "That your Petitioners were, by Descent, the lawful Inheritors of
+ very great Fortunes; But, by the Arts and Combinations of the Noted
+ Hunt-Bubble, and the Knot-- And, by what is commonly called Playing
+ all the Game, Your Petitioners have been stript of their large
+ Possessions to the utter Ruin of themselves and their distressed
+ Families.
+
+ "That your Petitioners, who once made the most Splendid Appearance
+ at New Market, Whites, Georges, Bath, Tunbridge, and all Public
+ Places, are now in the most deplorable Condition.
+
+ "From these Premises, Your Petitionors humbly pray that Your
+ Equitable Worship will take their distress'd State into
+ Consideration, and Decree such Redress as to Your Satyrical
+ Worship shall seem meet--
+
+ "And your bubbled Petitioners shall ever pray."
+
+Com.
+Mr. Pasquin, your bringing such Men to Iustice, is a Public good, and
+deserves Public Thanks. They are Charactors that all Men destest, and
+that all Men wish to See punish'd.
+
+Pas.
+Sir you don't know half the Villany of these Men. Play, in its most
+Honourable Commerce, is a pernicious Vice, but as Luxury, Fashion and
+Avarice, have improved it all over Europe, It is now become an avow'd
+System of Fraud and Ruin. The virtuous and Honourable, who Scorn
+Advantage, are a constant Prey to the vicious and dishonourable, who
+never Play without one. nor does the Vice Stop here: For the Sharper
+having Stript his Bubble of his Estate, he next Corrupts his Mind, by
+making him a Decoy-Duck, in Order to retrieve his Fortune as he lost It.
+And, from an indegent Virtuous Bubble, the Noble Youth becomes an
+Affluent vicious Sharper.
+
+Com.
+The Observation, is but too true; And it is Pity the _Ligislature_ do
+not contrive some Speedy Method to put an Effectual Stop to such impious
+Practices.
+
+Pas.
+Thus, instead of Virtue, Honour and Noble Sentiments being Sown in the
+Minds of Youth they are tainted with Fraud and Treachery; and those,
+who should be the Support and Ornament of their Country, are the
+Confederates of Men, who would be a disgrace to the worst of Countries,
+in its worst of Times.
+
+Omn.
+Bravo, bravo, Pasquin, go on, go on [#they Applaud him#]
+
+Smart.
+Does he not speak very well Hydra! I think he would make a good Figure
+at the Robin Hood Society.
+
+Count.
+Sr, You grow licentious and Attack the whole Body of Nobility. and what
+you have uttered is a Libell.
+
+Pas.
+Sr. it is You that Libel by your Application my Charge is not against
+any particular Person, Degree, Rank, or Set of Men, but against known
+Profess'd Sharpers; Who, under the Mask of Honour, Amusement and
+Friendship, dayly Commit Crimes that deserve the Hangman's lash rather
+than the Satyrist's.
+
+Mar.
+Gentlemen, this Invective is most unjust, and as I am Council on the
+Side of Count Hunt-bubble and Company, I hope you will indulge me a
+moment, while I explain what the Law of Parnassus is in these Cases.
+
+Omn.
+Hear him, hear him, go on, go on.
+
+Mar.
+In the Records of that State, the Act of Gaming is not deem'd a Crime,
+but a Science. For the famous Barron de Frippon, in his Institutes, Fol:
+1st Chap: 3. P. 17, justly calls it the Noble Science of Defence. which
+is as necessary to be Study'd by the Nobility of ev'ry Nation, as the
+Small Sword, or the Art of War.
+
+Count.
+You are right Marforio-- for Gaming is an Absolute State of War; In
+which ev'ry Man must kill or be kill'd; Consequently all Advantages are
+Justified by the Law of Self Defence.
+
+Omn.
+Go on Marforio.
+
+Mar.
+Gentlemen. The wise Spartans, as an Encouragement to Ingenuity, always
+reward the thieving Genius, who came off unsuspected, and punish'd the
+Blockhead who had not Sufficient Art to Conceal his Theft, In Parnussus
+the Law is the same relating to Frauds in Play; Tho' it is notorious
+that this Gentleman has Play'd the best of the Game a thousand times,
+yet it does not Appear that he has ever been detected in a fraud.
+
+Count.
+Never, but once, I assure you: and then I instantly Challeng'd the Man,
+who charg'd me with it, ran him three times through the Body, disarm'd
+him, made him beg his Life, and ask my Pardon in Public and ever since
+no Man has dared to Whisper a Suspicion of me.
+
+Mar.
+O it's plain the Gentleman's Character is untainted, and has a Right to
+Rank as a Man of Honour and a Genius-- and, instead of Censure, is
+intitled to the Order of the Chevaliers de Aventuries-- with which, Sir,
+you shall be Strait invested.
+
+Here! Order Sr. Iohn Ketch to attend with the Insignia of Gaming, and
+let him invest the Noble Count.
+
+ Enter Sr. Iohn Ketch, with a Rope and a Dice Box fasten'd to it as
+ a George, and dice in the Box, and a Knave of Diamonds in his Hand.
+
+Sr. Iohn.
+Please to kneel Sir [#To Count bubble who kneels#] I, Sr. Iohn Ketch,
+Knight, and Officer of Parnassus, by Virtue of a Power from Appollo,
+In Consideration of your Subtle and undetectable deceit in the Noble
+Science of Defence, vulgarly call'd Sharping, do invest You With these
+Insignia-- Which are a Ribbon of the Genuin Tyburn garotte, with a Box
+Pendant, two loaded Dice, and a Knave of Diamonds for a Star; bearing
+henceforth, the Arms of Gaming, which are, a Pack of Cards in a Green
+Field; two reoin'd Lords for Supporters, a Cat and nine Tails for a
+Crest and, I have touch'd them for a motto; So rise up Count Hunt.
+bubble, Marquiss of Slip Card, Barron de Pharo-Bank, and Knight of the
+Noble Order of Sharpors.
+
+Omn.
+Bravo, bravo (#all Clap#)
+
+Count.
+Seignior Marforio, The Honours you have Conferr'd Me, will bind me Your
+Friend everlastingly. If you call upon me any Evening at the Bedford,
+I shall be glad to See you. To night I am engaged to deal at my Lady
+High-life's;-- His Grace and Miss will be there, and we expect to touch
+roundly. Yours, Yours
+
+Exit
+
+Omn.
+Ha, ha, ha.
+
+Hyd.
+An Admiral Reward for his Ingenuity.
+
+Sr. Eter.
+Extremely ridiculous I vow; and very Iust.
+
+Pas.
+Have you any more Offenders to Produce.
+
+Mar.
+No more-- But here is a Presentment against one Charles Macklin,
+Comedian, of the Theatre Royal in Covent Garden.
+
+Omn.
+Ha, ha, ha, O pray let us hear that.
+
+Pas.
+The Substance of it is, That he hath written a strange hotch-potch
+Farce, and puff'd it upon the Town as written after the manner of
+Aristophanes and the Pasquinades of the Italian Theatre.-- Gentlemen,
+This is an Affair entirely Cognizable to the Town; All I can Say upon it
+is, That, if you Condemn him, I will take Care the Blockhead shall never
+trouble you again-- In the manner of Aristophanes.
+
+Omn.
+Ay, ay, damn him, Damn him.
+
+Omn.
+No, no, Save him, save him.
+
+Pas.
+Well Gentlemen, since you are divided we must respit Sentence till
+he appears in Person the next Court day. Gentlemen and Ladies, Our
+Examinations are over for to Night. We must adjourn, for I am afraid we
+have detain'd the Town too long.
+
+Hyd.
+Mr. Pasquin, You have Satyrized Your Sharpor with great Humour and
+Propriety. And I like the Choice of several of your Characters very
+well. But I am afraid the Critics will Condemn Your Piece for want of a
+Plot
+
+Bob.
+Very true, You shou'd have had a Plot Pasquin.
+
+Pas.
+Bless me Gentlemen! I am amaz'd at this Criticism. I expected great
+Approbation for the Newness and Dexterity of my Plot.
+
+Hyd.
+Ay! pray what is the Plot?
+
+Pas.
+I thought, by this time that it was known to ev'ry Person in the
+Audience. The Plot Sir, is, the filling of this House-- don't you see
+how thick it is.
+
+Hyd.
+Ha, ha, ha, ha, very well, and now it is unravelled; extremely Clear!
+a very good Plott I protest.
+
+Omn.
+O very Clear, very clear.
+
+Dia.
+But Mr. Pasquin, You have no love, nor Marriage in Your Farce; that is a
+fault, a very great fault.
+
+Pas.
+Madam, I have vast Quantity of Love in It, as much as wou'd make half a
+dozen modern Romances; But I was advised, by some Dramatick Friends,
+not to let it appear too soon. For Love, in a Farce, they said, was
+generally very dull, and what the English Audience always Complain'd of.
+But now we are come to unravel the Plot-- It must be known, that Lady
+Lucy, Mr. Hydra, Sir Eternal, Miss Brilliant, and all the Characters,
+have a most Passionate Tendre for each other, and have Privately agreed
+that this shall be the Happy Night. And, as to a Wedding, I have taken
+particular Care of that, for among the disorderly Persons that were
+Seized, by mistake, they have taken up a Gentleman that lives near May
+Fair, who waits in the Green Room to Sign the Passport of each loving
+Pair to The land of Hymen. And this, I think, is as much Love, Plot and
+Marriage, as is necessary in any Farce.
+
+Hyd.
+Upon Honour, I am of your Opinion Mr. Pasquin. And I like your
+Catastrophes extremely. Mr. Common Sense, what is your Opinion?
+
+Com.
+For my part Sir, I am pleased with the whole Piece, and think the
+Critics, in particular, must approve of it highly; As it is written up
+to the Strictest Nicety of Dramatic Rules. Against the next Night, Mr.
+Pasquin, you must omit, or alter some exceptionable Expressions, And, if
+you were to prune a few Redundances, the whole Piece wou'd be the better
+for it.
+
+Pas.
+Your Criticism, Mr. Common Sense, is always Iust, and I shall implicitly
+observe it.
+
+Com.
+And now, Mr. Pasquin, the sooner you come to your Peroration the better.
+
+Omn.
+Ay, ay, the Peroration, the Peroration-- come, Mount the Rostrum, Mr.
+Pasquin. The Rostrum, the Rostrum,-- bring on the Rostrum. bring on the
+Rostrum!
+
+ The Rostrum is brought on.
+
+ Pasquin Ascends.
+
+Pas.
+Most August, Respectable, and Tremendous Public! whose Power is as
+uncontrolable as the Boundless Winds, whose Iudgement infalable as
+opposeless Fate, Whom Party cannot Sway, Fear Intimidate, Flattery
+influence, nor Interest byass. You are each in the art of Government,
+a Lycurgus; in the Art of War, a Caesar; In Criticism an Aristotle;
+In Eloquence a Tully; In Patronage a Mecenas; In Taste and Elegance,
+a Patronius.
+
+Hyd.
+Harkee, harkee, Domine Pasquin, this Panegerick is quite out of
+Character, and Shews great Ignorance of the People You are Addressing.
+For know Sir, that the British Public has too much Dignity and Sense,
+either to give, or to recieve, Flattery. Your best way of gaining their
+Esteem, is by preserving Your Character, to the last, of a General
+Satyrist my Dear, not. by degenerating to a Public Sycophant.
+
+Pas.
+I am afraid Sir, I have been too free of my Satyr already.
+
+Com.
+Not at all Sir.-- while it is General and Circumscribed by decency,
+it cannot be too strong for the English. For Our Wit, Sir, like Our
+Courage, knows no danger, Spares no Character.
+
+Bob.
+Right, Right-- Dem me, my dear give us Satyr, keen cutting Satyr, that's
+what Pleases Us-- And as to Your Panegeric, take that to Madrid or
+Paris.
+
+Com.
+Mr. Pasquin, the Public know they have Follies, as well as Individuals;
+and, so far from being Angry with the Man, who ridicules them, they
+always reward him with Approbation and Esteem.
+
+Pas:
+Why then Sir, under the Protection of the Town, and the Patronage of
+Common Sense, I will, like a faithfull Painter, not a modern Dedicator,
+finish up the Blemishes as highly as I have the Beauties of my Patron.
+
+Bob.
+Ay, now, now for the Town, I should be glad to see our own blind side.
+be sure to be Severe, give us no Quarter.
+
+Pas.
+I shall not Sir-- You, the Town, are a Monstor, made up of
+Contrarieties, Caprice Steers-- Steers your Iudgement-- Fashion and
+Novelty, Your Affections; Sometimes so Splenitic, as to damn a Cibber,
+and, even a Congreve, in the Way of the World;-- And some times so
+good-Natured as to run in Crowds after a Queen Mab, or a Man in a
+Bottle.
+
+Hyd.
+Why, the Town are a little whimsical sometimes I believe? I beg pardon
+Mr. Pasquin for breaking in upon You.
+
+Pas.
+O no Offence, Sir, the Town has always a right to interrupt, and disturb
+a Performance. It is their Prerogative, and shews their Taste and their
+good Breeding
+
+Hyd.
+You are right-- go on, go on,-- a good Sensible Fellow, and knows the
+Right and Privilege of the Town, go on, go on.
+
+Pas.
+You are a Being, composed of all the Virtues and Vices, Wisdom and Folly
+of Human Nature. All Men dread you; all Men Court you; All Men love
+You-- and yet All Men strive to be independent of You. For you are so
+inconsistent, that you are Constant in nothing, but Inconstancy---- So
+good Natur'd, so techy, so wise-- and sometimes so otherwise-- In Short,
+so much every thing, that were the whole Sisterhood of the imitative
+Arts in emulous Association joyn'd, with the Genius of your own Great
+Shakespear at their Head, Directing their different Powers, and wing his
+own boundless Imagination into Satyr and Panegirick for the Purpose--
+They could not be too Severe upon Your Vices-- nor could they do Iustice
+to your Matchless Virtues.
+
+Omn.
+Bravo, bravo Pasquin.
+
+Bob.
+A very good Peroration upon Honour; I believe he Stole it from the Robin
+Hood Society
+
+Pas.
+Gratitude and Public Spirit, are the two Noblest Passions, that ever
+warm'd the Heart of Man, or fired the Poets Imagination. They Should be
+the Springs of every Public Character, and are this Night of Pasquin.
+inspired by them he has dar'd laugh at Female Folly and to lash a Noble
+Vice that Lords it in Our most Polite Assemblies. For which, he who was
+late a Iudge and Public Censor in turn, now trembles at Your dread
+Tribunal. The first and last Appeal of Players, Poets, Statesmen,
+Fidlers, Fools, Philosophers and Kings. If, by the boldness of his
+Satyr, or the daring Novelty of his Plan and Fable, He has offended, He
+ought to meet with some degree of Candour, as his Offence was the Effect
+of a Noble Gratitude, and an Over-heated Zeal to Please His Noble Guests
+& Patrons, whom he Scorn'd to treat with Vulgar Cates Season'd and
+Serv'd with Flattery and Common Dramatic Art. For this boldness of his
+Satyr, this is his Defence-- But, for his dulness, he has no Plea. If
+You Almighty Arbiters find him guilty of that Offence, censure him as
+freely as he has censured others. And, like the Roman Censor, he will
+cry out with Patriot Ioy, What Pity 'tis, a Blockhead can be damn'd but
+once, to Please the Critics.
+
+
+Finis.
+
+
+
+
+THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY
+
+ _WILLIAM ANDREWS CLARK MEMORIAL LIBRARY_
+ University of California, Los Angeles
+
+
+PUBLICATIONS IN PRINT
+
+ [Where available, Project Gutenberg e-text numbers are given in
+ brackets.]
+
+
+1948-1949
+
+15. John Oldmixon, _Reflections on Dr. Swift's Letter to Harley . . ._
+(1712) and _A. Mainwaring's The British Academy . . ._ (1712). [25091]
+
+17. Nicholas Rowe, _Some Account of the Life of Mr. William Shakespeare_
+(1709). [16275]
+
+
+1949-1950
+
+22. Samuel Johnson, _The Vanity of Human Wishes_ (1749), and two
+_Rambler_ papers (1750). [13350]
+
+23. John Dryden, _His Majesties Declaration Defended_ (1681). [15074]
+
+
+1950-1951
+
+26. Charles Macklin, _The Man of the World_ (1792). [14463]
+
+
+1951-1952
+
+31. Thomas Gray, _An Elegy Wrote in a Country Churchyard_ (1751), and
+_The Eton College Manuscript_. [15409]
+
+
+1960-1961
+
+85-6. Essays on the Theatre from Eighteenth-Century Periodicals.
+
+90. Henry Needler, _Works_ (1728).
+
+
+1961-1962
+
+93. John Norris, _Cursory Reflections Upon a Book Call'd, An Essay
+Concerning Human Understanding_ (1960)
+
+94. An. Collins, _Divine Songs and Meditacions_ (1653). [In
+Preparation]
+
+95. _An Essay on the New Species of Writing Founded by Mr. Fielding_
+(1751).
+
+96. Hanoverian Ballads.
+
+
+1962-1963
+
+97. Myles Davies, Selections from _Athenae Britannicae_ (1716-1719).
+
+98. _Select Hymns Taken Out of Mr. Herbert's Temple_ (1697).
+
+99. Thomas Augustine Arne, Artaxerxes (1761).
+
+100. Simon Patrick, _A Brief Account of the New Sect of Latitude Men_
+(1662).
+
+101-2. Richard Hurd, _Letters on Chivalry and Romance_ (1762).
+
+
+1963-1964
+
+103. Samuel Richardson, _Clarissa: Preface, Hints of Prefaces, and
+Postscript._ [29964]
+
+104. Thomas D'Urfey, _Wonders in the Sun, or, the Kingdom of the Birds_
+(1706).
+
+105. Bernard Mandeville, _An Enquiry into the Causes of the Frequent
+Executions at Tyburn_ (1725). [In Preparation]
+
+106. Daniel Defoe, _A Brief History of the Poor Palatine Refugees_
+(1709).
+
+107-8. John Oldmixon, _An Essay on Criticism_ (1728). [In Preparation]
+
+
+1964-1965
+
+109. Sir William Temple, _An Essay upon the Original and Nature of
+Government_ (1680).
+
+110. John Tutchin, _Selected Poems_ (1685-1700). [_In Preparation_]
+
+111. Anonymous, _Political justice. A Poem_ (1736).
+
+112. Robert Dodsley, _An Essay on Fable_ (1764).
+
+113. T. R., _An Essay Concerning Critical and Curious Learning_ (1680).
+
+114. _Two Poems Against Pope_: Leonard Welsted, _One Epistle to Mr. A.
+Pope_ (1730), and Anonymous, _The Blatant Beast_ (1742). [21499]
+
+
+
+
+ William Andrews Clark Memorial Library:
+ University of California, Los Angeles
+
+ THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY
+
+
+_General Editors_: Earl Miner, University of California, Los Angeles;
+Maximillian E. Novak, University of California, Los Angeles; Lawrence
+Clark Powell, Wm. Andrews Clark Memorial Library _Corresponding
+Secretary_: Mrs. Edna C. Davis, Wm. Andrews Clark Memorial Library
+
+The Society's purpose is to publish reprints (usually facsimile
+reproductions) of rare seventeenth and eighteenth century works. All
+income of the Society is devoted to defraying costs of publication and
+mailing.
+
+Correspondence concerning subscriptions in the United States and Canada
+should be addressed to the William Andrews Clark Memorial Library, 2205
+West Adams Boulevard, Los Angeles, California. Correspondence concerning
+editorial matters may be addressed to any of the general editors. The
+membership fee is $5.00 a year for subscribers in the United States and
+Canada and 30/- for subscribers in Great Britain and Europe. British and
+European subscribers should address B. H. Blackwell, Broad Street,
+Oxford, England. Copies of back issues in print may be obtained from the
+Corresponding Secretary.
+
+
+PUBLICATIONS FOR 1965-1966
+
+THOMAS TRAHERNE, _Meditations on the Six Days of the Creation_ (1717).
+Introduction by George Robert Guffey.
+
+CHARLES MACKLIN, _The Covent Garden Theatre_ [manuscript] (1752).
+Introduction by Jean B. Kern. [_present text_]
+
+ROGER L'ESTRANGE, _Citt and Bumpkin_ (1680). Introduction by B. J. Rahn.
+[_In Preparation_]
+
+DANIEL DEFOE and Others, Accounts of the Apparition of Mrs. Veal
+(ca. 1705). Introduction by Manuel Schonhorn.
+
+HENRY MORE, _Enthusiasmus Triumphatus_ (1662). Introduction by M. V.
+DePorte.
+
+BERNARD MANDEVILLE, _Aesop Dress'd or a Collection of Fables Writ in
+Familiar Verse_ (1704). Introduction by John S. Shea. [_In
+Preparation_]
+
+
+_ANNOUNCEMENT:_
+
+The Society announces a special publication, a reprint of JOHN OGILBY,
+_The Fables of Aesop Paraphras'd in Verse_ (1668), with an Introduction
+by Earl Miner. Ogilby's book is commonly thought one of the finest
+examples of seventeenth-century bookmaking and is illustrated with
+eighty-one plates. Publication is assisted by funds from the Chancellor
+of the University of California, Los Angeles. Price: to members of the
+Society, $2.50; to non-members, $4.00.
+
+ THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY
+ William Andrews Clark Memorial Library
+ 2205 WEST ADAMS BOULEVARD, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA 90018
+
+Make check or money order payable to THE REGENTS OF THE UNIVERSITY OF
+CALIFORNIA.
+
+
+
+
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+
+Errors and Inconsistencies noted by transcriber:
+
+The two pages beginning "does not Appear that he ..." and ending "...The
+Honours you have Conferr'd" are missing from the facsimile and had to be
+taken from a different source. Some readings are uncertain.
+
+This passage from the opening speech shows the original line length:
+
+ Nobles, -- Commons -- Beaux, Bells -- Wits,
+ Critics, -- Bards & Bardlins, -- and ye my very
+ good Friends of Common Sense, -- tho' last, not
+ least in Merit, -- Greeting, and Patience to you
+
+
+Introduction:
+
+ Sir Archy MacSarcasm in _Love-a-la-Mode_,
+ [_printed "Love/a-la-Mode" at line break_]
+ Pett-en-l'air, which eighteenth-century costume books portray as
+ a short, loose shift
+ [_"Pet: en l'air" or "pet-en-l'air" literally translates as
+ "fart in the air"_]
+
+Covent Garden:
+
+ of the Quorum of Parnassus [_"Quorom" with o corrected to u_]
+ as my whole design is new [_or "be new": text smudged near margin_]
+ So much by way of Oratia now for Action--
+ [_should be "Oration" but looks like "Oratia"_]
+ I will Scour the whole Circle of this metropolis
+ [_text has "of" at line-end, with beginning of next line crossed
+ out and replaced with "of this Metropolis"_]
+ I vow I should be glad of it.
+ [_"vow" corrected from different word, possibly "own" or "know"_]
+ Your hble. Sr. [_written "hble" with line through ascenders_]
+ what the filthy Lawyers call-- Rems in Re
+ [_written as shown; correct word is "Reus"_]
+ Sir Harry and she were least together
+ [_written "least" as shown: garbling of "seen" and "last"?_]
+ the Animals, exhibited [_first e in "exhibited" invisible_]
+ But there is a further Charge against this Lady;
+ [_phrase roughly underlined, apparently by Examiner_]
+ Your Ladyship is quite right, go on with the Charge.
+ [_word "Charge" again underlined: end of cut?_]
+ "they are ravishingly White, and smooth as polish'd Marble!
+ [_no close quote_]
+ Obliged to you, (#bowing very low#) for your Compliment
+ [_stage direction inserted above line_]
+ Ay, ay, produce her, produce her.
+ [_after "Ay, ay", the words "Let her come in" crossed out_]
+ Very well Sir; he is one Mr Strictland of Somersetshire
+ [_original "xxx of xxx" heavily crossed out, with "Strictland of
+ Somersetshire" added at end of line_]
+ Indignation in every hones Breast [_spelling unchanged_]
+ And it is Pity the _Ligislature_ do not contrive
+ [_word "Ligislature" may be underlined by Examiner, along with
+ marginal marks_]
+ a Pack of Cards in a Green Field; two reoin'd Lords for Supporters
+ [_reading uncertain: see note at beginning of Errata_]
+ any Evening at the Bedford ... at my Lady High-life's
+ [_original text may read "at Lady Highlife's"; name is crossed out
+ and "the Bedford" inserted above line; next sentence is written "my
+ Lady's" with "High-life's" added above line_]
+ Yours, Yours [_duplication in original_]
+ Condemn Your Piece for want of a Plot
+ [_word "Piece" written only as catchword; line "for want of a Plot"
+ inserted at top of page_]
+ You are each in the art of Government
+ [_"art of" inserted above line_]
+ Caprice Steers-- Steers your Iudgement-- [_duplication in original_]
+ It is their Prerogative, and shews their Taste and their good Breeding
+ [_text beginning "and shews..." added after other text_]
+ and wing his own boundless Imagination [_text unchanged_]
+
+Augustan Reprints:
+
+ 99. Thomas Augustine Arne, Artaxerxes (1761).
+ [_printed text repeats title of #100, "Simon Patrick..."_]
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE COVENT GARDEN THEATRE, OR
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