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diff --git a/30678.txt b/30678.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cf980b7 --- /dev/null +++ b/30678.txt @@ -0,0 +1,692 @@ +Project Gutenberg's Supplement to "Punch", 16th December 1914, by Various + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Supplement to "Punch", 16th December 1914 + The Unspeakable Turk + +Author: Various + +Release Date: December 14, 2009 [EBook #30678] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SUPPLEMENT TO PUNCH *** + + + + +Produced by Neville Allen, Malcolm Farmer and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + THE UNSPEAKABLE TURK. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: THE STATUS QUO. + +TURKEY. "WILL YOU NOT STILL BEFRIEND ME?" + +BRITANNIA. "BEFRIEND YOU?--NOT WITH YOUR HANDS OF _THAT COLOUR_!" + +_September 9, 1876._] + +England indignantly protests against the atrocities committed by the +Turk in Bulgaria. + + * * * * * + +"PUNCH" OFFICE, 10 BOUVERIE STREET, LONDON, E.C. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: ONE BUBBLE MORE!! + +_January 6, 1877._] + + +The Turk, once again, makes illusory promises of Reform. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: EVERYBODY'S FRIEND! + +_March 2, 1878._] + +During the Russo-Turkish War a strict neutrality is preserved by +Germany. She is now the "friend" of the Turk. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: THE SUBLIME "SUPER"! + +(REHEARSAL OF GRAND MILITARY DRAMA.) + +STAGE MANAGER. "WHAT ARE _YOU_ TO DO, SIR? WHY, GET WELL TO THE BACK, +AND--_WAVE YOUR BANNER_!!!" + +_September 16, 1882._] + +The Turk makes a great show of denouncing the revolt of Arabi in Egypt. +He is not taken very seriously. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: COOPED UP! + +_October 26, 1889._] + +The Powers, despite the protests of Greece, leave it to the Turk to +restore order in the Island of Crete. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: "DEEDS--NOT WORDS!" + +JOHN BULL. "LOOK HERE,--WE'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR PALAVER! ARE YOU GOING +TO LET THE GIRL GO, OR HAVE WE GOT TO MAKE YOU?" + +_June 15, 1895._] + +The barbarous treatment of Armenia by the Turk compels the intervention +of England, France and Russia. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: A FREE HAND. + +THE UNSPEAKABLE TURK. "HA, HA. THERE'S NO ONE ABOUT! I CAN GET TO +BUSINESS AGAIN."] + +_January 18, 1896._] + +While England is absorbed elsewhere the Turk takes the opportunity to +commit further outrages in Armenia. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: A TURKISH BATH. + +SULTAN. "THEY GAVE IT ME PRETTY HOT IN THAT ARMENIAN ROOM! +BUT--BISMILLAH! THIS IS----PHEW!!"] + +_August 22, 1896._] + +A very "sick man" is the Turk. He goes from bad to worse. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: "TURKEY LIMITED." + +SULTAN. "MAKE ME INTO A LIMITED COMPANY? H'M--AH--S'POSE THEY'LL ALLOW +ME TO JOIN THE BOARD AFTER ALLOTMENT!" + +_November 28, 1896._] + +The Powers consider the advisability of placing the Turk "under +control." + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: TENDER MERCIES! + +DAME EUROPA (_to_ LITTLE CRETE). "DON'T CRY, MY LITTLE MAN. I'VE ASKED +THIS NICE, KIND TURKISH POLICEMAN TO STAY AND TAKE CARE OF YOU!" + +_March 13, 1897._] + +The Turk is given another chance to mend his ways. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: THE SLAVE OF DUTY! + +ADMIRAL JOHN BULL. "NOW THEN, OUT YOU'LL HAVE TO GO!" + +THE UNSPEAKABLE. "WHAT! LEAVE MY BEAUTIFUL CRETE IN A STATE OF DISORDER? +_NEVER!_" + +_September 24, 1898._] + +The incorrigible Turk is deprived of his power to misrule in Crete. He +is consoled by Germany. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: THE MITYLENE MARCH. + +(SOLO FOR THE FRENCH HORN.) + +THE SULTAN. "I DON'T LIKE SOLOS! GIVE ME THE GOOD OLD-FASHIONED EUROPEAN +CONCERTO!" + +_November 13, 1901._] + +France sends a fleet to Mitylene and compels the Turk to respect the +rights of certain French subjects. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: BETWEEN RUSSIA AND THE DEEP SEA. + +_September 9, 1903._] + +Trouble again confronts the Turk. Macedonia, weary of his oppression, +rises in revolt. Russia keeps an eye upon him. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: THE OPTIMIST. + +ABDUL HAMID. "WHAT, ALL THE FLEETS COMING HERE? THAT _WILL_ BE FUN! I +_DO_ HOPE THEY'LL HAVE FIREWORKS!" + +_November 22, 1905._] + +The Powers decide on a Naval Demonstration to compel the Turk to settle +the Macedonian difficulty. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: OUT OF BOUNDS. + +JOHN BULL. "SHOO! SHOO!" + +_May 9, 1906._] + +The Turk tries to grab a bit of Egypt, but his bluster is unsuccessful. +Under pressure he retires, as usual. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: THE THRONE PERILOUS. + +_July 29, 1908._] + +The condition of the Turk is very critical. Internal disorders indicate +a serious danger of collapse. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: THE SALT-WATER CURE. + +SHAH OF PERSIA. "GO ON IN, ABDUL--JUST FOR THE LOOK OF THE THING. YOU +CAN ALWAYS COME OUT IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT." + +SICK MAN OF EUROPE. "YES, I KNOW. BUT ONE GETS SO WET!" + +_August 12, 1908._] + +The Turk makes another specious effort to amend his constitution. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: AT LAST! + +_November 27, 1912._] + +The liberation of Macedonia from the tyranny of the Turk is, at last, +accomplished. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: ARMAGEDDON: A DIVERSION. + +TURKEY. "GOOD! IF ONLY ALL THOSE OTHER CHRISTIAN NATIONS GET AT ONE +ANOTHER'S THROATS, I MAY HAVE A DOG'S CHANCE YET." + +_December 4, 1912._] + +The Turk still has a gleam of hope. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: NO EFFECTS. + +BALKAN LEAGUER. "IT'S YOUR MONEY WE WANT." + +TURKEY. "MONEY, DEAR BOY? SEARCH ME!" + +_March 26, 1913._] + +The ever impecunious Turk. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: SETTLED. + +DAME EUROPA. "YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THE MOST TROUBLESOME BOY IN THE SCHOOL. +NOW GO AND CONSOLIDATE YOURSELF." + +TURKEY. "PLEASE, MA'AM, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?" + +DAME EUROPA. "IT MEANS GOING INTO THAT CORNER--AND STOPPING THERE!" + +_April 2, 1913._] + +The Turk is driven to confine his energies to Asia Minor. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: "DEUTSCHLAND UEBER ALLES." + +KING OF THE HELLENES. "OUR SUCCESS WAS, AS YOU KNOW, ENTIRELY DUE TO +YOU." + +GERMAN EMPEROR. "THANKS, THANKS." (_Aside_) "I SUPPOSE HE CAN'T BE +REFERRING TO OUR ORGANISATION OF THE _TURKISH_ ARMY." + +_September 17, 1913._] + +The decisive defeat of the Turk by the Greeks and their Allies is a +bitter blow to Germany. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: ANOTHER PEACE CONFERENCE. + +TURKEY (_to Greece_). "AHA! MY YOUNG FRIEND, ALONE AT LAST! NOW WE CAN +ARRANGE A REALLY NICE TREATY." + +_October 8, 1913._] + +The Turk makes a desperate effort to get Greece into a quiet corner. + + * * * * * + +[Illustration: HIS MASTER'S VOICE. + +THE KAISER (_to Turkey, reassuringly_). "LEAVE EVERYTHING TO ME. ALL +YOU'VE GOT TO DO IS TO EXPLODE." + +TURKEY. "YES, I QUITE SEE THAT. BUT WHERE SHALL _I_ BE WHEN IT'S ALL +OVER?" + +_November 11, 1914._] + +There is, indeed, no health in the Turk. + + * * * * * + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Supplement to "Punch", 16th December +1914, by Various + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SUPPLEMENT TO PUNCH *** + +***** This file should be named 30678.txt or 30678.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/0/6/7/30678/ + +Produced by Neville Allen, Malcolm Farmer and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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