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+ <head>
+ <title>
+ Washington Square Plays, by Various
+ </title>
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+ .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;}
+ .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;}
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+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Washington Square Plays, by Various
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Washington Square Plays
+ Volume XX, The Drama League Series of Plays
+
+Author: Various
+
+Release Date: November 1, 2009 [EBook #3068]
+Last Updated: January 8, 2013
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WASHINGTON SQUARE PLAYS ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Dianne Bean, and David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <h1>
+ <big>WASHINGTON SQUARE PLAYS</big>
+ </h1>
+ <h3>
+ Volume XX, The Drama League Series of Plays
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ 1. The Clod. By Lewis Beach
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ <br />
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ 2. Eugenically Speaking. By Edward Goodman
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ <br />
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ 3. Overtones. By Alice Gerstenberg
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ <br />
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ 4. Helena's Husband. By Philip Moeller
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ <br />
+ </p>
+ <h3>
+ With An Introduction By Walter Prichard Eaton
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ Contents
+ </h2>
+ <table summary="" style="margin-right: auto; margin-left: auto">
+ <tr>
+ <td>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_INTR"> INTRODUCTION </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_PREF"> PREFACE TO THE PLAYS </a>
+ </p>
+ <br />
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> I. THE CLOD </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> II. EUGENICALLY SPEAKING </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0006"> III. OVERTONES </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0007"> IV. HELENA'S HUSBAND </a>
+ </p>
+ </td>
+ </tr>
+ </table>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ Preface By Edward Goodman Director of the Washington Square Players
+ </h2>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Garden City New York
+ Doubleday, Page &amp; Company
+ 1925
+
+ Copyright, 1916, By
+ Doubleday, Page &amp; Company
+
+ The Clod. Copyright, 1914, By Emmet Lewis Beach
+ Eugenically Speaking. Copyright, 1914, By Edward Goodman
+ Overtones. Copyright, 1913, By Alice Gerstenberg
+ Helena's Husband. Copyright, 1915, By Philip Moeller
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In its present form these plays are dedicated to the reading public only,
+ and no performance of them may be given.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Printed In The United States At The Country Life Press, Garden City, N. Y.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_INTR" id="link2H_INTR">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ INTRODUCTION
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ The rigid conventionality of the theatre has been frequently remarked
+ upon. Why the world should ever fear a radical, indeed, is hard to see,
+ since he has against him the whole dead weight of society; but least of
+ all need the radical be dreaded in the theatre. When the average person
+ pays money for his amusements, he is little inclined to be pleased with
+ something which doesn't amuse him: and what amuses him, nine times out of
+ ten, is what has amused him. That is why changes in the theatre are
+ relatively slow, and customs long prevail, even till it seems they may
+ corrupt the theatrical world.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For many generations in our playhouse it was the custom to follow the long
+ play of the evening with an "afterpiece," generally in one act, but always
+ brief, and almost always gay, if not farcical. Audiences, which in the
+ early days assembled before seven o'clock, had to be sent home happy.
+ After the tragedy, the slap-stick or the loud guffaw; after "Romeo and
+ Juliet," Cibber's "Hob in the Well"; after "King Lear," "The Irish Widow."
+ (These two illustrations are taken at random from the programs of the
+ Charleston theatre in 1773.) This custom persisted until comparatively
+ recent times. The fathers and mothers of the present generation can
+ remember when William Warren, at the Boston Museum, would turn of an
+ evening from such a part as his deep-hearted Sir Peter Teazle to the loud
+ and empty vociferations of a Morton farce. The entertainment in those days
+ would hardly have been considered complete without the "afterpiece," or,
+ as time went on, sometimes the "curtain raiser." It is by no means certain
+ that theatre seats were always cheaper than to-day. In some cases,
+ certainly, they were relatively quite as high. But it is certain that you
+ got more for your money. You frequently saw your favorite actor in two
+ contrasted roles, two contrasted styles of acting perhaps, and you saw him
+ from early evening till a decently late hour. You didn't get to the
+ theatre at 8.30, wait for the curtain to rise on a thin-spun drawing-room
+ comedy at 8.45, and begin hunting for your wraps at 10.35. One hates to
+ think, in fact, what would have happened to a manager fifty years ago who
+ didn't give more than that for the price of a ticket. Our fathers and
+ mothers watched their pennies more sharply than we do.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For various reasons, one of them no doubt being the growth of cheaper
+ forms of amusement and the consequent desertion from the traditional
+ playhouse of a considerable body of those who least like, and can least
+ afford, to spend money irrespective of returns, the "afterpiece" and
+ "curtain raiser" have practically vanished from our stage. They have so
+ completely vanished, in fact, that theatre goers have lost not only the
+ habit of expecting them, but the imaginative flexibility to enjoy them. If
+ you should play "Romeo and Juliet" to-day and then follow it with a
+ one-act farce, your audience would be uncomfortably bewildered. They would
+ be unable to make the necessary adjustment of mood. If you focus your
+ vision rapidly from a near to a far object, you probably suffer from
+ eye-strain. Similarly, the jump from one play to the other in the theatre
+ gives a modern audience mind- or mood-strain. It is largely a matter of
+ habit. We, to-day, have lost the trick through lack of practice. The old
+ custom is dead; we are fixed in a new one. If Maude Adams, for instance,
+ should follow "The Little Minister" with a roaring farce, or Sothern
+ should turn on the same evening from "If I Were King" to "Box and Cox," we
+ should feel that some artistic unity had been rudely violated; nor am I at
+ all sure, being a product of this generation, but that we should be quite
+ right.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Matters standing as they do, then, it seems to me that the talk we
+ frequently hear about reviving "the art of the one-act play" by restoring
+ the curtain raisers or afterpieces to the programs of our theatres is
+ reactionary and futile. All recent attempts to pad out a slim play with an
+ additional short one have failed to meet with approval, even when the
+ short piece was so masterly a work as Barrie's "The Will," splendidly
+ acted by John Drew, or the same author's "Twelve Pound Look," acted by
+ Miss Barrymore. Nor is it at all certain that the one-act plays of our
+ parents and grandparents and great-grandparents, the names of which you
+ may read by the thousands on ancient playbills, added anything to the
+ store of dramatic literature. Some of them are decently entombed in the
+ catacombs of Lacy's British Drama, or still available for amateurs in
+ French's library. Did you ever try to read one? Of course, there was "Box
+ and Cox," but it is doubtful if there will be any great celebration at the
+ tercentenary of Morton's death. For the most part, those ancient
+ afterpieces were frankly padding, conventional farces to fill up the bill
+ and send the audiences home happy. To the real art of the drama or the
+ development of the one-act play as a form of serious literary expression,
+ they made precious little contribution. They were a theatrical tradition,
+ a convention.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But the one-act play, nonetheless, has an obvious right to existence, as
+ much as the short story, and there are plentiful proofs that it can be as
+ terse, vivid, and significant. Most novelists don't tack on a short story
+ at the end of their books for full measure, but issue their contes either
+ in collections or in the pages of the magazines. What similar chances are
+ there, or can there be, for the one-act play, the dramatic short story?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ An obvious chance is offered by vaudeville. The vaudeville audience is in
+ the mood for rapid alterations of attention; it has the habit of variety.
+ This is just as much a convention of vaudeville as the single play is now
+ a convention of the traditional theatre. Indeed, anything longer than a
+ one-act play in vaudeville would be frowned upon. Any one wishing to push
+ the analogy can find more than one correspondence between a vaudeville
+ program and the contents of a "popular" magazine; each, certainly, is the
+ present refuge of short fiction. Yet vaudeville can hardly be considered
+ an ideal cradle for a serious dramatic art. (Shall we say that the analogy
+ to the "popular" magazine still holds?) The average "playlet"&mdash;atrocious
+ word&mdash;in the variety theatres is a dreadful thing, crude, obvious,
+ often sensational or sentimental, usually very badly acted at least in the
+ minor recircles, and still more a frank padding, a thing of the
+ footlights, than the afterpiece of our parents. It has been frequently
+ said by those optimists who are forever discovering the birth of the arts
+ in popular amusements that vaudeville audiences will appreciate and
+ applaud the best. This is only in part true. They will appreciate the best
+ juggler, the cleverest trained dog, the most appealing ballad singer such
+ as Chevalier or Harry Lauder. But they will no more appreciate those
+ subtleties of dramatic art which must have free play in the serious
+ development of the one-act play than the readers of a "popular" magazine
+ in America (or England either) would appreciate Kipling's "They," or
+ George Moore's "The Wild Goose," or de Maupassant's "La Ficelle." To
+ expect them to is silly; and to expect that because the supreme, vivid
+ example of any form is comprehensible to all classes and all mixtures of
+ classes, therefore the supreme example is going to be developed out of the
+ commonplace stuff such mixed audiences daily enjoy, is equally to
+ misunderstand the evolution of an art product in our complex modern world.
+ But, indeed, the matter scarce calls for argument. Vaudeville itself
+ furnishes the answer. Where are its one-act plays which can be called
+ dramatic literature? It is a hopeful sign, perhaps, that certain of the
+ plays in this volume have percolated into the varieties! But they were not
+ cradled there.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ If the traditional theatre, then, is now in a rut which affords no room
+ for the one-act play, and if vaudeville is an empty cradle for this branch
+ of dramatic art, where shall we turn? The one-act play to-day has found
+ refuge and encouragement in the experimental theatres, and among the
+ amateurs. The best one-act plays so far written in English have come out
+ of Ireland, chiefly from the Abbey Theatre in Dublin where they were first
+ acted by a company recruited from amateur players. Synge's "Riders to the
+ Sea," Yeats's "The Hour Glass," the comedies of Lady Gregory and others of
+ that school, have not only proved the power of this form to carry the
+ sense of reality, but its power as well to reach tragic intensity or high
+ poetic beauty. The sombre loveliness and cleansing reality of Synge's
+ masterpiece are almost unrivaled in our short-play literature. Not from
+ the Abbey Theatre, but from the pen of an Irishman, Lord Dunsany, have
+ come such short fantasies as "The Gods of the Mountain" and "The
+ Glittering Gate," which the so-called "commercial" theatre has quite
+ ignored, but which have been played extensively by amateurs and
+ experimental theatres throughout America; and the latter piece,
+ especially, has probably been provocative of more experimental stagecraft
+ and a greater stimulation of poetic fancy among amateur producers than any
+ drama, short or long, written in recent years.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When the Washington Square Players, for the most part amateurs of the
+ theatre, began their experiment in the spring of 1915, they began with a
+ bill of one-act plays. With but two exceptions, all their succeeding
+ productions have been composed of one-act plays, usually in groups of
+ four, the last one for the evening sometimes being a pantomime. (It should
+ be noted that a program of four one-act plays has the unity of a
+ collection. A short play following a long one is overbalanced and the
+ program seems to most of us awry.) The reason for this choice was not
+ entirely a devotion to the art of the one-act play. When players are
+ inexperienced, it is far easier to present a group of plays of one act
+ than it is to sustain a single set of characters for an entire evening.
+ The action moves more rapidly, the tale is told before the monotony of the
+ actors becomes too apparent. Moreover, the difference between the plays
+ helps to furnish that variety which the players themselves cannot supply
+ by their impersonations. Still again, it was no doubt easier for the
+ Washington Square Players to find novelties within their capacity in the
+ one-act form than in the longer medium. At any rate, they did produce
+ one-act plays, and are still producing them.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Four of these plays are presented in this book, four which won approval
+ first on the stage of the Bandbox Theatre and later, acted by other
+ players, in various other theatres. One of them, "Overtones," is a
+ theatrical novelty which if prolonged beyond the one-act form would become
+ monotonous. Another, "Helena's Husband," is a bantering satire, an
+ intellectual "skit," which would equally suffer by prolongation.
+ "Eugenically Speaking" could certainly bear no further extension, unless
+ its mood were deepened into seriousness. Finally, "The Clod" approaches
+ the true episodic roundness of the one-act drama, or the short story, in
+ its best estate. Here is a single episode of reality, taken from its
+ context and set apart for contemplation. It begins at the proper moment
+ for understanding, it ends when the tale is told. There is here more than
+ a hint of the art of Guy de Maupassant. And the episode is theatrically
+ exciting&mdash;a prime requisite for practical performance, and
+ spiritually significant&mdash;a prime requisite for the serious
+ consideration of intelligent spectators. In these four plays, then,
+ written for the Washington Square Players, the one-act form demonstrates
+ its right to our attention and cultivation, for it takes interesting ideas
+ or situations which are incapable of expansion into longer dramas and
+ makes intelligent entertainment of what otherwise would be lost.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Because such organizations as the Abbey Theatre have demonstrated the
+ value of the one-act play in portraying local life, in stimulating a local
+ stage literature; because such organizations in America as the Washington
+ Square Players have demonstrated the superior value of the one-act play as
+ a weapon with which to win recognition and build up the histrionic
+ capacity to tackle longer works; and, finally, because the one-act play
+ offers such obvious advantages to amateurs, it seems fairly certain that
+ in the immediate future, at least, the one-act play in America, as a
+ serious art form, will be cultivated by the experimental theatres, the
+ so-called "Little Theatres," and by the more ambitious and talented
+ amateurs. As our experimental theatres increase in number&mdash;and they
+ are increasing&mdash;it will probably play its part, and perhaps no
+ insignificant a part, in the development of a national drama through the
+ development of a local drama and the cultivation of a taste for
+ self-expression in various communities. It is only when these experimental
+ theatres are sufficient in number, and the amateur spirit has been
+ sufficiently aroused in various communities, that the commercial theatre
+ of tradition will be seriously influenced. When that time comes&mdash;if
+ it does come&mdash;one of the results will undoubtedly be a more flexible
+ theatre, the growth of repertoire companies, the expansion of the
+ activities of popular players. In a more flexible theatre, where
+ repertoire is a rule rather than a strange and dreaded experiment, and
+ where actors pride themselves on versatility and the public honors them
+ for it, the one-act play will again have its place, but not then as a
+ curtain raiser or afterpiece, to pad out an evening or "send the suburbs
+ home happy," but as a serious branch of dramatic art. In that happy day
+ Barrie will not be the only first-class talent in the commercial playhouse
+ daring the one-act form, or at least able to induce a commercial manager
+ to produce his work in that form.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But that time is not yet. The one-act play in our country to-day is an
+ ally of the amateurs and the innovators. For that very reason, perhaps, it
+ is the form which will bear the most watching for signs of imagination and
+ for flashes of insight and interpretative significance.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ WALTER PRICHARD EATON. Stockbridge, Massachusetts.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_PREF" id="link2H_PREF">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ PREFACE TO THE PLAYS
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ If fools did not rush in where theatrical angels fear to tread, this
+ Preface would never have been written. Two years back the Washington
+ Square Players were called, by many who had theatrical experience, fools.
+ Now some term us pioneers. The future may write us fools again, or
+ something better&mdash;the conclusion being that the difference between
+ the fool and the pioneer lies in the outcome; the secret, that the motive
+ power behind both is enthusiasm.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Without enthusiasm the Washington Square Players could never have come
+ into existence, nor survived. From the first, when we had barely enough
+ money for rent and none for the costumes and properties we borrowed and
+ disguised, ours was an enthusiasm strong in quantity as well as quality.
+ The theatre is a peculiar art. Both in production and reception it
+ requires numbers and an enduring faith. Many a similar attempt has failed
+ because its experimentation and expression have been restricted by a
+ single point of view. Many have not continued because the desire has waned
+ in the face of the hardships and sacrifices entailed. But the Players
+ rightly had a plural name. We were, and are, a collection of many
+ individuals&mdash;actors, authors, artists, and art-lovers&mdash;all fired
+ with the sincere desire to give to playgoers something they had not been
+ able previously to find on the American stage. And our desire has been
+ strong enough to face and fight, and to continue to face and fight, the
+ ever-growing, ever-changing problems of finance, art, and human
+ inter-relations, which are the inescapable factors of the theatre.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We believed in the democracy of the drama. But we understand democracy to
+ mean, not the gratification of the taste of the many to the exclusion of
+ that of the few, but the satisfaction of all tastes. We had no quarrel
+ with the stage as it was, save that there wasn't enough of it. We felt
+ there was a public that wanted something other than it could get&mdash;as
+ evidenced by the rise of such institutions as the Drama League&mdash;and
+ that that public was large enough to support what it wanted once it
+ learned where to find it. The problem was to bridge the gap of waiting.
+ And it was met by the sacrifices of all those who worked at first for
+ nothing, and then for little more, so that the Players would not fall into
+ debt in the process of reaching an audience. As an able New York dramatic
+ critic stated, the establishment of the Washington Square Players was
+ merely one more proof that in America, as elsewhere, joy was a greater
+ incentive to work than money.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This enthusiasm among the workers, both in quality and quantity, was
+ generously shared by the spectators. The public which looked for plays,
+ acting and producing different from what it could find on the regular
+ stage, proved us right in believing that it was sufficiently large and
+ interested to warrant our experiment. Critics and patrons gave us from the
+ first, and we hope will continue to give us, that personal interest and
+ sympathetic appreciation which have been among the most vital factors
+ contributing to our growth.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ So far we have produced thirty-two plays, of one-act and greater length,
+ and of these twenty have been American. The emphasis of our interest has
+ been placed on the American playwright, because we feel that no American
+ theatre can be really successful unless it develops a native drama to
+ present and interpret those emotions, ideas, characters, and conditions
+ with which we, as Americans, are primarily concerned.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Of these twenty American plays the Drama League has selected four for this
+ volume of its series. Excluding comment on my farce&mdash;for an author is
+ notoriously unfit to judge his own work&mdash;I think it may be said that
+ these represent a fair example of the success the Players have met with in
+ trying to encourage the writing of American plays with "freshness and
+ sincerity of theme and development; skilful delineation of character;
+ non-didactic presentation of an idea; and dramatic and esthetic
+ effectiveness without theatricalism." They are the early products of a new
+ movement in the American theatre of which we are happy to be a part, and
+ if their publication meets with the sympathetic, appreciative reception
+ that has been accorded their production, we feel and hope that not only
+ these authors, not only the Washington Square Players, but all of the
+ workers in this new movement will be encouraged and stimulated to a
+ further effort, a greater mastery, and a bigger achievement.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ EDWARD GOODMAN, Director of the Washington Square Players. Comedy Theatre,
+ New York, 1916.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ I. THE CLOD
+ </h2>
+ <h3>
+ A One-Act Play
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ By Lewis Beach
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Copyright, 1914, by Emmet Lewis Beach, Jr.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ (Note&mdash;The author acknowledges indebtedness to "The Least of These,"
+ by Donal Hamilton Haines, a short story which suggested the play.)
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "The Clod" was produced by the Washington Square Players, under the
+ direction of Holland Hudson, at the Bandbox Theatre, New York City,
+ beginning January 10, 1916.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the cast, in the order of their appearance, were the following:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ MARY TRASK. Josephine A. Meyer
+ THADDEUS TRASK. John King
+ A NORTHERN SOLDIER. Glenn Hunter
+ A SOUTHERN SERGEANT. Robert Strange
+ A SOUTHERN PRIVATE. Spalding Hall
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ The Scene was designed by John King.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "The Clod" was subsequently revived by the Washington Square Players at
+ the Comedy Theatre, New York City, beginning June 5, 1916. In this
+ production Mary Morris played the part of Mary Trask.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Later it was presented in vaudeville by Martin Beck, opening at the Palace
+ Theatre, New York City, August 21, 1916, with the following cast:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ MARY TRASK. Sarah Padden
+ THADDEUS TRASK. John Cameron
+ A NORTHERN SOLDIER. Glenn Hunter
+ A SOUTHERN SERGEANT. Thomas Hamilton
+ A SOUTHERN PRIVATE. Gordon Gunnis
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ "The Clod" was first produced by the Harvard Dramatic Club, in March,
+ 1914, with the cast as follows:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ MARY TRASK. Christine Hayes
+ THADDEUS TRASK. Norman B. Clark
+ A NORTHERN SOLDIER. Dale Kennedy
+ A SOUTHERN SERGEANT. James W. D. Seymour
+ DICK. Richard Southgate
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ THE CLOD CHARACTERS
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ THADDEUS TRASK
+ MARY TRASK
+ A NORTHERN SOLDIER
+ A SOUTHERN SERGEANT
+ DICK
+</pre>
+ <div class="play">
+ <p>
+ SCENE: The kitchen of a farmhouse on the borderline between the Southern
+ and Northern states. TIME: Ten o'clock in the evening, September, 1863.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The back wall is broken at stage left by the projection at right angles
+ of a partially enclosed staircase, four steps of which, leading to the
+ landing, are visible to the audience. Underneath the enclosed stairway
+ is a cubby-hole with a door; in front of the door stands a small table.
+ To the left of this table is a kitchen chair. A door leading to the yard
+ is in the centre of the unbroken wall back; to the right of the door, a
+ cupboard, to the left, a stove. In the wall right are two windows.
+ Between them is a bench, on which there are a pail and a dipper; above
+ the bench a towel hanging on a nail, and above the towel a
+ double-barrelled shot-gun suspended on two pegs.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the wall left, and well down stage, is a closed door leading to
+ another room. In the centre of the kitchen stands a large table; to the
+ right and left of this, two straight-backed chairs.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The walls are roughly plastered. The stage is lighted by the moon, which
+ shines into the room through the windows, and a candle on table centre.
+ When the door back is opened, a glimpse of a desolate farmyard is seen
+ in the moonlight.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When the curtain rises, THADDEUS TRASK, a man of fifty or sixty years of
+ age, short and thick set, slow in speech and movement, yet in perfect
+ health, sits lazily smoking his pipe in a chair at the right of the
+ centre table.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ After a moment, MARY TRASK, a tired, emaciated woman, whose years equal
+ her husband's, enters from the yard, carrying a pail of water and a
+ lantern. She puts the pail on the bench and hangs the lantern above it;
+ then crosses to the stove.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. Ain't got wood 'nough fer breakfast, Thad.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS. I'm too tired to go out now; wait till mornin'.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [Pause. MARY lays the fire in the stove.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Did I tell ye that old man Reed saw three Southern troopers pass his
+ house this mornin'?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [takes coffee pot from stove, crosses to bench, fills pot with
+ water]. I wish them soldiers would git out o' the neighborhood. Whenever
+ I see 'em passin', I have t' steady myself 'gainst somethin' or I'd
+ fall. I couldn't hardly breathe yesterday when the Southerners came
+ after fodder. I'd die if they spoke t' me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS. Ye needn't be afraid of Northern soldiers.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [puts coffee pot on stove]. I hate 'em all&mdash;Union or Southern.
+ I can't make head or tail t' what all this fightin's 'bout. An' I don't
+ care who wins, so long as they git through, an' them soldiers stop
+ stealin' our corn an' potatoes.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS. Ye can't hardly blame 'em if they're hungry, ken ye?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. It ain't right that they should steal from us poor folk. [Lifts a
+ huge gunny sack of potatoes from the table and begins setting the table
+ for breakfast, getting knives, forks, spoons, plates, cups, and saucers&mdash;two
+ of each&mdash;from the cupboard.] We have hard 'nough times t' make
+ things meet now. I ain't set down onct to-day, 'cept fer meals; an' when
+ I think o' the work I got t' do t'morrow, I ought t' been in bed hours
+ ago.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS. I'd help if I could, but it ain't my fault if the Lord see'd
+ fit t' lay me up, so I'm always ailin'. [Rises lazily.] Ye better try
+ an' take things easy t'morrow.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. It's well 'nough t' say, but them apples got t' be picked an' the
+ rest o' the potatoes sorted. If I could sleep at night it'd be all
+ right, but with them soldiers 'bout, I can't.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS [crosses to right; fondly handles his double-barrelled
+ shot-gun]. Jolly, wish I'd see a flock o' birds.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [showing nervousness]. I'd rather go without than hear ye fire. I
+ wish ye didn't keep it loaded.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS. Ye know I ain't got time t' stop an' load when I see the
+ birds. They don't wait fer ye. [Hangs gun on wall, drops into his chair,
+ dejectedly.] Them pigs has got to be butchered.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. Wait till I git a chance t' go t' sister's. I can't stand it t'
+ hear 'em squeal.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS [pulling off his boots, grunting meanwhile]. Best go soon then,
+ 'cause they's fat as they'll ever be, an' there ain't no use in wastin'
+ feed on 'em. [Pause, rises.] Ain't ye most ready fer bed?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. Go on up.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [THADDEUS takes candle in one hand, boots in other; moves toward
+ stairs.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ An', Thad, try not t' snore to-night.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS [reaching the landing]. Hit me if I do. [Disappears from view.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [MARY fills the kettle with water and puts it on the stove; closes the
+ door back; takes the lantern from the wall, tries twice before she
+ succeeds in blowing it out. Puts the lantern on the table before the
+ cubby-hole. Drags herself up the stairs, pausing a moment on the top
+ step for breath before she disappears from sight. There is a silence.
+ Then the door back is opened a trifle and a man's hand is seen.
+ Cautiously the door is opened wide, and a young NORTHERN SOLDIER is
+ silhouetted on the threshold. He wears a dirty uniform and has a bloody
+ bandage tied about his head. He is wounded, sick, and exhausted. He
+ stands at the door a moment, listening intently; then hastily crosses to
+ the centre table looking for food. He bumps against the chair and
+ mutters an oath. Finding nothing on the table, he moves toward the
+ cupboard. Suddenly the galloping of horses is heard in the distance. The
+ NORTHERNER starts; then rushes to the window nearer the audience. For a
+ moment the sound ceases, then it begins again, growing gradually louder
+ and louder. The NORTHERNER hurries through the door left. Horses and
+ voices are heard, in the yard, and almost immediately heavy thundering
+ knocks sound on the door back. A racket is heard above stairs. The
+ knockers on the door grow impatient, and push the door open. A large,
+ powerful SOUTHERN SERGEANT and a smaller, more youthful TROOPER of the
+ same army enter. At the same time, THADDEUS appears on the stairs,
+ carrying a candle.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT [to THADDEUS; not unkindly]. Sorry, my friend, but you were so
+ darn slow 'bout openin' the door, that we had to walk in. Has there been
+ a Northern soldier round here to-day?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS [timidly]. I ain't seed one.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. Have you been here all day?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS. I ain't stirred from the place.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. Call the rest of your family down.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS. My wife's all there is. [Goes to foot of stairs, and calls
+ loudly and excitedly.] Mary! Mary! Come down right off.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. You better not lie to me or it'll go tough with you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS. I swear I ain't seed no one.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [MARY comes downstairs slowly. She is all atremble.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS. Say, Mary, you was h&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. You keep still, man. I'll question her myself. [To MARY.] You
+ were here at the house all day?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [MARY is very fearful and embarrassed, but after a moment manages to nod
+ her head slowly.] You didn't take a trip down to the store? [MARY shakes
+ her head slowly.] Haven't you got a tongue?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [with difficulty]. Y-e-s.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. Then use it. The Northern soldier who came here a while ago
+ was pretty badly wounded, wasn't he?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. I&mdash;I&mdash;no one's been here.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. Come, come, woman, don't lie. [MARY shows a slight sign of
+ anger.] He had a bad cut in his forehead, and you felt sorry for him,
+ and gave him a bite to eat.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [haltingly]. No one's been near the house to-day.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT [trying a different tone]. We're not going to hurt him, woman.
+ He's a friend of ours. We want to find him, and put him in a hospital,
+ don't we, Dick? [Turning to his companion.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DICK. He's sick and needs to go to bed for a while.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. He ain't here.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. What do you want to lie for?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [quickly]. I ain't lyin'. I ain't seed no soldier.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS. No one could 'a' come without her seein' 'em.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. I suppose you know what'll happen to you if you are hidin' the
+ man? [MARY stands rooted to the spot where she stopped when she came
+ downstairs. Her eyes are fixed on the SERGEANT.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS. There ain't no one here. We both been here all day, an' there
+ couldn't no one come without our knowin' it. What would they want round
+ here anyway?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. We'll search the place.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [quickly]. Ye ain't got no&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT [sharply]. What's that, woman?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. There ain't no one here, an' ye're keepin' us from our sleep.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. Your sleep? This is an affair of life and death. Get us a
+ lantern.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [THADDEUS moves to the table which stands in front of the cubby-hole,
+ and lights the lantern from the candle which he holds in his hand. He
+ hands the lantern to the SERGEANT.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT [seeing the door to the cubby-hole]. Ha! Tryin' to hide the
+ door are you, by puttin' a table in front of it. You can't fool me. [To
+ THADDEUS.] Pull the table away and let's see what's behind the door.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS. It's a cubby-hole an' ain't been opened in years.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT [sternly and emphatically]. I said to open the door.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [THADDEUS sets the candle on the larger table, moves the smaller table
+ to the right, and opens the door to the cubby-hole. Anger is seen on
+ MARY'S face. The SERGEANT takes a long-barrelled revolver from his belt,
+ and peers into the cubby-hole. He sees nothing.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT [returning his revolver to his belt]. We're goin' to tear this
+ place to pieces till we find him. You might just as well hand him over
+ now.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. There ain't no one here.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. All right. Now we'll see. Dick, you stand guard at the door.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [DICK goes to the door back, and stands gazing out into the night&mdash;his
+ back to the audience.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT [to THADDEUS]. Come along, man. I'll have a look at the
+ upstairs. [To MARY.] You sit down in that chair [points to the chair at
+ right of table, and feeling for a sufficiently strong threat]. Don't you
+ stir or I'll&mdash;I'll set fire to your house. [To THADDEUS.] Go on
+ ahead.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [THADDEUS and the SERGEANT go upstairs. MARY sinks almost lifelessly
+ into the chair. She is the picture of fear. She sits facing left.
+ Suddenly she leans forward. The door left is being opened. She opens her
+ eyes wide and draws her breath sharply. She opens her mouth as though
+ she would scream, but makes no sound. The NORTHERNER comes slowly and
+ cautiously through the door. (DICK cannot see him because of the jog in
+ the wall.) MARY only stares in bewilderment at the NORTHERNER, as the
+ man, with eyes fixed appealingly on her, opens the door to the
+ cubby-hole and crawls inside.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DICK. Woman!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [almost with a cry&mdash;thinking that DICK has seen the
+ NORTHERNER]. Yes.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DICK. Have you got an apple handy? I'm starved. [MARY moves to the
+ cupboard to get the apple for DICK. The SERGEANT and THADDEUS come
+ downstairs. The SERGEANT, seeing that MARY is not where he left her,
+ looks about quickly and discovers her at the cupboard.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. Here, what'd I tell you I'd do if you moved from that chair?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [with great fear]. Oh, I didn't&mdash;I only&mdash;he wanted&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DICK. It's all right, Sergeant. I asked her to get me an apple.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. Dick, take this lantern and search the barn. [DICK takes the
+ lantern from the SERGEANT and goes out back.] [To THADDEUS.] Come in
+ here with me. [Takes the candle from centre table.] [The SERGEANT and
+ THADDEUS move toward the door left. As though in a stupor, MARY starts
+ to follow.] Sit down! [MARY falls into the chair at the right of the
+ centre table. The SERGEANT and THADDEUS go into the room at left. They
+ can be heard moving furniture about. MARY'S eyes fall on a pin on the
+ floor. She bends over, picks it up, and fastens it in her belt. The
+ SERGEANT and THADDEUS return.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. If I find him now, after all the trouble you've given me, you
+ know what'll happen. There's likely to be two dead men and a woman,
+ instead of only the Yankee.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DICK [bounding into the room]. Sergeant!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. What is it? [DICK hurries to the SERGEANT and says something
+ in a low voice to him. Satisfaction shows on the latter's face.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. Now my good people, how did that horse get here?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS. What horse?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DICK. There's a horse in the barn with a saddle on his back. I swear
+ he's been ridden lately.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS [amazed]. There is?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. You know it. [To MARY.] Come, woman, who drove that horse
+ here?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [silent for a moment&mdash;her eyes on the floor]. I don't know. I
+ didn't hear nothin'.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS [moving in the direction of the door back]. Let me go an' see.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT [pushing THADDEUS back]. No, you don't. You two have done
+ enough to justify the harshest measures. Show us the man's hiding-place.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS. If there's anybody here, he's come in the night without our
+ knowin' it. I tell ye I didn't see anybody, an' she didn't, an'&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT [has been watching MARY]. Where is he? [The SERGEANT'S tone
+ makes THADDEUS jump. There is a pause, during which MARY seems trying to
+ compose herself. Then slowly, she lifts her eyes and looks at the
+ SERGEANT.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. There ain't nobody in the house 'cept us two.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT [to DICK]. Did you search all the outbuildings?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DICK. Yes. There's not a trace of him except the horse.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT [wiping the perspiration from his face; speaks with apparent
+ deliberation at first, but increases to great strength and emphasis]. He
+ didn't have much of a start of us, and I think he was wounded. A farmer
+ down the road said he heard hoof-beats. The man the other side of you
+ heard nothing, and the horse is in your barn. [Slowly draws revolver,
+ and points it at THADDEUS.] There are ways of making people confess.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS [covering his face with his hands]. For God's sake, don't. I
+ know that horse looks bad&mdash;but as I live I ain't heard a sound, or
+ seen anybody. I'd give the man up in a minute if he was here.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT [lowering his gun]. Yes, I guess you would. You wouldn't want
+ me to hand you and your wife over to our army to be shot down like dogs.
+ [MARY shivers.] [Swings round sharply, and points the gun at MARY.] Your
+ wife knows where he's hid.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [breaking out in irritating, rasping voice]. I'm sure I wish I did.
+ An' I'd tell ye quick, an' git ye out of here. 'Tain't no fun fer me to
+ have ye prowlin' all over my house. Ye ain't got no right t' torment me
+ like this. Lord knows how I'll git my day's work done, if I can't have
+ my sleep.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT [has been gazing at her in astonishment; lowers his gun]. Good
+ God, what a clod! Nothing but her own petty existence. [In different
+ voice to MARY.] I'll have to ask you to get us something to eat. We're
+ famished. [With relief, but showing some anger, MARY turns to the stove.
+ She lights the fire, and puts more coffee in the pot.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. Come, Dick, we better give our poor horses some water. They're
+ all tired out. [In lower voice.] The man isn't here. If he were, he
+ couldn't get away while we're in the yard. [To THADDEUS.] Get us a pail
+ to give the horses some water. [Sees the pails on the bench. Picks one
+ of them up and moves toward the door.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. That ain't the horses' pail.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT [to THADDEUS]. Come along, you can help.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [louder]. That's the drinkin' water pail.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. That's all right.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [The SERGEANT, DICK, and THADDEUS go out back. MARY needs more wood for
+ the fire, so she follows them in a moment. When she has disappeared, the
+ NORTHERNER drags himself from the cubby-hole. He looks as though he
+ would fall with exhaustion. MARY returns with an armful of wood.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [sees the NORTHERNER. Shows no sympathy for the man in this speech,
+ nor during the entire scene]. Ye git back! Them soldiers'll see ye.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ NORTHERNER. Some water. Quick. [Falls into chair at left of table.] It
+ was so hot in there.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [gives him water in the dipper]. Don't ye faint here. If them
+ soldiers git ye, they'll kill me an' Thad. Hustle an' git back in the
+ cubby-hole. [MARY turns quickly to the stove. The NORTHERNER drinks the
+ water; puts dipper on table, then, summoning all his strength, rises and
+ crosses to MARY. He touches her on the shoulder. MARY is so startled,
+ that she jumps and utters a faint cry.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ NORTHERNER. Be still, or they'll hear you. How are you going to get me
+ out of this?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [angrily]. Ye git out. Why did ye come here, a-bringin' me all this
+ extra work, an' maybe death?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ NORTHERNER. I couldn't go any farther. My horse and I were both near
+ dropping. Won't you help me?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. No, I won't. I don't know who ye are or nothin' 'bout ye, 'cept
+ that them men want t' ketch ye. [In a changed tone of curiosity.] Did ye
+ steal somethin' from 'em?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ NORTHERNER. Don't you understand? Those men belong to the Confederacy,
+ and I'm a Northerner. They've been chasing me all day. [Pulling a bit of
+ crumpled paper from his breast.] They want this paper. If they get it
+ before to-morrow morning it will mean the greatest disaster that's ever
+ come to the Union army.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [with frank curiosity]. Was it ye rode by yesterday?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ NORTHERNER. Don't you see what you can do? Get me out of here and away
+ from those men, and you'll have done more than any soldier could do for
+ the country&mdash;for your country.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. I ain't got no country. Me an' Thad's only got this farm. Thad's
+ ailin', an' I do most the work, an'&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ NORTHERNER. The lives of thirty thousand men hang by a thread. I must
+ save them. And you must help me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. I don't know nothin' 'bout ye, an' I don't know what ye're talkin'
+ 'bout.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ NORTHERNER. Only help me get away.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [angrily]. No one ever helped me or Thad. I lift no finger in this
+ business. Why ye come here in the first place is beyond me&mdash;sneakin'
+ round our house, spoilin' our well-earned sleep. If them soldiers ketch
+ ye, they'll kill me an' Thad. Maybe ye didn't know that.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ NORTHERNER. What's your life and your husband's compared to thirty
+ thousand! I haven't any money or I'd give it to you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. I don't want yer money.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ NORTHERNER. What do you want?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. I want ye t' git away. I don't care what happens t' ye. Only git
+ out of here.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ NORTHERNER. I can't with the Southerners in the yard. They'd shoot me
+ like a dog. Besides, I've got to have my horse.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [with naive curiosity]. What kind o' lookin' horse is it?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ NORTHERNER [dropping into chair at left of centre table in disgust and
+ despair]. O God! If I'd only turned in at the other farm. I might have
+ found people with red blood. [Pulls out his gun, and hopelessly opens
+ the empty chamber.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [alarmed]. What ye goin' t' do with that gun?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ NORTHERNER. Don't be afraid. It's not load&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. I'd call 'em in, if I wasn't&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ NORTHERNER [leaping to the wall left and bracing himself against it]. Go
+ call them in. Save your poor skin and your husband's if you can. Call
+ them in. You can't save yourself. [Laughs hysterically.] You can't save
+ your miserable skin. Cause if they get me, and don't shoot you, I will.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [leans against left side of centre table for support; in agony].
+ Oh!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ NORTHERNER. You see, you've got to help me whether you want to or not.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [feeling absolutely caught]. I ain't done nothin'. I don't see why
+ ye an' them others come here a threatenin' t' shoot me. I don't want
+ nothin'. I don't want t' do nothin'. I jest want ye all t' git out a
+ here an' leave me an' Thad t' go t' sleep. Oh, I don't know what t' do.
+ Ye got me in a corner where I can't move. [Passes her hand back along
+ the table. Touches the dipper accidentally, and it falls to the floor.
+ Screams at the sound.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ NORTHERNER [leaping toward her]. Now you've done it. They'll be here in
+ a minute. You can't give me up. They'll shoot you if you do. They'll
+ shoot. [Hurries up the stairs, and disappears from sight.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [MARY stands beside the table, trembling terribly. The SERGEANT, DICK,
+ and THADDEUS come running in.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. What did you yell for? [No answer.] [Seizing her by the arm.]
+ Answer!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. I knocked the dipper off the table. It scared me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT [dropping wearily into chair at left of centre table]. Well,
+ don't drop our breakfast. Put it on the table. We're ready.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [stands gazing at him]. It ain't finished.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ OFFICER [worn out by his day's work and MARY'S stupidity, from now on
+ absolutely brutish]. You've had time to cook a dozen meals. You're as
+ slow as a snail. What did you do all the time we were in the barn?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. I didn't do nothin'.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. You lazy female. Now get a move on, and give us something fit
+ to eat. Don't try to get rid of any left-overs on us. If you do, you'll
+ suffer for it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [MARY stands looking at him.] Don't you know anything, you brainless
+ farm-drudge? Hurry, I said.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [MARY turns to the stove. THADDEUS sits in chair at left of smaller
+ table.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DICK. What a night. My stomach's as hollow as these people's heads.
+ [Takes towel which hangs above the bench and wipes the barrel of his gun
+ with it.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [sees DICK]. That's one of my best towels.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DICK. Can't help it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. 'Tend to the breakfast. That's enough for you to do at one
+ time.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [DICK puts his gun on the smaller table, and sits at right of centre
+ table.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT [quietly to DICK]. I don't see how he gave us the slip.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DICK. He knew we were after him, and drove his horse in here, and went
+ on afoot. Clever scheme, I must admit.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS [endeavoring to get them into conversation]. Have ye rid far
+ to-night, misters?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DICK [shortly]. Far enough.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS. Twenty miles or so?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DICK. Perhaps.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS. How long ye been chasin' the critter?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. Shut up, man! Don't you see we don't want to talk to you. Take
+ hold and hurry, woman. My patience's at an end.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [MARY puts a loaf of bread, some fried eggs, and a coffee pot on the
+ table.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. There! I hope ye're satisfied.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [The SERGEANT and DICK pull their chairs to the table, and begin to
+ eat.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. Is this all we get? Come, it won't do you any good to be
+ stingy. [Obviously, from now on, everything the SERGEANT says drives
+ MARY nearer madness.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. It's all I got.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. It isn't a mouthful for a chickadee! Give us some butter.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY. There ain't none.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. No butter on a farm? God, the way you lie!
+ </p>
+ MARY. I&mdash;
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. Shut up!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ DICK. Have you got any cider?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. Don't ask. She and the man probably drank themselves stupid on
+ it. [Throws fork on floor.] I never struck such a place in my life. Get
+ me another fork. How do you expect me to eat with that bent thing?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [MARY stoops with difficulty and picks up the fork. Gets another from
+ the cupboard and gives it to the SERGEANT.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT. Now give us some salt. Don't you know that folks eat it on
+ eggs?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [MARY crosses to the cupboard; mistakes the pepper for the salt, and
+ puts it on the table.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT [sprinkles pepper on his food]. I said salt, woman! [Spelling.]
+ S-A-L-T. Salt! Salt!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [MARY goes to the cupboard; returns to the table with the salt. Almost
+ ready to drop, she drags herself to the window nearer back, and leans
+ against it, watching the SOUTHERNERS like a hunted animal. THADDEUS sits
+ nodding in the corner. The SERGEANT and DICK go on devouring the food.
+ The SERGEANT pours the coffee. Puts his cup to his lips, takes one
+ swallow; then, jumping to his feet and upsetting his chair as he does
+ so, he hurls his cup to the floor. The crash of china stirs THADDEUS.
+ MARY shakes in terror.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SERGEANT [bellowing and pointing to the fluid trickling on the floor].
+ Have you tried to poison us, you God damn hag?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [MARY screams, and the faces of the men turn white. It is like the cry
+ of the animal goaded beyond endurance.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [screeching]. Call my coffee poison, will ye? Call me a hag? I'll
+ learn ye! I'm a woman, and ye're drivin' me crazy. [Snatches the gun
+ from the wall, points it at the SERGEANT, and fires. Keeps on
+ screeching. The SERGEANT falls to the floor. DICK rushes for his gun.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THADDEUS. Mary! Mary!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [aiming at DICK, and firing]. I ain't a hag, I'm a woman, but ye're
+ killin' me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [DICK falls just as he reaches his gun. THADDEUS is in the corner with
+ his hands over his ears. The NORTHERNER stands on the stairs. MARY
+ continues to pull the trigger of the empty gun. The NORTHERNER is
+ motionless for a moment; then he goes to THADDEUS, and shakes him.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ NORTHERNER. Go get my horse, quick!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [THADDEUS obeys. The NORTHERNER turns to MARY. She gazes at him, but
+ does not understand a word he says.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ NORTHERNER [with great fervor]. I'm ashamed of what I said. The whole
+ country will hear of this, and you. [Takes her hand, and presses it to
+ his lips; then turns and hurries out of the house. MARY still holds the
+ gun in her hand. She pushes a strand of gray hair back from her face,
+ and begins to pick up the fragments of the broken coffee cup.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARY [in dead, flat tone]. I'll have to drink out the tin cup now.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [The hoof-beats of the NORTHERNER'S horse are heard.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Curtain.
+ </p>
+ <br />
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ II. EUGENICALLY SPEAKING
+ </h2>
+ <h3>
+ A One-Act Play
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ By Edward Goodman
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Copyright, 1914, by Edward Goodman
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Eugenically Speaking" was produced by the Washington Square Players,
+ under the direction of Philip Moeller, as part of their first program at
+ the Bandbox Theatre, New York City, beginning February 19, 1915.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the cast, in the order of their appearance, were the following:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ UNA BRAITHEWAITE. Florence Enright
+ GEORGE COXEY. Karl Karsten
+ MR. BRAITHEWAITE. George C. Somnes
+ JARVIS a manservant Ralph Roeder
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ The scene was designed by Engelbert Gminska and Miss Enright's costume by
+ Mrs. Edward Flammer.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Eugenically Speaking" was subsequently revived by the Washington Square
+ Players at the Comedy Theatre, New York City, beginning August 30, 1916.
+ In this production Arthur Hohl played the part of George Coxey; Robert
+ Strange, Wm. Braithewaite; and Spalding Hall, Jarvis.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ CHARACTERS
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ UNA. A girl
+ GEORGE COXEY. A conductor
+ MR. BRAITHEWAITE. A financier
+ JARVIS. A butler
+</pre>
+ <div class="play">
+ <p>
+ TIME: Between to-day and to-morrow.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SCENE: A room in the Braithewaite mansion, richly but tastefully
+ furnished. Among these furnishings it is necessary for the play to note,
+ besides the door at the back, only the table that stands a little to the
+ right of the centre of the room, with a statue on it, and three chairs
+ which stand, one to the right, one to the left, and one in the middle.
+ It is a winter afternoon, and the room is illuminated by invisible
+ lights.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Enter UNA, followed by GEORGE COXEY. UNA is a charming, fashionable girl
+ of twenty with a suave blend of will and poise. GEORGE COXEY is a
+ handsome, well-built, magnetic-looking youth of about twenty-five. He is
+ dressed in the garb of a street-car conductor and carries the cap in his
+ hand. Although somewhat inconvenienced and preoccupied with the novelty
+ of his surroundings and his situation, he remains, in the main, in
+ excellent self-possession, an occasional twinkle in his eye showing that
+ he is even quietly alive to a certain humor in the adventure. Above all,
+ his attitude is that rare one, which we like to feel typical of American
+ youth, of facing an unusual situation firmly, and seeing and grasping
+ its possibilities quickly.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He stands near the door, waiting, examining the room and warming his
+ hands, while UNA goes to the bell and rings it and then proceeds to the
+ mirror to primp a little. When she is finished she turns and notices
+ him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Why, my dear man, sit down. [She points to a chair at the right.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Thanks, after you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [laughs]. Oh! Excuse me. I forgot. You're a car conductor. Naturally
+ you're polite.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Not naturally, Miss. But I've learned.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. An apt pupil, too. Let me teach you then that the ruder you are to
+ a woman, the more she'll hate you&mdash;or love you. [She goes up to him
+ and invites him with a gesture.] Sit down.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [GEORGE remains immobile.] The polite are not only bourgeois, they're
+ boring.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. When I know I'm right, I stick to it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. But you must grow tired of standing.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. If I did, I'd lose my job.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. You have already. Sit down.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE [firmly]. After you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [taking the chair, centre, and sitting on it]. You're splendid. Now!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [GEORGE sits in the offered chair a little stiffly.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Isn't that better than ringing up fares?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE [smiling at his attempt at a pun]. Fairly.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [rising, perturbed]. No! You mustn't do that. That's vulgar.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE [rising in alarm]. What have I done?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [vexed again]. Sit down. You mustn't jump up when I do. [He remains
+ standing. Vexed but smiling she sits.] Well, there! [He sits down.] You
+ punned! You mustn't. We all like puns, but it's good form to call them
+ bad taste.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [Enter JARVIS the Butler.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ JARVIS [starts slightly at perceiving the situation, but controls
+ himself]. Did you ring for me, Miss?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Yes. Please tell my father that I'd like to see him at once.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [JARVIS goes out.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Do you know the reason that you are here?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. The hundred dollars you gave me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. No&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Yes. I wouldn't have left my job if you hadn't given me that.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. I suppose not. But I mean, do you know why I brought you here?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. I'm waiting to see.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [enthusiastically]. I wonder if you'll like it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Your father?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. No. Dad's a dear. That is, he is when he sees you mean business.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [Enter MR. BRAITHEWAITE. He is a well-preserved man near sixty, almost
+ always completely master of himself. On seeing COXEY he, too, gives a
+ little start and then controls himself.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. Una, dear?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [jumping up in excitement]. Oh, Daddy! I'm so glad you were in. [To
+ GEORGE who has risen, too.] Keep your seat. Draw up a chair, Dad&mdash;I've
+ done it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. Done what?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [bringing up a chair and placing it to her right]. Do sit down, Dad.
+ He's so delicious. He won't sit down till we do&mdash;and you know how
+ much they have to stand.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [looks at GEORGE and UNA and then sits in the chair
+ allotted to him, whereupon UNA sits in hers and then GEORGE sits down].
+ Now, dear, what is it you have done?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Selected a husband.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [GEORGE moves a little uneasily. BRAITHEWAITE looks at GEORGE and then
+ speaks to UNA.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. You mean?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [pointing to GEORGE]. Him! [GEORGE rises in discomfiture.] Do sit
+ down. We're all sitting now, you see. [GEORGE brings himself to sit down
+ again.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. But, my dear&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Now don't say a word until you hear the whole story. You read that
+ article by Shaw in the Metropolitan, didn't you? I did. You remember
+ what he wrote? "The best eugenic guide is the sex attraction&mdash;the
+ Voice of Nature." He thinks the trouble is at present that we dare not
+ marry out of our own sphere. But I'll show you exactly what he says.
+ [She fusses in her handbag and pulls out a sheet of a magazine which she
+ unfolds as she says:] I always carry the article with me. It's so
+ stimulating.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [protesting]. You're not going to read me a whole Shaw
+ article, are you? It's five o'clock now and we've a dinner date at
+ eight, dear.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. It's a Shaw article, not a Shaw preface. However, I'll only read
+ the passage I've marked. Listen. [She reads.] "I do not believe you will
+ ever have any improvement in the human race until you greatly widen the
+ area of possible sexual selection; until you make it as wide as the
+ numbers of the community make it. Just consider what occurs at the
+ present time. I walk down Oxford Street, let me say, as a young man." He
+ might just as well have said, "young woman," you know.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. And?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [continues reading], "I see a woman who takes my fancy." With me it
+ would be a man, of course.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. For your purpose, of course.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [continuing again]. "I fall in love with her. It would seem very
+ sensible in an intelligent community that I should take off my hat and
+ say to this lady: 'Will you excuse me; but you attract me strongly, and
+ if you are not already engaged, would you mind taking my name and
+ address and considering whether you would care to marry me?'
+ [BRAITHEWAITE looks uncomfortably at GEORGE who looks uncomfortable,
+ though amused, himself.] Now I have no such chance at present."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. Exactly. You see, he admits it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Yes, but why shouldn't I have the chance? That set me thinking. I
+ decided he was right. I am intelligent, am I not?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. I refuse to commit myself, dear, until I hear all your
+ story.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Well, I decided I'd make the chance. You see, I&mdash;I've been led
+ to think recently that I ought to be getting married.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. May I ask why?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Yes, dear, but I'd rather not answer.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. I beg pardon.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. And when I looked about me for the possibilities in my own set, I&mdash;[she
+ makes a face]&mdash;well, I wasn't attracted.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. I admit, in society, as a rule, the women grow stronger
+ and the men weaker.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Exactly. And I knew you wanted to be a proud grandfather.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. You're mistaken, dear. I hadn't given the subject any
+ thought; so I had no desires.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Well, I have... [BRAITHEWAITE slightly shows that he is perhaps
+ shocked. UNA notices this and continues in explanation] given the
+ subject a good deal of thought. I've spent days buying second-hand
+ clothing to give away at the missions and lodging houses in order to
+ have a look.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. At least there was charity in that.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Yes. You see I didn't want charity to have to begin at my home.
+ Self-preservation is the first law of Nature.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. And self-propagation, I suppose, the second.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Well&mdash;the missions were no good. They were all so starved and
+ pinched-looking there I couldn't tell what they'd be like if they got
+ proper nourishment. And I didn't want to take a chance. So I went to
+ some coal yards.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. To find the devil not so black as painted?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [with a grimace]. Blacker! I couldn't see what they looked like. Of
+ course if I could have asked them to wash their faces.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [looking at GEORGE]. Considering what you have done, I
+ don't see&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. I did ask one, but he made some vulgar remark about black dirt and
+ red paint. So I left him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. And then?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. I spent all to-day riding up and down town in street cars. It's
+ very fascinating, Dad. All you can see for a nickel! I never realized
+ what a public benefactor you were.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [modestly]. Oh, I am amply repaid.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [in explanation to GEORGE]. Dad's the president of your traction
+ company, you know. [GEORGE rises in fright.] Oh, that's all right. I've
+ lost you your job, but I'll get you a better one as I promised. Don't be
+ afraid of Dad&mdash;in the parlor. Sit down.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [to GEORGE]. You might as well make yourself physically
+ comfortable, you know. There's no telling how my daughter may make us
+ feel in other ways.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [GEORGE sits down again, regaining his composure a little.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [to UNA]. And so to-day you investigated travelling in
+ street cars?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Yes. "Joy-riding," you know. Then I saw him&mdash;and decided. I
+ knew he wouldn't dare to propose to me&mdash;under existing conditions.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. So you asked him to marry you?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Certainly not. I've too much consideration for you, dear.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. But I thought you said&mdash;&mdash;?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. I decided to bring him home to get your consent first.
+ [BRAITHEWAITE starts to say something.] I knew you'd approve when you
+ saw him. But I wanted to be sure I hadn't overlooked anything. And if I
+ had, I didn't want to have raised his hopes for nothing. [To GEORGE.]
+ Would you mind standing a moment, now, until Dad looks you over?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [GEORGE fidgets a little in embarrassment.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. My dear, do you think the gentleman&mdash;&mdash;?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. "Gentleman!" Oh, yes, I forgot. I needn't have been so clumsy. [She
+ rises. GEORGE rises automatically. She continues to GEORGE.] I
+ apologize.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [also rising and moving his chair aside]. I fear you have
+ been too rude.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. So do I. I've never even introduced you. Father, this is&mdash;this
+ is&mdash;&mdash; [To GEORGE.] By the way&mdash;I forgot to ask&mdash;what
+ is your name?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Coxey, Miss.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [sounding it]. Coxey. What's the first name? I can't call my husband
+ "Coxey," you know.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. George, Miss.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [triumphantly]. George! There's a fine virile name for you. George
+ Coxey! How strong that sounds! One of those names that would go equally
+ well in the blue book or the police blotter.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. I never&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Don't disclaim. I know you've never been arrested. One can see your
+ goodness in your face.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [reprovingly]. Many of the best people go to jail now,
+ dear.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. I know. But he's not rich and thank heaven he's not a fanatic.
+ Isn't he good-looking? And I'm sure he's strong. See those hands of his&mdash;a
+ little rough, of course, but I like that, and so firm and, for his job,
+ wonderfully clean. Don't hide them, George. They attracted me from the
+ start.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. How did you come here with my daughter at all, sir?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [quickly]. I got off with him at the car barn when he finished his
+ run and asked him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. Didn't you know you would lose your job by leaving that
+ way?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE [with a suppressed smile]. Yes, sir.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. And you came at any rate?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. You see, sir, she gave me&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [interrupting hurriedly]. A beseeching look. Just one. I didn't use
+ more than was necessary. [Pointedly to GEORGE.] You see, George, I have
+ learnt economy from father. He hates me to be extravagant.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. That, my dear, is the chief objection I have to this
+ episode&mdash;it's extravagance.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Please don't call it an "episode," father.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. You must admit it's&mdash;rather unusual.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. In England, lords always marry chorus girls.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. But he is a conductor.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE [angry]. Yes. And conductors are&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. As hard working as chorus girls&mdash;only. Don't be snobbish,
+ George. Of course a conductor is more unusual, I admit. I can't help
+ that though&mdash;&mdash; [To her father.] You shouldn't have called me
+ "Una," if you didn't want me to be unique.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [reminiscently]. That was most unfortunate&mdash;most. It
+ was your mother's idea. She believed in symbols&mdash;and in a small
+ family.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Oh! Was that why&mdash;&mdash;? Well, no matter. I've always
+ thought it meant individuality and I've done my best to live up to it.
+ [She looks at the statue.] That statue ought to be on the other side of
+ the room.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. I'll have some of the men move it to-morrow.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. I'd like to see the effect now.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [slightly annoyed at this seeming irrelevance]. I wish I
+ could teach you concentration. I'm not strong enough to move it myself,
+ dear, and&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Can I?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. Why&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Oh! If you would!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [GEORGE goes over to it and then hesitates what to do with his cap which
+ he has in his hand.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. I'll take that.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE [giving it to her]. Thanks. [He bends and lifts the statue
+ without effort, while UNA watches him admiringly, fingering his cap.
+ When he reaches the other side of the room he stops, waveringly,
+ awaiting instructions.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [talking as GEORGE waits]. Look at him. He's as fine as the statue,
+ isn't he? And you know what you think of that. See the strength he has?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. Well&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [to GEORGE]. Thank you so much. You may put it back again. That was
+ all I wanted. [After GEORGE has.] I hope I didn't overtax you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Oh, it ain't very heavy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [triumphantly to her father]. You see!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. But he uses "ain't."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [imitating the reproof of her father]. Many of the best people use
+ "ain't" now, dear.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. Not with his enunciation.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. What was yours like when you were a railroad signalman?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. Una! The past of a public man should be private.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. George has our children's future before him. All the others I know
+ have only their parents' past behind. You could give him a job suitable
+ for my husband. I'll make my husband suitable for the job.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. But you don't know him, my dear.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. I don't know myself for that matter. If I don't like him, it's easy
+ enough to go to Reno.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. Then you insist?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. I'm tremendously eager. It's so unusual.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. I suppose I could sue Shaw.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Don't be silly. Sue an Englishman with German sympathies! Where's
+ your neutrality?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [sinking into a chair]. Very well.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [running up to GEORGE with delight]. Then it's settled, dear. We're
+ going to marry.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Excuse me, Miss, we ain't.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [shocked]. "Ain't" again!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [correcting]. "Aren't," dear&mdash;I mean, we are.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Not.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [backing away]. Why not?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Because&mdash;I'm married already.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [rising]. What?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. How annoying!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Married three years, and expecting a baby, Miss.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [troubled]. Oh, please!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. You see what plunging means. I told you I believed in
+ eugenic examinations first.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [walking up and down, thinking]. Sh! Be quiet, father. Don't lose
+ your head.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. Better than losing your heart.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [laughing]. I have it. Of course. How stupid of me not to think.
+ George.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Yes, Miss.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. Wouldn't you better call him "Mr. Coxey" now?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [paying no heed to her father's remark]. George, you must divorce
+ your wife.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Me? Why she's as good as gold and&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. That's unfortunate. [Thinking.] Then I'll have to run away with you
+ and let her get the divorce.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [now really shocked]. Una!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [innocently]. What, Dad? Have you something better to suggest?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [fuming]. I can't permit it. I didn't mind the uncommon
+ scandal of your marrying a car conductor, but I absolutely draw the line
+ at common scandal.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [a little bored]. Father, dear, why will you sometimes talk to me as
+ though I were the Public Service Commission? There's going to be no
+ scandal. You can keep it out of the newspapers.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Excuse me, but that don't make any difference. I don't want to
+ get a divorce.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. You don't? Why?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE [embarrassed]. Sounds like a song, I know, but&mdash;I love my
+ wife.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [in despair]. And you're the unusual man I'm to marry.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [with the contempt of a professional toward an amateur].
+ Stealing nickels doesn't develop the imagination.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [desperately]. How can you love your wife? Some simple, economizing,
+ prosaic, hausfrau who&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE [with spirit]. I don't know what you're saying, but you better be
+ careful not to insult my wife. She's as good as you are and a rector's
+ daughter.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [dumbfounded]. What?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Yes. Daughter of one of the biggest sky-pilots in town. I met
+ her at a settlement house. She put the question to me, too.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [angry and doubting]. She&mdash;&mdash;?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Sure. I've been through something like this before or I'd never
+ been able to stand it so well.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [as before]. Your wife&mdash;&mdash;?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Had a good deal more pluck than you, though. Up and told her
+ father she would marry me if he liked it or lumped it. He said he'd cut
+ her. And he did. We never seen him since. But Naomi and I don't care.
+ That's her name; so you can see she's a Bible-poacher's daughter. Naomi
+ and I've been happier than any people on earth. [Sternly.] She's taught
+ me to stand when a lady was standing. That's why I wouldn't obey you.
+ She's teaching me how to speak, too, and if I do say "ain't" and a lot
+ of other things I oughtn't to when I'm excited, that ai&mdash;isn't her
+ fault.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Then she&mdash;Naomi&mdash;has done everything unusual that I
+ wanted to do, before I did?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Sure. You can't be unusual to-day. Too much brains been in the
+ world before.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. How is it I never heard this story, if her father's so well known?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. D'you think your father's the only one can keep things out of
+ the papers?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [going over and weeping on her father's shoulder]. Oh! And I wanted
+ to be unique.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [patting her]. There, there, dear. [To GEORGE.] You'd
+ better go, now, Coxey.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. And my job?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. I'll see you still keep it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Thanks. I don't want to.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. No?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. I want a better.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [putting his daughter aside]. Indeed! Pray what?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE [nonchalantly]. Superintendent or something. I leave it to you.
+ You know more about what jobs there are than I do.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [controlling his anger]. And on what basis do you ask for a
+ better job?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Naomi always said my chance would come and I could take it, if I
+ had nerve and my eyes open. I think now's the time.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. Why?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Oh, this story about your daughter wouldn't look nice.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. Oh!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. You forget the power your father-in-law and I have in the
+ press.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. No, I don't. But I remember that you can't keep me from
+ spreading the news among your men. And I don't think&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [angry and advancing on him]. I could have you prosecuted
+ for blackmail, sir. Have you no honor?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Sure. My honor says provide for your family. I've got the
+ makings of a big man in me, Mr. Braithewaite. You can't chain me down
+ with a poor man's morals.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE. Well! I&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. I'll work in any job you give me, too. I'm not asking for a
+ cinch, only a chance. If she&mdash; [pointing to UNA]&mdash;could teach
+ me, Naomi can.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [after a pause]. Well, call around at my office in the
+ morning.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Thanks. [He goes out.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [sitting to weep]. And I thought I could be unusual.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ BRAITHEWAITE [patting her]. It's easy enough for Shaw, dear. He only
+ writes it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [jumping up]. That's it. I'll write it. I'll write a play showing
+ it's useless trying to escape the usual. [Running up to her father,
+ GEORGE'S cap in her hands.] That will be unusual, won't it, Dad?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [Reenter GEORGE.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. Excuse me. I left my cap.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA [stretching it out to him without looking at him]. Here it is.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE [taking it]. Thanks. [Approaching her.] Buck up, Miss! You meant
+ well.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ UNA. I suppose I was too daring.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ GEORGE. If you ask me, I think the trouble was you and that Shaw fellow
+ wasn't daring enough. Marriage is a very particular sort of business.
+ Now if you'd come up to me in the street and just asked me to&mdash;&mdash;
+ [UNA and BRAITHEWAITE look at GEORGE.] Well&mdash;I&mdash;I guess I'll
+ go. But remember my tip next try, Miss.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [He goes out quickly, leaving UNA gradually grasping the idea and
+ appreciating it, while her father's shock at what GEORGE has said is
+ increased only by noticing his daughter's reception of the words.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Curtain.
+ </p>
+ <br />
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ III. OVERTONES
+ </h2>
+ <h3>
+ A One-Act Play
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ By Alice Gerstenberg
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Author of "Unquenched Fire," "The Conscience of Sarah Platt," and
+ Dramatization of "Alice in Wonderland," etc.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Copyright, 1913, by Alice Gerstenberg
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Overtones" was produced by the Washington Square Players under the
+ direction of Edward Goodman at the Bandbox Theatre, New York City,
+ beginning November 8, 1915, to represent an American one-act play on a
+ bill of four comparative comedies, "Literature" by Arthur Schnitzler of
+ Austria, "The Honorable Lover" by Roberto Bracco of Italy, and "Whims" by
+ Alfred de Musset of France. In the cast were the following:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ HETTY. Josephine A. Meyer
+ HARRIET, her overtone. Agnes McCarthy
+ MAGGIE. Noel Haddon
+ MARGARET, her overtone. Grace Griswold
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ The scene was designed by Lee Simonson and the costumes and draperies by
+ Bertha Holley.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Overtones" was subsequently presented in vaudeville by Martin Beck,
+ beginning at the Palace Theatre, Chicago, February 28, 1916, with Helena
+ Lackaye as star, with the following cast:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ HARRIET, a cultured woman Helene Lackaye
+ HETTY, her primitive self. Ursula Faucett
+ MARGARET, a cultured woman Francesca Rotoli
+ MAGGIE, her primitive self. Nellie Dent
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ The scene was designed by Jerome Blum.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ CHARACTERS
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ HARRIET, a cultured woman
+ HETTY, her primitive self
+ MARGARET, a cultured woman
+ MAGGIE, her primitive self
+</pre>
+ <div class="play">
+ <p>
+ TIME: The present.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SCENE: HARRIET'S fashionable living-room. The door at the back leads to
+ the hall. In the centre a tea table with a chair either side. At the
+ back a cabinet.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET'S gown is a light, "jealous" green. Her counterpart, HETTY,
+ wears a gown of the same design but in a darker shade. MARGARET wears a
+ gown of lavender chiffon while her counterpart, MAGGIE, wears a gown of
+ the same design in purple, a purple scarf veiling her face. Chiffon is
+ used to give a sheer effect, suggesting a possibility of primitive and
+ cultured selves merging into one woman. The primitive and cultured
+ selves never come into actual physical contact but try to sustain the
+ impression of mental conflict. HARRIET never sees HETTY, never talks to
+ her but rather thinks aloud looking into space. HETTY, however, looks at
+ HARRIET, talks intently and shadows her continually. The same is true of
+ MARGARET and MAGGIE. The voices of the cultured women are affected and
+ lingering, the voices of the primitive impulsive and more or less
+ staccato. When the curtain rises HARRIET is seated right of tea table,
+ busying herself with the tea things.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. Harriet. [There is no answer.] Harriet, my other self. [There is
+ no answer.] My trained self.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [listens intently]. Yes? [From behind HARRIET'S chair HETTY
+ rises slowly.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. I want to talk to you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Well?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [looking at HARRIET admiringly]. Oh, Harriet, you are beautiful
+ to-day.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Am I presentable, Hetty?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. Suits me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. I've tried to make the best of the good points.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. My passions are deeper than yours. I can't keep on the mask as
+ you do. I'm crude and real, you are my appearance in the world.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. I am what you wish the world to believe you are.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. You are the part of me that has been trained.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. I am your educated self.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. I am the rushing river; you are the ice over the current.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. I am your subtle overtones.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. But together we are one woman, the wife of Charles Goodrich.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. There I disagree with you, Hetty, I alone am his wife.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [indignantly]. Harriet, how can you say such a thing!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Certainly. I am the one who flatters him. I have to be the one
+ who talks to him. If I gave you a chance you would tell him at once that
+ you dislike him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [moving away], I don't love him, that's certain.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. You leave all the fibbing to me. He doesn't suspect that my
+ calm, suave manner hides your hatred. Considering the amount of scheming
+ it causes me it can safely be said that he is my husband.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. Oh, if you love him&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. I? I haven't any feelings. It isn't my business to love
+ anybody.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. Then why need you object to calling him my husband?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. I resent your appropriation of a man who is managed only
+ through the cleverness of my artifice.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. You may be clever enough to deceive him, Harriet, but I am still
+ the one who suffers. I can't forget he is my husband. I can't forget
+ that I might have married John Caldwell.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. How foolish of you to remember John, just because we met his
+ wife by chance.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. That's what I want to talk to you about. She may be here at any
+ moment. I want to advise you about what to say to her this afternoon.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. By all means tell me now and don't interrupt while she is here.
+ You have a most annoying habit of talking to me when people are present.
+ Sometimes it is all I can do to keep my poise and appear not to be
+ listening to you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. Impress her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Hetty, dear, is it not my custom to impress people?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. I hate her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. I can't let her see that.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. I hate her because she married John.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Only after you had refused him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [turning on HARRIET]. Was it my fault that I refused him?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. That's right, blame me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. It was your fault. You told me he was too poor and never would be
+ able to do anything in painting. Look at him now, known in Europe, just
+ returned from eight years in Paris, famous.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. It was too poor a gamble at the time. It was much safer to
+ accept Charles's money and position.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. And then John married Margaret within the year.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Out of spite.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. Freckled, gawky-looking thing she was, too.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [a little sadly]. Europe improved her. She was stunning the
+ other morning.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. Make her jealous to-day.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Shall I be haughty or cordial or caustic or&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. Above all else you must let her know that we are rich.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Oh, yes, I do that quite easily now.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. You must put it on a bit.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Never fear.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. Tell her I love my husband.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. My husband&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. Are you going to quarrel with me?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [moves away]. No, I have no desire to quarrel with you. It is
+ quite too uncomfortable. I couldn't get away from you if I tried.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [stamping her foot and following HARRIET]. You were a stupid fool
+ to make me refuse John, I'll never forgive you&mdash;never&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [stopping and holding up her hand]. Don't get me all excited.
+ I'll be in no condition to meet her properly this afternoon.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [passionately]. I could choke you for robbing me of John.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [retreating]. Don't muss me!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. You don't know how you have made me suffer.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [beginning to feel the strength of HETTY'S emotion surge through
+ her and trying to conquer it]. It is not my business to have heartaches.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. You're bloodless. Nothing but sham&mdash;sham&mdash;while I&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [emotionally]. Be quiet! I can't let her see that I have been
+ fighting with my inner self.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. And now after all my suffering you say it has cost you more than
+ it has cost me to be married to Charles. But it's the pain here in my
+ heart&mdash;I've paid the price&mdash;I've paid&mdash;&mdash;Charles is
+ not your husband!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [trying to conquer emotion]. He is.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [follows HARRIET]. He isn't.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [weakly]. He is.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [towering over HARRIET]. He isn't! I'll kill you!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [overpowered, sinks into a chair]. Don't&mdash;don't&mdash;you're
+ stronger than I&mdash;you're&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. Say he's mine.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. He's ours.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [the telephone rings]. There she is now.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [HETTY hurries to 'phone but HARRIET regains her supremacy.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [authoritatively]. Wait! I can't let the telephone girl down
+ there hear my real self. It isn't proper. [At 'phone.] Show Mrs.
+ Caldwell up.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. I'm so excited, my heart's in my mouth.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [at the mirror]. A nice state you've put my nerves into.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. Don't let her see you're nervous.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. *Quick, put the veil on, or she'll see you shining through me.
+ [HARRIET takes a scarf of chiffon that has been lying over the back of a
+ chair and drapes it on HETTY, covering her face. The chiffon is the same
+ color of their gowns but paler in shade so that it pales HETTY'S darker
+ gown to match HARRIET'S lighter one. As HETTY moves in the following
+ scene the chiffon falls away revealing now and then the gown of deeper
+ dye underneath.]
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ * (The vaudeville production did not use Harriet's line
+ about the veil because at the rise of the curtain Hetty is
+ already veiled in chiffon the same dark green shade as her
+ gown.)
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. Tell her Charles is rich and fascinating&mdash;boast of our
+ friends, make her feel she needs us.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. I'll make her ask John to paint us.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. That's just my thought&mdash;if John paints our portrait&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. We can wear an exquisite gown&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. And make him fall in love again and&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [schemingly]. Yes.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [MARGARET parts the portieres back centre and extends her hand. MARGARET
+ is followed by her counterpart MAGGIE.] Oh, MARGARET, I'm so glad to see
+ you!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to MAGGIE]. That's a lie.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [in superficial voice throughout]. It's enchanting to see you,
+ Harriet.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [in emotional voice throughout]. I'd bite you, if I dared.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [to MARGARET]. Wasn't our meeting a stroke of luck?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [coming down left of table]. I've thought of you so often,
+ HARRIET; and to come back and find you living in New York.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [coming down right of table]. Mr. Goodrich has many interests
+ here.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to MARGARET]. Flatter her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. I know, Mr. Goodrich is so successful.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to HARRIET]. Tell her we're rich.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [to MARGARET]. Won't you sit down?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [takes a chair]. What a beautiful cabinet!*
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ * What beautiful lamps! (In vaudeville production.)
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Do you like it? I'm afraid Charles paid an extravagant price.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to HETTY]. I don't believe it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [sitting down. To HARRIET]. I am sure he must have.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [sitting down]. How well you are looking, Margaret.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. Yes, you are not. There are circles under your eyes.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to HETTY]. I haven't eaten since breakfast and I'm hungry.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [to HARRIET]. How well you are looking, too.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to HETTY]. You have hard lines about your lips, are you happy?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to HARRIET]. Don't let her know that I'm unhappy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [to MARGARET]. Why shouldn't I look well? My life is full,
+ happy, complete&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE. I wonder.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [in HARRIET'S ear]. Tell her we have an automobile.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [to HARRIET]. My life is complete, too.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE. My heart is torn with sorrow; my husband cannot make a living.
+ He will kill himself if he does not get an order for a painting.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [laughs]. You must come and see us in our studio. John has been
+ doing some excellent portraits. He cannot begin to fill his orders.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to HARRIET]. Tell her we have an automobile.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [to MARGARET]. Do you take lemon in your tea?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE. Take cream. It's more filling.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [looking nonchalantly at tea things]. No, cream, if you please.
+ How cozy!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [glaring at tea things]. Only cakes! I could eat them all!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [to MARGARET]. How many lumps?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to MARGARET]. Sugar is nourishing.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [to HARRIET], Three, please. I used to drink very sweet coffee
+ in Turkey and ever since I've&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. I don't believe you were ever in Turkey.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE. I wasn't, but it is none of your business.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [pouring tea]. Have you been in Turkey, do tell me about it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to MARGARET]. Change the subject.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [to HARRIET]. You must go there. You have so much taste in
+ dress you would enjoy seeing their costumes.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE. Isn't she going to pass the cake?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [to HARRIET]. John painted several portraits there.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to HARRIET]. Why don't you stop her bragging and tell her we have
+ an automobile?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [offers cake across the table to MARGARET]. Cake?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [stands back of MARGARET, shadowing her as HETTY shadows HARRIET.
+ MAGGIE reaches claws out for the cake and groans with joy]. At last!
+ [But her claws do not touch the cake.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [with a graceful, nonchalant hand places cake upon her plate
+ and bites at it slowly and delicately]. Thank you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to HARRIET]. Automobile!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to MARGARET]. Follow up the costumes with the suggestion that
+ she would make a good model for John. It isn't too early to begin
+ getting what you came for.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [ignoring MAGGIE]. What delicious cake.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [excitedly to HARRIET]. There's your chance for the auto.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [nonchalantly to MARGARET]. Yes, it is good cake, isn't it?
+ There are always a great many people buying it at Harper's. I sat in my
+ automobile fifteen minutes this morning waiting for my chauffeur to get
+ it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to MARGARET]. Make her order a portrait.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [to HARRIET]. If you stopped at Harper's you must have noticed
+ the new gowns at Henderson's. Aren't the shop windows alluring these
+ days?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Even my chauffeur notices them.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE. I know you have an automobile, I heard you the first time.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. I notice gowns now with an artist's eye as John does. The one
+ you have on, my dear, is very paintable.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. Don't let her see you're anxious to be painted.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [nonchalantly]. Oh, it's just a little model.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to MARGARET]. Don't seem anxious to get the order.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [nonchalantly]. Perhaps it isn't the gown itself but the way
+ you wear it that pleases the eye. Some people can wear anything with
+ grace.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. Yes, I'm very graceful.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [to MARGARET]. You flatter me, my dear.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. On the contrary, Harriet, I have an intense admiration for
+ you. I remember how beautiful you were&mdash;as a girl. In fact, I was
+ quite jealous when John was paying you so much attention.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. She is gloating because I lost him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Those were childhood days in a country town.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to MARGARET]. She's trying to make you feel that John was only a
+ country boy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. Most great men have come from the country. There is a fair
+ chance that John will be added to the list.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. I know it and I am bitterly jealous of you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Undoubtedly he owes much of his success to you, Margaret, your
+ experience in economy and your ability to endure hardship. Those first
+ few years in Paris must have been a struggle.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE. She is sneering at your poverty.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. Yes, we did find life difficult at first, not the luxurious
+ start a girl has who marries wealth.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to HARRIET]. Deny that you married Charles for his money.
+ [HARRIET deems it wise to ignore HETTY'S advice.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. But John and I are so congenial in our tastes, that we were
+ impervious to hardship or unhappiness.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [in anguish]. Do you love each other? Is it really true?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [sweetly]. Did you have all the romance of starving for his art?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to MARGARET]. She's taunting you. Get even with her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. Not for long. Prince Rier soon discovered John's genius, and
+ introduced him royally to wealthy Parisians who gave him many orders.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to MAGGIE]. Are you telling the truth or are you lying?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. If he had so many opportunities there, you must have had great
+ inducements to come back to the States.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to HETTY]. We did, but not the kind you think.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. John became the rage among Americans travelling in France,
+ too, and they simply insisted upon his coming here.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Whom is he going to paint here?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [frightened]. What names dare I make up?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [calmly]. Just at present Miss Dorothy Ainsworth of Oregon is
+ posing. You may not know the name, but she is the daughter of a wealthy
+ miner who found gold in Alaska.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. I dare say there are many Western people we have never heard
+ of.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. You must have found social life in New York very interesting,
+ Harriet, after the simplicity of our home town.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to MAGGIE]. There's no need to remind us that our beginnings were
+ the same.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Of course Charles's family made everything delightful for me.
+ They are so well connected.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to MARGARET]. Flatter her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. I heard it mentioned yesterday that you had made yourself very
+ popular. Some one said you were very clever!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [pleased]. Who told you that?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE. Nobody!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [pleasantly]. Oh, confidences should be suspected&mdash;respected,
+ I mean. They said, too, that you are gaining some reputation as a critic
+ of art.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. I make no pretenses.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. Are you and Mr. Goodrich interested in the same things, too?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. No!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Yes, indeed, Charles and I are inseparable.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE. I wonder.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Do have another cake.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [in relief]. Oh, yes. [Again her claws extend but do not touch
+ the cake.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [takes cake delicately]. I really shouldn't&mdash;after my big
+ luncheon. John took me to the Ritz and we are invited to the Bedfords'
+ for dinner&mdash;they have such a magnificent house near the drive&mdash;I
+ really shouldn't, but the cakes are so good.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE. Starving!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [to MARGARET]. More tea?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE. Yes!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. No, thank you. How wonderfully life has arranged itself for
+ you. Wealth, position, a happy marriage, every opportunity to enjoy all
+ pleasures; beauty, art&mdash;how happy you must be.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [in anguish]. Don't call me happy. I've never been happy since I
+ gave up John. All these years without him&mdash;a future without him&mdash;no&mdash;no&mdash;I
+ shall win him back&mdash;away from you&mdash;away from you&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [does not see MAGGIE pointing to cream and MARGARET stealing
+ some]. I sometimes think it is unfair for any one to be as happy as I
+ am. Charles and I are just as much in love now as when we married. To me
+ he is just the dearest man in the world.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [passionately]. My John is. I love him so much I could die for
+ him. I'm going through hunger and want to make him great and he loves
+ me. He worships me!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [leisurely to HARRIET]. I should like to meet Mr. Goodrich.
+ Bring him to our studio. John has some sketches to show. Not many,
+ because all the portraits have been purchased by the subjects. He gets
+ as much as four thousand dollars now.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to HARRIET]. Don't pay that much.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [to MARGARET]. As much as that?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. It is not really too much when one considers that John is in
+ the foremost rank of artists to-day. A picture painted by him now will
+ double and treble in value.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE. It's all a lie. He is growing weak with despair.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Does he paint all day long?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE. No, he draws advertisements for our bread.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [to HARRIET]. When you and your husband come to see us,
+ telephone first&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE. Yes, so he can get the advertisements out of the way.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. Otherwise you might arrive while he has a sitter, and John
+ refuses to let me disturb him then.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. Make her ask for an order.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [to MARGARET]. Le Grange offered to paint me for a thousand.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. Louis Le Grange's reputation isn't worth more than that.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Well, I've heard his work well mentioned.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE. Yes, he is doing splendid work.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. Oh, dear me, no. He is only praised by the masses. He is
+ accepted not at all by artists themselves.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [anxiously]. Must I really pay the full price?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Le Grange thought I would make a good subject.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to MARGARET]. Let her fish for it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. Of course you would. Why don't you let Le Grange paint you, if
+ you trust him?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. She doesn't seem anxious to have John do it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. But if Le Grange isn't accepted by artists, it would be a waste
+ of time to pose for him, wouldn't it?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. Yes, I think it would.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [passionately to HETTY across back of table]. Give us the order.
+ John is so despondent he can't endure much longer. Help us! Help me!
+ Save us!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to HARRIET]. Don't seem too eager.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. And yet if he charges only a thousand one might consider it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. If you really wish to be painted, why don't you give a little
+ more and have a portrait really worth while? John might be induced to do
+ you for a little below his usual price considering that you used to be
+ such good friends.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [in glee]. Hurrah!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [quietly to MARGARET]. That's very nice of you to suggest&mdash;of
+ course I don't know&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [in fear]. For God's sake, say yes.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [quietly to HARRIET]. Of course, I don't know whether John
+ would. He is very peculiar in these matters. He sets his value on his
+ work and thinks it beneath him to discuss price.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to MAGGIE]. You needn't try to make us feel small.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. Still, I might quite delicately mention to him that inasmuch
+ as you have many influential friends you would be very glad to&mdash;to&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to HETTY]. Finish what I don't want to say.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to HARRIET]. Help her out.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Oh, yes, introductions will follow the exhibition of my
+ portrait. No doubt I&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to HARRIET]. Be patronizing.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. No doubt I shall be able to introduce your husband to his
+ advantage.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [relieved]. Saved.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. If I find John in a propitious mood I shall take pleasure, for
+ your sake, in telling him about your beauty. Just as you are sitting now
+ would be a lovely pose.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to MARGARET]. We can go now.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to HARRIET]. Don't let her think she is doing us a favor.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. It will give me pleasure to add my name to your husband's list
+ of patronesses.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [excitedly to MARGARET]. Run home and tell John the good news.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [leisurely to HARRIET]. I little guessed when I came for a
+ pleasant chat about old times that it would develop into business
+ arrangements. I had no idea, Harriet, that you had any intention of
+ being painted. By Le Grange, too. Well, I came just in time to rescue
+ you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to MARGARET]. Run home and tell John. Hurry, hurry!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to HARRIET]. You managed the order very neatly. She doesn't
+ suspect that you wanted it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Now if I am not satisfied with my portrait I shall blame you,
+ Margaret, dear. I am relying upon your opinion of John's talent.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to MARGARET]. She doesn't suspect what you came for. Run home
+ and tell John!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. You always had a brilliant mind, Margaret.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET. Ah, it is you who flatter, now.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to MARGARET]. You don't have to stay so long. Hurry home!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. Ah, one does not flatter when one tells the truth.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [smiles]. I must be going or you will have me completely under
+ your spell.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [looks at clock]. Yes, do go. I have to dress for dinner.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [to MARGARET]. Oh, don't hurry.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to HETTY]. I hate you!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [to HARRIET]. No, really I must, but I hope we shall see each
+ other often at the studio. I find you so stimulating.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to MAGGIE]. I hate you!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [to MARGARET]. It is indeed gratifying to find a kindred spirit.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to HETTY]. I came for your gold.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [to HARRIET]. How delightful it is to know you again.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to MAGGIE]. I am going to make you and your husband suffer.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. My kind regards to John.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE [to HETTY]. He has forgotten all about you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [rises]. He will be so happy to receive them.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY [to MAGGIE]. I can hardly wait to talk to him again.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET. I shall wait, then, until you send me word?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [offering her hand]. I'll speak to John about it as soon as I
+ can and tell you when to come.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [HARRIET takes MARGARET'S hand affectionately. HETTY and MAGGIE rush at
+ each other, throw back their veils, and fling their speeches fiercely at
+ each other.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. I love him&mdash;I love him&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE. He's starving&mdash;I'm starving&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY. I'm going to take him away from you&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MAGGIE. I want your money&mdash;and your influence.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HETTY and MAGGIE. I'm going to rob you&mdash;rob you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [There is a cymbal crash, the lights go out and come up again slowly,
+ leaving only MARGARET and HARRIET visible.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [quietly to HARRIET]. I've had such a delightful afternoon.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [offering her hand]. It has been a joy to see you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MARGARET [sweetly to HARRIET]. Good-bye.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HARRIET [sweetly to MARGARET as she kisses her]. Good-bye, my dear.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Curtain.
+ </p>
+ <br />
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0007" id="link2H_4_0007">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ IV. HELENA'S HUSBAND
+ </h2>
+ <h3>
+ An Historical Comedy
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ By Philip Moeller
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Copyright, 1915, by Philip Moeller
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Helena's Husband" was produced by the Washington Square Players, under
+ the direction of Philip Moeller, at the Bandbox Theatre, New York City,
+ beginning October 4, 1915.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the cast, in the order of their appearance, were the following:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ HELENA, Queen of Sparta. Noel Haddon
+ TSUMU, her slave. Helen Westley
+ MENELAUS, the King. Frank Conroy
+ ANALYTIKOS, his librarian. Walter Frankl
+ PARIS, a shepherd. Harold Meltzer
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ The scene was designed by Paul T. Frankl and the costumes by Robert
+ Locker.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Helena's Husband" was subsequently revived by the Washington Square
+ Players at the Comedy Theatre, New York City, beginning June 5, 1916, with
+ Margaret Mower playing the part of Helen.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ CHARACTERS
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ HELENA, the Queen
+ TSUMU, a black woman, slave to Helena
+ MENELAUS, the King
+ ANALYTIKOS, the King's librarian
+ PARIS, a shepherd
+</pre>
+ <div class="play">
+ <p>
+ SCENE: Is that archeolological mystery, a Greek interior. A door on the
+ right leads to the KING'S library, one on the left to the apartments of
+ the QUEEN. Back right is the main entrance leading to the palace. Next
+ this, running the full length of the wall, is a window with a platform,
+ built out over the main court. Beyond is a view of hills bright with
+ lemon groves, and in the far distance shimmers the sea. On the wall near
+ the QUEEN'S room hangs an old shield rusty with disuse. A bust of Zeus
+ stands on a pedestal against the right wall. There are low coffers about
+ the room from which hang the ends of vivid colored robes. The scene is
+ bathed in intense sunlight.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU is massaging the QUEEN.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. There's no doubt about it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. Analytikos says there is much doubt about all things.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Never mind what he says. I envy you your complexion.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [falling prostrate before HELENA]. Whom the Queen envies should
+ beware.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [annoyed]. Get up, Tsumu. You make me nervous tumbling about like
+ that.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [still on the floor]. Why does the great Queen envy Tsumu?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Get up, you silly. [She kicks her.] I envy you because you can
+ run about and never worry about getting sunburnt.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [on her knees]. The radiant beauty of the Queen is unspoilable.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. That's just what's worrying me, Tsumu. When beauty is so perfect
+ the slightest jar may mean a jolt. [She goes over and looks at her
+ reflection in the shield.] I can't see myself as well as I would like
+ to. The King's shield is tarnished. Menelaus has been too long out of
+ battle.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [handing her a hand mirror]. The Gods will keep Sparta free from
+ strife.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. I'll have you beaten if you assume that prophetic tone with me.
+ There's one thing I can't stand, and that's a know-all. [Flinging the
+ hand mirror to the floor.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [in alarm]. Gods grant you haven't bent it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. These little mirrors are useless. His shield is the only thing
+ in which I can see myself full-length. If he only went to war, he'd have
+ to have it cleaned.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [putting the mirror on a table near the QUEEN]. The King is a
+ lover of peace.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. The King is a lover of comfort. Have you noticed that he spends
+ more time than he used to in the library?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. He is busy with questions of State.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. You know perfectly well that when anything's the matter with the
+ Government it's always straightened out at the other end of the palace.
+ Finish my shoulder. [She examines her arm.] I doubt if there is a finer
+ skin than this in Sparta.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [TSUMU begins to massage the QUEEN'S shoulder.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [taking up a mirror]. That touch of deep carmine right here in
+ the centre of my lips was quite an idea.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [busily pounding the QUEEN]. An inspiration of the Gods!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. The Gods have nothing to do with it. I copied it from a low
+ woman I saw at the circus. I can't understand how these bad women have
+ such good ideas. [HELENA twists about.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. If your majesty doesn't sit still, I may pinch you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [boxing her ears]. None of your tricks, you ebony fiend!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [crouching]. Descendant of paradise, forgive me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. If you bruise my perfect flesh, the King will kill you. My
+ beauty is his religion. He can sit for hours, as if at prayer, just
+ examining the arch of my foot. Tsumu, you may kiss my foot.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [prostrate]. May the Gods make me worthy of your kindness!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. That's enough. Tsumu, are you married?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [getting up]. I've been so busy having babies I never had time to
+ get married.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. It's a great disillusionment.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [aghast]. What!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. I'm not complaining. Moo Moo is the best of husbands, but
+ sometimes being adored too much is trying. [She sighs deeply.] I think
+ I'll wear my heliotrope this afternoon.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [A trumpet sounds below in the courtyard. TSUMU goes to the window.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. They are changing the guards at the gates of the palace. It's
+ almost time for your bath. [She begins scraping the massage ointment
+ back into the box.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. You're as careful with that ointment as Moo Moo is with me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. Precious things need precious guarding.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. It's very short-sighted on Moo Moo's part to send everybody to
+ the galleys who dares lift a head when I pass by&mdash;and all those
+ nice-looking soldiers! Why&mdash;the only men I ever see besides Moo Moo
+ are Analytikos and a lot of useless eunuchs.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. Oh, those eunuchs!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [as she sits dreaming]. I wish, I wish&mdash;&mdash; [She stops
+ short.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. You have but to speak your desire to the King.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [shocked]. Tsumu! How can you think of such a thing? I'm not a
+ bad woman.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. He would die for you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [relieved]. Ah! Do you think so, Tsumu?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. All Sparta knows that His Majesty is a lover of peace, and yet he
+ would rush into battle to save you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. I should love to have men fighting for me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [in high alarm]. May Zeus turn a deaf ear to your voice.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Don't be impertinent, Tsumu. I've got to have some sort of
+ amusement.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. You've only to wait till next week, and you can see another of
+ the priestesses sacrificed to Diana.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. That doesn't interest me any longer. The girls are positively
+ beginning to like it. No! My mind is set on war.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [terrified]. I have five fathers of my children to lose.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. War, or&mdash;or&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [hopefully]. Have I been so long your slave that I no longer know
+ your wish?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [very simply]. Well, I should like to have a lover.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [springs up and rushes over in horror to draw the curtains across
+ the door to the library. All of a tremble]. Gods grant they didn't hear
+ you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Don't be alarmed, Tsumu. Analytikos is over eighty. [She bursts
+ into a loud peal of laughter and MENELAUS rushes into the room.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [in high irritation]. I wish you wouldn't make so much noise in
+ here. A King might at least expect quiet in his own palace.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Tsumu, see if my bath is ready. [TSUMU exits.] You used not
+ speak like that to me, Moo Moo.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [in a temper]. How many times must I tell you that my name is
+ Menelaus and that it isn't "Moo Moo?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [sweetly]. I'll never do it again, Moo Moo. [She giggles.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. Your laugh gets on my nerves. It's louder than it used to be.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. If you wish it, I'll never, never laugh again.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. You've promised that too often.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [sadly]. Things are not as they used to be.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. Are you going to start that again?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [with a tinge of melancholy]. I suppose you'd like me to be still
+ and sad.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [bitterly]. Is it too much to hope that you might be still and
+ happy?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [speaking very quickly and tragically]. Don't treat me cruelly,
+ Moo Moo. You don't understand me. No man ever really understands a
+ woman. There are terrible depths to my nature. I had a long talk with
+ Dr. Aesculapius only last week, and he told me I'm too introspective.
+ It's the curse of us emotional women. I'm really quite worried, but much
+ you care, much you care. [A note of tears comes into her voice.] I'm
+ sure you don't love me any more, Moo Moo. No! No! Don't answer me! If
+ you did you couldn't speak to me the way you do. I've never wronged you
+ in deed or in thought. No, never&mdash;never. I've given up my hopes and
+ aspirations, because I knew you wanted me around you. And now, NOW&mdash;&mdash;
+ [She can contain the tears no longer.] Because I have neglected my
+ beauty and because I am old and ugly, you regret that Ulysses or
+ Agamemnon didn't marry me when you all wanted me, and I know you curse
+ the day you ever saw me. [She is breathless.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [fuming]. Well! Have you done?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. No. I could say a great deal more, but I'm not a talkative
+ woman.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [ANALYTIKOS comes in from the library.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Your Majesty, are we to read no longer to-day?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. I have something to say to the King. [ANALYTIKOS goes toward the
+ library. MENELAUS anxiously stops him.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. No. Stay here. You are a wise man and will understand the
+ wisdom of the Queen.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS [bowing to HELENA]. Helena is wise as she is beautiful.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. She is attempting to prove to me in a thousand words that
+ she's a silent woman.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Women are seldom silent. [HELENA resents this.] Their beauty
+ is forever speaking for them.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. The years have, indeed, taught you wisdom. [TSUMU enters.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. The almond water awaits Your Majesty.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. I hope you haven't forgotten the chiropodist.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. He has been commanded but he's always late. He's so busy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [in a purring tone to MENELAUS]. Moo Moo.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [MENELAUS, bored, turns away.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [to TSUMU]. I think after all I'll wear my Sicily blue.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [She and TSUMU go into the QUEEN'S apartment.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Shall we go back to the library?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. My mind is unhinged again&mdash;that woman with her endless
+ protestations.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. I am sorry the poets no longer divert you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. A little poetry is always too much.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. To-morrow we will try the historians.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. No! Not the historians. I want the truth for a change.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. The truth!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. Where in books can I find escape from the grim reality of
+ being hitched for life to such a wife? Bah!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Philosophy teaches&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. Why have the Gods made woman necessary to man, and made them
+ fools?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. For seventy years I have been resolving the problem of woman
+ and even at my age&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. Give it up, old man. The answer is&mdash;don't.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Such endless variety, and yet&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [with the conviction of finality]. There are only two sorts of
+ women! Those who are failures and those who realize it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Is not Penelope, the model wife of your cousin Ulysses, an
+ exception?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. Duty is the refuge of the unbeautiful. She is as commonplace
+ as she is ugly. [And then with deep bitterness.] Why didn't he marry
+ Helen when we all wanted her? He was too wise for that. He is the only
+ man I've ever known who seems able to direct destiny.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. You should not blame the Gods for a lack of will.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [shouting]. Will! Heaven knows I do not lack the will to rid
+ myself of this painted puppet, but where is the instrument ready to my
+ hand?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [At this moment a SHEPHERD of Apollonian beauty leaps across the rail of
+ the balcony and bounds into the room. MENELAUS and ANALYTIKOS start back
+ in amazement.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Who are you?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. An adventurer.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Then you have reached the end of your story. In a moment you
+ will die.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. I have no faith in prophets.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. The soldiers of the King will give you faith. Don't you know
+ that it means death for any man to enter the apartments of the Queen?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [looking from one to the other]. Oh! So you're a couple of
+ eunuchs.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [Though nearly eighty this is too much for ANALYTIKOS to bear. He rushes
+ to call the guards, but MENELAUS stops him.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [to ANALYTIKOS]. Thanks.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. You thank me for telling you your doom?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. No&mdash;for convincing me that I'm where I want to be. It's
+ taken me a long while, but I knew I'd get here. [And then very
+ intimately to MENELAUS.] Where's the Queen?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. Where do you come from?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. From the hills. I had come down into the market-place to sell my
+ sheep. I had my hood filled with apples. They were golden-red like a
+ thousand sunsets.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [annoyed]. You might skip those bucolic details.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. At the fair I met three ancient gypsies.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. What have they to do with you coming here?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. You don't seem very patient. Can't I tell my story in my own way?
+ They asked me for the apple I was eating and I asked them what they'd
+ give for it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. I'm not interested in market quotations.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. You take everything so literally. I'm sure you're easily bored.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [with meaning]. I am.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [going on cheerfully]. The first was to give me all the money she
+ could beg, and the second was to tell me all the truth she could learn
+ by listening, and the third promised me a pretty girl. So I chose&mdash;&mdash;
+ [He hesitates.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. You cannot escape by spinning out your tale.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Death is the end of one story and the beginning of another.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. Well! Well! Come to the point. Which did you choose?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [smiling]. Well, you see I'd been in the hills for a long while,
+ so I picked the girl.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. It would have been better for you if you had chosen wisdom.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. I knew you'd say that.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. I have spoken truly. In a moment you will die.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. It is because the old have forgotten life that they preach
+ wisdom.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. So you chose the girl? Well, go on.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. This made the other cronies angry, and when I tossed her the
+ apple one of the others yelped at me: "You may as well seek the Queen of
+ Sparta: she is the fairest of women." And as I turned away I heard their
+ laughter, but the words had set my heart aflame and though it costs me
+ my life, I'll follow the adventure.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS [scandalized]. Haven't we heard enough of this?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [deeply]. No! I want to hear how the story ends. It may amuse
+ the King. [He makes a sign to ANALYTIKOS.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. And on the ship at night I looked long at the stars and dreamed
+ of possessing Helen. [ANALYTIKOS makes an involuntary movement toward
+ the balcony but MENELAUS stops him.] Desire has been my guiding Mercury;
+ the Fates are with me, and here I am!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. The wrath of the King will show you no mercy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [nonchalantly]. I'm not afraid of the King. He's fat, and&mdash;a
+ fool.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Shall I call the guards? [MENELAUS stops him.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [very significantly]. So you would give your life for a glimpse
+ of the Queen?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [swiftly]. Yes! My immortal soul, and if the fables tell the
+ truth, the sight will be worth the forfeit.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [suddenly jumping up]. It shall be as you wish!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [buoyantly]. Venus has smiled on me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. In there beyond the library you will find a room with a bath.
+ Wait there till I call you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Is this some trick to catch me?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. A Spartan cannot lie.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. What will happen to you if the King hears of this?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. I will answer for the king. Go.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [PARIS exits into the library.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS [rubbing his hands]. Shall I order the boiling oil?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [surprised]. Oil?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Now that he is being cleaned for the sacrifice.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. His torture will be greater than being boiled alive.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS [eagerly]. You'll have him hurled from the walls of the
+ palace to a forest of waiting spears below?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. None is so blind as he who sees too much.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Your Majesty is subtle in his cruelty.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. Haven't the years taught you the cheapness of revenge?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS [mystified]. You do not intend to alter destiny.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. Never before has destiny been so clear to me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Then the boy must die.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [with slow determination]. No! He has been sent by the Gods to
+ save me!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Your majesty! [He is trembling with apprehension.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [with unbudgeable conviction]. Helena must elope with him!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS [falling into a seat]. Ye Gods!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [quickly]. I couldn't divorce the Queen. That would set a bad
+ example.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Yes, very.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. I couldn't desert her. That would be beneath my honor.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS [deeply]. Was there no other way?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [pompously]. The King can do no wrong, and besides I hate the
+ smell of blood. Are you a prophet as well as a scholar? Will she go?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. To-night I will read the stars.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [meaningfully]. By to-night I'll not need you to tell me.
+ [ANALYTIKOS sits deep in thought.] Well?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Ethics cite no precedent.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. Do you mean to say I'm not justified?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS [cogitating]. Who can establish the punctilious ratio between
+ necessity and desire?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [beginning to fume]. This is no time for language. Just put
+ yourself in my place.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Being you, how can I judge as I?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [losing control]. May you choke on your dialectics! Zeus
+ himself could have stood it no longer.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Have you given her soul a chance to grow?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. Her soul, indeed! It's shut in her rouge pot. [He has been
+ strutting about. Suddenly he sits down crushing a roll of papyrus. He
+ takes it up and in utter disgust reads.] "The perfect hip, its
+ development and permanence." Bah! [He flings it to the floor.] I've done
+ what I had to do, and Gods grant the bait may be sweet enough to catch
+ the Queen.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. If you had diverted yourself with a war or two you might
+ have forgotten your troubles at home.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [frightened]. I detest dissension of any kind&mdash;my dream
+ was perpetual peace in comfortable domesticity with a womanly woman to
+ warm my sandals.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Is not the Queen&mdash;&mdash;?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. No! No! The whole world is but her mirror. And I'm expected to
+ face that woman every morning at breakfast for the rest of my life, and
+ by Venus that's more than even a King can bear!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Even a King cannot alter destiny. I warn you, whom the Gods
+ have joined together&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [in an outburst]. Is for man to break asunder!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS [deeply shocked]. You talk like an atheist.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. I never allow religion to interfere with life. Go call the
+ victim and see that he be left alone with the Queen. [MENELAUS exits and
+ ANALYTIKOS goes over to the door of the library and summons PARIS, who
+ enters clad in a gorgeous robe.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. I found this in there. It looks rather well, doesn't it? Ah! So
+ you're alone. I suppose that stupid friend of yours has gone to tell the
+ King. When do I see the Queen?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. At once. [He goes to the door of the QUEEN'S apartment and
+ claps his hand. TSUMU enters and at the sight of her PARIS recoils the
+ full length of the room.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. I thought the Queen was a blonde!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Tell Her Majesty a stranger awaits her here. [TSUMU exits,
+ her eyes wide on PARIS.] You should thank the Gods for this moment.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [his eyes on the door]. You do it for me. I can never remember all
+ their names.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [HELENA enters clad in her Sicily blue, crowned with a garland of golden
+ flowers. She and PARIS stand riveted, looking at each other. Their
+ attitude might be described as fatalistic. ANALYTIKOS watches them for a
+ moment and then with hands and head lifted to heaven he goes into the
+ library.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [quivering with emotion]. I have the most strange sensation of
+ having seen you before. Something I can't explain&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [quite practically]. Please don't bother about all sorts of fine
+ distinctions. Under the influence of Analytikos and my husband, life has
+ become a mess of indecision. I'm a simple, direct woman and I expect you
+ to say just what you think.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Do you? Very well, then&mdash;&mdash; [He comes a step nearer to
+ her.] Fate is impelling me toward you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Yes. That's much better. So you're a fatalist. It's very Greek.
+ I don't see what our dramatists would do without it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. In my country there are no dramatists. We are too busy with
+ reality.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Your people must be uncivilized barbarians.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. My people are a genuine people. There is but one thing we
+ worship.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Don't tell me it's money.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. It's&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Analytikos says if there weren't any money, there wouldn't be
+ any of those ridiculous socialists.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. It isn't money. It's sincerity.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. I, too, believe in sincerity. It's the loveliest thing in the
+ world.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. And the most dangerous.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. The truth is never dangerous.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Except when told.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [making room on the couch for him to sit next to her]. You
+ mustn't say wicked things to me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Can your theories survive a test?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [beautifully]. Truth is eternal and survives all tests.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. No. Perhaps, after all, your soul is not ready for the supremest
+ heights.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Do you mean to say I'm not religious? Religion teaches the
+ meaning of love.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Has it taught you to love your husband?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [starting up and immediately sitting down again]. How dare you
+ speak to me like that?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. You see. I was right. [He goes toward the balcony.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [stopping him]. Whatever made you think so?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. I've heard people talk of the King. You could never love a man
+ like that.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [beautifully]. A woman's first duty is to love her husband.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. There is a higher right than duty.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [with conviction]. Right is right.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [with admiration]. The world has libelled you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Me! The Queen?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. You are as wise as you are beautiful.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [smiling coyly]. Why, you hardly know me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. I know you! I, better than all men.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. You?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [rapturously]. Human law has given you to Menelaus, but divine law
+ makes you mine.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [in amazement]. What!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. I alone appreciate your beauty. I alone can reach your soul.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Ah!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. You hate your husband!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [drawing back]. Why do you look at me like that?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. To see if there's one woman in the world who dares tell the
+ truth.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. My husband doesn't understand me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [with conviction]. I knew you detested him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. He never listens to my aspirations.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Egoist.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [assuming an irresistible pose]. I'm tired of being only lovely.
+ He doesn't realize the meaning of spiritual intercourse, of soul
+ communion.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Fool!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. You dare call Moo Moo a fool?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Has he not been too blind to see that your soul outshines your
+ beauty? [Then, very dramatically.] You're stifling!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [clearing her throat]. I&mdash;I&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. He has made you sit upon your wings. [HELENA, jumping up, shifts
+ her position.] You are groping in the darkness.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Don't be silly. It's very light in here.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [undisturbed]. You are stumbling, and I have come to lead you. [He
+ steps toward her.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Stop right there! [PARIS stops.] No man but the King can come
+ within ten feet of me. It's a court tradition.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Necessity knows no tradition. [He falls on his knees before her.]
+ I shall come close to you, though the flame of your beauty consume me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. You'd better be careful what you say to me. Remember I'm the
+ Queen.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. No man weighs his words who has but a moment to live.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. You said that exactly like an actor. [He leans very close to
+ her.] What are you doing now?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. I am looking into you. You are the clear glass in which I read
+ the secret of the universe.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. The secret of the universe. Ah! Perhaps you could understand me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. First you must understand yourself.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [instinctively taking up a mirror]. How?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. You must break with all this prose. [With an unconscious gesture
+ he sweeps a tray of toilet articles from the table. HELENA emits a
+ little shriek.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. The ointment!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [rushing to the window and pointing to the distance]. And climb to
+ infinite poesie!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [catching his enthusiasm, says very blandly]. There is nothing in
+ the world like poetry.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [lyrically]. Have you ever heard the poignant breathing of the
+ stars?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. No. I don't believe in astrology.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Have you ever smelt the powdery mists of the sun?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. I should sneeze myself to death.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Have you ever listened to the sapphire soul of the sea?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Has the sea a soul? But please don't stop talking. You do it so
+ beautifully.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Deeds are sweeter than words. Shall we go hand in hand to meet
+ eternity?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [not comprehending him]. That's very pretty. Say it again.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [passionately]. There's but a moment of life left me. I shall
+ stifle it in ecstasy. Helena, Helena, I adore you!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [jumping up in high surprise]. You're not making love to me, you
+ naughty boy?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Helena!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. You've spoken to me so little, and already you dare to do that.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [impetuously]. I am a lover of life. I skip the inessentials.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Remember who I am.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. I have not forgotten. Daughter of Heaven. [Suddenly he leaps to
+ his feet.] Listen!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Shhh! That's the King and Analytikos in the library.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. No! No! Don't you hear the flutter of wings?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Wings?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [ecstatically]. Venus, mother of Love!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [alarmed]. What is it?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. She has sent her messenger. I hear the patter of little feet.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Those little feet are the soldiers below in the courtyard. [A
+ trumpet sounds.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [the truth of the situation breaking through his emotion]. In a
+ moment I shall be killed.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Killed?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Save me and save yourself!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Myself?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. I shall rescue you and lead you on to life.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. No one has ever spoken to me like that before.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. This is the first time your ears have heard the truth.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Was it of you I've been dreaming?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Your dream was but your unrealized desire.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Menelaus has never made me feel like this. [And then with a
+ sudden shriek.] Oh! I'm a wicked woman!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. No! No!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. For years I've been living with a man I didn't love.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Yes! Yes!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. I'm lost!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [at a loss]. No! Yes! Yes! No!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. It was a profanation of the most holy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. The holiest awaits you, Helena! Our love will lighten the
+ Plutonian realms.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Menelaus never spoke to me like that.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. 'Tis but the first whisper of my adoration.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. I can't face him every morning at breakfast for the rest of my
+ life. That's even more than a Queen can bear.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. I am waiting to release you.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. I've stood it for seven years.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. I've been coming to you since the beginning of time.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. There is something urging me to go with you, something I do not
+ understand.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Quick! There is but a moment left us. [He takes her rapturously
+ in his arms. There is a passionate embrace in the midst of which TSUMU
+ enters.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. The chiropodist has come.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Bring me my outer garment and my purse.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [TSUMU exits, her eyes wide on PARIS.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. Helena! Helena!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [HELENA looks about her and takes up the papyrus that MENELAUS has flung
+ to the floor.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. A last word to the King. [She looks at the papyrus.] No, this
+ won't do; I shall have to take this with me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS. What is it?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA. Maskanda's discourse on the hip.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [A trumpet sounds below in the courtyard.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [excitedly]. Leave it&mdash;or your hip may cost me my head. We
+ haven't a minute to spare. Hurry! Hurry!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [HELENA takes up an eyebrow pencil and writes on the back of the
+ papyrus. She looks for a place to put it and seeing the shield she
+ smears it with some of the ointment and sticks the papyrus to it.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [watching her in ecstasy]. You are the fairest of all fair women
+ and your name will blaze as a symbol throughout eternity. [TSUMU enters
+ with the purse and the QUEEN'S outer robe.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [tossing the purse to PARIS]. Here, we may need this.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [throwing it back to TSUMU]. This for your silence, daughter of
+ darkness. A prince has no heed of purses.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [looking at him]. A prince!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA [gloriously]. My prince of poetry. My deliverer!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ PARIS [divinely]. My queen of love!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [They go out, TSUMU looking after them in speechless amazement. Suddenly
+ she sees the papyrus on the shield, runs over and reads it and then
+ rushes to the door of the library.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [calling]. Analytikos. [She hides the purse in her bosom.
+ ANALYTIKOS enters, scroll in hand.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Has the Queen summoned me?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [mysteriously]. A terrible thing has happened.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. What's the matter?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. Where's the King?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. In the library.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. I have news more precious than the gold of Midas.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS [giving her a purse]. Well! What is it?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [speaking very dramatically and watching the effect of her words].
+ The Queen has deserted Menelaus.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS [receiving the shock philosophically]. Swift are the ways of
+ Nature. The Gods have smiled upon him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. The Gods have forsaken the King to smile upon a prince.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. What?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. He was a prince.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS [apprehensively]. Why do you say that?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [clutching her bosom]. I have a good reason to know. [There is a
+ sound of voices below in the courtyard. MENELAUS rushes in expectantly.
+ TSUMU falls prostrate before him.] Oh, King, in thy bottomless agony
+ blame not a blameless negress. The Queen has fled!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [in his delight forgetting himself and flinging her a purse].
+ Is it true?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. Woe! Woe is me!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [storming]. Out of my sight, you eyeless Argus!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS [to TSUMU]. Quick, send a messenger. Find out who he was.
+ [TSUMU sticks the third purse in her bosom and runs out.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [with radiant happiness, kneeling before the bust of Zeus]. Ye
+ Gods, I thank ye. Peace and a happy life at last. [The shouts in the
+ courtyard grow louder.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. The news has spread through the palace.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [in trepidation, springing up]. No one would dare stop the
+ progress of the Queen.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [rushes in and prostrates herself before the KING]. Woe is me!
+ They have gone by the road to the harbor.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [anxiously]. Yes! Yes!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. By the King's orders no man has dared gaze upon Her Majesty. They
+ all fell prostrate before her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. Good! Good! [Attempting to cover his delight.] Go! Go! You
+ garrulous dog. [TSUMU gets up and points to shield. ANALYTIKOS and the
+ KING look toward it. ANALYTIKOS tears off the papyrus and brings it to
+ MENELAUS. TSUMU, watching them, exits.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [reading]. "I am not a bad woman. I did what I had to do." How
+ Greek to blame fate for what one wants to do. [TSUMU again comes
+ tumbling in.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [again prostrate before the KING]. A rumor flies through the city.
+ He&mdash;he&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS [anxiously]. Well? Well?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. He&mdash;he&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [furiously to ANALYTIKOS]. Rid me of this croaking raven.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. Evil has fallen on Sparta. He&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Yes&mdash;yes&mdash;&mdash;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [in a rage]. Out of my sight, perfidious Nubian. [Sounds of
+ confusion in the courtyard. Suddenly she springs to her feet and yells
+ at the top of her voice.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU. He was Paris, Prince of Troy!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [They all start back. ANALYTIKOS stumbles into a seat. MENELAUS turns
+ pale. TSUMU leers like a black Nemesis.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS [very ominously]. Who can read the secret of the Fates?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [frightened]. What do you mean?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. He is the son of Priam, King of Troy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ TSUMU [adding fuel]. And of Hecuba, Queen of the Trojans. [She rushes
+ out to spread the news.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. That makes the matter international.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [quickly]. But we have treaties with Troy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Circumstances alter treaties. They will mean nothing.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. Nothing?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. No more than a scrap of papyrus. Sparta will fight to regain
+ her Queen.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. But I don't want her back.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Can you tell that to Sparta? Remember, the King can do no
+ wrong. Last night I dreamed of war.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. No! No! Don't say that. After the scandal I can't be expected
+ to fight to get her back.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Sparta will see with the eyes of chivalry.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [fuming]. But I don't believe in war.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS [still obdurate]. Have you forgotten the oath pledged of old,
+ with Ulysses and Agamemnon? They have sworn, if ever the time came, to
+ fight and defend the Queen.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [bitterly]. I didn't think of the triple alliance.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Can Sparta ask less of her King?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS. Let's hear the other side. We can perhaps arbitrate. Peace at
+ any price.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Some bargains are too cheap.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [hopelessly]. But I am a pacifist.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. You are Menelaus of Sparta, and Sparta's a nation of
+ soldiers.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ MENELAUS [desperately]. I am too proud to fight!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS. Here, put on your shield. [A great clamor comes up from the
+ courtyard. ANALYTIKOS steps out on the balcony and is greeted with
+ shouts of "The King! The King!" Addressing the crowd.] People of Sparta,
+ this calamity has been forced upon us.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [MENELAUS winces.] We are a peaceful people. But thanks to our
+ unparalleled efficiency, the military system of Sparta is the most
+ powerful in all Greece and we can mobilize in half an hour.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [Loud acclaims from the people. MENELAUS, the papyrus still in hand,
+ crawls over and attempts to stop ANALYTIKOS.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ ANALYTIKOS [not noticing him]. In the midst of connubial and communal
+ peace the thunderbolt has fallen on the King.[MENELAUS tugs at
+ ANALYTIKOS' robe.] Broken in spirit as he is, he is already pawing the
+ ground like a battle steed. Never will we lay down our arms! We and
+ Jupiter! [Cheers.] Never until the Queen is restored to Menelaus. Never,
+ even if it takes ten years.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [MENELAUS squirms. A loud cheer.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ HELENA'S HUSBAND Even now the King is buckling on his shield. [More
+ cheers. ANALYTIKOS steps farther forward and then with bursting
+ eloquence.]
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ One hate we have and one alone! [Yells from below.]
+ Hate by water and hate by land,
+ Hate of the head and hate of the hand,
+ Hate of Paris and hate of Troy
+ That has broken the Queen for a moment's toy.
+ [The yells grow fiercer.]
+ Zeus' thunder will shatter the Trojan throne.
+ We have one hate and one alone!
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ [MENELAUS sits on the floor dejectedly looking at the papyrus. A thunder
+ of voices from the people.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We have one hate and one alone. Troy! Troy!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ [Helmets and swords are thrown into the air. The cheers grow tumultuous,
+ trumpets are blown, and the curtain falls.]
+ </p>
+ <br />
+ </div>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Washington Square Plays, by Various
+
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+</pre>
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