diff options
Diffstat (limited to '3173-h')
| -rw-r--r-- | 3173-h/3173-h.htm | 1727 |
1 files changed, 1727 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/3173-h/3173-h.htm b/3173-h/3173-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d17ebef --- /dev/null +++ b/3173-h/3173-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1727 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + Essays on Paul Bourget, by Mark Twain + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd7; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 5%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> +Project Gutenberg's Essays on Paul Bourget, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Essays on Paul Bourget + +Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +Release Date: August 20, 2006 [EBook #3173] +Last Updated: February 24, 2018 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ESSAYS ON PAUL BOURGET *** + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + <h1> + ESSAYS ON PAUL BOURGET + </h1> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + by Mark Twain + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + Contents + </h2> + <table summary="” style=" cellpadding="4” border="> + <tr> + <td> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> WHAT PAUL BOURGET THINKS OF US </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> A LITTLE NOTE TO M. PAUL BOURGET </a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h2> + WHAT PAUL BOURGET THINKS OF US + </h2> + <p> + He reports the American joke correctly. In Boston they ask, How much does + he know? in New York, How much is he worth? in Philadelphia, Who were his + parents? And when an alien observer turns his telescope upon us—advertisedly + in our own special interest—a natural apprehension moves us to ask, + What is the diameter of his reflector? + </p> + <p> + I take a great interest in M. Bourget's chapters, for I know by the + newspapers that there are several Americans who are expecting to get a + whole education out of them; several who foresaw, and also foretold, that + our long night was over, and a light almost divine about to break upon the + land. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “His utterances concerning us are bound to be weighty and well + timed.” + + “He gives us an object-lesson which should be thoughtfully and + profitably studied.” + </pre> + <p> + These well-considered and important verdicts were of a nature to restore + public confidence, which had been disquieted by questionings as to whether + so young a teacher would be qualified to take so large a class as + 70,000,000, distributed over so extensive a schoolhouse as America, and + pull it through without assistance. + </p> + <p> + I was even disquieted myself, although I am of a cold, calm temperament, + and not easily disturbed. I feared for my country. And I was not wholly + tranquilized by the verdicts rendered as above. It seemed to me that there + was still room for doubt. In fact, in looking the ground over I became + more disturbed than I was before. Many worrying questions came up in my + mind. Two were prominent. Where had the teacher gotten his equipment? What + was his method? + </p> + <p> + He had gotten his equipment in France. + </p> + <p> + Then as to his method! I saw by his own intimations that he was an + Observer, and had a System that used by naturalists and other scientists. + The naturalist collects many bugs and reptiles and butterflies and studies + their ways a long time patiently. By this means he is presently able to + group these creatures into families and subdivisions of families by nice + shadings of differences observable in their characters. Then he labels all + those shaded bugs and things with nicely descriptive group names, and is + now happy, for his great work is completed, and as a result he intimately + knows every bug and shade of a bug there, inside and out. It may be true, + but a person who was not a naturalist would feel safer about it if he had + the opinion of the bug. I think it is a pleasant System, but subject to + error. + </p> + <p> + The Observer of Peoples has to be a Classifier, a Grouper, a Deducer, a + Generalizer, a Psychologizer; and, first and last, a Thinker. He has to be + all these, and when he is at home, observing his own folk, he is often + able to prove competency. But history has shown that when he is abroad + observing unfamiliar peoples the chances are heavily against him. He is + then a naturalist observing a bug, with no more than a naturalist's + chance of being able to tell the bug anything new about itself, and no + more than a naturalist's chance of being able to teach it any new + ways which it will prefer to its own. + </p> + <p> + To return to that first question. M. Bourget, as teacher, would simply be + France teaching America. It seemed to me that the outlook was dark—almost + Egyptian, in fact. What would the new teacher, representing France, teach + us? Railroading? No. France knows nothing valuable about railroading. + Steamshipping? No. France has no superiorities over us in that matter. + Steamboating? No. French steamboating is still of Fulton's date—1809. + Postal service? No. France is a back number there. Telegraphy? No, we + taught her that ourselves. Journalism? No. Magazining? No, that is our own + specialty. Government? No; Liberty, Equality, Fraternity, Nobility, + Democracy, Adultery the system is too variegated for our climate. + Religion? No, not variegated enough for our climate. Morals? No, we cannot + rob the poor to enrich ourselves. Novel-writing? No. M. Bourget and the + others know only one plan, and when that is expurgated there is nothing + left of the book. + </p> + <p> + I wish I could think what he is going to teach us. Can it be Deportment? + But he experimented in that at Newport and failed to give satisfaction, + except to a few. Those few are pleased. They are enjoying their joy as + well as they can. They confess their happiness to the interviewer. They + feel pretty striped, but they remember with reverent recognition that they + had sugar between the cuts. True, sugar with sand in it, but sugar. And + true, they had some trouble to tell which was sugar and which was sand, + because the sugar itself looked just like the sand, and also had a + gravelly taste; still, they knew that the sugar was there, and would have + been very good sugar indeed if it had been screened. Yes, they are + pleased; not noisily so, but pleased; invaded, or streaked, as one may + say, with little recurrent shivers of joy—subdued joy, so to speak, + not the overdone kind. And they commune together, these, and massage each + other with comforting sayings, in a sweet spirit of resignation and + thankfulness, mixing these elements in the same proportions as the sugar + and the sand, as a memorial, and saying, the one to the other, and to the + interviewer: “It was severe—yes, it was bitterly severe; but + oh, how true it was; and it will do us so much good!” + </p> + <p> + If it isn't Deportment, what is left? It was at this point that I + seemed to get on the right track at last. M. Bourget would teach us to + know ourselves; that was it: he would reveal us to ourselves. That would + be an education. He would explain us to ourselves. Then we should + understand ourselves; and after that be able to go on more intelligently. + </p> + <p> + It seemed a doubtful scheme. He could explain us to himself—that + would be easy. That would be the same as the naturalist explaining the bug + to himself. But to explain the bug to the bug—that is quite a + different matter. The bug may not know himself perfectly, but he knows + himself better than the naturalist can know him, at any rate. + </p> + <p> + A foreigner can photograph the exteriors of a nation, but I think that + that is as far as he can get. I think that no foreigner can report its + interior—its soul, its life, its speech, its thought. I think that a + knowledge of these things is acquirable in only one way; not two or four + or six—absorption; years and years of unconscious absorption; years + and years of intercourse with the life concerned; of living it, indeed; + sharing personally in its shames and prides, its joys and griefs, its + loves and hates, its prosperities and reverses, its shows and + shabbinesses, its deep patriotisms, its whirlwinds of political passion, + its adorations—of flag, and heroic dead, and the glory of the + national name. Observation? Of what real value is it? One learns peoples + through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect. + </p> + <p> + There is only one expert who is qualified to examine the souls and the + life of a people and make a valuable report—the native novelist. + This expert is so rare that the most populous country can never have + fifteen conspicuously and confessedly competent ones in stock at one time. + This native specialist is not qualified to begin work until he has been + absorbing during twenty-five years. How much of his competency is derived + from conscious “observation”? The amount is so slight that it + counts for next to nothing in the equipment. Almost the whole capital of + the novelist is the slow accumulation of unconscious observation—absorption. + The native expert's intentional observation of manners, speech, + character, and ways of life can have value, for the native knows what they + mean without having to cipher out the meaning. But I should be astonished + to see a foreigner get at the right meanings, catch the elusive shades of + these subtle things. Even the native novelist becomes a foreigner, with a + foreigner's limitations, when he steps from the State whose life is + familiar to him into a State whose life he has not lived. Bret Harte got + his California and his Californians by unconscious absorption, and put + both of them into his tales alive. But when he came from the Pacific to + the Atlantic and tried to do Newport life from study-conscious observation—his + failure was absolutely monumental. Newport is a disastrous place for the + unacclimated observer, evidently. + </p> + <p> + To return to novel-building. Does the native novelist try to generalize + the nation? No, he lays plainly before you the ways and speech and life of + a few people grouped in a certain place—his own place—and that + is one book. In time he and his brethren will report to you the life and + the people of the whole nation—the life of a group in a New England + village; in a New York village; in a Texan village; in an Oregon village; + in villages in fifty States and Territories; then the farm-life in fifty + States and Territories; a hundred patches of life and groups of people in + a dozen widely separated cities. And the Indians will be attended to; and + the cowboys; and the gold and silver miners; and the negroes; and the + Idiots and Congressmen; and the Irish, the Germans, the Italians, the + Swedes, the French, the Chinamen, the Greasers; and the Catholics, the + Methodists, the Presbyterians, the Congregationalists, the Baptists, the + Spiritualists, the Mormons, the Shakers, the Quakers, the Jews, the + Campbellites, the infidels, the Christian Scientists, the Mind-Curists, + the Faith-Curists, the train-robbers, the White Caps, the Moonshiners. And + when a thousand able novels have been written, there you have the soul of + the people, the life of the people, the speech of the people; and not + anywhere else can these be had. And the shadings of character, manners, + feelings, ambitions, will be infinite. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “'The nature of a people' is always of a similar shade in its + vices and its virtues, in its frivolities and in its labor. + 'It is this physiognomy which it is necessary to discover', + and every document is good, from the hall of a casino to the + church, from the foibles of a fashionable woman to the + suggestions of a revolutionary leader. I am therefore quite + sure that this 'American soul', the principal interest and the + great object of my voyage, appears behind the records of + Newport for those who choose to see it.”—M. Paul Bourget. +</pre> + <p> + [The italics ('') are mine.] It is a large contract which he + has undertaken. “Records” is a pretty poor word there, but I + think the use of it is due to hasty translation. In the original the word + is 'fastes'. I think M. Bourget meant to suggest that he + expected to find the great “American soul” secreted behind the + ostentations of Newport; and that he was going to get it out and examine + it, and generalize it, and psychologize it, and make it reveal to him its + hidden vast mystery: “the nature of the people” of the United + States of America. We have been accused of being a nation addicted to + inventing wild schemes. I trust that we shall be allowed to retire to + second place now. + </p> + <p> + There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled + “American.” There isn't a single human ambition, or + religious trend, or drift of thought, or peculiarity of education, or code + of principles, or breed of folly, or style of conversation, or preference + for a particular subject for discussion, or form of legs or trunk or head + or face or expression or complexion, or gait, or dress, or manners, or + disposition, or any other human detail, inside or outside, that can + rationally be generalized as “American.” + </p> + <p> + Whenever you have found what seems to be an “American” + peculiarity, you have only to cross a frontier or two, or go down or up in + the social scale, and you perceive that it has disappeared. And you can + cross the Atlantic and find it again. There may be a Newport religious + drift, or sporting drift, or conversational style or complexion, or cut of + face, but there are entire empires in America, north, south, east, and + west, where you could not find your duplicates. It is the same with + everything else which one might propose to call “American.” M. + Bourget thinks he has found the American Coquette. If he had really found + her he would also have found, I am sure, that she was not new, that she + exists in other lands in the same forms, and with the same frivolous heart + and the same ways and impulses. I think this because I have seen our + coquette; I have seen her in life; better still, I have seen her in our + novels, and seen her twin in foreign novels. I wish M. Bourget had seen + ours. He thought he saw her. And so he applied his System to her. She was + a Species. So he gathered a number of samples of what seemed to be her, + and put them under his glass, and divided them into groups which he calls + “types,” and labeled them in his usual scientific way with + “formulas”—brief sharp descriptive flashes that make a + person blink, sometimes, they are so sudden and vivid. As a rule they are + pretty far-fetched, but that is not an important matter; they surprise, + they compel admiration, and I notice by some of the comments which his + efforts have called forth that they deceive the unwary. Here are a few of + the coquette variants which he has grouped and labeled: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + THE COLLECTOR. + THE EQUILIBREE. + THE PROFESSIONAL BEAUTY. + THE BLUFFER. + THE GIRL-BOY. +</pre> + <p> + If he had stopped with describing these characters we should have been + obliged to believe that they exist; that they exist, and that he has seen + them and spoken with them. But he did not stop there; he went further and + furnished to us light-throwing samples of their behavior, and also + light-throwing samples of their speeches. He entered those things in his + note-book without suspicion, he takes them out and delivers them to the + world with a candor and simplicity which show that he believed them + genuine. They throw altogether too much light. They reveal to the native + the origin of his find. I suppose he knows how he came to make that novel + and captivating discovery, by this time. If he does not, any American can + tell him—any American to whom he will show his anecdotes. It was + “put up” on him, as we say. It was a jest—to be plain, + it was a series of frauds. To my mind it was a poor sort of jest, witless + and contemptible. The players of it have their reward, such as it is; they + have exhibited the fact that whatever they may be they are not ladies. M. + Bourget did not discover a type of coquette; he merely discovered a type + of practical joker. One may say the type of practical joker, for these + people are exactly alike all over the world. Their equipment is always the + same: a vulgar mind, a puerile wit, a cruel disposition as a rule, and + always the spirit of treachery. + </p> + <p> + In his Chapter IV. M. Bourget has two or three columns gravely devoted to + the collating and examining and psychologizing of these sorry little + frauds. One is not moved to laugh. There is nothing funny in the + situation; it is only pathetic. The stranger gave those people his + confidence, and they dishonorably treated him in return. + </p> + <p> + But one must be allowed to suspect that M. Bourget was a little to blame + himself. Even a practical joker has some little judgment. He has to + exercise some degree of sagacity in selecting his prey if he would save + himself from getting into trouble. In my time I have seldom seen such + daring things marketed at any price as these conscienceless folk have + worked off at par on this confiding observer. It compels the conviction + that there was something about him that bred in those speculators a quite + unusual sense of safety, and encouraged them to strain their powers in his + behalf. They seem to have satisfied themselves that all he wanted was + “significant” facts, and that he was not accustomed to examine + the source whence they proceeded. It is plain that there was a sort of + conspiracy against him almost from the start—a conspiracy to freight + him up with all the strange extravagances those people's decayed + brains could invent. + </p> + <p> + The lengths to which they went are next to incredible. They told him + things which surely would have excited any one else's suspicion, but + they did not excite his. Consider this: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “There is not in all the United States an entirely nude + statue.” + </pre> + <p> + If an angel should come down and say such a thing about heaven, a + reasonably cautious observer would take that angel's number and + inquire a little further before he added it to his catch. What does the + present observer do? Adds it. Adds it at once. Adds it, and labels it with + this innocent comment: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “This small fact is strangely significant.” + </pre> + <p> + It does seem to me that this kind of observing is defective. + </p> + <p> + Here is another curiosity which some liberal person made him a present of. + I should think it ought to have disturbed the deep slumber of his + suspicion a little, but it didn't. It was a note from a fog-horn for + strenuousness, it seems to me, but the doomed voyager did not catch it. If + he had but caught it, it would have saved him from several disasters: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “If the American knows that you are traveling to take notes, he + is interested in it, and at the same time rejoices in it, as in + a tribute.” + </pre> + <p> + Again, this is defective observation. It is human to like to be praised; + one can even notice it in the French. But it is not human to like to be + ridiculed, even when it comes in the form of a “tribute.” I + think a little psychologizing ought to have come in there. Something like + this: A dog does not like to be ridiculed, a redskin does not like to be + ridiculed, a negro does not like to be ridiculed, a Chinaman does not like + to be ridiculed; let us deduce from these significant facts this formula: + the American's grade being higher than these, and the chain-of + argument stretching unbroken all the way up to him, there is room for + suspicion that the person who said the American likes to be ridiculed, and + regards it as a tribute, is not a capable observer. + </p> + <p> + I feel persuaded that in the matter of psychologizing, a professional is + too apt to yield to the fascinations of the loftier regions of that great + art, to the neglect of its lowlier walks. Every now and then, at half-hour + intervals, M. Bourget collects a hatful of airy inaccuracies and dissolves + them in a panful of assorted abstractions, and runs the charge into a + mould and turns you out a compact principle which will explain an American + girl, or an American woman, or why new people yearn for old things, or any + other impossible riddle which a person wants answered. + </p> + <p> + It seems to be conceded that there are a few human peculiarities that can + be generalized and located here and there in the world and named by the + name of the nation where they are found. I wonder what they are. Perhaps + one of them is temperament. One speaks of French vivacity and German + gravity and English stubbornness. There is no American temperament. The + nearest that one can come at it is to say there are two—the composed + Northern and the impetuous Southern; and both are found in other + countries. Morals? Purity of women may fairly be called universal with us, + but that is the case in some other countries. We have no monopoly of it; + it cannot be named American. I think that there is but a single specialty + with us, only one thing that can be called by the wide name “American.” + That is the national devotion to ice-water. All Germans drink beer, but + the British nation drinks beer, too; so neither of those peoples is the + beer-drinking nation. I suppose we do stand alone in having a drink that + nobody likes but ourselves. When we have been a month in Europe we lose + our craving for it, and we finally tell the hotel folk that they needn't + provide it any more. Yet we hardly touch our native shore again, winter or + summer, before we are eager for it. The reasons for this state of things + have not been psychologized yet. I drop the hint and say no more. + </p> + <p> + It is my belief that there are some “national” traits and + things scattered about the world that are mere superstitions, frauds that + have lived so long that they have the solid look of facts. One of them is + the dogma that the French are the only chaste people in the world. Ever + since I arrived in France this last time I have been accumulating doubts + about that; and before I leave this sunny land again I will gather in a + few random statistics and psychologize the plausibilities out of it. If + people are to come over to America and find fault with our girls and our + women, and psychologize every little thing they do, and try to teach them + how to behave, and how to cultivate themselves up to where one cannot tell + them from the French model, I intend to find out whether those + missionaries are qualified or not. A nation ought always to examine into + this detail before engaging the teacher for good. This last one has let + fall a remark which renewed those doubts of mine when I read it: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “In our high Parisian existence, for instance, we find applied + to arts and luxury, and to debauchery, all the powers and all + the weaknesses of the French soul.” + </pre> + <p> + You see, it amounts to a trade with the French soul; a profession; a + science; the serious business of life, so to speak, in our high Parisian + existence. I do not quite like the look of it. I question if it can be + taught with profit in our country, except, of course, to those pathetic, + neglected minds that are waiting there so yearningly for the education + which M. Bourget is going to furnish them from the serene summits of our + high Parisian life. + </p> + <p> + I spoke a moment ago of the existence of some superstitions that have been + parading the world as facts this long time. For instance, consider the + Dollar. The world seems to think that the love of money is “American”; + and that the mad desire to get suddenly rich is “American.” I + believe that both of these things are merely and broadly human, not + American monopolies at all. The love of money is natural to all nations, + for money is a good and strong friend. I think that this love has existed + everywhere, ever since the Bible called it the root of all evil. + </p> + <p> + I think that the reason why we Americans seem to be so addicted to trying + to get rich suddenly is merely because the opportunity to make promising + efforts in that direction has offered itself to us with a frequency out of + all proportion to the European experience. For eighty years this + opportunity has been offering itself in one new town or region after + another straight westward, step by step, all the way from the Atlantic + coast to the Pacific. When a mechanic could buy ten town lots on tolerably + long credit for ten months' savings out of his wages, and reasonably + expect to sell them in a couple of years for ten times what he gave for + them, it was human for him to try the venture, and he did it no matter + what his nationality was. He would have done it in Europe or China if he + had had the same chance. + </p> + <p> + In the flush times in the silver regions a cook or any other humble worker + stood a very good chance to get rich out of a trifle of money risked in a + stock deal; and that person promptly took that risk, no matter what his or + her nationality might be. I was there, and saw it. + </p> + <p> + But these opportunities have not been plenty in our Southern States; so + there you have a prodigious region where the rush for sudden wealth is + almost an unknown thing—and has been, from the beginning. + </p> + <p> + Europe has offered few opportunities for poor Tom, Dick, and Harry; but + when she has offered one, there has been no noticeable difference between + European eagerness and American. England saw this in the wild days of the + Railroad King; France saw it in 1720—time of Law and the Mississippi + Bubble. I am sure I have never seen in the gold and silver mines any + madness, fury, frenzy to get suddenly rich which was even remotely + comparable to that which raged in France in the Bubble day. If I had a + cyclopaedia here I could turn to that memorable case, and satisfy nearly + anybody that the hunger for the sudden dollar is no more “American” + than it is French. And if I could furnish an American opportunity to staid + Germany, I think I could wake her up like a house afire. + </p> + <p> + But I must return to the Generalizations, Psychologizings, Deductions. + When M. Bourget is exploiting these arts, it is then that he is peculiarly + and particularly himself. His ways are wholly original when he encounters + a trait or a custom which is new to him. Another person would merely + examine the find, verify it, estimate its value, and let it go; but that + is not sufficient for M. Bourget: he always wants to know why that thing + exists, he wants to know how it came to happen; and he will not let go of + it until he has found out. And in every instance he will find that reason + where no one but himself would have thought of looking for it. He does not + seem to care for a reason that is not picturesquely located; one might + almost say picturesquely and impossibly located. + </p> + <p> + He found out that in America men do not try to hunt down young married + women. At once, as usual, he wanted to know why. Any one could have told + him. He could have divined it by the lights thrown by the novels of the + country. But no, he preferred to find out for himself. He has a + trustfulness as regards men and facts which is fine and unusual; he is not + particular about the source of a fact, he is not particular about the + character and standing of the fact itself; but when it comes to pounding + out the reason for the existence of the fact, he will trust no one but + himself. + </p> + <p> + In the present instance here was his fact: American young married women + are not pursued by the corruptor; and here was the question: What is it + that protects her? + </p> + <p> + It seems quite unlikely that that problem could have offered difficulties + to any but a trained philosopher. Nearly any person would have said to M. + Bourget: “Oh, that is very simple. It is very seldom in America that + a marriage is made on a commercial basis; our marriages, from the + beginning, have been made for love; and where love is there is no room for + the corruptor.” + </p> + <p> + Now, it is interesting to see the formidable way in which M. Bourget went + at that poor, humble little thing. He moved upon it in column—three + columns—and with artillery. + </p> + <p> + “Two reasons of a very different kind explain”—that + fact. + </p> + <p> + And now that I have got so far, I am almost afraid to say what his two + reasons are, lest I be charged with inventing them. But I will not retreat + now; I will condense them and print them, giving my word that I am honest + and not trying to deceive any one. + </p> + <p> + 1. Young married women are protected from the approaches of the seducer in + New England and vicinity by the diluted remains of a prudence created by a + Puritan law of two hundred years ago, which for a while punished adultery + with death. + </p> + <p> + 2. And young married women of the other forty or fifty States are + protected by laws which afford extraordinary facilities for divorce. + </p> + <p> + If I have not lost my mind I have accurately conveyed those two Vesuvian + irruptions of philosophy. But the reader can consult Chapter IV. of + 'Outre-Mer', and decide for himself. Let us examine this + paralyzing Deduction or Explanation by the light of a few sane facts. + </p> + <p> + 1. This universality of “protection” has existed in our + country from the beginning; before the death penalty existed in New + England, and during all the generations that have dragged by since it was + annulled. + </p> + <p> + 2. Extraordinary facilities for divorce are of such recent creation that + any middle-aged American can remember a time when such things had not yet + been thought of. + </p> + <p> + Let us suppose that the first easy divorce law went into effect forty + years ago, and got noised around and fairly started in business + thirty-five years ago, when we had, say, 25,000,000 of white population. + Let us suppose that among 5,000,000 of them the young married women were + “protected” by the surviving shudder of that ancient Puritan + scare—what is M. Bourget going to do about those who lived among the + 20,000,000? They were clean in their morals, they were pure, yet there was + no easy divorce law to protect them. + </p> + <p> + Awhile ago I said that M. Bourget's method of truth-seeking—hunting + for it in out-of-the-way places—was new; but that was an error. I + remember that when Leverrier discovered the Milky Way, he and the other + astronomers began to theorize about it in substantially the same fashion + which M. Bourget employs in his reasonings about American social facts and + their origin. Leverrier advanced the hypothesis that the Milky Way was + caused by gaseous protoplasmic emanations from the field of Waterloo, + which, ascending to an altitude determinable by their own specific + gravity, became luminous through the development and exposure—by the + natural processes of animal decay—of the phosphorus contained in + them. + </p> + <p> + This theory was warmly complimented by Ptolemy, who, however, after much + thought and research, decided that he could not accept it as final. His + own theory was that the Milky Way was an emigration of lightning bugs; and + he supported and reinforced this theorem by the well-known fact that the + locusts do like that in Egypt. + </p> + <p> + Giordano Bruno also was outspoken in his praises of Leverrier's + important contribution to astronomical science, and was at first inclined + to regard it as conclusive; but later, conceiving it to be erroneous, he + pronounced against it, and advanced the hypothesis that the Milky Way was + a detachment or corps of stars which became arrested and held in 'suspenso + suspensorum' by refraction of gravitation while on the march to join + their several constellations; a proposition for which he was afterwards + burned at the stake in Jacksonville, Illinois. + </p> + <p> + These were all brilliant and picturesque theories, and each was received + with enthusiasm by the scientific world; but when a New England farmer, + who was not a thinker, but only a plain sort of person who tried to + account for large facts in simple ways, came out with the opinion that the + Milky Way was just common, ordinary stars, and was put where it was + because God “wanted to hev it so,” the admirable idea fell + perfectly flat. + </p> + <p> + As a literary artist, M. Bourget is as fresh and striking as he is as a + scientific one. He says, “Above all, I do not believe much in + anecdotes.” + </p> + <p> + Why? “In history they are all false”—a sufficiently + broad statement—“in literature all libelous”—also + a sufficiently sweeping statement, coming from a critic who notes that we + are “a people who are peculiarly extravagant in our language—” + and when it is a matter of social life, “almost all biased.” + It seems to amount to stultification, almost. He has built two or three + breeds of American coquettes out of anecdotes—mainly “biased” + ones, I suppose; and, as they occur “in literature,” furnished + by his pen, they must be “all libelous.” Or did he mean not in + literature or anecdotes about literature or literary people? I am not able + to answer that. Perhaps the original would be clearer, but I have only the + translation of this installment by me. I think the remark had an + intention; also that this intention was booked for the trip; but that + either in the hurry of the remark's departure it got left, or in the + confusion of changing cars at the translator's frontier it got + side-tracked. + </p> + <p> + “But on the other hand I believe in statistics; and those on + divorces appear to me to be most conclusive.” And he sets himself + the task of explaining—in a couple of columns—the process by + which Easy-Divorce conceived, invented, originated, developed, and + perfected an empire-embracing condition of sexual purity in the States. IN + 40 YEARS. No, he doesn't state the interval. With all his passion + for statistics he forgot to ask how long it took to produce this gigantic + miracle. + </p> + <p> + I have followed his pleasant but devious trail through those columns, but + I was not able to get hold of his argument and find out what it was. I was + not even able to find out where it left off. It seemed to gradually + dissolve and flow off into other matters. I followed it with interest, for + I was anxious to learn how easy-divorce eradicated adultery in America, + but I was disappointed; I have no idea yet how it did it. I only know it + didn't. But that is not valuable; I knew it before. + </p> + <p> + Well, humor is the great thing, the saving thing, after all. The minute it + crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations and resentments + flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place. And so, when M. Bourget + said that bright thing about our grandfathers, I broke all up. I remember + exploding its American countermine once, under that grand hero, Napoleon. + He was only First Consul then, and I was Consul-General—for the + United States, of course; but we were very intimate, notwithstanding the + difference in rank, for I waived that. One day something offered the + opening, and he said: + </p> + <p> + “Well, General, I suppose life can never get entirely dull to an + American, because whenever he can't strike up any other way to put + in his time he can always get away with a few years trying to find out who + his grandfather was!” + </p> + <p> + I fairly shouted, for I had never heard it sound better; and then I was + back at him as quick as a flash—“Right, your Excellency! But I + reckon a Frenchman's got his little stand-by for a dull time, too; + because when all other interests fail he can turn in and see if he can't + find out who his father was!” + </p> + <p> + Well, you should have heard him just whoop, and cackle, and carry on! He + reached up and hit me one on the shoulder, and says: + </p> + <p> + “Land, but it's good! It's im-mensely good! I'George, + I never heard it said so good in my life before! Say it again.” + </p> + <p> + So I said it again, and he said his again, and I said mine again, and then + he did, and then I did, and then he did, and we kept on doing it, and + doing it, and I never had such a good time, and he said the same. In my + opinion there isn't anything that is as killing as one of those dear + old ripe pensioners if you know how to snatch it out in a kind of a fresh + sort of original way. + </p> + <p> + But I wish M. Bourget had read more of our novels before he came. It is + the only way to thoroughly understand a people. When I found I was coming + to Paris, I read 'La Terre'. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + A LITTLE NOTE TO M. PAUL BOURGET + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + [The preceding squib was assailed in the North American Review + in an article entitled “Mark Twain and Paul Bourget,” by Max + O'Rell. The following little note is a Rejoinder to that + article. It is possible that the position assumed here—that + M. Bourget dictated the O'Rell article himself—is untenable.] +</pre> + <p> + You have every right, my dear M. Bourget, to retort upon me by dictation, + if you prefer that method to writing at me with your pen; but if I may say + it without hurt—and certainly I mean no offence—I believe you + would have acquitted yourself better with the pen. With the pen you are at + home; it is your natural weapon; you use it with grace, eloquence, charm, + persuasiveness, when men are to be convinced, and with formidable effect + when they have earned a castigation. But I am sure I see signs in the + above article that you are either unaccustomed to dictating or are out of + practice. If you will re-read it you will notice, yourself, that it lacks + definiteness; that it lacks purpose; that it lacks coherence; that it + lacks a subject to talk about; that it is loose and wabbly; that it + wanders around; that it loses itself early and does not find itself any + more. There are some other defects, as you will notice, but I think I have + named the main ones. I feel sure that they are all due to your lack of + practice in dictating. + </p> + <p> + Inasmuch as you had not signed it I had the impression at first that you + had not dictated it. But only for a moment. Certain quite simple and + definite facts reminded me that the article had to come from you, for the + reason that it could not come from any one else without a specific + invitation from you or from me. I mean, it could not except as an + intrusion, a transgression of the law which forbids strangers to mix into + a private dispute between friends, unasked. + </p> + <p> + Those simple and definite facts were these: I had published an article in + this magazine, with you for my subject; just you yourself; I stuck + strictly to that one subject, and did not interlard any other. No one, of + course, could call me to account but you alone, or your authorized + representative. I asked some questions—asked them of myself. I + answered them myself. My article was thirteen pages long, and all devoted + to you; devoted to you, and divided up in this way: one page of guesses as + to what subjects you would instruct us in, as teacher; one page of doubts + as to the effectiveness of your method of examining us and our ways; two + or three pages of criticism of your method, and of certain results which + it furnished you; two or three pages of attempts to show the justness of + these same criticisms; half a dozen pages made up of slight fault-findings + with certain minor details of your literary workmanship, of extracts from + your 'Outre-Mer' and comments upon them; then I closed with an + anecdote. I repeat—for certain reasons—that I closed with an + anecdote. + </p> + <p> + When I was asked by this magazine if I wished to “answer” a + “reply” to that article of mine, I said “yes,” and + waited in Paris for the proof-sheets of the “reply” to come. I + already knew, by the cablegram, that the “reply” would not be + signed by you, but upon reflection I knew it would be dictated by you, + because no volunteer would feel himself at liberty to assume your + championship in a private dispute, unasked, in view of the fact that you + are quite well able to take care of your matters of that sort yourself and + are not in need of any one's help. No, a volunteer could not make + such a venture. It would be too immodest. Also too gratuitously generous. + And a shade too self-sufficient. No, he could not venture it. It would + look too much like anxiety to get in at a feast where no plate had been + provided for him. In fact he could not get in at all, except by the back + way, and with a false key; that is to say, a pretext—a pretext + invented for the occasion by putting into my mouth words which I did not + use, and by wresting sayings of mine from their plain and true meaning. + Would he resort to methods like those to get in? No; there are no people + of that kind. So then I knew for a certainty that you dictated the Reply + yourself. I knew you did it to save yourself manual labor. + </p> + <p> + And you had the right, as I have already said and I am content—perfectly + content. + </p> + <p> + Yet it would have been little trouble to you, and a great kindness to me, + if you had written your Reply all out with your own capable hand. + </p> + <p> + Because then it would have replied—and that is really what a Reply + is for. Broadly speaking, its function is to refute—as you will + easily concede. That leaves something for the other person to take hold + of: he has a chance to reply to the Reply, he has a chance to refute the + refutation. This would have happened if you had written it out instead of + dictating. Dictating is nearly sure to unconcentrate the dictator's + mind, when he is out of practice, confuse him, and betray him into using + one set of literary rules when he ought to use a quite different set. + Often it betrays him into employing the RULES FOR CONVERSATION BETWEEN A + SHOUTER AND A DEAF PERSON—as in the present case—when he ought + to employ the RULES FOR CONDUCTING DISCUSSION WITH A FAULT-FINDER. The + great foundation-rule and basic principle of discussion with a + fault-finder is relevancy and concentration upon the subject; whereas the + great foundation-rule and basic principle governing conversation between a + shouter and a deaf person is irrelevancy and persistent desertion of the + topic in hand. If I may be allowed to illustrate by quoting example IV., + section 7 from chapter ix. of “Revised Rules for Conducting + Conversation between a Shouter and a Deaf Person,” it will assist us + in getting a clear idea of the difference between the two sets of rules: + </p> + <p> + Shouter. Did you say his name is WETHERBY? + </p> + <p> + Deaf Person. Change? Yes, I think it will. Though if it should clear off I— + </p> + <p> + Shouter. It's his NAME I want—his NAME. + </p> + <p> + Deaf Person. Maybe so, maybe so; but it will only be a shower, I think. + </p> + <p> + Shouter. No, no, no!—you have quite misunderSTOOD me. If— + </p> + <p> + Deaf Person. Ah! GOOD morning; I am sorry you must go. But call again, and + let me continue to be of assistance to you in every way I can. + </p> + <p> + You see it is a perfect kodak of the article you have dictated. It is + really curious and interesting when you come to compare it with yours; in + detail, with my former article to which it is a Reply in your hand. I talk + twelve pages about your American instruction projects, and your doubtful + scientific system, and your painstaking classification of nonexistent + things, and your diligence and zeal and sincerity, and your disloyal + attitude towards anecdotes, and your undue reverence for unsafe statistics + and for facts that lack a pedigree; and you turn around and come back at + me with eight pages of weather. + </p> + <p> + I do not see how a person can act so. It is good of you to repeat, with + change of language, in the bulk of your rejoinder, so much of my own + article, and adopt my sentiments, and make them over, and put new buttons + on; and I like the compliment, and am frank to say so; but agreeing with a + person cripples controversy and ought not to be allowed. It is weather; + and of almost the worst sort. It pleases me greatly to hear you discourse + with such approval and expansiveness upon my text: + </p> + <p> + “A foreigner can photograph the exteriors of a nation, but I think + that is as far as he can get. I think that no foreigner can report its + interior;”—[And you say: “A man of average intelligence, + who has passed six months among a people, cannot express opinions that are + worth jotting down, but he can form impressions that are worth repeating. + For my part, I think that foreigners' impressions are more + interesting than native opinions. After all, such impressions merely mean + 'how the country struck the foreigner.'”]—which is + a quite clear way of saying that a foreigner's report is only + valuable when it restricts itself to impressions. It pleases me to have + you follow my lead in that glowing way, but it leaves me nothing to + combat. You should give me something to deny and refute; I would do as + much for you. + </p> + <p> + It pleases me to have you playfully warn the public against taking one of + your books seriously.—[When I published Jonathan and his Continent, + I wrote in a preface addressed to Jonathan: “If ever you should + insist in seeing in this little volume a serious study of your country and + of your countrymen, I warn you that your world-wide fame for humor will be + exploded.”]—Because I used to do that cunning thing myself in + earlier days. I did it in a prefatory note to a book of mine called Tom + Sawyer. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + NOTICE. + + Persons attempting to find a motive in + this narrative will be prosecuted; + persons attempting to find a moral in it + will be banished; persons attempting to + find a plot in it will be shot. + BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR + PER G. G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE. +</pre> + <p> + The kernel is the same in both prefaces, you see—the public must not + take us too seriously. If we remove that kernel we remove the + life-principle, and the preface is a corpse. Yes, it pleases me to have + you use that idea, for it is a high compliment. But it leaves me nothing + to combat; and that is damage to me. + </p> + <p> + Am I seeming to say that your Reply is not a reply at all, M. Bourget? If + so, I must modify that; it is too sweeping. For you have furnished a + general answer to my inquiry as to what France through you—can teach + us.—[“What could France teach America!” exclaims Mark + Twain. France can teach America all the higher pursuits of life, and there + is more artistic feeling and refinement in a street of French workingmen + than in many avenues inhabited by American millionaires. She can teach + her, not perhaps how to work, but how to rest, how to live, how to be + happy. She can teach her that the aim of life is not money-making, but + that money-making is only a means to obtain an end. She can teach her that + wives are not expensive toys, but useful partners, friends, and + confidants, who should always keep men under their wholesome influence by + their diplomacy, their tact, their common-sense, without bumptiousness. + These qualities, added to the highest standard of morality (not angular + and morose, but cheerful morality), are conceded to Frenchwomen by whoever + knows something of French life outside of the Paris boulevards, and Mark + Twain's ill-natured sneer cannot even so much as stain them. + </p> + <p> + I might tell Mark Twain that in France a man who was seen tipsy in his + club would immediately see his name canceled from membership. A man who + had settled his fortune on his wife to avoid meeting his creditors would + be refused admission into any decent society. Many a Frenchman has blown + his brains out rather than declare himself a bankrupt. Now would Mark + Twain remark to this: 'An American is not such a fool: when a + creditor stands in his way he closes his doors, and reopens them the + following day. When he has been a bankrupt three times he can retire from + business?']—It is a good answer. + </p> + <p> + It relates to manners, customs, and morals—three things concerning + which we can never have exhaustive and determinate statistics, and so the + verdicts delivered upon them must always lack conclusiveness and be + subject to revision; but you have stated the truth, possibly, as nearly as + any one could do it, in the circumstances. But why did you choose a detail + of my question which could be answered only with vague hearsay evidence, + and go right by one which could have been answered with deadly facts?—facts + in everybody's reach, facts which none can dispute. I asked what + France could teach us about government. I laid myself pretty wide open, + there; and I thought I was handsomely generous, too, when I did it. France + can teach us how to levy village and city taxes which distribute the + burden with a nearer approach to perfect fairness than is the case in any + other land; and she can teach us the wisest and surest system of + collecting them that exists. She can teach us how to elect a President in + a sane way; and also how to do it without throwing the country into + earthquakes and convulsions that cripple and embarrass business, stir up + party hatred in the hearts of men, and make peaceful people wish the term + extended to thirty years. France can teach us—but enough of that + part of the question. And what else can France teach us? She can teach us + all the fine arts—and does. She throws open her hospitable art + academies, and says to us, “Come”—and we come, troops + and troops of our young and gifted; and she sets over us the ablest + masters in the world and bearing the greatest names; and she, teaches us + all that we are capable of learning, and persuades us and encourages us + with prizes and honors, much as if we were somehow children of her own; + and when this noble education is finished and we are ready to carry it + home and spread its gracious ministries abroad over our nation, and we + come with homage and gratitude and ask France for the bill—there is + nothing to pay. And in return for this imperial generosity, what does + America do? She charges a duty on French works of art! + </p> + <p> + I wish I had your end of this dispute; I should have something worth + talking about. If you would only furnish me something to argue, something + to refute—but you persistently won't. You leave good chances + unutilized and spend your strength in proving and establishing unimportant + things. For instance, you have proven and established these eight facts + here following—a good score as to number, but not worth while: + </p> + <p> + Mark Twain is— + </p> + <p> + 1. “Insulting.” + </p> + <p> + 2. (Sarcastically speaking) “This refined humorist.” + </p> + <p> + 3. Prefers the manure-pile to the violets. + </p> + <p> + 4. Has uttered “an ill-natured sneer.” + </p> + <p> + 5. Is “nasty.” + </p> + <p> + 6. Needs a “lesson in politeness and good manners.” + </p> + <p> + 7. Has published a “nasty article.” + </p> + <p> + 8. Has made remarks “unworthy of a gentleman.”—[“It + is more funny than his” (Mark Twain's) “anecdote, and + would have been less insulting.”] + </p> + <p> + A quoted remark of mine “is a gross insult to a nation friendly to + America.” + </p> + <p> + “He has read La Terre, this refined humorist.” + </p> + <p> + “When Mark Twain visits a garden... he goes in the far-away corner + where the soil is prepared.” + </p> + <p> + “Mark Twain's ill-natured sneer cannot so much as stain them” + (the Frenchwomen). + </p> + <p> + “When he” (Mark Twain) “takes his revenge he is unkind, + unfair, bitter, nasty.” + </p> + <p> + “But not even your nasty article on my country, Mark,” etc. + </p> + <p> + “Mark might certainly have derived from it” (M. Bourget's + book) “a lesson in politeness and good manners.” + </p> + <p> + A quoted remark of mine is “unworthy of a gentleman.”— + </p> + <p> + These are all true, but really they are not valuable; no one cares much + for such finds. In our American magazines we recognize this and suppress + them. We avoid naming them. American writers never allow themselves to + name them. It would look as if they were in a temper, and we hold that + exhibitions of temper in public are not good form except in the very young + and inexperienced. And even if we had the disposition to name them, in + order to fill up a gap when we were short of ideas and arguments, our + magazines would not allow us to do it, because they think that such words + sully their pages. This present magazine is particularly strenuous about + it. Its note to me announcing the forwarding of your proof-sheets to + France closed thus—for your protection: + </p> + <p> + “It is needless to ask you to avoid anything that he might consider + as personal.” + </p> + <p> + It was well enough, as a measure of precaution, but really it was not + needed. You can trust me implicitly, M. Bourget; I shall never call you + any names in print which I should be ashamed to call you with your + unoffending and dearest ones present. + </p> + <p> + Indeed, we are reserved, and particular in America to a degree which you + would consider exaggerated. For instance, we should not write notes like + that one of yours to a lady for a small fault—or a large one.—[When + M. Paul Bourget indulges in a little chaffing at the expense of the + Americans, “who can always get away with a few years' trying + to find out who their grandfathers were,”] he merely makes an + allusion to an American foible; but, forsooth, what a kind man, what a + humorist Mark Twain is when he retorts by calling France a nation of + bastards! How the Americans of culture and refinement will admire him for + thus speaking in their name! + </p> + <p> + Snobbery.... I could give Mark Twain an example of the American specimen. + It is a piquant story. I never published it because I feared my readers + might think that I was giving them a typical illustration of American + character instead of a rare exception. + </p> + <p> + I was once booked by my manager to give a causerie in the drawing-room of + a New York millionaire. I accepted with reluctance. I do not like private + engagements. At five o'clock on the day the causerie was to be + given, the lady sent to my manager to say that she would expect me to + arrive at nine o'clock and to speak for about an hour. Then she + wrote a postscript. Many women are unfortunate there. Their minds are full + of after-thoughts, and the most important part of their letters is + generally to be found after their signature. This lady's P. S. ran + thus: “I suppose he will not expect to be entertained after the + lecture.” + </p> + <p> + I fairly shouted, as Mark Twain would say, and then, indulging myself in a + bit of snobbishness, I was back at her as quick as a flash: + </p> + <p> + “Dear Madam: As a literary man of some reputation, I have many times + had the pleasure of being entertained by the members of the old + aristocracy of France. I have also many times had the pleasure of being + entertained by the members of the old aristocracy of England. If it may + interest you, I can even tell you that I have several times had the honor + of being entertained by royalty; but my ambition has never been so wild as + to expect that one day I might be entertained by the aristocracy of New + York. No, I do not expect to be entertained by you, nor do I want you to + expect me to entertain you and your friends to-night, for I decline to + keep the engagement.” + </p> + <p> + Now, I could fill a book on America with reminiscences of this sort, + adding a few chapters on bosses and boodlers, on New York 'chronique + scandaleuse', on the tenement houses of the large cities, on the + gambling-hells of Denver, and the dens of San Francisco, and what not! + [But not even your nasty article on my country, Mark, will make me do it.]—We + should not think it kind. No matter how much we might have associated with + kings and nobilities, we should not think it right to crush her with it + and make her ashamed of her lowlier walk in life; for we have a saying, + “Who humiliates my mother includes his own.” + </p> + <p> + Do I seriously imagine you to be the author of that strange letter, M. + Bourget? Indeed I do not. I believe it to have been surreptitiously + inserted by your amanuensis when your back was turned. I think he did it + with a good motive, expecting it to add force and piquancy to your + article, but it does not reflect your nature, and I know it will grieve + you when you see it. I also think he interlarded many other things which + you will disapprove of when you see them. I am certain that all the harsh + names discharged at me come from him, not you. No doubt you could have + proved me entitled to them with as little trouble as it has cost him to do + it, but it would have been your disposition to hunt game of a higher + quality. + </p> + <p> + Why, I even doubt if it is you who furnish me all that excellent + information about Balzac and those others.—[“Now the style of + M. Bourget and many other French writers is apparently a closed letter to + Mark Twain; but let us leave that alone. Has he read Erckmann-Chatrian, + Victor Hugo, Lamartine, Edmond About, Cherbuliez, Renan? Has he read + Gustave Droz's 'Monsieur, Madame, et Bebe', and those + books which leave for a long time a perfume about you? Has he read the + novels of Alexandre Dumas, Eugene Sue, George Sand, and Balzac? Has he + read Victor Hugo's 'Les Miserables' and 'Notre + Dame de Paris'? Has he read or heard the plays of Sandeau, Augier, + Dumas, and Sardou, the works of those Titans of modern literature, whose + names will be household words all over the world for hundreds of years to + come? He has read La Terre—this kind-hearted, refined humorist! When + Mark Twain visits a garden does he smell the violets, the roses, the + jasmine, or the honeysuckle? No, he goes in the far-away corner where the + soil is prepared. Hear what he says: 'I wish M. Paul Bourget had + read more of our novels before he came. It is the only way to thoroughly + understand a people. When I found I was coming to Paris I read La Terre.'”]—All + this in simple justice to you—and to me; for, to gravely accept + those interlardings as yours would be to wrong your head and heart, and at + the same time convict myself of being equipped with a vacancy where my + penetration ought to be lodged. + </p> + <p> + And now finally I must uncover the secret pain, the wee sore from which + the Reply grew—the anecdote which closed my recent article—and + consider how it is that this pimple has spread to these cancerous + dimensions. If any but you had dictated the Reply, M. Bourget, I would + know that that anecdote was twisted around and its intention magnified + some hundreds of times, in order that it might be used as a pretext to + creep in the back way. But I accuse you of nothing—nothing but + error. When you say that I “retort by calling France a nation of + bastards,” it is an error. And not a small one, but a large one. I + made no such remark, nor anything resembling it. Moreover, the magazine + would not have allowed me to use so gross a word as that. + </p> + <p> + You told an anecdote. A funny one—I admit that. It hit a foible of + our American aristocracy, and it stung me—I admit that; it stung me + sharply. It was like this: You found some ancient portraits of French + kings in the gallery of one of our aristocracy, and you said: + </p> + <p> + “He has the Grand Monarch, but where is the portrait of his + grandfather?” That is, the American aristocrat's grandfather. + </p> + <p> + Now that hits only a few of us, I grant—just the upper crust only—but + it hits exceedingly hard. + </p> + <p> + I wondered if there was any way of getting back at you. In one of your + chapters I found this chance: + </p> + <p> + “In our high Parisian existence, for instance, we find applied to + arts and luxury, and to debauchery, all the powers and all the weaknesses + of the French soul.” + </p> + <p> + You see? Your “higher Parisian” class—not everybody, not + the nation, but only the top crust of the Nation—applies to + debauchery all the powers of its soul. + </p> + <p> + I argued to myself that that energy must produce results. So I built an + anecdote out of your remark. In it I make Napoleon Bonaparte say to me—but + see for yourself the anecdote (ingeniously clipped and curtailed) in + paragraph eleven of your Reply.—[So, I repeat, Mark Twain does not + like M. Paul Bourget's book. So long as he makes light fun of the + great French writer he is at home, he is pleasant, he is the American + humorist we know. When he takes his revenge (and where is the reason for + taking a revenge?) he is unkind, unfair, bitter, nasty.] + </p> + <p> + For example: See his answer to a Frenchman who jokingly remarks to him: + </p> + <p> + “I suppose life can never get entirely dull to an American, because + whenever he can't strike up any other way to put in his time, he can + always get away with a few years trying to find out who his grandfather + was.” + </p> + <p> + Hear the answer: + </p> + <p> + “I reckon a Frenchman's got his little standby for a dull + time, too; because when all other interests fail, he can turn in and see + if he can't find out who his father was.” + </p> + <p> + The first remark is a good-humored bit of chaffing on American snobbery. I + may be utterly destitute of humor, but I call the second remark a + gratuitous charge of immorality hurled at the French women—a remark + unworthy of a man who has the ear of the public, unworthy of a gentleman, + a gross insult to a nation friendly to America, a nation that helped Mark + Twain's ancestors in their struggle for liberty, a nation where + to-day it is enough to say that you are American to see every door open + wide to you. + </p> + <p> + If Mark Twain was hard up in search of, a French “chestnut,” I + might have told him the following little anecdote. It is more funny than + his, and would have been less insulting: Two little street boys are + abusing each other. “Ah, hold your tongue,” says one, “you + ain't got no father.” + </p> + <p> + “Ain't got no father!” replies the other; “I've + got more fathers than you.” + </p> + <p> + Now, then, your anecdote about the grandfathers hurt me. Why? Because it + had a point. It wouldn't have hurt me if it hadn't had point. + You wouldn't have wasted space on it if it hadn't had point. + </p> + <p> + My anecdote has hurt you. Why? Because it had point, I suppose. It wouldn't + have hurt you if it hadn't had point. I judged from your remark + about the diligence and industry of the high Parisian upper crust that it + would have some point, but really I had no idea what a gold-mine I had + struck. I never suspected that the point was going to stick into the + entire nation; but of course you know your nation better than I do, and if + you think it punctures them all, I have to yield to your judgment. But you + are to blame, your own self. Your remark misled me. I supposed the + industry was confined to that little unnumerous upper layer. + </p> + <p> + Well, now that the unfortunate thing has been done, let us do what we can + to undo it. There must be a way, M. Bourget, and I am willing to do + anything that will help; for I am as sorry as you can be yourself. + </p> + <p> + I will tell you what I think will be the very thing. + </p> + <p> + We will swap anecdotes. I will take your anecdote and you take mine. I + will say to the dukes and counts and princes of the ancient nobility of + France: + </p> + <p> + “Ha, ha! You must have a pretty hard time trying to find out who + your grandfathers were?” + </p> + <p> + They will merely smile indifferently and not feel hurt, because they can + trace their lineage back through centuries. + </p> + <p> + And you will hurl mine at every individual in the American nation, saying: + </p> + <p> + “And you must have a pretty hard time trying to find out who your + fathers were.” They will merely smile indifferently, and not feel + hurt, because they haven't any difficulty in finding their fathers. + </p> + <p> + Do you get the idea? The whole harm in the anecdotes is in the point, you + see; and when we swap them around that way, they haven't any. + </p> + <p> + That settles it perfectly and beautifully, and I am glad I thought of it. + I am very glad indeed, M. Bourget; for it was just that little wee thing + that caused the whole difficulty and made you dictate the Reply, and your + amanuensis call me all those hard names which the magazines dislike so. + And I did it all in fun, too, trying to cap your funny anecdote with + another one—on the give-and-take principle, you know—which is + American. I didn't know that with the French it was all give and no + take, and you didn't tell me. But now that I have made everything + comfortable again, and fixed both anecdotes so they can never have any + point any more, I know you will forgive me. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Essays on Paul Bourget +by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ESSAYS ON PAUL BOURGET *** + +***** This file should be named 3173-h.htm or 3173-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/1/7/3173/ + +Produced by David Widger + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project +Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +https://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation” + or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project +Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase “Project Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +“Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, “Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.” + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +“Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right +of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +https://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: https://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + +</pre> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> + </body> +</html> |