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diff --git a/31732.txt b/31732.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..86f9601 --- /dev/null +++ b/31732.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1055 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Sex Side of Life, by Mary Dennett + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Sex Side of Life + An Explanation for Young People + +Author: Mary Dennett + +Release Date: March 22, 2010 [EBook #31732] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SEX SIDE OF LIFE *** + + + + +Produced by Michael Roe and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This book was +produced from scanned images of public domain material +from the Google Print project.) + + + + + + + + + +THE SEX SIDE OF LIFE + +_An Explanation for Young People_ + + +BY MARY WARE DENNETT + +COPYRIGHT, 1919, BY MARY WARE DENNETT + +SIXTH PRINTING + +Extra copies of this booklet may be had at the following rates from +the author + + MRS. MARY WARE DENNETT + 81 Singer Street + Astoria. Long Island, New York + + Single copies $0.25 each + Orders of five .20 " + " " ten .18 " + " " fifty .16 2/3 " + " " one hundred .15 " + + + + +THE SEX SIDE OF LIFE FIRST APPEARED IN THE _Medical Review of +Reviews_ FOR FEBRUARY, 1918. THE FOLLOWING IS QUOTED FROM THE +EDITOR'S FOREWORD. + + +We have come across so much rubbish on this subject that we drifted +into the conclusion that an honest sex essay for young folks would +not be produced by this generation. + +Recently there came to this desk a manuscript bearing the title _The +Sex Side of Life_ and the sub-title _An Explanation for Young +People_, written by Mary Ware Dennett. No editor ever confesses that +he reads an article with prejudice, but we will admit that we +expected this MS would be "returned with thanks." It was reasonable +to suppose that a laywoman would not succeed where physicians had +failed. Even after we had read the introduction we were not +convinced, for we have met several books whose texts do not fulfill +the promises made by the preface. But after reading a few pages of +the essay itself, we realized we were listening to the music of a +different drummer. Instead of the familiar notes of fear and +pretense, we were surprised to hear the clarion call of truth. + +Mary Ware Dennett's _Sex Side of Life_ is "on the level." In the +pages of the _Medical Review of Reviews_, her essay will reach only +the profession, but we sincerely hope that this splendid contribution +will be reprinted in pamphlet form and distributed by thousands to +the general public. We are tolerably familiar with Anglo-American +writings on sexology, but we know nothing that equals Mrs. Dennett's +brochure. Physicians and social workers are frequently asked: "What +shall I say to my growing child?" Mary Ware Dennett, in her rational +sex primer, at last furnishes a satisfactory answer. + + V. R. + + + + +THE SEX SIDE OF LIFE + + +INTRODUCTION FOR ELDERS + +In reading several dozen books on sex matters for the young with a +view to selecting the best for my own children, I found none that I +was willing to put into their hands, without first guarding them +against what I considered very misleading and harmful impressions, +which they would otherwise be sure to acquire in reading them. That +is the excuse for this article. + +It is far more specific than most sex information written for young +people. I believe we owe it to children to be specific if we talk +about the subject at all. + +From a careful observation of youthful curiosity and a very vivid +recollection of my own childhood, I have tried to explain frankly the +points about which there is the greatest inquiry. These points are +_not_ frankly or clearly explained in most sex literature. They are +avoided, partly from embarrassment, but more, apparently, because +those who have undertaken to instruct the children are not really +clear in their own minds as to the proper status of the sex relation. + +I found that from the physiological point of view, the question was +handled with limitations and reservations. From the point of natural +science it was often handled with sentimentality, the child being led +from a semi-esthetic study of the reproduction of flowers and animals +to the acceptance of a similar idea for human beings. From the moral +point of view it was handled least satisfactorily of all, the child +being given a jumble of conflicting ideas, with no means of +correlating them,--fear of venereal disease, one's duty to suppress +"animal passion," the sacredness of marriage, and so forth. And from +the emotional point of view, the subject was not handled at all. + +This one omission seems to me to be the key to the whole situation, +and it is the basis of the radical departure I have made from the +precedents in most sex literature for children. + +Concerning all four points of view just mentioned, there are certain +departures from the traditional method that have seemed to me worth +making. + +On the physiological side I have given, as far as possible, the +proper terminology for the sex organs and functions. Children have +had to read the expurgated literature which has been specially +prepared for them in poetic or colloquial terms, and then are +needlessly mystified when they hear things called by their real +names. + +On the side of natural science, I have emphasized our unlikeness to +the plants and animals rather than our likeness, for while the points +we have in common with the lower orders make an interesting section +in our general education, it is knowing about the vital points in +which we differ that helps us to solve the sexual problems of +maturity; and the child needs that knowledge precisely as he needs +knowledge of everything which will fortify him for wise decisions +when he is grown. + +On the moral side, I have tried to avoid confusion and dogmatism in +the following ways: by eliminating fear of venereal disease as an +appeal for strictly limited sex relations, stating candidly that +venereal disease _is_ becoming curable; by barring out all mention of +"brute" or "animal" passion, terms frequently used in pleas for +chastity and self control, as such talk is an aspersion on the brutes +and has done children much harm in giving them the impression that +there is an essential baseness in the sex relation; by inviting the +inference that marriage is "sacred" by virtue of its being a +reflection of human ideality rather than because it is a legalized +institution. + +Unquestionably the stress which most writers have laid upon the +beauty of nature's plans for perpetuating the plant and animal +species, and the effort to have the child carry over into human life +some sense of that beauty has come from a most commendable instinct +to protect the child from the natural shock of the revelation of so +much that is unesthetic and revolting in human sex life. The nearness +of the sex organs to the excretory organs, the pain and messiness of +childbirth are elements which certainly need some compensating +antidote to prevent their making too disagreeable and +disproportionate an impress on the child's mind. + +The results are doubtless good as far as they go, but they do not go +nearly far enough. What else is there to call upon to help out? Why, +the one thing which has been persistently neglected by practically +all the sex writers,--the emotional side of sex experience. Parents +and teachers have been afraid of it and distrustful of it. In not a +single one of all the books for young people that I have thus far +read has there been the frank, unashamed declaration that the climax +of sex emotion is an unsurpassed joy, something which rightly belongs +to every normal human being, a joy to be proudly and serenely +experienced. Instead there has been all too evident an inference that +sex emotion is a thing to be ashamed of, that yielding to it is +indulgence which must be curbed as much as possible, that all thought +and understanding of it must be rigorously postponed, at any rate +till after marriage. + +We give to young folks, in their general education, as much as they +can grasp of science and ethics and art, and yet in their sex +education, which rightly has to do with all of these, we have said, +"Give them only the bare physiological facts, lest they be +prematurely stimulated." Others of us, realizing that the bare +physiological facts are shocking to many a sensitive child, and must +somehow be softened with something pleasant, have said, "Give them +the facts, yes, but see to it that they are so related to the wonders +of evolution and the beauties of the natural world that the shock is +minimized." But none of us has yet dared to say, "Yes, give them the +facts, give them the nature study, too, but also give them some +conception of sex life as a vivifying joy, as a vital art, as a thing +to be studied and developed with reverence for its big meaning, with +understanding of its far-reaching reactions, psychologically and +spiritually, with temperant restraint, good taste and the highest +idealism." We have contented ourselves by assuming that marriage +makes sex relations respectable. We have not yet said that it is only +beautiful sex relations that can make marriage lovely. + +Young people are just as capable of being guided and inspired in +their thought about sex emotion as in their taste and ideals in +literature and ethics, and just as they imperatively need to have +their general taste and ideals cultivated as a preparation for mature +life, so do they need to have some understanding of the marvelous +place which sex emotion has in life. + +Only such an understanding can be counted on to give them the self +control that is born of knowledge, not fear, the reverence that will +prevent premature or trivial connections, the good taste and finesse +that will make their sex life when they reach maturity a vitalizing +success. + + +AN EXPLANATION FOR YOUNG PEOPLE + +When boys and girls get into their "teens," a side of them begins to +wake up which has been asleep or only partly developed ever since +they were born, that is, the sex side of them. It is the most +wonderful and interesting part of growing up. This waking is partly +of the mind, partly of the body and partly of the feelings or +emotions. + +You can't help wanting to understand all about it, but somehow you +find yourself a little embarrassed in asking all the questions that +come into your mind, and often you don't feel quite like talking +about it freely, even to your father and mother. Sometimes it is +easier to talk with your best friends, because they are your own age, +and are beginning to have these new feelings too. + +But remember that young people don't know nearly so much about it as +older people do, and that the older ones really want to help you with +their experience and advice; and yet, they, like you, often feel +rather embarrassed themselves and don't know how to go about it I +suppose it is because it is all so very personal and still remains +somewhat mysterious, in spite of all that people know about it. + +If our bodies were just like machines, then we could learn about them +and manage them quite scientifically as we do automobiles, but they +are not like that. They are more than machines that have to be +supplied with fuel (food) and kept clean and oiled (by bathing, +exercise and sleep). They are the homes of our souls and our +feelings, and that makes all the difference in the world in the way +we act, and it makes what we have to learn, not limited to science +only, but it has to include more difficult and complicated things +like psychology and morality. + +Maybe I can't make this article help you, but I remember so well what +I wanted to know and how I felt when I was young that I am now going +to try. And I will tell you to start out with that there is a great +deal that nobody knows yet, in spite of the fact that the human race +has been struggling thousands of years to learn. + +Life itself is still a mystery, especially human life. Human life, in +many respects, is like plant and animal life, but in many ways it is +entirely different, and the ways in which it is different are almost +more important for us to think about than the ways in which it is +similar. In all life, except in the very lowest forms, new life is +created by the coming together, in a very close and special way, of +the male and female elements. You have studied at school about the +plants and you probably have observed certain of the animals, so you +know something about what this means if you do not understand it +thoroughly. + +But what you want to know most of all is just how it is with human +beings. You want to know just what this coming together is, how it is +done, how it starts the new life, the baby, and how the baby is born. +You want to understand the wonderful sex organs, that are different +in men and women, what each part is for and how it works. + +If you feel very curious and excited and shy about it, don't let +yourself be a bit worried or ashamed. Your feelings are quite +natural, and most everybody else has felt just the same way at your +age. Remember that strong feelings are immensely valuable to us. All +we need to do is to steer them in the right direction and keep them +well balanced and proportioned. + +Now in order to understand something of why this subject stirs us so, +we must notice in what ways we human beings are _different_ from the +plants and animals. About the lowest form of life is the amoeba. It +looks like a little lump of jelly, and it produces its young by +merely separating itself in two. One part drifts off from the other +part and each becomes a separate live being. There is no male and no +female and they didn't _know_ they were doing it. In the plants a +higher stage of development is reached: there is the male and the +female and they join together, not by coming to each other, or +because they _know_ they belong together, but quite unconsciously, +with the aid of the bees and other insects and the wind, the male +part is carried to the female part--they mix, and at once the seed of +a new plant begins to grow. + +Then come to the animals. In all higher forms of animal life, the +male creature _comes_ to the female creature and himself places +within her body the germ which, when it meets the egg which is +waiting for it, immediately makes a new life begin to grow. But the +animals come together without _knowing why_. They do it from instinct +only, and they do it in what is called the mating season, which is +usually in the spring. The mating season happens once a year among +most of the higher animals, like birds and wild cattle, but to some +animals it comes several times a year like the rabbits, for instance. +You doubtless know already that the more highly developed the animal, +the longer it takes the young one to grow before it is born, and the +longer the period when it is helpless to provide its own food and +care. + +Now we come to human beings, and see how different they are! They +have no regular mating season, and while there is a certain amount of +instinct in men and women which tends to bring them together, the sex +impulse among highly developed people is far more the result of their +feeling of love for each other than mere animal instinct alone. Many +of the animals make no choice at all in their mating. Any near-by +female will do for the male. But among some of the higher animals the +male has a special instinct for a certain female, and the female will +not tolerate any but a certain male. Most of the animals have +different mates every season, though there are a few kinds where the +male and female, once having mated, remain mates for years, sometimes +even for life. But it is _only human beings_ whose mating is what we +call "falling in love," and that is an experience far beyond anything +that the animals know. + +It means that a man and a woman feel that they _belong_ to each other +in a way that they belong to no one else; it makes them wonderfully +happy to be together; they find they want to live together, work +together, play together, and to have children together, that is, to +marry each other; and their dream is to be happy together all their +lives. Sometimes the dream does not come true, and there is much +failure and unhappiness, but just the same people go right on trying +to make it a success, because it is what they care most for. + +The sex attraction is the strongest feeling that human beings know, +and unlike the animals, it is far more than a mere sensation of the +body. It takes in the emotions and the mind and the soul, and that is +why our happiness is so dependent upon it. + +When a man and a woman fall in love so that they really belong to +each other, the physical side of the relation is this: both of them +feel at intervals a peculiar thrill or glow, particularly in the +sexual organs, and it naturally culminates after they have gone to +bed at night. The man's special sex organ or penis, becomes enlarged +and stiffened, instead of soft and limp as ordinarily, and thus it +easily enters the passage in the woman's body called the vagina or +birth-canal, which leads to the uterus or womb, which as perhaps you +already know is the sac in which the egg or embryo grows into a baby. +The penis and the vagina are about the same size, as Nature intended +them to fit each other. By a rhythmic movement of the penis in and +out, the sex act reaches an exciting climax or orgasm, when there is +for the woman a peculiarly satisfying contraction of the muscles of +the passage and for the man, the expulsion of the semen, the liquid +which contains the germs of life. This is followed by a sensation of +peaceful happiness and sleepy relaxation. It is the very greatest +physical pleasure to be had in all human experience, and it helps +very much to increase all other kinds of pleasure also. It is at this +time that married people not only are closest to each other +physically, but they feel closer to each other in every other way +too. It is then most of all that they feel _sure_ they belong to each +other. + +The sex act is called by various names, such as coitus, coition, +copulation, cohabitation, sex-intercourse, the sex-embrace, etc. But +all these terms refer to the same thing. The first coitus is apt to +be somewhat painful for the woman, as there is usually a thin +membrane, called the hymen, partly closing the vagina which has to be +broken through, but all women do not have it and it varies in size +and thickness with different people. + +Without the sex act, no babies could be created, for it is by this +means only that the semen which contains the male part of the germ of +life can meet the ovum or the female part of the germ of life. When +the two parts come together in the woman's body under just the right +conditions, a baby begins to grow--at first so tiny that it could +hardly be seen without a microscope, and finally, after nine months' +growth in the uterus or womb of the mother till it weighs about seven +or eight pounds, it is born, a live human being. The birth process is +called _labor_, and it is indeed labor, for it usually means much +pain and struggle for the mother, although the baby's journey from +the uterus to the world is only a few inches. It takes anywhere from +an hour to two days for a baby to be born. Doctors are learning more +and more how to lessen the pain, and by the end of another generation +it ought to be possible for child-birth to be practically painless +for most women. By that time people will more generally understand +how to have babies _only_ when they want them and can afford them. At +present, unfortunately, it is against the law to give people +information as to how to manage their sex relations so that no baby +will be created unless the father and mother are ready and glad to +have it happen. + +Now you must understand something about this intricate sexual +machinery. Plate I shows the woman's organs and Plate 2 the man's. +Both these illustrations are sections, as if the body were cut in two +vertically. + +[Illustration: *Plate One*] + +1. Backbone. + +2. Rectum, which carries away the solid waste matter from the bowels. + +3. Anus, the opening of the rectum. + +4. Bladder, which holds the waste water or urine. + +5. Ovary, in which grows the ovum or egg. + +6. Fallopian tube, which carries the ovum to the uterus. + +7. Uterus or Womb, in which the egg or ovum grows into a baby. + +8. Mouth of the Uterus, through which the semen has to go to meet the +ovum. + +9. Vagina or Birth Canal, into which the penis fits during the sex +act. + +10. Entrance to the Vagina. + +11. Entrance to the Urethra, which carries away the waste water or +urine. + +[Illustration: *Plate Two*] + +1. Backbone. + +2. Rectum, which carries away the solid waste matter from the bowels. + +3. Anus, the opening of the rectum. + +4. Bladder, which holds the waste water or urine. + +5. Penis, which fits into the vagina, during the sex act. + +6. Prepuce, or fore-skin. + +7. Scrotum, the bag which holds the testicles. + +8. Testicles, in which grow the spermatozoa, or germs of life. + +9. Vas Deferens, which carries the spermatozoa to the urethra. + +10. Prostate Gland. + +11. Seminal Vesicle. + +Both 10 and 11 secrete liquids that make part of the semen, and which +nourish the spermatozoa. + +12. Urethra, which carries the spermatozoa, also the urine. + +13. Cowper's Gland, which secretes a liquid which makes the urethra +alkaline. + +14. One of the spermatozoa, or germs of life, much magnified. + +Sometimes it seems very distasteful to us that the sex or generative +organs should be placed so near to what we might call our "sewerage +system." We do not like to have to connect in our thought anything so +sweet and nice as a baby or so happy and precious as the sex embrace +with the waste of our bodies, which we want to be rid of with as +little thought as possible, as it is disagreeable at best, and we +wonder why we were created this way. But we have to remember that the +sex organs are very delicate and they are probably placed where they +can best be protected from injury. It would be hard to think of any +other part of the body that would be safer than just this place. At +any rate there they are, and our duty is to understand them as best +we can, and take mighty good care of them as our most wonderful +possession. + +Looking at Plate I, you will see that the woman's body provides the +egg or ovum. These grow, many thousands of them, in two small sacs +called ovaries, and every little while (usually every four weeks, but +not always) an ovum ripens and passes out from the ovary through the +fallopian tube (there are two of these, one leading from each ovary) +into the uterus or womb, a process which takes several days. Here it +may be met by the male life element, and if so, it becomes fertilized +and remains in the uterus to grow into a baby. This is called +fertilization, fecundation, impregnation or conception. But if the +egg is not fertilized, it passes from the uterus through the vagina +and out of the body. The ovaries take turns in developing the ovum. + +Every twenty-eight days or so a woman, from the time she is about +thirteen or fourteen till she is about fifty, has a slight flow of +blood from the uterus, which is called menstruation. The reasons for +this are not wholly understood, but it is supposed there is an extra +supply of blood provided periodically for the growth of a baby, but +when there is no baby starting to grow, the blood is not needed so it +flows away (about once in four weeks). Often the unfertilized ovum is +carried away with it, but the two things do not necessarily happen at +the same time. Menstruation lasts from three to five days and young +girls sometimes have pain then and feel languid and "unwell." If so +they should be quieter than usual and avoid cold baths and getting +their feet wet. But menstruation is not an illness, and a girl in +perfect health finds it only a slight inconvenience. + +The ovaries not only produce the egg, but they also produce a +secretion that is absorbed by the blood and which is most necessary +in the development of a girl into a woman. It has an almost magical +effect in adding the specially womanly qualities to the body and +character. + +Looking at Plate 2, you will see the man's sex machinery. The +testicles are to a man what the ovaries are to a woman. They are two +sacs held in a bag of rather thin loose skin called the scrotum, and +it is here that the sperm (spermatozoa) or germ of life grows. Just +how no one really knows. The spermatozoa are very tiny and the +testicles hold many thousands of them. Under the microscope they show +a sort of head and tail like a pollywog. They are very much alive and +move by a rapid wiggling of the tail part. + +Leading from each testicle is a tube called the vas deferens, through +which the sperm goes at the time of the sex act on its way out to +meet the ovum in the woman's body. On the way it is joined by two +other liquids, one secreted by the seminal vesicles (of which there +are two) and the other by the prostate gland. These three liquids +together form the semen, which at the times of sexual excitement is +forced out through the penis into the vagina of the woman. + +You will notice that the woman has separate tubes for the urine +(waste water) and the sex function, but the man uses the same tube +for both: that is, in the woman the bladder which holds the urine is +emptied by a separate tube, the urethra, while in the man the urethra +not only empties the bladder, but it also carries the semen. + +The use of the seminal vesicles and the prostate gland is to supply a +means of nourishment for the spermatozoa until they reach the ovum, +which may not be for several days after the semen is expelled into +the vagina. + +Then there are two small glands called Cowper's glands, which make +the passage in the penis alkaline, as the spermatozoa can only remain +alive in an alkaline secretion and the urine is acid, so always just +before the penis forces out the semen, the secretion from Cowper's +glands goes ahead to protect the sperm from being destroyed by any +remaining traces of the acid urine. + +At the end of the penis is a fold or cap of skin, the prepuce, which +the doctor often removes for the sake of the boy's health, a process +called circumcision, and it is a great relief to boys whose prepuce +or foreskin is too tight as to make difficulty in keeping clean. All +Jewish babies are regularly circumcised, a custom dating way back to +Bible times. + +There is a constant internal secretion from the testicles of a man +just as from the ovaries of a woman, and it has the same beneficial +effect on the whole being. It makes a boy what we call manly or +virile. The value of the internal secretions of the sex organs in +both boys and girls is so great that for that reason, if for no +other, the whole sex machinery must be kept in perfect health. + +Boys have a certain discomfort to bear which is difficult for them +just as menstruation is difficult for girls. But by knowing the +meaning of things and by taking care of themselves, they need not be +seriously troubled by it. Every once in a while as they are growing +up, but before they are old enough to really fall in love and marry +and have children, boys feel a sort of stirring of the sex +organs--sometimes so much so that it makes them quite uneasy and +anxious for relief. The thing to do is to keep as calm as possible +and keep very busy and very healthy. Then the discomfort will not be +too great, and nature will usually bring relief by letting the +accumulated semen pass off during sleep. This is called a seminal +emission, and is perfectly harmless. Sometimes a vivid sexual dream +comes with it, but that too will do no harm, unless a boy lets his +mind dwell on it till the excitement grows unnatural. This emission +may happen every two weeks or so, but it is not a regular thing. Boys +are sometimes alarmed and fear their sex machinery is out of order, +but it is a perfectly natural thing, and only means that the organs +are relieving themselves of the extra secretions that are not needed +till the time comes for the real sex relation. + +Boys and girls sometimes get the habit of handling their sex organs +so as to get them excited. This is called masturbation or self-abuse. +It is also called auto-erotism. Such handling can be made to result +in a climax something like that of the natural sex act. For +generations this habit has been considered wrong and dangerous, but +recently many of the best scientists have concluded that the chief +harm has come from the worry caused by doing it, when one believed it +to be wrong. This worry has often been so great that real illness, +both of the mind and body has resulted. There is no occasion for +worry unless the habit is carried to excess. But remember that until +you are mature, the sex secretions are specially needed within your +body, and if you use them wastefully before you are grown, you are +depriving your body of what it needs. So do not stimulate your sex +organs into action _intentionally_. And do not yield to the impulse +to handle the sex organs in order to relieve the pressure which may +occasionally feel overwhelming, unless you find that nature does not +bring you relief during sleep. + +Remember always that your whole sex machinery is more easily put out +of order than any other part of your body, and it must be treated +with great care and respect all along. It is not fair to ourselves or +to each other to do a single thing that will make us either weak or +unnatural. Remember that your sex organs have a very powerful, even +if invisible, effect upon your whole being, and up to the time that +you are really old enough to love some one to whom you want to +actually belong, you must _let your sex machinery_ grow strong and +ready for its good, happy work when the right time comes. The sex +organs during your youth do not need frequent exercise in the same +sense that your muscles do. They are active all the time with their +internal secretions which strengthen both you and them. + +Don't ever let any one drag you into nasty talk or thought about sex. +It is _not_ a nasty subject. It should mean everything that is +highest and best and happiest in human life, but it can be easily +perverted and ruined and made the cause of horrible suffering of both +mind and body. + +There are two very terrible sexual diseases--syphilis and gonorrhea. +They are both frightfully infectious and very difficult to cure. +These diseases are usually acquired by sex contact with a diseased +person, but they can also be gotten by using public drinking cups, +towels, water-closets, or in any way by which an infected moist +article can come in contact with one's skin. The worst thing about +these diseases is that they are such invisible enemies. After the +outside appearance of the disease is gone, they often go reaching +farther and farther into the body, making awful results that hang on +for years. Men who get diseased frequently give the infection to +their wives, often causing them to be so ill that surgical operations +are necessary, by which their sex organs are so crippled that they +can never be mothers; and, worst of all, innocent unborn babies are +infected and come into the world sick or deformed or blind. + +Men often get these dreadful diseases by having sex relations with +women who are called prostitutes or "bad women," that is, they are +women who are not in love with any one, but who make money by selling +their sex relations to men who pay for them. Many prostitutes become +diseased, and there is, as yet, no way for either them or the men who +visit them to be positively safe from infection. But the doctors are +making progress in their study of these diseases, and they are +finding out how to control and cure them, just as they have in the +case of tuberculosis. + +But even if presently these venereal diseases, as they are called, +can be entirely cured and prevented, prostitution will still remain a +thing to hate. For the idea of sex relations between people who do +not love each other, who do not feel any sense of belonging to each +other, will always be revolting to highly developed, sensitive +people. + +People's lives grow finer and their characters better, if they have +sex relations only with those they love. And those who make the +wretched mistake of yielding to the sex impulse alone when there is +no love to go with it, usually live to despise themselves for their +weakness and their bad taste. They are always ashamed of doing it, +and they try to keep it secret from their families and those they +respect. You can be sure that whatever people are ashamed to do is +something that can never bring them real happiness. It is true that +one's sex relations are the most personal and private matters in the +world, and they belong just to us and to no one else, but while we +may be shy and reserved about them, _we are not ashamed_. + +When two people really love each other, they don't care who knows it. +They are proud of their happiness. But no man is ever proud of his +connection with a prostitute and no prostitute is ever proud of her +business. + +Sex relations belong to love, and love is never a _business_. Love is +the nicest thing in the world, but it can't be bought. And the sex +side of it is the biggest and most important side of it, so it is the +one side of us that we must be absolutely sure to keep in good order +and perfect health, if we are going to be happy ourselves or make any +one else happy. + + + + +TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE + + +Some words were hyphenated inconsistently in the original pamphlet +(child-birth, fore-skin). This eText keeps the original hyphenation. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Sex Side of Life, by Mary Dennett + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SEX SIDE OF LIFE *** + +***** This file should be named 31732.txt or 31732.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/1/7/3/31732/ + +Produced by Michael Roe and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This book was +produced from scanned images of public domain material +from the Google Print project.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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