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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.12.12.00*END* + + + + + +This etext was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + + + +A Dog's Tale + +by Mark Twain + + + + +CHAPTER I + +My father was a St. Bernard, my mother was a collie, but I am a +Presbyterian. This is what my mother told me, I do not know these nice +distinctions myself. To me they are only fine large words meaning +nothing. My mother had a fondness for such; she liked to say them, and +see other dogs look surprised and envious, as wondering how she got so +much education. But, indeed, it was not real education; it was only +show: she got the words by listening in the dining-room and drawing-room +when there was company, and by going with the children to Sunday-school +and listening there; and whenever she heard a large word she said it over +to herself many times, and so was able to keep it until there was a +dogmatic gathering in the neighborhood, then she would get it off, and +surprise and distress them all, from pocket-pup to mastiff, which +rewarded her for all her trouble. If there was a stranger he was nearly +sure to be suspicious, and when he got his breath again he would ask her +what it meant. And she always told him. He was never expecting this but +thought he would catch her; so when she told him, he was the one that +looked ashamed, whereas he had thought it was going to be she. The +others were always waiting for this, and glad of it and proud of her, for +they knew what was going to happen, because they had had experience. +When she told the meaning of a big word they were all so taken up with +admiration that it never occurred to any dog to doubt if it was the right +one; and that was natural, because, for one thing, she answered up so +promptly that it seemed like a dictionary speaking, and for another +thing, where could they find out whether it was right or not? for she was +the only cultivated dog there was. By and by, when I was older, she +brought home the word Unintellectual, one time, and worked it pretty hard +all the week at different gatherings, making much unhappiness and +despondency; and it was at this time that I noticed that during that week +she was asked for the meaning at eight different assemblages, and flashed +out a fresh definition every time, which showed me that she had more +presence of mind than culture, though I said nothing, of course. She had +one word which she always kept on hand, and ready, like a life-preserver, +a kind of emergency word to strap on when she was likely to get washed +overboard in a sudden way--that was the word Synonymous. When she +happened to fetch out a long word which had had its day weeks before and +its prepared meanings gone to her dump-pile, if there was a stranger +there of course it knocked him groggy for a couple of minutes, then he +would come to, and by that time she would be away down wind on another +tack, and not expecting anything; so when he'd hail and ask her to cash +in, I (the only dog on the inside of her game) could see her canvas +flicker a moment-- but only just a moment--then it would belly out taut +and full, and she would say, as calm as a summer's day, "It's synonymous +with supererogation," or some godless long reptile of a word like that, +and go placidly about and skim away on the next tack, perfectly +comfortable, you know, and leave that stranger looking profane and +embarrassed, and the initiated slatting the floor with their tails in +unison and their faces transfigured with a holy joy. + +And it was the same with phrases. She would drag home a whole phrase, if +it had a grand sound, and play it six nights and two matinees, and +explain it a new way every time--which she had to, for all she cared for +was the phrase; she wasn't interested in what it meant, and knew those +dogs hadn't wit enough to catch her, anyway. Yes, she was a daisy! She +got so she wasn't afraid of anything, she had such confidence in the +ignorance of those creatures. She even brought anecdotes that she had +heard the family and the dinner-guests laugh and shout over; and as a +rule she got the nub of one chestnut hitched onto another chestnut, +where, of course, it didn't fit and hadn't any point; and when she +delivered the nub she fell over and rolled on the floor and laughed and +barked in the most insane way, while I could see that she was wondering +to herself why it didn't seem as funny as it did when she first heard it. +But no harm was done; the others rolled and barked too, privately ashamed +of themselves for not seeing the point, and never suspecting that the +fault was not with them and there wasn't any to see. + +You can see by these things that she was of a rather vain and frivolous +character; still, she had virtues, and enough to make up, I think. She +had a kind heart and gentle ways, and never harbored resentments for +injuries done her, but put them easily out of her mind and forgot them; +and she taught her children her kindly way, and from her we learned also +to be brave and prompt in time of danger, and not to run away, but face +the peril that threatened friend or stranger, and help him the best we +could without stopping to think what the cost might be to us. And she +taught us not by words only, but by example, and that is the best way and +the surest and the most lasting. Why, the brave things she did, the +splendid things! she was just a soldier; and so modest about it--well, +you couldn't help admiring her, and you couldn't help imitating her; not +even a King Charles spaniel could remain entirely despicable in her +society. So, as you see, there was more to her than her education. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +When I was well grown, at last, I was sold and taken away, and I never +saw her again. She was broken-hearted, and so was I, and we cried; but +she comforted me as well as she could, and said we were sent into this +world for a wise and good purpose, and must do our duties without +repining, take our life as we might find it, live it for the best good of +others, and never mind about the results; they were not our affair. She +said men who did like this would have a noble and beautiful reward by and +by in another world, and although we animals would not go there, to do +well and right without reward would give to our brief lives a worthiness +and dignity which in itself would be a reward. She had gathered these +things from time to time when she had gone to the Sunday-school with the +children, and had laid them up in her memory more carefully than she had +done with those other words and phrases; and she had studied them deeply, +for her good and ours. One may see by this that she had a wise and +thoughtful head, for all there was so much lightness and vanity in it. + +So we said our farewells, and looked our last upon each other through our +tears; and the last thing she said--keeping it for the last to make me +remember it the better, I think--was, "In memory of me, when there is a +time of danger to another do not think of yourself, think of your mother, +and do as she would do." + +Do you think I could forget that? No. + + + + +CHAPTER III + +It was such a charming home!--my new one; a fine great house, with +pictures, and delicate decorations, and rich furniture, and no gloom +anywhere, but all the wilderness of dainty colors lit up with flooding +sunshine; and the spacious grounds around it, and the great garden--oh, +greensward, and noble trees, and flowers, no end! And I was the same as +a member of the family; and they loved me, and petted me, and did not +give me a new name, but called me by my old one that was dear to me +because my mother had given it me-- Aileen Mavourneen. She got it out of +a song; and the Grays knew that song, and said it was a beautiful name. + +Mrs. Gray was thirty, and so sweet and so lovely, you cannot imagine it; +and Sadie was ten, and just like her mother, just a darling slender +little copy of her, with auburn tails down her back, and short frocks; +and the baby was a year old, and plump and dimpled, and fond of me, and +never could get enough of hauling on my tail, and hugging me, and +laughing out its innocent happiness; and Mr. Gray was thirty-eight, and +tall and slender and handsome, a little bald in front, alert, quick in +his movements, business-like, prompt, decided, unsentimental, and with +that kind of trim-chiseled face that just seems to glint and sparkle with +frosty intellectuality! He was a renowned scientist. I do not know what +the word means, but my mother would know how to use it and get effects. +She would know how to depress a rat-terrier with it and make a lap-dog +look sorry he came. But that is not the best one; the best one was +Laboratory. My mother could organize a Trust on that one that would skin +the tax-collars off the whole herd. The laboratory was not a book, or a +picture, or a place to wash your hands in, as the college president's dog +said--no, that is the lavatory; the laboratory is quite different, and is +filled with jars, and bottles, and electrics, and wires, and strange +machines; and every week other scientists came there and sat in the +place, and used the machines, and discussed, and made what they called +experiments and discoveries; and often I came, too, and stood around and +listened, and tried to learn, for the sake of my mother, and in loving +memory of her, although it was a pain to me, as realizing what she was +losing out of her life and I gaining nothing at all; for try as I might, +I was never able to make anything out of it at all. + +Other times I lay on the floor in the mistress's work-room and slept, she +gently using me for a foot-stool, knowing it pleased me, for it was a +caress; other times I spent an hour in the nursery, and got well tousled +and made happy; other times I watched by the crib there, when the baby +was asleep and the nurse out for a few minutes on the baby's affairs; +other times I romped and raced through the grounds and the garden with +Sadie till we were tired out, then slumbered on the grass in the shade of +a tree while she read her book; other times I went visiting among the +neighbor dogs-- for there were some most pleasant ones not far away, and +one very handsome and courteous and graceful one, a curly-haired Irish +setter by the name of Robin Adair, who was a Presbyterian like me, and +belonged to the Scotch minister. + +The servants in our house were all kind to me and were fond of me, and +so, as you see, mine was a pleasant life. There could not be a happier +dog that I was, nor a gratefuller one. I will say this for myself, for +it is only the truth: I tried in all ways to do well and right, and +honor my mother's memory and her teachings, and earn the happiness that +had come to me, as best I could. + +By and by came my little puppy, and then my cup was full, my happiness +was perfect. It was the dearest little waddling thing, and so smooth and +soft and velvety, and had such cunning little awkward paws, and such +affectionate eyes, and such a sweet and innocent face; and it made me so +proud to see how the children and their mother adored it, and fondled it, +and exclaimed over every little wonderful thing it did. It did seem to +me that life was just too lovely to-- + +Then came the winter. One day I was standing a watch in the nursery. +That is to say, I was asleep on the bed. The baby was asleep in the +crib, which was alongside the bed, on the side next the fireplace. It +was the kind of crib that has a lofty tent over it made of gauzy stuff +that you can see through. The nurse was out, and we two sleepers were +alone. A spark from the wood-fire was shot out, and it lit on the slope +of the tent. I suppose a quiet interval followed, then a scream from the +baby awoke me, and there was that tent flaming up toward the ceiling! +Before I could think, I sprang to the floor in my fright, and in a second +was half-way to the door; but in the next half-second my mother's +farewell was sounding in my ears, and I was back on the bed again. +I reached my head through the flames and dragged the baby out by the +waist-band, and tugged it along, and we fell to the floor together in a +cloud of smoke; I snatched a new hold, and dragged the screaming little +creature along and out at the door and around the bend of the hall, and +was still tugging away, all excited and happy and proud, when the +master's voice shouted: + +"Begone you cursed beast!" and I jumped to save myself; but he was +furiously quick, and chased me up, striking furiously at me with his +cane, I dodging this way and that, in terror, and at last a strong blow +fell upon my left foreleg, which made me shriek and fall, for the moment, +helpless; the came went up for another blow, but never descended, for the +nurse's voice rang wildly out, "The nursery's on fire!" and the master +rushed away in that direction, and my other bones were saved. + +The pain was cruel, but, no matter, I must not lose any time; he might +come back at any moment; so I limped on three legs to the other end of +the hall, where there was a dark little stairway leading up into a garret +where old boxes and such things were kept, as I had heard say, and where +people seldom went. I managed to climb up there, then I searched my way +through the dark among the piles of things, and hid in the secretest +place I could find. It was foolish to be afraid there, yet still I was; +so afraid that I held in and hardly even whimpered, though it would have +been such a comfort to whimper, because that eases the pain, you know. +But I could lick my leg, and that did some good. + +For half an hour there was a commotion downstairs, and shoutings, and +rushing footsteps, and then there was quiet again. Quiet for some +minutes, and that was grateful to my spirit, for then my fears began to +go down; and fears are worse than pains--oh, much worse. Then came a +sound that froze me. They were calling me--calling me by name--hunting +for me! + +It was muffled by distance, but that could not take the terror out of it, +and it was the most dreadful sound to me that I had ever heard. It went +all about, everywhere, down there: along the halls, through all the +rooms, in both stories, and in the basement and the cellar; then outside, +and farther and farther away--then back, and all about the house again, +and I thought it would never, never stop. But at last it did, hours and +hours after the vague twilight of the garret had long ago been blotted +out by black darkness. + +Then in that blessed stillness my terrors fell little by little away, and +I was at peace and slept. It was a good rest I had, but I woke before +the twilight had come again. I was feeling fairly comfortable, and I +could think out a plan now. I made a very good one; which was, to creep +down, all the way down the back stairs, and hide behind the cellar door, +and slip out and escape when the iceman came at dawn, while he was inside +filling the refrigerator; then I would hide all day, and start on my +journey when night came; my journey to--well, anywhere where they would +not know me and betray me to the master. I was feeling almost cheerful +now; then suddenly I thought: Why, what would life be without my puppy! + +That was despair. There was no plan for me; I saw that; I must say where +I was; stay, and wait, and take what might come--it was not my affair; +that was what life is--my mother had said it. Then--well, then the +calling began again! All my sorrows came back. I said to myself, the +master will never forgive. I did not know what I had done to make him so +bitter and so unforgiving, yet I judged it was something a dog could not +understand, but which was clear to a man and dreadful. + +They called and called--days and nights, it seemed to me. So long that +the hunger and thirst near drove me mad, and I recognized that I was +getting very weak. When you are this way you sleep a great deal, and I +did. Once I woke in an awful fright--it seemed to me that the calling +was right there in the garret! And so it was: it was Sadie's voice, and +she was crying; my name was falling from her lips all broken, poor thing, +and I could not believe my ears for the joy of it when I heard her say: + +"Come back to us--oh, come back to us, and forgive--it is all so sad +without our--" + +I broke in with SUCH a grateful little yelp, and the next moment Sadie +was plunging and stumbling through the darkness and the lumber and +shouting for the family to hear, "She's found, she's found!" + + The days that followed--well, they were wonderful. The mother and Sadie +and the servants--why, they just seemed to worship me. They couldn't +seem to make me a bed that was fine enough; and as for food, they +couldn't be satisfied with anything but game and delicacies that were out +of season; and every day the friends and neighbors flocked in to hear +about my heroism--that was the name they called it by, and it means +agriculture. I remember my mother pulling it on a kennel once, and +explaining it in that way, but didn't say what agriculture was, except +that it was synonymous with intramural incandescence; and a dozen times a +day Mrs. Gray and Sadie would tell the tale to new-comers, and say I +risked my life to say the baby's, and both of us had burns to prove it, +and then the company would pass me around and pet me and exclaim about +me, and you could see the pride in the eyes of Sadie and her mother; and +when the people wanted to know what made me limp, they looked ashamed and +changed the subject, and sometimes when people hunted them this way and +that way with questions about it, it looked to me as if they were going +to cry. + +And this was not all the glory; no, the master's friends came, a whole +twenty of the most distinguished people, and had me in the laboratory, +and discussed me as if I was a kind of discovery; and some of them said +it was wonderful in a dumb beast, the finest exhibition of instinct they +could call to mind; but the master said, with vehemence, "It's far above +instinct; it's REASON, and many a man, privileged to be saved and go with +you and me to a better world by right of its possession, has less of it +that this poor silly quadruped that's foreordained to perish"; and then +he laughed, and said: "Why, look at me--I'm a sarcasm! bless you, with +all my grand intelligence, the only think I inferred was that the dog had +gone mad and was destroying the child, whereas but for the beast's +intelligence--it's REASON, I tell you!--the child would have perished!" + +They disputed and disputed, and I was the very center of subject of it +all, and I wished my mother could know that this grand honor had come to +me; it would have made her proud. + +Then they discussed optics, as they called it, and whether a certain +injury to the brain would produce blindness or not, but they could not +agree about it, and said they must test it by experiment by and by; and +next they discussed plants, and that interested me, because in the summer +Sadie and I had planted seeds--I helped her dig the holes, you know--and +after days and days a little shrub or a flower came up there, and it was +a wonder how that could happen; but it did, and I wished I could talk--I +would have told those people about it and shown then how much I knew, and +been all alive with the subject; but I didn't care for the optics; it was +dull, and when the came back to it again it bored me, and I went to +sleep. + +Pretty soon it was spring, and sunny and pleasant and lovely, and the +sweet mother and the children patted me and the puppy good-by, and went +away on a journey and a visit to their kin, and the master wasn't any +company for us, but we played together and had good times, and the +servants were kind and friendly, so we got along quite happily and +counted the days and waited for the family. + +And one day those men came again, and said, now for the test, and they +took the puppy to the laboratory, and I limped three-leggedly along, too, +feeling proud, for any attention shown to the puppy was a pleasure to me, +of course. They discussed and experimented, and then suddenly the puppy +shrieked, and they set him on the floor, and he went staggering around, +with his head all bloody, and the master clapped his hands and shouted: + +"There, I've won--confess it! He's a blind as a bat!" + +And they all said: + +"It's so--you've proved your theory, and suffering humanity owes you a +great debt from henceforth," and they crowded around him, and wrung his +hand cordially and thankfully, and praised him. + +But I hardly saw or heard these things, for I ran at once to my little +darling, and snuggled close to it where it lay, and licked the blood, and +it put its head against mine, whimpering softly, and I knew in my heart +it was a comfort to it in its pain and trouble to feel its mother's +touch, though it could not see me. Then it dropped down, presently, and +its little velvet nose rested upon the floor, and it was still, and did +not move any more. + +Soon the master stopped discussing a moment, and rang in the footman, and +said, "Bury it in the far corner of the garden," and then went on with +the discussion, and I trotted after the footman, very happy and grateful, +for I knew the puppy was out of its pain now, because it was asleep. We +went far down the garden to the farthest end, where the children and the +nurse and the puppy and I used to play in the summer in the shade of a +great elm, and there the footman dug a hole, and I saw he was going to +plant the puppy, and I was glad, because it would grow and come up a fine +handsome dog, like Robin Adair, and be a beautiful surprise for the +family when they came home; so I tried to help him dig, but my lame leg +was no good, being stiff, you know, and you have to have two, or it is no +use. When the footman had finished and covered little Robin up, he +patted my head, and there were tears in his eyes, and he said: "Poor +little doggie, you saved HIS child!" + +I have watched two whole weeks, and he doesn't come up! This last week a +fright has been stealing upon me. I think there is something terrible +about this. I do not know what it is, but the fear makes me sick, and I +cannot eat, though the servants bring me the best of food; and they pet +me so, and even come in the night, and cry, and say, "Poor doggie--do +give it up and come home; don't break our hearts!" and all this terrifies +me the more, and makes me sure something has happened. And I am so weak; +since yesterday I cannot stand on my feet anymore. And within this hour +the servants, looking toward the sun where it was sinking out of sight +and the night chill coming on, said things I could not understand, but +they carried something cold to my heart. + +"Those poor creatures! They do not suspect. They will come home in the +morning, and eagerly ask for the little doggie that did the brave deed, +and who of us will be strong enough to say the truth to them: 'The +humble little friend is gone where go the beasts that perish.'" + + + + + +End of The Project Gutenberg Etext of A Dog's Tale, by Mark Twain + |