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diff --git a/31754.txt b/31754.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..dc1cb4a --- /dev/null +++ b/31754.txt @@ -0,0 +1,10654 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Devil Stories, by Various + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Devil Stories + An Anthology + +Author: Various + +Editor: Maximilian J. Rudwin + +Release Date: March 24, 2010 [EBook #31754] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DEVIL STORIES *** + + + + +Produced by Irma Spehar and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + +DEVIL STORIES + +AN ANTHOLOGY + +SELECTED AND EDITED WITH INTRODUCTION AND CRITICAL COMMENTS + +BY MAXIMILIAN J. RUDWIN + + _"Mortal, mock not at the Devil, + Life is short and soon will fail, + And the 'fire everlasting' + Is no idle fairy-tale."_ + --HEINE. + +NEW YORK + +ALFRED . A . KNOPF + +MCMXXI + + +COPYRIGHT, 1921, BY ALFRED A. KNOPF, INC. + +PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA + + + + +DEVIL LORE + +ANTHOLOGIES OF DIABOLICAL LITERATURE EDITED BY MAXIMILIAN J. RUDWIN + +I. DEVIL STORIES [First Series] + +_In Preparation:_ + + DEVIL PLAYS + DEVIL ESSAYS + DEVIL LEGENDS + THE BOOK OF LADY LILITH + ANTHOLOGY OF SATANIC VERSE + BIBLIOGRAPHIA DIABOLICA + + + + +_BOOKS BY MAXIMILIAN J. RUDWIN_ + + +The Prophet and Disputation +Scenes in the Religious Drama +of the German Middle Ages. + +The Devil Scenes in the Religious +Drama of the German Middle +Ages. + +The Devil in the German Religious +Plays of the Middle +Ages and the Reformation. +[Hesperia: Johns Hopkins +Studies in Modern Philology, +No. 6.] + +The Origin of the German Carnival +Comedy. + + +_In Preparation:_ + +The Devil in Modern French +Literature. + + + + +TO ALL STUDENTS OF THE SUPERNATURAL IN LITERATURE + + + + +NOTE + + +The preparation of this book would have been out of the question +without the co-operation of authors and publishers. Proper +acknowledgment has been given on the first page of each selection to +the publishers who have granted us permission to reprint it. We take +this opportunity to express once more our deep appreciation of the +courtesies extended to us by all the parties concerned in the material +between the covers of this book. Special thanks are offered to Mr. +John Masefield for his permission to republish his story, and to +Messrs. Arthur Symons and Leo Wiener and to Miss Isabel F. Hapgood for +their permission to use their translations of the foreign stories +which we have selected. To Professor Henry Alfred Todd and Dr. Dorothy +Scarborough, of Columbia University, who have kindly read portions of +the manuscript, the editor is indebted for a number of helpful +suggestions. He adds his thanks to Professor Raymond Weeks, also of +Columbia University, who called his attention to the Daudet story, and +to his former colleague, Professor Otto A. Greiner, of Purdue +University, who was good enough to read part of the proofs. + + THE PUBLISHER. + THE EDITOR. + + + + +CONTENTS + + +THE DEVIL IN A NUNNERY 1 + _A Mediaeval Tale By Francis Oscar Mann_ + +BELPHAGOR, OR THE MARRIAGE OF THE DEVIL (1549) 14 + _From the Italian of Niccolo Machiavelli_ + +THE DEVIL AND TOM WALKER (1824) 28 + _By Washington Irving_ + +FROM THE MEMOIRS OF SATAN (1828) 46 + _From the German of Wilhelm Hauff_ + +ST. JOHN'S EVE (1830) 56 + _From the Russian of Nikolai Vasilevich Gogol_ + _Translated by Isabel F. Hapgood_ + +THE DEVIL'S WAGER (1833) 79 + _By William Makepeace Thackeray_ + +THE PAINTER'S BARGAIN (1834) 93 + _By William Makepeace Thackeray_ + +BON-BON (1835) 112 + _By Edgar Allan Poe_ + +THE PRINTER'S DEVIL (1836) 136 + _Anonymous_ + +THE DEVIL'S MOTHER-IN-LAW (1859) 149 + _From the Spanish by Fernan Caballero_ + _Translated by J. H. Ingram_ + +THE GENEROUS GAMBLER (1864) 162 + _From the French of Charles Pierre Baudelaire_ + _Translated by Arthur Symons_ + +THE THREE LOW MASSES (1869) 167 + _A Christmas Story From the French of Alphonse Daudet_ + _Translated by Robert Routeledge_ + +DEVIL-PUZZLERS (1871) 179 + _By Frederick Beecher Perkins_ + +THE DEVIL'S ROUND (1874) 203 + _A Tale of Flemish Golf From the French of Charles Deulin_ + _Translated by Isabel Bruce_ + _With an introductory note by Andrew Lang_ + +THE LEGEND OF MONT ST.-MICHEL (1888) 222 + _From the French of Guy de Maupassant_ + +THE DEMON POPE (1888) 228 + _By Richard Garnett_ + +MADAM LUCIFER (1888) 242 + _By Richard Garnett_ + +LUCIFER (1895) 250 + _From the French of Anatole France_ + _Translated by Alfred Allinson_ + +THE DEVIL (1899) 257 + _From the Russian of Maxim Gorky_ + _Translated by Leo Wiener_ + +THE DEVIL AND THE OLD MAN (1905) 268 + _By John Masefield_ + +NOTES 279 + +INDEX 325 + + + + +INTRODUCTION + + +Of all the myths which have come down to us from the East, and of all +the creations of Western fancy and belief, the Personality of Evil has +had the strongest attraction for the mind of man. The Devil is the +greatest enigma that has ever confronted the human intelligence. So +large a place has Satan taken in our imagination, and we might also +say in our heart, that his expulsion therefrom, no matter what +philosophy may teach us, must for ever remain an impossibility. As a +character in imaginative literature Lucifer has not his equal in +heaven above or on the earth beneath. In contrast to the idea of Good, +which is the more exalted in proportion to its freedom from +anthropomorphism, the idea of Evil owes to the presence of this +element its chief value as a poetic theme. The discrowned archangel +may have been inferior to St. Michael in military tactics, but he +certainly is his superior in matters literary. The fair angels--all +frankness and goodness--are beyond our comprehension, but the fallen +angels, with all their faults and sufferings, are kin to us. + +There is a legend that the Devil has always had literary aspirations. +The German theosophist Jacob Boehme relates that when Satan was asked +to explain the cause of God's enmity to him and his consequent +downfall, he replied: "I wanted to be an author." Whether or not the +Devil has ever written anything over his own signature, he has +certainly helped others compose their greatest works. It is a +significant fact that the greatest imaginations have discerned an +attraction in Diabolus. What would the world's literature be if from +it we eliminated Dante's _Divine Comedy_, Calderon's _Marvellous +Magician_, Milton's _Paradise Lost_, Goethe's _Faust_, Byron's _Cain_, +Vigny's _Eloa_, and Lermontov's _Demon_? Sorry indeed would have been +the plight of literature without a judicious admixture of the +Diabolical. Without the Devil there would simply be no literature, +because without his intervention there would be no plot, and without a +plot the story of the world would lose its interest. Even now, when +the belief in the Devil has gone out of fashion, and when the very +mention of his name, far from causing men to cross themselves, brings +a smile to their faces, Satan has continued to be a puissant personage +in the realm of letters. As a matter of fact, Beelzebub has perhaps +received his greatest elaboration at the hands of writers who believed +in him just as little as Shakespeare did in the ghost of Hamlet's +father. + +Commenting on Anatole France's _The Revolt of the Angels_, an American +critic has recently written: "It is difficult to rehabilitate +Beelzebub, not because people are of one mind concerning Beelzebub, +but because they are of no mind at all." How this demon must have +laughed when he read these lines! Why, he needs no rehabilitation. The +Devil has never been absent from the world of letters, just as he has +never been missing from the world of men. Since the days of Job, Satan +has taken a deep interest in the affairs of the human race; and while +most writers content themselves with recording his activities on this +planet, there never have been lacking men of sufficient courage to +call upon the prince of darkness in his proper dominions in order to +bring back to us, for our instruction and edification, a report of his +work there. The most distinguished poet his infernal Highness has ever +entertained at his court, it will be recalled, was Dante. The mark +which the scorching fires of hell left on Dante's face, was to his +contemporaries sufficient proof of the truth of his story. + +The subject-matter of literature may always have been in a state of +flux, but the Devil has been present in all the stages of literary +evolution. All schools of literature in all ages and in all languages +set themselves, whether consciously or unconsciously, to represent and +interpret the Devil, and each school has treated him in its own +characteristic manner. + +The Devil is an old character in literature. Perhaps he is as old as +literature itself. He is encountered in the story of the paradisiacal +sojourn of our first ancestors, and from that day on, Satan has +appeared unfailingly, in various forms and with various functions, in +all the literatures of the world. His person and his power continued +to develop and to multiply with the advance of the centuries, so that +in the Middle Ages the world fairly pullulated with demons. From his +minor place in the biblical books, the Devil grew to a position of +paramount importance in mediaeval literature. The Reformation, which +was a movement of progress in so many respects, left his position +intact. Indeed, it rather increased his power by withdrawing from the +saints the right of intercession in behalf of the sinners. Neither the +Renaissance of ancient learning nor the institution of modern science +could prevail against Satan. As a matter of fact, the growth of the +interest in the Devil has been on a level with the development of the +spirit of philosophical inquiry. French classicism, to be sure, +occasioned a setback for our hero. As a member of the Christian +hierarchy of supernatural personages, the Devil could not help but be +affected by the ban under which Boileau placed Christian +supernaturalism. But even the eighteenth century, a period so inimical +to the Supernatural, produced two master-devils in fiction: Le Sage's +Asmodeus and Cazotte's Beelzebub--worthy members of the august company +of literary Devils. + +But as if to make amends for its long lack of appreciation of the +Devil's literary possibilities, France, in the beginning of the +nineteenth century, brought about a distinct reaction in his favour. +The sympathy extended by that country of revolutionary progress to all +victims and to all rebels, whether individuals or classes or nations, +could not well be denied to the celestial outlaw. The fighters for +political, social, intellectual, and emotional liberty on earth, could +not withhold their admiration from the angel who demanded freedom of +thought and independence of action in heaven. The rebel of the +Empyrean was hailed as the first martyr in the cause of liberty, and +his rehabilitation in heaven was demanded by the rebels on earth. +Satan became the symbol of the restless, hapless nineteenth century. +Through his mouth that age uttered its protest against the monarchs +of heaven and earth. The Romantic generation of 1830 thought the world +more than ever out of joint, and who was better fitted than the Devil +to express their dissatisfaction with the celestial government of +terrestrial affairs? Satan is the eternal Malcontent. To Hamlet, +Denmark seemed gloomy; to Satan, the whole world appears dark. The +admiration of the Romanticists for Satan was mixed with pity and +sympathy--so much his melancholy endeared him to their sympathies, so +kindred it seemed to their human weakness. The Romanticists felt a +deep admiration for solitary grandeur. This "knight of the doleful +countenance," laden with a curse and drawing misfortune in his train, +was the ideal Romantic hero. Was he not indeed the original _beau +tenebreux_? Thus Satan became the typical figure of that period and +its poetry. It has been well remarked that if Satan had not existed, +the Romanticists would have invented him. The Devil's influence on the +Romantic School was so strong and so sustained that soon it was named +after him. The terms Romantic and Satanic came to be wellnigh +synonymous. The interest which the French Romanticists showed in the +Devil, moreover, passed beyond the boundaries of France and the limits +of the nineteenth century. The Symbolists, for whom the mysteries of +Erebus had a potent attraction, were simply obsessed by Satan. But +even the Naturalists, who certainly were not haunted by phantoms, +often succumbed to his charms. Foreign writers turning for inspiration +to France, where the literature of the last century reached its +highest perfection, were also caught in the French enthusiasm for the +Devil. + +Needless to say that this Devil is not the evil spirit of mediaeval +dogma. The Romantic Devil is an altogether new species of the _genus +diaboli_. There are fashions in Devils as in dresses, and what is a +Devil in one country or one century may not pass muster in another. It +is related that after the glory of Greece had departed, a mariner, +voyaging along her coast by night, heard from the woods the cry: +"Great Pan is dead!" But Pan was not dead; he had fallen asleep to +awake again as Satan. In like manner, when the eighteenth century +believed Satan to be dead, he was, as a matter of fact, only +recuperating his energies for a fresh start in a new form. His new +avatar was Prometheus. Satan continued to be the enemy of God, but he +was no longer the enemy of man. Instead of a demon of darkness he +became a god of grace. This champion of celestial combat was not +actuated by hatred and envy of man, as Christianity was thought to +teach us, but by love and pity for humankind. The strongest expression +of this idea of the Devil in modern literature has been given by +August Strindberg, whose Lucifer is a compound of Prometheus, Apollo +and Christ. However, this interpretation of the Devil, whatever value +it may have from the point of view of originality, is aesthetically as +well as theologically not acceptable. Such a revaluation of an old +value offends our intellect while it touches our heart. All successful +treatment of the Devil in literature and art must be made to +correspond with the norm of popular belief. In art we are all +orthodox, whatever our views may be in religion. This new conception +of Satan will be found chiefly in poetry, while the popular concept +has been continued in prose. But even here a gradual evolution of the +idea of the Devil will be observed. The nineteenth century Demon is an +improvement on his _confrere_ of the thirteenth. He differs from his +older brother as a cultivated flower from a wild blossom. The Devil as +a human projection is bound to partake in the progress of human +thought. Says Mephistopheles: + + "Culture, which the whole world licks, + Also unto the Devil sticks." + +The Devil advances with the progress of civilization, because he is +what men make him. He has benefited by the modern levelling tendency +in characterization. Nowadays supernatural personages, like their +human creators, are no longer painted either as wholly white or as +wholly black, but in various shades of grey. The Devil, as Renan has +aptly remarked, has chiefly benefited by this relativist point of +view. The Spirit of Evil is better than he was, because evil is no +longer so bad as it was. Satan, even in the popular mind, is no longer +a villain of the deepest dye. At his worst he is the general +mischief-maker of the universe, who loves to stir up the earth with +his pitch-fork. In modern literature the Devil's chief function is +that of a satirist. This fine critic directs the shafts of his sarcasm +against all the faults and foibles of men. He spares no human +institution. In religion, art, society, marriage--everywhere his +searching eye can detect the weak spots. The latest demonstration of +the Devil's ability as a satirist of men and morals is furnished by +Mark Twain in his posthumous romance _The Mysterious Stranger_. + +The Devil Lore Series, which opens with this book of Devil Stories, is +to serve as documentary evidence of man's abiding interest in the +Devil. It will be a sort of portrait-gallery of the literary +delineations of Satan. The Anthologies of Diabolical Literature may be +considered, I trust, without any risk of offence to any theological or +philosophical prepossession. To those alike who accept and who reject +the belief in the Devil's spiritual entity apart from man's, there +must be profit and pleasure in the contemplation of his literary +incarnations. As regards the Devil's fitness as a literary character, +all intelligent men and women, believers and unbelievers, may be +assumed to have but one opinion. + +This Series is wholly devoted to the Christian Devil with the total +disregard of his cousins in the other faiths. There will, however, be +found a strong Jewish element in Christian demonology. It must be +borne in mind that our literature has become saturated through +Christian channels with the traditions of the parent creed. + +This collection has been limited to twenty tales. Within the bounds +thus set, an effort has been made to have this book as representative +of national and individual conceptions of the Devil as possible. The +tales have been taken from many times and tongues. Selection has been +made not only among writers, but also among the stories of each +writer. In two instances, however, where the choice was not so easy, +an author is represented by two specimens from his pen. + +The stories have been arranged in chronological order to show the +constant and continuous appeal on the part of the Devil to our +story-writers. The mediaeval tale, although published last, was +placed first. For obvious reasons, this story has not been given in +its original form, but in its modernized version. While this is not +meant to be a nursery-book, it has been made _virginibus puerisque_, +and for this reason, selections from Boccaccio, Rabelais and Balzac +could not find their way into these pages. Moreover, as this volume +was limited to narratives in prose, devil's tales in verse by Chaucer, +Hans Sachs and La Fontaine could not be considered, either. +Nevertheless this collection is sufficiently comprehensive to please +all tastes in Devils. The reader will find between the covers of this +book Devils fascinating and fearful, Devils powerful and picturesque, +Devils serious and humorous, Devils pathetic and comic, Devils +phantastic and satiric, Devils gruesome and grotesque. I have tried, +though, to keep them all in good humour throughout the book, and can +accordingly assure the reader that he need fear no harm from an +intimate acquaintance with the diabolical company to which he is +herewith introduced. + + MAXIMILIAN J. RUDWIN. + + + + +THE DEVIL IN A NUNNERY[1] + +BY FRANCIS OSCAR MANN + + + [1] Taken by permission from _The Devil in a Nunnery and + other Mediaeval Tales_, by Francis Oscar Mann, published by + P. Dutton & Company, New York, 1914. + +Buckingham is as pleasant a shire as a man shall see on a seven days' +journey. Neither was it any less pleasant in the days of our Lord King +Edward, the third of that name, he who fought and put the French to +shameful discomfiture at Crecy and Poitiers and at many another +hard-fought field. May God rest his soul, for he now sleeps in the +great Church at Westminster. + +Buckinghamshire is full of smooth round hills and woodlands of +hawthorn and beech, and it is a famous country for its brooks and +shaded waterways running through the low hay meadows. Upon its hills +feed a thousand sheep, scattered like the remnants of the spring snow, +and it was from these that the merchants made themselves fat purses, +sending the wool into Flanders in exchange for silver crowns. There +were many strong castles there too, and rich abbeys, and the King's +Highway ran through it from North to South, upon which the pilgrims +went in crowds to worship at the Shrine of the Blessed Saint Alban. +Thereon also rode noble knights and stout men-at-arms, and these you +could follow with the eye by their glistening armour, as they wound +over hill and dale, mile after mile, with shining spears and shields +and fluttering pennons, and anon a trumpet or two sounding the same +keen note as that which rang out dreadfully on those bloody fields of +France. The girls used to come to the cottage doors or run to hide +themselves in the wayside woods to see them go trampling by; for +Buckinghamshire girls love a soldier above all men. Nor, I warrant +you, were jolly friars lacking in the highways and the by-ways and +under the hedges, good men of religion, comfortable of penance and +easy of life, who could tip a wink to a housewife, and drink and crack +a joke with the good man, going on their several ways with tight +paunches, skins full of ale and a merry salutation for every one. A +fat pleasant land was this Buckinghamshire; always plenty to eat and +drink therein, and pretty girls and lusty fellows; and God knows what +more a man can expect in a world where all is vanity, as the Preacher +truly says. + +There was a nunnery at Maids Moreton, two miles out from Buckingham +Borough, on the road to Stony Stratford, and the place was called +Maids Moreton because of the nunnery. Very devout creatures were the +nuns, being holy ladies out of families of gentle blood. They +punctually fulfilled to the letter all the commands of the pious +founder, just as they were blazoned on the great parchment Regula, +which the Lady Mother kept on her reading-desk in her little cell. If +ever any of the nuns, by any chance or subtle machination of the Evil +One, was guilty of the smallest backsliding from the conduct that +beseemed them, they made full and devout confession thereof to the +Holy Father who visited them for this purpose. This good man loved +swan's meat and galingale, and the charitable nuns never failed to +provide of their best for him on his visiting days; and whatsoever +penance he laid upon them they performed to the utmost, and with due +contrition of heart. + +From Matins to Compline they regularly and decently carried out the +services of Holy Mother Church. After dinner, one read aloud to them +from the Rule, and again after supper there was reading from the life +of some notable Saint or Virgin, that thereby they might find ensample +for themselves on their own earthly pilgrimage. For the rest, they +tended their herb garden, reared their chickens, which were famous for +miles around, and kept strict watch over their haywards and +swineherds. If time was when they had nothing more important on hand, +they set to and made the prettiest blood bandages imaginable for the +Bishop, the Bishop's Chaplain, the Archdeacon, the neighbouring Abbot +and other godly men of religion round about, who were forced often to +bleed themselves for their health's sake and their eternal salvation, +so that these venerable men in process of time came to have by them +great chests full of these useful articles. If little tongues wagged +now and then as the sisters sat at their sewing in the great hall, who +shall blame them, _Eva peccatrice_? Not I; besides, some of them were +something stricken in years, and old women are garrulous and hard to +be constrained from chattering and gossiping. But being devout women +they could have spoken no evil. + +One evening after Vespers all these good nuns sat at supper, the +Abbess on her high dais and the nuns ranged up and down the hall at +the long trestled tables. The Abbess had just said "_Gratias_" and +the sisters had sung "_Qui vivit et regnat per omnia saecula +saeculorum, Amen_," when in came the Manciple mysteriously, and, with +many deprecating bows and outstretchings of the hands, sidled himself +up upon the dais, and, permission having been given him, spoke to the +Lady Mother thus: + +"Madam, there is a certain pilgrim at the gate who asks refreshment +and a night's lodging." It is true he spoke softly, but little pink +ears are sharp of hearing, and nuns, from their secluded way of life, +love to hear news of the great world. + +"Send him away," said the Abbess. "It is not fit that a man should lie +within this house." + +"Madam, he asks food and a bed of straw lest he should starve of +hunger and exhaustion on his way to do penance and worship at the Holy +Shrine of the Blessed Saint Alban." + +"What kind of pilgrim is he?" + +"Madam, to speak truly, I know not; but he appears of a reverend and +gracious aspect, a young man well spoken and well disposed. Madam +knows it waxeth late, and the ways are dark and foul." + +"I would not have a young man, who is given to pilgrimages and good +works, to faint and starve by the wayside. Let him sleep with the +haywards." + +"But, Madam, he is a young man of goodly appearance and conversation; +saving your reverence, I would not wish to ask him to eat and sleep +with churls." + +"He must sleep without. Let him, however, enter and eat of our poor +table." + +"Madam, I will strictly enjoin him what you command. He hath with him, +however, an instrument of music and would fain cheer you with +spiritual songs." + +A little shiver of anticipation ran down the benches of the great +hall, and the nuns fell to whispering. + +"Take care, Sir Manciple, that he be not some light juggler, a singer +of vain songs, a mocker. I would not have these quiet halls disturbed +by wanton music and unholy words. God forbid." And she crossed +herself. + +"Madam, I will answer for it." + +The Manciple bowed himself from the dais and went down the middle of +the hall, his keys rattling at his belt. A little buzz of conversation +rose from the sisters and went up to the oak roof-trees, like the +singing of bees. The Abbess told her beads. + +The hall door opened and in came the pilgrim. God knows what manner of +man he was; I cannot tell you. He certainly was lean and lithe like a +cat, his eyes danced in his head like the very devil, but his cheeks +and jaws were as bare of flesh as any hermit's that lives on roots and +ditchwater. His yellow-hosed legs went like the tune of a May game, +and he screwed and twisted his scarlet-jerkined body in time with +them. In his left hand he held a cithern, on which he twanged with his +right, making a cunning noise that titillated the back-bones of those +who heard it, and teased every delicate nerve in the body. Such a tune +would have tickled the ribs of Death himself. A queer fellow to go +pilgrimaging certainly, but why, when they saw him, all the young nuns +tittered and the old nuns grinned, until they showed their red gums, +it is hard to tell. Even the Lady Mother on the dais smiled, though +she tried to frown a moment later. + +The pilgrim stepped lightly up to the dais, the infernal devil in his +legs making the nuns think of the games the village folk play all +night in the churchyard on Saint John's Eve. + +"Gracious Mother," he cried, bowing deeply and in comely wise, "allow +a poor pilgrim on his way to confess and do penance at the shrine of +Saint Alban to take food in your hall, and to rest with the haywards +this night, and let me thereof make some small recompense with a few +sacred numbers, such as your pious founder would not have disdained to +hear." + +"Young man," returned the Abbess, "right glad am I to hear that God +has moved thy heart to godly works and to go on pilgrimages, and +verily I wish it may be to thy soul's health and to the respite of thy +pains hereafter. I am right willing that thou shouldst refresh thyself +with meat and rest at this holy place." + +"Madam, I thank thee from my heart, but as some slight token of +gratitude for so large a favour, let me, I pray thee, sing one or two +of my divine songs, to the uplifting of these holy Sisters' hearts." + +Another burst of chatter, louder than before, from the benches in the +hall. One or two of the younger Sisters clapped their plump white +hands and cried, "Oh!" The Lady Abbess held up her hand for silence. + +"Verily, I should be glad to hear some sweet songs of religion, and I +think it would be to the uplifting of these Sisters' hearts. But, +young man, take warning against singing any wanton lines of vain +imagination, such as the ribalds use on the highways, and the idlers +and haunters of taverns. I have heard them in my youth, although my +ears tingle to think of them now, and I should think it shame that any +such light words should echo among these sacred rafters or disturb the +slumber of our pious founder, who now sleeps in Christ. Let me remind +you of what saith Saint Jeremie, _Onager solitarius, in desiderio +animae suae, attraxit ventum amoris_; the wild ass of the wilderness, +in the desire of his heart, snuffeth up the wind of love; whereby that +holy man signifies that vain earthly love, which is but wind and air, +and shall avail nothing at all, when this weak, impure flesh is +sloughed away." + +"Madam, such songs as I shall sing, I learnt at the mouth of our holy +parish priest, Sir Thomas, a man of all good learning and purity of +heart." + +"In that case," said the Abbess, "sing in God's name, but stand at the +end of the hall, for it suits not the dignity of my office a man +should stand so near this dais." + +Whereon the pilgrim, making obeisance, went to the end of the hall, +and the eyes of all the nuns danced after his dancing legs, and their +ears hung on the clear, sweet notes he struck out of his cithern as he +walked. He took his place with his back against the great hall door, +in such attitude as men use when they play the cithern. A little +trembling ran through the nuns, and some rose from their seats and +knelt on the benches, leaning over the table, the better to see and +hear him. Their eyes sparkled like dew on meadowsweet on a fair +morning. + +Certainly his fingers were bewitched or else the devil was in his +cithern, for such sweet sounds had never been heard in the hall since +the day when it was built and consecrated to the service of the +servants of God. The shrill notes fell like a tinkling rain from the +high roof in mad, fantastic trills and dying falls that brought all +one's soul to one's lips to suck them in. What he sang about, God only +knows; not one of the nuns or even the holy Abbess herself could have +told you, although you had offered her a piece of the True Cross or a +hair of the Blessed Virgin for a single word. But a divine yearning +filled all their hearts; they seemed to hear ten thousand thousand +angels singing in choruses, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia; they floated +up on impalpable clouds of azure and silver, up through the blissful +paradises of the uppermost heaven; their nostrils were filled with the +odours of exquisite spices and herbs and smoke of incense; their eyes +dazzled at splendours and lights and glories; their ears were full of +gorgeous harmonies and all created concords of sweet sounds; the very +fibres of being were loosened within them, as though their souls would +leap forth from their bodies in exquisite dissolution. The eyes of the +younger nuns grew round and large and tender, and their breath almost +died upon their velvet lips. As for the old nuns, the great, salt +tears coursed down their withered cheeks and fell like rain on their +gnarled hands. The Abbess sat on her dais with her lips apart, looking +into space, ten thousand thousand miles away. But no one saw her and +she saw no one; every one had forgotten every one else in that +delicious intoxication. + +Then with a shrill cry, full of human yearnings and desire, the +minstrel came to a sudden stop-- + + "Western wind, when wilt thou blow, + And the small rain will down rain? + Christ, if my love were in my arms, + And I in my bed again." + +Silence!--not one of the holy Sisters spoke, but some sighed; some put +their hands over their hearts, and one put her hand in her hood, but +when she felt her hair shorn close to her scalp, drew it out again +sharply, as though she had touched red-hot iron, and cried, "O Jesu." + +Sister Peronelle, a toothless old woman, began to speak in a cracked, +high voice, quickly and monotonously, as though she spoke in a dream. +Her eyes were wet and red, and her thin lips trembled. "God knows," +she said, "I loved him; God knows it. But I bid all those who be maids +here, to be mindful of the woods. For they are green, but they are +deep and dark, and it is merry in the springtime with the thick turf +below and the good boughs above, all alone with your heart's +darling--all alone in the green wood. But God help me, he would not +stay any more than snow at Easter. I thought just now that I was back +with him in the woods. God keep all those that be maids from the green +woods." + +The pretty Sister Ursula, who had only just finished her novitiate, +was as white as a sheet. Her breath came thickly and quick as though +she bore a great burden up hill. A great sigh made her comely +shoulders rise and fall. "Blessed Virgin," she cried. "Ah, ye ask too +much; I did not know; God help me, I did not know," and her grey eyes +filled with sudden tears, and she dropped her head on her arms on the +table, and sobbed aloud. + +Then cried out Sister Katherine, who looked as old and dead as a twig +dropped from a tree of last autumn, and at whom the younger Sisters +privily mocked, "It is the wars, the wars, the cursed wars. I have +held his head in this lap, I tell you; I have kissed his soul into +mine. But now he lies dead, and his pretty limbs all dropped away into +earth. Holy Mother, have pity on me. I shall never kiss his sweet lips +again or look into his jolly eyes. My heart is broken long since. Holy +Mother! Holy Mother!" + +"He must come oftener," said a plump Sister of thirty, with a little +nose turned up at the end, eyes black as sloes and lips round as a +plum. "I go to the orchard day after day, and gather my lap full of +apples. He is my darling. Why does he not come? I look for him every +time that I gather the ripe apples. He used to come; but that was in +the spring, and Our Lady knows that is long ago. Will it not be spring +again soon? I have gathered many ripe apples." + +Sister Margarita rocked herself to and fro in her seat and crossed her +arms on her breast. She was singing quietly to herself. + + "Lulla, lullay, thou tiny little child, + Lulla, lullay, lullay; + Suck at my breast that am thereat beguiled, + Lulla, lullay, lullay." + +She moaned to herself, "I have seen the village women go to the well, +carrying their babies with them, and they laugh as they go by on the +way. Their babies hold them tight round the neck, and their mothers +comfort them, saying, 'Hey, hey, my little son; hey, hey, my +sweeting.' Christ and the blessed Saints know that I have never felt a +baby's little hand in my bosom--and now I shall die without it, for I +am old and past the age of bearing children." + + "Lulla, lullay, thou tiny little boy, + Lulla, lullay, lullay; + To feel thee suck doth soothe my great annoy, + Lulla, lullay, lullay." + +"I have heard them on a May morning, with their pipes and tabors and +jolly, jolly music," cried Sister Helen; "I have seen them too, and my +heart has gone with them to bring back the white hawthorn from the +woods. 'A man and a maid to a hawthorn bough,' as it says in the song. +They sing outside my window all Saint John's Eve so that I cannot say +my prayers for the wild thoughts they put into my brain, as they go +dancing up and down in the churchyard; I cannot forget the pretty +words they say to each other, 'Sweet love, a kiss'; 'kiss me, my love, +nor let me go'; 'As I went through the garden gate'; 'A bonny black +knight, a bonny black knight, and what will you give to me? A kiss, +and a kiss, and no more than a kiss, under the wild rose tree.' Oh, +Mary Mother, have pity on a poor girl's heart, I shall die, if no one +love me, I shall die." + +"In faith, I am truly sorry, William," said Sister Agnes, who was +gaunt and hollow-eyed with long vigils and overfasting, for which the +good father had rebuked her time after time, saying that she +overtasked the poor weak flesh. "I am truly sorry that I could not +wait. But the neighbours made such a clamour, and my father and mother +buffeted me too sorely. It is under the oak tree, no more than a foot +deep, and covered with the red and brown leaves. It was a pretty sight +to see the red blood on its neck, as white as whalebone, and it +neither cried nor wept, so I put it down among the leaves, the pretty +poppet; and it was like thee, William, it was like thee. I am sorry I +did not wait, and now I'm worn and wan for thy sake, this many a long +year, and all in vain, for thou never comst. I am an old woman now, +and I shall soon be quiet and not complain any more." + +Some of the Sisters were sobbing as if their hearts would break; some +sat quiet and still, and let the tears fall from their eyes unchecked; +some smiled and cried together; some sighed a little and trembled like +aspen leaves in a southern wind. The great candles in the hall were +burning down to their sockets. One by one they spluttered out. A +ghostly, flickering light fell upon the legend over the broad dais, +"_Connubium mundum sed virginitas paradisum complet_"--"Marriage +replenisheth the World, but virginity Paradise." + +"Dong, dong, dong." Suddenly the great bell of the Nunnery began to +toll. With a cry the Abbess sprang to her feet; there were tear stains +on her white cheeks, and her hand shook as she pointed fiercely to the +door. + +"Away, false pilgrim," she cried. "Silence, foul blasphemer! _Retro +me, Satanas._" She crossed herself again and again, saying _Pater +Noster_. + +The nuns screamed and trembled with terror. A little cloud of blue +smoke arose from where the minstrel had stood. There was a little +tongue of flame, and he had disappeared. It was almost dark in the +hall. A few sobs broke the silence. The dying light of a single candle +fell on the form of the Lady Mother. + +"Tomorrow," she said, "we shall fast and sing _Placebo_ and _Dirige_ +and the _Seven Penitential Psalms_. May the Holy God have mercy upon +us for all we have done and said and thought amiss this night. Amen." + + + + +BELPHAGOR + +BY NICCOLO MACHIAVELLI + + +We read in the ancient archives of Florence the following account, as +it was received from the lips of a very holy man, greatly respected by +every one for the sanctity of his manners at the period in which he +lived. Happening once to be deeply absorbed in his prayers, such was +their efficacy, that he saw an infinite number of condemned souls, +belonging to those miserable mortals who had died in their sins, +undergoing the punishment due to their offences in the regions below. +He remarked that the greater part of them lamented nothing so bitterly +as their folly in having taken wives, attributing to them the whole of +their misfortunes. Much surprised at this, Minos and Rhadamanthus, +with the rest of the infernal judges, unwilling to credit all the +abuse heaped upon the female sex, and wearied from day to day with its +repetition, agreed to bring the matter before Pluto. It was then +resolved that the conclave of infernal princes should form a committee +of inquiry, and should adopt such measures as might be deemed most +advisable by the court in order to discover the truth or falsehood of +the calumnies which they heard. All being assembled in council, Pluto +addressed them as follows: "Dearly beloved demons! though by celestial +dispensation and the irreversible decree of fate this kingdom fell to +my share, and I might strictly dispense with any kind of celestial or +earthly responsibility, yet, as it is more prudent and respectful to +consult the laws and to hear the opinion of others, I have resolved to +be guided by your advice, particularly in a case that may chance to +cast some imputation upon our government. For the souls of all men +daily arriving in our kingdom still continue to lay the whole blame +upon their wives, and as this appears to us impossible, we must be +careful how we decide in such a business, lest we also should come in +for a share of their abuse, on account of our too great severity; and +yet judgment must be pronounced, lest we be taxed with negligence and +with indifference to the interests of justice. Now, as the latter is +the fault of a careless, and the former of an unjust judge, we, +wishing to avoid the trouble and the blame that might attach to both, +yet hardly seeing how to get clear of it, naturally enough apply to +you for assistance, in order that you may look to it, and contrive in +some way that, as we have hitherto reigned without the slightest +imputation upon our character, we may continue to do so for the +future." + +The affair appearing to be of the utmost importance to all the princes +present, they first resolved that it was necessary to ascertain the +truth, though they differed as to the best means of accomplishing this +object. Some were of opinion that they ought to choose one or more +from among themselves, who should be commissioned to pay a visit to +the world, and in a human shape endeavour personally to ascertain how +far such reports were grounded in truth. To many others it appeared +that this might be done without so much trouble merely by compelling +some of the wretched souls to confess the truth by the application of +a variety of tortures. But the majority being in favour of a journey +to the world, they abided by the former proposal. No one, however, +being ambitious of undertaking such a task, it was resolved to leave +the affair to chance. The lot fell upon the arch-devil Belphagor, who, +previous to the Fall, had enjoyed the rank of archangel in a higher +world. Though he received his commission with a very ill grace, he +nevertheless felt himself constrained by Pluto's imperial mandate, and +prepared to execute whatever had been determined upon in council. At +the same time he took an oath to observe the tenor of his +instructions, as they had been drawn up with all due solemnity and +ceremony for the purpose of his mission. These were to the following +effect:--_Imprimis_, that the better to promote the object in view, he +should be furnished with a hundred thousand gold ducats; secondly, +that he should make use of the utmost expedition in getting into the +world; thirdly, that after assuming the human form he should enter +into the marriage state; and lastly, that he should live with his wife +for the space of ten years. At the expiration of this period, he was +to feign death and return home, in order to acquaint his employers, by +the fruits of experience, what really were the respective conveniences +and inconveniences of matrimony. The conditions further ran, that +during the said ten years he should be subject to all kinds of +miseries and disasters, like the rest of mankind, such as poverty, +prisons, and diseases into which men are apt to fall, unless, indeed, +he could contrive by his own skill and ingenuity to avoid them. Poor +Belphagor having signed these conditions and received the money, +forthwith came into the world, and having set up his equipage, with a +numerous train of servants, he made a very splendid entrance into +Florence. He selected this city in preference to all others, as being +most favourable for obtaining an usurious interest of his money; and +having assumed the name of Roderigo, a native of Castile, he took a +house in the suburbs of Ognissanti. And because he was unable to +explain the instructions under which he acted, he gave out that he was +a merchant, who having had poor prospects in Spain, had gone to Syria, +and succeeded in acquiring his fortune at Aleppo, whence he had lastly +set out for Italy, with the intention of marrying and settling there, +as one of the most polished and agreeable countries he knew. + +Roderigo was certainly a very handsome man, apparently about thirty +years of age, and he lived in a style of life that showed he was in +pretty easy circumstances, if not possessed of immense wealth. Being, +moreover, extremely affable and liberal, he soon attracted the notice +of many noble citizens blessed with large families of daughters and +small incomes. The former of these were soon offered to him, from +among whom Roderigo chose a very beautiful girl of the name of Onesta, +a daughter of Amerigo Donati, who had also three sons, all grown up, +and three more daughters, also nearly marriageable. Though of a noble +family and enjoying a good reputation in Florence, his father-in-law +was extremely poor, and maintained as poor an establishment. +Roderigo, therefore, made very splendid nuptials, and omitted nothing +that might tend to confer honour upon such a festival, being liable, +under the law which he received on leaving his infernal abode, to feel +all kinds of vain and earthly passions. He therefore soon began to +enter into all the pomps and vanities of the world, and to aim at +reputation and consideration among mankind, which put him to no little +expense. But more than this, he had not long enjoyed the society of +his beloved Onesta, before he became tenderly attached to her, and was +unable to behold her suffer the slightest inquietude or vexation. Now, +along with her other gifts of beauty and nobility, the lady had +brought into the house of Roderigo such an insufferable portion of +pride, that in this respect Lucifer himself could not equal her; for +her husband, who had experienced the effects of both, was at no loss +to decide which was the most intolerable of the two. Yet it became +infinitely worse when she discovered the extent of Roderigo's +attachment to her, of which she availed herself to obtain an +ascendancy over him and rule him with a rod of iron. Not content with +this, when she found he would bear it, she continued to annoy him with +all kinds of insults and taunts, in such a way as to give him the most +indescribable pain and uneasiness. For what with the influence of her +father, her brothers, her friends, and relatives, the duty of the +matrimonial yoke, and the love he bore her, he suffered all for some +time with the patience of a saint. It would be useless to recount the +follies and extravagancies into which he ran in order to gratify her +taste for dress, and every article of the newest fashion, in which +our city, ever so variable in its nature, according to its usual +habits, so much abounds. Yet, to live upon easy terms with her, he was +obliged to do more than this; he had to assist his father-in-law in +portioning off his other daughters; and she next asked him to furnish +one of her brothers with goods to sail for the Levant, another with +silks for the West, while a third was to be set up in a goldbeater's +establishment at Florence. In such objects the greatest part of his +fortune was soon consumed. At length the Carnival season was at hand; +the festival of St. John was to be celebrated, and the whole city, as +usual, was in a ferment. Numbers of the noblest families were about to +vie with each other in the splendour of their parties, and the Lady +Onesta, being resolved not to be outshone by her acquaintance, +insisted that Roderigo should exceed them all in the richness of their +feasts. For the reasons above stated, he submitted to her will; nor, +indeed, would he have scrupled at doing much more, however difficult +it might have been, could he have flattered himself with a hope of +preserving the peace and comfort of his household, and of awaiting +quietly the consummation of his ruin. But this was not the case, +inasmuch as the arrogant temper of his wife had grown to such a height +of asperity by long indulgence, that he was at a loss in what way to +act. His domestics, male and female, would no longer remain in the +house, being unable to support for any length of time the intolerable +life they led. The inconvenience which he suffered in consequence of +having no one to whom he could intrust his affairs it is impossible to +express. Even his own familiar devils, whom he had brought along with +him, had already deserted him, choosing to return below rather than +longer submit to the tyranny of his wife. Left, then, to himself, +amidst this turbulent and unhappy life, and having dissipated all the +ready money he possessed, he was compelled to live upon the hopes of +the returns expected from his ventures in the East and the West. Being +still in good credit, in order to support his rank he resorted to +bills of exchange; nor was it long before, accounts running against +him, he found himself in the same situation as many other unhappy +speculators in that market. Just as his case became extremely +delicate, there arrived sudden tidings both from East and West that +one of his wife's brothers had dissipated the whole of Roderigo's +profits in play, and that while the other was returning with a rich +cargo uninsured, his ship had the misfortune to be wrecked, and he +himself was lost. No sooner did this affair transpire than his +creditors assembled, and supposing it must be all over with him, +though their bills had not yet become due, they resolved to keep a +strict watch over him in fear that he might abscond. Roderigo, on his +part, thinking that there was no other remedy, and feeling how deeply +he was bound by the Stygian law, determined at all hazards to make his +escape. So taking horse one morning early, as he luckily lived near +the Prato gate, in that direction he went off. His departure was soon +known; the creditors were all in a bustle; the magistrates were +applied to, and the officers of justice, along with a great part of +the populace, were dispatched in pursuit. Roderigo had hardly +proceeded a mile before he heard this hue and cry, and the pursuers +were soon so close at his heels that the only resource he had left was +to abandon the highroad and take to the open country, with the hope of +concealing himself in the fields. But finding himself unable to make +way over the hedges and ditches, he left his horse and took to his +heels, traversing fields of vines and canes, until he reached +Peretola, where he entered the house of Matteo del Bricca, a labourer +of Giovanna del Bene. Finding him at home, for he was busily providing +fodder for his cattle, our hero earnestly entreated him to save him +from the hands of his adversaries close behind, who would infallibly +starve him to death in a dungeon, engaging that if Matteo would give +him refuge, he would make him one of the richest men alive, and afford +him such proofs of it before he took his leave as would convince him +of the truth of what he said; and if he failed to do this, he was +quite content that Matteo himself should deliver him into the hands of +his enemies. + +Now Matteo, although a rustic, was a man of courage, and concluding +that he could not lose anything by the speculation, he gave him his +hand and agreed to save him. He then thrust our hero under a heap of +rubbish, completely enveloping him in weeds; so that when his pursuers +arrived they found themselves quite at a loss, nor could they extract +from Matteo the least information as to his appearance. In this +dilemma there was nothing left for them but to proceed in the pursuit, +which they continued for two days, and then returned, jaded and +disappointed, to Florence. In the meanwhile, Matteo drew our hero from +his hiding-place, and begged him to fulfil his engagement. To this +his friend Roderigo replied: "I confess, brother, that I am under +great obligations to you, and I mean to return them. To leave no doubt +upon your mind, I will inform you who I am;" and he proceeded to +acquaint him with all the particulars of the affair: how he had come +into the world, and married, and run away. He next described to his +preserver the way in which he might become rich, which was briefly as +follows: As soon as Matteo should hear of some lady in the +neighbourhood being said to be possessed, he was to conclude that it +was Roderigo himself who had taken possession of her; and he gave him +his word, at the same time, that he would never leave her until Matteo +should come and conjure him to depart. In this way he might obtain +what sum he pleased from the lady's friends for the price of +exorcizing her; and having mutually agreed upon this plan, Roderigo +disappeared. + +Not many days elapsed before it was reported in Florence that the +daughter of Messer Ambrogio Amedei, a lady married to Buonajuto +Tebalducci, was possessed by the devil. Her relations did not fail to +apply every means usual on such occasions to expel him, such as making +her wear upon her head St. Zanobi's cap, and the cloak of St. John of +Gualberto; but these had only the effect of making Roderigo laugh. And +to convince them that it was really a spirit that possessed her, and +that it was no flight of the imagination, he made the young lady talk +Latin, hold a philosophical dispute, and reveal the frailties of many +of her acquaintance. He particularly accused a certain friar of having +introduced a lady into his monastery in male attire, to the no small +scandal of all who heard it, and the astonishment of the brotherhood. +Messer Ambrogio found it impossible to silence him, and began to +despair of his daughter's cure. But the news reaching Matteo, he lost +no time in waiting upon Ambrogio, assuring him of his daughter's +recovery on condition of his paying him five hundred florins, with +which to purchase a farm at Peretola. To this Messer Ambrogio +consented; and Matteo immediately ordered a number of masses to be +said, after which he proceeded with some unmeaning ceremonies +calculated to give solemnity to his task. Then approaching the young +lady, he whispered in her ear: "Roderigo, it is Matteo that is come. +So do as we agreed upon, and get out." Roderigo replied: "It is all +well; but you have not asked enough to make you a rich man. So when I +depart I will take possession of the daughter of Charles, king of +Naples, and I will not leave her till you come. You may then demand +whatever you please for your reward; and mind that you never trouble +me again." And when he had said this, he went out of the lady, to the +no small delight and amazement of the whole city of Florence. + +It was not long again before the accident that had happened to the +daughter of the king of Naples began to be buzzed about the country, +and all the monkish remedies having been found to fail, the king, +hearing of Matteo, sent for him from Florence. On arriving at Naples, +Matteo, after a few ceremonies, performed the cure. Before leaving the +princess, however, Roderigo said: "You see, Matteo, I have kept my +promise and made a rich man of you, and I owe you nothing now. So, +henceforward you will take care to keep out of my way, lest as I have +hitherto done you some good, just the contrary should happen to you in +future." Upon this Matteo thought it best to return to Florence, after +receiving fifty thousand ducats from his majesty, in order to enjoy +his riches in peace, and never once imagined that Roderigo would come +in his way again. But in this he was deceived; for he soon heard that +a daughter of Louis, king of France, was possessed by an evil spirit, +which disturbed our friend Matteo not a little, thinking of his +majesty's great authority and of what Roderigo had said. Hearing of +Matteo's great skill, and finding no other remedy, the king dispatched +a messenger for him, whom Matteo contrived to send back with a variety +of excuses. But this did not long avail him; the king applied to the +Florentine council, and our hero was compelled to attend. Arriving +with no very pleasant sensations at Paris, he was introduced into the +royal presence, when he assured his majesty that though it was true he +had acquired some fame in the course of his demoniac practice, he +could by no means always boast of success, and that some devils were +of such a desperate character as not to pay the least attention to +threats, enchantments, or even the exorcisms of religion itself. He +would, nevertheless, do his majesty's pleasure, entreating at the same +time to be held excused if it should happen to prove an obstinate +case. To this the king made answer, that be the case what it might, he +would certainly hang him if he did not succeed. It is impossible to +describe poor Matteo's terror and perplexity on hearing these words; +but at length mustering courage, he ordered the possessed princess to +be brought into his presence. Approaching as usual close to her ear, +he conjured Roderigo in the most humble terms, by all he had ever done +for him, not to abandon him in such a dilemma, but to show some sense +of gratitude for past services and to leave the princess. "Ah! thou +traitorous villain!" cried Roderigo, "hast thou, indeed, ventured to +meddle in this business? Dost thou boast thyself a rich man at my +expense? I will now convince the world and thee of the extent of my +power, both to give and to take away. I shall have the pleasure of +seeing thee hanged before thou leavest this place." Poor Matteo +finding there was no remedy, said nothing more, but, like a wise man, +set his head to work in order to discover some other means of +expelling the spirit; for which purpose he said to the king, "Sire, it +is as I feared: there are certain spirits of so malignant a character +that there is no keeping any terms with them, and this is one of them. +However, I will make a last attempt, and I trust that it will succeed +according to our wishes. If not, I am in your majesty's power, and I +hope you will take compassion on my innocence. In the first place, I +have to entreat that your majesty will order a large stage to be +erected in the centre of the great square, such as will admit the +nobility and clergy of the whole city. The stage ought to be adorned +with all kinds of silks and with cloth of gold, and with an altar +raised in the middle. Tomorrow morning I would have your majesty, with +your full train of lords and ecclesiastics in attendance, seated in +order and in magnificent array, as spectators of the scene at the said +place. There, after having celebrated solemn mass, the possessed +princess must appear; but I have in particular to entreat that on one +side of the square may be stationed a band of men with drums, +trumpets, horns, tambours, bagpipes, cymbals, and kettle-drums, and +all other kinds of instruments that make the most infernal noise. Now, +when I take my hat off, let the whole band strike up, and approach +with the most horrid uproar towards the stage. This, along with a few +other secret remedies which I shall apply, will surely compel the +spirit to depart." + +These preparations were accordingly made by the royal command; and +when the day, being Sunday morning, arrived, the stage was seen +crowded with people of rank and the square with the people. Mass was +celebrated, and the possessed princess conducted between two bishops, +with a train of nobles, to the spot. Now, when Roderigo beheld so vast +a concourse of people, together with all this awful preparation, he +was almost struck dumb with astonishment, and said to himself, "I +wonder what that cowardly wretch is thinking of doing now? Does he +imagine I have never seen finer things than these in the regions +above--ay! and more horrid things below? However, I will soon make him +repent it, at all events." Matteo then approaching him, besought him +to come out; but Roderigo replied, "Oh, you think you have done a fine +thing now! What do you mean to do with all this trumpery? Can you +escape my power, think you, in this way, or elude the vengeance of the +king? Thou poltroon villain, I will have thee hanged for this!" And +as Matteo continued the more to entreat him, his adversary still +vilified him in the same strain. So Matteo, believing there was no +time to be lost, made the sign with his hat, when all the musicians +who had been stationed there for the purpose suddenly struck up a +hideous din, and ringing a thousand peals, approached the spot. +Roderigo pricked up his ears at the sound, quite at a loss what to +think, and rather in a perturbed tone of voice he asked Matteo what it +meant. To this the latter returned, apparently much alarmed: "Alas! +dear Roderigo, it is your wife; she is coming for you!" It is +impossible to give an idea of the anguish of Roderigo's mind and the +strange alteration which his feelings underwent at that name. The +moment the name of "wife" was pronounced, he had no longer presence of +mind to consider whether it were probable, or even possible, that it +could be her. Without replying a single word, he leaped out and fled +in the utmost terror, leaving the lady to herself, and preferring +rather to return to his infernal abode and render an account of his +adventures, than run the risk of any further sufferings and vexations +under the matrimonial yoke. And thus Belphagor again made his +appearance in the infernal domains, bearing ample testimony to the +evils introduced into a household by a wife; while Matteo, on his +part, who knew more of the matter than the devil, returned +triumphantly home, not a little proud of the victory he had achieved. + + + + +THE DEVIL AND TOM WALKER[2] + +BY WASHINGTON IRVING + + + [2] Courtesy of G. P. Putnam's Sons, Publishers, New York & + London. + +A few miles from Boston in Massachusetts, there is a deep inlet, +winding several miles into the interior of the country from Charles +Bay, and terminating in a thickly-wooded swamp or morass. On one side +of this inlet is a beautiful dark grove; on the opposite side the land +rises abruptly from the water's edge into a high ridge, on which grow +a few scattered oaks of great age and immense size. Under one of these +gigantic trees, according to old stories, there was a great amount of +treasure buried by Kidd the pirate. The inlet allowed a facility to +bring the money in a boat secretly and at night to the very foot of +the hill; the elevation of the place permitted a good lookout to be +kept that no one was at hand; while the remarkable trees formed good +landmarks by which the place might easily be found again. The old +stories add, moreover, that the devil presided at the hiding of the +money, and took it under his guardianship; but this, it is well known, +he always does with buried treasure, particularly when it has been +ill-gotten. Be that as it may, Kidd never returned to recover his +wealth; being shortly after seized at Boston, sent out to England, and +there hanged for a pirate. + +About the year 1727, just at the time that earthquakes were prevalent +in New England, and shook many tall sinners down upon their knees, +there lived near this place a meagre, miserly fellow, of the name of +Tom Walker. He had a wife as miserly as himself: they were so miserly +that they even conspired to cheat each other. Whatever the woman could +lay hands on, she hid away; a hen could not cackle but she was on the +alert to secure the new-laid egg. Her husband was continually prying +about to detect her secret hoards, and many and fierce were the +conflicts that took place about what ought to have been common +property. They lived in a forlorn-looking house that stood alone, and +had an air of starvation. A few straggling savin-trees, emblems of +sterility, grew near it; no smoke ever curled from its chimney; no +traveller stopped at its door. A miserable horse, whose ribs were as +articulate as the bars of a gridiron, stalked about a field, where a +thin carpet of moss, scarcely covering the ragged beds of +pudding-stone, tantalized and balked his hunger; and sometimes he +would lean his head over the fence, look piteously at the passer-by, +and seem to petition deliverance from this land of famine. + +The house and its inmates had altogether a bad name. Tom's wife was a +tall termagant, fierce of temper, loud of tongue, and strong of arm. +Her voice was often heard in wordy warfare with her husband; and his +face sometimes showed signs that their conflicts were not confined to +words. No one ventured, however, to interfere between them. The lonely +wayfarer shrunk within himself at the horrid clamour and +clapper-clawing; eyed the den of discord askance; and hurried on his +way, rejoicing, if a bachelor, in his celibacy. + +One day that Tom Walker had been to a distant part of the +neighbourhood, he took what he considered a short cut homeward, +through the swamp. Like most short cuts, it was an ill-chosen route. +The swamp was thickly grown with great gloomy pines and hemlocks, some +of them ninety feet high, which made it dark at noonday, and a retreat +for all the owls of the neighbourhood. It was full of pits and +quagmires, partly covered with weeds and mosses, where the green +surface often betrayed the traveller into a gulf of black, smothering +mud: there were also dark and stagnant pools, the abodes of the +tadpole, the bull-frog, and the water-snake; where the trunks of pines +and hemlocks lay half-drowned, half-rotting, looking like alligators +sleeping in the mire. + +Tom had long been picking his way cautiously through this treacherous +forest; stepping from tuft to tuft of rushes and roots, which afforded +precarious footholds among deep sloughs; or pacing carefully, like a +cat, along the prostrate trunks of trees; startled now and then by the +sudden screaming of the bittern, or the quacking of a wild duck rising +on the wing from some solitary pool. At length he arrived at a firm +piece of ground, which ran out like a peninsula into the deep bosom of +the swamp. It had been one of the strongholds of the Indians during +their wars with the first colonists. Here they had thrown up a kind of +fort, which they had looked upon as almost impregnable, and had used +as a place of refuge for their squaws and children. Nothing remained +of the old Indian fort but a few embankments, gradually sinking to the +level of the surrounding earth, and already overgrown in part by oaks +and other forest trees, the foliage of which formed a contrast to the +dark pines and hemlocks of the swamp. + +It was late in the dusk of evening when Tom Walker reached the old +fort, and he paused there awhile to rest himself. Any one but he would +have felt unwilling to linger in this lonely, melancholy place, for +the common people had a bad opinion of it, from the stories handed +down from the time of the Indian wars; when it was asserted that the +savages held incantations here, and made sacrifices to the evil +spirit. + +Tom Walker, however, was not a man to be troubled with any fears of +the kind. He reposed himself for some time on the trunk of a fallen +hemlock, listening to the boding cry of the tree-toad, and delving +with his walking-staff into a mound of black mould at his feet. As he +turned up the soil unconsciously, his staff struck against something +hard. He raked it out of the vegetable mould, and lo! a cloven skull, +with an Indian tomahawk buried deep in it, lay before him. The rust on +the weapon showed the time that had elapsed since this death-blow had +been given. It was a dreary memento of the fierce struggle that had +taken place in this last foothold of the Indian warriors. + +"Humph!" said Tom Walker, as he gave it a kick to shake the dirt from +it. + +"Let that skull alone!" said a gruff voice. Tom lifted up his eyes, +and beheld a great black man seated directly opposite him, on the +stump of a tree. He was exceedingly surprised, having neither heard +nor seen any one approach; and he was still more perplexed on +observing, as well as the gathering gloom would permit, that the +stranger was neither negro nor Indian. It is true he was dressed in a +rude half Indian garb, and had a red belt or sash swathed round his +body; but his face was neither black nor copper-colour, but swarthy +and dingy, and begrimed with soot, as if he had been accustomed to +toil among fires and forges. He had a shock of coarse black hair, that +stood out from his head in all directions, and bore an ax on his +shoulder. + +He scowled for a moment at Tom with a pair of great red eyes. + +"What are you doing on my grounds?" said the black man, with a hoarse +growling voice. + +"Your grounds!" said Tom, with a sneer, "no more your grounds than +mine; they belong to Deacon Peabody." + +"Deacon Peabody be d--d," said the stranger, "as I flatter myself he +will be, if he does not look more to his own sins and less to those of +his neighbours. Look yonder, and see how Deacon Peabody is faring." + +Tom looked in the direction that the stranger pointed, and beheld one +of the great trees, fair and flourishing without, but rotten at the +core, and saw that it had been nearly hewn through, so that the first +high wind was likely to blow it down. On the bark of the tree was +scored the name of Deacon Peabody, an eminent man, who had waxed +wealthy by driving shrewd bargains with the Indians. He now looked +around, and found most of the tall trees marked with the name of some +great man of the colony, and all more or less scored by the ax. The +one on which he had been seated, and which had evidently just been +hewn down, bore the name of Crowninshield; and he recollected a mighty +rich man of that name, who made a vulgar display of wealth, which it +was whispered he had acquired by buccaneering. + +"He's just ready for burning!" said the black man, with a growl of +triumph. "You see I am likely to have a good stock of firewood for +winter." + +"But what right have you," said Tom, "to cut down Deacon Peabody's +timber?" + +"The right of a prior claim," said the other. "This woodland belonged +to me long before one of your whitefaced race put foot upon the soil." + +"And pray, who are you, if I may be so bold?" said Tom. + +"Oh, I go by various names. I am the wild huntsman in some countries; +the black miner in others. In this neighbourhood I am known by the +name of the black woodsman. I am he to whom the red men consecrated +this spot, and in honour of whom they now and then roasted a white +man, by way of sweet-smelling sacrifice. Since the red men have been +exterminated by you white savages, I amuse myself by presiding at the +persecutions of Quakers and Anabaptists; I am the great patron and +prompter of slave-dealers, and the grand-master of the Salem +witches." + +"The upshot of all which is, that, if I mistake not," said Tom, +sturdily, "you are he commonly called Old Scratch." + +"The same, at your service!" replied the black man, with a half civil +nod. + +Such was the opening of this interview, according to the old story; +though it has almost too familiar an air to be credited. One would +think that to meet with such a singular personage, in this wild, +lonely place, would have shaken any man's nerves; but Tom was a +hard-minded fellow, not easily daunted, and he had lived so long with +a termagant wife, that he did not even fear the devil. + +It is said that after this commencement they had a long and earnest +conversation together, as Tom returned homeward. The black man told +him of great sums of money buried by Kidd the pirate, under the +oak-trees on the high ridge, not far from the morass. All these were +under his command, and protected by his power, so that none could find +them but such as propitiated his favour. These he offered to place +within Tom Walker's reach, having conceived an especial kindness for +him; but they were to be had only on certain conditions. What these +conditions were may be easily surmised, though Tom never disclosed +them publicly. They must have been very hard, for he required time to +think of them, and he was not a man to stick at trifles when money was +in view. When they had reached the edge of the swamp, the stranger +paused. "What proof have I that all you have been telling me is true?" +said Tom. "There's my signature," said the black man, pressing his +finger on Tom's forehead. So saying, he turned off among the thickets +of the swamp, and seemed, as Tom said, to go down, down, down, into +the earth, until nothing but his head and shoulders could be seen, and +so on, until he totally disappeared. + +When Tom reached home, he found the black print of a finger burnt, as +it were, into his forehead, which nothing could obliterate. + +The first news his wife had to tell him was the sudden death of +Absalom Crowninshield, the rich buccaneer. It was announced in the +papers with the usual flourish, that "A great man had fallen in +Israel." + +Tom recollected the tree which his black friend had just hewn down, +and which was ready for burning. "Let the freebooter roast," said Tom, +"who cares!" He now felt convinced that all he had heard and seen was +no illusion. + +He was not prone to let his wife into his confidence; but as this was +an uneasy secret, he willingly shared it with her. All her avarice was +awakened at the mention of hidden gold, and she urged her husband to +comply with the black man's terms, and secure what would make them +wealthy for life. However Tom might have felt disposed to sell himself +to the Devil, he was determined not to do so to oblige his wife; so he +flatly refused, out of the mere spirit of contradiction. Many and +bitter were the quarrels they had on the subject; but the more she +talked, the more resolute was Tom not to be damned to please her. + +At length she determined to drive the bargain on her own account, and +if she succeeded, to keep all the gain to herself. Being of the same +fearless temper as her husband, she set off for the old Indian fort +towards the close of a summer's day. She was many hours absent. When +she came back, she was reserved and sullen in her replies. She spoke +something of a black man, whom she had met about twilight hewing at +the root of a tall tree. He was sulky, however, and would not come to +terms: she was to go again with a propitiatory offering, but what it +was she forbore to say. + +The next evening she set off again for the swamp, with her apron +heavily laden. Tom waited and waited for her, but in vain; midnight +came, but she did not make her appearance: morning, noon, night +returned, but still she did not come. Tom now grew uneasy for her +safety, especially as he found she had carried off in her apron the +silver tea-pot and spoons, and every portable article of value. +Another night elapsed, another morning came; but no wife. In a word, +she was never heard of more. + +What was her real fate nobody knows, in consequence of so many +pretending to know. It is one of those facts which have become +confounded by a variety of historians. Some asserted that she lost her +way among the tangled mazes of the swamp, and sank into some pit or +slough; others, more charitable, hinted that she had eloped with the +household booty, and made off to some other province; while others +surmised that the tempter had decoyed her into a dismal quagmire, on +the top of which her hat was found lying. In confirmation of this, it +was said a great black man, with an ax on his shoulder, was seen late +that very evening coming out of the swamp, carrying a bundle tied in +a check apron, with an air of surly triumph. + +The most current and probable story, however, observes, that Tom +Walker grew so anxious about the fate of his wife and his property, +that he set out at length to seek them both at the Indian fort. During +a long summer's afternoon he searched about the gloomy place, but no +wife was to be seen. He called her name repeatedly, but she was +nowhere to be heard. The bittern alone responded to his voice, as he +flew screaming by; or the bull-frog croaked dolefully from a +neighbouring pool. At length, it is said, just in the brown hour of +twilight, when the owls began to hoot, and the bats to flit about, his +attention was attracted by the clamour of carrion crows hovering about +a cypress-tree. He looked up, and beheld a bundle tied in a check +apron, and hanging in the branches of the tree, with a great vulture +perched hard by, as if keeping watch upon it. He leaped with joy; for +he recognized his wife's apron, and supposed it to contain the +household valuables. + +"Let us get hold of the property," said he, consolingly to himself, +"and we will endeavour to do without the woman." + +As he scrambled up the tree, the vulture spread its wide wings, and +sailed off, screaming, into the deep shadows of the forest. Tom seized +the checked apron, but, woeful sight! found nothing but a heart and +liver tied up in it! + +Such, according to this most authentic old story, was all that was to +be found of Tom's wife. She had probably attempted to deal with the +black man as she had been accustomed to deal with her husband; but +though a female scold is generally considered a match for the devil, +yet in this instance she appears to have had the worst of it. She must +have died game, however; for it is said Tom noticed many prints of +cloven feet deeply stamped about the tree, and found handfuls of hair, +that looked as if they had been plucked from the coarse black shock of +the woodman. Tom knew his wife's prowess by experience. He shrugged +his shoulders, as he looked at the signs of a fierce clapper-clawing. +"Egad," said he to himself, "Old Scratch must have had a tough time of +it!" + +Tom consoled himself for the loss of his property, with the loss of +his wife, for he was a man of fortitude. He even felt something like +gratitude towards the black woodman, who, he considered, had done him +a kindness. He sought, therefore, to cultivate a further acquaintance +with him, but for some time without success; the old black-legs played +shy, for whatever people may think, he is not always to be had for +calling for: he knows how to play his cards when pretty sure of his +game. + +At length, it is said, when delay had whetted Tom's eagerness to the +quick, and prepared him to agree to anything rather than not gain the +promised treasure, he met the black man one evening in his usual +woodman's dress, with his ax on his shoulder, sauntering along the +swamp, and humming a tune. He affected to receive Tom's advances with +great indifference, made brief replies, and went on humming his tune. + +By degrees, however, Tom brought him to business, and they began to +haggle about the terms on which the former was to have the pirate's +treasure. There was one condition which need not be mentioned, being +generally understood in all cases where the devil grants favours; but +there were others about which, though of less importance, he was +inflexibly obstinate. He insisted that the money found through his +means should be employed in his service. He proposed, therefore, that +Tom should employ it in the black traffic; that is to say, that he +should fit out a slave-ship. This, however, Tom resolutely refused: he +was bad enough in all conscience; but the devil himself could not +tempt him to turn slave-trader. + +Finding Tom so squeamish on this point, he did not insist upon it, but +proposed, instead, that he should turn usurer; the devil being +extremely anxious for the increase of usurers, looking upon them as +his peculiar people. + +To this no objections were made, for it was just to Tom's taste. + +"You shall open a broker's shop in Boston next month," said the black +man. + +"I'll do it tomorrow, if you wish," said Tom Walker. + +"You shall lend money at two per cent. a month." + +"Egad, I'll charge four!" replied Tom Walker. + +"You shall extort bonds, foreclose mortgages, drive the merchants to +bankruptcy"-- + +"I'll drive them to the d--l," cried Tom Walker. + +"You are the usurer for my money!" said black-legs with delight. "When +will you want the rhino?" + +"This very night." + +"Done!" said the devil. + +"Done!" said Tom Walker.--So they shook hands and struck a bargain. + +A few days' time saw Tom Walker seated behind his desk in a +counting-house in Boston. + +His reputation for a ready-moneyed man, who would lend money out for a +good consideration, soon spread abroad. Everybody remembers the time +of Governor Belcher, when money was particularly scarce. It was a time +of paper credit. The country had been deluged with government bills, +the famous Land Bank had been established; there had been a rage for +speculating; the people had run mad with schemes for new settlements; +for building cities in the wilderness; land-jobbers went about with +maps of grants, and townships, and Eldorados, lying nobody knew where, +but which everybody was ready to purchase. In a word, the great +speculating fever which breaks out every now and then in the country, +had raged to an alarming degree, and everybody was dreaming of making +sudden fortunes from nothing. As usual the fever had subsided; the +dream had gone off, and the imaginary fortunes with it; the patients +were left in doleful plight, and the whole country resounded with the +consequent cry of "hard times." + +At this propitious time of public distress did Tom Walker set up as +usurer in Boston. His door was soon thronged by customers. The needy +and adventurous; the gambling speculator; the dreaming land-jobber; +the thriftless tradesman; the merchant with cracked credit; in short, +every one driven to raise money by desperate means and desperate +sacrifices, hurried to Tom Walker. + +Thus Tom was the universal friend of the needy, and acted like a +"friend in need"; that is to say, he always exacted good pay and good +security. In proportion to the distress of the applicant was the +hardness of his terms. He accumulated bonds and mortgages; gradually +squeezed his customers closer and closer: and sent them at length, dry +as a sponge, from his door. + +In this way he made money hand over hand; became a rich and mighty +man, and exalted his cocked hat upon 'Change. He built himself, as +usual, a vast house, out of ostentation; but left the greater part of +it unfinished and unfurnished, out of parsimony. He even set up a +carriage in the fulness of his vainglory, though he nearly starved the +horses which drew it; and as the ungreased wheels groaned and +screeched on the axle-trees, you would have thought you heard the +souls of the poor debtors he was squeezing. + +As Tom waxed old, however, he grew thoughtful. Having secured the good +things of this world, he began to feel anxious about those of the +next. He thought with regret on the bargain he had made with his black +friend, and set his wits to work to cheat him out of the conditions. +He became, therefore, all of a sudden, a violent church-goer. He +prayed loudly and strenuously, as if heaven were to be taken by force +of lungs. Indeed, one might always tell when he had sinned most during +the week, by the clamour of his Sunday devotion. The quiet Christians +who had been modestly and steadfastly travelling Zionward, were struck +with self-reproach at seeing themselves so suddenly outstripped in +their career by this new-made convert. Tom was as rigid in religious +as in money matters; he was a stern supervisor and censurer of his +neighbours, and seemed to think every sin entered up to their account +became a credit on his own side of the page. He even talked of the +expediency of reviving the persecution of Quakers and Anabaptists. In +a word, Tom's zeal became as notorious as his riches. + +Still, in spite of all this strenuous attention to forms, Tom had a +lurking dread that the devil, after all, would have his due. That he +might not be taken unawares, therefore, it is said he always carried a +small Bible in his coat-pocket. He had also a great folio Bible on his +counting-house desk, and would frequently be found reading it when +people called on business; on such occasions he would lay his green +spectacles in the book, to mark the place, while he turned round to +drive some usurious bargain. + +Some say that Tom grew a little crack-brained in his old days, and +that, fancying his end approaching, he had his horse new shod, saddled +and bridled, and buried with his feet uppermost; because he supposed +that at the last day the world would be turned upside down; in which +case he should find his horse standing ready for mounting, and he was +determined at the worst to give his old friend a run for it. This, +however, is probably a mere old wives' fable. If he really did take +such a precaution, it was totally superfluous; at least so says the +authentic old legend; which closes his story in the following manner. + +One hot summer afternoon in the dog-days, just as a terrible black +thunder-gust was coming up, Tom sat in his counting-house, in his +white linen cap and India silk morning-gown. He was on the point of +foreclosing a mortgage, by which he would complete the ruin of an +unlucky land-speculator for whom he had professed the greatest +friendship. The poor land-jobber begged him to grant a few months' +indulgence. Tom had grown testy and irritated, and refused another +day. + +"My family will be ruined, and brought upon the parish," said the +land-jobber. "Charity begins at home," replied Tom; "I must take care +of myself in these hard times." + +"You have made so much money out of me," said the speculator. + +Tom lost his patience and his piety. "The devil take me," said he, "if +I have made a farthing!" + +Just then there were three loud knocks at the street-door. He stepped +out to see who was there. A black man was holding a black horse, which +neighed and stamped with impatience. + +"Tom, you're come for," said the black fellow, gruffly. Tom shrank +back, but too late. He had left his little Bible at the bottom of his +coat-pocket, and his big Bible on the desk buried under the mortgage +he was about to foreclose: never was sinner taken more unawares. The +black man whisked him like a child into the saddle, gave the horse the +lash, and away he galloped, with Tom on his back, in the midst of the +thunder-storm. The clerks stuck their pens behind their ears, and +stared after him from the windows. Away went Tom Walker, dashing down +the street; his white cap bobbing up and down; his morning-gown +fluttering in the wind, and his steed striking fire out of the +pavement at every bound. When the clerks turned to look for the black +man, he had disappeared. + +Tom Walker never returned to foreclose the mortgage. A countryman, who +lived on the border of the swamp, reported that in the height of the +thunder-gust he had heard a great clattering of hoofs and a howling +along the road, and running to the window caught sight of a figure, +such as I have described, on a horse that galloped like mad across the +fields, over the hills, and down into the black hemlock swamp towards +the old Indian fort; and that shortly after a thunder-bolt falling in +that direction seemed to set the whole forest in a blaze. + +The good people of Boston shook their heads and shrugged their +shoulders, but had been so much accustomed to witches and goblins, and +tricks of the devil, in all kinds of shapes, from the first settlement +of the colony, that they were not so much horror-struck as might have +been expected. Trustees were appointed to take charge of Tom's +effects. There was nothing, however, to administer upon. On searching +his coffers, all his bonds and mortgages were found reduced to +cinders. In place of gold and silver, his iron chest was filled with +chips and shavings; two skeletons lay in his stable instead of his +half-starved horses, and the very next day his great house took fire +and was burnt to the ground. + +Such was the end of Tom Walker and his ill-gotten wealth. Let all +griping money-brokers lay this story to heart. The truth of it is not +to be doubted. The very hole under the oak-trees, whence he dug Kidd's +money, is to be seen to this day; and the neighbouring swamp and old +Indian fort are often haunted in stormy nights by a figure on +horseback, in morning-gown and white cap, which is doubtless the +troubled spirit of the usurer. In fact, the story has resolved itself +into a proverb, and is the origin of that popular saying, so prevalent +throughout New England, of "The Devil and Tom Walker." + + + + +FROM THE MEMOIRS OF SATAN + +BY WILHELM HAUFF + + +In this way the jovial stranger had kept myself, and twelve or fifteen +other gentlemen and ladies (our fellow guests), in a perpetual whirl +of delight. Scarcely any had any special business to detain them at +the hotel, and yet none ventured to entertain the mere idea of +departure, even at a distant day. On the other hand, after we had +slept for some time late on mornings, sat long at dinner, sung and +played long of evenings, and drank, chatted, and laughed long of +nights, the magic tie which bound us to this hotel seemed to have +woven new chains around us. + +This intoxication, however, was soon to be put an end to, perhaps for +our good. On the seventh day of our rejoicings, a Sunday, our friend +Von Natas was not to be found anywhere. The waiters gave as his +apology a short journey; he could not return before sunset, but would +certainly be in time for tea and supper. + +The enjoyment of his society had already become such a necessity, that +this piece of information made us helpless and ill at ease. + +The conversation turned naturally on our absent friend and his +striking, brilliant apparition among us. It was strange, but I could +not get it out of my head that I had already met with him in my walk +through life, but in a different shape; and, absurd as the idea was, +it still forced itself irresistibly on my mind once and again. I +called to mind, from years long gone by, the recollection of a man who +in his whole demeanour, but more especially in his glance, had the +greatest resemblance to him. The one of whom I now speak was a foreign +physician, who occasionally visited my native town, and there lived at +first in great retirement, though he soon found a crowd of worshippers +collected around him. The thought of this man was always a melancholy +one, for it was asserted that some serious misfortune always followed +his visits; still I could not shake off the idea that Natas resembled +him strikingly, in fact that he was one and the same person. + +I mentioned to my next neighbour at table the idea that incessantly +haunted me, and how unpleasant it was to identify so horrible a being +as the stranger who had so afflicted my native city, with our mutual +friend who had so fully gained my esteem and affection; but it will +seem still more incredible when I assure my readers that all my +neighbours were full of precisely the same idea, and that all fancied +they had seen our agreeable companion in some entirely different +shape. + +"You are enough to make one downright melancholy," said Baroness von +Thingen, who sat near me; "you make our friend Natas out to be the +Wandering Jew, or God knows what more!" + +A little old man, a professor in Tibsingen, who had joined our circle +some days before, and passed his time in quiet, silent enjoyment, +enlivened by an occasional deep conference with the Rhine wine, had +kept smiling to himself during what he called our "comparative +anatomy," and twirling his huge snuff-box between his fingers with +such skilful rapidity, that it revolved like a coach-wheel. + +"I cannot longer refrain from a remark I wished to make," exclaimed he +at last. "Under your favour, gracious lady, I do not look upon him as +being precisely the Wandering Jew, but still as being a very strange +mortal. As long as he was present, the thought would, it is true, now +and then flash up in my mind, 'You have seen this man before, but pray +where was it?' but these recollections were driven away as if by magic +whenever he fastened upon me those dark wandering eyes of his." + +"So was it with me--and with me--and with me," exclaimed we all in +astonishment. + +"Hem! hem!" smiled the Professor. "Even now the scales seem to fall +from my eyes, and I see that he is the very same person I saw in +Stuttgart twelve years ago." + +"What, you have seen him then, and in what circumstances?" asked Lady +von Thingen eagerly, and almost blushed at the eagerness she +displayed. + +The Professor took a pinch of snuff, shook the superfluous grains off +his waistcoat, and answered--"It may be now about twelve years since I +was forced by a law-suit to spend some months in Stuttgart. I lived at +one of the best hotels, and generally dined with a large company at +the table d'hote. Once upon a time I made my first appearance at table +after a lapse of several days, during which I had been forced to keep +my room. The company were talking very eagerly about a certain Signor +Barighi, who for some time past had been delighting the other visitors +with his lively wit, and his fluency in all languages. All were +unanimous in his praise, but they could not exactly agree as to his +occupation; some making him out a diplomatist, others a teacher of +languages, a third party a distinguished political exile, and a fourth +a spy of the police. The door opened, all seemed silent, even +confused, at having carried on the dispute in so loud a tone; I judged +that the person spoken of must be among us, and saw--" + +"Who, pray?" + +"Under favour, the same person who has amused us so agreeably for some +days past. There was nothing supernatural in this, to be sure, but +listen a moment; for two days Signor Barighi, as the stranger was +called, had given a new relish to our meals by his brilliant +conversation, when mine host interrupted us suddenly--'Gentlemen,' +said he, 'prepare yourself for an unique entertainment which will be +provided for you tomorrow.' + +"We asked what this meant, and a grey headed captain, who had presided +at the hotel table many years, informed us of the joke as +follows--Exactly opposite this dining room, an old bachelor lives, +solitary and alone, in a large deserted house; he is a retired +Counsellor of State--lives on a handsome premium, and has an enormous +fortune besides. He is, however, a downright fool, and has some of the +strangest peculiarities; thus, for instance, he often gives himself +entertainments on a scale of extravagant luxury. He orders covers for +twelve, from the hotel, he has excellent wines in his cellar, and one +or the other of our waiters has the honour to attend table. You think, +perhaps, that at these feasts he feeds the hungry, and gives drink to +the thirsty--no such thing; on the chairs lie old yellow leaves of +parchment, from the family record, and the old hunks is as jovial as +if he had the merriest set of fellows around him; he talks and laughs +with them, and the whole thing is said to be so fearful to look upon, +that the youngest waiters are always sent over, for whoever has been +to one such supper will enter the deserted house no more. + +"The day before yesterday he had a supper, and our new waiter, Frank, +there, calls heaven and earth to witness that nobody shall ever induce +him to go there a second time. The next day after the entertainment +comes the Counsellor's second freak. Early in the morning he leaves +the city, and comes back the morning after; not, however, to his own +house, which during this time is fast locked and bolted, but into this +hotel. Here he treats people he has been in the habit of seeing for a +whole year, as strangers; dines, and afterwards places himself at one +of the windows, and examines his own house across the way from top to +bottom. + +"'Who does that house opposite belong to?' he then asks the host. + +"The other regularly bows and answers, 'It belongs to the Counsellor +of State, Hasentreffer, at your Excellency's service.'" + +"But, Professor," here observed I, "what has this silly Hasentreffer +of yours to do with our Natas?" + +"A moment's patience, Doctor," answered the Professor, "the light will +soon break in upon you. Hasentreffer then examines the house, and learns +that it belongs to Hasentreffer. 'Oh, what!' he asks, 'the same that was +a student with me at Tibsingen'--then throws open the window, stretches +his powdered head out, and calls out--'Ha-asentreffer--Ha-asentreffer!' + +"Of course no one answers, but he remarks: 'The old fellow would never +forgive me if I was not to look in on him for a moment,' then takes up +his hat and cane, unlocks his own house, goes in, and all goes on +after as before. + +"All of us," the Professor proceeded in his story, "were greatly +astonished at this singular story, and highly delighted at the idea of +the next day's merriment. Signor Barighi, however, obliged us to +promise that we would not betray him, as he said he was preparing a +capital joke to play off on the Counsellor. + +"We all met at the table d'hote earlier than usual, and besieged the +windows. An old tumble down carriage, drawn by two blind steeds, came +crawling down the street; it stopped before the hotel. There's +Hasentreffer, there's Hasentreffer, was echoed by every mouth; and we +were filled with extravagant merriment when we saw the little man get +out, neatly powdered, dressed in an iron grey surtout with a huge +meerschaum in hand. An escort of at least ten servants followed him +in, and in this guise he entered the dining-room. + +"We sat down at once. I have seldom laughed as much as I did then; for +the old chap insisted, with the greatest coolness, that he came direct +from Carrel, and that he had six days before been extremely well +entertained at the Swan Inn at Frankfort. Barighi must have +disappeared before the dessert, for when the Counsellor left the +table, and the other guests, full of curiosity, imitated his example, +Barighi was nowhere to be seen. + +"The Counsellor took his seat at the window; we all followed his +example and watched his movements. The house opposite seemed desolate +and uninhabited. Grass grew on the threshold, the shutters were +closed, and on some of them birds seemed to have built their nests. + +"'A fine house that, opposite,' said the old man to our host, who kept +standing behind him in the third position. 'Who does it belong to?' + +"'To the Counsellor of State, Hasentreffer, at your Excellency's +service.' + +"'Ah, indeed! that must be the same one that was a fellow-student with me,' +exclaimed he; 'he would never forgive me if I was not to inform him that +I was here.' He opened the window,--'Ha-asentreffer--Hasentreffer!' cried +he, in a hoarse voice. But who can paint our terror, when opposite, in +the empty house, which we knew was firmly locked and bolted, a +window-shutter was slowly raised, a window opened, and out of it +peered the Counsellor of State, Hasentreffer, in his chintz +morning-gown and white nightcap, under which a few thin grey locks +were visible; this, this exactly, was his usual morning costume. Down +to the minutest wrinkle on the pallid visage, the figure across the +street was precisely the same as the one that stood by our side. But +a panic seized us, when the figure in the morning-gown called out +across the street, in just the same hoarse voice, 'What do you want? +who are you calling to, hey?' + +"'Are you the Counsellor of State, Hasentreffer?' said the one on our +side of the way, pale as death, in a trembling voice, and quaking as +he leaned against the window for support. + +"'I'm the man,' squeaked the other, and nodded his head in a friendly +way; 'have you any commands for me?' + +"'But I'm the man too,' said our friend mournfully, 'how can it be +possible?' + +"'You are mistaken, my dear friend,' answered he across the way, 'you +are the thirteenth, be good enough just to step across the street to +my house, and let me twist your neck for you! it is by no means +painful.' + +"'Waiter! my hat and stick,' said the Counsellor, pale as death, and +his voice escaped in mournful tones from his hollow chest. 'The devil +is in my house and seeks my soul; a pleasant evening to you, +gentlemen,' added he, turning to us with a polite bow, and thereupon +left the room. + +"'What does this mean?' we asked each other; 'are we all beside +ourselves?' + +"The gentleman in the morning-gown kept looking quietly out of the +window, while our good silly old friend crossed the street at his +usual formal pace. At the front-door, he pulled a huge bunch of keys +out of his pocket, unlocked the heavy creaking door--he of the +morning-gown looking carelessly on, and walked in. + +"The latter now withdrew from the window, and we saw him go forward to +meet our acquaintance at the room-door. + +"Our host and the ten waiters were all pale with fear, and trembled. +'Gentlemen,' said the former, 'God pity poor Hasentreffer, for one of +those two must be the devil in human shape.' We laughed at our host, +and tried to persuade ourselves that it was a joke of Barighi's; but +our host assured us that no one could have obtained access to the +house except he was in possession of the Counsellor's very +artificially contrived keys; also, that Barighi was seated at table +not ten minutes before the prodigy happened; how then could he have +disguised himself so completely in so short a time, even supposing him +to have known how to unlock a strange house? He added, that the two +were so fearfully like one another, that he who had lived in the +neighbourhood for twenty years could not distinguish the true one from +the counterfeit. 'But, for God's sake, gentlemen, do you not hear the +horrid shrieks opposite?' + +"We rushed to the window--terrible and fearful voices rang across from +the empty house; we fancied we saw the old Counsellor, pursued by his +image in the morning-gown, hurry past the window repeatedly. On a +sudden all was quiet. + +"We gazed on each other; the boldest among us proposed to cross over +to the house--we all agreed to it. We crossed the street--the huge +bell at the old man's door was rung thrice, but nothing could be heard +in answer; we sent to the police and to a blacksmith's--the door was +broken open, the whole tide of anxious visitors poured up the wide +silent staircase--all the doors were fastened; at length one was +opened. In a splendid apartment, the Counsellor, his iron-grey +frock-coat torn to pieces, his neatly dressed hair in horrible +disorder, lay dead, strangled, on the sofa. + +"Since that time no traces of Barighi have been found, neither in +Stuttgart nor elsewhere." + + + + +ST. JOHN'S EVE[3] + +BY NIKOLAI VASILEVICH GOGOL + + + [3] From _St. John's Eve and Other Stories_, translated by + Isabel F. Hapgood from the Russian of N. V. Gogol. + (Copyright, 1886, by Thomas Y. Crowell & Co. By permission of + the Publishers.) + +Thoma Grigorovich had a very strange sort of eccentricity: to the day +of his death, he never liked to tell the same thing twice. There were +times, when, if you asked him to relate a thing afresh, behold, he +would interpolate new matter, or alter it so that it was impossible to +recognize it. Once on a time, one of those gentlemen (it is hard for +us simple people to put a name to them, to say whether they are +scribblers, or not scribblers: but it is just the same thing as the +usurers at our yearly fairs; they clutch and beg and steal every sort +of frippery, and issue mean little volumes, no thicker than an A B C +book, every month, or even every week),--one of these gentlemen wormed +this same story out of Thoma Grigorovich, and he completely forgot +about it. But that same young gentleman in the pea-green caftan, whom +I have mentioned, and one of whose tales you have already read, I +think, came from Poltava, bringing with him a little book, and, +opening it in the middle, shows it to us. Thoma Grigorovich was on the +point of setting his spectacles astride of his nose, but recollected +that he had forgotten to wind thread about them, and stick them +together with wax, so he passed it over to me. As I understand +something about reading and writing, and do not wear spectacles, I +undertook to read it. I had not turned two leaves, when all at once he +caught me by the hand, and stopped me. + +"Stop! tell me first what you are reading." + +I confess that I was a trifle stunned by such a question. + +"What! what am I reading, Thoma Grigorovich? These were your very +words." + +"Who told you that they were my words?" + +"Why, what more would you have? Here it is printed: _Related by such +and such a sacristan_." + +"Spit on the head of the man who printed that! he lies, the dog of a +Moscow pedlar! Did I say that? _'Twas just the same as though one +hadn't his wits about him!_ Listen, I'll tell it to you on the spot." + +We moved up to the table, and he began. + + * * * * * + +My grandfather (the kingdom of heaven be his! may he eat only wheaten +rolls and makovniki[4] with honey in the other world!) could tell a +story wonderfully well. When he used to begin on a tale, you wouldn't +stir from the spot all day, but keep on listening. He was no match for +the story-teller of the present day, when he begins to lie, with a +tongue as though he had had nothing to eat for three days, so that you +snatch your cap, and flee from the house. As I now recall it, my old +mother was alive then, in the long winter evenings when the frost was +crackling out of doors, and had so sealed up hermetically the narrow +panes of our cottage, she used to sit before the hackling-comb, +drawing out a long thread in her hand, rocking the cradle with her +foot, and humming a song, which I seem to hear even now. + + [4] Poppy-seeds cooked in honey, and dried in square cakes. + +The fat-lamp, quivering and flaring up as though in fear of something, +lighted us within our cottage; the spindle hummed; and all of us +children, collected in a cluster, listened to grandfather, who had not +crawled off the oven for more than five years, owing to his great age. +But the wondrous tales of the incursions of the Zaporozhian Cossacks, +the Poles, the bold deeds of Podkova, of Poltor-Kozhukh, and +Sagaidatchnii, did not interest us so much as the stories about some +deed of old which always sent a shiver through our frames, and made +our hair rise upright on our heads. Sometimes such terror took +possession of us in consequence of them, that, from that evening on, +Heaven knows what a marvel everything seemed to us. If you chanced to +go out of the cottage after nightfall for anything, you imagine that a +visitor from the other world has lain down to sleep in your bed; and I +should not be able to tell this a second time were it not that I had +often taken my own smock, at a distance, as it lay at the head of the +bed, for the Evil One rolled up in a ball! But the chief thing about +grandfather's stories was, that he never had lied in his life; and +whatever he said was so, was so. + +I will now relate to you one of his marvellous tales. I know that +there are a great many wise people who copy in the courts, and can +even read civil documents, who, if you were to put into their hand a +simple prayer-book, could not make out the first letter in it, and +would show all their teeth in derision--which is wisdom. These people +laugh at everything you tell them. Such incredulity has spread abroad +in the world! What then? (Why, may God and the Holy Virgin cease to +love me if it is not possible that even you will not believe me!) Once +he said something about witches; ... What then? Along comes one of +these head-breakers,--and doesn't believe in witches! Yes, glory to +God that I have lived so long in the world! I have seen heretics, to +whom it would be easier to lie in confession than it would for our +brothers and equals to take snuff, and those people would deny the +existence of witches! But let them just dream about something, and +they won't even tell what it was! There's no use in talking about +them! + + * * * * * + +No one could have recognized this village of ours a little over a +hundred years ago: a hamlet it was, the poorest kind of a hamlet. Half +a score of miserable izbas, unplastered, badly thatched, were +scattered here and there about the fields. There was not an enclosure +or a decent shed to shelter animals or wagons. That was the way the +wealthy lived: and if you had looked for our brothers, the poor,--why, +a hole in the ground,--that was a cabin for you! Only by the smoke +could you tell that a God-created man lived there. You ask, why they +lived so? It was not entirely through poverty: almost every one led a +wandering, Cossack life, and gathered not a little plunder in foreign +lands; it was rather because there was no reason for setting up a +well-ordered khata[5]. How many people were wandering all over the +country,--Crimeans, Poles, Lithuanians! It was quite possible that +their own countrymen might make a descent, and plunder everything. +Anything was possible. + + [5] Wooden house. + +In this hamlet a man, or rather a devil in human form, often made his +appearance. Why he came, and whence, no one knew. He prowled about, +got drunk, and suddenly disappeared as if into the air, and there was +not a hint of his existence. Then, again, behold, and he seemed to +have dropped from the sky, and went flying about the street of the +village, of which no trace now remains, and which was not more than a +hundred paces from Dikanka. He would collect together all the Cossacks +he met; then there were songs, laughter, money in abundance, and vodka +flowed like water.... He would address the pretty girls, and give them +ribbons, earrings, strings of beads,--more than they knew what to do +with. It is true that the pretty girls rather hesitated about +accepting his presents: God knows, perhaps they had passed through +unclean hands. My grandfather's aunt, who kept a tavern at the time, +in which Basavriuk (as they called that devil-man) often had his +carouses, said that no consideration on the face of the earth would +have induced her to accept a gift from him. And then, again, how avoid +accepting? Fear seized on every one when he knit his bristly brows, +and gave a sidelong glance which might send your feet, God knows +whither: but if you accept, then the next night some fiend from the +swamp, with horns on his head, comes to call, and begins to squeeze +your neck, when there is a string of beads upon it; or bite your +finger, if there is a ring upon it; or drag you by the hair, if +ribbons are braided in it. God have mercy, then, on those who owned +such gifts! But here was the difficulty: it was impossible to get rid +of them; if you threw them into the water, the diabolical ring or +necklace would skim along the surface, and into your hand. + +There was a church in the village,--St. Pantelei, if I remember +rightly. There lived there a priest, Father Athanasii of blessed +memory. Observing that Basavriuk did not come to Church, even on +Easter, he determined to reprove him, and impose penance upon him. +Well, he hardly escaped with his life. "Hark ye, pannotche!"[6] he +thundered in reply, "learn to mind your own business instead of +meddling in other people's, if you don't want that goat's throat of +yours stuck together with boiling kutya."[7] What was to be done with +this unrepentant man? Father Athanasii contented himself with +announcing that any one who should make the acquaintance of Basavriuk +would be counted a Catholic, an enemy of Christ's church, not a member +of the human race. + + [6] Sir. + + [7] A dish of rice or wheat flour, with honey and raisins, + which is brought to the church on the celebration of memorial + masses. + +In this village there was a Cossack named Korzh, who had a labourer +whom people called Peter the Orphan--perhaps because no one remembered +either his father or mother. The church starost,[8] it is true, said +that they had died of the pest in his second year; but my +grandfather's aunt would not hear to that, and tried with all her +might to furnish him with parents, although poor Peter needed them +about as much as we need last year's snow. She said that his father +had been in Zaporozhe, taken prisoner by the Turks, underwent God only +knows what tortures, and having, by some miracle, disguised himself as +a eunuch, had made his escape. Little cared the black-browed youths +and maidens about his parents. They merely remarked, that if he only +had a new coat, a red sash, a black lambskin cap, with dandified blue +crown, on his head, a Turkish sabre hanging by his side, a whip in one +hand and a pipe with handsome mountings in the other, he would surpass +all the young men. But the pity was, that the only thing poor Peter +had was a grey svitka with more holes in it than there are gold pieces +in a Jew's pocket. And that was not the worst of it, but this: that +Korzh had a daughter, such a beauty as I think you can hardly have +chanced to see. My deceased grandfather's aunt used to say--and you +know that it is easier for a woman to kiss the Evil One than to call +anybody a beauty, without malice be it said--that this Cossack +maiden's cheeks were as plump and fresh as the pinkest poppy when just +bathed in God's dew, and, glowing, it unfolds its petals, and coquets +with the rising sun; that her brows were like black cords, such as our +maidens buy nowadays, for their crosses and ducats, of the Moscow +pedlars who visit the villages with their baskets, and evenly arched +as though peeping into her clear eyes; that her little mouth, at sight +of which the youth smacked their lips, seemed made to emit the songs +of nightingales; that her hair, black as the raven's wing, and soft as +young flax (our maidens did not then plait their hair in clubs +interwoven with pretty, bright-hued ribbons), fell in curls over her +kuntush.[9] Eh! may I never intone another alleluia in the choir, if I +would not have kissed her, in spite of the grey which is making its +way all through the old wool which covers my pate, and my old woman +beside me, like a thorn in my side! Well, you know what happens when +young men and maids live side by side. In the twilight the heels of +red boots were always visible in the place where Pidorka chatted with +her Petrus. But Korzh would never have suspected anything out of the +way, only one day--it is evident that none but the Evil One could have +inspired him--Petrus took it into his head to kiss the Cossack +maiden's rosy lips with all his heart in the passage, without first +looking well about him; and that same Evil One--may the son of a dog +dream of the holy cross!--caused the old greybeard, like a fool, to +open the cottage-door at that same moment. Korzh was petrified, +dropped his jaw, and clutched at the door for support. Those unlucky +kisses had completely stunned him. It surprised him more than the blow +of a pestle on the wall, with which, in our days, the muzhik generally +drives out his intoxication for lack of fusees and powder. + + [8] Elder. + + [9] Upper garment in Little Russia. + +Recovering himself, he took his grandfather's hunting-whip from the +wall, and was about to belabour Peter's back with it, when Pidorka's +little six-year-old brother Ivas rushed up from somewhere or other, +and, grasping his father's legs with his little hands, screamed out, +"Daddy, daddy! don't beat Petrus!" What was to be done? A father's +heart is not made of stone. Hanging the whip again upon the wall, he +led him quietly from the house. "If you ever show yourself in my +cottage again, or even under the windows, look out, Petro! by Heaven, +your black moustache will disappear; and your black locks, though +wound twice about your ears, will take leave of your pate, or my name +is not Terentii Korzh." So saying, he gave him a little taste of his +fist in the nape of his neck, so that all grew dark before Petrus, and +he flew headlong. So there was an end of their kissing. Sorrow seized +upon our doves; and a rumour was rife in the village, that a certain +Pole, all embroidered with gold, with moustaches, sabre, spurs, and +pockets jingling like the bells of the bag with which our sacristan +Taras goes through the church every day, had begun to frequent Korzh's +house. Now, it is well known why the father is visited when there is a +black-browed daughter about. So, one day, Pidorka burst into tears, +and clutched the hand of her Ivas. "Ivas, my dear! Ivas, my love! fly +to Petrus, my child of gold, like an arrow from a bow. Tell him all: I +would have loved his brown eyes, I would have kissed his white face, +but my fate decrees not so. More than one towel have I wet with +burning tears. I am sad, I am heavy at heart. And my own father is my +enemy. I will not marry that Pole, whom I do not love. Tell him they +are preparing a wedding, but there will be no music at our wedding: +ecclesiastics will sing instead of pipes and kobzas.[10] I shall not +dance with my bridegroom: they will carry me out. Dark, dark will be +my dwelling,--of maple wood; and, instead of chimneys, a cross will +stand upon the roof." + + [10] Eight-stringed musical instrument. + +Petro stood petrified, without moving from the spot, when the innocent +child lisped out Pidorka's words to him. "And I, unhappy man, thought +to go to the Crimea and Turkey, win gold and return to thee, my +beauty! But it may not be. The evil eye has seen us. I will have a +wedding, too, dear little fish, I, too; but no ecclesiastics will be +at that wedding. The black crow will caw, instead of the pope, over +me; the smooth field will be my dwelling; the dark blue clouds my +roof-tree. The eagle will claw out my brown eyes: the rain will wash +the Cossack's bones, and the whirlwinds will dry them. But what am I? +Of whom, to whom, am I complaining? 'Tis plain, God willed it so. If I +am to be lost, then so be it!" and he went straight to the tavern. + +My late grandfather's aunt was somewhat surprised on seeing Petrus in +the tavern, and at an hour when good men go to morning mass; and she +stared at him as though in a dream, when he demanded a jug of brandy, +about half a pailful. But the poor fellow tried in vain to drown his +woe. The vodka stung his tongue like nettles, and tasted more bitter +than wormwood. He flung the jug from him upon the ground. "You have +sorrowed enough, Cossack," growled a bass voice behind him. He looked +round--Basavriuk! Ugh, what a face! His hair was like a brush, his +eyes like those of a bull. "I know what you lack: here it is." Then +he jingled a leather purse which hung from his girdle, and smiled +diabolically. Petro shuddered. "He, he, he! yes, how it shines!" he +roared, shaking out ducats into his hand: "he, he, he! and how it +jingles! And I only ask one thing for a whole pile of such +shiners."--"It is the Evil One!" exclaimed Petro:--"Give them here! I +am ready for anything!" They struck hands upon it. "See here, Petro, +you are ripe just in time: tomorrow is St. John the Baptist's day. +Only on this one night in the year does the fern blossom. Delay not. I +will await thee at midnight in the Bear's ravine." + +I do not believe that chickens await the hour when the woman brings +their corn, with as much anxiety as Petrus awaited the evening. And, +in fact, he looked to see whether the shadows of the trees were not +lengthening, if the sun were not turning red towards setting; and, the +longer he watched, the more impatient he grew. How long it was! +Evidently, God's day had lost its end somewhere. And now the sun is +gone. The sky is red only on one side, and it is already growing dark. +It grows colder in the fields. It gets dusky, and more dusky, and at +last quite dark. At last! With heart almost bursting from his bosom, +he set out on his way, and cautiously descended through the dense +woods into the deep hollow called the Bear's ravine. Basavriuk was +already waiting there. It was so dark, that you could not see a yard +before you. Hand in hand they penetrated the thin marsh, clinging to +the luxuriant thorn-bushes, and stumbling at almost every step. At +last they reached an open spot. Petro looked about him: he had never +chanced to come there before. Here Basavriuk halted. + +"Do you see, before you stand three hillocks? There are a great many +sorts of flowers upon them. But may some power keep you from plucking +even one of them. But as soon as the fern blossoms, seize it, and look +not round, no matter what may seem to be going on behind thee." + +Petro wanted to ask--and behold, he was no longer there. He approached +the three hillocks--where were the flowers? He saw nothing. The wild +steppe-grass darkled around, and stifled everything in its luxuriance. +But the lightning flashed; and before him stood a whole bed of +flowers, all wonderful, all strange: and there were also the simple +fronds of fern. Petro doubted his senses, and stood thoughtfully +before them, with both hands upon his sides. + +"What prodigy is this? one can see these weeds ten times in a day: +what marvel is there about them? was not devil's-face laughing at me?" + +Behold! the tiny flower-bud crimsons, and moves as though alive. It is +a marvel, in truth. It moves, and grows larger and larger, and flashes +like a burning coal. The tiny star flashes up, something bursts +softly, and the flower opens before his eyes like a flame, lighting +the others about it. "Now is the time," thought Petro, and extended +his hand. He sees hundreds of shaggy hands reach from behind him, also +for the flower; and there is a running about from place to place, in +the rear. He half shut his eyes, plucked sharply at the stalk, and the +flower remained in his hand. All became still. Upon a stump sat +Basavriuk, all blue like a corpse. He moved not so much as a finger. +His eyes were immovably fixed on something visible to him alone: his +mouth was half open and speechless. All about, nothing stirred. Ugh! +it was horrible!--But then a whistle was heard, which made Petro's +heart grow cold within him; and it seemed to him that the grass +whispered, and the flowers began to talk among themselves in delicate +voices, like little silver bells; the trees rustled in waving +contention;--Basavriuk's face suddenly became full of life and his +eyes sparkled. "The witch has just returned," he muttered between his +teeth. "See here, Petro: a beauty will stand before you in a moment; +do whatever she commands; if not--you are lost for ever." Then he +parted the thorn-bush with a knotty stick, and before him stood a tiny +izba, on chicken's legs, as they say. Basavriuk smote it with his +fist, and the wall trembled. A large black dog ran out to meet them, +and with a whine, transforming itself into a cat, flew straight at his +eyes. "Don't be angry, don't be angry, you old Satan!" said Basavriuk, +employing such words as would have made a good man stop his ears. +Behold, instead of a cat, an old woman with a face wrinkled like a +baked apple, and all bent into a bow: her nose and chin were like a +pair of nut-crackers. "A stunning beauty!" thought Petro; and cold +chills ran down his back. The witch tore the flower from his hand, +bent over, and muttered over it for a long time, sprinkling it with +some kind of water. Sparks flew from her mouth, froth appeared on her +lips. + +"Throw it away," she said, giving it back to Petro. + +Petro threw it, and what wonder was this? the flower did not fall +straight to the earth, but for a long while twinkled like a fiery ball +through the darkness, and swam through the air like a boat: at last it +began to sink lower, and fell so far away, that the little star, +hardly larger than a poppy-seed, was barely visible. "Here!" croaked +the old woman, in a dull voice: and Basavriuk, giving him a spade, +said, "Dig here, Petro: here you will find more gold than you or Korzh +ever dreamed of." + +Petro spat on his hands, seized the spade, applied his foot, and +turned up the earth, a second, a third, a fourth time.... There was +something hard: the spade clinked, and would go no farther. Then his +eyes began to distinguish a small, iron-bound coffer. He tried to +seize it; but the chest began to sink into the earth, deeper, farther, +and deeper still: and behind him he heard a laugh, more like a +serpent's hiss. "No, you shall not see the gold until you procure +human blood," said the witch, and led up to him a child of six, +covered with a white sheet, indicating by a sign that he was to cut +off his head. Petro was stunned. A trifle, indeed, to cut off a man's +or even an innocent child's head for no reason whatever! In wrath he +tore off the sheet enveloping his head, and behold! before him stood +Ivas. And the poor child crossed his little hands, and hung his +head.... Petro flew upon the witch with the knife like a madman, and +was on the point of laying hands on her.... + +"What did you promise for the girl?" ... thundered Basavriuk; and like +a shot he was on his back. The witch stamped her foot: a blue flame +flashed from the earth; it illumined it all inside, and it was as if +moulded of crystal; and all that was within the earth became visible, +as if in the palm of the hand. Ducats, precious stones in chests and +kettles, were piled in heaps beneath the very spot they stood on. His +eyes burned, ... his mind grew troubled.... He grasped the knife like +a madman, and the innocent blood spurted into his eyes. Diabolical +laughter resounded on all sides. Misshaped monsters flew past him in +herds. The witch, fastening her hands in the headless trunk, like a +wolf, drank its blood.... All went round in his head. Collecting all +his strength, he set out to run. Everything turned red before him. The +trees seemed steeped in blood, and burned and groaned. The sky glowed +and glowered.... Burning point, like lightning, flickered before his +eyes. Utterly exhausted, he rushed into his miserable hovel, and fell +to the ground like a log. A death-like sleep overpowered him. + +Two days and two nights did Petro sleep, without once awakening. When +he came to himself, on the third day, he looked long at all the +corners of his hut; but in vain did he endeavour to recollect; his +memory was like a miser's pocket, from which you cannot entice a +quarter of a kopek. Stretching himself, he heard something clash at +his feet. He looked--two bags of gold. Then only, as if in a dream, he +recollected that he had been seeking some treasure, that something had +frightened him in the woods.... But at what price he had obtained it, +and how, he could by no means understand. + +Korzh saw the sacks,--and was mollified. "Such a Petrus, quite unheard +of! yes, and did I not love him? Was he not to me as my own son?" And +the old fellow carried on his fiction until it reduced him to tears. +Pidorka began to tell him some passing gipsies had stolen Ivas; but +Petro could not even recall him--to such a degree had the Devil's +influence darkened his mind! There was no reason for delay. The Pole +was dismissed, and the wedding-feast prepared; rolls were baked, +towels and handkerchiefs embroidered; the young people were seated at +table; the wedding-loaf was cut; banduras, cymbals, pipes, kobzi, +sounded, and pleasure was rife.... + +A wedding in the olden times was not like one of the present day. My +grandfather's aunt used to tell--what doings!--how the maidens--in +festive head-dresses of yellow, blue, and pink ribbons, above which +they bound gold braid; in thin chemisettes embroidered on all the +seams with red silk, and strewn with tiny silver flowers; in morocco +shoes, with high iron heels--danced the gorlitza as swimmingly as +peacocks, and as wildly as the whirlwind; how the youths--with their +ship-shaped caps upon their heads, the crowns of gold brocade, with a +little slit at the nape where the hair-net peeped through, and two +horns projecting, one in front and another behind, of the very finest +black lambskin; in kuntushas of the finest blue silk with red +borders--stepped forward one by one, their arms akimbo in stately +form, and executed the gopak; how the lads--in tall Cossack caps, and +light cloth svitkas, girt with silver embroidered belts, their short +pipes in their teeth--skipped before them, and talked nonsense. Even +Korzh could not contain himself, as he gazed at the young people, from +getting gay in his old age. Bandura in hand, alternately puffing at +his pipe and singing, a brandy-glass upon his head, the greybeard +began the national dance amid loud shouts from the merry-makers. What +will not people devise in merry mood! They even began to disguise +their faces. They did not look like human beings. They are not to be +compared with the disguises which we have at our weddings nowadays. +What do they do now? Why, imitate gipsies and Moscow pedlars. No! then +one used to dress himself as a Jew, another as the Devil: they would +begin by kissing each other, and end by seizing each other by the +hair.... God be with them! you laughed till you held your sides. They +dressed themselves in Turkish and Tartar garments. All upon them +glowed like a conflagration ... and then they began to joke and play +pranks.... Well, then away with the saints! + +An amusing thing happened to my grandfather's aunt, who was at this +wedding. She was dressed in a voluminous Tartar robe, and, wineglass +in hand, was entertaining the company. The Evil One instigated one man +to pour vodka over her from behind. Another, at the same moment, +evidently not by accident, struck a light, and touched it to her; ... +the flame flashed up; poor aunt, in terror, flung her robe from her, +before them all.... Screams, laughter, jests, arose, as if at a fair. +In a word, the old folks could not recall so merry a wedding. + +Pidorka and Petrus began to live like a gentleman and lady. There was +plenty of everything, and everything was handsome.... But honest +people shook their heads when they looked at their way of living. +"From the Devil no good can come," they unanimously agreed. "Whence, +except from the tempter of orthodox people, came this wealth? Where +else could he get such a lot of gold? Why, on the very day that he got +rich, did Basavriuk vanish as if into thin air?" Say, if you can, that +people imagine things! In fact, a month had not passed, and no one +would have recognized Petrus. Why, what had happened to him? God +knows. He sits in one spot, and says no word to any one: he thinks +continually, and seems to be trying to recall something. When Pidorka +succeeds in getting him to speak, he seems to forget himself, carries +on a conversation, and even grows cheerful; but if he inadvertently +glances at the sacks, "Stop, stop! I have forgotten," he cries, and +again plunges into revery, and again strives to recall something. +Sometimes when he has sat long in a place, it seems to him as though +it were coming, just coming back to mind, ... and again all fades +away. It seems as if he is sitting in the tavern: they bring him +vodka; vodka stings him; vodka is repulsive to him. Some one comes +along, and strikes him on the shoulder; ... but beyond that everything +is veiled in darkness before him. The perspiration streams down his +face, and he sits exhausted in the same place. + +What did not Pidorka do? She consulted the sorceress; and they poured +out fear, and brewed stomach-ache,[11]--but all to no avail. And so +the summer passed. Many a Cossack had mowed and reaped: many a +Cossack, more enterprising than the rest, had set off upon an +expedition. Flocks of ducks were already crowding our marshes, but +there was not even a hint of improvement. + + [11] "To pour out fear," is done with us in case of fear; + when it is desired to know what caused it, melted lead or wax + is poured into water and the object whose form it assumes is + the one which frightened the sick person; after this, the + fear departs. _Sonvashnitza_ is brewed for giddiness, and + pain in the bowels. To this end, a bit of stump is burned, + thrown into a jug, and turned upside down into a bowl filled + with water, which is placed on the patient's stomach: after + an incantation, he is given a spoonful of this water to + drink. + +It was red upon the steppes. Ricks of grain, like Cossacks' caps, +dotted the fields here and there. On the highway were to be +encountered wagons loaded with brushwood and logs. The ground had +become more solid, and in places was touched with frost. Already had +the snow begun to besprinkle the sky, and the branches of the trees +were covered with rime like rabbit-skin. Already on frosty days the +red-breasted finch hopped about on the snow-heaps like a foppish +Polish nobleman, and picked out grains of corn; and children, with +huge sticks, chased wooden tops upon the ice; while their fathers lay +quietly on the stove, issuing forth at intervals with lighted pipes in +their lips, to growl, in regular fashion, at the orthodox frost, or to +take the air, and thresh the grain spread out in the barn. At last the +snow began to melt, and the ice rind slipped away: but Petro remained +the same; and, the longer it went on, the more morose he grew. He sat +in the middle of the cottage as though nailed to the spot, with the +sacks of gold at his feet. He grew shy, his hair grew long, he became +terrible; and still he thought of but one thing, still he tried to +recall something, and got angry and ill-tempered because he could not +recall it. Often, rising wildly from his seat, he gesticulates +violently, fixes his eyes on something as though desirous of catching +it: his lips move as though desirous of uttering some long-forgotten +word--and remain speechless. Fury takes possession of him: he gnaws +and bites his hands like a man half crazy, and in his vexation tears +out his hair by the handful, until, calming down, he falls into +forgetfulness, as it were, and again begins to recall, and is again +seized with fury and fresh tortures.... What visitation of God is +this? + +Pidorka was neither dead nor alive. At first it was horrible to her to +remain alone in the cottage; but, in course of time, the poor woman +grew accustomed to her sorrow. But it was impossible to recognize the +Pidorka of former days. No blush, no smile: she was thin and worn with +grief, and had wept her bright eyes away. Once, some one who evidently +took pity on her, advised her to go to the witch who dwelt in the +Bear's ravine, and enjoyed the reputation of being able to cure every +disease in the world. She determined to try this last remedy: word by +word she persuaded the old woman to come to her. This was St. John's +Eve, as it chanced. Petro lay insensible on the bench, and did not +observe the new-comer. Little by little he rose, and looked about him. +Suddenly he trembled in every limb, as though he were on the scaffold: +his hair rose upon his head, ... and he laughed such a laugh as +pierced Pidorka's heart with fear. "I have remembered, remembered!" +he cried in terrible joy; and, swinging a hatchet round his head, he +flung it at the old woman with all his might. The hatchet penetrated +the oaken door two vershok.[12] The old woman disappeared; and a child +of seven in a white blouse, with covered head, stood in the middle of +the cottage.... The sheet flew off. "Ivas!" cried Pidorka, and ran to +him; but the apparition became covered from head to foot with blood, +and illumined the whole room with red light.... She ran into the +passage in her terror, but, on recovering herself a little, wished to +help him; in vain! the door had slammed to behind her so securely that +she could not open it. People ran up, and began to knock: they broke +in the door, as though there were but one mind among them. The whole +cottage was full of smoke; and just in the middle, where Petrus had +stood, was a heap of ashes, from which smoke was still rising. They +flung themselves upon the sacks: only broken potsherds lay there +instead of ducats. The Cossacks stood with staring eyes and open +mouths, not daring to move a hair, as if rooted to the earth, such +terror did this wonder inspire in them. + + [12] Three inches and a half. + +I do not remember what happened next. Pidorka took a vow to go upon a +pilgrimage, collected the property left her by her father, and in a +few days it was as if she had never been in the village. Whither she +had gone, no one could tell. Officious old women would have dispatched +her to the same place whither Petro had gone; but a Cossack from Kiev +reported that he had seen, in a cloister, a nun withered to a mere +skeleton, who prayed unceasingly; and her fellow-villagers recognized +her as Pidorka, by all the signs,--that no one had ever heard her +utter a word; that she had come on foot, and had brought a frame for +the ikon of God's mother, set with such brilliant stones that all were +dazzled at the sight. + +But this was not the end, if you please. On the same day that the Evil +One made way with Petrus, Basavriuk appeared again; but all fled from +him. They knew what sort of a bird he was,--none else than Satan, who +had assumed human form in order to unearth treasures; and, since +treasures do not yield to unclean hands, he seduced the young. That +same year, all deserted their earth huts, and collected in a village; +but, even there, there was no peace, on account of that accursed +Basavriuk. My late grandfather's aunt said that he was particularly +angry with her, because she had abandoned her former tavern, and tried +with all his might to revenge himself upon her. Once the village +elders were assembled in the tavern, and, as the saying goes, were +arranging the precedence at the table, in the middle of which was +placed a small roasted lamb, shame to say. They chattered about this, +that, and the other,--among the rest about various marvels and strange +things. Well, they saw something; it would have been nothing if only +one had seen it, but all saw it; and it was this: the sheep raised his +head; his goggling eyes became alive and sparkled; and the black, +bristling moustache, which appeared for one instant, made a +significant gesture at those present. All, at once, recognized +Basavriuk's countenance in the sheep's head: my grandfather's aunt +thought it was on the point of asking for vodka.... The worthy elders +seized their hats, and hastened home. + +Another time, the church starost himself, who was fond of an +occasional private interview with my grandfather's brandy-glass, had +not succeeded in getting to the bottom twice, when he beheld the glass +bowing very low to him. "Satan take you, let us make the sign of the +cross over you!" ... And the same marvel happened to his better half. +She had just begun to mix the dough in a huge kneading-trough, when +suddenly the trough sprang up. "Stop, stop! where are you going?" +Putting its arms akimbo, with dignity, it went skipping all about the +cottage.... You may laugh, but it was no laughing-matter to your +grandfathers. And in vain did Father Athanasii go through all the +village with holy water, and chase the Devil through the streets with +his brush; and my late grandfather's aunt long complained, that, as +soon as it was dark, some one came knocking at her door, and +scratching at the wall. + +Well! All appears to be quiet now, in the place where our village +stands; but it was not so very long ago--my father was still +alive--that I remember how a good man could not pass the ruined +tavern, which a dishonest race had long managed for their own +interest. From the smoke-blackened chimneys, smoke poured out in a +pillar, and rising high in the air, as if to take an observation, +rolled off like a cap, scattering burning coals over the steppe; and +Satan (the son of a dog should not be mentioned) sobbed so pitifully +in his lair, that the startled ravens rose in flocks from the +neighbouring oak-wood, and flew through the air with wild cries. + + + + +THE DEVIL'S WAGER + +BY WILLIAM MAKEPEACE THACKERAY + + +It was the hour of the night when there be none stirring save +church-yard ghosts--when all doors are closed except the gates of +graves, and all eyes shut but the eyes of wicked men. + +When there is no sound on the earth except the ticking of the +grasshopper, or the croaking of obscene frogs in the pool. + +And no light except that of the blinking stars, and the wicked and +devilish wills-o'-the-wisp, as they gambol among the marshes, and lead +good men astray. + +When there is nothing moving in heaven except the owl, as he flappeth +along lazily; or the magician, as he rideth on his infernal +broomstick, whistling through the air like the arrows of a Yorkshire +archer. + +It was at this hour (namely, at twelve o'clock of the night,) that two +beings went winging through the black clouds, and holding converse +with each other. + +Now the first was Mercurius, the messenger, not of gods (as the +heathens feigned), but of demons; and the second, with whom he held +company, was the soul of Sir Roger de Rollo, the brave knight. Sir +Roger was Count of Chauchigny, in Champagne; Seigneur of Santerre, +Villacerf and autre lieux. But the great die as well as the humble; +and nothing remained of brave Roger now, but his coffin and his +deathless soul. + +And Mercurius, in order to keep fast the soul, his companion, had +bound him round the neck with his tail; which, when the soul was +stubborn, he would draw so tight as to strangle him wellnigh, sticking +into him the barbed point thereof; whereat the poor soul, Sir Rollo, +would groan and roar lustily. + +Now they two had come together from the gates of purgatory, being +bound to those regions of fire and flame where poor sinners fry and +roast in saecula saeculorum. + +"It is hard," said the poor Sir Rollo, as they went gliding through +the clouds, "that I should thus be condemned for ever, and all for +want of a single ave." + +"How, Sir Soul?" said the demon. "You were on earth so wicked, that +not one, or a million of aves, could suffice to keep from hell-flame a +creature like thee; but cheer up and be merry; thou wilt be but a +subject of our lord the Devil, as am I; and, perhaps, thou wilt be +advanced to posts of honour, as am I also:" and to show his authority, +he lashed with his tail the ribs of the wretched Rollo. + +"Nevertheless, sinner as I am, one more ave would have saved me; for +my sister, who was Abbess of St. Mary of Chauchigny, did so prevail, +by her prayer and good works, for my lost and wretched soul, that +every day I felt the pains of purgatory decrease; the pitchforks +which, on my first entry, had never ceased to vex and torment my poor +carcass, were now not applied above once a week; the roasting had +ceased, the boiling had discontinued; only a certain warmth was kept +up, to remind me of my situation." + +"A gentle stew," said the demon. + +"Yea, truly, I was but in a stew, and all from the effects of the +prayers of my blessed sister. But yesterday, he who watched me in +purgatory told me, that yet another prayer from my sister, and my +bonds should be unloosed, and I, who am now a devil, should have been +a blessed angel." + +"And the other ave?" said the demon. + +"She died, sir--my sister died--death choked her in the middle of the +prayer." And hereat the wretched spirit began to weep and whine +piteously; his salt tears falling over his beard, and scalding the +tail of Mercurius the devil. + +"It is, in truth, a hard case," said the demon; "but I know of no +remedy save patience, and for that you will have an excellent +opportunity in your lodgings below." + +"But I have relations," said the Earl; "my kinsman Randal, who has +inherited my lands, will he not say a prayer for his uncle?" + +"Thou didst hate and oppress him when living." + +"It is true; but an ave is not much; his sister, my niece, Matilda--" + +"You shut her in a convent, and hanged her lover." + +"Had I not reason? besides, has she not others?" + +"A dozen, without a doubt." + +"And my brother, the prior?" + +"A liege subject of my lord the Devil: he never opens his mouth, +except to utter an oath, or to swallow a cup of wine." + +"And yet, if but one of these would but say an ave for me, I should be +saved." + +"Aves with them are _rarae_ aves," replied Mercurius, wagging his tail +right waggishly; "and, what is more, I will lay thee any wager that no +one of these will say a prayer to save thee." + +"I would wager willingly," responded he of Chauchigny; "but what has a +poor soul like me to stake?" + +"Every evening, after the day's roasting, my lord Satan giveth a cup +of cold water to his servants; I will bet thee thy water for a year, +that none of the three will pray for thee." + +"Done!" said Rollo. + +"Done!" said the demon; "and here, if I mistake not, is thy castle of +Chauchigny." + +Indeed, it was true. The soul, on looking down, perceived the tall +towers, the courts, the stables, and the fair gardens of the castle. +Although it was past midnight, there was a blaze of light in the +banqueting-hall, and a lamp burning in the open window of the Lady +Matilda. + +"With whom shall we begin?" said the demon: "with the baron or the +lady?" + +"With the lady, if you will." + +"Be it so; her window is open, let us enter." + +So they descended, and entered silently into Matilda's chamber. + + * * * * * + +The young lady's eyes were fixed so intently on a little clock, that +it was no wonder that she did not perceive the entrance of her two +visitors. Her fair cheek rested in her white arm, and her white arm +on the cushion of a great chair in which she sat, pleasantly supported +by sweet thoughts and swan's down; a lute was at her side, and a book +of prayers lay under the table (for piety is always modest). Like the +amorous Alexander, she sighed and looked (at the clock)--and sighed +for ten minutes or more, when she softly breathed the word "Edward!" + +At this the soul of the Baron was wroth. "The jade is at her old +pranks," said he to the devil; and then addressing Matilda: "I pray +thee, sweet niece, turn thy thoughts for a moment from that villainous +page, Edward, and give them to thine affectionate uncle." + +When she heard the voice, and saw the awful apparition of her uncle +(for a year's sojourn in purgatory had not increased the comeliness of +his appearance), she started, screamed, and of course fainted. + +But the devil Mercurius soon restored her to herself. "What's +o'clock?" said she, as soon as she had recovered from her fit: "is he +come?" + +"Not thy lover, Maude, but thine uncle--that is, his soul. For the +love of heaven, listen to me: I have been frying in purgatory for a +year past, and should have been in heaven but for the want of a single +ave." + +"I will say it for thee tomorrow, uncle." + +"Tonight, or never." + +"Well, tonight be it:" and she requested the devil Mercurius to give +her the prayer-book, from under the table; but he had no sooner +touched the holy book than he dropped it with a shriek and a yell. "It +was hotter," he said, "than his master Sir Lucifer's own particular +pitchfork." And the lady was forced to begin her ave without the aid +of her missal. + +At the commencement of her devotions the demon retired, and carried +with him the anxious soul of poor Sir Roger de Rollo. + +The lady knelt down--she sighed deeply; she looked again at the clock, +and began-- + +"Ave Maria." + +When a lute was heard under the window, and a sweet voice singing-- + +"Hark!" said Matilda. + + "Now the toils of day are over, + And the sun hath sunk to rest, + Seeking, like a fiery lover, + The bosom of the blushing west-- + + "The faithful night keeps watch and ward, + Raising the moon, her silver shield, + And summoning the stars to guard + The slumbers of my fair Mathilde!" + +"For mercy's sake!" said Sir Rollo, "the ave first, and next the +song." + +So Matilda again dutifully betook her to her devotions, and began-- + +"Ave Maria gratia plena!" but the music began again, and the prayer +ceased of course. + + "The faithful night! Now all things lie + Hid by her mantle dark and dim, + In pious hope I hither hie, + And humbly chant mine ev'ning hymn. + + "Thou art my prayer, my saint, my shrine! + (For never holy pilgrim kneel'd, + Or wept at feet more pure than thine), + My virgin love, my sweet Mathilde!" + +"Virgin love!" said the Baron. "Upon my soul, this is too bad!" and he +thought of the lady's lover whom he had caused to be hanged. + +But _she_ only thought of him who stood singing at her window. + +"Niece Matilda!" cried Sir Roger, agonizedly, "wilt thou listen to the +lies of an impudent page, whilst thine uncle is waiting but a dozen +words to make him happy?" + +At this Matilda grew angry: "Edward is neither impudent nor a liar, +Sir Uncle, and I will listen to the end of the song." + +"Come away," said Mercurius; "he hath yet got wield, field, sealed, +congealed, and a dozen other rhymes beside; and after the song will +come the supper." + +So the poor soul was obliged to go; while the lady listened, and the +page sung away till morning. + + * * * * * + +"My virtues have been my ruin," said poor Sir Rollo, as he and +Mercurius slunk silently out of the window. "Had I hanged that knave +Edward, as I did the page his predecessor, my niece would have sung +mine ave, and I should have been by this time an angel in heaven." + +"He is reserved for wiser purposes," responded the devil: "he will +assassinate your successor, the lady Mathilde's brother; and, in +consequence, will be hanged. In the love of the lady he will be +succeeded by a gardener, who will be replaced by a monk, who will +give way to an ostler, who will be deposed by a Jew pedlar, who shall, +finally, yield to a noble earl, the future husband of the fair +Mathilde. So that, you see, instead of having one poor soul a-frying, +we may now look forward to a goodly harvest for our lord the Devil." + +The soul of the Baron began to think that his companion knew too much +for one who would make fair bets; but there was no help for it; he +would not, and he could not cry off: and he prayed inwardly that the +brother might be found more pious than the sister. + +But there seemed little chance of this. As they crossed the court, +lackeys, with smoking dishes and full jugs, passed and repassed +continually, although it was long past midnight. On entering the hall, +they found Sir Randal at the head of a vast table, surrounded by a +fiercer and more motley collection of individuals than had congregated +there even in the time of Sir Rollo. The lord of the castle had +signified that "it was his royal pleasure to be drunk," and the +gentlemen of his train had obsequiously followed their master. +Mercurius was delighted with the scene, and relaxed his usually rigid +countenance into a bland and benevolent smile, which became him +wonderfully. + +The entrance of Sir Roger, who had been dead about a year, and a +person with hoofs, horns, and a tail, rather disturbed the hilarity of +the company. Sir Randal dropped his cup of wine; and Father Peter, the +confessor, incontinently paused in the midst of a profane song, with +which he was amusing the society. + +"Holy Mother!" cried he, "it is Sir Roger." + +"Alive!" screamed Sir Randal. + +"No, my lord," Mercurius said; "Sir Roger is dead, but cometh on a +matter of business; and I have the honour to act as his counsellor and +attendant." + +"Nephew," said Sir Roger, "the demon saith justly; I am come on a +trifling affair, in which thy service is essential." + +"I will do anything, uncle, in my power." + +"Thou canst give me life, if thou wilt?" But Sir Randal looked very +blank at this proposition. "I mean life spiritual, Randal," said Sir +Roger; and thereupon he explained to him the nature of the wager. + +Whilst he was telling his story, his companion Mercurius was playing +all sorts of antics in the hall; and, by his wit and fun, became so +popular with this godless crew, that they lost all the fear which his +first appearance had given them. The friar was wonderfully taken with +him, and used his utmost eloquence and endeavours to convert the +devil; the knights stopped drinking to listen to the argument; the +men-at-arms forbore brawling; and the wicked little pages crowded +round the two strange disputants, to hear their edifying discourse. +The ghostly man, however, had little chance in the controversy, and +certainly little learning to carry it on. Sir Randal interrupted him. +"Father Peter," said he, "our kinsman is condemned for ever, for want +of a single ave: wilt thou say it for him?" "Willingly, my lord," said +the monk, "with my book;" and accordingly he produced his missal to +read, without which aid it appeared that the holy father could not +manage the desired prayer. But the crafty Mercurius had, by his +devilish art, inserted a song in the place of the ave, so that Father +Peter, instead of chanting an hymn, sang the following irreverent +ditty:-- + + "Some love the matin-chimes, which tell + The hour of prayer to sinner: + But better far's the mid-day bell, + Which speaks the hour of dinner; + For when I see a smoking fish, + Or capon drowned in gravy, + Or noble haunch on silver dish, + Full glad I sing mine ave. + + "My pulpit is an ale-house bench, + Whereon I sit so jolly; + A smiling rosy country wench + My saint and patron holy. + I kiss her cheek so red and sleek, + I press her ringlets wavy. + And in her willing ear I speak + A most religious ave. + + "And if I'm blind, yet heaven is kind, + And holy saints forgiving; + For sure he leads a right good life + Who thus admires good living. + Above, they say, our flesh is air, + Our blood celestial ichor: + Oh, grant! mid all the changes there, + They may not change our liquor!" + +And with this pious wish the holy confessor tumbled under the table in +an agony of devout drunkenness; whilst the knights, the men-at-arms, +and the wicked little pages, rang out the last verse with a most +melodious and emphatic glee. "I am sorry, fair uncle," hiccupped Sir +Randal, "that, in the matter of the ave, we could not oblige thee in a +more orthodox manner; but the holy father has failed, and there is not +another man in the hall who hath an idea of a prayer." + +"It is my own fault," said Sir Rollo; "for I hanged the last +confessor." And he wished his nephew a surly goodnight, as he prepared +to quit the room. + +"Au revoir, gentlemen," said the devil Mercurius; and once more fixed +his tail round the neck of his disappointed companion. + +The spirit of poor Rollo was sadly cast down; the devil, on the +contrary, was in high good humour. He wagged his tail with the most +satisfied air in the world, and cut a hundred jokes at the expense of +his poor associate. On they sped, cleaving swiftly through the cold +night winds, frightening the birds that were roosting in the woods, +and the owls that were watching in the towers. + +In the twinkling of an eye, as it is known, devils can fly hundreds of +miles: so that almost the same beat of the clock which left these two +in Champagne found them hovering over Paris. They dropped into the +court of the Lazarist Convent, and winded their way, through passage +and cloister, until they reached the door of the prior's cell. + +Now the prior, Rollo's brother, was a wicked and malignant sorcerer; +his time was spent in conjuring devils and doing wicked deeds, instead +of fasting, scourging, and singing holy psalms: this Mercurius knew; +and he, therefore, was fully at ease as to the final result of his +wager with poor Sir Roger. + +"You seem to be well acquainted with the road," said the knight. + +"I have reason," answered Mercurius, "having, for a long period, had +the acquaintance of his reverence, your brother; but you have little +chance with him." + +"And why?" said Sir Rollo. + +"He is under a bond to my master, never to say a prayer, or else his +soul and his body are forfeited at once." + +"Why, thou false and traitorous devil!" said the enraged knight; "and +thou knewest this when we made our wager?" + +"Undoubtedly: do you suppose I would have done so had there been any +chance of losing?" + +And with this they arrived at Father Ignatius's door. + +"Thy cursed presence threw a spell on my niece, and stopped the tongue +of my nephew's chaplain; I do believe that had I seen either of them +alone, my wager had been won." + +"Certainly; therefore, I took good care to go with thee; however, thou +mayest see the prior alone, if thou wilt; and lo! his door is open. I +will stand without for five minutes when it will be time to commence +our journey." + +It was the poor Baron's last chance: and he entered his brother's room +more for the five minutes' respite than from any hope of success. + +Father Ignatius, the prior, was absorbed in magic calculations: he +stood in the middle of a circle of skulls, with no garment except his +long white beard, which reached to his knees; he was waving a silver +rod, and muttering imprecations in some horrible tongue. + +But Sir Rollo came forward and interrupted his incantation. "I am," +said he, "the shade of thy brother Roger de Rollo; and have come, from +pure brotherly love, to warn thee of thy fate." + +"Whence camest thou?" + +"From the abode of the blessed in Paradise," replied Sir Roger, who +was inspired with a sudden thought; "it was but five minutes ago that +the Patron Saint of thy church told me of thy danger, and of thy +wicked compact with the fiend. 'Go,' said he, 'to thy miserable +brother, and tell him there is but one way by which he may escape from +paying the awful forfeit of his bond.'" + +"And how may that be?" said the prior; "the false fiend hath deceived +me; I have given him my soul, but have received no worldly benefit in +return. Brother! dear brother! how may I escape?" + +"I will tell thee. As soon as I heard the voice of blessed St. Mary +Lazarus" (the worthy Earl had, at a pinch, coined the name of a +saint), "I left the clouds, where, with other angels, I was seated, +and sped hither to save thee. 'Thy brother,' said the Saint, 'hath but +one day more to live, when he will become for all eternity the subject +of Satan; if he would escape, he must boldly break his bond, by saying +an ave.'" + +"It is the express condition of the agreement," said the unhappy monk, +"I must say no prayer, or that instant I become Satan's, body and +soul." + +"It is the express condition of the Saint," answered Roger, fiercely; +"pray, brother, pray, or thou art lost for ever." + +So the foolish monk knelt down, and devoutly sung out an ave. "Amen!" +said Sir Roger, devoutly. + +"Amen!" said Mercurius, as, suddenly, coming behind, he seized +Ignatius by his long beard, and flew up with him to the top of the +church-steeple. + +The monk roared, and screamed, and swore against his brother; but it +was of no avail: Sir Roger smiled kindly on him, and said, "Do not +fret, brother; it must have come to this in a year or two." + +And he flew alongside of Mercurius to the steeple-top: _but this time +the devil had not his tail round his neck_. "I will let thee off thy +bet," said he to the demon; for he could afford, now, to be generous. + +"I believe, my lord," said the demon, politely, "that our ways +separate here." Sir Roger sailed gaily upwards: while Mercurius having +bound the miserable monk faster than ever, he sunk downwards to earth, +and perhaps lower. Ignatius was heard roaring and screaming as the +devil dashed him against the iron spikes and buttresses of the +church. + + + + +THE PAINTER'S BARGAIN + +BY WILLIAM MAKEPEACE THACKERAY + + +Simon Gambouge was the son of Solomon Gambouge; and as all the world +knows, both father and son were astonishingly clever fellows at their +profession. Solomon painted landscapes, which nobody bought; and Simon +took a higher line, and painted portraits to admiration, only nobody +came to sit to him. + +As he was not gaining five pounds a year by his profession, and had +arrived at the age of twenty, at least, Simon determined to better +himself by taking a wife,--a plan which a number of other wise men +adopt, in similar years and circumstances. So Simon prevailed upon a +butcher's daughter (to whom he owed considerable for cutlets) to quit +the meat-shop and follow him. Griskinissa--such was the fair +creature's name--"was as lovely a bit of mutton," her father said, "as +ever a man would wish to stick a knife into." She had sat to the +painter for all sorts of characters; and the curious who possess any +of Gambouge's pictures will see her as Venus, Minerva, Madonna, and in +numberless other characters: Portrait of a lady--Griskinissa; Sleeping +Nymph--Griskinissa, without a rag of clothes, lying in a forest; +Maternal Solicitude--Griskinissa again, with young Master Gambouge, +who was by this time the offspring of their affections. + +The lady brought the painter a handsome little fortune of a couple of +hundred pounds; and as long as this sum lasted no woman could be more +lovely or loving. But want began speedily to attack their little +household; baker's bills were unpaid; rent was due, and the reckless +landlord gave no quarter; and, to crown the whole, her father, +unnatural butcher! suddenly stopped the supplies of mutton-chops; and +swore that his daughter, and the dauber, her husband, should have no +more of his wares. At first they embraced tenderly, and, kissing and +crying over their little infant, vowed to heaven that they would do +without: but in the course of the evening Griskinissa grew peckish, +and poor Simon pawned his best coat. + +When this habit of pawning is discovered, it appears to the poor a +kind of Eldorado. Gambouge and his wife were so delighted, that they, +in course of a month, made away with her gold chain, her great +warming-pan, his best crimson plush inexpressibles, two wigs, a +washhand basin and ewer, fire-irons, window-curtains, crockery, and +arm-chairs. Griskinissa said, smiling, that she had found a second +father in _her uncle_,--a base pun, which showed that her mind was +corrupted, and that she was no longer the tender, simple Griskinissa +of other days. + +I am sorry to say that she had taken to drinking; she swallowed the +warming-pan in the course of three days, and fuddled herself one whole +evening with the crimson plush breeches. + +Drinking is the devil--the father, that is to say, of all vices. +Griskinissa's face and her mind grew ugly together; her good humour +changed to bilious, bitter discontent; her pretty, fond epithets, to +foul abuse and swearing; her tender blue eyes grew watery and blear, +and the peach-colour on her cheeks fled from its old habitation, and +crowded up into her nose, where, with a number of pimples, it stuck +fast. Add to this a dirty, draggle-tailed chintz; long, matted hair, +wandering into her eyes, and over her lean shoulders, which were once +so snowy, and you have the picture of drunkenness and Mrs. Simon +Gambouge. + +Poor Simon, who had been a gay, lively fellow enough in the days of +his better fortune, was completely cast down by his present ill luck, +and cowed by the ferocity of his wife. From morning till night the +neighbours could hear this woman's tongue, and understand her doings; +bellows went skimming across the room, chairs were flumped down on the +floor, and poor Gambouge's oil and varnish pots went clattering +through the windows, or down the stairs. The baby roared all day; and +Simon sat pale and idle in a corner, taking a small sup at the +brandy-bottle, when Mrs. Gambouge was out of the way. + +One day, as he sat disconsolately at his easel, furbishing up a +picture of his wife, in the character of Peace, which he had commenced +a year before, he was more than ordinarily desperate, and cursed and +swore in the most pathetic manner. "O miserable fate of genius!" cried +he, "was I, a man of such commanding talents, born for this? to be +bullied by a fiend of a wife; to have my masterpieces neglected by the +world, or sold only for a few pieces? Cursed be the love which has +misled me; cursed be the art which is unworthy of me! Let me dig or +steal, let me sell myself as a soldier, or sell myself to the Devil, +I should not be more wretched than I am now!" + +"Quite the contrary," cried a small, cheery voice. + +"What!" exclaimed Gambouge, trembling and surprised. "Who's +there?--where are you?--who are you?" + +"You were just speaking of me," said the voice. + +Gambouge held, in his left hand, his palette; in his right, a bladder +of crimson lake, which he was about to squeeze out upon the mahogany. +"Where are you?" cried he again. + +"S-q-u-e-e-z-e!" exclaimed the little voice. + +Gambouge picked out the nail from the bladder, and gave a squeeze; +when, as sure as I'm living, a little imp spurted out from the hole +upon the palette, and began laughing in the most singular and oily +manner. + +When first born he was little bigger than a tadpole; then he grew to +be as big as a mouse; then he arrived at the size of a cat; and then +he jumped off the palette, and, turning head over heels, asked the +poor painter what he wanted with him. + + * * * * * + +The strange little animal twisted head over heels, and fixed himself +at last upon the top of Gambouge's easel,--smearing out, with his +heels, all the white and vermilion which had just been laid on the +allegoric portrait of Mrs. Gambouge. + +"What!" exclaimed Simon, "is it the--" + +"Exactly so; talk of me, you know, and I am always at hand: besides, I +am not half so black as I am painted, as you will see when you know me +a little better." + +"Upon my word," said the painter, "it is a very singular surprise +which you have given me. To tell truth, I did not even believe in your +existence." + +The little imp put on a theatrical air, and with one of Mr. Macready's +best looks, said,-- + + "There are more things in heaven and earth, Gambogio, + Than are dreamed of in your philosophy." + +Gambouge, being a Frenchman, did not understand the quotation, but +felt somehow strangely and singularly interested in the conversation +of his new friend. + +Diabolus continued: "You are a man of merit, and want money; you will +starve on your merit; you can only get money from me. Come, my friend, +how much is it? I ask the easiest interest in the world: old Mordecai, +the usurer, has made you pay twice as heavily before now: nothing but +the signature of a bond, which is a mere ceremony, and the transfer of +an article which, in itself, is a supposition--a valueless, windy, +uncertain property of yours, called by some poet of your own, I think, +an _animula_, _vagula_, _blandula_--bah! there is no use beating about +the bush--I mean _a soul_. Come, let me have it; you know you will +sell it some other way, and not get such good pay for your +bargain!"--and, having made this speech, the Devil pulled out from his +fob a sheet as big as a double _Times_, only there was a different +_stamp_ in the corner. + +It is useless and tedious to describe law documents: lawyers only love +to read them; and they have as good in Chitty as any that are to be +found in the Devil's own; so nobly have the apprentices emulated the +skill of the master. Suffice it to say, that poor Gambouge read over +the paper, and signed it. He was to have all he wished for seven +years, and at the end of that time was to become the property of +the--; =provided= that during the course of the seven years, every +single wish which he might form should be gratified by the other of +the contracting parties; otherwise the deed became null and nonavenue, +and Gambouge should be left "to go to the--his own way." + +"You will never see me again," said Diabolus, in shaking hands with +poor Simon, on whose fingers he left such a mark as is to be seen at +this day--"never, at least, unless you want me; for everything you ask +will be performed in the most quiet and every-day manner: believe me, +it is the best and most gentlemanlike, and avoids anything like +scandal. But if you set me about anything which is extraordinary, and +out of the course of nature, as it were, come I must, you know; and of +this you are the best judge." So saying, Diabolus disappeared; but +whether up the chimney, through the keyhole, or by any other aperture +or contrivance, nobody knows. Simon Gambouge was left in a fever of +delight, as, heaven forgive me! I believe many a worthy man would be, +if he were allowed an opportunity to make a similar bargain. + +"Heigho!" said Simon. "I wonder whether this be a reality or a +dream.--I am sober, I know; for who will give me credit for the means +to be drunk? and as for sleeping, I'm too hungry for that. I wish I +could see a capon and a bottle of white wine." + +"MONSIEUR SIMON!" cried a voice on the landing-place. + +"C'est ici," quoth Gambouge, hastening to open the door. He did so; +and lo! there was a _restaurateur's_ boy at the door, supporting a +tray, a tin-covered dish, and plates on the same; and, by its side, a +tall amber-coloured flask of Sauterne. + +"I am the new boy, sir," exclaimed this youth, on entering; "but I +believe this is the right door, and you asked for these things." + +Simon grinned, and said, "Certainly, I did _ask for_ these things." +But such was the effect which his interview with the demon had had on +his innocent mind, that he took them, although he knew they were for +old Simon, the Jew dandy, who was mad after an opera girl, and lived +on the floor beneath. + +"Go, my boy," he said; "it is good: call in a couple of hours, and +remove the plates and glasses." + +The little waiter trotted down stairs, and Simon sat greedily down to +discuss the capon and the white wine. He bolted the legs, he devoured +the wings, he cut every morsel of flesh from the breast;--seasoning +his repast with pleasant draughts of wine, and caring nothing for the +inevitable bill which was to follow all. + +"Ye gods!" said he, as he scraped away at the back-bone, "what a +dinner! what wine!--and how gaily served up too!" There were silver +forks and spoons, and the remnants of the fowl were upon a silver +dish. "Why the money for this dish and these spoons," cried Simon, +"would keep me and Mrs. G. for a month! I WISH"--and here Simon +whistled, and turned round to see that no one was peeping--"I wish +the plate were mine." + +Oh, the horrid progress of the Devil! "Here they are," thought Simon +to himself; "why should not I _take them_?" and take them he did. +"Detection," said he, "is not so bad as starvation; and I would as +soon live at the galleys as live with Madame Gambouge." + +So Gambouge shovelled dish and spoons into the flap of his surtout, +and ran down stairs as if the Devil were behind him--as, indeed, he +was. + +He immediately made for the house of his old friend the +pawnbroker--that establishment which is called in France the Mont de +Piete. "I am obliged to come to you again, my old friend," said Simon, +"with some family plate, of which I beseech you to take care." + +The pawnbroker smiled as he examined the goods. "I can give you +nothing upon them," said he. + +"What!" cried Simon; "not even the worth of the silver?" + +"No; I could buy them at that price at the 'Cafe Morisot,' Rue de la +Verrerie, where, I suppose, you got them a little cheaper." And, so +saying, he showed to the guilt-stricken Gambouge how the name of that +coffee-house was inscribed upon every one of the articles which he +wished to pawn. + +The effects of conscience are dreadful indeed. Oh! how fearful is +retribution, how deep is despair, how bitter is remorse for +crime--_when crime is found out!_--otherwise, conscience takes matters +much more easily. Gambouge cursed his fate, and swore henceforth to be +virtuous. + +"But, hark ye, my friend," continued the honest broker, "there is no +reason why, because I cannot lend upon these things, I should not buy +them: they will do to melt, if for no other purpose. Will you have +half the money?--speak, or I peach." + +Simon's resolves about virtue were dissipated instantaneously. "Give +me half," he said, "and let me go.--What scoundrels are these +pawnbrokers!" ejaculated he, as he passed out of the accursed shop, +"seeking every wicked pretext to rob the poor man of his hard-won +gain." + +When he had marched forwards for a street or two, Gambouge counted the +money which he had received, and found that he was in possession of no +less than a hundred francs. It was night, as he reckoned out his +equivocal gains, and he counted them at the light of a lamp. He looked +up at the lamp, in doubt as to the course he should next pursue: upon +it was inscribed the simple number, 152. "A gambling-house," thought +Gambouge. "I WISH I had half the money that is now on the table, up +stairs." + +He mounted, as many a rogue has done before him, and found half a +hundred persons busy at a table of _rouge et noir_. Gambouge's five +napoleons looked insignificant by the side of the heaps which were +around him; but the effects of the wine, of the theft, and of the +detection by the pawnbroker, were upon him, and he threw down his +capital stoutly upon the 0 0. + +It is a dangerous spot that 0 0, or double zero; but to Simon it was +more lucky than to the rest of the world. The ball went spinning +round--in "its predestined circle rolled," as Shelley has it, after +Goethe--and plumped down at last in the double zero. One hundred and +thirty-five gold napoleons (louis they were then) were counted out to +the delighted painter. "Oh, Diabolus!" cried he, "now it is that I +begin to believe in thee! Don't talk about merit," he cried; "talk +about fortune. Tell me not about heroes for the future--tell me of +_zeroes_." And down went twenty napoleons more upon the 0. + +The Devil was certainly in the ball: round it twirled, and dropped +into zero as naturally as a duck pops its head into a pond. Our friend +received five hundred pounds for his stake; and the croupiers and +lookers-on began to stare at him. + +There were twelve thousand pounds upon the table. Suffice it to say, +that Simon won half, and retired from the Palais Royal with a thick +bundle of bank-notes crammed into his dirty three-cornered hat. He had +been but half an hour in the place, and he had won the revenues of a +prince for half a year! + +Gambouge, as soon as he felt that he was a capitalist, and that he had +a stake in the country, discovered that he was an altered man. He +repented of his foul deed, and his base purloining of the +_restaurateur's_ plate. "O honesty!" he cried, "how unworthy is an +action like this of a man who has a property like mine!" So he went +back to the pawnbroker with the gloomiest face imaginable. "My +friend," said he, "I have sinned against all that I hold most sacred: +I have forgotten my family and my religion. Here is thy money. In the +name of heaven, restore me the plate which I have wrongfully sold +thee!" + +But the pawnbroker grinned, and said, "Nay, Mr. Gambouge, I will sell +that plate for a thousand francs to you, or I will never sell it at +all." + +"Well," cried Gambouge, "thou art an inexorable ruffian, Troisboules; +but I will give thee all I am worth." And here he produced a billet of +five hundred francs. "Look," said he, "this money is all I own; it is +the payment of two years' lodging. To raise it, I have toiled for many +months; and, failing, I have been a criminal. O heaven! I _stole_ that +plate that I might pay my debt, and keep my dear wife from wandering +houseless. But I cannot bear this load of ignominy--I cannot suffer +the thought of this crime. I will go to the person to whom I did +wrong. I will starve, I will confess; but I will, I _will_ do right!" + +The broker was alarmed. "Give me thy note," he cried; "here is the +plate." + +"Give me an acquittal first," cried Simon, almost broken-hearted; +"sign me a paper, and the money is yours." So Troisboules wrote +according to Gambouge's dictation: "Received, for thirteen ounces of +plate, twenty pounds." + +"Monster of iniquity!" cried the painter, "fiend of wickedness! thou +art caught in thine own snares. Hast thou not sold me five pounds' +worth of plate for twenty? Have I it not in my pocket? Art thou not a +convicted dealer in stolen goods? Yield, scoundrel, yield thy money, +or I will bring thee to justice!" + +The frightened pawnbroker bullied and battled for a while; but he gave +up his money at last, and the dispute ended. Thus it will be seen that +Diabolus had rather a hard bargain in the wily Gambouge. He had taken +a victim prisoner, but he had assuredly caught a Tartar. Simon now +returned home, and, to do him justice, paid the bill for his dinner, +and restored the plate. + + * * * * * + +And now I may add (and the reader should ponder upon this, as a +profound picture of human life), that Gambouge, since he had grown +rich, grew likewise abundantly moral. He was a most exemplary father. +He fed the poor, and was loved by them. He scorned a base action. And +I have no doubt that Mr. Thurtell, or the late lamented Mr. Greenacre, +in similar circumstances, would have acted like the worthy Simon +Gambouge. + +There was but one blot upon his character--he hated Mrs. Gam. worse +than ever. As he grew more benevolent, she grew more virulent: when he +went to plays, she went to Bible societies, and _vice versa_: in fact, +she led him such a life as Xantippe led Socrates, or as a dog leads a +cat in the same kitchen. With all his fortune--for, as may be +supposed, Simon prospered in all worldly things--he was the most +miserable dog in the whole city of Paris. Only in the point of +drinking did he and Mrs. Simon agree; and for many years, and during a +considerable number of hours in each day, he thus dissipated, +partially, his domestic chagrin. O philosophy! we may talk of thee: +but, except at the bottom of the wine-cup, where thou liest like +truth in a well, where shall we find thee? + +He lived so long, and in his worldly matters prospered so much, there +was so little sign of devilment in the accomplishment of his wishes, +and the increase of his prosperity, that Simon, at the end of six +years, began to doubt whether he had made any such bargain at all, as +that which we have described at the commencement of this history. He +had grown, as we said, very pious and moral. He went regularly to +mass, and had a confessor into the bargain. He resolved, therefore, to +consult that reverend gentleman, and to lay before him the whole +matter. + +"I am inclined to think, holy sir," said Gambouge, after he had +concluded his history, and shown how, in some miraculous way, all his +desires were accomplished, "that, after all, this demon was no other +than the creation of my own brain, heated by the effects of that +bottle of wine, the cause of my crime and my prosperity." + +The confessor agreed with him, and they walked out of church +comfortably together, and entered afterwards a _cafe_, where they sat +down to refresh themselves after the fatigues of their devotion. + +A respectable old gentleman, with a number of orders at his +button-hole, presently entered the room, and sauntered up to the +marble table, before which reposed Simon and his clerical friend. +"Excuse me, gentlemen," he said, as he took a place opposite them, and +began reading the papers of the day. + +"Bah!" said he, at last,--"sont-ils grands ces journaux anglais? +Look, sir," he said, handing over an immense sheet of _The Times_ to +Mr. Gambouge, "was ever anything so monstrous?" + +Gambouge smiled, politely, and examined the proffered page. "It is +enormous," he said; "but I do not read English." + +"Nay," said the man with the orders, "look closer at it, Signor +Gambouge; it is astonishing how easy the language is." + +Wondering, Simon took the sheet of paper. He turned pale as he looked +at it, and began to curse the ices and the waiter. "Come, M. l'Abbe," +he said; "the heat and glare of this place are intolerable." + + * * * * * + +The stranger rose with them. "Au plaisir de vous revoir, mon cher +monsieur," said he; "I do not mind speaking before the Abbe here, who +will be my very good friend one of these days; but I thought it +necessary to refresh your memory, concerning our little business +transaction six years since; and could not exactly talk of it _at +church_, as you may fancy." + +Simon Gambouge had seen, in the double-sheeted _Times_, the paper +signed by himself, which the little Devil had pulled out of his fob. + + * * * * * + +There was no doubt on the subject; and Simon, who had but a year to +live, grew more pious, and more careful than ever. He had +consultations with all the doctors of the Sorbonne and all the lawyers +of the Palais. But his magnificence grew as wearisome to him as his +poverty had been before; and not one of the doctors whom he consulted +could give him a pennyworth of consolation. + +Then he grew outrageous in his demands upon the Devil, and put him to +all sorts of absurd and ridiculous tasks; but they were all punctually +performed, until Simon could invent no new ones, and the Devil sat all +day with his hands in his pockets doing nothing. + +One day, Simon's confessor came bounding into the room, with the +greatest glee. "My friend," said he, "I have it! Eureka!--I have found +it. Send the Pope a hundred thousand crowns, build a new Jesuit +college at Rome, give a hundred gold candlesticks to St. Peter's; and +tell his Holiness you will double all if he will give you absolution!" + +Gambouge caught at the notion, and hurried off a courier to Rome +_ventre a terre_. His Holiness agreed to the request of the petition, +and sent him an absolution, written out with his own fist, and all in +due form. + +"Now," said he, "foul fiend, I defy you! arise. Diabolus! your +contract is not worth a jot: the Pope has absolved me, and I am safe +on the road to salvation." In a fervour of gratitude he clasped the +hand of his confessor, and embraced him: tears of joy ran down the +cheeks of these good men. + +They heard an inordinate roar of laughter, and there was Diabolus +sitting opposite to them holding his sides, and lashing his tail +about, as if he would have gone mad with glee. + +"Why," said he, "what nonsense is this! do you suppose I care about +_that_?" and he tossed the Pope's missive into a corner. "M. l'Abbe +knows," he said, bowing and grinning, "that though the Pope's paper +may pass current _here_, it is not worth twopence in our country. What +do I care about the Pope's absolution? You might just as well be +absolved by your under butler." + +"Egad," said the Abbe, "the rogue is right--I quite forgot the fact, +which he points out clearly enough." + +"No, no, Gambouge," continued Diabolus, with horrid familiarity, "go +thy ways, old fellow, that _cock won't fight_." And he retired up the +chimney, chuckling at his wit and his triumph. Gambouge heard his tail +scuttling all the way up, as if he had been a sweeper by profession. + +Simon was left in that condition of grief in which, according to the +newspapers, cities and nations are found when a murder is committed, +or a lord ill of the gout--a situation, we say, more easy to imagine +than to describe. + +To add to his woes, Mrs. Gambouge, who was now first made acquainted +with his compact, and its probable consequences, raised such a storm +about his ears, as made him wish almost that his seven years were +expired. She screamed, she scolded, she swore, she wept, she went into +such fits of hysterics, that poor Gambouge, who had completely knocked +under to her, was worn out of his life. He was allowed no rest, night +or day: he moped about his fine house, solitary and wretched, and +cursed his stars that he ever had married the butcher's daughter. + +It wanted six months of the time. + +A sudden and desperate resolution seemed all at once to have taken +possession of Simon Gambouge. He called his family and his friends +together--he gave one of the greatest feasts that ever was known in +the city of Paris--he gaily presided at one end of his table, while +Mrs. Gam., splendidly arrayed, gave herself airs at the other +extremity. + +After dinner, using the customary formula, he called upon Diabolus to +appear. The old ladies screamed and hoped he would not appear naked; +the young ones tittered, and longed to see the monster: everybody was +pale with expectation and affright. + +A very quiet, gentlemanly man, neatly dressed in black, made his +appearance, to the surprise of all present, and bowed all round to the +company. "I will not show my _credentials_," he said, blushing, and +pointing to his hoofs, which were cleverly hidden by his pumps and +shoe-buckles, "unless the ladies absolutely wish it; but I am the +person you want, Mr. Gambouge; pray tell me what is your will." + +"You know," said that gentleman, in a stately and determined voice, +"that you are bound to me, according to our agreement, for six months +to come." + +"I am," replied the new comer. + +"You are to do all that I ask, whatsoever it may be, or you forfeit +the bond which I gave you?" + +"It is true." + +"You declare this before the present company?" + +"Upon my honour, as a gentleman," said Diabolus, bowing, and laying +his hand upon his waistcoat. + +A whisper of applause ran round the room: all were charmed with the +bland manners of the fascinating stranger. + +"My love," continued Gambouge, mildly addressing his lady, "will you +be so polite as to step this way? You know I must go soon, and I am +anxious, before this noble company, to make a provision for one who, +in sickness as in health, in poverty as in riches, has been my truest +and fondest companion." + +Gambouge mopped his eyes with his handkerchief--all the company did +likewise. Diabolus sobbed audibly, and Mrs. Gambouge sidled up to her +husband's side, and took him tenderly by the hand. "Simon!" said she, +"is it true? and do you really love your Griskinissa?" + +Simon continued solemnly: "Come hither, Diabolus; you are bound to +obey me in all things for the six months during which our contract has +to run; take, then, Griskinissa Gambouge, live alone with her for half +a year, never leave her from morning till night, obey all her +caprices, follow all her whims, and listen to all the abuse which +falls from her infernal tongue. Do this, and I ask no more of you; I +will deliver myself up at the appointed time." + +Not Lord G----, when flogged by Lord B----, in the House,--not Mr. +Cartlitch, of Astley's Amphitheatre, in his most pathetic passages, +could look more crestfallen, and howl more hideously, than Diabolus +did now. "Take another year, Gambouge," screamed he; "two more--ten +more--a century; roast me on Lawrence's gridiron, boil me in holy +water, but don't ask that: don't, don't bid me live with Mrs. +Gambouge!" + +Simon smiled sternly. "I have said it," he cried; "do this, or our +contract is at an end." + +The Devil, at this, grinned so horribly that every drop of beer in the +house turned sour: he gnashed his teeth so frightfully that every +person in the company wellnigh fainted with the cholic. He slapped +down the great parchment upon the floor, trampled upon it madly, and +lashed it with his hoofs and his tail: at last, spreading out a mighty +pair of wings as wide as from here to Regent Street, he slapped +Gambouge with his tail over one eye, and vanished, abruptly, through +the keyhole. + + * * * * * + +Gambouge screamed with pain and started up. "You drunken, lazy +scoundrel!" cried a shrill and well-known voice, "you have been asleep +these two hours:" and here he received another terrific box on the +ear. + +It was too true, he had fallen asleep at his work; and the beautiful +vision had been dispelled by the thumps of the tipsy Griskinissa. +Nothing remained to corroborate his story, except the bladder of lake, +and this was spirted all over his waistcoat and breeches. + +"I wish," said the poor fellow, rubbing his tingling cheeks, "that +dreams were true;" and he went to work again at his portrait. + + * * * * * + +My last accounts of Gambouge are, that he has left the arts, and is +footman in a small family. Mrs. Gam. takes in washing; and it is said +that her continual dealings with soap-suds and hot water have been the +only things in life which have kept her from spontaneous combustion. + + + + +BON-BON + +BY EDGAR ALLAN POE + + + Quand un bon vin meuble mon estomac, + Je suis plus savant que Balzac-- + Plus sage que Pibrac; + Mon bras seul faisant l'attaque + De la nation cossaque, + La mettroit au sac; + De Charon je passerois le lac + En dormant dans son bac; + J'irois au fier Eac, + Sans que mon coeur fit tic ni tac, + Presenter du tabac. + --_French Vaudeville._ + +That Pierre Bon-Bon was a _restaurateur_ of uncommon qualifications, +no man who, during the reign of ----, frequented the little _cafe_ in +the _cul-de-sac_ Le Febvre at Rouen, will, I imagine, feel himself at +liberty to dispute. That Pierre Bon-Bon was, in an equal degree, +skilled in the philosophy of that period is, I presume, still more +especially undeniable. His _pates a la fois_ were beyond doubt +immaculate; but what pen can do justice to his essays _sur la +Nature_--his thoughts _sur l'Ame_--his observations _sur l'Esprit_? If +his _omelettes_--if his _fricandeaux_ were inestimable, what +_litterateur_ of that day would not have given twice as much for an +"_Idee de Bon-Bon_" as for all the trash of all the "_Idees_" of all +the rest of the _savants_? Bon-Bon had ransacked libraries which no +other man had ransacked--had read more than any other would have +entertained a notion of reading--had understood more than any other +would have conceived the possibility of understanding; and although, +while he flourished, there were not wanting some authors at Rouen to +assert "that his _dicta_ evinced neither the purity of the Academy, +nor the depth of the Lyceum"--although, mark me, his doctrines were by +no means very generally comprehended, still it did not follow that +they were difficult of comprehension. It was, I think, on account of +their self-evidency that many persons were led to consider them +abstruse. It is to Bon-Bon--but let this go no further--it is to +Bon-Bon that Kant himself is mainly indebted for his metaphysics. The +former was indeed not a Platonist, nor strictly speaking an +Aristotelian--nor did he, like the modern Leibnitz, waste those +precious hours which might be employed in the invention of a +_fricassee_ or, _facili gradu_, the analysis of a sensation, in +frivolous attempts at reconciling the obstinate oils and waters of +ethical discussion. Not at all. Bon-Bon was Ionic--Bon-Bon was equally +Italic. He reasoned _a priori_--He reasoned _a posteriori_. His ideas +were innate--or otherwise. He believed in George of Trebizond--he +believed in Bossarion. Bon-Bon was emphatically a--Bon-Bonist. + +I have spoken of the philosopher in his capacity of _restaurateur_. I +would not, however, have any friend of mine imagine that, in +fulfilling his hereditary duties in that line, our hero wanted a +proper estimation of their dignity and importance. Far from it. It +was impossible to say in which branch of his profession he took the +greater pride. In his opinion the powers of the intellect held +intimate connection with the capabilities of the stomach. I am not +sure, indeed, that he greatly disagreed with the Chinese, who hold +that the soul lies in the abdomen. The Greeks at all events were +right, he thought, who employed the same word for the mind and the +diaphragm.[13] By this I do not mean to insinuate a charge of +gluttony, or indeed any other serious charge to the prejudice of the +metaphysician. If Pierre Bon-Bon had his failings--and what great man +has not a thousand?--if Pierre Bon-Bon, I say, had his failings, they +were failings of very little importance--faults indeed which, in other +tempers, have often been looked upon rather in the light of virtues. +As regards one of these foibles, I should not even have mentioned it +in this history but for the remarkable prominency--the extreme _alto +relievo_--in which it jutted out from the plane of his general +disposition. He could never let slip an opportunity of making a +bargain. + + [13] [Greek: Phrenes]. + +Not that he was avaricious--no. It was by no means necessary to the +satisfaction of the philosopher, that the bargain should be to his own +proper advantage. Provided a trade could be effected--a trade of any +kind, upon any terms, or under any circumstances--a triumphant smile +was seen for many days thereafter to enlighten his countenance, and a +knowing wink of the eye to give evidence of his sagacity. + +At any epoch it would not be very wonderful if a humour so peculiar +as the one I have just mentioned, should elicit attention and remark. +At the epoch of our narrative, had this peculiarity _not_ attracted +observation, there would have been room for wonder indeed. It was soon +reported that, upon all occasions of the kind, the smile of Bon-Bon +was found to differ widely from the downright grin with which he would +laugh at his own jokes, or welcome an acquaintance. Hints were thrown +out of an exciting nature; stories were told of perilous bargains made +in a hurry and repented of at leisure; and instances were adduced of +unaccountable capacities, vague longings, and unnatural inclinations +implanted by the author of all evil for wise purposes of his own. + +The philosopher had other weaknesses--but they are scarcely worthy our +serious examination. For example, there are few men of extraordinary +profundity who are found wanting in an inclination for the bottle. +Whether this inclination be an exciting cause, or rather a valid +proof, of such profundity, it is a nice thing to say. Bon-Bon, as far +as I can learn, did not think the subject adapted to minute +investigation;--nor do I. Yet in the indulgence of a propensity so +truly classical, it is not to be supposed that the _restaurateur_ +would lose sight of that intuitive discrimination which was wont to +characterize, at one and the same time, his _essais_ and his +_omelettes_. In his seclusions the Vin de Bourgogne had its allotted +hour, and there were appropriate moments for the Cotes du Rhone. With +him Sauternes was to Medoc what Catullus was to Homer. He would sport +with a syllogism in sipping St. Peray, but unravel an argument over +Clos-Vougeot, and upset a theory in a torrent of Chambertin. Well had +it been if the same quick sense of propriety had attended him in the +peddling propensity to which I have formerly alluded--but this was by +no means the case. Indeed to say the truth, _that_ trait of mind in +the philosophic Bon-Bon _did_ begin at length to assume a character of +strange intensity and mysticism, and appeared deeply tinctured with +the _diablerie_ of his favourite German studies. + +To enter the little _cafe_ in the _cul-de-sac_ Le Febvre was, at the +period of our tale, to enter the _sanctum_ of a man of genius. Bon-Bon +was a man of genius. There was not a _sous-cuisinier_ in Rouen who +could not have told you that Bon-Bon was a man of genius. His very cat +knew it, and forbore to whisk her tail in the presence of the man of +genius. His large water-dog was acquainted with the fact, and upon the +approach of his master, betrayed his sense of inferiority by a +sanctity of deportment, a debasement of the ears, and a dropping of +the lower jaw not altogether unworthy of a dog. It is, however, true +that much of this habitual respect might have been attributed to the +personal appearance of the metaphysician. A distinguished exterior +will, I am constrained to say, have its way even with a beast; and I +am willing to allow much in the outward man of the _restaurateur_ +calculated to impress the imagination of the quadruped. There is a +peculiar majesty about the atmosphere of the little great--if I may be +permitted so equivocal an expression--which mere physical bulk alone +will be found at all times inefficient in creating. If, however, +Bon-Bon was barely three feet in height, and if his head was +diminutively small, still it was impossible to behold the rotundity +of his stomach without a sense of magnificence nearly bordering upon +the sublime. In its size both dogs and men must have seen a type of +his acquirements--in its immensity a fitting habitation for his +immortal soul. + +I might here--if it so pleased me--dilate upon the matter of +habiliment, and other mere circumstances of the external +metaphysician. I might hint that the hair of our hero was worn short, +combed smoothly over his forehead, and surmounted by a conical-shaped +white flannel cap and tassels--that his pea-green jerkin was not after +the fashion of those worn by the common class of _restaurateurs_ at +that day--that the sleeves were something fuller than the reigning +costume permitted--that the cuffs were turned up, not as usual in that +barbarous period, with cloth of the same quality and colour as the +garment, but faced in a more fanciful manner with the particoloured +velvet of Genoa--that his slippers were of bright purple, curiously +filigreed, and might have been manufactured in Japan, but for the +exquisite pointing of the toes, and the brilliant tints of the binding +and embroidery--that his breeches were of the yellow satin-like +material called _aimable_--that his sky-blue cloak, resembling in form +a dressing-wrapper, and richly bestudded all over with crimson +devices, floated cavaliery upon his shoulders like a mist of the +morning--and that his _tout ensemble_ gave rise to the remarkable +words of Benevenuta, the Improvisatrice of Florence, "that it was +difficult to say whether Pierre Bon-Bon was indeed a bird of Paradise, +or the rather a very Paradise of perfection." I might, I say, +expatiate upon all these points if I pleased,--but I forbear; merely +personal details may be left to historical novelists,--they are +beneath the moral dignity of matter-of-fact. + +I have said that "to enter the _cafe_ in the _cul-de-sac_ Le Febvre +was to enter the _sanctum_ of a man of genius"--but then it was only +the man of genius who could duly estimate the merits of the _sanctum_. +A sign, consisting of a vast folio, swung before the entrance. On one +side of the volume was painted a bottle; on the reverse a _pate_. On +the back were visible in large letters _Oeuvres de Bon-Bon_. Thus was +delicately shadowed forth the twofold occupation of the proprietor. + +Upon stepping over the threshold, the whole interior of the building +presented itself to view. A long, low-pitched room, of antique +construction, was indeed all the accommodation afforded by the _cafe_. +In a corner of the apartment stood the bed of the metaphysician. An +array of curtains, together with a canopy _a la grecque_, gave it an +air at once classic and comfortable. In the corner diagonally +opposite, appeared, in direct family communion, the properties of the +kitchen and the _bibliotheque_. A dish of polemics stood peacefully +upon the dresser. Here lay an ovenful of the latest ethics--there a +kettle of duodecimo _melanges_. Volumes of German morality were hand +and glove with the gridiron--a toasting-fork might be discovered by +the side of Eusebius--Plato reclined at his ease in the +frying-pan--and contemporary manuscripts were filed away upon the +spit. + +In other respects the _Cafe de Bon-Bon_ might be said to differ little +from the usual _restaurants_ of the period. A large fireplace yawned +opposite the door. On the right of the fireplace an open cupboard +displayed a formidable array of labelled bottles. + +It was here, about twelve o'clock one night, during the severe winter +of ----, that Pierre Bon-Bon, after having listened for some time to +the comments of his neighbours upon his singular propensity--that +Pierre Bon-Bon, I say, having turned them all out of his house, locked +the door upon them with an oath, and betook himself in no very pacific +mood to the comforts of a leather-bottomed arm-chair, and a fire of +blazing fagots. + +It was one of those terrific nights which are only met with once or +twice during a century. It snowed fiercely, and the house tottered to +its centre with the floods of wind that, rushing through the crannies +of the wall, and pouring impetuously down the chimney, shook awfully +the curtains of the philosopher's bed, and disorganized the economy of +his _pate_-pans and papers. The huge folio sign that swung without, +exposed to the fury of the tempest, creaked ominously, and gave out a +moaning sound from its stanchions of solid oak. + +It was in no placid temper, I say, that the metaphysician drew up his +chair to its customary station by the hearth. Many circumstances of a +perplexing nature had occurred during the day, to disturb the serenity +of his meditations. In attempting _des oeufs a la Princesse_, he had +unfortunately perpetrated an _omelette a la Reine_; the discovery of a +principle in ethics had been frustrated by the overturning of a stew; +and last, not least, he had been thwarted in one of those admirable +bargains which he at all times took such especial delight in bringing +to a successful termination. But in the chafing of his mind at these +unaccountable vicissitudes, there did not fail to be mingled some +degree of that nervous anxiety which the fury of a boisterous night is +so well calculated to produce. Whistling to his more immediate +vicinity the large black water-dog we have spoken of before, and +settling himself uneasily in his chair, he could not help casting a +wary and unquiet eye toward those distant recesses of the apartment +whose inexorable shadows not even the red fire-light itself could more +than partially succeed in overcoming. Having completed a scrutiny +whose exact purpose was perhaps unintelligible to himself, he drew +close to his seat a small table covered with books and papers, and +soon became absorbed in the task of retouching a voluminous +manuscript, intended for publication on the morrow. + +He had been thus occupied for some minutes, when "I am in no hurry, +Monsieur Bon-Bon," suddenly whispered a whining voice in the +apartment. + +"The devil!" ejaculated our hero, starting to his feet, overturning +the table at his side, and staring around him in astonishment. + +"Very true," calmly replied the voice. + +"Very true!--what is very true?--how came you here?" vociferated the +metaphysician, as his eye fell upon something which lay stretched at +full length upon the bed. + +"I was saying," said the intruder, without attending to the +interrogatories,--"I was saying that I am not at all pushed for +time--that the business, upon which I took the liberty of calling, is +of no pressing importance--in short, that I can very well wait until +you have finished your Exposition." + +"My Exposition!--there now!--how do _you_ know?--how came _you_ to +understand that I was writing an Exposition--good God!" + +"Hush!" replied the figure, in a shrill undertone; and, arising +quickly from the bed, he made a single step toward our hero, while an +iron lamp that depended overhead swung convulsively back from his +approach. + +The philosopher's amazement did not prevent a narrow scrutiny of the +stranger's dress and appearance. The outlines of his figure, +exceedingly lean, but much above the common height, were rendered +minutely distinct by means of a faded suit of black cloth which fitted +tight to the skin, but was otherwise cut very much in the style of a +century ago. These garments had evidently been intended for a much +shorter person than their present owner. His ankles and wrists were +left naked for several inches. In his shoes, however, a pair of very +brilliant buckles gave the lie to the extreme poverty implied by the +other portions of his dress. His head was bare, and entirely bald, +with the exception of the hinder-part, from which depended a _queue_ +of considerable length. A pair of green spectacles, with side glasses, +protected his eyes from the influence of the light, and at the same +time prevented our hero from ascertaining either their colour or their +conformation. About the entire person there was no evidence of a +shirt; but a white cravat, of filthy appearance, was tied with extreme +precision around the throat, and the ends, hanging down formally side +by side gave (although I dare say unintentionally) the idea of an +ecclesiastic. Indeed, many other points both in his appearance and +demeanour might have very well sustained a conception of that nature. +Over his left ear, he carried, after the fashion of a modern clerk, an +instrument resembling the _stylus_ of the ancients. In a breast-pocket +of his coat appeared conspicuously a small black volume fastened with +clasps of steel. This book, whether accidentally or not, was so turned +outwardly from the person as to discover the words "_Rituel +Catholique_" in white letters upon the back. His entire physiognomy +was interestingly saturnine--even cadaverously pale. The forehead was +lofty, and deeply furrowed with the ridges of contemplation. The +corners of the mouth were drawn down into an expression of the most +submissive humility. There was also a clasping of the hands, as he +stepped towards our hero--a deep sigh--and altogether a look of such +utter sanctity as could not have failed to be unequivocally +prepossessing. Every shadow of anger faded from the countenance of the +metaphysician, as, having completed a satisfactory survey of his +visitor's person, he shook him cordially by the hand, and conducted +him to a seat. + +There would however be a radical error in attributing this +instantaneous transition of feeling in the philosopher to any one of +those causes which might naturally be supposed to have had an +influence. Indeed, Pierre Bon-Bon, from what I have been able to +understand of his disposition, was of all men the least likely to be +imposed upon by any speciousness of exterior deportment. It was +impossible that so accurate an observer of men and things should have +failed to discover, upon the moment, the real character of the +personage who had thus intruded upon his hospitality. To say no more, +the conformation of his visitor's feet was sufficiently remarkable--he +maintained lightly upon his head an inordinately tall hat--there was a +tremulous swelling about the hinder-part of his breeches--and the +vibration of his coat tail was a palpable fact. Judge, then, with what +feelings of satisfaction our hero found himself thrown thus at once +into the society of a person for whom he had at all times entertained +the most unqualified respect. He was, however, too much of the +diplomatist to let escape him any intimation of his suspicions in +regard to the true state of affairs. It was not his cue to appear at +all conscious of the high honour he thus unexpectedly enjoyed; but, by +leading his guest into conversation, to elicit some important ethical +ideas, which might, in obtaining a place in his contemplated +publication, enlighten the human race, and at the same time +immortalize himself--ideas which, I should have added, his visitor's +great age, and well-known proficiency in the science of morals, might +very well have enabled him to afford. + +Actuated by these enlightened views, our hero bade the gentleman sit +down, while he himself took occasion to throw some fagots upon the +fire, and place upon the now re-established table some bottles of +Mousseaux. Having quickly completed these operations, he drew his +chair _vis-a-vis_ to his companion's, and waited until the latter +should open the conversation. But plans even the most skilfully +matured are often thwarted in the outset of their application--and +the _restaurateur_ found himself _nonplussed_ by the very first words +of his visitor's speech. + +"I see you know me, Bon-Bon," said he; "ha! ha! ha!--he! he! he!--hi! +hi! hi--ho! ho! ho!--hu! hu! hu!"--and the Devil, dropping at once the +sanctity of his demeanour, opened to its fullest extent a mouth from +ear to ear, so as to display a set of jagged and fang-like teeth, and, +throwing back his head, laughed long, loudly, wickedly, and +uproariously, while the black dog, crouching down upon his haunches, +joined lustily in the chorus, and the tabby cat, flying off a tangent, +stood up on end, and shrieked in the farthest corner of the apartment. + +Not so the philosopher: he was too much a man of the world either to +laugh like the dog, or by shrieks to betray the indecorous trepidation +of the cat. It must be confessed, he felt a little astonishment to see +the white letters which formed the words "_Rituel Catholique_" on the +book in his guest's pocket, momently changing both their colour and +their import, and in a few seconds, in place of the original title, +the words "_Registre des Condamnes_" blaze forth in characters of red. +This startling circumstance, when Bon-Bon replied to his visitor's +remark, imparted to his manner an air of embarrassment which probably +might not otherwise have been observed. + +"Why, sir," said the philosopher, "why, sir, to speak sincerely--I +believe you are--upon my word--the d--dest--that is to say, I think--I +imagine--I _have_ some faint--some _very_ faint idea--of the +remarkable honour--" + +"Oh!--ah!--yes!--very well!" interrupted his Majesty; "say no more--I +see how it is." And hereupon, taking off his green spectacles, he +wiped the glasses carefully with the sleeve of his coat, and deposited +them in his pocket. + +If Bon-Bon had been astonished at the incident of the book, his +amazement was now much increased by the spectacle which here presented +itself to view. In raising his eyes, with a strong feeling of +curiosity to ascertain the colour of his guest's, he found them by no +means black, as he had anticipated--nor grey, as might have been +imagined--nor yet hazel nor blue--nor indeed yellow nor red--nor +purple--nor white--nor green--nor any other colour in the heavens +above, or in the earth beneath, or in the waters under the earth. In +short, Pierre Bon-Bon not only saw plainly that his Majesty had no +eyes whatsoever, but could discover no indications of their having +existed at any previous period--for the space where eyes should +naturally have been was, I am constrained to say, simply a dead level +of flesh. + +It was not in the nature of the metaphysician to forbear making some +inquiry into the sources of so strange a phenomenon; and the reply of +his Majesty was at once prompt, dignified, and satisfactory. + +"Eyes! my dear Bon-Bon--eyes! did you say?--oh!--ah!--I perceive! The +ridiculous prints, eh, which are in circulation, have given you a +false idea of my personal appearance. Eyes!--true. Eyes, Pierre +Bon-Bon, are very well in their proper place--_that_, you would say, +is the head?--right--the head of a worm. To _you_, likewise, these +optics are indispensable--yet I will convince you that my vision is +more penetrating than your own. There is a cat I see in the corner--a +pretty cat--look at her--observe her well. Now, Bon-Bon, do you behold +the thoughts--the thoughts, I say--the ideas--the reflections--which +are being engendered in her pericranium? There it is now--you do not! +She is thinking we admire the length of her tail and the profundity of +her mind. She has just concluded that I am the most distinguished of +ecclesiastics, and that you are the most superficial of +metaphysicians. Thus you see I am not altogether blind; but to one of +my profession, the eyes you speak of would be merely an incumbrance, +liable at any time to be put out by a toasting-iron or a pitchfork. To +you, I allow, these optical affairs are indispensable. Endeavour, +Bon-Bon, to use them well; _my_ vision is the soul." + +Hereupon the guest helped himself to the wine upon the table, and +pouring out a bumper for Bon-Bon, requested him to drink it without +scruple, and make himself perfectly at home. + +"A clever book that of yours, Pierre," resumed his Majesty, tapping +our friend knowingly upon the shoulder, as the latter put down his +glass after a thorough compliance with his visitor's injunction. "A +clever book that of yours, upon my honour. It's a work after my own +heart. Your arrangement of the matter, I think, however, might be +improved, and many of your notions remind me of Aristotle. That +philosopher was one of my most intimate acquaintances. I liked him as +much for his terrible ill temper, as for his happy knack at making a +blunder. There is only one solid truth in all that he has written, and +for that I gave him the hint out of pure compassion for his absurdity. +I suppose, Pierre Bon-Bon, you very well know to what divine moral +truth I am alluding?" + +"Cannot say that I--" + +"Indeed!--why it was I who told Aristotle that, by sneezing, men +expelled superfluous ideas through the proboscis." + +"Which is--hiccup!--undoubtedly the case," said the metaphysician, +while he poured out for himself another bumper of Mousseaux, and +offering his snuff-box to the fingers of his visitor. + +"There was Plato, too," continued his Majesty, modestly declining the +snuff-box and the compliment it implied--"there was Plato, too, for +whom I, at one time, felt all the affection of a friend. You knew +Plato, Bon-Bon?--ah, no, I beg a thousand pardons. He met me at +Athens, one day, in the Parthenon, and told me he was distressed for +an idea. I bade him write down that '[Greek: ho nous estin aulos].' He +said that he would do so, and went home, while I stepped over to the +pyramids. But my conscience smote me for having uttered a truth, even +to aid a friend, and hastening back to Athens, I arrived behind the +philosopher's chair as he was inditing the '[Greek: aulos].' + +"Giving the lambda a fillip with my finger, I turned it upside down. +So the sentence now reads '[Greek: ho nous estin augos],' and is, you +perceive, the fundamental doctrine in his metaphysics." + +"Were you ever at Rome?" asked the _restaurateur_, as he finished his +second bottle of Mousseaux, and drew from the closet a larger supply +of Chambertin. + +"But once, Monsieur Bon-Bon, but once. There was a time," said the +Devil, as if reciting some passage from a book--"there was a time when +occurred an anarchy of five years, during which the republic, bereft +of all its officers, had no magistracy besides the tribunes of the +people, and these were not legally vested with any degree of executive +power--at that time, Monsieur Bon-Bon--at that time _only_ I was in +Rome, and I have no earthly acquaintance, consequently, with any of +its philosophy."[14] + + [14] Ils ecrivaient sur la philosophie (_Cicero_, + _Lucretius_, _Seneca_), mais c'etait la philosophie + grecque.--_Condorcet._ + +"What do you think of--what do you think of--hiccup!--Epicurus?" + +"What do I think of _whom_?" said the Devil, in astonishment; "you +surely do not mean to find any fault with Epicurus! What do I think of +Epicurus! Do you mean me, sir?--I am Epicurus! I am the same +philosopher who wrote each of the three hundred treatises commemorated +by Diogenes Laertes." + +"That's a lie!" said the metaphysician, for the wine had gotten a +little into his head. + +"Very well!--very well, sir!--very well, indeed, sir!" said his +Majesty, apparently much flattered. + +"That's a lie!" repeated the _restaurateur_, dogmatically; "that's +a--hiccup!--a lie!" + +"Well, well, have it your own way!" said the Devil, pacifically, and +Bon-Bon, having beaten his Majesty at an argument, thought it his duty +to conclude a second bottle of Chambertin. + +"As I was saying," resumed the visitor--"as I was observing a little +while ago, there are some very _outre_ notions in that book of yours, +Monsieur Bon-Bon. What, for instance, do you mean by all that humbug +about the soul? Pray, sir, what _is_ the soul?" + +"The--hiccup!--soul," replied the metaphysician, referring to his MS., +"is undoubtedly--" + +"No, sir!" + +"Indubitably--" + +"No, sir!" + +"Indisputably--" + +"No, sir!" + +"Evidently--" + +"No, sir!" + +"Incontrovertibly--" + +"No, sir!" + +"Hiccup!--" + +"No, sir!" + +"And beyond all question, a--" + +"No, sir, the soul is no such thing!" (Here the philosopher, looking +daggers, took occasion to make an end, upon the spot, of his third +bottle of Chambertin.) + +"Then--hiccup!--pray, sir--what--what is it?" + +"That is neither here nor there, Monsieur Bon-Bon," replied his +Majesty, musingly. "I have tasted--that is to say, I have known some +very bad souls, and some too--pretty good ones." Here he smacked his +lips, and, having unconsciously let fall his hand upon the volume in +his pocket, was seized with a violent fit of sneezing. + +He continued: + +"There was the soul of Cratinus--passable: Aristophanes--racy: +Plato--exquisite--not _your_ Plato, but Plato the comic poet; your +Plato would have turned the stomach of Cerberus--faugh! Then let me +see! there were Naevius, and Andronicus, and Plautus, and Terentius. +Then there were Lucilius, and Catullus, and Naso, and Quintus +Flaccus,--dear Quinty! as I called him when he sang a _saeculare_ for +my amusement, while I toasted him, in pure good humour, on a fork. But +they want _flavour_, these Romans. One fat Greek is worth a dozen of +them, and besides will _keep_, which cannot be said of a Quirite. Let +us taste your Sauterne." + +Bon-Bon had by this time made up his mind to the _nil admirari_, and +endeavoured to hand down the bottles in question. He was, however, +conscious of a strange sound in the room like the wagging of a tail. +Of this, although extremely indecent in his Majesty, the philosopher +took no notice:--simply kicking the dog, and requesting him to be +quiet. The visitor continued: + +"I found that Horace tasted very much like Aristotle;--you know I am +fond of variety. Terentius I could not have told from Menander. Naso, +to my astonishment, was Nicander in disguise. Virgilius had a strong +twang of Theocritus. Martial put me much in mind of Archilochus--and +Titus Livius was positively Polybius and none other." + +"Hiccup!" here replied Bon-Bon, and his Majesty proceeded: + +"But if I _have_ a _penchant_, Monsieur Bon-Bon--if I _have_ a +_penchant_, it is for a philosopher. Yet, let me tell you, sir, it is +not every dev--I mean it is not every gentleman who knows how to +_choose_ a philosopher. Long ones are _not_ good; and the best, if not +carefully shelled, are apt to be a little rancid on account of the +gall." + +"Shelled!!" + +"I mean taken out of the carcass." + +"What do you think of a--hiccup!--physician?" + +"_Don't_ mention them!--ugh! ugh!" (Here his Majesty retched +violently.) "I never tasted but one--that rascal Hippocrates!--smelt +of asafoetida--ugh! ugh! ugh!--caught a wretched cold washing him in +the Styx--and after all he gave me the cholera-morbus." + +"The--hiccup!--wretch!" ejaculated Bon-Bon, "the--hiccup!--abortion of +a pill-box!"--and the philosopher dropped a tear. + +"After all," continued the visitor, "after all, if a dev--if a +gentleman wishes to _live_, he must have more talents than one or two; +and with us a fat face is an evidence of diplomacy." + +"How so?" + +"Why we are sometimes exceedingly pushed for provisions. You must know +that, in a climate so sultry as mine, it is frequently impossible to +keep a spirit alive for more than two or three hours; and after death, +unless pickled immediately (and a pickled spirit is _not_ good), they +will--smell--you understand, eh? Putrefaction is always to be +apprehended when the souls are consigned to us in the usual way." + +"Hiccup!--hiccup!--good God! how _do_ you manage?" + +Here the iron lamp commenced swinging with redoubled violence, and the +Devil half started from his seat;--however, with a slight sigh, he +recovered his composure, merely saying to our hero in a low tone: "I +tell you what, Pierre Bon-Bon, we _must_ have no more swearing." + +The host swallowed another bumper, by way of denoting thorough +comprehension and acquiescence, and the visitor continued: + +"Why, there are _several_ ways of managing. The most of us starve: +some put up with the pickle: for my part I purchase my spirits +_vivente corpore_, in which case I find they keep very well." + +"But the body!--hiccup!--the body!!" + +"The body, the body--well, what of the body?--oh! ah! I perceive. Why, +sir, the body is not _at all_ affected by the transaction. I have made +innumerable purchases of the kind in my day, and the parties never +experienced any inconvenience. There were Cain and Nimrod, and Nero, +and Caligula, and Dionysius, and Pisistratus, and--and a thousand +others, who never knew what it was to have a soul during the latter +part of their lives; yet, sir, these men adorned society. Why isn't +there A--, now, whom you know as well as I? Is _he_ not in possession +of all his faculties, mental and corporeal? Who writes a keener +epigram? Who reasons more wittily? Who--but, stay! I have his +agreement in my pocket-book." + +Thus saying, he produced a red leather wallet, and took from it a +number of papers. Upon some of these Bon-Bon caught a glimpse of the +letters _Machi_--_Maza_--_Robesp_--with the words _Caligula_, +_George_, _Elizabeth_. His Majesty selected a narrow slip of +parchment, and from it read aloud the following words: + +"In consideration of certain mental endowments which it is unnecessary +to specify, and in further consideration of one thousand louis d'or, +I, being aged one year and one month, do hereby make over to the +bearer of this agreement all my right, title, and appurtenance in the +shadow called my soul. (Signed) A...."[15] (Here His Majesty repeated +a name which I do not feel myself justified in indicating more +unequivocally.) + + [15] Query.--_Arouet?_ + +"A clever fellow that," resumed he; "but, like you, Monsieur Bon-Bon, +he was mistaken about the soul. The soul a shadow, truly! The soul a +shadow! Ha! ha! ha!--he! he! he!--hu! hu! hu! Only think of a +_fricasseed_ shadow!" + +"_Only_ think--hiccup!--of a _fricasseed_ shadow!" exclaimed our hero, +whose faculties were becoming much illuminated by the profundity of +His Majesty's discourse. "Only think of a--hiccup!--_fricasseed_ +shadow!! Now, damme!--hiccup!--humph! If _I_ would have been such +a--hiccup!--nincompoop! _My_ soul, Mr.--humph!" + +"_Your_ soul, Monsieur Bon-Bon?" + +"Yes, sir--hiccup!--_my_ soul is--" + +"What, sir?" + +"_No_ shadow, damme!" + +"Did you mean to say--" + +"Yes, sir, _my_ soul is--hiccup!--humph!--yes, sir." + +"Did you not intend to assert--" + +"_My_ soul is--hiccup!--peculiarly qualified for--hiccup!--a--" + +"What, sir?" + +"Stew." + +"Ha!" + +"_Soufflee._" + +"Eh!" + +"_Fricassee._" + +"Indeed!" + +"_Ragout_ and _fricandeau_--and see here, my good fellow! I'll let you +have it--hiccup!--a bargain." Here the philosopher slapped His Majesty +upon the back. + +"Couldn't think of such a thing," said the latter calmly, at the same +time rising from his seat. The metaphysician stared. + +"Am supplied at present," said His Majesty. + +"Hic-cup!--e-h?" said the philosopher. + +"Have no funds on hand." + +"What?" + +"Besides, very unhandsome in me--" + +"Sir!" + +"To take advantage of--" + +"Hic-cup!" + +"Your present disgusting and ungentlemanly situation." + +Here the visitor bowed and withdrew--in what manner could not +precisely be ascertained--but in a well-concerted effort to discharge +a bottle at "the villain," the slender chain was severed that depended +from the ceiling, and the metaphysician prostrated by the downfall of +the lamp. + + + + +THE PRINTER'S DEVIL + + +As I was sitting in my armchair and preparing an essay on the Devil in +literature, sleep overpowered me; the pen fell from my hands, and my +head reclined upon the desk. I had been thinking so much about the +Devil in my waking hours, that the same idea pursued me after I had +fallen asleep. I heard a gentle rap at the door, and having bawled out +as usual, "Come in," a little gentleman entered, wrapped in a large +blue cloth cloak, with a slouched hat, and goggles over his eyes. +After bowing and scraping with considerable ceremony, he took off his +hat, and threw his cloak over the back of a chair, when I immediately +perceived that my visitor was no mortal. His face was hideously ugly; +the skin appearing very much like wet paper, and the forehead covered +with those cabalistic signs whose wondrous significance is best known +to those who correct the press. On the end of his long hooked nose +there seemed to me to be growing, like a carbuncle, the first letter +of the alphabet, glittering with ink and ready to print. I observed, +also, that each of his fingers and toes, or rather claws, was in the +same manner terminated by one of the letters of the alphabet; and as +he slashed round his tail to brush a fly off his nose, I noticed that +the letter Z formed the extremity of that useful member. While I was +looking with no small astonishment and some trepidation at my +extraordinary visitor, he took occasion to inform me that he had +taken liberty to call, as he was afraid I might forget him in the +treatise which I was writing--an omission which he assured me would +cause him no little mortification. "In me," says he, "you behold the +prince and patron of printers' devils. My province is to preside over +the hell of books; and if you will only take the trouble to accompany +me a little way, I will show you some of the wonders of that world." +As my imagination had lately been much excited by perusing Dante's +_Inferno_, I was delighted with an adventure which promised to turn +out something like his wonderful journey, and I readily consented to +visit my new friend's dominions, and we sallied forth together. As we +pursued our way, my conductor endeavoured to give me some information +respecting the world I was about to enter, in order to prepare me for +the wonders I should encounter there. "You must know," remarked he, +"that books have souls as well as men; and the moment any work is +published, whether successful or not, its soul appears in precisely +the same form in another world; either in this domain, which is +subject to me, or in a better region, over which I have no control. I +have power only to exhibit the place of punishment for bad books, +periodicals, pamphlets, and, in short, publications of every kind." + +We now arrived at the mouth of a cavern, which I did not remember to +have ever noticed before, though I had repeatedly passed the spot in +my walks. It looked to me more like the entrance to a coalmine than +anything else, as the sides were entirely black. Upon examining them +more closely, I found that they were covered with a black fluid which +greatly resembled printer's ink, and which seemed to corrode and wear +away the rocks of the cavern wherever it touched them. "We have lately +received a large supply of political publications," said my companion; +"and hell is perfectly saturated with their maliciousness. We carry on +a profitable trade upon the earth, by retailing this ink to the +principal political editors. Unfortunately, it is not found to answer +very well for literary publications, though they have tried it with +considerable success in printing the London _Quarterly_ and several of +the other important reviews." + +The cavern widened as we advanced, and we came presently into a vast +open plain, which was bounded on one side by a wall so high that it +seemed to reach the very heavens. As we approached the wall I observed +a vast gateway before us, closed up by folding doors. The gates opened +at our approach, and we entered. I found myself in a warm sandy +valley, bounded on one side by a steep range of mountains. A feeble +light shone upon it, much like that of a sick chamber, and the air +seemed confined and stifling like that of the abode of illness. My +ears were assailed by a confused whining noise, as if all the litters +of new-born puppies, kittens with their eyes unopened, and babes just +come to light, in the whole world, were brought into one spot, and +were whelping, mewing, and squalling at once. I turned in mute wonder +to my guide for explanation; and he informed me that I now beheld the +destined abode of all still-born and abortive publications; and the +infantine noises which I heard were only their feeble wailing for the +miseries they had endured in being brought into the world. I now saw +what the feebleness of the light had prevented my observing before, +that the soil was absolutely covered with books of every size and +shape, from the little diamond almanac up to the respectable quarto. I +saw folios there. These books were crawling about and tumbling over +each other like blind whelps, uttering, at the same time, the most +mournful cries. I observed one, however, which remained quite still, +occasionally groaning a little, and appeared like an overgrown toad +oppressed with its own heaviness. I drew near, and read upon the back, +"_Resignation_, a Novel." The cover flew open, and the title-page +immediately began to address me. I walked off, however, as fast as +possible, only distinguishing a few words about "the injustice and +severity of critics;" "bad taste of the public;" "very well +considering;" "first effort;" "feminine mind," &c. &c. I presently +discovered a very important-looking little book, stalking about among +the rest in a great passion, kicking the others out of the way, and +swearing like a trooper; till at length, apparently exhausted with its +efforts, it sunk down to rise no more. "Ah ha!" exclaimed my little +diabolical friend, "here is a new comer; let's see who he is;" and +coming up, he turned it over with his foot so that we could see the +back of it, upon which was printed "_The Monikins_, by the Author of, +&c. &c." I noticed that the book had several marks across it, as if +some one had been flogging the unfortunate work. "It is only the marks +of the scourge," said my companion, "which the critics have used +rather more severely, I think, than was necessary." I expected, after +all the passion I had seen, and the great importance of feeling, +arrogance, and vanity the little work had manifested, that it would +have some pert remarks to make to us; but it was so much exhausted +that it could not say a word. At the bottom of the valley was a small +pond of a milky hue, from which there issued a perfume very much like +the smell of bread and butter. An immense number of thin, prettily +bound manuscript books were soaking in this pond of milk, all of +which, I was informed, were _Young Ladies' Albums_, which it was +necessary to souse in the slough, to prevent them from stealing +passages from the various works about them. As soon as I heard what +they were, I ran away with all my speed, having a mortal dread of +these books. + +We had now traversed the valley, and, approaching the barrier of +mountains, we found a passage cut through, which greatly resembled the +Pausilipo, near Naples; it was closed on the side towards the valley, +only with a curtain of white paper, upon which were printed the names +of the principal reviews, which my conductor assured me were enough to +prevent any of the unhappy works we had seen from coming near the +passage. + +As we advanced through the mountains, occasional gleams of light +appeared before us, and immediately vanished, leaving us in darkness. +My guide, however, seemed to be well acquainted with the way, and we +went on fearlessly till we emerged into an open field, lighted up by +constant flashes of lightning, which glared from every side; the air +was hot, and strongly impregnated with sulphur. "Each department of my +dominions," said the Devil, "receives its light from the works which +are sent there. You are now surrounded by the glittering but +evanescent coruscations of the more recent novels. This department of +hell was never very well supplied till quite lately, though Fielding, +Smollett, Maturin, and Godwin, did what they could for us. Our +greatest benefactors have been Disraeli, Bulwer, and Victor Hugo; and +this glare of light, so painful to our eyes, proceeds chiefly from +their books." There was a tremendous noise like the rioting of an army +of drunken men, with horrible cries and imprecations, and fiend-like +laughing, which made my blood curdle; and such a scrambling and +fighting among the books, as I never saw before. I could not imagine +at first what could be the cause of this, till I discovered at last a +golden hill rising up like a cone in the midst of the plane, with just +room enough for one book on the summit; and I found that the novels +were fighting like so many devils for the occupation of this place. +One work, however, had gained possession of it, and seemed to maintain +its hold with a strength and resolution which bade defiance to the +rest. I could not at first make out the name of this book, which +seemed to stand upon its golden throne like the Prince of Hell; but +presently the whole arch of the heavens glared with new brilliancy, +and the magic name of _Vivian Grey_ flashed from the book in letters +of scorching light. I was much afraid, however, that _Vivian_ would +not long retain his post; for I saw _Pelham_ and _Peregrine Pickle_, +and the terrible _Melmoth_ with his glaring eyes, coming together to +the assault, when a whirlwind seized them all four and carried them +away to a vast distance, leaving the elevation vacant for some other +competitor. "There is no peace to the wicked, you see," said my +Asmodeus. "These books are longing for repose, and they can get none +on account of the insatiable vanity of their authors, whose desire for +distinction made them careless of the sentiments they expressed and +the principles they advocated. The great characteristic of works of +this stamp is action, intense, painful action. They have none of that +beautiful serenity which shines in Scott and Edgeworth; and they are +condemned to illustrate, by an eternity of contest here, the restless +spirit with which they are inspired." + +While I was looking on with fearful interest in the mad combat before +me, the horizon seemed to be darkened, and a vast cloud rose up in the +image of a gigantic eagle, whose wings stretched from the east to the +west till he covered the firmament. In his talons he carried an open +book, at the sight of which the battle around me was calmed; the +lightnings ceased to flash, and there was an awful stillness. Then +suddenly there glared from the book a sheet of fire, which rose in +columns a thousand feet high, and filled the empyrean with intense +light; the pillars of flame curling and wreathing themselves into +monstrous letters, till they were fixed in one terrific glare, and I +read--"BYRON." Even my companion quailed before the awful light, and I +covered my face with my hands. When I withdrew them, the cloud and the +book had vanished, and the contest was begun again--"You have seen the +Prince of this division of hell," said my guide. + +We now began rapidly to descend into the bowels of the earth; and, +after sinking some thousand feet, I found myself on terra firma again, +and walking a little way, we came to a gate of massive ice, over which +was written in vast letters--"My heritage is despair." We passed +through, and immediately found ourselves in a vast basin of lead, +which seemed to meet the horizon on every side. A bright light shone +over the whole region; but it was not like the genial light of the +sun. It chilled me through; and every ray that fell upon me seemed +like the touch of ice. The deepest silence prevailed; and though the +valley was covered with books, not one moved or uttered a sound. I +drew near to one, and I shivered with intense cold as I read upon +it--"Voltaire." "Behold," said the demon, "the hell of infidel books; +the light which emanates from them is the light of reason, and they +are doomed to everlasting torpor." I found it too cold to pursue my +investigations any farther in this region, and I gladly passed on from +the leaden gulf of Infidelity. + +I had no sooner passed the barrier which separated this department +from the next, than I heard a confused sound like the quacking of +myriads of ducks and geese, and a great flapping of wings; of which I +soon saw the cause. "You are in the hell of newspapers," said my +guide. And sure enough, when I looked up I saw thousands of newspapers +flying about with their great wooden back-bones, and the padlock +dangling like a bobtail at the end, flapping their wings and hawking +at each other like mad. After circling about in the air for a little +while, and biting and tearing each other as much as they could, they +plumped down, head first, into a deep black-looking pool, and were +seen no more. "We place these newspapers deeper in hell than the +Infidel publications," said the Devil; "because they are so much more +extensively read, and thereby do much greater mischief. It is a kind +of pest of which there is no end; and we are obliged to allot the +largest portion of our dominions to containing them." + +We now came to an immense pile of a leaden hue, which I found at last +to consist of old worn-out type, which was heaped up to form the wall +of the next division. A monstrous u, turned bottom upwards (in this +way [Symbol: inverted U]) formed the arch of a gateway through which +we passed; and then traversed a draw-bridge, which was thrown across a +river of ink, upon whose banks millions of horrible little demons were +sporting. I presently saw that they were employed in throwing into the +black stream a quantity of books which were heaped up on the shore. As +I looked down into the stream, I saw that they were immediately +devoured by the most hideous and disgusting monsters which were +floundering about there. I looked at one book, which had crawled out +after being thrown into the river; it was dripping with filth, but I +distinguished on the back the words--_Don Juan_. It had hardly climbed +up the bank, however, when one of the demons gave it a kick, and sent +it back into the stream, where it was immediately swallowed. On the +back of some of the books which the little imps were tossing in, I saw +the name of--_Rochester_, which showed me the character of those which +were sent into this division of the infernal regions. + +Beyond this region rose up a vast chain of mountains, which we were +obliged to clamber over. After toiling for a long time, we reached the +summit, and I looked down upon an immense labyrinth built upon the +plain below, in which I saw a great number of large folios, stalking +about in solemn pomp, each followed by a number of small volumes and +pamphlets, like so many pages or footmen watching the beck of their +master. "You behold here," said the demon, "all the false works upon +theology which have been written since the beginning of the Christian +era. They are condemned to wander about to all eternity in the +hopeless maze of this labyrinth, each folio drawing after it all the +minor works to which it gave origin." A faint light shone from these +ponderous tomes; but it was like the shining of a lamp in a thick +mist, shorn of its rays, and illuminating nothing around it. And if my +companion had not held a torch before me, I should not have discerned +the outlines of this department of the Infernal world. As my eye +became somewhat accustomed to the feeble light, I discovered beyond +the labyrinth a thick mist, which appeared to rise from some river or +lake. "That," said my companion, "is the distinct abode of German +Metaphysical works, and other treatises of a similar unintelligible +character. They are all obliged to pass through a press; and if there +is any sense in them, it is thus separated from the mass of nonsense +in which it is imbedded, and is allowed to escape to a better world. +Very few of the works, however, are found to be materially diminished +by passing through the press." We had now crossed the plain, and stood +near the impenetrable fog, which rose up like a wall before us. In +front of it was the press managed by several ugly little demons, and +surrounded by an immense number of volumes of every size and shape, +waiting for the process which all were obliged to undergo. As I was +watching their operations, I saw two very respectable German folios, +with enormous clasps, extended like arms, carrying between them a +little volume, which they were fondling like a pet child with marks of +doting affection. These folios proved to be two of the most abstruse, +learned, and incomprehensible of the metaphysical productions of +Germany; and the bantling which they seemed to embrace with so much +affection, was registered on the back--"_Records of a School_." I did +not find that a single ray of intelligence had been extracted from +either of the two after being subjected to the press. As soon as the +volumes had passed through the operation of yielding up all the little +sense they contained, they plunged into the intense fog, and +disappeared for ever. + +We next approached the verge of a gulf, which appeared to be +bottomless; and there was dreadful noise, like the war of the +elements, and forked flames shooting up from the abyss, which reminded +me of the crater of Vesuvius. "You have now reached the ancient limits +of hell," said the demon, "and you behold beneath your feet the +original chaos on which my domains are founded. But within a few years +we have been obliged to build a yet deeper division beyond the gulf, +to contain a class of books that were unknown in former times." "Pray, +what class can be found," I asked, "worse than those which I have +already seen, and for which it appears hell was not bad enough?" "They +are American re-prints of English publications," replied he, "and they +are generally works of such a despicable character, that they would +have found their way here without being republished; but even where +the original work was good, it is so degenerated by the form under +which it re-appears in America, that its merit is entirely lost, and +it is only fit for the seventh and lowest division of hell." + +I now perceived a bridge spanning over the gulf, with an arch that +seemed as lofty as the firmament. We hastily passed over, and found +that the farthest extremity of the bridge was closed by a gate, over +which was written three words. "They are the names of the three furies +who reign over this division," said my guide. I of course did not +contradict him; but the words looked very much like some I had seen +before; and the more I examined them, the more difficult was it to +convince myself that the inscription was not the same thing as the +sign over a certain publishing house in Philadelphia. + +"These," said the Devil, "are called the three furies of the hell of +books; not from the mischief they do there to the works about them, +but for the unspeakable wrong they did to the same works upon the +earth, by re-printing them in their hideous brown paper editions." As +soon as they beheld me, they rushed towards me with such piteous +accents and heart-moving entreaties, that I would intercede to save +them from their torment, that I was moved with the deepest compassion, +and began to ask my conductor if there were no relief for them. But he +hurried me away, assuring me that they only wanted to sell me some of +their infernal editions, and the idea of owning any such property was +so dreadful that it woke me up directly. + + + + +THE DEVIL'S MOTHER-IN-LAW[16] + +BY FERNAN CABALLERO + + + [16] From _Spanish Fairy Tales_. By Fernan Caballero. + Translated by J. H. Ingram. (Philadelphia, J. B. Lippincott + Co., 1881. By permission of the Publishers.) + +In a town, named Villagananes, there was once an old widow uglier than +the sergeant of Utrera, who was considered as ugly as ugly could be; +drier than hay; older than foot-walking, and more yellow than the +jaundice. Moreover, she had so crossgrained a disposition that Job +himself could not have tolerated her. She had been nicknamed "Mother +Holofernes," and she had only to put her head out of doors to put all +the lads to flight. Mother Holofernes was as clean as a new pin, and +as industrious as an ant, and in these respects suffered no little +vexation on account of her daughter Panfila, who was, on the contrary, +so lazy, and such an admirer of the Quietists, that an earthquake +would not move her. So it came to pass that Mother Holofernes began +quarrelling with her daughter almost from the day that the girl was +born. + +"You are," she said, "as flaccid as Dutch tobacco, and it would take a +couple of oxen to draw you out of your room. You fly work as you would +the pest, and nothing pleases you but the window, you shameless girl. +You are more amorous than Cupid himself, but, if I have any power, you +shall live as close as a nun." + +On hearing all this, Panfila got up, yawned, stretched herself, and +turning her back on her mother, went to the street door. Mother +Holofernes, without paying attention to this, began to sweep with most +tremendous energy, accompanying the noise of the broom with a +monologue of this tenor:-- + +"In my time girls had to work like men." + +The broom gave the accompaniment of _shis_, _shis_, _shis_. + +"And lived as secluded as nuns." + +And the broom went _shis_, _shis_, _shis_. + +"Now they are a pack of fools."--_Shis_, _shis_. + +"Of idlers."--_Shis_, _shis_. + +"And think of nothing but husbands.--_Shis_, _shis_. + +"And are a lot of good-for-nothings." + +The broom following with its chorus. + +By this time she had nearly reached the street door, when she saw her +daughter making signs to a youth; and the handle of the broom, as the +handiest implement, descended upon the shoulders of Panfila, and +effected the miracle of making her run. Next, Mother Holofernes, +grasping the broom, made for the door; but scarcely had the shadow of +her head appeared, than it produced the customary effect, and the +aspirant disappeared so swiftly that it seemed as if he must have had +wings on his feet. + +"Drat that fellow!" shouted the mother; "I should like to break all +the bones in his body." + +"What for? Why should I not think of getting married?" + +"What are you saying? You get married, you fool! not while I live!" + +"Why were you married, madam? and my grandmother? and my great +grandmother?" + +"Nicely I have been repaid for it, by you, you sauce-box! And +understand me, that if I chose to get married, and your grandmother +also, and your great grandmother also, I do not intend that you shall +marry; nor my granddaughter, nor my great granddaughter! Do you hear +me?" + +In these gentle disputes the mother and daughter passed their lives, +without any other result than that the mother grumbled more and more +every day, and the daughter became daily more and more desirous of +getting a husband. + +Upon one occasion, when Mother Holofernes was doing the washing, and +as the lye was on the point of boiling, she had to call her daughter +to help her lift the caldron, in order to pour its contents on to the +tub of clothes. The girl heard her with one ear, but with the other +was listening to a well-known voice which sang in the street:-- + + "I would like to love thee, + Did thy mother let me woo! + May the demon meddle + In all she tries to do!" + +The sound outside being more attractive for Panfila than the caldron +within, she did not hasten to her mother, but went to the window. +Mother Holofernes, meanwhile, seeing that her daughter did not come, +and that time was passing, attempted to lift the caldron by herself, +in order to pour the water upon the linen; and as the good woman was +small, and not very strong, it turned over, and burnt her foot. On +hearing the horrible groans Mother Holofernes made, her daughter went +to her. + +"Wretch, wretch!" cried the enraged Mother Holofernes to her daughter, +"may you love Barabbas! And as for marrying--may Heaven grant you may +marry the Evil One himself!" + +Sometime after this accident an aspirant presented himself: he was a +little man, young, fair, red-haired, well-mannered, and had +well-furnished pockets. He had not a single fault, and Mother +Holofernes was not able to find any in all her arsenal of negatives. +As for Panfila, it wanted little to send her out of her senses with +delight. So the preparations for the wedding were made, with the usual +grumbling accompaniment on the part of the bridegroom's future +mother-in-law. Everything went on smoothly straightforward, and +without a break--like a railroad--when, without knowing why, the +popular voice--a voice which is as the personification of +conscience,--began to rise in a murmur against the stranger, despite +the fact that he was affable, humane, and liberal; that he spoke well +and sang better; and freely took the black and horny hands of the +labourers between his own white and beringed fingers. They began to +feel neither honoured nor overpowered by so much courtesy; his +reasoning was always so coarse, although forcible and logical. + +"By my faith!" said Uncle Blas; "why does this ill-faced gentleman +call me Mr. Blas, as if that would make me any better? What does it +look like to you?" + +"Well, as for me," said Uncle Gil, "did he not come to shake hands +with me as if we had some plot between us? Did he not call me citizen? +I, who have never been out of the village, and never want to go." + +As for Mother Holofernes, the more she saw of her future son-in-law, +the less regard she had for him. It seemed to her that between that +innocent red hair and the cranium were located certain protuberances +of a very curious kind; and she remembered with emotion that +malediction she had uttered against her daughter on that ever +memorable day on which her foot was injured and her washing spoilt. + +At last, the wedding day arrived. Mother Holofernes had made pastry +and reflections--the former sweet, the latter bitter; a great _olla +podrida_ for the food, and a dangerous project for supper; she had +prepared a barrel of wine that was generous, and a line of conduct +that was not. When the bridal pair were about to retire to the nuptial +chamber, Mother Holofernes called her daughter aside, and said: "When +you are in your room, be careful to close the door and windows; shut +all the shutters, and do not leave a single crevice open but the +keyhole of the door. Take with you this branch of consecrated olive, +and beat your husband with it as I advise you; this ceremony is +customary at all marriages, and signifies that the woman is going to +be master, and is followed in order to sanction and establish the +rule." + +Panfila, for the first time obedient to her mother, did everything +that she had prescribed. + +No sooner did the bridegroom espy the branch of consecrated olive in +the hands of his wife, than he attempted to make a precipitous +retreat. But when he found the doors and windows closed, and every +crevice stopped up, seeing no other means of escape than by passing +through the keyhole, he crept into that; this spruce, red-and-white, +and well-spoken bachelor being, as Mother Holofernes had suspected, +neither more nor less than the Evil One himself, who, availing himself +of the right given him by the anathema launched against Panfila by her +mother, thought to amuse himself with the pleasures of a marriage, and +encumber himself with a wife of his own, whilst so many husbands were +supplicating him to take theirs off their hands. + +But this gentleman, despite his reputation for wisdom, had met with a +mother-in-law who knew more than he did; and Mother Holofernes was not +the only specimen of that genus. Therefore, scarcely had his lordship +entered into the keyhole, congratulating himself upon having, as +usual, discovered a method of escape, than he found himself in a +phial, which his foreseeing mother-in-law had ready on the other side +of the door; and no sooner had he got into it than the provident old +dame sealed the vessel hermetically. In a most tender voice, and with +most humble supplications, and most pathetic gestures, her son-in-law +addressed her, and desired that she would grant him his liberty. But +Mother Holofernes was not to be deceived by the demon, nor +disconcerted by orations, nor imposed upon by honeyed words; she took +charge of the bottle and its contents, and went off to a mountain. The +old lady vigorously climbed to the summit of this mountain, and there, +on its most elevated crest, in a rocky and secluded spot, deposited +the phial, taking leave of her son-in-law with a shake of her closed +fist as a farewell greeting. + +And there his lordship remained for ten years. What years those ten +were! The world was as quiet as a pool of oil. Everybody attended to +his own affairs, without meddling in those of other people. Nobody +coveted the position, nor the wife, nor the property of other persons; +theft became a word without signification; arms rusted; powder was +only consumed in fireworks; prisons stood empty; finally, in this +decade of the golden age, only one single deplorable event occurred +... the lawyers died from hunger and quietude. + +Alas! that so happy a time should have an end! But everything has an +end in this world, even the discourses of the most eloquent fathers of +the country. At last the much-to-be-envied decade came to a +termination in the following way. + +A soldier named Briones had obtained permission for a few days' leave +to enable him to visit his native place, which was Villagananes. He +took the road which led to the lofty mountain upon whose summit the +son-in-law of Mother Holofernes was cursing all mothers-in-law, past, +present, and future, promising as soon as ever he regained his power +to put an end to that class of vipers, and by a very simple +method--the abolition of matrimony. Much of his time was spent in +composing and reciting satires against the invention of washing linen, +the primal cause of his present trouble. + +Arrived at the foot of the mountain, Briones did not care to go round +the mountain like the road, but wished to go straight ahead, assuring +the carriers who were with him, that if the mountain would not go to +the right-about for him he would pass over its summit, although it +were so high that he should knock his head against the sky. + +When he reached the summit, Briones was struck with amazement on +seeing the phial borne like a pimple on the nose of the mountain. He +took it up, looked through it, and on perceiving the demon, who with +years of confinement and fasting, the sun's rays, and sadness, had +dwindled and become as dried as a prune, exclaimed in surprise:-- + +"Whatever vermin is this? What a phenomenon!" + +"I am an honourable and meritorious demon," said the captive, humbly +and courteously. "The perversity of a treacherous mother-in-law, into +whose clutches I fell, has held me confined here during the last ten +years; liberate me, valiant warrior, and I will grant any favour you +choose to solicit." + +"I should like my demission from the army," said Briones. + +"You shall have it; but uncork, uncork quickly, for it is a most +monstrous anomaly to have thrust into a corner, in these revolutionary +times, the first revolutionist in the world." + +Briones drew the cork out slightly, and a noxious vapour issued from +the bottle and ascended to his brain. He sneezed, and immediately +replaced the stopper with such a violent blow from his hand that the +cork was suddenly depressed, and the prisoner, squeezed down, gave a +shout of rage and pain. + +"What are you doing, vile earthworm, more malicious and perfidious +than my mother-in-law?" he exclaimed. + +"There is another condition," responded Briones, "that I must add to +our treaty; it appears to me that the service I am going to do you is +worth it." + +"And what is this condition, tardy liberator?" inquired the demon. + +"I should like for thy ransom four dollars daily during the rest of my +life. Think of it, for upon that depends whether you stay in or come +out." + +"Miserable avaricious one!" exclaimed the demon, "I have no money." + +"Oh!" replied Briones, "what an answer from a great lord like you! +Why, friend, that is the Minister of War's answer! If you can't pay me +I cannot help you." + +"Then you do not believe me," said the demon, "only let me out, and I +will aid you to obtain what you want as I have done for many others. +Let me out, I say, let me out." + +"Gently," responded the soldier, "there is nothing to hurry about. +Understand me that I shall have to hold you by the tail until you have +performed your promise to me; and if not, I have nothing more to say +to you." + +"Insolent, do you not trust me then!" shouted the demon. + +"No," responded Briones. + +"What you desire is contrary to my dignity," said the captive, with +all the arrogance that a being of his size could express. + +"Now I must go," said Briones. + +"Good-bye," said the demon, in order not to say _adieu_. + +But seeing that Briones went off, the captive made desperate jumps in +the phial, shouting loudly to the soldier. + +"Return, return, dear friend," he said; and muttered to himself, "I +should like a four-year-old bull to overtake you, you soulless fool!" +and then he shouted, "Come, come, beneficent fellow, liberate me, and +hold me by the tail, or by the nose, valiant warrior;" and then +muttered to himself, "Some one will avenge me, obstinate soldier; and +if the son-in-law of Mother Holofernes is not able to do it, there are +those who will burn you both, face to face, in the same bonfire, or I +have little influence." + +On hearing the demon's supplications Briones returned and uncorked the +bottle. Mother Holofernes's son-in-law came forth like a chick from +its shell, drawing out his head first and then his body, and lastly +his tail, which Briones seized; and the more the demon tried to +contract it the firmer he held it. + +After the ex-captive, who was somewhat cramped, had occasionally +stopped to stretch his arms and legs, they took the road to court, the +demon grumbling and following the soldier, who carried the tail well +secured in his hands. + +On their arrival they went to court, and the demon said to his +liberator:-- + +"I am going to put myself into the body of the princess, who is +extremely beloved by her father, and I shall give her pains that no +doctor will be able to cure; then you present yourself and offer to +cure her, demanding for your recompense four dollars daily, and your +discharge. I will then leave her to you, and our accounts will be +settled." + +Everything happened as arranged and foreseen by the demon, but Briones +did not wish to let go his hold of the tail, and he said:-- + +"Well devised, sir, but four dollars are a ransom unworthy of you, of +me, and of the service that we have undertaken. Find some method of +showing yourself more generous. To do this will give you honour in the +world, where, pardon my frankness, you do not enjoy the best of +characters." + +"Would that I could get rid of you!" said the demon to himself, "but I +am so weak and so numbed that I am not able to go alone. I must have +patience! that which men call a virtue. Oh, now I understand why so +many fall into my power for not having practised it. Forward then for +Naples, for it is necessary to submit in order to liberate my tail. I +must go and submit to the arbitration of fate for the satisfaction of +this new demand." + +Everything succeeded according to his wish. The princess of Naples +fell a victim to convulsive pains and took to her bed. The king was +greatly afflicted. Briones presented himself with all the arrogance +his knowledge that he would receive the demon's aid could give him. +The king was willing to make use of his services, but stipulated that +if within three days he had not cured the princess, as he confidently +promised to, he should be hanged. Briones, certain of a favourable +result, did not raise the slightest objection. + +Unfortunately, the demon heard this arrangement made, and gave a leap +of delight at seeing within his hands the means of avenging himself. + +The demon's leap caused the princess such pain that she begged them to +take the doctor away. + +The following day this scene was repeated. Briones then knew that the +demon was at the bottom of it, and intended to let him be hanged. But +Briones was not a man to lose his head. + +On the third day, when the pretended doctor arrived, they were +erecting the gallows in front of the very palace door. As he entered +the princess's apartment, the invalid's pains were redoubled and she +began to cry out that they should put an end to that impostor. + +"I have not exhausted all my resources yet," said Briones gravely, +"deign, your Royal Highness, to wait a little while." He then went out +of the room and gave orders in the princess's name that all the bells +of the city should be rung. + +When he returned to the royal apartment, the demon, who has a mortal +hatred of the sound of bells, and is, moreover, inquisitive, asked +Briones what the bells were ringing for. + +"They are ringing," responded the soldier, "because of the arrival of +your mother-in-law, whom I have ordered to be summoned." + +Scarcely had the demon heard that his mother-in-law had arrived, than +he flew away with such rapidity that not even a sun's ray could have +caught him. Proud as a peacock, Briones was left in victorious +possession of the field. + + + + +THE GENEROUS GAMBLER[17] + +BY CHARLES PIERRE BAUDELAIRE + + + [17] From _The English Review_, November 1918. By permission + of the Editor and Mr. Arthur Symons. + +Yesterday, across the crowd of the boulevard, I found myself touched +by a mysterious Being I had always desired to know, and who I +recognized immediately, in spite of the fact that I had never seen +him. He had, I imagined, in himself, relatively as to me, a similar +desire, for he gave me, in passing, so significant a sign in his eyes +that I hastened to obey him. I followed him attentively, and soon I +descended behind him into a subterranean dwelling, astonishing to me +as a vision, where shone a luxury of which none of the actual houses +in Paris could give me an approximate example. It seemed to me +singular that I had passed so often that prodigious retreat without +having discovered the entrance. There reigned an exquisite, an almost +stifling atmosphere, which made one forget almost instantaneously all +the fastidious horrors of life; there I breathed a sombre sensuality, +like that of opium-smokers when, set on the shore of an enchanted +island, over which shone an eternal afternoon, they felt born in them, +to the soothing sounds of melodious cascades, the desire of never +again seeing their households, their women, their children, and of +never again being tossed on the decks of ships by storms. + +There were there strange faces of men and women, gifted with so fatal +a beauty that I seemed to have seen them years ago and in countries +which I failed to remember, and which inspired in me that curious +sympathy and that equally curious sense of fear that I usually +discover in unknown aspects. If I wanted to define in some fashion or +other the singular expression of their eyes, I would say that never +had I seen such magic radiance more energetically expressing the +horror of _ennui_ and of desire--of the immortal desire of feeling +themselves alive. + +As for mine host and myself, we were already, as we sat down, as +perfect friends as if we had always known each other. We drank +immeasurably of all sorts of extraordinary wines, and--a thing not +less bizarre--it seemed to me, after several hours, that I was no more +intoxicated than he was. + +However, gambling, this superhuman pleasure, had cut, at various +intervals, our copious libations, and I ought to say that I had gained +and lost my soul, as we were playing, with an heroical carelessness +and light-heartedness. The soul is so invisible a thing, often useless +and sometimes so troublesome, that I did not experience, as to this +loss, more than that kind of emotion I might have, had I lost my +visiting card in the street. + +We spent hours in smoking cigars, whose incomparable savour and +perfume give to the soul the nostalgia of unknown delights and sights, +and, intoxicated by all these spiced sauces, I dared, in an access of +familiarity which did not seem to displease him, to cry, as I lifted +a glass filled to the brim with wine: "To your immortal health, Old +He-Goat!" + +We talked of the universe, of its creation and of its future +destruction; of the leading ideas of the century--that is to say, of +Progress and Perfectibility--and, in general, of all kinds of human +infatuations. On this subject his Highness was inexhaustible in his +irrefutable jests, and he expressed himself with a splendour of +diction and with a magnificence in drollery such as I have never found +in any of the most famous conversationalists of our age. He explained +to me the absurdity of different philosophies that had so far taken +possession of men's brains, and deigned even to take me in confidence +in regard to certain fundamental principles, which I am not inclined +to share with any one. + +He complained in no way of the evil reputation under which he lived, +indeed, all over the world, and he assured me that he himself was of +all living beings the most interested in the destruction of +_Superstition_, and he avowed to me that he had been afraid, +relatively as to his proper power, once only, and that was on the day +when he had heard a preacher, more subtle than the rest of the human +herd, cry in his pulpit: "My dear brethren, do not ever forget, when +you hear the progress of lights praised, that the loveliest trick of +the Devil is to persuade you that he does not exist!" + +The memory of this famous orator brought us naturally on the subject +of Academies, and my strange host declared to me that he didn't +disdain, in many cases, to inspire the pens, the words, and the +consciences of pedagogues, and that he almost always assisted in +person, in spite of being invisible, at all the scientific meetings. + +Encouraged by so much kindness I asked him if he had any news of +God--who has not his hours of impiety?--especially as the old friend +of the Devil. He said to me, with a shade of unconcern united with a +deeper shade of sadness: "We salute each other when we meet." But, for +the rest, he spoke in Hebrew. + +It is uncertain if his Highness has ever given so long an audience to +a simple mortal, and I feared to abuse it. + +Finally, as the dark approached shivering, this famous personage, sung +by so many poets, and served by so many philosophers who work for his +glory's sake without being aware of it, said to me: "I want you to +remember me always, and to prove to you that I--of whom one says so +much evil--am often enough _bon diable_, to make use of one of your +vulgar locutions. So as to make up for the irremediable loss that you +have made of your soul, I shall give you back the stake you ought to +have gained, if your fate had been fortunate--that is to say, the +possibility of solacing and of conquering, during your whole life, +this bizarre affection of _ennui_, which is the source of all your +maladies and of all your miseries. Never a desire shall be formed by +you that I will not aid you to realize; you will reign over your +vulgar equals; money and gold and diamonds, fairy palaces, shall come +to seek you and shall ask you to accept them without your having made +the least effort to obtain them; you can change your abode as often as +you like; you shall have in your power all sensualities without +lassitude, in lands where the climate is always hot, and where the +women are as scented as the flowers." With this he rose up and said +good-bye to me with a charming smile. + +If it had not been for the shame of humiliating myself before so +immense an assembly, I might have voluntarily fallen at the feet of +this generous Gambler, to thank him for his unheard-of munificence. +But, little by little, after I had left him, an incurable defiance +entered into me; I dared no longer believe in so prodigious a +happiness; and as I went to bed, making over again my nightly prayer +by means of all that remained in me in the matter of faith, I repeated +in my slumber: "My God, my Lord, my God! Do let the Devil keep his +word with me!" + + + + +THE THREE LOW MASSES[18] + +A CHRISTMAS STORY + +BY ALPHONSE DAUDET + + + [18] From _The Fig and the Idler, an Algerian Legend, and + Other Stories_, by Alphonse Daudet. London, T. Fisher Unwin, + 1892. (By permission of the Publisher.) + +I + +"Two truffled turkeys, Garrigou?" + +"Yes, your reverence, two magnificent turkeys, stuffed with truffles. +I should know something about it, for I myself helped to fill them. +One would have said their skin would crack as they were roasting, it +is that stretched...." + +"Jesu-Maria! I who like truffles so much!... Quick, give me my +surplice, Garrigou.... And have you seen anything else in the kitchen +besides the turkeys?" + +"Yes, all kinds of good things.... Since noon, we have done nothing +but pluck pheasants, hoopoes, barn-fowls, and woodcocks. Feathers were +flying about all over.... Then they have brought eels, gold carp, and +trout out of the pond, besides...." + +"What size were the trout, Garrigou?" + +"As big as that, your reverence.... Enormous!" + +"Oh heavens! I think I see them.... Have you put the wine in the +vessels?" + +"Yes, your reverence, I have put the wine in the vessels.... But la! +it is not to be compared to what you will drink presently, when the +midnight mass is over. If you only saw that in the dining hall of the +chateau! The decanters are all full of wines glowing with every +colour!... And the silver plate, the chased _epergnes_, the flowers, +the lustres!... Never will such another midnight repast be seen. The +noble marquis has invited all the lords of the neighbourhood. At least +forty of you will sit down to table, without reckoning the farm +bailiff and the notary.... Oh, how lucky is your reverence to be one +of them!... After a mere sniff of those fine turkeys, the scent of +truffles follows me everywhere.... Yum!" + +"Come now, come now, my child. Let us keep from the sin of gluttony, +on the night of the Nativity especially.... Be quick and light the +wax-tapers and ring the first bell for the mass; for it's nearly +midnight and we must not be behind time." + +This conversation took place on a Christmas night in the year of grace +one thousand six hundred and something, between the Reverend Dom +Balaguere (formerly Prior of the Barnabites, now paid chaplain of the +Lords of Trinquelague), and his little clerk Garrigou, or at least him +whom he took for his little clerk Garrigou, for you must know that the +devil had on that night assumed the round face and soft features of +the young sacristan, in order the more effectually to lead the +reverend father into temptation, and make him commit the dreadful sin +of gluttony. Well then, while the supposed Garrigou (hum!) was with +all his might making the bells of the baronial chapel chime out, his +reverence was putting on his chasuble in the little sacristy of the +chateau; and with his mind already agitated by all these gastronomic +descriptions, he kept saying to himself as he was robing: + +"Roasted turkeys, ... golden carp, ... trout as big as that!..." + +Out of doors, the soughing night wind was carrying abroad the music of +the bells, and with this, lights began to make their appearance on the +dark sides of Mount Ventoux, on the summit of which rose the ancient +towers of Trinquelague. The lights were borne by the families of the +tenant farmers, who were coming to hear the midnight mass at the +chateau. They were scaling the hill in groups of five or six together, +and singing; the father in front carrying a lantern, and the women +wrapped up in large brown cloaks, beneath which their little children +snuggled and sheltered. In spite of the cold and the lateness of the +hour these good folks were marching blithely along, cheered by the +thought that after the mass was over there would be, as always in +former years, tables set for them down in the kitchens. Occasionally +the glass windows in some lord's carriage, preceded by torch-bearers, +would glisten in the moon-light on the rough ascent; or perhaps a mule +would jog by with tinkling bells, and by the light of the misty +lanterns the tenants would recognize their bailiff and would salute +him as he passed with: + +"Good evening, Master Arnoton." + +"Good evening. Good evening, my friend." + +The night was clear, and the stars were twinkling with frost; the +north wind was nipping, and at times a fine small hail, that slipped +off one's garments without wetting them, faithfully maintained the +tradition of Christmas being white with snow. On the summit of the +hill, as the goal towards which all were wending, gleamed the chateau, +with its enormous mass of towers and gables, and its chapel steeple +rising into the blue-black sky. A multitude of little lights were +twinkling, coming, going, and moving about at all the windows; they +looked like the sparks one sees running about in the ashes of burnt +paper. + +After you had passed the drawbridge and the postern gate, it was +necessary, in order to reach the chapel, to cross the first court, +which was full of carriages, footmen and sedan chairs, and was quite +illuminated by the blaze of torches and the glare of the kitchen +fires. Here were heard the click of turnspits, the rattle of +sauce-pans, the clash of glasses and silver plate in the commotion +attending the preparation of the feast; while over all rose a warm +vapour smelling pleasantly of roast meat, piquant herbs, and complex +sauces, and which seemed to say to the farmers, as well as to the +chaplain and to the bailiff, and to everybody: + +"What a good midnight repast we are going to have after the mass!" + + +II + +Ting-a-ring!--a--ring! + +The midnight mass is beginning in the chapel of the chateau, which is +a cathedral in miniature, with groined and vaulted roofs, oak +wood-work as high as the walls, expanded draperies, and tapers all +aglow. And what a lot of people! What grand dresses! First of all, +seated in the carved stalls that line the choir, is the Lord of +Trinquelague in a coat of salmon-coloured silk, and about him are +ranged all the noble lords who have been invited. + +On the opposite side, on velvet-covered praying-stools, the old +dowager marchioness in flame-coloured brocade, and the youthful Lady +of Trinquelague wearing a lofty head-dress of plaited lace in the +newest fashion of the French court, have taken their places. Lower +down, dressed in black, with punctilious wigs, and shaven faces, like +two grave notes among the gay silks and the figured damasks, are seen +the bailiff, Thomas Arnoton, and the notary Master Ambroy. Then come +the stout major-domos, the pages, the horsemen, the stewards, Dame +Barbara, with all her keys hanging at her side on a real silver ring. +At the end, on the forms, are the lower class, the female servants, +the cotter farmers and their families; and lastly, down there, near +the door, which they open and shut very carefully, are messieurs the +scullions, who enter in the interval between two sauces, to take a +little whiff of mass; and these bring the smell of the repast with +them into the church, which now is in high festival and warm from the +number of lighted tapers. + +Is it the sight of their little white caps that so distracts the +celebrant? Is it not rather Garrigou's bell? that mad little bell +which is shaken at the altar foot with an infernal impetuosity that +seems all the time to be saying: "Come, let us make haste, make +haste.... The sooner we shall have finished, the sooner shall we be at +table." The fact is that every time this devil's bell tinkles the +chaplain forgets his mass, and thinks of nothing but the midnight +repast. He fancies he sees the cooks bustling about, the stoves +glowing with forge-like fires, the two magnificent turkeys, filled, +crammed, marbled with truffles.... + +Then again he sees, passing along, files of little pages carrying +dishes enveloped in tempting vapours, and with them he enters the +great hall now prepared for the feast. Oh delight! there is the +immense table all laden and luminous, peacocks adorned with their +feathers, pheasants spreading out their reddish-brown wings, +ruby-coloured decanters, pyramids of fruit glowing amid green boughs, +and those wonderful fish Garrigou (ah well, yes, Garrigou!) had +mentioned, laid on a couch of fennel, with their pearly scales +gleaming as if they had just come out of the water, and bunches of +sweet-smelling herbs in their monstrous snouts. So clear is the vision +of these marvels that it seems to Dom Balaguere that all these +wondrous dishes are served before him on the embroidered altar-cloth, +and two or three times instead of the _Dominus vobiscum_, he finds +himself saying the _Benedicite_. Except these slight mistakes, the +worthy man pronounces the service very conscientiously, without +skipping a line, without omitting a genuflexion; and all goes +tolerably well until the end of the first mass; for you know that on +Christmas Day the same officiating priest must celebrate three +consecutive masses. + +"That's one done!" says the chaplain to himself with a sigh of +relief; then, without losing a moment, he motioned to his clerk, or to +him whom he supposed to be his clerk, and... + +"Ting-a-ring ... Ting-a-ring, a-ring!" + +Now the second mass is beginning, and with it begins also Dom +Balaguere's sin. "Quick, quick, let us make haste," Garrigou's bell +cries out to him in its shrill little voice, and this time the unhappy +celebrant, completely given over to the demon of gluttony, fastens +upon the missal and devours its pages with the eagerness of his +over-excited appetite. Frantically he bows down, rises up, merely +indicates the sign of the cross and the genuflexions, and curtails all +his gestures in order to get sooner finished. Scarcely has he +stretched out his arms at the gospel, before he is striking his breast +at the _Confiteor_. It is a contest between himself and the clerk as +to who shall mumble the faster. Versicles and responses are hurried +over and run one into another. The words, half pronounced, without +opening the mouth, which would take up too much time, terminate in +unmeaning murmurs. + +"_Oremus ps ... ps ... ps...._" + +"_Mea culpa ... pa ... pa...._" + +Like vintagers in a hurry pressing grapes in the vat, these two paddle +in the mass Latin, sending splashes in every direction. + +"_Dom ... scum!..._" says Balaguere. + +"_... Stutuo!..._" replies Garrigou; and all the time the cursed +little bell is tinkling there in their ears, like the jingles they put +on post-horses to make them gallop fast. You may imagine at that speed +a low mass is quickly disposed of. + +"That makes two," says the chaplain quite panting; then without taking +time to breathe, red and perspiring, he descends the altar steps +and... + +"Ting-a-ring!... Ting-a-ring!..." + +Now the third mass is beginning. There are but a few more steps to be +taken to reach the dining-hall; but, alas! the nearer the midnight +repast approaches the more does the unfortunate Balaguere feel himself +possessed by mad impatience and gluttony. The vision becomes more +distinct; the golden carps, the roasted turkeys are there, there!... +He touches them, ... he ... oh heavens! The dishes are smoking, the +wines perfume the air; and with furiously agitated clapper, the little +bell is crying out to him: + +"Quick, quick, quicker yet!" + +But how could he go quicker? His lips scarcely move. He no longer +pronounces the words; ... unless he were to impose upon Heaven +outright and trick it out of its mass.... And that is precisely what +he does, the unfortunate man!... From temptation to temptation; he +begins by skipping a verse, then two. Then the epistle is too long--he +does not finish it, skims over the gospel, passes before the _Credo_ +without going into it, skips the _Pater_, salutes the _Preface_ from a +distance, and by leaps and bounds thus hurls himself into eternal +damnation, constantly followed by the vile Garrigou (_vade retro, +Satanas!_), who seconds him with wonderful skill, sustains his +chasuble, turns over the leaves two at a time, elbows the +reading-desks, upsets the vessels, and is continually sounding the +little bell louder and louder, quicker and quicker. + +You should have seen the scared faces of all who were present, as they +were obliged to follow this mass by mere mimicry of the priest, +without hearing a word; some rise when others kneel, and sit down when +the others are standing up, and all the phases of this singular +service are mixed up together in the multitude of different attitudes +presented by the worshippers on the benches.... + +"The _abbe_ goes too fast.... One can't follow him," murmured the old +dowager, shaking her head-dress in confusion. Master Arnoton with +great steel spectacles on his nose is searching in his prayer-book to +find where the dickens they are. But at heart all these good folks, +who themselves are thinking about feasting, are not sorry that the +mass is going on at this post haste; and when Dom Balaguere with +radiant face turns towards those present and cries with all his might: +"_Ite, missa est_," they all respond to him a "_Deo gratias_" in but +one voice, and that as joyous and enthusiastic, as if they thought +themselves already seated at the midnight repast and drinking the +first toast. + + +III + +Five minutes afterwards the crowd of nobles were sitting down in the +great hall, with the chaplain in the midst of them. The chateau, +illuminated from top to bottom, was resounding with songs, with +shouts, with laughter, with uproar; and the venerable Dom Balaguere +was thrusting his fork into the wing of a fowl, and drowning all +remorse for his sin in streams of regal wine and the luscious juices +of the viands. He ate and drank so much, the dear, holy man, that he +died during the night of a terrible attack, without even having had +time to repent; and then in the morning when he got to heaven, I leave +you to imagine how he was received. + +He was told to withdraw on account of his wickedness. His fault was so +grievous that it effaced a whole lifetime of virtue.... He had robbed +them of a midnight mass.... He should have to pay for it with three +hundred, and he should not enter into Paradise until he had celebrated +in his own chapel these three hundred Christmas masses in the presence +of all those who had sinned with him and by his fault.... + +... And now this is the true legend of Dom Balaguere as it is related +in the olive country. At the present time the chateau of Trinquelague +no longer exists, but the chapel still stands on the top of Mount +Ventoux, amid a cluster of green oaks. Its decayed door rattles in the +wind, and its threshold is choked up with vegetation; there are birds' +nests at the corners of the altar, and in the recesses of the lofty +windows, from which the stained glass has long ago disappeared. It +seems, however, that every year at Christmas, a supernatural light +wanders amid these ruins, and the peasants, in going to the masses and +to the midnight repasts, see this phantom of a chapel illuminated by +invisible tapers that burn in the open air, even in snow and wind. You +may laugh at it if you like, but a vine-dresser of the place, named +Garrigue, doubtless a descendant of Garrigou, declared to me that one +Christmas night, when he was a little tipsy, he lost his way on the +hill of Trinquelague; and this is what he saw.... Till eleven +o'clock, nothing. All was silent, motionless, inanimate. Suddenly, +about midnight, a chime sounded from the top of the steeple, an old, +old chime, which seemed as if it were ten leagues off. Very soon +Garrigue saw lights flitting about, and uncertain shadows moving in +the road that climbs the hill. They passed on beneath the chapel +porch, and murmured: + +"Good evening, Master Arnoton!" + +"Good evening, good evening, my friends!" ... + +When all had entered, my vine-dresser, who was very courageous, +silently approached, and when he looked through the broken door, a +singular spectacle met his gaze. All those he had seen pass were +seated round the choir, and in the ruined nave, just as if the old +seats still existed. Fine ladies in brocade, with lace head-dresses; +lords adorned from head to foot; peasants in flowered jackets such as +our grandfathers had; all with an old, faded, dusty, tired look. From +time to time the night birds, the usual inhabitants of the chapel, who +were aroused by all these lights, would come and flit round the +tapers, the flames of which rose straight and ill-defined, as if they +were burning behind a veil; and what amused Garrigue very much was a +certain personage with large steel spectacles, who was ever shaking +his tall black wig, in which one of these birds was quite entangled, +and kept itself upright by noiselessly flapping its wings.... + +At the farther end, a little old man of childish figure was on his +knees in the middle of the choir, desperately shaking a clapperless +and soundless bell, whilst a priest, clad in ancient gold, was coming +and going before the altar, reciting prayers of which not a word was +heard.... Most certainly this was Dom Balaguere in the act of saying +his third low mass. + + + + +DEVIL-PUZZLERS[19] + +BY FREDERICK BEECHER PERKINS + + + [19] By permission of G. P. Putnam's Sons, Publishers. New + York and London. + +It will not do at all to disbelieve in the existence of a personal +devil. It is not so many years ago that one of our profoundest divines +remarked with indignation upon such disbelief. "No such person?" cried +the doctor with energy. "Don't tell me! I can hear his tail snap and +crack about amongst the churches any day!" + +And if the enemy is, in truth, still as vigorously active among the +sons of God as he was in the days of Job (that is to say, in the time +of Solomon, when, as the critics have found out, the Book of Job was +written), then surely still more is he vigilant and sly in his tricks +for foreclosing his mortgages upon the souls of the wicked. + +And once more: still more than ever is his personal appearance +probable in these latter days. The everlasting tooting of the wordy +Cumming has proclaimed the end of all things for a quarter of a +century; and he will surely see his prophecy fulfilled if he can only +keep it up long enough. But, though we discredit the sapient +Second-Adventist as to the precise occasion of the diabolic avatar, +has there not been a strange coincidence between his noisy +declarations, and other evidences of an approximation of the spiritual +to the bodily sphere of life? Is not this same quarter of a century +that of the Spiritists? Has it not witnessed the development of Od? +And of clairvoyance? And have not the doctrines of ghosts, and +re-appearances of the dead, and of messages from them, risen into a +prominence entirely new, and into a coherence and semblance at least +of fact and fixed law such as was never known before? Yea, verily. Of +all times in the world's history, to reject out of one's beliefs +either good spirits or bad, angelology or diabology, chief good being, +or chief bad being, this is the most improper. + +Dr. Hicok was trebly liable to the awful temptation, under which he +had assuredly fallen, over and above the fact that he was a prig, +which makes one feel the more glad that he was so handsomely come up +with in the end; such a prig that everybody who knew him, invariably +called him (when he wasn't by) Hicok-alorum. This charming surname had +been conferred on him by a crazy old fellow with whom he once got into +a dispute. Lunatics have the most awfully tricky ways of dodging out +of pinches in reasoning; but Hicok knew too much to know _that_; and +so he acquired his fine title to teach him one thing more. + +Trebly liable, we said. The three reasons are,-- + + 1. He was foreign-born. + 2. He was a Scotchman. + 3. He was a physician and surgeon. + +The way in which these causes operated was as follows (I wish it were +allowable to use Artemas Ward's curiously satisfactory vocable +"thusly:" like Mrs. Wiggle's soothing syrup, it "supplies a real +want"):-- + +Being foreign-born, Dr. Hicok had not the unfailing moral stamina of a +native American, and therefore was comparatively easily beset by sin. +Being, secondly, a Scotchman, he was not only thoroughly conceited, +with a conceit as immovable as the Bass Rock, just as other folks +sometimes are, but, in particular, he was perfectly sure of his utter +mastery of metaphysics, logic and dialectics, or, as he used to call +it, with a snobbish Teutonicalization, _dialektik_. Now, in the latter +two, the Scotch can do something, but in metaphysics they are simply +imbecile; which quality, in the inscrutable providence of God, has +been joined with an equally complete conviction of the exact opposite. +Let not man, therefore, put those traits asunder--not so much by +reason of any divine ordinance, as because no man in his senses would +try to convince a Scotchman--or anybody else, for that matter. + +Thirdly, he was a physician and surgeon; and gentlemen of this +profession are prone to become either thoroughgoing materialists, or +else implicit and extreme Calvinistic Presbyterians, "of the large +blue kind." And they are, moreover, positive, hard-headed, bold, and +self-confident. So they have good need to be. Did not Majendie say to +his students, "Gentlemen, disease is a subject which physicians know +nothing about"? + +So the doctor both believed in the existence of a personal devil, and +believed in his own ability to get the upper hand of that individual +in a tournament of the wits. Ah, he learned better by terrible +experience! The doctor was a dry-looking little chap, with sandy hair, +a freckled face, small grey eyes, and absurd white eyebrows and +eyelashes, which made him look as if he had finished off his toilet +with just a light flourish from the dredging-box. He was erect of +carriage, and of a prompt, ridiculous alertness of step and motion, +very much like that of Major Wellington De Boots. And his face +commonly wore a kind of complacent serenity such as the Hindoos +ascribe to Buddha. I know a little snappish dentist's-goods dealer up +town, who might be mistaken for Hicok-alorum any day. + +Well, well--what had the doctor done? Why--it will sound absurd, +probably, to some unbelieving people--but really Dr. Hicok confessed +the whole story to me himself: he had made a bargain with the Evil +One! And indeed he was such an uncommonly disagreeable-looking fellow, +that, unless on some such hypothesis, it is impossible to imagine how +he could have prospered as he did. He gained patients, and cured them +too; made money; invested successfully; bought a brown-stone front--a +house, not a wiglet--then bought other real estate; began to put his +name on charity subscription lists, and to be made vice-president of +various things. + +Chiefest of all,--it must have been by some superhuman aid that Dr. +Hicok married his wife, the then and present Mrs. Hicok. Dear me! I +have described the doctor easily enough. But how infinitely more +difficult it is to delineate Beauty than the Beast: did you ever think +of it? All I can say is, that she is a very lovely woman now; and she +must have been, when the doctor married her, one of the loveliest +creatures that ever lived--a lively, graceful, bright-eyed brunette, +with thick fine long black hair, pencilled delicate eyebrows, little +pink ears, thin high nose, great astonished brown eyes, perfect +teeth, a little rosebud of a mouth, and a figure so extremely +beautiful that nobody believed she did not pad--hardly even the +artists who--those of them at least who work faithfully in the +life-school--are the very best judges extant of truth in costume and +personal beauty. But, furthermore, she was good, with the innocent +unconscious goodness of a sweet little child; and of all feminine +charms--even beyond her supreme grace of motion--she possessed the +sweetest, the most resistless--a lovely voice; whose tones, whether in +speech or song, were perfect in sweetness, and with a strange +penetrating sympathetic quality and at the same time with the most +wonderful half-delaying completeness of articulation and modulation, +as if she enjoyed the sound of her own music. No doubt she did; but it +was unconsciously, like a bird. The voice was so sweet, the great +loveliness and kindness of soul it expressed were so deep, that, like +every exquisite beauty, it rayed forth a certain sadness within the +pleasure it gave. It awakened infinite, indistinct emotions of beauty +and perfection--infinite longings. + +It's of no use to tell me that such a spirit--she really ought not to +be noted so low down as amongst human beings--that such a spirit could +have been made glad by becoming the yoke-fellow of Hicok-alorum, by +influences exclusively human. No!--I don't believe it--I won't believe +it--it can't be believed. I can't convince you, of course, for you +don't know her; but if you did, along with the rest of the evidence, +and if your knowledge was like mine, that from the testimony of my +own eyes and ears and judgment--you would know, just as I do, that +the doctor's possession of his wife was the key-stone of the arch of +completed proof on which I found my absolute assertion that he had +made that bargain. + +He certainly had! A most characteristic transaction too; for while, +after the usual fashion, it was agreed by the "party of the first +part,"--viz., Old Scratch--that Dr. Hicok should succeed in whatever +he undertook during twenty years, and by the party of the second part, +that at the end of that time the D---- should fetch him in manner and +form as is ordinarily provided, yet there was added a peculiar clause. +This was, that, when the time came for the doctor to depart, he should +be left entirely whole and unharmed, in mind, body, and estate, +provided he could put to the Devil three consecutive questions, of +which either one should be such that that cunning spirit could not +solve it on the spot. + +So for twenty years Dr. Hicok lived and prospered, and waxed very +great. He did not gain one single pound avoirdupois however, which may +perchance seem strange, but is the most natural thing in the world. +Who ever saw a little, dry, wiry, sandy, freckled man, with white +eyebrows, that did grow fat? And besides, the doctor spent all his +leisure time in hunting up his saving trinity of questions; and hard +study, above all for such a purpose, is as sure an anti-fattener as +Banting. + +He knew the Scotch metaphysicians by heart already, _ex-officio_ as it +were; but he very early gave up the idea of trying to fool the Devil +with such mud-pie as that. Yet be it understood, that he found cause +to except Sir William Hamilton from the muddle-headed crew. He chewed +a good while, and pretty hopefully, upon the Quantification of the +Predicate; but he had to give that up too, when he found out how small +and how dry a meat rattled within the big, noisy nut-shell. He read +Saint Thomas Aquinas, and Peter Dens, and a cartload more of old +casuists, Romanist and Protestant. + +He exhausted the learning of the Development Theory. He studied and +experimented up to the existing limits of knowledge on the question of +the Origin of Life, and then poked out alone, as much farther as he +could, into the ineffable black darkness that is close at the end of +our noses on that, as well as most other questions. He hammered his +way through the whole controversy on the Freedom of the Will. He +mastered the whole works of Mrs. Henry C. Carey on one side, and of +two hundred and fifty English capitalists and American college +professors on the other, on the question of Protection or Free Trade. +He made, with vast pains, an extensive collection of the questions +proposed at debating societies and college-students' societies with +long Greek names. The last effort was a failure. Dr. Hicok had got the +idea, that, from the spontaneous activity of so many free young +geniuses, many wondrous and suggestive thoughts would be born. Having, +however, tabulated his collection, he found, that, among all these +innumerable gymnasia of intellect, there were only seventeen questions +debated! The doctor read me a curious little memorandum of his +conclusions on this unexpected fact, which will perhaps be printed +some day. + +He investigated many other things too; for a sharp-witted little +Presbyterian Scotch doctor, working to cheat the Devil out of his +soul, can accomplish an amazing deal in twenty years. He even went so +far as to take into consideration mere humbugs; for, if he could cheat +the enemy with a humbug, why not? The only pain in that case, would be +the mortification of having stooped to an inadequate adversary--a +foeman unworthy of his steel. So he weighed such queries as the old +scholastic _brocard, An chimoera bombinans in vacuo devorat secundas +intentiones?_ and that beautiful moot point wherewith Sir Thomas More +silenced the challenging schoolmen of Bruges, _An averia carrucae +capta in vetito nomio sint irreplegibilia?_ + +He glanced a little at the subject of conundrums; and among the chips +from his workshop is a really clever theory of conundrums. He has a +classification and discussion of them, all his own, and quite +ingenious and satisfactory, which divides them into answerable and +unanswerable, and, under each of these, into resemblant and +differential. + +For instance: let the four classes be distinguished with the initials +of those four terms, A. R., A. D., U. R., and U. D.; you will find +that the Infinite Possible Conundrum (so to speak) can always be +reduced under one of those four heads. Using symbols, as they do in +discussing syllogism--indeed, by the way, a conundrum is only a +jocular variation in the syllogism, an intentional fallacy for fun +(read Whately's _Logic_, Book III., and see if it isn't so)--using +symbols, I say, you have these four "figures:"-- + +I. (A. R.) Why is A like B? (answerable): as, Why is a gentleman who +gives a young lady a young dog, like a person who rides rapidly up +hill? A. Because he gives a gallop up (gal-a-pup). + +_Sub-variety_; depending upon a violation of something like the +"principle of excluded middle," a very fallacy of a fallacy; such as +the ancient "nigger-minstrel!" case, Why is an elephant like a brick? +A. Because neither of them can climb a tree. + +II. (A. D.) Why is A _unlike_ B? (answerable) usually put thus: What +is the difference between A and B? (Figure I., if worded in the same +style, would become: What is the similarity between A and B?): as, +What is the difference between the old United-States Bank and the +Fulton Ferry-boat signals in thick weather? A. One is a fog whistle, +and the other is a Whig fossil. + +III. (U. R.) Why is A like B? (unanswerable): as Charles Lamb's +well-known question, Is that your own hare, or a wig? + +IV. (U. D.) Why is A _unlike_ B? (unanswerable): i. e., What is the +difference, &c, as, What is the difference between a fac simile and a +sick family; or between hydraulics and raw-hide licks? + +But let me not diverge too far into frivolity. All the hopefully +difficult questions Dr. Hicok set down and classified. He compiled a +set of rules on the subject, and indeed developed a whole philosophy +of it, by which he struck off, as soluble, questions or classes of +them. Some he thought out himself; others were now and then answered +in some learned book, that led the way through the very heart of one +or another of his biggest mill-stones. + +So it was really none too much time that he had; and, in truth, he did +not actually decide upon his three questions, until just a week before +the fearful day when he was to put them. + +It came at last, as every day of reckoning surely comes; and Dr. +Hicok, memorandum in hand, sat in his comfortable library about three +o'clock on one beautiful warm summer afternoon, as pale as a sheet, +his heart thumping away like Mr. Krupp's biggest steam-hammer at +Essen, his mouth and tongue parched and feverish, a pitcher of cold +water at hand from which he sipped and sipped, though it seemed as if +his throat repelled it into "the globular state," or dispersed it into +steam, as red-hot iron does. Around him were the records of the vast +army of doubters and quibblers in whose works he had been hunting, as +a traveller labours through a jungle, for the deepest doubts, the most +remote inquiries. + +Sometimes, with that sort of hardihood, rather than reason, which +makes a desperate man try to believe by his will what he longs to know +to be true, Dr. Hicok would say to himself, "I know I've got him!" And +then his heart would seem to fall out of him, it sank so suddenly, and +with so deadly a faintness, as the other side of his awful case loomed +before him, and he thought, "But if--?" He would not finish _that_ +question; he could not. The furthest point to which he could bring +himself was that of a sort of icy outer stiffening of acquiescence in +the inevitable. + +There was a ring at the street-door. The servant brought in a card, on +a silver salver. + + +-----------------+ + | MR. APOLLO LYON | + +-----------------+ + +"Show the gentleman in," said the doctor. He spoke with difficulty; +for the effort to control his own nervous excitement was so immense an +exertion, that he hardly had the self-command and muscular energy even +to articulate. + +The servant returned, and ushered into the library a handsome, +youngish, middle-aged and middle-sized gentleman, pale, with large +melancholy black eyes, and dressed in the most perfect and quiet +style. + +The doctor arose, and greeted his visitor with a degree of steadiness +and politeness that did him the greatest credit. + +"How do you do, sir?" he said: "I am happy"--but it struck him that he +wasn't, and he stopped short. + +"Very right, my dear sir," replied the guest, in a voice that was +musical but perceptibly sad, or rather patient in tone. "Very right; +how hollow those formulas are! I hate all forms and ceremonies! But I +am glad to see _you_, doctor. Now, that is really the fact." + +No doubt! "Divil doubt him!" as an Irishman would say. So is a cat +glad to see a mouse in its paw. Something like these thoughts arose in +the doctor's mind; he smiled as affably as he could, and requested the +visitor to be seated. + +"Thanks!" replied he, and took the chair which the doctor moved up to +the table for him. He placed his hat and gloves on the table. There +was a brief pause, as might happen if any two friends sat down at +their ease for a chat on matters and things in general. The visitor +turned over a volume or two that lay on the table. + +"The Devil," he read from one of them; "His Origin, Greatness, and +Decadence. By the Rev. A. Reville, D.D." + +"Ah!" he commented quietly. "A Frenchman, I observe. If it had been an +Englishman, I should fancy he wrote the book for the sake of the rhyme +in the title. Do you know, doctor, I fancy that incredulity of his +will substitute one dash for the two periods in the reverend +gentleman's degree! I know no one greater condition of success in some +lines of operation, than to have one's existence thoroughly +disbelieved in." + +The doctor forced himself to reply: "I hardly know how I came to have +the book here. Yet he does make out a pretty strong case. I confess I +would like to be certified that he is right. Suppose you allow +yourself to be convinced?" And the poor fellow grinned: it couldn't be +called a smile. + +"Why, really, I'll look into it. I've considered the point though, not +that I'm sure I could choose. And you know, as the late J. Milton very +neatly observed, one would hardly like to lose one's intellectual +being, 'though full of pain;'" and he smiled, not unkindly but sadly, +and then resumed: "A Bible too. Very good edition. I remember seeing +it stated that a professional person made it his business to find +errors of the press in one of the Bible Society's editions--this very +one, I think; and the only one he could discover was a single 'wrong +font.' Very accurate work--very!" + +He had been turning over the leaves indifferently as he spoke, and +laid the volume easily back. "Curious old superstition that," he +remarked, "that certain personages were made uncomfortable by this +work!" And he gave the doctor a glance, as much as to ask, in the most +delicate manner in the world, "Did you put that there to scare me +with?" + +I think the doctor blushed a little. He had not really expected, you +know,--still, in case there should be any prophylactic influence--? No +harm done, in any event; and that was precisely the observation made +by the guest. + +"No harm done, my dear fellow!" he said, in his calm, quiet, musical +voice. No good, either, I imagine they both of them added to +themselves. + +There is an often repeated observation, that people under the pressure +of an immeasurable misery or agony seem to take on a preternaturally +sharp vision for minute details, such as spots in the carpet, and +sprigs in the wall-paper, threads on a sleeve, and the like. Probably +the doctor felt this influence. He had dallied a little, too, with the +crisis; and so did his visitor--from different motives, no doubt; and, +as he sat there, his eye fell on the card that had just been brought +to him. + +"I beg your pardon," he said; "but might I ask a question about your +card?" + +"Most certainly, doctor: what is it?" + +"Why--it's always a liberty to ask questions about a gentleman's name, +and we Scotchmen are particularly sensitive on the point; but I have +always been interested in the general subject of patronomatology." + +The other, by a friendly smile and a deprecating wave of the hand, +renewed his welcome to the doctor's question. + +"Well, it's this: How did you come to decide upon that form of +name--Mr. Apollo Lyon?" + +"Oh! just a little fancy of mine. It's a newly-invented variable card, +I believe they call it. There's a temporary ink arrangement. It struck +me it was liable to abuse in case of an assumption of _aliases_; but +perhaps that's none of my business. You can easily take off the upper +name, and another one comes out underneath. I'm always interested in +inventions. See." + +And as the text, "But they have sought out many inventions," passed +through Dr. Hicok's mind, the other drew forth a white handkerchief, +and, rubbing the card in a careless sort of way, laid it down before +the doctor. Perhaps the strain on the poor doctor's nerves was +unsteadying him by this time: he may not have seen right; but he +seemed to see only one name, as if compounded from the former two. + + +------------+ + | APOLLYON | + +------------+ + +And it seemed to be in red ink instead of black; and the lines seemed +to creep and throb and glow, as if the red were the red of fire, +instead of vermilion. But red is an extremely trying colour to the +eyes. However, the doctor, startled as he was, thought best not to +raise any further queries, and only said, perhaps with some +difficulty, "Very curious, I'm sure!" + +"Well, doctor," said Mr. Lyon, or whatever his name was, "I don't want +to hurry you, but I suppose we might as well have our little business +over?" + +"Why, yes. I suppose you wouldn't care to consider any question of +compromises or substitutes?" + +"I fear it's out of the question, really," was the reply, most kindly +in tone, but with perfect distinctness. + +There was a moment's silence. It seemed to Dr. Hicok as if the beating +of his heart must fill the room, it struck so heavily, and the blood +seemed to surge with so loud a rush through the carotids up past his +ears. "Shall I be found to have gone off with a rush of blood to the +head?" he thought to himself. But--it can very often be done by a +resolute effort--he gathered himself together as it were, and with one +powerful exertion mastered his disordered nerves. Then he lifted his +memorandum, gave one glance at the sad, calm face opposite him, and +spoke. + +"You know they're every once in a while explaining a vote, as they +call it, in Congress. It don't make any difference, I know; but it +seems to me as if I should put you more fully in possession of my +meaning, if I should just say a word or two, about the reasons for my +selection." + +The visitor bowed with his usual air of pleasant acquiescence. + +"I am aware," said Dr. Hicok, "that my selection would seem thoroughly +commonplace to most people. Yet nobody knows better than you do, my +dear sir, that the oldest questions are the newest. The same vitality +which is so strong in them, as to raise them as soon as thought +begins, is infinite, and maintains them as long as thought endures. +Indeed, I may say to you frankly, that it is by no means on novelty, +but rather on antiquity, that I rely." + +The doctor's hearer bowed with an air of approving interest. "Very +justly reasoned," he observed. The doctor went on-- + +"I have, I may say--and under the circumstances I shall not be +suspected of conceit--made pretty much the complete circuit of +unsolved problems. They class exactly as those questions do which we +habitually reckon as solved: under the three subjects to which they +relate--God, the intelligent creation, the unintelligent creation. +Now, I have selected my questions accordingly--one for each of those +divisions. Whether I have succeeded in satisfying the conditions +necessary will appear quickly. But you see that I have not stooped to +any quibbling, or begging either. I have sought to protect myself by +the honourable use of a masculine reason." + +"Your observations interest me greatly," remarked the audience. "Not +the less so, that they are so accurately coincident with my own +habitual lines of thought--at least, so far as I can judge from what +you have said. Indeed, suppose you had called upon me to help you +prepare insoluble problems. I was bound, I suppose, to comply to the +best of my ability; and, if I had done so, those statements of yours +are thus far the very preface I supplied--I beg your pardon--should +have supplied--you with. I fancy I could almost state the questions. +Well?"-- + +All this was most kind and complimentary; but somehow it did not +encourage the doctor in the least. He even fancied that he detected a +sneer, as if his interlocutor had been saying, "Flutter away, old +bird! That was _my bait_ that you have been feeding on: you're safe +enough; it is my net that holds you." + +"_First Question_," said Dr. Hicok, with steadiness: "Reconcile the +foreknowledge and the fore-ordination of God with the free will of +man?" + +"I thought so, of course," remarked the other. Then he looked straight +into the doctor's keen little grey eyes with his deep melancholy black +ones, and raised his slender fore-finger. "Most readily. The +reconciliation is _your own conscience_, doctor! Do what you know to +be right, and you will find that there is nothing to reconcile--that +you and your Maker have no debates to settle!" + +The words were spoken with a weighty solemnity and conviction that +were even awful. The doctor had a conscience, though he had found +himself practically forced, for the sake of success, to use a good +deal of constraint with it--in fact, to lock it up, as it were, in a +private mad-house, on an unfounded charge of lunacy. But the obstinate +thing would not die, and would not lose its wits; and now all of a +sudden, and from the very last quarter where it was to be expected, +came a summons before whose intensity of just requirement no bolts +could stand. The doctor's conscience walked out of her prison, and +came straight up to the field of battle, and said-- + +"Give up the first question." + +And he obeyed. + +"I confess it," he said. "But how could I have expected a great basic +truth both religiously and psychologically so, from--from _you_?" + +"Ah! my dear sir," was the reply, "you have erred in _that_ line of +thought, exactly as many others have. The truth is one and the same, +to God, man, and devil." + +"_Second Question_," said Dr. Hicok. "Reconcile the development +theory, connection of natural selection and sexual relation, with the +responsible immortality of the soul." + +"Unquestionably," assented the other, as if to say, "Just as I +expected." + +"No theory of creation has any logical connection with any doctrine of +immortality. What was the motive of creation?--_that_ would be a +question! If you had asked me _that_! But the question, 'Where did men +come from?' has no bearing on the question, 'Have they any duties now +that they are here?' The two are reconciled, because they do not +differ. You can't state any inconsistency between a yard measure and a +fifty-six pound weight." + +The doctor nodded; he sat down; he took a glass of water, and pressed +his hand to his heart. "Now, then," he said to himself, "once more! If +I have to stand this fifteen minutes I shall be in _some_ other +world!" + +The door from the inner room opened; and Mrs. Hicok came singing in, +carrying balanced upon her pretty pink fore-finger something or other +of an airy bouquet-like fabric. Upon this she was looking with much +delight. + +"See, dear!" she said: "how perfectly lovely!" + +Both gentlemen started, and the lady started too. She had not known of +the visit; and she had not, until this instant, seen that her husband +was not alone. + +Dr. Hicok, of course, had never given her the key to his +skeleton-closet; for he was a shrewd man. He loved her too; and he +thought he had provided for her absence during the ordeal. She had +executed her shopping with unprecedented speed. + +Why the visitor started, would be difficult to say. Perhaps her voice +startled him. The happy music in it was enough like a beautified +duplicate of his own thrilling sweet tones, to have made him +acknowledge her for a sister--from heaven. He started, at any rate. + +"Mr. Lyon, my wife," said the doctor, somewhat at a loss. Mr. Lyon +bowed, and so did the lady. + +"I beg your pardon, gentlemen, I am sure," she said. "I did not know +you were busy, dear. There is a thunder-shower coming up. I drove home +just in season." + +"Oh!--only a little wager, about some conundrums," said the doctor. +Perhaps he may be excused for his fib. He did not want to annoy her +unnecessarily. + +"Oh, do let me know!" she said, with much eagerness. "You know how I +enjoy them!" + +"Well," said the doctor, "not exactly the ordinary kind. I was to +puzzle my friend here with one out of three questions; and he has +beaten me in two of them already. I've but one more chance." + +"Only one?" she asked, with a smile. "What a bright man your friend +must be! I thought nobody could puzzle you, dear. Stay; let _me_ ask +the other question." + +Both the gentlemen started again: it was quite a surprise. + +"But are you a married man, Mr. Lyon?" she asked, with a blush. + +"No, madam," was the reply, with a very graceful bow--"I have a +mother, but no wife. Permit me to say, that, if I could believe there +was a duplicate of yourself in existence, I would be as soon as +possible." + +"Oh, what a gallant speech!" said the lady. "Thank you, sir, very +much;" and she made him a pretty little curtsy. "Then I am quite sure +of my question, sir. Shall I, dear?" + +The doctor quickly decided. "I am done for, anyhow," he reflected. "I +begin to see that the old villain put those questions into my head +himself. He hinted as much. I don't know but I'd rather she would ask +it. It's better to have her kill me, I guess, than to hold out the +carving-knife to him myself." + +"With all my heart, my dear," said the doctor, "if Mr. Lyon consents." + +Mr. Lyon looked a little disturbed; but his manner was perfect, as he +replied that he regretted to seem to disoblige, but that he feared the +conditions of their little bet would not allow it. + +"Beg your pardon, I'm sure, for being so uncivil," said the lively +little beauty, as she whispered a few words in her husband's ear. + +This is what she said-- + +"What's mine's yours, dear. Take it. Ask him--buz, buzz, buzz." + +The doctor nodded. Mrs. Hicok stood by him and smiled, still holding +in her pretty pink fore-finger the frail shimmering thing just +mentioned; and she gave it a twirl, so that it swung quite round. +"Isn't it a love of a bonnet?" she said. + +"Yes," the doctor said aloud. "I adopt the question." + +"_Third Question. Which is the front side of this?_" + +And he pointed to the bonnet. It must have been a bonnet, because Mrs. +Hicok called it so. I shouldn't have known it from the collection of +things in a kaleidoscope, bunched up together. + +The lady stood before him, and twirled the wondrous fabric round and +round, with the prettiest possible unconscious roguish look of +defiance. The doctor's very heart stood still. + +"Put it on, please," said Mr. Lyon, in the most innocent way in the +world. + +"Oh, no!" laughed she. "I know I'm only a woman, but I'm not _quite_ +so silly! But I'll tell you what: you men put it on, if you think that +will help you!" And she held out the mystery to him. + +Confident in his powers of discrimination, Mr. Lyon took hold of the +fairy-like combination of sparkles and threads and feathers and +flowers, touching it with that sort of timid apprehension that +bachelors use with a baby. He stood before the glass over the +mantelpiece. First he put it across his head with one side in front, +and then with the other. Then he put it lengthways of his head, and +tried the effect of tying one of the two couples of strings under each +of his ears. Then he put it on, the other side up; so that it swam on +his head like a boat, with a high mounted bow and stern. More than +once he did all this, with obvious care and thoughtfulness. + +Then he came slowly back, and resumed his seat. It was growing very +dark, though they had not noticed it; for the thunder-shower had been +hurrying on, and already its advanced guard of wind, heavy laden with +the smell of the rain, could be heard, and a few large drops splashed +on the window. + +The beautiful wife of the doctor laughed merrily to watch the growing +discomposure of the visitor, who returned the bonnet, with +undiminished courtesy, but with obvious constraint of manner. + +He looked down; he drummed on the table; he looked up; and both the +doctor and the doctor's wife were startled at the intense sudden anger +in the dark, handsome face. Then he sprang up, and went to the window. +He looked out a moment, and then said-- + +"Upon my word, that is going to be a very sharp squall! The clouds are +_very_ heavy. If I'm any judge, something will be struck. I can feel +the electricity in the air." + +While he still spoke, the first thunder-bolt crashed overhead. It was +one of those close, sudden, overpoweringly awful explosions from +clouds very heavy and very near, where the lightning and the thunder +leap together out of the very air close about you, even as if you were +in them. It was an unendurable burst of sound, and of the intense +white sheety light of very near lightning. Dreadfully frightened, the +poor little lady clung close to her husband. He, poor man, if possible +yet more frightened, exhausted as he was by what he had been enduring, +fainted dead away. Don't blame him: a cast-iron bull-dog might have +fainted. + +Mrs. Hicok, thinking that her husband was struck dead by the +lightning, screamed terribly. Then she touched him; and, seeing what +was really the matter, administered cold water from the pitcher on the +table. Shortly he revived. + +"Where is he?" he said. + +"I don't know, love. I thought you were dead. He must have gone away. +Did it strike the house?" + +"Gone away? Thank God! Thank _you_, dear!" cried out the doctor. + +Not knowing any adequate cause for so much emotion, she answered him-- + +"Now, love, don't you ever say women are not practical again. That was +a practical question, you see. But didn't it strike the house? What a +queer smell. Ozone: isn't that what you were telling me about? How +funny, that lightning should have a smell!" + +"I believe there's no doubt of it," observed Dr. Hicok. + +Mr. Apollo Lyon had really gone, though just how or when, nobody could +say. + +"My dear," said Dr. Hicok, "I do so like that bonnet of yours! I don't +wonder it puzzled him. It would puzzle the Devil himself. I firmly +believe I shall call it your Devil-puzzler." + +But he never told her what the puzzle had been. + + + + +THE DEVIL'S ROUND[20] + +A TALE OF FLEMISH GOLF + +BY CHARLES DEULIN + + + [20] From _Longman's Magazine_, vol. xiv. [Copyright 1889 by + Longmans, Green & Co., London & New York. By permission of + the Publishers.] + + [The following story, translated by Miss Isabel Bruce from + _Le Grand Choleur_ of M. Charles Deulin (_Contes du Roi + Gambrinus_), gives a great deal of information about French + and Flemish golf. As any reader will see, this ancient game + represents a stage of evolution between golf and hockey. The + object is to strike a ball, in as few strokes as possible, + to a given point; but, after every three strokes, the + opponent is allowed to _decholer_, or make one stroke back, + or into a hazard. Here the element of hockey comes in. Get + rid of this element, let each man hit his own ball, and, in + place of striking to a point--say, the cemetery gate--let + men "putt" into holes, and the Flemish game becomes golf. It + is of great antiquity. Ducange, in his Lexicon of Low Latin, + gives _Choulla_, French _choule_ = "Globulus ligneus qui + clava propellitur"--a wooden ball struck with a club. The + head of the club was of iron (cf. _crossare_). This is borne + out by a miniature in a missal of 1504, which represents + peasants playing _choule_ with clubs very like niblicks. + Ducange quotes various MS. references of 1353, 1357, and + other dates older by a century than our earliest Scotch + references to golf. At present the game is played in Belgium + with a strangely-shaped lofting-iron and a ball of + beechwood. M. Zola (_Germinal_, p. 310) represents his + miners playing _chole_, or _choulle_, and says that they hit + drives of more than 500 yards. Experiments made at Wimbledon + with a Belgian club sent over by M. Charles Michel suggest + that M. Zola has over-estimated the distance. But M. Zola + and M. Deulin agree in making the players _run_ after the + ball. M. Henri Gaidoz adds that a similar game, called + _soule_, is played in various departments of France. He + refers to Laisnel de la Salle. The name _chole_ may be + connected with German _Kolbe_, and _golf_ may be the form + which this word would assume in a Celtic language. All this + makes golf very old; but the question arises, Are the + "holes" to which golfers play of Scotch or of Dutch origin? + There are several old Flemish pictures of golf; do any of + them show players in the act of "holing out"? There is said + to be such a picture at Neuchatel. + + A. LANG.] + + +I + +Once upon a time there lived at the hamlet of Coq, near +Conde-sur-l'Escaut, a wheelwright called Roger. He was a good fellow, +untiring both at his sport and at his toil, and as skilful in lofting +a ball with a stroke of his club as in putting together a cartwheel. +Every one knows that the game of golf consists in driving towards a +given point a ball of cherrywood with a club which has for head a sort +of little iron shoe without a heel. + +For my part, I do not know a more amusing game; and when the country +is almost cleared of the harvest, men, women, children, everybody, +drives his ball as you please, and there is nothing cheerier than to +see them filing on a Sunday like a flight of starlings across potato +fields and ploughed lands. + + +II + +Well, one Tuesday, it was a Shrove Tuesday, the wheelwright of Coq +laid aside his plane, and was slipping on his blouse to go and drink +his can of beer at Conde, when two strangers came in, club in hand. + +"Would you put a new shaft to my club, master?" said one of them. + +"What are you asking me, friends? A day like this! I wouldn't give the +smallest stroke of the chisel for a brick of gold. Besides, does any +one play golf on Shrove Tuesday? You had much better go and see the +mummers tumbling in the high street of Conde." + +"We take no interest in the tumbling of mummers," replied the +stranger. "We have challenged each other at golf and we want to play +it out. Come, you won't refuse to help us, you who are said to be one +of the finest players of the country?" + +"If it is a match, that is different," said Roger. + +He turned up his sleeves, hooked on his apron, and in the twinkling of +an eye had adjusted the shaft. + +"How much do I owe you?" asked the unknown, drawing out his purse. + +"Nothing at all, faith; it is not worth while." + +The stranger insisted, but in vain. + + +III + +"You are too honest, i'faith," said he to the wheelwright, "for me to +be in your debt. I will grant you the fulfilment of three wishes." + +"Don't forget to wish what is _best_," added his companion. + +At these words the wheelwright smiled incredulously. + +"Are you not a couple of the loafers of Capelette?" he asked, with a +wink. + +The idlers of the crossways of Capelette were considered the wildest +wags in Conde. + +"Whom do you take us for?" replied the unknown in a tone of severity, +and with his club he touched an axle, made of iron, which instantly +changed into one of pure silver. + +"Who are you, then," cried Roger, "that your word is as good as ready +money?" + +"I am St. Peter, and my companion is St. Antony, the patron of +golfers." + +"Take the trouble to walk in, gentlemen," said the wheelwright of Coq; +and he ushered the two saints into the back parlour. He offered them +chairs, and went to draw a jug of beer in the cellar. They clinked +their glasses together, and after each had lit his pipe: + +"Since you are so good, sir saints," said Roger, "as to grant me the +accomplishment of three wishes, know that for a long while I have +desired three things. I wish, first of all, that whoever seats himself +upon the elm-trunk at my door may not be able to rise without my +permission. I like company and it bores me to be always alone." + +St. Peter shook his head and St. Antony nudged his client. + + +IV + +"When I play a game of cards, on Sunday evening, at the 'Fighting +Cock,'" continued the wheelwright, "it is no sooner nine o'clock than +the garde-champetre comes to chuck us out. I desire that whoever shall +have his feet on my leathern apron cannot be driven from the place +where I shall have spread it." + +St. Peter shook his head, and St. Antony, with a solemn air, repeated: + +"Don't forget what is _best_." + +"What is best," replied the wheelwright of Coq, nobly, "is to be the +first golfer in the world. Every time I find my master at golf it +turns my blood as black as the inside of the chimney. So I want a club +that will carry the ball as high as the belfry of Conde, and will +infallibly win me my match." + +"So be it," said St. Peter. + +"You would have done better," said St. Antony, "to have asked for your +eternal salvation." + +"Bah!" replied the other. "I have plenty of time to think of that; I +am not yet greasing my boots for the long journey." + +The two saints went out and Roger followed them, curious to be present +at such a rare game; but suddenly, near the Chapel of St. Antony, they +disappeared. + +The wheelwright then went to see the mummers tumbling in the high +street of Conde. + +When he returned, towards midnight, he found at the corner of his door +the desired club. To his great surprise it was only a bad little iron +head attached to a wretched worn-out shaft. Nevertheless he took the +gift of St. Peter and put it carefully away. + + +V + +Next morning the Condeens scattered in crowds over the country, to +play golf, eat red herrings, and drink beer, so as to scatter the +fumes of wine from their heads and to revive after the fatigues of the +Carnival. The wheelwright of Coq came too, with his miserable club, +and made such fine strokes that all the players left their games to +see him play. The following Sunday he proved still more expert; little +by little his fame spread through the land. From ten leagues round the +most skilful players hastened to come and be beaten, and it was then +that he was named the Great Golfer. + +He passed the whole Sunday in golfing, and in the evening he rested +himself by playing a game of matrimony at the "Fighting Cock." He +spread his apron under the feet of the players, and the devil himself +could not have put them out of the tavern, much less the rural +policeman. On Monday morning he stopped the pilgrims who were going to +worship at Notre Dame de Bon Secours; he induced them to rest +themselves upon his _causeuse_, and did not let them go before he had +confessed them well. + +In short, he led the most agreeable life that a good Fleming can +imagine, and only regretted one thing--namely, that he had not wished +it might last for ever. + + +VI + +Well, it happened one day that the strongest player of Mons, who was +called Paternostre, was found dead on the edge of a bunker. His head +was broken, and near him was his niblick, red with blood. + +They could not tell who had done this business, and as Paternostre +often said that at golf he feared neither man nor devil, it occurred +to them that he had challenged Mynheer van Belzebuth, and that as a +punishment for this he had knocked him on the head. Mynheer van +Belzebuth is, as every one knows, the greatest gamester that there is +upon or under the earth, but the game he particularly affects is golf. +When he goes his round in Flanders one always meets him, club in hand, +like a true Fleming. + +The wheelwright of Coq was very fond of Paternostre, who, next to +himself, was the best golfer in the country. He went to his funeral +with some golfers from the hamlets of Coq, La Cigogne, and La Queue de +l'Ayache. + +On returning from the cemetery they went to the tavern to drink, as +they say, to the memory of the dead,[21] and there they lost +themselves in talk about the noble game of golf. When they separated, +in the dusk of evening: + + [21] _Boire la cervelle du mort._ + +"A good journey to you," said the Belgian players, "and may St. +Antony, the patron of golfers, preserve you from meeting the devil on +the way!" + +"What do I care for the devil?" replied Roger. "If he challenged me I +should soon beat him!" + +The companions trotted from tavern to tavern without misadventure; but +the wolf-bell had long tolled for retiring in the belfry of Conde when +they returned each one to his own den. + + +VII + +As he was putting the key into the lock the wheelwright thought he +heard a shout of mocking laughter. He turned, and saw in the darkness +a man six feet high, who again burst out laughing. + +"What are you laughing at?" said he, crossly. + +"At what? Why, at the _aplomb_ with which you boasted a little while +ago that you would dare measure yourself against the devil." + +"Why not, if he challenged me?" + +"Very well, my master, bring your clubs. I challenge you!" said +Mynheer van Belzebuth, for it was himself. Roger recognized him by a +certain odour of sulphur that always hangs about his majesty. + +"What shall the stake be?" he asked resolutely. + +"Your soul?" + +"Against what?" + +"Whatever you please." + +The wheelwright reflected. + +"What have you there in your sack?" + +"My spoils of the week." + +"Is the soul of Paternostre among them?" + +"To be sure! and those of five other golfers; dead, like him, without +confession." + +"I play you my soul against that of Paternostre." + +"Done!" + + +VIII + +The two adversaries repaired to the adjoining field and chose for +their goal the door of the cemetery of Conde.[22] Belzebuth teed a +ball on a frozen heap, after which he said, according to custom: + + [22] They play to points, not holes. + +"From here, as you lie, in how many turns of three strokes will you +run in?" + +"In two," replied the great golfer. + +And his adversary was not a little surprised, for from there to the +cemetery was nearly a quarter of a league. + +"But how shall we see the ball?" continued the wheelwright. + +"True!" said Belzebuth. + +He touched the ball with his club, and it shone suddenly in the dark +like an immense glowworm. + +"Fore!" cried Roger. + +He hit the ball with the head of his club, and it rose to the sky like +a star going to rejoin its sisters. In three strokes it crossed +three-quarters of the distance. + +"That is good!" said Belzebuth, whose astonishment redoubled. "My turn +to play now!"[23] + + [23] After each three strokes the opponent has one hit back, + or into a hazard. + +With one stroke of the club he drove the ball over the roofs of Coq +nearly to Maison Blanche, half a league away. The blow was so violent +that the iron struck fire against a pebble. + +"Good St. Antony! I am lost, unless you come to my aid," murmured the +wheelwright of Coq. + +He struck tremblingly; but, though his arm was uncertain, the club +seemed to have acquired a new vigour. At the second stroke the ball +went as if of itself and hit the door of the cemetery. + +"By the horns of my grandfather!" cried Belzebuth, "it shall not be +said that I have been beaten by a son of that fool Adam. Give me my +revenge." + +"What shall we play for?" + +"Your soul and that of Paternostre against the souls of two golfers." + + +IX + +The devil played up, "pressing" furiously; his club blazed at each +stroke with showers of sparks. The ball flew from Conde to +Bon-Secours, to Pernwelz, to Leuze. Once it spun away to Tournai, six +leagues from there. + +It left behind a luminous tail like a comet, and the two golfers +followed, so to speak, on its track. Roger was never able to +understand how he ran, or rather flew so fast, and without fatigue. + +In short, he did not lose a single game, and won the souls of the six +defunct golfers. Belzebuth rolled his eyes like an angry tom-cat. + +"Shall we go on?" said the wheelwright of Coq. + +"No," replied the other; "they expect me at the Witches' Sabbath on +the hill of Copiemont. + +"That brigand," said he aside, "is capable of filching all my game." + +And he vanished. + +Returned home, the great golfer shut up his souls in a sack and went +to bed, enchanted to have beaten Mynheer van Belzebuth. + + +X + +Two years after the wheelwright of Coq received a visit which he +little expected. An old man, tall, thin and yellow, came into the +workshop carrying a scythe on his shoulder. + +"Are you bringing me your scythe to haft anew, master?" + +"No, faith, _my_ scythe is never unhafted." + +"Then how can I serve you?" + +"By following me: your hour is come." + +"The devil," said the great golfer, "could you not wait a little till +I have finished this wheel?" + +"Be it so! I have done hard work today and I have well earned a +smoke." + +"In that case, master, sit down there on the _causeuse_. I have at +your service some famous tobacco at seven petards the pound." + +"That's good, faith; make haste." + +And Death lit his pipe and seated himself at the door on the elm +trunk. + +Laughing in his sleeve, the wheelwright of Coq returned to his work. +At the end of a quarter of an hour Death called to him: + +"Ho! faith, will you soon have finished?" + +The wheelwright turned a deaf ear and went on planing, singing: + + "Attendez-moi sur l'orme; + Vous m'attendrez longtemps." + +"I don't think he hears me," said Death. "Ho! friend, are you ready?" + + "Va-t-en voir s'ils viennent, Jean, + Va-t-en voir s'ils viennent," + +replied the singer. + +"Would the brute laugh at me?" said Death to himself. + +And he tried to rise. + +To his great surprise he could not detach himself from the _causeuse_. +He then understood that he was the sport of a superior power. + +"Let us see," he said to Roger. "What will you take to let me go? Do +you wish me to prolong your life ten years?" + + "J'ai de bon tabac dans ma tabatiere," + +sang the great golfer. + +"Will you take twenty years?" + + "Il pleut, il pleut, bergere; + Rentre tes blancs moutons." + +"Will you take a fifty, wheelwright?--may the devil admire you!" + +The wheelwright of Coq intoned: + + "Bon voyage, cher Dumollet, + A Saint-Malo debarquez sans naufrage." + +In the meanwhile the clock of Conde had just struck four, and the +boys were coming out of school. The sight of this great dry heron of a +creature who struggled on the _causeuse_, like a devil in a holy-water +pot, surprised and soon delighted them. + +Never suspecting that when seated at the door of the old, Death +watches the young, they thought it funny to put out their tongues at +him, singing in chorus: + + "Bon voyage, cher Dumollet, + A Saint-Malo debarquez sans naufrage." + +"Will you take a hundred years?" yelled Death. + +"Hein? How? What? Were you not speaking of an extension of a hundred +years? I accept with all my heart, master; but let us understand: I am +not such a fool as to ask for the lengthening of my old age." + +"Then what do you want?" + +"From old age I only ask the experience which it gives by degrees. 'Si +jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait!' says the proverb. I wish to +preserve for a hundred years the strength of a young man, and to +acquire the knowledge of an old one." + +"So be it," said Death; "I shall return this day a hundred years." + + "Bon voyage, cher Dumollet, + A Saint-Malo debarquez sans naufrage." + + +XI + +The great golfer began a new life. At first he enjoyed perfect +happiness, which was increased by the certainty of its not ending for +a hundred years. Thanks to his experience, he so well understood the +management of his affairs that he could leave his mallet and shut up +shop.[24] + + [24] _Vivre a porte close._ + +He experienced, nevertheless, an annoyance he had not foreseen. His +wonderful skill at golf ended by frightening the players whom he had +at first delighted, and was the cause of his never finding any one who +would play against him. + +He therefore quitted the canton and set out on his travels over French +Flanders, Belgium, and all the greens where the noble game of golf is +held in honour. At the end of twenty years he returned to Coq to be +admired by a new generation of golfers, after which he departed to +return twenty years later. + +Alas! in spite of its apparent charm, this existence before long +became a burden to him. Besides that, it bored him to win on every +occasion; he was tired of passing like the Wandering Jew through +generations, and of seeing the sons, grandsons, and great-grandsons of +his friends grow old, and die out. He was constantly reduced to making +new friendships which were undone by the age or death of his fellows; +all changed around him, he only did not change. + +He grew impatient of this eternal youthfulness which condemned him to +taste the same pleasures for ever, and he sometimes longed to know the +calmer joys of old age. One day he caught himself at his +looking-glass, examining whether his hair had not begun to grow +white; nothing seemed so beautiful to him now as the snow on the +forehead of the old. + + +XII + +In addition to this, experience soon made him so wise that he was no +longer amused at anything. If sometimes in the tavern he had a fancy +for making use of his apron to pass the night at cards: "What is the +good of this excess?" whispered experience; "it is not sufficient to +be unable to shorten one's days, one must also avoid making oneself +ill." + +He reached the point of refusing himself the pleasure of drinking his +pint and smoking his pipe. Why, indeed, plunge into dissipations which +enervate the body and dull the brain? + +_The wretch went further and gave up golf!_ Experience convinced him +that the game is a dangerous one, which overheats one, and is +eminently adapted to produce colds, catarrhs, rheumatism, and +inflammation of the lungs. + +Besides, what is the use, and what great glory is it to be reputed the +first golfer in the world? + +Of what use is glory itself? A vain hope, vain as the smoke of a pipe. + +When experience had thus bereft him one by one of his delusions, the +unhappy golfer became mortally weary. He saw that he had deceived +himself, that delusion has its price, and that the greatest charm of +youth is perhaps its inexperience. + +He thus arrived at the term agreed on in the contract, and as he had +not had a paradise here below, he sought through his hardly-acquired +wisdom a clever way of conquering one above. + + +XIII + +Death found him at Coq at work in his shop. Experience had at least +taught him that work is the most lasting of pleasures. + +"Are you ready?" said Death. + +"I am." + +He took his club, put a score of balls in his pocket, threw his sack +over his shoulder, and buckled his gaiters without taking off his +apron. + +"What do you want your club for?" + +"Why, to golf in paradise with my patron St. Antony." + +"Do you fancy, then, that I am going to conduct you to paradise?" + +"You must, as I have half-a-dozen souls to carry there, that I once +saved from the clutches of Belzebuth." + +"Better have saved your own. _En route, cher Dumollet!_" + +The great golfer saw that the old reaper bore him a grudge, and that +he was going to conduct him to the paradise of the lost.[25] + + [25] _Noires glaives._ + +Indeed a quarter of an hour later the two travellers knocked at the +gate of hell. + +"Toc, toc!" + +"Who is there?" + +"The wheelwright of Coq," said the great golfer. + +"Don't open the door," cried Belzebuth; "that rascal wins at every +turn; he is capable of depopulating my empire." + +Roger laughed in his sleeve. + +"Oh! you are not saved," said Death. "I am going to take you where you +won't be cold either." + +Quicker than a beggar would have emptied a poor's box they were in +purgatory. + +"Toc--toc!" + +"Who is there?" + +"The wheelwright of Coq," said the great golfer. + +"But he is in a state of mortal sin," cried the angel on duty. "Take +him away from here--he can't come in." + +"I cannot, all the same, let him linger between heaven and earth," +said Death; "I shall shunt him back to Coq." + +"Where they will take me for a ghost. Thank you! is there not still +paradise?" + + +XIV + +They were there at the end of a short hour. + +"Toc, toc!" + +"Who is there?" + +"The wheelwright of Coq," said the great golfer. + +"Ah! my lad," said St. Peter, half opening the door, "I am really +grieved. St. Antony told you long ago you had better ask for the +salvation of your soul." + +"That is true, St. Peter," replied Roger with a sheepish air. "And +how is he, that blessed St. Antony? Could I not come in for one moment +to return the visit he once paid me?" + +"Why, here he comes," said St. Peter, throwing the door wide open. + +In the twinkling of an eye the sly golfer had flung himself into +paradise, unhooked his apron, let it fall to the ground, and seated +himself down on it. + +"Good morning, St. Antony," said he with a fine salute. "You see I had +plenty of time to think of paradise, for here we are!" + +"What! _You_ here!" cried St. Antony. + +"Yes, I and my company," replied Roger, opening his sack and +scattering on the carpet the souls of the six golfers. + +"Will you have the goodness to pack right off, all of you?" + +"Impossible," said the great golfer, showing his apron. + +"The rogue has made game of us," said St. Antony. "Come, St. Peter, in +memory of our game of golf, let him in with his souls. Besides, he has +had his purgatory on earth." + +"It is not a very good precedent," murmured St. Peter. + +"Bah!" replied Roger, "if we have a few good golfers in paradise, +where is the harm?" + + +XV + +Thus, after having lived long, golfed much and drunk many cans of +beer, the wheelwright of Coq called the Great Golfer was admitted to +paradise; but I advise no one to copy him, for it is not quite the +right way to go, and St. Peter might not always be so compliant, +though great allowances must be made for golfers. + + + + +THE LEGEND OF MONT ST.-MICHEL + +BY GUY DE MAUPASSANT + + +I had first seen it from Cancale, this fairy castle in the sea. I got +an indistinct impression of it as of a grey shadow outlined against +the misty sky. I saw it again from Avranches at sunset. The immense +stretch of sand was red, the horizon was red, the whole boundless bay +was red. The rocky castle rising out there in the distance like a +weird, seignorial residence, like a dream palace, strange and +beautiful--this alone remained black in the crimson light of the dying +day. + +The following morning at dawn I went toward it across the sands, my +eyes fastened on this gigantic jewel, as big as a mountain, cut like a +cameo, and as dainty as lace. The nearer I approached the greater my +admiration grew, for nothing in the world could be more wonderful or +more perfect. + +As surprised as if I had discovered the habitation of a god, I +wandered through those halls supported by frail or massive columns, +raising my eyes in wonder to those spires which looked like rockets +starting for the sky, and to that marvellous assemblage of towers, of +gargoyles, of slender and charming ornaments, a regular fireworks of +stone, granite lace, a masterpiece of colossal and delicate +architecture. + +As I was looking up in ecstasy a Lower Normandy peasant came up to me +and told me the story of the great quarrel between Saint Michael and +the devil. + +A sceptical genius has said: "God made man in his image and man has +returned the compliment." + +This saying is an eternal truth, and it would be very curious to write +the history of the local divinity of every continent, as well as the +history of the patron saints in each one of our provinces. The negro +has his ferocious man-eating idols; the polygamous Mahometan fills his +paradise with women; the Greeks, like a practical people, deified all +the passions. + +Every village in France is under the influence of some protecting +saint, modelled according to the characteristics of the inhabitants. + +Saint Michael watches over Lower Normandy, Saint Michael, the radiant +and victorious angel, the sword-carrier, the hero of Heaven, the +victorious, the conqueror of Satan. + +But this is how the Lower Normandy peasant, cunning, deceitful and +tricky, understands and tells of the struggle between the great saint +and the devil. + +To escape from the malice of his neighbour, the devil, Saint Michael +built himself, in the open ocean, this habitation worthy of an +archangel; and only such a saint could build a residence of such +magnificence. + +But, as he still feared the approaches of the wicked one, he +surrounded his domains by quicksands, more treacherous even than the +sea. + +The devil lived in a humble cottage on the hill, but he owned all the +salt marshes, the rich lands where grow the finest crops, the wooded +valleys and all the fertile hills of the country, while the saint +ruled only over the sands. Therefore Satan was rich, whereas Saint +Michael was as poor as a church mouse. + +After a few years of fasting the saint grew tired of this state of +affairs and began to think of some compromise with the devil, but the +matter was by no means easy, as Satan kept a good hold on his crops. + +He thought the thing over for about six months; then one morning he +walked across to the shore. The demon was eating his soup in front of +his door when he saw the saint. He immediately rushed toward him, +kissed the hem of his sleeve, invited him in and offered him +refreshments. + +Saint Michael drank a bowl of milk and then began: "I have come here +to propose to you a good bargain." + +The devil, candid and trustful, answered: "That will suit me." + +"Here it is. Give me all your lands." + +Satan, growing alarmed, wished to speak: "But--" + +The saint continued: "Listen first. Give me all your lands. I will +take care of all the work, the ploughing, the sowing, the fertilizing, +everything, and we will share the crops equally. How does that suit +you?" + +The devil, who was naturally lazy, accepted. He only demanded in +addition a few of those delicious grey mullet which are caught around +the solitary mount. Saint Michael promised the fish. + +They grasped hands and spat on the ground to show that it was a +bargain, and the saint continued: "See here, so that you will have +nothing to complain of, choose that part of the crops which you +prefer: the part that grows above ground or the part that stays in +the ground." Satan cried out: "I will take all that will be above +ground." + +"It's a bargain!" said the saint. And he went away. + +Six months later, all over the immense domain of the devil, one could +see nothing but carrots, turnips, onions, salsify, all the plants +whose juicy roots are good and savoury and whose useless leaves are +good for nothing but for feeding animals. + +Satan wished to break the contract, calling Saint Michael a swindler. + +But the saint, who had developed quite a taste for agriculture, went +back to see the devil and said: "Really, I hadn't thought of that at +all; it was just an accident, no fault of mine. And to make things +fair with you, this year I'll let you take everything that is under +the ground." + +"Very well," answered Satan. + +The following spring all the evil spirit's lands were covered with +golden wheat, oats as big as beans, flax, magnificent colza, red +clover, peas, cabbage, artichokes, everything that develops into +grains or fruit in the sunlight. + +Once more Satan received nothing, and this time he completely lost his +temper. He took back his fields and remained deaf to all the fresh +propositions of his neighbour. + +A whole year rolled by. From the top of his lonely manor Saint Michael +looked at the distant and fertile lands and watched the devil direct +the work, take in his crops and thresh the wheat. And he grew angry, +exasperated at his powerlessness. As he was no longer able to deceive +Satan, he decided to wreak vengeance on him, and he went out to invite +him to dinner for the following Monday. + +"You have been very unfortunate in your dealings with me," he said; "I +know it, but I don't want any ill feeling between us, and I expect you +to dine with me. I'll give you some good things to eat." + +Satan, who was as greedy as he was lazy, accepted eagerly. On the day +appointed he donned his finest clothes and set out for the castle. + +Saint Michael sat him down to a magnificent meal. First there was a +_vol-au-vent_, full of cocks' crests and kidneys, with meat-balls, +then two big grey mullet with cream sauce, a turkey stuffed with +chestnuts soaked in wine, some salt-marsh lamb as tender as cake, +vegetables which melted in the mouth and nice hot pancake which was +brought on smoking and spreading a delicious odour of butter. + +They drank new, sweet, sparkling cider and heady red wine, and after +each course they whetted their appetites with some old apple brandy. + +The devil drank and ate to his heart's content; in fact he took so +much that he was very uncomfortable, and began to retch. + +Then Saint Michael arose in anger and cried in a voice like thunder: +"What! before me, rascal! You dare--before me--" + +Satan, terrified, ran away, and the saint, seizing a stick, pursued +him. They ran through the halls, turning round the pillars, running up +the staircases, galloping along the cornices, jumping from gargoyle +to gargoyle. The poor devil, who was woefully ill, was running about +madly and trying hard to escape. At last he found himself at the top +of the last terrace, right at the top, from which could be seen the +immense bay, with its distant towns, sands and pastures. He could no +longer escape, and the saint came up behind him and gave him a furious +kick, which shot him through space like a cannon-ball. + +He shot through the air like a javelin and fell heavily before the +town of Mortain. His horns and claws stuck deep into the rock, which +keeps through eternity the traces of this fall of Satan. + +He stood up again, limping, crippled until the end of time, and as he +looked at this fatal castle in the distance, standing out against the +setting sun, he understood well that he would always be vanquished in +this unequal struggle, and he went away limping, heading for distant +countries, leaving to his enemy his fields, his hills, his valleys and +his marshes. + +And this is how Saint Michael, the patron saint of Normandy, +vanquished the devil. + +Another people would have dreamed of this battle in an entirely +different manner. + + + + +THE DEMON POPE[26] + +BY RICHARD GARNETT + + + [26] Taken by permission from _The Twilight of the Gods_, by + Richard Garnett. Published by John Lane Co., New York. + +"So you won't sell me your soul?" said the devil. + +"Thank you," replied the student, "I had rather keep it myself, if +it's all the same to you." + +"But it's not all the same to me. I want it very particularly. Come, +I'll be liberal. I said twenty years. You can have thirty." + +The student shook his head. + +"Forty!" + +Another shake. + +"Fifty!" + +As before. + +"Now," said the devil. "I know I'm going to do a foolish thing, but I +cannot bear to see a clever, spirited young man throw himself away. +I'll make you another kind of offer. We don't have any bargain at +present, but I will push you on in the world for the next forty years. +This day forty years I come back and ask you for a boon; not your +soul, mind, or anything not perfectly in your power to grant. If you +give it, we are quits; if not, I fly away with you. What say you to +this?" + +The student reflected for some minutes. "Agreed," he said at last. + +Scarcely had the devil disappeared, which he did instantaneously, ere +a messenger reined in his smoking steed at the gate of the University +of Cordova (the judicious reader will already have remarked that +Lucifer could never have been allowed inside a Christian seat of +learning), and, inquiring for the student Gerbert, presented him with +the Emperor Otho's nomination to the Abbacy of Bobbio, in +consideration, said the document, of his virtue and learning, wellnigh +miraculous in one so young. Such messengers were frequent visitors +during Gerbert's prosperous career. Abbot, bishop, archbishop, +cardinal, he was ultimately enthroned Pope on April 2, 999, and +assumed the appellation of Silvester the Second. It was then a general +belief that the world would come to an end in the following year, a +catastrophe which to many seemed the more imminent from the election +of a chief pastor whose celebrity as a theologian, though not +inconsiderable, by no means equalled his reputation as a necromancer. + +The world, notwithstanding, revolved scatheless through the dreaded +twelvemonth, and early in the first year of the eleventh century +Gerbert was sitting peacefully in his study, perusing a book of magic. +Volumes of algebra, astrology, alchemy, Aristotelian philosophy, and +other such light reading filled his bookcase; and on a table stood an +improved clock of his invention, next to his introduction of the +Arabic numerals his chief legacy to posterity. Suddenly a sound of +wings was heard, and Lucifer stood by his side. + +"It is a long time," said the fiend, "since I have had the pleasure of +seeing you. I have now called to remind you of our little contract, +concluded this day forty years." + +"You remember," said Silvester, "that you are not to ask anything +exceeding my power to perform." + +"I have no such intention," said Lucifer. "On the contrary, I am about +to solicit a favour which can be bestowed by you alone. You are Pope, +I desire that you would make me a Cardinal." + +"In the expectation, I presume," returned Gerbert, "of becoming Pope +on the next vacancy." + +"An expectation," replied Lucifer, "which I may most reasonably +entertain, considering my enormous wealth, my proficiency in intrigue, +and the present condition of the Sacred College." + +"You would doubtless," said Gerbert, "endeavour to subvert the +foundations of the Faith, and, by a course of profligacy and +licentiousness, render the Holy See odious and contemptible." + +"On the contrary," said the fiend, "I would extirpate heresy, and all +learning and knowledge as inevitably tending thereunto. I would suffer +no man to read but the priest, and confine his reading to his +breviary. I would burn your books together with your bones on the +first convenient opportunity. I would observe an austere propriety of +conduct, and be especially careful not to loosen one rivet in the +tremendous yoke I was forging for the minds and consciences of +mankind." + +"If it be so," said Gerbert, "let's be off!" + +"What!" exclaimed Lucifer, "you are willing to accompany me to the +infernal regions!" + +"Assuredly, rather than be accessory to the burning of Plato and +Aristotle, and give place to the darkness against which I have been +contending all my life." + +"Gerbert," replied the demon, "this is arrant trifling. Know you not +that no good man can enter my dominions? that, were such a thing +possible, my empire would become intolerable to me, and I should be +compelled to abdicate?" + +"I do know it," said Gerbert, "and hence I have been able to receive +your visit with composure." + +"Gerbert," said the devil, with tears in his eyes, "I put it to +you--is this fair, is this honest? I undertake to promote your +interests in the world; I fulfil my promise abundantly. You obtain +through my instrumentality a position to which you could never +otherwise have aspired. Often have I had a hand in the election of a +Pope, but never before have I contributed to confer the tiara on one +eminent for virtue and learning. You profit by my assistance to the +full, and now take advantage of an adventitious circumstance to +deprive me of my reasonable guerdon. It is my constant experience that +the good people are much more slippery than the sinners, and drive +much harder bargains." + +"Lucifer," answered Gerbert, "I have always sought to treat you as a +gentleman, hoping that you would approve yourself such in return. I +will not inquire whether it was entirely in harmony with this +character to seek to intimidate me into compliance with your demand by +threatening me with a penalty which you well knew could not be +enforced. I will overlook this little irregularity, and concede even +more than you have requested. You have asked to be a Cardinal. I will +make you Pope--" + +"Ha!" exclaimed Lucifer, and an internal glow suffused his sooty hide, +as the light of a fading ember is revived by breathing upon it. + +"For twelve hours," continued Gerbert. "At the expiration of that time +we will consider the matter further; and if, as I anticipate, you are +more anxious to divest yourself of the Papal dignity than you were to +assume it, I promise to bestow upon you any boon you may ask within my +power to grant, and not plainly inconsistent with religion or morals." + +"Done!" cried the demon. Gerbert uttered some cabalistic words, and in +a moment the apartment held two Pope Silvesters, entirely +indistinguishable save by their attire, and the fact that one limped +slightly with the left foot. + +"You will find the Pontifical apparel in this cupboard," said Gerbert, +and, taking his book of magic with him, he retreated through a masked +door to a secret chamber. As the door closed behind him he chuckled, +and muttered to himself, "Poor old Lucifer! Sold again!" + +If Lucifer was sold he did not seem to know it. He approached a large +slab of silver which did duty as a mirror, and contemplated his +personal appearance with some dissatisfaction. + +"I certainly don't look half so well without my horns," he +soliloquized, "and I am sure I shall miss my tail most grievously." + +A tiara and a train, however, made fair amends for the deficient +appendages, and Lucifer now looked every inch a Pope. He was about to +call the master of the ceremonies, and summon a consistory, when the +door was burst open, and seven cardinals, brandishing poniards, rushed +into the room. + +"Down with the sorcerer!" they cried, as they seized and gagged him. + +"Death to the Saracen!" + +"Practises algebra, and other devilish arts!" + +"Knows Greek!" + +"Talks Arabic!" + +"Reads Hebrew!" + +"Burn him!" + +"Smother him!" + +"Let him be deposed by a general council," said a young and +inexperienced Cardinal. + +"Heaven forbid!" said an old and wary one, _sotto voce_. + +Lucifer struggled frantically, but the feeble frame he was doomed to +inhabit for the next eleven hours was speedily exhausted. Bound and +helpless, he swooned away. + +"Brethren," said one of the senior cardinals, "it hath been delivered +by the exorcists that a sorcerer or other individual in league with +the demon doth usually bear upon his person some visible token of his +infernal compact. I propose that we forthwith institute a search for +this stigma, the discovery of which may contribute to justify our +proceedings in the eyes of the world." + +"I heartily approve of our brother Anno's proposition," said another, +"the rather as we cannot possibly fail to discover such a mark, if, +indeed, we desire to find it." + +The search was accordingly instituted, and had not proceeded far ere a +simultaneous yell from all the seven cardinals indicated that their +investigation had brought more light than they had ventured to expect. + +The Holy Father had a cloven foot! + +For the next five minutes the Cardinals remained utterly stunned, +silent, and stupefied with amazement. As they gradually recovered +their faculties it would have become manifest to a nice observer that +the Pope had risen very considerably in their good opinion. + +"This is an affair requiring very mature deliberation," said one. + +"I always feared that we might be proceeding too precipitately," said +another. + +"It is written, 'the devils believe,'" said a third: "the Holy Father, +therefore, is not a heretic at any rate." + +"Brethren," said Anno, "this affair, as our brother Benno well +remarks, doth indeed call for mature deliberation. I therefore propose +that, instead of smothering his Holiness with cushions, as originally +contemplated, we immure him for the present in the dungeon adjoining +hereunto, and, after spending the night in meditation and prayer, +resume the consideration of the business tomorrow morning." + +"Informing the officials of the palace," said Benno, "that his +Holiness has retired for his devotions, and desires on no account to +be disturbed." + +"A pious fraud," said Anno, "which not one of the Fathers would for a +moment have scrupled to commit." + +The Cardinals accordingly lifted the still insensible Lucifer, and +bore him carefully, almost tenderly, to the apartment appointed for +his detention. Each would fain have lingered in hopes of his recovery, +but each felt that the eyes of his six brethren were upon him: and +all, therefore, retired simultaneously, each taking a key of the cell. + +Lucifer regained consciousness almost immediately afterwards. He had +the most confused idea of the circumstances which had involved him in +his present scrape, and could only say to himself that if they were +the usual concomitants of the Papal dignity, these were by no means to +his taste, and he wished he had been made acquainted with them sooner. +The dungeon was not only perfectly dark, but horribly cold, and the +poor devil in his present form had no latent store of infernal heat to +draw upon. His teeth chattered, he shivered in every limb, and felt +devoured with hunger and thirst. There is much probability in the +assertion of some of his biographers that it was on this occasion that +he invented ardent spirits; but, even if he did, the mere conception +of a glass of brandy could only increase his sufferings. So the long +January night wore wearily on, and Lucifer seemed likely to expire +from inanition, when a key turned in the lock, and Cardinal Anno +cautiously glided in, bearing a lamp, a loaf, half a cold roast kid, +and a bottle of wine. + +"I trust," he said, bowing courteously, "that I may be excused any +slight breach of etiquette of which I may render myself culpable from +the difficulty under which I labour of determining whether, under +present circumstances, 'Your Holiness,' or 'Your infernal Majesty' be +the form of address most befitting me to employ." + +"Bub-ub-bub-boo," went Lucifer, who still had the gag in his mouth. + +"Heavens!" exclaimed the Cardinal, "I crave your Infernal Holiness's +forgiveness. What a lamentable oversight!" + +And, relieving Lucifer from his gag and bonds, he set out the +refection, upon which the demon fell voraciously. + +"Why the devil, if I may so express myself," pursued Anno, "did not +your Holiness inform us that you _were_ the devil? Not a hand would +then have been raised against you. I have myself been seeking all my +life for the audience now happily vouchsafed me. Whence this mistrust +of your faithful Anno, who has served you so loyally and zealously +these many years?" + +Lucifer pointed significantly to the gag and fetters. + +"I shall never forgive myself," protested the Cardinal, "for the part +I have borne in this unfortunate transaction. Next to ministering to +your Majesty's bodily necessities, there is nothing I have so much at +heart as to express my penitence. But I entreat your Majesty to +remember that I believed myself to be acting in your Majesty's +interest by overthrowing a magician who was accustomed to send your +Majesty upon errands, and who might at any time enclose you in a box, +and cast you into the sea. It is deplorable that your Majesty's most +devoted servants should have been thus misled." + +"Reasons of State," suggested Lucifer. + +"I trust that they no longer operate," said the Cardinal. "However, +the Sacred College is now fully possessed of the whole matter: it is +therefore unnecessary to pursue this department of the subject +further. I would now humbly crave leave to confer with your Majesty, +or rather, perhaps, your Holiness, since I am about to speak of +spiritual things, on the important and delicate point of your +Holiness's successor. I am ignorant how long your Holiness proposes to +occupy the Apostolic chair; but of course you are aware that public +opinion will not suffer you to hold it for a term exceeding that of +the pontificate of Peter. A vacancy, therefore, must one day occur; +and I am humbly to represent that the office could not be filled by +one more congenial than myself to the present incumbent, or on whom he +could more fully rely to carry out in every respect his views and +intentions." + +And the Cardinal proceeded to detail various circumstances of his past +life, which certainly seemed to corroborate his assertion. He had not, +however, proceeded far ere he was disturbed by the grating of another +key in the lock, and had just time to whisper impressively, "Beware of +Benno," ere he dived under a table. + +Benno was also provided with a lamp, wine, and cold viands. Warned by +the other lamp and the remains of Lucifer's repast that some colleague +had been beforehand with him, and not knowing how many more might be +in the field, he came briefly to the point as regarded the Papacy, and +preferred his claim in much the same manner as Anno. While he was +earnestly cautioning Lucifer against this Cardinal as one who could +and would cheat the very Devil himself, another key turned in the +lock, and Benno escaped under the table, where Anno immediately +inserted his fingers into his right eye. The little squeal consequent +upon this occurrence Lucifer successfully smothered by a fit of +coughing. + +Cardinal No. 3, a Frenchman, bore a Bayonne ham, and exhibited the +same disgust as Benno on seeing himself forestalled. So far as his +requests transpired they were moderate, but no one knows where he +would have stopped if he had not been scared by the advent of Cardinal +No. 4. Up to this time he had only asked for an inexhaustible purse, +power to call up the Devil _ad libitum_, and a ring of invisibility to +allow him free access to his mistress, who was unfortunately a married +woman. + +Cardinal No. 4 chiefly wanted to be put into the way of poisoning +Cardinal No. 5; and Cardinal No. 5 preferred the same petition as +respected Cardinal No. 4. + +Cardinal No. 6, an Englishman, demanded the reversion of the +Archbishoprics of Canterbury and York, with the faculty of holding +them together, and of unlimited non-residence. In the course of his +harangue he made use of the phrase _non obstantibus_, of which Lucifer +immediately took a note. + +What the seventh Cardinal would have solicited is not known, for he +had hardly opened his mouth when the twelfth hour expired, and +Lucifer, regaining his vigour with his shape, sent the Prince of the +Church spinning to the other end of the room, and split the marble +table with a single stroke of his tail. The six crouched and huddling +Cardinals cowered revealed to one another, and at the same time +enjoyed the spectacle of his Holiness darting through the stone +ceiling, which yielded like a film to his passage, and closed up +afterwards as if nothing had happened. After the first shock of dismay +they unanimously rushed to the door, but found it bolted on the +outside. There was no other exit, and no means of giving an alarm. In +this emergency the demeanour of the Italian Cardinals set a bright +example to their ultramontane colleagues. "_Bisogna pazienzia_," they +said, as they shrugged their shoulders. Nothing could exceed the +mutual politeness of Cardinals Anno and Benno, unless that of the two +who had sought to poison each other. The Frenchman was held to have +gravely derogated from good manners by alluding to this circumstance, +which had reached his ears while he was under the table: and the +Englishman swore so outrageously at the plight in which he found +himself that the Italians then and there silently registered a vow +that none of his nation should ever be Pope, a maxim which, with one +exception, has been observed to this day. + +Lucifer, meanwhile, had repaired to Silvester, whom he found arrayed +in all the insignia of his dignity; of which, as he remarked, he +thought his visitor had probably had enough. + +"I should think so indeed," replied Lucifer. "But at the same time I +feel myself fully repaid for all I have undergone by the assurance of +the loyalty of my friends and admirers, and the conviction that it is +needless for me to devote any considerable amount of personal +attention to ecclesiastical affairs. I now claim the promised boon, +which it will be in no way inconsistent with thy functions to grant, +seeing that it is a work of mercy. I demand that the Cardinals be +released, and that their conspiracy against thee, by which I alone +suffered, be buried in oblivion." + +"I hoped you would carry them all off," said Gerbert, with an +expression of disappointment. + +"Thank you," said the Devil. "It is more to my interest to leave them +where they are." + +So the dungeon-door was unbolted, and the Cardinals came forth, +sheepish and crestfallen. If, after all, they did less mischief than +Lucifer had expected from them, the cause was their entire +bewilderment by what had passed, and their utter inability to +penetrate the policy of Gerbert, who henceforth devoted himself even +with ostentation to good works. They could never quite satisfy +themselves whether they were speaking to the Pope or to the Devil, and +when under the latter impression habitually emitted propositions which +Gerbert justly stigmatized as rash, temerarious, and scandalous. They +plagued him with allusions to certain matters mentioned in their +interviews with Lucifer, with which they naturally but erroneously +supposed him to be conversant, and worried him by continual nods and +titterings as they glanced at his nether extremities. To abolish this +nuisance, and at the same time silence sundry unpleasant rumours which +had somehow got abroad, Gerbert devised the ceremony of kissing the +Pope's feet, which, in a grievously mutilated form, endures to this +day. The stupefaction of the Cardinals on discovering that the Holy +Father had lost his hoof surpasses all description, and they went to +their graves without having obtained the least insight into the +mystery. + + + + +MADAM LUCIFER[27] + +BY RICHARD GARNETT + + + [27] Taken by permission from _The Twilight of the Gods_, by + Richard Garnett. Published by John Lane Co., New York. + +Lucifer sat playing chess with Man for his soul. + +The game was evidently going ill for Man. He had but pawns left, few +and struggling. Lucifer had rooks, knights, and, of course, bishops. + +It was but natural under such circumstances that Man should be in no +great hurry to move. Lucifer grew impatient. + +"It is a pity," said he at last, "that we did not fix some period +within which the player must move, or resign." + +"Oh, Lucifer," returned the young man, in heart-rending accents, "it +is not the impending loss of my soul that thus unmans me, but the loss +of my betrothed. When I think of the grief of the Lady Adeliza, the +paragon of terrestrial loveliness!" Tears choked his utterance; +Lucifer was touched. + +"Is the Lady Adeliza's loveliness in sooth so transcendent?" he +inquired. + +"She is a rose, a lily, a diamond, a morning star!" + +"If that is the case," rejoined Lucifer, "thou mayest reassure +thyself. The Lady Adeliza shall not want for consolation. I will +assume thy shape and woo her in thy stead." + +The young man hardly seemed to receive all the comfort from this +promise which Lucifer no doubt designed. He made a desperate move. In +an instant the Devil checkmated him, and he disappeared. + + * * * * * + +"Upon my word, if I had known what a business this was going to be, I +don't think I should have gone in for it," soliloquized the Devil as, +wearing his captive's semblance and installed in his apartments, he +surveyed the effects to which he now had to administer. They included +coats, shirts, collars, neckties, foils, cigars, and the like _ad +libitum_; and very little else except three challenges, ten writs, and +seventy-four unpaid bills, elegantly disposed around the +looking-glass. To the poor youth's praise be it said, there were no +_billets-doux_, except from the Lady Adeliza herself. + +Noting the address of these carefully, the Devil sallied forth, and +nothing but his ignorance of the topography of the hotel, which made +him take the back stairs, saved him from the clutches of two bailiffs +lurking on the principal staircase. Leaping into a cab, he thus +escaped a perfumer and a bootmaker, and shortly found himself at the +Lady Adeliza's feet. + +The truth had not been half told him. Such beauty, such wit, such +correctness of principle! Lucifer went forth from her presence a +love-sick fiend. Not Merlin's mother had produced half the impression +upon him; and Adeliza on her part had never found her lover +one-hundredth part so interesting as he seemed that morning. + +Lucifer proceeded at once to the City, where, assuming his proper +shape for the occasion, he negotiated a loan without the smallest +difficulty. All debts were promptly discharged, and Adeliza was +astonished at the splendour and variety of the presents she was +constantly receiving. + +Lucifer had all but brought her to name the day, when he was informed +that a gentleman of clerical appearance desired to wait upon him. + +"Wants money for a new church or mission, I suppose," said he. "Show +him up." + +But when the visitor was ushered in, Lucifer found with discomposure +that he was no earthly clergyman, but a celestial saint; a saint, too, +with whom Lucifer had never been able to get on. He had served in the +army while on earth, and his address was curt, precise, and +peremptory. + +"I have called," he said, "to notify to you my appointment as +Inspector of Devils." + +"What!" exclaimed Lucifer, in consternation. "To the post of my old +friend Michael!" + +"Too old," said the Saint laconically. "Millions of years older than +the world. About your age, I think." + +Lucifer winced, remembering the particular business he was then about. +The Saint continued: + +"I am a new broom, and am expected to sweep clean. I warn you that I +mean to be strict, and there is one little matter which I must set +right immediately. You are going to marry that poor young fellow's +betrothed, are you? Now you know you can not take his wife, unless you +give him yours." + +"Oh, my dear friend," exclaimed Lucifer, "what an inexpressibly +blissful prospect you do open unto me!" + +"I don't know that," said the Saint. "I must remind you that the +dominion of the infernal regions is unalterably attached to the person +of the present Queen thereof. If you part with her you immediately +lose all your authority and possessions. I don't care a brass button +which you do, but you must understand that you cannot eat your cake +and have it too. Good morning!" + +Who shall describe the conflict in Lucifer's bosom? If any stronger +passion existed therein at that moment than attachment to Adeliza, it +was aversion to his consort, and the two combined were wellnigh +irresistible. But to disenthrone himself, to descend to the condition +of a poor devil! + +Feeling himself incapable of coming to a decision, he sent for Belial, +unfolded the matter, and requested his advice. + +"What a shame that our new inspector will not let you marry Adeliza!" +lamented his counsellor. "If you did, my private opinion is that +forty-eight hours afterwards you would care just as much for her as +you do now for Madam Lucifer, neither more nor less. Are your +intentions really honourable?" + +"Yes," replied Lucifer, "it is to be a Lucifer match." + +"The more fool you," rejoined Belial. "If you tempted her to commit a +sin, she would be yours without any conditions at all." + +"Oh, Belial," said Lucifer, "I cannot bring myself to be a tempter of +so much innocence and loveliness." + +And he meant what he said. + +"Well then, let me try," proposed Belial. + +"You?" replied Lucifer contemptuously; "do you imagine that Adeliza +would look at you?" + +"Why not?" asked Belial, surveying himself complacently in the glass. + +He was humpbacked, squinting, and lame, and his horns stood up under +his wig. + +The discussion ended in a wager: after which there was no retreat for +Lucifer. + +The infernal Iachimo was introduced to Adeliza as a distinguished +foreigner, and was soon prosecuting his suit with all the success +which Lucifer had predicted. One thing protected while it baffled +him--the entire inability of Adeliza to understand what he meant. At +length he was constrained to make the matter clear by producing an +enormous treasure, which he offered Adeliza in exchange for the +abandonment of her lover. + +The tempest of indignation which ensued would have swept away any +ordinary demon, but Belial listened unmoved. When Adeliza had +exhausted herself he smilingly rallied her upon her affection for an +unworthy lover, of whose infidelity he undertook to give her proof. +Frantic with jealousy, Adeliza consented, and in a trice found herself +in the infernal regions. + + * * * * * + +Adeliza's arrival in Pandemonium, as Belial had planned, occurred +immediately after the receipt of a message from Lucifer, in whose +bosom love had finally gained the victory, and who had telegraphed his +abdication and resignation of Madam Lucifer to Adeliza's betrothed. +The poor young man had just been hauled up from the lower depths, and +was beset by legions of demons obsequiously pressing all manner of +treasures upon his acceptance. He stared, helpless and bewildered, +unable to realize his position in the smallest degree. In the +background grave and serious demons, the princes of the infernal +realm, discussed the new departure, and consulted especially how to +break it to Madam Lucifer--a commission of which no one seemed +ambitious. + +"Stay where you are," whispered Belial to Adeliza; "stir not: you +shall put his constancy to the proof within five minutes." + +Not all the hustling, mowing, and gibbering of the fiends would under +ordinary circumstances have kept Adeliza from her lover's side: but +what is all hell to jealousy? + +In even less time than he had promised, Belial returned, accompanied +by Madam Lucifer. This lady's black robe, dripping with blood, +contrasted agreeably with her complexion of sulphurous yellow; the +absence of hair was compensated by the exceptional length of her +nails; she was a thousand million years old, and, but for her +remarkable muscular vigour, looked every one of them. The rage into +which Belial's communication had thrown her was something +indescribable; but, as her eye fell on the handsome youth, a different +order of thoughts seemed to take possession of her mind. + +"Let the monster go!" she exclaimed; "who cares? Come, my love, ascend +the throne with me, and share the empire and the treasures of thy fond +Luciferetta." + +"If you don't, back you go," interjected Belial. + +What might have been the young man's decision if Madam Lucifer had +borne more resemblance to Madam Vulcan, it would be wholly impertinent +to inquire, for the question never arose. + +"Take me away!" he screamed, "take me away, anywhere! anywhere out of +her reach! Oh, Adeliza!" + +With a bound Adeliza stood by his side. She was darting a triumphant +glance at the discomfited Queen of Hell, when suddenly her expression +changed, and she screamed loudly. Two adorers stood before her, alike +in every lineament and every detail of costume, utterly +indistinguishable, even by the eye of Love. + +Lucifer, in fact, hastening to throw himself at Adeliza's feet and +pray her to defer his bliss no longer, had been thunderstruck by the +tidings of her elopement with Belial. Fearing to lose his wife and his +dominions along with his sweetheart, he had sped to the nether regions +with such expedition that he had had no time to change his costume. +Hence the equivocation which confounded Adeliza, but at the same time +preserved her from being torn to pieces by the no less mystified Madam +Lucifer. + +Perceiving the state of the case, Lucifer with true gentlemanly +feeling resumed his proper semblance, and Madam Lucifer's talons were +immediately inserted into his whiskers. + +"My dear! my love!" he gasped, as audibly as she would let him, "is +this the way it welcomes its own Lucy-pucy?" + +"Who is that person?" demanded Madam Lucifer. + +"I don't know her," screamed the wretched Lucifer. "I never saw her +before. Take her away; shut her up in the deepest dungeon!" + +"Not if I know it," sharply replied Madam Lucifer. "You can't bear to +part with her, can't you? You would intrigue with her under my nose, +would you? Take that! and that! Turn them both out, I say! turn them +both out!" + +"Certainly, my dearest love, most certainly," responded Lucifer. + +"Oh, Sire," cried Moloch and Beelzebub together, "for Heaven's sake +let your Majesty consider what he is doing. The Inspector--" + +"Bother the Inspector!" screeched Lucifer. "D'ye think I'm not a +thousand times more afraid of your mistress than of all the saints in +the calendar? There," addressing Adeliza and her betrothed, "be off! +You'll find all debts paid, and a nice balance at the bank. Out! Run!" + +They did not wait to be told twice. Earth yawned. The gates of +Tartarus stood wide. They found themselves on the side of a steep +mountain, down which they scoured madly, hand linked in hand. But fast +as they ran, it was long ere they ceased to hear the tongue of Madam +Lucifer. + + + + +LUCIFER[28] + +BY ANATOLE FRANCE + + + [28] Taken by permission from _The Well of St. Claire_, by + Anatole France, translated by Alfred Allinson. Published, + 1909, by John Lane Co., New York. + + _E si compiacque tanto Spinello di farlo orribile e + contrafatto, che si dice (tanto puo alcuna fiata + l'immaginazione) che la detta figura da lui dipinta gli + apparve in sogno, domandandolo dove egli l' avesse veduta si + brutta._[29] + (_Vite de' piu eccellenti pittori, da Messer + Giorgio Vasari.--"Vita di Spinello."_) + + [29] "And so successful was Spinello with his horrible and + portentous Production that it was commonly reported--so great + is always the force of fancy--that the said figure (of + Lucifer trodden underfoot by St. Michael in the Altar-Piece + of the Church of St. Agnolo at Arezzo) painted by him had + appeared to the artist in a dream, and asked him in what + place he had beheld him under so brutish a form." + + _Lives of the most Excellent Painters_, by Giorgio + Vasari.--"Life of Spinello." + +Andrea Tafi, painter and worker-in-mosaic of Florence, had a wholesome +terror of the Devils of Hell, particularly in the watches of the +night, when it is given to the powers of Darkness to prevail. And the +worthy man's fears were not unreasonable, for in those days the Demons +had good cause to hate the Painters, who robbed them of more souls +with a single picture than a good little Preaching Friar could do in +thirty sermons. No doubt the Monk, to instil a soul-saving horror in +the hearts of the faithful, would describe to the utmost of his +powers "that day of wrath, that day of mourning," which is to reduce +the universe to ashes, _teste David et Sibylla_, borrowing his deepest +voice and bellowing through his hands to imitate the Archangel's last +trump. But there! it was "all sound and fury, signifying nothing," +whereas a painting displayed on a Chapel wall or in the Cloister, +showing Jesus Christ sitting on the Great White Throne to judge the +living and the dead, spoke unceasingly to the eyes of sinners, and +through the eyes chastened such as had sinned by the eyes or +otherwise. + +It was in the days when cunning masters were depicting at Santa-Croce +in Florence and the Campo Santo of Pisa the mysteries of Divine +Justice. These works were drawn according to the account in verse +which Dante Alighieri, a man very learned in Theology and in Canon +Law, wrote in days gone by of his journey to Hell, and Purgatory and +Paradise, whither by the singular great merits of his lady, he was +able to make his way alive. So everything in these paintings was +instructive and true, and we may say surely less profit is to be had +of reading the most full and ample Chronicle than from contemplating +such representative works of art. Moreover, the Florentine masters +took heed to paint, under the shade of orange groves, on the +flower-starred turf, fair ladies and gallant knights, with Death lying +in wait for them with his scythe, while they were discoursing of love +to the sound of lutes and viols. Nothing was better fitted to convert +carnal-minded sinners who quaff forgetfulness of God on the lips of +women. To rebuke the covetous, the painter would show to the life the +Devils pouring molten gold down the throat of Bishop or Abbess, who +had commissioned some work from him and then scamped his pay. + +This is why the Demons in those days were bitter enemies of the +painters, and above all of the Florentine painters, who surpassed all +the rest in subtlety of wit. Chiefly they reproached them with +representing them under a hideous guise, with the heads of bird and +fish, serpents' bodies and bats' wings. This sore resentment which +they felt will come out plainly in the history of Spinello of Arezzo. + +Spinello Spinelli was sprung of a noble family of Florentine exiles, +and his graciousness of mind matched his gentle birth; for he was the +most skilful painter of his time. He wrought many and great works at +Florence; and the Pisans begged him to complete Giotto's +wall-paintings in their Campo Santo, where the dead rest beneath roses +in holy earth shipped from Jerusalem. At last, after working long +years in divers cities and getting much gold, he longed to see once +more the good city of Arezzo, his mother. The men of Arezzo had not +forgotten how Spinello, in his younger days, being enrolled in the +Confraternity of Santa Maria della Misericordia, had visited the sick +and buried the dead in the plague of 1383. They were grateful to him +besides for having by his works spread the fame of their city over all +Tuscany. For all these reasons they welcomed him with high honours on +his return. + +Still full of vigour in his old age, he undertook important tasks in +his native town. His wife would tell him: + +"You are rich, Spinello. Do you rest, and leave younger men to paint +instead of you. It is meet a man should end his days in a gentle, +religious quiet. It is tempting God to be for ever raising new and +worldly monuments, mere heathen towers of Babel. Quit your colours and +your varnishes, Spinello, or they will destroy your peace of mind." + +So the good dame would preach, but he refused to listen, for his one +thought was to increase his fortune and renown. Far from resting on +his laurels, he arranged a price with the Wardens of Sant' Agnolo for +a history of St. Michael, that was to cover all the Choir of the +Church and contain an infinity of figures. Into this enterprise he +threw himself with extraordinary ardour. Re-reading the parts of +Scripture that were to be his inspiration, he set himself to study +deeply every line and every word of these passages. Not content with +drawing all day long in his workshop, he persisted in working both at +bed and board; while at dusk, walking below the hill on whose brow +Arezzo proudly lifts her walls and towers, he was still lost in +thought. And we may say the story of the Archangel was already limned +in his brain when he started to sketch out the incidents in red chalk +on the plaster of the wall. He was soon done tracing these outlines; +then he fell to painting above the high altar the scene that was to +outshine all the others in brilliancy. For it was his intent therein +to glorify the leader of the hosts of Heaven for the victory he won +before the beginning of time. Accordingly Spinello represented St. +Michael fighting in the air against the serpent with seven heads and +ten horns, and he figured with delight, in the bottom part of the +picture, the Prince of the Devils, Lucifer, under the semblance of an +appalling monster. The figures seemed to grow to life of themselves +under his hand. His success was beyond his fondest hopes; so hideous +was the countenance of Lucifer, none could escape the nightmare of its +foulness. The face haunted the painter in the streets and even went +home with him to his lodging. + +Presently when night was come, Spinello lay down in his bed beside his +wife and fell asleep. In his slumbers he saw an Angel as comely as St. +Michael, but black; and the Angel said to him: + +"Spinello, I am Lucifer. Tell me, where had you seen me, that you +should paint me as you have, under so ignominious a likeness?" + +The old painter answered, trembling, that he had never seen him with +his eyes, never having gone down alive into Hell, like Messer Dante +Alighieri; but that, in depicting him as he had done, he was for +expressing in visible lines and colours the hideousness of sin. + +Lucifer shrugged his shoulders, and the hill of San Gemignano seemed +of a sudden to heave and stagger. + +"Spinello," he went on, "will you do me the pleasure to reason awhile +with me? I am no mean Logician; He you pray to knows that." + +Receiving no reply, Lucifer proceeded in these terms: + +"Spinello, you have read the books that tell of me. You know of my +enterprise, and how I forsook Heaven to become the Prince of this +World. A tremendous adventure,--and a unique one, had not the Giants +in like fashion assailed the god Jupiter, as yourself have seen, +Spinello, recorded on an ancient tomb where this Titanic war is carved +in marble." + +"It is true," said Spinello, "I have seen the tomb, shaped like a +great tun, in the Church of Santa Reparata at Florence. 'Tis a fine +work of the Romans." + +"Still," returned Lucifer, smiling, "the Giants are not pictured on it +in the shape of frogs or chameleons or the like hideous and horrid +creatures." + +"True," replied the painter, "but then they had not attacked the true +God, but only a false idol of the Pagans. 'Tis a mighty difference. +The fact is clear, Lucifer, you raised the standard of revolt against +the true and veritable King of Earth and Heaven." + +"I will not deny it," said Lucifer. "And how many sorts of sins do you +charge me with for that?" + +"Seven, it is like enough," the painter answered, "and deadly sins one +and all." + +"Seven!" exclaimed the Angel of Darkness; "well! the number is +canonical. Everything goes by sevens in my history, which is close +bound up with God's. Spinello, you deem me proud, angry and envious. I +enter no protest, provided you allow that glory was my only aim. Do +you deem me covetous? Granted again; Covetousness is a virtue for +Princes. For Gluttony and Lust, if you hold me guilty, I will not +complain. Remains _Indolence_." + +As he pronounced the word, Lucifer crossed his arms across his breast, +and shaking his gloomy head, tossed his flaming locks: + +"Tell me, Spinello, do you really think I am indolent? Do you take me +for a coward? Do you hold that in my revolt I showed a lack of +courage? Nay! you cannot. Then it was but just to paint me in the +guise of a hero, with a proud countenance. You should wrong no one, +not even the Devil. Cannot you see that you insult Him you make prayer +to, when you give Him for adversary a vile, monstrous toad? Spinello, +you are very ignorant for a man of your age. I have a great mind to +pull your ears, as they do to an ill-conditioned schoolboy." + +At this threat, and seeing the arm of Lucifer already stretched out +towards him, Spinello clapped his hand to his head and began to howl +with terror. + +His good wife, waking up with a start, asked him what ailed him. He +told her with chattering teeth, how he had just seen Lucifer and had +been in terror for his ears. + +"I told you so," retorted the worthy dame; "I knew all those figures +you will go on painting on the walls would end by driving you mad." + +"I am not mad," protested the painter. "I saw him with my own eyes; +and he is beautiful to look on, albeit proud and sad. First thing +tomorrow I will blot out the horrid figure I have drawn and set in its +place the shape I beheld in my dream. For we must not wrong even the +Devil himself." + +"You had best go to sleep again," scolded his wife. "You are talking +stark nonsense, and unchristian to boot." + +Spinello tried to rise, but his strength failed him and he fell back +unconscious on his pillow. He lingered on a few days in a high fever, +and then died. + + + + +THE DEVIL[30] + +BY MAXIM GORKY + + + [30] From the _National Magazine_, vol. XV. By permission of + the Editor and Translator. + +Life is a burden in the Fall,--the sad season of decay and death! + +The grey days, the weeping, sunless sky, the dark nights, the +growling, whining wind, the heavy, black autumn shadows--all that +drives clouds of gloomy thoughts over the human soul, and fills it +with a mysterious fear of life where nothing is permanent, all is in +an eternal flux; things are born, decay, die ... why? ... for what +purpose?... + +Sometimes the strength fails us to battle against the tenebrous +thoughts that enfold the soul late in the autumn, therefore those who +want to assuage their bitterness ought to meet them half way. This is +the only way by which they will escape from the chaos of despair and +doubt, and will enter on the terra firma of self-confidence. + +But it is a laborious path, it leads through thorny brambles that +lacerate the living heart, and on that path the devil always lies in +ambush. It is that best of all the devils, with whom the great Goethe +has made us acquainted.... + +My story is about that devil. + + * * * * * + +The devil suffered from ennui. + +He is too wise to ridicule everything. + +He knows that there are phenomena of life which the devil himself is +not able to rail at; for example, he has never applied the sharp +scalpel of his irony to the majestic fact of his existence. To tell +the truth, our favourite devil is more bold than clever, and if we +were to look more closely at him, we might discover that, like +ourselves, he wastes most of his time on trifles. But we had better +leave that alone; we are not children that break their best toys in +order to discover what is in them. + +The devil once wandered over the cemetery in the darkness of an autumn +night: he felt lonely and whistled softly as he looked around himself +in search of a distraction. He whistled an old song--my father's +favourite song,-- + + "When, in autumnal days, + A leaf from its branch is torn + And on high by the wind is borne." + +And the wind sang with him, soughing over the graves and among the +black crosses, and heavy autumnal clouds slowly crawled over the +heaven and with their cold tears watered the narrow dwellings of the +dead. The mournful trees in the cemetery timidly creaked under the +strokes of the wind and stretched their bare branches to the +speechless clouds. The branches were now and then caught by the +crosses, and then a dull, shuffling, awful sound passed over the +churchyard.... + +The devil was whistling, and he thought: + +"I wonder how the dead feel in such weather! No doubt, the dampness +goes down to them, and although they are secure against rheumatism +ever since the day of their death, yet, I suppose, they do not feel +comfortable. How, if I called one of them up and had a talk with him? +It would be a little distraction for me, and, very likely, for him +also. I will call him! Somewhere around here they have buried an old +friend of mine, an author.... I used to visit him when he was alive +... why not renew our acquaintance? People of his kind are dreadfully +exacting. I shall find out whether the grave satisfies him completely. +But where is his grave?" + +And the devil who, as is well known, knows everything, wandered for a +long time about the cemetery, before he found the author's grave.... + +"Oh there!" he called out as he knocked with his claws at the heavy +stone under which his acquaintance was put away. + +"Get up!" + +"What for?" came the dull answer from below. + +"I need you." + +"I won't get up." + +"Why?" + +"Who are you, anyway?" + +"You know me." + +"The censor?" + +"Ha, ha, ha! No!" + +"Maybe a secret policeman?" + +"No, no!" + +"Not a critic, either?" + +"I am the devil." + +"Well, I'll be out in a minute." + +The stone lifted itself from the grave, the earth burst open, and a +skeleton came out of it. It was a very common skeleton, just the kind +that students study anatomy by: only it was dirty, had no wire +connections, and in the empty sockets there shone a blue phosphoric +light instead of eyes. It crawled out of the ground, shook its bones +in order to throw off the earth that stuck to them, making a dry, +rattling noise with them, and raising up its skull, looked with its +cold, blue eyes at the murky, cloud-covered sky. "I hope you are +well!" said the devil. + +"How can I be?" curtly answered the author. He spoke in a strange, low +voice, as if two bones were grating against each other. + +"Oh, excuse my greeting!" the devil said pleasantly. + +"Never mind!... But why have you raised me?" + +"I just wanted to take a walk with you, though the weather is very +bad. + +"I suppose you are not afraid of catching a cold?" asked the devil. + +"Not at all, I got used to catching colds during my lifetime." + +"Yes, I remember, you died pretty cold." + +"I should say I did! They had poured enough cold water over me all my +life." + +They walked beside each other over the narrow path, between graves and +crosses. Two blue beams fell from the author's eyes upon the ground +and lit the way for the devil. A drizzling rain sprinkled over them, +and the wind freely passed between the author's bare ribs and through +his breast where there was no longer a heart. + +"We are going to town?" he asked the devil. + +"What interests you there?" + +"Life, my dear sir," the author said impassionately. + +"What! It still has a meaning for you?" + +"Indeed it has!" + +"But why?" + +"How am I to say it? A man measures all by the quantity of his effort, +and if he carries a common stone down from the summit of Ararat, that +stone becomes a gem to him." + +"Poor fellow!" smiled the devil. + +"But also happy man!" the author retorted coldly. + +The devil shrugged his shoulders. + +They left the churchyard, and before them lay a street,--two rows of +houses, and between them was darkness in which the miserable lamps +clearly proved the want of light upon earth. + +"Tell me," the devil spoke after a pause, "how do you like your +grave?" + +"Now I am used to it, and it is all right: it is very quiet there." + +"Is it not damp down there in the Fall?" asked the devil. + +"A little. But you get used to that. The greatest annoyance comes from +those various idiots who ramble over the cemetery and accidentally +stumble on my grave. I don't know how long I have been lying in my +grave, for I and everything around me is unchangeable, and the concept +of time does not exist for me." + +"You have been in the ground four years,--it will soon be five," said +the devil. + +"Indeed? Well then, there have been three people at my grave during +that time. Those accursed people make me nervous. One, you see, +straight away denied the fact of my existence: he read my name on the +tombstone and said confidently: 'There never was such a man! I have +never read him, though I remember such a name: when I was a boy, there +lived a man of that name who had a broker's shop in our street.' How +do you like that? And my articles appeared for sixteen years in the +most popular periodicals, and three times during my lifetime my books +came out in separate editions." + +"There were two more editions since your death," the devil informed +him. + +"Well, you see? Then came two, and one of them said: 'Oh, that's that +fellow!' 'Yes, that is he!' answered the other. 'Yes, they used to +read him in the auld lang syne.' 'They read a lot of them.' 'What was +it he preached?' 'Oh, generally, ideas of beauty, goodness, and so +forth.' 'Oh, yes, I remember.' 'He had a heavy tongue.' 'There is a +lot of them in the ground:--yes, Russia is rich in talents' ... And +those asses went away. It is true, warm words do not raise the +temperature of the grave, and I do not care for that, yet it hurts me. +And oh, how I wanted to give them a piece of my mind!" + +"You ought to have given them a fine tongue-lashing!" smiled the +devil. + +"No, that would not have done. On the verge of the twentieth century +it would be absurd for dead people to scold, and, besides, it would be +hard on the materialists." + +The devil again felt the ennui coming over him. + +This author had always wished in his lifetime to be a bridegroom at +all weddings and a corpse at all burials, and now that all is dead in +him, his egotism is still alive. Is man of any importance to life? Of +importance is only the human spirit, and only the spirit deserves +applause and recognition.... How annoying people are! The devil was on +the point of proposing to the author to return to his grave, when an +idea flashed through his evil head. They had just reached a square, +and heavy masses of buildings surrounded them on all sides. The dark, +wet sky hung low over the square; it seemed as though it rested on the +roofs and murkily looked at the dirty earth. + +"Say," said the devil as he inclined pleasantly towards the author, +"don't you want to know how your wife is getting on?" + +"I don't know whether I want to," the author spoke slowly. + +"I see, you are a thorough corpse!" called out the devil to annoy him. + +"Oh, I don't know?" said the author and jauntily shook his bones. "I +don't mind seeing her; besides, she will not see me, or if she will, +she cannot recognize me!" + +"Of course!" the devil assured him. + +"You know, I only said so because she did not like for me to go away +long from home," explained the author. + +And suddenly the wall of a house disappeared or became as transparent +as glass. The author saw the inside of large apartments, and it was so +light and cosy in them. + +"Elegant appointments!" he grated his bones approvingly: "Very fine +appointments! If I had lived in such rooms, I would be alive now." + +"I like it, too," said the devil and smiled. "And it is not +expensive--it only costs some three thousands." + +"Hem, that not expensive? I remember my largest work brought me 815 +roubles, and I worked over it a whole year. But who lives here?" + +"Your wife," said the devil. + +"I declare! That is good ... for her." + +"Yes, and here comes her husband." + +"She is so pretty now, and how well she is dressed! Her husband, you +say? What a fine looking fellow! Rather a bourgeois phiz,--kind, but +somewhat stupid! He looks as if he might be cunning,--well, just the +face to please a woman." + +"Do you want me to heave a sigh for you?" the devil proposed and +looked maliciously at the author. But he was taken up with the scene +before him. + +"What happy, jolly faces both have! They are evidently satisfied with +life. Tell me, does she love him?" + +"Oh, yes, very much!" + +"And who is he?" + +"A clerk in a millinery shop." + +"A clerk in a millinery shop," the author repeated slowly and did not +utter a word for some time. The devil looked at him and smiled a merry +smile. + +"Do you like that?" he asked. + +The author spoke with an effort: + +"I had some children.... I know they are alive.... I had some children +... a son and a daughter.... I used to think then that my son would +turn out in time a good man...." + +"There are plenty of good men, but what the world needs is perfect +men," said the devil coolly and whistled a jolly march. + +"I think the clerk is probably a poor pedagogue ... and my son...." + +The author's empty skull shook sadly. + +"Just look how he is embracing her! They are living an easy life!" +exclaimed the devil. + +"Yes. Is that clerk a rich man?" + +"No, he was poorer than I, but your wife is rich." + +"My wife? Where did she get the money from?" + +"From the sale of your books!" + +"Oh!" said the author and shook his bare and empty skull. "Oh! Then it +simply means that I have worked for a certain clerk?" + +"I confess it looks that way," the devil chimed in merrily. + +The author looked at the ground and said to the devil: "Take me back +to my grave!" + +... It was late. A rain fell, heavy clouds hung in the sky, and the +author rattled his bones as he marched rapidly to his grave.... The +devil walked behind him and whistled merrily. + + * * * * * + +My reader is, of course, dissatisfied. My reader is surfeited with +literature, and even the people that write only to please him, are +rarely to his taste. In the present case my reader is also +dissatisfied because I have said nothing about hell. As my reader is +justly convinced that after death he will find his way there, he would +like to know something about hell during his lifetime. Really, I can't +tell anything pleasant to my reader on that score, because there is no +hell, no fiery hell which it is so easy to imagine. Yet, there is +something else and infinitely more terrible. + +The moment the doctor will have said about you to your friends: "He is +dead!" you will enter an immeasurable, illuminated space, and that is +the space of the consciousness of your mistakes. + +You lie in the grave, in a narrow coffin, and your miserable life +rotates about you like a wheel. + +It moves painfully slow, and passes before you from your first +conscious step to the last moment of your life. + +You will see all that you have hidden from yourself during your +lifetime, all the lies and meanness of your existence: you will think +over anew all your past thoughts, and you will see every wrong step of +yours,--all your life will be gone over, to its minutest details! + +And to increase your torments, you will know that on that narrow and +stupid road which you have traversed, others are marching, and pushing +each other, and hurrying, and lying.... And you understand that they +are doing it all only to find out in time how shameful it is to live +such a wretched, soulless life. + +And though you see them hastening on towards their destruction, you +are in no way able to warn them: you will not move nor cry, and your +helpless desire to aid them will tear your soul to pieces. + +Your life passes before you, and you see it from the start, and there +is no end to the work of your conscience, and there will be no end ... +and to the horror of your torments there will never be an end ... +never! + + + + +THE DEVIL AND THE OLD MAN[31] + +BY JOHN MASEFIELD + + + [31] From _A Mainsail Haul_, by John Masefield [Copyright + 1913 by The Macmillan Company. Reprinted by permission of the + Author and the Publishers.] + +Up away north, in the old days, in Chester, there was a man who never +throve. Nothing he put his hand to ever prospered, and as his state +worsened, his friends fell away, and he grew desperate. So one night +when he was alone in his room, thinking of the rent due in two or +three days and the money he couldn't scrape together, he cried out, "I +wish I could sell my soul to the devil like that man the old books +tell about." + +Now just as he spoke the clock struck twelve, and, while it chimed, a +sparkle began to burn about the room, and the air, all at once, began +to smell of brimstone, and a voice said: + +"Will these terms suit you?" + +He then saw that some one had just placed a parchment there. He picked +it up and read it through; and being in despair, and not knowing what +he was doing, he answered, "Yes," and looked round for a pen. + +"Take and sign," said the voice again, "but first consider what it is +you do; do nothing rashly. Consider." + +So he thought awhile; then "Yes," he said, "I'll sign," and with that +he groped for the pen. + +"Blood from your left thumb and sign," said the voice. + +So he pricked his left thumb and signed. + +"Here is your earnest money," said the voice, "nine and twenty silver +pennies. This day twenty years hence I shall see you again." + +Now early next morning our friend came to himself and felt like one of +the drowned. "What a dream I've had," he said. Then he woke up and saw +the nine and twenty silver pennies and smelt a faint smell of +brimstone. + +So he sat in his chair there, and remembered that he had sold his soul +to the devil for twenty years of heart's-desire; and whatever fears he +may have had as to what might come at the end of those twenty years, +he found comfort in the thought that, after all, twenty years is a +good stretch of time, and that throughout them he could eat, drink, +merrymake, roll in gold, dress in silk, and be care-free, heart at +ease and jib-sheet to windward. + +So for nineteen years and nine months he lived in great state, having +his heart's desire in all things; but, when his twenty years were +nearly run through, there was no wretcheder man in all the world than +that poor fellow. So he threw up his house, his position, riches, +everything, and away he went to the port of Liverpool, where he signed +on as A. B., aboard a Black Ball packet, a tea clipper, bound to the +China seas. + +They made a fine passage out, and when our friend had only three days +more, they were in the Indian Ocean lying lazy, becalmed. + +Now it was his wheel that forenoon, and it being dead calm, all he +had to do was just to think of things; the ship of course having no +way on her. + +So he stood there, hanging on to the spokes, groaning and weeping +till, just twenty minutes or so before eight bells were made, up came +the Captain for a turn on deck. + +He went aft, of course, took a squint aloft, and saw our friend crying +at the wheel. "Hello, my man," he says, "why, what's all this? Ain't +you well? You'd best lay aft for a dose o'salts at four bells +tonight." + +"No, Cap'n," said the man, "there's no salts'll ever cure my +sickness." + +"Why, what's all this?" says the old man. "You must be sick if it's as +bad as all that. But come now; your cheek is all sunk, and you look as +if you ain't slept well. What is it ails you, anyway? Have you +anything on your mind?" + +"Captain," he answers very solemn, "I have sold my soul to the devil." + +"Oh," said the old man, "why, that's bad. That's powerful bad. I never +thought them sort of things ever happened outside a book." + +"But," said our friend, "that's not the worst of it, Captain. At this +time three days hence the devil will fetch me home." + +"Good Lord!" groaned the old man. "Here's a nice hurrah's nest to +happen aboard my ship. But come now," he went on, "did the devil give +you no chance--no saving-clause like? Just think quietly for a +moment." + +"Yes, Captain," said our friend, "just when I made the deal, there +came a whisper in my ear. And," he said, speaking very quietly, so as +not to let the mate hear, "if I can give the devil three jobs to do +which he cannot do, why, then, Captain," he says, "I'm saved, and that +deed of mine is cancelled." + +Well, at this the old man grinned and said, "You just leave things to +me, my son. _I'll_ fix the devil for you. Aft there, one o' you, and +relieve the wheel. Now you run forrard, and have a good watch below, +and be quite easy in your mind, for I'll deal with the devil for you. +You rest and be easy." + +And so that day goes by, and the next, and the one after that, and the +one after that was the day the Devil was due. + +Soon as eight bells was made in the morning watch, the old man called +all hands aft. + +"Men," he said, "I've got an all-hands job for you this forenoon." + +"Mr. Mate," he cried, "get all hands on to the main-tops'l halliards +and bowse the sail stiff up and down." + +So they passed along the halliards, and took the turns off, and old +John Chantyman piped up-- + + There's a Black Ball clipper + Comin' down the river. + +And away the yard went to the mast-head till the bunt-robands jammed +in the sheave. + +"Very well that," said the old man. "Now get my dinghy off o' the +half-deck and let her drag alongside." + +So they did that, too. + +"Very well that," said the old man. "Now forrard with you, to the +chain-locker, and rouse out every inch of chain you find there." + +So forrard they went, and the chain was lighted up and flaked along +the deck all clear for running. + +"Now, Chips," says the old man to the carpenter, "just bend the spare +anchor to the end of that chain, and clear away the fo'c's'le rails +ready for when we let go." + +So they did this, too. + +"Now," said the old man, "get them tubs of slush from the galley. Pass +that slush along there, doctor. Very well that. Now turn to, all +hands, and slush away every link in that chain a good inch thick in +grease." + +So they did that, too, and wondered what the old man meant. + +"Very well that," cries the old man. "Now get below all hands! Chips, +on to the fo'c's'le head with you and stand by! I'll keep the deck, +Mr. Mate! Very well that." + +So all hands tumbled down below; Chips took a fill o' baccy to leeward +of the capstan, and the old man walked the weather-poop looking for a +sign of hell-fire. + +It was still dead calm--but presently, towards six bells, he raised a +black cloud away to leeward, and saw the glimmer of the lightning in +it; only the flashes were too red, and came too quick. + +"Now," says he to himself, "stand by." + +Very soon that black cloud worked up to windward, right alongside, and +there came a red flash, and a strong sulphurous smell, and then a loud +peal of thunder as the devil steps aboard. + +"Mornin', Cap'n," says he. + +"Mornin', Mr. Devil," says the old man, "and what in blazes do you +want aboard _my_ ship?" + +"Why, Captain," said the devil, "I've come for the soul of one of your +hands as per signed agreement: and, as my time's pretty full up in +these wicked days, I hope you won't keep me waiting for him longer +than need be." + +"Well, Mr. Devil," says the old man, "the man you come for is down +below, sleeping, just at this moment. It's a fair pity to call him up +till it's right time. So supposin' I set you them three tasks. How +would that be? Have you any objections?" + +"Why, no," said the devil, "fire away as soon as you like." + +"Mr. Devil," said the old man, "you see that main-tops'l yard? Suppose +you lay out on that main-tops'l yard and take in three reefs +singlehanded." + +"Ay, ay, sir," the devil said, and he ran up the rat-lines, into the +top, up the topmast rigging and along the yard. + +Well, when he found the sail stiff up and down, he hailed the deck: + +"Below there! On deck there! Lower away ya halliards!" + +"I will not," said the old man, "nary a lower." + +"Come up your sheets, then," cries the devil. "This main-topsail's +stiff up-and-down. How'm I to take in three reefs when the sail's +stiff up-and-down?" + +"Why," said the old man, "_you can't do it_. Come out o' that! Down +from aloft, you hoof-footed son. That's one to me." + +"Yes," says the devil, when he got on deck again, "I don't deny it, +Cap'n. That's one to you." + +"Now, Mr. Devil," said the old man, going towards the rail, "suppose +you was to step into that little boat alongside there. Will you +please?" + +"Ay, ay, sir," he said, and he slid down the forrard fall, got into +the stern sheets, and sat down. + +"Now, Mr. Devil," said the skipper, taking a little salt spoon from +his vest pocket, "supposin' you bail all the water on that side the +boat on to this side the boat, using this spoon as your dipper." + +Well!--the devil just looked at him. + +"Say!" he said at length, "which of the New England States d'ye hail +from anyway?" + +"Not Jersey, anyway," said the old man. "That's two up, alright; ain't +it, sonny?" + +"Yes," growls the devil, as he climbs aboard. "That's two up. Two to +you and one to play. Now, what's your next contraption?" + +"Mr. Devil," said the old man, looking very innocent, "you see, I've +ranged my chain ready for letting go anchor. Now Chips is forrard +there, and when I sing out, he'll let the anchor go. Supposin' you +stopper the chain with them big hands o' yourn and keep it from +running out clear. Will you, please?" + +So the devil takes off his coat and rubs his hands together, and gets +away forrard by the bitts, and stands by. + +"All ready, Cap'n," he says. + +"All ready, Chips?" asked the old man. + +"All ready, sir," replies Chips. + +"Then, stand by--Let _go_ the anchor," and clink, clink, old Chips +knocks out the pin, and away goes the spare anchor and greased chain +into a five mile deep of God's sea. As I said, they were in the Indian +Ocean. + +Well--there was the devil, making a grab here and a grab there, and +the slushy chain just slipping through his claws, and at whiles a +bight of chain would spring clear and rap him in the eye. + +So at last the cable was nearly clean gone, and the devil ran to the +last big link (which was seized to the heel of the foremast), and he +put both his arms through it, and hung on to it like grim death. + +But the chain gave such a _Yank_ when it came-to, that the big link +carried away, and oh, roll and go, out it went through the hawsehole, +in a shower of bright sparks, carrying the devil with it. There is no +devil now. The devil's dead. + +As for the old man, he looked over the bows watching the bubbles +burst, but the devil never rose. Then he went to the fo'c's'le scuttle +and banged thereon with a hand-spike. + +"Rouse out, there, the port watch!" he called, "an' get my dinghy +inboard." + + + + +NOTES + + + + +THE DEVIL IN A NUNNERY + +BY FRANCIS OSCAR MANN + + +According to a German legend, the devil is master of all arts, and +certainly he has given sufficient proof of his musical talent. Certain +Church Fathers ascribed, not without good reason, the origin of music +to Satan. "The Devil," says Mr. Huneker in his diabolical story "The +Supreme Sin" (1920), "is the greatest of all musicians," and Rowland +Hill long ago admitted the fact that the devil has all the good tunes. +Perhaps his greatest composition is the _Sonata del Diavolo_, which +Tartini wrote down in 1713. This diabolical master-piece is the +subject of Gerard de Nerval's story _La Sonate du Diable_ (1830). +While the devil plays all instruments equally well, he seems to prefer +the violin. Satan appears as fiddler in the poem "Der Teufel mit der +Geige," which has been ascribed to the Swiss anti-Papist Pamphilus +Gengenbach of the sixteenth century. In Leanu's _Faust_ (1836) +Mephistopheles takes the violin out of the hands of one of the +musicians at a peasant-wedding and plays a diabolical _czardas_, which +fills the hearts of all who hear it with voluptuousness. An opera _Un +Violon du Diable_ was played in Paris in 1849. _The Devil's Violin_, +an extravaganza in verse by Benjamin Webster, was performed the same +year in London. In his story "Les Tentations ou Eros, Plutus et la +Gloire" Baudelaire presents the Demon of Love as holding in his left +hand a violin "which without doubt served to sing his pleasures and +pains." The devil also appears as limping fiddler in a California +legend, which appeared under the title "The Devil's Fiddle" in a +Californian magazine in 1855. Death, the devil's first cousin, if not +his _alter ego_, has the souls, in the Dance of Death, march off to +hell to a merry tune on his violin. Death appears as a musician also +in the Piper of Hamlin. In this legend, well known to the English +world through Browning's poem "Pied Piper of Hamelin" (1843) and Miss +Peabody's play _The Piper_ (1909), the rats are the human souls, which +Death charms with his music into following him. In the Middle Ages the +soul was often represented as leaving the body in the form of a mouse. +The soul of a good man comes out of his mouth as a white mouse, while +at the death of a sinner the soul escapes as a black mouse, which the +devil catches and brings to hell. Mephistopheles, it will be recalled, +calls himself "the lord of rats and mice" (_Faust_, 1, 1516). +Devil-Death has inherited this wind instrument from the goat-footed +Pan. + +"The Devil is more busy in the convents," we are told by J. K. +Huysmans in his novel _En route_ (1895), "than in the cities, as he +has a harder job on hand." + + + + +BELPHAGOR + +BY NICCOLO MACHIAVELLI + + +This story of the devil Belphagor, who was sent by his infernal chief +Pluto up to earth, where he married an earthly wife, but finally left +her in disgust to go back to hell, is also of mediaeval origin. It was +first printed by Giovanni Brevio in 1545, and appeared for the second +time with the name of Machiavelli in 1549, twenty-two years after the +death of the diabolical statesman. The two authors did not borrow from +each other, but had a common source in a mediaeval Latin manuscript, +which seems to have first fallen into the hands of Italians, but was +later brought to France where it has been lost. The tale of the +marriage of the devil appeared in several other Italian versions +during the sixteenth century. Among the Italian novelists, who retold +it for the benefit of their married friends, may be mentioned +Giovan-Francesco Straparola, Francesco Sansovino, and Gabriel +Chappuys. In England this story was no less popular. Barnabe Riche +inserted it in his collection of narratives in 1581, and we meet it +again later in the following plays: _Grim, the Collier of Croydon_, +ascribed to Ulpian Fulwell (1599); _The Devil and his Dame_ by P. M. +Houghton (1600); _Machiavel and the Devil_ by Daborne and Henslowe +(1613); _The Devil is an Ass_ by Ben Jonson (1616); and _Belphagor, or +the Marriage of the Devil_ (1690). In France the story was treated in +verse by La Fontaine (1694), and in Germany it served the Nuremberg +poet Hans Sachs as the subject for a farce (1557). + +The _Encyclopaedia Britannica_ is authority for the statement that +Machiavelli's own married life had nothing to do with the plot of his +story. + +"The notion of this story is ingenious, and might have been made +productive of entertaining incident, had Belphagor been led by his +connubial connections from one crime to another. But Belphagor is only +unfortunate, and in no respect guilty; nor did anything occur during +his abode on earth that testified to the power of woman in leading us +to final condemnation. The story of the peasant and the possession of +the princesses bears no reference to the original idea with which the +tale commences, and has no connection with the object of the infernal +deputy's terrestrial sojourn" (J. C. Dunlop, _History of Fiction_). To +this criticism Mr. Thomas Roscoe replies that "part of the humour of +the story seems to consist in Belphagor's earthly career being cut +short before he had served the full term of his apprenticeship. But +from the follies and extravagances into which he had already plunged, +we are now authorized to believe that, even if he had been able longer +to support the asperities of the lady's temper, he must, from the +course he was pursuing, have been led from crime to crime, or at least +from folly to folly, to such a degree that he would infallibly have +been condemned" (T. Roscoe, _Italian Novelists_). + +The demon of Machiavelli offers no features of a deep psychology, but +he distinguishes himself from the other demons of his period by his +elegant manners. Like creator, like creature. + +Belphagor, the god of the Moabites, like all other pagan gods, joined +the infernal forces of Satan when driven off the earth by the Church +Triumphant. + +The parliament of devils, which we find in this story, was taken from +the mystery-plays where the ruler of hell is represented as holding +occasional receptions when he listens to the reports of their recent +achievements on his behalf, and consults their opinion on matters of +state. Satan, who has always wished to rival God, has instituted the +infernal council in imitation of the celestial council described in +the Book of Job. The source for the parliament of devils is the +apocryphal book _Evangelium Nicodemi_. An early metrical tract under +the title of the _Parlement of Devils_ was printed two or three times +in London about 1520. A "Pandemonium" is also found in Tasso, Milton, +and Chateaubriand. The _Parlement of Foules_ (14th century) is but a +modification of the _Parlement of Devils_, for the devil and the fool +were originally identical in person and may be traced back to the +demonic clown of the ancient heathen cult (cf. the present writer's +book, _The Origin of the German Carnival Comedy_, p. 37). A far echo +is Thomas Chatterton's poem _The Parliament of Sprites_. + +This story recalls to us the saying that the heart of a beautiful +woman is the most beloved hiding-place of at least seven devils. + + + + +THE DEVIL AND TOM WALKER + +BY WASHINGTON IRVING + + +By his interest in popular legends the first of the great American +writers shows his sympathy with the Romantic movement, which prevailed +in his time in all the countries of Europe. His devil, however, has +not been imported from the lands across the Atlantic, but is a part of +the superstitions of the New World. The author himself did not believe +in "Old Scratch." The real devils for him were the slave-traders and +the witch-hunters of Salem fame. It is interesting now to read a +contemporary critic of Washington Irving's devil-story: "If Mr. Irving +believes in the existence of Tom Walker's master, we can scarcely +conceive how he can so earnestly jest about him; at all events, we +would counsel him to beware lest his own spells should prove fatal to +him" (_Eclectic Review_, 1825). Few people in those days had the +courage to take Old Nick good-naturedly. "Even the clever Madame de +Stael," said Goethe, "was greatly scandalized that I kept the devil in +such good-humour." + +The devil appears in many colours, principally, however, in black and +red. It is a common belief in Scotland that the devil is a black man, +as may also be seen in Robert Louis Stevenson's story "Thrawn Janet." +There is no warrant in the biblical tradition for a black devil. +Satan, however, appeared as an Ethiopian as far back as the days of +the Church Fathers. The black colour presumably is intended to suggest +his place of abode, whereas red denotes the scorching fires of hell. +The devil was considered as a sort of eternal Salamander. In the New +Testament he is described as a fiery fiend. Red was considered by +Oriental nations as a diabolical colour. In Egypt red hair and red +animals of all kinds were considered infernal. The Apis was also +red-coloured. Satan's red beard recalls the Scandinavian god Donar or +Thor, who is of Phoenician origin. Judas was always represented in +mediaeval mystery-plays with a red beard; and down to the present day +red hair is the mark of a suspicious character. The devil also appears +as yellow, and even blue, but never as white or green. The yellow +devil is but a shade less bright than his fiery brother. The blue +devil is a sulphur-constitutioned individual. He is the demon of +melancholy, and fills us with "the blues." As the spirit of darkness +and death, the devil cannot assume the colours of white or green, +which are the symbols of light and life. The devil's dragon-tail is, +according to Sir Walter Scott, of biblical tradition, coming from a +literal interpretation of a figurative expression. + +A few interesting remarks on the expression "The Devil and Tom Walker" +current in certain parts of this country as a caution to usurers will +be found in Dr. Blondheim's article "The Devil and Doctor Foster" in +_Modern Language Notes_ for 1918. + + + + +FROM THE MEMOIRS OF SATAN + +BY WILHELM HAUFF + + +Wilhelm Hauff, the author of this book, ranks honourably among the +members of the Romantic School in Germany. As the work of a man of +only twenty-two years, just out of the university, the book is a +credit to its author. It must be admitted, however, that it was not +altogether original with him. The idea was taken from E. Th. A. +Hoffmann,--Devil-Hoffmann, as he was called by his contemporaries,--who +in his short-story "Der Teufel in Berlin" also has the devil travel +incognito in Germany; and the title was borrowed from Jean Paul +Richter, who also claimed to edit _Selections from the Devil's Papers_ +(_Auswahl aus des Teufels Papieren, 1789_). There were others, too, +who claimed to have been honoured by his Satanic Majesty to edit his +"journal." J. R. Beard, a Unitarian minister, published in 1872 an +_Autobiography of Satan_. Another autobiography of Satan is said to +have been found among the posthumous works of Leonid Andreev, author +of that original diabolical work _Anathema, a tragedy_ (Engl. tr. +1910). This book has just appeared in English under the title _Satan's +Diary_. Frederic Soulie's _Les Memoires du Diable_ (1837/8) consist of +memoirs not of the devil himself, but of other people, which the Count +de Luizzi, the human partner to the diabolical pact, is very anxious +to know. Hauff's book consists of a series of papers, which are but +loosely connected. In certain passages we hear nothing of the +autobiographer. The Suavian writer apparently could digest the +Diabolical only in homeopathic doses. His Satan, moreover, is a very +youthful and quite harmless devil. He is nothing but a personified +echo of the author's student-days. The book by Hauff is perhaps the +most popular personification of the devil in German literature. + +The passage presented here shows the phantastic element of the book at +its best. The short introductory synopsis will give an idea of its +satirical aspect. The humorous aspect has pretty nearly been lost in +translation. Professor Brander Matthews has aptly said: "The German +humour is like the simple Italian wines--it will not stand export." + +Of all the peoples, the Germans seem to have had the most kindly +feelings towards the devil. This is because they knew him better. To +judge from the many bridges and cathedrals, which the demon, according +to legends, has built in Germany, he must have been a frequent visitor +to that country. In Frankfort, where with his own hands our author +received the memoirs from the autobiographer, there is a gilded cock +above the bridge in memory of the bargain the bridge-builder once made +with Satan to give him the first living thing that should cross the +river. The day the bridge was finished, a cock fluttered from a +woman's market-basket and ran over the bridge. A claw-like hand +reached down and claimed the prize. + +The distinguished personage, whose adventures form the subject of this +book, does not figure in it under his own name, nor does he appear +here in the gala attire of tail, horns and cloven foot with which he +graces the revels on the Blocksberg. He borrows for the nonce a tall, +gentlemanly figure, surmounted by delicate features, dresses well, is +fastidious about his ring and linen, travels post and stops at the +best hotels. He begins his earthly career by studying at the renowned +university of ----. As he can boast of abundant means, a handsome +wardrobe and the name of Herr von Barbe, it is no wonder that on the +first evening he should be politely received, the next morning have a +confidential friend, and the second evening embrace "brothers till +death." He becomes much puzzled at the extraordinary manners of the +students, and at their language, so different from that of every +rational German. He remarks: "Over a glass of beer they often fell +into singularly transcendental investigations, of which I understood +little or nothing. However, I observed the principal words, and when +drawn into a conversation, replied with a grave air--'Freedom, +Fatherland, Nationality.'" He attends the lectures of a celebrated +professor, whose profundity of thought and terseness of style are so +astounding, that the German world set him down as possessed; the +critical student, however, differs somewhat from that conclusion, +observing-- + +"I have borne a great deal in the world. I have even entered into +swine," ("The devil," said Luther, "knows Scripture well and he uses +it in argument") "but into such a philosopher? No, indeed! I had +rather be excused." + +The episode here reprinted occurred in a hotel in Frankfort, where our +incognito is known as Herr von Natas (which, it will be noticed, is +his more familiar name read backwards). His brilliant powers of +conversation, his adroit flattery, courteous gallantry, and elegant, +though wayward flights of imagination, soon rendered him the delight +of the whole _table d'hote_. All guests, including our author, were +fascinated by the mysterious stranger. But we will let the author +himself tell his story. + + + + +ST. JOHN'S EVE + +BY NIKOLAI VASILEVICH GOGOL + + +This story, taken from _Evenings on a Farm near Dikanka_, a series of +sketches of the life of the Ukrainian peasants, offers a good +illustration of the author's art, which was a combination of the +romantic and realistic elements. In these pages Gogol wished to record +the myths and legends still current among the plain folk of his +beloved Ukrainia. The devil naturally enough peeps out here and there +through the pages of this book. Gogol's devil is a product of the +Russian soil, "the spirit of mischief and cunning, whom Russian +literature is always trying to outplay and overcome" (Mme. Jarintzow, +_Russian Poets and Poems_). + +According to European superstition St. John's Eve is the only evening +in the year when his Satanic Majesty reveals himself in his proper +shape to the eyes of men. If you wish to behold his Highness face to +face, stand on St. John's Eve at midnight near a mustard-plant. It is +suggested by Sir James Frazer in his _Golden Bough_ that, in the +chilly air of the upper world, this prince from a warmer clime may be +attracted by the warmth of the mustard. + +It is believed in many parts of Europe that treasures can be found on +St. John's Eve by means of the fern-seed. Even without the use of this +plant treasures are sometimes said to bloom or burn in the earth, or +to reveal their presence by a bluish flame on Midsummer Eve. As +guardian of treasures the devil is the successor of the gnome. + + + + +THE DEVIL'S WAGER + +BY WILLIAM MAKEPEACE THACKERAY + + +_The Devil's Wager_ is Thackeray's earliest attempt at story-writing, +was contributed to a weekly literary paper with the imposing title +_The National Standard, and Journal of Literature, Science, Music, +Theatricals, and the Fine Arts_, of which he was proprietor and +editor, and was reprinted in the _Paris Sketch Book_ (1840). The story +first ended with the very Thackerayesque touch: "The moral of this +story will be given in several successive numbers." In the _Paris +Sketch Book_ the last three words are changed into "the second +edition." This comical tale was illustrated by an excellent wood-cut, +representing the devil as sailing through the air, dragging after him +the fat Sir Roger de Rollo by means of his tail, which is wound round +Sir Roger's neck. + +In the "Advertisement to the First Edition" of his _Paris Sketch +Book_, Thackeray admits the French origin of this as well as of his +other devil-story, _The Painter's Bargain_, to be found in the same +volume. It was Thackeray's good fortune to live in Paris during the +wildest and most brilliant years of Romanticism; and while his +attitude towards this movement and its leaders, as presented in the +_Paris Sketch Book_, is not wholly sympathetic, he is indebted to it +for his interest in supernatural subjects. The Romanticism of +Thackeray has been denied with great obstinacy and almost passion, for +like Heinrich Heine, the chief of German Romantic ironists, he poked +fun at this movement. But "to laugh at what you love," as Mr. George +Saintsbury has pointed out in his _History of the French Novel_, "is +not only permissible, but a sign of the love itself." + +Mercurius makes a pun on the familiar quotation "rara avis" from +Horace (_Sat._ 2, 2. 26), where it means a rare bird. This expression +is commonly applied to a singular person. It is also found in the +_Satires_ of Juvenal (VI, 165). + + + + +THE PAINTER'S BARGAIN + +BY WILLIAM MAKEPEACE THACKERAY + + +The belief in compacts with the devil is of great antiquity. Satan, +contending with God for the possession of the human race, was supposed +to have developed a passion for catching souls. At the death of every +man a real fight takes place over his soul between an angel, who +wishes to lead it to heaven, and a devil, who attempts to drag it to +hell (Jude 9). In order to assure the soul for himself in advance, +Satan attempts to purchase it from the owner while he is still +living--_vivente corpore_, as he tells the _restaurateur_ in Poe's +story. As prince of this world he can easily grant even the most +extravagant wishes of man in exchange for his soul. Office, wealth and +pleasure are mainly the objects for which a man enters into a pact +with the Evil One. Count de Luizzi in Frederic Soulie's _Les Memoires +du Diable_ sells his soul to the devil for an uncommon consideration. +It is not wealth or pleasure that tempts him. What he wants in +exchange for his soul is to know the past lives of his fellowmen and +women, "a thing," as Mr. Saintsbury well remarks, "which a person of +sense and taste would do anything, short of selling himself to the +devil, _not_ to know." The devil fulfils every wish of his contractor +for a stipulated period of time, at the expiration of which the soul +becomes his. Pope Innocent VIII, in his fatal bull "Summis +desiderantes" of the year 1484, officially recognized the possibility +of a compact with the devil. Increase Mather, the New England +preacher, also affirms that many men have made "cursed covenants with +the prince of darkness." + +St. Theophilus, of Cilicia, in the sixth century, was the first to +make the notable discovery that a man could enter into a pact of this +nature. The price he set for his soul was a bishopric. This story has +been superseded during the Renaissance period by a similar legend +concerning the German Dr. Faustus. Other famous personages reputed to +have sold their souls to the devil for one consideration or another +are Don Juan in Spain, Twardowski in Poland, Merlin in England, and +Robert le Diable in France. Socrates, Apuleius, Scaliger and +Cagliostro are also said to have entered into compacts with him. + +In devil-contracts the Evil One insists that his human negotiator sign +the deed with his own blood, while the man never requires the devil to +sign it even in ink. The human party to the transaction has always had +full confidence in the word of the fiend. There is a universal belief +that the devil invariably fulfils his engagement. In no single +instance of folk-lore has Satan tried to evade the fulfilment of his +share in the agreement. But the man, in violation of the written pact, +has often cheated the devil out of his legal due by technical +quibbles. "It is peculiar to the German tradition," says Gustav +Freytag, "that the devil endeavours to fulfil zealously and honestly +his part of the contract; the deceiver is man." In regard to fidelity +to his word, the father of lies has always set an example to his +victims. "You men," said Satan, "are cheats; you make all sorts of +promises so long as you need me, and leave me in the lurch as soon as +you have got what you wanted." Mediaeval man had no scruples about his +breach of contract with the devil. He always considered the legal +document signed with his own blood as "a scrap of paper." "But still +the pact is with the enemy; the man is not bound beyond the letter, +and may escape by any trick. It is still the ethics of war. We are +very close to the principle that a man by stratagem or narrow +observance of the letter may escape the eternal retribution which God +decrees conditionally and the devil delights in" (H. D. Taylor, +_Mediaeval Mind_). We now can understand why in Eugene Field's story +"Daniel and the Devil" it seems to Satan so strange that he should be +asked for a written guarantee that he too would fulfil his part of the +contract. Apparently this was the first time that the devil had any +transactions with an American business man, who has not even faith in +Old Nick. + +Reference is made in this story by the devil himself to the popular +saying that the devil is not so black as he is painted. Even the +devout George Herbert wrote-- + + "We paint the devil black, yet he + Hath some good in him all agree." + +This story recalls to us the proverb: "Talk of the devil, and he will +either come or send." + +Washington Irving, as we have seen, thinks that he is not always very +obliging. + +Satan, the father of lies, is said to be the patron of lawyers. The +men of the London bar formed a "Temple" corps, which was dubbed "The +Devil's Own." The tavern of the lawyers on Fleet Street in London was +called "The Devil." + + + + +BON-BON + +BY EDGAR ALLAN POE + + +This writer, to whom the inner world was more of a reality than the +external world, had many visions, especially of the devil. The two +seem to have been on a familiar footing. The devil, we must admit, +filled Poe's imagination even if we will not go so far as to agree +with his critics that he had Satan substituted for soul. His +contemporaries, as is well known, would say of him: "He hath a demon, +yea, seven devils are entered into him." His detractors actually +regarded this unhappy poet as an incarnation of the ruler of Hades +(cf. _North American Review_, 1856; _Edinburgh Review_, 1858; _Dublin +University Magazine_, 1875). It was but recently that a writer in the +_New York Times_ declared Poe to have been "grub-staked by demons." + +The story "Bon-Bon" offers a specimen of Poe's grimly grotesque +humour. It first appeared in the _Broadway Journal_ of August, 1835. + +The devil of this most un-American of all American authors is not the +child of New World fancy, but part of European imagination. The +scenery of the story is aptly laid in the land of Robert le Diable. + +Poe's description of the devil is, on the whole, fully in accord with +the universally accredited conception of his ordinary appearance. His +brutal hoofs and savage horns and beastly tail are all there, only +discreetly hid under a dress which any gentleman might wear. The devil +is very proud of this epithet given him by William Shakespeare; and +from that time on, it has been his greatest ambition to be a +gentleman, in outer appearance at least; and to his credit it must be +said that he has so well succeeded in his efforts to resemble a +gentleman that it is now very hard to tell the two apart. The devil is +accredited in popular imagination with long ears, a long (sometimes +upturned) nose, a wide mouth, and teeth of a lion. It is on account of +his fangs that Satan has been called a lion by the biblical writers. +But although the prince of darkness can assume any form in the heavens +above, in the earth beneath, and in the waters under the earth, he has +never appeared as a lion. This, I believe, is out of deference to +Judah, whom his father also called a lion. Hairiness is a pretty +general characteristic of the devil. His hairy skin he probably +inherited from the ancient fauns and satyrs. Esau is believed to have +been a hairy demon. "Old Harry" is a corruption of "Old Hairy." As a +rule, Old Nick is not pictured as bald, but has a head covered with +locks like serpents. These snaky tresses, which already "Monk" Lewis +wound around the devil's head, are borrowed, according to Sir Walter +Scott, from the shield of Minerva. His face, however, is usually +hairless. A beard has rarely been accorded to Satan. His red beard on +the mediaeval stage probably came from Donar, whom, as Jacob Grimm +says, the modern notions of the devil so often have in the background. +Long bearded devils are nowhere normal except in the representations +of the Eastern Church of the monarch of hell as counterpart of the +monarch of heaven. The eyeless devil is original with our writer. His +disciple Baudelaire in his story _Les Tentations ou Eros, Plutus et la +Gloire_ presents the second of these three Tempters as an eyeless +monster. The mediaeval devil had saucer eyes. According to a Russian +legend, the all-seeing spirit of evil is all covered with eyes. The +cadaverous aspect of the devil is traditional. With but one remarkable +exception (the Egyptian Typhon), demons are always represented lean. +"A devil," said Caesarius of Heisterbach of the thirteenth century, +"is usually so thin as to cast no shadow" (_Dialogus Miraculorum_, +iii). This characteristic is a heritage of the ancient hunger-demon, +who, himself a shadow, casts no shadow. In the course of the +centuries, however, the devil has gained flesh. His faded suit of +black cloth recalls the mediaeval devil who appeared "in his fethers +all ragged and rent." + +It is not altogether improbable that the ecclesiastical appearance of +the devil in this story was not wholly unintentional, as the author +believes. While Satan cannot be said to be "one of those who take to +the ministry mostly," he often likes to slip into priestly robes. In +the "Temptation of Jesus" by Lucas van Leyden the devil is habited as +a monk with a pointed cowl. + +In the comparison of a soul with a shadow there is a reminiscence of +Adalbert von Chamisso, whose _Peter Schlemihl_ (1814) sells his shadow +to the devil. In his story _The Fisherman and His Soul_ Oscar Wilde +considers the shadow of the body as the body of the soul. + +That the devils in hell eat the damned consigned there for punishment +is also in accord with mediaeval tradition. This idea probably is of +Oriental origin. The seven Assyrian evil spirits have a predilection +for human flesh and blood. Ghouls and vampires belong to this class of +demons. + +The devil's pitchfork is not the forked sceptre of Pluto supplemented +by another tine, as is commonly assumed. It is the ancient sign of +fertility, which is still used as a fertility charm by the Hindus in +India and the Zuni and Aztec Indians of North America and Mexico. A +related symbol is the trident of Poseidon or Neptune. This symbol was +recently carried in a children's May Day parade through Central Park +in New York. + + + + +THE PRINTER'S DEVIL + + +The term "Printer's Devil" is usually accounted for by the fact that +Aldus Manutius, the great Venetian printer, employed in his printing +shop (about 1485) a black slave, who was popularly thought to be an +imp of Satan. This expression may have a deeper significance. It may +owe its origin to the fact that Fust, the inventor of the printing +press, was believed to have connections with the Evil One. It will be +remembered that during the Middle Ages and, in Catholic countries, +even for a long time afterwards every discovery of science, every +invention of material benefit to man, was believed to have been +secured by a compact with the devil. Our ancestors deemed the human +mind incapable, without the aid of the Evil One, of producing anything +beyond their own comprehension. The red letters which Fust used at the +close of his earliest printed volumes to give his name, with the place +and date of publication, were interpreted in Paris as indications of +the diabolical origin of the works so easily produced by him. (M. D. +Conway, _Demonology and Devil-Lore_.) Sacred days, as is well known, +are printed in the Catholic calendar with red letters, and the devil +has also employed them in books of magic. This is but another instance +of the mimicry by "God's Ape" of the sanctities of the Church. + +In the infernal economy, where a strict division of labour prevails, +the printer's devil is the librarian of hell. The books over which he +has charge must be as numerous as the sands on the sea-shore. For +nearly every book written without priestly command was associated in +the good old days with the devil. The assertion that Satan hates +nothing so much as writing or printer's ink apparently is a very great +calumny. He has often even been accused of stealing manuscripts in +order to prevent their publication. The prince of darkness naturally +rather shuns than courts inquiry. On one occasion Joseph Goerres, the +defender of Catholicism, complained that the devil, provoked by his +interference in Satanic affairs (he is the author of _Die christliche +Mystik_, which is a rich source for diabolism, diabolical possession +and exorcism), had stolen one of his manuscripts; it was, however, +found some time afterwards in his bookcase, and the devil was +completely exonerated. + +The concluding paragraph of this story is especially interesting in +the light of the present agitation for unbound books and a eulogy of +the old Franklin Square Library. + + + + +THE DEVIL'S MOTHER-IN-LAW + +BY FERNAN CABALLERO + + +Fernan Caballero is the pseudonym of Mrs. Cecilia Boehl von Faber, +Marchioness de Arco-Hermoso, who was a Swiss by birth, daughter of the +literary historian Johann Boehl von Faber, the Johannes of Campe's +_Robinson_ (1779). Her father initiated her early into Spanish +literature, which he interpreted for her in the spirit of the Romantic +movement of those early days. The interest in mediaeval traditions, +which she owes to this early training, increased when, later, she went +to Catholic Spain. The charm of her popular Andalusian tales consists +in the fact that she fully shares with the Catholic peasants of that +province an implicit faith in the truth of these mediaeval legends. In +her stories we find perhaps the purest expression of mediaevalism in +modern times. Fernan Caballero gradually drifted to the extreme Right +in all questions of religion, art and life. She hated every liberal +expression in matters of faith or art with the fanaticism of a +Torquemada. This author not only shared the somewhat general Catholic +view that all Protestants were eternally damned, but she naively +believed that every son of Israel had a tail (Julian Schmidt). + +The story of woman's triumph over the Devil is well characteristic of +the Land of the Blessed Lady, as Andalusia is commonly called. + +The legend of a devil imprisoned in a phial is also found in the work +of the Spaniard Luis Velez de Guevara called _El Diablo cojuelo_ +(1641), from whom Alain Le Sage borrowed both title and plot for his +novel _Le Diable boiteux_ (1707). Asmodeus, liberated from a bottle, +into which he had been confined by a magician, entertains his +deliverer with the secret sights of a big city at midnight, by +unroofing the houses of the Spanish capital and showing him the life +that was going on in them. The legend was introduced into Spain from +the East by the Moors and finally acclimated to find a place in local +traditions. From that country it spread over the whole of Europe. The +Asiatics believed that by abstinence and special prayers evil spirits +could be reduced into obedience and confined in black bottles. The +tradition forms a part of the Solomonic lore, and is frequently told +in esoteric works. In the cabalistic book _Vinculum Spirituum_, which +is of Eastern origin, it is said that Solomon discovered, by means of +a certain learned book, the valuable secret of inclosing in a bottle +of black glass three millions of infernal spirits, with seventy-two of +their kings, of whom Beleh was the chief, Beliar (_alias_ Belial) the +second, and Asmodeus the third. Solomon afterwards cast this bottle +into a deep well near Babylon. Fortunately for the contents, the +Babylonians, hoping to find a treasure in the well, descended into it, +broke the bottle, and freed the demons (cf. also _The Little Key of +Rabbi Solomon, containing the Names, Seals and Characters of the 72 +Spirits with whom he held converse, also the Art Almadel of Rabbi +Solomon, carefully copied by "Raphael,"_ London, 1879). This legend is +also found in the tale of the Fisherman and the Djinn in the _Arabian +Nights_, which was also treated by the German poet Klopstock in his +poem "Wintermaerchen" (1776). + +The devil, as it is said in this story, has a mortal hatred of the +sound of bells. The origin of ringing the church bells was, according +to Sir James Frazer, to drive away devils and witches. The devil in +Poe's story "The Devil in the Belfry" (1839) was, indeed, very +courageous in invading the belfry. + +The concluding part of the story is identical with the Machiavellian +tale of Belphagor. + +This tale of the Devil's mother-in-law first appeared in the volume +_Cuentos y poesias populares Andaluces_ (Seville, 1859), which was +translated the same year into French by Germond de Lavigne under the +title _Nouvelles andalouses_. An English translation under the title +_Spanish Fairy Tales_ appeared in 1881. This particular story was +rendered again into English two years later and included in _Tales +from Twelve Tongues_, translated by a British Museum Librarian +[Richard Garnett?], London, 1883. + + + + +THE GENEROUS GAMBLER + +BY CHARLES PIERRE BAUDELAIRE + + +This worshipper and singer of Satan shared his American _confrere's_ +predilection for the devil. He found his models in the diabolical +scenes of Edgar Allan Poe, whom he interpreted to the Latin world. +"Baudelaire," said Theophile Gautier, his master and friend, "had a +singular prepossession for the devil as a tempter, in whom he saw a +dragon who hurried him into sin, infamy, crime, and perversity." To +Baudelaire, the trier of men's souls, the Tempter, was as real a +person as he was to Job. He believed that the devil had a great deal +to do with the direction of human destinies. "C'est le Diable qui +tient les fils qui nous remuent!" Men are mere puppets in the hands of +the devil. "Baudelaire's motto," as Mr. James Huneker has well +remarked, "might be the reverse of Browning's lines: The Devil is in +his heaven. All's wrong with the world." + +Baudelaire's devil is a dandy and a boulevardier with wings. Each +author, it has been said, creates the devil in his own image. + +The greatest boon which Satan could offer Baudelaire was to free him +from that great modern monster, _Ennui_, which selects as its prey the +most highly gifted natures. The boredom of life--this was, indeed, as +this unhappy poet admits, the source of all his maladies and of all +his miseries. He called it the "foulest of vices" and hoped to escape +from it "by dreaming of the superlative emotional adventure, by +indulging in infinite, indeterminate desire" (Irving Babbit). His +preface to the _Flowers of Evil_, in which he addresses the reader, +ends with the following statement in regard to the nature of this +modern beast of prey: "Among the jackals, the panthers, the hounds, +the apes, the scorpions, the vultures, the serpents--the yelling, +howling, growling, grovelling monsters which form the foul menagerie +of our vices--there is one which is the most foul, the most wicked, +the most unclean of all. This vice, although it uses neither +extravagant gestures nor makes a great outcry, would willingly make a +ruin of the earth, and swallow up all the world in a yawn. This is +_Ennui!_ who, with his eye moistened by an involuntary tear, dreams of +scaffolds while smoking his hookah. Thou knowest him, this delicate +monster, hypocritical reader, my like, my brother!" + +In Gorky's story "The Devil" the devil himself suffers from _ennui_. + +But Baudelaire believed he had good reason to doubt Satan's word, and, +therefore, prayed to the Lord to make the devil keep his promise to +him. He had little faith in the father of lies. In his book called +_Artificial Paradises_ (1860) Baudelaire expressed the thought that +the devil would say to the eaters of hashish, the smokers of opium, as +he did in the olden days to our first parents, "If you taste of the +fruit, you will be as the gods," and that the devil no more kept his +word with them than he did with Adam and Eve, for the next day, the +god, tempted, weakened, enervated, descended even lower than the +beast. + +The representation of the devil in the shape of a he-goat goes back to +far antiquity. Goat-formed deities and spirits of the woods existed in +the religions of India, Assyria, Greece and Egypt. The Assyrian god +was often associated with the goat, which was supposed to possess the +qualities for which he was worshipped. The he-goat was also the sacred +beast of Donar or Thor, who was brought to Scandinavia by the +Phoenicians. (On the relation of satyrs to goats see also James G. +Frazer, _The Golden Bough_, vol. VIII, pp. 1 _sqq._) At the revels on +the Blocksberg Satan always appeared as a black buck. + +_Le bon diable_, which is a favourite phrase in France, points to his +simplicity of mind rather than generosity of spirit. It generally +expresses the half-contemptuous pity with which the giants, these huge +beings with weak minds, were regarded. + +The idea that Satan would gamble for a human soul is of mediaeval +origin and may have been taken by Baudelaire from Gerard de Nerval, +who in his mystery play _Le Prince des Sots_ (1830) has the devil play +at dice with an angel, with human souls as stakes. As a dice-player +Satan resembles Wuotan. Mr. H. G. Wells in _The Undying Fire_ (1919) +has Diabolus play chess with the Deity in Heaven. + +The devil in this story falls back into speaking Hebrew when the days +of his ancient celestial glory are brought back to his mind. In Louis +Menard's _Le Diable au cafe_ the devil calls Hebrew a dead language, +and as a modern prefers to be called by the French equivalent of his +original Hebrew name. In the Middle Ages the devil's favourite +language was Latin. Marlowe's Mephistopheles also speaks this +language. Satan is known to be a linguist. "It is the Devil by his +several languages," said Ben Jonson. + +According to popular belief the devil is a learned scholar and a +profound thinker. He has all science, philosophy, and theology at his +tongue's end. + +The Shavian devil in contradistinction to the Baudelairian fiend does +bitterly complain that he is so little appreciated on earth. Walter +Scott's devil (in "Wandering Willie's Tale," 1824) also complains that +he has been "sair miscaa'd in the world." + +The preacher to whom our author refers is the Jesuit Ravignan, who +declared that the disbelief in the devil was one of the most cunning +devices of the great enemy himself. (La plus grande force du diable, +c'est d'etre parvenu a se faire nier.) Baudelaire's disciple J. K. +Huysmans similarly expresses in his novel _La-Bas_ (1891) the view +that "the greatest power of Satan lies in the fact that he gets men to +deny him." (Cf. the present writer's essay "The Satanism of Huysmans" +in _The Open Court_ for April, 1920.) The devil mocks at this +theological dictum in Pierre Veber's story "L'Homme qui vendit son ame +au Diable" (1918). In Perkins's story "The Devil-Puzzlers" the devil +expresses his satisfaction over his success in this regard. + +The story "The Generous Gambler" first appeared in the _Figaro_ of +February, 1864, was reprinted under the title of "Le Diable" in the +_Revue du Dix-Neuvieme Siecle_ of June, 1866, and was finally included +in _Poemes en Prose_. This story has also been translated into English +by Joseph T. Shipley. + + + + +THE THREE LOW MASSES + +A CHRISTMAS STORY + +BY ALPHONSE DAUDET + + +Daudet and Maupassant furnish the best proof of the assertion made in +the Introduction to this book that even the Naturalists who, as a +rule, disdained the phantastic plots of the Romanticists, whose +imagination was rigorously earth-bound, felt themselves nevertheless +attracted by devil-lore. Although most of Daudet's subjects are chosen +from contemporary French life, this short-story treats a devil-legend +of the seventeenth century. This story as "The Pope's Mule" and "The +Elixir of the Reverend Pere Gaucher" obviously has no other object but +to poke fun at the Catholic Church. It belongs to the literary type +known as the Satirical Supernatural. + +This story is characteristic of Daudet's art, containing as it does +all of his delicacy and daintiness of pathos, of raillery, of humour. +It originally appeared in that delightful group of stories _Lettres de +Mon Moulin_ (1869). + +The horns and tail of his Satanic majesty peep out as vividly in this +book as the disguised devils in Ingoldsby's _Legend of the North +Countrie_. + +Although hating all men, the devil has a special hatred for the +priests, and he delights in bringing them to fall. Satan loathes the +priests, because, as Anatole France says, they teach that "God takes +delight in seeing His creatures languish in penitence and abstain from +His most precious gifts" (_Les Dieux ont soif_, p. 278). + +It is evident from this story that the popular belief that the devil +avoids holy edifices is not based on facts. Here the devil not only +enters the church, but even performs the duties of a sacristan at the +foot of the altar. According to mediaeval tradition the devil has his +agents even in the churches. In the administration of hell where the +tasks are carefully parcelled out among the thousands of imps, the +church has been assigned to the fiend with the poetic name of +Tutevillus. It is his duty to attend all services in order to listen +to the gossips and to write down every word they say. After death +these women are entertained in hell with their own speeches, which +this diabolical church clerk has carefully noted down. Tradition has +it that one fine Sunday this demon was sitting in a church on a beam, +on which he held himself fast by his feet and his tail, right over two +village gossips, who chattered so much during the Blessed Mass that he +soon filled every corner of the parchment on both sides. Poor +Tutevillus worked so hard that the sweat ran in great drops down his +brow, and he was ready to sink with exhaustion. But the gossips ceased +not to sin with their tongues, and he had no fair parchment left +whereon to record their foul words. So having considered for a little +while, he grasped one end of the roll with his teeth and seized the +other end with his claws and pulled so hard as to stretch the +parchment. He tugged and tugged with all his strength, jerking back +his head mightily at each tug, and at last giving such a fierce jerk +that he suddenly lost his balance and fell head over heels from the +beam to the floor of the church. (From "The Vision of Saint Simon of +Blewberry" in F. O. Mann's collection of mediaeval tales.) + + + + +DEVIL-PUZZLERS + +BY FREDERICK BEECHER PERKINS + + +Through Asmodeus the devil became associated with humour and +gallantry. Asmodeus sharpened his wits in his conversations with the +wisest of kings. It will be recalled that this demon was the familiar +spirit of Solomon, whose throne, according to Jewish legend, he +occupied for three years. Perhaps it was not Solomon after all but +this diabolical usurper who gathered around himself a thousand wives. +It is said that Asmodeus is as dangerous to women as Lilith is to men. +He loves to decoy young girls in the shape of a handsome young man. +His love for the beautiful Sarah is too well known to need any +comment. He is a fastidious devil, and will not have the object of his +passion subject to the embrace of any other mortal or immortal. + +Reference is made by the author to Albert Reville's epitome of Georg +Roskoff's _Geschichte des Teufels_ (Leipzig, 1869), a standard work on +the history of the devil. The review by this French Protestant first +appeared in the _Revue des Deux Mondes_ for 1870, and was translated +into English the following year. A second edition appeared six years +later. Roskoff's book, on the other hand, has never appeared in +translation. + +It is not easy to grasp the scholastic subtleties of mediaeval +schoolmen. Dr. Ethel Brewster suggests the following interpretations: +_An chimoera bombinans in vacuo devorat secundas intentiones_. Whether +a demon buzzing in the air devours our good intentions. This will +correspond to our saying that hell is paved with good intentions. _An +averia carrucae capta in vetito nomio sint irreplegibilia._ Whether +the carriers of a [bishop's] carriage caught in a forbidden district +should be punished. We can well understand how even the devil might be +puzzled by such questions. + +Professor Brander Matthews aptly calls this story "diabolically +philosophical." + + + + +THE DEVIL'S ROUND + +A TALE OF FLEMISH GOLF + +BY CHARLES DEULIN + + +The modern devil is an accomplished gentleman. He is the most +all-round being in creation. Mynheer van Belzebuth, as he is called in +this story, is indeed the greatest gambler that there is upon or under +the earth. On the golf-field as at the roulette-table he is hard to +beat. It was the devil who invented cards, and they are, therefore, +called the Devil's Bible, and it was also he who taught the Roman +soldiers how to cast lots for the raiment of Christ (John xix, 24). +Dice are also called the devil's bones. + +The devil carries the souls in a sack on his back also in the legend +of St. Medard. It is told that this saint, while promenading one day +on the shore of the Red Sea in Egypt, saw Satan carrying a bag full of +damned souls on his back. The heart of this saint was filled with +compassion for the poor souls and he quickly slit the devil's bag +open, whereupon the souls scrambled for liberty: + + "Away went the Quaker--away went the Baker, + Away went the Friar--that fine fat Ghost, + Whose marrow Old Nick Had intended to pick + Dressed like a Woodcock, and served on toast! + + "Away went the nice little Cardinal's Niece + And the pretty Grisettes, and the Dons from Spain, + And the Corsair's crew, And the coin-cliping Jew, + And they scamper'd, like lamplighters, over the plain!" + +The Witches' Sabbath is the annual reunion of Satan and his +worshippers on earth. The witches, mounted on goats and broomsticks, +flock to desolate heaths and hills to hold high revel with their +devil. + +Beelzebub swears in this story by the horns of his grandfather. While +the devil is known to have a grandmother, there has never been found a +trace of his grandfather. Satan has probably been adopted by the +grandmother of Grendel, the Anglo-Saxon evil demon. The horns have +been inherited by Satan from Dionysos. This Greek god had bull-feet +and bull's horns. + +The reader, who is interested in the origin of the European Carnival +(Shrove Tuesday) customs, is referred to the editor's monograph _The +Origin of the German Carnival Comedy_ (New York: G. E. Stechert & Co., +1920). + + + + +THE LEGEND OF MONT ST.-MICHEL + +BY GUY DE MAUPASSANT + + +No greater proof of the permanence and persistence of the devil as a +character in literature can be adduced than the fact that this writer, +in whom we find the purest expression of Naturalism, for whom the +visible world was absolutely all that there is, was attracted by a +devil-legend. But on this point he had a good example in his +god-father and master Gustave Flaubert, who, though a realist of +realists, showed deep interest in the Tempter of St. Anthony. + +This legend of the fraudulent bargain between a sprite and a farmer as +to alternate upper- and under-ground crops, with which "the great +vision of the guarded mount" is here connected, is of Northern origin, +but has travelled South as far as Arabia. It will be found in Grimm's +_Fairy Tales_ (No. 189); Thiele's _Danish Legends_ (No. 122), and T. +Sternberg's _The Dialect and Folk-Lore of Northampshire_ (p. 140). +Rabelais used it as a French legend, and in its Oriental form it +served as a subject for a poem by the German Friedrich Rueckert ("Der +betrogene Teufel"). In all these versions the agreement is entered +into between the devil (in the Northampshire form it is a bogie or +some other field spirit) and a peasant. It was reserved for Maupassant +to make St. Michael get the better of Satan on earth as in heaven. + +According to this legend the devil broke his leg when, in his flight +from St. Michael, he jumped off the roof of the castle into which he +had been lured by the saint. The traditional explanation for the +devil's broken leg is his fall from heaven. "I beheld Satan as +lightning fall from heaven" (Luke x, 18). All rebellious deities, who +were universally supposed to have fallen from heaven, have crooked or +crippled legs. Hephaestos, Vulcan, Loki and Wieland, each has a broken +leg. This idea has probably been derived from the crooked lightning +flashes. The devil's mother in the mediaeval German mystery-plays +walks on crutches. Asmodeus, the Persian demon Aeshma daeva, also had +a lame foot. In Le Sage's book _Le Diable boiteux_ Asmodeus appears as +a limping gentleman, who uses two sticks as crutches. According to +rabbinical tradition this demon broke his leg when he hurried to meet +King Solomon. In addition to his broken leg the devil inherited the +goat-foot from Pan, the bull-foot from Dionysius and the horse-foot +from Loki. The Ethiopic devil's right foot is a claw, and his left a +hoof. + +The devil is erroneously represented in this story as very lazy. +Industry, it has been said, is the great Satanic virtue. "If we were +all as diligent and as conscientious as the devil," observed an old +Scotch woman to her minister, "it wad be muckle better for us." + +The highest peak of a mountain is always consecrated to St. Michael. +The Mont St.-Michel on the Norman Coast played a conspicuous part in +the wars of the sons of William the Conqueror. Maupassant uses it as +the background for several of the chapters of his novel _Notre Coeur_ +(1890). The mountain also figures in his story "Le Horla" (1886). + + + + +THE DEMON POPE + +BY RICHARD GARNETT + + +The following two stories by Richard Garnett have been taken from his +book _The Twilight of the Gods_, which was first published anonymously +in 1888, and in a "new and augmented edition," with the author's name, +in 1902. The title recalls Richard Wagner's opera _Goetterdaemmerung_, +but may have been directly suggested by Elemir Bourges, whose novel +_Le Crepuscule des dieux_ appeared four years earlier than Garnett's +collection of stories. In his book Richard Garnett plays havoc with +all religions. The demons, naturally enough, fare worse at his hands +than the gods. _The Twilight of the Gods_ is a panorama of human folly +and farce. Franz Cumont has said that human folly is a more +interesting study than ancient wisdom. The author finds a great joy in +pointing out all the mysterious cobwebs which have collected on the +ceiling of man's brain in the course of the ages. Mr. Arthur Symons +rightly calls this book "a Punch and Judy show of the comedy of +civilization." + +The story of "The Demon Pope" is based upon a legend of a compact +between a Pope and the devil. It is believed that Gerbert, who later +became Pope Silvester II, sold his soul to Satan in order to acquire a +knowledge of physics, arithmetic and music. The fullest account of +this legend will be found in J. J. Dollinger's _Fables Respecting the +Popes of the Middle Ages_ (Engl. Translation, 1871). _The History of +the Devil and the Idea of Evil_ by Paul Carus (1900) contains the +following passages on this legend: + + "An English Benedictine monk, William of Malmesbury, says of + Pope Sylvester II., who was born in France, his secular name + being Gerbert, that he entered the cloister when still a + boy. Full of ambition, he flew to Spain where he studied + astrology and magic among the Saracens. There he stole a + magic-book from a Saracen philosopher, and returned flying + through the air to France. Now he opened a school and + acquired great fame, so that the king himself became one of + his disciples. Then he became Bishop of Rheims, where he had + a magnificent clock and an organ constructed. Having raised + the treasure of Emperor Octavian which lay hidden in a + subterrenean vault at Rome, he became Pope. As Pope he + manufactured a magic head which replied to all his + questions. This head told him that he would not die until he + had read Mass in Jerusalem. So the Pope decided never to + visit the Holy Land. But once he fell sick, and, asking his + magic head, was informed that the church's name in which he + had read Mass the other day was 'The Holy Cross of + Jerusalem.' The Pope knew at once that he had to die. He + gathered all the cardinals around his bed, confessed his + crime, and, as a penance, ordered his body to be cut up + alive, and the pieces to be thrown out of the church as + unclean. + + "Sigabert tells the story of the Pope's death in a different + way. There is no penance on the part of the Pope, and the + Devil takes his soul to hell. Others tell us that the Devil + constantly accompanied the Pope in the shape of a black dog, + and this dog gave him the equivocal prophecy. + + "The historical truth of the story is that Gerbert was + unusually gifted and well educated. He was familiar with the + wisdom of the Saracens, for Borell, Duke of Hither Spain, + carried him as a youth to his country where he studied + mathematics and astronomy. He came early in contact with the + most influential men of his time, and became Pope in 999. He + was liberal enough to denounce some of his unworthy + predecessors as 'monsters of more than human iniquity,' and + as 'Antichrist, sitting in the temple of God and playing the + part of the Devil' (the text inadvertently reads: and + playing the part of God); but at the same time he pursued an + independent and vigorous papal policy, foreshadowing in his + aims both the pretensions of Gregory the Great and the + Crusades." + + + + +MADAM LUCIFER + +BY RICHARD GARNETT + + +Perhaps the most fascinating--and the most dangerous--character in the +infernal world is this _Mater tenebrarum_--Our Lady of Darkness. "A +lady devil," says Daniel Defoe, "is about as dangerous a creature as +one could meet." When Lucifer fails to bring a man to his fall, he +hands the case over to his better half, and it is said that no man has +ever escaped the siren seductions of this Diabo-Lady. A poem, _The +Diabo-Lady, or a Match in Hell_, appeared in London in 1777. + +According to Teutonic mythology, this diabolical Madonna is the mother +or the grandmother of Satan. The mother or grandmother of Grendel, the +Anglo-Saxon evil demon, became Satan's mother or grandmother by +adoption. A mother was a necessary part of the devil's equipment. +Having set his mind to equal Christ in every detail of his life, Satan +had to get a mother somehow. In his story "The Vision Malefic" (1920) +Mr. Huneker tells of the appearance of this counterfeit Madonna on a +Christmas Eve to the organist of a Roman Catholic church in New York. +Partly out of devotion to her and partly also because he could not +obtain the sacramental blessing of the Church, Satan was forced to +remain single. In the story "Devil-Puzzlers" by Fred B. Perkins the +demon Apollyon appears as an old bachelor. "I have a mother, but no +wife," he tells the charming Mrs. Hicok. The synagogue was more +lenient towards the devil. The rabbis did not hesitate to perform the +marriage ceremony for the diabolical pair. According to Jewish +tradition the chief of the fallen angels married Lilith, Adam's first +wife. She is said to have been in her younger days a woman of great +beauty, but with a heart of ice. Now, of course, she is a regular +hell-hag. If we can trust Rossetti, who painted her Majesty's +portrait, she still is a type of beauty whose fascination is fatal. +This woman was created by the Lord to be the help-meet of Adam, but +mere man had no attraction for this superwoman. She is said to have +started the fight for woman's emancipation from man, and contested +Adam's right to be the head of the family. Their married life was very +brief. Their incompatibility of character was too great. One fine +morning Adam found that his erstwhile angelical wife had deserted him +and run away with Lucifer, whom she had formerly known in heaven. + +The King-Devil apparently always succeeded somehow or other in +breaking the chains with which, according to legend, he had repeatedly +been bound and sealed in the lowest depths of hell. From antediluvian +times the demons appear to have been attracted by the daughters of men +and to have come frequently up to earth to pay court to them. The only +devil who must always remain in hell is the stoker, Brendli by name. +The fires of hell must not be allowed to go out. + +The anatomically melancholic Burton also tells of a devil who was in +love with a mortal maiden. Jacques Cazotte tells the story of +Beelzebub as a woman in love with an earth-born man. + + + + +LUCIFER + +BY ANATOLE FRANCE + + +This writer has a great sympathy for devil-lore, and many of his +characters show the cloven hoof. An analyst of illusions, he has a +profound interest in the greatest of illusions. An assailant of every +form of superstition, he has a tender affection for the greatest of +superstitions. An exponent of the radical and ironical spirit in +French literature, he feels irresistibly drawn to the eternal Denier +and Mocker. + +The story of the Florentine painter Spinello Spinelli, to whom Lucifer +appeared in a dream to ask him in what place he had beheld him under +so brutish a form as he had painted him, is told in Giorgio Vasari's +_Vite de' piu eccellenti Pittori, Scultori, ed Architteti_ (1550), +which is the basis of the history of Italian art. It was treated by +Barrili in his novel _The Devil's Portrait_ (1882; Engl. tr. 1885), +from whom Anatole France may have got the idea for his story. But +there is also a mediaeval French legend about a monk (_Du moine qui +contrefyt l'ymage du Diable, qui s'en corouca_), who was forced by the +indignant devil to paint him in a less ugly manner. + +The devil is very sensitive in regard to his appearance. On a number +of occasions he expressed his bitter resentment at the efforts of a +certain class of artists to represent him in a hideous form (cf. M. D. +Conway, _Demonology and Devil-Lore_). Daniel Defoe has well remarked +that the devil does not think that the people would be terrified half +so much if they were to converse face to face with him. "Really," this +biographer of Satan goes on to say, "it were enough to fright the +devil himself to meet himself in the dark, dressed up in the several +figures which imagination has formed for him in the minds of men." It +makes us, indeed, wonder why the devil was always represented in a +hideous and horrid form. Rationally conceived, the devil should by +right be the most fascinating object in creation. One of his essential +functions, temptation, is destroyed by his hideousness. To do the work +of temptation a demon might be expected to approach his intended +victim in the most fascinating form he could command. This fact is an +additional proof that the devil was for the early Christians but the +discarded pagan god, whom they wished to represent as ugly and as +repulsive as they could. + +The earliest known representation of the devil in human form is found +on an ivory diptych of the time of Charles the Bald (9th century). +Many artists have since then painted his Majesty's portrait. +Schongauer, Duerer, Michelangelo, Titian, Raphael, Rubens, Poussin, Van +Dyck, Breughel and other masters on canvas vied with each other to +present us with a real likeness of Satan. None has, however, equalled +the power of Gustave Dore in the portrayal of the Diabolical. This +Frenchman was at his best as an artist of the infernal (Dante's "Great +Dis" and Milton's "Satan at the gates of Hell"). + +Modern artists frequently represent the devil as a woman. Felicien +Rops, Max Klinger, and Franz Stuck may be cited as illustrations. +Apparently the devil has in modern times changed sex as well as custom +and costume. Victor Hugo has said: + + "Dieu s'est fait homme; soit. + Le diable s'est fait femme." + +"Lucifer," as well as the other stories which form the volume _The +Well of St. Claire_, is told by the abbe Jerome Coignard on the edge +of Santa Clara's well at Siena. The book was first published serially +in the _Echo de Paris_ (1895). It has just been rendered into Spanish +(_El Pozo de Santa Clara_). + + + + +THE DEVIL + +BY MAXIM GORKY + + +This story shows reminiscences of Le Sage's _Le Diable boiteux_. It +will be recalled that Asmodeus also lifts the roofs of the houses of +Madrid and exhibits their interior to his benefactor. + +The fate of a Russian author was, indeed, a very sad affair. "In all +lands have the writers drunk of life's cup of bitterness, have they +been bruised by life's sharp corners and torn by life's pointed +thorns. Chill penury, public neglect, and ill health have been the lot +of many an author in countries other than Russia. But in the land of +the Czars men of letters had to face problems and perils which were +peculiarly their own, and which have not been duplicated in any other +country on the globe.... Every man of letters was under suspicion. The +government of Russia treated every author as its natural enemy, and +made him feel frequently the weight of its heavy hand. The wreath of +laurels on the brow of almost every poet was turned by the tyrants of +his country into a crown of thorns." (From the present writer's essay +"The Gloom and Glory of Russian Literature" in _The Open Court_ for +July, 1918.) + + + + +THE DEVIL AND THE OLD MAN + +BY JOHN MASEFIELD + +_POSTCRIPT_ + + +For the benefit of the gentle reader, who is about to shed a tear or +two over the demise of the devil, the following episode from Anatole +France's _My Friend's Book_ is retold here: + +Pierre Noziere (Anatole France) takes his baby-girl to a Punch and +Judy show, the culmination point of which always consists of the duel +to the death between Punch and the Devil. The terrible battle ends, of +course, with the death of the Devil. The spectators applaud the heroic +act of Punch, but Pierre Noziere is not happy over the result of the +fight. He thinks that it is rather a pity that the Devil has been +slain. Paying no heed to Suzanne sitting by his side, he goes on +musing: + + "The Devil being dead, good-bye to sin! Perhaps Beauty, the + Devil's ally, would have to go, too. Perhaps we should never + more behold the flowers that enchant us, and the eyes for + love of which we would lay down our lives. What, if that is + so, what in the world would become of us? Should we still be + able to practise virtue? I doubt it. Punch did not + sufficiently bear in mind that Evil is the necessary + counterpart of Good, as darkness is of light, that virtue + wholly consists of effort, and that if there is no more any + Devil to fight against, the Saints will remain as much out + of work as the Sinners. Life will be mortally dull. I tell + you that when he killed the Devil, Punch committed an act of + grave imprudence. + + "Well, Pulchinello came on and made his bow, the curtain + fell, and all the little boys and girls went home; but still + I sat on deep in meditation. Mam'zelle Suzanne, perceiving + my thoughtful mien, concluded that I was in trouble.... Very + gently and tenderly she takes hold of my hand and asks me + why I am unhappy. I confess that I am sorry that Punch has + slain the Devil. Then she puts her little arms round my + neck, and putting her lips to my ears, she whispers: + + "'I tell you somefin: Punch, he killed the nigger, but he + has not killed him for good.'" + + + + +INDEX + + +[List of authors and titles contained in the Notes. Names are +alphabeted after omission of _de_ or _von_, and titles are entered +without their initial article. Each title is followed by the author's +name in parentheses.] + +_Ambrosio, or the Monk_ (Lewis), 296 + +_Anathema_ (Andreev), 286 + +_Anatomy of Melancholy_ (Burton), 318 + +Andreev, Leonid, 286 + +_Artificial Paradises_ (Baudelaire), 304 + +_Auswahl aus des Teufels Papieren_ (Richter), 286 + +_Autobiography of Satan_ (Beard), 286 + + +Barham, Richard Harris (307) + +Barrili, Anton Giulio, 319 + +Baudelaire, Charles Pierre, 279, 296, 303-06 + +Beard, J. R., 286 + +_Belphagor, or the Marriage of the Devil_ (Machiavelli), 281-83, 301 + +_Belphagor_ (an English play), 281 + +_Betrogener Teufel_ (Rueckert), 313 + +_Bon-Bon_ (Poe), 295-97 + +Bourges, Elemir, 315 + +Brevio, Giovanni, 282 + +Browning, Robert, 280, 303 + +Burton, Richard, 318 + + +Caballero, Fernan, 300-02 + +Caesarius of Heisterbach, 296-97 + +Campe, Joachim Heinrich, 300 + +Carus, Paul, 315 + +Cazotte, Jacques, 318 + +Chamisso, Adalbert, 297 + +Chappuys, Gabriel, 281 + +Chateaubriand, Francois Auguste Rene, 283 + +Chatterton, Thomas, 283 + +_Christliche Mystik_ (Goerres), 299 + +Conway, Moncure Daniel, 298, 318 + +_Crepuscule des Dieux_ (Bourges), 315 + +Cumont, Franz, 315 + + +Daborne, Robert, 281 + +_Daniel and the Devil_ (Field), 294 + +_Danish Legends_ (Thiele), 313 + +Dante Alighieri, 320 + +Daudet, Alphonse, 307-08 + +Defoe, Daniel, 317, 319 + +_Demon Pope_ (Garnett), 315-16 + +_Demonology and Devil-Lore_ (Conway), 298, 319 + +_Demonology and Witchcraft_ (W. Scott), 285, 296 + +Deulin, Charles, 311-12 + +_Devil_ (Gorky), 304, 321 + +_Devil; his Origin, Greatness and Decadence_ (Reville), 309 + +_Devil and his Dame_ (Houghton), 281 + +_Devil and the Old Man_ (Masefield), 322-23 + +_Devil and Tom Walker_ (Irving), 284-85 + +_Devil in a Nunnery_ (Mann), 279-80 + +_Devil in Germany_ (Freytag), 293 + +_Devil in the Belfry_ (Poe), 301 + +_Devil is an Ass_ (Jonson), 281 + +_Devil-Puzzlers_ (Perkins), 306, 309-10, 317 + +_Devil's Fiddle_, 279 + +_Devil's Mother-in-Law_ (Caballero), 300-02 + +_Devil's Portrait_ (Barrili), 319 + +_Devil's Round_ (Deulin), 311-12 + +_Devil's Violin_ (Webster), 279 + +_Devil's Wager_ (Thackeray), 290-91 + +_Diable_ (Baudelaire), 306 + +_Diable au cafe_ (Menard), 305 + +_Diable boiteux_ (Le Sage), 300, 314, 321 + +_Diablo cojuelo_ (Guevara), 300 + +_Diabo-Lady, or a Match in Hell_, 317 + +_Dialect and Folk-Lore of Northampshire_ (Sternberg), 313 + +_Dialogus Miraculorum_ (Caesarius), 297 + +_Dieux ont soif_ (France), 307 + +Dollinger, J. J., 315 + +_Du moine qui countrefyt l'ymage du Diable_, 319 + +Dunlop, J. C., 282 + + +_Elixir of the Reverend Pere Gaucher_ (Daudet), 307 + +_En Route_ (Huysmans), 280 + +_Evangelium Nicodemi_, 283 + +_Evenings on a Farm near Dikanka_ (Gogol), 289 + + +_Fables Respecting the Popes of the Middle Ages_ (Dollinger), 315 + +_Fairy Tales_ (Grimm), 313 + +_Faust_ (Goethe), 280 + +_Faust_ (Lenau), 279 + +_Faustus_ (Marlowe), 305 + +Field, Eugene, 294 + +_Fisherman and his Soul_ (Wilde), 297 + +Flaubert, Gustave, 313 + +_Flowers of Evil_ (Baudelaire), 303 + +France, Anatole, 307, 319-20, 322-23 + +Frazer, James George, 289, 301, 304 + +Freytag, Gustav, 293 + +_From the Memoirs of Satan_ (Hauff), 286-88 + +Fulwell, Ulpian, 281 + + +Goethe, Wolfgang, 280, 284 + +Gogol, Nikolai Vasilevich, 289 + +_Golden Bough_ (Frazer), 289, 304 + +Gorky, Maxim, 304, 321 + +Goerres, Joseph, 299 + +_Goetterdaemmerung_ (Wagner), 315 + +_Grim, the Collier of Croydon_ (Fulwell), 281 + +Grimm, Jacob, 296, 313 + +Guevara, Luis Velez, 300 + + +Hauff, Wilhelm, 286-88 + +Heine, Heinrich, 290 + +Henslowe, Philip, 281 + +Herbert, George, 294 + +Hill, Rowland, 279 + +_History of Fiction_ (Dunlop), 282 + +_History of the Devil and the Idea of Evil_ (Carus), 315-16 + +_History of the French Novel_ (Saintsbury), 290-91, 292 + +Hoffmann, E. Th. A., 286 + +_Homme qui vendit son ame au Diable_ (Veber), 306 + +Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus), 291 + +_Horla_ (Maupassant), 314 + +Houghton, P. M., 281 + +Hugo, Victor, 320 + +Huneker, James, 279, 303, 317 + +Huysmans, Joris Karl, 280, 306 + + +_Ingoldsby Legends or Mirth and Marvels_ (Barham), 307 + +Irving, Washington, 284-85, 294 + +_Italian Novelists_ (Roscoe), 282 + + +Jarintzow, Mme., 289 + +Jonson, Ben, 281, 305 + + +Klopstock, Friedrich Gottlieb, 301 + + +_La-Bas_ (Huysmans), 306 + +La Fontaine, Jean, 281 + +Lavigne, Germond, 302 + +_Legend of Mont St.-Michel_ (Maupassant), 313-14 + +Lenau, Nikolaus, 279 + +Le Sage, Alain, 300, 314, 321 + +Lewis, ("Monk") Matthew, 296 + +_Lettres de mon Moulin_ (Daudet), 307 + +_Little Key of Rabbi Solomon_, 301 + +_Lucifer_ (France), 319-20 + + +_Machiavel and the Devil_ (Daborne and Henslowe), 281 + +Machiavelli, Niccolo, 281-83, 301 + +_Madam Lucifer_ (Garnett), 317-18 + +_Man and Superman_ (Shaw), 305 + +Mann, Francis Oscar, 279-80, 308 + +Marlowe, Christopher, 305 + +Masefield, John, 322-23 + +Maupassant, Guy, 307, 313-14 + +_Mediaeval Mind_ (Taylor), 293 + +_Memoires du Diable_ (Soulie), 286, 292 + +_Memoirs of Satan_ (Hauff), 286-88 + +Menard, Louis, 305 + +Milton, John, 283, 320 + +_My Friend's Book_ (France), 322-23 + + +Nerval [Labrunie], Gerard, 279, 305 + +_Notre Coeur_ (Maupassant), 314 + +_Nouvelles andalouses_ (Caballero), 301 + + +_Origin of German Carnival Comedy_ (Rudwin), 283, 312 + + +_Painter's Bargain_ (Thackeray), 290 + +_Paris Sketch Book_ (Thackeray), 290 + +_Parlement of Devils_, 283 + +_Parlement of Foules_, 283 + +Parliament of Sprites (Chatterton), 283 + +Peabody, Josephine Preston, 280 + +Perkins, Frederick Beecher, 306, 309-10, 317 + +_Peter Schlemihl_ (Chamisso), 297 + +_Pied Piper of Hamelin_ (Browning), 280 + +_Piper_ (Peabody), 280 + +Poe, Edgar Allan, 292, 295-97, 301, 303 + +_Poemes en Prose_ (Baudelaire), 306 + +_Pope's Mule_ (Daudet), 307 + +_Pozo de Santa Clara_ (France), 320 + +_Prince des Sots_ (Nerval), 305 + +_Printer's Devil_, 289-99 + + +Rabelais, Francois, 313 + +Reville, Albert, 309 + +Riche, Barnabe, 281 + +Richter, Jean Paul, 286 + +_Robinson der Juengers_ (Campe), 300 + +Roscoe, Thomas, 282 + +Roskoff, Georg, 309 + +Rueckert, Friedrich, 313 + +Rudwin, Maximilian J., 283, 306, 312, 321 + +_Russian Poets and Poems_ (Jarintzow), 289 + + +Sachs, Hans, 281 + +_St. John's Eve_ (Gogol), 289 + +Saintsbury, George, 290, 292 + +Sansovino, Francesco, 281 + +_Satan's Diary_ (Andreev), 286 + +_Satanism of Huysmans_ (Rudwin), 306 + +_Satires_ (Horace), 291 + +Schmidt, Julian, 300 + +Scott, Walter, 285, 296, 305 + +_Selections from the Devil's Papers_ (Richter), 286 + +Shakespeare, William, 295 + +Shaw, George Bernard, 305 + +Shipley, Joseph T., 306 + +_Sonata del Diavolo_ (Tartini), 279 + +_Sonate du Diable_ (Nerval), 279 + +Soulie, Frederic, 286, 292 + +_Spanish Fairy Tales_ (Caballero), 302 + +Stael, Madame, 284 + +Sternberg, T., 313 + +Stevenson, Robert Louis, 284 + +Straparola, Giovan-Francesco, 281 + +_Supreme Sin_ (Huneker), 279 + +Symons, Arthur, 315 + + +_Tales from Twelve Tongues_ (Garnett?), 302 + +Tartini, Giuseppe, 279 + +Tasso, Torquato, 283 + +Taylor, H. D., 293 + +_Temptation of St. Anthony_ (Flaubert), 313 + +_Tentations ou Eros, Plutus et la Gloire_ (Baudelaire), 279, 296 + +_Teufel in Berlin_ (Hoffmann), 286 + +_Teufel mit der Geige_ (Gengenbach), 279 + +_Teutonic Mythology_ (Grimm), 296 + +Thackeray, William Makepeace, 290-94 + +Thiele, Just Mathias, 313 + +_Thrawn Janet_ (Stevenson), 284 + +_Three Low Masses_ (Daudet), 307-08 + +_Twilight of the Gods_ (Garnett), 315 + + +_Undying Fire_ (Wells), 305 + + +Vasari, Giorgio, 310 + +Veber, Pierre, 306 + +_Vinculum Spirituum_, 301 + +_Violon du Diable_, 279 + +_Vision Malefic_ (Huneker), 317 + +_Vision of Saint Simon of Blewberry_ (Mann), 308 + +_Vite de' piu eccellenti Pittori, Scultori, ed Architteti_ (Vasari), 319 + + +Wagner, Richard, 315 + +_Wandering Willie's Tale_ (Scott), 305 + +Webster, Benjamin, 279 + +_Well of St. Claire_ (France), 320 + +Wells, H. G., 305 + +Wilde, Oscar, 297 + +_Wintermaerchen_ (Klopstock), 301 + + +THE END + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Devil Stories, by Various + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DEVIL STORIES *** + +***** This file should be named 31754.txt or 31754.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/1/7/5/31754/ + +Produced by Irma Spehar and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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